Chapter Text
-------- seven months and one day until the wedding -----------
“Pleeeeease Alya!”
“Marinette, it’s not going to happen.”
“Not even if you get a bazillion dollars worth of fancy cheese?”
“It would never work, and even if it did, I’m not gay and I’m in a committed relationship with Nino,”
“None of that matters Alya, think of the money, the fancy cheese, the death of capitalism!”
“What are you guys even talking about?” Adrien walked up to her and Alya’s table at the cafe. “Marinette has this plan that she saw on Tumblr where you pretend to have a wedding and then invite a bunch of billionaires, but then they don’t want to come so they have their assistants send these big expensive gifts. And then you have all this free stuff,” Alya explained.
“And so she was trying to get Alya to pretend to marry her and send out invitations and stuff,” Nino chimed in next.
“But she wooooon’t,” Marinette lamented.
“I’d pretend to marry you Marinette,’ Adrien said.
Now, in Marinette’s mind, there were two ways she could respond to Adrien’s almost joking proposition. She could laugh it off, decline his offer, and move on with her life. Or, she could lean in closer, look him straight in the eye, and ask “Deadass?” Of course, she chose the latter.
“Deadass.” Adrien didn’t even hesitate. Marinette pumped her fists in victory and turned to Alya to gloat. “Take notes, Alya, ‘cuz that is how a true friend acts,” Marinette turned slowly back to Adrien. “Or should I say, future fake hubby.” She expected Adrien to at least blush, but he seemed fully committed to the bit. “Thank you for addressing me properly, fake wife.”
“Oh, anything for mon minou.” Marinette smirked. “French? Babe, you know what that does to me.” Adrien swooned dramatically into Nino’s arms.
“Y'all are seriously gross and I hope you’re happy together in your fake marriage,” Alya rolled her eyes.
“Thanks Alys, it’s good to have your support.”
“Anytime Mari.”
“So anyway Adrien, this has to look legit. We’ve got to get some good paper and get a legit design and a list of billionaires.” Marinette started game-planning.
“Fancy paper? I’ve got fancy paper out the ass, do you even know how much money my dad left me?” Adrien said.
“Well then I’ll see you at your place tomorrow to make our game plan.”
“See you then, Honey Buns.”
“I look forward to it, Sweet Cheeks.”
-------- seven months until the wedding -----------
“Alright, so what should it say?” Adrien asked.
“Well we should probably send out save-the-dates first, and then like a couple months from now, we’ll send out the actual invitations with the R.S.V.P.s and everything. I think that’s how it works.” Marinette replied.
“That sounds right, save the dates usually have, like, pictures and stuff on them, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay so here’s the plan: we go out this weekend and take a few lovey-dovey photos to put on the save-the-date. I can dig up my mom’s old wedding dress and you have plenty of tuxes you can use. We’ll even get Nino to get out his good camera. We’ll pick the best few and find some sort of save-the-date template to put them in, slap our names on it, and send them out to this list of billionaires.” Marinette pulled out a list of fifteen names.
“Where did you get the personal addresses of fifteen billionaires?”
“My super sweet Ladybug skills, of course.”
“I think you mispronounced ‘stalking’.”
“Fuck off, I did not. Then we’ll send out the official invitation. We can probably expect absolutely zero RSVPs and the gifts will arrive around the wedding date with apology notes and well wishes.”
“Sounds like a solid plan.”
“Now, it has to look legit, so our wedding date should be like 7 months from now. How does a September wedding sound?”
“Fall wedding? No complaints from me.”
“And we have to have a location as well. If you were going to really get married, where would you do it?”
“Honestly, probably at my family’s summer house in North Carolina. Before my mother passed away and before my father was a supervillain, we would go down there and those summers were some of the best of my life. And the fact that it is literally a cottage right by the beach doesn’t hurt either.”
“That sounds perfect, would you mind if we said our fake wedding was there, or would that make you uncomfortable?”
“I’m okay with it, but thanks for asking.”
“Always. After all, if we’re going to be fake married I have to be considerate of my husband’s feelings.”
“Aw M’Lady, I don’t deserve you.”
“You deserve the world, Mon Chaton.”
The smile they shared then was one of absolute admiration. Marinette felt something at that moment that she hadn’t felt since she first got over her crush on Adrien. Butterflies rose up in her stomach and she could practically feel her pupils turning into hearts. She quickly got over herself, but she’s pretty sure Adrien almost figured her out.
--------------- six months, three weeks, and one day until the wedding --------------
They had been texting on and off for a couple of days before they decided to take their save-the-date photos with the New York skyline. After all, if they were going to convince these fancy billionaires that they were worth sending a wedding gift to, they had to get some fancy-ass photos. Plus, they could easily get to the perfect vantage point using their superhero alter-egos. They would just take the photos using a tripod.
The day to take the photos came, and she met her fake fiancé on the top of the Empire State Building. Ladybug touched down in front of Chat Noir with Nino’s camera firmly in hand (borrowed with permission after incessant begging).
“Glad to see you haven’t gotten cold feet M’Lady,” Chat smirked. “I would never abandon you at the altar,” Ladybug laughed. “Ready to trick some billionaires?” Chat Noir dropped his transformation, and with it dropped Marinette’s heart to her feet. He looked like every fantasy she had of marrying him when she was in middle school. His jet black tux and his brilliant green eyes were straight out of her dreams. She regained her breath when she dropped her own transformation and saw the same heat in Adrien’s gaze that she felt in her stomach.
“You look-” Adrien cleared his throat. “You look breathtaking.” “Adrien,” Marinette said his name like a prayer. “You look like a dream.” Adrien scoffed and Marinette snapped out of her stupor. “Next you’re gonna tell me I also look radiant and carefree.” Marinette rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder. “Let’s set this up and see how it turns out.”
They took their first set of photos with their arms slung over each other and smiling at the camera, but they looked too much like siblings. They tried hugging each other for the second photo series, but it was really awkward and Marinette didn’t know what to do with her arms.
Marinette was ready to give up by the third set, but a couple of seconds before the camera burst went off Adrien got a certain glint in his eye. He dropped his hands to her waist and Marinette was immediately suspicious. It was too late to pull away though because he, quick as lightning, lifted her into the air and tossed her. Marinette had swung all over the city as Ladybug, but she had never felt more weightless than she did then.
