Work Text:
How hadn’t he noticed?
That simple question circled through Jaskier’s mind as he paced around his small apartment. It was so blindingly obvious thinking back on it. How hadn’t he noticed that he was dating his best friend?
Jaskier dragged a hand down his face and sat himself in front of his laptop for the fifth time in ten minutes. The screen still showed his half formulated Reddit post for advice, but the more he thought on it the more he came to realize that no one could help this level of stupidity.
The cursor continued to blink on the screen, seemingly mocking his obliviousness. He was a poet for fuckssake! Romance was supposed to be his thing!
Well, he was sure that Priscilla would say differently.
Priscilla. What an utter prick. This all started with her.
They’d been together since the start of college. Nearly five years together. Everyone, Jaskier included, had thought that they would get married, which had made finding Priscilla in their bed getting fucked by another man quite the shock. There had been cruel words thrown out by both parties and splitting up of furniture, and suddenly Jaskier had felt the need to escape.
He’d moved. Not just out of the apartment, but out of the state. New city, new him. At least that had been the plan before a fucking pandemic shut down the world. It was hard to find work as a musician and actor when all the theaters and bars were closed until further notice.
The first month he’d just sat on his couch eating chips and panicking over the unknown. Things were terrifying and watching the news just made things worse. It had stayed that way until the second month when he found an online tutoring program that would help to pay the bills. But the third month was the most important. That was when he met Geralt.
It had been an ordinary day. He’d just finished his zoom classes and was preparing to get his anxiety medicine from the pharmacy. For a moment he had considered putting on something other than his sweats, but then he remembered he had nothing else. After a few months of that combined with a post-break up slump, he found that none of his jeans fit anymore. With a shrug, he put on his jacket, grabbed a mask, and headed out the door.
They’d met that day on the line for the pharmacy. Geralt was quiet, the shy type, and built in a way Jaskier had never been, even before his break up. They soon found out that they worked for the same service, Jaskier specializing in music and Geralt in chemistry. Jaskier had left the line feeling that he’d finally made a new friend.
Soon after they had started to text everyday, eating lunch at one another’s place. It was nice to have someone to lean on, especially in this brand new place. Normally, Jaskier would’ve made friends with people in the area, but between the social isolation and the lingering pain of Priscilla’s betrayal he hadn’t been trying. Geralt had been kind enough to introduce him to his own friends. Although they were an odd group, they were welcoming and Jaskier had felt happy for the first time in nearly a year. With Geralt it was easy. They just understood one another. Being in his presence was never stressful or overwhelming. The older man was more like a balm on his soul, something he hadn’t known he needed until he had it.
All that said, it wasn’t until yesterday that he’d realized that he’d been dating him. He’d received a text from Geralt a few days earlier asking if they could do a dinner with just the two of them. He’d replied of course! It wasn’t unusual for them to dine by themselves, given the pandemic and that they were the only two of their friends that were single.
Then they’d gone out to dinner. Jaskier had put on his nicest pair of jeans, something Yennefer had insisted he buy because she wouldn’t be seen in public with a man wearing sweatpants. He felt he’d need them because Geralt was taking them to a nice place out of town. He’d taken a look in the mirror and thanked God that he wasn’t trying to impress anyone because he knew that he’d looked better. Priscilla had used to tell him how handsome he was. Maybe she had been right to get out while she could.
Then Geralt had insisted on driving, paying, and walking him to his door.
He’d cleared his throat and said,”I had a good time tonight.”
That had been strange, but honestly he’d just been glad that Geralt had been opening up. The man was seriously emotionally constipated. To be fair, he had no room to judge, not after how unaware he’d been of the situation.
Now he was sat at his computer, halfway to a panic attack because he was dating his best friend. Not only were they dating, but he actually liked Geralt. Liked-liked Geralt. He hadn’t felt this way about someone since Priscilla.
