Chapter Text
———
“Ugh, done, finally.”
Jeongguk leans back in his chair, stretching his arms above his head with a groan. He feels a satisfying crack as his spine releases some of the tension built up from sitting for too long. This article has really had him in a chokehold. He can’t wait to send it to the editor and be done with it.
He lets his arms drop back to his sides and rolls his shoulders a few times for good measure before standing up from his desk and grabbing his empty cup, making his way across the office towards the coffee machine to make what will be his third coffee of the morning.
“Good morning!” Namjoon chirps loudly, appearing next to him and giving him a friendly slap on the back.
“Hyung, please,” Jeongguk grumbles as he places his cup under the machine and presses the brew button, the air filling with the warm aroma of coffee, “s’too early.”
“It’s eleven thirty Jeongguk-ah…” Namjoon chuckles, leaning against the counter and eyeing him in amusement, “you look like shit. I told you not to have that last bottle of soju last night.”
“I regret nothing,” Jeongguk lies as he takes a sip of the hot bitter liquid, willing the caffeine to hurry up and do it’s job. He definitely shouldn’t have had that last bottle, but Eunwoo had insinuated that he couldn’t handle three, and Jeongguk was never one to back down from a challenge. He was paying for it now though.
“Mhm, sure,” Namjoon says unconvinced, “well, when you’ve finished here the boss wants to see you.”
“Ugh, really?” Jeongguk groans dropping his head, his black hair falling forward from where it had been pushed back, “I was hoping I could spend today hiding at my desk, avoiding all social interaction. Did he say what it was about?”
“Nope.”
Jeongguk sighs, “helpful, thanks hyung.”
“Any time Jeonggukie. I’m always here to help,” Namjoon says with a grin.
“Im surprised you’re even out of the bosses office. Isn’t it like your second home now?” Jeongguk teases, revelling in the subtle change in his hyung’s expression. “Doesn’t Yoongi-hyung have a personal assistant that can pass on his messages?”
“He does, but then I wouldn’t get to see your adorable hung-over face first thing in the morning,” Namjoon deflects, pinching Jeongguk’s cheek before grabbing himself a coffee, “anyway, I’m needed back at my desk. There’s an article waiting for me to finally complete it. If I miss deadline the boss won’t be happy.”
“Right, because it’d be the worst thing ever for you to be punished by Yoongi-hyung,” Jeongguk smirks, enjoying seeing his friend get flustered.
“Watch your tongue Jeongguk-ah. I’ll bring a really loud bell and ring it right next to your ear.”
Jeongguk holds his hand to his heart, feigning hurt, “now thats just cruel.”
Namjoon laughs, shaking his head, “seriously though, I need to get this article done, and you need to get to Yoongi-hyung’s office. Try not to keel over on the way.”
“Okay hyung. Fighting!” Jeongguk calls after him as he walks away. He knows all too well the pressure of meeting the deadline before the months issue of the magazine is put together and published. He’s been on the receiving end of Yoongi’s wrath for not meeting a deadline once… never again.
Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair, making it as neat as he can to try and fool those around him that he isn’t hung over as fuck, and on the verge of passing out at any moment. He tries his best to keep his hair styled back while at work due to it growing a little too long for what was deemed ‘office-worker appropriate’. He’s not cutting it any time soon though, it’s finally long enough for him to put it in a ponytail.
As he walks briskly across the large open-plan office floor towards the editor-in-chief Min Yoongi’s office, he passes large posters on the wall of this months cover of GQ Korea. Actor Choi Woo-shik is on the front in black and white with the logo just overlapping his hairline. The huge displays are changed to each month’s cover shot, top a-listers on every issue.
As he walks through the office he receives greetings and bows from a number of different people. Ever since he won an award for an article he wrote on the life and accomplishments of fashion icon Park Young-hee, he seems to have gained the respect of everyone around him, friend and stranger. The article propelled him to fame in the literary circles, being acclaimed by critics and selling a record number of copies. It had earned him a promotion too, which he is forever grateful for.
Jeongguk had wanted to be a writer ever since he was young, and had moved from Busan to Seoul to study journalism at university. To make an impact with his writing has always been a thrill for him, one which he finds addictive. Having finally made a name for himself so suddenly with one article, he still finds the fact he is known as one of the big dogs in journalism a surprise.
When he finally reaches the editor-in-chief’s office, he doesn’t even bother checking with his assistant, rapping at the door with his knuckles before poking his head into the room.
“You wanted to see me, hyung?”
Yoongi is sat at his large desk, leaning forward in his chair to look over a spread of articles placed in front of him in a huge collage, pages of text and photoshoots for the next months issue. He looks up from his work and beckons Jeongguk in with a wave of his hand, “Jeongguk-ah, come in. Sit down,” he gestures to the chair opposite his desk.
Although they keep a certain level of professionalism in front of others, when it’s just them it tends to go out of the window. Sure, Yoongi is his boss and technically one of the biggest and most respected figureheads in the industry. But first and foremost he is one of Jeongguk’s closest friends. It is thanks to him that Jeongguk was able to get a job at such a renowned magazine, and thanks to him that he managed to get his big break in journalism. He will forever be grateful for everything that Yoongi does for him.
Jeongguk drops onto the chair, wincing a little at the pain behind his eyes.
“Is that for me?” Yoongi asks, eyeing the cup of coffee in his hands. Jeongguk glances gown at the coffee and then back up at Yoongi.
“Hyung, I love you, but you’ll have to pry this from my cold, dead hands,” he says, wrapping his arm around the cup protectively.
“Uhuh. Hung over?” Yoongi comments as he picks up two pages from his desk and swaps them over with a frown.
“How did you guess?”
“I know you well enough to know what you look like when you’ve had one too many. Let me guess, that’s your second coffee?” He gestures to the cup in Jeongguk’s hand.
“Third, actually.”
Yoongi just chuckles, holding up another page in contemplation, before typing some notes on his computer. When he finishes, he turns to face Jeongguk, lacing his hands together in-front of him on the desk.
“So, Jeongguk-ah, I’m guessing you’re wondering why I called you in here.”
“I am.”
“Well, I have an exciting proposition for you. As you know, your article on Park Young-hee went down a storm, and since then your other articles have also been well received. You’re certainly making a name for yourself.” Yoongi smiles at him proudly and Jeongguk feels himself blush.
“Ah, thanks hyung,” he says awkwardly, ruffling the hair on the back of his head, “I still think I could have done better though.”
Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head, “you always say that. Well this may be your chance.”
Jeongguk tilts his head in confusion.
“Park Young-hee has recently contacted me. She wants to commission another article, and she wants you to write it. She’s run the idea past me and I like it. A lot. So I’d like you to do it. It will be a six page spread, alongside a photo shoot for the July edition, two months from now.”
Jeongguk sits forward in his seat, his mouth open in shock. His article on Park Young-hee was only a four page spread. To get such a huge portion of the magazine is an amazing privilege which almost leaves him speechless.
“…a six page spread?” he asks in shock.
“Yes. It will be much like your previous article, but a little longer. You’ll be shadowing her grandson for two months to gather all the information you need. The feature article will be published alongside a photo shoot, and will be the cover page for that month. What do you think? Will you do it?”
“Shit- yes! Of course I will. Wow hyung, this is- wow...”
Yoongi smiles, “great, that’s settled then. It seems that Park Young-hee has become quite the fan of your writing.”
“That’s crazy,” Jeongguk says, blowing out a breath, “so what’s the article about?”
Yoongi stalls for a second, settling on a vague answer, “Park Young-hee is going to explain everything. She would like to meet you tomorrow at 1:30pm to tell you all about it.”
“Okay…” Jeongguk nods, mentally clearing his schedule for the meeting. He’d spent a lot of time with Park Young-hee while writing the article about her. She was a very impressive individual, and quite a character. Following her life and seeing all of her accomplishments had taught him a lot. He’s sure she will have a great subject for this article.
“Perfect,” Yoongi smiles down at the spread on the desk again in satisfaction, “I’ve got a feeling this article will blow the others out out the water. Make me proud, Jeongguk-ah.”
———
Jeongguk arrives outside Park Conglomerates at 1:15pm, fifteen minutes earlier than the scheduled meeting time. He had quickly learned in the past that it was important to be early for meetings or interviews, but not too early. Fifteen minutes before the arranged time always seemed to be an unspoken agreement which went down well with everyone involved, and also left a good impression, making you seem professional but not too over keen.
Stepping out of his taxi onto the bustling Gangnam street, Jeongguk adjusts his suit and looks up at the large building towering above him, squinting against the bright sunlight that reflects off the glass facade. It’s a modern building, just like all of the buildings lining Gangnam’s metropolitan streets. The building curves slightly, the glass creating soft lines, a design of a well know architect which makes it stand out amongst the more simple looking structures around it. It’s a very fitting building for a retired actress, come fashion icon, come business woman.
Jeongguk falls into step with the employees, probably just coming back from their lunch break, ready for an afternoon’s work. All of the people heading into Park Conglomerates are dressed impeccably, wearing expensive designer suits and dresses, beautiful in a way that tells Jeongguk that many of them have spent a lot of money not only on their outfits, but also on their faces.
He’s been here once before, at the beginning of the year when he’d first met with Park Young-hee to discuss her article, and he had been extremely underdressed. He was determined not to make the same mistake again today.
Seeing as he’s meeting with a huge fashion icon at a company which centers around the fashion industry, Jeongguk has dressed to impress in his best suit- a dark grey Tom Ford, cut off at the ankles with a pair of Prada loafers on his feet. He has his long hair styled back from his face with one strand falling forward.
That morning when he was getting ready in his cosy Itaewon apartment, he had actually wondered if he was going a bit overboard, thinking he might be overdressed. But looking around now, he fits in perfectly.
The workers file in and out of the large doors like bees in a hive, and Jeongguk follows the flow of people as he walks through the entrance and into a grand entrance hall. He walks across the space, glancing up at the huge crystal chandelier hanging above him as he heads towards the reception desk. Before he even makes it to the desk though, he is greeted by a woman with very feline features, wearing a sleek black dress to match her long, sleek black ponytail.
“Jeon Jeongguk-ssi?” she asks.
“Yes, that’s me.”
“Welcome to Park Conglomerates. Park Young-hee is expecting you.” She smiles a tight but polite smile, a smile which tells Jeongguk straight away that this woman is someone who sticks to her schedule, “please come this way.”
Jeongguk follows her across the white marble floor to the private elevator he remembers taking last time. It’s separate from the main elevators, set to the side and manned by a security guard who bows and lets them past. The sleek black doors open up to a fully mirrored interior, giving Jeongguk one final chance to check his appearance. The doors close silently behind them and the assistant presses the only button on the wall, one which takes them straight up to the top floor of the building.
It’s a residential level Jeongguk remembers as they exit the elevator. There’s a door to an apartment to their right, and a hallway leading straight ahead to the office. Many business owners who own huge buildings like this also have an apartment built into it, as an additional home to whatever huge gated house they own in the suburbs of the city. Within a few calculated turns, he arrives at Park Young-hee’s office. The assistant taps on the door and announces Jeongguk’s arrival before stepping aside and allowing him to enter.
Park Young-hee is definitely a woman of expensive taste. Her office is large and luxurious, much like the entrance hall and elevator. Different plush rugs cover the marble floor, deep jewel colours and a variety of lavish fabrics decorating the almost minimal room, as well as several ornate lamps and another smaller chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It makes Jeongguk’s small apartment, filled with books, and plants, and old furniture look like a hole in the wall.
“Hello, Jeongguk-ssi. It’s so good to see you again,” she says with a kind smile, from where she sits comfortably on a stylish teal velvet sofa placed in front of the large window overlooking Gangnam. She’s wearing a long, dark blue dress, her grey hair hair tied back in an elegant bun. She has jewelled rings decorating her fingers and an ornate necklace around her neck. Her youthful face and slim frame make her look much younger than her years.
He had come to know Park Young-hee rather well when he was writing her article, so he doesn’t feel the nerves he had felt when he’d initially met her. She was nothing but kind to him from the get go, so Jeongguk feels a familiar comfort settle in his gut as he smiles and bows a greeting to her.
“Its so kind of you to invite me here again. How have you been?” he asks with a smile.
“I am well, thank you. My health is good at the moment, better than it was when I met you last. Please take a seat, make yourself comfortable,” she gestures to an identical deep blue velvet sofa opposite her, a glass coffee table set between them. Jeongguk walks over and sits down, folding his hands in his lap, waiting for her to speak.
“Jeongguk-ssi, as you know I am forever grateful for the article you wrote about me. It truly brought me to tears when I read it. It was a beautiful and respectful piece of writing that I will cherish always.”
“I’m so happy to hear that. It really means a lot, thank you,” Jeongguk bows his head gratefully.
She smiles kindly and continues, “I’m sure your editor-in-chief, Min Yoongi-nim explained to you that I have something in mind for your next article.”
“Yes, he did. But he didn’t tell me what it was. He said you would inform me.”
“Ah, I see,” she clears her throat, “Jeongguk-ssi, I would like you to write an article about my grandson, Park Jimin.”
Jeongguk tenses, his brain trying to catch up with the words that just came out of her mouth. He tries to keep his face neutral, but he’s sure that his features betray him and let slip a small incredulous frown.
Park Jimin? Top actor and Korea’s it-boy? Jeongguk has seen his face on pretty much every billboard, and every magazine cover. He has a huge fan base and seems to be at the top of his career. There’s no one in Korea who doesn’t know who Park Jimin is. Jeongguk would usually jump at the chance to write an article on such a huge celebrity. He knows that just having him on the cover of the magazine will up sales for that month tenfold.
But Park Jimin has an awful reputation. He’s famed for being cold and unapproachable, an arrogant person with little interest in anyone but himself. Jeongguk has heard rumours of him having a horrible temper, having violent outbursts and taking his anger out on staff and the people around him. He’s also a renowned womaniser, leaving broken hearts in his wake.
His fans will tell you he’s ‘misunderstood’, but all the rumours and the hundreds of negative articles say different. He’d read one article that had described Park Jimin as ‘the most unpleasant person you’ll ever meet.’ And apparently he has a burning hatred for the press. Jeongguk can’t help but feel dread as his stomach churns. How the hell is he supposed to write an article about someone like that?
Park Young-hee takes in his expression, and nods slowly in understanding, not even having to ask what he’s thinking, knowing exactly where his thoughts have gone.
“I’m sure you’ve heard what people say about Jimin,” she says softly, “I’m sure you know of his reputation, the ideas that people have formed about him. But I can promise you, there’s more to my grandson than meets the eye.” She looks at him determinedly, her gaze unwavering, “I want people to see the Jimin that I see. Not the villain they’ve constructed him to be out of their own boredom and thirst for drama. I want to dispel all those silly rumours. I want you to show the world the real Park Jimin.”
Jeongguk nods blankly, trying not to look too taken aback. The real park Jimin? Sure. She’s his grandmother, of course she’ll say he’s different. She probably looks at her only grandson with rose tinted glasses. He’s probably on his best behaviour when he sees her, trying to get more money for his trust fund or something. Jeongguk seriously doubts that she’s right and everyone else is wrong. Park Jimin is probably exactly what the rumours say he is.
But what can he do? Say no, he won’t write it? Yoongi has already thrown him into the deep end by agreeing on his behalf. This meeting is just a formality to explain what the article is about. If he were to turn around and say no he would end up ruining the good relationship he’s built with Young-hee and Park Conglomerates, which would not be a good career move, or have a good impact on GQ magazine as a whole.
But two whole months of shadowing Park Jimin? Jeongguk is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
“I’ve invited my grandson to this meeting too,” Young-hee says, glancing at the clock, “he should be here any minute-“ a knock on the door echoes in the room, and the same assistant as before pokes her head in and announces Park Jimin’s arrival.
Jeongguk takes a breath, trying to calm his nerves and cling onto any positivity he can muster. Maybe she is right. Maybe the rumours about Park Jimin aren’t true. Maybe he will walk into the room with a kind smile, and an explanation that all the things circulating about him are made up. Maybe they will get on really well, and Jeongguk will be able to write a wonderful article that pleases everyone involved.
That isn’t what happens.
The door opens and in walks Park Jimin. Jeongguk’s breath catches because wow he is beautiful. His ash blonde hair falls softly across his high cheekbones, jaw strong and defined, full pink lips sitting perfectly on flawless honey skin. He has a piercing gaze which looks as if it could instantly cut a man down. His ears hold two delicate silver hoops, and he’s dressed in head to toe black, a loose fitting silk shirt with a deep v that shows of his chest, and tight leather look jeans with black heeled boots.
Jeongguk knew he was attractive. He can never resist a double take whenever Jimin’s advert appears on television or on a billboard as he’s walking past. He’s seen his photos throughout the years, but nothing compares to Jimin in real life. He has an aura which a camera can’t fully capture. An elegance, but also a strength which seeps from him. He is absolutely stunning.
Jimin’s gaze draws straight to him, eyes narrowing slightly, and Jeongguk feels pinned to the spot. The look is intense. Jeongguk isn’t one to be intimated, but the way Jimin looks at him makes him feel nervous. Breathless.
“Halmeoni,” Jimin turns and greets his grandmother with a polite bow.
“Hello sweetheart” she replies and Jeongguk almost fails to suppress a snort because nothing about park Jimin is sweet. Jimin seems to notice, phoenix eyes locking back onto him, brows pulling into a scowl. Jeongguk quickly slaps on a very fake smile, but Jimin’s frown seems to deepen more, seeing through the facade.
“Come and sit down dear,” Young-hee says fondly, not noticing the exchange. Jimin obeys his grandmother, sitting down on the sofa beside her. He crosses his long legs, leaning sideways slightly on one hand, his other hand resting on his knee. Jeongguk’s eyes are drawn to his elegant fingers, covered in an array of silver rings, matching his earrings and a delicate chain around his neck, glinting slightly against his skin.
Jimin looks at him again, tilting his head as if assessing him and finding him lacking. Jeongguk doesn’t like that look. Not one bit. He is quickly starting to hate the drop-dead gorgeous bastard.
“Jimin, darling, this is Jeon Jeongguk. He is a very renowned journalist for GQ Korea. I’m sure you’ve heard of him.”
Jeongguk moves to stand and bow a greeting, but Jimin doesn’t mirror it, remaining seated, looking him with that same intense look, “No, I can’t say I have.”
Jeongguk tenses and sits back down. This pretentious shit. He isn’t holding any punches and they haven’t even exchanged words yet. There was a photo in the press of Jimin reading his article so Jeongguk knows Jimin knows who he is. He’s just trying to psych him out. Playing with him like a cat with a mouse. Trying to scare him off for some reason.
“So, what’s going on?” Jimin asks his grandmother, eyes flickering to her and then back to Jeongguk, “why is he here?” Jimin looks at him like someone has let a rat into his grandmothers office, one he wants to get rid of swiftly and inhumanely.
“Well, Jeongguk-ssi wrote such a wonderful article on me for GQ Korea, you know the one, you said it was well written. Well, I’ve asked him to write one on you too. It will be even bigger than mine, focusing on you as a person as well as your work and accomplishments. I’ve already discussed it with your management,” her voice lowers slightly, “and I’ve spoken to your parents about it too. They think it will be good publicity for you… as long as it’s all positive- which I’m sure it will be,” she emphasises the last part, turning her head and smiling at Jeongguk hopefully. Jeongguk returns her smile, nodding in agreement.
Jimin tenses, his hand tightening a little against his knee. It’s a small shift, a subtle hairline crack in the facade, but Jeongguk notices it, taking down a mental note.
Jimin looks at him again, eyes narrowing, fingers tight in a fist on his knee. “No, thank you. I don’t want an article like that about me.”
“Jimin dear, this will be good for you,” Young-hee says softly, “a chance for you to get rid of those silly rumours following you around everywhere you go. Jeongguk will shadow you for two months, get to know you properly, see all aspects of your life. Show people the real you.”
Jimin sits up straight, pulled tight like a thread, “you’ll be following me around?” he asks Jeongguk with a glare.
“O-only during your work hours, if that’s what you’re most comfortable with…” Jeongguk stumbles on his words, partly due to shock and intimidation, but also due to the anger bubbling inside his chest that Jimin would be so insulted by the prospect of him writing an article about him. Other celebrities would be lining up for the opportunity.
“I refuse. I’m sorry halmeoni. I have enough paparazzi following me everywhere I go, all hours of the day, anytime I set foot outside. I don’t need one being given permission to follow me around inside too.”
Paparazzi?! Jeongguk’s professionalism slips and his brows pull into a scowl. Who the hell was Jimin calling a paparazzi? Jeongguk is a journalist, a writer, and a fucking good one at that.
“Jimin-ah,” Young-hee says in a hushed but serious tone, “Your management has already signed the contract with GQ magazine. You’ll be doing a cover photo shoot as well as a formal interview with Jeongguk-ssi for the July issue. It’s non-negotiable. Starting from next week, I expect you to be polite and professional. Show Jeongguk-ssi how kind you can be.”
Jeongguk struggles to suppress another snort. Kind? Jimin probably doesn’t even know what that word means.
Jimin notices Jeongguk’s scowl and glares at him, standing up suddenly like he has had enough. His hands clench and unclench tightly at his sides, his eyes flickering from his grandmother to Jeongguk and back.
“I don’t want this article written about me,” he says bluntly before he turns to glare at Jeongguk, “you and your little notepad better stay away from me. I mean it.” With that he storms out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.
And yeah, it’s official, Jeongguk hates Park Jimin. He disliked him before he’d even met him, but now it’s full blow hatred, cemented in stone. He really is as awful as everyone says he is.
“I’m sorry about him, Jeongguk-ssi,” Young-hee says apologetically, “he has a very negative view of the media in general. They’ve never been good to him. Please don’t hold this against him, I’m sure he will come around.”
Jeongguk nods, standing up, “I understand. Thank you for this opportunity, I’m honoured,” Jeongguk bows, trying his best to smile.
Young-hee smiles back at him, a sadness in her eyes, “Jimin struggles with being in the spotlight. It turns him into something he isn’t, not deep down. Just be patient with him… I’m sure you will see the real him by the end of this.”
“I’ll try,” Jeongguk says, but inside he really doubts it.
———
Jeongguk returns to the office in what can only be described as a blind rage. The taxi driver almost has a heart attack when Jeongguk gets in and barks the address at him. Once he arrives at GQ, he storms straight to Yoongi’s office, not bothering to knock as he bursts through the door. Yoongi is sitting at his desk talking on the phone. He takes one look at Jeongguk and quickly ends his conversation, a finger in the air to tell him to wait a moment.
“I’ll call you back. Yes. Goodbye.” He puts down the phone, and turns to Jeongguk, “Jeongguk-ah, you’re back.”
“Seriously, hyung?! Park fucking Jimin?! You could have told me!”
Yoongi sits back, calmly crossing his arms over his chest, the look on his face saying he was expecting this reaction, “If I’d told you, you wouldn’t have gone to meet with her.”
“Damn right I wouldn’t have! You put me in a situation where I couldn’t refuse! Don’t even tell me not to be mad.”
“I won’t. But this article is a brilliant career move and you know it. All eyes are on you at the moment as the next big writer. This could solidify that. You’re a professional… it will be fine.”
“It won’t be fine, hyung! The guys a complete dick!”
“Jeongguk-ah,” Yoongi says, voice turning serious in that way it always does when he’s giving Jeongguk a pep-talk, “no one has ever gotten this kind of opportunity with Park Jimin. The interviews he does are always the same, one or two pages, the same bog-standard questions. He’s never done anything like this. This article will be groundbreaking.”
“Well I have the perfect headline for your groundbreaking article,” he snaps, motioning the title in the air above his head, “‘Park Jimin is an Arrogant Asshole!’”
Yoongi frowns, “Jeongguk-ah…” he warns.
“Oh, you don’t like that one? I have plenty more! ‘Pretentious Prick!’”
“Jeongguk…”
“Wayward Wanker!”
“Jeon-”
“Frivolous Fucker!”
“Jeongguk!”
Jeongguk clenches his jaw, dropping down onto the chair behind him with a huff, crossing his arms.
They sit in silence for a moment before Yoongi speaks again, “I’m sure he’s not as bad as the rumours say. His grandmother seems to think he’s actually a nice person. You just have to get to know him.”
Jeongguk snorts, “everyone’s grandmother thinks they walk around with a halo. That’s a grandmother’s job. She’s bias. Anyway, I’m not here to get to know him, I’m here to write the article about him. That’s all.”
“How can you write about him if you don’t get to know him?”
“Oh, I can already think of plenty of brilliant content for my article. Believe me, it’ll make headlines across the industry.”
Yoongi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I can see that he’s managed to rub you up the wrong way already, but please try to at least be professional? If not for yourself then for the good of the magazine? This falls on my head too, you know?”
Jeongguk relents, trying not to let his temper get the better of him. He takes a deep breath and nods. “Fine. It looks like I don’t have a say in this, so I’ll try to play nice.”
“Good. That’s all I ask,” Yoongi says, moving his chair closer to his computer to type something, “so, Park Jimin has the leading role in a new drama called, ‘We Met In Spring’. It’s a romantic drama based in a hospital setting-“
Jeongguk snorts loudly, “I don’t see him as the ‘rom-com’ type, but go on.”
“…Anyway,” Yoongi continues, “you will be based on set with him for the next two months, shadowing him through his work day. I want you to write an honest article. The real Park Jimin behind all these false rumours circulating around.”
“Okay, I’ll be honest. But if he’s a dick, I’m writing that he’s a dick,”
“Fair enough. Just, give him a chance, okay?”
“Fine,” Jeongguk grumbles, biting the inside of his cheek.
“So… is he as good looking in real life?” Yoongi says with a smirk, resting his chin in his palm as he leans on his desk.
“He’s so fucking stunning it’s sickening,” Jeongguk says with a grimace, “but he’s got the ugliest attitude. It’s like when Ursula turns into that pretty girl in the little mermaid. Sure she’s pretty on the outside, but underneath it she’s a hideous sea witch who wants to steal people’s souls.”
Yoongi snorts, shaking his head as he waves Jeongguk away, “you’re an idiot. Now, go home and make any preparations that you need to make. I’ll be emailing and calling you regularly for updates. This is an important article for the magazine, so make sure you make the deadline.”
Jeongguk nods, standing up and leaving the office. If there is one thing Yoongi is passionate about it’s his magazine. And Jeongguk respects that, it’s what made him want to work under him.
He returns to his desk to pack away his laptop, as well as his pocket recorder, notepad, and his lucky pen. Apparently he isn’t going to be working from the office for two months. He glances at the succulent sitting on his desk with a pout. He’ll have to ask Namjoon to take care of it on his behalf.
Tucking his things into his laptop bag, Jeongguk throws it over his shoulder and makes his way across the office to the elevators. As he presses the button Namjoon jogs up next to him, “so, I heard the news… congratulations!”
“And what’s the cause for celebration? Because I fail to see it,” Jeongguk deadpans as he slips into the elevator. Namjoon follows him inside, standing next to him, grinning because he can read Jeongguk like an open book. Both him and Yoongi have that skill, and they both love to tease him.
“Park Jimin is hot as hell, don’t even act like you don’t think so too. I’ve seen the guys you’re interested in when we go out. Park Jimin is exactly your type.”
Jeongguk huffs, opening his mouth to deny it, but who is he kidding- Namjoon would see through his lie right away. “Yeah well, he’s got the personality of a troll so I’m not interested, no matter how gorgeous he is,” he grunts, adjusting the bag on his shoulder, “plus he’s not even gay.” The elevator slows and announces that they have arrived at ground level, the doors opening to the foyer.
“Aha! So you admit he’s gorgeous!” Namjoon calls after him from the elevator, not caring about the startled employees trying to enter, “I knew it!”
“Goodbye hyung,” Jeongguk waves over his shoulder, pulling three fingers down and flipping him off as the doors close again. He hears Namjoon’s bark of laughter and can’t help but grin himself. At least he has his friends to cheer him up, even if it is with teasing.
He waves down a taxi once outside, slipping inside and giving his address to the driver. He does have a car, but there’s limited parking at GQ, so he usually just takes a taxi to work. He sits back and watches the world go by as he’s driven back home to Itaewon. He gets the driver to drop him in the high street so he can grab a coffee at his favourite independent coffee shop a few minutes away from his apartment.
Jeongguk loves Itaewon. The alternative and lgbtq+ scene tucked away in the back streets had quickly made his younger self feel accepted when he was first coming to terms with his sexuality. When he’d finally started earning a decent pay check he’d moved from the outskirts of Seoul to Itaewon to be closer to the friends he’d made, including Namjoon and Yoongi who had quickly taken him under their wing when they’d seen him walk into a bar one night, young and wide-eyed and curious. Since then he hasn’t been able to shake the pair.
Walking up the concrete stairs into his modest second floor apartment, the first thing he does is water all his plants. His home has a very bohemian vibe, like somewhere a librarian in the seventies would live. It has creamy white walls and an excessive amount of greenery, thrifted wooden furniture, and books spilling from the book case, piled up on every surface. There is also a small fish tank containing some goldfish sitting against the wall which he feeds with a pinch of fish food. He walks over and slides open his balcony doors, letting the air and afternoon sun flood into the space. He keeps the bug screen pulled closed though, damned if he’s letting a single mosquito inside.
He wanders to his bedroom and drops down onto the bed with a groan. His room isn’t huge, but it’s big enough, a double bed in the centre, again surrounded by books and plants.
Sliding open his rustic antique drawers, he changes into a slouchy tee and some joggers, pulling his hair back into a messy bun. He shuffles back into the living room and drops down onto his worn but very comfortable sofa, pulling out his laptop, and opening it on his lap.
Suddenly he doesn’t feel like continuing with the work he has open on his tabs - an exposé on fast fashion and how it affects their country’s carbon footprint, and a separate interview with an up and coming indie director - both articles he asked to write that don’t have deadlines. Instead he opens up Naver, his fingers hovering for a moment before typing ‘Park Jimin’ into the search bar.
Instantly his screen is filled with pictures of Jimin, paparazzi photos of him walking along the street, red carpet photos, photos from award shows, professional posed photo shoots, headshots, fashion shots, screenshots from scenes in dramas and movies. As he continues to scroll he sees photos of Jimin as a small child, acting in dramas and appearing on variety shows, his features similar and yet so different, eyes and cheeks rounder and more innocent, comments about him being such a cute child actor, about him taking after his actress mother.
He clicks on one of the photos where Jimin can’t be any older than four, and dozens of related pictures appear beneath, showing him at around the same age, some younger. Damn. How young was he pushed into acting? He only looks around three years old in some of these photos.
Jeongguk pulls up his IMDB, scrolling to his first appearance on television. He had just turned three years old, appearing on a variety show where a group of idols would take care of him in a sort of daycare setting, a type of fan service so that their fans can imagine what good fathers they would be. Even then Jeongguk can see the way he had been styled, hair permed and blush added to make him look cute for the camera.
Jeongguk clicks on a few articles, and notes down a few facts about Jimin’s career starting off so young. A family that has been in the spot light for generations, his mother a famous actress and model, his father a chaebol. He is an only child. Attended a performing arts school since childhood. It seems like Park Jimin’s career path had already been marked out for him before he was even born.
An email alert flashes up in the bottom corner from Yoongi, and Jeongguk quickly opens it, tucking his legs up under himself and readjusting a little on the sofa. It’s Jimin’s schedule for the next two months, colour coded for convenience, and geez does this man ever stop?! Jeongguk thought his own work life was hectic, but Jimin’s puts his to shame. If it isn’t filming the drama, it’s tv appearances, interviews or photoshoots. The email also includes Jimin’s management’s contact information, and an address to the studios where the drama he is currently working on is being filmed.
He replies a quick thank you to Yoongi, before returning to Naver. It’s hard to avoid Park Jimin on Naver, an article almost immediately popping up about him in the top visited that day. He scrolls down the list, and clicks on a few more articles, as well as some tweets mentioning Jimin. It seems his name is everywhere online - for better or for worse. There are photos taken of him standing by an actress on a film set, headlines about dating scandals seeming to be the norm with him. Another article comes up about his ‘violent tendencies’ and ‘aggressive temper’.
Jeongguk furrows his brows as he clicks on a blurry video, obviously filmed on a mobile phone. The video shows Jimin practically being mobbed while leaving the airport. He’s wearing a mask, hat pulled low as cameras are shoved in his face. The shouts from paparazzi and screams from so called fans are so loud, Jeongguk has to turn the volume down on his laptop. The security guards are trying their best to shield him but the large crowd is pushing in so close that Jeongguk feels suffocated even watching it through the screen.
The video catches the moment Jimin snaps, shoving one of the large cameras which has been pushed into his face away from him with force, shouting something ineligible. The surprised cameraman stumbles backwards, dropping the large and expensive looking camera, causing it to smash into pieces on the floor. The crowd steps back a little in shock, taking pictures of the scene.
Jimin shrinks back, lifting his hands up to cover his face, his shoulders curling in as a young man with white blonde hair who had been following behind him wraps a firm arm around his shoulders and leads him into a waiting van. The crowd continue to push up against the car like something out of a zombie apocalypse movie, desperately trying to take photos through the blacked out windows until the van finally drives away. That’s when the video cuts off. The tweet containing the video reads, ‘Park Jimin’s violent outburst at member of the press’.
“That’s a little bit extreme,” Jeongguk mumbles to himself, reaching up to turn on the lamp beside the sofa. He wouldn’t call what Jimin had done violent. To be honest, if he’d had someone shoving a camera in his face like that, he would have probably done the same thing. And you could see that Jimin didn’t intend to break the man’s camera. It was an accident more than anything.
Jeongguk sighs and pulls back up Jimin’s schedule- and therefore his schedule- and sees that the next weeks filming will be at a film studio in Seongsu-dong, where it looks like most of the indoor scenes of the drama are filmed. It isn’t too far of a commute, which Jeongguk feels relieved about, and there’s parking on the premises which means that he can easily drive there himself.
Jeongguk orders takeaway for dinner, continuing with his research before finally closing his laptop when his eyes start to ache. He jumps in the shower, washing the stresses of the day away before flopping face first onto his bed with a groan, the sheets bunching up around him. He tosses and turns a bit, still irked at the events of the day.
Next week is the start of two months shadowing Park Jimin, and he’s already dreading it.
———
Jeongguk arrives at the studio on Monday morning at 6am sharp, getting himself a guest pass and a parking space in the carpark. The studio is huge, and he gets lost more than once, but eventually he finds himself on the bustling drama set which has been built to look like several different locations: an apartment, a hospital, and an office space. The half-rooms are all set out in a semi-circle with the large film cameras and tracks laid out in the centre for ease of filming.
Jeongguk is given a quick tour by a very busy young woman, whom he assumes is an intern of some sort. There are production offices and a cafeteria at one end of the studio, and dressing rooms just off of the set at the other end. After being shown where the toilets are, he is pretty much left to his own devices, which he doesn’t really mind. It gives him time to properly wake up with a strong-ass coffee from the cafeteria. He wanders around for a bit, familiarising himself with the layout of the place before slowly making his way back to the set.
As he walks down the corridor containing the dressing rooms, he stops in front of a door with ‘Park Jimin’ written on a gold plaque in bold black letters, the title for the drama written underneath. He doesn’t feel right entering Jimin’s dressing room before he has actually arrived on set, so instead he resigns himself to waiting outside the room, drinking his coffee and watching as the staff hurry around him preparing for the day of scheduled filming.
“Good morning everyone!” chirps a voice from down the hall, sounding far too happy at this ungodly hour.
Jeongguk looks up to see a bright head of white blonde hair moving down the busy corridor towards him. As the man gets closer, Jeongguk immediately recognises him from the video of Jimin at the airport, the person who had ushered him into the van. He has a bright face, large heart shaped smile and an energy which is almost contagious as he greets all the staff who pass him. His clothes are bright and fashionable, and Jeongguk assumes they reflect his personality.
The man opens the door to Jimin’s dressing room before pausing and turning to scan Jeongguk up and down. He thinks for a moment, then points at him with a look like he has just worked something out, “Jeon Jeongguk?”
“That’s me.”
“Wow, you actually showed up. I’m impressed.”
“Um… thanks? Sorry, who are you?”
“Oh! I’m so sorry, how rude of me,” he laughs, “I’m Jung Hoseok. Nice to meet you. I’m Jimin’s personal stylist and makeup artist. I basically follow him around and play dress up whenever I feel like it. It’s a fun job!” He glances down the hall then back at Jeongguk, “would you like to come in and sit down while you wait for Jimin? He was taking a phone call in the car when I left him, he should be here in a minute.”
“Oh, yeah okay… thanks.”
“No problem,” Hoseok replies with a friendly smile as he holds the door to the dressing room open for Jeongguk. Jeongguk bows appreciatively. Hoseok seems like a really nice guy… what a shame he’s stuck working for Jimin.
Jeongguk sits down in a chair positioned at the side of the dressing room, wrapping his hands around the coffee in his lap as he watches Hoseok prepare for the day. He moves quickly and precisely, the movements of someone who has done this job for a while. He places makeup out on the vanity, checking the brushes before placing them down ready to use.
Jeongguk clears his throat, “Um, while I’m here could I ask you some questions about your job?”
Hoseok turns to look at him, “is this for your article?”
“Possibly. I could use you as a quote. Would you be okay with that?”
“I mean, sure,” he shrugs, “are you okay with me working while you ask me questions?”
“Sure,” Jeongguk pulls out his pocket recorder, placing it on the small table beside him and pressing the record button. “So, how long have you been working for Park Jimin as his personal stylist?”
“Hmm,” Hoseok thinks for a moment, “it’s been about six years now since he officially hired me. Before that I was just his friend who would do his hair and give him wardrobe advice,” he chuckles.
“You’re friends as well as colleagues?”
“Oh yeah. Me and Jimin have been friends since kindergarten. We were also roommates for a while when we shared a dorm room at performing arts school. Saying we’re best friends wouldn’t be an exaggeration.”
Jeongguk feels his jaw drop open, “best friends? Really?”
“Yeah, practically family! He’s my little Jiminie,” Hoseok giggles as he hangs up a silk shirt and begins to steam the creases out, puffs of steam floating up into the air around him, “I look after him, and he looks after me.”
Jeongguk just about manages to reel in his shocked expression. How on earth could someone as friendly as Hoseok be best friends with the literal grim reaper who walks around harvesting souls? There must be some sort of mistake, some sort of glitch in the matrix.
Jeongguk schools his features and continues, “And- um- how would you describe Park Jimin as a person? What is he like to you?”
Hoseok doesn’t even stop to think, “he’s a total sweetheart. He’s so good to me. Honestly, he’s just a kind person in general. But he has always been super shy. He struggled with it a lot since childhood. I guess being in the spotlight was never actually something that came naturally to him. I think he gets misunderstood for a lot of things because of that, which is sad-”
Just then the door opens and Jimin walks in. He looks different from how he’d looked when Jeongguk had first met him last week. He’s wearing casual clothes, a slightly oversized hoodie and joggers with a mask covering his nose and mouth that he removes as he enters the room, revealing his bare face. Somewhere in the back of Jeongguk’s mind he thinks Jimin is even more gorgeous without makeup, but he quickly stops that thought, chastising himself internally.
Jimin’s eyes immediately lock onto Jeongguk, his brows pulling into a scowl when he sees the recording device on the table.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Jeongguk looks down at the device, instinctively reaching out to take it off the table, holding it protectively in his lap. It isn’t cheap, and he isn’t sure if Jimin is the type to lash out and break it. He saw what had happened to that cameraman in the airport video.
“Good morning, Jimin-ssi,” Jeongguk says with a tight smile.
“I asked you a question.”
“He was interviewing me,” Hoseok interrupts enthusiastically, smiling as he marches over to stand next to Jimin, “I agreed to it, don’t worry. It’s all very exciting isn’t it? You having a feature article written about you.”
Jimin stares down Jeongguk, fists clenched at his side, “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in my dressing room, but I already told you I’m not doing your article.”
Jeongguk knew Jimin wasn’t going to make this easy, but it’s literally been ten seconds and he already wants to go home.
“I’m sorry, Jimin-ssi, but that’s not up to either of us,” he tries his best to stay professional, standing up and plastering on a tight smile, “the contract has already been signed between the magazine and your management. There’s nothing either of us can do. So if we could be professional?”
Jimin’s scowl deepens, eyes narrowing as he looks at Jeongguk in distrust, “why were you talking to Hobi-hyung? I thought your job is to hound me?”
“Well,” Jeongguk’s eyes flicker to Hoseok who is still half hidden behind Jimin’s back, watching their exchange, “Hoseok-ssi is part of your team and a close acquaintance of yours. It would be nice to get a quote from him for the article.“
Jimin glares at him before turning away and walking to the makeup chair, sitting down in it and looking seriously at Hoseok in the mirror, “don’t say another word to him hyung,” he warns.
