Chapter Text
The battle had not gone as expected. In fact, Prince Zuko was displeased that the battle he had planned for hadn’t even happened to start with. His scouting party was intercepted by what appeared to be Southern Savages from the Water Tribes. He had gathered intelligence that the Earth Kingdom may have made a deal with them to attack the Fire Nation ships that ran the coastlines and patrolled the trade routes to protect them from raiding parties. Though, he didn’t expect them this far inland which didn’t bode well for his men.
Their ambush came without warning after the six man team split up into groups of two to surround the perimeter and keep tabs on the enemy encampments. The warriors had moved just as silently through the underbrush as Zuko had, picking his way with familiarity through the forest as he followed Deirdre, an older more experienced scout among his men. He wasn’t on par with Reiki, but they were pretty close in skill, enough to gain respect from Zuko over the last six months.
Unbeknownst to Deirdre, the young green horned recruit that accompanied him wasn’t so green in the field as he thought. After giving his royal guard the slip back at his tent in their own encampment, Zuko donned his recently acquired scout armor and slipped into the ranks with ease under the false name of Li. His men were none the wiser, and Captains' Jee and Chen were unaware that he was absent from his tents, and wouldn’t know if all went as planned, as he often slipped back in in the morning without a sign to the contrary.
He had years of experience under his belt since he was thirteen and spent most of his days sneaking around the Palace to avoid his father and grandfather, or when practicing sword training with cousin Lu Ten and later, Master Piandao behind his father’s back. He had successfully learned how to track and hunt a target through the densest forests and how to slip into formidable strongholds without notice just out of sheer spite alone. It may have been part of the reason his father sent him on a suicide mission to reclaim some useless ground and suppress Earth Kingdom rebellions in the mountains as if this would make any change at all. The terrain was worthless for farming, there weren't any worthwhile resources in the earth for harvesting, the roads were incredibly dangerous and near impassible and it was a nightmare to turn this into a defensible position or a trade route. Even the nearby towns were useless to conquer because of so few people living there, and the rivers were impassable except by a very small boat which the Fire Nation would have no use for. Unless they suddenly took up fishing, which he doubted.
The Earth Kingdom was only holding the land out of sheer duty to protect what is theirs and that’s it. This was a test of stubborn wills and Zuko, despite being incredibly stubborn in all tasks, could see how absolutely impractical this all was. These scouting missions were primarily for grabbing intelligence and nothing more. He hadn’t intended for there to be any large-scale fighting except further inland where General Shinu and his Yuyan Archers were preparing an assault on a military fort near Omashu but that was several days' ride by Komodo Rhino and Zuko hadn’t received any orders to assist.
In fact, Zuko hadn’t received any more orders at all other than to wait and hold this position until his next orders. Which he has been doing for three months now. He has slowly been collecting meager intelligence from passing encampments and noting the enemy’s transport routes and troop movements, all of which failed to prioritize the pass they were supposed to be holding. So clearly there was a faster route around them that wasn’t being identified and Zuko was growing frustrated when every attempt to scout led to empty hands and rising tempers.
This scouting mission was hopefully supposed to end that stalemate once and for all, and he realized now, that he should have watched his words more closely when making those desperate silent pleas to the spirits. Their scouting party had been attacked by Southern Savages and they were unprepared for combat of this scale.
The warriors were much bigger and stronger than Zuko and his men. He may have had speed on his side, but taking a boomerang to the back of the head has stunned him enough to set his footing off kilter. His vision blurred as he raised his dao to block the swing of a club that connected with the blades. The force of the vibrations rattled up his arms causing pain in his hands sharp enough that he nearly released his hold entirely.
There were Earth Kingdom soldiers in their forest green armor blending with the darker blue tones of the Southern warriors. He swung his blade and drove it through the torso of an Earth Kingdom soldier leaving blossoms of blood blooming across the green tones before they spilled onto the ground. The heat of someone else's blood splattered his face and helm as he swerved under a club swing and rose to parry another sword strike. He disarmed the spearmen and drove them away from Deirdre, but the fight had quickly gotten out of hand as they were outnumbered and overpowered.
Deirdre had been disarmed and wounded. A blade strike to his shoulder left the entire arm useless. Zuko tried to fend them off, to shove the soldiers back as he stood over his subordinate with defiance.
“Private Li, stand down!” Deirdre growled, reaching out to grasp at Zuko’s shoulder. He stiffened as he searched the surrounding forest and heard similar skirmishes coming to a close and the pained shouting of his fellow scouts mingling with the uproar of enemy troops and their various languages.
He gritted his teeth as a warrior approached him, the one that had thrown the boomerang that knocked him off kilter. He wielded a club and was smiling in genuine amusement. It looked horrifying at first with blood smeared across his face and those bright blue eyes staring at him through a wolf’s head helmet. The red droplets were congealing against the grey, white and black war paint on his skin giving it an even more frightening edge to see staring back from the darkened forest.
“We lost this fight, Private. But we can live to fight another day.” Deirdre assured him calmly. Forced to concede to the man’s urgings, he sheathed his swords and held his hands out in surrender where the rest of the men could see them clearly. His stance over Deirdre didn’t relax, even as the iron shackles were clamped over their wrists and they were rounded up to be taken back to the encampment they had been watching for the past three days.
Deirdre and Zuko had been separated from one another after the grinning savage steered him away from the older man and towards a cropping of trees that was being used as a makeshift ostrich horse stable. His shackles were linked to a chain that was attached to the tree just out of reach of the animals but close enough to one of the nearby fires to keep light in their dark little corner. There was just enough give on the chain to allow Zuko to stand or sit as long as he remained close to the tree’s base. His swords had been taken and the savage had patted him down rather thoroughly for any remaining weapons. Not thoroughly enough to Zuko’s relief as his earth kingdom knife remained hidden inside his boot. It was small enough and tucked deep enough inside the ankle to make it hard to find and reach.
The camp was busy as Earth Kingdom and Water tribe troops moved throughout. He caught a glimpse of two more of his scouting party being paraded back through the camp by Earth Kingdom troops, but none of them came near Zuko. He had been left alone in his little corner illuminated by the half light of the campfire where the water tribe warrior had left him. He watched the bulky frame of the warrior come and go before settling down by the fire with a bucket of water and a rag to scrub the paint and blood clean from his face. He wore a different set of clothes that lacked the blood stains from the earlier fight, something light and befitting Summer better than the cool Autumn temperatures that were slowly slipping into the nights. His boomerang was still strapped to his back as he moved about the camp, occasionally fidgeting with it as he chatted with other warriors of his tribe. As he talked, their eyes would sometimes stray to where Zuko was seated causing him to bristle with frustration.
He tore his eyes away from the men, ignoring the crooked smiles and odd looks they were shooting his way. Zuko feared that they may have recognized him somehow and that’s why they separated him from the rest of his men. If they knew he was their Prince and commander, they were probably saving him for interrogation or to be used as a bargaining chip against the Fire Nation. Or maybe they had worse things planned. Torture wasn’t uncommon especially from the Earth Kingdom. It was cruel and sickening as they got even with the Fire Nation by breaking their prisoners through various forms of horrific treatment. Starvation, isolation, flogging, branding, crushing and the list goes on.
He’d heard similar stories of Water Tribe warriors drowning Fire Nation soldiers and watching them sink into the ocean as they flail desperately to reach the surface. Tying men together or to a ballast as they are dragged beneath the waves to face judgement from their spirits. It made his stomach tighten in fear. He was a good swimmer, that was for certain but Zuko was well aware that all it would take is fifteen Earth Kingdom pounds to sink a grown man regardless of size.
His fretful thoughts were interrupted when a shadow fell over him. He jerked and looked up, finding the grinning savage from earlier heading his direction. He had something tucked against his chest that Zuko couldn’t make out at first in the shreds of darkness, but after a moment he realized the man was holding a similar bucket to the one he had used and a clean rag in his other hand. There was a waterskin looped around his shoulder as he knelt before Zuko and held the bucket out to him. The water inside was clean as it sloshed around.
Zuko stared dumbly at it at first before looking back up at the soldier who held the rag out and gestured towards his face. It took a moment for him to understand what he meant, his brain quickly catching up to the meaning as he nodded slowly and accepted the offering. It was a little hard to remove his helmet with his limited range of motion with the shackles but once he did, the dark shaggy strands of his hair fell waywardly across his face. He cursed his lack of a ribbon or hair tie to wrangle it back into a proper topknot and instead carded his fingers through it to drag it out of his face long enough to scrub the blood and sweat away.
The warrior sat comfortably across from him, watching with mild amusement as Zuko washed. The faint amber glow of the fire danced towards them in the shifting shadows as members of the tribe moved about the camp and disrupted it with their idle routines. He tilted his head thoughtfully as the prince drew his hair back in damp streaks, exposing more of the dark burn that warped the left side of his face. It was old, from his childhood, a shameful burden he bore for the last eleven years that distanced him from the rest of his family. He was forced to hide it more often than not, even as he masqueraded as a scout, he never removed his helmet or revealed his face. And since most of his men had never actually heard the prince talk in person as most of his orders would be passed on through Captains’ Jee and Chen, they rarely saw the man on the battlefield or around camp. It made it easier for him to hide within his own ranks. But now, he had no use for hiding if these savages already knew of him.
The man stared for a long time. The smile he bore had been completely wiped clean as he studied the scarring. Zuko’s skin itched with anxiety at the odd attention he was given and shot a scowl at the warrior, startling him out of his thoughts. The man offered an apologetic yet awkward smile as he patted his chest and started to speak. It took Zuko a moment to realize that what was being said was a very horribly butchered attempt at Fire Nation formal language. A horrendous introduction.
“My name is Sokka, son of Chief Hakoda.” He introduced with what the savage may have thought was casual ease judging by the sideways smile and the warmth in his eyes. Then proceeded to ask, pointing at Zuko to get his meaning across. “Your name is Li, right?”
‘Okay so they don’t know who I am.’ Zuko didn’t let his sigh of relief show as he nodded slowly in confirmation. His thoughts wandered a bit as he considered what he knew so far.
He had only seen a total of three other scouts rounded up and captured aside from himself. Deirdre who led the mission, Sheng and Kit who were older and more experienced. Reiki and Beni were unaccounted for, and that left him as the youngest of the group and seemingly least experienced and the lowest rank present.
It was laughable to think that they may have separated him from the others because they didn’t think he’d have anything to offer in information due to his apparent youth. He was only twenty four but judging by the way Deirdre had ordered him down, the others may have gotten the impression that his small size (compared to them) and the commanding tone of Deirdre, had given off the wrong assumption that he was basically a recruit. It wasn’t his fault he was the smallest of the scouting party, though it benefitted him in the long run with being able to slip through harder to reach spaces and more flexibility than his companions, but it made it all the harder to get any respect from the older men who still treated him like a child.
Zuko sighed and scrubbed his palms tiredly over his clean face and massaged the burned portion over his eye thoughtfully. Sokka tilted his head to watch him in the poor lighting before making a surprising noise in his throat. The flurry of movements had Zuko dropping his hands defensively in front of him as the man scrambled to pull the waterskin off his shoulder and passed it over with a sheepish smile.
“Sorry.” He said curtly. “Water.” He passed the waterskin over to Zuko and gestured for him to drink from it. It didn’t take much persuasion for Zuko to oblige as he adjusted the waterskin in his bound hands and tipped it up to take one large gulp after another. The warrior looked concerned at the pace he was drinking, giving the waterskin a gentle tug from Zuko’s hands. He slowed and stopped, taking a deep breath as he came up for air. The man gave him a worried look that Zuko didn’t want to think too hard on and gave a small nod of appreciation for the water.
“Thank you.” His voice rasped lowly.
Sokka’s smile returned, growing brighter after a moment as he nodded.
For the remainder of the night, Zuko had been left to his own devices in his little corner as the soldiers moved through the camp. As morning edged closer, sleep claimed the occupants, including Zuko as he settled against the tree and dozed off. Sokka’s shadow remained by the fire, keeping it fed through the night and always watching him out of the corner of his eye. When the sun rose, he was stirred awake by the sounds of soldiers coming to feed the hungry ostrich horses that stomped their feet in anticipation for their morning grain.
The Earth Kingdom soldiers gave him strange looks as they passed, watching him warily as if he could leap out of the chains at a moment’s notice and accost them. They were twitchy and alert, while others looked frustrated and angry in his direction. Whether they were aware of it or not, they spoke in the less common Earth Kingdom tongue which Zuko understood, and could clearly eavesdrop on their complaints. Thanks to Uncle Iroh, he had been schooled on all forms of Earth Kingdom languages, from the common to the older and less used variations, as well as the Water Tribe language. He was less fluent in water tribe but knew it well enough to understand it even if some of the words did get tangled on his tongue and were hard to work properly in his mouth. Some of the sounds felt impossible to say and without a written alphabet, he sometimes struggled to imagine what these syllables looked like.
How could an entire people’s language be stored solely from word of mouth without a single written format? As far as he knew, they had adopted the Earth Kingdom alphabet for political reasons and nothing more. Their oral storytelling remained entirely unwritten and their navigational maps were primarily celestial charts and markings that made no sense if the reader didn’t understand the symbolism of the spirits important to the culture. Even their compass directions lacked an alphabetical symbol.
He was grateful for Uncle Iroh’s generous teachings on the Water Tribe’s and Earth Kingdom’s language as it benefitted him later on in his own endeavors but it was still frustrating to see and carry in his heart that should anything ever happen to the tribes, everything would be lost permanently. With no written record of their people, entire histories and cultural significance could be destroyed. As a soldier, that wasn’t something he was meant to worry about, but as a person who’s passion just so happened to be stories and plays, it was concerning to him on a sentimental and artistic level. He couldn’t imagine losing the stories he grew up being told by his mother every night. For something so important to be forgotten and lost to time.
The Earth Kingdom had no such problem to worry about. He grimaced as he shifted against the tree to get comfortable and listened to the soldiers bicker and complain as the ostrich horses ate.
“-so Hakoda’s son gets first pick and we are just supposed to ignore the fact he took a prisoner that should be interrogated for information?” One of the soldiers grumbled, a much larger man with a black goatee. His companion was slightly smaller with dark brown sideburns that reminded Zuko of Admiral Zhao, only he sounded less irritating as he agreed.
“Yes, because those were the orders.” The man grimaced as the ostrich horse bucked its head and sent grain spilling against his chest. He scolded the animal gently and swept the grain back into the bucket for it to continue eating. “From the looks of it, he picked out the youngest member of the group for his taking.”
“Why?” The first soldier asked the same question that’s been on Zuko’s mind all night.
The second man shrugged. “You know how the Southern Tribe is. Spoils of war and all that. The Chief’s son fought the guy last night and apparently liked what he saw.” Then the man lowered his voice and leaned towards his companion as he continued, causing Zuko to have to strain to hear the rest. “I hear they take prisoners back with them to their tribes to make them work as slave labor.”
The first soldier made a disgusted face at his companion as the second man added. “Or to warm their beds through the cold winters.” There was a snort of amusement as the two soldiers cracked into a laugh. Their eyes slid towards Zuko as he fixed a scowl in their direction, making it seem like he was just all around annoyed with their noisy presence so close to where he was imprisoned.
“I suppose without that scar, he may have made a pretty bed warmer.” The first man chuckled as he tilted his head. He held one hand up as if to cover half of Zuko’s face from view so he could get a better look at him then snorted. “I guess I could see the appeal. You know, if I was a savage.”
The second man sneered. “Small villages don’t have a lot to offer. They can’t be picky when the other option might as well be their cousins.” There was a bark of crude laughter that made Zuko bristle as he listened to these men banter and spew insults towards their allies. There were no water tribe warriors nearby to overhear the conversation but Zuko felt like it probably wasn’t one they were new to hearing. He had to wonder though, what the real reason Sokka had taken him was. They had fought against each other the night earlier but Sokka seemed to be the only one to land a blow between them. Zuko had killed, wounded and disarmed numerous Earth Kingdom soldiers before the water tribe warrior intervened and backed him into a corner with the element of surprise. Their ambush tactics were formidable. Sokka blended into the battlefield like a shadow, rising up only when the moment allowed for the opportunity for attack. Between his club and his boomerang, Zuko was unable to recover fast enough to keep them from being surrounded.
Sokka had danced and weaved him into a corner and won his spoils fairly as far as everyone else was concerned. If Zuko hadn’t been protecting Deirdre, he could have taken them on and evaded capture but he couldn’t leave the man behind. Even if it would have saved himself, he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself afterwards. And now he was chained to a tree like an animal and being treated like one on top of it.
He wasn’t really sure why he did it other than sheer boredom, but Zuko did it regardless because that was the type of person he was. After sitting at the base of the tree for hours and feeling antsy at being stuck in one spot for so long, he started to inspect the tree he was chained to, and the chain itself. He couldn’t escape it without something to pick the lock first but that didn’t mean he couldn’t move it. It wasn’t secured firmly enough to avoid being rolled up and down along the bark to adjust the height it was kept at. This allowed Zuko more comfort in lying down on the ground, or as he discovered, the opportunity to shove it up high on the tree until it reached the first sturdy branches where he could pull his weight and scale the sheer base without the necessity for handhelds. From there, he found a cozy perch in the branches where he was off the ground, had a better view of the camp and could actually recline without being stared at by the passing soldiers.
Of course, this caused a raucous of alarm when they looked over and saw the base of the tree absent of both its chain and its prisoner. Zuko was well aware of the shock that went through the camp as they started searching everywhere for him, none of which actually took the time to look closer at the tree. He pretended not to understand all the shouting that went on as people barked orders to sweep the camp and find prisoner Li.
Okay, maybe he was getting quite the amount of entertainment watching them scramble in a panic. They took their eyes off of him for two hours and now he got a day’s worth of amusement from it all. The cherry on top of it all, was when he finally decided to slither down the tree and seat himself back at the base with the chain back in its position and resumed his usual huddle with his knees drawn close to his chest and feigned sleeping. When one of the water tribe warriors came by, there was an impressive amount of cursing as the search ground to a halt. There was a lot of finger pointing and accusations of Earth Kingdom soldiers being blind and stupid, and more than a few fist fights breaking out before the commanding officers on both sides had to step in and diffuse the situation.
Sokka had apparently missed the whole ordeal when he returned later that night and inspected the chains that kept Zuko locked to the tree. He took his time examining the locks and the links for any give that may have implied he had escaped temporarily before returning. He gave the prince a puzzled look and Zuko shared his own confusion in return before he was finally given a reprieve from the scrutiny, along with a waterskin and a bowl of stew.
The man sat with him, watching him fondly as Zuko ate his meal and ignored the warrior with a scowl. His face only relaxed when his concentration would slip towards the hot meal only to be returned when he managed to remember he was supposed to be angry at his captor and not relishing in how good the food tastes and how long its been since he last had a meal this satisfying since he was given the orders to sit in that Agni damned mountain pass and not move an inch. He estimated it may have been after the first month of being stuck out here in the middle of nowhere, when their supplies were still fresh and abundant. Ever since, everything else tastes watered down or flavorless as supplies become scarce and limited in resources.
Later in the night, Sokka had taken up his usual spot by the campfire and kept an eye on Zuko. His gaze would lift to stare over the flames at the huddled form of the prince and shoot a smile in his direction. Zuko scowled back at him, annoyed that with the other man watching him as he was, he couldn’t shimmy up to his branch to get comfortable. The night dragged on and the morning inched closer, sleep started to creep in as Zuko sagged. The haunting howls of wolfbats stirred the ostrich horses into a panic before the beasts barreled into the camp. The warriors were quick to jump to their feet to fend the creatures off. Zuko was helpless to defend himself from the teeth and claws other than kicking at the beast’s muzzle as he shouted and cursed. He landed a good enough kick to send it sprawling across the dirt and grass, stunning the animal as it ripped a snarl from its chest. Its glowing beady eyes were terrifyingly reflected in the firelight as Zuko twisted around and shimmied quickly up the tree.
The beast was not deterred and flapped its wings as claws scraped into the bark of the tree to climb up after him. Zuko dug the knife from his boot and held it poised, slashing at the animal’s open snapping muzzle before it howled in agony. Its claws released the bark as it was dragged down the length of the tree by a hand twisting a tight fist into its fur and throwing it to the ground. Sokka stood at the base of the tree with his club poised, ending the beast’s life with a clean swing. He wiped the blood from his face with the back of his hand and turned his attention back towards the tree. Zuko crouched on the branch, wielding the knife in his grasp defensively as his heart thundered loudly within his chest.
Sokka gave him a curious look and smirked up at him. He held his hands placatingly towards Zuko and beckoned for him to come down out of the branches. Zuko refused with a shake of his head and sidled closer to the tree trunk where he settled in a semi-comfortable straddle. Sokka frowned and stared up at him for a long time before shrugging it off and turning his attention back on the dead wolfbat. The ostrich horses appeared to be safe from harm as the camp went about cleaning up the mess after the impromptu wildlife attack.
There was a sound of alarm as one of the Earth Kingdom soldiers pointed at the empty space on the tree but Sokka shrugged.
“He’s still there.” Sokka assured them casually in Earth Kingdom common tongue as he knelt over the animal before hoisting its bulk over his shoulder with a grunt. The soldiers stared at the tree and approached, giving it a curious once over, then another before they froze staring up at Zuko when their eyes met in the branches. There was a lot of impressive swearing followed by angry yelling as the men tried to get him to come down with equal amounts of threats involving bodily harm. Zuko wasn’t amused or persuaded and maintained his spot up in the branches where the men couldn’t reach him.
The idea of throwing rocks to get him to come down had entered the air, causing Zuko to scowl in their direction before a booming voice dragged their attention back towards the fire. “What is the meaning of this?”
Peering past the leaves that fanned out around him and helped conceal his spot, Zuko recognized the water tribe blues of the man. He had what the water tribe referred to as a wolf tail, similar to Fire Nation top knots with two braids on the side that were adorned in blue beads. He had a beard that reminded Zuko of Uncle Iroh’s and a tired expression that told the collective that the man’s patience was probably worn thin by now. He looked like he hadn’t had a proper night of sleep in months which the prince could sympathize with.
“Your son’s prisoner climbed up the tree and won’t come back down.” One of the Earth Kingdom soldiers spat in the common tongue. Zuko stared, realizing this must be Chief Hakoda of the Southern water tribe. He slowly approached the tree causing the handful of soldiers to part allowing him a chance to stare up at the prince as well. Zuko scowled and stared back with defiance, then spoke in the Fire Nation tongue more fluently than his son but still butchering the dialect.
“Does Sokka know you’re up there, Li?”
Zuko nodded. “Yes, he does.” Chief Hakoda looked at the bark beneath the branch and appeared to note the deep claw marks that gouged the wood and the blood stains that dripped down and spilled onto the ground at the base. The tension in his expression softened as he nodded up at the scout and turned to the rest of the men.
“I see no problem with this.” Chief Hakoda announced in the common tongue. When one of the soldiers tried to protest, Hakoda cut him off firmly. “If he wants to remain in the tree, then he can stay in the tree. It’s not like the tree is going to walk off with him.”
The soldiers stared after him before a bark of dismissal sent them storming off to their respective corners of the camp. Chief Hakoda lingered a moment, ensuring they were alone before he turned back towards the branch above his head and asked in Fire Nation. “Are you injured, Li?”
Zuko stared at him bewildered before he shook his head. Aware that it was still kind of hard to see him in the shadows, he voiced his answer. “No. I’m fine.”
“Good.” The chief affirmed and sighed. “If you need anything at all, you just have to ask for it from Sokka or myself. You are our responsibility now.”
Zuko considered this thought then nodded in understanding. Clear that the conversation wasn’t going any further, Chief Hakoda turned and left him to spend the rest of the night in the tree though sleep eluded Zuko until the first stretch of golden light along the horizon. The warmth chased away the cold night air and the shivering that the dew left behind, allowing him the chance to drift off in a light doze.
They were moving. The entire camp was moving and Zuko found this out when the soldiers started shouting orders to each other. He squirmed restlessly in the branches of the tree as he watched over the soldiers coming and going from the camp. Sokka approached with a bundled up pack resting on his shoulders and stood at the base of the tree with a waterskin hanging from his hip and a bowl in hand. He held it up towards Zuko as if to coax him out like luring a fire ferret out of its den. Zuko stared down at him distrustfully as Sokka called up casually.
“Come on down, Li. I’ve brought breakfast.” Zuko watched him, skeptical of his efforts. The easy sideways smile never left Sokka’s face as he waited patiently. When the prince never made a move from his spot, he shifted his weight and pouted. “You’re hungry aren’t you?”
The answer was yes, but Zuko was stubborn as he kept his spot up in the tree.
“You can’t stay up there forever, you know.” Sokka teased, turning to lean against the scarred bark and staring out at the rest of the camp as if this were an entirely normal occurrence for him. Zuko rolled his eyes as he opted.
“Your Fire Nation is horrible, you know.” His voice was snippier than he intended but Sokka only snorted in amusement.
“Your words are so weird.” Sokka groaned. “It’s hard to work my tongue around them.”
Zuko shook his head at that but allowed a small smile to curl the corner of his mouth. Eventually, Sokka tilted his head up to peer at the prince. Zuko tilted his head to stare down at him and frowned. “Your breakfast is getting cold.”
Zuko bristled when Sokka’s smile grew the moment their eyes met. He tore his gaze away and stared out at the rest of the camp. “What’s happening?”
Sokka didn’t turn his attention away from the prince as he spoke, keeping his voice low as he explained. “The water tribes are leaving.”
“What?” Zuko’s alarm was sudden as he turned towards Sokka. The other man didn’t appear bothered by the rise in his volume and simply nodded.
“Winter is coming. If we don’t go back home soon, we won’t be able to safely return. The ice makes it hard for the ships to come in.”
“What’s going to happen to me? To the other men you captured?” He needed to know, to understand just how screwed he was and what to prepare himself for. If he was being left in Earth Kingdom hands….well, he hoped not considering all the soldiers he killed in that fight and the looks the men have been giving him since Sokka took him aside.
Sokka peered back up at him and beckoned for him to come down once more. “You’ll be returning home with my people.”
“And the others?” Zuko asked slowly, not budging an inch from his branch.
Sokka sighed and lowered his hands. “They’ll be taken up the coast to another camp then transported to an Earth Kingdom prison.” He scratched the back of his neck. “The water tribe will escort them there personally then make their way back with the rest of the fleet.”
“Why-” His voice hitched as he swallowed down the question he wanted to say. ‘Why am I different?’ But all he could think about was what those soldiers had said about Water Tribe customs and taking prisoners from their battles. He curled up more on the branch and tucked his arms around his knees, tensing to maintain his balance as his thoughts steeped in worry.
“Li.” Sokka started gently. “We don’t have much time before we have to leave. You can either come down and do this peacefully, or it could get messy. I’d rather we keep things peaceful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” There was no threat in Sokka’s voice, only a pained and determined tone to make him understand. They could theoretically force him out of the tree and it could end up very painful for him. Zuko didn’t have any intention to end up knocked out of it in a way that’ll have him hanging by his wrists from a branch or nearly breaking his neck. He certainly would rather avoid taking a blade to the gut in the process if he could manage it. With quiet resignation, he begrudgingly started to climb down from his spot and reluctantly greeted Sokka’s tired smile at the base of the tree.
The bowl he held had inevitably grown cold but Zuko didn’t really care for whatever the mush had been. The waterskin was gratefully accepted as he drank his fill and turned back to Sokka to hand the skin over. Sokka accepted it and gave him a once over.
“Where did that knife go that you had last night?” Sokka asked slowly, extending his palm expectantly.
Zuko stared at him for a long time, mouth gone dry with nerves as he considered whether or not he should actually give it up. He averted his eyes to stare down at the ground instead and fidgeted. “I could always search you again.” Sokka hummed in amusement. “I don’t think you’d want that though. It’s still a bit chilly out and we’d have an audience.”
Zuko recoiled at the implication and caught the barely concealed smile on Sokka’s face. It was a flash of teeth in response to the prince’s flustered expression as he glared the warrior down. Sokka crooked his fingers as he prodded him gently. “Come on then. Give it up.”
“You wouldn’t really.” Judging by the look on the warrior's face, the answer was yes. Sokka would in fact strip search him if he had to. And given their current positions, he would have every right to do so to an armed prisoner. Zuko ground his teeth in frustration and reached into his boot to pull the pearl dagger from where he had hidden it. Sokka watched him closely as the weapon was placed into his grasp.
“Anything else I should be aware of?”
Zuko shook his head.
“Are you certain?” Sokka asked, giving him another once over that caused Zuko to take a cautious step back until the bark of the tree was flush against his spine as he ground out.
“I’m being honest. That was all I had left on me!” He blurted, feeling a spike of anger surge at the incredulous tone in Sokka’s voice. The man considered him for a long time before shrugging.
“Alright. I’ll take your word for it. If I find out you lied to me, there will be consequences. I have a duty to maintain the safety of my people.” Sokka reminded, allowing Zuko one last chance to give up any more weapons he may be hiding on his person. Zuko only scowled harder.
After a moment more, Sokka turned to pull a length of rope and a leather strap from his pack. Zuko glared daggers at the man when he realized what it was exactly.
“You have to be joking.” Zuko blurted angrily as Sokka adjusted the rope and corrected the way the strap was meant to go. “I’m not wearing that.”
“Yes, you are.” Sokka stated matter-of-factly then leaned towards him to slip it around Zuko’s throat. Zuko leaned away and put his hands up in the path of the warrior’s and shook his head.
“No. I’m drawing the line there.” Zuko said firmly.
“I’m afraid you don’t really have much choice in the matter, Li.”
“At least allow a man to have some dignity left.” Zuko retorted, his voice rising in anger. “It’s bad enough I’m your prisoner and now you want to treat me like an animal!”
“It’s just until we reach the ship.” Sokka maintained his cool in the face of the prince’s rising temper. “Or I could just toss you over my shoulder and carry you like a sack of rice.”
“Why?” Zuko demanded. “What is the point in all this? Why did you even take me?”
Sokka stared at him for a moment, a conflicted jumble of emotions crossed his face so briefly that Zuko couldn’t make sense of it. Mostly Sokka looked frustrated and annoyed before he closed the space between them once more, ignoring Zuko’s questions.
“The sooner we leave and head for the ship, the sooner I can take it off of you.” He said instead. Zuko’s attempts to shove him off were fruitless as his hands were dragged down the body of the tree when Sokka kicked the chain keeping him in place and forced it too low for Zuko to pull against. With his hands out of the way, the prince couldn’t avoid the leather strap as it was buckled around his throat and tightened just enough to be snug but not choking. Sokka wound the rope at the end until it was tied firmly around his wrist then worked the shackles free from the tree.
“Are you going to behave or should I bind your hands behind your back?” Sokka asked slowly, the tension wound between them as Zuko scowled even harder at the man, ignoring the burning in the back of his throat and the discomfort of this new humiliation creeping along his skin. He didn’t say anything, just slumped in defeat when his hands were released from the tree. Sokka took the lack of answer as answer enough and gently pulled at the end of the rope to coax him into following. Zuko kept his attention on the ground between them, the rope allowing for only a few paces of distance as he was paraded through the encampment before all the eyes of the soldiers and warriors present. He didn’t lift his head, or dare to search the busy throngs of soldiers packing up to leave for any sign of his other men. He just followed blindly after Sokka’s footsteps as they moved away from the noise of tents being taken down and wagons being packed.
Their footsteps grew quieter as they moved through the forest, accompanied by the lighter steps of other warriors all taking the same path towards a river. There were a dozen small boats waiting for them to take them down stream towards the sea. There were three other men in the boat with Sokka and Zuko. The prince had been settled between Sokka and a man by the name of Bato who gave Zuko a strange look before tearing his eyes away. The other two men rowed them along after packing the small boat with various supplies. They cut through the calm water seamlessly, keeping quiet as they traveled to avoid detection.
When they did speak, it was in their native tongue, attempting to exclude Zuko from the conversation as they discussed plans for departure and talked of their home. The men mostly talked about food and loved ones, which caused the prince to harbor his own painful longing for home. His thoughts strayed to his Uncle Iroh and cousin Lu Ten. He wondered how his mother and Azula were doing and if the servants were caring for the turtleduck pond in his absence.
He wondered if Reiki and Beni had reported back to Captains' Jee and Chen about what transpired and if they had discovered his alarming absence yet. Did they pull back and force a retreat from the pass? Did the Water Tribe and the Earth Kingdom attack the encampment?
The answers would follow soon after those thoughts haunted him as Bato and Sokka discussed the information the Earth Kingdom general had relayed to them. They knew the Fire Nation prince was stationed in the pass and their intentions were to capture him. When they attacked the encampment head on, they found no sign of the prince as his men made a hasty retreat, already packing up to leave. That’s how the water tribe discovered there were more scouts than they had known and they reported back. The grand assumption was that the Fire Nation prince was a coward too afraid to face them head on.
Zuko wanted to shout at them, to bristle and curse and thrash in his restraints and tell them they were wrong, but the only thing keeping him intact was the cold hard fact that they thought he was Private Li, an unfortunate Fire Nation scout who was captured and taken prisoner by the water tribe for an unspecified reason.
He was at least relieved to know there weren’t many casualties as many of his men had fled from the fight and had stayed long enough to allow the wagons to get a head start before retreating to another point further into the mountains. The Earth Kingdom currently didn’t have the resources to give chase especially with the water tribes leaving for the winter. Their tactics apparently relied heavily on the tribe’s skill set with ambush tactics, traps and guerilla warfare.
Zuko felt sick by the time the boats finally stopped and reached their ships. The acrid taste of bile crawled up his throat but he forced it back down and focused on breathing slowly. He squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the sound of water tribe words as their boat waited its turn to be unloaded and hoisted up onto the ship. As he waited to be paraded onto the deck like cargo and stored somewhere in the hold for the long voyage to the south. Everything he knew would be gone. His life, his freedom, all of it was quickly slipping through his fingers and he couldn’t stop it from vanishing like smoke in the wind. A part of him wanted to cry, to mourn the loss of everything he was being torn away from, but another part of him refused to show weakness before the enemy. It made him blink away those tears and raise his chin high because he will not be cowed into submission.
He’ll think of a way to escape and then everything will be alright. He’ll go home with the rest of his men and they’ll tell this story for years to come. He’ll settle down with a cup of Jasmine tea with Uncle, watch him play pai sho with Lu Ten and read a play scroll as he relaxes into a comfortable chair beside the fire. Everything will be fine. He just had to keep his head up and be on his guard.
Chapter Text
Private Li of the Fire Nation was a very interesting individual. Sokka was immensely pleased with his decision as he watched the man for the last few days. His impromptu vanishing act that had the entire camp scattered in a panic for most of the day had been worth a laugh, even more so when Sokka realized how exactly he managed it in the first place. Of course he maneuvered the chain up the trunk of the tree to get the high ground. Sokka probably would have done the same thing if he were in Li's place. The man was mischievous and intriguing even if he spent most of his time scowling and glaring at everyone and everything.
Sokka had hoped he might relax some on the ship, but that didn't appear to happen. He was just as tightly wound up as before, even after the warrior removed the strap from his throat and allowed him the freedom to roam his private cabin. It was across the hall from his father's cabin, with a bed fit for a single person to sleep comfortably covered in various furs and blankets. There was a single port hole and a desk which was currently tidied up as all his maps and correspondence had been put away. Between the bed and the desk there wasn't much space for movement. His sea trunk was latched at the end of his bed and there were some light decorations from home hanging on the walls. It was small and cozy.
Li apparently didn't think so as he sat awkwardly on the floor and stared over at Sokka with a look that held murderous intent. Sokka chuckled at that and patted the bed invitingly. The man stiffened and stared at him with wide eyes that made the warrior blink a few times in confusion before he elaborated.
"You look tired. It's still early enough, why don't you get some sleep?"
Li resumed his icy glare and still hadn't spoken a word to him since he forcefully collared him back at the camp. Sokka suspected he should have been prepared for this kind of reaction even if it was a bit dramatic in regards to what had been done. He had tried to do it the easy way, but Sokka was beginning to realize that easy didn't appear to be part of Li's vocabulary.
"I promise I won't do anything to you while you sleep. I'll even take your shackles off for you." He coaxed gently. "You want them off, right? They can't possibly be comfortable."
Li's gaze dropped from glaring at him and softened when he looked down at his wrists. The hopeful look in his eyes was heartbreaking, like trying to regain the trust of a wounded polar bear dog. Sokka was determined to tame this wild fire ferret he had more or less adopted into the tribe.
After a minute of contemplation which Sokka waited patiently for, Li eventually scooted closer to the bed and hesitantly offered his wrists to the warrior. Sokka chuckled and patted the bed once more. "Come on up here for me." He rose from his seat to collect his pack from where it had been deposited on his desk and dug out the key from one of the small pouches. Li was uncertain as he moved to sit, looking uncomfortable and skittish as he waited for Sokka to take the restraints off.
Sokka knelt in front of him so they were eye to eye before taking the chains in hand. He gave them a thoughtful tug before adjusting their position to get at the small lock on each cuff. It put them in close proximity so he could meet Li’s eyes without him drawing away or avoiding him. He heard the way the soldier’s breath hitched in his throat and how his body tensed beneath Sokka’s touch, going rigid like stone. There was a flicker of something in his eyes, like fear or apprehension. Sokka wasn’t surprised to know the man didn’t trust him but this felt like it may go much deeper than just being enemies. He smiled reassuringly as the cuff fell away with a quiet click that Li seemed rather pleased with. Only once the shackles were completely removed did he move to massage his sore wrists and offered the first words Sokka had heard from him since they left camp hours ago.
"Thank you." It was too quiet in the close quarters of the cabin but Sokka smiled as he tucked the shackles and their key away inside his sea chest.
"No problem. Now get some rest." He urged the soldier with a tired smile of his own. "And behave, alright? I took those off of you out of good faith. You've been honest with me so far."
The soldier nodded hesitantly before looking down at the bed. His fingers burrowed into the thick layers of fur, relishing the softness and warmth they provided after the days of nippy nights. Li looked like he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in months which considering what little they knew about that encampment, they might not be too far off in that estimation.
Li looked up at Sokka thoughtfully, a flash of worry in his own eyes as he tensed and gave the warrior a once over. "Where will you be?"
Sokka wasn't sure whether to be concerned or amused by the question, so he chose the latter and smiled disarmingly. Hiking a thumb over his shoulder at the door he answered coolly. "I have a meeting with Chief Hakoda so I'll be right across the hall. If you need anything, just knock but don't go exploring the ship. You're my responsibility and I'm allowing you this freedom. I'm trusting you to stay put, promise?"
Li appeared put off by that explanation. He seemed like the skeptical type as he stared incredulously at Sokka, jaw gaped in confusion before he snapped it shut and clenched it. He bristled at the warrior before sagging in tired defeat. "I won't go anywhere." He admitted after a moment, pawing a hand against his face with weariness as he dragged the scattered hair from his eyes.
Despite the gruesome scarring on the left side of his face, Sokka had to admit, he had a handsome sort of charm to him, once he got past the feral growly parts of him. The way his golden eyes shined even in the lantern light of the room made them burn like fire. It was eerie and hypnotic, causing Sokka to stare more than was probably comfortable for the soldier but he couldn’t really help it. He’s never seen a man with eyes like Li’s.
"Good!" Sokka exclaimed a bit too loudly judging by the flinch from Li at the sound. He raised a brow in question but Li only scowled and looked away, focusing his attention back on the furs beneath his weight.
Aware that no more conversation will come of this encounter, Sokka slipped out the door and shut it quietly behind himself. His father's door was a few feet in front of him and already opened a crack allowing the soft light of lanterns to glow from within. He could hear Bato and Hakoda talking amongst themselves as he knocked at the frame before pushing the door open wider to peek inside.
"Sokka!" Hakoda grinned up at his son and beckoned him in with relief. Sokka stepped inside and shut the door, shooting a similar smile towards his father and Bato. They were leant over Hakoda's desk looking at maps and letters that were scattered across the wood surface in a confusing array of clutter that had a minor method to all the madness. When he entered, they straightened up and greeted him warmly.
"How's Li doing?" Hakoda asked after a moment, brow furrowed with worry. Sokka sighed.
"He hasn't tried to stab me yet so I take it as a hopeful sign."
Bato snorted. "He'd have to find something to stab you with first."
"He did." Sokka stated casually as he meandered towards the desk, earning a look of concern from both men as they gave him a cautious once over then stared at the door. Sokka waved a dismissive hand as he continued. "He'd been armed since we captured him. A knife hidden remarkably well inside his boot. He never used it until the wolfbats attacked the camp."
Hakoda gave him a startled look. "He used it on the wolfbats?"
Sokka nodded. "The one that chased him up the tree. Before we left, I confiscated it. He gave it up willingly."
"Interesting." Bato hummed, shooting another worried look towards the door. "And he is doing what right now, exactly?"
"Probably sleeping in my bed." Sokka shrugged, earning a snort from both Bato and his father. "I took the restraints off but made him promise not to leave my cabin except to come to you." He nodded towards Hakoda who gave an understanding nod back as he folded his arms over his chest and sighed.
"Sokka, you know he's not a polar dog you can bribe into loyalty. He is an enemy scout with a sense of duty to his people." Hakoda reminded him but Sokka wasn't worried about it. He trusted Li to keep his word. He has an odd way of getting upset when it's implied he doesn't. It feels personal in a way that is entirely too honest and that’s something Sokka could work with for now.
"He's more like a feral fire ferret than anything else." Sokka offered with a snicker. "Maybe if I feed him enough, he might attack on command."
Bato chuckled as Hakoda shook his head in amusement. "You trust him."
It wasn't a question but Sokka nodded. "I do. There's something about him that feels right. I felt it when we were fighting and I can still feel it now."
The two men shared peculiar looks with one another, before turning their attention back to Sokka, who frowned at them like some secret had slipped in and he missed it. “What?”
“Nothing.” Bato grunted and gestured at the desk. “Mind giving us a hand with these maps?” The deflection was obvious but Sokka was too tired to huff about it so he relented and leaned over the desk, adding a third head to plotting their route back home in the fastest way possible while still hitting a few important ports along the coast before departing for good.
Their planning took the good part of an Earth Kingdom hour before Sokka was able to drag himself away with tired eyes and a small nugget of satisfaction at their accomplishment for the day. Hakoda and Bato shared his weariness as they turned in for the evening after securing the shifts for the rest of the night. When Sokka returned to his own cabin, he peered inside with a quiet inquiry, opening the door slowly so as not to startle Li as he peeked in at the soldier. He was amused to see the man curled up huddled under the furs and woven blankets, lost to the throes of sleep and right where Sokka left him. He looked younger, more relaxed as sleep consumed his face and left it slack and half burrowed into a pillow.
Sokka sighed, reminded of the promise he made to the soldier as he dragged his bedroll from his pack and laid it out in the small cleared space between the bed and the desk. Getting comfortable, he shed his boots and slipped inside with a quiet sound of discomfort in his throat as stiff joints stretched and popped as he relaxed onto the hard wood floor. It wasn’t the most ideal place but he’s certainly slept in worse places and in worse circumstances. If giving up his bed for a few days to another who looked like he needed the sleep more meant a minor discomfort then he could live with it.
Three days. Private Li slept for three days. Sokka only managed to rouse the man from the dead sleep long enough to deliver food and water, eventually coaxing him out long enough to stretch his legs in the amount of time it took him to do his business before he crawled back under the furs with half lidded eyes and a slackened expression. Sokka tried to talk to him but he only managed noncommittal grunts and other incoherent sounds of possible affirmation. The warrior had grown worried that the man had been stricken with illness since their departure from camp, but by the time they neared the first port in their preplanned stops along the coast, Li had stirred awake far more alert and cognizant than he’d been in days.
Sokka was relieved to see him moving about with more energy and a determined stride as he trailed after the warrior in their short walks between places below deck. He still wasn’t allowed above deck yet but Li kept his promise to follow Sokka’s every order and was often rewarded for his efforts with more leniency from the warrior.
The other men in the crew were skeptical about allowing Li so much freedom, being relieved of the chains that kept him complacent and moving freely about the ship. How easily Sokka took to leaving him alone and unsupervised in his cabin without a single ounce of doubt or paranoia that the soldier will abuse his trust. They were mostly shocked at the fact that, despite being given every opportunity to do something against them, to arm himself or steal or fight, Li failed to meet their expectations. It was baffling.
How did Hakoda’s son manage to tame their feral little fire ferret? He still snapped, snarled and growled at them when they poked, prodded and teased, or so much as looked in his direction with wayward glances and curious stares. Yet, that’s all it was. Just dark scowls and bitten off noises of warning to keep their distance. They respected his boundaries and he stayed in line without causing any notable problems for them all. It was bizarre in the very least. He wasn’t necessarily docile by any means, just incredibly tolerant considering the circumstances of his situation. He was a captive in enemy hands and he was just going along with it as if there wasn’t much issue with that. It put most of the men on edge, had them looking over their shoulders with disbelief and wary glances. They were all tense, waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did.
They finally made port. Sokka had left for Hakoda's cabin to address a few concerns regarding supplies, and scraped together enough spare coin to get their newest addition to the crew some weather appropriate clothes. By the time Sokka returned, he was greeted with a strange sight.
His cabin was empty.
The door was still locked.
Li was nowhere to be seen.
The porthole was open.
Groaning inwardly, Sokka raced to the deck and spotted the dark silhouette of a figure creeping through the crowded docks. They hadn't even been docked long. Half the crew had gathered at the railing to watch as Private Li slipped through the crowd like liquid though he lacked the benefit of being inconspicuous in regards to appearance. He still wore the bed rumpled dark clothes that screamed Fire Nation soldier and had the misfortune of looking very out of place among the Earth Kingdom travelers in their dark greens and earthy browns.
Descending the gangplank, he crossed the dock to give chase. Li had apparently been paying attention enough to be wary of water tribe blue in the crowd and spotted Sokka almost immediately, stealing his element of surprise right out from underneath him. The chase that followed had been interesting as Sokka tracked Li through the streets, tailing his dark clothed figure and pale lean frame as it weaved through the crowded streets with the ease of someone used to slipping through harder obstacles. He slid under carts and leapt over vendor stalls with liquid grace, hoisting himself fluidly upon the rooftops as he scaled walls and stonework to get to higher ground. He moved fast, calculating his destination as he attempted to slip Sokka's sight.
It almost worked. Almost.
Sokka scaled his own vantage point as he grappled some construction scaffolding and hoisted himself up enough to catch Li's direction. He started towards the forest at first but veered away at the last minute as he turned for the beach. He assumed the dozen or so burly Earth Kingdom soldiers guarding the perimeter may have influenced that decision. Either that, or he was trying to mislead Sokka. Either way, the warrior took his chance, plotted his course through the maze of streets and buildings, and cut the soldier off.
From the deck of the ship, Hakoda and the rest of the crew had a pretty good view of his son's attempts to recapture their prisoner. Sokka may have vanished easily in the crowded streets but their prisoner, Private Li, had a surprising knack for the acrobatics as he took to rooftops where they had a clear vantage point against him. He climbed, scaled and hoisted himself over obstacles with the ease of a pygmy puma and rarely showed any hesitation in his course.
Hakoda couldn't tell if he was that quick at assessing his environment or if the poor man was simply flying by the seat of his pants with nothing but gut instinct and spite to fuel his footsteps forward. He jumped, flipped and rolled. He shimmied along drain pipes, scaled chimneys to get more height before throwing himself to the next rooftop and rolling out the momentum, he balanced on laundry lines and leapt off awnings that were utilized as safety tarps for his falls. When he took to the ground, which was rarely, he sprinted like a storm was on his tail and didn't look back. He made a break for the shoreline which puzzled him as to why that was his course of action. Why come back towards the water if there was no escape? It didn't make sense.
Realistically, the crew could help Sokka in his task but that would require Sokka to first request help and for the crew to assess the situation on whether or not he actually needed it. If his life was actively in danger, then they would come to his aid, but this little game was a fond one many of them had partaken in. The escape of a prisoner reflected on the warrior responsible for their safety and capture, and the prisoner's own skills and mindset. They respected a prisoner clever enough and quick enough to avoid being recaptured. They marveled at their creativity and ingenuity. It made the voyage home more entertaining and brewed fond stories to be told when they returned.
Of course, there was always a limit to these games. It was all in good fun as long as no permanent and life threatening harm was done. And in return, they didn't force cruelty on the prisoners they recaptured. There was still a level of respect and human decency there. This was simply all in good fun and nothing more.
Some of the most entertaining and determined prisoners they've taken into the village in the past have become worthwhile members of the tribe with loving families and a very supportive community. A few of the men had accompanied them on their raids, proving to be strong warriors and trustworthy brothers in battle. The women were dedicated to their people and fiercely protective of the children and their homes. It marked them as someone worth fighting for, someone they wanted to keep, someone they could admire and respect and who could help their villages grow and improve. It made them better as a whole.
Sokka managed to catch up with Li when he reached the stretch of shoreline. The rocks and sand worked against the smaller man’s fleet footwork as he slipped and slid on the slippery unsteady terrain. He nearly wiped out entirely when he skirted too quickly to a halt to avoid Sokka’s looming figure as he lunged in front of the soldier.
Li cursed under his breath and jerked back, falling back into the sand as he landed on his butt with a thud. He scrambled back up quickly to get his feet under him, kicking his legs wildly in the motion to knock Sokka to the ground instead. He wasn’t expecting the move and hit hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs with a startled noise. He recovered quickly as Li stepped back, hands ready for a fight. Sokka held his own up to placate the soldier into calming down, still panting from the race to keep up with the man. He was unfairly fast and from the looks of it, he was barely winded which was also very unfair.
“Li, stop.” He said cautiously. “I don’t want to have to fight you.”
The soldier scowled at him as he pressed between his teeth. “Unfortunate for you.” He took a wary step to the side as if he were hopeful Sokka would just let him skirt around him and continue running on his way. Sokka resigned himself to the reality of the situation.
“I will if you force my hand.” He warned. “You’re my responsibility.”
“Let me go and you won’t have to worry about that any more.” Li countered, taking another step as he edged along the sand.
Sokka shook his head. “Where will you even go? If the Earth Kingdom catches you, you’re as good as dead.”
Li snorted at that as if Sokka had just shared a rather hilarious joke. Typically he would preen at getting such a reaction from his prickly prisoner, but this wasn’t a joke. Li had killed enough Earth Kingdom soldiers in their fight to warrant aggressive retaliation. If anyone recognizes him as Fire Nation, especially a soldier of all things, he’ll see a quick escort to the executioner's block or something much worse in the hands of the Earth Kingdom prisons. There was no doubt that Li was good at fighting and also evading capture, but Sokka still couldn’t risk it.
“Li.” Sokka spoke sternly, trying to gain the soldier’s attention but the other man only growled and kicked at the warrior. He sent sand flying in his direction startling Sokka momentarily before a flurry of punches were thrown. Sokka held his arms up to protect his face as he took the brunt of them, tensing his core when a fist met hard muscle and retracted with a hiss. He crowded into Li’s space and caught an arm, moving his feet with him as he weaved around to tuck it behind Li’s back and steer him towards the ground. He was met with a boot to his shin as he cranked the soldier’s arm further up his back.
The man hissed a curse past his lips that was more fitting from a sailor’s mouth than a scout’s. He wasn’t expecting the man to back into him until their bodies were flush together or the feel of a thumb pressing into the nerve along his groin. Pain shot through his abdomen and into his thigh as he loosened his grip on Li’s arm. He was met with a high kick to the ribs that put some space between them again. Li tried to lunge away and dart forward but Sokka was quick to chase after him, grappling at the back of his tunic as he dragged him through the sand. There was a struggle, a lot of kicking and cursing before they both ended up on the ground.
Sokka was lying on top of him trying to control the hands that grabbed at his face and clawed at his hair, tugging it out of his wolftail with painful pulls. Snatching at Li’s wrists and pinning them above his head, he pressed him into the ground harder.
The sneaky little bastard managed to get enough leverage squirming around to drag his knee up high enough to cram it between their bodies and land a rather impressive hit to Sokka’s groin. He groaned loudly and stiffened as Li squirmed to get free, bucking and kicking as he twisted his body to slip out from underneath Sokka but the warrior had more bulk and size on the smaller man, allowing him the chance to properly straddle Li’s waist once he recovered from the low blow.
“It’s over.” Sokka huffed, panting heavily with sand and sweat clinging to him from their scuffle. Li looked to be in a similar mess with his hair in disarray over his face, grains of sand dusting over the scar on his cheek where it scraped the skin. His voice softened with weariness as he urged. “Just give up already, Li.”
“Would you if you were in my position?” Li challenged.
Good point. Sokka sighed. “Fair enough.” He looked around the beach thoughtfully, taking a moment to collect his thoughts and plan. “How about I make you a deal?”
Li’s struggles ceased as he turned his attention to the warrior. His eyes narrowed with suspicion as he listened. It was the best Sokka was going to get out of him apparently as his scowl grew with hard lines of impatience.
“Come back to the ship with me without fighting me, and I will fulfill one reasonable request to bring you something back from the market. Anything you want, within reason of course.” He tossed his head back towards the port to punctuate this promise.
“You’re rewarding me despite my escape attempt?” Li looked baffled by this.
“Consider it more of a peace offering. You promise to behave and you get something out of it in return.” Sokka reasoned.
“What’s the catch?”
Sokka shrugged. “No catch really. You stay put, I get my errands run, you get something out of it, then we continue on home. Simple as that.”
Li glared. “ Your home.” He reminded harshly.
Sokka sighed. “You know, my home isn’t that bad.” He chuckled. “You ever see the South Pole before?”
“No.” Li answered flatly.
“This is your free ticket to travel and see it then.” Sokka grinned, loosening his hold on Li’s wrists a little but not enough for him to start fighting and thrashing about again. “What do you say? We have a deal?”
He took a minute to contemplate the offer before reluctantly nodding. “Sure.” Sokka smiled broadly and shimmied off of Li so he could drag the man back up to his feet and dust the sand off the both of them. Li scowled when Sokka’s hand came to rest on his shoulder to steer him towards the ship, taking care to remain on his unscarred side as he did.
The walk back to the ship revealed the amusement of their audience as they stared after the two men approaching the docks. Li was quiet as he trudged through the sand and listened to the slap of the waves that pelted the shore without a care as to the quarrel that happened near them.
The soldier kept his eyes down towards the boards of the dock and remained that way until they reached the deck of the ship where Hakoda and many of the crew had watched their scuffle. Sokka marched Li back to his private cabin then shut the door behind them.
“Here, strip out of those clothes.” Sokka directed as he knelt to dig through his sea chest. Li whirled on him with a strange look on his face, his eyes suddenly angry as he paled, shooting a look of disbelief at him. Sokka ignored it for the moment until he found a spare pair of trousers that would fit the man well enough. Trying to find a tunic that wouldn’t swallow him up would be harder. He pawed around a moment more before directing a stern look at Li.
“Strip.” Sokka repeated, wondering if he misspoke. He was pretty certain he said it right.
“Why?” Li challenged venomously.
Sokka stared at him for a moment as he gestured at the man. “You’re filthy and I don’t want you getting sand all over the furs.” He tossed the clothes he collected towards Li as he continued. “Here, you can borrow these for now until I can find something that’ll fit you.”
The dawning realization that washed over Li’s face was concerning as he stared at the blue fabric bunched in his arms. He sagged in relief which took Sokka a moment to catch on. “Wait- what did you think I was making you do?” The growing horror in the warrior’s voice couldn’t be mistaken as he watched Li pale then turn red in the face. Sokka’s own face warmed quickly at the sudden averted gaze from Li and the way he fidgeted uneasily with the clothes. His eyes didn’t meet Sokka’s and he didn’t move to take his dirty clothes off.
Sokka swallowed thickly, mouth gone dry as he made a half step closer to the soldier. The cabin was already relatively cramped for one person, even worse with two, but the tension in the room made it suffocating to endure as he spoke, his voice firm and serious.
“Li, I would never do that to you.” Sokka assured him. Li stiffened as he stared down at the floor and bunched the fabric into his fists. “I would never do anything to you without your consent, aside from-” He gestured at their current situation. “But that’s because you’re my responsibility which means your safety and your wellbeing is always on my mind. I know you don’t want to be here and I don’t blame you for running away. But know you will never be treated cruelly for it unless you seriously harm another person to do so.”
Sokka swallowed. “And even then, there are rules. There is a code. We treat our prisoners with the same respect we’d offer our own when the rules are broken.” Li started to relax some as he listened, his fingers relinquishing their stranglehold on the pair of trousers. “Do you understand?”
Li nodded slowly in confirmation.
“Li, I need to hear you say it.” Sokka stressed the importance of these words.
“Yes sir.” It came out quietly, just a clipped sound almost too low for Sokka to hear were they not so close together. He sighed, allowing that for now as he gestured towards the clothes again.
“Get changed and think about what you want from the market. I’ll be back in a moment. Stay put.” Sokka doubted he’d need to stay and keep watch over the man in case he slipped away again. He looked shaken and pale, his earlier fight drained out of him as he stared at the fabric and really let what the warrior was saying sink in.
Sokka offered him the privacy to get changed, and when he came back, Li’s dirty clothes were heaped on the floor and the soldier was seated on the edge of the bed looking too tired and too small. There was quiet resignation in his contemplative stare that pierced the wood of the wall. His eyes only dragged away when Sokka was fully in the room and shuffled the length of chains hanging off his shoulder down the length of his arm. The man looked conflicted as Sokka let one end pool to the bed with an iron cuff.
“It’s just an anklet chain.” He explained as he went about securing the base to the frame of the bed where it couldn’t be slipped off. He turned towards Li and held up the cuff portion. “Privileges are revoked when trust is broken.” He reminded. “Any prefered ankle?”
There was enough length in the chain for Li to move around the cabin. It stopped short of the doorway, just enough for him to open the door but not cross the threshold. In the rare case there was an emergency, he could shout for help in Sokka’s absence. Li stared at him with frustration before offering his left leg to be cuffed. Sokka had to shove the overly long pant leg up the man’s calf so he could secure the cuff in place then took a moment to roll the pant leg up comfortably so it didn’t catch and bunch on the chain.
“There.” Sokka straightened up as he moved the length of the chain around so it didn’t tangle on anything. “Decide on what you want from the market?”
There was a long pause as Li drew his knees to his chest and crossed his arms over the top where he buried his face into them. It made him look far younger than he was as he resumed staring at the wall, drowning in water tribe blue. “Jasmine tea.” It came quietly, before he added. “Or- or ginseng. I’m not really sure what kind of tea is common in this part of the Earth Kingdom.”
“Tea?” Sokka chuckled warmly. “I don’t see why not. I’ll keep an eye out.” He bent to scoop up the filthy clothes and bundled them into his hands as he added. “Need anything before I leave?” Li shook his head. “If you change your mind, you can reach the door and call for Chief Hakoda. He’ll be around in my absence.”
Li nodded his quiet understanding and tucked his knees closer to his chest. Sokka felt a bit guilty for leaving him like this but he had errands to run and Li needed his own clothes. He glanced down at the dirty tunic and sighed. “Behave while I’m gone.”
Another silent nod of assurance. Sokka had to tear himself away from the pitiful display and force his footsteps out the door. He wasn’t expecting to run into the knowing eyes of his father as he clicked the door shut and turned towards the deck. Hakoda offered a sympathetic look but Sokka shrugged it off with a tired smile and walked past. “I’ll be back soon.”
“We’ll be waiting here.” Hakoda patted him on the shoulder, warm and firm as it lingered to give a small squeeze then drew away and headed for his own cabin.
Chapter 3
Notes:
Thank you all so much for the amazing feedback for this fic. It means the world to me that everyone seems so excited about this concept. I was actually really hesitant about it at first because I didn't exactly know if it would interest anyone but started writing it for myself for starters. My fiance encouraged me to post it in the end. So here we are. ^.^
Chapter Text
Sokka knew he had promised only one reward as a trade for Li’s obedience, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit bad about their earlier conversation and the strange assumptions the soldier had made regarding Sokka’s interests in him. Not that Li wasn’t an attractive man, Sokka would agree with that sentiment. He was different from everyone else he has met, fiery and unpredictable in the best way. He was strong, bold and brave. He was creative in a fight and considered tactics Sokka would have never thought of. Those nerve strikes really hurt and left him bruised and sore later on, which made him hope that one day he could coax the soldier into teaching him about it. It was effective for close combat when he could only rely on hand-to-hand. Against a larger or more skilled opponent, they were very useful.
Li was peculiar in his own ways and Sokka enjoyed that part about him, but he was also practical and sensible. He took to the rooftops to avoid easy capture, he broke Sokka’s line of sight to derail his pursuits where the warrior normally wouldn’t have been able to track him, if Sokka hadn’t taken to the high ground as well. He assumed that veering for the beach was meant to trip Sokka up. Perhaps take his footsteps to the wet shore where the waves would erase his tracks. For La’s sake, the man slipped out of a porthole to escape. Sokka was nowhere near small enough to succeed in that feat, and he was astounded to know Li had done so, successfully and with as much liquid ease as a fire ferret slinking through a fence.
He was hard to manage but honest to his word. If Sokka forced him to promise, he seemed to hold onto it when self-preservation would have dictated otherwise. He was honorable to a fault, more than most Fire Nation soldiers he’s encountered.
Despite all of this, Sokka refused to do anything that could be mistaken for him taking advantage of a man unwilling, or that any potential willingness from Li should he share those same inclinations, might actually be an act of self-preservation and not genuine consent. So even though Sokka really really liked Li, their encounters were purely of a platonic nature. As far as Sokka is concerned, until next Spring when the thaw hits and the Festival comes, he will be nothing more than Li’s caretaker.
Which meant right now, his attention was fixed solely on gathering clothes and other supplies for his prisoner. Sokka had taken Li’s outfit with him, after giving it a quick wash, hoping a tailor in town would be able to make four outfits roughly in the soldier’s size. After discussing it with the older woman, he purchased two winter outfits made of thicker material such as wool, a cotton Autumn outfit and a more comfortable Summer one made of thinner more flexible material. He had decided the Summer one would be in black, knowing that a South Pole Summer was still chilly compared to Caldera’s hotter, more tropical climate. The rest were in various shades of Water Tribe blue.
They were expected to be in port for two more days, which allowed the tailor enough time to make the appropriate alterations to the generic outfits she already had prepared on her shelves to better fit Li’s lean figure. With that done, he wandered the market in search of tea, finding a merchant who sold it in decorative tins that looked like Pai Sho pieces painted across the tops.
He purchased two canisters of Jasmine which were in a Jasmine tile tin, and one container of Ginseng that had been tucked inside a white flower tile that Sokka didn’t really recognize. Sokka wasn’t really knowledgeable on Pai Sho but it was apparently a very popular game in the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation. It was often found in tea houses for the public to play while enjoying their drinks. The warrior always associated it with older folks who often settled down at the tables and had the patience and concentration to focus on such a complex strategy game. He wondered absently if Li knew how to play if he liked tea so much that it was his only request.
Perhaps they could pick up a pai sho set at another port and Li could teach him how to play. It would make the winter months pass faster with something to keep them occupied. Along with the tea, he purchased a small personalized tea pot for Li to have for himself when they reached home, which came with two decorative tea cups to match. They were both a white color with little green dragon designs painted across them as if dancing around the circumference of the cups. Sokka lingered around the market, picking up various snacks from vendors. A few fresh fruits and a bag of hot cinnamon candy.
Satisfied with his haul, Sokka mentally ticked off everything he had come to get as he headed back to the ship. As far as socks, scarves and mittens are concerned, they’ll need to wait until they reach the village where Li could get proper Southern clothes fit for the weather. These Earth Kingdom reproductions couldn’t compare to a nice pair of tiger seal mittens or a mink fur scarf.
Li was dumbfounded when Sokka presented him with the pai sho themed tins of tea and the small teapot set he had brought with him. The soldier was baffled as he accepted the tins and peeled back the lid with a hesitant pop of metal and breathed in the scent of the Jasmine tea. His body relaxed where he was still seated on Sokka’s bed and placed the lid securely back on the canister. He picked up the container of ginseng and traced the lines of the white flower with familiarity and warmth burning brightly in his eyes. His face slackened in thought, his mind apparently far away as he ignored the tea set and focused intently on the patterns.
There was clearly a story here, something strongly sentimental by the longing that danced in those golden eyes. The way he fixated on the patterns and the tea. He didn’t look like he had any intention of actually drinking it which amused Sokka greatly. He leant back, settling his weight against the edge of the desk as he watched the man for a long time. He was afraid to make a sound or move, worried he would shatter the surprising calm that had settled over the soldier. Eventually Li dragged himself out of it, eyes widening (the right more so than the left) as if just realizing Sokka was still there. He frowned down at the containers as he shook the lingering tendrils of what just transpired, away, and then sighed.
“Thank you.” His voice was a soft rasp between them as Sokka nodded.
“You’re welcome.”
The day had been long and both men looked tired as Sokka ushered Li to bed. He collected their things from the shopping trip and placed them on the desk to be sorted through later when he had the mind to offer it, and rolled through their nightly routine of heading to sleep. Li kept the bed, more so now that he was chained to it, and settled in to get comfortable. Sokka remembered the fruit he had picked up earlier and passed the sweet melon over to the man while he laid his bedroll out on the floor.
Li stared at the fruit thoughtfully, digging his nails into the hard rind and looked lost until Sokka took it back and cut it down the middle for him to get at. Li took half and shoved the other half towards Sokka when he offered it to the soldier. Settling down onto his bedroll, he enjoyed his snack and suckled the sticky sweetness off of his thumb.
“Do you know how to play pai sho?” Sokka asked around a bite of the bright yellow melon and sank his teeth into the softened flesh as juice dripped along his bottom lip before his tongue could sweep it away.
Li raised a brow at that and swallowed his bite properly before speaking. “Sort of. My Uncle taught me.” He gave a small shrug at that. “I was never one for sitting still in front of a board.”
Sokka could see that. He smirked and turned his attention back to the fruit. Li looked like he had his own question but decided to dismiss it as they ate in peace. They passed the waterskin around for a quick drink then turned out the lamps in the cabin to settle in for the night. Sokka had kicked off most of his blankets, feeling a touch too warm in the stuffy cabin while Li burrowed beneath his heap like a hibernating platypus bear.
Okay, the spirits had to be messing with him, clearly. There was no fucking way this was real. Sokka had returned from the port with the clothes he had purchased for Li and was side tracked into Hakoda’s cabin to address a travel inquiry and a few adjustments to their future plans. Hakoda, Sokka and Bato all heard the noise as they were preparing to leave the port. The men were readying the ship to depart. The crew was busy, but that sound was not a normal noise on a ship made of wood that utilized rope for all of its rigging.
That was the sound of metal being snapped in a manner that made all their heads snap up in alarm. They turned their attention towards the doorway, waiting a few heartbeats before the pounding steps of feet raced by. Sokka burst through the door in time to see Li’s lean figure dart through the passage and head for the deck. There was shouting and alarmed cries as the soldier broke free and reached the topside. Sokka was hot on his heels as he stormed up the steps and found the soldier standing, surrounded with arms raised protectively and prepared for a fight. His eyes were sharp as he glared down each warrior who turned, just as bewildered as Sokka felt, at seeing the soldier standing there drowning in Water Tribe blue, hair a tangled mess around his face with roughly two feet of chain hanging off of his left ankle. He had been carrying it in his hand until he reached the deck and now let it sag by his feet to defend himself better.
Sokka most certainly wasn’t expecting the soldier to whirl on him with a kick already prepared when he tried to call the man’s name. The chain swung dangerously in his direction and slammed into his ribcage. It felt like a whip across his side, heavy and crude as the air was knocked straight from his lungs. He managed to get his arms up in time to protect his face before any further attacks continued. The men around them were caught between the desire to help and knowing their rules. This was Sokka’s responsibility. He was the one to handle his prisoner. If he needed help, he would ask. Anyone else getting involved would increase the risk of them getting hurt and Sokka would be forced to punish Li for his actions.
“Li, stand down.” Sokka barked the order but the soldier was unphased as he twisted away from his grasp when the warrior lunged forward to try to subdue him.
The soldier shuffled away, maintaining a comfortable distance from Sokka as each time the warrior approached, Li would kick out at him. The chain would catch on his legs or wrap around Sokka's ankles to trip him up or whack painfully against his shins. It wasn't thick enough or heavy enough to leave major damage, just painfully annoying to get near. Li knew how to use it against him too as he skirted near the railing closest to the docks. Sokka wasn't sure where exactly he planned on going once he was off the ship. Chained as he was, it would be even harder for Li to flee without being spotted and drawing unnecessary attention to himself. He was still determined to try.
His legs were powerful but Sokka had enough years of hard fought experience in ignoring danger and taking stupid risks. He watched as Li grew more desperate in his attacks, forcing Sokka off when the chain went above the waist or wrapped painfully around his thigh. Timing was key as Sokka moved into Li's space and watched the chain fling in his direction. He held his forearm up to catch the links, letting them wrap around his arm with the force of the kick. Li froze as Sokka grappled the chain, ignoring the burning sensation in his arm and the very large bruises that were certain to litter his body tomorrow, and gave the chain a firm tug, dragging him away from the edge of the ship rail. Li fell flat on his back with a shocked cry, curling forward enough to avoid hitting his head on anything in the process. He kicked with his free leg at Sokka but the warrior had already backed off, using the length of the chain to gain distance before wrapping it around both ankles to secure his feet together. He tugged on the links to tighten them and met the angry glare shot up at him from the bunched up blue fabric that gathered around his face.
Li did little more than squirm to try and wiggle free, even baring his teeth in warning to bite when Sokka pulled him up to his feet. The warrior gave a stern warning. "Unless you'd like a muzzle, don't." His voice was low as it hung between them. Li considered the warning before rescinding his growly expression. He didn't relax or even cease his struggles but at least biting had been taken off the table.
It may have sounded harsh and dehumanizing but Sokka has seen enough infections at the end of bite wounds to take it deathly serious. They didn't have the luxury of easy medical aid should such an injury be inflicted and an infection of any kind was enough to kill a man out at sea.
Collecting his feral fire ferret, he accepted the squirming bucking package of a chained soldier and hefted him over his shoulder and back down to his cabin. Hakoda and Bato had both been watching from the threshold leading up to deck, eyes wide with surprise at the purpling bruises that littered Sokka's arm and hands from the chain. He imagined his legs looked far worse for wear as he walked them to his cabin. The concerned glances from his father weren't helping him to get his head on straight, even after he shoved his way back inside his room to find the broken chain still attached to the bed and no clear source of how Li managed to break it in the first place.
He dumped Li back onto the bed and watched the soldier scramble back towards the wall near the headboard with wide cautious golden eyes. He looked spooked which was even stranger than Sokka expected to find of a man performing a daring and baffling escape attempt while the entire crew had been on deck.
"I assume you know this means you've lost more privileges, Li." Sokka stated firmly as he stood boldly beside the bed, looming over the soldier. "Like privacy for instance. That was a luxury I've provided you until now."
Li didn't speak. He didn't even open his mouth to protest this declaration. He just sat there in silence, glaring at Sokka as if he'd somehow mistaken everything that just happened and made a rash assumption. It was beginning to irritate him, this lack of responsiveness from his prisoner. The startling silence. The strangely charged and aggressive looks shot his way as if Sokka was the problem all along and not the man who turned jail breaking into a side hobby.
"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Sokka asked, but he only received that same wild eyed look as before. It was a look that ticked off a twinge of familiarity. Like the soldier wasn't actually seeing Sokka. He had shoved himself back into the corner defensively and bared teeth in a warning or a grimace. His eyes darted around the room anxiously, searching for an escape once more.
"Li?" Sokka asked gently this time, concern heavy in his voice as he took a step forward. The soldier stiffened, every muscle tightly coiled in his body, ready to bolt or strike. His expression seemed all wrong, he looked like he was far away in some other place.
Sokka held his hands up to placate the man but this only seemed to agitate him more, so instead he took a few steps back and sat down in the chair by his desk. Li was still just as tightly wound as before but his eyes slid away from Sokka and turned to something more interesting than darting around the room. The more interesting thing appeared to have been a blank spot on the bedding as he seemed to be lost in thought as he stared down at the heap of furs as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.
Sokka waited quietly, patiently, as he watched the soldier slowly over time, start to sag as the tension bled out of him. His expression softened to something exhausted and sleepy eyed as he blinked more frequently than before, tiredly as if his eyes were bothering him. His head lifted a fraction as he snuck a peek around the room, appearing confused and twitchy as they met Sokka's relieved expression when the soldier looked to be acting more like himself.
"Li?" Sokka tried again.
There was a flicker of recognition in the man's eyes at the name. He tilted his head as if in silent question.
"Are you alright?" Sokka asked slowly. He watched the man's brows furrow in confusion before providing a hesitant nod. He still looked a bit hollow compared to his usual self, like he was slowly reclaiming whatever had happened to the rest of him. Sokka was content to wait it out longer if need be. The ship had shoved off from port already and they were headed out to sea until the next stop on their list.
A quiet knock came at Sokka's door, drawing his attention as he beckoned. "Open." Li had jumped at the sound, startled then wary when the warrior permitted entry. He squeezed himself further back against the wall like he expected to be attacked at any moment. Sokka was caught between wanting to comfort the man and not knowing whether his attempts would be wanted.
The head that popped into the room was his father's as Hakoda peered in tentatively.
"Everything alright in here?" He asked, noting where Sokka was seated comfortably versus where Li had crammed himself into the corner with narrowed eyes directed darkly at Hakoda.
"Yeah." Sokka assured easily. "Need something?" He didn't miss the skeptical look his father gave him but it was shadowed by greater concern as he slowly nodded.
"Can I speak to you for a moment?"
Sokka tore his attention away from his father to address Li now. The soldier was still watching Hakoda like a hawk until Sokka spoke. "Li, stay put."
Li tensed as his gaze snapped to Sokka's before nodding his affirmative. Sokka rose stiffly from his seat feeling the ache in his legs and ribcage from where Li got him good. It took a test step or two before he could stride towards the door and pretend he wasn't shuffling around like an old man.
Shutting the door behind himself, they moved into Hakoda's cabin but left the door open a crack so Sokka could listen out for any movement from Li. His father moved towards his desk where he sat on the edge and settled a knowing look on his son.
"How are things really?" He asked more pointedly now.
Sokka folded his arms over his chest as he worked an answer around in his head. He sighed heavily when he didn't know what to say.
"I don't know." He finally admitted. There was a pause as he worked the words around a bit then heaved them out before he could second guess himself. Perhaps his father could offer some advice on the matter. "Li isn't acting normally."
His father raised a brow at that, urging Sokka to continue his explanation. "How so?"
"He just-" How was he supposed to describe what was happening with the soldier? He didn't even know where to begin. "I don't think Li knew what he was doing when he tried to escape earlier."
Normally Hakoda would have had a comment regarding that claim, an amusing witty retort but the Chieftain must have noted the gravity of that statement in Sokka tone. There was something deeper to this. So he stayed quiet and let his son continue.
"I don't think he was aware of what was happening around him. He was just acting as if on instinct. He didn't even respond to his name, only a perceived threat." Sokka unfolded his arms as he began to talk with his hands, gesturing towards the doorway when he mentioned Li. He sounded worried as he struggled through trying to explain something he himself didn't understand. "He's still not quite himself but he's slowly coming back I think. He recognizes his name and he reacts when I talk to him at least."
Hakoda waited until Sokka fell quiet again before offering up his own thoughts. "I've seen something similar to what you've described. It's common among soldiers I think. Largely seen in the Earth Kingdom. The war does something to a man, Sokka. It breaks him. It follows him wherever he goes even when he's surrounded by peace and safety."
"Is there a way to help him then?" Sokka asked, voice strained with desperation.
Hakoda sighed, shaking his head regretfully. "I don't know. Just be patient with him is all I can say. You've done good so far, Sokka. You noticed when others might not have."
Sokka nodded in understanding as he relaxed a little. His shoulders sagged as he ran a weary hand through his hair and grimaced before resuming his attention on his father. "What else did you want to talk about, Dad?"
The grim expression on Hakoda's face didn't bode well as the man turned to pick up a report from his desk and held it out to Sokka. Sokka took it in hand and quickly read over it, feeling as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water on him. His eyes widened at the news.
The prisoner ship that was transporting the three other Fire Nation scouts had gone down in a storm a day away from their destination. Only two members of the Water Tribe crew had survived and were rescued by a fishing vessel that had been passing through after the storm's end. They reported that all three prisoners had been lost in the storm.
Sokka felt the weight of the loss of his countrymen lying heavy on his shoulders, but now he carried the burden of bearing this bad news to Li as well. The man was in no shape to hear something like this but he needed to tell him regardless. Sighing, Sokka handed the report back to his father and waited for anything else. When nothing more to discuss came, Sokka turned to leave and spotted the bags of clothes he'd forgotten about in his haste to intercept the soldier. Scooping them up under his arm, he vacated Hakoda's cabin and returned to his own.
Shoving the door open, Sokka was startled to find Li was sitting in lotus form on the bed, the large tin of ginseng tea settled in his lap with the lid off and balancing on one knee as he traced the white flower pattern with his fingertips. He took calming slow breathes, drawing in the scent of the tea deeply before slowly exhaling it out again. He looked more relaxed than he'd been in days.
"Feeling better?" Sokka inquired as he kicked the door shut behind himself and stepped towards his desk to deposit the mound of clothes onto it. Li perked up to give him the usual amount of attention warranting a thorn in his side which felt far more fitting for the man. Sokka tucked the thought away that maybe the tea might actually help as something to think back on in the future. For now, he managed to snag a more pleasant distraction from the grim news that was still rattling around in the back of his mind.
"Look, new clothes." Sokka gestured at the bundles he set on the desk. "Figured you could wash up and try them on."
Now that seemed to get Li's attention. The man jerked up when he heard the word wash and the bright hopeful look in his eyes was totally worth it.
The downside of living on a ship was the obvious lack of a bath. They had to resort to a bucket and a rag, the cold water warmed slightly with the help of a kettle until it was barely over lukewarm. Sokka wasn't lying earlier about the lack of privacy now, especially after seeing Li so out of sorts in the aftermath. What had started as a necessity for security was now a reason for Sokka to fret even more about the man in his care. He sat at his desk seat and sorted through the clothes as he piled them into their own heap so that the outfits remained together. Occasionally he would glance back to check on Li as he stripped out of his borrowed clothes as he washed with a small hunk of soap shaved off of a larger bar.
The first glance back had been quick but after the third one, Sokka's eyes lingered on his prisoner a bit too long. His jaw gaped in shock at the roadmap of scars that littered the man's body. Sokka understands this is war and all, but Li had more scars than the average warrior intersecting the lean musculature of his torso.
White slashes on his arms and legs looked defensive against blade strikes, there were old scrape wounds in long stretches from falls or like he'd been dragged across the rough ground. He had smaller puncture shaped scars along his torso that reminded Sokka of arrow wounds or small blades like a dagger or a jagged piece of debris. What really drew his attention were the very obvious whip marks across Li's back. They were long and dark but old too. Old in a way that made Sokka's stomach clench tightly as he imagined a teenage Li being chained up and punished for something he did. The thickness of the strikes made him wonder just how bad they were when fresh, what had Li done to deserve them?
Sokka knew that both the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom military had a very strict code of conduct and would punish their soldiers accordingly for any acts of misconduct. The Fire Nation had been mentioned as being the worst offender of this mindset between the two.
'Spirits, he must have just barely been a new recruit when this happened. '
Sokka grimaced, unable to tear his eyes away from how the dark lines arched up over Li's shoulder and wrapped around his hip. There were three darker more obvious lines but the more he stared, he could make out thinner white lines underneath it all, far older and more faded than the ones on the surface. He couldn't tell if those were whip marks exactly or something else entirely, but they were there.
He had similar wounds on the back of one thigh and dark tracks of old injuries like he'd been stabbed in the leg, as well as had rope burns around them. Maybe a scout lived a far more dangerous life than the average soldier but this was ridiculous. This man was covered in a darker story than Sokka had anticipated, and he was horrified by his own desire to want to know each one. To be able to understand. While at the same time, he knew it would be better if he didn't.
'Why would he want to return to a country that hurts him like this?'
What strange fucked up type of loyalty does the Fire Nation beat into their soldiers when a man like Li is willing to die to return in order to fulfill his duty? Just to be treated like this. His eyes wandered to those whip scars once more before he forced himself to tear his eyes away as Li scrubbed himself down. Instead Sokka glared down at his desk and thought about the men who were lost at sea and the bad news he was going to have to give the man soon. He couldn't carry this knowledge forever and it wouldn't be right to keep it from him. He had a right to know.
Lost in thought, Sokka didn't even notice that Li had finished cleaning up until he cleared his throat expectantly by the warrior's shoulder. Sokka startled a little and went to turn to check on the man, only to catch himself and force his eyes to stare over the desk at the wall. His face flushed warmly, able to catch the pale expanse of skin in his peripheral as Li leaned closer to inspect the clothes.
"Just grab whatever you want." Sokka gestured at the stacks as he explained. "These two are for winter, and these two are not." He pointed at the one blue and one black outfits. Li's red scout uniform was in the bottom of a separate bag, washed as well and much more thoroughly than Sokka had by the kindly tailor who returned it after finishing her work. Sokka opted to not inform Li of its cleanliness and left it in the bag for now hoping to see him in a new outfit instead.
He wasn't at all surprised to see him go for the black one, collecting the fabric into his hands before he went about pulling the clothes on. Sokka started piling the rest up into a stack so they could be stored inside his sea chest for now. He suspected they should probably get Li his own for all of his belongings when they return to the South.
He waited for Li to finish getting dressed and turned to find him adjusting the clothes and inspecting the tailor's handiwork.
"They fit." The soldier stated in bewilderment at the accuracy of the outfit. He lifted his gaze to Sokka, brow cocked incredulously.
"I gave the tailor your old clothes so she could take a more accurate sizing." He elaborated. "Since you couldn't be there yourself to be sized."
Li flushed at that and turned his gaze back down to the clothes as he smoothed his hands over the clean soft fabric. Sokka had to admit, he looked very good in black. Almost as good as he looked in red. But nowhere as good as Sokka bet he looked in blue that properly fits him.
"How does it feel?" Sokka asked conversationally.
"Good." Li rasped. It was nice hearing his voice again after the hours of silence, always that gravelly smoky sound that Sokka never tired of.
"Good." Sokka hummed, drumming his fingers against the edge of his desk. Searching for something more to say even though his mind came up blank.
"Thank you."
Sokka was a little thrown off guard by that, but didn't fail to smile up at the soldier in response. "Of course." He gestured at the other clothes on the desk as he added. "These'll just be inside my sea chest for now until we can find you one of your own to store things in."
Li nodded in understanding before retreating back to sit on the bed, allowing more space for Sokka to move about without them bumping into each other. With the anklet cuff off, Li looked far more relaxed as he settled onto the bed and smoothed his hand over the furs repeatedly in slow soothing motions. Sokka took care not to stare too much as this seemed to ease the rest of the tension out of Li, sleepy eyed and drowsy as he sagged back on his palms. It was only afternoon but Li looked ready to crash already, and Sokka was honestly okay with that. It gave him more time to get his thoughts in order.
Telling Li of the loss of his comrades was one of the hardest things Sokka has had to do. He had sat the man down after they ate a quiet supper together. Li seemed to notice the tension rising in Sokka as he picked at the bowl of stew he’d been poking for fifteen minutes. Sokka wondered if the soldier assumed his foul mood had been because of the soldier’s earlier escape, which would make sense as to why Li wasn’t making eye contact with him and had taken care to avoid going near the warrior unless he absolutely had to. He was entirely too still, too watchful as Sokka stewed over the words he’d been compiling in his head to finally break the news. Sokka didn’t like seeing Li so anxious and strung out around him, especially when the tribesman was the cause of it. It felt like walking on eggshells. It was hard trying not to telegraph his muddled feelings too much but it must have failed judging by how twitchy and skittish Li was again.
Once they’d finished their meal, Sokka collected the bowls and left, taking a moment to breathe the fresh sea air as an excuse to finalize his thoughts before he had to go back into that room. The day shift had switched out, turning into the bunks for the night as the evening watchmen took over with the first smattering of stars in the night sky guiding them home.
Afraid to linger too long and aware that Li would probably only grow more paranoid the longer he was away, he forced himself to descend the steps and return to his cabin. His hand rested on the door a moment as he steeled himself then pushed inside. Li was seated on the edge of the bed as per usual, his legs crossed in a lotus pose that seemed the most comfortable for him to settle into. He had his hands folded in his lap as if he’d been expecting Sokka’s return and the weighty conversation to follow. It was unnerving to think about so Sokka shoved it away and sighed.
“Li, I have something important I need to discuss with you.” He tried to remain transparent about it all as he approached his desk seat and settled in across from him. He kept his hands out where the soldier could see them, palms flat against his thighs even though every inch of him wanted to move and toss them around nervously, to fidget as he worked these words out. He knew it wouldn’t do Li any good judging by the wary look he was receiving. He had gone tense again, watching every muscle and twitch in Sokka like a hawk. Like he expected something bad to come and he needed to be prepared to protect himself from it.
But something bad was coming and there was nothing Li could do to shield himself from the news.
“Earlier today, Chief Hakoda received a report regarding the prisoner transport bound for an Earth Kingdom fort. The ship had gone down in a storm just off the coast a day’s sail from its destination. There were only two survivors.” Sokka felt his stomach tighten as he continued. “The three prisoners who were being transported were lost in the storm.”
There was a deathly silence that spread between them. Sokka’s fingers tightened on his knees as he forced himself to remain open and calm even though he knew what this meant for the man. Sokka understood the pain of loss. He had lost so many countrymen in this war already, he just learned of many more swallowed by the indiscriminate waves of La’s embrace.
“I’m so sorry, Li.”
The soldier was pale and quiet as he sat there, staring past Sokka at the distant wall as he let the news sink in. His golden eyes squeezed shut after a moment, drawing in a deep calming breath that couldn’t hide the tiny hiccup that shuddered through him. He held himself together better than Sokka probably could have in his position. He didn’t open his eyes for several silent minutes before he finally spoke.
“Can I-” His voice cracked as he drew in another careful breath and forced the words out quietly. “Can I request permission to hold a vigil for my men on deck?”
Sokka straightened up as he listened. “I don’t see why not but I’ll pass it along to Chief Hakoda for approval.” Sokka started to rise from his seat before pausing. “Is there anything you need?”
“Just a candle or lantern.” Li explained. “Something that’ll burn all night.”
Sokka nodded as he reiterated the question. “Is there anything you need, Li? I’m here to listen.”
Li’s golden eyes finally landed on Sokka, giving the man his full attention. He looked like he wanted to say something, his lips parted, about to speak up when he hesitated and snapped them shut. Then slowly shook his head.
“No, I appreciate the offer sir.” It was too formal. Too empty for Sokka’s comfort but the man looked hollow now as he tore his gaze away and stared back at that point on the wall that seemed safest right now. Sokka nodded and rose from his seat to pass along Li’s request, allowing the man some time alone to mourn his loss.
Chapter 4
Summary:
Sort of Zuko's perspective branching off of last chapter. Plus the vigil.
Chapter Text
Sokka talks a lot. Which shouldn’t be anything new for Zuko because Sokka always talked a lot, but he was having trouble keeping up with what Sokka was saying when his body felt sore and his head was swimming through a dense fog trying to make sense of everything around him. Sokka’s words were muffled and far away and he kept calling Zuko by that name that sounded right but also not really. It wasn’t his true name and it bothered him. He didn’t understand why it had to be that name Sokka said when his own name was much better. He wanted to hear his real name on the warrior’s tongue, rumbling out in familiar syllables in this man’s native dialect.
But Sokka sounded scared and concerned, which Zuko didn’t like to hear coming from the strange man with his strange ways that cared too much and tried too hard to be friendly when Zuko didn’t deserve it. His legs ached and his back twinged whenever he moved with the weight of the chain dangling off the edge of the bed in a way that felt wrong as he stared down at where the end of the chain was attached to the bed. But the weight didn’t feel right and the angle of the chain didn’t set right in his head as he stared at the links that stopped so suddenly without anything connecting the in between.
He remembered them breaking. He recalled the sound, sharp and jarring in his ears as a voice in his head screamed at him to flee. But he couldn’t place why. Everything was confusing and muddled and he was agitated like a caged animal and he just wanted freedom. He didn’t like being cooped up, like he always was. A caged bird shoved behind delicate gold bars and forced to sing at command. He was a beautiful lie, a distorted promise that didn’t actually want to be tamed. He rattled against the bars, screeched his voice raw until his song broke and flapped his wings until every last lovely feather frayed and fell to the bottom. Until there was nothing left to love of the beautiful lie. There was nothing worth keeping and then, maybe then he would be allowed to flee this prison and he could run until his feet blistered and his eyes water with exhaustion and his bones protest before collapsing to the earth where his life would ebb slowly into the roots and consider himself home.
Zuko needed to run but he had nowhere to go. He needed to pace and scream and do anything before he burst. He felt pent up, like there was energy racing beneath his skin, building slowly, spreading like insects buzzing in his limbs until he wanted to claw his skin off and shout at the top of his lungs until Agni hears his pleas and grants him peace. He squeezed his eyes shut and begged for it to end, for the fighting to stop, for the hands clutching at him, clawing their way from the funeral pyres to finally fall away and rest. For the forgiveness he never deserved to come, for the pleas that left his lips in the night to be answered by Agni’s light. He wanted it all to stop and yet, he didn’t truly understand why.
When he reached out to make sense of what was happening, he only found this paranoid dread that wove itself deep into his soul and drew him strung taut like a puppet being pulled in every which direction until he felt like he was being torn apart. He tried to recall the why but was met with silence. He couldn’t ask because nobody else had the answers. He was Zuko, son of Lady Ursa and Fire Prince Ozai, big brother to Azula and nephew to the Dragon of the West. He was not weak. There was no room for weakness, for fear and paranoia, for confusion or straying from the path. He couldn’t ask questions because he was meant to have all the answers. He couldn’t ask for help because that was unbefitting of a royal. He was absolute, he was strong and courageous. He was the rock before his nation-
He was a caged animal with a fire chasing at his heels and the very real instinct shouting in his ears that he needed to run now or die just like the rest. He was nobody if he was ash. He wasn’t even worth the urn they would pay for to place in the family shrine where his body should be.
His thoughts started to drift, his eyes tore away from the wall he didn’t recognize at first but then made sense of in some strange wispy phantom memory that slotted into place. Then Sokka was talking again but his words were slowly making their way into his ears and they started to make sense if only a little but Zuko took his time to respond when he kept calling him by that name as he stared at the man with confusion.
Time slipped by before Zuko could make sense of it. He didn’t remember the chain being removed from his ankle or the bed. He couldn't recall how he had ended up with Uncle’s tea in his lap and the pai sho tile was so much bigger and more detailed than he remembered. He breathed in the Ginseng and let it curl around his mind, easing him back from that endless fog that made everything so hazy and far away. In time, he started to make sense of things again. The world started to fall into place and details began to stick when he looked around.
Sokka was back and Zuko was relieved to see him return. He had an artificial cheer to his voice that reflected on his face as he hoisted the bags up with triumph. Zuko was just happy to hear the word wash because he was tired of feeling sticky and dirty. He hated the way the blood clung to his skin-
No, there was no blood this time. Just sweat and dirt and whatever oily residue that held on after however many days he’s been like this. He couldn’t really recall the missed time but he knew it was a lot judging by how stiff the fabric felt as it rubbed his skin and chafed in places that bothered him. These clothes weren’t meant for him. They didn’t fit right in the ways his uniform always did. Sleek and black as he moved like liquid through every obstacle, sliding from shadow to shadow with one golden eye peering out at the world through the small eye holes of his mask.
He missed his mask and his swords. He lifted his hands to examine his palms as he wondered whether they could be recovered. He had them when Sokka took him into custody but where were they now? He hadn’t seen them in so long. His fingers itched for the carefully wrapped handles to slot within his grasp with ease and familiarity.
His wandering thoughts slipped him by before he realized Sokka had left and returned with a bucket and he was able to clean himself up. It felt nice being clean even if the water wasn’t necessarily warm. At least he didn’t shiver as much as when he bathed in the river near the camp. The more he cleaned and scrubbed, the clearer his head became until he could think straight without stumbling through his rambling thoughts and focused on the repetitive motions of such a simple task.
The new clothes fit and he was confused by that fact. They were black with long trousers and a tunic and sash that tied comfortably in place. It wasn't like his old uniform, whichever came to mind first, but he liked it. It felt right even if it was incomplete. He thanked Sokka for his thoughtfulness but his words felt clumsy in his mouth as exhaustion crept along his spine. Sokka didn't appear to mind as he crowded himself under the furs once more.
Zuko was much more alert and aware after his impromptu nap. He finally felt like he had his head on straight as he rose from the fading tendrils of sleep and blinked bleary eyes into the darkening cabin. Sokka had been working quietly at his desk going over what appeared to be a map of sorts which Zuko assumed meant he was helping the Chieftain plot and navigate their course.
He felt a bit out of place as he scrubbed a palm over his face and tried to recall the last….day? He had this sinking feeling that he lost time. It deepened when he dredged up the impression that he may have done something reckless during that period. All he could remember was the sound of the chain breaking under his heel and the taste of sea air on his tongue. He remembered Sokka but Sokka was a constant shadow in his life this past week. He couldn't be certain that the Sokka he was remembering was from missing time or dreams or some other insignificant moment that passed between them.
He stared at the warrior as he wrote notes across a piece of parchment. When Zuko leaned to one side, his eyes caught long dark bruises coiled around the warrior's forearm glistening painfully in the lantern light. He winced inwardly as he watched how Sokka moved with care not to bump them against the surface. There were raised red marks that littered the skin on his hands like he'd been lashed, accompanied by more dark streaks of purples and blacks just under the surface.
Zuko felt sick to his stomach. A part of him knew he did that to the warrior. He hurt him in a way that left marks like that and yet, he was still unchained. He was unchained, clothed, clean and allowed to sleep in the man's bed still. Sokka still trusted him enough to turn his back to Zuko like this, without any tension or fear that Zuko would hurt him more.
The sick feeling in his stomach tightened as bile crept up his throat. He felt nauseous and the cramped space of the cabin wasn't helping him any. He shifted on the bed, palming the furs to steady himself as a blanket slipped off the edge of the cot and landed on the floor. Sokka tensed, brush poised and hovering in the air as he turned to catch a glimpse of Zuko. The man smiled so warmly that Zuko felt like he was free falling and couldn't catch himself. Why did Sokka look at him like that? Why was he so relieved when his eyes met Zuko's? Why did the man care when Zuko was a prisoner?
He was at war with them. He was their sworn enemy. He was a prisoner and he had hurt Sokka. He had tried to escape before. He made his stance clear but Sokka was still friendly and understanding and he cared and Zuko hated it. He hated it because it made his guard slip and that was weakness he couldn't afford. It was a white flag in the distance that he didn't want to accept because accepting it felt like submitting and admitting defeat. It felt like being given a gift he didn't deserve. That smile, that warmth, the tender consideration as if Sokka saw him as more. As if he saw him as a friend.
It hurt more than any wound Zuko bore because he couldn't ignore it. Because he wanted it to be real and honest so fucking badly and Agni it hurts.
It hurts because Sokka chose him and that made Zuko special in a way that he didn't understand, but clearly the others in the warrior's tribe did and that threw him through a loop and left him floundering and directionless once again. He needed answers but he couldn't even make himself ask those questions and mean it. He didn't know if the answers he was going to get were the ones he wanted to hear.
"Hungry?" Sokka's question dragged Zuko out of the swell of his thoughts as he nodded jerkily. His stomach growled its traitorous agreement drawing a chuckle from the man as he set his brush aside and rose stiffly to his feet. Zuko could see by the way that Sokka held himself, the rigid way he moved at first, the tiniest scrunch of his face in a poorly concealed wince, that Sokka was hurt in more places than Zuko could see.
Agni, what had he done?
Why wasn't he being punished for it?
“Wait here. I’ll be right back.” Sokka assured him with the same casualness that he always did as he left the cabin. He left Zuko alone, unguarded, unchained and still trusted him to obey and keep his word.
Zuko felt like his head was spinning for an entirely different reason now as he struggled to catch himself. He took a few calming deep breaths and focused on the feel of the furs under his palms and the faint aroma of tea that settled in the air from earlier in the day. He squeezed his eyes shut, counting turtleducks in his head to calm his racing thoughts and his racing heart until he had a grip on himself and could exhale without feeling the urgent need to scream or jump to his feet. He was calm.
Then Sokka returned with their meal, two bowls of stew held in his grasp still steaming from whatever hot pot it’d been kept in as one was passed off to Zuko. He accepted it and noticed the tension that was still wound up in Sokka’s body language. The way his eyes kept staring at Zuko like he had something to say but wasn’t sure how to approach it. Zuko braced himself for the conversation to come, but it never did. They ate in silence as Sokka picked around his bowl with apprehension and a clear lack of appetite. Regardless, he forced himself to empty his bowl probably out of habit against wastefulness and collected their empty dishes.
When he returned, those words that Zuko dreaded were finally spoken.
“Li, I have something important I need to discuss with you.”
‘There it is.’ Zuko swallowed thickly as he waited to hear what the warrior had to say. He had to wrestle his thoughts away from all the horrible things he was imagining. Were they going to change their mind about keeping him? Was he going to be sent to an Earth Kingdom prison instead? Or was Sokka just waiting to prepare him for the inevitable consequences for his earlier actions and he was just offering Zuko this kindness beforehand. Maybe the entirety of the crew knew what Zuko had done and wanted him gone. Or maybe they wanted blood as compensation. Had he hurt anyone else during his missing time? He couldn’t remember and it grated on his nerves because he hated it. He hated not having full control all the time, he despised all these gaps of absence and the faintest impressions when things would happen and he didn’t know what or why.
Sokka was tense, his posture rigid as he held himself too still. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t waving his hands around in the usual manner that made every interaction feel friendly and open. This felt guarded and Zuko didn’t like it.
When the warrior next opened his mouth, the words that fell from his lips were controlled and formulated in an overly formal manner that felt like a punch to the gut. The air had left Zuko in a rush as his mind finally made sense of the words reaching his ears and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. It felt horribly wrong to feel relieved as he heard the sterile report on the loss of his subordinates.
‘What the fuck is wrong with me?’ He forced a mask of neutrality as he let this news sink in. He focused on a distant point in the wall and gathered his thoughts.
‘They’re gone. All of them.’ He realized a bit late. ‘Maybe it was for the best.’
It sounded like a terrible thing to say, but at least they won’t be imprisoned in the Earth Kingdom. They weren’t in any danger of further harm or cruelty. He didn’t have to lie awake wondering if they were being tortured, starved or interrogated. He wouldn’t have to fret over their families back home, about Deirdre’s daughter asking night after night for her father and why he wasn’t coming home, or how he carried a small folded picture inside his breast pocket that she had drawn him before he left under Zuko’s command. Or about Sheng’s wife who wrote him longing sappy letters or little romantic stories about birds and trees, and he wrote back equally as sappy poetry as he promised to return home to her. He didn’t have to think about Kit and the collection of geodes and crystals he had gathered in a small leather pouch as souvenirs for his little brother who specializes as a jeweler in Caldera.
They wouldn’t be waiting, worrying about their safety for months to come. They would know the truth. They would find closure in the aftermath of their grief. They wouldn’t be haunted by the knowledge that their loved ones were imprisoned somewhere, suffering and alone, missing them and hoping that one day they will come home.
“I’m so sorry, Li.” Sokka’s voice was too quiet. Too sympathetic. Zuko ignored the burning in his eyes as he took a steadying breath and tried to maintain his composure as he asked.
“Can I-” His breath hitched and he forced another careful exhale. He couldn’t break down in front of the enemy. “Can I request permission to hold a vigil for my men on deck?”
He needed to do his part for them. He had failed to protect them. He failed as their Prince and as their comrade. He failed them but at least he could do this one last thing for them to ensure they make it home for a final rest. He will guide them, like he should have guided all the rest. He took another careful breath, ignoring the way his lips quivered just the smallest bit and forced his face to something still and stoic.
They talked a little more, Zuko wasn’t really paying attention as each answer came automatically like it always did when he was walking the halls of the palace, seated before his father and the Fire Lord, stiffly answering questions that held no meaning to him. He was practiced in this and it sickened him.
Sokka left and Zuko barely even acknowledged the absence. He couldn’t because if he did, he would break down and he couldn’t afford it when Sokka was sure to be back quickly. Time was a blur as Zuko waited, holding his rigid posture and staring down that one point on the wall until he had a hold of his emotions. He breathed deeply, calmly, like he did when he meditated. He thought of the turtleduck pond back home, of the warmth of a ceramic cup filled with Jasmine tea placed in his hands by his Uncle, of the quiet click of pai sho tiles across the delicately carved wooden board, of the smell of a fire that crackled in the hearth and his mother’s voice weaving stories of spirits and timeless romance into his ears.
When Sokka returned, Zuko had a lantern placed in his hands before he could even process what was happening. It was lit already and the prince focused on that as the warrior led him out of his cabin and onto the deck. Zuko looked around, his brows furrowed in confusion as he searched the skyline and tried to calculate where they were.
“Is something wrong?” Sokka asked quietly by his side. One hand settled on the prince’s shoulder that he didn’t recognize landing there earlier but it must have been there this whole time as Sokka gave it a gentle squeeze.
Zuko swallowed hard and forced the words past his lips. “Where-” His voice cracked a little causing him to hesitate then try again, sounding more composed than he was feeling. “Which direction was the ship when it went down?”
Sokka’s blue eyes reflected the lantern light as he considered Zuko for a moment then tipped his head up to inspect the stars with concentration. He searched the endless sea as its dark waves collided with the starry sky making it seamless in its vastness. After a minute of calculation, Sokka pointed towards the back of the ship. They climbed up the steps and slipped behind the wheel where Bato was currently steering their course. He only offered a brief glimpse in their direction, nodded to Sokka who returned it as he steered Zuko to the corner of the ship’s upper deck.
Zuko double checked with Sokka’s direction ensuring he was facing the right way. The man nodded in confirmation and watched him quietly. He stood against the railing and stared out at the sea, holding the lantern in his hands.
“Do you need anything else?” Sokka asked.
Zuko shook his head, jaw tight in thought. After a few minutes it was made apparent that Sokka intended to stay with him through the whole vigil. It occurred to Zuko that the warrior probably didn’t understand what exactly that entailed which made him feel uneasy subjecting him to something he probably wouldn’t be happy with. A few more minutes passed before Zuko found his words again.
“In the Fire Nation, it is believed that our life comes from the sun and our souls were born from the Sun spirit, Agni.” He held the lantern a little higher in emphasis. He could see in the corner of his vision where Sokka stood on his good side, that he was listening. Zuko could feel the warrior’s eyes on him as he continued. “When we die, our bodies are burned so that we will return to Agni in the ashes. Our spirit will pass back through his and be reborn like the phoenix of old.”
There was a pause, as Zuko took another deep calming breath. That familiar burning in his throat made it hard to swallow. He forced it off and continued, finding comfort in speaking about anything else. As long as he didn’t have to talk about them directly. This was just religious practice. It didn’t bear the same weight as discussing his failure did. It hurt a lot less this way and filling the silence was nice. It didn’t leave room for overthinking.
“When we die at sea or during a battle where the bodies cannot be recovered and given a proper ritual, or if we die far from home where no one knows to give us these rites-” He cleared his throat as tears burned in his eyes. He blinked them away quickly. “We hold a flame for them.” He tightened his grip on the lantern. “With a piece of Agni, we can usher them through the night into Agni’s embrace come morning. That way they won’t be lost. That way-”
His voice broke and Zuko couldn’t keep going. He sucked in a sharp breath, tried to be strong but he felt like he was being crushed under the weight of all the dead he had stood vigil for. All the men he ushered into the next life, into Agni’s embrace. All the times he wondered if someone would do the same for him, when his time comes. Would anyone care to ensure he finds his way home?
Sokka’s hand squeezed his shoulder sympathetically as the first tear trailed down his cheek. Zuko didn’t lift his hand from the lantern to wipe it away. He couldn’t let go of the lantern, even for a second otherwise he would break apart. Agni’s flame was the only thing keeping him together. He needed to stay here, to ensure they found their way home. It was the least he could do. For Deirdre and Kit and Sheng.
There was a quiet shift of footsteps that trailed away from Zuko’s side and the cold absence of Sokka’s hand from his shoulder. Hot shame curled in the base of his stomach as he forced his eyes to stay firmly planted on the horizon. Another tear fell, cooling quickly against his skin as the cool sea air licked at it until it dried.
The footsteps returned accompanied by another light. Zuko tore his gaze away from the ocean to find Sokka’s face softly illuminated by a lantern that burned in his own hands. He stood at attention by Zuko’s side, pressing closer until their shoulders bumped together companionably in silence. His golden eyes widened as Sokka shared a small smile with him. There was this knowing look in his eyes that chased away the shame that nestled inside of Zuko’s gut. Another tear came, followed swiftly by another and before he realized it, his breath caught in his throat and he couldn’t stop the storm that crashed through him. He leaned into Sokka’s side as the warrior wrapped a sturdy arm around his shoulders and supported his weight. His free hand kept the lantern upright while Zuko clutched his own to his chest.
The night was long and Zuko was tired as they waited through the hours. The soft spray of the sea chilled his skin when a wave would crash against the hull and curl high enough to reach them. The taste of salt in the air was comforting though and reminded him of the two years he sailed before being bullied into serving on land by his father. Uncle Iroh was disappointed, as was cousin Lu Ten who was rather proud of his naval career and the prospect of having Zuko serve beside them. After his first year in combat on land, the sea offered much more freedom than the prince anticipated and he enjoyed it even if it meant riding the waves in a floating tin can more often than not. He saw more places than he ever dreamed of and he enjoyed it even if it meant patrolling the same stretch of coastline day in and day out. It also meant more freedom for his Blue Spirit activities without a commanding officer looming over his shoulder to scrutinize his every move.
Sokka’s arm was warm against his back and he appreciated it in a weird way he hadn’t considered before. He was no longer sagged into the man’s side, his tears having dried hours ago but he never shook it off. They kept their stance, even when the ship swayed on the waves and their legs ached from the idleness. Sokka never complained or protested, even as the grey hours of dawn began creeping in. The morning light was near, Zuko could feel the relief that trickled in. Only feeling hot shame in the aftermath when he realized what that seemed to say about himself.
The silence that had settled around them was disrupted only by the quiet hush of the waves against the hull and the groan of wood as it was battered by the ocean’s playful tides. The moon hung distantly, lazily sinking towards the horizon where it will trade places with Agni’s light, conceding the night to the blazing warmth of dawn.
He couldn’t ignore the thought that filled his mind, or stop it from reaching his lips as he shared another detail with Sokka. It wasn’t asked for but Zuko felt the need to share. He needed someone to listen that didn’t know the weight of his words or the full meaning of what these things meant. Someone who couldn’t criticize him for failing to be princely.
“We have a similar custom in my country, like this.” Zuko started, gesturing towards the lantern in his arms. The flame burned boldly in the night, burning the darkness away in an isolated stretch around his torso. It felt selfish and territorial as it flickered hollowly and danced within the prince’s embrace. Sokka shifted stiffly at his side, his head cocked lazily to listen in.
“What is that?” The husky rumble of his voice was sluggish with exhaustion. It made Zuko feel even worse in a guilty way.
The question was asked and Zuko had already opened this can of worms so he continued. “When someone is missing, whether they’re lost at sea, lost in the forest or a soldier taken prisoner, we light a candle and keep it in a window for them.”
Sokka stretched his shoulders in a tiny flex and shuffled his feet as his body released little pops at the motion. He hummed thoughtfully as he accepted this little tidbit of information. “We do something like that if one of our own is lost in a snowstorm.” He offered in return. “So they can see the light and follow it home, even through the raging blizzard.”
The prince never really considered whether that was something other cultures would do for their lost, but it made sense in a strange way. Light was how humans oriented themselves. It was what gives life to the earth. For them, it was Agni reaching for their spirits. To another, like Sokka’s people, it sounded more practical. Simple in a way.
“Do you have a special ritual for your dead?” Zuko asked after a moment of contemplation.
Sokka’s expression softened as he nodded. “Our life comes from the sea.” He nodded at the waves that rocked the ship gently in its caress like a lifelong lover. The last shreds of pale moonlight danced along the waves with its waning smile and the stars freckling around it. It was beautiful in its own way. In a way that soothed Zuko during his earlier years where blood and war was a ghost in his mind, always haunting his nights. The idle sway of a ship was soothing to him, it rocked him to a more peaceful sleep than he ever found on land.
“Tui, the Moon, guides the tides to carry us and La, the ocean, provides us with food and protects us. When we die at sea, it is seen as our bodies returning to them and giving back what we’ve taken.” There was a quiet reverence to his words that made it sound lovely to imagine. Like something romantic about the exchange of life and death in such a simple manner. It made sense for a nation of people who spent their entire lives surrounded by water. Funny how, in a similar way, so did the Fire Nation and yet they turned to Agni above more than the tides and moon.
In an odd way, they were a lot alike. Polar opposites in a similar lifestyle.
“That sounds nice.” Zuko admitted quietly after a moment. There was a quiet huff of amusement as the prince caught the glimmer of Sokka smiling down at him, his lips cocked in a crooked grin that crept up on his face. Zuko felt a flush of heat spread across his cheeks as he tried to manage a scowl in return but the fond squeeze of Sokka’s arm around his shoulders eased the tension out of him.
“Do you think there is a candle lit out there for you?” Sokka asked softly.
Zuko stiffened at that. The warrior gave him a worried look as he crowded a little closer to him, trying to catch his attention. The prince turned his attention down to the lantern with a mournful look and shrugged absently.
“Maybe.” He spoke after a moment but his voice was far too quiet to sound certain. “My Uncle or maybe my mother would.” His father wasn’t necessarily the religious or spiritual type and he doubted Azula would care about the practice either to take it seriously. For Zuko, it was a comfort to him. He wasn’t necessarily a spiritual person, nowhere near as spiritual as Uncle but he knew something more was beyond them all. He found reassurance in imagining that he could feel Agni’s presence curling affectionately against him every time he started a fire or felt the heat of the sun on his face. It was better than imagining Agni’s rage as it burned him or the fear that fire had stoked inside of him for so long before he managed to overcome it and face it with a new resolve. Uncle and Lu Ten had been supportive of him during it all.
After that, they resumed the not so comfortable silence until it became something comfortable again beckoned into changing with their growing exhaustion. The first light of dawn finally broke over the sea to greet them. Zuko straightened his stance and settled the lantern carefully in his palms as he took a step back from the railing. The sun was at his back like this, warming the chill across his neck and shoulders as he bowed, holding his arms out before him with the lantern balancing in his grasp.
He prayed to Agni, calling upon the warmth of his light as he spoke the names of his comrades in his mind. He remembered their faces, holding them close in his thoughts as he imagined carrying their souls inside the lantern, burning and eternal like the flame. He extended one leg in a step back, straightening his torso as he lifted the lantern out towards the sea and slowly rotated his body as he carried the flame to face the sun. With the bright light of dawn cast over his face, he raised the lantern high into the air in offering, closed his eyes and bowed his head.
Zuko held that position for several minutes, keeping his men in his thoughts. He revisited older memories, fonder thoughts. The sound of their voices, their laughs gathered around a fire telling stories. The way they smiled. The color of their eyes when they’d light up with jokes shared. The taste of their names on his tongue as he ushered their souls off to Agni’s awaiting embrace. He held his ground until his shoulders felt lighter and the warmth that tickled his face spread down his neck and curled inside his heart.
Satisfied that they had reached their final rest, he opened his eyes and blew the flame out of the lantern. Sokka was still by his side watching him with red ringed eyes, bloodshot with exhaustion as he clutched his lantern in clumsy hands before turning it out as well. The morning crew was stirring from below and trading out with the night shift. Bato had left sometime in the night and was replaced with another tribesman that Zuko didn’t recognize. The man offered him the courtesy of keeping his back turned on them in the fragile illusion of privacy.
“Done?” The warrior inquired, speech made clumsier now. He was fading fast so Zuko nodded. “Good. Time for bed.” He yawned unashamedly and stretched his arms out over his head, taking the first of several stiff steps until he loosened up a little by the time they reached the stairs leading down to deck. He kept swaying and swerving through the passageway to the private cabin, causing Zuko to stare after him with concern.
It didn’t take much effort for the prince to shove Sokka towards the bed, trading the cot for the bedroll where the warrior could at least get a decent sleep on something that wasn’t a hard floor or rock hard ground. Any attempts at protest died on Sokka’s lips when Zuko scowled at him and shoved him again until he plopped down in defeat, clumsily tugging his boots and jacket off before crawling under the furs and blankets.
Zuko had set the lanterns on the desk and plopped onto the bedroll, smoothing his palms over it thoughtfully before drawing back the edges and crawling inside. It swallowed him up like a cocoon and was pleasantly warm with the fur lining inside. Much better than the military issued bedrolls the Fire Nation gave them.
As sleep started to pull him under its spell, the thought occurred to Zuko that he hadn’t even considered sneaking away from the warrior or utilizing his exhausted state to get one up on him. He had ample opportunity now but all the prince felt was a tired resignation at that. It felt inherently wrong, especially after everything Sokka had done for him. He stayed through the night with Zuko, holding a lantern in the name of men he didn’t owe anything to, and kept him company. He held him when he grieved and didn’t judge him for his weakness.
The least Zuko could offer him was his loyalty.
Chapter Text
Sokka’s entire body hurt as he dragged himself from the dredges of sleep to the soft sound of rustling and the scent of tea leaves that filled the room with a pungent herbal aroma. A beam of sunlight flooded the porthole and struck the wall next to the door alerting him to the late hour of the day. His stomach growled with hunger but all of his motivation was lost at the prospect of throwing himself into motion to do anything mildly productive. If it meant moving so much as an inch from the stone still sprawl he found himself in, he wanted nothing to do with it. The pain had faded to a dull ache that he could ignore as long as he didn’t move much.
He racked his brain trying to recall the last time he felt this stiff and sore, and came up blank. He fished around, gaze fixed on the ceiling above and the idle swishing of furs pinned against the wall overhead in ceremonial décor that were jostled by the sway of the ship as it rocked against the ocean. Li had apparently done quite the number to him these last few days and Sokka was baffled by how much trouble a single prisoner could be. He supposed it could be a lot worse. Kodiak’s prisoner a few years back had stabbed him. Twice. Compared to Lady Ezra, he supposed Li was nowhere near as bad as he could be. Though Sokka could have gone the rest of his life without being whipped with chains. That was no fun in the slightest and he was paying the price today.
Speaking of, he perked his head up and searched the room for any sign of his prisoner and frowned in confusion upon realizing he was in the bed and not on the floor in his bedroll like he’d been this past week. Forcing his body to twist against his better judgement, he groaned like an old man as joints popped and cracked noisily before his eyes met the scout’s inquiring gold. He was seated on the floor atop Sokka’s bedroll in a lotus pose with the tin of Jasmine tea settled in his lap.
Judging by the look he was giving Sokka, the tribesman may have interrupted his- what was he even doing?
“What are you doing?” Sokka voiced the question before he could filter himself so early in the morning. Er- afternoon? Or was it evening already? It was daytime was all he knew and he couldn’t be bothered to be more precise than that.
The relaxed lines of Li’s face tightened with a mild scowl which only looked worse with the scar twisting it up when he tried to make any sort of expression. His hair was scattered in his face from where he had tried to draw it back out of the way and was it braided? His hair most definitely looked braided now that Sokka got a better look at it, but it was loose and unraveling without something to keep it in place. It actually looked pretty good considering.
“Meditating.” That deep rasp came much harsher now and Sokka couldn’t help the way it made his chest flutter with warmth at hearing it.
“I thought only the nomads did that.” Sokka offered the thought, genuinely curious now as he watched the smaller man as he considered it. He gave a small shrug of his shoulders at that.
“My Uncle taught me to use it to center myself with. To find the calm in the storm.” His face scrunched up at that like he was reminded of something unpleasant as he wrinkled his nose. Sokka gave a soft laugh at that and dared to shove himself upright now that he had a little more awareness and motivation. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he learned it from an air nomad with all the proverbs he used when I was growing up.”
“He sounds like an interesting man.” The warrior hummed pleasantly, ignoring the way his body protested the motion and hiding the wince that crept up. He stretched, coaxing more sounds from his joints that they were more than happy to oblige with. Getting a chance to sleep in a bed had done wonders for his stiff back but he felt bad for making Li spend the night on the floor. In fact, he didn’t really recall how exactly that exchange went about.
“Did you get any sleep?” He opted to ask instead.
Li nodded. “Yes.” The way he said it just a little too quickly made Sokka wonder if he should actually be questioning the quantity on top of it all. But then Li tucked the lid back on the container of tea and sealed it shut which seemed to object to any further chatter. Sokka’s stomach growled noisily, agreeing with that statement while simultaneously protesting the absence of food.
He collected himself and shoved his boots on before ushering them both out to scour for breakfast.
Breakfast turned out to be a late lunch that bordered on supper considering the rapidly descending sun in the sky and the worried looks Hakoda kept shooting him as they shuffled about the ship. They ate quickly and Sokka offered to show Li a few things about their seafaring lifestyle. He appeared fascinated by their use of the sails which didn’t surprise Sokka when he considered the metal monstrosities that the Fire Nation had carving through the waves all over the Earth Kingdom coasts.
Li got a chance to stretch his legs somewhere that wasn’t pacing up and down the passageways below deck or helping Sokka rearrange the cargo hold just to keep his hands busy in idle work. They watched the sea and listened to Bato pass orders around the crew. Sokka translated everything that Bato was saying in Water Tribe to their Fire Nation equivalent so the man could understand why some things had been repeated. Li looked confused at first before he nodded in understanding and attempted to repeat a few of the words at Sokka’s encouragement.
It was honestly hilariously horrific. He couldn’t help the burst of laughter that broke in his chest when Li attempted to say the Water Tribe word for sail, and drastically garbled it up. It sounded closer to their word for ladle which Sokka didn’t even know how he managed that feat. If the soldier thought his rendition of Fire Nation was bad, Sokka was certain it wasn’t nearly as bad as Li’s attempts at his own language. His tongue got all twisted up and he applied emphasis in the wrong places that had Sokka in a fit of cackling as he leaned against the railing for support.
Li scowled at him even harder, arms folded over his chest with an indignant huff. “This is hard.”
“Tell me about it!” Sokka heaved in a gasp as he managed to not entirely butcher Fire Nation in his gleeful giggles. “It hurts me to listen to it.”
Li bristled even harder, and Sokka swore he could see the man’s hair rising with his hackles. “They don’t teach us these things in the military.”
Sokka quelled some of his laughter and sucked in a calming breath, lungs aching from the force as he waved his hand dismissively. “Neither do we. We learned your language from other Fire Nation prisoners that have joined our tribes over the years. Likewise for Earth Kingdom citizens.”
That rattled Li out of his prickly posture as he stared Sokka down in surprise. “Really?” His shoulders relaxed as he let his arms fall away from the defensive stance. Sokka nodded.
“Yeah.” He patted the soldier on the shoulder and steered him along the deck where they could head inside as night was ticking closer and a nip started to settle in the air. He could taste the change in the weather as they moved further south. Li trailed after him as he continued. “It’s part of the reason we take people from outside the tribe. It expands our knowledge and helps strengthen our community. New skills, new perspectives and all that.”
Li had a thoughtful look as they made their way back to Sokka’s cabin. He had fallen quiet for several minutes until they were tucked inside where it was warmer and still smelled strongly of tea. Sokka wrinkled his nose as he gestured at the enclosed tins sitting on his desk with a question on his tongue.
“You know if you wanted to make some, I can get you some fresh water and a small burner for it?”
The soldier’s gaze followed his gesturing with a bewildered look as if the thought never actually occurred to him. It made Sokka feel even more confused about the enigma that he shared a cabin with. The man was truly an oddity, and Sokka found himself falling down the Turtle-seal hole for him. Even if it was a genuine pain some days. It was worthwhile to see the slackened expression and those rare moments of quiet consideration that eased the tension from his features as he thought over some idea or offer that the tribesman had thrown his way. He puzzled his way around most scenarios and took the most unexpected course of action in all things that had Sokka tripping after him with delight and amusement.
Li gave a little shrug at the offer as he spoke. “I don’t really enjoy drinking it.” He looked almost bashful at that admission as he fidgeted oddly beside the desk like he had something more to say but was holding himself back from it. He looked nervous but not in a bad way. It was cute actually. It made him seem far younger than he actually was.
“Fair enough.” Sokka chimed. “The offer still stands if you ever change your mind.”
There was a small breath of relief as Li nodded jerkily.
They were two days from the next port when a storm hit unexpectedly. Well, not necessarily unexpected. They knew one was coming but Sokka had spent hours in Hakoda’s cabin with his father and Bato trying to navigate a course that might help them avoid it judging by the way the clouds had darkened the distant sky and how the waves turned angry in their swells, churning up the blue expanse into something murky and ominous.
They tried to hug the coast as much as possible to avoid getting taken off course or dragged out into the higher waves, but it was hard when they were determined to avoid other ships that might be seeking safe harbor. Including enemy patrols. Hakoda had received several reports of Fire Nation ships in these waters over the past month. It only seemed to add to the risks they were taking to avoid being swallowed up by La’s rage.
The storm hit early in the morning without hesitation. Sokka was drawn to the deck in a flurry of movement as Bato cried out for all hands available. The tides were working against them as they were dragged away from the coast and towards the open sea despite their best efforts to avoid it. There was a cove a little further up that they had been hoping to slip into before the worst of the storm struck but time had not been on their side.
Sokka was a bit preoccupied in his efforts to keep their ship afloat that he failed to translate the warning to brace against a rogue wave. His head twisted in time to spot Li gripping the railing with all the force of a man tested and tried in years of seafaring. His golden eyes gazed out at the sea with an indifferent familiarity. An acknowledgement to La that he saw it’s anger, he could feel the heat of the lightning as it cracked across the sky but he would not bow beneath its roar. Another wave came, they braced and moved along with swift hands as they were rocked haphazardly from side to side.
Hakoda’s voice rose over the whipping wind that filled his ears. There was a flash of lightning, the shout to brace, then a slender figure in Water Tribe blue was swept over the railing with the sea. Sokka’s eyes blinked against the pelting rain as he watched Katla disappear beneath the churning waves. Inuk’s cries for his little brother were shrill in his ears. Bato moved to shuck his boots and coat off but before either articles hit the ground, the crew was wide eyed as Li leaped over the railing and into the waves with a single rope wrapped hastily around his waist. Sokka felt his heart jump up into his throat as cold dread sank into his chest. The whole world seemed to go slow and drag by as he watched Li vanish into the grey water then pop up like a tiger seal several yards away.
His lean figure cut through the waves like a bullet. Katla was trying to tread water without being dragged back under, his arms waved as he cried out for help. Sokka rushed to grapple the length of rope that Li had used which was also haphazardly tied to the mast in possibly the fastest clove hitch he’s seen. Bato was at his side as they held the end of the rope in preparation to pull them back in. Li had reached Katla in surprising time as he wrapped a strong arm around the younger tribesman and waved for the crew to pull them in. Li gripped the rope around his waist as they were dragged across the surface, holding their breath as another wave collapsed upon them driving them below before they burst back up, much closer as Sokka pulled, hand over hand to get them to the deck rail. More men gathered to help them up until both men were heaped on the deck, shivering and coughing sea water from their lungs. The crew dispersed back to their stations as they steered the ship to the cover of the cove. They could just make out the entrance through the sheets of rain that pelted the sea.
Bato and Inuk had Katla while Sokka dropped to kneel beside Li, as the man heaved in one large gulp of air after another. His dark hair was plastered across his face in wet clumps that obscured most of his features. He was red faced and shivering but thankfully alive as his numb fingers fumbled with the knot of the rope around his waist. It was a tangled monstrosity that Sokka couldn’t make heads or tails of, but whatever it was, it was effective enough to last even as he worked his own cold fingers to pry it free of the soldier.
“That was really fucking stupid of you to do, you know that?” He couldn’t stop the words from falling from his lips as he berated the soldier. Li simply laughed in between choked off breaths and shivering, shoving a hand up over his face to push the wet locks out of his eyes and tuck them back in a messy comb of fingers. Golden eyes met Sokka’s as he warbled.
“You say that like that’s new.” He dragged himself up slowly once the rope was freed from his hips and wiggled himself to his knees. The rain splattered his back where the tight black fabric of his clothes clung uncomfortably. Bato ushered all four of them down below to get changed into something dry and warm up some. Li didn’t protest as he shuffled along with Katla and Inuk trailing behind them through the corridors. The quiet drip of water pooling in their tracks punctuated their progress. The two groups parted midway as Sokka steered Li into his private cabin. The man was already stripping before the door was closed behind them, leaving his sopping wet clothes in a messy heap with little care for modesty.
Sokka bent to dig through his sea chest, grabbing a spare blanket and Li’s warmer winter clothes to bundle him up into once he was done. He didn’t even flush in embarrassment as he stood, naked as the day he was born and pawed at the clothes in Sokka’s offered hands to get his trousers on. His teeth were already chattering away noisily and his shivering was even worse now.
“I’m serious, Li.” Sokka started, continuing their conversation from up on deck. Li looked confused at first before Sokka elaborated on the topic. “You could have drowned. That was reckless and stupid.”
Li shrugged but the motion was aborted halfway through as he tried to pull the dry tunic over his head with its long sleeves and warmer wool. “Everyone else had jobs to do.” He said it like that was fact enough. As if that was a good enough reason to throw himself into a raging freezing sea to rescue a man he didn’t know and owed nothing to. To rescue one of Sokka’s people. He acted without hesitating. He was quick and practiced but that didn’t lessen just how terrified Sokka had been to see him hit the water or hear Katla’s cries for help ringing in his ears. To feel the tension of Bato by his side instead of out there where he would normally be the designated swimmer for overboard incidents. He was the strongest of them, better practiced and it was his responsibility. But not even Bato could contend with Li’s speed both in reflex and in swimming. Even in those chilling waves, Li was a force of nature that dared La to defy him.
Sokka wrapped the blanket around Li and rubbed the warmth into his shoulders as he backed him towards the bed. He didn’t have much of an argument left in him, still riding the adrenaline high of fear clinging sticky in his throat and worry run heavy in his veins with the rapid beat of his heart. He shoved the man back into the bed and urged him to tuck against the wall so the warrior could join him, but first Sokka had to change his own clothes into something warm and dry. Li didn’t protest or tense up at the action when Sokka climbed in beside him, it was like he expected it. Like it was practiced, just like everything else about Li that baffled him.
“Let’s get you warmed up before you catch your death.” He grunted, wrapping his arms around the still shivering soldier as he adjusted the furs to wrap around them, conserving as much body heat as they could. Sokka's hands worked to rub against Li's arms, back and shoulders to get his blood flowing and the heat moving through his body.
After half an hour, they both had stopped shivering and Li felt a lot less like a popsicle. The sound of heavy boots on the wooden floors of the passageway alerted Sokka to the approach before the knock came at his door.
"Sokka." Oh, he knew that tone of voice. Sokka was overly familiar with that tone of voice that says you're in big trouble mister and even though he knew he wasn't the target of said voice, he still felt himself shrink down into the blankets against Li's huddled body in a childish attempt to avoid it.
"Come in." Sokka called after a moment, eyes flicking up to Li's tired golden gaze. He looked like he was starting to doze off before they'd been interrupted, and was now blinking away the sleep to force himself to be more alert.
The door opened with Hakoda squeezing through the threshold. Bato was right behind him as they shut the door behind themselves and paused. There was a brief moment of confusion as both men looked around the room like they'd been hit with something unexplainable.
Bato was the one to voice his confusion with furrowed brows. "Why does it smell like tea in here?"
There was a breathy strangled sound in Li's throat that might have been a laugh but Sokka ignored it as he peered over the edge of the blankets and grumbled.
"Because Li likes tea." He freed a hand and waved dismissively.
"When have you been making tea?" Bato asked, even more confused. His attention fell on the decorative canisters on Sokka's desk that reeked of Ginseng and Jasmine. Hakoda looked just as frazzled as his second about this topic of discussion. Sokka couldn't blame them since he doesn't actually like tea either. It smells nice when made but other than that, he wasn't the type to drink any. He especially wasn't the type to hoard three large containers of it just to smell it all the time.
"I don't." Sokka huffed. "Li just likes the smell."
There was another strangled noise from the soldier that finally came out as a "Hey!" But that was as far as his argument went because there was no lie said. He was weird. He sat around sniffing tea and now Sokka's cabin smells like a tea shop.
Hakoda massaged his temples and sighed heavily, trying to get the rest of them back on track with tired exasperation. "Focus." He reminded Bato, who was now poking around being nosy with the tea tins. Li scowled at him over the blankets like he was a few seconds away from leaping out of their fur layered nest to swat Bato's hand away from the containers.
Bato straightened up and cleared his throat. "Right."
Hakoda turned his attention on his son and their prisoner with a look that dripped with paternal disapproval. And that hurt a little. Just a little. Sokka felt it deep in his gut as it tightened anxiously. His father wasn't happy about what happened on deck and Sokka was the one responsible for Li's safety and he shouldn't have even been on deck during a storm like that in the first place. He was a prisoner, not a crewmember.
"Li, do you understand the gravity of your actions earlier today?" Hakoda started, aiming a stern look at the soldier. Li disentangled himself from Sokka and the blankets as he sat up, freeing himself from any potential obstruction like he planned to bolt should things turn sour. Sokka noticed and dragged himself up to help diffuse any tension should it get to be too much for either party.
Li didn't speak, just sat stone still and listened. His eyes met Hakoda's with an awareness that almost felt like defiance as it kindled under the surface. His entire body was tense, like a loaded spring against Sokka's side. The warrior reached a hand over to settle it on the soldier's shoulder and watched him unwind just a fraction under his touch. It was enough to ease Sokka's nerves just a little.
When he still got no response, Hakoda tried again. "Do you realize that Sokka is responsible for your safety? That if anything happened to you under his care, he would be faced with the consequences." There was an edge of anger under those words, but also something more, something afraid that Sokka understood. Hakoda is the Chief of the Southern Water Tribes, he was put into that position because the tribes trusted his judgement and his honesty. They knew he would do right by them and stick close to their rules to ensure their safety and wellbeing as a whole. Hakoda would also be forced to stand by and allow the consequences to fall on Sokka should he fail in his task to protect Li, and he could not overrule the Elders' decree no matter how much it hurts.
Sokka understood all of these risks when he chose Li. He knew what it would mean if anything happened to the soldier. What he could be forced to give up in return based on the Elders' decisions.
Li had gone tense, eyes widened a bit startled by Hakoda's words. At the underlying weight they carried that wasn't spoken outright. He paled, swallowing hard as something seemed to click in his head. Sokka wondered if the Fire Nation had any similar rules like this in regards to prisoner handling. Or if Li's imagination was just running wild to fill in the possible gaps.
After a minute, Li finally managed to speak but it was in that stiffly formal way that Sokka hated hearing. He was closing himself off again, shielding himself from whatever was going through his head or around him at the moment. It felt cold and unattached. "Yes sir."
There was a pause then Li continued. "I understand that sir, but considering everyone else had a task they were already performing, I took it upon myself to act. When a man falls overboard, every second counts towards their survivability." He sounded like he was echoing someone else's words in that last part. A distant lesson from a superior maybe.
Hakoda noticed it too as he stiffened, just the tiniest touch of tension winding through his shoulders. Bato shifted uneasily by Hakoda's side, eyes fixed firmly on the soldier.
The room was too cramped and too quiet for the weight of these words. Sokka felt like he was the one going to scream if it continued like this. It felt like he was suffocating.
"Private Li," Hakoda started carefully. Li remained rigid as if his body was trying to force itself at military attention without being on his feet. "Have you had formal training for overboard scenarios?"
"Yes sir." Li answered easily, automatically. It felt unnatural and alarming to Sokka. Like he'd been forced to be something else crammed into armor without a single ounce of humanity to spare. It reminded him of how much he hated the continent's militaries. "I served for two years in the Fire Nation navy before being transferred to ground units."
Suddenly, a lot of things made sense about Li. Not everything, but a lot of things. Particularly the ones Sokka and everyone else had witnessed on deck. Bato spoke up in this regard.
"Did the Fire Nation train you for cold water rescue?"
"Yes sir." It came again, automatically but then after a thoughtful moment his face softened and the color returned in a pink flush as he grumbled. "But we uh...we ran drills in warm water conditions." Sokka couldn't help the huff of laughter that was punched from his chest at just how flustered Li looked admitting that little detail. The stiff posture melted away and that neutral unblinking expression looked young and embarrassed once the words filled the air between them. Just like that, the stifling claustrophobic air to the room evaporated as Bato snorted in amusement and Hakoda's jaw hung slightly agape in disbelief. He snapped it shut and sighed, shaking his head in dismay.
"Trained or not, Li." His father started, reigning them all back in to focus. "From now on, you are to defer to Sokka before making any more brash decisions. Failure to do so will be met with consequences. You are our responsibility. Do you understand?"
Li nodded jerkily. "Yes sir."
"Good." Hakoda relaxed now that the Chief portion of the discussion was finished. He looked about to say more when Li interrupted him.
"Sir, is he alright?" Li didn't need to specify who he meant. Sokka had wondered as well but was too busy keeping his own charge from becoming a prisoner-cicle.
There was warmth in Hakoda's eyes as he spoke, much softer now than he had earlier. "Katla is fine. His brother Inuk is taking care of him."
Li nodded his approval at that. "Thank you, sir."
Bato shifted at Hakoda's side, arms folded as he leaned against the wall beside Sokka's desk, taking care not to knock any of the decor off the walls. "Li, why did you save Katla?"
The soldier's head snapped up at that with bewilderment. "What do you mean?" He sounded like that question wasn't on all their minds. Like the thought of simply allowing a man to drown was inconceivable. Even if that man was the enemy.
Bato and Hakoda shared a knowing look between them before the second continued to explain. "You risked your life to save another man you didn't even know. Nobody expected you to jump in after him. It wasn't your job, he's not part of your crew or even from your country. You saved, what is essentially, an enemy to your nation that barely over a week ago you had been fighting a war against."
Li looked taken aback, dropping his gaze to the furs that pooled over his and Sokka's lap as he considered this question. His brows furrowed, drawing his scar closer as it pinched together in concentration.
"The sea does not discriminate in who it takes and neither does war. Men are the ones who show mercy in both." Li had that look in his eyes like he was echoing a memory again. The words of another, with a painful fondness seeping into his tone.
"Did your Uncle tell you that?" Sokka asked cautiously, curious. Li shook his head slowly.
"No, but my cousin did."
"Your cousin sounds like a wise man." Hakoda hummed.
Li nodded. "He is."
Hakoda and Bato shared another look that Sokka couldn't quite decipher but seemed to be the silent agreement that they'd stayed long enough. His father reached over to ruffle Sokka's messy hair in a fond departure. "I'll let you two rest and I expect you both to behave. We'll be waiting in this cove until the storm passes."
"Sure thing, dad." Sokka huffed amused, pawing at the locks of hair that fell softly in front of his eyes. Li's looked just as bedraggled and tangled as his after that dip into the sea. Bato opened the door and the two of them slipped back out into the passageway leaving them to their privacy once more. Sokka flopped back down against the pillows and was hyper aware of just how cramped and tight the cot was with both of them huddled close on it. Li sank down between him and the wall, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as they dragged the furs back up for warmth.
Neither of them spoke for a long time. He watched as Li started to doze off with the sluggish droop of his eyes as he tried to blink the sleep away. It was futile as eventually they slipped shut, the scarred side softening from where Sokka could see it clearly. The calm rise and fall of his chest in a steady rhythm secured his suspicions.
Li was sound asleep in Sokka's cabin when he left, carefully slipping out so he didn't wake the man from his nap as he snuck into his father's cabin. Both Bato and his father were seated at the desk quietly discussing something that hesitated the conversation suddenly and without warning. Their heads lifted to inspect Sokka thoughtfully before Bato waved him over with a hushed. "Come here."
Sokka raised a brow and quietly approached, leaning down to inspect what they'd been going over in secret. It was a list. A very peculiar list that Sokka realized after a quick glance, was about Li.
"Oh good, so I'm not the only one that thinks this shit is weird as heck." Sokka blanched, gesturing at the list as he read back over the bullet points so far.
Acrobatics
Unconventional escape methods
Two years of naval service
Service in ground unit (years unknown)
Private(?)
Dual broadswords (unusual weapon choice)
Sokka took the brush Hakoda was using to write with and added a few more in his not so neat writing. Hakoda watched his son’s strokes thoughtfully.
Nerve targeting in combat
"It hurt a lot." Sokka assured when Bato snorted in amusement and added more of what he knew about their odd prisoner.
Whip scars
Paranoia
Hakoda frowned at those two. "He may have been a prisoner of war in the past."
"Whatever happened to him before, it wasn't good. He's covered in scars, dad. I've never seen someone that messed up from combat before." Sokka spoke grimly, thinking back to after Li's first escape. He grimaced as he added. "And I think he-" He paused, drawing a quiet breath into his lungs. Bato and Hakoda gave him their utmost attention as he worked the words around in his mouth. They felt bitter and unpleasant. "He thought I was going to force myself on him. He's very skittish when it comes to-" He made an absent gesture then deflated miserably.
"I think someone might have….at some point before." Both men looked at Sokka with worry.
Hakoda stared down at the paper before him and frowned. "If that's the case, then that changes a few things. I'll keep that in mind when the Elders assign him lodgings." Sokka nodded and fidgeted with the brush in his hands. After a moment of hesitation, he scrawled out.
Victim
"With the way he looks, there had to be torture." Sokka quietly whispered between them. Bato gave him a knowing look that set the warrior askew. He felt uneasy, like an assumption was made but Sokka didn't have the words or understanding to call it out. So instead he frowned at the paper and focused on what else they knew about their strange prisoner.
"He recognizes celestial navigation." Sokka offered as a distraction from the heavier topic. He added it to the list as he explained. "When he asked to perform the vigil for his men, the first thing he did was track the stars to find a direction when we went up on deck."
"Certainly sounds like a navy man." Bato huffed, then his face screwed up into an expression like he caught something peculiar between his teeth and was trying to puzzle it out. "Wait, did he say that specifically? Did he call them his men ?"
Sokka stared at Bato with confusion as he thought back on their quiet conversation. Li had seemed so out of it that he didn't really think on it hard, but now that the warrior thought back….
"Yeah, he did. And it was just sort of autonomous. He was still really disoriented at the time." He explained, handing the brush over to Bato as he beckoned for it.
Vigil for his men
He underlined the last two words twice and stared at the page. Hakoda leaned back in his chair as he inspected the growing list between them all, chewing on his bottom lip in thought as he considered what all of this could mean.
"He talks like someone of much higher rank than a Fire Nation Private." His father spoke up with certainty.
"But that's what those men called him when they got captured. Private Li." Bato recounted that fight and the interrogation of the prisoners later on.
Sokka's jaw hung open as it struck him. Suddenly and without warning, he blurted. "Spirits that's fucking stupid! And brilliant. "
Both his father and Bato were giving the warrior strange looks now as he face palmed and groaned. "It's been right there all along."
"Care to share with the class, Sokka?" Hakoda urged his son with intrigue.
Sokka took the brush in hand as he wrote out the prisoner's name.
Private Li
Privately
"It's a play on words to hide their commander's identity." He pointed out. "I don't know why I didn't notice it before. It's too absurd to just-"
"No." Bato groaned. "No, I refuse to believe that this man's entire identity so far has been a scouting joke."
It didn't stop the breathy laughter from erupting inside of Hakoda's chest as he stared down at the paper and the words his son scrawled across the bottom. He laughed even harder and shook his head, smoothing his palms over his face with a heavy sigh.
"At this point, I wouldn't be surprised. Whatever his real name is, I think we can all agree that he hasn't been honest with any of us about his identity." Hakoda pointed out. "But, in all fairness, we never did interrogate him on the subject."
"We could always start now." Bato offered, straightening up. "These hardly seem like the skillsets of a common scout, Hakoda. For all we know, we might have intercepted a Fire Nation assassin and now we're bringing him home with us. That's dangerous."
"Even if he hasn't told us his real name, he's still been honest with us Bato." Sokka countered sharply, a low growl edging in his throat at the accusation towards his charge. "And he rescued Katla."
"Just because he hasn't been a threat to us so far doesn't mean he won't try in the future." The second snapped.
Hakoda held a hand up to interject on the heated discussion going on around him. "Enough.” His tone was sharp, slicing through the tension as he continued. “Li has followed the rules so far and behaved himself when asked. He has been honest and cooperative within reason. That's more than we can say for most of our past prisoners. Even if his methods have been strange, he deserves the benefit of a doubt."
Bato folded his arms firmly over his chest and sighed, seeing a losing argument ahead of him when Hakoda and Sokka ganged up on him like this. "So what do you propose we do then?"
Hakoda adjusted the paper in front of himself and gave it a long once over. After a minute, he finally admitted. "Talk to him. I don't see why we shouldn't give him a chance to explain himself and come clean."
"And if he doesn't?" Bato asked incredulously.
Hakoda shrugged and set the paper down. "We can't force a man to tell us his past. As long as he promises to continue to be cooperative and follow our rules, there shouldn't be a problem."
Sokka smirked, straightening up at his father's side as he nodded in agreement. Bato grimaced. "I don't like this idea much, Hakoda. I hope you know what you're doing with this one."
"Relax, Bato." Sokka hummed. "If worse comes to worse, I can always lure him in with my rugged charms and get him to spill his secrets to me."
Bato snorted at that, shaking his head. "Spirits, if we have to rely on that then the man just might take those secrets to his grave."
Hakoda broke out in a laugh as Sokka made an indignant noise at the mockery.
Notes:
You guys have no idea how long I've been waiting to make that Private Li = Privately joke and my fiancé groaned so hard when I told her it at the start of writing this. She has to live with my bad jokes and puns and now you all have to deal with it as well. ^.^
Zuko has no idea how much he's slipped up in trying to keep his cover, but its too late now. The not so fun interrogation part will be coming up so yay for that. I'll be jumping between updating this and my other fic To See The Soul, so one of those two will be updated in the next few days. It just depends on which takes my attention the most when I should be sleeping.
For those who may not have noticed, this is a no-bending AU because it made it much easier to work the worldbuilding around the war without the loss of half the South Pole and there was no air nomad genocide. Though they may have taken a hit at one point due to disease but it wasn't bad enough to wipe them all out. Also, Hakoda's fleet isn't the entire male population of the water tribe. More like half. The rest stay back and keep the tribe running smoothly when the war fleet is away.
Think of how Viking society runs. The warriors go out for a few months and come back with supplies or unique trade items for the colder months, while the fishermen, hunters, artisans, etc stay back home to protect their people. And they maintain trade routes with the Earth Kingdom so they're not as isolated as they were in the Atla series.
Thank you all for your supportive comments. I found a good laugh at some and was elated with others. I really appreciate it. Especially, CallMeNat who reminded me of the scene I had planned and noted, but almost forgot entirely because I was in a rush to get to class. So thank you so much! And yes, you did catch on to something I'd left to litter suspicions for Sokka, Bato and Hakoda.
Chapter 6
Summary:
Sokka and Zuko try hunting, Hakoda has some questions and end up with less answers than he expected.
Chapter Text
It was late by the time the storm passed, and the men opted to stay in the cove overnight and go out for an early morning hunt. Sokka was easily persuaded by the promise of fresh meat and Hakoda had permitted the decision with the acknowledgement that it would offer a boost in morale after the close call in the storm and the heavy weight of their lost brethren at sea days earlier.
It was Sokka's idea to take Li out with them on the hunt after he promised to stick close to his side and not run off. He looked indignant at being forced to swear good behavior and obedience, but once he stepped foot on solid land, Li's sour expression brightened. There were three other men accompanying them on the hunt, each had spears or clubs. Sokka had his boomerang which he was most proficient in, and they headed off into the woods in a singular line. Sokka and Li were at the front as everyone walked silently and kept their eyes peeled for signs of potential prey.
To Sokka's surprise, Li was the one to first notice the tracks. A hoof print partially obscured by fallen leaves from the breezy morning. Tawny short fur snagged on a rough patch of bark and broken twigs from where a sizable animal had moved through the underbrush. The subtle shift of tall grass already wind beaten to bow low had them gaining on their target. Li was fast and incredibly quiet as he drank in every detail in the forest that led him to their prey. Sokka had to admit, it was like having a Polar Dog to hunt with again. He kind of missed this type of reliable companionship as he kept close while Li did the work.
A few more hoof prints, some chewed up foliage and scrapings against a tree alerted them to the species. A gemsbok bull. It made sense with how wide the destruction was from passing through the brush and the sizable stance between the hooves when it stilled in the path. They managed to catch sight of it through the trees, quietly grazing in an opening.
After a hushed direction, Li, Sokka and an older warrior by the name of Alik took to the trees above. Tonuk and Kela remained below with spears at the ready. Li scrambled up into the low branches with practiced ease, slithering through the boughs like he belonged there pressed against the bark and fanning of leaves. The red hues of Autumn blended well with his red scout uniform that he had dug out of Sokka's sea chest earlier that morning. The warrior had been annoyed at the change of colors but found it ended up being a useful exchange now as he melted against the landscape.
The bull was slowly making its way towards their position as they waited downwind. Coiled for the attack, Sokka had explained to Li that they intended to drop onto the animal from above with the intent of driving it into the ground. With a well placed blade, it wouldn't have a chance to flee. The trick was avoiding the horns on the way down.
"Wanna give it a try?" Alik had asked in clunky Fire Nation when Li's eyes lit up with a flash of excitement at the perceived challenge. He shared a quick glance to Sokka for approval. Part of him worried about Li's safety, but knowing his acrobatic prowess so far, he doubted the man would be in much danger. So he nodded his affirmative.
Alik handed over his jawbone knife for Li to bury into the beast's neck when ready.
"If you can't get it to the ground, just jump off. Kela and Tonuk can finish it off with the spears." Sokka explained. He had gotten pretty good at switching between Fire Nation and his native Water Tribe, but was grateful that Alik knew enough of the former so he didn’t have to keep translating back and forth like this. Especially now when time wasn’t abundant and they needed to move soon or lose their prey.
Li nodded quickly and adjusted the handle of the knife in his grip, holding it with familiarity. Sokka noted, this wasn’t his first time performing an ambush from above. He moved like a pygmy puma along the branches, never a wasted step, every muscle coiled tight and ready. His eyes tracked the bull’s approach and readied himself for the drop. There was no hesitation when the time came. Li slipped easily off the branch and let gravity bear his weight straight down, narrowly missing the horns that were lowered at the time as the gemsbok bull nudged the foliage aside searching for fallen seeds and tender sprouts after the rainstorm.
The jawbone knife buried into the beast’s meaty shoulder, lodged painfully deep to the joint. It showed in the bull’s steps as it stumbled forward and attempted to buck Li off. The stab wasn’t enough to kill the animal but would effectively slow it down for Kela and Tonuk to give chase. Now Li just needed to jump off and get out of the way.
“Shit!” Li cursed. “Agni dammit!”
Sokka waited but the soldier was holding on tight. His hands gripped the animal’s horns as he shouted in alarm, riding it along as it bucked, jerked and kicked. It bounced around the clearing as the tribesmen all stared in wide eyed amazement. Alik’s shocked expression broke with a bark of laughter that howled in the trees above. Sokka couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face as the bull twisted suddenly and rushed for the brush, taking to the lower branches as if it would knock Li off. The soldier was flexible and quick to lower himself against the beast’s back as it bleated and crooned, stomping its hooves against the mud and slick terrain to lose its attacker. Like a pygmy puma’s claws sunk into the flank of its prey, Li was not coming off, even as a slew of curses and panicked shouts left his chest.
He held on tight until the bull collapsed from exhaustion, flopping into the mossy bed in another nearby clearing as Li sagged over its side and rolled quickly away to get clear of any hoof strikes should the animal catch its second wind. Kela and Tonuk rushed after him to finish the animal off. Alik retrieved his jaw bone knife as Sokka jogged towards his charge with a massive grin plastered across his face. Li was sprawled across the mossy terrain, sweat dampened and splattered with mud and blood, heaving in massive gulps of air. His golden eyes were wide as one hand rested over his heart but the grin didn’t leave his face for a moment.
“I told you to jump off if you couldn’t bring it to ground!” Sokka blurted as he crouched beside the soldier. Li snorted and waved his free hand in answer, panting out.
“But I brought it to ground.”
“I get the feeling you enjoy doing everything the hard way.” Sokka huffed out a laugh. Li shared one of his own once he finally caught enough breath to let it out. He was shaking with excitement still, his hands trembling and eyes bright. This was the most alive that Sokka has ever seen the man and it was breathtaking.
Alik, Tonuk and Kela prayed over the animal as they bled its life force out and sent its soul onward to the next life. They thanked the spirits for this blessing before they started the tedious task of preparing it to carry back to the ship. Li sat up and watched the process from his spot several feet away, tucking his knees to his chest as he observed the way the men worked. Sokka remained crouched at his side and hummed thoughtfully.
“The sea gives us life, but we’ve adapted to hunt wherever available. Whether it's on land or sea, we thank the spirits for their gifts and pay our respects to the animal that sustains us.” He explained. “We send a prayer to the spirits and usher its soul to another life, that it may be reborn again.”
Li nodded at that, then gave Sokka a thoughtful look like he had something he wanted to say. After a minute, he asked, voice uncertain and meek. “Can I- would it be alright if I- um…” His shoulders sank a little, looking dejected by his own hesitance.
“Do you want to pray with me for the Gemsbok’s spirit?” Sokka filled in, the smallest curl of a smile playing at his lips now.
Li nodded sharply and moved to sit on his knees, shuffling closer to Sokka. The warrior couldn’t hide the smile that spread on his face as he bowed his head and prayed. The words he spoke were old and didn’t have a proper Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom translation that would make any sort of sense, but the meaning they held stood true. In the corner of his eyes, he saw Li mirror him and close his eyes. His face softened in thought as Sokka spoke the prayer to the spirits Tui and La, and all the minor ones in between. Afterwards, when Sokka lifted his head, he saw Li switch from a Water Tribe prayer to something he could only guess was a Fire Nation one. His lips moved to form words but no sound followed. After a few heartbeats, he opened his eyes and straightened up, looking calmer and more at ease. The excited tremors had faded some and only showed in the tiniest shake in his fingers or the unsteady way he rose to his feet when the men were ready to head back.
The hunting party was back, and had come with fresh meat. Hakoda was relieved to see his son among the men, looking triumphant in their return with their prisoner smiling softly at his side. It was no match for Sokka’s enthusiastic grin as he cheered up towards the ship where Bato and the other men had gathered to help unload. They had field dressed, skinned and quartered the animal on the shoreline and brought everything of use with them back to the ship on the smaller boats, and left the rest buried in the soil back on land to be returned to the earth. Typically back home, everything could be used but they didn’t have the luxury of storage or the time to spare and supplies to process or treat it properly, so they made due when they could.
Li looked unharmed if a bit muddy and wet like he rolled around the forest, but was in just as high of spirits as the rest of the hunting party, which Hakoda opted to take as a good sign that there were no escape attempts this time around. He was startled when he overheard Alik and Kela telling Bato rather loudly that Li had taken the gemsbok bull down by riding it into exhaustion.
“The man forgot to let go!” Tonuk shouted up in their native tongue to the deck as he finished handing off the furs and snickered. “He looked like a ragdoll being tossed about on the spirits damned thing.”
Sokka was helping Li climb back up onto deck as Alik barked out a laugh. “Looks like Sokka found himself a new hunting dog.” The soldier paused to give Alik a scowl at the insinuation that caught Hakoda off guard. His hands stilled on the wooden rungs of the ladder before rolling his eyes and shaking the comment off and scaling the rest of the way to deck where he was greeted with a firm arm slung around his shoulders. He carded his fingers through the tangled mess of his hair and picked twigs free of it as Sokka laughed and chatted the soldier’s ear off while they descended below deck to get changed into clean clothes.
“You see that?” Bato asked, coming to stand at Hakoda’s side. The hunting party did a good job of distracting the rest of the crew as they spoke in hushed tones.
“Yeah.” Hakoda assured. “I did.”
“I don’t like this one bit, Koda.” He lowered his voice further. “He knows more than he’s been letting on.”
“I know.” Hakoda sighed. “I’ll have a talk with him once everything settles down and we’re back on course.”
Bato scoffed. “Hoping if things go south, he won’t have a chance for another escape?”
Hakoda didn’t have much to say about that. It would at least ensure Li stayed put until they were done with him. He couldn’t wiggle out of a porthole and slip away. He’d have to answer to them eventually and they had two days before their next port. They needed to figure this out soon and if it turned out worse than they anticipated, they still had a way to deal with him. They were approaching General Fong’s region at least.
Bato managed the crew while Hakoda called Sokka and a freshly scrubbed and newly clothed Li to his cabin. The soldier looked strangely comfortable in the water tribe blues that his son had purchased for him. He had to admit, Sokka had good taste in choices. It didn’t wash out the soldier’s already pale complexion or stand out too much with his shaggy black hair that was now tied up with a blue ribbon and drawn out of his face in something that was almost a wolftail. It was a little too high up for their traditional wolftails but still kept the stray strands out of his eyes. It also gave Hakoda a clear view of the gruesome scarring across the left side of the soldier’s face. It looked much worse close up like this with nothing crowding around it.
He gestured for the men to take a seat across from him, so they were on the same level. Sokka was more relaxed than Li, who moved with the familiar stiffness he always did in Hakoda’s presence. That military precision and rigid posture always at attention like he was expecting scrutiny should he lower his guard even a fraction.
“Private Li.” Hakoda greeted calmly, folding his hands together atop his desk. Everything was neat and organized, a passive expression directed at the man as he gave a subtle nod. The soldier shared a similar neutral air that shielded himself from the rest of the room. He expected trouble, maybe even danger judging by the tightly wound fists currently balled in his lap and the firm set of his jaw. He was trying to keep from telegraphing his feelings but hadn’t quite figured it all out yet. The man’s skills couldn’t contend with a Chief’s (and a father’s) wary eye.
“I have a few questions, if you wouldn’t mind answering them for me.” He began. “I would appreciate your continued honesty, please.”
There was a small twitch of annoyance that flashed across his face before he schooled it quickly and bit out. “Yes sir.”
Sokka’s relaxed posture stiffened at the soldier’s automatic answer. His son’s brows furrowed with worry, poorly concealed behind the fragile mask he was failing to maintain. Sokka cared, wearing his heart on his sleeve more often than not. Ideally, Hakoda would have preferred not to have his son present for this discussion, but Sokka was Li’s current guardian and knew the soldier’s normal behavior better than the rest of them. He knew what to look for, the warning signs when something was wrong. He would know better than Hakoda, when to end the discussion before it becomes harmful and how to handle him afterwards.
“Let’s start with an easy one.” Hakoda offered. “Can you state your name for me?”
There was a tense pause as the soldier inspected Hakoda warily before speaking. “Private Li.”
“And where are you from, Private Li?”
“The Fire Nation. The capital city of Caldera, specifically, sir.” That came much easier than the first question did. Without hesitation. Without the subtle twitch of tightened fists turned white under the weight of Hakoda’s eyes.
“You said before that you served in the navy for two years. Did you start out in the navy?”
Li shook his head slowly, aborting the gesture part way through as he swallowed thickly. His eyes shifted away from Hakoda’s like the thought pained him. “No, sir.” Was what he settled on. Something about his early years of service made him go pale. Talking about the navy didn’t give him that same reaction, he almost seemed fond of it when he mentioned it in the past. Much more willing to discuss it even in casual passing.
“How long did you serve before you entered the navy, Li?” This seemed to be a safer question as the man’s eyes settled back on Hakoda, no longer attempting to maim the wall with their pointed purposeful gaze.
“One year, sir.”
Hakoda nodded. “You seem to enjoy seafaring. Is there a reason why you left?”
“Orders, sir.” There was a pause, something bitter laced through his voice as he spoke. “If I had it my way, sir, I’d have never left it.” Hakoda could believe that. He shared a small smile with the man and it seemed to make him relax a little more. Sokka was still watching him, eyes fixed on the soldier as he studied his expression, his body language, his tone. He was vigilant and wary as each question went by.
“Are broadswords a common Fire Nation weapon?”
Li shook his head now, less stiff, more certain. “They were a special interest from my younger years. I was allowed to maintain it when I began my service.”
“And the nerve targeting?”
“A friend of my little sister’s joined the circus. She specializes in nerve points and acrobatics. She taught me quite a bit when I was a teenager.” He sagged a little against the chair as the questions became easier, more personal. Directed on hobbies and private interests. Things that he could be proud of, skills he acquired himself and could utilize as uniquely his own. It reminded Hakoda of just how young Li still was. He was barely out of his teenage years and it showed in moments like these. It made him seem so much like Sokka that it was hard to imagine him as an enemy assassin or some shadow operative in a Fire Nation special unit.
Which made the foreseeable questions all the harder to ask knowing what he does so far. He was trying to organize what he wanted to ask with the utmost care but there was no getting around some of these things. He couldn’t sugar coat it or avoid the tougher parts. He could only hope that Li wouldn’t clam up immediately when he started probing around.
“When did you begin your military service, Private Li?”
And there was the tension. It returned like a dark shadow falling over the man as all of Hakoda’s careful progress was lost. “I was sixteen, sir.”
“And you are how old now?”
“Twenty four.”
‘Eight years of service.’ Hakoda realized now, and there was that certainty sneaking into his mind once more. There was no way a man of Li’s skills and experience was still a Private, unless he had been repeatedly demoted for whatever reason. His thoughts drifted back to the whip scars Sokka had mentioned earlier, and how grisly they must be to make his son turn that shade of pale at the thought. Maybe the Fire Nation had even stricter codes of conduct for their soldiers than they first thought. Li had a dark past that he was hiding from and the more Hakoda poked around it, the pricklier and more closed off the man would get.
“After you left the navy, you said you were moved to ground units. Was it strictly scouting?”
There was a pause at that. Li hesitated, his knuckles tightened and his back went more rigid than before. It hurt Hakoda to just look at, as the man fell silent. He made no indication of answering, drawing a reluctant sigh from the older man as he thought of a different way to ask this.
“How long were you stationed in that mountain pass for, Li?”
More silence. The man’s eyes drifted away from Hakoda to fix on the furthest wall behind him and remained firm in his resolve not to answer.
“Have you ever been a prisoner of war before, Li?” Hakoda decided to ask. There was a quiet sound in the man’s throat, a strangled noise as if alarmed by the question but it was quickly smothered as he collected himself. He gave a short shake of his head, subtle enough to almost be missed. Hakoda noticed it, as did Sokka as both men went still and quiet.
He has never been a prisoner of war.
Those injuries were probably not inflicted by an enemy of his nation.
Those extensive and gruesome injuries may have possibly been inflicted by fellow countrymen.
Sokka looked like he was going to be sick. Hakoda felt similarly ill but shoved the thoughts away and forced himself to stay focused.
“Li,” Hakoda spoke slowly, ensuring he had the man’s full attention on him. Those golden eyes slid towards him and settled with reluctance. He remained stone still in his seat as he waited for the Chief to continue. “You will not be harmed while in our care. No matter what kind of information you give us, no matter what confessions you have to say, your safety is guaranteed. Do you understand me?”
There was a small delayed nod. Hakoda assumed that was the best he was going to get from the man considering the circumstances. So he surged ahead.
“I know your real name is not Li. I know your rank is above that of a Private, and I know that you can understand Water Tribe language better than you’ve let on so far.” That caught Sokka off guard, as the younger man’s head snapped up with confusion. Hakoda didn’t let it distract him as he watched Li go ghostly white in his seat. He was beginning to worry that the man was going to collapse any second. He noticed the sudden change in his breathing and the darting glance of his eyes past Hakoda but he never turned his head away. He always kept the chieftain in his line of sight like he was afraid to turn his back on the man.
Hakoda held a hand up to placate the man. His voice softened considerably, a sympathetic look directed at the panicked soldier. “I won’t force you to divulge these things to me, Li. But I would appreciate your honesty when you’re ready to come clean about it. I won’t judge you for your past, as long as you promise to follow our rules in the future. We’re offering you a fresh start, Li. A chance at a new life, if you want it.”
It took some time for this information to sink in and make sense to the man before he started to visibly relax. Hakoda noted that as a small victory before continuing. “If you need anything, if you need us to know anything that might help you feel more comfortable in the future, please let myself or Sokka know, Li. We won’t judge you.” He sighed and gestured absently. “We’ve all been through this war and I understand that it leaves its mark on men. If you need to talk, my door is always open.”
He didn’t miss the tiny wince that flashed across Li’s face before he closed it off again with a small nod of understanding. Knowing there was little else he would be able to get from the man like this, he allowed Sokka to coax him back to his own cabin. Li rose stiffly at Sokka’s beckon, one hand reached out to steer him by his shoulder towards the door. He moved without purpose. His eyes tore away from Hakoda reluctantly and he looked even more uncomfortable turning his back on the chief. He was nervous and afraid, even after Hakoda’s reassurances. It made him wonder just what was going through that man’s mind right now and what had to have happened to him to make him that way.
A pleasant morning and a successful hunt had bolstered Li's mood, but after the quiet interrogation in Hakoda's cabin, the soldier had resumed being a silent unapproachable shell. Sokka knew it was unfair to blame his father for this but it didn't stop how bitter he felt towards his dad for usurping all his hard work like this.
Li had settled down in the far corner of the bed and curled his knees to his chest. His back was crammed against the wall as his whole body seemed to lock up. His eyes were fixed on a blank spot on the bed beside his feet as he stared distantly, unaware of Sokka's own observant gaze focused on him. None of the tension ebbed away from him, as he remained stiff and defensive.
Sokka tried to talk to him, to coax him out but he didn't so much as twitch at the sound of his voice. The warrior had the thought of reaching out to him, but after a moment, thought better of it. So instead he sat at his desk and patiently waited for the soldier to come out on his own. He tried to occupy himself with busy work but his gaze kept darting back towards where Li was seated. He hardly blinked. It was unsettling and Sokka wanted to storm across the hall and scream at his father because this felt entirely uncalled for. He understood that Hakoda was the Chief, he knew the risks having someone from an unknown background like Li on the ship, and he understood that his father had tried to approach this with as much care as he could, but sometimes Sokka wished his dad would just leave well enough alone, and let Li be fucking happy for once.
Eventually Sokka forced himself to go over maps and charting courses, writing lists of supplies for the next port and doing everything he could to keep his mind distracted. When the cabin started to grow dark from the changing shadows, Sokka reached for another lantern and set it on the corner of his desk, his hands hovering near it when he spotted the pai sho tile design on the tea tins. They had been partially buried under discarded parchment and were left where Li had set them earlier.
He picked up the container of Ginseng with its white flower design and moved it around in his hands thoughtfully. Tearing his eyes away, he glanced back at where the soldier still sat, unmoving for nearly an hour now and weighed his options. Forcing himself to his feet, he moved stiffly at first before his sore back loosened enough to straighten up without protesting. He held the tin firmly in hand as he settled onto the edge of the bed near Li’s feet.
Li didn’t move. He didn’t twitch or blink. His breathing remained the same as it had been for the last hour. A steady slow pace. Were his eyes not open, Sokka could have assumed he was asleep sitting up. He offered the tin to the soldier but he didn’t respond. Sokka moved it in line of his sight but he didn’t do more than blink. Sighing after a few minutes of no reaction, Sokka pried the lid off but kept the flower pattern facing up and allowed the smell of the tea to fill the room with the herbal aroma.
He wasn’t as fond of it as Li was, but he could deal with the scent if it made his charge happy. He gave the tin a little shake and reached in to move the dried tea leaves around to get more of the smell into the air. Li took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He stayed like that for several minutes. A deep breath through his nostrils, filling his chest slowly before a long exhale followed. Sokka noticed the subtle hitch in his breath after the third or fourth time, the way his shoulders sagged a little more each time and the relief that slackened the tight muscles in his face until he looked more relaxed. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes before he let his head drop and his shoulders shake with whatever had built up inside of him all this time.
Hesitantly, Sokka reached out for Li’s hand. The man flinched before allowing calloused fingers to guide his towards the raised design of the tile. His fingers started absently tracing it as he focused on each quiet breath.
Sokka’s hand drew away to leave Li to it, whatever makes him feel more at ease through all of this. He kept that steady pace of breathing, fingers splayed across the tin as his thumb swiped over the flower pattern with the smell of ginseng cloying in the air.
Another hour passed as Li sagged in the corner, loose limbed and still absent. His tears had dried, he still didn’t speak but he was moving on his own. The tea tin was poised in his lap when Sokka left to collect their meals. The fresh meat was tasteless on his tongue as they ate in uneasy silence. He couldn’t even enjoy their accomplishments from this morning and Sokka was still angry about that. Hakoda had approached him when he left the cabin but didn’t ask after Li when Sokka shot a disapproving look towards his dad. The Chief just looked pained in return as Sokka collected their meals and turned away, leaving him and Bato standing in the passageway staring after him.
The warrior was at least relieved to see Li had eaten everything in his bowl. The tin had been set aside on the bed, the lid slipped atop it haphazardly as the soldier sank down into the layers of furs as if to hide from the rest of the world. Sokka didn’t begrudge him that as he took the tin and secured the lid but left it beside the pillow in case he still needed the comfort of it. He gathered their bowls and by the time he returned, Li appeared to have fallen asleep tucked against the wall. He looked tiny beneath all those furs. The blue ribbon woven through his hair where he wrangled the chaotic mess up into some halfway decent Fire Nation form of a wolftail.
He bedded down in his bedroll on the floor and stared up at the ceiling breathing in the fog of ginseng and listening to the waves lapping against the hull as they rocked side to side. His mind wandered back to the conversation in Hakoda’s cabin as he wondered what exactly was going on. Clearly they were missing something important in regards to Li’s identity, and it itched at Sokka’s thoughts for a long time. He kept digging at it over and over again, turning everything they knew over in his head until something started to form on the fringes of understanding but he was too tired to quite place his finger on it.
Whatever it was, he doubted it amounted to a Fire Nation assassin or some special operative in a shadow unit of Fire Nation soldiers like Bato and Hakoda feared. It had to be involved in the parts of Li’s life that he didn’t want to talk about. The parts before his naval career, the ones that were probably the cause of those scars that littered his body. The whip marks and Spirits, maybe even the burn on his face. Sokka grimaced.
He didn’t blame the soldier for not wanting to talk about it and he hoped this would be the end of any further grilling his father intended to do. Anything more and Sokka was afraid they’ll shove Li over the edge and he won’t come back. There’s only so much a man can endure like this and he was already under a lot being a captive on an enemy ship. Sokka was trying his damndest to help make it easier but his father wasn’t making it easy on him.
Chapter Text
The silence was disturbing. Sokka hated every moment of it as Li acted without thinking. He did whatever Sokka told him to do. He didn’t respond vocally when Sokka talked to him, just providing nods or shakes of the head. If he was lucky, the soldier would mix it up and give him a shrug. It was infuriating and the more he had to deal with this, the angrier he was at his father. Hakoda seemed to sense it and skirted around Sokka or avoided him and Li entirely when they were outside of the cabin. Bato was running interference after catching the first of many dirty looks that he had directed at his dad.
Sokka had hoped that a good night’s sleep would reset everything and give a fresh start but life didn’t work that way and Li was still a walking statue trailing behind Sokka or sitting quietly in the corner of the bed. He ate whatever the warrior put in front of him, he sat with the tea tin open in his lap and didn’t react when Sokka spoke to him in Fire Nation. He even tried to butcher a few of the words hoping to get a rise out of the man, but even that failed to urge his prickliness to shine through.
They were still a day away from port but Sokka felt like if he didn’t leave this ship soon, he was going to lose it. He needed to get Li to shake out of this slump he’d fallen into. Night couldn’t have come any faster and the next morning they made port with swift winds filling their sails through the night.
Hakoda stood on deck and watched as Sokka stormed down the gangplank, one hand dragging Li behind him, holding the soldier by the wrist. He followed without protesting. His eyes never strayed in search of an escape route. Even when they reached the crowded streets, Li stuck close to Sokka’s side, always within arms reach as their shoulders bumped together. His eyes fell to the ground, brows pinched in thought as they slipped through the hustle and bustle of market goers and merchants shouting out their deals and sales with hopes of catching the attention of interested customers.
He didn’t slow down or stop. They just kept moving. Normally Sokka found relief in spending hours perusing through vendors, enjoying the thrills of a good bargain and a well planned shopping spree but the list he devised was still stuffed in his coat pocket, forgotten as his feet continued to move with no sign of stopping. They had clearly left the market and moved into the more residential portions of the town where there were less people and the buildings were crowded together and much smaller. Sokka could tell some of these were for multiple tenant housing and much poorer and dumpy looking. There was a pygmy puma that raced out of an alley away from them, bolting from a waste bin that had been tipped over at some point.
Sokka’s footsteps slowed as he looked around, feeling Li’s presence close to his side as the soldier shifted to match his pace. His hand twisted a little in Sokka’s grasp, drawing the warrior’s attention to it. It wasn’t in a way that was trying to pull free and after a moment, he realized sheepishly that he had been clutching Li’s wrist painfully tight. The mild grimace on the soldier’s face portrayed his displeasure at this, causing Sokka to relax his grip before letting go completely. Li didn’t really seem to know what to do with that and just stared down at his arm before massaging the place the warrior had been holding.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Sokka started before his voice faltered. “I just needed to get away from the ship for a little bit.”
Li gave a small nod at that. Then, softly he asked. “Are you mad at me?” His voice sounded roughened by emotion and brittle from disuse.
“What?” Sokka felt his heart sink inside his chest as Li’s golden eyes lifted to meet his. His mouth went dry at the miserable look in the soldier’s eyes. The small flash of fear that traveled across his face, the way he cradled the spot Sokka had been holding onto him, not out of pain but something that could have been longing. Maybe Sokka was reading too far into this, maybe he was looking for things that weren’t there and fooling himself but he couldn’t help the hope that stirred there. “Li, I-”
He took a deep breath and spoke calmly. “Li, I’m not mad at you. If anything, I’m upset with my dad for you. ” He sighed and continued. “Even if you kept secrets from me, I’m not mad at you. I couldn’t be. And even if I was, I have no right to be. You’re not here willingly. You’re a prisoner as a result of the war and don’t owe any of us a thing.”
Sokka shifted in the middle of the street, painfully aware of just how alone they were right now. If Li wanted, he could run and Sokka wouldn’t even care enough to chase him down. He may just turn his back and walk away, allowing Li his freedom once and for all.
Li never fled. He just stood there, watching Sokka with those eyes that burned with so many questions and the shadow of doubt that fell over his face. His voice was barely above a whisper as he asked. “Even if I lied about who I am?”
The tribesman nodded, blue eyes softening with sympathy. “Whatever your reason may be to hide your real name, I understand and I won’t push about it. If and when you’re ready to tell me about it, I’ll be here.” He reached out to give the soldier’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. Li leaned into the touch and crowded closer to Sokka, head hung a little as he nodded. “I just hope your real name is better than Private Li of all things. Because buddy, that name is awful.”
That managed to get a small smile from the soldier as he nodded in agreement. “It’s not so bad.” He tried to protest but it was weak. “Once you get used to it.”
“ Once you get used to it. ” Sokka gave a breathy laugh. “Maybe one day I’ll get used to it.” He patted Li’s shoulder thoughtfully as he steered the conversation and glanced around the empty street.
“I have a bunch of shopping to do and I really don’t want to go back to the ship yet. Think you can deal with the crowds long enough for me to run my errands and burn off some steam?”
Li nodded in agreement.
Sokka chuckled. “Hope you know that means you’ll be helping me carry shit.”
Li nodded again, this time with a small smile attached. “S’better than sitting around doing nothing.”
“Good man.” Sokka chimed and steered them back to the merchant section of the port town. They blended easily into the throngs of eager consumers whisking from vendor to vendor and storefront to storefront. The smell of street food filled their nostrils from small stalls and side restaurants preparing to feed the hungry masses that moved through the ports. A bite to eat was tempting but first they needed to focus on the important items on Sokka’s list. They could always come back later with a few of the crew and enjoy a hot meal that isn’t made of their sea rations. Sokka was eying the barbecue and noodles being advertised at a shop near the docks specifically.
“Anything in particular that you need?” Sokka asked as they inspected the assortment of goods lined up neatly on racks and shelves. Li just shrugged absently as he walked behind the warrior. They stopped in a small shop that sold all sorts of small goods like spices, teas, and various other goods of a similar nature. There were blocks of chocolate, bags of rice and finely ground cane sugar. Closer to the counter were containers of tobacco from various parts of the Earth Kingdom, some of which were advertising special blends from Ba Sing Se. Li wrinkled his nose at the display and made a disgusted noise as he crept around it as if avoiding the smell entirely. It drew an amused laugh from Sokka as he nudged him.
“A lot of soldiers take to smoking to ease their nerves. Especially in the navy, it's common for men to stand on deck and pull a pipe for a bit. Passes the time.” He grimaced as if reminded of something unpleasant but not in a dangerous way. More of an annoyance if anything.
“I take it you don’t like the smell?” Sokka teased. Li nodded in agreement.
“When you’re stuck on a ship and everyone smells like it, it quickly gets old.” Li described. Sokka had a feeling he understood Li’s misery and thought glaringly back at the tins of tea sitting on his desk clogging up the air of his cabin with the overwhelming scent of Jasmine. Yeah, he could sympathize a bit. The thought must have shown on his face, because Li stiffened then turned red in the face, flustered and suddenly avoiding eye contact with Sokka. He chuckled and patted the man on the back.
“Don’t worry about it, bud.” He gestured at a large display shelf full of containers of spices and asked. “Anything you want as a taste of home?” Li shifted uneasily at his side as he studied the display. After a moment, he took much more care in his inspection and frowned, picking up containers to give them a more thorough examination before picking out a few. Some Sokka didn’t even know what it was, while others were like chili flakes, cinnamon, and a black ground up spice that sort of looked like pepper but smelled sharper and had a smoky kick to it. Apparently it was more common in the Fire Nation or the colonies near the border.
“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” Sokka asked after a moment as he added Li’s choices to the counter. Li frowned at first before looking at his collection.
“You don’t have to eat any of it.”
“It's a bold thing for you to assume I have the self control not to want to give it a try.” He hummed as the cashier gave them strange looks. She was uneasy as her gaze shifted from Sokka’s easy going smile to stare at Li. The soldier didn’t appear to notice, or if he had, he was an expert at ignoring the odd expression on other’s faces in his passing, but Sokka noticed and it felt like a punch to the gut. She was staring at his scar and his eerily golden eyes. He suspected the fact they’ve been wandering around the shop speaking in formal Fire Nation and not Earth Kingdom common probably also didn’t help. His smile faltered a little before he switched to the safer phrases of Earth Kingdom common to drag her attention back to the task.
“It’s a nice day out, isn’t it?” He opted for the distraction as the woman flustered briefly at being noticed before forcing her customer service smile and professional front back up.
“It sure is.” She spoke with saccharine sweetness as she finished tallying their goods on a small piece of parchment. Sokka handed over the money and gathered their things up in an empty rucksack that he’d had the mind to sling over his shoulder before darting out of his cabin earlier.
They departed from the shop and made a beeline for another that sold various pieces of carved furniture and trinkets. Sokka had noticed there were trunks and chests for storing personal items and cargo inside of being displayed out front and veered inside where they could look at the assortment.
“You need one for your own things.” Sokka explained quietly in Fire Nation, gesturing at the chests to get Li’s attention on the task. “Don’t worry about the price. I’ve got more than enough.” He understood that from what his father implied, Li knew Water Tribe well enough for Hakoda to notice but judging by his horrible attempts to speak it, Sokka didn’t want to subject either of them to the sound of Li trying to fumble his way through complex pronunciations just to have a normal conversation over grocery shopping. He didn’t know if Li was well versed in Earth Kingdom and Sokka needed plenty more practice with his Fire Nation anyway so this was the safest bet. If people had a problem with two Water Tribesmen speaking Fire Nation, then they can just keep it to themselves.
There were a handful of different options when it came to the trunks but the one that stuck out the most to the soldier was a decorative piece with turtleducks fire branded into the sides and lid. The sweeping shadows portrayed them swimming delicately across a placid lake scene with long cattails growing along the edges. Sokka knew that turtleducks were a common farm animal, most often domesticated and raised for food in the Earth Kingdom, as well as an abundant source of wild game but he hadn’t expected Li to be drawn to the design with its tranquil scenery.
The piece looked like it would be more fitting for a child or a decorative piece in a family room, not something one would expect a soldier to take as their personal storage on a ship. He was amused by it as he spoke to the clerk in Earth Kingdom common and purchased the trunk. They deposited their earlier purchases inside of it where Li was able to hoist it into his arms with ease and grinned over the lid with satisfaction. Maybe Sokka will finally get the smell of tea to disperse from his cabin with it locked away inside the soldier’s chest. He could hope at least.
They stopped into a clothing store to pick up a few articles of clothing to finish padding out Li’s wardrobe. A cloak, spare socks so he wasn’t borrowing Sokka’s so much until they could get to the South where he could get better ones and eyed a pair of boots. After several minutes of contemplation, Sokka dismissed the thought and decided they could get better insulated ones at home, and he wouldn’t need to pay so much for them either. Nothing beats a pair of seal skins in the dead of winter, that was for certain.
There were some additional small clothes that Li picked out and some new hair ribbons that weren’t borrowed from Sokka. A new belt was tossed into the mix that pleased the soldier immensely before they paid for their things and headed to a bookstore at Sokka’s urgings and Li’s enthusiastic agreement. Half an hour of perusing led to Sokka finding a new map and a few cultural texts that would interest Katara as well when he returned. He found Li was standing near a section filled with theater scrolls from various regions, face tight with concentration as the scarred skin around his eye seemed to pucker more as he pawed through the shelves with a look of indecision.
Sokka cast an eye over what had been bothering the man when he noticed the cause of his frustrations. There were dozens of scrolls but the seasonal sets Li had fixed his gaze on were themed with five different plays per box set. At first glance, Sokka didn’t understand the purpose of each season and what exactly made them special until Li started to explain, or more like rant, his conflicted feelings about which to choose.
Winter contained tragedies, Autumn was rife with war and adventure, which Sokka figured the soldier had experienced more than his fair share of, so he ignored both of those. Spring was for romance and family oriented plays filled with feel good moments and hope, while Summer was packed with comedies and dramas. This was where the tough choice came into play as Li weighed his options between the romances and the comedies. Spring or Summer?
“Which would you enjoy more?” Sokka asked thoughtfully.
Li frowned. “Well, I haven’t really read many Earth Kingdom plays so I’m unfamiliar with most of these.” He lifted the romance in hand and inspected the scrolls for a long time before turning an eye to the Summer collection. “But I’ve also heard conflicted reviews about their dramas. My cousin says they leave much to be desired compared to the older Fire Nation tales we grew up on, but he also thinks the Ember Island players did a good job with Love Amongst the Dragons so his opinion is revoked by default of bad taste.”
His face crinkled with a look of unrepentant disgust at the indignity of whatever the Ember Island players had done to what he assumed was a beloved play in Fire Nation culture. Sokka couldn’t help the laugh that burst from his chest at Li’s expression before patting the soldier on the back supportively.
“Sounds like you know your plays pretty well considering.” He teased gently and inspected the collections. “You could get the Spring collection and a few of the solo plays from the Summer one that catch your interest the most.” He pointed at the rather cheap cost of the scrolls each displayed individually for those who already have an incomplete collection. Li seemed to consider this as he held the Spring collection close then gave a nod of agreement. He picked through a few of the comedies and found two that took his fancy before they moved to the counter to pay.
Feeling satisfied with their haul, Sokka led them back to the ship through the crowded market. He caught a few glimpses of water tribe blue bumping around the streets in search of various goods as they passed. Inuk, Katla and Tonuk were buying souvenirs. Alik and Kela were looking at knives. He spotted Bato and a few of the older warriors carrying crates to the ship and could make out the familiar silhouette of Hakoda standing on the bow of the ship watching over the crowd as the tribesmen dispersed.
Sokka was feeling a lot less anxious about facing his dad than he was earlier and found little holding him back when he took his first steps back up the gangplank with a more relaxed and talkative Li at his back.
The whole crew had gathered to head down to a noodle shop that Sokka had scoped out earlier in the day, hoping to catch a hot meal together for the first time since they left the Earth Kingdom encampment. Prisoner Li had accompanied them, always trailing at Sokka’s side like a loyal polar dog at the heels of his master, head cocked and listening for the younger man’s words of direction. He held himself in a way that felt guarded at first, but the more Bato had observed the man, he realized it was a byproduct of his apparent disability. He had suspected the burn scar that marred one half of his face may have left unseen damage in its wake, which seemed to be either full or partial blindness in his left eye and maybe even hearing impairment in the same ear. He couldn’t entirely be certain without taking the risk and asking such a personal question. He wouldn’t, of course, having learned from Hakoda’s miserable last few days as to what seemingly innocent questions could lead to. He certainly didn’t want Sokka’s anger turned on him on top of it all.
Bato couldn’t fathom what military force was desperate enough to take a man so severely impaired into combat, and was simultaneously impressed and worried as to how Li had become so skilled of a combatant to have fended off numerous opponents even with his obvious handicap. It implied years of hard fought practice. Either the soldier was the luckiest man in the world, or he had pissed off a very powerful figure in his government that wanted to see him as miserable as possible.
Hakoda had filled him in on how the interrogation had gone in the privacy of his cabin shortly after Sokka started giving the man looks that could kill.
"From the sounds of it, we may have overestimated him." Bato stated regrettably.
Hakoda was hunched over his desk, distraught by the anger his son was currently harboring towards him and the fact that Li must have been in a bad way afterwards. "I'm beginning to think he was more of a victim than some assassin type. For all we know, the man could be hiding from someone far worse."
Bato nodded sagely and sighed. "Just give them time and space, Koda. Sokka knows how to manage Li, and he'll cheer up once Li starts doing better. He's still young."
"They both are." Hakoda hissed. " Tui and La that boy has been serving his military for eight years, Bato. Sokka wasn't even allowed to see combat for at least two more years and by then, Li was already in the navy."
"You know the Fire Nation handles things differently, Koda." Bato had tried to assure his oldest friend, placing a hand on his shoulder when Hakoda gestured wildly.
"Who sends a child to war?" The incredulous burst of his voice was strained with a mixture of disbelief and anger. "He was just a boy for Spirits sake!"
"Koda." Bato spoke firmly, dragging the Chief's attention towards him as he frowned. "Relax. Dwelling on the past won't fix the present or ensure a better future. Pick up the pieces and move on."
Hakoda gave him a look of distress, brows furrowed as the conflict of his feelings waged inside him before it all collapsed under a heavy sigh. "You're right." There was a pause as he held the words he wanted to say on his tongue before finally letting them out. "As a father, it's hard to imagine someone letting their child go into that willingly."
Bato had nodded in agreement, and let his friend wilt under his thoughts and wrangle himself back to some semblance of composure. He had still been so miserable in the following days until they had reached port, with Sokka still giving him the cold shoulder and Li moving about by his side like an emotionless drone always defaulting to Sokka's urgings before doing anything. He wasn't prickly or scowling like he normally would and it bothered the whole crew. It made them worry as they orbited around the two men and watched fretfully from afar.
They understood in some sense, what they were seeing. They have all had more than enough experience in this war, encountered soldiers in the Earth Kingdom encampments or seen their own loved ones react this way when something horrible has happened. They knew and it pained them all to watch and know there was nothing they could do to soothe this situation. Sokka was already handling it to the best of his ability.
So when the men returned from the port and both Sokka and Li were in better spirits, with the latter quietly chatting the warrior's ear off about something involving plays, the whole crew seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief. There were more genuine smiles directed their way and it carried on as the collective made their way in a rowdy pack towards the noodle shop.
They crowded around the tables taking up more than half the shop's available seating with Li and Sokka sitting at a long table surrounded by Katla, Inuk, Alik and Kela. Hakoda and Bato steered towards the end of the table, close enough to catch the banter of their youngest crewmembers but still allowing them some space.
A kindly smiling young waitress came to take their orders, and shared a knowing look with Li who harbored a mischievous smile on his face as his eyes took in the sign on the wall above the counter. Bato tracked his gaze to find a Hot Pot special.
"Chief Hakoda, sir." Li's voice called down the table drawing Hakoda's attention. If the man's head moved any faster, Bato estimated he'd give himself whiplash. He swallowed the breathy laugh that bubbled up in his chest as Li, in a very formal way, challenged Hakoda to an eating contest with the Hot Pot special. Sokka was grinning maniacally at his side, half leaned towards Li where they had been whispering conspiratorially earlier when they first sat down.
Bato recognized that desperate look in Hakoda's eyes when the man recognized this as an opportunity to make amends. He understood that it was hard being both a Chief and a father, which Koda struggled to balance in his personal life. It occasionally forced a strain on his relationship with his children when duty came before family, and he was always snatching at little opportunities to reforge or strengthen their bonds when he felt he had messed up in some way to wound them.
Hakoda didn't even hesitate to agree which led to him swapping seats with Alik, and Bato switched with Kela to make the challenge more official looking. Bato was seated beside Sokka while Hakoda was across from Li.
Everyone else had ordered regular bowls of noodles and watched with shielded smiles as the large bowls were carried in carefully by their waitress. The broth was a bright red and Bato could smell the spices as it passed, wrinkling his nose at the sharpness.
Li, the little shit, had made a show of adding even more after requesting chili flakes and a hot sauce. He dumped them into his bowl with a little extra dramatic flare that had everyone's eyes widening in alarm. Sokka was leaned back in his chair, chopsticks still held between his fingers with wide eyes and a satisfied smile on his face. Hakoda looked regretfully at his own steaming bowl of broth and noodles, and mentally prepared himself for this challenge.
"Might want to pray for strength on this one chief!" Kela snickered from down the table. The men at other tables twisted in their seats to watch with grins and anticipation. Alik counted down before the two men set upon their bowls with eagerness. Hakoda's face was a twisted expression of immediate regret after the first bite. Li was already slurping down his third bite by the time Hakoda managed to get a second to his red tinged lips. The broth was hot and the steam was pungent in its fiery scent. His friend's eyes were already tearing up after four bites. Li was still going strong and taking his time. His face wasn't even flushed. Hakoda on the other hand looked like he was wishing La would bring the ocean to him and swallow him up if it meant the fiery agony in his mouth would stop.
He was forced to concede defeat at barely halfway. Li had finished his bowl and downed all of the spicy broth with the ease of a volcano and licked the lingering heat of sauce from his lips.
"Earth Kingdom spices are mild compared to back home." He announced cooly, taking a drink of his glass of water. Hakoda sighed, shoving the bowl away as he rubbed the racing tears from his face and ignored the sweat that dripped from his brows. Bato snickered and patted his friend on the shoulder in solidarity.
Li rose from his seat and held a hand out to the Chief, his expression suddenly stern when Hakoda met his gaze. It softened when the man awkwardly locked hands with the soldier as he declared clearly. "Consider us even now." The flash of a wry smile and the relaxed sag of his shoulders had Hakoda, in his miserable state, smiling like the King Fool in enthusiastic agreement.
That smile never slipped from the Chief's face though it had relaxed some as he spent the rest of the evening pacing his breathing and shedding his coat to lessen the heat that tormented him. Li took pity on the man and ordered him a soothing milk tea and a side of rice to calm the heat. Hakoda was grateful for the mercy afforded him by his victorious opponent and the rest of the men laughed and teased. A few had taken to trying bites of Hakoda's remaining pot after the chief left it in the center of the table in a silent declaration of fair game.
Bato wisely avoided it, but watched as Inuk dared Katla to try it. Katla, to everyone's amazement, actually liked it enough to order one of his own. Inuk was near tears after the first bite and swore up and down that Li had infected him with Fire Nation immunity when he pulled him from the ocean. Alik, Kela, Tonuk and a few others gave it a try then immediately regretted the decision with breathy coughs and frequent sips of water or tea to calm the fires on their tongues.
Hakoda had gathered enough of his composure to chat amicably with Li and Sokka, which resulted in Hakoda swiping a dumpling from his son's plate when he wasn't looking. The ease in which they fell back into their usual father-son dynamic reassured Bato that nothing had been damaged in the fallout these last few days. Li was settling in well with the crew and, despite being the wounded party in all this, had settled the score between him and Hakoda in a harmless friendly eating competition. Bato wouldn't have been surprised if he had instead chose to lash out, turn aggressive or cold towards the chief after what transpired, but he chose to settle things in the most Water Tribe way Bato could think of.
He knew Hakoda had been thinking the same thing by the visible relief that rippled through him when Li spoke those magic words. The shared delight, the smile that never waned, the ease that they now talked food and the cultural significance of spices in the Fire Nation like they were old war buddies had eased Bato's concerns about all of this.
Sokka was right.
It didn't matter if Li was keeping secrets from them right now. They could cross that river when they come to it. What mattered was that he was steadily becoming just as much a part of their tribe as they were. Hunting, praying, and even eating like them, with jovial conversations and light hearted challenges. He could be prickly and unapproachable at times, but he could also be rowdy and unapologetically sassy in the best way, spitting witty retorts that have Sokka or Koda sputtering and red faced in laughter.
It was a nice change, Bato realized. It was a change that Hakoda and Sokka definitely needed.
Chapter 8
Summary:
I interrupt your regularly scheduled program of Zuko and Sokka feels to bring you this important bulletin.
A quick glimpse at the Fire Nation's reaction.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Captain Jee!” This wasn’t good. The entire encampment was in an uproar at the news as the scouting party returned four men short. Reiki and Beni were in a panic as they relayed their reports, barely maintaining a modicum of regulation as they reined their words in to be clear and concise, explaining that they were ambushed by Water Tribe warriors. The Earth Kingdom knew, they somehow knew they were being watched but they had no idea how they knew. Very few people were aware of this and those who did were all on the scouting mission, with the addition of Captain Chen, Fire Prince Zuko and himself. They had been careful, and yet, they’d been captured.
Jee was trying to manage this mess and take the names of the men who had been lost to enemy hands. Deirdre, Sheng, Kit and Li. When Captain Chen had asked which Li this was, Beni and Reiki were at a loss for words as they stumbled through an explanation of who Li was and that he’d been scouting with them for the last three months.
“There is no Private Li assigned as a scout.” Captain Chen had told them, but they were speechless.
“Sir, you must be mistaken. He’s been with us for months. He wields broadswords. He’s really hard to miss.” Beni retorted as he gestured at the small stature of their lost companion, presumably the youngest one present in the scouting party. “For Agni’s sake, he shares meals with us each night.”
Captain Jee shook his head in dismissal as they tried to figure out what to do with all of this. Something itched at his thoughts that something was wrong. He was missing something obvious but with the shouting and noise, it was getting hard to think straight with the impending headache setting in.
Whirling away and leaving the two soldiers to Chen’s orders, Jee stalked his way towards Prince Zuko’s tent, determined to get the younger man’s thoughts on the situation. He rarely left his accommodations unless absolutely pressed by Jee, and only in the heavy cumbersome ceremonial armor forced upon his station. He was displeased by it at the start of this assignment, infuriated by everything that had befallen him so suddenly with this ragtag gathering of soldiers camped out in a seemingly useless pass. Both Chen and Jee saw it for what it actually was, Prince Ozai trying to send his son far away and out of the capital for some reason or another. They suspected an underhanded hope that the man would either die to the enemy which Prince Ozai could twist to bolster support in the war effort by spinning a sob story about his lost son, or Prince Zuko’s efforts might actually bear surprising fruit by sheer dumb luck than anything else, and the Fire Nation benefits either way.
Captain Jee didn’t agree with either of these methods, and he despised how it had the young Prince all wound up and strung out when every week, a messenger hawk would come with the same old orders forcing him to stay in this Agni damned pass without sparing an inch of ground for other more useful efforts. Prince Zuko had his heart set on aiding General Shinu further inland but Prince Ozai’s continued orders prevented him from straying.
As grim as it was, Jee suspected this slight from the Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes would be the push that prince Zuko would need to finally get the battle he’s been itching for.
He announced himself before entering the prince’s tent, but when no answer came, he pushed inside to find the entire tent empty. There was a single lantern burning softly on his desk. His cot was made neatly. His ceremonial armor was sitting ignored on the sturdy wooden armor rack. His correspondences were laid neatly across his desk as Jee leaned over and spotted the last coldly worded directive from Prince Ozai. Another week of forced idleness and a failure to provide the sufficient supplies the camp needed to maintain it.
The decorative broadswords that always hung so neatly on the wall that the prince had quietly explained were antiques, were now missing from their hooks.
‘Private Li.’ The thought struck him suddenly like a wash of cold water down his spine. ‘He wore broadswords on his back.’
“Oh Agni that idiot!” Captain Jee snarled, disbelief clogging his chest as he stormed out of the tent and very nearly ran into Captain Chen, who’s bewildered expression was wild eyed and confused. Jee snatched at the front of his armor and dragged him back inside the tent without a word of warning. Chen cried out in alarm before blinking around the tent with widening eyes.
“Where is Prince Zuko?” He blurted, then lowered his voice at the urgent hiss of Jee to quiet him.
“Prince Zuko is Private Li of the scouting party.” Jee hissed, voice going low and cautious. Chen blinked once before spewing a stream of impressive curses more fitting of a sailor.
“What do we do?” Chen asked once he composed himself enough to question.
Jee frowned, thinking hard on their next step. If the Earth Kingdom has taken them prisoner and knows they’re here, they might make a move on the camp next. “We need to retreat. There is a fall back point. If the others manage to escape, they’ll know where to regroup with the rest of the camp.”
“And what about Prince Zuko?” Chen pressed firmly.
“If he’s pretending to be Private Li, and the rest of the scouts believe he is Private Li, then he’s far safer than we are. If he’s lucky, they’ll manage to escape and the enemy won’t recognize him.”
Chen snorted derisively at that. “Since when has that man ever been lucky ?”
Jee grimaced. “It may not look like it, but that man has Agni’s cruel blessing one way or another to have survived this long.” Chen considered the thought and finally nodded his head in agreement before they began to relay orders under the guise that Prince Zuko was still safely inside the camp.
Thankfully it was the right call. They didn’t have long before the Earth Kingdom led the charge on the camp. The battle was short as a unit remained behind to hold the soldiers and warriors off while the remnants of the camp finished packing and moving deeper into the mountain pass where the roads were too treacherous to give chase. Under Prince Zuko’s orders, they had scouted this entire area rather vigorously to the point that the Fire Nation was more familiar with its twists, turns and eroding edges than the Earth Kingdom army and they utilized it to their advantage.
They waited at the rendezvous point for two days before news came from the second scouting party that the Water Tribe warriors were leaving the Earth Kingdom encampment and that they had prisoners with them headed up the coast, going North. Checking the maps with Chen, Jee estimated that they were being taken to an Earth Kingdom fortress that regularly took in prisoners from the Fire Nation.
“Perhaps we could send word and have an ambush prepared to intercept the prisoners? They’d need to travel on foot to take them to the fortress.” Chen offered, fingers tracking the only roads that led to the fort. It would take four days by sea to get there but over a week on foot. This was possibly the only way to rescue their men if they haven’t escaped on their own before they’re lost to the Earth Kingdom for good unless they manage to negotiate an exchange of some kind. They had to pray that the Earth Kingdom doesn’t discover Prince Zuko’s true identity in that time otherwise things could get even messier.
Without much else to go on, they sent a hawk and planned a rescue.
Two days after the ship was expected to land, there was no sign of it.
Three days after the ship was expected to land, they got word that the ship had gone down and there were only two survivors. Both had been Water Tribe.
Five days after the ship had been expected, one Fire Nation scout had crawled their way to a Fire Nation camp and collapsed.
A week after the ship was expected, Jee received word that Sheng had survived the storm that had taken their ship but the rest were lost at sea. He was the only survivor on their side. Deirdre was too injured from the battle the night they were taken to swim on his own, and Kit had attempted escape before, resulting in him being chained down. When the ship sank, Sheng couldn’t get him free. Nobody knew what happened to Private Li after they had been taken into Water Tribe custody.
Rumors in the camp had spread that Private Li had been executed late one night after drawing a knife on his captors. Others say he was killed when wolfbats had attacked the Earth Kingdom encampment. There were visceral tales of a crudely descriptive nature detailing the state his mangled body had been in after he’d been left chained to a tree and a wolfbat had mauled his defenseless body. Sheng couldn’t confirm whether any of these tales were true, but he had heard the Earth Kingdom soldiers telling them to one another with twisted glee and grim warning.
The common agreement among all of these rumors was that the man was dead.
Captain Jee dreaded writing that letter. Every brush stroke was heavy and mournful as he explained to the best of his ability, what had happened to Prince Zuko. The official story was that Prince Zuko had died fighting alongside his men in defense of the mountain pass against Earth Kingdom advancements. The intervention of Water Tribe warriors had resulted in the Prince’s untimely and unexpected death.
The messenger hawk flew with grave news on its wings.
A week later, Prince Ozai’s answer came in the orders that Prince Zuko had been dying to hear from his father for months. They were to finally return home. The pass was forfeit. The casualties they sustained these last six months were wasted. The Fire Nation lost a bright minded young man who would have made an admirable leader one day, and Prince Ozai was unaffected by the loss of his son.
Captain Jee has never felt angrier in his life than he was the day those orders arrived in the same cold uninterested stilted hand of Prince Ozai.
The sea was eerily calm when the news flew in. A letter from his father marked by the golden seal and royal insignia. Lu Ten took it in hand but the usual joy he gained from correspondence with his father had faded. The sea was eerily calm as if it were mourning and regretful. The scroll tube was heavy in his hands as he made his way to his stateroom before unfurling it.
It took several minutes for the words to make sense in his mind, the grave news hitting him all at once as tears stung his eyes and blurred the inky lines together. His little cousin had fallen in battle. Brave little Zuko, fiery and courageous. His compassionate little Zuko, small and always eager to please. The sickly boy with a love for swords and a burning desire to learn. The cherished little turtleduck in their family of large otherworldly dragons, that trailed after him and his father wherever they went. Who looked up at Lu Ten with starry eyes and made the boldest claims that sounded more fitting coming from the mouths of the heroes in the theater scrolls he adored.
Fire Prince Zuko, who could quote the entirety of Love Amongst the Dragons from beginning to end without faltering. Who watched his little sister with a mixture of fondness and worry in his eyes, who stood up for the downtrodden, who defied Prince Ozai’s daunting shadow and blossomed beneath Lady Ursa’s loving touch.
The tears came quickly and without any sign of stopping as he crinkled the letter in his hands. Lu Ten mourned his cousin’s death silently in the suffocating quiet of his stateroom. He wished for his father’s comforting presence instead of the familiar words staining the wrinkled parchment before him. His grief was immeasurable.
A day later, they received the official news of Prince Zuko’s death on the battlefield. The sentiment was absent even through the fancy phrasing that made his death seem valiant and honorable. Lu Ten didn’t doubt that Zuko was honorable in the end, but he didn’t need to be told that by decree of a man who saw no honor in his own child. Lu Ten worried about Princess Azula and Lady Ursa, he fretted about his own father and how this news had affected the older man.
His worries grew when days later, his father started sending him letters steeped in denial. General Iroh refused to believe that his nephew was dead. He spoke of spirit tales and late night whispers inside grief riddled dreams that Prince Zuko was safe and sound but far away. He told of his prayers to Agni, begging for the sun to watch over his little spark.
Lu Ten cried over these letters too, unable to find the words to tell his father that their little Zuko was gone. Instead, he asked after the rest of their family. He inquired about Prince Zuko’s men who were lost at sea. He wondered if Zuko’s final wishes should his untimely death come were being respected. General Iroh reassured him that the prince’s remaining military pay, to Ozai’s great distaste, was being split between the families of the men who died alongside him, and that a majority of the pay he had generated during his time in the mountain pass, had gone to funding their supplies after Ozai had repeatedly ignored or neglected to send the necessary supplies to support his son’s efforts.
As infuriated as Lu Ten was about that, he had very little say in the end in how Ozai treats his children. His father, despite many efforts to intervene, has even less say though he tries his best to appeal to Fire Lord Azulon in regards to his concerns but even that could only go so far before grandfather would remind him of his position.
Lu Ten tried his best to reassure his father, to distract him from his grief and tried not to let the sting in his words of denial hurt as much as they did, but he was only human. Their ship took to port, finding neutral ground to settle at for the time. No amount of stalking the deck could calm his frayed nerves or the painful ache in his chest as his grief crept over him. The rest of the crew were wary of their words, walking on eggshells around him for so long. It was unfair when they were all stuck in such close confines so when they finally docked, he had been grateful for the chance to escape and drown his sorrows in the nearest bar.
The place was as shabby and unkempt as he’d expect of a port stop, and it was just how he liked it. He had shed his Fire Nation armor and slipped into something entirely unexpectedly civilian and ignored the fact that it defied regulations. He scowled into his glass of fire whiskey, finding a familiar grimace reflected back from the dingy glass of the cabinets behind the bar. Two, three, four drinks in, he was feeling more miserable by the minute as his thoughts danced with regrets and anger that bubbled up in his chest until he was choking down the last sharp swigs of his drink and lamenting the fact he had to go back on that ship and continue his own assignment. He was angry that he couldn’t just cut the patrol short and go home, to seek out his father and find reassurance in familiar arms.
