How to Kill a Hero

by SouthernCookie73

Summary:

Katsuki knows Deku. He knows when something is wrong at a glance and after Deku returns from a weekend away from the dorm he knows something bad happened, only the nerd won't tell him a thing. Katsuki is determined to find out what went down over those 48hrs Deku was out of his sight and he refuses to stop until he figures it out, all the while picking up the broken pieces of Deku along the way.

Notes:

[songs that inspired the following scene]

This entire fic was inspired by the second to last song (there are only 4)

A weekend. Forty-eight hours, Katsuki thought, forty-eight hours was all it took to break Deku.

It wasn’t uncommon for the nerd to stay at his mum's place once or twice a month for a weekend before coming back to the dorms. He’d usually reappear Sunday evening to be ready for classes the next day, but this time hadn’t been the case.

No one had thought twice about Deku being gone for the weekend. A few of the class had seen him leave Friday after classes with his usual yellow backpack. The only thing that had stood out was Uraraka mentioning that she hadn’t heard Deku say anything about going home to see his mum, but everyone else had shrugged it off. Deku was human, he forgot things, like telling his friends where he was going before heading out. Not that Deku had a responsibility to tell every one of his damn friends where he was going every time he stepped out the door.

But it turned out he hadn’t been going to his mum’s that night. He had just been stepping out to get something from a store and took his bag to save using plastic. He should have been back no longer than an hour later but that didn’t happen and no one was any the wiser till Monday.

As the whole class shuffled around the kitchen and dining area after breakfast Monday morning and were getting their final things together before leaving for class as a pack, because that’s what they usually did, head over in mass, when Aizawa came in through the front doors of the dorms with a very subdued Deku at his side wearing track pants and a hoodie.  

Deku was staring down at his feet, keeping his head down, his hair covering the view of his face and his hands in his pockets. Katsuki thought he could see the white of bandages peeking through and the atmosphere of the room shifted from its usual drowsy excitement for the day to one of questioning shock. Katsuki wasn’t the only one to notice Deku’s demeanour was way off.

The teacher said something quietly to Deku and without lifting his head he nodded and stepped away from him, heading past everyone who had stepped closer to head for the stairs. Katsuki’s eyes followed his path closely.

“Deku!” called out Uraraka with a hand raised in welcome and stepped after him. 

“Uraraka!” called Aizawa in a sharp warning and she paused, her eyes still following Deku across the room till he disappeared up the stairs and then she looked back. Most of the class flinched at Aizawa’s tone. He only ever used it when someone was in trouble and Uraraka looked very confused as to what she had done wrong.

Aizawa took a deep breath, letting his shoulders slump as he turned to leave the dorm.
“Come on the rest of you, it’s time to get to class” spoke the teacher, back to his usual tired monotone.

“Sir,” spoke up Iida and everyone’s tense, confused faces turned to him. Aizawa looked back.

“Is Midoriya not joining us?” he asked with a raised arm and Katsuki rolled his eyes. Something was not right and he thought that was bloody obvious.

“Not for today” replied Aizawa and continued to lead the way out, the collection of confused students followed.

“Is he not well?” pushed Iida loudly as they stepped outside. Katsuki was towards the front of the pack, something that wasn’t like him. Usually Katsuki would have headed over to class himself earlier than the rest or stick to the rear of the pack, but today he didn’t want to miss hearing what was going on with the nerd.

“He is not” replied Aizawa and Katsuki only narrowed his eyes at how formal the answer had been but it had satisfied Iida enough to silence him.

“Oh no, we should do something for him when we get back after classes” spoke up Uraraka from beside Iida.

“No,” answered Aizawa and the girl flinched, no one had expected the teacher to get so involved with that line of conversation. Aizawa halted and turned to face the class behind him, raising his voice for all to hear.

“Midoriya is not feeling well and you will all let him rest and give him space to recover” ordered Aizawa sternly and after receiving a few hesitant nods he continued the way to the classroom.

But Katsuki knew Deku better than any of the other extras who called themselves his friends. He knew what a sick Deku looked like, how he would sway on his feet, the glazed look in his eyes, but this wasn’t sickness. Katsuki knew something more was at play and he was instantly determined to get to the bottom of it. He didn’t like not knowing about the things happening around him.

As much as Katsuki hated gossip and found it pointless, sometimes he would pick up something interesting while he overheard Ashido talking and Katsuki liked knowing things, especially the important things. And he knew that whatever had made Deku ‘unwell’ enough to miss class was something big indeed as the nerd was not one to let himself fall behind. Even with a fever Deku would have pushed himself to attend classes (except maybe PE of course) and Katsuki knew this because he had witnessed the exact thing back in middle school.

Katsuki knew Deku. He knew something was horribly wrong and he was going to find out what.

The topic of Deku being under the weather quickly faded away as classes went on as normal, his friends taking notes for him and Katsuki rolled his eyes to himself with annoyance. The rest of the class were like sheep; believing their teacher’s words without complaint, but Katsuki knew better and once the day's classes were over he sought out the nerd in his room.

There was a niggle of doubt in Katsuki’s mind that the nerd may have been actually feeling unwell to a degree, though he very strongly disbelieved that that was the reason for him taking the day off, so Katsuki opted to knock rather than kick the door in. When he got no answer he slowly turned the door handle and peeked inside.

The lights were off inside and the curtains drawn but Katsuki could make out the lump in Deku’s bed. He slid into the room and pushed the door closed with enough force to make the bundle hiding under the covers flinch. Katsuki stomped to loom over the bed in the far corner of the room where the nerd peeked his green head out of the covers to peer through the gloom. With the door shut it was much darker and Katsuki could only just make out the outline of Deku’s hair. When he turned on the lamp on the desk he saw the greenette tuck his head deeper into the covers against the light.

Katsuki wasn’t having it and reached down to tear the covers from the boy who practically squeaked with surprise at the rudeness of it all. Underneath, Deku was in a pair of his All Might sleep shorts and a plain white tee, but what caught Katsuki’s attention as the boy hung his head, were the bandages around his hands, up his arms that he had glimpsed earlier and the bruises littering his legs.

Katsuki gritted his teeth and reached down the grab Deku’s chin, the boy’s eyes opening wide from the sudden touch and lifted his head with enough speed to surprise the slightly smaller boy before he could resist. There he saw more. A black eye, split lip and eyebrow, bruised cheeks and a scratch there too. Deku had been beaten and although the swelling had gone down, the evidence remained and Katsuki had to hold himself back from tearing the boys clothes off to see what other damage had been done. Before he could consider the action or not Deku pulled his head free quickly but didn’t bother hiding it again and instead moved across his bed to sit with his back against the wall, knees raised as he glared back at Katsuki from across the mattress. Katsuki saw more in those eyes then Deku would admit out loud. He saw fear and sadness.

“What the hell happened?” Katsuki growled out the words and Deku only diverted his gaze to the mattress without a reply, “Tell me Deku” Katsuki hissed.

“Nothing” mumbled the boy, his brows furrowed defensively and Katsuki let out an audible growl.

“What the fuck happened?” pushed Katsuki angrily, “or what, you expect me to believe some pathetic asshole got the jump on you huh” he pushed.

Katsuki had expected Deku’s glare to be directed back at him but instead the boy lowered his head, his glare giving way to more sadness as he brought his bruised knees up to his chest and Katsuki’s next hissed words died in his throat. What ever had happened had been bad.

“Deku?” Katsuki tried again, more gently.

“Go away Kacchan” Deku mumbled tiredly.

“Not until you tell me how the fuck you ended up this way?” shot back Katsuki, giving up on the gentle approach and waving a hand up and down Deku’s curled up body. The need to tear off his clothes to see what other damage lay underneath returned.

“I’m not going to tell you, so you may as well leave” sulked Deku, his voice hoarse.

“At least let me see then” huffed Katsuki with an eye roll to the ceiling. He wanted, no, needed more information and if Deku wasn’t going to tell him with his words, then he would use his eyes to get a better idea. Deku’s gloomy green eyes flicked back to Katsuki as he tilted his head back at the greenette, waiting.

Deku uncurled his knees from his chest, stretching out his legs flat across the mattress and lifted his arms to Katsuki in offering.

“All of it” spoke Katsuki, his words coming out firm as he had no intention on taking no for an answer. Deku regarded Katsuki for a few seconds longer with a frown before he wiggled forward and Katsuki stepped back from the bed to allow the greenette to stand and he silently pulled his tee up over his head, discarding it on the bed.

Katsuki swallowed hard, Deku’s torso was covered in deep purple bruises and scratches, even a bite and what looked to be a freshly healed scar to the left of his abdomen. In fact, the boy was more bruise than skin at that point and even just getting off of the bed must have pained him. His neck was bruised with a thick discoloured line around it like someone had tried to strangle him with a thick rope, it made Katsuki’s blood boil and it explained why the boy’s voice had been so hoarse. Deku’s heavy eyes met Katsuki’s red ones with a silent challenge but Katsuki wasn’t about to push his luck. He considered himself lucky Deku had even listened to him in the first place.

Katsuki didn’t dare give in to the temptation to reach out and feel, knowing it would hurt. Deku stayed perfectly still, only his green gaze following Katsuki as he stepped around him to see his equally bruised back.

Katsuki came full circle, red eyes on the bandages covering his arms. Deku lifted one to him. Katsuki gently started to unwrap one from his upper arm down to his fingers. Underneath he found more bruises, bites and scratches scattered across his skin all the way down to his knuckles. One bite mark was so bad that a small chunk had been taken and replaced with a fresh pink scar that dipped into his upper arm. It was sickening.

Deku’s knuckles were red, scabbed and bruised and Katsuki knew that what ever had happened to him, at least Deku had fought back, hard.

“Anything broken?” asked Katsuki, without looking away from Deku’s damaged knuckles.

“Knuckles, ribs, collar bone, wrist, jaw, nose” he listed off. Katsuki released Deku’s arm, holding out the bandage in silent offering to re-wrap his arm and Deku simply nodded gently to him.

“Recovery Girl fixed them for me” continued Deku talking about his bones and Katsuki nodded back as he continued wrapping his arm.

“And the scar?” asked Katsuki. He had seen Deku without clothes on plenty when changing for their Hero course classes and he knew that scar had not been there before.

“Internal bleeding” answered back Deku with a flat tone like it was nothing.

“When you coming back to classes?” asked Katsuki as he stepped back, having finished wrapping Deku’s arm and Deku let his arm drop back to his side and their eyes met again.

“I don’t know” replied the greenette but he didn’t look disappointed about it, in fact, Deku’s expression was hard to read. He wasn’t exactly frowning but he was far from smiling. He just looked tired. Deku’s gaze flickered to his bed. Katsuki got the message and picked up the nerd’s tee from the bed and threw it to him, gently (not that throwing pieces of cotton was something you could make hurt without effort Katsuki figured)

Deku grabbed his shirt and Katsuki turned to leave, waving his gratitude back at Deku as he made it to the door. He pulled the door open than paused, turning his head back with a stern gaze.

“You at least won right?” asked Katsuki. He would not sit back and accept that Deku got his ass handed to him so easily. The greenette was quiet for a moment, regarding Katsuki till he finally turned his gaze down.

“Yeah” breathed Deku and his shoulders drooped as Katsuki left the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Katsuki didn’t tell anyone what he had seen and he noted the nerd’s absence from the next day classes as well as the following. It wasn’t till Thursday that Deku came back to class, his skin clear, bruise and mark free thanks to visiting Recovery Girl again.

Despite the fact that they all lived with each other, the entire class was cheery at Deku’s return to the classroom. They had hardly seen the boy until today. Katsuki had noted how Deku had been making an effort to avoid his classmates, opting to eat all of his meals and showering while they were in their classes. Though at the time Katsuki had thought Deku had done so to avoid his friends seeing the bruises, worrying about him and pestering him with questions. The rest of the class took it as him not feeling well and those that had knocked on his door only got a distant call from the teen saying he wasn’t feeling well and that he’d already eaten.

In class Deku kept to himself. He only interacted when someone else started the conversation and he would do his best to keep it as short as possible. No mumbling or blabbering or carrying the conversation over to another topic. He would simply offer a response and be done with it. The nerd didn’t even attempt fake smiles and cheery words. Soon everyone in the class was well aware of Deku’s off mood and kept their distance. Only Deku’s closest friends continued to attempt to engage with him but their efforts were wasted. Deku avoided them during the breaks and after classes. No one knew where Deku was disappearing off too and despite their worrying, his friends decided to give him some space.

Come Friday they were keeping conversations to a minimum; only greeting Deku or speaking up about a class related topic. The nerd sat out on their practical hero and PE classes too, which bothered Katsuki. Only, Deku didn’t watch his classmates with the same enthusiasm he had before, only staring off as though lost in his own thoughts. Katsuki couldn’t help but glare the boys way, wishing his eyes alone could peel back his layers and reveal his secrets.

Deku had become practically impassive. His eyes were never as wide and bright as they had been before and Katsuki felt he had almost forgotten what his teeth even looked like; the boy never smiled anymore. The teachers had noticed too. More than once Katsuki noticed Deku being held back after class. After the last class of Friday, Katsuki lingered outside the closed classroom door, hoping to overhear something new as Deku stayed back at Aizawa’s request.

“Midoriya, I see your injuries are better” commented Aizawa, his muffled stoic voice seeping through the door, “how are you feeling?” he asked

“Fine” he heard Deku’s flat reply and he could practically picture their unimpressed teacher’s stare.

“Have you been going to your appointments?” asked the teacher. These appointments were news to Katsuki and must be one of the reasons Deku disappeared to somewhere other than his room on a couple of evenings throughout the week.

“Yeah” came his flat response.

“And?” pushed Aizawa.

“They’re fine” Katsuki could hear the loud tired sigh of the teacher.

“Midoriya,” warned Aizawa, “from what I hear you haven’t been talking at all during your few sessions” there was a long pause and what ever Deku replied with, Katsuki didn’t hear.

“There’s not much to keep confidential if you won’t even try” barked back Aizawa followed by another sigh.

“Midoriya!” called Aizawa firmly but it didn’t stop the green haired teen from forcing the classroom door open with enough force to break it from its tracks and the greenette scowled at it. Only then did he notice Katsuki standing in the hallway, having stepped away from the door in time and Deku’s scowl softened to a frown. Deku left the door to rest against the wall and continued down the hallway at an angry pace. Aizawa stepped out a moment later and stared after the boy before dropping his gaze to Katsuki and the door. He frowned to Katsuki but said nothing as he disappeared back into he room with a tired groan and Katsuki left without a word.

It wasn’t hard for Katsuki to put the small piece of information he had gathered together with Deku’s mood to paint a picture. Deku was seeing a counsellor and it only made the bad situation Katsuki imagined seem that much darker.

