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“It comes with a lot of sacrifices. And some things you’ll lose forever.”
Kate paused, her eyes skirting down to stare at her half eaten breakfast. She tried to come up with a list of what she had, what she truly cared about. All she could figure out to list was Clint, Pizza Dog, and her bow. Sure, there was her mom, but honestly that weren’t on the best of terms right now, not that ever really were. Since her dad died it had been pressure, pressure, and pressure. She was supposed to graduate college, supposed to take over the security company, supposed to focus less on her passions and more on “putting one foot in front of the other.”
“Well, good thing I don’t have much to lose then!” she chuckled, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted and not let her smile falter. Clint eyed her suspiciously and took a bite of his food.
“Aren’t you 22? Don’t you have a boyfriend or girlfriend or something?” Clint asked, sipping his coffee.
“Eh, people never seem to stick to me. As you’ve mentioned, I don’t have much of a filter, and get into a lot of.. unfortunate situations. My last friends ditched me after the clock tower thing, not that they could do much from the ground anyway.” Kate shifts in her seat, leaning down to scratch Pizza Dog on the head.
“I see, everyone wants to be friends with untreated ADHD girl until she starts showing symptoms beyond talk a lot and be smart.” Clint feeds Pizza Dog a piece of bacon while Kate bites her nails.
“What about your mom?” Clint’s the one to break the silence, eyeing Kate over his coffee mug.
Kate shifts uncomfortably. “It’s… complicated. I love her, but she’s not really a mom to me. She’s more of my boss, has been since my dad died. It’s not like I wanna leave her, but I wouldn’t exactly be sad if I didn’t see her anymore, wouldn’t change all that much.”
Clint nods, his mind drifting to Natasha. Sure, she could be cold and boss-like to strangers, but to kids, even kids she didn’t know, she was warm. On missions, before the Avengers and Laura and Ultron, they would talk about their fears of being like their parents when they had their own children. Natasha was always so scared of her own children being scared of her, so she brushed off the idea of running from S.H.I.E.L.D. and starting the family they had both always wanted when Clint brought it up. The memory left a stinging in his chest.
“When’s the last time you had a joyful Christmas morning?” Clint asked, burying the ache in his chest he felt when Kate had to start counting.
“Well the Chitauri invasion was 2012, was that’s..7..8…9 years? Yeah, that sounds about right.” Kate glanced down to Pizza Dog, about to say something about how they really needed to get him a tag in case he got lost.
“Wait, why does the Chitauri invasion matter?” Clint looked at Kate with a concerned look in his eyes, a feeling of dread washing over him as he had an idea what Kate was about to say.
“Oh right, I never told you how he died! He was killed in the Chitauri attacks, technically I almost was too but you blew up the alien guy that was coming straight at me! It was such a cool moment, seeing you jump from that building, it’s what made me wanna start archery!” Kate was too caught up in the excitement of telling her hero about that day that the weight of the information slipped by her, all she cared about was how cool Clint looked on that building all those years ago.
Clint sat in slightly stunned silence. This kid had just dropped a hell of a traumatic backstory like it was nothing, because him being there made it positive. Him. He had done this. He gave this kid hope.
“I still remember the last Christmas before the attacks, my dad was always big into getting festive. He loved gingerbread men decorating, and he collected those like village scenes that lit up and had sound effects and stuff! It was so cool, he used to spend hours decorating the building with those!” Kate smiled at the memory, absentmindedly petting Pizza Dog while she did.
“I’m gonna make you a promise, kid. We’re gonna fix this mess, and we’re gonna get you a nice Christmas too. Lila’s always talked about wanting a sister.”