She looked down into Adrien’s eyes and smiled, the flashing camera and the lights of the city became twinkling stars in the distance and Adrien became her entire world. He caught and dunked her effortlessly. She snaked her arms around his neck and, in a moment of inspiration, pressed her forehead to his. She tried to school her face into the most lovestruck expression possible. It wasn’t hard when she was with Adrien.
The photos were perfect. Of course they were.
--------------- six months and three weeks until the wedding --------------
The next night they went out to a different spot with Nino to take some close-ups.
“So you’re looking for something more kissy and less silhouette-y?”
“Yes Nino, just tell us what to do,” Marinette said.
“Oh don’t mind her, she’s just under so much stress with the wedding planning,” Adrien pulled her to his side. “It’s alright, Snookums.”
“Oh you got me Pookie,” Marinette said sarcastically. “You can read me like a book.” Adrien rolled his eyes and smiled. “Okay lovebirds, put your arms around each other and pretend you’re about to get married,” Nino called.
They settled against each other and Marinette looped her arms around Adrien’s neck and Adrien looped his arms around her waist. They gazed happily toward Nino’s camera, and he lined up the shot properly. He took a couple of pictures of them just smiling before he started posing them himself.
And then came the dreaded kissing photo. “All we need is a little peck on the lips and you can start creating the save the date,” Nino told them. He lined up the photo as they turned toward each other.
“So Adrien I want you to lift Marinette up so your faces are level.”
“You ready, short-ass?” Adrien asked.
“Oh you’ll pay for that,” Marinette whispered viciously.
Adrien clasped his hands under her butt and hoisted her up so that they were chest to chest. She was close enough to see the challenge in his eyes. She realized then that Adrien didn’t think she had the gall to kiss him, he really thought that he was going to be the one wearing the pants in their made-up relationship. How adorable.
Marinette smiled and melted against him. Adrien’s grin faltered. She didn’t even wait for Nino to give the go-ahead before pressing her lips to his. It took him a second to respond, and Marinette was worried that she had completely overstepped. She was about to pull away and offer to call off their fake wedding scheme when he started kissing back.
And it was everything she had ever dreamed.
Her middle school self would have called it fireworks or lightning or maybe even true love. Her current self was too busy kissing Adrien and letting the world fade away around her. Adrien tasted like sunshine and strawberries. Marinette sighed with contentment.
It was over much too soon.
She purposefully ignored the flutters in her stomach and the dazed look in Adrien’s eyes to ask Nino if he had the photos he needed. He nodded absentmindedly and scrolled through the camera roll. Marinette didn’t miss the concerned look Nino sent Adrien and the little head shake Adrien gave in response. She ignored that too.
Adrien set her down and Marinette put a couple of inches between them. “Why are you looking so down, Adrikins? Don’t you love me?” That got a laugh out of him. “That was low, even for you Dupain-Cheng,” he said. Marinette gasped in mock surprise. “How could you?”
Their laughter turned into a comfortable silence turned into electric tension. She was two seconds away from hurling herself toward Adrien and begging for another kiss when Nino cleared his throat and they snapped out of it.
Marinette jumped right in to fill the silence. “Okay so Nino can you put all of the good photos into a file and me and Adrien can design a good Save-the-Date this weekend?”
“Sure Mari,” Nino said.
“Sounds good to me, my place or yours?” Adrien asked.
“Mine of course Honeybunch, it’s so much more intimate,” Marinette said jokingly.
“You are so right Babe, I’ll see you at 2 on Saturday.”
“See you then.”
------------- six months and two weeks before the wedding ------------
When Adrien showed up on Saturday, Marinette already had all of the photos they took pulled up on her computer. She plopped onto her bed and invited Adrien to settle in next to her, which he did.
She pulled up an online Save-the-Date format on her computer. “So this is the format I was thinking. Do you think we should go for gold lettering on a white background?”
“Yeah, that looks nice.”
“Okay yeah, and there is room for three photos. The big one will be us kissing and then the two little ones will be from the night we went out to take pictures ourselves.”
Adrien sunk lower into the bed and nodded for Marinette to continue. They opened the file of pictures for the first time together and Marinette felt Adrien’s soft inhale next to her. They looked like a real couple. They looked like they were in love.
Adrien was a much better actor than she realized because he was looking at her like she was his universe. She was surprised at how real her own look of adoration was. When they finally got to the photo of their kiss, Marinette’s cheeks turned bright red. She was smiling into Adrien’s kiss and grasping at him like she would never let go. She looked over at Adrien to gauge his reaction to the photo, and he looked just as amazed as she was.
Marinette’s chest thudded with longing for a real relationship. She quieted her suffering heart by thinking of all of the sweet expensive gifts she would get by hoodwinking billionaires.
After some debate over which versions of photos they should add to the format, they finally settled on a design. They sent them to the nearest print shop and parted ways.
A couple of days later, Marinette went down to the print store herself to get the Save-the-Dates and send them out. She set a reminder on her phone to send out their official wedding invites for ten weeks before their supposed wedding date, and pretty much forgot about it for the next couple of months.
-------------------- two months before the wedding --------------
Marinette got three letters in the mail two weeks after sending out the official fake wedding invitations. Her joy at her scheme supposedly working quickly turned to utter despair as she saw that two of the three RSVPs were marked yes. She called Adrien immediately, he picked up after three rings.
“Hey Mari, to what do I owe-”
“They said yes, Adrien.”
“What?”
“I just got three of the fifteen RSVPs back in the mail, and two of them said yes. Adrien, there are billionaires coming to our wedding, what are we gonna do?”
“Don’t cry, it’s going to be okay.”
“No it’s not Adrien, when they find out we’re not actually getting married we’re going to get in so much trouble.”
“Well then I guess we’ll just have to have a wedding.”
“In two months? Are you kidding me?”
“No, this is going to work. I don’t know what is going to happen if we don’t do this wedding and I don’t want to find out.”
“Well obviously we’re going to go to jail or something.”
“Right, but we can make this wedding happen, Mari. I’ve got money, you’ve got a wild amount of family members, we can make this work.”