From what he knew, Deku went out, got into some trouble and had to fight his way out of it, getting beaten senseless while doing so but Deku had said he had won the fight so Katsuki had trouble picturing what the other guy must have looked like. Deku wasn’t the type to beat someone bloody or beat them anymore than the minimum required or to knock them out as quickly as possible. A full fist fight was not something the green haired teen aimed for, even when his temper was being tested. Deku was too logical for that.

Katsuki ran through a mental list of quirks that could have done so much damage to the teen’s body:
A speed quirk that allowed the user to hit Deku faster than he could initially react.
Someone with multiple arms like Shoji maybe.
Someone who could duplicate themselves like the villain Twice and have attacked Deku in mass.
Or it could have been multiple villains.
The list went on and there were just too many possibilities.

Katsuki had already spent the time in his room before he fell asleep searching on his phone through local news sites for any reports on an incident that could be the one Deku was involved in but there was no mention of a school boy being beaten and knowing U.A they would have worked hard to hide the name of the student involved, but there was nothing. The news stations had all been too busy running rampant on their latest big scoop on a large scale drug bust so there was even less chance of a beating of one teenager being reported on and each night Katsuki would fall asleep irritated.

It wasn’t until 3am Saturday morning that Katsuki saw Deku again after the nerd had vanished into his room after dinner, but when Katsuki had stepped out on the ground floor of their dorms, he hadn’t expected to find anyone down there while he got himself a drink, annoyed that he had woken in the first place. But he found Deku sitting alone in the dark on a couch, leaning forward so his elbows rested on bouncing knees, his head held low and his hands clasped over the back of his neck.

“Deku?” asked Katsuki with a sleep heavy voice and narrowed eyes as he took in the sight and Deku flinched with surprise and sat up, turning his face to Katsuki. His exhausted freckled face looking to him in the dim light provided by the kitchen safety light that were on 24/7.

“Kacchan, what are you doing here?” asked Deku, getting up to stand, his shoulders tense. Katsuki pointed to the kitchen over his shoulder and left his explanation at that.

“What about you?” he asked with narrowed eyes and pressed lips.

“Nothing” mumbled Deku, “I couldn’t sleep”

“Why’s that?” pushed Katsuki and Deku’s tired green gaze only rested on him without replying. Deku looked tired and worn down. Weak, Katsuki thought, and he was going to take advantage of that if he could. Deku had been guarded since coming back on Monday and it wasn’t often he got the chance to be alone with him outside of barging into his room which he didn’t want to do if he could avoid it. He wanted Deku to let his guard down around him, barging into someone’s room and demanding answers only did the opposite.

“Hungry?” asked Katsuki when he didn’t get a reply and he turned back to the kitchen without waiting for a reply, but Deku’s expression shifted, at least a fraction, surprise and confusion showing in his eyes and his eyebrows tilting the slightest.

“I’ll make you something. You look tired as fuck” added Katsuki as he heard Deku step after him, “have you not been eating right or something?” he asked, looking back over his shoulder but he already knew the answer to that. He hadn’t. Deku would eat some food under the watchful eyes of his friends, but Katsuki hadn’t seen Deku leave the table with a clean plate since the previous week. Lately there was always food left over.

Deku kept a distance of a few feet between them when Katsuki stepped into the kitchen and flicked on the lights and began pulling items from around the room, planning on making some cooked eggs. Deku just stood to the side, his green eyes silently following Katsuki as he moved around the space. Katsuki clenched his jaw. He could feel Deku’s eyes on him but when the nerd made no move to speak or sit it made Katsuki uncomfortable and irritated.

“So what the hell’s been up your ass all week?” Katsuki asked with a snarl, sparing Deku a quick glance before turning back to the pan in his hands. Deku only watched on without opening his mouth to reply so Katsuki snapped.

“What the fuck Deku, you’re not even pretending to be alright” spat Katsuki, turning to face Deku with another snarl, “the whole class knows something’s wrong with you. What the fuck happened to wanting to be a hero that no one had to worry about huh?”

Deku’s eyes widened a little at Katsuki’s words but then his brows sunk down and he frowned back and without a single word in reply, Deku turned and walked away.

Katsuki could only snarl at himself. So much for making Deku comfortable enough to let his guard down. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Katsuki rarely used the word, especially when describing himself, but he was worried for the nerd. He hardly spoke, never smiled, avoided everyone and when he wasn’t in class or in his room, fuck knows where he was, he wasn’t eating enough and it looked like he was hardly sleeping too judging by the bags developing under his eyes that were becoming hard to ignore.

Half way through the second week, Deku stopped coming to classes. On the first day Deku didn’t show the teacher asked, but the class didn’t have any answers and Aizawa had left them to study while he went to their dorms to check. Their teacher returned with an irritated expression but did manage to bring Deku back with him. The next day Deku must have hidden away somewhere other than his room because this time Aizawa didn’t bring him back and Deku remained absent for the rest of the school week.

Everyone in class was concerned, but they didn’t know what to do about it. From what Katsuki had observed and overheard, Deku didn’t speak to any of them or let them close to him. Uraraka even whined about how when she had approached Deku he had stepped back, keeping a space between them. It reminded Katsuki of how Deku had reacted when he had touched his face and when he kept his distance in the kitchen and Katsuki wondered if the nerd was still having trouble sleeping.

Friday Katsuki received a text from All Might for one of their meetings after classes that he usually attended with Deku since he was in on their secret of One For All and he wondered if Deku had been seeing All Might at all over the past, almost, two weeks since he returned so different. If not, chances were the nerd would be more open to their childhood idol and maybe Katsuki would have a chance to learn more, otherwise he could always try pressuring the retired hero into telling him something. All Might had a soft spot for them both, Deku more so obviously, but Katsuki could work with that.

Katsuki headed for the conference lounge right after the final bell to meet with All Might and Deku, who had been absent from class again, only to find he had been too late. When Katsuki reached the door he could hear raised voices inside and he hesitated, listening.

“But young Midoriya,” spoke up All Might, his voice carrying distress, “what about everything you have worked so hard for” the man almost pleaded.

“I can’t!” Katsuki could hear the greenette bark back like he was sick of repeating himself.

Katsuki pulled the door open to glare at the squabbling duo inside and although he had missed the beginning he could feel the heaviness to the room. Deku’s brows were drawn together and his lips pressed into an angry line, his eyes downcast and for the first time since returning, Katsuki could see the shimmer of unshed tears there. All Might looked distraught, his mouth hanging open and his blue eyes wide. The man looked to be at a loss.

At the interruption Deku turned and stepped past Katsuki, turning his body to make sure they didn’t touch and headed down the hallway. As much as Katsuki wanted to drag the nerd back by his hair, he turned his attention back to All Might who slumped back into his seat with his hands to his face. Katsuki stepped in and closed the door behind him. An upset All Might would b easier to get answers from than a frustrated Deku.

“What was that about?” he asked with a stern look.

“Midoriya wishes to transfer schools” answered All Might from behind his hands and Katsuki’s red eyes opened wide with shock.

“What! Why?” Katsuki pushed, coming closer.

“He says he no longer wishes to be a hero” replied All Might, dropping his hands from his thin face and resting his arms across his lap, the once proud, strong hero hung his head low, “He wishes for me to find someone else to inherit One For All”

“The fuck” Katsuki hissed out. All Might lifted his gaze to Katsuki and the man looked broken.

“Young Midoriya hasn’t been well since he returned to school,” spoke the teacher like that wasn’t already obvious to everyone who had eyes, “he has not been caring for himself or-“

“Or eating properly or sleeping or even talking to anyone including his counsellor” finished Katsuki. Usually he would have rolled his eyes, but now he looked down at the carpeted floor with a hard stare.

“Yes” admitted the teacher with a sigh.

“What even happened?” asked Katsuki and their eyes met, “I saw all the bruises and marks on him when he came back. Something more happened then just a fight to mess him up like this” he added. All Might let out a long breath.

“I am sorry young Bakugo,” he spoke with all the exhaustion in the world and rose to his feet, “but legally I cannot discuss what occurred” he touched a hand to Katsuki’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze, attempting a small smile and headed from the room.

Katsuki stood there in the room alone for a moment more, dumfounded by the news and being denied again before anger swelled up inside him. Like hell he was going to let the nerd leave, his only worthy rival and his reason to push himself so far each day. Without Deku at his side, spurring him on, what was the point. Katsuki turned from the room and rushed after All Might, pulling up to walk beside the tall man.

“Tell me what the fuck happened” Katsuki demanded and All Might paused to face him, “I want to help but how the fuck can I when no one will tell me what the hell is going on?” he snarled up at the hero.

“Bakugo-”

“No,” barked Katsuki angrily to cut off the hero, “are you just going to let him leave, after everything?” Katsuki threw his hands up in a rage, palms popping, “he’s your fucking successor and you're going to let him walk away from being a hero? It’s all he’s ever gone on about since we were small ass brats” he hissed. Luckily the hallway was empty.

“Bakugo,” spoke All Might again calmly, “I cannot make him do something he does not wish too” breathed the teacher heavily.

“I will speak with the principle,” All Might continued, “together we can come up with an alternative that will allow Midoriya to stay here and take some time off of school until he recovers enough to want to return to his hero classes”

“And if he doesn’t come back to them?” hissed Katsuki, crossing his arms over his chest, “then what?”

“Then we go from there” replied All Might and again turned to leave when Katsuki had nothing more to say. It was infuriating having everyone tip toe around what really happened and he knew he would need to take more drastic steps to reach the truth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The nerd was depressed, that much Katsuki could figure out with a simple google search. Deku had distanced himself from everyone around him and closed himself off emotionally, he hardly left his room, skipped classes, barely ate or slept, he didn’t exercise or train anymore, he barely spoke and GOD it had been so long since Katsuki had last seen the nerd smile. When Deku did make an appearance in front of the class in the dorms he would hardly speak or interact and more than once Katsuki noted that the teen had looked lost in his own thoughts.

Come Sunday morning Katsuki was in the kitchen making himself breakfast. Katsuki liked to get up earlier than the rest of the class to go for a run or do his exercises and shower before anyone else stirred. It was more peaceful that way, but those that called themselves the Bakusquad (much to Katsuki’s annoyance) had learnt his early morning habits and would make their appearance around this time each morning, ready to swoop in and take advantage of Katsuki’s cooking and were currently occupying one of the tables opposite the kitchen counter, chatting away while Katsuki cooked. Kirishima joined him in the kitchen to make some light conversation and since the red haired teen was the least annoying of the bunch, Katsuki engaged with him.

“Woah, man!” came Kaminari’s loud voice from the table and everyone turned to him, quickly following his gaze to Aoyama looking drowsy and dishevelled, “What happened to your face?” despite the question, the electric blonde was beaming and got to his feet to get a closer look. Aoyama sported a bruised cheek and rubbed at it.

“This?” asked Aoyama, “tis from Midoriya” answered the boy. Katsuki was at full attention now.

“What why?” piped up Ashido as she joined Kaminari surrounding Aoyama.

“Oh,” started the teen, “it sounded like he was having a terrible dream so I tried to wake him and must have startled him instead” to his credit, Aoyama did not look greatly hurt or upset beyond his face not looking the same it had the night before.

Kirishima shared a concerned glance with Katsuki.

“Does he have bad dreams often?” asked Kirishima from the kitchen. Thank god for Kirishima, Katsuki thought, he had wanted to ask that same question.

“Oui” answered the French teen wanna-be (Katsuki was not convinced he was actually from France), “I hear him crying out often, but this time was worse than the others so I thought to help” he sulked.

“Midoriya did apologize though,“ he added, “just, he looked horribly scared” he finished with a concerned frown.

The other three chimed in with how thoughtful Aoyama had been for Deku and how good of a friend he was and how Deku wouldn’t have meant it, but it only made Katsuki’s unease and concern grow deeper.

With the ease and distractions of the freedom of a weekend day, it was easy for Katsuki to slip away under the pretence of studying in his room, only to stop in front of Deku’s room. He knocked, but there was no response and like before, he quietly let himself in, only this time he closed the door gently behind him as he spotted the nerd on his side on the bed above the covers. Katsuki stepped closer and peered over to see the nerd sleeping, his back to him and his hands clasped in front of his face. Katsuki had wanted to try to push for answers again. He figured he had given Deku enough space by now to try again with a more gentle approach that he had to be in the right mindset for, but with he nerd asleep he took the chance to gaze around the room, absorbing all the information he could.

A container of prescription pills on the desk, less than a third gone.
Class note books provided to him from his friends and left closed in a pile.
Clothes in a bundle in the corner of the room.
Loose papers on the desk, unanswered questionnaire sheets from his counsellor, though Katsuki didn’t get a chance to glance them over before his attention was brought back to Deku who was stirring and making little noises in his sleep. Katsuki looked back to the teen to see him curl in on himself on the bed as his noises of unease rose and Katsuki dared to reach forward, a hand hovering over the greenette’s shoulder, ready to wake him from his nightmare, only thanks to Aoyama he now knew the risk waking him carried.

“Oi, Deku” Katsuki tried calling first but the smaller teen only curled up tighter, his brows furrowing and his lips quivering as he whimpered in his sleep. Katsuki reached forward the remaining inch and touched Deku’s shoulder, only to spring back a second later when the greenette shot into action.

Deku’s eyes opened wide and he turned back towards the touch with a clenched fist rushing through the empty air between them only to end up sitting on the edge of his bed panting with wide frightened eyes staring down at nothing.

“Deku” Katsuki spoke more gently like he was dealing with a cornered frightened animal and Deku’s green eyes lifted to take in the sight of Katsuki for the first time. Deku blinked a few times and calmed his breathing with a hand to his chest before he felt ready to speak.

“Kacchan,” he breathed, “please don’t scare me like that” he tried to speak calmly, but Katsuki didn’t miss the shaking to his voice.

“Scare you?” scoffed Katsuki, “You’re the one being fucking scary reacting like that”

“Sorry” replied Deku, his shoulders dropping and he closed his eyes and lowered his head.

“You get bad dreams often?” asked Katsuki, glancing around the room once more.

“Sometimes” answered Deku flatly and Katsuki held his tongue.

“What’s those for?” asked Katsuki and Deku lifted his head to see Katsuki jerk his chin towards the pills. It was only now that Deku seemed to realize the fact that Katsuki had let himself in uninvited and his green brows dropped a fraction with displeasure.

“Sleeping pills” he replied. Katsuki picked up the container to read.

“Strong stuff,” he commented aloud after scanning it over, he turned his eyes back to Deku who was watching him, “doesn’t seem to be working though. You still look tired as hell” added Katsuki, gesturing to the tired drained look of Deku’s face. Katsuki put the container back on the desk but not before he had memorized the details on it to look into later.

And for the first time since Deku returned, the corner of the teen’s lips curled up into the smallest of smiles and Katsuki had to stop his jaw from dropping. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed the greenette smiling till he was given a taste of it. 

“I try not to take them if I can help it” replied Deku with that small, tired smile that made Katsuki’s chest ache and Deku lowered his gaze off to the side of the room.

