Chapter Text
Chisa's POV
For the first time - in a long time, I was sleeping peacefully.
No sleepwalking.
No nightmares.
No Flashes.
Just innocent sleep, and I embraced it willingly.
I didn't want to wake up...
I didn't want to face him again...
Why couldn't I just die in my sleep?
It would be a far nicer fate than this...
With a sigh, I slowly open my eyes. In the dim light, I can make out the dusty bookshelf and the grey tiled floor. I'm in that living room again... but how did I get here. I'm clutching my knees to my chest, hugging them tightly. I always used to sleep like this - it made me feel safer.
My throat burns when I swallow. I lift one of my arms carefully and gingerly feel around my neck with my hand, wincing at the discomfort it causes me. I'm sure my neck is purple and swollen with bruises - perfect.
My arms are throbbing, reminding me of the agony he put me through. I glance down at them, surprised to see my wounds covered up with snowy white bandages. Did he do this? It doesn't matter, I don't trust him. He terrifies me...
I feel broken because of him...
My eyes scan the room for his presence - to my relief, Joseph isn't here. I shift slightly, realising that I'm curled up on the sofa. But... my head is raised slightly, the surface isn't soft enough to be a cushion or a pillow...
Suddenly, I feel someone's fingers running through my hair before their hand rests on my head. There's only one person this could be...
My breathing hitches and I immediately try to scramble off the sofa, desperate to get away from him. I only get to place one foot on the ground when his strong arms wrap around my torso, pulling me to his chest. I writhe in his hold, crying out. The wound on my face sears with pain as my features contort. My eyes sting as tears overflow - but his grip stays firm.
"Shh, shh. Everything's fine, puppy. I'm not going to hurt you."
His voice sounds gentle... and genuine...
No.
He's lying. That's all he ever does. I can't believe a word he says.
"No! Let go of me! Please..." my voice cracks as I continue to struggle against him.
I hear him sigh. Then, in one fluid movement, he captures both of my hands under his arm which has snaked around my waist. He uses his free hand to grab my chin, applying pressure, not enough to hurt, but still enough to force me to turn and lock eyes with him.
I gulp, trembling with fear. His eyes are emotionless, adding to my unease. What's he going to do? I'm scared... someone help me! Joseph's hand moves up my face to cup my left cheek. The pad of his thumb brushes against the cut that will surely scar, making me wince under his touch. He presses his forehead against mine, mumbling incoherent words under his breath. My heartbeat spikes at his strange actions.
Instantly, an unusual sense of calmness washes over me, making my tense frame relax into Joseph's chest. My green eyes widen. I would never do this willingly... he must have cast a spell on me! I try to resist the spell, causing my body to jerk away from him - yet again, my efforts were in vain, as Joseph tightens his hold on my waist, waiting for me to give up.
Eventually I do, giving in to the power of the enchantment. Joseph shifts my weight so that I sit comfortably on his lap with my head resting on his shoulder. Unfortunately, the magic didn't change my emotions - I'm still afraid of him.
"There now, puppy. I apologise for the drastic measures I took, but you really didn't give me any other option."
I can't even speak - I just sit there willingly, like a doll. But my heart is hammering inside my chest. I feel so helpless... he could do anything to me right now and I can't defend myself. He strokes my hair a few more times - his poor attempt to calm me down. His hand travels to my back, where he proceeds to rub it gently. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he places his hands under my arms, lifting me up and repositioning my small frame so that I'm facing him, straddling his lap. Joseph appears to be unfazed while I feel very uneasy.
I watch apprehensively as Joseph reaches behind me for something. When he retracts his hand, I can't stop the look of surprise that graces my features when I see a bowl of soup in his right hand and a spoon in his left. He puts the spoon in the bowl, stirring the mixture before lifting up the spoon and bringing it to my lips. He wants to feed me? The rich, savoury smell of the soup makes my mouth water, and my stomach grumbles loudly.
No.
I remember what happened the last time he made me food... he drugged it. Yes, it was for my own good but it was still wrong. Who knows what could be in this 'harmless' soup. I can't trust him. I won't trust him.
I shake my head as the spoon draws closer. He doesn't relent, forcing the spoon to touch my lips - I turn my head away. I hear him sigh, he moves the spoon away just a fraction.
"I know what you're thinking, puppy. I promise you this soup is not drugged in any way. Please eat it, you haven't eaten for days and your body needs strength to help you heal."
