Chapter 1: Don’t Know Where I’m Going
Chapter Text
Albus sat at the table, head bent low over Quidditch diagrams, game statistics surrounding him, sketching out a loose plan for the practices leading up to the first match of the season.
Scorpius watched his friend with a fond smile gracing his thin lips, holding a book to his chest. Albus was so worried, always, that people would judge him against his father, or his brother, or his grandfather even, and yet here he was absorbed completely in this game that could rule his life if he let it.
“I’ll be done in a minute, Scorp.” Albus said, running a tan hand through his unruly dark hair, still focussing on the pages in front of him. “I just need to figure out this move that Finch-Fletchley wants to do. Damn chasers wanting to break their necks trying to imitate seekers every bloody minute.” Scorpius leaned over the pages, trying to discern which move Albus was fretting over. He waved his wand over the diagrams, causing them to come to life on the page. After watching the marks run out the play several times, Scorpius could see Albus’ difficulty.
“Why don’t you have Zabini shift lower before Finch-Fletchley heads left?” He suggested, and watched as Albus’ eyes widened in excitement.
“That’s it! You’re a genius, Scorp! Merlin knows why you never play, you’re the best strategist I know.” Albus raved while correcting the marks on the parchment. Scorpius rolled his eyes.
“We both know that I hate flying, and that I fully put my strategy to use when I kick your arse at chess. Pack up, come on, I have things to do and people to meet.” He ignored Albus’ protests as he flicked his wrist and sent Albus’ papers stacking and flying into his bag. Scorpius grabbed his friend’s wrist and hauled him out of the library.
Albus had a hard time whenever Scorpius ordered him about. Not because he didn’t like it, but because he thought he might like it too much. The way he carelessly threw out wordless spells that helped Albus keep his life in order, while gracefully dictating their duties for the day. That was one of the reasons, Albus surmised, why Scorpius made a brilliant prefect. His friend was so deliberately careful about every aspect of his life, and that he was a part of that made Albus glow a little bit inside. Albus loved when they would get back to their dormitory and Scorpius would place his things away, flick his wand to send Albus’ things where he liked them, and throw himself down onto his bed, finally becoming rumpled. Albus always suppressed a sigh at this, almost feeling the tension drain out of his body as he watched Scorpius relax. After fifth year, he had to stop throwing himself next to his friend, because all he wanted to do was curl into him and he was certain that would not be allowed.
Scorpius had a hard time when Albus was talking. The other boy’s eyes would become green fire, like the Floo, and his hands would go wild. His hair, already a mess, somehow became wilder, and it was times like this when he would look so open, Scorpius felt his breath taken away. It was times like this when Albus would allow for touching, when Albus touched him instead of Scorpius initiating contact, and it was glorious and burning, and he wanted to pull Albus into a kiss that would never end.
Scorpius noticed something in his fifth year, about his best friend. He noticed that no one ever really acknowledged that Albus was brilliant, and that bothered him. Sure, they said he was great on a broom, great form, just like his mother, he was an excellent chaser. But no one ever acknowledged that he was great in Potions, was excellent in Transfiguration, and decent at Charms. Scorpius was just as good, but then he got the recognition he felt he deserved, which was from his father and from Albus, and even his teachers would congratulate him (now that they weren’t certain he was the spawn of Voldemort). Albus was different from his father though, he wasn’t good at Defense, not at all in fact, ever since their experiences in fourth year, he had almost given up on the subject, and people always seemed to pick at that. And Scorpius hated it. He hated to see Albus downcast, with his eyes on the floor and his forehead scrunched up. He hated that Albus’ shoulders drew in at these comments, and all he wanted to do was hex whoever said those things. So he put on his imperialistic airs, waved his wand to pick up their things, and pulled Albus along with him. And when they were alone and no one could see if Albus started to break down, he would wrap his arms around his friend just to make sure Albus knew he was there for him.
Albus hated it when people picked on Scorpius. Not because it ever seemed to effect him in public, but because he would see his friend stiffen, his shoulders sliding back and his chin tilting up, and he became the perfect heir that Albus’ dad used to say Mr. Malfoy had been. Albus knew Scorpius hadn’t even been raised to act like that, so it would hurt even more. And Albus would take on the role of protector that Scorpius fit into so easily, and he hexed the offender with his own rendition of a time-delay, and pulled Scorpius away to comfort him. He couldn’t comfort him in the same way Scorpius did Albus, however. Because Albus was so obvious about needing comfort, and it took a long time to convince Scorpius that he did too. So he would joke, and laugh, and try to touch Scorpius, but after a while the touching hurt his heart too much, so he would transfigure their school things into other things and wait for Scorpius to shed his shell. And when he did, Albus’ heart would break because Scorpius wouldn’t even cry; he would rave, and yell and scream until he was hoarse and his eyes were rimmed with red, and only then would Albus allow himself to pull his best friend into a hug.
Albus noticed something about Scorpius in their sixth year. He noticed that although Scorpius talked a big game about girls, and especially about Rose, he never really followed through. This epiphany happened shortly after Albus found himself checking out the arses of the other boys his age, and appreciating the players in his Quidditch magazines not for their talent, but for the way their uniform trousers and jerseys fit. Albus wondered if his friend was like him.
Scorpius caught Albus looking at him one day, and wondered if Albus knew. He wasn’t exactly secretive with his glances at the other boys their age. He wasn’t even secretive with his glances at Albus. Scorpius wouldn’t be surprised if his silencing charms had failed one night and Albus had heard his breathy gasps of his name. Scorpius didn’t do that often, but he came harder and faster if he imagined Albus was doing those things to him. Scorpius was terrified to say anything because if Albus found out and wasn’t pleased, and decided he didn’t want to be his friend anymore, Scorpius didn’t know what he would do. So he stopped touching Albus as much, and wondered if he knew.