“Oh my God.”
“Please don’t panic, here’s how it’s going to go: You’re going to send out official invitations to every family member you have and to Natalie and Felix and My Aunt. Invite the Bustier Gang too. I’ll have to ask Nino to be my best man. We’ll have it at the cottage we talked about and I know a catering place that owes me a favor. We’ll even hire a real wedding planner if you want. If we are going to do this, we are going to do this all the way, no one can know except for you and me.”
“Not even Nino and Alya?”
“Not even them, we have to do this for real. We’ll have to come up with a story for why our fake wedding turned into a real one.”
“We’ll just say that we fell in love because of the fake wedding, like after the kissing photo we decided to try it out? We’ve been keeping the relationship secret because we were nervous and now we just can’t keep it secret anymore?”
“Yeah yeah, and I’ll have to ask your parents for your hand and give them prior warning so they don’t just get a message out of the blue.”
“And we’ll have to get engagement rings and wedding rings.”
“Okay I’m coming over right now Mari, we need to plan this out and you seem like you are panicking really hard right now.”
“Okay, thanks Adrien.”
“That’s Babe to you, Babe, we’re getting married for real now.”
“Okay Babe, see you in a bit.”
---------- one month, three weeks, and five days before the wedding -----------
After two very intensive days of planning a very real wedding, Adrien and Marinette finally had a game plan. Marinette called her parents ahead of time to feed them the story of their romance, excluding how their wedding was originally a fake one. They were much less surprised than she thought they would be. In fact, they were wildly more enthusiastic about the prospect of her daughter marrying her middle school crush than expected. They set up a time when they would share dinner with her parents and then they would drive straight to send out the invitations after they left. It was the perfect plan.
Adrien picked Marinette from her apartment at 7 to drive to her parent’s house. Marinette was basically anxiety-in-the-vague-shape-of-a-human when she heard Adrien knock on her door. She shouted out that it was open as she ran to the kitchen to grab the macaroons and fruit salad she made for dinner. She almost dropped both containers when she zoomed out of the kitchen and straight into Adrien.
Adrien put his hands on her waist to steady her, and she couldn’t help but blush. “M’Lady you’ve already fallen for me, there’s no reason to do it again,” Adrien smirked and leaned in toward her. “Unless, of course, you want to.”
“I can’t decide if I’m horny or if I’m about to literally cringe into myself, Jesus Chat,” Marinette laughed and righted herself. “Princess, when we’re married you won’t ever have to decide, because it will always be both,” Adrien replied.
“Okay this is perfect couple banter, we have to be doing this all night.”
“Shouldn’t be hard, we’re always like this.”
“True, but still. You better act like my fiance like your life depends on it because it does.”
“Because you’ll kick my ass if I give us away?”
“I won’t hesitate for a second.”
“That’s why I love you, Babe.”
They arrived at Marinette’s parent’s house around 7:30. Adrien even opened her door and escorted her to the front door, it was so romantic she nearly squealed out loud. “Honey, welcome home,” Sabine rushed to greet them. “And Adrien it’s so good to see you again, I always knew you and ‘Nette would make such a cute couple.”
“Thank you, Ms. Cheng!” Adrien pulled her a little closer to his side, she could feel a nervous tremor in his hand. “Thank you for inviting us to dinner tonight.” “Oh it’s my pleasure young man,” Sabine gushed over how polite Adrien was. “And please, call me Sabine.” “I can’t make any promises Ms. Cheng,” Adrien smiled. Sabine grinned and disappeared into the house, beckoning Adrien and Marinette to follow her.
Mariette took the opportunity away from her Mama to whisper to Adrien. “Hey it’s alright, it’s just my parents. It’s going to be alright.” “In my head I know that, but if they don’t approve then I wouldn’t feel right marrying you, even if it is fake,” Adrien leaned down to talk lowly as they walked down the hall. “I feel the same way,” Marinette paused as they entered the dining room and set eyes on her beaming Papa. “But something tells me we’re more likely to be smothered to death by hugs once you ask for their blessing.” She instinctively pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before leaving him to place her dinner contributions on the table.
The dinner itself went exceptionally well. Adrien was the perfect gentleman and boyfriend, and if he squeezed her hand comfortingly one more time she just might just go ahead and fall in love with him. Her parents were laughing at something Adrien said, and he turned to her and smiled and that was it. She was officially falling. All the way into the abyss of endless possibility, no end in sight. No comforting hand squeezing necessary.
When they moved to the living room for ice cream, and everyone had settled into their seats, Adrien cleared his throat and stood up and acknowledged Marinette’s parents. Marinette’s entire body tensed in anticipation.
“I know this seems sudden and that Marinette and I have only been official for a couple of months, but Marinette is the most extraordinary person I’ve ever had the honor of loving. She lights up the room just by being in it, she’s the smartest, most creative person I know, and every moment I spend with her is another moment in heaven. There is no one else I could even imagine spending the rest of my life with. I intend to marry your daughter and I would love to have your blessing if you are willing to give it.”
There was a moment of silence where Marinette was terrified that her parents would scream or refuse their blessing or kick them out. But her fears were unfounded because at the same moment her Papa lept up to shake Adrien’s hand, her Mama burst into happy tears and tried to hug him. It was a weird visual with her Mama’s arms wrapped around Adrien and her Papa gripping both of his hands, but the message was clear.
“It would be an honor to have you as a part of this family, Adrien. Of course, you have our blessing!” Tom boomed happily. When they finally let Adrien go and he turned back around to grin at Marinette, she forgot that they were supposed to be faking it. She was getting married, she couldn’t believe it. Without thinking, she flung herself toward Adrien and kissed him. For five seconds, everything was perfect. And then she remembered that she wasn’t actually getting married. And Adrien wasn’t actually hers.
She separated their mouths and grinned at her parents. And if she noticed that Adrien was still looking at her instead of her parents, she didn’t think anything of it, she just folded it into her fantasy. Kept pretending that he actually loved her. She wasn’t going to let a little thing like reality get in the way of her happiness.