I focus my eyes on him, scanning them for any hint of dishonesty. I notice that his expression has changed. Joseph holds a look of concern on his face, surprising me. He wants me to heal... is that good?... or bad?... What if as soon as I'm better, he hurts me again? I don't want that to happen. I just don't understand the way he treats me. He's shown me his nice side only once before - the rest of the time, he's creepy and unpredictable due to his constant mood swings. Although, he did ask me to eat, instead of forcing me to. He probably could force me if he wanted...
Maybe he is telling the truth...
I look at the contents in the bowl... it looks pretty normal, and it smells amazing. My stomach groans again, telling me that I really need food. So, against my better judgement, I give him a slight nod and part my lips. He slides the spoon into my mouth and I immediately taste the creamy chicken flavour of the soup. It's easy for me to swallow, and I sigh in content.
He continues to feed me, reaching out every now and then to stroke my cheek. At first I flinched, but now I just shudder. After a while, when I've eaten about half of the soup, I turn my head away from the spoon. I can't eat anymore - I'll throw up otherwise.
"You haven't finished your food yet, little one. You need to eat more than that."
I gulped. I've already eaten as much as I can. I'm only small, it doesn't take much to fill me. I turn to look at him, struggling to plead my case.
"I... can't..." I say hoarsely.
Joseph looks perplexed: "What do you mean, puppy?"
"Too...much..."
Understanding seeps into Joseph's eyes.
"I see. Well, I am not happy with what you have consumed. However, I will not force you to eat."
"Thank...you..."
Suddenly, Joseph clasps me closer. It takes me by surprise. Immediately, I find the strength deep inside of me to fight against the spell - but most importantly, him. My breathing quickens and I struggle in his grasp, my hands flying up to his chest, pushing against him with all my might.
He wasn't expecting me to fight back, I can see that by the shock written on his face. I'm stronger than I look... His grip slackens and I use the opportunity to wriggle out of his arms.
I forgot that I was sitting on his lap on the sofa. I tumbled off his lap and onto the floor, hissing at the dull ache that throbbed in my bones. I felt his hands try to snake around my arms, but I wrenched them free, ignoring the searing pain that radiated from them. I scrambled to my feet; my head pounded and I clutched it, gasping.
I quickly took shaky steps away from him, but I was disorientated. Before long, I hit something solid - a wall. I leaned against it as my legs gave out. I slowly slid down the wall, bringing my knees to my chest. I stared at the floor, waiting for the inevitable moment when Joseph appeared in front of me.
It didn't take long for that to happen. His brown shoes came into view and as if on instinct, my vision became blurry with tears. Everything about him frightened me: his smile, his eyes, his...arm, his whole demeanour, the way he acts towards me... I can't live in fear like this for the rest of my life... I don't want to live like this.
Joseph lowers himself to his knees - I shift my gaze to a new part of the floor, letting the tears fall silently from my eyes. I felt the palm of his hand graze my cheek - I stiffened and shut my eyes tightly.
"You are a surprising Sleigh Beggy, Chisa. You managed to overcome the power of my spell."
I did? Then why don't I feel comforted by this? If I can overcome his magic, then does that make it harder for him to control me? His voice cuts through my thoughts:
"But please, don't move rashly like that. You've reopened your wounds, see?"
He lightly touched my arms and I glanced at them. Sure enough, the bandages were turning red. A dull sting was settling into the wounds. But I didn't show any emotion. I didn't have the strength.
He moved his hand up to my face, running his thumb along the slash that went from my forehead, through my eye and to my chin. I shuddered under his touch. Joseph paused for a minute before placing his fingertips beneath my chin, applying a small amount of pressure until my head was level with his, but my eyes didn't move.
"Please look at me, puppy. I don't want you to be afraid of me. You have nothing to fear. I have said you will not be harmed."
I almost scoffed. Almost. How could he say something like that and expect me to believe him? He's a liar.
He sighed. "I know that you don't believe that you can trust me. But please, Sleigh Beggy, I think it's time for you to meet him."
Him? What is he talking about? Without realising, my emerald eyes met his stony ones.
"What do you mean?" I managed to hiss out.
Joseph looks uncomfortable. Suddenly, he cups me face in his hands and presses his forehead against mine. I know I can't escape but I wince anyway. He ignores my unease.
"I want you to meet... Carta...philus..."
My mouth hangs open. I was so confused. Didn't the creature in my Flash call Joseph-
"No!" I winced at his harsh tone, "I can see what you are thinking. I'm not... him. Although, he is a part of me. You will understand when I show you. For now, let me move you to a more comfortable seat.