He was contemplating ordering another drink when two men settled down into the seats beside him at the bar. They were loud and slightly drunk already judging by their loose tongues and unfiltered words.
“-a Fire Nation ship in the harbor?” One of the men groaned as he cocked his head back and slammed the drink down with a painfully large swallow.
His companion scoffed. “Maybe they’re chasing after that Ashmaker the Water Tribes were hunting through here a few days ago.”
“Huh?” The first guy huffed. “Whatcha mean?”
“Oh yeah, ya missed it. Ling and I were hauling cargo to some rich merchant ship when we spotted an ashmaker climbing atop the rooftops. Ling thought it was a street performance or something. Then we noticed the little fecker was being chased by some big Water Tribe warrior.” The man grimaced as he paused long enough to order another drink from the barkeep.
“Did the savage catch him?”
“Hm? Oh yeah. Saw ‘em carry the bastard over his shoulder back to his ship from the beach. Guy looked pretty messed up. Had this ugly scar or something across half his face.” The man gestured to the left side of his face with a look of disgust. The taste of whiskey on Lu Ten’s tongue was bitter but hope flashed like a flame igniting the alcohol in his gut. He stumbled to his feet, knocking the chair back, the legs scraped alarmingly loud on the floor as he blurted at the men.
“When was this? The Fire Nation soldier you saw?”
The two men turned on him with wide eyes before they narrowed on him suspiciously. Lu Ten grimaced as they locked up, eyes fixed on his clearly Fire Nation appearance despite the civilian attire.
“What’s it to you?” The second man asked, his words slurring together with the weight of his drink. His companion shifted uncomfortably on the seat as Lu Ten’s fists balled tightly at his sides. He ground his teeth and felt the heat of the booze spike through his veins as he spoke firmly.
“Because that man was my cousin.” He couldn’t hide the pain in his voice as it strained in his throat. The second man thought about it, his head lolled back as he cast a lazy eye around the room. Lu Ten assumed that was the signal that he was done talking to him. Anger burned hot in his chest and crawled up to his tongue before the man’s eyes returned to give him a long look. Then, he finally spoke.
“About five 'er six days ago. If I recall, maybe longer.” The man hummed, leaning against the counter with a sideways smile that may have actually been an uncoordinated grimace. “The savages stayed in port fer a few days. Saw a big commotion on the deck before they shipped off. Think that man tried to escape again but he didn’t make it to shore.”
Slamming a few coins onto the table top, Lu Ten paid for the two mens' drinks with a rushed, “Thank you.” before bolting out of the bar. His feet moved quickly as the news sobered him enough to make it back to his ship. He didn’t stop to talk to any of his men along the way, his mind racing a mile a minute with the knowledge that Zuko was alive.
Prince Zuko was alive and was on a Water Tribe ship. He had attempted to escape at least twice.
His beautifully resilient and stubborn little cousin was still fighting with everything he had to come home. Lu Ten knew what he needed to do, but it would require discretion and a much more sober mind before he started to compose his letter to his father. First an apology, he realized, and then the revelation. Something heavily coded to avoid detection should others in the court take note of it.
But first, sobriety was a priority.
Notes:
And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming of Zukka feels.
Things that make my fiancé consider divorce as a viable option.
1) me naming this chapter Jee Wiz in the google docs.I was so tempted to give this entire story named chapters just so i could call this Jee Wiz in an official capacity. But I love my wifey just a touch more than I love tormenting everyone else with my puns so I did not. (Also cause I'm lazy and that requires more effort than my non-caffeinated ass was willing to provide at that hour without copious sustenance.)
Thank you all again for the wonderful commentary so far!
Side note: I know a few folks have asked this question before in the comments and I would like to state this for everyone to know. Zuko is NOT experiencing Stockholm Syndrome. It looks that way from the outside, but he is fully capable of fleeing his captors if he wanted to, he can get his hands on weapons if he tried, and he is fully willing to obey their orders because he chooses to. He is not entirely dependent on them for all of his needs, he is not forcibly isolated from others and he is not withheld basic needs in any way to force him into compliance.
He's just chilling and also trying to figure out what the hell is going on because he never expected being a captive would be cozier than being in the Fire Nation military. Zuko got bamboozled by Sokka's puppy dog affection to find anything friendshaped and cuddly enough to risk getting quilled for.
I know some folks have mentioned that they might not be comfortable with the stockholm syndrome thing on top of the Sokka/Zuko relationship tag, but its not stockholm syndrome, it just sort of looks like that from the outside. Zuko is completely willing. He isn't being coerced into anything except having the deal with Sokka's dirty socks on a regular basis.
Chapter Text
Zuko was forced to face the fact that he just might be going insane. He was certain if his family saw him right now, they would most definitely have him committed for psychiatric evaluation in the nearest hospital because he was very clearly not thinking straight.
But then again, he rarely ever thought straight when it came to matters like these. In fact, he was fumbling over the very terrifying revelation that he actually might like Sokka and it didn’t scare him as much as he thought it should. It made his stomach all tight and fluttery in that anxious way that he first experienced when thinking about the handsome male protagonist in one of the more adult romantic plays Lu Ten had given him when he was fifteen. He didn’t feel this way at the detailed descriptions of the lusty maiden that leaned over the bar towards the charming soldier, but when the descriptions exchanged to focus on the soldier’s physical appeal to draw the attention of the female viewers, Zuko found his face heating quickly and his throat going dry as he imagined firm muscles and wry smiles, strong hands calloused from years of swordsmanship and a voice that rumbles along his ear speaking filthy promises that his teenage mind could only grasp at in theory.
It wasn’t even the strangest part of his little self-discovery since at the time it happened, he was being forced to prove his worth as a healthy and virile heir to maintain his position in the family or lose it to Azula. Jokes on the court, Zuko probably couldn’t get it up to a woman if he tried while blindfolded. Years in the military surrounded by men of a similar shape to the charming heroes in his beloved plays only seemed to make that fact more concrete.
Possibly the only people aware of this fact were cousin Lu Ten and maybe also Uncle Iroh, both of who weren’t at all bothered and seemed to only take it as an opportunity to shove more interesting men in his direction with hopes of catching his eye and coaching him on the finer points of flirting that he failed to grasp. He couldn’t help the fact that he could oftentimes be socially awkward and inept at speaking to someone on a personal level without stumbling over his words or turning into a flustered prickly mess.
Considering their current situation, Zuko doubted he should start now and begin trying to woo his captor. Not like Sokka would bite. The other man didn’t appear all that interested and had made his stance clear early on. The prince still couldn’t ignore the feelings that were bubbling up inside his chest from the moment Sokka slipped between the furs to help warm him after he dove in after Katla, the feeling of warm hands rubbing his shoulders and a hard body pressed against his in the cramped claustrophobic space of the cot. The tickle of his breath against Zuko’s neck and the low rumble of his voice as he berated him with worry in his bright eyes.
The way Sokka gravitated towards him when Chief Hakoda wanted to speak with him. The fiery determination in his eyes when they left for the hunt and Zuko’s panicked attempts to survive the bucking Gemsboks bull and not get trampled or gored in the process. The victorious gleam and burning pride in the warrior’s eyes at their successful hunt. At Zuko’s success. The way he welcomed the prince to pray by his side and the warmth in his voice as he led it with quiet reverence. Zuko could drown in the sound of Sokka’s voice speaking his native language. The deep notes of his voice rolling across his tongue in complex and ancient syllables. The delighted look that flashed in Sokka’s eyes when the prince had pulled out the Water Tribe blue lighter outfit and donned it with comfortable ease. How Sokka’s gaze never left him as he admired the fit and smoothed out the wrinkles with an absent brush of fingers over Zuko’s shoulders that seemed to linger a touch too long but not long enough in the prince’s mind.
It only made him feel even guiltier when Hakoda took him aside for questioning. Sokka’s eyes never tore away from Zuko even if the prince couldn’t clearly see it on his left side, he could still feel it. The tension that hung heavy in the air between all three of them as the words left Hakoda’s lips and took a minute to sink into Zuko’s head. The whole world felt like it was spinning around him, like earlier’s good mood had been wrenched from his fingertips. This felt like a trap, like the floorboards shattered beneath his feet and he was being plunged into the sea without a rope or raft to keep him afloat. He felt like he was drowning as each question pulled at the painful parts of his life that he had tried to bury with every fiber of his being. He hated it, how it felt like a blade digging into old wounds, ripping them back open to bleed fresh and fester.
Like when the healers would carve into him under the pretense of helping but all he remembered was pain and cold eyes, the warm embrace of his Uncle or his mother’s arms holding him still as he weakly thrashed against their hurtful touch. The weight of drugs in his veins as he begged for it to stop. For the pain to go away. For the burning to end.
Twisted smiles, harsh words and hidden blades awaited him in shadows. Zuko had to remain on guard. He had to run and hide from the rippling reds of silken robes and sharpened words. Freedom didn’t exist when even the world outside couldn’t save him from the bitterness of a poised tongue aimed like a dagger at his throat. He scraped for scraps of approval, begged for fair and equal treatment, shouted his voice raw against injustice but was ignored and cast away.
He stole into the shadows and turned the same dagger on the men who held it first. He drew blood in the sand and watched as bulging eyes rolled back with queasy conflicted satisfaction.
‘Dead men don’t speak.’ He thought coldly, as weapons lowered and words of retreat pulled back to the ranks that overshadowed him. He masked himself in blue and ran rivers with blood, returning the pain that had been inflicted upon him. The snap of a whip, the crack deafening in his one good ear, the delayed register of pain. The tear filled eyes of an Earth Kingdom teen not much younger than himself, hook blades scattered across the ground where he’d been disarmed, lying amidst the stolen rucksack of food for starving children. A blue mask reflected in frightened brown eyes as Zuko bore the boy’s sins upon his back in thick red lines that bled sluggishly through the dark fabric.
He cast himself in shadows as he often always did, and saved the children his nation was harming. He cast himself in shadow and killed men undeserving of their positions. He was gilded in armor he didn’t want and felt the drip of warm blood between his fingers, tacky and cool across his skin in the cold nights.
Zuko felt guilty for many things, but only one did he regret. He knew he was more of a danger to Sokka and his tribe than they realized. Their questions were misleading, they thought they had all the pieces figured out but they were only grasping blindly at the shadows shifting in the night. They barely scraped past his darkened silhouette, focusing too much on what the moonlight showed to catch the glow of eyes near the fire.
He had receded back into himself, thoughts heavy as he was forced to wade through this battlefield of indecision. He struggled to find his footing, feeling as if each time he made sturdy ground, it would be swept back out from underneath him and he resumed flailing in the waves and continued his search once more. It was exhausting as he weighed his options. It was no secret that the prince was hiding things from Sokka, but they weren’t meant to harm them. This was Zuko’s fight in the end, but he knew his opponents never played fairly and they would inevitably get dragged into the middle of all of this. He knew they should be better prepared. They needed to understand what they were getting into. What they were welcoming into their tribe.
Sokka had reassured Zuko repeatedly that he wasn’t mad at him for keeping secrets. Even for hiding his name. Zuko cradled the lingering warmth of the warrior's fingers wrapped around his wrist and yearned for its presence once more. He felt unsteady where he stood, like the ground was barely keeping him upright but every word out of Sokka’s mouth added to the fragile foundations and solidified it a little more.
His confidence was growing, slowly like a fire fanned from a single spark, he spread and found stability for the first time in days. He fumbled after the olive branch Sokka shared with him and clutched it desperately with both hands, chasing after the man with hope alight in his heart. He needed to say something. He needed to tell Sokka. If this was where they stood, if this was the level of trust Sokka had in him, that even knowing Zuko was hiding things from him, he still wanted Zuko around and wanted to bring him home with him, he needed to say something.
It got harder and harder to approach the subject, and eventually Sokka had succeeded in thoroughly distracting Zuko from the worrisome task by dragging him along shopping. It was enjoyable for the prince as he was allowed to indulge in little comforts like the turtleduck chest and the romantic plays that he ranted about for quite some time. The warrior listened with genuine amusement as Zuko explained the intricacies of character arcs and foreshadowing that some playwrights excel at while others are just pure trash, and the comedy gold of some satire works that had him and Azula in fits of laughter as children.
This pleasant distraction even lasted through dinner when Zuko made the bold decision to extend a similar olive branch to Chief Hakoda. Seeing the Chief buckled over the table groaning in misery at the heat of the hot pot was the perfect revenge to soothe his ruffled pride, and not long after, Zuko’s pity for the man’s sorry state allowed him to relent and have mercy on his fallen opponent and deliver this gift of relief. The milk tea and rice were actually recommended sides to accompany the dish but the prince had talked the waitress into foregoing them just to see how Hakoda fared. Sokka thought it was hilarious and supported his decision and judging by the woman’s face, she assumed this was a friendly match between comrades getting even.
It felt nice to be able to talk to the Chief in a way that felt like common ground. Zuko wasn’t in chains, stuck up a tree or seated in his cabin under scrutiny for his behavior. Hakoda wasn’t acting as Chief currently in any capacity and that gap of subordinate to superior had vanished. Even the much larger gap of Captor and Captive had vanished between them as the night went on and Hakoda shared stories with him and Sokka about past hunts and older pranks he and Bato had gotten away with in their youth.
It was that absence of expectations between them that bothered Zuko the next morning when he woke up on the floor of Sokka’s cabin with the bedroll wound up around him in a bundle of warmth and the soft sounds of the warrior’s snores coming from the cot. They were still in port and would be for the rest of the day at least, from what Zuko could gather from the night prior’s conversations. It hung heavy in his gut through breakfast and grew heavier as Sokka sat them both down to start sorting through Zuko’s belongings to place it all inside of his chest.
His red scout uniform had been washed and scrubbed by Tonuk and Kela who were on laundry duty this time around. His black outfit had joined the pile of clean clothes along with two large furs he didn’t recognize at first. He cocked a brow at the heaps as Sokka rolled them carefully up across the bed to be added inside the chest.
“Wolfbat.” He lifted the thicker black fur that was considerably smaller than the second. “The one that attacked the camp, and this is the Gemsbok bull. I asked Bato to treat them for you.” The sideways smile was bright despite the early hour and the tiredness that still clung to Sokka’s every muscle. The stiffness of sore limbs didn’t go unnoticed by the prince when the warrior crawled from his bed, and he certainly didn’t fail to see the dark healing bruises that littered Sokka’s ribcage and arms where he had lashed the man all those days ago. Now a faint and fading yellow, he was still sore and tender.
The guilt ate away at Zuko until he felt the acrid burn of bile in his throat. Sokka trusted him despite having dozens of reasons not to. The warrior didn’t blame him for the pain and trouble the prince inflicted on him. He wasn’t ever angry or upset with him. He just accepted what was going on with grace and carried on. He took everything Zuko had thrown at him and still cared enough to keep trying.
Sokka didn’t seem to notice the pained look on the prince’s face as he elaborated, tucking the furs away securely inside the chest. “Now these are your stories to tell when we get home.”
That was the breaking point but Zuko couldn’t keep hiding like this.
“Sokka, I-” His voice caught in his throat as he reached out to touch the warrior’s shoulder to draw his full attention. He swallowed thickly and forced himself to maintain eye contact even if a part of him wanted to turn away and stare at the wall. To look anywhere but at Sokka. He didn’t want to see the disappointment or anger that might be there. Or worse, the disgust he might harbor towards him. “I need to tell you something important.”
Sokka went still before relaxing, allowing himself to remain open and thoughtful as he listened. “Okay.” It came so easily and it made Zuko’s stomach curl unpleasantly.
“It’s about the pass.” He started, then stumbled forward into a quick correction. “About why I ended up stationed there.” He worried his bottom lip and thought back to the weight these words had carried for so long. If anyone knew, if anyone overheard, it would mean his execution. Any confessions or concrete proof used against him would be the final nail in his coffin.
Sucking in a deep breath, he forced the words to come. “I killed a very important Fire Nation Admiral. It was in self-defense, kind of. But nobody could prove it was me, they could only suspect and so it only warranted my change in post.”
Sokka looked alarmed and maybe even slightly amused at this admission, which wasn’t what Zuko was expecting but he could work with that. “Who is they ?”
“A few very powerful people in Fire Nation politics.”
“And it was in self-defense?” Sokka asked slowly.
Zuko nodded, drawing his hand away from Sokka’s shoulder as he fidgeted, fingers falling to mess with the neatly folded clothes still sitting on the cot in front of him. “Sort of.”
“Explain.” The warrior asked, confused and worried.
The prince shifted uneasily as he thought back to the night he snuck into Pohuai Stronghold to get important information that was being withheld from them. He refused to allow his men to be used as someone else’s decoy again so he had taken to being well informed and formulating back up plans with Captain’s Jee and Chen. They never questioned where he got his information or who his sources were, only remained grateful that it was accurate and avoided unnecessary casualties.
Zuko sucked in a deep breath as he started to explain. “I didn’t know he was in the stronghold at the time and he sent the Yuyan Archers after me. They were going to kill or capture me if I didn’t get away, and he came after me himself. It was a split second decision but I may have decapitated him.”
The warrior looked shocked before a bark of laughter escaped his chest. He asked, incredulously. “You may have decapitated him?” There was another laugh as he cursed in Water Tribe. “Spirits, how hard were you swinging to succeed with broadswords? ” Then there was a pause before Sokka asked, a little hesitant and cautious now, morbid curiosity dripping in his words. “Did- did it bounce?”
Zuko stopped to think, actually taking the question into consideration as he thought back on that night. And yeah, he’s pretty sure Zhao’s head bounced all the way down the stairs and landed at General Shinu’s feet. The General was as white as a sheet as he stared down at the severed body part with its mouth hung open and eyes wide and unseeing staring back at him. Zuko had thrown up as soon as he reached the safety of the trees and could fumble his mask off fast enough before the burn of bile reached his throat.
He nodded slowly in confirmation. “Down three flights of stairs.”
The warrior was caught between humor and horror as he imagined what exactly that would look like. The little shudder and cringe seemed to shake the thought away as he shared an apologetic smile with the prince. “I appreciate you telling me this though, Li.”
Zuko hid the wince at the false name being spoken with such earnesty. He gave a small nod then sighed with defeat. “I’m not even sure why I mentioned it but I felt that after everything you’ve done for me that I owed you that at least.”
Sokka nodded in understanding, expression softening as he patted the prince on the back. “You don’t owe us anything.” He hummed then added. “But if you’re feeling generous and in the sharing mood, maybe you could tell me your real name?” The cheeky smile on the warrior’s face had Zuko giving him a light hearted shove and allowed a wiggle of a smile to creep on his own face as he rolled his eyes.
“Nice try.”
Sokka chuckled. “I had to try.” He yielded to Zuko’s shove and staggered a little before correcting his balance and straightening up. Their shoulders bumped together companionably as the warrior rumbled out. “I do really appreciate it though, Li. It means a lot.”
Zuko nodded, feeling the tangled mess of guilt that was eating away at him earlier fade away as they packed and sorted his things into the chest. Sokka told him stories of his home and described hunting trips across the ice and the dangers of such a beautiful landscape. He described the aura borealis that stretched across the night sky and how it reflected in the glacier ice. Zuko was enthralled with every word that came from his mouth. His earlier reservations about returning with the Water Tribe to their home felt daunting as he ached for his own home, but now, he couldn’t help but recall Sokka’s joke after his first escape attempt.
This was his chance to see the world outside of the war. To witness a part of it that wasn’t surrounded by burnt fields and orphans begging for scraps and coppers on the streets, or soldiers bunked in civilian housing as they travel through neglected villages and take from struggling settlements in the name of the military.
He could see the Water Tribe as they were, not the shadows of campfire stories depicting vicious heartless savages that steal people and kill without feeling. Of cold predators ambushing soldiers from the trees and faces painted with the blood of their kills. He may have believed some of those crude tales before, had been frightened by them at some point but now, he was at odds and feeling guilty for ever thinking they were true. Sokka has been nothing if not kind and patient with him. Chief Hakoda was considerate and worried even when interrogating him. He extended numerous reminders of caution and reassurance even when Zuko failed to give him anything useful in return. They welcomed him on their hunts, they prayed with him, and he ate meals with them like he was another of their tribesmen.
Bato prepared the furs for him to keep. Sokka got him his own personal belongings even when they weren’t considered necessities for living.
How in Agni’s name was captivity in Water Tribe custody more comfortable and luxurious than his time spent in the Fire Nation military? Sure, he had to deal with Sokka’s dirty socks and a considerable lack in laundry opportunities, hot water was harder to come by and their rations ran heavily on fish when there was no hunting, but Spirits’ sakes, their bedrolls were better than the military's. He got to keep theater scrolls! He has more than two outfits and he isn’t scrutinized for wearing the non-regulation ones outside of his private quarters. He even got cinnamon candy (once Sokka remembered he had purchased it with Zuko in mind) and he was now sucking on the spicy sweet ball in his mouth and relishing the burn.
It felt good to have things that he wanted that weren’t just necessities. Agni’s balls, he couldn't even get emergency supplies approved for his men, let alone luxury items like soap. And Spirits damn it since when is basic hygiene considered a fucking luxury?!
He wanted to just let himself fall into all of this, but a few thoughts floated about with grim reservations. Tiny concerns that tugged at him and made him apprehensive. The longer he dwelled on them, the sooner they were given life leaping from his tongue in the brief pause between Sokka's stories.
"What will happen to me when we reach your village?"
Sokka had paused in tucking the last of the things into Zuko's chest and prepared to heft the container up and set it out of the way beside his own. "Well, you'll see the Elders for starters. They're in charge of managing newcomers to the tribes. They'll talk with you for a while before you're assigned lodgings."
Zuko frowned at this, brows creased with puzzlement as he asked. "Talk about what?" He couldn't imagine going through another stiff and awkward interrogation and dreaded being found lacking before a group of other tribesmen. Would they share Hakoda's careful demeanor?
The worry must have shown on his face as Sokka gave him a firm pat on the back. "Don't worry. It's nothing to stress over. As far as I know, it's just questions about comfort. Whether or not you want to stay in this village or move to another, or if you want to bunk with others from your nation that have joined our tribes over the years. If you have any problems with any tribesmen or worries, those sorts of things."
He situated the chest so it was firmly tucked against the wall adjacent to his own before straightening up. "They'll also ask about your skills so they can assign you a job through the winter and explain the Spring festival and your final decision."
"My final decision?" Zuko echoed, even more confused now.
Sokka nodded, sharing a sad smile with the prince like the topic wasn't exactly one he enjoyed thinking about. "When we take prisoners, we keep them through winter so they can learn about our ways and become an important part of our community. In Spring, the festival marks a pivotal decision they will need to make."
Zuko cocked his head curiously at the small pause Sokka made. His eyes dropped to stare at the furs spread across the cot as he smoothed them over with his palms. He looked nervous, almost which amused Zuko at the thought. Sokka rarely seemed nervous in his presence. "Whether or not they want to leave and return to their homeland, or stay and join the tribe permanently."
Oh, well then, his apprehension made sense to a point. If Sokka was worried Zuko would make the choice to return home then he understood his reservations on the topic. He appeared happy to have the prince around, of course that could change at any point in time. Even the shiniest gems eventually lose their luster to time and he doubted he could sustain the flitting attention of the warrior for long. He'll lose his polished shine and Sokka will grow bored or frustrated and find something else to drown his focus in.
Thinking of it now, Zuko could imagine his decision would be to leave and return home. It came easily if a little awkwardly. Like home was a dream he grasped at in the smoky fog of early morning. He spent so many months thinking of it, begging for it, planning and imagining what it would be like to finally receive those orders to pack up and come back to Caldera that he often found himself waking in the mornings with a painful ache in his chest and unimaginable yearning. It should be second nature for him to agree quickly and without thought, but maybe it might change given time.
Maybe, Sokka will give him a reason to hesitate and think harder on it. He could only wonder and hope, in the way he often found himself traipsing through daydreams about fantastical scenarios similar to those in the plays he adored most. It was just an idea. Nothing he would take seriously. He had a duty to his people after all and this, well, this might as well be a very strange holiday spent learning of other cultures. He could make it work.
"I see." Zuko hummed quietly as he toyed with the thoughts that rattled noisily inside his head. "I guess it makes sense in a way."
"In a way?" Sokka asked, incredulous.
The prince blanched, feeling the weight of the warrior's eyes settling on him in the cramped space of the cabin. It was hard to find a comfortable space to stand away from each other without bumping into other things. "From what I know of the tribes, the South is much smaller than their sister settlements in the North. You would need to extend your reach to outsiders to grow your numbers in a way that is most beneficial in the shortest time without relying on the future generations." The seriousness of Zuko's tone echoed the same stiffness his tutors carried when teaching him about the rest of the world and the complicated maze that was politics. He hated it more than he could express.
Sokka snorted at that and cracked up into a laugh at the prince's expense as he nodded. "Something like that, yeah. But buddy, you can relax. Don't worry about it." He gave Zuko another strong pat on the shoulder in solidarity as he urged him to the bed once more. Zuko let himself flop onto the edge and wilt a little under Sokka's critical eye and crooked smile. "You'll do fine."
Zuko only nodded in understanding.
“What do you have there?” Sokka called as he and Li climbed up the stairs to the deck to catch some fresh air and stretch their legs a bit. Alik and Kela were carrying something in their arms up the gangplank that caught his attention. Li craned his head to peek at it before scowling.
”Is that a pai-sho board?” Li asked.
Alik snorted in amusement. “Yes, yes it is.” He gestured at the box of pai sho tiles in hand along with various other items they had picked up from the port. Their grins spread at Li’s increasing glare. Sokka gave him a little nudge with his elbow and smirked.
“I thought you liked pai sho.”
Li bristled and turned on Sokka with wide eyes. “I never said I did.” Sokka cocked a brow at that. “I said I know how to play it a little.”
He hummed. There was truth in that.
Kela huffed. “Well, you can show this old yak how to play then.” He gestured dismissively at Alik who narrowed slate grey eyes on his counterpart. The older warrior swiped the board from Kela’s arms and moved to find a crate to set it up on. Despite his prickliness at the game, Li trailed after them with sharp eyes as they finally set up the board and settled onto an offered crate to begin playing on the open deck. All else seemed to be forgotten as the three of them started to set up the board. Li was correcting Alik’s placement and judging the use of the tiles he chose regardless of Li’s declarations that he only knew how to play a little.
From where Sokka was standing, he looked like a pai sho pro, especially where the white flower - white lotus - tile was concerned. He had been very specific about what it was called and thumbed it thoughtfully a few times before showing Alik how to play it to its best advantage.
Sokka chuckled and leaned against the deck rail as he watched the trio. His eyes would drift from the board to where Li kept massaging the rough edges of the burn scar, grimacing slightly as his fingers pushed gently and probed around his eye. His hand would fall away when some move or action would catch his attention and pull it towards the game. Several moves later, Li’s hand would absently reach up to massage his scar again or palm over the eye like it was bothering him. The tribesman had noticed it a few times before, how the already squinted eye would look smaller or squeezed shut entirely in the dim lighting of the cabin. The way it would look dewy with unshed tears out of the blue.
The warrior cursed under his breath at the realization that a wound like that might be cold sensitive. If the cool sea breeze coming off the water was causing Li discomfort or pain, then he couldn’t imagine what a long southern winter would do to him. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth in thought before deciding to act on it. They still had some time in port and Sokka had some money leftover from this trip to use on his charge. Straightening up from where he had been reclined comfortably, he called over to the trio.
“I’ll be back in a little bit.” Li perked up, looking conflicted at the game then back at Sokka. He started to rise when Sokka called. “Li.” He jolted upright and stilled. “Stay here. Alik’s in charge. Don’t be too hard on these two while I’m gone. Behave.” Li frowned at the older warrior who barked out a laugh at Kela’s indignant noise. They waved Sokka off as Li slowly sank back onto his crate and fixed his attention back on the board with a blurt of outrage when Kela made an illegal move with the tiles.
Sokka strolled down the gangplank and began his search, popping by a few local stalls to ask for directions until he was led to the right place.
Zuko had excused himself from the gathering by the time several other tribesmen joined to watch the game. They had cycled through three matches when he slipped away to head back to Sokka’s cabin feeling the tightness in the left side of his face as the cold air bit at his skin and left it throbbing in dull pulses of pain. His eye was squeezed shut as the ache spread along the side of his face and made his left ear sting. Sokka still wasn’t back yet from his errand, leaving the prince to his own devices until then. He fretted and tried to ignore the pain but even while tucked away in the warmer cabin, the bitter cold had already set in and left its chill clawing at his skull.
He paced a little with indecision before sliding back out into the corridor. Hakoda’s words still rang softly in the back of his mind with continued promises to help if he needed anything at all. This felt entirely too tedious to request but Zuko couldn’t relax and if he waited any longer, the pain would be much harder to chase away and he couldn’t afford the lost sleep or distraction.
His fist hovered over the door, knuckles whitened by indecision before he forced them to rap softly against the wood on the first hit, then much firmer on the second. It was too late to back out now as he waited for the Chief’s weary summons to enter in his native tongue.
Zuko opened the door and hesitantly stepped inside, freezing when he noticed Hakoda wasn’t alone. Bato was sitting on the corner of the desk much more comfortably and far closer than a second in command really should with their leader. Bato’s knee was touching Hakoda’s arm where the men had been discussing something in lowered voices. The Chief looked startled to see him standing there and straightened up, casting aside his shock with a warmer greeting that bordered on care and concern as he slipped easily into Fire Nation formal.
“Li, come in.” He waved the prince in and gestured towards the open seat across from him that Bato clearly had no notion of filling. Or any intention of climbing off of Hakoda’s desk. He folded his arms over his chest and twisted to observe the prince as he shuffled uncomfortably closer.
“Am I interrupting something, sir?” He asked, genuinely remorseful that he may have intruded on something private between the two. Bato’s lips twitched with the subtlest curve of a smile at the question before Hakoda’s elbow dug into the man’s thigh and urged him to shift away a little to escape the needling gesture.
“No, not at all.” Hakoda assured, voice tight with the remnants of something more that hinted to the contrary. “How can I help you?”
“I uh, I could come back really.” Zuko shifted in place before the desk. “Or just ask someone else-”
“Li.” Bato’s voice rolled sharply but the tone was fond, softened by a breathy laugh at his flustered expression. “Just spit it out already.”
Zuko ignored how the sound made him tense before he forced himself to relax and shove the words out in the open that he’d been tossing around in his head. He didn’t pay much attention to the way his body resumed its rigid military posture or how his voice slipped back into that droning default of a soldier at attention. It felt safer when things felt like they were getting too personal and he wore it like the armor and rank forced upon him by expectations. It was a mask he could hide behind, almost as well as the one he chose himself.
“I was wondering if I may request assistance in getting some fresh hot water?” He paused, letting the rigid stance relax a little with the edge of uncertainty. “Normally Sokka gets it but I don’t really know where and he went to run an errand into town.”
Bato chuckled. “Finally making some tea?” He asked.
Zuko gave a small shake of the head and palmed at the scarred side of his face automatically before he froze and forced his hand to lower. “No, I um, use it to help with-” He made an aborted gesture for his scar then lowered his hand quickly and tensed. “The cold isn’t good for it- I could just wait for Sokka to come back now that I think about it-” His voice lowered and started to speed up in an uncomfortable ramble.
“Li.” Hakoda called, drawing his attention back to the Chief who watched him with worry bright in his eyes. A cautious compassion like he was trying to be careful with how he reached out to Zuko, the way Uncle Iroh always did when he was young and afraid or anxious about something. He would handle him so carefully and help him slow his racing heart and chase away the dread that ran tight in his chest until he could calm and face the problems before him with a clear head and steady feet. “You don’t need to worry or apologize for asking about something like this.”
Bato rose from his spot on the edge of the Chief’s desk and smiled reassuringly. “Come on. I’ll help you find what you need, alright?”
Zuko nodded jerkily and cast a glance towards the Chief with a small appreciative bow. “Thank you sir.” He turned quickly and headed for the door that the second was holding wide open for him.
Once out in the passageway, Bato strolled by his side, keeping pace with Zuko’s steps even when he tried to fall back and allow the man ahead of him. He resigned himself to it after a moment, when the tribesman started to speak. “We do have a healer on board but I estimate he’s probably out in town right now. If you need anything at all, don’t ever hesitate to ask for it, Li. Especially when it comes to injuries.”
Zuko gave a short nod. He waited a beat then spoke. “It just feels stupid sometimes.” He admitted. “Normally I don’t need to ask for these things and half the time we just make due with a lack of luxuries. I know fresh water isn’t abundant in these conditions, especially hot water but- it’s just-” He sighed. “I’m not trying to make an excuse out of it either.”
He flinched when a hand settled on his shoulder. It came on his blind side, causing Bato to pause in his steps and shoot an apologetic look his way but he didn’t withdraw it. It lingered a moment as he waited for Zuko to meet his eyes. He looked stern and put off by this. Zuko tensed again under the hand that gripped his shoulder. “Li, don’t.” Bato started carefully. His words weren’t angry, just determined to be heard and understood. “Don’t do that to yourself. If you need medical treatment, even if it's something as simple as hot water, don’t be afraid to ask. It may not be easy to come by, but letting one of our own suffer when we could do something to help is no excuse either.”
‘One of our own.’ Zuko didn’t miss those words as they slipped so easily out of Bato’s mouth. Perhaps it was accidental but the man made no move or sign to correct it or show he had let it slip. After a heartbeat, the prince realized Bato was waiting for a response from him so he nodded hastily in understanding. His hand lingered a moment longer before it fell away and they resumed their hunt for hot water and a clean cloth. Zuko felt strange trailing behind the older tribesman like this, but not quite in a bad way. They just all sort of accepted him like he was another part of the crew, and Sokka wasn’t stalking about ensuring they treated him well. They did it of their own choosing and that had Zuko walking on unsteady ground all over again.
When he parted with Bato with the hot water he needed in a small basin and a fresh soft cloth, he found himself sagging against the cot feeling lost. He fumbled through the process of soaking the rag and carefully wringing the hot water out of the folded fabric before lying it over his eyes and laying back on the bed. The heat spread over his cold skin and started to attack the tight ache in his face as his mind ran circles around the conflicted storm of feelings that warred inside of him now.
Notes:
So there was a lot happening in this chapter. Whoooo!
Thank you all again so much for the wonderful support and comments so far. I'm having a blast with this fic and hey, we're almost to the South Pole woot woot!
Chapter 10
Summary:
Hakoda gets bad news and Zukka shenanigans ensue.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was late by the time Sokka returned to the ship with a bundle of tins and vials wrapped up carefully inside a canvas sack with a long scroll of instructions written out for each. It might have been easier and far faster if he had taken Li along with him but Sokka felt it might not have been a pleasant trip if the man wasn't feeling the greatest then to have unwanted attention on top of it all. He just hoped he wasn't overstepping any boundaries by doing this.
He glanced down at the canvas sack with conflict before he shoved it down and descended the steps below deck and headed for his cabin. He caught the familiar tall shadow of Bato stepping out of his father's cabin as he approached. The older man lingered by the door as Sokka closed the gap, noting the way he watched him like he had something he wanted to say. The tribesman slowed outside of his own door and cocked a brow in the low light of the passageway.
"What's up?" Sokka asked, brow creased with concern. The sudden nagging doubt in his mind began to supply him with all these thoughts and ideas of things that could have gone wrong in his absence. Bato's quiet sigh and the small quirk of a smile soothed those noisy worries and reassured him that everything was fine.
"Where did you run off to?" He asked, voice lowered the extra level to avoid waking anyone who had turned in early for the night.
Sokka balanced the sack in his arms, well aware of Bato's curious glances digging into the bundle, eagerly awaiting an explanation for it all. "I went looking for medicine for Li. For his scar. I noticed it's been bothering him as the weather gets colder."
Bato hummed in that knowing way that made Sokka a bit nervous. "Did he say something to you or Dad about it?" He had to ask, realizing that the older man had that look that often declared that Katara had tattled on him in their youth.
He folded his arms over his chest casually and shifted in the passage so he wasn't completely blocking dad's door anymore. He took a moment to consider his words before explaining. "He came to Hakoda while you were gone and asked for hot water."
"Ah, I see." Sokka sighed, feeling a little guilty now. Li was his responsibility and Sokka knows he can't be there all the time to check on him and help him out, but he couldn't ignore the tight feeling in his chest when he fails to help or it feels like he isn't doing enough like he should be able to. Logic clearly dictated otherwise but Sokka had a way of placing unrealistic expectations on himself.
"It's good to see him reaching out to more people and spending time with others in the tribe." Bato hummed pleasantly, giving Sokka's shoulder a pat. "Alik told me he was teaching them how to play pai sho."
Sokka snorted. "Yeah, it looks like he took it pretty seriously." He adjusted the bundle in his arms, thinking about the things Li had told him and the evasive way he could be at times. "He's uh, does he seem like he's doing better, to you at least?"
He tilted his head to catch the thoughtful look in the older man's eyes as the lanterns in the passageway trembled with the gentle sway of the waves. The light danced inside the clear vessels and stretched playful shadows down the hall.
"He seems like..." Bato tested the words carefully, searching for the right thing to say that could sum up his thoughts on the subject into a neat package. Sokka felt like that was a challenge in and of itself when it came to Li. He was many things but a neat easy to classify package wasn't one of them. "He's reluctant or evasive, like he's afraid of something."
Sokka made a noise in agreement. That was an understatement when it came to Li. He was jumpy and wary in a way that went beyond just regular nerves about his current predicament. His mind kept jumping back to the image of the soldier's body riddled in scars. The way he would shut down around certain topics and just avoid everyone. Sokka dreaded what the story was that led to that kind of behavior, what had happened to Li to make him so afraid of the rest of the world.
"But I believe you've helped him start to trust again. He seems comfortable, more relaxed around you, Sokka." Bato gave his shoulder a firm squeeze. "I think whatever it is that's troubling him might be more than we could ever understand but I believe he will find a safe place among the tribe where he can finally let it go."
Sokka nodded in silent agreement, a spark of hope burning bright inside his chest as he turned towards his cabin door. "Thanks Bato."
The older man grunted as Sokka drew out of his reach to push the door open, peering curiously inside to check on the status of his charge. Both men stood in the threshold, amused at the quaint sight of the soldier bundled up in Sokka's furs. The wet rag he had been using had dried and slipped part way off his face to heap against his jaw where it was pinned between chin and shoulder. His eyes were closed, face relaxed in the restful throes of sleep. Li looked small and so much younger than he was with the scarred part of his face hidden from view and the slackened expression softened by plentiful dreams.
Bato's hand gave Sokka's shoulder another silent pat, lingering a moment with a shadow of pride nestled in the subtle weight before drawing away and heading down the passage. Sokka slipped inside and quietly shut the door behind himself, taking care not to wake his charge while he deposited the canvas sack on the desk without rattling the containers painstakingly wrapped inside.
They stayed a day longer than they initially thought they would, causing a slight adjustment in their plans when a storm rocked the coast with massive gales that had them bumping the docks dangerously. A stubborn merchant ship had left earlier that morning and limped back to the port a few crew short and a torn sail to boot. A rescue had been mounted for the missing men once the waves settled some but they’d been lost to La’s embrace.
The rain remained through the afternoon and cleared up by evening. A messenger bird flew in with news from one of their sister ships that had taken to Kyoshi on their way back to the South. Bato brought the message to his cabin while Sokka was helping calculate the adjustments and factor in the current weather conditions on top of it all. The chief managed to snag his son away from his charge who was apparently sleeping off the dull ache caused by the storm and the encroaching cold front that barraged them.
“The medicine I bought yesterday seems to be helping.” Sokka had cheerfully reported, the shadow of doubt and worry that hung from his shoulders like a stubborn hog monkey had melted away, replaced by a hopeful optimism when Li’s condition changed for the better. The soldier had been pricklier than usual, bumping into the walls and corners that he normally didn’t have a problem navigating. After he took a spill trying to climb the steps up to deck, Sokka had ushered him back to their shared cabin to check him over and sit the man down for a stern talk about taking care of himself.
Hakoda hadn’t seen him since but spotted Sokka creeping out of his cabin sheepishly as the chief was coming back from the deck where he’d been collecting news in town. Mostly portside gossip involving the weather and the foolish Earth Kingdom ship that took a risk that wasn’t worth it in the end. He had sent a prayer to La for the lost men during a private moment on the bow.
They had set aside the maps and notes scrawled across his desk as Bato handed the scroll over. He unfurled it carefully and read over the familiar yet urgent script in the Earth Kingdom characters. His brows pinched together, concern turning to confusion before it was sharpened with a cold dread.
“What is it, dad?” Sokka asked softly, at the same time as Bato spoke up with similar concern.
“Koda?”
He finished the scroll and set it aside, dropping his weight back into his chair as he massaged his temples. “We’re being hunted by a Fire Nation ship.”
“What?” Bato reached for the scroll to give it a quick read as Hakoda sighed and continued.
“Chinuk’s ship docked at Kyoshi island to ride out a storm and were followed by a Fire navy ship that approached them. A high ranking Fire Nation officer judging by his description, is looking for a Fire Nation soldier with a burn scar on the left half of his face.” Bato had passed the scroll to Sokka now, who was reading it with a similar haste as the older tribesman had, jaw slackened with alarm. “They’re aware that he’s being held in the custody of a Water Tribe ship, they just aren’t aware of which one.”
It didn’t make sense to Hakoda for the navy to go to these lengths for one soldier, even if he was a scout. Surely there was no amount of information he was carrying that would warrant a search and rescue like this. Unless Li knew something important that he had locked up tighter than a tiger seal’s jaws. It would make sense as to why he’s so jumpy when it comes to seemingly harmless questions.
“Shit!” Sokka hissed, cradling the side of his head while he clutched the scroll in his free hand before letting it fall to the desk unceremoniously. Both hands dug into his hair as he smoothed it back and then gave it a strained yank as he cursed. “Shit, shit, shit!”
“It’s fine.” Bato tried to console Sokka. “This isn’t the first time we’ve had to evade the Fire navy.” But those words didn’t calm Sokka in the slightest. He just looked pale now as he leaned over the desk and shook his head fervently.
“No, no, no. You don’t understand. This is really bad.” He cursed in their native tongue, voice rising a little before he quelled it. Hakoda had a bad feeling that Sokka knew something they didn’t.
Leaning forward in his seat, the frame groaned under his shifting weight as he spoke firmly. “Sokka, what’s wrong?”
Sokka stared at Chinuk’s writing, jaw clenched tight, muscle jerking under the strain as his whole body went taut and still. His blue eyes were searching the scroll as if it had the answers he was hesitant to give as the two men watched quietly, waiting for him to collect himself enough to speak. His son took a deep breath and started to explain.
“Li told me this in confidence. I didn’t want to betray his trust and I’m not sure if he wanted me to share this with anyone else but now-” He gave an aborted gesture towards the message and hissed under his breath, disgust and anger rising before it snapped back to a sudden almost calm. Eyes sharpened to focus, he continued, lowering his voice. “Li killed a very important Fire Nation Admiral in self-defense. That- that’s why he was reassigned to the mountain pass and probably also why he maintains a fake name. I think he was hiding from whoever is hunting for him now.”
That made a lot more sense to Hakoda than a singular ship being sent to rescue a sole surviving scout. This just might be personal between Li and whatever officer is commanding that ship. The fact they didn’t attack Chinuk’s crew but just questioned them would lean more towards the lack of actual authority in their efforts. The navy probably wasn’t backing any of this up and this officer was going rogue to get even.
Bato and Hakoda were both speechless. There wasn’t really anything they could find to say about it. This was a very peculiar set of circumstances they had found themselves in. The quiet hung between them for a minute before Bato cleared his throat to break the stalemate. “So, nothing really changes. We continue to evade them until we get back home. The ice will stop their ship and they wouldn’t risk getting locked in like that for some petty revenge.”
“Assuming it’s just petty revenge they want.” Hakoda sighed. His mind wandered to what Sokka had said. “Self-defense?” Sokka nodded stiffly.
“Strange that he’ll tell you about that but he won’t divulge his name.” Bato raised a brow at Sokka, expecting him to spill that the soldier may have told his name but he was keeping it to himself out of a promise. Sokka just shrugged.
“I tried.” His voice sounded a little hollow. “He was really upset about the Admiral thing. I don’t- I think it had been unexpected. Like he didn’t want to do it.”
Hakoda was hesitant to ask but curiosity had his attention and he couldn’t shake it. “Why did he? What were the…. circumstances ? Did he say?”
“The Admiral ordered a group called the Yuyan Archers after Li. He said they had orders to kill or capture. He just did what he had to, to survive.” Sokka grimaced at the thought like he was recalling some gruesome details that may have been shared in the privacy between them. Hakoda frowned and turned to Bato, who shared a similar contemplative look in his eyes.
“This isn’t doing any favors to convince me he wasn’t a Fire Nation assassin at some point.”
“More like a spy from the sounds of it.” Hakoda corrected, then shook the thought away. “Either way, he’s ours now and we’re not letting some red winged bastard take him.”
Sokka relaxed a little at the declaration, his lips twitching with the slightest curve of an almost smile. He was relieved and that eased Hakoda’s worries a bit.
“Did Li tell you anything else?”
Sokka paused to think before adding. “He made some very powerful enemies in the Fire Nation.”
“Spirits!” Bato barked out a laugh, it was sharp and loud and startled them both. “Sokka, how did you manage to find the one man that’s apparently the Fire Nation’s most wanted?” Sokka shrugged, letting out a little laugh of his own with a crack of a smile.
“Maybe he insulted their stupid tea or critiqued too many pai sho games.” His son joked. Hakoda let his own smile break just a little, though the weight of this new worry was still heavy on his shoulders. What could awkward prickly Li have done to warrant this much attention? All jokes aside, the thought of him being a spy was starting to make more sense than their earlier theories. He was honest and sharp, quick to blend in and disappear, acrobatic and swift in combat. Perhaps the scars he sustained had been some form of spirits forsaken messed up training the military forced their scouts through to ensure they don’t break under enemy interrogation. If they had taken the Earth Kingdom route and pressed him under threat of harm, how far would Li have held out before he finally shattered? Would they have known even a fraction of what they do now when treating him kindly and respectfully?
The soldier rescued Katla without thinking twice about allegiances or risk, he just acted. He kept his promises with a ruthless determination and, Sokka was right, he would bristle and turn snappish when anyone implied he might not. He was considerate enough to worry that asking for fresh water for medical use would be seen as a waste when it was in short supply on their ship, and that’s without the very obvious fact they’re in port currently and could restock their supply with ease. Spirits, he even forgave Hakoda for his fumble by challenging him to an eating competition to settle things. The tribesman had severely upset the soldier, to the point that Sokka was furious at him for it for days, and he settled the score with a spicy dish that made Hakoda cry.
How in Spirit’s name did this man get on the bad side of not just one, but several high ranking Fire Nation officials to the point that one is hunting him across the sea?
One thing was for certain, Li was theirs now and they weren’t going to let the Fire Nation take him back. Not without a fight, and Hakoda hated the idea of Li turning back to whatever messed up treatment they were going to put the man through. He deserved to be happy, to be somewhere where he could live without fear. He deserved a supportive community and a place without the expectations of war. Sure, it was cold and dark most of the year but some comforts were given up for overall security. He just hoped that Li would decide to stay when Spring comes.
They were just shoving off of port when the next message came, bearing similar bad news. General How sent word of the Earth Kingdom's displeasure with the Water Tribe and how things had been handled during the battle in the Mountain Pass. Funny how they described it as some big battle when it was nothing more than a small skirmish on a retreating force already poorly cobbled together with ragtag units.
"They're blaming us for the Fire Prince's death?" Bato blurted in anger as he loomed over the edge of Hakoda's desk. The chief nodded with a tired frustration racing in his veins. "How?"
"The Fire Nation announced that Prince Zuko had died in the midst of battle fighting alongside his men in the mountain pass. The official report states that the Water Tribe had a hand in ending his life." Hakoda scoffed at that. Sokka was seated across from his dad's desk and reclined back in the chair with his arms crossed.
"We all know that's Buffalo Yak shit. I'm pretty sure I'd remember someone that shiny wandering around the forest." He waved dismissively. "We checked, dad. There was no prince. They were all foot soldiers. General How's men were the ones that made it to the heart of the encampment and they said the Prince had already made a retreat."
Bato nodded along in agreement. "They're using us as a scapegoat and refuse to take responsibility for the fact they screwed up."
Hakoda smoothed his hands over his desk and ignored the growing urge to massage his temples and groaned. "I've never been so eager to go home and see a long winter in my life."
Sokka snorted. "Yeah. I think we're all feeling the same." Bato grunted in agreement and settled down on the edge of the chief's desk. His hand came to rest on Hakoda's shoulder, giving it a companionable squeeze and smoothed his fingers over the wrinkled edges of his parka. The chief relaxed into his friend's touch and smiled warmly at the comfort. Their fingers overlapped briefly before Hakoda let his hand fall away to focus on the message.
The thought occurred to him that they could always ask Li about the specifics but decided it was best to leave the man alone. He's had a rough few weeks and the chief was finally finding common ground between them where they could comfortably have a conversation without the soldier locking up or looking for the nearest exit to escape. He really didn't want to ruin the trust they built together, especially when Li finally found the courage to seek Hakoda out to ask for things without Sokka trailing after him. It felt like a tiny victory with a big step in the right direction.
Zuko couldn't find his pillow, which resulted in him pawing blindly against the furs and bundles of blankets that were draped haphazardly around him in tangled layers until he was forced to give up. His head was fuzzy and swimming making his whole body feel light and airy. Every movement sent ripples through his limbs like he was expecting to float away if he moved too quickly or too forcefully. His eyes widened when he realized just how clear and bright his vision was in his right eye as he forced the left to shut, sliding a finger over his lid to ensure it was pinched closed. His hands were an uncoordinated and graceless mess that fumbled about with the dainty air that accompanied whatever medicine Sokka had given him earlier that morning.
He was remorseful for being adamant against it at first, mumbling expletives as the tribesman had encouraged him to at least give it a try. Now he felt like he was flying as he buried his face into a fur that smelled like Sokka and let the warmth of fluttery giggles escape his throat. He wiggled across the cot and sank back into the bedding with a grin, smoothing his palms over the furs as he relished their softness and imagined what it would be like to pet the living thing these came from. How big would it have been? Would it have been friendly? Could he have ridden it?
His mind explored those many questions as he imagined riding other animals the way he rode the Gemsbok Bull. It was thrilling and exciting and had him kicking his feet with a giddy rise before flopping back over so his face was buried into the bedding and all he could see was darkness and all he could smell was the faint scent of Sokka and warm fur.
Zuko didn’t realize when he had dozed off but his head lifted sluggishly at the sound of Sokka’s footsteps entering the cabin and clicking the door behind himself. He paused as the prince rolled partially to the side and gave him the most put off pout he could muster at the moment. Sokka raised a brow in question as Zuko snaked a hand out from under the scattered mess of blankets and grasped silently at him. The warrior stepped closer to the bed with a look of confusion and worry before the prince’s fingers curled around Sokka’s wrist and tugged him into bed with him.
A startled noise was punched out of his chest as he flopped hard against the side of the cot and rattled it against the wall. Kicking his boots off and shucking the parka away quickly, Sokka wiggled into the pile of furs, smoothing it out over them both as they huddled into the cramped space of the cot.
“You alright?” Sokka asked after a moment as Zuko nuzzled against his side and adjusted the warrior’s arm so it was wrapped around his shoulders to better fit them together. His disappointed look was aimed at the larger man as he huffed pathetically.
“I lost my pillow.” Then twisted his lips into a satisfied smirk as he rested his head against the warriors broad shoulder and made a triumphant noise. “But now I found a replacement.”
Sokka was warm and comfortable, even if his skin was a little cold in places where he’d been exposed to the wind and sea above deck. Zuko didn’t mind. It felt nice and he smelled like sea salt and wood with a light touch of sweat and the warmth of the sun beating down on his hair that made the very faint aroma of some soap or oil come about. It smelled cozy to Zuko as he settled against the warrior and fit himself perfectly in his arms. He was larger than the prince, from the shape of his hands to the width of his shoulders, the height of his stature and even the size of his biceps as they were draped around Zuko’s torso to keep him close in the small space. Normally Zuko would huff and spout about how unfair it was but Sokka was big and warm and easier to cuddle like an armadillo bear.
The warrior cocked his head, letting a smile rise to his lips as he tried to catch the prince’s attention. “You’re high.” Zuko giggled softly and squirmed to press his face firmly into the crook of Sokka’s shoulder and neck.
“You’re my new pillow.” He hummed and rolled just enough to lay with his stomach pressed against Sokka’s hip so he had one free hand able to wriggle out of the furs to poke the red tinged tip of the tribesman’s nose. Sokka smirked, eyes alight with amusement as Zuko repeated it with intense concentration so he didn’t miss the small tip and would smirk and giggle more to himself at every success. After a moment, Sokka lifted his hand to return the boop gesture, causing Zuko to go still and wide eyed before sticking his tongue out to try and catch the wayward digit. It resulted in Sokka poking at the corner of his mouth until the prince caught his index finger between his teeth giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it go completely when Sokka drew away.
Zuko’s mind wandered through the heavy fog of his thoughts as scattered ideas cluttered his mind the more he tried to rein one in long enough to give it attention before it flew away like a glowfly in the night.
Sokka may have made a miscalculation in the medication he gave Li, either that or the healer in town knew how to pack a punch in every dose because he was certain his charge was high as a sky bison right now. Li was giggly and childish in the best way possible that had Sokka’s face aching with how hard he was smiling. The soldier was cuddly and affectionate and so emotionally vulnerable that Sokka felt a touch guilty about it but the man looked so genuinely happy right now that it didn’t really stick for long in his mind.
Li was all over the place, rambling with slurred speech about random topics or going still and quiet with impressive bouts of single minded concentration on extremely tedious things like poking Sokka’s nose with the very tip of his finger before devolving into a fit of laughter that was unusual coming from a grown man. He really couldn’t feel remorseful about this when Li looked so relaxed and carefree. Though, he thought the man might actually sleep, not flail about in fits of delighted curiosity as he palmed the furs with little sounds of pleasure that were making Sokka’s face heat up with a barely audible groan because this was sort of embarrassing to listen to, especially when he couldn’t act on any of these affectionate gestures.
It didn’t help either that the weight of those letters was hanging on the edge of his thoughts and he couldn’t shake them even now as he watched the soldier squirm and wiggle in the cot between himself and the wall as he threw his hands up in animated excited gestures as he talked about the fluffiness of llamas and the unfairness of how soft their coats were or the size of a lop-eared rabbit’s velvety soft ears in comparison to their body size.
He didn’t peg Li for being the animal lover type but Sokka was definitely amused to find it out as the man looked on the verge of tears with his excited rambling and very detailed explanation that was both comical and very clinical sounding simultaneously and Sokka was seriously impressed that he managed both while still being coherent.
The discussion of animal rankings and their softness was interrupted by bouts of Li feverishly petting the furs as if to prove his point with their own softness when his eyes turned towards Sokka with a spark of delighted understanding.
“You’re royalty aren’t you?”
Sokka’s thoughts seemed to derail at that sudden question, causing a jolt of surprise. “What?”
“You’re the son of the chief.” Li poked the tip of his nose with a determined concentration not to miss and hopefully avoid hitting Sokka in the eye. “That’s like being a prince in your culture, right?”
“I….guess?” Sokka hadn’t really thought of it that way. The Northern tribes treated their ranking more like royalty but the South didn’t follow those ideals. It added too much status to the mix of their community and it didn’t sit right with Hakoda or the rest of his family. Sokka couldn’t imagine being worshipped and revered like some idol on a pedestal. It felt cold and disconnected to him.
“Do you have special etiquette for meeting royalty in your culture?” Li finally managed to ask after a few fumbled starts to get his words working properly on his tongue. He frowned at himself as if his lips had failed him regardless.
“Uh….” Sokka snorted. “Um, I don’t really think so. We just treat everyone the same.”
Li frowned harder and held his finger up in pause as he scrambled to sit upright. “We have so much etiquette in the Fire Nation.” He screwed his face up into a look of immense disgust as he crawled over top of Sokka and narrowly avoided kneeing him in the snowballs or falling off the cot himself. His hand shot out to steady Li but the soldier looked unbothered by the stumble as he straightened up and stood before the cot as if he were demonstrating in front of a massive audience. His voice seemed to get louder alongside it with a sudden lack of volume control to accompany the loss of a filter.
“There is too much Agni damned formality.” Li started, taking a stance as he displayed a full bow, bending at the midsection. “Like when greeting royalty.” He gestured at the bow and started to ramble off the finer points of posture, footing and stance, the depth of the bow and how it varies from subtle gestures between royals, how royals address the Fire Lord, and how servants are to address the royals. Even how it differs when addressing royals from other countries. This didn’t include, as Li pointed out, how one is to address royals in the military and the situations when you’re supposed to bow to their rank in the service or their rank as a monarch.
Sokka watched him show bow after bow, and even watched him drop suddenly to kneel and explain the kneeling postures and even the prostration and when such a display would be necessary which made Sokka feel uneasy at the easy way Li melted into such a position like he’s had plenty of practice. The coldness that seeped into his voice as he explained, almost sobering momentarily before he shoved himself back to sit on his butt on the floor with his arm braced against the edge of the cot.
“This is all very interesting to learn about. You seem to know a lot about Fire Nation politics and court etiquette, Li.” He spoke carefully as the soldier looked at him sadly as if he were disappointed by something. The soldier reached out to capture Sokka’s hand in his until their palms were flat together. His brows raised in question, worry knitting them together as Li fixed his attention on Sokka’s hand, his other hand tracing the warrior’s knuckles regretfully.
“You don’t call me by my real name.” He sighed, exasperated. “My real name is better. I like my real name.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know your real name, Li.” Sokka explained, voice growing soft and cautious. He was hopeful he could tease the information out of the soldier, but another part of him worried that it might be crossing the line a little too far, a break of the tenuous trust they’ve created between them so far.
Li scowled at that, then looked even unhappier as he grumbled bitterly. “Because it’s a secret. I can’t tell you or else there will be danger. I wish I could tell you. I bet it would sound nicer when you say it and it wouldn’t be Li. ” He said his own name mockingly, a grimace spread on his face as he lowered his head to rest against the edge of the cot. He looked tired and unsteady, like the medicine was finally hitting the drowsy portions of its job. His eyes were beginning to droop as Sokka took the soldier by his wrist and urged him back up on the cot.
It was a clumsy scramble to get the man tucked back under the warmth of the furs before he buried his face back into the crook of Sokka’s shoulder. His ribbons were gone leaving his hair free to scatter around his face however it pleased. His body sagged against Sokka’s as the medication set in, leaving the steady rhythmic sound of his breathing and the relaxed curve of his face where the warrior could glimpse it from this angle. He smoothed his fingers through Li’s hair, drawing it up enough to admire the unscarred side of his face as he tucked the furs around the soldier.
His thoughts still nagged at him, dragged back to the suspicions his father and Bato had cultivated in his mind now of insider Fire Nation espionage. Li was intimately aware of court and royal protocols for etiquette and seemed to know it well enough to despise it and complain rather vividly about its complexities even if his drugged body struggled to form the proper positions to the accuracy his mind depicted but it was still there. Add on top of it the fact that no matter how out of it the soldier was, he was still aware enough to keep secrets to himself and know to filter that very thin line from slipping to potential enemies even while under the influence.
His father’s concerns of secret fucked up Fire Nation torture training were starting to sound more plausible than Sokka could stomach imagining and he hated every minute he was stuck thinking about what could have happened to Li to make him this way. For a man like the soldier to be so desperate for affection and attention, to plead for a connection to another person and still have mind enough to know for whatever spirit’s forsaken reason, that he isn’t allowed to ask for it. Because it's dangerous if he does and what in La’s name sort of life is that worth living?
Sokka felt renewed anger for the soldier that slept so soundly against his side, who trusted him with so much and yet so little at the same time that it pained him every waking moment. He could see the way Li yearned to get close, to cross that gap and ask for more, but he retreated when things got too good, when he found himself enjoying it too much and forced himself to step back and stop. It hurt and Sokka hated it. He wanted to see the man happy, not constantly holding back and looking over his shoulder for something that couldn’t reach him here. He was safe here, with Sokka and the rest of the tribe. He just hoped to Tui and La that Li would see it someday too.
Notes:
Next chapter we finally reach the South Pole!! Woot woot!
This fic got more pining going on than the Jet's forest honestly. We're heading into the meat and potatos of the plot.
There will be more Lu Ten I promise so keep an eye out.
Originally when I first started this fic, I intended to summarize the entire ship travel from the Earth Kingdom to the South Pole in Sokka's pov to last 1, maybe 2 chapters at most. But things changed and I'm honestly glad I decided to scrap that plan because it turned out pretty good so far. ^.^ I'm glad these boys seized the wheel and took control early on.
Thank you again so much for the wonderful feedback and comments of support!! This is a lot of fun and I love seeing all of your guys thoughts about everything along the way. ^.^
Chapter 11
Summary:
They finally reach the South Pole!!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Zuko groaned, burying his face into his palms as the next day greeted him with the heavy foreboding that he did something incredibly stupid and he can't really remember. Somehow the pillow from the cot ended up underneath it and Zuko was crammed against the wall with Sokka's arm held firmly against his chest as he used the warrior's bicep as a replacement. The goofy amused smile on Sokka's face as he woke up only furthered that unsettling knowledge that he definitely did something very stupid.
He wasn't sure he really wanted to know, but as they sat together and ate breakfast the idea of not knowing was killing him. Finally, he forced the words out into the open and waited with sinking dread for Sokka's explanation. "What happened yesterday?"
Sokka tilted his head in question, giving the prince a thoughtful look as he considered him. "What do you mean?"
Zuko huffed indignantly. "I'm missing time. I remember taking the medicine you brought and trying to sleep and that's it. But I get the distinct feeling something else happened that I don't remember."
Sokka chuckled, a reassuring smile shot his way. "Not much else. You were pretty out of it. Talked my ear off about the differences in bowing in your culture, explained the various textures of different animal furs and declared me to be your replacement pillow because you lost yours then fell asleep."
The prince groaned at that, letting his head sink as he wilted at the thought of how embarrassing that all sounds. He can't even remember any of it, except maybe using Sokka as a pillow. In either state of lucidity, Sokka did make a very comfortable substitute and that was fact. He had the additional padding that made it nice, which Zuko had realized early on.
Setting his finished bowl aside, the prince gestured at the scroll on Sokka's desk. "Let me see those instructions the healer gave you." The tribesman raised a curious brow at that but still reached for the parchment and handed it off to Zuko's awaiting hand.
"It's written in Earth Kingdom, you know that right?"
"So are those scrolls we bought the other day. I can read the Earth Kingdom alphabet, Sokka." He said matter-of-fact as he laid the scroll across his lap and frowned. These instructions had alarmingly higher doses than Zuko expected and waved Sokka to hand him a few of the tins and vials to examine the contents of each medicine.
"Agni's balls!" Zuko hissed, scowling his disapproval at the scroll now.
"What?" Sokka blurted with alarm as Zuko groaned and cradled his forehead in his hand with disbelief.
"Did you tell the healer an estimated size of the person you were getting this for?" Zuko asked, tilting his head to look the warrior over. The stricken expression was answer enough as he pointed at the measurements on the page.
"They never asked…." Sokka admitted and turned to address what the prince was explaining.
"These would be normal for someone your size." He poked Sokka in the chest to punctuate his point when the tribesman took a seat beside him on the cot and leaned over to read along. "But I am clearly not your size. These will have to be cut in half at least for future use." He was already starting to make the proper measurement conversions in his head as he rose to find the tribesman's writing set.
Sokka gaped. "They teach medical training in your military?"
Zuko hummed as he plucked the brush from its place and dug out the ink stone to begin filling in the corrections. "Basic first aid, but my cousin taught me more advanced training for battlefield survival." He gestured absently at the scroll with his free hand as he examined each medication and dosage before making the corrections as accurately as he could. They could always test it later and play with the measurements to see what works. He had a finicky system so it was always hard even with accurate prescriptions depending on the medicine.
"This, however, I learned from experience. I was really sick as a kid. My family didn't think I'd survive past my twelfth year. The healers were always there it seemed, and I didn't have much to occupy the time spent bedridden so I asked questions and they would humor me." Satisfied with the changes, Zuko straightened up and cleaned the brush while he waited for the ink to dry. "Body size to dosage ratio matters, and depending on the drug, could kill a person if improperly measured."
Sokka looked mortified now as he stared down at the scroll and the new corrections. "Spirits! I- Li I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"It's fine." Zuko sighed, waving a dismissive hand. "Nothing bad happened and you learned from it. You're not at fault because the healer you went to was an idiot that didn't think to ask."
“Still- I….if anything happened to you and- spirits we were already shoved off!” Zuko could see all the horrible outcomes Sokka was imagining racing across his face as he grew pale and wide eyed. He placed a reassuring hand on the warrior’s arm to calm him and draw his attention. His voice was firm, carrying the edge of a commander that echoed from his days leading his men.
“Sokka, do you have the medical knowledge to treat another person with confidence?” Sokka froze and considered the question, hesitating briefly before shaking his head. Zuko continued. “If you do not have the accurate knowledge to know when something is being done incorrectly, then how can you be to blame for something you trusted a more knowledgeable person to do right?”
“I-” Sokka started to protest but the firm look Zuko gave him silenced his words as he sagged with a nod. “You’re right. I just- I’m sorry. I wanted to help. I thought I was helping and I should have just-” He gave a half-hearted gesture at the scroll but abandoned it partway with a greater sigh.
“A mistake was made.” Zuko assured him, the sharp edge softening to something casual and unbothered now. “But you’re not at fault for someone else’s fuck up.” He rolled the scroll up carefully now that the ink was dry as he continued. “Besides, now we know better and the corrections were made.”
Sokka took the offered scroll and gave it a quiet glance before nodding. He drew in a calming breath and shot Zuko an apologetic smile. “I really am sorry, Li. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“I know.” Zuko nodded, his shoulders jerking in a shrug as he moved to settle back on the cot with a flop. “It happens.”
Sokka took a moment to properly tuck the scroll safely inside his sea chest before joining Zuko to sit on the cot as well. The pillow was placed at the head of the bed where he had fished it out from underneath and was still wondering how in Agni’s name it got there. He bunched it up in his lap before smoothing it over and repeating the strokes just for something to do with his hands. He knew the risks had the medicine been prescribed in any higher dose or if it had been a different ingredient used instead of the more abundant and weaker version. He’s experienced those adverse effects before and they weren’t pretty. The memory of it, though foggy and cluttered in his head, was still present and he hated recalling those miserable days. He could still feel the touch of his mother’s fingers carding sweat soaked locks out of his face and wiping a wet cloth over his forehead to chase away the feverish heat that claimed him or the burn of bile in a throat already made raw from screaming and crying until he had no voice left.
He grimaced and brushed the memories away, focusing on the feel of the pillow under his hands and the weight of Sokka’s body at his side, close enough in the cramped space for their shoulders and elbows to brush. Sokka shot him a worried smile, but Zuko couldn’t really put much effort into his own like he wanted to. He just felt tired and the dull ache was slowly crawling back to the surface along the left side of his face. He didn’t want the medicine today so he opted for the far safer request of hot water and a rag. Sokka was more than happy to oblige as he settled down to relax while the warm rag chased away the worst of the ache before it could grow to be something he couldn’t ignore.
“Are those icebergs?” Li had asked once they reached the deck, drifting away from a fretful Sokka towards Hakoda’s position near the railing. Sokka had been wrangled in by Bato who needed him for something that didn’t require him stressing over his charge. Hakoda chuckled at Li’s wide eyed awe as the large icy protrusions floated in the water. Their ship easily navigated around them along with the spotty sheets of ice where turtle-seals rested to avoid the hunting packs of polar orca or pods of dolphin piranha that patrolled the waters.
“Yup.” Hakoda answered easily in his native tongue, watching the way Li reacted as he continued. “We’re just half a day out from home.” The soldier’s wide eyed expression amused the chief to know he was seemingly fluent in understanding their language. He’d had his suspicions for a while, but only a few instances to prove it. Li didn’t seem to clam up or go white at the revelation. His eyes met Hakoda’s and he looked sheepish now as he gave a small shrug and lowered his voice, speaking in Fire Nation.
“I’m not very good at speaking it back.” He admitted quietly, brow relaxed and thoughtful as his scarred eye squinted shut against the cold sting of sea spray.
Hakoda nodded, and switched back to Li’s native tongue. “That’s alright. You’ll have plenty of opportunities to practice through the winter.” There was a pause then, because the curiosity was killing him now. “Why did you learn it?”
Li’s face went bright red with embarrassment, which wasn’t necessarily a bad reaction and had Hakoda hopeful for an honest response. What he got, he wasn’t entirely expecting as the soldier fidgeted nervously and gave a little motion that might have been a shrug but looked like a shake that wasn't well thought out. “Your people don’t have a written form and rely on oral storytelling for everything. I wanted to be able to hear your stories.”
Hakoda let out a noise that was caught between surprise and laughter. He gave Li a long hard look and the man just looked even more flustered after that admission that it had to be the truth of it. The tribesman couldn’t hide the grin that spread as he asked. “You learned our language just so you could hear our stories?”
The little nod that followed was too precious to ignore. It reminded him of Sokka when he was young and eager to please and impress the older warriors. How self-conscious he could be at times with things that didn’t seem manly enough to matter like his love of poetry and the artful prose of calligraphy that he practiced and enjoyed.
“I like stories. I like hearing the origins of places and things, the why’s and how’s of what makes people who they are.” Li explained softly, his eyes going distant with a flood of warmth and an ache of yearning like he was grasping at a memory that was dancing across the ice floating in passing, just beyond his reach. “I learned the Earth Kingdom alphabet when I was little. My cousin would bring me play scrolls from Ba Sing Se and read them to me when I was bedridden, and I learned so I could read them myself when he was away.”
Hakoda’s grin wavered a little at the bittersweet memory Li shared. It was hard to imagine this man was a small frail child once upon a time, teaching himself new languages just so he could hear stories about strong adventurous heroes doing all the things he couldn’t, escaping the small walls of his bedchamber just to dream and pretend he was anywhere else. Giving the man a good hard look now, he could see the remnants of it. Li was unusually small compared to most men his age from his homeland. He wasn’t fragile or helpless, far from it in fact. He was strong and quick, like a pygmy puma. Just smaller in size than the other soldiers. It pained him, but he could imagine a sickly boy, too malnourished and weak to play with the other kids, watching from a window and hoping to be able to do all the things they could. To run and play and climb, and now he was a soldier doing all of those things in a war he hadn’t asked for.
It made him wonder if Li had even wanted to serve his country or if the Fire Nation forced their young men to fight regardless of choice. It was safer for Hakoda to assume and hope it was the latter after seeing everything that Li has been through, after knowing what he knows. It was hard to think that any man would choose that kind of life when he had an opportunity for something better.
It was cold and Zuko had opinions on that fact. He had to borrow a pair of buffalo yak skin mittens from Sokka as they moved further into the chilling waves that washed against the ship like playful seals flicking the sides in greeting. He donned his thicker warmer outfit in Water Tribe blues and watched the rocky shoreline grow larger with the dark slippery stones littered with lounging tiger seals that sunned themselves in the golden rays of mid afternoon. The air was crisp and cold as it filled his lungs and battered his face until his nose and cheeks were tinged red. He tried to snuggle deeper into the parka and ignored the quiet snickers from the rest of the crew as they walked past. His hair was tied up in a hasty yet casual braid that was far more comfortable than the usual topknot and fit better to let his hood rest properly on his head to shield his ears and neck from the nippy breeze.
Sokka came to get him and took him below deck to prepare to dock soon, packing away the essentials that Zuko might need once they reached the shore. He spoke quickly, looking shaken and nervous now, but simultaneously excited, much like the rest of the crew. The entire ship was buzzing with anticipation and anxious energy. Zuko could sympathize with the yearning to see the shores of their home again, to see their families and familiar places. He understood their anticipation, to know what has changed and what has stayed the same while they were gone. To hold their loved ones in their arms.
He forced the painful ache of his own homesickness aside and focused on what Sokka had been explaining as he took a satchel from his sea chest. Zuko recognized it after a moment as being his he was carrying during the scouting mission. It was empty from the looks of it, before Sokka started placing things from the prince’s chest inside of it. “You’ll be taken to see the Elders as soon as we reach land. This is very important.” The warrior emphasized that fact for the third time now as he placed the tins and vials of medicine and scroll of instructions inside the satchel. Zuko raised a brow at that as he stared after him.
“I’m not sure how long they’ll be speaking with you. It sort of varies from person to person. It could take a couple of hours or a couple days before a decision is made.”
“What?” This was the first time Zuko was hearing about this. He stared at the warrior from where he was curled up on the cot in the one place he was least likely to get in Sokka’s way as he added the containers of tea inside the satchel and paused, contemplating if anything else of importance would be necessary. “A couple of days?”
Sokka straightened up and glanced back around the cabin. His blue eyes drifted to catch Zuko’s bewildered expression before he aimed a reassuring smile at the prince. “Don’t worry. They might want to talk to others in the crew and that can sometimes take time.” Zuko felt like that was still worth worrying about. What was he expected to do for a couple days while the Elders came to a conclusion? Would they even consider sending him away? Could someone be denied permission to stay with the tribe? Would he end up in a prison cell? His mind was racing now the more he thought about it. The distress he was starting to feel must have shown as Sokka dropped to kneel by the edge of the cot and placed a firm hand on Zuko’s shoulder to catch his attention and console him. The comforting squeeze helped shake a little of the nerves away that were rising in his chest with every panicked thought.
“Hey, it’ll be fine. Okay?” The warrior handed the satchel over with another more confident smile. “The tea and your medicine are in here if you need it. After talking with the Elders, someone will take you to Hama. She’s our village healer. If it takes a few days, you’ll just stay in the healing hut until the decision is made. Hama will take care of you, I promise.”
Zuko gave a hesitant nod and sighed, forcing his shoulders to relax as he took the strap from the satchel and looped it over his head. He had to adjust the buckles to loosen it enough to fit around the much thicker bulkier parka. Smoothing his fingers over the fabric, he found something to keep himself busy while the ship made land. Sokka was called out of his cabin, leaving Zuko to fret and wallow in his thoughts for what seemed like an hour before he returned with a broader smile to usher the prince to the deck. The men were already beginning to unload the supplies and carry it onto deck, while a handful used the cargo as an excuse to slip away and greet their loved ones who were waiting on the shoreline.
Sokka was quick to steer the prince towards the rail and helped him climb down to the dock where he could be helped over and not stumble in his boots on the cluttered boards. There were so many people in a sea of blues in various shades, most were bundled casually in lighter clothes similar to the ‘autumn’ outfit Sokka had picked out for him before. Agni’s balls, he was not freezing his ass off in that thin attire and was immensely grateful for the warmer clothes the warrior had the forethought of purchasing for him. Sokka’s hand lingered on his shoulders as they worked their way through the noisy throng of families racing to meet their loved ones, throwing arms around necks and shouting joy to the sky above at being reunited. There were others who shared sorrowful looks and bittersweet smiles that made Zuko’s chest tighten and think back to Deirdre, Kit and Sheng’s families.
His head snapped up in alarm at the sound of a woman’s voice shouting loudly through the crowd, causing the warrior to stop in his tracks with wide eyes and a grin that split his face until nothing but teeth showed past dimpled cheeks. The native dialect was much thicker. “Sokka!”
“Katara!” Sokka blurted, whirling away from Zuko as he threw his hands up in time to avoid being tackled into the ground by the dark haired woman with beaded loops that hung from a long ponytail. She was slender and far shorter than the warrior but moved with the same confident determination that reminded Zuko of his own little sister. Her eyes were a lighter blue that glistened with tears of joy as she wrapped her arms around Sokka and squeezed with all her strength. The warrior wrapped his arms around her just as fiercely as he hoisted her up into a platypus bear hug and swung her around with an exuberant shout of his own.
He carefully lowered her to her feet where she steadied herself by gripping his shoulders with both hands and glared up at him, continuing in Water Tribe. “You better have brought me back something from your travels.” The stern look and the expectant set of her hands on her hips was enough to stir a bubble of laughter in Zuko’s chest as the woman looked the spitting image of Azula the last time the prince had a chance to see his little sister. It was eight months ago, perhaps longer. He had returned home, ragged and still nursing a dislocated shoulder from a nasty fall during an assignment, and was met with bright amber eyes boring into him with the same impatient tap of her foot and the strong armed hug in the privacy of their chambers as she asked questions faster than Zuko could remove his armor or hang his cloak up.
He felt the warm burn of tears pressing against the backs of his eyes as he blinked them away quickly and stood awkwardly to the side out of people’s way as he waited. Sokka looked busy trying to quell the wrath of a little sister while reassuring her that he had in fact brought her back a present from his travels and promised to give it to her later. He diverted her attention to focus on Zuko as he fiddled absently with the strap of his satchel and looked like a fox antelope in a lantern light. Wide eyed and confused as the warrior’s jovial voice lifted to introduce them in Fire Nation.
“Li, this is my little sister, Katara. Katara, this is Private Li of the Fire Nation.” The warm weight of Sokka’s hand returned to Zuko’s shoulder as he gave him an encouraging squeeze and nodded for him to speak up. Some of the tension ebbed out of him at the comfort of the warrior's touch.
Katara was much faster as she asked, skeptical and unashamed of it in their native tongue. “ Private Li? ” She tested the name on her tongue and looked at her brother. “Is this another one of your bad jokes, Sokka?”
Zuko snorted in amusement as Sokka looked put off by that. “Hey, it’s not my fault his name sounds like a horrible scouting joke.” Okay, Zuko felt like he should be affronted by that, but he couldn’t make himself feel it, especially when it was actually a really poorly made scouting joke. Years ago when he first came up with it, sixteen year old Zuko thought it was the best joke he had ever made. Now it was just old and lost a bit of its luster to time and his own calloused humor.
Reining the conversation back in, Zuko bowed deeply and respectfully as he greeted Katara in his native Fire Nation. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Katara of the Southern Water Tribe.”
She looked bemused at first before putting on a polite smile and greeting him back with a slightly better grasp of his language than her brother had in their first encounter. She could at least form the sounds properly even if she took it slower to make them. “It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, Private Li of the Fire Nation. Welcome to our home.”
“It is an honor.” He spoke with all the care and practice of a prince, his expression relaxed but neutral. He let the warmth rise to his eyes that failed to reach the rest of his face by the tightness of his scar and the bitter cold that spread the ache through his jaw up towards his ear. He was grateful for the hood that hid most of the damage. It made it easier for other people to ignore during pleasantries like this.
Straightening up, he jerked at the sound of Chief Hakoda’s voice calling over the crowd. “Sokka!”
“Dad!” Katara cried out, lunging at the Chief with a wider grin and more sweetness than she displayed to her brother, rising to her tiptoes to get her arms around the older warrior. Hakoda scooped his daughter up with the same care and enthusiastic ease as his son did, giving her a quick swing around and groaned pleasantly.
“I missed you, Katara.” There was so much warmth and pride in the chief’s eyes as he gazed upon his children. Sokka hovered closer, arms folded over his chest thoughtfully as he tilted his head to gain his father’s attention. “Sokka, help Tonuk and Kela with the crates. Inuk and Katla are a bit preoccupied.” The two men’s attention drifted towards the two brothers who stood a few feet away being mauled by a mountain of small children that had them both laid out on the ground, bouncing and giggling in delight as small hands clapped and tugged at the beads and braids in the boys’ hair.
Sokka leaned over to explain to Zuko with a smirk, nodding at the teenage girls. “The two girls are their sisters.” He gestured at an older man who stood beside the group and laughed, loud and deep. “That’s their older brother, and the three little ones are his kids.” Sokka pointed out the three little boys that turned climbing on thetwio brothers into a professional sport, keeping them seated on the ground as they wrestled and roared in mock outrage before being flattened out again to the peels of laughter.
Zuko felt a wave of heat rush through him at the realization that this homecoming could have been a lot less happy for the big family. Knowing how close they had come to losing Katla, made something tight tangle up inside of him. The prince smiled with relief, allowing the fluttery anxiety to abate as he turned towards Sokka. He gave Zuko a firm pat on the back. “I’ll see you later, okay?”
He nodded and watched as Sokka turned away to head back to the ship. The spot where his hand had been resting felt cold in comparison with the lost contact, causing Zuko’s hand to reach for the strap of the satchel and fiddle with the leather to keep his mind busy. His nerves were starting to return in full force as Hakoda gave him a sympathetic look.
“Li, come with me.” He beckoned, gesturing for the prince to step by his side. “Katara, make sure your brother stays out of trouble while I’m gone.” She smirked and waved them off before turning her attention on the rowdy crowd, suddenly taking her task with full seriousness.
Hakoda’s hand gingerly touched his shoulder, as if testing to see how Zuko would react to the interaction. He tensed momentarily, forced out a calming breath to lessen the knot of anxiety in his stomach and leaned into the touch, silently encouraging it. It felt easier to have a hand to steer him and keep him close, like a safety net in a sea of uncertainty. It was less daunting. Prince or not, Zuko spent more time in his life tucked away behind walls and tutors, or shuffling through long winded marches or sneaking in shadows than actually participating in the politics of his Nation that would require diplomatic meetings.
With Uncle Iroh being the next in line for the Dragon throne, cousin Lu Ten was the one who spent most of his time learning the complexities of court and political negotiations. Since Prince Ozai was certain Zuko wouldn’t live to reach adulthood, he hadn’t bothered with expending the time and energy to teach him these things. Instead Azula took the mantle. Zuko tried not to let it sting as much as it did to know his family had intended for Azula to step in front of him in the line of succession for years. She was far better at reading people, she was quick of tongue and sharp of mind for the underhanded tactics of court and the hidden daggers inside pretty promises.
Zuko was far too literal and trusting of people, as Azula had put it when he’d rant and rave about supply problems and neutrality laws that were being manipulated against him and his forces. Everything came easy to Azula, and he tried not to resent her for that fact. It wasn’t her fault. Father always said she was born lucky, and even the healers agreed with the prince that Zuko was lucky to be born. He was never expected to live. He was never meant to, and that fact was shoved in his face at every turn throughout his entire life.
If there was one thing Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation was good at, it was surviving out of sheer spite. Defying the odds and spitting into the faces that tried to cut him down and sever his life short. Fire, arrows, poison, whips and blades, the raging sea and illness couldn’t stop him. Slow him down? Maybe a little, but he burned past that with a dismissal and continued forward as stubborn as a komodo rhino.
Unfortunately, no amount of stubbornness or spite could save him from this situation so he was forced to fall back on what little diplomacy he knew from the fleeting lessons with tutors and the idle advice of his Uncle or his cousin when he’d write to them about his struggles with locals and merchants who sneered at him with contempt and reluctance.
The relief of finally being home again hit Hakoda like a tidal wave as he watched his people reunite and rejoice. He was anticipating a great feast to come once the last two ships return over the next day or so. Chinuk’s ship should be arriving later this evening and Ninuk’s, at most, will be arriving tomorrow morning if La is kind to them. His chest swelled with warmth and pride upon seeing his children together again. Katara looked every bit the strong woman he remembered when they shipped off in the Spring, the crew still recovering from the celebrations of the last festival as they shared their farewells. He had already spotted the fruits of those festivities in the bulging bellies of expectant mothers around the village.
Healer Hama and Katara were going to be busy this winter. He could already hear the inevitable wails of newborns clinging to the warm breasts of their mothers and sharing their confused anguish with the world. It brought fond memories of Sokka’s birth to mind, with a blizzard battering the doors to their hut and Kya’s shouts of labor echoing in the cramped room. He paced about frantically as Bato fed the fire and talked him through it. His mother had come to get him when those first strong cries reached his ears. He had dropped to his knees with joy and relief, eyes wide and glistening with tears as he gazed upon his family. He could still remember it clearly, Sokka’s tiny fingers trying to wrap around his thumb as the brightest bluest eyes he has ever seen beamed up at him with all the curiosity of the world. That spark never died out or faded in the boy as he grew into an inquisitive young man.
Katara had come in the late Summer and struck like a gale storm. Her tantrums and determination were unrivaled as she stormed about with perseverance to trail after her big brother. Nothing could stop that girl, much like her mother and grandmother, she was a force of nature. Together those two were little terrors for the entire village, but Hakoda wouldn’t trade a single headache for the world. They were his pride and joy.
Even if his pride and joy brought more troubles. He turned an eye to check on Li as they navigated their way through the hustle and bustle of a busy village rife with excited people. It was a good feeling, even if some tears of grief were shared for the few they lost along the way. There will be time to remember and mourn them during a midnight prayer to the spirits. A few eyes drifted towards them as they passed, the attention drawn to the soldier’s strange presence. Some recognized his traits as Fire Nation and shared knowing looks before moving on. Others stared with puzzlement, and the majority didn’t seem to notice him at all with his hood drawn to hide most of him from view. That alone made him stand out given the pleasantly cool weather. Li was the most heavily dressed one in the crowd, and that included the elderly and small children who had a tendency to bundle up more.
His hand still lingered on the soldier’s shoulder as he guided him along. The younger man fidgeted anxiously with the strap of the satchel he assumed Sokka had given to him. He wasn’t sure what all was inside of the bag but he could make some fair guesses judging by what little the soldier owned that would be necessary to take with him. The faint scent of tea lingered, giving Hakoda a decent clue. Either that or the man had spilled the contents of those containers on his clothes before leaving the ship.
As they moved away from the docks, they headed into the heart of town with the wooden houses made of birch and other available timber. The rooftops were layered with turf that helped insulate their homes through the bitterly cold winters and stone supported the foundations to keep much of the snow from drifting in. Dirt packed around with elevated stone helped avoid flooding or the chances of the doors being blocked by snow in the night. Frequent rotations to shovel it away aided further. It quickly became a community effort, and if it got too bad, they would all pile into the community longhouse to wait it out.
They still had a few weeks to spare before the first snowfall should be upon them and even longer before the first major storm of the year. He looked forward to a return of normalcy and routine that went beyond sharpening tools, directing fleet navigations, and listening to Earth Kingdom Generals argue for power and trade barbs faster than they’re willing to trade information. Just months of fishing, hunting and shoveling snow.
The village wasn’t as large as the Earth Kingdom cities, even with it being the capital of the Southern Tribes, but it had its own grand feel in comparison to the other villages. It was their focal point, a hub for trade when the merchant ships came by way of Kyoshi island.
At the heart of the village was the communal longhouse, and there the Elders would be waiting to greet Li. It was massive and made primarily of wood with some decorative figures and paintings depicting the stories of their community carved into the face. Inside were more with woven tapestries, colorful murals and antique weapons and armor on various displays around a great cooking fire and numerous feasting tables. Hakoda had spent many winters gathered inside of this place, hearing the tales of their people, ancient battles and spirit encounters filling his head with curiosity and awe. His children had enjoyed the same experience and he couldn’t wait to see Li settle into one of the worn wooden seats with a hot meal and an ear turned to drink in every tale their storytellers had to offer.
The large heavy double doors were closed as braziers danced with little flames to greet them at the entrance. The torches in the front were burning, informing the others in the village that a council meeting was going on inside. It ensured complete uninterrupted privacy for the Elders and their discussions. “Wait here.” Hakoda urged, giving Li’s shoulder a firm squeeze. The man rattled out of whatever heavy thoughts had him preoccupied as he wandered the village on autopilot beside the tribesman. He perked up and gave Hakoda’s arm a small tug to draw him back before entering.
“Um, sir? If I may make a request?” Hakoda turned back to find the soldier expertly slipping the buckles free without a single wasted movement, as fingers moved over familiar corners as he fished something out of the satchel. Sure enough, one of the decorative pai sho tins was pulled free. It was still sealed with a ribbon tied carefully around it. It was a little crinkled from being handled and shoved into the satchel alongside whatever else was inside. The jasmine flower tile shone in the sun, just as neat and polished as when Sokka procured it weeks ago.
Hakoda accepted the tin with a raised brow. Li straightened up with the same neutrality and care he had shown in the past, only with less military attention. This looked far more formal and personal as he started to speak and explain. “It is customary to provide a gift.” He looked uncertain of that before turning sheepish as he corrected hastily. “Normally it would be more fitting to give it to a foreign dignitary in person, but on the grounds that I’m unaware of the etiquette of doing so in your tribe, I ask that you provide it to the Elders on my behalf, please.”
Well, this was certainly unexpected. Hakoda’s mouth quirked in a smile of amused surprise as he nodded and accepted the tin. “I’ll be sure to pass the gift along, Li. Thank you. Just wait here. I’ll only be a few minutes as I inform the Elders that you’re here.”
Li nodded hastily and moved to fix the buckles of his satchel so they were secure again. Hakoda could tell the man was nervous and just needed something to do with his hands. He could sympathize with the feeling, and gave him one last reassuring smile before slipping inside. The tin of Jasmine tea was tucked carefully under his arm as he stepped inside. The wave of heat from the central fire and the scent of smoke rushed his senses and made him ache for a home cooked meal.
His mother, being the eldest of the group and the one in charge in Hakoda’s absence, greeted him as he stepped forward and presented the customary gift of tobacco which he kept in a leather pouch inside his coat. “A gift for you from me.” He started with an air of respect, his voice lowered with fondness. “And a gift from Private Li of the Fire Nation.”
His mother’s wizened gaze grew just a fraction with her own amused and bewildered smile. Her white hair hung, meticulously braided with blue beads fitted with love before it all wound back into a neat bun tied with embroidered ribbons that had been a gift from him to her in the past. Age may have stolen her youth, but she was still the beautiful strong woman that raised him. As he straightened up, she held her arms to pull him into a steady embrace. He returned it with care around her small frame and stooped to press a kiss to her brow. She tilted her head to return the affection of a mother that missed her own son dearly.
“It is good to have you home with us again, Hakoda.” She spoke softly into his ear. Hakoda drew away enough to meet her pale blue eyes, his hands still lingering in their reluctance to completely let go just yet as he returned it with warmth in his voice.
“It’s good to be home again, mother.”
Notes:
So I mentioned before that for the Southern Tribe, I'm taking a lot of inspiration from both Inuit and Viking cultures. Such as the turf roof housing which was common with Icelandic Viking architecture to insulate homes through cold winters and keep them cool in the Summers. I'm taking a lot of creative liberties with how the Southern Tribe's villages work and look, basing it on more realistic settings and applying Icelandic and similar climates and seasons. So, this is gonna be fun.
Also, it might be a few days before I post the next chapter, we'll see. I'm going to be really busy for the rest of the week and I have a lot of planning and research to do plus managing the meeting with the Elders for Zuko. I have a LOT planned and I might have bitten off more than I can chew. So we'll see. For all we know, I might pull a miracle out of my ass.
Thank you all again for the wonderful feedback. I laughed and cracked up at quite a few comments. Y'all are fantastic and a delight!
Chapter 12
Summary:
Zuko speaks with the Elders and meets Healer Hama.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Kanna’s relief at having her family returned safely to her was shadowed by her duty to the council of her tribe and as the head in her son’s absence. There will be much time for celebration and stories later when the rest of the fleet returns. It didn’t dissuade the fluttering warmth in her chest at the lingering whisper of her son’s arms around her and how their comforting weight felt after months of dreading and worrying for his safety. The pouch of tobacco sat heavy in her pocket with the embroidered wolf’s head insignia of their tribe lightly outlined by her cool fingers. The gift from their newcomer, Private Li of the Fire Nation was a pleasant surprise.
War Prizes weren’t expected to offer gifts to the Elders. It was a custom regarded only by diplomatic members of their community or outsiders seeking wisdom and counsel, or other negotiations from other nations. It wasn’t a well known practice outside of their tribes which piqued her interest about this strange young man her grandson had brought home. She didn’t expect Sokka or Hakoda to tell the man this, as it wouldn’t have occurred to either of them to share it with an outsider.
Hakoda brought the Fire Nation soldier before the council and politely took his leave. The man was smaller than most she had seen from his homeland and worried briefly whether he was actually a child soldier given his slight appearance. The thick layers of water tribe winter garments made it hard to tell even after the soldier removed his hood to face them properly. The puckered skin of a scar twisted the left side of his face into a permanent scowl where the right side was considerate and far more relaxed in comparison. The rigid stance alerted her to his nervousness as his fingers gripped the leather strap of the satchel he had carried in with him and dug his nails into the edges with anticipation.
The council was made up of five elders, typically chosen by their own people to serve as the caretakers of their inner structure. The Chief delegated the final decisions but the elders made the choices, heard the concerns of the people and, in some cases, could even overrule the chief’s decisions or remove him from position entirely. She was grateful to know that her son had never made a mistake or decision that would warrant his removal. He was a compassionate leader who loved his people dearly.
Aside from herself, there was elder Kaluk, who tended to be the harshest voice in their group, urging them to comb over every decision and negative possibility meticulously no matter how tiring or lengthy the process was. Ikiaq was a passive observer that spoke little until the time came for a final decision. Kanna had grown to appreciate that about the older man, even if Kaluk found frustration in it. Pana was a wise woman and mother of three beautiful girls who had grown to be strong women that gave much to their tribe and had large loving families of their own. She had a hopeful way of viewing things that gave even their darkest moments a glimpse at the light ahead. Kodiak was the youngest one among them, still in his prime as a warrior but a dedicated teacher and provider to their people with his own little one toddling about the village. A child born of a Water Tribe warrior and a Fire Nation noblewoman. Lady Ezra had joined them a few winters back and was a beloved part of their community now. Normally, he wouldn’t have been sitting in as part of the council, but given that his father, Nanouk had passed on in the early Summer months, they had no one to replace him and it was decided that Kodiak would fit the spot until further notice. Kanna appreciated his careful demeanor and own experiences in bringing a War Prize back with him. It could be a valuable asset now.
Seated at a long table with the crackling fires burning in the braziers around them, the central fire of the longhouse was currently out. The embers still warm from the night prior, awaiting the chance to be stoked to life. It sat at the soldier’s back where the man waited, patient and anxious, for the discussion to begin.
Her voice rose in the stifling quiet of the longhouse, breaking the ice so to speak with an easy question in Fire Nation. “What would you like us to call you?”
The man looked startled and confused before he smoothed the expression away and took a breath to relax the tension in his body. “Everyone just calls me Li, ma’am.” He paused, worried as he struggled. “If I may ask, is there any formal way for me to address you? I’m unfamiliar with your tribe’s customs and I wouldn’t want to cause any disrespect.”
“Just Kanna is fine.” She assured him warmly, amused at the blush that crept up on the young man’s face and the embarrassed shifting as he nodded his understanding. A pause before she smiled, adding. “We are grateful to receive your gift, Li.” He looked relieved to hear that and smiled a little before it faded back to the earlier nerves.
“It is an honor to meet you.” He bowed deeply, his hands folded in a very Fire Nation way.
As he straightened up, the warmth in her eyes turned serious with the next topic as she spoke. “Li, I would like to explain to you the rights you have as a war prize among our tribe and the rules expected of you for the extent of your stay with us.” He stiffened at that and shifted uncomfortably, giving a firm nod to show he was listening.
Kanna continued. “You have a right to your privacy and no one is allowed to take that from you. That being said, we appreciate honesty here and if your actions could cause potential harm to the rest of the tribe, then there will be consequences and privileges can be taken away. Privacy and freedom are not one in the same, do you understand?”
He nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
“You will be assigned a job or daily tasks based on your skillset and expected to perform them. In our tribe, everyone works to get us through the winter. If for any reason, you cannot perform the job or task, you will be assigned a caretaker that you can talk to and a new job can be chosen or allowances can be made.” Kanna carefully explained, ensuring Li was following along. The man gave her his utmost attention, golden eyes like a blazing fire staring into her. It may have been unnerving were it not for the fact he looked as skittish as a snow rat before a polar dog, and like an otter penguin could bully him down.
“You will never be treated cruelly or harmed. If anyone treats you this way, you are to speak to your caretaker or you may seek out myself, Chief Hakoda or you may speak to Healer Hama.” The additional rules explained involved respectful and appropriate behavior expected of him, housing situations as Li would be provided the opportunity to choose where he would like to stay. Whether he wished to stay with Sokka, to bunk in a guest hut that is often provided for visitors to the tribe or to stay with someone of his homeland that has joined the tribe. There is even the option that he could be moved to another village if he felt uncomfortable staying here. It wasn’t uncommon for war prizes to avoid the one that had taken them initially as there is understandable bad blood or resentment at being taken from their people.
When she finished her explanation, she finally asked. “Do you understand these rules?”
The man nodded quietly. “Yes ma’am.”
“Have you been treated in any way that goes against these rules so far?” She asked with more seriousness than her earlier questions.
Li paused, seeming to think back on his time spent with the Water Tribe so far. She appreciated that he was taking her question into consideration before he tilted his head, chin raised as he spoke with certainty. “Your people have treated me fairly and with much kindness and respect. More than I ever deserve.”
Kanna nodded though that last part hadn’t slipped by her unnoticed, instead she tucked it away for further speculation. Carrying on with the hearing, she continued. “Please, tell us how you came into our tribe’s custody.”
The soldier looked anxious at that request and tipped his head to gaze at the floor thoughtfully, brows furrowed in concentration like he was trying to recall something from long ago. He pursed his lips before he started to report, his tone going stiff in their military way that was so common on the continent. “I was participating in a scouting mission to observe an Earth Kingdom encampment on the edge of a mountain pass near Omashu. We weren’t aware that Water Tribe warriors had joined the fight until we had been ambushed.” He seemed to pause as the words that his lips formed came silently and his golden eyes grew distant.
She could see that whatever it was he was thinking of pained him as he struggled to carry on with the report. His jaw worked uselessly, his breathing came in quick huffs for a spell as he seemed frustrated before shaking the thought off. Whatever he was warring with inside his head had left him tense.
“Sokka.” He spoke her grandson’s name like it was a lifeline in the sea of doubt that troubled him. His hand twitched to the satchel that hung against his hip, hesitant to do more than fiddle with the buckle like he was trying to decide whether or not it would be appropriate to reach for whatever was inside the bag. He forced himself to linger on that line of indecision as he barreled ahead. “We surrendered, when it was a losing battle and Sokka took me in. He protected me from the ire of the Earth Kingdom soldiers. He was patient with me, even when I-” His voice trailed off, eyes searching the floor for the rest of his sentence but found nothing of use.
His shoulders sagged with defeat before he shook his head slowly. “I’m sorry.” It was remorseful as he fiddled with the buckle with more determination, giving it a forceful yank between his fingers now causing the satchel to jump against his hip.
Kanna tore her gaze away to find Kodiak’s sharp blue eyes turned to her. He had tapped his fingers in a subtle pattern to draw her attention his way. The concerned pinch of his brows echoed her own worries. He cocked his head towards the private chamber door behind them and mouthed ‘Break.’ The blue beads in his hair bounced in their tightly woven braid leading up to the neat wolfstail.
She nodded and stood at the table. “Li, I believe we should take a short break.” She gestured for him to take a seat at one of the tables. “Would you like anything, a drink or something to eat? You’ve had a long journey.”
His golden eyes met hers as he gave a tiny perk of his shoulders in a half shrug before rasping out apologetically. “A drink if it’s no trouble.”
“Certainly.” She assured. “Take a seat and relax. We’ll return shortly.” He looked conflicted at that before picking a bench at one of the large feasting tables and settled into the corner spot. The satchel was drawn up to rest on the table where he hugged it against his chest for something to do with his arms.
Pana was quick to get a refreshment for their guest, slipping away as the rest of them shuffled for the doorway leading to an adjacent chamber where a smaller room was built onto the longhouse. It had several cushions laid out, furs lined the walls and covered the floor where they settled in. They waited for Pana to return, assuring them that a warm drink had been given to Li. He looked troubled still which clearly worried her.
Kaluk looked unimpressed by her care and frowned, arms folded over his chest as one hand stroked his white goatee. It was the only patch of hair he had left on his head aside from the bushy white eyebrows that narrowed with displeasure. Ikiaq was silent as always, leaving Kodiak who settled in a seat across from Kanna to speak up.
“If I may, I would like to request permission to bring Lady Ezra to sit in on this hearing.” He spoke with care.
Kaluk cocked a brow at that as he asked sharply. “Why?”
Kodiak didn’t take the older man’s tone personally as he explained patiently. “I have a feeling about this that her insight may be useful for seeing something we may be missing. I don’t need to remind you all that she is from the Fire Nation as well. Something about Li makes me think it would benefit us in the long run and at least provide some familiarity.”
Kanna considered it. “He is still young and this is a big change. Perhaps the comfort of a countryman may ease his burdens.” Kodiak nodded, but turned to the rest of the elders for their agreement. Pana and Ikiaq nodded their consent, and even Kaluk even if he looked bitter about the idea.
They waited for the younger tribesman to slip out of the chamber and retrieve his wife, sitting in silence until his return.
They resumed the hearing with Lady Ezra seated beside Kodiak where a spare chair had been brought to place beside him. The both of them were tucked on the very end of the table. Her long black hair was braided with red beads and golden ribbons, with long braided loops that were common in their tribe framing her face before it was tied back in a bun. Her amber eyes softened as they fell upon Li’s nervous posture as he returned to his stance before them all. He looked puzzled by the addition to the council but didn’t speak up on it.
“Li.” Kanna began, drawing his complete attention to her as she continued their earlier questions. “You said that Sokka took you in, have you been in his care this whole time?”
The soldier nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
“Would you mind telling me what that experience was like for you?”
He paused, brows furrowed in thought but Kanna noticed he no longer looked troubled. His expression relaxed as some of the tension bled away. She could almost assume he may have looked fond if it weren’t for the scar distorting his facial muscles so much. “It was interesting.” Li started sounding the slightest bit amused, before correcting himself quickly with a more formal tone. “He was a good caretaker. He fulfilled his responsibilities with patience and care.”
“And what responsibilities do you believe he fulfilled?” Kanna teased out the information cautiously, worried that the soldier might hit a nerve and clam up.
That look of concentration returned as if he were suddenly uncertain about the question and the expected answer. “He always made certain I had sufficient food, even when I never asked. He purchased clothes for me.” He gestured at the well fitted blue fabric that hugged his body. “Sokka even sought out medicine for my scar, thinking of something that I had never divulged was necessary. He was considerate of my boundaries, respected my opinions when I made them known and was patient when I may have been less than pleasant to deal with at the start.”
Kanna nodded, feeling a swell of pride to hear these things about her grandson. He will make a fine chief someday, much like his father. “I’m pleased to hear that, thank you Li.”
He nodded, a formal bow of his head. “Yes ma’am.”
“Li, what skills do you have to offer?” He looked puzzled by the question exactly, so Kanna elaborated. “While you’re here, you’ll be expected to help around the village. Knowing your skill set will allow us to better accommodate tasks you can perform.”
A look of sudden understanding flashed across his face as he turned thoughtful and resumed his earlier fidgeting. His fingers toyed with the buckle on his satchel for several long minutes until he came to a conclusion.
“I am experienced in celestial navigation and tracking.” He offered. “I’m not entirely sure whether those would be useful to your people. The rest of my skills are more combat oriented, ma’am.”
Kanna sighed. “We’ll keep that in mind. You may have a hidden talent or perhaps you may learn something new during your stay.” Her smile was warm and it seemed to soothe his anxious movements a little as his tight shoulders sagged just a fraction in relief.
“If I may, ma’am.” He approached the question with just as much care and formality, his body reflecting the military stiff posture. “Sokka informed me that I’ll be staying with you until Spring, is that correct?”
Kanna nodded. “Yes, it is.” She was surprised, wondering if her grandson had already explained many of these things to the young man. He didn’t look bothered by the confirmation, just curious. Normally this explanation would be made towards the end of their hearing, but she had no problem addressing any questions right now.
“When the Spring comes, I make a decision on whether I want to leave or not?”
“That is correct.” She assured.
He frowned. “What if-” he started, his voice hesitating a moment as he considered the weight of what he wanted to say. “What if I make the choice to leave, would I still be permitted to return if I- if I were to change my mind?”
It was a peculiar question to ask, she noted. It made her ponder just what kind of impression Sokka had made on the young man already. He was a strange one, not quite fitting the usual mold their past war prizes had set before him. He acted more like a visiting diplomat than a war prisoner taken from his home. It was amusing and intriguing. Her grandson certainly knows how to pick them.
“As long as you abide by our rules until then, I see no reason why not.” The reassurance didn’t seem to extend to the young man as he gave a small jerky nod. His golden eyes were sharp and worried like a storm was hovering above his shoulders.
The rest of the discussion involved arrangements and preferences. Whether or not Li felt comfortable enough to remain under Sokka’s care or would rather someone else be responsible for his needs. Li extended his desire to remain under Sokka’s care and to house with him, if it wasn’t any trouble for the other tribesman. Kanna was pleased to hear this as they closed the hearing with a quiet appreciation for his honesty.
Pana directed Li out of the longhouse, ensuring he would be taken to see Hama so she could look over him properly. Until their investigation is finished, he was expected to remain in the healer hut. She just hoped it wouldn’t take much longer, but judging by what little she knew of the soldier, it might not be as easy as she initially thought it would. There were things he wouldn’t talk about, things that bothered him. Incidences unspoken that may have happened on his journey to the South Pole and she was determined to find the truth of the matter and whether his courteous demeanor was genuine or not.
Zuko was nervous. It was a bit of an understatement to say so, as his anxiety rose to a level of jittery nausea. He didn't know if the request for a break part way through was typical for this sort of meeting, or if it signified something he had done wrong. The warm drink had been appreciated even if he was too stressed to really enjoy it. It left a spark of warmth in his gut long after with a slight flush to his cheeks that chased away the cold from outside.
He didn't know what to think really about the addition of the Fire Nation woman. She was very clearly from his homeland, with her pale skin and raven black hair. The style she donned looked like a mixture of water tribe traditional for the women and a rather recent Caldera fashion with the neat bun in the back. It was a style his mother favored herself when he left home.
Like the rest, she never spoke. Just watched him calmly with her soft amber eyes. It reminded him very much of his mother, and that fact pained him as he ached to see her again.
The kindly woman named Pana escorted him away from the longhouse when the meeting was finished and explained to him that he was going to be seeing their village healer. The knot of anxiety wound up in his stomach hadn't relented at that news. Pana must have noticed as she offered him a warm smile and a quiet reassurance that everything was going to be fine.
Hama was as old as the rest of the elders with a sweet smile but a no nonsense attitude that reminded him of Uncle Iroh. It was familiar in a comforting way as he was led inside her healer hut. It was cozy with a central fire that warmed the hut and several small cots laid with furs arranged against one side of the room. There was a large wooden table covered in scrolls and bowls of various dried ingredients made of plants or powders finely ground by a mortar and pestle. An herbal smokey scent drifted to his nostrils with every breath as he inspected the cabinets and hanging bushels of plants or glass bottles of various questionable substances.
It lacked the nauseating sterile scent of a typical Fire Nation infirmary, though there were the slightest hints of familiarity that still left him twitchy and sick with nerves. The whole place felt cozier than any physician's wing in the Fire Nation. With far less metal instruments on display and cold isolated tables that made him feel small and defenseless no matter how old he was. He hated it regardless. He despised the bitter necessity for it that he was forced to abide by.
But here, he didn't feel small and insignificant or like his opinion over his own care didn't matter. It was an unnecessary factor they had so easily left out. He didn't share that fear here, when Healer Hama gave him a look full of compassion as she guided him to one of the cots and urged him to take a seat to relax. She left his side for only a few minutes as she turned to the fire where a small pot was heating in the hot embers on the edges and poured him a drink much like the one Pana had given him before. It was sweet and warm, spreading a flush across his face before a sharp note of bitterness lingered in the back of his throat with a creeping heat. It was unlike anything he's ever had before from either the Earth Kingdom or in Caldera. Cradling the tankard between his palms, he let the drink relax him as he sipped at it slowly while Hama finished whatever task they had interrupted.
"Tell me child," She hummed sweetly as she worked, her eyes turned away from him and fixed on her task. "What is your name?"
"Everyone calls me Li." He answered easily, well aware he was toeing the line of honesty. She appeared unbothered by the wording as she shared a smile with him over her shoulder. A thin grey shawl decorated with beautiful flower embroidery sat delicately upon her slight frame. The ends were fringed in little tassles that hung down and swayed with her movements. It looked old and lovingly made with faded edges carefully mended.
Zuko took another sip of the drink and thought of the heat that curled comfortably in his belly and settled there like its own little fire.
"How old are you, Li?" That same motherly voice danced in the air around him. He's answered these questions before but somehow it felt less daunting to be asked them again with the sound of Hama working the pestle against the dried ingredients and hearing the soft crunch as they gave under her weathered old hands.
"I'm twenty-four, ma'am." She answered him with a hum of acknowledgement, her snow white hair tied back in the traditional water tribe style with long braids and beads woven through as they hung down to frame the sides of a wizened face. It occurred to Zuko, through the sedated contentment that had washed over him that her Fire Nation was nearly perfect in comparison to the others. It caused him to take a harder look at her but she appeared to be entirely water tribe from the notable darkness of her skin to the blue-gray of her eyes and even the thicker texture of her hair.
"Still so young." Her voice was a touch mournful at that, her eyes turned to meet his for just a moment as she collected her mixture and carried it in a clay bowl to place inside one of the cabinets. He felt a small flutter of worry skip into his chest as she returned to address him and the nearly empty drink in his hands. The glow of the fire was bright but muted around the edges of his vision, lacking its usual depth and sharpness that he both appreciated and feared in equal measure. A morbid part of his mind whispered ' if you can see all the edges, then you're safe.'
A childish belief that he told himself for years that bore no actual merit for safety. Logic determined he could see all the edges of a forest fire but the smoke will still suffocate him and the searing heat will still burn his lungs with every deep breath. A hot iron can still brand him if he's not careful no matter how well he can see it as it rests in the coals.
"Were you a soldier, Li?" He noted the way she seemed to hang a little more emphasis on were as if he could walk away from it so easily. Another part of him told him it was, in fact, that easy. He was here, now and no longer serving his country. He was a war prize, a prisoner and a rather willing one at that. It felt bitter to swallow those words without cutting himself on the jagged edges. It felt like treason. Like betraying his country. He could have tried harder to escape, he could have fought more and with intent. He could have killed his way out but he chose a more peaceful route. He formed feelings and attachments in a way that his father would have regarded as weakness. Zuko called it survival but his father would call him a traitor.
His grip on the cup tightened as he gave a short nod. His voice came quieter, raspier even to his own ears. "Yes ma'am." He drew in a shaky breath and set the cup aside where a small end table was placed beside the cot. With his hands free, he regretted the decision as they balled into fists in his lap.
Hama nodded, then asked. "Your military performs routine examinations of their soldiers, am I correct?"
Zuko nodded, well aware that he always managed to skirt around that by leveraging his royal status against the medics and making unfulfilled promises to be checked over properly by the palace physicians. He felt guilty about lying on the forms as he paid one of the physicians to sign off on it without giving him so much as a glance, but if they saw what was under his armor, there would be far too many questions. Questions he couldn't risk reaching back to his family. He hasn't had a routine examination since he began his service.
She hummed softly. "This'll be similar to that." The older woman started, explaining to him how the water tribe takes care to document every scar, abnormality and the overall health of the prisoners in their care to prevent any misinformation or accusations of mistreatment from coming back to the tribe when some prisoners choose to leave and return home. Tattoos, scars, birth marks, any ailments or injuries that may have gone unnoticed or untreated and so on. Overall, they take this process very seriously which any other time Zuko would have appreciated enthusiastically were he not the subject of her current attention.
He swallowed thickly, bowing his head a little in reluctant resignation. He understood the importance of this and he has had more than enough people poking at him over his lifetime. The examination itself wasn't what he dreaded, it was simply an act of going through the motions. It was the questions that would inevitably come about that he would be forced to explain. Some things he just wasn't ready to. Others, he wished he could forget. And a few, he couldn't. It was dangerous for him to try.
At Hama's patient urging, he started to remove his clothes. She moved to gather parchment, an ink stone and a brush, and returned with a large blanket fit to swallow him up if he huddled into a ball, and laid it on the cot beside him atop the neatly folded clothes. His hands moved to wrap himself up in the woven fabric for both warmth and modesty as he waited for her to begin her questions.
Most of it involved the estimated age of certain scars, whether or not they happened in combat and if they still caused him any form of pain or irritation. Zuko found an easy distraction when the burn was the first to be questioned. Surprisingly, this was possibly the easiest one to answer.
"I was eleven when a fire broke out in my bedroom in the night. A tipped over candle that had been forgotten." He explained, but he didn't quite remember those events himself. He had been so sick and the healers gave him a strong medicine to help him sleep it off. He just remembered the pain of waking up and feeling Agni's anger crawling over his face. Fear and instinct had him scrambling out into the halls where he collapsed before the guards came rushing towards him. He remembered his mother's cries and the cold disapproval in his father's eyes. At first, Zuko had thought he was angry at the guards for not noticing the fire, or the healers for leaving a candle burning, but as he got older, Zuko started to wonder if maybe the disapproval had been directed at him for surviving the fire at all. It was a thought he harbored quietly to himself, keeping it tucked away where the rest of the family couldn't see the way it cut him up and made him bleed the harder he squeezed it close to his chest.
Hama nodded and wrote down everything Zuko said, noting the placement of the injury and the cause. "Does it cause you any kind of pain or discomfort?"
"Yes." He answered with certainty. "The cold makes it tight and it hurts. I can't see out of this eye either, or hear anything in this ear." He gestured then reached for the satchel as he dug out the scroll and medications Sokka bought him.
"Normally hot water and a wet rag helps with the tightness, but Sokka got these for me for the pain." He passed the supplies over so Hama could give them a thorough inspection. She looked impressed as she read over the Earth Kingdom instructions and smiled.
"Who made these corrections here?" She pointed at Zuko's hasty handwriting.
"I did, ma'am." He ducked his head sheepishly. "I have a little bit of medical knowledge from past experience. They are correct, aren't they?"
She smiled warmly at him, and praised. "I'd estimate they're very close. That's impressive." Zuko felt the flush of his cheeks spread in a self conscious blush as he nodded, dropping his gaze bashfully. Hama carried the supplies to set it on her table for later when she could give it all of her attention, and returned to continue her questions.
She noted the defensive marks and wounds on his arms from years of close combat using swords and similar marks across his chest where more than a few strikes got too close for comfort. Most of it was expected of a frontline soldier, especially a scout. Scrapes along the knees or whitened scarring on his knuckles from scuffles earned a knowing look that felt warm in a way. Like he was simply a rambunctious teenager with too much energy to burn off.
The dark rope burns on his ankle and upper thighs drew a concerned look.
"Climbing incident." He explained sheepishly, gesturing to the burns around his thighs. He was still rather new to the service and the rigging they prepared to scale a cliff face had given under the strain and weight after multiple uses. The marks around his ankle was an entirely different time, when he'd been tied up and dragged behind an ostrich horse. The large scrapes along his thigh and hip were a result as he tried to gain enough leverage on the line to cut the rope and simultaneously prevent his head from hitting any obstacles along the way. He had limped off in a less than graceful escape as the Blue Spirit and spent the following week cursing the hard seating and meetings he was forced to endure with his captains without giving away he was injured.
Hama noted each scar and mark on his front until she had a detailed description of their placement, estimated age and whether they were a future concern much like his burn. The majority were not, which appeared to be a relief in and of itself. He didn't need more reasons to seek out medical attention than he was already begrudgingly willing to do.
Zuko was a bit hesitant to let the blanket fall down his back to reveal that mess. He knew it looked bad from what poorly made glimpses he had stolen while trying to tend to them with a small hand mirror and his own medical knowledge. He was forced, after two days of agony, to discreetly seek out medical assistance from a crazy Earth Kingdom woman who lived on a mountain with her cat. She was his safest bet for getting it tended to in a way that ensured there would be no infection and he could continue his charade of pretending it didn't hurt just to wear his formal robes in meetings or that sitting upright for longer than half an hour didn't make him sick with pain so much that he had to excuse himself politely and race to the nearest private bin to vomit.
He didn't doubt there were people who suspected something was wrong, or noticed his strange stiff posture or aversion to physical greetings, or the way his back never touched a wall or chair for so long. He ducked out of any attempts to touch his shoulder and noticed the alarmed or concerned looks from his Captains at the action, or the worried pinch of his Uncle's brows or the way Lu Ten's eyes tracked him more closely. It didn't help that he couldn't accept any hugs from his family, shooting apologetic glances their way before hastily excusing himself with half assed reasons why he needed to be anywhere but there just to avoid the looks they would give him.
Azula had asked once, when she noticed he was sleeping on his stomach with the pillows arranged oddly and the heavier bedding discarded despite the nip in the air. She plopped on the edge of his mattress, silently calculating what was bothering him and speculating in her head. He was grateful that she never voiced those words, probably because she knew the risks that someone else may overhear and he couldn't have that. She understood where mother and Uncle and Lu Ten wouldn't. It didn't stop her from fondly calling him a Dum Dum and ruffling his hair like she did when they were small and he was bedridden and she pestered him to read one of his plays to her. She knew he practiced his Earth Kingdom everyday and that her visits were the highlight he looked forward to when her tutors allowed her the freedom.
To her credit, Hama didn't make a noise of alarm when the blanket slipped down his back and pooled around his hips as he drew it around to cover his lap instead. Just it and his small clothes were left to keep his modesty intact as she inspected the thick dark lines that criss crossed his back.
There was hesitance to her tone as she asked the big question. "Did your military do this to you?" Zuko paused in his answer, not quite sure how to say because it was both correct and also not. He wasn’t pleased with constantly having to toe the line of honesty but he didn’t feel right lying outright to them or remaining silent and unintentionally giving her the wrong impression.
"It's complicated." He decided to settle with that, his voice dropping low with his gaze. He was grateful that she didn't push and resumed her documenting.
"Does it cause you any pain?"
He shook his head slowly. "Not really." At least not in a way that escalated above tolerable. A dull ache and a residual tightness when the weather turns cold or a storm is brewing. He shivered when her cool fingers trailed over one of the lines that curved from his hip across his back and up to his shoulder where it thinned out some. His back spasmed and tightened at the odd sensation as her fingers pressed around his shoulder blades and spread across the skin like she’d found something odd in her inspection.
“What of these smaller marks?” She asked.
Zuko tensed, tilting his head to find where her gaze was set, her slender fingers poked at various spots when he made a noise of confusion. “What other marks?”
She outlined them in the little clusters they were in. His thoughts flitted back to brief flashes of older memories fogged by strong sedatives as his mother hushed him gently and whispered reassurances into his ear. Her lips were warm against his sweaty brow as he cried into her shoulder, her long dainty fingers carding through his hair to distract him from the court physicians. His throat went tight and dry as he slowly shook his head.
“I….” His voice trailed as he tried to swallow around the lump that the reminder provided. “I don’t know exactly. I was really sick as a child and the co- the doctors tried an experimental treatment. I think it involved bloodletting but I don’t remember very well.” Everything was a haze of his mother and his fear. He was so weak and nauseous with a fever running bright in his eyes and so many medicinal teas shoved towards him that made him so tired he could hardly move his limbs. They were weighed down as his mother’s arms kept him upright for the doctors to work uninterrupted.
As far as he was aware, the treatment didn’t work. He recovered on his own when he got older and his body got stronger. After the burn, he bounced back more fiercely than ever before as if to spite the world for trying to take what little life he had clung onto for years. He wasn’t going to give up without a fight just like he promised Uncle Iroh.
Hama made a few more notes, checked him over a second time with questions about general health and gave him permission to get dressed again. Zuko was relieved to put the layers back on and huddled the blanket back around his shoulders as he tucked himself onto the cot while the healer looked over the medicine and scroll. He was given a chance to relax and rest if he needed, as she flitted about the room, bringing him another sweet drink and a hot meal sometime later when his attention drifted and he started to doze off where he was huddled among the furs. His head started to nod, feeling heavy with drowsiness as his chin dropped to his chest and his arms started to sag.
The older woman regarded him with a warm smile when he’d lift his head at the slightest sound of her approach, blinking the bleariness away as his vision blurred. The dim glow of the fire danced around the darkened room, creeping along the edges of shadows that lurked near the corners like impish beings scurrying to safety. He felt a camaraderie for them and their desire to flee into the furthest reaches where flame and light were void and he could slip away for good.
“You look tired child.” She gestured at the cot and gave his shoulder a gentle touch. “You should sleep.”
Zuko could only mumble his affirmative as he nodded lazily and pawed at the cot to brush the furs aside. There was a mild discomfort as he rested against the pillow and found it lacked the faint scent of Sokka. He shifted irritably to find comfort in the absence but his cluttered thoughts eventually called for surrender as he watched the ritual dance of the fire light flickering across the ceiling. Sleep came like a cloak in the cold and drew him deeply into its welcoming folds.
Notes:
So someone asked in the earlier chapters, a few questions I wish to address now.
1) Yes, the durogatory/slur aimed at Zuko earlier by the Earth Kingdom soldiers is still accurate in this universe even without bending. Fire Nation soldiers are called Ashmakers because it became common in the early years of the war (and less common but still happens) for high ranking officers in the military to take to burning crops and farms to force the Earth Kingdom into starvation and prevent their soldiers from taking a cut from the civilians. (Similar to what has happened in many real world wars). Because of this, the 'ground units' are called Ashmakers. Zuko does not condone this at all, but Zhao did among other officers in the ranks.
2) Zuko's height in comparison to the heights of the other canon characters for this universe. Zuko is much smaller than he would be in canon because of a sickly childhood. Also, I am toying with the fact that most Fire Nation soldiers seem to be all roughly the same height so taking a note from other militaries in history, the Fire Nation has a height restriction of at least 5 foot 8 inches (must be taller than this), but the Royals are an exception to this rule*. (See Zuko and Iroh)
Sokka: 6 foot 1 inch
Zuko: 5 foot 3 in
Bato: 6 foot 3 in
Hakoda: 6 foot
Lu Ten: 5 foot 11 in
Katara: 5 foot 4 in
Gran Gran/Kanna: 5 foot 2 in
Hama: 5 foot 1 in
Iroh: 5 foot 5 in
Ozai: 6 foot
Zhao: 5 foot 10 in
Ursa: 5 foot 4 in
Azula: 5 foot 6 in
Aang: 5 foot 11 inThank you so much for all of the support in this fic so far. I'm sorry this update took longer than usual but these next few chapters are taking up all of my attention and I have to do research and work out new character povs that I'm unfamiliar with. This chapter was actually planned to have a handful more scenes but it was getting to be too long already so I cut it short and rearranged some scenes to better flow.
Chapter 13
Summary:
Hakoda and Sokka speak with the council.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The ship was unloaded by the time his dad came back to collect him to meet with the council. Most of the men had dispersed to spend some well overdue time with their loved ones, and Katara had been wrangled away from the docks to watch Kodiak and Lady Ezra’s little boy, Lukka. For a child who was born blind, he managed to find more than enough trouble to keep even his sister occupied. She scrambled after the four year old, one hand wrapped around his tiny fingers as they went to look for something tasty to eat.
His grandmother was pleased to see him, drawing him into as firm of a hug as she could muster, as Sokka returned a careful one of his own and hunched down so she could press a kiss to his cheeks. Their reunion was short lived by necessity as she led both Sokka and Hakoda to the private chamber inside the longhouse where the rest of the council plus Lady Ezra were already seated. Kodiak and Ezra were speaking softly to one another while Kaluk looked his usual grumpy self. Pana greeted him with a warm smile and Ikiaq gave them both a fond nod of greeting. Sokka was sad to hear of Nanouk’s passing over the Summer and made a mental note to extend his condolences to Kodiak later. He was a good man and Sokka remembered him fondly for the amazing stories he told and the festive cakes he’d sneak to him and Katara when their parents weren’t looking.
They settled onto the offered cushions with a tray of wooden tankards filled with warm cider to quench their thirst. Sokka accepted one gratefully after the tiresome task of hauling cargo for the last hour and let the sweet fluid coat his mouth and fill his stomach with warmth. Hakoda accepted his but didn’t take a drink just yet, fidgeting the tankard in his grasp with anticipation for the discussion to be underway.
Gran Gran was the first to speak up as was common in discussions like this with her seated at the head of the council being its longest standing member out of the group. Kaluk and Ikiaq being right behind her in that count.
“Tell us, how did you come across Private Li?” Her eyes were set on Sokka as he lowered the tankard from his lips and swallowed the last gulp thickly. His father’s gaze drifted to watch him with quiet encouragement. He wasn’t necessarily nervous about the questioning, but old childhood habits of being under all the attention of the adults usually meant he had done something wrong and he couldn’t shake that off quite as easily as he wished he could.
Setting the tankard to rest against his knee where he was seated cross legged, he started to retell the story of how they met during the ambush in the mountain pass. He explained how Li had stood his ground, prepared to fight to the death in defense of his fallen comrade even while severely outnumbered. It was his comrade who convinced him to surrender after he cut dozens of Earth Kingdom soldiers down with impressive skill and lasted blow for blow against Sokka and his club. He hadn’t badly injured or killed a single Water Tribesman, and after interrogating the other scouts, they had only been sent to target the Earth Kingdom. Sokka suspected the lack of orders against Water Tribesmen may have influenced Li’s desire to withhold seriously harming them in combat. He was oddly very literal when it came to orders and decisions.
The council listened and nodded along, his father looked surprised by the recount causing Sokka to realize this was the first detailed explanation of that fight that he had given the chief.
He punctuated the end of his story by taking a drink from the tankard and soothing the dryness of his throat. Gran Gran proceeded with her next question.
“What are your honest thoughts on Li as a person?”
Sokka snorted. “How much time do we have?” The little light hearted jab helped crack the tension in the air as a quiet laugh left Kodiak’s chest and Gran Gran gave him a tiny shake of her head. Pana was smiling but Kaluk remained grumpy and Ikiaq had as much expression change as an ice carving. Lady Ezra remained passive, with just a touch of warmth in her amber eyes. Sokka recalled how easily she could don the mask of impartial observer and was well aware of her days navigating the complicated ins and outs of nobility in the Fire Nation. It was a trick Li seemed to lack severely which felt odd when paired with their spy theory.
Hakoda took the reins as Sokka worked through what he wished to say, and gave his point of view on the man.
“From what little encounters I’ve had with the soldier, he has proven himself to be an honest and trustworthy man. He is dedicated to any task he sets his mind on, with an admirable sense of duty and a level of compassion that goes beyond the boundaries of allegiance.” He made a huff of amusement low in his throat that could have been a halfway aborted laugh as he added. “He is probably the most water tribe acting fire nation soldier I have ever met.”
“You’re just saying that because he got revenge on you by making you eat spicy food.” Sokka added the little dig, his lips spread into a grin at the fond memory of his father’s teary eyed red face after two bites. It certainly made Sokka feel better after the three days of misery he had to endure hauling an emotionless husk of a fire ferret around by the wrist.
Hakoda made an indignant noise before sagging in defeat, elaborating. “He could have gotten even with me in more unpleasant ways but he chose that particular method to settle a score.”
Gran Gran looked amused at the banter that drifted so easily between her family, her eyes alight at the familiarity she dearly missed. It was enough to ignore the fact this behavior was unfitting for the seriousness of a council meeting but she seemed unable to begrudge them of this.
Sokka chuckled. “He is very odd, I'll give you that.” He agreed. “He’s creative and unpredictable in the best way.” Sokka’s smile wavered a little as he continued. “He cares about people, no matter their nationality. He saved Katla’s life when he was washed overboard during a storm and didn’t even think twice about diving into the frigid water. When I scolded him about how stupidly reckless that was, he told me everyone else had an important job to do.”
Hakoda nodded in agreement, his own voice lowering with the weight of the words that followed them both around for days after. “He told us that the sea doesn’t discriminate in who it takes, and neither does war. That men are the ones who decide to show mercy in both.” There was a pause as his father drew in a deep breath and spoke with admiration heavy in his words. “If that doesn’t tell you what kind of man he is, then I don’t know what will.”
Sokka nodded in agreement and smiled softly. “Li worries about what others think about him. He’s apologetic and considerate, always afraid to say the wrong thing or coming off as ungrateful.”
His father added, to Sokka’s surprise. “He was afraid to ask for water for his burn because he thought it would be wasteful of our limited resources.” The warrior hadn’t heard about that but quickly pieced together that it may have happened while he was away getting medicine for the soldier. His father’s shoulders sagged a bit as he spoke remorsefully. “He’s always afraid of something.” Then amended. “Not of us, but something from his past like he’s expecting it to suddenly catch up with him. He has his secrets, that’s for sure.”
He nodded in agreement with his father. Kaluk looked displeased at that last part but Sokka didn’t take that as much to worry about. Kaluk was always displeased about something in everything. It made him wonder how the man found pleasure in anything in life. Did he have this look when eating food? Has anything ever made the man smile or was he just born grumbly and angry? That was a mental image the warrior probably shouldn’t be pondering and quickly shook it off.
Kodiak shot a considerate look at Lady Ezra but her impassive expression never changed and her eyes never strayed from watching him and his father. Pana was sympathetic to their words while Gran Gran remained stoic in the face of their report. Sokka wondered what all his grandmother was thinking about and how the meeting with Li earlier had gone. He worried, he couldn’t help it. He fretted about Li and whether the line of questioning had become too much for him or not. It was so easy to cross that line between safe topics and unsafe territory without realizing it.
“You’ve spent a lot of time with him, is there anything you have observed that might make him an asset to the tribe? Any skills of note?”
Sokka snorted. “He has a scowl that could cow a polar bear dog into submission and can ride a mean Gemsbok bull to death.” Kodiak looked like he was going to ask for the details on that story before Lady Ezra gave him a look that made him snap his mouth shut sheepishly and shoot an apologetic look at his wife.
The warrior snickered and sighed contentedly. “Joking aside though, he’s shown he’s skilled in a lot of ways but not many that could help us outside of combat. He’s a fantastic tracker and experienced in celestial navigation. He’s also shown an impressive knowledge on plants and medical training.”
His father shot him a questioning look, one brow raised. “Really?”
Sokka nodded. “Yeah, he ranted about the Earth Kingdom healer that I got the medicine from. He called the man an idiot and corrected the instructions I’d been given. He said he’s had some formal training through their military but most of it was personal experience.” Hakoda hummed thoughtfully at that.
“It makes sense.” Sokka wondered if his father was aware of Li’s sickly childhood or if he was thinking back on the roadmap of wounds that covered the soldier’s body. Both were plausible as he pondered it. “He’s also bilingual.”
“His Water Tribe is horrendous.” The warrior corrected. “It’s enough to make me want to cry and the little fire ferret had the audacity to say my Fire Nation was bad.”
Hakoda huffed out a laugh and nodded. “He did say he isn’t good at speaking it but he certainly understands it. He listens to the crew tell stories.” After his father had pointed it out during the little interrogation in his cabin, Sokka had noticed the little ways Li would react to hearing certain conversations in native water tribe, how his attention would sharpen and he’d watch the men as they worked. Before, he always assumed he was fascinated with the sailing aspect, not that he was actually listening and understanding what was being said between the crew. He had cursed himself for being so blind about it before.
Their little back and forth banter was interrupted as Gran Gran interjected the next question. It was expected but didn’t hurt any less to hear. “Given what you know about Private Li, do you think he could be a potential threat to the tribe?”
Sokka tensed. His father shared the same rigid posture as they both knew the true meaning to that question. Li, as a person, was not a threat to their tribe by any means, but the troubles he carried, the secrets he had could very much be. There was a weighty silence that stretched between them as the two men considered their words carefully.
“I don’t know.” Hakoda finally admitted. Sokka had to agree with that declaration because he couldn’t, in any way, with complete assurance, state that they were entirely safe having Li here. He knew about the ship that was hunting him down and the things Li had done. “Li is clearly running from something and he’s been hiding his real identity even from his own men. He has a lot of powerful enemies from what we have gathered, and he may have one currently hunting him. They tried to intercept Chinuk’s ship at Kyoshi island a few days ago.”
The air in the room was suffocating with tension as the elders looked to one another with a sense of dread at this fact. Lady Ezra was the only one to speak, to break the heavy silence as she inquired with all the air of a noblewoman, her voice delicate but powerful in its own way. “You have made your own assumptions, have you not?”
Hakoda nodded. “Yes, Lady Ezra.” He looked to Gran Gran for her permission which she gave a firm nod allowing him the floor. Hakoda set the tankard down by his side and reached inside his coat pocket to withdraw a familiar tattered parchment they had all been going over for the last few weeks and adding to it steadily.
“Sokka, Bato and myself have a few theories in regards to who Li really is. Nothing about his skill set and his training quite makes sense for any of them as we learn more about the soldier.” He straightened the paper and smoothed it out before laying it out between them all to see the large Earth Kingdom letters scrawled in three different people’s handwritings. The list had grown substantially longer and had a few corrections and additions.
Acrobatics ( personal interest)
Unconventional escape methods
Two years of naval service
Service in ground unit (years unknown)
Private(?) ( confirmed false )
Dual broadswords (unusual weapon choice) ( personal interest )
Nerve targeting in combat ( personal interest )
Whip scars
Paranoia
Victim
Vigil for his men
Eight years of military service
Fake name and identity
Bad liar (seriously how are you this bad?)
Sickly childhood
Expected to die young (12 years old?)
Knows Water Tribe and Earth Kingdom languages
Court Etiquette and Politics
Killed a Fire Nation Admiral
Hunted by a rogue Fire Navy Ship
Powerful Political Enemies
Tracking
Maintains secrets under influence of drugs and alcohol
Possibly endured torture training(?)
“I feel like we need to add obsession with tea to the list. Unless that’s a weirdly Fire Nation thing?” Sokka had volunteered, shooting a look to Lady Ezra with a sheepish smile. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“I can assure you, that’s not a Fire Nation quirk.” She explained, giving the list a good long look as Kodiak took it in hand and inspected the contents closer. “You say he was a Fire Nation scout?”
Hakoda and Sokka both nodded in confirmation. She frowned down at the list and shook her head.
“That can’t be right.”
“Why is that?” Kodiak asked, genuinely curious now as he tilted his head to listen intently to his wife. She pointed at the paper, noting a few details as she went.
“For starters, he’s clearly too small to serve.” She began. “The Fire Nation has a very strict rule in their military when it comes to the average height and size of their soldiers. It's mostly for the benefit of cost efficiency when it comes to mass production for armor but there are other reasons as well. Unless he has a wealthy family or some impressive connections, he would have never been accepted.” Then she pointed out several other factors. “Broadswords wouldn’t be regulation since they’re too complicated to train, and even if he was self taught, the military has a strict form about how they want their soldiers to fight as one solid force. He may have gotten away with it in the navy, but there is no chance he would as ground infantry.”
Sokka had noticed that all the Fire Nation soldiers had roughly the same fighting style and weapon choices. Li was the one that stood out in the crowd and it wasn’t just due to his small size. His style was completely different and far more natural than any other soldiers’ he’s encountered. Combat with him was like participating in a lethal dance and it had been thrilling to trade blows with the soldier.
Lady Ezra went on to explain that, after confirming the age the soldier had given them that sixteen was far too young. That even if he had enlisted, he wouldn’t have left the Fire Nation for any form of combat, and yet Hakoda had explained that Li stated his first year of service was as a ground unit which was primarily the source of Li’s discomfort when the topic was brought up, followed by two years of naval service.
“We suspect that whatever happened in that first year, may be part of the reason he was moved around so much and had taken a false name.” Hakoda explained.
Sokka shook his head. “But if that was the case, you’d think he would have left the service to get away from it. He certainly has ample excuses to leave.” He gestured absently to the left side of his own face as emphasis.
“I can’t believe they even accepted him into the military with a disability like that.” Hakoda crossed his arms over his chest.
Lady Ezra set the paper down and frowned. “They wouldn’t have.”
“Then how did he get in?” Kodiak asked, now more puzzled than before. “If everything about this man seems to go against their military regulations and codes, why was he in that battle to begin with?”
That’s a question Sokka had been wondering himself for a very long time and judging by the unhappy look on his father’s face, so was he. Sokka added his own thoughts to the group. “I can’t see him being some secret Fire Nation assassin or a spy with how bad of a liar he is. He’s too honest.”
“I can’t see him in the middle of court either.” Lady Ezra gave a small dismissive flick of her wrist. “He speaks like nobility but he lacks the finesse of court etiquette. His words are naturally fluent like a born and raised noble from Caldera but he can’t hide his emotions well and he’s much too honest. They would eat him alive.”
“Could he have been illegitimate?” Kodiak pondered aloud. Lady Ezra’s amber eyes sharpened as she looked deep in concentration. Sokka wondered if she was trying to recall ever meeting or knowing of someone like Li while she was still living in the Fire Nation. He recalled she was Caldera born and raised as well, before traveling with family where she had crossed paths with Kodiak.
“Possible.” But her tone didn’t lend any certainty to it. “But they would still need to have the means and the connections to get him into the military as he is. That’s not even including all this formal training he seems to have.” She looked back down at the paper and sighed. “Trying to find someone in the court that would even be willing to allow their child to learn Water Tribe let alone have the means to achieve it is next to impossible.”
“He learned it so he could listen to our stories.” Hakoda interjected.
The whole room went silent as they stared at him with disbelief. His father gave a quiet amused shrug. “He likes stories a lot apparently.”
Sokka chuckled, nodding in enthusiastic agreement. “You should hear him go off about plays. He has quite the opinion on the theaters of Ba Sing Se and a bone to pick with the Ember Island players.” The warrior almost missed it. The subtle twitch of alarm that made Lady Ezra’s posture go stiffer, the flash of recognition in her amber eyes like she had finally figured out an intense and frustrating puzzle, or at least some clue that would lead her to the right answer. Sokka was tempted to ask, but Kaluk voiced his own annoyance at their skewed focus.
“I care less about that Ashmaker’s identity and more about the trouble he’ll be bringing to our people.”
“Councilman Kaluk!” Kodiak reprimanded sharply at the unpleasant phrase being tossed about. His voice took a harder tone that Sokka rarely heard. It was enough to make him straighten up and turn his head at attention, reminding him of his father’s own Chiefly tone barking sharply over a rowdy crowd with the ferocity of a Snow Leopard Caribou on the warpath.
The councilman sneered his displeasure at the younger councilman’s tone and carried on unhindered. “Why did he kill a Fire Nation Admiral and why is he being hunted? Why don’t we just hand him over and save us all the trouble before the ice comes?”
“Because he did it in self defense.” Sokka challenged, his own voice rising, hard and edged with promise. It was a snap that made him look every bit the son of Hakoda, with chin raised firmly in opposition and the glint of his blue eyes hardened like ice. Gran Gran didn’t seem inclined to interrupt quite yet, observing how Kaluk will react. Sokka could feel his father’s gaze settled on him but he didn’t tear his eyes away from the councilman.
“No matter what comes next, Li is one of us whether you like it or not.” Sokka spoke firmly. “He risked his life for Katla. He hunts with us, he prays with us, he cares when he has no reason to. He didn’t owe us a damn thing, and he had every right to be angry and resentful, especially after the loss of his comrades but he never was. He bonded with the men. He has shown the utmost respect and care and he’s been honest even when it hurts him to be.”
Kaluk made to interject but Sokka cared little about cutting the man off when he opened his mouth to protest. “If I had to honestly guess why he was being hunted by his own countrymen, I’d have to say that it’s because he cares too much about other people. You didn’t see the look in his eyes the night we captured him and his men. He was prepared to die to protect someone else when fleeing would have saved his own life.”
Sokka scoffed. “I’ve rarely met a Fire Nation soldier who wouldn’t throw their own under the ostrich horse’s feet just to save their own skins and Li had as much defiance in him as La’s rage. Whatever messed up place he came from, whatever horrible things that happened to him in his life, it didn’t beat that out of him and I’m not going to turn a blind eye to that kind of loyalty and I urge you all to think hard on that.”
The council chamber was speechless as Sokka reached the end of his piece. He tilted his head when his father’s hand came to rest on his shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. The warrior looked up and was met with eyes full of pride before they turned to the council and stated boldly. “I second that.”
Gran Gran’s smile slipped past the carefully placid expression she had held for a majority of the meeting, her eyes rife with approval and admiration for the two men as they stood their ground, even against Kaluk’s sputtering. Kodiak and Lady Ezra looked pleased, as did Pana. Even Ikiaq seemed to look just a touch more contemplative.
Sokka didn’t let his firm posture slip, even as Gran Gran brought this portion of the hearing to a close. She dismissed the two men for the day while they all discussed these new pieces of information. As they were leaving, they passed Hama on the way out. She greeted them warmly as Sokka shot her a small smile. He had half a mind to ask about how Li was doing, but thought better of it as his father’s hand steered him out of the longhouse and towards their home.
“I’m proud of you, Sokka.” Hakoda declared with so much warmth and mirth in his eyes that it had the warrior turning all soft and bashful again. His chest swelled with pride and relief, worried for a minute that he may have overstepped his place in there but knowing his father was giving him his full support made the entire thing feel all the more empowering. To know he did the right thing, and he didn’t just cause an unnecessary dispute later on down the line.
“Thanks dad.” He breathed out a sigh of relief and grinned over at his father.
Notes:
I have extended Li's List of Weirdness, you're welcome. It's had a return performance.
Chapter 14
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was dark with the fire crackling low in the hearth where it’d been forgotten in the long hours since he dozed off. Zuko stared up at the ceiling, with the layers of furs and the spare blanket draped over him, securing a sense of comfortable warmth so he wasn’t too bothered by the dying light. The dark was friendlier, more familiar and pleasing to his eyes. He estimated that it was late, that maybe Hama had gone for the evening and returned to her own lodgings while he slept. With nothing to really distract him and the oppressive silence creeping in with the very obvious absence of prying eyes and an opportunity for privacy, the weeks and perhaps even months of stress had collapsed upon him rather impressively.
The grief of so many losses plagued his mind like it always did when the hour was late and his thoughts lingered to firelit vigils and the faces of those he lost over the years, accompanied by a needle sharp sense of homesickness that burrowed into his gut until the tears burned hot in his eyes and fell without any sign of stopping. It was a lethal cocktail of guilt and unkept promises that assaulted his thoughts one after another.
His men were gone and Captain Jee would be forced to deliver that grave news, on top of the news of his own loss. Would they assume him dead or pray for his lost soul until he returns home? He couldn’t imagine a candle would be burning in his honor. His father would probably prefer to assume his death was inevitable. Were it a political ransom, he would have heard from the Earth Kingdom by now. His father was probably sleeping easy at night knowing one less problem stood in his path, one less failure to look forward to seeing come home. Zuko understood the meaning behind those letters and how they never changed with their cold dismissive orders. His father wanted him gone, permanently. He kept him in the pass because it was the easiest way to stick him somewhere and forget about him while simultaneously saving face with the court and the Firelord.
Zuko wasn’t stupid. He may have failed to amount to much in his father’s eyes and he didn’t have the same education or experiences as Lu Ten or Azula, but the young prince was no fool like the court believed him to be. Ozai would be happy and Azula would take Zuko’s place as promised.
He worried about his mother in all of this. It might have been selfish to wish she was holding out hope that he was alive with a lantern burning bright in a window as she prays to Agni for his safe return, but he knew it would be a painful task to go so long without knowing. A less selfish man would hope she was greeted with the grim news of his untimely death so that she will grieve and move on instead of being weighed down with the burden of what if. It hurt so much to know the better prospect for his family was to forget about him entirely. For Azula to live her life thinking he was never coming home, and focus on her duties. For his Uncle and cousin to grieve and move on, keeping him in the back of their thoughts with the occasional prayer in the family shrine. The only evidence of his presence in those cold empty halls of the palace would be an empty urn in the shrine, an old family painting from before he was burned hung in his mother’s room, and a bedroom that belongs to the phantom of the man he used to be.
They will all move on, and Zuko will remain here and allow them to forget. Or, perhaps he could always leave and travel the Earth Kingdom under the alias of Li and perform tricks for coin or join a traveling circus like Ty Lee always encouraged. Nobody knew the true face of Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation. He was never a presence in the courts or at the fancy ridiculous parties Azula always complained about. So stiff and dull.
He worried that Jee would be in trouble for this debacle and whether he was going to be punished for losing the Prince who he was assigned to protect for all those months. He feared for Chen as well, and wondered if they understood what had happened. Where the mix up may lie. He wondered about the families of the men who were lost and whether they’ll be properly cared for or if his last wishes were being respected.
Did Azula miss him? Did she cry at the news or was she maintaining the perfect pristine visage of the Fire Princess and standing before their people with that immaculate mask of grace and ease she was so talented in donning? He hoped she sought out mother in her private moments so they would have each other through all of this.
As much as he wished to go home, he wondered what it would do to suddenly appear out of the blue. If he left now, there would still be time. He could make things right. It wouldn’t be as suspicious if he stole a boat and fled to Kyoshi island. They were a neutral territory in this war. From there, he could send a letter or hop on the first ship heading for Fire Nation waters along the trading route up the western coast of the Earth Kingdom. He might even be able to reach out to Lu Ten’s patrol if he timed it right. They were ordered to maintain the North-Western coast last he heard a few months back.
It would be better than if he stayed through the Winter and returned in the Spring. People would question, they would suspect and talk of treason or underhanded motives. The voices of the court would probably wonder if he’s gone savage. If he’s turned himself over to the Water Tribe way. The terrifying part is, he isn’t sure he would mind if he had. He already was, in a way, finding this corner of the world that he knew so little about to be enticing. A small, but cold paradise tucked so far from the war and the venomous circles of political cloaks and mysterious shadows.
He liked being around the other tribesmen. He liked the way they saw the world, the way they treated him and most of all, he really really liked Sokka. Everything about the warrior had his heart fluttering rapidly inside his chest until he couldn’t stand it. It made him short of breath and left him floundering for the right words when Sokka always seemed to know what to say. He always seemed to know what the right thing to do was. He was confident and self assured in a way that Zuko admired. He was every bit the leader that Chief Hakoda was, and he saw such a bright future ahead of the man.
Spirits! Zuko didn’t even know if those kinds of feelings would even be welcome. Not only was he a prisoner, but he was Fire Nation and also a man. He didn’t know how Sokka’s people would view it. He certainly knew how the Fire Nation saw it, which kept their feelings tucked close to their chest and their partners hidden in the eaves out of sight, out of mind. As long as an heir was presented, nobody asked questions but the court would still gossip viciously. It would be unacceptable for a Prince to partake of such things, especially with a Water Tribe savage of all people. They were the enemy and nothing more. His father would probably have them both executed on the spot if he could get away with it to avoid the shame and dishonor it would bring his family.
No, these feelings were never going to be returned and Zuko would be forced to face that painful fact for the rest of this cold harsh Winter. That almost seemed to be the worst fate of it all. An unforeseeably long season of living with a man he was falling in love with. A man who probably had better options within the boundaries of his quaint little village or some political marriage lined up with another part of the tribe.
Speaking of, Zuko wasn’t even sure how long this arrangement would even last. If there were more Fire Nation citizens among the tribesmen, then his identity probably won’t remain secret for long, and then he had an even greater fear to worry about. What more shame could he bring to his family than if they were to discover he had been taken by the Water Tribes and used as a bargaining chip against them? Or if they decided to give him over to the Earth Kingdom.
Agni strike him down. He lamented miserably. He was so screwed no matter what choice he made. If he had just fought harder, if he had killed his way out, if he had left Deirdre to his fate then maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess. If he had just….been somebody other than Zuko then maybe he could have but Zuko couldn’t inflict that kind of blind malice and cruelty. They were kind to him, they were respectful and considerate of his needs and they cared. He couldn’t just- Sokka was so-
No matter how he looked at it, he was just angry at himself and angry at his father and Zhao and everything else. He was angry at Sokka for being so Agni damn perfect and kind. He was angry at Hakoda for treating him as a part of the tribe. He was angry at his father for abandoning him to that pass and refusing to let Zuko leave and live his life floating around the coast in the navy. He was angry at his own stupid decision to go on that scouting mission and not slipping away when he had the chance. He was angry at Firelord Azulon for keeping this stupid fucking war going when it was unnecessary. He was angry at Zhao for more reasons than he could count and the man was already dead, spirits curse his wretched soul .
His rage and frustration clashed horribly with his grief as hot tears fell in streams down his face as he choked out a sob. Twisting to lie on his side so his back was towards the door and the dying light of the hearth, he buried his face in his palms and the partially soaked pillow and smothered the sounds of his breakdown. He wanted to scream until his voice was raw but that would draw unnecessary attention, so instead he wept until he had nothing left with his eyes sore and dried by the lingering heat of the room. His sleeves, the pillow and the blanket were thoroughly and uncomfortably soaked as he closed his eyes and wished for the world to just swallow him up. His head pounded and his scar ached terribly as he wished for sleep to return and keep him until Winter’s end, or for eternity. Whichever the spirits were feeling more generous for.
When it didn’t arrive, he resorted to mentally planning an emergency trip to Kyoshi island. He calculated the route the best he could in his head from the stars in the sky and what few glimpses of a map he spotted on Sokka’s desk. He recalled the crates of supplies they hauled off the ship and what all was brought on board from the last few ports and planned the supplies he would need and the rough estimation of days. He didn’t have money or a weapon, but he didn’t really need either. He supposed he could offer to work for a meal and a roof over his head, even if it meant sleeping the night in someone’s stables when he reached his destination. It kept his mind busy even if every second he spent plotting left that gnawing pit of guilt deep in his stomach, festering with a putrid hollow reminder that this was wrong.
He couldn’t imagine stealing from these people after all they’ve done for him, and no matter how many times that petty voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Azula, reminded him that they are the enemy, he still found himself trembling with avid fury that it didn’t matter and that they were still good to him. They treated him like a human being and not a burden or the useless Prince he was.
‘Because they don’t know any better. You never told them the truth.’
Those words stung like a blade across his palm because it was true. If they really knew, if Sokka found out, he wouldn’t look at Zuko the same way. His smile, his laughter, his delight when Zuko would give him attention would wilt and turn bitter and angry. He would probably turn away at Zuko’s beckon, give him the cold shoulder and never feel comfortable enough to turn his back on him for a moment. Maybe he should tell them. In the end, he might be able to get that lift to Kyoshi whether it's in chains or a free trip to somewhere far away from the tribes. He could make his way from there. He could escape captivity with more ease with Earth Kingdom soldiers than the Water Tribe warriors he felt an attachment to.
He’d certainly feel less guilty about it too.
‘That’s because you’re a monster.’
The petty voice retorted snidely.
‘You use people. You manipulate them.’
Maybe he did. He lied to his men. He lied to his family. He manipulated the court to his advantage to get Zhao out of Caldera and away from him. He lied and lied and bore every Agni forsaken sin on his body. He was a liar and a cheat and he deserved this.
‘You’re a traitor too.’
He knew that, he was well aware of his misdeeds. His Blue Spirit activities were his attempt at feeling good like he could make a difference for somebody else after the guilt of his greatest mistake had nearly eaten him alive. There was no amount of righteous acts, no amount of forgiveness or any second chance that could wash that much blood from his hands. It was his fault. All of it was his fault.
'They were your responsibility.’ The cold edge of Zhao’s voice crept in. ‘You should have known better. This is why your father never saw fit to make you his heir.’
Zuko didn’t need the reminder. He squeezed his eyes shut and slipped his palms over his ears. His hands trembled as he tried, fruitlessly, to shut out the voices that echoed inside his pounding head. He didn’t want to hear it. He didn’t need Zhao of all people lecturing him once again on his greatest failure. He saw their faces every night he closed his eyes. He heard their cries. He smelled the blood. He had failed them and their fury and their displeasure at him followed him like a storm cloud for so long. No amount of prayers to Agni would make them stop. He couldn’t forget, and so he made peace that he would never forget. He didn’t need forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it, but he would never make that same mistake again.
He would sooner take his own life than allow that to happen again. It was the one promise he will keep until he dies.
Morning came like a formidable beast and Zuko was filled with a combination of dread and relief. With the first rays of dawn, he knew he would no longer be left to the quiet assault of the voices screaming inside his head, calling him vile things and gleefully reminding him of every horrible truth that haunted him. Every attempt to silence them and to force some semblance of sleep had failed, leaving him shaking and sobbing until he had nothing left to give to the world. He was a depleted husk, emotionless and drained by the time Hama came to deliver breakfast in the form of an oat and honey mixture with dried berries and the same sweet drink he had partaken of the day prior.
He knew he must look like shit, because he certainly felt like it when Hama looked troubled as she laid eyes on him. He estimated the low light of the fire may have worsened it but then again, he was feeling pretty sluggish and numb so maybe that wasn't entirely at fault. His eyes hurt, his stomach was tight with anxiety and he was nauseous with this overwhelming guilt that he'd wound himself up in all night long. The lack of sleep wasn't helping as his head pounded relentlessly with displeasure.
When Hama set the bowl and tankard on the side table, Zuko barely even gave them a glance and turned his head away from the light as she spurred the hot bed of embers back to life.
"How are you feeling today, Li?" The sound of that name made him flinch so violently that he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He curled up into an even tighter ball on the cot and let the blankets swallow him into darkness. She seemed to take that as answer enough.
"That bad, huh?" She hummed. "Don't worry, child. You'll adjust with time. It's not so bad." He couldn't help but notice she may have had the wrong impression about what was troubling him so much and he honestly didn't care enough to correct her. He could barely find his voice around the tight ball that settled there and made even swallowing a laborious task.
She left him alone for a good portion of the morning, before coming to check on him with eyes alight with concern when he made no move to eat or drink anything. "You'll feel better once you get something into your stomach." She urged gently. He didn't budge from his spot. After five minutes of no movement from his huddle, she reached over and drew back the furs to reveal the fire light in long stretches of orange dancing across his face. Zuko recoiled with an incoherent noise of displeasure and alarm.
She took his wrist carefully and guided a different wooden cup to his hand and forced his fingers to clamp around it. "Drink." The command held little room for refusal and neither did the unamused look in her wizened eyes. The hard lines of her face deepened with the flickering shadows as he stiffly rose to sit up long enough to knock back the bitter brew she provided. It was similar to tea but also not quite and left him feeling more hollow and scraped raw as he dearly missed Uncle Iroh and the smell of ginseng brewing in a comfortable yet cramped stateroom. He missed puzzling proverbs and unsolicited life advice and boring long matches of pai sho that he was guilt tripped into playing.
He stared down at the empty cup miserably and let his shoulders sag with defeat. Hama regarded him with a sternness that made her eyes steely before reaching out to gingerly take his chin in her hand, cupping it enough to lift his head so she could get a better view of whatever had stolen her interest. She gave a noncommittal hum and turned away. Zuko's hands continued to cradle the empty cup as if it were a lifeline keeping him grounded while she moved through the peripheral of his vision as his head sank back down to stare at the greenish hue of the droplets rolling around in the bottom of the cup.
When she returned, she had a warm wet cloth in one hand and took the cup with the other. She placed the cloth in Zuko's grasp and gave his shoulder a firm push back onto the cot. He understood enough to settle the rag over his eyes and clumsily drag the furs back up to his chin as he relished this new familiar darkness like an old friend. The ache in his face lessened, the tightness of his skin around both of his eyes ebbed away and the tension that was curled in his shoulders evaporated over time. Sleep was a temptress he was both enamored with the idea of while also dreading her hidden dangers. She was a forest path leading into the unknown and Zuko was an experienced but unwitting traveler of her diverse terrain. Fate found immense amusement in his futile struggles as sleep ensnared his weary mind and pulled him into the dark badgermole hole to face the unpredictability of whether this time he will find paradise or prison.
Notes:
Sooooo yeah, Zuko isn't having a fun time. Everything is finally catching up to him and hitting him all at once.
Chapter 15
Summary:
A look at the Royal family.
Notes:
Sorry this chapter is so short. I had initially intended for it to be longer but realized attempting that would give away some little plot points I had planned for later so this is a very short chapter. After this though, we're back to Zuko.
Chapter Text
With his father’s permission, Lu Ten was able to break away from his northernmost patrol to pursue the lead on Zuko’s location. They sailed swiftly from port to port and intercepted two different water tribe ships that had, from their earlier intelligence, been together in one larger fleet accompanying the Earth Kingdom. Half a dozen ships had been gathered to assist General How in their efforts against the encroaching Fire Nation presence that they suspected was heading for Omashu. It puzzled the prince, on how exactly the Earth Kingdom had mistaken Zuko’s stationary post for the last six months for a bid towards Omashu when General Shinu and his forces were already closing in on the city from the opposite direction. The pass was an unnecessary bid for useless territory when they had a direct sea route leading closer inland for moving soldiers and supplies.
The first ship they encountered had been hugging the Earth Kingdom coast before making their way to Kyoshi Island. A neutral port that offered trade opportunities and safe harbor to passing ships. The law of neutrality prevented them from boarding the water tribe ships or starting any sort of conflict, but nothing stopped them from having friendly chat by the docks. When he had described Zuko’s most notable feature, the puckered and angry looking scar that twisted the left side of his face into a permanent scowl of displeasure, a few of the younger crewmen had looked towards their elders nervously. The elders had played it off with feigned disinterest or a firm set of their jaws in dismissal, silently assuring him that they had nothing to say to a Fire Nation soldier.
As upsetting as that was, leaving a spark of frustration simmering low in his gut, Lu Ten at least knew for certain that the men were aware of Zuko’s appearance and had at least seen him, even if he wasn’t on their own vessel. It just meant another vessel carried the prince south. He could only hope he hadn’t missed them already. They lingered in the port for two days as the storm drifted past, before making their way out to sea where they encountered the second water tribe ship near the continent.
This port wasn’t a neutral one or even a friendly one, but Lu Ten played his cards closely, docking a ways down the beach in a small cove and walking towards the town in civilian attire. He had two of his closest men at his side under the guise of being weary travelers in search of someone else. They met the tribesman that gathered in the tavern for a drink in the evening and bustled about the market.
They were much more talkative and willing to chat when drinks were passed around and Lu Ten footed the coin and joined a friendly game of cards. He joked warmly of rumours about tribesmen taking a strange Fire Nation looking man aboard their ships. He heard drunken stories of amusement as they talked of war prizes and the tendencies of their own to bring back prisoners to accompany them through the winters.
The prince was unfamiliar with the customs of the Southern Tribes, but was well aware, thanks to his father, that the Northern Tribes never took war prizes or kept prisoners. They were more likely to ship them off to the Earth Kingdom at first opportunity or execute the men that had wronged them by leaving them to the sea and it’s unerring judgement. Tales of men sinking beneath the tides with stones bound to their ankles left a cold dread seeping into Lu Ten’s bones as he thanked Agni that it was the South that had taken his little cousin. Their methods sounded far kinder if unusual and still concerning.
He just prayed to the spirits that Zuko would maintain whatever cover he had managed so far, and play along to their whims. He was good at that, not in a manipulative sense because that child couldn’t lie to save his own life. No, Zuko never had to lie or fein compassion. He was starry eyed with an innocent curiosity that burned brightly in his heart. He was smart and creative and more caring than anyone he’s ever met when allowed the opportunity. He was the best of their family, a true man of their people even if he lost his birthright early on. He was down to earth in a way that Lu Ten hoped would stay the Tribesmen’s hands and keep him safe from harm.
There was very little information he could pry from the men without alerting them to something peculiar going on, even through the haze of strong drink. When he felt he had enough, he stayed for one more game then called it quits, informing their little gathering of his departure and extending his appreciation for the time well spent.
They parted peacefully as Lu Ten walked the long distance back to their ship with his men through the dark and forest edging along the rocky slippery shoreline. The pale light of the moon danced along the waves, providing a view to admire as he mentally composed his letter back to General Iroh.
A messenger hawk was sent and their ship stayed in the cove for two more days before General Iroh returned his correspondence. Lu Ten read the letter in the peace and quiet of his stateroom and felt the hot tears of regret burning in his eyes. It was with much remorse that his father relayed these daunting words.
Come home, my son. Prince Zuko is beyond our reach for now.
A part of him knew that his father’s words were correct. He had spoken with the tribesmen. He had heard what he could from the locals in regards to the South’s habits of isolating themselves through the winters in their snowy home. Any attempts to seek them out would ensure he would never make it back before the first snowfall, trapping the ships close to shore, or force him and his crew against a harsh sea and a struggle they were neither prepared to face or trained to survive.
His father had reassured him that he had friends in the North who could send a discreet inquiry about the prince’s health and safety through the winter. It was with a heavy heart filled with grief that Lu Ten ordered his men to set a course for home. The celebrations of relief and cheer were lost to him as he shut himself away with miserable smiles, biting back the tears that stirred and the blame he harbored close to his heart. It was stoked beneath the flames of his anger towards Prince Ozai and his refusal to deliver these same orders to his own son when the efforts were only being wasted in the pass.
He knew well what the second son of the Firelord had planned. He and Iroh both knew, but there was little he could do to intervene and now Zuko was alive but so far beyond their grasp that he might as well have slipped through the veil into the spirit world.
There was one assurance in their corner though. Only he and his father were aware of Prince Zuko’s survival after the battle in the pass. Prince Ozai had already declared his son’s death and arranged the empty urn to sit in the family shrine. He wouldn’t be surprised if Zuko’s portraits, what few there were of the sickly boy or his youthful scarred face in formal military dress, had already been removed from the walls of the palace. He wondered whether his private quarters would be cleared out at the beckon of the servants or if Lady Ursa had stalled that effort in her grief over her only son.
Zuko’s miraculous return from death would cause quite the stir, but his father was already planning for that. Lu Ten just needed to keep his hopes burning and held close that he would reach his cousin and bring him home where he belongs. He prayed to the spirits to watch over him. He prayed to Agni that he would not be lost in that dark lonely place. He prayed that the Southern Tribe would see the man he was and not the nation he came from and the cruelty it has shown in this war. Zuko deserved that much at least, to no longer be drowned in the shadow of their actions and his own father’s cold expectations.
The palace was quieter than it had been in a long time. That fact didn't slip Ozai's attention as the staff seemed entirely absent from his sight. The news of Prince Zuko's death had spread quickly throughout Caldera as the people mourned a child they barely even knew existed were it not for Lady Ursa's insistence that prayers for his good health be made on the day of his birth. Father had permitted it and made it so, despite Ozai's own insistence that it was unnecessary. He was a realist, but his father had been swayed by Iroh's enthusiastic agreement as he urged for the spiritual presence of their subjects for the health of the family. It instilled this idea among the people that they maintained a traditional prayer in the Prince's name and celebrated for his health.
It infuriated Ozai as he watched the lanterns rise into the night sky for Agni's blessings as the Fire Sages spoke solemn words for Zuko as he lay broken and feverish in his private bedchambers. The weak link of his bloodline. A stain to Ozai's reputation.
Now they mourned and expected him to join in the solemn weight of such a loss. Adorned in whites and gold trimmed royal finery, they moved about the palace for days, forcing this farce further than it warranted. The fires were lit, the shrine was filled with the empty urn that Ursa had chosen fit for a worthless prince. He watched it be placed and wondered absently if he could get away with destroying it later. The smug satisfaction of the act was smothered only by the knowledge that somehow father would find out and Iroh would know, and he would face judgement for desecrating a sacred place.
He sneered silently to himself and dismissed the thought entirely. He had already achieved the success he was aiming for. Prince Zuko was finally gone. Unbeknownst to Ursa, her efforts to stir the support of the people to praise and pray for their son would now fuel the fires of war. He coaxed their hatred for the Earth Kingdom and stoked the flames into a great blaze that would brand the Water Tribes under the same damning mark. Zuko was the unknowing martyr to ensure Ozai's plan was set in motion.
He just needed to get rid of Iroh from the line of succession and father's inevitable passing will leave the Dragon Throne to him. Underneath him, the Fire Nation's true glory will be realized. The other nations will burn beneath him and he can finally be rid of all of his problems at once.
His lips curled into a cold smile as he moved, his footsteps echoing down the silent halls. The guards at every corner were still as statues as he passed. He noticed only the smallest shadows of servants scurrying to flee his path or to remain out of view like meadow voles hiding in the grass.
Princess Azula's absence was noticeable among it all as well. She appeared to attend her brother's funeral service, the usual mask of neutrality she wore was tarnished with the tears that gathered in her eyes. At least she refrained from shame by refusing to shed them where it could be seen, unlike Iroh and Lady Ursa. Perhaps he could twist this to his advantage. He could place her within his own war council and set her cold analytical fury to the test. She was sharp and had more than enough motivation to deliver a quick and merciless blow to their adversaries.
Ozai hummed in amusement at the thought. 'You finally found a use for yourself, Zuko. All it took was your death.'
Yes, this would work perfectly. He could already see it as each beautiful piece fell into place upon the board. One step after another leading him to greater victory. In due time. It won't be long now.
Chapter Text
Zuko was exhausted. Three days of staying in Hama's hut had left him feeling more strung out than before. He didn't sleep well at all, and when he did, he'd wake on the cusp of a nightmare. His voice dying on his lips and the darkened quiet of the hut greeting him with that cold reminder of just how alone he really was. After weeks of sharing a cabin with Sokka, this emptiness of staying alone in the healer's hut felt like a prison sentence. He missed the quiet splash of waves against the ship's hull and the smell of the sea air and cloying haze of tea. He desperately wanted to hear the quiet plop of a brush against the ink stone, to smell the ink itself still damp in the air as Sokka worked at his desk and Zuko did whatever it was he found to occupy his time. He ached for that fondness that was always in the tribesman's eyes when he looked at the prince, and the warm touch of his fingers against Zuko's skin. The weight of his hands trailing over his shoulders and back and the hot press of their bodies together just to fit on that cramped tiny cot.
He even missed the bad jokes, the sarcastic remarks and the way Sokka called him Li with that knowing sound to his voice that wasn't an accusation but more like their own secret joke. It felt earnest and real and he wanted it back so badly. The smell of Sokka in the sheets and the quiet snores as he slept and how he grumbled and stumbled clumsily about when he was forced to rise with the sun for whatever reason. How he thrived more when night fell and his eyes would light up with that second wind that had Zuko scrambling to keep pace with.
On the rare occasion when a nightmare had seized him as he slept through a particularly rainy afternoon that had his face aching worse than before, he woke to Hama's concerned expression looming over him. Her hand settled firmly against his shoulder to catch him before he could fall off the cot from the sheer force of throwing himself forward away from whatever horrible thing he had been fleeing from. Sokka's name had slipped from his lips before he stilled and recognized the smallness of that hand and the aged lines of the face and even the paleness of those blue eyes that was nothing like Sokka's arctic gaze.
He recoiled back and buried his face in his hands, shuddering underneath her scrutiny as he shoved off whatever fears were still holding tight to his chest.
"Does he make you feel safe, child?" Hama had asked, ever so gently as she drew away from Zuko.
"What?" He asked, confused as he lifted his head and blinked the bleariness from his eyes. He scrubbed a palm over his scar and frowned when she failed to elaborate. She just focused on the task he had disturbed her from where she ground a mixture with the pestle. "What do you mean?"
"It's a simple enough question." She stated.
Zuko was even more confused by that. "I trust him."
She hummed as if there was some secret spoken between them that Zuko didn't understand. "Trust is important." Zuko frowned, puzzled as he tried to make sense of what she was getting at before giving up prematurely compared to his usual efforts. He was still so tired and his mind was reeling with too many things to concern himself with than the cryptic comments of old women. Flopping back onto the cot, he squeezed his eyes shut and massaged the tender spots around his eyes that ached with that dull throb that followed him every time the weather turned like this.
Darkness was his best friend as he turned his head away from the firelight thrown across the walls and ceilings and buried his face back into the pillow with a pathetic groan. He could just barely catch the breathy laugh from Hama as she continued her work and ignored his existential crisis over life like it was commonplace to witness. These last few days had been strange as Zuko grew as accustomed to the healer as he often did of Uncle Iroh when they were sailing together, or when Zuko would seek him out at the palace so he could rant and rave about something stupid that one of his subordinates did or the next issue he had to handle in some portside town before they finally made it home. Or the third time he had to get refitted for armor because the equipment he was using wore out faster than it was worth in the first place, or how he cursed out the gilded gaudy set he was forced to don for ceremonial reasons that felt like an oversized target on his back that was highly impractical.
Uncle would just laugh softly, smile warmly at him and hand him a cup of tea for his parched throat amidst all his shouting and ranting before he finally paced himself to exhaustion and would fizzle out onto the nearest surface that was sittable. Whether or not it was meant to be sat on was another question, but Zuko had quickly adapted the cat like mentally of if he can fit on it, he’ll sit on it over the years.
He supposed the universe had a weird sense of humor, as that was the odd position he was in when Chief Hakoda entered the healer’s hut with a look of mild concern. Zuko was face down in the pillow, sprawled like a pygmy puma in the sun when he caught the hushed tone of the Chief addressing Hama in their native tongue.
“How’s he doing?”
Hama just chuckled and he assumed she waved him off from where she was preparing something that Zuko hadn’t been paying attention to. He tilted his head enough to catch the tail end of the motion as the Chief’s gaze flitted from her back to him. “He’s a dramatic one.”
Hakoda looked relieved by her teasing tone before snapping to attention with a friendly smile when he made eye contact with Zuko. He slipped easily into Fire Nation as he approached the cot, giving Zuko a minute to compose himself as he shoved himself up with a reluctant groan. His body really didn’t want to comply with him today, which he should have expected with the weather. Chief Hakoda’s parka was darkened on the shoulders where rain pelted and soaked strands of his hair to plaster against his face.
“How are you doing, Li?”
"Good, sir." He answered easily, settling back with his legs crossed comfortably and stretched his back in the process. It gave a reluctant pop as some parts relented at his motions while others remained stiff and stubborn.
The Chief smirked at the casual response and seemed to relax more. "Feel like some different scenery?" He asked after a moment. "The council has come to a decision."
Zuko straightened up now and hoped that the easy going mood of the Chief was a good sign for him. He was quick to nod his head in agreement and scrambled to situate himself and grab his satchel, looping it over his head with enthusiasm. The tea tins, medication and the scroll of instructions had been returned to it, along with some other medicinal mixtures Hama had added to the mix that could be applied directly to the scar tissue to help without making him feel drowsy or forcing him to rest for long periods after. Zuko was grateful that it also smelled better than the ones Sokka had got for him.
Hakoda chuckled as Zuko rose to his feet and trailed after him. The rain had settled to a tedious drizzle that only dampened the prince's coat in soft speckles. They walked through the village as it had grown considerably quieter with the weather. The children didn't race about to avoid the cold and wet while a handful of tribesmen went about their tasks in preparation for something as they moved crates and large barrels towards the longhouse.
"What's that for?" Zuko had asked, tilting his head thoughtfully at the dozen men hard at work. Hakoda had followed his line of sight and chuckled.
"Ah, yes. The last of the ships have returned. Tomorrow evening will host a feast as a celebration of the tribe's reunion before winter." He answered easily, his smile weakened a little as he continued. "It's also a chance to remember those we lost this year and send prayers and provide offerings to the spirits in their memory."
"Oh." Zuko felt his face warm in a flash of embarrassment as he turned his attention towards the muddy earth softened under his leather boots. He let the hood of his parka hide him from view as he lowered his voice. "I'm sorry for your loss."
And he meant it. He's watched the funeral pyres of too many comrades burn through the night. He felt the jagged knife of grief tearing into his heart over and over again, ripping old scars back open onto new wounds. He's felt bloody and raw by every man he failed to save under his command and blamed himself for every letter of condolence he's had to write to their families taking responsibility for their deaths.
A warm hand on his shoulder eased him out of his thoughts as Hakoda gave it a reassuring pat. "They're with the spirits now, reunited with their own loved ones before them."
It was a nice way to think about it, Zuko noted. He gave a small understanding nod as they continued through the village until they reached a particularly large house with stone reinforcement around the base and colorfully painted imagery across each stone that seemed to tell a story. At least, he thought it might be with the stick figure animals….or maybe they were people? They looked like child's drawings with a flower or sun above the scenery and a….moon? Or was that a boomerang?
Zuko was very confused by the odd murals and Hakoda noted the puzzled scrunch of his face and laughed as he craned his head to try and figure out what exactly he was looking at. "Those were Sokka's drawings when he was a child."
"Interesting."
Hakoda pulled the wooden door open for Zuko to slip through, hurrying him in where it was warm. The interior of the home was cozy and resembled a home intended for a large family. There was a large hearth in a cooking area that had Kanna standing over the cooking pot she was dutifully working at. Sokka’s sister Katara was at her back working dough under her palms with smears of wheat flour on her cheeks and clothes. Her hair was tied back in its usual Water Tribe style with only a few strands falling freely from her bangs where the braids dipped down. There was a large wooden kitchen table with chairs tucked in and a blue cloak hanging on one seat that was adjusted to face the wave of heat coming from the hearth to dry it from the rain outside.
There were rooms that were separated from the main portion of the house by thick curtains that drape down and kept him from peeking through to snoop. A wood carved and cushioned couch was against one wall between two curtained doors where Sokka was sprawled comfortably across it in a state of apparent disarray as if he’d been taking a nap in the quiet of the home. A woven wool blanket was tossed haphazardly over his midsection as one arm was tucked under his head with his face pressed against his bicep. His hair was untangled from its wolftail and framed his face in a pleasant mess.
Zuko lingered near the door as Hakoda stepped inside behind him and placed a firm hand on his shoulder to guide him to take a seat at the table and relax. He didn’t have the energy to protest and simply nodded and complied, adjusting his satchel to settle in his lap where he could fidget with it nervously. The friendly warrior had stirred from whatever nap he’d been having as he stretched until his feet hung over the arm of the couch and groaned with all the tact of a platypus bear at the first signs of spring.
His sleepy eyed gaze settled on Zuko as he smiled warmly and shoved himself upright, pausing long enough to fold the blanket up quickly and toss it over the back of the couch where it hung for the next person to utilize. His socked feet crossed the fur covered wood floors to join him at the table and plopped down across from him with a broadened grin.
“Hey buddy. How are you doing?”
“Good.” Zuko shrugged dismissively, not entirely sure what he was doing here. Hakoda had said the council made a decision but he never explained further than that. Did this mean that he was staying with Sokka? And why was Kanna here?
Sokka smirked and turned his blue eyes up to address his father, lending his attention as Hakoda and Kanna seemed to be talking quietly in the kitchen. Zuko could make out the low hum of voices but the noisy thump and smack of Katara working the dough against the table made it hard to hear what exactly was being said in their native tongue. Judging by the look in Sokka’s eyes, he could hear it and knew what was being said. He assumed it was good news as he seemed to grin wider.
Then came the much louder sound of Kanna’s voice, still in their native language as she chided the chief in an unmistakably motherly tone. “Hakoda get out of that this instant! That’s for after supper.”
“But mom,” The quiet but fond whine of the chief’s voice dragged out, drawing Zuko’s good eye to see the way the older man hunch his shoulder under the gentle swat of a ladle handle and heard the breathy laugh as those shoulders shook in amusement. Katara was watching, peering over her shoulder with a smirk of approval and a tilt to her head that said her father deserved it. “Just one. I have to meet Bato at the hall after this.”
Kanna had her hand settled on her hip, unyielding. “Are you both going to be coming back here for supper?”
“Of course.” He hummed. “This’ll be Li’s first official dinner with us. It wouldn’t be right if the whole family wasn’t present for it.”
Sokka gave Zuko’s leg a nudge under the table, drawing his attention as the prince’s cheeks turned pink with a rush of embarrassment. They were talking about him, and Kanna was Chief Hakoda’s mother which meant she was Sokka’s grandmother and somehow that made him feel even more embarrassed about the things he may have said about her grandson and son. His mind raced as he tried to recall what all he said to her, if he had shown her the utmost respect, if he had said or done anything concerning or upsetting during the hearing all those days ago.
“Supper won’t be for a few hours.” Sokka explained quietly in Fire Nation, shooting him a smirk as he asked. “Wanna come with me to get cleaned up in the steam baths?”
“Steam baths?” He asked, perplexed by what exactly that meant but after a moment, he nodded. If it meant feeling clean, then yes. Yes he would love to go wash up and put on a better change of clothes than what he’s been wearing since he left Hakoda’s ship.
Turns out, the steam baths were exactly what the name entailed. It was sort of like a sauna he supposed but the way they did it was different than how the Fire Nation did saunas. In the Fire Nation, it was a health benefit, something someone did when they were sick or elderly. Zuko had participated in a few saunas when he was older, around eleven or twelve years old, but children usually weren't allowed inside as the heat could exhaust them quickly and cause more harm than good.
Their saunas also weren’t so public or well, community oriented he should say. As Sokka explained, there were two steam baths in the Water Tribe village. One for the women which had decorative hoofed animals and birds carved into the wood that depicted them racing over a meadow of some kind. While the one for the men had murals of polar bear dogs and wolves engraved into the wood. It also had a large rack of antlers above the door that Zuko would have joked about compensating for size, until he watched Sokka undress in the public dressing room and suddenly felt self conscious about his own size.
There were no towels or garments left to hide their nudity, and their dirty clothes were to be placed in one spot and their clean clothes that they brought along in Zuko’s satchel were placed in another. The dressing room had a high ceiling at about seven feet with wooden benches and cabinets for their belongings to set. There was a large barrel of water, wooden buckets and metal basins with clean towels stacked beside them for washing. Sokka grabbed just a large bucket and filled it in the barrel, placing a ladle inside before ducking low until he was bent in half to make it into the much smaller seating area around a wooden stove. The stove itself was placed low into the ground and the floor resembled benches around it that they could sprawl comfortably across.
Sokka set the bucket of water aside and settled against the wood where he could comfortably reach the stove to fill it with more firewood. Zuko awkwardly crawled in and grimaced at the feel of the smooth damp wood against his bare skin. He felt a bit uncomfortable and so vulnerable sitting like this but Sokka didn’t seem to mind the raw nudity. His eyes didn’t stray much at all and Zuko felt less embarrassed as he fed the wood into the stove and the room started to heat up. It felt really nice for the prince. It reminded him of summers back in Caldera. Of the warmth of the humid beaches of Ember Island as the sun beat against his skin and hot sand under his feet.
“Okay so,” Sokka started as he continued his explanation from where he left off earlier after directing Zuko on the finer points of getting undressed for the steam bath. “When this pipe gets hot enough, I’ll start pouring water onto it. When that happens, you’re going to wanna be laying across the floor in the most comfortable way possible, alright?”
Zuko nodded, noting there was far more space for lying crossways or longways, than there was for sitting up or standing. This room was almost half the height of the dressing room.
“Oh and try not to breathe on yourself. The moisture in your breath might burn you.” Sokka added. “If at any point you feel like you can’t take the heat anymore, that’s alright. You can get up and head into the dressing room to cool off and drink some water.” It suddenly made sense as to why Sokka had them pack waterskins before they came in, along with the other basic toiletries of bathing. “After you’ve cooled off and the stove has cooled, we’ll come back in and wash up.”
Zuko nodded again, a curt bob of understanding even though he wasn’t entirely sure if it really made sense. He figured he would follow Sokka’s lead and figure it out as he goes if he gets confused. With that finished, Sokka scrubbed his hands together and smirked. “Alright then.”
The quiet didn’t stay quiet for long with Sokka around. The warrior was a nervous talker and filled the silence with nothing else to keep his mind and hands busy. “What do you think of the village so far?”
Zuko was trying to adjust in a way that was the least embarrassing position he could muster as the question came. He just stared at Sokka a moment, a bit caught off guard even though he probably should have expected these types of mundane questions. “Um...what little I saw of it, it seems cozy.”
This seemed to be a satisfying answer as Sokka nodded. His long hair swished into his eyes as he carded it back with his fingers and smiled appreciatively. “Hama wasn’t too rough with you, was she?”
The prince shook his head. “No. She was….” he paused, pursing his lips in thought to find the right word for how to describe her. “Peculiar but in a good way?”
“That’s good. I know with some folks, she can come off as a little intense sometimes.”
Zuko shrugged. “She was fine with me.” She reminded him of Uncle and made him feel even more homesick than he already was. “I didn’t know that your grandmother was one of the Elders.”
“Oh, yeah. Gran Gran runs the tribe when my dad is away.” He smirked at the odd look Zuko made at the moniker for Sokka’s grandmother and chuckled. “I heard you gave the elders a gift of tea.”
The prince’s face turned bright red and it wasn’t from the heat that was steadily climbing in the room as Sokka fed more wood inside of the frame. It was getting hard to breathe but Zuko didn’t really mind it too much. It took a minute to adjust to as he turned his gaze down and pressed his knees closer together. “In my country, it's important to show respect-”
“To foreign dignitaries.” Sokka finished. “Dad told me about it. Don’t worry, it made a very good impression.” The warrior added with a grin. “You’re the first war prize our village has taken that has given a gift to the people who have taken them from their homeland. It was definitely worthy of attention.”
He fidgeted under that knowledge and felt that same old raw ache of conflict clawing its way inside his chest. That feeling that he was betraying his country and his family. The plan he had carefully considered before, of fleeing with a stolen boat and heading to Kyoshi’s safe shores had never felt so vile and unpleasant before. He wrung his fingers together anxiously, picking the dried skin around his nails where he’d already chewed the tips to nubs from stress these last few days. He was uncertain whether or not this would all be worth it in the end. How much heartbreak and pain will happen because of him? Because he failed to slip away when it would be bloodless and with less guilt.
The stove started to shudder and rattle in the floor, startling him out of his thoughts with a jerk of alarm. Sokka held a hand up and placated Zuko’s wide eyed stare as he pointed at the floor. “Go on. Lay down now.”
He was hesitant at first before nodding in agreement as his good eye trailed the red metal of the pipe from the base of the stove all the way up to the ceiling where it spewed smoke above the rooftop. Lying on his back felt the most comfortable for him to settle into as he stared up at the ceiling. He tilted his head to spy Sokka lying sideways as his much larger frame managed to get comfortable on the narrow flat of space. One hand was free to ladle water across the pipe where it turned into steam and filled the whole room.
The steam gave the impression of his airways suddenly opening up with a breath of fresh warm air. The humidity clung to his skin as he started to sweat just a little. Sokka tucked his arms above his head like he was going to place them underneath before stopping just above the crown of his skull. His tan skin had a slight reddish flush to it that gave him an odd yet attractive ruddy glow.
Zuko’s own pale skin looked pink and flushed all over but lacked any real appeal. He felt like a ripe moon peach except he lacked the typical peach fuzz and doubted there was anything sweet tasting or really enticing about him. Sokka on the other hand…..well, Zuko had spent the last three days with the warrior on his mind nearly every moment as he pondered how it would feel to see him again. How he missed the feel of Sokka’s arms hugging him and the line of strong muscles pressed against his body on a stupidly small cot and the feel of warm palms tracing his shoulder blades as he spoke softly into the crown of his hair as if Zuko were the only thing in the world that mattered in that moment. That didn’t necessarily help him now, as those thoughts danced around his head and antagonized the already fragile resolve he was holding onto and trying to avoid getting a hard on in a fucking sauna next to the unfairly attractive warrior that stole him from his homeland and stole his heart at the same time.
Another wash of water hit the pipe with a noisy hush that billowed plumes of steam all around the room. The heat steadily crept higher in the room but Zuko had never felt more comfortable or in his element in a long time. For the first time in months he was finally warm. Warm in a very Caldera way that the Earth Kingdom painfully lacked. Warm in a way that hot baths and hot springs could barely scratch the surface of achieving and even then it was all too brief. He had the feeling the hardest decision he’ll make down here is deciding when the right time to leave the steam bath will be.
He stretched out with a pleased groan and felt drowsy relief after spending the last several days curled up shivering under heaps of furs and woven blankets. He vaguely heard a soft snort of amusement from Sokka as another splash of water gifted them with more steam.
“Don’t fall asleep on me over there.” He teased. Zuko may have been tempted, just a touch but he was aware of the dangers of over exposure to extreme heat. He lived on a volcanic island after all with a record of the hottest summers in the world.
He hummed noncommittally and curled his toes and arched his back with a satisfying pop, sprawled like a lazy pygmy puma in the sun. Slipping his eyes closed, he was just starting to feel the sweat beading on his skin when Sokka looked like he was beginning to shift uncomfortably.
“You good over there?” Sokka asked after several more minutes and another ladle full of water.
Zuko purred. “Perfect.”
Sokka chuckled, a low throaty sound that sent jolts of excitement through Zuko’s body as he imagined hearing that far closer than the stifling distance they were seated at. He wanted to cross the gap and show Sokka just how appreciative he was of this and the warrior himself but he knew the rules. He could look but he couldn’t touch, even if he wanted Sokka so fucking badly it hurt some nights.
He listened to the steady rise and fall of Sokka's breathing as it came a little faster than it was earlier. Zuko wondered if the heat was starting to reach its limits for the tribesman and peeked out at him with his good eye. The warrior was certainly sweating away in his corner as he dished out another ladle. His cheeks were bright red making his blue eyes all the more noticeable in the dim fire glow that danced from the slatted front of the stove. The flames lurched and rolled inside as they greedily consumed the fuel within. Sokka had stopped feeding it a little bit ago so Zuko suspected it would begin to cool down soon.
Zuko was starting to sweat a bit more, resembling something close to Sokka's level of heat as droplets poured off of his brow and gathered on his skin, leaving sticky trails between his back and the wood. He shifted a little to try and get comfortable and noted that Sokka was holding out, even when his eyes would occasionally stray towards the door. Was he waiting for Zuko to ask to leave first?
The prince felt he could last a little longer, but was sympathetic to the warrior's growing discomfort and fidgeting. Zuko's gaze flickered to the doorway, letting his eyes linger there a moment before he glanced back and noted the hopeful look in the tribesman's eyes. Conceding for Sokka's sake, Zuko stretched out one last time then sat up and gestured for the door.
Sokka was quick to follow him once he finished doing whatever it was he was doing, and carried the bucket out with him. They settled easily onto the benches in the cooler dressing room. The sudden wave of colder air hit him in the face and Zuko had a rush of dizziness slam into him and threaten to sweep him off his feet. It took everything he had to safely crash land onto the bench and get his bearings. Judging by the deep exhale and slow steps of the warrior behind him, Sokka had been struck with the same feeling only he was better accustomed as he settled onto the bench across from Zuko and reached up to gather their water skins. He handed one to the prince and kept one for himself as he took small sips.
He made a very pointed effort to keep his eyes above Sokka's waist line, particularly focused on his eyes the most and the way his hair fell into sweaty locks plastered to his cheeks and forehead. Zuko's own hair had never really left its haphazard braid so he reached up now and untangled the ribbon from its place and let it fall softly over his eyes. He swore Sokka's eyes sparked with interest but he couldn't tell really whether it was genuine or heat related hallucinations.
When they drank enough water and had cooled down suitably, Sokka directed Zuko to fill a basin with water, take a rag and gather the small bottle of oil and the shaving of soap off the larger bar before heading back inside. He had a similar set up in his arms as he nudged the prince forward with a hand on his upper back. "Come on Li."
The stove had cooled quite a bit allowing for them to comfortably wash now and the dry heat in the air made needing to towel dry unnecessary as they scrubbed the accumulated sweat from their skin. Washing their hair was a little harder in the shallow basins but Zuko made it work, especially since he didn't have to worry about spills or splashing a mess everywhere. Oddly enough, he had never felt cleaner once they finished and returned to the cool dressing room to pull their clothes on and tie their hair back once again.
Sokka was wrangling his quickly drying locks up into his wolftail as Zuko tied his up into a quick and easy loose braid. He wore his red scout uniform out of ease and brought the cloak they had purchased prior along to shelter himself from the rain as he tugged his satchel in place on his shoulder and waited for Sokka to lead them back to his home.
The warrior was grinning, his face a glow from the lingering heat and an odd patterning of pigments on his skin. Zuko felt he shared a similar look, only his body was far more pink and red in bursts of color that weren't hidden by the long sleeves and high neck of his scout uniform. The cloak was warm and comfortably heavy on his shoulders as Sokka's firm hand rested against his upper back and steered him through the village. Breathing in the crisp evening air and the lingering nip of rain made him dizzy with this surreal sensation like he were walking through a dream. A dream he wished would never end as he was tucked affectionately against the warrior's side until they breached the threshold of his home. The smell of fresh baked bread and a warm hearty stew reaching its point of perfection filled him with an ache of nostalgia he couldn't quite place. It felt like coming home even though his home had never felt this warm and full of life before.
With Kanna in the kitchen and Katara setting the table. He could hear warm laughter from Hakoda somewhere else in the home and Bato's distinct voice teasing and muffled behind a curtain. Sokka's hand never left his back as they shuffled in and the warrior announced their return like it was second nature, and the family emerged to greet him in a way that felt right and earnest, and like he was always meant to fit right here by Sokka's side.
The burn of tears in his eyes was dispelled quickly with rapid blinks as he allowed himself to be guided to a seat at the table at Kanna's beckoning, and they all gathered energetically for a hot homemade meal.
Notes:
The steambaths was inspired by inuit steambaths which are traditionally done for bathing in winter to clean the body much more thoroughly than a normal bath and to conserve water when its availability is limited due to the ice and snow.
Thank you all for the wonderful comments I've recieved so far on this fic and the amazing support. It keeps me inspired to keep cranking out content. Thank you!!
Chapter 17
Summary:
Zuko gets to officially meet Sokka's family.
Notes:
I'm gonna focusing on this fic a bit more so expect more frequent updates as we finally get the ball rolling a bit more. I have so many plans and I'm excited to get them down on paper.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was strange to be sitting around such a lively dinner table like this. To feel as if he was part of something important and meaningful. His own family rarely gathered for large meals like this, and what few times they did, it was quiet and uncomfortable as they sat in ominous silence. When he was a child, Zuko recalled how he felt sitting in his bedchamber with his mother seated by his side and a meal tray resting on his bedside table between all the bottles and vials of medicine the healers had left out. Most times he ate by himself with only the servants to check on him. Sometimes his mother would sit with him and card her fingers through his hair, drawing the sweaty bangs back as he focused all of his energy on lifting the spoon of soup to his lips. On rare occasions they would eat together, when father was away or busy with meetings. During those times, Azula would join them and they would all sit around the small table in his bedroom and mother would read them one of the theater scrolls Lu Ten had brought from the Earth Kingdom.
Those times were so incredibly rare though and Zuko missed those warm moments that almost felt like a real family should. When he sailed with Uncle and Lu Ten, they had taken their meals together but Zuko had always felt more like an observer in those moments. He could never truly enjoy the fond energy between the two men, and how they tried repeatedly to subtly pull him into their secret jokes and reserved smiles. Lu Ten tried the hardest but Zuko was still fighting through the phantom webs that ensnared him after his first year, and his mind was not where it was supposed to be.
In the years after, he spent months slipping in and out of mess halls, tents and sneaking around bonfires under the false disguise of Private Li, and joined his men for quiet meals. Their energy was lively and rowdy, but Zuko could never shake that feeling like he was sitting on the sidelines and watching from a distance. There were so many good memories shared but it never felt like this. It never felt as honest as how Katara told the story of how her and Sokka would go penguin sledding as children and the advanced art of getting the right penguins to come to you.
Kanna had explained at the start of their meal how Zuko would be staying with them from now on. He was Sokka’s responsibility and she was the one managing his case, which made her his handler of sorts. He was going to live here in this hut with them for the rest of the winter. With her, Sokka and Katara. Zuko had been confused at Hakoda’s absence but the Chief chuckled and assured him he had recently moved in with Bato at his hut.
“I’d been planning to do it for sometime now.” He smiled warmly at Zuko as Bato’s arm looped casually around the Chief’s shoulders with that same comfortable ease that he interrupted back on the ship. Bato’s fingers were gently toying with the decorative armband on Hakoda’s bicep that appeared to be a piece of traditional Water Tribe jewelry. It was intricately woven and made of leather with small beading made of bone. His thumb smoothed over the row of beads back and forth as Hakoda eased into the touch.
Zuko’s cheeks flushed as the realization dawned on him. Their overly friendly behavior when together, the comfortable crowding they did to one another and all the brief touches. It was a lot like how he and Sokka were with one another, only neither man had admitted it openly. It made that nagging heat curl inside his stomach at the thought that maybe Sokka’s tribe was far more open minded than he anticipated. Perhaps they really did have a chance, at least a small opportunity in a sea of unknown. There was of course other factors that worried him, things he couldn’t control but maybe someday….
As if noticing the brief glances Zuko was directing at Sokka now, and the small sheepish smile he shared when their eyes met, and the warrior returned it with more heat and confidence in his eyes, Kanna cleared her throat to interject.
“I should probably also point out that any intimate acts between a charge and their caretaker are prohibited until the Spring festival.” This was news to Zuko as much as it was a reminder to Sokka whose face turned the brightest shade of red as he sputtered.
“Gran Gran!” Sokka groaned and buried his face in his hands as Hakoda and Bato chuckled in amusement.
“I don’t want to hear any lip from either of you.” She called, turning her wizened eyes on her son and Bato as she added. “Save some room for Tui and La you two!” She swatted at Hakoda’s arm and smacked Bato’s hand off of his shoulder and gave the larger warriors an unimpressed look. Bato shrank back into his seat and lowered his head looking like a scruffed cub.
“Yes ma’am.” Bato grunted apologetically.
“Mom!” Hakoda groaned, but withered under her stern look. Katara snickered as all of the men in the room had been thoroughly put in their place by the eldest member of the group. Kanna turned her gaze back on Zuko as he shifted awkwardly in his seat and shared a flustered apologetic smile. She eyed him a moment, pinning him under her scrutiny before gesturing at his empty bowl.
“Would you like some more, Li?” He straightened up at the question and nodded in affirmation.
“Yes please, ma’am.”
“Please, call me Gran Gran.” She urged as she rose to ladle more of the thick meaty stew into his bowl. Katara passed the basket of bread towards him offering him another piece of the fresh warm loaf she had been dutifully working all afternoon. He gratefully accepted it with a nod.
“Thank you.”
Sokka smirked as he got his third helping of stew and reached for the bread from Katara’s other side when she set the basket down. “At this rate, Gran Gran will have you fattened up in no time.” Katara jerked the basket out of Sokka’s reach and smirked at her brother with a teasing gleam in her eyes.
“Katara!” Sokka whined, reaching back for the basket once more before she drew it further away and shoved a hand against his chest as he twisted in his seat to lean over his sister. “Come on!”
“What do you say?” Katara goaded.
“Please?” She rolled her eyes and hovered it just out of Sokka’s reach, eying him with one raised brow. Sokka huffed. “Please may I have another piece of bread oh legendary bread maker of the South?” The heavy sarcasm was laced through his words with a twist of dramatic flair as he pawed at the wooden basket.
She clicked her tongue and considered the request before conceding to let him have his piece. “Fine. You are permitted.” Sokka snagged two slices and shoved one piece in his mouth quickly before shoving the other into his stew so she couldn’t swipe one back.
Kanna let out a quiet laugh of amusement as she watched her family with fondness in her old eyes and Zuko was painfully reminded of Uncle Iroh once more. He stared down at his stew as he teased the spoon around to help it cool and disperse the hot tendrils of steam that curled up around his knuckles. The bread was soft and fluffy and tasted better than any he’s had in years. It had a touch of sweetness to the crispy crust that Katara had explained earlier at his surprise upon the first bite, that she put a little bit of honey in the dough and brushed it over the top again before baking.
“We get a lot of our honey from Kyoshi Island.” Katara started to explain. “Kodiak-” She paused and turned her attention to Sokka and Kanna as she asked. “Has Li met Kodiak or Lady Ezra yet?”
Sokka nodded, speaking around his mouthful of bread. “Yeah, they were part of the council hearing.”
Kanna added. “Kodiak is filling his father’s seat on a temporary basis until we can find someone to replace Nanouk.”
Katara frowned at that and nodded. “I forgot about that.” Then replaced the frown with another casual smile to continue what she was saying. “Kodiak takes regular trips up to Kyoshi Island for trade during the Spring and Summer. We trade furs and meat with them for honey and jams.”
“I see.” Zuko waited until he had swallowed his bite of stew, letting the warm chunks of soft vegetables slide over his tongue as he chewed and relished the heat that nestled in his stomach.
The woman let her gaze flicker to where Sokka was scooping large spoonfuls of stew into his mouth with little care for any form of etiquette, causing a small shake of Hakoda’s head as he judged his son’s manners, or lack thereof right now. Zuko smirked, already accustomed to Sokka’s bouts of laziness in how he portrayed himself in front of others. It had a sort of awkward charm to it and besides, Zuko was used to being surrounded by soldiers with even less manners than this. Belching competitions and using their own hands as napkins to be later licked off was a common and oftentimes disgusting display. He considered himself rather desensitized to it by now.
In that sickly sweet tone that set an alarm bell off in Zuko’s mind that warned that Sokka’s little sister was up to something, she began. Sokka’s head cocked to the side, noticing the same warning signs that she was about to say something he was probably going to regret. “When we were kids, Kodiak took us there one Summer to help them rebuild after a storm destroyed their docks and damaged the main village. Sokka spent most of the time running around in a pretty dress and fighting with fans with the female warriors.”
Sokka’s jaw dropped as he sputtered. “It is a ceremonial uniform for esteemed warriors.” He corrected hastily, turning bright eyes on his sister. Despite the confidence of his words, his face still turned a soft shade of pink as she goaded.
“Oh yeah? And what about all that makeup? You got pretty good at putting it on in a pinch.” She teased.
Sokka reared as if slapped by his sister, his voice straining a little in outrage and shock as it went up a tick in volume. “It’s war paint!”
“Uh huh.” Katara was skeptical, then turned an eye on Zuko as she smirked. “Maybe you should show Li this ‘war paint’ and ‘ceremonial uniform’ of yours and let him decide. What do you think, Li? Would you like to see Sokka dressed as a Kyoshi Warrior?”
Zuko was a bit surprised to be put on the spot like this and stilled at the question. “Uh….um…” He stared and furrowed his brow in confusion as he asked. “Aren’t all of the Kyoshi Warriors strictly women?” He had to ask, because he didn’t know all that much about their culture but he had heard plenty of stories. They were a fiercely protective sisterhood of female warriors that were ruthless in battle and had defended their island home from invaders in the past for centuries. Before this war had happened, he had heard about an Earth Kingdom fleet they wiped out from a nearby landmass as Chin the Conqueror attempted to take them by surprise. The island itself was strategically impressive for defending a point in the trade routes with the high cliffs and the limited access to inland that forced any invaders into a bottleneck.
It was neutral territory now and Zuko was relieved by that, but he had studied it’s layout on a map during his years of naval service and was in awe of their presence and decision to remain neutral.
“Listen!” Sokka groaned. “I was sixteen and trying to flirt and shit happened.”
“ Language .” Kanna chided.
Sokka’s head stooped at the scolding tone. “Sorry Gran Gran.”
Hakoda snorted in amusement as Bato grinned around the rim of his tankard and watched them all banter back and forth.
“Anyway, Suki let me participate in their warrior training one Summer and it was honestly a really cool experience.” Sokka waved his hand flippantly and turned an eye on Zuko with a spark of curiosity. “Speaking of training, how did you learn to use broadswords Li? You’re the first Fire Nation soldier I’ve met that uses them.”
Zuko stiffened at the question, nearly dropping his spoon from his grasp as he startled. “Oh, uh.” He shifted awkwardly under the table’s gaze as they all tuned into the answer for this question. They looked curious more than anything, just idle chatter, but the worried look in Hakoda’s eyes reminded him that his every move was still being watched. The subtle motions, the tiniest shifts in his tone, both he and Sokka were intimately aware of the signs and they were watching with the utmost care. He didn’t know whether that should be a comfort to him or not.
“My Uncle’s old pai sho friend is a Master Swordsman.” He answered with a small shrug. “I wanted to learn and Master Piandao taught me. He teaches a lot of kids every year, but not many take up the dual dao.”
“I can imagine why.” Bato hummed. “It would be hard enough learning to wield one sword, but to have the dexterity for two would be very complicated. Especially for a child to master.”
“It came as easy as dancing.” Zuko answered smoothly, almost wistful. Then, realizing what he just said, his face turned bright red as he dropped his gaze to stare at his bowl and the dwindling stew that cooled beneath his spoon. “I mean, it's an art. Like dancing is.”
He didn't miss the little grin Sokka was directing at him or the mirthful glow of Hakoda's and Bato's eyes as they watched Zuko with fondness. He drew in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh, but when no teasing followed, he relaxed and let the heat of his face cool as he fiddled with the spoon.
"It's nice." He started, toying with the handle between his fingers as he lifted his gaze to find Sokka's bright blue eyes boring into him with interest. "When I'm fighting with them, it feels kind of like a performance in a way. Takes the fear out of combat as weird as that may sound."
Sokka stroked a hand along his jaw thoughtfully before nodding. "I get it."
"You do?" Katara blurted, watching her brother with skepticism.
Sokka nodded. "You can just lose yourself in it and let your body make the choices without overthinking. It's fluid and natural, like dancing. Like letting a song take over your limbs and fill you to the brink until you're ready to burst as it possesses you and teaches you the steps you already know deep in your bones."
It was poetic and beautiful and so entirely true as Zuko nodded quickly in agreement. "Yes, that is exactly it!" He blurted, a broad grin spreading his features as Sokka returned the look with a smoldering heat that seemed to imply something more. Like those words had another meaning meant just for Zuko.
The bashful glance Zuko shot back only made his hands and his heart ache for Sokka even more, but the quiet and very pointed clearing of Kanna's throat reminded them of their audience and the very real consequences of such a daring hope.
Sokka rolled his eyes and sighed. "Yes, we know Gran Gran."
"Save some room for Tui and La." She reminded pointedly.