They finally left her parents’ house close to midnight and stumbled arm in arm out to Adrien’s car. “I would call that a slam dunk success, Purr-incess,” Adrien drawled from the driver’s seat. “You ready to put all these invitations into the PO box?”
“Adrien you’re using your Chat Noir voice again! We don’t have time for that, Babe, we’ve got fake wedding invitations to send!”
“That’s my girl!”
As they drove, singing at the top of their lungs to some Taylor Swift song on the radio, Marinette contemplated their arrangement. They had both agreed to actually get married officially with documents, to sell the ruse. And they had also agreed that Marinette would spend the two months after the wedding in Adrien’s house, pretending that she had sold her own apartment and was living in post-wedding bliss with her new husband. Then, they would have a quiet divorce and go back to being friends. They could pretend that nothing had happened in the first place.
Well, if they were getting married for real anyway, Marinette figured she might as well make the most of it. She was about to enjoy her time as an Agreste, just like her middle school self would have wanted. But she also made a pact with herself: she would do nothing to make Adrien uncomfortable. If Adrien said the word, she would call off the wedding without hesitation. If Adrien discovered her true feelings for him and didn’t want to go through with it, she wouldn’t pressure him at all to marry her.
She could promise that much.
-------------------- one month and three weeks before the wedding --------------
Alya started screaming as soon as Marinette picked up the phone.
“GIRL WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GETTING FUCKING MARRIED?”
“Alys just let me explain -”
“DON’T CALL ME “ALYS” LIKE YOU DIDN’T DO WHAT YOU JUST DID! I FOUND OUT THAT MY BEST FRIEND IS GETTING MARRIED AND THAT SHE WANTS ME TO BE HER MAID OF HONOR THROUGH A FUCKING NOTE?! MARINETTE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? AND WITH ADRIEN OF ALL PEOPLE?”
“Does this mean you don’t want to be my maid of honor?”
“WHAT? NO! I’M GOING TO BE YOUR MAID OF HONOR, YOU’RE GETTING A BACHELORETTE PARTY AND THE WORKS. I’LL BE THE BEST MAID OF HONOR EVER!”
“Thanks, Alys.”
“In all seriousness, this is happening really quickly Mari, are you sure this is what you want? He didn’t knock you up or anything?”
“Alya! Of course not! I just - I’ve loved him for forever. I thought I was over him, but I wasn’t. And when we did the photoshoot for our fake wedding and he kissed me it was like being head-over-heels all over again. I asked him on a real date and he agreed. I mean, when am I ever going to be this in love again? And we were planning this fake wedding anyway so we figured, why not make it a real one?”
“You really love him, huh?”
“More than anything.”
“And this has nothing to do with the fact that two billionaires agreed to actually come to your fake wedding? And before you gasp in outrage, I know because Adrien told me yesterday.”
“We had already agreed to make it real before then, the billionaires are just an added bonus at this point.”
“Alright, I’ll see you this weekend to plan out your bachelorette party. And before you protest, it is happening. You knew what you were getting into when you made me your maid of honor.”
“What would I do without you, Alys?”
“You definitely wouldn’t have landed Adrien, I tell you that.”
“I love you, Alys.”
“I love you too Mari, see you this weekend!”
“See you!”
Marinette hung up the phone with a smile on her face.
A smile which quickly dropped when she finished sorting through her mail from the week. She had officially received all of the RSVPs back from the billionaires she had sent them out to, and four more billionaires were officially coming to her and Adrien’s wedding. That meant that she would have six extremely rich people attending her wedding in person. She called Adrien. He picked up immediately.
“Hey Babe, what’s crackalackin?”
“Okay first, never say crackalackin ever again or I will punch you in the throat, and second, I have four more affirmative RSVPs. We’re going to have six billionaires at our wedding.”
“It’s okay, it’s already an actual wedding now. What’re a few more guests? Besides, the others that didn’t want to come should send expensive gifts anyway. That’s what we wanted right?”
“Adrien, Baby, Light of my Life, I could care less about the gifts now. I’m more focused on getting through this with my sanity still mostly intact.”
“You should fake sell your apartment already and move in this weekend. We should really be living together at this point if we want this to work.”
“Why wait until this weekend when I have everything packed up already and can head over tonight?”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. I was panicking and I figured I might as well channel it into something useful like packing up the stuff I’ll need for the next four months of our life together.”
“Do you think you’ll miss your apartment while you’re away?”
“Nah, I was never really attached to it anyway. It’s the people inside a home that make it worth living in.”
“That’s literally the most poetic thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
“I may have stolen it from Master Fu.”
“I knew it!”
“I’m headed over now, I’ll see you in, like, an hour.”
“Okay bye.”
“Love you, bye”
It wasn’t until she had already hung up that she realized her fatal mistake. Saying she loved Adrien might have been crossing the line a little too far, but it had just slipped out. It was pure habit! Surely he would just chalk it up to her pretending to be in love and not think too much about it. Surely. Probably. Hopefully.
She started putting the boxes of her things into her car. Her sewing machine, her fabric spools, her clothing, her life, all went into the back of her car. She bid adieu to her small apartment and locked the door. Not to return for almost four months.
When she arrived at Adrien’s, it had started raining and he was quick to help her run all of her stuff into his house. They were soaked to the bone and his entryway was filled with soggy boxes, but Marinette couldn’t bring herself to care about anything other than the way Adrien was smiling at her and the way his wet hair kept flopping down in front of his eyes.
“I suppose you’ll want the bed? I only have one.” Adrien asked her, shaking his head and flinging water droplets everywhere. “Nonsense, I’ll take the couch, I’m not going to kick you out of your own bed,” Marinette replied. “But what kind of fiance would I be if I let my wife-to-be sleep on the couch while I enjoy the luxury of a bed?” Adrien lamented.
“We could switch off every night, that way we both get a bit of the bed and a bit of the couch if you’re going to be so insistent about it.”
“That’s actually a good idea.”
“I don’t know why you’re always so surprised, I only ever have good ideas.”
“That’s not true and you know it.”
“Screw you, Agreste.”
“You know you love me.”
“Shuuut up, that was an accident, it just slipped out. Just for that, I have dibs on the bed tonight.”
“Hey!”
---------------- one month before the wedding ----------------------------
Living with Adrien for the past three weeks had been both easier and harder than Marinette expected.