“Jiminie…” Hoseok sighs.
“He’s here to interview me, so he can talk to just me. He doesn’t need to start hounding my friends too.”
“So you’ll let me do a brief interview with you?” Jeongguk asks, hopeful. If Jimin at least gives him something to work with, it’s better than nothing. He can bulk out the rest of the article with things he observes as a third party for the next two months. His stomach drops again thinking of the length of time he has to spend here. Oh god, it’s going to be a long two months.
Jimin nods tightly, “fine. If that’s how it has to be for you to not harass my friends, ask away.”
Hoseok starts on Jimin’s makeup, careful fingers searching through everything he needs on the table in front of them while Jimin tugs off his hoodie, leaving him in a plain white shirt with a wide neckline which shows off his collarbones. Jeongguk drags a chair up beside him, cautiously placing the recorder on the table and looking at Jimin’s profile. Jimin refuses to look at him, staring straight ahead at the mirror.
Jeongguk clears his throat and thinks of the things he had researched the night before. “It seems that the whole of South Korea knows your face. How does it feel to be at the peak of your career?”
“It’s fine.” Jimin shrugs blankly.
Jeongguk waits for more, but Jimin gives him nothing else, simply closing his eyes as Hoseok starts to apply some concealer around his eye area.
“Um… alright…” Jeongguk collects himself, “who is your inspiration when acting?”
“No one in particular.” Jimin deadpans.
Jeongguk bites the inside of his cheek, “right. So, what do you do to get into character?”
“Read my lines.”
Jeongguk clenches his jaw, frustration crawling under the surface of his skin, “and how about your free time? Do you find it hard to separate your work life and social life?”
“No.”
“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok laughs nervously, eyes flicking up to Jeongguk who is becoming more and more irritated, “give the guy something.”
Jeongguk continues, trying not to let Jimin see he’s getting to him. Well he wouldn’t see it anyway, because he wont fucking look at him.
“What has been your favourite drama, or movie you have worked on?”
“They’ve all been fine.”
Jeongguk can feel his anger growing. All his interview etiquette seems to have gone out the window.
“Is there anyone you would like to work with in the future?”
“Not really.”
That’s it. The fucking prick. He knows they’re both stuck in the same situation, and yet he refuses to even cooperate? Fine, if that’s how he wants to play it. Jeongguk can play dirty too.
“I noticed your first tv appearance was when you were three years old. Did you actually want to be an actor, or were you pushed into it by your parents?”
Jimin stiffens noticeably in his chair. Jeongguk doesn’t even care if he has hit a nerve, in fact he revels in it, because finally Jimin is looking at him, albeit with a look that could kill.
“Excuse me?”
“Well, looking at your past work, it seems like your mother- who was a hugely successful actress in her younger years- pushed the career onto you from a young age. Tell me, Jimin-ssi, did you even want to be an actor, or did you have no choice?”
Jimin looks at him in disgust, like he’s grown a second head, “I- you… how dare you?” His hands curl into the same tight fists as before, clenching and unclenching at his sides. Jeongguk has noticed he does it a lot. It must be a habit of his, a characteristic of his temper maybe. Right now though, Jeongguk’s own temper rivals Jimin’s.
“Jiminie, calm down,” Hoseok whispers, rubbing Jimin gently on the shoulder.
“Is that one of the the reasons for your violent outbursts?”
Jimin stands up sharply, the chair scraping backwards along floor. He’s standing over Jeongguk now, looking down at him fiercely, “I am not violent.”
“I’ve seen some videos on the internet that beg to differ,” Jeongguk states matter-of-factly, crossing one leg over the other as he holds Jimin’s glare. Jimin recoils slightly- it’s only subtle but Jeongguk notices. To be fair, he hadn’t actually seen any videos of Jimin being violent, only the one from the airport, and anyone could see that wasn’t intentional and the camera guy deserved it. But right now it’s good ammunition. He’s not pulling his punches anymore, and he can feel himself finally knocking Park Jimin down a peg or two.
“I’m not violent,” Jimin repeats, a little weaker.
“Your reputation for ‘fits of rage’ begs to differ.”
“That’s a lie…”
“Well look at how you’re acting now.”
Jimin looks down at his defensive posture, how he’s almost leaning over Jeongguk, and he shrinks back, his face dropping.
“I-I…”
“Jimin-ah, Jeongguk-ssi, I think it’s probably best to end this interview here,” Hoseok cuts in, trying to pull Jimin backwards towards him.
Jimin looks at the recorder still recording on the table next to them. He looks back up at Jeongguk, freshly lined eyes turning red at the corners, filled with betrayal, like Jeongguk has tricked him and won, “you’re going to write all this in your article, aren’t you?”
Jeongguk doesn’t reply.
“That’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want to write an article like my grandmothers, you want to tear me to pieces just like everyone else. ‘Park Jimin, violent psychopath!’,” Jimin motions the title in the air, and gives an incredulous balk of laughter, “you’re just like the rest of those blood sucking parasites. You know what? Write your damn article, write it however you fucking like. It’s not the first bad press about me, and it certainly won’t be the last.”
Jeongguk recoils at the accusation. He stands up so they are eye to eye, leaning into Jimin’s space, his cheeks feeling hot, “If you’d just get your head out of your ass and let me interview you properly, I wouldn’t need to stoop so low…”
Jimin’s eyes lock with Jeongguk’s for a moment, emotion flickering across them before he turns away and shakes his head, storming over to where his costume waits for him freshly steamed on a clothing rack, “this thing, this interview- whatever the fuck it is- is over. Get out of my dressing room. I need to change.”
“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok follows Jimin, stroking at his arms gently “hey, Jiminie, let’s all calm down, hm? I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” he looks over at Jeongguk apologetically, “Jeongguk-ssi I think it’s best if you go.”
Jeongguk doesn’t need to be told twice. He’s had enough of whatever shit show this has turned out to be. He grabs his recorder off the table beside him, pressing stop and pushing it back into his pocket before he marches out of the room, closing the door firmly behind himself. He doesn’t really go far though. His job is still to shadow Jimin for two months, so he hovers around the set, waiting for Jimin to finally appear out of his dressing room.
Jimin is taking a while, and the crew have all finished preparations, waiting on him. Jeongguk takes another walk back towards the dressing rooms, hovering in the hall outside for when Jimin decides to grace everyone with his presence. After a few minutes the door opens and Hoseok steps out, pausing to look back inside and say something to Jimin. He hasn’t noticed that Jeongguk is standing there, and that’s when Jeongguk sees Jimin opening a bottle of pills with shaky hands, popping a few into his mouth and swallowing them with water.
Well would you look at that. Park Jimin is a junkie as well as a psychopath, apparently. Another thing Jeongguk can check off the list.
Hoseok turns to walk out of the room, eyes widening and mouth forming a small ‘o’ when he sees Jeongguk standing there in front of him. Jeongguk crosses his arms and leans on the wall opposite the room. “Jeongguk-ssi, you’re back,” Hoseok says, quickly pulling the door closer to himself, shielding the inside of the room, and subsequently Jimin from view. Though it’s too late at this point. He should have done that thirty seconds ago when Jimin was popping pills at his makeup table.
Jeongguk doesn’t say these thoughts out loud though, he just smiles politely, “I am. It’s not like I can really go anywhere,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “I think the crew are waiting for Jimin, will he be coming out anytime soon?”
Hoseok looks back into the room, and then steps out, pulling the door closed behind him. He takes Jeongguk by the arm and pulls him to the side of the hallway. Crew members rush by them, all busy with their respective jobs which keep the production running smoothly each day. Hoseok steps close, speaking in a hushed voice that only they can hear, “listen, about Jimin. I know you two haven’t really gotten off to a great start. Maybe your opinion on him isn’t that positive right now…” Jeongguk almost scoffs because that’s an understatement, “…but I’d really appreciate it if you give him a chance. There’s a lot more to Jimin than what people see.”
Jeongguk tries his best to act professional, and nods in understanding, not wanting to be rude to the one guy who actually seems like a nice person. Maybe even the one guy Jeongguk can get on with while he’s stuck with Jimin for two fucking months.
“Jimin finds dealing with members of the press difficult. He always has,” Hoseok explains, “the way he’s acting, it’s nothing personal. I think he’s just seeing you as part of the ‘evil media monster’ that he has to deal with almost every day. The press can be really unforgiving, so Jimin has learned to be unforgiving too, even if it’s misdirected. It’s a defense mechanism. So, please don’t take it the wrong way, okay? I’ll try and talk to him when he calms down.”
Jeongguk nods again. He can understand a celebrity being reserved around a member of the press. He can understand it when it’s a reporter chasing you down the road for a cheap headline in the next mornings newspaper, or the paparazzi hiding in bushes wherever you go, hungry for a scandal. But that isn’t what Jeongguk is here for. Any other celebrity would jump at the opportunity to have a spread in GQ magazine, and in all honesty it was never supposed to be a bad article. That isn’t what he’s here for.
“I’d appreciate you talking to him, Hoseok-ssi. Thank you. I’m just trying to do my job.”
Hoseok smiles his heart shaped smile again, pushing his blonde hair back in relief, like he’s managed to defuse a bomb which was about to blow up in his face. “No problem! You seem like a nice guy, I know you and Jimin would actually get along if you both tried. So if you could try and be patient with him, that would be a big help.”
“Sure,” Jeongguk shrugs “I’ll try.”
———
“So how was your first day on set?” Yoongi asks, sipping on a glass of whisky. He looks different when he’s not in his work suit. Younger. Softer. You would never look at him and think he is the editor-in-chief of one for the most popular magazines in South Korea.
“Horrible,” Jeongguk grumbles, face buried in his arms on the table, “I think these two months are going to be a total train wreck hyung. The second I met Jimin in the morning he went ape-shit at me. Then after that he kicked me out of his dressing room and refused to even acknowledge me for the rest of the day. I just want to go back to writing my article on fast fashion,” Jeongguk whines, peeking up from his arms to look at Yoongi with pleading eyes.
Namjoon leans over and rubs his back comfortingly. They’re sitting in their usual booth in a small bar in Itaewon. It’s tucked into the corner, low amber lighting reflecting off the shiny surface of the table and the liquid in their glasses.
Yoongi chuckles sympathetically, “I’m sorry, Jeongguk-ah. Let’s just hope they’re teething issues which will pass. I mean, you’re usually a pretty easy guy to get along with. Hopefully Jimin will see that.”
Jeongguk just sighs, taking a mouthful of his drink, feeling the burn of the liquor run down his throat. He puts the glass back down with a clack and runs his fingers through his hair. “I don’t care if he sees it or not, to be honest.”
“Oh, Jeongguk-ah,” Namjoon pats him on the back, “he sure has you riled up doesn’t he?”
“He’s just- I tried, I did. But he’s impossible! He’s been nothing but rude to me since we met. For no reason!”
“He must have some sort of reason, thought. I can’t imagine he’s just acting like this for no reason,” Yoongi shrugs.
“Well, Hoseok his stylist said that he has always had an issue with the press. But I already explained to him I’m not some random paparazzi trying to catch him out.”
Namjoon nods, leaning forward on the table with his drink in his hand, “well, people who have been famous from childhood have had to deal with the press for a long time. And the tabloids can be pretty cutthroat. They’re always looking for a story or scandal, asking things to trip you up or to try and get a reaction. I guess he probably hasn’t had many good experiences with people in our line of work. I mean, I for one haven’t seen many positive articles on him, have you?” he asks, glancing at Yoongi?
Yoongi shakes his head, delicate fingers tapping against the side of his glass, “not since his childhood, no.”
“See?” Namjoon tilts his head and smiles “he’s probably just cautious. Just give him some time.”
“And don’t antagonise him,” Yoongi says with a warning tone, giving Jeongguk a pointed look.
“I didn’t antagonise him!” Jeongguk says defensively. Yoongi raises an eyebrow and gives him a look which says ‘I don’t believe you’ and Jeongguk sighs, running his hand over his face, “okay, maybe I did antagonise him a tiny bit… but only because he was being difficult and not answering any of my questions! He started it.
“Then you need to be the bigger person. You’re a professional Jeongguk-ah.”
“I know, I know,” Jeongguk sighs, pushing his palms into his eyes, “I’ll try harder.”
After one more drink, and a whole lot more consoling from his adoptive parents, Jeongguk walks home through the backstreets of Itaewon to his apartment. The older building doesn’t have an elevator, so he has to climb two sets of stairs on aching legs. He practically falls in and out of the shower, setting his alarm for early the next morning before collapsing into bed in exhaustion. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Maybe he’ll get lucky, and Jimin will finally be reasonable with him.
———
Jeongguk gets a double shot of espresso in his coffee, preparing himself for the day ahead. He had used the morning drive to try and get in a sort of zen-like head space, ready to be calm, composed and professional throughout the day no matter how Jimin acts. He doesn’t know why Jimin gets under his skin so much, but he’s determined not to lose his cool again today.
Walking into the studio, he passes Jimin’s dressing room, irritation bubbling up inside. He silently chastises himself, reminding himself to stay calm and composed. He busies himself with reading through the schedule of scenes they’re filming today which are marked out on a board on the wall. He rocks on his feet, slipping his hands into his pockets.
He’s wearing a smart-casual outfit, a loose shirt tucked into chinos, having been told last night by Yoongi that a suit was not necessary while on this job. To be honest, Jeongguk has never been too fond of wearing suits, wearing them only because they were part of the office dress code more than actually wanting to.
Jeongguk’s eyes trail across the director’s messy handwriting, falling again onto Jimin’s name which has been scribbled multiple times. He turns when he hears Jimin’s door open, the actor walking out onto the set. He looks stunning as always, the mood of the studio almost shifting with his presence. His eyes scan the room until they meet Jeongguk’s. His brows instantly pull down into a scowl, a silent warning for Jeongguk to stay away from him.
Hoseok sees the exchange from where he walks out after Jimin, and smiles apologetically at Jeongguk. Jeongguk gives a polite nod to them both, and Jimin just ignores him, turning and walking away. Hoseok hurries over. “Good morning,” he says with a smile, “I’m sorry that Jimin is still giving you a hard time. I did have a chat with him last night. I’ll try again today when we’re on break.”
“Thanks, Hoseok-ssi. Honestly, I really appreciate it,” Jeongguk smiles.
“I just want everyone to get along,” he smiles sadly, “and it hurts to see people talk badly about Jimin when I know that’s not what he’s like. He doesn’t help himself though,” Hoseok sighs, glancing over at Jimin. “I’ll try to make him come around.”
As promised, Hoseok has a long chat with Jimin during a break in filming that day, but if anything, things just get worse. Jimin goes from throwing scowls in Jeongguk’s direction when he’s not filming a scene, to point blank ignoring Jeongguk’s very existence.
For someone so pretty, Jimin definitely lives up to his reputation of cold and unapproachable. The production crew avoid him like the plague, and even the director himself seems to walk on egg shells every time he makes a suggestion during a scene.
The only person who actually approaches Jimin out of choice seems to be Hoseok. He appears between takes to dab at Jimin’s face with cotton pads and to reapply some makeup, as well as fix any loose strands of hair. He’s so bubbly, and he talks to Jimin like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Jimin talks to him too, saying quiet sentences and nodding along to whatever he says. He looks at Hoseok with a gentleness which Jeongguk hasn’t seen from him before.
Unfortunately Jeongguk can’t hear a thing they are saying because he’s been asked to stand out of the way during recording, shunned to the corner of the room while they film a complex hospital scene. From what Jeongguk can glean, Jimin plays a young doctor, and to be honest he is a very good actor. Each time the room goes quiet during a scene, Jeongguk can’t help but be sucked into the moment, hanging off every word from Jimin’s lips. You can see that he is a person who has spent many years behind the camera.
Between scenes, Jimin still ignores Jeongguk, walking quickly in the opposite direction whenever he attempts to approach him. During their lunch break, he disappears into his dressing room, locking the door behind him. And now, at the end of a twelve hour long day of filming, Jimin simply changes back into his hoodie, pulls it low over his eyes and walks straight towards the parking lot without a second look at Jeongguk.
———
For the next five days Jimin continues to avoid him, and by the end of the week Jeongguk is at his wits end. He’s spent over seventy two hours now shadowing Park Jimin and has absolutely fuck all to show for it. In a bid of desperation, and a little rage, Jeongguk follows Jimin to the parking lot after filming has ended, and as he is about to climb into a large blacked out vehicle, Jeongguk steps between him and the open door, blocking his way.
Jimin sighs stepping to the side, and Jeongguk steps that way too. Jimin steps the other way, and does Jeongguk. Jimin stills, looking up from under his hood, meeting Jeongguk’s eyes for the first time in days. He looks tired, the skin under his eyes a dark purple where his makeup has been removed,
“Yes?” he sighs.
Jeongguk opens his mouth, but now that he’s here, with Jimin actually looking at him, he is at a loss for what he wanted to say. Finally he manages to put together a sentence, “you know, it’s immature to ignore me when I’m a professional doing my job, just like you. This attitude… it won’t reflect well in your article,” he says, the words leaving his mouth before he can stop them. Nice one Jeongguk. So much for not antagonising him.
“Oh, really?” Jimin replies unaffected, “honestly, I couldn’t care less at this point. I already told you, you can write whatever terrible shit you want about me in that article.”
Jeongguk groans, rubbing a hand over his face, “That- that’s not the point! I’m not actually going to write a bad article. Why would I? It’s your grandmother who commissioned it to be written. God- Jimin-ssi, you don’t need to like the press, or me, but please, at least be civil and let me do my job.”
Jimin just blinks at him, “Jeongguk-ssi, I think you’ll find your contract covers following me during my work day. Right now, I’ve finished work for the day,” he steps closer, and Jeongguk hates that he feels intimidated as Jimin leans in and drops his voice to a whisper, “so, by my calculations you’re overstepping your boundaries. Now, please move aside so I can enter my car and go home. I’ve had just about enough today.”
Well, he’s got him there. His contract does cover shadowing Jimin only during his working hours. Jeongguk grits his teeth, begrudgingly stepping to the side, letting Jimin slip past him and jump into the back seat of the large black car. He feels his anger flair as Jimin presses a button, keeping his eyes forward as the door slides closed, not saying another word to Jeongguk as the blacked out glass cuts him off completely.
Jeongguk’s anger is still blazing when he crashes through the door of his apartment, storming to his bedroom and opening his laptop without even removing his shoes. Fine. If that’s what Jimin thinks his article will be like, then who is he to disappoint, hm? He will write an article that will live up to his fucking expectations.
He types a little too fiercely as he writes out the title: Park Jimin - The Inside Story.
Jeongguk takes a break after around thirty minutes of aggressive typing, finally taking his shoes off. He’s calmed down a lot, having let most of his anger and frustration out in his writing. Reading back through what he has written, to say he’s trashed Jimin is an understatement. He has really gone all out. Dragging up Jimin’s already muddied reputation and smearing it all over the document, lacing it with his own anger and hatred. Exaggerating Jimin’s violent tendencies and secret pill addiction. Throwing in some family drama just for good measure. And he’s definitely overused the work ‘dickhead’.
Of course he would never publish this. It’s just a way of venting his frustrations, and it’s worked pretty well. He feels a lot calmer now, having thrown all the insults he wanted to throw at Jimin’s face into the article instead.
He takes a breath, closing his laptop and pouring himself a well needed whiskey. It’s been a hell of a long week.
One week down, seven to go.
———
It turns out Jeongguk is still pretty pissed off when he wakes up, his irritability having kept him tossing and turning all night. He can’t help but sigh in relief when he rolls over and checks his phone. It’s Sunday which means no filming, which means no Jimin.
“Ugh, thank god,” Jeongguk mumbles to himself as he pushes back his linen duvet and climbs out of bed, leaving it unmade which has become a bad habit of his. But hey, the rest of his apartment is a mess of books and plants, why should his bed be any different?
He runs his hand through his messy hair, an attempt at combing it back out of his face which proves futile, his thick bangs falling forward across his cheekbones. Stretching his spine out, he rifles through his wardrobe and pulls out his joggers and a t-shirt, tucking his unruly hair back from his face with a baseball cap.
Jeongguk fills up a bottle with cold water and pulls on his battered sneakers before leaving his apartment, the door clicking shut behind him as he bounds down the stairs and out onto the backstreets of Itaewon. It’s still pretty early, but its summer and the sky is already a powder blue above him. It’s cooler this time in the morning, so it’s a perfect time for Jeongguk to work off some of his energy with a run. Maybe it will help him clear his head.
He tightens his grip on his bottle and sets off down the quiet street, slipping in and out of alleyways and bounding down small sets of stairs between houses and shops. Jeongguk has been living here long enough to know the area like the back of his hand. He heads towards the Han river, and luckily the way there from home is mainly a descent as the natural hilly part of Seoul plateaus out towards the river’s edge. Jeongguk feels the subtle burn in his muscles as he runs, the sensation clearing his head of any other thoughts of a certain someone.
He crosses an overpass and jogs down some steps to reach the rivers edge, running along the path marked out for pedestrians. At this time on a Sunday there aren’t many people, just a few joggers and cyclists. He continues down his normal route before finally stopping to stretch, catching his breath at the rivers edge. It’s not the ocean, and Jeongguk can’t fool himself that it is when the tall buildings on other side of the river are staring at him so blatantly, but he finds that even a large body of water like the Han river helps to calm and comfort him when he needs it.
He takes a sip of water, feeling a subtle breeze brush across his sweat-dampened skin. If he closes his eyes he can imagine he’s back with his toes in the sea in Cheongsapo. He loves living in Seoul, but he’s always had the ocean in his veins, and some days he craves it more than others. After listening to the soothing slosh of the water for a while, Jeongguk starts running again, finishing his loop and heading back towards Itaewon.
He slows into a walk to warm down as he makes his way down a street called ‘cafe street’ known, unsurprisingly, for the many cafes which line either side. As he passes one particular cafe he can’t help but do a double take, eyebrows raising. The entire outside of the cafe is covered in banners and photographs of Jimin’s face. God, he’s everywhere. Jeongguk rolls his eyes. He can’t avoid him for even one day, apparently.
He could just pass by. Instead he finds himself walking closer to the cafe, scanning the pictures for any idea why the place has suddenly become Jiminland. A worker steps out of the cafe, placing out the tables which sit on the front decking.
“Excuse me,” he says to her, “what’s all this about?” He gestures at the banners and posters all over the cafe. If one Park Jimin wasn’t enough, he’s now got about fifty of them staring at him with sultry eyes.
“Park Jimin filmed a scene from his new drama here,” she says with heart eyes towards the posters, “we’re promoting the drink that he orders in the scene, in partnership with the drama.”
“Oh…I see, ” Jeongguk nods. They really do use Jimin as the face of everything they can, just because they know that he can sell out pretty much anything.
Just then two girls who are walking a dog pause at the entrance, “oh, look unnie,” one of them says, wiggling in excitement and squeezing the others’ arm, “it’s Park Jimin!”
“He’s so handsome! It must be a promotion for his new drama!” the other girl almost swoons, “we have to get that coffee,” she says pointing at the promotion. Jeongguk feels himself roll his eyes. Case in point. They both brush excitedly past Jeongguk and into the cafe, taking photos with a life size cutout of Jimin before ordering two of the coffees, priced up to a ridiculous price even though they are probably just regular, normal, boring coffees.
“Didn’t he film this scene with Moon Ga-young?” one of them says with an air of gossip to her tone.
“Mhm,” the other nods, “I heard that he hooked up with her.”
The first covers her mouth in disbelief, “no way, I thought he was dating that model? The one called… I forgot her name -you know the one.”
“Well I’m just saying that’s what I heard, why else would she have left the drama so suddenly?”
“Unnie, wouldn’t his company have released an official statement about it? Wouldn’t he have released an apology if there was a scandal?”
“Apparently he never gives any statements or apologies for these scandals. It’s like he thinks if he just ignores their existence, they’ll go away.”
Ha. Jimin, ignoring something and hoping it goes away? Jeongguk knows the feeling.
The younger girl shrugs, “oh well, he’s so pretty to look at, and the idea of him being a heartbreaker makes him more attractive to me. I like the bad boy type.”
“You’re terrible,” the other laughs, slapping her shoulder as they leave the store with their little poodle. Jeongguk just stands there as they walk past him. Does Jimin know that this is the way that even his fans speak about him? To not even give any sort of statement to extinguish the fires of a scandal… Jimin is either very brave or very stupid.
“Sir? Would you like to try the coffee?” the staff member asks with a smile.
Jeongguk ends up walking back towards his house with a ridiculously priced coffee in his hand, the cardboard sleeve of the take-away cup printed with Jimin’s face. He holds up the cup to look at the picture, laughing to himself as he shakes his head.
Even photo Jimin looks at him like he hates him.
———
When his alarm goes off on Monday morning, Jeongguk has absolutely zero motivation to get up, the feeling only subsiding slightly with three cups of strong coffee before he even leaves his apartment and heads to the film studio. In Jimin’s beyond hectic schedule, it says that he will be filming all day at the studio from 6am.
Jeongguk manages to pull himself together and make himself look half decent with a loose dress shirt and a pair of black jeans, his hair tied back in a neat bun. The days are getting hotter, a sign of summer fast approaching, however he will be inside the air conditioned building all day so it won’t affect him too much.
Jeongguk slides into his car and makes his way to the studio. After asking around he’s managed to secure a regular parking space, making commuting a lot easier for him. He takes deep calming breaths on the way, getting into his zen-mode for when he has to face Jimin.
When he arrives however, it’s not Park Jimin he’s met with, but the confused looks from two actors who are preparing to film their scenes instead. Jeongguk recognises them instantly, Kim Seokjin and Kim Taehyung. They are both popular and successful actors in their own rights, and close friends of Jimin’s he’s learned. Jeongguk glances around, but Jimin is nowhere to be seen.
“Hello,” Jeongguk approaches the ridiculously attractive actors and bows a greeting, “um, sorry, is Park Jimin running late?”
“Jimin? He’s not filming here today. Him and some of the crew are filming a few of the remote location scenes,” Kim Taehyung replies.
“What?” Jeongguk pulls out his phone to double check the schedule he had been emailed, “but his schedule says he will be filming here all day?”
“Oh, I think he changed it last minute,” Kim Seokjin says, a stylist fixing his hair ready for the scene, “he asked to do the remote location shoots instead.”
“Yeah,” Taehyung nods, “he insisted on swapping the schedule. From what I recall his exact words were, ‘as far away from the studio as possible’.”
———
“Son of a bitch, ”Jeongguk grumbles under his breath as he swerves his car, ducking and weaving through the rush hour traffic he thought he had avoided earlier in the morning. It turns out Jimin’s filming location is just under three fucking hours away.
Brilliant. Just brilliant. If it were anyone else he was shadowing he would turn the car around right now and go home. But he just knows that’s exactly what Jimin wants him to do. No- he will go to the ends of the Earth to spite Park Jimin.
With that thought feeding his determination, Jeongguk drives on. He’s managed to get the location from the film crew, an old Hanok village set in the mountains.
He calls Jimin, having been given his mobile number by his management, but of course he doesn’t answer any of the calls. The first few times he calls, it rings a few times then goes to voicemail, but then after that the phone doesn’t even ring, going straight through to voicemail. Bastard.
Jeongguk takes several wrong turns on the way. With that and traffic, by the time he finally makes it to location, he’s missed more than half a day of filming.
He’s pretty sure his car has a puncture by the time he parks it on a bumpy country road where he sees a few vans belonging to the film crew parked. Jumping out from the car, Jeongguk walks over to where they have set up cameras down an alley between two vacated hanok houses. It only takes a second for him to locate Jimin, eyes locking onto the man that instantly stands out in a crowd, his ash blonde hair styled across his forehead, light silky clothes draping across him just right, making him look ethereal. The beautiful fucker.
Jimin glances up from where he is leaning against the door frame of one of the vacant houses, waiting as the crew prepares for the next scene. The moment he sees Jeongguk approaching like a human apocalypse, his head drops back against the door frame, eyes closing like he’s exasperated. He’s exasperated? Him?!
Jeongguk storms straight up to Jimin until he’s standing inside the door frame right in front of him.
“Jeongguk-ssi, you came,” Jimin says with a sigh, his eyes still shut, head still tilted back.
“I did,” Jeongguk snaps, failing to hold onto the last piece of professionalism, “no thanks to you.”
Jimin opens his eyes and lifts his head, “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You don’t know…” Jeongguk can’t help but laugh bitterly, “you changed your schedule and forgot to inform me.”
A few crew members start to throw sideway glances at them, quietly watching the drama unfurl. Jimin thinks for a moment, putting on an innocent expression, “did I? I’m sure I sent you through the change of schedule.”
“You didn’t. You know that you didn’t, so don’t even try that bullshit.”
Jimin pushes off the old worn door frame, walking back inside the house, “you know you could have just gone home. We’re not even filming anything important today.”
Jeongguk follows him into the empty house, only bare walls left of what was once a family home. He feels his hackles rise. His skin bristles, his clothes too thick for the summer heat, no air conditioning in sight.
“I couldn’t do that, you know I couldn’t. You just wanted to fuck around with me.”
“I wouldn’t have told anyone,” Jimin shrugs, “It’s not like you want to be here anyway. And I certainly don’t want you here.”
Jeongguk clenches his jaw in frustration, “what the fuck is your problem? I haven’t even done anything to you!”
Jimin turns towards him, crossing his arms around himself defensively, “I don’t want a fucking article written about me, and you’re doing exactly that. That’s my problem.”
Jeongguk shakes his head in disbelief, “you have literally hundreds of articles written about you. Why is this one so different?”
“Maybe it’s because I have a choice about this one!”
“You don’t have a choice though. That’s what happens when you’re famous, Jimin-ssi. Articles are written, and guess what? Almost every single article about you is negative. Why is that, huh?”
Jimin flinches, brows drawing down as he takes a step backwards. Jeongguk goes on, ignoring the hurt in Jimin’s eyes, the dark circles which bleed through his makeup. He feels the dam break, all the anger and frustration he’s felt the last week hurled at Jimin.
“Maybe- just maybe if you could actually be a decent human being for once in your life, you’d have one nice article written about you for a change. You’re here acting like I’m the bad guy in this situation, when you’re the one that everyone avoids like the plague!”
Jimin shrinks backwards again. Jeongguk knows he’s being harsh, he knows it’s unprofessional and that he’s taking it too far, but he can’t stop.
“I’m not the bad guy Jimin-ssi. I’m just trying to do my job, and at least I can get through a days work without doping myself up on pills to do it!”
Jimin draws back like he’s been punched, mouth opening but nothing coming out. He’s shaking, eyes red, flushed cheeks melting into the purple circles under his eyes. He glares at Jeongguk for a moment before he shakes his head and turns away, speaking quietly, “I don’t want anything to do with someone like you. You’re just like everyone else. You say you’re not the bad guy, but you seem to have no problem judging someone you don’t even know. I can’t trust your journalism will be any different.”
Guilt instantly claws at Jeongguk. He knows he’s crossed the line. He let his temper get the better of him. God, why did he get so worked up? He’s not usually this much of a dick. He’s supposed to be a fucking professional. If Yoongi saw what he just did he’d be in so much trouble.
“Listen-”
“Go home Jeongguk-ssi,” Jimin snaps as he walks away, “we’re done.”
Notes:
I hope you’ve enjoyed the first chapter! What do you think will happen next? More angst? Probably.
Was Jimin in the wrong? Was Jungkook in the wrong? Could this all have been avoided? Please let me know your opinion in the comments :)
Chat to me on Twitter If you want!
Chapter 2: A New Perspective
Chapter Text
To the east of Busan, away from the bustle and glowing lights of the city, in a district called Jung-Dong, you’ll find a small but charming fishing village called Cheongsapo. The buildings are bright and colourful, the harbour full of different coloured fishing boats, the walls decorated with marine themed murals. There are two light houses, a white one and a red one, standing at either side of the harbour.
Cheongsapo is where Jeongguk had grown up. His father was a fisherman, and Jeongguk and his older brother Jung-hyun had spent much of their childhood on their father’s fishing boat, hauling up traps full of crabs which their mother would sell at the fish market. It was hard work, but Jeongguk has nothing but fond memories of his childhood.
He loves Seoul, loves being a part of the hustle and bustle. But it’s only when he finds himself at the waters edge does he realise how much he has missed the ocean.
He stands with his shoes in the sand, the warm sea breeze whipping his hair across his face, plastering his t-shirt to his ribs. It’s evening, and the sky is painted in a kaleidoscope of deep purples and blues, blending down onto the horizon and making the sea look inky beneath.
He’s standing on a bank of sand, a small beach which would be missed from the road that runs adjacent. He shifts his weight, feeling the corse sand move underfoot. This beach is- well, it’s not for holiday use. The sand isn’t white and fluffy like the sand on Haeundae or Gwangalli. It has a deeper grey tinge that comes from the rocks jutting out along the sea front.
To his left is a small wooden boathouse, worn white panelling covering its facade. It has a launch ramp leading down into the dark water, and a wooden jetty which stretches out a few metres, floating on blue barrels.
There’s no noise out here. It’s quiet except for the hushed breathing of the sea lapping against the sand, and the occasional creak of the jetty which moves up and down on the waves.
Jeongguk takes a breath, long and slow, willing the ocean to soothe the thoughts running rampant in his head. He can’t stop a certain face from constantly clouding his mind- and it doesn’t help that that face is plastered across every billboard in South Korea.
After his argument with Jimin, Jeongguk had needed to get away. When his heart feels heavy there’s only one place he wants to be. He’d driven home from the filming location, packed a few things and gone straight to the train station. It’s just over a two hour train journey here from Seoul, and it had given Jeongguk plenty of time to think.
He’d fucked up. He’d massively, absolutely fucked up.
Jimin was right. Jeongguk had judged him before he’d even met him. Before Park Jimin had even walked into Young-hee’s office Jeongguk had made up his mind about him, and why? Because of a few trashy Dispatch articles? Some rumours spread by an anti on twitter? A blurry out of context video taken by a sasaeng? Is that really the kind of journalist he is?
Jeongguk groans in frustration, running a hand through his hair. Yes Jimin has been nothing but unpleasant to him since they met. But Young-hee had told him that Jimin hated the press. Of course he isn’t going to want another article written about him if he thinks it’s going to be the same as all the others. He’d been forced into letting Jeongguk shadow him, to write an article he doesn’t want written. Obviously Jimin isn’t going to want him around.
He thinks back to that first day in Jimin’s dressing room. Yeah Jimin had been a dick, but he had agreed to an interview. He could have answered Jeongguk’s questions properly instead of being purposefully awkward, but maybe if Jeongguk had been patient like everyone had told him to be, and had tried to build some sort of trust with Jimin first instead of getting into an argument with him within the first five minutes, things might have gone a bit better.
He should have taken a step back, spent a few days just observing, showing Jimin that he wasn’t a threat. Instead he’d gone in guns blazing and ruined any trust he could have built with Jimin during their very first conversation. He’d told Jimin he wasn’t like all of those other journalists, but had acted exactly like them.
He’d been unprofessional and prejudice. Jimin was right not to trust him.
Jeongguk’s chest tightens again as the hurt on Jimin’s face flashes through his mind, guilt weighing him down, making him sink into the sand.
He takes another breath of the sea air. And another. And another. He gazes out at the fishing vessels on the horizon, their bright spotlights glowing across the dusky water now that the sun is setting and the nights fishing begins.
“So, what brings my little brother out to see me on such short notice?” Jung-hyun says from behind Jeongguk, stepping down off the steps leading up to the boathouse, the wood creaking underfoot before his steps are muffled by the sand.
His brother had followed in their father’s footsteps, and had set up a successful crab fishing business here a few years ago. His parents now run a popular seafood restaurant in the village and Jung-hyun provides them with freshly caught crabs every day.
Jeongguk turns to look at his brother, the wind catching his hair from behind and blowing it forward across his face. He turns and gazes at the ocean again, waiting for his brother to step up beside him. From behind they probably look identical, their builds being similar. In all of Jeongguk’s memories he had always been so much smaller than his brother, but now that he’s grown up they stand at the same height, only their faces reflecting their age gap.
Jeongguk closes his eyes and sighs into the wind that rushes at them from the across the waves. He wonders how far it’s come.
“I just needed to get away for a bit. Work is messing with my head. Sorry if I’m putting you out.”
Jung-hyun laughs gruffly, his voice rough from the sea air, “you know you’re always welcome here, Jeongguk-ah. I’m sure Yoo-jun will be excited to see you… you’re staying for dinner right?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk nods after a moment, “that would be nice, thank you. What’s on the menu?”
“Well, it’s the peak of the season right now. I was out fishing until dawn. You can have the privilege of tasting some of my best produce- freshly caught.”
Jeongguk smiles, “thanks hyung. You know, I can’t eat crab now without thinking of you.”
“Glad to hear that. My crab is the best in South Korea,” he says with a grin, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair like he always has since they were children. Jeongguk lets him do it, comforted by the form of affection. “So, work is stressing you out?”
“Yeah...”
“My little brother the big office worker,” Jung-hyun chuckles, “I still can’t believe it. I always thought you’d take after dad and me and become a fisherman. You always loved being on the water.”
“Yeah, well… maybe if this article I’m trying to write sucks, I’ll just retire and become a fisherman,” Jeongguk huffs and shrugs, “these city folk are always too hard to deal with.”
“Someone giving you a hard time?”
“More like I’m giving them a hard time,” Jeongguk sighs, rubbing his hands over his face.
“Want to talk about it?” Jung-hyun asks softly.
Jeongguk takes another breath, “It’s… there’s someone I’m writing an article about. He doesn’t have a great reputation so I wasn’t thrilled about having to write it. I’d sort of decided I hated him before we’d even met.”
Jung-hyun raises an eyebrow at him.
“I know, I know. I sort of went in guns blazing, and our first conversation resulted in him throwing me out of his dressing room.”
“Sounds like a great start.”
“It gets worse,” Jeongguk sighs, running a hand through his hair, “this morning, we had a huge fight. I said things… stuff I shouldn’t have said. It was really unprofessional hyung, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was just so angry, I don’t even know why.”
Jung-hyun sighs, “You’ve always been hot-headed Jeongguk-ah. Though I thought you’d gotten better the last few years.”
“I have! It’s just- he’s so infuriating. He’s rude and he won’t answer any of my questions. He just glares at me fifty percent of the time, and the other fifty percent he acts like I don’t exist. He’s making it impossible for me to do my job!”
“Okay. So why are you feeling so guilty?”
Jeongguk looks at his brother with wide eyes before dropping his gaze to the floor. Of course his brother can read him like a book.
“I- he said that I judged him without knowing him. That he couldn’t trust that my journalism would be any different… and hyung he’s right. I’ve been so unprofessional. I hated him before I’d even met him, just because of stuff I’d read about him online. I mean, what kind of journalist does that make me?” Jeongguk chuckles bitterly, kicking at the sand by his feet, “the funny thing is, the people close to him seem to love him to bits. So there’s obviously a story there… obviously something is going on that everyone else isn’t seeing, and instead of being a good journalist and trying to figure out what that is I just fucking yelled at him instead…” Jeongguk sighs in defeat, “I fucked up, hyung. He’s never going to trust me now, the article is going to suck, my boss is going to hate me, my career is gonna flop…”
Jung-hyun’s face softens as he turns to face him, “Jeongguk-ah, look at me.” Jeongguk looks up and meets his brother’s eye, “we all make mistakes Jeongguk-ah. You’re a good journalist, I’ve seen what you write, it’s always fair and honest. Maybe you messed up, but you obviously feel bad about it, enough to come down here. You know what you did wrong, so now you know what you have to do to fix it. Trust can be earned back. It takes time, and effort, but if you apologise, and you’re honest and genuine then eventually he’ll see that.”
Jeongguk let’s out the breath he was holding, “You really think so?”
Jung-hyun nods, “I’m not saying it will be easy, but the Jeongguk I know was never one to back down from a challenge.”
Jeongguk chuckles and shakes his head, “you’re right. Thanks hyung.”
“You’re welcome,” Jung-hyun replies, squeezing his shoulder affectionately, “do you want to go out on the boat for a bit? Before dinner?”
Jeongguk straightens up excitedly, “really?”
“Yeah. Just for a bit, hm?” he winks, wrapping his tanned arm around Jeongguk’s shoulder, “I’ve known you longer than you’ve known yourself, Jeongguk-ah. I know what de-stresses you. I know where you’re happiest.”
Jeongguk nods, lips pulling into a grateful smile, “okay, thanks hyung.”
They walk along the jetty to where Jung-hyun’s boat is moored and both climb aboard. The sea is calm tonight, waves gently rocking the boat in a way that Jeongguk feels in his blood.