Chapter 2: With Dreams for the Future
Summary:
“I feel like we don’t just talk anymore…” He said, sighing. “This is good. I-I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”
“Ready for what, Scorp? It’s only October. We’ve got months and months!” Albus said, also staring at the ceiling.
“And then we’ll never see each other again!” Scorpius said, throwing his arms over his head. Albus sat up abruptly, looking down at Scorpius, horror etched into his face.
Chapter Text
Headmistress McGonagall announced a Halloween Ball in addition to the feast in Scorpius and Albus’ seventh year. She explained that only fourth years and older would be allowed to attend the ball, but that festivities would begin earlier for the younger years. Students were expected to wear dress robes and to learn how to dance, similarly to their parent’s Yule Ball during the Triwizard Tournament. Albus and Scorpius shuddered simultaneously. They told Professor Nott, their head of house, that they would prefer not to go, but she insisted that attendance was mandatory.
They sulked to waltzing lessons, and Albus chuckled as he watched Scorpius twirling Rose, and Lily, and Pansy Parkinson’s daughter Violet through the practice room as he himself stumbled through the steps with a very distraught Minnie Goldstein of Hufflepuff. Minnie was in Lily’s year, and even though she was only a fifth year, she was taller than Albus. Albus liked Minnie because she was quiet and friendly, and was a strange combination of her parents Millicent Goldstein nee Bullstrode and Anthony Goldstein, who were both his dad’s age. He enjoyed the lessons despite himself, but was a hopeless dancer, and Minnie never failed to point that out to him. She’d taken it upon herself to teach him because no other girls in their lesson wanted to have their feet stepped on. They laughed between themselves at the line of girls waiting to dance with Scorpius, who always looked worn out, but Albus couldn’t help the twinge in his chest and the pit in his stomach when he watched his friend holding others in his arms. Minnie stepped on his foot, and prodded him to turn away from the scene, a terrible look of pity and understanding crossing her face.
After several weeks of lessons, Albus was not much improved. Scorpius and Albus sat tucked away in a corner of the Slytherin common room revising for a Charms exam, when Albus felt his friend’s eyes on him. He looked up quickly, catching Scorpius’ eyes. Albus raised an eyebrow in inquiry. “You’re a bad dancer.” Scorpius said, flushing at his bluntness.
“Gee, thanks, Scorp.” Albus rolled his eyes in response. His friend shook his head.
“I didn’t mean to say it that way, it’s just McGonagall seems pretty adamant that we know how to dance properly, and you really don’t, Al.” Albus was not impressed with this correction.
“I’m well aware. I’m trying my best. Minnie and I have been meeting to do extra lessons, but I just can’t get the steps right. Lily offered to help too, but she kicked me in the shin after the fifth time I stepped on her feet and told me to screw a skrewt.” Albus snapped, burying his face back in his book. He was slightly embarrassed about not being able to dance, especially since it seemed to come so easily to everyone else. He heard Scorpius sigh and shift in front of him, a dog-eared copy of his Charms book coming in to view. Albus loved that Scorpius didn’t seem to care about the state of his books.
“Al, look at me.” Scorpius demanded. Albus lifted his head and looked over the other boy’s shoulder. “Okay, be that way. I was just going to offer to help you out if you wanted. Don’t know why it didn’t occur to me earlier, but after watching you struggle the other day, I thought it couldn’t hurt.” Albus snapped his eyes to Scorpius. Hazel met silver-blue in a stare. A million thoughts flashed through Albus’ mind, and his heart beat with each one. He didn’t want to be that close to Scorpius, holding each other close in a dancer’s embrace, but at the same time, it would be an innocent way to get exactly what he wanted, which was to be in the place of all those girls from their dance lesson. He nodded, trying not to look too eager. Scorpius smirked and returned to his notes.
The next day after lessons, Scorpius pulled Albus to the room they’d been using for dance lessons. He waved his wand at the old gramophone McGonagall had been using for probably forever and waited for the crackly old waltz to begin. Albus was standing awkwardly in the center of the room, one hand gasping the bicep of his other arm, biting his lip. Scorpius’ heart skipped several beats. He stepped toward his friend, and held out his arms. Albus blushed as he realized Scorpius expected him to follow. “You want me to be the girl?” Albus asked. Scorpius rolled his eyes.
“No you poor excuse of a Slytherin, I want you to pay attention to how I lead, ergo you will be following. That’s not being a ‘girl’. That’s dancing.” Scorpius could feel himself blushing as well, and moved his arms again to encourage Albus to take position. He watched Albus’ throat bob as he placed his right hand into Scorpius’ left, and his other hand on Scorpius’ shoulder. Scorpius reminded himself to breathe. “Okay, once the music starts the refrain over, we’ll start. Just follow my lead, and pay attention to where my feet go.” Albus nodded, and looked down. “You can look for now, but later you’ll just have to feel.” Scorpius blushed horribly when he saw Albus’ eyes widen. They began to dance.
Albus tried not to shiver at the feel of Scorpius’ strong arms around him. For a boy who did almost no physical activity, he was surprisingly solid. They were moving to the rhythm and moving in a sort of box-shape. Albus felt himself relaxing into the dance as he felt himself getting the hang of the steps. He looked up at Scorpius, who was looking down at him, a strange look in his eyes and his jaw clenched while a smile tugged at his lips. Albus furrowed his brows and fought down a chuckle. “Are you that scared that I’ll step on your feet, Scorp? I haven’t yet.” Albus said with a bravado he’d normally attribute to James. Scorpius let himself smile.