Bato snorted in amusement as Sokka sank into his chair giving off the impression that the large burly warrior wanted nothing more than to disappear in his seat on the spot.
Zuko was apparently staying in Hakoda's old bedroom before he moved all of his things over to Bato's family hut where the second in command was currently living alone. The wolfbat and Gemsbok bull furs were already dressing the bed, and Sokka had placed his sea chest at the end tucked against the foot of the wooden frame. There was a desk for writing and a small shelf for various little trinkets and miscellaneous items. His tea tins and the medication were sitting on the shelf in easy reach, with his now empty satchel hanging on the small coat rack next to his cloak.
It felt nice to finally have his own space, even if the privacy was offered by the thin veil of a curtain in the doorway. It was something that was his to retreat to when he needed it.
After dinner, he had offered to help wash the dishes and clean up the table which Katara had gratefully accepted allowing Kanna to rest in her seat a little longer to have a chat with her son and grandson. They switched back to their native language which Zuko could pick up a good two thirds of what was being said. The accents were much thicker here, and he wasn't used to the dialect quite yet and there were some words he didn't really recognize to know whether they were places, names of people or objects he had never heard of.
When the dishes were done, and the candles had been snuffed out around the home, Bato and Hakoda had taken their leave and Zuko was feeling the bone deep exhaustion after a large filling warm meal and the long steam bath with Sokka. He could barely keep his eyes open long enough to shuffle through the curtains to the room and undress enough to be comfortable under the furs and blankets.
Sleep came swiftly and Zuko surrendered to it without a care in the world. His rest was dreamless as he huddled under the furs with a soft sigh.
There was an odd younger man with strange blue arrow tattoos sitting in the living room. He didn't look like any tribesman Zuko had seen, or any Fire Nation villager either, but he looked surprisingly comfortable and at home in the hut. Zuko blinked the bleariness away from his eyes and scrubbed his palm against his left eye to massage the stiffness out of the muscles in his face as the man sat calmly with a furry little thing in his lap. He was dressed in soft orange and yellow garments that draped around his body with a funny sash and style that Zuko vaguely recalled but couldn't place where he'd seen it before. Perhaps in a play? But that didn't sound right now that he squinted at the man with puzzlement. If there was one thing Zuko never forgot, it was the details of each play. So perhaps he saw it somewhere else. Possibly around Uncle?
He was too tired to play this puzzle game with himself as he trudged into the living room and noted the distinct absence of all of the household occupants. It was just him and the strange man, and Zuko suddenly wondered if he might just be sleeping still.
The little furry thing started to move and Zuko was now suddenly very interested as the animal lifted its head with large green eyes peering up at him. Big bushy ears twitched as it chirped in greeting. Its fur was short and looked incredibly soft to touch, and Zuko has never seen anything like it before. Not even in pictures on the scrolls Lu Ten had brought him from the Ba Sing Se zoo years ago that showed artistic renderings of all their animals and gave numerous facts on each. He had marveled at it for hours every day and dreamed of seeing such fantastic creatures in person while lying in his sickbed. Joining the military had offered him a chance to see some of these animals but after facing a rampaging Boar-q-pine after a dare to pet it's spiny little baby, he had quickly learned to keep his distance.
"Good morning Hotman!" The stranger cheerfully greeted him, surprisingly fluent in Fire Nation with a natural flow to the form of his words, but Zuko's feeling of being impressed halted at the use of Hotman. He pulled a face at how odd that was to hear.
"Hotman?" He asked, trying the word on his tongue and grimacing at how awkward it felt.
"A traditional Fire Nation greeting." The man explained, then frowned thoughtfully at him with worry pinching his brows. "I said it right, didn't I?"
Zuko was dumbfounded by this question. "I- what? I've never heard that used before."
"Oh!" He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly and smiled. "It might be a bit outdated. Monk Gyatso did say it was an old greeting."
"Monk Gyatso?" Zuko asked, thinking for a minute before it clicked. "Wait-" He stared at the arrow tattoos and the odd clothing. "Are you- are you an air nomad?"
"Yup!" The man grinned, sitting proudly. "I'm from the Southern Air Temple." He greeted, rising from his seat as the animal was ushered over to rest on the cushion of the sofa. "My name is Aang." He gave a formal Fire Nation bow and gestured to the animal. "And this is Momo, my flying lemur."
Zuko returned the formal bow politely. "You can call me Li."
“It’s nice to meet you Li.” Aang chimed. Zuko grunted in agreement and felt suddenly awkward at the limited reaction. He shifted awkwardly but Aang didn’t appear at all bothered as the prince searched for something to talk about or focus his attention on.
“So, Momo is a flying lemur.” He started, cringing inwardly at just how lame that sounded, but it was too late now so he pushed through. “I’ve never seen one before. Are they rare?”
Aang pondered this question with full seriousness as he nodded. “Sort of, I guess. They’re like the sky bisons and have always been companions of the monks at the Air Temples. They might have been more common elsewhere but that was a long time ago.” He reached down to give Momo’s head an affectionate scratch.
Zuko’s eyes went wide in surprise. “Wait, you have sky bisons?”
“Yeah!” Aang grinned widely, a knowing look gleaming in his grey eyes that told of mischief. Zuko wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not, but before long, the peppy man had reached for his wrist with an excited tug. “Would you like to meet one?”
He didn’t even wait for Zuko’s answer, which he supposed it would be obvious that of fucking course he wants to meet a real live sky bison. Zuko allowed himself to be dragged out of the hut, but not before a hasty retreat to put his boots and, now clean dry parka, back on before being hauled along through the nippy crisp morning air through the village. Zuko had the nagging sense he should probably inform Sokka of what he was doing, but the warrior was nowhere to be seen and he guessed this was one of those instances of asking forgiveness later, because there was no way he was missing an opportunity to see a sky bison. He didn’t even know those still existed outside of spirit tales and one or two Earth Kingdom plays he’d heard snippets of about Air Nomads traveling near Gaoling and Omashu a long time ago when they were settlements and not yet cities of booming trade.
The bison was resting not far from Sokka's family hut and he was massive. He was bigger than Zuko could have ever imagined and looked so impossibly fluffy. Aang gave him a gentle shove towards the animal as he encouraged him to give him a pet. The bison, which Aang explained was his best friend Appa, lowed in greeting.
"Hello there Appa." He gave an awkward little wave. "Li here. Would it be alright if I pet you?" He offered a hand to the animal to sniff, not really sure if bisons needed to be scent oriented the way shirshu and komodo rhinos did, but he wasn't going to take any chances. Appa bumped his hand against his shiny damp nose and nudged it up along his snout. A burst of hot air escaped the bison's muzzle as he displayed his giant blunt teeth with a rumble of affection.
"Oh."
Aang chuckled and gave Zuko a gentle nudge along Appa's side so he could really bury his hands into the thick layers of his fur. "Appa likes you."
Zuko let his fingers sink into the thick layers, past the coarse weather beaten water proof exterior, it was incredibly soft and fluffy closer to the bison's warm skin. He had to work his hands into it, but once he did, he was wrist deep and soon smashing his face into it and leaning his weight into Appa's shoulder.
"How can something be this warm and soft?" Zuko bemoaned and snuggled closer. He absently heard Momo chattering as Aang let out an amused laugh but made no move to interrupt. Appa seemed content at being petted by Zuko in heavy slow swipes back and forth as he relished the downy fluff and was fascinated by all the layers and how they served the bison through harsh climates. He was like a giant cloud.
Sokka had been dragged away by Gran Gran to help with preparations for the celebration tonight, and Katara was left to keep an eye on Li. But when he finally got a reprieve from moving heavy wooden tables and hauling crates around until his muscles ached and sweat dampened his brow, he spied Katara orchestrating the meal prep with the other women and Kodiak. The older man was taking notes on their inventory when Sokka popped in and stole Katara away for a brief chat in their native tongue.
"Is Li awake yet?"
"I don't know. Last I saw him he was sleeping heavier than you." She answered dismissively, which was a fair assessment. Sokka doubted by the rough way the soldier looked, that he had slept all that well in the healer's hut. He suspected being in an unfamiliar place might have kept him on edge, and after a warm meal and an exhausting busy day, he had crashed harder than the rest of them.
As if just noticing Sokka's worried look, Katara waved it off. "Aang volunteered to stay and wait for him."
'Ah.' Sokka supposed the cheerful nomad would be bursting with anticipation to meet their newest addition to the tribe this year. He was a little ball of pure sunshine in this gloomy cold corner of the world that it felt surreal being around such a chipper kid. Even all these years later, he never lost that enthusiastic optimism. It must be a monk thing, surely.
He glanced up at the sun and noted it was nearing noon and if Li wasn't up yet, Sokka was determined to drag him out of bed even if it was just long enough to force him to eat lunch. He can go back to sleep after, if he was in that dire need for it.
Heading away from the longhouse, he caught the tendrils of peels of familiar laughter on the wind that picked up through the village. As he neared his home, he spied Appa's large body sprawled out in the warm sun with Aang seated on a bundle of hay haphazardly tied with twine. His attention was fixed on whatever the bison was currently pinning down as he cheered in delight.
Curiously, Sokka came closer, the nagging sense of worry crawling up his spine to know Aang was out here and not inside with Li. He spotted the blue fabric of a parka in time for Appa to drag a slimy wet tongue across the face of one bashful soldier as he lifted his arms protectively in front of himself.
The resigned whine came loud enough for Sokka to hear as he quickly approached. "Appa! Noooo!" Li groaned in his native tongue, flicking slobber off his hands and wiping it back into the bison's fur with a pout as he started to wiggle his way out from the gentle hold between the bison's giant paws.
"You asked for it, Li." Aang reminded with mirth in his eyes as the soldier finally scrambled back enough to sit on his butt with his legs still half under Appa's fluffy chest. His hands scruffed around the bison's muzzle and sank his fingers into the shorter fur around its face.
"Not specifically." Li grumbled.
"Getting kisses from an air bison is supposed to be a blessing of good fortune." Aang chipped in jovially. "Appa is bestowing good things upon you."
Sokka was amused to see the thoughtful tilt of Li's head as he seemed to consider that thought. His good eye dragged away from Appa to twist around and spot the tribesman now standing beside Aang. He offered a sheepish smile and turned bright red in embarrassment.
"Um…." Li started, fumbling through Fire Nation as he tried to find an answer like a scolded child caught doing something they're not supposed to. "I- er uh…..Aang asked me if I wanted to meet Appa."
"That's alright, buddy." Sokka assured, reaching up to spread his hand through the bison's fur as well. "Sorry I wasn't there when you woke up. Did you sleep well?"
Li nodded his confirmation, punctuating it with a quiet, raspy. "Yeah." It took a bit of effort for him to push himself up to his feet once he freed his legs from Appa and dusted himself off. Sokka chuckled at the way Li's hair stuck out in a disheveled mess pulled free from his haphazard braid and reached out to smooth it down.
"You should probably get cleaned up a bit." He teased gently. Li paused in the process of lifting his hand to scrub at his face when he noticed the dirt on his palms and nodded in agreement.
"Hey Aang." Sokka turned to find the nomad still seated comfortably on the hay bundle. He hummed in answer and watched the two with interested grey eyes observing their interactions closely. "Mind helping Katara with the meal prep? Gran Gran mentioned something about those special fruit pies Gyatso showed her how to make."
Aang leapt to his feet in a flurry of graceful movement, as bright eyed and bushy tailed as Momo was perched on his shoulder. "Sure thing Sokka."
Once alone, Sokka settled a hand on the soldier's back and steered him towards the house so he could clean up. It was nothing a bucket of warm water and a wash rag couldn't fix, and while Li was doing that, Sokka made them both some lunch with the leftover bread the night before, a plate of dried seal meat and some Kyoshi island jams on the side.
Without his parka which would need to be cleaned again thanks to Appa, Li settled down with his damp hair properly tied back into a hasty ponytail. He was wearing the red scout outfit with it's long sleeves and padded leather to keep him warm in the night. Sokka had admired the craftsmanship of it before and the sleek style that gave off this air of mystery. He remembered spotting Li that first night as he moved so quietly through the forest with all the stealth and grace of a practiced predator. He was like liquid melding into the shadows with so much fluid ease that his fellow scout lacked, that Sokka almost mistook him for a spirit or a shadow playing tricks on his mind.
He only noticed him by the way those golden eyes burned in the dark when the moonlight hit just right. It chilled and thrilled him right to his core, and he couldn't tear himself away from the soldier.
Even now, those strangely golden eyes, like fire in a quiet smoldering hearth, were mesmerizing to lose himself in. Li was a force made otherworldly and Sokka was enraptured in everything this man could do. He was enamored and awestruck and there wasn't a single thing that could sway him away from that burning gaze. The creeping flush on the other man's cheeks when he'd catch Sokka watching him only encouraged him to observe and adore him further. His smiles would always grow at the sheepish little ones Li would return, bashful and awkward but just as engaging. He was so natural with combat but these human moments when their eyes would meet and Li would grow flustered and start stumbling clumsily over himself and his words, that was the true honey atop the cake. Sokka wanted all of it, every part of Li, every awkward attempt at politeness that made him shy and unsteady as he scrambled to show respect. Every sarcastic easy remark and snappy bit of attitude. Every touch starved practical excuse to cuddle in a cramped cot because, as he declared himself, Sokka made the best pillow and the warrior couldn't say no to the sleepy eyed desperation for affection and human contact that Li ached for so badly it would nearly bring the man to tears in his lowest moments.
Li looked content, seated across from him as they shared the meal together with the comfortable ease that they shared on the ship. It was nice, being able to just have this moment alone together. As much as he loved his family, Sokka found a sharp edge of jealousy skirting the fringes of his mind when the soldier would give his attention to the others. When he listened so intently to Katara’s embarrassing stories about him or the shy bow of his head when Gran Gran would chide them or admonish them for one thing or another.
He smiled warmly when Li’s gaze would meet his. “What did you think of Aang?” He asked, breaking the quiet of their company.
Li swallowed his mouthful of bread slathered in jam before speaking, always so polite and well mannered even when it wasn’t necessary. It only made Sokka more amused.
“I have never met a nomad like him before.” He explained. “Singing nomads once but never one from the Air Temples.”
Sokka let out a laugh at that. “Wait, there are singing nomads?” He blurted the question out at that. “Oh boy, Aang would probably love to meet them.”
“Yeah.” Li sighed, giving a shake of his head. “They stumbled into our camp one night after getting lost and stayed until morning. It was….nice. The men were glad for the musical reprieve and actually joined in on a few of the songs.” He wrinkled his nose in that judgmental way like he had opinions on it. “I never want to hear Secret Tunnel ever again.”
Sokka huffed out a laugh. “It’s not that bad, was it?”
“ Six different versions of it at varying degrees of drunkenness.” Li groaned. “If I had to listen to it one more time, I don’t think Medic Murei would have begrudged me a mercy kill for my misery.”
But then came the wistful sigh that filled Li’s eyes with mirth as he recalled the whole event. He leaned forward, cupping his chin in his palm as he leaned on his elbow against the table and continued. “I will admit, it was nice seeing the men find a moment of happiness so far from home. The months had been dragging on so long and our supplies were growing scarce. The morale boost those nomads gave them was something I never could do and I am grateful for that.”
Sokka didn’t miss the little hints in Li’s words, the phrasing that told him, now that he was looking for it and more aware, that he was of a much higher rank than he led any of them to believe. In truth, Sokka didn’t really mind or care, because he was too busy smiling at the soft look in Li’s eyes and the way he clearly cared for his people and for a leader, there was nothing more important than a man who would do anything to see his own happy.
“It sounds like they were a lot of fun.” Sokka hummed, toying with a piece of seal jerky between his fingers. “Your men were lucky to have someone like you watching out for them, Li.”
There was a brief flash of worry in the soldier’s eyes, that coiled reaction below the surface of a man afraid or just recognizing what he had slipped up on. Gold eyes searched Sokka’s face for any sign of trouble, wary and guarded now as he straightened up a little, drawing away from the relaxed posture. Sokka kept his face relaxed and that smile never faded, hoping Li would see his sincerity and let that guard fall once more. This wasn’t an interrogation or a hearing. Sokka wasn’t going to hold those words against him, not here or now. Those things didn’t matter to Sokka, because he got to see the real Li. The true Li, that was more than some rank and false name. A Li that loved his people and had so much care and compassion for others, who was bashful and shy and respectful. A Li that clearly cared about what others think of him and doesn’t think twice about saving lives or letting what would essentially be total strangers into a military camp just to see his men happy with a bit of music. Even if he had opinions on their music taste in general.
“You mentioned dancing before.” Sokka opted to steer the conversation away, hoping to extend the olive branch and coax the tension out of the soldier as he continued. “Is that another special interest of yours?”
“Uh…” Li relaxed a fraction and turned his attention back to the half eaten bread on his plate with the small smears of jam dripping off the sides. The fire in the hearth crackled at their backs, keeping the home warm. The soldier’s face warmed with embarrassment as he focused on the slice of bread for a thoughtful moment. “Yeah. Sort of.”
“Sort of?” Sokka raised a brow at that. “Does the Fire Nation have any special dances?”
“Traditionally, yes.” Li answered quickly, his head rising to meet Sokka’s quizzical gaze now. Something seemed to catch and pull him away from his earlier self consciousness. A hard edge to his voice ringing now as he explained. “But Firelord Azulon made a decree a few years ago that prohibited most styles of Fire Nation dance, and any kind of forms outside of our nation. Any dance style that was similar to or inspired by the cultures outside of our own was deemed impure and unworthy of knowing.”
He gave a small dismissive shrug at that. “I personally disagree with that declaration, and so did my Uncle and cousin. Dancing is a form of artistic expression, just like theater and calligraphy. It's powerful and pure to the individual, untainted by restrictions or expectations. It’s freedom and to tell an entire people that they no longer have that freedom because its ‘impure’ is wrong.”
“I’m going to assume that you know more than a few dance styles then?” Sokka teased gently. Li bowed his head again in that timid way he did when things got personal but in a good way and he wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. It was cute and Sokka never got tired of it as he watched the soft blush spread across the soldier’s face as he nodded.
“Just a few.” He answered. “My cousin taught me one that was common in the ballrooms of Ba Sing Se years ago. My Uncle used to champion the dancefloors of Caldera with his display of the Phoenix Flight back in his youth. I’m afraid age may have stolen his ability to perform such a complex move but I still have fond memories of him showing me and my little sister.”
Sokka hummed pleasantly, trying to imagine Li dancing as smoothly and elegantly as he fights like they do on the continent. It was very different from how traditional dances are done in the tribes, as the music consumes them with a spiritual energy flowing through every limb, or the group dances that were much more simple in their steps and repetitive, making the participants high with giddy excitement and the silliness of it all. He was excited to see how Li would fare among all of that high energy this evening at the celebration feast welcoming their warriors home for the winter.
“Your Uncle sounds like an interesting man the more I hear about him. As does your cousin.” He answered, his smile spreading at the fondness in Li’s eyes as they burned with that familiar yearning that always came in the shadows of mention of his family. How the tightness of his body or the strain around his scar would relax just a touch as his gaze would grow distant and pleasant with positive thoughts or far off memories.
“They are.” Li agreed.
Zuko spent most of the day following Sokka around the village as they helped with little things in preparation of the celebration. Sometimes they were dragged into helping haul heavy tables around or move large barrels full of a lightly alcoholic cider that smelled familiar. He stared at it when they finally set it down and huffed in surprise.
“Wait, is this the same stuff Hama was giving me to drink?”
Sokka snorted. “Uh, this one might be a bit stronger than the stuff Hama was giving you but yeah. Why?”
“I knew there was something weird about it.” Zuko sighed, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to admit that he was a bit of a lightweight when it came to booze, but at least more than a few things made sense since they arrived here.
“Is that a bad thing or?” Sokka asked, brows furrowed in confusion now but Zuko gave a dismissive wave of his hand.
“No, it's fine. I just didn’t know what it was.” He paused then added, just to reassure the man he wasn’t upset about it. “It tasted good.”
“There are a few islands between here and Kyoshi that have taken to growing apples and trade frequently with us.” Sokka raised his arms above his head and stretched, eliciting more than a few comfortable pops from his back and shoulders. In the short sleeved tunic, it was easy to see the way his biceps flexed under the warm late afternoon sun. Zuko couldn’t help the way his eyes traced the curve of his arms and the length of his shoulders before flickering back up to meet those eyes alight with a knowing look. He was starting to slip up, he realized, if Sokka was catching him staring so often. It was hard not to stare, and after spending those days away from the warrior, stuck in Hama’s hut, he couldn’t help but miss the comfortable companionship they shared on the ship away from all the eyes of the village and Sokka’s family.
The stares didn’t last long when one of the women asked for their assistance with a problem. The problem, Zuko realized, felt very much like a trap as Sokka stared at the absolute mess that had been scattered in one of the little shops near the heart of the village. At least, he thought it was a shop but he wasn’t very certain if there was a form of official currency among the Water Tribes, or if it was entirely one of trade. Regardless, there was a mess as baskets were scattered about and thousands of tiny glass beads were mixed up and the elderly woman who’s sight apparently wasn’t what it used to be had requested Sokka’s help since all the others were so terribly busy with the celebration and she needed the help.
Her apologies were met with quiet smiles and calm assurances that they will handle it. Settling down at a table, Sokka arranged the appropriate baskets and dumped all of the beads into a larger one that he had set in the center of the table. Pooling all of the beads together, they started to meticulously sort them out into each smaller basket for later use.
“I figure some of the kids may have accidentally spilled them at some point and tried to hide it.” Sokka admitted to Zuko as the elderly tribeswoman walked away to check on something she was in the middle of doing. The work was tedious but easy to do and its not like they had anything better to do right now. Sokka seemed content to relax now after the last two hours of hard labor around the village. He fit just right in all the chaos as people sought him out and he would gratefully accept their urgent and often mundane tasks. It was so simple and genuine, and so different from anything Zuko was accustomed to.
There were so many different types of beads of various colors, shapes and sizes. Sokka seemed to recognize the correct placement of each cluster to how the woman normally liked it and directed Zuko as to where to put his collections of sorted piles as he picked through the bigger box.
“What are these for?” He asked, curious now.
Sokka held up a bright blue bead and smirked. “They’re for decoration. Akna makes many for special celebrations like these.” He held up a wine red bead and then a polished turquoise one, eyeing Zuko thoughtfully as he considered him for a long moment. “They can make jewelry or be braided into your hair.”
He lifted a soft amber colored bead and stared. “Wait, she makes these?”
“Yeah. People on the continent enjoy trading them with us when we’re traveling. Each of us usually keeps a handful in pouches when we head out into towns. Some of the Earth Kingdom citizens have been known to accept them instead of coin as trade for other supplies.” Sokka chuckled. “Which I’m not complaining.”
“They are very pretty.” Zuko admitted. And if he was being honest, he wouldn’t have minded that sort of trade, but then again he was the sentimental type and only he could find value in something like this while his father and sister would probably mock how impractical it would be. It was special and unique, something crafted through hard work and skill. He appreciated the humble craftsmen more than his father and grandfather ever really did. A taste he may have inherited from Uncle Iroh or his mother. The simplicity of life often held cherished moments of happiness unbeknownst to the blind nobility that surrounded them.
He didn’t need silver or gold to find pleasure in something so delicate. He rolled one of the beads around in his palm before dumping the piece into the basket along with its brethren and continued meticulously sorting and sifting through the mess. With the two of them hard at work, he could easily fall into the mindless process as time quickly slipped them by.
Akna had joined them towards the end, her withered hands trembling as she carefully threaded some of the beads onto leather cords with the utmost concentration and showed Zuko a set of freshly made and recently cooled indigo beads she had been working on while they were busy. Some of the beads had patterns or swirls of colors in them, while others were plain and less shiny with a texture on the outside that was pleasing to trace his thumb across. Some were perfect little ovals or circles, while others were oddly shaped and bizarre. He could tell what ones were meant for styling in their hair and which were primarily for jewelry, and sorted them accordingly. Occasionally Sokka would make a quiet correction and direct them to a different basket, explaining the hole size, shape or color designation.
He understood now why Akna needed a set of sharper eyes to assist her. She didn’t speak any sort of Fire Nation, or at least hadn’t considered speaking it to Zuko. She would use their native Water Tribe and Sokka would answer, even when she was trying to address Zuko as she showed him the vibrant new set of beads with that fond smile that crinkled her old grey blue eyes. Her accent was thicker than Zuko was accustomed to hearing and became deep and raspy with age, turning her words brittle to make sense of. His confusion must have been obvious on his face as Sokka translated.
“Akna wants to know if you’d like some for yourself.”
“Oh.” Zuko was startled by that offer. “I- I couldn’t. I have nothing to give in return.”
“She wants to thank you for your help, no compensation necessary.” Sokka smiled gently, and offered a teasing warning. “She is very stubborn about showing her appreciation.”
“I-” Zuko paused, and turned to face Akna’s awaiting eyes as she watched him. He didn’t know if she would understand him or not, but he hoped the meaning would come across as he placed a palm over his heart and bowed his head respectfully. “I would be honored to accept this, ma’am.”
Sokka translated his words, smooth and polite. Akna’s smile grew as she rose from her seat to find additional leather cording as Sokka smirked approvingly towards him. “She likes you.”
Zuko’s face heated up at that, before he dipped his attention back towards the beads and resumed sorting. The smile that danced on his own lips didn’t fade, even as he was quickly running out of beads in his pile to sort. Eventually he would have to lift his gaze and meet Sokka’s knowing glances to find more beads to sort, even when Akna came back with the appropriate cord and measured it for Zuko’s size.
Notes:
Gran Gran's "Save some room for Tui and La" is the equivalent of "Save some room for Jesus" and she imposes that on all unmarried couples, especially the young and reckless kinds. *looks pointedly at Sokka and Zuko*
The armband that Bato is toying with on Hakoda's arm is the male equivalent of the betrothal necklaces the Northern Tribes (and the Southern Tribes later adopted) use for marriage. The women have necklaces and the men have armbands they wear that prove they're already spoken for. They're primarily made out of leather but are based on the kinds typically made of various types of metal but given the cold climates, it wouldn't be a very smart choice for obvious reasons.
The types of beads that Akna make are based on Baltic glass beads that the Vikings often traded for and used to decorate garments, make jewelry or as a unique form of currency with other clans or settlements. Sometimes they were just as useful or valuable as any other form of currency. They're made of chunks of glass that are heated in the embers of a fire and molded using special metal tools that can add swirls of other colors in when multiple pieces of glass are joined, or can be left pure in one solid color. The art of making glass beads is really beautiful and delicate work, and the end results are gorgeous.
Thank you so much for following along and sticking with the story so far. I hadn't expected this to become so popular so quickly, or get nearly the amount of attention it does when the impulse to start writing it late one night struck. You guys are so great and amazing, I love all of your feedback and comments, and it means the world to me and keeps me motivated to keep chipping away. Thank you all so much again!
Chapter 18
Summary:
Time for the celebration!
Chapter Text
The weight of the beaded necklace resting against his chest was both alien and comforting for him to toy between his fingers with the assorted beads he had plucked out for his own. He had two of the indigo beads on either side of a larger triangular turquoise one that felt more like a textured stone and resembled an arrow head not shaped quite right. It was smoothed at the corners so as not to hurt but rough and pleasant to run his thumb over. Blue glass beads with flecks of amber or red beads with little black obsidian spots broke up the cool blue tones and the bone white pieces he placed in between each colored set. At the ends were two beads that looked like green jade that made him think of Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten. He didn’t fill the cord to full, just kept it symmetrical and took a few sets to even it out and make the weight something he could toy with and sort the beads up and down the length when the urge to fidget came about.
Sokka and Akna had offered to let him pick out more but he was content with what he had and let them rest outside of his uniform. When they finished their work, the celebration was soon to begin as Sokka ushered them out of the shop and headed back to the main house to get changed into something more comfortable for the coming night. Zuko wasn’t entirely sure whether he should change but he did end up putting his cloak on and trailed Sokka back towards the longhouse at the sound of a bell being rung to beckon the people in.
It was lively, to put it simply. There were children racing all over the village with colorful ribbons in hand that danced behind them and music and small bonfires lit outside where large casks of stronger alcohol was set up and a larger central fire was being built. Warriors were swapping stories and the women were leading the elderly inside where a cornucopia of delightful smells were wafting through the large heavy double doors, and made his stomach growl noisily in anticipation.
There was so much food everywhere. A community stew pot and tankards filled with cider and the soft smell of smoked meats and fresh bread. Aang was carrying a tray of colorful fruit pies to one of the tables with Katara at his side with gooey looking cakes that reminded him of the red bean buns from the Earth Kingdom.
Kanna was tucked against Hakoda's side as he hung an affectionate arm around his mother's shoulders while they talked amicably with some other tribesmen from the village. There was laughter and cheers. Inuk and Katla were bickering over the pai sho board Kela had set up in one corner. The older man snickered and elbowed Tonuk gently in the side to clue him into whatever joke had been shared. Tonuk rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.
Kodiak was wandering about with a small toddler balancing on his shoulders. His dark hair braided neatly back like his father's with little glass beads woven into it like the ones Akna had shown them earlier today. Peels of delight left the boy's chest as Kodiak's hands that gripped the boy with so much care gave him a squeeze and seemed to be tickling him. He clung to Kodiak's head a little tighter but the sheer joy on the child's face was priceless as his mouth hung open in a fit of giggles and squirming.
"Uh oh, here comes Mama!" He heard Kodiak blurt in water tribe to the boy whose head perked up with a tilt as if listening for his mother's approach instead of searching the crowd for her face. Lady Ezra held her arms out in greeting as she placed a delicate kiss on her husband's lips then raised her amber eyes to find her child and pull him down into her arms.
"Mama!" The boy cheered in the tribal tongue, cautiously snaking his arms around the woman's neck as she peppered him with kisses.
"Hello my little dragonfly." She cooed back in Fire Nation.
Zuko tore his eyes away, feeling the pinpricks of tears starting to creep up in his eyes as he was reminded of his own mother, so far away and grieving for a missing son. He blinked them away before they could come and drew in a shaky breath to scan the rest of the room. He drifted between the tables as people stopped to greet Sokka, grasping at the warrior's shoulders or forearm in a water tribe greeting or tugging at his tunic with its sleek blue fabric and the indigo sash that stylishly tied around the waist. The sleeves were short and stopped close to his shoulders with an open deep V front. A bone beaded collar was fixed around his throat like a type of choker, fit snug in a way that made Zuko want to reach up and press his lips against the curve of his throat. To trace it down to the bones and pull the whole piece away and pepper his own affections across the warrior's skin where only the choker could hide it.
The tight fitted black trousers accentuated the curve of his hips as he stood with confidence amidst his people. The seal skin boots were high up his calves and Zuko allowed himself to linger just far enough back from Sokka to admire the shape of his physique made all the more appealing by the outfit. It was certainly festive and Zuko could appreciate the ease in which Sokka seemed to posture himself. As well as the intoxicating energy he radiated when all the eyes in the room fell on him.
'Does he know the way he looks right now?' Zuko couldn't help but wonder. To question whether Sokka understood what this was certainly doing to the prince as he admired it all from a distance and waited patiently for the men to finish discussing whatever it was that seemed so important. He tuned in briefly and noted that the important topic that stopped Sokka in his tracks like this, was a story about some fishing trip and something about Turtle seal migrations.
Zuko effectively tuned the conversation back out and resumed the hungry eyes he was directing at the warrior. He only startled a little bit when Lady Ezra's voice came by his side, causing him to jerk suddenly in alarm. He turned to face her, cheeks burning hot with embarrassment as she directed that all too motherly look of 'I know what you're doing' that hit too close to home for the prince.
The little boy from earlier was held firmly in her arms as he snacked on one of the sticky buns Katara had brought to the table earlier. There was a gooey mess on his fingers and Zuko could just smell the tooth aching sweetness of it from here. But that wasn't what caught his attention the most. The little boy looked very much like his father, with the dark skin and same long black hair with a similar texture. But the shape of his eyes and his face looked every bit like his mother once he looked past the expected baby fat that made his cheeks so pudgy. His eyes were a pale gold that looked almost ghostly and his gaze was focused on nothing in particular at all.
'He's blind.' Zuko realized belatedly.
"It's a pleasure to see you again Li." She greeted in Fire Nation, with the usual air of polite ease that felt closer to Caldera than he's been in a very long time.
He nodded awkwardly in agreement. "It's nice to see you again, Lady Ezra." He returned. "May I inquire who this young man is?"
She smiled warmly and adjusted her hold on the boy to ensure it was secure. "This is my son, Lukka." Her voice turned sugary sweet in that parental way that always came when speaking to small children. "Lukka sweetie, can you say hello to Li?"
The boy was clearly still learning his Fire Nation as he stumbled through a greeting. "It is nice to meet you Li."
"It's an honor to meet you too, Lukka." Zuko agreed with his own warmth, reminded of Azula when she was so impossibly small and still learning her words. How she toddled around him, stumbling across the bed and kicking her legs in helpless flails as she called out to him, her fumbled attempts to say his name still singing in his ears.
'Zuzu! Zuzu! Zuu-kyah!'
The thought warmed him even with such pleasant memories so far away now, buried behind the walls of a home that'll never feel quite like it again.
"How has the village been treating you?" Lady Ezra's words broke through his thoughts when he began to drift. He straightened up and let his hand fidget with the beaded necklace that rested against his chest as he toyed thoughtfully.
"Good." He answered. "It's been a busy day so far."
"I can imagine." She hummed. "It's always a cause for celebration here when families reunite."
He nodded in agreement and let his eyes track Sokka's figure in the crowd as the men started to disperse and his blue eyes were searching as well. They lit up when they fell on Zuko as he started to make his way towards them.
"He's a good man." Lady Ezra added before swerving away from Zuko with a graceful twirl that had Lukka making a not so quiet squeal of joy. The prince caught the quiet cooes as the woman talked about finding Kodiak so the boy could rub his sticky fingers all over his father's hair. The thought made Zuko chuckle as Sokka finally elbowed his way through the cluster of people to make it to his side.
"Sorry about that." Sokka apologized as he settled a hand on Zuko's shoulder and started to steer him through the rowdy masses. "Shall we find our seats and get something to eat?"
"Yes please." Zuko agreed with an enthusiasm that had Sokka laughing lightly. The seats they found were next to Aang and Katara, and sidled up on the long benches. Further down the row Hakoda and Bato were chatting energetically, with Bato's hearty laughter ringing loudly over the din of rambunctious villagers. There were trays full of so much food being passed around as Sokka explained some of the less recognizable ones to him.
Turtle seal soup with roasted chunks of smoked fish was a common one that he found himself actually enjoying. There was seal jerky, roasted buffalo yak on a spit, various smoked fish, sea prunes, cooked vegetables and fruit pies, sticky buns and fresh breads, buffalo yak milk cheeses and spiced apples. There was so much to try and Zuko feared he would run out of space before he got the chance.
For the things Zuko wasn't familiar with or all that certain of, Sokka offered to split with him so it wouldn't go to waste if he didn't like it. The act in and of itself was rather intimate for Fire Nation standards, but eight years in the military with low rations and questionable food options, he got really used to the sharing aspect. It often made him wonder whether or not many of his normal behaviors would be frowned upon back in Caldera, acting like a common peasant or savage instead of the upstanding nobility and blood of a royal he was. He has spent too long fretting over where his and his men's next meals will come from to tolerate such wastefulness.
Once the feasting portion of the celebration was underway and everyone had begun to fill their stomachs with good food and warm drink, Hakoda rose at the head table and let his voice boom throughout the room, a water tribe word Zuko didn't understand but everyone else had. It quieted quickly as all eyes fell on the Chief with anticipation for his speech.
"It fills me with so much joy to see our tribe together again for another winter." His eyes scanned the room thoughtfully, a bittersweet smile on his lips as he continued. "Some faces have left us this year, and new faces have joined us." He regarded the sparse few babies with their mothers quietly cradled in their arms, then turned his eyes towards Zuko's seat beside Sokka.
"As is tradition for our tribes, Li has joined us for this long winter. He fought courageously against Sokka and shared quite a few adventures with us on our way home." There were more than a few knowing chuckles that stirred in the crowd as Hakoda smiled, broad and earnest. "May he have many more with us in his days to come. Welcome to our tribe, Li."
There was a collective greeting from the rest of the room as the sudden urge to hide behind the warrior stirred up his spine. His face burned hot as he shrank back in his seat and bobbed his head in awkward acknowledgement. His gaze caught Tonuk and Kela's grins and spotted Katla's grateful eyes directed towards him. A few others were watching him with various expressions he couldn't quite decipher but none of them felt unwelcoming at all. Sokka's arm snaked around his shoulders in solidarity and tucked him close to his side in that protective way that always felt a touch territorial and just as comforting to the prince, and he let himself sag against the warrior's sturdy frame.
Hakoda went on to address a few more things, discussing news about the war, talks of their victories and took a moment of silence as they prayed for the departed who had left them that year. Hama led them in a chant that Sokka quietly explained after, was a traditional prayer to the spirits, and before long the rowdy energy resumed as the people started to drift out of the longhouse towards the stronger drinks and the bonfires and music outside.
Sokka took him by the hand and led him through the crowded doorways towards the large bonfires and gestured at the men with traditional drums and various other instruments of flutes and pipes, chanting and singing as people danced in a large circle around the fire. Their steps take them back and forth around the flickering flames. There were carved log benches arranged in various places for additional seating and empty barrels tipped up as perches for the drummers to relax on as they played. Children laughed and raced around between the adults or joined the smaller circles safely away from the large fires with ribbons linking their hands as they giggled and squealed with laughter. Kodiak was among one of the groups as he carried Lukka on his hip and swayed back and forth to the beat of the drums with his son in his arms, dancing and chanting along. Lukka's little arms swayed above his head as he tried to sing with his father but most of the noises sounded more like howls. It didn't stop the beaming smile on the older man's face as he encouraged the boy's attempts.
Katara and Aang were together, swaying to their own beat standing in the shadows on the edges of one of the fires. Inuk and Katla had appeared with the wild little group of small children that Zuko recalled tackling them on the docks when they first arrived. They chased them around in playful games of tag that raced around the longhouse where lanterns and torches lit the dirt paths between.
Sokka had tried to convince Zuko to join him in a dance around the fire, but Zuko had shaken his head self consciously and opted to take a seat instead and watch. There was a flicker of disappointment in the tribesman's eyes before it was replaced with a mischievous spark as he found a place before the prince to dance around the roaring pyre of flames that cast Sokka's long shadow across his lap. Zuko was enamored at the way he moved along to the drums and rhythmic chanting, slotting easily amidst his fellow warriors as they gathered near the fire and joined his side. They circled the flames, with quick elaborate footwork that felt exaggerated but energetic with wide gesticulating arm movements.
Sokka let out a loud whoop and called in his native tongue, joining the chorus of his fellow tribesmen. Gooseflesh spread along Zuko's skin as all the hair on his arms and neck stood on end, a burst of excitement coiling tight in his stomach as pleasant shadows accentuated the arch and curve of Sokka's body weaving and shuffling through the familiar motions that possessed him. The dance was wild and instinctive more than anything Zuko had ever seen before, and it was beautiful in its rawness. In the emotions it imbued the dancers with, the power it poured into them, the rightness that came so naturally. It looked electric and exhilarating, and Zuko was somewhat intimidated about participating. He didn't know how to orchestrate himself in something like this, and he felt all the more nervous about it even if part of him ached to join Sokka. The other part, the more rational and anxious part, had resolved that it was safer and more comfortable to remain on the sidelines where he had the perfect spot to rake his eyes along the warrior and observe the way he moved. For educational purposes clearly.
It was purely educational, a learning opportunity for future participation. A totally guilt free and shameless display of intense observation.
The longer he watched the fire, the more the flickering flames danced across his face as shifting shadows morphed and grew. They rolled upwards towards the night sky and pulled his eyes towards the splash of stars that gleamed above them. The pale light of a moon beamed through the scattered and scant cloud coverage that slowly drifted across the infinite blackness. Zuko watched the tiny embers dance upwards as the wood crackled and the howls and cries of the performers echoed in the night through the ringing music that thundered loudly in his ears.
The smell of smoke and the quick elaborate movements, the roar of motion and so many people and sounds all around him had his chest tightening in that primal panic that dragged him back to the shadows, away from so many others. His breath came in shorter bursts as the rolling waves of heat crept around his face and the tight ache was rekindled in the familiar pull along the left side of his skull. He rose to his feet, feeling a wave of nauseating dizziness hit him as he slipped easily away from the fire and line of observers that had crowded so close to him when he wasn't paying attention. He wove his way through the clamor of people, the smell of sweet cider and honeyed drinks clashing with the sour bite of sweat and the woodsy smoke of so many campfires.
He mumbled apologies when his shoulder bumped one of the men from the ship. A hand extended to steady him but Zuko was already pulling out of their grasp and drawing away, further from the crowd, away from all the people and the joy he didn't feel right joining in on. Of the pleasant smiles and excitement and the sense of community he ached for so badly but couldn't let himself sink into because everything they knew of him, everything he was, was a bald face lie and he hated it. And he hated himself.
His breath came quicker as his footsteps took him around the longhouse where the darkness was thicker, only interrupted occasionally by the sparse lanterns that illuminated the darkest corners. There were various seats left strategically placed for people to rest on and find peace away from the central celebrations. He spotted a few of the younger tribesmen and women scurrying away in the dark for candlelit strolls, their hands clasped together with an honest affection made visible for all to see.
There was a lone bench on the shaded side of the longhouse still looking out over the village. If he squinted his good eye, the lanterns lit throughout could almost make it to the docks they came in on. But the fire light didn't make it that far and the dark obscured the endless expanse of sea beyond the hills and rocky shores. The stars were sharper in contrast without the competition against the light of flames for his eye to catch and snag at each constellation and position. These stars were different from the ones he watched in Caldera, but he found more than a few familiar friends from his naval days when his ship came far enough south to catch them peeking over the dark horizon.
He hadn't realized his hands were shaking until he clasped them together in his lap and let his body sag. He hung his head and felt his knee bounce of its own accord, jittery and anxious as he focused on every breath and funneled it through slow familiar exercises to try and get some semblance of control over himself once more. He squeezed his eyes shut and let a nervous strained laugh of hysteria bubble up before smothering it quickly.
'Some Prince I am.' He hissed silently through his careful breaths. Drawing it in through his nostrils and exhaling through his mouth, slowly and repetitively.
What Prince can't stand crowds? What Prince is afraid of speaking in front of others? He was grateful that Azula would take his place to lead in his absence, because he doubted he ever could even if it was his birthright. Even leading an army was a silent daunting task. He did it from inside a tent and passed his orders along to his Captains to relay. They did all of the inspiring speeches and heard the opinions of the collective. All the while, he hid in the smaller ranks and listened to the men wonder why their 'esteemed leader' never stood before them to say these things himself. Zuko listened to their ridicule and their dissent, and he knew he was worth every ounce of their displeasure for his cowardice.
He wasn't cut out for leadership. He never was. Not like Sokka and Azula were. Not like Hakoda did so seamlessly as if it were as natural as breathing. Not like Uncle and Lu Ten who were loved and adored, and respected by their peers. He was surrounded by so many amazing people, so many amazing leaders and he felt so inadequate in comparison. He was at least grateful that he never participated in the courts, that he was too sickly and too shamed so father excluded him from those gatherings. That was one of the few things he was happy for his father doing, as it allowed him to hide and escape away from scornful looks and prying eyes with underhanded words layered with traps and thinly veiled condescension pretending to be flattery.
Zuko smoothed his palms over his knees and noticed the tremors were starting to fade as he continued to breathe. He let his shoulders rise and fall as he sagged under each breath with such immense relief as that tight band that squeezed his chest started to loosen bit by bit as if he could flex it away.
The crunch of footsteps on the dirt path had his head snapping up fast enough to make his head spin. He shrank back instinctively before his rational mind reminded him that he wasn't hiding in wait in the forest, but seated in an open public space. His eyes met the familiar amber of Lady Ezra's eyes reflected in the torchlight. Her arms were draped around a sleepy eyed Lukka that rested his head against his mother's shoulder.
"Good evening Li." She greeted him in that same polite way with the smallest tilt of her head. She was careful not to dislodge Lukka from his rest as the boy's eyes would begin to slip shut before flinging back open in a valiant fight against sleep. It was enough to ease the tension out of Zuko as he regarded them with a nod of greeting back.
"Hello Lady Ezra, Lukka." The boy lifted his head to address Zuko's voice and gave a little clumsy wave of his arm in his general direction. Zuko smiled fondly at that.
"Mind joining me for a walk?" She asked, her voice softened to barely above a whisper. "I'm taking Lukka home to put him to bed."
Zuko's gaze darted back towards the raucous celebrations and bonfires, grimacing inwardly at the thought of going back just yet. He rose to his feet in a show of agreement. "Certainly."
The walk was slow as they meandered through the village, but Zuko didn't mind it as they steadily put the noise behind them. His eyes lifted to the sky as he took a deep breath and let the crisp night air fill his lungs. His fingers tugged the edges of his cloak back around himself to ward off the worst of the chill that started to tickle his cheeks, chasing off the warm flush of the fire from earlier.
The silence was comfortable but Zuko had a question balanced on his tongue since he saw her in that council meeting all those days ago. "If I may ask, Lady Ezra, how did you come to live with the Southern Water Tribe?"
It was something he had puzzled over since she was clearly of noble birth and military service for people of that status was entirely optional. Especially for the women. He couldn't imagine anyone from Caldera nobility choosing to come to a place like this.
'Why? You did.' A voice dragged across his thoughts, shoving that tidbit of information sharply in his face as it raked claws across his mind. It was cold and detached and horribly unpleasant.
She didn't seem to mind the question at all as she began to explain. "I served in the 22nd division back home as a pikeman." The 22nd, Zuko recalled, were the home guard. Primarily set to patrol the borders. The 21st and 23rd were split between the home guard and the colonies. These were the safer divisions, the ones nobility would hide behind when they wanted to flaunt their military service without putting themselves in actual lines of danger. But Lady Ezra didn't seem the type to skirt danger in that way. She had a fire inside of her that felt like so much more. It was to be respected, and Zuko found comfort in that. It reminded him of his own mother.
"I finished my two years of service and returned home. My aunt runs a lucrative spice trade business and we were traveling to Ba Sing Se to meet with an investor of hers in person." She stopped long enough to adjust the sagging weight of Lukka's quietly dozing form against her shoulder and pressed a kiss to his brow when he stirred with a soft groan.
Lowering her voice a touch more, she continued. "Our carriage was caught in the middle of a skirmish between Fire Nation soldiers and Water Tribe warriors. I picked up one of the spears that had fallen in battle, and fought to protect my kin. The man I had been fighting was Kodiak."
"Oh." Zuko realized, feeling the echo of familiarity between his and Sokka's first meeting.
"He got the upper hand on me but not before earning a stab or two in the process. After disarming me, he decided to take me as his war prize." She hummed, not at all bothered by that turn of events. "I was allowed to say goodbye to my aunt and cousin beforehand, and news of my capture had spread to my family."
A note of resigned bitterness slipped through as she added. "A year later, news of my decision to stay and marry Kodiak and have a child scorned me from Caldera's courts and shamed my family."
'Oh.' Zuko could understand that too. It was something he was warring with inside of himself now.
"I'm sorry." He said slowly. "Do you ever miss it? Home I mean."
"Sometimes." Her voice was gentle, wistful with the threads of distant yearning for something that she could never achieve again. Things had changed too much, and Zuko understood that intimately as well. Of how painful it was to dream of the old days when they will never be that way again. "But I don't regret my decision. I wouldn't change a single thing. I love Kodiak and Lukka more than anything in this world and I will die for them before I allow anyone to take that from me."
Her conviction was admirable and Zuko felt at ease to hear it. To know that someone else understood to some extent, that they had lived through these similar struggles between duty to their home and what they want for themselves. Despite it all, it still felt selfish for him to want what he clearly couldn't have. It would never work, because unlike Lady Ezra, everything Zuko was, everything Sokka knew about him was a lie. That changed things for them, it made things complicated and tangled and painful to try and grasp and hold tight to.
When they reached Lady Ezra and Kodiak’s home on the fringes of the village that headed deeper into the hills and meadows beyond, she invited him inside where it was much warmer. He felt a little uneasy being so far away from Sokka, but Lady Ezra was one of his own countrymen and he felt safer in knowing that. She was familiar territory.
“Mama.” Lukka’s voice was slurred with sleep as his pudgy little hands scrubbed at his eyes with a tired yawn. “My letters.” He was starting to wake, struggling against the tendrils of sleep once they were inside. His hands grasped blindly at the open air until Lady Ezra took them in one of her hands and hushed him.
“I’ll read them to you in the morning, my little dragonfly. During breakfast, how’s that?”
“But I wanna hear what Zaya said now.” He whined, petulant as many young children are as he folded his arms over his chest with a huff. Zuko let out a quiet chuckle at the display but the boy could barely keep his head up as it started to nod off in sleep once again.
Lady Ezra smiled and started to take Lukka’s jacket off and prepared him for bed. “One more night won’t hurt.” She assured him. The boy sagged with the weight of the bundled fabrics off of his shoulders and started to give in to the drowsy warmth of the home. She carried him to one of the side rooms that Zuko had assumed was a bedroom. This home was much smaller than Sokka’s family home. It was one large main room and two smaller side rooms that were side by side. A little kitchen table and a few chairs were arranged at the heart of it near the hearth. Numerous furs hung on the walls and there was a basket full of weaver’s yarn of various colors seated in one of the chairs with an unfinished scarf hanging along the arm. A tapestry of two dragons dancing between two large mountains and a rising sun poised above them was a familiar image Zuko recalled seeing once, at an Earth Kingdom market near the Yu Dao colony. It was of Fire Nation make and was titled something about Two Masters and Agni’s blessing.
It was something Uncle would have found impressive and would have appreciated it with his hoarding habit when it came to souvenirs. He certainly was living up to the moniker of Dragon with how much mostly useless junk he kept stored in his stateroom on his ship or in his personal wing back at the Palace. Zuko had laughed about it in his youth and adored the strange trinkets and treasures the older man had brought back, but when it came to practicality, in his years of naval service, he wondered how Uncle Iroh’s ship hadn’t sunk yet by the sheer amount of extra crap he loaded it up with. Or how he managed to function as the sharp tactician he was when he couldn’t find anything in all the mess.
Despite the cramped accommodations, it was cozy and well lived in. Perfect for a small family like this. He could also see the little adjustments made for Lukka, like the metal frame erected around the hearth to keep the boy from stumbling into the fire and little wooden gates that worked on hinges that could lock in certain rooms. It was just tall enough to meet Zuko’s hip, which seemed like a feasible height to prevent a child from wandering unsupervised in a potentially dangerous environment. Lady Ezra slid one of these such gates across the doorway where the curtains were adjusted to create privacy, and smiled back at him.
“Lukka has a friend on Kyoshi Island that he writes letters to. A little girl named Zaya that lives under the care of the Kyoshi warriors. Zaya visits us in the Summers and writes letters to him in the winter months.” She smiled warmly, folding her arms casually, lifting a hand to tuck a stray dark lock of hair out of her face.
“I see. It’s nice having a friend like that.” Zuko hummed. “Especially at that age.”
“I can imagine it was hard growing up without that, Prince Zuko.” He went stone still as those words washed over him like getting slammed by the sea. All color drained out of his face as he turned to meet her amber eyes, still just as warm and fond as they always were. “You look just like Lady Ursa.”
His words were stuck in his throat. Things he wanted to say, things he wanted to scream. His feet were planted firmly in place and everything felt like it had shattered around him with that painful panic crawling back inside his chest with clear intent to stay. It was suddenly very hard to breathe as the cozy home became claustrophobic.
Her eyes softened, apologetic now as she took in the dread that must have shown plain as day on his face. “I won’t tell anybody, please don’t be afraid.”
“I’m afraid I find that hard to believe.” It came out sharp, like a blade of ice shoved up his throat leaving it raw and painful to swallow.
“I know.” She admitted, taking a cautious step closer.
Zuko took a wary step back, finally making his legs move the way he wanted them to, but that was all he could manage for now. A small step back before his hip knocked into a chair that nearly toppled. Stupidly, he lunged to catch it before it fell, more worried about waking the boy sleeping in the next room than the very real concern that Lady Ezra knows and may have already told others in the tribe of his identity.
“How did you know?” He asked, swallowing thickly as he held his ground. To his relief, she didn’t try to come any closer.
“There were a lot of things that clued me in that you were someone of higher status than you’ve let on, but when Sokka mentioned your disdain towards the Ember Island players, and your love of theater, all I could think of was Lady Ursa.” She gestured towards him with that thoughtful expression. “I never imagined you would take after her so much.”
He shied away from that, letting his gaze drop to the floor as he wound his fingers into tight trembling fists at his sides. She was undeterred by that, remaining open and cautious with him, keeping a comfortable distance or what little the tiny space would allow.
“I suppose the tea makes more sense now, knowing you’re the nephew of General Iroh.” He couldn’t hide the nervous laugh that slipped out at that as he scrubbed his palms over his face and groaned.
There was a pause, something thoughtful that sparked in her eyes when Zuko peeked back through his fingers. He let his hands fall away, realizing the studious edge to her gaze as she inspected him. “I’d heard rumors about a fire in the palace and there was talk that you nearly died.”
He nodded. “It was-” an accident? He didn’t feel so sure about that same old lie. These last few years have convinced him it may have been something more. Straightening up, he cleared his throat and tried again. “What did Sokka tell you about me?”
She pursed her lips in thought as she seemed to ponder how much she desired to divulge about certain conversations. He wondered if this was part of the council meetings. If maybe this was why it took so long for them to make a choice regarding his situation. Were there others who had grown suspicious of him? Did they know? If they did, they were better actors than the Ember Island players.
“The death of an Admiral.” She decided on. “I’ve been away from home for far too long, but I had heard of a certain Admiral attempting to court you before I left.”
Zuko didn’t even consider masking the disgusted noise that came, raw and honest with the twisted grimace on his face. “Yeah, same Admiral.” He admitted without hesitation.
“Can I assume his death was more than a refusal of proposal?” She teased and Zuko relaxed a little when the amused light danced in her eyes. She gestured for him to take a seat at the table and, after a reluctant moment, he finally yielded and settled down. It wasn’t like running away would solve this problem but if Lady Ezra was intent on keeping his secret, it couldn’t hurt to weave a bond between them to strengthen that hope. Or maybe he was falling easily back down that rabbit hole of taking underhanded tactics at face value like Azula often scolded him for. He didn’t know and he was too tired these days to really care. It wouldn’t even matter anyway if he had no way to escape.
She made a pot of oolong tea while they talked. Zuko explained that the rumor about the proposal wasn’t true at all.
“I actually started that rumor back when I was nineteen.” He snickered. “Once the courts got ahold of it, it couldn’t be silenced no matter how desperately Zhao tried.”
“Why?” Lady Ezra leaned in, intrigued now.
Zuko was still holding his cards close to his chest on a lot of things as he danced around the topics. “Lets just say it was an act of petty revenge, between soldiers.” Even though it was more than that. Zhao knew he was the Blue Spirit, he was sniffing after Zuko’s trail. He had been there when the whip had struck the prince as he coiled his body around an Earth Kingdom teenager. He saw the lashes that tore into tender skin and his slight wiry frame, barely shielded by the thin fabric of his dark clothing. The painful marks bled through the black cloth but Zuko fought the guards and freed the boy and the other children Zhao had rounded up for theft from military food stores. Stores that were stolen from hardworking honest people who couldn’t even feed their families on the meager rotten grains left behind.
“He wouldn’t leave me alone.” Zuko admitted. “So with a few well placed rumors and the fact Zhao would tail me more often than not when we were in port or around the palace, it didn’t take much convincing for others to agree.”
“Clever boy.” Her smile was predator sharp but so deeply amused. It was both startling and pleasing to see as Zuko took a sip of the tea and let it soothe his parched throat.
“They sort of formed a life of their own, and before long Admiral Zhao was sent away under the direction of General Iroh to hold down Pohuai Stronghold and the surrounding region.” Zuko shrugged. “It got him out of my hair for a while. Then we clashed blades later on after a disagreement and his death wasn’t intentional on my part.” He admitted, feeling his shoulders sag. Even if Zhao deserved it. Even if that slimy bastard hadn’t earned an ounce of respect from Zuko. “He died and nobody really knew it was me he had fought with.”
“I see.” She pressed the words between her lips with the utmost care. It wasn’t hard to believe. Most people who weren’t from the palace itself or worked in its immediate vicinity would even know who he was if they saw him in a crowd. They wouldn’t recognize the burned prince unless they dealt with him directly and even those rare few who did were sworn to keep that under wraps. Only his most trusted Captains were aware outside of his own family. And the small crew he served with, as wild and unruly as they could be on the seas, were loyal to the bitter end and wouldn’t have slipped a single clue to anyone outside of their ranks. As far as most people were concerned, he was a low ranking soldier in a sea of canon fodder.
“I appreciate you telling me this, Prince Zuko.” She assured, reaching a delicate hand out to touch his arm. Her fingers were warmed by the ceramic cup in her grasp and felt nice against his colder skin.
“Li.” He corrects gently. “Please.”
“Of course.” She smiled in that warm motherly way that eased his nerves.
After his conversation with Lady Ezra, Zuko couldn’t find the energy to return to the celebrations even when she offered to accompany him back to the fire. He was apologetic as he excused himself, promising he was just going to head back to Sokka’s house and call it an early night. She promised to pass the information along when she saw Sokka and parted ways with him. The walk back to Sokka’s home was quiet and left him feeling empty and hollowed out now. These last few days had been hard emotionally and mentally as he was faced with so many changes and all the unknowns he lacked important answers to with questions muddled around in his head and hanging off of his lips, unspoken and cold in the night.
Distantly, he could still hear the drum beats echoing and the songs of numerous people chorusing together with whoops and cries of joy. He spotted several tribesmen and women tucked in the shadowy nooks between buildings speaking quietly to one another, holding each other by the lantern light and sharing affections. Some of the huts were aglow with tribesmen who slipped away back to their homes for those who had the privacy within their humble huts to do as they pleased. Sharp familiar laughter stirred Zuko’s attention as he neared Sokka’s home and spotted Aang’s orange robes in the low light of the moon and Katara’s softened laughter as they spoke in quiet conversation between giggles, shuffling back towards Appa’s large hulking shadow where the bison lounged contentedly.
He shook his head and dismissed the thoughts that crept into his mind as he pushed the door open and slipped inside the home. It was dark other than the soft glow of the hearth and the lingering heat that still mingled around the room from the extended absence. Zuko piled some more wood on and used the fire poker to coax the coals back to life until they were licking greedily at the logs. Removing his cloak, he hung it on the wall hook just inside his room and rubbed his hands together to warm the numbness of his fingers that was beginning to set in during his walk. He was tired and sluggish with the growing night’s chill and the strangeness of it all being so far from warm shores in the Fire Nation and the western most coastline of the Earth Kingdom along that stretch.
Zuko was cold and numb and felt entirely depleted as he sank against the sofa with a weary exhale. He pawed at the blanket draped over the frame and pulled it down to drape over himself, breathing in the soft yet faint scent of Sokka still clinging to the intricately woven array of colors. He listened to the crackle and pop of the wood in the hearth and felt the steadily climbing heat, familiar and safe- far safer than the giant fires like funeral pyres that haunted him.
He squeezed his eyes shut and ignored the images that flashed across the backs of his eyelids and breathed deeply, drawing in each measured breath to calm the racing panic of his heartbeat and the anxiety that clenched around his lungs like a tight fist or the rough ball that stuck in his throat threatening to choke him.
It took all of his remaining energy to breathe through the swell until that dizziness dispersed and his breathing slowed to just above dozing and let himself stumble that last stretch of exhaustion into a feather light sleep.
Chapter 19
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Three songs had passed as the beat changed and Sokka slipped away from the circle around the central bonfire to get a drink and catch his breath, with sweat gleaming on his heat flushed skin. His eyes scanned the crowd in search of the familiar face of his favorite fire ferret as one of the women handed him a tankard of cider from one of the large kegs they brought up earlier. He drained half the tankard in quick gulps, still searching the gathered faces before drifting back inside the longhouse. He had spotted Kela wiggling his way around the crowded tables where people came and went with plates full of food, grazing throughout the night between activities. The aforementioned man had settled in a chair and was listening to Tonuk tell a story about a fishing trip that went south very quickly with all sorts of chaos involving a colony of otter penguins, one stubborn tiger seal and a slowly sinking canoe.
Alik was seated in the corner teaching Inuk how to play pai sho while Katla leaned over his brother’s shoulder with a puzzled stare, his attention split between Tonuk’s tale and the rules Alik was explaining.
“Hey guys.” Sokka greeted them with a small wave. Alik’s attention flitted up to meet the warrior’s approach and noted his disheveled appearance with a smirk.
“Is it safe to assume you spent all your time dancing and not participating in other activities, Sokka?” He cocked a teasing brow at Sokka, his lips quirked into an amused smirk when the younger man’s face turned a brighter hue that burned under his fire flush.
“What?” Sokka blurted, raising a quizzical brow at that. “I haven’t-” He stopped himself and shook his head. “Never mind. Have any of you seen Li around? He was at the bonfire earlier but I haven’t seen him in a little bit.”
Alik turned his attention back towards the pai sho board as Inuk made his move. By the looks of it, the younger tribesmen were catching on quickly to the odd game. “I saw him leave the fire a little while ago. He looked like he needed some space.”
Katla nodded with a jerky bob of his head, gesturing at himself and his brother. “We saw him sitting around back by himself when we came in for some more fruit pies.”
“Ah.” Sokka sighed. He supposed he should have expected something like this. He wondered if it was all the noise and people, or the fires that might have bothered him, or maybe it was nothing related to any of that. Sokka didn’t know, and it was hard to ask those kinds of questions without the risk of upsetting the man or watching him clam up tight as a result. “Thanks.”
“Mmhmm.” Alik hummed as he swatted Inuk’s hand away from one of the tiles and shooed him to a different part of the board. Inuk hissed in annoyance as he re-evaluated his options. Sokka downed the rest of his tankard and sat it on the table growing crowded with similar empty and used cups before easing his way through the throng of people huddled around the entrance to the hall. Once he freed himself from the cluster, he spotted Lady Ezra making her way up the path alone, her arms wrapped around herself to rub away the chill in the air. Greeting him with a smile, her amber eyes caught his in a way that she had something she wanted to say.
“Good evening, Sokka.”
“Good evening, Lady Ezra.” He nodded his head politely. “How can I help you this fine evening? If you’re looking for your husband, I think he’s enjoying a very long conversation with Pana and Akna about different types of fish over that way.” He pointed in the direction towards the fires where the trio had settled on a bench near one of the smaller bonfires with a blanket drawn around their shoulders as they talked trade and watched the children run about with peels of laughter.
“Actually, I believe I can help you, Sokka.” She smiled amicably.
“Oh?” He asked, then noticing the gleam in her eyes, he raised his brow with a brief pang of worry. “Is it about Li?”
She nodded, but her expression was comforting as she continued. “He said he was tired and went back to your grandmother’s house. He wanted me to let you know.”
Sokka wondered why Li hadn’t just sought him out and told him himself. But then, after a moment of thought, he understood. Li wasn’t the type to seek others out unless absolutely necessary, especially if he thought doing so would be a burden or a bother. Just like the incident about the hot water on the ship or the fact he was neglecting his scar. He didn’t want to interrupt, and in this case, Sokka was participating in a celebration of his home after they spent the past month talking about how excited he was for it. He wouldn’t want to drag Sokka away from that.
It didn’t matter to Sokka whether he’d be interrupting it or not. It wasn’t the same if Li couldn’t enjoy it by his side. He was excited because he wanted to show this part of his home to the soldier. He wanted him to experience this himself, not hide away. If he didn’t feel comfortable or needed a break, Sokka wouldn’t begrudge him that.
“Thank you.” He tipped his head in a show of appreciation. “I’ll go check on him.”
“Of course, Sokka.” She hummed, giving a little wave of her fingers as they parted.
He approached the house in a mild jog and slowed his pace when he heard the muffled giggles of his sister. His eyes searched out the odd shape of two people huddled together under a blanket tucked close to Appa’s side. The soft light of the moon offered just enough shadows to note where their attentions were directed. Clearing his throat loudly, he watched them both jump in alarm. Aang jerked away from Katara but left their hands still woven together in an affectionate hold. Katara scowled daggers at him.
“Sokka!” She hissed through her teeth with displeasure.
“Better not let Gran Gran catch you.” He warned, folding his arms over his chest. “Save some room for the sky bison you two.”
Aang’s face was a dark shade as he lowered his gaze to the ground, bashful and flustered in a way that reminded Sokka of their childhood together. Katara stuck her tongue out at him in that same old way and glared.
“Oh go kiss a skunk bear!”
“I’d rather be kissing a fire ferret right about now.” He answered smoothly, catching his sister off guard as she blanched at him, trying to make sense of what in Tui and La that meant. He snickered and shuffled quickly around the corner towards their front door before she could recover and snap at him some more.
He closed the door quietly behind himself with a soft click and noted the low light of the room, with the only illumination coming from the glow of the fire in the hearth. There was wood shoved into the hot embers and slowly dying out now that the fuel was running low. Stepping quietly into the kitchen, he made certain not to bump into anything as he stoked the coals and added a few more pieces of wood. The flames roared and crackled back to life, teasing heat against his cheeks as he straightened up and dusted his hands off.
Turning back to the rest of the room with a touch more light than before, he spotted the dark figure curled up tight as a ball on the sofa. Li’s dark hair had fallen loose from his braid and danced fitfully across his forehead, hiding the puckered skin of his scar behind the soft shadows. The spare blanket was drawn over his slight figure as he dozed. The slow rise and fall of his chest was comforting to see. Just seeing Li so comfortable in Sokka’s home was something that filled his chest with so much warmth that it ached with the desire to reach out and draw those dark strands of hair away and press a kiss to the man’s brow. To caress his face and guide his lips to Li’s and show him just how much he appreciates him, how badly he wants him to stay and forge a life here. To see him smile without reservation.
His own mouth curved into a fond smile as the man started to stir from his light nap. Sokka shifted his weight from one foot to the other and moved to light one of the oil lanterns in the center room and set it on the table.
“Sokka?” The question was slurred with exhaustion. Sokka glanced back in time to see the drowsy expression Li tried to scrub away with one palm as he shoved himself upright with the other hand and lingered there a moment more as his eyes adjusted to his figure in the low light. The sleepy smile made Sokka’s heart do a flip in his chest, bouncing off the walls of his ribcage with delight as he smiled back.
“Hey Li.” He purred, coming to settle on the edge of the sofa. Li moved his legs to give Sokka additional room, but the warrior didn’t mind as he looped a strong arm around his shoulders with familiar ease. The soldier shifted his weight so he was tucked up against Sokka’s side and let his head slump against the warrior’s shoulder with a deep inhale. “Sorry if I woke you.”
“S’ fine.” Li sighed softly. The quiet clink of the beads clattered around his neck as they slid along the leather cord and gathered back in place. He was a little bit sleep rumpled and still looked exhausted as his head sank and his eyes started to droop once more. He let out a quiet sigh that sounded so sweet in Sokka's ear as he watched the man start to doze back off again.
He technically should be guiding him to his own bed to lay down and rest, but nobody else was here right now to scold him for it. And Sokka missed this closeness they had forged on the ship, and it was apparent that Li found comfort in the gesture as well, so he couldn't deny either of them this rare opportunity since they came home. In slow repetitive sweeps, Sokka's hand stroked up and down along Li's arm as he secured his half hug and adjusted the blanket so it was tucked snug around the soldier's smaller frame. Li's face shifted to press into Sokka's shoulder as he mumbled tiredly.
"Mm'pillow."
He couldn't stop the soft laugh from bubbling up in his chest as Li lifted his face enough to shoot Sokka a disapproving look at the motion. Not because of the laugh itself but because the jerky rise of his shoulders had dislodged his comfortable spot. Sokka shot back an apologetic smile that was half a smirk and wrapped his arms around him more completely. With a gentle tug, they both laid back onto the sofa, Sokka's feet hanging mostly off the end with Li sprawled across his chest as they adjusted to get comfortable and found it felt a lot like that cramped little cot on his father's ship. Only there was less space here, but more cushion as he relaxed and let his head rest against the covered arm of the sofa.
Li had his face smushed up against Sokka's chest as he mumbled something in Fire Nation that was too low and garbled for the warrior to make out. Once their shifting and fidgeting had stopped, Li's shoulders sagged with a deep exhale and he started to drift back off to sleep once more. Sokka smoothed the blanket out around them now that it was covering them both, and ran a hand up along the soldier's back in slow back and forth motions.
He was starting to doze off a little himself with the quiet crackle of the fire and the majority of the excitement burned out of him after the dance earlier. The flickering shadows that bowed across the ceiling and walls were a trance before his eyes as he tracked their flow and sweeps as they distorted, growing after a particularly loud pop in the flames then dying low moments later. He noted that he'd probably need to add more to the hearth soon but he dreaded the idea of letting Li go, so instead he considered his options and decided he was more than capable of keeping them both warm in the meantime.
Sokka's eyes started to sting against the light show as he let them slip shut, blinking blurriness away and the dull ache of sleep creeping in at the corners that convinced him he could just take a small nap. The soft click of the door handle being pushed open dragged him away from those sleepy lulls and shoved him back to the dark room with much more awareness. Blinking quickly, he tilted his head back trying to see who it was that had come in. The quiet steps were just a touch heavier than Katara's, Aang's and Gran Gran's, and they lacked the slight scuff of the heel that Bato was so accustomed to when moving in a more casual manner. Which meant only one other culprit.
"Sokka?" His father's voice was barely above a whisper as he stepped further into the home and eyed the collective huddle on the sofa where Li's slight frame was balancing between Sokka's hip and shoulder, and the back of the couch. He slotted so easily in that narrow space and found comfort straddling the ravine like a lazy old cat.
With the soft light from the lantern hitting Hakoda from this angle, Sokka could see the raised incredulous brow as he inspected the scene.
Sokka flashed a tired smile back at his father, relaxing now that he knew it wasn't anyone that was going to grill him over the rules, even though the rules seemed to imply he couldn't so much as hug the soldier until Spring with how Gran Gran laid them out. And if they expected Sokka to let Li go until Spring without a single bit of physical affection, they were all clearly insane. This man needed so many hugs to make up for all of the yak shit his life had given him these last twenty-four years.
"He got a bit overwhelmed earlier." Sokka whispered back, giving Li's shoulders a small affectionate stroke. The soldier didn't stir from his sleep or so much as move. Only the quiet rise and fall and soft sounds of his breathing drifted up to meet them.
"Ah." Hakoda grunted in that familiar knowing way, as he considered what they had learned over this last month about the man. His father relaxed a little at that and gave a small nod, lowering himself to crouch so they were closer for this conversation. "How is he doing?"
"Good." Sokka hummed softly. "He met Aang and Appa."
"Oh boy." The quiet chuckle in the chief's chest was a soft airy noise. "How did that go?"
"Bison kisses." Sokka answered with a grin. "I had to rescue him away from bison cuddles."
"I get the feeling he might have been perfectly fine being left to Appa's whims." Hakoda teased, tilting his head a little to catch the relaxed expression of Li's face in the low light. At least what little could be seen that wasn't smushed against Sokka's chest.
Sokka tipped his chin to try and get a glance at Li as well and sighed contentedly. "He's getting along well in the village."
"That's good." Hakoda hummed. "He's an easy man to get along with once you get around those awkward edges and the occasional prickliness."
Sokka nodded in agreement. He was fond of those prickly edges just as much as he was of these moments when they were all smoothed down and vulnerable.
"He's been through a lot lately. It'll take some time for him to find his footing here." Hakoda reminded.
"I know." Sokka assured him. "I just hope Gran Gran can lay off him a little."
"Sokka, the rules are there for a reason-" It came out sounding tired and overused and Sokka rolled his eyes in annoyance at that.
"Yes yes, I know. But dad-" He cut his father off and gestured with a tilt of his head towards the soldier. "You expect me to follow the rules when the rules would also have me neglect his needs. You saw how he can be. This helps." He gave another nod at the way they were tangled together.
Hakoda sighed, giving a small nod of understanding. "I know, Sokka." It left the unspoken but you know better too hanging openly between them. Sokka scowled at that and shot it back at his dad who accepted it as a hazard of parenthood and decided now was the right time to give them space.
His father didn't linger long. He added more fuel to the fire and dug around for something in the kitchen before heading back outside with the quiet click of the door punctuating his absence with a cold whisper of air sneaking in behind him. Sokka snaked both of his arms firmly around Li and held him tight as he glared at the ceiling until he lost the heat of it to the dryness of the room and the ache of his own bone deep fatigue.
He closed his eyes to rest them but sleep never quite came. Not when Katara and Aang slipped inside to warm themselves near the fire while trying to remain so very quiet past their giggles and snickering. Not when Gran Gran returned and approached the sofa, where Sokka feigned sleep just so he wouldn't get another lecture and she ambled off to bed for the night, but not before placing another blanket across their huddled forms. Not when he was the only one left awake at the early hours of morning. It felt like he had only just begun to shed his awareness and slip into sleep, finally submerging himself into its welcoming waves when he was yanked back into reality at the smell of sizzling meat on a hot pan and the quiet clank of dishes being set on the table.
He didn't even notice Li's absence immediately, taking a few minutes to collect himself as he blinked against the sharper light of the room past the gnawing call of dawn. Aang was sitting at the table feeding nuts to Momo, Katara was sitting beside him as Gran Gran stood hunched over the pans by the fire. Li was dressed in the black outfit Sokka had picked out for him before, diligently aiding Gran Gran in meal prep as he worked a knife with skilled ease quickly through whatever she was having him cut up. Sokka couldn't see it from this angle. Just the practiced motions of the knife in his hand and the fluid up and down movement of his arm.
It took a moment for him to tune into whatever conversation the group had been having in his absence, catching Aang’s offer in Fire Nation. “Would you like to join us, Li? Appa can carry quite a few people in his saddle.”
Li looked hesitant at the question, conflicted between enthusiasm and uncertainty. His brows furrowed, puzzled as he slowly edged out. “I...don’t know.” He shifted awkwardly by the counter and twisted to offer whatever it was he had been cutting to Gran Gran.
“I’m sure Sokka wouldn’t mind.” Katara smoothly hummed as she scratched behind Momo’s ears as the lemur trilled delightedly. “He’ll probably come along anyway.”
“Where are we going?” Sokka took the opportunity to inject, dragging himself upright with a weary groan as he flexed his back and stretched his shoulders out to get the odd crick out of his neck. He rolled his head around as he listened for his sister’s answer.
“Taking Appa out for a ride before Aang leaves.”
“Oh, yeah. Right.” He grunted. It was getting to be that time of the year again. Aang would head off back to the Southern Air Temple to hunker down with the rest of the monks and acolytes there until Spring. Usually he and Gyatso, along with a handful of others would make the trip back to join the festivities as the tribes gather once more. It was always a nice change coming through the cold months to find the comfort of friends again.
Sokka let his gaze drift over the table until it met Li’s curious expression watching him with anticipation. He shifted, fidgeting with his hands in front of himself in that way that seemed to tell Sokka he had something he wanted to broach but wasn’t entirely sure how to ask or begin. “Would you like to join them for a ride on Appa, Li?”
Li straightened up, his good eye widening for a split second before he gave a bob of agreement. “If it’s no bother.”
Sokka waved flippantly and lurched forward on unsteady feet still stiff from the day prior as he stretched his legs and let his entire body unravel slowly as he folded his arms behind his head and groaned. “I don’t mind. Dad mentioned that Tekkeitsertok was coming today or tomorrow with a shipment to trade.”
“Oh yeah, his wife Uki sent a gull the night before the feast.” Katara blurted. “I wonder who all is coming with him this time around.”
Gran Gran hummed. “From the sounds of it, La blessed them with a plentiful catch.” Sokka settled down at the table, slumping into the seat beside Katara which put him directly across from Li when he finally took his spot.
Breakfast consisted of puffin-seal sausages sizzling in a pan of seal fat, a root vegetable that had a Water Tribe name that Zuko wasn’t familiar with that was cut into flat discs that were fried along side the sausages until crispy with a bit of salt and went well with a bit of berry jam and a slice of bread. There were leftover sea prunes and a flat sweet bread cake with Kyoshi Island honey drizzled on top and arctic hen eggs fried up on the side. Zuko couldn’t help but think back on all the meager, sorry excuses for meals he’s had over the last several months in that mountain pass, at no fault of his men of course, and felt the immense relief and simultaneous guilt that he was eating better as a captive in an enemy nation than he was in his own military.
This thought was only dissuaded by the reminder that his men had already gone home to their loved ones and wouldn't struggle between meals. Without him to hold them back, there was no excuse for anyone to be interfering with their meal rations anymore.
There was a bundle of mangos that Aang had apparently brought with him from the Air Temples. When Zuko inquired about it, the nomad was more than happy to explain.
“We’ve adopted a vegetarian lifestyle as an extension of our values that all life is sacred.” He said in between bites of the honey cakes, peeling pieces back to feed to Momo when the lemur lifted his head and chattered, begging from under the table in Aang’s lap. “We grow all kinds of fruits and vegetables in the gardens around the Temple. When the harvest is ready, we jar what we take to preserve it through the long months and when there is more than we could ever possibly use, we bring it down here.”
Katara nodded in agreement. “The monks have helped our tribes out for years with their generosity. When mom was little, she remembered when life was a lot harder and food shortages put us on the brink of starvation. The monks of the Southern Temple gave us aid, and later, the trade agreement dad forged with the Earth Kingdom for the sake of the tribes, Kyoshi Island and the surrounding neutral territories ensured our survival.”
Kanna took a long sip of her cup of tea that Zuko had prepared earlier the way Uncle had taught him and spoke up for the first time since they settled in for their meal. “I remember those early years. We lost so many people to the bitter cold and hunting was scarce. It wasn’t like the ease that the Northern Tribes flourished with, with their whaling ships that could always make those long journeys in the Summers to bring back food.”
“I see.” Zuko let his gaze drop a little as he thought back on how rough it was just for him and his men when the weather was good and the surrounding forests were plentiful enough if they knew what to look for. He couldn’t imagine being trapped in an icy landscape for months on end with dwindling food and nothing left to hunt and forage.
“Down here, we rely on the seals, arctic hippos and buffalo yak.” Sokka sighed, the grimness of the topic settling under the layers of his more casual tone. He looked so tired by the way the shadows played with the worry lines around his eyes and the soft stubble growing in along his jaw that gave him the look of being older than he already was. “Further to the east where Tekkeitsertok’s village resides, they hunt the caribou that roam inland and raise arctic camels. If they’re lucky, a polar leopard or orca will be caught and can be traded for higher value.”
It was times like these that reminded Zuko that Sokka was most likely going to take up the role of Chief behind his father, and fill in the footsteps of Hakoda’s legacy. He wasn’t sure how Water Tribe leadership was decided but if it was anything like Fire Nation succession, he saw a bright future ahead of the tribes with Sokka. But he also understood the burden of such a decision and the weight of a whole nation piggybacking every choice. He didn’t bear it to the same extent that his Uncle or cousin would, but if holding the weight of an army on his shoulders was anything like the crimes of a nation and its survival for the future, then he felt all the more for the man and his position.
“I can’t imagine what that would be like.” He admitted softly, his attention split between the half eaten plate in front of him as he poked the last few bites of puffin-seal sausage with his fork. “The Earth Kingdom trade makes this easier for all of you?”
Sokka nodded. “Kyoshi Island is a hub for trade and our village frequently takes ships up to trade with them. With the war, it's been harder to get the supplies we need without the merchant ships being intercepted by the Fire Navy, so we made an agreement with Earth King Kuei and his Council of Five, that we would aid in the war effort in exchange for safer trade routes. Those trade routes are what keeps us alive.”
“If you didn’t have to worry about the security of the trade routes, would your people have joined in the war?” Zuko was curious now, drawn towards this familiar discussion.
Unable to give a positive answer, Sokka shrugged. “I’m not sure.” He stopped to think on it, turning his attention towards Katara and Kanna to invite their thoughts on the topic. Katara shrugged with uncertainty as well. Kanna tapped her fingers against the table in thought before answering.
“We’ve stayed out of the war for a decade, then spent the last six years fighting bitterly beside the Earth Kingdom. Before the trade routes were threatened, we had formed a system of neutrality just as the Northern Tribes had.”
He pursed his lips in thought and nodded. “I understand.” It made Zuko wonder how exactly the trade routes had gone unbothered for an entire decade when the Fire Nation was primarily a naval force and a ground force only secondary. Unless the decision to abandon its protection was due to risk management on the Earth Kingdom’s part, but the prince didn’t quite understand the reason behind that with their sizable military and economic status as a breadbasket nation. He frowned in concentration, picking through all of the information he had collected for the last few years regarding the Earth Kingdom’s military prowess and it didn’t quite make sense, until he took into consideration the precision naval combat and stealth potential that the Water Tribe fleets offered. Their tactics were built upon ambush and similar methods of being unseen until the last moment possible, even infiltrating warships under cover of night in moonless raids like ghosts.
If the Earth Kingdom was aware of these forms of combat and decided to take away one of the few things sustaining the Water Tribes and keeping them away from the war, then that would force them to bargain and join a side, eliminating their presence as a neutral nation.
Zuko zoned out a little, letting his thoughts run circles around his head while the rest of the group discussed their plans for the day and the impending visit from this man named Tekkeitsertok from another village. Eventually his attention drifted back to the mangos as he politely requested if he could have one when he finished his plate. Kanna was more than happy to oblige as Zuko excused himself from the table long enough to find the spices he had picked up in the port town with Sokka. Returning with a container of chili powder, he set to work using his breakfast knife to cut back the skin of the sweet fruit then sliced shallow lines up and down, then side to side until it was cubed but still one solid piece and started to sprinkle the spice across the top in a light dusting.
Sokka’s eyes widened in wonder as he leaned forward, curiously watching the prince’s creation of a childhood snack his mother had given him during their trips to Ember Island. “What is that?”
“Delicious is what it is.” Zuko answered as he pulled one of the chili covered cubes away with his fingers and popped it into his mouth, relishing the nostalgia of flavor and heat.
“Oh! My friend Kuzon likes to eat his mangos like that. He also puts cinnamon on his moon-peaches.” Aang blurted, his grey eyes watching the familiar sight. “It’s a common Fire Nation snack.”
“Your friend Kuzon has good taste.” Zuko hummed, offering one of the cubes to Sokka. “Try it.” The tribesman stared at it with skepticism, judging the fact it had the least amount of red dust on it before cautiously popping it into his mouth. He looked puzzled by the flavors before nodding quietly to himself.
“That’s actually pretty good.” Sokka announced, reaching over to steal another cube from Zuko’s plate with little care for boundaries. Zuko snorted in amusement as he offered some to Katara, Aang and Kanna. Katara turned away, waving her hand in dismissal.
“I’m good. Thanks.”
Kanna chose a heavily spiced piece and ate it with all the ease of someone raised in the Fire Nation. Aang enjoyed it but coughed a bit when the bite he chose had a little too much heat.
Zuko chuckled at the faces the nomad made and the odd smile he shared. “That’s almost as hot as Kuzon likes it.”
“Kuzon is a Fire Nation name.” He raised a brow at the nomad in question. Aang nodded, even more chipper at the opportunity to talk about his friend. It was odd hearing about a young boy who had left his homeland to join the group of pacifist nomads, but then again, it was probably the safest choice on Kuzon’s part considering later events. He may never be welcomed back in the Fire Nation for that decision, but something told Zuko that that may have not been a bad thing in the end for the man who seemed, by Aang’s description, to be content with his choices in life.
After putting on much warmer clothes, Zuko followed Sokka out to where Aang was preparing Appa’s saddle. Katara was assisting with the straps that quickly vanished in the thick layers of bison fur. With his cloak secured around his shoulders to offer some defense against the cold wind curling off of the water, the bison lowered its tail to invite them up the curve and onto the saddle. It felt strange stepping on the bison’s tail and Zuko was tempted to apologize, but Sokka had a hold of his arm to keep him steady and led him up where his sister and the nomad were already waiting.
“Careful not to lean over the saddle too much so you don’t fall.” Aang urged, holding the bison’s reins with care. Zuko nodded his understanding and tucked himself against the railing of the saddle where a suitable handhold was situated. Sokka was still getting comfortable as Aang began discussing the various things Katara wanted him to bring back with him in the Spring.
Zuko honed in on the topic as grey eyes met his and smirked. “I could also bring some spices from the Fire Nation if you’d like?” His mouth twisted into a knowing smile when the prince nodded enthusiastically.
“I’d appreciate it.” He blurted back. “I haven’t had proper Fire Nation spice in almost a year.” Then, because he was feeling bold, he added. “You’re my new best friend.”
Aang chuckled as he adjusted the reins in hand. Sokka squawked from his seat between him and Katara where she was positioned closer to the front of the saddle. Zuko was beside the warrior as Sokka took the back where he had arranged Aang’s bedroll and tent which was strapped down in place to recline comfortably back upon.
“What?” Sokka turned towards Zuko with narrowed eyes, but that underlying hint of amusement that told him that the outrage was entirely in jest. “What about me?”
Zuko shrugged and added, in the most casual way he could. “Aang has fluffy animals and spices. What do you have?”
Sokka paused, narrowed his eyes in a dramatic show of consideration before saying, in full seriousness as he gestured. “A fluffy sister?”
The speed at which Katara crossed the saddle in a lunge that could make a tigerdillo blush with envy was incredibly impressive as she threw herself at her brother and shoved Sokka over the back of the saddle to topple back down Appa’s tail. Her roar of frustrated sisterly disgust was enough to make Zuko recoil away from any further threat she might pose considering he did start the jab.
Aang preened from the top of Appa’s head between howls of laughter as Sokka laid flat out on the ground like a depressed starfish having suitably given up on life. “I think you look very lovely sweetheart.” The nomad cooed towards her. Katara leaned over the edge of the saddle, having retreated back to her spot near the head to rub their noses together in an affectionate nuzzle.
“Thank you darling.”
“OOGIE!” Sokka shouted from his spot before sitting up to dust himself off and scramble back up Appa’s tail. It was a word that Zuko had never, in all his life, ever heard of but it apparently had some sort of childish meaning that he failed to grasp.
Katara whirled with the fury of a pygmy puma as she spat at her brother. “What are you, twelve still?”
Sokka rolled his eyes as he shook the remnants of dirt and grass off of himself and flopped back onto the saddle, this time seated much closer to Zuko as if that may save him from his sister’s future fury. He snaked an arm around the prince’s shoulders and tucked him up against his side, letting his arm straddle the edge of the hand rail. Aang rolled his eyes at their sibling bickering and gave the reins a shake.
“Appa, yip yip.”
Zuko wasn’t expecting the bison to suddenly lurch forward, or the quake of its body rising abruptly off the ground. He let out a strangled cry of alarm and expected to be jerked forward as they landed back down but instead was met with the smooth glide of cool air ghosting over his face as they flew forward, hovering a few yards above the ground, just enough to clear the other houses in the village and even the docks near shore. Appa slowly alighted upon the water at Aang’s urging as small waves rolled out on either side and the bison’s tail trailed a rippling wake behind them. Gulls flew low overhead, letting out their noisy screams of alarm at the strange beast and otter penguins surfaced nearby as they surged through the cold water to race after silvery fish.
Katara smiled at him as Sokka’s arm tightened around his shoulders in a quiet reassurance that he wasn’t going to suddenly tip off the saddle into the frigid waves. A warm hand smoothed down his arm in comforting strokes. The warrior’s affectionate gaze met Zuko’s wide eyes as a nervous smile broke across his face into something honest and giddy, echoing how he felt after the whole Gemsbok bull incident. His heart was fluttering inside his chest like a hummingbird.
After the initial scare, the ride was less heart attack inducing and actually really peaceful as he rested against the comfort of Sokka’s embrace and watched the wildlife that passed them by. Tigerseals broke the surface of the water to flip and roll and play, waving their flippers and belting out grunts and growls of greeting at Appa. The bison lowed back, sending any curious seals that nosed by scattering back beneath the waves. A pod of dolphin piranha were spotted from a distance bobbing around the sheer rocky cliffs spitting sprays of water from their spouts waiting for any stray otter penguins to risk the cold plunge for a bite, only to end up one themselves. Puffin seals nested in the rocky crevices and cried along the shelves of their colonies in a raucous. There were large fish like halibut and cod that moved like sluggish shadows below the waves and small schools of silvery fish that Zuko didn’t recognize that gleamed in the rising afternoon light of midday.
The sky was cloudy but calm with the bite of encroaching winter in the air turning their noses red and their cheeks rosy. At Sokka’s urging, Aang coaxed Appa to take to the air when they reached more shallow areas and flew just a little higher than last time. It was obvious that Aang was taking the utmost care to keep them low to the ground, and after a thoughtful question about it from Zuko, curious as he was, it was revealed that it was best for first time flyers.
He supposed he understood the point behind that after his earlier startle when Appa lifted off. It would have been nicer to see the landscape from much higher than a naval bridge on a royal cruiser but he couldn’t complain when he was riding on a real life sky bison. Which he occasionally snuck his fingers over the saddle rail to give Appa so many pets through his thick layers of fur. Momo was soaring around their heads, taking to greater heights with the renewed freedom before swooping back down to rest on Aang’s shoulders or snuggle into Katara’s lap, before going about it again. He would weave around the sea birds and shoot up along the cliffs before looping back and chattering at them excitedly.
All the while, Sokka kept an eye out for Tekkeitsertok’s ships on the horizon. The weight of his arms never slipped away from Zuko’s sides as he trailed his fingers up and down the prince’s ribcage through the layers of his clothes. Part of Zuko cursed the cloak that got in the way of that warm touch, while he simultaneously was grateful for it as it shielded him from the cold wind that picked up between the rocky breaks of the narrow channels surrounding the islands the Water Tribes called home.
It was a beautiful place that was certainly far different than anywhere Zuko had traveled before. The volcanic tropics of the Fire Nation couldn’t compare to the plentiful pristine beauty and the serene majesty of the landscape, with its rolling hills and misty lowlands. He could only imagine what it was like in the Spring with so much more wildlife and plants growing in such abundance. Or to see the snow fall and all the ice that encapsulated their sleepy little corner of the world. Most of all, he was looking forward to spending all of that time with Sokka and whatever adventures awaited them now. The warrior wanted to show Zuko his home, and the prince was more than thrilled to see it.
Even if it meant he had given up on any thoughts he had once entertained about returning home or those grief-addled plans of sneaking off to Kyoshi Island some way….well, he didn’t really consider any of them as being a real plan to begin with. He made his peace with this now, at least until Spring. He would remain and see this through to the end and maybe, if he prayed to Agni for some ounce of reprieve from the utter chaos that has become his life all these years, he’ll find something in all of this that he had ached for more than anything Caldera could offer him.
A chance to be himself, with someone of his own choosing.
Notes:
Just wanted to flesh out a bit more about their trade system and why the Water Tribe entered the war.
Lady Ezra was one of the first Fire Nation people they had taken in after the Southern Water Tribes joined the war effort 6 years ago. She was taken a little less than 5 years ago (Lukka is 4 but about to turn 5 in a few months and was concieved on the night of the Spring Festival) but the Water Tribes have been taking in people from the Earth Kingdom for decades along with various travelers of mixed culture and heritage to help expand their tribes.
Also, Aang does not stay the winter with the tribes. Only the Spring and Summers. It wouldn't be feasible for him to go through the harsh winters, especially with the vegetarian lifestyle he relies on and the limited supplies the Water Tribes have which are primarily meat and animal based. It wouldn't be fair for him to struggle with that and its easier for him to go back to the temples for the cold months or, when the war wasn't a huge issue, they would travel the Fire Nation or Earth Kingdom during that time.
The Northern Water Tribes are well practiced in whaling to supplement their people through the harsh months. The Southern fleet is not. They don't have the right types of ships, the manpower or the ability to hunt like that during the summer months when migration patterns would suit them, especially when their bigger ships that would be useful are mostly off helping with the war effort, and whaling is a very dangerous type of hunt. So, when whaling is done, its usually due to one of the tribes coming across a wounded or beached whale that they could put out of its misery quickly and put it to use, or hunt a much smaller whale or orca. Other than that, they typically don't participate in it. Their main hunt is arctic hippo, arctic hen, tiger seals, (turtle seals when the migrations are good), puffin-seals, buffalo yak and caribou. Plus any and all fish and the occasional otter penguins if they're desperate. Polar bears and Polar leopards are less likely to be hunted due to the higher risks they pose in hunting, but are a valuable trade item when it does happen.
Thank you again for reading along and all comments, questions and feedback are appreciated.
I might slow down a little bit as this next chapter will take some time (depending on my motivation) and I have a jujitsu test to study and practice for on Monday for my next belt level that really needs my attention more than this right now. But I will get the next chapter up as quickly as I can!
Next we swing back over to Lu Ten.
Chapter 20
Notes:
Here is our first Yue chapter.
Sorry this is a little shorter than the average chapter but it came in at around 5k words this time so slightly better than the previous Lu Ten, Ozai and Jee chapters. I'm trying not to give away too much.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
La’s Revenge surged seamlessly across the waves as if the aforementioned spirit itself were guiding them to safe harbor in a small Earth Kingdom port. It wasn’t as big or fancy as the one they had left near Gaoling, but this one was a hop, skip and a jump away from a renowned Earth Kingdom fortress run by General Fong. Nonetheless, it was bustling with merchants and travelers passing through which suited Yue’s needs perfectly. After the last storm that rolled in, they’d managed to barely scrape by with the skin of their teeth after not one, but two sails had been torn by the fierce winds and raging waves that swelled around them.
Ila had managed to mend them with a quick enough patch job to get them to safe harbor which was nothing short of a miracle on her part. They were short on some more menial supplies that Gaoling couldn’t give them, or the merchants there were trying to price gouge them due to the war effort and the fact they were mostly foreign women, so they followed Yuka’s husband, Jaihao’s advice and went north along the western most coast where the sales were fairer and the people less greedy. It was a calculated risk on her part, but they had finally reached their destination and were hopeful that the spirits were holding them in their favor still as her crew set out into the town to find what they needed.
Yura was keeping the children busy with her sister Yuka while Jaihao, Ila, healer Nauja and Sakari spread out across the town in an effort to divide and conquer their lists of necessities. Jaihao and Ila rushed off in one direction looking for a tailor or weaver they could purchase new materials for the sails from, while Nauja wandered through the market with a doe eyed Sakari bashfully trailing her heels. Yue rolled her eyes and smiled warmly at the sight as she took her own time and headed for a shop that appeared to sell calligraphy sets.
It wasn’t a common skill in the Northern Water Tribes to be able to read and write in Earth Kingdom common or even the Fire Nation’s Imperialist style and she wanted her children and the rest of the crew to learn such skills and cherish them as their own unique weapon against those who saw them only as illiterate savages of the North. It would be the downfall of anyone that underestimates them by the color of their skin or the colors they bore of their homeland.
To do so, they needed more supplies. The girls were running low after Yuka’s youngest and only daughter, Haixai mistakenly broke the inkstone that her older brother Hairu was using to practice his letters, and they were low in ink sticks and needed new brushes and a notable stockpile of parchment.
It wasn’t going to be cheap by any means, but that was the price she was willing to pay to ensure a brighter future for her people. Even if many back home disagreed with such a decision. It wasn’t their choice to make for the collective and a pursuit of self improvement and obtaining knowledge was the most precious gift of all. Something that Yue deeply believed in even if the stale old advisors of her father’s former council had sided with Hahn when he denied her that right and tried to quell her into a silent statue fit to sit pretty at his side while he made decisions for her people in a place of power that he was not born into but wormed his way to with pretty, cold promises and ignorance. The women lacked a voice in all corners of the North and Yue was fed up with it. With her father having stepped down, she no longer was sworn to an obligation. Taking those who wished to go with her, consisting of women, children and a handful of the men who wanted better for their wives and daughters, who wanted them to see a world away from their cold isolation, and began traversing the seas for the last eight months.
Hahn had made many attempts to intercept her efforts and called upon allies of the North when La’s Revenge entered occupied waters, but her ship was blessed with bravery and an agility that the clumsier, far larger whaling vessels lacked. Many of her crew have changed over the last few months. Some had disembarked at friendly ports, while others took up vessels of their own or settled down with their families when the opportunity arose and it looked safe from the war. They just left two families back in Gaoling, reducing her crew by eight members but with each port, she gained some and she lost some. It was an ever constant revolving door that left her content.
A constant motion to their lives that was fresh and new, not stagnant like the lives the North had sewed for them. It was a taste of freedom. A chance at something thrilling. Even with all the dangers that came with it. It’s what made it worthwhile.
The calligraphy shop was run by an older woman and her husband that greeted her with cheerful smiles. Their eyes watched her with awe, drawn by the sheen of her white hair and the pale blue of her eyes that was unusual even for the Water Tribes. It was an abnormality she had been born with that earned her quite a bit of attention growing up. For some, she was seen as beautiful, a true snow princess as she had overheard time and again, while others turned their eyes away and thought her white hair and odd eyes were a bad omen. She was spirit touched which, considering their thoughts on the outside world and the sheltered views of her people, wasn’t always a good thing.
Kids her age compared her to a sick fish, lacking its natural camouflage so a bigger predator could seek her out and devour her. While others scorned her uniqueness as being a freak. Her position as the Chief’s daughter only drew more eyes in her direction as expectations were piled upon her shoulders and people watched for her to make a mistake. In some twisted way, the cruel words of young boys were honest in one way. She was the fish being watched by everything in the ocean, unable to hide in the crowd as their eyes tracked her every move. Unbeknownst to them, she had teeth as sharp as a tigerseal's and anything bold enough to try and eat her would be devoured in return.
She was not meek enough to be ensnared in nets laid to trap her in a moment of indecision. She tore through their threads like a shark or slipped through the holes like the sharp witted octopus. Agile and unrelenting, she could not be caught and her colors shone in her triumph time and time again.
It wasn’t unusual for her to draw eyes in ports, but Yue noticed one pair of eyes that watched her dangerously. They came attached to a pair of footsteps that had followed her into the shop. As she leafed through a pile of parchment set upon the shelves, her eyes slid to observe the shadow of a strange man, maybe ten years older than herself if she had to guess. He was larger in build, with broad shoulders and a height that was considered respectable in the Earth Kingdom. He wore the common browns and olive greens of the port citizens and his long black hair was tied up in a braided style that wasn’t unusual for this region considering how close to Ba Sing Se they were, but the pallor of his skin and the sharp gold of his eyes was far from any Earth Kingdom lineage.
There were dark circles under his eyes, and deep lines of weariness that creased a face that was still too young to be so worn by age. He was dressed like a common traveler or laborer, but his clothes were too clean and his posture was too stiff to be anything other than a man of the military. She doubted he was a deserter of the Earth Kingdom. There was something about the quiet steps and the ease in which he smoothly moved from one aisle to the next, peering through the shelves to catch her eyes. When they met, he would smile at her, something warm and curious alighted in his gaze before they would flit back down to the scrolls he was inspecting closely. The subtle twitch of his hands and the shifting weight of his steps, though nearly silent on the wood boards of the shop floor, gave her the impression that he was nervous or hesitant. Like he wanted something from her but the public space made it hard to approach with the tight corners of the small shop and the cluttered ends of each aisle.
She collected what she needed, taking the utmost care to keep the shelves and counters between herself and the strange man as she placed the items on the counter to pay. They were bundled up quickly and slipped into the bag she carried across her midsection. It wasn’t the type of pouch a woman of her nation would be seen wearing, more fitting of men and merchants but it made it easier to store the things she needed for trips like these and still keep her hands free. Like now as her hand started creeping towards the knife tucked inside the band of her waist, stowed out of view by the thinner long sleeve tunic she wore to brush off the light chill wind still dancing off the water from the earlier storms.
As she left the shop, she counted the paces until those cautious footsteps followed behind her. Yue didn’t glance behind herself, feigning ignorance as she went to a vendor stall to inspect some fruit for sale, then moved forward, mentally mapping out the roads and branching alleys that led to the more residential parts of the town.
The man continued to follow her, tracking her through the crowd and adjusting his pace accordingly. He was smart enough to drift to other stalls and look mildly interested in the products, even asking questions to the sellers about the prices before moving on to keep pace with her. She will admit, his Earth Kingdom common sounded pretty good as well, with only the barest touch of an underlying Fire Nation accent creeping in. It was almost convincing enough to persuade her that he wasn’t a threat.
Seizing the opportunity to cleanly break away, she entered the alley ahead of her with ease, getting enough time to briskly race ahead of her pursuer to tuck around the next corner out of sight. She heard the quickened pace of his footsteps come down the alley and drew her knife in preparation. The first sign of black hair and olive green breaching the intersection was met by a hard elbow to his chest that slammed him backwards, taking him off balance. He stumbled and fell onto his back, dazed and coughing to catch the air back into his lungs from the surprise hit, giving her enough time to lunge forward. Her fist wound up in the front of his robes as she knelt, straddling his hips as she pressed her blade flush against his throat with the edge laid threateningly under his adam’s apple. He swallowed thickly, golden eyes widened in alarm as he held his hands up where she could clearly see them.
“Why are you following me?”
“I don’t mean you any harm, I’m sorry.” He tried to placate her then a brief flash of a disarming smile as his eyes searched her face. “Agni, you’re beautiful.”
“What?” She ignored the soft pink that rose on her cheeks as being the cause of the wind curling off the ocean. The months were growing colder even in the Earth Kingdom. The storms brought a southern chill with them that couldn’t be ignored easily, even this far north.
“Are you from the Southern Water Tribes?” He asked, his voice was hesitant, his eyes hopeful now. No, not just hopeful, Yue realized. Pleading. Well, this certainly wasn’t how she expected her day to go, but it was at least interesting so there was that. This man was either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave. She was opting to withhold judgement until further questioning had been done.
“No.” She answered bluntly, lacking the delicate tact that years of being the Princess had bestowed upon her. She had chosen the less flowery and far more cutting approach to getting her point across that her fellow tribesmen had often directed towards her without a care for how their tone seemed to be perceived.
The man seemed to deflate at that, as if the meager hope of where she had come from was keeping him going. His head rocked back to rest against the ground now without a care for the dirt that was getting in his hair or the fact they were crouching in a grubby weed riddled Earth Kingdom back alley. Not even the razor edge of her knife appeared to phase him as she adjusted her grip on it.
“Why are you looking for a Southern tribesman?”
He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, as if preparing himself for the effort that dragged him down. Opening them, he looked so much older than he was, with an exhaustion she could sympathize with. “I-” He paused, glancing down at the hand still keeping the blade at his neck, calculating the risk of whether what he was about to say would end with him getting his throat slit for the admission, then lifted his eyes back up to meet her piercing icy gaze.
“I’m looking for my little cousin. He was taken by the Southern Water Tribe.” The man explained carefully. “As a war prize I believe, as is their custom.”
“I see.” Family was something Yue understood intimately. It was the reason she left Hahn and her father, taking her children with her so that their future could be better than the life she led for so long. “And your cousin, he was a Fire Nation soldier I assume?”
He nodded, a slow bob of his head in confirmation but his eyes never left hers. “He has a large burn scar on the left side of his face. Really hard to miss if you’ve seen him.”
"I'm afraid I haven't." Yue offered, apologetic for that fact as she allowed the blade to inch down a touch. Just enough to give the man breathing room and that's all.
"That's what I was afraid of." He bemoaned miserably. She kind of felt bad for the man, as she sat up a little more and really took in his bedraggled appearance. The clothes were clean and clearly used to blend into the common crowd, a brilliant tactic for the untrained eye. But his face was grim with the distress one feels impacted by the loss of a loved one. Even one that was alive but so far beyond their reach that they might as well have joined their ancestors in the spirit world.
She figured it was safe to assume this was not a recent development on his part and he may have been searching for some time.
"Have you been following every water tribesman you encounter just to ask them?" She hazard a guess.
He gave a small jerk of his head that might have been a nod as he sighed. "More or less, yes. I'm aware of the impracticality of it but desperate times and all." He sighed. "I needed to know if he would be safe, if-" He paused, a pained look in his golden eyes. "If there was a chance I'll ever see him again."
"It was the Southern Tribes that had taken him." She stated cautiously, as if that would do enough to explain the outcome. "They don't harm their prisoners." Not like we do. The thought came bitterly. "You're only putting yourself in more danger by seeking out tribesmen for information."
"I know." He let his head roll back as his gaze flickered to the sky above and the rolling grey that obscured the usual blue and burning heat of the sun's soothing rays. She wouldn't mind a blessing of that to warm her cheeks some if she was being honest.
"It sounds to me like you love your cousin very much." Yue teased at the thought like a frayed hem, pulling at the threads to see just how far she could unravel this man.
His face smoothed out with a look of so much unreserved fondness, raw and appealing in a way that made his eyes shine brightly. "I do. He's always been like a little brother to me. I want to take care of him and make sure he sees a brighter future than whatever fate has decided to so cruelly deliver to him."
There seemed to be a story behind those words and her interest was piqued, but this was no place for these kinds of unfiltered admissions. She eased her weight off of his hips and rose to her feet. His golden eyes tracked her movements, cautiously watching the placement of the knife in her grip like a smart man. She extended her free hand to help him to his feet. He raised a quizzical brow before carefully taking the offered hand. She dragged him back up to his feet and noted the crooked satisfied smile he shot her. It did a good job of shrugging the worst of his grief off so it only remained a shadow dancing in his eyes. A pain he could never part with, no matter how well distracted he was with other interests.
"Lu Ten." He extended his arm in a familiar water tribe way. It surprised her at his familiarity with their greeting customs. Though this greeting was more common between two men, she gratefully accepted the arm and gripped his firmly against her own.
"Yue." She introduced herself with a small nod of her head. The knife slipped back inside her waistband with practiced ease that caught his attention. A look of awe alighted his expression as that smile grew.
"You're not like the other Northern Water Tribe women I've met." He hummed, pleased with that tidbit of knowledge.
Yue raised an incredulous brow at that. "Have you met many Northern women before?"
"Only one." He admitted sheepishly. "I was just a little boy. I think her name may have been Yagonda, Yagosha, Ya- something. It was a very long time." His cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he struggled to recall the name. Yue smiled, amused by his efforts.
"Yagoda?" She asked, intrigued now as to how this Fire Nation soldier was able to meet Healer Yagoda.
"Yes!" His eyes widened with recognition. "She was a doctor I believe."
"In our tribe, we call them healers but yes. She still is a healer in the North. She teaches the women how to tend to the sick and wounded." She gave him a curious glance now. "Why did you meet her?"
"My father sought out her counsel on behalf of my Aunt hoping she may be able to help my little cousin. He was a very sickly child and was lingering on the cusp of death for so long." His eyes went dark and distant, a tightness knitted his brows as that same shadow of grief came over him. Lu Ten took a deep breath and as he exhaled slowly, he continued. "He got better a few years later but not before a fire nearly took him from us for good."
There was resentment there. An anger brewing underneath the surface as his jaw went tense, like he knew something more about this fire. There was so much hatred, though brief and agonizing in Lu Ten's expression before his smoothed it all away with a weary sigh of resignation.
"You can't change the past though." His lips curled with a twitch of a phantom smile. "And my cousin lived to spite the odds pitted against him."
Pride overcame grief. A tangled ball of satisfaction at those words. A warmth as bright and true as the sun's honest rays danced in his voice.
"That's good to hear." Yue agreed and reached out, a daring hand stroking along his side to brush some of the debris off of his clothes. Lu Ten smiled, grateful for her efforts at least as he smoothed his hands over his outfit, looking more the part of some dockside laborer.
"Thank you." He hummed.
"For what?"
"Not killing me for starters." He laughed, gentle and kind. "And for listening to a hopeful fool."
"I don't think it's so foolish to hope for the safety of a loved one." She admonished. "Your cousin is lucky to have someone that cares so much for him."
He nodded, that smile still playing on his lips so gently. It drew her in and convinced her to shed some of her guarded layers. Lu Ten was an odd man, charming and easy going despite her honest threats. He wasn't ruffled by her aggression or dismissive of it either. He just treated her like an equal. Like a comrade. It was an odd feeling for her to experience from a complete stranger like this, especially a man of clearly military status. He wasn't rude or arrogant like the Earth Kingdom soldiers she had met before, or condescending like their officers often were towards her and her crew.
"If it's no trouble to you, allow me to buy you a cup of tea as an apology?" His words came sweetly, genuinely apologetic as his face softened. He gestured towards a tea house down the street with its distinctive sign out front promising local brews to the thirsty populace.
"I thought you soldier types were more fond of taverns?" She prodded gently in return, somewhat challenging as she was often reminded of the notion that women were a rare presence in such establishments unless they were selling some form of service to the rowdy drunkards that gathered to drown in their cups.
Lu Ten hummed, undeterred by the tone she carried as he fondly recalled his words like a warm memory. "My father raised me to cherish the art of making tea as one of life's most honest pleasures. It is a true delight if that art is shared with an interesting stranger."
She chuckled, amused and light as it drifted from her throat. "It sounds like you have a peculiar family."
He offered her his arm to guide her towards the alley, his lips quirked into a broader smile. "Oh, you have no idea."
Intrigued, she accepted the gentlemanly gesture and followed him towards the tea house. To her great surprise, Lu Ten wasn't kidding in the slightest when it came to tea. His knowledge was heartwarming and impressive as he talked about the local brews and crops in the area, mentioned fond memories of coming to this port before with his father and playing pai-sho with a one armed scraggly bearded man from the swamp tribes.
"His name was Hue." Lu Ten snickered. "And he lost his arm to an unfortunate noodling incident with a catgator."
"Really?"
"Yes." Lu Ten smirked. "He could still play a mean banjo. I couldn't believe it myself at the time but he could do it with his feet."
"You're jesting." Yue's eyes widened in honest disbelief. She had never met any of the people from the Foggy Swamps but had heard a sparse few tales of their unorthodox lifestyles. Judging by the stories that Lu Ten told her, those rumors came in a new light that was entirely genuine and she was shocked. Quite curious as well.
"And this one armed swamp man taught you how to play?" She inquired.
Lu Ten nodded as he lifted his tea cup to his lips with a care and serenity that was so otherworldly compared to the other patrons of the shop. He cradled the cheap ceramic as if it were made of gold and held it with reverence as he took a delicate sip. He savored every drop, he relished the steam that drifted up and soothed his earlier grief with a balm of fond memories that washed over him. His shoulders relaxed considerably, losing that stiff military posture as he sagged but didn't slouch. He looked comfortable, as if he were more in his element here among the common people in this little tea shop surrounded by so many pleasant things.
She couldn't help but admire him for it. It was breathtaking in an odd way. The slacken curve of his jaw and the gleaming gold of his eyes. The slightly disheveled braid of his hair that he never really bothered to fix which was endearing on it's own. He gave her all of his attention when she spoke, and listened to her words and her own stories with vivid enthusiasm. His eyes never passed over her or lingered on the surface of who she was like so many others. She felt seen for the first time in years.
It started a soft blush creeping along her cheeks as she lifted her own cup to sip at delicately, an echo of her princessly ways.
"I'd love to show you it someday." He offered. "Perhaps we could keep in touch?"
"Yes." She agreed, then quickly amended. "And if I hear anything about your cousin, I'll be certain to pass it on."
His expression fell just a touch at the grim reminder, but that fleeting hope returned like a candle flame in his eyes. It had the potential to grow and spread, but was stifled to the limitations of its wick so as not to consume him and leave him burned when it was finally snuffed out. She understood that feeling. That painful desperation for something that she couldn't allow herself to have. A hope for a better future. A hope for things to turn out different.
It was greedy and all consuming when she allowed it to be, and so very painful in the aftermath when that hope began to die and left her cold and bitter in the aftermath. She knew that hope could only do so much, that without action it can not be achieved. It hurt more to watch someone else hope and fight, to take action even while knowing it was fruitless and no matter how much effort Lu Ten put into it, there was no chance that he would be able to reach his cousin like this. Only time and careful planning can save him, and she prayed to the spirits that he won't ever let that spark of hope die.
"I would really appreciate that, Yue." He gently set the tea cup down and bowed his head to her, low and appreciative in a very Fire Nation way. She stiffened, hoping nobody else in the shop was paying attention. This was not a Fire Nation friendly port and she feared for this reckless man's safety. "Thank you."
A bold move, she realized before she could stop her body from reaching out and cupping his chin. Lifting it gently, she smiled reassuringly when her eyes met the dewy honey droplets of his. "Of course, Lu Ten."
Call her reckless but she traded contact information with the soldier before they parted. She veered towards the docks feeling lighter in her heart and heavy on her feet, and glanced back long enough to see that strange man vanish into the bustling crowd once more. She turned her attention back on the docks, scoping out La's Revenge with its intricate orca engravings carved into the bow. As she headed for the gangplank, she could hear the playful laughter of her daughters as they squealed and raced around the deck with Yuka's daughter, Haixai and a few other little girls with their hair recently braided with little colorful ribbons tied in them. Jaihao was seated on a crate, a bundle of these same ribbons resting in his lap as he worked a red one into her own daughter's hair as she sat, vibrating with barely contained excitement.
Atka, the youngest of the two, was babbling and wailing with glee as she raced after Jaihao's son, Hairu, with indigo ribbons dancing in the breeze holding her braids in place. Liuna was shifting restlessly to join the chaotic throng of children as Jaihao finished her neat bun with the bright red ribbon woven delicately in place to secure it all out of her face. Stumbling quickly to her feet, she launched herself towards Haixai to give her a big grinning hug and swing her around. Her green ribbons flowing in the wind around her double buns that her father had corrected.
Hairu had one blue ribbon tying his hair back in a hastily done, self made ponytail. Though he did have a white and blue ribbon braided together and tied around his wrist in a cute bracelet. The gaggle of giggling was music to her ears as she watched with fondness, settling easily on another large crate as she considered the future of her family and the choices she has made to this point. It was hard to foresee what would come to pass and prepare for this volatile unknown that had once haunted her waking dreams for so long, but her wings were free and the sea was beneath her feet and she could soar again. She was prepared to weather any storm that may come to ensure her children never have to face the docile imprisonment she had to. It was the least she could do.
Notes:
I really hope I did Yue justice in this. This was my first time writing her in depth and from her perspective. Yue is 24 just like Zuko and Sokka are and has two little girls.
Atka is the youngest at 2 1/2 and Liuna is 4 1/2 almost 5.
Haixai is 4 and her oldest brother Hairu is 12. They have two brothers, Haijie is 9 and Hailing is 7.
So yes. Yue is a water tribe pirate Queen in this. Her ship is La's Revenge. Her wanted poster moniker is Tui's Kiss and her crew has been dubbed the Daughters of the Moon.
She sails around with a mixed crew of mostly women with some men (the sons and husbands) that help keep her crew in ship shape and their ship going strong. It is filled with both Earth Kingdom and Water Tribe people.
She was married to Hahn but there was a lot that went down that had her saying enough is enough, especially when it started to affect her daughters so she left to find a better life for herself and her girls, along with a handful of other tribesmen and women that joined her.
Expect to see more Yue and Lu Ten in the future because that's a newly added relationship tag folks.
Thank you all! I know I said I probably wouldn't be posting anything tonight but when I'm stressed, I write and I couldn't help myself.
Chapter 21
Summary:
Back to our regularly scheduled Zukka shenanigans.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hey Sokka?” Li asked as they were helping Bato with hauling wood around behind Gran Gran’s house where the older tribesman was able to chop it up into neat piles they painstakingly arranged themselves. Hefting the newest armload, he carried it to the growing collection where Li could pull each piece from his grasp and lay it onto the stack.
“Hm?” He hummed, watching the way the soldier’s hair had fallen askew in front of his face where the morning breeze had ruffled it free from the confines of his loose ponytail. It was the second day since the feast and Aang had left the night before. They were still expecting Tekkeitsertok’s crew soon, hoping La would guide their sails swiftly. They weren’t entirely sure when he departed so it was hard to estimate their arrival.
Li tilted his head, exposing more of the puckered skin of his scar to the warm sun as he took the last couple logs from Sokka’s arms and placed them on the pile. Sokka dusted his hands off and flexed his shoulders to loosen their stiffness from the idle work and all their standing. “What are the rules on fist fighting with your charge?”
“.....” Sokka wasn’t necessarily expecting the soldier to ask that in such a casual way. It was with that same tone of voice that one would ask boredly about seal migration or whether the first snow will come early or late this year.
Hesitantly, he asked. “Why?”
Sokka inspected the little shrug that Li offered him at that, searching his expression for some give that might hint at what the smaller man was thinking. He didn’t think he did anything particularly offensive lately to deserve his prize’s ire. In fact, these last couple days have been quite nice in Sokka’s opinion. They were able to gravitate easily to one another in the brief moments when they could slip Gran Gran’s supervision long enough for close quarters cuddling and quiet conversations about literally anything that came to mind that didn’t involve work or expectations.
“Just curious on whether or not I’ll get the boot if I decide to deck you at any point.” Li answered, with the same nonchalance as his earlier question.
The warrior’s jaw dropped at that. His lips quirked into a small smile that steadily grew as he asked, studying the soldier’s reaction closely. “Li, are you trying to flirt or spar?”
The man turned bright red and sputtered indignantly at the insinuation of the former. Sokka raised his brow, his amusement growing as the man finally spat out with his chest puffed out despite looking a touch more ruffled for it. “Sp-spar!”
“I see.” Sokka chuckled and flexed his shoulders to loosen up a little more. He turned his attention back to where Bato was standing near the old stump they used for splitting wood on, waiting patiently for a new collection of logs to chop. His eyes honed in on the pair with a knowing look that told Sokka he had overheard the soldier’s question and was amused himself, eagerly awaiting the outcome of it.
“Well then.” The warrior started, searching the open yard around Gran Gran’s home for a good spot to go about this. He beckoned Li with a curl of his fingers to follow him. Bato had placed the axe down beside the stump and promptly made his seat upon it, his eyes still tracking them as they found the stamped down dirt patch that was worn bare by years of abuse between him and Katara, or himself and Bato or dad sparring similarly. There was rarely a year where it had time to mend the wear and tear of their roughhousing.
Li’s eyes sparked with anticipation as he shucked off his outer layer and set it to rest on the stump beside Bato. The older man tucked it securely under his thigh so it wouldn’t fall off into the dirt and waved him forward encouragingly.
“Ground rules?” Sokka asked.
“No going for the face.” Li offered as he moved to stand across from the warrior. “Or between the legs.”
“Fight ends when one surrenders or sheds first blood?”
“Surrenders.” Li affirmed, a confident grin spreading on his face before it smoothed into that cautious concentration that was so familiar for Sokka. He slid into an easy fighting stance that the tribesman had come to realize was common in the Fire Nation for their soldiers. It made them far more agile with their strikes and maneuverability while his own was more rooted and unmoving as he spread his footing.
Bato called the start of the sparring session.
Li was quick to jump into action before Sokka could even make the first move, rising with a kick that had the warrior stepping back to evade but as Li landed on one foot, his other leg was already coiled tight and spring loaded to slam a rounding kick towards his ribs. Sokka was forced to lower his arm to block the blow, reminded of the tenderness of his ribcage that had followed him for weeks after he’d been lashed at the end of the broken chain.
His right arm was already prepared to punch and he let it loose while Li was off balance with his kick. His leg set to the ground as he pivoted, raising one arm to block the inside of Sokka’s punch before looping an arm around his bicep. It happened so fast that by the time Sokka’s back hit the ground, he was left blinking up at the sky in confusion. He felt Li’s tight hold on his bicep as the soldier stepped into his body and then Sokka’s feet were no longer touching the ground as he saw dirt before blue sky mingled with curls of grey and Li was knelt over him grinning. He reached down and gave Sokka’s cheek a gentle tap, scrubbing his palm against the small bits of stubble that started to grow in that he dearly needed to shave, and stood up.
Bato’s bark of laughter was loud on the sidelines as Sokka collected himself enough to get back on his feet. “How in La’s name did you do that?” He blurted, staring at Li’s easy going smile as he pushed back to his feet.
“I used the momentum of your punch against you.” He explained casually.
“Huh.” He crooked his jaw and dusted the dirt off of his sleeveless tunic and shook his shoulders out, feeling the dull ache of hitting the dirt still tingling along his spine. “Alright then.”
He had no intention of being outdone by that twice. Back on his feet, he went for a close quarters charge, catching Li around the waist before he could recover. There was a forearm that pressed into his shoulders as the soldier was trying to root his own stance frantically but before he could drop enough of his weight down, Sokka had lifted him completely off the ground and had him slung over his shoulder and half hanging upside down over his back.
“Shit!” Li bit out as his hands pawed at Sokka’s back for leverage to get free. He had a hold of Li’s leg, ensuring he didn’t fall over the warrior and hit the dirt, just dangled like a flailing fish.
“Payback.” Sokka chuckled as he leaned forward and dragged the soldier back down to settle on his feet, steadying him with a hand on his shoulder as Li frowned up at him.
“Dirty trick.” He huffed.
Sokka gave his right cheek a gentle pat, mirroring the one Li gave him as he smirked. “There are no rules in a fight for survival.”
Li rolled his eyes and resumed his ready stance. They threw blow after blow after that, each match getting increasingly more creative as Li threw kicks and Sokka deflected or evaded. Sokka would charge, throw strong armed punches or leverage his considerable size against Li, making the soldier have to work much harder to get him off his rooted stance and onto the ground. He was creative at least, as the warrior was impressed with the wide sweeping arc of his legs windmilling Sokka’s out from under him after the warrior’s elbow strike had sent him off balance onto the ground. Li didn’t let the match end there as he took Sokka’s legs and sent him into the dirt, while simultaneously rising to his own feet with his body settled in that ready stance, prepared for the next attack.
Sokka was very impressed and as they each took turns taking each other down in various degrees of indignity, the warrior was starting to get a decent picture of Li’s fighting style. He was far more defensive than combative. All of his strikes worked to disarm or off balance an opponent but he rarely was the first to engage unless it was kicks, and even then, it was to force Sokka’s own assault back and create space. He was quicker to evade or block blows, working around fists thrown and elbow swipes. When he took Sokka to the ground, he would back off almost immediately, wary and watchful for the next attack.
He estimated that Li had calculated the warrior’s size into consideration and often avoided any form of ground fighting. Which was smart on the soldier’s part. He could imagine as well, that Li was more accustomed to having his swords on hand so taking an opponent to ground could easily be kept there with a blade at their throat like he’d done to the Earth Kingdom soldiers they fought beside back on the continent.
Rising to his feet and dusting himself off with a groan, Li cocked his head with a curious glance, allowing his posture to relax and unwind a little. They were both a little dirty and disheveled but the red flush on Li’s face and the brightness in his eyes as his mouth curled into a pleased smile was certainly worth it. It helped burn away that restless energy they had both been wrestling with these last few days and it felt good to put these muscles to use again.
They resumed their skirmish which led to Sokka getting Li into a headlock from behind just as his dad’s voice called from the path leading down to the docks. They both froze in place, Sokka’s arm still wound around Li’s neck as he tightened it on his bicep just enough to be present but not choke. Li had gone rigid under his hold at the sound of the Chief.
“Sokka! Li! What are you two doing?” Hakoda called fretfully in their native tongue, taking the worn dirt track with a shorter white haired tribesman by his side. Sokka had enough time to recognize it was Tekkeitsertok before Li grabbed his bicep and dropped down onto his right knee, twisting his whole body and sending Sokka sprawling across the ground in a graceless heap. All of the air was knocked straight from his lungs as he gasped and spied the anxious smile on the soldier’s face. His gaze flitted back up, apologetic now as he offered Sokka a hand to get back to his feet. He returned a reassuring smile to his nervous little fire ferret and gratefully accepted it.
As they dusted themselves off, Sokka turned his attention back on the two tribesmen approaching them. Tekkeitsertok was a couple inches shorter than Hakoda but built broad and wide like a polar bear, with long white hair that was decorated with green, red, gold and blue beads neatly woven into half a dozen braids that were captured and threaded into a warrior’s wolftail. The morning light hit the colorful array of glass and seemed to make his hair sparkle with the dancing reflections that streaked through it. He had a long jagged cut across his left cheek from just above the corner of his mouth that arched diagonally up towards the lobe of his ear. It was a few years old and still looked pink and shiny against the darker tone of his skin.
“Sparring a bit.” Sokka answered in the same tongue once he caught his breath and casually dusted himself off to smooth his rumpled tunic before extending his arm to the fellow chief in a traditional water tribe greeting, forearm to forearm. “It’s good to see you again Chief Tekkeitsertok.”
The older Chief’s voice was gravelly and deep, like the low rumble of a polar bear as he gave a hearty laugh and squeezed Sokka’s arm companionably. “It is a pleasure to see you again as well Sokka. You’ve grown into quite the warrior since the last time I saw you.” Their arms unfurled as he lifted his hands to grip Sokka's shoulders, his grin spread, scrunching the scar on his face as it crinkled unusually where the skin had grown tight over time. It reminded him of the stiff hardened way that Li’s scar manipulated his own features into a scarcely changing landscape no matter how expressive his right side was.
Sokka couldn’t stop the broad grin that danced on his lips as he nodded respectfully then gestured to the soldier shifting nervously by his side. “This is Li.” He slipped out of the water tribe and back into Fire Nation, finding his tongue moved with more ease over these syllables than they had over a month ago. “Li, this is Chief Tekkeitsertok.”
The stiff military posture returned as he bowed low and respectful towards Tekkeitsertok in that overly familiar Fire Nation way that Sokka was inevitably becoming so used to, even though it pained him to see the soldier slip into that negative space of neutrality like a set of cramped armor.
“It is an honor to meet you, Chief Tekkeitsertok.”
Tekkeitsertok’s expression was warm towards Li, but Sokka noticed the calculating way his eyes followed his every move. Had Sokka not known that Tekkeitsertok had taken nine war prizes for himself these last six years, he would have mistaken it for a warrior assessing a threat and not a man reading the story beyond the golden eyes and pale skin. His studious gaze shifted just a touch as he held a hand out to the soldier as Li rose from his formal bow. Li looked at the hand with confusion and hesitantly offered his own. Tekkeitsertok locked arms with him and pulled him closer as they stepped into each other’s space. It took a few seconds before awareness clicked in Li’s eyes and he returned the firm squeeze.
“There you go!” Tekkeitsertok chimed with a huff of satisfaction, his voice coming out even lower and far more gravelly as he worked his way around the awkward set of Fire Nation words on his tongue. “We’ll make a tribesman out of you yet.”
Sokka smirked as Li’s face turned a bright shade of pink and that stiffness melted away from his posture, easing into something fond and a bit ruffled in the way he often got around the rest of the crew. Like he wasn’t quite sure how to orchestrate himself but he felt a little more comfortable knowing where he stood in regards to those around him. Bato had joined them, taking his stance on the other side of Sokka as he greeted Tekkeitsertok. Sokka looped a casual arm around Li’s shoulders and tucked him close to his side, giving him a firm squeeze of encouragement as he unraveled just a fraction more beneath the warrior’s hands.
The warrior amused himself at the disheveled state they were both in and noted the little bruises and scrapes that had littered both of their arms from their tussle back and forth. He suspected they were really going to be feeling it later but for now, Sokka felt comforted as Li leaned his weight into the warrior’s side as an open invitation for the quiet reserved affections as he trailed his fingers along the soldier’s ribcage in small subtle motions up and down. The rest of the men appeared distracted enough to miss the gesture or were politely ignoring it as Sokka half listened to Tekkeitsertok discuss the trade and mention his meeting with the elders beforehand as was customary of a visiting Chief to their tribe.
Hakoda was more than happy to lead Tekkeitsertok to the meeting room, but stopped long enough to inspect his son and the soldier.
“You two should get cleaned up. Li, you have to report to Hama. Sokka, I expect you to join us shortly.” Sokka nodded his affirmative as the two Chief’s headed along the path into the village. Bato turned to look them both over with a critical eye and raised a brow.
“What?” Sokka asked, returning the look with one of challenge, daring the older man to comment on their current position. He could feel Li as he started to shift uneasily against Sokka under the new scrutiny. His body began to list away, drawing back out of Sokka’s touch. It made the warrior bristle inwardly about the seemingly invisible threat that loomed over them both to keep them apart. Sokka narrowed his eyes, meeting Bato’s gaze before the man heaved a sigh of resignation and gestured towards the path.
“You both should get looked over by Hama before you go anywhere else.” He urged.
Sokka relaxed a little and nodded, a curt bob of his head as he reaffirmed his casual embrace of the soldier and started to steer him towards the healer’s hut. Li melted back into the touch, his head cocked to peer over at Bato with confusion as if gauging the seriousness of the situation. Finding a lack of concern, he followed briskly at Sokka’s side, matching the tribesman’s long legged strides before he slowed enough to give Li a break. Bato was tailing behind them several paces, keeping them in clear view as they walked.
“Why do I need to report to Hama again?” Li asked hesitantly, turning his attention back up towards Sokka. Sokka slowed their steps to a crawl as he tilted his head to catch the soldier’s puzzled expression as he was forced to turn his head more to get him in line of sight with his good eye.
“Oh, right.” Sokka huffed, feeling the heat of embarrassment creeping up along his face. “Must be nobody told you with all the excitement. You’ll be apprenticing under Hama as her assistant for a few hours every day.”
“I will?” He looked skeptical about that.
Sokka nodded. “You’ve shown a knack for basic medical care and that’s something we lack currently. It’ll make you a stronger asset to expand your knowledge.”
“I see.” There was a quiet acceptance with that that made Sokka stop in his tracks. Li took a step ahead of him, almost pulling completely out of Sokka’s half embrace before adjusting back into his touch so they were side by side again.
“Is that something you feel you might thrive in?” Sokka asked carefully, watching Li’s expression and taking note of his posture and the way his weight shifted on his stance to lean more into the warrior or away from him. Li simply nodded his approval.
“If after a few days you feel you don’t like it, then you’re more than welcome to voice your thoughts and we can find a new task. There is always work to be done around the village.” He explained slowly.
“I know.” He sighed. “And I appreciate the opportunity.”
When the conversation didn’t seem to be going anywhere, and Li had remained relaxed and easy going under Sokka’s gentle carding fingers still sliding along his ribcage, they picked their pace back up and resumed the walk to Hama’s.
Bato was quick to catch up with them as they shuffled through the front door and were hit with the sharp herbal aroma of ground plants and the light smoky scent of the fire. The older man quietly handed Li’s parka back to him, murmuring in Fire Nation. “You forgot this.”
“Oh. Uh...thank you.” He looked conflicted between the urge to pull it back on out of habit and the more practical notion to leave it off until after they finished with Hama’s inspection. They were dirty and sweaty and a bit scuffed up in places making them stiff and tender but neither of them felt the urge to complain. Sokka was always more than willing to tussle and test his reflexes against a challenging opponent and Li was certainly one heck of a challenge.
“What did you bring me now?” Hama called, turning to greet the three men at her door with a snowy brow raised incredulously. She shuffled closer to Li and Sokka, taking them in with wizened eyes that seemed to judge their sorry state with a firm dismissal. “Go sit down you rascals.”
Bato snorted in amusement and watched the two men as if joined at the hip by this point, settle onto the cot. Sokka couldn’t help the territorial edge that demanded he keep Li within touching distance at all times, and the soldier didn’t appear the slightest bit bothered by his overbearing nature. As Sokka sat on the cot, Li sat with his back against the tribesman's side so he could lean back a little and tuck both of his legs underneath himself in a lotus pose. His parka was lying bunched in his lap as he inspected the scrapes on his knuckles and the bruises on pale wind nipped arms.
“What did you do now?” She asked, her tone directed at Sokka as she collected a small bottle and a basin of water with a rag then moved to look them both over once more. He recognized the container as being full of a pungent medicinal salve he was all too familiar with. At her beckoning hand, Sokka offered his own bruised and battered knuckles for her inspection before she started the tedious task of cleaning the dirt from each before applying the salve.
“Just a bit of sparring is all.” Sokka huffed.
Hama rolled her eyes at that, never lifting her gaze to meet the young warrior’s as she worked, brows focused and intent as she worked. “If you two plan on making this a habit, then it’s a good thing Li is beginning his work today.” She clicked her tongue, drawing the soldier’s attention to her work as his good golden eye inspected the process with a brief flash of recognition.
“Is that chamomile?” He asked, giving a tilt of his head in question.
Hama made a sound of surprise and amusement. “Chamomile and mint.” She held the salve up for Li to inspect the bottle, He took a little on the tip of his fingers and gave it a sniff, his lips twitching in curiosity.
“Medic Murei always used a mixture of chamomile and arnica for injuries. It was more abundant when supplies were low and made a more versatile oil.” He placed the bottle back down and watched her hands work to dab at the scrapes along Sokka’s knuckles and moved towards the bloody abrasion along his elbow. He hissed at the sting of the lukewarm damp cloth that dabbed gently around the tender skin.
“I apply arnica oil for muscle injuries. When it's warmed up, it reduces inflammation and tension in the affected area.” Hama explained, a delighted spark ignited in her old eyes as she finished her work on Sokka, seemingly ignoring the young warrior now as she turned her full attention on Li. The soldier wasn’t at all bothered by her scrutiny or the more enthusiastic engagement in conversation as they easily fell into a deep discussion of plants and practical applications during times of duress when resources were scarce and they had to make do in the moment.
Much of it, Sokka was struggling to keep up with, trying to track the names of plants that he wasn’t familiar with in the Fire Nation tongue, but Hama appeared to recognize its name in any language and carried through with little hesitation.
Bato leaned over, quietly interrupting the discussion to ask if Sokka was good to go. Hama waved them both off with a brisk shooing motion, never wavering from what she was telling Li as she cleaned the blood from his palms where rocks had scraped his palms.
“Come on, Sokka.” Bato huffed in amusement and waved him to follow.
Sokka rolled easily up to his feet but lingered a moment as he glanced back at the soldier and the rare moment of relaxation he displayed with someone that wasn’t him. It caused a conflicted knot to tangle up inside Sokka’s gut that he wasn’t really sure how to parse out the meaning behind. He should be happy knowing that Li felt comfortable enough to be left alone with others, that he trusted the rest of the tribe slowly but surely, and that he was getting along with someone else outside of his family. Still, he harbored a peculiar reservation that Bato seemed to catch as his hand patted Sokka’s shoulder and started to steer him out the door and into the afternoon light breaking through the clouds. He squinted against the exchange until his eyes could adjust and frowned.
“He needs to learn to walk among the tribe on his own.” Bato assured him, his voice low and gentle at the warrior’s side.
“I know.” He huffed out, feeling a touch bitter about that regardless of the reality of it all.
“It’d do you both some good to be apart for a bit.” He added, giving Sokka’s shoulder a firm squeeze. It took a moment before the tribesman relinquished the tension wound through his body and sagged under the older man’s touch.
“I know.” He sighed heavily. “I just worry about him.”
“He may stumble at times but he adapts quickly, Sokka. He’ll be fine and when he isn’t, he knows where to find you when he needs you.”
That was enough to force the last of his reservations away as he let his mind shove aside his worries and focused on the future trade with Tekkeitsertok. Lifting his chin, he picked up his stride and set his mind on the task his father had given him. A perfect distraction, at least he hoped.
The meeting was being discussed in the Council Chambers, but only Gran Gran, his father, himself and Bato attended with Tekkeitsertok. His crew was back on the docks stretching their legs and mingling with the rest of the villagers that stopped by to greet them. He spotted Alik chatting up Tekkeitsertok’s oldest son, Tulok. He was the Chief’s only biological child, but the eldest of ten kids in total, and was just three years older than Sokka.
The chief had a total of seven boys and three girls. Six of those had been war prizes from the first year the Water Tribes joined the Earth Kingdom in their battle against the Fire Nation colonization along the western coast. Three of them came the following year, all of which were war orphans trying to survive on their own. They each had their own reason for joining the older Chief and returning with him to the South Pole, and each had their own struggles they still battled even in the safety of the tribe.
Sokka often wondered if Li would still war with those same internal battles he kept so carefully hidden away from the rest of them. He wanted to help, but knew, as it had always been, that Li will learn to ask when he is ready. When he feels like he can trust himself as well as Sokka and let him in little by little. Every little glimpse was a victory in his mind as he saw more and more of the man, both the good and the bad.
Gran Gran had brought drinks of warm cider for them all to share, seated comfortably on the cushions around the private room with the plush furs layered carefully about. Tekkeitsertok settled easily amidst the collection with as much ease as if they were all relaxing in his own home. His easy going smile was creased at the corners where the old scar twisted his expression, much like Li’s always did.
“What have you brought us this time, Tekk?” Hakoda asked amicably in their native tongue as he set his tankard down by his side. Tekkeitsertok took a greedy gulp of his own drink before answering with a growing grin.
“An orca, my friend.”
“You went hunting for it?” Hakoda’s eyebrows raised in shock.
The older chief shook his head and sighed wistfully. “La has blessed us. It beached itself upon our shores and our hunters were able to dispatch it for a plentiful harvest.”
“Good fortune indeed.” Hakoda chuckled, settling his palms against his knees as he relaxed. “And what would you like from us this time?”
“I’ll trade oil and caribou hide for seal skins and more of those writing supplies you’ve been bringing back from the Earth Kingdom.” Tekkeitsertok offered.
Hakoda nodded. “We picked up plenty on our way back. The Southern Air Temple sent an abundance of moon peaches from their last season, if you’re interested. Perhaps for some of the whale meat?”
“That can be arranged.” Tekkeitsertok raised a hand to stroke along his jaw in thought. Sokka knew they were mapping out the groundwork for their trade. Offering up what the tribe had in abundance first, before narrowing down quantity versus value. The whale meat and oil was of higher value than moon peaches, but seal skins and the calligraphy utensils were much harder to come by and worth far more in the long term than the fruits. The oil would help them both by its practical use for lamps and other tools, but also cooking and medicinal uses. It was harder to come by due to the extremely dangerous nature of whaling itself.
They talked for half an hour, giving estimations and sharing information about other supplies or resources. His dad told Tekkeitsertok about some new kinds of carpentry tools they picked up from the northernmost part of the Earth Kingdom that were proving to be quite useful with shipbuilding. They were safer or made the work go by faster.
“I estimate we could replicate it in no time and provide far more to your village come next spring if you find it of value to your people.” Hakoda explained. Tekkeitsertok gave a hearty laugh of approval and grinned.
“Your generosity is appreciated, Hakoda.”
The talk continued, with Gran Gran offering the occasional question or input on a subject. Tekkeitsertok greeted her concerns with a serious answer, and humored her curious questions in regards to how Uki and the children were doing.
“Leyla is to marry come spring.” The older chief cheered, his eyes going soft with fondness. Sokka perked up, thinking back to the timid Fire Nation child soldier that had accompanied Tekkeitsertok and Tulok to their village a couple years ago. She had heard about Lady Ezra’s presence in the village and her decision to stay and marry Kodiak. She had been quiet when she first arrived, barely above her seventeenth year but quickly grew out of her timid streak. She had learned to shed her reservations and grew stronger, becoming a ruthless protective yet compassionate woman who cared for her younger adopted siblings. All of which were hardly older than fourteen at the time.
“Oh?” Gran Gran hummed. Sokka recognized the gleam in her eyes like an otter penguin chasing a lame fish in the waves, she scoured after the opportunity for gossip. “Who is the lucky fellow?”
“You remember Shin? He joined our tribe about two years ago.”
“Ah, yes. He’s a trapper now, isn’t he?” Bato asked, reaching for his tankard to take a drink. Sokka’s was still clutched tightly in his grasp for something to fidget with as he observed. He understood this was a learning opportunity that his father wanted him to be a part of, but he couldn’t help feeling bored with the idleness of it all. There was a whole lot less for him to focus his thoughts on than he would like. He tried to recall the name they were discussing but gave it up when nothing rang a bell. He couldn’t even put a face to it, which made him wonder if he had ever actually met the man. The name sounded Fire Nation so that fact alone was probably a no. The only Fire Nation people he met among their tribe were Lady Ezra and Tekkeitsertok’s children.
“He is.” Tekkeitsertok confirmed. “He accompanied me and my boys this trip so you’ll be sure to see him by the docks.”
“I’ll be sure to offer my congratulations then.” Hakoda chuckled. “It looks like it’s going to be another busy spring this year.”
There was a rush of chatter as Sokka started tuning the conversation out now that it drifted towards tedious gossip, talk of babies born and the migration of the caribou and their numbers this year compared to last year. It droned on for quite some time with the occasional hearty laughter from chiefs or Bato, and the eye crinkling smiles of Gran Gran.
“I hear you’ve brought back your first war prize, Sokka.” The chief’s words startled him out of zoning out, causing his attention to snap up from where he had been staring at the cooled drink in his grasp. His cheeks warmed with a soft flush of embarrassment as he offered an apologetic look when Gran Gran’s eyes narrowed at him with disapproval.
“Uh, yes sir. Li.” He shifted awkwardly, realizing all eyes in the room were on him and suddenly he felt that overly familiar urge to shrink back like he’d made a mistake and all the adults were silently judging him. “You met him earlier.”
“Mmhmm.” Tekkeitsertok hummed knowingly, his lips twitched into a smirk. “He’s got fire in him.”
Sokka snorted in amusement. “Oh, you don’t even know the half of it.” Bato chuckled by his side as Sokka continued. “He’s a feral fire ferret is what he is.”
That ensnared Tekkeitsertok’s attention and offered Sokka the reprieve from boredom that he had been itching for as the older man asked about the trip back to the village with Li, and how he was adjusting. The warrior had more than his fair share of stories to tell as he preened about his peculiar little war prize and his fiery attitude.
Zuko spent the last four hours going over plants and mixtures, practicing his conversions and dosages, and memorizing the Water Tribe words for plants he only knew by their Earth Kingdom names. It was fulfilling, busy work to say the least and Hama was impressed with his quick grasp, even if his pronunciations in Water Tribe could use some work. His tongue still got all tied up on some sounds and she would greet his flustered expression with a breathy laugh before slowly repeating it again.
“Your word recognition is at least good.” She admitted, giving his arm a gentle pat when he was starting to feel frustrated with the continued trouble. “That’s what’s important here.”
Zuko nodded, letting his shoulders sag in defeat as he turned back to the scroll he was jotting notes down onto. She had given his imperial style a quick glance and smirked with that knowing look in her eyes that always seemed to leave him floundering, wondering what exactly it meant but she never would elaborate.
“Your handwriting is probably the best in the whole village.” He couldn’t help the little flutter of pride that sparked in his chest as he nodded, letting his lips twitch into a small sheltered smile.
“Thank you.” He fidgeted with the brush in his grasp and inspected the conversion ratios he had been practicing earlier. There were some he wasn’t familiar with as they adjusted from Fire Nation measurements to Earth Kingdom measurements. Except when it came to measuring temperatures, then it was backwards. Hama had explained the reason why as all their medical texts listed temperature in the Earth Kingdom format, but the type of tool they used for counting it was of Fire Nation origin and lacked the Earth Kingdom markings.
That was a bit more confusing for Zuko considering he knew the common Fire Nation measurements but the Earth Kingdom ones had him puzzled. It was times like this that made him really really wish the Water Tribe had their own measurements and written alphabet. He really did.
He was jostled out of his contemplation of his notes, trying to find if there was anything more he should add to it from today when the door opened, and an unfamiliar voice called out, rudely in Fire Nation informal. The accent was something that Zuko had often heard from soldiers who were raised in mixed households of Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom, with how they hung on the vowels or pressed harder on certain consonants than others. “Oi Hama!”
The prince withheld the urge to flinch at the sudden noise, but he did bristle at the noisy intrusion that showed little respect or formality for the other occupants in the building. What if there were sick patients trying to rest? It was completely inappropriate for this kind of place. Though, Zuko hadn’t seen a single person visit the healer’s hut since he’s been here other than himself and Sokka. Hama had explained that work was slow right now but it would pick up in the winter months.
He wasn’t really sure why that was, but nodded in understanding all the same.
“Shin.” The healer greeted in that casual way she often did to everyone in the village. Zuko turned his good eye to inspect the man. He was taller than both himself and the healer, but not nearly as tall as Hakoda or Sokka. Maybe more around Lady Ezra’s height, which was fitting for a Fire Nation soldier. He had more build in his shoulders and hips in a way that reminded him of an infantryman, perhaps heavy weapons judging by his build. He’d be perfect for that position, and if he was of the ragtag variety, he wouldn’t have much choice in where exactly he’s placed. If his commanding officers saw him the same way Zuko did, then chances are he was positioned in heavy weapons.
He hefted the large crate in his arms with ease before setting it near the healer’s main workstation so she could rummage through the supplies. “I brought whale oil and more dried herbs from the grazing grounds before the frost got ‘em.”
There was a sliver of pain that curled in the base of Zuko’s chest, making his lungs feel tight and achy when he realized the man spoke in a way that reminded him of scout Sheng when he gets riled easily and his accent slips away from the more proper one he had adopted in the military from his peers. Kit would always tease the older soldier for it, and watch him sputter as he scrambled over his words and tried to rein it back.
Shin had dark hair wrangled up in a messy half knot that wasn’t quite a Fire Nation top knot or a Water Tribe’s wolftail. To the prince, it looked like a lazy half attempt at the last minute to do something with it before he left the ship. A black goatee that reminded him of his father was growing in, trimmed short and sharpened along the wide plane of his chin. A cool hazel gaze turned to inspect Zuko, returning his speculative glance with an indecisive frown. It took a minute for the prince to realize his attention had fixed solely on Zuko’s scar and he withheld the urge to grimace and scowl back threateningly. Shin noticed he had noticed but didn’t drag his unwelcome staring away from the prince, making his skin crawl with unease.
“This’ll come in handy for the winter.” Hama interrupted their staring contest, her words sliding between them like a knife edge that made Zuko bristle in frustration before turning his attention back on the scroll. The ink was dry enough for him to roll it back up. “Is that all, Shin?”
“Oh! Uki sent this for ya too.” There was the sound of rummaging before Shin produced a carefully wrapped item from inside the large crate. Hama set it on her worktable to unfold it with care in her wrinkled old hands and unveiled a hand woven green shawl to replace the old faded one that she had previously worn.
“Be sure to send her my gratitude for the gift.” Hama chimed as her fingers ran along the soft material. Zuko shared fleeting glances at the pair in between cleaning up his mess at his own little worktable when the door opened. Judging by the continued chatter from Shin, it wasn’t a sign that he had left the hut, which caused Zuko to roll his eyes and dread that more of their visitors were pooling in.
“Li!” He supposed it wasn’t subtle in the slightest when his head snapped up fast enough to nearly jar his neck in the process when he caught Sokka’s voice beckoning him from the doorway. He twisted around to find Bato lingering behind Sokka in the doorway. “Hama, I’m stealing your assistant.”
The warrior strolled inside and crossed the room to grab Zuko’s parka abandoned on the empty cot he had been using earlier to lay textbooks across while he read and compared information on plants. He swung around to loop an arm around the prince’s shoulders and tucked him tight against his side in that companionable way that had him lowering his guard and easing the tension out of his body with the assurance that the larger man was present and he wasn’t alone in dealing with idiots.
Hama waved them off flippantly. “Send him back again tomorrow. Same time.”
Sokka waved with the hand still holding Zuko’s parka and chuckled. “Can do.”
Zuko waited until they were outside before asking his question, noting that Bato had settled into stride beside them now. “Why are you stealing me?”
“I’ve made it a time honored tradition now to kidnap fire ferrets whenever I please.” That didn’t make any sense to Zuko whatsoever, and it took him a minute to catch on to what that implied.
“Did you just call me a ferret?”
Bato’s snort of amusement was barely contained as Sokka grinned like he had just shared a secret joke that Zuko had been missing for a while now. He was even more confused but the warm strong arm around his shoulders gave him a squeeze to quell any displeasure he may have felt at that and let himself melt against the warrior’s side.
Notes:
Thank you all for the wonderful comments! I'm really happy to know how many people have been loving the Lu Ten/Yue potential, and the fact Yue is a pirate in this universe. I was really nervous about how that would be received and its a relief to hear so many people excited about it.
I took a little longer to get this chapter out, cause I haven't hardly slept at all since Saturday and finally got this knocked out. I passed my test! I am now a blackbelt in jujitsu! Thank you all for the good luck wishes!
In this chapter, I wanted to flesh out more of the trade agreement and how trade works among the other tribes, as well as introduce some new key characters for the future of the plot.
Hakoda's village/tribe is known by their Wolf insignias.
Tekkeitsertok's are marked by a Polar Bear symbol
There are two other tribes, one's symbol is the orca and another is a caribou.
Hakoda is the head chief when it comes to the Water Tribes and the war effort currently. Years ago, it was Tekkeitsertok but then his attention was needed back home to care for his family and his people, so Hakoda took up the mantle.
Chapter Text
Zuko didn’t know how he felt about the group bathing aspect of Water Tribe culture, but he certainly had opinions on the fact that it appeared that every tribesman he came across was unfairly fucking attractive. Sokka had stolen him away from Hama to have a bonding moment with the Chiefs in the most Water Tribe way possible.
Steam bathing together.
Bato, Chief Hakoda, Chief Tekkeitsertok, Sokka and himself had gathered into the odd sauna after shedding their clothes in the dressing room, and Zuko got an eyeful of just how fit all three older men were. He thought Sokka was the exception, but no, apparently he was part of the overarching rule that all Water Tribesmen, regardless of age, look like they’ve been chiseled from stone. The dearly beloved seal fat that padded their bodies, which is what made Sokka such a lovely pillow to sleep on, faded whenever one of the men flexed or stretched, allowing the ripple of hard won muscle to spread out across their bodies.
Much like Sokka, Chief Tekkeitsertok had more bulk and build than either Hakoda or Bato, but he was possibly the largest man Zuko had ever met, aside from Uncle, but he doubted even Uncle Iroh could contend with this man’s size. What Zuko had assumed was padding made from the thick layers of warmer clothes had turned into a misconception on his part, and the man really did live up to Sokka’s joking comment that he was a walking polar bear, much like his village’s insignia declared.
Never in his life had Zuko felt so small and that not feel like a problem, but now he lacked the luxury to hide the interested glances that he shared around the room, because everywhere he looked, one of the men was seated and chatting amicably, telling stories and stretching pleasantly in the heat of the steam bath. He certainly didn’t miss Sokka’s smirk that was shot his way when Zuko’s face turned a bright pink that was most certainly not from the heat of the room. The other three men didn’t seem to notice as he tucked himself back until his hips were nearly touching the wall, and focused on the steadily rising temperature as Bato fed the stove this time around.
“So Li,” Tekkeitsertok’s voice rolled in that deep thunderous way that only seemed to grow stronger the more his words sank into the hearth of his chest. “Sokka tells me you’re quite the fighter, and an impressive swordsman. From what I’ve seen so far, I believe there is merit to that.”
This felt like an attempt at small talk, which Zuko was painfully pathetic at. He tucked his knees closer to his chest and nodded, letting his arms hang in a more relaxed position just for something to do with his hands. He had noticed the way Chief Hakoda’s eyes had caught on the old scars along his legs and the multitude of defensive wounds that littered his arms and chest when they were undressing in the previous room. Zuko had avoided turning his back on anyone out of habit and trailed the group in at the back with only Sokka behind him to close the door once they had crowded into the steam room.
To his credit, Tekkeitsertok wasn’t put off by his lack of conversation skills, and seemed to share an understanding look with him that made Zuko feel like he was missing something important. He fretted that the man was misreading something he thought he may have figured out about him, but without knowing what that was exactly, Zuko couldn’t correct it so he just fidgeted in place and thought about the way the dry heat draped around his body like a thick blanket and chased away the unpleasant chill of the world outside.
“Were you formally trained?”
“Uh, yes.” He grunted, then felt his face warm as his eyes met Tekkeitsertok’s blue grey gaze. He let it slide to take in the jagged diagonal scar of his cheek and winced in sympathy before letting his attention drop to watch as Bato fed the stove just for something safer to stare at that wouldn’t fuel the conflicted feelings he was warring with inside himself. “I had a master that taught me dual broadswords.”
“Dual broadswords?” The chief raised a brow at that, his lips curled into a soft chuckle that felt as warm as the heat rolling in around them from the fire. “That is quite the feat. I’m very impressed.”
Then, he asked after a moment, lowering his voice like it was a secret despite everyone in the room still being able to hear the depth of his voice rolling out around them. “You wouldn’t mind teaching an old dog a few new tricks, would you?”
His head snapped up at that, his good eye narrowed on the man with skepticism, but the smile there was genuine. The man wasn’t mocking him or teasing him. He was sincere and Zuko relaxed as he looked at Chief Hakoda with a question in his eyes. Would this be considered crossing a line? Hakoda was smiling as he gave a nod of encouragement. Sokka and Bato shared a similar look before he turned his attention back on the visiting chief.
“Sure. I don’t mind.” He admitted quietly, feeling the frayed edges of his confidence pick up a bit at that. He wasn’t the best at this sort of thing. Doing and teaching were two completely different things. Master Piandao had been so patient with Zuko when he started to learn, both with swordsmanship and close quarters combat. Ty Lee was a bit odd in how she taught, feeling too personal and intimate at times but he learned quickly and never gave up. Uncle Iroh and cousin Lu Ten had their own methods of teaching him that worked eventually, and he soaked information up like a sponge. Applying it sometimes was a struggle and he wasn’t even sure he could teach back well in the way that they all had for him but it was worth a try.
The bark of satisfaction was a little startling in the enclosed space as Tekkeitsertok was a very noisy man that could easily command a room. He was jovial in a way that made his intimidating appearance feel a lot less intimidating. Like Uncle Iroh, he could slip between stern and serious, to friendly and paternal with an ease that was jarring for anyone not accustomed to that type of exchange.
“Your accent, it's Calderan isn’t it?” He asked after another moment. His hand raised to stroke the white hairs of his beard where it grew along his jawline, thick but short. “One of my older boys came from the capital city as well. His mother died young and his father died in the war. Daichi had joined the same year he got the news. With nowhere else to go, he went into the service.”
Zuko nodded solemnly. It wasn’t the first time soldiers had been conscripted or joined simply because they had no other choice. It was either military work or living on the streets. At least in the service, they were guaranteed a bed of some form, a hot meal every day and clothes on their backs. He’s met men who joined at a young age, trying to make enough money to send back to help their siblings or parents survive the tough years. As well as those who joined because they didn’t want to be homeless or they were escaping cruel family members, or they simply hoped the war would take them and they could at least die honorably instead of living in shame. The war took everyone and Zuko felt sympathy for those men and women who chose this because it was better than whatever was waiting for them back home.
“Yeah, my family is from the capital.” He admitted softly, his voice lowering to just above a whisper as he lifted his eyes to find the chief’s sympathetic expression. The softness in his gaze, the quiet understanding that settled there. He felt seen without having to tell it all to the man. He felt understood in that rare way that so few ever did.
“If I may ask, why did you end up in the military, Li?” The whole room was listening now, watching him as he considered the answer. It was something he had questioned himself on over and over again. Each time the answer always changed, and each time he felt at a loss because it was never accurate enough to settle the conflict that stirred inside of him.
Was it because he wanted to serve his country proudly? No, even if that was the casual propaganda that was spewed to moldable youths staring up at ‘war heroes’ with awe. It was a beautiful lie for those too naive to understand the turmoil that war brings to everyone it touches. They didn’t know about the scars it cut so deep into every man that they could never truly escape its wrath.
Was it an escape? It was true that this was a chance to see the world and flee the confines of a palace he had spent his entire life in, but there were better ways to go about that. Far easier ones that would allow him to wiggle free of his father’s scrutiny. He could have even taken Azula or his mother with him with little to stand in his way. So no, it wasn’t for the escape.
To make a change felt close enough to the truth but Zuko could only really do that as the Blue Spirit, and that had begun on a whim after witnessing the injustice that his own people had brought to the nations. It wasn’t the real reason behind why he had joined.
Of course there was Uncle Iroh and Lu Ten, but they served in the navy and Zuko had only joined them after his first year in infantry in an attempt to avoid the continent as much as physically possible. The sea gave him a sense of freedom he had never felt before, and he missed it dearly for so many years.
After a minute of contemplation, he finally shrugged and quietly admitted. “I’m not really sure. I just….joined.” That answer drew a worried frown to Sokka’s brows, and Hakoda shared a similar conflicted look that Zuko couldn’t put his finger on. Tekkeitsertok just nodded, his reaction was minimal, understanding to a degree that made that weight on his thoughts dissipate a little more. This was something he was good at, even if he was horrible at leading and commanding. He was a good scout, he was a good fighter, at least good enough to survive this long with minimal issue, especially given his disability making things a touch harder than he expected. He adapted to his blind spot and made good work of not allowing it to take him too off guard.
The stove started to rattle in that way that told them all it was ready. They all arranged themselves in the most comfortable way possible to make space. Sokka was near Zuko’s head as he stretched out across his stomach. His face flushed as he watched the warrior stretch out with a pleasant groan beside him. Zuko prayed to Agni that he could keep it together until they were all clothed again and then maybe later he could find some way to deal with it on his own, if he can find the privacy and time for it. There was a quiet gasp that sounded like it came from one of the other tribesmen. He tilted his head and spotted the eyes of all three men staring at his back. His heart dropped in his stomach when he realized his mistake, but nobody commented on it as they continued to get comfortable and acted like they hadn’t noticed. It wasn’t a very good job considering Chief Hakoda kept sneaking sideways glances with a worried pinch of his brows. Bato and Tekkeitsertok had enough mind to lower their gazes and focus on the steadily mounting heat in the room.
The first splash of water on the hot pipe filled the whole room with that suffocating steam that took their breath away before Zuko could catch it back in his lungs and let it out in a measured exhale like his meditation exercises. Once his body adjusted, he surrendered to the comfortable warmth that crowded in on him and soon the rest of the men had fallen quiet and contemplative.
Sokka had told him earlier how the steambaths were a sort of Water Tribe competition of endurance to see who could last the longest before the heat became too much. As Bato pulled ladle after ladle onto the hot pipe, Zuko found the room comfortable in a way that was very like a Caldera summer with the level of humidity. It brought fond memories of cold treats and fresh fruity drinks seated on the beach with his mother and Azula, overlooking the blue waves that rolled against the sands from a crystal clear lagoon.
He was feeling that same drowsy relief as before as he listened to the idle shifting of the other occupants. Chief Hakoda and Sokka looked like they might end up being the first to skirt out of the room, both men directing similar looks of indecision and challenge between them that felt easy going. Sokka’s smirk was wavering a little when Hakoda appeared to steel his resolve after a sideways glance at where Tekkeitsertok was lounging comfortably and Bato was as cool as Zuko was. Sokka’s lips fell into a slight frown before his darting glance to the door was mournful.
He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes as if trying to mentally force himself to endure the climbing degrees. Hakoda's renewed resolve started to slowly crack as he shifted uncomfortably. Zuko was amused as he watched the two men struggle to force themselves to remain lying down just a little longer. The Chief was red faced and fidgety by the time he gave in and rose to leave. Sokka waited just a minute more, probably hoping he didn't look too eager before triumphantly following his father out.
That left Zuko, Bato and Chief Tekkeitsertok. With more space to stretch out, Zuko did so greedily as he draped his arms out in front of him and coiled his body in a pleasant arch eliciting a few pleasurable pops of his joints.
Bato let out a breathy chuckle before dousing the pipe with more water. The hiss of the steam was like music to Zuko's ears as he settled in comfortably. Tekkeitsertok held out quite a bit longer than Zuko expected before he started to rise and leave as well.
Zuko's eyes met Bato's as the older man raised a brow at him. An unspoken challenge. The prince returned it with an easy going smirk and made a show of getting comfortable on the hard wood, even rolling over onto his back so he could tuck his arms under his head and relax. A snort of amusement left the other's chest as he shook his head and stretched his long legs out, mirroring Zuko's ease.
They lasted maybe another ten minutes before Bato was starting to look a bit weary of the heat. He held on a little bit longer and added the last ladle to the pipe. They lingered a few more minutes before the older man got up to leave. Zuko stayed behind for a few more minutes and was beginning to feel the flush get uncomfortable when he decided that was enough time spent, and slipped out the door himself.
The cool air of the dressing room hit his face and nearly sent him to the ground with dizziness when a firm hand caught his shoulder to correct him. He glanced up when his knees gave a little, shaky as his head spun with the temperature change as Hakoda helped hold him up and guide him to the bench seat closest to the door.
"Easy now." The chief's voice was warm with amusement as he placed a water skin in Zuko's grasp and urged him to drink. "Small sips."
The prince nodded, obliging the command on autopilot until the spinning stopped and he could get his bearings. He could hear a bark of laughter that was unmistakably Tekkeitsertok as Sokka teased. "Looks like you're no longer the steam bath champion Bato."
The older Chief had fondly interjected. "I wouldn't expect any less from a Calderan! You're naturally outmatched there."
Bato rolled his eyes when the prince looked up and saw him nursing a water skin like he was. "I'll admit defeat this time."
Sokka grinned, his blue eyes alight with pride as he settled onto the seat beside Zuko and chuckled. "You holding up, buddy?"
"Yeah." Zuko hummed, then let his lips twist into a smirk as he added his own little rib towards the other tribesmen. "Was tempted to take a nice nap in there."
Sokka chuckled. "I honestly wouldn't put it past you to try."
Similar sounds of amusement danced around the room as they relaxed and cooled off before getting ready to clean up.
After the steam bath, Hakoda had led Chief Tekkeitsertok around the village a little more before they retired back to Bato's hut where his betrothed was diligently preparing a meal for the three of them. The smell of stewed sea prunes was heavenly as they stepped inside the cozy space and gravitated towards the prepared table.
They shared drinks and wisdom, though the deeper into their drinks they got, the less reliable the wisdom but it filled his heart with joy nonetheless.
Perhaps it was the booze that made Tekk so bold as to broach the topic they had all been apparently thinking of but afraid to approach since the baths. In their native tongue, Tekk spoke, his words lowered to something wary and somber, no longer the shadow of joy and mirth they had been moments ago.
"Was that your first time seeing Li's scars?" Hakoda swallowed the sweet drink as it burned down his throat. He set his half full tankard down and met Tekk's knowing gaze with a nod.
"Yeah." He sighed, weary with the weight of so much that hung on his mind these last few months. "Sokka discovered them early on but Li was never comfortable enough around any of us to turn his back or undress like that."
"I see." Tekk gripped his tankard as he stared mournfully at the empty bottom before setting it aside. "My youngest boy, Kenji, has similar wounds on his back. He was twelve years old at the time when Fire Nation soldiers caught him and a handful of other starving orphans stealing food."
It grew hard to swallow around that news, as Hakoda listened and saw the anger in his old friend's eyes. The tankard wood groaned under his tight grasp before he forced himself to release it.
"The Fire Nation only uses whips like that for petty offenses such as stealing, assaulting one of their officers or minor acts of insubordination within their own ranks. It marks a person for the crime they have committed against the military and in relation, the Firelord himself." Tekk explained with a darkness edging his voice. "They don't even care if it's used to punish children."
"That's horrific." Bato gasped out, strained between anger and shock, his eyes shifted from Tekk's towards Hakoda's. His lover looked about as sick as he felt right now, thinking about the small Earth Kingdom child under Tekkeitsertok's care. Afraid of the world so much that he refuses to even speak or leave his daughter Leyla's side.
Those scars were old on Li's back and Hakoda dreaded to know what crime he had been accused of before receiving them. Was he stealing food? Or did he mouth off to the wrong superior? Or was there something more there, something innocent and unwarranted. Was he punished unjustly, more so than this barbaric display allowed?
'Spirits!' He thought. 'No wonder he's so strung out when meeting authority figures.'
Hakoda felt nauseous at the thought as he was reminded of Sokka's past concerns that Li may have had someone force themselves on him at some point. Then add onto that the very jarring fear of anyone of authority being near, and the vague admission of an Admiral he accidentally killed in self defense. Perhaps there was more to this than any of them could stomach to know. If someone of higher rank had broken Li's trust in such a vile way, and punished him perhaps for trying to speak against it or defend himself….
He dragged in a deep shaky breath and felt it fill his lungs as he forced that tight sensation in his chest away. He didn't want to think about that now. Instead he tried to focus on the tenuous trust that Li had forged with others of the crew and how comfortable he was beginning to be around the village. The easy going nature that was slowly revealing itself the longer he spent time with Sokka and discovered that he could feel safe here. That nobody was going to hurt him here.
The somber mood didn't leave them as they refilled their glasses in an attempt to forget these cold painful revelations, and drank it away into the night. Hakoda led Tekk back to his ship where he and his crew were bunking for the night, with a promise to talk more in the morning.
When he returned to Bato's hut, he felt chilled right down to his bones and not even the sturdy arms of his lover could chase that chill away. It was not for lack of trying as they piled beneath the furs, with Hakoda's face firmly pressed into Bato's shoulder. Warm skin on warm skin, as he listened to the steady breathing and strong heart of his dearest friend.
Morning greeted Zuko with a restless need to do something that wasn't sitting in the living room waiting for the rest of the hut, aside from Kanna, to eventually rise. He was reminded of the wood they were chopping yesterday that was unfinished and with Kanna's permission, he donned his warmer water tribe blues that weren't quite made for winter yet. They had long sleeves and a little more padding, similar to his scout uniform, only less insulated, and allowed for better range of movement. He intended to warm the rest of the way up with hard work as he set the logs on the stump the way Bato had done before and swung the ax into each piece.
It was certainly something different to be doing that worked the muscles along his back and shoulders in a way similar to how his broadswords did but with more weight to the motions. It felt good as he chopped log after log until he had a nice pile accumulated. Setting the ax aside, he gathered the split pieces into his arms and started to meticulously place them in the growing pile, and repeated the cycle two more times.
His shoulders started to ache from the effort as muscles burned with weariness, just as a voice called from down the dirt path. Zuko nearly dropped the ax in alarm mid swing but hit the log regardless of his shock. It split right down the middle and fell off the stump as he rested the ax safely on the ground.
The man that had beckoned to him was the same one from Hama's hut the day prior. It took a minute for Zuko to remember his name, as the older man approached with casual strides and smirked. "Mornin."
"Morning." Zuko answered warily. Shin was dressed similarly to the day prior, in thick furs with tribal beading and bone adorning them. His hair was still in a messy half tie with a few strands falling into his face. "Shin, right?"
"Yeah." His smirk grew as he inspected Zuko closely. "I'm afraid I don't know yer name."
"Everybody calls me Li." Zuko answered, hoping he didn't sound too clipped about it. Oddly enough, he felt unsettled being around others from his nation here. He knew the risk of someone recognizing him was low, but since his conversation with Lady Ezra, it felt like the possibility had climbed substantially. But then again, she was Calderan nobility and intimate knowledge of the Royals and other nobles was part of playing the game.
Shin wasn't Calderan which meant he should be far safer than Lady Ezra was, but he couldn't shake the underlying anxiety he felt. Like he expected one of them to ambush him and call him a traitor to his homeland and drag him through the village for all to see his shame and his lies.
Reaching down to take the ax from where Zuko had left it, Shin took it in hand with more familiarity than Zuko had and nudged the prince out of the way. “Let me give ya a hand with this. Two work faster than one.”
Zuko relented at the offer, giving an appreciative nod as he gave his arms a break from swinging the heavy tool. He gathered the chopped pieces up and carried them to the pile as Shin worked his way with a similar ease that Bato had, clearing the logs far faster than Zuko was. His body flowed smoothly into the motions with every swing and the quiet thunk of the blade hitting the stump was monotonous in its repetition that he was able to relax.
“Have you been with the tribe long?” The man asked after a particularly stubborn log refused to budge with one swing. He had to lift the stuck piece up, still wedged on the blade before slamming it down into the sturdy surface of the stump where it finally broke apart.
“Not long.” Zuko answered. “A little over a month maybe?” It was hard to keep track of the time when he barely offered an ounce of attention to it these last few weeks. It was different from the boring idleness of the mountain pass as each day stretched uncomfortably long and he was left restlessly pacing. Here, he was always busy, always keeping his hands and his mind busy with something until he was almost too tired at the end of the day to make it through dinner before crashing early.
“Adapting well?” Shin asked on his next swing as Zuko collected the new pile of wood and resumed layering it on the growing heap that was climbing up the back of Kanna’s home. There was a small wooden overhang that sloped off the back of the house that helped shield the wood from the rain. Like the rest of the surrounding ground, it was packed with stones and dirt creating a base for it to sit above any water that might pool in around keeping it dry. It was a brilliant set up in Zuko’s opinion.
“A bit.” He admitted. “S’cold though.”
“Yeah.” Shin chuckled. “Took me ‘bout a year to get used to it. That first winter is always brutal. Don’t worry, Li. You’ll get along well.” He gave the prince a pat on the shoulder that was friendly enough, even if the firmness of his palm smacking his shoulder blade was enough to rattle him on his feet. It was strong but not necessarily unkind. It felt like being among his scouts again with Deirdre’s firm hand on his shoulder guiding him quietly with the silent promise to keep the younger man safe on his first run. The familiarity ached inside his chest, but was accompanied by that affectionate warmth of safe territory that he always felt among his own men.
“If ya ever need an ear to listen, you’re more than welcome to send me a letter. Tekk will make sure it reaches me.” Shin hummed pleasantly. His hand didn’t drop from Zuko’s shoulder right away as his hazel eyes fixed on the prince with a thoughtful look. Zuko wondered if he was going to say something more, he had that spark in his eye like he wanted to, leaning the bulk of his weight a little closer. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, a far more pointed voice interrupted.
“Need some help?” Zuko’s head snapped up to find Sokka slowly approaching from around the corner of the house. He looked a little disheveled like he just rolled straight out of bed and barely had enough time to put his clothes on right. They were still wrinkled and his hair was falling loosely in front of his face, framing his eyes to make them all the brighter in the faint morning light that made them shine. It chased away the shadows that curled along the curve of his throat and around the stubble of his jaw.
He felt his cheeks warm with embarrassment as he shifted away from Shin’s touch and cleared his throat to start gathering the rest of the split wood just to have his hands busy doing something when all they wanted was to card through Sokka’s hair and run a thumb along the short start of a beard that the warrior was growing now that they were home. Shin’s eyes met Sokka’s with a sideways smile as he stretched his shoulders and let the ax balance against his hip where it rested on the ground, the handle leaned along the side of his thigh.
“Mornin.” Shin greeted the tribesman. “Many hands make for quick work.”
“Of course.” Sokka grunted. Zuko frowned at the shortness of the other man’s tone towards Shin, not quite sure why that was other than maybe Kanna had roused him out of bed to go help the prince with the chopping. Which, Zuko sort of felt guilty for now. He didn’t necessarily need the help. He was handling it well on his own, and Shin had offered, but then again, Kanna wouldn’t have known that.
They resumed their earlier system of the day before where Sokka loaded his arms full with Zuko’s help and carried the split pieces to the back of the house where the prince could unload it out in a neat stack. Shin dutifully chopped until they finished the pile Bato had collected the morning prior. Dusting their hands off with a task suitably finished, Shin set the ax inside the lean-to beside all the rest of the wood and smiled at the two men.
“It was nice meeting ya Li.” He extended an arm towards Zuko that he recognized as the Water Tribe greeting. Zuko accepted it with a bit of uncertainty, but the firm grip of the larger man assured him he had done it right. “See, you catch on quick. That’s good.”
He wasn’t really sure how to take the compliment and just offered an appreciative bow of his head. Sokka’s arm slithered around the prince’s shoulders as he resumed their usual stance of being tucked side by side yet this time it felt a touch more forced and slightly claustrophobic compared to their past mingling. Shin didn’t seem to notice as he made his leave, but not before tossing a good natured reminder.
“Don’t be shy about writing to me. I’d be happy to hear from ya.”
Sokka’s grip tightened as Shin wandered further into the village like a man taking a casual stroll in the crisp morning air. Zuko tilted his head to catch the way Sokka’s eyes tracked him with a frown. Shifting uncomfortably under the warrior’s hold, he opted for a more pleasant distraction from whatever was bothering the larger man.
“We should probably see if Kanna needs help with breakfast.”
Sokka stiffened then shook the tension away that had him wired and taut all the way through. He tore his eyes away from the retreating figure of the Fire Nation citizen and focused on the prince with a softened expression. “Yeah. We probably should.” It took Sokka a minute to make his feet start moving towards the door to the hut though his arm never left Zuko’s shoulders until they were tucked away inside the home with the smell of something delicious sizzling in a pan of fat and vegetables.
Both their troubles were easily shed away at the prospect of hot food and full bellies.
“What’s got you all twisted up like a mink snake?” Bato huffed, noting the way Sokka was moving crates with a little too much force to be casual. He’s been a bit bitter all morning since he caught one of Tekkeitsertok’s crew making moves on his fire ferret. He couldn’t help the territorial edge as he pulled Li close and scowled at the intruder on his turf, making his claim known. The man either hadn’t noticed or genuinely didn’t care but either way, it had Sokka more growly than normal every time he caught sight of the man wandering about the village.
Thankfully, if he was where Sokka could see him, then that meant he wasn’t anywhere near Li as the soldier spent the afternoon studying medicine with Hama in the healer’s hut. His foul mood hadn’t been missed by his dad as he shot worried glances at Sokka in the brief moments they crossed paths while the two Chiefs were discussing a few things. Bato had steered him away to help do inventory on the new trade goods and sort through their supplies, giving the warrior a quiet place to stew on that nagging sense of worry that Li might actually be interested in the other man.
He certainly didn’t seem to mind letting him touch him in such a friendly way, and he didn’t snap and recoil back like he was prone to doing on the ship when someone other than Sokka got too close to him. It could just be the fact that this man was one of his countrymen, but then again, he was hesitant and wary around Lady Ezra as well so that didn’t quite fit the mold Sokka had come to understand as Li’s norm.
The problem was that the more he got to know the soldier, the harder it was to figure out what was genuinely the norm and what was weirdly Li in that frame of time. He still had his moments of being overwhelmed or shying away from interactions. He was skittish around Tekkeitsertok at times, while at others he was comfortable enough to not mind any physical touches or noisy greetings of excitement. It took him so long just to be comfortable with his dad and Bato, but this man was quick to put hands on Li when nobody else was around and Li didn’t attempt to break his arm off in the process.
It was confusing and frustrating and Sokka was bitter about the fact that he didn’t know enough to deduce whether this was a harmless encounter or the groundwork for something more and he hated that he couldn’t fight any of it. Because at the end of the day, it was Li’s choice as to who he wants to let in and accept affection from. He didn’t have to choose Sokka. He didn’t have to stay if he didn’t want to.
Then there came the dreaded thoughts he had tried time and time again to shove off in the late hours in the quiet when he had nothing to distract himself away from it. That maybe Li was putting up with him all this time, and was finally seeing an opportunity for something more. Maybe he’ll change his mind and leave Sokka to join Tekkeitsertok’s village or he’ll throw all his attention towards some other Fire Nation soldier that had joined them.
Spirits, or maybe he was just the type to swim around and try new things and meet new people. Sokka recalled the flustered looks he directed at the others in the steambath. Before it had been amusing to see the wide eyed stare as the soldier took in Tekkeitsertok’s bear like bulk, but maybe there was something else in his gaze that Sokka missed.
It felt wrong to make these kinds of assumptions but that insecure part of him worried that maybe he wasn’t enough for Li. He wasn’t fitting the expectations Li had for him or fulfilling a need he might find better suited elsewhere. Then there were the stupid rules that prevented them from even broaching this discussion before spring. Gran Gran was making it insufferable to try and get by day to day without judgmental looks and off handed glares of warning. For all he knew, maybe that scared the soldier away from him like being with Sokka was some big overarching taboo and they would never have the chance to be together even if the feelings were there. He wasn’t some plague riddled otter penguin left on the outskirts of a colony to suffer and starve.
Maybe he needed to show Li that he could be a worthwhile companion. He could provide protection and comfort, that was apparent already. But with winter creeping ever closer and the cold wind sweeping through the village, he felt he would need to show to Li that he could also provide him with food. Sure, they went on a hunting trip before but that was in the Earth Kingdom, and there were five of them chasing a Gemsbok bull together. He needed to prove himself as more than just a warrior, but a skilled hunter.
“I need to go hunting.” Sokka admitted after several minutes of ignoring Bato’s earlier question.
Bato stared at him skeptically. “That’s why you’re so riled up?”
“No.” Sokka leaned against one of the sturdy crates and turned to face the older man with a fretful sigh. Bato eyed him, waiting for the warrior to divulge his troubles but Sokka shrugged the look off and moved on. “How are the yak migrations this year?”
“They’ve had a strong calving season these last two years so they’re plentiful up in the hills. Why?”
‘Perfect.’ Sokka waved dismissively at the question. “Thinking of taking Li with me for his first official Water Tribe hunt.”
“Just the two of you.” It wasn’t a question and felt a touch more like a hesitant warning that edged the tip of Bato’s tone. The warrior shrugged and turned back to the crates they were organizing, moving the large containers of caribou hides with care. His voice shifted to something gentle and admonishing, a tired reminder already poised. “Sokka-”
“I know.” He snapped. “I just want to show him a part of our culture. Without everyone looming over us and judging.”
He ignored the wounded look on the older man’s face as he held his hands up placating the younger man’s irritable mood. “I understand.”
Sokka refused to feel guilty for it, even if it did hurt a little knowing he was taking this out on the wrong person. The rules were there for a reason. It was to protect the unwilling from being manipulated into doing things they don’t want to, but that didn’t make him feel any better when it felt like everyone who saw them together seemed to be implying that Sokka would even think to do something so horrible to his charge. Did they seriously think so poorly of him?
It only fueled that resentment that had been steadily brewing inside his gut the more he heard the dagger sharp reminders and felt so many eyes on his back like everything he was doing was wrong and they were watching and judging him for his failure. It was so much easier on the ship when it was just the two of them and their day to day encounters were only interrupted by brief spells of going to shore for supplies and pleasant outings. There was a chance for an escape. But Sokka didn’t have that luxury anymore and spirits how bad was it when he felt uncomfortable sitting in his own home?
Everything was confusing and so knotted up inside of him that he couldn’t see a way through the tangled debris that had besieged his mind and left him listless and weary. He felt like a weathered stone slowly cracking under the pressure and abuse of each day until there was an aching crevice bearing his core to the rest of the world before it decides to bury him for his failure to hold up to the challenge. He hated it and he hated all of this.
“Do you?” He reared on Bato, jaw clenched and hands gripping the wood of the crate so hard he was sure something was going to crack and splinter. “Or are you just saying that because you and dad can do whatever you please without someone constantly breathing down your necks?”
“Sokka, that’s not-” He reached out to the warrior but Sokka stepped back and shook his head in refusal.
“Don’t.” He growled, then took a deep breath to compose himself a little more. He forced the tension to relent in his stance as it unraveled to something weary. It felt like a shadow of his younger years when he was finding his place in the tribe and felt so inadequate compared to the other warriors and tribesmen. That weight of insecurity that made him bristle and snap so quickly had been an easy armor to hide behind before he grew out of his shell. It seemed old habits still die hard. “Bato, I’m tired and I just want to get this done.”
“Okay.” Bato stepped back, brows furrowed as he relented. “Alright then.”
Notes:
My wifey has offered this nugget:
Bato, Hakoda and Tekk while drinking: "We've connected the dots!"
Li/Zuko in the background: "You haven't connected shit!"
Bato, Hakoda and Tekk: "We've connected them."
Oh the joys of misconceptions all around.
Also a little padded out bonding time with Tekk and Shin getting to know Zuko a little bit.
Chapter 23
Summary:
Sokka and Zuko go hunting.
Notes:
TW WARNING: This chapter has descriptions of animal death as the characters are hunting in a traditional way (based on a mix of Viking and Inuit culture). It's not super gorey as they don't cut into anything yet, but if you can't stomach animal death, this is your fair warning.
This chapter and next chapter will be focused on the hunting aspect of the Water Tribe as Zuko learns more about Water Tribe culture and survival.
I'm a hunter myself so descriptions may get detailed at times but I will try to withhold that as much as possible.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Tekkeitsertok's crew had left the evening prior to head back to their own village after spending two days with them. Sokka was always happy to see the older chief, but he was more than relieved to see the other Fire Nation man go. Li seemed a bit put off after his session with Hama and wandered about distracted and quiet, even through dinner. He had gone to bed for the night even earlier than usual which left Sokka sulking for the majority of the night as his mind ran through dozens of reasons as to why exactly that was.
Only managing a few snatches of sleep, he woke at the early break of dawn when he heard the now familiar, ever so light footsteps of his fire ferret slipping out the door before either Gran Gran or Katara were awake. Curious, Sokka hastily slipped his boots on and pulled his long sleeve shirt over his head before creeping out after him.
His mind raced with questions and worries as to what Li had taken to doing in the quiet morning with nobody to spy him. Technically, as a war prize, he was supposed to be under close eye at all times and request permission to wander off like this away from Sokka or Kanna, but as the tribesman crept around the corner, he noted he had stayed close to the house. In fact, he was just around back where they had sparred two days ago.
Easing around the corner, Sokka snuck a peek hoping to go unnoticed as he watched Li doing….something with his back turned. He had to watch a minute before he caught the familiar arc of the soldier's broadswords as they cut fluidly through the air in a natural swing that made the steel sing pleasantly.
Sokka had forgotten that he buried both the swords and the pearl dagger Li had on him at the time of his capture, at the very bottom of his sea chest where he would have to dig to find it. It would appear he finally had. It amused Sokka nonetheless as he relaxed and leaned against the cold shaded side of the house.
The motions were seamless and unerring, the rotations were fluid without stopping for a moment as the blades cut through the air. Li seemed to dance as his whole body moved as one, flowing smoothly like water. He was nearly silent aside from the quiet song as each blade sliced the air, rising and cutting.
'It feels as natural as dancing.' Sokka recalled the soldier's bashful admission around dinner not too long ago. Watching him now, he could see those words held true. This was a dance more beautiful than anything Sokka had ever seen before and his heart soared inside his chest as a puddling heat stirred inside his gut and lower abdomen. The flex of his shoulders, the sure footed steps as he weaved and kicked and jumped. It was an extension of himself, graceful and unwavering.
Li looked confident. He wasn't tense and feral like the first time they clashed in that forest, or wild and sporadic like the brawl on the ship deck with the chains. It was thoughtless but certain. It was reflexive but accurate. It came as easy to the soldier as breathing did.
Sokka felt like he stood there for an embarrassingly long time before he realized he wasn't alone in his observation. His dad had approached at some point and peered around the warrior with a quizzical rise of his brow. When he spotted the weapons, he looked perplexed but eased back and lingered in the shadows beside Sokka as they watched with awe as Li indulged in a side of himself that they rarely had the opportunity to see. The younger man couldn't help but notice that the black outfit Li wore now fit him snug in a way that flourished his lean frame and the angle of his hips as he moved and pivoted, stepping lightly and gyrating to strike at imaginary opponents.
It occurred to Sokka that this was not combat practice. It felt very much like a performance, like some choreographed fight scene in one of the theater scrolls Li found pleasure in reading so often. It was alluring and delicate but fierce and terrifying in it's own way. He couldn't shake the feeling of just how intimate the motions were. Not in a romantic sense, or anything of that nature, but just how familiar Li had to be with both his own body and the weapons in his grasp. That's not even considering his disability and yet, his left side moved with just as much ease and coordination and balance as the right side did.
If Sokka hadn't spent nearly a month stuck in a cramped cabin with the guy, he might have assumed the burn scar had entirely missed damaging his eye and its perception. But Sokka has seen him take one too many spills at awkward moments on slippery steps, and shoulder check door frames that he underestimated the placement of to think anything of that sort.
It was impressive. Even more so considering the warrior has come to blows with that skilled handiwork and managed to walk away at all, let alone completely intact.
The spirits had been kind to him that night. He doubted that even with the element of surprise, if Li had been fighting with half as much force as he was now, Sokka would have been another name to be mourned on the trip home and another prayer uttered to Tui and La.
It occurred to Sokka just then, as he tore his eyes away from Li's impressive display to glance at his dad, who couldn't drag his gaze from the way the blades sang with every slice. The sun glinted off the edges and glimmered in the early morning light making him look all the more like something from a spirit tale. This was the first time Hakoda has ever seen Li fight with his blades. As he ripped his attention away from the soldier, he turned to greet Sokka's gaze with a shocked expression of similar realization and horror. Perhaps he was just now concluding the same startling truth that Sokka had.
"Impressive, right?" His voice was barely a whisper in their native tongue.
Hakoda swallowed thickly and nodded. "Yeah." Then, after a pause he asked. "You seriously fought him?"
"Yup."
"How?"
"Good question." Sokka's voice was a little strained, crippled by nervous laughter as he turned his attention back on Li. "He wasn't fighting to kill me is all I know."
That in and of itself, was a mercy that surprised them both. Hakoda looked uncomfortable at whatever thought had crossed his mind but straightened up when the quiet steps of the soldier fell still and the telltale shink of blades being slid cleanly into their sheath met their ears. Sokka straightened up just as Li let out a shaky breath and grinned to himself, finally allowing his breathing to come out in little pants after so long of holding it still and carefully controlled. His whole body seemed to vibrate with barely contained jitters. Whether it was adrenaline or exhaustion, Sokka couldn't tell as he turned around to face the two men.
His smile immediately crumpled with pale faced horror the minute he realized he had an audience. Li seemed to lock up, his grip on the blade handles dropped away like he was afraid of some form of retaliation for this display.
It pained Sokka to see the unmistakable fear that lanced through him, filling his eyes with that hollow dread that the warrior wanted to chase away with reassuring touches and daring yet brief kisses peppered across his brow and jaw. He wanted to hold the smaller man and tell him that he was safe and perfect and so entirely wonderful-
But he couldn't and all three of them had gone still like they'd been caught red handed in the midst of wrongdoing.
Clearing his throat, Sokka clapped his hands together in a short show of applause, almost missing the startled jerk of Li’s body as he strained between the urge to stay rooted and accept whatever would come, and the very real urge to flee. Switching easily to Fire Nation, he started. "When you said it was like dancing, I thought you were exaggerating. Li, that was beautiful!" He stepped out of the shadow of the house and let his broad smile stretch until his cheeks hurt, hoping the relaxed set of his shoulders and easy stride would shake the man out of his terror.
His gaze kept darting from Sokka to where Hakoda was still standing, looking guilty and apologetic despite the warrior's reassurances. Sokka came to stand by his side and reached a comforting hand to sit on his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. "You should be proud of yourself."
The tiny shrug he got felt like an icy protrusion lancing through his chest. He turned his gaze to his dad, expecting a little more effort on the chief's part. Hakoda looked increasingly uncomfortable as he struggled to find some footing to make amends for the clear misunderstanding. Sokka gave him a stern look that finally forced his dad to leave the shade and step into the warm light as he searched for his words.
Li had bowed his head like he expected some form of punishment to follow his actions and it pained Sokka to see it. He wanted to see that smile the soldier wore far more naturally than anything else. The confidence he carried that didn't rely on petty spite to fuel it. He wanted to see the real Li without seeing this as the end result.
"I-" Li started, searching for his words, on the cusp of an apology or some similar self-deprecating worry that he screwed up in some way.
"Too bad Tekk wasn't here to see that." Hakoda started, his words a measure of calm and casual that had the soldier snapping his head up in surprise. "He would have loved to watch it. Probably would have had a thousand questions to boot."
There was a kindling of warmth in his dad's eyes as he met Li's gaze. Li started to relax a little underneath it, before his fear was replaced with bright pink embarrassment that crept along his cheeks up to his ears. He was bashful and nervous but looked less like he was ready to crawl out of his skin or throw himself into the ocean to get away. His shoulders bounced awkwardly as he lowered his gaze back to the ground, staring at the point between his boots looking pitifully abashed and unable to really cope with this kind of attention.
Hakoda let out a breathy sound that was akin to amusement as he crooked his jaw in that thoughtful way that told Sokka he was considering something. “You know, if you want to practice or spar more, you’re more than welcome to. There would be plenty of our warriors eager to work with someone that’ll keep their skills sharp, and more that would like to learn a new thing or two.”
Li’s head tipped back up with wide eyed disbelief, jaw slightly agape before he snapped it shut. A small nervous smile curled the right corner of his lips as he nodded his understanding, then stopped to glance at Sokka as if seeking similar permission from the larger warrior.
Sokka gave his shoulder a companionable squeeze as he chuckled. “Of course, I call first dibs.”
Hakoda rolled his eyes affectionately at his son and let a breathy laugh slip from his throat. Li smirked, a sudden challenge rising in his eyes as he regarded Sokka with a look that made the warrior’s blood start pumping with excitement. “Perhaps we could get that rematch I’ve been itching for since the forest.”
His father stepped in with a snicker as he added. “Only if Bato and I get to watch, but only after you help me with some nets. I was actually coming to get you earlier.” Sokka groaned, and rolled his eyes.
“Fine.”
His dad turned his attention to the soldier and gave him a onceover. “Li, you want to come with?” There was a hesitant bob of his head as he unwound beneath Sokka’s hand and let his posture slip into something easier going and confident once more. “You might want to put something warmer on. It’s cold down by the water.”
“On it.” Sokka hummed, slipping behind his fire ferret as he placed both his hands on the soldier’s shoulders and started steering him back to the house. Li squirmed a little then slipped out from under Sokka’s touch like a slippery eel before sliding easily behind Sokka, slamming a palm against his upper back, not painfully but enough to off balance him a little and force him to stumble forward instead. Both Li and his father laughed at him as he scrambled to collect himself and whirled around to find the soldier casually meandering by with his arms folded over his chest, shooting a pointed and teasing look Sokka’s way.
“Oh, I see how it is.” He huffed and quickened his pace, startling Li into a sprint to the door with a grin growing on his face to outrun Sokka’s longer strides.
It took a couple days to get everything ready for their hunting trip, but once they were prepared, Sokka was excited. He packed a tent just in case they end up taking longer since walking back during the night is far too dangerous, even before the snow had hit. It's easy to get lost, the terrain is deadly and far too many predators roam the hills looking for an easy meal. There was enough food and water to hold them for a couple days if rationed carefully, and warmer clothes packed on the off chance that it would be necessary if an early snow does hit.
He packed his club, his boomerang and a bow on the off chance that they’ll need the more distanced weapon on their hunt. If he can’t get close enough to one of the yaks to strike true, then the bow was their fallback. Li was dressed warmly in the thick furs of his parka with his broadswords secured on his back and his satchel hanging full on his hip with his own supplies. Sokka eyed it, and smirked, wondering if there was any tea snuck inside the pack, but after watching the soldier fish around in it once, he was well aware that it was more practical things like rope, his own rations, a bottle of salve that Hama had given him, and a few emergency medical supplies in the rare chance something happens and they’re far from the village.
Li was nothing if not prepared. He took this trip with the same concentrated seriousness that he did most tasks.
Sokka grinned as he hoisted his pack onto his back and steered his fire ferret to the opposite end of the village towards the path that led up into the hills where a large stable resided. Inside were half a dozen buffalo yak grazing from the troughs and a handful more outside in the enclosed pasture stretching their legs for a bit.
“These are buffalo yak.” The warrior explained when Li stared at them with wide curious eyes. They were a soft tawny color with a white belly and long muscular legs covered in feathered tufts of fur that draped down to their hooves in a bell like shape. Their horns were short and curved away from their brow as they stood in a way far more regal than most animals. “They were originally tamed and bred in the Northern Tribes, but a little while before the war we received some as a gift from our sister tribe and took to raising them here. Most of the other villages still rely on the tundra camels for transport but we welcomed the new addition.”
“Oh wow. They’re really pretty.” Li smiled softly to himself as he inspected the buffalo yak that gave him a brief glance before they resumed eating their breakfast.
Sokka nodded. “We also raise snow leopard caribou but only a few cubs are born every year and they’re very hard to train. So we had to change tactics.” He recalled that their village only had three fully trained snow leopard caribou which were optimal war mounts but not as useful for the more tedious tasks of hauling supplies or riding into hunts. Additionally, trying to feed a carnivore through winter was a lot harder than trying to feed a yak or a camel.
“What’s that?” Li craned his head to catch the very large humped shape at the very back of the stable where the awkwardly elongated head of one irritable camel was casually chewing away at his morning meal.
“That is Humpy.” Sokka said with all the relish of a child who found a giggle in something so innocently inappropriate. Li whirled on him with a raised brow and a shocked expression, like he couldn’t actually believe what Sokka said was true. Sighing, he explained. “He is Bato’s beloved camel. He’s had Humpy since he was a boy.”
He steered Li towards the back of the stable as he continued. “He is coming with us on the hunt. Right Humpy?” He called to the camel who just flicked its large brown eyes up to inspect him with a look of genuine neutrality that only a camel could offer before chewing more of his food up. Thankfully it looked like he was nearly done with his meal, and that Bato had come in early to feed the grunting terror that harassed a majority of the village populace with his bad manners.
“Humpy?” Li asked, incredulous. The camel grunted as if answering the soldier’s question.
“For some reason, both the snow leopard caribou and the buffalo yak hate Bato so Humpy is his baby. If you overhear him cooing at the camel, just walk away slowly. That’s normal.” Sokka recalled just how happy the older man was when they returned home. While everyone else was excitedly greeting their families and reuniting with loved ones, Bato practically sprinted to the stables to see his camel and didn’t leave it for several hours until dad had to drag him home for dinner. He had fretted about his beloved camel the entire time they were gone and how Gran Gran was treating him in his absence. Which was a spot on worry considering Humpy hated a majority of the people in the village aside from Sokka, Bato, and a small handful of children. He spit constantly at Katara, glared at Gran Gran and bucked dad off and even tried to charge at him once or twice. He sort of tolerated Sokka in a way that bordered on mildly affectionate, but Bato was always his special human.
He opened the gate to the stall and prepared the camel’s saddle, strapping it down around Humpy’s midsection and over each hump carefully. Li waited outside of the stall but offered a cautious hand towards Humpy for the animal to sniff at and adjust to. The camel gave a quiet grunt of acceptance and resumed eating his meal until the bucket was empty and Sokka had finished his work. The saddle was specially designed to help carry an abundance of supplies especially for hunting with large leather packs with protective flaps that ensured the contents were safe from the wind and water.
Humpy wasn’t at all fussed as Sokka took him by the reins and led him out of the stable with Li closely in tow on the opposite side, remaining in eye sight of the camel.
“Alright, so first things first.” Sokka began as they headed towards the worn path that wound up around the shallow rocky slope into the hills beyond the village. There were small sea birds that roosted in the rocky crevices and squawked in the early golden light of dawn, rummaging between the rocks for tasty morsels. The sky was an array of pinks and purples that melded into a golden haze that stretched along the expanse to greet them with an illustrious beauty.
“I’m going to teach you how to set snares. We can check them on our way back to see if we catch anything.” Sokka lured them further from the village where the tall grass morphed into thickets of brambles and far more resilient berry bushes that grew up through the rocky terrain. There were numerous animal tracks, both old and new, that visited the nearly empty bushes to eat their fill or chew on the leaves as they grazed in passing. Humpy remained on the path as Sokka beckoned Li to follow him into the brush and showed him how to place a snare. With a long sturdy piece of wire, he secured it to a strong branch or root of a nearby tree that burst through the ground and arranged the loop with a sliding knot that would cinch tight around a leg or the neck of unwary prey. As it pulls quickly, the snare secures its hold and keeps the trapped animal in place until they could collect it. The key was putting it in the path of a well worn fresh trail and ensuring it was hidden well enough in the leaves and bushes to avoid detection.
After the first two snares, Sokka let Li set up the last two. He watched as the soldier read the trails of tracks and observed the terrain for the same signs Sokka had, before securing the snare in place on a branch or slim trunk. He was quick to learn and Sokka felt his chest swell with pride at that fact.
With the snares set, Sokka led him back to where Humpy was patiently waiting for them and headed further inland towards the low lying valley where most of the yak herd tended to graze. As they walked, Li remained his usual comfortably quiet self as they trudged along with the stones sliding slippery under foot. It had rained the night before making the ground unsteady and dangerous in places if they weren’t careful. It was worrisome at times but Li was perceptive and cautious. After half an hour, the soldier took over guiding Humpy’s reins when it became apparent that the camel didn’t mind Li at all. He was surprised, commenting oddly.
“I expected it to be more stubborn and aggressive like a komodo rhino but he seems to be more temperamental like an ostrich horse.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a komodo rhino before.” Sokka admitted, trying to imagine what exactly that would look like. It sounded kind of terrifying.
“They are really big aggressive lizards that can kill you if you don’t handle them with care but they’re versatile cavalry mounts for almost any terrain.” He explained, reaching a hand up to stroke along Humpy’s muzzle with care. The camel grunted his approval at the affection and encouraged the gesture as he lowered his head into the soldier’s touch.
“Spoiled brat.” Sokka snickered, eyeing the camel before he turned his gaze towards a hillside spotted in small dark plump bundles of feathers. About half a dozen arctic hens were sunning themselves on the rocks with their speckled grey and tawny feathers stretched out as they ruffled themselves in the dirt and soaked up the sun’s withering warmth in the encroaching cold.
“Li.” He called quietly.
The soldier stopped in his tracks and stared at Sokka before following his gaze. Squinting at the hillside, he frowned in confusion as the warrior leaned down to find a sizable rock and drew his boomerang from his sheath. Tossing the rock towards the birds with his off hand, he sent a few scattering into the air as their weighty bodies took an uneasy flight for a short distance. Aiming carefully, he threw his trusty boomerang and let it soar through the air to strike one of the closest hens. The bird went down, sinking to the ground in a stunned heap twitching in the grass and flapping its wings sporadically.
He retrieved both the bird and the boomerang, securing the bird in his grasp as he dispatched it cleanly with a quick twist of its neck. He stalked the lazy descent of the flock, crouching low and wary as he threw another rock and let his boomerang sing towards the scattered hens, knocking a second one from the air and hitting a third on an off chance when the boomerang ricocheted off the prior. Sokka had to move quicker to dispatch the third bird before it could recover from its briefly stunned state.
Returning to Humpy and his ferret, he had secured all three birds to the saddle where a belt strap looped along one of the camel's humps. The birds swayed where they were tied by the necks, their dusty feathers shaking small puffs out with the lazy ambling of the animal as they continued.
"Holy shit! I had heard stories of Water Tribe warriors and their skills with a boomerang but I never expected to see it used for hunting instead of combat." Li sounded thoroughly impressed as he inspected the collection of hens and gave one a curious poke. "What are these called?"
"Arctic hen." Sokka preened. "It is the most succulent bird you will ever taste in your life." His mouth started to water just thinking about it. "Gran Gran stuffs it with moonpeaches and let's it bake in a pan of seal fat and…" He groaned as his stomach rumbled noisily. "I haven't had it since spring."
Li looked enraptured with that description as his own stomach gave a quiet rumble. He looked mournfully at the hens in a way that Sokka could sympathize with. Unfortunately they couldn't eat the hens now, but they did have an abundance of seal jerky which Sokka promptly dug out of his pack and offered the wrapped collection of dried meat to the soldier. Li accepted a piece gratefully and took a tugging bite off of it, letting himself chew on the thought for a bit.
"Kind of reminds me of the braised duck my Uncle likes a lot."
"Oh?" Sokka hummed around his own bite of jerky, enjoying the salty chewy goodness and the light touch of dried berries that gave it that extra pop of flavor to combat the overpowering salt with a tang of sweetness. Their quiet conversation carried on for quite a while as they talked about food then moved on to discussion about boomerangs when the topic of food was making them both ravenous, and Sokka showed Li the right way to throw the boomerang to get it to fly through the air true to its target. He wasn't very good at it, which was expected for such a complicated weapon, but he had promise if he kept practicing. Maybe by spring he could hit a close range target with it.
It took another hour of walking before they came across the fresh tracks of yak moving across through a field layered thick with tall grass and low lying brush. As they trailed through it, Sokka pointed out where the yak had bedded down in areas to rest in between movements. There were large flat spaces in between the slimmer but still sizable trails where they huddled together for warmth and safety through the night. There were a few spots that had been grazed on and more than a fair share of scat piles left behind.
Sokka wrinkled his nose at the droppings and continued walking as he led Li and Humpy through the field. “At least we know the herd is healthy.” Which was a good sign with the approaching winter. It meant they would have a better chance of lasting through the bitter cold and in turn, would help the tribes survive.
Li meticulously picked his way around the offending piles of yak manure as Humpy stalked with long legs over most of it, uncaring of the mess his humans were following. They had slowed their pace considerably as Sokka noted broken branches, hoof prints, horn rubbings and signs of a scuffle where something else had attempted to take one of the yaks but failed judging by the lack of blood and drag marks.
“What was it?” The soldier had crouched beside Sokka to inspect the tracks. There was a large paw print impression in the mud around the edges of the scuffle. Thick brush had hidden the predator before its ambush.
“A polar leopard.” Sokka pointed out the prints and noted the massive size and shape of the toes. “It looks like it was aiming for one of the yearlings but the rest of the herd chased it off.” The young yak was incredibly lucky that its herd had fast and ruthless reflexes.
“Keep your eyes peeled. It might still be around if it's chasing the herd.”
Li nodded and gripped Humpy’s reins tighter in his grasp, giving their surroundings a more calculated scan, searching for any potential predators hiding in the low grass or brambles. Sokka didn’t blame him for his alarm. He was feeling a bit put off knowing they weren’t the only ones tracking the herd. If they were lucky, it would keep its distance after the failed attempt once already or at least wait to strike after they’ve gotten their share.