“Why’s that?” asked Katsuki and he was glad Deku wasn’t looking to him. He wasn’t sure what sort of surprised expression he was wearing.

“I’ve read that some people get addicted to it and I didn’t want to grow dependent on it” replied Deku, amazingly still wearing that small smile. Katsuki only let out a huff in understanding. Katsuki pulled out Deku’s desk chair and sat himself down in it. So far so good conversation wise. If Katsuki continued to tread lightly, he could get more information.

“How’s the counselling going?” asked Katsuki a little uncomfortably. He didn’t know where else to direct the conversation and he didn’t know if asking would make Deku raise his guards against him again.

“You know about that?” that hint of a smile grew a fraction and Katsuki felt encouraged. He had never felt so happy to see any smile ever and he only wished he could see Deku’s full smile again, so much so it became a personal goal.

“Yeah” Katsuki replied flatly. Deku reached out a hand past Katsuki to his desk and Katsuki swivelled the seat of the chair around to pick up the papers Deku had silently asked for and handed them too him. They were the empty questionnaires and Deku glanced them over before closing his eyes with a long sigh. Katsuki chose not to ask about the papers.

“Are you talking to them now at least?” Katsuki asked instead after a moment, tentatively, so aware that he had to do this the right way.

“I guess a little” sighed back Deku, his hint of a smile fading.

“It gets easier you know” offered Katsuki, averting his eyes and rubbing the back of his neck. He had never admitted it to anyone before that he’d gone to a few anger management sessions himself. Maybe more than a few. Deku seemed to perk up at his words and lifted his head to Katsuki, his green eyes wider.

“You, what? When?” he asked, almost desperate to know.

“Anger management. After the sports festival,” explained Katsuki, lowering his hand but still not looking back, “the school made me” he added more defensively and finally met Deku’s gaze with a challenging hint to his narrowed eyes. Deku’s lips stretched into a smile, the widest one yet and Katsuki thought his heart would stop as Deku’s green eyes lit up with the warmth of the smile along with something else mischievous.

“You don’t seem that different to me” teased Deku playfully and Katsuki bared his teeth back at the green haired teen.

“Yeah well why the hell would I?” snarled back Katsuki but he felt the playfulness behind it, “If I suddenly started being so nice to everyone I’d never hear the end of it” he added, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes as he leaned back into the desk chair and, god damnit, Deku chuckled. The first he had heard in almost two whole weeks and it made him melt.

“So,” spoke up Katsuki awkwardly once Deku had calmed a little and the teen turned his attention back to Katsuki opposite him with a small smile, “are you going to tell me what happened?” Katsuki asked and his heart started to race. As the words left Katsuki’s lips Deku’s smile faded and died and his face melted back into the same expressionless one he had been wearing almost exclusively lately, but there was a sadness to his green eyes that didn't escape Katsuki’s attention. Deku lowered his gaze.

“Kacchan,” he whispered, “I don’t want to talk about it”

“Why?” pushed Katsuki gently but he couldn’t deny that being shut out by Deku hurt.

“Kacchan, please” pleaded Deku

“What the hell happened that was so bad?” pushed Katsuki, almost pleading himself.

“I don’t want to talk about it” pushed back the greenette with a little more force.

“Deku” began Katsuki, leaning forward.

“Stop asking Kacchan!” Deku raised his voice and turned back with a glare. Katsuki shot to his feet with a snarl. He launched himself at the slightly smaller teen, pushing him back and pinning him to the bed under him. Deku yelped and his eyes opened wide from the sudden action.

“Believe it or not Deku, I actually give a fuck” Katsuki spat down angrily at the teen under him whose eyes only seemed to be growing wider, “but how am I supposed to do anything when I don’t even know what the fucking problem is?”

“I’m not telling you” whimpered back the greenette and the sadness welling up in the teen’s eyes made Katsuki’s chest ache.

“Then what the fuck do you want me to do?” hissed back Katsuki, his irritation seeping through.

“There’s nothing you can do” shot back Deku.

“Like hell their isn’t,” hissed Katsuki forcing his weight down more to make the greenette squirm, “I could find the fuckers who did this-“

“You can’t” cut in Deku as his eyes teared up and Katsuki lifted his weight, “they’re already gone” sniffled Deku and Katsuki narrowed his eyes in question.

“The ones that beat me,” tears rolled down Deku’s face, “they’re dead. And - and it wasn’t their fault okay?” pushed on Deku and Katsuki stood back up. Deku covered his face with his hands as he cried.

“What happened?” Katsuki tried pushing again with narrowed eyes and a tone free of anger. Deku only shook his head behind his hands as the younger teen began to turn on his side and curl in on himself on the mattress. The pitiful sight was hard for Katsuki to bare. Comforting people was not one of his strengths.

But Katsuki tried, in his own way. He sat on the edge of the bed beside the distressed teen and simply sat in silence, hoping that just having someone beside him would be a comfort to him, but he couldn’t know for sure. He stayed silently beside Deku, staring off at the wall with his own thoughts until Deku’s crying ceased and he uncurled himself some, but no words passed between them and once Katsuki knew that Deku had calmed, he let himself out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Days went by until one day Katsuki noticed something else was off. Their homeroom teacher, Aizawa, was in a worse mood than usual, wearing his constant threating glare that kept the entire class silent. Deku was still not attending classes and at this point the teacher had given up trying to find and push the teen to attend each morning. Come lunch when everyone was chatting again, relieved to be getting away from the hostile feeling teacher, Aizawa looked to Katsuki as he rose from his seat and made a small hand gesture that Katsuki interpreted as the teacher wanting him to stay and so he did, not approaching Aizawa at the front of the room until everyone else had left.

“Come with me” was all the teacher said before leaving the room and Katsuki followed with narrowed eyes, hands stuffed in his pockets through the hallways until they reached one of the conference lounges, much like the one Deku and he had meetings with All Might in, though with Aizawa it was completely different territory.

“Sit” said the teacher flatly and Katsuki perched on the couch as the teacher took a seat opposite him. There was a briefcase already beside the teachers chosen seat and Aizawa reached down to it, opening it, bringing out a file and placing it on the coffee table between them. Katsuki looked from the yellow file and back to the teacher with narrowed eyes. The teachers hand rested on top of the papers.

“I know you’ve been concerned about Midoriya and eager to find out anything you can,” spoke Aizawa with a warning glare, “I am willing to share some of the incidents details with you” Katsuki’s narrowed eyes widened, happy for the chance to learn more, yet concerned about the price it was most likely going to cost him to learn it.

“Obviously not everything is in here,” continued Aizawa, his hand still pressing the file to the table, “I am already breaking the rules even showing it and speaking with you about it. In return, I want you to help Midoriya” Katsuki’s head snapped back to face his teacher’s stern gaze.

Katsuki had already been trying to help Deku by making him talk about it hadn’t he, or had it all been to just feed his curiosity? Maybe it just looked that way. But he did care for the nerd and he was concerned about him. He actually missed Deku's constant muttering behind him in class, his annoying bright smiles and laughter. He’d told Deku that he gave a damn and he had stayed with him while he had cried, even Katsuki knew he was lacking in the supportive department, but he had tried at least, in his own way, hadn’t he? If Aizawa wanted someone to fawn all over Deku and his sadness, Katsuki didn’t think he was the one to do it. But he wanted to know what was in that file more than anything, so surely he could try harder, try differently if that was the price the teacher was asking for.

“Okay” Katsuki replied, trying to hide the scepticism in his voice. Aizawa lifted his hand, letting it hover over it for a moment longer.

“It goes without saying that what ever you read here can’t leave this room and you only have access to this file till lunch is over” Katsuki nodded to the teacher’s words and he withdrew his hand completely. Katsuki reached for the file, bringing it back to his lap and opened it with a deep breath for whatever he was to find.

Inside were police reports, photos, medical notes and more. Katsuki skimmed them over thoroughly.

The photos caught his attention first. Pictures of Deku when he had first been pulled out of whatever hell hole he had spent that weekend in and he looked far worse than when Katsuki had seen him. The green haired teen was bloody, his nose crooked, his lip and eyes swollen, blood matted his hair and had dried across his face. He looked like he had been beaten within an inch of his life.

Another photo that had a time stamp on it, from a video Katsuki thought, was more disturbing. In it Deku was shirtless, sweating, blind folded and wearing a thick, tight black quirk nullification collar while gloved hands hovered over him. Touching him and holding him down. Monitoring cables were attached to his chest and someone was leaning in with a needle. In the photo Deku’s mouth was open and he looked sacred, like he was trying to beg them to stop or preparing to scream out. It made Katsuki’s heart race and his stomach turn.

Katsuki moved on, finding it hard to keep looking. He bypassed the medical notes in favour of the police reports since he was limited on time. Katsuki skimmed it over, taking in the parts he deemed important.

Izuku Midoriya, age 16, was discovered at 22:13 on the Sunday on the 15^th of August, the only survivor after the XXXXXXX incident, discarded and left to bleed to death from multiple lacerations and internal bleeding after the responsible party fled from the scene.

Multiple other deceased persons were also found at the scene having suffered similar injuries including civilians, criminals and other heroes. A total of 7 bodies were discovered at the scene.

Blood tests showed that all of the deceased and Izuku Midoriya showed signs of drugs in their systems. The drug, labeled XXXXXXX is believed to be designed to induce a heightened flight or fight response from the description given by Izuku Midoriya and as seen in the video footage obtained from the scene.

It is strongly believed that after the minor was abducted on Friday evening on the 13^th of August between the hours of 19:00 and 20:00 he was immediately subjected to drug XXXXXXXX upon regaining consciousness and suffered from sever hallucinations that induced panic and was closely observed during that time. As seen in the video footage obtained from the scene.

Katsuki’s heart was pounding as his eyes burned across the pages.

All 8 involved in the XXXXXXXX incident were forced to wear quirk nullification collars.

Rooms setup for medical purposes were discovered attached to the site.

Isolation cells were discovered.

Medical records on the victims were discovered.

The facility seemed to be the source of creating and testing drug XXXXXXX.

Drug XXXXXXXX was still in development and it is strongly believed from the evidence collected that the XXXXXXXX incident was not the first of it’s kind held on site and the event was being streamed live for viewers to bet on as a source of income to further drug XXXXXXXX’s development.

As seen in the video footage.

Katsuki still had time and quickly skimmed over the medical records that listed Deku’s injuries and more.

Broken ribs, punctured lung, ruptured spleen, sever concussion, broken nose, broken collarbone, fracture…. The list went on.

Bone fragments embedded in knuckles removed.

That caught Katsuki’s attention and finally he lowered the papers back to the table with a hard look. He was furious inside, but he felt a sense of calm holding back his rage. He couldn’t lose it now. He still had questions.

“Parts of the reports were blacked out” commented Katsuki, looking to his waiting teacher’s stoic face.

“As I said, there are still things you can’t know” replied Aizawa flatly, resting his chin on the back of his hands as his own tired hard eyes studied his student.

“What was the incident exactly?” pushed Katsuki. He didn’t really care for the name of the drug. Aizawa only hardened his glare in return to the question so with a huff Katsuki moved on, crossing his arms.

“What’s this video they kept mentioning?” he asked. The report had mentioned it multiply times.

“The people running the underground drug productions kept records of all their work, including the results of their tests on those they abducted,” replied the teacher, leaning back in his seat. Katsuki was too high strung to do anything more than lean forward, eager for everything he could get.

“They kept written and video records of how their victims responded to the drugs and they live streamed it for those who knew how to find it on the deep web” continued Aizawa dryly, “It looks like what Midoriya went through happened to a a lot of victims, being streamed online like a sport for viewers” Katsuki narrowed his eyes.

“And they just let all of their test subjects die?” hissed Katsuki recalling how the report had described Deku being left to bleed out after the hell he endured.

“That seems to be the case,” sighed back Aizawa heavily, “from further investigations the bodies of the deceased were then sold for their organs on the black market. Izuku had been extremely lucky that he had been found in time and that his mother had raised the alarm in the first place”

“His mum?” Katsuki sat a little straighter.

“Yes. Midoriya was supposed to visit her Saturday night, but when he never showed she called the school. Our security footage showed him leaving the school grounds that Friday night so we had assumed he had gone to his mother’s place then” explained the teacher and Katsuki was struck with exactly how lucky Deku had been, just as Aizawa had said. If he had not planned to see his mother, if she had not called the school, Deku would have died.

“The drug?” pushed Katsuki, feeling the pressure of how close lunch must be to ending.

“Injected into the victim and at low does causes hallucinations,” spoke the teacher, moving to lean forward again, “when given at higher does it kicks off the flight or fight response, flooding the body with adrenaline and causing an instinctual panic, only this drug takes that to another level”

The bell rang and Aizawa stood. Katsuki followed, his heart racing that he had ran out of time as the teacher scooped the file back up and returned it to its briefcase.

“The video,” spoke Katsuki, desperate to not let the conversation end right at the bell, “I want to see it”

“No,” replied Aizawa firmly, “no one should see it” he added on just so Katsuki would know that it wasn’t personal, “I would not wish for anyone to see that and I know Midoriya would feel the same” he faced his student with a much softer glare. Katsuki held back his sharp retort. Aizawa took a step towards the door.

“Why did you show me this?” asked Katsuki and Aizawa turned back to face him. Katsuki knew their teacher. He was a hard man and not one to give in to the wants of his students and his sudden act of generosity to feed Katsuki’s need to know for the price of helping Deku, which was vague, just didn’t feel right. Aizawa let out an exhausted sigh before fixing a serious look back on Katsuki.

“The criminals making the drug, one of them was caught by the police and of course Midoriya was saved as well while the rest of them escaped. They are demanding their friend be released or they are threatening to release video footage to the media,” explained the teacher darkly, Katsuki could feel the rage emanating from the teacher from where he stood.

“Seems the criminals were hoping to catch a U.A student to throw into the mix just to spice things up and Midoriya just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time,” Aizawa sighed again, “Now they are holding that over the Principle’s head. If the footage is released it will hurt Midoriya and damage the school’s reputation, but of course we cannot give in to their demands either. So, if things don’t work out, I want you to be there for Midoriya. He will need all the support he can get,” the teacher’s expression hardened again, “regardless, I want you to help Midoriya anyway. Support him, now that you know a little more of what happened and bring him back to class. He won’t feel any better if he just continues to hide away” and with that Aizawa turned to leave.

“Now, don’t be late to class” warned the teacher and Katsuki made his legs move despite the heaviness filling his chest.