He pulls a life jacket over his head and sits down to one side as his brother starts up the motor, the boat sputtering to life. There’s a spotlight attached to a mount on the bow, and seeing that the sky is now a deep purple, Jeongguk switches it on. Lighting up the water just in front to avoid any rocks or obstacles like buoys.
They start off out into the ocean, only a few minutes needed for them to be right out of the bay, the land distant and the ocean dark around them. The sky and the sea blend together, so you can’t tell where one ends and the other begins. It’s almost surreal. Jeongguk can feel the fire in his blood extinguishing, the sea air washing away the heavy feeling left over from his confrontation with Jimin.
“Feeling better?” his brother says, the brisk sea breeze whistling across the surface of the water and up around them.
“Much better.”
“Are you going to stay the night? We can lay out a futon.”
“Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks hyung.”
“You’re always welcome Jeongguk-ah.”
As they turn off the motor and drift to a stop, Jeongguk switches the light off and lays back to stare up at the stars, the gentle rocking of the boat soothing his soul. As he watches the stars twinkling above him he feels a new determination to start over with his article, with no preconceived ideas, no prejudice. To try and figure out the enigma that is Park Jimin.
———
Film studio lighting can actually be pretty damn blinding.
Jeongguk had quickly learned this due to accidentally walking right past one and nearly getting his retinas burned off. It has only been a week and a half since he has been a presence on the filming of Jimin’s drama, but he already has a migraine from the huge floodlight-like lamps that light up the set from above, giving the drama that ‘romantic glow’ which is achieved during post production with a shit ton of saturation being added.
Jeongguk is sitting at the back corner of the set, in a chair he hopes he hasn’t stolen from some poor intern. It has become his permanent location while uselessly hanging around set learning nothing but the number of different death stares Park Jimin’s face is able to morph into.
Today is Wednesday, and it’s his first day back on set since their argument out at location. He’d stayed at his brothers Monday night, and had spent yesterday with his parents before returning home in the evening. The break has done him a world of good, and he’s sure Jimin was more than happy to have a day without him.
So far Jimin hasn’t said a word to him. When Jeongguk has needed to be informed about something, he does it through his management. Jimin seems to be avoiding him completely, and Jeongguk honestly doesn’t blame him.
Its a normal filming day, and Jeongguk watches in curiosity as Jimin paces back and forth on set, muttering the lines under his breath and checking the script in his hand for the tenth time that minute. He’s wearing a white doctors coat, apparently filming a scene where he has to say a lot of medical jargon to a patient.
He’s going over his lines as the crew set up the scene when he suddenly gets a phone call. Jeongguk watches as Jimin sees the ID of the caller and his face drops. He says something to Hoseok who nods, his face pulling into a solemn expression as he glances at Jimin’s ringing phone.
Jimin briskly leaves the set, cutting a quick path through the crowd of people who instinctively part like the Red Sea, and disappears into his dressing room for a few minutes. When he eventually returns to set, he looks somber, his eyes downcast and distracted as he almost floats back to Hoseok in a daze.
Jeongguk sits forward a little in his chair and watches as Hoseok cautiously checks him over. He can physically see Jimin gather all his mental strength and try to pull himself together. That must have been one hell of a phone call.
Jimin shakes his head a little, eyes blinking a few times as he picks up his script and starts to read over his lines again. Soon the director calls him onto set and Jimin is positioned in front of those damned blinding lights.
Half of the scene goes off without an issue, but once Jimin gets to the part with the more complex medical terms, he messes up his lines. The director calls cut and they start the scene again. And Jimin messes up the lines again. And again. And again. Jeongguk can see from all the way from back where he’s sitting that Jimin has psyched himself out. He can see his frustration growing, his frayed edges starting to show every time the director yells ‘cut’. Jimin glances in his direction a few times, his shoulders continuing to tighten.
“We can move on to another scene for now, Jimin-ssi,” the director suggest after the eleventh try.
“No,” Jimin snaps, hands closing into fists, “I can do it. I- I just need to look at my script again.”
An assistant runs up to hand Jimin his script and in his frustration, he snatches it a bit too firmly. The assistant stumbles forward, unprepared for how quickly he was going to grab the document. She instantly recoils away from Jimin, bowing a few times apologetically, or maybe in fear, before turning and rushing away. Jeongguk sees a flash of regret in Jimin’s eyes, his lips parting to say something, but the assistant quickly disappears off the set.
“Jimin-ssi, take five minutes,” the director suggests quietly, “I need to adjust the cameras anyway. You can work on your lines.”
Jimin nods slowly and steps to the side. Once behind the cameras, he looks around the crew. Jeongguk assumes he’s searching for the assistant, but shes nowhere to be seen. He watches as Jimin marches over to his dressing room, disappearing inside for a moment and then reappearing as he drains a bottle of water.
Dropping into a chair to the side of the set, Jimin hunches forward to look at the script again, his elbows on his knees, hands gripping at the front of his hair. He’s staring at the script so hard that Jeongguk is almost certain it’s going to burst into flames at any moment.
Jeongguk watches for a little longer before he takes a breath and stands up. He’s not even sure why, but he walks over to Jimin, dragging a chair across and sitting directly opposite him. He mirrors Jimin’s posture, leaning his elbows on his knees, tilting his head to the side, and he feels a heat in his stomach when Jimin’s eyes flick up from his script to meet his own.
“What do you want?” he snaps, brows draw down.
“Show me the lines you’re having trouble with,” Jeongguk nods toward the crumpled script in Jimin’s tight fists.
Jimin just stares at him, “…why?”
Jeongguk shrugs, “I might be able to help. I mean, those are some long words… do the writers of this drama hate you or something?”
“Probably. Most people do,” Jimin replies dejectedly.
Something in Jeongguk’s chest tugs at that. Although Jimin says it as an offhand comment, almost as a joke at his own expense to show it doesn’t affect him, Jeongguk can still hear the echo of hurt behind the words.
“Well, let me help you out.”
Jimin frowns, “I don’t need your help. Just-” he clutches the script to his chest. He looks tired again, those same dark circles under his eyes visible even through the thick makeup, “You being here is messing with my head too much. I don’t need this right now. Just- leave me alone, please.”
Jeongguk looks at Jimin and nods, “okay, i’ll call it a day for today.”
Jimin’s eyes widen in disbelief, “…what? You’ll leave?”
Jeongguk nods, “if it’ll help you get through those lines?”
“I- yeah,” Jimin nods, “it would actually.”
“Okay. I’ll head out then.”
“Okay...” Jimin looks at him like he can’t actually believe what Jeongguk is saying.
Jeongguk gives one last nod to Jimin and Hoseok who has scurried over to fix Jimin’s hair again, “are you leaving? Hoseok asks, “we’re not even half way through the day.”
“Yeah, it’s cool. I can get some writing done this afternoon. See you tomorrow.”
“Okay, see you tomorrow Jeongguk-ssi,” Hoseok says with a smile. Jimin only nods, biting at his thumb nail incessantly as he focussing back on his lines.
Jeongguk leaves the set and makes his way to the studio’s canteen. Well you could say canteen, it’s more of a high end food court offering all sorts of dishes. The crew and cast from different productions flitter in and out, busy due to it being around midday.
On a table in the corner, next to a large window, sits Kim Seokjin and Kim Taehyung, resting between scenes. Taehyung sits with his legs tucked up on his chair, a deck of cards spread out on the table in front of him, while Seokjin rests with his legs crossed elegantly looking at his phone in his hand.
Seeing Jeongguk, Taehyung waves him over, pulling out a chair next to him “Hi! Jeongguk-ssi right?”
Jeongguk bows a greeting, “yes, we met briefly at the beginning of the week. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to properly introduce myself at that time.”
“It’s okay, I could see you weren’t expecting Jimin to have fled to another part of the country,” Taehyung chuckles, “would you like to sit with us.”
Jeongguk nods and slides into the chair next to him, the actor smiling brightly, “so you’re from GQ Magazine right? I did a cover shoot with them recently.”
“Yeah I remember, you looked really good. They said you brought a certain vintage vibe to the cover, which hasn’t really been seen before. The editor-in-chief loved it,” Jeongguk replies.
“That’s great,” Taehyung smiles leaning to the side a little as he eyes up the game of solitaire he’s playing with concentration, “I love vintage vibes so that works for me. So, now you’re doing an article on our Jiminie?”
Jiminie? So these guys are really close to him too then? “Um, well I’m trying,” Jeongguk laughs awkwardly, “he’s making it sort of difficult for me to get anywhere with it.”
Taehyung sighs, “Jimin only interacts with the press when it’s completely necessary. He doesn’t even respond to all the ridiculous rumours anymore. He says it makes no difference how people view him.”
Seokjin glances over the top of his phone at Jeongguk, “Jimin has always had issues with the press. Ever since he was young, they’ve torn into him at every opportunity. I mean, I got into this line of work later in life and even I found it hard when a few negative articles were written about me on Naver. I can’t imagine what’s it’s like when it’s been happening to you for over 20 years.” He places his phone down onto the table, and looks at Jeongguk with a suspicious expression, “so how about you, Jeongguk-ssi?” he raises an eyebrow, “are you here to start shit?”
“Huh?” Jeongguk’s eyes widen at the question and he shakes his head, feeling the intensity of Seokjin’s glare, “Oh- no no, I’m not that sort of journalist,” he reassures.
Seokjin stares at him with narrow eyes as if trying to figure him out, then he smiles like Jeongguk has passed some silent test, nodding to himself in satisfaction, “okay then. I don’t get bad vibes from you.”
“Me neither,” Taehyung nods “he passes my vibe check.”
Seokjin sighs, “I’ve had enough of people trying to mosey up to Jimin and us just to try and get some sort of dirt on him. It’s happened too many times, my poor baby.”
Taehyung nods sadly in agreement. Jeongguk looks back and forth between them, hoping his face isn’t portraying his disbelief too much. Just like Hoseok, these guys seem genuinely nice, and they seem to genuinely love Jimin. Why are all Jimin’s friends so kind, when he seems like such a contrast?
Jeongguk clears his throat, “uh, to be honest, Jimin and I got off to a bit of a rocky start… I don’t think he likes me at all.”
“That’s a shame,” Taehyung sighs, looking up from the cards in his hands, “though not surprising. It takes Jimin a while to trust people. He took a long time to open up to me and Seokjin, thinking that we were only trying to be friends with him for our own gain and publicity. Which was bullshit, of course.”
“Complete bullshit,” Seokjin nods, “hey Taehyung-ah, deal out some cards, let’s play a game of poker,” he stretches his long arms above his head, the sleeves of his shirt brushing his chestnut brown hair, “we’ve got time to kill until our next scene.” He turns to Jeongguk, “fancy a game?”
Jeongguk is surprised that these A- list celebrities are so friendly and down to earth, but he doesn’t let it show, nodding instead, “sure. Deal me in.”
“Let’s get it,” Taehyung grins, flicking an elegant wrist to deal out the cards to each player across the table as Seokjin moves his drink out of the way.
“So have you been friends with Jimin-ssi for a long time?” Jeongguk asks curiously.
“Not as long as Hoseok, obviously, but around eight years now, right?” Seokjin waits for Taehyung’s nod of confirmation before continuing, picking up a card and studying it, “we worked on a movie with Jimin when we were both first getting into acting, and Hoseok would do our wardrobe sometimes when the stylists needed help. We got on really well with him, and he would always say that Jimin was really nice and we should make an effort with him because he didn’t really have any friends.”
Taehyung smiles a nostalgic smile, “Jimin used to just hide in his dressing room… well, sort of like he does now, actually,” he laughs softly, “but we kept trying to make friends with him after what Hoseok said. It took a little while, but eventually he opened up to us and we haven’t looked back since.”
“Remember that night the four of us sat by the Han river at 3am just chatting?” Seokjin asks Taehyung and he nods, “that was the night I realised that Jimin really is one of the the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Seriously. Its crazy how wrongly he is portrayed to others.”
“It’s all bullshit,” Tae says stiffly, “just because he’s shy around people he doesn’t know, and isn’t all bubbly and loud, everyone automatically think he’s rude or stuck up,” he turns to look at Jeongguk, “It’s like- we all have bad days right? You know those days where you’re just feeling grouchy and don’t really want to talk to anyone?” Jeongguk nods. He has one of those days at least once a week. Sometimes twice.
Taehyung continues, “well if Jimin has one of those days, it ends up plastered all over the front page. Articles saying he’s arrogant and unapproachable, just because he’s a little bit grumpy. He can’t even have a bad day, like every other normal human being has, without it being twisted and made into something it’s not. It’s ridiculous honestly. I don’t know how he deals with it all,” he shakes his head, “he is one strong little bean.”
Jeongguk wonders if every rumour about Jimin is just some exaggerated story. Some random persons opinion that has been blown out of proportion as it’s been whispered from ear to ear until it soaks into the tabloids.
“Yeah, well if anyone wants to mess with him they’ll have to go through me,” Seokjin says menacingly, and Jeongguk can see from the quirk in his brow that he isn’t kidding.
Jeongguk nods as he listens to the others speak. He finds it hard to draw the line between the Jimin they are talking about and the one he has encountered. It’s like the person they’re speaking about is someone that Jeongguk has never met. He feels a sort of curiosity, and something else a bit deeper in his chest. Like when people tell a story about a fun party they’ve been to, and you feel a little sad that you’ve missed out on such a fun memory that they all share.
Jeongguk reaches forward and takes his go, resting his chin on his hand as the turn passes to Taehyung. Maybe if he had kept his cool in the first place, he would have been able to get a glimpse of the person they talk about. Instead all he faces are walls which he single-handedly caused to be built.
He loses track of time as he plays cards with Taehyung and Seokjin. It’s nice to just hang out with decent people. They remind him a lot of Namjoon and Yoongi. As he watches Taehyung get frustrated when Seokjin effortlessly wins yet another game, he thinks to himself that they would probably get on really well if they all hung out together.
“What are you doing?” a disgruntled voice comes from behind Jeongguk that he has come to know all too well. He turns to see Jimin standing standing there, eyes flitting across the poker game before landing back on Jeongguk, “you said you would leave.”
“Oh, I was leaving, I just got caught up in a spontaneous poker game with Seokjin-ssi and Taehyung-ssi. Want to join?”
“No,” Jimin bites out.
“Please, you can call us both hyung,” Seokjin says, resting his chin in his palm, “I like your vibe, Jeongguk-ah. It fits in well with my aesthetic. You can come and hang with us anytime.”
“Hyung!” Jimin’s eyes widen like he can’t quite believe what’s happening. He glares at Jeongguk, the icy stare pinning Jeongguk to his seat, “are you interviewing them like you did Hobi-hyung? Are you trying to get dirt on me?”
Jeongguk sighs, “no, I’m not, I’m literally just playing a friendly game of poker. They invited me,” he pushes his chair out and stands up, “and now I’m leaving. Okay?”
“Jeongguk-ah, don’t go yet. We haven’t finished our game,” Seokjin complains.
“Jiminie, I don’t think he’s like the others. He seems really nice,” Taehyung adds.
Jimin cautiously steps back as Jeongguk moves, his glare faltering a little, his eyes flickering from Jeongguk to Seokjin and Taehyung.
“It was really nice to meet you,” Jeongguk says with a smile, bowing to Taehyung and Seokjin.
“You’ve got our numbers,” Seokjin nods.
“Let’s hang out again soon,” Taehyung pouts, waving his hand.
Jeongguk turns to Jimin, “listen…before I go, I want to apologise for the things I said the other day. You were right, how I acted was unprofessional and I’m sorry.”
Jimin looks taken aback, his frown morphing into a look of confusion as he studies Jeongguk’s face, like he’s trying to figure out a difficult puzzle. Jeongguk can practically see the cogs turning behind his eyes.
“Did you finish your scene?” Jeongguk asks.
“Huh?” Jimin snaps from his thoughts, “Um- yes?”
“That’s good,” Jeongguk nods with a smile. He gestures to the exit behind him with his thumb, “I’m definitely leaving now.” He bows a farewell, offering Jimin a smile, “See you tomorrow, Jimin-ssi.” Jimin just stares at him in confusion, like he has no idea what just happened.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath as he walks away. Jimin probably wasn’t expecting an apology after the horrible downwards spiral their relationship had quickly taken. But Jeongguk feels lighter for it.
As he walks out of the cafeteria Jeongguk glances back over his shoulder. Jimin is still standing where he left him, next to Seokjin and Taehyung who are invested in a game of cards at the table. He’s watching Jeongguk with an unreadable expression. Jeongguk gives a small nod as he turns and leaves.
———
The next morning, Jeongguk happens to arrive in the parking lot at exactly the same time that Jimin climbs out of the back seat of his car, Hoseok slipping out behind him. He has his mask on as usual, bare faced, product free hair hanging forward over his eyes. This time he has a large bag from a local patisserie in his hand, carrying it carefully as he looks at his phone.
“Good morning,” Jeongguk jogs to catch up with them as the pair make their way to the set.
“Good morning, Jeongguk-ssi,” Hoseok smiles politely. Jimin only glances up from his phone, frowning at his presence. Jeongguk however, is working on his patience, so he decides to be the bigger person and continue to smile politely.
As the three of them walk across the parking lot Jeongguk glances again at the bag in Jimin’s hand, “what have you got there?”
Jimin pulls the bag in front of himself, throwing Jeongguk a sharp look over his shoulder, “nothing.”
Jeongguk holds his hands up innocently, “I was just making conversation.” Jimin turns to look at him, his eyes flickering around Jeongguk’s features in suspicion. He looks back down at his phone without responding, fingers tightening a little around the device as he shifts on his feet.
Jeongguk glances over Jimin’s shoulder, seeing that he’s scrolling through the recent Naver articles on his phone. He frowns when he notices that Jimin has typed his own name into the search bar and is scrolling through the recent results.
He remembers what Seokjin and Taehyung had said about Jimin being shredded by the media from a young age. Every day his name is mentioned somewhere, news sites and magazines jumping on the fact that his fans and the general public will click on anything with his name in the title- positive or negative.
He feels his stomach drop a little when he realises that Jimin must start off his day by searching his name, waiting to see what has been written about him each morning. He can’t imagine living like that, with everyone’s eyes on you, your name on everyone’s tongue. Jeongguk feels overwhelmed even thinking about it.
They walk through the entrance to the studio and Jimin instantly starts to walk faster, holding the bag close to his chest as he moves with purpose towards his dressing room. Hoseok lets out a surprises sound, and jogs to catch up until they both disappear into the room.
Jeongguk strolls down the corridor and past Jimin’s dressing room until he is in the main studio. He makes himself comfortable in his usual chair in the corner of the set, pulling out his laptop from his bag and sitting it on his crossed legs to send an update email to Yoongi.
After a few minutes Jimin’s dressing room door opens. Jeongguk looks up from his laptop in curiosity and sees Hoseok appear with the bag Jimin had been holding. He walks over to the snack table, which is usually stocked up throughout the day with snacks and finger foods, making the long day of filming more tolerable for the cast and crew.
It’s still early, and no one really notices him as he carefully and quickly sets out an expensive looking array of pastries, cakes and tarts. By the time he’s done opening the fancy boxes and positioning them around, he has filled almost half the table. Once he’s finished he nods in satisfaction and hurries back into the dressing room.
As the production crew slowly fill the room, preparing for the day of filming, a small crowd forms around the delicious sweet buffet. They all seem surprised, instantly recognising the brand on the boxes and quickly grabbing a selection.
With his makeup and wardrobe done, Jimin appears from his dressing room, walking out onto the set and standing to the side as he goes over his script one last time. Hoseok follows him, straightening out his outfit and making sure his makeup is perfect. He frowns slightly and dabs at Jimin’s under eyes, adding more concealer. He looks like he chastises Jimin a little, gesturing at his eyes. Jimin’s lips tug up at the corner as he says something back to him, looking up from his script and shrugging. Hoseok pouts and slaps softly at Jimin’s shoulder, shaking his head.
Jeongguk looks back at the staff eating the treats, “Wow, look at all this,” one of the staff states with a plate full of pastries.
“Who brought these?”
“Nobody knows.”
“They’re so delicious, they’re from that patisserie aren’t they? The famous one?”
“Yeah. They’re so expensive! This must have cost a fortune!”
“Jihoo-ah, aren’t you always going on about how much you love this patisserie? It’s your favourite right?”
The woman, Jihoo, steps forward and Jeongguk instantly recognises her as the assistant that Jimin had snatched the script off of and frightened the day before. She has a strawberry tart in her hand, and a smile on her lips, “yes, it’s my absolute favourite,” she squeaks, “but it’s so expensive, I only go there on my birthday as a treat. I can’t believe someone got all this, it’s like a table made up just for me! This is the best day ever!” she giggles, and her colleagues laugh.
Jeongguk glances at Jimin, and sees him watching, a tiny echo of a smile on his lips at her words. He looks relieved. That’s when Jeongguk puts two and two together. It’s obviously no secret that the assistant- Jihoo - loves that patisserie. Even the crew seem to know. And apparently so does Jimin.
Jimin, who is known for his ‘fits of rage’ feels so guilty for accidentally scaring one of the staff that he has literally brought half a patisserie to apologise. The Park Jimin who is famed for being interested in no one but himself, listens and knows what the staff’s preferences are, takes an interest in what those around him are saying even when he looks like he is absorbed in his own work.
The more Jeongguk seems to learn about Jimin, the more it all seems to contrast what he has heard. He places his laptop to the side and walks to the table, picking up an eclair, taking a bite. The buttery pastry and sweet berry cream filling fills his mouth, and he nearly moans because it’s fucking delicious. As he stands and listens to the entire crew gushing over what a wonderful treat this is Jeongguk can’t help but feel irritated.
No one knows that it’s Jimin who’s done this. The assistant, Jihoo, has no idea that Jimin is apologising to her. Why doesn’t he just tell them? Why doesn’t he apologise to her directly? It might change peoples opinions of him.
With the pastry still in his mouth he walks over to where Jimin is sitting on a chair reading his lines.
“Thank you for the pastries. They’re really delicious.”
Jimin just ignores him.
“The treats you bought…”
Jimin still ignores him.
“Why don’t you tell everyone they are from you?”
Jimin looks up at him with a frown, “because it doesn’t matter.”
“But you’re apologising to that assistant right? For scaring her when you grabbed the script yesterday. I saw what happened.”
Jimin’s frown deepens, “What, are you gonna put that in your article?”
“Wh- no!” Jeongguk says frustratedly, “I just don’t get it. You’ve done something really nice and no one even knows. Why don’t you just apologise in person? It’s like you don’t even want to try to change peoples opinions of you. I don’t understand.”
Jimin stands up, glaring at Jeongguk, “no you don’t understand, so why don’t you just back off!” He turns and storms to his dressing room, slamming the door closed behind him with a bang.
Jeongguk sighs, running a hand through his hair as he drops down into the chair Jimin has vacated. Hoseok steps up beside Jeongguk, tucking his hands into his pocket and smiling softly, “he’s always been that way.”
“Hm?” Jeongguk tears his eyes away from the dressing room door to look up at Hoseok, “like what?”
“When I first entered the dorms connected to our school when I was thirteen, I was told I would be put in the same dorm room as Jimin. I’d heard about him being a child actor, and that he would be pulled out from time to time to film. I thought that he was going to be arrogant, and to be honest, I was dreading it. But I was so surprised that he was just really shy and quiet.”
He sighs, shrugging his shoulders, “anyway, I remember I came back to the dorm one night and one of my photo frames had been knocked off the side and the edge of the glass had cracked in it. Well, I didn’t really think much of it, I had plenty of pictures on my desk and hey, accidents happen. But after that I kept finding little gifts left on my bed for me. Some sweets, a piece of my favourite cake from the canteen, a fancy pen. Then a replacement frame eventually.”
“Jimin was leaving you all those things?”
“Yeah. When I finally confronted him about it he went as red as a tomato,” Hoseok laughs fondly, “that’s how I figured out it must have been him. He was so shy that he couldn’t even look me in the eye, and he kept denying it. I realised then how sweet he really was. People assumed he was stuck up because he was a child star from a famous family, but really he just wanted friends like everyone else.”
Jeongguk looks back towards Jimin’s dressing room as the door opens and he walks onto the set, getting into position in front of the camera. He imagines him as the shy school boy who felt so bad for damaging a photo frame that he would sneak apology gifts into his friends bed.
“After that I wouldn’t leave him alone,” Hoseok sighs, looking at Jimin fondly, “and he’s been stuck with me ever since.”
“So the pastries…” Jeongguk asks, gesturing at the table.
“I guess old habits die hard,” Hoseok smiles.
———
“I didn’t expect to see you back in the office so soon,” Namjoon says, perching in the end of Jeongguk’s desk, “did you get dropped from writing that article already?”
Jeongguk groans, pushing his hand through his hair and hitting the space bar harder than needed “…I wish.”
“Still not going well?”
Jeongguk looks up at Namjoon, “It’s safe to say that I’m not enjoying my work right now. It’s just…he doesn’t make it easy for me at all. It could all go so much smoother if he would just work with me.”
“And who might we be talking about?”
“Who do you think?” Jeongguk sighs, leaning back in his chair, downing half of his cup of coffee it in an attempt to wake up after another restless night.
“I heard he’s coming in for the cover shoot, is that why you’re here?”
“Yeah. I thought I’d come in a bit earlier seeing that I’m getting no sleep anyway. Just working on some of the articles I put on hold for this one.”
“I though Yoongi-hyung said to only focus on your article about Park Jimin.”
“Well, he isn’t here.”
“Good morning,” Yoongi says from behind them, causing Jeongguk to almost jump out of his skin, slamming his laptop closed on his desk. Namjoon lets out a laugh, rocking back against the desk as Yoongi eyes them suspiciously. “Jeongguk-ah, Park Jimin is due in for his cover photoshoot in fifteen minutes, better get down there. This photoshoot is for your article, so you’ll need to tell the team what you want from it, okay? I’m leaving the creative control to you.”
“Yessir,” Jeongguk groans, rolling backwards in his chair before swivelling round and begrudgingly walking towards the elevator. What he wants from it? He doesn’t even know at this point. With all his past articles, he knew exactly what sort of tone he was going for, what direction he wanted the shoot to go. With this article on Jimin, he doesn’t even know where to begin. He’s not used to picking up a pen and putting it to paper, but no words coming out. It’s frustrating. Especially being on a deadline.
Jeongguk leans against the back of the elevator, letting his head drop forward. His mind feels so full and yet so empty. And whenever he tries to think about Jimin, he will instinctively think about something else, like his mind is running from him. He’s spent two weeks shadowing Jimin and he’s still no closer to figuring him out.
The doors open with a ding, and Jeongguk wills himself forward. Once he arrives at the photo studio, he finds it full of staff hard at work, getting everything ready for when Jimin arrives. After spending the last two weeks at the studios where Jimin’s drama is being filmed, Jeongguk has realised that even a photoshoot is the product of many peoples individual work combined.
Lights are being fixed properly, wardrobe artists are steaming outfit’s at the side. Unlike the film studio, there isn’t a separate dressing room. Instead, in the corner, long black curtains make up a discrete changing cubicle, with an area for hair and makeup set up along the wall beside it. The studio is large and open, a simple deep white background set up ready and waiting with a camera is set on a tripod, flanked by huge umbrella shaped lighting stands.
The photographer, Kim Kyung-Soo is adjusting the settings on his camera. He’s renowned in the fashion industry, having shot editorials for the likes of Chanel and Louis Vuitton. He’s talking to the artistic director Hwang Moon. Jeongguk worked with Hwang Moon during Park Young-hee’s photoshoot and it was trying to say the least. He’s rather eccentric, known for being a perfectionist, a visionary. But he does produce beautiful photos which push boundaries and fit the aesthetic of GQ perfectly.
Jeongguk walks over, bowing a greeting to them both. They’ve all worked together before, so there’s a professional familiarity there which dismisses any awkwardness. “How exciting that you are writing such a large piece on Park Jimin,” Hwang Moon chirps, “he doesn’t usually do these kind of articles, I’m surprised he agreed to it.” He didn’t Jeongguk wants to say, but bites his tongue. “I’ve set up some outfits ready for the shoot,” Hwang Moon continues, “if you’d like to take a look?”
“I trust your judgement,” Jeongguk says dismissively. If he’s honest with himself, he doesn’t have any sort of emotional investment in the cover-shoot. He’d rather leave it to the professionals, trusting that they will make Jimin look good. It’s not like they have a hard job, Jimin could wear a trash bag and still look amazing.
“When is he due to come?” Kyung-Soo asks Jeongguk.
“Nine o’clock, I was told,” Jeongguk says, watching in interest as the people around him go about their jobs.
“Okay good, let’s make sure everything is ready for him and his team.”
At nine o’clock on the dot Jimin walks through the door of the studio, flanked by his team of managers, and of course Hoseok. His hood hangs low over his face, hands tucked into his pockets. He’s wearing the usual casual clothes which Jeongguk has grown accustomed to seeing him in, his face bare and hair un-styled. Even when he is dressed so unassuming, he still has an aura around him which draws all eyes in the room to him.
He greets Kim Kyung-Soo and Hwang Moon with a bow, and a polite smile, which they return in the same manner of professionalism. Jimin’s eyes move briefly to Jeongguk, before looking away.
“Welcome, Park Jimin-ssi,” Hwang Moon says, “it’s an honour to work with you again.”
“And you, Hwang Moon-ssi,” Jimin replies with a nod.
“If you follow me, I’ll talk you through my vision for your shoot today. Jimin follows Hwang Moon over to a table where there seems to be some sort of mood board set out. Jeongguk has worked on more than one photoshoot with the artistic director and has learned not to question his methods.
When the briefing ends, Jimin is ushered to the makeup and wardrobe area by the stylists who can barely contain their excitement, star struck by being this close to THE Park Jimin. Jeongguk follows behind with Hoseok.
Mirrors with lights line the wall and beside that is where Hoseok quickly gets to work on his makeup, dabbing at his under eyes with thick concealer. Jimin’s face looks a little sunken, exhaustion clear in his heavy eyes. He looks like he hasn’t slept in a while.
“Good morning,” Jeongguk says from behind them, stepping to the side as a stylist hurries past him.
Jimin’s eyes flicker up to look at Jeongguk through the mirror, “you have an amazing talent of appearing at the worst times, Jeongguk-ssi. You’re everywhere I don’t want you.”
“Hey, this time you’ve come to my place of work,” Jeongguk counters, moving round to perch on the edge of the table. He cocks his brow, waiting for Jimin’s retort. Jimin just closes his eyes as Hoseok applies his makeup like he’s trying to block Jeongguk out and ignore his entire existence.
“Good morning, Jeongguk-ssi,” Hoseok says with that large heart shaped smile, “nice place you’ve got here,” he gestures around them with his makeup brush, “no wonder you’re always dressed so well, if you work in a building like this.”
Jeongguk’s lips pull into a smile “you think I dress well?” he asks, looking down at his clothes. He supposes he puts some effort into looking smart when he’s in the office. Not so much when he’s in his casual clothes. He shrugs, “I guess I do? You sort of have to look the part when you’re in this sort of industry.”
“Well you always look great. I was saying it to Jimin the other day, wasn’t I, Jimin-ah?” Hoseok prompts.
“You were talking about me?” Jeongguk asks, raising an eyebrow in surprise. Jimin tenses, opening his eyes to glare at Jeongguk.
“No. I actually forgot you existed until this moment.”
Jeongguk tilts his head, holding Jimin’s stare, “I wish I could say the same, Jimin-ssi. But you seem to have the opposite affect on me.”
Jimin’s stony expression falters. He opens his mouth to say something, but only sputters and then closes it again.
Hoseok chuckles at the exchange, dusting powder under Jimin’s eyes, “what’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means I’ve had more than one sleepless night recently because of this article,” Jeongguk sighs, pushing himself off the desk and standing with his hands tucked into his pockets. He glances down at Jimin who doesn’t respond, closing his eyes again.
“Umm excuse me, Jimin-ssi?” a wardrobe assistant Jeongguk doesn’t recognise appears beside them, “if you’re ready, we have your outfit for you to change into.”
Jimin nods, standing from his chair, avoiding Jeongguk’s eyes as he brushes past him. The scent of orange blossoms floats across Jeongguk’s nose. It’s fresh and pleasant. Almost sweet. When seeing Jimin all made up, his eyes dark and smoky, it seems like a contrast, but when Jimin is in his casual clothes, bare faced and soft looking, Jeongguk thinks the scent matches him perfectly.
“So, here is the first outfit,” the assistant says, making heart eyes at Jimin as she hands him the outfit, taking him in from a proximity that she probably never thought she would have the possibility of doing in her lifetime.
Jimin stills, “I- this is all of it?”
“Um… yes,” she says, voice wavering, “is there a problem?” Her expression fills with worry as she glances towards Hwang Moon, and back at Jimin.
“I… it’s…” Jimin starts to say something, but instead stops and shakes his head, “it’s fine.”
The wardrobe assistant sighs in relief, “you can get changed over here,” she says, gesturing to a heavy curtain which covers the changing area.
Jimin looks at the minimal fabric in his hands with a frown before looking back up and nodding politely. He walks to the cubicle and disappears behind the curtain, calling out for Hoseok to come and help him, which he does. A few minutes later, Hoseok pulls back the curtain, stepping out with a concerned look on his face. He steps aside as Jimin emerges completely from the dressing room.
He’s wearing a pair of very tight black leather shorts and some sort of black wiry fishnet bodysuit. It has long sleeves that cover his hands, and some strategically placed holes in the mesh over his chest and stomach. It’s extremely revealing. Jimin might as well be topless because that monstrosity leaves nothing to the imagination.
The stringy material exposes Jimin’s torso completely. He has a tattoo across his ribs which is now fully exposed, and Jeongguk reads the word ‘Nevermind’ as Jimin’s hands come up to cover it. He wraps his arms around himself protectively, staring down at the floor.
Jeongguk’s heart clenches. And it’s not because of how much of Jimin’s skin he can see. It’s because of the look on Jimin’s face. He looks so uncomfortable, like he hopes the floor will open up and swallow him whole. It’s pretty obvious he doesn’t want to wear it and Jeongguk doesn’t blame him. So why doesn’t he say something? He’s Park fucking Jimin. Why is he just going along with it?
“Um, I think we managed to figure out how it goes on…” Hoseok laughs awkwardly, “there’s uh…not much of it.”
Hwang Moon suddenly appears, “yes yes that’s the point. Jimin-ssi has a great physique, he can pull it off,” he says dismissively, “now let me see… yes, this is perfect. It will push the boundaries of fashion. With this on the cover combined with the article, this issue will be our best seller, I just know it. Well, let’s get started then,” he looks at the staff around him expectantly, “chop chop,” he says, clapping his hands.
The people around scatter, and an assistant ushers Jimin towards the centre of the room where a large white backdrop has been prepared under bright lights. Numerous eyes linger on Jimin as he walks, and he tightens his arms around himself. That’s when Jeongguk steps in front of him.
“You feel uncomfortable don’t you?”
Jimin blinks up at him, “what?”
“It’s not hard to see you’re uncomfortable in whatever that is,” he gestures down Jimin’s body, and Jimin holds his hands up to cover his chest, “…why don’t you tell them you don’t want to wear it?”
Jimin sighs, and moves to push past him. Jeongguk steps in front again, blocking his path, “Jimin-ssi it’s your body. You don’t have to wear something you don’t feel comfortable in. Just tell them you want a different outfit.”
“You don’t get it,” Jimin snaps, his voice little more than a whisper, “if I kick up a fuss over something as trivial as an outfit choice it will be all over tomorrows headlines. They’ll say I’m demanding and difficult, and I’ll be labelled a diva for the rest of my life.”
“They wouldn’t write something as stupid as that.”
“They have before- and for much less. It’s not my first rodeo,” Jimin says bitterly, “I’ve learned to pick my battles.”
Jeongguk steps aside, watching stunned as Jimin steps in front of the camera, shifting uncomfortably as the all eyes in the room fall onto him in his skimpy attire. Jeongguk feels his anger stir. The fact that Jimin feels like he can’t be in control of his own body has Jeongguk seething.
“Jimin-ssi, you look great,” Hwang Moon grins.
“It’s an interesting look…” the photographer says, raising the camera to his eye, “I just need you to relax a bit, you’re looking a little stiff-“
“I don’t like it,” Jeongguk shouts loudly. The room turns to look at him in shock, including Jimin who watches with wide eyes as he marches on to the set and stands in front of him, blocking him from the camera.
“What are you doing?” Jimin whisper yells from behind him, sounding confused.
“I guess I’ll be the diva this time,” Jeongguk replies over his shoulder.
“Jeongguk-ssi, what’s wrong?” Hwang Moon asks.
“I know you asked me what outfits I would like, and I know I said I would leave it to you. But this look- it doesn’t go with the vibe of my article. I would like Jimin-ssi in something different.”
“W-what? Jeongguk-ssi, I appreciate your opinion but this photoshoot needs to go ahead without delay-“
“Jimin-ssi is used to quick changes. I’m sure it won’t take long,” Jeongguk counters, still standing in front of Jimin like a shield, the lights bright in his face.
Hwang Moon sputters, “B-but this is what I envisioned!”
“And this is for my article. The editor in chief gave me creative control over everything linked to it,” Jeongguk’s smiles apologetically, “I know this puts you all out, and I’m sorry. But I need the outfit changed.”
He turns around and motions for Jimin to follow him while Hwang Moon glares at him with a death stare that could rival Jimin’s. He leads Jimin back over to the where the clothing rack stands against the wall.
“Here, pick what you want to wear,” he says, gesturing to the different outfits hanging on the rack. Jimin looks a him with an unreadable expression before turning to look through the rack. He chooses a white shirt, black pants, and a longline black jacket with a red trim.
When Jimin steps back in front of the camera in the new outfit he looks comfortable and confident. For a moment his eyes lock with Jeongguk’s. He gives a small nod, and then turns to look straight at the camera.
Jeongguk has seen plenty of photos of Jimin, on billboards and in magazines, but seeing the behind the scenes is a whole different story.
Jimin’s eyes are fierce and deep as he looks down the lens, changing his angles with every flash of the camera, holding a particular pose for longer when it gets a good response from the photographer and Hwang Moon, who sits in his chair behind the monitors, looking through the photos with sparkling eyes.
He moves like a dancer, twisting his body into shapes Jeongguk knows his own body could never make. The way he moves is elegant and beautiful, and Jeongguk can’t tear his eyes away.
He hates to admit it, but Jimin is damn good at his job. He’s watching the monitors over Hwang Moon’s shoulder and doesn’t have to be a genius to see that they’ve probably got the shot within the first five frames.
Once the shoot wraps up, Jimin makes his way back to the cubicle in the corner to change into his own clothes. After a few minutes he appears from behind the curtain, adjusting his top slightly. He says something to Hoseok who says something back, looking in Jeongguk’s direction. Jimin makes his way to the exit, bowing goodbye to the staff and crew around the room as he goes.
As he passes Jeongguk he pauses, taking a breath before glancing up at him. “Thank you,” he whispers softly before leaving the room, followed by a smirking Hoseok.
———
After a sudden change in schedule, Jeongguk has somehow found himself sitting in the back seat of Jimin’s car. He’s sat beside Hoseok who it sitting in the middle, with Jimin to his left.
“I’m sorry about this last minute change to your schedule, Jimin-ssi. But promotions wise- this interview will be great publicity for the drama. Jo Se-ho’s show is popular with the demographic that the drama is aiming towards,” explains Jimin’s manager.
“It’s fine,” Jimin shrugs, looking out of the tinted window. Jeongguk rests his head to the side slightly and studies Jimin’s profile. His soft blonde has been styled slightly wavy, resting against his cheekbone. He’s chewing at his thumb nail, his eyes moving to follow the buildings zooming past. He has already had his makeup applied by Hoseok ready for a day of filming before the sudden change of plans.
“We’ll be there in five minutes,” manager Lee says, looking at his phone, “the prerecorded interview shouldn’t take more than half an hour and then we can get back to today’s filming schedule.”
“Mhm,” Jimin hums in reply.
The studio where the show is recorded doesn’t have a parking lot, just a lay-by a little way in front of the building where drop offs and pick ups are allowed. As they arrive, Manager Lee makes quick work of ushering Jimin out of the car and into the entrance of the building, Hoseok following closely behind. They move quickly but as Jeongguk hurries along behind them, he sees how many people seem to notice Jimin straight away. He can’t deny his popularity.
The tv studio is made to look like the living room of a house, an arm chair set up for the MC and a white sofa for the guest. Once they walk into the studio, Jimin is quickly rushed in front of the camera and sat down on the sofa. A technician comes to wire him up with a microphone as Hoseok fixes up his makeup, whispering something to him.
