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Merlin was sitting on the tube and heard the clanging before he saw the reason for the clanging. At first he was worried maybe something was wrong and they were all going to be told to get off the train, but then he realized the clanging was coming towards them.
“Hold the door,” it called and wow people really looked like fucking idiots running in full armor. But then the man was on the subway and tried to collapse onto a seat, only it seemed like full armor didn’t let you collapse and the man just flopped against one of the poles. He then groaned in pain or relief it was really hard to tell. “Fucking hell, authenticity my arse.”
Merlin did what any sane person did when locked in a moving tube car with a man in full armor - he ignored it and went back to reading his book.
“Look, I hate to ask, but a piece at the back, isn’t sitting right, can you just…tug it?”
Merlin very pointedly ignored that. Flipped a page that he had not read, and it seemed the four other people in the car were doing the same.
“I will pay you twenty fucking pounds just to hit my back and snap it into place.”
Now Merlin was paying attention. He went over and paused. “Wait, this is real.”
“Trust me I am aware.”
“No, this is really real.”
“I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do, this is fifteenth century at the youngest! What the fuck!” Merlin started poking at the armor. “Do you have full mail on too?” He could see it, because the breast plate was mostly for show over top the work.
“Yeah, that’s how you are supposed to wear it.”
“Is it -” Merlin didn’t care, he saw where the piece wasn’t strapped correctly and quickly dismantled the over armor. He let out a sound so carnal, his best friend Gwaine wherever felt a shiver of high five for sex bro ran down his spine. “Twelfth century, oh god that I don’t believe in, this is twelfth century work.” He pressed his nose to the metal, and breathed in. He whimpered. “Twelfth century,” he whispered, and perhaps there was light petting.
And now he was the fucking weirdo on the car. Merlin cleared his throat. “With chain like this the breast plate is wrong. This is several different centuries of work slapped together by someone who didn’t know better.”
“Well they didn’t know better in the nineteenth century because that is when the hall of armor was completed in the house. Morgana told me I was wearing this to the Halloween party, so I did.”
“Fucking Victorians,” Merlin muttered, and knew Gwaine felt that in his soul and did a shot as he did every time Merlin said that phrase. He was honestly starting to worry about the man’s liver a bit. “You were muttering that you had to be authentic? Then leave the plate off, you have a gambson on under that too, yeah?” There was a nod. “Well you have to be fairly strong to be hauling all this about.”
“I do cross fit.”
Merlin snorted, “Of course you do.” He looked at the helmet. “That’s wrong,” and he reached out to take it off, but the man lurched back. “What?”
“Masked party, have to leave it on.”
“Even on the tube?”
“Yes, because also, I can’t get it off.”
“I see.” Merlin realized they were nearing his stop and grabbed his bag. “Well then, good sir knight, leave the plate off, and you’ll be good.” He got off and was headed up the stairs when he heard that clanging. “This is your stop?”
“No, I don’t know where we are? I can’t see very well, and I think maybe I’m lost. I’m supposed to be headed to Hyde Park, that was Marble Arch station right?”
“Wow, uhhh no.” Merlin had to stop. “We just got off at Blackfriars.”
“Fuck,” the man cursed. “Morgana is going to kill me for being late.”
“Your girlfriend will understand, I am sure.” He could hear retching under the helmet. “Shit, are you overheating, we need to get you out of that.”
“No, just the thought of Morgana being my girlfriend. Sister.” The man cursed some more. “I hate fancy dress costumes. We were perfectly fine not giving a shit about Halloween but no now we do. Why is Halloween now a thing? It isn’t supposed to be a thing here!”
“If it helps, still not a thing for me. I can’t even watch Casper the Friendly Ghost.” Merlin debated just running, not like the guy could chase him in all that. “Why wear the real stuff?”
“Because she wanted me to be King Arthur. It’s for charity, and she scares me. So when she told me to wear it I did. But I couldn’t wear it and fit in the car, so I told the driver to send word to her I was coming, and took the underground, but I take it so seldom I don’t know it well, and add in the helmet. I suppose I should be grateful I’m not farther away than I am.”
The man sounded so despondent. “I could see you to the party,” Merlin offered. He texted Gwaine that he wasn’t stopping by, that he had to help a knight in shining armor. He added a quick photo to prove it wasn’t a bullshit excuse like he usually gave when he just didn’t want to people. Gwaine said he was owed a damned good story even if Merlin had to make it up and to call when he got home after being a hero, because Gwaine was a champion fretter even if he refused to admit it. “Kay, my mates know not to expect me. So Hyde park?”
“You don’t have to help me.”
“You owe me twenty quid.” Merlin guided the knight and soon they were on the opposite platform. And Merlin couldn’t help himself. “King Arthur would have likely worn leathers as he is a potentially pre roman invasion figure.”
“Yes, I know. But armor is what people expect.”
“They also expect a sword, don’t got a sword.”
“Yes, because I am generally aware they don’t allow weapons on the underground. Never got your name.”
“Merlin.”
“Hahaha.”
“I wish, King Arthur, but sadly this is one of those weird life coincidence things. My name is Merlin, my mum is weird.”
“Mine’s dead.”
“Charming.”
“Sorry, I’m getting rather warm in all this. But Morgana said to wear the helmet lest my face scare everyone away.”
“That hideous huh?” Merlin nodded. “Makes sense, you sound like an absolute monster.”
“I was educated at the best schools in the country, my elocution is perfect.”
Merlin grinned, “see only complete monsters say things like that.”
“Why you-”
Merlin pointed, “train.”