“Not quite, Al. Not quite.” He said, quietly. He pulled Albus a hair closer, and felt the other boy’s breath hitch. “Okay, now you can’t look at our feet.” Scorpius said, meeting his friend’s eyes and hoping Albus couldn’t see how much Scorpius wanted to hold him even closer. Albus swallowed hard.
“Who’re you going to ask to the ball?” He blurted out, blushing again. He didn’t know why this question embarrassed him. He and Scorpius had been friends for years, had gone through terribly difficult things together, told each other everything—almost everything. This was the type of thing best friends talked about.
“Oh, I don’t know. Father suggested I ask Violet, since she’s only a fourth year. He said Aunt Pansy would feel better about her going if she was with me.” Scorpius shrugged, and tightened his grip on Albus’ waist. Albus swallowed again and nodded. “What about you? Didn’t you have your eyes on that Gryffindor, the sixth year? What was her name…the Patil girl?” Scorpius teased. Albus had told him that he had a crush on Yvette Patil, the daughter of two of his dad’s classmates Parvati and Lavender. She was pretty, and sweet, although very loud. She was the only girl he could think of when Scorpius was talking about Rose one day and asked who Albus liked. Albus chuckled and shook his head.
“I think I’ll ask Minnie if she’ll go with me, since she’s been so good about trying to teach me. She’s nice, good skin.” Scorpius looked at Albus like he’d grown a second head.
“Good skin? Is that how you decide if you like people?” Laughter laced his words.
“No!” Albus laughed, clutching on to Scorpius so he wouldn’t fall backwards. They were still dancing somehow, Scorpius’ gracefulness canceling out Albus’ clumsiness. “I just meant that she was pretty, in her own way. Not really my type, but she’s funny and kind and we’d have a good time.” Albus added once he’d regained his composure.
“We haven’t talked about girls in a while.” Scorpius said, adjusting his grip on Albus. “Not since…” He trailed off trying to remember.
“Fifth year, I think. After you and Rose went on a couple dates.” Albus said, omitting that it was actually after he’d started admiring boy’s bodies in the Quidditch locker rooms. Scorpius laughed again.
“Oh yeah, that went so well. I can’t believe I thought I was in love with your cousin, with Rose of all people.” He chuckled. “She’s a great friend, but not the one for me.” They went on dancing for some time before Scorpius stopped them. “Okay, we can switch and you could try leading for a bit or we can try to add in turns.”
“Let’s do turns first, and then I’ll try to do it all at once.” Albus suggested, just wanting to stay in the warm, guiding circle of Scorpius’ arms for a bit more. They began again, and each turn felt a bit like flying; an exhilarating swoop of his stomach while elation bubbled in his chest, especially when Scorpius pulled him back after each turn. He was caught against a strong chest, lead with sure steps, and could let himself hope that the fire burning in his eyes was matched by that in his friend’s. They went on, with more stumbles and corrections than the original time, and were interrupted when Scorpius’ stomach grumbled. They both chuckled, and Albus did a Tempus to check the time.
“Damn, we’ve missed dinner.” He said. Scorpius shrugged, seeming reluctant to step away.
“We can stop by the kitchens on our way back to the dorm.” He suggested. They gathered their bags and headed to see the house elves. After a quick meal of the leftovers in the kitchens, the boys made their way back to the Slytherin dormitories. Albus found himself walking closer to his friend than he’d let himself be in a long time, and taking comfort in his presence.
Later, Albus was stretched across Scorpius’ bed as the other boy quizzed him on the ingredients for common NEWT potions. They’d been at it for at least two hours, and it had to be approaching midnight. He’d heard the other three boys going to bed ages ago, but they were cocooned in several silencing and muffling spells, giving them a virtually private space.
“Merlin, I’m knackered.” Albus said, dropping an arm over his eyes, and knocking the parchment out of Scorpius’ hands. His friend chuckled and dropped to his stomach beside him. Albus removed his arm and turned his head to meet Scorpius’ eyes. “I don’t want to revise anymore. I’ve decided to bugger off from society, give up my dream of becoming a professor, and adopt fifty cats to be a hermit.” Scorpius ogled him for a moment before bursting into laughter, rolling on his back and clutching his stomach. Albus joined him, happy to see his friend let go. When they quieted down, Albus deadpanned, “I’m not joking.” While looking Scorpius straight in the face. Scorpius grinned.
“I’ll join you. The wizarding world does not need another Unspeakable. I will renounce my duties as a Malfoy heir, and adopt an additional fifty cats.” He said, reaching over to push Albus’ shoulder.
“I’d like the company.” Albus grinned. Scorpius turned his face away, focusing on the dust motes twirling through the air.
“I feel like we don’t just talk anymore…” He said, sighing. “This is good. I-I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”
“Ready for what, Scorp? It’s only October. We’ve got months and months!” Albus said, also staring at the ceiling.
“And then we’ll never see each other again!” Scorpius said, throwing his arms over his head. Albus sat up abruptly, looking down at Scorpius, horror etched into his face.
“What do you mean? Of course we will! I don’t know what I would do without you! You’re the only reason I even know where my things are!” Albus cried.
“I know I am.” Scorpius sighed. “But, look, Albus, we’re going to be doing different things. I-I’m going to be training at the ministry, and you’re going to be Merlin knows where studying Morgana knows what, for as long as it takes.” Albus frowned.
“We both know I don’t want to do that.”
“Yeah, but you’re going to anyhow.” Scorpius frowned. “I think I’m ready to sleep now, Albus. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Albus summoned his things and went to his bed. He drew his curtains, and wrapped his arms around his body, trying to hold himself together when it felt like everything was falling apart. And they had had such a good time dancing.
Scorpius laid on his back, and felt hot tears sliding down his face. It had been a wonderful day, but he knew their good days were coming to an end.