With that, he moved his hands under my arms, pulling me to my feet, before picking me up bridal style. My breathing hitched as he pulled me close to his chest.
"It's okay, puppy. You're safe."
How many lies can he tell me in a minute? Joseph sets me down carefully on the couch before turning away from me. I immediately tuck my knees underneath my chin.
"It's time to meet him. Don't be anxious. He's... different to me. But we are bound together by a powerful, ancient magic. We can't live without each other. Treat him as you would me."
Suddenly, Joseph clutches his head and cries out, panting and gasping as he falls to his knees. He mumbles something which sounds like 'it hurts', but I can't make him out clearly. I watch in mute horror, not knowing what to expect.
Abruptly, Joseph stills. He slowly turns around. I grip my knees tighter. I'm met with the same grey eyes, yet, they seem warmer somehow. He smiles at me. Even that's different. It's not the creepy closed-eye smile, it's an innocent smile, a genuine one.
But I know all too well that looks can be deceiving...
He approaches me... and I panic slightly. He halts when he reaches the sofa and I still. He holds out his hand towards me - I don't move. I just sit there, staring at it like it will explode. He chuckles softly - he sounds like Joseph...
"Hello Chisa. I believe Joseph refers to you as 'puppy'. However, you have a proper name and I intend to use it. I am Cartaphilus, Joseph's Living Curse."
Living Curse? What does that mean? I shake those thoughts away, reaching out my hand in return. He shakes it gently.
"I-It's nice to m-meet you, C-Cartaphilus." I say quietly, my nerves making me stutter.
He gazes at me with concern. "Please don't fear me, Chisa. I am not like Joseph, I can promise you that."
Should I believe him? He's treating me like a real person - not an object. I've missed this.
"Thank you. That means a lot."
Cartaphilus gives me a small smile. "I can tell it does. I'm sorry for what Joseph did to you, just because you mentioned my name. It upsets him as you have probably noticed. You received the brunt of his anger."
He's apologised for Joseph's actions... am I dreaming? Or is this real? But he knows what has happened to me, maybe he is telling me the truth. I should ask him questions... I want to know more.
"Why does your name upset him? And what do you mean by 'Joseph's Living Curse.'"
"Good girl! You have a sharp and inquisitive mind. I will answer any questions you may have about us. May I?" He gestures to the couch.
I shuffle to the left, giving him space to sit down. He continues his tale: "You see, Chisa, I used to be completely human. But over two millennia ago, I was cursed for mocking the Son of God at his crucifixion."
"Cursed?" I asked in a small voice, the hairs at the back of my neck raising.
"Yes. I made a mistake. I threw stones at Him. As punishment, I was cursed to wander the earth forever and never die. Basically, I was cursed with Immortality."
I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. Cursed with Immortality? But... that means...
"Joseph... is a part of you... so he's... Immortal..."
I gasp, looking directly into his eyes. Cartaphilus nods at my deduction, proving I'm right. I'm dumbfounded. This is crazy! I knew Joseph wasn't normal - but then again, who is?
But there's something I still don't understand...
"Why... why did he merge with you? Did he know you?" I ask hesitantly.
He reaches out, clasping one of my hands that was wrapped around my knees gently. "I will tell you the tale - a condensed version, mind. The full tale is rather grisly and I don't think you could handle that right now."
I swallowed uneasily, accepting his reasoning. He's right, though. I don't think I could handle anything too gruesome right now. My mind is still on edge.
Giving my hand a squeeze, he begins: "My Curse of Immortality is far worse than you could imagine. As I have said, I cannot die; but my body continues to rot and decay as though I am already dead."
He pauses, allowing me to take in what he has said. I grip his hand tighter as my body convulses with tremors. He was decomposing, but alive at the same time... That's ghastly.
"The pain was indescribable. I continuously wandered around, until my legs were too rotten to work anymore, and I collapsed in the middle of a road. I tried so hard to die - just like you were doing when Joseph found you. I didn't breathe - but I didn't die. I just lay there, not eating or drinking - death still ignored me. Eventually, I was found by some locals of a town not far from where I lay. They dragged me onto their cart, and took me to the church graveyard. They buried me there, not knowing I was still alive."
I gasped in horror. "That must have been awful."