It didn’t take much longer for them to see the first signs of the herd grazing casually in the valley. They kept close together with only the largest of the herd lingering on the edges. The bulls surveyed the landscape for any signs of danger in between wandering the field.
Sokka shrugged his pack off and set it at the base of a large tree along small corps of similar trees looming high above them. They tied off Humpy’s reins to one of the sturdy branches but still gave him enough space to graze as he pleased while he waited for them. Remaining downwind, Sokka steered Li along with him towards the yak herd, keeping a close eye on the wind direction and the herd’s awareness as he drew his bow into his hand and knocked an arrow at the ready. They crouched low, moving silently through the grass as Sokka settled the excited beat of his heart.
Whispering as he leaned close enough to speak into the soldier’s ear, he lifted his hand just enough to point out the different yaks by horn size and which were the youngest of the herd, and which were the older. The differences were minute and hard to spot if you weren’t keen on the tiny details or familiar with their behaviors. Today they were aiming for one of the older bulls but not the biggest. He wouldn’t take an experienced bull away from the herd so close to winter.
Creeping closer to their target, Sokka watched the yaks closely, how their ears twitched and their heads tilted. He stilled whenever one would raise its gaze to search their surroundings, holding his breath deep inside his chest as he waited every painstaking heartbeat until it lowered to pull at the tender chutes that remained before the frost took the rest of them. Drawing back his bow, his shoulders set in that familiar flex that felt natural and earnest from years of hunting. His thumb brushed the feathers of his arrow fletchings as he slowly exhaled and let the string slip along the pads of his fingers. The world went still and quiet as it soared through the air and hit with a jarring thwack that sent the entire herd scattering with grunts and bellows of fear. The yak he struck managed to race in a confused and frightened circle before it slowed to limp then dropped in the now empty muddy field. It flailed and cried out in, trying to rise back up on its feet as Sokka rose to his and quickly crossed the expanse, being sure to approach from the yak’s blindspot but well away from the hooves before leaping on its back to drive his bone knife into the throat, ending its misery once and for all.
Li was hesitant to race after him, his eyes scanning the fleeing herd with an unnerving gaze as he shot worried looks back towards the woods. “I’m going to get Humpy.” He announced, drawing Sokka’s attention as he waved.
“Good thinking. I’m going to need your help with this.” Sitting high on the beast’s back with the heat of its body rolling off of it beneath his legs, Sokka inspected the blood on his palms and smeared it clean against the damp grass before rising to his feet. His bow was set to rest against the yak’s side for now as he lifted his eyes to follow Li’s approach. Humpy was at his side, tugging gently on the reins as he lifted his own head high, nearly dragging Li off his feet in the process as the soldier struggled to adjust his arms to the camel’s height.
Sokka’s brows furrowed as he followed Humpy’s gaze and spied the flicker of white in the treeline. “Li!” Sokka shouted, reaching back for his boomerang as his boots pounded the muddy earth towards the soldier. Li released the reins and twisted in time to face the emerging white blur of a large polar leopard. The cat’s yowl was blood curdling as it lunged for the smaller man.
Li’s hands were quick to draw his swords but not fast enough as Humpy’s hooves hit the leopard directly in the side, sending it off target as it toppled across the ground in a bewildered heap. It rose back on its paws, hissing and spitting fury at the camel, then turned its attention back on the soldier. Li swung his blade at the cat and shouted loudly in its direction, lunging towards it with every cry. He wasn’t big enough to intimidate the much larger more powerful predator, but he didn’t need to with Humpy’s looming figure grunting and stomping his hooves against the earth.
Sokka threw his boomerang at the leopard, striking it in the head as it listed to the side and stumbled. It whirled on the warrior with a hiss, swatting its claws at him and chuffing angrily. “Get behind Humpy!” Sokka shouted to the soldier. Li was hesitant but after a few seconds of indecision, he sheathed his blades and scrambled behind the camel, keeping it between him and the leopard. He kept a tight grip on the reins, despite Humpy’s efforts to shake Li off of him. Wielding his club, Sokka stomped his boot against the ground and shouted at the leopard, growling and baring his teeth in a threatening display. Unlike Li, he looked far bigger to the predator, but he feared the smell of fresh blood from the yak had made the desperate beast bolder than it normally would be.
It charged at Sokka but Humpy dragged himself out of Li’s grasp and charged in return, grunting and snorting his own displeasure at the threat. The cat back pedaled quickly and twisted around to loop back away from the angry camel, effectively turning back on the unprotected soldier. Li dove out of the way and slipped on the muddy uneven terrain, as he narrowly avoided the powerful claws of the big cat. Humpy veered after it and gave it another hard strike of his hooves, sending it sprawling with a noisy crack.
This time around, the cat didn’t get back up. Sokka was quick to dispatch it with a strong strike of his club to its skull, putting it out for good. He sank to his knees and huffed out a breath of relief before turning to spot the soldier sitting back on the ground, muddy and damp, but alive and in one piece.
It didn’t stop Sokka from scrambling towards him in a panic, placing his hands on Li’s shoulders as he trembled and stared at the giant leopard. “Are you alright?” He asked.
His feisty little fire ferret gave him a jerky nod then offered, a little shaky but smiling at the edges. “Normally I’m a cat person but that was ridiculous.” He placed a damp cold hand on Sokka’s where it gripped his shoulder and gave it a small reassuring squeeze. “That thing is huge.”
And it was as far as most cats go, but Sokka knew better. “It’s still young.” He noted. “They get much much bigger than that.” This one was young, desperate and so terribly reckless, and it cost it it’s life this time around. He held his arm out to the soldier and helped him up to his feet, only to furrow his brows in worry when Li hissed through his teeth. He was cautious on one leg as he took a test step and started to sink.
“Shit.” He cursed. “My ankle. I think I twisted it.”
“Let me see.” Sokka urged but Li shook his head. “Li.”
“I can take care of it.” He assured Sokka, already reaching for the satchel hanging off of Humpy’s saddle where his medical supplies were. The camel leaned closer to his outstretched hand so he didn’t have to walk it. “You need to start working on these kills before we get caught out here till nightfall.”
That was true. Sighing, he relented but urged Li to sit nearby as he gripped the leopard’s massive paws and started dragging it through the grass down the damp hillside towards the yak. Breathless, he sucked in each gulp and recovered a bit as he started to break a sweat. He took his parka off and hung it on Humpy’s saddle then scooped Li up in his arms to carry him where both kills currently resided. With everyone safely in one spot where he could keep an eye on them, he began his work as he prayed to the spirits for their generosity and the safety of their hunt, and ushered the spirits of the animals to the next life while Li started the aching task of removing his boot and treating his ankle.
The soldier wasn’t joking before when he said he was pretty good at treating injuries as he inspected the swollen joint that was already beginning to bruise. He applied one of the salves Hama had given him, then wrapped the joint until it was firm and secure before carefully slipping his boot back on. Using a spare leather belt, he slipped it around the circumference of his boot and tightened it so the boot itself worked as its own splint.
Finished, he turned his attention to Sokka where the warrior was trying to wrap the cat's front paws together with a bundle of twine and did the same to its hind paws. Between the two of them, and with Humpy kneeling on the ground, they were able to drape the massive feline over the camel’s back and secure it, then tugged a hide tarp over top of it. The yak was a bit harder to figure out. He had chosen a smaller bull that would require less effort, but that was before they ended up with an additional two-hundred pound cat. With some planning, he managed to take their tent tarp and the ropes Li had brought along with them to secure to Humpy’s saddle where it often was used to pull small sleds or skiffs of cargo, and tied it down, placing the yak in the large tarp sideways and tying a second set of ropes around its hooves and linked it back to the saddle. An additional set of ropes came off the tarp that Sokka was planning to help pull to take some of the strain off of Humpy on the way back. Despite his concerns, Li was adamant to help and stood on the other side of the camel to aid in pulling as they started to carry their load carefully up the hill. He was limping slowly along but determined, even as Sokka wished to mother hen him about the unnecessary strain.
Sokka was really wishing he had taken Bato up on his offer and asked the man to come along, if only to have the added muscle. But then again, Li was looking pretty happy, if a little shaken from the close call. He was still impressed that the soldier had stood his ground against the cat and didn’t pull the idiot’s trick of running from an apex predator with a chase mentality.
“Is this your first time dealing with a giant predator?” Sokka had asked once they caught their breath at the top of the hill and Humpy seemed to take the reins and keep trudging on now that gravity wasn’t fighting them every inch.
“Uhh….sort of.” He answered. “I’m not sure if komodo rhinos count as predators or sabertooth mooselions…..or boar-q-pines.” He chewed on his lip and pulled a waterskin from his satchel, taking a long pull from the container before handing it over to Sokka through the narrow space between Humpy and the yak. Sokka accepted it and took a few greedy gulps and sighed.
“Do you always have a bad habit of attracting extremely dangerous animals towards you?” The warrior asked, handing the waterskin back.
Li took another sip before corking it. “Only sometimes.”
Sokka snorted in amusement.
It was an incredibly long walk back home with frequent breaks for Humpy as the sun beat down on their backs and made the long trek all the more tiresome and daunting. Sokka kept his boomerang and club at the ready, well aware that the scent of fresh blood from either animal was like ringing the dinner bell for other predators to swoop in and take a bite. It was nearing nightfall when they reached their snares and found two had been successful in catching something. One of Sokka’s caught a snow hare and one of Li’s captured a mink. He added them to the saddle where the arctic hens were and carried on the last hour before sunset started to ease the last rays out of the day. They reached the hillside overlooking the village and sagged in visible relief.
A few of the warriors and hunters that were down by the stables tending to the buffalo yak looked up when Sokka made a loud whoop and cry, drawing their attention. A rush of excited footsteps hurried towards them to help relieve Humpy of his burdens. The exhausted camel grunted its relief as Li patted his muzzle affectionately, murmuring praise for his hardwork. Bato had been quick to run up the slope to meet them, taking Humpy’s reins as he eyed the leopard being hoisted off the camel’s back and the yak which was untied and dragged by four large men down the hill.
“You two look like you had quite the successful hunt.” Bato snorted, leading his beloved camel back to the stable. His large palms stroked the animal’s sides fondly and gave him a once over to ensure he was safe and sound.
“The spirits were generous and Humpy was fierce. He fought the leopard off when it tried to ambush us.” Sokka exclaimed.
Bato’s brows creased with worry as he turned towards the camel who grunted in acknowledgement of its great and mighty feat. He raised his head and looked indifferent to the near death experience they all encountered earlier that day. “Such a good strong boy, Humpy. Did you show that big mean old leopard who’s boss?” He cooed at the animal.
Sokka rolled his eyes and scoffed, giving the camel a firm pat on the rump before retrieving the rest of their things from Humpy’s saddle and the belt of hard won succulent hens, mink and hare. Slinging it over his shoulder, he turned his attention to where Li was leaned against the stable entrance with his satchel tucked against his side, waiting tiredly for Sokka to catch up.
“You want to see Hama before we head home?”
“Not really.” Li shrugged and turned to gratefully accept Sokka’s guiding arm around his shoulders. He sighed contentedly and grinned up at the warrior. “Is every hunt with you like that?”
“Sometimes.” Sokka chuckled, giving the belt in his grasp a jiggle to show off the hens. “Sometimes we’re lucky if we get anything at all. It's why we’re grateful for every success.”
Li hummed his understanding and limped along by his side as they headed for Gran Gran’s hut. His dad was already rushing out the door, nearly bowling into them as they approached causing him to skirt to an abrupt stop.
“Sokka!” He cheered, eyes bright with pride as he took in the disheveled filthy state of the both of them in the low light before the sun tipped that last bit into night. The lanterns were already lit along the paths guiding people around the village in the dark. The yak and leopard were probably already hanging up for all to see, knowing how excited people were when a successful bounty returned from the hunt. He intended to skin it in the morning with Bato and show Li the finer points of how they go about utilizing every piece of the beast.
His dad shared a similar look of satisfaction towards Li as he stepped aside to usher them both into the warmth of the hut and the smells of dinner on the cusp of finishing. Katara and Gran Gran were hard at work in the kitchen as Sokka raised the hens in his grasp triumphantly.
“I have returned!” He declared loudly and with dramatic flourish, bowing low as he hoisted the belt like a hard fought prize. Katara settled her hands on her hips and gave him a critical look before snorting.
“Did you really have to roll around in the mud before you came back?” She chided, taking the belt from his grasp and inspecting the catch. “Oooh mink.”
“And arctic hen.” Sokka interjected, kicking his boots off as he dropped his pack off his shoulder to shuck the worst of his clothes off before he got too far into the house. Li followed suit, lending an ear to Katara and Sokka’s banter as he carefully unraveled the makeshift leather brace he prepared for his ankle.
“I can cook that up for supper tomorrow.” Gran Gran hummed with anticipation for the cherished meal.
“Oh spirits, please do! I missed your arctic hen Gran Gran.” He practically moaned. She smiled warmly over the counter as Sokka straightened up. Li rose to his feet behind him as the warrior extended an arm for him to balance off of. “You sure you don’t want to see Hama?”
Before Li could answer, Katara frowned. “Why does Li need to see Hama?”
“He twisted his ankle when a leopard attacked us.”
Li pouted at that which only encouraged Sokka to add. “You should have seen him! He stood his ground against it as stubborn as an arctic camel. He even drew swords on it.”
“Well I didn’t have anything else!” Li blurted. “And I know you’re not supposed to flee from pursuit predators. I’m not an idiot. It’s common sense.”
“So you stood there, no bigger than an otter penguin and insulted its ancestors.”
The pout increased as Sokka snickered and roped an arm around Li’s shoulders, giving him a fond half hug and chuckled. Hakoda was watching the soldier with disbelief and simultaneous awe, while Katara looked like she was seconds away from swatting them both and chiding them for their stupidity.
“You could have been hurt!” She scolded. “Spirits!”
“We were fine. Humpy gave it a good ol 'kick to the side.”
“Is Humpy alright?” His dad asked, now truly concerned and caught between staying to chat and rush out the door to check on Bato and his camel.
“He’s fine. Just as stubborn and unbothered as usual.” Sokka rolled his shoulders and started to half carry Li towards his room where he could help the soldier change into something clean before dinner, and check that ankle over where nobody else was hovering fretfully. Nobody commented on it as Sokka vanished into Li’s room and settled the man down on the desk chair before turning his attention to light the lamp on the desk. Li was already peeling his filthy clothes off as Sokka turned to pull the fresh clothes from his turtleduck chest, offering up the thinner summer outfit that was clean and easier to put on. Li accepted it with a nod of appreciation and let his hands linger over Sokka’s a minute before focusing on getting dressed. It was such a small wistful thing that set his heart alight and helped melt away some of those prior worries that plagued his mind.
Notes:
I was reading about the arctic camels on the official Atla fauna wiki and got the idea that Bato is the only one in Hakoda's tribe that has a camel and it hates everyone. He's had it most of his life and that is his baby. He loves it about as much as he loves Hakoda and the camel HATES Hakoda with a fiery passion but tolerates Sokka and now also Zuko.
Also, I know Camels dont have hooves traditionally but calling it toes sounds weird and we're gonna go along the lines of "they dont have advanced Zoology so it's still hooves"
I based the polar leopard size off of real life mountain lions since the descriptions dont give too much about their appearance other than they're big and white and like to eat turtle seals, so I made it bigger than a mountain lion (cause snow leopards weigh the same as a large dog and that's no fun)
Also, just like mountain lions, Zuko did the very thing you're supposed to do when a pursuit predator like a big cat tries to hunt you. Stand your ground, never turn your back on it and be as loud and unwavering as possible to make yourself seem intimidating and threatening.
Normally it'll run away, but desperate predators can often times make reckless decisions and take chances. Especially younger inexperienced predators that don't know better.
I hope yall enjoyed the chapter!!
Winter is coming (both where I live and in the story) so expect things to get frosty soon.
Chapter 24
Summary:
Sokka teaches Zuko how to put their kills to good use.
Shenanigans ensue.
Notes:
TW WARNING: Animal death (hunting) and skinning/cleaning/treating the animals after.
I would like to thank my friend Stormklinge for his knowledge and experience on tanning pelts in a traditional way as I spent most of the time writing this chapter, repeatedly poking him with questions of how the Sami people of Finland do it. It was a lot of fun writing this scene and learning these things. I've never tanned a pelt before (cause we never had the time to dedicate to the long process) but I look forward to giving it a try in the future but in a more modern way. ^.^
Chapter Text
Zuko probably shouldn't have pushed himself through that long walk back to the village. Sokka had tried to coax him into taking more breaks, waiting a little longer between points of rest, but the daylight was waning fast and they didn't have the luxury to squander it when Humpy was already weighed down so much and moving considerably slower than when they started this morning. He was stubborn and strong willed and accustomed to uncomfortably long marches on foot in worse conditions. Agni, he's certainly endured worse as the Blue Spirit than a swollen twisted ankle. It pained him with each step but it was nothing compared to the burn on his face or the whips that ripped into his flesh leaving their dreaded lash burned into his skin.
By the time they finally got back to Kanna's hut, his back ached and his whole ankle and calf was numb. Sokka had been worried when he pried Zuko's boot off with tremendous effort and peeled back his sock to find the whole joint bruised and swollen. He was shocked, staring up at Zuko with bewilderment but Zuko just shrugged it off and changed out of his clothes into the clean pair. He applied more arnica oil to the inflamed area and wrapped it in a tight bandage to keep it stiff and stable, then limped to the table to enjoy a delicious hot meal after a long exhausting but successful day.
Sokka was hovering whether he realized it or not, and Zuko just shrugged it off, and shuffled off to bed with a quiet excuse and reminded the warrior that he could take care of himself. He was stubborn like that, but he was also aware that anything Hama could do for him, Zuko already knew and had at his disposal. He took the medicine to help ease the pain that crept up his leg whenever he moved his ankle too much and settled into the comfortable weight of the furs and let his body give in to the blessed relief of sleep.
For the first time in weeks, Sokka actually rose before Zuko and was crouched at the prince's bedside giving his shoulder a cautious shake. The prince was still groggy from a sedated sleep at the hand of the medicine and a day of being thoroughly worn out. He blinked bleary eyes up at Sokka and yawned, half tempted to roll back over and go back to sleep. The other half, and more impulsive side of him, simply reached up to take Sokka's hand and tugged the warrior into bed with him. There was a startled oof as Sokka collapsed onto the mattress and let himself be dragged over for Zuko to cuddle up to and settle his head snug against the warrior's shoulder.
His words were sluggish as he slurred them out past numb lips, turning his good eye up to watch the tribesman's expression. "If you're here then that means an early agenda."
Sokka chuckled, looping his arm around Zuko's shoulders so they both could get more comfortable on the small bed. Not quite as cramped as the cot in Sokka's cabin on the ship, but still cozy and tight. It was close enough for Zuko's opinion as he shifted until comfortable and let another untamed yawn slip past his lips.
"More like a late one considering you're such an early bird normally." His smile wavered at that as he turned a worried glance down at Zuko. "You feeling alright?"
"Tired." Zuko huffed and stretched his legs out. He immediately regretted the motion and winced, failing to conceal the reaction as Sokka frowned down at him. "I took some of that medicine last night." He grunted. "Makes me sleepy."
"Ah." Sokka said knowingly, tilting his head to inspect the prince as if trying to gauge his state of lucidity. Zuko ignored the scrutinizing look and buried his face into Sokka's shoulder and relished the squishy temptation of his walking pillowy bosom. That was a thought for a far more sober and lucid fire prince to agonize over. The current fire prince was going to giggle quietly at the sound of it rolling silently off his tongue and refuse to do anything more about it.
"My what?" Sokka asked, a laugh caught in his throat between amusement and disbelief.
Zuko stiffened and craned his head up, ignoring the burning heat of his face as he realized he may have let that last part out. He opened his mouth to speak, stopped, snapped his jaw shut then decided fuck it and spoke with far more confidence and a touch too much volume. "I appreciate your pillowy bosom."
"I-" Sokka started then blanched. " Tui and La you're still high."
"More or less." Zuko admitted. "It's bleeding out."
" Spirits!" Sokka hissed and let out a nervous laugh. "Well then….I suppose that means you'd do better to stay in bed today."
Zuko raised a brow at that. "As opposed to….?" His voice trailed as he propped his chin on Sokka's chest.
"Helping me clean the leopard and yak." He pointed out.
"I could sit in and offer emotional support." He said with a thoughtful tilt of his head, the corner of his lips withholding the twitch of a smile he was fighting back and failing.
The tribesman snorted in amusement. "You could." He hummed, stroking a hand thoughtfully along his jaw. The dark clutter of stubble scraped at Sokka's palm as he did so. Zuko lacked the more present and logical filter that dictated all of his thoughts and actions before they fell into public scrutiny and decided that reaching up to stroke Sokka's almost beard was a pleasant idea. The warrior stilled, face warming under Zuko's fingertips as he ran a thumb along the curve of his jaw thoughtfully.
"You look good with a beard. You should grow it out more."
"You think so?" Sokka crooked his jaw and smirked. "I was trying to decide whether to shave it or not."
"Just a trim." Zuko hummed, running his finger along the edges as he pointed out the places said trim would benefit. "Here and here. But let the rest grow. It looks nice." It added a new depth to Sokka's jawline and the prince couldn't help but imagine how that might feel on his neck or brushing his cheek against. He liked the way Sokka's body made him feel, even in quiet agonizing fantasies that he lacked the appropriate privacy to chase. He ached for the warrior and relished every close contact moment they managed to secure like this.
"I'll keep that in mind." Sokka assured as Zuko buried his face back into the tribesman's shoulder and let out a weary sigh. "Do you want to come with me to help?"
"Mmf." Zuko grunted incoherently and threw an arm around Sokka's waist in answer. "Five more minutes."
A breathy laugh though content had bubbled up from Sokka's chest as he smoothed a hand through Zuko's hair. "Alright. Five more minutes. Then I'll find you some breakfast and a seat so you can sit and watch." It sounded like a good deal to the prince.
Five minutes turned into thirty and was only interrupted when Katara came storming back into the house looking for Sokka because Bato was looking for him. She found her brother huddled on the bed with the prince tucked firmly against his side dozing softly in a state of half consciousness that was entirely to be blamed on the medicine. She stood in the doorway, arms crossed as she scowled at them both with a look of burning disapproval.
"Where's the room for Tui and La?" She snapped.
Sokka made a strangled noise of alarm as Zuko gave a breathy chuckle and stretched his shoulders comfortably. He settled his head back on Sokka and huffed out, shooting a pointed look at Katara as he sniped. "My pillow."
She sputtered as Sokka made a noise like a dying ostrich horse as he quietly slapped his palm against his forehead. " Spirits have mercy ." The warrior groaned. Zuko snickered triumphantly as Katara stalked away with nothing more to say on this topic. She threw her hands up and muttered aggressively in Water Tribe.
Unfortunately, Zuko was awake enough now to warrant rising and getting dressed. As he applied fresh salve and clean cloth bandages to his ankle, Sokka busied himself with finding them breakfast. They ate a grain like paste coated in honey with pulverized apples and warmed to just above room temperature. Fed and dressed, they made their way out of Kanna's hut with Zuko limping along at Sokka's side as the warrior balanced him with a strong arm wrapped around his shoulders. They went to a new part of the village where a small shack was built under a looming oak tree tucked behind the longhouse. The yak was hanging by a hook mostly untouched aside from the large gaping slit in its belly from pelvis to breast bone where the organs had been collected and removed.
Beside it hung what Zuko could only guess was the leopard. Its pelt was missing and he only recognized a few tufts of white fur and the bone structure that looked similar to a feline as Bato finished breaking the body down into usable portions. Most of the meatier parts of the animal was gone and the older man was dutifully sectioning off bones and vertebrae as he placed them into a large wooden barrel for later use.
Sokka had dragged a small wooden bench around and seated it in the sunny patch on the edge of the tree for Zuko to settle onto and stretch his legs out. This gave him the perfect view to watch them work as the warrior rolled his sleeves up and was quick to start skinning the yak with expert hands and an incredibly sharp knife.
"Took you long enough." Bato chided in their native tongue as he admonished Sokka. "I started on the leopard without you."
"I can see that." Sokka answered back in kind, and rolled his eyes. "Save the claws and teeth for me if you can. I can use them later."
Bato gave a small bounce of his shoulders as he declared casually. "Already set them aside for you."
"Thanks." The warrior's blade worked carefully around the jawline of the animal as he sliced the pelt away from the neck, cutting the sinew and fat layers between the skin and meat away. Inch by painstaking inch, he curled his strong fingers into the edges of the pelt and pulled, peeling it back like wet cloth after an impromptu swim. It clung to tight or awkwardly shaped areas, forcing Sokka to cut carefully at the tissue so it would give and leave the pelt intact.
Zuko had only watched this happen once before, when the men had field dressed the gemsbok bull but their work was hasty and with multiple people working away at it, and the prince being somewhat distracted, he had missed most of the process. Bato would offer assistance where it was necessary as they both gripped the ends of the pelt and peeled it down the length of the body. Their work was slow and meticulous to preserve both the pelt and avoid getting fur on the meat that would later need to be cleaned off by hand. It felt strange to Zuko, seeing a rope wound around the animal's neck as it was hoisted up onto the sturdy wooden frame and dressed down so efficiently.
It wasn't an uncomfortable feeling, just oddly primal in a back to your roots sort of way that he never felt while living in the palace. Everything was already prepared. All the work was always done ahead of time. The labor of a job well done bore fruit for someone else to enjoy and it clearly went for granted each and every time. It had always been expected back then, but now, he had a new appreciation nowadays for the effort put into feeding a person or many people for that matter. After watching his men struggle through rapidly dwindling rations and desperate hunting parties searching for food and foraging wherever they could, these little moments held a new kind of beauty to him. A relief made visible. A success that could be savored. Something he participated in that would benefit more than just himself. It was a positive change he had helped with and that he could feel proud of with no chance of feeling remorseful or guilty in the process.
He was intrigued and content, as he watched the two men work in quiet unison. They spoke without verbal direction and moved on autopilot in a way that Zuko was enamored with. Sokka worked with an intense level of concentration and devotion to the task, but it wasn't stiff. It relaxed him. It eased the tension out of his body as his jaw slackened and his knife worked with precision and care. It was fluid and direct, never a wasted movement. Never a moment of hesitation. Each pause was calculating as he planned his attack and dissected his prey with a considerate efficiency that left Zuko speechless and leaning a little forward in his seat. He had his elbows posted against his lap, eager to drink in every stretch of his hand and cut of the blade. The pelt was off in no time as Bato whisked it away to somewhere inside the shack, and returned quickly as they turned their attention to the meat.
Zuko noticed the natural seams that built the body and separated each muscle and tendon and bone. Sokka's fingers trailed those delicate lines like a detailed map well worn and beloved, familiar and nostalgic as he started to pry them apart, cutting away sinew as he pulled piece after large bloody piece away and dropped them into the wooden bucket Bato had set up to collect each bloody hunk. The yak didn't last long under their attentive gazes as they dressed it down to its bones and then sectioned that off with care. The bones were kept, going into a separate barrel from the leopard's.
The whole task lasted maybe an hour and a half at most to dress down the whole Yak, judging by the slowly climbing position of the sun. But perhaps that wasn't as reliable when Zuko couldn't recall where exactly it had been when they joined Bato at the shack. His mind was clearing which was a good sign as he extended his leg and ignored the ache in his ankle.
With both animals cleaned and cared for, Bato carried the buckets of meat off to the longhouse. Zuko's gaze followed him curiously as Sokka straightened and washed his bloody hands in a bucket of water. "They're going to salt the meat." He explained, nodding towards the barrels. "The bones will be picked out. Some like to keep certain bones for cooking and the rest will be tossed in a barrel of water to be washed and used for other things like tools and decoration."
"I see." Zuko stared contemplatively as Sokka wiped his hands clean and walked towards the prince with his knife in hand.
"Wanna see how we prepare the pelts?"
Of course he was curious, and nodded eagerly to learn something new. He followed Sokka into the shack where the yak skin and leopard skin were lying out, furs down against a worn and stained worktable. Sokka shared a worried glance at the prince when he realized the bench height was too low for the man to sit and still observe. Zuko fixed that by using it to kneel on the seat instead, successfully avoiding standing directly on his sore ankle.
Satisfied, Sokka directed their attention towards the two pelts. "Alright so, you see these pink fleshy parts?"
"Yeah." Zuko grunted.
"We need to clean those off." He gave Zuko a flat wooden tool with a thin edge. Sokka had a similar tool in hand as he started to demonstrate how they were to carefully scrape the fleshy parts away from the white portion of the pelt.
"You don't need to apply much pressure to scrape it off. Be careful not to tear through the skin. If you have a tough patch let me know, I can cut it away."
"Okay." He grunted and stared at the hand sized tool and mimicked the way Sokka had dragged it along the skin with care and years of experience. Zuko worked much slower than the tribesman but Sokka wasn't bothered by that. He didn't chastise him or grow impatient.
After a few minutes, Sokka glanced over from where he was working on the yak skin to see how Zuko was doing on the leopard skin and purred. "See, you're getting it. Good job."
The task was mindless in a pleasant way that silenced the tense thoughts that previously raced about his mind these last few days. It was easy to just lose himself to the monotony of repetitive motion. When they were finished with the fleshy portions, Sokka took the knife and trimmed the edges of both pelts. Satisfied with their cleanliness, he turned to Zuko with a grin.
"Alright, now we need to let these dry."
Zuko was a little confused about that but nodded and followed Sokka as he kindled a small fire pit near the shack. He erected the pelts so the pearly white skin side was facing the heat and set them up on wooden frames that kept them angled towards the heat but not close enough to damage them.
"Once these are dried enough, we can salt them." Sokka explained.
"How long does this process normally take?" Zuko asked, getting the impression that this process is a lot longer than he ever anticipated.
"Usually a few days."
That was a bit startling considering most of their heavier cold weather clothes were made from furs. If it took several days for each fur….he suddenly realized how hard this sort of lifestyle actually was.
It was nearing dinner time when the pelts were dry enough. Sokka took Zuko up to the shack to help him salt the furs, spreading a liberal dusting across the white fleshy portions. When it was salted to the tribesman's liking, they rolled them up tight and set them inside a bucket so they were angled and tied with twine to ensure they stayed that way.
After the salting, they returned to the house just in time to wash up for dinner. Kanna had made the arctic hens Sokka had caught the day before into a mouth watering meal using some of the moon peaches Aang had brought them. The warrior truly wasn't exaggerating when he said it was the most succulent bird he'll ever eat. This was possibly the best meal he has ever had in his entire life, and he stuck by that declaration as he had seconds and thirds.
There was more than enough bird to go around and feed their ravenous appetites, which led to him and Sokka sprawled in a tangle of weary limbs on the sofa on the cusp of a food hibernation.
"That was the best bird I have ever eaten in my life." Zuko groaned, rubbing his overly full stomach only a touch remorseful for how much he ate. It was a lot more than he usually ever allows himself to, but after he all but inhaled his first helping, Kanna had that knowing look in her eyes as she encouraged him to have more, piling tender breast meat and the sweet cooked peaches onto his plate. She didn't even need to ask when he went for thirds.
"I told you." Sokka blurted in triumph, shifting his body lazily against the cushion crammed under his head. "Gran Gran makes the best arctic hen in the whole world and I will fight anyone who dares challenge that claim."
Zuko snorted. "It's nothing like Uncle's braised duck like I was expecting." The prince's head was lying against Sokka's shoulder as they enjoyed the sleepy quiet of the house. Kanna had headed to bed early and Katara was visiting a friend of hers elsewhere in the village, allowing the two men an opportunity to get comfortable without prying eyes. "I should head to bed but I'm too full to move."
Sokka snorted. "Five more minutes." Tucking an arm around Zuko's side, he pressed his face into the crown of the prince's hair in an alarmingly affectionate gesture. Zuko stilled momentarily before he relaxed and let his head sink against Sokka's shoulder with contentment.
"What do we have to do for the pelts tomorrow?" He asked, searching for something to occupy his mind instead of focusing on the way his heart was doing somersaults in his chest. He could feel the warmth of the warrior's breath on the back of his neck, could feel the outline of his mouth against the side of his head and the tender touch of a large warm palm that lingered along his ribcage and traced a shape from mid rib down to his hip and back. It was dangerously close to being too intimate as far as the rules went but Zuko didn't mind. He felt a thrill jolt through his veins at the prospect of toeing that line like he had so many times before.
"Salt baths." Sokka explained. "Then the tanning mixture. After that you just stretch and dry it repeatedly until it's done."
Zuko hummed at that. It seemed easy enough.
They folded the pelts skin to skin repeatedly after shaking all the salt off of the hides. Sokka had explained that this helps soften it so it doesn't turn hard and leathery. Zuko worked the soft fur under his hands, following the warrior's directions and mimicking what he was doing with the yak skin.
When it was done, they mixed two large buckets with hot water from a pot they had kept boiling on the fire, and added a lot more salt and a generous scoop of seal fat from Kanna's stores. The warrior explained that this helped soften the pelts further during the salt bath. Sokka stirred the mixture until all the salt was dissolved into the water before sticking the pelts in. Using a wooden rod, he shoved them down to the bottom of the bucket and set a wooden plank over top of them to make sure nothing got into them or spilled the buckets.
Zuko wandered off to sit in on his lessons with Hama for the afternoon, going over plant names and how to make the arnica oil he was using so much of for his injured ankle. She was at least pleased with his competence in handling the injury himself in a cinch. Of course, not before she grilled him about how the injury happened in the first place in that way that teased at the prickly edges of Zuko's annoyance until he spilled the story. She was amused by the tale, and praised him for their successful hunt.
"I didn't really do much." He admitted with a shrug. For the most part, he had ended up being leopard bait.
"Had you not been there, that hunt may have gone a lot worse than it had. Thank the spirits for what it's worth and accept their generous favor."
It didn't really make sense to Zuko in all honesty but he huffed out tiredly regardless. "Agni has a funny way of showing his favor."
She chuckled and shoved another bottle towards Zuko. He inspected it and frowned. "Is this…?" He gave it a curious sniff and grimaced at the pungent scent. "Nope, not what I was expecting."
"Plantain with seal fat."
There was seal fat in it alright. He shuddered at the odor. "Why seal fat?"
"It has a medicinal property for healing minor cuts as well as treatment for burns and rashes." Zuko sagged a little as he reached up to massage his own burn scar and grimaced.
His face relaxed a little as he drifted into thought. "Is that what's in the medicine for my scar?"
"Some of it, yes." Hama admitted matter-of-fact. "It's very versatile."
He supposed it was useful, but- Agni's flaming testicles, he wished there was a way to make these things smell and taste better. This was getting ridiculous. He silently grumbled his grief over the horrible smells of the medicines until Sokka came to collect him at the end of the afternoon. He was grateful to be getting away from the pungent smell of fats and oils and into the fresh open air.
Back at the shack, Sokka had a large barrel full of water that he collected with Bato. They had apparently been collecting and boiling sea water to fill the barrel so it could clean the pelts and rinse the salt from it. Rolling them up, they squeezed as much of the fluid out of the pelts as they could before Sokka ushered Zuko toward where two large buckets were half full of a pungent disgusting mixture.
The prince took a wary step back, knocking into Sokka's shoulder as he carried his yak pelt to one of the large buckets. Sokka cocked an amused brow up at the prince as he inspected his grimace towards the vile concoction. It reminded him of the latrines which that on it's own was enough to make him want to gag.
"What is that?" Zuko blurted, holding his forearm over his nose and mouth as he kept his distance. The damp leopard pelt was still gripped tight in his free hand as he stared mournfully at the bucket waiting for him.
"Tanning mix." Sokka explained.
"And what exactly is the mix made of?"
Sokka considered the question, his lips quirked into a mockingly apologetic smile. "I don't think you want to know."
The nose burning scent of ammonia was enough to clue Zuko in on part of it as he cursed under his breath and steeled himself for the inevitable. "Tell me."
"You sure?"
"Do it before I change my mind." Zuko bristled.
"Seal fat and urine to help pickle it and keep the pelts soft." He added. "That's what you're smelling."
At this point the seal fat didn't surprise him. Everything in this place seemed to have some connection to seals and seal fat. It was understandable given the sheer number of seals that crowded the shores when they came into port and later, when they were riding on Appa. The population was booming and a very easy source of nourishment as well as utility. No, the seal fat was the least surprising thing here. So, he focused all his attention on the latter.
"Urine?" His incredulous outrage couldn't be quelled as he took two more quick, somewhat shuffling steps back. The pain of his ankle protesting the motion was ignored as Zuko blurted. "You have to be fucking with me."
Sokka snickered and shook his head. "Honestly, I wish I was." He smirked. "If it's any consolation, they get a bath after this."
"I'm gonna need a bath after this!" Zuko shouted, then, narrowing his eyes at Sokka, hissed. "I'm not touching you after you've touched that."
Sokka's face turned a light shade of pink as he shifted awkwardly and waved Zuko over. "Fine. You don't have to stick your hands in it. Just give me the pelt."
The way the warrior was watching him with so much enjoyment set Zuko's hairs on end as he took one cautious step towards him after another. He was prepared to lunge away at any moment, the mischievous glint in Sokka's eyes didn't bode well for him, and neither did the growing smirk. He nearly tossed it into the warrior's face and stayed out of arm's reach.
Sokka caught it and chuckled before putting both pelts in the bucket and pointedly used his hands to gently push them down into the mixture. He placed the plank over top of the buckets to keep them covered as they stewed in the nasty fluid for a few hours.
"How long do you think it'll take?" The prince asked.
Sokka clicked his tongue as he inspected the pelts and glanced at the sky. "About twelve hours for the leopard and at least twenty for the yak."
"Then we just stretch them after?"
"And let them dry." Sokka finished. Zuko nodded, lingering a little closer to peer at the odd mixture with a twisted look of disgust. "You did a good job today!"
Zuko very nearly leaned into the offered arm of comfort out of habit before his brain caught up. He jerked away from Sokka with a growl on his lips. "Sokka, no!" He blurted. "Don't touch me with your nasty hands."
The warrior mock pouted, sticking his bottom lip out as he stepped closer to Zuko. The prince backpedaled as he stepped away. "Aww come on Li! Just one hug?"
"No! No!" Zuko blurted, holding his hands up to defend against the open offending arms that reeked of piss.
Hakoda had stepped out into the warm afternoon light from the longhouse after helping Bato with some of the smoking earlier. His lover had his arm draped around the chief's shoulder affectionately as they both smelled of wood smoke and jerky. It had succeeded in making the older man hungry which called for a hard won lunch break. As they started down the path towards the skinning hut, he overheard a loud screech of disgust that sounded like their ornery fire ferret.
"AGNI'S BURNING BALLSACK!"
Both men turned to look at each other before addressing the humorous sight of Sokka harmlessly harassing his charge with what Hakoda could assume was the tanning mixture all over his hands. Bato had kept him up on the process and how tentatively Li was in learning from his son.
The soldier shouted, as irate as a wet cat. "I swear to the spirits Sokka, if you touch me with those nasty hands, I will kick your ass to the spirit world and back!"
"Oh come on, Li! Just one little teensy tiny hug? I just want to show you how proud I am!" Sokka lunged for the soldier but Li ducked his clumsy swipe and growled.
"Fuck off!"
He let out a hearty laugh, letting the warmth fill his chest at the scene as he leaned against Bato's side. Sokka was grinning broader than he had seen his son in months and he was grateful for that. He was thankful to the spirits for giving Sokka something worth smiling at like this. A spark of genuine happiness had entered his son's life and filled the empty space that Kya had left behind. Sokka had never been the same since losing her to a harsh winter, and their lives had all changed so drastically forcing a young boy to grow up so fast into a man. Every smile since had been fleeting, never present for long and too brief to cherish.
He worried about seeing it vanish again, feeling the bittersweetness of this gift and dreading the day Li decides to leave, taking Sokka's happiness with him. Hakoda couldn't help but worry. His son was quick to love and open his heart to new people, holding them close despite the webs of fate, and feeling raw and wounded when it's torn away from his grasp regardless of how bitterly he fought to make them stay.
"Li! Li, pretty please!" Sokka whined as the soldier kept several paces ahead of the young tribesman, using a tree to make sure they were apart.
"Suck on a cactus!" Li snapped, weaving from one side of the trunk to the other. He wasn't fast enough as Sokka snagged him around the hips and lifted him up with his arms tight around the soldier's waist. The high pitched yelp of alarm was accompanied by squirming horror. "Fuck you! Fuck you Sokka! You nasty ass platypus bear!"
"Don't be so prickly little boar-q-pine!" Sokka crooned, sing-song as he carried off his prize as Li gave into his defeat.
"Should we help him?" Hakoda asked hesitantly. Li looked like he was regretting many of his life choices that led him to this exact moment.
Bato snorted. "Nah. Sokka has it handled."
"I meant Li." Hakoda sighed.
"He'll get revenge on Sokka later." Bato assured. Hakoda chuckled.
"That's what I'm afraid of."
Bato smirked as they turned down the path and headed for his family's hut. His arm loosely hanging around Hakoda's shoulder as his fingers played with the betrothal band under his tunic sleeve, massaging the pads along the bone beading. "You think I should tell him where most of that bucket came from?"
"If you value your life, probably not." Hakoda hummed.
"Fair enough." Bato chuckled.
Sokka was nursing two very bruised shins for the rest of the day which was more than fair honestly. He deserved that. Li was keeping his distance from the warrior and glaring at him venomously over the dining room table. The warrior shrank under the soldier's bitterness, offering an apologetic smile in brief glances. Li would bristle like a wet pygmy puma and scowl harder.
Cowed like a chided hound, he slunk back to his own spot and poked at his plate, unable to ignore the amused snickers of Katara as she offered Li some more of the bread she made for their meal. Li accepted it amicably, leaving no warmth for Sokka which stung a bit and made that territorial desire snap unpleasantly in his chest and burn along his veins. He huffed and pushed the food around with his fork until Gran Gran scolded him for playing with his food like he was four years old again.
He refused to admit that he was sulking a little. Even if Katara kept shooting him accusatory looks and asking about how the pelts were coming along. Before, he had been all too eager to chat about it but now he just felt tired and worn out. He acknowledged that this feeling had been a steadily building burn out for him as weeks of tension wound up tight inside of himself. Being back home was supposed to give him so much relief and happiness, and it did to an extent but he couldn't help the way he yearned to be back on the ship with Li at his side. Or back out in the valley, just the two of them tracking down the yak herd like the universe was finally falling into perfect alignment and Sokka was happy with that. It felt natural, anytime the two of them were alone, like something clicked so easily together.
Of course, there were the rules they had to abide by, but doing so denied his heart the chance to explore and chase this feeling.
It felt stifled and suffocating under Gran Gran's intense scrutiny as she watched the two of them share so few words over dinner. Her wizened eyes drank in every encounter and dissected it in a way that left Sokka feeling raw and exposed. Her opinion on the matter was about as iron clad as law, and he felt like he was on the brink of overstepping and losing this connection to Li just to suit everyone else.
Rarely was Sokka the first to leave the dinner table, but tonight he felt like a wick burning at both ends and he didn't have enough to spare for Gran Gran's sharp eyes and the unspoken words already gathering to spring on him when he was alone. Li gave him an odd look, shedding the bristling hardened exterior with a flash of worry. It warmed Sokka a bit more to know the man wasn't that upset with his earlier antics, before he headed to bed for the night.
Without the quiet crash of the waves against the hull or the errant cries of sea birds and the bountiful raucous of the crew to lull him to sleep, Sokka found it hard to give in each night. Even the bustling noise of the Earth Kingdom encampment during the day was enough to soothe his mind and force himself to succumb to exhaustion each morning after brutal nights of stalking through the forest unseen and the heart pounding excitement of close quarters combat.
In the peaceful idleness of home, he was restless and uncomfortable. He tossed and turned in a bed that felt too big despite being only a tiny bit bigger than his cot on the ship. His room felt too dark without the moonlight shining through the porthole or the sun bathing the cot in a natural blanket of warmth. He hated how still everything was. How familiar yet foreign his own bedroom felt. How strange it was to have a routine again, monotonous and simple as it was. How it lacked the thrill of the unknown and the surprises his fire ferret had in store for him each day. He missed that innocent intimacy without the judgemental looks that accompanied it here.
Sleep, as it often did since he came home, happened in restless fits. He never achieved true sleep that offered any real reprieve from his fatigue but Sokka had gotten used to shoving that feeling off and neglecting the way his eyes burned part way through the day from exhaustion, and focused on whatever could offer him the briefest emotional high to fuel his second wind. It was easier with mind numbing physical tasks that left a residual ache in his muscles from the extended effort. He could just throw himself into those tasks.
At the crack of dawn, he elected that now was as good a time as ever to check on the pelts. Pulling his boots on first, he then drew the parka over his shoulders to ward off the crisp early morning chill that left a light dusting of frost on everything. As he stepped out of his room, Sokka was greeted with a tired smile from the soldier as he sat curled up on the couch looking like he failed to catch a single wink of sleep the whole night. The soft scent of tea permeated the air in whispers of Ginseng that Sokka recognized, stirring a desperate ache in his chest as his eyes fell wistfully on the man.
Li gazed up at him, offering a small shrug of his shoulders. He had his knees tucked comfortably to his chest as he reclined against the arm of the sofa and rested his head oddly against the back. A red impression was left lingering on the right side of his face where the soft skin was darkened by the shadows of similar sleeplessness.
"Trouble sleeping?" Sokka's voice sounded rough in his own throat, coming out brittle and raspy.
Li answered with a small quiet nod. "Yeah." He unfolded from his huddle and carefully placed both feet on the ground before rising. He kept his voice low, as Sokka stepped towards him, extending a hand to steady the soldier when he put weight on his twisted ankle. It was still tightly wrapped with the faded healing bruises peeking up from the cloth.
He leaned into Sokka's touch, seeking it out as he stepped hesitantly into his space and admitted. "I don't sleep well on land."
Sokka swallowed thickly and gave a quiet grunt of agreement. "Neither do I." They were wayfarers in a war waged in unfamiliar territory, aching for the blue tides to carry them away from it all. Poetic, he thought ruefully.
Li's gaze lifted and flitted from Sokka's eyes down to his mouth. He chewed on his lower lip with a conflicted look of indecision. It hurt so much, to see the chance and be forced to silence the voice that screamed in the back of his head to seize it and never let it go. The soldier seemed to rock forward on his toes, like he was going to tempt fate and close that gap, stealing a blissful eagerly awaited taste of what they could have. Instead, seemingly smothered at the last moment, he decided to let his head rest against Sokka's chest with a shaky sigh. Sokka felt that deep in his bones as he circled his arms around Li's shoulders and exhaled to calm his own rapidly beating heart.
"We should probably go check on those pelts." Sokka offered, reluctantly, a safer option. Li sagged against him and nodded.
"Yeah."
As Sokka explained, Zuko listened with half a mind to the work. He was struggling to focus on the task in front of him no matter how many times he told himself it was important. He kept thinking back to their moment in the living room, with Sokka looking down at him with so much want and Zuko ached to be touched by those hands and dragged into strong arms and taste his lips. To relish the feel of Sokka's mouth, hot on his skin and the weight of his body pushing Zuko back into the nearest surface.
It was wild and untamed like a forest fire that spread throughout his whole body, unyielding to the laws that attempted to cage them both. A traitorous part of Zuko entertained the achingly familiar fantasy of stealing a boat and making a run to Kyoshi and wandering the Earth Kingdom as a refugee or vagrant, but last night Sokka had accompanied him. They had traveled far beyond the rules of the tribe and the expectations of the Fire Nation and did as they pleased, as two individuals without the weight of their peers holding them down. Without judgement or fear of what could happen if they were caught. They would be two nameless faceless wanderers who could love each other as they pleased. They'd spin their own tale of romance and adventure that would rival the Secret Tunnel lovers and Love Amongst The Dragons .
It would be uniquely and undeniably theirs.
Zuko knew better than to steep his hopes in wild fantasy. It made for bitter tea he would never be able to stomach in the end. Like all legendary romances, it would inevitably end in tragedy, because the spirits were cruel like that. They wove a tapestry of fate and dangled the potential before their eyes only to snatch it away at every turn, watching Zuko fruitlessly grasp at something he was never meant to reach for. Like trying to capture the moon, it was an impossible feat.
He forced his thoughts to quiet for what felt like the tenth time today as Sokka showed Zuko how to lay the pelt out on the tanning rack and stretch it carefully. He explained the softness of the skin underneath and worked the soft fur under his hands where it was still damp and malleable.
"Don't worry about the smell. The sun will get rid of it once it dries." Sokka pointed out as they arranged the rack so it was near the low burning fire and lying directly in the early morning sun. He could barely feel the heat of it on his wind nipped cheeks as the prince crouched beside the fire and warmed his fingers.
Sokka wasn't adamant enough in this lesson to demand his full attention. He seemed more content to work numbly on the task just to occupy his mind. Zuko didn't begrudge him that chance as he used a stick that was charred at the end to draw little designs into the stones surrounding the burning pit.
Mostly he ended up drawing a pretty accurate depiction of a turtleduck considering he wasn't using charcoal and parchment for the sketch. He was so absorbed in the imagery of the turtleduck and the reeds of the pond around it that he didn't notice Sokka had approached from his left. The warrior had leaned over his shoulder to peer at what he was doing, causing Zuko to startle in surprise as the misshapen shadow in his periphery. He jerked and ducked his head while simultaneously striking up at the movement near his head. His knuckles met hard skin as his fist made contact with the tribesman's pec. It was pretty sturdy under his fist and caused a ripple of discomfort through his hand as Sokka drew away with a surprised grunt of his own.
"Sorry!" Zuko whirled around to face him, dropping the charred stick into the edge of the fire as one hand reached cautiously for the warrior. Sokka rubbed at his chest, wide eyed before his jaw crooked with an amused smirk.
"Got me right in the tit." He huffed. "I probably deserved that but damn." He took a step closer to peer back over Zuko's shoulder as the prince flushed brightly in embarrassment. The larger man studied his charred drawings on the grey ashy stone and hummed.
"These are really good." He pointed at the turtleduck thoughtfully. "This looks familiar. I think I've seen these in the Earth Kingdom."
Zuko relaxed after a moment and nodded. Collecting himself, he found his words and stretched his legs out across the grass. "They're native to the Earth Kingdom but some were brought over to the Fire Nation to be raised as exotic pets or culinary delicacies."
"These are on your sea chest too, right?"
He nodded. "There was a breeding pair that lived in the pond my mother would take me to when I was a child. We would feed them bread and watch the ducklings each spring." It was one of the memories he cherished the most in those years when leaving his bedchamber was a daunting task, and Ursa would have to carry him through the palace halls because his legs wouldn't hold him up for the long walk to the gardens.
"That's really cute honestly." Sokka smiled, letting a hand settle on Zuko's shoulder fondly. "You seem to have a knack for animals."
The prince shrugged at that. "I like them. Turtleducks especially. They remind me of my mom and of the good things I left behind when I joined the military."
"I bet that was hard." The tribesman sighed. "For whatever reason you chose to do it, I am happy that you're here, Li." There was a pause, then Sokka added. "Even if it's only for the winter."
His heart started doing weird leaps inside his chest, fluttering quick like a hummingbird as he nodded, dropping his gaze to the char marks on the stones. "Me too." He agreed softly. "I'm uh- I'm happy to be here too, Sokka. To have met you."
The smile he received with that felt like the sun finally creeping out from behind the thick cloud coverage, a warm relief swept over him as he basked in its presence. Sokka seemed a touch more bashful and giddy at the admission and turned his head to scan the dirt tracks between the longhouse and smaller homes just to gather his composure a little. Zuko grinned at the steadily failing attempt as Sokka floundered a moment then turned back to study the prince thoughtfully.
"How about a snack break?"
That sounded like music to Zuko's ears as he nodded enthusiastically. His stomach rumbled obscenely in agreement as Sokka offered him an arm up and steadied him on his feet. Settled in place, they picked the path they wanted and started the slow companionable trek back to Kanna's house. Sokka's arm had resumed its affectionate hold on him as Zuko leaned into his side and relished this quaint monotony they had carved out for themselves. It was a safe foundation that nobody else could take from them and the prince cherished that fact as they wandered the village in a sedated pace as he moved tentatively on his injured ankle.
Chapter Text
As they sailed for warmer shores and the stretch of blackened beaches that signalled they were home, Lu Ten couldn’t help but feel a renewed energy that vibrated through his body as his eyes gazed upon the gentle lapping waves that brushed affectionate hands across the hull as the ship parted them and surged towards their final destination. Home had felt like a daunting endeavor this last month as he sought after every lead and thread that might lead him to Zuko.
He was filled with a rekindled hope at the assurances of the brave young maiden Yue, who’s brilliant blue eyes had met his with so much confidence as he lamented the loss of his cousin beyond his reach. Her smile was like the rising sun as he fell beneath its rays with reverence. The fear that had eaten him raw from the inside out had been soothed with the loving balm of her comforts to him and the promise to keep in touch.
Call him a bit impatient, but he couldn’t help but write to her as soon as they boarded the ship, sending the first message extending his immense appreciation for her kindness, even if he had made himself seem so obvious in his efforts, she had been considerate enough to hear him out. That strange encounter in the back alley of the port town had been burned into his thoughts.
The firm press of muscular thighs that straddled him, the taut edge and coiled precision of her body as she leaned forward, emanating nothing but a deadly promise with the cold tip of her knife at his throat. She was larger than any woman he has ever met before, standing a good few inches over him when he was back on his feet, forcing him to tilt his head up to meet her eyes. That fact alone was something that both intimidated and excited him, the prospect of someone so wild and fierce, as benevolent as the sea and its changing tides but just as daunting as they crash against any obstacle that dares to stand in its path. They were kindness and hostility, a cold promise and a warm reprieve all bundled into one beautiful woman that he couldn’t tear his eyes away from.
Yue had answered his letter in kind a day after they left port, and accompanied it with a small inked drawing that one of the children on her ship had made with the supplies she was purchasing at the shop he met her in. He grinned at the simplistic drawing of a bird and a fish that had been inked onto parchment. It reminded him of his little cousins. Of Zuko when he had grown bored of the lessons on his alphabet and started drawing turtleducks and meadow voles in the margins of his papers.
He fondly recalled more than a few dozen reports he and General Iroh had received from the young prince that had much more artistically rendered depictions of familiar animals crawling across the margins and below his official signature. He recalled one of frogs and frog squirrels dueling it out in armed combat as caricatures of animalistic warriors like the spirit tales and plays he read as a boy. When asked on the topic, the bashful young prince had told both Lu Ten and his father the story behind the feuding factions of frogs and frog squirrels that he had dreamt about and pondered in idle stints of daydreaming when there was nothing to occupy his mind. He had an imagination that was fitting for a playwright, and had them both in fits of amused laughter over dinner.
Apparently he had forgotten that he covered the entire back of the scroll in this armada of hybrid war mongering before sending it up to General Iroh for approval.
Lu Ten knew for a fact that his father had kept the scroll and framed it neatly on his wall in his personal quarters, proud and amused every time he looked upon it. It was a similar pleasure that the prince felt now as he placed the pictures from Yue’s children on his own wall overlooking his desk and smiled fondly at the little sketches. He had similar doodles from young Azula before she was caught up in this mindset that princesses don’t doodle, or how it's unlady-like and unbecoming of a royal. Certainly Ozai’s doing, and Lu Ten was sad to see that creative spark in her gutter before it could truly burn, unlike Zuko’s that roared like a barely contained inferno. It wasn’t stifled and suffocated from a young age by the unrealistic expectations of Ozai’s. Ignoring the young prince was possibly the best thing Ozai could have done for the boy as he learned to explore and find himself through various means. With swords and theater, music and art and many more rare joys he allowed himself to succumb to when the opportunity for relaxation and indulgence permitted.
It was near the shores of his home as they pulled into the port of Caldera that a messenger hawk flew in to greet him. Lu Ten offered his arm to the bird, allowing its talons to gently alight upon his forearm and balance before carrying it into the bridge where he could retrieve the scroll. It had been quite a few days since he had last seen Yue and he had eagerly awaited her next letter, keeping his eyes to the sky as he searched for the familiar reddish brown of the hawks.
His heart leapt joyously inside his chest when he spied the origin of the letter. With it came another tucked inside of it that Lu Ten smiled fondly at and wondered what new pictures accompanied it this time. He carried the letters to his private quarters where he was able to read them without his crew staring oddly at the stupid smile that usually plastered across his face. It was unprofessional of him to show such uncontained feelings in front of his men. Needless to say, it would actually start quite a few rumors that the prince wasn’t in the mind to squash, especially so close to the docks.
Unfurling the first letter, he noted it was brief as far as Yue’s past letter had been. She greeted him warmly in the introductory lines, and quickly shifted to a more professional phrasing that made his heart skip with worry.
I hope this letter finds you well, Lu Ten. My apologies for being so short, as this felt like a matter of the utmost importance. Our Raven Eagle intercepted this message flying on a Water Tribe gull headed for the Northern Tribes. I hope the information on it could offer some comfort to you in these difficult times.
Fondly, your friend,
Daughter of the Sea, Yue
Worried, Lu Ten set Yue’s letter aside and inspected the other parchment. It was made of a different kind of paper, though more commonly found in the shops of the southern most ports of the Earth Kingdom. It was a little worn at the edges where it had been stored somewhere that left it ruffled and had a faint smell of wood smoke to it.
The Earth Kingdom writing reminded him of his father’s flowing letters, which looked a lot less like the formal Fire Nation imperialist script and more like something he’d expect to feel romantic and intimate.
My dearest Pakku,
It is good to have my family together again for another long winter. As the cold weather approaches, I can’t help but feel that a part of that cherished blessing is missing with each year we go by without Kya. My son has found a new love to warm his heart but the pain in his eyes still returns when his mind wanders and his duties are too few to keep it busy. He finally moved out of the family home and in with Bato when they returned from the war. I can only hope it will ease Hakoda's burdens and soothe the pain of losing the brightest star in his life. Our house will never feel the same again without her.
You inquired in your letter before about whether we have added any new additions to the tribe this year. Sokka had brought home his first war prize, a development I am conflicted about. He is a young soldier that goes by the name of Private Li, but my son and grandson have informed me that this is a cover name to hide his real identity. He is far too small to be a Fire Nation soldier and has a large burn scar on the left side of his face. I would have thought it to be a debilitating injury but Sokka and Hakoda have confirmed, he is more than capable regardless of the injury.
He is a strange but very polite young man. I had to laugh when his first meeting with our village elders, he offered us a gift of Jasmine tea. I recalled when you told me of a Fire Nation officer that had offered you a similar gift when seeking counsel from your tribe so many years ago.
He is strong willed and determined when given the opportunity to flourish, stubbornly taking any task and learning whatever he can when available. Hama has taken him as her apprentice in the healing hut proving to be a valuable addition so far. Then just the other day, Sokka had taught Li how to tan the pelts after they had a very successful hunt and returned with a polar leopard, a yak and a few arctic hens. Sokka has never been so happy since the loss of Kya and Li has brought back the life in his eyes. He is smitten with the young soldier but I fear that come Spring, he will only find pain should the young man decide to leave.
This is my conflict. I want Sokka to be happy, but Hakoda and I both know that Sokka loves so easily and while this young man seems to have taken to him quickly and trusts my grandson more than anyone else in the whole village, he is also skittish and clearly frightened of something more beyond our walls. He has so many secrets and I can tell it's tearing Li up inside. It is a pain he harbors so closely that does not happen overnight. Sokka seems to ease it but I don’t know how long that balm will last.
I fear that this young man is like an untamed flame and Sokka will continue to reach for it until he is left blistered and burned no matter how careful he is in handling him. Not at all the fault of Li, it is only his nature.
Perhaps you may have some advice on the subject, my dear. I’m afraid that my and Hakoda’s efforts to warn Sokka to take care with this man will only succeed in shoving him away. He is as stubborn as his father was at that age, so bullheaded and bright minded but still so naive. I should be thankful to Tui and La that the war hasn’t taken that from him yet. I just wish they wouldn’t have to leave come Spring. I can’t lose another member of my family, I’m not sure how much this old heart of mine can take anymore.
Lovingly yours,
Kanna of the Southern Water Tribe
Well then, that was a lot for Lu Ten to take in. He was left speechless, reading the letter over and over again as he let the unfamiliar characters burn into his mind and sink in where he could process it all. The good news was, Zuko was safe and sound, just as Yue had assured him his cousin would be. It sounds like they’ve steadily begun to integrate him into the tribe and teach him the ins and outs of living in such a cold place. Thinking about it now, he wasn’t at all surprised that Zuko ended up a healer’s apprentice. He had a knack for reading the human body and a limitless craving for knowledge that he soaked up like a pygmy puma in the sun. Though, trying to wrap his head around Zuko hunting down a yak was probably the most shocking mental image he could think of, and simultaneously hilarious to imagine his tiny cousin face to face with a ferocious beast and scaring it off with his stubbornness and award winning scowl.
His humor was dampened at the reminder that they knew Zuko’s false identity was just that, but the tone of the letter didn’t seem hostile towards this fact. It felt cautious, like they were anticipating a deeper reason behind it than just hiding from the enemy. Kanna described Zuko as being skittish and frightened which weren’t the kind of words he would have used to describe his cousin, not as the man he was now but that brought forth a new concern for Lu Ten.
Neither he nor his father has seen Zuko in almost a year. They were well aware that the young prince had faced numerous struggles during that time, often delivered at Ozai’s neglectful hands but to make Zuko fearful? Something was wrong and he wasn’t sure what exactly. He needed to know more about what transpired in that mountain pass.
Zuko had always been a touch more wary in the past, but he still held himself with confidence and strength. To be showing something so vulnerable as this, before the eyes of strangers, he was either a world class actor to bend their sympathies which didn’t sound like his cousin in the slightest, or something had happened that had terribly hurt his cousin deeper than any wound ever could.
That thought alone filled Lu Ten with a rage and sorrow that clashed inside him stronger than any typhoon. Carefully, he tucked the letter from Kanna away so it could be passed on to his father later, and stowed Yue's letter with its predecessor for safe keeping.
For now, he needed to tend to the ship and oversee the crew as they prepared to dock.
Lu Ten barely made it through the front door before his father was throwing his arms around him in a hug fit to make an armadillo bear envious. The young prince barely had the chance to put his bag down before he was being dragged into the familiar embrace that refused to give an inch. He slipped his arms easily around the old dragon and smiled warmly.
"It's good to see you father."
"My son!" Iroh declared jovially. "I have missed you dearly." He straightened enough to give Lu Ten a scrutinizing once over as his mouth curved in an uncontained grin. Over his shoulder, Lu Ten spied Lady Ursa standing politely in the doorway.
The young prince stepped away from his father and offered his aunt a more reserved hug. She folded into his arms with a quiet shuddering sigh that broke into a stifled sob, her face creased with worry lines and darkened by sleepless grief.
"I'm so sorry about Zuko." And he meant it. He tried so hard to catch up with the water tribe fleet, but the news came too late and even with the speedy metal ships of the Fire Navy, they were no match for the navigational skills of the Southern Tribes and their knack for discretion. It was like trying to catch a ghost if they didn't want to be caught.
Lady Ursa sagged against his chest as she gripped Lu Ten's shoulders and trembled. He could imagine how she felt right now, the resentment at the unfairness. To see Iroh happy with his own son, while hers is lost beyond her reach. She didn't know what he and Iroh knew, and they hoped to keep that from spreading and alerting Ozai in any way possible. He will see her happy soon, she just needed to hold out a little longer. They couldn't reach Zuko right now, but that meant neither could Ozai or anyone else that might wish the young prince harm.
He was reassured with the words of that letter that depicted a water tribe warrior so devastatingly in love with his cousin, and a love like that, if true, would burn the world down to protect him. Lu Ten had no fear for Zuko's safety in the south. This Sokka that Kanna wrote about, sounded like he had the young prince under his utmost care.
As Lady Ursa composed herself, Lu Ten stroked a hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, offering an apologetic smile as he steadied her. "Where is Azula?" He asked gently, noting the absence of the princess.
Lady Ursa's expression fell to one of disdain as she withheld the urge to roll her eyes. "In a meeting with her father. He requested that she sit in to observe and learn about trade negotiations. Ever since we heard of Zuko's-" The bitterness in her voice plummeted to a choked grief before she drew in a calming breath and continued. "Ever since we heard, Ozai has been keeping Azula more busy than ever. She hasn't had a moment's peace to mourn her brother."
"I see." Of course the conceited bastard would keep her on a short leash. As far as he was aware, he had nothing more to worry about with Zuko's loss. Lu Ten's jaw tensed as he chewed bitterly on the thought.
"You must be tired after your long journey, my son." Iroh coaxed, setting a reassuring hand upon his back as he turned knowing eyes upon the younger man. Lu Ten relaxed and nodded.
"Yeah." He admitted with a deep sigh.
"Come, let me walk you to your room and brew you a cup of calming Jasmine tea while you unpack."
Lady Ursa bid him an appreciative nod as Iroh steered him gently down the jarringly silent halls of the palace. It was so terribly quiet and empty aside from the sparse placement of guards in choice locations. The servants scurried in the shadows like meadow voles, hoping to remain unseen as if they were predators to be feared. It sickened him. It wasn't at all like the camaraderie of the navy that he had grown so fond of, with the close claustrophobic quarters and almost intimate familiarity between crewmen as they worked, ate, slept and drank elbow to elbow with one another.
His room didn't feel like his since he spent so many years living in the stateroom on his ship. This felt unused and polished, absent of the same fond memories that he had packed into the ship's own. The bed was made, kept cared for and clean. The shelves were dusted and everything felt so awkwardly large. Familiar yet foreign like a memory from a dream he barely remembered.
Of course his father had already arranged for a tea set to be prepared. Iroh never allowed the servants to serve them when it came to tea. It was something he had always taken a great joy in himself as he poured for them, even offering to do so for grandfather, Firelord Azulon. It was unheard of in previous generations, but no one could deny the honest fact that Prince Iroh made the best cup of tea you'll ever taste in the four nations.
As Lu Ten placed his bag on the bed, his father settled at the small table and sofa where the tea set was arranged near the fireplace. The teapot was set to boil while he shed the stiff layers of his uniform down to his under clothes.
Iroh hummed thoughtfully, regarding him with a quiet nod when he glanced over his shoulder to find his father. "I sent a letter to an old pai sho friend up north, informing him of the unfortunate news. I expect his condolences any day now."
Lu Ten understood the cautious wording. In the palace, they never knew who was listening in on their private moments. No corner was safe from deceitful spiders hiding in carefully spun shadows. The prince nodded along, letting his shoulders sag in relief once the weight of his duties were discarded onto the bed.
"They're very kind to send them, father." He assured, straightening up as he reached inside his pocket to retrieve Kanna's letter. "I've made my own friend and they respectfully send theirs as well."
Iroh took the letter with care and turned back to the fire as the teapot started to steam. He tucked it inside his pocket for the moment as he prepared their tea, pouring a cup for each of them. Lu Ten followed him to the sofa and settled down with a weary sigh of relief. The warmth of the ceramic cup held between his palms soothed the tightly wound tension that knotted up inside of him.
Once seated and acquainted with the tea, Iroh withdrew the letter to give it a read. Lu Ten watched him over the rim of his cup as his father's eyes first read the greeting line. They flitted up towards him, a spark of surprise there as he studied his son closely, then lowered it back to drink in the contents of the letter. Just like his son, Iroh had to read it more than once, taking the utmost care the second time to let the words sink in.
"You have a very kind and generous friend, my son." Iroh admonished.
Lu Ten couldn't hide the smile that danced on his lips, though he tried fruitlessly to stifle it behind the rim of his cup. Iroh's knowing look was intrigued and amused as he held the letter up. "Might I keep this so that it gets to its intended recipient?"
"Of course, father." Lu Ten settled the empty tea cup in his lap as he watched his father raise the delicate china to his lips and savor the flavor of such an enlightening drink. It gave him warm memories of when the three of them sailed together, sharing tea and tales in the General's room.
"More tea?" He asked.
Lu Ten agreed as Iroh had already moved to pour, knowing his son's habits well and how much he missed the taste of home and the comfort of his family.
"So, this friend of yours…." Iroh trailed with a mischievous smile, settling the warm cup in his grasp. "Are they perhaps a lady friend ?"
Lu Ten groaned miserably, but it was all an act. He would never deny his father the chance to rib him affectionately like this, even if he saw it coming before the words left the old dragon's mouth. "Father." He sighed, letting the smile on his lips grow with each passing second until his cheeks hurt as he thought adoringly of the fierce seafarer he had encountered. The mirth in his father's eyes told the young prince that Iroh recognized that look and it filled him with unrestrained joy.
Notes:
A couple people made the request and so now Yue is taller than Lu Ten. I couldn't logically make her 6"7 like yall wanted so shes more of a 6"3. About Bato's and Sokka's height in this.
Lu Ten likes tall women that could throw him on his back and kick his ass any day of the week and that's honestly a mood.
So enjoy your buff pirate lady.
My wifey is trying to convince me to write another AU off this concept where instead of Sokka taking Zuko as a war prize, its Pirate Queen Yue taking Lu Ten as a pirate's spoil. I am very tempted but if anyone else wants to write it, feel free. I'd love to read it. I'm a bit preoccupied with this fic right now to try and juggle two of these at once.
She is also trying to convince me (with more success) to start a side fic thats just a series of one shot stories of stupid things the characters in this universe have done and sort of Outtakes that I couldnt put in this story but still found hilarious and want to write anyway. So keep an eye out for that.
If anyone wants to write anything about this universe or inspired by it or anything like that, feel free. I would LOVE to read it. I love seeing your guys theories and thoughts and hearing your ideas. It gives me life and inspires me to do more.
Although my wife is laughing everytime one of yall shoots an idea at me and I'm looking at the chapter I'm currently writing or have already written with that idea in it like "These fools be using sorcery to predict what I'm planning and it's getting terrifyingly accurate."
But I love it. Keep it up. Thank you all so so much!!
Chapter Text
“Sokka!” The warrior groaned at the sound of being woken up so early in the morning. “Sokka!” Sleep had held him so pleasantly in its folds for the first time in a long time. He rolled back over, turning his back on the offending hand that jabbed him in the ribcage.
A groan left his chest as he mumbled out. “Five more minutes.”
“Sokka, it's snowing!”
“It does that.” His sleep-addled mind supplied numbly as he buried his face into his pillow. He was not expecting to get flopped on top of with the familiar small frame of his overly eager fire ferret straddling him. His eyes flew open in surprise as he started to twist to see what exactly the soldier was doing on his back. He was met with chilled hands gripping either side of his face and squishing his cheeks together as a pair of molten gold eyes stared him down.
“I hope you are aware that I have never seen snow fall in my entire life. Get up or I’ll shove a fistful down your pants.”
That should have been a laughable threat, it should have sounded childish and hilarious to imagine, but the dangerous edge to the soldier’s voice was a promise the warrior wasn’t looking forward to. His feisty little fire ferret could be completely terrifying at times and that fact alone has a wave of heat rushing to some very worrisome places considering how Li was straddling his hips at the moment.
“Alright, alright. I yield.” The warrior grunted through the cold hands that were assaulting his face with their touch. Spirits, they needed to get Li some proper gloves and boots for the weather. He was going to lose a toe or finger at this rate given the cold temperatures were just going to get steadily worse.
Li slid off of his hips, landing himself in the temporary ravine between the warrior's bulky frame and the wall. His legs were laying across Sokka's as he leaned back seemingly comfortable to use him as a leg rest until he got up. It didn't miss Sokka that the position offered the soldier enough leverage to start shoving him off the mattress should the tactic prove necessary.
He stared at Li's feet as they dangled off the edge of the bed before reaching out to grip his calf. "Let me see your foot."
"My ankle sprain healed." Li answered automatically but allowed the warrior to grip his ankle and inspect it. Li had to stretch his leg and adjust to the angle so the tribesman could get a better look.
"That's good and all, but I'm checking your size." He grunted.
"My size?"
"Yeah." After a rough estimation, Sokka let Li go and tipped his head back to holler through the doorway in his native tongue. "Hey Katara!"
There was a pause, before a slightly annoyed sisterly huff followed. "Yeah?"
"Do you still have any pairs of your old boots lying around?"
A quiet thump followed accompanied by footsteps as she approached his door and shoved back the curtain. "Why?"
"I think one of your old pairs might fit Li." He gave the soldier's leg a pat. She settled one hand on her hip and leaned against the frame thoughtfully, taking in the comfortable tangle they were laying in on the bed. Sokka was still half buried under his furs with the smaller man twisted askew across his waist. "He needs new boots for our weather."
"I'll look." She nodded, considerate now as she furrowed her brows in thought. He assumed she was trying to remember where she put them, if she hadn't already lent them to someone else in the village. "I'll see if I have any spare gloves too."
Sokka smiled, letting his voice sing song sweetly. "Thank you little sister."
He caught the way she rolled her eyes as she turned away, her smile dancing on her lips in amusement. It took Sokka another minute to stretch, dislodging Li from his comfortable spot once more and causing the soldier to sag against his side to avoid sliding off the foot of the bed. His shoulders unwound in a pleasant pop as Sokka groaned and sighed contentedly.
"We need to find you a proper yak wool coat one of these days." Throwing himself forward with a similar noisy groan, he grumbled against his stiff joints as his body started to unwind. "I feel old."
Li snorted at that. "How old even are you?"
"I'll be twenty five next month." It wasn't something he really thought about much. Not since he was sixteen and was able to go ice dodging for the first time in his life. It was a Water Tribe rite of passage that every young man looks forward to. Though, Sokka had twisted the rules a little about who he could take with him as part of his crew. Katara was able to join him, because otherwise she would have never forgave him for leaving her behind. Girls weren't technically meant to go but the rules only stated she couldn't lead the ice dodging test, not that she couldn't be a part of Sokka's crew. Aang had also joined them, filling out the third member as Hakoda and Bato sat in to observe their teamwork.
Sokka had never felt prouder as they received their honorary marks. Gran Gran had made a feast to celebrate as their tiny home became lively once again.
Since then, he hasn't lent much attention to the time of the year, other than the fact he shared a month with a good third of the village's occupants. It was one of the busiest months of the year for births, and that was entirely at the fault of the Spring festival. With so many births then, the village had its own celebration as they crowded together in the longhouse for a feast.
"You're the same age as me." Li blanched. "I thought you were a lot older."
Sokka raised a brow at that, semi-amused. He wasn't sure if being older in appearance was a compliment or an insult.
"Sokka!" Katara called in Water Tribe, stirring him up that last little bit. He moved Li's legs out of the way as his feet met the cold floor. A shiver raced through him as he stretched one final time and shuffled out of the room to see what his baby sister was up to.
They ate a hot breakfast together that Gran Gran prepared for them, as she discussed her need for Katara's help at Pana's to prepare for tonight's celebration.
"There's another one?" Li asked quietly, leaning closer to Sokka to ask.
Sokka nodded and swallowed his mouthful before explaining. "We celebrate the first snowfall. It's smaller than the last feast."
Li looked perplexed by that. So Sokka continued. "It's symbolic for the winter as we pray for the favor of the spirits to keep our village safe through these cold months. There is a hot meal usually from a large stew pot, Pana always makes her honey cakes and we drink warm cider and sit around the longhouse listening to spirit tales."
"That's it?" Li asked.
"Yeah. Expecting something more?"
"No, just- it sounds so calm and relaxing." He looked excited by that, his eyes alight with anticipation.
"It is." Sokka hummed.
After breakfast, it was a comical attempt to get Li dressed. The soldier had put his scout uniform on first then came the fur leggings Gran Gran found stowed in a chest that used to be Sokka's back when he was a teenager from before he hit his growth spurt. Then they put one of the winter coats on him that Sokka got from the tailor followed by one of dad's old yak wool coats that swallowed him up. Thick wool socks and a pair of Katara's old boots fit just right, finished off with a yak wool scarf and seal skin mittens.
Sokka pulled Li's hood up over his head where his hair was tied in a hasty braid, and chuckled when all he could see now was the soldier's golden eyes. The warrior only wore a parka to ward off the brisk wind and didn't layer anything quite yet, but seeing Li all bundled up and barely able to move was enough to send Katara into a fit of giggles. Even Gran Gran was smiling.
He managed to hold his own laughter in, letting it bleed into a smile as he asked. "Warm enough?"
Li nodded.
"You sure? I can still see your eyes."
The scowl was not lost through all those layers. Li promptly turned and shuffled towards the door in a waddling fashion, eager to see the snow that had accumulated on the ground. There was only a couple inches and it was still very fine and powdery, but that didn't matter for the soldier who's good eye lit up with awe. He craned his head up to the sky and watched the fat fluffy flakes drift down to land on his face with a few that clung to his lashes before melting with the heat of his cheeks. The wind was a calm breeze that made the flakes dance all around them.
It took a moment for Sokka to realize, the soldier didn't seem to know what to do with himself like this. He just shuffled a few steps, stared at the clean stretch of untouched snow across the backyard and breathed. The little white clouds rose from where the scarf was hiding his mouth and dispersed quickly in the cold air. Sokka chuckled and scooped a handful of the snow up in his gloves and gave it a little shake above Li's head. It sifted through his fingers and fell on his hood, causing him to duck with a squeak of surprise. He whirled on Sokka and narrowed his eyes suspiciously as he reached up to paw the clumps off his hood.
The warrior grinned back at him. "Just wait til it gets damp. We could have a snowball fight."
"A snowball fight?" He sounded genuinely confused by that concept and that alone pained Sokka to hear.
"We are going to teach you all the wonders of snow in no time, buddy. Just you wait." Sokka assured, placing a hand on his back and leading him down the dirt path towards the shoreline. "But for now, let's see if the otter penguins are around."
Li looked even more confused but quickly conceded to Sokka's winter wisdom and shuffled along by his side. The warrior couldn't help but chuckle at that. This would help in a pinch but they seriously needed clothes more Li's size so he has some mobility. He'll probably need to ask Pana or Gran Gran for help on that, but that was a worry for another day.
As they headed for the shoreline, Sokka steered them away from the docks and picked their way across the slippery rocky terrain towards where the seals often lounged beneath the sun. Usually the otter penguins would take to wandering the shore as the colony shuffled along and swooped between chasing fish and running around on land to avoid the orcas patrolling the waves. Sokka had come prepared, having wrapped two dried fish up and stuffed them in his pocket, he led Li along the uneven stretch of terrain until they found some flat footing to stabilize themselves. One hand held the soldier steady as they walked, ensuring he didn’t slip and fall or get hurt.
He noticed his ferret was breathing a little heavier in the cold air as little clouds of white fluttered up between them. Turning a curious eye on the smaller man, Sokka asked. “You warm enough?”
Li nodded quickly.
“Not too warm though? You don’t want to break a sweat in these cold climates. It’ll put you at risk of hypothermia.” He shook his head in answer.
“Is it hard to breathe?” Sokka asked.
He was answered by Li’s hand shaking in a so-so gesture. Then, after a moment, he huffed out. “Burns a little in my lungs.”
“Yeah, the cold does that.” The warrior agreed. “If you need a minute to catch your breath, just let me know.”
Li nodded again but continued to trudge beside Sokka. The noisy quacks and screeches of the otter penguins were a familiar and shrill cacophony that filled their ears as they approached the flock. “There are so many!” Li blurted, wrinkling his nose as a cold wind whipped at the exposed pale skin of his cheeks under his eyes. They turned a soft shade of pink along with the tip of his nose as he watched the waddling hoards of penguins.
“If you’re fast enough, you can go penguin sledding on the adults.” Sokka chuckled as the soldier’s golden eyes turned wide with bewilderment and then sharpened with wonder as he started to consider the idea. “Of course there isn’t enough snow for that yet. Maybe later we could give it a try.”
He nodded again, a sharp jerky motion as he turned his attention back to the flock. A few of the adults had wandered closer, curious as to who these strangers were amongst their flock. Sokka observed the penguins with a passive expression, while Li seemed to go still and quiet. He watched them with an air of uncertainty, honeyed eyes flitting towards their long beaks before dropping to the four feathered flippers.
Sokka snickered and leaned closer, taking Li’s hand to place one of the dried fish he brought with him into his grasp. “Hold this out to them, like this.” He adjusted his hold on the fish so it was just the tail in between his fingers then guided the soldier’s arm up. Sokka took a couple wary steps back so his intimidating size didn’t frighten the penguins off.
Li looked a little nervous as he held the fish up and away from his face, inching a little closer to the tallest of the penguins that approached. They were about as tall as the soldier and much broader in size, but built sleek for shooting through the icy water with ease after fish. It's what made them perfect for sledding.
Two male penguins and one smaller female huddled over to his little fire ferret and inspected him closely. One of the males stole the fish from his fingertips and swallowed it down quickly despite the protests of the other two who snapped their beaks at it in frustration. Li slowly lowered his arm but kept it extended as if trying to pet one of the penguins. He moved slowly, telegraphing his movements with care as he studied their behavior for any warning signs or aggression.
Most of the penguins around the village were friendly enough, if a little temperamental but when plied with fish, they were quick to warm up to them. Humans wandering through their flock wasn’t unusual and most of the penguins just turned the other way or wandered closer to inspect the curious additions. Some didn’t mind being pet, and judging by the pleased trills of these otter penguins, they didn’t mind it either as Li stroked along their belly feathers and up underneath their beaks. At first he had one hand petting the tallest penguin before the female butt her head in, jealous of the lack of attention she was getting compared to her counterpart. The third penguin started to try to preen the soldier’s hood with its beak, pulling it down to expose his fire ferret’s hair.
Li made a startled noise and ducked his head when the penguin’s beak started to tangle into his dark hair, pulling it from its braid as it crooned affectionately. The soldier squawked his own alarm as he drew his mittened hands back to pat the penguin away and shoo it off so he could tug his hood back up. The penguins squawked and flapped their flippers at the stubborn display of the soldier and tugged it back down with a curt yank.
“No! Stop it. Cut it out.” Li spoke sharply, but the birds were undeterred as the other two started in on him as well. He hunkered down to protect himself from their doting attempts and swatted a flipper away. He managed to take a step away from the claustrophobic huddle when one of the male penguins jerked his hood back and pulled him clean off his feet. Li slid on the slippery stones as the penguin dragged him along the icy surface.
“Sokka!” He shouted, flailing wildly to get away from the birds. The others crooned and squawked to the rest of the flock, drowning out Li’s panicked shouts to get the animals to let him go. The curious flock quickly swarmed to inspect the new addition.
Sokka picked his way across the icy terrain and started shooing the penguins off, retrieving the spare fish from his pocket, waving it around in front of their beaks before throwing it where they would have to run to catch it. Most turned on the offered morsel but the two male penguins that had Li by the hood refused to let go of their prize.
“He’s not a lost chick for you to adopt. Go on!” Sokka shouted in his native tongue, throwing his arms in the air to frighten them off. “Shoo.” He got a frustrated snap of a beak in his direction. Sokka chided it with a flick. “Back off or I’ll turn you into lunch. This is my ferret, not your baby.”
The otter penguins chattered and squawked at him in refusal, forcing Sokka to have to physically pry the hood from their beaks and push the penguins away with one arm. “I said no. No! Bad penguin bad!”
“Please tell me they don’t eat people!” Li blurted in alarm once he was freed from their stubborn hold and scrambled back to his feet, hands held up in a sloppy ready stance as if he were waiting to perform unarmed combat against the flock.
“They don’t.” Sokka switched back to Fire Nation as he patted him on the back firmly and chuckled. “They seemed to think you were a lost chick.”
His head snapped up to stare the warrior down, glaring at him with disapproval as he reached up to fix his hood so that his ears were covered from the cold. “You’re joking.”
“No, not at all. They’ve been known to adopt children that wander too far from the village. They keep them warm and safe until the adults can find them.” He shrugged absently and smirked. “When a child goes missing, the penguin colony is usually one of the first places we look.”
“You’ve desensitized them to humans.” It sounded accusatory but Sokka didn’t mind as he steered them away from the grumpy squawking penguins as they ruffled their feathers and trudged behind the pair like they were prepared to steal the soldier away again. Sokka kept his arm firmly wrapped around his fire ferret just in case there was another attempted ferret-napping.
“Perhaps.” He admitted. “But, it means the children in our village are less likely to end up food for hungry predators. Otter penguins are very protective of their chicks.”
The soldier seemed to ponder this for a moment before going quiet and letting his head sag a little as he stared at his feet, being cautious of every step on the slick stones and terrain. By the time they returned to the village, Sokka spotted Lady Ezra and Kodiak walking along the path with young Lukka tucked between them. His little boots slid along the icy ground as they each held his hand and lifted him up, giving him a little swing. The small boy squealed and kicked his feet wildly in the air, all bundled up in warm clothes looking like a cozy seal pup.
“Good morning.” Sokka called, drawing their attention. Kodiak’s expression brightened as he hoisted his son up into his arms and wrapped him in a strong hug.
“Lukka, can you say hello to Sokka and Li?”
“Hello!” The little boy cheered, giving an awkward wave in their general direction. Lady Ezra looped an arm around Kodiak’s bicep so they were tucked close with Lukka leaned over the older man’s shoulder. She reached up to adjust his hood to ensure it was covering his ears properly as she greeted them with polite smiles.
“Good morning Sokka, Li. I’ve heard you two have been keeping busy lately. Hopefully staying out of trouble too.” The knowing motherly tone hit Sokka a little hard as he shrank back a touch but only tightened his grip on the soldier a fraction, keeping him tucked close as they came to a stop. He seemed to sag against the warrior’s side, feeling weary under all those layers. Sokka wondered if the cold was tiring him out far faster than he usually would. His trouble sleeping lately probably wasn’t helping much either.
“We’re doing good.” Sokka assured. “Was showing Li the otter penguins.”
“Oh?” Kodiak’s eyes landed on the soldier as he grinned. “What did you think of them, Li?”
The aforementioned man looked ruffled under the heavy winter layers. His golden eye turned towards Kodiak as he stayed quiet, offering a shrug in answer. Then, after a moment of thought, added. “They’re strange.” He grunted out noncommittally.
Sokka supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. Li tended to go quiet around some people of the tribe more than others. Newer people had a habit of making him bristle and go silent and still, like he was observing how the best way to interact with them would be. It was charmingly awkward in an understandable way. Kodiak didn’t seem at all bothered by this odd evasive display, though the warrior suspected Li may have acted in a similar fashion during his hearing with the elders.
“That they are.” Kodiak chuckled, giving Lukka a small shake to adjust his hold on the squirming boy impatiently wiggling in his father’s arms. He eventually relented and let his wife wrangle him into her own embrace, peppering Lukka with kisses to keep him occupied. The boy squealed and giggled as she tickled his cheeks and cooed at him in Fire Nation. Li shifted uncomfortably at Sokka’s side, letting his gaze drop to the trampled slush turning into a slurry of frozen mud under their boots from the early morning bustle of people preparing for tonight and going about the usual chores.
“Have you seen your father yet today, Sokka?” Kodiak asked, switching the subject and drawing the warrior’s attention away from Li’s shuffled motions.
“Not yet. Been a bit busy. Need something?” He asked.
“No, I just wondered if he was busy. I’ll swing by the longhouse and maybe Kanna can offer some help.” Kodiak assured. “I’ll let you two get going though. Probably best not to stay out in this cold for long. It was good seeing you again, Li.”
There was a stiff nod of agreement from the soldier as the trio continued on their quiet stroll about the village. Sokka took the opportunity to veer them away from the path and back towards the house, noting the uneasy silence that had come over the soldier as he moved more stiff than before.
“You alright?” He asked cautiously.
There was no answer, causing a worried glance to shoot from Sokka as he tried to catch Li’s expression. He looked troubled and pale, the only color splashed on his rosy cheeks came from the biting cold that stung his face. He didn’t shake out of it even as they entered the house, which was thankfully empty with Katara and Gran Gran gone to help Pana. Helping Li undress was a monotonous and tedious task as he moved on autopilot, lost in some thought that had ensnared his mind. When he had shed his winter layers, he just stood awkwardly, shivering and spaced out until Sokka led him to sit on the couch and moved into the kitchen to make a couple hot drinks for them both. Gran Gran had the forethought of leaving a pot on the hot coals to keep warm, allowing a quick ladle of the drink into each tankard before whisking it back to the sofa once his own thicker clothes had been shucked off and tossed haphazardly over the nearest chair to dry.
Li took his cup without blinking and let it warm his palms as he sat hunched over his knees and stared down at the floor.
“Li? Hey buddy, you alright?”
His gaze lifted slowly, confused and uncertain as he nodded. A shuddering sigh left his chest as he stared back into the cup and took a drink of the warm cider, letting it thaw him from the inside. Sokka took that as a good sign as he relaxed back and tugged the throw blanket off the back of the couch to drape around Li’s shoulders to help warm him. Li leaned closer until he was tucked against Sokka’s side with his head resting tiredly on his shoulder.
“I miss my mom.” He finally admitted, his voice raspy and impossibly quiet as it rolled off of him like a crushing weight that escaped his chest. “I haven’t seen her in a year.”
That was a pain that Sokka understood well. “I get that. It's tough, especially during a war. You just want that comfort only your mother can give.”
Li nodded stiffly and shivered again. He chased it away with another sip of the warm drink that pooled into his stomach. Sokka mirrored him, and offered a sympathetic half smile. His own ache came with the first snow. The memories of a busy household turned cold and unpleasant with his own mother's absence. It was really hard on Katara as she held her grief with rage coiled tightly around it, while dad's was a silent sorrow that left him hollow for so long. Sokka's was its own beast that he harbored silently until it ate him alive every night. It was a quiet killer that wittled him away.
Katara had a tendency to turn sharp and aggressive, lashing out or seeking comfort in Gran Gran. Dad had Bato to lean on, but Sokka felt like he didn't have any one he could turn to. So instead, he steeled himself and opted to be the strong one in the family. He let it fester until it became something numb and unrecognizable, then buried it in the snow where he wouldn't have to feel it anymore.
Rotating the tankard in his grasp, Sokka stared down at the coppery liquid and chewed his thoughts around until they found purchase on his tongue. "What's your mom like?" He lifted his gaze to watch the soldier, hoping he wasn't crossing any lines in asking such a personal question, but instead he found relief when Li's lips curled with a quiet happiness that played across his face.
"She's wonderful." He sighed, wistful and bittersweet. "She was always there for me since I was a baby. The doctors had given up and urged the rest of my family to just accept that I would not live long at all, but she never gave up. She sought out help from everywhere she could think of." There was a small amused smile that reached up to his eyes as Li let a breathy laugh slip from his lips. "She even sent my Uncle to seek the counsel of a Northern Water Tribe healer."
"Wow." Sokka couldn't help but be impressed by that. He knew a mother's love knew no bounds, but for a Fire Nation citizen to seek out the Water Tribes for help, that felt like some sort of taboo. Especially with what he knew about the North's practices towards Fire Nation soldiers. It's a miracle in and of itself that Li's uncle kept his life. The North took their isolationist tendencies very seriously. "You weren't kidding. You must have been really sick."
"I was. For a long time." Li sighed, fidgeting with the cup as his expression slackened to something tense and thoughtful. "But she was always there. She shared her love of theater with me and it helped me keep going. She never gave up and neither did I. I owed her that much."
Sokka chuckled and gave his shoulder a gentle nudge with his own. "She's your mom, Li." He said it as if it were obvious. Li gave him a puzzled look. "That's what mothers do. You don't owe her for doing what a mother does best. She loves and protects her children no matter the cost."
He appeared skeptical of this declaration and pondered it as his attention fell back to the cup in his hands. Sokka smiled warmly at him, amused by the way his brows furrowed in concentration like he was trying to puzzle out a foreign concept. It just continued to prove just how strangely different their two worlds were. He wasn't entirely sure how the Fire Nation worked, but he hoped at the very least, that the concept of mothers doing everything for their children regardless of the end result was a universal concept. Even animals understand a mother's love is not to be trifled with.
The day inched by. Li spent the afternoon working with Hama and Sokka got roped into helping with the snowfall feast. He spent the last two hours chopping vegetables for a stew pot and helping arrange tables with Alik and Tonuk. His dad and Bato were being shuffled about under Gran Gran's watchful eye as she sent them on errands and had them busier than a bee hive in spring.
The whole building smelled so good, especially once Pana, her daughters and Katara entered with tray after heaping tray of her honey cakes. They were a flat disc like pastry made with honey and cooked until a little crispy on the edges but fluffy in the center and were heavenly with a touch of marmalade or jam slathered on top. The sight was enough to have his stomach growling noisily.
"Good evening Pana!" Sokka cheered, taking one of the trays that her oldest daughter was balancing. She passed it over with a look of appreciative relief as the warrior trailed behind them. The arrangement of the tables ensured there was a little bit of something within easy reach on every table. From the honey cakes to soft bread to the jams and marmalades that go with the pastries, to the dishes of spiced moon peaches and seal jerky.
"Good evening Sokka." She chimed, her old eyes crinkled with mirth as her smile reached across her wrinkled face. She gratefully accepted the tray from him and arranged it on the appropriate table, making slight adjustments until it was satisfactory. "How have you been this fine day?"
"Good, good." He assured, offering his boyish smile to her that was a guaranteed echo of his many past attempts. She eyed him knowingly from the too big charming smile to the timid set of his shoulders and the overly sweet voice.
"Now Sokka," She started, chiding him gently. "you have to wait."
"Can I just have one for the road? I need to go pick up Li from Hama's so we can get ready." He beamed at her pleadingly. "I promise to share with him."
She eyed him, her own lips twitching into a wider smile that told the warrior that his charms were winning her over. "Oh, alright. Here." She gave him two whole pastries to take with him. "But no more than that. You be a good boy and wait."
"Yes ma'am." He grinned, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you." She reached up to pat his face affectionately and chuckled.
"Are you growing a beard this year?" She smoothed her fingers over his neatly trimmed short hairs he was trying to coax into something fuller. He beamed, tilting his head in the light so she could see it better.
"Thought I'd try something new."
"Very handsome, just like your father when he was your age." Sokka felt his cheeks burn with a sudden flush of embarrassment as he nodded. "Now don't let me keep you from Li."
"Of course. Thanks again Pana. We'll see you in a little bit." He waved her off before racing out of the longhouse before Gran Gran could find him some new work to occupy him with. Thankfully she and Katara were busy working on the stew pot.
The entrance to the building was a touch slippery with trodden slush and mud stirred up together. He picked his way around the mess and made for the healers hut. He quietly crunched on his honey cake as he entered the hut, peering around to find it was a bit busier than he expected.
"Oh quit your whining." Hama chided in her own uniquely Hama way that was both loving and disappointed at the same time. It was a trick that few had mastered but none held the same charged looks that the healer could sport. The target for this appeared to be Katla who was seated on a cot getting his knee wrapped by the careful hands of their local fire ferret.
Li's expression was one of quiet concentration as he treated the injury with seriousness and more care than he offered his own wounds. Inuk was snickering at his little brother's side, ruffling his hair affectionately as Katla pouted indignantly at the sibling ribbing.
"This is twice now he's saved your skin." Inuk smirked.
Katla rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah. My hero." Then, catching Inuk's attention as he tossed his head back with a needling smirk only a brother could have, he added. "At least my hero actually comes to my rescue. He's not some fantasy character from a made up spirit tale."
Inuk sputtered. "Hey! He's real!" The older boy blurted, as Sokka stepped closer, half his honey cake held between his teeth as he raised a questioning brow at their bickering.
Hama huffed tiredly. "Not this again."
Li looked unbothered by their squabbling as he finished fastening the bandages on Katla's leg and dragged his pant leg down to show he was done. "Stay off it for a few days and keep it elevated to reduce swelling. Apply arnica oil to the knee before wrapping to help the muscle heal." He handed a small bottle of the salve over to Katla. "If you need more, come back to me and I'll make it."
"Thanks Li!" Katla cheered. Then held an arm out for his brother to help him back to his feet. Inuk rolled his eyes and dragged his brother's arm over his shoulder to take the weight off his wounded leg as they shuffled past.
Li brightened when he spotted Sokka standing near the door, and hastily put his supplies away in his workspace. Hama waved him off before he could even ask to go with the warrior, as the soldier took a more energetic step to close the space between them.
"Here." Sokka handed the honey cake towards Li, earning a look of immense appreciation. The warrior chuckled when he could hear his ferret's stomach grumbling at the prospect of food. "Pana made a bunch of her honey cakes for tonight."
"So you swiped a couple?" Li asked, though teasing as he took a bite and groaned pleasantly. "These are so good."
"She gave them to me." Sokka corrected, lifting his head with a sniff. "Because I'm that much of a charmer."
"You looked as pathetic as a polar pup, didn't you?" Li snickered. Sokka was more amused and impressed that he was picking up on Water Tribe phrases and using them against him. A wiggle of pride filled his chest with a fluttery delight as he grinned.
"I did not. It was all this manly charm." He puffed his chest out as they slipped outside to face the biting wind. Li pulled the hood of his cloak up as he stepped out and shivered. It wasn't as warm as the other clothes but worked in a pinch when traveling short distances from the healer's hut to Gran Gran's house.
The soldier huffed out a laugh as he chewed on his honey cake, taking greedy bites as if the wind would steal it away. He uttered between bites, voice laced with sarcasm. "Sure. I believe you."
Sokka squawked indignantly, placing a hand dramatically over his chest as he moaned. "What is this treachery? How can my own fire ferret not believe me?"
Li made a funny face at the fond nickname and scowled at him over his cake. "Why ferret?"
"Because you remind me of one."
"Have you ever actually seen a fire ferret before?" He asked skeptically.
"Yes." Sokka assured with a smirk. Li was bewildered by that declaration.
"Where?"
"There was a traveling circus in the Earth Kingdom that set up near a neutral port town we were docked in for a few days." Sokka chuckled. "The owners were Fire Nation but they welcomed anyone that was a paying audience. They had fire ferrets and a lion vulture that performed tricks. There was a tigerdillo and an armadillo bear, and all kinds of performers and gymnastics that did tricks with fire."
"Oh." Li hummed, his thoughts drifting briefly at this information. "I wonder if Ty-Lee was there."
"Ty-Lee?" Sokka asked.
"My little sister's friend. She is an acrobatic performer for a Fire Nation traveling circus. They travel around the Earth Kingdom but I wasn't sure if they would still be going with the war right now." He finished the last bites of his cake and dusted his hands off before stuffing them under his arms to warm his fingers. His cloak draped around him comfortably, shielding him from the brisk wind that nipped at his face and made the edges dance around his ankles in the flurries of snow.
"Hm.." Sokka thought back, trying to recall if he saw anyone that might fit. "There were two different acrobats I think. A guy and a girl but I don't remember if they said their names or not."
"I see."
Zuko's face itched and ached with the cold wind whipping at his skin. When they stopped at Kanna's house for a few minutes while Sokka got changed into cleaner, more comfortable clothes, Zuko settled down on his bed with a hand mirror he borrowed from Katara, and started to gently apply the numbing salve Hama had given him for his scar. His fingers probed gently around the hardened leathery tissue as he smeared the salve across his skin and massaged it in. It was a quick fix for now and only held out for a few hours at a time before the feeling and the pain would come back to bother him. Hopefully that was long enough to get through the meal and some of the festivities.
When they headed back to the longhouse, Zuko kept his scout uniform on and draped his cloak around his shoulders to ward off the chill. It did little to fend off the wind that had him shivering until his teeth chattered, but the longhouse was far warmer once inside. The smell of food hit him like a wall as his stomach flipped and aggressively growled its delight at all the delicious scents. The moving huddled bodies of so many people helped warm the place up as they gathered tankards of cider and chatted enthusiastically as if they didn't regularly see each other every day.
It was a sense of community that Zuko never really tired of seeing, even if the claustrophobic crowds made him anxious. It was familiar and reminded him of the soldiers under his command as they gathered in the meal tents or crowded around campfires, talking energetically and telling stories or sharing meals with one another. Or like the mess hall on his ship as every man sat elbow to elbow at the tables, grinning and ribbing each other over tedious and stupid things. Zuko was perfectly content to sit back and watch it all unfold in front of him, drinking in the ease of it all.
Sokka steered them to a table where Zuko was tucked on the end of the bench seat and nestled beside the warrior. He appreciated the effort and wondered if the seating choice was consciously made by Sokka each time to adjust to Zuko's lack of fondness for forced physical contact from strangers. The question was a fleeting one that was disbanded quickly when everyone found their seats and a prayer was made to the spirits. It was followed up by raucous cheers and raised tankards for something Zuko didn't quite understand as the men hoisted their drinks high and roared. Sokka was one among them, nearly rising out of his seat with many of the other occupants around the hall.
The prince couldn’t catch what was being said in Water Tribe, but every few words, another roar of cheers would rise and swell across the room, vibrating the air. He was caught between the urge to shrink away and being drawn in by his own curiosity. As the prayer? -chant? -speech? He wasn’t really sure what to make of it, but as it came to an end, the room settled into a calmer din of chatter and idle conversations with only the occasional squeal of children or the bark of laughter at another table to disrupt the more casual flow. Their bowls were filled with hot stew and tankards sloshed at the brim with the sweet cider. He mopped the broth up with a hunk of bread and shared a honey cake with Sokka that they had split in half.
With bellies swelling with good warm food and cider burning heat in their veins, the room started to quiet as Alik and Kela started to sing in their native tongue. A song that told the tale of warriors of old as they rose from their seats. Boots stomped the floor in a steady rhythm as they stalked between tables, taking turns with each stanza as they depicted a valiant battle between two lifelong rivals. They mimicked swordplay, coming to blows the way the song foretold followed by the dramatic flair of wounded limbs as Kela gracefully fell to knee and peered up at his foe. The stomping quieted as Alik’s voice rose like a roar of thunder, building the suspense until Zuko was balancing on the edge of his seat, bowl and spoon forgotten as he leaned in, jaw agape.
The warrior spared his foe in the pivotal moment and cast aside his sword, extending his arm in a Water Tribe greeting, bonding two warring tribes in a promise of brotherhood for generations to come. There was a celebration of cheers and applause, as tankards were hoisted once more.
The next voice in the room was one of the elders he recognized from the hearing. Sokka told him his name was Ikiaq. He had a deep voice that rumbled like a bear’s low growl but it was pleasant and added an extra layer to the story he told about a Wolf spirit who was madly in love with the Moon spirit, but was tricked by the Ocean spirit into casting itself into the sea to save the drowning Moon on La’s surface. The sea seized the wolf spirit and sent it down below the swells so that it could keep the moon and all her love to itself.
It was a story of greed and jealousy, and a love that was tragically never meant to be. It was sad but beautiful in the way that Ikiaq depicted the desperate yearning of the wolf’s love and the frightened desperation that led the ocean into making such a bold choice to keep the love it feared it may lose. Katara had a tale to share afterwards, about a little girl that vanished in a snowstorm. It sent a shiver through Zuko as she lowered her voice to mimic the adolescent tone of a small girl begging to warm up and asking for help. The children in the room huddled behind their mothers or burrowed into their fathers protective arms as she stalked about the room telling the tale. It ended on an unnerving note that had the whole room jerking in alarm when the wind howled against the doors with terrifying timing and rattled it noisily. The prince nearly leapt out of his skin, and so did Sokka and half the room as hands dropped to belts looking for weapons and children and women squealed and shouted.
Katara and Hama cackled in pure delight, while the rest of them were coming down from the cusp of heart attacks. Everyone took a few minutes to get seconds and calm down before Pana told a story about a tricky sea raven and his cunning that saved a lost crew on the raging ocean waves. Zuko was enjoying his second bowl of stew and nibbling at bites of bread. Sokka had already inhaled his third helping and was slowing down as he picked at another honey cake covered in a dark berry jam. When they finished, he and the prince shared a helping of the spiced moon peaches, warring forks against one another between bites with soft snickers.
Feeling too full to move, he relaxed against Sokka’s side and let his cheek rest on the warrior’s shoulder as more tales were spun. Ikiaq had two more he shared, followed by Kodiak’s story of a wise old polar bear that carried a wounded hunter on his back that had strayed too far from his village in the cold. He nursed him back to health in the warmth of his den and saw him safely back home with the promise that no man will hunt another polar bear again.
Sokka leaned down to explain to Zuko, speaking low in his ear. “The bear was considered a sacred animal in some of the tribes. It’s taboo to kill one. It’s extremely rare that our village will ever kill one, but when we do, we perform a special ritual for the bear’s spirit to ask for its forgiveness and see that it is safely ushered to the spirit world with the same care it showed the hunter.”
Zuko nodded his understanding and turned his attention towards the next speaker. His eyes were growing heavy in the fire light as it warped into long stretches of coiling shadows and golden swathes that rose and fell like gentle tides. His vision blurred and stung from weariness, as he closed his eyes and listened to the Water Tribe words and drank in every tale that followed. There were stories about eagle hawks and warring factions, tales of giant fish swallowing people whole and a magical snow hare that imbued a man with prophetic visions.
Bato had just finished telling a story about a polar bear dog that disguised itself as a buffalo yak to get close to an unwary herd to hunt, when Sokka glanced down to check on his little fire ferret. He had sagged against him a few stories ago, shifting to get comfortable as he used the warrior’s shoulder as a pillow and sighed contentedly. He had snaked an arm around his shoulders to keep Li from slipping off the bench, but glancing down now, the man was completely out. His expression had softened in the throes of sleep as he slept against Sokka. His cloak tucked around himself for additional warmth. Gran Gran and his dad had been shooting him amused looks when he finally noticed, and chuckled.
He gave the soldier’s shoulder a little shake and lowered his voice. “Li, hey buddy. Li, wake up.”
His head dropped a fraction down Sokka’s shoulder but showed no sign of rousing again. It was useless. He was completely conked out. Sighing, his smile spread in amusement as he observed the quiet peace that came over the soldier. He waited until the next break between stories and beckoned Katara over. Her eyes flitted from Sokka to the slouching figure at his side with a raised brow.
“He’s sound asleep.” Sokka supplied. Her eyes widened in understanding before she smirked. “I’m going to take him home, alright.”
“I’ll let dad and Gran Gran know.” She hummed and peered down at Li one more time, adding. “He looked like he enjoyed himself.”
Sokka nodded as he pulled Li’s hood over his head and adjusted his cloak, keeping one hand on the soldier’s back so he didn’t fall. Katara offered a helping hand to steady him on the bench so Sokka could climb free before scooping him easily up in his arms. There was still no sign of him waking up and that amused them both.
“Yeah. He really likes listening to stories.” Sokka chuckled. “His first ever snow day and it tired him right out.” Nobody else seemed to mind them as Katara walked Sokka to the door and held it for him as they slipped out into the cold night. The wind had died down to a gentle breeze as he walked the shaded paths winding through the village leading to the house. The silvery light of the moon bathed the snow, giving it a ghostly glow as he briskly made his way back to the warmth of their home.
Li still showed no sign of rousing, even once Sokka had to balance him carefully in his arms to get the front door open then shuffle in quickly. He kicked his boots off with some skill and carried him right to his own bedroom. He got Li’s cloak and boots off before tucking him into bed with the layers of furs and woven blankets piled on top. With a shiver, he returned to the kitchen, righted his boots in their little corner before heading to the hearth to pile a few more logs on the hot coals. It took a few minutes for the wood to catch and crackle to life.
The heat that drifted off of the fire filled him with his own sleepy contentment that motivated him to head to his own bed for the night. It was still pretty early considering how late most of their celebrations go, but Sokka didn’t mind embracing his inner old man tonight. It had indeed been a long and tiresome day, and both he and Li hadn’t had the best luck with getting restful sleep these last few weeks so he wasn’t about to look a gift yak in the mouth. He swallowed a yawn and shuffled off to bed once the fire was going strong enough to be ignored until Katara or Gran Gran returned home.
Notes:
In Kanna's immortal words "Li looks like he could get bullied by an otter penguin."
She was not wrong at all.
Sorry for the wait. These next few chapters will probably take a while to write out. We're getting into some of the thicker plot points soon and I need to make sure I don't miss anything I wanted to toss into this. Thank you all for your patience!
Chapter 27
Summary:
Zuko's having a rough day.
Accompanied by a Dadkoda heart to heart.
And Sokka has feelings.
Notes:
Yall enjoyed High Zuko so much, well here you go. More High Zuko shenanigans (and some angst)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Zuko woke up the next day with nothing but pain lancing through his skull as he buried his face into his pillow and groaned miserably. His vision blurred as he struggled to open his eyes and make out which bottle was which, and how much to take. He fumbled around, recognizing the shapes as he rummaged through his supply, barely standing on his feet as he swayed and cursed when one of the bottles fell. He jerked, half expecting it to shatter when it hit the ground but it landed with a thunk and rolled out through the gap in the curtain. Kneeling on the floor, he pawed around looking for it when the curtain parted and the hunched elderly form of Kanna entered holding the bottle up in question. He craned his head up towards her, feeling pathetic as he struggled just to keep his good eye open.
“How much do you need?” She asked, holding the bottle where he could read it. He was a little dumbfounded by that as he gaped up at her before his mind finally caught up and recalled the measurements. She helped him back up onto his bed where he could sit and downed the unpleasant mixture with a bit of water. She left the room after putting the bottles back in order on the shelf. Zuko crawled back into bed and pulled the furs over himself with a shiver, praying to Agni that the medicine kicks in faster. A few minutes later, Kanna came back with a damp rag and offered it to the prince.
“Here.” She had to place it directly in Zuko’s hand when he reached out and missed it the first time. The wave of relief that washed over him as the warm fabric laid across his eyes was enough to make him groan as he turned his body to face the wall and avoid any and all light. The soft shuffling steps of the older woman retreated from the room as the curtain was drawn back in place, concealing the room in darkness once more.
Sleep came in fits and starts as he drifted off, tossing and turning when the rag had cooled, before Kanna returned to refresh it and brought him a waterskin and a honeyed cake from last night so he had something in his stomach after his last dose of medicine. Apparently the cold weather was much worse today as the winds howled relentlessly and rattled the door, forcing them to fight for it every time someone came in and out. Much more snow fell in the night and the bitter cold felt like it was clawing across his skull and digging into his eye socket like a series of hooks.
His head was pounding like a drum and pulsated with pain right behind his left eye and spread through his head where it wrapped around the left half of his skull, pulling the skin tight around his ear and hairline. A part of him wanted to cry in frustration because the medicine wasn't setting in right away. It was barely even taking the edge off as he whimpered into the pillow and groaned, shifting restlessly under the furs. The warm rags were helping some with the tightness but the rest was still just as sharp and miserable as the storm raged outside.
'Agni please.' He silently begged the spirits that he wasn't already building a tolerance against it. He wound the furs up in his fists and felt the pinprick of pain in his left eye as a single solitary tear track fell from the sensitivity. He couldn't even force it open if he wanted to, even in the darkness of the room with only the smallest sliver of light creeping in under the curtain. It didn't reach far and was no worry for Zuko as he kept his eyes towards the wall that the bed was tucked against.
He heard the familiar steps of the warrior approach, and the rustle of the curtains as he stepped warily inside. "Li?" Sokka's voice was so painfully gentle.
All Zuko could utter in response was a shaky breath as he shifted under the furs to show he was still awake, regrettably. His stomach tightened, feeling ill with the pain that the storm brought. Its bitter cold sting was unpleasant as were the roaring winds that howled outside, demanding to be let in.
Sokka knelt beside the bed and reached a hand out to rest on the prince's shoulder. His fingers trailed slowly down his back in soothing motions that Zuko wanted to curl into and seek out but the thought of moving at all was not a pleasant one.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Sokka asked so carefully as if Zuko were made of fragile glass already on the verge of breaking under the pressure in his head. He curled into a tighter ball and grunted a dismissal. He really didn't want to move. He just hoped he could ignore the pain and will the rest of the world away until he was left in a pocket of nonexistence. The wet rag no longer offered relief as it had cooled and started to dry so he let it bunch up, only moving his hand to collect it and dump it away from his face earlier.
"Alright. If you need anything, just let me know." Sokka started to shift away from the bed. Zuko wanted to reach out and beg him to stay but he hadn't the extra energy to spare for the action and he really didn't want to move his head when he finally managed to take the sharpest edges of his agony and dull them somehow. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing, mentally counting turtleducks until sleep could take him.
Sokka had braved the freezing cold of the outdoors to make a visit to Hama. Thankfully she was in her healing hut when he shuffled inside and peered around, finding her beside the crackling fire attempting to stay warm. He could sympathize with the effort as he shook snow off of his parka and stomped his boots on the mat in a cold shuffle.
"Odd seeing you at such an early hour, Sokka." She hummed, turning to greet him with a thoughtful expression. She studied the worried look in his eyes and nodded to herself in some form of silent agreement. "How bad is he doing?"
"He can barely move and doesn't speak. He looks like he's in a lot of pain." Sokka explained. "Gran Gran said he took this, this morning. She had to help him. Said he was fumbling around and looked really confused."
He handed the slip of paper that his grandmother wrote up for the healer. It was an explanation of what she's been doing for the soldier since before Sokka woke up. Apparently Li had risen before everyone else and only stirred Gran Gran awake when he fell in his room.
Hama took the slip of paper and examined it, giving it a quick read and nodded to herself. "I see."
She turned away from Sokka and shuffled towards her workspace. The deep green shawl she had draped around her shoulders swayed at the motion as she worked, rummaging through her bottles and brews until she found what she was looking for.
"Just one spoonful of this in a cup of warm water a day. It is very strong so don't give him any more than that." She explained, while writing down a note to send back with the small brown bottle.
"What does it do?" He asked, worried now.
"It'll relieve his pain and help him sleep. Make sure he eats something beforehand. Otherwise it can upset the stomach." Sokka accepted the bottle and tucked both it and the note into his pocket. "A bit of bread will do, or some broth. Whatever he can swallow down."
"Thank you, Hama." Sokka clasped her hand in his as his large palms swallowed her frail fingers up in their hold. "I appreciate it."
She waved dismissively. "Just get my assistant back into fighting shape again. I miss the company." Her lips curled into a reassuring smile as she shooed him out the door. Sokka braved the cold once more as he headed back to Gran Gran's house, finding Li was still in the same pitiful state he had been in before. He passed the note over to his grandmother and showed her the bottle Hama had sent for the soldier. She was quick to start on mixing the medicine, setting a kettle of water to heat on the coals while she prepared an easy snack for Li to stomach. Just a bit of bread with a smear of jam that Sokka recalled his ferret had enjoyed most. He carried the plate in to find Li was still huddled under the furs in a trembling ball with a fresh warm rag over his eyes once more.
Dropping to kneel, Sokka placed a steadying hand on Li's shoulder as he spoke. "Hey buddy, I have some medicine from Hama that'll make you feel better but you need to eat something first."
There was a quiet strangled noise like a whine in the soldier's throat that Sokka couldn't make sense of. He estimated that the man wouldn't want to move at all but he needed to eat or he'll be worse off and Sokka couldn't let that happen.
"Here, just a few bites of bread, okay? It even has that jam you like so much on it." He gave Li's shoulder a gentle squeeze but he made no move to get up. Sokka waited patiently but Li just seemed to huddle in on himself more.
"Li, please." Sokka begged. "Just a few bites."
He waited, before continuing. "The medicine Hama sent will help you sleep better but it's rough on your stomach so you need to eat something first." More silence. Sokka was beginning to lose hope that the soldier would unfurl and let him help. He wanted to help, he wanted to make him feel better and take his pain away, but right now he only felt like he was failing at such a simple task. It felt too much like watching his mother waste away in the coldest months of winter again and being helpless to lessen her pain.
After another minute, Li started to move with his head hanging pitifully like it was too heavy for him to keep it up on his own. Tear tracks raced down the left side of his face, making the warped scar tissue look glossy in the dim light that crept in from the askew curtain. Sokka greeted him with a relieved smile as he offered him the plate.
"The sooner you eat, the sooner you can take this new medicine and sleep it off." The soldier's hands had a small tremor that rattled the plate as he set it to rest in his lap. He ate slowly, like the act took immense effort just to chew and force himself to swallow each bite. Sokka realized it probably did with how much of his face the scar tissue had taken up.
By the time Li had eaten a little more than half the small slice of bread, Gran Gran had shuffled to the curtain with the cup of medicine. Li's left eye was squeezed shut but his right eye tracked the cup as it was passed off to Sokka with a hopeful look. Sokka noticed it and gestured back at the plate. "Finish that and then you can have this."
Two more bites and the plate was empty. Li didn't even wait to swallow the bread as he reached for the cup. Sokka had to place it in his hands and keep his fingers guiding it to assure Li didn't spill it over himself as he drank greedily until it was gone. The shudder of disgust was secondary when the flavor hit him, but Sokka was relieved to see the soldier was responsive enough to go through the motions.
Gran Gran took the dishes as Li settled back into the bed to get comfortable. Sokka smoothed a comforting hand along his back and shoulders before rising to get up.
"No." Li's voice was so painfully brittle that Sokka almost mistook it for a cough were it not for the fingers snagging the edge of his tunic. He looked back to find the soldier shifting closer to the wall as he placed the warm rag over his bad eye and made space for Sokka to join him.
He couldn't say no, so he settled down into the bed and wrapped an arm around Li's shoulders, tucking him against his side. The curtain was drawn shut, drowning the room in darkness once more as he stretched out and ran his hand along his ferret's back, tracing his fingers up and down his ribcage and spine. Li snuggled up against him with the rag over his eyes and shivered. His breathing was a little faster than normal, short and quick as he tried to work through his pain. Eventually it evened out as the medicine set in and Sokka tucked the blankets securely around the soldier to keep him warm.
"Don't worry, I'm staying right here." Sokka hummed softly, pressing his lips against the crown of Li's hair as he continued to hold the smaller man while he began to doze off against his chest.
This snow storm came out of nowhere as far as Hakoda was concerned. The light flakes that fell yesterday were fat, thick and wet today as the wind blew hard enough to make his boots slide on the ice as he braced against it. The chief was beginning to worry that they celebrated a little too hard last night and gave the spirits the wrong impression. He had to fight even harder with the door to his family's home before he managed to get it free long enough to squeeze himself inside. Shaking the snow off his parka, he stomped his boots and pulled the hood down from his face to find his mother and daughter sitting quietly at the table looking worried.
His mother turned to face him with a tired half smile before rising stiffly from the chair. Her old joints were protesting the weather just as fiercely as she shuffled towards him. "What are you doing out in this terrible weather, Koda?"
"Checking in on you." He answered gently. "And delivering a letter for Li. It came in yesterday morning on a gull but I forgot to give it to him last night."
Her smile was bittersweet as she patted his shoulders to dust the snow away before he peeled out of his parka. His eyes searched the room but didn't see either the soldier or his son, broaching the question. "Where are they?"
"In Li's room." Kanna answered, her voice raspy from age and exhaustion. Neither she or Katara look like they had much sleep last night after the celebration, and it made him worry if something happened with their guest. As if sensing the words he was about to ask, Kanna assured him with a shake of her head. "The weather isn't kind to him. Sokka has already gone to Hama for help this morning."
Cursing under his breath, he quickly shot an apologetic look towards his mother. "I'm sorry. I forgot that his scar is cold sensitive." Which only pained him more at the prospect that Li had an entire winter of this awaiting him. It felt cruel to keep him for months on end in a place that only inflicts misery upon him. None of them had thought about the repercussions of how their cold weather could affect certain people. The long dark months, the bitter cold, the struggle for survival that is a constant for their daily lives.
"Mind if I?" He asked, once he hung his cold layers up to dry and gestured at the curtain. His mother nodded.
"I'll make you a drink to warm up."
"Thanks mom." She turned away to shuffle into the kitchen as Hakoda stepped quietly towards the door, pulling back the curtain to peer inside. He wasn't at all surprised to see Sokka and Li curled up together on the cramped bed, with the soldier tucked against his chest sleeping far more soundly than he probably was before. Sokka's head moved as his son craned his gaze up to meet his.
"Hey dad." His voice was barely above a whisper as Hakoda stepped into the room a little further, blocking most of the light with his body that pooled in from the main room.
"How's he doing?"
"He finally fell asleep a little bit ago." Sokka sighed, rubbing a hand absently across Li's shoulders. He had a folded rag over his eyes shielding them from the light as he slept. The subtle rise and fall of his ribs were the only way he could tell the man was actually asleep.
"How are you doing?" He dared to ask.
Sokka lowered his eyes to peer down at the soldier and sighed tiredly. "It's my fault. If I had known, I wouldn't have forced him to come here."
Hakoda winced at that, and supplied. "He would have ended up with the rest of his men in La's embrace."
"Or I could have let him go in one of the ports." Sokka countered. "That first time, he begged me to let him go. I made a deal with him instead. Then later, after you interrogated him…" Sokka shook his head, grimacing to himself. "I was so angry at you and so tired of seeing Li hurt, I was ready to just walk away."
He winced at that admission, but it was a familiar pang of guilt that he had tangled with time and time again when it came to Sokka. It was the curse that came with being so much alike. Hakoda has already learned these lessons, but Sokka was just beginning to face all of these hard truths and no matter how hard he tried to protect or prepare his son for them, it would only shove the man away. He was just as stubborn and curious and bullheaded as Hakoda was when he was that age. It wasn't a bad thing, but some painful truths Hakoda wished he could wear that burden for his son just once.
"May I ask why you didn't?"
In the low light of the room, it was hard to make out the shadows on his son's face as they distorted his features to something ghostly and unpleasant. Only the faint splash of orange along the adjacent wall offered some shred of perception that danced across the soldier but left Sokka buried in the darker parts of their corner.
Sokka was quiet for a long time as he considered his answer. His shoulders deflated when it finally came. "He thought I was angry at him for keeping secrets. He thought-" Sokka shook his head. "I don't know. That I was going to abandon him for it maybe."
"You didn't want him to get the wrong idea." Hakoda offered. His son nodded slowly, then huffed bitterly.
"It was stupid and selfish."
"It was human." Hakoda amended gently. "Sokka, you see the way Li is with you. He's happy. He trusts you." He gestured at the way the soldier was curled up on his son, with his blindspot directed at Sokka. Hakoda remembered the days when Li was too anxious just to be in the same room as the chief, how he never took his good eye off of him. How jittery and stiff he was, more nervous and wary than any green horn he's ever met. How afraid he was of everyone, of just talking to anyone at all. But Hakoda never saw that fear when Li was around Sokka. He let his son close, he chased after physical contact, he turned his blind spot towards the man without an ounce of apprehension, and from the sounds of it, he could be quite the chatter bug once Sokka gets him going.
As much as they wanted to enforce the rules and clamp down on them even harder for these two than ever before, there was no denying that Li liked if not also loved Sokka. It showed in the way his eyes lit up when his son entered a room or called his name, the way he perked up and how his whole demeanor would change for the better. Their easy chemistry and that spark that clicked as his son had described it. It pained Hakoda to know he couldn't encourage Sokka to chase that spark, because Li clearly made him happy in return, but that didn't mean he couldn't reassure his son that what he did was the right thing.
"There are going to be some rough patches, it's inevitable. It's part of nature, but you're not giving up on Li when he needs you the most right now and that matters."
Sokka let his eyes drop to inspect the soldier silently and nodded. "I know." He sighed heavily and scrubbed at his eyes with his free hand, looking just as tired as everyone else. "It's so hard not to doubt that what I'm doing is right by him."
"That's for him to decide." Hakoda reminded his son gently. "From the looks of it, you're doing a pretty good job so far." Then, daring to joke, he added. "I heard from Katara that you make a pretty good pillow."
He didn't miss the way Sokka's head fell back in a silent groan, resting with a light thunk against the wall. "She told you about that?"
"She was quite amused by it all." He chuckled. "Told Pana and your grandmother."
"Which means the whole village knows now." He bemoaned, weary with regret. "Great."
Hakoda chuckled, a soft breathy noise in his throat as he regarded his son. "That's not a bad thing, you know."
Sokka shrugged at that and resumed the easy back and forth petting motion of his hand across the soldier's back. "I know." He let out a calming exhale, his head tilted with a glimpse of a thoughtful look in his eyes. "I want him to be happy. I want-" he swallowed around those words, like he was afraid to let them out.
"I want you both to be happy." Hakoda offered. Sokka's head snapped up, blue eyes wide as he stared at his dad. The chief felt a touch of pride that he still knew his son well enough to understand those tangled up feelings he was struggling with. Sokka had so much love to give but let so little of it out until now. He wanted to share it all with Li, and Hakoda wished he could sit here and watch them both settle so easily into that role, to be so openly affectionate without being scolded for it. He understood how unfair that was for Sokka, when he and Bato were betrothed, and Katara had Aang, but he and Li were trapped in this middle ground of having to stay so far apart when all they wanted was to be like this. Wound up in each other's arms every single chance they got.
He gave his son's shoulder a firm pat as he stepped into the room and dug out the letter. "I almost forgot." The parchment was rolled up neatly and tied with a red ribbon that had the sender attached. He set it on Li's desk.
"Tekk sent us a letter yesterday and it came accompanied by one from Shin for Li." As he turned towards his son, he didn't miss the twist of displeasure across Sokka's face at Shin's name. He raised a brow in question but Sokka just dropped his gaze with a grimace as he turned his attention back on the soldier. His brows furrowed in concentration as he ignored the camelephant in the room that was eating the chief alive now. He knew that Li and Shin had met at some point, but wasn't entirely certain whether Sokka had formally met Tekk's soon to be son-in-law. As much as he wanted to broach the subject, Hakoda was intimately aware of the fact that Katara wasn't the only one that had an attitude that could cow a snow leopard caribou into submission, and he was not prepared to handle Sokka when he gets snappy and unapproachable like that. He's managed to avoid it since it last reared its head on the ship, and he would very much wish to go the rest of the winter without running into it again.
From the sounds of it, Bato wasn't as fortunate as he was. Which, Hakoda was simultaneously apologetic for his lover, while also concerned as to why Sokka had snapped at him to begin with. He felt guilty afterwards, rolling his son's bitter words around in his head for days until he relented. Allowing the two men their chance for privacy so they could go hunting was a gamble he was willing to take, not that he didn't trust Sokka to keep to his word, but he couldn't help but worry what others may think about the decision to send them off into the wilderness without another to keep an eye on them. Sokka was a grown man and as much as he wished he could keep protecting his son from the brutal honesty of a cold world, he needed to give him space and let him figure things out on his own. He needed to trust him to do the right thing, and when mistakes are made, he'll be waiting to help when Sokka needs him to.
Though, with that gamble, Hakoda wasn't expecting the pair to come back with so much success and quite the wild story to boot. Sokka's estimation that Li was a feral fire ferret was starting to hold quite a bit of merit after hearing the young warrior regale them about how Li had stood his ground against the leopard and refused to budge when it tried to threaten him into fleeing. Despite Tonuk's and Alik's light hearted jokes back on the ship about the soldier being as good as any hunting dog, he couldn't help but feel a fondness in how quickly he was acclimating to the tribe, even if the weather was less than kind to him for it.
Tekk had been ecstatic to hear about the hunt and Sokka's story, and from what Hakoda had gathered, he had even told Shin of the outcome. Which may have prompted the fur trapper to send his own inquiring letter to the soldier, as some common ground beyond their nationality that the two could bond over. A taste of familiarity that Li may otherwise lack all the way out here.
"I'll leave you two to rest." Hakoda sighed, giving his son's shoulder a fond final pat. Sokka nodded, a quiet bob of his head as he answered just as softly.
"See you later, dad." He parted the curtains and found Kanna already seated and waiting for him at the table. Katara had left at some point while he was talking with Sokka, leaving a space open for him to sit directly across from his mother. He greeted her with a weary smile and gratefully accepted the warm drink for his cold bones.
Zuko was sluggish to wake as he stared at the dark wall and heard his stomach chatter to itself pathetically. Or was it more of a growl? It sounded like something he could pet but when he tried to pet it, it only made more noises that didn't sound happy at all. It made him feel a little queasy if he thought too hard about it.
He let his hand fall back down to rest on something firm and warm, but soft and squishy. Tilting his head a little so his good eye and good ear were directed more towards it, he caught the soft sound of snoring that came quietly at his side. As he concentrated against the dark, he noticed the familiar outline of the warrior and realized he was curled up against his side under the warm layers of blankets. Sokka's arm was still wrapped around his shoulders where it often always was, like a safety rail Zuko could lean against and feel assured the larger man wouldn't let him fall. It felt nice, roped with muscle but still soft under his touch like the rest of Sokka's body. It was warm and pleasant and folded Zuko easily against it like he was made to fit right here in this little nook so far from everything else in the world that made him uneasy and nervous. It was his shield against the bad that made his bones go cold and his stomach tighten into a prickly pit that devoured his swooping heart.
Resting his cheek against Sokka's pleasantly pillowy pec, the prince traced his fingers over the small swell of the warrior's belly that rose with every breath. It was padded like Uncle's but firm if he pressed hard enough that told of hard earned muscle in a lifestyle built on survival. It reminded Zuko of the way Sokka fought, a coiled predator ready to spring forward like a charging armadillo bear. He was all power and fury, with a strength that Zuko could only dream of. The prince remembered the night back in the Earth Kingdom encampment and how easily Sokka had wrenched the angry wolfbat away from the tree with just one hand. How his shoulders flexed with the effort and the sound of its claws ripping at the bark beneath his perch, desperate to reach Zuko with its bloody maw snapping with fury.
It looked so effortless.
Even more so when he observed the way Sokka carried the polar leopard back to the dead yak, or how easily he lifted Zuko up time and time again. The flex of muscle, the sharpness of his limbs padded but powerful as they wrapped around the prince like a protective promise.
It made his head dizzy just thinking about it. Or maybe that was the medicine still fucking with his head. He sighed and tilted his head as he listened to Sokka's soft sounds and realized the ringing noise had finally stopped that was echoing in his bad ear. He lifted his head and opened his mouth, feeling the tight tension that lingered in the left side of his face as he opened and closed his mouth, letting the joint click and pop softly as the hinge went. It didn't hurt but he could feel the delayed response in the movement and the extra effort he had to put into making it go the way he wanted to, from the joint itself to the taut pull of his skin drawing a line of muscle jumping from his damaged ear down his jaw and into his neck. He cringed at the twinge of pain and clicked his jaw shut with mild annoyance, letting his head settle against Sokka's warm chest and decided to count his snores. Eventually it went from the snores to imagining turtleducks that snored like Sokka and that mental picture had the prince succumbing to a fit of giggles that may have knocked him off the edge of the bed if he didn't have a platypus bear sized pillow holding him up. He buried his face into Sokka's side to try and stifle his noises but the thought had him cracking up too much to maintain his composure for even a second.
Sokka had to still be dreaming. Clearly, that was the case, cause as he pried his eyes open at the sound of soft gasps and hiccups of laughter, he found the soldier teary eyed with poorly made attempts to stifle the giggles that bubbled out of him. His whole body jerked at the physical effort to withhold his laughter before his shoulders rattled and the laugh came out in a snort as his head tipped back, a soundless wail before he sucked in a deep breath and continued to unravel again.
It was infectious as Sokka's lips curled back into a broad smile and his own laughter started to trickle out, unable to ignore how ridiculous this whole situation felt. Li looked like he was losing his mind by whatever had started the fit, but the tribesman wasn't complaining in the slightest. Uncontained laughter was better than the tearful misery the man had been in most of the morning, and spirits what time even was it? He was starving now that he thought about it.
Li's eye widened when he realized Sokka was awake and seemed to keel over, laughing even harder as the tribesman chuckled at the flailing attempts the soldier made to stifle himself. He rocked forward then back, letting his head tip with the motion, lips parted to speak before he sputtered into a renewed gasping fit.
"What has gotten into you?" Sokka asked, raising a brow at his little fire ferret.
He hiccuped and rasped, breathy as he sucked in short pockets of air. "The ducks- they aha- sound like you-" and then he was gone again, mumbling incoherent explanations between fits as he could barely catch enough air. Just when he'd start to be regaining his senses, he'd lift his head to look at Sokka and snort, proceeding to lose it once again. Li squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his stomach with one hand where he was knelt beside Sokka like his whole chest pained him from the effort of his laughter. The volume was certainly enough to wake the whole house if anyone else was trying to sleep, but the warrior didn't have much skill in quelling his ferret's fits like this.
He reached a hand out to steady Li as he swayed uneasily. Sokka couldn't tell if that was the result of the medicine or the lack of oxygen he was sucking in between giggles and howls.
"Breathe buddy, breathe." Sokka smirked when he started to finally calm down, looking winded and red faced with little streaks of tears racing down his face from the force of his laughter. His shoulders rose and fell in little bursts but Li was calming down for the most part.
"Good job." He praised, rubbing a hand along Li's back as he sagged against the tribesman's side. His head rested heavily against Sokka's shoulder as he sighed and pressed his cheek against the curve of the warrior's collarbone. "Just breathe."
He got a small nod, followed by a tired nuzzle as Li murmured into his tunic. "My stomach feels weird."
Sokka's brows furrowed at that, knitted with concern as he cautiously asked, maintaining a calm tone. "Good weird or bad weird?"
Sokka was answered with a shrug. "Do you feel like you might throw up?"
Another shrug as Li kept his head buried against his chest.
"It's been a while since you've eaten anything substantial. Hama did say it would be hard on your stomach. You should probably try to eat something and see how you feel." He got a small nod but Li made no move to get up. One hand was splayed across Sokka's stomach, fingers fumbling with the hem of his shirt and briskly tracing the curve of his belly down to his hips. It was an idle motion that swayed back and forth like Li was trying to blindly map his body out in little touches.
"Do you think you can walk to the table or would you rather just eat in here?" A minute passed before Li gave another noncommittal shrug. Sokka was beginning to miss the more animated spasms of the soldier's laughter compared to this odd quiet that wasn't quite fitting for the man, leaning too close to those days when he'd lock up and look distant and unresponsive for hours on end.
"I need an actual answer, buddy." He coaxed gently, raising his hand away from Li's shoulders to card through his hair instead. It unraveled where the ribbon had slipped its tie finally and let the braid fall down his neck. It felt nice and silky with a feathery softness that fell away from Sokka's fingers as he worked them through it, smoothing out the waves it had been in since the feast the night before.
"Can try." He grunted softly.
"That's all I'll ever ask from you, my fiery little ferret." Sokka hummed in approval. "Alright. Up we go." He lowered his hand to give his shoulder an encouraging pat so he could sit up. It took a little bit of effort as Li arranged himself in the cramped space so he wasn't strewn across Sokka in any way. The warrior slid his legs over the edge of the bed easily and stretched them out a moment before shoving up. The bitter cold outside had managed to make him a touch more stiff than usual as he shuffled a step and steadied himself. Gathering his composure, he held his hand out to pull his ferret up.
Li was as unsteady and weak kneed as a baby yak, losing his balance almost immediately as he crumpled against Sokka's chest. He gripped the warrior's arm as tightly as he could but his hands were clumsy and his strength was flagging, more panicked and brief than firm and steady. Sokka looped an arm around his waist to help keep him upright and considered just leaving Li to stay curled in bed.
But any attempt to lower him back to the mattress had his ferret gripping him tighter as his arms wrapped around Sokka and gripped at his wrist even harder. It wasn't nearly as powerful as the soldier's usual but it was enough for Sokka to notice. He had to shuffle them through the narrow doorway sideways, gently parting the curtain. He waited a moment, easing Li slowly out of the room for his eyes to adjust after so long sitting in the dark. He blinked owlishly up at Sokka, confused and unsteady still, but his feet moved even with a little stumble at first, until he was out in the open with the lantern lights revealing his disheveled appearance. His hair hung down in front of his face shielding his scarred eye as he tilted his head in a way to ensure it remained like that.
Sokka led Li to the nearest open seat at the table and settled him down to rest. Gran Gran was seated on the sofa working on her knitting when she eyed them both curiously. Her white brows lifted, bewildered and questioning as Sokka waved it off. "He needs to eat."
She nodded in silent agreement and finished her next few loops before setting her needles aside. "Anything in particular?" She asked.
Sokka rubbed a hand over Li's back as he stood behind the chair, considering the question. "He said his stomach is bothering him so maybe some broth for now?"
"I can arrange that." Gran Gran rose to her feet and smoothed her hands over her dress to ward off the wrinkles before shuffling into the kitchen. "And for you?"
"Whatever you can offer. I'm starving."
She hummed knowingly and set to work. Sokka adjusted a chair beside Li to sit down but stopped long enough to search the living room. When he spotted the spare blanket neatly folded on the back of the sofa, he raced over to snatch it up then returned quickly to drape it around the soldier's hunched posture. Li gripped the edges between fumbling fingers and pulled it around front to burrow himself inside it. Part of the blanket was around his head like a hood as he folded one arm and pressed his face into the crook like he intended to sleep like that.
The crackle of the hearth was enough to warm the house for Sokka's liking, but he could imagine someone from such a tropical climate like Li was probably still chilled even in these cozy temperatures. He scooted his chair closer to the soldier and snaked his arm around Li's back so they were tucked side by side. He shifted closer to the warrior with an incoherent grunt and settled in.
Gran Gran made quick work of the broth and gave Sokka a heavier stew that had been sitting on the coals keeping warm for a while. Li snaked his trembling hands out to take the bowl of broth and sipped at it at first before drinking it down with little regard for how much steam was coming off of the dish. The pitiful look he gave the empty bowl made him look like a kicked tiger-seal pup, his wide honeyed eye staring mournfully down at it until Gran Gran took the bowl to refill it.
"You think you can stomach something heavier, Li?" She asked. Li was hesitant to answer before giving a small nod and looking thoughtfully at Sokka's bowl, still steaming under his spoon. Gran Gran gave the soldier half a scoop from the hot pot and set the bowl back in front of him. "Slowly now. You don't want to make yourself sick." She warned before letting the dish go.
The soldier considered the advice and stirred his spoon around the stew to dissipate the steam. His hands had a slight tremor to them still and when he lifted the spoon to his lips, he had to blow on it, letting it touch his bottom lip as if mapping out his perception before taking a bite. He did this with each bite as Sokka watched him, partaking quietly of his own meal. He split a piece of bread with the soldier and studied his expression for any signs of sickness, but as Li ate, his hands shook a little less and his movements were a little more confident even if he did still need to touch the spoon to his lip each time to make sure he didn't miss or spill.
When he finished his bowl, he sagged against Sokka, letting his head rest on the warrior's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Want more?" He asked.
Li shook his head, a short jerk of motion before mumbling out. "M'tired."
"Alright." Sokka hummed. "Let me finish and I'll help you back to bed."
"Stay with me?" He asked, his voice so terribly soft and desperate in Sokka's ear.
"Yeah, I'll stay with you." Sokka promised, running his hand through Li's hair in a gentle ruffle of motion. The man hummed at that and let his head dip against the warrior.
Gran Gran took their bowls and Sokka coaxed a drink into the soldier before carrying him back to bed. He laid Li down under the furs, tucking them around the soldier when he noted the way his hand was reaching out for something. Puzzled, Sokka's eyes followed the direction towards Li's desk. At first, he wondered if the soldier had overheard their earlier conversation about the letter, but the tight panic in his chest was abated when Li asked instead.
"Theater scroll."
"I thought you wanted to sleep?" Sokka asked.
"I do." He mumbled, pawing at his good eye tiredly. "Scroll first."
"Alright." Shrugging, Sokka went to the desk where he found the box set of scrolls Li had purchased on the ship and had been reading on occasion when time permitted. He picked one, lit the lantern and closed the curtain behind himself, setting the lantern on the bedside table where he could see the scroll and climbed under the furs next to his ferret.
"Here." He offered.
Li shook his head at the scroll and carefully pushed it back to Sokka. "You."
Sokka chuckled when it dawned on him. "You want me to read you a bedtime story?" The soldier almost looked sheepish at that as he quietly nodded his answer. "Alright. I've never read a theater scroll before so I'll warn you, I might be bad at it."
Li hunkered down to get comfortable, with his head tucked against Sokka's shoulder so his good eye could follow along. He unrolled the scroll and took a moment to orient himself to the formatting. Li offered advice in choppy one or two word sentences, but Sokka caught on quickly. He even started making the voices to go along with the cast, and let his voice rumble as he read the narrations for the story.
It was an additional victory if he got a smile or a laugh from the soldier as he listened along, fighting the tendrils of sleep that tried to pull him under so he didn't miss a single detail. After the end of the first act though, Li had quickly lost that battle. Sokka rolled the scroll back up and set it on the bedside table before blowing the lantern out for the night.
Notes:
As someone who has permanent nerve damage that affects both my eyes due to a 13 year old injury, this chapter was a lot of self projection because I rarely ever see people show the permanent after effects of severe eye injuries. Like the extreme light sensitivity even to the eye that wasn't damaged, pain from strain, tear ducts that randomly produce tears without prompting, muscle twitching or spasms in and around the afflicted eye, pain that happens when the weather turns and can sometimes be debilitating (especially with scar tissue injuries and burns), and how it can affect the rest of the face/jaw/skull/neck.
For me, it was my right eye and I have to rely on wearing sunglasses anytime I go outside, even at night because lights in the dark (especially UV or red or blue lights) can leave me feeling blinded for several minutes and unable to open my eyes at all during that time until the pain stops. Getting a flashlight shined in my face for 30 seconds gives me 5 minutes of straight hell and a residual really bad headache.
When my eyes are strained or the weather has them overly sensitive, I can go two or three days of having to lay in a dark room with my eyes covered. Which isn't an uncommon occurrence so if I'm just AWOL for a couple days, chances are I burned my eyes out for a few days and am recovering in a dark room somewhere. Its inevitable, it happens. Especially now as we move into winter.
So as I self project my pain into Zuko, and amp it up a little more cause burn tissue + cold weather sucks ass, expect to see more of this in the future. Which may also include more High As Balls Zuko antics as he tries to cope.
I am seriously a little still salty (mostly just me quietly muttering to my wifey about it) for how little I see people actually exploring the extensive after affects of Zuko's disability and injury cause even if its healed (and old which I got mine around the same age Zuko got his), the nerve damage is still there and that still hurts like hell when given the right conditions and it gets worse over time.
......
Anyway....
On another note:
Hakoda: *tiredly, after getting attitude from both Sokka and Katara* "Where do you two get this from? It certainly wasn't from me or your mother!"
Hakoda: *fifteen minutes later, he walks into the kitchen to see Kanna cooking* "Oh, right. That's where."
Seriously though, Katara's just strong willed since she was born, but most of her sharpness and Sokka's pent up anger and territorialness is entirely based on poorly managed grief after Kya's death.
....
Thank yall again for all the comments, feedback, thoughts and support. It means a lot to me!! ♡♡♡♡♡
I promise to start working on the Outtakes series soon, I have a lot of ideas I want to put in that I didnt get a chance to in the main story, but first I want to get over this chunk of plot I'm chewing on at the moment. I'm trying to be good and focus on one thing at a time.
Chapter 28
Summary:
Snow, snow and more snow.
Also Zuko is horny but that's nothing new.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Zuko was starving once the medicine had burned out of his system after three days of laying in bed sleeping like a lazy manatee whale basking in the shallows soaking up the sun. His whole body was starting to hurt from lying around so much, leaving him jittery and restless once he could get his feet underneath himself. He shuffled into the kitchen, noting that Sokka was gone early this morning leaving his bed feeling quite a bit colder than it had been with the warrior huddled up beside him. Katara was helping Kanna in the kitchen when he took a seat, feeling sluggish from oversleeping and just as gritty from wearing the same clothes all this time. He grimaced at himself, pawing his hair out of his face with a touch of his old scowl settled on his features.
“Well good morning to you, sleepy head.” Katara greeted fondly, coming to a stop when she turned to face the sound of quiet steps and set a hand on her hip, eyeing him over thoughtfully. “You look like you ended up on the wrong side of a polar bear dog.” He grunted at the teasing comment and plopped down into a seat at the table, cradling his face against his palms as he massaged his eyes. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah.” It didn’t sound all that confident. Just worn out and achy. She smiled at him and turned back to what she was working on before returning with a steaming plate set in front of the prince. It had some sort of sausage on it with bread, the dark berry jam he liked and what might be eggs and a type of fish. Whatever it was, it smelled heavenly as he picked up his fork and started to dig in.
“Good. Your appetite is back.” Kanna chimed.
Zuko gave a small grunt of agreement as he shoved a bite of sausage in his mouth. Katara snickered at him as the prince, in a very un-princely way, lowered his head and shoveled bite after desperate bite into his mouth. He didn’t have the energy to offer any sort of manners when his stomach felt like it was going to start eating itself soon.
He almost missed the sound of the front door opening as the warrior stepped in, only noting the sound of boots stomping the snow off of the treads as he shuffled in place. Sokka was a bit more bundled up than he normally was, peeling his parka off with red tinged cheeks that turned rosy from the chill outside.
“Brrrr.” He shivered, pulling his gloves off to lay them out with everything else hanging up to dry. “The paths are shoveled. Kodiak, Tonuk and Alik did the longhouse already and Hama’s is all cleared out.”
“Pana’s?” Kanna asked.
“Dad did it early this morning after he and Bato finished the stables.” Sokka explained, kicking his boots off to the side and tugging his socks back up his calf as he shuffled stiffly into the room, rubbing his cold hands together with another shiver. “Inuk and Ikiaq are finishing the Gull house right now.”
Kanna made a judgmental noise. “Ikiaq really shouldn’t be out in this with his back the way it is. If he falls again-”
“You try telling him to sit inside when work needs to be done. You know he won’t budge on it.” Sokka pointed out as he veered towards the table, wrapping around to the side that Zuko was sitting at, chewing on a crisp piece of sausage with a pleasant snap to the casing. On one hand, he really wanted to know how this was made, on the other hand, he figured he’ll enjoy it while he can and maybe he’ll find out later.
“Hey Li.” The warrior cheered, grinning down at him with a lopsided smile. He stood directly behind Zuko’s chair, giving the soldier the distinct sensation of alarm that often came before sibling level mischief. His back spasmed in a twitch of annoyance until a pair of cold hands were cupping his bare forearms as Sokka leaned over him to give him a hug from behind. “Miss me?”
The cold yelp that escaped Zuko had him jerking beneath Sokka’s hold as the warrior rubbed his wind chilled cheek against his right ear and snickered. “Agni’s balls! Sokka, I will murder you in your sleep!” He growled, twisting to get free from Sokka’s cold hands.
“Hey, he speaks more than one word!” Katara teasingly cheered from where she was working at the counter.
The warrior eventually let up and gave the soldier a mock pout before shuffling into the kitchen to get closer to the hearth to warm his fingers and snoop at the pans holding hot food where they rested in the hot coals. Katara had turned her back on her brother to roll some dough under her palms when Sokka cupped his cold fingers over the back of her bare neck where her hair was tied up into a tight bun to stay out of her face. She jerked and gasped sharply, whirling on her brother to swat him, leaving a flour covered print across the shoulder of his sweater.
He chuckled and shrank back to avoid a second hit as she cursed him out in Water Tribe. Kanna reached up to give his wolftail a tug, pulling his attention down to her disapproving gaze. Like any scolded little boy, he shrank back and looked uncertain before a small smile peeked back through his lips when she prepared him a plate.
Watching a giant warrior get put in his place by a tiny old woman was never more satisfying than it was right now as Zuko observed, an amused smile playing across his face as he gave the fish a try. After the first bite, his attention was redirected to his plate, effectively ignoring Sokka’s plights for the foreseeable future.
“So what’s on the agenda for today?” Katara asked, eyeing her brother as Sokka took the seat beside Zuko. The prince glanced up warily at the warrior who smirked at him innocently before turning his focus to his own steaming plate.
“Not quite sure.” Sokka admitted, before shoving half of a sausage in his mouth. The casing snapped spectacularly under the bite of his teeth, leaving the other half clinging to his fork. “Li?”
“Bath.” He grunted easily. There was nothing he wanted more than a bath at that very moment. He would brave the snow and cold just to get a hot warm bath.
“Bath it is.” The warrior agreed easily and continued strategically clearing his plate of every last morsel. Zuko had already long since cleared his own and was fidgeting with the empty cup in his grasp. When they were both finished, he collected their dishes and carried them to where Kanna was waiting. She nodded appreciatively at him then shooed him back out of the kitchen to get his things around for the steam baths.
The snow outside wasn’t so bad. The wind had died down considerably with only the lightest breeze every now and then that nipped his cheeks and nose. He still wore his heaviest parka as they trudged through the cleared paths that connected the houses and buildings to one another in a neat series of lines like a large spider web.
“Is this what you were doing all morning?” Zuko asked, gesturing at the tidy paths and the heaps of snow that created miniature walls on either side. There were older children running about climbing the hills and piles, packing them down and digging tunnels to make forts out of them. Squeals of joy and bursts of laughter were mingled with shrieks as they raced about. A dog was barking somewhere in the village before a blur of tawny fur and fast paws sprinted by, ploughing through one of the banks of snow in a bounding leap, followed swiftly by racing children bundled up just as tightly as Zuko was.
“Yeah. When we can. If the snow isn’t too bad, we can keep the paths cleared like this for a while. It’s when the drifts get bad that a lot of the village hunkers down in the longhouse and waits it out.”
Zuko nodded at the explanation. It made sense in a way, even if he wasn’t exactly sure how the drifts would force the whole village to move to one central location. Or even what drifting snow would really look like for that matter. He kicked a clump of snow with his boot and sighed wistfully.
“Guess I won’t be doing much sparring in this.”
“We could always try.” Sokka offered, gesturing at how easily the kids could move in the piles. “It’ll make falling a lot softer.”
The prince snorted in amusement at that, before that amusement was cut short in a burst of alarm as a ball of white came right in his direction. He dodged it by ducking behind Sokka in a jerk of reflexes, causing him to knock into the warrior and shove his boots a little across the ice. Sokka slid a little and got pelted with the offending ball that hit and crumbled on impact.
“What in Agni’s name was that?” Zuko blurted, whipping his head around to inspect their surroundings with a tremor of excitement. His heart had leapt against his ribcage as he stared wide eyed at the warrior for an answer.
Sokka chuckled and reached down to scoop a handful of the snow up into his bare palms, packing it tight into a ball before lobbing it into the air with a throw directed at one of the small lurking figures beyond the snow hill. “That, my fiery little ferret, is called an act of war.”
“What?” Zuko blanched, even more confused.
“It’s a snowball fight.” Sokka blurted, grabbing Zuko by his parka to drag him to safety. “Get down! We’re surrounded.”
This declaration was punctuated by a handful of snowballs crashing to the ground around them. One managed to hit Zuko’s shoulder and roll down his back to land at a heap beneath him where he crouched. The soldier examined the hastily made artillery and smirked, reaching into the snowbank they were hiding behind with his gloves to make his own. He shrugged his satchel off with his and Sokka’s belongings in them for the baths, and dove out into the fray, returning quick fire the way Sokka had. His aim was a little off, but it was enough to scatter the half dozen or so children scurrying about the opposite snow banks. He lurched forward, quick on his feet but mindful of the slick and ice that covered the ground in patches as he scooped more snow up, building quick balls with the packy resource and threw another. It struck one boy in the chest as he dramatically teetered, arms raised in defeat before his comrades rose up to avenge him.
Sokka was quick to throw himself into the fray beside him, throwing snowballs with far more accuracy than Zuko, though the prince was making quick improvement once he figured out how much power to put behind each throw. He ducked and dove to avoid the offending snowballs, getting pelted with a few here and there, mostly using Sokka as a shield. The warrior made a daring lunge and caught one snowball mid air before it could hit Zuko in the face, crushing it under his palms before packing the remnants into a larger snowball to return the slight back on the offending enemy.
The dog that raced about earlier had returned to the hoard, inspecting the warzone that had become the sleepy little corner of the village and started attacking the flying balls of snow, chomping down on the offensive projectiles and even leaping into the air to catch a few itself. It was an impressive display of athleticism before it landed and slid and skidded across the ice and plopped clumsily through the snow, leaving messy trails in the white expanse as it raced with tongue lolled out and panting, in between excited barks.
Zuko whirled away from a close call only to get pelted with two more snowballs that clung to his parka. He returned fire with equal efficiency and dove across the ground, rolling out his momentum to avoid more projectiles only to get ploughed over by the energetic canine that took a moment to excitedly lick his face before racing off to tackle Sokka.
“We’ve been ambushed!” The warrior shouted as the dog leaped up and knocked him down after striking him in the back. He rolled about in the snow as the children stood upon their snowy hills and cheered in victory. Zuko was sitting in the snow laughing, his cheeks ached as his lips pulled into such a broad smile that it left a twinge in the left side of his face. His heart was rapidly sprinting in his chest and thudding noisily in his ears at the sudden excitement of it all.
Eventually they had to pry themselves away from the children, declining a second round but with the promise for a later rematch as they collected their belongings and headed for the steambaths. Zuko was looking forward to the welcoming heat even more now with the damp bite of snow clinging to his hair where it hung down his shoulders. He stomped his boots and dusted the worst of the snow off of himself before he ended, noticing the white splatters of snow that hung off of Sokka like badges of honor as they shuffled inside where it was much warmer and sheltered.
Zuko made quick work of changing out of his clothes, letting his parka hang to dry with his gloves before trailing the tribesman into the heated room. His hands fussed with his long hair absently and hummed, noting the dark scruff that was growing in nicely along Sokka's jawline. Zuko noticed that the warrior had taken his advice and kept it trimmed low, shading the length of his jaw until two tips curled up, one on either side of his chin that made the strong feature all the more prominent. It continued along the curve of his chin, with a smaller triangular patch beginning to grow under his lower lip. It was charming in a way that made his handsome face all the more striking.
Settling back on the warm boards, Zuko sighed and carded the hair out of his face before broaching the thought. "I'm trying to decide whether or not to cut my hair."
Sokka had settled easily on the boards, quickly getting comfortable as he fed the stove and let it heat up. He tilted his head thoughtfully and gave Zuko a long considerate look. It wasn't hungry or fleeting, but thoughtful as he took the question and molded it around his thoughts before offering his own opinion on the matter.
"What would you do to it?" He asked after a moment.
Zuko shrugged and tucked his knees closer to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them and leaned forward against them comfortably. "Probably just trim it back a bit. Just enough to tie it into a formal topknot."
Sokka nodded his understanding. "And what would be the pros and cons of that? Tell me what you're thinking. Why do you want to do it and what makes you hesitate?"
The prince paused to consider this question, raking his fingers through his hair thoughtfully as he did it. “Hmm. For starters, it is getting kind of long in the back and takes longer to wash especially like this.” He gestured at the southern style sauna they were in. “And the snow clumps to it when we’re outside.”
“Okay.” Sokka hummed. “That’s the cons. What about the pros of keeping it?”
“It keeps my neck warm and protected?” Zuko offered with a bit of uncertainty. “When it isn’t catching snow.” Sokka nodded. He carded his fingers through it again, feeling the feathery softness that had faded to become oily in areas and unpleasantly damp from the snow. “From a practical combat sense, it would be smarter to cut it, but from a survival stance, the layers could offer warmth. I’m not participating in combat here and I’m not going to make it that short. It’ll grow back out in no time.”
“Then you have your answer.” Sokka chuckled. “Want me to help you trim it down later?”
Zuko eyed the warrior pensively before nodding in agreement. “Sure. Why not?”
Sokka smirked, eyeing the prince back as he stretched and stoked the flames in the stove before feeding a bit more wood inside of it. “Maybe we could give you a more water tribe style cut?”
“If you shave my head, I will shave you bald in your sleep.” Zuko warned with a growl. “Eyebrows, beard and all.”
The tribesman barked out a laugh and shook his head slowly, smiling at the prince now as the heat began to really build up in the room. “Don’t worry my little ferret,” He purred. “I will be gentle with you.”
That shouldn’t have been as attractive as that was, but Zuko ended up turning bright red in the face and squirming a little in his seat trying to hide the small jolt of arousal that Sokka’s words had elicited. This was definitely not the place for it, and the sultry look the tribesman was aiming at him told the prince that Sokka knew exactly what he was doing and what kind of reaction he got from Zuko. His mouth curved just enough to be coy about it, but the heat in those blue eyes was enough to almost make Zuko’s resolve to stay on his side of the sauna completely melt like the snow outside.
“Fuck.” Zuko hissed under his breath and fixed his gaze down on his knees and focused on anything other than the flex of Sokka’s body as he resumed the tedious work of warming the whole room to sweltering conditions. The extreme suffocating heat wasn’t enough to quell the twitch of interest that nagged at him and pooled around the base of his stomach. He shifted uncomfortably, and tried every tactic he could to make himself flag a bit. Even recalling the time he was forced to prove himself as a virile heir. That was possibly the most uncomfortable situation he has ever been in, in his entire life and that was even including all the times he got stuck sitting in a meeting room with Zhao having tea with the man with his creepy looks shot in Zuko’s direction every few minutes when the conversations he was having with General Iroh or Prince Ozai hit a lull. As odd as it was, Zhao was enough of a distraction to replace his arousal with anger followed by skin crawling disgust and a venomous dislike that made him wilt faster than the time Azula tried gardening and killed two of mother’s panda lilies.
Disturbingly enough, he was relieved for that and decided to keep that little nugget of emergency information on hand for future incidents, because this was clearly not going to be the last. He had a very long winter ahead of him at this rate, especially with the way Sokka was smirking at him in the corner of his periphery. He cursed under his breath and ignored the creeping heat in his face, counting turtleducks and his blessings to Agni that it wasn’t creeping any lower than that.
Back at Kanna’s home, Zuko had settled down at his desk feeling refreshed after the steambath and was waiting for Sokka to finish whatever errand he had been whisked off to help with at Tonuk’s behest. His hair was soft and feathery as it fell over his eyes and started to curl around his ears where he kept trying to tuck it aside. The back was becoming wavy from spending so much time in the easy braids he wrapped it up in. The warrior promised to help him trim it when he got back, and in the meantime, the prince was determined to give the letter on his desk a close inspection.
He read the sender tag attached to the ribbon before untying it. Shin’s scrawl was like toucan puffin scratch against the parchment, but he was thankfully well versed in reading the various horribly done, barely legible reports of his men and the hardly coherent equally as disappointing efforts of enemy troop reports that he squirreled away for his own use. Giving it a careful read, he was amused to find that Shin’s entire missive was just an excited and casual congratulations on the successful hunt.
Tekk told me about the tanning practice you’re getting with Hakoda’s boy, Sokka. Maybe one of these days we’ll make a proper trapper of you yet. Then I might have some nice competition next year. It’s always good to learn new skills, Li. Be proud of that.
It goes on to describe a few other things as Shin gave him some tips and tricks for laying snares, how to find certain prey in the area, the types of regularly hunted animals around the village and some ways that certain pelts could be used.
It was followed up with some idle comments comparing local wildlife to the ones they had back home in the Fire Nation, the types of food he missed and asking Zuko about his own experiences with the tribe so far and what he missed of home, and various other insignificant tedious questions one might add in when getting to know a new colleague through letters. It was enough to occupy Zuko’s thoughts as he rolled the scroll back up and tucked it inside his desk drawer, replacing it with a fresh sheet of paper, an inkstone and brush as he pondered how he was going to respond to this letter.
He probably sat there for half an hour formulating his response before he finally put ink to paper and started writing away. He tried to keep his writing quick, avoiding the fancier imperial style that often gave away his social status as Calderan nobility. He wasn't sure if Shin was familiar enough with the style to recognize it, but better safe than sorry as he worked out the long swooping letters and shortened his fancier curls and flourishes in a similar scratch like fashion. It took longer to write but he eventually had his answer.
Mostly it was a show of appreciation for the praise and tips before he focused most of his attention on how much he missed the warmth of the Fire Nation or the sweet and spicy taste of fire flakes. Or how much he missed Fire Nation spices and heat in every meal. He asked Shin about how he adjusted to the change in diet and if he had any tips on bringing a small taste of home to certain meals. He was reminded of the spices he had purchased in the port town and how he occasionally added some to certain dishes, but for the most part Kanna's cooking was so delicious, he'd feel guilty if he added anything more to it.
By the time he finished and cleaned up his supplies, leaving the letter out to dry, Zuko heard the telltale stomp of Sokka's boots on the entry mat as he shook off the snow.
Getting a haircut from Sokka was strangely far more intimate than all the times they had cuddled together for warmth or comfort on the cramped bed or the time spent in the baths. Having Sokka's fingers carding expertly through his hair with an air of intense concentration as his touch danced across Zuko's scalp causing little electric pinpricks of excitement shooting down his spine to nestle in his groin.
The sound of the scissors cutting through his hair so close to his good ear had his spine tightening in alarm as instincts screamed danger while another part of him wanted to melt back into the ghosting press of fingers along the side of his face and the gentle massaging motions as large strong hands worked with care and confidence. His heart had climbed up into his throat leaving his chest tight and his trousers growing a little more uncomfortable as he neglected the simmering heat in his gut. He tried his hardest to ignore the sensation of Sokka's breath dancing warmly on his neck as he cut the ends away. Or the way a calloused palm smoothed across his shoulders to dust the short hairs aside that fell onto a towel below where the prince sat.
He drew his shoulders back, leaning into the lingering stroke of a thumb along the nape of his neck that carefully outlined his collar. His breath settled and held firm in his lungs as Sokka moved in front of him. Zuko's eyes squeezed shut as fingers shifted his bangs aside before lowering to grasp his chin, giving it a gentle lift towards the light. Zuko dared to peek an eye open and found those blue eyes watching him, studying him in the way one might study a painting or a rare sculpture. The warrior's eyes drank in every detail, mapped out every corner and shadow across the prince's face as he calculated his next move. Zuko had never felt so seen as he sat before Sokka's intense gaze like this. He swallowed thickly, letting a shaky exhale slip through his nostrils. Instinct would have had him dropping his attention back to the floor, but Sokka's fingers were a warm yet gentle pressure along his jaw ensuring he didn't move an inch. The stretch of his thumb swept along the corner of Zuko's mouth where it was twisted just a little by the tight pull of scar tissue straining a long since tired muscle. He tried to relax his shoulders, to let the tension unwind and melt away, but his entire body was singing for him to press forward, to close the distance and take that daring leap.
He swallowed it down and closed his eye, taking another shaky breath as he ignored the desire to nuzzle into Sokka's awaiting palm. A part of him wondered if Sokka could feel how fast his heart was beating like this. If he understood why it was fluttering fast like a hummingbird's as warm fingers caressed his throat and jaw to steady him.
The warrior took the utmost care and caution when working around Zuko's scar. He telegraphed every touch before it happened, sliding his fingers along the prince's skin, tracing predictable paths as he went so Zuko could anticipate his intentions ahead of time.
"Hold still." The warrior spoke softly, his voice rolling low into a rumble that sent Zuko's skin alight with gooseflesh. The scissors cut away at the desired strands, evening it out as Sokka worked while humming praises that only warmed him more. "Good boy."
'Fuck.' Zuko cursed inwardly. 'Fuck fuck fuck!' Sokka had to be doing this on purpose. He had to know what he was doing, how he sounded right now and just how much it had Zuko wound tighter than an anchor chain ready to break from the tension. He stifled a sound in his chest as those fingers brushed along the curve of his scar as it arched and stretched up into his hairline where his ear puckered. Zuko's entire body went rigid as the pads of Sokka's fingers moved from sensitive skin to the lifeless scar tissue that barely registered much more than the dull pressure of something touching it like this.
"Just a little more." Sokka assured, his voice was even and calm as he moved. Zuko held as still as a statue as his fingers fisted tightly in his lap. His good ear strained to hear the sound of the scissors cutting through his hair as he kept both eyes closed. The prince knew if he opened either of them, he wouldn't be able to smother the reflexive twitch to pull away. He couldn't silence that ingrained fear of not being able to see exactly what was happening no matter how many years it's been since he lost his vision in that eye.
"Just breathe, it's okay." The warrior commanded, sympathetic as he steadied his hands. Zuko hadn't even realized he was holding his breath or the jittery excitement that had him trembling with every racing beat of his heart. His lungs ached as he slowly let it escape past his lips. Sokka's palm cupped his jaw to turn his head, directing it to a new angle. His heart swooped inside his chest at the ease of every touch and the soft rumble of gentle words. "How are you doing, buddy?"
"Good." He grunted in answer, ignoring the way his voice rasped particularly hard.
"Almost done. Hang in there a little longer." Zuko grunted in affirmation as Sokka's knuckles brushed his shoulder to sweep the sparse hairs away. The prince could feel the heat of the tribesman's body every time he stepped closer to the chair Zuko was perched on, the brush of Sokka's chest against his back, the warm tickle of air across his damp hair where the warrior had wet it with his fingers earlier. It was hard not to feel so Agni-damned starved for every bit of contact Sokka could offer him, especially in moments like these when he had all of the warrior's undivided attention. He ached to feel Sokka's hands all over him, to be touched this gently and savored, to hear those quiet reassurances as Sokka broke him down bit by bit, ever so slowly until he was begging for the warrior to just take him all at once and not stop for a minute. He wanted to know what Sokka's mouth felt like on his skin, the hot touch of his tongue across his lips and the press of the warrior's own lips sucking purpling bruises along his neck, to stake his claim and make Zuko his. To feel the scrape of teeth along his jaw as diligent fingers worked him to the edge until he was spilling with relief.
Zuko shivered as Sokka shifted his stance. His back spasmed at the closeness of the warrior as he tipped his head up with the coaxing touch of warm hands along the side of his face. The prince squeezed his eyes tightly shut and forced himself to breathe, to count turtleducks, to calm himself down and quiet his racing heart. He felt dizzy, like his head was spinning as the tribesman finished his work. The quiet snip of the scissors glided effortlessly through his hair before they were gone altogether. Zuko heard the metal clink lightly against the table. One of Sokka's hands never left its place as it stroked through his hair, pushing and pulling it in various directions to gauge the length and evenness. Then, after a minute of inspection, there was the gingerly press of fingers against the back of his head tilting it forward.
"Hold still. This is going to be a little cold." Sokka urged as wet fingers smoothed over the back of his neck. They lingered only a moment as chilly droplets gathered near his collar before the flat scrape of a razor dragged smoothly along his skin. The prince couldn't help but suck in a sharp breath in surprise. Thankfully he had plenty of practice at ignoring his instinctive responses and held as still as stone while Sokka worked. Only moving when the warrior permitted him to adjust with a tender yet brisk touch to his jaw or a gentle push against the back of his head.
When he was finished, Sokka pulled the protective sheet of fabric away from Zuko's shoulders and let the whole mess pool down to where the towels laid below making for quick and easy clean up.
"All done." He chimed enthusiastically to the prince, finally giving him leave to move. Zuko reached for the hand mirror that they borrowed from Katara to inspect his hair now.
It was a few inches shorter than it had been previously, shaggy enough to cover and protect his face while barely reaching his eyes and just starting to trail down his neck. It was long enough for a small ponytail if he needed it, but still short enough to be easily manageable. Running his fingers through his own hair didn't feel as good as when Sokka did it, but the lightness of the cut and the style was something the prince could appreciate. It still had a wild appeal to it that was personally preferable for him. In a way, it made him look a bit younger than he was, which was a rarity of its own since he got burned. It softened the warped edges of his scar and smoothed out the lines of his face.
"It looks good." Zuko preened, tipping his head from side to side to inspect every angle he could. He was genuinely surprised with Sokka's skills with a pair of shears. It was impressive to say the least. "Thank you."
"No problem." Sokka smiled and hummed as he started the very tedious task of cleaning up the mess. Zuko felt a little guilty and offered to help but the warrior nudged him to sit back down and relax a little bit. It puzzled the prince as he stared after the larger man with bewilderment before conceding to his commands and taking the chance to delve back into the nightmare fuel that is unpleasant thoughts to make his excitement wilt away once more. It was becoming its own tiresome task to make his body relax and stop jumping so far ahead like this.
Even if the feelings were mutual, and Sokka wanted him even a fraction as much as Zuko wanted the warrior, they still had to abide by the stupid rules placed upon them. He could look but he couldn't touch. At least not in that way, which was incredibly disappointing. Sighing tiredly, he closed his eyes and forced his body to unwind bit by frustrating bit until he could move with running into any embarrassing problems, and even then he lingered in the seat, sneaking peeks in the hand mirror as he adjusting the angle of his bangs with his fingers, trying different styles as he went.
Against every genius instinct that dictated they should stay huddled inside the warmth of their humble abode for the rest of the evening, Zuko found himself being tugged back out to the freezing temperatures after making a request that Sokka help him mail a letter. The tribesman gave the letter a very unhappy look when he read who it was designated for before opening it to give it a quick skim. Zuko was a little confused and annoyed at first at the invasion of privacy before Sokka explained that it was the responsibility of the handlers of their war prizes to supervise any and all letters that come in and out to their charges.
“Chances are, Tekkeitsertok and dad read the one you got from Shin already before it even reached you.” He stated as he rolled the letter back up and tied it properly with the same red ribbon Zuko had used from Shin’s. “We’ve had issues in the past of letters being disguised as good natured leading to problems down the line.”
“Really? How?” He was confused by that, raising a brow at the implication.
Sokka shrugged. “It didn’t happen in this village, but in another a couple years ago. The letters were written in a way that seemed harmless to the passing eye but after finding out how the recipient felt about the unwanted attention, it became very clear that they weren’t as harmless as people thought. It caused a lot of distress for them and the village council had to handle the whole thing.”
Zuko supposed that was a potential problem he hadn’t considered before. Blackmail, harassment, coded messages, and so much more. As a scout, he understood how easy it was to disguise important information to look harmless and uninteresting. A recipe shared could double as a series of directions to a dead drop, a fond memory of the old days was a cold reminder of something unpleasant and blood chilling for another, a few choice words could unravel an entire mission and throw them into the heart of a deadly trap or ambush. The subtlety of these seemingly harmless words could be the decree of another’s social and oftentimes, literal execution.
Thinking back on his own letter, he felt a curl of embarrassment when he realized a good portion of it was just him talking about how much he misses food and how good Kanna’s cooking is. Not that he intended to send secret messages to Shin, but the thought made him flush a little at the realization that his only concern was food and how many people were going to read this letter before it even reached its destination, and this was going to color everything they knew about him.
He pouted a little as Sokka chuckled and pat him on the shoulder reassuringly. They pulled their parkas on and navigated the frozen village towards a wooden hut where the softened sounds of coos and trills could be heard the closer they got. The hour was still early but night was quickly creeping in as the whole village grew silent. Only the crunch of snow under their boots accompanied them through the naked paths as they rounded a corner. The prince was a little confused when he noticed two parkas huddled together against the side of the hut nearest the entrance where the walls made a small cubby to tuck into away from the wind.
As they got closer, Zuko’s face heated up when he realized it was two older women, maybe around middle aged with one being considerably stockier than her counterpart, who was tall and a bit slimmer. The taller of the two was slotted between the shorter’s legs as she stooped down to press a kiss into her lover’s mouth, swallowing the quiet puffs of air that escaped her, fingers tangling into each other's braids as they fell askew from the wrangled loops.
Sokka rolled his eyes as they came to a stop, eyeing the pair as he cleared his throat pointedly, before speaking in Water Tribe. “A lesson in mating behaviors would be more beneficial where the Gulls could see it, Meriwa.” His voice was teasing as the shorter of the two groaned and straightened up under her lover’s embrace.
“So I take it you want the lame bird today, Sock boy?” She turned to inspect the two of them with a hand resting easily on her hip. The prince puzzled at the moniker, and noted that Sokka was unswayed by its usage. Glancing between them, Zuko was surprised when he noted that while one of her eyes was a bright vivid blue like many of the tribesmen he’s met, her right eye was a mixture of a vibrant blue that swirled off partway into a bright spring green on one half. It was a peculiar pattern that had briefly stolen his attention before he could catch himself and direct his gaze to somewhere more appropriate than just staring.
Sokka snorted at the little jab as the woman meandered closer and raked her eyes over Zuko with a smirk. “So this is the ferret Katara told us about?”
“Spirits, is nothing sacred with her?” Sokka cursed and shook his head. “This is Li.” Then, switching to Fire Nation, he proceeded to introduce them. “Li, this is Meriwa and her wife Kirima. They run the Gull house and handle all of the communications for the village.” Kirima gave a timid wave and smiled warmly at Zuko, while Meriwa appeared to be the far bolder of the two, extending her arm in a Water Tribe greeting. Zuko accepted it and gave it a firm shake as they stepped into each other’s space. Despite being the shorter of the two, she was still a few inches taller than Zuko which made him bristle a touch. Kirima hit a midway point between Sokka and Meriwa that had her reaching the warrior’s chin with the top of her head. Zuko estimated she might be close to Lu Ten’s height now that he thought about it, which only made him feel a small ache of homesickness for his family.
Kirima chimed pleasantly, her eyes alighting with recognition as her smile broadened. “I remember seeing you at the snow feast. You were sleeping on Sokka’s shoulder like a polar pup.”
Zuko’s face burned bright red as he flustered and shifted uncomfortably by Sokka’s side. The warrior sighed and wrapped an arm around the prince’s shoulders to tuck him close. He hissed under his breath, a light scolding in Water Tribe. “Lay off you two.”
Meriwa waved flippantly at that, the words rolling steadily off her tongue as she tasted every familiar syllable like it was something to savor. “We’re not going to embarrass you and your boyfriend, Sock boy.” She then promptly turned and prowled back into the gull house, beckoning them to follow. Kirima trailed in behind them, shutting the door as they went.
Aside from the jarring exchange in brightness from the glistening eye watering sun glare off the snow outside to the dim lantern glow inside, the first thing that hit Zuko was the Agni awful smell that accompanied an aviary. Even well cleaned, the residual odor of birds and the dusty feathers and reek of fish was enough to make his nostrils burn and take a few steps back. Suddenly, it made sense as to why the two women chose the freezing cold temperatures outside to make out rather than to stay in where it was warmer. He probably would too.
“Clears the sinuses, doesn't it?” Meriwa barked out a laugh as she ushered Zuko towards the cages. “These are the girls.”
The birds were large like Fire Nation messenger hawks and white with little leather harnesses that buckled securely around their torsos for ease of flight when carrying their messages. There was a canister attached to the back of the harness where the letters would slot into easily. There were some with grey breasts and black feathered tips on their wings, while others were solidly white and one had one black foot and one yellow foot. The rest had yellow feet and large daunting beaks.
Above each cage was a symbol that stood out to Zuko as odd. They resembled some of the symbols he had seen on maps and other documents about the Water tribes but couldn’t make any sense of. “What are these?” He asked, turning to Sokka for an answer.
One of the markings looked like a type of fish overlapping the traditional Water Tribe crest of waves. Sokka leaned over the prince’s shoulder, grimacing slightly at the smell still as he considered the question. “That’s the mark of one of the other tribes. Their symbol is the Orca.” He pointed at the next cage where an antlered animal was represented. “The Caribou.”
“That looks like Chief Tekkeitsertok’s tribe.” Zuko pointed at the one after that. The bear insignia that had been on some of the crates they brought in.
“Good memory. It is. That’s Tekk’s marker. When he became Chief, the Tribe changed their mark to a Polar Bear, which they’ve held sacred for a very long time. Before Tekk I think it used to be a Yak.”
“Your tribes can change their markings?” It sounded similar to the colonies when he thought about it, but also not quite. If they changed often, it would make sense as to why many of the Water Tribe documents didn’t match anything he had tried to cross reference to figure out what exactly those symbols meant. If they had been the tribal crests of past Chiefs, well then, he was up shit creek for answers regardless of his efforts before.
“It’s not as common, but the Caribou used to be a Dolphin-piranha until the Orca’s changed their’s and the tribal crests looked too much alike.” Sokka chuckled. “There were some pretty intense negotiations about changing it back, until the Caribou decided to change theirs instead. They were the Tigerseals, then they were Turtleseals but that conflicted with a sister Tribe from the North so they became the Caribou.”
Zuko wrinkled his nose as he inspected the cages and their crests, asking as he went. “What were you guys before you were wolves?”
“We were always wolves.” Sokka answered easily. “It’s based on a spirit tale about warriors blessed by the moon and imbued with the power of a wolf spirit. It’s why our helmets and face paint resemble them when we enter battle. We are the children of the wolves.”
“Huh.” Zuko was very interested in hearing this spirit tale, but that was a concern for later. “So what about these crests?” He pointed at the squarely shaped insignias that looked far more Earth Kingdom than Water Tribe.
“Kyoshi Island and the three sisters.” He pointed at three other symbols similar to Kyoshi’s. “They’re the smaller islands we keep in contact with for trade. We’re the only tribe that does.”
Zuko inspected the crests, noting there were four cages with Kyoshi Island markers, but one was empty at the moment. Two had the bear crest, one for caribou and one for the orca tribe, then three individual ones for the three sister islands. When he was ready to send the message, Meriwa brought one of the Gulls out from its cage, handling it with the utmost care like a mother would a child as the large bird settled on her arm. He was impressed that she could balance that much bird without her arm getting tired, as she directed him to slide the letter inside the canister. She sealed it off and stepped outside, allowing Zuko to trail after her into the cold air that nearly stole his breath and simultaneously relieved him of the heavy miasma of bird stench.
Lifting the bird aloft, she gave her arm a small shake, directing the Gull to take flight. Its wings sent the light snow dancing in little flurries around them before it took to the sky, rising towards the clouded horizon, racing daylight to reach its destination.
When they were finished, Sokka looped an arm back around his shoulders and steered them both towards the warm house and the promise of a hot meal.
Notes:
No Nut November has been extended this year for Zuko because reasons.
I don't make the rules. If I did, these two would have boned by now.
I have no clue what was going on with this chapter other than everything is gay, there is sensual grooming and Zuko can't catch a break. Nothing happened in this chapter that I originally had planned which isn't all that new considering my track record. So enjoy this disaster. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. Hopefully next chapter I'll make some actual plot progress.
THANK YOU TO MYSTICPANDORA FOR THIS AMAZING ART OF PIRATE QUEEN YUE
Go check it out and give it some love!
https://mysticpandora.tumblr.com/post/668320915110723584/fan-art-of-yue-from-chained-by
And if yall are curious, I attempted to make Zuko and Sokka from this universe in the Nioh 2 character creation. It's as close as I can get with the limitations of the game, and I'm honestly really proud of how Zuko turned out.
So if you wanna see it, check it out on my tumblr.
https://ablueeyedarcher.tumblr.com/post/668308269012500480/sokka-and-zuko-from-the-atla-fic-chained-using
Thank y'all so much for the constant feedback!! It makes me happy and keeps me cranking this out at the speed of ridiculous.
Chapter 29
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Zuko just couldn’t calm down. It had been two days since Sokka gave him the haircut and he found himself more strung out and hyper aware of every touch the warrior elicited. He thought that maybe it was just a general overall sensitivity, but found out that estimation was wrong when Alik had clapped him on the shoulder when the man stopped by Hama’s to get more medicine for his wife’s bouts of nausea.
It didn’t rear its head until they went to the longhouse earlier that day as Sokka moved a few tables to one side and created an easy sparring space away from the ice and cold. They stuck with using hand-to-hand combat for the most part, and every touch, every grasp of Sokka’s hands on his wrists or bicep, of the way his warm breath ghosted along his exposed neck when he got the prince in a headlock had left him red faced and shivering with curls of pleasure that nestled in the base of his belly. He couldn’t shake it, not even for a moment. The majority of the day had been an uncomfortable shuffle of dodging touches and ducking out of grasps that would draw him impossibly close to losing his mind altogether. He tried meditating, but his mind betrayed his attempts to distract away from thoughts of Sokka and started imagining the press of those strong hands spreading along his ribs and over his chest. The way calloused palms would feel scraping against his hips and the touch of hot lips suckling along his neck.
He hadn’t been this wound up since he was a teenager in the navy with way too many filthy thoughts and easy access to the copious amounts of pornographic content that traveled around a small ship.
Which is what led him to the situation he was in now, stretched out in his bed and praying that the household remains quiet with most of the occupants asleep. It was late and only Kanna remained up as she worked on her knitting by the light of a single lantern in between feeding the fire to keep the house warm enough. He had checked the curtain to ensure it was closed, allowing not a single sliver for prying eyes to mistakenly peek inside, and huddled a little closer to the wall for good measure. The layers of furs hid the way his hand snaked down and slipped under the hem of his trousers, taking his hard length in his palm to give it a stroke.
The sparks of pleasure raced up his spine as he swallowed the shaky breath that crowded his throat to escape. With years of practice staying silent in close quarters lest any of his peers overhear him, he steadied his breathing and moved his hand along the shaft of his cock and smoothed his thumb over the drips of precum that had dampened the fabric. He smeared it around, letting it slick the tips of his fingers as he stroked himself, squeezing the root of his cock before lowering his attention to fondle his sack, giving each a little bit of love before his hand resumed its firm slow strokes.
Agni damn it, he was so wound up it felt like he was going to spill any second if he wasn’t careful. He adjusted his leg, spreading his knees a little more to get comfortable, hoping to sustain this a touch longer as he imagined the gentle glide of Sokka’s fingers in his hair and the firm muscles of his arm flexing around Zuko’s shoulders. The fluttery heat in his chest grew as his heart did rapid somersaults. A tremor of excitement quivered in his thighs as his body ached for something more. It was a tight painful desperation that coiled inside of him, that begged for more than just rubbing one out. His brain very unhelpfully supplied him with the reminder of how Sokka looked sitting in the steam bath, the length of his cock even while flaccid, the impressive thickness that made his mouth go dry just thinking about it. His breath caught in his throat as he tipped his head back, burying his face into the pillow as he traced his fingers along the head of his cock, teasing his fingertip against the slit as his hips stuttered.
Zuko shuddered and bit his bottom lip hard enough to leave a mark when he crested the edge of wild desperation and total relief, teetering cautiously on the tips of his toes as he traced that fine line. He wanted to fall over it, to keep himself balancing as long as possible until he had exhausted himself beyond recovery, hoping he could put this desire to rest for a little while more before it came crawling out of its horrible little hole of temptation again.
He squeezed his eyes shut against the darkness and encouraged the imagery as it danced along the backs of his eyelids. Sokka’s crooked smile that promised so many things that only fueled Zuko’s fantasies. The way his shoulders flexed, the curve of his jaw that was a tantalizing edge that the prince wanted to trace and kiss and smooth his palms against as he pulled the warrior close until he was devouring every inch of Zuko’s body with the desperation of a starved man.
Tightening his fist around his cock, he gave it another few pumps, chasing the electric feeling that raced in his veins and rocketed into his hips. He sucked in a careful breath and held it in his lungs until it burned like smoke and let it ease out of his nostrils, waiting for that edge to dull a little and recede before chasing it back again. Every new thought was an additional reason to keep him clinging to that one spot, to hold him on the cusp of total release before easing himself away despite the aggressive need burning hot under his fingers.
After a few noisy heartbeats thundering loudly in his ear, he toyed with the head of his cock, savoring the way each touch made him tremble and ache deeper than he himself could fathom, feeling on the verge of shattering.
A quiet voice rumbled, low and husky outside of the curtain, catching him off guard. “I had a feeling you would still be awake.” The low build of the voice, the forced quiet that edged it like a growl had him spilling over into his palm with a stifled whine swallowed low in his throat. His head pressed into the pillow, biting the fabric on the edge as his face blazed hotly when he realized the voice belonged to Hakoda, and he hadn’t even heard the man enter the house.
The quiet voice of Kanna responded in kind, confirming that both were oblivious to what was happening behind the curtain but that didn’t stop the cascade of guilt from flooding the prince when he realized what exactly he had just done. He squeezed his eyes shut and mentally unleashed a slew of colorful curses long enough and scandalous enough to shame his entire household, half the Fire Navy and incur Agni’s own wrath upon him.
His head was spinning, as the darkness tipped and swirled as he tried to find purchase in reality against the onslaught of euphoria that left his ear ringing and his heart ramming against his ribcage hard enough to make him genuinely afraid he was going to die from the explosive beats. His entire body trembled as he scrambled clumsily to find the scrap cloth he had kept as one of a few shreds he used to oil his blades. Taking the clean one, he cleared the spent seed from his palm on it before balling it up and stuffing it in a waste bin beneath the discarded parchment he had tossed aside.
“You look troubled, Koda.” Kanna had answered, her voice rising over the steady ringing before it started to subside and his heart was beginning to ease back to a less terrifying speed. He tucked himself back under the furs and pulled the layers up enough to reach his eyes where he could hide while lending his good ear to the conversation.
Hakoda sighed in a way that felt like a great sorrow weighed upon his shoulders. His footsteps scuffed the floor as he approached the sofa. “I have bad news for the tribe.” He admitted. “For all of the tribes.”
Zuko swallowed thickly. There was a pause, a beat of patience before Kanna asked. “How bad off are we going to be?”
There was a moment when Zuko could almost hear the regret that filled that silence before Hakoda spoke. “The Earth Kingdom has rescinded their aid to maintain the trade route and are going to pull their merchants back from the southern routes come Spring.”
There was a quiet gasp from Kanna. Zuko felt his heart sink like a ballast, dropping heavy against his stomach until he felt nauseous. That route was so important to the Southern Tribes and the surrounding islands. What could the Earth Kingdom possibly be struggling with to fail to maintain it? The Water Tribes were their primary allies and an effective combat fleet against the Fire Navy. It would be stupid to cut that resource off.
Unless they were leveraging their desperation to ensure their total loyalty to the Earth Kingdom. Promising to cut them off at the start of a long winter so they faced the dread of shortages and future struggles after how many years of easier prosperity? It was a mind game, a filthy dishonorable tactic to manipulate a helpless pawn into submission.
“Why?” Kanna asked.
“They blame us for the death of the Fire Prince. General Fong says that the Council of Five are upset at the loss of such a valuable source of information. It was a rare opportunity that could have given them an upper hand against the Fire Nation and they say the official reports from the Fire Nation have stated that we are the ones who took the prince’s life.” There was a cold disdain there, a bitterness that rolled off of the chief’s tongue at that declaration.
Zuko knew that was a lie. There was no ‘official report’ that could have validated that conclusion, but this did confirm his suspicions that the rest of his country thought he had died at war. Which meant nobody was waiting for him to come home. He could only assume that this was either entirely made up by the Earth Kingdom to force the tribes into whatever negotiations they wanted, or that his family had concluded his death was at the hands of the Water Tribe attack on the pass encampment and made an incorrect assumption based on limited intel. Or, knowing his father, the far more likely ploy was to turn the Fire Nation people against the Water Tribes who had, until recently, remained a neutral but dangerous force in this war.
In either instance, the outcome remained the same. Come spring, the Water Tribes were going to suffer hardest in this war. If the Fire Navy takes the whole route from Ba Sing Se to Kyoshi island, their supplies and all travel will be cut off. They'll be penned in on all sides, alone and unguarded. If the Fire Nation wanted to, and he didn't doubt his father would use it to his advantage, Zuko's supposed death could void any and all pacts of neutrality the Southern tribes might attempt. To kill a prince was a declaration of total war. There was no avoiding that.
Zuko felt sick to his stomach as those cold thoughts swirled around in his head. It tormented him, nagged at his mind and left him restless and plagued with spells of fitful sleep long after Hakoda left, and Zuko faced the breaking dawn feeling guilty to the point of stomach tightening nausea. He couldn't face Sokka, having risen to partake of his meal before the warrior, and finding a letter waiting for him from Shin that Hakoda had delivered the night before.
The prince didn't open it yet. He set it on his desk and stared at the crinkled ends of the parchment in thought. He needed to do something about this. It was his fault. All of their problems boiled down to him at the heart of it, whether they knew it or not. It was the least he could do to offer aid however he could, but how?
It wasn't like he could discreetly send a letter to his father and say Hello father, I'm not dead. Sorry to disappoint but could you please not declare war on the water tribes, it's really inconvenient. Signed, your disloyal captive son.
Yeah, right. Like that would go over well at all.
Working with Hama was a brief reprieve against the troubling thoughts that hung like cobwebs in his brain. She swept them away with the promise of busy work that had him deep in concentration as he made more salves and ointments in between reciting the names of various plants in both their Earth Kingdom name, their Fire Nation name and their Water Tribe name, along with what they were often used for medically.
She listened intently and added her own bits of wisdom or corrected his Water Tribe pronunciations. It was enough to ease the tension from his shoulders and have him fumbling easily through familiar territory. When his thoughts would start to drift for even a moment, he would correct it by asking a question to the healer and refocusing on her answer no matter how tedious it may be.
He ignored the knowing looks she frequently shot his way when his work started to thin and run out. He stayed in the hut far longer than was necessary, hopeful for something to keep his hands and mind occupied until she looked prepared to sit him down for a talk. He wasn't sure whether to be thankful or concerned when Sokka walked in, looking puzzled to find Zuko still in the hut this late in the day.
Hama studied the both of them, her eyes narrowing fretfully on Zuko as the prince ducked his gaze away and went to retrieve his parka from the rack by his workspace. When Sokka reached out to clasp his shoulder in that fond way he often always did, the prince had jerked out of the touch and sped ahead of him. His boots crunched the snow under his heel as he tread the cleared paths a few paces ahead of the warrior.
"Is something wrong, Li?" Sokka asked, his words edged with caution as he sped up his pace to keep even with Zuko.
"I'm fine." He grunted, but it came out in a cold huff that stung his lungs.
He caught the worried look Sokka shot at him and bristled silently, feeling that nauseous guilt churning his stomach back up into unpleasant knots.
"You sure?" The warrior asked, then gently reminded. "You know you can always talk to me."
'Not about this.' He wanted to say but remained silent instead. A noncommittal shrug followed suit as he turned along the path and headed for Kanna's. Sokka trailed behind him, lagging a few paces as he slowed and stared at Zuko's back. The prince ignored it as he hastily entered the hut and made quick work shedding his cold weather layers before Sokka had come in. Katara watched him from the couch with a brow raised in confusion, their eyes met and he stilled for a moment like a prairie dog caught before a wolfbat. Then, as the door started to open, he scurried away back to his own room where it was dark and quiet.
He didn't want to upset Sokka but every minute of being with the warrior right now only made him feel worse. It reminded him of the impact such an important secret kept could have, even when well meaning. He hated lying, it always made him feel filthy and unworthy of anyone's positive attention. Each worried glance had him spiraling faster towards total collapse and he couldn't deal with that right now. He needed to focus. He needed to think of a way to wriggle out of this or hope that Chief Hakoda is capable of negotiating the trade deal back despite their inconvenience.
It was a floundering hope that he had to cling to.
That hope shattered three days after when he entered the Gull house just as Hakoda was helping Meriwa and Kirima release three birds into the air. One for each of the tribes. His eyes met Zuko's and he saw the burden of so much grief, a burden that the prince himself had felt intimately as his own mistakes carried a heavy death toll.
He could barely manage the words to deliver the scroll Hama wanted to send to the bear tribe, using the last Gull remaining in the cage. Hakoda watched him quietly for a moment, his gaze felt heavy upon his back like the stare of so many silent eyes boring into him from a battlefield of bodies. Zuko paled, feeling a bit queasy now and the reek of bird wasn't helping. When the delivery was done, he staggered away down the path before plopping in a snowbank feeling even more exhausted than he had in weeks.
He wasn't sleeping. He was barely eating. Zuko couldn't stand the constant looks from the others as they grew worried and pitying. Sokka tried to reach out to him but the prince had shrugged off every attempt and snapped in frustration more than a few times. Even Hama wasn't safe from his irritable mood and it only made him feel worse. He just wanted to curl up into the tightest ball he could and make this whole mess just vanish with himself.
A hot tear escaped his eyes, burning warmly down his cheek before the cold wind started to rapidly cool it. The crunch of approaching boots on snow alerted him to unexpected company as he let his head hang and wiped his cheek clean with the sleeve of his parka. He sniffled and stifled a shuddering breath that rattled his chest uncomfortably as a gentle voice coaxed his attention.
"Li?"
Hakoda crouched in front of him as he ignored the chief's studious gaze like a petulant child and scowled into the snow between his boots.
"Is something wrong?"
He let his shoulders jump in a half shrug before he corrected it with a short jerky nod. Zuko was so tired of lying. He was tired of always having to hold back and avoid the well meaning attempts of everyone who's shown him an ounce of compassion.
"Would you like to talk about it?" Hakoda asked after a moment. The snow grated under his boots as he shifted his weight to steady his balance.
Zuko shook his head slowly. The chief considered this before asking, as if to clarify his concerns. "Is it anything anyone could help you with?"
'Anyone.' Zuko realized bitterly. 'Probably meaning Sokka.'
No, if this problem was that easily solved, he wouldn't be like this and the chief wouldn't have to send three gulls bearing terrible news for their entire people.
He shook his head and let his shoulders hunch against the cold wind that picked up. Sitting in a snowbank wasn't doing him any favors of staying warm, but the rest of him was too numb to care so why not add his physical feeling to that list as well.
The prince was startled when he heard the crunch of snow as a heavy weight settled in the bank on his right. He lifted his head to inspect the source only to find Hakoda settled in the cold with him. He let his legs stretch out and tipped his head back to stare at the darkening sky. It was still early in the day but the nights were fast to approach and longer than either of them seemed to care for. The chief had dark shadows that haunted his eyes, creasing the worry lines with far more depth, adding years onto his appearance. It was the stress of being a leader, of carrying that weight with him every minute and never letting himself rest.
Zuko was confused but appreciated the sort of quiet companionship of sitting in a cold hill of snow while steadily losing the feeling in his ass and legs to the biting chill. It was it's own weird relief as he pawed a shaky hand at his face when another tear started to fall.
"Is it safe to assume it's not relationship related?" Hakoda asked gently, his tone on the cusp of teasing but still being mindful of how his words twisted thoughtfully.
" Agni no ." Zuko blanched, then felt his cheeks warm at the thought as he admitted. "That would be so much easier."
Hakoda hummed in sagely agreement. "Homesick?"
Zuko shook his head slowly and ran his hand up along his face to tug his hood back firmly over his ears where it started to slip.
"The war then." It wasn't even a question but Zuko nodded his confirmation. "Yeah, me too." The chief sighed.
He expected more questions than that, he expected some wise words from an elder that knew better or attempts to console him for it, but nothing came. Hakoda just sat there, quietly occupying the same bitterly cold space as Zuko without broaching the topic further. The energy around them offered him an opportunity to talk about it if he wanted to but that's all it was. An open invitation to lay it all out on the ice, or to keep it locked up tighter than a clam with that silent understanding that he wasn't alone. Somehow that made the guilt a tiny bit less sharp, to know they both shared this burden, they both found sleepless nights beneath its looming presence and they both had no idea how to face it. So they were sitting in a snowbank, letting it settle and sink in until they couldn't feel their asses anymore.
It felt like something Uncle could probably concoct a flowery sagely statement around to make it seem less blunt, and like something Lu Ten would find great humor in and possibly even flop down to join them. It warmed him a little to think about, stirring that fluttery pulse of heat inside his chest as he pondered what Lu Ten or Uncle Iroh would do.
If the problem was with the Earth Kingdom, then the solution was with its source. This was a display of power, a leveraging point that the Council of Five thought they held the upper hand on. But Hakoda held a wild card up his sleeve and didn't even know it.
The weighty grief started to recede as his expression softened to thoughtful concentration as he spun his thoughts around that focal point. The groundwork of a plan was beginning to unfold as he built piece after piece, quickly slotting an idea together.
He was quickly drawn out of his thoughts though when he caught Hakoda's amused glance in his direction. He wiped the contemplative look away and replaced it with a stern scowl but the heat wasn't backing the gesture, only the well rounded use of his left side's lack of mobility.
"Solve the problem you were having?" The chief pondered after a moment, the large puffs of his breath rising hot in the air in front of him.
"At least the basis of it." Zuko admitted sheepishly, offering a small shrug.
"Good man." The chief cheered, then made an amused expression as another set of crunching steps came down the path. They both turned to find Bato walking towards them with an incredulous stare.
"Do I even want to ask what you two are doing?" He asked.
Hakoda chuckled. "Enjoying the view." Bato's cocked brow spoke of a deep seated disbelief but he shook it aside.
"You should probably head inside before you freeze your asses off."
"Too late." Zuko grunted and wiggled out of the snow that had become a rather comfortable seat molded around his body.
The taller man rolled his eyes and sighed as he held a hand out to drag them both up to their feet. Despite being in the cold less, Hakoda moved far more stiffly than Zuko as he took an unsteady step and gauged just how cold his backside felt. The answer was not at all considering he couldn't really feel anything. He was grateful he made Hama's delivery at the end of his lesson cause he doubted he'd last long going back how he is now.
He parted amicably with the two older men and self consciously waddled/shuffled back to Kanna's to warm up like an old man.
"Psst, Katara." Zuko whispered through the curtain leading to the woman's room trying to be quiet so he didn't wake Sokka who was still softly snoring in his own room. He had fidgeted awkwardly in the living room, contemplating what he was going to say to her as he waited for some sign that she was up. When the lantern light came on, he perked up and tiptoed over, spying the way it crept under the curtain.
The curtain parted revealing the wide awake woman with her hair neatly tied up for the day. Her brows furrowed in confusion like she couldn't believe Zuko was even talking to her right now when it didn't involve food or teasing Sokka. Which, okay yeah, he realized he rarely ever interacted with her much, but he had the same relationship with Kanna too. And well, most of the tribe now that he thought about it aside from the ship crew and Hama.
"Something wrong?" She asked, giving him a quick once over just to be safe.
"No, not really." Zuko answered awkwardly, recognizing the inquisitive sisterly stare that started to mentally prod at the cracks of his defenses looking for easily accessible weak points to make him spill. He shifted anxiously and hastily explained.
"Sokka's birthday is coming up, right?" He asked and felt a moment of regret when her eyes narrowed and brightened with a spark of intrigue. If this was Azula, he would be backpedaling quickly to avoid sister shaped shenanigans from ensuing but he didn't have anyone else he could really talk to discreetly to leverage ideas off of.
"Yes. What about it?" She probed, folding her arms over her chest as she leaned against the doorframe.
Zuko's hands fidgeted awkwardly at his side as he searched for his words, ignoring the blush that shaded his cheeks as he went. "I was hoping you could help me figure out what to give him for it. As a show of appreciation and all." He finished lamely as he diverted his gaze to the wall and waited for her inevitable answer and the dreaded teasing.
What he got was a bright smile that curled her mouth in a way that only made him regret this for a moment as she nodded. "I can do that." She unfolded her arms and snickered. "Actually I might have the perfect gift in mind for him. Come with me." She took his wrist, startling him out of his embarrassment as she dragged him off with a kindled determination burning in her eyes.
He prayed to Agni that he wasn't going to regret this.
First Li was jumpy and avoided him for days, and now he was off spending most of the day being dragged around the village by Katara. Sokka couldn't wrap his head around this crazy alternate reality he woke up to this morning as the pair chatted quietly in hushed tones and grew silent when he entered the room. Katara would glare or smirk at him while Li just looked oddly uncomfortable to be caught so close to his sister. Gran Gran didn't even appear to notice the strangeness of it all as they ate.
At least Li had his appetite back after the last four days spent picking at his plate with barely any energy or dodging meals altogether by hiding in Hama's hut all day. It hadn't slipped Sokka's notice that the man wasn't sleeping well at all as the shadows of exhaustion hung on him like a storm cloud and filled his eyes with an echo of that lost look that haunted him so often on the ship.
That look was absent now as the soldier flitted about next to Katara, remaining quiet and evasive of any inquiries, letting his sister steer the topic or push back to taunt the warrior when he bristled at the lost attention from his ferret. His mind raced as he wondered what he could have possibly done to warrant this sudden change in allegiance.
It almost felt laughable if he didn't also feel so anxious being cast aside out of the blue. Was there a line he crossed without seeing it? Did he say something wrong to set the soldier off? Was this some one off thing he was missing? It didn't make sense. The harder he thought on it, the more annoyed he felt when he kept coming up with empty hands and a deepening worry that he might have shoved Li away unintentionally.
The last real friendly interaction they had was the day he gave the soldier a haircut and then took him to deliver his letter to the gull house. Nothing really stood out to him during that time other than Li's intense nervousness as he trembled beneath Sokka's diligent hands. He did his best to try and soothe the anxiety that had him so wound up and tried to calm him as much as possible through it. Li seemed happy afterwards once he recovered his composure and didn't look like he was on the verge of fainting right there. Maybe he burned the man out on physical touch? Sometimes Li had those days where he just couldn't be handled at all, while others it seemed like he couldn't get enough.
That at least answered the awkward few days of avoidance, but not why he had allied himself so closely with Katara of all people. If he recalled correctly, those two barely shared more than a few words to each other a week and now his sister was chatting the soldier's ear off and Li was listening intently, hanging on her every word.
She towed him around by the wrist, or gave him gentle shoves ahead of her to steer him out of the room. They disappeared into town more often than not and remained missing for most of the day before reappearing around the dinner table as Katara resumed chatting the soldier's ear off and Li meekly listened with minimal conversation returned.
Thankfully he wasn't the only one to notice, he had discovered the next day as dad stopped by to check in on them. His tired expression was puzzled as he hitched a thumb over his shoulder looking confused at the sight of Katara racing past him with Li tagging close behind.
"Did I miss something?" Dad asked and Sokka couldn't help but throw his hands in the air in relief.
"Thank you! Spirits! I thought I was the only one. That's weird, right? Please tell me you're as weirded out about that as I am!" Sokka pleaded from where he was sitting at the table aggressively sharpening his boomerang before they left. Gran Gran just chuckled and shook her head slowly from where she was knitting on the sofa.
Dad frowned in thought and shrugged whatever it was he came up with, away. "To be honest with you son, Li is a whole bag of weird in a circus act. I'm not really sure what could really be considered normal with that man."