The MC, Jo Se-ho makes his way casually into the studio, sitting down and looking through his cue cards as a makeup artist touches up his makeup. Jeongguk recognises him of course. He’s a popular tv personality, having his own prime time show. He looks arrogant. He hasn’t even greeted Jimin yet, and simply the way he’s sitting, lounging cross legged on his chair pisses Jeongguk off.
After a while, Se-ho looks up at Jimin, smiling an almost condescending smile and bowing just a little, waiting for Jimin to do the same. Jimin had already bowed a greeting to him when he had entered, but of course Se-ho didn’t see it, too caught up in his own cloud of arrogance. Jimin bows again, smiling a tight polite smile as Hoseok squeezes his shoulder and makes his way off to the side.
The producer calls a sharp “action” and suddenly they’re filming. It’s all so sudden. If Jeongguk was in Jimin’s position he would be completely overwhelmed, but Jimin simply sits up straight, smiling a polite smile at the MC as he introduces his show.
“Now I’d like to welcome our special guest who really needs no introduction. He’s at the top of his career, making headlines across the country for better or for worse. The nations eye-candy, Park Jimin!”
Jeongguk feels his brows draw down. That was a bit of a backhanded introduction. He glances around at the crew, who simply watch on. Someone pushes a button and canned applause plays out over the speakers. Jimin simply smiles at the camera, waving his hands and bowing. He looks like he’s done this a million times. He probably has.
“Yes yes, very good. So, Jimin-ssi, you’re filming a new drama right now called-,” Se-ho glances at his cue card, making an unneeded show of reminding himself of the drama’s name, “We Met In Spring… well, it’s summer right now, you know?”
Canned laughter rings out, and Jimin simply laughs along. Jeongguk applauds his professionalism. “Yes, well, we started filming in spring,” he says politely, “that’s when the characters met. Hence- we met in spring.”
There’s no canned laughter, but Jeongguk’s snort rings out loudly, drawing some annoyed looks from the crew.
“Yes, I see,” Se-ho’s lip twitches, probably used to being the one making the jabs, “well, you say that the characters met in spring, and they obviously fall in love. How about you Jimin-ssi? There have been rumours circulating about a possible relationship with co-star Kim So-hyun?” Se-ho raises an eyebrow.
Jimin’s smile falters, eyes flickering to the camera before they fall back to Se-ho. “My relationship with Kim So-hyun is one of a colleague only.”
“You were also recently linked to model Bae Su-ji. It seems you’re living up to your reputation as a ladies man,” Se-ho says with a smirk.
“All other rumours were also unfounded,” Jimin replies.
Se-ho laughs loudly, lounging back in his chair and gesturing dismissively towards Jimin, “Well I think your Naver history would have something different to say about that.”
Jeongguk feels his anger growing. What the hell are these questions? This interview was supposed to be about the drama.
Jimin tenses, “I can assure you none of the rumours were true. Now, if you’d like to talk about the drama-“
Se-ho quirks an eyebrow as Jimin tries to change the subject, then raises his hands dramatically, “I apologise Jimin-ssi, I don’t want to get on your bad side. I’ve heard you have a bit of a temper…”
Jimin’s fists tighten in his lap, “I assure you I don’t-“
Se-ho lifts his cue cards up in front of himself dramatically, and pretends shield himself from Jimin. The obnoxious canned laughter comes over their speakers again and Jeongguk wants to throttle the sound engineer.
“Ah sorry,” Se-ho chuckles, “Can’t be too careful! I payed a lot for this face.”
Jimin’s hands continue to tighten in his lap, eyes flickering around the crew and the camera lenses all pointed at him. He looks lost for a moment, then takes a breath and attempts to smile- to laugh quietly along with the jokes made at his expense. The MC grins obnoxiously as he continues the interview, making several more jabs at Jimin, and Jeongguk feels his own nails cutting into his palms.
The interview lasts just under half an hour, and it couldn’t be done faster in Jeongguk’s opinion. Jimin has handled it incredibly well. Jeongguk doesn’t know how he kept so calm and professional because if it was him up there he would have tackled the MC off his chair within the first five minutes.
Hoseok walks close to Jimin, stroking his back as they make their way through the building towards the main entrance again. Manager Lee walks ahead and Jeongguk walks behind, still trying to shake off the disgruntled feeling he got from that shit show of an interview.
As they move towards the entrance a chorus of screams echo around the foyer. Jimin freezes with Hoseok still at his side, and Jeongguk stops just behind them. Manager Lee rushes over and speaks to a security guard stationed at the entrance, before coming back with a solemn expression.
“I’m sorry, Jimin-ssi, someone must have leaked your location…”
Jimin’s face drops and he looks from his manager to the door and back, “how many are there?”
“There’s a considerable crowd. It’s a mixture of paparazzi and fans.”
“Is there no other way out of the building?” Jimin asks, his voice slowly becoming quieter.
“Unfortunately no,” Manager Lee says with apologetic eyes, “the car is in the lay-by just behind the crowd. The head of security here said they will provide a few guards to help keep the crowd at bay.” Three men in suits appear from behind and move towards the entrance.
Jimin gives a small nod. He takes a deep breath, standing up straight and holding his head high. Jeongguk is almost convinced by Jimin’s act of bravery until he sees his hand trembling as he reaches for Hoseok’s arm. “Stay by me, please,” he whispers quietly.
Hoseok nods, slipping his arm through Jimin’s, “I’ll be right here.”
They move as a group, Manager Lee leading the way with one security guard, Jimin and Hoseok between the other two, and Jeongguk following up the rear, no security guard needed because well, the crowd couldn’t give a damn about him.
As they step out of the entrance the fans begin to scream loudly, the camera flashes blinding. This isn’t a planned appearance, and therefore no barriers or security personnel are in place to protect them other that the three guards, and as Jimin steps forward into the crowd, Jeongguk quickly realises that there simply isn’t enough of them to keep the crowd at bay.
The hysterical sea of people surge forward, all desperate for a look at Park Jimin, for a photo of him, for a chance to touch him, and suddenly they are completely engulfed by the mob. For a second all Jeongguk can see is hair and hats and cameras pushing past him with force. He manages to fight his way through the crowd, following the direction that Jimin had gone in, and that’s when he finds Hoseok on his own, equally as desperate amongst the manic crowd.
He looks at Jeongguk in panic. Jimin isn’t beside him. Jeongguk feels his stomach drop.
“Where’s Jimin?” Jeongguk shouts over the noise.
“I- I don’t know! We got separated! The crowd is too strong!” Hoseok shouts back, eyes desperately searching in the direction the cameras are pointed in for any sign of Jimin. Jeongguk shoves past a few people and sees the top of Jimin’s head, his hands raised up trying to protect himself from the mob of people clawing at him. The crowd are either going to crush him or tear him apart.
“Shit.”
Just then a camera smacks into the side of Jeongguk’s head and that’s when he sees red. Fuck this. He’s been in plenty of mosh pits in his time, he knows how to make his way through a rough crowd. Plus he’s built like a fucking tank, so a few men with cameras and fangirls aren’t going to stop him. Beep beep. Coming through bitches.
“I’ll get him,” he shouts to Hoseok, already shoving two people aside easily, “just concentrate on getting to the car yourself. I’ll meet you there.”
Hoseok nods and slips out of the crowd. Jeongguk shoves another man aside, silencing his complaint with a look that could kill. A few fans with their phones raised are easy to push out of the way, then a few more paparazzi. The last man who stands in his way he grabs by his camera strap, which is looped conveniently around his neck. He yanks him backwards, pulling a strangled sound from his throat as he shoves him out of the way.
That’s when he finally reaches Jimin. He’s covering his face, shoulders curling in on himself protectively as he cowers under the assault. His hair is messy, clothes stretched in places from the hands clawing at him. Jeongguk’s anger flairs.
“Jimin!” he calls out.
Jimin looks up at him, wide eyes full of panic and fear. Jeongguk reaches out his hand, “come here.”
Relief floods Jimin’s features and he immediately reaches out for Jeongguk. Jeongguk pulls him in close, wrapping his arm around him protectively, using his body to shield Jimin’s. Jimin instantly clings onto him, hands balling into fists as he curls into Jeongguk’s side.
Jeongguk bats away a hand which goes for Jimin’s face, placing his hand over Jimin’s head protectively as he uses his free hand to shove anyone who gets too close. He can feel Jimin trembling in his hold, his hands in a death grip on his shirt, head practically turned into his neck as he lets Jeongguk lead him through the mayhem.
After what feels like the longest minute of his life, Jeongguk manages to push them through the crowd to the waiting car, the three bodyguards holding the mob back from the open door. Hoseok is already inside, having made his own way around the crowd. He climbs forward inside the car with a worried expression as he watches them approach.
Jeongguk moves Jimin in front of him carefully, shielding him from the fray of people. Jimin climbs into the car, dragging Jeongguk in with him by the vice like-grip he still has in his shirt. Jeongguk’s eyes widen in surprise, his head narrowly missing the door frame as he’s yanked inside.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Hoseok asks worriedly as Jimin slides into the centre seat, Jeongguk taking the seat the next to him. Hoseok wraps tight arms around Jimin’s shoulders, “I’m so sorry we got separated, it- it was so crazy. Someone pushed me and I tripped and suddenly you were gone!”
“I-it’s fine…” Jimin stutters as Jeongguk pulls the door closed with a slam. Jimin flinches at the sound, his breaths coming out fast, shoulders rising and falling rapidly, “…can we just get the f-fuck out of here?”
Manager Lee appears in the front seat next to the driver, and before his door is even closed fully the car pulls away, dodging a few brave people practically throwing themselves onto the bonnet for a glimpse of Jimin. Hoseok leans forward into Jimin’s line of sight, “Jiminie are you hurt?”
“I’m fine. It’s fine,” Jimin shakes his head.
“Your shirt is ripped,” Hoseok says quietly, touching Jimin’s shirt with careful hands, “shit- how hard did they pull you around?”
“They were like fucking animals,” Jeongguk spits, trying to calm his own heartbeat, adrenaline still thrumming through his veins, “how can people act like that? They’re supposed to be your fans!”
“…’s fine,” Jimin repeats, eyes distant as he stares at the floor. He doesn’t seem to realise that he’s still holding onto Jeongguk’s shirt tightly, and that’s how Jeongguk knows he’s not fine. He contemplates tapping at Jimin’s hand, pointing out that he’s still holding onto him, but it looks like Jimin needs something to ground him right now. So Jeongguk sits back quietly, leaving Jimin to hold onto him for as long as he needs to.
“Oh, Jiminie… let me see…” Hoseok says gently, coaxing Jimin’s free hand out of his lap. His fist is clenched tight, the same way his other is in Jeongguk’s shirt. Jimin takes a shaky breath, and Hoseok slowly massages at his wrist and then his palm, uncurling his fingers with gentle movements. Jeongguk tries not to let out a hiss when he sees the deep marks dug into Jimin’s palms, his nails almost cutting into the flesh, “you need to rememberer to keep your nails short,” Hoseok whispers, rubbing at Jimin’s palm, “give me your other hand.”
Only then does Jimin realise he’s still holding onto Jeongguk, eyes flickering over to him and turning wide before as he pulls his hand away sharply.
“S-sorry,” Jimin stutters, before turning and placing that hand into Hoseok’s.
“It’s okay,” Jeongguk says in response, shifting a little and straightening out his shirt.
“Jiminie, look at me?” Hoseok requests, “you’re still with me, yeah?”
Jimin nods, taking a shaky breath, “yeah. I just- I need-“
“I know. They’re in your bag, one second.” Hoseok let’s go of Jimin’s hands and bends down to search through his bag, he comes back with a small bottle of pills and some water. Jimin practically tears Hoseok’s hands off as he takes them from him, his hands trembling as he struggles to open the bottle. Jeongguk busies himself with looking out of the window, tapping his hands against his knees. This doesn’t seem like something he should be seeing.
Jimin swallows the pills and drops his head back against the headrest, eyes closed as he takes deep breaths. They continue in silence for a while, Manager Lee the only one to break the silence as he alternates between apologising to Jimin and making phone calls. Jimin isn’t even listening, his head lulling slightly with the sway of the car’s movement.
They turn a corner and Jeongguk recognises the road close to the film studio. He feels relieved to be back somewhere he knows is gated and where Jimin can’t be mobbed.
“…thank you.”
Jimin’s quiet voice cuts through his thoughts. He turns his head to see Jimin looking at him, his beautiful face close as they sit shoulder to shoulder.
“Huh?” Jeongguk asks, head still a little cloudy.
“Thank you… for helping me,” Jimin says, turning his head back forward and closing his eyes in exhaustion again.
“O-oh,” Jeongguk says awkwardly, “no worries. You’ve had quite the morning, huh? That asshole MC and then a giant mob of psycho people. Pretty shitty.”
Jimin’s eyes remain closed but his full lips pull up a little at the corners, a hint of a smile, “yeah, it was pretty shitty.”
They pull into the underground parking lot and the car comes to a stop beside the elevator. Jeongguk jumps as the door beside him suddenly slides open, an assistant waiting for them.
“Welcome back, Jimin-ssi. Everyone is ready for you on set,” she bows politely.
Jimin’s eyes open and he sits forward, picking his bag up from by his feet, a slight tremor still in his hands. He turns to Jeongguk expectantly, raising an eyebrow and gesturing for him to get out first. Jeongguk snaps out of his confusion and climbs out of the car, watching as Jimin slips out after him and walks silently past the assistant.
Jeongguk can only watch in disbelief as Jimin is marched back onto set, his makeup and clothing changed quickly by Hoseok before he is placed back in front of the cameras and blinding lights. He had literally been mobbed not even an hour ago and no one seems to care. Not one person has checked if he was okay, or noticed how fucking exhausted he looks. They just shoved him in front of the cameras without a second thought.
Jimin closes his eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath, before opening them and plastering on a smile as the director calls out ‘action’.
Chapter 3: Building Bridges
Notes:
Disclaimer: Please note that in this chapter Jimin films a romance scene which shows him act-kissing his female co-star. Also, there is a brief scene of jikook flirting with other ppl at a club, but they do leave together so don’t worry too much. Skip over those scenes if it affects you- you’ll see them coming.
Enjoy!
Chapter Text
“Good morning, sunshine,” Hoseok chirps happily, appearing next to Jeongguk as he walks into the film studio.
“I should be calling you sunshine,” Jeongguk smiles, holding the door open to let Hoseok through, “you’re here bright and early.” His eyes flicker around, searching for a familiar mop of fluffy blonde hair, or perhaps an oversized hoodie, “where’s Jimin-ssi?”
“He’s on his way,” Hoseok says as they walk towards the dressing rooms, “he had something to do this morning before coming in, so I made my own way here.”
“How is he?” Jeongguk asks quietly, “you know, after yesterday…”
Jeongguk hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what had happened the day before. He’d had a sleepless night, images of Jimin cowering among the violently obsessed crowd flashing through his mind.
“He’s okay,” Hoseok sighs, “it’s not the first time it’s happened.”
Jeongguk thinks back to the video he’d seen when he’d first searched Jimin’s name on Naver. Jimin’s apparent ‘violent outburst’ at the press when he was being mobbed at the airport. Having now been in that situation Jeongguk can say he wholeheartedly understands Jimin’s actions. If anything, he thinks Jimin underreacted.
“I can’t imagine having to go through that every time you want to go outside,” Jeongguk says with a frown.
“I know,” Hoseok sighs, opening the door of Jimin’s dressing room, “makes you glad you’re not famous doesn’t it.” He motions inside, “you coming in? You can wait for Jimin while I set up for the day.”
Jeongguk takes a step back. “Uh, I don’t think thats a good idea…” he says hesitantly, memories of the first time he’d been in Jimin’s dressing room flashing through his mind. He does not fancy a repeat of that.
Hoseok chuckles, “it’ll be fine, trust me, he won’t mind. Come on,” he ushers Jeongguk into the dressing room before he can protest further. Jeongguk looks around the room tentatively. It’s the first time he’s been in here since that first day on set when Jimin had throw him out. It’s been nearly three weeks now and things seem to have improved a bit since then, but it’s slow progress. When Park Young-hee said to be patient she really meant patient.
Jeongguk sits on a vacant chair to the side which seems to have no particular use besides piling clothes onto. He pulls out his phone, taking the opportunity to check his emails. There’s nothing new, just minor updates on schedules, and some work emails about articles which he has put on hold for the time being. Hoseok leaves him to it, setting out the makeup on the vanity and hanging Jimin’s wardrobe for the day out like he always does.
After a few minutes the door clicks open, and Hoseok seems to practically bloom with happy energy, “Jiminie! Good morning!”
Jeongguk’s eyes flicker up to see Jimin standing in the doorway, fluffy blonde hair falling forward, hoodie pulled up, bare face stunning as usual. Jimin’s eyes find Jeongguk straight away and he holds his breath, waiting to be yelled at, or told to get out again. Instead Jimin just looks at him for a moment before walking over to Hoseok. “Good morning hyung,” he says softly, his voice still a little raspy from sleep which makes Jeongguk think he must have not long gotten out of bed, or perhaps he was sleeping a little in the car, “I got you a coffee.”
“Ooh, thank you Jiminie! I didn’t think I’d be able to get one today because we didn’t come together, and I really need this,” Hoseok makes grabby hands towards the coffee which Jimin slips out of the cardboard cup holder in his hand.
Jeongguk smiles at the thoughtful act. Hoseok definitely gets to see a different side of Jimin than everyone else. He looks back down to quickly finish off the email he was writing to a colleague from publishing. As he’s typing he can hear hushed whispers between Hoseok and Jimin.
“Please hyung…”
“No, you do it.”
“Hyung-”
“Just give it to him,” he hears Hoseok whisper, “what’s the point of you buying it if I’m the one giving it to him?”
“But-”
“It’s like ripping off a bandaid. Just do it fast.”
He hears Jimin huff, and then the gentle tinkle of ice cubes meets his ears as an iced coffee is placed on the table in next to him.
Jeongguk looks at the cup in surprise and then glances up to find Jimin standing in front of him. Jimin quickly pulls his hand away from the cup, putting some distance between them, his cheeks a little flushed, “I, uh… i-it’s an americano. I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” he mumbles, avoiding eye contact.
“Oh…” Jeongguk is speechless because what the fuck, but quickly snaps himself out of his stupor, “I…y-yeah, americano is perfect,” he says, picking up the cup and quickly taking a sip. It’s delicious, definitely from a café that knows what it’s doing, “mmm, it’s really good, thank you.”
Jimin nods, determined to avoid Jeongguk’s eyes as he walks back to Hoseok, sitting down in his usual chair in front of the mirror. Hoseok grins knowingly, squeezing Jimin’s shoulder affectionately before getting started on his hair and makeup.
Jeongguk stares down at the cup in his hands trying to work out what the fuck just happened. Did Jimin really just buy him a coffee? THE Park Jimin, took time out on his way to work this morning to stop and get him a coffee. He can’t help but feel moved at the small act of kindness, especially considering the way he’d acted towards Jimin in the beginning.
As he lifts his head to look at Jimin’s reflection in the mirror, the blonde smiling a soft smile at Hoseok who’s applying some smokey eyeshadow to his eyelids, he can’t help but agree that there is so much more to Jimin than meets the eye.
-
Jeongguk continues to sip on the americano as he stands to the side of the set, watching Jimin being positioned in front of the camera.
He’s filming a scene with co-star Kim So-hyun, and from what Jeongguk can gather from listening to the crew, they’re filming a scene where he confesses his love for her. It’s supposed to be a huge turning point in the drama, one of the scenes which has been most anticipated- the first kiss.
“Right, this is an integral scene,” the director says, “remember the emotion we talked about. I really want the audience to feel the moment through the screen- to be thoroughly invested.”
Jimin nods, smiling politely at So-hyun who mirrors the smile back. Jimin didn’t seem to be lying when he said that the relationship they have is strictly professional. If they are hooking up behind the scenes then they’re very good at hiding it. Jeongguk tries to recall any times he’s seen the two of them talking together apart from when they are filming or reading lines, and comes up short.
To be honest, Jeongguk has never seen Jimin have a conversation with any woman in a flirtatious way… or any way at all come to think of it. He never seems to talk to anyone besides Hoseok. Taehyung and Seokjin weren’t lying when they said that Jimin mostly hides away in his dressing room. Where on earth did all these rumours of him being a player, and dating woman after woman come from?
The set lights are dimmed to match the mood, and Jimin and So-hyun get into position. She leans against a wall, the set created to look like a quiet corridor of the hospital. Jimin stands in front of her, one hand resting against the wall as he looks down at her. They look as if they have just stolen a moment to be together, like time has stopped just for them.
“Okay… action,” the director calls.
Jimin lifts his hand, softly cupping So-hyun’s face with gentle fingers, “Yejun-ah… you look tired… when did you last eat?”
Jeongguk can’t help let out a small huff at the notion that Jimin is telling anyone else that they look tired, and asking them when they last ate. Recently he has had the increasing urge to tell Jimin to just nap wherever they are- if only to see the bags under his eyes decrease just a little.
“You know why I’m having trouble sleeping,” she replies softly, her eyes closing as she leans into his touch.
“Your brother will get better,” Jimin holds her face with both hands, tilting her head up to meet his eyes, “I made a promise to you, and I don’t intend to break it. Ever.”
Jeongguk can’t help but stare, the paper straw of his iced americano going slightly soggy between his parted lips.
“How can I know that for sure?” she says, eyes searching Jimin’s, “you say that now, but-”
“Yejun-ah,“ Jimin interrupts, his eyes full of emotion, “I know I don’t say what’s on my mind as much as you’d like me to. It’s something I’ve struggled with my whole life...”
The words tug at Jeongguk’s heart. Every time he watches Jimin act, he can’t help but be sucked into whatever narrative he’s portraying. Right now he feels like he’s not watching a scene- that somehow these words are coming directly from Jimin. Maybe it’s his desperation to actually hear Jimin explain something about himself for once, for him to say something that’s more than just a dismissive one word sentence. He’d give anything for just one glimpse inside Jimin’s head.
“I…” Jimin pauses, taking a deep breath, “I’ve always had trouble getting my words out. I’m not good at explaining what’s on my mind… most of the time I’m not even sure, but with you-” Jimin runs his hand through her hair, using the other to wrap around her waist and pull her closer, “Yejun-ah with you… you’re the only thing in my life that I’m sure of.”
Jeongguk’s stomach flutters, a heat deep burning in his gut as he watches Jimin cling desperately to her, as if afraid she’d pull away. He tightens his hand around the coffee Jimin bought him, his throat bobbing.
“You know how I feel about you right?” Jimin whispers, stroking his thumb along So-hyun’s jaw, eyes searching her face, “you have to know...”
She looks into his eyes, their faces inches apart, “I need you to tell me… please tell me,” she begs, hands looping up around Jimin’s neck, fingers threading into the back of his hair.
Jeongguk’s throat feels dry. His eyes lock onto Jimin, the rest of the room turning a little fuzzy, like tunnel vision.
“I love you Yejun-ah,” Jimin whispers, brushing his lips across hers softly, speaking the words against them, “I always have- since the day we met. I love you so much.” Her eyes fall closed as he captures her lips with his, kissing her softly and slowly, filled with all the emotion of his words.
Everyone in the room holds their breaths. The camera moves in for a close up of the kiss blocking Jeongguk’s view and he finds himself desperately craning his neck, stepping to the side and knocking a crew member out of the way so he can see.
He finds a gap between the cameras where he can only really see Jimin. His eyes are closed, lost in the kiss. His fingers tighten in So-hyun’s hair, coaxing her head to the side as the cameras get different angles of their kiss. Jeongguk’s mouth hangs open, his hand tightening around the coffee in his hand until he feels the lid pop off. His legs feel slightly tingly as he watches Jimin kiss, arousal burning in his gut.
The acting is flawless, so flawless that Jeongguk feels absorbed into the scene himself. He can almost feel Jimin’s lips on his instead, his elegant ringed fingers threaded into his hair. He can feel himself holding tightly onto Jimin’s waist, fingers dragging across his skin hard enough to leave marks, hands gripping his thighs, pulling them up around his hips as he presses him against the wall-
“Cut!”
Jeongguk gasps loudly, drawing curious looks from the crew around him as he taps his chest, trying to catch his breath. He feels his cheeks flush in embarrassment as he fumbles to click the lid back down onto his coffee cup. What the hell was that? Did he really almost pop a boner over watching Jimin kiss?
Jimin and So-hyun break apart, instantly back into a professional manner as they look at the director expectantly. “Perfect,” the director claps happily, “exactly what I wanted. Jimin-ssi you brought the emotion out perfectly. Great acting. You can all take five while we set up for the next scene.”
Right- acting. Just acting. Jeongguk shakes his head, trying to shake some sanity into himself. He feels hot under the collar, cheeks still slightly flushed as he battles to calm himself down after whatever that was.
Jimin steps out from in front of the camera, gravitating naturally to where Hoseok stands to the side of the set not far from Jeongguk. His lips are pink and slightly swollen from the kiss, and Jeongguk finds it hard to look away. Hoseok smiles, talking to Jimin as he dabs at his lips with different products from the pouch at his waist.
Jeongguk doesn’t even realise he’s staring until Jimin seems to sense it. His eyes find Jeongguk’s, lips parted as Hoseok dabs lip balm on them with a brush. Jeongguk gulps, and Jimin’s eyes widen slightly, like he only just realised that Jeongguk had been watching the entire time. He quickly looks away as Hoseok starts to fix his hair, which has been slightly messed up by his co-star’s hands. After a moment, he looks back at Jeongguk, holding his gaze- like he’s trying to gauge his thoughts- trying to work out what Jeongguk is thinking.
Jeongguk doesn’t really know what to do. Feeling flustered by the prolonged eye contact, he does the first thing that comes to mind and gives Jimin a thumbs up. Smooth Jeongguk, real smooth.
Jimin looks a little taken aback, but then his lips curl up a little at the corners. He nods at Jeongguk before turning back to talk to Hoseok. The director calls for them to get ready for the next scene and Jeongguk takes that opportunity to slip out of the studio, escaping into the corridor.
He leans against the wall, banging his head back against it a few times to try and knock some sense into himself because what the fuck was that? He did not just fantasise about Jimin while watching him film a love scene. That really is a new low. Jeongguk groans, running his hand through his hair. He needs to get laid, it’s the only explanation. That’s what this is. It’s all sexual frustration- it’s been too long and he just needs to get laid. It’s has absolutely nothing to do with Park Jimin.
He pulls out his phone, sending a text to Namjoon telling him that they’re going out tonight and to let the others know. He chuckles to himself, shaking his head as he slips his phone back into his pocket, running his hands down his face. Maybe for one night he can convince himself that Jimin doesn’t live in his mind rent-free.
———
Jeongguk nods a greeting to the doorman as he walks through the doors of Heaven nightclub. It’s one of the smaller gay clubs in Itaewon, mostly popular with foreigners and tourists, hidden away down one of the backstreets. It’s not shiny and elegant like the clubs in Gangnam. The interior is dark, lit up only by the colourful neon lights dotted around. The exposed brick walls are covered with graffiti and worn out posters, the paper peeling at the edges. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea but Jeongguk loves it. It has a certain vibe. A hidden gem.
It’s hot inside, the air thick, and Jeongguk can already feel a layer of sweat dampening his skin. The deep thumping of the bass vibrates through his chest as he makes his way through the sea of bodies towards the bar where he spots Namjoon.
“Hey hyung,” he shouts over the music, patting Namjoon on the back.
Namjoon turns and smiles, “hey, you made it,” he shouts back.
Jeongguk nods and smiles, tucking his hair behind one ear and allowing the loose strands to hang forward across his cheekbone. He leans back against the cool surface of the bar feeling the soft delicate silk of his shirt pull tight across his chest. He’d made an extra effort tonight, wearing his tightest black jeans and a slightly sheer black silk shirt with the buttons undone so it dips low. He’s left his long hair down and pushed back, slightly damp from the shower to give it that wet look.
“Yoongi is running late as usual,” Namjoon says as he nods to the barman and orders a drink for them, “he messaged to say he will be here soon.” He hands Jeongguk his drink and gestures away from the bar, “the others are over here, come on.” He leads Jeongguk to a booth hidden in a dark corner.
“Jeongguk-ah!” Mingyu shouts, jumping up to pull him in for a tight hug, “long time no see.”
“Hey Min,” Jeongguk smiles into his shoulder, “it’s good to see you.”
“You look hot,” Mingyu says, pulling back to give Jeongguk a once over.
“Someone doesn’t want to go home alone tonight,” Yugyeom says with a wink from where he’s sitting in the booth. Jeongguk just laughs, shaking his head. He already feels better just being in an environment where he feels so at home, amongst his friends.
Jeongguk had moved to Itaewon for this exact reason. Being close to the lgbtq+ community which had been so welcoming to him when he was young student, moving to Seoul from the coast to try to find himself, to learn about himself. This bar was where he had met a younger Yoongi and Namjoon, where they had become friends, and eventually where he had managed to convince Yoongi to give him a job at GQ.
When he’d first met Yoongi, he’d been amazed that he wasn’t hanging around on a rooftop bar in Gangnam, being the editor-in-chief of such a huge magazine. But it’d taken him only one night with the other to see how down to earth Yoongi is. He has never forgotten his roots, and his heart will always belong with his friends in the small bars tucked away in the glowing streets of Itaewon.
“Come and join us,” Yugyeom says, patting the seat next to him. Jeongguk slides into the booth and Namjoon drops down next to him, eyes scanning the club as he waits for any sign of Yoongi.
“So, how have you been Jeongguk-ah?” Mingyu asks, slipping into the booth the other side of Yugyeom, “how’s work?”
“Hm,” Jeongguk rolls his eyes over the rim of his drink as he takes a mouthful, feeling the warm burn of alcohol down his throat, “work is… well it’s something.”
“It must be getting easier, no?” Namjoon asks, bringing his own glass to his lips.
“I mean, kind of but in the same time no,” Jeongguk groans, running a hand through his hair, “it’s like, the more I get to know Jimin, the less I know him, you know?”
“Wait, you’re writing an article about Park Jimin?” Yugyeom asks inquisitively.
Mingyu leans forwards on his elbows, eyebrows lifting, “no way, are you really?”
“Oh… uh, yeah,” Jeongguk nods, taking another sip of his drink, “I am.”
“Damn. That must be rough,” Mingyu says, blowing out a breath, “I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes… no matter how hot he is.”
“You think he’s hot?” Yugyeom says, raising an incredulous eyebrow.
“And you don’t?” Mingyu counters, eyes wide, “he’s so hot it’s ridiculous. Such a shame he’s straight,” he sighs.
“Shame he’s a psycho,” Yugyeom snorts, and Jeongguk feels himself tense, his hand tightening around his glass, “I’m guess I’m just not attracted to him because he has an awful personality. You know how someone can loose all their charm when you realise they’re a terrible person…” he shrugs.
“What do you mean terrible person?” Jeongguk hears himself ask, placing his glass down on the table a little firmer than he needed to, “have you ever met him?”
“No,” Yugyeom laughs, “of course I haven’t, but everyone knows what he’s like. You only have to type his name into Naver and you can find out everything you need to know.”
“Yeah,” Mingyu nods in agreement, “didn’t he punch a photographer in the face once?” he leans forward like it’s the juiciest gossip he’s ever heard, “I heard the poor guy was just taking a photo, and Park Jimin walked up to him and smashed his camera, then punched him in the face-”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Jeongguk snaps, not liking the way this conversation is going. Had he been like this? Willing to just believe the worst about Jimin with no proof? Ready to paint him as a villain before he’d even met him? “That’s not what happened, I can vouch for that. Don’t believe everything you read. He’s not actually a bad guy…”
Jeongguk finds himself feeling surprisingly defensive of Jimin. He thinks about him secretly buying the staff expensive treats, about him taking time to get him a coffee on his way to work that morning. The way he interacts so softly with Hoseok. They aren’t the actions of a rude or selfish person.
Mingyu and Yugyeom look at Jeongguk in surprise, “I didn’t realise you were such a fan,” Yugyeom shrugs.
“It’s not about being a fan,” Jeongguk snaps, “it’s about not judging someone you don’t even know.”
“Okay okay, down boy,” Namjoon pats Jeongguk’s shoulder, “let’s change the subject, hm? Like how Yoongi has finally arrived. Late as always.”
Yoongi slips through the crowd, a drink already in his hands. “Hello, my loves,” he smiles as he slides in to the booth next to Namjoon.
“You’re here,” Namjoon says, wrapping an arm around him, his face lighting up.
Yoongi reaches up and tweaks his chin playfully, “…I’m here.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes. He has never understood how Yoongi can’t seem to see that Namjoon is head over heels in love with him. How he practically turns into a puppy whenever the other enters the room. How he has been whipped for years, but has yet to actually tell the other his feelings.
A part of him suspects Yoongi already knows. He can see it in the subtle shifts in Yoongi’s stance, how he falls so readily into Namjoon’s side whenever he pulls him close, how his eyes turn a little warmer when Namjoon gets shy around him. Maybe he’s simply waiting for Namjoon to make his move. Waiting for when he’s ready.
Jeongguk looks away from the pda to scan around the club. It’s Saturday night and it’s pretty busy, people crowded in all corners of the bar, an even larger crowd dancing on the dance floor.
“Do you want another round of drinks?” Namjoon asks the table.
“Two more rounds,” Yugyeom gives a sly smile, “then we dance.”
Jeongguk nods in agreement, “god, it feels like forever since I’ve danced.”
“Well, you can cut loose tonight,” Namjoon says, with a grin, “get rid of some of that ‘frustration’ that’s built up the last few weeks, hm? I mean, you have no schedule tomorrow right? So enjoy yourself,” he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Jeongguk downs his drink, instantly regretting it as he realises it’s probably made for sipping. He coughs against the burn in his chest, feeling the alcohol start to hum under his skin.
They sit around the table for a while, talking and drinking, and by the time they finally make their way into the swell of people on the dance floor Jeongguk can feel the subtle hum of the alcohol buzzing through his veins.
Mingyu and Yugyeom have disappeared into the crowd, and Namjoon and Yoongi have already paired off, drawn together like magnets. They’re dancing together to the side of him, allowing their intake of alcohol to excuse the way they press into each other, sharing intimate touches under the cover of darkness.
The heat in the crowd is a lot more intense, and Jeongguk can feel his hair getting damp, his shirt sticking slightly to his skin as he moves his body to the music. After a couple of minutes a man slides up next to him, eyes taking in Jeongguk with approval. He’s Korean, and attractive, his body cutting a fine line as he sways and dances. He’s not as attractive as Jimin Jeongguk thinks, then shakes the thought from his head with a huff. He’s supposed to not be thinking about Jimin tonight.
Jeongguk turns the man and presses up against his back, swaying to the beat as he lets the music and alcohol run through him. The man drops his head back against Jeongguk’s shoulder, and his perfume smells sweet, like vanilla. It’s different from Jimin’s scent, the smell of orange blossom which fills his dressing room and clings to him even when he’s only in his hoodie, his soft blonde hair falling over his eyes.
The man turns, placing his hands on Jeongguk’s shoulders and leaning in close to his ear. He distantly hears the the man say his name, and ask for his. Jeongguk numbly replies, trying to blink away the distracting thoughts all surrounding one person. Why is he still thinking of Jimin now, of all times.
“So Jeongguk-ssi, want to get out of here?” The man whispers, pushing his hips against Jeongguk’s.
Jeongguk nods, “Uh y-yeah. Let me just… I-I need the bathroom.”
The man tilts his head in confusion, but nods anyway, running his fingers along Jeongguk’s jaw, “I’ll wait by the bar.”
Jeongguk pushes his way through the crowd, running a hand through his hair. What is going on with him? He though he just needed to work off some sexual frustration but now he’s here, he couldn’t be any less in the mood. He doesn’t want to go home with that guy at all. All he can seem to think about is Jimin. Jeongguk groans. Maybe he just needs to splash some cold water on his face to clear his head a bit.
He’s has been coming to this club for a few years now, long enough to know that he can get away with using the nice bathroom in the VIP area. As he makes his way past the private booths a waiter comes out of one of them with a tray of empty cocktail glasses, pulling back the privacy curtain and exposing the inside of the room. Jeongguk freezes mouth dropping open in disbelief.
There inside the booth, looking like sex on legs, is Jimin.
There’s no mistaking that blonde hair hanging low on his cheekbones, the pink neon light overhead highlighting his stunning profile. He is perched on the lap of a handsome foreign man, arms draped around his shoulders as the man leans in and trails his lips up Jimin’s neck. Jimin’s slightly sheer white top has slipped off his shoulder, and the man’s thick stubble has left a red mark across his exposed skin.
The waiter, who’s also a foreigner, is too busy to even pay attention to Jeongguk, stepping quickly past him and letting the curtain fall closed. Jeongguk lurches forward, grabbing the heavy curtain and yanking it back. His brain to mouth connection stops working and he does the only thing he can think of in that moment.
“You’re gay?!”
Nice one Jeongguk.
Jimin instantly goes rigid, his eyes flying open as he looks over at where Jeongguk stands in the doorway. His face floods with panic, eyes turning wide as he jerks out of the man’s hold, jumping off of his lap, “J-Jeongguk-ssi? W-what are you-”
“You’re gay, you’re actually gay, oh my god,” Jeongguk stumbles over his words, still trying to process that Park Jimin is actually in front of him, in a gay club, with a man. Park Jimin is gay, holy shit.
Jimin hastily pulls up the collar of his shirt and before Jeongguk can even make sense of anything, Jimin grabs him by the wrist, dragging him out of the booth and down the corridor to the bathroom. He shoves him inside, locking the door behind them, chest heaving with panic as he pushes Jeongguk up against the door. He looks distraught.
“You followed me here?! You seriously followed me here?!”
“What? No-”
“Why would you do that?! Are you that desperate to find dirt on me?!” Jimin’s breathing quickens, hands bunching in Jeongguk’s collar as he pins him against the door.
Jeongguk shakes his head, “No that’s not-”
“Have you been following me all this time?!” he asks, hurt flashing across his eyes.
“No! Jimin-ssi, I promise this is purely coincidental!” Jeongguk holds his hands up in surrender, “I’m just here with my friends! I didn’t know you’d be here, how would I know you’d be here? Shit, I can’t believe you’re here!”
Jimin keeps his hands fisted into the front of Jeongguk’s shirt, his eyes flickering from one of Jeongguk’s to the other, his face full of desperation, “please Jeongguk-ssi, you cannot put this in your article! Y-you can’t tell anyone that I was here- I- I’m begging you! Please!” He’s trembling, his whole body shaking as he takes sharp breaths.
“Hey, woah woah, calm down, okay?” Jeongguk says, reaching down to rub his hands up and down Jimin’s arms gently. He’s wary at first, but when Jimin doesn’t shrug him off, he gives the tops of his arms a reassuring squeeze, “I’m not going to put this in the article.”
“Y-you’re not?” Jimin asks, voice shaky.
Jeongguk shakes his head firmly, almost insulted at the accusation, “no of course not! Jeez, what do you take me for? You think I’d just out you like that? I know I can be an ass, but I’m not that much of an ass. I’d never do that to someone. I mean hello, I’m gay too.”
“Wh…” Jimin blinks, “y-you are?”
Jeongguk gestures around them, “I'm literally at a gay club.”
“…oh.”
“Just breathe, okay?” Jeongguk says, still rubbing Jimin’s arms gently in an attempt to soothe him. Jimin breaths in and out. His eyes look a little distant, like he’s battling with his thoughts which Jeongguk can practically see running rampant behind his eyes. Jeongguk speaks softly, trying his best to calm Jimin any way he can, “…it’s okay, I’m not going to tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me.”
Jimin slowly lets go of Jeongguk’s shirt which is now sagging slightly at the front. There’s a slight tremble to his hands as he slowly uncurls his fists, rubbing his palms together in a repetitive motion. Jeongguk’s mind flashes back to the time in the car after he’d been mobbed, when he had cut marks into his palms with his nails. He wonders if he looked at them now if they would be in a similar state.
“You don’t have to worry. Just take some deep breaths.”
Jimin takes a slow breath in through his nose, and out through his mouth. He nods shakily, “yeah- yeah, okay.”
He finally pulls back from Jeongguk, putting some distance between them, and Jeongguk drops his arms. Jimin continues to take breaths as he paces back and forth a few times in the small space, finally stopping in front of Jeongguk again and searching his face, “y-you really won’t tell anyone?”
“I won’t. I promise.”
It seems like Jeongguk’s promise is enough to convince him. He backs up and leans against the wall of the cubicle, closing his eyes and dropping his head back, “I can’t believe this has happened,” he mumbles, more to himself then anyone.