And Katsuki did try, though it was awkward. After he had started to piece a complete story of what had happened together he didn’t feel that revealing it to the nerd would help him much. Despite how much he wanted to rub it in Deku’s face that he knew the truth now and remind him of his annoyance that he didn’t tell him in the first place, Katsuki kept it to himself. He knew it had been bad. He knew it had hurt Deku more than physically. And he knew he had to tread lightly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Though Katsuki still had to attend classes he would make the effort to return to the dorm during lunch breaks to check in on Deku who hid away in his room. In the beginning Katsuki would barge in and practically force the nerd to eat what he made for him for lunch and after doing that for days on end Deku seemed to finally get the message that he wasn’t going to be left alone and when Katsuki would return each lunch break, he would find Deku out of his room and sitting on the couches in the lounge waiting for Katsuki and he honestly liked the feeling that gave him. (Though on those first few days Deku had tried to make himself scarce during lunch and Katsuki had hunted him down and dragged the nerd back)

It started to become a ritual for the two of them and Katsuki enjoyed it.

Deku would laze around in his bed with no motivation to get up each morning and Katsuki would make him breakfast and put it aside for him in the fridge and it would always be gone by the time he returned during lunch.

For lunch Deku would be waiting for him and the nerd slowly began to become more talkative while Katsuki made them lunch and ate together, talking about school and normal everyday things. Katsuki no longer pushed to know the details of what had hurt Deku so much and the greenette seemed to relax around him more, enough to smile occasionally.

At dinner, though Katsuki started off by bringing a meal to Deku’s room for him, within days of the teen warming up to him again, he started to drag him down to the ground floor to eat with the class. Though Deku stuck close to Katsuki and the angry blonde glared away anyone who dared approach them while they sat alone together and ate, the class as a whole got over their initial surprise and welcomed Deku warmly, like he had never been missing from the picture to begin with.

Katsuki had only made it two days of skipping on his friends during lunch before they started to question him about his absence and when he refused to answer, they had even tried to follow him back to the dorms and against his stubborn nature, Katsuki revealed that he was spending his lunches with Deku. Thankfully he hadn’t needed to explain further for them to shoot him knowing glances and leave him alone, which honestly infuriated him more, but he stomped back to the dorm anyway.

The beginning of the second week since Aizawa had shared details with him, Katsuki decided to step things up.

“You coming man?” asked Kirishima as the class pack of 1A left the dorm for classes and the red head turned back to face Katsuki, who was still leaning against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed.

“Yeah,” replied Katsuki with a huff, “just tell the teacher I’ll be a little behind” he told him and Katsuki jerked his chin to the floor above. The red head’s confused frown turned into a toothy grin.

“Sure thing man, see you soon” he shot Katsuki a thumbs up and rushed off the catch up to the class. With the dorm now empty, Katsuki got off of the bench and headed up the stairs to Deku’s room, inviting himself in as usual. At this point Deku was beyond looking surprised when Katsuki barged in and the greenette sat up in his bed at the intrusion with sleep heavy eyes and a tussled mess of hair.

“Come on nerd,” barked Katsuki, “get up” he reached for the end of the covers and tore them off, much to Deku’s displeasure and he let Katsuki know with a whiny ‘Kacchan’

“Get up. I’m making breakfast” ordered Katsuki at the glaring green haired teen.

“Kacchan, shouldn’t you be going to class?” asked Deku, having taken in the sight of Katsuki in his uniform, as he rubbed at his eyes and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“I’ll do what ever I fucking want” hissed back Katsuki, “your ass better be downstairs in five minutes or I’m coming after you” warned Katsuki and left.

Deku was on time and came down to the kitchen wearing track pants and a plain white tee. With a yawn he sat at the counter while Katsuki finished up in the kitchen.

“So why aren’t you in class?” asked Deku from where he perched.

“I could ask you the same, nerd” spat back Katsuki with an eye roll.

“I mean, you haven’t skipped before” argued Deku.

“I’m not skipping. I said I’d be late” shot back Katsuki as he plated their breakfast and he slid one of the plates to Deku, who straightened up.

“Why though?” pushed Deku and Katsuki let out a low growl.

“Because I fucking want to” he hissed back, “now shut up and eat” he ordered and Deku glanced down at his plate and back to Katsuki who continued to glare before he finally picked up his fork and started to eat. Katsuki relaxed. Deku didn’t speak again till the food was gone. Much to Katsuki’s surprise, Deku picked up both of their empty plates and took them to the sink to wash, also tackling the pile of used dishes Katsuki had used to make the meal. For a change, Katsuki was the one to sit at the counter and watch, planning his next move.

“Did you just want to watch me to make sure I actually ate your breakfasts?” asked the nerd, putting the last of the dishes on the drying rack, and turning back to face Katsuki with a small smile.

“As if you would ever turn down anything I make” Katsuki scoffed. Deku’s eyes softened.

“Now go get changed” tacked on Katsuki, feeling a little tense again at his own words and Deku’s smile dropped.

“What, I already –“ started the greenette.

“Your school uniform” pushed Katsuki with another over the top eye roll.

“Kacchan, I-“ Katsuki got up from his seat by the counter and came around to face Deku in the kitchen.

“Yeah, yeah, I know already. The school gave you permission to have the Trimester off or whatever, but I’m telling you to come back to class” he stared at Deku with hard immovable eyes, “Now c’mon” added Katsuki and took Deku by his wrist and started to lead him back to the stairs. Deku had practically flinched under his touch and stumbled along for a few steps before digging in his heels and yanking his hand back from Katsuki’s grip.

“Kacchan!” the greenette held his hand to his chest like he had been burned and Katsuki scowled back at the teen, “I don’t want to be a hero anymore. There’s no point for me to go to class” Deku raised his voice as he spoke, almost pleadingly.

“Bullshit” hissed Katsuki back, getting right into Deku’s personal space, their faces only inches apart, “you’re still here aren’t you. I’ve known you my whole fucking life and it’s only ever been hero this and hero that. So don’t you fucking lie to me about not wanting to be a hero anymore because I know that’s not it” finished Katsuki, jabbing Deku in the chest with a pointed finger as he spoke. Deku lowered his gaze.

“You don’t have to pretend anymore Kacchan,” spoke up the teen, all the fight gone from his voice, “I know the teachers put you up to this. You don’t have to keep acting like you care” Katsuki’s finger recoiled and he bared his teeth with hurt and irritation.

Katsuki blew up. Grabbing the slightly smaller teen by the front of his tee Katsuki lifted him and forced him back till he had Deku pinned against the wall, his elbow pressed across his chest as he leaned in close to snarl at the infuriating teen.

“Are you freaking deaf or just stupid?” hissed Katsuki, “I told you already that despite what your fucking pea brain thinks, I actually give a damn about you,” Deku’s green eyes were wide and shimmering with unshed tears, “now get your ass up stairs and get changed for class because I am sick of you sitting around on your ass moping all damn day” He released the smaller teen and stepped back, still seething.

“Despite the shit you say Deku, I know you still want to be a hero or you would have pushed to leave already,” the greenette was frozen in place while Katsuki went on, “so hurry up and get your shit together. You said you were going to beat me to become the number one hero, well how are you going to do that if you’re just going to keep falling behind like this huh?” Katsuki raised his hands in the air, “everyone is so damn worried about you and I’m fucking sick of it” Katsuki lowered his hands, closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again to look to the green haired teen who still hadn’t moved. Not even a tear had been shed yet he was so frozen in place.

Finally the nerd spoke.

“Y-you never tried to ask me about it anymore” commented to nerd and Katsuki rolled his eyes again.

“You made it clear you weren’t going to tell me shit so why waste my time with it” huffed back Katsuki starting to feel deflated and like his argument wasn’t going to get them anywhere and other than physically dragging the teen around, he didn’t know what to do.

“So this isn’t about that?” asked Deku, his shining wet green eyes meeting Katsuki’s who sighed.

“You’re not going to tell me, then fine” started Katsuki, his voice coming out gentler and his shoulders dropping with defeat, “I just wanted to help you Deku but I didn’t know how, alright? I thought knowing what happened would give me insight on how to help and what to do, but none of that shit matters anymore,” he closed his eyes.

“I-I miss you in class nerd, alright. I miss the annoying as hell muttering and laughing and all that other irritating shit you do,” he took a deep breath and opened his eyes to meet Deku’s again, “will you just come back to class?” he asked and when the nerd stayed silent, his eyes wide and tears finally falling silently.

“I know you still want to be a hero. The only thing holding you back is yourself” Katsuki added and at those final words Deku seemed to break and he burst into sobbing and fell to his knees, leaving Katsuki stunned and clueless at what to do.

After the teen had calmed he went upstairs to change and Katsuki still didn’t believe he had done it until Deku came to stand beside him, dressed in their school uniform, looking nervous and uncertain as he fidgeted beside him. Katsuki took it as a victory. One he could even hold over the teachers.

Just to make sure Deku didn’t change his mind on the way over to class, Katsuki walked beside him with a hand wrapped around Deku’s wrist. He opted for that over his hand as it felt too intimate and personal and that wasn’t what their friendship was. The nerd didn’t complain or make a peep until they reached the outside of their classroom door, hearing Present Mic teaching inside when Deku put on the brakes, his nerves getting the better of him. Katsuki shot him an eye roll but he could practically feel the nerd shaking in his red shoes so Katsuki let out a sigh and led the nerd away until lunch.

Once lunch was over and the rest of the class returned to find both Deku and Katsuki already in their seats, there were smiles all round, but a quick hard glare of warning to most of the class (Kaminari was either dumb or immune or both) they left him alone outside of quick greetings, keeping everything short and simple. Katsuki knew that if they overwhelmed the nerd so soon he may retreat back again.

The week went by smoothly. Deku continued to come to class and picked up on his studies again and after several days he would offer his friends warm smiles and small conversations. Katsuki could tell that everyone in the room was happy and relieved to see Deku slowly returning to his old self. He felt that a heaviness of the room was lifting and everyone was more relaxed as a whole. Aizawa nodded his thanks.

Deku still refused to participate in any of their practical hero course exercises and PE classes but it was still a huge improvement. Katsuki was confident it was only a matter of time before the nerd was itching to get back into it, so he didn’t push.

But all that peace and hard work was shattered within minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

[Paranoia – Nathan Wagner]

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday evening the class were crowded around the couches in the lounge after dinner. The TV unwatched in the background while they chatted away about the week ahead. Kastuki was sandwiched between Kirishima and Ashido as they chatted away like sparrows, but his attention was on Deku standing beside Uraraka near another couch. Katsuki could see the nerd’s smile reach his eyes and his mouth opened as he laughed at something the brunette had said. Katsuki took a deep breath, relaxing now that everything felt back on track, the way they had been before.

That was until the TV caught everyone’s attention.

Breaking news tonight, spoke up a woman news castor on the screen and everyone’s heads turned to the TV. It wasn’t uncommon for the news to cut into ad breaks with news of villains attacks and as a hero course, naturally such reports caught the attention of everyone in the room.

We come to you live from our station tonight to reveal a cover up by the nation’s most famous hero course schools and the police after video footage was sent to us anonymously.

“Oh, juicy, I wonder what this is about” squealed Ashido beside Katsuki with delight. Ever the one for gossip. Katsuki’s gut started to turn.

As many in the nation are already aware of the news of a major drugs operation bust that occurred several weeks ago, it appears that there was more going on in the underground than the police let on and the full story will horrify you.

Earlier today we received an anonymous video of footage recovered from the same drug bust operation that led to the capture of only one villain. From the footage witnessed by us here at the station today it became terrifyingly apparent that far worse deeds took place at the same underground site as the illegal drug manufacture.

Still images came up on screen beside the news castors head and Katsuki’s heart start pounding as he recognized blurry green hair in the lower corner.

It appears that the drug manufacturers also held a battle royal game on their site, streaming it for the world to see and bet on. The rules simple: only one survives.

Damn those reporters and their dramatic flair, Katsuki cursed. His eyes flicked to Deku whose eyes were wide with panic, terrified as he slowly stepped back and away from Uraraka who hadn’t noticed him moving yet, being too focused on the news. No one had noticed yet. Katsuki started to rise to his feet, slowly, casually as to not direct any attention to himself as he made an effort to reach Deku’s side.

A total of eight participants were placed in the survival game, including civilians, criminals and lesser known heroes.

Photos of each of the eight participants covered the screen and the room of students gasped as they saw Deku’s picture, a picture of his perfectly innocent face. Faces turned back to him which made Katsuki hasten his pace to reach the wide eyed teen who was still backing away and only seemed to freeze under the gazes of his peers. The attention of their classmates returned to the screen one by one as the reporter went on.

Katsuki came to Deku and reached out to him, taking his arm in his hand and pulling him closer, but Deku was in a panic and he tried to pull away, his green eyes wide with terror.

“Deku” Katsuki hissed back quietly at the teen trying to pull away from him. He wanted to get him out of the room, away from the eyes of their classmates because the moment the report ended their attention would be on him and Katsuki didn’t think the green haired teen could take it. Not right now.

“Come on” he hissed, trying to urge the teen with him, but Deku wouldn’t budge. His terror filled eyes locked on Katsuki but it was like he wasn’t seeing him. He was drowning in his own fear and pulling back against every move Katsuki made. He wanted to be subtle so throwing the smaller teen over his shoulder wasn’t going to do.

And after a bloody, quirkless, bare handed brawl, only one victor remained while the remaining seven died. Murdered.

Deku was shaking, his breaths starting to come short and fast and his eyes were growing wet. Katsuki tried to pull him away, not willing to be so gentle this time and managed to drag the teen a few feet.

Izuku Midoriya, the only survivor of the massacre, a U.A student training to be a hero.

Deku dropped to the ground so suddenly that it brought Katsuki to a halt, Deku’s arm slipping from his grip, the teen using both his arms to cover his head as he squatted on the ground, rocking on his heels. Katsuki glared around, everyone was still fixated on the TV and he squatted down beside Deku, trying to persuade him to get up, to move, to respond. To do anything.

That same student, with blood of the innocent on his hands was returned to U.A without a single charge. The police doing nothing to bring justice to the innocent participants who were brutally murdered that night for the sake of entertainment. All while U.A harbours a murderer on their school grounds without lifting a finger to reprimand their student in the slightest, potentially putting the safety and lives of their student body at risk.

Deku rolled forward to land on his knees, bending forward till his forehead touched the ground and shook his head, arms still pressed on either side, against Katsuki’s hissed words to move. The teen was trembling and crying. Katsuki was growing desperate to move him when he noticed movement and glanced up. Almost the entire class were on their feet around the couches and staring at Deku with wide, shocked eyes. A few stepped closer. Whether they thought bad or not of Deku right now, Katsuki didn’t care as he rose to his feet and put himself between them and Deku with a fierce glare on his face.

“Fuck off!” he warned them all and a few backed away. Some weren’t deterred.

“Is that what really happened?” asked Kaminari like he was in shock and crept closer. Katsuki shot him a snarl and it made the blonde teen halt. Katsuki raked his hard gaze over all of them.

Todoroki’s eyes were wide.

Uraraka’s were wet with tears.

Kirishima looked sad.

Iida stared at the ground.

Mineta’s jaw was hanging open.

Yaoyorozu held a hand over her mouth.

All around were expressions of pity and shock and sadness and Katsuki knew the nerd didn’t need that shit right now.