Sokka opened his mouth to protest, stopped, snapped it shut then sighed. "That's fair." It really honestly was. He couldn't refute that with a straight face if he tried, and he was a significantly better liar than Li was. He sagged against the seat and fidgeted with his whetstone, rolling it around in his palm as he considered the weight of it cool against his skin and warmed where he'd been gripping it for the past ten minutes.
"Have you heard back from the other chiefs yet, Koda?" Gran Gran asked, earning a puzzled frown from Sokka when he cocked his head to address the conversation.
The defeated sigh that left his dad's chest had Sokka growing cold with concern. "No, not yet. Perhaps by the end of the week." He offered. "They'd need time to discuss it."
"What's going on, dad?" He interjected.
Gran Gran and Hakoda glanced between each other before the older man turned to take a seat at the table adjacent to Sokka. His entire body seemed to crumple in on itself from the weight of whatever news his father had been carrying.
"The Earth Kingdom isn't going to waste valuable resources to defend the southern trade routes."
"What?" Sokka dropped the whetstone on the table and straightened up, jaw set as outrage bubbled up. "Why? What now?"
"The Council of Five is upset about the prince." Hakoda recalled wearily.
Sokka felt his blood boil as he rose to his feet in a sudden burst of motion. "Seriously? They're still on that yak shit? That wasn't our fault!" He threw his hands in the air and growled. "We didn't even engage the encampment. The Earth Kingdom did!"
"I know." Hakoda agreed. "But the Fire Nation also thinks we're at fault for the Prince's death."
"What?" He stilled. His stomach tightened with a sick knot of realization. "No. Why? How?" This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. If the Fire Nation had their sights set on the Water Tribes and without the trade route to bolster them through the harsh months, the tribe was in danger. The entire south was in danger.
"If the Fire Navy comes here in the summer-"
"I know." Hakoda's expression tightened, something pained and angry that brimmed beneath the surface. His dad was trying to keep calm, to maintain a level head and Sokka felt even angrier for his father because of it. It wasn't their fault. Why were they being blamed?
"I'm waiting for the other chiefs to get back to me. We're going to try to figure this out, maybe appeal to the Council to reinstate the trade agreement."
"Dad, you know they're playing us right?"
"I know, Sokka." His voice sharpened just a touch before he forced it to soften, tiredly. "I know, but what else can we do? We've been backed into a corner on all sides."
Sokka dropped back into his seat, ignoring the way the wood frame groaned under his weight as he glared daggers at the whetstone and imagined giving those Generals a piece of his mind and his fists.
It had been another uneventful day with no news from the other tribes. Hakoda was beyond tired but the work never seemed to end and he had so many duties to attend to around the village on top of managing all of this. Sokka had groaned for the last two days about how Katata and Li were orbiting each other constantly, grumbling bitterly at the loss of his shadow. Hakoda would have worried about the sudden change if he hadn't seen his daughter and the soldier sneaking in and out of Pana's home for the last two days. A quiet inquiry to the elder assured him that it was a secret for Sokka's birthday.
Hakoda felt guilty when he realized he had almost completely forgotten about his son's birthday with everything going on. Counting the days in his head, he was shocked to find it was only a day away. He wasn't too hard pressed about finding a gift, having picked up a nicely made skinning knife from the Earth Kingdom during the early months of their travels. The grip was comfortable to hold and made with a softened durable leather, and the blade itself was sharp and sturdy. It was a quality that other soldiers could attest to, having shown the chief their own blades they kept and carried of a similarly made fashion.
No, he wasn't worried about the gift he would give the man. He only felt regret at having forgotten and found himself failing in being a good father once again. It felt like a constant struggle he was facing since the loss of Kya. She kept them all together, she shared his burdens so easily and managed to weather every storm they faced. His heart ached painfully at her loss, the agony dulled only by the rough edges of time grinding away at him. It took so long for him to open himself back up and let others in, to drag himself out of that icy rut and each winter that followed her loss only seemed to shove him closer and closer to that unpleasant place once more.
His boots ground the snow under every step, making a noisy crunch as the top layer of the damp snow hardened and broke into shards. The paths had been trodded down, leaving broken clumps scattered where children played and raced about when the sun was at its highest. The rays were muted behind the clouds but offered the illusion of something pleasant compared to the windy grey sky that tumbled over them more often than not.
Evening was encroaching when he tipped his head up to face the sky, letting the crisp cold air fill his lungs with every breath as he weaved away from the longhouse. Frowning, he noted a dark shape taking to the sky with large black wings stretched as they soared. The glint of a silvery canister reflected off the creeping sunlight that broke through the clouds and shone upon the large messenger bird.
That was a black winged bird. Far bigger than a regular messenger gull. A bird that only he as the chief ever used for official messages that were sent by route of Kyoshi. They were always directed to pass messages along to General Fong's base. Picking up his pace, he raced towards the Gull house, careful not to slip on the icy patches in the path as he skirted to a stop, slowing when Meriwa stepped outside with a puzzled expression.
"Hey Chief." She greeted him traditionally though with a bit of confusion, brows creased with worry at the bewildered look on his own face. "Something wrong?"
"Did you just send Pon out?" He asked.
"Yes." She confirmed, then frowned deeply. "Did you not want that message sent yet?"
"What? What message?"
Meriwa took a hesitant step back as she searched the snowy paths like she was trying to find the source for that answer and cursed under her breath, turning her attention back to Hakoda. "Li came in to deliver two letters. He had one for Tekkeitsertok's village but both birds were still gone so he just handed me another letter and said it needed to go to Kyoshi. It was addressed to General Fong. I assumed you sent him to deliver it."
Hakoda stared at her with disbelief. It wasn't Meriwa's fault of course, Hakoda knew the soldier had taken up delivering letters for Hama as well and for all he knew, this may have been sent from Kanna instead. He couldn't imagine his mother would send something to the General without addressing it with him first, but perhaps the Elders made a decision and they didn't always need to approve it with him, even if the courtesy would have been appreciated.
"I see." He maintained a level of calm, letting his expression turn contemplative as he offered. "The elders may have sent it ahead instead." It wouldn't be the first time but typically his mother would ask him to deliver something like that regardless of whose decision it was.
There was a pause, as he inspected Meriwa's doubtful look. "How was Li acting when he came in?"
"Cool as a sea prune." She answered. "He was his normal non-talkative self."
"Was Katara or Sokka with him at all?"
"No." She stared him down, despite the clear height difference as she was forced to crane her head, mismatched eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Why?"
"Just wondering."
"I see he's been spending a lot of time with Kat. Is Sock boy jealous about his boyfriend?" She ribbed, a sly attempt to unravel some of the tension. Hakoda snorted at that and shook his head.
"They've been behaving themselves." Hakoda corrected. "You know how Sokka gets when he gets attached to something."
"Oh yeah. I still distinctly remember the summer Katara lost his boomerang for a month straight." Meriwa groaned. "He moped around like someone killed his beloved polar pup."
Hakoda rcalled that particular memory with clarity as well. He and Bato searched the hills for days trying to find the boomerang where Katara swore it had gone when she made the throw. It had not gone where she thought it had, and they had spent a week searching the wrong hill. It was only by dumb luck that Alik and Ikiaq found it while placing snares and harvesting berries.
Politely excusing himself, he let Meriwa finish her closing duties for the night and headed for his mother’s home. Hopefully she could explain a bit as to why Li was in the gull house delivering a black winged message. As he walked the paths, he kept his eyes peeled for the soldier, pondering what exactly it could have been in that message. Li hadn’t shown any signs of distress or anxiety as far as Meriwa knew, but that was a hit or miss game with the soldier. He was both a complex riddle and an open book causing Hakoda to struggle as he navigated the tricky ins and outs of each of their interactions.
When he came to his family home, he almost ran into Sokka as the door burst open and his son stared down at him with confusion. Hakoda was beginning to feel a pattern here today, as he shuffled to the side to let his son pass. Sokka didn’t step out, but backed further into the entryway, allowing him to slip inside and shut the door behind them.
“I take it Li isn’t with you.” Hakoda asked as he searched the room to find Kanna and Katara working in the kitchen, and Sokka standing alone, dressed more heavily for the steadily dropping temperatures outside.
“No, I was actually hoping he was with you.” Sokka answered carefully. Hakoda shot a look towards his daughter who shrugged unhelpfully.
“He was with me at Pana’s and when we left, he went walking off by himself.” She admitted, looking fretful and apologetic. “I thought he would be back by now.”
Sokka made a face at that and frowned in displeasure. “Usually he is. He really doesn’t like the cold like this.” He waved absently at the rack on the wall, pointing out the considerably smaller parka. “He didn’t have his heavy coat with him either.”
His son shifted uneasily, eyeing the door with hopeful eyes. Hakoda picked his words carefully, dragging his gaze to meet his mother’s as she watched him with her own brow knitted with concern. “Meriwa said he was at the Gull house delivering a letter a little bit ago but I missed him.”
Sokka's expression wrinkled with displeasure at the thought, and it certainly wasn’t the birds that caused it. “He’s been writing back and forth with Shin.”
“Anything interesting?” The chief coaxed gently, trying to unravel any pieces of useful information.
Sokka shook his head. “Mostly it's about food. Shin sent him some recipes for how to make certain animals around here taste like common Fire Nation dishes.” He folded his arms over his chest, looking very unhappy about it all.
“Hm.” He glanced towards his mother, hoping she would offer her own perspective, but she looked confused at the hopeful looks he was shooting her way. “Anything else?”
His son tossed his arms into the air dismissively. “Not really.”
“Surely he’ll come back soon.” Kanna interjected, trying to lighten the tension in the room. Of course his children were concerned for Li’s safety in these freezing temperatures, and Hakoda shared their worry, but his thoughts were more pressing on the matter of the letter and the realization that Kanna wasn’t the one that sent the soldier to deliver that message.
“It couldn’t hurt to go look for him.” Sokka argued.
Katara nodded in quiet agreement. “Maybe he’s with Kela or Tonuk? They occasionally rope him into playing pai sho in the longhouse.”
“I just came from there when I went to the gull house but I might have just missed him if he took a different route through the village.” He grunted. “Sokka, maybe you could go check there. I’ll check with Hama.”
Sokka nodded and headed for the door. Hakoda scanned his mother and daughter briefly before offering. “You two stay here in case he comes back."
They nodded before he slipped out the door.
Li wasn’t in the longhouse or Hama’s. Neither Tonuk, Alik or Kela had seen him the whole evening and they’d spent most of it playing that board game as they warmed themselves near the fire. Inuk and Katla hadn’t seen him either when he caught them passing by from visiting their brother’s family and were headed back to their parent’s home.
Hakoda even checked the stables in case the soldier had veered to visit the buffalo yak. The stalls were occupied with the quiet shuffle of hooves as the yak shifted lazily as they bedded down and grazed on the feed from their troughs. Humpy stared hatefully towards him, giving a disrespectful huff before spitting at Hakoda’s feet. He made sure to check every corner for the man but found himself empty handed and forced to avoid camel related projectiles with quick jerks away from the rear of the stalls. Running out of options, he decided to stop by Bato’s to ask for his lover’s help and an additional set of eyes in the chilly night.
Opening the door to his betrothed's home, he was greeted to the smell of warm food and a crackling fire. The heat rushed upon his face, thawing the rosy burn that nipped his nose and cheeks. Shuffling to stomp the snow off his boots, he scanned the room for Bato only to find the man seated at the table across from Li. They were both quiet, sipping from tankards and it appeared they had been waiting for him.
His jaw slackened in disbelief as he stared at the soldier with confusion. Bato looked quietly uncomfortable by the stark silence that always accompanied Li, sharing a relieved smile when the chief entered. “Oh good, you’re back.”
“Li, Sokka’s been looking everywhere for you.” Hakoda spoke dryly, shaking the cold from his shoulders before hanging his coat up on the rack by the door. Li looked a touch sheepish at that revelation and hunched his shoulders awkwardly as he briefly lowered his honeyed gaze to stare into the tankard.
“Can we talk, sir?” He asked, his voice taking on that stiff tone that echoed back to the days on the ship where he wasn’t entirely sure where he stood before them. Bato shared a knowing look with Hakoda as he rose from his seat.
“I’ll go tell Sokka where he’s at before he gets half the village combing through the penguin colony.” He patted Hakoda on the shoulder as he passed to grab his coat and boots. When the door slipped shut and they were alone, Hakoda approached the table and took Bato’s seat, settling into the residual warmth left by his lover. He wondered just how long they had been sitting here, waiting for him to come back. An hour at least, he surmised. Which meant Li probably left the Gull house and came straight here.
“Li.” Hakoda started, relaxing the stiffness of his shoulders despite the way his back tightened with the lingering cold that made him achy from a long day on his feet. It hurt even more seeing the military set to the younger man's shoulders and the ramrod straightness of his back. Li held Hakoda’s gaze with a terrifying intensity, offering him all of his attention lacking the fear he had previously shared in every encounter similar.
He was prepared for this. He knew what his actions would lead to, and Hakoda wasn’t sure whether to be worried or relieved by that level of certainty from the normally skittish man. His voice held firm, carrying the weight of a chief. “Li, what was in that letter you sent today?”
There wasn’t a single twitch of alarm. There was no reflexive urge to shrink back under the seriousness of his tone. Li was unwavering, determined in a way that Hakoda had rarely seen from the man. His jaw was firmly set as his hands gripped the tankard tightly in his grasp, the whitened tips of his knuckles were the only signs of true stress edging along his muscles.
Taking a calming breath, those eyes bore into Hakoda’s as he spoke his next words with conviction. “I am Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation.”
Notes:
So I'm going to take a short break from posting for a little bit. I'm not going to stop writing, just figured I'll take the chance to get a head start on chapters and with how busy my week is about to be, I'm going to need it. So I'll see yall later when I have a stockpile of content waiting to go up.
Thank you all so much for your support so far. It means the world to me. Chained just reached 1k kudos and I'm ecstatic about that especially considering I almost didn't post this fic to begin with. I thought nobody would be interested in a no-bending Viking style AU, and yet here we are. Thank you all so so much!!
And of course I shall give a big thank you to my wifey later for encouraging me to stop being stupid and post the first chapter. ^.^
Have a good Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating it, and a safe week for all the rest who don't.
Chapter 30
Summary:
Hakoda finally gets some answers.
Conflict ensues.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“What?” Hakoda couldn’t believe his ears as he watched the soldier, expecting him to crack and smile, to share the ill timed joke with him, but he remained stoic.
“I am Prince Zuko, son of Prince Ozai and Lady Ursa, nephew of the Dragon of the West, General Iroh and grandson of Fire Lord Azulon.” Li repeated carefully, enunciating the titles in such a formal, extremely Fire Nation introduction. “My mission was to hold the Mountain Pass near Omashu to ensure the Earth Kingdom forces couldn’t use it as a route of travel to advance further, building a distraction from a secondary force that was intending on assaulting the city of Omashu.”
Hakoda was dumbfounded, as Li continued, relaying this information like it was a military report in a war meeting. “The officers under my command were unaware of the fact that I spent the last three months masquerading as a low ranking scout by the name of Li, or that I had been taken into custody by Water Tribe forces during a failed scouting mission.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Hakoda asked, confused as the soldier -the prince if he could believe it - was voluntarily offering this much sensitive information. The stiffness of his posture pained the chief to watch as he held rigid, unmoving, unflinching as he considered Hakoda’s question with minimal change in expression. It felt so unnatural and calculated.
“Because I heard what you told Kanna the other night about the trade route. The Southern Tribes and the surrounding islands rely on that route for survival. The actions of the Council of Five are disgraceful and dishonorable.” Li explained bitterly, the right side of his mouth curved down in a frown, though brief, as he continued.
“Your people have been kind to me. They have shown me so much compassion and I refuse to allow my ‘death’- ” He said it venomously. “-lead to the deaths of your people. I sent a message to General Fong in your name offering to renegotiate the terms of the trade agreement with me as the bargaining chip. If he wants me, the bastard can come get me himself under the sole promise that the Earth Kingdom maintains the trade routes until the end of the war.”
“Li-” Hakoda tried to protest, but the soldier held a hand up to stop him.
“I’m done sitting by and letting people die for me, Chief Hakoda sir. I’ve stood enough vigils to last a thousand lifetimes.” The anguish in his eyes as he spoke those words, the painful honesty that soaked his voice, bordering so close to being so raw and vulnerable before he corrected it. “If it means my execution, then so be it. But I won’t hold another flame for a man that fell for my sake.”
There was a heavy stretch of silence that settled between them, only interrupted by the pops of the fire as it gorged on the fresh logs Bato had fed into it shortly before Hakoda arrived. It crackled and roared, pulsing heat around the room from its center. Drawing in a deep breath, he exhaled calmly. “I understand.”
Li didn’t speak more. He let his eyes sink to stare into his tankard with that white knuckled grasp holding the wood firmly.
“Why did you keep your identity a secret for so long?” He finally dared to ask.
Li shrugged, relaxing a fraction from his hard posture. “I didn’t want Sokka to treat me any differently.”
It was so simple of an answer. “Would you have told him eventually?”
“I don’t know.” Li admitted, and he sounded sincere about that. “I like just being Li. People treat me like a person, not a royal or some broken thing that needs to be fixed. They see me for my skills, not my family.”
Hakoda frowned, having wondered this for a while now. “If you’re the prince of the Fire Nation, how did none of your men recognize you?”
“I was very sickly as a child, then after the fire broke out, many who might have recognized my face from the old portraits no longer could. I didn’t attend court functions, I never went to the balls. I rarely showed my face to my men, and when I did it was in this ridiculous ceremonial armor I was forced to wear. The helmet hides my face well, and few would recognize my voice.” He fidgeted with the tankard in his grasp and rolled it back and forth between his palms just for something to occupy the nervous twitch of his fingers.
“It made being Li so much easier.” Then he frowned. “Lady Ezra recognized me though. I take after my mother quite a bit, and unlike me, she is a well loved fixture in the court functions and the theater community.”
Hakoda made a mental note that he would need to have a discussion with Lady Ezra on this particular bit of information. It was concerning that a Fire Nation prince had been living among them for over a month, when one of their own knew and didn’t say anything about it. He wasn’t quite sure if it would have changed things from how they had gone, but that could have been useful either way, or at least a nice reference for future problems that might rear their head. Like now.
“Please don’t be upset with her for it.” Li added quickly, pleading to Hakoda as their eyes met. “I begged her not to tell anyone. I was afraid of what might happen if anyone else found out.”
“Li, you do understand the gravity of this information, correct?”
“I do.” He withered a little under Hakoda’s stern look. His golden eyes dropped back to the tankard before he pried his hands away from it and folded them around himself defensively. “I considered telling the Elders about it when I first arrived, but I felt like I would be betraying Sokka’s kindness.”
“What do you think would have happened if you told us who you really were?” The chief asked carefully, softening his voice as he teased out an answer. Li looked pensive as he gave a half shrug.
“When I was first captured, it was either execution or imprisonment.” He admitted. “Or being sold into a form of slavery.” The last part was added as an afterthought, before his voice turned tense as he grimaced. “I heard some Earth Kingdom soldiers talking that first day Sokka had taken me. They said the Southern Tribes used prisoners for sex or slave labor.”
Hakoda was disgusted to hear those words coming out of the mouths of their allies but it was an unavoidable issue they often faced when they went to the continent. They were barraged with so many slurs and viciously barbaric accusations for things that went completely against their beliefs and cultural values, that it led to more than a fair amount of brawls between factions. They were forced to walk a fine line in every camp as some of the Earth Kingdom men watched them with disdain while others were afraid of them and their effective combat methods. The Water Tribes had quickly become the stuff of nightmares for the average man as large warriors from a frozen near uninhabitable place that ambushed fleets and convoys like ghosts in the wind. They were fast, silent and efficient. It tended to ruffle more than a few feathers for the disturbingly prideful men of the continent.
“And now?” The tribesman asked cautiously.
“I would do anything to see the safety of your people, sir.” Li fixed his gaze on Hakoda, his words growing in strength with his conviction. “I never meant to hurt Sokka, and I won’t lie to you when I say, I love your son more than this life could possibly contain. But I also know that there is no happiness in a life built on lies.”
“You do understand that you’re going to need to tell Sokka who you are, right?”
Li nodded slowly, swallowing hard as he lowered his eyes to the table and held himself a little tighter, looking uncertain and afraid at the thought. “I know.”
“Why didn’t you come to me before you sent the letter?”
“Because it was my fault and therefore my responsibility to fix it.” The soldier released a shaky exhale.
"You do understand what this means, right? Promising yourself to the Earth Kingdom, what they'll do to you once they have you?"
"I do, sir." He confirmed with that casual acceptance that was steadily becoming infuriating for the chief to hear. It wasn't quite the sound of defeat, but perhaps total resignation and that burned the chief's blood knowing this young man, this young prince was willing to throw himself to the wolves to save the enemy of his country because they had been kind to him.
He couldn't help but recall Sokka's declaration to the Elders about Li's inhuman sense of loyalty and how it was something that was not to be thrown away or squandered. He understood now the full scope of what his son meant. They showed him kindness and compassion, they cared for him like one of their own and he was ready to throw himself to the executioner's block for them in return.
"I've endured worse." He added, jarring the chief from his thoughts as he recoiled at that. The shocked look on Hakoda's face teased a small wiggle of a smile out of the soldier that was almost a smirk but not quite before he shivered and wrapped his arms around himself again.
"We should probably head back to Kanna's." Hakoda offered, gesturing at the door. "Before it gets too late. We can discuss this later."
Li nodded in confirmation, looking relieved for the break as he rose from his seat with uncertainty. Hakoda rose as well, shoving the chair in as they both made their way to the door to collect their boots and coats. The walk back to his mother's house was going to be a strange one. He wasn't entirely certain how to approach this whole situation but he hoped that Li would tell Sokka soon before the Elders are gathered to address what exactly they should do with him and this new development with the Earth Kingdom.
Sokka very nearly bowled Zuko down the moment he entered Kanna's home, dragging the soldier into a hug that was half crushing, half groping his shoulders to check him over for any signs of trouble.
"Tui and La! We were looking everywhere for you!" Sokka blurted, staring down at him with visible relief when Zuko shrugged and nodded towards Hakoda where the chief had shuffled in behind him trying to maneuver the door shut around Sokka's crowding bulk.
"Son, can you wait til we have our coats off first?" He pleaded tiredly, ushering Sokka away with a small shooing motion that had the larger tribesman reluctantly releasing the prince to shuffle away. He leaned against Zuko's bedroom door frame instead and eyed them both suspiciously.
"All that panicking you two did and Li was at Bato's this entire time?" Katara blurted incredulously, giving them both judgmental looks as she set the plates on the table at each seat.
Sokka scowled at his sister and grumbled something under his breath in their native tongue.
"Sokka!" Hakoda admonished abruptly, causing the warrior to flinch instinctively at being caught. He set his shoulders firmly, straightening his stance as he watched Zuko like an eagle hawk. Once he had shed his cold gear, the warrior had him by the wrist as he tugged him closer, slipping a familiarly possessive arm around Zuko. It was a feeling the prince had missed these last few days as he melted against Sokka's side with a contented sigh, before flushing bright red when he heard the snicker from Katara and noted the way Hakoda and Bato were watching him respectively. Hakoda for an entirely different reason than his counterpart, but Sokka was shooting looks at each of them daring someone to say something about it.
It felt like being loomed over by an overprotective platypus bear, which wasn't really a bad thing when said platypus bear was warm and made him feel safe under strong arms. He eased easily into Sokka's hold as he massaged his fingers through Zuko's shaggy hair, toying with the soft strands between them that had his heart fluttering in his chest and his skin prickling with pleasant little shocks that tingled in an entirely welcome way.
The chief joined Bato on the sofa as they flopped down together with just as much comfort as he and Sokka often did, and groaned softly.
"Just one quiet uneventful day is all I ask of the spirits please." Hakoda begged dramatically. Bato chuckled, as he looped an arm around the chief and assumed a similar posture that Sokka had, running his fingers along the beaded betrothal band on the chief's arm.
"You might be asking too much for that, Koda." Bato teased. Katara and Sokka both snorted in amusement. Kanna shared a wry smile as she watched them all from the kitchen.
Zuko was going to miss this, no matter what comes next. He wanted to savor it all, to drink in every detail before it slips through his fingers one final time. He wanted to memorize every inch of Sokka's body against his, the feel, the shape, the warmth. He wanted to remember the laughter and smiles, the smell of good food made by loving skilled hands. He never wanted to forget what a sense of family felt like and hold it firmly in his heart.
When dinner was ready, they crowded around the table and filled their plates with food. The men all ate like they were starved dogs, hardly lifting their heads to even entertain the thought of conversation until they were through their first helpings. Only then did Katara broach the topic she'd been chewing on for most of the meal.
"So what was so important that you had to talk to dad and scare everyone like that?"
Hakoda stiffened a little as Bato glanced quietly between Zuko and the chief. Sokka looked conflicted between being annoyed at his sister's nosey nature and being curious himself. Kanna was as passive as ever as they waited for an answer or a dismissal. Zuko's eyes met the chief's as he considered how he was going to address this. The prince tried to keep a casualness about him as he nodded his approval for the chief to handle it. As far as he was concerned, this just may be the easiest way to get it out there for all of them at once.
The chief straightened up as he spoke. "Li has informed me that he is Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation." There was a clatter of silverware as Sokka dropped the spoon from his hand and it fumbled onto his plate noisily. Blue eyes dropped to stare down at the prince who met it with an awkward smile.
Sokka's jaw gaped as Katara blurted. "What? How?" Then added, suspiciously. "You don't act very princely."
Easily, he turned his attention to greet the woman as he kept his voice even and easy going, even if a nervous jitter threatened to settle in the pit of his gut. "Eight years in the military tends to do that."
Zuko's attention snapped back towards Sokka as the warrior shoved himself out of his seat in an abrupt motion, and briskly walked away from the table. He didn't speak another word as he went into his room and closed the curtain behind himself. The prince's passive expression cracked as his shoulders deflated, sagging him back into the chair as he stared at the empty seat beside him. His throat felt suddenly tight, his mouth dry as a knot tangled up in his stomach. Sokka was mad at him, and it hurt more than the prospect of what Fong was going to do to him.
He didn't expect Sokka to take the news well, but he hadn't anticipated it to be like this. The whole table was silent as they watched him closely. His casually made armor peeled back to expose him like a raw nerve now, but he couldn't evade this topic any longer, so he forced himself to straighten up and address the rest of the table.
"So you're the prince the Earth Kingdom was after in the pass?" Bato asked carefully.
"Yes." Zuko's voice rasped painfully in his throat before he cleared it and took a drink from his tankard. The sweet fluid was sour on his tongue now, making his stomach protest anything being added to it.
"What were you doing in a scouting party?" Bato asked incredulously.
"I get bored." Zuko blanched.
"You get...bored?"
"What?" Katara asked, puzzled.
"I'm technically not supposed to lead any missions due to my rank. I stay behind my men and command in a stupid tent." He didn't sugar coat the disdain he held for that rule. "Personally, I think that's a heap of komodo rhino shit and prefer to fight alongside my men by pretending I'm a low ranking soldier named Li."
"We almost killed you!" Bato made a strangled noise of realization. "If that other soldier hadn't ordered you to surrender-"
"I am aware." Zuko answered pointedly. "I was prepared to die for my men. I was prepared to die in that pass that entire six months. In fact, I've been prepared to die my whole life. Sort of loses its daunting presence when you see spirits creeping at every corner and everyone has a funeral waiting in the next room for you."
"What?" Katara's voice got a lot squeakier as she gasped. "What is wrong with you? How can you be so casual about that?"
Zuko shrugged dismissively and fidgeted the tankard in his grasp. Kanna interrupted whatever else her granddaughter was going to ask. "We'll need to gather the elders for a meeting first thing tomorrow."
"I know." Hakoda sighed. "We have a lot to discuss." The whole table nodded in agreement at that. Zuko just stared down at his drink and wondered how Sokka was going to take it all tomorrow. He couldn't stand the thought of the warrior being mad at him like that, and it was understandable that he would need some time to let the news sink in but things were about to get a lot worse and Zuko was afraid that Sokka would only get more hurt by it.
Sokka had sat on the edge of his bed and listened as everyone talked amongst themselves. Li, no- Zuko spoke so casually about everything. Like it wasn't that big of a deal when he's spent months keeping this hidden with painful tenacity. It's been eating the soldier up inside and now it was out in the open, and Sokka was angry about it.
He was angry because he didn't think to tell Sokka about this first, that maybe they could have spoken to Hakoda together. Of course his dad was chief and Zuko was a prince which made it feel like there was no room for Sokka in that equation. Sokka wasn't anything important. He was just the guy with the boomerang.
Spirits! Had Zuko been planning this for a while? Is that why he had taken to avoiding Sokka so suddenly? He was just putting distance between them, right, because he's a prince and now if everyone knows he's a prince, he couldn't have someone like Sokka hanging all over him. It wasn't fit for royalty.
For La's sake, he could have just told Sokka. He would have understood. It would suck not being able to be close like they had been before, like it should really matter at all to begin with, but he could have dealt with that. Zuko had his role to fill and Sokka was just stuck in the background as all the big decisions are being made without him.
It was stupid and childish and selfish but Sokka couldn't help but want to be selfish when it felt like he had so little he could hold tight to and keep close. He thought Zuko could be one of those things, something Sokka could hold onto but now he knew it would have never worked out. Zuko was a prince and when spring came, he would have to return to his nation.
Sokka couldn't dismiss the sick feeling in his stomach even after the house had gone quiet and everyone else had headed off to bed. He laid under the furs and stared up at the ceiling and quietly cursed the long night and its achingly slow descent towards dawn. He prayed to Tui for a reprieve from his circling thoughts and the growing anger and discomfort he felt about it all. He ignored the press of tears that burned in his eyes and buried his face into his pillow to smother them as his chest ached and his shoulders quietly shook.
When morning finally came, Gran Gran was already gone. Nobody had the desire to really eat so they just sat quietly in their rooms waiting for dad to collect him and Zuko for the meeting. Sokka may not be anyone of real political importance but Zuko was still his responsibility until spring which meant it was tribe law that he attend any hearing regarding his war prize aside from the introductory one when they first arrived. Zuko may be a prince but Water Tribe law trumps that until winter's end. It felt petty but Sokka held tight to the satisfaction that that particular role granted him.
When Hakoda came for them both, neither of them spoke to one another. Sokka noticed the way Zuko's eye kept shooting glances in his direction, fleeting little glimpses before his shoulders would sag in defeat and tired gold eyes would fix on the snowy path they walked. He was bundled up tight, with his arms stuffed defensively around himself as much as his parka would allow and maintained even stride with Sokka even if it meant he had to speed up at an uncomfortable pace to match his long legs.
The braziers were lit outside of the doors signifying an important meeting was going on inside. Hakoda held the door open and ushered them both in to find the elders seated at a table inside. The fires crackled, warding off the early morning chill that crept in during the night. Zuko slowed his steps, looking pale and uncertain before taking a deep breath to calm himself. The instinctive part of Sokka wanted to reach out and tuck him against his side protectively, to comfort the smaller man and remind everyone in the room that he was Sokka's.
The rational petty part knew he couldn't because this wasn't Li the soldier , this was now Zuko the prince and he had to stand before the council like a prince. He had to face the consequences of his actions. Sokka couldn't protect him from that, and bitterly, the warrior didn't want to because Zuko had been so quick to shove him away so now he was going to let him stand by himself against whatever would come. Even if it hurt a bit for Sokka to watch him step into that imaginary armor that disturbed the warrior so often on the ship. Like he was forcing himself to assume a role he didn't want to be a part of, but had no choice regardless.
Sokka, Zuko and Hakoda stood before the elders as his dad gestured to the prince and spoke. "May I reintroduce Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation."
Kaluk made a derisive noise in his throat as Zuko gave a very formal Fire Nation bow to the elders. When he straightened up, he had the voice of a man accustomed to facing dignitaries or leading in war meetings. It was firm and stiff but held enough of an edge to be commanding by drawing their attention without the necessity for volume. "I sincerely apologize for the deception, I meant no disrespect or ill will to you or your people."
Pana gave the prince a comforting smile, as Kodiak offered a small nod of understanding. Ikiaq was as stoic as stone and Gran Gran watched the three with an impassive observance.
Hakoda stepped closer to the table as he proceeded with the meeting, beginning to explain. "Before we get too deep into this, I would like to catch you all up on our current situation of the South as a whole which led to Prince Zuko's admission of his real identity."
Kaluk narrowed his eyes suspiciously, and Sokka shared a similar look as he wondered where exactly this was going. Hakoda made quick work of the overall report on how the situation with the Earth Kingdom had been going when they left, and how the Council of Five had withdrawn from the trade agreement. How the Fire Nation was convinced the southern tribes were at fault for the death of their prince, and the impending problems that were about to come to their doorstep come spring when the ice thaws.
"And where does Prince Zuko fit in all this?" Kodiak asked when Hakoda finished the explanation.
His dad looked conflicted for a moment, trying to find his words to explain. Zuko took a step forward and spoke up instead. "I had accidentally overheard the problem the Southern Tribes faced and realized that the center of these issues revolved around my supposed death. Without Chief Hakoda's knowledge, I sent a message in his name to General Fong requesting a renegotiation of the trade agreement using myself as a bargaining chip."
"What?" Sokka hadn't even realized the word left his lips until it was ringing in his ears. The warrior felt his heart sink into his stomach in a sudden drop that made him feel dizzy. Anger burned hot as everything started to click, demanding in barely contained outrage. "Do you even realize what you just promised?"
Zuko didn't even turn to face him. His eyes remained forward, fixed on the council as he stood rigid. His shoulders were taut under the thick layers of his winter gear, but Sokka was more than familiar with the way the smaller man's body moved, aware of every flinch, twitch and that tense set of his jaw when he was trying to maintain his composure and keep from falling apart. The way he always seemed to balance on the cusp of locking up in silence altogether.
"I do. This was my decision to make." Zuko answered in that cold neutral tone that set Sokka off kilter. It made him want to reach out, grab the prince by the shoulders and shake some spirits damned sense into him.
"Yak shit." Sokka hissed. "This decision affects the entire tribe! You are my responsibility until spring, remember? That means you're the tribe's responsibility."
"I understand that, Sokka." This time he did turn to face the warrior, and it felt unsettling seeing those molten gold eyes leveled defiantly at him in such a calculating way. It wasn't like any of their past encounters and Sokka felt sick with all the emotions rolled up inside of him like a tangled nest of prickle snakes. "Fong won't be able to reach the village until spring anyway, and my time here, regardless of my personal feelings on the matter, will be over."
"So you're just going to hand yourself over to that wackjob to be his new shiny red toy to torture?" The warrior scoffed.
"Sokka!" Hakoda growled in warning, but Zuko wasn't budging and neither was Sokka. Their eyes met in a stare down, as the prince considered him.
"I would have thought you of all people would understand why I'm doing this." It came out bitter.
"What?" Sokka huffed in disbelief. "You're volunteering for your own execution."
"I'm doing this for you!" For the first time in a long time, Zuko raised his voice at Sokka in a snarl that could have chilled his blood.
The warrior was taken aback by that, forcing him to do a double take. "What?"
His voice lowered, harsh and raspier than before. "I'm doing this for you, Sokka." He tore his eyes away but Sokka couldn't stop staring at him. Mouth gaped in shock, he watched the way the muscle in Zuko's neck pulsed and the tight set to his jaw. He looked pale and fragile and so fucking small as he tried to stand his ground before this monumental mess they were facing. "If the Fire Nation wants to blame someone for my death, I'd rather it be Fong and the Council of Five, than you."
"Zuko-" Sokka started but Kaluk interrupted with a rude sneer.
"At least the man has some decent sense about him. If the Council of Five agrees, the trade route is secure, he will no longer be in the South and the Earth Kingdom will take the fall. Every single one of our problems are solved in one go." He waved a hand absently, gesticulating the ease of it all. It made Sokka's blood boil as he watched the others consider this with sincerity.
"It is his decision when spring comes." Kodiak pointed out, looking at least a touch unhappy with the whole thing. "We can't force him to stay, and as a Prince of the Fire Nation, he does have a right to negotiate his own terms of imprisonment during a time of war."
"But those terms would have to go through Sokka until then, and be approved by him. Prince Zuko, despite his royal status in his nation, is still a war prize in our custody." Pana reminded the collective.
Gran Gran nodded in agreement, adding her own thoughts to the mix. "Prince Zuko's well being is Sokka's responsibility. If he finds the terms of agreement lacking, he can decline them."
Zuko looked shocked, gasping. "What?"
Sokka nodded firmly, letting a small twist of satisfaction curl his mouth as he spoke. "As far as I'm concerned, General Fong can shove his terms up his ass, bird and all. I'm not letting him anywhere near Zuko. I'm more than aware of what his people do to Fire Nation soldiers."
"Sokka!" Zuko turned on him with a venomous hiss. "What are you doing?"
He lowered his voice, letting his words snap in the air between them. "My job as your caretaker."
"This is ridiculous. If the Fire Nation comes here, your fleet won't stand a chance. You do not want the Dragon of the West on your shores, believe me!" Zuko snapped back angrily, his scowl pinched the scar tight making his bad eye seem to squint worse than before. The whole expression looked like it pained him as he gritted his teeth.
"We'll deal with it when the time comes." Sokka grimaced, turning his attention towards the council.
"No, you are not going to ignore this. Sokka." Zuko reached up to grab the sleeve of his bicep to tug his attention back but Sokka was ignoring his demands, focusing his attention back on the council. Zuko gave up and let go of him, turning away to scowl daggers at the warrior while the elders talked amongst themselves. The general consensus was for the plan of sending Prince Zuko along as a bargaining chip, which sent a ripple of displeasure through the warrior. Kodiak and Hakoda both offered options for more trustworthy Generals that could take Zuko into custody that wouldn't be Fong, which were a bold attempt to convince Sokka to let Zuko go as a war prisoner.
Sokka withheld any agreement made until he saw written proof of the terms. He had no real intention of ever actually agreeing and Zuko must have realized as he glared harder and harder at the warrior until he gave up glaring and had taken up the game of looking everywhere but at Sokka. It was clear that Zuko resented him for his stubborn refusal but Sokka would accept that hate and deal with it later, along with all the other festering emotions squirming around inside him making him feel guilty and nauseous, on top of unashamedly angry.
This stupid foolish self sacrificing idiot of a man never could just accept it and take the easy way. Everything always had to be harder and more painful for Zuko, and that was a revelation that Sokka realized and was faced with time and time again. If the Prince wasn't going to defend himself and his freedom, then Sokka was going to do it in his stead until he finally learned an ounce of common sense and stopped this self-inflicted madness. He didn't care if that made him the bad guy in the end of all this. If it meant Sokka has to fight the Council of Five himself, then so be it. His war club was feeling a little thirsty for more.
The meeting ended with the agreement that Zuko's identity will remain a secret. He'll continue to be referred to as Li the scout while Hakoda and Sokka handle the negotiations despite Zuko's feelings on the matter. The prince was reminded once more that freedom and privacy were not one in the same, and he was forced to submit to the whims of what his caretaker deemed best suited for him. It didn't stop him from glaring unhappily at Hakoda or completely avoiding Sokka altogether.
When they left the longhouse, Zuko stalked ahead of the two men and made his way back to Kanna's, stomping his boots far harder than necessary the whole way. Once inside, he quickly shed his cold gear and slipped into his room before the rest could catch up, closing his curtain behind himself before Katara could even ask how things went.
Sokka must have done the same judging by the sound of his heavy footsteps storming towards his own side of the house. As far as Zuko was concerned, he was perfectly content with Sokka staying there for the rest of the winter. If he had to spend another minute with the warrior as he was now, they were most definitely going to come to blows, and Zuko was going to show him what a real fight felt like.
He threw himself into his bed and tugged the blankets over himself, stewing grumpy with his thoughts until he felt like he might burst any minute. Hakoda didn't bother to talk to him, or even seem to try with Sokka judging by the quiet indecisive steps that hovered in the next room, before he sank onto the couch and explained how it all went to Katara.
He heard a frustrated huff from the woman as they spoke in their native tongue. "Sokka's right."
"But so is Li." Hakoda explained. "Li has the tribe's safety in his heart and that's something we can't turn a blind eye to."
Katara's volume lifted a fraction as she interjected. "But Sokka is Li's caretaker and we take care of our own. Li is just as much a part of us as- well, you know!"
"I know." The chief spoke softly, understandably. Zuko had to strain his good ear to listen. "Sokka is standing up for our beliefs as a tribe and a community. While Li is standing up for us as a loyal ally in a time of war. His choice is something that can save the whole south, not just our village but everyone that relies on that trade route for survival."
Katara made an unhappy sound at that. "It's a double edged sword, Katara. These choices aren't easy. If we fight for Li, we risk losing hundreds of lives against starvation and war. If Li goes to the Earth Kingdom, he may suffer but he may also be key to convincing the Fire Nation to stop the war. A trade of peace for a prince."
"Do you really think General Fong will go for that?" She asked bitterly.
"Fong? No. Probably not." The chief scoffed. "But General How and the rest of the Council of Five along with Kings' Bumi and Kuei may see reason and agree to these terms." Hakoda sighed tiredly. "We have a few months to negotiate for the best course of action for Li and make a final decision."
"I really don't like this. He's not some pawn to be traded, dad." Her voice was quiet, laced with disgust. "He's a human being that deserves better than this."
"I agree." Hakoda hummed. "That's why we're not giving up and we'll pray to the spirits for a miracle."
"I don't think the spirits have been listening to our prayers all that much lately." She grumbled.
"Maybe we'll just have to be louder about it." The light joke cracked the stomach churning tension, easing a tiny smile on Zuko's lips as the chief's words reminded him of Uncle Iroh's good natured optimism. In a way, he understood Sokka's apprehension to let him go to Fong, but at the end of the day, it was Zuko's decision. Whether Sokka agrees or not, even if it means the first ship the prince takes is directly to Fong's fortress to turn himself in on his doorstep, then so be it. He had hoped that at least with the winter ahead of them, they could negotiate a better agreement for the Water Tribe's sake.
He worried his lip between his teeth as he considered this problem. If Sokka isn't going to see sense in this, he could always force the elders to take that right from him. As a war prize, he still retained the right to request a change in caretaker if he felt that his caretaker wasn't fulfilling his needs appropriately. If Sokka refused to listen to Zuko's reasoning, then he could always change caretakers at least until the agreement is finalized. It would hurt, and he didn't want to do that in the face of everything Sokka had done for him but Zuko had a responsibility and his current caretaker was standing in the way of it.
The rest of the day was quiet as Sokka settled in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. His thoughts kept dancing dizzily around Zuko despite his best efforts to distract himself. The smaller man looked so angry and disappointed in him, and it hurt a lot. Sokka couldn't ignore the way it made him ache with a twinge of regret. His head swirled with thoughts of sitting the prince down and having a talk with him, but each time the desire crept up his spine, he smothered it with the reminder that it wasn't like it was going to be on the ship. That easy going openness they had fostered meant very little now when Zuko clearly didn't trust him enough to come to the warrior first. It spurred a spark of anger that burned hot in his stomach until he felt nauseous and even more restless than before.
Forcing himself to his feet in a burst of movement, he found his boots and coat, slowing his steps when he passed Zuko's room. He paused, contemplating whether or not he should check on the soldier before squashing the concern and heading outside instead. He needed to walk and burn off some of the cobwebs of conflicting emotions that had him feeling fuzzy and out of sorts.
The cold air filled Sokka’s lungs with every breath, providing a familiar and very welcome burn as he charged along the paths and listened to the busy footsteps of children racing about in the snow. He followed the winding paths that carved through the snow, noting how the sun was starting to burn some of it away, making it damp and malleable again. Some of the children built mini snow people out of the useful portions, while others were adding height and details to their forts before they dwindled to shapeless humps. The sun felt nice beating down on his shoulders, though muted at times with the drifting clouds overhead, it was a well reprieve after the bitter few days he’s had.
Sokka wandered for the better part of half an hour, spending time in the stables where he spied Bato feeding Humpy a bucket of grain. Some of the older tribesmen were bustling around tending to their Buffalo Yaks, combing out their coats and trimming their hooves. One yak in particular was being bribed in the corner where it’s owner was shearing the wool away and replacing it with a wool yak blanket that strapped around the animal’s naked torso. It always seemed funny to Sokka whenever he saw the wool Yak blankets, despite understanding the purpose, it never failed to pull his lip into the barest twitch of a smile.
He helped sweep the floors and break the ice in the water buckets, refilling it with hot water brought from the longhouse where it was being boiled. He took two of the empty buckets and headed up to the building to retrieve more, slipping inside when Alik held the door open for him.
“Oooh!” Inuk’s voice rose to his ears with the slap of something heavy hitting the ground. His sympathetic groan drew Sokka’s attention to the small huddle of tribesmen gathered around in the corner of the hall. It was the area where he and Zuko had cleared the tables for exercises away from the cold chill outside. It amused him that others were also utilizing the space for similar reasons. Setting the buckets near the fire while he waited for the water to finish boiling, he crept along the stretch of tables, coming up behind where Alik had taken watch to peer at who was getting their ass handed to them today. His bet was on Tonuk, since Kela was in the line up observing.
The tribesman wasn’t surprised to find that he wasn’t wrong, as Tonuk laid sprawled across the ground, groaning pathetically as he finally caught his breath. All the air had left his lungs in one swift move. The victor straightened up, turning a calculating golden eye on Sokka. It turned cold as he glared and drew his gaze away to face the laughing group of tribesmen who were each itching for an opportunity to fight the prince.
Sokka felt his stomach tighten as Zuko turned his back on him to fight his next opponent. Kela, jeering at his companion as he crawled out of the way to a bench to recuperate, stepped in, shedding his parka as he flexed his shoulders and raised his fists. Zuko was a living weapon, every muscle coiled and prepared, striking quick and precise as he maneuvered flawlessly around the sloppier attacks of his opponents. Every step was calculated. Every hit was placed to stun or distract. Every throw held power behind it as he slammed body after body into the padded floor and watched his foes struggle to get back on their feet.
The warrior watched every lunge and spring, the tightly wound kicks that put distance between attacks. The swift and agile steps to avoid punches and strikes. Every opponent that stepped into the mock ring was prepared to give it their all as Zuko proved to be harder to catch than a mink in the grass. After some goading from Kela, Alik gave the fight a chance, stepping up to the challenge. He was tall and strong, a nice middle ground between Sokka and Tekkeitsertok.
They squared up for the fight, and Alik had shown he had learned a few things from watching Zuko’s past few fights. He read every move the soldier made and deflected the strikes instead of evading them. He capitalized on his strength in absorbing blows before shoving outwards, catching Zuko off guard when he rose to kick. Alik was forced to take the hit to the side as his palm caught the prince’s jaw. Zuko lost his balance from the force, overbalancing his stance causing him to fall. He hit his back hard with a groan and swept his legs out at Alik in a circular motion, throwing his weight to his shoulders as a point of pivot, taking the other tribesman down with him. He was quick to rise back up to his feet, presenting himself as ready.
Sokka’s eyes widened at the blood that dripped from Zuko’s bottom lip. The pink skin was split as a line of red dripped down his chin. He licked out at the wound without so much as blinking at its presence. The whole room went quiet as eyes shot towards Sokka. The men were tense and wary. Alik’s eyes widened in surprise when he noticed the wound he inflicted on the smaller man, shooting him an apologetic look.
“Li.” Sokka called to him, straightening himself up as he stepped into the ring. Zuko refused to look at him for the first few seconds, breathing a little harder than he was earlier. The blood on his chin made the right side of his face look stark white in its pallor. His good eye was terrifyingly focused in a way Sokka hadn’t seen since their fight on the beach back in the Earth Kingdom port. Zuko was ready for a fight, one way or another. This little stint of sparring was hardly taking the edge off and Sokka had a feeling it was him he wanted to inflict a similar pain upon.
“Li.” The warrior repeated his name more firmly, demanding his attention. “That’s enough. You need to see Hama.”
Zuko reared on him, jaw clenched tight as he glared harder than ever before. “No.”
“This isn’t up for debate.” Sokka stated firmly.
“Really? Since when is anything ever up for debate Sokka?” He spat viciously.
Sokka was keenly aware of the eyes on them right now and the uncomfortable realization of how exactly this looks. He kept his voice calm, taking a deep breath as he spoke with no room for denial in his tone. “We’re not having this conversation right now. You need to see Hama.”
“I can take care of it myself.” He hissed, and turned away from the warrior, giving the other tribesmen warning looks. He was looking to continue but the collective took a step back, aware of the dispute and heeding the code of not getting involved. This small display only seemed to rile Zuko up even more as he turned on the warrior and growled. “I’m getting really sick of this game, you know that?”
“I’m not going to ignore your self-destructive tendencies, Li.” He held his hand out to grab Zuko’s shoulder but the man stepped away and snarled.
“My self-destructive tendencies?” Molten eyes burned into him as he stood his ground, fingers curled into tight fists as he scoffed. “You want to see my self-destructive tendencies, Sokka?”
“ Li. ” Sokka warned.
“I think it’s about time for that rematch.” He lowered his voice, letting every word slice into the warrior like an icy blade, digging deeper and deeper as he went. “Stop hiding behind your fucking rules like a coward and fight me, Sokka. I challenge you to an Agni Kai.”
Notes:
I hope you guys are prepared, there is only going to be pain and suffering from this point on for a while. It's going to hurt, a lot before it finally gets better.
In the meantime, if you want some pleasant relief from the Seven Levels of Angst hell coming up, I have posted the Chained:Outtakes as part of the Chained series. So scoot on over and check those out if you haven't yet. They're a series of oneshots and alternative scenes that I couldn't put into the Chained main story so I'm stuffing them into an Outtakes collection.
Chapter Text
Two council meetings in one day. Hakoda believed that may be a new record for them as the elders were gathered to the private meeting chamber to address whether or not Prince Zuko's challenge of an Agni Kai was feasible. Kodiak brought Lady Ezra along to explain to the collective what exactly an Agni Kai really is.
"In the Fire Nation, it's an important duel between two people. It's typically fought to the death, but it's also not uncommon for the fight to end when another opponent yields defeat." She began with all the elegance and poise of a noblewoman. The prince stood before the group with a swollen bloody lip that he was currently icing with a fistful of snow compliments of Hama. Yet, he somehow managed to retain his own composure with that stiff backed posture that Hakoda had grown painfully accustomed to by now.
"It is a fight for the honor of the participants, their status, their families and their descendants, among other things." After a pause, she allowed the words to sink in before adding. "To decline an Agni Kai challenge, or deny one from happening would be an act of disgrace and great shame."
Kanna pursed her lips in thought. Kodiak looked pensive as he inquired. "Prince Zuko is a war prize and not a citizen of our tribes yet."
"In the Fire Nation, even prisoners of war can challenge an Agni Kai." Lady Ezra added politely. "No matter their place of birth or social standing."
"I understand that, milady." Hakoda interjected calmly. "But Prince Zuko is under Sokka's care. As his caretaker, Sokka is unable to bring any harm to his prize, even in something like this. It goes against our rules."
Sokka stood beside his father, looking upset by this turn of events. He was tensely wound and shifting restlessly, his gaze flitting towards the prince then back towards the elders with nervous anticipation.
Prince Zuko was calm as he interrupted, speaking firmly. "Then I demand a change in caretaker."
His son turned towards the prince in alarm, face paled by those words. "What? Zuko-"
But whatever pleas Sokka was going to attempt was silenced by the prince's interruption. "I don't care who it is. It could even be Hama for all I care."
Pana nodded her understanding. "That would first need to be discussed with Hama."
After a moment, Kanna spoke up. "If this Agni Kai is agreed upon, what exactly would the goal of this duel be?"
The prince shared a brief glance to inspect Sokka. Hakoda didn't miss the glare he shot at the tribesman when their eyes met before tearing his attention away to focus on the council. "Equal standing and say in the future negotiations involving myself and the trade with the Earth Kingdom. I want my voice to be heard as I represent myself as a Prince of the Fire Nation, provided the same respect as any foreign dignitary."
"That can be accommodated." Kanna nodded sagely, before turning her attention to her grandson. Sokka looked pained, like his whole world was crumbling in around him. His eyes were filled with grief as he watched the prince mournfully. "And Sokka," his head snapped up at the sound of his name, shaking him out of his thoughts. He looked devastated by everything going on, and Hakoda couldn't blame him for it. This has never happened before in their tribes. "Should you win the Agni Kai, what would your request be?"
He opened his mouth to speak, but his words failed him at first. Snapping his jaw shut, he cleared his throat and shook the thoughts away that made him look so haunted, before addressing the question. His voice sounded so defeated already. "If I win, then Prince Zuko needs to submit to the options chosen in favor of what is best for him, without resistance. He needs to listen to all avenues before a decision is agreed upon."
The Prince was glaring daggers at Sokka, but the young warrior didn't dare drag his attention away to meet them. He looked like he was barely holding himself together as is. It was agonizing for Hakoda, to watch his son struggle amidst all of this chaos and be unable to offer any real help on the subject. Being forced to stand on the sidelines as a bystander was heartbreaking as he watched the young man fall apart inside himself.
The line of questioning came down to the specifics of such a duel. Weapons were agreed upon, and the end result came when the first person yielded or was incapacitated by their opponent. Pana offered to delay the Agni Kai until the next day given the steadily inching hours to sunset, but both Prince Zuko and Lady Ezra explained that it was considered rude to put off a duel like this while daylight remained. It implied cowardice.
After the council discussed the situation, Hama made the agreement to become Prince Zuko's new caretaker given that he was already studying under her as an apprentice. Without the laws of caretaker standing in the way, the Agni Kai was approved. Both men had an hour to prepare themselves for battle.
At the end of the hour, the entire village had gathered to watch. In the heart of their home was a clearing from high traffic passing through. It presented a big enough space for such a duel, allowing for plenty of maneuverability and lacked the obstacles of deeper snow that could obstruct either fighter. To Hakoda’s relief, it was just down the path from the healer’s hut, securing quick medical treatment for any injuries.
Bato stood beside Hakoda, one hand resting on his shoulder to comfort his worries. The chief clutched it tightly in his grasp, watching with jaw clenched and eyes that searched the crowd for any sign of his son and Li. Hama was standing near Kanna and Ikiaq talking quietly to each other. Kodiak was beside his wife, as Lady Ezra stood poised in noble red finery the likes that Hakoda hadn’t seen since her wedding to the tribesman. It was a long red gown with gold embellishments and long sleeves that were delicately embroidered. Her hair was tied in a traditional Fire Nation style and she wore a red choker around her throat. A special sash was tied around the waist that he had come to discover was a sign of military service for the women in their nation, marked with her merits of honor during service. She stood at attention, amber eyes focused on the mock arena as she waited patiently for the prince to arrive.
Tonuk, Alik and Kela waited nervously, scanning the crowd for the two men. A low murmur quieted when someone declared loudly. “Here they come!”
Hakoda tensed as he searched the crowd that parted to let them pass. Prince Zuko was first, moving into the arena alone with his broadswords on his back and the black summer clothes that Sokka had purchased for him so many months ago. He wore nothing to protect himself from battle or the cold, stepping into the circle and approaching the end closest to Lady Ezra. His eyes blazed with a terrifying determination as he focused on the warrior’s approach. Sokka breached the crowd with Katara by his side.
His son was dressed in the dark blue garments they went to war in, more padded with layers for stealth missions but light enough to move quickly. His face was painted with the wolf’s colors, his helmet planted firmly giving his eyes an eerie quality against the blacks and greys that shrouded his hard features. His shoulders were set as he carried his shield and his war club like a great burden. There was no pride to be had, there was no pleasure in any victory today. Sokka looked like a man stepping into a fight he had already lost. It pained Hakoda to watch as both men turned their backs to one another and knelt. Kanna spoke a prayer, honoring the spirits who look over these two warriors.
Lady Ezra gave a similar prayer in Fire Nation, honoring Agni in which the duel will be fought under the spirit’s watchful gaze. When the Fire Nation prayer was finished, both men rose to their feet and drew their weapons.
Hakoda couldn’t help but feel a tightness in his chest as they approached one another with an intensity that could make a glacier envious. The entire crowd was silent. The soft crunch of boots on snow edged up the anticipation before the first strike came. Sokka shuffled forward to greet the prince trying to force a flinch response but the prince was precise in his movements as he held his swords firmly, side stepping the shield, parrying it with one blade as the other struck at Sokka’s exposed shoulder. Sokka met it with his club, deflecting the blow and charging his shield into the soldier’s stance.
He was trying to force Zuko’s root to give, but the prince was stubborn, moving swift and light even in the snowy terrain. He displayed the same grace and poise that Hakoda and his son had witnessed upon that early dawn when the soldier thought he was alone. Deft hands twirled the blades making them sing as he moved in fluid motion, parrying club swings as well as Sokka was deflecting strikes with his shield. They charged into each other then backed away, circling on the edges of the ring before crashing back together.
Zuko struck him with the pommel of his sword, rising quickly as he closed into Sokka’s space. Sokka’s shield was useless to defend as the soldier slammed his arm away. His club swung down as Sokka shuffled back to get some space but Prince Zuko was relentless, closing the gap. He raised his right arm to defend against the club swipe but Sokka overextended. The ball connected with Zuko’s rib cage with a sickening wet thunk that made the warrior freeze up. Prince Zuko was swept off of his feet and sent sprawling into the snow.
Hakoda felt like he might throw up, and judging by the way Sokka locked up, jaw gaped in horror, he may as well. To their shock and amazement, the prince rolled out the momentum before rising back up into a shaky crouch. He grimaced, glaring hard at the warrior before springing back to his feet. Sokka was taken off guard as Zuko slashed his blade at his arm, knocking the shield from his grasp. His son barely managed to get his club up in time to deflect the blow. The shield hit the ground, getting kicked away from Sokka’s reach further by Prince Zuko as he lunged again, fighting with a renewed fury. The blades sang through the air, whirring as Sokka struggled to get enough space between them.
He dodged a strike and used his shield arm to slam a fist into Zuko’s stomach, sending the soldier stumbling back just as his second blade cut into Sokka’s hip. It sliced through the fabric and left a sluggish line of blood pooling underneath. Hakoda hissed through his teeth, tensing under Bato’s touch as he fought the instinctive urge to step in the midst of the fight. His fingers ached to grab a weapon and defend his son, to shout and put a stop to this nonsense. No honor is worth this.
The fight went on despite the fear crawling up his throat and tightening his chest until it hurt to breathe. For every strike Sokka landed, Zuko landed two in quick succession, criss crossing the blues with spurts of red that stained his son’s clothes with every cut. Sokka stumbled when a pommel to the jaw sent him off balance followed by a high swing of the blades. Hakoda saw a strike running near Sokka’s throat, he saw the blood that splattered the collar of the warrior’s clothes. He saw the red seeping fast down his neck and felt cold all over his entire body.
“Sokka!” Hakoda cried, lunging forward before Bato wrapped his arms around the chief and dragged him back into the circle of observers. His eyes searched his son as he staggered, his shield hand grasping at the bloody streak. Katara was screaming for her brother but everything felt so far away, like a rush of water in his ears as he drowns. He can’t lose Sokka. He can’t lose his baby boy. Not like this.
‘Spirits please. Don’t take my boy from me.’
He begged as he sank to his knees. Bato lowered himself beside him, holding him close as Hakoda gasped for air that felt like it wouldn’t come. Sokka corrected his balance but he staggered, swaying uneasily on his feet for a moment before stepping towards the prince. Prince Zuko stood, blades poised for another attack, waiting, gauging his opponent. Hakoda prayed that his son would yield. He begged the spirits that Sokka would lay down his club, but the warrior stood firm in his resolve and raised it for the next strike.
The fight continued as Sokka’s attacks looked sloppier, less coordinated than before but far more wild. Prince Zuko was having trouble anticipating his movements as he shifted between club strikes and punches. At one point, he grabbed Prince Zuko by the front of his shirt and hauled him clean off his feet before tossing him to the blood stained snow. The soldier recovered sluggishly, growing weary from the prolonged battle. His face was twisted in its own kind of pain as he rose back up. It was a brief shadow but Hakoda caught it as Prince Zuko favored one side. The earlier strike from his son’s club was slowing him down. He couldn’t imagine what kind of damage had been done to the prince under those clothes. The blades made every hit noticeable, leaving a trail of red in their wake, but every club swing was blunt on impact, leaving little evidence to the naked eye.
The crowd of people were shocked in silence, watching with bated breath, waiting for one of the men to yield. There were no sides being taken. There were no friendly cheers of support. This duel was cruel and painful to both parties. Some of the audience had left, sickened and distraught. Others watched in horrified awe at the determination of their blows. Neither gave ground, even as they panted heavily with exhaustion. Each gasp for air came in white huffs that pained both men. Their footsteps were clumsy. Sokka was no longer skirting the edges or dodging swipes. He planted his feet firmly in place and defended from the central point of the arena.
He didn’t have the fight in him to give much more than that. Prince Zuko was a flurry of swings that flowed towards him. Hakoda flinched as Sokka raised his club to deflect both blades. Dreading the worst, he shrank back as Sokka lunged forward, stepping into Prince Zuko’s swing. One blade caught his side in a shallow thrust, another nicked his arm leaving traces of blood in their wake as Sokka grappled the smaller man, catching a startled sound from the soldier as he was thrown to the ground in one fluid pull of motion. He hit the snow with a heavy thump that made Hakoda ache sympathetically. The prince gasped crudely, writhing against the ice for fleeting seconds as he tried to recover.
Sokka stood over him with his club gripped tightly in hand. Golden eyes widened in alarm before the prince swept his legs, rotating his body back onto his shoulders in a singular circular motion. Sokka’s legs went right out from underneath him as the prince rolled back to his knees with the built up momentum and stumbled. He staggered forward, catching himself as he loomed over Sokka. His son groaned from where he landed on the ice. His club fell from his grasp as he grimaced at the sky. His whole body went rigid when Prince Zuko lowered his blades to cross his throat in a silent promise. The sharp tips scraped the curve of blood stained skin as Sokka swallowed thickly.
“Do you yield?” Prince Zuko asked. It was enough to chill Hakoda to the bone as he watched Sokka slowly raise his hands in surrender.
“I yield.” He choked out. Blue eyes lowered to inspect the blades with a cold disinterest but he took care not to move until the prince had lowered them and returned them in one smooth easy motion, back to their sheathe. He took a few steps back, permitting Sokka the chance to get back up before bowing to him in that formal Fire Nation way. This signified the end of the duel as Lady Ezra gestured, announcing for all to hear.
“Li wins.”
Hakoda didn’t even remember getting to his feet as he raced to his son’s side before anyone else. He vaguely recognized Bato’s steps behind him or the rush of Katara streaking through the crowd to join them. He dropped beside his son, searching him as his hands hesitated to reach out and touch him with how many injuries were scattered across his body. The cut near his neck, he noted, had thankfully been much lower than Hakoda had realized. Having struck Sokka’s collarbone and pec, the splatter and angle had deceived him, leaving him trembling with panic as he clutched at Sokka’s hand.
“Sokka, spirits! Are you alright? Son?”
“Sokka!” Katara cried as she dropped to his other side, but the warrior didn’t give either of them so much as a glance at first. His gaze was fixed on Prince Zuko as the man quietly walked away in the direction of Hama’s hut. He moved stiffly in that way that they’d all become keenly aware of, vanishing as the crowd gathered to check on his son. Hama was moving quickly to their side, ushering Katara away before Sokka blinked and shook whatever thoughts had plagued him away.
“I’m fine.” He grunted absently, still lost in whatever thoughts made his eyes look so haunted.
“You are not fine!” Katara blurted, ringing Hakoda out of his own silence. He felt Sokka’s grip on his hand tighten as he was drawn to inspect the distress in his son’s face. He pleaded silently to his father for an intervention. Hakoda offered one as he rose to his feet.
“Come on, son. Let’s get you to the healer’s hut so Hama can look you over.” He pulled the hand that he was still clutching, looping Sokka’s arm around his shoulders to steady him. Sokka hissed through his teeth as Bato took the other side. “Katara, can you grab his things?”
Katara looked frustrated at first before snapping out of it, nodding her understanding. She scrambled to pick up the fallen shield and club, before trailing behind them to the hut.
Hama didn’t let Katara linger long once Sokka was settled into the hut away from the cold and prying eyes. The fire burned, illuminating the room with a cozy heat that thawed the chilled fighters that found a cot to rest on. Hakoda and Bato deposited Sokka on one and noted that Prince Zuko had taken up the other at the opposite end. His swords were set aside where they leaned against the wall. The upper half of his clothes were off and bundled on the edge of the cot where he took to applying salves to his own injuries. His entire torso was scraped and splattered in large stretches of bruising as he struggled to apply the salve. His ribcage was possibly the worst result where the club had hit. The prince could barely lift his right arm as he hissed and cursed quietly under his breath. He kept his back turned to the rest of them as he worked.
The healer didn’t seem to bother with intervening, allowing the prince to treat his own wounds for now while she focused on stopping the bleeding of Sokka’s. Most of them were cleaned and bandaged. The one on his hip and the one on his collarbone required stitches as Hama worked nimble fingers through the task. Sokka sat quietly through it all. His slow steady breathing only broke in brief hitches as Hama’s work pulled a sharper pain before he evened his pace. His eyes were squeezed shut as he waited it out until everything was bandaged and cared for. Hama left him for a moment before returning with a medicinal tea for the warrior to drink to help with the pain.
Hakoda found a wet rag to clean the paint off of his son’s face as Sokka relaxed back onto the cot and warmed up. He was too quiet and too still for the chief’s liking but there was little he could do to soothe the pain his son felt. Not when the source of that pain was still so close at hand. Neither men addressed each other. There was this quiet excruciating form of acceptance that hung between them that felt like total defeat after an intense battle. No lives were lost, but something fragile and special had been, and that hurt more than any wound either of them could inflict on the other.
The hardest part of all, was with the knowledge that neither man had been in the wrong. All of this pain, all of this misery, and for what to be gained? It was frustrating for the chief as he sat there, trapped by the suffocating silence that stewed between his son and his war prize. The only interruptions came when Hama checked in on both, neutral in her handling of the situation that eased in and out without shattering it or sparking further dispute.
When Hakoda dragged his attention towards the other side of the room, he found the prince had laid down on his cot and turned his back to them. His ribcage was wrapped in bandages where Hama had taken over and dealt with the injury. A cold fist of snow had been applied to the right side, held in frozen fingers that clutched it tightly. The only sign that the other man was even awake.
Time inched by until Hama gave Sokka the clear to return home with directions to rest for the next few days. Hakoda helped his son get dressed and shuffle out of the hut, entering the cold night air as the sun sank beyond the horizon.
“Do you want to stay with us tonight?” Hakoda had asked, holding Sokka’s arm to support his unsteady steps. Without the war paint hiding his face, he looked gaunt and tired. As if the ordeal alone had hollowed him out to nothing more than a husk. Every step was an effort for the warrior as he fixed his stare forward and avoided his father’s gaze.
Sokka shook his head as he spoke tiredly. “No.”
“Do you want me to-”
“Dad, please.” The strain in his voice caught Hakoda off guard as he stared at his son’s bitter expression. “I just want to be left alone.”
“Sokka-”
“ Please .”
Swallowing hard, he conceded. “Okay.” It tasted foul on his tongue as he relented to his son’s wishes, feeling as if he was inadequate in his duties as a father. He wanted to be there for his son, he wanted to protect him and hold him, even if Sokka was no longer the starry eyed little boy he remembered who always clung to his hand and shadowed his every step. It hurt but Hakoda was used to that kind of hurt. He was accustomed to handling the sharpened jagged edges that had become his life without Kya to smooth it all out. “Can I at least walk you home?”
“Sure dad.” Sokka deflated, but the hand on his father’s gripped it tighter. It was a small relief to Hakoda as he nodded and continued to guide Sokka back to their family home.
"Do you know what the hardest part of being a healer is, Li?" Zuko heard the old woman ask. Sokka had left the hut a while ago but the prince had been too tired to do much other than roll onto his back and stare at the ceiling. Every breath made his chest hurt between the ache of his ribs and the residual cold in his lungs. His whole body was chilled all over as he huddled and shivered under the layers of furs.
"What?" He humored her, because he needed the distraction. He needed something to fill his thoughts with more than just this agonizing guilt that ripped into him, dragging every scar open until it was new and raw.
Hama flitted about near the fire as she prepared something. Zuko couldn't see what it was without sitting up, which he had no intention of doing now that he found a position that hurt the least. She hummed.
"It is the knowledge that in some efforts to heal the worst kind of injuries, we must first inflict more pain upon those we help." She explained, coming closer to the cot as she held a tankard in hand. The drink was a warm glass of cider. He accepted it gratefully and lifted his head enough to sip at the sweet brew, letting the heat pool through him until he could feel something other than a numbing cold.
"I suppose." He answered solemnly after a strong swallow that made his throat hurt, fidgeting with the worn handle. "It doesn't lessen the guilt any."
"No, it never does." She agreed with a small nod. "But the knowledge that they will be better for it in the end helps guide our hands to do what we must."
It was the kind of unsolicited layered wisdom that he would come to expect from Uncle. He would admit that it was a relief to hear right now when he felt scraped raw and beaten down. His doubts were a cliff slide determined to crush him under the weight of their brutality. It gave him no pleasure in hurting Sokka and every cut he inflicted upon the warrior felt like another betrayal. He felt sick to his stomach when that strike hit his collar. Fear and panic sliced through him that he went too high. He very nearly dropped his blades on the spot to ensure he didn’t slit the other man’s throat but as Sokka stumbled and recovered, he was able to calm his racing thoughts and focus on the placement of the blood and where Sokka had reached for. It didn’t comfort him much knowing he hurt the other man like that, only cementing that gut feeling of just how horrible of a person he truly was.
Every person that gets close to him suffers, and it’s always Zuko’s fault, whether he inflicts that pain upon them with his own hands or by close proximity.
He couldn’t even imagine facing Chief Hakoda, Katara or Kanna after all of this. He could imagine that their feelings towards him may have changed as well, after they welcomed him into their home. They treated him like family. They showed him so much kindness and this was how he repaid all of them. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on breathing when the familiar burn of tears started to creep in. His throat went tight, feeling on the verge of closing up on him as he tried to swallow around the rough ball of emotion that clogged it. He tried to clear it but only made it feel more raw and painful than before. He wasn’t looking forward to retrieving his belongings from Kanna’s home. Part of him wondered if he could request someone else do it, but that felt cowardly on his part.
He paved this path and now he needed to walk it and faced the consequences at the other end. Part of him wished he had just kept his mouth shut and silently accepted but that didn’t quite feel right for him to do, regardless of how he felt now. Zuko was not one to let his voice be silenced again, and he promised himself that he wouldn’t be another bystander in this war hiding behind someone else’s command when he could make a difference with his own actions. He had to believe that this choice was the right one. That all this pain, that these sacrifices he made would be worth it in the end. Because if he couldn’t force himself to believe in that tiny shred of hope, then he wouldn’t survive.
He wasn’t meant to lead. He wasn’t cut out for the sort of role that was expected of a commander or Prince or whatever, but Zuko knew he had little choice on the matter. This was his decision. He failed to protect his own people once before, he made the wrong choices and trusted the wrong man to see them through, and he refused to allow that to happen again. He wouldn’t force anyone else to make those hard choices either, so he took it upon himself because he knew if it was left for Kanna and the rest of the council, or for Chief Hakoda to make that call, that Sokka would never forgive them. They were his people, but Zuko wasn’t. He was expendable. He was just a passing ghost through their lives that would be gone by winter’s end, and they could resume their peaceful lifestyle in his absence. And maybe, with this arrangement with the Earth Kingdom, the Southern Tribes could stay out of the war indefinitely.
Zuko had to hope and pray to the spirits that this will all be over. Even if it meant he was in chains, it would soothe his own soul knowing that he managed to do one Agni-damned thing right in this world.
Sleep came fitfully as Sokka tossed and turned, grimaced and cursed and flailed about the night trying to ignore the pain that throbbed all over his body and the tight ache around his stitches. He couldn’t get comfortable, causing him to toss the furs off of himself and expose his skin to the nip of night that crept into the home. It was too quiet and it grated on his nerves. Hama had given him something for pain but Sokka didn’t have the care to take anymore after he choked down the last bitter brew she handed him. Katara had fretted as she lingered near his door for the better part of the night, trying to coax him into eating something but he couldn’t stomach anything. Just the smell was enough to make him nauseous.
Gran Gran had to chase her off by giving her menial tasks to help with until she got the hint to leave him alone for a bit. No matter how upset he was, he couldn’t bring himself to snap at her. Not right now. Not when she looked at him with so much fear in her eyes and her hands shook as she clutched at his. He saw the tears that stained her face after the duel. He felt the way she trembled at his side but it was too much for him to handle. He had enough to wrestle with of his own emotions, he couldn’t face the storm of hers on top of it all, and he grieved silently once he found a brief glimpse of peace.
He closed his eyes and felt the hot shame that burned in his gut as he recalled how Zuko looked as he retreated from the arena. At first glance, he could see the pride of a Fire Nation soldier, bold and triumphant in his victory, but Sokka knew Zuko better than anyone else in the village. He saw the tight set of his shoulders, the subtle tremor of his jaw as he turned away, the anger and maybe even regret that brewed in his eyes as he stood over Sokka with his blades poised at his throat.
Zuko fought with the fury of a storm and Sokka couldn’t contend with that kind of natural ferocity and grace. He wasn’t fast enough to deflect every blow. He wasn’t strong enough to repel the pommel strikes without staggering. He wasn’t cruel enough to give Zuko exactly what he wanted. What little damage he did inflict upon the soldier only left Sokka feeling disgusted at himself.
His fingers fisted tightly at his sides when his mind lingered on the second his club made contact with Zuko’s ribcage. He could still feel the way it connected and the give of the man beneath it. He prayed to the spirits that he hadn’t seriously wounded the soldier, and that he would just stay down, but Zuko was, as he is in all things, a man that took the hardest route possible. Nothing was ever easy for him, and that self-inflicted misery was quickly becoming a bane that Sokka couldn’t handle. He didn’t like being used like that. He found no comfort in how everything transpired. He felt like a man who lost everything and still the universe managed to find more to take from him.
His dignity. His heart. His sanity.
Despite everything that happened, he couldn’t stop himself from still loving this man even as the thought filled him with so much pain. He didn’t know if they could ever overcome this, or if it would even be sensible to try but a part of Sokka hoped regardless. He held tight to the pain that sank into his bones and used it to mask the pain in his heart, choosing the physical afflictions over the emotional burdens that loomed above him like hungry vultures.
He couldn’t help but replay the duel over and over in his head, from beginning to end. Sokka mentally searched for every detail, every shred of evidence that he could in his mind that assured him that Zuko still cared. At the end of what felt like hours, he came to a final conclusion.
The very fact that he was still breathing right now proved that Zuko still cared, even if that hurt to consider. The way he pulled back when certain strikes came too close, or lessened the blows of his pommel. How he dropped his guard to take a hit instead of delivering one in an opening that could have ended Sokka on the spot. If Zuko had been fighting with true anger in his heart, he would have struck the warrior down as he had those Earth Kingdom soldiers. Instead, Zuko fought the way he fought Sokka in that forest and on the beach. He was pulling his strikes, dancing around opportunities that could have inflicted real harm.
It was a terrifying prospect to know just how skilled the prince was, and simultaneously understand that this was a man showing mercy to someone he may care for. Or maybe he didn’t love Sokka the way the warrior loved the soldier, perhaps he was merely returning the courtesy after all the tribesman had done for him these last few months. Zuko was the type of man to offer gratitude in strange ways, even for a Fire Nation prince, he had a peculiar way about him that puzzled them all. Sokka supposed it wasn’t too outlandish to think this was all that was. Zuko owed him a debt of gratitude and this was the result. He spared Sokka in one final act before walking away from him for good. The possibility of it being so final put their last moments in the mock arena in a new light.
Zuko walked away from him, alone and without glancing back once. He moved through the crowd and placed distance between himself and the tribe. He entered the arena alone, without a single person to stand by his side as he faced Sokka, not even Lady Ezra. The prince was a man that had a calculated way of doing things, even when they felt impulsive and reckless.
Just as he had built that gap between them this past week, straying away from Sokka and avoiding his physical touches so often, he had created a similar crater between himself and the rest of the tribe. All the while vying to sell himself to the Earth Kingdom with the tribes’ best interests at heart. If this was some orchestrated attempt to place doubt in their minds and their hearts, it had the potential to work. Had Zuko really done all of this, declared the Agni Kai, with the entire intent being forcing the tribe to resent him so they would be eager to agree to the Earth Kingdom’s demands just to be rid of him? Did he intend to force Sokka to hate him as well? To be the loudest voice against keeping him in the south?
It sounded crazy enough to be possible, and that fact made the vulnerable nerve of his emotions cry out even louder. He rolled over in bed and groaned miserably, letting the tendrils of pain pull his thoughts away from those agonizing feelings as he tried to smother them into silence. He squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to silence his racing thoughts, focusing on breathing through the shocks of pain in his limbs and the tight ache of his chest as the stitches pulled from the motion. He prayed for sleep to steal him away if only for a few hours so he wouldn’t have to drown in the cacophony of his thoughts, agonizing longingly over all the what if’s and alternate possibilities for why Zuko did what he did. It was too much and he couldn’t handle it all right now. He prayed for peace, he begged for silence and sleep.
When morning came, Sokka didn’t feel any better. His sleep felt like a single blink as night tipped into dawn and daylight snuck over the south like a thief, sweeping peace from their homes as people rose to face another day. Gran Gran was busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast and Sokka listened, feeling as nauseous as he had the night before.
He kept his back turned to the doorway when he heard the soft steps of Katara’s approach across the living room and to the curtain. Her knuckles rapped gently on the frame as she stepped in hesitantly.
“Sokka?”
Her voice was so quiet and pleading, it pulled him to lift his head and turn a tired eye towards her. She was holding something against her chest. It was large and roughly square shaped where it was wrapped in something. It was hard to tell in the darkness that still lingered in the room despite the lanterns that lit the living room.
She took another uncertain step towards his bed, waiting for permission to come closer. With a groan, he dragged his stiff limbs to shove himself upright, sitting with the pillows tucked against his back and the furs bunched around his hips. A shiver raced down his spine as he exposed his chest to the cooler air of their home. He patted the space on the edge of the bed in invitation. She lingered, hesitant in a way that was unusual for his sister, causing him to raise a brow in confusion. She stepped past him to light the lantern on his desk and situate it so there was enough light to properly see each other and the object in her arms.
It was most definitely wrapped and tied with twine. She settled down on the edge of the bed as Sokka shifted his weight to give her more room. Twisting to face him, she laid the wrapped object down in her lap, smoothing her fingers over the twine carefully, looking a touch nervous.
“What’s up?” He asked, trying for a small smile to ease his sister out of the quiet shell she’d put herself in. He hadn’t seen her like this in a long time and it always left him feeling anxious and hyperaware. Something was wrong and she didn’t know how to tell him. Just as she did when they were kids, she would shuffle into his room, looking timid and apologetic and settle down beside her brother and wait until she managed the courage to say what was troubling her so much.
“Katara?” He prodded gently, reaching out to touch her shoulder. She turned teary eyes on him as she blinked them away quickly.
“I’m sorry.” She murmured.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Sokka assured.
She shook her head slowly, her eyes lowering to the bandages criss-crossing his chest and the dark stains of dried blood that seeped through them in the night. Her jaw tightened with grief and anger fleeting in her eyes. “I wish there was something I could do.”
“Me too.” Sokka sighed, letting his shoulders sag in defeat.
Katara toyed with the thinly wrapped object, caught in her thoughts as she tore her gaze away to stare down at it. When she finally spoke, her voice was so weak, it made Sokka ache to cheer her up, but he couldn’t as her words stole the breath from his chest. “Li asked me to help him make this for you, for your birthday.” She shifted the object in her grasp before holding it out to her brother. “He wanted to show his appreciation for everything you’ve done for him.”
Sokka stared for a long time, dragging his gaze slowly from Katara’s worried eyes down to the object. He took it in hand, moving slow and hesitant like it would vanish in a cloud of smoke if he touched it. When he finally took it in his grasp, it felt a little heavier than he expected. He let it fall to his lap, still gripped in his hands as he smoothed a shaky palm across the bound twine.
“It would have been done sooner but me and Pana had to teach him how to sew properly. He only knew how to make patch jobs, not stitch seams.” She tried for humor but it came out flat and brittle. “He worked really hard on it for you, if that’s any consolation.”
Sokka stared down at the gift, unable to bring himself to open it yet. He sucked in a shaky breath, feeling it catch in his throat as tears started to burn in his eyes.
“Sokka?”
He licked his lips and tasted blood where they had dried and cracked, and spoke softly. “He wasn’t fighting to kill me, you know.” There was a pause as she nodded.
“I know.” She said, uncertain now.
Sokka squeezed his eyes shut and gripped the gift tightly in his hands as he let the bitter words leave his lips. “I kind of wish he had.”
“Sokka-” She gasped. But he shook his head slowly.
“Thank you, Katara.” He didn’t look at her as he clutched the object until his knuckles turned white and the wounds on his arms ached at the effort. She hesitated a moment, waiting a few heartbeats before slowly getting up to leave. Her hand rested gently on his shoulder in a comforting pat before she vacated the room. Sokka stayed like that for several minutes until he found the courage to open his eyes and fumbled his fingers over the twine to pull it away, peeling back the thin wrapping to reveal the polar leopard pelt from their hunt together.
It was carefully folded up as he forced it to unravel and reveal the skirt-like garment that was skillfully stitched together creating a type of comfortable sleepwear that wasn’t uncommon but knowing Katara’s involvement in helping make the gift, may have lent to an inside joke among them. The laugh that broke in his throat was gutted and painful as he smoothed his fingers over the fur and clutched it tightly to his chest. Hot tears streamed down his face in a shoulder wracking sob that made every stitch pull and throb. He couldn’t choke back the grief that stormed through him as he rocked gently forward and folded over the gift.
If his family heard, they were kind enough to ignore him, allowing him the perceived privacy to break under the tidal wave of emotions that had finally burst like a dam pushed to its limits. He trembled beneath their touch, finding his footing in brief moments of gasping peace before it hit once more, dragging him back under as he massaged the fur between his fingers and traced the stitching, following it until he found the slip of paper tucked within.
‘An odd gift for an odd man to cherish the memories we’ve made with the hopes of more to come. I appreciate all you have done for me, Sokka, and I pray that the spirits fill your life for many years to come with prosperity and peace.’
-A Fire Nation Ferret, Li
He couldn’t wipe the tears away fast enough as he read the soldier’s neat lines and the elongated shapes of his letters. His fingers traced the signature, feeling like a dagger to the gut as more tears fell accompanied by another hard gasp that filled his whole chest with excruciating pain. He crumpled under the weight, curling forward as he pressed his face against the leopard fur and held the note in hand, rolling to his side as he kept them both close like the remnants of something rare and special that he once had and may never get again.
Notes:
I told yall this was going to hurt. It's not stopping yet either. Expect more pain to come.
Chapter 32
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The smell of tobacco filled his nostrils as Prince Ozai packed it into the pipe with the tip of his fingers. It was a refreshing scent that made him ache with yearning at the end of yet another infuriating meeting with his father and brother. Yesterday was the late Prince Zuko’s birthday, and despite the news of his death reaching every corner of the kingdom, the lanterns were lit one last time in mourning for the young prince. Lady Ursa had been adamant that a service be held by the Fire Sages in honor of their son’s spirit. Ozai was frustrated, wondering when his wife would learn to let the dead lie as they were. What’s done was done, he accomplished his goal of finally being rid of the sickly thorn in his side.
Lighting the tobacco, he dragged in a deep breath of smoke from the pipe, letting it fill his lungs with the familiar satisfying burn before exhaling it through his nostrils in a large plume. A knock came at the door of his office, disturbing him from his reverie.
“What is it?” He growled, causing the voice behind the door to speak up, uncertain and shaky.
“A letter, your majesty.”
His interest was piqued as he coldly amended. “Come in.”
The courier was a young man who barely looked old enough to serve but the uniform designated him of a respectable status. He was presumably from the newest crop of enlisted men. He moved with military precision, stiff backed at attention as he held the letter out to Ozai. The prince took it in hand, noting the two letters wrapped around one another. He stepped away from the courier to inspect both letters at his desk, setting his pipe to rest where the tobacco smoldered.
The first letter was from one of his trusted agents, a Fire Nation scout that infiltrated the Earth Kingdom ranks. He was of mixed blood from the colonies which was its own problem, but appeared suitable enough to blend in without drawing the eye to his questionable heritage. He’d been leaking information back to the Fire Nation about General Fong’s movements and what little they could get about the Council of Five’s intentions in this war. While simultaneously bleeding convenient intel to the other side, such as the presence of a certain Fire Nation prince stationed in the mountain pass outside of Omashu, or the designated supply wagons being sent to the encampment that were being intercepted by Earth Kingdom soldiers.
It was a pity that these things happen, truly. It’s the cost of war these days. You win some and you lose some. Of course now they could focus all of their efforts on General Shinu’s siege against the great city, allowing him to reap the benefits that were being wasted on Prince Zuko’s piddly little efforts to distract the Earth Kingdom.
Opening the letter, he inspected the hasty script from the spy.
This came by way of a bird from Kyoshi Island, an urgent message for General Fong. I believe it would be of great interest to you, sir.
Setting the agent’s letter aside, he inspected the tattered letter made from stockpiled paper. It was wrinkled at the edges and faintly smelled of smoke from a fire with just the barest hint of something else. Perhaps tea? As strange as it was, it reminded him of Iroh’s blends that he found any excuse to shove in their direction when offered the opportunity. He’d be hard pressed to admit, it was well made but he found little pleasure in that knowledge. Not like he had years ago when their relationship was something that may have been salvageable. Back when Ozai was naive and foolish.
He unrolled the letter to find the familiar strokes of his son’s handwriting inked in the Earth Kingdom alphabet. It wasn’t like his flowing elongated imperial strokes but something compressed and more sterile. Judging by the way it was written, it was quickly apparent that this letter was meant to appear as if written from another. It was signed in the name of Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe, but the hand was clearly Prince Zuko’s. Even with the slanted uneven strokes that told the boy was writing with his right hand, and not his dominant left like so many of his letters had been when pleading to his father to be given any other order but to continue the stalemate.
“A trade negotiation?” He hummed under his breath, raising a brow at the letter. He never would have pegged his son to be the type to sell himself for another nation, especially an enemy nation. The Water Tribes were an errant thorn in his side that needed to be dealt with. The failure of the trade agreement had fueled Ozai's mission to tear the two nations apart, taking away the Earth Kingdom's more skilled naval allies, and securing the Fire Navy's swift victories along their coasts. Together, this will lead to the suffocation of their economy as trade is intercepted and their wealthy ports shrivel up or fall under Fire Nation rule.
With the blame for Prince Zuko's death falling on the Southern tribes, the people of the Fire Nation would be more than eager to support a mission to the shores of these savages to put them down indefinitely.
Now his son was trying to undermine his work. Presumably, these savages knew of Prince Zuko's royal lineage now, he could sow the seeds of doubt in the aftermath. Allow the Earth Kingdom to think the Water Tribes were hiding a valuable source of information from them while securing the end of a loose tie. His agents were aware of every Fire Nation citizen that had been taken by the Southern savages, some of which remained in that frozen landscape, colluding with the heathen hordes through winter. A few still maintained their connections to their homeland by sending letters through numerous channels to reach family. They thought these channels to be discreet and private, but they were well aware of the information being passed between.
Perhaps it was time to remind his son that his secrets were never safe to begin with.
"Return in an hour. I'll have a message prepared to send back." The courier nodded stiffly.
"Yes your majesty." He turned to leave as Ozai set the letter of his son's writing aside on his desk and reached to find a new sheet of paper to prepare his orders. He lifted the pipe to his lips, relaxing into the cushions of his chair as the doors swung open and the courier was startled in the entrance by the bold interruption of Lady Ursa.
His wife moved with determination and poise in every step as she swept into his office like a storm. Her soft eyes hardened in a way that told Ozai all he needed to know. They've played these games of shadows and secrets before, and he always won regardless of the hand she held to her chest. He would humor her again.
The doors clicked ominously behind her, signaling the fragile privacy they were offered as she spoke.
"I know."
Ozai steeped the smoke in his lungs before letting it curl past his lips in a purr. "And what, pray tell, is it you know my dear?"
She was unbothered by the gesture, unshaken and firm in her stance. Her hands folded calmly before her as she stepped towards his desk. Her gaze dropped to inspect the letter, her eyes rife with relief and longing before they hardened again with a renewed fire.
"I'll do whatever you want of me, as long as you promise to leave him alone." She bit out, her words leveled at him like a dagger. The grief of loss had weighed upon her heavily but she bore it like a true soldier, weathering the storm until she found a cause to fight once more. It was that unyielding determination, that passion, that beautiful ferocity that stole his attention all those years ago. It's what made her such a stunning prize to behold.
Perhaps they had once held the potential to love one another, to genuinely form the foundations of something more than just the formalities of royal expectations. He had been hopeful to find her heart belonged to him, only to find it was merely a lie. A clever deceit as she played the part she was forced into. It hurt, but that was a pain he had whipped into twisted pleasure. She yielded beneath him when they bartered, promised and bargained like this.
Two children, two healthy heirs for a life of peace. She had given him a sickly whelp but Azula had more than made up for that fact. They waited, biding their time for Zuko to pass on. It never slipped Ozai's mind that there had been a plaque with his name etched upon it in the family shrine since the day of his birth, quietly waiting to bore the final date of his death in support of his urn.
He couldn't force her to conceive another child without breaking their agreement, and Firelord Azulon would not bless his request for a second wife for better successors. As long as Prince Zuko survived, as long as Lady Ursa kept her promise, he was stuck in this rut. Meanwhile Iroh maintained his status and his position.
"Whatever I want?" He asked, toying with the idea. "How scandalous, milady."
She glared at him, sharp and cold. He smirked back at her, lowering his pipe as he watched the tobacco smolder and the small wisp of smoke rise from the end.
"And what if I want you gone?" His golden eyes pinned her in place as he let the words roll off of his tongue. "Indefinitely."
"I'll make it happen. On two conditions." She was quick to assert, drawing a touch of amusement swirling in his gut. He rose to his feet, letting the pipe rest casually in hand as he strutted towards her, graceful as a cat. She was unbothered by this display as he glided past and circled her, raking golden eyes along her slender figure.
"Speak quickly." He bid.
"I want a written agreement, that if I go, you will not harm our son. Let them believe he is still dead, allow him to live peacefully where he is, and you can marry whatever consort you wish." He rounded to face her, coming to stand so they were barely chest to chest. Ozai loomed ominous like a shadow as he watched her fire grow. "When you remarry, I want you to promise to leave Azula as your successor."
That was of little issue for him. As much of a failure as Zuko was, weak and pathetic, Azula was everything her brother was not. She'd make a fine General and strategist someday. He could see her proudly standing by his side in the war room as she details every conquest with vigor and drives even the most stubborn negotiations into their favor with cutting words and brilliant applications of the most minimal information. She reads a man like an open book and knows how to hit them where it hurts. He couldn't have asked for a better advisor to assist him.
"So be it." He agreed flippantly, raising his free hand to cup Lady Ursa's cheek. He trailed his fingers along her jaw, ignoring the venomous edge in her eyes that told him she wanted nothing more than to bite those fingers clean off. It only made him linger longer as they swept the hair from her brow and tucked it gently behind her ear before lowering it to tilt her chin up so those eyes burned into his.
"Shall we share one final kiss before we depart, milady?" He teased, his voice rising in dramatic flourishes like all those sappy romantic plays she adored, filling Zuko's head with chivalry and tales of self-sacrificing heroism. It was the plights of fools that led them here, but he would indulge them because fools do as fools wish. It keeps them complacent while the true masters work the strings behind the scenes.
She scowled at him even harder as he leaned in to capture her lips. Slipping his eyes shut, he savored their softness, like so many passionate nights before hatred soaked their sheets in blood and anger. Before a knife had become a closer companion to his wife than he was. It was as much a familiar pain, as it always was. An ache he couldn't shake. A sorrow he smothered desperately behind cold words and bitterness. His fingers slid across her throat, coaxing her into his touch, pliant and ready as she kissed him back. It truly was a sweet farewell, before her teeth caught his lip and spoiled it with the tang of copper. He reared back, grimacing as she glared at him harder, teeth stained red in a sneer.
"I want your promise on paper." She spoke coldly, meeting his eyes without flinching. He crooked his lips into an amused smile and briefly mourned the fact they wouldn't get the chance for a final night together. Her wild spirit always managed to make him ache until his royal finery became tight and uncomfortable.
"It shall be done." He growled back, licking the blood from his lips as he straightened up to address the clean untouched sheet on his desk. Her eyes followed him until he settled back into his seat and prepared to compose the contract one final time.
Ozai had slipped into his bed chambers that night, lying awake and listening to the quiet of the palace halls. The servants scurried silently like meadow voles as the guards patrolled on watch. The soft steps of their boots on the polished stone halls were the only interruption. His thoughts wandered to the discussion this afternoon with his wife as they finalized their agreement, and he found himself waiting with nervous anticipation.
A part of him ached to have her by his side just one last time. To hold her against his chest and run his fingers through her hair as he once had when they were first married. The taste of her lips still sweet with wine from the festivities as she smiled up at him. The brush of their noses as he pressed gentle kisses along her jaw while his fingers traced the curve of her neck. Her soft supple breasts flush against his bare skin, naked against the heat of the summer and the sticky humidity. Only the barest sheet to cover them as their legs tangled together with soft giggles uttered from her chest, dancing like melodies against his quiet chuckles. Wine flushed cheeks warmed as he dragged her into a kiss so heated it would make Agni envious in that fleeting moment.
It was a memory he clung to despite his better judgement and found comfort in when the days were particularly stressful. He would chase those phantom feelings he once courted in her presence and find the blissful release of relief at those cherished touches that no longer strayed his way. He couldn't quite place when the spark, what little there had been, had fizzled and died. He would estimate it was after Zuko's birth, but no, they had still found comfort in those early years in what few rare moments of tangled pleasure together. One of which resulted in Azula's birth. Perhaps it was the year after, when her first birthday had been celebrated and Zuko was still struggling against the call of the spirits. Grief had taken Ursa as the doctors and Fire Sages both advocated for a peaceful end to the boy's suffering. Ozai had spoken up in agreement, seeing reason in their views, but Ursa had looked at him with such coldness in her eyes.
Father wouldn't allow it, as both Iroh and Ursa begged for Zuko's life. Zuko was so fragile and weak, uttering hardly a sound in Ozai's arms. He barely moved and looked as pale as the moon that shone upon him. Fear had driven a cold wedge in his heart with the knowledge that his son would die young. A part of him refused to become attached knowing what pain inevitably awaits. He showed promise in brief moments of lucid behavior as they observed his strength and curiosity, before illness would strike him down in a wave of misery. Ozai refused to continue getting his hopes up for the boy's survival only to watch it be shattered time and time again. Ursa had no qualms in being played through it all, rising and falling with his condition like the tide on their shores.
Zuko survived, regardless of their efforts to deliver him early to their ancestors. Not even a misplaced candle in a sedated sleep could take him over that threshold he toed cautiously. No, it would appear that fateful night had driven him so far from the spirits and their reach that not even savages could take him for good. Ozai indulged in the thought that perhaps his son had walked that fine line for so very long that he no longer understood where in this world he belonged, and that is why he dressed like a spirit from old tales and committed so many vile acts of treason against his nation.
A merit of insanity perhaps. The boy had lost his senses, and was always a peculiar one growing up. But to side with the enemy against his own countrymen? To sell himself to another nation in the hopes of saving a few savages from starvation? Whether it was a lapse in his mental state or trauma from injury or some other least likely option, Ozai surmised that the least he could do was deliver on his promise all those years ago, and finish what he started.
Zuko will join his ancestors and his mother once more. It was the burden he knew he must carry, the hard choices that must be made in the face of their nation's security. If he allows this farce to continue, the young prince will see their ultimate demise whether Iroh or Father realizes it.
The lantern lights had gone out as Ozai lingered on the cusp of sleep. The distant shouts rose down the halls as servants screamed in distress.
"Someone call a doctor!"
"Lady Ursa collapsed!"
"Help! Guards please!
The race of boots rushed the halls as voices sounded in alarm.
"She isn't breathing!"
"Mother? Mother!"
Azula's cries filled the night, a haunting wail that rang painfully in his ears. He breathed through it, closing his eyes against the burn that rose to the surface.
"Father? Where is father?! Uncle! Somebody help her!"
He couldn't face them. Not like this. He didn't want to see the way she looks now, however she chose to go about it all. He reserved the image in his mind, of her lively face flushed and warm under his palms. The delicate flow of her hair as it tumbles down her shoulders. The curve of her body that always seemed to fit perfectly against his. Pliant but never limp, never lifeless and cold.
He breathed, ignoring the hitch in his throat and focusing on anything but the growing noise as people rushed to his wife's chambers. He ignored the urgent knocks on his door for just a moment longer, unable to bring himself to move just yet. To face the consequences of these actions, even if they were for a greater cause in the end.
Notes:
This chapter would have been longer but that would have included a pity wank with Ozai.
Might make it an outtake, might let it die. Who knows?
Who wants an Ozai Pity Wank? Anybody?
In other news, we're not out of the angst Jungle yet folks. Hold on to your asses, this ride is going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
I'm sorry for that ahead of time.
Also, be sure to check out Chained: Outtakes for all the juicy scenes and alternate scenarios that I didn't get to put into this fic. I'll be updating it interchangeably with this fic.
Additionally, my wifey has encouraged me to write two more things linked to Chained. 1 is a Chained: Smutty Outtakes which will be all the self indulgent pairings and smut content I couldn't pack into Chained. The 2nd is an AU of Chained where Sokka and Zuko end up taken prisoners by a far more ruthless version of Pirate Queen Yue and the La's Revenge crew, and ransomed back to the Southern Water Tribes. The second is more likely to appear as its own addition in the near future as I've been working on it between Outtakes and Chained itself. It branches off from the events in Chapter 7 and will be a multichaptered fic.
If any of you want to write fic off this AU or make fanart of it, feel free. I'd always love to see it and read about your take or twist on this universe. I encourage it immensely.
You may find me on tumblr as Leading-the-pack. My inbox is always open for messages.
Chapter 33
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It had been a little over a week since the Agni Kai and Zuko was still feeling every blow like it were fresh. His bruises were extensive and his chest ached when he twisted or moved wrong, which made his work the following days very slow and tedious. He was grateful when the sun had come out long enough to reduce much of the snow though it left the village a muddy slurry mess that sucked at his boots in the high traffic areas.
The prince couldn't shake the near crippling unease he felt each time he left the healers hut. There was another feast in the main hall in celebration of something or other, but he opted to stay in the hut and work on his studies and catalog their inventory for the third time that week. He made another batch of arnica oil and washed the bandages that he kept tied around his ribcage along with the rest of his clothes that needed it.
He wasn't foolish enough to think nothing would change after the duel. He recognized the looks people gave him when he strayed from the hut. He heard the murmured words of question and noticed the closely guarded sneers in his passing. When he went to the Gull house to deliver a letter for Hama, Meriwa kept staring at him suspiciously, giving him this look that made him squirm and bristle under the stern gaze. It made him feel guilty despite not doing anything wrong. He found no comfort anywhere. There was no reprieve except in the hut and even then, the people that entered shared an array of emotions towards him. Some wouldn't look at him, some spat in his direction while some remained indifferent or awkwardly friendly.
He tried not to take it personally when a few of the villagers refused to let him handle their cases, expressing distrust towards him in their native tongue. Hama would take over and, on the rare occasion, he would even be asked to sit outside in the snow until she was finished just to keep things civil.
More often than not, he found himself occupying the stables just for a warm place to wait it out. Especially once the first of the handful of pregnant women entered the hut, crying out with labor pains. Zuko went as white as a sheet and stumbled out in a flurry of motion just to vacate the premises. Katara and Kanna had bypassed him in their hurry to assist, hardly sparing him a glance as they went inside.
Alik's wife was the first, as Hama had expected. She had been facing a rough pregnancy and the older tribesman had spent more time seeking medicine for her, pleading with Hama for something to ease his wife's discomfort. Zuko felt for the man, as he always remained amicable towards him even after the Agni Kai. He could imagine he was a bundle of nerves now.
Despite his eagerness to learn all he could, he'd rather reserve this portion of the training to the professionals. Just the thought of trying to help with something like this made him queasy. Retreating through the night, he found the comfort of the stable to be a welcome relief. The buffalo yaks never minded his company and Humpy was a willing ear to his woes or a watchful eye as he settled on a barrel and meditated in the quiet. It was also a far warmer option than sitting in the dark and snow waiting to be permitted back inside the hut.
Tonight, as he often was lately, he found himself too restless to sit still and meditate. He spent the time practicing his sets using a stick they used to break the ice in the water buckets, after going through and breaking it all himself first. It worked well enough to chase off the chill that settled in his bones and warm him temporarily, for what little he could do with his healing ribs. Every twist of motion hurt sending ripples of pain through his chest and lifting his right arm too high pulled at the muscles until they quivered and twitched in tight tangles that had him bent over and gasping if he pushed too hard. Cradling his side, he set the stick back in its place and joined the camel in the company of its stall. Humpy never minded him, and welcomed him with a neutral grunt as he slipped the door open and stepped inside. The camel was already lying comfortably in the corner, sleepy eyed and disinterested as Zuko settled down against his side, smoothing his hands through his fur.
"Mind if I stay a bit longer? I don't think I'll be welcome back in the hut tonight." Sure there was always the longhouse but there was also a higher risk of running into other people and he couldn't deal with that right now. He wrapped his cloak tighter around himself and huddled against the camel's side sharing the large animal's body heat as he got comfortable. The stable was still cold and Zuko couldn't ignore the shivers that raced through him but he's slept in worse places, he supposed and forced himself to do it again.
Alik's wife was in labor for most of the night and many of the crew waited anxiously with him in the longhouse for news of the birth. The man paced the length of the room enough times to risk wearing a hole in the ground as Kela and Tonuk tried to rope his attention into a game of pai sho. Hakoda had stayed for a little while to offer support before he quietly slipped out with a promise to be back later when news came. It wasn't hard for Bato to guess he was checking in on Sokka.
Since the Agni Kai, the young warrior rarely left Kanna's home. In fact, from what Katara had told them, he hardly left his room at all. Not since Li came to gather his belongings with Hama. They tried not to leave him alone for long, worried about what that kind of grief does to a man. They've all seen it destroy as silently as a snake bite, and Sokka's heart was a tender one that was wounded easily.
It was a hard thing to watch, even harder to hear about when the village had their own thoughts on it all. Due to the sensitive nature of this situation, they couldn't divulge the specifics of what happened and why. Some people were outraged and angry, demanding answers from Hakoda and the elders. The Agni Kai had ruffled more than a few feathers as that was not the way of the Water Tribes. This was not how they handled things, especially where war prizes were concerned.
People wondered and speculated why all of this had happened. Of course there were rumors a plenty, and none of them were necessarily kind to either man involved. Some were leery of Sokka while many were angry and resentful at Li, and the few who understood the hardships of this particular pairing had remained indifferent. Many of those had been from either the elders or the crew that sailed with them.
Many people had been baffled to see their rapid decline when one week Li was wrapped around Sokka sound asleep and doe eyed with affection, and the next, they were locked in bloody combat. It didn't make sense and those that pointed blame at all, had directed it primarily at Li. Bato understood why they may make such brash and angry assumptions and it frustrated both him and Hakoda that they couldn't correct these accusations, just quell them with stern looks and warnings.
It didn't slip Bato's or Hakoda's notice that Li was a rare face around the village either. He rarely left the hut unless Hama made him by sending him on errands or making him sit outside to keep the peace. The man was even more elusive and skittish than before. Bato couldn't imagine this being the new norm until spring. Something needed to change. Neither man could live like this.
At the early hours of morning when no news came, Alik had finally ceased his pacing long enough to settle on a bench, jittery and exhausted with Kela tucked against his side talking to him. Bato decided to go check on Humpy and give him his morning feed a touch early just to give himself something else to focus on. Stepping outside of the longhouse, he was greeted with fresh snow on the ground making the terrain slippery and treacherous under his boots. The long walk to the stables was enough to clear his head as he pushed the large door open and found the lanterns were still lit. The buffalo yaks were sound asleep in their stalls, never rousing to his passing steps as he made his way to the back where Humpy resided.
The camel lifted his head to greet his owner with a grunt, indifferent to the odd addition to his stall. Bato was surprised to find the soldier asleep next to the camel, all bundled up and shivering in his cloak. Even more surprised that Humpy had adjusted himself to lay his head and neck so it was tucked around Li to cradle him and keep him warm against the cold night.
Spirits, he should have considered the problem with Li staying in the hut. He had nowhere else to go if the hut was occupied. They were entering the busy season for babies, with Alik's wife kicking off the first of many to come. If Li spent every night sleeping in the stalls like this, spirits, he was going to freeze to death.
Opening the door, he stepped inside and crouched near the soldier. Humpy grunted his disapproval at the prospect of waking the man but Bato chuckled softly. "Don't worry. He'll have a better place to sleep." A judgemental stare met his words as the camel grunted in offense.
"I'm not saying you don't make a fantastic pillow, but he isn't cut out for our weather. He'll freeze." A dismissive grunt as Humpy turned his head away from Bato. The older man pouted and stroked the side of Humpy's face affectionately. "Aww I didn't mean it like that. You're still my best boy."
Humpy shifted away from Li offering permission for his owner to take his temporary charge. Bato was grateful for the approval as he had no intention of getting bitten today for trying to take what Humpy wasn't intent on giving up.
Cautiously, he reached out to give the young man's leg a shake as he spoke a little louder in Fire Nation. "Li. Hey, wake up."
The soldier stirred with a start, coming unraveled in a flurry of panicked motions as he shoved his cloak away from his face and whirled on Bato in alarm. The tribesman tried not to take it personally when Li seemed to recognize him and shrink away nervously, going pale as his eyes darted anxiously towards the door. It had been quite some time since the soldier had been this strung out in Bato's presence and he really couldn't blame him for feeling afraid after everything that's happened lately. His left hand cradled his right side hesitantly as he shivered, trembling either from fear, adrenaline or the cold as he regarded Bato warily.
The tribesman held his hands up to calm the soldier and offered the best disarming smile he could. Unfortunately all he could muster was a tired one after the long night with Alik. Sokka was much better at this than he was, which really didn't bode well for him at all.
"It's alright. You're okay." He tried to calm the young man but it only seemed to make him more twitchy and uncertain. "Are you alright, Li?"
The soldier tensed at the question and hesitantly nodded like he didn't really know how to answer that.
"Are you cold?" He asked cautiously. Another uncertain response as he shook his head. Bato noted that the young man was both shivering uncontrollably and his lips were starting to turn the faintest touch of blue and he was reminded that this man was a terrible liar.
"Come with me. You can sleep somewhere warmer until Hama is done, alright?" He offered a hand to help the young man up but Li looked confused by the gesture. His good eye flitted back to find Humpy's snout gently nudging his shoulder in his owner's direction, encouraging him forward like a skittish calf. Li made a noise in his throat at the motion and sucked in a sharp breath before slowly unwinding from his defensive posture.
He hesitantly accepted Bato's hand as the tribesman pulled him up to his feet and dusted his cloak off. Li shivered even more and hunched in on himself to keep warm now that he wasn't being enveloped by a camel. Bato's hand rested gently against his shoulder, testing whether the gesture would be accepted at first before guiding Li out of the stable and towards his own house. The soldier was painfully quiet as he often always was when distressed and that had Bato feeling uneasy in it's own way. This young man was a Prince and to have this as such an ingrained instinctive response at the first sign of a potential threat made Bato sick just thinking about it. He had been there in the steam bath when they all saw Li's scars. Tekk's words still haunted him and now they brought a new concerning question to mind.
'How does a Prince of the Fire Nation end up being whipped by his own countrymen?' He supposed the better question would lend towards who exactly would have the power and position to authorize something like that.
The young man didn't act in the way he'd expect from a Prince, or any sort of nobility if Lady Ezra was a sign of what the collective entailed. He supposed the military service may have been cause to change that, but it felt like they were still missing something more to this. If Li knew that his country thought he was dead, and spring was an opportunity for him to return and leave the Water Tribes, then going home to his own people would do just as much in informing the Earth Kingdom that the Fire Prince had not been killed by the Water Tribes and would offer leniency in the terms of trade, and potentially reinstate their agreement. So why would he choose to be bartered off to the Earth Kingdom instead of going back home to his people where he was guaranteed freedom? This didn't exactly sit right with Bato, and the more he thought about it the more unhappy he felt.
Once inside the home, Bato steered Li to take a seat on the sofa while he turned his attention towards the hearth. It only took a few minutes to get it back to burning at a satisfying rate. Li remained quiet still as he huddled up on the sofa where a few furs had been left to relax comfortably. The young man did not appear anymore relaxed than he had in the stable. Bato couldn't exactly help with that but he could offer the soldier a drink and some food in the meantime. A full stomach was a quick fix for any situation as far as he was concerned.
Well, the full stomach was a success at least. Li ate like a man that hadn't seen food in weeks which was either a testament to Bato's cooking or a sad acknowledgment towards Hama's. He didn't know which and was a bit afraid to know the answer. After the warm meal, Li seemed to unwind a little bit but not by much. The only words he uttered were a softly spoken 'Thank you' for the food before he went back to being as quiet as a clam.
The tribesman nodded his approval and smiled reassuringly as he gathered a spare blanket for the soldier to wrap up in for now. Given his small size it was almost comical as the soldier wrapped it around himself until he resembled a cocoon with only the eerie gold of his eyes peeking out and the shaggy tumble of his messy hair falling into his face. His head bobbed as he started to nod off slowly against the sofa, drawing a quiet chuckle of amusement from Bato as he settled in his chair at the table. Thanks to Sokka, he couldn't exactly get the image of ferret out of his head every time he looked at the soldier, and that mental thought only seemed to stick harder as he watched the man try and fail to fend off sleep after a fulfilling meal. It wasn't long at all before he lost the battle indefinitely and conked right out like a polar dog after a long hunt.
It wasn't long before Hakoda came shuffling in looking far more drained than before he left the longhouse. Bato's heart went out to his lover as he waited quietly at the table. In his exhausted state, it took the chief a few minutes to recognize that there was something different after he hung his cold gear up. It started at the inspection of the noticeably too small cloak and the considerably smaller pair of boots on the mud mat. He turned a questioning brow towards Bato with concern before he spotted the huddled vaguely ferret shaped figure on the sofa.
"I found him sleeping in the stable this morning. He'd been there all night." Bato whispered, afraid to be too loud and rouse Li back awake when he'd only just found relief.
"Why was he- oh ." The incredulous question was thwarted when realization dawned on the chief, knitting his brows in an unhappy frown. "This is getting ridiculous." He mumbled, scrubbing his palms over his face in a groan. "I don't know what to do with these two."
Bato gave the chair beside him a gentle shove with his foot. Hakoda accepted the silent command to take a seat and deflated against the frame with a heavy sigh. "You hungry?"
Hakoda shook his head. "Mom is still helping Hama so I made breakfast for Sokka."
"How's he doing?"
"About as good as you'd expect." Hakoda admitted.
Bato frowned. "I was afraid of that."
"Yeah, me too." He turned tired eyes towards the soldier and asked. "How's he doing?"
"About as bad." Bato admitted. "He's back to being jumpy and silent all the time."
"I was afraid of that." Hakoda grumbled and buried his head into his hands. The beads in his braids clacked together as they jerked from the motion. Bato reached over to rub his palm across his lover's shoulders to comfort him.
"Time is a balm to all wounds." The tribesman supplied. Hakoda made an incredulous noise as he lifted his head to meet Bato's tired eyes with his own. The dark shadows hung like phantoms against his skin, making the chief seem far older than he truly was. It pained him to see his lover so distraught day after day with no way to relieve him of those burdens.
"Fong still hasn't answered the letter, and the Chiefs are convening here for a meeting to discuss the future of the Southern Tribes." Hakoda lamented. "This waiting game is infuriating. I just know that Fong is toying with us, making us stew as we're left to wonder whether the Earth Kingdom will agree."
"Or perhaps the Council of Five are debating it." Bato offered a brief shred of optimism even if he felt it lacking even as he said it. Stranger things have happened and considering their track record, he wouldn't be surprised.
Hakoda's shoulders slumped at that as he nodded miserably. "I just can't help but wonder if what I'm doing is right for the tribe anymore."
"Koda." Bato spoke sternly. "Look at me."
The chief lifted his eyes, his mouth set in a pitiful downturn as he struggled to hold himself together. Bato continued.
"You have done right by us, by the tribes and the South as a whole." He stated firmly. "If it wasn't for you, we would have starved years ago. You were the one that negotiated the trade in the first place. You were the one that ensured we stayed alive. You saw us through this war."
Bato noticed the slight quiver of his lover's lips and the quiet crinkle of dewy eyes as he listed closer to shattering. He held his arms open for the chief, dragging him into a strong embrace that half pulled him from his chair. Hakoda sagged into his arms as Bato continued, running his fingers through his lover's hair and smoothing a palm down his back in comforting circles.
"You're a good chief and a good father." Bato assured, rumbling praise into his lover's ear as he pressed his lips to his brow. "And you'll make an even better husband." The quiet breathy sound was amused in Hakoda's throat, though muffled from where he smothered himself into Bato's shoulder. "You'll do right by us. You always have. This is just a small storm in the ocean. You'll guide us to clear skies and smooth seas soon."
"And until then?" Hakoda murmured.
"And until then, you have a loyal crew watching your back." Bato hummed. The chief seemed to accept this as he lingered a moment more in Bato's arms before drawing back to straighten up. He looked a mess, and if Bato was being honest with himself, they all did. It's been a rough few weeks and they could all use a breather. He could only pray for it to come swiftly. It's all they had left these days.
To everyone's immense surprise, Alik's wife had twins. A healthy boy and a girl. Neither of which were named quite yet as Zuko had come to discover that a naming didn't happen until after the first year. There was a similar custom in the Fire Nation only they waited six months before granting a name to the child to ensure they would live long enough to bear it properly.
Hama kept him busy in the days after as they cleaned and prepared for the next pregnancy to come. Zuko found himself nervous with anticipation, jumping to his feet everytime the door opened expecting to hear the moans and whimpers of labor pains. After spending most of the day at Bato's, the tribesman had offered his couch to the prince for the next time with permission to enter whenever he needed to. He expressed the seriousness of this offer with the stern reminder of just how easy it is to freeze to death in the cold and that Humpy is not a suitable replacement in a pinch. Zuko was forced to admit that he did appreciate the offer and would certainly take it up again when the situation arose. Right now, he hoped that wouldn't be anytime soon as he tried to drown himself in busy work.
For the few tribesmen who didn't mind letting him tend to their daily aches and pains, it was a relief to lose himself in the monotony of treating minor burns from hot pans and cuts from irresponsible knife handling to upset stomachs, aching bones and migraines. Kirima came in with some concerning scratch marks after one of the birds got spooked and panicked and patiently waited as Zuko cleaned each wound with the utmost care and concentration. Meriwa had loomed nearby watching him like an eagle hawk the entire time which put him on edge, until he finished applying a secure bandage around Kirima's arm. Meriwa inspected the handiwork and gave her quiet nod of approval accompanied by a firm slap on the back that he assumed was supposed to be friendly though the force of it knocked the air from his chest and made his shoulder pop. He rubbed at it begrudgingly with a wince and watched the two women vacate the hut.
He treated twisted ankles from slippery ice, pinched fingers from doors and frostbite for the foolish. With each patient he helped, the sickening anxiety that had haunted him for over a week had started to burn away. He was greeted amicably by most and for the few who weren't as obvious in their tolerance, they offered a tiny nod and nothing more. It was enough to alleviate his worries as he worked and proved himself to be something useful still. Hama shared her pride in his progress and occasionally preened about her apprentice's skills making Zuko flush with embarrassment and duck his head.
Her good natured teasing helped him relax into the long days and made his stumbles through his Water Tribe speech lessons a lot less disheartening. As far as Hama was concerned, he was catching on quick once he stopped getting tongue tied. The secret came in having to sound things out more slowly in his head before he could say them, focusing intently on each syllable like he were visualizing what every sound was shaped like before it left his tongue. Nobody seemed bothered by his delayed responses when he tried to speak in their native tongue. Some snickered and teased, some nodded approvingly and a few, most often the mothers and occasionally the older crewmen would coach him through corrections. Being told how to say the word for sail while wrapping a broken finger was definitely a new one for him, but it offered a distraction to his patients who would rather laugh at his horrible pronunciations than focus on their own pain.
It was a particularly windy day and the hut had been quiet as many of the people remained nestled in their homes where it was warm and safe from the bitter cold bite of the wind. Snow flurries raced between the buildings as the wind howled and rattled against the door like a beast begging to be let in. Zuko couldn’t stifle the shiver that raced down his spine when a draft of air slipped in and made the central fire flicker and dance ominously. Today, Hama had him separating the leaves from the stalks on a few different types of plants as she prepared them for making a special ointment for weather related rashes.
“The dry air chafes the skin. The children and elderly are often more likely to get it.” She explained as she set a bottle of whale oil out to warm. Zuko grimaced at the smell and rolled his sleeves up as he worked the small knife carefully dissecting each useful piece and arranging them in their designated bowls. It was mind numbing work. Something he could appreciate as he hummed absently to himself.
He had finished a bushel when Hama shuffled over to inspect his work with a critical eye before inquiring. “What is it you’re humming?”
Zuko frowned, trying to recall what exactly the tune had been. He hadn’t even been paying much attention to it, just shifting to the tune as it danced on his tongue but now that he tried to recall it, he drew a blank.
“I don’t remember what I was humming.” He admitted sheepishly.
Hama thought for a moment then hummed it back at him. His face scrunched into a look of mild annoyance that drew a laugh from her chest. “Don’t give me that look, young man. You were the one humming it.”
Zuko groaned as he sat the knife down on the table in defeat. “It’s called Secret Tunnel.”
She grinned at him, her thin lips pulled tight against her mouth as she asked, her words dripping with amusement. “If you hate it so much, why were you humming it?”
He grimaced, brows knitted tight at the reminder. “A group of traveling musicians came to our camp once and played it like six times through the night. The rest of the men would start humming it out of the blue and now I’m stuck with it in my head. I swear it’s like a plague.” He huffed miserably.
She laughed at him, placing a withered hand on his shoulder in a gentle sympathetic pat. “Do you at least recall the words?”
“Please don’t make me sing it. Haven’t I suffered enough?” He pleaded, leaning back in his seat with a pout as she laughed at him again. She looked as if she were contemplating the request when the front door opened. The wind swept in like a fiend and sent a cold chill racing through Zuko as he hunkered over and wrapped his arms around himself. He turned to scowl at the offending guest and stilled when he spotted Chief Hakoda standing in the door stomping the snow off of his boots on the entry mat. He had a grim set to his shoulders and an apologetic look in his eyes when they met Zuko’s.
Hama straightened up at his side and crossed the room to greet the chief. Their voices dropped low and switched to their native tongue as they murmured just out of hearing range. Hama’s good natured mood had been snuffed out as her lips pressed into a thin line. She nodded her understanding before the chief turned to face Zuko. The prince rose from his seat to meet the tribesman before Hakoda shook his head.
“You’re going to want to be sitting down for this, Li.” He spoke cautiously in Fire Nation. Zuko noticed the letter in his grasp tied with the same red ribbon that he and Shin had been using as they traded letters back and forth. His gaze darted back up as he searched Hakoda’s eyes for an answer or a clue but the chief only looked remorseful.
Zuko sank back into his seat and waited as Hakoda glanced towards Hama. She stood beside him and nodded in silent agreement before he knelt before the prince and held the letter out. Zuko was afraid to reach for it, worried as to what it held.
“Li, I’m so sorry.” Hakoda began. “Shin didn’t understand the gravity of the things he wrote, so don’t hold that against him.” There was a pause as Hakoda took a deep breath as if the next words pained him to say. Zuko braced himself as best he could against them. “There was news that your mother passed away.”
It felt like he heard these words through a great wall of water as it rushed down around him in an ominous churning swell. They were muffled as they slowly trickled into his head and swirled around with jagged crystals of ice that scraped at him every time he snatched at them, leaving him bloody and aching in their wake. He couldn’t believe it, there had to be a mistake. This was a misunderstanding, it had to be. He swallowed thickly and tried to find his voice but it struggled to come out. His jaw gaped soundlessly before he finally found a place of purchase, however fleeting it may be.
“What?” It sounded hollow in the silence of the room. He swallowed again, his throat scraped raw around the ball that began to form in his throat. His attention lifted to find Hama watching him with a calculating eye before returning to find Hakoda’s apologetic eyes so full of regret and understanding.
“As far as we know, she took her own life the day after your birthday.” Hakoda explained gently. “The Fire Nation has declared it was the grief of losing her son that stole her from them.”
Zuko felt like his entire world was shattering. Disbelief struck him first, a painful denial to believe this was anything more than a farce. It had to be a misunderstanding. There was no way his mother would be gone, but the news, the timing, and the announcement of his death. Of course her heart wouldn’t have been able to take it. She had always been there for him, a constant presence at his side. A loving touch that consoled him. A gentle voice that cocooned him through nightmares and so much pain. Now it was gone. The light that awaited him in that cold palace had been snuffed out and he was lost to the cruelty of the world.
“No.” He exhaled slowly. “No- she can’t be.” His hands trembled as he raised them to wipe at the tears that fell, scrubbing them away as he tore his eyes away to stare down at the letter. He reached for it with a hesitant hand. Hakoda was reluctant to let it go, overlapping Zuko’s fingers with his own as he spoke in warning.
“The words in this letter do not treat it kindly.” He didn’t care. He needed to see the truth. He needed to know the proof written in the familiar letters of his homeland. He pulled it away from Hakoda’s grasp with a little more effort than was strictly necessary and untangled the ribbon with haste. He nearly ripped the paper open in his attempt to unfurl it and started reading through the tears that blurred, searching for the news. The introduction of the letter was a casual reply to their previous conversations so he searched the length until he found the footnote at the bottom. A last minute addition as Shin spoke of his sister who sent word of recent gossip involving the royal family.
There was a service in Caldera in honor of the Fire Prince’s birthday. Lady Ursa had apparently been adamant that it be carried out. It seemed strange to a lot of folks but who would say no to another excuse to party these days? The next day the news spread like a wildfire. She killed herself. Some servants let it slip that it may have been planned all along. Kind of makes you wonder how she did it though. My bet is on poison. She was too pretty to be the type for a knife or a rope.
Joking aside, sad news for the family. At this rate the Earth Kingdom doesn’t even need to fight the war. They could just sit on their hands until all the royals kicked the bucket themselves. Firelord Azulon’s health has been questionable lately so they’re expecting it won’t be long before the number rises to three. It sure makes you wonder how the world is turning these days.
He couldn’t breathe. The letter fell from his hands and tumbled to the floor as he wrapped his arms around himself and gasped for every breath. The tears fell faster than he could blink them away as he curled in on himself. His lungs locked up inside his chest as it felt impossibly tight.
“Li? Li!” Hakoda called his name as Zuko struggled for air. His head swam as he choked on a sob that wracked his whole body enough to nearly knock him from the chair. Hands reached for him to steady him but he shoved them off. All he could imagine was his mother’s body lying cold somewhere for someone else to find. Her beautiful face turned ashy and blue as poison burns in her veins, silencing her compassionate heart and stealing the last breath from her lungs. He let out a strangled noise that might have been speech or just the wails of despair he felt coursing through him. He tried to stand but his knees gave out and the world spun dizzily around him. Hakoda’s hands settled on his shoulders even as Zuko tried to paw them off with a scream of anger that fizzled out into another sob. He crumpled to the floor at their feet with the chief’s arms wrapped firmly around him, holding him as he cried.
His breath came in little rushes of air that he sucked into his lungs before they were lost quickly in the whimpers and wails that thundered through his whole body.
Hakoda had expected something like this, but it didn’t lessen the pain any to see the young man shatter so completely. The anguish that he felt roared loudly in the small hut as Hakoda held him tightly in his arms, rocking the soldier gently with quiet hushes. It was all he could offer, having felt this same pain before when he lost Kya. At least for him he had seen it coming as she withered away through the winter. This was so sudden for the prince and to know it was his perceived death that had caused it, the guilt of knowing would crush any decent man. It wasn’t Zuko’s fault. It wasn’t Shin’s fault for writing about homeland gossip. It wasn’t even Sokka’s fault because he hadn’t known this would happen. It was a consequence of unexpected circumstances that none of them could have anticipated.
Hama flitted about anxiously as the prince howled and sobbed and gasped through little bursts of air that his lungs just couldn’t quite keep up with. His head hung heavy as his fingers fisted into Hakoda’s parka, caught between holding tight to the tribesman and trying to shove him away. The man had little strength to offer either attempts as he sagged. Eventually he started to quiet, drawing a frown of concern at its suddenness as the prince seemed to settle heavily against Hakoda.
“Li?” He asked gently, tilting his head as he lifted a hand to catch the younger man’s chin. His eyes were shut and his face went slack as he breathed much slower.
“Oh good. He finally fainted.” Hama breathed a sigh of relief.
“I wouldn’t exactly call that good.” Hakoda blanched, shooting her an incredulous look.
“It’ll give his body a chance to reset after all of that.” She gestured at the soldier as she approached with a warm damp rag. She handed it off to Hakoda with the direction to clean the man up a bit. He wiped away the soldier’s tear streaks and cleaned his face up in a manner that reminded him of all the times he tended to Sokka when he was young enough to still seek his father out when upset. When he was finished, he scooped the young man up in his arms and felt uneasy at just how small he felt against Hakoda’s chest. He knew Zuko was tiny, that fact was clear as day but this was his first time being close enough to the man to truly understand just how light he was and how small his limbs were. It was unsettling as he carried the prince to the cot Hama had pointed out was the one the soldier had taken to sleeping in each night.
Hakoda laid him down on it and pulled the furs over him with care, tucking them in around the soldier to keep him warm and offer a brief sense of comfort. Hama shuffled over to the chief and peered down at the younger man as he started to move again on his own. His good eye opened just a sliver. Both eyes were swollen, with the right one red ringed and bloodshot. The scarred one remained shut as Zuko seemed to slowly be recovering from his collapse.
“See, he’s fine.” She assured Hakoda with a firm pat to his arm. “Fainting fixes a lot of issues.”
“I don’t think this counts.” Hakoda countered and returned his attention to the soldier as he crouched beside the cot. “Li?”
That single gold eye slid towards Hakoda for a few seconds before drifting back away to stare at the ceiling above. The chief’s brows creased with worry as he waited a moment but Zuko didn’t move. He didn’t unfurl from the furs or make a sound. Hakoda was reminded of those unpleasant days on the ship when the prince had gone too still and too quiet. He moved autonomously at Sokka’s behest causing quite a bit of anger on his son’s part to be directed towards the chief. He understood that anger now, and the sense of unfairness that had been dealt to the prince. He truly has sacrificed everything for them and Hakoda couldn’t help but feel they had fallen terrifyingly short in being worthy of it all.
Hakoda couldn’t help but worry as he slipped into the healer's hut frequently to check on the soldier. Every time he came in, Zuko was still curled up on the cot where he left him no matter how many hours had passed. When he asked Hama about it, she just shrugged absently.
“Sometimes this happens after traumatic events. He’ll figure himself out on his own when he’s ready.” She assured him. The chief wasn’t comforted by that assurance and loitered to watch the soldier as he interacted with Hama. Or more like when Hama interacted with him. Just as Sokka had so many times, and the rest of the crew had learned to do over those months, she approached him from the right side and spoke softly. She telegraphed every movement so he could see it before she did anything. He went about the motions of eating whatever she physically put in his hands, well aware that he wouldn’t act if she didn’t, and following the direction of her touch as she coaxed him to sit up or lay down. He stared at a singular point in the wall or ceiling and never spoke a word.
One of the times he visited, it had grown late in the evening as he slipped inside to check on Zuko on his way home when he spotted Kela sitting in a chair beside the prince’s cot. He was speaking quietly to him, soft enough that Hakoda had to step a little closer to hear that it was another of their spirit tales. The soldier remained still and quiet but he was sitting upright with his hands folded in his lap. His eyes were fixed on the furs but the slight tilt of his head told the chief he was listening well to every word.
When Kela finished his story, he noticed Hakoda standing near the wall listening just as intently. He smiled sheepishly towards the chief and rose from his seat as he patted Zuko gently on the shoulder.
“See you later, okay?” There was no answer but Kela wasn’t bothered by the absence of conversation. He approached Hakoda with a nervous smile. Hakoda raised a questioning brow. The tribesman held up his bandaged hand and looked sheepish. “Came for some stitches, stayed to share a tale. Figured he could use one right now.”
Hakoda nodded. “Yeah, he certainly could.”
Kela sighed, turning his gaze to follow the chief’s towards the soldier as he spoke. “Hama told me he got some bad news about family back home. I feel for the kid. After everything that’s happened around here and now this. He just can’t catch a break.” His smile was apologetic as he added. “How’s Sokka doing?”
“Better.” Hakoda admitted tiredly. His son was more active now that his stitches were out and Kanna was keeping him busy helping with trivial work around the house. He didn’t leave it often but when he did, it was usually by Katara’s side as she dragged him along to help with work in the longhouse or at Pana’s. It’d been quite a while since he last saw his son helping with laundry but Sokka looked eager to be doing anything that offered a distraction that kept his hands busy. He wouldn’t say that Sokka was recovering well because the grief still hung on him like a blanket of deep snow building on an avalanche. He just hoped he wouldn’t hit the breaking point.
“Give it time, chief.” Kela reassured quietly. “They’ll get there.”
“I hope so.” Hakoda sighed.
Notes:
Are we hurting yet? Are there tears? I'm ready for the light at the end of the tunnel. Hope yall are too.
Sadly, we're in this for a little longer.
Chapter 34
Summary:
Sokka has a bone to pick.
Zuko gets a visitor.
Hakoda needs a nap.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
It was late afternoon when Katara and Gran Gran went racing out of the house in their haste after one of Pana’s daughters came to inform them that two more women in the tribe had started labor at the same time. The warrior had spent much of the morning helping shovel snow as it fell in fat clumps again covering the ground in a few soft inches. He straightened up, leaning against the shovel as he watched his sister race out, her parka hastily pulled over her head as she moved quickly with Gran Gran pulling up the rear as they navigated the half finished paths. Tonuk had edged his way along as he carved out the route heading away from Hama’s and towards the Gull house. Kela was just finishing up his own area and had come to aid them both, greeting Sokka with a friendly smile as he crunched the ice under his boots.
The busy work was a welcome relief as he focused on the cold that nipped his nose and the ache in his back from being bent over the shovel for so long. It chased away the phantom aches where pink scar tissue still itched from time to time. The salves that Hama made for him to cover the scars helped relieve the tenderness some but it couldn’t chase off the memories that made his chest tight and his nights restless.
“Anyone up for a game of pai sho after this?” Tonuk pondered, shooting them both a curious glance. Sokka flexed his shoulders and shook his head as he stretched his fingers inside his gloves and felt the slight ache in his hands from gripping the handle so hard.
“Not really in the mood.” He admitted quietly. Tonuk shrugged and turned towards Kela with a hopeful look.
“What about you, Ke?” Tonuk tossed a small handful of snow in the other tribesman’s direction when he perked up to answer, looking lost in thought.
“Hm?” He asked, puzzled as his friend.
“Pai sho after this?”
“Oh, uh maybe later.” Kela shoveled a larger heap of snow to the side and stared at the pile thoughtfully. "I was going to swing by Hama’s after this.”
“What? Why?” Tonuk stood up to give him a worried once over. Sokka couldn’t help but do the same. Kela had seemed a bit out of it today but he assumed that was just an one off thing, Concern crept across his thoughts, a similar sense had troubled Tonuk as well as he stepped towards his friend. “You feeling alright buddy?”
“Hm?” Kela frowned at that before realization clicked. “Oh, no it’s not for me.” He held his hands up quickly in defense, letting the shovel handle thump his chest now that nothing was keeping it upright.
He glanced towards Sokka, looking uncomfortable for a minute before he finally admitted. “I was going to check on Li.”
Sokka felt his stomach tighten into a knot at the mention of the soldier’s false name. Kela looked worried even through the wind nipped redness of his face and the low hang of his parka hood. Tonuk froze in place and shot Sokka a cautious glance in the corner of his eye. The warrior didn’t miss the way they were tiptoeing on the topic around him. How everyone seemed to neglect the soldier’s presence entirely when he was around. His father deflected his questions easily when the topic came up and Katara acted like Zuko had never spent a single moment in their home, going about the days like he were a ghost in Sokka’s head. It was jarring and unsettling and put Sokka on edge. He didn’t want to treat Zuko like some taboo topic, especially when the man was still living among them. It was cruel and only made the guilt in his heart grow heavier.
“What’s wrong with Li?” Sokka asked, deciding that if anyone was going to shatter this habit, it should be him. He stiffened as Kela gave him an uneasy look. He tore it away to shoot an unreadable one towards Tonuk before sighing in defeat.
“I’m not really sure if I’m supposed to be talking about it or not, so if anyone asks, it wasn’t me.” Kela stated bluntly, giving both men a stern look.
Sokka nodded his affirmative. “My lips are sealed, now tell me. Quit stalling Kela.” He stepped closer to the tribesman, forcing all three to huddle together to lower their voices as he listened.
“He got some bad news a couple days ago about one of his family members back in the Fire Nation.” Kela explained, shifting the shovel handle to his other hand to toy with it idly. “He was in really bad shape when I went to see Hama after I cut my hand.” He held up the hand in question and sighed. “A lot like how he was on the ship after the Gemsbok Bull hunt.”
“Shit.” Tonuk hissed. “That’s not good.”
“No, it isn’t.” Sokka agreed, his voice dropping a few degrees. It came out cold and frustrated. He was no longer Zuko’s caretaker meaning he couldn't help him through this. He wasn’t even sure if the prince would even want him to, and he had no idea if Hama knew how to deal with him like this at all. He supposed any attempts to help might be unwanted and the last thing he needed was getting a warning by Gran Gran or his dad for sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong anymore. It hurt a lot knowing there was something he could do but everything was working against him and preventing him from stepping in.
“Well, I doubt he’ll be there now.” Tonuk offered with a heavier sigh, turning his head towards the paths that were already cleared as they started to be covered once more in a light dusting of snow.
Kela and Sokka both gave him a peculiar look. “Why is that?” Kela asked.
“Well, one of Pana’s daughters is giving birth and so is Chinuk’s wife.” Tonuk answered matter-of-fact. “Even if he is Hama’s apprentice, he is both a man and if he’s as bad off as you said, Kela, Hama might not let him stay in the healer's hut during this.”
“Fuck.” Sokka growled out. “Where else would he go then?” The question came and Sokka had no answer and neither did the other two tribesmen. He understood that the Elders had made this decision to exchange his caretakers but the least they could have done was hand him off to someone who could actually offer the soldier a safe quiet place to go. It was birthing season and if Zuko was being shoved out of the hut every time a baby was born for hours on end, especially now of all times- Sokka gripped the handle of the shovel hard enough to make the wood creak under the pressure.
Tonuk shifted uneasily as he watched Sokka with a wary look. “I heard that he was sleeping in the stables when Alik’s wife had her baby. It wasn’t the first time some folks had seen him in there when Hama had to kick him out of the hut for certain people.”
“It’s winter.” Sokka hissed in annoyance, throwing the shovel down into the snow with a growl. “For La’s sake, he was cold enough as is when we had mild weather. What the fuck are they thinking?”
“Sokka, calm down.” Kela urged, raising a placating hand to rest on the warrior’s shoulder. “He might be spending time at the longhouse or staying with someone else right now.”
“Right, because that’s exactly what he needs right now. To be sitting in a stranger’s house when he’s like that.” He scoffed derisively, his anger rising steadily in his veins. “This is fucking ridiculous.”
“Sokka, I get that you’re upset.” Tonuk started carefully. “But you can’t always be there for Li. This probably isn’t the first time he’s had to go through this on his own. He’ll manage.”
That didn’t make Sokka feel the slightest bit better in knowing. They didn’t understand. They didn’t deal with the prince the way Sokka had. They haven’t seen him when he’s like that. When he’s absent and afraid all the time. So tightly wound up that he might shatter if someone so much as touches him wrong. And now his caretaker is just shoving him off on some random person-
He growled, feeling a sharp pain in his chest just thinking about it. The agonizing guilt because if he had just done better by Zuko. If he had done more, then the prince wouldn’t be in this situation or feel as if he had to make the choices he did that landed him here. It wasn’t fair and he despised it. He tried to be good. He tried to make things right. He did his best and he still lost it all, and here Hama is half assing Zuko’s care and nobody is batting an eye. Not a single elder is intervening. Where’s the stern looks? Where’s the hovering, the warnings, the criticism and nitpicking? Why was Sokka the outlier? Why was he the one constantly under fire for every decision he made?
Sokka couldn’t stop from feeling angry about that as he pulled away from the two tribesmen and focused on shoveling the stupid fucking paths. He funneled all of his frustration and anger into every scoop, clearing it away in tense silence. He hadn’t realized how hard he was clenching his jaw through it all until it started to ache and the muscle in his neck twinged painfully but he ignored it as he ploughed through the rest of the task. His mind was buried in the racing thoughts and questions that assaulted him, all the things he wanted to scream and shout at the council. All the questions he demanded answers for because none of this made sense. How was this fair? How was enforcing this decision, allowing Li to go to a caretaker that couldn’t care for all of his needs the way it was expected, a sound decision? It’s winter. If Hama is kicking him out in the dead of winter for him to sleep in the stables like this, Zuko will freeze to death and that just infuriated Sokka even further until every step was a stomp. The shovel dug through the snow and scraped the soil beneath with reckless abandon. He chipped through ice without thinking. He was only forced to stop when he somehow managed to snap the shovel in half with the force of his motions, causing both Tonuk and Kela to stare after him with jaws agape in shock.
Sokka glared at the broken splintered wood with displeasure. “The spare should be at Bato’s. I’ll be back.” He huffed to the tribesmen as he turned away, tossing the broken pieces back behind Gran Gran’s house where the small tool alcove was tucked near the wood pile and stomped off towards Bato’s house.
Most of the paths had already been cleared by the other tribesmen who scattered in a force of efficiency to provide the village with easier travel. Sometimes it surprised him to consider the little things that made a big difference in the long run, and how it rippled out so easily when even one of those tasks failed to be carried out. Of course they had rules, they had traditions and protocols and habits that made sense. But sometimes change was for the better and sometimes it could be for the worse. Only time would prove which would lend to that fact. All he could think about in terms of that was this startling change that forced him to give up the one thing that felt like it mattered to him.
He and Zuko clicked that night in the forest. Like something had settled over them when their weapons clashed and their eyes met in the dark. Zuko’s glowed like eerie flames that danced in the shadows and entranced him. He couldn’t deny the shockwaves that rippled through him or just how right it felt every time the soldier was near him. It was a sign from the spirits. Whether Zuko was meant to be with him or just meant to be with their tribes he had yet to understand but there was a reason for these things. There was a purpose to why Sokka chose him of all people, and he turned out to be the prince they were sent to capture anyway. It was the reason why Sokka couldn’t stop thinking about him or dreaming of him every night. He couldn’t get Zuko out of his head no matter how hard he tried.
Sokka remembered when his mother and Nanouk would tell them of spirit tales as children. Of the intricate webs of fate that wove their entire world together. That tied two souls across the stretch of the world and ensured they would cross paths eventually for a greater purpose. He thought them nothing more than fantasies, but even with science, Sokka had trouble explaining these feelings he was having. Not just the emotional sense, but this impending dread that sank in his gut.
He normally wasn’t one to believe in omens, he had batted the thought away time and again, but he couldn’t ignore instinct. And if his instincts heeded the omen, then he would as well. If there was one thing he had learned in his twenty-five years it was that instincts keep you alive, whether you’re man or beast. It burrowed right down to his bones and had him restless like a bear pacing about its cave with the coming winter cold. It had him wound tight and agitated each time he woke with the vision of Zuko standing in the deep snow with a lantern backlit against his shivering figure. The echo of his voice calling for Sokka would continue to ring in his ears for most of the morning until the day’s distractions would help him shake it.
It had his skin itching with mounting anxiety until he was left short of breath and shaking. Any questions about the soldier’s well being that he sprung towards Gran Gran or dad were rerouted or left as vague as possible, whittled down to the bare bones of an answer that would fit anybody on any given day. It didn’t silence the pain he felt in his gut or the way his heart rattled like a drumbeat against his ribs until he was left gasping and cold all over. They only watched him with pity and patronized him with quiet words and outstretched arms that didn’t actually care. If they really cared they’d give him a straight answer. They’d treat him like a fucking man and not a child.
He had a right to be angry but they didn’t see that. They prattled excuses and sent him off with tedious errands like that would quiet the doubts that bounced inside his head. It couldn’t quiet the voice that carved a place into his brain that reminded him that he had failed once again, and he was going to lose another person to the bitter cold of winter’s fury.
Sokka knocked at Bato’s door before letting himself in as he shuffled against the whipping wind that pelted his back and made the handle creak under his grasp. It was warmer inside the house where the older man was seated at the table quietly reading with a book splayed out across the surface and a tankard at his side. He lifted his eyes with a puzzled furrow to his brow as Sokka shook the snow off himself and shuffled in where the fire warmed the rest of the home. He felt the way it caressed the cold nip of his face and crept heat down his neck.
"Sokka, what are you doing here?" He asked in their native tongue as the warrior raised his own quizzical brow. Bato had straightened up in his seat as if preparing to get up for whatever reason.
"I need to borrow the spare shovel." He answered easily. "And I was hoping to talk to dad-" His words died in his throat when a familiar huddled shape caught his attention. The stretch of pale skin along the unscarred half of Zuko's face peeked out from under the large woven blanket that was wrapped around the soldier. His expression was relaxed in the throng of sleep as he curled into a tight ball on the sofa. It was unlike the comfortable relaxed sprawl that Sokka had grown accustomed to seeing from the other man. The shameless lack of personal space and boundaries he exhibited in Sokka's presence as he flopped, stretched and wrapped himself around the tribesman.
Here the prince looked so small and fragile. There were dark shadows under his good eye that made his unscarred skin look so much paler in contrast. Kela was right. Zuko looked to be in rough shape and Sokka ached to reach out and touch him. To run his fingers comfortingly through his hair and drag Zuko over to rest against his body. To make him feel safe just by being there.
Sokka swallowed thickly. The overly familiar burn of tears pressed against the back of his eyes. His throat felt raw and scratchy again and he opted to blame it on the dry air after the hours of working in the biting cold. He cleared his throat and forced his gaze to tear away from Zuko, painfully aware that Bato was watching him like an eagle hawk. He forced the tension to unwind from his shoulders and focused on the dull ache of tired feet and the sting of his back from hours of labor. These were the simple pains. The bitter end to a day of meaningful labor. The pain that accompanied a fulfilling purpose.
"Sokka?" Bato asked cautiously.
The warrior forced the air to leave his lungs as he repeated his question. "The spare shovel." He started. "Gran Gran's broke. We haven't finished clearing the paths yet."
Bato raised a brow, a quiet consideration before he sighed. "It's in the stable by the front door. I used it just this morning."
Sokka nodded but didn't budge from his spot. His eyes darted back to where Zuko slept as he watched the prince with so much yearning. "Is he staying with you now?" Sokka asked, cautious and hopeful. He pleaded that Bato won't evade his questions like Gran Gran and dad often do.
The older man was quiet for a long time. The silence stretched and filled Sokka with so much grief. It made him feel sick to his stomach. After another beat the older man finally broke and answered, allowing him a reprieve from the misery. "For now until the hut is free again. I told him he could come here to sleep or find a quiet place to wait it out whenever he wanted."
Chasing the small mercy while he could, he asked a touch more boldly. "How is he doing?"
Bato considered his words carefully before answering, but Sokka couldn't begrudge him that when he was one of the few people still willing to engage in the topic with him at all. "He's had a rough time lately but he'll recover."
Sokka nodded again and fidgeted a moment as he scanned Bato's home thoughtfully. His attention fell on the small cloak hanging by the door and the familiar worn out satchel that Zuko always carried with him. Sokka gestured at the bag as he asked. "Mind if I check something really quick?"
Bato stared after him with confusion. "I don't understand why you'd want to." The older man grunted. Sokka took that as permission enough and slipped the buckle free. Peeking inside, he frowned at the contents as he pawed around before settling the buckle back in place.
"What?" Bato asked, leaning back in his chair as the wood creaked under the motion.
"The tea isn't in here." Sokka furrowed his brows as he shot a glance back at the soldier. "Did Hama give him the bag?"
"No, she gave it to me." Bato asked, sitting forward with worry. "Why?"
"The tea is missing." Bato looked confused again as Sokka sighed and elaborated. "He likes tea. The smell of it." He gestured at the way Zuko was huddled up in a tight defensive ball. "It comforts him. Especially when he's like that."
"Oh." It suddenly clicked as Bato straightened up and examined the prince thoughtfully. "That's why your cabin always reeked of it."
Sokka rolled his eyes and grumbled. "Yeah, yeah. Tell Hama to use the tea next time. Don't make it. He doesn't drink it. Just put the canister in his lap or sit it next to him with the lid off. He'll do the rest."
"Sokka-" Bato started with a tired warning in his voice but the warrior wasn't going to sit in on another lecture.
"I know, it's not my place to say anything. Just pass it along, please." He waved Bato off as he shuffled back towards the door and braced himself for the cold wind once more.
Hakoda was a busy man with the chiefs all gathering to discuss the future of the Southern Tribes. Tekkeitsertok was set to arrive later today with Kanut of the Caribou and Tuktu of the Orcas following the next day. The Elders needed to be addressed but his mother and Pana were preoccupied helping Hama, which left Hakoda pacing restlessly back to Bato's for a small break and to warm up. When he arrived, he had already expected to find the soldier curled up on the sofa as he had been for the last two days straight.
He couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards Sokka's efforts in those early weeks as he managed to figure out how to handle the soldier when he was in this half lucidity. Considering his son was neither a healer nor experienced at all in this sort of thing, he was both impressed and proud, while simultaneously wishing he could borrow the younger man's patience and wisdom. Because this was entirely unsettling to deal with for an extensive amount of time.
He hadn't been looking forward to the awkward silence or extended hours of absent staring in between brief breaks when the soldier would tire himself out into a state of dead sleep. Neither he or Bato could ignore the quiet whimpers that came from the prince at times when he slept fitfully or the soft utterances of Sokka's name when Hakoda was around. It pained him to know that he couldn't give either of them what they wanted and so they tried their best to make the situation work.
Today, the chief was completely surprised by two things. One, the strong smell of Ginseng tea that hit him as soon as he entered and shut the front door. Secondly, the considerably more lucid and aware prince that was sitting on the floor now, in lotus pose with one of the tea tins he often carried on him now seated in front of him. The lid was off and balancing on his knee as one hand idly traced the white flower shape.
Hakoda couldn't help but stare as he was frozen in place halfway between pulling his cold gear off before he finally shook himself out of the shock. He pulled his parka over his head and shot a questioning look towards Bato who was busy in the kitchen space preparing a meal. He chuckled in amusement at his lover's confusion in between cutting vegetables up into little bite sized chunks to be cooked down.
"Where was the tea trick the other night?" Hakoda asked, speaking low in Water Tribe. His voice rumbled into Bato's ear as he pressed a kiss to his betrothed's lips and smiled up at him in greeting.
"Apparently still at Hama's." Bato answered coolly. "I had to go get it this morning."
"Ah." Hakoda grunted in understanding. "What made you think to use it?"
The amusement in the older man's expression melted away to something conflicted that made Hakoda sigh. "Don't tell me. Sokka?"
Bato nodded.
Hakoda groaned. "He shouldn't be getting involved like this right now."
"He knows." Bato assured gently. "He stopped by yesterday to borrow the shovel and saw Li asleep on the couch."
Hakoda frowned, but Bato shook his head and raised an arm to wrap around him, pulling them together until their foreheads touched in an affectionate bump. "He offered a bit of advice to pass on to Hama, that's all. And look." Bato gestured over to where Zuko was still seated on the floor deep in meditation. "It had a positive outcome."
"I understand that but-"
"We don't squander knowledge that benefits us as a whole. Sokka understood that there are limits to his involvement but offering his knowledge on a situation that the rest of us lack isn't an attempt to overstep." Bato hummed as he stroked a hand along the frigid nape of Hakoda's neck. The chief shivered when warm fingers curled against the damp ends of his hair where flakes of snow had melted.
He heaved an exasperated sigh in defeat and nodded. "Alright. Fine."
Bato grinned, pressing another kiss to his lips before they parted. "Go get cleaned up and relax, my love. It'll do us all some good."
The chief was determined to try at least. He cast a glance back at where the soldier sat, looking far more relaxed now than he had in weeks. Not since the night he admitted his identity to Hakoda and they shared that brief moment in Kanna's where they still felt like a family before this great pain left a jagged ravine in its wake that split them apart. It had been a rough time for everyone, but none had suffered more in its aftermath than those two young men.
A part of Hakoda was at least relieved that despite the pain Zuko had inflicted for the sake of what he thought was right, Sokka didn't allow it to turn him bitter and cold. He still cared about the soldier. He still worried and fretted over his well being. He still asked questions and chased after scraps of information that everyone else had taken to painstaking lengths to keep away from him out of a courtesy to his healing heart, and was still determined to understand. He was unyielding in his determination at least and still so full of love. It pained Hakoda, tethering him to such a burden to bear as he juggled being the father he wanted to be with being the chief he had to be. It wasn't a fair trade for either him or his family.
"Li!" Zuko's head snapped up in alarm at the sound of a voice calling his name from the entrance of the hut. He turned to find Shin swaggering casually towards him with his arms outstretched in greeting. They met in a Water Tribe embrace before the older man patted him firmly on the shoulder and grinned. The prince was still a bit out of sorts and had only been back in Hama's hut for a day before Tekkeitsertok's ship had apparently arrived for the meeting of chiefs.
Zuko hadn't even taken into consideration that Shin might join them. He stared at the other man for a long moment, still trying to make sense of the day after he felt like he'd been drowning in a daydream all morning. He was still trying to shake off the dizzying grief that hung heavy in both his heart and his mind. Seeing Shin was both a relief and a burden as he was reminded of those painful words etched into paper.
As the trapper did in all things, he took Zuko's delayed response in stride and eased his enthusiasm back a touch. His hand still lingered on the prince's shoulder out of habit as he took the chance to give the scrolls before him a once over. Zuko vaguely recalled they were about native plants in Kyoshi or something similar but he'd spent all morning trying to commit the words to memory only for them to go in and slip right back out of his mind. He was still struggling with staying grounded in the here and now, and the firm grip on his arm had helped a little in giving him a place to focus and root.
“What are you doing here?” Zuko asked, turning a curious look towards the man once he managed to get more of his wits about him. Shin grinned at him, smoothing his hand along his shoulder in a friendly partial embrace.
“I came to see if you’d like to go hunting with me.” He chimed. “What better way to put those tricks of the trade to use than now? It’s a lot harder setting snares in snow than you know.”
“Oh.” Zuko nodded belatedly. His thoughts flickered back to the letters they wrote back and forth, of the promises Shin made to show him a few tricks in person. He had been excited about the idea before, and was even looking forward to expanding on the skill but now he still felt a bit too hollow to fully appreciate the opportunity. “Right. Um….” He turned to glance back at where Hama was washing some bandages and setting them up to dry near the fire.
“Hama?” He called timidly in Water Tribe, giving his speech a bit more practice. The healer hummed pleasantly in answer as she finished wringing out one of the bandages over the bucket.
“Yes my dear?”
“Would it be alright if I go hunting with Shin?” It felt strange having to ask permission for something like this. Zuko wasn’t necessarily accustomed to needing to ask for permission to do things, especially personal activities like this. He was sort of his own boss, and even then, during his time in the navy, Uncle was his commanding officer and the old dragon never minded what he chose to do with his free time. Just as long as he didn’t cause any trouble and was back by their scheduled departure, he was permitted to do as he pleased. Being among the Water Tribes made him feel like a young boy more often than not, always needing to heed his mother’s words or follow the directions of the doctors before being allowed to do anything he wanted like leaving his bedchamber to sit in the garden and feed the turtleducks or play with Azula.
Hama raised her tired old eyes to inspect the two Fire Nation men as Zuko offered a sheepish smile that only made Shin’s broad cheeky grin look all the larger as he pleaded to her with hopeful eyes. “When?”
“If we’re going to set the snares right, we’ll need to get going soon before dark.” Shin answered easily. “We won’t go too far.”
She tapped her nail against the bucket in contemplation before nodding her consent. “Alright then. But I expect to have him back this evening. He has work to do.”
Zuko nodded quickly in agreement. “Of course. Thank you Hama.” Shin chuckled, giving his shoulder a firm pat. He made quick work of cleaning up his workspace now that he had a goal to focus on and a more grounding task. Shin loitered and provided opinions as he went, teasing the prince gently as he pulled on his heaviest cold weather gear he had and bundled up tighter than a tigerdillo. Shin left part way through to go collect what they’d need for the hunt with the promise to meet by the stables when they were ready.
The soldier took the time to pack his satchel with emergency supplies, especially after the blunder that happened on his last hunt with Sokka. Injuries were a cause for concern and he wasn’t about to walk out there unprepared. Hama teased him gently but praised him for his precautions as she handed him clean bandages and salves to replenish his stock from the last time he dug into them after the Agni Kai. He slipped the satchel over his head and carried a waterskin tucked beside it before donning his dao on the opposite shoulder.
“How do you expect to kill anything with swords, my dear?” The healer teased, earning a huff of amusement from the prince as he stroked the worn handle with his fingers thoughtfully.
“It worked before.” He answered simply.
Hama rolled her eyes and sighed. “You limped away from that encounter, if I recall correctly.”
“I slipped on the mud!” Zuko balked, growing more animated in his outrage as he shuffled towards the door. She waved him off and tugged his hood over his head with a laugh.
“Of course. You are too fierce a warrior for anything else.” He pouted, folding his arms over his chest with a huff before she scooted him out the door and into the snow.
Shin had already packed his bag in preparation for today. He had checked and double checked the contents more out of nervousness than any actual need to ensure he had everything they’d need. This wasn’t his first time going out into the valley to set snares in the deepening snow. Of course, with Chief Hakoda’s permission, he had trapped all over these hills and the valley beyond more than a few times. It was more of a show of skill and a sense of pride than for any actual use as he handed off the fruits of his labor to the elders to do with as they please. He’s bartered and traded with them more times than he can count and almost always accompanied Tekk when he’d visit the wolf tribe.
Unlike all those other times, today was different. Today was unique as he took Li under his wing with the intent to lead him on this hunt. One Fire Nation soldier to another. One man of Agni to another. He couldn’t stifle the bundle of nerves that squirmed in his gut making him as jittery as a new recruit heading off into his first battle. The weight of the letters tucked into his pocket only made him more anxious as his thoughts raced with anticipation.
The cold had become a secondary concern to him as he adapted quickly to the frigid temperatures these last few years. That first year had been hell though, for more than just the bitter cold and strange new land he found himself in. He had been running away from so much and the Water Tribes had given him a chance at a freedom he never thought possible before. The war still crawled across his mind when the nights were long and the taste of blood would rise along his tongue leaving him tumbling out of feverish nightmares in a cold sweat. His sweet beloved Leyla had been so kind to him through it all. She was a safe haven in all of this, the guiding touch that soothed his fears from the war.
She had been understanding even when he didn’t speak of the things that haunted him. Even when he couldn’t bring himself to so much as utter them in private, not even to himself. She held him through so many terrible nights as he cried and recalled all of the bloodshed, all the pain, the loss and the fear he felt that tightened around his heart like a vice grip.
Leyla was his other half. Moon to his starry sky. The guiding light to those seemingly endless dark days. He looked forward to the spring, eagerly anticipating their wedding date. They had talked of it so many times as they formulated plans for their family through quiet nights as they woven their fingers together with bashful smiles and broad grins. They shared names for children, which Shin was still adamant that at least one would be named Bo simply so he could teach them spear work the Fire Nation way as well as archery the Water Tribe way. Leyla would just roll her eyes at that and humor him as she always often did.
His beautiful sweet adoring Leyla with honest honey eyes that saw him for the man he wanted to be and not the man he was when he arrived on their shores, a bloody broken husk of a soldier. He had been so afraid of the tribes at first, jumping at shadows and spirit tales that haunted him. Tekk had been considerate of his troubles and provided quiet counsel on so many occasions. It helped, and eventually he saw the tribes for what they were. They were his chance at freedom and a new life. They were a sanctuary away from what haunted him on the continent. They gave him his life back, even if he did miss the homeland often. He still kept in touch with his family but they understood why he chose to stay when the spring came. They didn’t blame him after everything he had suffered through in the war. He was finally happy and he was relieved that they supported him through it even if it felt, in some small way, like treason.
Shin glanced up at the sound of crunching footsteps approaching. The soft shuffle of boots on the packed snow alerted him to the comical sight that was Li bundled up so heavily that the trapper could only see the bright gold of his eyes through all the layers. He couldn’t help but laugh, wondering sincerely how the man intended to move about like that but he kept the comment to himself as he humoured the man with a broad grin and a greeting.
“Ready?” He called.
Li nodded in quiet agreement. He looked around the stable entrance where Shin had been leaned against the alcove of the doorway to avoid the snow fall and bitter wind as it stirred flurries to dance about. “Are we taking a mount?”
“Nope!” Shin cheered, noting with a laugh, the displeased and very confused narrowing of the man’s eyes. Agni’s bane, this man was so expressive just with his eyes that it was shocking. He radiated every little thing that ruffled him that made it all the more enticing to continue poking the pygmy puma beneath the layers. Shin turned to reach inside the alcove where he placed two sets of snowshoes to rest for the time being and showed them off to the soldier.
“What are those?”
“These are snowshoes.” He showed the rounded woven wooden objects, holding them up in the muted sunlight for the soldier to see. He chuckled when Li looked even more confused than before and gestured for him to give him a foot. Li was hesitant at first then obliged as Shin went about strapping one to each boot and stood back to observe the awkward stance of the soldier. “Try taking a few steps to make sure they’re on right.”
Li stared down at his feet for a moment as he took one cautious step and nearly tripped when he didn’t adjust his gait to be wide enough when he took the second step and pinned the previous shoe with his weight. Shin shot his hands out to catch him by the shoulder and laughed. He helped Li balance and reached back into the alcove where he had two sets of wooden hiking rods with ice spikes at the bottom, resting.
“Here, these’ll help you keep your balance. You’re going to need them with these hills.” He explained. “The snowshoes distribute your weight evenly across the snow so you don’t sink.”
“Oh.” The younger man stared down at his feet anxiously. “That makes sense.” He admitted and gave it another test try. He was an awkward little turtleduck and Shin couldn’t help but be amused by that. It was hard to think he was some ferocious fighter like he’d heard but looks were often deceiving and Shin knew that better than anyone else.
He took the moment to strap his own snowshoes on and grab the hiking poles as he stood with far more ease than Li had. The soldier made a disgruntled noise at that before easing the tension from his shoulders and taking another test step forward. Shin was amused and relieved to see he was catching on quickly with some practice.
“Alright. Let’s get going while the day is still young.”
Li nodded and followed after Shin at a much more sedated pace than the trapper, causing him to stop and wait at brief intervals for Li to catch up as they started up the path into the hills. Gravity and the accumulating snowfall made the ascent more tiresome but the hiking poles eased the strain and made the pace a touch quicker. Frequent breaks to catch their breath and time to cool off before they started to break a sweat were something Shin kept a close eye on as they moved, making their way to the first of a handful of spots he intended to set snares.
The smaller man was a fast learner in many things; it appeared as he watched Shin show him the trails and tracks through the terrain. He explained the wildlife that were associated with them and let the man set two of the snares in the harder to set areas. He was creative and smart in his endeavors, and Shin was impressed as they moved on to the next area.
He had settled his pace to stand directly beside Li now, allowing him the chance to closely inspect the sheathe on the man’s back that he had spotted more than a few times. The handles were worn from use but well taken care of and the golden embellishments on the scabbard were familiar enough to make his blood go cold in his veins. A part of him wanted to reach out and touch it just to make sure it wasn’t another hallucination but another part of him was afraid to give life to those old nightmares. He had chased them off well enough in recent months and finally found a place of ease where he felt content and safe but the spirits found a way to bring misfortune to his doorstep like Koh’s curse.
He couldn’t believe that Li was the same man. Thinking back on what he knew, though it pained him immensely to recall that night, it fit. The way he moved, the size of his body though back then it was clad in black with that haunting mask that stared endlessly into his soul. He could still smell the blood that cloyed the air and heard the screams that rang in his ears as he clutched his spear tight to his chest. Hollow eyes had gazed at him, frozen in place and unable to run, Shin waited for those blades to sing the song of his death as well.
The Blue Spirit was just a man.
A man from his homeland.
A half blind awkward soldier that was just as traumatized by this war as Shin was.
The source of years of his fear, the countless nightmares, the cold sweat that soaked his nightclothes and clung to his skin as terror clawed up his throat with a scream and the burn of bile that choked him. Shin couldn’t stop his hands from trembling as he watched Li move ahead at the first sign of more tracks. The precision in how he followed the trail with the utmost care. The thrill and the smallest twist of a smile that curved his mouth, self satisfied as he laid another successful snare with the hopes that it would be fruitful. The childish innocence of simple pleasures in the eye of a man that had clearly seen too much in this war just as Shin had.
“Shin?” Li called, tilting his head in question with a worried crease in his brows. “Are you alright?”
Shin met the man’s gaze and felt his heart spike against his ribcage in a thunderous burst of fear before he forced it to calm and shook it off. He shoved the gnawing paranoia out of his thoughts as he put on a smile to greet the question but judging by the increasing worry on the other man’s face, it must have come off far more strained than he expected. “Just catching my breath.” He lied easily through his teeth.
Li nodded and twisted to pull at the strap hanging off his shoulder. Shin tensed as the scabbard shifted before he realized the man was reaching for the waterskin, passing it off to him. “Here.”
Shin reached out to take the offered skin hesitantly before clutching it in his grasp. The water sloshed around easily inside as he pulled the cork and took a cautious first sip before his thirst was realized from the exercise. More followed greedily before he pressed the cork back in place and handed it back over. Li took it and popped the cork to take his own drink, secured it then returned it to his back. He looked just as content with the break now as his eyes squinted against the snowy landscape. They had walked quite a ways but Shin wanted to go further into the valley.
“These snowshoes sure give quite a work out.” Li huffed tiredly, massaging a glove along his thighs with a shaky smile. “It’s been a while since I’ve last done anything this strenuous.”
“Oh yeah?” Shin asked, morbid curiosity tugging at his mind to ask. “When was that?”
Li leaned against his hiking poles as he stabbed them into the ground and pursed his lips into a thin line of concentration. “A couple years ago I think.” He recalled. “We were climbing a cliff face to reach a supply unit that had been cut off by a rock slide. There were a lot of injuries and they were really high up.”
This was familiar terrain for Shin. He’d spent countless hours sharing old war stories with his comrades before they became too painful to bear. He listened as Li continued the story.
“We needed someone to climb it and sink the anchors first so I volunteered.” Li looked partly amused and partly unhappy in an impressive display of contradiction as he added. “It was a lot higher than I anticipated.”
“Did you manage to get them secured?” Shin asked, sticking his own pole into the ground to lean against for the time being. He watched as Li shivered when the wind picked up and blew towards him, rustling his hood back down his head to reveal more of his face. The soldier grimaced in displeasure and batted it back over and adjusted his stance now so his back was towards the wind like Shin’s was, putting them directly side by side as he continued.
Shin couldn’t shake the anxiety that being this close to the man now caused but he forced himself to endure as he watched every twitch and movement the soldier made. Li didn’t know that Shin knew which was far safer now than he’d felt in a while. He had the upper hand against his nightmares which was a surprising turn of events for once in his life.
“I did.” Li confirmed. “Everything was going good as we dug the wounded out of the rockslide and managed to pass the injured down where the medics could reach them. I spent hours working the line attached to the skiff. It was at the end of the mission as we were coming down off the cliff that one of the anchors broke as I was scaling back down. My leg got tangled up in the rope when I fell.”
Shin grimaced in sympathetic pain. He could imagine the type of injury that could have caused and had seen more than his fair share of twisted limbs and rope burns. Li nodded in silent agreement.
“I was laid up for a while after that.”
“I can imagine.” Shin admitted, then, because the thought occurred to him now, he had to ask. “Does it pain you when doing things like this?”
Li looked down at himself and shrugged. Shin was confused by that until he admitted. “The cold isn’t very kind to me. I can’t tell the difference between what’s hurting from the temperatures and what’s from strenuous activity anymore.”
“Fair point.” He sighed and turned a calculating eye on the soldier as he inspected the way he moved as they started on their way deeper into the valley again. Awkward steps aside with the snowshoes, it was really hard to tell that Li had suffered any kind of injury that was potentially debilitating. From the graceful catlike poise of his steps when he was wandering about the village to the way he moved his body with little to show for his blindspot. He was accustomed to working around his disabilities in a way that made it look just as natural than any abled bodied man. Shin was envious of that while being aware of just how much more dangerous that made this man.
He may not be some vengeful spirit in an old tale, but Shin had seen the soldier in action first hand and he didn’t need to believe in the old spirits to understand that crossing blades with Li was a sure fire way to meet them. He gripped his hiking poles tightly in his gloved fist and focused on the task at hand. He just needed to make it through this hunt.
They laid the final snare near the midpoint of the valley when Li noted the quick approach of darkness as the muted rays of the sun vacated the sky. It took them hours to get this far and neither of them had brought tents along to endure the bitter cold of night.
Li cursed under his breath as he scanned the clouded sky and grimaced. “I don’t think we’ll make it back before dark.” He admitted, looking worried now. Shin inspected the valley thoughtfully as he nodded in agreement.
“No, we won’t.” It was a simple fact that he had come prepared for. He continued on his way, heading further into the low lying drifts of snow that were shoved along the edges of the hillsides. Li lingered where he stood, looking confused as he blurted.
“Shin, what are you doing?” The trapper suppressed a flinch at the volume of the man’s voice and the crunch of snow at his back. He ignored the creeping images of blades sliding through his ribcage and protruding out the front in a final execution. He ignored the taste of blood and bile in his throat as he swallowed thickly and opted to remain calm.
“Don’t worry. I have a plan.” Shin assured him with casual ease and pointed up the hillside where a cropping of trees clustered the slope. “There’s a trapping hut up there.”
“What?”
Shin continued the climb as he waved Li to follow. “I use it a lot when I come out here. Not many people remember that it's here.” He remembered when Nanouk and Chinuk had shown him the place his first year. Only a small handful of folks from the wolf tribe ever actually used it to take shelter in, but most resorted to using tents or simply avoided being caught out in the cold altogether with nightfall. The village hasn’t been in such dire need of meat in a while that the prolonged hunts in the valley were no longer necessary. The hut saw almost no use in recent years aside from Shin’s and he appreciated that it had become his own private little nook of sorts.
Li trailed behind him, breathing heavily against the bitter cold and the rapidly plummeting temperatures. Shin could hear the quiet rasp in his throat with every tiresome breath against the stinging cold. He felt a twinge of sympathy as the man endured the struggle as they navigated the steep slope. There were still remnants of rope lines attached to some of the trunks of the trees that Shin used to pull himself up with extra ease. Li mimicked his efforts as they climbed the slippery patches before the hut finally came into view.
Like most, it was made of stones with a turf roof that set it into the side of the hill. It had a fireplace and Shin had restocked the wood supply in the late summer which meant they had a secure heat source. He held the door open for Li as the man was ushered in with shaky legs. His face was red with exertion and his breath came in little gasps made raspier by the bitter cold in his lungs. He nodded his appreciation to Shin once they were inside and lit the lantern by the door to shed light into the darkened space. It was dusty and a bit cramped for two people but was a useful place to warm up, wait out any storm and rest.
Li took a moment to catch his breath before bending over to remove his snowshoes and set them and the hiking poles against the wall by the door where Shin had deposited his own. The soldier hunkered in on himself as he hovered by the door looking lost. It took every bit of calm that the trapper had to turn his back on the man long enough to check the chimney for any obstructions using the lantern before piling the wood into the hearth and setting it alight. The crackle of a fire was a welcome relief for them both as Li shuffled over and knelt beside the flames as he pulled his gloves off his hands and let them hover desperately near the licks of orange that steadily grew to consume the wood.
“I’m kind of surprised.” Shin admitted after a moment as he watched the soldier closely.
“Hm?” Li grunted, never tearing his eye away from the flames as he rotated his hands to thaw his fingers before rubbing his warm palms together and repeating.
“I would have expected you to be more afraid of fire.”
Li shrugged at his side. “I was.” He rasped quietly. “For a long time, I cursed Agni’s flame for what happened to me.”
“But?”
“But my Uncle showed me that with fire there is life, when cared for properly. What happened to me hurt and I was afraid but that didn’t take away the fact that fire was the source of life and I couldn’t live my life constantly afraid of it.” He raised a warm palm to massage the tight scarring with a grimace. “It still hurts and I still occasionally have nightmares about that night but I’m not afraid of it like I was anymore.”
“But you are still afraid.” Shin commented.
Li nodded. “A healthy dose of fear keeps us humble.” His lips quirked into a small smile. “At least that’s what my cousin said. But fear reminds us that there is danger and to be cautious of that danger, but that doesn’t mean that it will always be dangerous.” He gestured at the fire before them to punctuate that point. “It has the potential to be dangerous but that isn’t going to stop either of us from using it to warm up, now is it?”
Shin had to laugh at that because he was right. He rotated his hands near the growing flames and relished the heat that pulses against their faces to chase away the sniffling nip of cold on their noses. It took a little while for it to get comfortable enough to shed their parks, but once it had, Li got more comfortable as he placed his satchel, waterskin and swords on the table. The soldier was unarmed and Shin felt a touch more at ease for it. He hung his own coat up by the door where it could dry and watched the soldier as he inspected the antique placard above the mantle that was intricately carved and forgotten to time. He watched as he traced his fingers over the engravings that marked the symbols of the wolf tribe and the individual markings of older households back when they had their own crests before they joined beneath a singular banner.
A part of him couldn’t shake the feeling of unease he felt now as he watched Li. This was one of his own countrymen, and he was the Blue Spirit, a creature from campfire tales that they had all dismissed as being there just to scare new recruits. Shin had never thought that he would cross paths with him, having considered that that’s all they were. The tales of a spirit. A spirit of vengeance in an unjust war. It was how men coped to pass the time.
But there was no denying what he saw that night in Pohuai. He scrubbed and scrubbed at the blood on his skin for hours until it was left raw and aching. He couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t eating. He jumped at every sound and when he did finally find sleep, the nightmares had him springing back to wakefulness with a knife clutched so tightly in hand that it made his comrades fearful of sharing a tent or barracks with him.
He finally found a place of peace and the Blue Spirit still found him like some twisted joke in a theater play. Like a scared rabbit being stalked by a polar leopard, he couldn’t evade this predator in hiding. A part of him feared that Li would eventually find out that he knows, or worse yet, he might turn on the others in the tribe just as he had his own countrymen. He had overheard Chief Hakoda’s worried tone as he spoke with Tekk about Li’s state of mind right now. It was not meant for him to hear but Shin couldn’t help but listen. He recognized that hollow look in the man’s eyes just as he had seen reflected back in his own for so many years.
Li was a man haunted by his own spirit tales, with his own fears and terrors that drove him mad. This war had carved them up into little pieces until they were barely recognizable as human beings anymore. There was a great sadness there and Shin sympathized with that, but he also knew that he couldn’t sit by and allow a threat to walk freely among these people. For his own peace of mind, and for his own conscience, he would do what needed to be done.
Quietly, he pulled the knife from his belt and approached the soldier. Li was still preoccupied with the carving. His back was turned and Shin was content with that. He would make it quick and quiet. It would be painless. He’ll deliver the man to the next life with ease. He already had the lantern ready to usher his soul off to Agni through the night and he was prepared to carry that burden to his grave. The Blue Spirit will be gone, and both men can finally find peace from all the pain.
He raised the knife and eased the blade over Li’s left side, utilizing his blindspot so he won’t even see it coming. Shin took a deep breath and braced himself for the blood that would spill and the weight of his actions as he silently prayed.
‘Agni forgive me as I deliver this child back to your embrace.’
Notes:
After seeing all the comments about Ursa's death, the mentions of "I thought with the Major Character Death tag that it would be Azulon dying" I would like to point out, I never said only 1 person would be dying.
Be sure to check out Chained: Outtakes and Pirate's Plunder which are alternate scenarios for Chained chapters and scenes I've already written. Also, if yall are interested in some crack fluff, check out my newest fic Scales of Truth which is about Dragon Zuko who is banished into the human world where no 100 years war happened, and needs to navigate the complexities of being a human while searching for a way back home with Aang and the Gaang's help. Meanwhile literally nobody believes that he is an actual dragon and shenanigans ensue.
Chapter 35
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The longhouse was busy with chatter as Sokka shuffled through the gathered throng of people. Most of which had partaken in warm drinks and a hot meal to chase away the cold as the wolf tribe welcomed their brothers and sisters. Tekkeitsertok’s crew had gathered at the beckoning of Tonuk and Alik as they taught the boys a bit about pai sho. Kanut’s crew from the Orca tribe were having a drinking competition with Tuktu’s crew from the Caribou. Hakoda and Tekkeitsertok were chatting at a corner table, discussing something or other that went over Sokka’s head at the moment. He felt tired right down to his bones but couldn’t help a restlessness that set him pacing about the longhouse like there was something more he should be focusing his attention on.
He had been invited along to tomorrow's talks by his dad as a valued voice around the tables but Sokka couldn’t help that his dad hadn’t necessarily felt as eager about having Sokka there. Whenever the topic of Zuko came up, Hakoda was quick to steer it in a narrow direction that left little opportunity for Sokka to question or trade barbs. Bato was also going to be there, as both of them had played an active role in the raids in the Earth Kingdom that led to this whole debacle.
He fidgeted with his tankard and felt the itch of energy under his skin that had him stalking back and forth in the longhouse, drifting from one occupied table to the next to find something to keep his thoughts busy and distracted. The war tales the men from Tekk’s tribe told were a fleeting obstacle before they coaxed his thoughts towards more painful terrain that lingered on Zuko, forcing him to move towards the pai sho board where Tonuk was trying to explain the entire purpose of the white lotus tile.
Sokka couldn’t settle there either as his fellow tribesman echoed the prince’s lectures on the purpose of the piece and its importance to certain complex strategies. The drinking competition could only hold his attention for so long before he found himself drifting by the second round. Bato had cut him off as he stalked his way back across the longhouse, eavesdropping on conversations as he went.
“You seem troubled tonight, Sokka.” Bato stepped in front of him with ease, cutting the warrior’s pacing off entirely as he slipped a steadying arm behind his back to stall him in place. Sokka shifted the tankard in his grasp from one hand to the next and worked his jaw with indecision.
“I’m just restless is all.”
“Nervous about tomorrow?” Bato asked, his words soft yet thoughtful as he considered him with that paternal way Sokka had come to recognize from the older man since he was a boy. Back then he had always been Uncle Bato but now he had stepped into a new position in Sokka’s and Katara’s lives, one that the two of them appreciated immensely even if they didn’t always show it the way they should.
Sokka shrugged, a small jump of his shoulders as he tried to relax and scanned the room quietly. He raised his tankard to wet his parched throat and stalled for a bit more time before answering. “I don’t know anymore.” He sighed, relishing in the burn of the drink down to his belly as something more comforting.
Bato gave him a knowing look and patted him firmly on the shoulder in reassurance. “You’ll be fine.”
“I’m not really worried about me right now, Bato.” Sokka shook the gesture off as he swayed anxiously on his feet. “I can’t shake this feeling-” He started but cut himself off with a sour look on his face. “I fucked up.”
“Sokka.” Bato admonished.
“No, I know I fucked up. I don’t need anyone else to remind me of that. I know, but I don’t know how to fix it.” He shuffled in place and looked around the room, inspecting all the cheerful expressions that were drowning in a brief moment of happiness before tomorrow’s talks drag them into the crashing waves of despair. There was so much ahead of them, so many struggles they would be forced to face all over again and he couldn’t help but feel partially at fault for all of it.
“Sokka, we tackle our problems as a tribe. It’s how we always have. You’re not alone in this, and you’re not the only one at fault either.” He chided gently. Then wistfully, he sighed. “You’re so much like your father, you know. You both carry the burden of an entire people and hold that blame close to your heart. Neither of you are alone in this, and the burden as well as the blame is all ours to share in the end.”
He let Bato’s words sink in for a few moments as he offered a weak nod in acknowledgement. Their attention was drawn to the entrance as the double doors leading into the hall were drawn open in haste with Kela shuffling in and looking wind whipped from the frigid night. His face was red from the cold as fat flakes blew in with a brisk wind that made the braziers dance. A few of the men grumbled drunkenly at the disturbance, jeering teasingly towards the tribesman as the doors slipped shut behind him.
“Kela, where have you been?” Bato chimed in greeting. The man searched the longhouse with a frown as he stepped towards the two men.
“Is Shin or Li here? Hama was looking for them.” He answered with a shiver as he shook the snow off the shoulders of his parka and scanned the crowded seats.
Bato raised a brow as he searched the crowd and spoke. “I haven’t seen Li all day but Shin might be around here.”
“He’s not.” Sokka interjected bitterly. “I didn’t even know he came with Tekk on this trip.”
Kela cursed under his breath, drawing both their eyes towards the man. Sokka narrowed his eyes, pinning the tribesman in place as he stepped forward, clutching the tankard tight in his grasp as he asked. “Kela?”
“Hama said they went out hunting this afternoon. Shin wanted to show Li some hunting spots for snaring.” He shifted anxiously in place. “They haven’t come back yet.”
“Spirits!” Bato cursed, turning towards the rest of the room as he slotted his fingers in his mouth and let out an ear piercing whistle that silenced the room. Sokka stretched his jaw a little as his ears rang from the shrill noise and turned a scowl towards Bato, but the older man wasn’t hindered by the look, his attention fixed firmly on Hakoda and Tekkeitsertok.
Both chiefs rose from their seats, noticing the tension in their stances. The men around the room murmured softly, ears turned to listen in on what was happening. Hakoda and Tekkeitsertok briskly crossed the room to meet them as Kela shuffled beside Sokka to warm up. The warrior felt an eerie chill creeping down his spine as his dad joined them.
“What’s wrong?” Hakoda asked.
“We have two missing men.” Bato explained in a hushed tone. “Shin and Li went hunting earlier this afternoon and they haven’t come back yet.” Those words were terrifying to hear. Night had already fallen, and as far as Sokka was concerned, Shin wasn’t prepared for a Southern winter through the night like this. Zuko most definitely wasn’t. The bitter cold weather like this was debilitating for the soldier on a good day, this was downright suicide to go out in as they were. They were so far outside of their elements.
“Do we know where they went?” Hakoda asked.
Kela nodded. “Hama said they were just going up into the hills on the edge of the valley.”
Tekkeitsertok nodded in similar agreement. “Shin knows those hills like the back of his hand. It’s unlike him to be reckless like this in this weather.”
“We’ll have to get a search party ready for morning. We’ll go looking at first light.” Hakoda started to explain but Sokka cursed and shook his head in refusal.
“No, I’m going looking for Li tonight.”
“Sokka.” Hakoda admonished but Sokka straightened up, refusing to be pushed back on this call.
“Li won’t survive in this weather. Even with a proper tent, too much exposure to the cold like this will cripple him, dad.” He countered sternly. “We’re not yet in blizzard conditions. If we take the dogs and a couple of the buffalo yaks, we should be able to find them fast while the trail is still there. If we wait til morning, we may never find them.”
“Sokka’s right.” Bato shifted closer to the warrior, surprising him with his acknowledgement. “The dogs are our best bet right now. I’ll go with him.”
“I’m coming as well.” Tekkeitsertok agreed. Hakoda looked at odds with the group as he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. A quiet mutter to the spirits as he conceded.
“Fine.” He didn’t look happy about this turn of events or how he somehow managed to be outnumbered but he wasn’t going to dismiss the group as they stood their ground.
“We’re coming too, chief.” Hakoda whirled around to find Tonuk and Alik standing nearby, hovering as they eavesdropped in on the conversation.
Alik straightened up as he added. “With all due respect sir, we owe this to Li after what he did for Katla.” There was little to argue against there as they turned to start preparations. Sokka was relieved to know that his father was stepping back to allow him to lead this time as he plotted their course and arranged his team.
Hakoda would stay back and wait for the group to return while Hama prepared for the worst but hoped for the best. Tekkeitsertok, Bato, Kela, Tonuk and Alik joined Sokka as they used the polar dogs to track the trail utilizing one of Li’s garments from Hama’s hut to set them to work. With lanterns lit to guide the way, Humpy led the group through the deep snow as the rest of the men rode on buffalo yaks close behind. Sokka was directly beside the camel once they crested the hills and the narrow paths that wound up along the rocky crevices and thickets of brush opened wider. The dogs led them to the snares that had been laid, some of which had been tripped by scurrying rodents. Kela collected them as they went, worried about bringing predators back to their path on the way back with the fresh blood in the snow.
The last thing they needed was another polar leopard attack.
“I thought they were just going to stay in the hills.” Sokka called over his shoulder to Kela, squinting against the night and the fat flakes of snow that drifted down into his face with the slightest breeze.
“That’s what Hama said!” Kela called up towards him as they steered the buffalo yaks through the drifts that clustered deep at the base of the slopes. Both dogs were taking them deeper and deeper into the valley, further than the hills they were meant to remain near. Sokka didn’t like this. A cold fist of dread clutched at his lungs in a painful vice.
“Sokka! We might need to head back and try again in the morning.” Bato called over as he urged Humpy to stop. The camel groaned his displeasure at the jerk of the reins and tugged against his owner’s hand. “Humpy’s getting anxious. I don’t like this.”
“I don’t understand why they were so deep into the valley.” Tekkeitsertok called over towards them as he led his buffalo yak to the other side of Humpy.
“They might not have had a choice if a predator was around.” Bato added. “The polar leopards are getting desperate.”
“I don’t think that was the case.” Sokka interjected, turning his eyes to the dark as he scanned the landscape. The clouds were thick in the night sky, preventing any moonlight from shining down and illuminating their path. The snow drifts rose and fell in bizarre slopes and peaks that confused the eyes, creating a very misleading terrain. “They were on foot, that much is clear.”
“They couldn’t have gotten very far.” Alik offered as he shuffled closer.
“Hey, what’s that over there?” Tonuk blurted, drawing Sokka’s attention as he inspected the direction the tribesman was pointing. He stared over the expanse of the hills trying to see what exactly Tonuk was talking about until he lifted his eyes higher into the valley edge where the trees grew thicker together. There was a flickering light, so very small and faint but there.
“A lantern!” Bato cheered as Humpy shuffled anxiously forward, tugging on the reins with a stubborn croaked and haw that made the tribesman curse under his breath to get the camel under control. The dogs were racing around, running back and forth between the group of tribesmen and the direction of the lantern as they barked energetically at them for their attention.
“Oh no.” Sokka pulled on the reins of his buffalo yak and coaxed it forward with a click of his tongue. The others were delayed in following as he hurried towards the edge of the valley. The dogs raced up the slopes, climbing with much more effort through the deep snow in a struggle to find their footing where it was slick.
“Sokka, slow down!” Bato called as Humpy galloped forward to keep pace with him.
“Somethings wrong!” Sokka called back as they reached the edge of the slope where the yaks could no longer scale and even the dogs were having a hard time. Forced to dismount, he eyed the short distance up through the trees and spotted the ropes that were tangled around the tree trunks offering easy handholds to guide them up. Bato and Tekkeitsertok caught up soon after as they secured their mounts to the branches of the trees. Sokka bent down and picked up the first of what appeared to be four different sections of rope that led up towards the hut further up the way. He remembered someone mentioning that something like this existed all the way out here, but the old path eroded away with time and made it unreliable in the winter. It seemed like a place often only utilized in the summer months when the hills were sturdier and the climb far less taxing and treacherous.
“I’m sure they’re fine.” Bato admonished as he followed close behind the warrior as he held the rope up and started to climb, placing one cautious foot in front of the other as he gripped the knotted sections of rope for stable handholds.
“They’re both Fire Nation soldiers, Bato.” Sokka answered bitterly, the words carving a cold blade into his heart as he spoke his fears aloud. “A lantern at night means something entirely different to them than it does to us.”
The older man fell quiet at that as they climbed the ropes. Behind them the dogs barked as Kela, Tonuk and Alik stayed with the animals and tried to wrangle the dogs into some semblance of calm. Tekk was directly behind Bato, scaling the steep embankment with them as they made their way up, one rope after another. Sokka had to use the tree trunks to find some sturdy footing before moving to the next rope, with the third line forcing him to drag Bato up with him with a strong arm. The older man did the same to the chief as they reached the landing where the hut had been built. From here, Sokka could see where the old path had once existed but little remained where the land had given under time and extreme weather conditions, forcing this secondary route that was a lot less safe this time of year.
The lantern hung outside the door as it danced in the night. Sokka hoped it was a sign from Zuko meant just for him but hope wasn’t something he had held too tightly to lately. It often led to him getting hurt so he steeled himself as he approached the door. His hand hesitated over the door handle as he took a deep breath, letting the frigid air fill his lungs until that was the only pain he could feel sliding inside his chest before he pushed it open.
The inside of the shack was a mess. There was a table flipped over on its side and wall décor tossed about the floor where it’d been ripped from its hooks. There were bloody boot prints on the floorboards and smears of dark red fingerprints staining wood where things had been grabbed or hands were extended to catch or support against. Near the hearth were two figures pressed together in a heap on the ground, a low burning fire barely warmed the room as the wood reached its end.
A single lantern was lit near them, casting light across the faces of the two men where they were huddled. Shin was the larger of the two with his clothes in disarray with large blood stains along the edges of the man’s parka where it had been placed overtop of his body like a blanket to be draped. Zuko was tucked close to the older man’s side, shivering and quiet as his cloak was used to keep the other man warm along with what appeared to be most of their cold gear. Zuko’s satchel was sprawled beside him with stained bandages and a similarly stained hunting knife lying within reach.
“What in La’s name happened here?” Bato cursed under his breath as Sokka moved to kneel beside Zuko, reaching for the soldier’s shoulder to give it a gentle shake. The man was still breathing and shivering was always a good sign in temperatures like this. Both men were pale and unmoving even as Sokka tried to stir him awake.
“Li?” Sokka spoke in Fire Nation, lowering his voice to Zuko’s ear as he gave his shoulder a squeeze and another shake. “Li, wake up. Hey, buddy, wake up.”
After a moment, he started to move with a quiet groan in his throat. His good eye opened just a fraction as his head rolled to turn towards Sokka.
“Li.” Sokka repeated, feeling relief wash over him and chase away the cold panic that had seized his chest.
“S-S-Sok-kka.” He shivered, teeth chattering as he curled into a tighter ball. “C-c-cold.”
“I know. I know you’re cold. We’re going to get you home and warm you up, alright?” Sokka assured as he turned to face Bato as the older man loomed over his shoulder with worry in his eyes. Tekkeitsertok was at Shin’s side as he peeled back the layers of clothing to inspect the source of the blood.
“H-help himmm.” Zuko reached a hand out towards Shin, letting it hover weakly over his abdomen before tucking his blood stained fingers closer to his chest as he shivered again.
“Spirits!” Bato cursed again as Tekk looked up at the other tribesman with worry.
“They’re not going to survive out here much longer like this. We need to get moving now.” Which was easier said than done. Thankfully Tekk had the forethought of bringing extra blankets and spare clothes with his buffalo yak, while Sokka’s was loaded with a spare parka that was Zuko’s that he collected hastily from Hama’s hut before they left. Bato was quick to retrieve both and dragged the rest of the men up to the hut to help them get Shin down the slopes.
Sokka helped tuck Zuko into his parka and rubbed warmth into his shoulders and arms before pushing his gloves and hood back on. He bundled the soldier up as best he could for the time being and placed a blanket around him before sitting him closer to the dying fire. He then hastily shoved the medical supplies and knife into the satchel and placed it next to the waterskin and the broadswords.
Rising to his feet, he turned to find the other tribesmen trying to consider how exactly they were going to carry the unconscious Shin down the steep slope. Tekk had already bundled him up as securely as he could while they figured out what to do next. Scanning the room, Sokka had a plan already piecing together in his mind. He kicked the table over and inspected the stability of the legs with a firm tug and grinned to himself.
“This is a stupid idea.” Alik commented as they pulled the spare ropes off of Humpy’s saddle that Bato had packed and scurried their way back up to the hut where they dragged the table outside. Tekk and Tonuk carried Shin and laid him down on the table with the legs upright so it cradled the unconscious man before wrapping ropes around the legs to ensure he didn’t fall out in either direction. Another set of ropes was secured to two legs at one end as they stuffed the blankets around him to cushion his body and keep it warm. With some finagling and a bit of clever footwork, they made a skiff to slide him easily down the slope.
Sokka carried Zuko on his back down the embankment as Tekk, Bato, Kela, Tonuk and Alik took turns feeding the ropes down in sets. Tekk and Bato were at the top while Kela and Tonuk waited in the middle. Sokka went down first with Zuko so he could meet Alik at the bottom and wait to bring Shin down the rest of the way. It took quite a bit of effort and time but eventually they got him all the way down from the hut. Humpy and the dogs had huddled around Zuko in the meantime to keep the soldier warm until Sokka could pull him up into his arms on his buffalo yak. The ropes were adjusted and tied to the back of Humpy’s saddle so the table was used further as a sled to haul Shin back the rest of the way. The dogs had piled in around Shin to help keep him warm and Humpy was strong enough to pull all three with little issue.
Zuko was still shivering against Sokka’s chest as the warrior kept him tucked close, drawing his arms around him to keep him balanced on the yak as they moved. He’d shift and shiver, teeth chattering noisily in Sokka’s ear as the soldier clutched weakly at his coat. It wasn’t hard to follow their tracks back to the village but Sokka was growing worried as Zuko became less responsive over time. His shivering was starting to lessen and his head grew heavy against Sokka’s shoulder.
“Hey, Li.” Sokka called to him, giving him a shake to force him to stir awake. “Stay with me. Don’t go to sleep. Hear me? Do not go to sleep. You need to stay awake buddy.”
The quiet mumble was incoherent against his neck but Sokka was adamant as he gripped the soldier’s shoulder hard as he gave him another shake. “Don’t sleep. I know you’re tired but don’t sleep. If you sleep, you won’t wake up. Li. Li!” He got a noncommittal noise but that was enough to keep that suffocating terror at bay. “Talk to me Li. Please . Tell me a story or how much you hate me, I don’t care. Just talk to me and don’t stop.”
“Sssokka.” He murmured against the warrior and let his head sag. Whatever words he was trying to say afterwards were slurred and incoherent, just a bunch of jumbled noises in the man’s throat but as far as Sokka was concerned, they were the music to his ears as he forced the yak to pick up the pace.
It felt like an eternity had passed before they spied the lanterns erected around the village waiting eagerly for their return. The stables were lit up as tribesmen gathered in anticipation. It was a relief off his chest as they descended the hills and headed down the winding path towards the stables where the men rushed forward to greet them. Bato was lagging a bit behind as Humpy slowed to ease Shin down the steeper slopes with more care but tribesmen were rushing up the hills to help as they unlashed the ropes from the camel’s saddle and pulled the makeshift table sled behind them towards the healer’s hut.
Sokka didn’t wait as he dismounted from the yak with Zuko cradled against his chest. The soldier had gone too quiet in the last few minutes for his liking. He left the animals to the rest of the men as he rushed the soldier towards Hama’s.
Hakoda was quick to race towards the healer's hut once he heard the news that the rescue party had returned with both men in pretty bad shape. Alik and Tonuk were animated as they spoke of the bloody disaster that the hunting hut had been when they arrived and found Shin wounded and unconscious and Prince Zuko barely conscious from the cold as hypothermia started to set in.
Hama's was getting crowded when he arrived at the entrance and saw a dozen tribesmen gathered outside praising the dogs that assisted the rescue party where they were still sprawled out on a blood stained table turned sled. Slipping through the crowd and inside the hut, he was greeted by Bato and Tekk who shuffled anxiously near the doorway, staying clear out of Hama's way.
Katara was assisting her as they tended to Shin's injuries where the soldier was laid across a cot, stripped down to his small clothes with blankets bundled around him as Hama stitched an injury in his midsection while Katara bandaged several smaller wounds on his arms.
On the other side of the row of cots, Zuko and Sokka were huddled on the prince's cot with the same claustrophobic ease they often demonstrated before the Agni Kai. Sokka had the soldier wrapped up close in his arms as he tried to warm him up with his body heat. His bare shoulders peeked out above the blankets and furs as he massaged his palms along Zuko's back and sides to build heat in his cold limbs.
The soldier was turned so he was facing Sokka, his head pressed against the warrior as he shivered and murmured something that was too quiet for Hakoda to make out from this distance. Ensuring he stayed out of the women's way, he crept closer and caught the broken whimpers that stirred from the prince as he rambled, his words were still slurred together and his movements were clumsy and uncoordinated as he pawed at Sokka.
"I c-c-can't uh n-n-no." There was a quiet gasp of air as the soldier shuddered against Sokka, caught between teeth chattering and the full body tremors that were much more than just the shivering of a near frozen man. "M-my f-fa-fault."
"It's not your fault, Li." Sokka soothed gently, massaging his hand in comforting circles under the blankets. His blue eyes met Hakoda's as the chief shot an apologetic look in his son's direction. Sokka just looked tired and strung out as he fixed his attention back on the soldier. "You're both safe now. You should get some rest, okay? We can talk more about this when you wake up."
"N-n-no." The prince's teeth chattered out as he twisted against Sokka in refusal. The tribesman looked to be at wits end, and judging by the expression, he had been at this for a while. Just entirely noncompliant and stubborn.
It was a feeling Hakoda was intimately aware of all things considered. He may just have more patience and experience in this little corner than his son did and that thought alone amused him. He stepped a little closer to the cot, crouching as he lowered his voice in greeting in Fire Nation.
"I'm glad to see you're both alright."
Zuko went still and quiet at Hakoda's words. Sokka sighed tiredly as he adjusted his arms around the soldier as he pulled the blankets back up over his shoulder. It wasn't an easy task as Zuko had one of Sokka's arms pinned and the blanket wasn't moving in the way he wanted it to. In fact, it was sliding further down the soldier's back as he squirmed, revealing the lightly stained bandages that were tied around his neck and the faint flush of his skin where blood had been hastily washed away from his chest and shoulder. Hakoda reached out to fix the blanket for his son and tucked it securely around the soldier.
"I'm…..die." The prince mumbled stubbornly as he rested his head against Sokka's chest, less for comfort and more out of sheer exhaustion after struggling to keep it up during their earlier argument. "B-better-"
"Li stop." Sokka scolded sharply. "Don't talk like that. You know that isn't true." Hakoda stilled as he recognized the angry fear in his son's eyes and the cold detached resignation in the prince's body as he sagged against him in a finality that neither could ignore.
Sokka sighed tiredly and resumed his quiet massaging motions. The soldier went still as his breathing evened out to a steadier pace and his shivering stopped. The warrior looked relieved when he finally seemed to doze off.
Peeking over Zuko's shoulder to ensure he was properly out of it before he spoke up, Hakoda pulled a spare chair towards the edge of the cot and started. "Has he been like that this whole time?"
"Not that I can tell." Sokka admitted wearily as he raised one hand to stroke it through the soldier's hair affectionately. "But he wasn't really lucid or coherent when we found them either."
"I see."
"He blames himself." Sokka shifted a little to get comfortable while taking the utmost care not to dislodge the soldier from his comfortable spot. "I get why, and I can't exactly blame him for feeling that way but it's not his fault."
"Do you know what happened?" Hakoda asked carefully. "To them I mean."
"No." Sokka groaned. "Shin was unconscious when we got there and Li has been like this mumbling nonsense the entire time." Hakoda let his eyes wander away from his son to inspect the dutiful work of his daughter and Hama as they worked diligently over the other man. He would need to discuss with the healer as to what exactly she thought happened before Zuko or Shin get their wits about them again.
Opting for a less daunting topic, he shifted towards the question that had also been on his mind. "Son," Sokka glanced up at him with tired resignation as if he were anticipating what could possibly be the next thing out of his father's mouth. "Why a table?" The younger man snorted in amusement as he let his head rest heavy against the shared pillow as he stretched his legs out where they tangled with Li's under the warm layers.
"Because I didn't have a sled and we needed to get Shin down a really steep hill in one piece and all the way back without ripping his wounds back open." Hakoda nodded.
"Smart." He praised, then let out a defeated sigh of his own. "You were right."
"Hm? You're that impressed with my table sled idea?" Sokka cocked a brow at his dad's words.
Hakoda shook his head as he elaborated. "No- I mean, well yes but that's not what I'm talking about." There was a pause as he collected his thoughts and Sokka waited patiently to hear them. "You were right to go looking for Li and Shin when you did. If it had been up to me, they both would have died."
"You were just playing it smart." Sokka reminded quietly.
"I wasn't listening to my instincts." Hakoda amended carefully. "You were and you didn't back down from what you thought was right. You're a good man, Sokka, and a good leader. You've always listened to your gut and it's never been wrong."
Sokka snorted derisively. "Yeah, well I can think of a few times it's been wrong."
"Has it really or have you yet to see the final outcome of it all? Not all labor bears fast fruits, Sokka. Have patience and trust yourself." The younger man conceded with a nod as he let his head sink back against the pillow with a tired sigh.
Hakoda chuckled as his son pouted before leaning forward to give his shoulder a firm pat. "Get some rest, alright? La knows you both need it."
"Yeah." Sokka agreed with a yawn and adjusted his arms back around the sleeping soldier. "See you later dad."
"I'll see you in the morning, Sokka."
Hama was relieved when they finally finished stabilizing Shin. The efforts of cleaning up took a good hour at least before she could finally rest her old bones in a chair and think back on everything she'd seen so far. Her old tired eyes inspected the huddled mass where Sokka was keeping the soldier warm as he slowly recovered from the cold exposure. He had been severely hypothermic and dehydrated with a thankfully shallow cut to his neck. What worried her the most about the cut was the angle of it and the position where it started on the right side which implied the place the blade may have come from was his left where he couldn't see it happening.
Shin's left wrist was sprained and he had multiple defensive bruises and minor cuts on his arms and hands, and one clean stab wound to the lower abdomen. It didn't puncture anything important and the blade hadn't gone deep enough to be lethal. The real concern was the blood loss he'd suffer from it. There were mild signs of cold damage to the skin around the wound which showed someone had applied not only direct pressure to stop the bleeding but also direct cold which may have saved the man's life. There was a hasty stitch job for the wound that Hama had to cut away and redo but it clearly worked in a pinch.
She turned her attention towards Li’s satchel where it had been unceremoniously dumped when Sokka had helped the soldier undress and clean the blood away from his neck. There were blood stains on the leather that had dried in small prints and smears. She slid the buckle free and started to pull the contents out, deciding she could wash the bandages and restock the supplies for her apprentice in the meantime. She wasn’t expecting to find the bloody hunting knife in the midst of it all and very nearly cut her hand open on the unguarded blade. Frowning, she pulled it out to inspect it in the lantern light.
It was very clearly a knife of Water Tribe make, and was not Li’s judging by the fact his pearl dagger was still sheathed and resting near his broadswords on the shelf of his personal effects. Setting it aside for the moment, she focused on the task as she unraveled the tangled mess of bandages when something crinkled under her grasp. Sifting through, she was surprised to find a piece of parchment neatly folded up and crinkled from being misplaced. There were smears from bloody fingers brushing the edges suggesting that Li had possibly opened it either while or after tending to Shin.
Carefully, she unfolded the edges to reveal a letter written in the Earth Kingdom language. It was addressed to Shin specifically.
Wishing you well my dearest friend. It has been some time since we’ve last spoken and I would like to start by extending my apologies for how few letters I’ve sent to you since your transfer. It is always good to know you’ve been well these last few years, though I’m afraid I have grave news that may trouble you my friend.
It has recently come to my attention that a certain Fire Nation soldier has been taken in by one of the Southern Water Tribes, though it escapes me which, thus why I am issuing this warning to you my friend. Be careful because this soldier has been revealed to be the infamous Blue Spirit. He bears the mark of a burn on the left side of his face and wields a pair of broadswords with gold upon their scabbard. I hope this news reaches you well my friend and that safety will be swift to guide you. I recall how terrible it had been after Admiral Zhao’s death that night. Pohuai Stronghold has never been the same as those horrible memories haunt the high walls like a waking spirit. Nary a man who had witnessed that atrocity has found restful sleep since.
Do what you must to stay safe my friend and be wary of the traitor that turned on our great nation. He cannot be trusted.