It was easy because their schedules aligned perfectly. Marinette didn’t have to worry about keeping him up with her late-night sewing because he was right there with her, staying up to look over sales projections for Gabriel and reviewing designs submitted for the company’s various competitions. And he would be the one to drag her away from her designs when it got too late.
It was easy because there was someone waiting for her when she got home to ask about her day. To ask her if Derek had finally backed off now that she was flaunting her ruby engagement ring (Adrien’s super subtle reference to her alter-ego). To ask if Maureen and Laura were finally going out after dancing around each other for weeks. To ask if her boss had tried and failed to lead the office in group yoga again.
It was easy because he was a good cook but a terrible baker, and she was a good baker but a terrible cook. They complemented each other perfectly. They would eat at the same table, they would watch movies in the evening, they would wish each other well in the mornings.
But that was exactly what made it hard. They were always together. She could no longer take refuge from his eyes or his hair or his mouth. She just had to look at this whole-ass lovable man and keep actively pretending to be pretending to love him.
Like when she got him a joke engagement ring, a silver ring she had spied while shopping. It had a little emerald cat face on the band and was shaped uncannily similarly to his Miraculous. She thought it was funny and made a big show of presenting it to him at dinner. She wasn’t expecting him to almost start crying from happiness. He wore it every day, the same way she wore her engagement ring. It was torture to have him walking around like he was actually hers.
Or like when he called her Babe and M’Lady and Sweetiepumpkinminimuffinwithhoney like he actually loved her. She would walk into a room and it would be “How was your day, Mari?” and “What do you want for dinner, Bug?” and “What movie should we watch tonight, Mon Coccinelle?” And she just had to go along with it and act like she wasn’t going to perish on the spot if he called her anything but her full name one more time.
Or like the shower incident, god the shower accident, that neither of them spoke of, but which still hung heavy in the air between them. You see, there was only one shower in the house, and it was attached to the only bedroom. So one morning when she had been on the couch and Adrien was still sleeping in the bed, she snuck through the bedroom to take her morning shower.
Everything had been going fine, she had had a very nice shower. She wrapped herself in her towel, made sure she turned the shower all the way off (it had a tendency to leak), and stepped out of the bathroom without a care in the world. She didn’t expect Adrien to be awake and half-naked.
They had frozen at the sight of each other, and Marinette distinctly remembers telling herself not to glance down. She did anyway, and Adrien definitely caught her. She blushed bright red. “Oh my God, Adrien I’m so sorry.” She wrapped her towel tighter around herself and started to leave the room. That had seemed to spur Adrien into motion, he had lept jerkily toward the door, probably to open it for her, completely forgetting that they were both showing way more skin than they normally did.
Of course, he slipped on something and crashed into her and she slammed her head into the door frame. They ended up tangled together on the floor, pressed closer together than Marinette ever planned. His cock was literally right there and she had to stutter and apologize and leave instead of flipping them over and riding him. God, would the torture never cease?
They were supposed to fly to the wedding venue two weeks before the wedding to set everything up, but Marinette wasn’t sure she’d last one more day living with Adrien, much less three more months.
------------------ three weeks before the wedding ----------------------
Marinette’s bachelorette party was in full swing. Alya rented a karaoke room for the entire night and they just kept ordering more and more drinks and singing progressively worse and worse songs. Alya had invited all of their girlfriends (Juleka, Rose, Chloe, Zoe, Sabrina, and Alix) plus Marinette’s cousin Bridgette and her sister-from-a-different-mister Fei.
Marinette was wearing a short white dress which she had most definitely spilled alcohol on, a pink sash reading “I’m Getting Meow-ied”, and a plastic crown with pink rhinestones. She felt like a queen, but maybe it was just the alcohol.
Marinette was chilling on one of the sofas, arguing with Chloe about polka-dots and listening to Alix and Alya scream along to the Phineas and Ferb Theme Song, when a knock on the door to their booth managed to cut through all the noise. Marinette got up to answer it and found Nino twiddling his thumbs nervously. He wasn’t really looking at her.
“Hey, could you guys keep it down a little bit? My bro is -'' he finally noticed Marinette. “Holy shit no way! I knew we were doing the parties on the same night but in karaoke booths right next to each other? Alya must have stolen my idea, this is insane!” He started laughing uncontrollably.
The booth fell quiet as the song finished and Alya was the first to speak up. “Nino, what the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at Adrien’s bachelor party!”
“That’s the thing Babe, the bachelor party is literally next door!”
“You stole my idea Nino!”
“No you stole mine!”
Now, maybe it was the fact that she had been steadily drinking all night, or maybe it was her own self-destructive tendencies, but something made Marientte speak up. “Guys, we should combine parties!”
Alya immediately jumped on it. “Yeah totally, get the guys over here! Mari, this might be the best idea you’ve ever had!”
“You’re a genius Mari.” Nino nodded excitedly.
Nino came back not two minutes later with the entire Bachelor Party. If she thought the night was wild before, it was bonkers-fucking-yonkers then. Everyone was singing and talking and drinking, but Marinette could only really look at Adrien. He was stunning to behold. His hair was slicked back and his face was very pink. He was wearing this collared shirt with the first couple of buttons undone and it was driving Marinette crazy. And it was so hard to keep herself under control.
So she didn’t. She could blame it all on the alcohol later anyway.
“Hey hot stuff,” Marinette sidled up to Adrien when he finally sat down. “Hey pigtails,” Adrien smiled lazily back at her. She pouted, “I don’t wear pigtails anymore.”
“Shame, they were cute.”
“Pigtails are for babies and dumb high schoolers who don’t have any other hairstyles.”
“I still think they were cute.” Adrien reached up to gently part her hair into two pigtails and Marinette’s heart stopped. Adrien probably wasn’t expecting her to slip onto his lap, judging by the way he tensed up, but she did anyway. How could she not have? He basically invited her into his lap the second he touched her hair. They fit together perfectly, and from her new vantage point, she could bury her nose in his neck. Even though he had undoubtedly spent the last few hours in an alcohol-covered karaoke booth, he still smelled amazing. It was incredible.