Katsuki stepped back, nudging Deku with the back of his heel, trying to make him move when the front doors shot open and Aizawa stormed in, All Might following behind. They both looked out of breath from running to the dorm. Aizawa took in the scene within a second and then barked for everyone to go to their rooms.

“But it’s not even late” Kaminari had to audacity to say back.

“Bedrooms, Now!” yelled their homeroom teacher and they all stepped into action and walked at a quick pace to their dorms. Katsuki remained standing before Deku, glaring at anyone who got too close. When it was just the four of them left in the room, the pair of teachers rushed over and Katsuki, regrettably, stepped back to allow them to reach Deku, who was still sobbing on the floor and seeing him so broken made Katsuki’s chest ache.

It took minutes of kneeling, quiet words and coaxing for Aizawa to calm Deku enough for him to stand again and led him to the couch. All Might looked helplessly lost in the situation, his thin face riddled with worry for his student, and the man busied himself with fetching a glass of water for the green haired teen.

Deku took the glass of water in his hands but made no move to drink it as the teachers hovered over him and Katsuki lingered on the outside, not knowing what to do, but not wanting to leave either.

Katsuki stood too far away to hear the words the raven haired teacher spoke to Deku and the teen only stared off at the ground with vacant eyes and occasionally responded with the shake of his head. After several minutes Aizawa helped the teen up to head for Deku’s room. Katsuki stepped in, taking Deku’s arm over his shoulder and wrapping an arm around the teen’s waist as he silently took him from the teacher to lead upstairs, both teachers coming along.

Katsuki dropped Deku on the edge of his All Might spread bed and went to step back as Aizawa came forward when Deku reached out, grabbing a hold of Katsuki’s wrist with a desperate vice like grip and Katsuki stopped. He threw the other teen a questioning look over his shoulder but Deku kept his head down. Katsuki didn’t fight against the grip and remained standing where he was while Aizawa shared some more quiet words with Deku before he stood, dark eyes locking with Katsuki’s and he gave him a nod.

“Midoriya will be excused from classes for the next few days if he doesn’t feel like attending” explained Aizawa, “that extends to you also” Katsuki blinked with surprise back at the teacher but didn’t let his expression falter otherwise.

“Take all the time you boys need” finished Aizawa and with another small nod, turned to leave.

All Might had been lingering by the door, surprisingly unfazed by the amount of All Might merch filling the room. He stepped closer, kneeling beside Deku and sharing a few quick comforting words to his young successor before parting ways with a hand to Katsuki’s shoulder and a grateful smile before leaving the room alone to the two teens.

As soon as the door closed behind the teachers, Deku was crying again, his body racking with sobs that he tried to muffle behind his other hand while he clung to Katsuki. The teen was at a loss. Comforting was not something that came naturally to him, nor was empathy but he could feel for Deku a little at least.

After the file Aizawa had shared with him, Katsuki had begun to piece everything together in his head of what had happened that weekend but hearing the words said aloud was something else.

Murdered.

Katsuki had felt something deep inside him break at the words coming through loud and clear on the tv and he was hit with full understanding of why Deku had been so off. Why he had wanted to quit trying to be a hero. In Deku’s mind, knowing well enough how the boy he had known almost his entire life thought, how could he be a hero if he had killed? But surely, Deku out of everyone would know that he wasn’t to blame. That it wasn’t his fault. From the report Katsuki knew that no one in that sick battle royale game had been able to use their quirks so realistically it was a miracle that Deku had managed to survive at all, and even after winning, he almost hadn’t.

Katsuki was furious and he was glad that Deku was shaking so much from his sobs so he wouldn’t feel Katsuki’s own body trembling with the anger that boiled up inside him. There had been no mention on the news report about how Deku was as much a victim as those that had died. There was no mention of them being drugged to the point of acting so violently out of sheer panic. No mention of how Deku had been discarded and left to die after the game had ended. No mention of how those criminals had done the same thing over and over again. It was only now that the incident had been handpicked for them and involved a U.A student that the media had jumped all over it so hungrily. The stupid media didn’t even have all the facts of the case before they showed it to the country. No doubt the school and the police would be rushing to resolve this.

Deku’s grip tightened and Katsuki snapped himself out of his snarling inner thoughts and turned his attention back to the breaking teen and let himself melt. He did what he felt he should have done long ago.

Katsuki pulled his wrist from Deku’s grip and moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside the crying teen, wrapping an arm around him to pull him into his shoulder and he stayed there, not asking any questions or wasting his breath with kind words that he knew would never reach the teen’s ears. He stayed there, being something solid for Deku to hold onto and cry against until his sobbing quieted into soft chokes and his shaking dampened to soft trembling. As Deku’s head rested on Katsuki’s shoulder and with a long deep breath Katsuki leaned his cheek against the mess of green hair and closed his eyes. It was well past his bed time now and he felt exhausted from the drama of it all but he couldn’t bring himself to be mad at the nerd for his breakdown. For once Katsuki felt it was deserved.

Deku had stilled but when Katsuki shifted the greenette came back to life, clinging to Katsuki’s shirt like a life line. Wordlessly, Katsuki pried Deku from him but didn’t leave like the green haired teen had feared. Instead Katsuki moved to the door to switch off the light and returned to the bed, gently pushing Deku across it to the wall side and the confused, tired teen complied as Katsuki moved to lay down on the other side and pulled the All Might cover over them both.

To begin with both boys kept apart but it wasn’t long before Deku wriggled his way closer to Katsuki’s side and he allowed it. He swallowed back the usual anger that would erupt whenever the greenette was too close to him but he knew he needed this. Deku needed him there to help ground him and the be that familiar presence in his life while everything else was falling apart and soon enough the nerd was sleeping soundly from the mental exhaustion, his cheeks pressed to Katsuki’s shoulder and his hands balled into fists in front of his face and knees curled up to touch Katsuki’s hips. And he allowed it.

Katsuki found it hard to sleep, his mind too busy racing about everything he had learned and he didn’t know whether to feel enraged or sick or disgusted or scared for the nerd. He raised his free hand to his face, holding back an audile groan as he struggled to come to terms with Deku. His mind raced with thoughts of how Deku must have felt. Katsuki hadn’t been allowed to see the footage but he could almost see it clearly in his head.

Deku drugged and out of his mind with fear.

Deku thrown into a room with others who were just as afraid.

It would only take one person to snap first, to attack another out of their mind with fear for their own life to kick start the sick game.

Katsuki recalled how beaten Deku had been. He imagined the others jumping on him. Attacking him. Beating him. Biting, scratching, chocking, the sounds of bones breaking. Katsuki tried to shake the thoughts away but he couldn’t.

He could picture it so well.

Deku fighting back.

Deku beating the others who came at him, or maybe he went for them first. A sickening thought.

Deku breaking skulls with his fists. Beating them repeatably until their shattered under him.

Katsuki remembered how battered the smaller teen’s knuckles had been. The medical report stating that bone fragments had been picked from them. Bones of the other victims.

The thoughts were sickening and terrifying and Katsuki had to stare up at the ceiling through the dark and remind himself over and over again that Deku was the victim here. Deku would never hurt anyone that badly if he had been in control. Katsuki reminded himself how lucky it was that Deku had survived. How happy he was that Deku had survived. Katsuki rolled onto his side to face the sleeping nerd and draped an arm over him. Feeling his warmth. His breathing. His heart beat and he closed his eyes to focus on just that. Deku was the victim. Deku needed him. He wanted Deku to be okay, to survive this experience and come out of it stronger like he always did.

But most of all, Katsuki couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that all his hard work getting the nerd to come out of his shell again had been shattered within minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning, Katsuki woke to the silent buzzing of his phone that he had dropped onto the floor beside Deku’s bed the night before and he sleepily pulled away from the nerd curled into his chest to reach for it. It had fallen silent long before he got to it. A text from Kirishima telling him to come downstairs. Aizawa had summoned the entire class excluding Deku. With a tired sigh, Katsuki slinked out of the bed doing his best not to wake Deku as he snuck away to see what the fuss was about.

Katsuki found the entire class on the ground floor all standing around the foyer by the front doors, Aizawa stood before them all with a stern gaze. All Might and the principle stood a little behind the home room teacher.

Aizawa’s dark eyes locked onto Katsuki as he came down the last few steps and stalked his way to the rear of the crowd with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Aizawa had given him permission to skip a few days of classes to help Deku get over this latest hurdle and he hadn’t gotten nearly enough sleep so Katsuki was not pleased about being awake now.

Kirishima was at the rear of the cluster with Kaminari and the red haired teen turned to face Katsuki as he came up beside them silently. Kirishima’s eyes looked Katsuki up and down with a confused look and Katsuki shot him a glare.

“Why aren’t you in uniform?” asked the red head.

“I just woke up” muttered back Katsuki as Aizawa began to address the group, starting off with the report that had aired the previous evening. Kirishima frowned with concern back to Katsuki.

“You weren’t in your room. Where were you?” he asked and Katsuki had no reason to lie to the least annoying and most understanding of his friends.

“I was with the nerd” he sighed back tiredly and stretched his neck. Kirishima only nodded in understanding and turned his attention back to their homeroom teacher. Kaminari hadn’t taken any notice of their conversation thankfully.

“We are well aware that what the news said is hard to take,” spoke Aizawa to the class, “but important facts were not accounted for and it is only right that we make things clear to all of you about what occurred,” his tired gaze raked across the room, “the criminals behind the incident were testing mind-altering drugs on those they had abducted, including Midoriya. You all know Midoriya well and I trust would know that he would never intentionally harm anyone so severely” he took a deep breath, not wasting time with getting into too much detail. Aizawa was here to make a point.

“You must all remember that Midoriya is a victim here just as much as everyone else involved and it could have just as easily have been Midoriya who didn’t come back after that weekend” his eyes rolled over them all again, challenging them but no one spoke.

“Midoriya has gone through a hard time and is still recovering. It is vital that all of you as his classmates stand beside him and treat him no differently than you did before. Got it?” he narrowed his eyes and there were nods all around.

“Right,” sighed Aizawa pulling his hands from his pockets, “I have allowed Midoriya a few days off for now. I expect you all to be supportive of him. None of this was his fault. Any questions?” from his tone it was obvious Aizawa did not want to start a Q&A session with the class but had too.

“Sir, what about the other classes?” asked Yaoyorozu with a hand raised.

“Every class is being told the same thing as you this morning by their own homeroom teachers” replied Aizawa tiredly.
“Next”

There were several more questions about the incident but Katsuki had tuned out. He already knew more than the extras surrounding him so he had no reason to listen and with a nod to Kirishima, he turned and left.

Katsuki didn’t return to Deku’s room, feeling awkward about the idea of just slipping back into the nerd’s bed to sleep, as much as the idea appealed to him. Plus he didn’t want to wake him so Katsuki went to his room and gathered a change of clothes to shower downstairs and by the time he was done, the dorm was empty.

Katsuki returned to Deku’s room to rouse the teen, who grumbled and groaned in complaint until Katsuki had literally dragged him off the bed by the ankle and coaxed him the rest of the way downstairs for breakfast. Katsuki made eggs, sunny side up just the way the nerd liked it, while Deku sat on a stool by the counter, leaning his head on the cool surface. They ate, Deku hardly touching his food and only managed half due to Katsuki’s glares and once he was sick of watching the nerd poke at the cold food, Katsuki shooed him away with he orders to shower while he cleaned up. Katsuki ate the remaining cold egg rather than wasting it.

Deku didn’t shower and Katsuki had to storm up to his room, finding that the nerd had just collapsed back onto his bed rather than gathering his clothes. Katsuki riffled through the draws, pulling out an assortment of clothes, pulled the nerd off of the bed, threw the clothes into his arms and pushed him out the door all the while cursing and huffing. Deku emerged twenty minutes later with his hair still damp and Katsuki rolled his eyes at how pathetic he was being and pulled him down to sit on the floor in front of the couch, Katsuki sitting on the couch behind him, a leg on either side of the almost lifeless teen while he dried his hair with a towel.

Like the night before Katsuki didn’t ask any questions and just let the relaxing day pass them over. He put on an old All Might movie that he knew Deku liked and got about making lunch for them both. After the movie they watched a couple of documentaries on All Might and some other famous heroes and Katsuki was just happy that Deku’s eyes were focused on the screen rather than staring off at nothing. The movie had bored Katsuki, having seen it a hundred times when he was younger and just as much as a little fan boy as Deku was but the documentaries were more to his liking and he laid across to couch while they watched. Deku eventually moved from the floor to sit on the couch and Katsuki lifted his legs to let him sit before resting his legs back down across Deku’s lap. The other teen didn’t complain at all while they watched.

It was nearing the end of the school day after the third documentary and Katsuki got up. He knew the nerd wouldn’t want to be around when the rest of the class flooded back in and instead coaxed the nerd up and got him to follow him back to Deku’s room, ordering the teen to pick up his workbooks and then leading him back to Katsuki’s room where he spent the late afternoon studying with Deku. It was a win win in his mind. He could keep Deku comfortable by keeping him out of sight and allowing himself to study and for the nerd to catch up as he was still behind after missing so many classes.

Dinner time came and Katsuki left Deku to study in his room while he made them both something to take back up with him. While he cooked Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero crowded around him in the kitchen asking how his day with Deku had been with playful teasing and Katsuki didn’t offer them a response beyond a glare before they shot into discussing their day around him.

“I took down notes for you” commented Kirishima.

“Thanks,” replied Katsuki as he pulled his meal from the heated stove and Kirishima only gaped in surprise at the word. The other two loud mouths had wandered off thankfully.
“Can you bring them too my room?” asked Katsuki while he got two bowls out. It didn’t go unnoticed by Kirishima.

“Your room? You still with Midoriya?” he asked

“Yeah. He’s there too. I’m making him study since he’s falling behind” groaned back Katsuki.

“Dude, that’s cool and all but are you sure you want me coming over. Would he be okay with that?” asked the red head cautiously. Katsuki rolled his eyes.

“Duh, he can’t keep hiding though and as long as you’re not weird about it he should be fine” scoffed Katsuki as he deposited his cookware into the sink to clean.
“The nerd needs it. I’m not having him going backwards on me. Plus you can explain the notes to both of us” Kirishima perked up at being so trusted.

“Sure man” beamed the red head brightly, “half an hour good?”

“Sure”

“Cool. See you then” sharp teeth continued to smile at him as the red head turned to leave and Katsuki carried dinner up to his room.

When Katsuki entered he froze with surprise in the doorway. Pleasant surprise. The nerd was mumbling to himself while he tried to solve a math equation and Katsuki felt a wave of relief at the normalcy of it.

Dinner done and math work completed, the two moved onto the next subject, English, when there was a knock at the door that made Deku flinch and Katsuki called for Kirishima to enter. Deku was closest to the door as they both sat cross-legged on the floor opposite each other and Katsuki could see how tense the other teen was, his expression one of frozen panic as Kirishima shut the door behind him, notebook in hand. Katsuki only hoped that he wasn’t pushing the nerd too far too soon.

