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Published:
2021-10-28
Completed:
2025-09-02
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2,870
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41/41
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Wonderfully Twisted Quotes

Summary:

Sometimes, you just need to have your thoughts heard and spoken to the characters. AKA, You speak your mind and let them have it.

A list of incorrect Twisted Wonderland Quotes

Chapter 1: Lecture

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Vil: *Lecturing Idia about his lifestyle choices*

Epel: Should we help him out?

MC/YN/Yuu: *Playing a game with Ortho* Who?

Epel: Idia. He looks like he’s going to melt into the floor.

MC/YN/Yuu: *nonchalantly* No, leave them be. Vil needs to relieve some stress, and Idia needs to go out to touch some grass some more. Who knows when he last went out of his bedroom. It’s unhealthy and a bad example for Ortho.

Rook: *Taking pictures of Vil, who looks like he wants to stomp on Idia with his high heels* Beaute!

Notes:

[Tumblr date: 8/30/21]

Chapter 2: Persephone

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*After Chapter 6 (probably)*

MC/YN/YUU: *laughing and gesturing towards the Dorm Leaders + Jamil* So you guys were basically the Persephone to Idia’s Hades.

Dorm Leaders + Jamil:

Idia: *Crawling under a blanket to disappear*

Notes:

[Tumblr date: 8/31/21]

Chapter 3: Protect

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


MC/YN/Yuu: *Playing a game with Ortho*

Everyone:

Ace: So…how did you stop Idia from overblotting?

MC/YN/Yuu: I threatened to destroy all his otaku stuff including his saved game files. I hacked into his computer and threatened to spread his internet search history and baby pictures. He was adorable as a baby by the way.

Idia: *crying and hugging his stuff*

Deuce: Have we told you how much we love you lately?

Notes:

[Tumblr date: 9/2/21]

Chapter 4: Princes of Villains

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Idia: *Monologuing about his evil plans*

Dorm Leaders + Jamil: *Irritated for various reasons*

~*BOOM*~ 

~*MC/YN/Yuu appears with fancy clothes on and a bouquet of flowers*~

Idia: What is going on!? How is this possible!?

MC/YN/Yuu: *gestures with flowers in the Dorm Leaders + Jamil’s general direction* Hello, my Princes of Villains! Your Princess charming has come to save you. That also includes you Idia and whatever is making you go all angst and evil on us. I brought my own dragon along to complete the look, and because he should have fun too.

Malleus: *Smirks* Hello. 

Dorm Leaders (including Idia) + Jamil: *surprised and oddly flattered* …

Notes:

[Tumblr Date: 9/7/21]

Chapter 5: Water

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


MC/YN/Yuu: *Smiling in angry* You know what technology and fire have in common? 

Idia: *Sweating* Fire can destroy technology?

MC/YN/Yuu: Close, but no, they both can be destroyed by water. Isn’t that right Kalim?

*Kalim going crazy casting water magic*

Kamil: *Angry in sunshine* Give back Jamil!!! And my friends!!!!

Jamil: *Thinking of the expenses and the cleanup*  ….

Azul: *Pats Jamil’s back* That’s rough buddy. 

Notes:

[Tumbr Post Date: 9/9/21]

Chapter 6: Introverts

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*Rook, Kalim, and Floyd causing chaos*

Dorm Leaders + Jamil:

S.T.Y.X. Soldiers: We are too introverted for this many people. 

Notes:

[Tumblr Date: 9/11/21]

Chapter 7: The Rich

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*During Chapter 6, after the kidnapping of the Dorm Leaders and Jamil*

S.T.Y.X. Solider 1: They complain about everything! The redhead might be small, but have you seen him when I gave him the tea? The water was too hot apparently for that type of tea. The beastman complained about not enough meat!

S.T.Y.X. Solider 2: You think that’s bad? Have you seen how the one in glasses kept complaining about the lack of quality in his food? Or how the long-haired one looked down on us about the seasoning of his food.

S.T.Y.X. Solider 3: I don’t care what anyone of you says. The one with the pretty hair looked like he was going to step on me for not having any healthier options for him! I might have let him honestly.

S.T.Y.X. Solider 1: Do I need to mention their attitude?

S.T.Y.X. Solider 2: No! I have never been treated so badly. Are we sure these are nobility?

S.T.Y.X. Solider 3: *Cries* My family never treated me this way

Yuu/YN/MC: *pats soldier’s back* Have you seen the dorm I am in?