He’d never questioned his sexuality before this. He’d grown up in a pretty conservative part of Long Island with rich, conservative parents who never brought up the subject. Not that they were bigoted. Oh they were fine with people loving whoever they loved… that just didn’t extend to their son. Perhaps it did, but it was never something that they’d discussed. He hadn’t known it was something he needed to think about, because he had met Priscilla the first week of university and hadn’t thought of anyone else until she cheated on him.
Looking back it was obvious that he was in love with Geralt. Had been from the moment he’d clapped eyes on the gorgeous bastard. He just hadn’t identified it as romantic love. Instead, he’d chalked up their connection to a strong friendship. How could he have been so blind?
Clearing his mind, he took the next few minutes to type up his thoughts on Reddit and press submit. Maybe other opinions would help him to sort out his situation. He’d only known Geralt for a year. It was too fast for him to fall in love, wasn’t it? Either way, he needed to figure out whether it would be best to tell Geralt the truth. How would he react to knowing that Jaskier hadn’t known they were dating?
Jaskier took a deep breath and waited for the internet to deliberate. Until then he would stress bake some cookies to pass the time.
The internet was shit help. Although his post had gained massive recognition, no one was able to give him advice on how to handle the situation. Most people had wished him luck, but their well-wishes meant nothing if he couldn’t figure out what to do!
Jaskier puttered around his apartment, straightening the throw pillows on his couch as he waited for Geralt to arrive for their traditional Sunday movie night. Now that he knew it was a date he felt more nervous than ever. He’d spent nearly an hour just trying on all the clothes in his wardrobe, even the ones that he knew wouldn’t fit, just to find the right outfit for the night.
He sighed, going back to his bedroom to look at himself in the floor length mirror he’d bought at IKEA. He looked exactly like he knew he would. The same as how he’d looked an hour ago.
With a disappointed frown, he tugged at the edges of his sweater, fiddling with the bottom as if that would magically make him look like he used to. Why would Geralt even want him? He was an anxious disaster on his good days and he wasn’t even nice to look at anymore. Why would an Adonis downgrade for him? Maybe he was imagining it. There was no way that Geralt was actually interested—
He was dragged out of his thoughts by a familiar knock on the door. He was here.
Taking one last look in the mirror, he ran to the door, ran a hand through his hair and turned the knob.
Geralt looked beautiful. Well, he always looked fantastic, the absolute bastard. Even Jaskier had noticed that. He was wearing his signature black skinny jeans and a black henley that clung in all the right places. Fuck, Geralt was so out of his league, but then again he could be wr—
“Hello,” Geralt rumbled with a sweet smile on his face. Without another word he pressed a soft kiss onto Jaskier’s cheek.
Shit, he wasn’t wrong. He wasn’t sure whether he should be jumping in glee or fucking terrified. He’d settle for blushing a light shade of crimson.
Geralt smiled and tilted his head in confusion. “Was that okay? I should’ve asked.”
“No, no, that was lovely. Just took me a bit by surprise is all.”
Geralt squinted his eyes, looking at Jaskier as though he were a puzzle that needed solving, but after a few seconds he smiled again and took Jaskier’s hand in his own. “Sorry, Jas. I’m glad you liked it. Choose the movie?”
Jaskier blinked, still processing the fact that Geralt was holding his hand. He’d never noticed how large Geralt’s hands were before. They nearly enveloped his own in a warmth so comforting he never wanted to let go. He looked back up and found Geralt patiently waiting. Fuck, he’d asked a question, hadn’t he.
“I’m sorry, what?”
Geralt chuckled. “The movie. What did you choose this week?”
“Ah, yes the movie. I was thinking something classic. Pirates ?”
That earned a rare smile, although it had been becoming more prevalent in the past few weeks. “I love Pirates. The first one?”
“Of course! It’s the best.”
They soon fell back into the easy territory of snarky conversation that had defined their friendship from the beginning. It felt easy, familiar... safe.
That changed the moment they sat down on the sofa. Instead of their usual carefully maintained distance, Geralt scooted over so his strong thigh was pressed in line with his own and carefully draped a muscled arm around his waist to bring him closer.