It’s silent for a few moments before Jeongguk speaks again, “So… you’re really gay?” he asks tentatively.
Jimin takes a deep breath before opening his eyes and lifting his head to look at Jeongguk. He pauses for a moment, like he’s deciding whether or not to admit it- but them he finally nods, “yeah…” he says, almost a whisper.
“Wow,” Jeongguk blows out a breath, “I did not see that coming at all… and my gaydar is usually pretty good. I guess the whole ‘serial womaniser’ thing threw me off…”
Jimin huffs bitterly, shaking his head as he fiddles with the rings on his fingers nervously, “yeah well, if you haven’t realised it by now- that’s all bullshit,” he says quietly, “all those…” he closes his eyes, “all those articles. Those things they say about me... they’re all lies.”
They stand in silence for a moment, before Jimin continues, his voice small, “people just love to make up rumours about me for the fun of it. They’ll swear they know someone who knows someone who saw me do it- and then boom,” he raises his hand, stretching his fingers out like a firework between them, “it’s all over tomorrow’s news headlines. And then I’m the one who is expected to issue a statement every time.”
Jeongguk stares at Jimin in disbelief. There’s a new rumour nearly every week about him hooking up with some girl group member, or fucking some female model behind the scenes at Seoul fashion week, all of which Jeongguk, like everyone else, had believed. And it turns out Jimin has been gay all along.
Jeongguk slowly walks over to Jimin, leaning against the wall next to him, mirroring his stance as they both stare blankly at the wall opposite. “Im sorry…” he says after a moment, “I can’t even imagine what that’s like. You shouldn’t have to go though that.”
“People say it’s all part of being famous.”
“People fucking suck.”
Jimin snorts, “yeah… most of them do.”
They fall into that familiar silence again, thoughts running through both of their minds. Jeongguk turns his head to look at Jimin at the same time Jimin turns his, their eye’s meeting.
“You really won’t tell anyone?” he whispers, his eyes pleading but hopeful.
“My lips are sealed,” Jeongguk mimes zipping his mouth closed and locking it with a key, throwing it over his shoulder comically.
Jimin laughs a little. It’s so sudden that Jeongguk isn’t expecting it. It’s small- but beautiful. Gentle and light- like a breeze across the ocean. It hits Jeongguk in the centre of his chest, a fluttering sensation running through his ribs, filling his lungs.
“Thank you,” he whispers. He smiles a barely there smile before pushing himself off the wall, walking over to the full length mirror to straighten his hair out and adjust his outfit. He pulls a lip balm out of his pocket, dabbing it on his lips before walking to the door.
“Um, thanks again,” he says softly before turning and pulling open the door, stepping back out into the neon lighting of the club, Jeongguk slipping out behind him. He watches Jimin as he walks through the staggered beams of light, through one spotlight, then another, his blonde hair illuminated, silver hooped earrings twinkling. He walks down the corridor like it’s a catwalk, elegant without even realising it.
“So, um, are you going back to your… uh…” Jeongguk gestures towards the booth, suddenly feeling awkward. Jimin ducks his head in embarrassment, shaking it quickly, “no… I just want to get my things and go home.” He walks towards the booth, jumping when the curtain suddenly pulls open and the foreign man, who is actually freakishly tall steps out.
“I was wondering where you got to,” he says in english, slipping his hand around Jimin’s waist and pulling him close. Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh, I erm-” he stutters hesitantly in english, “actually, I was thinking- I’m not really, um-” he pushes against the man’s chest, trying to pull away, eyes flickering over to Jeongguk. The guy doesn’t seem to get the hint which Jeongguk narrows in on. He frowns as a wave of protectiveness washes over him.
“He’s actually not feeling well,” Jeongguk says abruptly in english, reaching forward and tugging Jimin from the man’s hold to his side instead. Jimin goes readily, grabbing on to him, “he said he wants to go home.”
“Oh, really?” the man asks Jimin, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Y-yeah… sorry,” Jimin apologises, bowing slightly.
To be fair the guy actually seems pretty chill, he just shrugs in disappointment at a lost opportunity. “That’s fair enough,” he gestures towards the club, “guess I’ll go look for someone else. Nice meeting you beautiful,” he says to Jimin, turning to walk back to the main area.
Jimin turns to Jeongguk, “Um… thanks,” his says, his eyes flickering between them, and only then does Jeongguk realise how close he has pulled him to his side. He quickly unwraps his arm from around Jimin’s waist, putting some distance between them.
“No problem,” Jeongguk shrugs, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before speaking up, “you know you can be firm when you don’t want to do something right?” Jimin looks at him in confusion, and Jeongguk frowns, “like just now, with that guy… you don’t have to worry about telling someone you don’t want to do something… and you certainly don’t have to apologise for it.”
It’s like the outfit thing at the photoshoot all over again. Jeongguk feels irritated at the idea that people have made Jimin feel like he can’t stand up for himself for fear of being labelled rude or a diva.
Jimin looks at him with an unreadable expression, his eyes searching Jeongguk’s before he nods firmly, “okay.”
Jeongguk blows out a breath, running his hand through his hair, “okay, good. So um, you’re going back home now?” he asks as Jimin walks into the booth, picking up a black baseball cap and a face mask.
He puts the cap on and tucks his hair away, “yeah, I guess so. I wasn’t really planning on leaving by myself- but um, it’s fine- I guess I’ll get a taxi or something?” He steps back out of the booth, putting on his face mask, “Um… I’ll see you on set I guess?” he says as he lowers his head, brushing past Jeongguk to walk back towards the main area of the dark club.
Jeongguk hesitates for a moment, ruffling the hair at the back of his neck before calling after him, “do you, uh, need help getting home?”
Jimin stops, turning back to look at him in surprise, “oh… it’s okay, I- um… I only live in Hannam. It’s a pretty quick taxi ride.”
“Okay…” Jeongguk chews on his bottom lip, “I’ll walk you out to where the taxi’s stop then... just in case.”
Jimin looks surprised, but nods slowly. He throws a cautious look at a group of men walking past them and lowers his head, tugging up his mask, “…only if you want to.”
“Just follow me. I mean, it’s the least I can do for messing up your, uh… plans,” Jeongguk says as breezily as he can as he walks past Jimin, leading him out into the club, “…sorry again about that.”
Jimin shrugs, speaking from behind his mask as they leave the vip section, “I wasn’t into it anyway. I’ve not really been… in the mood recently.”
“…no?”
“No, I-”
Just then a voice comes from beside him, calling over the thumping music, “I was wondering where you were.” Jeongguk turns to see the guy who he had been planning to leave with, who had apparently been waiting for him. “oh, uh… hi,” Jeongguk stutters, feeling slightly guilty because he’d completely forgotten about him.
“You took your time. Are we going?” he asks, looping his arm through Jeongguk’s, eyes flickering to Jimin over his shoulder.
“Um, about that…”
“Don’t let me keep you if you have plans,” Jimin says as he turns and starts walking quickly away towards the direction of the exit.
“Wait-” Jeongguk calls after him, “shit…” he looks back to the guy looking at him expectantly, hand still wrapped around his bicep, “look, something’s sort of come up.” An idea comes to mind and he searches the crowd, eyes falling onto the attractive foreign man from the booth who is leaning against the wall with a drink in his hand. Quickly pulling the pretty guy on his arm over to him, he positions the two facing each other.
“Hey, have you two met?” he asks the tall foreign man in English.
“No,” he replies with a smile.
“Can you speak English?” he asks the Korean guy.
“Yes,” he replies, eyes already raking up and down the others form.
“Brilliant,” he taps both of their backs, “you two look great together. Have a good night, use protection!” he calls over his shoulder as he practically runs through the mass of dancing bodies after Jimin.
“JIM-” Jeongguk stops himself mid-shout. Although Jimin isn’t a rare name in Korea, he probably wouldn’t be too happy about Jeongguk shouting it across the crowded club. He comes up with an alternative.
“Uhh, hey- blondie! Wait up!” he calls over the music.
Jimin pauses and looks over his shoulder, surprised that Jeongguk is still following him. Jeongguk weaves through the crowd until he is at Jimin’s side again.
“…blondie?” Jimin looks at him with a raised eyebrow.
Jeongguk smiles awkwardly, “uhh… I panicked?”
Jimin doesn’t respond, turning and continuing to walk through the crowd.
Jeongguk follows behind him, pulling out his phone to send a text to Namjoon and Yoongi, telling them he’s leaving and not to worry about him. There’s no sign of them anyway, having disappeared somewhere together.
Slipping out onto the street, Jeongguk feels that familiar humidity which comes with summer in Seoul. The street is crowded with people, bodies moving in and out of clubs and bars, the melody of the thumping music changing from one venue to another as he walks with Jimin through the backstreets. He can’t help but notice the way Jimin keeps his head low, almost looking at his feet as he walks. It must be so tiring to have to constantly be on alert all the time.
Jeongguk walks silently with Jimin until they turn a corner onto the main road of Itaewon. Jimin stops at the curb, looking down the road for signs of a free taxi. Jeongguk slides up next to him, pulling out his phone to look at the Kakao Taxi app to try and find Jimin a ride. Streams of people continued to pass behind them, raucous laughter and passionate conversations floating past with the groups of friends and colleagues enjoying their night out.
After his request being denied for the 10th time, Jeongguk gives up and puts his phone back in his pocket. He turns to look at Jimin, noticing how the bright lights from the shops opposite make his eyes sparkle like stars. He looks ethereal. Jimin’s eyes flicker to his when he notices Jeongguk watching him. He looks like he’s about to speak, when he’s suddenly distracted by a taxi which is approaching. He waves his hand to beckon the driver, and the car pulls to a stop in front of them.
The driver winds down the window, and Jimin leans down to speak to him.
“Where are you going?”
“Um… Nine One Hannam?” he says in a hushed voice, almost as if someone would overhear him.
The driver shakes his head dismissively, “No. Too close.” He pulls away and stops in front of a couple further up the road who jump in and drive away.
“Yeah I thought this might happen,” Jeongguk says and Jimin turns to look at him in confusion, “it’s almost impossible to get a taxi this time of night in Itaewon if you only want a short trip. The drivers hold out for a longer fare so they can make more money.”
“Oh,” Jimin says, squeezing his hands together, “right. I don’t normally… I’m usually, uh, accompanying someone to a hotel or something…”
“Right, yeah- sorry again for that,” Jeongguk laughs awkwardly, carding a hand through his own hair, “but don’t you ever just walk around? You know, just hang out in Itaewon?”
“No,” Jimin shakes his head, “I don’t really leave my house much when I’m not working, to be honest.”
“Oh.” That’s sort of sad Jeongguk thinks, being stuck at home because you’re scared of being mobbed if you go outside. People look at celebrities lives like they’re living the dream, but it just seems stressful to Jeongguk. The cogs start turning in his brain, an idea forming as he tilts his head and looks at Jimin.
“You know, I live around here.”
“…right?” Jimin responds, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
“Oh god, that was not a pick up line. It’s just, I know Itaewon really well.”
Jimin tilts his head, eyebrows raised as he crosses his arms over his chest, “are you bragging?”
“Well, do you know this area well?” Jeongguk mirrors his body language.
“I know the way my taxi drives from my apartment to a few clubs,” Jimin says defensively.
Jeongguk chuckles, “then yes, it is a brag. This is a great area, why don’t you walk for once? I’ll take you home.”
Jimin glances around with a worried expression, “but what if someone recognises me? You saw how mad it can get when a crowd forms,” his shoulders tense at the memory, “I- I can’t-”
“Then I’m here, I’ll get you out of the situation before it escalates. Just keep your mask on and it will be fine,” Jimin looks at him, unsure, “trust me.”
Jimin hesitates for a moment before finally nodding “…okay.”
“Great, this way, come on,” Jeongguk says gesturing down the road. Jimin nods and falls into step beside him as they walk along, still keeping his head down to try and avoid unwanted attention. He walks close to Jeongguk’s side, using him to guide the way. To be honest the people passing by them are either too drunk, or too caught up in their own conversations to even notice him, but Jeongguk can understand why he’s cautious, having experienced Jimin being mobbed himself.
Jeongguk leads them off the main road and down a side street which is a little less busy, hoping to quell some of Jimin’s nerves. It works, some of the tension easing from his shoulders as he lifts his head a little.
“So you live in Hannam?” Jeongguk says casually, glancing around at the different coffee houses and restaurants which line this particular street, all kinds of delicious smells being pumped out into the air.
“Yeah,” Jimin replies.
“Have you always lived there?”
“Are you trying to interview me again?”
“I’m honestly not,” Jeongguk holds his hands up, “I just want to have a conversation with you. Like, with me, I grew up in Busan, in a little village called Cheongsapo. Heard of it?”
Jimin shakes his head, and Jeongguk smiles, “well it’s not very big, so I’m not surprised. I moved to Seoul to study journalism at university, and I gravitated towards Itaewon because I felt so comfortable here as I came to terms with myself as a person, and my sexual identity. It was exactly what I needed at the time I needed it most. Hence why I moved here.”
Jimin turns his head to look at him, “so, you really are gay?”
“As gay as they come,” Jeongguk nods, tucking his hands into his pocket and taking wider steps as they pass a packed bbq restaurant. Jimin suddenly moves to his other side, hiding behind him to avoid the people crowded around tables outside.
After a moment of silence, Jimin speaks, “I…uh… grew up in Gangnam with my parents, but I lived in a dorm when I was at performing arts school, and then when I was around twenty, I moved out on my own.”
“That’s young to be living on your own,” Jeongguk says, eyebrows raised.
Jimin just shrugs, his eyes focusing on a variety of fish swimming in tanks stacked outside of a seafood restaurant, the aqua blue lights casting a glow onto the road in front of them, “I guess,” he says quietly, “I didn’t really have a choice.”
Jeongguk nods, listening carefully, making sure he doesn’t pry or make Jimin close off seeing that this is the most he has ever spoken to him.
“What are your parents like?” he asks curiously.
Jimin tenses, voice turning cold, “I don’t want to talk about them.”
“Oh- sorry...”
“It’s fine, just- can we talk about something else?”
Jeongguk nods, looking at the fish as they pass them, the trickle of water filtering out amongst the busy city noises, making him miss home.
“Do you like crab?”
Jimin looks at Jeongguk in confusion, “crab?”
Jeongguk chuckles, stopping to lean down and look through the glass of the tank “…it’s what my family does back home, what I grew up doing,” he taps on the glass turning to smile up at Jimin, “fishing for crabs.”
Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise, “you’re a fisherman?”
Jeongguk chuckles, “no, but my father was, and my brother followed in his footsteps. My parents own a seafood restaurant in Cheongsapo, and my brother supplies them with fresh crab,” Jeongguk stands back up, leaning towards Jimin, “our crabs are a lot better than these ones,” he whispers, eyeing the crabs in the tanks disapprovingly.
“Yeah?” Jeongguk can hear a smile in Jimin’s voice, though he can’t see it.
“Mhm. I don’t want to brag, but my parents’ restaurant has won awards.”
Jimin raises an eyebrow, “is that so?”
“Yup. There’s even a plaque.”
“A plaque? Well, damn.”
“I know, right?” Jeongguk turns and walks with Jimin again, “in Busan that’s a big deal. We’re up there with the big dogs of sea food dining.”
“I would never peg you as the sailing type,” Jimin says, eyeing Jeongguk curiously.
Jeongguk chuckles, “well, as a child I spent a lot of time on my dads boat, then on my older brother’s boat when he got his own. The thing with being out at sea is there’s nothing there to distract you, it’s just you, the endless ocean and your thoughts.”
Jeongguk can’t help but smile nostalgically, and he feels Jimin watching him, “I realised I wanted to be a writer when I was out at sea. I realised that have a lot of thoughts in my head, so I wanted to be able to write them all down. That’s when I decided to come to Seoul to study journalism.”
“Were your parents okay with that? With you doing your own thing?” Jimin asks, curiosity in his voice.
“Yeah. I mean, they were definitely shocked at what a contrast it was from the rest of the family’s careers, but they always knew that I had more in me… things that I wanted to explore. I think if I stayed there I would have just talked their heads off till I drove them mad, so they were happy to see me go.”
Jimin’s eyes turn up a little, showing that he is smiling under his mask. Jeongguk wished he could see it.
They slip into a comfortable silence, walking side by side for a few minutes before Jeongguk speaks again.
“So, um… do you have a thing for foreign guys or something?”
“What?” Jimin turns and blinks at him in confusion.
“The guy… in the club.”
“Oh,” Jimin ducks his head, staring at his hands as he fiddles with his rings, “I- it’s not like that. It’s just- safer,” he mumbles.
“Safer?”
Jimin thinks for a moment before speaking, “foreign guys… like, tourists… they don’t know who I am. They don’t care about what I do. They just come here looking for a Korean guy to hook up with. Half of them never even ask my name, and if they do I just tell them a fake name. I don’t have to worry about them running to Dispatch to tell them I’m gay. It’s not ideal but I mean, it’s not like I can be in an actual relationship,” he says bitterly, kicking a can on the floor in front of him.
“Why not?” Jeongguk asks softly.
“It’s too dangerous,” Jimin says sadly. He fiddles with his rings before speaking again, his voice so low Jeongguk has to lean in to hear him, “years ago, when I was a lot younger… there was this guy. He convinced me he really liked me. He said he’d keep us a secret, but then suddenly he needed money and he didn’t even think twice about threatening to out me if I didn’t give it to him. He said I owed him for keeping the fact I’m gay a secret. I had to pay him off in the end, and I never saw him again,” he wraps his arms around himself protectively, “that’s when I realised I’m better off not getting close to anyone. It’s safer to just keep it physical, and only with men who definitely don’t know who I am.”
“Shit. I’m sorry, Jimin-ssi.”
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago,” he shrugs, “I learned my lesson.”
Jeongguk nods in understanding, “Is that why you come here? I mean this,” he gestures around them, “it’s not exactly where you find celebrities.”
Jimin nods, “I don’t do it often. I mean, this is the first time I’ve been out in like three months. But yeah, no one would think to look for me here, sneaking around in the shadows.”
“Like some sort of spy.”
Jeongguk can see Jimin smile under his mask, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I wish it was something cool like that, but actually it’s sort of sad. Park Jimin sneaking around gay bars to get laid.”
“I don’t think it’s sad,” Jeongguk shrugs as Jimin turns his head to look at him, “I think you have as much right to physical affection as the rest of us. It’s just a shame that you have to sneak around to receive it.”
“Physical affection huh,” Jimin says with a small smile, “…how poetic.”
“Well, I am a writer,” Jeongguk says as he directs Jimin down a different street, “or did you forget?”
“Oh, I’d never forget that,” Jimin replies, rolling his eyes.
Jeongguk chuckles. They fall into a comfortable silence as they walk, Jeongguk’s eyes flickering around until they settle on a familiar food stall which he comes too often, “hey, do you like tteokbokki?”
Jimin blinks at him, “of course.”
“Well then, you have to try this,” Jeongguk walks towards his favourite tteokbokki stand, the owner already nodding a greeting to him, having known him as a regular customer for years. Jimin silently follows, peeking over Jeongguk’s shoulder at the various dishes of rice cakes bubbling away, just waiting to be eaten.
“Looks as delicious as always,” Jeongguk chirps happily to the ajumma running the stall, who just smiles in return, “Two please!” The ajumma fills up two paper cups with the delicious chewy goodness and adds a skewer to the top. Jeongguk pays the woman and takes the two cups, handing one to Jimin. “You can thank me later.”
Jimin looks down at the steaming cup in his hand and back up and Jeongguk. “Thank you,” he says quietly glancing around cautiously before pulling his mask down under his chin as he takes a mouthful of tteokbokki.
“Good?” Jeongguk asks, leaning down a little into Jimin’s line of sight.
Jimin nods, his eyes widening, cheeks puffed out as he chews, “so good,” he mumbles, poking another rice cake ready for the next mouthful,
“See? I told you,” Jeongguk says smugly as he practically inhales his own cup. One cup just never seems enough. He turns to order another when a tentative voice calls out from beside them.
“Um e-excuse me. Are you Park Jimin?” a young woman asks Jimin, her friend looking at him with wide eyes. Jimin instantly pulls his mask up to cover his face again and shakes his head, turning away. Jeongguk immediately steps in front of him, putting himself between him and the two curious bystanders.
“He’s not, but he really looks like him right? He gets told that all the time. I’ve told him he should become Park Jimin’s stunt double or something. The resemblance is uncanny.”
“He’s… not Jimin?”
“Of course not. Why would Park Jimin be here? He’s probably at a movie premier or some rooftop bar in Gangnam or something.” Jimin stays silent, remaining tucked behind him, “You know, sometimes people tell me I look like Park Bogum. What do you think?” Jeongguk strikes a pose, running his hand through his hair.
“Oh… um… not really?” one of the girls replies, looking at him like he’s grown an extra head.
“What? You mean you can’t see it?” He turns his head to one side, then the other, before gesturing to the phone they had out ready to take a photo of Jimin, “look take a picture of me, go on, I’m telling you we’re identical.”
The girls take a step back, looking at each other nervously, “uh… no, we’re okay.”
Jeongguk pouts in fake disappointment, happy with how well he managed to deflect their attention, “fine, well if that’s the case, me and my friend are going to go now.” He turns without waiting for a reply, and wraps a firm arm around Jimin’s shoulder, tugging him away down the street. When he’s sure they’re clear from the potential danger he lets go of Jimin, looking at him as he sighs in relief.
“That was close.”
“Um, thank you,” Jimin says quietly, squeezing his hands together anxiously, “I thought for a second it was going to end up becoming a crowd like before.” He opens and closes his fists a few times as he speaks. He doesn’t seem to notice that habit of his, but Jeongguk has noticed he does it almost daily.
“I told you I’d handle it, okay? You can relax. I’ll just do the same if it happens again.”
“O-okay, yeah,” Jimin nods, relaxing a little and settling back into a steady walk. They emerge onto the main road leading down from Itaewon and through Hannam. There are still people about, but it is much quieter, making Jimin noticeably more at ease.
They fall into a silence again as they walk towards Nine One Hannam where Jimin lives. He can see the apartments in the distance, walls lit up from beneath with warm spotlights. Jeongguk had read that they’re the most expensive real estate in Seoul.
“Your apartment complex puts the cave I live in to shame,” Jeongguk chuckles, “it must be nice living there.”
“I guess,” Jimin replies with a shrug, “it feels too big sometimes.”
“I bet you could have some kick ass parties.”
“With who? I have three friends,” Jimin says dejectedly, and it tugs at Jeongguk’s heart.
“It’s not about quantity but quality, that’s the key,” Jeongguk says as they approach the complex, “keep your circle small but epic. Your friends all seem pretty special.”
Jimin smiles at that, nodding his head, “yeah, they are...”
As they approach the gated entrance Jimin turns to Jeongguk, “um- thank you, for walking me home.”
“You’re welcome, and don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone about… you know. I promise.”
Jimin nods, “thank you, I appreciate it. Sorry for cutting your night short.”
“It’s fine,” Jeongguk waves a hand through the air dismissively, “I actually really enjoyed this,” he gestures between them, “talking to you, it was nice. I like it much more than fighting.”
Jimin chuckles, shaking his head before looking at Jeongguk, “me too,” he says softly, his eyes turning into little half moons as he smiles under his mask. “I’d better go,” he says, walking backwards towards the entrance, “thanks again, for looking out for me.”
“You’re welcome,” Jeongguk says rocking slightly on his feet, his hands in his pockets, “enjoy your day off tomorrow.”
“You too,” Jimin says, pulling out a fob to open the door with a beep, “see you on Monday.”
Jeongguk watches Jimin disappear inside, the door closing behind him. He stands there for a moment before turning around and walking back towards Itaewon, trying to make sense of tonight’s events. Biggest bombshell: Jimin is gay. He still can’t quite believe that. After all the scandals? It’s made him realise that probably every rumour he’s ever read about Jimin has been a big fat lie.
As he jogs across the road, cutting down an alleyway to walk back through the backstreets of Itaewon towards his apartment, he thinks about the little bits of information Jimin has given him, the few puzzle pieces he might be able to piece together, to start to understand Jimin a little better.
He moved out when he was twenty and lives on his own in an apartment he says feels too big sometimes. He doesn’t go out much, choosing to stay in the safety of his apartment when he isn’t working. He doesn’t talk about his parents. He got screwed over by some dickhead ex-boyfriend who tried to blackmail him over his sexuality. That piece of information makes Jeongguk beyond mad. He would very much like to have a conversation with that ex… with his fists.
But he also feels so sad for Jimin, that someone he opened his heart to betrayed his trust like that, made him give up on being in a loving relationship. He thinks back to what Taehyung and Seokjin said about people trying to get close to Jimin to use him, or get dirt on him. It seems like Jimin’s spent his whole life being fucked over. No wonder he doesn’t trust anyone.
Jeongguk makes up his mind then that he’s going to make his article about Jimin the best damn article he’s ever written. He’ll make every other bullshit tabloid piece thats ever been written about Jimin obsolete. He’ll clear his name and his reputation. He’ll show the world the real Park Jimin.
It’s the least Jimin deserves.
Chapter 4: Just Breathe
Notes:
*Trigger warning* This chapter contains detailed scenes of anxiety and a panic attack.
Stay safe <3
Chapter Text
Just breathe…
Jeongguk walks into the studio on Monday morning feeling a whole lot lighter. It’s the start of his fourth week shadowing Jimin, almost the end of the first month, and for the first time since he’d started, he feels like he’s finally on level ground with Jimin. It feels like a new start… like he can finally do what he came here to do.
Though if he’s being honest, the article has sort of taken a back seat. He’d be lying if he said his need to figure out Jimin hadn’t gone beyond journalism. It was something deeper now.
He’d spent most of Sunday thinking about Jimin. Actually that’s a lie, he’d spend all of Sunday thinking about Jimin. He’d replayed their conversations from Saturday night over and over in his head, putting together the little bits of information that Jimin had given him, the small parts of himself he’d let him see. He thought the interaction would satisfy his curiously, but it’s actually done the opposite. It’s only made him more curious.
Jeongguk lets his feet carry him towards the set, bowing a polite greeting to a few familiar faces as he passes. After being here almost everyday for the last three weeks, he feels pretty at home. He gets on well with most of the staff, and they’ve all gotten used to him being around. They treat him like part of the furniture at this point, and on more than one occasion he has been asked to help carry or move something. He doesn’t mind though. It gives him something to do.
As he walks down the corridor towards the set, the door of Jimin’s dressing room flies open and Hoseok dashes out, running towards him with an armful of clothes.
“Oh, hi Jeongguk-ah!” he calls out as he zooms past, clearly in a rush, “you can wait in Jimin’s dressing room, I’ll be back in a second!” His voice fades out as he disappears around the corner.
Jeongguk stares after him for a moment in confusion before turning around with a shrug and continuing towards Jimin’s dressing room. When he reaches the door he knocks gently, listening for any signs of life. After a few moments of silence he pushes the door open, walking inside to find the room empty. He tries to ignore the feeling of disappointment that creeps up on him.
Jeongguk gravitates to the same chair he’d sat in before, pulling out his phone to check his emails and browse Naver. After a couple of minutes the door opens and Hoseok hurries back into the room, his arms now empty. He closes the door and walks over to the vanity, flopping down onto the chair with a groan.
“Busy morning?” Jeongguk asks, noticing Hoseok’s flushed cheeks, evidence of his rushing around.
“You can say that again,” Hoseok replies, standing back up and grabbing his makeup bag, unzipping it to search through the contents, “I just had to run over to another set. One of the stylists there had to take emergency leave so I’m having to cover for them today. My day is going to be pretty hectic so I might not see you much,” he pouts.
“Ah, that sucks. But on the plus side, at least your day will go faster,” Jeongguk shrugs in an attempt to cheer him up.
“That’s true,” Hoseok nods, glancing down at his watch, “Jimin should be here any minute, I’ll do his makeup quickly and then I need to rush off.”
Jeongguk nods in response, watching as Hoseok finishes arranging the make-up on the vanity.
“Speaking of Jimin,” Hoseok says in a singsong voice, turning the chair in front of the vanity around and sitting on it backwards, crossing his arms over the back, “I heard you had an interesting weekend?” He grins mischievously at Jeongguk, resting his chin on his arms.
Jeongguk splutters, “y- you heard about that?”
Hoseok chuckles, “if by heard you mean did Jimin call me at 2am, babbling about you walking in on him with some guy in a club, you guys having a heart to heart in the VIP bathroom before you bought him tteokbokki and walked him home, then yes, I heard about it.”
Jeongguk sits there with his mouth hanging open like a fish. He doesn’t know why he thought Jimin wouldn’t tell anyone. Maybe because it happened at a gay club, but of course Hoseok would know that Jimin is gay. They’ve been best friends since they were kids. He’s glad Jimin has at least one person in his life he can confide in, especially about his sexuality.
“Sooo,” Hoseok says with a smirk, pulling him out of his thoughts, “did you have fun getting to know each other?”
Jeongguk blows out a breath, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know if fun is the right word… I mean I cock-blocked the poor guy and nearly gave him a heart attack,” he chuckles awkwardly, “but yeah, it was nice… spending time with him I mean. I enjoyed having an actual conversation. He’s- yeah, he’s…”
Sweet. Cute. Funny. Kind. Interesting. So damn beautiful.
“He’s… nice,” he says instead, clearing his throat, “we, uh- we talked a lot.”
“Oh, I know you did,” Hoseok says raising an eyebrow, “you never told me you were a fisherman.”
Jeongguk groans, running a hand over his face, “jeez, he really told you everything.”
Hoseok rolls his eyes, “I’m his best friend, of course he told me everything.” His face softens as he continues, “he liked it too. Talking to you. I never thought I would see the day Jiminie wanted to spend time with someone other than me or Taehyung or Seokjin-hyung. You’re definitely growing on him.”
“I am?” Jeongguk asks, and he cringes at the fact he can’t hide the hopeful tone in his voice.
Hoseok nods, “the way he was talking about you, yeah.”
“Cool, that’s- that’s good,” Jeongguk nibbles on his bottom lip, silent for a few moments before his curiosity gets the better of him, “so, uh… what… uh,” he tries to act casual, “what sort of things did he say about me?”
Hoseok opens his mouth to speak, but is cut off by the door of the dressing room opening. Jeongguk turns his head to see Jimin walking into the room, the hood of his hoodie low over his un-styled hair as usual. He’s sipping on an iced coffee, his free hand holding a cardboard drink holder with two more coffees.
“Good morning, hyung,” Jimin says to Hoseok. He glances at Jeongguk, offering a small smile before looking away quickly when their eyes meet. “Good morning, Jeongguk-ssi,” he says softly as he turns and closes the door behind him, walking further into the room and placing his coffee down on the table.
“Good morning Jimin-ssi,” Jeongguk says with a smile.
Jimin walks over to Hoseok, “I got you your usual, hyung,” he says as he slips one of the coffee’s from the holder and hands it to him.
Hoseok looks like he might cry, “Jiminie, I love you. Have I ever told you that?”
“All the time,” Jimin chuckles as Hoseok takes the coffee and sips it appreciatively.
“Um…” Jimin falters for a second before walking towards Jeongguk, holding out the other coffee, “iced americano right?”
Jeongguk’s stomach does a little thing when he sees the way Jimin’s cheeks flush involuntarily. “Yeah,” Jeongguk nods quickly, talking the coffee, “thank you. It’s really kind of you to get me this.”
“You’re welcome, uh, I guess it’s kind of a… peace offering,” he shrugs, peeking at Jeongguk from behind his bangs.
Jeongguk smiles fondly up at Jimin, feeling warmth bloom in his chest. Jimin’s eyes widen a little and he looks away again, fidgeting with his hands before walking to sit in the makeup chair.
Hoseok wastes no time in getting started on Jimin’s hair and makeup for the day, and by the time Jeongguk finishes his coffee, he’s done, hastily cleaning away the products on the vanity.
“Dammit,” Hoseok looks at his watch, “I have to go. You’ll be okay, right?” he asks Jimin tentatively.
“I’ll be fine,” Jimin nods with a small smile.
Hoseok walks over to the clothing rack, straightening out the garments before gesturing to them, “these are the outfits for today’s scenes. Start from the front here and work backwards,” he says, pointing to each set of clothing, “there are three outfits, okay?”
“Okay,” Jimin nods.
“I don’t trust you. Jeongguk-ah?”
Jeongguk’s head snaps up, “yes?”
“First outfit. Second outfit. Third outfit. Got it?”
Jeongguk nods, “got it.”
“Good,” Hoseok sighs, waking over to where Jimin sits on his chair, leaning in close, “if you need me, I’m just a phone call away,” he says in a hushed voice.
“Thanks hyung,” Jimin smiles fondly.
Hoseok pats Jimin on the head and then turns to Jeongguk, “look after him please,” he says softly.
Jeongguk nods firmly and Hoseok smiles. He says his goodbyes and disappears to do his other jobs, leaving Jeongguk and Jimin alone together. Jimin stands up and walks over to the rack, running his hand over the sleeve of the first outfit.
“Aren’t there other assistants that can help you when Hoseokie-hyung is busy?” Jeongguk asks.
“There is, but they’re all scared of me,” Jimin shrugs.
“Really?”
“Yeah. They would do it if I asked, but I’m not going to make them do something they don’t want to do. Anyway, I’m more than capable of looking after myself.”
“Are you now? Is that why hyung asked me to look after you?” Jeongguk teases.
Jimin’s lips pull into a small smile, “he just worries about me too much. He’s been like that since we were kids.” He takes his first outfit off the rack, turning and raising an eyebrow at Jeongguk, “so are you going to sit there and watch me change?”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he jumps to his feet, cheeks feeling a little flushed, “n-no, of course not. I- I’ll be outside in my usual spot,” he splutters. As he runs out of the door he hears Jimin giggle. It’s so small and gentle, he could have sworn he imagined it.
—
Jimin appears on set a few minutes later, his script in his hand as he goes over his lines one last time before filming. His eyes scour the page, his lips moving as he reads the words aloud under his breath. The studio is busy as usual, people moving around, preparing for the scene they are about to shoot.
Jeongguk finds himself gravitating to where Jimin is sat, to the side of the set. Even just sitting there, he has this aura. This intensity about him. Jeongguk watches as one of the assistants tentatively hurries up to him, saying something as he gestures to the cameras in front. Jimin follows his hand, listening for a moment before nodding in response. The assistant bows and hurries away, passing Jeongguk as he sits down beside Jimin.
“You know, I thought being a journalist was a hectic job, but I think this puts it to shame,” he says, looking at Jimin.
Jimin glances up at him, offering him a small smile before looking back at his lines, “it depends on the day, I suppose. But yeah, it can get quite stressful when you’re on a time limit, and have a schedule of what needs to be filmed in a day.”
“Im guessing you can’t leave until everything is done?”
Jimin shakes his head, “only on rare occasions will they postpone filming, like some kind of emergency. But it hardly ever happens. Most of the time you’re expected to carry on regardless.”
“What if you’re sick?” Jeongguk asks.
Jimin snorts, “the show must go on. If I’m not here there’s no drama.”
Jeongguk frowns, “that’s a lot of pressure on you though,” he gestures around the set, “any one of these people could be sick and take a day off, and the schedule would just keep going. But if it’s you, they force you to work or they have to postpone the drama?”
“Pretty much,” Jimin replies, turning to the next page of his lines.
Jeongguk huffs, “if I was sick and they told me I had to work a twelve hour day under these blinding lights I think I’d just tell them to shove it, and then stay in bed all day with my phone turned off.”
Jimin chuckles, looking up at him, “that’s why you’d be fired from your first acting job.”
Jeongguk sighs dramatically, “well, I guess that’s why I’m not an actor.”
“Oh, so if it wasn’t for that, you’d be a top actor?” Jimin says, raising an eyebrow.
Jeongguk leans back in his chair, smiling smugly, “let’s just say you’d be competing against me for all those shiny awards you keep winning.”
Jimin grins, standing up and placing his script down on the chair, “well I’ll count myself lucky that you chose to force unwanted articles onto people as your career choice instead.”
“Ooh, low blow,” Jeongguk puts his hand to his heart, feigning hurt and Jimin giggles before walking out onto the set, the director calling out instructions to him from his chair behind the cameras.
He quickly positions Jimin where he needs him, and the cameras started rolling. Jimin quickly falls into character, reeling off his lines with practiced ease. Jeongguk watches in awe. Jimin really is a fantastic actor. He leaves you hanging on every word. Jeongguk can’t help but wonder why it is that Jimin seems to ooze confidence in front of the camera, yet off camera he can barely look people in the eye.
The first scene takes a couple of hours to film, but it goes off without a hitch. They’re half way through filming the second scene when there’s a commotion from the other side of the studio, raised voices disturbing the filming and forcing the director to call ‘cut’.
Jeongguk looks towards the noise to see a woman sauntering across the studio. He recognises her instantly as Park Sunhi, famous actress and Jimin’s mother. She is quite petite, her small face and long black hair making her look much younger than she actually is. She’s definitely had some work done, the surgeries obvious from certain angles, but even so, she is beautiful. A beauty which she was famed for in her glory days, a beauty which Jimin has definitely inherited.
She has a small Chihuahua tucked under her arm, the dog wearing a jewelled collar which probably cost more than Jeongguk’s entire yearly pay. She’s smiling, but it’s not a friendly smile. It’s condescending, her demeanour screaming egotistical and conceited, from the way she looks down her nose at the staff and crew members, to the way she ignores the fact they were obviously right in the middle of filming a scene.
She struts straight across the set to the director, completely ignoring Jimin. “Hello, director-nim,” she smiles a sickly sweet fake smile, “it’s been too long. How are you?”
“Sunhi-ssi, it’s so good to see you again,” the director says with an equally fake smile, the tone of his voice suddenly three octaves higher as he bows to the actress, “to what do I owe this honour? Are you here to see your son working?”
Jeongguk can’t help but raise an eyebrow at the exchange. He finds it funny that the director doesn’t seem at all bothered about the disruption to filming, even though any other time he would be fuming.
Jimin is still stood in front of the camera, mouth open and eyes wide as he stares at his mother. Jeongguk watches as the blood slowly drains from his face.
“No no, I’m not here to see him,” she waves her hand in the air dismissively, “I was just in the area.” She lifts the dog in her arms, pressing a kiss to its nose. Jeongguk likes dogs, but he must say this one closely resembles a rat or small rodent. “It’s been a while since I last saw you, director-nim,” she continues, “since that commercial we filmed for my husbands company maybe?”
“Yes, I remember it well,” the director lifts his hand to stroke the dog, pulling it back with a yelp when it yaps and snaps its teeth at him.
“Ooh, I’m sorry, Chi Chi only likes cuddles from me, don’t you sweetie-pie,” she says to the dog in a pouty voice, stroking it’s head. Jeongguk wants to gag. “Anyway, I didn’t realise Jimin would be working today, isn’t that funny,” she smiles another one of those fake smiles, “please continue filming, I’ll wait until you finish this scene. I don’t want to be a bother.”
“Of course,” the director replies with an awkward laugh, turning to where Jimin still stands in front of the camera, frozen like a deer caught in the headlights, “Jimin-ssi, let’s restart the scene from the lines we just filmed.”
Jimin just stands there for a moment, staring between his mother and the director before taking a shaky breath,“o-okay,” he says with a nod. Jeongguk can see him trying to get back into character, but there’s a shift in his stance, a tremor to his hands as he clenches them at his sides, knuckles turning white. Jeongguk feels himself step forward, uneasiness settling in his gut as he watches him.
As he moves towards Jimin, a voice suddenly comes from beside him, “Jeon Jeongguk?” Jeongguk startles, turning away from Jimin to see Park Sunhi standing beside him with her dog in her arms, a condescending smile on her face as she looks him up and down, “You’re the writer from GQ that wrote the article about my mother, aren’t you? I never forget a pretty face.”
“Oh, uh yes, I did,” Jeongguk greets her politely with a bow, dropping his voice to a whisper as the director calls ‘action’ and Jimin starts his take. Sunhi however, doesn’t seem to care about the filming at all, not lowering her voice even a bit as she continues talking to Jeongguk.
“That article was a great success. My mother’s career was, and still is outstanding. I appreciate you doing it justice with your writing.”
“Thank you. I’ll be sure to do your son’s justice too,” Jeongguk whispers, turning back to look at Jimin again. He flinches as Jimin messes up his line and the director has to call ‘cut’. It reminds him of the last time Jimin had trouble with his lines, that same look on his face, although this time his eyes keep flickering over to his mother.
“Well, I don’t think you can really compare my son’s career to my mother’s and mine,” Sunhi glances over at Jimin, speaking loud enough for him to hear, “he doesn’t exactly live up to the Park name. I mean, I’m sure you’ve seen all the headlines. He’s always involved in some sort of scandal. It’s like he’s constantly seeking negative attention, from me, his father, the press. It’s such a shame,” she sighs, “he had so much potential as a child.”
