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For Want of a Hair

Summary:

“Okay, okay,” Jirou sighed. “Never have I ever… I dunno… eaten one of All Might’s hairs?”

---

The class decides to play Never Have I Ever. It does not go how anyone expected.

Notes:

I don't remember how I came up with this idea at all but it was in my notes and, well. I was obligated to write it. Here you go

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It was a peaceful Sunday evening in the 1-A dorms; there was a blanket of lethargy smothering any motivation to find something productive to do. A study session held earlier that day in a joint collaboration between Yaoyorozu and Iida had eliminated the need to finish homework. For once, no one had any responsibilities to take care of.

It was the most boring evening anyone had experienced all month.

Dinner had come and gone, and now almost everyone was lounging in the living room, gazing listlessly at the TV.

Ashido was the one who suggested it: “Hey, let’s play Never Have I Ever.”

A few heads perked up at this, though it was quickly discovered that not everyone in class knew what it was.

“It’s pretty simple,” Ashido explained. “Everyone holds up ten fingers—though with a group this big I guess we might do five—anyway, one person says something they’ve never done, like, ‘Never have I ever been to America,’ and then anyone who’s done that puts a finger down. We keep going in a circle, and then when there’s only one person with any fingers up, that person is the winner.”

“Hm.” Yaoyorozu smiled. “That sounds like fun.”

“I’ll do anything if it means I don’t have to lie around doing nothing all day,” Kaminari groaned.

“Don’t you have a bunch of games and toys and stuff in your room?” Hagakure questioned.

“Irrelevant.”

“Anyone else want to play?” Ashido called to the masses.

“We’ll join!” Kirishima punched Bakugou’s arm playfully. “Nothing better to do, right?”

“Hell no,” Bakugou snarled. “I’m gonna go train.” He got up off the couch and started toward the stairs.

“What, scared to lose?”

Bakugou stopped, utterly frozen. For a moment, there was nothing but tense silence. Then he snapped back around. “What did you say, extra? I’ve done less shit than anyone in this class! I’ll win, just you watch!”

“But isn’t doing less kinda like losing at life?”

“SHUT UP!”


Five minutes later they were all gathered in a circle on the couches, each holding up five fingers. Yaoyorozu had produced a notepad and pen to keep score in case anyone got confused.

“I’ll go first,” Ashido volunteered. “Never have I ever hiked Mount Fuji.”

Bakugou lowered his first finger with an enraged scream. Todoroki and Ojiro followed, though without so much drama.

“Don’t worry, man, it’s only the first round,” Kirishima reasoned.

“HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT BETTER?” Bakugou shouted.

“I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.”

Kaminari, who was sitting to Ashido’s left, continued the game before that conversation had a chance to escalate any further. “Never have I ever been put on house arrest.”

Bakugou started screaming again, and Midoriya, looking disappointed, slowly began to lower a finger.

“Okay, no, stop,” Ashido interrupted. “I should have said this at the beginning, but no targeted questions, guys. Kaminari, ask something else.”

Bakugou stopped screaming. Midoriya’s face lit up with relief, and he straightened his finger back out again.

“Fiiine,” Kaminari groaned. “Never have I ever… uh… broken a bone?”

“Kaminari, what did I just say?”

“It’s not a targeted question!” Kaminari gestured to the circle. “Like, half the people here have broken a bone. At least.”

Ashido glanced around, and sure enough, a good portion of the class had a finger down.

“I broke my tail once,” Ojiro explained unprompted.

Ashido sighed. “All right, I’ll allow it. Midoriya, put your finger down.”

“Aw man…”

Ashido ignored him. “Jirou, you’re up next.”

“Okay, okay,” Jirou sighed. “Never have I ever… I dunno… eaten one of All Might’s hairs?”

Several people burst out laughing, a few grimaces mixed in.

“Ahh gross!” Hagakure squeaked.

“What the heck, Jirou?” Kaminari sputtered between wheezes. “All—All Might’s hair, really? What are the odds someone here has done that?”

She turned slightly red. “Well sorry, I needed to come up with something! It wasn’t that funny anyway, I don’t know why you’re all laughing!”

“Don’t worry, Jirou, I thought it was good,” Sero said with a consoling pat.

In all the commotion, Uraraka was the one to notice Midoriya Izuku putting a finger down. For a moment she could only stare, letting the conversation flow around her. Had he misheard the question? Put his finger down as a joke? Or… No, it couldn’t be... “...Deku?” she whispered.

Her voice drew Tsuyu’s attention. Said frog girl blinked and raised a finger to her chin. “Midoriya, did you put your finger down?”

The laughter died as the others turned to see what was going on.

“Wait, what?” Kirishima leaned forward. “Bro… I could have sworn you had four fingers up before…”

“He did,” Yaoyorozu confirmed. She held up the notepad, which clearly indicated that Midoriya had only put down one finger before now.

Slowly, everyone turned to face him again.

A faint sheen of sweat bloomed across his forehead.

Iida stared at the wall over Midoriya’s shoulder as if it could provide the answers to the questions forming in everyone’s minds.

“What the hell,” Jirou said flatly.

“I knew you were obsessive, Midoriya, but this…?” Tokoyami shook his head.