Jaskier immediately froze, thinking back to the reflection that had greeted him minutes before. Geralt could feel it. Without making it too obvious, he tried to suck in his stomach. Maybe Geralt hadn’t noticed.
He caught Geralt frowning in the periphery of his vision, but quickly got up to grab the remote to start the film. Upon sitting down he took the opportunity to rearrange their sitting position so Geralt’s hand would rest on his bicep instead.
It worked for a little bit, but Geralt’s hand soon wandered back to its original position. Jaskier once again sucked in his stomach, hoping that he could keep it up for a two hour film. Luckily he didn’t have to.
Only a few minutes into the movie Geralt leaned over and grabbed the remote, pausing the film. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!”
Geralt scowled. “Obviously something is wrong! You’re tense and barely speaking. You love talking through films even when it drives me crazy.” There was a pause where Jaskier tried to gather his wits, but Geralt sighed and shook his head. “Am I making you nervous? If I am, tell me. We can still just be friends, Jas.”
“What, no! Geralt, it’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
Jaskier took a deep breath, trying to ground himself before diving in. He looked over at Geralt who was silently boring holes into his soul, pleading for an answer. He really hoped this wouldn’t be the end of their friendship.
“Ididntknowweweredating.”
“...What?”
Jaskier got off the couch and started to pace the length of the room as he spoke. “I didn’t know we were dating! I know it’ stupid, but I had absolutely no idea that we were seeing each other romantically! It wasn’t until yesterday that I realized you had been taking me on dates for the past few weeks, and I’m so sorry. I didn’t even know I was attracted to men until a few days ago, but I am, and I want you so fucking badly, but why would you want me? I’ve never been in a relationship with a man and my last one ended with the woman I was with for five years cheating on me, not to mention that I look terrible! I’m not even remotely attractive, I’m having a sexual awakening about a decade too late and now you’re going to leave—”
“Woah, woah, woah, Jas, calm down!”
Jaskier looked up and found Geralt standing in front of him with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. Shit, he’d ruined it. Of course he had, wasn’t that what he was best at. No one ever stayed too long.
“Come sit down at the island and I’ll make you some tea. While I make you tea, I’m going to try and understand what you meant, okay?”
“Okay,” Jaskier sniffled, allowing Geralt to shepherd him towards the kitchen seating. Once Geralt settled him in, the older man started rummaging through his cupboards, knowing exactly where to find everything. It was like he was meant to be there.
“Now,” Geralt said after finding all of the ingredients, “I am going to ask for some clarifications. I’m not great with words, so you’ll need to help me, okay?”
Jaskier nodded, waiting for Geralt to realize what a terrible person he was.
“Great. So you didn’t know we were dating?”
Jaskier’s lips trembled, trying to keep back the tears that were pricking the corner of eye. This was going to be hard.
“Y-Yes.”
There was a brief pause before Geralt burst into laughter. Jaskier blinked, alarmed at the response. He’d expected anger, hurt, maybe even shouting, but never laughter.
Geralt stood up again, the smile still on his face as he tried to speak. “S-Sorry, Jas. It’s just that I only asked you out because everyone told me you’d been flirting with me for months. I wouldn’t have worked up the courage otherwise.”
…Oh. That was interesting. Jaskier took a moment to think back on his friendship with Geralt and realized that their friends were right. He’d been unintentionally flirting with Geralt from day one. He was a natural flirt, but deep down he must’ve already known that he’d been attracted to the older man.
“I-I’m sorry, Geralt. I didn’t realize—”
“It’s alright, especially because the second clarification is that you do like me too?”
Jaskier paused but nodded. “Yes, yes I do. I like you a lot.”
He looked up shyly and found Geralt looking at him with a warm look on his face, holding out a cup of tea. Jaskier took it and sipped it gingerly. It was perfect. Of course it was, Geralt knew how he liked his tea. Geralt knew almost everything about him.