Jimin stumbles over his words again and again, his body growing more and more tense with each shout of ‘cut’. Jeongguk can see his breathing growing heavier, his hands clenching and unclenching as his eyes dart to where his mother stands. Sunhi just sighs loudly, as if she’s being inconvenienced by Jimin’s struggle.
“He’s always doing this,” she says brashly, not bothering to lower her voice, “always making a scene like this. He’s been the same ever since he was a child, always crying and making a fuss. I worked so hard getting him jobs in adverts and dramas, and then as soon as we were on set it was all ‘mummy please don’t make me to do it’ or ‘mummy I want to go home’. It was so embarrassing.”
She shakes her head, gesturing at Jimin who is standing motionless as he listens to her speak, “as he got older he started this stammering thing. I made him see a speech therapist but they said that it’s something psychosomatic,” she waves a hand in the air dismissively, “the doctors don’t know what they’re taking about. My son is fine, he’s just difficult. It’s such a shame because he had so much potential, but I guess he just doesn’t have the talent he was supposed to inherit from his grandmother and I.”
Jeongguk stands there with his mouth open. He’s been stunned into silence for a while now, basically from when Sunhi had started talking. He can’t even comprehend what he’s just heard. How can a mother speak about her own son that way, as if his struggles were nothing but an inconvenience?
He glances over at Jimin, who is looking around anxiously, his fists clenched tightly. Everyone has stopped what they were doing, dozens of eyes watching and listening. Judging. Sunhi seems to have lost interest, currently more focused on the dog in her arms. Jeongguk finds himself walking forwards towards Jimin.
“Jimin-ssi…” he says softly, approaching him tentatively. Jimin’s eyes meet his, or maybe they don’t…he doesn’t seem to be focussing anymore.
“I-I’m s-sorry… I j-just… I-I need-” Jimin takes a shuddering breath before stumbling past him, knocking a few startled staff members out of the way as he rushes off the set towards his dressing room. Before Jeongguk can even think, he finds himself running after him.
“Jimin-ssi?” Jeongguk says as he pushes the door of the dressing room open. He finds Jimin frantically turfing through his bag on the vanity, his movements knocking makeup to the ground, the glass bottles and plastic cases clattering on the floor, “Jimin-ssi? Are you okay?”
That’s a stupid question. Jimin is obviously not okay. He’s trembling from head to toe, hands shaking and chest heaving. He gives up trying to find whatever he’s looking for and stumbles backwards, letting out a broken sob before squatting down, dropping his head between his legs, his hands fisted in his hair. He doesn’t even seem to notice that Jeongguk is there.
Jeongguk quickly pulls out his phone and dials Hoseok’s number, but there’s no answer. He said he would be busy today, and he’s probably not got his phone on him. Jeongguk curses under his breath, tucking his phone away as he makes his way over to Jimin, dropping onto his knees in front of him.
He knows what’s happening. His friend in high school had an anxiety disorder, and would often have panic attacks when he was triggered. Jeongguk leans in close, careful not to touch Jimin, not knowing if that could make him worse.
“Jimin? Can you hear me? It’s Jeongguk. I need you to slow your breathing down for me, okay?”
Jimin’s breathing is erratic, his face dropped low, hair falling forward. His breath catches, and Jeongguk sees tears falling from the bridge of his nose onto the floor below.
“Jimin? Can you look at me?” Jeongguk says calmly and softly. Jimin lifts his head, his face pale, cheeks wet with tears.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. Just breathe with me,” Jeongguk raises and lowers his hands in time with the rhythm of his own slow breaths, “in… and out… in… and out. Just like me.” Jimin looks at him, letting out small sobs as he tries to match his breathing.
“That’s great, you’re doing so well, keep going,” Jeongguk encourages him.
As his breathing slowly gets steadier, Jimin unclenches his fists and reaches out with trembling hands to rub his palms along the rough carpeted floor, eyes locked onto the movement. Jeongguk isn’t an expert, but he had researched a lot about anxiety and panic attacks when he was at school to help his friend, so he recognises what Jimin is doing. He’s trying to anchor himself, to remind himself of the realities around him, the feel of the rough surfaces, asking himself what they feel like, where he is right now. His breathing begins to slow some more.
“You’re here. You’re with me. It’s okay,” Jeongguk says, and Jimin looks back up to him, eyes locking onto his, “just focus on your breathing. You’re doing great.”
Jimin nods shakily, and Jeongguk feels relief wash over him seeing Jimin slowly coming back to himself. He continues to feel different textures around him, the carpet, his shirts and jeans, before moving onto Jeongguk’s trousers, brushing his hands gently across his knees. Jeongguk guesses that tactile anchors and textures must be what Jimin uses to break from the feeling of ‘unreality’ that panic attacks can give some people. It seems to be working.
As he watches Jimin slowly calm down, everything suddenly clicks. He doesn’t know why he didn’t realise sooner, it’s pretty obvious when he thinks of all of Jimin’s mannerisms. The way he hides in his dressing room whenever he’s not filming, avoiding interaction with anyone unfamiliar. The way he often can’t meet people’s eyes. The way he fiddles with his fingers when he’s nervous. The way he opens and closes his fists whenever he becomes agitated. The few times he’s lashed out when he was overwhelmed. There are so many signs of an anxiety disorder. Jeongguk feels his heart break for Jimin that he has to keep it all bottled up. That his shyness and anxiousness is mistaken for rudeness and arrogance.
“Jimin, are you with me?” Jeongguk asks, searching Jimin’s face. His breathing is almost normal now, and a little bit of colour has returned to his cheeks. Jeongguk can see the exact moment the last of the excess adrenaline fades away and exhaustion sets in. Jimin keeps his hands on Jeongguk’s knees, his eyes drooping as he teeters slightly to the side. Jeongguk reaches forward, steadying him with firm yet gentle hands, “woah woah, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” he says softly, “lets lay you down for a bit, hm? Can you stand up for me?”
Jimin’s eyes blink slowly, and he nods. He grasps onto Jeongguk as he helps him stand up on shaky legs, leading him to the small sofa set against the back wall of the dressing room. Jimin instantly curls up onto it, eyes almost instantly falling closed in his exhausted state. Jeongguk finds a blanket tucked down the side of the sofa and covers Jimin with it. He squats down in front of the sofa, resting his chin on his knees as he looks at Jimin laying curled up, his eyes closed, breathing slow and steady.
Jeongguk has never experienced anxiety like that before, but it looked like a terrifying thing to go through. He reaches out subconsciously and gently brushes a strand of hair off of Jimin’s face. Jimin’s eyes flicker open, his eyelids heavy, nose red and eyes puffy from where he’d been crying.
“I’m s-sorry,” he whispers, his voice croaky.
Jeongguk is taken aback, tilting his head in confusion, “for what?”
“M-making a fuss,” he says timidly.
Park Sunhi’s words run through Jeongguk’s head- “he’s been the same ever since he was a child, always crying and making a fuss.” His blood boils thinking of a younger Jimin being told he was ‘making a fuss’ when he was feeling anxious, or being told he was being ‘difficult’ when he felt scared or overwhelmed.
“Hey,” Jeongguk reaches forward, only hesitating a moment before placing his hand on top of Jimin’s, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “you have nothing to apologise for, okay? Nothing. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”
Jimin sniffs, looking at where Jeongguk’s hand lays over his own, “thank you… for helping me.”
“It’s not a problem, honestly,” Jeongguk hums. He realises that he and Jimin have basically been holding hands for a few minutes now, and slips his hand away from over Jimin’s. Jimin’s hand curls up at the loss, tucking close to his chest. “You should try to drink some water,” Jeongguk says. He stands up and fetches a bottle of water from beside the makeup vanity, opening it and coming back over to Jimin, “can you sit up?”
Jimin nods, pushing himself to sit up, knees tucked up against his chest as he takes the bottle, “thank you,” he says, sipping the water slowly.
There’s a knock on the door and Jimin’s face drops, glancing towards it. “Stay here, I’ll get it,” Jeongguk says, gesturing for Jimin to remain seated. Jimin hesitates for a moment before he nods and sinks back into the sofa.
Jeongguk walks to the door and opens it to find the assistant director standing there. “Hello,” the man says abruptly, “will Jimin-ssi be returning to set? His mother has left already and we are on a tight schedule. We really need to continue filming.”
The man tries to peek around him, but Jeongguk quickly blocks his view, leaning on the doorframe and pulling the door closer to his body, “he’s not feeling well right now-”
“It’s okay Jeongguk-ssi, I-I’ll get ready now, tell them to give me a few minutes,” Jimin says, shakily standing up from the sofa and walking over to his bag which is still open on the vanity, contents spread across the surface from his panicked searching earlier.
“Hold on,” Jeongguk says to the director, closing the door before he has a chance to reply. He walks over to see Jimin pulling out the familiar bottle of pills he has seen him take countless times.
Jimin sees him looking, “they’re for my anxiety,” he says quietly, swallowing one down with water.
Of course they were for his anxiety. How could he miss the fact that Jimin only ever took them when he was agitated. Jeongguk winces as his own voice echoes through his head- “I’m just trying to do my job, and at least I can get through a days work without doping myself up on pills to do it!” God, he was such a dick. How did Jimin not punch him in the face there and then? He’s is a much better person than him thats for sure.
Jimin looks at himself in the mirror. “Oh god, I’m a mess,” he says, taking in the smeared make-up under his eyes. He fumbles through the products strewn across the vanity, bending down to pick up the bits that he’d knocked onto the floor earlier. His hands tremble a little as he tries to wipe the smudged make-up from under his eyes with a tissue.
“Jimin-ssi…” Jeongguk says softly, “do you want to go home?”
Jimin blinks at him, “I… I can’t. Didn’t you hear the assistant director. We have a schedule.”
“Fuck the schedule. You just had a panic attack. I don’t think you’re in any state to get back in front of the camera.”
“I have before…” Jimin says quietly, fiddling with the tissue in his hands.
“Well, that was before. Your health is priority Jimin-ssi, the drama can wait.”
“B-but- they’ll write about it…”
“Who will?”
“The press… It’ll be all over the headlines tomorrow, ‘Park Jimin storms off set after a fight with his mother’. They’ll make it into another scandal…”
“How would then even find out about it?” Jeongguk asks.
Jimin scoffs, “there were about fifty people watching what just happened, you think one of them won’t go to the press for a bit of extra money.”
Jeongguk frowns, “but don’t all the staff have to sign NDAs on productions like this?”
“Its never stopped them before,” Jimin says bitterly, throwing the crumpled up tissue onto the vanity.
Jeongguk feels his blood boil as he looks at Jimin, looking so tired and defeated. He wonders if the journalists who write those bullshit articles have any idea what they do to him? How they make him feel? Do they even care? Probably not.
“Fuck the articles,” Jeongguk says, looking at Jimin determinedly, “they’re all bullshit anyway. You said yourself they just make up lies and shit to sell their stories. Don’t let them control you. Don’t sacrifice your mental health for a bunch of nobodies.” He looks at Jimin, and when the other stays silent he speaks again, “how many scenes are left for today?”
“Two.”
“Well, do you feel like you can do them?”
“I… I don’t know,” Jimin takes a breath and rubs his hands over his eyes, pulling them away and looking at the smeared makeup on his hands.
“Do you want to do them?”
Jimin looks at Jeongguk for a moment before speaking, “…no” he says barely higher than a whisper.
“Okay… so do you want to go home?” Jeongguk asks again.
Jimin looks at him for a moment, then nods.
Jeongguk smiles reassuringly, “okay, let’s get you home then.”
“But, m-my driver doesn’t come until the end of the working day. I’ll have to call him,” Jimin reaches for his bag, searching for his phone.
“Don’t worry, my car is here, I’ll take you,” Jeongguk says.
Jimin blinks at him, “y-you’ll take me home?”
“Of course. Get changed and grab your things, I’ll wait outside for you,” Jeongguk says, nodding towards the door.
“A-are you sure?” Jimin says, seeming surprised but hopeful.
“Positive.”
“Okay… t-thank you.”
Jeongguk nods. walking out of the dressing room and almost barrelling head first into the assistant director who has either been waiting outside the dressing room, or has just returned. He looks at Jeongguk in surprise, opening his mouth to ask for Jimin again.
“Sorry, but I’m taking Jimin-ssi home for the day,” Jeongguk says before he can speak, carefully choosing his words to deflect the blame onto himself. He knows that this will delay everyone’s schedule, and cause a lot of aggravation, but what’s most important right now is Jimin’s mental health.
“What?!” the man says in shock, “h-he can’t leave!”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, because he’s leaving,” Jeongguk shrugs, “You’ll have to juggle the schedule and film some other scenes today with the other actors. Or push it back half a day.”
The assistant director sputters like an old car engine, trying to put his words together in a counter argument to Jeongguk when the director himself appears, looking agitated.
“What’s taking so long?” he asks stiffly, “where’s Jimin-ssi?”
“H-he…” the assistant director splutters before Jeongguk interrupts him, “he’s not feeling well so I’m taking him home,” he says with conviction, eyes locked with the director’s.
The directors eyes widen, “I’m afraid thats not possible,” he snaps, “we have a schedule-”
Just then the door behind Jeongguk opens and Jimin slips out. He’s changed into his sweat pants and oversized hoodie, mask on, hugging his bag to his chest. He looks vulnerable, shrinking away from the two agitated men standing in front of him, and the curious eyes of passing crew. Jeongguk feels a protectiveness overtake him, stepping in front of him.
“Jimin-ssi,” the director says brashly over Jeongguk’s shoulder, “this is going to delay the release of the next episode. You’re going to need to stay-”
“I’m going to need you to back off,” Jeongguk says with a tight smile, standing up a little straighter and showing how much he really towers over the director. If he worked here he would definitely not try this, but luckily he has nothing to do with this production company, so really, with Jimin vulnerable and tucked behind him, he couldn’t care less. “Park Jimin has become unwell, he will be taking the afternoon off to rest. Unless of course you would like me to write in my article for GQ magazine that the director of this drama and the production company mistreat their actors, and don’t care for their mental & physical well being?”
The director splutters, looking at Jimin, and then back at Jeongguk. He looks like he wants to argue, but in the end he backs down, “I- uh- no. Yes, you’re right. Jimin-ssi… please rest well and we’ll see you tomorrow,” he says in a stiff voice, his jaw clenched tight.
“That’s more like it, my opinion of this production company is improving by the second,” Jeongguk says with a fake smile before turning to Jimin, “Jimin-ssi, let’s go.”
Jimin stays quiet as he walks along with Jeongguk, head tucked low as they pass curious staff on their way out. He only relaxes a little when they get to the carpark. Jeongguk leads Jimin over to his car, unlocking it with a beep as they approach. He climbs into the drivers seat, and Jimin slips into the passenger side, closing the door behind him. He places his bag in between his feet in the footwell and pulls the seatbelt across his chest before sinking into the seat with a relieved sigh.
“Thank you…” he says as Jeongguk turns on the engine.
“Seriously, it’s no problem,” Jeongguk says, taking his phone out of his pocket and sending a quick message to Hoseok to explain the situation and telling him that Jimin has gone home, before pulling out of the car park onto the main road.
Jimin stares out of the window in silence for a while, twisting at the cuffs of his hoodie before speaking, “…y-you won’t write this in your article, will you?”
“Jimin-ssi,” Jeongguk groans.
“I know, I know… you’re going to say that you won’t, and I’m stupid for asking, but I can’t help it,” he huffs in frustration, “It’s that little voice, you know?” he glances over at Jeongguk, “that niggling doubt that tells me not to trust you because you’re just going to screw me over like everyone else.”
Jeongguk’s chest squeezes at the vulnerability of Jimin’s words. “Look, I know we didn’t get off to the best start,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “but I promise you I’m not here to screw you over. None of this is going into the article, okay?” He looks over at Jimin, trying to get his sincerity across. Jimin looks at him for a moment before nodding gently, seeming to accept his answer.
They sit in silence as they drive through the city towards Hannam, the radio playing soft music in the background. As they reach the entrance to Jimin’s apartment complex, Jeongguk pulls to a stop at the security gates and Jimin leans across him to give over his residence access card. Not that he needed to, the guard recognised him straight away.
The gate opens and Jeongguk drives down a sloped ramp into a large underground parking lot for the residents who live in the apartments above. He follows Jimin’s directions until he pulls up into the spot for Jimin’s own apartment.
Jimin undoes his seatbelt and turns in his chair to face Jeongguk, “thank you, Jeongguk-ssi, for everything you did for me today- I… I don’t know how to explain it, but you being there really helped…”
Jeongguk smiles, “you’re welcome. I’m just sorry you had to go through that.”
“I must seem so pathetic. Having a full blown panic attack because my own mother showed up,” he closes his eyes and shakes his head, “you must think I’m so stupid.”
“No, I don’t think that at all. To be honest, she was talking to me for a bit, and, well, she seems, uh…” he nibbles on his bottom lip, searching for the words carefully.
“Horrible?” Jimin scoffs, “you don’t have to sugar coat it Jeongguk-ssi, I know her better than anyone. I heard what she said to you,” Jeongguk looks at him sympathetically, “don’t worry, it’s nothing I haven’t heard from her a million times.”
Jimin closes his eyes for a second, before opening them again and looking at Jeongguk, “I don’t know why, but my brain has this strange reaction around my parents. Like I’m hyper sensitive to every little movement, every shake of their head or eye roll. It really gets in my head. I mean, you heard what she said about me. Im just an attention seeking disappointment.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, “You’re not a disappointment. I’ve watched your acting for over a month now, and you’re really fucking talented. Only thirty seconds into the conversation with that woman I realised she was full of bullshit- oh- no offence,” Jeongguk quietly adds.
Jimin chuckles, “none taken.” They sit in silence for a moment before Jimin speaks again, “Um…” he twists at the front of his hoodie, “what are your plans for today?”
“Me? Nothing. Go home, water my plants, feed my fish…”
“You have fish?”
“I do. Two gold fish, actually. They’re Ranchu goldfish. They kinda look like little balls of orange popcorn floating around the tank.”
Jimin pulls one leg up, resting his head against the headrest, “what are their names?”
“I named them Yoongi and Namjoon after my best friends.”
Jimin chuckles, “I bet they loved you for that.”
“To be honest they didn’t really say anything, but maybe that’s because they’re underwater…”
It takes Jimin a moment to get the joke, but the second he gets it he falls against the chair laughing. Jeongguk has noticed he has a habit of losing control of his limbs when he laughs. It’s adorable.
“You are funny, Jeon Jeongguk,” Jimin chuckles.
Jeongguk grins, “I’m glad I entertain you. Anyway, I should probably get going?”
Jimin tenses, turning serious again, “w-wait, can you stay… please? With me… just for a bit? Until Hobi-hyung gets here” Jimin looks intently at Jeongguk, hands closing tight into fists in his lap, “I-I have Netflix? We can watch a movie…if you want. Hoseok will come over after work like he always does.”
By the time Jimin finishes his speech, he is practically out of breath, cheeks flushed and eyes darting anywhere but at Jeongguk. Jeongguk can’t help but feel endeared to him for the tenth time today. How had he once hated this guy? He’s literally crumbling apart with just one invitation.
“Of course, I’d love to stay,” Jeongguk says with a calm smile, hoping his energy will calm Jimin a little “but the big question is, what movie will we watch?”
Jimin’s face spreads into a relieved smile “uh well- pretty much anything that’s on Netflix. You can have a search through it.”
“Well then, lead the way.”
———
Jimin’s apartment complex is probably one of the fanciest residential buildings that Jeongguk has ever set foot in. They exit the car park through a sort of armoured door where Jimin has to use a fob to gain access. It leads onto a marble corridor containing two matt black elevators. He feels like he’s in some sort of five star hotel, which he guesses makes sense because he’s read that this complex is one of the most expensive real estates in Seoul.
Jeongguk tries to not look too shell shocked by what a stark contrast this is to his own apartment complex, which doesn’t even have an elevator.
“You know, If anyone were to walk by and not know who we are, they would probably mistake me for the millionaire instead,” he says as he follows Jimin.
Jimin snorts, “is that because I look like shit right now?”
“What- no!” Jeongguk hurries to say, “you look great!” Jimin raises an eyebrow, “I- okay, what I mean is that you don’t look like some fancy celebrity. You just look…” Jeongguk gestures at him, “…normal. I’m actually feeling overdressed for once.” He follows Jimin to the elevator and Jimin swipes his security fob again, a melodic voice ringing out as the doors slide open.
“Well, it may shock you to know, I actually am normal,” Jimin jokes as they step into the elevator, pressing a button on the wall as the doors close behind them, “this is how I dress most of the time… minus the panda eyes,” he waves a hand in front of his face.
The elevator slows to a stop and the doors open with a ding onto a white marble corridor with one very fancy looking black door at the end. Jeongguk looks around and realises that there are no other doors, meaning that this whole floor is just Jimin’s apartment. Jimin opens his front door and gestures for Jeongguk to enter.
Jeongguk’s jaw drops as he walks into the apartment because holy shit, it is HUGE. The living room alone is twice the size of his apartment, there’s a tv which is more like a cinema screen, and the sofa is bigger than his car. It looks like the type of sofa you could sink into and never return. The floors are shiny white marble, and ginormous windows look out onto a beautiful view of Namsan tower. There’s a huge kitchen to the left, and multiple corridors leading off to other rooms. The apartment is massive. He knew Jimin was rich, but damn.
Jimin kicks off his shoes, placing his bag and keys on top of a cabinet to the side. “Um- make yourself at home,” he gestures for Jeongguk to enter.
Jeongguk takes off his own shoes, slipping on a pair of house shoes that were by the door. He walks further into the apartment, looking around in awe. Jimin remains by the front door, fiddling with his fingers awkwardly, like he’s not sure what to do now that Jeongguk is actually in his apartment.
“Uh, would you like a coffee? Or tea?” he says hesitantly.
“A coffee would be great, thank you- wait what kind of tea do you have?”
“Um, Ginseng? Taehyung keeps telling me to drink it. He says that it’s good for basically everything. He swears by the stuff.”
Jeongguk taps his lips thoughtfully, “hmm, okay I’ll try one of those then, I’m trying to cut down on my daily coffee intake.” Jimin nods, padding over to the kitchen. He opens one of the sleek cupboards and pulls out a box of tea and a fancy looking glass tea brewer that Jeongguk has seen used in cafés. He puts in a few spoonfuls of tea and fills it up with hot water from one of those special taps that boils the water for you.
“I’ve always wanted one of those taps,” Jeongguk says as Jimin opens another cupboard and grabs two mugs, placing them down on the marble work surface. “Oh really?” Jimin says, his head tilting as he looks at the tap, “I guess it’s useful… I’ve never really thought about it. It came with the apartment,” he shrugs, pouring out two mugs of tea, bringing one over to Jeongguk.
“Thanks,” Jeongguk says, blowing the hot liquid before taking a sip. It’s surprisingly not that bad, a slight medicinal and earthy taste, but only subtle. He takes another sip and smiles at Jimin, “I’ve never had ginseng tea before. My grandmother loves it though, so she would be very proud of me right now.”
Jimin sips his own cup of tea and gestures to the sofa, “you can make yourself comfortable,” he says walking over and sitting down on it, tucking his legs underneath himself. Jeongguk sits down next to him, leaving a little space in between them. He turns slightly to look at Jimin, “this place is really nice. It puts my apartment to shame. My place always looks like a tornado has gone through it, as well as being overgrown with houseplants that have basically taken over the place.”
“You like plants?” Jimin asks curiously, turning his body towards Jeongguk.
Jeongguk nods, “Yeah I love plants, I have way too many though. It started off as just one or two, but now it’s sort of become an addiction.”
Jimin’s eyebrows raise slightly like he’s just remembered something and he places his cup down on the table, getting up and disappearing down a hallway which Jeongguk can only assume leads to the bedrooms. He hears a door open and close, and a moment later Jimin appears again, walking back to the sofa holding a tiny succulent in his hands. He sits down and shows it to Jeongguk.
“I have plants too. Well, just this one… I keep killing all the plants I try and grow,” he says with a frown, “I think it’s because I’m not home much, and when I am I’m too tired to remember to water them. Jin-hyung suggested a succulent because they’re hardy and don’t need too much maintenance. I’ve been able to keep this one alive.”
Jeongguk reaches out to touch the small succulent, “it looks really happy and healthy. You’ve done a good job there.”
Jimin looks down at the little plant and smiles proudly. He places it down carefully on the coffee table in front of him and tucks his legs up, resting his chin on his knees as he looks at it curiously.
Jeongguk has to stop himself from cooing. He can’t help but think that Jimin looks really cute, and really tiny in this big apartment.
“Um, are you okay to entertain yourself for a bit while I go and clean myself up?” Jimin says, grabbing the remote for the ginormous tv and switching it on, finding Netflix before he hands the remote to Jeongguk, “you can watch whatever you want. I won’t be long.”
“Sure,” Jeongguk smiles, “take your time.”
Jimin nods, walking to the kitchen and putting his in the sink before disappearing down the hall to the bathroom. Jeongguk scrolls through Netflix for a bit, feeling his heart melt when he gets to Jimin’s ‘recently watched’ and finds it full of Studio Ghibli movies.
He sits back and glances around the apartment. If he could describe the space in one word it would be soft. The creamy white walls are accented with pastels and natural tones. The large squishy L shaped sofa has soft cushions and blankets thrown across it. Everything here is a complete contrast to the Jimin he had first met in Park Young-hee’s office, the Park Jimin he thought he had all figured out, the cold and unapproachable beauty dressed in head to toe black.
The Jimin he knows now is so different. The real Jimin under that cold facade is something special.
Jeongguk stands up and walks around the room, sipping his tea as he pauses in front of some shelves filled with picture frames. There’s a framed photo of Jimin being hugged by Hoseok, both of them only school children at the time, their faces rounder and eyes sparkling, hair still a natural black. The photo next to that is a selfie of Jimin with Seokjin, Taehyung and Hoseok, the three of them squished around Jimin as they all laugh in what looks like a spontaneous photo.
Jeongguk picks up the photo, smiling at Jimin who is laughing in the centre, his eyes turned up into little half moons. He has such a beautiful smile. Jeongguk wishes he could see Jimin like that, happy, and laughing, and carefree. Maybe one day he’ll be lucky enough.
There are a few more photos of their antics dotted around- a photo of Jimin and Hoseok on an airplane, Hoseok taking the photo and Jimin throwing up a peace sign in the back as he reclines in first class. A photo of Jimin’s holding a birthday cake in bed, smiling with his hair stuck up on one side in what looks like a surprise midnight birthday party, the others huddled around him with balloons. Jeongguk can’t help but chuckle out loud at each photo. It looks like Jimin’s friends love him a lot, and he obviously loves them just as much.
In the centre of the all the candid photos sits a contrasting picture. A professional photo taking in front of a deep blue back ground of Jimin as a small child, no older than six standing in the middle with his parents sitting either side of him. The three of them are dressed in their finest clothes, Jimin’s black hair slicked to the side, his mothers hand laying on his shoulder. Jeongguk looks at it for a while. He can see parts of Jimin’s father in him, but he can really see how he has mostly inherited his mothers features.
After what he’d witnessed today It surprises Jeongguk that the picture is sitting amongst all his other treasured memories. It seems like despite his rocky relationship with his parents, Jimin still places them among the people he loves. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much more when they show so little love back to him.
As Jeongguk turns around, his attention is drawn to a room which sits just off the main living area, at the start of the corridor. The door is slightly ajar, and when he peeks inside he can see that the room is basically empty besides some large mirrors propped up against each of the walls.
There’s a sound of a door opening, along with the soft patting of feet as Jimin walks down the corridor towards him. His bare, fresh face is as stunning as ever, his hair still a little damp from where he’d washed it. He’s changed into a slightly oversized grey t-shirt and some black pants, and the scent of orange blossom carries in the air.
“I wasn’t snooping!” Jeongguk blurts out, quickly stepping away from the room. Jimin eyes him with a look somewhere between amusement and fondness.
“You are a journalist,” he says with a smirk.
“Not right now,” Jeongguk says softly.
Jimin’s eyes widen, an emotion passing behind them that Jeongguk can’t really make out. He looks at Jeongguk and then at the room Jeongguk had been peeking into.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Jeongguk reassures him, holding his hands up, “sorry, I’m just really curious about you.”
“No, it’s fine,” Jimin shrugs, “it’s kind of lame, I guess,” he pushes the door open and steps aside, gesturing for Jeongguk to enter.
The room is quite large. Jeongguk assumes it was originally designed to be a bedroom, but Jimin has gutted it out so it’s just an open space with a polished wooden floor and a mosaic of different sized mirrors on every wall, a music system in one corner.
“It’s a dance studio,” Jeongguk says in awe, looking around the space.
“Yeah,” Jimin replies shyly, fidgeting with his fingers, “I, um- well, I like to dance.” He walks across the room, watching Jeongguk through the mirrors, “I attended performing arts school for my entire childhood. My mother obviously sent me there for acting, but they teach you many different arts, including music, and singing, and dance. I fell in love with dance at some point,” he shrugs, “though I can’t remember when exactly.”
Jeongguk walks quietly around the space, glancing at Jimin in the mirrors, staying silent as he listens to his story, “I liked all the classes, but dance became an escape for me. A way to just forget my problems, and clear my head. I think I spent every moment I could in the dance studio at my old school. It was like my safe space.”
Jeongguk turns and looks at Jimin in front of him, taking in the natural elegance in his stance, “now that you say that, you hold yourself like a dancer.”
Jimin seems surprised at the sudden observation, “yeah?” He smiles, looking down at his feet, the way he stands naturally with one foot placed slightly in front of the other at a subtle angle, like a dancer. He shifts, pulling his foot back so he’s standing like Jeongguk is, “I’ve never realised that. I think my dance teacher drilled it into me so much that I do it without thinking.”
“Did you ever tell your parents you loved dancing?” Jeongguk asks curiously.
Jimin’s smile fades, “I did. It was when I was fourteen, I told them at dinner. I was so scared. I said that I wanted to dance instead of act. I told them I loved dancing, and that it made me the most happy,” he looks at Jeongguk, a sad smile on his lips, “but I don’t think they heard me. Maybe I didn’t say it loud enough, or maybe they just ignored me. I don’t know.” Jimin shrugs and looks towards the wall of mirrors, eyes distant as he recalls his old memories. “All I remember is that I stayed in that chair even after the maids had cleared the table. I sat there for hours, staring at the patterns in the wood, and that’s when I finally realised that they would never hear me. I didn’t mention it again after that. When I eventually graduated, and moved into this apartment, Hobi-hyung helped me turn this room a the place where I could dance. It’s only a hobby now, but this is where I feel most comfortable, the most- myself.”
Jeongguk’s heart feels heavy listening to Jimin recall the painful memories. The thought of a young Jimin trying to tell his parents what he finds true passion in doing, only to be dismissed like it’s not even worth listening to. The fact that Jimin only has this one space to truly be himself in. Jeongguk had always assumed that Jimin’s parents supported him, but today has been a real eye opener.
As he stands, glancing around the room Jeongguk realises that Jimin has trusted him enough to show him this integral and personal part of himself. This secret place that is only his. He trusts him enough to let him inside his happy place. It makes his stomach flutter.
“Thank you for showing it to me,” he says genuinely, “now I’m curious to see you dance…”
“And you can stay curious,” Jimin says teasingly, walking towards the door.
“I don’t mean you have to dance right now,” Jeongguk says, following him out of the room, “I mean, you’ve been through a lot today. But, maybe one day?” he asks, a hopeful lilt to his voice.
“Maybe one day,” Jimin relents.
Jeongguk follows Jimin back into the living room, dropping down next to him on the sofa, “Your friends know about your dancing right?” Jeongguk asks.
“Yeah, they do. Hoseok likes to dance too, we always did it together as children, but now I mainly do it when I’m on my own at home. It helps clear my mind a little, when it all gets too much. I find it really calming.”
Jeongguk nods, running a finger across the cushion between them, “so, um, I assume your parents don’t know about you…”
“About me being gay? God no. That would definitely be the final thread snapping in our already frayed relationship,” Jimin sighs, eyes turning a little sad for a second before he blinks it away, “I might tell them some day, but who knows. How about you? Have you come out?”
Jeongguk nods, “yeah. My parents visited me after I moved to Seoul, and at that point I think I had come to terms with it all. So I told them. They were shocked at first, but they have been really good about it. I mean, they don’t really want to chat about it much, but when I do mention it they listen with acceptance. And it helps that my older brother already has a wife and children, so they already have their grandchildren.”
Jimin smiles, “I’m happy for you. It must be nice to live so openly like that. I can just imagine the fallout if I ever came out,” he sighs, looking down at his hands clasped in his lap, “like, I feel sort of guilty hiding it away like this, but when I even think about telling… well, telling the world, it makes me feel sick with dread,” he wraps his arms around himself, “I mean can you imagine the headlines? The press already hates me, it would just give them more ammunition.”
“Hey,” Jeongguk says softly, pulling his leg up as he turns to face Jimin, “you aren’t any less of a person for not telling people… what should come first is your mental health. That’s most important. If you feel happiest only telling a few of your closest friends, or even no one at all, that’s fine. Not being out doesn’t make you less gay. Everyone has the right to live how they are most comfortable.”
Jimin nods, looking at him with big eyes, “I-I told Taehyung and Jin-hyung…”
Jeongguk smiles, “that’s great. And if they are the only people you’ll ever tell, that’s fine too. It’s not a crime to be closeted.”
“Yeah,” Jimin says, relaxing back into the cushions, “thank you, Jeongguk-ssi.”
“Also, you told me.”
Jimin snorts, “I don’t think you walking in on me making out with a random guy counts as me telling you… but I don’t regret you knowing,” he says with a soft smile.
They stare at each other for a moment before Jeongguk breaks the silence, “Uh, so, um what shall we watch?” he asks, nodding towards the television.
“I don’t mind,” Jimin replies, pulling his legs up under himself, laying against the back rest, his blonde hair pushing up as he sinks into the cushions, “I just like having someone talking in the background, especially when it’s just me here. It makes the place feel less empty, you know?”
“Yeah, I get that,” Jeongguk scrolls through Netflix, clicking on My Neighbor Totoro which is in Jimin’s recently watched, so he knows he’ll be okay with it. Jimin hums in approval as the title screen comes up. “This is my comfort movie,” he says softly.
They both fall silent after that, and around a quarter of the way through the movie Jeongguk glances over to see that Jimin has fallen asleep. He can’t blame him, the day has probably drained his emotions to near empty.
He’s curled up against the cushions, his hands tucked up under his chin, lips parted in a little pout as he breathes steadily. Jeongguk leans over and grabs one of the blankets draped over the back of the sofa, covering Jimin with it, tucking it around him. Jimin stirs at the movement, blinking sleepily, “oh, sorry,” he mumbles, moving to sit upright.
“It’s okay, you can rest for a bit, I’m fine,” Jeongguk quickly says, relieved when Jimin gives a small nod and lets his head drop back down onto the cushion, his breathing instantly evening out. Jeongguk lifts the remote and turns down the sound a little, letting Jimin get the rest he needs. He sleeps for a good couple of hours, curled up next to Jeongguk while Netflix plays in the background.
—
The beeping of the door code being entered startles Jeongguk from his thoughts, making him realise he’s been watching Jimin sleep for god knows how long like some kind of stalker. The door clicks open and Hoseok walks in with what looks like a bag of treats from the convenience store. He kicks off his shoes, and turns to walk into the living room.
“Jiminie?” He calls out before stopping in his tracks when he sees Jeongguk on the sofa. “Jeongguk-ah? What are you-” he starts, but Jeongguk quickly holds a finger to his lips gesturing down at Jimin curled up asleep beside him. Hoseok’s eyes widen even more, before turning into something more gentle and understanding.
“Sorry, but I did not expect to see you in Jimin’s apartment of all places,” he whispers, placing the bag of food down and tiptoeing over to them. He crouches down in front of Jimin, resting his chin on his knees, looking at him with a concerned expression as he reaches out and gently moves a strand of hair from Jimin’s cheek. He looks up at Jeongguk, “Im really happy to see you here, it’s just that, well… Jimin never fails to surprise me.”
“He asked me to stay,” Jeongguk says in a hushed voice, “I don’t think he wanted to be alone. He fell asleep pretty quickly.”
Hoseok looks at Jimin, then up at him, smiling knowingly, “for him to invite you up here… thats a big deal Jeongguk-ah.”
“Really?” Jeongguk feels his heart beat faster.
Hoseok nods, “really… Jimin has always kept his circle small. And he doesn’t just let anyone into his space. I think only me, Seokjin and Taehyung have actually set foot in this apartment since he moved in when he was twenty.”
Jeongguk’s jaw drops, “not even his parents?”
“I can’t ever remember them coming here,” Hoseok shrugs, “and I’m here a lot. To be honest I don’t even know if they know the address.”
Jeongguk fails to hide his surprise. Even his parents have visited him in Seoul, and they live at the other end of the country. But now that he’s actually met Jimin’s mother, and he can only imagine that his father is similar to her, he really shouldn’t be so surprised.
“Does Jimin ever visit them?” he asks, still whispering so as not to wake Jimin.
“Only for official family business. He consciously avoids them. He always has bad experiences whenever he’s around them,” Hoseok strokes at Jimin’s cheek again, “my poor baby. I think they are a huge trigger for his anxiety. He pretends he doesn’t care, and keeps his distance, but I can see that he’s always worrying about what they think. He still wants their approval, you know?”
Jeongguk’s mind flashes back to the way Jimin’s mother had blown through the studio that morning, not even acknowledging Jimin. The lack of any real affection. The way Jimin’s eyes locked onto her. The way he crumbled under her apathetic gaze. “Well, at least he has you to rely on, hyung. Even one person can have a huge positive impact on someone’s life.”
“Yeah well, I wasn’t there when he needed me today. The one time they ask me to cover for someone else,” Hoseok shakes his head, angry at himself, “but thankfully you were there with him.”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk nods, the feeling of guilt tugging at him again. Seeing how Jimin had crumbled like that, and remembering how harsh he’d been on him since they’d met has made him feel like the worst person.
“Hyung,” he says timidly, “I feel so guilty… I was such a dick to him. I didn’t know… I would have been more patient if I’d known what he’s had to deal with…”
Hoseok gives him a reassuring smile, “I’m sure he knows that. To be honest, he knew he had been too harsh on you too, at least that’s what he said to me. I think that’s why he’s been making an effort with you recently. I haven’t seen him try and make friends in a long time… it’s quite entertaining for me,” he says with a cheeky grin.
Jimin stirs between them, pushing the blanket up as he lifts his head from where it has sunk into the cushions, hair sticking up slightly on one side. His eyes fall onto Hoseok in front of him, brows furrowing in confusion.
“Hyung?” he mumbles groggily, “…you’re here already? I thought you didn’t finish work until five?”
“I don’t Jiminie. It’s almost six,” Hoseok replies.
“What?” Jimin blinks, looking at Jeongguk in confusion, “how long have I been asleep?”
“A few hours. It’s okay though.”
“A few hours?! Shit, I’m sorry… you should have woken me up,” he says with a pout.
“Honestly it’s fine. I’ve been replying to some emails while watching Netflix,” Jeongguk says, lifting up his phone, “I’ve been pretty productive actually… I think it’s the ginseng tea.”
“Oh god, don’t say that to Taehyung. You’ll never get him to shut up about the health benefits,” Jimin chuckles as he pushes his hair away from his forehead, running his fingers through the blonde strands. It’s a simple gesture but Jeongguk feels his eyes lock onto the movement. This is his first time being so close to Jimin when he isn’t wearing makeup, and it’s making him feel flustered. Jimin really is the most gorgeous person Jeongguk’s ever met.
Hoseok practically leaps into Jimin’s arms, curling up next to him on the sofa, “Jiminie, I’m so sorry I left you to have to go through all that. I feel like such a shitty friend.”
Jimin laughs softly under Hoseok’s coddling, “I’m fine hyung, honestly. Please don’t feel guilty, it’s not like you can be with me every time. Besides, I wasn’t alone,” he glances at Jeongguk with a smile.
Hoseok settles down at that, curling into the other side of Jimin. He finally stops apologising after a few careful words of reassurance from Jimin. Jeongguk can’t help but hear Jimin’s hushed words to his best friend, the way he cuddles and strokes at his hair. He can see how much Jimin loves Hoseok. It’s a sobering sight considering Jeongguk had a few weeks ago called Jimin a grim reaper who had been out to harvest souls. He was so, so wrong.
“We’ll, I guess I should get going,” Jeongguk says, making to stand up.