Lily caught up with Albus the next day. “Hello, Albus.” She said, and after a minute of no response, she deepened her voice, “Hello, Lily. What fine weather we’re having, how are you?” Still no response, “I’m great, Alby, how are you?” Albus hitched his bag higher on his shoulder and kept walking. Lily grabbed his arm and dragged him into an empty classroom. “Okay, big brother, what crawled up your arse and died?” She finally caught sight of his face and softened. He looked wretched. “Albus, are you okay?” He shook his head. Lily grabbed his hand and forced him to meet her eyes. Hazel eyes met brown, and Albus almost broke down. She noticed tears forming and pulled him into a hug. “Oh, Al, what’s up?”
“You look so much like Mum.” He said, hugging her tight.
“You’re upset because I look like Mum?” She asked, patting his back. She felt him shake his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this.” She thought for a moment, then added, “Well actually probably when Dad wouldn’t let you hang out with Scorpius…” She pushed her brother away and looked at him with narrowed eyes. “Is Dad not letting you see Scorpius again?” Albus shook his head, but continued looking distraught.
“Scorpius isn’t letting me see Scorpius, actually.” Lily straightened. That did not sound like Scorpius, he always wanted to be around Al. “We had a bit of a row yesterday. It came out of nowhere too, and everything had been going so well.” Lily forced her brother to tell her the full story.
“I think you need to talk to him.” She said, and patted his back again. They parted ways, Albus feeling slightly relieved, and Lily feeling more burdened.
Albus didn’t see Scorpius for three more days, and the ball was fast approaching. The extra lessons with Minnie had shown some improvement, but Albus was now forgetting the steps to lead instead of follow. Minnie teased him about this. Albus asked her to the ball and she accepted, making sure he knew it was only as friends to which he readily agreed, relieved. It seemed Violet had found herself a real date, and Lily had asked Scorpius. Albus tried not to feel betrayed, but he did not succeed. The night of the ball, Albus was adjusting his dress robes and trying to find his good shoes, while cursing himself for not knowing where they were kept. He heard footsteps behind him, but ignored them until heard an empty pair of shoes hitting the floor. He stood up quickly, turning around to face Scorpius Malfoy.
“Honestly, Potter, one would think you weren’t a wizard with your attitude.” He said, turning away from his friend. Albus choked back tears at his cold voice.
“Potter?” Albus said, willing his voice not to sound as small as he felt. He watched Scorpius stiffen. “That’s—I haven’t seen you in a week, Scorpius! What happened? Everything was fine, everything was brilliant, and now you won’t even look at me!” Albus exploded, taking large steps across the room toward Scorpius. The other boy did not turn to look at him.
“Yes, well, I’m trying to give you space, Albus.”
“I don’t want space, Scorp. I never wanted space.” Albus’ voice sounded broken.
“Maybe I do.” Scorpius said, and left the room, feeling like his heart was stuck outside him. Albus stumbled into the post of a bed, and grabbed it to hold himself up. He felt like he’d just been punched in the gut. Blinking hard, he turned to his shoes and slipped them on. He’d promised Minnie fun, and he was going to try to give her fun, even if it broke him.
Before he left, he penned a quick owl to Scorpius’ father, as he had taken to doing whenever he felt something serious was going on with his friend. He figured Mr. Malfoy appreciated it since he couldn’t be there physically for his son.
Mr. Malfoy,
I don’t really know what’s been going on with Scorpius for the past week as he won’t talk to me, but I thought you should know that he seems a bit upset. In case you don’t hear from him, he is fine physically, and as far as I know no one has said anything harmful to him. If you have heard anything from him about me, and know what I might have done to make it so he won’t even be in the same room as me aside from lessons, an update would be much appreciated. I hope you are doing well.
Best wishes,
Albus Severus Potter
Albus tried not to let his hurt and resentment through, but he knew he’d failed. He sent the letter anyway. He met Minnie in the entrance hall, and they entered the Great hall together to sit at the Hufflepuff table. Albus did not look around to find Scorpius and Lily, but it was very difficult. Minnie, to her credit did not say anything about his friend and sister, and continued to be her upbeat and positive self, talking about her younger sister who had just learned to walk, and her brother who was in Romania studying dragons.
Scorpius felt like he was in a week designed to be his own personal hell. He didn’t know why he’d decided to do it, but for some reason he thought it would hurt a lot less to cut himself off from Albus now than in May when time and distance would inevitably end their friendship without his consent. He’d left the room whenever Albus entered except for lessons, refused to make eye contact, and felt his heart shattering at every moment away from his best friend. His work had suffered, his sleep had suffered, and Scorpius knew that both he and Albus had suffered. He agreed to go to the ball with Lily only because he knew that she would never like him in a boyfriend capacity, and because she and Albus had the same nose and the same smile, and being in her presence made him feel a little less shitty.
On the night of the ball he had entered the dormitory to see a ruffled Albus searching high and low for his shoes. Scorpius knew it was his shoes because they were the one thing Albus never remembered to summon. After he left the dormitory, breathing shallow and heart in his throat, Scorpius ran and ran until his found a hidden alcove to hide inside. He dried his eyes, smoothed his hair and robes, and took several deep breaths before going in search of Lily. They ate at the Gryffindor table, with Rose and her date, Hugo and his. He had an eye on Albus the entire time, and was really trying very hard to have a good time.
Following the feast, several teachers escorted the younger students to their dormitories, while the older students watched as the tables were moved and transfigured, and a dance floor appeared in the hall. Music started, and several couples took to the floor immediately. Lily let a couple songs go by, watching the dancing and making comments to try to get Scorpius to laugh, before pulling him up to dance. The songs were not classic waltzes, but the rhythm was similar and more fun, so it was easy to fall into step together. They moved and twirled, and eventually Lily cleared her throat.