After a brief hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. She was in heaven. She must have spent the next hour just cuddling with him while their friends messed around in the background. Her bliss was soon shattered by Alya running over and dragging her away, saying something about how she had the rest of her life to be with Adrien but that tonight was for the girls.
She didn’t mind, but she did miss Adrien’s arms around her. She spent the rest of the night singing and dancing and it was probably just wishful thinking, but she was sure Adrien’s eyes didn’t leave her until they parted ways at the end of the night.
------------------ two weeks before the wedding ----------------------
They touched down in North Carolina in the late afternoon and drove a rental car to the cottage. They would spend a week and a half planning and scheming before the rest of the guests started arriving for the rehearsal dinner and various pre-wedding activities. But for the time being, it was just them in the cottage.
Adrien gave her the tour with a contagious grin on his face. From the outside, the cottage looked straight out of a dream. It was a creamy color with a wrap-around porch and a porch swing. The inside was even better. There was an open kitchen, a living room full of huge cushiony couches, and so many windows looking out over the ocean. There were also three bedrooms - one for Marinette’s parents, one for Natalie, and one for Marinette and Adrien to share. Which was the part Marinette was the most nervous about. See, they had agreed that sleeping in separate rooms would arouse way too much suspicion, especially since there would soon be other people in the house.
As they finished the tour in their bedroom, Adrien had lost some of his earlier enthusiasm, perhaps because he realized he would be spending the next few days sleeping in the bed of a woman he didn’t love. At least tonight, while no one else was there they might be able to sleep separately.
“We should just share the bed tonight, get the awkwardness out of the way before the parents show up,” Adrien suggested. When she didn’t respond right away he rectified his statement a little.”Or just in the same room if you would prefer.”
“No no no that’s okay, it’s a good idea to get used to sleeping with each other now so it will be less suspicious later.” Marinette finally found her voice.
“I can tell you’re nervous Mari, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to, this is a good idea.”
“If you’re sure”
“I’m sure.”
They unpacked their things as the day came to an end. The sunset bathed the bedroom in orange and red, and a soft breeze rolled in through their large ocean-facing window. Soon the sky was darker and the unpacking was done. Marinette folded the last of her jackets into the bottom drawer of their dresser and stood up to face the room.
Instead of the room, she got Adrien. He was standing incredibly close to her and he didn't even seem to realize that he was doing it. His eyes were wide and his lips were parted ever so slightly. Marinette thought he looked perfect in the light of the dying sun, but then again, Marinette thought he looked perfect all the time.
“You’re gorgeous.” For a second Marinette thought she’d finally let her true feelings slip out, but the voice she heard actually belonged to Adrien. “You’re not too bad yourself.” She heard herself reply, this was all part of their act, wasn’t it? She wasn’t sure anymore. “I mean it, Mari.” He leaned in a little closer, inches away from her. He sounded so solemn in his declaration that Marinette almost fell for it. She wanted to fall for it.
“Alright alright, mercy.” She laughed and put some distance between them. “But this is a good idea, we should be madly in love right? We could practice doing this type of thing all week, try to put off the most domesticated fiances vibe we can.”
Adrien seemed to collapse a little bit, but he quickly straightened himself back up and Marinette’s brain supplied even more words for her to vomit up. “We could even practice kissing while we’re at it, it’ll look really weird if we don’t show any physical affection all week. It’d also be nice to kiss you, I guess. You know, we’re going to have to kiss anyway -”
She was cut off by Adiren’s lips on hers, thank god he always knew what to do to get her to stop rambling. She sunk into the kiss like it was her lifeline. Marinette felt her back press up against the dresser, the knobs dug into her back but she didn’t care. Her arms slid into Adrien’s hair and he kissed her harder. Their previous kisses were pecks on the cheek compared to the scorching press of his lips on hers.
It was over much too soon, but she had to pull away or she’d end up doing something she regretted. She rested her forehead on his and just reveled in the feeling of Adrien’s arms around her. She didn’t want to mess up their new dynamic by saying something stupid, since that might ruin the chance of him kissing her ever again (and she definitely didn’t want that), so she simply said “we should probably get into bed.”
He nodded and let her go, she immediately missed his touch. He changed in the bathroom and she changed in the bedroom, and they got silently into the bed next to each other. With the lights off, Marinette was aware of every breath Adrien took and every rustle of the sheets next to her. “We should keep practicing I think,” Adrien whispered from next to her. She couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Was I really that bad?”
She could almost hear the grin in his voice. “Simply atrocious M’Lady,” Adrien said, trying his best not to sound sarcastic. “Luckily for you, I’m right here for all of your kissing needs. Don’t worry Mari, in time I’ll help you become the best kisser this side of the Atlantic.”
“My hero,” Marinette rolled over to face him in bed. “Your offer is tempting, but I believe I have already mastered the art of kissing.”
“Oh really?”
“Really.”
“Says who?”
“Says Chat Noir.”
“Pookie! Have you been canoodling with a superhero behind my back?!”
“So what if I have?”
“So then you’d have to find a way to make it up to me!”
“And how could I do that?”
“Kiss me.”
Marinette laughed with delight and made a big show of rolling on top of him, tangling the sheets in the process, and brushing their noses together before kissing him. It was a short sweet kiss, but Marinette enjoyed it nonetheless. She was glad they had returned to their jokingly fake love story, it had gotten too real earlier. They had been in uncharted territory. But this? Laughing through kisses and calling each other ridiculous nicknames? This she could do. This she was familiar with.
She rolled back off of him and went to sleep, it was going to be a good night.
------------- one week and six days before the wedding -------------
The thin rays of the mid-morning sun woke Marinette up. It took a second for her to reorient herself, but she soon came to her senses. She was sharing a bed with Adrien and she was getting married in less than two weeks and was that warm breath on her neck?
She shifted into the warmth and got a faceful of Adrien’s t-shirt. She didn’t shift away, after all, he smelled really good. He sighed and hugged her tighter to him. It seemed like Adrien was settling in to go back to sleep, and Marinette certainly wasn’t going to be the first one to pull away, so she resigned herself to her fate of being snuggled to death.
Alas, Adrien soon woke up and spoke the unfortunate truth: that they had work to do.