“W-wait!” Jimin says, reaching out and grabbing hold of Jeongguk’s arm tightly. Jeongguk looks down at where Jimin is gripping his sleeve, and Jimin quickly lets go, seeming surprised by his own actions, “s-sorry,” he stutters, wringing his hands together, “it’s just…you should stay! I-If you want to I mean, Tae and Jin-hyung are coming over, and- you like them right? We can all hang out! You should stay…” he says again with more conviction, looking at Jeongguk earnestly. It makes Jeongguk’s stomach do a thing.
“Sure,” Jeongguk replies with a smile,” I’ll stay.” Jimin beams, his eyes turning into little half moons, and Jeongguk can’t ignore the way it makes his heart flutter.
The sky slowly becomes painted with soft pinks and purples as dusk arrives. Hoseok eventually untangles himself from Jimin and walks to the bag he had left on the side, bringing it to the kitchen. He flicks a switch on the wall, turning on the low hanging bulbs over the kitchen island, casting the whole space in a warm glow.
“So, are movies the entertainment choice of the evening then?” he says as he lays out the snacks on the counter top, “because I doubt Jin-hyung will agree with that, not with your surprise guest here.”
“That’s true,” Jimin hums, “I guess we can count on him to make the evening exciting.”
A few minutes later the door bell buzzes and Hoseok darts from the kitchen, running over to the intercom.
“Hello, who is it?”
“It’s us!” Taehyung’s familiar voice sounds through the speaker.
“Did you bring food?”
“Yes, of course! It’s not a night at Jimin’s without us gorging on takeout!”
“Then you may enter,” Hoseok says, buzzing them in.
When Seokjin and Taehyung walk through the door, they are equally as stunned to see Jeongguk as Hoseok was, standing with their mouths hanging open as they glance between Jeongguk and Jimin sitting together on the sofa. Jimin is awake this time unlike when Hoseok had come in, and he seems a lot more embarrassed, shifting awkwardly under their gaze.
Seokjin regains his composure first, “Jeongguk-ah, it’s so good to see you,” he says as he walks over, “surprising, but good. It’s nice to have someone new to crush at Halli Galli. I brought it by the way,” he holds up his bag with a grin.
“You always bring that game,” Taehyung rolls his eyes as he follows him into the room, and quickly runs over to Jimin, “are you okay Jiminie? Hoseok messaged us and said you’d probably be really down… but you actually look okay,” he glances at Jeongguk curiously before looking back at Jimin.
“I’m okay, Tae. Honestly.”
Taehyung narrows his eyes doubtfully, “anxiety on a scale of one to ten?”
“…two?”
“Two is good,” Taehyung nods with a satisfied smile, then looks at Jeongguk, his eyes turning sly and knowing, “I knew that Jimin was warming up to you, but I didn’t realise it was to this extent-”
“Tae!” Jimin warns.
“Okay,” Seokjin interrupts, clapping his hands, “let’s eat some food, then it’s game time.”
Jeongguk gives Jimin a questioning look, and Jimin leans slightly towards him, “Jin-hyung insists he’s some sort of games master, so most of the time when we hang out, we end up playing these games. His favourite is Halli Galli. I assume he’s brought it to cheer me up because watching Seokjin play Halli Galli is one of the funniest things.”
“Really? I’ve never played it,” Jeongguk says with a pout.
“Then you’re in for a treat,” Jimin grins, “just don’t take Jin-hyung’s competitiveness personally, he’s just very- passionate.”
—
Jimin wasn’t lying about Seokjin’s competitiveness. Jeongguk’s hand is throbbing incessantly from how hard the actor has slammed his hand on top of his when they both went for the bell at the same time.
All five of them are currently sitting on cushions around the coffee table, playing what must be the twentieth round of Halli Galli that evening. Jimin has put on some relaxing music in the background, and a continuous stream of different fast foods have been appearing at the door.
“So that makes it eleven games I’ve won now,” Seokjin rests back on his hands as Taehyung collects all the cards and starts to shuffle them for the next game. Jimin laughs gently as he raises his glass to his lips, legs tucked under the table. Jeongguk still can’t keep himself from stealing glances at his soft appearance, the way he smiles and laughs so brightly, the contrast from what he’s like on set so polarising it feels like it could give him whiplash.
Seokjin looks around at them as he drinks his own drink, eyes falling onto Jeongguk, “so will you admit defeat now?”
Jimin speaks up as Taehyung deals out the next game, “you know he’s won eight games, hyung. He’s not far behind you. Maybe you’ve met your match,” he teases.
Seokjin’s eyebrows raise and he looks from Jimin to Jeongguk, “Oh, is that fighting talk, Jeon Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk chokes, “I didn’t even say anything, I’m just sitting here!”
“You didn’t deny it, though. Did you?”
“Well, I mean it’s sort of true…” Jeongguk shrugs, pulling a knee up to rest his arm on.
“Oooh! Fight, fight, fight!” Hoseok claps.
“Game on, Jeongguk-ah,” Seokjin says, cracking his knuckles, “because it will be a cold day in hell before I loose at my favourite game.”
Jeongguk laughs, “okay, game on, but can I get some sort of padding for my hand because I swear you’re going to end up breaking it.”
“Hyung, please don’t injure my guest,” Jimin laughs beside Jeongguk, thoroughly entertained.
“Oh so you’re taking his side over mine?” Seokjin feigns hurt, “after everything we’ve been through together, Park Jimin? That’s it-” before Jeongguk can say anything, a slightly tipsy Seokjin has crawled around the table and is dragging Jimin by the ankle away from Jeongguk and over to his side of the table.
“Come here!” he grunts.
Jimin yelps and bursts out laughing, clawing at the carpet as he tries to fight against the pull, “I’m sorry hyung, forgive me!” he says between his laughter.
“Your betrayal will cost you,” Seokjin growls, tugging him harder. Jeongguk can’t help but laugh, reaching down and wrapping his hands around Jimin’s wrists in an attempt at helping him. Jimin accepts the assistance gladly, wrapping his own hands around Jeongguk’s. There’s a heat where their skin touches that Jeongguk tries and fails to ignore.
Seokjin wins the tug of war as Jimin slips across the soft carpet towards him, hands pulling free from Jeongguk’s hold.
He sits upright, laughing and trying to fight off Seokjin who wraps his arms around him attempting to either tickle or wrestle him, or perhaps both. Jeongguk laughs as he watches Hoseok and Taehyung join in just for the sake of it. Jimin looks so happy in the sandwich of the people he loves. Jeongguk can’t help the urge, pulling his phone out and subtly taking a picture of the pure moment.
The fact that these men are seen as arrogant actors to the public shocks him. What shocks him even more is that he once held the same prejudice against them.
“Please stop,“ Jimin gasps, “I give in, I give in!” He laughs as the others finally relent and release him from their hold.
“That’s right, know where your loyalties lie, Jimin-ah,” Seokjin says as he catches his breath, “don’t be swayed by that handsome man,” he points a finger at Jeongguk, narrowing his eyes, “and his masculine wiles.”
Jeongguk holds his hands up in defeat, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I’ve done is sit here, minding my own business…kicking your ass at Halli Galli eight times.”
Seokjin’s mouth falls open in shock and Jimin bursts out laughing again, toppling backwards against Hoseok.
“Right, that’s it,” Seokjin narrows his eyes at Jeongguk, “me and you. Right now. One on one.”
“Let’s do this,” Jeongguk says with a grin.
“Oooh how exciting,” Hoseok says from where he rest his chin on the top of Jimin’s head, “let’s place bets!”
“My money is on Jeongguk-ssi,” Jimin says, smiling cheekily at Seokjin.
Seokjin’s eyes turn into slits as he glares at Jimin, like he’s just been stabbed in the back, “haven’t you learned your lesson? This guy comes along and suddenly your loyalties change?”
Jimin giggles, falling sideways onto the floor, “something like that,” he says, looking at Jeongguk with a soft smile.
And so the most competitive one on one game of Halli Galli that has ever been witnessed begins. Jeongguk almost looses his hand four times as Seokjin goes into Super Saiyan mode, determined to defend his title as unbeaten champion. Jeongguk puts up a good fight, and it’s close- but in the end, Seokjin wins, slamming his hand onto the bell and laughing in triumph.
Jeongguk falls backwards dramatically as if he’s been shot, and the others who were watching their game erupt into hysterics. Hoseok pokes at Jimin, “you loose, Jimin-ah. Pay up!”
Jeongguk looks up at him from where he lays on his back on the soft carpet, pouting apologetically, “I’m sorry. I failed you.”
Jimin giggles as he looks down at him, head tilting to the side, “it’s okay, you almost had him. I still believe in you.”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk pouts.
“Yeah,” Jimin smiles fondly, “for a beginner with no previous experience, you are impressive. I’m sure with a bit more practice you’ll be our new champion.”
“Hey!” Seokjin cuts in, “I’m still right here if you didn’t notice,” he turns his attention onto Jeongguk, “you, pretty boy, don’t corrupt him!”
Jeongguk pushes himself up onto his elbows, “I wouldn’t dare,” he says with a smirk.
“I need something sweet,” Taehyung says as he stands up and walks to the kitchen to get something, pausing at the sink and looking into it, “wait- did you drink Ginseng tea?” he asks, turning to look at Jimin. Jimin nods, and a smile spreads across Tae’s face, “I’m so proud of you!”
“Jeongguk had some too,” Jimin says, pulling his legs against his chest, wrapping is arms around them, leaning his chin on his knees, “he said he likes it.”
“Really?” Taehyung looks to Jeongguk like he’s won the lottery, skipping over and plonking down next to him, “do you want to know all the health benefits it holds? You’d be surprised.”
Jimin wasn’t lying when he said that Taehyung is incredibly passionate about Ginseng tea. The actor seems thrilled to have someone to talk to about it, and all Jeongguk can do is look at Jimin with pleading eyes that say ‘help me’ as Jimin laughs in amusement behind them, miming ‘I told you so’ back at him.
By the end of the evening, Jeongguk feels like he’s laughed so much, he doesn’t need to work out his abs at his next four gym sessions. He’s seen a side of Jimin that he didn’t know was there, and he feels privileged to have been allowed to see it. He had once questioned why Hoseok, Seokjin and Taehyung are friends with Jimin. But now, after spending time with Jimin, and after watching them all together, he can see exactly why.
“I’ll walk you out…” Jimin says quietly, looking down as he toes at the edge of the rug. The evening has come to an end, and begrudging it’s time for Jeongguk to make his way home. Apparently Hoseok is spending the night like he does so often, while Seokjin and Taehyung are packing away some of their things in the kitchen, getting ready to leave themselves.
“Yeah, sure thing,” Jeongguk nods, hitching the strap of his bag up onto his shoulder “bye guys,” he waves to the others “It was a really fun night.”
“Jeongguk-ah, hold on,” Seokjin says, “we were just saying we’re getting together again this Saturday, if you want to come? It’s just going to basically be like this,” he gestures around the room.
Jeongguk mulls over it, quirking an eyebrow at Seokjin, “will there be Halli Galli?”
Seokjin smiles a cunning smile, “that will be a definite possibility.”
“Then, yes, I’d like that.”
“Awesome, I’ll message you about it.”
After his farewells, Jeongguk steps out of the apartment followed by Jimin, who slips on a pair of sliders and walks with him to the elevator.
“I really enjoyed tonight,” Jeongguk says as he presses the elevator button.
“You did?” Jimin smiles, “I’m glad. I did too.”
The doors to the elevator slide open with a quiet ding, and they both step into the empty space. Jimin presses a button on the wall and the doors close silently behind them. They stand in silence for a moment, Jimin shifting back and forth on his feet before he turns to look at Jeongguk.
“Thank you again, for today…for helping me this morning, and for staying with me and making me feel better, and - yeah,” he opens his mouth again to speak, but ends up falling silent, nibbling on his bottom lip before turning to face forwards again.
“You’re welcome,” Jeongguk smiles, finding it absolutely endearing the way Jimin’s shyness is slipping through at this moment, “I mean, the day could have started off a lot better for you, and didn’t really expect any of this to happen, but it’s been really great. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you. Unexpected, but fun.”
“Yeah,” Jimin nods, a subtle blush creeping up his neck and cheeks, “same here.”
The elevator comes to a stop at the parking lot level, “I can get back to my car from here, don’t worry,” Jeongguk says, seeing that Jimin is about to walk him all the way to is car.
Jimin pauses as he is about to exit the elevator, “are you sure?”
Jeongguk nods, “yeah, honestly it’s fine. You should go and relax, you went through a lot this morning… have a nice bubble bath or something.”
Jimin hums, “that’s not a bad idea. I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess? In my dressing room?”
“Yep. Bright and early, as usual. Goodnight Jimin-ssi,” Jeongguk says, turning to walk to his car.
“Hyung-“ Jimin calls out. Jeongguk turns back around, looking at him in confusion.
“Huh?”
“Hyung,” Jimin says again, clenching his hands to his chest, “uh, you can call me hyung… if you want…”
Jeongguk’s stomach feels like it’s doing back flips, but he manages to keep it together.
“Okay hyung,” he says, glad his voice has remained steady, “same to you- I mean, you can drop the honourifics too.”
Jimin beams at him, “okay,” he says, “goodnight Jeongguk-ah.”
“Goodnight hyung.”
Chapter Text
The next morning Jeongguk finds himself sitting alone in Jimin’s dressing room, having gotten to set before both Jimin and Hoseok. It’s happened before, and usually he’d wander around the studio until they got here, but with the recent positive shift in their relationship, he knows Jimin won’t mind him waiting in here.
He chuckles to himself, glancing around the room. If you’d told him four weeks ago he’d be sitting by himself in Park Jimin’s dressing room, excited for the other to arrive, he’d never have believed it. But here he is.
Jeongguk yawns, stretching his arms above his head with an exaggerated groan. He hadn’t slept much last night. There’d been a lot to take in and unpick from the day before and he’d spent most of the night laying awake, playing it all back.
Yesterday had been… intense. Witnessing Jimin break down like that had been unexpected, and distressing. It had made Jeongguk realise that Jimin is not some shiny emotionless robot like people seem to think celebrities are. He’s a real person, with real feelings and struggles, just like everybody else.
But Jeongguk had also got to see another side of Jimin yesterday, a happy, smiling, playful side that he didn’t know existed. The Jimin he’d seen laughing and joking with his friends was so far from the image of Park Jimin he’d had when he’d first started this. He’d learned more about Jimin yesterday than he has the entire rest of the month he’s been shadowing him. For the first time he feels like he actually knows Jimin a little… like he’s finally able to put some of the puzzle pieces together.
Jeongguk smiles to himself, taking out his phone to reply to a few emails before opening Naver to check the headlines for the day. The moment he opens the app he freezes, nearly dropping his phone as his eyes lock onto the number one trending article:
‘Park Family Drama - Actor Park Jimin storms off set of We Met In Spring after altercation with mother Park Sunhi’
Jeongguk sucks in a breath. No way. There’s no fucking way they’ve actually written about it.
He clicks on the article, nearly throwing his phone across the room when he sees that not only has someone on set told the press a bunch of lies, but they’ve also taken a video. The low quality video, obviously taken on a mobile phone, shows Jimin running off set, pushing past a few staff members as he goes, the caption saying something about his ‘violent temper’.
Jeongguk sinks back into his chair, staring down at his phone. He doesn’t know if he wants to throttle someone or cry. He knows the state Jimin was in at that moment. He hadn’t pushed anyone out of anger or rudeness, he was on the verge of a panic attack and just wanted to get away into the safety of his dressing room.
The press have taken a vulnerable moment and spun it into a scandal. It’s so fucking unfair. Is this how Jimin starts every day? How does he live like this? No wonder he was so hostile towards him in the beginning. Jeongguk is starting to hate the press too.
Just then the door handle turns and Jeongguk quickly pulls himself together, plastering on a smile as Jimin and Hoseok walk in.
“Oh, good morning Jeonggukie,” Hoseok chirps when he spots him.
“Good morning Hobi-hyung,” Jeongguk replies, hesitating for a moment, “…good morning Jimin-hyung…”
Hoseok’s eyes widen and he turns to look at Jimin with a raised eyebrow. “Jimin-hyung?” he questions with a teasing smirk. Jimin blushes slightly and ducks his head, elbowing Hoseok before walking towards Jeongguk.
“Good morning Jeongguk-ah,” he says with a shy smile, handing him an iced coffee he’d been holding.
“Thank you,” Jeongguk returns the smile, taking the coffee from him. Jimin looks stunning as usual, his bare skin glowing, blonde hair hanging softly over his eyes. They stare at each other for a moment before Jimin glances down at the phone in Jeongguk’s hand, still open on the Naver article. Jeongguk panics and quickly presses the phone to his chest, attempting to hide the article, but Jimin just smiles a sad, sympathetic sort of smile.
“It’s okay Jeongguk-ah… I’ve already seen it.”
Jeongguk slowly lowers his phone, glancing down at the headline again before looking back up at Jimin.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly, “I just- I don’t know what to say. I feel like it’s sort of my fault. I mean, I’m the one who told you to go home…”
Jimin frowns, shaking his head. “I don’t regret going home Jeongguk-ah. You were right, my health is more important. It’s about time I put myself first for once. They can write whatever shit they want, I don’t care.” He shrugs, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers, “anyway, I had a really good time yesterday. It was fun. I’m glad I left,” he looks back up and smiles softly, and Jeongguk feels himself smiling too.
“I had a good time too hyung-”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Hoseok calls out from across the room, startling both Jeongguk and Jimin who seemed to have forgotten he was there, “but I do need to start Jimin’s make up at some point…”
Jimin blushes and offers Jeongguk one last smile before shuffling over to a smirking Hoseok, plopping down in the chair in front of the mirror. Hoseok whispers something to him and laughs as Jimin nudges him playfully.
Jeongguk leans back in his chair, bringing the straw of the iced coffee to his lips to take a sip. He would usually make himself busy at this point, but today he finds himself unable to look away as Hoseok starts to apply Jimin’s makeup. He takes in the hard lines of Jimin’s jaw, the slope of his nose, the way his lips part as Hoseok applies a little gloss to them. He really is the most breathtaking person Jeongguk has ever seen.
After Jimin’s makeup is finished Jeongguk leaves the dressing room to let him get changed, making himself comfortable in his usual chair at the back of the studio. Jimin appears a few minutes later, walking onto set with Hoseok in tow. Jeongguk can hear murmurs from the crew as Jimin takes his position in front of the camera, and oh how he wishes he knew which one of them had taken that video yesterday so he could give them a piece of his mind.
He looks over at Jimin who is ever the picture of professionalism, his head held high as he waits to start filming. If he’s noticed the whispers and looks from the crew he doesn’t show it.
Jimin’s eyes meet his and they soften. He gives Jeongguk a small smile and a nod, as if reassuring him that he’s okay.
Jeongguk can’t help but feel incredibly proud of the way Jimin holds himself despite everything that’s happened, and as the director calls ‘action’ he’s even more determined to make his article about Jimin the best damn thing he’s ever written.
———
It’s lunch time and Jeongguk drops his tray of food down on the canteen table, almost knocking over Taehyung’s cup as he slumps into the chair beside Seokjin with a groan.
“Woah there,” Seokjin says, reflexes fast as he reaches out and steadies the drink.
“Sorry hyung,” Jeongguk sighs, sliding his tray a little further onto the table and tucking in his chair. Seokjin and Taehyung throw each other a look. “You okay, Jeongguk-ah?“
“Huh? Oh. I’m fine.” Jeongguk pulls his phone out of his pocket and clicks on the Naver app again. “My head is just a bit all over the place this morning.”
Throughout the entire morning’s filming Jeongguk’s thoughts have been stuck on the articles about Jimin. He feels like a hypocrite for telling Jimin not to obsess over them, because that’s exactly what he’s been doing. He’d made the mistake of reading through a few of the ones that had been trending on Naver, and the false information that permeated them has gotten right under his skin.
All of the articles are complete lies. Not one bit of the information in them is properly sourced or correct, but it seems like the public really don’t care. No one questions it. Only a few of Jimin’s fans have come to his defence in the comment sections. The rest of the netizens had come for Jimin’s neck as usual, holding nothing back.
He locks his phone with a grimace, and drops it face down on the table.
“Um…are you sure you’re okay?” Taehyung asks cautiously, eyes glancing from Jeongguk’s face to his phone and back.
Jeongguk nods and picks up his chopsticks, prodding at his food with them. Jimin had said he doesn’t care what people write about him, that the hate doesn’t bother him, but Jeongguk can see it. From the droop of his shoulders when he walked off set, to his tired expression. It weighs on him, and Jeongguk feels helpless, like he’s watching someone being bullied but is powerless to do anything about it.
Drama is drama, people love it when it doesn’t concern them, and drama seems to follow Jimin around like a shadow that grabs at his ankles whenever he tries to take a step forward.
Jeongguk sighs, looking up at Taehyung who is sitting opposite him, “can I ask you something?”
Taehyung nods, “sure.”
“Why are people such dicks?”
Taehyung’s eyes widen at the question, before he chuckles, “now that’s a good question,” he says, resting his chin on his palm, “why is a tree a tree? Humans are just dicks sometimes, I guess.”
“Very poetic Tae,” Seokjin says.
“Why can’t people just mind their own business and let others live their lives?” Jeongguk asks bitterly, picking at his food.
“Is this about Jimin?” Seokjin asks from beside him.
Jeongguk sighs, shoulders feeling heavy, jaw set firm in irritation, “I told Jimin to leave yesterday. It’s my fault that this has all blown up.”
“I saw the articles,” Taehyung nods, “to be honest, it’s not the first time the press has written about his relationship with his family. For the most part Jimin just pushes past articles like this.”
“Try not to let it get to you,” Seokjin says, putting his hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder and squeezing reassuringly, “you’ve only seen what Jimin has dealt with for the past month, but don’t forget, he has been going through this this for years. I’m not saying that makes it ok, or to ignore it, but just remember that Jimin has grown a pretty thick skin to stuff like this. He’s a softie, but not when it comes to the press.”
Taehyung nods, “it’s like that saying, ‘water off a ducks back’.”
Jeongguk huffs, “It would be better if their wasn’t any damn water in the first place.” He looks between Taehyung and Seokjin. “You guys don’t get hate like this, do you?”
“Sometimes we do,” Taehyung shrugs, “not to the level that Jimin does, but I guess that’s the price of being at the top. People want to see you fall. They want to drag you down.”
Jeongguk worries his bottom lip between his teeth. “Is it even worth it? Being actors?”
“I’ve always loved acting,” Seokjin says. “Back when I was a child, I loved being in the plays at school, being in front of a crowd, and I still do. I get a thrill when I’m in front of a camera or crowd.”
Taehyung nods, “it’s like an addiction sometimes. When I can bring a character to life and make people feel things when they watch me, I feel like I’ve accomplished something.”
Jeongguk nods, “what about Jimin, thought? I mean, he never actually wanted to do this, did he? So why should he have to put up with all the hate?”
Seokjin and Taehyung exchange looks. “Maybe that’s something for you to discuss with Jimin…” Seokjin suggests.
“Speak of the devil,” Taehyung hums, looking over Jeongguk’s shoulder.
Jeongguk turns to see Jimin walking towards their table with Hoseok in tow, both of them with trays of food in their hands. Jeongguk sees a number of the staff turn and start whispering as Jimin walks past and he feels his chest tighten. He just wants to get up and grab Jimin, to pull him behind himself and cover his ears from all the harsh words. He wants to protect that soft smile which slips through sometimes. He wants to take Jimin away from it all.
Jimin slides into the seat next to him, placing his tray down as Hoseok takes the seat next to Taehyung, the pair already laughing.
Jeongguk can’t help but notice the difference in portion size between his and Jimin’s tray, and the word ‘diet’ bounces around his skull as Jimin sips at his water.
“Hey,” Jeongguk says, “are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Jimin replies with a soft smile. He studies Jeongguk for a moment, and then glances down at the phone turned face down on the table, eyebrows drawing together a little like he’s read Jeongguk’s mind. “I’m fine,” he says again looking back up at Jeongguk, “seriously, don’t worry about it.”
Jeongguk nods as Jimin starts eating his salad.
“Guys,” Seokjin says, drawing everyone’s attention, “I was thinking, how about on Saturday instead of just hanging out at my place we go to Noraebang?”
Taehyung and Hoseok light up across the table.
“Oh hell yeah,” Taehyung beams.
“Count me in,” Hoseok says, “I haven’t seen Taehyung-ah doing trot for a while, I need a good laugh.”
“Don’t forget Jin-hyung’s high notes,” Taehyung laughs, “I’m pretty sure he broke a microphone once.”
Seokjin attempts to flick Taehyung’s forehead but the younger dodges him. “So these two are obviously in. Jimin-ah? Jeongguk-ah?”
“Is it the same place we went to before?” Jimin asks, “the quiet place?”
“Yeah,” Seokjin nods, “don’t worry I took you into account when I thought of it. It’s a chance for us to get out, but still have privacy, you know? So, are you in?” He looks back and forth between Jimin and Jeongguk.
“Sure, I’m always up for noraebang,” Jeongguk nods with a smile. It’s been a while since he’s been out singing with friends, and it always makes for a memorable night. “The real question is, will you be bringing Halli Galli?”
Taehyung laughs at that, and Seokjin raises an eyebrow as if he’s being challenged, “are you ready to be humiliated again this soon? You’ve got guts, kid.”
“I’m ready to claim your title, if that’s what you mean,” Jeongguk corrects, leaning back in his chair.
“Oh, it’s on pretty boy.”
“I’ll come too,” Jimin says from beside Jeongguk, his face gentle as he watches the pair banter in front of him, “it sounds like fun.”
Hoseok grins proudly at Jimin from across the table, “that’s my boy,” he winks, taking a mouthful of food.
“Perfect, okay so Saturday evening it is. Same place as before,” Seokjin nods looking around the table, “Jeongguk-ah, I’ll message you the address. We can order food and drinks to the room too, so don’t worry about dinner.”
“Sounds great,” Jeongguk says, smiling softly as he meets Jimin’s eyes, “I’ll be there.”
———
“So, how is the article coming along?” Yoongi asks, typing something on his computer before turning to Jeongguk.
It’s Saturday and they’re sitting in Yoongi’s office, Jeongguk having been called in for the day to sort out a few things for the article. A few weeks ago he would have jumped at the chance for a day away from set, but now he finds himself missing his usual routine… missing a certain someone.
Jeongguk leans back in his chair, the leather creaking under the shift of his weight. He smiles at Yoongi innocently, “um, it’s… coming?”
Yoongi crosses his arms. “I know that face… have you even started it?”
Jeongguk tries to laugh it off, but is met with Yoongi’s blank stare. He clears his throat, sitting up straighter in his chair.
“Sorry hyung. I am doing it, it’s just… I guess I’ve got a little writers block? It’s all been a little bit crazy.”
“Crazy how?” Yoongi leans back in his chair, “has it exploded into a fist fight yet?”
“The opposite actually,” Jeongguk mumbles, fiddling with his fingers.
“What was that?”
“We’re, um, actually on good terms now,” Jeongguk says, and Yoongi raises an eyebrow.
“Really? You and Park Jimin? On good terms? What did I miss? The last time we went out you said he was the devil incarnate.”
“Yeh, well, I was wrong.”
Yoongi continues to stare at him in confusion, and Jeongguk sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look hyung, there’s things you don’t know about him. Things no one knows about him. The public have this image they put onto him, this bad boy ladies man persona, but honestly, he’s nothing like that. He has a few things he’s working through, but he’s actually- well, really nice.”
“Wow” Yoongi says, leaning his arms on his desk, “don’t get me wrong I’m glad you’ve made up, I’m just surprised. You couldn’t stop slating the guy when you first met him.”
“Well, I can admit when I’m wrong,” Jeongguk shrugs. “We had a rocky start, but we’ve both cleared the air.”
Yoongi rests his chin on his palm, tapping at his lower lip with his finger tips. “Well, what’s the issue with the article then? I mean the whole point of this was to write a good article about him. So there should be no problem with it now.”
“I know, I just,” Jeongguk stands up, starting to pace around the office, “I started writing because I like having a voice, you know? I like making a difference, and I want this article to- I don’t know, disperse some of these stupid rumours about him being this awful guy who is an angry violent sex addicted ladies man or whatever.”
“So you know for sure that he isn’t?”
“Hyung, trust me, he’s the literal opposite of a ladies man…”
Yoongi nods, “Well write about that then. You could always use his childhood as a sort of sob story or something.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, “I promised him I wouldn’t write about that stuff.” He sinks his teeth into his lower lip as he thinks. “I want this article to be different. It’s important. It has to be right. I just don’t know exactly what I want to write yet. Like I said, writers block.”
“Well, you’ve only got four weeks until deadline, so you’d better get unblocked real soon or you’ll have a lot of people on your ass. And not in the fun way.”
Yoongi turns back to the computer, tapping at his keyboard as Jeongguk flops back into his chair. “Anyway, back to business. I need you to approve the photo we’ll be using of Park Jimin for the cover of next months issue.” He turns his screen to show Jeongguk, “it’s from the shoot he did here a few weeks ago.”
The cover photo is a headshot of Jimin. His head is tilted slightly to the side, blonde hair styled back off his face, smoky makeup thick around his eyes, a dark dramatic backdrop behind him. Jeongguk purses his lips, tilting his head.
“It doesn’t really look like him…”
Yoongi looks at the photo, then at Jeongguk with a puzzled expression, “what’s that supposed to mean?”
Jeongguk brings his hand to his mouth, biting on the corner of his thumbnail as he ponders, “it’s- if you knew him, you’d understand… there’s just something not right about it.”
Obviously it’s Jimin. It’s the Park Jimin Jeongguk has seen thousands of times on billboards, adverts, shop windows, in magazines. But it isn’t Jimin.
“Well, it’s the only shoot we’ve done for your article so I’m sorry, but there really isn’t much choice,” Yoongi swings the screen back towards himself and taps at the keyboard, “… maybe a full body shot would be better?”
“No, it’s not the angle, it’s- I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like him,” Jeongguk sighs, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, “I know that’s the Jimin everyone else sees, but it’s not my Jimin, you know?”
Yoongi looks at him, raising an eyebrow, “your Jimin?”
Jeongguk splutters, his eyes wide as he tries to back track, “n-no, not my Jimin, obviously, I mean the Jimin I know…” Yoongi says nothing. “B-because I’ve been shadowing him…” Yoongi still stares at him. “So I know him better than other people?” Oh he’s just digging himself a hole at this point
“You’re acting like he’s your muse or something,” Yoongi snorts, and Jeongguk feels his cheeks flush. “You can take a look through the whole shoot if you like, see if you can find another photo that matches your vision. But besides that, Park Jimin’s schedule is fully booked so we don’t have time to do another photoshoot before this goes to publishing.”
Jeongguk sits for a while, looking through all the shots from the photoshoot, eyes flickering across the rows of photos until they become something like stop motion in his brain. He admires Jimin’s subtle yet strong movements, his changes in angle, his fierce eyes staring straight down the lens.
He finally stops his obsessive scrolling on a full body photo of Jimin. It isn’t perfect. It’s still the Jimin that’s been created by a boardroom of money grabbers in suits, but there is something in the way he is holding himself… as if he’s dancing. In that one frame, Jeongguk can see the dancer in Jimin slipping through.
“This one I guess,” Jeongguk points to it, and Yoongi bookmarks the photo, “sorry, hyung. It just needs to be perfect, you know?”
“I know. I’ve seen how you get with your writing. Although I haven’t seen you this invested before.”
“Well, like I said… this is important.”
Yoongi nods, “well, get to it then,” he says, waving Jeongguk away. Jeongguk stands and straightens his chair before something catches his eye.
“Hyung…”
“Yes?” Yoongi looks up from his computer.
“Is that a hickey on your neck?”
Yoongi quickly throws a hand up to cover the side of his neck, “what? No.”
“It definitely is,” Jeongguk says, quirking an eyebrow, “are things finally progressing with Namjoon-hyung then?”
Yoongi blushes, which is a feat for him. It’s rare to ever see the editor-in-chief flustered, his poker face normally on point.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Just then there’s a knock on the door, and Namjoon pokes his head around the door frame. “I bought some coffee,” he says, smiling cluelessly. Jeongguk turns to Yoongi and winks, and that’s when Yoongi finally breaks.
“That’s it,” he barks, “get out of my office, both of you.” His ears have turned a beautiful and impressive shade of beetroot red.
“B-but… coffee?” Namjoon asks, trying not to spill the brew he’s holding as he’s man-handled out of the door along with Jeongguk.
“I don’t need it,” Yoongi snaps, closing the door harshly behind both of them, and Namjoon looks completely at a loss as he turns to Jeongguk in confusion.
“What was that all about?”
“Sorry, hyung,” Jeongguk chuckles, internally elated at the fact that Namjoon has finally succeeded in getting somewhere with Yoongi. “That was partly my fault. Well, that’s a lie. It was completely my fault. Looks like Yoongi-hyung gets flustered easily when it comes to you.”
His eyes flicker down to the coffee in Namjoon’s hand and he points, “is that an americano?” Namjoon blinks a few times, face blank. He nods and gives Jeongguk the americano, who takes it gladly.
Jeongguk starts walking back to his desk, sipping his newly acquired coffee when he hears Namjoon call after him.
“Wait, he gets flustered over me!?”
———
It’s Saturday night and Jeongguk has made it to the address Seokjin had sent him, arriving outside an unassuming doorway between a parade of restaurants in the back streets of Gangnam.
Seokjin wasn’t lying when he’d said the Noraebang place was inconspicuous. Jeongguk has already walked past it once, before doubling back on himself to find a simple LED sign and an arrow leading up some stairs.
It’s located not far from Garasu-gil, only a ten minute walk at most. The area is popular for restaurants and niche cafes, but not really for clubs or nightlife unlike central Gangnam with its bright lights and bustling streets. Jeongguk can understand why they chose this place. It’s off the grid and somewhat hidden from the public eye which must help put Jimin at ease. It fills Jeongguk with warmth knowing that Jimin’s close friend group keep his anxiety in mind when planning a night out with him.
It’s already late, the sky a dark obsidian and the lights of the restaurants and eateries are at their full brightness, lighting up the road in a rainbow of colours as customers slip in and out of the entrances for food after a long day of work.
Jeongguk runs his hand through his hair. He has left it down for a change, falling around his cheekbones, slightly wavy and parted in the middle. He’s made more of an effort than he usually would for a simple night of Noraebang.
He’d decided to go for a Park Jimin inspired look with tight black jeans and a silky pale blue shirt tucked into the waist, finished off with black boots. He had tried on a few different outfits, pacing back and forth in front of the mirror, before settling on this one. He hopes Jimin will notice the effort he’s made.
“Jeongguk-ah!” Taehyung’s voice comes from behind him, causing Jeongguk to pause in the doorway, phone in hand ready to send a message to ask if they were here yet. He turns to see Seokjin and Taehyung walking towards him, just out of a taxi.
“What great timing,” Taehyung smiles.
“Yeah it is, I was about to message you guys,” Jeongguk holds up his phone.
Seokjin throws an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulder, holding up a bag in his hand. “Guess what I brought?”
Jeongguk looks at the bag with a grin, “is it Halli Galli by any chance?”
“Damn right it is,” Seokjin chuckles then steps back to take Jeongguk in, scanning him from head to toe. “I’ve never seen you all dressed up like this, you look good. He gestures at Jeongguk’s hair, “I like your hair down, you should wear it like that more often.”
“Ah really? Thanks hyung,” Jeongguk ruffles the hair at the back of his neck as Taehyung steps up the other side of him and gestures towards the door.
They make their way up the stairs, following the neon arrows and musical notes that line the stairwell up to the second floor. The place is relatively simple but lively, the sound of laughter and music sounding out from the different rooms as people sing along to their favourite songs. A waitress enters a nearby room with a trolley of food and drink, the music inside becoming considerably louder as she opens the door, pulling the trolley in with her.
Taehyung’s phone bleeps. “Jimin just messaged, they’re a few minutes away.”
Seokjin leans on the counter, speaking to the man behind it who taps at his screen and then leads them to a room at the very end of the corridor.
“This room is booked for three hours,” he says in a polite manner. If he recognises Taehyung or Seokjin he doesn’t show it. “If you need longer, just let us know through the communicator,” he points at a touchscreen monitor to the side of the door. “Food and drinks can also be ordered through here, and a member of staff will deliver it to your room.”
“Thank you,” Seokjin replies politely, sitting down on one of the soft leather sofas that wrap around half of the room in a U shape. The man bows and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.
Jeongguk glances around. The room is pretty big, lit up with colourful disco lights which dance across the walls. There’s a table in the centre with a touch screen tablet for choosing songs, a large screen on the wall and a few microphones. There’s also some tambourines and maracas in case you really want to put on a performance.
Taehyung goes straight for the tablet, searching through the song list with hungry eyes. “God, I love noraebang,” he practically moans, glancing up at Jeongguk and winking, “prepare yourself Jeongguk-ah.”
Jeongguk chuckles, watching the large screen on the wall as advertisements flash up for different foods and drinks, a countdown in the top corner set for three hours. Taehyung wastes no time in choosing a song, and the screen changes to the lyrics of an old ballad from the 90’s.
“Couldn’t you have waited five minutes?” Seokjin groans, but Taehyung is already in character at this point, a solemn look on his face as he starts to sing a song about broken trust and a broken heart. Jeongguk laughs and shakes his head, sitting down on the opposite side of the table.
Just as he settles against the leather sofa, the door clicks open and Hoseok’s unmistakable bright blonde hair appears around the doorframe, eyes instantly filled with joy when he sees Taehyung singing.
Jimin enters the room behind Hoseok, and Jeongguk’s stomach does a little flip at the sight of him. He’s wearing a thin white Chanel sweater that shows off his collarbones, with black jeans and boots. His face is covered with a black face mask, and he has on a black beanie pulled low so only his eyes show. It makes him almost indistinguishable, which Jeongguk can only guess is what he was going for.
Jimin’s eyes meet Jeongguk’s across the room and they turn into little half moons as he smiles.
“Jimineeee,” Taehyung sings, reaching out towards Jimin dramatically. Jimin laughs behind his mask as he’s dragged into the room by Taehyung. Jeongguk can’t help but laugh too, watching Jimin shy away from the mic with a giggle as Taehyung holds it up in front of his mask. Only when the song finally ends does Taehyung allow him to escape, twirling him out of his grasp.
The momentum causes Jimin to stumble in Jeongguk’s direction, dropping down clumsily on the sofa next to him and almost ending up in his lap.
“Oh, s-sorry,” Jimin stutters, quickly shying away. He moves as if to stand up, but then seems to decide against it, instead making himself comfortable next to Jeongguk, although there is now a gap between them that feels a little too large for some reason.
Jimin pulls off his hat and runs a hand through his blonde waves, taming the strands. “I didn’t expect to be serenaded the second I entered the room,” he explains, sliding his mask down so it hooks under his chin, “It usually takes a few songs for Tae to get that hyped up.”
“He sure is passionate,” Jeongguk grins, “I wish I had that much energy after a long day’s work. I’m very impressed.”
Taehyung places his microphone back on the table and walks over to where Hoseok is ordering food, throwing an arm around his shoulder as he looks at the screen.
“What food do you guys want? Also, drinks?” Hoseok calls over his shoulder as Taehyung is already tapping away.
“Get that chicken selection that we got before,” Seokjin suggests, “it was amazing. Oh, and a beer for me.”
“Me too,” Jeongguk says.
“Me three,” Jimin adds, removing his mask and tucking it into the pocket of his jeans. “Um,” he shifts a little in his seat before finally turning towards Jeongguk, “so, did you get here okay?” he asks. His voice squeaks a little at the end, causing him to frown at himself.
Jeongguk just smiles, “I did. I drove and parked down the road, then walked the rest of the way. I like this area a lot, it has nice vibes.” He turns more towards Jimin, “how about you?”
“My driver dropped us off,” Jimin shrugs, “so I didn’t really see much of the area. It seems nice though… lots of restaurants.”
Jeongguk hums in acknowledgment, “the food around here is so good. I walked past at least eight restaurants I want to eat at.”
“Oh really?” Jimin seems to think for a moment and then speaks again, “you know, I’ve always wanted to go to one of those all night bbq places, the ones where you sit outside in the street on those plastic chairs. We passed one on our drive here and it looked so fun, just drinking and chatting all night while eating till you burst.”
Jeongguk hums in agreement, “god that sounds amazing. We should do that.”
Jimin’s eyes widen, “Huh? oh…um, I don’t think I can really. I wish I could,” he sighs, brows knitting together but then he quickly shakes it off, “actually I have a grill at my apartment… maybe we could all have bbq at mine some time?”