“I don’t really appreciate what you’ve done to my brother this week.” She said, her eyes averted, and a smile firmly in place, though her eyes were hard.
“What?” Scorpius breathed, his voice choked.
“I mean, it’s not very fair to string him along, and play at being his friend, when you’re going to break his heart anyway.” She said, staring him down.
“I-I’m not stringing him on. I’ve never only played at being his friend. Albus means everything to me.” Scorpius said, tears stinging his eyes. Lily’s gaze softened only slightly.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“I’m cutting him off to protect us both.” Lily looked confused.
“I don’t see how it’s protecting him to hurt him like this. I really don’t see how it’s protecting you when you’re obviously hurting too.”
“No, you wouldn’t see, would you?” Scorpius sighed, and Lily let it drop, having said her piece. They extracted themselves after the song, and Scorpius sat, eyes trained on Albus, while Lily caught sight of a tall Hufflepuff boy from the year above her and ran over to talk Quidditch with him.
On the other side of the hall, Albus and Minnie were struggling to dance properly. Albus had caught sight of Scorpius and now couldn’t quite avert his eyes. Lily was smiling, and they seemed to be chatting amiably. Albus couldn’t understand how he could be in so much pain while Scorpius was having fun. Minnie cleared her throat, sounding scarily like her namesake, the Headmistress, and Albus turned to her with wide eyes.
“When you’re about done maiming my feet with the bricks attached to the end of your legs, I’d love it if you’d pay attention.” She said this with a hard voice, but her eyes were soft, so Albus knew that she was at least partially teasing.
“Sorry, Min.” Albus said, turning fully back to her. “How’re your OWL classes going?” He asked. She gave him a small grin, and strong armed him back into position.
“Quite well, Albus. Divination isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I will be receiving an Outstanding. In that subject and all the others I’m taking.” Albus chuckled. Although Minnie was undeniably a Hufflepuff, she had so many characteristics of both Slytherin and Ravenclaw that she’d inherited from her parents. “How are your NEWTs?” She asked him in return. Albus frowned.
“They were going fine, I think. Now I’m not sure what I want to do with them, though. I was going to travel, and study, get a couple wizarding degrees, maybe invent something, come back here and teach for a while, but I don’t know if that’s what I want anymore.” He tried to look back at Scorpius, but Minnie forced him to stay present. She was looking at him in firm contemplation.
“That’s difficult.” She nodded. “I’m sorry.” Albus shrugged. They sat down at the end of the song. And sat in silence for a minute or two.
“Any boys catching your fancy?” Albus asked, nodding toward the dance floor where couples twirled and swirled around each other. Minnie smirked, cocking her head at him.
“Not really interested in boys at the moment.” She said. Albus nodded.
“Too focused on your studies. I get that.” Minnie giggled.
“No, you oaf. I’m very interested in girls at the moment.” Albus turned pink and Minnie was practically guffawing. “What about you, any girls ‘catching your fancy?’” Albus turned impossibly pinker. He shook his head.
“Not girls, really. No.” Minnie beamed.
“I knew it.” Albus’ eyes widened.
“Knew what?” He whispered.
“Knew you were gay.” She whispered back.
“I am not.” Minnie glared at him. “Okay. Maybe a little bit. But just barely.” She rolled her eyes.
“Whatever, Albus. I think you’d be a lot happier if you could be honest with yourself. And your family, and your friends.” She stressed the last word, before turning to a girl on her left and asking her to dance. The girl, a small Ravenclaw fifth year agreed happily, and the two took to the floor together.
Albus was lost in his thoughts, so he didn’t notice Scorpius get up, roll his shoulders, and make his way across the hall. He didn’t notice until a pressed pair of slate grey slacks stood before him, and he followed the trim body up to the face of his best friend. Two spots of pink sat high on his cheeks, and his eyes shone, making him look a bit feverish. Albus bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows. Scorpius swallowed hard.
“Al-bus…I just wanted to apologize for being a shitty friend this week. Can you ever forgive me?” Scorpius asked, voice pained. Albus nodded so hard he felt like his head might fall off his shoulders.
“Yes, yes, yes! But only if you promise never to do anything so utterly imbecilic again.” Scorpius chuckled.
“I promise. Now would you, Albus Severus Potter, do me, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, the honor of accompanying me on the dance floor?” Albus blushed.
“You want to dance with me here, in front of all these people?” He asked. Scorpius nodded.
“Minnie and her friend are doing it.”
“But they’re both girls, Scorp!” Scorpius smiled at the familiar use of his nickname.
“It’s not a boy or a girl thing, Albus. It’s dancing.” He said, grabbing his friends hand, and letting warmth fill him at the touch. He pulled Albus with him onto the floor, right hand solid on the slight curve of his friend’s waist, holding him closer to him even than when they were practicing. His heart was racing, and the smell and feel of Albus so close to him was overwhelming. Albus was willing himself to breathe, but he couldn’t quite do anything with Scorpius pressed against him, his breath tickling Albus’ hairline, his hand on his waist. They were moving, but Albus’ brain was still short-circuiting.
“Al, you’ve got to breathe. Stop thinking.” Scorpius whispered, sending him out in a twirl that came far to easily for Albus’ taste.
“What’re you doing, Scorp?” Albus asked, chancing a glance up at his friend. They were almost nose to nose, and Albus’ breath hitched.
“I’m dancing with my best friend, Al, what does it look like?” Scorpius grinned at him, and Albus felt his hope flutter and die in his chest. His fingers and toes ached with the perceived rejection. He grimaced in response. At the end of the song, he took a quick step back.