"Well, it wasn't pleasant, but I've had worse. I don't know how much time had passed when Joseph found me. Light filled my eyes and I saw his young face gazing at me worriedly. He knew I was alive - he is a descendant of the Necromancers; people who can hear and speak to the dead, helping them find peace." A ghost of a smile played on Cartaphilus' lips. "He was a kind, caring soul - a gravedigger. He brought me to his home and did everything in his power to heal me, even though at this time, he was only human. He dressed my wounds daily - but they never improved. And this troubled him. I couldn't speak because my vocal cords had decayed, so I could not tell him about my Curse."
Kind, caring soul. How could he use those words to describe Joseph? I find it hard to believe he was once... good. I continued to listen to Cartaphilus, biting my lip as he told me of how Joseph was bullied for speaking to the dead, and often beaten by others for being different. My heart clenched at this, because I know all to well how that feels.
"There came a night when he was so dismayed, it drove him to madness. He wanted us to become one, so that we would always be together." Cartaphilus turns his head away, as though he is ashamed. "In that moment, I was selfish. I thought he could relieve some of my pain by sharing it with me. How wrong I was. As soon as we merged, Joseph lost his memory; he forgot all about the caring side of himself. He became who he is today; a powerful Alchemist and Sorcerer who has lost his own humanity."
He looked back at me, making sure I was okay. My mouth was dry, but I gestured for him to continue - I need to know this, so that I can at least try to understand Joseph.
He continued: "I continued to decay, which in turn, decayed Joseph's body. He suffered the brunt of the pain, committing violent and atrocious crimes against humans, killing them so he could use their functioning body parts to replace his own rotting ones. Due to the constant pain he suffered, he lost his ability to empathise with others."
He raises his hand to my face, caressing the cut on my face with his thumb while I remain silent. My heart is racing and my stomach is tied in knots. How could he do such things and keep his conscience intact? It's disgusting. He's lost his empathy... So then...
"That's why he didn't think twice about hurting you, Chisa. He preys upon the weak - he loves to cause others pain, believing it will lessen his own."
I feel physically sick. I'm overwhelmed by the story I've just heard. To think that Joseph used to be good... I just can't see it. Someone that sadistic... cared for another so much that he gave up his humanity? It doesn't make sense.
Cartaphilus suddenly brings his hand to his forehead sharply, grimacing. I gaze at him, confused: "Are you Alright, Cartaphilus?"
"I apologise, Chisa. But I'm afraid our conversation must end - Joseph wants his control back."
He lifts himself from the couch, only to kneel down in front of me. He takes my hands and kisses them; unlike Joseph, his action doesn't repulse me.
"I must leave you now. Farewell, Chisa. I hope we can meet again soon."
A sudden question enters my mind. It's an answer that I must have.
"Wait! Why does Joseph hate mentioning your name?"
At my question, Cartaphilus smiles sadly: "Because my name is cursed, Chisa. It reminds him of his eternal life in which he will never be free from pain."
"I see..." I think for a few moments, Cartaphilus waits patiently. "I promise that I'll try to understand his emotions better. And I'll try not to antagonise him. I'll do everything I can to remain strong."
He smiles warmly at me, though regret taints his eyes. "You don't have to promise anything, Chisa. Your emotions and reactions are what make you human. Joseph is unpredictable at times. All I ask is that you be wary around him."
"I know, and I will."
"Good girl. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Farewell, Chisa."
"Do you have to go?" I ask, fear creeping back into my bloodstream.
"Unfortunately, I do. You are strong, Chisa. Remember that." He kisses my knuckles again.
"Thank you. Goodbye, Cartaphilus."
"Perhaps there is one more thing you should know... word has spread among the good fae that the Wandering Jew, Joseph, has a Sleigh Beggy in his possession - that is you. They are calling you, The Alchemist's Starling."
"What?" confusion seeps into my voice. "What does that mean?"
Unfortunately, I don't get an answer. As soon as I utter the words, his grip on my hands becomes agonisingly tight. I hiss softly, while Cartaphilus cries out. He brings his hands to the sides of his head, dragging mine with him. I have a sudden urge to help ease this painful process and start rubbing my hands, which are now pressed flat into his silky hair, in a circular motion; my attempt to ease his pain.
He stiffens at my gesture, but it does appear to help. His cries have now lessened to groans. Abruptly, he drops his head, before slowly raising it to look me in the eye.
My heart jumps to my throat as I realise the stony grey eyes that are boring into mine...
Belong to Joseph...
*****
Well! Here's an absolute mammoth chapter for y'all. I hope my more enthusiastic readers enjoy it. Its really encouraging to get little comments of appreciation and update requests - it's really boosted my confidence with the story because I know what some people like what I'm doing.
So thank you all for that 😊
Until next time
ilovemanga19 💕