“Yo, Midoriya” greeted the red head happily as he approached and joined them on the floor, “how ya been? I brought notes from today’s classes. You can both use them” grinned Kirishima, not even waiting for Midoriya to answer his question and seeming unfazed when he didn’t.

“T-thanks” offered back the greenette and Katsuki released a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding.

Kirishima ran through the lesson notes and lightened the atmosphere with his constant smiling and talking as he moved from school subjects to school antics that even made the corners of the nerd’s lips turn up in an almost indistinguishable smile and Katsuki felt another wave of relief and gratitude towards his friend who just made everything feel right and normal. Kirishima didn’t mention the media that were all over the story they were calling a school scandal. He didn’t mention the flock of irritating reporters camping outside the U.A walls and Katsuki was grateful for that. Kirishima at least had tact and Deku managed to relax and get through all of Kirishima’s notes before the kind red head got up to leave with a bright smile.

“I’ll copy down more notes for you tomorrow too” offered Kirishima as he opened the door, “hope to see you back in class soon” he called to Deku and when the greenette turned to face him, Kirishima shot him a thumbs up and Deku nodded in return before the door closed.

By the time Kirishima had left, it was only a few minutes away from eight and Katsuki was determined to get his lost hours of sleep back as he began to pick up the work from the floor and stand. Deku followed suit only to remain standing awkwardly holding his notebook against his chest while Katsuki dropped his items onto his desk. Katsuki turned to face the nerd.

“You wanna stay?” he asked with a sigh and threw a hand gesture towards the bed. Deku followed his motion and eyes opened wide. Katsuki knew the nerd. He knew that although his small interactions with Kirishima had been positive, that they had taken a lot out of him. Deku was forcing himself, which was fine, but Katsuki knew that being so early, as the others called it, majority of the class would still be awake and if Deku left, he ran the chance of running into them.

“I shouldn’t” replied Deku quietly.

“Shut up and get in bed” huffed back Katsuki and Deku turned around, flustered.

“God, you’re such a nerd” sighed Katsuki, taking a step forward and taking the notebook from Deku’s hands and putting it on the desk with his own.

“Do what you want,” he sighed as he opened up his draws to pull a change of clothes out, “you can stay in here if you want till everyone else goes to bed, or you can stay overnight. I don’t care but I’m going to sleep so don’t wake me up. Got it?” he shot a look to Deku, who’s back was still to him but he could see his hair move as he nodded.

Katsuki changed while Deku was turned and would have offered the nerd a change of clothes if he hadn’t already been wearing track pants and a loose tee. Katsuki figured he would sleep fine in what he was already wearing as he slid into his own comfortable bed with a sigh.

“Turn off the light” Katsuki said and Deku practically flinched at his words before he did as he was told and the room feel dark.

Katsuki didn’t fall asleep right away, remaining aware of what Deku was doing. From what he could hear in the dark he guessed the nerd hadn’t moved from where he had been standing and had shifted to sit on the floor in the same spot. He could hear Deku’s nervous fidgeting in the dark and rolled over to face the wall. He had been close to dozing off minutes later when he became aware to the mattress shifting behind him as Deku crawled in and although Deku wasn’t as desperate as he had been the night before, they didn’t touch but Katsuki could feel the nerd close enough to him to feel his body heat as he fell back to sleep. This time he didn’t get woken by any texts or calls or alarms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

They didn’t share a bed again after that night and the few days they had off were spent very much like the first, the only difference being Katsuki putting in the time for some exercise and a work out and he even encouraged Deku to do some too which was a good feeling. It was science or some shit that exercising made you feel better. Kirishima continued to join them in the evenings to study and even to eat with them and after that first study session, Deku didn’t seem as tense around the red head anymore. Sero joined them a few nights in and Kaminari started to complain about not being invited to their study parties, as the blonde put it, and even Deku’s friends started to pout and whine that they weren’t studying with Deku.

Although Deku tensed up at each new person, he would quickly relax again as conversations carried on as normal and even Kaminari managed to not say anything dumb when he crashed their study session until Katsuki had barked at them all (excluding Deku) to get out of his room. Deku would offer small, tense smiles, nods and a few words here and there which Katsuki took to be a good sign. He had been so worried that the news report had shattered all of the work he had been doing with Deku to build him back up and he was so relieved to see that he hadn’t been pushed back to square one.

By Friday evening they had moved their study session to the lounge and although Deku stuck close to Katsuki, the nerd seemed mostly alright as everyone carried on around him like normal which is exactly what he needed. After Kaminari and Sero came out with snacks it really did feel more like a study party than a proper session and Katsuki could only grumble and roll his eyes. He knew no studying was actually going to happen now.

Deku hardly spoke but his friends were still happy to see him and after some time Uraraka managed to coax Deku away from Katsuki to join her, Iida, Todoroki and Tsuyu as they actually did study. Katsuki was both glad and not so glad to see the nerd go.

Come the weekend, Deku spent less time hiding away in his room (although he still spent at least half the day in there) and some time down on the ground level with his friends, offering them small smiles and nods whenever they spoke to him. It didn’t escape Katsuki’s attention when his friend’s turned their attention away and Deku’s small smile would drop away. Katsuki clicked his tongue against his teeth. It was progress but Katsuki still wanted more. He reprimanded himself. These things take time and he shouldn’t be so impatient. For now he was aiming to have them both back in class on Monday. That seemed obtainable enough.

Monday and Deku was back in class. His smiles were still strained, his answers and conversations still short, his mumbling still rare but Katsuki was feeling on the happier side that his efforts were paying off. Deku still sat out on the classes practical sessions but the teachers didn’t mind. He went back to attending his counseling sessions having held off on them over the last week and Katsuki continued to spend his evenings studying with the nerd. Sometimes with others and sometimes with just the two of them, which Katsuki preferred. He didn’t mind when Kirishima or Todoroki joined as they would both buckle down and actually get work done unlike the rest of the extras (Iida wasn’t terrible either but was too loud at times when he decided to discuss their work). Deku was eating better and would exercise a little throughout the week which Katsuki took as a win compared to the nothing he had been doing prior to their week off together in the dorm.

The two teens had a meeting with All Might and the mentor was thrilled to know that Deku was attending classes again and wisely did not push his successor about their practical classes. All Might even shot Katsuki a thumbs up as they left afterwards.

It was a good week and was about to get better (depending on who you asked) as the class had prepared a party for the Saturday evening to celebrate a birthday. Katsuki was not one of the students who thought a party was the high light of the weekend and although Deku agreed to attend when he was asked, his smile wavered a bit at the idea.

Saturday evening and the entire class, along with majority of class B as well as Shinso, were crowding the lounge and kitchen area as they talked and laughed and played games. Katsuki didn’t even know who’s birthday it was and a few students had smuggled in alcohol which had set Iida off like a fire alarm until someone distracted him or whatever. On the little coffee table between the couches, amongst the bowls and bags of snacks were a mix of bottles of vodka and gin and an assortment of those miniature alcohol bottles that Ashido and Hagakure had called cute. Katsuki however stuck to coffee. An unusual choice of drink for a party, but if anyone expected him to stay up a few extra hours for this shit, caffeine is what he needed.

Katsuki stood off to the side with Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero buzzing around him like bees while they drank and whined that Katsuki wasn’t joining them. Katsuki only sneered back at their complaining faces. Kirishima was the first to give up pushing the topic of alcohol. While his friends carried on around him Katsuki kept tabs on Deku who was sitting between Todoroki and Uraraka on a couch while Ashido nagged them to play a game with her and some others. Uraraka seemed a little flustered but eager to play while Deku and Todoroki looked sceptical. Katsuki picked up the name Truth and Dare through the crowd.

A little over an hour later Katsuki was headed for the kitchen, weaving through a few clusters of mixed students. His half consumed coffee had gone cold and he was on his way to make a new one when someone bumped into him from behind and the mug escaped his grip and fell to the floor, shattering and spilling its contents. Katsuki turned on his heel with a snarl to face whoever had knocked him when he faced an apologetic looking Deku and his snarl died back.

“S-sorry Kacchan” stammered the nerd and Katsuki could only frown back as Deku ducked past him and knelt to pick up the pieces. Katsuki scoffed before turning to do the same.

“Ouch” hissed Deku as he pulled his hand back blood welling up on his finger where he had cut it on a sharp piece.

“Be more careful” hissed Katsuki and shuffled across to shoulder the nerd away, “leave it to me if you can’t even manage this without injuring yourself” he scolded to smaller teen and Deku gave him an uncomfortable frown and stood.

“I’ll make you a new one” offered the nerd.

“Don’t bother” huffed back Katsuki while he still picked at pieces on the ground.

“No, I’ll make you a new one. No sugar right” Deku spoke back and didn’t wait for Katsuki to reply before heading to the kitchen.

Katsuki followed Deku into the kitchen a moment later to deposit the broken pieces into the bin and retrieved a rag to mop up the liquid. He shot the back of Deku’s head an annoyed glare as he deposited the rag in the sink and headed back to the party, his friends having claimed a couch and Katsuki took a seat beside them.

Deku returned a few minutes later with a fresh coffee for Katsuki and a bandage on his finger. Katsuki accepted the drink without a word and Deku offered no words in return before he left to return to sit beside Todoroki, no doubt enjoying the other teen’s silence since Uraraka had left them to play a game. The coffee wasn’t too terrible though the nerd still couldn’t make it the way Katsuki liked it. He got through a third of it before he decided he didn’t want anymore.

Despite the caffeine, Katsuki was still one of the first to leave the party for bed.

Come Monday, Deku went to class like normal and he was starting to act more like his old self. His smiles were more genuine and Katsuki caught him mumbling more than once throughout the day and although he had missed the background noise, he had still yelled at the nerd to shut up. Things were feeling more normal.

Both of the hero course classes were fairly understanding of the incident that Deku had been involved in and Katsuki couldn’t decide if Deku had grown an extra thick skin lately or was just oblivious to the amount of dirty looks being sent his way by other students throughout the school. More than once Katsuki had been following close behind and sent them away with a snarl. If it got to Deku, he didn’t show it.

For a change of pace that night, Katsuki meet Deku in the nerd’s room to study after dinner, both of them settling on the floor by the bed. Katsuki, as he always did whenever he entered any room, gave the area a quick scan over when he picked up on something different. On the desk beside Deku’s still hardly used sleeping pills was another prescription container.

“Another one?” he asked and Deku followed his gaze to the desk and back.

“Oh, yeah” replied the nerd like it wasn’t something important.

“You actually take this one at least?” Katsuki asked. He had noticed that this newer container was already emptier than the sleeping pills that Deku stupidly refused to take most nights.

“Oh, ah, yeah” he replied, lifting his gaze from the papers to Katsuki, “I take that one everyday”

“What is it?” he pushed curiously with narrowing eyes.

“Uh,” Deku diverted his gaze and lifted a hand to rub at the back of his neck out of embarrassment, “antidepressants” Katsuki’s eyes widened a little and he was struck with both understanding and annoyance.

“I finally handed in the questionnaire the counsellor wanted me to do and well, that’s what came from it” explained the nerd, but Katsuki was hardly listening while he battled to not lose to his anger.

Ever since the news report Katsuki had thought that he was the one who had been pushing Deku out of his shell, making him better and in the beginning yeah, it had been him, but this time when Deku seemed to bounce back so quick and returned to class it wasn’t due to him and that stung.

“I want to stop taking them as soon as I can though” sighed Deku, having not noticed that Katsuki had stopped listening and he snapped his attention back to the nerd.

“Why’s that?”

“Well,” Deku’s soft green eyes met Katsuki’s again, “I kind of want to know how much of a difference they even make,” Katsuki narrowed his eyes and Deku flailed his arms. As much as Katsuki hated the thought of Deku depending on pills to smile and the feeling of progress they took from him, stopping them for such a reason seemed stupid.

“They also make me feel, you know, weak” added the nerd a little more sadly.

“Huh?” grunted Katsuki

“Physically I mean,” explained Deku and Katsuki huffed. He got it. All medications carried the risk of side effects.

“Is that why you still sit out on PE?” asked Katsuki, turning his attention down to his own papers at last.

“Kind of, yeah” replied the nerd and the conversation died there as Deku followed Katsuki’s lead and turned his attention back to their study. To Katsuki it also explained why Deku didn’t drink any alcohol on the Saturday night, although admittedly he knew Deku had never been one for alcohol either.

 

 

 

 

 

[I’ll Be Good – Jaymes Young]

 

 

 

 

 

1am Wednesday morning Katsuki had woken to a nightmare as he had watched Deku screaming and shaking with fear as he beat others to death and the bad dream had left him shaken. He still hadn’t seen the footage and Katsuki couldn’t decide if that was for the best or not. He was tired of his imagination running wild and he thought that if he were able to see the real footage it would shut his mind up to a degree. Or it could be so much worse. Either way, Katsuki slipped out of his bed and shuffled down to the kitchen to get a drink in the dim security light when he found Deku with his head in the fridge.

“Kacchan, what are you doing up?” he asked as he closed the fridge door and looked Katsuki’s way. Even in the dim lighting Katsuki could see that Deku had been crying recently. He frowned at the nerd.

“What about you?” Katsuki shot back, moving forward to open the fridge and Deku stepped back to make room for him.

“You still not taking those sleeping pills?” he asked with narrowed eyes after retrieving a bottle of water for himself and closing the fridge. Deku gave a small nervous smile.

“I-I told you already I don’t want to rely on the stuff” he explained.

“From the looks of it you hardly use the stuff to start with” Katsuki scoffed back as he tipped his head back to drink. Katsuki could feel Deku’s eyes on him and when he returned the gaze he saw sadness in them.

“Bad dream?” Katsuki asked more seriously and Deku nodded.

“You too?” Deku asked back quietly.

“Yeah” sighed Katsuki and took another swig.

“Did you want to talk about it?” Deku asked with a small uncertain smile and gestured to the couches in the dark. Katsuki’s eyes followed the gesture to the couches then back. He narrowed his eyes to the nerd.

“You first” he smirked. Deku pressed his smile into a thinner version of itself and fiddled with his own bottle in his hands.

“There’s nothing to hide anymore” added Katsuki with a serious note and Deku nodded. Everything had been made public now so Deku had nothing left to hide about it.

“Sure” replied Deku and turned for the couches. Katsuki took another gulp of water and followed.

The two sat on either end of the couch. Deku leaning against an arm with his knees up, facing Katsuki who leaned on the opposite arm on an angle. One leg on and the other hanging off the side. Deku seemed willing to share, but Katsuki took his knees to be barrier and he respected the distance Deku was asking for. He didn’t push. He simply propped an elbow on the couch arm and rested his cheek against his fist while he waited for the nerd to speak. Almost a minute of the nerd fidgeting with the bottle in his hands passed before he opened his mouth.