“I’ve got to go. Thanks, um…thanks for apologizing.” He said, looking at the floor. He turned on his heel and all but ran from the Great hall. He didn’t see the wounded look on Scorpius’ face. He’s figured it out, Scorpius thought, He’s figured it out and now he can’t wait to get away from me. He frowned, and turned to get a drink. Lily and Minnie stood in his way, arms crossed.
“What do you think you’re doing?” They asked. Scorpius rolled his eyes, praying to Merlin, and anyone that was listening for tears not to fall.
“I’m getting a drink, and hoping someone spiked it.” Scorpius said. The girls each grabbed an arm and started pulling him to the exit.
“Oh no you don’t.” Lily said, teeth gritted.
“You’re getting out there and you’re going to find him and make him understand.” Minnie demanded, as they pushed him out the door.
“Go on, we’re not letting you back in.” Violet commented from her spot lounging against the door frame. Scorpius groaned and left, trying to figure out where Albus could have gone. On a whim he headed to the practice room.
Albus found himself in the room where he and Scorpius had danced for the first time. He choked out a sob, and curled around himself on the window ledge, letting his hurt out. He knew that Scorpius couldn’t feel the same way as him, knew that hope could only ever end in hurt, but he’d let it in anyway. And now it had come back to bite him. He heard a door creak, but refused to look up. “Go away.” He sobbed.
“Albus?” Scorpius’ voice sounded so sad, and so small. For the record, the last thing Scorpius expected was to find his friend sobbing his heart out in this room. Ranting and raving, confused shouts, yes, but not crying. “Al, what’s wrong?” He walked over and placed his hand on his friend’s neck. Against his better judgement, Albus turned into the touch, and embraced Scorpius. “Albus, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?” He asked.
“I don’t know, Scorpius, maybe it’s you.” Albus’ voice broke, and Scorpius held him tighter.
“What’s me? What did I do?”
“Everything. Nothing.”
“As enlightening as that was, I just have to make sure of something. And I’d appreciate it if you’d look at me.” Scorpius was shaking. Albus wiped his face on the sleeve of his robes, and looked into the shining eyes of his friend. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I know what’s wrong with me and I really need to clear the air.” His voice was shaking, and he had to swallow a couple times before he could continue. Albus kept watching, hiccuping on every other breath from crying. “I, um, noticed something a while ago, and it’s been bugging me.” Albus’ eyes went wide and he tried to back away, but Scorpius held tight. “Please don’t. You’ll only make it worse.” Scorpius took a breath. He looked at Albus. “Gods you’re amazing.” He breathed. Albus didn’t trust his ears. “I don’t really know how to say it, Merlin this is hard. Albus, I love you.” There, he’d said it. Albus furrowed his eyebrows.
“I love you too, Scorp.” Albus had been saying it for years, knowing that Scorpius would only understand and reciprocate as a friend. Scorpius had been saying it for years too.
“Albus, I’m gay.” Albus stopped thinking. He just stared at Scorpius.
“No you’re not.” He said. Scorpius frowned.
“Of course I am. I thought that’s why you were in here crying.”
“You’ve got dung bombs for brains. I was crying because you’re not gay!”
“But…I am gay? And I love you?”
“You are gay. And you love me.” Albus stated. Scorpius nodded. Albus pushed his friend away, knocking him to the ground. “How dare you say those things to me? How dare you ignore me for an entire week? An entire week, Scorpius! How dare you dance with all those pretty girls, and ignore me, and sweep me up into your tidy way of life, and treat me so kindly, and say you love me when you have never meant it in the same way that I do! How dare you.” Albus seethed. Scorpius looked up at him, stunned. “I have always loved you. And I have always told you so.”
“How dare I? How in Merlin’s left tit was I supposed to know that, Albus? For the past two years you’ve been pushing me farther and farther away, and I thought it was because you knew about me and you didn’t accept it! And I was terrified that we would get our NEWTs and graduate, and you’d go off on your trips and I’d never see you again, and it broke me, Albus. And I had to do it to protect us. I can’t live without you, but I couldn’t keep letting you push me away. I need you, Al.”
Albus threw himself at Scorpius, who caught him and held him tight. Their mouths crashed together, and both boys groaned at the roughly nipped lips and the clashed teeth. They kissed through the frustrated tears, tongues tangling, hands grasping. Albus’ heart soared as he held the man he loved in a way he never thought he’d be able too, hand stroking through his soft blonde hair, hearing the breathy moans Scorpius made between kisses. Scorpius could not believe he was finally kissing his best friend. He cradled the back of Albus’ neck, arm firmly curled around his waist, and kissed and licked his way through Albus’ mouth until he knew it completely. When they finally broke apart, they kept holding on to each other. Albus was straddling Scorpius, their crotches too close for comfort. Scorpius kissed all over Albus’ face and neck until he was squirming atop him. Eventually they disentangled and headed back to the dormitory. They knew they were too much of a mess to return to the ball.
The boys quickly changed into their pyjamas and curled together in Scorpius’ bed. Scorpius stroked the hair back from Albus’ face, as Albus rested his head on Scorpius’ chest. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” Albus said, curling his arm tighter around Scorpius’ waist. Scorpius hummed in agreement.
“What does this make us? More than friends?” Scorpius asked. Albus chuckled.
“I think we’ve always been more than friends, Scorp. But we can be whatever you think we should be.” They were interrupted by an owl tapping at the window. It was Scorpius’ dad’s, and he flung himself across the room to retrieve it. Thinking the worst. It read,
Dear Scorpius, and Mr. A. Potter,
I have received correspondence from acquaintances of mine, and presume the tension between the two of you has been resolved for the time being. Son, I do hope that you cease to cut off your friends in the future, especially Mr. Potter. Mr. Potter, as much as I appreciate your updates on my son, do take this as a lesson to speak first and ask for help later, especially in circumstances of the heart. Take care of each other as I know you are apt to do.