Over the next week, they would have to confirm for the fourth time that the hotel would be ready for all of the wedding guests, they would have to triple confirm all of the catering and food for the rehearsal dinner and the reception. They had to give the caterers a final guest count and confirm the food arrival times and finalize the seating arrangements. They had to help set up all the outdoor decoration, since the wedding was going to be just outside the cottage, on the cliffs overlooking the beach. It wasn’t supposed to rain but they had to be prepared in case it did.
And in between all of that planning and rushing around and booking last-minute hair appointments, Marinette and Adrien shared intimate moments. For practice of course. They would lock gazes from across a room, they would hold hands while discussing a change in the flower arrangements, they would hug and kiss and hang off of each other whenever someone was looking. And then at night, when they retired to their bedroom and no one was looking, they’d hold each other as they fell asleep.
During the daytime Marinette could keep up the joking demeanor of their fake relationship, she could feel what was real and what wasn’t because everything fake was so incredibly exaggerated. But at night, when it was just her and Adrien in the darkness, it was so much harder to pretend that the line between real and pretend wasn’t blurred beyond recognition.
---------------- the day before the wedding ------------------
Their family and close friends flew out three days before the wedding and the rest of the wedding party was there in no time. Everyone was settled into the hotel, including the six billionaires that RSVPd yes: Antionette Saville, Henrietta Pearson, Orson Omond, Zachary Whittaker, Justin Rolan, and Auston Dennison. Marinette hadn’t been expecting all six to want to stay in the hotel, she thought they might stay in some mansion they had and then drive in for the wedding. But she was wrong.
The hotel was serving lunch to the wedding party, and Adrien and Marinette walked around to greet their guests.
Marinette’s parents were just overjoyed that their baby girl was getting married, they kept saying things like “we always knew you two would get together” and “you kids remind me of us”. They were incredibly sweet the entire time, and it was heartbreaking to know how disappointed they’d be when they divorced in two months.
Natalie, Adrien’s aunt, and Felix were a lot more serious about the whole thing. Natalie at least seemed passively happy about the wedding, but Adrien’s relatives acted like the entire thing was a political function they could care less about.
Their friends, of course, were all screaming balls of energy, They had all seen Marinette stumble around Adrien when they were younger, never quite having the guts to tell him how she felt. Some things never change. They all congratulated Adrien on getting over his obliviousness and congratulated Marinette for finally having the balls to marry him. They all said they always knew Adrien and Marinette would end up together.
The billionaires were all very lofty and powerful-looking, like they could rip your throat out and you’d apologize to them. They were all extremely nice though. As they talked, Marinette soon realized why so many of them wanted to come to the wedding in person: they knew Adrien. Gabriel was a huge brand and Gabriel himself had made friends with many of the world’s most influential billionaires, so naturally they’d want to come to his son’s wedding. Marinette couldn’t believe she’d overlooked the fact that Adrien was literally a world-famous model. She felt so dumb.
Before long, it was time for the rehearsal ceremony. Everyone walked out to the wedding venue first, which was mostly set up, and they were all told where to sit and where to stand and when to exit stage left.
Adrien had asked a priest in the area to officiate the actual ceremony, but the person running them through the rehearsal ceremony was one of the people hired to set the venue up.
“So we’ll start with the processional, We’ll have the mother of the bride, then the groom, then our bridesmaids and groomsmen.” He arranged everyone in their places in front of the arch that was acting as their altar. Then he guided Minou down the aisle and showed her how to toss flowers properly and then showed one of Marinette’s little cousins how to carry the rings.
Then Marinette walked down the aisle to the arch with her Papa and stood next to Adrien. He wasn’t wearing his tuxedo then, but she felt giddy excitement bubble in her stomach just picturing what the actual ceremony would be like. She grinned at him and he grinned back.
“The priest will do a little introduction and then get into the nitty-gritty of marriage and such. Now, I understand you each have decided to read a small speech to each other before the vows?” When they confirmed that that was, in fact, true, he continued. “Adrien will read his first, then Marinette. You’ll repeat the official wedding vows, exchange the rings, kiss, and then we’ll head on over to the reception.”
“Any questions?” There were none, and the entire wedding party headed over to where the reception would be, literally feet away from the actual wedding.
Marinette spent the rest of the night practically attached to Adrien, laughing when people teased her about being a clingy wife and kissing him whenever she could. If there were going to be this many people around them, she was going to keep using them as an excuse to love Adrien and have him pass it off as fantastic acting.
----------------- the wedding day ------------------------------
Marinette woke up on the day of her wedding feeling better than she had all week. Today was the day she was going to be officially married to Adrien - they would sign the documents during the reception. She tried to get up, she could already smell her Mama cooking something for breakfast, but Adrien pulled her back and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his nose in the crook of her neck.
“Last chance to back out, M’Lady.”
“Not a chance Agreste, that last name is mine… kind of.”
“But what if it wasn’t kind of?”
“You mean would I want to get married for real someday?”
“Yeah sure.”
“I mean yeah, I’d love to get married someday.”
“Me too. But like, what if that someday was today?”
Marinette was too smart to fall for his attempt at seduction and too timid to hope that he was hinting at what she thought he was hinting at. So she took the coward’s way out. “Someday is today, we’re getting married today, you dummy.”
She finally wriggled out his grasp to plant a kiss on his forehead. She headed down to the kitchen to find her Mama. She was making blueberry pancakes, just like she used to do when Marinette was little. Marinette sat down at the counter she was working at. “Ah honey I thought for your last day as your Papa and I’s little girl I would make you your favorite. Blueberry pancakes!” Her voice was happy, but it wavered a little toward the end of the sentence.
“Mama you didn’t have to! Thank you!” Marinette dug into the plate in front of her. She didn’t even realize until she had taken her second bite that she had started crying. She looked up at her Mama and saw that she was crying too. Marinette fell into her arms. “That boy better take such good care of you, I swear. I just still can’t believe my baby girl is about to start a family of her own.”
“Mama…”
“You don’t need to lecture me, I know he’d never treat you badly. That boy loves you more than anything, I can see it in his eyes. I just -” Sabine raised her head to look her daughter right in the eyes. “You found a good man, Nette. My baby girl, getting married, I can’t believe it.”