-Your comrade in arms
Sparrow
Hama was worried now as she inspected the letter and addressed the knife lying beside it. What had started as the hope that someone had attacked the two soldiers out there was quickly being dashed by the steadily climbing evidence against it. Her heart was heavy with this news and the fact she would need to bring this to Hakoda immediately.
The night had been long and Hakoda found little in the way of sleep as the hours stretched on with worry. Tekkeitsertok had informed him before the meeting, offering a quiet warning earlier in the day that groups of rogue tribesmen had been spotted stealing from the smaller outcroppings of villages near Kanut’s and Tekk’s villages. One group had even been chased off in recent weeks from Tuktu’s where a barn had been broken into. New worries plagued his thoughts that these rogues may have had a hand in Zuko and Shin’s sorry states. If the two men had been ambushed in the snow, if they’d been forced off further than they meant by approaching hostiles, then it would make sense as to why they had taken shelter so far from the hills and further into the valley. That location was hard to reach for the unwary and inexperienced who may know that terrain well, forcing even their own to struggle to get to them when time demanded.
These acts of desperate exiles was not uncommon during the winter months. They had often been sent away for crimes that broke tribal law or defiled their moral codes of conduct. Oftentimes they were sent off on smaller ships or in fishing boats during the warmer months to find a new place to settle elsewhere. Sometimes they were left to the whims of Tui and La to face the bitterness of winter with only the packs on their back that they could carry from their own homes and nothing more. It was a rare occurrence that such punishments would be exacted, and some tribesmen had even chosen to leave their homes and villages and turn towards a wilder rule with less of a support system. The chief couldn’t imagine choosing that kind of life, especially out here when it was already hard enough when they had a community to rally together through the tougher times.
Desperate men make desperate choices and that’s dangerous for everyone involved. The tribes had been discussing in recent years as to how to handle these incidents and these were the decisions that were hardest to make. He was afraid that if it was an ambush by rogue tribesmen, that they would be forced to finally act and deal with this with a more permanent solution. It sickened him to think about it and only fueled his tossing and turning. Guilt chewed at his mind when Bato stirred and wrapped his arms around the man to console his restless motions and press his lips tiredly against his lover’s brow. Hakoda closed his eyes and let out a slow exhale as he forced his body to relax against the furs that wrapped them in warmth against the bitter cold of the night, though they failed to guard against the cold fist clenching tight around his heart.
Another weight sagged against him, making it hard to breathe easy knowing that had he chosen to act against Sokka’s resistance, had his son fallen into line and allowed him to determine the fate of those two soldiers, they would be rising in the morning to bring back bodies. His mind couldn’t stop racing, couldn’t stop churning those terrible thoughts over and over until he felt sick to his stomach.
Morning couldn’t come fast enough for his liking as he rose to greet the day feeling more wrung out and exhausted than the night prior. He shuffled through the motions of the morning as he dressed and tugged his boots on and pulled his parka over his head. Reaching for the door handle, he was startled to hear a firm knock come instead. The chief couldn’t smother the jolt of surprise that jerked through him, wide eyed and startled, he heard Bato shuffling out of their shared room to peer at the entrance with a question, still half dressed with his bare chest exposed to the slight nip in the air as the fire steadily grew back to life after the chief fed it.
Pulling it open, he peeked through the entrance to brace against the biting wind that blew in through the crevice. Hama was standing just beyond with her green shawl tucked securely over her shoulders to guard against the fat flakes of snow that drifted in the golden morning light.
“Hama?” He blurted, shuffling back to allow the older woman in out of the cold. She followed gratefully holding the prince’s satchel in her hands as she shook the snow off her thin shoulders and smiled tiredly. She looked about as bad as Hakoda felt at the moment, which didn’t bode well for whatever news she had to offer this early in the morning.
“Good morning Hakoda. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” She stated cautiously, eyeing the cold gear he had already adorned before turning her weary expression towards Bato. His lover just rubbed awkwardly at the back of his neck as he nodded.
“Is something wrong?” Worry pinched his brow in a similar way that it did for Hakoda’s, as both men turned their attention on the elderly woman.
“Li and Shin are stable at the moment.” She assured gently, anticipating their fears and quelling them quickly. “I have news on their conditions though. Something that might interest you in particular, Chief Hakoda.”
“Please, come in and sit down.” Hakoda greeted cordially, gesturing towards the table as he helped her remove her shawl and hang it up to dry from the short walk through the falling snow. Afterwards, Hakoda undressed and settled at the table across from her to get comfortable. Bato made a warm drink for each of them before settling in at Hakoda’s side. The satchel was sitting on the table between them as she sipped at her tankard and let the steam curl up between her fingers as she prepared herself for the news she had to give.
“In my professional opinion, I don’t believe there was anyone else in that hut with those men when the fight broke out.” She started to explain. “Li has minimal injuries that include bruising on the arms and a shallow cut on the right side of his neck curved at a downward angle that indicates he was attacked from behind.”
Hakoda had noted that those wounds had certainly implied someone had tried to slit the soldier’s throat, but Zuko was a hard man to approach unaware, especially from his blind spot, which didn’t ease the churning dread creeping back up as Hama continued.
“Shin’s left wrist is sprained and bruising indicates a firm grip caused it. He has numerous shallow cuts on the arms and similar bruising along his sides and back that indicate he had been shoved into something hard. The stab wound to his abdomen isn’t deep or deadly aside from the potential blood loss that the man faced, but Li had treated the injury quickly and precisely enough to stave that off.” She released the tankard and reached for the satchel where she withdrew a Water Tribe hunting knife and a blood stained note that was folded neatly and set aside. Sliding them towards Hakoda, the chief was hesitant to take it. Bato reached for the knife to examine before concluding what the chief feared.
“This is Shin’s knife. I’ve seen him using it quite a bit around the village.” Turning the handle around, he thumbed the polar bear crest from Tekk’s village still stained with missed flecks of blood from the initial cleaning that Hama had given it.
Hakoda took the paper in hand and carefully unfolded it, noting right off the bat that it was written in Earth Kingdom. The wording was strange to him though, remaining vague while also precise in the naming of specific details and events. The mention of an Admiral’s death struck him first before he retraced the lines that described Zuko’s broadswords with intent.
A harmless letter that was intended to hurt. Judging by the subject, Shin had a lot of problems regarding the Blue Spirit and this letter may have set him off. He would have preferred a rogue ambush over this, to think that Shin may have lured Zuko out on that hunt with the intent to do the prince harm. With the intention of killing him in the hut where the village may have never considered to look.
“Does Li know about this?” Hakoda asked as he held up the letter and handed it over to Bato to read over.
Hama nodded. “It was in his belongings, not Shin’s.”
“Spirits!” Bato cursed under his breath and set the letter back down on the table with wide eyes. He didn’t tear his gaze away as he rubbed a hand over his jaw with a grimace. “I think I might be more impressed that Li didn’t kill him on the spot, all things considered.”
“That’s not the man he is.” Hakoda answered automatically before considering that, that was the bare bones of it. Once again, he wasn’t fighting with intent to kill even while his opponent was. Shin’s wounds were shallow and precise, just as Sokka’s had been after the Agni Kai. They were meant to hurt but not be lethal, with the focused intention of scaring his foe off with the promise of pain. Like a man who had years of practice behind it. If Li actually was the Blue Spirit, and the stories could be believed then he had, as a matter-of-fact, had years of practice. He even turned around and saved Shin’s life, setting that lantern out with the hope that help will come soon and staying with the man that had, probably not even hours earlier, had attempted to slit his throat from behind.
“We need to tell Tekk.” He added after a long stretch of heavy silence had settled with no one who dared break it yet. Their eyes were set on the knife and the letter, the most damning evidence they had against the man. He wasn’t even sure how to proceed after this point. Shin not only tried to kill another war prize, but a fellow countryman, a soldier from his own nation, and the very Prince of his homeland. Hakoda worried whether or not Shin knew of Zuko’s real identity as royalty or if this was merely a vendetta against a ghost from his past.
They wouldn’t know until the man woke and could speak in his own defense. Perhaps once Zuko was more lucid on the topic, he may change his mind but Hakoda sincerely doubted that. It wasn’t the prince’s style as stubborn and outrageous as he often could be, he was a man of strict morals and a sort of insane loyalty that often invited trouble and pain. He could imagine this betrayal had hurt the soldier dearly, but from what Hakoda could tell, he was beginning to understand that this was a pain the prince may already be accustomed to.
Notes:
I'll admit, I didn't preplan that table sled scene at all. I started writing and winging it, went "oh shit, how are they gonna get Shin down that steep ass slope that I hyped up" and just went back to the previous scene in the hut and went from there. So yeah. Table sled. You adapt in extreme circumstances with what you have.
Things are going to start lightening up from this point on so yay.
Enjoy!
Chapter 36
Summary:
The Council has a meeting, and some very hard topics are discussed in regards to Shin and Zuko.
Notes:
WARNING:
Mentions of ritual suicide and its cultural significance (similar to how it was in imperial Japan), self-immolation in form of protest and suicidal tendencies in the military as a result of societal encouragement and war trauma.The majority of this discussion is towards the end of the chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Zuko noticed a few things when he started to stir awake. For starters, his head and neck hurt which was entirely rude on its own but he was used to that discomfort by now. He opted to remind himself to apply some of the arnica oil before breakfast and let a warm rag handle it before beginning his work for Hama for the day. Secondly, he was very warm and very comfortable, all things considered as something squishy and firm rested against him. It took a few seconds for him to recognize the familiar rise and fall of steady breathing rhythms. His hand was resting against a similar stretch of warm pudge that could only belong to one overgrown platypus bear of a tribesman. Peeking an eye out, he noted that yes, he was curled up on top of a half naked Sokka, and yes he was half naked himself. His face burned hot with embarrassment as he remained poised between two major conflicts before it all came crashing down in a flood of relief.
It took a few minutes for his fuzzy memories to make it through the throbbing pain in his head and recall the events of the night before and his extremely close brush with death. So no, he did not accidentally end up sleeping with his not-caretaker despite what recent fantasies may have hoped for. Though, he couldn’t ignore the warm stretch of Sokka’s legs as they tangled with his and the thick press of his thighs as Zuko rested his head firmly against the bountiful pillowy bosom of the tribesman that he missed so dearly. Sokka had one arm draped around his midsection as he slept, dead to the world and so relaxed beneath Zuko.
He was relieved to know that he hadn’t just imagined that Sokka had come to his rescue in the night, or the strong secure hold of his arms as he held him firmly against his chest and begged for Zuko to stay awake and keep talking. As he pleaded for him to say anything even if it came with hatred burning hot in his veins. Zuko could only feel an overwhelming joy in knowing Sokka didn’t resent him, even if it filled the prince with an equal amount of grief to hear so much fear laced in the warrior’s voice as he called to him and held him with a near painful grip. The desperation rang in his ear against the chilled wind that battered his skin and clawed its icy grasp deeper into his bones until he felt like he would never be warm again.
Sokka had been there. Sokka still cared and Zuko couldn’t help but feel guiltier for all the heartache he had caused this man who only ever wanted to protect him and care for him in a way that Zuko never truly had in his life. Zuko was afraid that he had already burned that bridge but Sokka still found a way to cross it and salvage the remains.
Wistfully, he brushed his thumb over the pink scarring along the warrior's collarbone and cringed inwardly at the tender tissue. The evidence of his actions carved clear as day into the tribesman. His sins. His betrayal. The pain he caused, right where all could see it. It hurt and he couldn't tear his eyes away from it. There was no amount of apologies, nothing he could say that could make up for it. Just as it always was, Zuko hurt Sokka and Sokka gracefully took every blow and still cared despite the prince giving him every excuse to cut him out for good. He was no longer Sokka’s charge, and yet the soldier couldn’t help but hope as he braced against the frigid temperatures to set the lantern out that Sokka would see it and come looking for him. That Sokka would know this was the beacon of his hopes, an echo of that night spent in quiet companionship as the prince stood vigil for his fallen men and Sokka had been the silent comforting presence that held him together even as Zuko was steadily breaking apart.
Just like Uncle Iroh, just like Lu Ten and his mother and Azula, Sokka was another person in his life that he didn’t deserve the loyalty and love of. He was another person who stood through it all with him and still chose to weather these terrible storms that barraged the prince. Zuko lied and Sokka still came for him.
He had been so scared up in that hut, not because of the prospect of death, but because he would never get the chance to apologize for all the horrible things he had done to the tribesman. He would never get the chance to ask for his forgiveness, even though every fiber of Zuko’s being had grown content with death. He had come to expect it so many times, but it had passed over him again and again. With each day he faced Agni’s light, he wondered if it was a gift or another punishment being inflicted upon him that he remained here, struggling against the current with every breath left in his lungs.
What more could the spirits take from him?
What new torture had they left in store?
For the first time in his life, Zuko faced death down, felt his cold blade cutting into his neck and decided, with full certainty, that he wasn’t ready to die. He had no reason to fight, he had nobody left to protect, no promises left to keep but he decided at that moment when Shin’s knife had made it a quarter of the way across his neck, that this wasn’t how he wanted it to end. Despite all the pain he had endured and the grim news he received, his thoughts could only focus on Sokka. He couldn’t go like this. He couldn’t leave, he couldn’t give himself to this fate, though it was justifiable if he had, without saying goodbye to Sokka first.
So he fought back, even when his mind refused to put much effort into it. It wasn’t the bitter cold that had stayed his hand and made him clumsy and sluggish. It wasn’t the pain in his wounds from the biting wind that chilled him and left him fuzzy and out of sorts, or even the shock and surprise of an execution style ambush from behind when he thought Shin was a friend. Zuko hadn’t fought to kill, just as he hadn’t fought to kill Sokka so many times, or all the times he had fought as the Blue Spirit and only left his enemies bleeding with minor injuries that could be treated without maiming.
Zhao had, of course, been the exception in that. Officially, he was the only man the Blue Spirit had struck dead. It had certainly colored quite a few stories about his second identity, and made many a man lucky to count his breaths still after crossing the Blue Spirit’s path. It wasn’t something that Zuko was proud of, but neither were a lot of things he had to do in his life these last few years.
Sighing, he turned his head to peer over Sokka’s shoulder where he could peek at the cot across from them and spotted the prone unconscious form of the soldier. There were furs bundled firmly around him to keep him warm, though he looked far too pale for Zuko’s comfort and the rise and fall of his breathing was barely noticeable even as the prince squinted to sharpen his focus on the tiny details. Hama wasn’t in the hut, which Zuko hoped she had taken the time to rest after the trouble they put her through. The guilt gnawed at him once again as he curled closer to Sokka and buried his face into the crook of the warrior’s neck.
Part of him cursed himself and suggested that he should extricate himself from the man’s arms, but another selfish part of him didn’t want to leave. If this fragile moment of comfort and acceptance was all he had to hold him through the winter then he was going to savor it and hope it’s enough to keep him warm until spring.
Somehow Zuko had fallen back asleep. He wasn't sure how long it was for, maybe an hour he guessed but it was hard to tell without any outside light to estimate it off of. He woke again to the gentle familiar glide of Sokka's fingers trailing equally as familiar and comforting patterns across his back and up along his spine. The soldier shivered as he snuggled closer, relishing in the way the warrior's arms tightened around him instinctively as if he might slip away if Sokka loosened his grip for even a moment. Zuko didn't mind that paranoid implication, finding relief in the subconscious action as a reflection of the warrior's true feelings towards him. He let out a shaky breath and attempted to muster the courage to open his eyes and greet the tribesman's gaze, lucidly for the first time in weeks.
He was afraid of what he may find and that didn't stop the nauseating tightness in his empty stomach as he slowly raised his head. He froze when another voice came, hushed as it spoke in Water Tribe with a similar growly note to the sound that he was painfully familiar with. Zuko's face warmed when he realized Chief Hakoda was sitting directly behind him and from the sounds of it, he and Sokka had been talking quietly to one another in an effort not to wake him.
A quiet chuckle left Sokka's chest as he smoothed a palm across Zuko's shoulders and teased the short ends of his hair with his fingers. "You awake, my fiery little ferret?" The warrior teased gently in Fire Nation, causing Zuko's face to heat even further with embarrassment as he lifted his head to find Sokka's crooked smile of amusement.
The prince couldn't help but bury his face back into Sokka's shoulder as the warrior looped his arms more securely around his shoulders and snickered. At the bare bones of it, he had no reason to be embarrassed right now. Yes, he and Sokka were cuddled together for warmth in a very professional way, he assured. Yes they were both half naked but again, the best way to treat hypothermia was with direct skin to skin contact. This was Zuko's first time experiencing hypothermia like this but he's had enough cold water rescue training to understand the necessity for it. There was no shame in providing medical care, even if that medical care required both parties to be absent of clothing. This very obvious and undeniable fact did not stop the creeping heat that rose up his face to the tips of his ears because he was half naked and snuggling with the Chief's son in a similar state of undress in front of the Chief himself.
"You okay Li?" Hakoda's voice came softly from Zuko's side, his words rife with worry for the soldier's sake in a way that didn't diffuse his feelings on the situation much at all. "I can go get Hama if you're still feeling unwell."
Zuko made an unhappy noise in his throat as he shook his head in a short jerky motion. He kept his eyes low, staring at the dark skin of Sokka's chest as the warrior continued to soothingly pet his hair in that affectionate way that he used to. The prince missed this so very much and couldn't help but lean into the touch. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as the wave of guilt returned stronger than before and crashed over him hard enough to make him writhe. His gut lurched its displeasure as he shuddered and focused on breathing.
"Li?" Sokka asked gently now, the amusement gone in his voice and replaced with so much worry. "Are you sure you're alright?" He felt warm fingers catch his chin to lift his eyes to meet Sokka's when he finally dared to open them. They were just as blue as Zuko remembered them being, like polished ice beneath a troubled sea. He sucked in another deep breath, feeling nervous now as he averted his gaze with an awkward shrug.
His body was being battered by so many signals at once that he couldn't tell what exactly was going on.
"Do you feel like you might be sick?" Sokka asked after a moment to inspect him closely. Zuko gave another half hearted shrug but the tight knot of his stomach wasn't all that reassuring so he nodded quickly to correct himself.
"I'll go get Hama." Hakoda chipped in. Zuko's back spasmed at the sound of the older man rising out of his seat before briskly walking around their cot and towards the door. Zuko couldn't stop the growing shame that twisted him up inside as he considered just how exhausted the healer might be after these last few days. He wasn't doing much to alleviate her troubles and he felt immensely guilty for that.
"Hey buddy," Sokka coaxed him in that soothing voice he often used when the prince was out of sorts, letting his words come light and airy instead of direct and knowing. "Do you wanna maybe sit upright? Will that help at all?"
Zuko squeezed his eyes shut, took another deep breath then nodded again. Sokka made a noise of understanding. "Alright. Here we go." He hummed as he adjusted both their bodies on the cot at once. With how much of Zuko was actually partially lying on or straddling Sokka, it wasn't that hard to rearrange them both at the same time. Sitting upright did help a little and abated the nausea a bit as he breathed, letting his head sag tiredly against Sokka's shoulder. The tribesman kept one arm wrapped firmly around his shoulders to keep him close, while the other brushed his hair out of his face with worried motions as they waited.
Hama came back in with Hakoda close behind a few minutes later. The healer studied him closely when she approached and came to rest on Sokka's side of the cot so she would be in his clear line of sight.
"How are you feeling dear?" She asked gently.
Zuko shivered as the cool air from outside slipped in and danced hauntingly against his bare shoulders. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the tightening of his stomach as his mind recalled scant memories of last night. Of the bitter cold biting at his skin and the relief Shin's blood had offered to his cold hands in a sickening turn as he tried to stop the bleeding with bundled clothes and balls of snow.
He shook his head and made an incoherent noise in his throat. One hand rested on his stomach in quiet answer, hoping Hama understood the silent plea. The healer got the message across loud and clear as she hastily left their side at the cot. Her shuffling steps sounded around the room before she came back with a bucket for Zuko to cling to. He appreciated the haste and twisted around so his back was to Sokka's chest. The warrior kept one arm gently around his midsection so he didn't slide off the cot in their precarious balancing act to stay huddled together on it. His other hand resumed running through his hair in comforting motions that offered a more pleasant distraction for Zuko to focus on than the churning displeasure of his stomach.
After a few minutes, Hama returned again with a cup of medicinal tea that she held out for Zuko. Sokka took it in hand and held it carefully, guiding Zuko's shaking hands as he tried to maneuver it up to his lips.
"That should help with the nausea right now. Getting some food in your stomach will help in the long run. I have a light broth already going for you dear." The healer informed him in that motherly way. Zuko could only give a curt nod of understanding as he slowly sipped at the bitter medicine until it was all gone. It was warm and helped ease his stomach some from the tension wound up into tangle knots since he woke. It put him at ease so he didn't need to cling to the bucket as hard.
Letting it rest off to the side on the floor so it was no longer in the way, he handed the empty cup back to Hama and let his weight lean back against Sokka. The warrior adjusted the blankets around him and hummed approvingly.
"How does your neck feel?" Hakoda asked as Hama shuffled off to prepare the broth she had warming up by the fire.
Zuko simply shrugged at first. He snaked a hand up to touch the thickly padded bandages along the curve of his jaw and dragged his thumb along the wound. He didn't really feel it now that he thought about it so he tilted his head experimentally and focused on the sharp but very tolerable pinpricks of pain. It was a dull ache to his senses compared to the greater wounds in his heart. Hakoda watched him closely for an answer before Zuko just shrugged, looking puzzled by it all.
The chief appeared relieved at least as he smiled tiredly. "I'm glad that it wasn't any worse."
He nodded in agreement. Sokka made an unhappy noise at Zuko's back as the arm near his midsection tightened its hold just a fraction. His fingers continued to massage through his hair, toying with the length of it as it grew out shaggy again and tickled the nape of his neck. After another few minutes, Hama came back with a bowl of hot broth for him to sip at and fill his stomach with something easier to occupy it. Hakoda had resumed his seat by the cot as Sokka watched him while Hama flitted about busying herself with other work that needed her attention more. Zuko was content with that, preferring to have less eyes leveled on him, studying his every move with care and caution like he was something fragile to be minded.
He focused most of his attention on the bowl until he had it empty and let the warm ceramic settle comfortably against his palms. His good eye strayed its attention towards where Shin was still resting unconscious in the cot, looking so alone in that dark corner. Setting the bowl aside on the side table near his cot, he pulled the woven blanket off the top layer and wrapped it carefully around his shoulders and shuffled towards the edge of the frame.
“Li?” Sokka called gently as he let his arms fall away from the prince so he could adjust. It took a moment for Zuko to find his footing once he stood up, wincing inwardly at the chill of the floor against his bare feet as he took an unsteady step forward. Hakoda held his hand out towards the soldier in a wary offering of help but Zuko waved it off as he clutched the blanket around his shoulders and went towards his work table. There was an unlit lantern that he used for late night studying when the hut was too quiet and his thoughts too loud to find peace. Using his spark rocks, he lit the lantern and made his way back across the room towards Shin’s cot. In the corner of his good eye, he caught Hakoda rising from his seat to approach, but Sokka lifted a hand to stop his dad and eased him back into his seat. All eyes were settled on his back as he set the lantern on the bedside table next to Shin.
It was customary in the Fire Nation that when a man lays in his deathbed or someone is badly sick with the chances that they might not make it, a lantern would be lit and left burning by their bedside. So that they weren’t alone when they passed, with Agni’s comfort by their side and the guiding light to usher them into the next world. His own family and the Fire Sages had done it for him for most of his life, and Zuko has done the same for many of the men under his command who lie sick and badly wounded in the medical tents, ensuring that even in the cold of night without Agni’s light shining upon them, they were not alone.
Shin made a choice, but it was not his fault. Zuko understood that better than anyone else.
Lowering himself to kneel, he folded his hands in a Fire Nation prayer and bowed his head, sending a plea to Agni for this man’s soul and asked for Agni’s forgiveness in his name.
Zuko’s eyes were closed when the door to Hama’s hut opened, inviting a cold wind in to rustle the blanket around his shoulders as he continued to pray, mouthing the familiar mantra of the Fire Sage prayer that he’d heard uttered over him since childhood in half conscious states of dwindling lucidity. When he was finished, he opened his eyes and lifted his head to find Tekkeitsertok standing on the other side of Shin’s cot.
He looked so incredibly tired and for once, he actually looked like his age with deep shadows clinging to his face and the dark lines of worry and restlessness. His eyes were wrought with so much grief as he approached the cot and knelt across from him. Zuko stilled at first, eying the man with so much sorrow in his own eyes as he bowed his head apologetically.
“Thank you.” Tekkeitsertok whispered, his voice low and choked around the Fire Nation syllables. “It takes a strong man to show so much mercy.” He extended his hands, palms held out for Zuko’s in quiet offering with tears rife in his eyes as he took a shaky breath and asked ever so softly. “Pray with me, please?”
The prince nodded and held his hands out to the elder chief. Tekkeitsertok’s palms enveloped his as they came together and held him firmly but not painfully. They both bowed their heads as Tekkeitsertok spoke a Water Tribe prayer for Shin, and Zuko held the man’s presence in his mind as he quietly asked for forgiveness for all the wrongs he had inflicted upon this man.
The healer’s hut was silent after the display Zuko put on before them all as he prayed over Shin’s unconscious form and after, as Tekk held him like a lifeline and begged the spirits for the safety and sake of these two wounded men, that they may heal and overcome whatever obstacles await them. Sokka was aware that Zuko may not have understood the prayer or the words being said but he was quietly resigned to them as he waited until Tekkeitsertok was finished before finding his feet to return to the cot. He was even more quiet than before as he shuffled over to rest against the warrior, still shivering from the cold that slipped in with every opening of the door. Sokka gratefully tugged him into his arms and smoothed his hand along the man’s back to comfort him as he lowered his head against his shoulder to rest.
It wasn’t long before Zuko had fallen asleep again. Sokka was reclined back on the cot with the man lying limp against his chest with the furs tucked firmly around them as he spied his dad’s quietly troubled expression. They had a hard decision to make, and nobody was prepared to address it. Never before had this sort of thing happened, that a former war prize had attacked a current one in such a methodical way. Shin wasn’t awake to defend himself and his side of the story, but what evidence they did have couldn’t be refuted.
Despite the dangers and the damages, despite the pain and close call Zuko had endured, he still showed so much care for the man that had inflicted it all upon him. He wasn’t afraid of Shin. He approached him with so much regret and sorrow. He was gentle in his handling as he prayed, and set the lantern out for the man’s soul as he balanced on that precarious edge between life and death.
A part of it hurt to admit, but Sokka would have to say, Zuko was a far better man than Sokka could ever be. Had their places been switched, Sokka couldn’t say with any comfort that he would have shown a similar mercy had he been in Zuko’s shoes. If Shin had attacked him like that, with such a clear intent to kill, they would be offering funeral rites instead of prayers for recovery.
Hakoda beckoned for Hama to come over as he asked quietly in their native tongue so as not to wake Zuko back up from his nap. “Do you think he’ll be alright standing before the council later today?”
Hama paused to inspect the soldier for a long contemplative moment. “Physically, yes. Mentally? I don’t think any of us really know the answer to that.”
His dad nodded, before turning his attention towards Sokka with a sigh. “What do you think, son?”
The warrior was surprised by that question as he considered his dad for a long minute before turning his attention back down to Zuko as he ran his fingers along the soldier’s back, rubbing his thumb along the bumps and ridges of old scarring that was etched into his skin. Zuko had been through so much and managed to persevere regardless of the odds. He was stronger than any tribesman or soldier Sokka had ever had the pleasure of meeting in his entire life. But Sokka was also painfully aware that Zuko was just one man who consistently faced one hardship after another with this agonizing selfless need to deal with it all on his own and it was clearly wearing him so thin that he just might break at any moment.
“I don’t know.” He admitted softly. “All we can do is wait and see. If he’s ready, he’ll let us know.”
Hakoda nodded curtly and leaned back in his chair with a heavier sigh. “Alright. I’ll pass it along to the elders. I’ll check back in, in a few hours. Do you need anything at all?”
“I’m good, thanks though.” Sokka assured as he massaged his palm across Zuko’s shoulder and watched the quiet rise and fall of his chest in the throes of sleep.
It was getting late in the evening when the elders gathered for the council. Sokka had accompanied the prince to the longhouse with Hama at their side. Katara was sitting in the healer’s hut while two of Tekk’s crew stood watch over Shin. Both Chiefs were waiting for them once they entered and the warmth of the central fire filled the room with a comfortable heat that Zuko seemed to appreciate as he hunkered into his cloak. His padded scout uniform shielded him from the bitter wind, as his other parka had been set aside to be washed thoroughly to clean off the blood from Shin. He lingered close to Sokka as the warrior kept a comforting arm wrapped around his shoulders.
Gran Gran, Pana, Ikiaq, Kaluk and Kodiak were present, along with Lady Ezra who was seated off to the side as an additional set of eyes regarding Fire Nation soldiers and culture. Tekkeitsertok, Hakoda and Bato were seated near her in the same row as they watched.
Zuko was settled between him and Hama as they faced the gathered council and nervously anticipated the questions ahead.
What should have been a meeting of Chiefs to discuss the future of their tribes had now become a meeting of tribes to discuss a grave threat within their ranks. Gran Gran looked grim as she spoke, breaking the heavy silence that settled over the room like an ominous fog to be wary of.
"We have gathered here today to discuss the crime that has been committed within our tribe by Shin, currently of the Polar Bear Tribe, formerly of the Fire Nation, and inflicted upon Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, currently war prize and ward of the Wolf Tribe." She began in Fire Nation, declaring the facts of the hearing before all who bore witness to it.
"Chief Tekkeitsertok," Her tired eyes turned towards the elder Chief as he rose from his seat to greet her respectfully. "Shin is your ward and as such, you shall speak for him in his stead in today's hearing."
"Yes, councilwoman Kanna." He bowed his head in understanding and stepped towards the center of the room, coming to rest beside Hama so he was facing the elders as well. Sokka had never seen him look so beaten down before with the weight of such a great burden dragging him down. The life had bled right out of him as he forced himself to stand firm before the council and listen intently to every word though every second seemed to pain him to do so. Back in the row, Hakoda shared a sympathetic look with the chief as his features fell remorsefully.
Sokka was painfully reminded of his own presence all those weeks ago as he stood before the council to face a losing argument that only led to more pain, and he felt an ache for Tekk's sake.
Gran Gran invited Hama to step forward first as she explained in detail what the injuries she discovered on both men seemed to imply. She described Shin's wounds, the placement of each and the haste and care used to treat them in the aftermath. When Hama finished her explanation, Gran Gran turned her attention towards Zuko.
"Prince Zuko, what is the accuracy of healer Hama's estimation?"
The prince had assumed that unnaturally stiff military posture that made his back go ramrod straight and his eyes seemed distant as they fixed on the council. His tone was impossibly formal like he was providing a report back to his superiors.
"She is correct." He stated flatly. "Though, Shin did not make his move immediately. His intentions did not seem clear and from my own estimation, I regret to say that he was afraid for his life while in my presence. I had not seen the warning signs until he made the attempt."
Gran Gran nodded curtly and turned her attention towards Tekk now, as she asked. "Judging by the letter that Hama found addressed to Shin, he seems to have a history with this Blue Spirit figure? Were you aware of this, Chief Tekkeitsertok?"
At the mention of the Blue Spirit, Zuko seemed to go ghostly pale but his eyes never strayed from their intense fixation. His breathing was forcefully even as he attempted a very subtle form of the breathing exercises Sokka had come to recognize when the soldier was feeling cornered or upset.
Tekk looked exhausted and resigned as he nodded in confirmation. "I was. Shin confided in me about his traumatic experience with the Blue Spirit in the past and how that affected him. Ever since he joined our tribe as a war prize, he has suffered nightmares, panic attacks and episodes of minor hallucinations regarding this spirit being that haunts him."
"How has it affected him lately?" Gran Gran proceeded to inquire.
"He had appeared to improve this last year." Tekk informed tiredly, sounding sad and disappointed. "The nightmares were few and far between, and he sought counsel with me once a week to address this. His entire outlook on life had changed for the better as he found his place in the tribe that he felt comfortable with, and his betrothal to my daughter Leyla."
"Did Shin inform you about this letter at any point in time?" She proceeded sternly.
"No, he did not." Tekk looked heartbroken by that. Absolutely crushed by the weight of those words. "If he had, I would have never allowed him to join us on this trip."
"I see." Gran Gran sighed, setting the letter aside as she considered her next questions closely. "Prince Zuko, would you please explain what the Blue Spirit has to do with you?"
The prince drew in a deep breath to prepare himself as he pursed his lips and frowned to himself before letting out a long exhale. "I am the Blue Spirit. I have been since I was seventeen years old."
"But you're a Fire Nation prince." Kaluk pointed out bluntly. "Why is a Fire Nation royal going around dressed like a spirit tale?"
"A theater performance." Zuko corrected respectfully. "The Blue Spirit mask and outfit is based on the Dark Water Spirit from the popular Fire Nation romance play Love Amongst The Dragons. It was my and my mother's favorite play." He sounded wistful of that, a pained yearning that Sokka couldn't properly describe but it ached and it showed in the soldier's face as the corner of his mouth quivered at the mention of his mother. He drew in another careful breath before continuing.
"When I first enlisted in the Fire Nation military, I was placed at the head of the 41st division under the command of, at the time, Captain Zhao." Zuko stated it matter-of-fact in that cold passive tone that made Sokka uneasy. "There was a battle for territory, just a small plot of land really that wasn't even worthy for farming space but it mattered on a map and so they sent us in to take it. We were unaware that our task was to play decoy so a second more seasoned battalion could come behind our enemy and take them by surprise. Hundreds of young men, still fresh from basic training had been slaughtered in a suicide mission."
Sokka felt his throat go dry and tight as Zuko continued, describing the battle and how it played out. How Captain Zhao refused to order a retreat to safer ground, until they could no longer flee the way they had intended. They were surrounded on all sides with no way of escape, and Zuko was helpless to lead his men to safety. He stood, frozen with fear as he stared down the enemy that came with intent to kill each and every one of them.
He described how he fought, dragging the wounded and bloodied bodies of his men back behind protection in a more defensible position but it was too late. Without the medics or the proper training, he couldn't fight and treat their wounds. All he had succeeded in doing was stacking bodies against his back with the fragile hope that if even just one man lives then he did good enough.
The battalion arrived to secure their location but Zuko had sustained enough injuries that he was unable to fight through the exhaustion from holding back innumerable Earth Kingdom soldiers that were better armed and trained than any of them had been.
After the battle, there were enough survivors left of the 41st that Zuko could count them on one hand, himself and Captain Zhao included. After the battle, he was reassigned to naval service for two years, serving beside his Uncle, the famed Dragon of the West, General Iroh and Prince Lu Ten. It was during this time that he had taken up the role of being the Blue Spirit. It happened on a whim after a dream he had one night aboard their ship, and with his unique set of skills, he was able to hone his talents in ensuring no more casualties came about. It began as simply stealing information that was being withheld from him and his men by their comrades, ensuring they were never blindsided again. But then, as time went on, he started intervening when he discovered his own countrymen committing atrocities that went against the Fire Nation military code of conduct and was dishonorable to their nation.
He had numerous run-ins with Zhao, now acting commander and then later Admiral as he steadily climbed up the ranks over the years. Zuko had described the night he interrupted a group of Zhao's men who had caught a handful of Earth Kingdom orphans stealing food from the military depot. Food that had been taken from the local farmers by force and without any choice in the matter of whether they starve or die. He explained, with cold detachment, how he curled his body around a frightened teenager that had been given the whip. A boy, the same age as Zuko himself at the time, who led a group of children against bullies just for scraps of food. Sokka realized, this was how Zuko got those whip marks they had all been speculating about for months with increasingly terrible ideas that came about involving their source. Sokka didn't know whether this was better or worse in the end, he felt sick to his stomach regardless.
"Admiral Zhao knew it was me that had intervened. I'm not entirely sure how, but he knew and he made it pretty clear when we crossed paths in the palace a few weeks later. I devised a plan with well placed rumors to ensure he was conveniently removed from Caldera's court for the troublesome implications the rumors caused. This led to him being stationed at Pohuai Stronghold, which I was not aware of at the time." He stressed that last part carefully.
The task to sneak into Pohuai had been simple enough, with the same goal as many other times before it. It wasn't Zuko's first time he had done so and was only aware that General Shinu was present in the stronghold. Zhao had been there and recognized him when the Yuyan Archers spotted him just as he was slipping away over the battlements. They acted on orders and gave chase, Zuko had been cornered with nowhere else to flee. There were nearly a hundred soldiers all sent to apprehend him and he was struggling to keep his distance and disarm each man that came towards him.
"Zhao had come out of nowhere and crept up on me from behind. I didn't even realize he was there due to my blind spot. He tried to strike me, I heard his voice and felt a hand pull me back. It happened so quickly that I hadn't even realized what I'd done until the battlements fell to silence. The men stared in horror as Zhao's head rolled down the steps towards General Shinu's feet." Zuko looked hollow as he recalled this story with much more effort now than it had on the ship when he first told Sokka. His hands were wound into tight white knuckled fists at his sides as he remained just as stiff and formal since the start. His tone was even, unwavering as he continued.
"Shin must have been stationed there at the time." He shook his head slowly, grief creeping in as it twisted the scarred side of his face into a grimace. "I had no intention of harming any of my countrymen like that, no matter their failures or shortcomings. Every man deserves a chance to make amends for their mistakes and Zhao, despite how infuriating he could be at times, was no different."
He drew in a shaky breath again, a vain attempt to regain his composure before it started to crumble as he added. "Please, be kind to Shin, I implore you. I'm just as much to blame for all of this. As his prince, I failed him just as I have failed so many of my people over the years."
"Zuko." Sokka uttered softly, wanting to reach out and comfort the soldier but he couldn't. Zuko held firm in his stance as he waited for the elder's response. The entire room had gone dead silent as they looked varying degrees of grim and uncomfortable. Pana and Kodiak looked like they might be sick, Kaluk looked genuinely mortified if his naturally sour face being scrunched in that way was any signifier, and Gran Gran was paler than was comforting. It took them all quite a bit to find their footing again and soon, their words.
Kodiak was the first to speak when nobody else appeared inclined to, as a question dawned on him. "Prince Zuko, is there anyone you might think may be behind this letter?" He gestured at the folded up piece of parchment for emphasis. Sokka could see the blood stains on the page from here.
Zuko nodded. "I can count the number of people who were aware of my identity as the Blue Spirit on one hand. Two would never wish me harm, one is dead and one is currently incapacitated. Which leaves my father, Prince Ozai, as the only possible culprit."
"Your father?" Kaluk balked. "Why in Tui's name would your father send someone to have you killed?"
Zuko sighed, letting his mouth curve bitterly in a half smile as he offered coldly. "It's not the first time he's tried, sir. Just the closest he's gotten to succeeding." There was a horrifying level of amusement as he cracked away from that overly stiff tone of voice. "He's remarkably improved over the years, which certainly says something when one time involved a misplaced candle in my bedchambers when I was a boy."
The soft gasp from Lady Ezra was the startling sound that made that morbidly humorous comment click into place as Zuko massaged the burn scar on the left side of his face. The uncomfortable silence returned as the elders all glanced about worried.
After a pause, Zuko offered apologetically. "We can safely assume now that my letter to General Fong never reached its destination. I presume my father's spies intercepted it if he was aware that I am still alive."
Sokka felt that news like a punch to the gut now as he considered what that really meant. Their argument, the bickering and squabbling, the Agni Kai, and weeks of so much misery had been ultimately, for nothing now. Though he felt comforted in knowing there was less of a chance that Fong will try to take Zuko away from them now, and they had more opportunities to negotiate for the future of their tribes. But first, they now had to deal with Prince Ozai's apparent desire to kill his own son like it was a personal hobby.
The rest of the hearing became something of higher concern as the council convened behind closed doors to discuss further on the topic. Zuko, Bato and Hama were permitted to leave, while the elders, Lady Ezra, Tekk, Hakoda and Sokka were urged to stay to offer their own thoughts on the matter. The private chamber was getting cramped with all the people settled in but at least it was warm.
Sokka settled down on the floor with a sigh as the council discussed the consequences for one or both men. Given that Zuko was a war prize, a Fire Nation citizen and the Prince of said nation, it colored Shin's actions in a darker light.
On one hand, Zuko was a ward of the water tribes and a war prize to be protected, on the other hand, this was an act between two Fire Nation soldiers with a shared history whether they were aware of it or not.
"How would this be handled in the Fire Nation, Prince Zuko's royal status not included of course?" Kodiak asked of his wife as she sat poised and polite by his side with all the dignity of a noblewoman.
She considered the question for several minutes before offering, with a flat and calculated tone that betrayed the gravity of her words. "It would be considered an act of treason on Prince Zuko's part and he would either be imprisoned by way of house arrest with the quiet implications that he should commit ritual suicide during his time locked away to prevent bringing shame upon his family, or he would be executed by a military firing squad for the death of an Admiral."
After a moment, she added just as matter-of-fact. "In fact, I'm genuinely surprised that Prince Zuko hadn't already committed ritual suicide upon being captured by your tribe. Or that Shin hasn't attempted the same already. It's quite encouraged in the Fire Nation military to avoid shame and dishonor for failing to kill your enemy or to be killed by them."
"What?" Sokka blurted out without quite realizing the volume of his voice. The rest of the room sat in stark silence as Sokka's mind unhelpfully reminded him of the dagger hidden in Zuko's boot after his capture. The dagger that he never used on Sokka despite having ample opportunity. He felt like he was going to be sick but he had to ask, he needed to know. "By ritual suicide, what exactly do you mean?"
"Disembowelment or self-immolation are common forms, especially in public protest against the formal government. But ritual suicide by disembowelment was heavily encouraged and explained in basic training for many soldiers, mostly those heading to the front. They didn't tell us about it much for those of us that remained on the shores of our homeland."
"Spirits!" Pana gasped sharply, holding her hand over her mouth in horror. Before the following thought occurred. "Should we put them both on suicide watch now?"
Lady Ezra looked apologetic as she explained. "If Prince Zuko had any intention of doing so, he would have already but given his recent troubles, it might not hurt to take caution. Shin on the other hand, would benefit the most from that." She raised a hand to catch a fallen strand of hair and tuck it behind her ear as she asked. "Were none of you aware of this practice?"
Tekkeitsertok shook his head slowly before exclaiming in horror. "Nobody had informed us of this!" Then after a pause, he added remorsefully. "I do recall an early incident the first year we joined the war. One of our men had taken a war prize early on in the year but the soldier had taken their own life in the manner in which you described. We had assumed it was an unfortunate incident due to the mental well being of the soldier, but if what you say is true then we need to inform the other tribes of this news."
Sokka felt queasy like he just might throw up as his thoughts ran circles around all the little things about Zuko in those early weeks. How easily he could have come to losing his fiery little ferret. If those wolfbats hadn't attacked the camp when they did, if Zuko hadn't been forced to defend himself with the only weapon he had on hand, would Sokka have returned to his cabin to find the lifeless bleeding body of his ferret lying on the floor? Would Zuko have done as his countrymen had been instructed to do so much by their leaders and taken his own life?
The soldier had been resigned to so much, had spoken so plainly of death and faced horrible hardships to seemingly no end. How much further could he be pushed before that becomes the result?
"Suicidal tendencies aside," Kaluk stated with a grimace. "What shall we do about Shin?"
"What can we do about him?" Kodiak asked. "Prince Zuko was the wounded party here but he did break our rules in regards to war prizes."
"Chief Tekkeitsertok." Gran Gran spoke up, addressing the elder chief with care. "What consequence do you deem would be fitting for someone of Shin's status?"
"He is a wounded man who was hurt badly by this war. It does not excuse his actions, but that letter was sent with the intent to set Shin off with the full awareness of what those words could do to the man. Whatever decision is made, please be gentle with him." Tekkeitsertok pleaded desperately.
"Chief Hakoda, what are your thoughts on the matter?"
His dad shifted restlessly where he sat just beside Sokka, between him and Tekk. His jaw worked the words he wished to say around before they met the stale air between them. "I won't feel comfortable with Shin in the village knowing how unstable his mental state is. He poses a threat to himself and others, let alone Prince Zuko as well." Tekkeitsertok tensed by Hakoda's side, anticipating the words that the chief spoke with care.
"I would like to revoke Shin's right to enter the Wolf Tribe's lands, and that he be under close guard until Chief Tekkeitsertok and his men return home." His dad settled on, turning a watchful eye on Tekk as the older man sagged with visible relief. Hakoda placed a comforting hand on the elder chief's shoulder as he gave it a firm pat and a squeeze. "Shin is your ward, and you know him better than I. I trust that you'll see to him when you return to your own village, my friend."
"Do these terms seem agreeable to everyone?" There was a series of nods and murmurs of content approval to Tekk's immense relief. Sokka couldn't help but agree with the terms. If it meant keeping Shin far away from Zuko, then he was all for it and this consequence seemed fitting for what Zuko would want in the end.
Notes:
Obviously, these types of topics (ritual suicide and self-immolation) are no laughing matter, but Lady Ezra and Zuko come from a place where its so common, ingrained into their society and so actively encouraged that they've become numb to the fact that it's a horrifying thing to those outside of the Fire Nation, or the Caldera area primarily. Both of them are vehemently against it, as are Iroh and Lu Ten, and when Iroh takes over after Azulon's death, he has full intent of abolishing it's practices and removing any and all mention of it in the military, and hopefully to snuff it out of Caldera and remove the notion that its expected of people who have made shameful mistakes. It'll be a long road to recovery to step away from that mindset, but they are all hopeful for the future of their nation in doing so.
Also, Shin is a hick from a rural backwater part of the Fire Nation and this practice is not at all common where he is from, and so the notion never really crossed his mind to do that.
Chapter 37
Notes:
*throws a bunch of fluff at yall* Merry Early Christmas you heathens!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The council was dismissed and the building cleared out rather quickly as everyone else seemed eager to put all of these troubles behind them and return to the warmth of their homes. Lady Ezra and Kodiak left together, arm in arm as the tribesman spoke quietly into his wife’s ear and held her close. His dad had a comforting hand on Tekk’s shoulder as they left side by side and spoke of Shin in hushed tones as the elder chief seemed determined to go wait for his ward to wake up in the healer’s hut. Gran Gran’s smile was weak and tired as she patted Sokka's arm in a similar comfort before trailing after Pana, Kaluk and Ikiaq out the doors.
He found a comfortable opportunity to sit down and take a breather while he could and let everything sink in with the silence of the longhouse crowding in around him. The central fire was still going as he fed a few more logs into the large hearth and let it burn with the comforting snap and crackle of the flames. His thoughts danced across his mind in feather light leaps and jumps, barely settling long enough for him to truly grasp them before they were flitting away from his reach, as clumsy hands pawed and overbalanced to find purchase. He was just so tired that he couldn’t keep up and it was showing with the slow blink of his burning eyes and the dull ache in every joint.
It felt like he was being crushed by the weight of it all, despite the titan efforts it took to keep going through every day, he was lagging bit by bit. A part of him was hopeful for spring to come soon so that all of this could be settled and he’ll finally be able to face the outcome with certainty. He’ll finally be able to understand where he stood in all this and what pain he will be forced to nurse through the warmer months as he throws himself into busy work or combat. A petty part of him was leaning more towards the latter in some bitter desire to rage and roar until he can’t feel anything anymore.
The door to the longhouse opened, a sudden curse left the lips of a familiar voice as Sokka twisted around to face Bato’s hunched form warding off the wind that whipped at his back and face. He rubbed his hands together awkwardly, looking around with a brow raised in concern when he spotted Sokka sitting alone.
“Shit.” Bato groaned. “Li isn’t here, is he?”
“Uh….no.” Sokka grunted back, raising a worried brow now. “Have you checked with Hama?”
Bato nodded. “Li didn’t come with us when we left. He wanted to wait here for you to come out of the meeting.” Both men scoured the room with another quick scan, in case the soldier was being particularly quiet and tucked himself off somewhere else to wait. With nothing out of the ordinary, Bato cursed again. “I’ll check the stables. Maybe he’s visiting Humpy or something.”
“Let me know if you find him.” Sokka answered. “I’ll look around too.”
The older tribesman left in a hurry but Sokka didn’t follow him out. His thoughts rolled Bato’s words around carefully. The soldier was very insistent on keeping to his word. If he was waiting for Sokka then he was likely still in the longhouse. The real question is, where exactly? He walked the edges of the room, checked every alcove and under tables for anywhere his little fire ferret might have gone.
“Where would a ferret go in times of need?” The words no sooner left his mouth before realization struck him like a charging yak. He snapped his head up and searched the rafters for any sign of his fiery little ferret and the shadows of his mischief. It only took a minute before he spotted the cloak of his ferret dangling down from a cross beam near the supports. From this angle, it was hard to tell what exactly Zuko was doing up there, but he estimated by the lazy sprawl that was so similar to how he reclined in the tree back in the encampment, that he may have possibly fallen asleep.
“Li?” Sokka called up to him as he hovered near the bottom of the support but Zuko made no move at all. If he strained his ears, he could barely make out the sound of soft snores over the crackling fire behind himself. His lips spread into a broad smile of amusement as he searched the room for a way up, at least the most likely one. If Zuko could get up there, how hard could it really be?
As Sokka quickly discovered, the answer was: very hard.
He had to calculate his footing and reach high for handholds sturdy enough to support his weight as he dragged himself up what should have been a near impossible climb, forcing his muscles to do a kind of work he hadn’t had to since they returned home. It felt a lot like climbing the rigging on the ship as he hoisted himself up and grappled to the precarious beams above. At one point he slipped, nailing his knee hard enough on the decorative frame of the pillar, dragging a sharp gasp and a curse from his lips.
“Sokka?” A sleepy voice rasped low in confusion. He peered over, panting a little harder than he probably should, which only made him feel old and out of shape as he spotted his ferret sitting up on the beam and staring at him with a groggy eye. He blinked slowly before something seemed to click that he wasn’t still dreaming, and those adorable slow blinks turned into wide eyed surprise. “Sokka! You’ll get hurt!”
Sokka let out a breathy chuckle as he pulled himself up the rest of the way until he was laying with his chest across the beam. He had to push his feet off on the pillar and use his hands to balance himself as he scooted far enough forward before he could get his legs situated to straddle the beam and lock his ankles together so he didn’t slip off one way or another. Being so high up like this was a lot more terrifying considering his risk of falling wouldn’t be into the sea, but to the hard ground below.
“Don’t worry my little fire ferret. I’m a seafarer, remember?” He grinned broadly as he scooted back a little more so his back was firmly pressed against the pillar. He wasn’t going to let it show that he was a bit afraid of actually falling and opted to try and remain aloof and casual while he still had enough dignity left.
"It's not the same." Zuko blanched as he studied the warrior with a quizzical brow and frowned. "You're an idiot."
"Says the ferret that climbs fifteen feet up to sleep." Sokka countered, earning an indignant huff in return as Zuko bristled.
"You took a while and its warm up here." He folded his arms over his chest and scowled at the warrior. Sokka had the inkling that Zuko was imagining pushing him off the beam and decided to ease back a bit with a disarming smirk.
"Sorry about that." He scratched at his jaw thoughtfully and smiled sheepishly at the soldier. "We had a lot to talk about."
The look the smaller man gave him seemed to imply that he had questions but wasn't sure if he really wanted to know the answers. Sokka was sympathetic, knowing he had more than a few questions for the soldier himself, but he didn't have the courage to ask knowing that Zuko would give him an honest answer no matter how painful it was.
"How are you feeling?" Sokka opted for the safer avenue of a less dire question. "If you're still tired, there are less lethal places to catch a cat nap, ya know?"
Zuko shrugged and let his gaze fall to stare at the darkened corners of the longhouse where the firelight of the hearth didn't quite reach. He fidgeted a little in place as he settled his own back against the pillar. "It feels weird."
Sokka raised a brow in question, but Zuko didn't meet his gaze or expand on what exactly he meant by that. "What does, buddy?"
Another noncommittal shrug as he frowned to himself and pursed his lips in intense thought. After a few heavy heartbeats, he finally found his words. "Putting it all out there. I have nothing left to hide." He drew his knees closer to his chest so his feet were flat against the beam now. Despite the precarious situation and the alarming height they were at, Zuko looked completely comfortable and in his element up here. Every part of his body moved with calculating instinctive ease. There was never a moment of uncertainty or hesitance. He moved fluidly, like a predator preparing for an ambush. He knew every inch of the canopy he made his home out of and owned it with every fiber of his being. Sokka couldn't deny the way it made his heart beat just a bit faster as he drank in the motion of the soldier's body as he adjusted himself comfortably.
"Is that a bad thing?" Sokka asked cautiously.
Zuko's expression pinched tight as he continued to avoid the tribesman's eyes and stared now at the top of his knees as he picked at the padded fabric of his uniform trousers. They were worn from so much use judging by the faded coloring in the knees but still sturdy enough to hold out a bit longer.
"No." He seemed to hold the word on his tongue a little longer than necessary, tasting it and figuring out if it was something bitter and unkind, or a welcome relief to swallow down. "It just feels weird. If I had told anyone back home of this, I would have been killed for my treason. I would have faced imprisonment or torture at the hands of the Fire Nation or the Earth Kingdom for my crimes." He gave a little wayward roll of his shoulders as he set his chin on his knees.
"I've spent years hiding all of this, keeping it to myself. I couldn't even tell my Uncle or my cousin." Zuko looked so incredibly miserable at that.
"Isn't your Uncle in line to become the next Firelord?" Sokka had to ask, because he didn't understand why Zuko would hide this from what was essentially a very powerful ally in his corner.
The soldier nodded. "He is, but if either of them knew of what I had done, of the things I had to do, they would be forced to choose duty over family." Zuko spoke softly, his eyes going distant with grief. "I love my Uncle very much but I couldn't put him in that position and live with myself for it."
On one hand, that broke Sokka's heart to hear, but being the son of the Chief, he understood that there were some things that his father simply couldn't do. If Sokka had made the mistake, if he fucked up bad enough in the eyes of their people, if the elders saw fit to cast him out, Hakoda's hands would be tied and he would be forced to let them do so. Sokka couldn't blame him for that, just as Zuko wouldn't be able to blame his Uncle if duty demanded it of him. It was the unfortunate position of their families in the eyes of their nations. The hard choices they'd be forced to make in putting the majority before a singular individual.
"I understand." Sokka nodded curtly. The soldier shifted awkwardly on the beam like he wanted to cross it towards Sokka but decided it was better to keep their distance as they were. The tribesman wasn't sure how confident he'd feel if Zuko did cross the distance and balanced before him without the stability of the pillar at his back. It just might give him a heart attack so he appreciated that the indecisive movement ended in remaining where he was. His heart could only handle so much today.
The silence between them stretched uncomfortably as they seemed to search for something to say. Neither had chosen to break the stalemate for what felt like several minutes before Sokka shot the soldier a crooked smile. "I am relieved to know your real name is, in fact, better than Private Li. "
Zuko snorted in amusement at that, finally meeting Sokka's eyes for the first time in a while now. His mouth curved ever so slightly into a whisper of a smile as he shed the layers of grief he wore like his cloak. "It's really not that bad of a name." He tried to argue but it came out weak.
"It's a horrible name." Sokka chased the opportunity with a teasing tone. "I only noticed that awful joke when I wrote it down."
Zuko shot him an incredulous look as his only existing brow raised and his golden eye widened. "What? Were you keeping a profile on me?"
"A list, actually. It was our official List of Li's Weirdness ." He raised his hands with a dramatic flair. Then he smirked at the soldier. "It was rather impressive, honestly. It's like a resume of how badass you are. Or your own official warning label."
Zuko made a choked off noise in his throat that might have been a laugh that ended too quickly.
"I think I need to get a bigger version of it to put on your door and just add Beware of Feral Fire Ferrets at the top." Sokka purred pleasantly.
"Please don't." Zuko whined, but the little twitch of his mouth reassured Sokka that his teasing was hitting the mark and lightening the burden for the other man. He smiled warmly at the soldier and settled back with his head leaned comfortably against the pillar as he sighed in defeat.
"Well, how could I refuse the plea of such an adorable ferret?" He asked aloud. Zuko's face turned bright red as he hissed low.
"I will kick you off this beam, don't tempt me."
"Feisty too." Sokka crooned, letting his smirk spread.
Zuko stretched his legs out towards Sokka in a silent warning, even though they were far too short to actually reach him. Sokka held his hands up defensively as he conceded to the threat. "I yield!" The soldier narrowed his eyes at the warrior, even as Sokka gave his most charming smile in return.
His expression softened after a moment, followed by a contemplative hum. "You're growing your beard out." The soldier observed. Sokka lifted a hand to stroke his jaw and relished in the soft bristles of his facial hair against his palms. It was growing in rather nicely if he did say so himself. He needed to trim it a little to clean it up after the last few days he's had, but he felt rather proud of it now. It was the first time he's actually let himself grow one out.
"Like it?" Sokka postured, tilting his head to show off the short dark hairs along his jawline and the little patch under his bottom lip. Zuko looked a touch embarrassed as he nodded, looking as bashful as a young boy trying so hard to flirt and not really knowing what to do with himself. Sokka chuckled.
"Did you-" Zuko started before biting his lip self-consciously. He ducked his head and stared down at his knees as he considered what he wanted to say and let out a small shaky breath.
"Did I…?" Sokka teased out the rest of the question carefully, keeping his voice warm and inviting as he waited for an answer or explanation.
Zuko shifted anxiously on the beam as he tucked his knees back close and fidgeted his hands together. His cheeks took a soft pink hue that darkened and spread up towards his good ear until it was a similar deep shade. This was too much for Sokka. He wanted to reach out and drag the soldier over into a full body hug, to run his hands along his cheek and smile and laugh and tease him for being so hopelessly foolish. But he also knew that they were on new unsteady ground, the precarious balancing act of reality aside, they were also navigating their own balancing act of trying to find their sides again. Their relationship had faced a metamorphosis that neither seemed all that familiar with and the terrain was an unknown before them. Sokka was no longer caretaker but he didn't know if that opened up any further avenues for something more. Perhaps he might have been a little too bold in assuming friend was a valid opening, but things had already started building and Sokka never stopped to consider whether or not Zuko was ready for this yet, or even wanted it still.
Nervously, the soldier answered him in a voice so soft when he finally found his words. "Did you grow it out because I asked you to?"
Sokka hummed his approval, unashamed of admitting that bare bones fact. "I did." Even after everything that had happened, he had considered shaving it off because everytime he looked in the hand mirror, he just reminded himself of Zuko's gentle touches tracing his jaw and feeling the light brush of bristles against his fingertips as the short hairs snagged underneath. The hopeful tragic part of him left it as both a reminder of what he lost and the desire to get it back. It was both a wish and a punishment he harbored within his heart. It was proof that Zuko had been there at some point, wrapped in his arms and looking up so fondly at Sokka. It was the proof that assured him that the soldier had been there even when Katara and Gran Gran acted like he never even passed into their home at any point.
The soldier looked confused and conflicted as he shifted awkwardly on the beam and tucked his head down. Spirits, it was almost too much for Sokka to take like this.
"Ya know," He started casually, filling the quiet space between them. "if you need a place to stay while Hama's hut is occupied, your room at Gran Gran's house is still open and up for offer." He shrugged dismissively and crooked his jaw to hide the creeping hope in his expression. "You know, if you're tired and need a place to rest that isn't Bato's couch."
"Sokka, I-" Zuko looked conflicted by that as he cut himself off, and started again. "I wouldn't want to impose."
"Oh you're not imposing." Sokka assured, meeting his ferret's gaze and started to count off on his fingers. "It even has perks, like it's warmer, doesn't involve ridiculous heights, comes with better cooking and we promise to be better hosts than Humpy."
The soldier crooked his jaw before stifling an amused noise in his throat. His nose crinkled slightly in a really cute way as he shot back. "I don't know. Humpy is a pretty fantastic host. Amazing conversationalist. " He added dramatically. "And the buffalo yaks start quite the gossip."
"Oh really? I may need to investigate into these gossiping buffalo yaks." Sokka hummed thoughtfully. "They may give Katara a run for her coin."
Zuko snickered at that and let a genuine smile crack across his face. He seemed to relax a bit and nodded tiredly. "I'll talk to Hama about it first. Then we'll see."
"Of course." Sokka smiled sheepishly, and felt that dull ache of a reminder that he wasn't the primary caretaker anymore. In a way, he was relieved with that. The tension of all eyes following him constantly, the close scrutiny, it all seemed to melt away these last few weeks. It had been replaced with something less pleasant but now the elders and even Hakoda had seemed to relax now when Sokka and Zuko were in the same room. They didn't give them both that scrutinizing stare that made him feel ashamed and guilty for just being present.
"We should probably head back anyway." Zuko offered tiredly, seeming reluctant to leave his cozy spot on the beam.
Sokka nodded in agreement. "Bato and Hama were looking for you earlier. You gave them quite the scare. We should probably go fix that."
The soldier looked guilty at the reminder and sighed heavily. "Yeah. We should." He stressed that last part with a crack of a smile before sliding easily over the ledge of the beam to take to the pillar. Sokka was in awe of just how easily he made it all seem as he climbed down to the ground level with the grace and speed of a howler monkey. Zuko stared back up at him expectantly with his hands on his hips as he adjusted his cloak and craned his neck. "You coming?"
"Yup." Sokka chimed and inspected the pillar at his back and tried to estimate how the fuck he was going to get back down. At least on the ship, he had rigging and ropes or handholds secured into the frame that created a ladder of sorts. This was not meant to be climbed like this and he was too big to be playing lemur.
At his lack of progress in any way, Zuko called up, smirking now in growing amusement. "Sokka, are you stuck?"
"Nope! Just preplanning my descent." He assured with a casual confidence. He shifted a little and felt his heart drop into his stomach when his foot started to search for purchase and only slipped away from what he thought might have been a sturdy hold. He only slid an inch down the beam but that inch felt like a foot in his mind as he grappled the beam and pillar in a panic.
"You sure?" Zuko called up.
"Uuhhhh…." Sokka grunted and tried to find a new route to descend but to no avail. "Fuck."
"You're stuck." It wasn't even a question now as Zuko grinned in satisfaction at the hopeless position he found himself in. Sokka figured he deserved that much at least.
"I am."
"Do you need a ladder?"
".....yes." Sokka admitted.
"I'll go tell Hakoda."
"No! No, don't tell my dad. Go ask Bato but don't tell my dad." Zuko snickered and headed for the door. Sokka settled with his back towards the pillar and waited patiently for his ferret to come rescue him.
Bato would be lying if he said he wasn't more than a bit frazzled as he checked all over the village for any sign of Li. He counted off all the places the soldier might be hiding out at, twice now for good measure, and came up empty handed. And startlingly enough, he didn't see Sokka anywhere either. He would have expected to cross paths with the younger man at least once as they ran about the winding paths like a couple of arctic hens with their heads lopped off.
He was heading back towards the stable when he spotted the familiar tiny form of the soldier lingering at the entrance looking far more alert than he anticipated. His cloak was tied firmly around his shoulders with his hood drawn up to protect his face from the wind allowing for very little of it to really be seen. His good golden eye turned on Bato with a brightness accompanied by relief.
"Li! I've been looking everywhere for you!" He spoke sternly, letting his worry leak into his voice just a touch. The soldier only looked mildly uncomfortable at the reminder before answering.
"Sorry about that, I was in the longhouse." Bato opened his mouth to counter that claim when he stalled suddenly to a stop at the following question. "Can I borrow a ladder? I need a really tall one."
"What?" Bato blurted, frowning at the strangeness of all this. "Why?"
The soldier's lips curled into a sly smile as he answered with a casual honesty that could have smacked the older man senseless in how baffling it was. "Sokka is stuck in the longhouse rafters."
"He- what?"
The soldier shrugged his shoulders. "He asked for a ladder and to not tell Chief Hakoda."
Bato couldn't quite believe what he was hearing but knowing Sokka was involved probably shouldn't surprise him at this point. So he agreed and helped Li find the ladder they used when doing repairs or decorating the longhouse for special festivities. Together they carried it from the stables towards the longhouse which had them taking the path that the healer's hut was on. Hakoda had stepped out just as they walked by and stared after them with his brow lifted in question.
"Do I want to know?" Hakoda asked.
Li avoided looking at the chief but the amused smile never left his expression. Katara had also stepped out seconds after as Bato gestured with his end of the ladder. "It apparently has to do with Sokka."
The tired resignation in his lover's voice dragged a chuckle from Bato's chest. "Of course it does." Hakoda massaged the bridge of his nose and asked. "What has he done now?"
"I don't really know." Bato answered and looked towards Li for elaboration.
The soldier just shrugged. "He told me not to tell Hakoda. I promised I wouldn't."
Hakoda made a strained noise in his throat that was a familiar cross between concerned and defeated acceptance. Bato could sympathize with his lover and patted him on the shoulder. "Well, there is nothing stopping you from tagging along to find out yourself."
"I'm coming as well!" Katara chipped in joyously. "What did the big dork do now?"
Sokka wasn't expecting the entire entourage of his family to follow Zuko back in through the doors. Katara, Hakoda and Bato were looking around at the tables with confusion as the soldier shot him an apologetic smile and explained. "In my defense, I only asked Bato like you said. The others invited themselves."
They snapped their heads up in his direction when he groaned loudly in defeat. His dad's jaw gaped before he blurted in alarm. "Sokka, what are you doing up there? How did you even get up there?"
"Funny story that." Sokka snorted. "Li was sleeping up here first and I came up to check on him." Hakoda didn't look like he quite believed him, and neither did Katara as she folded her arms over her chest. Bato was already maneuvering the ladder with Zuko to lay it across the beam for him to reach.
"You could have just shouted at me from down below." Zuko called back up at him as he helped adjust the ladder until it was still. Bato grounded it in place with his boots at the base so it wouldn't slide while Zuko stood underneath it from behind to help hold it down.
"I did." Sokka countered. "You were snoring."
The soldier at least had the mind to look embarrassed about it. Bato glanced between them with confusion as Katara shared her own puzzlement. "Who in their right mind chooses to sleep so high up?"
Their dad helpfully supplied as Sokka adjusted his stance and scooted over until he could grip the top portion of the ladder and swing his leg over to the upper rungs. "You should have seen him at the Earth Kingdom encampment. He slept in a tree. Had the whole camp in a panic thinking he escaped but he had figured out how to move his chains to climb higher."
Zuko hummed in agreement. "That was pretty funny honestly. Especially when a fight broke out with the Earth Kingdom soldiers."
Katara looked like she was having trouble picturing all of this which Sokka didn't blame her. Focusing intently on the ladder rungs, he started his slow shaky descent. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little shaken up by this whole thing. Climbing trees and flying on Appa was one thing. He didn't go that high into the trees and he had more than enough branches to break his fall or catch himself if he did slip. This was just ridiculous and admittedly very stupid on his part, but judging by the relaxed and mildly amused look on Zuko's face, it had been a success in the long run and he could count this as a satisfying victory in the end.
"Until the wolfbats showed up." Sokka added in. Zuko scrunched his nose at that as he grimaced.
"Yeah. It wasn't as fun anymore. All the Earth Kingdom soldiers figured out where I was and wanted to start throwing rocks at me to force me down."
"What?" Sokka jerked towards the soldier as his boots reached solid ground, eyes wide in disbelief. "When was this?"
Zuko stopped to think back on it for a moment before answering. "After you left with the dead wolfbat. It was the first time I met Chief Hakoda, because he intervened before any of them could start throwing anything."
His dad nodded, recalling the same memory as he folded his arms over his chest. "I saw them all clustered around the tree looking like a hive of angry buzzard wasps. I knew that couldn't be good. I'm glad I stepped in when I did."
"I appreciate it, sir." Zuko turned a fond expression towards Hakoda as he continued. "I never did properly thank you for that."
"Don't worry about it, Li." Hakoda smiled down at him with so much amusement and warmth in his eyes. It eased Sokka's worries, and filled his gut with that fluttery feeling that reminded him that Zuko fit so easily in their little tribe, and politics aside, Sokka could see the potential for a good future for his fiery little ferret with all of them.
Hama was quick to agree with the idea that Zuko should stay a few days at Kanna's. At least until Tekk's crew had left, and perhaps even after the baby season ended. Kanna had no issue with taking him in again, and so Sokka helped carry some of the prince's things back to his grandmother's home where he could settle back into his old room. Zuko will admit, it felt nice to have a semi-private space again that wasn't the open layout of the healer's hut where he was sleeping without any walls to hide behind or tuck up against. He slept far easier here than when he was with Hama, and he couldn't deny that the food tasted better too. Kanna at least used more spices and fats in her cooking than Hama did, imbuing it with much more flavor that Zuko had been desperately missing.
By the time he got settled in, they were both hungry with nothing to do and plenty of time to kill. Seizing a chance to occupy himself with busy work, Zuko stepped into the kitchen and rolled up the sleeves of his scout uniform, giving a cursory glance around until he found a handful of ingredients and a clean pan that was shallow enough for his intended use.
“What are you doing?” Sokka glanced back over his shoulder from where he was feeding the fire in the hearth and raised a curious brow.
“Making lunch.” The prince answered easily as he found one of Katara’s knives that she always used for dicing vegetables up on the board. He gave each vegetable a thorough wash in a bowl of cold water and let his fingers warm up by the fire for a few minutes before he turned to start chopping them up. Though Zuko didn’t fail to notice the hovering platypus bear of a tribesman by his elbow as he inspected the collection of ingredients. Zuko rolled his eyes and smiled as he explained. “I’m making a Fire Nation stir fry.”
“A stir fry?” Sokka squinted down at the ingredients. “Am I going to regret eating this?”
“Do you have so little faith in my cooking skills?” Zuko balked, shooting a dramatically offended look at Sokka. The tribesman smirked and shook his head.
“I don’t mean that it'll be bad. But knowing you and Fire Nation cooking habits, it’s going to be spicy, right?” Zuko opened his mouth to refute that but then sighed and nodded, setting the knife down as he turned to face Sokka full on and settled one hand on his hip. The tribesman stilled, frowning briefly with a flash of worry before Zuko reached his free hand up to cup the side of Sokka’s face in a gentle pat as he sighed sympathetically.
“Sokka, a little spice in your life won’t kill you. Just look at Hakoda. He survived his encounter just fine.” Then turned back to face the vegetables he was slicing into thin strips that’ll cook quickly in a pan. Sokka’s jaw gaped as he stared at the prince in stunned silence. Zuko only let the corner of his mouth curve the slightest touch into a smile as he focused on his task.
He wasn’t too familiar with the red meat he used, but Shin’s letters had informed him of how to cook each animal in a similar way to those they used back home in the Fire Nation, which was good enough for him. He cut it into little cubes and let it cook in the bottom of the hot pan with a healthy scoop of seal fat for additional flavor. He applied a small sprinkle of seasonings to help flavor the meat as it cooked until tender, then added the vegetables as they sizzled in the pan. In a small bowl, he prepared the rest of the sauce, measuring the amount of spice with the utmost care for Sokka’s fragile palette, then poured it in when it was ready and watched it come to its end. The tribesman was still hovering, but by the looks of it and the sounds of it, the mixture smelled pretty good to him when Zuko started to dish the contents out in a bowl for each of them.
A slice of bread balanced on the rim of each as he carried them to the table. Sokka gathered a drink for them both while Zuko added quite a bit more chili flakes to his own bowl until the sauce was a nice red hue that smelled heavenly. They settled into their seats as the warrior took his bowl with a curious sniff and poked the vegetables around.
Zuko smirked as he took a large mouthful and relished the heat on his tongue. He managed to swallow it down before it could burn his mouth too much, having forgotten to blow it cool enough beforehand. “This turned out a lot better than I expected.” He moaned as he stirred his fork around the bowl to dismiss the steam. Beside him, he could see Sokka finally dig into a bite and chew it slowly as he let the taste settle.
He coughed a little, shaking his head as his voice went hoarse. “That has a little bit of kick.” But it didn’t seem to stop him from taking another bite, followed by another, mumbling through them. “This is really good.”
“Told you.” Zuko hummed approvingly as he dug into his portion, using the bread to soak up some of the sauce so it didn’t escape him. They were halfway through their meals when Kanna and Katara walked in and shook the snow off their shoulders before they started to hang their cold gear up on the rack by the door. Kanna stopped and glanced around as Katara stared at them bewildered.
“What did you make?” Katara asked, sniffing the air with an odd look on her face. Kanna had drifted towards the kitchen to find the pan still half full with enough left for at least two more bowls.
“Li made lunch.” Sokka answered around a mouthful of vegetables. “It’s spicy.”
“I went light on the spices cause Sokka was whining about it.” Zuko corrected. Kanna nodded as she started to scoop a helping into a bowl for herself. Katara just stared at it a moment before steering over to Sokka’s bowl with a fork to steal a bite from her brother.
“Why are you taking from mine?” Sokka balked, but didn’t move to stop her.
“Because you’re such a polar weenie that I know yours will be the weakest bowl.” She punctuated that point by gesturing at Kanna as she reached for the extra spices in the small dish Zuko was using to add more kick to his own. He nudged it towards her so she could sprinkle more into her helping.
“That’s unfair!” Sokka blurted.
Katara took a bite and grimaced, covering her mouth with a cough as she shook her head. “Hot.”
Sokka grinned smugly at his sister. “Now who’s the polar weenie?” Katara shook her head, shooting him a stern glare as she backed away from the table.
“I’m good, thanks though Li.”
Sokka barked out a laugh. “Does that mean I get your helping?”
“Sure.” She moved hastily into the kitchen to find a drink to wash down the heat.
“Use bread.” Zuko offered helpfully. “Water won’t help, but bread does.” He watched her turn towards the bread on the counter and took a large chunk to nibble on. Sokka snickered as he got up to refill his bowl with Katara’s portion and took another piece of bread. Zuko shot a curious glance in Kanna’s direction as she calmly worked through her portion with satisfaction, offering him a silent nod of approval. The prince couldn’t help the bashful heat that crept up on his face at her compliment as he nodded back and poked his fork around his bowl trying to decide whether he wanted to finish out the experience with the last couple vegetables or the final chunk of meat as it stewed in the sauce. He decided on the vegetables first, then saved the meat for last, and finalized it with a few bites of bread soaked in the remaining sauce.
After lunch, Sokka cleaned the dishes while Zuko settled onto the couch feeling like an after-meal nap was in order. Typically he was busy studying at Hama’s at this time, or tending to whatever minor injuries were inflicted, but he hadn’t had such a fulfilling meal in a while and it was nice to be able to sit around a table with others again, instead of eating by himself.
He stretched out and hummed contentedly when Sokka plopped down onto the sofa beside him. He was still making little faces whenever he’d lick his lips and be reminded of the heat of the sauce still clinging to his mouth. Zuko snickered up at the warrior as he stretched his legs out and didn’t appear to mind it at all when the prince kicked his feet up across his lap, quietly testing the waters of where they stood again now. Sokka seemed to welcome the friendly contact as he tugged the throw blanket down over them both and stretched one arm out across the back of the sofa and groaned pleasantly when his shoulders gave with a resounding pop.
“That sounded like a good one.” Zuko commented before raising his arms above his head and twining them around so they were crossed at the wrists, fingers woven together with palms pressed firmly against one another before flexing his own shoulders and arching his back. The sound that followed caused Sokka to wince, his face scrunched in sympathy.
“I can’t tell if that sounded good or like it hurt, but it sure hurt me to hear it.” The warrior groaned as Zuko scoffed and stretched his legs causing both his knees and that stiff ankle to pop. Sokka jolted a little and shot him a worried look. “Are you just secretly falling apart or something?”
“It’s supposed to be a secret?” Zuko feigned surprise at that before smirking back at the warrior. After a moment, he groaned. “Uuuh, I feel ready for a nap.”
Sokka nodded and chuckled. “I’m not sure whether I want a nap or need to mentally brace myself for how my stomach is going to treat that spice later.”
“Gross!” Katara blurted from the kitchen where she and Kanna had started the preparations for supper later. Sokka made a face at his sister and leaned back against the sofa with a content sigh.
“You might want to brace yourself.” Zuko offered in a low hoarse whisper. “Just in case.” The warrior snorted in amusement, the sound erupted into a bark of laughter when they heard Katara’s groan from the kitchen. Zuko let an airy laugh slip from his throat as he smiled at the easy flow of conversation that surrounded him again.
Agni, he missed this so badly it hurt. He missed feeling Sokka so close at his side and the easy banter of a family that loves each other without holding back. They didn’t have to watch their words or offer quiet sentiments with thin lipped smiles or wait until they were behind closed doors to show their affection or worry for one another. He missed being in a warm house surrounded by the smells of food and life actively happening around him, and not the sterile scent or herbal aroma of a medical room. As much as he enjoyed the work for Hama, living in the healer’s hut only reminded him more of those early years of his life when he spent more time in a hospital bed than his own. He didn’t sleep as well, and he felt like he was in a constant state of exhaustion, and even when he was at Bato’s, both men danced around their words or watched their conversations when he was present. He may have not been a hundred percent there but he could still hear them, and he recognized the guarded way they curated their topics to avoid anything sensitive. He felt like an intruder in their space even though he had nowhere else to go at the time.
But here, with Sokka by his side, he felt normal again. He felt like he clicked in the chemistry of what they used to have at its foundations. Even if it was only from their early weeks on the ship, it was something Zuko could fall back to and still find comfort in. There was never a point where their relationship had really been closed off or guarded. Zuko had tried to keep Sokka at a distance, but right from the start, he was an open book and a warm smile. He was physically affectionate and caring in a way that Zuko had come to realize was just a very Water Tribe way all around, and not a uniquely Sokka way of greeting a stranger. Zuko had been welcomed into that little fold of Sokka’s culture right off the bat without a second thought from the warrior’s end of things. He was cautious but still fond of Zuko, even when he acted out or tried to flee.
The selfish noisy part of him was so grateful for that, because of moments like these when the comfort meant so much to him but he still was wary about broaching any further until he knew where the lines lay in the sand. He needed a better view of the boxes they built around themselves to even consider if he was a part of Sokka’s still. It was hard to figure out based entirely on behavior because Sokka, despite being as expressive as a polar pup and as easy to read as a theater scroll, was a hard man to really make sense of in how he thought and viewed things. It baffled Zuko each time he thought he had the warrior figured out and he would do something even more surprising. The prince was just relieved to know he wasn’t the only one continuously bewildered and stunned by Sokka’s behavior given the reactions of his fellow tribesmen of late.
He just prayed that there was a possibility for healing from his past actions, so that they both could move forward with this. Zuko would understand if he wasn’t permitted that chance after everything he’s done, and in doing so, he will simply cherish Sokka’s friendship as it is now, but he still hoped he hadn’t mucked it all up.
“Did you bring that theater scroll I read to you before when you were sick?” Sokka’s voice interrupted his train of thought, dragging Zuko right out of his own concentrated worrying to find Sokka watching him thoughtfully.
“Uh….yes?” He raised a brow at the warrior in question, hoping for an elaboration on why he brought it up.
Sokka smirked as he stretched, trying to look casual as he spoke his thoughts aloud. “Well, considering we only got halfway through it, I’ve been thinking about how the story ends and thought now is as good a time as ever.”
Zuko’s jaw dropped a little in surprise before he squinted suspiciously at the warrior. “Are you asking permission to read me a story?”
Sokka gave a sheepish awkward smile as he cleared his throat. “Well when you say it like that….yes?”
Zuko hummed, tilting his head as he mimicked the way Uncle Iroh always stroked his beard in careful consideration before broaching a tenuous topic or offering more unsolicited advice over tea. Sokka’s cheeks flushed a soft pink as he shrank back, a little uncertain on the sofa, waiting for his answer. Zuko sighed, then smirked at him. “Only if you promise to do the voices.”
The way he lit up at that confirmation was enough to send Zuko’s heart doing somersaults in his chest with the warrior’s broad grin. “Yeesss.”
“You’re such a dork.” Katara prompted from the kitchen, shaking her head as she started to work the bread dough.
Sokka’s enthusiasm could not be crushed by the needling of little sisters and promptly nudged Zuko’s legs off his lap and held his hands out to drag the prince up to his feet so they could find the scroll. Surprisingly enough, with Katara’s additional prodding, they ended up at the dining room table, taking turns back and forth reading the whole scroll from the beginning so both Katara and Kanna could listen in. Zuko did the narration while Sokka made his best impression of the most dramatic voices he could from the female love interest to the smooth talking thief and the evil monologuing villain that threatened their relationship. It wasn’t exactly like old times, but he considered that maybe, this new chapter in their relationship wasn’t so bad either.
Notes:
Alright so, with that, I decided I'm going to take a break from updating Chained for a while with the holidays coming up and my life is about to get really busy and hectic. I won't stop writing Chained, but I just won't be posting it for a little while. So until then, Merry Christmas, Happy holidays, Happy New Years, stay safe everybody and know that I love and appreciate each and everyone of you!
Also, for those of you who have been keeping up with it, I will keep posting Scales of Truth, which is my Dragon Zuko crackfic because I have quite a few chapters already written that I'm just sitting on. so if you haven't checked it out yet, please do. For those of you who have been reading it, thank you so much for your support and rest assured, that will still update. It might slow down in updates as I get busier, but it'll still be updated during the holidays.
Chapter 38
Summary:
Shin wakes up
The meeting of the chiefs' happens.
Sokka and Zuko explore their new dynamic.
Notes:
Sorry for the late post. The updates from now on will be much slower as I am recovering from having covid for the last 2 weeks. I'm doing good but I'm still really out of it and trying to focus on a story takes a lot of energy and concentration. I really hope this chapter didn't suffer for it, but my mind is running a mile a minute and I've been dying to get back to writing and working on Chained again.
I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, happy new year and lets hope for a better year altogether. Thank you all for your support of this fic so far. It's meant the world to me. ^.^
Chapter Text
The first thing Shin noticed when he woke up was just how much his whole body hurt. Every breath of his lungs pulled at pain in his abdomen. His back was as stiff as a board and his head throbbed, building a sharp pain behind his eyes that spread across his skull. His left wrist ached, feeling tender and sore when he tried to move his hands and found they were secured firmly in place by something soft tied around his arms. A cold dread seized his lungs with a painful gasp that dragged a jagged cough from his chest. He sucked in a breath, feeling just how dry his mouth was as each gasp of air scraped at his throat. Lifting his head in hopes of catching his breath only pulled pain down his neck.
"Shin?" Tekkeitsertok's voice was at his side as his eyes watered through painful blinks to adjust to the sharp pinpricks of lantern light by his bedside. A comforting reminder of Agni's watchful gaze that quickly spurred those bitter memories of his sins in that lonely hut.
"Here, drink this." Tekk's hand cupped the back of his head to support him a little better as he finally caught his breath. Something warm but smelled absolutely terrible was pressed to his lips. Grimacing, he sipped at the foul tea like mixture until it filled his painfully empty stomach. His relief came after with a few sips of water to somewhat wash the taste away before Tekk let his head flop back against the pillow.
The effort it took just for that little bit of movement was concerning, but Shin was more puzzled on why exactly he was even still alive to be here struggling through basic motions. He remembered attacking Li from behind, he recalled the fight after when Li got wise to his intentions. He remembered the searing pain as his own blade was driven into his abdomen. He recalled brief flashes too, of Li's pale face illuminated by Agni's golden light as he leaned over Shin with tears in his eyes. Tears that Shin had first thought he had imagined until one fell and traced a hot wet path down his own cheek.
This was the true face of his nightmares. A young terrified soldier that tried to save his life. Judging by the fact he was still breathing, he had succeeded even. Li owed him nothing. He was within his right to defend to kill, but he didn't and Shin didn't know how to wrap his head around that.
"Shin?" Tekk sounded so terribly tired and brittle, like the years had just crumbled in around him now. The trapper made a quiet raspy grunt of acknowledgement and slowly lifted his eyes to find the old bear's face in low light by his side. His white hair was unkempt and falling from its braids, his gray eyes were so terribly tired, weighed down by dark circles that only deepened his distress. There was so much fear and sorrow tangled up in his expression that it physically pained Shin to see it. The shame he felt was too much as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm the squirming of his guts. "How are you feeling, son?"
That fondness was still there and Shin felt shattered and raw for it. Tekkeitsertok's hand rested gently on his shoulder to comfort him like he often always did just before he broke completely. His eyes burned as the tears raced down his face. He made no move to hide them. Tekk has seen him in worse states, but this time it felt like a hot blade sticking out of his chest because he had betrayed the very same man who had given him a second chance at life. A man who welcomed him into his home, into his tribe and proudly declared him as his son-to-be.
He didn't quiet the sob that broke in his throat, and Tekk didn't leave his side as he held onto Shin's arm comfortingly. It felt undeserved but Shin was grateful for that small mercy nonetheless as he clung to that presence and let his grief consume him until he had nothing left to give.
Warm fingers smoothed the hair away from his face, carding it out of his eyes as a soft cloth dabbed his tears away, Shin could only lie there and accept it as Tekk continued to care when he had every right not to. He was under no delusion that Tekk couldn’t possibly know what had happened in that hut, or what Shin had done. There was no chance in the world that the old bear didn’t already know all of his grievances like filthy secrets tucked into dark corners. It didn’t soothe the pain he felt or ease the burden that weighed him down so much, because now he only had questions and so much confusion.
“Why?” Shin managed to rasp out after a few false starts to find his breath and his words. It sounded so foreign to his own ears despite being in his native tongue. Everything sounded so far away, like it was being spoken behind a wall of snow, coming off muffled and disembodied. His head was already spinning with anticipation alone.
“Shin.” Tekk started, sounding even more tired as he gently admonished him. “You need to rest. We can talk later.”
He shook his head in refusal. “I need…to know.” Shin pressed out between his teeth, sounded winded just from the effort. Perhap Tekk was right but he was also very stubborn and he couldn’t rest until he understood. He needed to know what his life would be from this point on. What has he lost? What sacrifices did he unknowingly make? What regrets will he be forced to face from this point on? He needed to know, so he could grieve it all.
Tekk deflated in his seat as he hung his head and smoothed his hand along Shin’s arm up to his shoulder, fidgeting with the blanket to arrange it neatly across the trapper’s chest. He was considering his words carefully now, brows pinched in concentration for a long stretch of silence that made him wonder if he just might wear out and slip back into sleep before the old bear finally decided on what to say. Perhaps that was his plan in the end. A test of endurance which Shin didn’t currently have.
A wave of dizziness was beginning to creep up on him when Tekk’s voice finally broke through his spinning thoughts. “Li pleaded for amnesty for you. He saved your life, he begged for mercy for your sake and stood before the council of Elders and pleaded for their mercy towards you.”
“Why?” It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. Li was the Blue Spirit and Shin had tried to kill him. This didn’t make sense. His head was already beginning to spin and throb the more he tried to puzzle all of this out. He grimaced and shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
“He feels responsible for you.” Tekk answered gently as he reached up to run his palm along Shin’s forehead and smoothed back his hair. The sensation was enough to help ease the dizziness a bit, with the warm skin flushed against his face. He closed his eyes and swallowed against his scratchy throat. “You need to rest, Shin. You lost a lot of blood and your body is still recovering.”
“I should be dead.” Shin sighed, shaking his head slowly. “I don’t….get why.”
“Only Li can answer that for you, I’m afraid.” Tekk answered apologetically. “Please rest, son.”
Shin let his head sink back into the pillow as he relented, feeling wrung out and dizzy again. Just speaking that little bit left him feeling drained. He closed his eyes and listened to the sounds of idle movement around the healing hut, with the faint herbal aroma of medicines being prepared and Hama’s shuffling motions. Tekk’s presence was a constant at his side as the old bear kept one hand on his arm and remained a determined guardian beside him. Sleep did begin to pull at his thoughts as whatever medicine he’d drank earlier started to set in, leaving him feeling tingly and warm all over. The pain in his limbs faded out into pinpricks of numbness before he felt floaty and his mind drifted aimlessly towards sleep.
"Li! You get back here with that!" Sokka shouted as his boots slammed the snowy terrain of the shoveled paths. Before him, the cloaked figure of his fire ferret raced off like a blur that shot around the corner and leapt over fences, leading past Gran Gran's house and towards the shoreline. The sneaky little ferret swiped the package of seal jerky that Bato had made using some of the moonpeaches that Aang had brought over from the temple. It was an incredibly rare treat given that Bato only makes a very small batch of it each year. Apparently it entices hungry ferrets just as much as it entices Sokka, because the soldier pounced on it on the spot and ran off.
Their race took them along the worn path, past several tribesmen from Kanut and Tuktu's crews and veered away from the ships and towards the rocky stretch of beach that the otter penguins frequent. Sokka's lungs were certainly feeling the cold bite of winter by the time he spotted Zuko diving into the colony and vanishing. He gasped and panted, struggling to catch his breath as he came to a stop just outside of the cluster of squawking penguins.
"Li get your ferret ass out of there!" Sokka demanded. "And give me back my jerky."
He was met with noisy squawks and honking from the penguins as they waddled around and huddled up, closing their ranks to hide the soldier amongst them. "Traitorous penguins." Sokka grunted as he reached out to push them away. Blue eyes scanned the terrain closely trying to find the bursts of reds of Zuko's uniform amidst all the black and white of the penguins.
“Li!” The warrior called but was only met with the noise of the birds. Beaks snapped in his direction as penguins protested his advance into the colony. “Move now. Go on! Shoo!” Sokka batted away the flapping wings that swatted him back for his efforts. As he shoved his way further into the cluster, a burst of red shot up by his side as the soldier popped up so he was face to face with Sokka, golden eye blazing with mischief. The warrior was startled enough to yelp in surprise before he realized that the soldier had leaned up and slammed their lips together in a quick sloppy kiss then dove back into the cluster of energetic penguins with the snap of his cloak behind him.
Sokka’s jaw gaped as he stared after the now occupied spot before him that had an irate penguin squawking up at him. He opened his mouth to speak, then clicked it closed and blinked a few times. His efforts to shove the penguins away were entirely forgotten for several minutes before he finally snapped out of it when he spotted another flash of red sneaking behind him. Sokka whirled around and spotted the crouching figure of the soldier slyly making his escape for the edge of the colony. Sokka reached out to snag his cloak and jerked Zuko back towards him, causing the man to release his own yelp of alarm. He twisted around to face Sokka as he was dragged up to his feet and smirked at him with a piece of seal jerky sticking out of his mouth where he bit one end to hold it in his teeth.
“Hi.” Zuko grinned around the piece of jerky and cocked his chin in a silent taunt of triumph. Sokka leaned in, keeping his firm hold on Zuko’s cloak so his ferret couldn’t squirm away as he bit the other end of the jerky and pressed closer until their lips met. The soldier’s face turned bright red as he leaned into Sokka’s hold until they were flush against each other. The taste of sweet peaches mingling on their tongues as they pressed into each other, little puffs of steam rising between them when they finally came up for air. Sokka’s blue eyes bore into Zuko’s burning gold as he smirked.
“I caught you.” Leaning forward, he scooped the soldier up into his arms and hiked him up off the ground. Zuko made a startled sound in his throat as he chewed on the bite of jerky from his end and stared up at the warrior with awe and bewilderment. His face was a deeper red than his uniform as Sokka proceeded to march them out of the penguin colony and back towards the village, all the while enjoying his piece of retrieved jerky. Zuko looped his arms around Sokka’s shoulders as he buried his face into the tribesman’s collar and groaned dramatically, dragging a deep chuckle from Sokka’s chest at his ferret’s embarrassment.
Sokka wasn’t entirely sure how to take this whole change in their dynamic but if kissing was now a part of the scenario, he could certainly get behind that. As far as he was concerned, he was simply following Zuko’s lead in this strange little dance they’ve been doing these last few days. It would appear that the near death experience had made his little fire ferret much more bold than his previous endeavors and Sokka didn’t mind that one bit. He liked this more adventurous carefree side to his ferret.
Making his way up the slippery slope, Sokka wasn’t paying all that much attention to his footing when he slipped and stumbled back, landing on his rear with the soldier sitting directly in his lap where he had been cradling him. Zuko barked out a laugh at the warrior that broke into a snort that shook his shoulders from the force alone. Sokka started cracking up in return as he leaned back on the snowy ground and gave into a round of raucous laughter that had both their lungs aching in the cold air.
Zuko set his head against Sokka’s chest as he dragged in a wheezing breath and tried to calm himself as his cold fingers splayed across the warrior’s chest. “I missed this.” He hummed softly against Sokka’s neck.
The tribesman nodded sympathetically because he understood that feeling. He ached and yearned for so much these last few weeks, and now it all felt like a breath of fresh air in his lungs as the pain subsided. “Me too.”
Zuko lifted his gaze to meet Sokka’s as his voice quieted to barely above a whisper. He looked worried now as he toyed with the words in his mouth and fretted before forcing them out with a hope that they weren’t the wrong thing being said. “I want….more of this.” He stated, his hands smoothing along Sokka’s chest as he elaborated. “Of us. Even if-” He sucked in a deep breath and held it, brows pinched in conflict.
“Even if our positions won’t let us stay like this. I still want to try.”
Sokka reached up to catch one of Zuko’s hands and wove their fingers together. He shivered, feeling just how cold the soldier was being so underdressed as he was in this weather. He smoothed his fingers along the back of Zuko’s hand and noted the bright red of his skin against the cold snow and wondered absently where his mittens were as he considered the weight of those words.
“You’ll always be my fiery little ferret, you know that.” Sokka purred as his other arm tucked Zuko firmly against his chest. “I’ll fight the world to keep you by my side.”
“Big words.” Zuko chuckled as he leaned into Sokka’s chest and sighed. “I’ll take them.”
“Words are all I have for now but when the time comes, I’ll prove it with action.” He spoke with conviction, letting the depth of that promise sink in between them. Zuko sucked in a short breath and smiled up at him approvingly.
“You almost sounded like an epic hero in a play.”
“I know, right?” Sokka snorted. “Your theater scrolls might be rubbing off on me.”
“I do have good taste.” Zuko preened.
“Hmm, this seems to be true. But you’re a very poor decision maker.” The warrior corrected. “Where are your mittens? Why aren’t you wearing your parka? It’s freezing out.”
Zuko groaned and shook his head, shoving off of the warrior’s chest to get up. “Back at Kanna’s. I didn’t think I’d need them for a short trip to Bato’s.”
“And now look at ya.” Sokka gestured at the soldier as they both picked themselves up off the ground and dusted the snow off themselves. Sokka’s hind end was feeling particularly frosty and stiff from sitting on the ground. Zuko looked to be just holding off his shivering out of sheer spite and nothing else. “Come on, let’s head home before you freeze to death again.”
“That only happened once.” Zuko balked as he folded his arms over his chest.
“As I heard it, you nearly froze to death with Humpy too.” Sokka corrected, earning a pout from the soldier as he wrapped a firm arm around his shoulders and started to steer them back up the path towards Gran Gran’s home. The village was busy this morning as the tribes wandered about and lingered in the longhouse to mingle and reacquaint themselves with each other. It wasn’t often that all the tribes got together like this, and rarely was it ever for good news. They still had a meeting of the Chiefs to go about which was on hold until later in the evening so Hakoda and Tekkeitsertok could get a few issues situated. From what Sokka had heard, Shin finally woke up which meant he had a better chance of surviving this ordeal now. Sokka was certain this was only just the beginning for Tekk’s troubles.
Peeking down at the soldier, Sokka slipped a hand under Zuko’s cloak and swiped back the leather pouch of jerky from his belt and tucked it inside his own parka where the smaller man couldn’t reach it. Zuko whirled on him with a look of shock and swatted Sokka on the shoulder. “No fair!”
“All is fair in love and war, my little ferret.” Sokka leaned down and pressed a kiss to his scarred cheek, watching with a growing grin as Zuko’s face turned bright pink and it wasn’t from the wind flush. He grumbled to himself and averted his gaze back to the snowy path and hunkered his shoulders, looking as bashful as a young boy as Sokka snickered and tugged his hood over his head to cover his ears from the cold.
The meeting of Chiefs was a collection of the Chiefs and their crews all gathered into the longhouse. Each tribe was seated together with their Chief among them. Hakoda was at the head of the table with Sokka by his side and Bato on the other side of him. Sokka had Zuko seated at his side, which was a rare opportunity provided given his political presence in the room. He was wrapped up in his cloak and hunkered down at the warrior’s side with a tankard of warm cider clutched in his palms that he sipped quietly at.
Tuktu and Kanut were seated opposite each other, with Tekkeitsertok seated directly across from Hakoda. The tables had all been arranged around the central fire that burned bright to warm them in the late evening. As the men settled with their full tankards and sedated from an earlier meal that left them all content to sit still and listen. Hakoda held his hands up to signal their attention and the beginning of the meeting.
They spoke in their native tongue, as he opened the meeting by extending his appreciation for their patience these last few days.
“I know it is not easy being away from your homes for so long during this time of year, and I am grateful for your consideration and understanding as we face troubled times.” His dad explained. The other chiefs bowed their heads in acknowledgement.
"As you are all aware, the South is about to face its greatest hardship in a very long time. The Earth Kingdom has withdrawn from the trade agreement." Hakoda elaborated. "I have requested you all here to discuss whether or not it's worth fighting for."
Tuktu spoke up in the brief pause. "What sort of deal would we have to negotiate to get it back?"
"I'm not sure." Hakoda answered. "It would be an agreement of more war and that's all I can say. I don't know about you, Chief Tuktu, but my men are tired of fighting." The exhaustion wore heavy in his father’s voice, extending the weight of those words.
Tekk nodded his head in similar agreement. "As are mine. They have families that need them home."
The other two chiefs nodded their agreement as well. Kanut interjected. "Why are we even staying with the Earth Kingdom? What have they done for us?"
Tuktu grunted. "We got a trade agreement out of it, but for what? They've defiled our reputations. They lied to us about who we were fighting.” He turned towards Tekk with a question springing to his lips, rising with a thinly veiled anger. “Tekkeitsertok, the first time your men went to battle, did the Generals tell you that you were fighting women?"
Tekk shook his head, a grim expression set stonily on his face. "No, they did not. We found out on accident when a helmet came off in a skirmish."
Sokka recalled the first time he heard about that. It went against everything they believed in, to kill a woman, even on a battlefield. A lot of the warriors were upset by that news. Women were to be protected not thrown into war. What kind of country sends their women to war? Are they so desperate for soldiers? And the Earth Kingdom had no problem with it. They didn't care. In fact, they made it a game to capture female prisoners whenever they could because Fire Nation women were scrappy and made a good challenge. It sickened and infuriated Sokka to hear those words in the camps.
"Exactly!" Tuktu blurted, pointing a finger in the air to prove his point, as he turned dark blue eyes around the room to address the collective "They ignore our values and disregard our beliefs to fit their own means."
"They also ignored the rules of a warprize." Sokka interjected coldly. The men turned their attention towards him, eager to listen. "The moment my back was turned, Earth Kingdom soldiers were discussing ways to hurt my warprize to make him do what they wanted. They have no respect for our ways, and don't even care for our authority. They slander our names."
Kanut looked angry for Sokka at that news, as did Tekkeitsertok. His fists were wound tight around his tankard. Zuko's voice rose quietly by Sokka's side as he offered.
"I know I'm not a part of the tribes but if I might add?" He looked around for approval to continue. Both Sokka and Hakoda gave it with a nod. "When I was first taken prisoner, I'd heard a lot of rumors about what happens to Fire Nation soldiers in Water Tribe custody. Much of it was about the North. The first rumors I heard about the South came from Earth Kingdom soldiers in that camp as they openly speculated the reasons why I'd been chosen as a warprize."
Zuko paused as he shifted his tankard in his grasp and considered his next words. "I'm ashamed to say I believed them at first as they talked about rape and slavery. That Sokka only took me to warm his bed and keep him company. I was terrified because I thought it was true."
"That's why you were so freaked out on the beach before." Sokka recalled quietly. Zuko nodded.
"I know that is not how the Water Tribe does things, but the Earth Kingdom has spoken so poorly of you so much, that as Fire Nation citizens, all we know of your people is from your allies." Zuko shook his head. "And it's not good."
"Is this really worth the trade agreement?" Kanut spat angrily. "We get spare change to die for their war. It's not our war. This is between them and the Fire Nation!"
"Our hands are tied. We have nothing to leverage to push back and demand more. The Earth Kingdom knows this." Hakoda explained. "We either fight on their terms or we suffer the coming winters less prepared."
"What about the Fire Nation?" Tekkeitsertok inquired.
Kanut and Tuktu both stared at him with wide disbelieving eyes as they blurted simultaneously. "Why would the Fire Nation help us?" It never ceased to amaze Sokka just how much those two men were alike, even during moments like these.
"Firelord Azulon isn't going to last the winter which means Prince Iroh will take the Dragon Throne." Tekkeitsertok began to explain his reasoning. "If Prince Iroh takes the throne, then we have a friendly ear to listen to us."
"Tekk, my old friend, what makes you think Prince Iroh would care about us?" Tuktu pleaded an explanation. Tekkeitsertok shot a look towards Zuko, his gray eyes searching his with a quiet request. Sokka glanced down at his ferret and noticed him anxiously fidgeting with his tankard before he finally nodded.
"Because I'm his nephew." Zuko announced. The room went dead silent. "I'm Prince Zuko."
"What?" Kanut blurted, rising to his feet in sudden alarm. There was a stir of murmurs and chatter amongst the crews before the room quickly quieted down again. "You're the Prince that was supposedly killed?" Kanut leaned over the table, palms spread flat against the wood as he stared at the soldier with wide eyes.
"I am." Zuko agreed. "I wasn't killed. I was undercover as a scout. Nobody knew, not even my closest men."
"How?" Tuktu asked.
"He gets bored." Bato answered frankly.
Hakoda sighed tiredly between them.
Sokka snickered. "To be fair, we spent weeks thinking he was secretly a Fire Nation assassin that we interrupted."
"Seriously?" Zuko blanched, his voice taking a slightly higher pitch in his surprise.
"Yeah. We had the list and most of it seemed fitting at the time."
"Huh." Zuko grunted, then shrugged. "I guess."
"Prince Zuko." Tuktu inquired, extending a polite and respectful tone in his direction now.
"Please, you can just stick with calling me Li." The soldier corrected, to everyone's puzzlement not already immediately acquainted with Zuko's weirdness.
"Li, would your Uncle be willing to listen to our request if we reached out to him?" Tuktu asked. "Even if we are Water Tribe."
"Oh, he loves the Water Tribes." Zuko agreed enthusiastically. "He still plays pai sho through the mail with Elder Pakku of the Northern Tribes. They're old friends that go way back. He'll be willing to listen."
Kanut added. "What could the Fire Nation trade with us?"
"Glass, ore, fabrics, spices, regional produce that grows only on volcanic soil. The volcanic soil itself is rich in nutrients and is great for farming. A lot of our scientific advancements are on par with Ba Sing Se's." Zuko shrugged. "There is a lot that the Fire Nation could provide, and if my Uncle manages to end the war and negotiate land with the Earth Kingdom, then we could provide even more."
The other chiefs looked around in consideration. Hakoda offered the question that had yet to be asked. "What might he request of us in return?"
Zuko considered this for a few minutes then shrugged in answer. "I don't really know. He might just request that you stay out of the war indefinitely. The Fire Nation has its own navy so they wouldn't need you to fight by their side, and we have our own infantry units that do the same that you do on land. There isn't anything he could gain aside from keeping you out of the war."
"A pact of neutrality." Hakoda hummed. Zuko nodded as he took a sip of his tankard. "I like the sound of that."
The other Chiefs all shared the same approving glances.
“I assume this means we’re breaking away from the Earth Kingdom then?” Tekkeitsertok spoke up. The collective nods came as the chiefs shared their agreement.
His dad added after a moment. “Of course, we’ll have to wait until after Prince Iroh takes the throne before making any formal decisions on the matter. But as far as I can see it, our alliance with the Earth Kingdom has clearly come to an end. Is everyone in agreement?”
Tuktu raised his tankard in show. “You have my approval.”
Kanut lifted his after. “And mine.”
Tekkeitsertok’s followed as he nodded. “Mine as well.”
The rest of the room lifted their tankards in a cheer of approval that echoed off the walls in a roar. Sokka felt relieved by the news and judging by the way Zuko relaxed at his side, he shared a similar feeling on the matter. The warrior leaned down so his lips were pressed against the curve of the soldier’s ear as he spoke lowly. “It looks like I won’t have to share you with anyone after this.”
He caught the way the soldier chewed on his bottom lip to hide the twitch of a smile as he turned a golden eye up at Sokka and murmured back. “We’ll see. My Uncle needs to make the next move first. Then we can celebrate.”
“I like the sound of that.” Sokka hummed.
As the meeting wrapped up, many of the men hung around to chat and drink and enjoy the warmth of the longhouse away from the cold shores and the ships. While Sokka was stretching his legs, he spied Zuko rising from his seat to approach Tekkeitsertok. Curiosity tugged him closer to linger and eavesdrop a little on the topic of conversation under the guise of aimlessly meandering while sipping at his half full tankard.
“Chief Tekkeitsertok sir?” Zuko’s voice was almost too quiet in the din of the room but Sokka could pick it out if he strained his ears. The notes of Fire Nation amidst all the Water Tribe conversations flitting around the room.
“Yes Li? What can I do for you?”
“I was wondering how Shin was doing? I heard he woke up this morning.” Zuko sounded so uncertain like he felt unworthy of the right to just ask these simple questions. He fidgeted where he stood, pulling at the edges of his cloak with a nervousness that was more fitting of the old Li, and not the Fire Nation prince they had discovered him to be. It only reminded Sokka of the fact that Zuko spent a long time not really being a prince or even a person, and he always seemed so small and fragile in this great big world.
Tekkeitsertok’s expression was a conflicted mask of so many emotions stewing like a storm that crinkled his eyes and made him look far older than he was. He was weathered and worn out from age and the relentless struggles of life. He reached out to take both of Zuko’s hands into his and folded them within his palms as he smiled sadly at the soldier.
“He is grieving, my friend, but he is alive. I cannot express the depths of my gratitude for that very fact. Thank you, Li. Thank you for giving Shin that second chance.”
Zuko’s shoulders folded in on themselves as he hunched up and hung his head. Tekkeitsertok didn’t let go of the soldier, and from where Sokka was standing, he realized that the elder chief may be the only thing keeping the soldier on his feet in this moment.
“Would it be alright if I speak with him? I would like to apologize for everything.” Zuko’s voice was thick with emotion as he dragged the words out of his throat.
There was a tired sigh from the older man as he started, apologetically. “I’ll send your request along but it’ll be Shin’s decision in the end.”
“I understand.” The soldier nodded solemnly. “Thank you sir.”
“Of course.” He gave Zuko’s shoulders a firm pat with both hands, before his gaze slid towards Sokka. Their eyes connected for a few seconds as he nodded towards the warrior. Sokka straightened up and approached his fire ferret, sliding a hand experimentally along Zuko’s back to let him know he was there. The soldier straightened up and let out a shaky breath, leaning into Sokka’s side and welcoming the distraction he offered. Sokka wrapped a steadying arm around his shoulders and steered Zuko away from Tekk’s table and back towards the corner where a pai sho game was going on between Tuktu and Kanut. The distraction seemed to be the correct call to make as Zuko threw himself into policing the game and teaching the two chiefs how to properly play. They were both amused by the reffing being done by the prince, but welcomed the interruption as Zuko applied the strategy of the white lotus tile and demonstrated a swift victory.
This led to Tuktu’s demand of facing Zuko one on one, which led to another swift victory on the soldier’s part as he faced an opponent that clearly was a beginner at the game. Kanut was hanging over Tuktu’s shoulders laughing at the man as he made bad play after bad play. Tuktu shoved him off with a hiss.
“Make yourself useful and get me a drink.”
Kanut cackled and wandered off to get the aforementioned drink for the opposing chief and returned with two as he plopped down by his side. Eventually they switched places after Tuktu lost another match. Kanut practically shoved the man out of his seat and flopped down, cracking his knuckles in preparation. Zuko was sharp eyed as he took on the slightly more knowledgeable opponent but Kanut was nowhere near Zuko’s skill level.
“I hope you’re all aware that my Uncle is a pai sho shark and he’s been teaching me how to play since I could walk.” He informed them frankly.
“I thought you didn’t like pai sho.” Sokka chuckled.
“I don’t really.” Zuko amended. "Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to play it. Uncle Iroh would play a game with me every time he came home. We would have tea together and play every day he was home, even while I was in my sickbed.”
“You were a sickly child?” Tuktu asked gently. Zuko nodded as he moved a jasmine tile across the board.
“Yeah. They didn’t expect me to survive at all.”
Kanut grunted. “That’s rough, kid.”
“That’s life.” Zuko grunted back. “No point dwelling on it.”
“That’s a fair decision.” Kanut added. “I hear you’re one hell of a warrior now.”
“Oh yeah.” Sokka chimed. “Li could kick just about everyone’s ass in this room. With and without his broadswords.”
Tuktu whistled impressively. “Broadswords? Oh, this I gotta see. Mind giving a demonstration?”
“Tonight?” Zuko blurted incredulously.
“No, tomorrow.” Kanut corrected. “I’d love to see it. I’m sure my men would too.”
Zuko glanced at Sokka, searching his expression for some form of approval. Sokka shrugged. “I don’t see why not. You’re not challenging anyone to another Agni Kai.”
“A what?” Tuktu blurted.
“Agni Kai.” Zuko elaborated. “It’s a Fire Nation duel of honor under Agni’s gaze.”
“You challenged someone to that here?” Tuktu asked.
“Yup and he kicked my ass in it.” Sokka answered humorously. “I got the scars to prove it.” He started pulling his shirt up to expose all the pink slashes that criss crossed his torso. Once he had it completely off, he flexed his shoulders to give attention to the one across his collarbone. “See.”
“Tui and La.” Kanut gasped.
Sokka snickered. “And this was him playing nice with me.”
Zuko groaned. “It wasn’t a duel to the death, Sokka. Of course I was pulling my swings.”
“That’s you pulling your swings?” Tuktu snorted. “Now I’m really excited to see a demonstration tomorrow.”
“Why is Sokka undressing?” Hakoda’s voice rose as he, Bato and Tekkeitsertok approached the little corner where they were playing pai sho. Zuko was the only one giving the game any serious attention as Tuktu and Kanut were caught between chatting with Sokka and admiring Zuko’s handiwork.
“Just showing off my battle scars from fighting a feral fire ferret.” He flexed his shoulders and made his pec jump a little with a grin.
“We’re trying to convince Li to give us a demonstration with his broadswords tomorrow.” Kanut answered.
“I don’t see why not as long as you don’t challenge anyone to another Agni Kai.” Hakoda hummed in approval. Zuko straightened up in his seat as he groaned.
“I did that once!”
“I heard a lot about it.” Tekkeitsertok chuckled. “Poor Hakoda nearly had a heart attack.”
“Every day with Sokka, is another day I grow closer to one, Tekk.” Hakoda corrected. Sokka balked.
“Hey! I’m not that bad.” But his protests fell on deaf ears as his dad patted him on the shoulder good naturedly.
“Put your shirt back on son.”
“Hmmm no. It’s Li’s moral support.”
Zuko sputtered and glared at the warrior as he barked out a laugh. “I will smother you in your sleep, don’t tempt me.” Sokka snorted and started to pull his tunic and parka back on to cover up and shed away the slight nip that started to cling to his bare skin. The room was just a touch chilly still despite all the warm bodies and the crackling fire.
“So touchy.” Sokka chuckled. “What time are we doing this demonstration then?”
“Noon sound good?” Kanut asked, glancing around the room.
Tuktu leaned against the chief’s shoulder and hummed. “Noon works for me. Tekk, you coming?”
“Sure. Li did promise to show me a thing or two the last time I was here.”
“Great. I think the men would enjoy the show as well.”
“What exactly am I going to be demonstrating anyway?” Zuko asked, looking up at the men all puzzled.
“How you kicked my ass.” Sokka answered. “I guess that’ll make me your demonstration partner again.”
“Spirits, please not another rematch.” Hakoda groaned miserably.
“We’ll be careful dad. Don’t worry.”
“Every time you tell me not to worry, that’s just cause for me to worry more. I hope you’re aware of that, Sokka.” Bato laughed as he clapped Hakoda on the shoulder to comfort his lover with a smile.
“They’ll be fine Koda.” His dad did not look the least bit reassured by that but at least the effort was made. Zuko just stared down at the pai sho board with a frown before sliding his tile into place, effectively ending the game with another win.
“Shit.” Kanut growled. “You weren’t kidding. You’re really good at this.”
The soldier smiled slyly at that, and folded his hands together to rest comfortably in front of himself as he leaned back in his seat awaiting his next unwary opponent. Sokka smirked, feeling a swell of approval and pride at just how easily Zuko fit among their tribe and how well he got along with everyone. Including the other chiefs. He just seemed to click right into place and the reminder of that comfort only proved to further stoke the flames of hope that curled in the base of his gut as he thought about their future together. Not just the future of the tribes, but just the two of them and the potential for something unique and happy away from all this warring and rules.
It felt less like a distant dream and more like a steadily growing reality with each passing day. Spring couldn’t come fast enough for Sokka’s liking, because it felt like the goal at the end of all this struggle and turmoil, just balancing on the edge of his reach as he snatches blindly at the air hoping to finally achieve what he’s been craving for so long. Their future together laid just beyond those thawing shores. He could only pray that they come sooner.
It was childish and most certainly against the rules, but neither Zuko or Sokka seemed to care as they raced through the quiet darkened streets of the village away from the longhouse and the prying eyes of their elders. They slipped through shadows with ease as they made their way towards the warm welcoming light of the stables. The large doors creaked open to greet them with a few sparse lanterns still lit, having been forgotten by the last tribesmen who were tending the buffalo yaks and the stalls this evening.
Zuko's fingers wove into Sokka's as he led the warrior towards the back of the stable where they could tuck themselves in the bales of clean straw opposite Humpy's stall, and collapsed down into the warm bushy pile, easily out of view of any who might slip inside to peek. They were barely stifling the giddy little giggles that left their chests in between chaste kisses of wind chapped lips left cold from the bitter night. They made quick work of warming each other up with some additional effort as Zuko folded himself into Sokka's arms, and stretched out in his lap as they sank into the straw pile. It wasn't the most romantic place Zuko could think of, but it was better than trying to be quiet at Kanna's house.
The camel grunted his apparent disapproval but Zuko shot him a dirty look and hushed him before twisting back into Sokka's warm strong embrace as the warrior peppered kisses along his jaw. The scrape and scratch of Sokka's beard sent shivers racing through Zuko as he purred and felt the touch of chill as Sokka's nose teased at his skin as the warrior mouthed along his neck and traced the fluttering leap of his pulse with his tongue.
"Sokka." Zuko whined softly. "Don't leave any marks."
"Don't worry, my little ferret. I won't." He purred as he lifted his lips to press against his good ear and nibbled at the shell, causing the soldier to shudder and gasp softly in surprise. "You're so sensitive."
Zuko couldn't ignore the pink flush that rushed to his cheeks as he pouted. "I've never really done this before with someone else." He huffed and turned into Sokka as he put his own mouth to work, silencing the warrior for whatever he was about to say. He curled his fingers into the front of Sokka's parka and clung tight to it as he dragged them closer, closing the distance until they both felt like they were drowning in the heated kiss. Zuko broke away as they both came up for air in desperate little gasps.
Sokka's lips were shiny and slightly swollen from the force but curved into a grin he couldn't smother to save his life. "You're pretty good for so little experience."
Zuko rolled his eyes and straddled Sokka's hips as he leaned into the warrior, pressing them both back into the comfortable pile of straw as he smirked. "Shut up." And pressed another fleeting kiss against the warrior's lips. A taste, brief and blissful before they pulled back and Zuko's smoldering eyes burned with so much barely restrained want as he stared down at the tribesman. Sokka's own gaze was positively starved for more as his strong hands cradled Zuko's hips and held him firmly in his lap.
"Spirits, I can't wait til Spring. I want you now." He cursed under his breath. "I want every last inch of you to be mine."
The soldier felt his stomach clench with excitement as a rolling heat curled at the base of his gut. His heart was racing against his ribcage as he considered the full meaning of those words and just how delicious they sounded to his ears. Zuko smoothed his palms along Sokka's broad chest as he relished the steady rise and fall of the warrior's chest and the drumming of his heart beneath his fingers when he pressed down hard enough. It soothed the rapid beat of his own heart some as he reminded himself of their situation.
"But we have to follow the rules."
"I think we're beyond that at the moment." Sokka snorted. "Even if Hama is your new caretaker, I'm still the one that took you in the first place. It's frowned upon if we even kiss like this."
"Some rules are meant to be broken." Zuko hummed as he leaned down to press their lips together in a gentler greeting. Sokka's hand reached up to cup the back of his head, cradling the curve of his neck with the tips of his fingers as they smoothed through Zuko's hair. The sensation was thrilling as Sokka carded his fingers along the nape of his neck and traced the dip of his throat. The soldier swallowed thickly as he watched the warrior, mesmerized by his utter fascination as he outlined the details of Zuko's features like an artist memorizing every arch and plane of a subject before composing their work. Zuko had never felt so seen and wanted before and he ached for more and yet, he was too afraid to move an inch. Worried that he'll break up the moment and this precious delight as Sokka ran a thumb along his bottom lip and studied the relaxed expression of Zuko's face with so much care.
"You're so beautiful, you know that?" Sokka finally broke the silence as he breathed those words with so much reverence that Zuko felt himself tremble under the warrior's touch. He bit his bottom lip to still the way it quivered and lowered his head until his brow was resting against Sokka's shoulder. He wound his fingers into tight balls in Sokka's parka as he let out a shaky breath to compose himself.
"You flatter me." Zuko mumbled, but Sokka shook his head even as he continued to hold Zuko, with his arms wrapped securely around his waist to keep him close.
"It's the honest truth. I've admired you since we first met." Sokka started, speaking low into the soldier's ear. "Your grace, your elegance, your fire and bravery. It's all so terrifyingly beautiful."
Zuko could feel the heavy weight of Sokka's palm as it massaged along his back. He felt the pinpricks of tears rising in his eyes as stupid and foolish as it was to be so choked up over a few compliments. He felt his throat burn a little as he tried to clear it but failed and only made a soft noise of utter defeat as he shuddered in Sokka's embrace. If the warrior noticed, he didn't comment on the fact that Zuko was unraveling in his arms as tears fell down his cheeks and cooled against his skin. He buried his face into Sokka's shoulder as the warrior continued the comforting massaging motion of his hand along Zuko's back, sometimes it would work along his shoulders or outline his ribcage but it never stopped.
"You're so strong, Zuko." Sokka spoke his name with so much love that it only further broke that tenuous grasp he tried to regain on his composure. "I admire you for that. For your compassion and your love."
These words, these simple words, how could they have so much impact on him? These cherished beautiful words that Sokka spoke with so much sincerity and certainty as if they held all the answers in the world. As if they were the basis of belief and the foundations of everything in the universe that balanced before him. As if he believed every word he said as the truth and Zuko was something to be cherished and adored. That he was worth something in the eyes of another. As a human being and not-
"I love you, Zuko."
The soldier felt his heart leap into his throat as he choked around its thunderous dance and let out a shaky gasp. The tears came rushing down his face despite his best efforts to stall them. Sokka's arms were a security blanket that held him close as Zuko hid against his parka. He couldn't think of a single thing to say in return. Of course he loved Sokka back, and he admired and adored him just as much if not more. But those words paled in comparison because he couldn't offer the same conviction that Sokka had when saying them. He couldn't pour his whole heart out with so much ease and eloquence without making an Agni damn fool of himself, and even now he was still making a fool of himself as he sat speechless, crying into his lover's parka because he couldn't get a grip on himself long enough to offer the bare minimum of an answer.
Because nobody had ever told him they loved him before, aside from his family but that wasn't the same kind of love as this. Nobody had ever held him, kissed him and poured their soul out like this all for him. He had never fathomed it would be an experience he would have outside of what he's read in theater scrolls and witnessed second hand from others. Never had he thought he would be the source of someone else's focus like this.
Sokka's hand cupped his cheek and forced the soldier to meet his gaze as the warrior peppered gentle kisses to his jaw as he spoke softly. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything, my lovely little fire ferret." The scrape of the tribesman's beard was a reassuring sensation along his skin as Zuko reached up to run his fingers along it. The tears continued their steady fall, but the rough ball in his throat started to subside as he caught his breath little by little. A placid sort of calm began to settle over him as he relished the gentle touches and the warm ghost of Sokka's breath against his damp cheeks as he pressed kisses wherever he could reach.
Zuko blinked away the tears that clung to his eyelashes and sucked in another calming breath as he steadied himself. Feeling a touch lightheaded from the whole upset, he let his head rest against Sokka's open palm as the warrior ran a thumb across his cheek to dispel his tears and soothe him. Sokka's eyes were alight with so much love as he watched the soldier and smiled tenderly up at him. His gaze never wavered, that smile never fell.
“You are the moon to my cold winter nights.” Sokka hummed softly as their lips met in another chaste kiss. Zuko leaned into it as he chased the warmth of the warrior’s touch and smoothed his hands out across Sokka’s chest, no longer clinging to him so tightly his knuckles began to ache from the force. Sokka’s arm snaked around Zuko’s hips as he tucked him close until they were resting, chest to chest. The straw rustled under their bodies as the warrior shifted their weight to get comfortable.
Humpy grunted his mild annoyance across the narrow space where his stall stared out over them. Zuko felt the camel’s judgmental stare at his back and let a quiet laugh bubble out of his chest as he tipped his head back to spot the aforementioned animal.
“I didn’t know we’d have such an attentive audience.” He tried to joke, but his voice was thick and raspy. His throat scraped roughly as he heard Sokka chuckle.
“He’s a more preferable audience, don’t you think?” Which was a fair deduction considering their other options. He would much rather not have a moment like this with Kanna lurking so close at hand. The thought of any of Sokka’s family overhearing what just transpired was a mortifying one. Zuko slid off of Sokka’s chest so they were now lying side by side with his cloak wrapped warmly around himself. He let his head rest against the warrior’s shoulder as their fingers wove together into a firm hold. Zuko sought them out first as they tangled together. Sokka eagerly accepted as his larger hand dwarfed the soldier’s as he gave it a gentle squeeze. His other arm snaked around Zuko’s shoulder as he tucked him closer to his side and offered a little extra support for his head to rest on.
His cheeks dried as he wiped the tear tracks away with the edge of his cloak and let out a shaky breath that shuddered in his chest. “I’m sorry I’m a bit of a mess.” He mumbled.
Sokka just leaned down to press another kiss to his forehead, and carded his fingers through the soldier’s hair. After a moment, he murmured back. “Life is messy sometimes. It’s okay.”
That was an understatement but the reassurance eased Zuko’s scattered thoughts as he shifted against Sokka until he was turned halfway into the warrior with one arm tossed around his broad chest. There was a sleepy sort of lull that settled over them both as they laid there, listening to the shuffling hooves of buffalo yaks and Sokka’s quiet breaths under his ear. Their fingers splayed and curled and played together in a miniature dance together as they wove together and unfurled, tracing circles over knuckles and the sensitive lines of their palms before curling back together in a secure grasp that made Zuko’s heart flutter frantically in excitement and relief.
It leapt into a far quicker pace when they both heard the front door to the stable open. Sokka tensed at Zuko’s side, the subtle flex of his bicep going taut against the soldier’s back as he curled his arm just enough to cradle him protectively against his side as bootsteps entered with a cold draft that danced between the stalls and made Zuko shiver. He tugged his cloak more firmly around himself as the familiar gait clicked in his ears. Sokka rose from his spot first, releasing Zuko from his hold to peek around the corner.
“Sokka?” Bato’s voice called in confusion when the warrior had been spotted. “What are you doing in here at this hour?”
Zuko could see the small twist of the warrior’s lips into his signature easy going smile. “Just hanging out. Chatting with Li.”
“In the stable?”
“Yeah. If we went back to Gran Gran’s, they’d have to hear us talking all night and you know Katara won’t be happy if we keep her up.” Sokka lied smoothly, as Zuko shifted in his spot behind the warrior and peeked his own head around the corner to spot the approaching tribesman. He had one brow raised as he stared at them both skeptically as if he expected something more. Zuko had his cloak tucked around himself as he shivered again and tucked his knees to his chest.
“It’s a lot warmer in here than walking around the village.” Zuko offered as the older man stood over them both. Sokka stretched his legs out and leaned back into the straw pile with a smirk. Zuko couldn’t mimic his ease, but he offered what casualness he could as he shuffled back into the pile with his knees kept tucked close. Bato studied them both for a long time before shaking his head.
“Just don’t be out much longer. It’s late and you both have duties early tomorrow.”
“We know.” Sokka groaned as Zuko nodded.
“Yes sir.”
They waited until Bato had left before Sokka climbed to his feet and beckoned the soldier to follow him. They crept towards the doors and peered outside, spying Bato’s retreating shadow heading for his own home. Sokka waited until the tribesman had slipped inside his home before they slipped out of the stable and started down the path, slipping behind a few huts in quick succession. Zuko had one hand firmly gripped in Sokka’s grasp as his other hand kept his cloak tucked tight around himself to ward off the winter wind, just as they heard Hakoda’s voice calling after the warrior.
“Sokka!” Sokka started laughing softly as he raced with Zuko through the streets of the village, making quick work of avoiding the chief and whatever trouble he suspected they were up to. Zuko couldn’t ignore his own giddy excitement like they were getting away with something worthwhile. It made him feel like a teenager again as Sokka held him close and they both grinned and giggled and slipped through the shadows of the village like they were committing some grand taboo and not a single soul could stop them.
Chapter 39
Summary:
Sokka and Hakoda have a confrontation.
Zuko does a demonstration.
Tekkeitsertok is homesick.
Chief's Kanut and Tuktu put the 'chief' in 'mischief'
Shin faces his fears.
Notes:
I'm very sorry for how long it took me to write this chapter and get it up. I was stuck on a good half of it as I struggled to maneuver scenes I lacked the motivation to write as I recover. But its done now! And hopefully it'll be smooth sailing for us again.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Perhaps Sokka should have expected this after last night. There was only so long he could go with avoiding his dad when they lived in the same village, and last night’s fun avoidance game with Zuko could only last so long. They did eventually make their way back to Gran Gran’s and crawled into their warm beds and slept in quite a bit. Katara had already left to do her duties with Pana’s daughters, and Gran Gran had left breakfast sitting in a pan in the hearth for both him and Zuko.
They were just finishing up eating and washing the dishes when Hakoda walked in looking none too pleased with either of them. The quiet disapproval on his dad’s face had mostly been directed at Sokka as they were told to have a seat at the table. The quiet of the home was stifling as Sokka and Zuko sat side by side in their usual seats. Hakoda was still standing by the chair opposite them, tension wound tight in his shoulders as he pushed the chair out and settled in to have a discussion with them both. Sokka couldn’t ignore the squirming anxiety that knotted up in his stomach with the uncomfortable mood in the room.
The soldier was just as still and uneasy by his side as Zuko’s hand found his under the table and brushed their knuckles together. Sokka welcomed the contact as their fingers wove together where Hakoda couldn’t see them.
“Need I remind the both of you that there is a certain modicum of expectations for how you’re meant to act?” He began.
Sokka shifted as he shrugged off the reminder. “We’ve been behaving and following the rules.”
Hakoda shook his head. “Sokka, you and I both know that nobody goes to the stables to just talk. ” His tone was pointed, a direct warning that extended to the warrior.
Sokka frowned at that. “There’s a first time for everything.”
“Sokka.” The warning note in his dad’s voice only edged up those old doubts and frustrations that had been simmering under the surface for months now. It was a boiling pot that was bound to overflow eventually and this was one of those moments that it was frothing at the edges.
“What does it matter?” Sokka snapped. His dad looked taken aback by the sharpness of his tone. “If you and Gran Gran already act like you expect us to break the rules every single time we’re left alone, what does it matter? Why shouldn’t we at this point?”
“Sokka.” His father admonished but Sokka wasn’t stopping there. He straightened up in his seat, one hand still clutching Zuko’s hand under the table while the other was a balled fist set before him on the worn wood.
“None of you trust me!” He growled. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. I’ve followed the rules and I haven’t done a single thing to warrant the scrutiny and doubt you and Gran Gran have constantly sent my way. Your behavior towards me is witnessed by the rest of the tribe and now they act like I can’t be trusted to be left alone with my own warprize.”
Hakoda stiffened in his seat as he listened to all of this. Sokka proceeded undeterred. “How do you expect them to trust me as a leader, when you’ve clearly shown you don’t trust me with this? Just because you and Bato did these sorts of things when you were young, doesn’t mean I will and it's unfair for you to force that assumption on me and Li.”
“You’re right.” Hakoda admitted after a few heartbeats of silence spread between himself and Sokka. Sokka was still wound tight in his seat, but hearing his dad’s admission did ease the tension a little. Only a fraction though, because Sokka had so much more he wanted to say and it's been a long time coming for all these things that have been brewing in his thoughts.
“We haven’t been permitting you the same respect and opportunity that other tribesmen and their warprizes have been afforded.” Hakoda explained. “We just worry about you.”
“You can worry about me but still allow me to make these choices on my own without constantly looming over us.” Sokka started sternly, allowing the bite to leak into his voice so his dad understood these pent up feelings he’s been harboring for so long. “You and Gran Gran have taken away my ability to make these choices on my own. You demand that I be the man that can one day become a Chief while still treating me like a child. You can’t have it both ways.”
“I understand.”
“Do you? Do you really? Do you truly understand what that’s been like for me? To know that my dad doesn’t trust me to keep my word? That every time I go somewhere alone with my warprize, that he assumes the worst of me?” Sokka scoffed. “You and Gran Gran couldn’t even let me deal with my own grief on my own terms. Do you understand how demeaning that is?”
Every word that left his lips was like a blade to Hakoda’s chest but Sokka let them fly freely to hit their mark, because he wanted his dad to understand how much that hurt. How much that doubt stung and how it ate him up inside. He’d feel guilty for it later, or maybe he won’t. He wasn’t sure but right now, all he wanted was to ensure that his dad knew and that he couldn’t ignore it. Not this time. There was no way he could bury this under the rug and pretend everything was okay because it was easier than facing another hard truth. Sokka was tired of hiding all of his pain in the snow. He was tired of burying it to sate everyone else’s needs. Of being the rock and hiding how he was littered with cracks that were agonizing to manage but he still forced himself to do it, day after day, because they needed him to keep it together and continue to be the rock.
Hakoda was driven speechless by those words as Sokka leaned back in his seat and squeezed Zuko’s hand back. Their fingers played together as he urged the soldier to relax his near painful grip and soothed the waves of anxiety this little dispute may have caused. It occurred to Sokka that Zuko and his own father did not have a good relationship at all, so he could imagine how the man might feel witnessing all of this. But Sokka had no repercussions to fear from his father. This was a discussion that was inevitably going to happen sooner or later, and sure it might have been a touch more heated than their usual discussions, but Sokka was well aware that at most, his father might need time to process all of this and figure out how to make amends or find a solution to fix all of this. He most likely would turn to Bato for a second opinion and they would come back and discuss this further when they both were far more clear headed and calm.
“I’m sorry.” Hakoda’s voice came quietly as his shoulders sagged with remorse. His head hung just a fraction as the earlier tension bled right out of him. It hurt a little to see his dad look so defeated, but Sokka couldn’t let that cloud his thoughts at this moment. He needed his father to understand. He needed this to happen. “I am truly sorry you feel this way, Sokka. It was not my intention to put you in this position.”
He tilted his chin with an edge of defiance. Zuko gripped his hand a little tighter as their fingers toyed together under the table. He could hear the subtle change in the soldier’s breathing, the way it quickened just a fraction more than its normal steady rhythm.
“You’re a good man and a strong leader, but I can’t help but still worry and want to protect you because you are my son. No matter how old you may be, it’s what a father does. It would appear that I’ve misstepped and pushed you into this situation without realizing what my actions were doing.” Hakoda admitted softly. “I only want what’s best for you.”
“What’s best for me is giving me space. Let me and Li have the opportunity to make mistakes. These are our choices. Just trust us to own up to those mistakes. Yes, we’re young.” Sokka took the hand that was holding Zuko’s and placed it on the table so Hakoda could see it. Their fingers were still tightly woven together as Sokka continued. “Yes, we love each other but we’re both grown adults who can communicate and understand what is expected of us. If we want to cuddle and be foolish and talk in private in the stables, then that’s our choice to make. We’re not breaking any rules or crossing any boundaries by asking for a few minutes to be alone and have a private conversation.”
Hakoda nodded quietly. "I understand." His dad's attention shifted to inspect the way the two men held each other still, as Sokka leaned back into his seat. Zuko was watching him with so much worry in his eyes, but their hands never parted. If anything, the grip became more secure in its firmness as Zuko clung to him like a lifeline and remained just as defiant before Hakoda's observant gaze.
The chief sighed in resignation as he leaned back in his own seat and folded his arms over his chest. "I'll speak with Kanna about this. I cannot promise that she'll change her ways, but I'll try."
"That's all I ask." Sokka admitted, fully aware of the stubbornness of his grandmother and her willingness to cling fervently to tradition. Elder Kaluk was often credited with being a stickler and a grouch, unwilling to break from the rules but Gran Gran was just as bad, if not worse in her own ways. Sokka was aware that his dad had his work cut out for him.
Hakoda didn't linger long after their conversation was finished, as he politely excused himself and left. Sokka remained seated and relaxed until the door clicked shut. Zuko's voice startled him as the soldier blurted.
"AGNI'S FLAMING TITS!" The warrior jerked in his seat as he turned to face the soldier that was now staring him down with wide eyes. "What the fuck was that Sokka?"
"What?" He blurted back, feeling wildly bewildered by his fire ferret's reaction to everything. Had he made a mistake? Did he say something wrong? Maybe the hand thing was a little too much but it didn't seem like a problem when he did it. Though he never did ask Zuko about his feelings first and that was his fault. Maybe he should have-
"I thought we were going to be in so much trouble!" Zuko nearly shouted as he gripped the warrior's hand painfully tight. "If I had spoken to any one of my family members that way, I'd be dead."
Sokka couldn't tell if that was literal or an exaggeration but knowing what he does about the Fire Nation and the royal family, he wouldn't be surprised if that was the actual outcome.
"In my tribe, you can always talk things over. He may be the Chief, but he's still my dad and I have a right to have my opinion known." Sokka explained, then after a moment, he added. "In fact, even as a Chief, if anyone has a problem with how things are being run, they can openly confront him at any time about the issue. Without any repercussions."
"But that disrespect-" Zuko cut himself off as he stared at Sokka with a look of immense disbelief.
"We're all adults here. We talk things over. Emotions may run high but some things need to be said. Lines need to be drawn." Sokka explained gently. The soldier didn't look all that reassured by this. The warrior hummed as he pointed out. "It's no different than when you confronted me in front of the crew and challenged me to an Agni Kai."
Zuko paled a little at that as everything started to sink in. Sokka lifted their hands together and pressed a kiss against the soldier's knuckles. "Hey, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay. We're safe." He soothed.
It took a bit for all of that to really work it's way through Zuko, and by then Sokka had led them both to the couch to cuddle as the soldier came to terms with this culture shock. Zuko buried his face into Sokka's shoulder as he groaned his discontent.
"Your dad now knows for a fact that we're a thing." He lamented.
"Eh, to be fair, half the village already thought we were. We're just making it official now." Sokka amended.
"What will your grandmother think?"
"She'll get over it. Dad will handle it." He assured his little fire ferret as Zuko tilted his head to look up at the warrior with so much worry in his eyes. "We'll be fine. If worse comes to worse, there will be some arguing but that's it."
"That doesn't exactly inspire confidence, Sokka." Zuko murmured as the warrior leaned down to press a kiss to his brow and smoothed his palm along the soldier's back in a soothing motion.
"I'll keep you safe no matter what happens. I'm not going to let anyone break us apart." That was his promise and he intended to keep it. Zuko settled against Sokka as he sighed, wistful and worn out from the morning so far. Sokka smiled as he nudged the soldier with another thought.
"Besides, you have other things to worry about."
"Like?" Zuko lifted his head to squint suspiciously at the warrior.
"That demonstration you promised to put on. Have you thought about what you wanted to do?"
"Fuck." Zuko grunted and buried his face back into Sokka's shoulder with a groan. "No."
Sokka patted him on the back good naturedly and chuckled. "Well, I guess now is as good a time to plan as ever. I'll help."
"Great." Zuko grumbled.
It was a pleasant afternoon for the demonstration. The sun was out and warmed the faces of the tribesmen as they gathered around to witness the rare treat. Tekkeitsertok was just as excited and eager to witness the display as many of the other men were. Kanut and Tuktu were perched on a snowy hill that a bunch of children had made off the path. It had hardened in the cold night and became a suitable place to seat themselves for a good view. A few other men had gathered upon the large mound to sit and watch. The gathered circle had grown rapidly as people chatted and murmured about the demonstration and worried idly when talk about the aforementioned Agni Kai had taken place.
Tekkeitsertok recalled just how brutal Hakoda had depicted it as being, and he felt for the Chief in his fear and grief as a father. To have to witness something like that, with his own son in the middle of it all, he could only imagine what was running through Hakoda's head knowing he couldn't intervene or stop it from happening. As a father, there is no greater fear than something like that. Seeing your child hurt and being unable to protect them.
Sokka appeared more than enthusiastic this time around despite Hakoda's nerves on the topic. He had seen the Chief and his betrothed speaking with his son beforehand while Prince Zuko prepared himself with his broadswords fixed in their sheathe upon his back. He wore a black outfit that was unbefitting of the winter weather, even with the sun peeking through the clouds, there was still a slight breeze that lulled in the air. His cheeks were wind nipped already and he shivered as he waited off in the corner near Sokka.
His cloak was draped over a fence post along with the dark blue material of his parka that he'd taken off when they arrived at the gathering. After another few minutes of chatter, Sokka patted the Prince on the shoulder and gave him a gentle shove towards the center of the circle. The crowd quieted down as Prince Zuko stepped inside and scanned his surroundings. The snow was packed beneath the crunch of his boots as he took a deep breath then reached for the handle of his blades.
He drew them with practiced ease as they sang in the air with one fluid arc. His whole body moved like liquid as he poised himself, lifting the blades aloft above his head so they caught the bright rays of the afternoon sun. He moved them accordingly to make the light dance off of their razor edges before fluidly swinging them around himself so he was squared up again.
It was like a shadow play between himself and an invisible opponent as he moved the blades in quick succession, cutting through the air as his steps came gracefully with an elegant sway and shift. Tekkeitsertok may even go so far as to describe it as a dance as he spun around, twirled and bowed, moving the broadswords about his body as if they were an extension of his own limbs. It was beautiful and deadly all at once.
Tekkeitsertok didn't expect the Prince to lower his blades before himself in a mock block just as Sokka entered the circle with his war club and shield. Prince Zuko adjusted his stance to gain a touch more leverage while still maintaining a firm root as Sokka growled and lunged forward with his shield raised in a charge and bash. The Prince seemed familiar with this tactic as he parried with one blade and dove to the side, looking to exploit Sokka's guard with his second blade. It was met with the shaft of the club as the warrior pressed forward and forced the Prince back.
The crowd clamored with suspense and tightly wound apprehension for those familiar with their last battle. The visiting tribesmen cheered and rooted for both men.
His thoughts reminisced back upon his own children as he watched the two men go at it like this. With cautiously guarded smiles on their faces as they made lunge after lunge, blow for blow, dancing around each other like well acquainted partners. It reminded him of Leyla the first time she sparred with his biological son, Tulok. Despite Leyla’s overall nervousness around others of the tribe as she found her footing, combat was one of the few times she felt confident in herself and showed a sharpness in her concentration. She shed her shyness and wore the face of a warrior ready and willing to take blood to protect what was hers. Which Tekkeitsertok had witnessed when his men had taken the encampment many of his children were in.
Minako, soft sweet Minako had been an assistant for the quartermaster of the encampment and had taken up a rake from the makeshift stables along with his oldest boy Naoki who was a stablehand that cared for the komodo rhinos used as cavalry mounts for the officers stationed there. She had hit him in the middle of the battle after having swung the rake upon him and striking him over the back and shoulders. The handle had broke under the force as the Chief turned around with war club poised, expecting to find a Fire Nation soldier, only to find a frightened but still determined teenage girl trembling in her boots with a uniform that was still a bit too big on her slight frame, holding the broke handle between both hands still prepared to fight. Naoki was behind her, rushing in to defend the young girl with his own rake only to trip over his boot laces and stumbled to his knees at Tekkeitsertok’s feet.
He was too surprised and amused by these two to find any reason to be upset at the attempted assault, and had even begun to laugh. Later, Tulok had shared in his amusement when the story was shared near the fire of their own camp and Tekkeitsertok had gathered Leyla, Itsuki, Daichi and Takashi along with Minako and Naoki. Leyla and Daichi had given some of his men a rough time as they fought more urgently with actual swords and spears. Itsuki had hidden inside a wagon until Tulok noticed him between the supply crates when they began to raid the camp for usable items and gathered their prisoners. Takashi had ambushed Tekkeitsertok with little more than a tree branch after the skirmish when he saw the Chief leading Minako and Naoki away from the camp and through the woods with the rest of his men. He managed to avoid the first swipe by reflex alone but couldn’t avoid getting head butted in the stomach when the young man rushed him with a war cry more befitting a howler monkey.
It was possibly the most amusing and notorious story about warprizes for several years, especially considering it was their first year away from the tribes raiding and fighting for the Earth Kingdom’s forces. The Earth Kingdom wasn’t exactly pleased with his decision to take all six children home with him. All of which had agreed to come with him for one reason or another. Their personal history and reasons varied, but one commonality remained. They had nobody other than each other, and their commanding officers weren’t exactly the type to care when a war was far more pressing than the fact sixteen and seventeen year olds were placed on the frontlines. His own horror and anger aside at this little detail, he promised to care for each of them as he would his own son, and Tulok was more than happy to call them family.
The boys got along like a band of flying lemurs, causing mischief in their wake wherever they went. Leyla learned to push out of her shell and open up, and eventually she found her footing in the tribe and Minako was still his soft sweet gentle Minako with a slight spark in her eyes that arose whenever her siblings needed her. His heart was full and his house was even more full, which Uki didn’t mind one bit. They had tried for so many years to have children of their own as both of them sought out whatever aid they could and were blessed with Tulok late into their lives. But when they craved a bigger family, the spirit’s had gone quiet once more and their struggles were met with defeat. Meeting the children and bringing them home had been another unexpected blessing, for both the first year and second year of the war. When he brought the three Earth Kingdom orphans back, Kenji, Lanlei and Bohong had been eagerly welcomed into their family by the rest of his kids.
Life was good. His family was large and they were happy. Of course there were the typical ups and downs, as a few of the children had their own horrors that haunted them even so far away from the war. There were the fears that couldn’t be soothed so easily from quiet promises and strong embraces holding them through the nights. He was forced to step down as war chief when Kenji and Itsuki both expressed their fears that Tekkeitsertok might be killed if he spends another year at war. He couldn’t ignore their teary eyes as they clung to his arms after sneaking into a war meeting that the older tribesmen had gathered for. When discussion of their plans for next Spring came about, the two boys had rushed from their hiding places and tackled into him, sobbing their pleas into his parka demanding he stay.
He didn’t have the heart to refuse them, and even if he had, his men had all agreed to the boys’ pleas and opted to pass the mantle off to Chief Hakoda for the next year. Three years was enough for him. He had a family to care for. He had his kids to think about and his men were growing tired of the continent and its strange backwards ways.
He was more than relieved to pass off that responsibility. A few of his men volunteered to join Hakoda’s fleet, along with some of Tuktu’s and Kanut’s tribes, more often the younger warriors who had yet to see real combat and wanted to taste a glory similar to their peers. It wasn’t uncommon for them to return that Autumn with a different view on the war and a bad taste in their mouths, feeling far less restless than when they had left. They looked forward to the comforts of a long winter and the warmth of their loved ones at arm’s reach, with little interest in taking on a second year of conflict. They had grown wiser, had learned of the brutality of the outside world and the careless actions of the continent as they threw lives away and spread blood shed like it's a personal sport. They sneered at the ways of the Water Tribe and their warprizes, they turned cold hard eyes on the female foes and greeted them with blades as sharp as their cruel indifference and cared for little outside of their own colors.
It was a heartbreaking revelation to the young men who had been so restless for their own adventures, with an eagerness to see a world that was steadily being destroyed by so much hatred and desperation. Where orphans roamed the streets and starved under the whip of men who were meant to protect them. They faced struggles, an inner turmoil that waged its own war within all of them as they stared down a conflict between continuing to help the war effort in hopes of ending this war quickly for the sake of the bystanders caught in the middle of all of this chaos and insanity, and staying out of it to avoid the harsh reality that tore lives and families apart. Of a world that didn’t see family with the same care or love that the tribes did.
Tekkeitsertok was proud of the strength his tribe and his family has shown through all of this. From Kenji’s progress in facing down the darkest parts of his past and beginning to, even all these years later, finally open up and trust people again. To find his footing and a purpose that makes him happy. It was a long road to recovery and he still had a rough journey ahead of him but he was making tremendous steps forward and Tekkeitsertok had never been prouder. Leyla had grown to become such a beautiful strong young woman who could put Tulok on his ass when the two of them would start to bicker and fret. Their competitiveness was refreshing as they batted and bantered relentlessly. Tekk would even go so far as to say he could imagine her taking his place as the head of the tribe someday, were things a little different. She would be the first to stand as both a woman and a former outsider, but with an era of potential peace on the horizon, he would support her through it all, as would Tulok.
Many of his children had found their places in the tribe, or were in the process of figuring out who they are as people and what they want out of their lives, and he and Uki were more than happy to support them and watch them grow and prosper as individuals free from the shackles of this La forsaken war.
As he shifted his attention back towards the duel between Sokka and Prince Zuko, he found a similar desire for both young men. A wish he could only offer to the spirits above with the hope that one day it may come to fruition and they will find their own happiness, whether it be apart or together. Though he doubted the former would be an option with how close the two had become these last few months, despite their minor skirmishes and differences.
They danced together more than they dueled, leading them around the circle for all the spectators to witness their skill and familiarity with one another. It was rather impressive, he will admit but Tekk had found in recent years that he lacked the sense of joy in violence that he once flourished in. The battle lust was no longer a welcome friend. It made his heart leap and ache with so much sorrow, when before it filled it with triumph and satisfaction. He wasn't sure if it was due to the changing times, his own weathered age or just a fact of life as he grew, wizened and compiled his experiences into a neat collection of lessons learned and mistakes made.
Battle no longer soothed that restless urge. Only his family could sate that relentless itch for something more. Returning home was always the balm to his worries, and even now as much as he missed old friends and companions, he ached for home each day so much it hurt. Knowing Shin's current situation only fueled that desire until it became something frantic and desperate. He counted down the hours until their departure and hoped that Tuktu and Kanut wouldn't delay them any further than they already have. He felt they had overstayed their welcome in Hakoda's territory and the younger Chief was just as eager to see them off as Tekkeitsertok was to return to his family. They were both just too polite to make that feeling known to the other.
Zuko was feeling the demonstration by its end as his muscles sang their weariness. After the Agni Kai and all the time he spent recovering away from heavy hard physical labor, he was starting to feel some of the weakness that comes from idleness away from routine. Without the frequent sparring, climbing and heavy lifting, he was beginning to soften in places and tire in others that normally bore much more endurance than this. Perhaps the demonstration was a perfect chance to review his own body and its current state of fitness.
Sokka had been a fair opponent to defend against, but partway through their bout, Bato had joined the fight as agreed upon earlier when Zuko gave the subtle signal urging the man to enter. Dealing with two foes at once was always a challenge with his blind spot, but the prince had years of experience with even less visibility through a theater mask allowing him to, not quite easily breeze through this, but navigate it with much more familiarity than the average man would. It was never an easy task, and he was always under the threat of getting backed into a corner. If anyone managed to get behind him, much like Zhao had, he would be in a dire situation.
He managed to keep both men within his rough line of sight, and parried blow after blow from Sokka’s war club and Bato’s whale bone sword. He’d been shield bashed a few times that left him stumbling on unsteady feet but he recovered quickly and disarmed both men, forcing Bato onto his back and Sokka to yield with a blade poised at his throat.
The demonstration ended when he offered an arm in a water tribe embrace to pull Bato to his feet before bowing formally to both men in a Fire Nation way. The crowds had been far rowdier than when they performed the Agni Kai, creating a welcome relief as they cheered and roared in a more positive way and not in the stifling silence that felt so suffocating the last time he stood in a circle like this. He found his parka and pulled it on in a hasty movement to get warm before his sweat could cool just yet, and started maneuvering his cloak around himself as the tribesmen began to disperse in idle chatter with renewed excitement and enthusiasm.
A few men had approached to ask him questions in choppy Earth Kingdom, which he was more than happy to oblige their curiosity until Sokka came to collect him with the offer of a steam bath with the Chiefs. Zuko wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to that so Sokka just hooked their arms together to lead him back towards Kanna’s house to gather their things into his satchel and met up at the steam bath to clean up.
Sokka, Zuko and Bato were the first to arrive as they placed their belongings in the cubbies near the benches and undressed. Hakoda and Tekkeitsertok followed in after, then were shortly trailed behind a few minutes later by Kanut and Tuktu who were ecstatically chatting each other’s ears off in their native Water Tribe with energetic gesturing that put Sokka’s habit of waving his hands around when he spoke, to shame.
He followed Sokka into the smaller room where he began to prepare the stove with wood while Bato and Hakoda waited for the other Chiefs to undress and trail in after. The bath house was getting a bit tight to fit everybody inside comfortably. Particularly with all six other men being so much larger than himself. His eyes strayed to inspect the two new Chiefs with idle curiosity. It was the first time he could really take in the fact Tuktu had dark blue eyes while Kanut had a much rarer green of a darker shade than Zuko had ever seen outside of the Earth Kingdom.
Both chiefs were just a little bit taller than Tekkeitsertok but still shorter than Hakoda, Sokka and Bato. Tuktu was more lean whereas Kanut was broadly built similar to Tekk. He looked like a man of hard labor and long days, with large muscles in his arms and shoulders and thicker thighs that reflected a sturdy build. Tuktu was softer in a way while remaining the smaller of the two in size. He didn’t appear all that muscular in comparison to the other men in the bath house. It seemed to reflect his laid back nature far more, and from what little he’s heard about the tribes. Tuktu’s have been favored with fortune in recent years, and faced the least hardships out of the three. This was not cause for resentment though as his people extended aid to the others when they could and sent what they had to share with Kanut’s tribe when they’ve struggled through particularly long winters.
While Tuktu’s hair was short, with shaved sides and no wolftail to offer, Kanut’s was long and braided on both sides leading up to a wolftail. He lacked the colorful beads that were often seen around the villages and worn by many of the men he met on the ship back to the South, but unlike many of those men, he had two rings of black ink with intricate markings on his left bicep. Zuko couldn’t quite make out the markings or their meaning, if there was one, given his awkward angle but it was present and he was intrigued.
He had seen tattoos fairly often between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom, often reserved for the common rabble, criminal types, bounty hunters and occasionally even sex workers as a form of ownership marker in the port towns. But this was the first time he had seen them in the Water Tribes. Their designs seemed delicate and far more meaningful than the usual gang or raider marking which he could appreciate the artistic edge, making him ache to get a closer look.
His gaze lifted when he noticed Tuktu shifting in the corner of his vision. Their eyes met briefly as the older chief shared a knowing smile with him. Zuko realized belatedly that he had been caught staring rather rudely and may have given off the wrong impression, causing him to shrink back sheepishly and shoot an apologetic look towards the other chief. His smile turned into a nearly silent chuckle as he gave a discreet wave to dismiss whatever had grown between them, clearing the air as he stretched and let an arm drape around Kanut’s shoulders in a casual recline against the damp wood of the walls of the bath house. He stretched his legs out in front of himself as he smiled and Tekkeitsertok’s noisy groan broke the awkward weight in the air.
“This always feels good on these old bones.” The eldest chief grumbled.
Kanut snickered as he spoke in their native tongue. “Careful there, honored grandfather. You’re showing your age.”
Tekkeitsertok snapped back in their native tongue, his words rolling out in a great growl that only seemed to lean more on his likeness to the polar bear in which his tribe was named. “Fishing for another dip in the harbor, Kanut? I can accommodate you again.”
Tuktu, Bato, Hakoda and Sokka were all grinning at the threat and pointedly leaned away from Kanut as if offering the chief up for Tekkeitsertok’s whims. Kanut opted for a casual stretch that nearly knocked Tuktu’s half embrace off his shoulder as he shrugged. Sokka shifted beside Zuko, his smirk still planted firmly on his face as he leaned towards the prince to explain.
“Kanut is the youngest man to ever become Chief of a tribe.” He lowered his voice in Fire Nation as he continued. “Tekkeitsertok likes to remind him and Tuktu of their youth about as much as they like to remind him of his old age.”
The prince could find a good bit of humor in that as he let his own smile creep across his face before asking. “How old was he when he became Chief?”
“Twenty-five I believe.” Sokka frowned briefly as he paused to think on something before adding. “Tragedy struck his tribe shortly before we joined the war. It forced him to take up the mantle of Chief or let his tribe die out.”
That was a lot of responsibility for someone so young. Zuko couldn’t imagine. He had a hard enough time trying to lead a small army and even then, his power was limited by the will of his father, Prince Ozai. Before that, all of his orders had to be approved by Uncle Iroh or cousin Lu Ten, which took a lot of the liability away from him as they were filtered through a chain of command that was approved and passed along.
“My eldest brother, Inuksuk passed away from illness one winter when a sickness ran rampant through our people. The meat of a kill had been tainted and nobody realized.” Kanut spoke up, slipping into a less than fluent form of Fire Nation than Hakoda and Sokka often displayed, but it was at least easier to understand than Tekkeitsertok’s with the thickness of his Water Tribe accent drawn aside for clarity. He tried to roll his tongue over certain sounds the way Zuko noted many of the commoners that lived away from the cities, often spoke. “My older brother, Panuk followed him the summer after when he was lost to the sea when a fishing vessel was capsized by La’s waves. I took up Inuksuk’s position as chief, to save my tribe and my little brother Cupun.”
“I’m so sorry.” Zuko meant it with the utmost sincerity as he bowed his head sympathetically. “That’s a grave weight for any man, especially one so young and freshly grieving.”
Tuktu hummed in agreement. “Kanut proved himself to be a good chief rather quickly. Even if he is a hardass sometimes.” He reached out to ruffle the man’s hair, sending the falling strands of dark brown locks scattering across his forehead where they fell free from the confines of his hair ribbons. Kanut pawed weakly at Tuktu’s teasing and shot the man a look that may have been heated, but there was a lightness beneath the sharp gaze, as humor twitched in the corner of his mouth. The look was shared by Tuktu, though his grin grew unchecked as he leaned into his companion. Kanut welcomed the close proximity for a moment before shoving him off again.
“Too hot in here for that.” He grumbled in their native tongue as Sokka reached to feed more wood into the stove. Hakoda and Bato appeared to have no trouble cuddling in the stifling heat that steadily grew in the bathing room, and Zuko didn’t mind the arm that snaked around his waist from Sokka as the warrior leaned back to straighten up and tucked the prince closer to his side for now. Tekkeitsertok laughed heartily and grinned at the two younger men.
Zuko grimaced as he stretched and sore muscles protested the action, causing a change in conversation as Tekkeitsertok capitalized on the opportunity. The prince stiffened at the sudden attention directed at him, causing his head to snap up and address the men now eyeing him closely.
“That demonstration was certainly impressive.” Tekkeitsertok extended his approval in Fire Nation, causing a soft blush to rush to his face as he ducked his head in a sheepish acknowledgement.
“Thank you sir.”
Kanut chuckled, seeming to welcome the new distraction. “Where did you learn to use swords like that?”
“Master Piandao.” Zuko answered easily with the familiar topic. “He’s the greatest swordsman in the entire Fire Nation, and he trains a small group of students each year. Although, the dual dao were my own personal interest after I discovered I was naturally ambidextrous. Master Piandao encouraged it despite the weapon choice being a complex one.”
“That’s amazing, Li.” Tuktu chimed, teasing another broad smile. “I see why Sokka chose you now.” He couldn’t ignore the way his face heated up and he was well aware it wasn’t just from the rising temperatures. He felt Sokka’s arm tighten just a fraction around his waist as the warrior chuckled good naturedly.
“He was quite the opponent that’s for certain.” Sokka hummed, his voice lowering a bit as if the next part was something precious and not to be crowed with so much pride. “But it was more than that. I saw him protecting one of his own and the look in Li’s eyes, the fire he carried inside of him. Something just clicked and it felt right.”
There was a stretch of contemplative silence as the other men let this sink in. Zuko couldn't ignore the wistful almost dreamy tone to Sokka's words or the way the warrior watched him in the corner of his eye, a slight smile curving his mouth discreetly. There was so much warmth in Sokka's gaze as he smoothed a hot palm along his back, tracing the arch of his spine affectionately as Zuko shivered. The warrior did a good job of making the action nearly impossible to notice as he moved slowly in a calculated line. When he leaned forward to add more wood to the stove, Tuktu pondered aloud.
"When you say something just clicked, do you mean in an attraction or more like some spirit tale premonition?"
Sokka made a face at those descriptions and shook his head in blatant dismissal. "It was more like gut instinct."
"Gut instinct?" Tuktu snorted. "That's a first I've heard."
"Well, I prefer to place my faith in what I can easily explain with science." Sokka explained with a hum of amusement as Tuktu made a similar face back at him.
"You're just like your father." He snorted. "One day, the spirits will hear you saying that and it won't be pleasant."
Sokka rolled his eyes as Hakoda frowned at the judgmental tone. "The spirits can't see us through everything. We have to take our fate into our own hands and make the change ourselves."
Kanut happily chimed in with. "Just like when Tekk took it upon himself to adopt nine children as warprizes."
Tekk huffed, amused and agreeing with a nod. "It was a prosperous year. The spirits work in mysterious ways, even those we don't notice at first."
Sokka shook his head as he slung his arm around Zuko's shoulders and sighed. "You can believe what you want." There was a pause then, after a moment, Bato offered a question after briefly clearing his throat.
"Speaking of kids, how are Suíkaq's two boys doing? They've been wintering on Kyoshi since their first year as warprizes, right?"
Kanut nodded. "This is their first year back for the winter. Cupun usually stays with them on Kyoshi but Akira and Hikari just turned twenty-one so they've made a special occasion of it."
Sokka snickered as he nudged Zuko in the side, raising his voice very pointedly with feigned forgetfulness. "How did that story go again, of when Suíkaq took his first warprizes?"
"Warprize." Kanut corrected with the singular. "But one snuck aboard Tekkeitsertok's ship to rescue his twin brother from Water Tribe custody."
Tekkeitsertok made a quiet groan in his throat that seemed to imply a good story was about to be told about something potentially embarrassing. Kanut seemed all too pleased to regale them despite Tekk's quiet warning look shot the man's direction. The rest of the men looked eager to hear this tale again and encouraged it with guarded smiles.
"Suíkaq was with a group of men sent to intercept a Fire Nation messenger that they noted ran one of three routes between camps. The soldier was fast, but Suíkaq's bolas were faster."
Zuko frowned in confusion at that, tilting his head. "Bolas?"
"They're a rope weapon with weights on each end. They tangle up the legs of prey, and work as both a hunting tool and a weapon in war." Sokka helpfully explained. "Bato occasionally uses them from time to time. He's one of the few men in our village that is skilled in the tool."
"Like you and your boomerang." Bato hummed approvingly. Zuko had noticed early on that Sokka was the only tribesman he'd met that carried a boomerang, both in war and just around the village. He wondered if the bolas were just as much of a rare skill to hone, similar to him and his dual dao.
Sokka preened at the compliment as Kanut continued the story. "After the men got the message off the boy, Suíkaq decided that since he caught him and it wouldn't necessarily help to send him back to his camp to alert his companions of the intercepted information, that he would take him as his warprize."
"How old was he?" Zuko asked.
"Seventeen I believe." Tekkeitsertok helpfully interjected. "Suíkaq and I had a discussion over this on my ship in regards to the youth of Akira. Taking a child as a warprize was no simple task as it often was to take someone older."
Zuko supposed he could understand that to some degree. Children were hard to handle, messy and opinionated. Add onto that, they're more attached to their families for good reason and wouldn't take kindly to new authority or someone trying to step in and parent them when they had enough of that back home.
"It sounds like it's not uncommon to take child warprizes in your tribes?"
"It actually is a rare occurrence." Kanut began to explain. "It's only happened a handful of times in the entire history of the tribes. Usually it's reserved for taking in orphans or runaways forced into conscription. Tekkeitsertok just so happens to hold the record for most child warprizes taken in a single war but his was one of special circumstance."
Tekkeitsertok nodded. "I sat all of my kids down before we left Earth Kingdom shores, explained to them what being a Water Tribe warprize means and whether or not they wanted to start a new life with a new family." His smile grew fondly. "I was fortunate that they agreed to come home with me."
"I see." Zuko grunted.
Bato interjected. "That didn't stop the notorious rumor from spreading that Water Tribesmen steal children."
Tekkeitsertok dipped his head sheepishly at that. "Yeah, that may have been my fault." The other chiefs rolled their eyes and shook their heads at the old bear of a man, but it was more amused than judgmental.
"Anyway." Kanut cleared his throat. "Suíkaq took Akira aboard the ship and sometime between then and when they departed the harbor, his brother Hikari had managed to sneak on board and find his brother."
Tuktu snickered. "How did that even happen? They're scrappy little Fire pups. How did he go unnoticed?"
Tekkeitsertok made an unhappy noise. "Apparently nobody saw him. They were too busy with their duties as we prepared to shove off from shore."
Bato snorted at that, and Hakoda shook his head. Zuko had a feeling that particular mistake would never happen on Hakoda's ship. All of his men were watchful and aware, and with Bato on deck, nothing slipped by him for a second. Even further, with Sokka around. It was like being surrounded by a pack of hyper vigilant dogs. Even when everything calmed down and he was more welcomed up on deck, he didn't go a single minute without eyes on him in some capacity, be it friendly or wary. Even during his first escape attempt, it didn't take long at all for someone to spot him. Sokka was on his tail in no time.
"Akira had kept his brother hidden under the bed for what? Three? Four days?" Kanut explained.
"Just about." Tekkeitsertok confirmed. "Akira had been asking for seconds during meal times, which we all assumed by the rough shape the boy was in, that he was half starved from military rationing. We never questioned the large quantities of food."
Kanut nodded. "Yeah." He proceeded. "The next time Tekkeitsertok's ship made port, the boys tried to escape. Akira made a distraction by running up on deck. Suíkaq tried to intercept him. During that time, nobody noticed Hikari trying to slip away."
"Until Akira collapsed from sickness." Tekkeitsertok added in. "Our food was too much for them after their strict rationing. Both boys were in sorry shape."
"Didn't he puke on Suíkaq?" Tuktu asked. Kanut chuckled.
"Yeah. He also bit him when Suíkaq took him prisoner." Kanut held up his hand and outlined an invisible scar to show where and how bad it was.
Sokka snorted, turning to explain to Zuko. "He's the reason why I was so harsh on you about the biting thing."
"What biting thing?" Zuko blanched in confusion. Sokka inspected him for a moment, thinking back briefly before amending.
"Oh yeah. You probably wouldn't remember that. You tried to escape a second time and broke the anklet chain. When I caught you on deck, you tried to bite me." Sokka looked a bit embarrassed now as he admitted. "I may have threatened to muzzle you if you tried."
"I have no memory of this happening." Zuko frowned to himself then squinted. "Wait- was this when you were covered in bruises?"
"Yes." Sokka hummed, not at all bothered by that fact. In fact, he sounded amused by the whole ordeal thinking back now. "You whipped me with the broken chain still attached to your ankle. A lot. It wasn't very fun."
"What? And you never said anything?"
"There was nothing to say. You weren't aware of your own actions. I can't justify punishing a man for something he has no control over." Zuko frowned at the admission but Sokka just smiled and added more wood to the stove. The rest of the group had been listening in to that little tidbit and turned their attention back to Kanut as Zuko very clearly did not pout at his idiot platypus bear that put himself in whipping distance of a broken chain.
"While Suíkaq was dealing with Akira, Hikari had decided he wasn't leaving his brother behind and rushed to help." Kanut continued, turning his attention towards the eldest chief as he smirked. "He wasn't necessarily paying attention and charged right into Tekkeitsertok and sent them both overboard and into the sea."
"He blindsided me and hit me from my side. I didn't even see him until it was too late. I was focused on trying to get to Akira and Suíkaq." Tekk countered, looking just a touch put off by the description.
"And he kneed you in the balls for your troubles." Tuktu smirked.
Tekk rolled his eyes. "He did." He confirmed. "Hikari sent us both over the side facing shore thankfully. I had to drag the boy out of the sea myself. By the time Suíkaq got Akira under control and I was back on deck, we had two pitiful looking Fire Nation boys collapsed together looking worse for wear."
"Ain't that a heartbreaking sight?" Tuktu hummed thoughtfully.
Kanut snorted. "You didn't see them when they first arrived at my tribe. When they wanted something, they could look as pathetic as a baby otter penguin. I can only imagine how much worse they looked sitting all wet and weak on the deck of Tekk's ship."
"It was a pretty heartbreaking sight." Tekkeitsertok assured. "They were willing to risk everything to save each other. That's a feat worthy of respect." The rest of the men in the room nodded in sagely agreement.
"It didn't stop the crew from teasing Tekk though. Children are now starting to flock towards him." Tuktu snickered, as Bato snorted.
"You've built quite a reputation for yourself, Tekk."
"I'm aware." The eldest chief groaned. "My men won't let me forget it."
"And neither will we." Kanut smirked as he leaned back, brushing close to Tuktu's side as the youngest chiefs smiled at him with mischief in their eyes. The men fell into easy banter from there as the young chiefs started to tease and taunt Tekkeitsertok, though it didn't last long before the stove pipe started to rattle from the building heat. All the men fell silent and found their places around the bath house, making it even more cramped than ever before as Sokka began to ladle water over the red hot pipe. The first burst of steam was a relief for Zuko as he relished the familiar comfortable heat.
His thoughts rummaged around all the different stories he's heard of warprizes going through similar experiences to him. How it seemed to have a common denominator that many of the tribesmen found humor in. They're all scrappy and have a habit of leaving their captors with a few scars to tell stories about later in their lives. Zuko realized he wasn't much different from the rest as he tilted his head to catch the soft pink lines of healing scars that were a stark contrast to the darker shade of Sokka's natural skin color. He marveled at how, for some reason, the warrior still found reason to love him despite the pain he put the larger man through. He had even found humor in it as he showed off his battle scars with a broad grin and a joke falling from his lips. The prince couldn't help but feel simultaneously confused by that attitude and in awe of it all at once.
The Southern Water Tribes were bizarre in a welcoming way that he, and many of his own countrymen, had found a home in. It felt earnest and real, a startling contrast to the stiff decorum of the Fire Nation even behind the privacy and closed doors of their own homes. The tribes lacked that expectation. They survived and flourished by acting as one giant interconnected system of families whether they were blood related or not. It was something Zuko would miss when the time came and his decision would be made. As much as he wants to stay with Sokka, he still has to go home eventually. For his Uncle and Azula at least. To reassure them both that he was not lost, and ensure that his father would not succeed in whatever plot he's been weaving these last few years.
He still held onto the hope that when the time comes, he'll be able to return and see them all again. Or perhaps, he might even be able to take Sokka with him one day to show him his homeland and the beautiful parts of it that Zuko still cherished, untainted by the struggles of his childhood.
Shin was a bit nervous. He wasn't alone, which he was more than aware of that attempt at comfort but it didn't silence the way his hands shook now that they were freed from their restraints. Sitting up was exhausting and left a painful ache in his abdomen from too much of it, but it didn't silence the stiff discomfort of his back and so he sat, with his hands folded anxiously in his lap and a pillow helping prop him up, and waited for Li's inevitable visit.
Tekkeitsertok and Healer Hama were seated at a small table to give the trapper some breathing room, while Makka and Inaru stood guard at the entrance. He was surrounded by comrades though, he supposed to some degree that he couldn't fathom, Li was still his comrade. He cared when he had no reason to. He didn't owe Shin that kind of reckless compassion in the face of such a grievous act. To show such a significant amount of mercy without hesitation.
'Why me?' He called silently to the spirits, begging to understand. 'Why was I saved? What made me any different?'
The spirits had no answers as they often always lacked any reason to reach out and explain. Some days it was hard to make himself believe the way his family often did, and Tekkeitsertok's family still does. It was something he found worth admiration. That blind faith, that desperation to believe in something higher and absolute, the empty comfort that silenced all doubt in doing so. He struggled to find that since he joined the war and witnessed so much destruction and the vile acts a human can commit with little remorse. How a man can smile and laugh amicably around a campfire with his men one moment then grin maniacally with a twisted expression as he watches with a sickening glee as a village burns in the next. The disturbing ease in which normal men twisted themselves up to become monsters of opportunity.
It was hard to believe in merciful gods after that.
And yet, he still met honest merciful men when he least expected it. When his own form of mercy at the time was accompanied by a knife to the throat. It sickened him to know he had fallen so low as to share in that same vileness that those cruel men had succumbed to, while still justifying it as the right thing to do at the time. He made pretty promises and soothed his conscience with prayers and lanterns. He quelled the churning dread by lying through clenched teeth, that this is the only way. It was selfish and cruel.
Li had been nothing but kind and welcoming towards him. Even when he knew the truth. He knew, because Tekkeitsertok had told him, and he still fought for Shin's safety. There was no malice in that man's heart. There was no hatred towards Shin as far as the soldier's actions had proven. He prayed for him, he fought for him, he saved his life and even while on the cusp of death himself, still pleaded for Shin to be cared for first.
None of these things matched with the monster inside his head. None of it coincided with the demon that plagued his nightmares and crept along the edges of the shadows and his sanity. It left him feeling listless after years of clawing terror. It was an uncomfortable sensation to harbor and he struggled against it like a wet cloth against his face, quietly suffocating.
Shin startled when the door to the hut opened and a cold wind slipped through with the snow battered cloaked figure that stepped through. Inaru inspected the smaller man as he stomped the snow off his boots at the entrance so as not to track it deeper into the hut and shook out his cloak. Li's cheeks were wind bitten and cherry red when he drew back the hood and peered anxiously around the room before nervous golden eyes fell upon Shin.
His smile was apologetic and just as skittish as Shin felt, which only managed to make him feel more off kilter than before. Li stepped towards his cot and gestured at the open seat Tekk had been occupying earlier and left beside the bed. “Mind if I sit down?” He asked with uncertainty in formal Fire Nation. His noble accent rolled across his tongue in a pristine formation that only seemed to thicken the more anxious or awkward the soldier got.
Shin wasn’t really expecting the simple question and stared a few seconds as he let it sink into his brain then nodded, with a belated and barely uttered. “Yeah.” A half aborted gesture towards the chair. “Go ahead.”
There was a moment of hesitation before Li accepted the permission for what it was and settled in, adjusting his cloak so he wasn’t accidentally choking himself with it and folded the ends around himself for the extra warmth it offered.
“How are you feeling?”
Shin shifted to smooth the blanket across his lap just to focus on something other than the familiar golden eyes directed at him. The way Li looked so concerned and wary, choosing his words and his approach with the utmost care. He was sympathetic to the man’s attempts and simultaneously grateful even if it did make him feel a touch more awkward, he at least was leading the conversation to an extent that allowed an easier approach to the far more distressing topic at hand.
“I’m alive so I guess I can’t complain.” Shin attempted the easy going joke but it felt wrung out and dry on his lips. He didn’t miss the subtle wince from the soldier before he could smother its presence and averted his eyes to glance around the room, searching for something else as if the answers to all of their problems will magically materialize from the air. Shin felt a touch guilty, and sighed. “Thank you for that.”
Li’s head snapped up at attention and directed it at Shin with wide startled eyes. Shin wondered if maybe that was a mistake somehow until the man’s stiff posture relaxed a fraction as he lowered his head and tightened his hands into half fists around the ends of his cloak lapels. “I’m sorry.” He uttered with grave sincerity. “For everything I’ve done to you.”
A question was held poised on Shin’s lips but Li proceeded after a breath and continued to explain. “The night Admiral Zhao died in Pohuai stronghold, it was an accident. I had no intention of hurting anyone. I never had any intention of harming my countrymen but what happened with Zhao-” He took a shaky breath. “It's still my burden to bear. My mistake. It doesn’t excuse what happened but I wanted you to know the truth. If that’s any form of consolation to you after all this time.”
The words were fleeing from his tongue before he could even catch them. “Why were you there in the first place?” He knew he probably shouldn’t push but the opportunity was there and he wasn’t going to squander it while he still managed the courage.
Li looked awkward at first as he stared down at his lap. His shoulders were a tense line that resembled their military attention. As if he were still bound in the armor of his station, forced straight backed and uncomfortable. Shin recalled how many hours he held that form until his back ached and spasmed, too tight to unwind when he finally found a moment’s break to sit and relax. Some days he still felt that phantom pain as it crawled up his spine with the ghostly pressure of his armor strapped and jostling against his frame.
“I was on a mission to recover information that was being withheld from my men and would cause massive casualties.” After a moment, Li’s haunted eyes echoed a feeling Shin felt deep in his bones. “I refuse to lose another man to reckless orders. We are not canon fodder to be thrown away. We are human beings. Every life is valuable.”
“Even Admiral Zhao’s?” Shin asked hesitantly. Li’s head dipped, half between grief and a nod of confirmation.
“Yes. Even Admiral Zhao’s. For all his flaws and mistakes, he was still worthy of a second chance to make amends and be a better man.” He shook his head slowly. “I am so sorry, Shin. I cannot express-” His voice cracked and died on his lips.
Shin pursed his lips in thought as he considered the fact before him. After a minute, when Li showed no sign of continuing, he broached. “Was it-” He swallowed thickly then reiterated. “Was it a flinch response?”
Li nodded jerkily.
‘That’s it.’ Shin realized, allowing himself to revisit the foggy memories of that night that played over and over in his head for so many months in varying degrees of gruesome. ‘A soldier’s panicked reaction.’
A man with a literal blind spot reacting to an unexpected threat. He understood firsthand what it was like to be under Li’s mercy. Had things been different, had the circumstances been less dire, had there been less pursuers, maybe Admiral Zhao would have lived with a similar tale to tell that Shin had now. He understood that at least. He could rationalize that response, could see it now that he thought back and recognized with a clear head, but it didn’t erase those feelings of apprehension he felt in Li’s presence. Only time could change that, and maybe he will never feel fully comfortable again in the man’s presence. He wasn’t certain. He didn’t know what the future held for them aside from the painful relief in the knowledge that Shin was no longer welcome in Wolf Tribe lands. He at least had a reason to avoid Li for the foreseeable future. It would ensure he had that time to heal. To overcome all of this with the tools to approach it and chisel away at each jagged piece that had been tearing him apart.
“Thank you for your honesty, Li.” Shin stated, almost autonomously at first before clearing his throat and allowing a little more warmth to sink into his words. “And thank you for your mercy. I’m not sure if I’m worthy of it just yet, but it’s appreciated regardless.”
Li lifted his eyes to meet Shin’s as a charged sort of wave of understanding lapped between them like a sea shore. This cold embrace that cooled the hot sand that burned all it touched under the unyielding Summer sun. It was a temporary balm before the blistering heat made a swift return. The eventual coming of night will soothe it indefinitely but until then, Shin will grin and bear it.
Notes:
I hope this made sense. I kind of added ALOT of worldbuilding into the story to pad out a few things and kind of clean up/tie up a bit of Zuko and Shin's interactions as this will be their final face to face interaction in the story.
Hopefully, if the boys decide to work with me, the next chapter will fly by and they're back to being oogie again.
Chapter 40
Summary:
A major snowstorm hits the South
Sokka, Zuko and the rest of the village band together to ride it out.
Shenanigans ensue.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"That wind sounds horrible." Katara grimaced as she set the table for breakfast. Zuko was slumped in his seat, staring at the bowls of warm food and finding his appetite was not in the best condition today. The wind howled and roared, causing the door to rattle threateningly most of the night leaving the soldier with a headache from both the noise and the cold that crept across his face and dug its claws into his bones. He had already applied one of the medicines to his burn earlier in the night and reapplied a fresh numbing layer this morning, and taken one medicine for his pain, but the cold and howling wind was cutting through the medicine as it was. He may have to resort to something much stronger before the morning is out. Judging by the weather, he supposed it wouldn't hurt since they wouldn't be going anywhere.
The visiting Chiefs and their crews had all left a few days prior, allowing life to settle back into its usual state of monotony. Zuko didn't mind it, especially after his conversation with Shin. They had talked for maybe an hour at most before Shin's wound was beginning to bother him. The soldier excused himself and shared his final farewells to the man before his departure. His heart remained heavy but to some extent, while his conscience had appreciated the effort. Even while knowing that this may be the last time they ever speak to each other ever again. He was content with that knowing they had cleared up their misunderstandings at least. Only time could heal these wounds.
The soldier poked at the bowl before him with his spoon as Kanna watched him with worry in her eyes. Katara shared a similar look of hesitant concern between them but neither had spoken up on it. Sokka joined them shortly after the table was set as he changed out of his wet clothes from shoveling the paths with the other men in the village, and stiffly shuffled his way over to his seat.
He stretched his back with a groan and grimaced before pulling the chair out and plopping lazily into it with a sigh. "It's only going to get worse." He announced. "Dad and Bato are talking about moving the animals to the longhouse if it does."
"It's been a long time since we've had a storm like this. Not since…" Katara's voice trailed off as her words felt tight in her throat. Sokka nodded sadly.
"Mom was with us." Sokka finished.
Katara sighed and stared down at her bowl mournfully. “Yeah.”
Zuko prodded the food, trying to muster the energy and care to eat. It felt like it took all his energy just to force a few bites. With the numbness in the left side of his face from the medicine and the underlying ache that slipped underneath and spread into his jaw, every bite was a mushy, tasteless, misery. The portion was at least smaller than he'd normally get so he managed to force it all down without wasting any but it didn't ease the struggle to get to that point any.
The conversation at the table was stale and quiet for the most part as the other occupants ate their meal with the rare comment about either the cold or the food. When he finished, he quietly excused himself from the table and collected his empty bowl. Sokka had a hand on his shoulder gripping it tightly to stop him before Zuko even realized he had started to fall and lose his balance. The spoon in his bowl toppled out and clattered to the floor from the near fall.
"Let me take those." Sokka said gently, easing the dish from his grasp to set it back on the table. "Here." The offered arm was sturdy though a little cold still from the warrior's brief time spent in the bitter wind and heavy snowfall. Zuko accepted it nonetheless and let the tribesman guide him back to his room to lay down. One hand braced for the door frame as he passed, trying to judge just how badly skewed his own depth perception was at the moment, which the general consensus was bad when he smacked his knuckles into the wood before he had even extended his arm all the way.
"How are you feeling?" Sokka asked worriedly as he led the soldier to his bed and settled him on the edge. Zuko smoothed his hands over the furs and blankets still rumpled and turned over from when he climbed out like a sluggish komodo rhino earlier that morning.
He shook his head slowly in answer. "It's getting worse."
"Do you need me to get the medicine from Hama?" The medicine in question was a very powerful painkiller the likes of which Zuko had never encountered before outside of the Water Tribe. That fact alone was due to the special types of plants native to the region that made it such a potent relief. A part of him didn't want to accept it because he couldn't manage himself responsibly like that, but then again, the other part rationalized that he had no intention of leaving his bed anytime soon and with the weather fixing to get worse.
With a heavy sigh, Zuko let his shoulders sink in defeat as he nodded his confirmation. Sokka gave his shoulder a cautious pat on his good side. "I'll have that ready for you in a little bit. Just lay down and get some rest."
The soldier nodded and waited for Sokka to leave before beginning the clumsy attempt to arrange his bedding so he could crawl back under the warm insulated layers. Every part of him still felt so cold despite the heat that filled the home steadily. The door rattled noisily as the quiet murmurs and movements of Sokka and Kanna worked in the kitchen. Sokka's voice was barely loud enough to make out some words in Water Tribe but Kanna's tone was too soft for him to understand the full context of their conversation.
Zuko fisted the blankets up in his grasp and pulled them along until they rested just below his chin as he breathed carefully and closed his eyes. His head throbbed but the darkness helped ease that burden just a little. It wasn't all that long before Sokka returned with a steaming mug of medicinal tea in one hand and a bowl of hot water that he sat on the side table. The soldier shifted to sit up just enough to drink the tea down with a grimace. He appreciated the warmth it spread down into his gut and across his body in the process, even if it tasted absolutely awful.
When he passed the mug over, Sokka traded it for the wrung out but still warm, damp cloth he pulled from the bowl. Zuko gratefully accepted it from the warrior as he knelt beside the bed and smiled reassuringly at him.
"Do you need anything else?"
Zuko gave a small shake of his head and nestled down into the blankets to get comfortable again. As he laid the cloth against his left eye, he murmured softly back. "Thank you Sokka." His damp fingers found the warrior's hand and gave them an affectionate squeeze. Sokka smiled warmly back and ran his thumb along the back of Zuko's hand.
"If you need anything else, I'll be right outside." He reminded the soldier before rising to leave with the empty mug and pulled the curtain across casting the room in a more preferable state of darkness.
“I’m worried about that wind.” Sokka remarked as he listened to the way the door rattled and groaned under the threat of the pounding wind. It roared against their home like an ominous beast and left him anxious that one of these times, the old wood frame will finally crack and give under the force. “Wasn’t that door supposed to be replaced last Summer?”
“It was.” Gran Gran agreed from where she was seated on the sofa with a blanket drawn over her lap and wrapped around her shoulders for additional warmth. Her fingers worked the needles expertly as she resumed her knitting project. It looked like a scarf of some kind from where Sokka could see at the table, but he couldn’t be certain with how small the garment was at the moment. “But there were other more important worries to have than a door at the time.”
He nodded stiffly and shivered as another draft chill snuck into the room and crawled up his spine. He had put on another layer to try and fend it off, but it wasn’t making much of a difference. The hearth crackled as the fire guttered then rose up in a sudden burst of life before lulling close to the charred wood once more as the cold draft smothered the flames and threatened to snuff them out.
The door shifted, causing Sokka to jolt in his seat with alarm before the very human interference of his dad fought to shove it open long enough to slip through the narrow gap before slamming it shut with a huff. His hood was snow plastered and his cheeks were scarlet from the bitter air on his skin. He stomped large clumps of snow off of his boots leaving them on the entryway mat before turning to address them both.
“We’re moving the animals to the longhouse. A handful of families have already moved up there as well.” He announced breathlessly, scanning the room to inspect the only two occupants not currently curled up in their beds trying to stay warm through the biting chill.
Gran Gran settled her knitting down into her lap and sighed tiredly. “I’ll wake Katara and we’ll be up there shortly.”
“I’ll get Li.” Sokka volunteered, rising from his seat as his dad took a moment to shuffle into the kitchen and warm up by the fire and chat with Gran Gran. Rapping his knuckles gently against the doorframe before parting the curtain, Sokka gently nudged it aside to peer inside and inspect what the soldier’s status was. The steady rise and fall of his chest was a welcome relief as the smaller man slept. A mostly dry cloth was bunched up against the left side of his face where it had fallen against his pillow and crumpled around his scar and the puckered ear.
“Zuko.” He called, just above a whisper as he reached a hand out to rest against the edge of the mattress. Pausing, he waited a minute to hear the soft disruption in his breathing as he started to wake before reaching for the soldier’s hand and drawing it into his own. Zuko squeezed Sokka’s fingers back as his head turned to chase the sensation and find the warrior kneeling beside the bed. In the small sliver of light that slipped into the room from the parted curtain, he could make out only one open golden eye as it attempted to focus on the tribesman through the haze of sleep and the medicine.
“Sokka?” He mumbled sleepily.
“Hey buddy.” Sokka hummed, rubbing his fingers along the soldier’s knuckles as he noted just how wind chapped and dry his skin was becoming with the relentless cold of their winters. “We’re all going to move up to the longhouse for a few days to wait out the storm. You’ll need to pack anything important you might want to take with you.”
Zuko smiled up at him as he hummed, rolling onto his side so he was facing Sokka fully and rested his head against his shoulder wistfully. “Can I take you with me?”
The warrior couldn’t help but laugh softly at that and nodded. “I’m coming with you. I promise.” At least this was a nice estimation of just how out of it the soldier would be for the rest of the day. Sokka made a mental note to remember the medicine Gran Gran kept in the kitchen so he wouldn’t have to endure however long they ended up staying in the longhouse, without it. Not to say he couldn’t always come back to get it later, but he’d rather not fight the deadly cold temperatures that were rapidly setting in.
“Do you need any help packing?” He then asked, realizing the soldier might not be in the right state of mind to do so. But after a moment, Zuko giggled and nodded, reaching out to poke at Sokka’s nose.
“Of course I can silly.” He admonished, drawing out the ‘silly’ as his words slurred together and he leaned up, nearly headbutting Sokka in the process as he moved more forward into him than upright. After a moment, he corrected himself, squeezing Sokka’s hand as he did so and started to paw the blankets back with his other hand. The warrior unfurled their grasp to rise back on his feet and lit the lantern on Zuko’s desk to give him enough light to see what he was doing.
“Alright. I’ll be right back, okay?” Zuko bobbed his head in a jerky motion and threw his legs over the edge of the bed, cocking his head from side to side as he examined the things around his room. Assured that the soldier could manage himself for a few minutes, and noting he may have to come back and help him properly pack, Sokka stepped out of the room to find his father had left already and Katara was rushing about helping Gran Gran gather the important things to make it by a few days. Sokka veered past to grab Zuko’s medicine from the upper shelf in the cabinet, and made a direct line back to his own room to throw some warmer clothes, his bedroll, a few spare blankets and some miscellaneous items to keep him occupied during all that time, all into his own pack. His boomerang and war club were a secondary concern.
He set his pack on the table as he walked past, noting Katara’s own bag was already sitting on the other side accompanied by a steadily growing pack of Gran Gran’s necessities. Peeking back inside the room, he found Zuko’s satchel already filled with the tea tins, his medicine, and some spare clothes. It was near to bursting judging by how he arranged them all in a clumsy attempt to get them to fit. He had to pull the soldier’s cloak and parka out of the pack and replace it with one of the blankets off his bed.
“We need to get you a new bag one of these days.” He remarked as Zuko inspected the parka with confusion before understanding clicked belatedly and he started to pull the two warmer garments on over his head. His swords were set beside the bag which appeared to be a habit similar to Sokka’s. He didn’t quite feel right leaving the house without at least his boomerang on hand, so he assumed Zuko felt the same way.
“My bag is charming.” Zuko pouted as he stuck his head through the opening of his parka and had the hood half over one side of his face before it flopped backwards.
“It’s a bit too small.” The warrior explained as he held up the pack and how it barely buckled shut with the few spare clothes inside, as well as the medicine and tins.
“You’re a bit too small.” Zuko declared, a little too loudly as he swayed on his feet facing Sokka. He set his head at an angle as if in a defiant stare that demanded Sokka refute his statement. The warrior could only stare momentarily before bursting out with a roar of laughter as he set the bag back onto the bed and snorted.
"Oh my La!" He belted out. Zuko frowned then huffed at him, looking as grumpy as a seal pup after a missed fish. He folded his arms over his chest and stomped his foot weakly. Sokka smirked and placed a firm steadying hand on the soldier's shoulder as he assured him. "You're alright buddy. Come on. Let's finish getting things packed and then we can go up. Here, put this on."
The prince gratefully accepted his cloak as Sokka draped it around his shoulders and carried his satchel towards the table to join the rest. Another pile of blankets had been added to the collection by Gran Gran and bundled up with twine for easier carrying. Sokka placed Zuko's spare blankets, folded neatly atop the pile then tied it up to make an easy handhold. The smaller man observed the action and, when it came time to put their boots on and leave, the soldier shuffled about carrying the whole stack against his chest as he stomped his boots impatiently by the door. Of course Sokka had to help him put them on in the first place so the soldier didn't topple over with the clear lack of balance. He reached up to give Zuko's hood a firm tug down over his head and wrapped a scarf around his face to protect it from the freezing cold. His hands were stuffed into Katara's old gloves as he hugged the bundled blankets against his chest. Sokka had both his pack, Zuko's and a spare one Gran Gran filled with additional food to take with them all hanging off his shoulders. Katara carried her own and Gran Gran's bag as she helped the older woman get dressed in her cold weather gear.
The walk to the longhouse felt agonizingly long with the cold wind and snow pelting their faces. It forced them to move at a sedated speed as Zuko tucked closer to Sokka's side. The warrior slipped his free arm around the shivering soldier and helped him over the icy patches when his boots tripped or slipped about. Despite the fact it was late morning still, the heavy cloud coverage and the relentless wind and snow gave the ominous blanket of darkness that made the mind assume it was nearing dusk and not the sun's highest peak. The world seemed cast in a smoky greyscale and the cold felt like a frozen skillet smacking Sokka directly in the face with every brutal gust.
His dad greeted them at the entrance of the longhouse as he ushered Alik and his wife, Umi with their babies into the building. The shrill cries of the babes shared a similar state of displeasure with the world and this miserable weather, but the noise was not exactly a soothing one for the already frayed nerves of the worried clusters of villagers already huddled in groups around the building. Some of which had their own babes they were trying to quell with little success in the matter.
The area of the longhouse that they had turned into an easy sparring space had been layered with straw for the buffalo yaks and Humpy to bed down in. Ropes were tied off to make temporary dividers to separate the livestock from the rest of the people. Thankfully the animals were accustomed to all the energy and people, and remained calm in the face of the drastic change in their environment. Sokka supposed they were just happy to be in a warmer building than the stables.
Their family gathered at the opposite end of the longhouse where Hakoda and Bato had already arranged a small space for their own belongings. Against one far wall were dozens of snow shovels lined up, prepared to be used when the opportunity arose to clear a way back to their homes when the blizzard rolled by.
Zuko drifted away from Sokka to plop down on the closest bench seat and leaned into the heap of blankets still firmly clutched in his arms as Sokka and Katara started to arrange their belongings in a neatly organized row against the wall. Gran Gran shuffled off to follow his dad and Bato was checking on Humpy where the camel was currently ensuring all the humans in the room were aware of his disapproval by staring them all down with that same expression of tolerable indifference.
When their bags were arranged, Sokka started to unfurl his bedroll to lay it out on the floor then beckoned for Zuko's attention. "Can I see those blankets, Li?"
The soldier frowned as he stared down at where Sokka was kneeling, giving the warrior a look like he just kicked a baby otter penguin right in front of him. Sokka was puzzled by the reaction, jaw working to find a response suitable to inquire as to why he was pinned under that gaze but the soldier spoke before him. His voice was terribly soft, nearly a whisper as he sulked. "You stopped calling me by my real name."
Sokka did not have an adequate reaction to the distress that was clearly written on Zuko's face with that knowledge. As amusing as the soldier could be when under the influence of the more potent medications, Sokka was swiftly reminded that while the man could be giggly and hyperactive with it, he could also be painfully, emotionally vulnerable in a way that was not fitting for an entire room of people to witness. Zuko wasn't in full control of his actions and it was Sokka's responsibility to help lessen the risks during these moments of vulnerability.
He caught the way the soldier hunched his shoulders and ducked his head, curling his body around the bundle of blankets as he tucked his knees firmly together in the closest resemblance he could muster to the way he often curled up and shut out the world when things became uncertain, confusing or upsetting in a way he couldn't curb adequately enough. It was a defense mechanism Sokka had grown so accustomed to for so long but never actually considered where it may have come from or how such a defense became Zuko's default. It did little to protect in threatening combat situations, and the soldier had never been a prisoner of war, which only led Sokka to the agonizing reminder that Zuko's father was not a very nice man at all.
"Hey, hey buddy." Sokka lowered his voice in an attempt to soothe Zuko as he shuffled closer so he was directly in front of the man. Craning his head, he tried to steal the attention of his good eye and captured the soldier's chin with his fingers. Zuko shivered at his touch and squirmed on the bench as he mumbled.
"Did I do something to make you mad at me?" It was barely audible as he forced it between his lips and failed to raise his head to look at Sokka directly.
"I'm not mad at you, I promise." Sokka carefully explained as he caught the little quiver of Zuko's lip. He couldn't tell if it was a muscle spasm, considering it was on the left side, or if the man was just that upset at the noticeable absence of his real name. "It's just-" Sokka searched for his words before he admitted, lowering his voice further. "Not everyone knows your real name yet, remember? It's a secret." He lowered his voice to match a conspiratorial whisper.
Zuko took a shaky breath and shifted, tilting his head to meet Sokka's eyes as if searching to confirm that this was in fact the truth. After a minute, understanding seemed to click and the soldier nodded firmly. "I see now."
Sokka nodded. "When it's just us, then I'll call you by your true name, okay bud? But for now, I can't." There was another jerky motion of his head as the soldier agreed with that plan. Catastrophe avoided, Sokka managed to convince Zuko to help him lay out their beds. The soldier was more than happy to oblige and had a very specific method when it came to his own, but by the time they finished, Zuko had curled up beside Sokka as they cuddled together and the longhouse had quieted down to a comfortable lull. Zuko fell back asleep with his head pressed firmly into Sokka's shoulder while the tribesman enjoyed the familiar shape of his body tucked close.
Katara was assisting Gran Gran in helping make dinner for everyone later in the community pot while Hakoda checked in with the families that had gathered around. Only a handful had joined them while others chose to wait another day to see if there is any sign of letting up eventually. As far as Sokka was concerned, they were better safe than sorry by coming in now.
Sokka had many regrets in his life but this one was undecided as of yet as to join them. Zuko had slept for a good chunk of the day as both the cold and the medicine left him sleepy and out of sorts. It was growing late into the evening when the soldier finally stirred against Sokka's side, dragging the warrior from his casual doze at the first signs of movement. A groggy golden eye inspected him as his ferret's head lifted just enough to catch Sokka's gaze then squirmed against his chest to adjust the blankets enough to free his hands.
"Have a nice nap?" The tribesman asked as Zuko yawned and stretched his back out before his hands found their way against Sokka's chest to use him as a boost to sit up. He swayed a little and giggled softly to himself with a crooked smile before reaching up higher to cup Sokka's face between his palms. The warrior raised an inquiring brow at the gesture before he was met with the meat of his cheeks being smooshed between Zuko's palms to give the impression of chubby cheeks.
This had the soldier slipping back into a fit of giggles as he grinned. "You look so silly Sokka." He snorted and repeated the gesture. "Silly Sokka."
Sokka rolled his eyes and caught Zuko's wrists gently in his to lessen the pressure on his face before pulling the soldier down towards him so they were chest to chest again. He didn't need to see to hear the sound of Katara's laughter and his father's chuckle from wherever they were watching this strange scene unfold.
"You're in a good mood." He hummed, wrapping his arms around Zuko's midsection to stop most of his squirming. The soldier settled once he adjusted their legs so they were tangled together and folded his arms under his chin with a smile. "Good dreams?"
"I dreamt I could breathe fire like a dragon and I could fly." Zuko grinned. "I could fly as far as I wanted and nobody could tell me where to go. The world was mine to travel and I flew all across it just to find you."
There was a quiet coo nearby and a soft 'aww' that the warrior couldn't quite place who it was from and exactly how many people were eavesdropping on them, or if the sounds were entirely a coincidence. Judging by Zuko's apparent lack of volume control and the timing, he doubted it was anything else.
Sokka chuckled fondly at his little fire ferret and hummed approvingly at the adorable scenery the soldier depicted from his dreams. “I would like to see what a fire breathing ferret looks like.” The soldier cocked his head to the side as if to ponder the same thing. The twitch of his lips was the signal that he had succeeded to some degree, and whatever he was imagining was certainly worth the energy as he snickered and buried his face against Sokka’s chest as a flush rushed over his cheeks.
“Agni be still my heart, that would be adorably terrifying.” He groaned into the warrior’s parka as he stretched his legs and squirmed further up Sokka’s chest until the soldier was nuzzling the crook of his neck and sighed. “They would burn a lot of clothing. People may be forced to run about nude in the aftermath.”
“Oh my La.” Sokka snorted. “How tragic.”
“Cute yet flammable.”
Sokka opened his mouth then stopped, closed it and cleared his throat as he stifled the remark he was about to say aloud but thought better of it. Instead he amended the thought rolling around his tongue. “You’re pretty cute yourself.”
Without missing a beat, Zuko replied. “And I’m pretty flammable too.” There was a choking sound nearby that may have been his dad or Bato, or even Katara for all he knew, but he was glad he wasn’t the only one to make an undignified noise at that admission. A dry cough bubbled up from their surrounding companions as Zuko leaned forward to resume nuzzling into his neck and spread his arms around Sokka’s shoulders to cradle against him. The warrior smoothed his palms over the soldier’s back and hips, running his hand up and down along Zuko’s spine in fond little swipes. Nobody seemed at all inclined to disrupt them which he was pleased about that much at least.
It seemed like the soldier had started to doze off again but the angle was hard to really tell as Zuko kept his face down and buried it into his neck. Sokka adjusted the blankets around their bodies to help cover them up again and keep them warm as people moved about the longhouse going about various tasks or gathering in the corner to play pai sho or watch the games unfold between a few tribesmen. If he craned his head enough, he could catch a glimpse of Katara perched on the bench Zuko had been sitting at earlier in the day, with his dad and Bato on the other side. With the quiet lull the soldier had succumbed to, they appeared to have rekindled their own quiet conversation amongst themselves while Pana and Gran Gran managed the stew pot with Akna and a few other of the ladies around the village. One of the babies in the room started to fuss but the soft hush of their parent soothed them back to sleep.
It wasn’t long before Katara’s shadow approached as she carefully picked her way through the blanket nests they’d laid out on the floor and plopped down on her’s beside Sokka’s, on the side opposite of Zuko’s. She settled in and tucked her legs close as she spoke in their native tongue, keeping her voice low as she did so.
“Gran Gran said supper’s almost ready.”
“Alright. Thanks.” He grunted back, shifting his head against his pillow so he was speaking more towards Zuko’s bad ear with the hopes that if the man was sleeping, he wouldn’t accidentally wake him.
There was a quiet pause of consideration before she asked, probing gently at the situation. “How’s he doing?” It didn’t sound like the question she really wanted to ask, but Sokka had a feeling he could make an educated guess as to what was really on her mind.
“He’s feeling better I think.” Sokka sighed. “But when the medicine wears off….I’m not sure how bad he’ll be.”
Her eyes widened with concern. “You brought it with you, right?”
“Yeah.” Sokka nodded. “It’s in my bag.” He nodded towards the pack where the bottle was tucked safely away near the rest of Zuko’s belongings. She nodded her understanding and fiddled with the sleeves of her parka, chewing on the inside of her lip in contemplation.
Sokka could see something was eating her up and she would burst regardless, at least this way it’ll be less awkward. “You alright?”
Katara relaxed as she darted her eyes away from Sokka to stare at Zuko’s prone form against his chest and the loving way they held each other like this. “Are you two….” She let her voice trail before correcting. “I mean- are things….you know.” Her shoulders jumped hopelessly as she struggled around the words and the heavier meaning they held.
“We’re good.” Sokka assured her. “Better than good actually.” She didn’t miss the little twist of his lips into a smile when he turned his attention back on the soldier and raised his hand to brush through the short ends of Zuko’s hair that were becoming long and shaggy since the haircut he’d given him. He carded his fingers through the feathery locks and enjoyed the way they dispersed against his palm. Zuko made a soft contented noise in his chest, but nothing more as he proceeded to stroke his hair.
“I see.” Katara let her chin bob as she smoothed her sleeves down to her wrists for something to focus on that wasn’t her big brother or the strange topic that rose between them. “Do you still wish he had, you know, finished it?”
“No.” Sokka answered easily. “It hurt but I realize now, we were both hurting badly but all of that had to happen to get here. It had to hurt a little for things to get better.”
She huffed in amusement and gave his arm around Zuko’s waist a gentle punch. “You’re getting wise in your old age.”
He grinned back at her when he saw her smile break and the light return to her eyes. The worry had bled away and Sokka was relieved to see a bit more of the old Katara he remembered rear its head. It was nice.
“Supper.” Gran Gran called for all to hear as the cluster of cold hungry tribesmen gathered themselves and their bowls to fill them with hot stew.
Katara shoved herself up to her feet as she added. “I’ll bring you two your bowls.”
“Thank you Katara.” Sokka called gently as she turned away to approach the line where Gran Gran and Pana were busy dishing out helpings from the communal pot. His dad and Bato were carrying bowls over to the mothers who had their arms full with sleeping little ones and the elderly who were seated at tables with aching old bones that protested the weather’s turn.
It didn’t take much to shake Zuko out of his rest as Sokka switched back to Fire Nation to stir him about with a pat to his shoulders. “Time for supper, my hungry little fire ferret.” He hummed tenderly. The grogginess of the other man’s eyes was just too precious to ignore as he blinked owlishly at Sokka as the warrior attempted, and struggled a little, with adjusting their bodies to sit upright together. From this angle it was a little harder without the additional support the cots or their own beds had given him. Eventually he succeeded, with a smirk playing on his lips as Zuko sank down in his lap and scrubbed his fist against his good eye with a drowsy huff.
“The sleepy part of the medicine is taking its toll, huh?”