The complaint was cut off and they were mostly silent as Merlin got the poor man where he needed to be. He seldom went to Hyde Park and he saw a section of it all done up in elegant Halloween decor. You had to have serious money and power to do this kind of shit. “Well here you are, good sir knight, rescued and delivered to your destination.” Merlin gave a perfect and correct twelfth century bow. “Enjoy your party.”
“You could stay,” Arthur blurted out. “I’ll need help getting home after.”
“And your sister couldn’t help you?”
“She’s running this, and she takes that seriously, she’ll be the last to leave, even after the garbage is cleaned up. I cannot social that long.”
That was a sentiment that Merlin understood. “Not exactly dressed for a Halloween party.”
“We’ll just tell them you are a broke student. Say bullshitty things that people still say when they are in school. Have an opinion on everything, that doesn’t seem like it would be hard for you.”
“I’m doing my phd, so I’m still technically a broke student.” Merlin glared at the man. “And besides, is insulting me the best way to get me to stay?”
“Extra hundred pounds. If you are broke, that makes it worth it. Plus the food will actually be good at this.”
“Arthur! There you are!” A woman in a beautiful and really anachronistic medieval dress came towards them. “You are late.”
“I had to ride the underground in armor, Morgana, things get delayed.”
“Well come on then, time to pull the sword from the stone.” Merlin watched as she dragged him away, and he was honestly impressed that she was able to drag that much weight. The man turned.
“Please,” he said as he was dragged off.
“Well, shit,” Merlin could never resist or deny someone who said please. He wandered on the fringes and luckily none of the rich people tried to stop him. He found his way to the bar and blinked. “Gwen!”
She was there looking gorgeous in a tuxedo and serving up drinks hard and fast. “Merlin, what are you doing here?”
“I was kidnapped by a man in armor. Since when do you bartend?”
“Since Morgana needed last minute help, and I resurrected some very old skills.” She poured him a whisky that he could never afford and winked. “You remember how much to fill a glass of wine?”
“Yeah,” he had been a shit waiter the one summer he tried, but he could pour a damn drink. He ended up behind the bar and he and Gwen slid seamlessly into working together, and occasionally someone shoved a tip into the jar at the end and Gwen promised him a cut. She told him that her business was doing well, he bemoaned his teaching skills, and who knows how long later he heard the clanging and Arthur collapsed against the bar.
“Gwen, love my life, please pour me something strong, and put a straw in it.”
“Arthur, you can tell Morgana no,” she said but got him the drink he asked for. “She might even listen.”
“You are the only person she listens to. Runaway with me, I’ll keep you in the lap of luxury, what can Morgana offer in comparison.”
Merlin snickered at the gleam in Gwen’s eyes. “I am thinking it is tits. Morgana offers tits.”
“Eww, Morgana does not have breasts, Merlin, what the hell?” Arthur made that retching sound again.
Merlin laughed, because winding up this Arthur was the most fun he had had in a long time. “Gwen, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. Promise, I’ll stop round more.”
“Percival is doing movie night in a couple weeks. Come.”
“Can I bring Morgana?”
“Sure,” Percival always had a more the merrier attitude for movie night. One time Gwaine had brought his whole park footie team.
“And you could bring Arthur.”
“I don’t even know what he looks like,” Merlin pointed out. He heard a thump and turned back. He stared at the helmet on the bar and then looked up. “Oh, why’d you have to be hot?”
“Because I am in several kilos of armor?” The man looked confused for a moment and then winced. “That was flirting.”
“Not really, more a well shit annoyance that I find someone who can do all this excess is attractive.” He gestured around, because seriously it was all so absurd.
“It was Morgana’s doing, I just pulled the sword from the stone.” An actual sword, was dropped on the bar as well and oh god, it was real. He moaned, and Gwaine somewhere was pleased at the turn Merlin’s night was taking. He’d usually be wrong, but this time he might be right, because he would absolutely fuck a guy who owned a sword like that on one condition. “Can you even use that thing?”
“Of course I can, I was bloody alternate to England’s fencing team last Olympics.”
“Rapier and that is different.”
Merlin swallowed as Arthur moved back and then did a few proper swings with it. “Right, Gwen, you need anymore help, I promised Arthur I’d help him get home.”
Gwen knew him well enough to understand he was sunk. “Go on, then.”
Merlin grabbed the helmet. “Let’s go. Where do you live?” Arthur gave an address that was over the top posh. Great. “One more swing of the sword?” the man even did the bloody wrist roll to loosen his grip. “Yeah, okay, we are good to go.”
“Go where?”
“Go back to your flat, where you will shower because you probably smell disgusting in all of that, then I’m going to fuck you until you forget your name is, what is your actual name?”
“Arthur.”
Merlin had to stop and look at the knight. “Are you serious right now?”
“I know,” the man’s hair was flat against his skull and he was pale and flushed from all that he had been wearing. And he was gorgeous. “I don’t random fuck.” The man was tense, waiting for Merlin to walk away.
“Okay, we’ll go to your absurdly overpriced and likely greige flat, you’ll shower because you are disgusting in there, and then we’ll have a coffee and get not random. If you like, I mean.”
Arthur smiled and fuck Merlin was fairly certain he could perform magic if it meant he’d get to see a smile like that. “I like.”
Two months later, Merlin opened his door, and Arthur stood there in the chain, sword clutched in hand, “Not random anymore,” he said and knelt like a knight to a king.
Merlin rolled his eyes, because his boyfriend was such a dork, and hauled him into his flat.