“I-I have bad dreams most nights” Deku admitted without looking to Katsuki and he only hummed in response. Deku’s eyes flicked up to Katsuki and then away again.

“Different things, but always from those few days” Deku went on uncomfortably and Katsuki held his tongue. As much as he wanted to ask questions to push the nerd on or bark at him to spit it out, he didn’t.

“Sometimes of the fighting,” he paused as he unscrewed and re-screwed the bottle cap, “sometimes of the hallucinations” Katsuki perked up at the mention of that.

“What was it tonight?” Katsuki pushed gently, keeping his tone neutral.

“T-the hallucinations” replied Deku, his fidgeting increasing.

“Were they bad?” Katsuki added a shred of gentleness to his question and sat up a little straighter, dropping his arm back down. Deku pressed his lips together in the dim lighting provided from the kitchen and nodded. He lowered his head to hide his eyes behind his hair.

“Did you want to talk about them?” asked Katsuki again, making his voice so gentle that it was closer to a whisper.

“I uh” stammered back the teen, “they made me see horrible things” Katsuki picked up the quiver in Deku’s voice. He waited patiently while Deku opened and closed his mouth several times like he wanted to speak but the words continued to evade him, all the while breaking down more and more into sobs.

Katsuki shifted, letting his one leg on the couch lay flat, almost reaching Deku’s feet while he curled more and more into himself.

“Deku” spoke up Katsuki to catch the teen’s attention and Deku closed his mouth to look up to him with tear filled eyes and Katsuki made a simple gesture. He opened his arms in silent invitation and Deku let a sob shake him again before he lowered his own legs and moved to crawl forward across the couch until he gently crashed into Katsuki’s chest. His shirt quickly grew wet from the tears.

Katsuki wrapped his arms over the smaller teen’s back and rested his chin on top of the mess of green hair and stayed silent while Deku cried into him, his body shaking from the amount of emotion contained inside.

“I-I can still see them like they are real” sobbed Deku as he clung to Katsuki’s damp shirt like his life depended on it, “w-when I close my eyes I-I can still see it and smell the place” he cried openly, “I can still feel it” Deku curled in on himself as much as he could with Katsuki around him.

“I can still feel it,” he gasped, “I can still feel what it felt like for my fists to hit them. To-“ he cut himself off as he gagged on his words and Katsuki tightened his hold around him in hopes of comforting him.

“Why was it me?” asked the nerd out loud and Katsuki narrowed his eyes at the dim room around them., “why was it me who survived?” his body trembled from another wave of sobs

“Shut it you idiot” breathed Katsuki into the mess of hair tickling his face, “you don’t have to push yourself” Deku hummed back in his arms and they stayed like that as the minutes ticked by until Deku’s shaking stopped and his sobs quieted. They stayed like that until Deku’s breathing evened out and Katsuki closed his eyes.

Katsuki was rudely woken hours later when he was poked in the shoulder and he opened one eye to glare at the one who dared to touch him only to find the face of Todoroki staring at him curiously.

“Bakugo, it’s not like you to be sleeping down here” remarked Todoroki and Katsuki’s eyebrow twitched back at him.

“What’s it to you?” Katsuki snarled back then froze when Todoroki raised a finger to his own lips, his heterochronic eyes flicked down and Katsuki’s eyes followed to find Deku still sleeping on his chest.

“I won’t ask” commented Todoroki, “but I would suggest moving before Iida wakes up, which should be soon, otherwise you won’t hear the end of it”  Todoroki lifted a juice box to his lips and sucked through the straw while Katsuki silently fumed at that damn near expressionless face that always managed to set him off with how annoying it was for him to try to read.

“What’s the time?” growled Katsuki, even more annoyed when Todoroki didn’t even bat an eye at his foul mood.

“Just past six” he replied simply and then turned to leave for the kitchen.

It was well known that Todoroki was usually up early. Katsuki would spot him often somewhere on the ground floor when he got back from his usual early morning work out and he also knew that Iida was always up and downstairs for orange juice right on seven. Of course though, Katsuki had left his phone back in his room and it was probably going off right now without him there to shut it up.

Katsuki lifted his head and quickly looked around. The ground floor was empty aside from Todoroki who was setting about making himself some breakfast. He turned his attention back to the sleeping nerd and poked him on the cheek to wake him. What he had forgotten was how explosive Deku had become after the incident and the teen shot awake immediately, his palms pressing down on Katsuki’s gut with the force of Deku raising his body as quickly as possible. Green sparks and all. The nerd lashed out a hand towards Katsuki’s head and he only just managed to shift it out of the way in time to avoid a hit to the face. Katsuki pushed back against Deku, forcing him off the side of the couch and he fell to the floor in a heap.

“K-Kacchan?” squeaked the nerd from below while Katsuki was on his feet on the couch, ready to fight if need be but Deku only blinked back up at him with confusion and Katsuki let his shoulders relax with a long breath.

“Fuck Deku” he breathed, “I help you last night and that’s the thanks I get” though Katsuki’s words lacked his usual anger. If anything he was more annoyed that he had forgotten Deku would react like that and was washed over with relief that he had avoided the hit.

Deku untangled himself from the floor and shot to his feet while Katsuki stepped down from the couch. He started spilling apologies profusely and Katsuki waved them away. He should have expected it and he couldn’t blame Deku for it. Not entirely. Todoroki just watched from the kitchen without a word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Both Katsuki and Deku were dead tired for the school day and when it came to PE class and everyone was instructed to pair up for sparring, Katsuki opted to step out for a change and sat on the sidelines with Deku. Without the nerd participating their would be a student left out regardless unless they paired with Aizawa and no one wanted that. Normally Katsuki would have been up for the challenge but not today. He was too tired for it.

“You’re not going to spar Kacchan?” asked Deku, lifting his head as Katsuki approached and slumped down beside him with a sigh.

“Nah, the rest of those losers need the practice more than I do” Katsuki huffed back and Deku turned his gaze back to the sparring pairs with a small smile.

“Don’t you miss it?” asked Katsuki.

“Huh?”

“Doing that shit” Katsuki threw a hand to the sparring.

“I guess” replied Deku, looking down thoughtfully.

“We could” offered Katsuki.

“Oh, ah, thanks Kacchan, but I don’t really feel up for it,” stammered back Deku with a sheepish smile, “physically” he added

“Right” scoffed back Katsuki recalling how the pills made Deku feel. Deku fidgeted with his hands beside him. But he figured it wasn't just physically. 

“So what, you think I don’t know how to hold back?” grumbled Katsuki as he crossed his arms. Deku turned to blink at him before a grin spread across his face and Katsuki narrowed his eyes.

“I know you can’t” spoke Deku as he broke into laughter and Katsuki gritted his teeth and unfolded his arms to shove the nerd over. Deku fell to his side from where he had been sitting but continued to laugh which irked Katsuki till he was on him. Deku laughed and flailed his arms while Katsuki tried to catch them till he held Deku’s wrists firmly in his grip and snarled down at the nerd but when Deku looked back up at him, his eyes cracking open to show the green behind them, his mouth parted in an open smile and his face flushed while he caught his breath Katsuki couldn’t hold the snarl on his face anymore as it melted away.

Either way he looked at it, Katsuki won the brief wrestling match and moved back to sit against the wall while Deku moved back to sit up right beside him, still smiling. Katsuki watched the class sparring while Deku’s smile faded away to something smaller and sadder.

“Hey Kacchan” he piped up and Katsuki looked to him out of the corner of his eye, “can we study together tonight?” he asked and Katsuki noticed him fidget with his hands again, “just the two of us”

“Sure” Katsuki answered back. Deku smiled to him again before Katsuki turned his attention back to the sparring. He would have a few things to tell Kirishima later to correct his posture and moves. And the rest of the PE session went by in comfortable silence.

The school day ended. The class went back to the dorm where everyone showered and ate dinner and Katsuki had a quick mock sparring session with Kirishima outside to correct a few sloppy moves the red head had made during class before he headed back in and up to his room. Katsuki sent a quick text to Deku to let him know that was done and free to study. Although Katsuki was tired enough to sleep right then and there he waited for the minute it took for Deku to knock on his door and come in, settling on the floor opposite each other like they usually did to work through their notes and homework together.

Deku wasn’t stupid, not when it came to actual school work that it. As far as Katsuki was concerned, Deku was plenty dumb elsewhere, so he often wondered what study the nerd even needed help with, but Katsuki had quickly pushed those thoughts away after the nerd had caught up on all the school work he had missed and now, Katsuki just enjoyed their time together. It had started out with Katsuki just trying to connect with he nerd and help build him back up enough to come back to class and now it was one of his favourite times of the day, when they did study together at least. He enjoyed the comfortable silence while they worked.

The silence was broken by Katsuki’s phone buzzing and he picked it up to look at it before rolling his eyes and growling. Deku looked to him curiously.

“I’ll be back” grumbled Katsuki as he stood from the floor and retrieved a study book from his desk and walked past Deku to the door, “Shitty Hair wants his book back” Deku simply nodded as Katsuki left. When Katsuki returned several minutes later, finding that Kirishima was actually on the ground floor and not in his room next door, Deku was working diligently on his school work and simply looked up with a small smile as greeting and Katsuki settled back down with a huff to complete his own work.

“You must be tired” commented Deku and Katsuki lifted his head to look to the nerd, who’s green eyes flicked over Katsuki’s shoulder then back again to his face. They had been working in silence for some time now and Katsuki turned to see where Deku had been looking and saw his digital clock reading 8.32pm. Everyone in the dorm knew that Katsuki went to bed at 8 sharp.

Katsuki turned his attention back to the front to see Deku picking up his papers and notebooks and getting up to stand. Katsuki did the same, turning to deposit his items on his desk only to turn back and find Deku still standing there, books clutched to his chest looking uncomfortable.

“What?” barked Katsuki with a frown.

“N-nothing” sputtered back the nerd with a crooked frown and wouldn’t look Katsuki in the eye.

“You want to sleep here or something?” asked Katsuki with a cocked eyebrow, “I thought you were past that” he added. Deku shook his head.

“Then what?” asked Katsuki again.

“It’s just” the nerd squirmed uncomfortably under Katsuki’s relentless gaze, “I just wanted to thank you, for helping me and all”

“Shut it” scoffed back Katsuki before the nerd could go on, “there’s nothing to thank. Someone had to whip you back into shape” he crossed his arms over his chest and Deku finally lifted his green eyes to his. The nerd smiled to him warmly, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Well, thanks again anyway,” his smile seemed to falter a fraction, “see ya Kacchan” he nodded his head politely and finally turned to leave.

“Yeah, see ya later nerd” shot back Katsuki and Deku offered nothing in return as he closed the door gently behind him and Katsuki let himself fall to his bed.

 

 

 

 

 

[The War – SYML]

 

 

 

 

 

Katsuki woke to loud knocking on his door. He made sure to lock it each night before he went to bed so none of his friends would creep in during the night to take his things or wake him (such things had happened already)

The knocking continued despite Katsuki wishing the person behind the door would just give up and leave. With a low growl he slid out of bed and stomped to the door, ripping it open so suddenly that Kirishima was left knocking at the air.

“What” spat Katsuki with a furious glare and he would have said more if the look on the red head’s face didn’t make his stomach turn. The red head was panting and his eyes were wide with something terrible that Katsuki couldn’t put words too. Something bad had happened, he knew that much.

Katsuki placed a hand to Kirishima’s chest and pushed him back a step so he could step out and survey the hallway. It was dark and empty except for them. His burning red eyes snapped back to Kirishima.

“What the hell is it,” he hissed, “villains?”

“No, dude” spoke back Kirishima, his voice cracking, “It’s Midoriya”

Katsuki’s eyes opened wide and without waiting for an explanation he exploded into action, running for the stairs. The elevator would be too slow as he sprinted down them three steps at a time. He could hear Kirishima on his heels calling for him to wait, but he wouldn’t.

Katsuki burst onto the second floor and froze to take in the scene. Mineta, Aoyama, Tokoyami and Kaminari were all standing there with shocked expressions and tears in their eyes and the teachers were there. Aizawa stood before them with his arms raised to keep everyone back and if that weren’t enough, his deathly glare was. Behind the teacher stood Present Mic in Deku’s doorway with All Might beside him. The previous number one hero stood with his back to them all. Recovery Girl and Principle Nezu were there also, the later on the phone.

Katsuki felt Kirishima’s hand come down on his shoulder from behind but Katsuki didn’t tear his eyes away from the crowded hallway ahead.

“The teachers are here already?" breathed Kirishima from behind and Katsuki shrugged his hand away and stepped forward. The group of students turned to face him as he pushed through them. No one spoke a word. As Katsuki neared the front Aizawa’s glare turned on him.

“Stay where you are” warned the teacher in a tone to be reckoned with.

“What the hell happened?” demanded Katsuki as his wide eyes met the teachers but Aizawa stayed silent, his glare softening a fraction but he didn’t lower his arms for Katsuki to pass. After everything he had done to bring Deku back to classes for the teacher he felt he at least deserved to go in the room. To check on Deku. To know what had happened and he almost opened his mouth to make his argument when Aizawa’s head snapped up as the elevator dinged and he moved his arms to herd the students closer together to allow two men dressed in ambulance uniforms to pass with a stretched on wheels.

Katsuki took the chance to duck under Aizawa’s arm, the teacher wasn’t equipped with his capture scarf so if Katsuki could just get out of arms reach of the man he should be able to see Deku. Aizawa growled at him but Katsuki avoided his grasp but was stopped by Present Mic at the door who had his arms raised ready to catch him. Katsuki pulled up short with bared teeth. The medics had slipped past the loud hero and entered the room and now their backs took up all the space inside and Katsuki couldn’t see past them. Aizawa’s hands came down firmly on Katsuki’s shoulders and spun him back towards the other students. The teacher shot Kirishima a pissed off glare and the student gulped.

Kaminari grabbed onto Katsuki’s arms and pulled him back closer to their cluster. By his legs Mineta sniffled and Aoyama was shaking and looking pale. Tokoyami simply hung his head and Kaminari and Kirishima looked to Katsuki with apologetic looks.

“Will one of you idiots tell me what the fuck is going on?” hissed Katsuki to them all. If Aizawa heard, he didn’t complain.

“We were all downstairs,” started Kaminari and Katsuki rolled his eyes and growled at the teen, he had wanted a straightforward answer, not a fucking story, yet the blonde went on.

“Mineta, Kirishima and I. We were going to bed and took the stairs”

“My room’s next to Midoriya’s so when we came up here we saw Aoyama outside Midoriya’s room” added Mineta from below.

“I-I always check on him when I can,” spoke up Aoyama from behind and Katsuki turned his head to look at the quivering blonde from the corner of his eye, “I know he doesn’t sleep so good so I check to make sure he’s not having any nightmares if I’m still awake” Katsuki thought that was a creepy habit but held his tongue.