A quiet grunt of agreement followed as Zuko’s head lolled weakly to glance around the room at the other occupants and let out a shuddering breath before leaning back against Sokka’s chest with a bone deep weariness that seemed to make his whole body sag heavily in Sokka’s arms. Had he not grown so accustomed to Zuko’s typical behaviors while under the effects of the medicine, he would have been worried that something was wrong, but the man just looked exhausted. The warrior couldn’t blame him. It's been a long tiring winter and it felt like they only just found their footing finally with what few months of bitter cold remained before the thaw. He was hopeful that time would skim by between now and then, while simultaneously praying it wouldn't so he'd never have to face the day when Zuko may be forced to say goodbye and leave their shores for good.
Sokka glanced up as Katara brought their bowls to them, handing one to the warrior before cautiously placing the other in Zuko's grasp. The soldier accepted it with an appreciative bow of his head as he stared down at the contents and let the dish settle into his lap. He left his palms cupped around the rim as he savored the warmth it gave off. Sokka had to move around so he had both of his arms free enough to stir his spoon around his bowl to disperse the steam and cool it down some. His sister inspected the man with concern pinching her brows as she asked, gentle as she could in Fire Nation. "Do you need some help cooling it down Li?"
Zuko stared down at the bowl with confusion before lifting his gaze, wide eyed as if just realizing Katara was actually in front of him before giving a slight shake of his head. "S'warm." He mumbled past clumsy lips.
"Alright." She affirmed. "If either of you need anything, just ask okay?"
Zuko bowed his head in a jerky motion and returned his attention on the warm bowl as he smoothed his fingers along the rim. The stew was thick with chunks of buffalo yak from their hunt earlier that winter, cooked tender and flavorful. Winter vegetables and local herbs added a nice touch that padded out the meal to help stave off the cold chill by filling their bellies with a comfortable heat.
Sokka was halfway through his own bowl when Zuko finally took his first bite. It always seemed to take the utmost concentration as he navigated the spoon to his mouth without spilling it, pressing the edge against his lip before taking the bite itself. The warrior learned early on that the soldier's vision was often badly affected by both the medicine and the pain he was in, resorting in the habit of Zuko bumping into doors, chairs and various other furniture and or people that he didn't notice were that close, and having to slowly measure his hand eye coordination with care while eating. It was a painfully slow process and the food always seemed to go cold long before he finished but that couldn't necessarily be helped.
Katara, Bato and Hakoda settled in at the table nearest them with their own bowls once everyone else had been served. Gran Gran and Pana were finishing up with the line before his grandmother would join the rest of them with her own food. No matter if his dad urged her to rest and let him take over, she was stubborn and adamant to refuse before ushering him off to join them with his own meal. It never failed each time, and each time, Sokka found comfort in those familiar moments he missed so dearly while he was away during the war.
When he finished his bowl, he stretched out to set it aside where it was out of the way without jostling or bumping Zuko too much. When Sokka straightened up, the soldier leaned over in the opposite direction as he stretched his hand out to snag the strap of his satchel. Dragging it towards him, Zuko set his unfinished bowl aside to pull the bag into his lap and paw through it.
"Whatcha doin buddy?" The warrior asked but was ignored for the moment. At first he thought that maybe Zuko was looking for a warmer outfit but he dumped all the clothes out into his lap with no interest at all. His next assumption was either the tea or the medicine but each container was carefully placed in a row on the other side of him as he continued to dig. Now Sokka was just confused and curious as to what else the soldier had packed when his back was turned.
The play scrolls box was not at all what Sokka was expecting and suddenly the noticeable lack of space for adequate clothing made sense. "I thought I told you to pack the important things first, Li."
"These are important." Zuko countered. "I'd pack you in my bag if I could but you wouldn't fit." He twisted around to poke Sokka in the stomach as he grunted. "Cause you're too fat."
"I'm too fat?" Sokka couldn't hide the smile breaking across his face. "That's all?"
"It's nice fat. It feels nice but it doesn't fit in my bag with all the important stuff which is a serious problem." The fact that Zuko sounded dead serious about the 'problem' is what made it all the more hilarious, not just to Sokka but to everyone within hearing range of their conversation. Zuko's apparent lack of volume control was doing Sokka in as his cheeks burned with a flush of embarrassment when he noticed just how many eyes were now watching the two of them over their bowls.
"Li-"
But his words were hastily cut off as Zuko shoved the box of theater scrolls towards him. "Storytime."
"Maybe later." Sokka gently nudged the box back down to the bedding. "You need to eat first and then take your medicine again."
Zuko pouted but let Sokka take the box as he turned back towards his bowl with a scrunched up expression that might have been a grimace but it was hard to tell from this angle without the man facing him directly. His voice came softer, disappointed like a child disheartened by a broken promise. "But you said when we gather in the longhouse we eat good food and tell stories."
"Yeah Sokka!" Katara, the little shit that she was, was adding fuel to the fire. "Tell us all a story."
As if sensing the potential for a rally of support as heads turned his way at the sound of his little sister's goading, Zuko's own head snapped up with eyes full of hope. His dad and Bato were smirking in his direction and leaned back to watch this all unfold. Sokka grumbled under his breath. "Traitors." In Water Tribe and turned back to Zuko, resuming the proper Fire Nation as he proceeded to explain.
"Fine. I will read one theater scroll but you have to eat and take your medicine while I'm doing it." He caved into the seal puppy eyes of his beloved fire ferret.
"With the special voices?" Zuko asked, brimming with juvenile excitement now.
"Yes." Sokka sighed. "I'll even do the voices." It's not like he hasn't done more embarrassing things before in front of his tribe. There was that one sock Gull incident, which Meriwa never let him forget nor live that down the rest of his life.
It took a few minutes for Sokka to get things tidied up in their sleeping space, and put all of Zuko's belongings away aside from the scroll of the prince's choice and his numbing medicine that's meant to go on his burn scar. The hand mirror he borrowed from Katara accompanied it but she shifted down onto the floor to help him apply it once he was finished eating. With their bowls cleared away and the entire room's attention focused on him, Sokka stood up before the group of tribesmen that maybe counted for half their village, and started to unroll it. Projecting his voice with theatrical flair well practiced from reading to Gran Gran, Zuko and Katara in their home, he fit the Earth Kingdom words easily in his mouth and began the introductory narrative for all to hear. Children listened with bated breath as they huddled closer, and adults watched as he twisted his voice to match the dramatic damsel or the bold hero or the cryptic villain that intended to thwart their betrothal. He acted out the scenes with imaginary parrying and flourishes of nonexistent weapons with a wave of his arm.
He thrived in it all as he performed not for his tribe but for Zuko as the soldier observed it all with a wistful look in his eyes. By the end of the second act, Sokka's voice was feeling the strain and everyone was looking to be on the heavy side of sleepy. The soldier was barely keeping his eyes open as his head kept nodding off and the children were tuckered out either where they fell asleep on the floor or having retreated back to the arms of their parents.
"I'll save the rest for another time." He announced as he carefully rolled the scroll up and returned to his own bedroll where the soldier was struggling to stay awake. It was late and a majority of the tribe had crawled into their makeshift beds during the last act and listened more than watched. Sokka was more than eager to join Zuko, slotting himself into his bedroll and arranging the blankets so his fire ferret was tucked up against his side.
Katara was at Sokka's otherside then Gran Gran was nestled between her and Hakoda. Followed by Bato at the very end. Given his tendency to get up frequently to check on Humpy, he was often evicted towards the end to avoid waking the rest of them up in the process. Zuko didn't seem to mind being on the opposite end as he half crawled into Sokka's bedroll as the warrior wrapped a firm arm around his ferret so he could comfortably rest his head against his shoulder. Sokka could still smell the faint bitter medicinal odor of the medicine massaged into Zuko's burn, it was sharp and acrid but familiar in a way that made it all the easier to ignore it as he slept. At least it wasn't as bad as the constant fog of ginseng all around him.
"Good night." Sokka murmured as he pressed his lips against Zuko's brow and let his head sag against the pillows. Only the main central fire was still burning as the longhouse went comfortably dark and mostly quiet. If Sokka tried, he could almost imagine it was like sleeping in the military encampments again, which shouldn't be as comforting as it was but the habit was built firmly and had proven to be a hard one for either he or Zuko to break down.
"Good night Sokka." Zuko mumbled back much more softly than his earlier attempts. He was fighting sleep still just long enough to say those words without them slurring together too much as clumsy lips tried their best. Sokka relished the warmth those words filled him with and held tight to it and Zuko as he made his way towards his own relief in sleep.
Notes:
And we have more "snowed in" high Zuko shenanigans in store for the next chapter so stay tuned.
High Zuko is one of my favorite things to write (aside from turning Zuko or Sokka into various creatures for my own AU amusement)
Chapter 41
Summary:
More High Zuko
Snowstorm is still going
Sokka has ideas
Notes:
Mentions of character suicide (Ursa's) and discussions about grief.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sokka had his hands full for most of the morning as he helped his dad and Bato tend to the animals before heading out to the village to check on and guide the rest of the tribe to the longhouse. The snow was getting deeper but the wind had let up a little for a short time, which allowed them the opening to get as many people to safer shelter as they could. Part of Sokka was hesitant and guilty about leaving Zuko in the longhouse, but Hama was there now, having arrived early this morning and was making the next dose of medicine for the soldier once he finished his breakfast. Between her, Katara and Gran Gran, he knew Zuko was in good hands so he could focus on more important worries.
The morning was a steady flow of new arrivals in the longhouse as people packed and prepared to leave their homes for a few days until the worst of this storm subsided. As the last of the groups were trickling in with Sokka's assistance, the wind started to pick up with renewed fury. He scanned the snow bitten skyline and found only a single smoke pillar from Meriwa's chimney among the quiet village. Her and Kirima's home was built specially just to house the gulls through deadly cold and dangerous storms like this, due to the fact the birds didn't like all the bustle and energy of too many people and wouldn't get along with the Buffalo Yaks being in the same vicinity. Out of everyone in the village, they were the only ones that never stayed in the longhouse like this.
With the last of their people safely tucked inside where it was warm and they were greeted with a hot meal from Gran Gran and Pana, Sokka was able to finally relax and thaw his own cold limbs. His tired blue eyes searched the gathering of people for his fire ferret but didn't see him near their sleeping space. It was only when Katara waved a hand in the air to get his attention then pointed towards the other side of the room that he found Zuko with Bato helping feed Humpy treats and brush out his fur. The soldier was using both hands to run the brush over the camel’s flank and sides with the utmost care. He was still a bit unsteady on his feet but Humpy didn’t seem to mind offering a shoulder for the smaller man when he started to lose his balance. Bato kept a careful eye on him as well, and would reach a cautious hand out to catch Zuko when he seemed to stumble a little over his own feet. As Sokka approached the trio, his fire ferret’s head whipped around to spot him and grinned with unbridled delight.
“Sokka!” He cheered, forgetting about the brush still in his hand when he shuffled towards him to give him a hug. Sokka wrapped his arms around Zuko, returning with a platypus bear hug of his own that the soldier wiggled in and tipped his head back to beam up at him. After a moment, he frowned at the warrior with a huff. “You’re cold. You shouldn’t go out when it's cold like this. You’ll get sick, you know!”
Sokka caught Bato’s laughter over the din of all the tribe moving about and getting settled in. Children were racing around between their parents, giggling and stomping about with poorly contained excitement, but even all that noise couldn’t snuff out Zuko’s clear lack of volume control as he stepped back with one hand on his hip and the other waving the camel brush in the air at him as he scolded the warrior. “If you get sick, then that’ll be bad. It’s dangerous. You need to take better care of yourself, Sokka.”
Zuko had no problem dropping the camel brush on the small stool Bato had set beside Humpy’s feeding area for the soldier to sit on earlier, and grabbed Sokka by the hand to lead him away from the makeshift stable area. He shivered at the warrior’s touch and shot a worried look at Sokka over his shoulder. “Let’s get you warmed up!” He declared as he started to lead them both back across the longhouse towards the main central fire where Gran Gran and Katara were standing.
Both were smiling cheekily at him as Zuko dragged him over with the hopes of warming the tribesman up. Sokka sighed, letting his shoulders sag in defeat against his ferret’s desperate fretting as he directed Sokka to stay. “There. This should warm you up.”
“Thank you Li.” Sokka praised, looping an affectionate arm around the soldier’s shoulders to tuck him close against his side as he lowered his voice so only those immediately nearby could hear him. “I appreciate your concern.”
Zuko bobbed his head in agreement, then cocked his head as he addressed the tribesman, leaning into Sokka’s strong sturdy body as he admitted, still a bit too loudly. “Even platypus bears get sick. And I don’t want my platypus bear to get sick. I’m not very good at helping sick people. I can only fix injuries.” He scanned over Sokka quickly before adding. “You’re not injured, are you? I can help with that.”
The warrior tried to ignore the way his face was burning red at the soldier’s words and not the stinging cold wind, but it was hard when he could hear the laughter of his family, and the snickers from his sister and surrounding crewmen that had also caught Zuko’s declarations through all the other chatter in the room. He shook his head and gave Zuko a gentle squeeze as he corrected. “I’m not hurt. Thank you though.”
Zuko bobbed his head in approval and shivered against his side. “You’re still cold though.”
“Yeah.” Sokka agreed. “It’s going to take a little bit. I’m fine now.” Tui and La , Sokka was beginning to wonder if Hama increased the dose for the medicine or if the consecutive doses each day was just making his loopy behavior stronger. The last time this happened, the soldier had slept through those three days so he wasn’t often awake or lucid enough to do much talking at all, and only roused long enough to eat something. This time around, he seemed a bit more all over the place. Perhaps it was the change in environment or maybe Zuko’s body was already developing a slight tolerance or maybe even the fact they treated it much earlier than last time. There was a lot of things that it could be and Sokka wasn’t educated enough on the topic to really know the answer he was looking for. He might ask Hama about it later when he gets a chance, preferably away from Zuko so he could ask the more personal questions that made him worry all the time about the soldier.
Though the warrior recognized the irony in his ferret's concerns. Sokka spent so much time fretting and worrying about his own family and their health during this time of year, that he often ignored or neglected his own. He rarely was the one to get sick, not since he was a little kid, and back then, if he got something, Katara usually did as well and they’d ride out their colds together in a cuddled miserable pile as their parents hovered worriedly over them. Now it was Sokka’s turn to do so over Zuko, and instead, his wily little ferret was dishing it back out.
He was shaken out of his thoughts by a small voice calling up towards him, shyly asking in their native tongue. “Sokka?” The warrior glanced down to find three of the children from the night before that had gathered around for the story. They all looked timid as they nudged the speaker to continue asking whatever was on their minds.
“Yeah?” His voice softened a bit more. “What’s up?”
“Um…” The little boy shifted anxiously before the little girl beside him blurted out.
“Can you read us the rest of the story?” She leaned up on her tippy toes and rocked back. “Please!”
Sokka was surprised by the question as he glanced around the room. Most of the newcomers to the longhouse had settled in with hot meals and found a comfortable spot for their families, laying out bedding and resting in the warmth the longhouse offered.
“I don’t know.” He sounded uncertain, playing up his apprehension as the kids gave him big seal puppy eyes. He didn’t even need to look off to his side to know Zuko was giving him the same hopeful look. “Hm….” He hummed, stroking the longer hairs of his beard contemplatively as his lips twisted into a barely concealed smile, sly and teasing.
“I guess I could but only if Katara helped me with the voices.” He explained. He heard his sister sputter behind him and the mildly bewildered ‘what!’ as he continued. “I’m not very good with the women’s voices so I’m going to need her help for the next few parts of the story.”
The children turned excited eyes towards his sister as Sokka followed their expressions to find Katara’s adamant refusal as she shook her head. “Unfortunately I’m busy.” She declared.
Gran Gran smiled innocently. “Don’t worry about it dear. Pana and I can finish up here. You go help your brother tell the rest of the story.”
She gawked at their grandmother with a look that clearly said traitor! looking just as put off as Sokka felt when she wiggled her claws in last night. The smug satisfaction was clear on his face as she stomped over towards him with an air of sisterly displeasure and mouthed. ‘You’re so dead. ’
Feeling just that much more bold, Sokka cooed. “Awww my beloved little sister is going to help me tell a story! You’re the best little sister ever! Yes you are!”
He narrowly avoided the swipe of her hand as it lunged out like an irate pygmy puma before glaring over her shoulder. Sokka snickered and ducked towards their belongings to find the scroll from the night before as Zuko plopped down into the bedding to get comfortable. Sokka shed his slightly damp parka for a dryer long sleeve in his bag and left it to hang and air out as he pulled the dry clothes on hastily. With the rest of the tribe gathered and turning their attention to his direction, he and Katara stood before their people as he unrolled the scroll so they both could read it aloud. Katara picked out the lines for the women in the story, as Sokka began the narration for the next act.
They were about halfway through the second act of the morning when Sokka noticed during Katara's lines something concerning with his fire ferret. He tried not to draw too much attention to the soldier as his eyes scanned the corner of the room where Zuko sat with their belongings, a little ways away from where Sokka currently stood near the crackling fire. Zuko hadn't been paying much attention to the story for several minutes and his content hazy smile that he often wore during storytimes held melted and withered to something slightly pained.
Sokka tuned into his own lines and played them out with a little less enthusiasm than he had been, as he directed his gestures and tried to discreetly catch either his father's attention or Gran Gran's, both of which were sitting near Zuko. Their backs had been turned towards the soldier during the story as they focused on the tale, but now that Sokka could see the little hitch and shaky rise of Zuko's shoulders where he buried his face into his arms and curled up on himself, he couldn't ignore it. And stopping the story would just draw more unwanted attention on the man when he was already in a vulnerable spot.
It took a few minutes and more back and forth before he managed to snag Pana's worried glances and gave a small nod towards the soldier. She extracted herself from her seat a few spaces down from where the soldier was sitting, and cautiously knelt beside Zuko. Relieved that someone was checking on his ferret in his absence, he focused on finishing the story before anyone else noticed the oddity. He put more effort into his acting and volume to his voice as Pana guided Zuko to his feet and urged them both along the wall towards the private council chamber where Zuko could get a bit more privacy for whatever was bothering him. Sokka gave a relieved nod as Pana nodded back over her shoulder and quietly shut the door.
A few minutes later, Hama made her way towards the same door and slipped inside with just as much care and discretion. Both his dad and Gran Gran had noticed, as had a small handful of people who just so happened to be facing the direction but a few confused faces or attempts to politely ignore it was better than the entire room being fixed on the soldier.
It didn’t take too long before they finished the current act they were on and Sokka opted to save the rest for later in the evening when supper rolled around. Katara agreed though her reasoning for it was simply to avoid the eyes of the entire tribe as she tried to match Sokka’s pacing and dramatic flair. It was something that the warrior had taken great pride in as he often flexed his storytelling chops, but the moment didn’t allow for him to have much indulgence in the appeal as he put the scroll away in their belongings and waited a few minutes for the tribe to resume their own activities. With less eyes on him, he slipped along the wall and entered the room to check on his fire ferret.
The first thing he noticed was Hama and Pana both knelt beside Zuko where he had curled up on himself once more and found a spot comfortable enough to tuck against the wall. He hugged his knees to his chest and buried his face as he shuddered and gasped softly, slowly coming down from what Sokka assumed was a much more forceful episode than what he was seeing. It came in longer stints as he followed the breathing exercises that he often portrayed. Hama coached him through it, reminding him of the simple process.
The door clicked shut behind Sokka as he stepped further into the room, drawing Pana’s worried gaze. Her lips twitched into a relieved smile as she murmured softly to the soldier. “Li, Sokka is here.”
“Hey buddy.” He called gently and lingered near the door in case Zuko didn’t actually want him during this vulnerable situation. It would sting a little, but Sokka understood that sometimes you just want to be left alone to deal with it. He was relieved when Zuko’s red ringed eyes lifted to find his gaze, with one hand reaching out pleadingly to the warrior. Sokka didn’t waste any time as Pana backed away to give him space to take the spot beside the soldier. Deciding that the situation was being handled by the professionals at ferret wrangling, she snuck back out the door and left them alone.
Zuko’s tear damp fingers snagged at Sokka’s arm before pulling him down with much more force than the tribesman expected but he conceded easily with a lazy flop onto the cushions. Hama remained, watching the soldier with puzzlement.
“Are you alright?” Sokka asked gently as the soldier buried his face into the warrior’s shoulder while strong arms snaked around his torso to tuck him firmly against Sokka’s chest. Zuko had settled into the warrior’s lap in that easy familiar way they often occupied in the few rare private moments they could snag away from prying eyes.
The concerning answer came when Zuko only seemed to cry harder into Sokka’s embrace and clung to the warrior with a ferocity as if he could just disappear from the world if he pressed hard enough against his torso and curled into a tighter ball. Without any clues as to what caused this, Sokka deferred to Hama only for her to shrug as well.
“He hasn’t said anything to anyone yet.” She answered.
“Ah.” Sokka sighed. It was going to be one of those days. After a minute, he asked, addressing Zuko as he spoke clearly in Fire Nation, with a firmness that hopefully would get his attention through the quiet sobs that made his fragile body tremble so forcefully. “Li, are you in any pain anywhere?”
There was a small delayed shake of his head.
“Do you feel sick at all?”
Another delayed shake of the head.
“Do you need Hama’s help with anything?”
There was a long pause as he breathed heavily and tried to calm himself enough as he thought over the question. When Sokka felt he might need to ask again, Zuko finally gave a shake of his head.
“I understand.” She hummed, turning a small smile to Sokka as she reminded. “If he changes his mind, I’ll be just outside.”
“Thank you Hama.” The warrior breathed as he smoothed his palm firmly down Zuko’s back in repetitive soothing motions. The healer rose on stiff legs and shuffled out the door to join the rest of the tribe, leaving him and Zuko alone.
Sokka let out a weary exhale before lowering his voice with extra care and murmured into his fire ferret’s ear. “Zuko?” The soldier’s head tilted up to address the sound of his real name. With the man’s whole attention on him now, he spoke with care. “Would you like to talk about it?”
There was another long delay before the soldier gave an answer in the form of a hesitant shrug. He turned his attention back down and pressed closer to Sokka as he sniffled. The warrior was willing to be patient and let the other man get his thoughts in order. As far as he was concerned, they had all the time in the world. He adjusted their positions to get more comfortable so Sokka could recline his back against the wall with the cushion propped between his back and the wood. Zuko shifted with him so he was curled around Sokka’s waist, half sitting in his lap with his legs stretched out as he looped arms over the warrior’s shoulders in a desperate embrace. One strong hand massaged patterns along the soldier’s back, feeling the ridges and lines of old scars beneath the thin fabric of his clothes as Sokka’s fingers traced along them and overlapped his spine.
Eventually, as the sniffles and hiccups died down, Zuko finally broached the topic of what had upset him so horribly that he broke down without warning in the middle of the hall.
His voice trembled, sounding so tiny as he admitted in his native tongue. “I miss my mom.”
“ Oh Zuko .” Sokka was sympathetic to the soldier’s homesickness as he attempted to comfort him through it. The warrior wasn’t new to this feeling, as he shared the soldier’s same wistful yearning to see his own mother again, but Zuko had expressed this same painful ache before, and just as it had been before, Sokka soothed him through the rough patch.
“I know but you’ll see her again soon. When Spring comes.” He assured, even though there was that same painful ache at the knowledge that Zuko seeing his mother again would mean he would have to leave and return to his homeland. He wouldn’t stay with Sokka in the tribe where they could chase these feelings and solidify their relationship to something stable and true in the eyes of the tribe.
Sokka felt like he was missing something as he watched Zuko’s lip tremble as he fended off the returning sob that cracked in his throat and the hot tears resumed their tracks down his face as he silently shook his head at that. Perhaps that was the same worry Zuko had considered. Did he feel like he couldn’t return home if it meant losing Sokka? Sokka didn’t want to be the wedge that separated Zuko from his family if his mother was one of the few good things in the man’s life. He had no qualms about kicking Prince Ozai to the curb and ensuring Zuko never saw his father again for the rest of his life. La bless him, he would be more than happy to introduce the man to his war club personally. He wondered absently how Prince Ozai would fare in an Agni Kai against Sokka, and whether or not Sokka could demand one being that he was from the Southern Water Tribe and not Calderan nobility. He’d fantasized a few times about that shortly after he discovered the truth behind Zuko’s burn. Perhap that was something to consult Lady Ezra about later.
“Hey buddy, it’s okay. Why are you so upset?” He caught Zuko’s chin with a gentle scoop of his fingers and adjusted his attention so he could see the soldier’s eyes and smiled down at him, trying to bestow some sort of comfort on the smaller man as he managed this touchy topic. “You’ll see your mom soon, right? She’s probably eagerly waiting for you to come back home and if she doesn’t know about you now, then it’ll be a big surprise.”
That did the complete opposite of reassuring Zuko and Sokka had no idea what he said wrong that made the soldier crumple against his chest like wet paper. His sobs grew stronger and more distressed as he quaked in the warrior’s arms. Maybe he should have asked Pana and Hama to stay with him. He had no idea what he was doing wrong, or if it was just some weird side effect of the medications messing with Zuko’s head and he had no idea how to manage it.
“Zuko, buddy, please talk to me. Tell me what has you so upset.” He tried not to beg, but he was growing desperate to find some footing in this conversation and see where exactly he was making the mistake so he could fix it.
The answer that followed hit Sokka like a hard slap across his face and stole the very breath from his lungs as Zuko choked out the words. “She committed suicide because of me!”
Sokka had no idea what to say. He had to have misheard him. His Fire Nation was good but he wasn’t all that fluent the way Lady Ezra was, so maybe he got that wrong. “What?” His voice sounded hollow as he tried to grapple with this.
Zuko’s fingers curled tightly into Sokka’s shirt as he squeezed his eyes shut and let another hard gasp and a chest rattling sob shake him to his core as he forced the words out in little coughs and gasps, growing more quiet. “She killed herself because of me. It’s all my fault, Sokka.”
He sniffled and gasped, drawing in a deep breath as he tried to compose himself, scrubbing tears away with the back of one trembling hand. “I’ll never-uh get to see her ah-again.”
“It’s not your fault, Zuko.” He tried to comfort the man but he felt unstable at the moment as he considered what exactly that meant for him. He remembered Kela mentioning that Zuko got bad news about a family member before the Chiefs’ arrived. Was this the news he received about his family? His mother’s self-inflicted death. Who could have told him about it? Perhaps one of the other Fire Nation citizens that lived among the tribe, but he doubted it was Lady Ezra. She still kept in contact with at least one relative but she would know better than to bring something that distressing to the prince given the state he was in, and the only other Fire Nation citizen he spoke to at the time was….Shin. Shin wasn’t the most tactful touch and he didn’t know just what news like that would do to the soldier so the delivery may have been less than pleasant.
Sokka couldn’t ignore the fire that ignited in his veins, surging anger towards the man, but it was only dwarfed almost immediately at the realization that this event must have been recent and if Zuko blamed himself for the death-
His worst fears were confirmed as Zuko coughed through a rebuttal at Sokka’s declaration. “She did it after my birthday because she thought I was dead.” His tearful golden eyes turned towards Sokka with so much grief held in them as the tribesman’s arms tightened their hold around the soldier.
“Zuko, it’s not your fault.” Sokka reaffirmed. ‘Because it’s mine.’ The last part was left unspoken but heavily implied as he let it fill the suffering silence that stretched between them as the man collapsed against his chest and proceeded to soak the front of the warrior’s shirt with his sorrows.
If Sokka had never taken Zuko, if he had let him go in that port when he had the chance, then the prince would have returned home safe and sound. He would still have a mother, alive and loving, waiting for him. They would still have the trade agreement with the Earth Kingdom and the assumption would be that the Prince had simply outsmarted them during the attack and slipped away. If Sokka hadn’t been so selfish, maybe a lot of things could have been different, but he chose this path and everyone got hurt in the process. But Zuko was hurt the most in all of this. He lost his mother. He lost one of the few people in this world who actually cared about him. Not only that, but now Zuko would be forced to live with this knowledge, that he lived and his mother did not. He would blame himself when the person he should actually be blaming was right in front of him. Perhaps he will resent Sokka when he was lucid enough to make heads or tails of this whole mess, and Sokka couldn’t fault him for that. He would have every right to do so.
He had no words of wisdom or comfort left to offer as the knowledge of his actions turned every good intention bitter and remorseful. The guilt gnawed at his mind as all he could do was hold the soldier and let him work through it on his own. It was all he could offer and he hated himself for that very fact. He was falling short of his promises, and all he could do was feel so terribly numb in the face of it all.
“I’m sorry.” Sokka murmured into the crown of the soldier’s hair and smoothed a hand along his back. “I’m so sorry, Zuko.”
They sat there in an uncomfortable silence for so terribly long, the quiet of the room only interrupted by the soft sounds of Zuko’s unsettled breathing and tiny smothered hiccups, and the louder boisterous activities that occasionally leaked in from beyond the closed doors in the main hall. Zuko’s head was pressed firmly against Sokka’s shoulder as strong arms held him and cradled him, rocking them both back and forth in small teetering motions to comfort the other man as he mimicked the same easy bobbing Zuko had exhibited in the past. It seemed to work, if only a little as the soldier closed his eyes and relaxed his tightly wound hold on the warrior’s shirt front. It was tear stained and wrinkled from the smaller man’s upset, but Sokka didn’t mind the cold discomfort of cooling dampness in his shirt.
Opting for a distraction that would shake the weighty presence from the room, Sokka rumbled out a question. “Did I ever tell you the story behind why Meriwa calls me Sock-boy?” Zuko gave a small shake of his head in answer and lifted his gaze just enough so one good golden eye was watching Sokka.
“Would you like to hear it?” He inquired gently.
There was no hesitation in Zuko’s response as he nodded, desperate for the offered reprieve for whatever was currently lurking in his thoughts with the distressing topic. Sokka smiled down at him as he smoothed a palm through the soldier’s hair to card the damp locks out of his face and away from his forehead.
“I was probably a little bit older than Lukka, just by a couple years, when this happened.” He started, letting the roll of his accent slip into his words as he settled into the easier pace of storytelling that came so naturally for him. “For some reason, I thought that if furniture had legs then they clearly must have feet, and if they have feet then their feet must get cold in the winter just like mine did.” This was possibly one of the most embarrassing stories of his childhood but Sokka was relieved to see Zuko’s attention perk up at the distraction as he laid out the foundations of his childish logic.
“Dad and Gran Gran didn’t really see much of a problem with this, and the rest of my family was only amused when I applied this logic by putting socks on all the table legs and chair legs around our home.” He tilted his head back and sighed at the trickle of warmth that flushed his cheeks as he recalled those days. Back when his mom was still alive. She was puzzled at the very least and tried to convince him that the furniture didn’t need socks to warm them, that they didn’t feel cold like we did. Dad had laughed and humored him regardless of mom’s worries. Katara would just sneak him more socks to put on more furniture and help him with his mischief by playing decoy or look out.
“One day I got the brilliant idea that my work was far from complete when I saw the gulls coming in and out of the Gull House. It took a week of effort, but I eventually managed to steal some of dad’s bigger socks and snuck my way into the gull house to attempt to give the birds warm socks for their cold feet.” Zuko’s golden eyes widened, red and agitated from his earlier upset but enticed into total concentration as he listened dutifully to the story. Their warm inquisitive gaze were directed at Sokka as he straightened up a little more, but not enough to shake off the comforting embrace he was wrapped up in. If anything, he twisted around enough to better curl around Sokka’s stocky frame with his knees partially tucked close and his torso flush against the warrior’s chest.
“Meriwa had come in and found me sitting on the floor with my pockets full of socks and one very angry bird squawking at me for disturbing it. I will admit, I was probably crying. It had a really big beak and it was really mean.” Sokka recalled with a grimace. “Meriwa scruffed me faster than a snow leopard caribou to its misbehaving cub and carried me off, socks and all, back to dad who was in a meeting with the elders in the longhouse at the time.”
Zuko’s shoulders hunched in a look that implied sympathy as he dropped his gaze and looked pensive for several seconds. His honey eyes searched his hands as he fidgeted as if they were hiding the words he was trying to form in a response. Sokka was quiet and patient, waiting for the soldier to find his footing before he finally spoke up.
“Was your dad mad?” It was a quiet croak in the soldier’s throat but Sokka only smiled reassuringly.
“He was a little disappointed in me. Especially since the socks I was using I had taken from his chest without permission. Mostly he was concerned about the fact I could have been seriously hurt by the Gulls.” Sokka explained gently, tracing his fingers along Zuko’s spine absently in thought. “What I did was stupid but I was just a child and I had my own logic that made sense to me at the time. Afterwards, I was kind of terrified of the Gull House until I got old enough to realize I was bigger than the birds and they couldn’t hurt me.”
Zuko nodded his quiet understanding as he considered his own thoughts on the matter. After a minute, he finally added his own thoughts. “Chief Hakoda kind of reminds me of my Uncle. He’s a good man and he cares a lot. He never got mad at me, no matter what mistakes I made but in a way that hurt more because I knew I was disappointing him instead.” He gave an absent shrug and fidgeted with his hands as he interlocked his fingers and twisted their positions around and dug his nails into the edges of his nail beds in nervous gestures. “He always felt like a real father to me, even after….” His voice caught in his throat as he fell suddenly silent.
“It’s okay Zuko.” Sokka murmured to the soldier as he pressed his lips to his brow to comfort him. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. In fact, you don’t have to talk at all if you don’t want to.” There was a quiet awkward nod of his head as he tipped it in a nod and resumed their oddly cuddled position with limbs interwoven together in a strangely comfortable tangle.
“You know I love you.” Sokka reminded him gently as he pressed his lips against Zuko’s good ear. He felt the tension melting away in the soldier’s limbs as he conceded against Sokka’s embrace as if melting into a puddle of overall acceptance. Whatever internal conflict he had been warring with himself had been overthrown as the soldier’s lips pressed against Sokka’s neck and silently mouthed an unspoken ‘I know.’
Sokka didn’t know how long they ended up sitting there for, but Zuko was starting to sag heavily against his chest as his head drooped with the emotional and physical exhaustion that this episode had caused. The room wasn’t as warm as either of them would have liked, and having the doors closed had separated them from the heat of the rest of the longhouse, causing the soldier to shiver against Sokka’s side.
“What do you say we head back out where it's warmer and take a nap?” Sokka offered, giving Zuko a little shake to jar him from whatever drowsiness was setting in. The soldier grunted his affirmation and made a clumsy attempt to collect himself only to end up snuggling closer to Sokka with a weary sigh. Sokka chuckled and gave Zuko’s forehead an affectionate peck before shifting his weight off of his lap so he could stretch his legs and get a little feeling back into his ass and thighs. Zuko grumbled his displeasure and scrubbed his palms against his face before the tired pout was shot in the warrior’s direction, sharing his overall disapproval as he hunkered down with his arms tucked around himself as he shivered again.
Sokka laughed softly and gave him an apologetic smile once they were both on their feet and he could tuck Zuko back against his side and lead him out the door. The room had busied itself with various other interests and only a small handful of people seemed to notice their exit from the council chamber. Zuko looked ragged and weary as Sokka steered him towards their little corner where Katara had been sitting and repairing a damaged shirt with her sewing kit.
She tore her eyes away as Zuko plopped down onto his own bedding followed by a creaky groan from Sokka as he shivered a little with the rush of warmth that struck him with the crowded room and busy people. It was a lot more comfortable out here, and Zuko appeared to share the sentiment as he made hasty progress in climbing under his blankets to get huddled down where it was cozier. Sokka mimicked the motion, ignoring Katara’s questioning glances as he dragged Zuko up against his side and pulled another blanket over top of the both of them. Sokka’s goal wasn’t sleep, but just warming up and chasing off the chill that had set in bit by bit in the closed off room, and having the perfect excuse to cuddle his fire ferret in the process.
Sleep certainly was not the goal, but Sokka ended up dozing off regardless with the idle din of the lively room creating a familiar background noise for his exhausted mind. When he roused from the depths of his nap, he was surprised to find his fire ferret was missing. Several panicked minutes of searching from an alarmed seated position led to him finding Zuko sitting with Pana and a dozen other young women in a knitting circle as he held the colorful yarn as they worked so it didn't tangle. Seated in his lap was young Lukka who's tiny hands played with one of Zuko's as he babbled away in Fire Nation about everything under the sun.
The soldier had a smile on his face and he looked a bit more like his old self as he listened, turning his good ear towards the boy as he humored his questions with feigned ignorance or confusion. Sometimes it held a genuine note to it as the small boy tried to explain what something was like with his limited experiences but eventually Zuko understood and would hum in agreement.
A few of the women were making socks and scarves using the dyed buffalo yak's wool as Zuko turned his attention towards something one of Pana's girls was showing him. The soldier's good eye widened in surprise before a smile spread and understanding clicked. She passed the tools over to the man and directed him on how to work the yarn into loops using the hooks. As Sokka approached the little circle with a curious scan, he saw the way Zuko's hands worked with a bit more steadiness than they had these past few days. His good eye was focused as he concentrated on the task attempting to weave tight loops with every stroke. Sometimes Pana or one of the other girls would need to correct it, but overall he was doing decent work for a beginner as he worked on making what appeared to be a scarf.
The color he was weaving was a bright red as he worked diligently on his task. Pana lifted her eyes from inspecting Zuko's work to smile warmly at the tribesman as he mouthed. 'Thank you' to her. She gave a curt nod in approval before she resumed her own work. Conversation bounced around the group, much of it stirred by Lukka's curious questions and telling stories about things his Daddy told him.
All the while the little boy sat comfortably perched in Zuko's lap. The soldier's arms were relaxed around his small figure as he adjusted the posture to work on his project with the ease of someone accustomed to small child shaped obstacles.
Soothed that the soldier seemed to be feeling better and was in good hands, Sokka made his rounds about the longhouse until he found his dad and Gran Gran on the other side near Humpy's corner. Bato was dutifully tending to his camel while the three of them talked in their native tongue about the idle gossip that was currently circulating the room and their worries about the storm. The warrior easily slotted into the group as he plopped down to take a seat on the same stool Zuko had used earlier, and smothered a yawn.
"The storm should die down in the next day or so." Bato had said as Sokka settled his protesting bones with a tired sigh. He wasn't looking forward to all the shoveling they'd have to do when this was all over. He wondered if there was some way they could speed this process up somehow. Like attach a giant shovel to Humpy's saddle and have him clear the paths.
Actually now that he thought on it, he might be able to swing the idea. Rising back to his feet, he stretched his arms over his head as his father made a tired comment. "We have a lot of work ahead of us when it does."
"I can fix that." Sokka grunted as he flexed his shoulders to loosen up the tightness that sleeping on the floor had caused these last two days.
His family turned their attention towards him, a skeptical brow raised by Bato as he asked. "How do you intend to do that?" The humor in his voice spread as he inspected the bed rumpled appearance of the warrior. He chimed back pleasantly with a grin.
"I'll need to borrow Humpy and the key to the store room. I need tools, rope and to take apart a few of those crates for lumber."
His dad gave him a puzzled look before smirking when he caught the look in Sokka's eyes, and the telltale gleam of a scheme being cobbled together. "What's your big plan, Sokka?" The excitement in his dad's voice was mirrored by Gran Gran's curious smile as she passed the keys to the main store room in the longhouse over to her grandson.
"I'm going to build a camel powered snow shovel." He grinned.
Bato groaned. "That sounds ridiculous."
His dad snickered. "Maybe a new name will suffice after we get it built, but I'm eager to see if this works."
Bato snorted as he ushered him and Hakoda onwards. "Fine, let's see what we can do then. But I'm withholding my opinion on all of this until I see the end result."
"Expect to be amazed then Bato." Sokka chuckled as he made a direct line for the store room, easing along the edges of the longhouse around the clusters of people until they reached the door they were aiming for.
Notes:
Sorry this took so long. I've been rotating between working on 8 different Atla fics, some already posted and some that have yet to be. One of which is a 2 part Vampire smut AU with Sokka/Zuko as the main attraction with side Bato/Hakoda/Jee that's sort of inspired off of Chained. So expect to see that in the next couple days. I'll be posting both parts at the same time.
Thank you all for the support and kind comments so far. This fic is steadily chugging along towards its end but there is still a lot between and the finish line, so enjoy this fluffy slow burn reprieve for a little while before we get back to the chaotic plot pertinent rollercoaster I have planned. (This is as much a break for me as it is for you all)
Thank you again!! ♡♡
Chapter 42
Summary:
Sokka makes his camel powered snow shovel
Zuko tells a story
Lukka is adorable
The day is good.
Notes:
THANK YOU SO MUCH COMICALLY MISCHIEVOUS FOR THIS WONDERFUL ART OF LAST CHAPTER!!! ♡♡♡
https://comically-mischievous.tumblr.com/post/675368506795114496/i-declare-this-i-am-done-fucking-with-it-so-i
Yall please go give them lots of love. Their art is so good. I've probably stared at this piece longer than is strictly healthy just adoring all the little details and how good it is. I'm in awe. Thank you so so much!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It had been years since the wolf tribe was forced to gather in the longhouse like this to weather a storm, back when Kya was still a spark in the crowd working beside her with Katara resting on her hip. Kanna could still hear the ghost of her laughter as she joined the other women and watched Hakoda, bright young Hakoda, newly appointed chief, managing the tribe during this troubling time for the first time. Kanna remembered the days when Sokka was still small and determined to follow his father every step of the way, and dutifully caring for his little sister as they marched about hand in hand as she toddled by his side and looked adoringly up at the adults in their tribe.
So much time has passed since then, Katara was a young woman now, soon to be betrothed to the young nomad if the looks they shared with one another were any tell as to where their feelings were headed. Sokka no longer stood in his father’s shadow, matching him step for step, but rose up on his own to bear his own burdens, to make his own choices, with the potential to become a wise and patient leader for their tribe. His ingenuity shined through as she watched him wander off, leading a few of the men, including her own son, off to accomplish a seemingly impossible task.
With so much love and loss in her heart, her attention turned towards the young man who mirrored her pain as he sat among the women learning to knit a scarf for the first time. She did not miss the quiet agony that had been in his eyes when he was scurried off by Pana, or the red eyed gaze that followed him after he and Sokka vacated the council chamber. Little Lukka had overheard Li’s distress and approached him after his nap, to inquire whether or not the man was alright.
His naivety and innocence was a soothing balm of concern for the soldier as he nodded and reassured Lukka that he was only feeling a little sad.
“I miss my mom.” He admitted to the small child, his voice wavering only a little. “She’s gone to the spirit world so I can’t see her anymore.”
Lukka’s little fingers groped at Li’s arm as he reached out to guide himself towards the soldier. Li didn’t mind the physical contact as he helped the young boy settle easily into his lap, tiny arms wrapped around his neck as he proclaimed easily in Fire Nation. “You can borrow my mommy if you like. She is really nice and makes good cookies.”
The softened expression on Li’s face was enough to break even the coldest heart as he scrubbed a tear from his cheek and sniffled softly, folding the young boy into his arms as he spoke quietly. “I appreciate that, Lukka. Thank you.”
Pana and her daughters smiled warmly at the two boys as they invited Li to help them with their work. At first he simply sorted the yarn and colors, or held them out for the women to keep them from getting tangled. A tedious task often used to keep children busy and close by, but Li seemed content to sit still with Lukka occupying his lap and babbling off stories about his Papa and his Mama.
"You could borrow my Daddy too if you want but he kind of smells funny sometimes. Like fish!" Lukka rambled off. "He spends a lot of time with fish, Mama says but I don't get why fish smell so weird. Do you like fish?"
"I do like fish." Li agreed with a hum. "My Uncle had taken me fishing a few times when I was younger. Me and my cousin had decided we would jump into the water and have a race to see who could reach shore the fastest. We were both very good swimmers and the water was very warm."
"Did you win the race?"
"I did." Li nodded his head and smiled broadly, shedding his earlier grief. "My cousin swears he would have won but he got a jellyfish trapped in his shorts while he was swimming. It was very funny." He snickered. A few of the women shared amused smiles at the story and continued their knitting.
"What is a jellyfish?" Lukka asked.
"A small blob looking ocean animal with long tentacles like an octopus but they sting when you touch them." He nodded quietly to himself as if in confirmation as he proceeded. "He got stung once in a very….how do I put it?"
He appeared a little conflicted on how to continue as he worked the words around and tried again. "In a very manly place?"
Lukka gasped in shock as he bounced in Li's lap and blurted. "It stung his weewee?!" The sudden dead silence of the room was not missed by the circle as Pana and Kanna both went stone still at sweet little Lukka's lack of volume control. The amount of heads that turned at his declaration soon erupted into a raucous of amused laughter and snickering as Li's face turned bright red.
Kanna smiled warmly at the young man as he shot her a flustered sheepish look that quickly evolved into something apologetic and awkward. "Uh...yeah."
Lukka's face scrunched up as the boy seemed to be trying to imagine what exactly that would be like. It resulted in him crossing his legs and making an expression that might have been sympathetic pain or constipation. It caused the circle of women around them to start laughing even more and Li made a similar sound as he smiled. The curve of his mouth was twisted a little by the scar on the left side of his face making the gesture appear almost painful to express but it didn't seem to bother the soldier any.
The idle chatter resumed as they each took turns teaching Li how to make a scarf. The soldier was quick to catch on but his hand eye coordination was a touch questionable as he struggled at times to make loops set right or he'd get confused and mixed up. It was usually a quick fix from one of the others to set it right before resuming their own work.
Maybe half an hour passed and Lukka had fallen asleep against the soldier's chest as he worked the knitting hooks in his hands a little longer before giving it a break. He wrapped his arms around the boy and held him gently against his chest ensuring his head was perched carefully on his shoulder and hummed quietly. "Reminds me of my little sister."
"You have a little sister, Li?" Pana inquired curiously. "How old is she?"
"Twenty-two I believe." He frowned to himself in thought before he sighed. "I missed a lot of birthdays over the years."
"The war?"
"Yeah." He nodded solemnly as Kanna observed the sedated calm that settled over him. "When she was little just like Lukka, she'd climb in bed with me and ask me to tell her a story. Her favorite was the story of a dragon princess who ruled a volcano. She would ask me to tell it to her all the time even though mother was better at telling it than I was." He wrinkled his nose at that thought as he admitted. "She could actually do the funny voices like Sokka."
“Your sister must really look up to you.” Kanna smiled warmly at the soldier, though the thought only seemed to make him sad. There was a heavy weight there and she could see the way it leveled upon his shoulders. Knowing what she did now of the man, she understood those feelings, conflicted and grieving as they were, with loss in so many ways. Whether it be in death, lost time or missed opportunities, it was hard to see the brighter side through it all and continue with an upbeat hopeful attitude. “You could always write to her, you know.”
His brows pinched in concentration as he considered the idea then shook his head slowly. “I wish I could but it would only upset things more. It’s better this way. For now.”
She sighed and shared a sagely nod. “I understand, Li.”
The peace and quiet didn’t exactly last long after that as a raucous began with her grandson at the heart of it as hammers pounded into wood and the sound racketed through the longhouse from the storeroom. Li jerked in place as his head turned in alarm with both eyes going far larger than she had ever seen them before. Lukka squirmed in the soldier’s lap, startled from his nap with a grouchy huff and a grumble. Li continued to hold the squirming boy as he maneuvered his way to his feet and started towards the storeroom with a curious tilt of his head.
Conceding to her own aged curiosity, she rose on stiff legs and groaning joints to follow after him, shuffling along at Li’s side as she let a hand rest on the soldier’s arm so he didn’t go too far ahead of her as the crowd of curious onlookers seemed to grow at the entrance. Most of it were children and men as they peered through the cracked open doors to snoop. A hand waved them off as Kodiak left the room and nearly ran into Li. He took one look at his son’s grumpy expression as he scrubbed his eyes with his hands and made an indignant sound at the rude awakening.
“Awww, sleepy little cub. Did we wake you?” The older man held his hands out to his son which Li gratefully passed the child off to his Papa when Lukka’s fingers searched the air at the sound of his Papa’s voice. “Let’s go find mama.”
Freed of his burden, Li found no problem in squirming through the tight knit crowd as he pressed in to inspect what exactly was going on.
It was noisy. The loud hammers and banging were rude in their volume and the closer he got to the oddly placed room, he suspected the culprit of such intrusive sounds had to be a certain platypus bear. It felt strangely in line with Sokka’s antics as he slipped between tall warriors and sailors alike, recognizing a few of the faces as he passed as a few of the men from Hakoda’s crew. He didn’t stop to chat as he pushed into the room and found the stacks of crates and boxes had been moved about into haphazard stacks and created a large enough open space in the center for a few deconstructed crates to be cobbled together in an awkward wedge pattern. There was a flat lip underneath where the wedge sat upon it that looked very big and-
“What is that?” Zuko blurted as curiosity overwhelmed him. Sokka was kneeling beside the wedge shaped object as he held the boards together and directed Bato and Tonuk on where to drive their nails in. On the opposite side, Hakoda was bracing the same frame to keep it steady with Kela’s assistance in securing pieces in place. It was quick and efficient with all the hammers in use but that didn’t explain why exactly they were tearing crates apart for this purpose.
“A camel powered snow shovel.” Sokka announced proudly as if that made any more sense to the soldier. Adjusting his hands to move them along the frame so Tonuk could nail in the planks just right and avoid catching Sokka’s fingers in the process, he smiled broadly at the prince and beckoned him into the room with a bob of his head. “It’s for Humpy to pull behind him. Remember when we went hunting for the yak and how we had to drag it back to the village?”
Zuko gave a short bob of confirmation as he plopped down to sit beside Sokka on the floor where the warrior was kneeling and watched them all work. He covered one ear with his hand when the hammering started to get too loud and sharp, but in the breaks, he could lower it and listen to what his platypus bear had to say.
“It’ll be something like that.” Sokka corrected, when the banging had stopped long enough for him to add in his explanation. With the nails in place keeping the pieces together, he was able to leave the rest of the men to finish their work. Bato traded the hammer with Hakoda as Sokka waved him towards the doors. “We need to saddle Humpy up to give it a test run.”
Holding his hands out to the soldier, he pulled Zuko back up to his feet when he accepted the offered assistance and tucked him firmly against his side as they navigated the parted crowd that had gathered around the entrance. Humpy didn’t look very happy with all the noise, and neither did a few of the babies in the rest of the longhouse as they cried and wailed in the arms of their mothers. Sokka cringed. “Whoops. I didn’t expect the hammering to be so loud.”
“Thin walls.” Zuko hummed with a bob of his head. “So Humpy is gonna shovel snow?” The soldier asked as he tipped his head to lean against Sokka’s shoulder as they skirted the edges of the longhouse walls to avoid bumping into the gathered people or walking through their bedded down areas. Their clumsy footsteps sounded noisy to the prince when they finally reached the stable area end where the aforementioned camel was giving them his most judgmental look.
“That’s the idea, yes.” Sokka agreed as he led Zuko to take a seat on the small stool beside the camel and proceeded to dig out the camel’s saddle from earlier. “Ready to do some work and stretch your legs Humpy?”
Humpy made an unamused grunt at the warrior as he curled his lips back. Sokka raised his brow at the camel and shook his head. “Ya know, you don’t smell any better either, bud.” He stepped around to the camel’s side and held the saddle out. “Can I saddle you up today?”
There was a shake of the camel’s head as his ears flopped about in the motion. “Please Humpy?” Zuko pleaded as he pushed himself up to his feet and gave his muzzle an affectionate pat. The camel grunted in greeting and pressed into his palm. After a moment, he lowered himself to the ground so he was kneeling before the two men. “Thank you Humpy.” Zuko hummed as he wrapped his arms around the camel’s neck and buried his fingers into the long pale fur. “You’re a good friend.”
Sokka made an amused chuckle as he started setting the saddle up on the camel and strapping it in place. He worked diligently to prepare it as Zuko pet Humpy along his neck, muzzle and under his chin. The camel lazily chewed his cud as he waited for Sokka to finish what he was doing. Giving Humpy a firm pat of approval, he urged him up to his hooves.
“Good job bud.” He cheered as he moved to place the reins on him. Zuko straightened up as he stood beside Sokka, letting their arms bump together when he finished and inspected his handiwork. “It’s going to be a cold one out there.”
“Are you riding Humpy?” Zuko wondered.
Sokka shook his head. “Bato will, I’ll be walking beside him though to make sure the snow shovel works and isn’t causing any problems with Humpy.”
“Can I come with you?” Zuko perked up at that. “I could help.”
Sokka looked uncertain as he inspected the soldier and crooked his jaw thoughtfully. “Well…..” He looked around the room and scratched at the short hairs of his beard along his chin. “Maybe next time, my fiery little ferret. I think it might be too cold for you right now. The storm hasn’t died down just yet.”
He assumed that was a fair assessment but it didn’t stop the quiet pout that Zuko directed at Sokka as he carded his fingers through Humpy’s thick coat and frowned at the warrior. Sokka stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Zuko’s shoulders to pull him flush against his chest. His lips pressed a gentle kiss to his brow when Zuko lifted his head with that same old look of disapproval. “How about…” Sokka started, his voice rumbling low for the soldier as he teased a thought through the air. “While I’m out there freezing my tits off in the cold, you wait for me to come back, and when I do, we can cuddle a little to warm up and I’ll read you more of the theater scroll.”
That did sound really nice, Zuko supposed. He hummed quietly and let his head rest against Sokka’s chest as he sighed. “Fine. I guess I could stay here.” He didn’t sound all that enthused which was accurate when he wanted to go out with Sokka and see his invention work the way he intended it to. It was unique and special and he hoped it succeeded for whatever its intention was. He admired Sokka’s creativity like this but saw it so rarely in moments where it could shine.
"I'm sorry buddy, but I don't want to risk worsening things with this bad weather already making you feel like crap." Sokka lamented as he gave Zuko another strong hug. "I promise I'll be quick about it."
Zuko huffed but gave a jerky nod. "I understand." Which he did, but that didn't silence his stubborn eagerness to risk his health just to see. Still, he relented and let Sokka lead him back to their sleeping arrangements where he would be far away from the cold draft when the main doors opened and closed. When Zuko was situated in his spot with a bundle of blankets piled on him for good measure, Sokka went to check on his invention's progress.
A few minutes later, the door opened as three people helped carry it to the main doors that led outside, and Bato had gone to get Humpy ready for the test run. The tribesmen cleared the way as the ornery camel trudged through to the doors where both Sokka and Hakoda were bundled up in their heavier cold gear, waiting with ropes and the strange shovel thing. Zuko's last glimpse of them was Sokka carrying the shovel out the door with his dad's help, before the heavy wood banged shut beneath the influence of the unrelenting wind.
The wind howled and the snow was a lot deeper than Sokka expected. For a minute, he worried that the camel powered snow shovel wouldn't work given its seemingly inadequate size as they fastened the ropes to the back of the saddle and fixed them to the anchors Sokka nailed down last minute. Bato was up on Humpy's back as he guided the camel along at a slow pace. Sokka and his dad walked behind as they observed the process.
Right from the start, he noticed a problem as the camel snow shovel kept rising to the top of the snow. "It's not heavy enough." He realized belatedly and gestured for Bato to halt. Hakoda examined the problem at his side as they fidgeted with the giant snow shovel a bit.
"We could try to put weights in it." He offered.
Sokka frowned. "My original plan called for the entire construction being made of metal so the weight issue wasn't present." Had admitted then sighed.
"You want to call it a day for now?" His dad asked but Sokka examined Humpy then the snow shovel wedge and smirked.
"Nah, hand me another rope. I have an idea." Hakoda was confused by that demand but obliged his son's request. Sokka promptly tied the third rope to Humpy's saddle and tied a loop in the end in his hand to grip with his gloves. Planting his boots firmly on the corners of the camel snow shovel, he whistled at the camel and Bato to give it a go now.
"What the-" Hakoda's words were cut off as Humpy lunged forward and the contraption lurched before sinking down to ground level. The snow was spread aside as the wedge shape cut through the whiteout landscape and he held on to the rope to keep his balance up. He was a little too worried about falling to look behind him to see how well it was working as Humpy picked up pace to a steady trot. Sokka bent his knees a little to cement his stance as the camel turned on the path between houses before following the predetermined route looping back around to the longhouse.
He couldn't hide the grin on his face as they briskly approached the longhouse where his dad was staring at him with a bewildered smile and shaking his head. Humpy slowed and the snow shovel slid to a stop, gently bumping the back of his legs from the momentum.
"I think I solved our weight problem." Sokka cheered, a little breathless and shaky as he stepped off the camel snow shovel and smirked. "That was fun."
"Looks like it worked out well." Bato gestured past the camel as he dismounted and they inspected the cleared path. It was a little bigger than the ones they normally carved out through the village thanks to the wide build of the camel snow shovel, and it even took curves pretty well. "All in all, I'd say it was a success."
That only fueled that excited beat of his racing heart as it jumped in his chest with a thrill that bled down into his bones. He grinned as his dad's hand landed firmly on his shoulder to drag him into a half hug. "I'm proud of you Sokka. You did good."
"Thanks dad." He cheered.
"What do you say we head back inside before we freeze?" Hakoda offered through his unwavering grin. "You're probably eager to tell everyone how it turned out."
"I am." Sokka agreed before straightening up and giving Humpy a studious scan. "But it's not a successful experiment unless it's been tested numerous times." He held the rope loop out to his dad. "We should probably test it again, for scientific reasons."
Hakoda held his hand up to brush the rope off but Bato was already climbing back in the saddle as he barked out. "Mount up Koda. Let's go for another ride."
"Oh no, I'm not riding on that with Humpy."
"Come on dad, it'll be fun!"
"I don't think Humpy would agree." But Hakoda's protests fell on deaf ears as he was shoved forward by his son and directed on how to plant his feet, set his knees and hold on tight to the rope.
"Don't forget to lean with it on the curves." Sokka supplied as he gave Humpy the whistle. His dad's grumbles turned to alarmed curses as the camel started to move. He jerked in place before straightening up and correcting his posture like Sokka had instructed. The warrior laughed, folding his arms over his chest as he watched Bato pick up the pace on purpose and he could hear Hakoda's brief panic at the change over the wind and snow.
It took maybe fifteen minutes at most for Humpy to make the lap though Sokka noted they went a slightly different route this time before the camel returned to the longhouse just as the evening sun was starting to hang below the horizon. His dad was shaken up a little but the look on his face was enough proof that he enjoyed himself for Sokka's approval. Exchanging positions, Sokka took a turn riding Humpy while Bato got to give the camel snow shovel a go, clearly for proving the scientific hypothesis true. It was all very serious business, he assured himself mentally while grinning and sending Humpy to an easy stride at Bato's urging.
The camel snow shovel was a success but none of the excitement and praise could amount to the relief he felt when he curled up with his fiery little ferret and teasingly spread cold fingers along his lower back. Zuko let out a shrill squeaky noise of alarm when Sokka's hands brushed up under his clothes to target bare skin. The soldier gave him a look that was utterly betrayed by this act of harassment as he shivered and smacked the flat of his palm against Sokka's chest. Sokka chuckled and pressed his cold cheeks against Zuko's neck and heard the man whine underneath his snuggling.
"Cold!" Zuko yelped and squirmed under his arms. "You're cold, Sokka." He hissed between his teeth.
"It's cold outside." The warrior mumbled back as he nestled under the blankets to thaw his face and hands from the relentless nip of winter chill. "But you're warm."
He caught his ferret's little pout but it didn't last long as the soldier relaxed and gratefully snuggled closer. He lifted his hands to cup the cold sides of Sokka's face between his palms and attempted to help him warm up more that way.
"You're supposed to be the warm one, Sokka." He admonished. Sokka noticed that the medicine must still be going strong in the man's system making him a little more loose lipped than normal as he added the affectionate beratement. "Silly Sokka."
A breathy chuckle alighted the air between them as Sokka amused himself at the sound of such a childish chiding and smiled. "Such a fierce little fire ferret."
"I'm not that little." Zuko huffed indignantly.
Sokka raised an incredulous brow at that declaration but the soldier was unwavering in his stance as he eyed him back. "Hmm, that is something to possibly be explored later." His lips drew back into a smirk when Zuko's face colored a soft pink then bled into a scarlet as he groaned and buried his head against Sokka's chest.
"You're mean."
"Perhaps." Sokka hummed. "But you enjoy it."
The muffled sound from the soldier was enough of an admission for Sokka's approval as he rumbled out a deep laugh. They laid there for a while as Sokka massaged his hands up under Zuko’s shirt and trailed his now warm fingers along his spine and felt the soldier shiver when they traced the edges of the old whip scars. He paused when his ferret squirmed and asked.
“Does that bother you?”
Zuko made a quiet noise in his throat then shook his head. “No.”
“You sure? I can stop if you don’t like it.”
The soldier lifted his head so Sokka could see the bright gold of his eye as he nuzzled into the warrior’s jaw. “I like it.” He assured him. Sokka nodded, feeling the hairs of his beard scratch a little across the soldier’s cheek in the process. Zuko didn’t seem to be bothered by that sensation either as he lifted his fingers to trail along Sokka’s jaw as his own hands resumed their movements tracing the raised bumps and lines of smooth distorted skin along his back.
“Good.” Sokka rumbled low as he sighed. “If you ever want me to stop, just tell me.” Zuko hummed as he squirmed a little closer then settled against Sokka’s chest.
The longhouse was an idle presence of movement and low conversations that reminded Sokka of the encampment and time on the ship. All he was missing was the steady rocking motion that lulled him with ease. It took months but he was finally finding a semi comfortable sleep schedule again. At least he wasn’t as tired as he used to be at the start. Getting acclimated to life back home was strangely a lot more difficult than he anticipated it being. He had always worried that it would be the other way around. That joining the war fleet would leave him anxious and restless, that he’d fail to get any proper rest, but he fell into the steady thrum of camp life in the midst of war, staying about all hours of the night on missions and patrols, then settling in sleeping through the mornings. He supposed it helped that camp life left him little room for idleness and he had exhausted himself in the late hours until he was too tired to tell which way was up. A rigging of blasting jelly could go off and he would probably sleep through it.
That was an exaggeration of course. The one time someone shouted too loud in alarm when the ostrich horses got loose, he was on his feet prepared for an attack. He didn’t even remember putting his boots on or grabbing his war club before he stood outside his tent, barefoot, bedraggled and confused before snatching at reins of passing mounts that got spooked. The other men had laughed at his expense and teased him about it later, as he helped wrangle the ostrich horses in, then returned to his bed for a few more rare hours before he needed to report to the command tent.
Tribe life was busy, yes. He was always on the go, doing something. He rarely had time to spend relaxing until evening but Sokka found himself too restless in the quiet. He caught his mind wandering, wondering if there was going to be another ambush this week or what shortages they had to face next, or who were they going to lose on the next mission if things go wrong. He had to stop, scold himself for those thoughts because he was safe at home where these things didn’t happen. Where the war didn’t come to their shores and the only blood on the ground came when someone had a plentiful hunt or a quick shot in sparring.
He knew that Li struggled with the same problem. It appeared that neither of them really slept well unless they were together. Somehow having another person by his side told his frantic thoughts that he was safe and sound in a place where he had nothing to fear. Wrapping his arms around another body was a comfort to his frayed war battered nerves. It soothed the ache in his heart and calmed the storms that stirred in his mind.
Despite the obstacles, Sokka was grateful for Zuko’s presence. It made the long winter much more bearable than they had been these last few years. It gave him something to look forward to every day. It made his heart feel light for the first time since he was just a boy. His fierce and fiery little ferret was a gift and Sokka was content to keep him close to his heart and hold him tight.
“Supper!” Gran Gran called about, drawing the hungry masses in to collect their bowls and plates, and fill them with warm food. Bato, dad and Katara were busy helping deliver meals to the tables where mothers, children, the disabled and elderly rested. Lady Ezra had her arms full of baby Lukka, and Kodiak had finished passing out extra blankets with Ikiaq that they had found in the storeroom earlier. They had pulled them from the crates Tekkeitsertok’s crew had delivered and doled them out. Many were made by the loving hands of his wife Uki and many of the women of the Polar Bear tribe during the Summer. The intricate patterns and decorative beading were unique to their tribe’s creative signature.
Katara brought their bowls over to them as Sokka unraveled himself from their cuddling and adjusted the blankets around them so they both could sit up. He still shivered a little but he was warm for the most part. It was nothing a hot bowl of stew couldn’t fix. Zuko gratefully accepted his meal as he sidled up beside Sokka and tilted his head up at the warrior expectantly.
Sokka suspected he already knew what was coming and had anticipated reaching for his bag while he ate. He leaned to the side to grope at the strap when the soldier spoke up, causing the warrior to jolt in alarm and nearly choke on his mouthful of tender venison and winter roots.
“Did you wear your fuzzy underwear?”
Sokka coughed a little and set his bowl down so he didn’t spill it and dragged the bag into his lap as he tried to wrap his head around what Zuko just said, and not very quietly at that. “My what?”
“The fuzzy underwear I made you with the big white fluffy kitty skin we got.” He blurted. “It would keep you much warmer.”
The warrior heard choked off laughter from nearby that sounded suspiciously like Kela and Tonuk. The temptation to throw something at them was strong as he gently corrected. “You mean the sleepwear.”
“Yeah, the underwear.”
Sokka was getting the feeling either Zuko was just that out of it with the medicine, or they had two completely different definitions of what underwear and sleepwear were. “Uh…..no.” Sokka answered. “That’s for sleeping in, not wearing outside.”
Zuko frowned at that as he poked Sokka in the belly. “You could wear it right now.” He corrected, giving his belly pudge a little prod before repeating it a second time with increasing amusement.
“I left it in my room.” He admitted quietly. “Unfortunately.”
The soldier looked put off by the admission and pouted, his bottom lip jutting out in that unique way that always seemed to make Sokka feel adequately guilty for telling his ferret no. He swore, this was almost as bad as the seal puppy eyes Aang would give him when they were kids. He was far too weak to these underhanded tactics.
“I’m sorry. I was saving them for a special occasion.”
“Will you wear them for me?”
“Well, I’d call that a special occasion.” He admitted. Katara snorted and Sokka realized this was not the time or place to be having these kinds of conversations when most of his family was within hearing range of this odd negotiation about sleepwear and underwear. “You know what I just remembered, I promised to read the rest of that theater scroll during dinner. What do you say?”
That was as good of a distraction as any as he lifted his voice a touch and grinned when Zuko’s drug-addled mind switched gears like a camel in stride and swiftly pounced on the new shiny topic of interest.
“Smooth move there, big brother.” He heard Katara hiss in Water Tribe as Sokka snickered back.
“You have to help me with the fancy voices, little sister.” He cheered back in a sickly sweet voice. Then trading back to Fire Nation, he reminded. “After we finish eating.”
Zuko seemed to take that as he needed to finish eating as well, and not Sokka and Katara, but the warrior didn’t mind the haste as they turned their attention to their meal in enthusiastic silence.
Notes:
This should be the end to the Longhouse antics. Sokka made his camel powered snow shovel and may have discovered an extreme winter sport alike side it.
The camel powered snow shovel is based on old original variations if traditional horse drawn snow plows from the olden times.
Sorry for the late update. As yall have probably seen, I've been rotating between half a dozen fics or so on a regular basis and updating them as I go.
Chapter 43
Summary:
A visit back to see how the Royal Family is doing.
Chapter Text
It was a struggle to manage day after day in this place, knowing Ursa’s absence haunted these halls like a ghost, roaming the nights and calling out to him. Beckoning to him, like a shadow that reminded him of his failures and his shortcomings. She was the cold creeping whisper from the grave that found its way into his ear each night, murmuring lies and bitter truths, tangling them up until he could no longer tell them apart and was left gasping in paranoid panic, cold sweat trickling down his neck as he crawled from the wretched trap that was his bed to find solace on the balcony, a pipe in hand as that comforting burn filled every breath in his lungs.
He hasn’t slept a full night since her death. Iroh handled the body as he directed the servants and guards on their duties and summoned the Fire Sages to prepare for her funeral. He was the eldest afterall, and all Ozai had to do was be the grieving husband, too stricken by the family’s second loss now, to manage his responsibilities as prince. Azula had taken the blow far harder than he expected. She was pale and quiet, restless in brief bursts of manic energy before growing still for hours, sitting in her room and refusing to face the world beyond.
He checked on her intermittently throughout the day, pausing to knock on her door as he strained to hear her quiet stifled sobs. As far as she was aware, she’s lost her mother, her older brother, and now Azulon was resting pathetically on his deathbed, drawing all of Iroh’s attention to his side as they prepared for the inevitable. Ozai had his own pawns to put into place, arranging the board to his liking while the rest of his family was unaware. Burdened by great loss, their eyes would be clouded to the strings he was drawing to a close like a carefully woven web until his brother was left seated at the very center of the trap.
With Ursa out of the way, his pawns would sow dissent in the ranks of the savages and turn their feral anger on one another, breaking their bonds like a rusted chain and turning them back to the barbaric acts of centuries ago. Divided, they would be unaware of the messenger coming to claim his son once and for all.
He had no intention of failing now. With Zuko delivered to his rightful place among the spirits and his ancestors, comforted by the arms of his doting mother once more, he could finally rest easier. Azula will remain, Iroh will fall and father’s absence will secure his throne.
These were the sacrifices he was willing to make. These were the choices that had to be made for the sake of their country. It hurt, he will not deny that one terrible truth. It pained him in the hollow gaze of his daughter as she rolled through the motions day to day, a husk of her former self. It filled his chest with an ache as he recalled the child he once loved, and the fire that burned in his lungs with the crushing insecurities of how he might be remembered some day. He could only hope Azula will understand, if the time comes that she ever discovers what he had done. It was all for their people, every life lost, every order given, every knife delivered. It was for them, it was for her, it was for him.
Father and Iroh would never understand. They saw the world through this hazy lens as if it were all so simple, but it never was. There was deceit in every corner. Every man could be bought. Loyalty was a smokescreen that cleverly hid eventual betrayal. Well, he refused to be the pitiful fool with a blade in his back. He had to defend his position from any who might oppose. Zuko was a risk, one he had anticipated over the years as he knitted together his own ragtag bunch that were devoted to his word. He stole the life of the one man Ozai could count on, had manipulated the court, and convinced both Iroh and father to send his last remaining supporter off, then took his life when the opportunity arose. It was genius in its enginuity. It was unexpected.
It was a threat that Ozai refused to stand for, a quiet promise from his son, a warning for what he was capable of. Zuko was not one to submit easily to what was best for him, and as much as Ozai was impressed with his determination and resilience, it had quickly become a gap in his ranks that he could not allow. It was the opening Iroh would need to push back against him, and Ozai couldn’t afford that willful weakness in his defenses. Zuko has to go. If only the boy had conceded to his efforts to send him, swiftly and painlessly to the other side, but his son was not one to bow to the whims of his betters and he fought every opportunity to make this easier on himself. Well, now Ozai was going to give him exactly what he wanted. A fight to the bitter end, and he will have nobody but himself to blame for it.
He did, as he often had many nights since Zuko’s perceived death so many months ago, sat out on the balcony with a pipe in his hand. His special blend of tobacco packed into the cradle and lit as he breathed the smoke deep into his lungs and relished in the hazy cloud that settled in his thoughts and left him content. The lack of sleep was beginning to get to him, the stress of exhaustion, the guilt of Ursa’s promise and the realization that in order to obtain his goals, he had to sacrifice his dearest love, it all compounded into a bitter bundle of nerves in his stomach that left him ailing and aching. He tried the many teas and herbal remedies to try and soothe it, he sipped on ginger and chamomile, he meditated, he even burned the pungent incense and sage meant to ease his mind and offer a reprieve, and yet to no avail.
This sickness that crept across his mind, this restlessness that left his limbs heavy but his nerves frayed, this painful twisting agony that spread through his stomach were a crippling punishment, he was convinced. Ursa knew he did not hold his word. She knew and she was coming to make him regret sending those orders. She was determined to undermine him until the bitter end, until he too joined her in the spirit world. Perhaps they’d find a second chance at a peaceful life. Maybe their family could find consolation there, wounds could be mended and apologies made, or he could fall away into an endless abyss devoured by revenants of the forgotten until nothing remained. He was no fool. He understood the risks he was taking. He knew the fears he felt when his thoughts lingered in that dark place were inevitable. Ozai was no coward. He would not shy away from what needed to be done. He would suffer countless wounds upon his soul before breaking beneath these volleyed attempts to pin him down for good.
“Try your best, my dear.” Ozai purred into the night. “My resilient lovely fire lily. Your hand has been dealt, and you’ve cut me with those delicate little thorns that adorned you so, leaving me wistful in your wake. A bloody promise, a painful debt. Hear me now, Ursa, my phantom of the night, I shall not be tempted easily. You must try harder my beloved.”
His answer was the whistling wind, dancing mournfully through the gardens as the trees rattled and hushed the night to resume its silence. An unnatural stillness spread across the grounds sending shivers across his bare shoulders and coaxing him, with a few spare puffs slipping from his lips, to find sanctuary within the folds of his empty bed, and the fragile hope for one night of restful sleep.
Iroh was devastated by the state of their family. With Ursa gone and Zuko far beyond their reach with only a rare few privy to his survival, and now his father lying upon his deathbed as each raspy breath takes him slowly towards his last. Ozai had grown indifferent, drifting rapidly away from all of them since the night they lost Lady Ursa, whether it was the grief getting through to his brother's cold exterior or the painful reminder that Azula's presence caused, he found that Ozai frequently stayed within his bed chambers or his office, opting to avoid the rest of the palace like a plague. He had heard from the doctor that his brother had grown sick as of late, and Iroh was not absent enough to miss the pallor of Ozai's skin, the dark circles that clung to his eyes after so many sleepless nights or notice the concerning lack of appetite.
He was spread thin in his worries, between tending to his father, caring for Azula in the absence of his brother, and developing a plan to bring Zuko home. Unfortunately for him, he didn't have the energy to spare to fit Ozai's problems in and he wasn't so desperate as to delegate those matters to his own son. He managed well enough and multitasked by requesting Azula's help in tedious tasks to keep her mind busy and offer her a chance to help if the need arises. She was quick to accept and eager to perform it with a single minded concentration that resembled her older brother, as she threw herself into the most mundane things if only to bury her sorrows and drag on this front she seemed to feel the necessity to burden herself with just as many of the adults of her life had done.
Iroh was remorseful that he couldn't provide her with the same comforts that Lady Ursa could or that Zuko often had in his brief moments of being home shortly before his orders would come through to ship him off once again. It pained him to see his family falling apart like this. To watch a bright young woman crumble beneath the unfair expectations she was born into. To see her desperately clawing at any sort of distraction, ignoring the way her grief ate her up inside.
Her pleas for her father's comfort still rang achingly in his ears on that terribly upsetting night. Iroh was heartbroken to know that Azula was one of the first to find Lady Ursa like that. Her tearful sobs, the complete devastation it inflicted upon her was just as brutal for Iroh to pay witness to.
Ozai remained indifferent in his own way. He hid like a child, unable to properly process the outside world when the weight of denial was a bitter yet far more comforting presence to cling to. Iroh couldn't necessarily blame him, as many people, like tea, process things differently from one another. He couldn't justify judging Ozai for his choice, but it didn't excuse the fact that Azula needed her father during this horrible time in her life when everyone she loved seemed to be slipping away. She wasn't a child anymore but that didn't lessen the pain she felt or dilute her need for her remaining parent.
The doctor had finished providing Azulon with his evening medication, a tea that had been prescribed to help ease the nausea his father had been battling all day. As his father sank back into the pillows that supported his head and the frail set of his shoulders, his tired eyes struggled to remain awake at such a late hour. His father had, as he often did these days, asked for Zuko with a puzzlement as to why his grandson was missing, a question more often directed at Azula as he mistook her for a much younger Ursa.
He expected the toddling little boy, so frail and pale in his bed as he clung to bed time stories read to him with the desperate hopes of having pleasant dreams he might remember. A young boy who told adventure stories to his little sister with an enthusiasm that dared his ailments to deny him his moment, even as he fought against the painful cough to finish his tale. The boy who fought a war at a tender age and was lost to them now, who painted pictures of animalistic warriors like caricatures of the tense events around them, filling them with an idle joy and satisfaction.
Iroh tucked his father into bed and held his trembling hand as he told him one of Zuko's fondest tales. The tales of a man who through every obstacle and hardship, remained faithful that he would eventually come back home to the wife and children he loved more than anything in the world. Azulon's breathing had developed a concerning wheezy sound to it and would slow until it was almost imperceptible at a glance. Were it not for the alarming sound itself, he would have felt his heart sink in fear that his father would have passed without his knowledge.
When he was certain that Azulon was deep within his rest, Iroh carefully arranged his father's hand to rest against his chest, before slipping away into the hall. The night had grown late, basking Caldera in a cool wind that tickled at his face and whispered sweetly in his ear, begging him to take a walk in the gardens to clear his thoughts and sooth the worst of his woes. Fresh air and clear starry skies were a gift he fondly enjoyed when permitted and bowed to the whims of the wind and its nocturnal wisdom.
"You are a starlit beam for my weary wayward ship to find sanctuary in your guiding caress- no no. Shit! " Lu Ten grimaced as he crumpled the paper up in his fist and tossed it aside to join the rest of the failed attempts to send something smotheringly romantic to the woman whose beauty and brilliance was beyond the depth of his own words. He sighed, wistful and exhausted as he slaved over his desk filing paperwork for his father and grandfather until his hands ached from the constant penmanship, though when he faced the throes of inspiration and desire, his tired limbs found their second wind and his mind achieved a sort of clarity that drove every brush stroke to bleed with the feverish passion that filled his heart to bursting.
The hours had grown late and although sleep was a howling wolf at his door pawing at the frame to find purchase to pry it free and seek shelter within his mind, he found enough of a defense in these wild feelings to fend it off if only a little longer. He had written numerous letters to his beloved Yue, a woman who's size was only dwarfed by her heart, with hair as soft as the freshly fallen snow, that glistened like milky waves of moonlight pouring down her back. Her freckles like stars speckling her cheeks against the velvet blue sky, as dark and mysterious as the waves she sailed upon.
It was hard to hide his fox antelope eyes from his father, every time his mind would wander to their meeting in that shady backwater port, or all the things she's written back to him. He has traced his fingers over every stroke, memorized every word, and loved every little drip of wayward ink that splattered the margins as her hand hovered thoughtfully before proceeding. He cherished every gift of pebbles, scribbles, seashells and acorns that the children had sent him, keeping a tidy collection inside a lockbox inside his room. He had a labeled tin for each child that has sent him a letter or memento from their travels and grinned foolishly to himself while he laughed softly as he read them, letting those warm giddy feelings fuel him through each hardship in every day. They were the light, like a lighthouse beacon directing his course and keeping him safe through the rougher waters that he sailed. They were the warm winds that filled his sails and the sea birds that sang their songs alongside him.
They traveled from port to port as he mapped out their progress, anticipating the next port to send his letters to as he eagerly awaited the next. They chatted about everything and anything, sending messages which began as a once a week affair that he hid slyly from the curious glances of his father, to the far less discreet daily deliveries he would make. Her responses would return, long and fulfilling, chock full of wonderful stories both amusing and frustrating. The children would add their own thoughts at the bottom or tuck their own little letters within hers as they practiced their Earth Kingdom alphabet with sloppily written characters that stumbled unevenly across the pages, far bigger than the smaller neater scrawl of their mother's.
It pained him to consider, would these letters cease were she to know the truth? Would her thoughtful inquiries and softly drawn conclusions turn angry and accusatory if she was aware of his royal status? The postal outpost he used was quite public, as he collected his messages himself, and indulged in leisurely afternoon strolls through Caldera proper. It wasn't with ill intent, of course. He wanted her to know, he wanted her to be a part of his life, but he was also aware that she was Northern Water Tribe, and unfortunately their nations didn't have a very kind history at all.
And even if she wasn't upset by this revelation, he still feared for her safety should any of these feelings be known to his political enemies. Nobody would bat an eye if a ship of Water Tribe women and children suddenly vanished at sea, and Lu Ten didn't want to place her in that position, even if he was well aware that she was more than capable of handling herself. A fact that he was intimately aware of and very enthusiastic about.
He considered calling it for the night, and picking back up on his loving letters in the morning before the brunt of his work begins. Lu Ten hoped his heart would grow fonder and far more literate with a night of sleep to rest his mind and let these feelings stew until they reach their breaking point. It had only been a few months now, and yet, he caught himself frequently imagining their future as they toed this fragile line between friends and edged closer to something much more intimate. He wanted this to be his declaration, as honest and true as the rhythm that beats inside his chest, singing the song of his affections with a faster pace, dancing quickly about in a celebratory jig each time she lingered in his mind or found fond moments within his dreams.
He sank into his chair with a weary groan and considered the absolute mess that had become his desk when a soft knock came upon his door. His head perked at the sound, curious as to who would come calling this late at night when he called back. "Come in."
Perhaps it was his father coming to inform him of how grandfather was doing. His status was rapidly declining as of late, and they were all waiting for the final declaration. Unlike Zuko's miraculous recovery, there was no chance of cheating death when the ailment was running out of time. His candle had burned itself to the wick and found little fuel left to sustain it. With a heavy sigh, he adjusted in his seat to greet his dad with a tired smile when the door opened, to reveal not the jolly general of his childhood but the grief stricken pale face of his youngest cousin. Dried tear tracks still clung to her cheeks as she meekly entered, glancing hesitantly around as if she expected to be sent away at a moment's notice.
"Azula?" Lu Ten called softly to her, sympathetic to her pained expression when their eyes met and the timid posture as she searched for the words that failed to reach her lips. "Is everything alright?"
"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" She asked, giving an aborted gesture towards the desk and all the scattered papers that were abandoned, crumpled at his feet and across the surface. He reminded himself to burn them later in the hearth, but for now, he lacked the energy to offer the tedious task.
"No, it's quite alright. I was just…..attempting to compose an important letter to a friend." He flicked one of the papers across the worn wood and sighed. "My wit with words have failed me tonight."
"Perhaps I could be of some assistance?" She offered, the timid shell slowly slipping away as she stepped into the room and let the door shut behind her. She folded her arms around herself for comfort and peered at the neat and tidy chamber that still felt so strangely foreign to him after spending so long on his own ship in the far more cramped and cozy quarters.
He smiled, laughing softly at the thought though he pondered it quietly. "I appreciate the offer but I don't think this is a matter that can be so easily resolved."
"Oh?" The curiosity that incurred was not a comforting one when Lu Ten belatedly remembered he was not speaking to his crewmen or his father about private matters, but his young cousin who saw such declarations as a challenge in their own right. It was something Azula and Zuko both shared that led to quite the interesting and sometimes heart attack inducing stories in their youth. Before he could stop her, she plucked one of the fallen letters that had rolled furthest from his seat in his fitful dismissal of it earlier and smoothed it out to read in the dim light.
"Who is Yue?" She asked, brows pinched in puzzlement as her lips quirked, the humor growing in her gaze as her golden eyes raked over the embarrassing and unflattering attempt he made to woo the girl of his dreams. His cheeks turned scarlet, burning hotter than the feverish fire that roared in his heart this cold and quiet night, as Azula read aloud his heartfelt confessions.
"My dearest Yue, blessed be your smile like the fairest light of the moon. You race across my thoughts, unerring in your grace as you infiltrate every crevice of my mind and call to my heart with your every breath, oh how I miss you still and yearn for one more meeting-" Azula was barely holding her voice steady before bursting out into incredulous laughter. "Oh my Agni! What even is this? I hope whoever this Yue girl is, that she punches you in the gut when she sees you."
"It's not that bad!" He squawked and rose to his feet with haste to snatch the parchment from her fingers before she could expose his shame to the whole palace. She looked unamused, raising a manicured brow in his direction that dared him to uphold that defense with his own honor on the line. Ashamedly, he could not. "Okay, it's a bit bad but that's why I scrapped it!" He elaborated.
He managed to snatch the paper free from her hold and crumpled it back up into a tight ball. She darted under his arm and snatched another letter up to give it a hasty read, jerking away from his reach before he could steal it back. "Hey! Azula!" He called urgently.
"I've sailed this world a hundred times and I've yet to find a sight more beautiful than you." She made a disgusted noise as she ducked down to find another letter and continued to read.
"Wait-" Her continued attempts to duck away from his reach stalled as she stared at the paper then looked to Lu Ten with confusion. "Does she have kids?" She turned the page around for him to see which of the dozens of failed letters he had written. This was one of the earlier that had quite a few paragraphs in before it dwindled into maddening frustration as he faltered in every attempt to make these things come easier without rambling.
"She has two little girls." He answered, seizing the page in question as he stared down at it mournfully. "They're fleeing the Northern Water Tribe. Life wasn't….well, life isn't all that great everywhere in the world right now, but their lives in the North weren't good. Yue wanted to give Liuna and Atka an opportunity to live as they pleased."
"And their father?" Azula asked hesitantly.
"No longer in the picture." Lu Ten confirmed. "Yue was very specific about that detail. I have a feeling he's part of the reason they left."
"I see." Azula folded her arms in front of her chest again, less for comfort but more of a casual gesture as she considered him. "Is this just your way of cheating and convincing Uncle to approve of your relationship? She comes with instant grandchildren?"
The laugh that left his chest was louder than he anticipated but it was genuine as he smiled at her, her own soft breathy amusement filtering out as the light started to return to her eyes. A rarity he thought had been extinguished since the loss of Zuko.
"Maybe." He chuckled. "It's not a bad plan, don't you think?"
"It might work." Azula hummed in agreement. "Especially if she's as pretty as you've portrayed her to be."
"I'm afraid my words fail to amount to such a lovely brilliant woman. She's smart and funny and La-La, she can sail. " Lu Ten sighed wistfully. "And the first time we met, she kicked my ass with just a knife."
"Well, she certainly gained my approval." Azula smiled, a weak watery smile as she stepped closer, giving his shoulder a gentle punch. "Be good to her then. Or I'll kick your ass for her."
"I promise." He smirked. "After I figure out how to confess how much I like her without sounding like a lovestruck ostrich horse."
"Good luck." She teased. "I'm afraid you've got it bad, unfortunately there is no cure for this kind of stupidity. I'll be sure to send flowers to your funeral."
"I appreciate the sentiment beforehand." Lu Ten chimed warmly. "By the way, was there something you wanted?"
"Oh." She stopped and dropped her gaze to look down at the floor before giving a dismissive shrug. "It might have slipped my mind."
"I see." He tugged gently at her sleeve, reaching a hand to press along her elbow in a silent offering. She took a shaky breath and conceded to the opportunity and allowed herself to be folded into his arms. "You're more than welcome to seek me out whenever you need this, or a distraction. I'll be more than happy to oblige with both, La-La."
Her soft shuddering breaths came quickly as she buried her face into his shoulder and let the storm of emotions she'd been carefully holding at bay unravel her. He was grateful that his suspicions were correct, as they often seemed to be when managing his younger cousins and their troubles. They were quick to hide their pain, but desperate to find comfort from one another in these troubling hours when the quiet was oppressive and there was no one around to reassure them that everything will be alright. Without Zuko to be her rock and support, Ursa's absence and Ozai's indifference, he understood just how hard all of this was for Azula, and he wanted to be there for her as much as she needed him to be.
Chapter 44
Summary:
The Scouts find the braincell and cause mischief while starting to connect the dots.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The tavern was lively so late in the evening as people came and went through the smoky haze of tobacco, booze and the stale stench of too many bodies clustered together when even the night air couldn't cool the heat that clung to them with sticky determination. Sheng stared down at the half empty glass he had ordered some time ago and listened to the idle chatter of some other soldiers that had grown rowdy over a game of cards. His thoughts drifted elsewhere, wandering back to familiar terrain where they were routinely haunted like some sort of punishment despite his best efforts to silence them. His mind raced over those few terrible days as everything fell apart, and not even the comfort of those orders to come back home or the arms of his beloved Asuka could chase away the nightmares or the bone deep regret and shame he carried each and every day.
No matter how many times he rolled it over, there was nothing that could be done differently and despite knowing that for a fact, it didn’t stop him from placing the blame upon himself and running over a thousand different what if’s. He’d drive himself into the ground, revisiting his despair time and time again until he felt on the verge of madness, choking back tears as he drowned the pain behind strong drink.
There was nothing that could be done. After the Southern Tribesmen took them aboard their ship, they had been cordial enough to care for every necessity. They treated them better than any of them had expected, and it was certainly an improvement from how the Earth Kingdom soldiers had been treating them. Their wounds were cared for, Deirdre’s especially as the ship’s medic restitched the injury properly, gave him medicine and prepared a sling for his arm to rest comfortably in. They were given larger portions of food than they’d been eating for rations for weeks, and checked on repeatedly throughout the day. There was rarely a time when they weren’t being watched by one of the tribesmen, something that had increased after Kit’s first escape attempt led to him being bound with an anklet chain as well as shackles on his wrists.
Deirdre was unbound but he couldn’t do much as he was, with the grogginess of the medicine and his arm wrapped up and immobilized. Sheng tried to convince Kit to behave and the man had agreed, but then the storm hit and Pukna had rushed in to free them.
‘The ship isn’t going to survive this storm. We’re taking on water.’ A declaration that was proven by the trickling that accumulated on the floor at their feet. Sheng tried to help him free Kit but the key was stuck in the lock as they struggled to get the anklet off of him. Pukna grabbed Sheng by his shirt front and shoved him back towards the door. ‘Go! We’ll be right behind you.’
Sheng had grabbed Deirdre by his bicep and dragged him along the narrow corridor towards the steps leading up to the deck. The waves washed over the sides of the ship and collided with the central mast. It cracked in a terrifying boom as lightning arched dangerously across the sky. Tribesmen were racing about frantically trying to gather their men and make for the boats but another wave struck and sent more into the sea. Sheng and Deirdre were lucky enough to catch the rails until a second wave crashed into them and sent them to the cold churning ocean. They never saw Pukna or Kit reach the deck as the ship started to sink and another monstrous wave collided with it, driving it down faster along with every unlucky soul caught in it still.
Sheng had lost his grip on Deirdre after the third wave crashed over them. As he kicked furiously to reach the surface, desperate for air, Deirdre was nowhere in sight. He searched for several minutes, calling out to him only to be met with the roar of the sea and the angry deafening crack of thunder rolling across the sky.
It was only by sheer luck that he managed to get washed ashore by morning, but his fight didn’t end there, and neither did his confusion about everything that had happened. None of the other tribesmen seemed to know what happened to Li. Deirdre had said they were captured together but then immediately separated when a young warrior seemed to have taken an interest in him. The Earth Kingdom men who guarded them those few days in the camp were more talkative about the topic as they told a story about the young scout becoming the unfortunate meal for a wolfbat, among other equally gruesome rumors of how the young man had died.
The general consensus had been that he was gone for good, and yet, Captains’ Chen and Jee had no record of him. They refused to explain how that could even be possible and Sheng found himself questioning everything he knew about the soldier that quietly served at their sides for so long. His timid ways, his stifled amusement, and overall shyness at first. It took a month just to get the man to talk to them for the first time outside of passing along general orders, directions or reports.
When he returned home after Prince Ozai’s orders had been passed along, he, Reiki and Beni had gone immediately to pay their respects to the fallen in the pass, only to puzzle at why there were only two names cited from their scouting party. Deirdre and Kit had joined the wall of the dead, flowers were scattered at the base beneath their freshly engraved names and ranks. Sheng had personally delivered the private belongings of both men to their families. Kit’s brother was devastated but grateful to receive the collection of geodes he had kept tucked inside a pouch in his tent. Deirdre’s wife and daughter were the hardest for Sheng to face but he spent a warm afternoon with them as he told of his superiors’ final brave moments and the good memories he had of the man.
Both families had inquired to him about the odd bonus added to the pension payments being delivered each fortnight. Sheng had no idea what to make of that, noting the rather sizable addition being handed out that went beyond either man’s ranks. Neither Beni or Reiki could make sense of it either, and his wife Asuka had mentioned that a similar bonus was given after Sheng was reported dead, before he crawled his way back to camp. They attempted to look into it but every avenue was barred. There was no known source for these payouts. Someone very high up was making them and ensuring it was anonymously done, and Reiki suspected it was somehow related to Private Li.
Beni pointed out that any medical logs that had been written up on the rare few times that Li had been injured and Beni had treated him in the field, were missing when they arrived back home. His private belongings were gone, and nobody really even knew where his tent was in camp to begin with when they were packing up to retreat to the next rendezvous point.
Reiki had promised to do some digging around and meet them at the bar tonight, but both she and Beni appeared to be running late. He considered ordering another drink when he looked up and spotted them shoving their way through the door and around the cluttered front bar as they scanned the room. Beni noticed him first, giving Reiki’s bicep a tug to drag her through the crowd towards their corner. It was strange seeing them in civilian clothing for the first time in a long time, with Reiki’s hair done up in an Earth Kingdom style braided ponytail and Beni’s was pulled back into a hastily made bun. Now that they were on an official (mandatory) leave, Beni had taken to finally growing his beard out and it was going about as well as Sheng expected. He had a sharp goatee that Reiki had jokingly considered braiding one of these days like they saw some of the Water Tribe warriors do. The older man had stroked it thoughtfully before shaking the thought away with a grimace when she opted to put flowers into it as well.
After reaching the table, Beni stopped by long enough to catch drink orders before elbowing his way towards the bar using his broad build and height to muscle his way through the bustling drunkards hogging the stools. Reiki plopped down with a tired huff and stretched her legs out across from him, bumping knees with Sheng pointedly beneath the table as she gave him a questioning look.
“You look like shit.”
“Ya sure know how to make a man feel special, Reiki.” He drawled dryly and toyed with the rim of his drink.
“You know what I mean.” Reiki softened as she leaned forward and posted her chin with one hand and asked. “You’re still not sleeping, are you?”
“I sleep.” He corrected, noting it was mostly short bursts and cat naps when he could steal them. She shot him a disappointed look that always felt like being scolded by an older sister. His shoulders sagged a little as he bitterly admitted. “I can’t get them out of my head 'n all of this mess isn’t helpin any.” Sheng gestured pointedly at their current status. What remained of their team had been disbanded without an explanation. They were forced into a mandatory leave of absence along with a good chunk of the other soldiers that served in the pass under Prince Zuko’s command.
Those that were still in service had been reassigned and moved around to fill positions in other regiments. Chen was put on leave and Jee somehow managed to not only stay in service, but instead of taking that retirement everyone was expecting, he got promoted to Lieutenant and then later assigned as a personal guard to Prince Lu Ten.
The most outrageous part about that whole thing was the fact that Jee was previously the personal guard to Prince Zuko, but failed and was somehow promoted for it instead of demoted which says a lot about whoever pulled those strings in the Palace. Beni and Reiki had helped fuel some of his theories on the matter and most of it boiled down to a suspicion that someone wanted the Prince gone and Jee either intentionally or accidentally achieved that goal for them.
Either way, they weren’t very happy with their former superior officer at the moment. Not much was really known about Prince Zuko, and none of them really even knew what the guy even looked like but from what they had gone through in that pass together, he had tried his best to ensure they had everything necessary to keep going day to day. He wasn’t a bad guy in Sheng’s opinion. A little strange for a Prince, and kind of odd in comparison to the more charismatic members of his family such as General Iroh and Prince Lu Ten, both of which were common recognizable faces among their military and their nation. All most people knew of Prince Zuko was a very old photograph from his childhood that circulated about after a Palace fire nearly took the young boy’s life. Lady Ursa had urged for prayers for her son’s recovery, and after that, nobody really knew what the prince looked like now all grown up.
There were some suspicions that the fire had left him horribly disfigured which would explain his obvious absence most of the time, but he was a young man that chose the life of the military in the end and Sheng could respect that. Besides, if he was fit to serve, he must not have been that bad off after the fire.
Beni returned with their drinks and Sheng finally mustered the energy to finish off his previous one and set the empty glass aside before accepting the second with the same desire to ponder into the amber liquid like it held all the answers they were after. And if it didn’t? Well, it would at least quiet his thoughts some.
“So Reiki, what did you find out?” Beni asked as he settled into his seat beside her so they were both facing Sheng now. Reiki stirred her fire whiskey while Beni sipped at the fruity sweet concoction he ordered at the bar that Sheng was both kind of judging him for and wishing he had ordered one as well.
Reiki looked puzzled as she blanched. “Nothing.”
“What?” Sheng asked, as Beni interjected.
“Didn’t you go to search the records in the military archives?”
“I did.” Reiki explained. “There was nothing on file for Private Li. No entry level examinations, no enlistment records, no medical records, nothing. Li is a ghost story as far as the military is concerned.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” Beni scratched at his neck and shook his head. “We served beside Li for months. He did everything with us.”
“Not everything.” Sheng pointed out, as Reiki turned her attention to him. The look in her eyes seemed to suggest they were thinking the same thing. “I’ve been thinkin 'bout this for a while, 'n I know Kit and I had joked a few times about it after Li was assigned to us, but nothin about him makes sense.”
“What are you talking about?” Beni shot a glance between Sheng and Reiki before the former decided to explain.
“He uses weapons that go against military regulation. The way he fights in hand to hand combat doesn’t fit what we’re taught in basic trainin. Beni, what’s the enlistment minimum for height?”
“Uh….5’8 last I checked. Why?”
“I’m 5’10 and Li was way shorter than me.” Sheng pointed out. “He rarely ever took his helmet off and when he did, he tended to avoid most of us. Nobody knew where his tent was even at or who he was bunked with 'n if I recall correctly, it was a fight and a half to get him to let you bandage his leg after he’d been injured and couldn’t walk back to camp.”
“I remember.” Beni agreed. “Li was pretty secretive, that's for sure. I don’t even think he talked at all about his family and I never saw him writing letters to home.”
“Li was pretty secretive.” Reiki echoed slowly, brows pinched in thought before her eyes widened and her hand shot out to grip Beni’s shoulder in a vice as she blurted. “Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit! ”
“What?” Both Sheng and Beni cried.
“Private Li.”
“What about him?” Beni stared at her puzzled before inspecting her drink with suspicion. “Reiki?”
“Private Li.” She repeated.
“Yeah, we know his name.” Sheng was starting to grow concerned as well as Beni reached for her glass to pull it away.
“No you dumbasses. Private Li. ” She repeated slowly. “Privately. Private Li.”
“Agni’s tits.” Sheng hissed as realization struck him and Beni at the same time. “That fucker has been usin a fake name.”
“Which is why we can’t find him on any official documents.” Beni filled in as he sank back into his chair. “Then who is he really?”
“And what would make a man like that hide his real identity?” Reiki sighed. “At least now we know why Jee and everyone else had no idea who we were talking about. He doesn’t even exist.”
That was honestly quite the daunting question on all their minds as they considered it and sipped silently at their drinks. Reiki had drained her glass as Beni considered this for a long time as he poked the berries that floated on top with the tip of his finger, making them sink below the surface as their corner grew eerily quiet. Eventually, Beni proposed the question.
“If he wasn’t really Li, then who was he?”
Sheng absently noticed a turned back at the table beside them shifted uneasily in their seat. He couldn’t quite put together why the shape looked familiar in the dimly lit bar. He blamed it on the four stronger drinks he had earlier muddling his recollection a bit. As he stared at the man, trying to make out the set of his shoulders and the odd position his legs were set in like he was caught between getting up and staying seated, still trying to decide what option was more fitting, when Reiki offered the thought.
“Who else was unaccounted for in the pass?”
“Li, Deirdre, Kit, Sheng for a little bit and Prince Zuko during the retreat-” That didn’t exactly make sense and both Reiki and Beni were giving each other knowing looks as Sheng picked up on their thought process. If they were in the process of retreating, Prince Zuko should have been leading his forces, surrounded by their men in a well protected position. How does a Prince go missing and not a single other casualty comes of it in the process?
“Agni’s balls! Was Li actually Pri-” The man at the table next to them turned around quickly as his chair scraped loudly across the floor cutting Beni’s words off as he slammed a palm against the table in a well acted out attempt to drunkenly catch himself. Suddenly Sheng remembered why the man looked so fucking familiar as Jee hunched over their table and lowered his voice in a hissed.
“Quiet!”
“What the fuck?” Reiki jerked in her seat alongside Beni as Sheng’s delayed reaction was a twitch of his hand to his empty belt.
Jee scanned the table as he met each of them eye to eye before giving a firm command. “Outside, now.”
“Yes sir.” Sheng answered automatically as Reiki and Beni just stared in silent shock after the man as he straightened up and strolled out of the bar as if nothing had even happened. Slowly, they each rose from their seats as Beni downed the rest of his drink in a few quick gulps before tailing beside Sheng to the door. The room felt strangely charged as eyes followed them across the room. There were too many military men present for them, even deep in their cups as they were, to miss that encounter.
Once they were outside, Jee led them down the street and into a narrow alley off to the side that wrapped around the building to a much quieter back street that was rarely used this time of night. It offered enough privacy for a verbal reaming he supposed as they gathered together to face their superior officer.
Reiki was the one to spark courage first as she settled a hand on her hip and squared her stance to match Jee’s, unyielding to any pulling of rank he might attempt to do. “What in Agni’s name is going on, sir? Is Private Li really Prince Zuko?”
“For a bunch of scouts, you three need to watch your tongues in public places.” Jee snapped bitterly. “Even incorrect information is still powerful enough to get someone hurt.”
“Ya didn’t answer her question, sir.” Sheng interjected. The stoic expression was as unnerving as it had always been as he pointed it at Sheng. He held his ground regardless and scoffed. “So it is true.”
There was a stretch of tense silence as Jee considered them the way a leopard seal considered a tasty fish, before posing the question. “If you get your answer, what would you do with it?”
“Have closure for one.” Reiki snapped bitterly. “You’ve no idea how maddening it is to wonder if Li was ever really there after everything that happened and you people keep treating us like we’re crazy.”
Sheng let his shoulders sink pathetically as he nodded in agreement, his eyes dropped to stare at the stones between his boots as he lamented. “We still don’t know what happened to him.”
Beni sighed. “We’re just trying to make sense of things, sir. It’s our job. It's what we were trained to do.”
The elder man's eyes inspected them each closely one by one as if calculating the risk their presence tonight had caused. Reiki only stood more firmly, Beni relaxed and Sheng felt like he lost the energy to keep pushing back. He didn't know how Reiki kept so much fire in her heart when he felt water logged and snuffed out.
Lowering his voice, the Lieutenant admitted quietly, causing them to strain their ears just to listen in. " Li is alive and I've been reassigned to assist in the efforts to bring him back home safely." There was a pause as Jee considered them before adding. "This information is confidential, you understand? There are certain individuals that would see Private Li permanently added to the wall of the dead."
In a strange way, that was the best news he's heard in months. It took a moment as they all nodded agreement before Sheng cursed under his breath, his face burning a brighter red than a tomato. "Agni's burnin ballsack!"
"What?" Beni blurted in alarm as all eyes fell on Sheng.
"I just realized…." Sheng bemoaned. "That means a Fire Nation Prince witnessed me shit on a snake and laughed about it over drinks with us."
Beni and Reiki's raucous laughter that followed was almost loud enough to smother the withering look Jee was directing at them as he slowly shook his head in dismissal. His friends piled in towards him to give him a lazy smothering half hug with their arms slung around his shoulders before promptly inviting Jee to join them for more drinks. The man seemed tempted to decline until Reiki offered to tell the older man the wonderful tales and adventures of Private Li while he was running with their scouting party. A small phantom of a smile twitched on his lips as he conceded and trailed them back down the alley and towards the bar once more.
Notes:
A cute thought I wanted to add in here.
Sheng's wife Asuka, her name is spelled using the characters that mean "tomorrow". When Sheng proposed and then later, as part of his wedding vows when they got married, he used the phrase "will you be my tomorrow?" And that pretty much sums up how sappy and romantic their whole relationship dynamic is on a regular basis. They're both poets at heart and Asuka fell for this dorky man who loves writing love poems about nature.
Also despite their closeness, Reiki and Beni aren't a couple. They're just really really good friends who are super comfortable with each other in a way that often gets them mistaken for dating/being together. Beni is always down to cuddle but has no interest at all in sex and he loves chilling and nerding out with Reiki over stuff.
If anyone wants to hit me up, send me messages, ask questions or see the updates and rambles/headcanons I post about my fics I'm currently working on, check me out on my tumblr.
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Chapter 45
Summary:
And we're back to Sokka and Zuko after the storm.
There is dancing and discussions about babies.
And Hama has 'the talk' with Zuko.
Notes:
BY AGNI WE'RE FINALLY AT 300K WORDS!
HOLY SHIT!
This is the longest thing I have ever written in my life and we're not done yet folks.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sokka was very confused as he watched his fire ferret get dressed in his winter gear and step outside without a single word. His grandmother didn't appear at all worried or confused by this as he vanished out the door to face the early morning. She wasn't even baffled by the fact that he returned three minutes later with his arms stacked with bowls filled with snow that had been gently packed down and piled up with freshly fallen snow, still damp enough for a good snowball fight.
Sokka sat at the table where he was repairing the worn handle of his warclub by replacing the leather that padded the grip, and watched as Zuko carried the bowls over to the table, laid them out then proceeded to hastily remove his snow gear. He didn't stop to warm himself by the fire despite his shivering as he stepped into the kitchen to retrieve one of the jars of moonpeaches and came back with spoons and two containers of spices from his collection that he had set aside earlier that morning.
Sitting at the table, he doled out a few peaches into each bowl then sprinkled a bit of the red spicy powder along with a bit of cinnamon on top of one, then looked to Sokka as he concocted what looked like a strange icy dessert.
"Want some on yours?" He held up the two spices for Sokka to pick from.
He looked down at Zuko's bowl and asked. "Can I try a bite of yours first?" He leaned over the counter, curiously as Zuko pushed his bowl and spoon towards him. Sokka cut a bit of the peach away and scooped up some of the snow alongside it to take a bite. It was sweet and spicy and cold and Spirits this was really good. The after heat he could certainly go without so he opted for just cinnamon on his.
Zuko added a generous helping of cinnamon to the three remaining bowls and the red powder to one before handing one of the safer bowls to Sokka. His ferret grabbed the other two untouched bowls of snowy moonpeaches and two spoons before delivering one to Gran Gran at the sofa which she gratefully accepted, then took the bowl with just cinnamon to Katara's room. The gentle knock alerted her to his presence before Sokka heard the surprised "Oh, thank you Li."
He returned to the table to resume enjoying his own bowl seated beside Sokka. The warrior worked his way through the cold sweetness as he inquired. "What made you think of this?"
"It's a Fire Nation dessert." He answered easily. "Only we use different fruits like melons and pineapple. It's popular around festival season and on Ember Island but it's hard to find since we don't have easy access to ice."
"Where do you get your ice?" Sokka asked as he took another bite of his tasty treat and relished in the simple yet decadent flavors that hit just the right spot.
"We have cooler systems and just put barrels of water inside and wait for them to freeze." He shrugged absently and sighed. "It takes a long time to make all that ice so that's why it's a very rare treat reserved for specific times of the year."
"I bet." Sokka swirled the spoon around the edges of his bowl as he chased the syrupy flavor mixing with the slush. "Here we have ice most of the year." He chuckled. "The glaciers south of Tuktu's tribe are always around and if you go high enough into the mountains above Kanut's territory, there is a lake that's frozen year round. It's as crystal clear as glass and you can see the whole lake bed as if it were just ankle deep."
"That sounds really beautiful and really fucking cold." Zuko snorted as he took a bite of his peaches and sighed. "Our Summers would be a lot nicer with easier access to ice." He added thoughtfully. "Trade and transport would be easier for certain products too."
Sokka nodded in agreement as he finished up his bowl and set it aside with a pleasant sigh of contentment. "That was really tasty. Have you been collecting snow all morning out there?"
"Yeah." Zuko answered with his spoon in his mouth still as he slid it out and swallowed. "When I got up this morning and saw it was lightly snowing, I set the bowls on the roof."
"The roof? You climbed up on the roof?" Sokka actually shouldn't be all that surprised by this point as he shook the thought away. Zuko chuckled.
"Yup, the roof. I even employed a few of the kids to help me build a snow ramp leading up to it."
"Seriously?" How had he missed that earlier when he was shoveling snow? He didn't recall any snow ramp leading up to the roof and now he was just curious enough to go see it. The cheeky smile Zuko was giving him only made him want to see it more so he promptly got up and pulled his boots on and tugged his parka over his head before heading out to look. He spotted the steady traffic of ferret shaped feet in the snow leading around to the back of the house. Just past the wood pile and tucked behind where he normally didn't venture to, there was a large sloping ramp of snow packed down and built up to reach the roof. There were little individual foot holds dug into parts of the ramp to prevent slipping and falling, and they were small enough to fit his ferret's boot prints from where he dug into them for grip.
"How long has this been here?" Sokka balked as he inspected the ground around them. It had only been a day since they all left the longhouse but the steady snowfall didn't stop even when the storm had. Sokka was quite pleased with himself in the aftermath as the camel powered snow shovel became quite popular around the village. They had made two more in the days that followed while they were still cooped up and when they were finally free of the longhouse, Humpy and two buffalo yaks cleared the way through the village, cutting cleanly through the snow with their riders enjoying themselves in the process. Their workload substantially decreased to finish the smaller walkways that the animals couldn't clear and Sokka's back was grateful for the change.
As he made his way back inside, he found Katara chatting amicably with his ferret as she collected Sokka's empty bowl from the table to clean them up. She already had Gran Gran's and Zuko's stacked in hand, before shooting him a puzzled look.
"Where did you go?"
"Out back." He hiked a thumb over his shoulder as he asked. "Did you know about the giant slope behind the house?"
"Yeah." She laughed. "I watched them make it."
Sokka just stared at his sister, disbelief weighing heavily on his shoulders as he blanched. "When?" He couldn't recall a single time when Zuko could have snuck off and employed an army of tiny helpers to build something like that in such a short amount of time.
"Yesterday." She answered simply. "While you were helping Tonuk and Alik saddle their yaks with the snow shovels."
"Oh." That's right. That took like two hours to get everything sorted out for the yaks. Kela and Inuk were helping with it. Katla still couldn't stand well on his leg after he injured it in an icy fall, so he sat back and watched his older brother play makeshift weight to the shovels.
Zuko looked amused as realization dawned on the warrior and smiled like a well sated feline as he stretched out and relaxed into his seat. He was looking a lot better now that the drugs were out of his system and the worst of his pain had subsided. The left side of his face was still glossy where the numbing oil was massaged into his skin to help ease some of the ache he felt, but other than that, the soldier looked content to go about his day with nothing to hinder him.
As Sokka plopped back into his seat and shook off the shiver that danced down his spine from the cold treat and the brisk step outside. He resumed his work on his war club as Zuko cupped his jaw in his hand and propped his head up with his elbow and watched him work. After several minutes, when Katara had returned to her room and Gran Gran resumed her knitting work, Sokka quietly asked.
“You working with Hama this afternoon?”
The soldier hummed idly. “I am.”
Sokka nodded, mentally going over the time and noting that they still had a little bit before Zuko had to go to the healer’s hut. He would walk him there when the time came, then the warrior would head up to the longhouse to help clean up and prepare for the evening’s festivities. It wasn’t anything big and flashy, just a gathering of the village to celebrate making it through such an unforgiving storm. There would be music and dancing, and some light drinking here and there. It was mostly to show gratitude for their safety.
“How are you feeling?” Sokka gently probed about as he focused mostly on his task, but he was lending an ear to Zuko’s answer as the man shrugged in the edge of his vision and made a noncommittal noise. “Not sure if that counts as an answer, bud.”
“I’m not really sure. Just feeling really bleh.” He grumbled.
“Feeling very bleh, hm?” Sokka echoed. “That’s a new one.”
“Oh?” Zuko made a soft dramatic gasp. “Haven’t you heard? Feeling very bleh is all the rage in the Earth Kingdom. All the stuffy nobility are doing it these days. It’s the new style in court.” His voice rose and fell in the same goofy mocking tone that Sokka often used when reading the theater scrolls to his little ferret and it dragged a laugh out of the tribesman. The soft raspy laughter of Gran Gran’s amusement filtered in behind them as Zuko smiled back, though he tried valiantly to hide it.
“I see. How fashion forward of you.” Sokka fed into the ploy as he gestured in an exaggerated sweep and bow. “I was not aware that such a regal ferret has graced our humble abode.”
Zuko rolled his eyes and gave the warrior’s midsection a teasing jab. Sokka made a quiet grunt as he shot a betrayed look at his fiery little ferret and huffed before nudging him back with his elbow as he finished his work on his grip. It felt strange having a new handle on it, but it was a good sort of strange. A strange that didn’t dig into his palm and wasn’t pinching his grip where the leather was wearing out. He held it up triumphantly and smirked at his beloved weapon before passing it over for Zuko to give it a curious inspection.
“That’s really smoothe.” The soldier held it carefully in hand as he rotated his wrist and investigated the hard work Sokka put into it. “What kind of leather do you use?”
“Seal skin mostly.” Sokka gestured at the old straps he cut off of the previous handle. “I think the last time I replaced the grip, I only had caribou on hand but the first grip was made with seal skin.”
“Do you have to replace it often?” He inquired as he handed the club back to Sokka. He accepted it proudly and shrugged at the question.
“Depends on how much I use it.” He gave a sheepish smile. “It got a lot of use during the war so I wore it out pretty quickly. What about your dao?”
“Shark skin.” He answered easily. “I don’t think I’ve needed to replace their grips yet. Master Piandao is a blacksmith as well as a master swordsman so whenever my blades need repairs, I can trust him to do the work on them.”
“A blacksmith and a master swordsman? Wow.”
Zuko hummed. “I was pretty impressed too when I was training under him. He has his own forge right inside his castle.”
“Wait, this man has a castle?”
“Yeah.” Zuko gave a bob of confirmation as he leaned comfortably back into his chair and sighed. “It’s pretty big and he lives there with his butler. He only trains a small handful of students every few years and he is very specific about who he will train.”
“Let me guess, they have to be wealthy?” Sokka poked mockingly.
The soldier shook his head. “No, in fact, he will send away anyone who approaches his door bearing their family’s mark. If you’re prideful, there is no place for you in the training room. He almost sent me away when my Uncle asked him to train me, but something made him change his mind.” The way he spoke of his old master was fond and thoughtful. The soldier clearly harbored so much love and respect for the swordsman, as every word fell with admiration.
“Maybe he saw the same thing in you that I did.” Sokka hummed, just a touch above teasing but still light as he started to clean his workspace up. A golden eye fell on him as he looked curiously up at the warrior as he elaborated. “A fiery little ferret that has the fighting spirit to put even La to shame in its stubbornness.”
Zuko rolled his eyes and shook his head with a huff. “You’d be surprised.” He interjected as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I wasn’t always like this.”
“Hm?”
“Master Piandao helped me find myself away from the shadows of my family.” His voice lowered as his gaze dropped to the table, awkwardly picking his way through his words as he admitted. “He helped me figure out what it means to stand on my own two feet and hold my ground against all odds.”
“Your master would be proud of you, Li.” Sokka reached over to give his right shoulder a firm pat as he passed to take his belongings to his room. “Let me put these away real quick and you should probably start getting ready for Hama’s.” He called over his shoulder as the soldier gave a curt bob of understanding and popped up to his feet to go to his own room to get changed.
Hama’s was a lot busier than Zuko expected it would be in the aftermath of the snowstorm. There were the usual people that complained of lingering aches and pains and the typical falling hazards. Katla came by to get his knee checked out when the stiffness and weakness was still persistent. Zuko managed him on his own as he addressed the muscle injury and prescribed an oil to massage into the joint with a warm compress to wrap around the affected limb to help loosen up some of the stiffness from the chill.
There were other visitors that came in and went directly to Hama. They didn’t get checked over, just requested one of two drugs that the old healer had been refilling most of the day. So much so that she snagged Zuko to help sort the dried leaves for one of them. It was a plant he was not at all familiar with, but both men and women were coming in and asking for it.
After Kodiak had come in as the eighth person today in the last two hours, he had to ask because otherwise it was going to drive him insane. He just couldn’t figure out what its purpose was because every person that came in didn’t share a single noticeable connection. They were all of various ages and genders, they were all relatively healthy as far as he knew, and they all went directly to Hama to ask for it, not even batting an eye at him and she always knew what it was they were after even before they opened their mouths.
“Is this like a supplement or something?” He finally asked after Kodiak had left and the healer’s hut had gone quiet and empty for the first time all day. He was looking between the pile of dried herbs he was pulling the leaves off the stems of to place into a small container.
“Something like that.” She smiled, giving him an amused look as she beckoned him over to take a seat beside her work desk and set out two completely different containers. One holding the herbs he was sorting the leaves of, and the other filled with a fine green powdery substance he didn’t recognize.
“Now Li, what do you know about pregnancies and sex?” She began. The shocked look of horror on his face was probably quite a clear answer to that question as he made a disgusted noise and shook his head.
“I don’t need another lecture about the dragons and the badgermoles please. With how much my cousin sleeps around, I think I’ve got a pretty good idea.” Her quiet laughter was light and airy as she smiled and patiently pointed at the containers with a nod of understanding.
“Well, to put it simply, these two medicines help prevent a pregnancy from happening.” She pointed at the herbs. “The women brew these leaves into a tea and drink it the morning before and after having sex.” Then pointed at the powder. “The men mix a small measure of this into a flask of cold water and drink it a few hours before. Of course it’s not a foolproof process but it does substantially lessen the risks of a pregnancy. A yak intestine sheathe will aid in avoiding making a baby but not many enjoy using one because it can be a hassle to obtain them at times.” That last part sounded judgmental on her end and Zuko could empathize with that.
“So it's not something I should be worried about all of a sudden.” He sighed in relief.
She gave him a scrutinizing look. “I would certainly hope not otherwise you and Sokka have quite a bit of explaining to do.”
“What?” The soldier blurted. “Why me? I don’t like women.” It only took him a minute for his brain to catch up to the insinuation and he was very confused like he was missing something here. Hama only chuckled and gave his shoulder a gentle consoling pat as she turned to pack the containers away.
He rose from his seat to resume his work sorting leaves when the thought occurred to him that, that meant more than half the village was suddenly in the mood to fuck like some sort of apocalyptic wave of horny rabbits and now the influx of births and baby season made so much more sense.
As he was finishing up with the leaves, Hama asked with a hum. "Are you and Sokka going to the longhouse tonight to celebrate with everyone?"
"Huh?" Zuko turned to address Hama quizzically before he recalled Kanna briefly mentioning something about an after storm celebration. It might have slipped his mind a bit. "Oh um, maybe? Probably. Sokka wouldn't want to miss it, I bet."
He resumed placing the lid back onto the container and leaned up on his toes to shelve it where it belonged. Dusting the scraps off his workspace, he collected them into a pile to be dealt with later by Hama. Some plants she could re-use the scraps, others she just added to a small barrel that would later be used for turning into fertilizer for the planting season. There was apparently a large collection of similar large barrels from the entire village that collected by the stables, mixed with the manure from the stalls and soil that had been added to it to encourage it to break down more. It was a technique he hadn't seen before which was brilliant in his opinion and he looked forward to seeing how it was applied for the planting season.
"Li." Hama beckoned his attention, as his head snapped up to look at her quiet frown. "What do you want?"
"I'm not really sure what you mean." He admitted, feeling even more confused as she sighed, sounding disappointed in that way that reminded him of Uncle Iroh when he was clearly missing a very obvious point. It only made him feel even more uneasy and conflicted because he didn't mean to miss the obvious and he mentally backpedaled to try to figure out what exactly they were even talking about. Had he missed a part of the conversation? Cause he really felt like he might have.
"Come sit down for a moment, hun." She gestured at the seats they had taken earlier but as Zuko settled into his, Hama moved towards the fire to prepare a warm drink for them both. He appreciated the brief pause to get his thoughts in order, while simultaneously despising it because it felt too much like he was about to get another lecture on something he isn't quite sure about in the first place. It made him nervous as he fidgeted his hands together, picking anxiously at the dried skin around his fingernails that had taken a brutal beating from the bitter cold.
When the drinks were ready and she had poured them into two cups, she offered one to Zuko who gratefully took it, if only to occupy his hands, then settled in beside him. He took a long savoring sip of the warm cider and sighed as a comforting heat ran down his throat and filled his gut.
Hama cradled her cup in her weathered old hands and fixed her gray eyes on him. Zuko swallowed thickly, feeling that nagging rush of nerves rising back up as she began. "Li, I've been meaning to have this conversation with you for some time now and I believe there is no better time for this than right now."
"Okay." He grunted, feeling the warm flush of the drink turn into a steadily creeping heat of anxiety that paired with the very unwelcome twist of nausea at the seriousness of her tone. Part of him worried that he was in trouble for something and he had no idea what he did wrong now. He couldn't think of anything that might have upset her, unless it came about during their stay in the longhouse to wait out the storm, but Zuko couldn't exactly remember much of that time. It was all one big fuzzy blur that came in bits and pieces of clarity or impressions of feelings. Most of the time he just remembered cuddling with Sokka and listening to stories, or spending time with Humpy or the one time he felt really sad because he missed his mom so much it made his whole chest hurt so badly he couldn't stand it.
"Spring is soon to approach and with it will come a big decision that you'll be faced with." She started, drawing his worries to a sudden halt with understanding.
'Oh.' Realization dawned on him as his rising anxiety steadily abated at the easier to manage topic. Easier to manage, but still not easy to think about. He's been driving himself mad as he considered his choices and options but in the end, he felt guilty for his selfish desires in the face of his duties.
"I know that you and Sokka have become quite close over these last few months, and you're very fond of one another." She elaborated carefully as she picked her words before offering them with sympathy dripping from her voice. "But this decision in Spring should be made with what's best for you in mind when the time comes. Do you understand, Li?"
"I know." He admitted with a hint of frustration, adjusting his grip on the mug in his grasp, he rolled it between his palms and sighed. "I've spent months beating myself up over this choice and no matter what I choose, I feel like I'm still losing something important."
"I understand this is not an easy decision, Li, but please think it over thoroughly first." She urged firmly. "You and Sokka are still so young, and if staying with Sokka is your only reason for staying here after Spring, ask yourself this. If your relationship doesn't last, would you still be happy staying in the tribes? If the answer is no, then I implore you to reconsider your decision."
Zuko was already well aware of that, he didn't need Hama to remind him. He stared bitterly down at the remaining cider in his mug as he sighed in defeat. Hama rose from her seat and gave his shoulder a gentle pat as she passed to continue her work, leaving Zuko to think this all over for the last little remainder of his work schedule.
It hung around in his thoughts like a heavy fog even after he finished his drink. Sokka came by to collect him, and the walk home to Kanna's was quiet and pensive as the warrior strolled by his side. He shot the Prince worried glances but Zuko just shrugged it off with a tired dismissal. At supper, he picked at his plate, not really having the appetite to offer as he forced himself to finish the already scant helpings he requested.
"You feeling alright, buddy?" Sokka fretted when the table was cleaned up. Zuko sagged in his seat, feeling wrung out after grinding the gears in his head until they were burned out for the thousandth time these last few months. He just couldn't justify giving up both sides. On one hand, he loved Sokka and he adored the Water Tribes. They treated him like one of their own and made him feel real. Their entire culture was simply beautiful and Zuko couldn't get enough of how brilliantly simplistic and supportive it was, even if the work was hard and they struggled, there was pride and love in everything they did. There was a deeply spiritual respect for those around them and the land beneath their feet and the animals they coexisted with and Zuko wanted desperately to be a part of that.
At the same time, he had a family to return to. He had his Uncle, Lu Ten and Azula waiting for him to come home. She needed him more now than ever with their mother gone, and Agni knows what Ozai was scheming next. He had a duty to his people and his nation, even if most of them didn't even recall he existed. It was still his responsibility regardless of his personal feelings on the matter.
Both these worlds warred inside his head leaving him feeling burnt out and depressed.
"Li?" Sokka nudged him gently in the side to get his attention.
"Hm?"
"Do you just want to stay home and rest tonight?" It was very tempting to just crawl back into bed and pretend the world and all these problems didn't exist. "If you're still not feeling well, that's alright."
He shrugged, thought about it then asked just to fill the stark silence of the room. "What sort of stuff is going on at the longhouse?"
"Music and dancing." Sokka answered easily. "Nothing too big like we've done before."
"Just music and dancing, hm." He did really like music and he had enjoyed watching how the Water Tribe dances differ from the Fire Nation ones. He supposed he could just sit and relax and watch Sokka go a few songs before calling it a night. "I don't mind. Music and dancing might do me some good."
The warrior's hopeful little grin wasn't what Zuko expected to see but he wouldn't begrudge him that pleasure.
The whole energy of the longhouse was bustling and busy with people as they gathered with all the tables moved to the furthest walls to clear enough space for the festivities in the center of the room. The central fire burned brightly as a drum circle gathered near it to play a steady rhythm. There was chanting and cries of harmonious singing in a way that Zuko had only heard briefly before. Shouts and cheers rose and fell in the rest of the gathering as people raised their hands and shook them in the air to join the buzz of singers and carry the pace as it trembled through their bodies.
Everyone seemed to participate, young and old, men and women, as they chanted and sang in a way that went beyond the traditional Water Tribe words he was taught. It was baffling and beautiful and bizarre in comparison to everything he knew and where he had come from.
Zuko had taken a seat at one of the tables tucked next to the walls, finding himself a little overwhelmed in all of this as he watched Sokka, Katara, Kanna, Hakoda and Bato gather for a special dance that seemed uniquely fit for the Chief’s family as they moved to the beat of the music in perfect unison, their hands rising and falling, flowing from set to set in a way that almost reminded him of when he practiced with his dao, not the choppy striking movements but the well rounded balance as they moved like an extension of his limbs. The gathering of people chanted around them as the dance continued until the beat faded out and the five stood shoulder to shoulder, smiling widely at one another.
After that, the music shifted and the songs seemed more sporadic as the beat picked up pace and everyone appeared to be doing something different. It was no longer something systematic but still felt spiritual in appearance. As he scanned the crowd, he saw Alik and his wife swaying easily together at a more sedated pace as he cradled her in his arms. Katla and Inuk were sitting together a few tables down, with the younger brother’s leg wrapped carefully and resting while they moved their hands to the beat, tapping the drum rhythm and chatting. Tonuk and Kela had bobbed around a few times, popping up as they danced together and occasionally with Meriwa and Kirima.
Bato had joined the players with a wood pipe in hand along with Ikiaq who used a strange stringed instrument that Zuko didn’t recognize. It looked, from this angle, like a stump of wood that he was playing with a large bow, but it created a sound that paired well with the pipe. Another younger tribesman joined with a rattle made of a turtle shell that they shook in steady rhythm along with a one of Pana’s daughters who played a pan flute, which he had only heard of and seen after Lu Ten brought one back from the Foggy Swamp tribes and played it for him and Azula when they were younger.
As the music changed and grew more lively with various melodies all harmonizing as one, the different types of dancing grew even more diverse than before. Hakoda was dancing with Kanna near the fires as they moved and swayed in a similar easy movement to their first dance, but unlike many that Zuko had seen, this dance lacked a leader in its forms. They united as one, without a need to follow anyone’s lead or cue. They always seemed to know just what to do.
Zuko continued to admire the music and the people around him when he saw Kodiak crumple to his seat, one hand held over his mouth as he seemed to be in some form of distress. The prince was about to rise from his seat to check on the man when he realized he was watching something intensely. Following the older tribesman’s gaze, he saw the cause of his distress as his shoulders shook immensely to find Lukka a few paces away standing back from the crowd waving his arms in the air. He had his little boots planted firmly in place but his entire body from his knees up to the tips of his fingers held high above his head were being waved and wiggled back and forth to the sound of the music. He flopped himself about, throwing himself back and forth without dislodging his feet with the most intense look on his pudgy little face.
Suddenly Zuko was sympathetic to Kodiak’s struggles not to howl with laughter at the small child. He bent his knees and bounced in place, waving his arms from side to side as his head bobbed to the beat. The little boy looked like he was so full of the spirit of the music, that his tiny body could barely contain all of his enthusiasm. Lady Ezra looked to be sharing her husband's struggle as she stood beside her son, a grin drawn clear across her face as she bit her bottom lip to quiet her own shakes of laughter.
The prince tore his gaze away from the rather adorable view when a shadow passed over his spot. His head snapped up to find Sokka had approached, moving cautiously in his blindspot when the soldier was distracted and about to announce himself before he got caught. He held a hand up in a mini wave and greeted him with a broad smile.
“You want to dance?”
“Oh, uh…..” Zuko looked around and gave a little shrug. “I don’t really know how to dance like this.”
“It's really easy.” Sokka assured him, his hand outstretched to the soldier with that desperate request that he agree to join him. Zuko felt uncertain but Sokka’s hopeful smile kicked that last little bit of hesitance out of the way as he relented and accepted the offered hand. Sokka didn’t take them to the front of the group where most of the people were gathered and the drums were loudest, but led him towards the quieter more spacious back of the longhouse where fewer eyes could pry as he took both of Zuko’s hands in his and grinned down at the soldier.
“I promise you won’t make a fool of yourself." Sokka reassured him once more. “It’s really easy, just feel the music. Close your eyes and let it fill you up inside.”
“That sounds really ridiculous.” Zuko grumbled a bit as he anxiously looked around for anyone who might be watching. Sokka gave his hands a gentle squeeze and stretched his shoulders as he tossed his head off to the side as he added.
“Ridiculousness is part of the creative process.” He gestured at the small wiggling, flopping, bobbing toddler off to the side. “Just look at Lukka. He’s feeling the music and having the time of his life.”
“He looks like he’s having a seizure.” Zuko pointed out. “And his dad looked like he was choking earlier.”
“That’s normal for Kodiak.” Sokka chuckled as he gave him a gentle nudge and urged. “Come on, just try. Please?”
Zuko sighed in defeat. “Fine.” He closed his eyes and listened to the music, he let the drum beats fill him to his core and listened to the sounds of the flutes dancing easily in the air to the hums, stomps and chants that were being vocalized around the circle. All he got in response was a maddening desire to have his swords in his grasp. He tried and he came up with nothing, letting his shoulders sink in defeated slump as he shook his head. “I can’t really do it.”
“You’re thinking too hard about it.” Sokka admonished, stepping into Zuko’s space a little more as he gave his hands another quick squeeze then let them go. “Just feel and flow. ”
“It’s not that easy.” Zuko countered, but Sokka was still smiling at him with that goofy expression on his face even though the prince was still feeling the edge of his earlier upset creeping back, and was quickly being joined by frustration.
“Of course it is. I’ve seen you do it before.” Sokka amended. He took a large step back and settled his stance as he urged. “You did it with your swords and then later when we fought. So, let's do it again.”
“That-” Zuko blanched. “That wasn’t dancing!”
“But it came as easily as dancing. ” The tribesman echoed Zuko’s own words back at him from all those months ago, and suddenly it clicked in his head as to what the warrior meant. Sokka spoke the same odd language as he did when it came to these things, this weird little interest that brought them together and saw them through numerous encounters. They clashed like old partners in the same tired old song, moving with every note memorized without telling the other what the next step is.
It was just as easy as that, and Zuko honestly felt foolish for ignoring the familiar beats that itched in his fingers. His body already knew but his mind was making it far too complicated so he quieted it and mirrored Sokka’s stance just as he had so many times before when sparring with the larger man. They came together, their fists turned to open palms, their grapples were arms bracing against each other. A sweeped leg was a side step that paired well with a bow, and from there they moved, meeting pace with the drum beats and flowing to the melody of the flutes as they ducked, weaved, met arm to arm, braced together and swept each other around the floor.
Once the beat picked up, Zuko found a steady rhythm that they moved in tandem, step for thrilling step, they danced. His grin spread achingly so across his face as Sokka beamed back at him and they moved in their small corner of the longhouse, dancing through song after song, the only thing that changed was their pace to match the beat of the music until their combative steps turned polished and fluid and bled into the more familiar motions that mingled in phantom wisps of ballroom poise and flourishes.
Before he knew it, they had collected a small audience of onlookers that had taken to watching them while they rested and sought out a drink to cool off and catch their breaths with. A few faces Zuko didn’t recognize but most of which were the collective crew from Hakoda’s ship as they milled about and smiled approvingly towards the pair. Their own steps slowed for a reprieve as both men were left panting and sweating with the crowded heat of the building and all the activity. It was easy to get worked up like this.
The warrior extended a hand to catch around Zuko’s hips and tucked him close as their foreheads met in an affectionate moment of calm. His heart hammered like the drums in his ears as they breathed together, slowing their rapid pace until they, like the dance, were in perfect rhythm once more.
Sokka sighed in contentment as he murmured, just loud enough for Zuko to hear it through the din of the crowd and the music around them. “I told you that you could do it, my fiery little ferret. You just had to have a little faith in yourself.”
Zuko gave a breathy laugh as he rolled his eyes and admitted. “I rarely have faith in myself, Sokka. You should know this by now.”
“Then I’ll just have to nurture the monopoly on having faith in you for the both of us.” Sokka mused as Zuko snorted in amusement. The tribesman straightened up and looped his arms around Zuko’s shoulders as his palms smoothed down the soldier’s back affectionately as he continued with pride. “Someone’s gotta do it around here and I for one enjoy being the personal ferret cheer squad. I’ve even got the perfect moves and everything.”
“I will admit, you do have some pretty nice moves.” Zuko chuckled.
“See! It’s even ferret approved.” He cheered.
Zuko had a quip poised on his lips when Kanna’s voice interjected, driving a brief wedge between the moment as she gave them a scrutinizing look. Sokka jerked in place, startled by the interruption. “Save some room for Tui and La you two!”
“But we weren’t doing anything.” Sokka whined, and was met with his dad’s amused laughter as he gently chided his mother.
“Mom, let the boys have their fun.” He gestured at the two men still currently holding onto each other as Zuko’s arms were snaked around Sokka’s hips and the warrior’s own embrace had him at the shoulders where he was perfectly eye level with those bountiful pillowy pecs he adored so much. “They’re old enough to know better and how to behave themselves.”
“I know, Koda.” Kanna hummed back with a teasing smile. “I get very few pleasures in my life and harassing the youth is one of them.” Hakoda chuckled and looped an arm around her shoulders to tuck her against his side and smiled at them.
“Of course, mom.” He sighed goodnaturedly and inspected the two with a smile.
Zuko huffed indignantly as Sokka refused to relinquish his hold on the soldier and resumed smoothing his hand along the prince's back. "I'm glad you seem to be feeling better." Sokka admitted with a small smile hanging delicately on his lips.
The soldier nodded in agreement. "Yeah, the music and dancing helped."
"It's good for healing the heart, mind and soul." Sokka purred. Zuko could easily believe that. There was always something about music and dance that made him feel so alive and free, even with the heavy restrictions on it nowadays in the Fire Nation, he still found opportunities to slide around it and worked in loopholes to still enjoy the creative arts around him. Sokka's homeland was just another beautiful addition to these limitless opportunities.
As much as Hama warned him about thinking these things through thoroughly, he couldn't help but be reminded that he loved the Water Tribe for more than one overly large dorky platypus bear. It was a community that made him feel loved, respected and alive. He wasn't surprised to know he wasn't the only Fire Nation citizen that had fallen in love with the beauty of these people and their way of life. Because it was a hard life they lived, but it was all the more worthwhile for living due to that reason.
They weren't tainted by greed and power struggles, they celebrated the little victories in every day, they savored every success and showed gratitude for each day that greeted them. They saw outsiders as family even when their allegiances and background didn't align with theirs. They saw him, a Fire Nation prince, and still welcomed him with open arms. They still cared even when they had no reason to. It was more than his own family had given him and he was simultaneously so thankful for this experience and remorseful that it wouldn't last. The thaw will inevitably come and he will still have to make this choice, even if part of him wanted both worlds.
Life wasn't so easy as to allow him that mercy. A choice needed to be made and Zuko dreaded the day.
As the music continued on, Zuko and Sokka decided to call it an early night and walked back to Kanna's house to relax in the peace and quiet. The soldier shivered once they stepped outside where the wind picked up and chased off the stuffy humidity of the longhouse and all the bodies gathered and dancing. He tucked his hands into his pockets and grumbled against the creeping chill that curled through his shaggy hair. He was grateful when they finally reached Kanna's and slipped inside where it was warm and quiet.
They shed their cold gear and huddled by the hearth as Sokka set to work getting the fire roaring once more. Zuko extended his hands to warm his numb fingers, waiting for the feeling to come back as they tingled. Eventually they migrated towards the sofa to curl up together and cuddle under the blankets as they often always did when a moment of peace was permitted away from prying eyes.
As Sokka's fingers trailed over his shoulders and along his spine, the prince sighed. "I can't believe Winter is already almost over."
The warrior grunted his agreement. "Me neither. It sort of flew right by this year." Only the crackling fire and Sokka's quiet breathing with the rasp of the icy wind in his lungs disrupted the overall peace of the home.
Zuko settled his head against Sokka's chest as he softly murmured, while listening to the steady beat of his heart. "And Spring is almost here."
There was a stretch of silence before Sokka gently nudged him, the steady rise and fall of his hand ceased as he asked. "Is that why you've been feeling so down lately?"
"Sort of." The soldier admitted bitterly. "Hama talked to me about it today." He gave a half hearted shrug of his shoulder. "I don't know what to do."
Sokka made an unhappy noise at that, all of the good humor left his voice as he bluntly asked. "Is there anything worth going back to the Fire Nation for?"
Zuko lifted his head to meet Sokka's eyes and found a deathly seriousness there that rarely graced the larger man's features. It was a little startling to see but Zuko fixed a neutral facade in return as he prepared an answer. "My little sister for one, and my responsibilities to my people. You of all people should understand that, Sokka."
"I do understand, but is there anything in your responsibilities that can't be done by another?" Sokka inquired. "A burden shared and all."
Zuko was taken a little aback by that as he admitted with some uncertainty. "Uh- sure I guess. I assume that at the moment my cousin has taken them over or delegated it…" His voice trailed a bit with unease at the admission.
"Is there any potential that your little sister can just come down here?" The warrior's hand resumed its gentle strokes along his back as it slid down to just above his hips. His thumb slid along the hem of his shirt, brushing the warm skin at the small of his back.
"Well, no." Zuko shivered a little at the ticklish touch as it stirred a warmth along his skin in its tracks. "Unlike me, she has a position among the advisers and provides critical analysis to my uncle, my father and our grandfather on negotiations and trade agreements."
Azula had a brutal eye for catching the little details when it came to negotiations. Something that their family highly valued since she was young and could pick out the predictable patterns in their favor. Unlike Zuko, she was actually useful to their family and their nation. All he did was hide in plain sight and cause problems for his Uncle.
"Zuko." Sokka began, and that certainly caught the prince's attention as he met the warrior's worried icy blue eyes. "I understand wanting to take care of your little sister. I get that, I'm an older brother too, but your sister has your uncle and your cousin to watch over her." Well that hurt a bit more than he expected it would.
Sokka shot him an apologetic look as he implored him. "I'm more worried about you. "
"Me?" Zuko balked. "Why? It's my home, Sokka."
"Zuko." He sighed. "You have made so much progress since we first picked you up. Back then, your mental well being was not in a good place at all, and your physical well being-" Sokka didn't even need to finish that thought for Zuko to understand where he was going with this. "I'm just worried that if you go back there, you'll just spiral back to the way you used to be. I don't want to see that happen to you, Zuko. Even if you don't stay in this village, even if you choose to go to Kanut's or Tuktu's tribe, I don't care. Just please don't go back there."
Zuko swallowed thickly as he started slowly. "I understand your concerns, Sokka. But I have a duty to my people even if that comes at the cost of my own well being. Things need to change in the Fire Nation and the only way that'll happen is at the top."
Sokka shook his head slowly as he let out a tired exhale. "Your uncle can do that without you needing to be there. You could send letters or even just visit for a short period at a time-"
"I can't abandon my family." Zuko interrupted.
"Even if they've abandoned you first?" The shocked silence was suffocating as the sharp blade of those words cut deeper than Sokka probably intended. It hurt a lot more than Zuko would have liked and he didn't even know what to say. Anger was his first reaction, but then it was quickly replaced by shame and guilt because a part of him felt Sokka was right for saying just that but it didn't make him feel any better hearing it declared so easily. Zuko felt like the warrior had just hauled off and slapped him across the face, the stinging ache rippled throughout his body as he promptly got up, disentangling their limbs from one another and walked back to his room.
Sokka's quiet call of his name was white noise to his ear at the moment as he ignored the warrior's soft pleas. He let the curtains fall heavily behind himself and dropped to sit on the mattress, his hands resting uselessly in his lap as he let it all come crashing down until it funneled into this void of overall numbness where he didn't have to deal with it anymore.
Notes:
Lukka does his best inflatable tube man mascot impression like you see at car dealerships compliments of my wifey requesting this dancing scene.
The instruments shown here are the apache fiddle (what Ikiaq plays), turtleshell rattle, pan flute, regular flute and drums.
Thank you all for the love and support in this fic so far. It really means a lot to me. We're on our way to the end, just hang in there. 300k words so far, heck yeah baby! Thank you all so much!!
Chapter 46
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Gran Gran was giving Sokka a weird look and that was all he needed to know that his grandmother was already aware that something was amiss. Her old eyes followed him around their home as he settled into his seat at the table to eat his breakfast, finding the chair at his side that was normally occupied by a sleepy eyed ferret was cold and empty. The curtain to Zuko’s room was open and also empty of anything vaguely ferret shaped. His boots and parka were missing from the entryway and he had apparently requested to tag along with Katara as they both headed to Pana’s to work on some project or another that the older woman was doing and needed the extra hands. He suspected it had something to do with knitting again which Sokka was no good at, but Zuko had shown a genuine interest in.
He forced himself to make his way through his meal and waited a little bit with the hopes that the two might come back and he could catch his ferret and hopefully apologize. After an hour of lingering around the house, he gave up hope of them returning anytime soon and wandered off on his own to busy his mind and his hands with work around the village. He was certain his dad or Bato had more than a few tasks for him, or he could work on making adjustments to the camel powered snow shovels. Either was a welcome reprieve at the moment to help him get his thoughts in dearly needed order.
His dad was nowhere to be found, but Bato had been occupying the stables as he worked on cleaning out Humpy’s stall. With nothing better to do, he picked up a pitchfork and started the familiar work as they cleared the manure and old straw out and replaced it with fresh bedding. Humpy simply watched them with the usual blank stare that always seemed to be silently judging them for something or another. In between their work, Sokka would pause to give the camel a few well deserved scritches under his chin and smooth his palm along Humpy’s muzzle and down his neck with a tired sigh.
“Mind telling me what’s troubling you, Sokka?” Bato asked as they finished with Humpy’s stall and moved on to the next. Alik’s buffalo yak was in need of tending too as well, but with the new babies keeping him and his wife beyond busy, Bato had taken up the task of doing the work for the other man.
“How do you know something is troubling me?” Sokka stared over the stall divide and shot the older man an incredulous look.
“You’re too quiet.” Bato pointed out, giving him a knowing look as he nudged him. “You walked in without saying a word and started working. You’re just like your father when something is bothering you.”
The warrior just shrugged dismissively at that and turned his attention back on Humpy. The camel was wise to his owner’s speculation and gently headbutted Sokka’s shoulder to force him towards the dividing wall to pay attention to Bato.
‘Traitor.” Sokka hissed as Bato smirked and waited for his answer. He sighed and let his shoulders sag with defeat. “Li’s….upset with me.” He picked his words carefully in explaining. He wasn’t quite sure if Zuko was mad at him or just frustrated or disappointed. For all he knew, it was all of the above and then some. One thing Sokka knew for certain, his ferret was avoiding him.
“What happened now?” Bato straightened up and leaned against the handle of the pitchfork where he had it propped between his boots. Sokka gripped his own a little tighter as he eased his way towards the dividing wall and leaned his hip against it. The action was meant to be casual, but Sokka felt like crumpling into it as he searched for the right way to explain what happened.
“We were just….talking and I might have said something during a touchy discussion that seemed to have hit a nerve for Li.” He frowned to himself as he recalled the shocked look on the soldier’s face, as if Sokka had physically struck him instead of spoken in such a calm manner. “He didn’t even say anything in response, he just got up and walked away, and now I think he’s avoiding me.”
Bato sighed. “Well, at least it wasn’t an Agni Kai this time.”
Sokka groaned at the reminder and let his head hang in defeat.
“Do you regret what you said?” Bato asked gently.
The younger tribesman shook his head. “Not really, because I was being honest with him.” He admitted. “But I do regret that it made Li so upset. I didn’t mean to hurt him, I was just…..concerned.”
“I see.” Bato grunted, his expression settled to something pensive and thoughtful. “You’ve found yourself another tough spot with this one Sokka. I suppose if all it amounted to was Li walking away from you, perhaps he just needs time and space to calm down.”
“I guess.” Sokka agreed.
“He’ll come around. Don’t worry about it.” Bato reached over the dividing wall to give his shoulder a firm pat. “Chin up. By this evening, he’ll probably have calmed down and you two can talk it over properly.”
“I hope so.” Sokka sighed tiredly and shot Bato a hopeful expression as he straightened up and moved around to the next stall to help him with Alik’s buffalo yak.
Something was amiss and Hama could feel it in the air. Her apprentice was unusually quiet in his little corner as he worked on memorizing the names of plants and categorized them by their various uses. He had come in alone without any sign of Sokka trailing behind him, and when he left, Sokka had failed to collect him. Li stayed long after the usual time and left by himself when he saw fit. The hour was far later than their previously agreed upon time as the day inched closer to night and the young soldier braced himself against the creeping shadows of evening to walk back to Kanna’s.
Assuming it was just a one off thing, she didn’t approach the odd behavior, until it repeated the next day. Li had shown up at noon and stayed long into the evening as he scrounged for as much extra work as he could to fill out the time until he had resorted to sorting and organizing her cabinets and shelves for the third time in the last month.
“Li.” She beckoned to him as he adjusted the perfectly straight rows he had sorted for the last two hours. He didn’t turn to address her right away, but by the sudden frown on his features, she knew that he knew she had noticed and was trying to ignore her. Unfortunately for him, she’s been around long enough that those games don’t work on her. “Come here please.”
His shoulders slumped a little in defeat as he forced himself to meet her studious gaze and marched towards the healer in that stiff formal manner that many of the tribe had grown accustomed to seeing and recognizing it for what it was. This young man unfortunately was not a good enough liar to put up a convincing front. She pushed the chair out towards him in a silent command that he take a seat. He stared at it a moment before dropping down to rest, maintaining that stiffness to his posture that was entirely uncomfortable to look at. Hama couldn’t even imagine what it was like maintaining it for hours on end like Li seemed prone to doing when his prickly edges came out to jab any unsuspecting hands that offered a consoling touch.
"Would you mind telling me what's wrong?"
"Outta labels." He grunted quietly, his good eye shifted to avoid looking directly at her as she waited for him to continue. Her gray eyes raked over him with a critical scan when he resumed his silence.
"You only just ran out of labels an hour ago, Li. Your behavior has persisted for two days now." She corrected. "I implore you to try again."
His gaze dropped to the floor as his jaw clenched tightly. His hands folded together in his lap but they weren't bleached with tension like past grievances. There was still some slack in his grip as he fidgeted uncomfortably and shook his head.
"It's nothing to concern yourself with." He answered just as quietly as before. "It's not interfering with my ability to work."
"Li." Hama said his name as gently as she could, letting out a tired exhale as she urged the younger man to listen. "You are both my apprentice and my temporary charge. Both of these things make your well being my business. That does not even include my current position as the head healer in this tribe."
The young man looked like he was winding up with a bitter retort but she pressed on, interrupting any opening he might have seized. "Having said that, I understand that there are some topics that a person may wish to keep private, but I would like to remind you that should you ever need counsel or advice, I'll be right here to listen."
The tightness in his shoulders slowly crumbled bit by bit until he lowered his head with a curt bob of understanding. "Thank you but I would rather not talk about this right now."
"I understand." She nodded, offering him the dismissal he was eagerly awaiting. "If you wouldn't mind staying there a moment." His head perked up as she rose stiffly to her feet and shuffled towards a cabinet. "You can help me make those labels you were looking for." The relieved exhale that left the soldier was hard to miss as his tight expression softened to something considerate and much more open than it had been all afternoon.
It had been two days and Sokka still couldn't catch a moment to talk privately with Zuko. He evaded him at every turn, vanishing at the earliest crack of dawn and only resurfacing at supper time. As soon as dinner was finished, he would excuse himself back to his room and avoid so much as looking in the warrior's direction. Sokka tried not to let it hurt as much as it did, but he didn't bear the same thick skin he forged to take blows in battle. His fiery little ferret was adept in getting under his armor where the warrior was raw and vulnerable. He couldn't weather this storm as easily as he first thought with his mind racing like lightning across a distant cloud sky, he couldn't silence these dreaded thoughts of 'what ifs' that plagued him like gnats around his ears.
He needed to sort this out before time takes his idleness and drives a wedge between everything they have built back up after the Agni Kai. Sokka was still of the mind that he stood by his word even if it hurt, it was the harsh truth that Zuko needed to hear. The man had never withheld from spitting the painful truth before and Sokka had thought offering the same bluntness on the topic would have been more appreciated than dancing around it, but it would seem he was incorrect in that assumption and now he was wading through the waist deep mess he found himself in.
After everything they had gone through; the incidents with the Agni Kai, Fong’s interference with the trade agreement, Shin’s assassination attempt, the admission of Prince Ozai’s numerous attempts on Zuko’s life and so on, he had hoped that the soldier would have understood why Sokka had the feelings he had regarding this precarious situation. Of course, Sokka wanted Zuko to stay in the Southern Water Tribe, it was a selfish impulsive desire and he couldn’t exactly be faulted for wanting that, but this had nothing to do with his own hopes that his ferret would choose him in the end.
What Sokka feared most was the risks to Zuko’s life if he were to go back to the Fire Nation. Sokka could not, in any good conscience, allow him to go back to that La forsaken place as long as that bastard of a father remained waiting for Zuko to return. He understood that the soldier had a duty to his people and his family, he had a reason to go back even if it was a very slim one that was barely hanging on to the frayed ends of his hope, but walking back into a place where the man who was meant to protect his son had already, upon numerous occasions, attempted to take his life was a whole new level of insane. He needed the other man to understand that, to stop and see reason.
The warrior understood that come Spring, his hands were tied in regards to Zuko’s choice, but Sokka was forced to face this frustrating conundrum. He had to try. Which is what led him to stalking through the snowy paths of the village towards Hama’s hut, a million thoughts and words racing about his head as he tried to get his intentions in order, prepared and poised to speak his mind the first second he sees his fiery little ferret. At least with Hama, he wouldn’t need to censor himself as she was already more than aware of the whole very delicate situation involving the soldier and perhaps with her presence, they could both talk some sense into the man.
He stood before Hama’s hut, taking a deep breath to prepare himself before stepping inside with a brisk push of the door and shaking cold chill off. The heat of the hut hit him first accompanied by the pungent herbal aroma that stung his nostrils and made his throat feel a little dryer in the process. Clearing it with a light cough, he searched the building with a quick scan but only found Hama seated by her work space with a steaming mug at her side and a handful of dark brown bottles laid out in front of her that she was meticulously cataloging by the looks of it.
“Sokka.” She greeted him with a brief tilt of her head as she pursed her lips in thought and considered him. “What can I do for you?”
“Oh, um has Li already gone home for the day?” He asked a bit awkwardly, feeling like his firm footing had fallen right out from underneath him. If Li was back at Gran Gran’s then this whole confrontation would end up being ten times harder than he anticipated it being.
“He left for the day, but I don’t believe he was returning to Kanna’s. His mind seemed quite preoccupied with something that was burdening him.” She confirmed, causing Sokka to shift uneasily at the thought. So he probably went for a walk around the village to burn off steam which meant chances were he literally just missed the soldier.
“Thank you, Hama.” Sokka bid as he turned to leave, his shoulders hunched in alarm when Hama called to him in that knowing tone that pinned him in place.
“Sokka.”
His hand paused on the door, well aware that his chances of bolting to avoid whatever conversation was about to follow would end up with either his dad, Bato or Gran Gran hunting his ass down to grill him double time.
‘The misfortune of living in a small village where everybody talks to everybody.’ He sighed and turned around to face her raised brow. She nudged a seat out at her side and gave it a gentle pat with her wrinkled hands.
“Come have a seat.”
‘La damn it.’
Sokka stomped the snow off of his boots as he trudged into the hut and pulled his parka off as he already anticipated this was going to be a long one. As he settled into the seat, he bunched the fabric up in his lap as he waited for her to say her piece so he can go back to his ferret hunting. She gave him a long scrutinizing look that only made the large warrior shrink away under her sharp gaze before she asked with the utmost care.
"What did you two fight about this time?"
The tribesman opened his mouth to retort but then snapped it shut as he sighed and let his shoulders sag heavily. The heaving exhale that rushed out of him in defeat had him sagging into the seat as he corrected.
"It wasn't a fight."
She raised a singular skeptical white brow at that. Sokka lamented.
"It was just….a casual discussion that hit too close to a sensitive topic." He heaved out. "I've been trying to catch Li to talk about it but he's been avoiding me."
"Considering the fact he hasn't moved back in with me, I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume it wasn't nearly as bad as you might think it is."
Sokka was mildly hopeful at that but it wasn't enough to soothe his worries completely.
"So what was this discussion about?" Hama asked while reaching for her mug to take a sip. Sokka worked the thoughts over in his head as his hands fidgeted with the hem of his parka balled up in his lap.
"His decision in Spring." The warrior elaborated further. "He told me you had brought it up earlier that day and it had him in a peculiar mood. So we talked about it, about what might be waiting for him back in the Fire Nation."
The look Hama was giving him wasn't necessarily a good one and it only reminded him of all the scolding he got as a boy from his Gran Gran for saying or doing things he wasn't supposed to and knew better about. He shrank a little under her intense stare as she asked, her voice a measure of calm yet also terribly firm in that 'you're in trouble and you know it' way that he was dreading.
"What exactly did you say that upset Li so much?"
Sokka felt the rush of heat surge through his body in that way that made his stomach tighten up anxiously. He couldn't completely smother the nerves that accompanied being under someone else's scrutiny like this. Especially when it was one of the elders of their village. He squirmed and dropped his attention to his lap where he buried his fingers into the bunch fabric and explained, his had lowered with his growing uncertainty.
"We were talking about the fact he had no immediate duties that required his presence." Sokka recalled. "Aside from that, he mentioned that he couldn't abandon his family and I may have pointed out the fact that…." He sighed, then forced the words to come out for a second time now and he still felt like it needed to be said, but repeating them didn't stop the queasy feeling of guilt that stirred up at that. "...they abandoned him first."
"Sokka." Hama chided but he continued regardless. He pushed himself back up to his feet to pace and move about otherwise he felt like he was going to shrivel up on the spot or be sick if he had to remain idle as all these feelings surged to the surface. He dropped his parka in the seat and proceeded with his explanation.
"I know it's not my place to tell him where he can and can't go, but we were both there during Shin's trial." His voice rose with more determination as he carried on, pacing back and forth in front of Hama but never looking in her direction as he ranted. "The Fire Nation isn't a safe place for him. If his father could do all of that while under the noses of some of the most powerful people in the country and nobody stepped in to help him, how can we be certain that sending him back will ensure his safety? I can't stand by and agree with that decision. La curse him to a puffinseal's fate, I refuse to let him hurt Li again."
"Sokka." Hama sighed exasperated, but Sokka didn't cease his pacing to look up. He couldn't sit idle now, not when he was worked up like this. "I understand your concerns, but Li's circumstances are unique and we have to respect his decision at the end of the day. We have to permit him that choice."
"But how can you justify that when it's in immediate conflict with our practices?" Sokka pointed out. "A warprize is ours to care for from the moment we pick them up to the moment we deliver them to their final destination. Letting him go back to the Fire Nation is no different than leading him to a slumbering bear's den and fooling ourselves into believing he'll be safe. If anything happens to Li, that's on us for failing to acknowledge the threat that his father represents to his life. His mental, emotional and physical well being is at stake and I will not turn a blind eye towards that. Hiding behind technicalities because it's easier is a coward's choice."
"Sokka." Hama admonished sharply. "This decision is not yours to make, not as his caretaker and not as his friend." She sternly reminded him, which only felt like a punch to the gut that stalled him in his pacing as he turned to face her. "We cannot force Li to stay in the tribes. There is a fine line between keeping a prisoner and keeping a warprize, and if we refuse to let him return home, he is no longer a warprize and that goes against everything we stand for. Freedom of choice is important, and Li is a grown man capable of making his own decisions."
He felt the heat return, burning hot with a mix of anger and frustration as he stood his ground. Sokka took a deep breath and forced the racing thoughts that leapt to strike back at bay and focused. With care, he spoke his next words with unwavering conviction.
"The Southern Water Tribe upholds the tenets of caring for and managing a warprize as it is a symbol of our own pride and everything our people stand for in a community and as a culture. Having said that, two of those tenets are within direct conflict with themselves. We, as caretakers of a warprize, must ensure the safety of our charges, which we have shown time and again by ferrying prisoners from one location to the next, ensuring their safety even at their final destination before we depart from them." He recalled, as Hama nodded in agreement with that hard fact. "But we also must respect the decisions of our warprizes come Spring as it is their right and theirs alone."
Hama nodded again as she watched him with curiosity softening her old features. The shadows of the fire crackling in the center of the hut distorted her tired old eyes making her look far more aged than she was.
"If we respect Li's decision, we will be delivering him to a danger that we were already made intimately aware of. It came here to our tribe to do him harm, what's to stop them from finishing the job when he's in their territory far away from anyone willing to help him?" Sokka pointed out, measuring his words as he willed Hama to understand. "But if we refuse to deliver Li to his home come Spring, we defy our other tenet which is respecting the choices of our charges."
Sokka implored to the aged old healer. "Do you see the problem here? We can't have it both ways because they are in immediate conflict with themselves. How can you only choose to uphold one but ignore the other?"
"You're right." Hama agreed, bowing her head in a brief nod of sagely approval. Sokka was rearing to argue once more but the words died out on his lips as he stood there utterly gobsmacked by this admission. "This is a problem that we haven't had to face before and will need to amend in light of this new situation."
"Oh." Sokka straightened up, cheeks flushing warmly as Hama rose from her seat and approached him with a shuffling step as she smiled up at him. Despite his towering height above her, he couldn't help but feel like the sheepish young boy again as she reached up to cup his cheek and give it an affectionate pat.
"You're proving to be quite wise in your youth just like your father, Sokka. You'll make a good chief someday." She hummed and reached down to take Sokka's parka in hand and passed it over to the warrior as she continued. "I'll bring this concern before the elders and Chief Hakoda, as Li's primary caretaker."
It still hurt to be reminded that he was no longer in a position to be as involved in these matters when it came to Zuko as he used to. Any attempt on his part would probably be dismissed as Sokka simply meddling for some petty ridiculous reason and not something significant. He understood that from an outside perspective he might be a little too close to his warprize for others to take his concerns as legitimate when faced with his clear infatuation regarding Zuko. As stupid and frustrating as it is, he didn't let personal feelings dictate his choices but his youth and inexperience on the matter was taken more seriously than his ability to decide and come to these same conclusions that the older tribesmen could. As much as he hated the thought of sitting on the sidelines, he knew that if he wanted this issue addressed seriously without scrutiny in return, he had to rely on Hama to speak for him.
"Thank you." He breathed a sigh of relief and shrugged his parka on over his head. Hama waited for him and smiled easily as she gave his arm a thoughtful pat. "I'm genuinely worried about him, Hama. You saw how he was when he first arrived with us, I don't want to see him go back to that and know I could have helped him but I stood by because rules got in the way."
"I understand, Sokka." Hama assured him as they walked to the entrance of the hut. It was getting late and he should probably be heading back to Gran Gran's but he was still wound up and needed to blow off some steam and clear his head. If Zuko was back at the house, he needed to settle his thoughts before approaching him again.
As he departed from the hut and walked Hama back to her own small family home, Sokka continued to walk the winding snowy paths as darkness stretched across the clouded sky. Small flakes fell and danced on gentle gusts that stirred the fresh powder across the heavier damper snow mounds and swirled mischievously across the packed ground.
He headed towards Bato's hut with the intention of looping past the stables and winding his way back to Gran Gran's. His plan halted when he noticed that there were lanterns still on inside the stable with the amber light slipping through the cracks of the doors where a small draft curled through it. Peeking his head in, out of curiosity, he scanned the buffalo yaks as they grazed boredly in their stalls and caught the tail end of a familiar voice coming from the back of the building. Humpy was standing in his stall where the briefest flash of water tribe blue moved on the other side of him. It was far too small to be Bato and his dad often avoided the temperamental camel under the threat of being accosted by the displeased animal.
A part of Sokka told him he really should just turn around and leave and yet, he couldn't justify that after everything these last few days. He took a deep breath to calm the nervous flutter of his heart as he walked casually towards Humpy's stall. He heard the quiet strokes of a brush moving through the camel's coat with care. Taking up the second brush that hung on the outside post of Humpy's stall, Sokka stepped inside and proceeded to begin brushing the other side of the camel.
"Hey buddy." The warrior greeted, half speaking to the camel and half to Zuko if the man wished to talk to him back. It was an open invitation just as much as it was an opening to ignore him and pretend that Sokka wasn't here for him if he saw fit. It hurt to think about and made his stomach go tight and uncomfortable but it was a plain fact he had to account for in this situation. "Mind if I visit for a bit? Got something that's been weighing on my mind and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it."
The camel grunted his approval as he ran the brush along Humpy's shoulder and worked meticulously in his efforts, keeping his hands busy while he worked his thoughts over. He let the silence settle in the stall as Humpy pointedly ignored the two ridiculous humans hiding on either side of him from each other as if they weren't being so painfully obvious. Any other time, Sokka would have found humor in this situation but at the moment it was just the painful understanding that this was his only chance to say what he'd been meaning to for days.
"There's this ferret that I'm quite fond of, you might know him." Sokka began casually, his attention fixed on the camel as he went, occasionally stopping to clear the bristles of the brush before resuming his strokes. "He's fiery and cute but a little feral at times which just adds to the overall charm in my opinion."
Humpy grunted around the cud he was chewing away on as if answering his description with an obvious acknowledgement. Sokka smiled at that as the brushing strokes on the other side slowed their monotonous motions.
"You see, I said something to him that I think really upset him and I hadn't meant to hurt him. He is one of the most important people to me outside of my family and what I said was out of concern." Sokka sighed as he lamented to the camel, slowing his own strokes with the brush as he plucked the accumulated hairs off the bristles.
"He's had a really tough life and I only want him to be happy, but I'm afraid that he might end up getting hurt again." Sokka smoothed his palm along the camel's neck as he continued. "I love him even though I know someday he will leave. I understand he has a duty to his people, but I can't help but worry and want to protect him. This isn't my fight and it isn't my choice, but love isn't logical in its actions and caring about someone makes you say and do stupid things because you want them to live a good life."
Humpy turned to face him and swallowed down his cud before giving Sokka's shoulder a firm headbutt. The warrior raised his hands to cup the sides of the camel's face as he sighed and lowered his voice, taking on a more vulnerable note. "I don't know what to do, buddy. At this point, I don't even care if he goes to the Earth Kingdom or the Air Temples or anywhere else in the world. Even if he goes far away from me, I just pray to Tui and La that he doesn't go back there . Because I'm afraid of what might happen to him if he does."
The camel pressed its head firmly into his chest as he sighed and buried his fingers into the thicker winter coat. On the other side of Humpy, Zuko shifted his steps in the stale air of the stable. The cold draft gusted into the enclosure dragging a shiver out of the tribesman as it tickled at his neck and face where his hood didn’t cover. The heat of the camel’s body was a comforting warmth that he buried his bare fingers into and resumed the calming strokes of the brush at Humpy’s urging.
“Did I ever tell you about this big dorky platypus bear I met once?” Zuko’s voice rose in the quiet of the stalls, causing Sokka’s head to snap up at attention as he listened to the steadiness of his words and the casual way his tongue toyed with each syllable like he was recalling a fond story from a long time ago. The steady strokes of the soldier’s own brush worked in tandem with Sokka’s as he focused on the camel’s flank. “He’s sometimes really frustrating but he can also be cuddly and charming. I’m quite fond of his pillowy bosom, it’s like no other around.”
The breathy laugh that escaped the warrior was quiet, stifled as much as he could while still listening as he worked. Zuko continued undeterred.
“He comes from a place that is ridiculously cold but I’ve learned to love it for its simplistic beauty. The people are incredibly kind, the community is unimaginably supportive and his grandmother makes the best arctic hen in the whole world.” Zuko shifted his weight as he moved down towards the camel’s neck, drawing Sokka to hover closer but he withheld himself from peering around to catch a glimpse of the soldier’s expression, too afraid of breaking this tenuous peace they had fostered in the moment.
“The food could stand to have more spices, but I think I could learn to love it regardless.” Zuko continued easily as he worked along Humpy’s neck and the tuft-like mane, well, what portions he could actually reach from where he stood. “The people are so passionate and caring, it's unlike anywhere I’ve ever been and it's a place I wouldn’t mind calling home someday.”
There was a pause as Zuko’s brush stilled and a defeated exhale escaped him in a shaky breath. Sokka felt his heart jump in his chest with a hopeful spring forward as he teetered a little closer, straining to hear what came next. His eyes searched the shadow of his ferret that was cast across the straw bedded floor in the lantern light.
“I do love it here and I love him more than I’ve ever loved another person in my life. I feel like a person and not a prince when I’m with them and it feels freeing in a way that I can’t have back home, but these desires are selfish. There is no room for them where my duty to my own people takes precedence.” Humpy turned his head to give the soldier a headbutt this time in an affectionate nudge to comfort him.
“I understand that my platypus bear is worried about me, but if I want to give my people a life worth living with a future that could potentially provide them with the same freedom and sense of community and peace that this one has, then I must try for their sake. Even if it comes at the cost of my own safety, it’s a risk that’s worthwhile.” Zuko shifted his stance, taking that extra step to reach around the camel and meet Sokka’s eyes as he spoke directly to him for the first time in days.
“I have something that my people do not. My voice has power and I have an ear that is willing to listen. I’m done spending my life hiding in the background.” He reached out to catch the sleeve of Sokka’s parka and drew them closer as they now stood on the same side of the camel. The warrior realized he was holding his breath but as he watched Zuko’s approach as they closed the distance until they were almost chest to chest with his ferret’s striking golden eyes beaming up at him with a burning sense of determination that he recognized and could respect.
“I wish I could stay, Sokka, but my people need a voice to stand up for them. This war needs to stop and things have to change in order for it to get better. Your people have shown me what a life worth living is like, you’ve given me a reason to keep fighting again and for that I’m indebted to you.” His eyes dropped to their hands as Zuko’s fingers found Sokka’s free hand and curled around them. Sokka let Zuko take the lead and set the pace as he followed his every move and obliged his quiet request for a connection. “I really do love you but unfortunately our people’s needs have taken us in two different directions.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way.” Sokka realized just how fragile his own voice sounded in his ears as he whispered those words into the stifling silence of the stable. “I could come with you.”
Zuko shook his head slowly, sadly as he gave the warrior a weak smile. “I couldn’t ask you to make that sacrifice, Sokka. I have no right to and I can’t justify taking you away from your tribe and your family when they need you.”
“You don’t have to ask, I’m offering.” Sokka urged, but Zuko only shook his head.
“You’re going to make a good chief someday, Sokka. You’re passionate for your people and patient and wise, and your creativity in how you see the world will carry your people into a brighter future.” Zuko lifted their hands together as their fingers interlocked and Sokka squeezed his hand back as he searched for the right words to convince his little ferret to stay, but as each reason rose to his lips, poised to strike, the look in the soldier’s eyes snuffed them out. Zuko was unwavering in his decision and Sokka only felt his fragile foundations beginning to shatter as he tried to find solid ground to back up his argument.
“Please, Zuko.” Sokka pleaded but Zuko only smiled bittersweetly at him. “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t lose me.” Zuko assured him easily. “You’ll always have me, even when we’re apart. Perhaps someday when things settle down, you could come visit me and I could show you the parts of my home and my culture that I love.”
His words failed to find purchase as Sokka’s shoulders only sagged in total defeat. He nodded slowly and offered his ferret a weak smile in return. “I’d love to.” All the while, Sokka wanted to scream at the top of his lungs about how that day may never happen if Ozai has his way but the warrior was too tired to keep up this battle. He felt burnt out and worn thin. The fear that if he pushed too much, if he stressed too hard on this topic, he could lose Zuko for good was a constant phantom in the back of his mind. If his ferret had already made his choice and Spring was rapidly approaching, he only had so much time left to cherish these last few weeks before Zuko leaves and Sokka will be left behind once more. The grief of that choice felt like a blade piercing his heart but he put on a brave face and forced a tired smile for Zuko’s sake as he nodded in quiet agreement.
The nearly suffocating tension was broken quite dramatically as Humpy gave a disapproving huff and headbutted Zuko’s back forcing the soldier to lose his balance and fall into Sokka. The warrior’s arms jerked to catch him and steady him on his feet as the camel grunted and shot them an annoyed look at the abrupt halt in his grooming. Zuko let out an amused chuckle of his own as the camel shaped interference offered a new distraction, drawing the soldier’s attention away from Sokka as the warrior blinked away the residual burn in his eyes and the aching ball in his throat that made it that much harder to swallow. He watched the smaller man turn to address Humpy’s displeasure, providing ample affection to soothe the camel’s grumpy mood as Sokka let out a shaky breath and took the very appreciated and well timed opportunity to compose himself.
They finished with Humpy’s grooming and hung the brushes back up on the post hooks before Sokka snuffed the lanterns and guided Zuko back to Gran Gran’s house for the night. The hour was late and with nightfall came a ghostly chill that crept under the scant protection of their clothes and left the soldier shivering with his arms braced around himself. Sokka had half a thought to offer his arm to tuck the man up against his side and provide a little extra warmth before pausing to reconsider the affectionate gesture. He still wasn’t sure where they stood once more and whether his affections would be so swiftly accepted again so he just let their shoulders gently brush in a silent offer. The soldier didn’t reciprocate it right away, seeming oblivious to the gesture until a minute passed and he huddled closer to Sokka’s side.
The warrior slung his arm around the soldier’s shoulders and felt that painful ache in his chest return once more as his thoughts raced and revisited those tired old worries. If Zuko was dead set on leaving, could Sokka continue to act as if nothing was going to change? Would it even be smart to proceed under that guise while knowing full well just how much more painful it was going to become when that dreaded day came?
He truly didn’t know and that was the most distressing thing about it. As much as he wanted to hold tightly to Zuko and what they had right now, it felt like gripping a dagger at the wrong end. He was only going to get more hurt the longer and harder he held on. The thought alone of letting him go was enough to make him feel sick to his stomach with unease.
Notes:
Hakoda: "Nobody just goes to the stables to talk."
Sokka and Zuko: *goes to the stables to talk and have therapy hour with Humpy*
Hakoda: "....."
Water Tribe Slang:
'La curse him to a puffinseal's fate.'
Translation: "I hope he takes a warclub to the head."
My updates are going to be slower for my fics as I'm in the process of moving houses over the next few weeks. I thank you all for keeping up with this fic so far and continuously commenting and supporting my works. It means a lot to me. ^.^
Chapter 47
Summary:
Another look back at the Fire Nation royal family.
Notes:
Sorry this chapter is really short compared to other Fire Nation chapters I've done, but there is only so much I can do without giving too much away. As we get closer to the end, we're going to have more frequent Fire Nation chapters popping up. The gears are in motion yall and we're racing towards the finish line.
Chapter Text
No matter how exhausted Iroh was, he couldn't bring himself to neglect his brotherly duties of checking on Ozai. The morning had hit a surprisingly peaceful lull as he wandered the garden to decompress after visiting his father at the crack of dawn to tend to him at his bedside.
Between managing his father's advisors, handling his own responsibilities delegated to him by the Firelord and tending to his father, the morning seemed to fly by and Iroh was left reeling as he found a rare moment to himself and only felt numb relief. It didn't comfort him any to realize just how callous he has become these days, or how he might appear to his son and niece as he rushed about with blank faced stoicism in every encounter. He tried to find the extra energy to spare for a reassuring smile or a kind word but they always seemed thin and wispy.
So today he had disengaged from all the hustle and bustle and spent some time near the turtleduck pond as he observed the breeding pair caring for their own nest and eagerly awaiting the new batch of ducklings to come into this world.
Feeling a little better about the day, Iroh's casual stroll through the palace had taken him to the wing that his brother resided in. The older man hadn't expected to see his brother's door be thrown open so swiftly as Ozai darted out of it like a man being pursued by Agni himself, as he stumbled in his steps and fumbled against the wall to catch himself. He lurched into the next doorway that led to the bathroom and haphazardly attempted to shut the door in his haste. Alarmed, Iroh had followed and noticed the door was still slightly ajar as he heard the violent retching that assaulted his brother. He attempted to politely ignore the noise as he lingered just outside, a knot of worry curled in his chest as he listened to the younger man's gutted groan of misery.
He waited until Ozai seemed to compose himself enough to attempt to leave, but the heavy thud that followed drew Iroh to peer inside and check on his brother. Ozai was shivering as he curled up on the floor with a moan of pain with his hair tangled in sweat damp locks around his face. The thin linen shirt he wore was similarly soaked and clinging to his skin as he laid there sprawled across the cold stones with great gasps of breath filling his lungs in shaky rasps.
He had his arms wrapped around himself as he tucked his knees closer to his chest. As Iroh reached for his brother to gain his attention, the Agni awful whimper that escaped his chest was gut wrenching as he choked around another gasp. "I didn't want you to leave…" Iroh could see the way his brother's lip quivered as he pleaded, his voice wavering as he tried to force each miserable word out before it cracked. "I needed you here. I needed you, Ursa."
A tear streaked down Ozai's cheek and fell off the tip of his nose as it landed on the cold stone. Iroh couldn't stomach seeing his brother like this, trembling on a bathroom floor looking so broken and defeated.
"Ozai." He called gently, softening his voice with sympathy for the man whom he shared so little for lately. Ozai answered with a quiet sniffle as he continued to shiver against the floor like a soaking wet and completely stunned cat dragged from a river. He was boneless and unmoving as he held himself the way Zuko used to when he was a boy. "Come on brother, let's get you back to bed."
Iroh gave his shoulder a gentle nudge but trying to get his brother to become autonomous was a struggle in and of itself. He managed to direct Ozai into sitting upright at least as he loosened his tightly tucked ball and sat with his knees sprawled out at the side. His head hung in defeat as he tucked his arms more firmly around himself and rocked gently to himself as he sucked in a shuddering breath. The tears continued to fall fast as the younger man hid behind the messy curtain of his hair like he used to when he was little and something had clearly upset him. Iroh reached out to catch his brother's jaw like he used to, and directed his attention as he asked with the utmost care.
"What is wrong, brother? You can tell me."
Those golden eyes were so distant and unfocused at first before he blinked the tears away and his face scrunched up in that way that Zuko always seemed to when he was despairing over how to approach a troubling topic. The echoes of his son were strong in Ozai, but were unfortunately only present when his emotions got the better of the normally stoic man.
"Why did she have to leave?" Ozai asked. "We made a promise, she promised to stay by my side always. Why did she have to go, Iroh? Didn't she know I loved her?" Every other word was a gasp as he spiraled towards a coughing fit that stole his breath before the coughing was almost indistinguishable with the chest wracking sobs that cracked through the younger man. It was terrible to sit through and watch his brother fall apart like this, as he succumbed to whatever this strange illness was that had taken him in a similar fashion that had besieged their father. Perhaps it was a sickness of the spirit afflicted by the grief his brother was faced with, or perhaps it was something more they weren't quite seeing. Either way, it pained Iroh that he couldn't help his brother escape it.
"Where is Zuko?" Ozai asked, dragging a look of startled confusion out of Iroh as he furrowed his brows in bewilderment. The tears on his brother's face raced rapidly down his cheeks and further soaked and spotted his shirt front as he begged for answers with single minded desperation. His hands reached out to grip Iroh's robe front as he leaned on the older man like a life line and refused to loosen it for a moment when Iroh attempted to extricate his brother's fingers.
"Why hasn't he come home? She loved him and he hasn't gone home to her. It would make them both happy if he would go home to her. Maybe there we could all be happy, for just once." Ozai's head hung as he devolved into another chest aching sob and sagged into his brother's arms. Iroh opened them to instead embrace the trembling man as his hands rested on his brother's back to comfort him. He did not miss the way Ozai's skin seemed far too hot beneath his touch to be comforting.
"I know you're upset, Ozai." Iroh tried to speak through whatever fog had filled his brother's head. "But time will help heal these painful wounds. Come brother, let me take you back to bed. You should rest. A man needs his rest."
Iroh wasn't expecting the brittle far too quiet voice of his brother's to reach his ear as he asked, echoing the words of an Ozai, far too young and frightened to be anyone but the brother Iroh once loved dearly so long ago. "Are you going to leave me too, Iroh?"
"You are my brother." Iroh answered simply. "We are family."
"Father is leaving us." Ozai returned, still just as quiet as a meadow vole. "Mother left us. Ursa left me and Zuko…." He choked off as his head rested heavily against his brother's shoulder. Iroh tried to comfort him as he brushed his fingers through his brother's hair and sighed.
"You are my brother, Ozai." Iroh explained carefully as he enunciated every word to ensure he understood. "I will not abandon you."
Iroh's words were met with silence, whether that was a good thing or not was unclear but the older Prince didn't dwell on it long. "Come, can you stand up?"
He lowered his hands to cup his brother's forearms as he knelt in preparation of rising back to his feet. Ozai followed slowly with shaky legs that struggled to keep him upright for long. With Iroh on one side and Ozai able to brace the wall as he moved, he was able to slowly guide his brother back to his room. Thankfully nobody was in the halls when they left, permitting a meager bit of privacy in a place full of far too many prying eyes and callous whispers.
Never had Iroh ever seen his brother so feeble and vulnerable before. His legs were wobbly as he struggled to stay upright and the strength in his hands was nothing like Iroh recalled as Ozai held onto his wrist for a modicum of extra support and security. Iroh kept a sturdy arm around his brother's waist on the chance his legs do collapse on him which led to the younger man leaning most of his alarmingly boney body weight into his older brother. It was quite awkward with the notable size difference between them hindering the ease of movement and progress, but eventually they made it to Ozai's door and pushed it open.
The blankets on his bed were tossed about in disarray, presumably by the man's frantic attempt to reach the bathroom before he was sick. He guided his brother to the edge of the bed and held his hands until he was resting on the mattress. Ozai seemed reluctant to let go of Iroh's grasp as he stared at his brother with that unfocused look in his eyes once more.
"Lay back, Ozai." Iroh urged gently, giving his brother a nudge to comply. It was delayed but he eventually conceded and lifted his legs to tuck them under the blankets as Iroh arranged them to comfortably cover his brother's shivering form. "Good." Iroh hummed approvingly as he watched his little brother sink into the pillows. With his hair falling out of his face, he looked so terribly pale with his cheeks hollowed and ashen, contrasted only by the dark circles under his eyes as they turned sunken with exhaustion and a startlingly apparent loss of weight sharpening the angles of his face.
Ozai swallowed dryly as he stared up at his brother with so much confusion. The corner of his mouth trembled as red ringed eyes turned damp with returning tears that crowded the once bright amber. Iroh squeezed his brother's hand as he tried to comfort him with a quiet question.
"How about I make us some tea, Ozai? Would you mind sharing a pot with me?" The little tremor in his brother's shoulders and the shaky rise of his chest were a poorly stifled attempt to calm himself as he nodded curtly. "I promise to be back shortly. I won't be gone long, okay brother?"
Another eerily silent nod of his head was Iroh's only answer but his brother was terribly reluctant to release the weak grip on his hand as he held onto Iroh with both hands out of sheer desperation. It took several minutes for him to successfully extricate himself from his brother's hold, and carded the hair out of Ozai's face, tucked the blankets around his hips and sides and then offered one more promise to return swiftly to ease his brother's paranoid fears.
While the tea was brewing, he passed along the orders to the staff and Lu Ten, that he shouldn’t be bothered whatsoever unless it is an absolute emergency. Everything should be managed by his son, and if anyone was conflicted about whether it counted as an emergency, it should go through Lu Ten regardless and he will pass it along to his father if he deemed it important enough for his attention. With that out of the way, he gathered the tea cups onto a tray and set the pot of tea upon it, and collected the pai sho board and small decorative red pouch filled with the tiles for it. He tucked it into the pocket of his robe, tucked the board under his arm and carried the tray back to his brother’s room.
When he entered, Ozai was still right where he left him with the addition of drying tears glistening on his cheeks. Iroh met his brother with a reassuring smile as he tried for an ounce of joy in his voice to console him.
“I told you I’d be back shortly.” He proudly declared as he gestured at the teapot with a curt tilt of his head. “And I brought that special blend of lemon jasmine tea you like.”
He set the tray on the bedside table as he arranged a few things around to make space so it wouldn’t slip or fall then set the pai sho board on the end of the bed. He poured a cup of tea for his brother to sip at first and hoped the warm drink would help ease both his stomach and whatever nerves were upsetting him.
“Here you are, brother.” He situated the cup in Ozai’s hands and waited to ensure he had a secure enough grasp that it wouldn’t spill. The subtle tremors in his hands were only noticeable by the ripples in the liquid as he lifted it to his lips for a small sip. Satisfied, he stepped around his brother’s bed to take up the other side where he set the pai sho board up within easy reach, setting it atop the smoothed out blankets as he laid the tiles in their respective places in a game the way they used to play when they were both just children.
When Iroh was finished setting it up, he took a moment to make his own cup of tea before settling down on the bed facing his brother with the board between them. He took a sip to savor the flavor and noticed that Ozai seemed to be a little more alert now as he inspected the pai sho board over the rim of his cup before setting it in his lap, cradled in his palms with care not to spill it.
“I thought a game might help if you’re feeling up for it.” Iroh informed him with a soft sympathetic smile.
Ozai nodded quietly in agreement and reached a hesitant hand towards the board to move one of the tiles into play to kick it off. Iroh observed the move and was relieved that he wasn’t so out of it that he couldn’t make sense of the board in front of him. He took his time in picking his own tile and laying it down in the new position. It set a comfortable pace between them as Ozai focused on the game and sipped at his tea in between plays. Iroh was patient with his brother when he seemed delayed or confused at times, but he would eventually figure out the direction he wanted to go and set it down.
When he finished his cup, he set it back on the tray on the side table and laid one hand lazily over his chest. His breathing was a little quicker despite being at rest and there was a noticeable rasp in his lungs that drew the older prince’s attention. His head would loll when his focus would drift and his brother would close his eyes and breathe a little faster through what he could only assume was a spell of some sort, be it dizziness or nausea, he wasn’t sure but Ozai would take a few minutes to compose himself with his chin resting against his shoulder as he nudged another tile across the board.
They were halfway through the game when a quiet knock came on the door, startling Ozai as he sluggishly lifted his head to search the entrance with an agonizing sort of hopefulness in his eyes.
“Who is it?” Iroh called out, concealing his annoyance at the sudden interruption.
“Azula.” His niece called back with uncertainty.
“Come in, Azula.” Iroh beckoned when he noticed the slight shift in Ozai’s posture as he straightened up a little more to greet his daughter.
She peeked into the room when the door was opened just far enough to slip inside and peered at the two older men. “Lu Ten told me father wasn’t feeling well. I just wanted to check on him.” She explained with nervous uncertainty when she searched their faces. There was a look of shock, punctuated by the briefest pause in her words when her eyes fell on her father’s sorry state.
“I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”
Ozai reached his hand out towards her and beckoned weakly for her to join him by his side. “Com’ere La-La.” He called softly, his voice gravelly in his throat as she approached, clicking the door shut softly behind her and joined him by his side, taking a moment to clamber up the center of the bed to sit on the inside of it in a fashion that she used to when she was just a little girl and would tuck herself under her father’s arm while they spent time at Ember Island. The light warmed in his brother’s eyes as he looked upon his daughter with so much sadness and relief that seeped from him as he sagged into the pillows and relished in the way she leaned against him.
“How are you feeling?” Azula asked as she scanned her father with a critical eye and frowned with worry. She was answered with a noncommittal grunt and the smallest hitch in his shoulders that he could offer. Ozai looked so terribly tired but he was keeping up a more animated front for his daughter, either that or seeing her had inspired some small spark of motivation in the man after everything that was happening in their family right now.
“Would you like to keep playing, Ozai?” Iroh asked, gesturing at the board as he inspected the fact his playing hand was now busy holding his daughter in a half hug against his side.
“You and La-La can play.” He admitted tiredly. “I can just watch.”
“You sure father?” He hummed approvingly and held his head up to inspect the rearrangement of the pieces as Iroh set the board back up to the start for a fresh game.
“Would you like a cup of tea, Azula?”
“No thank you, Uncle.” She dismissed with a small wave and played her first piece. She wasn’t on par with Zuko’s skills yet when it came to pai sho, but she was pretty sharp nonetheless and a far better opponent than her father provided on a good day, which was a welcome change for Iroh when roping his various family members into playing with him.
Each move from his niece came far quicker than her father as she worked her way strategically across the board, a few times nearly stumping Iroh in how to evade her tactics. He supposed it has been sometime since he last played Azula, and from the looks of some of these decisions, she may have been brushing up on her pai sho skills with Lu Ten as she utilized a favored strategy by his own son against him. He smirked in amusement as he turned the strategy to his favor and reorganized his ranks to lay a well placed trap.
Ozai watched with only half of his attention fixed on the game and the other half seemed distracted by the sheer exhaustion he seemed to be fighting against just to stay awake a little longer to watch his daughter and his brother. A few more plays resolved a victory for Iroh but not without a little bit of a hitch as he nearly lost it to Azula. She was one move off from taking him in the end, and he was quite impressed by that. The surprise on her face as she scrunched her nose in thought in that way that was quite endearing and reminiscent of her innocent youth drew a warm laugh from Iroh’s chest as he smiled at his niece.
A quiet laugh left Ozai’s chest in return as he smiled weakly towards the two, but his head was nodding off with little success in thwarting it.
“I believe it’s time for your father to get some rest.” Iroh quietly announced, which Azula agreed with a firm nod and turned to press a kiss to her father’s brow. Ozai reached a hand to caress her cheek with a soft smile before sinking back into the pillows with the blankets drawn up higher to his shoulders by his daughter. She wiggled off the end of the bed as Iroh collected the tiles and the board, which Azula took in her hand so he could gather the tea set. She trailed behind him and nudged the door open for Iroh to slip through as both royals peered back inside in one last check on the unwell prince and heard the quiet rasp and hitch in his breathing as he surrendered to the pull of sleep.
Once they were out in the hall, Azula walked quietly at Iroh’s side, holding the pai sho board tight against her chest as her own breathing came out the slightest bit uneven in that way that told the older man that she was trying desperately to keep herself together and retain that calm facade she was so well practices in harnessing like her mother. When they were far enough away from Ozai’s room, Iroh paused, ensuring with a quick scan that they were completely alone before asking.
“How are you holding up?”
She took a deep breath to prepare herself but that didn't help her find her voice as she gave a small nod to her uncle. Azula was trying so hard to keep it together and it pained Iroh to see her struggling so much, and unable to just let it out. She shifted her footing and fumbled the board between her fingers to find a distraction just to avoid meeting his eyes as she tried to regain her poise, but the flickering rise of her gaze met Iroh's and all of that carefully crafted front shattered like fragile glass as the tears started to spring forth.
Iroh adjusted his hold on the tray so it was balanced in one hand as he offered her a one armed hug to try and comfort her. "It'll be alright." The older man assured with a quiet hum.
"I can't lose him too." Azula stifled the way her voice wavered by drawing in a quick breath and exhaling it in the phantom of the same exercises Zuko often utilized for meditation and calming his frazzled nerves. A trick he had originally taught his nephew so long ago that was bittersweet now in the way his sister clung to it to shoulder this goliath burden she was forced to carry.
"We'll do everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen." Iroh comforted. "I'm going to speak to the doctors and they'll help your father, or be able to tell us how we could help him ourselves." He massaged his hand along her back and patted it firmly as she stepped closer until her face was tucked against her Uncle's shoulder to cry silently into. "Just pray for him and support him, Azula. That's all we can do right now."
"I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." She admitted miserably, her words garbled only a bit by the bunched fabric of Iroh's robes as she pressed into him and let her shoulders shake as she hunched herself against him in a futile attempt to curl into her uncle's arms like she would so long ago. Unfortunately for him, she may have slightly outgrown those days as Iroh met her teary amber eyes with the warmest smile he could offer his niece.
"Would you like to come with me to discuss with the doctors?" He extended the offer. He understood if she didn't have the energy left to keep all of this up, he wouldn't fault her for her own limitations, but he wanted to offer it regardless to give her a sense of having a little more control and sway in these things. Of being useful and productive instead of dwelling in the insufferable mindset of helplessness as she is forced to, yet again, sit on the sidelines and watch another loved one suffer and slip through her fingers without any chance of saving them or the ability to even try in the first place.
He waited patiently for her little nod of agreement before she straightened up and hastily wiped her tears from her face and composed herself with a few deep slow breaths to steady her breathing. Iroh smiled up at her as he waited and gave her shoulder a comforting pat and an approving hum.
"We'll get through this together, Azula. You won't be alone, I promise."
Her bittersweet smile was a frayed and tired gesture with what little effort she could offer right now. Iroh didn't begrudge her that as they both composed themselves and prepared to face the rest of the world together.
Chapter 48
Summary:
Sokka and Hakoda have a heart to heart.
Sokka does something drastic.
Notes:
This chapter is a little shorter than the usual, because the scene I had planned next would be way too long to fit, and also would disrupt some of the flow. So this is shorter but here it is nonetheless. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
Hakoda was a bit conflicted after hearing from both Bato and now also Hama, about Sokka's recent mishap regarding the Prince. The way Bato explained it, Hakoda had been worried that he'd need to sit down and have a stern talk with his son about crossing boundaries so boldly, but after Hama approached him on Sokka's behalf, he understood why his son was doing what he had.
There was a glaring problem within their tribe that they needed to sort out and Sokka had noticed it long before the rest of them had. In a way, it was an impressive display of self awareness while the rest of the elders and himself included, had become concerningly blind to the very tenets they had been trying to uphold and press upon the pair. Sokka noticed and was trying his best to approach it in the only way he could given the circumstances of this situation. Seeking out Hama on the subject was a smart move on his son's part, and it pained Hakoda at the very fact that Sokka even felt he needed to go to those lengths instead of seeking Hakoda or Kanna out directly.
Considering their past problems and conversations, he realized belatedly that they might not have expressed a very willing ear towards the younger man when it came to Zuko. They dismissed his concerns as entirely personal interference when time and again, Sokka has proven himself to be mindful of it, not because of the feelings he had towards Zuko, but because he was trying to meet their expectations and do right by the tribe and not just himself.
He felt guilty that his son had been put into this difficult position in the first place, and Hakoda was one of the worst offenders in treating him this way. Sokka was right, he can't expect his son to be a good leader and a good chief while still treating him like an irresponsible child, because he most certainly wasn't. Sokka was self aware and creative, he was compassionate and devoted to his people, and so very passionate about the things he loved and enjoyed dearly. He was fierce when he stood his ground and could be as unwavering as an iceberg when it came to what mattered most. Sokka was everything their people embodied in one young heart and yet still so easily wounded without the knowledge of when to harden that heart.
So as he walked the snowy paths of the village towards his mother’s home, he worked the words around in his head that he wished to say to his son. They needed to have a talk about what course of action they could possibly take to solve this issue with as few problems to result in the end as possible. He wanted to show Sokka that he was listening and that he did care. He wanted Sokka to know he could rely on his father, even if Hakoda didn’t always make that as apparent as he would like.
The day wasn’t too terribly cold with a muted sunlight peeking through the thicker clouds that started to part in the afternoon sky. The wind danced idly from time to time, sending the soft powder of snow on the top most layers of the recent snowfall to swirl about the paths before settling. It was comfortable enough to be out in and work as long as they sat in the sunlight and avoided the cooler shade. In different parts of the village, children had emerged from the warm cozy interior of their humble homes to play and run about. A couple polar dogs raced around to chase after them and ensure the children’s safety.
As he neared the edge of the village, he could catch the distant squawking of the otter penguins as they swarmed the shoreline down by the docks. Their noisy raucous was softened by the distance and carried ever so lightly on the wind that reached his mother’s home. All in all, it was a predictable enough afternoon for his liking.
That was, until he gazed up at the large dark blue huddled shape perched atop his family home. His son was on the roof, because of course for some La forsaken reason Sokka had climbed onto the roof to sit in the ankle deep snow that had collected up there. Judging by the large lumps that had toppled down from where his boots had knocked it free along with half a dozen large icicles that had been hanging from the eaves, he had been up there for a little while. Long enough to clear a spot around himself as he settled near the peak and stared blankly off in the distance facing the shoreline.
Hakoda veered off the path to trek into the knee deep drifts that gathered against the back of the house and dipped down beneath the eaves. He couldn't really tell how in the world his son managed to climb up there but he was simultaneously impressed and concerned as to why he had decided to take a cue from Li's book. Heights were not his son's strong suit, aside from maybe climbing masts and trees, but he had the security of ropes and far easier footholds than the roof supplied. Especially when it was covered in a thin layer of ice that concealed much of the roof before the snow had covered it. Chunks of the layer had shattered and broken away under the weight of Sokka's boots making for uneasy climbing that was one bad slip from sending the young man to the ground with a hard thump. It didn't comfort Hakoda any upon seeing all the sharp ice below his son's perch.
"Do I need to have Bato retrieve the ladder again?" He called up to his son with a gentle tease with the hopes of breaking through the stoicism that had shielded his expression in the cold afternoon air. Sokka let out a slow breath that escaped him in a cloud of white as he blinked and lowered his squinting eyes to search the whiteout landscape for the culprit interrupting his reverie.
"I'm not stuck." He blanched at his father as his expression smoothed to something tired and contemplative. "Li built a snow ramp that leads up here."
Hakoda watched as Sokka tossed his hand over his shoulder and hiked his thumb in the direction of this odd snow ramp. Curious, he followed the trodden footsteps in the snow around the side of the building to find the ramp in question. It was exactly what Sokka had described. A very large ramp of snow sloping up towards the roof where any interested person could easily climb up atop it. Hakoda slotted the toes of his boots into the frozen foot and handholds dug into the slope and climbed up to where Sokka sat silently near the peak.
There was plenty of space for the chief to carefully crouch and make his way across the sodden rooftop to where his son was seated and settled into the space that was partially cleared of snow from where Sokka had restlessly shifted about. It occurred to Hakoda that this was becoming a repetitive thing with this pair of them getting him to sit in the freezing cold snow for heart to heart conversations. He tucked his knees closer to himself to get comfortable and folded his hands between them as he spoke up to break the silence that Sokka appeared uninterested in dismissing first.
"You seem troubled." It wasn't a question but Hakoda knew it didn't need to be for Sokka to answer him in the way his shoulders sagged with their own weight of defeat.
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." His son admitted softly, his voice crumbling under the pressure of all the things banging around in his head like the ominous drums of an approaching battle he felt unprepared to fight. It was a feeling his father could sympathize with and had fought on his own time and again. It was a kindred struggle that often only found a solution when the burden was shared with others. A lighter load made for a clearer mind.
"Hama informed me that there is an issue with the tenets our tribe upholds." Hakoda shared the thought in the open as Sokka nodded jerkily.
"With Li, it is within direct conflict of itself." He confirmed with a tired grunt. "I've tried to talk to him about it but he is determined to stay his course. I don't know how else to help him."
"Sokka." Hakoda started but Sokka shook his head as his voice trembled with the weight of uncertainty.
"Dad, I don't need another lecture right now." He interrupted as he let out a shaky sigh. "I just-" His shoulders slumped. "I need help. Li needs help, and I don't think I can help him like this. I can't, in good conscience, stand by and watch him walk off to certain death and just pretend to be happy for him. I'd be betraying him if I did."
Sokka massaged his palms across his knees in anxious back and forth motions. Sometimes his hands would stop as cold fingers dug into the thicker fabric before resuming the nervous motions. His eyes never met the chief's as Sokka kept his gaze forward as if that was all his son had left to hold himself together. His gaze searched the distant shoreline where the ocean met the dark line of rocky soil spotted with the lazy lounging humps of puffinseals and the pale blips of otter penguin bellies.
It had been a very long time since he last saw his son this distraught about something. Not since Sokka was a little boy struggling to hold himself together in the aftermath of Kya's death. He put on a brave face and pretended it didn't hurt him as much as it did. Hakoda remembered just how heartbroken he was to see his little boy trying so hard to be a man for his sister and grandmother.
But now, Sokka was a man and try as he might to don that brave face once more, he had enough self awareness to reach out and ask for help from those around him. He had certainly grown up and Hakoda was both very proud and incredibly sad to see those years had slipped through his grasp so quickly.
"I understand." Hakoda calmly assured his son. "I understand that you care about Li, and you've always had his best interest at heart."
Sokka perked up at his father's words and for the first time in days, his eyes met Hakoda's with a brief flicker of hope and a painfully desperate type of yearning that hurt the chief to see directed at him. Because it only cemented the fact he had failed as a father to be there for his son when he needed him most, and his absence left Sokka free falling as he grasped blindly for anyone else willing to catch him instead.
"So," Hakoda continued, "what is your plan to fix this problem?"
He swallowed nervously and lowered his gaze to the sparsely snow scattered eaves as he stared past to the drifts that cluttered the ground below. Sokka's boots were resting on the very ledge with the heels wedged in to give him a little extra support on the slope as he considered his thoughts.
"I don't know." He finally admitted with a shaky breath that escaped him sharply. Hakoda knew that feeling intimately as well, and had found his own share of long nights facing down insecurity on whether or not he was doing what was right, or if what he was doing was enough to get them by. It was a balancing act that weighed him down like anchors buried in the sand pulling against every step of progress he tried to make. It was a struggle, but one he was forced to realize, he didn't need to face alone.
"Alright, let's think on it together. I'm sure with both of us, we could think up something useful." Sokka gave a small shrug in answer as he frowned against the cold wind that danced through his hair and nipped his cheeks a rosy red.
"Why don't you start by telling me how you approached Li on this subject before? We can build from there." Sokka let the words stew a bit as he finally collected his thoughts long enough to focus all of his attention on the simpler task of recollection. It helped ease some of the anxiety from his son's posture as he straightened up and fidgeted his hands together in his lap. He told Hakoda about everything, from what started this whole issue the night of the dance, right down to Li's contentment with them just being friendly and comfortable with each other like they used to be, at least until the day he finally leaves.
"And that's the worst part." Sokka sounded crestfallen in his admission. "I don't know if I can take it, going day by day like this pretending like things never changed while knowing he will leave and I can't do anything to protect him. It feels like I'm just lying to myself, and to him and I'm disgusted with myself for it."
He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled it slowly with a shaky sigh. "I can't just pretend everything will be alright when I know it won't be. When I know how bad things are. I can't make myself just be happy for him when his life is in danger."
Hakoda wrapped an arm around Sokka's shoulders as he tucked his son comfortingly against his side like he used to do all those years ago. Of course Sokka had grown much bigger which made this whole angle a little harder to swing but he tried his best as he held his boy and sighed.
"This was what I was afraid might happen." He admitted as Sokka let himself sag against his father and hung his head in defeat. The young warrior squeezed his eyes shut as he dragged in one slow calming breath after another but he couldn't hide the way the corner of his mouth quivered or the little shudder in his shoulders as he tried to hold himself together by rapidly fraying threads.
"You know, I'm really proud of the man you've become Sokka." He began, smoothing his hand along his son's shoulder and side to sooth him. "The hardest part of being a chief and being a leader is recognizing when drastic measures can and should be taken. Sometimes that can be weighing the odds between whether to value the lives of the hunting party against those of the village. It's a delicate balance of risk and reward, and sometimes those clearly defined lines can become blurred and hard to make out."
Sokka lifted his head just a fraction against Hakoda's shoulder as he listened to his father speak softly. His voice was a measure of comfort, not harsh, but contemplative and open. It urged his son to listen and soak in everything he had to say because this was important for him to hear.
"This situation is one of those times where those lines are hard to tell apart and you've managed to find them and expose them for others to see. You're right about this problem but how you approach it will be the deciding factor."
Sokka straightened up a little as he studied his father with a mixture of surprise and bewilderment. Hakoda was a little hurt by the knowledge that his son expected something less than supportive from him, but he smothered it to silence and offered a warm reassuring smile and a firm squeeze of his arm around Sokka's shoulders.
"You tried the emotional route with Li but he shot that down." Hakoda recalled with a speculative tilt of his head. "So how about we approach him with a political argument?"
Sokka was thoughtful at that idea as he nodded and sat up, meeting his father shoulder to shoulder as an equal. "What are you thinking?"
"Li was a war general, so he'll think in the way that a commander in charge should." The chief broke it down with ease, using the same tone he often did when plotting their course of action and directing their forces in war meetings. It was a tone that Sokka was used to and appeared to help set the younger man in the right headspace to conquer this problem with a clear mind and much more confidence than he had felt previously. "We just need to rally our forces and blow a few holes in the foundations of his argument until he has to reconsider the logic of it."
"Sounds easy enough." Sokka agreed with a nod. "We already have the facts and the evidence to back us up."
"But your wording will be key." Hakoda corrected. "You don't want to give your opponent any more ammunition than he already has."