S.T.Y.X. soldiers + Yuu/YN/MC: Damn these rich people.

Dorm Leaders + Jamil: …

Notes:

[Tumblr Date: 9/17/21]

Chapter 8: Threat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*Twisted Wonderland Chapter 6 Spoilers*

*Azul in his office before chapter 6*

Azul: *reading the file about Idia Shroud* Never leaves his room and talks through a floating tablet. Brother is Ortho Shroud.

Azul: *Turns the page* He is an Otaku. Whatever that is. Plays video games *Proceeds to read page long titles of video games*

Azul: *flips pages on more of Idia Shroud’s online habits* He’s not going to be a threat *closes the folder and shreds it*

*Azul in Chapter 6*

Azul: *in the dark* …

Notes:

[Tumblr Date: 8/31/21]

Chapter 9: Services

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*After dealing with 8 Overblots (Dorm Leaders + Jamil + Grim)*

 

MC/YN/Yuu: *tired and angry* Azul, how many shifts would I have to work at Monstro Lounge for you to help me hide a body.

Azul: *surprised, glasses skewed* W-what?

MC/YN/Yuu: *smiles angrily* How many shifts?

Azul: *clears throat* I would say around 5 or 6 depending the level of difficulty. Would you need help incapacitating them?

MC/YN/Yuu: *smiles at a certain sweating birdbrain* No, I can handle that myself.

Floyd: *has a shovel ready* Shrimpy! I want to help too!

Jade: *chuckles* This is a very interesting development.

Everyone: *feeling varying degrees of surprise, awe, amusement, and fear*

Notes:

[Tumblr date: 10/2/21}

Chapter 10: Trick or Treat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*Knocks on Crowley’s door*

Grim: Trick or treat!

MC/YN/Yuu: *has rotten eggs ready* Say trick, say trick you stupid headmaster.

Deuce: Should we stop them? I think those eggs are going to be thrown no matter what the headmaster says.

Ace: Nah, let them have some fun. They need to blow off some steam anyways. Better the headmaster than us.

Notes:

[Tumblr: 10/15/21]

Chapter 11: Invite

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Malleus: *being depressed about lack of invites and no friends*

MC/YN/Yuu: Now you listen here you overgrown lizard! You have Lilia who acts like a father figure to you. You have Sebek who destroys our eardrums while he simps for you. You have Silver who always looks up to you. The last thing you are is friendless! Not to mention all the enemies-to-friends potential you have going for you: Vil and Leona is on top of the list. 

MC/YN/Yuu:  *glares* Now get your butt over to my dorm while I invite everyone else for some needed bonding time. Riddle has wonderful tea and Kalim loves to give hugs. Ortho and Floyd will drag Idia and Azul over for games. You want an invite? I am here to personally take you. Let’s go now before we find out if a sliced lizard’s tail really grows back.

Malleus: *Surprised Pikachu face*

Silver: *For once not sleeping*

Sebek: *About to blow a gasket*

Lilia: *Vibrating in laughter*  

Notes:

[Tumblr: 08/ 26/21]

Chapter 12: Bubble Wrap

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*After 6 chapters worth of Overblot*

MC/YN/Yuu: *tired and just over everything* This school needs a therapist…and a better headmaster.

Malleus: Child of man?

MC/YN/Yuu: *Noticed the pattern of overblots* Come here Tsunotaro, I have something for you.

Malleus: ??????

MC/YN/Yuu: *proceeds to wrap Malleus in bubble wrap* Now sit here, while I go get a blanket, hot cocoa, and some ice cream. You are not overblotting on my watch.

MC/YN/Yuu: *in the kitchen, yelling out the window* Lilia, Silver, and Sebek! You three better come in as well. I will not have Sebek oveblotting because he thinks I’m stealing his lord away.

Notes:

Happy New Year!

[Tumbler date: 9/3/21]

Chapter 13: Bride

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


-*On one random day before Halloween, in the cafeteria*-

Grim: *Randomly stating* Minion is planning to dress up as a bride for Halloween this year. I wonder who the groom is.

All Twst Boys: *Runs out the door* 

Grim: Nyaaa~ Wonder what’s that about, more food more me. 

Notes:

[Tumblr Date: 10/19/21]

Chapter 14: Nom Nom

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


MC/YN/Yuu: *Playfully growls, hands curled into -paws-* You look good enough to eat Tsunotarou!