“Aoyama was the one who found him” tacked on Kirishima when it looked like Aoyama couldn’t go on. The French wanna-be looked so pale he was either gonna puke or pass out.

Katsuki turned his narrowed eyes to Kirishima’s face right beside him and the red head’s eyes looked watery and his mouth was pressed into a thin wavering line. Before Katsuki could ask what the hell they meant everyone’s attention was snapped back to Deku’s bedroom door as the paramedics wheeled out the stretcher and Katsuki followed their line of sight.

He had expected to see Deku injured and looking miserable or apologetic. He thought his quirk had fucked up again and done something while he had been sleeping or that in a panic after another nightmare he had punched something hard enough to injure himself but he didn’t see any of that.

What he saw was an unmoving body covered entirely in a white sheet.
No green hair, no smile, no apologetic green eyes for worrying everyone.

Katsuki could feel his breath catch, his legs feel weak and his heart ache. He pulled himself free from Kaminari’s grip and ran forward. Aizawa caught him in his arms but he struggled and pushed to get past the teacher, even threating to use his quirk as he let off a few small explosions until Aizawa’s glare nullified it. Tears streamed down his face as the stretcher was wheeled past him and back to the elevator.

“No!” Katsuki screamed at the top of his lungs and the other students flinched back, “This is some kind of sick joke right?” he turned his head back to the teacher with wet red pleading eyes. Aizawa said nothing.

“That’s not Deku!,” he went on, staring back to the elevator as the doors closed and he continued to struggle, doing everything he could, elbowing Aizawa in the chest with everything he had.

“It can’t be, it can’t!”

The elevator doors closed.

“Let me see him!”

The light above the elevator changed from 2 to 1 as it reached the bottom floor.

“I want to see him!”

“Let me go damnit!”

More students emerged from the stairs having heard Katsuki’s voice carry throughout the entire building.

“This is just some fucking prank!”

“Deku isn’t that weak!”

All of the students that had already been present, Kirishima and Tokoyami included were crying.

“Bring him back damnit!”

“He wouldn’t. I’ll kill him myself!”

The newer students were hiding their faces behind hands, crying, falling to their knees. They shuffled over as a group to huddle closer to the five that were already there.

“Let me the hell go” Katsuki hissed and whether Aizawa had just grown tired of the constant thrashing or his ribcage had finally given way, he released his hold on Katsuki so suddenly that he fell to his knees on the floor and scrambled to his feet to head for the stairs. Kirishima intercepted him with an embrace, hardening his body as Katsuki started to hammer into him to let go.

“He’s gone man” he whispered to Katsuki, “the ambulance is gone” Katsuki gritted his teeth over a scream and dropped his head to rest on the hardened shoulder. He continued to weakly beat a fist against Kirishima’s chest but the anger was gone and Katsuki could only feel his body growing weak and numb from it all. He leaned into Kirishima and the crying red head took it, letting Katsuki hide his face against him while he cried.

“Well,” sighed Aizawa, gaining everyone’s attention aside from Katsuki who kept his face hidden, “since everyone is awake now, let’s have a talk” he spoke to the class.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Aizawa said to them was later confirmed to be true after some bloodwork at the hospital to determine Deku’s death.

Deku committed suicide Thursday night sometime between leaving Katsuki’s room and 10pm by overdosing on his sleeping pills and downing two miniature bottles of alcohol he had taken from the party. It had been a deadly mixture and it had accomplished what he had intended it too.

Aoyama had been the one to find him, already gone on his bed and when the shaken teen had stepped out to breath and think of what action to do next, Kaminari, Kirishima and Mineta had come across him and been alerted. Kirishima had tried to revive the teen while Kaminari had called Aizawa and Tokoyami had been woken by the noise. When Kirishima had been unsuccessful he had run to Katsuki’s room to tell him. The red head had felt that considering how close Katsuki had been to the nerd, that he had a right to know right away. And Katsuki was grateful for that at least. He would have hated to have only found out when he woke in the morning. Something about that seemed more painful, if that was possible.

Deku had left a note on his desk to his mother and nothing else.

The entire class was allowed the Friday off of classes and the class as a whole sat together on the ground floor, comforting each other as best they could and crying openly.

Katsuki couldn’t handle it all and returned to his room. Kirishima called out to him as he left that he would check in on him later. Katsuki only clicked his tongue. He didn’t want to be babied.

The moment he closed his door behind him Katsuki broke down, resting his back against the door and sliding down it till he was sitting with his knees to his chest as he sobbed and cried out at how idiotic Deku was. Cursed him for leaving. Scolded him for not saying something sooner, for not reaching out to him.

Katsuki had tried to be there for him, had wanted to be there for him. He felt lost and like a failure. He knew Deku had been struggling to accept what had happened to him and what he had done to others but he thought he was truly getting better and he dug his nails into his own arms till he could feel them biting into his skin as he cursed himself for not seeing more, for not being there more. 

If only he had actually made him stay that last night. Insisted that Deku sleep in his bed.

Katsuki cried until nothing more came out and he sat there in silence. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed until he staggered to his feet and moved to his bed, only pausing when his eyes lingered on the notebooks on his desk, untouched since their last study session together the night before.

Beside Katsuki’s pile of books and papers was another book. He recalled glimpsing it there the night before but hadn’t stopped to pay it any attention. Now though, he recognized it as one of Deku’s and he immediately went to it, picking it up and flicking through the pages, but there was nothing new or interesting inside it. Just English class notes.

But Katsuki knew the nerd. He wasn’t the forgetful type. He had no reason to have left one of his notebooks on his desk without reason. Katsuki flicked to the back of the notebook and there, scrawled across the back page was a message.

Now it’s your turn

Katsuki let the book slip between his fingers as he recalled those words. They were the same words All Might had said to the camera after taking down All For One at Kamino ward. That was the same moment Katsuki had seen Deku crying at the words while everyone else had cheered. The day Katsuki had started to wonder what more there was between Deku and All Might’s relationship beyond teacher and student. It was those words that had led Katsuki to being let in on the secret that was One For All.

Katsuki clasped a hand over his mouth and he leaned his hip against the desk for support so suddenly that the table shook. He felt like he was going to be sick. Deku had given him One For All which meant that Deku had planned this all alone. His suicide hadn’t been a spur of the moment thing. He had planned it. And that thought only hurt more. Katsuki sunk to his knees as he focused on taking deep breaths so he wouldn’t be sick.

All the time Deku had smiled at him and laughed had been a lie. Everything had been a lie and it hurt, it hurt Katsuki’s chest so bad that it was hard to breath and tears streamed down his face again.

There was a knock at the door but Katsuki didn’t move. Kirishima let himself in and upon seeing Katsuki on his knees in tears he rushed over to kneel beside him.

“Bro are you okay?” he asked with concern, but the answer was obvious. No, he wasn’t okay. Katsuki didn’t think he would ever be okay again.

Katsuki chose one emotion above the rest to grab onto and he chose anger, focusing on it until it drowned out the other emotions that were overwhelming him. Anger Katsuki was familiar with. He pushed Kirishima away, scooped up the notebook and fled from the room, ignoring Kirishima calling after him. He didn’t stop running until he had reached his destination.

He didn’t bother knocking before Katsuki barged into the teacher’s dorm, many turning to him with expressions of surprise and annoyance. Katsuki racked his crazed red eyes across the open space of the ground floor, searching.

“Yo kiddo,” called Present Mic from the couches, “you can’t just go crashing our party yo” Katsuki ignored him and went to walk deeper when Aizawa stepped in his path.

“Bakugo, you can’t just come in here unannounced,” warned the homeroom teacher, “if this is about-“

“Shut it!” barked Katsuki and Aizawa narrowed his eyes with irritation, “where the hell’s All Might? Bring him here” ordered the student as the other teachers closed in.

“Bakugo” warned Aizawa in a low voice.

“All Might where the fuck are you, show yourself!” yelled Katsuki over all of them and Aizawa stepped closer ready to restrain him if needed. Midnight stepped closer from the side, ready to put him to sleep if need be. Katsuki shot them all a glare with bared teeth and stepped back, keeping his distance without baking down. He was ready for a fight.

“Young Bakugo?” called All Might from behind the other teachers and they stepped back to let him through with annoyed looks. All Might sheepishly smiled to them all and bowed his head in apology as he reached Bakugo.

“Let us take this outside” he offered and ushered Katsuki out. Once outside and with the front door to the teachers dorm closed behind them All Might turned to Katsuki, letting his fatigue show and asked him what the fuss was about.

“This” barked Katsuki as he shoved the notebook to All Might and the teacher looked to it.

“Midoriya’s notebook?” he asked as he flicked through it.

“Yeah. The nerd left it on my desk before he-“ offed himself, Katsuki couldn’t bring himself to say the words out loud, feeling his throat close at the thought.
“Look at the back” he told the teacher and All Might’s blue eyes glanced to Katsuki’s stern face before he did so and there he froze and lowered the book slower to look to Katsuki again.

“You think?” asked the teacher in a low voice.

“Yes I think” spat back Katsuki with frustration, “but do you know what this means?” he pushed, his brows coming together.

“That One For All is with you” answered the teacher.

“No!,” Katsuki spat back, “I don’t know, alright,” he added, throwing his hands, “it means that the nerd planned all of this from the start” his throat was beginning to tighten again, “the idiot already planned on killing himself” his voice cracked and he stopped to focus on his breathing which was coming to fast.

“He lied to me,” Katsuki glared down at his feet, his hands balled into fists as his side while his eyes grew wet again, “he acted like he was getting better when he wasn’t”

All Might placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. He tried to comfort Katsuki with his words, but Katsuki was numb to them as they flowed over him like white noise. He was a failure that couldn’t even save one stupid nerd.

If Deku really had passed One For All to Katsuki, he didn’t feel it and the next week Katsuki didn’t have the heart or motivation to take part in any PE or hero classes, opting to sit out on the sidelines instead. At the beginning of the week a few other students had too but by the end of the week only Katsuki had continued to sit out. Classes inside the classroom were just as hard. The empty seat behind Katsuki only haunting him and making it hard for him to take in any information from the teacher’s lectures. Part way through the week Aizawa had decided to move Mineta and Yaoyorozu’s seats up so the empty seat was at the rear or the room.

 

 

 

 

 

[Bayou – Mountains of the Moon]

 

 

 

 

 

That weekend, just over a week after Deku left them, a funeral was held and the entire class and U.A faculty attended. Even class 1B came and Katsuki’s parents were there too as well as Deku’s dad who had returned for the service.

Media hounded the gates outside the site of the funeral, the school having chosen the venue to allow better security while the vultures circled outside, hungry for anything. The media was against U.A. First accusing them of hiding a murderer and now putting into question the school’s level of student care. They made Katsuki sick and he wanted nothing more than to blast them away and tell them to fuck off but he was wise enough to know that wouldn’t resolve anything. The school did its best to remain level headed amidst all the slander and provided everything needed for a comfortable funeral service from choosing a secure venue to providing transport and security for everyone attending.

The funeral had been draining and the entire class seemed to be dragging their feet when they returned to the dorm and each went straight to their rooms for some time alone, Katsuki included. He was ready for sleep.

“Kacchan” Katsuki could hear the voice faintly calling to him in his dreams.

“Kacchan” it called again, closer and clearer until Katsuki blinked his eyes open to focus on the face before him. Green hair, green eyes and freckles. Deku blinked to him with concern before he smiled to him warmly. Katsuki however, did not. He took a step back in confusion, tearing his eyes away from the greenette to look around him, but there was nothing to see as the two of them stood alone in a vast void.

“Deku?” Katsuki asked back as he turned his attention back to the smaller teen. Deku beamed back at him. Katsuki felt a swirl of emotions inside him. Joy, anger, sadness, hopefulness that everything had just been a terrible dream.

He snapped. Katsuki stepped forward, covering the space between them and hit Deku in the face with a powerful right hook. Deku stumbled back and fell on his rear holding a hand to his cheek.

“Yeah, I guess I deserved that” he smiled to himself though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“You think?” spat Katsuki, stomping his foot, “Fuck you” he growled as Deku got back to his feet and lowered his hand from his cheek. Katsuki felt a little more annoyed when he saw there was not mark there.

“When did you do it?” hissed Katsuki, clenching his fists. He knew it for certain now. This was One For All and he had it now. Deku smiled and looked away sheepishly.

“The coffee?” asked Katsuki, a portion of his anger falling away and his hands relaxed at his sides. Deku only nodded.

“I knew it tasted like shit” he spat

“My finger was cut,” spoke up Deku, lifting his green gaze to meet Katsuki’s and in them he saw something else. Not the same sadness he had seen them that last night. He saw something warm and more caring.

“So you doped me with your damn blood” scoffed back Katsuki. Deku only smiled back.

“I’m sorry” he spoke softly, “I-I” he started to stammer but Katsuki didn’t want to hear it as he closed the distance between them again and this time wrapped his arms around the nerd, pulling him in close to hold tightly.

“Kacchan?”

“I fucking hate you” whispered Katsuki as he squeezed the greenette and Deku lifted his arms to embrace Katsuki back.

“I love you too” he whispered back but the fight had left Katsuki as he lowered his head into the crook of Deku’s neck and breathed. He wanted to cry and punch and scream but he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than just stay where he was.

Eventually they pulled apart from each other and Deku looked up to Katsuki with those same warm sparkling eyes that looked close to tears as he smiled.

“I’ll know you’ll be the best hero ever” he told Katsuki and he felt his chest tighten at the words.

“It was supposed to be you” Katsuki whispered back sadly. Deku took his hand between his own and smiled down to it. He could see the teen was struggling, no doubt having too much to say and not knowing where to start. Katsuki pulled his hand away.

“I still hate you” he warned Deku and he nodded back in reply with a smile and stepped back.

“You won’t leave again?” asked Katsuki after a moment of silence passed between them.

“Never” replied Deku with a soft smile that radiated warmth.

Katsuki wished he had spoken those words when Deku had still been alive. If he had promised to never leave him then, would he have kept his word and kept on fighting. He would never know.

All Katsuki could do was lower his head and grit his teeth against the overwhelming pain he felt burning in his chest and the annoyance that he felt at himself. None of his thoughts of ‘what ifs’ would do him any good yet he couldn’t help but to dwell on them, despite the sharp pain they caused.

Deku stepped forward, keeping his hands to himself as he leaned his head against Katsuki’s shoulders and keep his gaze down at their feet.

“I’ll never leave you again Kacchan” he whispered his promise.

 

Notes:

Thank you for reading!

I do apologize for not giving certain warnings at the beginning of the fic or applying certain tags such as suicide, because I did not want to spoil anything. Sorry again!

Anyway I hope you all enjoyed the fic and a big thanks to my sweetheart for proof reading this fic for me before posting <3
I don't usually let people I know read my fics because it feels embarrassing, but it was worth it to be able to read and hear her wonderful comments, thoughts and opinions as she went (as well as her corrections)