Blessings,
Father
Mr. Malfoy
Father
“You owled my father?” Scorpius asked, at the same time Albus asked,
“Who does he mean are his acquaintances?” They both blushed. Albus nodded. “I was worried about you, and angry.” Scorpius kissed his cheek.
“I think Father was in cahoots with Lily, Minnie, and Violet.”
“Minnie and Lils were conspiring against me?” Albus shrieked. Scorpius chuckled.
“I think they were conspiring for us, Love.” He said.
“You just called me ‘Love.’” Albus said, shocked. Scorpius nodded.
“I do love you.” Albus grinned and threw his arms around Scorpius’ neck.
“I love you too.” He said. The boys fell back into bed laughing. They kissed each other hard, baring skin, dropping robes to the floor. The drapes were drawn around them in case roommates came back. They lay together, just their trousers keeping them from being completely naked, and held each other close.
“I’m not leaving.” Albus said, pressing soft kisses behind Scorpius’ ear because he mewled like a kitten each time.
“I know, Albus. We have months and months together.” Scorpius said, tilting his head to give Albus more access to his neck.
“No, Scorp. I mean, I’m going to apply to work at Ollivander’s. I’ll have to go away to study different forms of wand lore, but it should only be for very short periods, and I could time it for when you’re away with training. I’ve always been interested in wands, and this way I’ll get to travel, and learn, and work with potions and charms, and still be here if we want to keep being…this.” Albus admitted, hope tinging his voice. Scorpius rolled over so their chests were flush. His eyes shone with wonder and disbelief.
“You mean that? You’re—Merlin Albus really?” Albus nodded and Scorpius cheered.
“We get to stay together!” He shouted, pulling Albus closer against him. They both smiled ear to ear.
“We get to stay together.” Albus agreed. “Do you think our families will be okay with this?” Albus asked, pressing his face against Scorpius’ shoulder.
“Do you care? My dad will be fine as long as we’re happy. Your family will probably throw a fit for five minutes and then throw a party for five years.” Albus laughed in agreement.
Chapter 3: Pride in My Heart
Summary:
Wrapping things up in a pretty bow.
Chapter Text
The months flew by in a rush of classes, revising, essays, and kissing. Christmas holidays were split between Albus’ family and Scorpius’ as always, only this time with more explaining. Molly gave Scorpius a sweater, which made him laugh and Albus cry and both of them hug her, because if Molly accepted that they were more than friends, no one else had a choice.
Slytherin did not win the Quidditch cup, much to Albus’ chagrin. They’d worked endlessly, polishing their plays and trying new moves that his mum would owl to him, but Hufflepuff’s team was simply more cohesive that year. It was a close match, and although the team was upset with the loss, they were proud of the work they’d put in and that they came in second. Albus shook Matilda McMillan’s hand, congratulating her on the win, and was promptly engulfed by Scorpius, Lily, Draco Malfoy, and his parents.
Finally, their graduation day came. James was coming, to Albus’ surprise all the way from America where he was visiting friends. Teddy and Victoire Flooed in with their baby daughter Nymphadora Fleur, taking after Harry and Ginny’s propensity to name children after grandparents, and Teddy’s families tradition of giving children awfully cumbersome names. Albus’ parents were there, sitting happily with Draco, Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron, and all the other Weasleys who had come to cheer the three graduates. Draco was also joined by Pansy, Blaise Zabini and his wife, and Minnie’s parents Millicent and Anthony. Minnie never failed to remind Albus and Scorpius that they would both still be miserable if it weren’t for her.
Owls swooped in, dropping letters containing their NEWT scores and job offers into their hands. Headmistress McGonagall declared them all Hogwarts graduates, and they were hustled out to the lake, into boats which would take them to Hogsmeade. Scorpius and Albus held hands through the ceremony, boat ride, and walk to the Three Broomsticks to meet their families. They hadn’t opened their envelopes as they had wanted to be with everyone to do so. Draco hugged his son, Harry and Ginny theirs, and Ron and Hermione their daughter. Dora was dropped into Albus’ waiting arms as Teddy and James both clapped him on the back and Victoire kissed his cheek. Rose wrestled a space beside him and Scorpius and grinned at the baby, but not offering to hold her herself. The parents and older cousins and siblings looked on expectantly, waiting for the letters to be opened. James retrieved his goddaughter for the grand reveal, as she did not like loud noises.
Rose went first, tearing open the envelope and taking out the pages with shaking hands. “Six Outstandings, in Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Charms, Muggle and Pureblood studies, Potions, and Defense. Exceeds Expectations in Herbology and Astronomy.” Rose let out a relieved sigh. Her parents beamed at her. “And I’ve been accepted as a designer and developer at Weasley’s Wizard Weezes in Cairo.” Hermione looked shocked, but proud all the same.
“Never expected that of you, Rosie.” Ginny said, keeping an eye on her brother who looked terrified at the thought of his daughter being so far away. “Thought you’d go to the ministry.”
“No, never was my thing. I’ll be back in two years though. Uncle George and Aunt Angelina said that I just need to be trained at their post out there…Don’t know why, but I think it’ll be fun. The business is getting bigger and we can’t expect Freddie or Roxanne to run it someday. Neither of them are into the designing and developing side, and I’m really good at it.” Rose looked at her parents, and was met with two happy faces.
“We’ll always be proud of you Rose, and we’ll always be here when you’re ready to come home.” Ron said, and grabbed his daughter in a fierce hug. Albus was next. He gulped, and looked at his Dad’s pensive face.