“Geralt, I like you so much, but I don’t know how to navigate this. I didn’t even know I was into men! I don’t want to lead you on because—” Jaskier swallowed away his fear, hoping the payoff would be worth it. “—Because you mean too much to me.”
There was silence in the kitchen. Geralt nodded his head and walked over to sit in the stool beside him. “I don’t really know what I’m doing either. I’ve never been in a relationship with a man before; I didn’t even realize I was into men until nearly two years ago.”
Jaskier gasped as Geralt took his free hand and soothed the skin with his thumb. “I’m just as in the dark about this as you are, Jas. I want to learn with you.”
Those words were the last blows to the dam holding back his tears. Before he knew it his face was crumbling and he was surrounded by Geralt’s strong arms. They were the only things keeping him together as he nearly fell apart.
He heard Geralt trying to soothe him and felt a pair of rough hands take his face into them. Looking up, he found Geralt’s face looking at him with warmth and love.
“One last question, Jas, and then we can go back to the couch and finish the movie or just cuddle. Is that alright?”
Jaskier nodded, suddenly too tired for words.
“Alright. Thank you. You said something that I can’t ignore for another moment and I need you to understand something important. You said that you weren’t attractive.”
Jaskier flinched and tried to look away but Geralt held him firmly, not letting him go when all he wanted to do was hide.
“I need you to know that you’re wrong. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met, inside and out. I don’t know where that bullshit came from, but I need you to know that you are perfect to me. Do you understand?”
Jaskier felt his lips trembling again, but refused to cry. Not again. “But—”
“No. No buts, Jas. I mean that. You’re beautiful. I love every part of you. I love that you’re always humming or singing or talking. You’re never quiet. You’re kind to everyone you meet and are always ridiculously positive when I can’t be. I’ve never seen you do something mean spirited to anyone. Not even spiders, Jas!” Jaskier chuckled at that, because it was true. He never had the heart to kill insects, even if they were scary.
“You’re also so intelligent. I’ve never met someone who I can talk to about anything. We can talk about Lord of the Rings and then switch to a conversation about global warming. You are so smart and always willing to learn more. And that doesn’t even start to cover your physical assets.”
Jaskier grimaced at that, letting his mind float back to what he’d seen in the mirror earlier, but he was soon pulled out of his thoughts by Geralt’s voice.
“Don’t make that face. I’m not a shallow man, but I have standards and you exceed them. I swear you are so fucking sexy, Jas. It’s been torture sitting on a couch with you for months and not being able to touch you. You look like a sexy lumberjack”
Jaskier snorted, breaking out of Geralt’s hold and crossing his arms around his stomach. He’d let his beard grow out during COVID and after his break up, so the lumberjack part of Geralt’s description wasn’t far off. “Yes, well, wouldn’t you like it better if I were less... doughy.”
Geralt frowned and shook his head. “That doesn’t matter to me, Jas. I like you, no matter the shape or size. Although, I have to say that your ass looks amazing right now.”
Jaskier smirked, feeling a tiny bit better. “Really?”
“Hmmm,” Geralt replied, with a glazed look in his eyes. “I will support you in whatever decisions you make about your body, but I need to make it clear that I think you’re the sexiest person I know. Understand?”
Jaskier frowned, thinking over his words. He wasn’t lying. Over the past year, Jaskier had learned Geralt’s tells and he could undoubtedly say that Geralt was telling the truth.
“I believe you. I don’t understand, but I believe you.”
Geralt took his hand and kissed it gently on the knuckles. “That’s a good start...I’d like to help you understand if you’d let me.”
A smile found its way onto Jaskier’s face as he leaned forward and caught Geralt’s lips in his own. It was a short kiss, not searing and desperate or passionate and deep, but it was absolutely perfect.
As they broke apart, Geralt laughed and scooped Jaskier into his arms, carrying him to the couch.
“Geralt!”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”
Jaskier felt calm for the first time in months as Geralt laid him down on the sofa, soon after lying down beside him. They still had a lot to talk about, but that could wait. For now, he was happy where he was and he couldn’t wait to update his Reddit post in the morning.