Malleus: *Clutches heart from the cuteness* Child of Man, is this your way of saying you want to be mates? 

Leona: *Smacks forehead* …

Notes:

[Tumblr Date: 10/21/21]

Chapter 15: Costume

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Crowley: What costume should I wear this year?

MC/YN/Yuu: You can wear the one you always wear.

Crowley: What do you mean? I’m not usually wearing any costumes?

MC/YN/Yuu: Really? You seem to pull off the deadbeat dad costume really well. You know, the one who leaves for milk and never comes back and even forgets the milk?

All Twst Boys and Staff: …

Deuce: Do you need a hug?

Notes:

[Tumble Date: 10/25/2021]

Chapter 16: Forever

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


MC/YN/Yuu: Hey Rook?

Rook: Yes, Ma Cherie?

MC/YN/Yuu: I need you. 

Rook: For?

MC/YN/Yuu: *Smirks* Ever.

Rook: *flustered, voice cracking* Oh. 

Notes:

[Date: 11/3/21]

Chapter 17: Frustrations

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


-*Ace is possessed by a ghost*~ 

Ghost! Ace: Muwahaha! I have your friend now! There’s nothing you can do. 

MC/YN/Yuu: *smiles evilly thinking of all the trouble ADeuce + Grim caused* There’s a few things I can do. I have a lot of frustrations to get out. 

~*Later*~

Ace: *Groaning* Why does everything hurt?

MC/YN/Yuu: You were possessed and we beat it out of you.

Deuce and Grim: *Cowering in fear* …

Notes:

[Date: 11/15/21]

Chapter 18: Theater Kids

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Sebek and Rook: *Singing*

Trey: *Surprised and shocked, now has to deal with two theater kids*

MC/YN/Yuu: With a voice like that, why are you surprised that Sebek can be a opera singer? He’s always yelling our ears off.

Notes:

[Date: 11/21/21]

Chapter 19: Would You Kindly?

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~*During Malleus’ Birthday, the time to throw a pie at Malleus*~

Riddle: Would you kindly stoop down a bit?

Malleus: *Amused and happy to be included in this weird human pie throwing ritual; crouches down*

Riddle: *throws a pie at Malleus’ face* Thank you.

Notes:

[Date: 11/23/21]

Chapter 20: All the Cuddles

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*~After Deuce’s Possession in Endless Halloween Night~*

MC/YN/Yuu: *Cuddles and pets Deuce*

Ace: *pouts* Why is he getting all the cuddles and love?

MC/YN/Yuu: *Hugs Deuce* Because he is baby.

Ace & Grim: *Jealous*

Deuce: *Blushes*

Notes:

[Date: 11/29/21]

Chapter 21: Point of View

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Riddle: *Frustrated* Would you look at it from my point of view?

Malleus: *Lifts up Riddle; Smirks*

Riddle: *Shocked and turning red*…I hate you.


 

Notes:

[Date: 12/4/21]

Chapter 22: Two Can Play That Game

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~-Idia monologuing his plans-~ 

Dorm Leaders + Jamil:

~-Sudden screen appears, startling everyone-~

YN/MC/Yuu: Hello Idia, just wanted to inform you that since you stole my cat and friends, I stole something from you too.

~-Shows Ortho on Screen-~

Idia: What?! Ortho?! How?!

YN/MC/Yuu: Two can play that game. Now, give me my friends back and we can have a nice chat over some snacks. Bye~

Everyone:


 

Notes:

[Date: 12/23/21]

Thank you for 100+ comments and 7,000 Hits 💜🌺🌸💕🌻

Chapter 23: Allergic

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Floyd: Shrimpy!

MC/YN/Yuu: *Tired, slouched over a table* I’m allergic to shrimp.

Floyd: *Frozen*

Jade: *Chuckles*

Azul: *Taking notes furiously*


 

Notes:

[1/4/22]

Chapter 24: Google

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Cater: *Speaking social media lingo*

YN/MC/Yuu: *Closes Cater’s mouth* …

Cater: *Surprised Pikachu face*

YN/MC/Yuu: Give me a minute, I need urban dictionary for this and this world’s version of Google.


 

Notes:

[Date: 1/23/22]

Chapter 25: Mischievous

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~*First-Year Gang slams open Ramshackle dorm’s door*~

Ace: Prefect!

Deuce: Shh Ace! Prefect could be sleeping.

Jack: It’s too early for them to sleep.

Epel: I think Prefect is dead.