Her mother tucked her into another hug, even tighter than the first. Marinette cried quietly into her Mama’s shoulder. Maybe Marinette’s earlier assumption had some truth to it. Sabine had a special gift for reading people, she was never wrong. If her Mama thought Adrien was in love with her, then he was either a really really good actor or…
No. Adrien’s love, his real love, was impossible. There was no way he returned her feelings. Unless he did. She pushed those thoughts away and finished her blueberry pancakes, reminiscing with her Mama about her childhood and growing up. It was a perfect morning.
She was soon rushed away to hair and makeup appointments after Alya burst into the cottage and demanded her presence. Marinette didn't even get the chance to see Adrien again before she was whisked away. When she glanced at her watch, she saw that it was already 11:00 am, the wedding was in six hours. It was go-time.
At the salon, Marinette was lined up with all of her bridesmaids and her maid of honor, getting neat little updos. Marinette knew that she was supposed to have some pearls threaded into her hair as well, just to add to the blushing-bride effect. She was worried she’d trip and mess it up on the way down the aisle, but Alya assured her that she wouldn’t let that happen.
“You know Marinette, Adrien liked you from the beginning. Like even back in middle school. The two of you were just too oblivious to see it.” Alya started conversationally.
“Yeah, I’m so glad you guys are together, I was sure you’d both explode if it didn’t happen soon.” Rose piped up.
“You’re perfect for each other, it’s almost disgusting,” Alix added.
“I’m so glad y’all recognized that whole fake wedding thing for what it was and decided to get hitched for real,” Alya said to her more quietly.
“And what was ‘that whole fake wedding thing’?” Marinette asked, rolling her eyes.
“An excuse to date each other, duh!”
Marinette laughed.
Thirty minutes before the ceremony, Marinette was finally sitting in a secluded room in the cottage with her bridesmaids, putting on her wedding dress. She still hadn’t seen Adrien since she woke up. And even though everyone around her was giggling and conversing lightly, Marinette was trapped in her thoughts.
There was no way Adrien loved her. Even when she was Ladybug she had never been that lucky. Ever. He was just a really good actor.
He didn’t love her.
She was so distracted turning that phrase over and over in her mind that, before she knew it, it was time for the ceremony to start. It was time for her wedding.
She was the last one out of the cottage, her Papa was waiting to walk her to the cliffs and down the aisle. He was already tearing up. She linked her arm with his and together, they walked down the aisle. The music started, her flowing white dress brushed the pink rose petals laying in the aisle aside. She was floating, she could hear someone quietly sobbing, she could see people smiling at her. Everything was perfect.
Except she couldn’t bring herself to look at Adrien. She was afraid she’d look up into his eyes and all of her suspicions would be confirmed. That everything everyone had told her all day would be right. Or worse, she was afraid that she would look up and be dead wrong. That she would look up and see nothing but passive friendliness. Just a nice guy doing his best to help a sister out.
She probably should look at him, it would be weird if she didn’t. She dragged her eyes upward as she got closer and closer to the end of the aisle. Dragged them up from his shiny dress shoes to his tailored pants to his tie and the pink rose on his lapel. She stopped at his chin, he had a nice chin. Then she hovered at his mouth and his nose and his cheeks, but she couldn’t seem to get any higher than that. His eyes would break her, she knew it. She forced herself to look.
He was looking right at her, his eyes sparkling, and everything came rushing back to her. His eagerness when he first agreed to this ridiculous scheme, the way he kissed her during their photoshoot, the sincerity of his speech to her parents, the way he didn’t take his eyes off her at her bachelorette party, his constant kisses over the past two weeks, the genuine vulnerability in his questions on the morning of their wedding day.
It all clicked the moment she met his eyes. It was all so clear.
He did love her.
He loved her.
And she loved him.
They were in love.
And they were getting married.
Her Papa guided her to the archway and the ceremony started, but Marinette wasn’t paying any attention to anything other than Adrien. She had to find a way to make sure that he knew that she knew that he loved her. She needed to tell him she loved him. That everything was real to her and she wasn’t faking it. She zoned back in when Adrien started reciting the speech he had written for her.
“Marinette. The past couple of months, although chaotic, have been the best months of my life, and I can’t let you marry me until I tell you how much I love you. I love everything about you. I love your bluebell eyes and your nose and your hair, even though you don’t wear it in pigtails anymore. I love your incessant need to stay up until two am to sew, I love the macaroons you bake every weekend, I love your smile in the morning and your kiss goodnight. I love your strength and your stubbornness and your beauty.”
Marinette felt tears well up in her eyes. She didn’t need to hear anymore. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that he really loved her. His green eyes, wide and shining, were more vulnerable than she had ever seen them.
“Mari, my lady, my best friend. It was always real to me. It was always real. And when we’re married, I’ll spend every moment of every day loving you. I promise you that.”
The priest turned to her and gestured for her to make her speech. She realized then that the speech she prepared would be entirely inadequate. So she did what she did worst, she improvised.
“Adrien, mon amour. You’re my best friend and my first love. The last few months with you have been heaven and having you around has been a dream come true. You’re my favorite person, you’re kind and wonderful and understanding and perfect and I’ve forgotten my entire speech so just bear with me. I love you. More than anything. And it was always real for me too. Every moment of it.”
She got to watch the realization dawn in Adrien’s eyes as she finished giving her speech. His face was a question, and she answered it simply by nodding. Yes, this was real. Yes, she really loved him. And then he knew. His pure joy at the revelation was a sight to behold.
They exchanged rings, simple silver bands they had picked out together, and then said their wedding vows. Each “I do” was a prayer, another confirmation that they really did love each other, another promise to be together until eternity.
As soon as the priest said “you may now kiss the bride”, Marinette flung herself into Adrien's arms. He swung her upward before kissing her, just like he had during their save-the-date photo shoot, only this time Marinette didn’t fake the lovestruck expression on her face. The kiss they shared was long and lovely, and Marinette thought she heard someone wolf-whistle in the distance.
She couldn’t be sure though. Everything was fading into soft pastels around her and the only thing that mattered was spending the rest of her life with a man who loved her, and who she loved right back.