Work Text:
Tony’s never been the world's cheeriest ray of sunshine, but he’s not some doom and gloom the end of the world is nigh pessimist. So when he says things are bad, things are really bad.
“No way we all get through this,” he tells Steve wearily.
“I’ve got no plans tomorrow night,” is Steve’s witty rejoinder. As he speaks, his eyes flick up to Tony’s, and the little smile on his lips is filled with mischief.
Perhaps Tony’s mind is going a little (what with impending doom and that whole nasty business with his newest creation bringing about the end of civilization as they knew it) because he could swear there was also a little something of the ‘come hither’ variety in Steve’s smirk and that damned eye flick.
Whatever it is, it’s a real mood-lifter.
Tony decides to throw caution to the wind. It’s the end of the world and all. This is probably his last night on earth; time to live a little. Flirting with Steve has always been on his list of top ten things to do before he died anyway, just above having a fantastic threesome with a pair of hot Scandinavian twins.
What can he say? He has a thing for blondes.
“That a promise?” he says and winks brazenly at Steve.
Maybe it’s the whole imminent death thing, or maybe it’s just Tony’s sheer sexual magnetism, but Steve’s lips curl into a little smile. His eyes are bright with playful mirth as he says, “If we survive this, come find me tomorrow night.” He gives Tony a sly, sidelong look, complete with slightly lowered lashes. "You know where my place is."
Now that’s what Tony calls incentive.
Smirking, he says, “It’s a date.”
In the background, Bruce groans. “Can you guys stop with the flirting? The world’s not going to save itself. I hate to tell you this, but Ultron’s not gonna be defeated by the power of your incredible sexual chemistry and flirty one-liners.”
“We’ll see about that,” says Tony. Lips pursed, he strokes his goatee, mock-thoughtful. “Do you think Ultron’s got a daddy kink? Maybe we can work with that.”
Sure, it’s still the end of the world. But damn is it awesome whenever Tony can get Dr Bruce Banner, world-renowned scientist and master of stoicism, to do something as gloriously undignified as facepalm.
---
Post-Credits Scene
Tomorrow Night, Steve’s Apartment
(because the Avengers Tower is pretty much completely trashed)
“So what now, mon capitan? Post-robopocalypse, it’s-so-good-to be-alive victory sex?”
“Your arm is in a cast, you’re so wrapped up in bandages you’re practically a mummy… and you want to have victory sex? What the hell, Tony.”
“… Or maybe we could get some shawarma. And cuddle.” A beat. “Wait. Cuddling’s still on the menu, right?”
Steve sighs. “Yes, it’s still on the menu. Very well, shawarma and cuddling it is. Don’t say I don’t treat you right.”
“Awwww. Best date ever.”