“Outstandings in Charms, Potions, Transfiguration, and Care of Magical Creatures. Exceeds Expectations in Herbology. Acceptable in Defense.” He said, meeting his dad’s eyes with determination. Harry was grinning at his son; he nodded. Scorpius ran his hand up and down his back, attempting to soothe him. “And I’ve been accepted as an apprentice for Ollivander.” He jumped into the air, throwing his arms around Scorpius, who clutched him back. They kissed briefly, before the mood turned somber once more.
Scorpius took a deep breath, and looked at the parchment. He blinked, shook his head, and looked again. Albus frowned, and nudged his boyfriend. Scorpius stood up, then looked at the crowd, and back to his letter. “Scorp, is something wrong?” Albus asked. Scorpius shook his head, and cleared his throat.
“I just think they messed up somehow. It…It says that I have Eight Outstandings.” He looked at Rose, then at Draco, Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny. “But even Rose doesn’t have eight. It has to be a mistake. An O in all my classes? That’s practically unheard of!” Hermione shook her head, a smirk gracing her features. She stood up, producing a roll of parchment, and handed it to Scorpius.
“Not a mistake, Scorpius. But almost unprecedented.” She said. “As Minister, I am privy to such information.” Draco looked at her in shock while the rest regarded her with bemusement.
“You didn’t think to inform me that my own son—“
“Not at liberty to disclose such information, Draco. I’m sure you understand.” She smiled at him.
“It’s congratulations from the Ministry. I can’t believe this. An Outstanding in Transfigurations, Potions, Charms, Herbology, Defense, Alchemy, Ancient Runes, and Arithmancy? This is mad. I must be mad.” Albus took Scorpius’ hands away from his hair and caught his eye. He was grinning. “I’m mad, right?” Albus shook his head.
“Go on then, read the rest why don’t you?” He urged, wanting to know what the rest of the letters said.
“Alright. So the first one is an offer to join the Aurors, no thank you, Mr. Granger-Weasley. The second offer is from…The Department of Mysteries! Al, they said yes!” Albus rolled his eyes, because of course they said yes. “They asked me to join first division!” He cheered.
“Scorpius, I believe there are two more offers there.” Hermione interjected. Scorpius sobered.
“But I already got accepted where I wanted…” With a sharp look from his father, he read the next two offers. “The third is from St. Mungo’s research division. They said with such high marks in all my subjects, and an ambition for the unknown, they wanted to extend an offer to join a team in researching magical diseases.” Scorpius looked up, “Like the one that took…” He met his father’s eyes and could tell he was keeping back tears as badly as Scorpius was. Albus held out the last letter. “Okay, the last one is from the Ministry again.” Scorpius stopped to wipe his eyes. “From…you, Mrs. Granger-Weasley?” Hermione nodded. “You want me to work for you?” She nodded again. “I, oh this is a wonderful offer, but it doesn’t sound like it’s for me. Thank you, though.” Hermione smiled.
“It would have been wonderful to be able to train you to be able to run for Minister yourself someday, but I think you will be better suited to one of the two paths before you.”
Later that night, Albus and Scorpius settled into their room above the Hog’s Head. It wasn’t as dingy as they heard it had been when the brother of Albus’ namesake ran it. Dean and Seamus were rowdy, but tidy, and ran a good pub. They also gave discounts to Hogwarts Alums on graduation night. They’d hung their robes over a chair, and were sitting on the bed with Scorpius’ letters between them. Albus held Scorpius’ hands in his, and was smoothing his thumb over the tops, trying to keep his boyfriend calm.
“I’ve wanted to be an Unspeakable all my life, Al. But, I never thought of doing something like this. To be able to understand what happened to Mum…to be able to prevent someone else from going through the same thing, or a similar thing even! That would be amazing!” Scorpius said.
“Scorp, maybe you should meet with both jobs and ask them what everything would be like. Make a decision then. Tonight, we should celebrate.” Albus grinned like a wolf at his boyfriend. Scorpius flicked his wrist, and sent the remaining papers marching to the bureau across the room. He had been practicing wandless and wordless magic for the past two years, and had just gotten the hang of a couple spells that he used often. Albus loved it. The pair locked in a passionate, and very naked, embrace, Scorpius pinning Albus to the bed. They kissed, and touched, and made love for the first time that night.
Later, Scorpius would decide to join the St. Mungo’s magical disease research team. Albus would be very happy apprenticing under Ollivander, learning the magic of wands and wand lore, creating his own wands, developing his own style, and eventually taking over for the ancient man when he passed on. They would marry ten years to the day after they first kissed, on Halloween, forever changing the way Albus’ father would see the holiday yet again.
Five years later, they would go to Lily to ask her if she would carry a child for them, and were overjoyed when she agreed. She complained through the whole pregnancy, but the day her niece was born was her favorite day of the year. They named her Luna, taking Lily’s middle name, and Astoria, taking Scorpius’ mother’s, and her surname was Malfoy-Potter. Luna Astoria was a beautiful combination of Albus’ family and Scorpius. She had auburn hair like Lily, silver-blue eyes like Scorpius, Albus’ nose and Albus’ smile. Lily was of course made Luna’s godmother, and so was Minnie, because she never did stop reminding them that they were only together because of her.
Not everything was happy. Scorpius and Albus would fight. They would try too hard to protect the other, and not try hard enough at communicating. Sometimes Draco would intervene and knock them upside the head. Sometimes it was Minnie, who would threaten to take her goddaughter to a more suitable environment if the two didn’t get their heads out of their respective arses. But mostly, things were happy, and they were very glad that they were together.
SophieTheJediKnight on Chapter 3 Sat 22 Oct 2022 01:56PM UTC
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