'Li, do you mind if we go somewhere quiet to talk?' Sokka worked his words around inside his head as he practiced the things he and his father had discussed. He rolled them around in his head, over and over, editing the script and running it through its paces until he felt more confident in it. ‘I understand why you wish to return home to your people, but I implore you to just listen to what I have to say first.’
Sokka took a shaky breath as he sucked in the cold air that filled his lungs and pressed on, mouthing the words silently. ‘You’re a man of action, and as a man of your position, you know better than most the power of timing for the greatest impact in the throes of battle. It is in your best interest-’
‘No!’ He shook his head at that and tried again. ‘It is in your people’s best interest that you not squander this golden opportunity you have waiting for you. If you can bear to wait until after Prince Iroh ascends to the throne, then your return and the weight of your words could have a quicker turnaround than returning now and being forced to wait and risk becoming an even greater target. Right now, your power is limited to those who would heed your word, and the biggest player in that plan succeeding would be your uncle. So I implore you, please wait it out, reconsider your options and give simply writing to your uncle a try in the meantime. What good is a leader, if you don’t live long enough to make a change?’
“Yes!” Sokka hissed in approval as he nailed it, and began to backtrack and repeat all of that over and over in his head. It sounded good. It sounded like a suitable argument that could sway Zuko’s opinion on the matter and possibly convince him to finally withhold his return to the Fire Nation until there is an extra layer of safety offered to the young prince than just a fiery resolve and the rare chance that Ozai won’t just quietly have him dealt with before anyone else in the nation could even hear word of Zuko’s return.
As he approached Hama’s hut, he was feeling more certain of himself with his father’s supportive words ringing in his ears still. It felt good to finally have his dad on his side, to know he had him backing him up and holding his corner through the troubling times he faced. He wanted to do right by the tribe but he couldn’t justify turning a blind eye to those who still needed aid outside of it. Zuko mattered just as much to him as any other tribesman, and it wasn’t just some shallow excuse of infatuation that compelled him. He considered Zuko to be something more, something deeper than that. A friend felt like it was barely scratching the surface, but it was the most fitting word he could find at the moment. They couldn’t move beyond that though, given their current positions and Sokka understood why that was, but it didn’t squash the feelings he harbored for the soldier, and no matter what happens in the future, he doubted they would ever truly go away. Sokka’s heart would never forget the way this fiery little ferret of the Fire Nation taught him how to live again and how to enjoy life once more. There was meaning beyond the mundane and Zuko reignited the spark to Sokka's fire and rekindled his passion for the things he felt he had somehow forgotten he loved over the years.
Zuko was a blessing to Sokka’s life, for the ups and downs it brought, but also the valuable lessons he shared with the warrior as they learned how to stumble through these trying times until they felt sturdy enough to run without falling or being afraid to push those boundaries and limitations a little further.
He peeked his head inside the healer’s hut, stomping the snow off his boots on the mat as he scanned the room to find Zuko hunched over his work desk with his nose buried in his scrolls as he studied the various plants Hama most likely had been lecturing him on again. He hadn’t appeared to notice Sokka entering, though Hama greeted him with a smile and a wave from where she was measuring out quantities into small containers for a type of tea she had been preparing that looked like the one Katara often drank when her monthly pains got bad. He shot her a sheepish smile as he skirted towards the soldier with quiet steps as he tiptoed up behind him before sidestepping to lean his hip against the desk.
Sokka folded his arms over his chest as Zuko reached over to collect the brush he had been using to jot down notes in a scroll which Sokka’s hip was now blocking his path to, and the man still hadn’t noticed until his knuckles knocked into the thick layers of the warrior’s cold weather gear. His head shot up in surprise as he jerked in his seat and snapped his gaze up to inspect the obstacle in his way that he didn’t recognize before his shock turned to a mild frown. He shooed Sokka away with a wave of his hand and a click of his tongue, then poked him in the ribs for good measure until Sokka relented and scooted aside. Zuko retrieved the brush, made his notes in quick succession as his long strokes were beautifully inked across the page using his left hand, before setting it aside to dry.
“Alright. I’m done for the day.” He announced, stretching his arms over his head as he elicited a few comfortable pops and rolled his stiff shoulders and back to ease the burden of sitting static at a desk for most of the afternoon. Groaning pleasantly in a way that sent little shivers through Sokka as he heard the soldier rumble out in the water tribe tongue. “Hama, I’m heading out.”
He was slowly losing that northern dialect that Sokka found little care for and began to adopt a much more southern sound to how he pronounced his words. It was an aged kind of useage that was more reminiscent of Gran Gran’s or Hama’s style of speaking, than the younger generations. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised with how often he spent with Hama in her daily lessons.
As Zuko collected his coat from the back of his chair where it had been draped for some time, he shrugged it over his head and let the thick fabric hang off of his body as he sidled up against Sokka’s side, urging the warrior to resume their comfortable habit of walking with one arm draped protectively around the soldier’s shoulders. It felt different doing it now, than it had all the other times. Where before, Sokka had done it out of an urge to comfort the soldier, and like some unspoken designation that Zuko was his and everyone was aware of that declaration and the implication that followed it. Then later, it became something sentimental, less for the necessity for comfort and more of a quiet reassurance that they had chosen one another and there was something to be proud of in that feeling. Now, it felt unsteady and imbalanced. It felt like Sokka had forgotten how to settle into that position like he had done thousands of times with ease and little thought in the action. Before it had been as natural as any other affectionate gesture, thoughtless in its presence and intimate only in the words they shared between one another.
Sokka was struggling to find that common footing again, and his thoughts were racing, overanalyzing, second guessing his every move and doubting whether it was the right choice to make. It was a terrifying feeling to suddenly lose that familiar territory as his instincts demanded he comply because it's what he always has done, but his mind screamed at him and threw logic in the path that made him stall and re-examine if this is the smart decision to be making. Should he really be encouraging it, should he be obliging the request when it meant something different to Zuko than it did to Sokka? Would he be overstepping or giving off the wrong impression?
He couldn’t help but worry that after today, things would change again and whatever damage his words might cause should it go wrong, would be irreparable. He knew this was the reality going into it, but having Zuko here by his side, so carefree and comfortable in his arms once more, left his heart aching with that familiar pain that he had been plagued with since the aftermath of the Agni Kai had left him feeling numb and so completely lost. He knew this was a possibility but he was petrified of what might happen should he stand by and allow Zuko to make such a reckless decision, while simultaneously wishing things were much easier and he could be the supportive partner Zuko needed and deserved in his life without the fear of losing him to something as ridiculous as political assassination attempts. But he couldn’t live with himself if he fell to the easier path, because that wasn’t the man Sokka was, and so he prepared his heart for the pain and secured it in the knowledge that, even if this ends badly, he tried his best, he scoured every avenue and the pain in the end would be his burden to carry through whatever transpires from it. Even if Zuko despises him and never wants to speak to him again, he would accept those bitter words like daggers in old wounds and continue pushing on for the soldier’s sake, because love was irrational and unpredictable in its outrageous stupidity.
When they left Hama’s, Sokka decided to steer them away from the path that led them to Gran Gran’s house and instead directed them down the path that took them towards the stables with the hopes that it would offer both privacy to speak their minds and a very stubborn camel to soothe whatever tempers may spur at the whims of such a touchy topic once more. It worked the first time, so why couldn’t it work again?
It was the best plan he had to offer, and he was going to follow it through to the end. He had to.
The stable was warmer than the crisp air of the outdoors as Zuko tucked his arms around himself and stepped in ahead of Sokka where he had held the door open for the prince. To his relief, they were alone like the warrior had hoped as he let the door click shut behind him and noted the lanterns lit in various spots around the stable. The stalls were recently cleaned for the rest of the yaks, as they grazed on grain and lazed about. A few peered up at the newcomers who disturbed the otherwise peaceful quiet of the building. A cold nip lingered in the air with the overall moisture that clung to their skin from the bitter cold beyond the closed doors, but Sokka didn’t feel it as strongly as his mind raced. Zuko strolled casually towards the back of the stable where Humpy greeted him with a disinterested grunt between chewing his cud.
Zuko held his hands out to cup the sides of the camel’s face as he cooed at the beast in Water Tribe. His dark hair hung shaggy and messy, scattered across his brow where it curled down around his ears and started to reach the curve of his shoulders once more. His hood had fallen down away from his face to reveal the unscarred side as it softened with a cheerful smile as the soldier carded his fingers along the camel’s neck. It was warm and bright, and felt like the sun after a month of cold and darkness had stolen what little hope was left in Sokka’s life. He couldn’t bear to see that flame snuffed out, he couldn’t stand to think of it, guttered and smoldering at the hands of yet another person who had hurt him and broken his heart.
Everything he had planned to say to the soldier had vanished, feeling like ash on his tongue as he swallowed thickly and approached the smaller man. When he was just a few paces short of the soldier, Sokka let out a shaky sigh and called in a voice that was so terribly quiet in the calm of the stable.
“Zuko?”
The man stilled, sensing something was wrong as he turned to study the tribesman. Sokka lowered himself to the ground as he sank to both of his knees and bowed at the soldier’s feet. His palms pressed into the scattered straw that sprinkled the floor as his forehead kissed the dirt. He felt the tears burn in his eyes as he found his voice and spoke firmly.
“Zuko, I’m begging you, please don’t go back to the Fire Nation. At least wait until your uncle can take over the throne, but please don’t go back there. I can’t stand the thought of losing you to that bastard when you can do so much more for your people while away from there.” His voice trembled the slightest bit as he dragged in a sharp breath and pressed himself harder against the cold ground. “I understand why you want to go back, and I know I could never change your mind about staying but please, all I’m asking is that you wait. I will do anything you ask of me. I will do whatever I can within my power to help you achieve your goals, but I beg of you, please don’t go back there. Don’t go where your father can hurt you again. Please .”
And there it was. Everything that Sokka had left pent up this past week or so, everything he had been wanting to say for months, all of it was spilled out on the ground before the man he loved. A sharp silence settled heavy in the air around him as Sokka waited for an answer. He waited, and he felt his heart thundering noisily in his chest until he thought his pulse could drown the whole world out. He sucked in a shaky breath, could smell the dust and cold and the faint stench of manure from the nearby stalls and yet he didn’t move from his spot. He waited, because he wanted Zuko to understand the lengths that Sokka was willing to go. He needed Zuko to know this and understand, even if the soldier hated him in the end for shoving his nose into places he probably wasn’t wanted. It didn’t matter. He was prepared for it. He waited for the sound of angry words lashing out at him. He anticipated outrage and disbelief. He waited for the shadow of footsteps stomping away from him and to feel the eyes of disgust and disappointment boring into his back.
None of that came.
Only the quiet shifting of Zuko’s feet before Sokka felt hands on his shoulders desperately tugging at him as the prince pleaded.
“Stand up.”
Sokka was puzzled by that demand and it took him a few seconds to properly process that Zuko had spoken those very words.
“Sokka, please stand up. Right now. Get up.”
He lifted his head when the prince’s fingers hooked under his chin and forced him to abide by the demand. His brows knitted together in confusion when he saw the pale faced horror and shock in the prince’s eyes. His hands worked quickly to grapple the tribesman and find valuable purchase on his parka as he attempted to haul Sokka back to his feet.
“Get up. Please get up.” He blurted, begging the man in return as Sokka faltered before gathering his legs beneath himself to rise stiffly. “Fine, I’ll do whatever you want me to do, but please for the love of Agni stand up.” Zuko searched his expression as he gripped Sokka’s biceps in a tight hold as he refused to let go as if he expected Sokka to resume his earlier posture if he did.
“What-”
“Promise me you won’t ever do that again, okay?”
“I don’t understand.” Sokka admitted, brows furrowed in even more confusion than before.
“I won’t go back to the Fire Nation in Spring, just please promise me you won’t do that again.”
“O-okay.” That wasn’t the response Sokka was expecting or the frantic alarmed look Zuko was aiming in his direction as he lowered his gaze and started to hastily dust the straw off of Sokka’s knees as if hiding any trace of evidence as to what the tribesman had been doing only moments ago. This was beginning to feel like one of those weird things that might be lost in translation from Water Tribe to Fire Nation and Sokka was immensely confused about it.
“Good.” Zuko breathed a hasty sigh of relief as he inspected the warrior and reached up to comb a few skewed strands of hair away from Sokka’s forehead as he started to relax a little bit. “Good. Let’s just- fuck, I don’t know. Pretend this never happened?”
He didn’t know how to respond to that but he nodded jerkily in answer. “So you’ll stay and write to your uncle instead?” He elaborated, trying to parse out where exactly they were standing in this situation.
“Yes.” Zuko agreed. “I’ll write to my uncle instead and stay here in Spring. If it means that much to you.”
“Yes.” Sokka nodded, raising a hand to hesitantly rest on the soldier’s shoulders before smoothing his palms along his arms until their fingers tangled together in a half hearted request to hold hands. Zuko didn’t appear mad at him about this, just bewildered and worried. Sokka didn’t understand but if it meant the soldier was going to stay a bit longer, then he’d take it and not look at a gift ostrich-horse in the beak.
“You’re one crazy stupid platypus bear, you know that?” Zuko blanched as he stepped closer to Sokka until their chests were touching. Sokka didn’t quite understand what his ferret meant by that but he hummed approvingly in agreement regardless. Zuko’s head fell to rest against Sokka’s chest as he sighed tiredly. “You’re going to be the death of me someday.”
Sokka made a choked noise as he balked. “I’m trying to keep that from happening!”
The soldier laughed as he shuffled a little closer to him, encouraging the warrior to wrap his arms around the man to hold him close. If he was squeezing a little harder than usual, then that was nobody’s business but his own as he settled his chin atop Zuko’s head and nuzzled into his fiery little ferret as he sighed.
“I love you, you know that, right?”
“I know you do.” Zuko’s confirmation was muffled by the front of Sokka’s shirt as they just stood there, wrapped up in the quiet of the stable and soaked in the baffling situation that just unfolded.
“I love you.” His ferret murmured back. “Your stupid quirks and all.”
Sokka let a shaky breath escape him as he forced his shoulders to relax as he eased into those words like a wave of warmth lapping at a cold and battered heart seeking shelter away from the chaotic storm that it had endured for so long. Things were starting to find their footing once again and he was relieved by that. The pain he had expected to follow was absent now, and the numbness he had cast over his heart had bled away.
Chapter 49
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Zuko just couldn't get that image out of his head no matter how hard he tried. He just kept replaying it over and over again. The tremble in Sokka's voice when he called out to the prince, the way it continued to waver with so much desperate uncertainty and fear as he proceeded to beg. How the warrior succumbed to his knees without an ounce of hesitation as he pressed himself flat against the dirty stable floor.
A proud Water Tribe warrior. Not only that but also the son of the Chief. In the grand scheme of things, both he and Sokka were the same. They were both Princes to their people, and in a military sense, they were both commanders of their forces. And yet, Sokka did not even hesitate, there was no doubt or reluctance as his body gave easily to the whims of his efforts.
It churned Zuko's stomach up inside, with shame and guilt as he watched Sokka hold it without a single twitch of desire to get up off the ground. There was no disgust or displeasure. Just total defeat. A man who had reached his lowest point. A man who had nothing left, no pride or shame to be seen.
And when Zuko did finally get him to look up and rise to his knees, a position that the prince still wasn't pleased with regardless, he froze as he watched those blue eyes filled with unshed tears gazing up at him with the tiniest tremble in his lips.
Zuko never considered just how strongly Sokka felt about this situation, or just how afraid he genuinely was for Zuko's safety that he would choose to willingly debase himself in a way that could shame him and his entire family. In the Fire Nation, he could have even been disowned for such a thing, to be prostrating himself, not only to someone of equal rank and status, but to do so in a filthy stable and to a war prisoner no less. Agni offered a modicum of mercy at least that Sokka chose to do it in private but if just one person had walked in and saw it-
The prince didn't even want to think of what could have resulted. How much that could have hurt Sokka's chances of succession among his people, or even how they would view him should he succeed his father. Would they still respect him? In the Fire Nation it would be entirely unheard of for such shameful behavior, especially in the public eye. The only person a prince should bow to in such a manner would be the only men that outrank him.
For him, it would be his father, Uncle Iroh both in a royal sense and a military fashion, or the Firelord. For Sokka, it would be Chief Hakoda and perhaps maybe even the elders since they appear to outrank even the chief himself. It's inconceivable otherwise.
Zuko may even be lesser than Sokka due to being his prisoner and formerly his ward. The humiliation that could bring, the dishonor to himself and his family, all of that would be enough for any self respecting Fire Nation noble to turn to ritual suicide to salvage the damage done to their family for such an act.
Even worse, given the lines of their relationship, to prostrate themselves before a lover or a partner. It is considered a failure in that relationship or a sizable imbalance of power. It made Zuko feel ill just thinking about it. Was that how Sokka saw them now? Or did he not understand the implications that might have?
Zuko was by no means above him. They were equals. They stood on common ground. Unlike the foul slander he often heard hurled at the Water Tribes, something he had been equally as guilty of as well, even if it never left his lips it still entered his mind time and time again, but Sokka was not some savage to be conquered and put in his place. He was not an unwitting tribesman, too daft to understand the intricate webs of hierarchy that needed to be subjugated and he certainly didn't need to prostrate himself for Zuko like that.
Did Sokka really think so little of himself? Does he think Zuko thinks so little of him then? Is that why he was so eager to debase himself in front of the prince like that, because he misunderstood or made wild assumptions? It made the prince wonder if he had somehow accidentally instilled this misconception between them. It was possible, maybe between the Agni Kai and the change in caretakers, or any time in between actually. Sokka could have misread the signs. He could be confused.
Or the Water Tribe has a strange and entirely different view on these things than his own nation does. It was hard to say, but Zuko couldn't calm his racing thoughts until he asked about it. So first thing early the next morning, he did just that. He went to Lady Ezra's home to seek advice from someone with a much broader understanding of both Fire Nation and Water Tribe culture. Perhaps he'll finally get answers and an explanation that would make sense without the embarrassing need to ask Sokka for clarification.
Sokka was busy with a handful of odd jobs Hakoda had fetched him for, and both Kanna and Katara have made themselves busy with the warming weather as the snow started to melt into a pile of slush with the sun beating down on them. It wasn't warm enough to forgo his heavy winter gear, and Zuko highly doubted it really ever would for him, but it was nice to feel the muted heat on his face as he walked the sloppy slushy paths that turned muddy between the shrinking snow piles. Kids and dogs alike were enjoying themselves already as they ran about and helped break up the packable terrain with snowball fights and building snowmen. Something else fun and intriguing that Sokka had introduced him to in recent weeks.
Lady Ezra was home tending to little Lukka when he knocked on the door. Kodiak appeared to be nowhere in sight which offered a little more privacy on the situation. Even if Kodiak was an elder, it was bad enough that he was telling this to Lady Ezra, but he knew he could trust her to keep it confidential for Sokka's sake should it turn out to mean something as negative as he suspected it might.
He felt a little sheepish when she greeted him, one arm wrapped around the wriggling body of the little boy who had stains on the front of his tunic from what might have been his breakfast. He was grinning as he squirmed for freedom from his mother's arms but Ezra was quick to her son's efforts and adjusted her hold to secure him against her hip.
"Oh! Li? What can I help you with?" Her amber eyes widened momentarily in surprise to see him on her doorstep but was quick to welcome him in as she stepped back and held the door for him.
"My apologies for dropping by unexpectedly." Zuko bowed his head apologetically as the door clicked shut behind him. He stomped the snow and slush off his boots as Ezra moved further into the home to sit her squirming little boy in a chair to help him change his tunic for a clean one. Lukka giggled as he flailed and flapped his arms making the attempt much harder.
The woman wasn't dissuaded from her efforts and instead turned her tactics to tickle the boy's bare belly as he clapped his hands over his tummy and squirmed with squeals of laughter leaving his chest.
Zuko cracked a smile at the endearing display as that residual ache of loss and yearning that he felt started to creep in like an unpleasant shadow. He lingered by the door as Ezra tickled her son into submission before wrangling him into a clean tunic. When he was finally dressed in clean clothes, Lukka was free to run off and play with a gentle pat from Ezra urging him along. He wandered off to his room, running his fingers along the sides of the table and along the wall as he passed before disappearing through the beaded curtain.
"Please, come in. Would you like a cup of tea?" Lady Ezra offered to which Zuko gratefully accepted with a nod as he took his boots off and shrugged the parka over his head as he settled into the warmer room. He hung the coat over the back of his chair as he sat down at the table while Ezra put a kettle on to boil.
"Thank you, I appreciate it." He explained with a casualness that implied no big rush. He still needed to sort his thoughts out before properly tackling his concerns. "I just wanted to ask you a few things and I need a Fire Nation perspective on the matter."
"I see." Lady Ezra hummed as she took a moment to prepare a bucket and put Lukka's shirt in it to soak with whatever treatment she intended to remove those stains.
The little boy in question made his way back out of his room as he approached the prince with his little arms full. He had what appeared to be a large wooden rod longer than his arm that was hollowed out. When Lukka tipped it upside down, dozens of beads rattled inside giving the impression of what Zuko assumed rushing water or a harsh downpour sounded like hitting a rooftop. It was covered in little carvings of sea life that were engraved into the light wood with various textures to run his hands over and feel every silhouette from bumps to little holes to the waves themselves. There were even special textures for the sea birds and the scales of the fish. It was lovingly made with a lot of skill and artistry.
As the boy offered it to Zuko, he urged him to tip it upside down to make the beads inside rattle through the series of levels inside the container. He could feel the vibrations as the beads made it to each section through the toy. In the boy's arms were more toys that he showed off to the soldier by setting them in Zuko's lap. He swayed shyly on his heels, shooting him sheepish smiles with each.
"These are really neat, Lukka." Zuko praised in his native tongue as the boy grinned.
"My daddy made them for me!" The boy beamed. "This- this um is my favorite one." He reached for the wooden column as his hands found the cylinder from where Zuko had last tipped it up on the table. He was cautious in his grabbing as he thoughtfully felt it out and then seized it in hand and tipped it up again.
He ran his palms along the sides and admitted with disappointment. "I don't think it has jellyfish on it."
"It has native sea life on it." Lady Ezra called fondly to her son. "Jellyfish are from the Fire Nation where Auntie Mimi lives my little dragonfly."
"Has daddy seen a jellyfish before?"
Lady Ezra paused to think about it then quietly declared. "I'm not sure. You'll have to ask him when he comes home."
"If he has, can he make me a new block? A jellyfish block!" He held up the little blocks he had been holding, almost catching Zuko's elbow in the process. "My daddy makes these too! They tell stories."
The soldier accepted one of the first sized blocks. Just like the wooden column, it had textured pictures carved into it with rounded edges softened for a little boy not to hurt himself with. Each face had a different image on it like looking at paintings on a theater scroll. Each face had small dots at the very bottom, each a different number that appeared to correlate to what part of the story it told. One block appeared to be about a seal and a man, while the second block was about a family of bears.
As Zuko waited for Lady Ezra to join him at the table, Lukka took one of the blocks and ran his fingers over it before proceeding to tell the story of the man and the seal based on each side. He showed Zuko what side came before what as he held up the important face depicting the scene of the story. It was a very short story but also a cute one that Lukka was very fond of. When the tea was ready, Lady Ezra carried the cups to the table and sat down across from Zuko as she patiently waited for her son to finish telling his story. Setting the cup of tea in front of the soldier, he gave a small nod of appreciation but didn't tear his eyes away from Lukka's story for long.
By the time it was finished, the boy seemed a little out of breath from talking so much but he looked proud of the tale he told.
"Thank you so much for that story Lukka." Zuko grinned at the boy and gave his head a gentle pat and a little ruffle to stir his hair up under his palm. His smile only seemed to grow larger as he did a little excited wiggle where he stood.
"Lukka sweetie." Lady Ezra called honey sweet to her son. "Thank you for sharing your story with Li but I need to talk to him about some important adult things. Can you go play sweetheart?"
The boy nodded and collected his blocks and the column back into his arms, with a little help from Zuko so he didn't forget any. He shuffled off to his room as the beaded curtain clacked together and the soldier could turn his attention on the tea and conversation ahead of him. The little reprieve with Lukka was nice and helped clear some of the stress from his mind. The tea helped a little more on top of that but it couldn't chase away all of his woes unfortunately but it wasn't for a lack of trying.
Sipping at the cup of Jasmine, he relaxed into his seat and cradled the cup between his palms as he started. "It's about Sokka, sort of." She watched him with curiosity but didn't interrupt. "So um…." He sighed and buried his face into his palms as he admitted. "I don't even know how to begin. This is just so crazy. I still can't believe it."
"What did Sokka do?" She inquired. "Maybe we could start from there."
Zuko took a deep breath and looked back up at her. "He prostrated himself before me."
Lady Ezra's carefully reserved facade cracked as her eyes widened in alarm then furrowed in confusion as she asked. "Why?" The disbelief was apparent in her voice but it didn’t amount to the same level that Zuko had anticipated at that news.
The soldier chewed on the bottom of his lip in contemplation as he tried to find a good starting point to explain. "He…. begged me not to go back to the Fire Nation yet until my uncle assumes the Dragon Throne. He's worried that if I return before then, that my father will try to have me killed."
Zuko just shook his head at that as he sighed fretfully. "He tried to talk me out of it before but I need to return to my people in order to make things better for them despite the risks that posed to me. But I didn't realize how upset that apparently made Sokka." He fidgeted with the tea cup between his palms and groaned. "Had I really pushed him to the point of doing something like that so readily?"
Lady Ezra's soft amused laughter entered the space between them as she smiled knowingly at the prince. Zuko was at a loss for words and mildly frustrated because that implied he was clearly missing something here.
"Oh honey, I see now." She sighed warmly. "In the Water Tribe, prostrating yourself like that is an act of true compassion and humility. No man or woman is beneath it and it's seen as a positive thing. It means they genuinely care and are truly sincere in their words."
"It….it does?" Zuko asked hesitantly, brows pinched in bewilderment.
"It does. Even Chief Hakoda has prostrated himself before the elders, Chief Tekkeitsertok and even others in the village who aren't of a higher status." She went on to explain further, sympathetic to Zuko's confusion. "It can be a sign of acknowledging that the person before you is more experienced and skilled when seeking aid or wisdom, or to extend the sincerest apology one can."
"Oh." Thinking back on it now, it made sense. Sokka's desperation, his pleas and the genuine worry that trembled in his voice, the unshed tears. This was Sokka's last resort to convince Zuko, by humbling himself and showing, with every inch of his body, just how much he genuinely cares about and loves the prince. That hit a lot differently in his mind now as he replayed those events over in his head. He sagged back into the seat, stunned to silence as Lady Ezra calmly sipped her tea as she waited for him to process all of this.
He hadn’t realized how much different that might have been in the Water Tribe compared to the Fire Nation, and knowing what he does now, that sick feeling abated some and was replaced with a nervous little quiver in the pit of his stomach. Sokka was just full of surprises and the extent at which he could continuously show how much he loved Zuko would continue to shock and impress him, and yet the prince felt as if he might not be worthy to accept all of these affections. This warrior, this big dumb platypus bear of his that he didn’t know how he managed to end up with, filled his heart to bursting with joy and affection.
Zuko sniffled a little as the tears started to well up in his eyes and blur his vision. He turned his gaze down to stare at the cup of tea cooling against his palms as he let out a shaky breath. He wasn’t ashamed of the feelings he felt for Sokka, but was instead surprised that anyone could ever love him like this. It wasn’t something he had ever anticipated in his life. That he would ever matter so much to another person outside of his family, or that anyone would ever go to such lengths for his happiness and safety. That Sokka cared so Agni damn much that….
A hot tear ran down his cheek but Zuko didn’t reach up to wipe it away. He didn’t stifle the little tremor of his lips or the way these feelings continued to bubble up and flow over. Lady Ezra’s smile was warm and understanding when she extended a hand to overlap Zuko’s as she murmured.
“It’s a nice feeling to have, knowing someone cares so much without ulterior motives.” That was putting it kindly but Zuko nodded shortly and took another slow calming breath. He did finally lift a hand to wipe away the tears as he spoke, ignoring the way his voice wavered and choked up a little in the process as he tried to compose himself.
“Yeah, it is.” He agreed, and let the weight of those words settle. How bad was it that he couldn’t find this back home? That there was always that reminder that there was a decorum to be had in every relationship. That love wasn’t anything more than a practical negotiation between two families as if they were simply sorting out business investments. It pained him to think about, and only made that ache in his heart grow stronger knowing he would have to leave eventually and whether or not this relationship could survive the aftermath of this spirit’s forsaken war.
"He's right." Zuko met her eyes with a moment of puzzlement before understanding spread across his thoughts as the noblewoman continued. "You really shouldn't go back. Not yet. Not until Prince Iroh assumes the throne otherwise all of this-" She gestured at all of Zuko with a smile. "-will all be for nothing. All of your struggles, all of the hard work and progress you've made, all that you have learned. If anything happens to you, Li, then the hope for a better future for the Fire Nation dies with you."
"I don't really think that is necessarily true." He countered with a dismissive grunt. It was ridiculous to boil it all down to something like that, because Zuko wasn't the only one fighting for a better future for his nation. "Lu Ten will still be there if I'm not."
"Prince Lu Ten is a good man." Lady Ezra agreed amicably. "But he doesn't have the same experiences you do. He didn't go through the same hardships and struggles you have. During the war, in that mountain pass, and even with the Water Tribe." She paused to sip at her tea before proceeding. "You've experienced the world at its worst, you've seen how men can perish or flourish under hardship. You know what a good supportive community looks like, what it feels like, and there is strength in that."
He nodded stiffly as he let all of these things wash over him, contemplating their sincerity and their reality. Lu Ten was a well traveled man, both he and uncle Iroh were, but Zuko knew better than anyone that there were limits to their insights. They've seen the world before the war, they've experienced cultures without the strife of violence and the perilous struggles of survival. He's seen the strength in men that band together. In communities that support the differences of one another without shunning it. Who welcome outsiders with curiosity and treat them like one of their own. Who love unconditionally and fight with a fierce sense of loyalty that goes beyond mindless duty.
"I promised Sokka that I'd stay until uncle takes the Dragon Throne." He admitted quietly and lifted his tea to his lips. It was lukewarm now but still good enough that it didn't matter as his thoughts swirled with all these things.
"That's good." She hummed as their conversation hit a comfortable lull. Beyond the beaded curtain, Zuko could hear the rush of beads through the wooden column and the quiet animal sounds Lukka was making as he played with his blocks. It was a good feeling that helped him settle and calm these feelings he was bottling up inside and sort them out.
"Sokka, you're spacing out again." Katara balked, snapping her fingers in front of his face as he rested against one of the tables in the longhouse. Dad and Bato had left to address some repairs that needed to be done on the gull house and took Tonuk and Kela with them. This left him alone with his sister and he warmed himself by the fire and slogged through the endless swirl of questions and doubts that ran amok in his head. He buried his face into the crook of his arm and groaned tiredly.
Katara stood by his side, her hands resting on her hips before she slid onto the bench seat across from him when it became apparent he wasn't going to move. "What's wrong?"
Sokka frowned at the question but Katata only poked the meat of his forearm with determination. "Come on, you can tell me."
"It's about Li." He grumbled miserably. "About…." His voice trailed as he tried to find the right words to explain all of this first before it could jumble up inside of him again. "Our relationship I guess?"
"Uh huh." She coaxed. "The one you're technically not supposed to be having?"
"We're still figuring things out." Sokka corrected. "I love him, I really do and he said he loves me back but I'm still struggling with all of this."
"Because….?" Katara straightened up, offering her ear to her brother's troubles which Sokka was grateful for as he muddled through these worries and doubts that kept him up all night.
"I'm afraid that things will change. That our feelings will change. That with distance and time, he might forget about me or he won't think I care about him anymore and decide to move on." Sokka buried his face back into the crook of his arm as he groaned. "I don't know what to do, Katara. This is my first time actually feeling this way about someone else and I don't know how to deal with that."
He lifted his head and straightened up as he continued, letting it all roll off his tongue as these feelings started to bubble up and overflow. "I know we've admitted our feelings to each other, kind of, there was progress at least." He wondered if he sounded as uncertain to his sister as he did to his own ears. "Things just got all complicated all of a sudden and I know it's me that's at fault but I don't know where we stand right now. I want to hug him and hold him and cuddle all the time, but I'm afraid that I might be crossing some unwritten boundary and I know it's nonsense because Li hasn't said anything against it and his body language says he encourages it but in my head I keep running these circles and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I love him but-"
"But you're also afraid to love him too much?" Katara offered gently, her voice lowered to something soft and sympathetic. Sokka deflated in his seat and let his shoulders sag in silent defeat because that was the truth of it.
"Yeah." He admitted. "I'm scared of loving him too much even though I want to so badly, it physically hurts sometimes."
Katara sighed and leaned forward with her elbows against the table. "You know what you need to do?"
"What?" Sokka asked.
His sister hummed thoughtfully. "It's this really magical thing called go talk to him dummy!"
That was fair honestly. He just didn't know what to say to Zuko about all of this. The feeling must have been clear on his face as his sister stood up and gave him a stern look. "When Aang and I started our relationship, we ran into the same kind of issue with him being away all winter. But we talked to each other about our feelings and our concerns. You really should too."
"I know." Sokka grumbled.
"It won't get better unless you do."
"I know." He grunted again tiredly. Katara settled her hands on her hips and gave him a hard look. The warrior shrunk under her glare before storming around to his side of the table where she proceeded to grab him by the shoulders. Sokka wasn't expecting to be yanked off the bench only to topple onto his back with a panicked yelp and a frantic flail to catch himself before hitting the ground with an oomf!
"Really? Katara!" He whined but she only loomed over him with a smirk playing on her lips and a defiant stance.
"Go. Talk to your ferret. Now !"
"But I-" He started to protest before it became apparent that he was a few poor excuses away from his sister physically dragging him by his boot out the door into the snow. "Uh….fine. Alright. You win!"
She shot him a triumphant look as he collected himself off the ground and used the bench to get back up to his feet with an achy groan. His sister rolled her eyes at his theatrics and tapped her boot against the floor until Sokka straightened up and trudged out of the longhouse. He shivered when he stepped out into the cooler air that hit him in the face with a crisp chill drawn in with each breath. He was already missing the warmth of the longhouse fires as he stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his parka and stomped through the slush and melting snow back to Gran Gran's house.
He still didn’t really know what to say to his fiery little ferret on the topic. He was nervous after yesterday and the progress he seemed to make. Zuko was back to acting his normal cuddly self that was much more familiar terrain for Sokka and he worried his lip at the thought of possibly souring the good mood they’ve fostered in the aftermath of everything. Sokka was still kicking himself because he knew a lot of this kept coming back as his own insecurities piling up like a slippery wall of snow that he struggled to climb over. Zuko was offering, he had been inviting and affectionate, he had done the work on his end and yet, Sokka continued to free and he didn’t understand why.
A part of him suspected it was due to still having the eventual separation in their future filling his thoughts and his worries on how they’ll fare still stubbornly stomping all over his hopes and his ability to enjoy what time they had now to foster good memories. He was, at the heart of it all, his own worst enemy in the end and he hated how troublesome it could be. It wasn’t a battle he could easily win when he couldn’t argue it into submission or beat it up with a club in hand. It wasn’t as simple as ignoring it either as every attempt at a distraction kept eventually failing and resulting in his thoughts drifting in the brief intervals of mind numbing idle work.
The anxiety of it all on its own had left his stomach all tight and queasy as he trudged on to his family home with dreaded anticipation. Pushing open the front door, his nerves were quickly side tracked as the fragrance of tender seal meat filled his nostrils with every breath. The warmth of the home was cozy and comforting but the culprit behind the delicious and enticing scent wasn’t Gran Gran as Sokka first suspected. His eyes searched the house to find Zuko working dutifully in the kitchen cleaning up the sparse flour that covered the countertop and gathering up the dishes and utensils he used for whatever he had prepared. The scraps of vegetable remnants went into the compost bucket beside the counter as Zuko hummed softly to himself, seemingly oblivious to Sokka’s entrance into the home.
He stomped the slush from the treads of his boots alerting the soldier as he turned quickly, startled by the noise before the smile on his face grew much wider in greeting. His eyes full of mirth as he resumed whatever he was humming and focused his attention on washing the dishes while Sokka removed his cold weather gear to hang up beside Zuko’s on the wall rack.
“What are you making?” Sokka sniffed the air curiously. It smelled like seal, which was a scent he could never mistake in his entire life as it brought on a lovely sense of nostalgia from his childhood.
“Puffinseal pie.” Zuko said as he turned his good eye to track Sokka over the counter until the warrior disappeared into his blindspot. He didn’t twist to find him again and instead focused his attention on the bowls he had used for the meal preparation that he was washing in the basin. Sokka crept up behind him to take a peek at the stove and purred.
“Smells really good.”
“I’ve been meaning to try it out since Shin sent me the recipe a while back but I haven’t had any fresh puffinseal to work with.” He sighed wistfully before announcing with warmth in his voice. “Kodiak brought some back from a hunt earlier this morning. Shin said it tastes similar to the komodo chicken back home so I'm eager to compare it for myself.”
“What’s a komodo chicken? Is it like a komodo rhino?” Sokka still didn’t exactly know what that was and he was trying to imagine whether or not this was just as big as Zuko had described the komodo rhino as.
“It’s a small reptilian bird that’s commonly eaten around the Fire Nation.” Zuko explained as he turned to peek over his shoulder at the warrior and reached out to swat his hand away from the door of the stove. “Stop that. If you keep opening it then all the heat escapes and it won’t cook right.”
“But it smells so good.” Sokka whined and rubbed the dampness off his hand against his tunic from where Zuko’s wet fingers collided with his. He shuffled closer to the soldier as he offered a hug to the man from behind, a gentle little nudge in request that Zuko silently accepted and encouraged by stepping back into Sokka’s chest. After a moment, they shuffled closer to the basin together and Sokka looped his arms around his ferret’s midsection as he rested his chin against the soldier’s shoulder. It was comforting to be able to hold him like this but that nagging voice of doubt returned every time to run circles around his head.
“I love you.” Sokka murmured quietly into Zuko’s good ear as he let his arms sag around the soldier’s hips and wove his fingers together. Zuko’s damp fingers dropped to overlap Sokka’s wrist as they trailed wet patterns along his skin in quiet acknowledgement before resuming his work. It didn’t soothe the nervous flutter of the tribesman's heart or the steadily growing voices in his head but then again, he didn’t really expect it to.
He could see the softened flush that rose upon Zuko's cheeks at his quiet admission. It didn't recede even as the soldier set the clean dishes up to dry in the rack or when he dried his hands on a towel before dropping his cool dry fingers to overlap Sokka's hands and hold them in his palms. He tipped his head back to rest against Sokka's shoulder and sighed contentedly.
"Sokka?"
"Hm?"
"My big cuddly lovable platypus bear of mine?" The sickly sweet tone that dripped like honey off of his ferret's tongue made his stomach flip with a nervous recognition that always sounded off at the warning signs of little sister mischief. This was new territory for the warrior and he suddenly felt like a hog monkey that unknowingly walked into a trap.
"Yes?" Sokka asked cautiously.
Zuko turned his head so his mouth was right next to the warrior's ear as one hand lifted to cup Sokka's cheek affectionately.
'This is a trap.' He realized belatedly but it was too late now.
His ferret lowered his voice to a dangerous purr that sent shocks of excitement racing down the warrior's spine. "The next time you get on your knees in front of me like that again, it better be for a blowjob or else I'm hunting your platypus bear ass for sport." There was a pause as Sokka swallowed thickly. All higher brain capacity managed to sink itself down and he was struggling to get it back as Zuko continued.
"Am I understood?"
"Yes sir." It sounded too close to an eager whine as Sokka tried to process this pleasantly surprising turn of events. Zuko's smirk was victorious as he gave Sokka's cheek a gentle pat and pressed a kiss to his jaw as he murmured.
"Good boy." Zuko stepped away from Sokka's embrace as the warrior conceded to the gentle tug of his ferret's hands over his requesting freedom. "Now I need to check on the pie." The little smile and knowing look dancing in Zuko's eyes hinted at more than what the man was saying. "It should be ready in about ten minutes."
"Good." Sokka straightened up and swallowed dryly before shifting his footing to shuffle out of the kitchen. "I'm going to go get changed…..into something more comfortable. I'll uh be right back."
"Mmhmm." The prince chuckled as he opened the latch to the stove and inspected his work of mouth watering art. The smell filled the kitchen and traveled around the house, accompanying Sokka into the fragile privacy of his own room in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts and the equally as tantalizing imagery the soldier painted in his head. He swore the man was doing this on purpose, which Sokka wasn't necessarily complaining as it chased off those nervous feelings he was battling with earlier, but still. It was hard when he couldn't touch Zuko in the way he so desperately wanted to.
Sokka was feeling much more relaxed now that he had taken care of his unexpected problem and changed into something much more comfortable to boot. Sinking into his seat at the beckon of his fiery little mischievous ferret as he cut a helping of the puffinseal pie for Sokka and spooned it into a bowl. The warrior gratefully accepted the hot meal as he inhaled the flavorful steam with anticipation. Zuko scooped out his own helping and settled down across from him after setting a glass of warm cider in front of them both.
"This smells so good." His mouth was already watering as he scooped up chunks of tender seal and diced root vegetables. He blew at the steam that curled up off his fork and dared to tempt fate with the hot bite. It burned a little but it was a good burn as he swallowed it down and cut into a bit of the crust coated in the dark gravy.
"Tastes excellent!" Sokka praised enthusiastically. "I have such a talented little ferret." He stuffed the bite into his mouth as Zuko took his time letting his own meal cool.
"I'm glad it has your approval. I was a little skeptical about the recipe after I saw the type of meat but it looks like it cooked down nicely." He stabbed the piece of seal with his fork and finally took a test bite. His eyes brightened with surprise and curiosity as he blurted around the bite, covering his mouth with the palm of his hand. "Oh! Oh this does kind of taste like komodo chicken!"
"Really?" Sokka cut another piece of crust away and tried to use the crispy edge to scoop some of the gravy and winter vegetables up with it. "I kind of want to try that now and see for myself."
"When you come up to visit me in the Fire Nation, I'll cook it for you. It's one of my uncle's favorite dishes." Zuko smiled as he dug into the next bite as he strategically picked around the bowl to find the cooled chunks of vegetables and meat.
That promise only reminded Sokka of those earlier worries that danced around his head. They came barreling back at those words as he prodded his fork around his plate. He didn't really have a plan this time around but the words fell from his lips before he could second guess them.
"So um do you want to keep this going after you leave?" He quickly elaborated, gesturing a finger between them. "This relationship that is."
"Of course." Zuko agreed as he studied Sokka's expression. His brows furrowed in confusion as he set his fork down and asked hesitantly. "Do you not want to?"
"No!" Sokka blurted then stumbled a little. "No, I mean yes. Uh- I want to! I want to continue this. I'd like to try at least but I just…." He set his own fork down and shrugged his shoulders absently, dropping his eyes to the bowl in front of him. "I've never done anything like this before, Zuko. I worry that if you do go back and we try, that I might just be holding you back. I'm afraid that with time and distance, you'll forget about me or think I've forgotten about you."
He was laying it all out there in the open for the other man and it was as nerve wracking as he anticipated it being. Sokka didn't look back at the soldier as he spoke, feeling like he was digging himself into a deeper and deeper hole as he went.
"I love you so much it hurts and every minute I spend with you is a blessing. I know we have our ups and downs but we're still figuring things out and that's normal for a relationship but the long distance thing seems like a bit of a stretch and I can't help these feelings that I'll lose you." He rambled, letting it all spill out before him as he folded his hands in his lap under the table just to be able to fidget anxiously. His knee was bouncing faster than a bumblebee hummingbird's wings as he relented. "I know that's selfish of me and I shouldn't feel this way but I can't help it. You're one of the most important people in my life and sometimes I get a bit selfish when it comes to them because I want to make you happy but I also know I can't always be there to do that and I just…."
He sagged back into the chair as he hung his head in defeat. "I don't know what to do and I'm scared."
"Sokka." It came ever so gently as Zuko coaxed his attention back up to see the little reassuring smile dancing on his lips. It was a relief that flooded Sokka's chest and alleviated the tight panicked feeling he felt about bringing all of this up. "I understand how you feel because this is all so new for me as well. It's something we'll have to figure out together."
The soldier extended a hand across the tabletop with his palm up in a silent request. Sokka glanced at it briefly before taking it in his own, their fingers threading together as Zuko gave his a reassuring squeeze.
"It's worth giving a try even though the distance may be daunting but these kinds of concerns are normal." He hummed as their fingers toyed together. Zuko's eyes fell to inspect the overlap of their palms as Sokka gave his a comforting squeeze back. "I'm willing to try if you are."
"I am." Sokka blurted. "I want to try."
Zuko nodded curtly. "Then there is nothing to really worry about now, is there?" The prince gave his hand a gentle tug and leaned further over the table to press a kiss to Sokka's knuckles. It was a bit of a reach but Zuko managed to make it look sly and smooth with his stealthy liquid-like ferretness. "Just remember this Sokka, there is no way I could ever possibly forget about you. You've changed my life for the better and you're the reason I'm going back to change my nation for the better. I'll always carry you in my heart no matter how long it takes to return to you."
His cheeks warmed with the sugary promises of those words and the sappy conviction that entrenched them. The warrior let a small laugh alight the air between them as he pointed out. "You sound like one of those love interests in a theater scroll."
The soldier's cheeks burned hot with a spark of embarrassment as he countered. "They're pretty good inspiration to draw from, from time to time."
"Don't be embarrassed." Sokka chuckled. "It's really cute."
As the prince settled back into his own seat, their hands continued to mingle as they proceeded to eat their meal in the quiet of the home. It was times like these that Sokka realized the unfair upper hand that Zuko had over him by being ambidextrous. He changed hands without even thinking as he continued his meal while Sokka stubbornly made the attempt to mimic his easy going movements with his non-dominant hand. It wasn't going all that well and his ferret clearly noticed when he snickered after Sokka dropped his bite of seal back into the bowl for the third time now. He released their hold to save some of Sokka's dignity so the warrior could at least get through his meal without it ending up on himself but the teasing smile never left his face.
Even after Gran Gran and Katara came in from the cold and spotted the two men finishing up their bowls. They helped themselves to the puffinseal pie as Zuko and Sokka washed their dishes and retired to cuddle on the sofa and listened to the current gossip of the afternoon from Katara's most trusted source. Zuko preened at Gran Gran's praise over the meal while snuggling under the throw blanket where he was comfortably tucked beneath Sokka's arms, his head propped against the warrior's shoulder just as they often did but this time, those nagging little thoughts were much quieter and he could relish in the closeness without the jarring feelings of doubt or the self conscience second guessing. They still had plenty of time to figure out a plan for the future and Sokka could finally enjoy every moment with his beloved little ferret knowing he had ensnared his heart so completely that not even the leagues of La's reach could part them.
Notes:
The toys that baby Lukka has are based on sensory toys often used for children with visual impairment which was a lot of noisy or textured things. So he has little blocks that tell stories based on traditional scrimshaw work, and a water tribe version of a rainstick. He has other toys as well, like scrap cloth/rag stuffies of various animals (to match the story blocks) along with some other types of toys, but these are just his favorites.
Puffinseal pie was inspired by traditional English/American rabbit pie and Canadian flipper pie. I wanted something similar to rabbit pie that could also be swung for the Atla verse, and found out flipper pie has the same flavor and texture as rabbit pie (and tastes like rabbit or dark meat chicken) and decided puffinseal would be the perfect replacement for it.
I'm trying to work on this fic a lot more alongside Soft as Silk and In Defiance as I'm steadily approaching my 1 year goal of writing 1mil wordcount for a single fandom on AO3 in 1 year. I'm so close to accomplishing that goal (which I've been trying to accomplish for the last 4 years) and am less than 30k words away from hitting 1 million words and less than 130k of hitting my secondary goal of 1,100,000. I have until August to meet this and I think I'll finally achieve this after years of trying.
I'm so happy you guys!!
Chapter Text
Azula was worried because despite the efforts of the doctors, they still couldn’t figure out what was making her father sick. They had examined the Prince as closely as Ozai would permit before he’d grow agitated or confused and started batting them away from him. Uncle Iroh would have to step in to calm her father down but Ozai looked so conflicted and uncertain as he stared owlishly at the occupants in his room. They tried medicinal teas but he could barely stomach them long enough for them to work before he was vomiting it back up.
Her and Uncle Iroh would need to help him back to his room as they held him by his arms to guide him to bed. His legs would wobble weakly as he shuffled blindly along barely able to lift his feet up off the floor in each laborious step. He’d crumple into the bed, panting and sweaty as he’d curl up under the blankets, shivering as if he’d been plunged into an icy bath. She’d tuck the blankets firmly around his body and wipe the sweat from his face with a warm damp rag but that was all Azula could do for her father. The doctors were trying to figure out what was wrong as they changed his diet and offered medicines to help alleviate the nausea.
The outlook wasn’t promising as he’d mumble nonsense, calling out to Zuko or reaching for her with mother’s name on his lips. The heartbroken look in his eyes when realization would set in and he'd recognize her and not mother. The tears that would gather and fall were like a knife digging into her heart every minute she spent by his side but she didn’t leave, because she knew he needed her now more than ever. Instead she would secure her grasp on his hand and speak softly to him, telling him one of Zuko’s beloved tales until he’d fall asleep with that agonizing wheeze in his lungs.
She knew she needed to be strong for the both of them. That she needed to power through this grief and hold firm at her father’s side as their family steadily fell apart. First Zuzu, then mother, currently grandfather was expected to slip away any day now, and then there was Ozai. She held on to his hand with an irrational desperation that maybe if she clutched him hard enough she could keep him here with her. That not even Agni would be able to part them and then maybe she could find a way to help her father.
It was a childish fantasy, she was well aware of that. It sounded like something straight out of Zuzu’s theater scrolls but right now, those were the things she needed as a balm to her quietly shattering heart as she tried to frantically piece the broken shards back together before they could fall away for good.
Azula needed to believe in something just to keep herself going day after miserable day. She couldn’t fathom how Uncle and Lu Ten were managing as they were, but she supposed she could at least guess on her cousin’s part. He was enamored with this Yue girl as they wrote sappy love letters back and forth to one another. He had something tangible to sink his attention into at the end of the day that wasn’t so morbid as speculating how things may change after grandfather passes away or whether Ozai will pull through this illness even a fraction of the man he used to be. Uncle spoke of drastic measures and preparations that could be made for him if things get worse, but she didn’t want to think about them because it felt like giving up and Azula was not one to quit so easily. He had to get better. She still needed him. He was all she had left.
So she remained at his side for as long as she could until uncle came to collect her with a soft reminder that they had more meetings in the morning and night had quickly fallen before she had realized it. Her eyes burned from exhaustion but her body hummed with a numb sort of fatigue that went beyond the traditional bone weary feeling she had been so accustomed to since mother passed. She felt like a specter drifting from room to room, stoic in her presence and silent as she observed everything like an out of body experience. She felt like she was there and yet, simultaneously wasn’t and it was surreal to think too hard on when she’d finally lay down in her bed at the end of the day and barely felt the edges of her own body. It felt like slipping through a gaping chasm as she’d try desperately to grip the walls to slow her descent and barely scrape her fingertips along the rough rockface before the wind would whip her away from it and she’d resume her free fall once more.
Some nights it terrified her to imagine that free fall into an endless darkness, while others she would fantasize what it would be like to rapidly approach the bottom of such a great fall. With the wind rushing through her hair and quickly drying the tears that would slip from her eyes to steal away the evidence of all of these suffocating fears she kept tucked close to her chest. Sometimes she’d ponder what the bottom would look like. Would it be sharp and jagged with large pointed rocks protruding like spears to impale her wind battered and weary body upon, or would it be flat and rough as her bones shatter upon impact. Would it hurt? Would she feel it or will it be quick enough that she wouldn’t even get a chance to register if she made it to the bottom?
When the terror crawling up her throat like fire searing her lungs became too much, she would imagine a deep river that flowed through it during a flood season. With roaring rapids that would claim her like an eager stormy ocean, dragging her into a peaceful darkness like a cold hug. Just silence and cold smothering her senses.
It was these thoughts that would eventually lead her to restless sleep with dreams that ached but she could never recall when she woke each morning and tried to muster the energy to face the day, only to find her stores dangerously depleted. She was scraping the bottom of the barrel for barely a drop to fuel her through the gauntlet of endlessly miserable days only to repeat itself again and again. She was losing the hope that this cycle would ever change. She would catch herself praying to Agni that one of these nights, she would never wake up to meet another day if only to spare her the heartache of dreaded news.
The morning was a little chilly as it carried the nip of the cold wind coming off the sea. The sunny sky of the day prior had turned dark and ominous with gathering storm clouds over the mountains. The wind grew as it rustled through the trees in the garden as Lu Ten passed in a casual stroll to stretch his legs. His father and Azula had a meeting with the Fire Sages first thing as they discussed their options regarding Uncle Ozai. It was with a heavy heart that Lu Ten faced the troubling truth of their family and wondered how his cousins will fare in the aftermath of it all.
Grandfather wasn't going to last much longer, and Ozai's health only seemed to deteriorate much more quickly than Azulon's had. With Ursa gone, he feared for how the siblings may fare when it's just the two of them. Of course he and father would be there too, but they couldn't replace the family members those two needed most right now. He tried to be there for Azula until they could bring Zuko back home, but it was hard keeping that knowledge from her when she was hurting so much. He wanted to tell her, they both did, but it wouldn't be safe. There were too many risks involved and this needed to be handled with the utmost care. He and father couldn't even speak of it freely between themselves as they opted to coded conversations and slips of messages easily burned in the fireplaces during tea. For a royal palace, it always felt like a cage to him growing up. They were the most powerful people in their nation and yet they couldn't even talk to their own families without prying eyes and underhanded tactics by those hoping to usurp them.
'Keep your enemies close…' Lu Ten was often reminded of that, even now as he faced the silent empty halls of the palace. His steps were the only disruption that they heard until the soft uneven rustling across polished stone drew his attention. He stopped in his tracks and scanned the halls as the quiet sound came, uncoordinated and sporadic but sounded like footsteps if he listened closely. Tilting his head, he followed the noise as it grew louder and more pronounced the closer he got. A noticeable rasp accompanied it as he peeked around the corner to find his uncle shuffling along the wall with one hand barely strong enough to brace him against it. His shoulder and hip were smushed against it to support his weight in between steps as he tried to catch his breath with each sharply drawn inhale before it became something painful as Ozai buckled over with a cough that hurt just to hear it.
The man moaned and swallowed hard as he lifted his head with some considerable effort and continued to walk, hugging the wall as he reached out to something that Lu Ten couldn't see. As he crept closer to his uncle, he caught the barely coherent mumblings of his aunt's name as Ozai shoved himself away from the stability of the wall as if in pursuit.
He managed a dozen or so steps on his own before his legs started to buckle and he collapsed to the floor. Lu Ten rushed towards the older man with concern springing from his lips. "Uncle Ozai! Are you alright?" He crouched over the trembling man as amber eyes remained fixed before him as he reached his hand out towards the doorway leading to the gardens.
"Ursa is there. They both are. Ursa and Zuko are there, I know it." He whimpered. "I need to go there. I need to see them. I need to-" Ozai rolled onto his side as another painful cough caught in his throat and scraped at his lungs with every hard hacking gasp.
He was almost as ghostly pale as the stone he laid against and the thin tunic he wore to sleep in was soaked with sweat as Lu Ten tried to drag his uncle's attention to him. He laid a hand over Ozai's back as he shuddered through each excruciating cough before those amber eyes turned towards the young prince. Recognition and relief seemed to cross the older man's face as he gripped Lu Ten's arm in his feeble grasp and caught his fingers into the material of his sleeve like a tangle of fish hooks.
"Iroh, brother." Ozai pleaded, catching Lu Ten off guard. "You came home…." There was a shaky breath that left the prince's chest as his eyes became forlorn and desperate. "Are you leaving again soon? Stay a little longer brother, I-" He swallowed hard. "I'm sure Ursa would be pleased to see you and you can finally meet Zuko."
"Uncle Ozai, please." Lu Ten gripped the prince's shoulders to try and ground him a bit as he stomped down the urge to shake him even a little with the hope of jarring some sense into him. "It's me, Lu Ten. Your nephew?" Ozai looked at a loss for words for the longest time as his jaw gaped in confusion.
He searched the hall as if it held all the answers or some clue that might aid him but it resulted in Ozai's grip on Lu Ten growing firm for a few seconds before he pushed the hands away from him. "Lies!" He blurted and scooted away from his nephew. Lu Ten corrected his crouch before he lost his balance and stared after the man in shock and a loss of what exactly to say to that.
"Iroh!" Ozai groaned miserably as his voice cracked. His eyes fell back to Lu Ten as he shook his head at the prince and hissed. "You're one of them! You lied to me! Imposter!" When Lu Ten stepped forward to approach his uncle, he only seemed to grow quiet as fear filled his wide eyes and he hid his head with one arm tucked around it. He squeezed his eyes shut and whimpered as another coughing fit seized him.
The prince was helpless but to watch his uncle unravel on the floor like a beaten animal as he curled up into a tight ball and quietly repeated his father's name over and over again. His ashen skin only sharpened the gaunt angles of his face as amber eyes turned frightened and confused in Lu Ten's direction.
A part of him considered seeking out a guard to summon Iroh to the gardens, but he feared what might happen if he leaves his uncle alone like this. The man was far too sick to leave unattended like this and what little dignity remained was under threat of total loss. Trying to approach the man could turn things dangerous with how combative his uncle had become in his delusion, and Lu Ten refused to be put into a position of being forced to get physical with him if he could avoid it.
So he had to think, because staying here was going to get them discovered eventually, especially with all the noise the older prince was making. As his eyes scanned the hall for a hint that might help him figure this whole mess out, he recalled what Ozai said earlier.
"Prince Ozai?" Lu Ten spoke softly, sweetening his voice in the same manner that he talked to his cousins when they were small. His uncle turned dewy eyes towards the younger prince with so much apprehension in how he held himself. With arms wrapped around himself like a distraught child and not a grown man.
With his uncle's attention, how fleeting and unpleasant as it may be, Lu Ten tried his plan, sharing a warm yet reserved smile as he asked. "Would you like to come with me to the garden to visit the turtleducks?"
His bottom lip quivered a little as he gave the tiniest little nod of agreement with a soft, barely audible. "Yeah."
Lu Ten held an inviting hand out to his uncle. "Why don't you let me help you up?" There was a look of reluctance in the man's eyes as he studied the hand extended towards him then searched Lu Ten as if expecting some kind of trick in this offer.
"If we don't go soon, we won't get to see them today before the rain comes." He reminded, supplying a little more haste to the offer as the older man considered his options with a frown. When he finally accepted Lu Ten's hand, a flood of relief surged through him as he adjusted his crouch to better kneel at his uncle's side and help him find his feet again. It took several minutes and Lu Ten had to physically lift the man into his arms when Ozai's legs failed to hold him to rise off his hands and knees. When he was settled back onto his feet, with one cool hand clinging to his nephew's arm, they were finally able to make progress towards the garden.
It disturbed the young prince with just how much weight his uncle appeared to have lost with his ailment. He felt nothing like the tall proud strong prince Lu Ten had grown up knowing all his life. He was a shell of his former self, just a broken husk of a man entrenched in so much grief that he apparently couldn't even remember the faces of his own family.
"Turtleducks." Ozai grunted as he lifted a shaky hand to point at the pond where the breeding pair was kept.
"That's right, Prince Ozai." Lu Ten hummed approvingly as he guided them towards the stone bench beside the water. It was nicely shaded by the large tree looming protectively over one corner of the pond. The pair of turtleducks were bobbing about the shallows as they tipped their little bodies upside down so their heads would submerge beneath the water to search for tender vegetation to eat.
Lu Ten helped his uncle take a seat first before resting at his side with one arm still wrapped up in Ozai's fragile hold. Now that they were sitting down, he could hear just how horribly winded the man was with every pained breath that filled his lungs and sounded almost worse than grandfather's as a reedy scratchy sound escaped him. Ozai watched the pair of animals with quiet admiration as they went about their day unbothered by the presence of humans.
After a few minutes, his uncle's head started to droop before he rested it against Lu Ten's shoulder when it became apparent he hadn't the energy to keep it up. He looked so terribly tired but his eyes were fixed on the animals as a sense of calm came over him. He didn't speak up, not when the wind picked up and he began to shiver worse until his teeth started to chatter. He just tucked himself closer to Lu Ten and admired the pair as they swam closer to the edge of the pond and quacked at them in acknowledgement. Lu Ten wondered if the little animals were hopeful for a few pieces of bread from the kitchens but the princes didn't have the forethought to bring any today. When that became obvious to the animals, they started to drift away in their search for tastier morsels in the reeds and under the water.
"My little Zuzu would love these." Ozai murmured softly as he observed the animals and lifted his head just a fraction before resting it back down after some effort. "Perhaps Ursa and I could put some in the nursery so he could see them himself."
His uncle had a weak smile on his lips as he turned his head just enough to face Lu Ten as he shivered. "Do you think he would like that, brother?"
Lu Ten swallowed hard around the tightness in his throat and nodded, because Zuko did have turtleducks in his nursery when he was a baby. Ozai himself had seen to that as the design covered most of the furnishings and bedding, even sporting a wall mural of the pond that inspired the idea.
He gave his uncle's hand an affectionate pat and smiled. "I think he'd love that, Prince Ozai."
Then, after a minute or two, Lu Ten asked when the wind blew stronger and the smell of a storm and the charging static filled the air. "Are you ready to go back inside? I believe it's about to rain."
Ozai gave a small shake of his head at first, but then after a strong gust had his teeth chattering even harder, he tucked himself tighter to Lu Ten and nodded adamantly. It was almost endearing were it not so terribly wrong for his uncle to act this way. He smiled reassuringly to the man as he rose to his feet but Ozai only grappled at him more amber eyes turned large and confused.
"I'm not leaving you." Lu Ten reassured him as he held his hands out for his uncle to take so he could help him back to his feet. Ozai was as uncertain as a baby eelhound when he finally stood up before crumpling weakly onto his nephew's arms. Lu Ten braced him and helped hold him up until he could get his legs sorted out and stand up on his own. It took a moment but he finally got there just as the first sprinkles of rain started to ripple the surface of the pond.
Agni was kind enough to keep it at that until they reached the entrance leading inside. A wall trembling crash of thunder split the sky to give way to a startling large bolt of lightning that had his uncle jerking away from the windows with a gasp. The rain came with a much heavier downpour that pelted the pond and rained like sheets across the polished stone paths.
"That was close." Lu Ten chuckled as he overlapped a comforting hand over his uncle's when he noticed Ozai was trembling. "Come Prince Ozai, let's get you back to bed."
The walk back to his uncle's room was very slow and resulted in Lu Ten needing to scoop Ozai up into his arms after his knees started to give from weakness at about halfway. The hard chest deep agonizing coughs started with the older prince's panting which evolved into a struggle to catch his breath. It quickly became apparent that he was done for.
Lu Ten cradled his uncle against his chest as he made his way the rest of the distance to Ozai's room. His uncle's head rested tiredly on the young prince's shoulders as Lu Ten finagled a hand free just long enough to open the door before securing his hold on the older man. He was beginning to wonder if they should make a request for a wheelchair for the prince. It would make all of this so much easier on all of them and maybe Azula could take her father out to the garden when the weather permits, to sit and watch the turtleducks since it seems to comfort him during these strange episodes.
Carefully, he sat Ozai down on the bed and turned to help him change out of the tunic into something clean, dry and that smelled less like stale tobacco smoke. He couldn't believe his uncle was still smoking his pipe like this when his lungs already sounded the way they did. He tutted the thought as he pulled the old shirt off of his uncle with minimal coaxing then rifled through his drawers to find a suitable and much warmer long sleeve for him to wear. It took a few minutes before he found what he was looking for and closed the drawer.
The tobacco odor was stronger near the dresser and was beginning to give Lu Ten a headache. His eyes scanned the cluttered surface before he found the abandoned pipe in question, still smoldering where Ozai had left it. He opted to take care of that later after he got his uncle dressed and tucked into bed.
Ozai was easier to coax into compliance when getting him dressed as Lu Ten tugged the shirt over his head and settled it over his boney frame. The skin was starting to grow tight over his ribs where the ridges could just be seen at the sides where they were sharper and more defined much like the pointy curve of his shoulders. He was drowning in the fabric of a shirt that, only a few months ago, fit him comfortably.
It pained the young prince to see just how bad things had become for his uncle like this. Even worse when he considered Azula was watching her father waste away right before her eyes. It was hard for all of them but so much worse for her, and he couldn't even imagine what it might feel like for Zuko to return home and see him like this. And that's even if Ozai manages to survive that long with the way he was going. If the doctors and the Fire Sages couldn't figure it out, then the outlook would be quite grim. Lu Ten dreaded to know how much worse he could get before it reached that point.
Once Ozai was dressed, Lu Ten urged him to rest back into bed as he drew the blankets up around his uncle and tucked them in around his hips and sides. His uncle looked so tired, like he was barely holding himself awake as he murmured to the younger prince.
"We should have tea later, brother." He croaked. "I do miss our afternoon tea together. You've been away so long...."
"After you get some rest, Prince Ozai." Lu Ten promised sweetly, well aware that that was one request his father could never refuse. Ozai seemed satisfied with that and nodded silently to himself as his head laid back against the pillows. It didn't escape the prince's notice that the pillow cases had become covered in long dark strands of the older man's hair as it appeared to be steadily falling out in large quantities in his poor health.
He lingered long enough to ensure Ozai was asleep before tending to the smoldering pipe which he promptly emptied then hid inside one of the dresser drawers for now. The smell was starting to annoy him and often always did when it came to his uncle's particular brand of tobacco. It was one of those things he'd never forget from his childhood that accompanied memories of his uncle, though right now he could do good to go without it for a few days. Maybe his coughing fits would lessen and finally clear up.
Satisfied now that it was out of sight, out of mind, Lu Ten slipped out the door with a quiet click in his absence and made a note to inform his father of the eagerly requested tea time. Along with everything else that had transpired this morning. There just never seemed to ever be an end to all of this. He was beginning to believe that in some way, their family might be a little cursed. At least on one side.
Chapter Text
“Nnggghh.” Sokka groaned as he buried his face into his pillow to try and smother the noise. One hand cradled his stomach as he curled up beneath the layers of blankets desperate to achieve relief. Everything felt like it was twisting and churning up inside of him, steadily growing worse with each passing minute. Frustrated, he couldn’t find any position that was comfortable enough to alleviate it. What had been a mild discomfort hours earlier when he crawled into bed after supper had turned into a miserable fight for peace.
He tossed and turned, stretching out then curling right back up when it didn’t comfort him any or only made the tight painful sensation worse. Lying on his back or stomach didn’t help and rolling onto his sides only made him feel nauseous. Eventually he resorted to sitting upright as he curled forward and cradled his stomach as it gurgled unpleasantly. Any snatches of sleep he could manage were a pale attempt as he flitted easily to wakefulness as his guts felt like they were rebelling against him.
Despite the early morning hour, he mustered the energy to put on his cold weather gear and trudged out to the outhouse with the hopes that it was just a meal that wasn’t settling right or an instance of eating too much. It felt heavy, as if he were constipated but the warrior was well aware that it couldn’t possibly be the case. At least not to this extreme, but every time he tried to find relief, his body just wasn’t giving, so he trudged back inside and shivered as he curled up on the sofa with even more blankets tucked around himself.
Sokka was aware that it was still pretty early in the morning when Gran Gran emerged from her room, blinking away the grogginess in her eyes as she shuffled into the living room with her shawl tucked around herself.
“Sokka?” She asked softly when her eyes fell on his huddle as he squirmed and tried to get some semblance of comfort again. He was tired as his eyes burned against the faint glow of the fire dancing in the hearth. “Are you alright sweetie?”
The warrior shrugged in answer. He hasn’t felt ill since he was just a little boy so all of this just felt like he might be overreacting to mild discomfort, but at the same time that nagging sense of worry wiggled into the back of his mind. It could be something minor and it’ll pass in a few hours, but what if it doesn’t? What if it is something worse?
“Just not feeling too good, Gran Gran.” He grimaced as his stomach tightened. The quiet groan barely left his lips before another wave of shivers rattled throughout his body as the cold of outside still clung to him and danced across his skin. “My stomach.” He whined.
She frowned, worried by that as she inspected her grandson with a close eye. Sokka felt oddly small under her cautious scrutiny, a look that was far too familiar from so long ago. It was strangely comforting to see it because Gran Gran always seemed to know how to handle his and Katara’s problems.
“What does it feel like?”
Sokka shifted on the sofa as he palmed his stomach in some futile attempt to massage it out as he described the feeling. Gran Gran straightened up and shuffled into the kitchen and started to prepare something that Sokka couldn’t really see. He hunkered back down and curled up on his side facing the sofa cushions as he tugged the blankets over his shoulders. The idle noise of Gran Gran working in the kitchen was a comfortable ambiance for Sokka to relax to for a few minutes until his grandmother’s shuffling steps approached him.
“Here Sokka. Lay this across your stomach.” When he peered up at her, he spotted the waterskin wrapped in a towel that Gran Gran typically used for helping Katara with her pains. He shoved the blankets down and tugged his tunic up as he laid the waterskin over his abdomen. He tucked the edge of his tunic back down over it and relaxed onto his back as the heat seeped through the fabric and spread across his skin. Any sort of pressure hurt and the weight of the waterskin wasn’t all that pleasant to have touching the tender area, but the warmth felt good enough that Sokka could endure it. Gran Gran left the lantern lit on the kitchen table as she moved to sit at it and worked on her knitting, keeping a vigilant eye on the warrior.
After several minutes and a bit more adjustments, he ended up rolling back onto his side and pinning the waterskin between his stomach and the back of the sofa to lessen the pressure. It was much more comfortable like this as he bowed his head to tuck into the cushions and tried to catch at least a few hours of sleep if he could.
Zuko was a bit surprised to find Kanna awake so early when he noticed the faint glow of the lantern light creeping through his curtain and the idle sounds of movement just beyond. A part of him considered rolling back over and going back to sleep, but when he heard the miserable grunt of his platypus bear and saw Kanna’s shifting shadow just outside his curtain, his desire was replaced with concern.
“Is it helping any, Sokka?” Kanna’s voice was barely above a whisper as she spoke in their native tongue. Sokka’s grunt in return was muffled and took Zuko a minute to process and make out what exactly the warrior had said.
“It did for a few minutes but now it just hurts more.” There was another groan from Sokka that dragged Zuko right up out of bed to investigate. He peeked his head through the curtains as he inspected the scene that lay before him. Sokka was curled up into a tight ball on the sofa with more blankets piled atop his body than even Zuko typically used, which was the first alarming detail that leapt to his mind. Kanna was standing beside Sokka as she took a waterskin from where it had been shoved off the sofa to land on the floor beside it.
“Do you feel nauseous at all?” Kanna had asked as she retrieved the item but Sokka just shook his head with a grunt. “Can I take a look?”
The warrior looked conflicted, seeming reluctant to unwind from his huddle but after a minute of contemplation, he relaxed and stretched his legs out, letting the blankets slide down to his hips. Kanna pressed her hand gently around Sokka’s stomach as she probed various spots and watched his reaction. The warrior didn’t look all that comforted by the action as he groaned and started to curl up again to avoid anymore poking.
“I don’t really feel anything concerning.” She declared. “It could just be an upset stomach. It’ll probably pass in a few hours. Have you tried going to the bathroom?”
Sokka just nodded as he tugged the blankets back up and shivered. “Twice.”
“Maybe a little bit of seal blubber tea could help with that.” Kanna offered as she turned to shuffle off into the kitchen, only pausing long enough to greet Zuko with a small nod of acknowledgement. The soldier grimaced at the thought of seal blubber and made his way around the sofa to check on Sokka. The warrior appeared to be making a similar face to the prince’s at the mention of it and shuddered.
“Seal blubber…..tea?” Zuko asked in Fire Nation to which Sokka’s sour expression only grew worse as he curled back up on the sofa and arranged himself to face outwards.
“It gets melted down into a drink to help with stomach problems.” Sokka explained. His expression shared a close resemblance of disgust that Zuko currently felt at the thought of drinking something like that. He felt like he might actually start gagging if he let that thought linger too long and decided to quickly dismiss it before he could feel worse about the subject.
“So your stomach is bothering you.” The soldier switched gears, hoping to help. “No nausea?”
The warrior shook his head.
“How long has it been hurting you for?”
“Since last night.” His platypus bear grunted as he snuggled down into the blankets until just his eyes were sticking out. It felt strange for Zuko to be on the other end of the caretaking when it came to him and Sokka. The warrior was always the one taking care of him and asking these same questions all the time when Zuko wasn’t feeling all that great. It felt like he could finally return the favor to the man who had doted on him dutifully for so long.
“When did the shivering start?”
“After I went outside.” Sokka admitted, lifting his head just enough so his chin was sticking out above the blanket before sinking back below it once more. His hair was messy and scattered across his brow from where he hadn’t bothered to tie it back up and his beard scraped against the ends of the blanket as he shifted restlessly on the couch. Sokka was a little too big to fit all of him on it but he didn’t seem to have much issue now when he curled up into a ball like a child instead of his usual comfortable sprawling posture that always had his feet dangling over the arm of it. "Maybe an hour or so ago."
'So he is having trouble getting warm again .' Zuko stepped towards the table to swipe the lantern for a moment and crouched back at Sokka's side. Holding it up, he inspected the warrior's color in the light and searched for any other early signs of ailment. 'No sweating. His color seems fine.'
"Headaches?" Sokka shook his head. "Sensitivity to light?" Another shake of the head as Sokka tipped his head back and grimaced as his hands cradled his abdomen. He didn't even bother stifling the miserable groan that left his throat as he clenched his jaw and squirmed.
Zuko returned the lantern to the table as he considered the symptoms. It couldn't have been anything Sokka ate really being the cause since he and Sokka ate all the same meals and Zuko made certain not to spice or season anything more than the norm when he did the cooking cause usually Katara and Kanna were eating with them. The meat from supper the night before had been yak in a stew and lunch was a local white fish that had been pickled. Nothing unusual or particularly heavy and Sokka's appetite had been pretty normal these last few days. After they had their discussion about their relationship and where they stood on it, he seemed much more relaxed and back to his old self.
Which meant this could either be a minor fluke of an upset stomach, something contagious or a sign of something being seriously wrong. Though Zuko wasn't so sure about that last one since there weren't really any warning signs or other symptoms of distress aside from pain. He set the lantern back on the table before approaching Sokka again. He placed the back of his hand against the warrior's forehead then gingerly touched his cheeks as Sokka blinked tiredly up at him.
"You don't appear feverish at all." The soldier announced. "Your coloring is normal."
Sokka laughed dryly. "I thought you didn't know much about caring for illnesses, doctor Li?"
Zuko rolled his eyes as he sat on the very edge of the couch beside Sokka's feet. He let the warrior drape his legs over his lap as the soldier leaned back against the cushion and sighed. "I know some of the more common ailments but I'm still not familiar with how to treat them outside of the Fire Nation or the Earth Kingdom."
"I see." Sokka grunted.
"Injuries though? Those are universal." Sokka chuckled at that before his noises of amusement quickly faded with a grimace. Zuko was worried, he couldn't help feeling that way when he didn't know how to help. As Sokka curled up on the couch, Zuko sat beside him offering the tribesman a bit more company through it. It was still quite early so he didn't know if Hama was awake yet or if this was bad enough to warrant waking her up for it.
When Kanna came back over from the kitchen with a steaming mug in her grasp, Zuko caught a whiff of the familiar odor of melted seal blubber. Sokka didn't look at all enthused by it as his grandmother urged him to sit up and take the cup. Sokka grimaced and Zuko started to gag, forcing himself to turn his head away so he didn't have to watch this. He didn't think his stomach could handle that sight when the smell was bad enough.
He heard Sokka's snort of amusement. "Yeah, that's pretty much how I feel about it too."
"Quit whining and just drink it." Kanna scolded gently.
"But it tastes so bad." Sokka groaned. "Haven't I suffered enough?"
"You really haven't changed." The elder let out a noise of exasperation, earning a laugh from Zuko as he peeked back at the warrior and his grandmother. "You know he's not too bad off if he still has the energy to be dramatic."
There was an offended squawk from Sokka as Zuko snickered at his platypus bear's expense. Sokka seemed content enough with this line of banter if it offered enough of a distraction to get him out of drinking the blubber tea. He just held the mug in his grasp and fidgeted with it absently. Slowly his smile faded as he frowned then grimaced as he threw his legs back over the side of the couch. Hastily he handed the mug back to Kanna as he scrambled up and towards the door. He barely even spared a moment to get more than his toes into his boots and didn't even grab his coat before he disappeared out the door.
Kanna and Zuko looked at each other as the soldier asked. "Is just smelling it meant to do the job?"
"No." Kanna answered with her brows pinched in worry. "I'm beginning to wonder if it's something else that's paining him."
"Like what?" The question didn't appear to comfort Kanna as she shook her head.
"It's too early to say but I pray to Tui and La it's not what I think it is." That didn't ease Zuko's worries as he waited on the couch for Sokka to return. Kanna returned to the kitchen and found something to keep her busy until then. Several minutes had passed and Sokka still hadn't come back as the soldier watched the door anxiously.
When about twenty minutes had gone by, Zuko was considering going out to check on Sokka. Kanna had also started watching the door more closely, her gaze flicking up with concern when there was still no sign of the warrior. Several more minutes went by and just as Zuko rose to his feet, determined to go out and make sure he hadn't collapsed in the snow at all, the door had opened with considerable effort. Sokka shuffled in, shivering worse than before and looking completely exhausted.
"Sokka?" Zuko and Kanna both inquired simultaneously as the warrior kicked his boots off and shuffled sluggishly towards the couch. There, he flopped down and curled up onto the cushions as he fisted the blankets up to his shoulders. He looked far worse than when he left and Zuko was even more worried now because this didn't just seem like a simple upset stomach.
Kanna brought over a warm drink that was not seal blubber tea and offered it to Sokka to help thaw his chilled body. He sipped at it slowly but only managed a few mouthfuls before setting it aside and curling back up. Zuko returned to his spot on the couch beside the warrior and shivered when Sokka's cold skin met his. He rubbed his hands along the warrior's legs to help them warm up faster and to try to comfort the larger man a little.
Zuko wasn't very good with this sort of thing the way Sokka always was. He could treat an injury or offer words of advice, but when it came to comforting someone in any form of distress, he fell painfully short in that department. He wasn't good at it like Sokka, Uncle Iroh or Lu Ten were, and he felt bad that he couldn't offer much to help.
It wasn't too long before Katara woke for the morning and started to help Kanna with work in the kitchen. She shot worried glances towards the couch where her brother lay huddled in on himself as he tried to get some sleep. After the tribesman made a second mad dash out the door, Kanna went into her room and returned with what appeared to be a large wooden trinket that was painted red with a coarse rope hanging off of it. She stepped outside with it and when she came in, her hands were empty.
As Katara brought Zuko his breakfast where he was still sitting beside Sokka, she explained. "It's a warning to the rest of the tribe that there is illness in our home. Nobody is to enter or leave until Hama checks on it and decides whether or not it's a risk for the rest of the village." Her eyes were filled with so much grief as she continued, her voice lowered to barely above a whisper. "The last time that hung on our door, our mother died."
"Hey." Zuko murmured, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder the way he often would when trying to speak honestly with Azula. "He'll be fine. Sokka is a strong, healthy young man. He'll kick this in no time."
Her smile was small but there as she turned away to join Kanna at the table where they ate their meal. Sokka remained curled up on the end of the couch, his face smushed up against the back cushions where he was supported by a pillow while he lightly dozed. His pained noises seemed to quiet as he tired himself out enough to rest. Zuko hoped a bit of sleep would do him some good in the long run. He knew Sokka hadn’t been sleeping all that well since they arrived in the south, neither of them had really slept well with recent events. It always seemed like there was something new to stress about with every day that came.
They were just finishing up their meals when a knock came at the door. Kanna shuffled over to greet whoever was on the other side when Zuko heard the muffled call of Hama through the sturdy wood. The elder took a moment to pull the door open and permitted her inside.
"Chief Hakoda informed me of the marker." Hama's words were hushed in their native tongue as she situated her shawl and briefly scanned the room. "Who is it?"
"Sokka." Kanna gestured at where the warrior was curled up asleep still. "He's not felt well since last night. His stomach has pained him all night."
"Did you give him any blubber tea?" She asked as she stepped into the home and stiffly approached the tribesman.
"I tried to but he ended up going before he drank any." The older woman informed easily. They spoke softly to one another as Katara remained seated at the table, anxiously fidgeting with her drink. Hama offered Zuko a brief nod of greeting.
"You've been vigilant?"
“Yes.” The soldier gave a curt nod and answered in water tribe.
“Good. How’s he doing?”
“No signs of fever so far.” Zuko reported easily. “The pain appears to be focused in the abdomen. His coloring and temperature look good, but he was having a little trouble getting warm again after a brief step outside. He seems to also be having trouble getting comfortable and sleeping.”
“Has he eaten anything at all?”
“No.”
“Drank anything?”
“Just a little bit of warm cider.” Zuko answered softly. “A few sips or so.”
“Any nausea?” Zuko shook his head.
“He said he didn’t feel any earlier.”
“Alright.” Hama turned her attention on the warrior as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and spoke much louder to rouse him from his nap. “Sokka?”
The tribesman groaned and buried his face more into the pillow with a noise of refusal. “M’tired.” He mumbled through the padded fabric.
“I know hun but could you please sit up so I can take a look at you?” Hama urged. Sokka mumbled something under his breath that Zuko couldn’t catch as he squinted up at the healer. He could barely keep his eyes open as he blinked against the light and shifted sluggishly to roll onto his back. The pained moan that left him was accompanied by the warrior’s hands resting cautiously over his belly as he grimaced and squirmed.
“It hurts.” Sokka whined. Hama gave the warrior an apologetic look before pulling the blankets down to inspect the area. Just as Kanna had before, she probed around the area and felt for any signs of what could be the cause of the young tribesman’s misery. Sokka sucked in a sharp breath and shoved Hama’s hand away when her inspection was getting to be too much for the man to handle.
“Please stop.” His eyes were dewy in the low light as he sucked in a quick shaky breath. Zuko just wanted to reach out and hold him and make everything feel better but he couldn't and it hurt to see Sokka so miserable.
Hama took a step back from the couch as she moved towards the kitchen to speak with Kanna for a few minutes. Sokka curled back up to get as comfortable as he could. Zuko reached out to pat the warrior's hand comfortingly when Sokka's fingers turned to catch at the soldier's before weaving together in a tight hold. Zuko gave his hand a squeeze of reassurance as he turned his attention towards the older women in the room.
They were speaking in hushed tones in their native language so Zuko was struggling to really catch what was being said. Judging by the look on Katara's face, she could hear it, and the news didn't look good. Her expression fell as her eyes grew watery in the firelight. She covered her mouth with in an attempt to hide her feelings until she could better compose them, but it quickly appeared to be a losing battle as she eventually ended up heading back to her room instead with hasty strides.
Kanna had a grim look when Hama shuffled back to the sofa and spoke. "Sokka?"
The warrior answered with a tired grunt.
"We're going to be moving you to a sick hut just to be safe in case this ends up being contagious." Hama explained carefully. Sokka lifted his head as he turned his attention on the older woman as he inquired about the illness. But the word he spoke was unfamiliar to Zuko in the native tongue leaving him puzzled and unaware of the gravity those words incited in those around him.
"It very well could be." Hama nodded. "But we won't know for sure just yet." Then she turned to address Zuko with a sad smile. "Li, you'll be going with him too since you're the most likely to have been exposed to this illness."
Zuko nodded in understanding. He didn't feel ill at all despite being around Sokka more often than anyone else in his family but it could just be one of those things he had built up an immunity to due to his military service. He's bumped into more than his fair share of ailments in close quarters but thankfully hadn't caught any of them. His cousin Lu Ten wasn't as fortunate as he was.
Hama went on to discuss the protocols that the village implemented during times of illness. Both Kanna's household and Bato's would be expected to stay in and observe for any signs of exposure and symptoms since Sokka would have been around them often. Kanna prepared packs for Zuko to take with him of food and various other supplies he'll need to care for the both of them during those few days while Hama gave the soldier a list of dietary restrictions that Sokka would be on during this time.
Zuko packed the extra blankets in his and Sokka's room along with spare clothes for however long they would end up staying there. Hama suggested anywhere between a few days up to two weeks depending on how severe this case might be. He grabbed his theater scrolls to help them pass the time. There were still one or two that they hadn't yet read that would be nice to look forward to.
It took a bit of effort to get Sokka on his feet and dressed in his cold gear. He couldn't put his boots on properly without the pain making him light headed and nauseous, so Zuko had him sit in a chair while he situated everything and had him dressed warmly in his parka.
As they walked to the hut with Hama accompanying them, Zuko helped Sokka trudge along the slippery portions of the paths. He could walk on his own but the effort was painful and he was short of breath. Zuko would pause and wait for the tribesman whenever he'd buckle over, his hands pressed against his abdomen with a miserable groan. Hama was patient as she stood by and watched the pair collect themselves and keep moving.
"I'll bring over some fresh supplies shortly. Fish bone broth will replenish what he's lost. Nothing too fatty or oily, it could make his symptoms worse." She lectured to her apprentice. "If you can, add garlic to every meal. It'll help fight the infection and prevent it from worsening. I suggest you increase your intake of it as well."
"Got it." Zuko grunted, feeling much more familiar with this line of treatment. "We used it in the Fire Nation military when illness found its way into the camps and we didn't have easy access to ginger. It tends to grow wild all over the Earth Kingdom."
"The Earth Kingdom is where we got it from as well and discovered it grows quite well in our winters." She hummed in agreement. "I'll bring over a collection of pine sap. You remember how to prepare it into a disinfectant?"
"Yes."
"Good." Hama approved. "Clean and sterilize anything he might come in contact with. You know the routine."
"Yes." Zuko nodded. "Thank you."
"I'll check on you both in the mornings and in the evenings. If anything happens and you need my immediate attention, place the red marker on the door." Zuko nodded in understanding once more. The hut in question was right across the path a little ways from Hama's healing hut. Zuko had always assumed someone lived there alone since the place was quite small. Just a single room dwelling with a fireplace. If she poked her head out the door of her healing hut, she would be able to see the front door quite easily. It was on the very edge of the village as well, hugging the same stretch of exterior that Kanna's, Bato's and the stables did leading towards the hillside.
Hama didn't follow them in but she held the door open for the two men as Zuko carried their belongings inside. It was cold and dark so the first thing he did was light a lantern and direct Sokka towards the only bed in the hut. This place was even smaller than Kanna's hut with only enough space for the kitchen area which was half the size of the one he had grown accustomed to work in. He had a tiny preparation table, no dining room table to eat at, a little sofa that resembled more of an armchair and a single bed that was at least big enough for two people. There was a corner of the hut that was curtained off that when Zuko peeked behind it, he realized it had a chamber pot set up inside.
'Lovely.' He turned back to the bed to help Sokka take his winter layers off and cover him up with blankets. Everything was a little dusty which Zuko would need to take care of but only after he got the fireplace going. There was a pile of wood neatly stacked beside it that he arranged nicely in the hearth before lighting it. It took a bit to get the flames to catch but once it did, it crackled and grew quickly to catch the dry wood. Zuko took a few minutes to warm his hands up before grabbing a bucket from beside the fire to step out and collect as much snow as he could to melt down for water so he could at least start on cleaning.
He found the kettle and washed it thoroughly first before setting it to boil. Hama had knocked firmly on the door when she stopped by but like before, she didn't enter. Zuko opened it to find her lingering on the other side as she passed over the bucket of pine sap, baskets of food goods and a few more spare blankets. The soldier was grateful for all the help as he gathered it all up and carried it inside.
It was aid and support like this that continued to remind him of how different things would be in the Fire Nation. From what he has heard from the men he served beside, it was an every man for themselves type of mentality. If a farmer was down on his luck with the crops, it was a struggle and a burden they carried alone. The communities weren't as bad as Caldera tended to be, but it was nothing like how the Water Tribe cared for their own.
Zuko adjusted the lantern to inspect the contents of the baskets as he rummaged about, listing it off as he went. "Garlic, winter onions, potatoes, fish bones-" He was surprised to see they were still frozen from wherever they had been stored previously. He wasn't sure if the Water Tribe had their own cold storage through winter. "Hey Sokka? Are you hungry?"
Glancing over at the warrior, he spied the larger man huddled up in the blankets where he was sitting upright with his knees tucked closer to his body. He had them wrapped around his shoulders and even drawn up over his head a bit as he shivered. The room was steadily warming up with the fireplace roaring at Zuko's back.
"Some hot fish broth might help you warm up a bit."
He couldn't tell if Sokka was still awake or not, but after a minute the warrior gave a short jerky nod with a mumbled. "Sure."
The soldier cleaned a few more pots to get any of the dust off before setting them to boil the bones down into a broth. While that cooked, he started scrubbing down the surfaces to get the dust off and make things a bit more manageable for their foreseeable stay. When the broth was prepared, he poured it into a clean mug that was easier to sip at and carried it over to the tribesman.
"Here Sokka." The warrior took it carefully in hand as he unfurled from his blankets and gripped it firmly between his palms. He stared down at the cup and sighed tiredly. "Something wrong?"
There was a quiet shake of his head as his face scrunched up into a scowl. "I'm sorry you're stuck here with me."
Zuko raised a brow in question. "Why?" He took a seat at the edge of the bed so he was resting next to Sokka and smiled. "If I wasn't here, who would help take care of you? No offense but you're not that good at cooking, Sokka."
There was a tiny shift of his lips into the ghost of a smile but it quickly fell shortly after as he continued to look displeased with himself.
"Besides, I get a chance to take care of you now." Zuko offered with a little bit of optimism. "Which means it's my turn to read the scrolls to you though I can't promise the funny voices, sorry."
Sokka nodded but he didn't seem to cheer up much. He lifted the mug to his lips and blew at the steam that drifted up before taking a cautious sip. Zuko was satisfied that he seemed to stomach that better. He was about to rise when Sokka spoke, repeating the same Water Tribe word that he had when speaking with Hama.
"I'm not familiar with that word." Zuko admitted sheepishly. "What is it?"
"I suppose the closest Earth Kingdom translation might be....gut rot."
"Gut rot?" The soldier echoed, to which Sokka confirmed with a nod.
"It's an infection that breaks down the organs of the digestive system." He laid a cautious hand over his abdomen and frowned. "It can be contagious at times and very deadly."
"Oh." That sounded familiar though as he thought hard about the symptoms a bit more. Abdominal pain, digestive deterioration, infection-
"Agni's flaming cock." Zuko hissed before lamenting. "I know this illness. Sokka you dumbass!"
"What?" The warrior balked and looked baffled as Zuko stared at his giant stupid fucking platypus bear of an idiot boyfriend.
"This is a common illness that afflicts the stablehands in our camps." The soldier pointed out, a flood of relief washing over him. "You got it from the stables the other day. The incubation period makes sense now as well as you not showing any warning signs."
"Really?"
"Yes." Zuko gave the warrior a firm pat on the head as he smirked. "I will say the next few days are going to be really shitty for you." Sokka's jaw gaped at the unintentional pun, his mouth curved in amusement as Zuko stood up from the bed and rolled his sleeves back up. "But you'll be perfectly fine. Hama gave me everything I needed to handle this. You just need to ride it out."
"Easier said than done." Sokka grumbled.
"Drink your broth." Zuko chided. "You need to drink everything I give you okay? Even if you don't feel good because it'll kill off the infection sooner."
"You're starting to sound like Hama." Sokka sighed as he leaned back into the pillows and nursed his drink. "You're always full of surprises my fiery little ferret."
The soldier rolled his eyes but was relieved to see Sokka's outlook had improved a little. For someone unfamiliar with the illness, especially in these conditions, it was understandable to feel afraid for the outcome. Even with all the knowledge they had on this ailment, they still lost people to it but the odds were in Sokka's favor. They caught it quickly so now it can be treated, Sokka is a strong healthy young man, and his case doesn't seem as severe as it could be. At the most, Zuko expected a few days before it passes.
Now he just needed to get this hut situated into something livable during that time. Throwing a few more logs on the fire, he began preparing a meal that was much easier on Sokka's stomach for lunch. Working with fresh garlic was a nice change and Zuko could definitely smell it when he diced up the cloves.
Hakoda couldn't relax once he had returned to Bato's. After seeing the marker on his mother's door, he felt his heart drop into his stomach. Hama was quick to check on his family despite the early hour and he reluctantly returned to his lover's home to wait for news. His first concern was that Kanna had fallen ill of something and how his children might feel, watching a motherly figure in their lives struggle through illness a second time and with her age, the risk of losing her.
But then Hama returned to give him the news. It wasn't just any kind of ailment that had stricken his family, but one of the most common killers in their tribes. To think Sokka had been afflicted with it so suddenly, even worse was the question of what might have caused it? Hama didn't know and neither did Kanna. Sokka was healthy and energetic the night before, acting his normal self and now….
This was the same illness that killed Kanut's eldest brother Chief Inuksuk along with a handful of their tribe. Tainted meat that hadn't been properly prepared cost the lives of dozens of people and sickened many more at the height of the coldest months. Tekkeitsertok and Hakoda had sent what supplies they could spare along with one of Hama's previous apprentices to assist them after their own healer had succumbed to the illness.
They haven't had a case of this in the wolf tribe in years, and they had always been lucky for that. Hakoda feared that their luck might run out eventually. He just prayed to the spirits that this illness won't take his son from him.
Not even Bato's comforting words could silence his worries as they were forced to hold up in their homes just on the rare chance that Sokka could have spread the illness to them. He knew the rest of the village was taking their own precautions on the matter as they always did when sickness appeared among them. It's what has kept them safe and alive for so long.
"Li will take care of him." Bato reassured as he rested his hands on the chief's stiff shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Worrying won't help anyone, Koda. Just have faith and hope for the best."
"I'm trying." Hakoda sighed as he slumped back against Bato's chest and frowned down at the kitchen table where he had been attempting to do some busy work to distract himself. It wasn't doing the trick at all. His mind was racing and he couldn't silence the cold icy fear that settled in his chest. "What if they both get it?"
"Hama is keeping an eye on them." Bato reminded then spoke sternly. "Hakoda, don't do this to yourself. You're not going to lose them. Everything is going to be alright."
"I know, it's just…." His voice trailed off, sounding small and fragile as his throat grew tight and hard to swallow around. Thoughts of Kya accompanied the burn of tears rising in his eyes. "Every winter is like this ever since I lost her, Bato." He admitted with a crack in his voice. "It's so hard to get through it without-"
He gestured absently at the door and sucked in a shaky breath. "I thought that it was just the house that was the problem but it still hurts."
"I know." Bato wrapped his arms around the chief's waist and urged him to turn around and face him. Hot tears raced down his cheeks as he rested his head on his lover's shoulder. "When we lose someone we love, they never quite leave us. It's okay to still hurt and to miss her, Koda. She was a big part of your life, she gave you two beautiful children and many happy years. That will never go away and that's okay."
Hakoda dragged in a shaky breath as he swallowed around the lump in his throat, hoping to find his words. He loved her more than anything, and he loves Bato the same but he can't help but feel that it's unfair to both of them that he's still stuck in the middle ground after losing her. Bato cradled his jaw and pressed a kiss to his brow before resting their foreheads together.
"Maybe if the war ends this Summer we could try a vacation next winter." Bato offered with a hum. "I hear backpacking across the Si Wong Desert could be fun. Sokka says there's supposedly a hidden library out there."
Hakoda snorted at the offer and shook his head as a smile spread. "And leave Humpy all alone?"
"Are you saying I can bring Humpy along on vacation?" Bato teased.
"No." He blurted quickly. "Let Kodiak watch him for a winter. He'll be fine." Bato snickered as he ran his hands along the chief's back and smiled.
"Time heals many wounds, but grief is the hardest one to heal." He murmured against his lover's brow. "It'll be alright Koda, and you know Kya will be watching over Sokka. He'll be just fine."
He gave a small hum of acknowledgement as he wiped the tears away and snaked his arms around Bato's hips. They just stood there, holding each other as he let all these feelings start to bleed away and his racing thoughts tired against these reassurances.
Whoever decided a chamber pot inside a sick hut with no windows was a good idea, has never had to sit inside one for an extended period of time. For the sake of Sokka's remaining dignity, he opted not to say anything about it and instead dug around the supplies they had to see if there was any way to deal with it in a discreet way. The tribesman already wasn't feeling too well as the pain worsened and he ended up spending more time on the chamber pot than in the bed.
The soldier was relieved to find a few dried bushels of lavender and sage that Hama had thankfully tied up with a bit of twine and prepared from her personal garden. He set it alight at the tips so only the edges burned and smoldered, letting the fragrant smoke drift around the room. She even sent along a small wooden stand to rest it in so it could continue to burn while he worked around the hut.
"I swear you thought of everything." Zuko murmured to himself with a small smile as he finished sorting through their things. He added a few more logs to the fire and laid the extra blankets on the bed to chase away the chill that seemed to still bother Sokka. The smaller man returned to hide behind his little smoky fog of lavender and stirred the pot of garlic vegetable soup with sprigs of thyme and a little bit of oregano. There were some bits of smoked arctic hen added in since there wasn't much meat to choose from that wasn't too heavy or oily for Sokka to have. It appeared Kanna had that appreciated foresight.
Scooping out a helping into a bowl for Sokka, Zuko carried it over to the bed where his platypus bear was all curled up again, looking like a tiny bump in the middle of the big bed.
"Sokka." He nudged the warrior's shoulder as he sat on the edge of the bed and waited. "I made lunch."
"I'm not really hungry." The warrior grunted as he buried his face into the pillows.
"You need to eat." Zuko asserted. "Remember what I said earlier? This'll help fight off the infection."
Another grunt followed as he curled up tighter. Zuko frowned and gave his shoulder a little shake. "Sokka please."
There wasn't even a sound this time. The prince sighed as he set the bowl on the tiny nightstand beside the bed and noted the way the tribesman's hair was still scattered in front of his face.
"If you don't sit up to eat then I reserve the right to braid your hair into as many ridiculous things as I want." He warned. There was a little twitch of movement before Sokka turned his head to stare at the prince with an incredulous lift of his brow. "I even brought my hair ribbons to do it. Don't tempt me."
"Is that supposed to be a threat or a promise?" Sokka asked after a moment.
"What would you prefer?"
The warrior considered the idea then started to unfurl from his huddle as he admitted. "I'll eat."
"Is this so I won't do your hair?"
Sokka snorted at the thought as he shoved up to sit upright and adjusted the pillows to prop himself up. "You can do my hair after I'm done eating." The tribesman held his hands out towards the bowl. Zuko set it in the warrior's grasp and rose from his seat to collect his own bowl of soup, pausing on his way back to dig out his comb and ribbons before returning to sit beside his dorky platypus bear.
They ate with some conversation littered throughout as Zuko asked Sokka what he wanted done with his hair. The warrior entertained the idea and offered equally as ridiculous thoughts that his hair was nowhere near long enough to achieve but it got a few laughs stirring between them.
"I'll see what I can do." Zuko promised. Their conversation drifted a bit away from hair styles and towards food as the soldier inquired. "The fish bones Hama brought for us were still frozen."
Sokka nodded as he took a bite of the tender smoked hen and turned his attention towards his ferret.
"Does the village have a cold storage?"
"Beneath the longhouse." He poked his spoon around the bowl and bullied a piece of one of the vegetables. "Kodiak and a few of the men go out and carve pieces of the ice floats up to bring back and store in the underground cellar. During the winter they pile snow in around it to keep the fresh meat and fish cold."
"Huh." Zuko wasn't expecting that but if it could keep everything frozen solid like this, then he could see the perks of having a place like that. Especially with how cold the ground seems to get and stay for, it could last even past the thaw. "Interesting."
The warrior bobbed his head in agreement. "It's pretty cool but the crawlspace is really small." He made a face at that as he grumbled. "It was fun going down there when I was a kid but now it just hurts my back."
"It's not platypus bear friendly?"
"No." Sokka whined, giving Zuko a dramatic little pout in answer. "It most certainly is not."
"How rude of it." The soldier snickered. "Well, I think it might be fire ferret friendly so I'll just have to go down there for you."
The warrior purred at the idea as he took another bite of his soup. "Sounds like an ingenious plan, my mischievous little ferret." Zuko snorted in amusement and clapped a hand over his mouth to stifle some of his laughter. Sokka grinned back at him with a little more life in his eyes.
When they were finished with their meals, Zuko collected the bowls to sit on the tiny kitchen counter and stoked the fire before returning to his big soft warrior. They had both adjusted their positions so Zuko was behind the warrior as he stroked the comb through the tangled mess of bedraggled hair and started to part the different sections so he could neatly braid it. Sokka closed his eyes and relaxed into the sensation of Zuko's fingers working through his hair and across his scalp as he gathered the strands he needed and started weaving them together. He braided and unbraided them, testing different styles that looked nice and framed the warrior's face to accentuate the strong bone structure and handsome cheekbones.
Eventually he gave up on braiding anything and set his comb and hair ribbons back on the nightstand, and instead combed his bare fingers back and forth as Sokka fell asleep with his head resting in Zuko's lap.
Notes:
I JUST HIT MY GOAL OF 1MILLION WORDS WORTH OF CONTENT IN 1 FANDOM IN LESS THAN 1 YEAR YALL!!!
I did it in a little over 9 months!!!
Now onward to my secondary goal of reaching 1,100,000 words before August.
So educational home remedies featured in this chapter include:
Garlic has the ability to fight off infections and helps kill bacteria related to things like E. Coli and Salmonella. It's great for stomach problems and helping the immune system. It is also a winter plant that can survive in temps as low as -30f.
Pine Sap can be used as a disinfectant, antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, covering wounds, and various other wonderful uses.
Sage and lavender are also cold hardy plants that do a great job as being burned to cleanse odors from a home. Soaking lemon slices and thyme in boiling water also helps.
Seal blubber, whale blubber, and various different fish oils do a great job of managing problems like constipation and digestive issues. They work as a natural laxative that lines the intestinal tract.
Fish bones are great for making into a broth because they're high in sodium and the marrow gives back a lot of nutrients lost during illness.
Chapter 52
Summary:
Part 2 of Sokka being sick
Bato and Hakoda talk about their future
Notes:
I've been sitting on this chapter partially written for about a month now. I hope yall enjoy it. My ADHD has been strong these last few weeks and I've been struggling to just focus on one fic at a time.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Hama had come to check on them late in the evening as she knocked on the door and waited patiently for Zuko to answer. The soldier almost missed the sound of her visit as he dozed quietly at Sokka’s side in the bed. Rousing hastily from the nap, he dislodged himself from where the tribesman had been curled up against his side and tossed another log on the dying fire as he passed. The woman was still waiting on the other side when he cracked the door open to speak with her.
Thankfully, she kept their exchange brief as all the warm air started to leak out, quickly replaced by the frigid chill that had his teeth starting to chatter dressed down like this.
“How is he doing?” She asked, brows pinched to make out the prince’s face and peer beyond his figure to see Sokka in the back of the hut still dead asleep.
“A bit better. He’s eating, drinking plenty of fluids and finally fell asleep a little bit ago.” Zuko folded one arm half around himself as he leaned against the doorframe and added. “I have some personal experience in handling this kind of illness from my time in the Fire Nation military.” Her eyes widened at that but she didn’t intend to interrupt as Zuko continued. “His symptoms are quite mild so he should see a full recovery in a few days as long as nothing changes.”
“That’s good news to hear.” Zuko could see the visible relief on her wrinkled old face as they faced the rapidly dwindling light of day.
“It’s not contagious from proximity.” He firmly reassured with a sliver of a weary smile offered with how tired he was at the moment. “I strongly suspect that Sokka picked this up from the stables the other day when we were visiting Humpy. It’s the most common place this infection is contracted in the military.”
“I see.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’ll inform the rest of his family and lift the isolation order from their homes. In the meantime, you two should remain where you are.” Zuko nodded in understanding. He was kind of grateful that they weren’t currently crammed into Kanna’s home dealing with all of this on top of everything else. He suspected it would be hard on the elder woman, and especially Katara, to have to watch her brother struggle through something this unpleasant. The soldier on the other hand, had no qualms about playing caretaker for his big dorky platypus bear, and oddly enough, this gave them the rare opportunity for peace and privacy together. It wasn’t ideal, but it was something and Zuko appreciated it.
Hama didn’t linger long after the report. She assured Zuko that she’d drop off more bundles of aromatics in the morning should he need more, along with more wood for the fire before bidding them a good night. The prince was more than happy to tuck himself back inside with the door shut firmly behind him. The whole room had grown much colder with the draft slipping through. He piled the wood generously in the hearth before crawling back into the bed to join Sokka under the covers. The tribesman was shivering a little as he lifted his head with a sleepy eyed half daze and settled it on Zuko’s shoulder as they curled up together.
Zuko gratefully accepted the desperate clinginess of his platypus bear, and relished in the radiated warmth from his body as they tucked flush against each other. He wrapped a comforting arm around Sokka and ran his fingers through the larger man’s hair where it tumbled down his shoulders from earlier. There was a soft grumble from the tribesman but it was too muffled for Zuko to make out as Sokka exhaled slowly and started to drift back off to sleep. The prince hummed approvingly at the steady rhythm of his breathing and stared up at the darkened ceiling of their quaint little hut until he started to fall asleep.
It was becoming a theme lately, as Zuko roused from his sleep at the early hour of morning to the sound of Sokka’s miserable groans. Pawing around in the dark to find the lantern, he blinked away the blurriness of his eye and yawned. The faint aroma of the aromatic bundle drifted around the room where the tribesman had lit it and tucked it into the bathroom space with him. The faint white wisps of smoke rose up from behind the curtains. Near the hearth was another bundle that was freshly smoldering, which greeted Zuko with the appreciated aroma that fended off Sokka’s pungent misfortune.
The hearth had a handful of logs tossed into it where the tribesman had tried to hastily stoke the flames back to life. It didn’t take much more effort from the soldier to get it going the rest of the way. As he waited for it to reach the right size and ferocity, he prepared a hot drink for his tired platypus bear when he was done and started his work for breakfast.
More of the fish bone broth sounded like a good idea from the way Sokka was handling the morning. Yesterday was a good start but not a fast fix, though there was still plenty of potential and progress was always a relief to see. The mortality rate with this illness was extremely low in the Fire Nation, but not low enough to avoid risks and casualties. They did have better response times, recovery times, and improved sanitation methods that reduced the chance of spreading it. There were still bumps in the road regarding this ailment, including those who faced the worst cases walking away with permanent damage to their digestive tract, or several long unpleasant months of recovery if they were lucky. He's served beside men who had permanent damage from this ailment and it wasn't a comforting experience at all. He sympathized with them dearly after his long hard battle with sickness as a child. The scars never quite healed right, but they learned to adapt to the inconveniences with time and patience.
It was his goal to ensure Sokka didn't have to deal with that problem, so with the utmost care and caution in navigating his recovery, the soldier was methodical in planning out the meals for the rest of the day based on their available supplies.
When the broth was ready and so was the warm drink, Sokka had already returned to bed with a deflated flop under the blankets. He was a bit sweaty and exasperated as he pawed at the bedding to curl up under it with a shaky sigh as Zuko carried the food over to the tribesman. He didn't need to convince Sokka to eat this time as the larger man took turns sipping at the drink and the broth until it was gone.
It didn't escape the prince just how exhausted the other man looked. His skin was a little flushed but nothing that felt feverish when Zuko checked. "How are you feeling? Any nausea yet?"
"No." The warrior grunted with a small shake of his head. "Jus' tired." He mumbled as he buried his face into the pillow when the prince took the empty dishes aside to rest them on the bedside table.
"Feeling any improvement?" He asked as he trailed his fingers through Sokka's hair to draw it back away from his brows. There was a noncommittal shrug in response, then a gentle tug as Sokka's hand snaked up between them both to silently draw the soldier closer.
"Cuddle." The warrior mumbled pathetically as he lifted weary blue eyes to plead over at his ferret. Zuko had no reason to deny the request as he sank down beside Sokka and let the warrior rest his head against his chest to get comfortable. A hum of approval left the larger man's chest like a stormy rumble. Zuko smiled, rolling his eyes to himself as he toyed with Sokka's hair in absent strokes while the warrior chased after his far too brief rest.
They had fallen back asleep. Both of them had as Zuko dozed off with Sokka sprawled across him. It was only by virtue of Hama's visit knocking on the door that roused him from his nap. He stirred and scrambled up to receive the delivery of more fresh goods and firewood. Sokka had stirred at the noise and commotion, but once Hama left, Zuko didn't even bother to put any of it away. He felt a little whittled down to the bones himself as he shuffled towards the bed and rejoined Sokka under the covers. He couldn't tell if he had a delayed exposure to the same illness since he was with Sokka in the stables and they had been quite physical during it, or if this was just days of stress finally catching up and putting the hurt on him.
Either way, he just wanted more sleep.
Hakoda was relieved to hear the news about Sokka's condition. Li was familiar with it enough to be confident in the tribesman's full recovery which eased a heavy weight off of his mind. He suspected Bato was relieved for numerous reasons as his lover gently teased him when Hama left to inform Kanna and Katara that they didn't need to isolate anymore.
"See Koda?" His lover hummed as he resumed preparing breakfast. "Nothing to worry about. Sokka is in good hands."
His smile was tired, but there as he directed it towards Bato. "I can't help but worry these days." He lamented forlornly. "There's too much going on and too many things going wrong."
"Just sounds like another winter to me." The taller man snorted in amusement. Hakoda could definitely agree with that. Every winter just felt like it was getting harder and harder, not in the way it used to be but with all of this political yakshit they had to juggle come spring. Some days he regretted picking up the mantle after Tekkeitsertok stepped down from War Chief. He understood that Tuktu had no war experience whatsoever given his youth and his village's history of avoiding conflicts. Which was quite ironic considering they used to be home to some of the fiercest warriors back during the time of the warring tribes. They've become much more relaxed and focused on farming and hunting than combat. Then there was Kanut. Even if his people didn't need him so badly to stay, he had his little brother Cupun to care for, and had unofficially adopted Suíqak's pair of twin Fire Nation war prizes. It'd be easier to ask him to fight a polar bear barehanded than to leave his brother and two wards behind for a whole summer.
That left Hakoda as the only option left, and he was in a stable position to leave and still ensure his tribe was cared for by his family and the rest of the elders. It didn't make any of this any easier.
Bato nudged him out of his thoughts when he set the warm plate of food down in front of Hakoda at the table. His furrowed brows softened as he relaxed against the seat and chased away the tension that settled over him. Bato settled a hand atop his shoulder to give it a comforting squeeze as he bent down to press a kiss to the chief's cheek. Hakoda turned towards him and nuzzled their foreheads together with a smile.
"Things are changing for the better." His lover reassured him softly. "This is our chance for a fresh start. For us, for the tribe, for everyone."
"I hope you're right." He sighed as he picked up his fork to eat. Bato settled in across from him in their usual spots with a knowing smile. After a few bites of food to ease his growling stomach into contentment, Hakoda noticed the way Bato's smile grew until the humor reached his eyes in a quiet laugh. "What's so funny?"
"Oh nothing." His lover hummed, mouth crooked in a half grin he was trying, very poorly might Hakoda add, to conceal it. "Just thinking about our wedding in the Spring."
"Oh?" Now that was something the chief was pleased to distract himself with. "Anything in particular?"
Bato swallowed down a bite of puffin seal sausage before humoring his curiosity. "Who is going to throw us into the water for the ceremony."
"Ah." Hakoda chuckled. "The kids for certain."
"And your mother." Bato added as he prodded his fork around the plate. "But I'm not sure who will be the fourth."
"Well, there is the crew." The chief toyed with the thought. He could imagine any one of the men would be pleased to throw them into the ocean for their reintroduction to La as a bonded pair. "Half the village would definitely like to."
Bato snorted in amusement. “That they would.” The taller man stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Humpy.”
“I am not letting Humpy knock me into the sea.” Hakoda blurted quickly, frowning at the thought of that evil camel coming anywhere near him and the water. The last thing he wanted was to get trampled. The chief’s dislike of the beast of numerous burdens dragged a bark of genuine laughter out of his lover’s chest as he leaned back in the chair with one hand resting upon his breast. His expression softened as he watched the tears spring to the corners of Bato’s eyes from the force of his delight at the mental image the camel apparently inspired in his mind.
“The reintroduction aside…..” He let his words trail thoughtfully as the real weight of his worries come Spring finally reared their head. His partner seemed to notice the tension that returned in Hakoda’s shoulders before he deflated in his seat with a weariness that went deeper than the surface. “I’m worried about the kids.”
“How so?”
“Everything still feels like this massive unknown and each day that goes by, each day that takes us closer, just fills me with dread and I-” Hakoda paused as he dropped his gaze to his half empty plate. How was he going to say these things aloud? These frustrations and fears that troubled him for much longer than he cared to acknowledge. It felt selfish in some ways, while leaving him ashamed in others even though it was the best choice for himself and his people in the long run. At least, he could only hope so. He had to believe it was in order to live with himself at least until the day when reality may prove him wrong. “I’m just so tired, Bato. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. This-” He gestured around but he meant more beyond their home.
“The war?” His lover broached a familiar well worn topic that he’s fought with himself on time and time again over the past six years.
“Being war chief, handling the fate of the whole South in all of this….” He let his head fall to rest in the palm of his hands as he lamented. “I know the trade agreement was my idea to begin with and it feels hypocritical of me to say, but I’m kind of glad we’re intending to leave it. I’m just worried about what Kyoshi and the sister islands will think of our decision.”
“They’ll just have to deal with it. They didn’t send any men to fight in the war like we did.” Bato offered with sincerity as he made a noise of consideration. “The agreement was that we would only sustain it as long as the war and our resources permitted, but if the Earth Kingdom went back on that, then it’s not exactly something we could account for. Breaking away indefinitely is a gamble, but it's the right thing for us to do as we are now. We’ve suffered enough casualties to it.”
That felt like the understatement of the century as far as Hakoda was concerned. They lost too many men this year with the storm that took an entire ship crew under. It was a ragtag mixture of Tuktu’s, and a small handful of Tekkeitsertok’s men.
As Hakoda fell quiet where he toyed absently with the fork in his grasp and let a heavy breath escape him, Bato cocked his head in a small attempt to catch his attention. “The trade agreement isn’t your only concern, is it?”
He gave a small shake of his head in answer. “Sokka.” Hakoda grunted tiredly.
“Thought so.” There was a soft sigh in answer as he lifted his gaze to catch Bato’s as he cradled his jaw in one hand. His lover offered a reassuring smile. “He’s a common phenomenon of concern lately.”
“That he is.” Hakoda agreed with a small weary smile. "He always manages to find himself in...particularly interesting situations."
"Like the gull house." Bato chuckled at the memory, recalling a small boy, teary eyed with socks stuffed into his pockets as Hakoda carried him in his arms. His son was petrified of the birds for quite a while afterwards, and was quick to run away or begin crying in their presence if one so much as looked at him oddly. That fear didn't transfer over to the otter penguins though, as strange as it was.
"Yeah." Hakoda hummed in agreement. The thought lit a warmth in his belly with the fond memories of so long ago. Of the days when both his kids were small and so terribly curious about the world. Katara had grown content with time, but Sokka's craving for more only grew stronger. The war couldn't dampen those feelings and the young prince in their presence only strengthened the warrior's resolve.
Hakoda had always thought Sokka would succeed him someday. It was his hope to hand the mantle off to his son but as each year passed by, he realized that this desire was less a fulfillment for Sokka and more of a desire for Hakoda to try and keep his little boy close to home. After what transpired these last few weeks, the chief feared that Sokka would chase these feelings and follow Zuko back to the Fire Nation. He wanted to be happy for his son, he wanted to feel relieved in knowing he found someone he felt so strongly for, that he loved dearly and wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but he feared for the fallout. He was afraid of losing his boy to this great big world, or worse, that Sokka will have his heart shattered by it all and return home a shadow of his former self.
"Are you rethinking the succession?" Bato asked after the extended silence filled the space between them in the absence of his words. It was an old worry of his these last few years, and now that so much was changing around him, he found himself questioning it all.
"I don't know." Hakoda admitted. "I don't even know if I want to still be Chief any longer." It felt selfish to say, but Hakoda was almost fifty years old. He wanted to be able to enjoy the rest of his life with his best friend by his side without all of the stress and worry that this position brought with it.
"Okay." His partner looked puzzled. "So, if you want to retire, who do you have in mind to take your place? I can't imagine it being Sokka, he's still far too young for something like this." It wasn't unheard of for a village to have a Chief at such a young age, Kanut had been the same age as Sokka is now when he took over but that was in the face of tragedy. Of course Sokka had what Kanut didn't, and that was years of experience learning the job, helping the previous Chief and leading the village in war and times of struggle. But Sokka was also still brash and impulsive at times when his emotions took the reins.
"That's the problem. The first men to come to mind are Kodiak or Alik, but Alik is going to be preoccupied raising his twins." Hakoda sighed. "And Kodiak only agreed to take over as a temporary elder because it used to be his father's seat on the council. He has the ice vessels and Lukka to focus on."
"Nobody wants Tonuk or Kela to take over." Bato snorted in amusement as Hakoda tried to imagine those two doing anything Chiefly and fell short.
Joking aside, he realized there was nobody in the entire village that could take over for him just yet, aside from Sokka that is. Realistically, the elders could take over in his stead until a new chief can be trained and take over as they approach an impending peace and the potential end of the war should things turn out as hoped for by the end of this Summer. He just didn't feel right placing that kind of responsibility and all those duties on the elders when they already shouldered these burdens for several long Summers in a row. It tended to get in the way of them being able to manage their own duties on top of it all.
With a heavy weight settled over his heart, Hakoda pointed out. "There is only Sokka." Then promptly shook his head in silent refusal. "I don't want to force him into this decision if it's not something he'll want or be happy with. His wants in life have changed and it'll just feel like an excuse to keep him close to home."
"I see." Bato folded his arms over his chest as he thought hard on this little conundrum they've found themselves in. Lifting a hand, his lover stroked his jaw in thought as he offered. "I could, and this is just temporary if you wish, ask around the village over the next few days to see if anyone is willing to step up and take on a few more duties to help us out."
Hakoda perked up at the idea as he straightened in his seat. As much as he had a habit of preaching to his children about asking others for help when it's needed, he often was the worst offender of failing to do the same himself. Of course, Bato was well aware of this bad habit which was why he was giving the older man a pointed look to agree.
"I suppose." He conceded, hesitantly at first as he urged. "But I don't really want Sokka to think this is his fault in any way."
"He won't." His lover assured him with a pleased smile. "Because the request will be to help until after our honeymoon."
"Oh?" He was intrigued and a little confused now. A quiet brow shot up in question, urging Bato to explain.
His lover relaxed and folded his hands casually atop the table. "By the time our honeymoon is over, you should know for certain what Sokka's intentions are and whether to begin a search for a new successor."
"True." Hakoda nodded. There was still plenty of time between now and then for Sokka to change his mind or figure out his own feelings regarding Zuko and their future after Spring.
"If worse comes to worse, you could always make Humpy chief."
Like a slap to the face, Hakoda blurted in refusal. "NO!" An enthusiastic denial that dragged an equally boisterous bark of laughter out of his partner as Bato cackled. He sagged back into his seat and sighed in defeat. " Nobody wants that demon to become chief."
"Hey!" Bato snickered. "That demon may save your life someday."
"Or take it." Hakoda rolled his eyes. Although he did feel a lot better at the thought of delegating more of his duties to the men around the village. It would offer some relief from his shoulders at least and he wouldn't be so tired and overwhelmed.
Sokka was getting sick of lying in bed but there were few positions of comfort that he could occupy that didn't make his gut feel worse. The worst of the pain had subsided since yesterday but there was still a tight cramping sensation that came and went. Usually it returned shortly before he needed to make a mad scramble out of the blankets to relieve himself. He felt guilty that Zuko was enduring this misery with him in this tiny hut. He couldn't fathom how in La's name the soldier hadn't gotten sick of this situation after the first day, or even how he maintained so much optimism in all of this.
He understood that a majority of his fiery little ferret's childhood was faced with hardship and the constant threat of illness keeping him bedridden. It was something Sokka couldn't even imagine what that might have been like. To feel weak and sickly for years. How did Zuko manage to get through it all? How did he not give in or give up? Two days of this yakshit and he was already considering whether or not throwing himself into the sea would be a more humane option. His whole body ached, his stomach was a mess, his guts twisted up into painful knots and that was just the half of it.
Zuko endured so much more at a much younger age for more than half of his life. He couldn't….just trying to wrap his head around it, he couldn't see how that was the right thing to do to a child. Was there ever a time where they considered just letting Zuko go? Would Zuko have wanted to endure something like that if he had a choice in the matter? In his tribe it wasn't an uncommon occurrence for the sickly who were suffering with no signs of ever improving, or who wouldn't be able to improve or survive their illness, to resort to a peaceful death guided by the healers. It was better that they be led to join their ancestors in the spirit world than to suffer through it in a vain hope that a miracle might happen.
It was this morbid thought racing circles in his head that led Sokka towards the dozens of questions he wasn't entirely sure how to approach. His ferret had made himself busy in the kitchen space preparing supper for them both as Sokka rolled over onto his back and grimaced when his gut rebelled against the decision. He adjusted, then curled back up on his left side after shifting the pillows to help support his body to alleviate the ache on his hips and back.
Several minutes passed with Sokka fidgeting and bobbing his ankle against the mattress restlessly. He wanted to move around more, to get up and pace, to do something more than just the three or so lousy steps it took to get to the bathroom from the bed. He gave a quiet groan as he buried his face into the pillow beneath his head and grimaced. He felt crappy and gross and anxious. He felt too tired and too restless at the same time which was a frustrating series of conflicting signals that made him even more annoyed with this situation.
After several minutes, his fiery little ferret carried the bowls towards their shared bed for them to eat together. The warrior was actually really liking all the extra unsupervised cuddle time they were getting like this. He didn't have to worry about Gran Gran jumping into the middle of it with a stern reprimand and a sharp reminder. When Zuko settled into his spot beside the tribesman, Sokka dragged himself up a little further so he was half reclined, half posted against his elbow to sit up just enough to eat without many problems. To his relief and surprise, dinner looked more solid than soup. There was even a slice of bread resting on the rim of his bowl.
"Katara made it this morning." The soldier explained with a smile. "Thought I'd make something a little more substantial to go with it if you're feeling up for it."
Sokka didn't even wait to take the slice of bread as he used it to scoop a few of the diced winter vegetables up with and ate greedily. Having something that wasn't broth was a relief to his empty growling stomach. The shredded bits of smoked arctic hen was doing wonders alongside it as he gorged himself on the small helping. Satisfied with Sokka's response, the soldier chuckled and smiled over the rim of his bowl as he proceeded to eat his own meal.
When Sokka was nearing the end of his bowl and feeling a bit full despite the small portion, he decided to ask what had been on his mind all day. "Do you-" He paused, cleared his throat when it cracked dryly then continued, setting his bowl to rest at his side. "Do you ever have any regrets in life?"
It was a bit late now to take the question back upon realizing this may be the wrong time to ask about such a sensitive subject. Zuko looked a bit taken aback by the inquiry as he swallowed his mouthful without choking on it. Not exactly the best timing, which Sokka winced about.
"Um…." The soldier started somewhat awkwardly and tried to brush the heavy topic off with a tight smile. "Aside from the obvious?"
"I probably should rephrase that….." Sokka grimaced to himself and fidgeted with his bowl in his grasp as he searched for the right way to put this that made sense. "Uh I guess what I was wondering was if you ever um, fuck." He frowned and squeezed his eyes shut as he berated himself. "This isn't an easy question."
"O-okay." Zuko sounded confused. Sokka hemmed and hawed a bit as he tried to find the right words, prompting his ferret to ask, warily as he did so. "Are you alright, Sokka?"
"I'm fine."
The ferret was giving him skeptical looks, so Sokka forced the words out in the best way he could before he lost his nerve. "I just…..with everything going on right now I just wondered if you ever regret surviving your childhood I guess?"
'Holy shit that sounds horrible to ask!' He scolded himself mentally.
"Fuck. That sounded worse than I meant it to sound. Shit-" Zuko looked shocked by the bluntness of his question and maybe even a bit horrified but it was really hard to tell with the way the scar tissue twisted up his expression uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. Forget I asked." He tried to hastily wave the whole thing off.
Zuko set his bowl down in his lap and fixed his gaze on Sokka. The warrior cringed at the tight set of the soldier's jaw and the pointed look in his eye that was a little more intense than he expected. The sudden silence and total stillness was itching at Sokka's nerves as he picked anxiously at the frayed hem of the blanket pinned between his fingers and his hip.
"Sometimes." The soldier eventually settled on. "Not as much as I used to, but I still do sometimes."
"I'm sorry, Zuko." Sokka sincerely meant it. This wasn't a conversation he should have brought up and it was stupid to let morbid curiosity steer him into doing so. It was a lapse in his own judgment.
"Don't be sorry." His ferret relaxed a little as he offered Sokka a reassuring smile. "I suppose this is something about my life I can safely share with someone I love and trust."
The warrior nodded briefly as he added. "Only if you want to."
Zuko reached out to touch Sokka's arm affectionately and smiled. "I want to." Then gestured around them with a cock of his head. "Besides, this is a pretty shitty situation all around, and I can share some of my own misery with you." It sounded optimistic but Sokka couldn't really see the reason for it, but he relented nonetheless. Zuko did take a moment to carry their empty bowls back to the kitchen area before crawling back into bed beside the warrior where they both could get more comfortable for this seemingly uncomfortable topic of discussion. Zuko wrapped an arm around Sokka to tuck the larger man closer to his side where he could rest his head against his fire ferret's shoulder.
"As you already know, I was really sickly as a child. From the day I was born, up until I was thirteen I believe." Zuko recalled with a quiet ease as Sokka relaxed against his ferret and listened closely. The fire crackled in the hearth filling the room with a comfortable warmth that allowed him to ease into the moment without having the blankets heaped up his torso in the process, though Zuko had snuggled underneath them when he returned.
"From what I was told, the Fire Sages, which are our spiritual healers in the Fire Nation, and the doctors both agreed that there wasn't anything they could really do to help me. I was too weak to survive and the best thing to do was to let me go." Sokka had wondered if that was an option they had considered, and knowing it now, he couldn't imagine watching a newborn struggle so fruitlessly for life and being told to let them pass on instead. It must have been painful to hear, but judging by the fact Zuko is by his side and not in the spirit world with his ancestors tells him his parents may have been unreceptive to that notion. "My father agreed to let me go, but my mother and my uncle couldn't bear the thought. They begged my grandfather to overrule Ozai's decision so that I had a chance to live."
Zuko added tiredly. "Somedays I wish my father had gone through with it anyway."
"Really?" The tribesman was still a bit too curious for his own good as he asked. "Why?"
"I spent almost fourteen years of my life too sick and weak to leave my home." Zuko explained with a slight bitterness to his tone. "At that point, it's become a prison to me more than a home. I couldn't do anything that normal kids could do. I had no friends to play with and I could hardly count my little sister or my cousin for that. Every day of my life, I was surrounded by doctors and sages, poking and prodding me to figure out why I was so sick and weak. Trying to figure out why I was having bad reactions to seemingly normal things. Why I wasn't improving at all despite their efforts."
The soldier shook his head. "They wanted answers and I just wanted to be left alone to die."
Sokka couldn't really blame him for feeling that way. Nothing about that situation sounded pleasant at all, and for a child who, for the most part of their life, didn't understand why any of this was happening to them. It stirred another thought that Sokka hadn't considered before to come forward.
"Wait, so is that why you enlisted in the military?" The warrior inquired, brows furrowed in thought. "For an excuse to not have to stay there any longer?"
Zuko looked startled by the question as he cocked a brow at the warrior like he never really thought about it before which alarmed Sokka. "I don't know." He admitted. "I just….once I hit sixteen and I was old enough and fit enough to pass the entry level examination, I did it and left." He shrugged. "I'm still not really sure why I wanted to. The idea just appealed to me I guess."
After a thoughtful pause, Zuko continued. "Maybe it was a reason to escape my perceived prison or maybe it was the hopeful thought that I might finally receive the death that's been following me all my life." There was another shrug at that as he shook his head, his golden eye fixed on the far wall. "It never scared me before but I don't wish that now."
"I see."
Zuko pursed his lips in thought as he worked around what he wanted to say after. He looked conflicted and uncertain before he finally let it out. "In a way, even though it sounds pretty messed up to say this, I really do wish my father had gone through with it."
Sokka was surprised by that admission. "Even now?"
"Don't get me wrong, Sokka." Zuko started, turning his attention on the warrior as he spoke these words with care and sincerity. "I'm happy when I'm with you, but a season of good can't erase twenty-four years of suffering. You said so yourself, you've seen how I was before we met. That was my entire life. I was no longer sick but these scars will never heal and the nightmares that accompany them will never go away."
"I understand." As much as it hurt to admit, he understood the reason for Zuko's feelings. He knew that his fiery little ferret may not have a death wish, but that won't stop him from wanting a different life for himself. Sokka wished he could erase all those bad memories and experiences for Zuko, but this wasn't some magical spirit tale. Love can't spontaneously cure a lifetime of pain and trauma, or recover a lost childhood that was steeped in loneliness and desperation. Life didn't work out that way, and so he was content with what he did have and that was his fiery slightly broken ferret by his side now.
"I still love you, flaws and all." He leaned up to press a kiss to Zuko's brow. The soldier's tight expression softened with a smile that cracked the tension and crumbled in relief. "You're still my feisty ferret."
A breathy laugh filtered out of the smaller man's chest as he conceded to the affection and slinked down a little further into the blankets with Sokka when the tribesman tucked him closer. "Though we do still need to get more meat on you. You're boney in places." He grumbled, running a hand along Zuko's hips for emphasis. His little ferret was padding out with the winter weather but it wasn't enough to Sokka's comfort, both for cuddling and just over all, because La damn it, Zuko was fucking skin and bones when they met. He was determined to give him the good ferret chub by Spring.
The soft laughter rose in Zuko's throat as he sank against Sokka with a smile. Their foreheads settled to rest against each other as the warrior wrapped his arms around the smaller man.
"I am happy you're here with me now, Zuko. Even with everything that happened, I'm glad we met."
Zuko nuzzled their noses together affectionately as he murmured. "I'm happy with you too, Sokka." His hand dropped down to smooth gently along the warrior's belly as he added. "Platypus bear pudge and all."
"You like my pudge?" Sokka's voice rose a little in pitch as he beamed, delighted.
"It's my favorite part of my big cuddly dorky platypus bear." Zuko lowered his head to rest his forehead on Sokka's shoulder as he sighed in contentment. "All the better for sleeping on."
"Awwww." Sokka preened, his smile cracked into a broad grin that stirred laughter from his ferret when his eye caught his beaming expression. Sokka tightened his hold on Zuko briefly in a fond squeeze as he stroked a hand up the soldier's back. The shitty situation aside, this was nice having this time with just the two of them. With nobody to interrupt or intervene, and even if Sokka made stupid mistakes, they could figure it out or talk it over. It made him the slightest bit hopeful for their future.
It had to be the early hours of morning when Hakoda woke to Bato shifting beside him. Still groggy with sleep, he turned his head to try and search for his lover's outline in the dark, one eye peeked past his eyelashes as he mumbled.
"Bato?" The younger man had carefully pushed himself up to sit. The vague shape of his silhouette was hard to make out but Hakoda could see the movement of his arm as he started to tie his hair back out of his face. "Something wrong?"
"No." His lover assured, apologetic as his shape twisted towards the chief and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep."
"You sure?" He caught the taller man's hand in his where it started to fix the blankets on his body where they began to slide down.
"I'll be back in a little bit. Keep the bed warm for me." Hakoda has known his best friend and betrothed long enough to know that translated to 'I'm going to check on Humpy because I can't sleep right now.'
"Alright." He relented and hunkered down further in the blankets as Bato rose off the edge of the bed to leave. Closing his eyes in an attempt to return to sleep, the chief could hear the soft rustling as Bato put a few more logs on the fire, then got dressed and slipped out the door. The cold draft that accompanied the absence stirred shivers through the chief as he crawled back towards the restful sleep he had been in all night.
Inspired by the absence, his dreams danced across older memories of Hakoda seeking his friend out in their youth. No matter how old Bato got, or even how young he had been, it wasn't unusual to find the man in the stables in the ghostly hours of night when he needed the comfort only the camel could give him. There had even been a few nights that Hakoda found the man sound asleep on the floor of the stall with Humpy curled around his special human to help keep him warm. As much as the chief joked about his dislike of the creature, he was well aware that Bato loved that camel like his own child, and Humpy was always there for him in a way that Hakoda never could be. Whether the ghosts of war were plaguing his mind or he found himself missing his parents, there was only so much Hakoda could do, and some days, Bato just needed his beloved camel to ease his burdens because Humpy had been there through it all.
With their engagement and upcoming bonding ceremony, Hakoda understood that old pain of wishing certain people were still there to see it. He could imagine his lover was upset that his parents wouldn't be there to represent his side of the family, that they wouldn't have a hand in throwing them into the water to greet La as a bonded pair.
He isn't going to let the camel toss him in, but maybe they could find some way to involve Humpy into the ceremony that won't immediately end in Hakoda losing body parts. Maybe, but not tonight. The chief was too tired to string a coherent plan together.
Just as he had settled into deep restful sleep, it felt like only minutes had gone by when there was pounding on the front door. Hakoda jerked up out of bed startled as all signs of grogginess had escaped him. He searched the room, one hand patted the empty cold space at his side for any signs of Bato. As he scrambled to his feet when the pounding continued with a muffled shout.
"CHIEF HAKODA!" It sounded like Tonuk as he entered the main room of their home. The fire had died down considerably, having burned through all the fuel Bato had placed in it earlier in the night. He hardly had enough time to put some pants on in the process when he rushed to the door and wrenched it open, the cold wind rustling his hair out of his face in a harsh slap as a chill sent shivers racing across his body.
Tonuk was red faced from the cold and panicked with eyes wide.
"What is it?!" He tried to keep a measure of calm as the younger man panted, seeming a bit out of breath as the sun started to dawn over the village chasing away the dark and creeping golden tendrils to cut through the gray hours of morning.
"It's Bato. He's hurt. There was an attack-" Tonuk pointed wildly towards Hama's hut. "Th-the raiders, they were in the stables and so was Bato-"
Hakoda didn't even wait to hear more as he let the door go and twisted to find his boots and coat. He didn't even bother with a shirt as he pulled his parka over his head and shoved his boots on in a hasty grab for good enough. Tonuk was still talking but everything was going in one ear and out the other as his mind raced. Tekkeitsertok had warned them and he didn't do anything about it. Everything had been so chaotic at the time that he forgot to and now Bato was caught up in it all.
He didn't even stop when he stormed out of the house, only recalling to shut the door as an afterthought. On the way to Hama's, he cast a glance towards the stable entrance and saw the blood stained snow where men had gathered at the bulky wooden doors with lanterns to investigate the scene. Tonuk had rushed to catch up and match pace with him, but every word said went over his head as they rushed towards Hama's.
All of his fears and worries bombarded him tirelessly. Could he have prevented this if he had stayed awake and convinced Bato to stay in bed? How long ago did it happen? Was Bato badly wounded and lying alone in the stables all that time until the other men got up to tend to their buffalo yaks? He felt sick to his stomach as the panic and guilt twisted up in his gut. The thunderous beat of his heart wasn't helping his nerves at all as Hama's door came into view. The cold wind was no match as his whole body felt numb all over. Approaching the door, his stomach dropped out like a heavy weight sinking into the frigid sea when his fingers hovered above a bloodstained handle.
Notes:
Enjoy another cliffhanger folks cause the next chapter is most likely going to revisit the Fire Nation.
Also, hope yall remember Tekk's earlier warnings about the raiders moving about. That was foreshadowing for this.
Chapter 53
Summary:
Revisiting the Fire Nation
Notes:
For the first part of the chapter, I suggest listening to this song because it's sort of what I imagined was playing.
https://youtu.be/YUC0XuDz0ig
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The rain had finally cleared up over the last few days as the palace was bathed in the golden rays of early morning as if Agni himself were smiling upon the capital. There was still a cold nip dancing through the air that ghosted through the halls of the palace as Ozai directed his wheelchair along. He was still getting used to how to get around in it without the assistance of another pushing him around. It required frequent breaks as his arms began to tire and his lungs started to ache from the additional activity. The damp air hung heavy, feeling like a wet cloth draped over his mouth and nose with every deep breath he struggled with. A cold chill nestled in at his back as he stuffed the blanket around himself to try and ward it off, hopeful and eager to accomplish the task he had set out to do this quiet uneventful morning.
He had slipped away from the fretful clucking of the doctors and strolled through the familiar halls leading to the wing that ran parallel to the gardens. The sun seemed to chase away the cold when he cut across the golden stretches of light pooling through the windows. Beneath the tree, he could see the silhouette of his brother, dark hair hanging down broad shoulders as he turned his attention towards the stringed instrument he played. A man of many artistic talents in their family, Ozai had always admired the skillful patience that Iroh had devoted to the most mundane tasks. It wasn’t a typical choice for just any royal, but Iroh always managed to bring a certain kind of comfort and serenity to their lives in doing so.
As the familiar notes of the instrument played, he couldn’t help but linger near the window and soak in the soothing sound of a delicately melancholy song. It was familiar in a way that he could softly hum the notes to himself but the words always escaped him in the end. There was no point troubling his mind over recalling them when the melody on its own was more than worth lending an ear to. His fingers smoothed the fabric of the blanket out across his lap in an absent side to side motion as he closed his eyes and let the music wash across his mind.
‘It reminds me of our wedding night.’ He reminisced fondly, blindly tracing his fingertips along the embroidered patterns in the blanket. He could still see it now, as fresh in his memory as if it had been yesterday. Ursa’s scarlet gown cascaded lovingly along her body to emphasize more of her alluring figure. Black accents tied around her waistline and embellished with gold as his fingers traced along her hips and up her bodice in the midst of their dance. Like fire lilies scattering in a strong gale, she moved with the intensity of fire but the fluid grace of a meadow in a calm breeze.
A part of him ached to get up and dance to the music as the bow stirred beautiful notes into the air from the taut strings. Unfortunately, Ozai was well aware that desire could not trump reality, as his legs could barely hold him long enough to situate from the bed to the wheelchair this morning. There was no way he could dance a single step as he was now, and he feared with a cold pain that sliced through his heart, that he may never recover well enough to dance with his beloved Ursa as gracefully and passionately as they once had on their wedding night. He was a shell of the man she once loved, and his wretched heart was crushed beneath the woeful knowledge that her love may shrivel and fade were she to see him now.
His mind wandered as he puzzled over where exactly his wife had gone so early in the morning. It had been strange to wake to an empty bed without her by his side. The sheets felt so much colder without her presence to help warm them, bedraggled hair falling fitfully over the pillows as golden eyes fluttered open like the dainty wings shedding the feathers of sleep from its perch upon her mind. He was wistful for her touch, but whatever ailment had taken him would surely put his beloved at a distance out of caution. The doctors speculated it was not contagious though he wondered if they had deigned to share that revelation with her yet. He was hopeful that they could return to how things once were, sleeping in his own bed instead of the sick room they had moved him to, sipping broths and tonics that made his twisting stomach churn with endless displeasure but at least the vomiting had stopped. That was a small mercy that left him hopeful at the very least.
With the soft lullaby of his brother's music dancing in his ears, Ozai embarked on that last leg of his journey to his intended destination. The wheels squeaked faintly as he rolled towards the end of the hall where the nursery resided. If Ursa was anywhere in the whole palace at this hour, it would be there tending to their little Zuko.
The prince was a little put off when he approached the entrance to the nursery. The hall was just as quiet as he would expect anywhere else in the palace, without a single sound to stir interest. There was no rustling movement, no soft murmurs of his wife quietly talking to Zuko and no bashful giggles or cries of displeasure. Just this ominous silence, stark and frightening to his senses with a deep seated wrongness that twisted his stomach up in panic.
He reached for the handle, cool fingers encircled cooler metal as he forced it open with some effort. It took a couple tries before the door popped open from where it had been jammed shut by disuse and the settling foundations between the shifting seasons. The room was darkened by the drawn curtains keeping the curious rays of morning light from infiltrating the desolate space. It was clean, well kept in the way that the staff often kept the unoccupied guest rooms. The floors were swept and the space aired out weekly to prevent it from becoming stale and uncomfortable for any future use. Despite the cautious care, the walls bore the sun faded mural that had been bleached by time and exposure to the harsh light of their summers. The garden landscape stretched like a transparent phantom around the room, taking what was once a bright and flourishing space filled with laughter, love and pride, and sinking it into a painful pit of want, shame and aching desperation.
It had not been lived in for a very long time.
As Ozai wheeled his way towards the window, breathless in his confusion as he fumbled the window latch between his shaking fingers until he could pry it open. The thin white curtains danced in the freedom that a scant breeze had brought into the barren space. Faintly, Iroh’s music played just beyond as its melancholy song mingled with his brittle memories and pulled at something agonizing that he dared not recall.
With trembling hands he raised his palms to shield his eyes but the memories came, like wisps of smoke at first before they assaulted his mind like billows filling his feeble lungs with every gasping pained breath. He remembered the later months, when their happiness had grown fragile and strained. When hope was left at the foot of shrines and stoked with anguished prayers pleading for a miracle for their child. He remembered how pale and tiny Zuko looked when he failed to eat or keep anything down for long if at all. How tiny he looked with the wispy dark strands of his hair plastered to his scalp, veins bulging against the skin on his thin body as he cried himself until total terrifying silence when neither he or Ursa could ease his discomfort.
He recalled holding his son and feeling so completely helpless when he could not ease his pain. Zuko would cry but all Ozai could offer him was wasted promises that would never see an end, and tearful apologies that his son would never understand. The doctors couldn’t help him, and every time they tried, Ozai would feel sick to his stomach at the sound of his son’s screams until his voice would break and only raspy noises would replace them. His sheets were soaked with his tears, his face was flushed only in his distress but when calmed by the sleepy effects of medication, he resumed this deathly pale stillness that was so terribly unnatural in his child.
They consulted their spiritual healers and yet, all they could offer were prayers and time. Ozai was losing patience in the face of silence, he couldn’t stand to see his son slowly wilting away before his eyes. The boy who had been so strong and healthy just a few months ago, who giggled and gripped his finger tightly in his little pudgy hands and clung to his father’s robes with glee, was just a deteriorating shell now.
He begged the spirits day after day, pleading with them to help his son. Desperate to understand why they were doing this to his boy, what had he done wrong as a man and as a father that they thought this was just? He couldn’t understand, and eventually with time, he lost faith in them when those prayers fell on deaf ears.
Weeks went by, Ursa had grown withdrawn as she sat at Zuko’s bedside day after day. As much as Ozai loved his son, he didn’t want to let this be the way he remembered him. He wanted better for Zuko, he wanted to see him energetic and healthy again. The way he was meant to be. The nights had grown so terribly long as he waited for his wife to return to him, but she didn’t and Ozai found himself lying awake all hours dreading, anticipating, hoping for something to change but fearing that it may be for the worse.
‘What more could possibly be worse than this?’
The answer had come quietly, like a snake coiling around his limbs with a shameful panic.
‘Death.’ But that presented a new perspective as the hours went by and he couldn’t escape the way it made his gut clench with revulsion at just the thought. It wasn’t losing Zuko that had terrified him so, but the thought that it may be a cleaner mercy than this. He had kept those thoughts to himself, guilty and pained by it all. Ashamed and disgusted with himself for thinking that way. For losing hope so quickly. What would Ursa think? She’d be furious was the answer that convinced him to hold those thoughts in silence but as the days passed, they snuck back into his mind every time he glimpsed Zuko’s steadily worsening state and he couldn’t help but agree. This was cruel.
It wasn’t until the Fire Sages and the doctors had come to a shared conclusion a few days later and they spoke the words Ozai had been harboring in his heart for so long. Death would be a mercy. Send the boy to see his ancestors early and pray for his soul. Give him a painless end and free him from this fragile mortal prison that kept him captive in suffering.
He felt relief in knowing his feelings were shared. Encouraged even. That relief was completely shattered when Ursa reared on them with an outraged screech, tears gathered in her fiery eyes as she tore away from Ozai’s comforting hold, balling her fists at her sides as she challenged the very decree of what the professionals thought was best. Ozai had been stunned into silence as he sat there and watched the beautifully stubborn, determined woman he loved turn that exquisite dagger of a tongue on them all. She held close to her hope that Zuko would recover but Ozai felt that he had long since lost his own as he deflated before her with a type of defeat that sank into the very marrow of his bones.
What more was there to try? There were no medicines left to give him, no cure or knowledge on the ailment. He was barely holding on and to force him to cling to this world and suffer was the cruelest fate possible.
So Ozai rose stiffly and stood his ground and supported the choice of letting Zuko pass peacefully. What he hadn’t expected was for Ursa to cut her blade so deeply into his heart.
“That’s it, isn’t it? You just don’t love him!”
It couldn’t have been further from the truth. Ozai loved Zuko too much. He loved him more than life itself and he was the prince’s pride and joy. He was his beloved son. It was because Ozai loved him that he wished to see him at peace. He found no comfort in making his own child suffer through something he didn’t understand. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t see that.
All of these memories flooded over him as Ozai crumpled within the seat of his wheelchair. Hot tears fell, racing down his forearm and coating his palms as he tried to weather the grief that struck him all at once. His little Zuko was gone. He had always been gone and Ursa….. She was gone too, he supposed. She resented him for his choices. For the very thing he did out of love. For the hardest decision he has ever had to make out of love for his son.
He lost it all. His child, his wife, all of it. Perhaps this ailment he faced was his punishment in the end. Maybe he had made the wrong choice, maybe Zuko could have pulled through and come out a bright and happy little boy. It was too late now, and Ozai only had himself to blame.
Iroh was beginning to consider placing a full time caretaker on his brother because every single time they leave him alone for even a moment, he manages to scurry off to some inane corner of the palace and nobody seems to notice. It was bothersome at best and worrisome at worst. In his current condition, it was a danger to his health and his life for him to be wandering about unsupervised as he was. As he rushed briskly through the halls, Iroh rummaged through a long list of possible trusted caretakers the royal family had hired before to care for the children to discern which of them would be most fitting for handling his brother.
As he went, he would inquire to the guards and servants about whether they had seen Ozai anywhere. One of the older servants had mentioned they saw him by the gardens earlier that morning while Prince Lu Ten was out by the tree practicing with his erhu. They had assumed Ozai was there to see the young prince, and hadn’t fussed with it as he wheeled himself along the corridor. Given that Lu Ten was the one that had asked him if he’d seen Ozai at all, Iroh was aware that his brother had never approached his son, which fueled that nagging sense of paranoia that he was somewhere else in the palace, possibly hurt and entirely alone.
Hastily, he made his way through the corridors and searched open doorways and peeked into available rooms on the off chance that he just wandered in and took a break to rest, or had found something to occupy his time. It had been a few days since the doctors had his brother moved to a different room where it was a cleaner, more controlled environment. When medicine didn't appear to be helping, they had changed his diet but found no real results to note. Curiously, they decided to change his environment and Ozai had appeared to improve a little. He was sleeping a little better, had begun to regain an appetite, was a little more aware than he had been in weeks and his vomiting had stopped. They still didn't know what was causing it but any positive change was a relief to Iroh, no matter how small it was.
They didn't know yet how far his recovery may be or whether he could relapse into an even worse state. Without knowledge on the trigger that started it all, they were in the dark for answers and so, after consulting the doctors on the situation, they faced a possible decision should he never fully recover. It was a familiar course that he had once vehemently refused despite the circumstances presented before him. With Lady Ursa's tearful pleas, Ozai's barbed withdrawal and Prince Zuko's uncertain future, he had strove to remain hopeful. After all, children were resilient. Far more than they often gave them credit for, but they were also fragile. It was a delicate balancing act they needed to juggle but Iroh had felt confident that Zuko could overcome his illness and pull through.
What he hadn't taken into consideration was the consequences of that kind of life. He had seen first hand what that choice had wrought for the boy, how he struggled to find his footing in a world that had moved on without him. He not only lost a childhood he would never get back, but he lost the chance at a better future. A future of his choice. It drove him into a world of war and suffering where he faced daily struggle and the same hard choices that no young man should ever have to make. It made him stand witness to things that he never should have. He was a broken boy trying to be a man too fast, and Iroh felt responsible for that.
Zuko was alive but he wasn't living and Iroh was ashamed of his own short-sightedness. Ozai had been right in the end. Iroh saw that now when the chips had already been laid and the final piece had fallen into place. He owed his brother an apology because now he faced the very same hard choice Ozai had to make twenty-four years ago, and Iroh didn't know if he had the strength for it.
If his brother never recovered from this, would it be just to keep him in a state like this? Would it be humane when he couldn't tell the difference between his daughter and his wife on any given day? Would it be right to expect Azula to stand by and watch the father she loved and admired go through this every single day? He didn't expect her to, but what else could they do? It would be cruel to leave him on his own with just a caretaker he didn't know and infrequent visits from a family he couldn't remember. That wasn't a life worth living. It wasn't living at all. Ozai existed in a world before Zuko grew ill. Where his life was happy, where their days were full and lively. Where their country and their household saw an era of peace. It was in a time when Lu Ten was still a little boy and Azula had yet to be born. His own daughter was a total stranger to him.
With a tired sigh, Iroh lifted his head to peer down the hall as he searched for any sign of his brother near the gardens. There was no sign of Ozai but there was an open door that he didn't expect to see as he briskly approached the entrance. Peeking in, he was surprised to find his brother sitting in front of the open window as the afternoon light pooled in over him in a drowsy cradle of warmth. Ozai's chin was tucked against his chest, head cocked slightly askew where he dozed off. There was a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and another tucked firmly over his legs that kept the sickly prince warm in his travels around the palace.
It didn't slip Iroh's notice that this was the old nursery. He wondered, fretfully now, how his brother might be coping with the empty room. How it might be warring with whatever form of reality he had happily entrenched himself within. Hesitantly, he stepped into the room and approached his brother, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder to stir him awake. Sleepily, Ozai opened his eyes in a half daze as he lifted his head to search for the source of what woke him.
"Did you have a good nap, brother?"
The younger prince made an incoherent sound in his throat as he cleared it and scanned the room where the sun was brightly pooling in. "S'warm." Husky still, it rasped past his lips as Ozai shrugged the blanket down enough to snake a hand up to scrub clumsily at his eyes. Iroh smiled down at him as his brother slowly gained his bearings through the haze in his mind before blinking owlishly up at the older prince.
Innocently and with much confusion, Ozai remarked. "Since when did you get so old, brother?"
He didn't let the pain in those words show as Iroh let out a hearty laugh instead and reassured his younger brother with a comforting pat to his shoulder. "I've been asking myself that question for a long time. I suppose becoming a father did it."
Ozai's eyes fell to inspect the hand resting in his lap, no longer covered by the blanket. Iroh couldn't tell what might have been going through his brother's thoughts at that admission but the small affirmative nod he gave himself seemed to declare agreement. "Yes, I guess it did."
Iroh crouched before his brother's wheelchair as he reached up to take the hand that sat limply in his lap. His brother just watched him, tiredly, with just an inkling of curiosity as he cocked his head to plant him directly within his gaze. "Ozai, I just want you to know that I'm so sorry. I understand now. I know why you made the choices you did when it came to Zuko, and I'm sorry for everything it put you all through."
These words didn't feel like enough. They didn't feel genuine enough even as he spoke them with as much sincerity as he could pour into every word. Shuffling back until his shoulders brushed the window frame, Iroh bowed within the patch of sun and humbly prostrated himself in Agni's light at the feet of his brother.
"If you could forgive a foolish old man." The elder prince remained where he knelt, relaxing every limb and muscle with the kiss of the sun warmed floor across his forehead and his palms spread flat against the ground. He measured every breath as he listened, waiting for an answer from his brother. Patient as the leaves beneath a prosperous sun, he bided his time until the wind would blow and send him cascading down to his final rest. He waited for his brother's words, for the judgment of that benevolent wind to decide the sum of his grievances.
"Iroh?" His brother's voice was wispy from his lips. Confused even as he beckoned the older man to lift his head in question. Ozai's brows were furrowed in puzzlement as he extended his trembling hand out to his brother and continued. "I thought we were having tea."
The silence that stretched was the culmination of realization that settled upon the eldest prince. He rose from his bow and accepted his brother's searching hand between his fingers and gave them a gentle squeeze.
"Are we still having tea, Iroh? You said we could have tea and pai sho after I took a nap." The innocent confusion sharpened against the weary angles of Ozai's face as he cocked his head to the side. His hair fell in fits over his shoulders where it had been rustled into a mess by activity. Rising to his feet, Iroh continued to hold his brother's hand despite his own aching joints protesting the action.
"Yes, we are still having tea, Ozai." He gently laid Ozai's hand to rest and tucked the blankets back around his brother to help warm him in the cooler halls. "We can play pai sho after we have lunch."
"It's lunch time already?" The younger prince searched the view of the garden just beyond the windows and smiled softly to himself as Iroh took a moment to close the latch and draw the curtains back in place. "I had a lovely dream brother. You were there, beyond the turtleduck pond playing the most beautiful song I had ever heard."
There was a pause, a moment of hesitance as Ozai frowned to himself and mumbled. "But I don't remember you ever learning to play a stringed instrument before." The brief puzzlement was swiftly dismissed as Ozai continued to gush about the music that Lu Ten had been playing earlier that morning. "I would have loved to hear that song again. I'm certain Ursa would as well. She's always loved the arts you know."
As Iroh took the handles of the wheelchair, he steered his brother out of the room and shut the door behind them. All the while, Ozai regaled him about the type of melody the 'dream version' of Iroh had played and hummed a few faint notes to elaborate. Iroh was very familiar with the song itself and smiled bittersweetly as his brother went on with a similar enthusiasm as Zuko often would for an exciting topic at the end of the day. He spoke of Ursa, how they met and the extraordinary flourish she had for the theatrics, he spoke of music and poetry like a man afflicted with an inexplicable passion and bemoaned his painful lack of confidence to involve himself in such a hobby.
"Ursa makes it look so easy, brother. She takes these feelings and breathes life into them. You should hear some of her work." The wistful sigh that left his brother was agonizing in its honesty. Like a lovestruck youth, Ozai echoed the same man he had once been while courting the theatrical woman. It may have been arranged but there was a spark that caught quick, unfortunately for them all, it burned too hot and the family suffered for it.
Their love had been real once. Ozai had tried, he put in an effort for their relationship and tried to make Ursa happy. It had been a rocky start at first as the flustered young prince stumbled his way through formality. It was only when he showed his true self, just as awkward and uncertain as Zuko often was but with a charisma that charmed easily with its sincerity once he found his footing, did he start to make fast progress between them. There were many late nights of brotherly bonding over tea as Ozai sought advice and adored his beloved without question. Her passion, her wit, her unyielding resilience and her love. It had the younger prince willingly melting into her hands. It was in that passion that Zuko came into the world, and in the aftermath, how they fell apart.
What should have united them had broken all they had beyond any form of repair. It fueled resentment, it fueled shame, and most of all, it fueled anger. Iroh knew his hands were partially to blame for interfering in the midst of it. He had taken a side against his brother instead of supporting him, and created an irreparable ravine that permanently divided their family. He could have done more, he should have done things differently and maybe they could have overcome it in the end together. Whatever bitter feelings could have been resolved with time but instead it rotted like a festering wound and now this was what they were left with.
Notes:
I headcanon the idea that Lu Ten plays stringed instruments while Iroh plays the sungi horn, and one of my favorite to headcanon and have mentioned in previous fics already is the Erhu.
Chapter 54
Summary:
Bato isn't having a fun time.
Notes:
Time for Bato's pov.
Sorry for the late and short update. Life got a little hectic lately. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter Text
Bato should have known just how this week was going to go. When it rains, it pours and right now, La was ensuring they were struck with a hurricane of trouble. He understood Hakoda’s despair a little better these last few weeks. It had become a habit for him to spend an hour or two in the stables tending to Humpy in the middle of the night until he had wound down enough to find restful sleep before the sun rose. On the rare occasion, he would give up on any attempt at sleep whatsoever and stay up through the rising dawn and focus on going through the usual motions of stable work. It was the norm for quite a while after their return from the warring months until they departed back out to sea to carry on with it once more.
It seemed fitting that just when they were beginning to let their guard down, with the approaching prospect of peace, that trouble would rear its head upon their very own shores by their very own men once more. He should have known something was wrong when he entered the stable and found most of the yaks awake and stirring in their stalls with hints of anxiety and distress. Humpy had been the noisiest of the collection as he bumped his legs against the entrance of his stall and dipped his head in a show of frustration. The dusty floor in front of his stall was splattered with projectile fluids he ejected from his stomach in a fit of agitation.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Bato had called to the camel in his native tongue, reaching one cautious hand out to Humpy to calm and soothe his irritation. “What’s wrong?” Humpy swung his head away from Bato’s reach and turned a disapproving glare at the yak stall beside him and shuffled about, knocking into the door once more with urgency.
He suspected he was just restless or spooked by a snow rat or something that scurried into the piles of straw seeking shelter from the cold night. Sliding the latch free of the frame, Humpy lowered his head and slammed it into Bato’s chest, knocking him back just as a shadow leapt from behind the straw heap in the corner. A war club swung in his direction and collided with the back of his shoulder as he twisted away from the attacker. There was pain as the heavy thump of the blunt end connected, knocking the air right out of his chest as he lost his balance from the firm shove. He hit the ground and recovered quickly, slightly stunned by the activity around him as he watched a short slender man bundled in thick hides with a vaguely familiar design drop his war club as Humpy latched onto him by the shoulder and dragged him backwards towards his stall.
The young man struggled in the camel’s grasp as Humpy lifted him clean off the ground by his shoulder and began swinging him around like a ragdoll. Humpy stomped out of the stall, causing the man to hit the wooden frame and posts with his legs as they flailed and kicked in a struggle to get free. There was a bit of screaming and shouts that might have been a name called out but Bato’s own head was still reeling from everything going on as he shoved himself onto his knees with a grimace. The man's gloved hand tried to reach up and force the camel to release him but it was futile as Humpy slammed him into a nearby post before tossing him aside like an abandoned toy. The man hit the wall near Kela’s yak and crumpled onto the ground with a muffled groan.
At the stall beside him where Tonuk’s yak, Brambleberry, resided, a second man in a raiders' garments with a strangely painted face similar to the smaller man rushed out into the open walkway of the barn while urging the reluctant buffalo yak to follow behind him. Humpy didn’t appreciate the man’s attempts to flee as he charged at the stranger with an aggressive bellow. His hooves stomped the ground in a brief and pitiful warning before his head rammed the man into the next post. The man let out an agonized scream that startled Humpy just enough for him to duck away from the camel and hide behind Brambleberry for safety. There was a bloody smear that stretched across the wood panel before the man clambered on top of the yak and ushered it towards the entrance of the barn.
Bato tried to get to his feet and give chase, but Humpy was making it really hard to get at the man when he kept blocking his human’s way. With a quick search around, Bato found the fallen war club that the smaller thief had struck him with and took it firmly in his right hand. Humpy shifted his weight to the side just enough to give Bato an opening as he threw the club at the second assailant just as he reached the threshold. The bludgeon end struck him firmly in the back effectively knocking the man off of Brambleberry's back. He slipped into the snow outside the doors and hit the ground with a heavy thud. As Bato stepped towards the entrance, Humpy cut him off a second time as he started to charge.
Cursing under his breath, Bato watched as the man scrambled back to his feet to grip the doors in both hands. Humpy surged forward with a snort just as the large heavy doors slammed in his face. The camel rammed them but they didn’t so much as budge an inch. Limping towards the entrance where Humpy stirred the dusty floor up into a tizzy, Bato gave the entrance a firm shove and peeked between the sliver of a gap to see the shadow of the storm locks barring the entrance. He could faintly hear the rider's muffled cursing before he rode off with Brambleberry.
“Shit!” The tribesman hissed while grimacing as he cradled his left arm against his chest. Humpy paced anxiously back and forth until Bato could catch his attention and lead him back to his own stall. He was reluctant to rest and calm down, snorting and huffing in the tribesman’s direction with a gross displeasure the likes that Bato had never seen before from his dearest life long companion.
With the camel tucked away and the other yaks beginning to calm down little by little, he turned his attention towards the stranger currently locked in the stable with him. He had blood coating one half of his face where there appeared to be a deep gash above his brow. The white and black imagery was similar to their wolf war paint, only this looked more like the skull of a bird upon closer inspection. The man had been unconscious for a few minutes before he started to stir and stared up at Bato with confusion using the one eye that wasn’t currently soaked in blood. He had several other cuts on his face where he had collided with more than a few hard surfaces including a split lip that was already swelling up considerably.
“Can you hear me?” The older tribesman asked in their native tongue as he inspected the younger man. There was a hesitant moment as the man stared at him before he gave a small brief nod that ended with a pained whimper. Given how shredded and damaged the hides were where Humpy bit the man, he wouldn’t be surprised if there were a few broken bones beneath all that.
“Alright.” Bato could work with this. “Don’t move, okay? I’m going to try to help with some of this bleeding.” It took a little bit of effort for him to remove his own coat to reach the clean long sleeve of his shirt. Trying to tear the fabric with one hand wasn’t working well so he searched their surroundings and noticed the small bone handle of a utility knife sticking out of a leather sheath on his belt.
“I’m borrowing this for a minute.” He slipped it free from the man’s belt as he blinked, still considerably dazed, back at Bato with a small furrow of his brow in puzzlement. There was a brief flash of fear in the man’s gray eyes as Bato used the knife to slice through the material of his sleeve and pulled it away to rest in his lap. He had to slice the fabric down the middle, biting one end with his teeth to pull it taut against the blade before he had a long enough strip to try wrapping around that gash. It was another struggle to get the fabric in place and to stay firmly folded where he wanted it.
“Let me see this hand.” He took the man’s right hand and lifted it. It was the hand that seemed the most twitchy compared to the other, which Bato took as a decent hint that it was the most mobile between the two. Situating the man’s fingers gently over his wound to pin the fabric in place, he directed. “Hold it right there.”
It hurt like a son of a bitch to lean over the man, letting his injured arm bump a little in the process against his opponent’s shoulder, he angled himself to bite one end of the fabric and used his good hand to tie the other end together to secure it around the stranger’s head.
He was a bit red faced and breathless by the time he sat back up and sagged his back against the post leading to Kela’s yak, Thyme. She nudged Bato’s head affectionately where she could poke her snout over the side of the stall door and rustle the crown of his hair.
“It’s okay, girl.” He soothed, lifting his good hand up to stroke her muzzle. "It's okay." Bato hoped all this excitement and stress didn't put the poor girl into early labor. That would be bad for all of them.
Once he gathered his strength and had his wits about him, he studied his unexpected companion with a sigh. Aside from the bleeding, Bato worried about the man getting too cold or falling asleep with his head injury like it was. Reaching over to give his boot a nudge, the tribesman spoke clearly and carefully.
"Whatever you do, don't go to sleep, okay?" The stranger blinked owlishly at him as Bato shifted his weight to lay his coat over the stranger to try and keep him a bit warmer in the meantime. He didn't have to worry too much about the cold as he shoved himself up to his feet and made his way towards the entrance. With his injured arm cradled against his chest, he ground his teeth through the pain that throbbed in his shoulder as he slammed his right fist against the wood. The heavy thump was loud enough for Bato's satisfaction without needing to raise his voice and freak the yaks out more. They were accustomed to loud banging and hammering noises from being around the village during the repair months, some often utilized as working mounts.
He slammed his fist against the wood in sets and intervals, offering a couple minutes break in between for his aching hand and his sanity. It shouldn't be much longer before the early risers come to tend to their own animals at the gray hours before dawn. He just hoped it was soon.
It felt like nearly an hour had passed as Bato paced the barn. He would nudge the stranger with his foot to ensure he was still awake then make his way all the way back to the doors. He'd pound his fist three or four times, then pace back to the end of the barn to check on the man. It was monotonous as much as it was mind numbingly tiring but it gave him a pattern to follow so he didn't slip up on it. It also gave the yaks and Humpy a predictable pattern to ignore that didn't freak them out anymore than they already were.
His feet ached with the shuffling back and forth pattern with no break in between to rest. His right arm was growing tense and just as tired and the painful throbbing of his left shoulder had become a burning fire that echoed throughout the upper half of his chest. It was dull and constant as his back protested everything else on top of it. The fact he was trying his damndest to not start shivering wasn't helping those stiff muscles any either as he slammed his palm against the wood. He couldn't feel his hands as they grew numb from the cold and the pain.
They were going to hurt like no tomorrow when they finally thawed. That is, if he didn't lose a finger or two before they got out of here. Bato leaned against the hard wood of the entrance as he rested his brow against the rough grain and let out an exhausted exhale. Closing his eyes for just a minute, he let out a weary sigh and straightened up, prepared to slam against the frame once more when he heard the muffled steps of boots on the hard snow.
"What in the-" It sounded like it might be Kela as he hissed a curse a little ways from the barn.
"Kela!" Bato hollered, banging his fist firmly against the wood as his heart leapt with excited relief.
"Bato? Shit! Look at all that blood." There was someone else with him, Tonuk maybe?
"Are you alright?" Yeah, it was Tonuk as they wrestled the storm lock free of the latch and slid the entrance open. The blast of cold air to the face was jarring and certainly chased away whatever weariness had been making his head hang a little for the moment.
He grinned back at the two men with a rush of relief as he sagged and felt his knees start to give with exhaustion.
"Bato!" Tonuk swooped forward to catch the warrior, dragging a groan from the older man when his shoulder was jarred.
"Help him." The older tribesman urged as he pointed with his good arm back at his oddly quiet companion. "Make sure he's still awake."
The pair gave each other odd looks but Bato didn't really care at the moment. He needed a minute to sit and catch his breath.
The sun wasn't even up yet and Zuko still found himself awake at the crack of dawn. He had dragged himself out of the warmth of the covers to feed the fire where it died down to softly glowing embers in the hearth. Sokka had slept better than he had been these last few weeks. The soldier suspected that he had hit a point where he was just exhausted enough that after their meal the night before, he had fallen into a dead sleep and didn’t move the rest of the night. Zuko on the other hand, had been far more restless as he woke sporadically every few hours to check on Sokka and the fire. The hut was chilly when his socked feet touched the floor and the darkness was almost too thick for him to find his way to the hearth without cracking his foot or ramming his knee into one of the dozens of unfamiliar obstacles in this place.
He was still getting accustomed to the hut itself. Zuko wasn’t sure how much longer they’d be in this place, but he was hopeful it wouldn’t be too long with the rate that Sokka was improving.
A slight shiver still danced through his body even as he warmed himself by the crackling fire as the wood renewed the flames to a comfortable roar to thaw his slightly chilled fingers.
‘I should probably start on breakfast.’ Zuko thought to himself as he set a pot of water on the coals to boil for cleaning with again. A second pan was set to rest on the cooler portion of the fire while he slowly warmed up the leftovers from the night before. Using a fire poker, he nudged the wood around to stoke the flames and adjust the position of the hot coals. The metal scraped against the stone foundations causing the soldier to wince at the jarring noise in his good ear. It was accompanied by the faint sound of someone screaming just beyond the door. He straightened up at the muffled sound and made his way towards the entrance to peek out when another scream followed shortly after.
It was too dark to make out as several tribesmen had gathered and were rushing about between the stables and made their way towards Hama’s hut. There were clusters of people that speckled the snow trodden paths in the dim light of dawn. Lanterns swept the entrance of the stable where most of them had gathered just as the flecks of gold from a rising sun crested the horizon.
As much as Zuko wanted to snoop about what had happened, they were still in isolation due to Sokka’s illness. Hama had this covered, and if things got too hectic, she had Katara and Kanna to help her.
“I wonder if someone got kicked by one of the yaks.” It wouldn’t be the first time someone was attacked by a spooked animal in the early hours of morning. From what Zuko had seen, the buffalo yaks could occasionally be as testy as Humpy given the right circumstances. Especially with more than a couple of the females pregnant right now. They were sure to get even more temperamental as their due day inched closer.
He closed the door and ensured it was firmly shut to keep the cold air from stealing away the hard won heat he had been coaxing into the room for several minutes now. Glancing at the bed, Sokka was still sound asleep where he softly snored against the pillows with his face half scrunched into them. The blankets were tucked up around his torso where Zuko had corrected them when he climbed out, with his hair scattered about his face across the pillowcasing where it was left free of any ribbons. His coloring looked better which was a relief for Zuko as he inspected his dozing platypus bear. He looked a bit less strung out, which the soldier took as a good sign that Sokka's pain had lessened some. He could hope at least.
After a minute or so, he turned his attention to the hot coals as he stirred the food within the pan to make sure it didn't burn. When the water began to boil in the other pan, Zuko prepared the chips of pine sap to mix into it and poured it into a basin to use for cleaning. As quietly as he could muster, he took a wet rag in hand and began his work. Only stopping every few minutes to check on their breakfast as he went.
“Bato, how are you doing?” Hama’s voice cracked with the dryness of having just woken up from a deep slumber. Her long white hair hung down her shoulders without a tie to draw it back as she hastily prepared herself to receive the wounded of this morning’s ordeal. Her gray eyes settled on him with a studious tilt to her head as she addressed him in the lantern light.
“Good enough to wait. Our guest could use your attention more.” The tribesman nodded in the direction of the injured man who was squirming in the cot beside him. His legs kicked absently at the frame as whimpers and grunts of pain left him. He sounded like he already screamed his voice raw in the time it took for the other warriors to help him from the stable to the healer’s hut. “He fell unconscious for a few minutes earlier, but I’ve been trying to keep him awake since.”
“You staunched the bleeding?” She inquired with a small nod towards the stained cloth tied around his brow.
“Yeah. Tried to anyway.” Bato grimaced as he adjusted how he was propped up by leaning most of his weight against the right side of his body in a half twist for comfort.
“Alright.” There were a couple men who lingered briefly as they offered any assistance they could to speed up Hama’s work. She was quick to send them fetching water and rotating boiling pans on the hearth. Kela stooped over the coals as he stirred them back to life to get the fire roaring. It caught quickly to the man’s relief. Tonuk had raced back out of the hut into the cold morning, presumably to fetch Hakoda.
‘This is a right awful mess to wake up to.’ He thought tiredly as he adjusted to get a little more comfortable. As tired as he felt, he couldn’t let himself sleep until he was certain the other man was taken care of. The twinge of pain in his shoulder helped in his efforts to chase the sneaking tendrils of sleep from his mind and smacked him wide awake in no time at all. There was a strained cry from the stranger that….
‘Wait, is he a kid?’
It sounded too young to be the pained cries of a grown warrior. Cocking his head, he spied the painted grimace lit by the bedside lantern that Hama had set up to work by. Kela rushed a basin of warm water to her with fresh clean cloths as the younger tribesman aided her in her work to scrub all the paint from the man’s face. With each cautious swipe, it was becoming clearer that this was a young man. Even younger than Bato had previously assumed. Possibly around Inuk or Katla’s ages if he had to give a rough guess. The youth still had his rounded baby face about him without any of the scruff of manhood to refine it.
The boy was panting heavily as he squirmed beneath Hama’s careful inspection making it a little tough for her to tend to his wounds when he wouldn’t calm down. Kela was trying not to touch any part of the youth that he couldn’t actively see the full brunt of. Once his face was cleaned up and Hama could replace the makeshift bandage over his eye with a better one to hold the injury over for the time being, she turned to the shredded hides.
“What in La’s name happened to him?” Kela had blurted when he thumbed the torn material. “Was he mauled by a polar leopard?”
“No, Humpy did it.” Bato answered bluntly. “He was protecting me from the kid.”
“What?” Kela stilled at that knowledge. The horrified expression on his face was quickly shaken off as Hama directed the younger tribesman to help her remove the youth’s clothes so she could better examine his wounds.
That led to quite the ruckus as the youth struggled as they tried to sit the boy up to remove the hides. Every touch must have been agonizing as they tugged on the material and cut off what they could manage to make it a little easier on him. Kela attempted to catch the boy’s good arm but only managed to take a half open palm to the jaw for his efforts. Bato snorted in amusement as he straightened up on his own cot, halfway between the urge to help and knowing he had one good arm to offer and it wouldn’t do much but be a bother in the process, so he reluctantly settled back into the cot and resigned himself to watch. A cold chill danced across his shoulders where his back was turned to the door. He shivered as the steadily building heat was chased off for a moment by whatever warrior had entered to deliver more fresh water.
“Bato?” Hakoda’s voice croaked hesitantly at his back. He twisted slowly to spy his lover standing near the entrance with Tonuk at his back looking a bit breathless from all the running around he was doing this morning.
“Koda.” Bato greeted back. The scream of the youth cut through the air and jarred Hakoda out of his frozen stupor as he stood before the cot as if his boots were frozen to the spot. He moved quickly as he lunged towards the open spot beside Bato and dropped down to sit as his hands extended hesitantly towards his lover and long time friend like he wasn’t sure where to touch. His eyes quickly soaked in the absent cradle of Bato’s arm and the blood on his clothes from the youth. Quietly he reassured him. “I’m alright. This isn’t my blood.”
There was that frown that Bato expected as Hakoda gave his shoulder a pointed look. The words he wanted to say were glued to his tongue as he was trapped in this middle ground of wanting to speak up and not knowing what to say.
“Don’t worry. We both know I’ve had worse.” He nudged the Chief with his good shoulder to try and stir him out of his silent despair and ease up the mood some.
“What happened?” His lover finally blurted once he found his voice. He relaxed a fraction beneath the slight teasing tone in Bato’s voice, which pleased him to see as he turned his attention to his young friend. Hama and Kela had to practically wrestle the hides off of the boy to reveal the massive purpling stretch of skin from the base of his neck across his left shoulder and down his ribcage. There were half a dozen or so other bruises that speckled his torso in various degrees of severity, along with minor scrapes and cuts along his face, neck, arms and back. Some were older than this night, but most of those were incredibly minor. It was a little hard to make out with the limited light and the two people shuffling back and forth obscuring his view, but Bato could make out a deformity where the boy’s collarbone would be. There was a noticeable lump that formed where the bones should have come together smoothly. A ridge had shifted between them that caused the boy immense pain whenever his torso was jostled too much.
“There were two of them.” Bato sighed, gesturing with his good hand towards the youth. “They were hiding when I entered the stable. For whatever reason, he attacked me and Humpy intervened.”
“Where did all the blood come from?” Hakoda asked softly as he inspected the boy. They both knew that, despite the bandages on the lad's face, he wouldn’t be the source of all of that.
“The second man.” He answered easily. “I think Humpy slammed him into one of the wall hooks. He ran off with Brambleberry but not before I knocked him off the yak with a war club. He put the storm locks on the doors before he fled.”
“Where did you get the war club?” Hakoda puzzled before his eyes darted towards the youth.
“It was the kid’s, yeah.” There was a tired sigh that escaped him once more as he leaned his good shoulder against his lover. Hakoda looped an arm around his back, cautiously picking where to rest his hand before he decided to let it settle across Bato’s lower back to his hip.
The Chief shivered as he studied Bato. “You’re freezing.”
Bato gave a small hum of agreement. “A little.”
“A lot.” Hakoda corrected as he got up from the cot to find a spare blanket. He didn’t even bother to wait for Hama’s permission as he collected one from the clean pile in the cabinets and brought it back for his lover. “Here, warm up a little.”
Bato shifted his weight to welcome the blanket as it was drawn up around his body. It was a welcome relief for his stiff and achy body as it came down from the buzz of adrenaline that had kept him on his feet for so long. At this rate, it wouldn't take long at all for him to crash as every part of him started to unwind and give into the offered rest. Hakoda's chin settled on his good shoulder as he took the time to tuck the edges of the blanket around him to cover both arms then folded together in his lap where the material bunched up at the edges. One cautious hand smoothed up and down his good arm in strokes of comfort and that solid silent reminder that his lover was there for him now. It was achingly apologetic as Hakoda tried to squash down whatever panic had seized him into a state of wordless fright when he first entered the hut.
Leaning towards his lover, Bato nuzzled his nose against Hakoda's in a quiet acceptance as he returned that reassuring gesture. He was here, and he was safe and Hakoda didn't need to be afraid anymore. It would take a lot more than a lucky shot by a whelp to take him down.
Hakoda shivered at the touch of cold skin against his, dragging a soft ragged laugh from Bato as their fingers wove together in his lap.
“I can think of a few ways we could warm up faster.” Bato grunted with a curl of a smile playing on his lips. Hakoda shot him a tired smile as the relief filled his worried gaze and chased off the worst of the woes that may have haunted him upon hearing the news. There was enough shit going wrong lately, Bato didn’t want to be another stressful concern for his betrothed to add on top of it all.
Whatever words were about to leave Hakoda’s lips were interrupted by the curt throat clear from Hama as she settled a hand on her hips and eyed Bato critically. “Do I need to remind you two-”
“Oh no.” Bato groaned.
Hakoda stiffened as the inevitable words left the old healer’s throat. “Save some room for Tui and La.”
“You’ve been spending too much time with my mother.” The Chief shook his head as he shifted away from Bato enough for Hama to finally tend to his shoulder. The boy looked to be doing a little better now that his shoulder was positioned more comfortably and wrapped in a sling. Kela had been replaced by one of Pana’s daughters who had taken up nursing a warm medicinal broth into the boy to warm him up and ease his pain.
“Where did Kela run off to?” Bato asked as he started to shrug the fabric up over his head with a bit of effort and a twisted grimace on his face when the muscle twinged painfully. Hama helped him ease it off so she could examine him better in the lantern light.
“Kodiak is leading a group of the men to retrieve the missing yak. Tonuk and Kela went with him.” Hama explained softly. “Alik sent the dogs with them to help.”
Bato could understand that at least. The sun was up which relieved some of the potential danger from the situation, but they still didn’t know exactly what was going on or why the men attacked like they did. “Perhaps they can propose a trade.” He grunted as Hama probed around the massive bruising that stretched across his tender shoulder. There was a bit of readjusting to be done as she directed Bato to lay down.
Hakoda leaned over his lover to hold his good shoulder still as Hama rotated his arm and felt around the swollen area. The skin was hot under her cooler fingers where the worst of the bruising was focused. Sucking in a sharp breath, Bato squeezed his eyes shut and braced himself for the pain as she guided the joint back in place. It didn’t silence the yelp that left his chest or stop the little jolt of his body as he writhed. The worst of the pain started to subside a little to a dull ache as she guided his arm to rest comfortably against his torso. Hama was quick to start situating an arm sling with a stretch of linen to keep it immobilized. It didn’t slip Bato’s eye that he and the kid were matching in their injuries now.
“Someone is going to be missing him somewhere.” He murmured as he sat up in the cot and let his lover drape the blanket back around his shoulders to warm him. There was just enough room for them to squeeze together and get comfortable enough to help warm up a little faster. Hama stepped aside long enough for them to have a moment to themselves while she prepared a bowl of the same medicinal broth Pana’s girl gave the kid, for Bato.
“You going to be alright?” Bato asked, turning his head just enough to spot his lover at his side.
Hakoda snorted at the question as he shook his head. "I should be the one asking you that."
The younger man smirked. "I know you, Koda. This little hiccup is nothing. Don't worry about it."
"That hiccup doesn't look so little, Bato." Hakoda reminded sternly. "It could have been so much worse if Humpy weren't there to protect you."
"I told you he would save a life someday." Bato grinned.
Hakoda grimaced. "And I told you he'd take one some day."
"The kid is still alive, right Hama?"
"He'll live." She called quietly back towards the cot. "He's just a bit shaken from his fright."
"Hm." Koda hummed in agreement. "I know the feeling. I too have been traumatized by that demon."
"Humpy is a good innocent boy." Bato grumbled as he gave Hakoda's hip a firm pat. "He's doing a good job of protecting the village."
There was a dry laugh that rasped out of Hakoda's throat as he shook his head in dismissal. "What do we do about the kid now?"
Hama approached the cot and urged Bato to sit up enough to drink the medicinal broth. His lover helped him rise off the pillows now that he was down an arm and trying to leverage his sore body was a little tough to do when they were both cramped together in a tight space. He held the bowl with his good hand and breathed in the bitterly scented steam that wafted over the rim of the bowl.
"How long do you think it'll take him to recover from his injuries?" He inquired, turning a scrutinizing eye on the youth and then to Hama as he waited for his answer.
"With an injury like that? A couple months." Hama answered with a thoughtful stroke of her jaw. "He should take it easy for a month at least otherwise it could upset the injury and increase the risk of it being improperly healed."
Bato nodded his approval at that assessment. Hakoda stared at him as he sipped at the hot broth, brows furrowed with confusion before something apparently clicked.
"What are you planning, Bato?" There was a hint of dreaded anticipation as if the older Chief was waiting for the inevitable to be declared. He felt like taking his sweet time before confirming his thoughts as he drained the bowl of bitter medicine. When he handed it back to Hama, Bato studied the resting youth where he appeared to have fallen asleep now that his wounds were tended to and the worst of the pain had subsided. Pana's daughter had laid another blanket over the boy to warm him between stoking the fire and feeding more wood onto it to bring the room to a comfortable heat for all of them.
"I'm claiming him as my war prize." He declared easily, earning a raised incredulous brow from Hama and a withering sigh from his lover as he deflated at Bato's side.
"Why?"
"By the time Spring officially rolls in, his wounds should be healed enough that it'll be safe for him to leave." He answered easily. "In the meantime, we can figure a few old problems out. We've been talking about how to deal with the raiders for years, but nobody has come to any solution for it."
"Because we lacked the information necessary for making an educated decision." Hakoda reminded him. Bato nodded then gestured with his good hand at the boy.
"What better source to draw from than one of their own?"
Chapter 55
Summary:
The search for the missing Yak continues.
Zukka shenanigans follow.
Notes:
So this chapter is much shorter than even a normal FN chapter, but I've been stuck on a bit of writers block for a few months for this, plus I've been wanting to focus more on other fic projects. I started a new job as well, and I've been far too tired at the end of the night go do any writing but with the new shift schedules, it opened up more opportunity. The next big chunk of the story is going to require a lot of careful work as we get into the thick of the exiles and the yak thieves so I wanted to give you guys something so you know I haven't abandoned or forgotten about the story, before it takes me even longer to work on this whole part.
I'm really sorry for the wait but I hope you enjoy.
Chapter Text
It felt like if it wasn’t one thing in this village, it was another and honestly, Kodiak was beginning to feel himself growing tired of all the chaos and excitement. He was getting too old for this. He got enough surprises on a daily basis with Lukka. He didn’t need to add more on the pile. Before long, he was going to end up looking as gray as his father was. He couldn’t imagine how Chief Hakoda felt in all of this. First Sokka was afflicted with illness and now Bato was attacked by the raiders. The poor man certainly had Kodiak’s sympathy. It felt as if the spirits were testing him a great deal these last few years, and Kodiak feared that Hakoda would soon break beneath their strain before long. There was only so much a single man can go through like that.
The dogs were quick to trail ahead as they bounded through the snow with their noses close to the ground as they followed the scent of the yaks and the stranger that left his club behind. With the reins firmly in hand and blood spotting the snow drifts, it wasn’t hard to keep up with the assailants responsible. If anything, it felt too sloppy and easy for Kodiak as he forced their group to slow down and study the terrain more carefully. The last thing he wanted was for them to walk into an ambush.
As the land was bathed in the early morning light as it broke like gold through the clouded sky above, the snow shimmered in their path as the trails of their culprits were seemingly put into focus. He pulled the dogs back when their howls and barks lured their eyes from the open valley to track the movement of the polar pups as they darted for the forested outcroppings along the edges. At first, Kodiak feared the polar leopards were still on the prowl, but when the dogs rustled a very human shaped figure out of the brush, he called them back and whistled to bring their yaks to a startling halt. The man was adorned in the same hides and dark ragtag garments they’d come to recognize with the exiles. He was armed, with the curved carved bone handles of his weapons peeking above each shoulder on his back but his hands were fixed at his sides. Gloved palms out to show he meant no ill will towards the group but alert as his blue gaze darted towards the energetic dogs and their threatening growls.
Kodiak gripped the reins of his yak tightly in hand as he studied the stranger closely. His face was painted like all the others they’ve encountered but it was unlike any tribal markings he was familiar with. “Are you with the group that stole one of our buffalo yaks?”
The man held still as stone as he gave a small nod of confirmation. “I wish to make a trade for my son’s body.” His eyes followed each of them as he inspected their group. The yaks shifted anxiously as Kodiak called the dogs back to his side where they stood near Tonuk’s borrowed yak. They were tense in the presence of the stranger.
Kela interjected. “Body? Last I saw the boy, he was still alive, just a bit banged up is all.”
“You’re sure of that?” The stranger was tightly wound as he demanded more from them. Kodiak could sympathize with a worried father and didn’t hold the terse tone against him. From the sounds of it, neither did Kela as he remained calm and reassuring.
“I helped our healer tend to him myself.” The younger man gestured back towards the village as he explained. “He took a knock to the head and has a broken bone, but some proper rest and time to heal and he’ll live. Hama was sure of it.”
The stranger tried to hide it well, remaining firm in his impassive expression, but Kodiak could see it in the way his shoulders gave just a fraction in relief and his hands relaxed by his sides, barely maintaining their flared position.
“I presume you’ll want something for his safe return.” It was tired and unsettled, the way he spoke as if he expected the terms to already be his defeat. “I have nothing to give.”
Tonuk scoffed. “You have our yak.”
“The others do, yes.” He agreed. “But what they do is out of my hands. I just want my son back.”
Kodiak nodded solemnly. “You’ll need to speak with Chief Hakoda then.” As he turned towards the other two, Kela volunteered.
“I can lead him back to Hakoda, Kodiak. You two go get Brambleberry.”
“You sure?” Tonuk sounded hesitant at the idea.
“I can handle it.” Kela assured them before shooting the stranger a look and raised his voice pointedly. “I trust you won’t start any trouble.”
“You have my word.” The man promised. To which Kela smirked.
“Good enough for me.”
Tonuk rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You’re too trusting, I swear to La. It’s going to get you killed one of these days.”
“Then you’ll just have to avenge me.” The younger man quipped as he started to turn his yak around to head the direction they had already come. The path was clearly cut through the snow as Kela held a hand out in offering to the stranger. “Come on then uh….what is your name again?”
“Ujaraq.” The man waved the invitation away. “I can walk.”
Kela frowned briefly then shrugged. “Suit yourself.”
To which Tonuk scoffed. “At least somebody has sense enough to be suspicious around here.”
“Tonuk.” Kodiak sighed as Kela squawked indignantly.
Sokka was still tired but his hunger outweighed his desire for sleep as he was roused awake by a rumbling stomach and the aroma of hot food cooking on the fire. He poked his head above the blankets to spy his friendly little ferret working a wet cloth against the counter tops in between checking on the pot that stewed over the hot coals. His icy blue eyes blinked away any sleep addled blurriness to track the silhouette in the dimly lit room and let a small amused smile crack his lips apart. It was this simple sense of domesticity that made Sokka feel so content, to which he was well aware of how much he would miss it once they were freed from the miserable quarantine conditions.
'If only this could be ours forever.' Sokka sighed at the thought. If Zuko never had to leave, if he could choose to stay with Sokka indefinitely, then he could wake up to every day with his fiery little ferret at his side. A warm body to fill his bed, a soft smile to warm his heart, and good food to share between them.
His heart mourned the short time they inevitably had together like this, as he studied the laid back posture and quiet concentration on the task at hand. The slight set to his ferret's jaw that made his hands itch to cup it and draw those lips into a kiss. To soothe the firm line they were set in as Zuko was lost in thought and steal every stressful worry away from his head until nothing remained. To pull the man close and let him go weak against his chest until he had his fiery little ferret tucked against him, to brush his fingers through Zuko's hair as the man melted into his embrace. He wanted to do much more than that, but Sokka was content with the little pleasures they could get away with and justify with time.
Unfortunately, he couldn't really do most of that as he was now. It was something he would have to wait for, and wait for it he eagerly did. He comforted himself with the knowledge that he could still watch his beloved little ferret go about the day and admire him from afar. Then, when the work was done, they could resume the cuddling they had taken to doing at every opportunity. It was the one perk of quarantine. There was nobody to remind them to save room for Tui and La.
As he rolled his eyes at the thought, he heard the soft shuffle of steps as Zuko straightened up from his task and scrubbed the back of his hand over his forehead with a contented sigh. Admiring his work, his good eye found its way to wander towards where Sokka laid. The tribesman stretched his legs and felt the give in his ankles and toes as they popped. He made a little show as if just waking up and smiled warmly at his ferret. The sweet little smile he got in return was blissful to his weary eyes.
"Good morning sleepy head." Zuko greeted as he soaked the rag back into the bucket he was cleaning with and left it for the time being where it sat near the fire. "Are you hungry?"
"I could eat." Sokka grinned as he dragged himself up a little and stuffed the pillows behind his back to help support his back more. He could smell the meal that was slowly simmering on the warm coals and recalled the large pot Zuko made with the winter vegetables and smoked hen the night prior. He didn't mind a repeat of the meal and was quite pleased to know there was more to go around. As Zuko stirred the pot to get all the good bits at the bottom mixed up, he scooped a steaming helping out into both bowls and carried it over to the bed with a chunk of bread balancing on the rim of each. Sokka gratefully accepted his as he caressed his palms around the warm pottery and let it heat his cold fingers until there was a bit more life back in them. Each steaming lungful that filled his nostrils was heavenly to the tribesman as his appetite returned and his empty stomach made that loudly known.
The first bite was blissful as Sokka relished in the little joys of home cooking that he had missed so often while at war. As much as he enjoyed traveling the world with his tribe, nothing beat a home cooked meal with familiar ingredients and how they brought with them so much nostalgia it could almost bring tears to his eyes. There was something about how Zuko cooked that gave it just enough flavor to feel like home, and yet still taste different enough for Sokka to feel like he was enjoying an entirely new experience. It was just off enough in all the right ways to become something unique to his fiery little ferret.
Which meant it was perfection for Sokka's taste buds.
"How are you feeling?" Speaking of ferrets, Zuko had settled into the open spot at Sokka's side as the work weary soldier enjoyed his own helping of stew. Sokka pushed the tender chunks of shredded hen around with his spoon as the steam dissipated slowly between bites and hummed his approval.
"A little bit restless to be honest." Sokka sighed as he adjusted his grip on his bowl and shifted his body so he was lying partially on his side facing his ferret. "I think it's mostly passed. My stomach is…..feeling less aggressive."
The soldier nodded in understanding as he smiled around a bite of food. "That's good." He grunted after swallowing a steaming mouthful quickly. "I'm not going to risk it by giving you too many solids so I hope you don't mind stew for a couple more days."
The tribesman smirked. "As long as you're cooking, I don't mind at all." Strange as it was to think about, how quickly Zuko had become the light in Sokka's life. Or how that painful longing he once felt through the winters as he fantasized of his life beyond the tribe, being out in the world and finding his purpose with the salt spray in his hair and the sails full as they stretched above his head. He thought adventure, travel and trade were his calling just as it had been for his people before him. But Sokka realized now, that what he wanted, what he craved so badly wasn't a place he could find on a map, or a trade he could learn over the years. It was a person that made his heart feel lighter than air as it swiftly beat along to the drums of life that called to him. Like the sweet chorus of a binding ceremony, he found it tapping against his ribcage at the thought of swearing any vow to his fiery little ferret and Zuko swearing such a sacred oath back.
Maybe it was foolish of him to get his hopes up when the future was uncertain, but Zuko had promised their departure would not be finite. His calling would bring him back to Sokka after all was said and done in the Fire Nation. They would reunite and find each other again, and Sokka would be his.
Perhaps it was a foolish desire to be needed by someone other than his tribe. It felt like empty promises ringing in his ears as his father questioned his strength whether he intended to or not. Don't get him wrong, Sokka loved his family and his people more than words could ever express, but he still felt that longing to be wanted by someone beyond all this. He didn't need some grand prophecy or promised diplomacy to make it happen like in their stories of old. The tribesman just wanted more out of his life. He was restless with idly sitting by through the harsh months year after agonizing year. Sokka knew Hakoda felt the same way, he could see it in his dad's eyes as he paced around the village like an anxious buffalo yak. He understood why, he'd be blind not to. They all felt it after losing mom. Even Katara wanted out if only to escape the painful memories the cold brought with them. He knew she and Aang had plans for their future, just as his dad and Bato did, and that just left Sokka listless in the background.
That is, until Zuko came along and gave him that freedom he craved and the motivation to finally stand up and say what he wanted.
Having drifted off in thought, it must have shown on his face as he blinked away the dryness of his eyes to find the worried tilt of his little ferret staring back at him. One golden eye gazed longingly up at the warrior as Sokka offered a reassuring smile and lowered his head forward to brush their foreheads together in an affectionate gesture.
As the tips of their noses bumped, Sokka hummed softly. "I love you."
The soldier's cheeks warmed in surprise as Zuko's lips cocked with a smile. "I love you too, Sokka." After a pause, he nudged worriedly at the warrior as they snuggled a little closer. Zuko took Sokka's empty bowl to join his on the nightstand. "Are you sure you're feeling alright?"
"I'm fine." Sokka grunted cheerfully. "Just thinking of how lucky I am to have such a lovely ferret by my side."
"A lovely ferret?" Zuko cocked his head, an incredulous lift of his solitary brow. "You sure about that?" The look the soldier gave him clearly stated what Zuko wasn't saying, which seemed to ponder whether Sokka's health and sanity had worsened.
But Sokka was thinking clearly. More clearly, he'd dare to say, than he has in a long time. "You're right." Sokka purred. "A better description would have been a lustrously limber ferret. With luminous eyes of a lovely honey. A fair and fanciful fire ferret with a foxy fortitude, keen and clever, with ambidextrous ambitions that awe and inspire-"
By this point, Sokka's waxing poetics appeared to strike a chord with his flustered and flabbergasted ferret as his fire failed to fancy the facts the warrior had presented. His hands raised to cover Sokka's mouth as ruby red cheeks flushed hot like the coals in the hearth, as Zuko's good eye shone in the low light, stammering out some demand of silence that was inevitably futile.
"Shush." Zuko hissed under his breath as Sokka grinned. He licked the soldier's palm out of spite and smirked when Zuko shuddered in disgust and hissed once more, looking shocked by the action.
"But I was complimenting you." The warrior crooned. "Do you not like my compliments?"
"It's embarrassing." Zuko grumbled as he scrubbed his palm against his thigh to get the saliva off his skin with a grimace. "And oogie ."
"You've been spending too much time with Katara." Sokka rolled his eyes before resting his head against his ferret's shoulder with a content little sigh. Zuko tensed as if he expected some sort of underhandedness. Sokka would be lying if he said there wasn't any secondary motive to the gesture, but he wanted to see if the prince would let his guard down first before delivering the traitorous blow.
Zuko let his hands settle on Sokka's shoulder and lower back at first before welcoming his silent request to cuddle. It offered the perfect opportunity to sneak his fingers up the soldier's tunic until he had his target within reach. His fingers began their nefarious work as he tickled along Zuko's hips, belly and sides. The soldier writhed and hiccuped out a sound that was caught between a laugh and a cry of alarm before the swell of strained giggles and peals of desperate laughter filled the air. He squirmed almost violently beneath Sokka as the warrior attacked his lovely ferret in the weak spots that he knew had the young man practically throwing himself against the mattress.
It worked for all of a minute before Zuko got back at him by catching Sokka under the chin. Stunned by the return attack, and the light nip to his ear in the midst of his shock, Zuko progressed with the upperhand as he straddled the warrior's waist and pinned him back against the mattress. His own face burned hot with renewed embarrassment as the position reminded Sokka of some quiet self indulgent fantasies when he was alone in his room late at night.
The prince's fingers encircled Sokka's wrists as he pinned them above the warrior's head and snarled back, golden eyes viper sharp and calculating. "Behave or I'll make you."
Sokka choked on the little 'oh' that left his throat. Now that- that was so much more heated than Sokka was expecting it to be. Swallowing hard, the warrior opted to push his buttons just a little as he offered, almost breathlessly. "Don't make promises you don't intend to keep."
The little cock of Zuko's brow was all Sokka needed in order to know just how far and how serious his ferret was about it. After a few seconds, the prince's expression shifted, mildly confused as the tense silence settled between them, then Zuko's face warmed when he shifted his weight on Sokka.
"Hm?" There was an awkward noise before realization struck them both. For Sokka, it was the realization that Zuko's hadn't meant it that way when he flustered and stammered out. "Oh! OH! I didn't- Agni's misery strike me. " He muttered to himself as he slid off of Sokka's waist looking thoroughly chastened and embarrassed.
"I mean, I wouldn't exactly say no. " Sokka corrected after a moment. "But you know, circumstances and all."
Zuko only groaned miserably as he buried his face into his palms. "That's not helping." Sokka smirked as he pushed himself up slowly and shifted closer so he could wrap his arms around his ferret's waist to tuck him close. He settled his chin on Zuko's right shoulder with the utmost care as he mentally searched for any sign that this attention was unwanted. When none appeared, he relaxed and coaxed the soldier against his chest to snuggle him from behind.
"If it's any consolation, I think that was pretty hot on your part." He hummed. "If I was feeling better and all." Sokka added with a minor shrug. "It definitely helped soothe my mental anguish."
" Your mental anguish?" Zuko tilted his head to try and catch Sokka's gaze on his right side. After a few seconds the prince relaxed. The little rise in his brow was inquiring and confused. "You want to talk about mental anguish, you should try being stuck in a hut for a few days with only a bucket for a latrine." He stared pointedly at Sokka.
Sokka shrank back a little, sounding sheepish. "Sorry, I mean, well, at least Hama gave us those fragrant herbs?"
"Uh-huh. And how well has that been going for us?"
The warrior scoffed. "I think I lost my sense of smell on day one."
Zuko rolled his eyes and huffed. "How fortunate for you."
"I can offer cuddles for emotional support?" The tribesman sheepishly added, giving an encouraging tilt of his head and a cheeky little smile.
"I don't think I want those cuddles. I don't know where they've been." His fiery ferret shot back sarcastically.
"Rude." Sokka hissed. "I'll have you know, I give the best cuddles in the whole South."
Zuko paused, considered it for a moment then retorted. "I believe both Humpy and baby Lukka would beg to differ. They give some pretty high quality cuddles."
"The audacity!" Sokka let out a small cry of disbelief. "I would like a retrial! I would like to contest this claim for the honor of my cuddliness. After all, it's all I have going for me these days." He huffed. "A certain fire ferret already stole my spot for being the cutest in the whole South and the most lethal. "
"No no, you still have the place for being the most lethal." Zuko snorted. "The bucket over there weighed in on that decision. It had….quite a few opinions to share."
Okay, that was pretty sly, Sokka would have to give him that. But it was still a blow he could not take as he dramatically unfurled from his ferret and flopped back onto the mattress in the pile of bedding. "I am unloved!" He whined pathetically as he rolled over to face the wall only to find the pungent odor of the bucket was as unbearable as Zuko pointed out. It forced him to turn back around to face the other wall only to find the sly little ferret had crawled over next to him. They resumed facing each other as Zuko folded his arms over his chest and sighed.
"I suppose I could reconsider. Given the unique circumstances." The soldier stated matter-of-fact. Sokka sniffed. Zuko closed his eyes for a few seconds before he opened his good eye and announced. "You are pretty cuddly for a platypus bear. On account of your pudge."
"It is pretty high quality pudge." Sokka agreed with a hum. "100% pure southern style homegrown. You won't find better cuddles like this in the Fire Nation or the Earth Kingdom."
"Oh really?" The soldier's lips toyed thoughtfully at whatever had flitted across his mind. "I'll just have to test it further then. For better comparison."
Sokka opened his arms to welcome the soldier closer to which Zuko obliged by shuffling closer until his cheek was pressed against Sokka's shoulder. "It's very scientific, I agree."
Zuko's hands found their rest around Sokka's waist and tucked between himself and the warrior. It was a little awkward to get comfortable while lying on their sides like this, but it was more comfortable than applying pressure to his tender stomach when he just finally found his footing after the last few days. The soldier appeared to understand as he took the utmost care of where he rested his hands and arm against until they were both settled. Sokka tugged the blanket up over them both until it was just covering their shoulders.
After a few minutes of silence interrupted only by the crackle and pop of the wood in the hearth as the fire worked it down to ashes, Sokka finally murmured. "I really do appreciate having you here with me, Zuko. Even though it's unpleasant and it's miserable, it really does help take the worry away knowing you're with me and I'm not alone."
"I know, Sokka." Zuko assured.
"I just- I just want you to know that. I don't take it for granted, what you've done for me."
"I do know." The prince pressed a gentle kiss to Sokka's jaw as he softly reminded in his ear. "I understand how terrifying all of this can feel, and I never want you to have to go through that alone."
His words fell to a choked up silence as his throat tightened around the syllables he wished to say. But Zuko had said it all, and the look in his eyes told Sokka he didn't need to speak it for the soldier to understand, because he already did and Sokka was eternally grateful for that.
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