~*Prefect on sofa knocked out cold*~

Sebek: *Pokes the Prefect* HUM-

~*Sebek gets smothered by Jack*~

MC/YN/Yuu: zzzzz

Epel: Aww, Prefect looks so cute sleeping…time to mark up Prefect’s face!


 

Notes:

[Date: 1/31/22]

Chapter 26: Revenge

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~*In Octavinelle Dorm, Azul waiting for the Prefect to sign the contract to give Ramshackle Dorm to him*~

Ace, Deuce, and Grim: *Begging Prefect to sign the contract* 

YN/MC/Yuu: No.

Everyone: *Shocked*

Azul: *Clearly not expecting such an answer* W-why? Don’t you want to save your friends?

YN/MC/Yuu: No, they deserve the punishment for cheating. Also…

*Prefect smiles evilly at Ace, Deuce, and Grim, who in return starts to sweat* 

YN/MC/Yuu: Remember how you ran away from lessons, Grim? And how I captured you with the help of Ace and Deuce, after bribing them with food? Me? The student with barely any Madol on me? Well, this is revenge for that. Suffer.

~*Jack’s respect for the Prefect grows*~

Azul: *shocked*…Forget the contract. Would you like to work for me?     

Ace, Deuce, and Grim: *Cries*


 

Notes:

[Date: 2/5/22]

Chapter 27: Valentine

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


YN/MC/Yuu: *Holds out a gift to Sebek* Happy Valentine’s Day Sebek.

Sebek: …

~*Rest of the first year gang munching on their chocolates*~ 

Epel: I think you broke him.

Sebek: Human! Are you propositioning me?!

YN/MC/Yuu: What?! No!

~*Rest of the first year gang falling on the floor in laughter*~

Silver: *smacks his forehead* Why is he like this?

Lilia: Fufu~ I think it’s fun! I’m putting this in the wedding album!


 

Notes:

[2/14/22]

Chapter 28: Use Your Head

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Leona: If you want to beat Azul, you have to use your head.

YN/MC/Yuu: …I have the perfect plan.

*At Mostro Lounge*

Malleus: Ashengrotto, you will destroy all those contracts or face my wrath.

Azul: *Sweating* H-how?

YN/MC/Yuu: *Smirks* I promised to invite him to all my parties and that we’d go out for ice cream.

Everyone:


 

Notes:

[Date: 2/27/22]

Chapter 29: Dramatic Bird

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


Crowley: Aren’t I gracious? 

YN/MC/Yuu: If I had a Madol for every time I heard that, Ramshackle Dorm would be a whole new place and my bank account would never be empty.

Crowley: Everyone tried bribing the judges! Why must our student body be so scheming?

YN/MC/Yuu: With a Headmaster like you, is anyone really surprised?

Crowley: Prefect, is there something you want to say?

YN/MC/Yuu: *Unfurls long list* Yes, how much time do we have?

Crowley: ...

Everyone Else: *Smothers laughter*


 

Notes:

[3/11/22]

Chapter 30: White Day

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~*At Ramshackle Dorm*~

YN/MC/Yuu: It’s oddly quiet today.

~*Outside: Chaos as all the Twst Characters sabotage each other from giving White Day Gifts to the Prefect*~

YN/MC/Yuu: Oh well!~ Time to take a nap.


 

Notes:

[3/14/2022]

Chapter 31: Happy Bean's Day

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*Sounds of bean shooters could be heard*

YN/MC/Yuu: *Shooting at Pomefiore and Savanaclaw students* Why are you running now?! Is it because we are on an even ground now? Come back here you limp noodle!

Cater: *Recording for Magicam*

YN/MC/Yuu: HAHAHAHAHA

*Meanwhile on the sidelines*

Trey: You should discipline your students better if the Prefect, of all people, are going after them like this.

Vil and Leona: ...  


 

Notes:

[Date: 4/2/22]

Chapter 32: Suspicious

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*During Book 4, in Scarabia* 

Jamil: Come, join us for food.

Jamil: I would ask for your help, oh gracious ones.

Jamil: Please, won’t you help us?

YN/MC/Yuu: You’re suspicious. I don’t trust you.

Jamil: W-what?

YN/MC/Yuu: Mood swinging Dorm Leader aside,  which is kind of normal given the environment, but you? Acting all nice? You’re the suspicious one. I had dealings with people like Crowley and Azul, so I know better than to trust the nice ones, especially in a villain school.

Jamil: ...