Even Todoroki looked up from where he had been examining a suspiciously reddish stain on the carpet, half hidden beneath the coffee table. “I’m sorry, Midoriya, but I have to agree that this is a little weird.”

“It-it’s not like that!” Midoriya waved his hands frantically, incriminating number of fingers still held up for all to see. “Kacchan, back me up!”

“Huh?” Bakugou crossed his arms. “Why the hell would I do that? Apparently you ate one of All Might’s hairs!”

“It was for the thing!” Midoriya defended.

Bakugou raised an eyebrow. “‘The thing’?”

“Y’know…” Midoriya made a flexing motion with his arms, then punched the air in front of him vaguely. “The thing .”

“Oh.” Bakugou’s brow furrowed—more than usual, that is. “Oh. That’s how— What the fuck.”

“I know, it was horrible.” Midoriya shuddered. “Now back me up!”

“Sure, fine, whatever.” Bakugou rolled his eyes and glanced over the rest of his classmates. “The nerd might be a weirdo, but he didn’t eat the hair for weird reasons.”

Iida took off his glasses and began rubbing frantic circles into the lenses using the hem of his shirt. “That is not reassuring, nor does it explain anything.”

“Wasn’t supposed to.”

“In what context could eating All Might’s hair not be weird?” Yaoyorozu said.

While everyone else was talking, Midoriya quietly got up and began creeping toward the dorm rooms. His escape attempt did not go unnoticed, however, and in a display of excessive force, enthusiasm, and manliness, Kirishima leapt to his feet and tackled Midoriya to the floor.

“You’re not getting out of this that easily!” he yelled. “Sero, tape him down.”

“Don’t tackle your classmates in the dorms!” Iida shouted half-heartedly.

“I don’t like this game,” Midoriya said, voice muffled by the carpet.

At that moment, as Sero was unraveling tape from his elbows, there was the click of a doorknob, and the front door swung open.

“Hello, class,” All Might said as he shuffled into the building, closing the door behind him. “Sorry to interrupt your free time, but I was hoping to talk to— Ah, there he is.” He looked down at Midoriya, whose face was still squashed into the floor. “Young Midoriya, might I have a word?”

The class was silent for a moment. They looked at All Might—more specifically, All Might’s head of luscious golden locks—then back at Midoriya. Then back at All Might.

“All Might-sensei,” Tokoyami started. He couldn’t finish.

Todoroki, mercilessly, did it for him. “Are you aware that Midoriya has eaten one of your hairs?”

All Might stared at the class.

They waited for his reaction.

He looked down at Midoriya again. “My boy, what have you been telling them?”

“We were playing Never Have I Ever,” Midoriya explained, voice still muffled.

“I… see…” His gaze searched the room. “And someone asked…?”

“If anyone had ever eaten one of your hairs, yes.”

Jirou shrank down into the couch cushions.

“Ah.” All Might’s eyes landed on Bakugou. “Young Bakugou, did you—?”

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t know about it!” Bakugou raised a hand to point. “It was—mmph!”

Sero had taped Bakugou’s mouth over, and Kirishima sprang away from Midoriya to drag the accusing finger down.

“Not naming any names!” Kirishima shouted.

“I... don’t care who did it,” All Might said, looking like he did in fact care very much actually.

Jirou sank deeper into the couch.

Hagakure, good friend that she was, quickly piped up to distract from Jirou’s embarrassment. “Wait, so Midoriya really did eat one of your hairs, Sensei?”

All Might changed his shoes out for a pair of slippers and stepped over to help Midoriya off the floor. “Come along, my boy, I have something to discuss with you.”

“Okay.”

“Sensei?”

Bakugou finally managed to rip the tape off his mouth and wrenched his arm from Kirishima’s grasp. “I’m going too!”

“Wait, you haven’t answered the question!” Kaminari cried.

The trio was hurriedly exchanging their house slippers for shoes. They said nothing.

Dark Shadow peeked out from behind Tokoyami’s shoulder. Are we really going to let them escape without answering, Fumikage?

“RUN FOR IT!” Bakugou flung the door open and bolted into the night. All Might and Midoriya flailed along close behind, shoelaces still untied.

“No!” Kaminari screeched.

Kirishima and Ashido made a desperate lunge for the door—

But they were already gone.


Aizawa, doing some work in his room in the faculty dorm building, paused when he heard his phone ring. The caller ID read 1-A Dorm Phone.

His class was known to call about anything from head injuries to running out of toilet paper, so he really had no idea whether he should be concerned or not. After a split second of deliberation, he decided it would be best to approach the situation with slight wariness, and he foolishly picked up the call.

“SENSEI!” Ashido’s voice wailed from the other end of the line, and he tensed. “MIDORIYA ATE ONE OF ALL MIGHT’S HAIRS.”

“...What.”

“HE ATE ONE OF ALL MIGHT’S HAIRS AND HE WOULDN’T TELL US WHY OR WHEN IT HAPPENED. THEN HE AND ALL MIGHT AND BAKUGOU RAN OFF TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING AND THEY DIDN’T ANSWER THE QUESTION AND NOW—”

Aizawa hung up.

Notes:

Me: I try to avoid swearing in my fics to keep things relatively family friendly--
Bakugo: hey
Me: --but I will make an exception this time.

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