 

Notes:

[Date: 4/10/22]

Chapter 33: A Day Off

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


YN/MC/Yuu: So you're telling me that you decided to give these feral students, who kind of lack common sense, weapons to shoot beans at each other with for a day? 

Divus Crewel: Yes.

YN/MC/Yuu: You just didn't want to deal with them for a day, huh? Wanted a break from giving them detention? 

Mozus Trein: *cough* 


 

Notes:

[4/17/22]

Chapter 34: I'll Be Ready

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*Ramshackle Dorm*

*Ace and Deuce stares as Prefect piles 2,000+ supply boxes on top of each other.*

Deuce: ...Umm, Prefect?

YN/MC/Yuu: Yes?

Ace: What are you going to do with all those supplies?

YN/MC/Yuu: I’m going to save them until the next Bean’s Day. Azul won’t be ready for me. 

Deuce: *Prays to be on Prefect’s team again.* 

*Meanwhile at Octavinelle*

Azul: *Sneezes*


 

Notes:

[4/27/22]

Chapter 35: Sigh

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


*During Book 4*

Jamil: ...

Jamil: *Sighs* 

Jamil: *mumbles*

Jamil: *grumbles* 

Jamil: Grrr

YN/MC/Yuu: Yeah, I don’t think we need to figure out who the hypnosis culprit truly is. 


Notes:

[Date:5/3/22]

Chapter 36: Whoopee

Notes:

💕💚🌺

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


YN/MC/Yuu: *Stares* 

Jamil: ...

YN/MC/Yuu: *Stares* 

Jamil: ...Prefect?

YN/MC/Yuu: *Smirks* Sometimes I just want to go....Whoopee!

Jamil: *Chokes*


 

Notes:

🌺💜💚

Chapter 37: When Push Comes to Shove

Notes:

TW: Menstrual Cycle

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


*During Book 4* 

Scarabia Student A: You can’t leave the dorm.

Scarabia Student B: You’re breaking the rules.

YN/MC/Yuu: Unless you gentlemen want to get me my pads, water bottle, and pain killers; you better get the fuck out of my way.

Scarabia Students A & B: Yes, Prefect!


 

Notes:

💕🌺🌻

Chapter 38: Praise

Notes:

🌺🌻💕

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text


Leona: You think you can beat me in magic? I am at the top of my class, even a protégé like you can’t beat me Riddle.

YN/MC/Yuu: Was that before or after you repeated the year Leona? Because that’s nothing to be praised about, at least Riddle didn’t repeat.

Everyone else:

Ace: Prefect, what the fuck?!

YN/MC/Yuu: What? He’s the one gloating!

Deuce: But time and place Prefect!

Leona: *Proceeds to Overblots*

YN/MC/Yuu: Meh, it was worth it. I was getting tired of his smug ass.


 

Notes:

[Date: 5/8/22]

Chapter 39: Life Changing Field Trip

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~*After Book 6*~

Malleus: Child of Man?

YN/MC/Yuu: Yes, Tsunotarou?

Malleus: *Pouts* When is our life-changing field trip? Everyone else went on one with you.

YN/MC/Yuu: *Feels tired to the bone* Give me a week to sleep everything off and then we can go on one Tsunotarou. 

Malleus: *Happy dragon fae noises*


 

Notes:

[5/21/22]

Chapter 40: Glow Eyes

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


YN/MC/Yuu: Does anyone ever wonder why the headmaster’s eyes look like that?

Ace: Like what?

YN/MC/Yuu: Like two small gold ping pong balls in a black pool of paint. 

Deuce: W-what?

YN/MC/Yuu: Or I guess you could describe it as those gold pin needles you put in black cloth. 

Epel: Ummm.

YN/MC/Yuu: But no, seriously, it's literally two small glowing circles in a pool of black. How is that normal to any of you?

Jack: ...you might have a point, Prefect.

Sebek: Prefect has a strange way of describing things.

YN/MC/Yuu: You’re the last one to talk, Sebek.


 

Notes:

[5/26/22]

Chapter 41: My Child

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


~*During a Regular Day At NRC*~

Leona: Jack is reliable and can get anything done.

Riddle: Well, the other day, Ace showed great skill during an Unbirthday Party.

MC/YN/Yuu: What does it feel like to be the favorite child?

Ace: *Whines and grumbles*

Jack: *Tail wags* 

Deuce: *Pouts* I can be better than Ace.


Notes:

[6/2/22]