Jeongguk notices how Jimin pulls them back into his comfort zone, but he doesn’t question it. Jimin must have lots of things that he would love to do, but when it comes to actually doing them, that’s another story.
“Sounds like a great idea,” he says reassuringly and Jimin smiles, his eyes turning into little half moons. They stare at each other for a moment before Jeongguk clears his throat.
“So, uh, how was your day?”
“Oh, it was fine,” Jimin shrugs, “I mean, as good as it can be. We finished filming all the scenes for episode ten, which is good. How was yours?” He turns a little more towards Jeongguk, shifting to fold one leg up onto the sofa between them. “Was it nice being back in the office? I bet you were glad to get away from us for a day,” he jokes.
Jeongguk chuckles but shakes his head, “you know what, I actually missed being with you guys.”
Missed you, he thinks.
Jimin’s eyes light up, “really?”
Jeongguk nods, “I’ve gotten used to being there every day. Felt weird getting up and going to the office instead. I had major FOMO.”
Jimin laughs, leaning his head against the sofa, “don’t worry, you didn’t miss much.” He drops his gaze to his lap, fidgeting with his fingers. “It was weird looking up and not seeing you in your usual spot though. I’ve gotten kind of used to having you around.” He lifts his gaze, a soft smile gracing his lips, and Jeongguk feels like all the air has been knocked out of him.
He’s not sure how long they stare at each other, but a mic is suddenly thrust into his face by a grinning Taehyung. “It’s your turn Jeongguk-ah,” he says, pushing the mic into his hand, “this isn’t a one man show.” He looks over at Jimin, raising an eyebrow, “the rest of us are here too you know,” he teases.
A blush creeps up Jimin’s face and he quickly stands up and rushes over to the screen next to the door, making himself busy looking at the food and drink menu.
Jeongguk takes the mic and scans through the song list on the tablet that Seokjin hands to him. He chooses a song he really likes, ‘Who’ by Lauv.
Jeongguk has always enjoyed singing as a hobby, whether at Noraebang, or in the comfort of his apartment, or when he’s out on his brothers fishing boat when he visits his family. This song is one he particularly likes to sing.
He taps on the song and the large screen on the wall changes as the words flicker up and the music starts.
“Up! Up!” Taehyung chants, gesturing for Jeongguk to stand up. Jeongguk relents and pushes off the sofa, walking to the center of the room, clearing his throat a few times. When the music starts, he begins to sing. The others all fall silent, probably astounded that he is actually rather good.
The song is slow, almost sensual and Jeongguk draws out the words, running his hand through his hair as a joke, acting as sexy as he can as he winks and points at Taehyung who starts to whoop and cheer.
Jimin is still standing by the door, but is fully turned around now, watching Jeongguk intently as he sings. Jeongguk pointedly sings ‘boy’ instead of ‘girl’ in the chorus, and that’s the moment he gets the courage to look at Jimin.
Jimin is looking at him with an unreadable expression, almost like he’s in a trance. There’s an intensity in his gaze, something more burning behind his eyes, and Jeongguk has to turn his attention to Hoseok before he ends up choking on his own tongue.
When he comes to the end of the song the others break into applause, and he bows jokingly. “Damn Jeongguk-ah, you’re in the wrong profession,” Seokjin says as Jeongguk walks back towards the sofa, “you should be an idol with a voice like that.”
Jeongguk blushes, “ah, thanks hyung. I don’t think I’d make a good idol though… I don't like being told what to do.”
Everyone laughs, and then there’s a knock at the door. A lady pushes into the room with a trolley of food and beer, placing it onto the large table before pushing the empty trolly back out of the room, not sparing them a second glance. Jeongguk can see why Jimin likes this place.
“Oh man, this looks so good,” Hoseok says, rubbing his hands together and positioning himself right next to the large boxes of chicken. Jeongguk sits back down in his seat and Jimin walks over and sits beside him yet again.
Seokjin hands everyone a beer and raises his own, “geonbae!”
“Geonbae!” They all echo, clinking their beers together, before tucking into the food.
“You- um,” Jimin takes a swig of his beer, “you have a really beautiful voice,” he says, ears tinged slightly red.
“Oh, thank you,” Jeongguk says, feeling his own ears start to burn. “Will you sing something?”
Jimin nods, “yeah, I will. I like singing. But first,” he points at the chicken, “food.”
Jeongguk chuckles and nods in agreement, reaching forward and dragging the box of chicken towards them, “I couldn’t agree more.”
After stuffing themselves with chicken and beer, and ordering extra radish cubes after running out, Jimin takes the mic and sings a gentle acoustic song. His voice is soft and beautiful, just like him, and Jeongguk is mesmerised. Once the song is over Jimin lets out a breath of relief and passes the mic to Seokjin.
The others all cheer for him extra loud. “Good job Jiminie!” Seokjin says into the mic, “next thing on your resumé: singer as well as actor and dancer!”
Jimin rolls his eyes, but he smiles bashfully at the complements.
“Wow, you really are talented, huh?” Jeongguk says to him in amazement when he sits back down, “no wonder you’re the nations it-boy.”
Jimin shakes his head, “stop. I’m average at best when it comes to most things. People just like my face.”
Jeongguk tuts, “don’t put yourself down. I mean don’t get me wrong, your face is-” Jeongguk mimics a chefs kiss and Jimin snorts, “but you’re also an amazing actor. Like, seriously good. And apparently an amazing singer. And I’m yet to see your dancing, but I’m pretty sure you’re incredible at that too.”
Jimin shakes his head again but he smiles, his eyes sparkling, “thank you. I think dancing is probably the thing I’m best at. Probably because it’s the thing I enjoy the most.”
He takes another sip of his beer before leaning forward to grab more chicken. Maybe it’s because his managers aren’t present, or maybe it’s because he’s relaxed and uncaring at this moment, but he seems to have forgotten about his diet, eating the fried chicken happily. It makes Jeongguk happy to see him eating whatever he wants to his fill.
“So when do I get the privilege of seeing you dance?”
“Hmm…” Jimin pretends to think, tapping his fingers against his chin, “how about when I get the privilege of seeing your two goldfish,” he challenges, lips spreading into a grin.
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow, “Well that is going to be an issue because if you danced in my apartment it would be a massacre. Books and plants would fly everywhere, soil would get in the fish tank. The water filter would not like that one bit.”
Jimin bursts out laughing, falling backwards slightly like he seems to always do when he laughs, “okay, so no dancing in your apartment. Noted. How are your fish by the way?” he asks, popping another piece of chicken into his mouth.
“They’re doing great. I’m thinking of trying to train them to jump through tiny hoops. I saw a video of someone doing it with goldfish, but the breed I have, well, their heads are so bulbous that I’m scared they would get stuck.”
Jimin snorts, shaking his head, “poor fishies.”
“Hey, they live a life of luxury, believe me.”
“Hmm, I’ll believe it when I see it,” Jimin smirks.
“Is that so,” Jeongguk grins, “I’ll just have to show you then.”
Something shifts behind Jimin’s eyes at the subtle promise. Maybe he wants to see Jeongguk’s space as much as Jeongguk was curious to see his. What would he think of it? The physical manifestation of Jeongguk’s artistic quirks and hobbies, the piles of books and plants which take up more room than the furniture? Would he like it?
“Right, next song! Let’s do this,” Taehyung claps his hands together, grabbing the mic off the table. He chooses a trot song to sing and dances around the room with Hoseok who joins in.
Jeongguk watches with a grin until movement from across the table steals his attention. He raises an eyebrow as Seokjin pushes the food to the side, placing Halli Galli down between them.
“Let’s do this, pretty boy,” he jeers, palming the deck and shuffling the cards.
Jimin leans back on the sofa beside Jeongguk, pulling a knee up and resting his chin on it, “oh, this is going to be good.”
“Betting on me this time then?” Seokjin asks Jimin, “finally realised where your loyalties lie?”
“I don’t know,” Jimin says, a lilt of playfulness in his tone, “Jeongguk-ah is pretty good. Maybe he’ll finally beat you this time.”
Seokjin audibly gasps. “Traitor!” he says, pointing at Jimin who bursts out laughing, falling into Jeongguk’s side.
Jeongguk grins, “best out of five?”
Seokjin cracks his knuckles, “you’re on.”
And so begins the second most competitive game of Halli Galli the world has ever seen, which is eventually won again by Seokjin who just manages to hold onto his title of unbeaten champion by winning three games to two.
When the three hours come to an end they clear up, leaving the plates and bottles in piles at the end of the table for the staff to collect. As Jeongguk is putting the mics away Jimin comes up beside him and clears his throat.
“So, um, what are you doing after this?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “I’ll probably just go home, or maybe I’ll walk around for a bit. It’s Sunday tomorrow so it’s not like I have to get up for work.”
Jimin chews on his bottom lip for a moment before continuing, “well, um, the rest of us are going back to Jin-hyung’s apartment now… do you want to come?”
“Oh really? I mean, yeah I’d love to… if that’s okay?”
“Of course!” Jimin beams, turning to Seokjin, “hyung, Jeongguk said he’ll come.”
“That’s great. Shall I order us all a taxi then?” Seokjin asks, pulling out his phone.
“I have my car,” Jeongguk says and everyone turns to look at him, “I can drive us.”
“Are you sure?”
Jeongguk nods, “of course. There are five seats in my car and five of us, it was meant to be.”
The others chuckle as they grab their things. “Let’s go then,” Hoseok calls out, opening the door. Jimin pulls on his beanie and mask as they step out of the room and down the hallway, thanking the people behind the counter before making their way down the stairs and out onto the street.
“This way,” Jeongguk says, leading the way as Jimin falls into step beside him. They walk past restaurants bustling with people but no one gives them a second glance, too busy with their own conversations.
They wander down the glowing street until they reach Jeongguk’s car, tucked in amongst a row of other vehicles parked along the pavement.
“Shotgun!” Jimin calls out as they get to the car, skipping playfully round to the passenger side door. The others exchange knowing smiles, rolling their eyes as they climb in to the back seats.
When they’re all buckled in Seokjin leans forward and tells Jeongguk his address. He types it into the navigation system and a gentle voice sounds out, ready to direct him to the actors apartment which is actually only a ten minute drive away.
Reaching down, Jeongguk pulls out the aux cord and hands it to Jimin, “Care to be DJ?” Jimin takes the aux with a determined nod, pulling out his phone and connecting it to the car’s sound system as Jeongguk stars the engine and pulls out onto the main road.
Jimin plays upbeat songs, and everyone in the car sings along. He seems proud of himself, happy that everyone is enjoying his song choices. Jeongguk notices Jimin watching him out the corner of his eye, smiling when he sees him singing along and drumming on the steering wheel.
Before long they arrive at Jin’s apartment complex, pulling up to the barrier of the underground parking lot. Seokjin leans his arm out the window to scan his access card to let them in. Once inside he directs Jeongguk to the parking space that is allocated to his apartment. The group pile out of the car, and make their way into the waiting elevator, taking them straight up to Seokjin’s apartment on the twenty third floor.
“Nice place,” Jeongguk comments, struggling a little as he kicks off his shoes in the entranceway before stepping into the apartment. It’s a lot smaller than Jimin’s apartment, but still fancy, although the decor strikes a contrast. Where Jimin’s apartment is pale neutrals and soft furnishings, Seokjin’s apartment has more of an industrial bachelor pad vibe. The living room has huge floor to ceiling windows and there is a stunning view over the city, the lights below twinkling brightly.
“Make yourself at home,” Seokjin says, patting Jeongguk on the back as the others make their way into the living room, “you can help yourself to anything in the fridge.”
“Thanks hyung,” Jeongguk says gratefully, walking over to sit in a chair adjacent to the sofa which Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung have made themselves comfortable on. Jimin and Hoseok are discussing something in hushed voices and fall quiet when Jeongguk sits down, eyes falling onto him. Hoseok grins mischievously and Jimin nudges him before offering Jeongguk a shy smile. Jeongguk returns the smile, feeling himself blush.
Taehyung connects his phone to the sound system and soft jazz music plays low in the background as they all settle down with drinks. They fall into easy conversation, and before long it’s two in the morning and Hoseok has fallen asleep on Jimin’s shoulder.
“Wow. It’s late,” Jeongguk yawns, stretching his arms above his head, “I should head home. Im so glad I don’t have to work tomorrow.”
“You’re more than welcome to stay here,” Seokjin says sleepily, “everyone else is. There’s a spare bedroom, and I can lend you some clothes to sleep in.”
“Are you sure?” Jeongguk asks. He really doesn’t feel like driving home right now.
“Of course, group sleepovers are fun! So, who wants to share a bed?” Seokjin wiggles his eyebrows, glancing between Jimin and Jeongguk.
Jimin’s eyes dart to Jeongguk, widening slightly. “Oh, um-” he starts, a blush creeping over his cheeks.
“I’m fine out here,” Jeongguk says quickly, “you and Hobi-hyung should take the bedroom.
“Are you sure?” Jimin asks.
Jeongguk nods, “yeah, I’ll just…” he looks around the room before gesturing at the sofa, “I’ll take the sofa.”
“I’m sleeping in your room hyung,” Taehyung says with a yawn, pulling himself up and padding towards Seokjin’s bedroom with his eyes half closed already. Seokjin just rolls his eyes, “that’s a surprise.” He turns back to Jeongguk, “I have a futon you can use which I promise is more comfortable than the sofa. I’ll go get it out and you can sleep on that.”
“Thanks, hyung. That would be great,” Jeongguk smiles gratefully.
Jin is quick to bring out the futon and a blanket and pillow, helping Jeongguk set it up. He lends him a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt before bidding them all a goodnight and disappearing down the hall into his room.
“Well, I’d better get this one to bed,” Jimin sighs, gently rousing Hoseok and pulling him up from the sofa, “I guess I’ll see you in the morning?”
Jeongguk nods, “sleep well hyung,” he says with a sleepy smile.
“You too Jeongguk-ah.”
Jimin leads Hoseok towards the spare room, glancing back with a smile before closing the door.
———
Jeongguk is woken up by the sound of footsteps padding across the living room floor, the door to the balcony opening and closing softly. He looks at his phone, squinting against the light. It’s 4:45am, and everything is quiet, the sky just beginning to turn a deep blue as dawn approaches.
Pushing back the blanket, Jeongguk runs a hand through his messy hair and stands up, quietly making his way over to the balcony to peer through the glass door.
Jimin is sitting with his back against the wall beside the door, knees bent, phone in his hand. His other hand is threaded into the front of his hair as he rests his forehead on his palm and looks at his phone. He’s wearing sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt that he’s borrowed from Seokjin, no makeup, hair tousled and messy. He’s the Jimin that Jeongguk can never get enough of. Raw and soft.
Jeongguk slides the door open, stepping out into the morning summer air. The weather is much cooler this early in the morning, the humidity less in the darkness.
“Hey,” Jeongguk whispers, sliding the balcony door closed behind him.
Jimin turns his head and looks up at him. Seeing Jeongguk, his shoulders relax slightly. “Hey Jeongguk-ah,” he says quietly, voice a little rough, “sorry if I woke you up.”
“It’s okay,” Jeongguk smiles softly, his own voice gravelly from sleep, “what are you doing out here?”
“Couldn’t sleep…” Jimin replies, looking back at his phone. He scrolls and scrolls, his thumb between his teeth as he bites absently at the skin.
Jeongguk watches him for a moment before crouching down and sitting opposite him with a grunt, legs bent, back resting against the side of the balcony. He rests his elbows on his knees, running his fingers through the front of his hair.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Jimin sighs. “What’s the point?” he says, dropping his hands into his lap as he looks up at Jeongguk dejectedly, a gentle breeze blowing his hair across his face,“it’s always the same shit.”
Jeongguk glances at the phone in Jimin’s hand, the green Naver logo unmistakable. He frowns looking back up at Jimin, “what happened?”
Jimin doesn’t reply, he simply lifts his phone and offers it to Jeongguk. Jeongguk takes it, looking at the article on the screen. There’s a photo of a man, who the article is claiming is Jimin, in a club drinking and dancing, surrounded by half naked women. The face of the man is obscured by his drink but even Jeongguk can see that it is definitely not Jimin.
But it seems yet again the press don’t care. He clicks back to the main page to see more articles, the titles saying things like, ‘Playboy Park Jimin’, ‘Park Jimin Is Spotted Indulging Himself’ ‘Park Jimin’s Scandalous Revelries.’ Jeongguk continues to scroll and it seems like these media companies work overnight to get the scoop because it’s not even five am and there’s already over a dozen articles.
“What the fuck?” Jeongguk says, tightening his hand around the phone as if it were the neck of whoever wrote all this bullshit, “that’s not even you! You were literally with us the whole night!”
Jimin sighs, closing his eyes and dropping his head back against the wall. “They don’t care. No one cares if it’s real or not. They just want something juicy to talk about over breakfast.”
“Sue them for defamation,” Jeongguk argues, “for invasion of privacy! It’s ridiculous! They can’t just-”
“Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin sighs, cutting off Jeongguk’s rant. He opens his eyes and lifts his head, meeting Jeongguk’s gaze. He looks sad. Tired. Defeated. “There’s no point. It doesn’t matter what I do, trust me. I gave up trying to dig my name out of the dirt a long time ago.”
“But it’s so unfair…” Jeongguk puts the phone face down like it’s burned him, “how do you deal with this every fucking day? It’s too much.”
Jimin doesn’t answer. His eyes are distant, and Jeongguk knows he’s somewhere in the back of his own mind, thoughts ticking over and over, memories replaying, anxieties creeping up and threatening to wrap their hands around his neck and choke him.
Jeongguk slowly shuffles forward, sitting directly in front of Jimin with his legs crossed. Jimin blinks at him and then drops his knees and crosses his own legs under himself imitating Jeongguk’s posture, their knees touching. Jeongguk reaches out tentatively, his fingers brushing over Jimin’s knees in an attempt to comfort him.
“Hyung…” he whispers because it’s all that he can pull out. What else can he say? He feels lost for Jimin, like he’s watching him being tossed about in the waves of the sea, drowned by a ruthless storm as he stands on land powerless to help.
Jimin lets out a shaky breath. He closes his eyes and leans forward, dropping his forehead onto Jeongguk’s shoulder. His hair brushes against Jeongguk’s ear, and his voice is low between them as he speaks.
“Do you ever just feel… outnumbered?”
Jeongguk reaches up and strokes Jimin’s arms, moving down to where his hands are balled into fists in his lap. He gently uncurls them, rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs over the nail marks imprinted into his palms.
“No, I can’t say I have,” Jeongguk replies quietly.
“I think I’ve been outnumbered for as long as I can remember,” Jimin whispers, “my parents, my management, the public, the press. It’s like everyone wants to see me fall. I feel like they’re all just waiting like vultures for the moment I finally crumble.” Jeongguk continues stroking Jimin’s hands as he speaks, listening to the tremble in his voice.
“I try so hard. So damn hard. All my life I just wanted to make people happy, always trying to please everyone and anyone. I did what my mother told me to do. I did what my management told me to do. I smile for the cameras, but it’s never enough.”
Jeongguk hums gently, letting Jimin know he’s listening as he gets everything off his chest. He brushes his fingers gently over Jimin’s palms from his wrists to his fingertips, drawing patterns on his skin. Jimin shifts slightly, turning his head a little further into the juncture of Jeongguk’s neck, like he’s hiding away from the world.
“…I’m not a bad person,” he whispers, voice full of emotion.
“I know you’re not,” Jeongguk assures him, “you’re nothing like people make you out to be. You’re sweet, and funny, and kind. Unfortunately in this world, people tend to try and crush any kindness they see. And it’s a sad fact that people are like sheep, quick to believe any negative things they hear without even checking the facts.”
He sighs, leaning his head against Jimin’s, “but at the end of the day, they’re just a bunch of nameless faces hiding behind their computer screens. It doesn’t matter what they think because the people that actually know you fucking adore you hyung. Like seriously, your friends love you so much, they would kill for you… Jin-hyung actually did threaten to kill me if I screwed with you.”
Jimin chuckles against his neck and Jeongguk smiles, squeezing his hands. “They’re the people who matter. They know the real you. So do I… and for what it’s worth, you’ve got me on your side.”
Jimin slowly sits up, lifting his head from Jeongguk’s shoulder to look at him, a vulnerability in his eyes.
“Really?”
Jeongguk nods, “one hundred percent.”
Jimin smiles, a beautiful, genuine smile which reaches his eyes, turning them into little half moons. Jeongguk’s heart flutters. He will never tire of seeing Jimin smile.
“Thank you,” Jimin whispers, looking down at where their hands are still entwined, “it’s worth more that you know.”
They stay like that for a moment before Jimin’s phone beeps, ruining the moment. He reaches out for it but Jeongguk halts him with a hand on top of his. “How about you turn your phone off for now, huh? Just don’t look at that mess today.”
“Turn it off?” Jimin asks hesitantly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he glances at his phone.
Jeongguk nods. “You’ll just keep looking at the articles and reading through the comments otherwise. Trust me, it’s better to leave it off for a while.”
“But what if my management need to contact me?”
“Then they can wait till tomorrow. Isn’t today your day-off?”
“Yes…”
“Do you have plans?”
“No…”
“Well, you’re going to have to turn your phone off because you’re going to be busy.”
“Busy?” Jimin tilts his head in question.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk grins, “I want to take you somewhere. But first you have to turn off your phone.”
Jimin looks down at his phone, hesitating for a moment. He looks back up at Jeongguk and then takes a deep breath, picking the phone up off the floor and holding down the power button, switching it off. He stares at the black screen for a moment before slipping it into his pocket and Jeongguk smiles proudly.
“Okay, let’s go.”
“Right now?” Jimin asks wide eyed.
“Yep,” Jeongguk replies, jumping to his feet and holding out a hand to Jimin, “come with me.”
Jimin looks unsure but takes Jeongguk’s hand anyway, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.”
They make their way inside quietly, tiptoeing across the living room to the front door to put on their shoes. Jeongguk gently grabs his keys off the side and hands Jimin a face mask, “I have a hoodie in the car that you can borrow.”
“Oh… thanks,” Jimin whispers, putting on the mask. They close the front door gently, careful not to wake the others, and then make their way down to the parking lot.
Jeongguk unlocks his car with a beep and drops into the driver seat as Jimin climbs into the passenger seat beside him, removing his mask and tucking it into his pocket. Jeongguk reaches back and grabs his black hoodie from the back seat, handing it to Jimin.
“Here, you can wear this.”
“Oh, t-thanks,” Jimin says, taking the hoodie. He stares at it for a moment before pulling it over his head and pushing his arms into the sleeves, shuffling a bit in his seat to straighten it out before pulling the hood up over his fluffy blonde hair. He turns his head and looks at Jeongguk with a shy smile, “…hi.”
“Hey,” Jeongguk replies breathlessly. His hoodie is a little big on Jimin, the sleeves falling over his hands giving him sweater paws and he looks so soft it has Jeongguk’s stomach doing flips. “You ready?”
“I’m ready.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
Jeongguk pulls out of the parking lot and heads through Gangnam and over the river, through Hannam-dong, heading north up towards Namsan. It’s just past 5am and the roads are almost deserted. After about ten minutes he takes a familiar turning off the main road onto a steeper mountain road.
“So are you going to tell me where we’re going yet?” Jimin asks, watching as the shops and buildings turn to trees.
“It’s just a little further,” Jeongguk smiles knowingly, “You’ll like it, I promise. It’s one of my happy places.” It’s a place he has frequented plenty of times when the weather is clear and bright, a place that helps him clear his head.
Jimin smiles, leaning his head against the window. He seems relaxed as he watches the mountain scenery pass by the window.
Jeongguk rolls down his window, letting the air rush into the car. “Isn’t it nice that Seoul is surrounded by mountains? It’s like, you can get away from the city, but you’re still in the city- but you’re not. Does that make sense?”
Jimin chuckles and nods, “yeah it makes sense. I’ve never been to the mountains before though.”
“Really? Never?” Jeongguk asks in surprise.
Jimin shakes his head, “I told you I don’t get out much.”
Jeongguk hums, “well let’s change that, starting today.”
He pulls the car into a lay-by tucked away amongst the trees and switches off the engine. “Okay, we’re here.”
Jimin sits up, looking around curiously, “where is here?”
“A place where you don’t have to hide away,” Jeongguk says, jumping out of the car and waking round to open the door for Jimin, “somewhere you can clear your head, forget about all the drama and just be you.”
He holds his hand out and Jimin takes it, climbing out of the car to stand next to him. Jimin looks around, glancing up at the canopy of trees above them. “Its nice,” he nods, “very peaceful. Nature is good.”
Jeongguk can’t help but laugh, “this isn’t it hyung,” he chuckles, “but bless you for being so enthusiastic.”
Jimin pouts ever so slightly, and Jeongguk almost coos. He reaches out and takes hold of Jimin’s hand. “Follow me,” he says, leading them down a quiet path through the trees. They walk for about a minute until the trees fall away and Jimin sucks in a small breath.
In front of them is a small traditional pagoda, hexagonal in shape, bright painted wood curling in patterns under the swooping roof. It overlooks a completely uninterrupted view of the city and mountains, the whole of Seoul stretched out like a blanket beneath them. The sun is just beginning to rise, painting the sky in an array of pink and purple hues.
“Do you like it?” Jeongguk asks, tucking his hands into his pockets and rocking on his feet.
Jimin nods, his mouth open in awe. He rushes forward, climbing the steps of the pagoda and walking to the edge to look out at the panoramic view. Jeongguk follows, resting his elbows on the handrail next to Jimin.
“It’s so beautiful,” Jimin says and he smiles that smile that Jeongguk can never get enough of.
“It really is,” Jeongguk whispers, his eyes fixed on Jimin.
“Do you come here a lot?” Jimin asks.
“Hmm I wouldn’t say a lot. Mostly when I feel like things get too much. I don’t know… getting away from it for just a bit… it can help you get some perspective.” Jeongguk shrugs, “or it’s just a pretty view. Maybe I’m just too philosophical.”
Jimin shakes his head, “no, I think you’re right.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a second before opening them again, gazing out across the city, “it does seem far away when you’re up here. Like the problems aren’t that big when everything’s so small.”
They stand there in silence for a bit, watching the sun slowly rise before Jeongguk speaks again.
“Hyung… I’m so sorry for how I acted when we first met. I was such a dick, I don’t know how you didn’t punch me. Seeing what you have to go through every day, and knowing that I added to it… god I’m really sorry.”
Jimin shakes his head, “I wasn’t exactly pleasant to you either Jeongguk-ah. I automatically assumed you were out to get me, so I tried to scare you off. I should have at least given you a chance.”
Jeongguk shrugs, “I understand why you didn’t though. If I was you I probably would have done the same. But I hope now you know that I’m not out to get you. this isn’t going to be some exposé article. I won’t write about your anxiety, or your sexuality, or any other perfectly normal and human things about you that the media would tear into. I’m on your side hyung, I promise. You can trust me.”
Jimin looks at him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he fights an internal battle. His eyes flicker from one of Jeongguk’s to the other, “I want to trust you…”
“But you’re still cautious?”
Jimin nods and Jeongguk hums, “well I’ll just have to earn your trust then… starting now.” He skips over to the steps of the pagoda and jumps down them, turning and beckoning Jimin over.
Jimin raises an eyebrow as he walks toward him, “what are you doing.”
“Operation earn Jimin-hyung’s trust, step one: the trust fall.”
Jimin looks at him in amusement, tilting his head, “trust fall? What even is that?”
Jeongguk’s jaw drops, “what do you mean what is it? You’ve never done a trust fall before?” Jimin shakes his head and Jeongguk pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s worse than I thought,” he sighs jokingly, “okay, basically you close your eyes, and I stand behind you. You fall backwards and I’ll catch you. Then we swap over and you catch me. It’s how we show our trust in each other. It’s better from a little height, just to add danger… hence why I’m down here, and you’re up there.”
Jimin stands at the top of the step looking down at Jeongguk sceptically, “I swear if you drop me, you’re explaining it to my management.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes “I won’t drop you! That’s the point, jeez. I can’t believe you never did this at school.”
“My school was pretty strict.”
“Okay well, you have to commit one hundred percent, okay? No hesitating. You have to trust me.”
Jimin nods, positioning himself at the edge of the step. Jeongguk stands below him with his arms out, preparing to catch him.
“Okay now turn around, close your eyes, hold your arms out to the side and fall back. I’ll catch you, I promise.”
Jimin nods in understanding, turning around and closing his eyes, holding his arms out to the side. He barely hesitates for a second before he falls backwards, sucking in a breath as Jeongguk catches him easily, arms wrapping around his waist.
His weight sits comfortably in Jeongguk’s arms, messy blonde hair brushing against his jaw, and Jeongguk is hit with a sudden urge not to let him go. He feels Jimin lean into him like he wants the same, but then he pulls away and Jeongguk lets go.
“See? We did it! A bond has been formed!” Jeongguk claps.
Jimin giggles, “okay, that was actually kind of fun. So, I guess I have to catch you now,” Jimin steps to where Jeongguk stands, gesturing to the step, “up you go.”
Jeongguk steps up onto the step and Jimin positions himself behind him with his arms out. Jeongguk closes his eyes and holds out his arms, falling backwards. However mid fall he panics, realising that he’s actually super heavy. What if Jimin isn’t prepared for his weight and can’t catch him properly? He flails his arms trying to right himself but it’s too late.
“Shit!” Jimin yelps as he tries to catch a flailing Jeongguk, wrapping his arms around his chest as they both crumple to the floor. The reality of the situation hits him when he’s laying on his back on top of Jimin’s heaving chest, pagoda and trees above them.
There’s a moment of silence as they both look at the sky, before Jimin bursts out laughing.
It’s right next to Jeongguk’s ear, musical, and light, and playful, as if his worries have all lifted from him in that moment. Jeongguk starts to laugh too and suddenly they’re both in hysterics, both still tangled together on the floor, Jimin’s arms still wrapped across Jeongguk’s chest, in no hurry to let him go.
“I thought you were supposed to trust me?!” Jimin says through his laughter.
“I did! I just panicked because I’m heavy! I promise I do trust you. Quick, let’s do it again!”
“Fuck no,” Jimin snorts, “technically I caught you. He unwraps his arms from around Jeongguk and pushes him up off him so they’re both sitting.
“Thank you, for this,” Jimin says, wiping the tears from his laughter, “I really needed this.”
“You’re welcome hyung.”
Jimin stands, brushing his clothes off and pulling Jeongguk to stand. They step back up into the pagoda, taking in the view again. The sun has almost fully risen now and the city is slowly waking up.
Jeongguk leans back against one of the posts and lets Jimin have a moment to himself. It wasn’t empty sentiment. This place really has helped him in the past, during times when he was feeling overwhelmed and couldn’t get away from the city. Sometimes being a coastal-born soul stuck in a big land-locked city can feel claustrophobic, so getting up above it gives him that perspective. He hopes it will do that for Jimin too.
Jimin leans on the railing, gazing out over the city, his blonde hair gently tousled by the wind.
He looks so human, so unapologetically himself that Jeongguk finds himself taking out his phone, lifting it to take a photo.
Jimin lifts his arms and takes a deep lungful of air as he stretches them out above his head and Jeongguk takes another photo, capturing the moment Jimin lets it all go and just breathes.
Notes:
Hope you enjoyed the fluff!
Chapter 6: Ocean Eyes
Notes:
The boys are back!
Enjoy 20k of two boys in love starting to realise they’re in love 😭
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hyung, is there anything your skilled hands can’t do?” Jeongguk sighs as he drools over the bbq meat that Yoongi is turning skilfully over the glowing coals in the center of the table.
It’s Sunday evening, and the streets of Seoul are bustling, the restaurants overflowing with people sitting around on the tables and chairs which line the streets. The hum of chatter, and the sizzling of meat fills the air as Jeongguk tucks his plastic stool further under the table, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
“Yeah hyung,” Namjoon teases, raising a suggestive eyebrow at Yoongi, “is there anything they can’t do?”
“Yah,” Yoongi points his tongs threateningly at Namjoon, “if you’re going to be saying shit like that tonight I’ll take your drink off you. I know how loose your tongue gets on too much soju.”
Namjoon raises his eyebrows and sits back on his stool, miming zipping his lips. “I’m saying nothing.”
“Mhm, let’s keep it that way.” Yoongi pushes the cooked pieces of meat to the sides of the grill before placing some more raw pork belly into the centre. “Okay, help yourselves.” Jeongguk can’t quite move fast enough as he takes a piece of the cooked meat, making a high pitched noise out of pure excitement.
“Thank you, hyung. You hands down grill the best meat. I don’t know how you get it so perfect.”
“Years of practice,” Yoongi grins, “I’ve been the designated cook ever since I was a kid, right Joon-ah?”
Namjoon nods, taking a piece of the cooked meat and folding it inside a piece of lettuce. He lifts it up to Yoongi’s mouth as if it were second nature, and Yoongi parts his lips to eat it while still concentrating on the grill. The action is so domestic and comfortable it reminds Jeongguk of an old married couple.
“Ever since I almost burned down my grandfathers house when I was younger, I tend to steer clear of cooking,” Namjoon says, putting his hands up in defeat, “but it’s okay because I have Yoongi-hyung to cook for me.”
Yoongi chuckles, shaking his head as he finally finishes grilling all the meat. He sits back and pours himself a shot of soju before tucking in.
Jeongguk picks up another piece of meat and pops it in his mouth as he glances at his surroundings. This is exactly the type of place Jimin had said he wanted to eat at. Jeongguk can almost picture him sitting on the empty stool beside him, laughing at some cheesy joke he’d made, no mask, no hat pulled over his eyes, no anxious glances around. He’d love to bring Jimin here. He wonders if it could ever be possible. Maybe one day.
He picks up his glass of soju with a smile as he imagines it.
“You’ve got that sappy smile on your face again,” Namjoon says around a mouthful of meat, “you’ve been like this all week, all sappy smiles and heart eyes.”
“Hm?” Jeongguk hums as he brings his glass to his lips. Was he smiling? He didn’t even realise.
“I take it things are going well with your Jimin then?” Yoongi asks with a teasing lilt.
Jeongguk chokes on his drink, patting his chest as he coughs, trying to catch his breath. “I-it’s not like that,” he wheezes, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “t-that was a slip of the tongue.”
“I bet you’d like to slip him the tongue,” Namjoon says wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
“He’d like to slip him more than that-”
“Hyung!” Jeongguk splutters as Namjoon and Yoongi burst out laughing. He can feel himself blushing furiously and cups his cheeks in embarrassment.
“Okay, okay, we’d better stop teasing him,” Yoongi snorts, “look how red he’s gone.”
“We’re just joking Jeongguk-ah,” Namjoon chuckles, leaning over to ruffle Jeongguk’s hair playfully. “You’ve got to admit though, you and Jimin would make a hot couple. It’s a shame he’s straight,” he sighs.
Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he nods sheepishly, stuffing another piece of meat into his mouth. He forgets that everyone still thinks Jimin is straight. If he was it would make Jeongguk’s life a whole lot easier, because the more time he spends with Jimin- the more he gets to know the real Jimin- the more he can’t deny that he’s developing feelings for him… very real feelings that he’s not sure what to do with.
“Things are going well though right?” Yoongi asks, interrupting his thoughts. “He’s not driving you crazy anymore?”
Oh he’s driving me crazy Jeongguk thinks to himself, running a hand through his hair, just in the I want to be with you every second of every minute of every hour of every day kind of way.
“So you guys are getting along now?” Namjoon asks.
Jeongguk feels himself smiling again.“Yeah hyung, we’re getting along now.”
It’s been a week since noraebang, a week since he’d taken Jimin out of the city at dawn to his favourite spot, and it still feels like some sort of fever dream. Like a secret shared between only the two of them. Since that day there has been a definite shift in their relationship. A spark that’s been ignited. If he was feeling delusional he might convince himself that maybe Jimin has feelings for him too.
“So, how’s the article coming along?” Namjoon asks, pouring himself another glass of soju.
Jeongguk sighs, resting his chin on his hand. “I’m working on it.”
He’s tried a few times already, sitting down on his sofa and opening his laptop, trying to pull out a few sentences, but his writers block still has a firm grip on him. Maybe it’s because it will probably be the most important article he will ever write in his life- one that will show the world who Jimin really is- but he doesn’t even know where to start. He needs it to be perfect, and that’s what is stopping him before he even starts.
“You know you only have three weeks left right?” Yoongi asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Don’t remind me,” Jeongguk groans, poking a piece of meat with his chopsticks. Tomorrow is the start of his sixth week shadowing Jimin, and he doesn’t know where the time has gone. It feels like only yesterday that Jimin was throwing him out of his dressing room on his first day. The memory makes Jeongguk chuckle, shaking his head. They’ve both come so far since that day, but now he only has three weeks left…
Three weeks to write his article… and three weeks with Jimin.
———
“Have you ever thought about working as a stylist?” Hoseok says over his shoulder as Jeongguk follows him across the busy studio floor, helping him carry a huge bundle of clothes which he’s struggling not to drop, or trip over. “Because I feel like you’d make a brilliant wardrobe assistant. I mean look at how many clothes you can carry at once. It’s a waste of your talent being a renowned journalist.”
Jeongguk chuckles, adjusting his hold on the pile of clothes in his arms. “Well then, I guess if writing ever falls through I can count on you giving me a job?”
“You sure can,” Hoseok grins as he uses his shoulder to push into Jimin’s dressing room, holding the door open with his foot while Jeongguk shuffles in after him, “to be honest, I’d love to keep you around longer.” The pair let out a harmonious sigh of relief as they drop the clothes onto the sofa for Hoseok to organise later. Hoseok stretches his arms above his head with a groan, and then turns towards Jeongguk with a mischievous grin on his face.
“Do you know who else would love to keep you around-”
As if on cue the door swings open and Jimin walks into the dressing room, carrying three iced coffees in a cardboard holder. He’s wearing a baggy oversized t-shirt, joggers and a pair of sliders with his fluffy blonde hair pushed back from his face. He stops in front of Jeongguk and Hoseok, glancing between the two of them suspiciously.
“What?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, “why are you both looking at me like that?”
“Oh, no reason,” Hoseok singsongs, turning and walking over to the vanity to hide his smug face, “I was just telling Jeonggukie here how much we love having him around. Right Jiminie?”
Jimin’s eyes widen comically as he looks from Hoseok to Jeongguk, a slight blush creeping across his cheeks. “Uh…”
“Come on, I’m not that important,” Jeongguk chuckles nervously, ruffling the hair on the back of his head.
“You are,” Jimin says suddenly, voice so low Jeongguk almost misses it. Jimin is looking at him with an intensity in his eyes that Jeongguk hasn’t seen before, and it makes his stomach do a little flip. He isn’t sure how long they stare at each other before Hoseok clears his throat noisily, snapping them out of it.
“Sorry to disturb the ‘moment’ you guys are having, but I need to start Jimin’s makeup,” he says from across the room, grinning from ear to ear.
Jimin makes a spluttering noise as Jeongguk clears his throat awkwardly, “W-we weren’t- that’s not-”
Hoseok just laughs, waving Jimin over. Jimin stares daggers at him, a look that says ‘I’m going to kill you’. He grabs one of the iced coffees from the holder and hands it to Jeongguk before moving past him and walking over to Hoseok. Jimin whispers something to him, slapping him playfully on the arm before dropping down into his chair and holding up another coffee which Hoseok takes gratefully from his hand.
“Thank you Jiminie.”
“Yeah, thank you hyung,” Jeongguk says, taking a sip of his iced americano as he sits down in his usual chair next to the vanity. “I really need to repay the favour and get you coffee instead. I feel bad that you’re always getting them.”
“Buying coffee for people is like Jimin’s love language,” Hoseok says, placing his beverage onto the table and raking his fingers through Jimin’s hair as he pulls out a slim comb from his belt. “Prepare for an increased caffeine dependency, that’s all I can say.”
Jimin shushes him, and Hoseok gets to work styling Jimin’s loose hair back out of his face, exposing his stunning profile to Jeongguk’s lingering eyes. He can’t help the way he stares. It’s like Jimin is sculpted from marble or something. How does he exist and the balance of the universe hasn’t gone into meltdown? He’s the very definition of perfection.
Jimin’s eyes meet his through the mirror and Jeongguk feels his stomach flip. It happens a lot recently, the two of them catching each other’s eye. Usually one of them will look away shyly, but this time it’s different. This isn’t a fleeting glance. This time Jimin has a boldness in his aura as he holds Jeongguk’s gaze, the indirectness of the mirror somehow making it easier. It feels like an eternity before Hoseok steps in front of Jimin to do his makeup, breaking their moment again.
Once Hoseok finishes Jimin’s hair and makeup Jeongguk leaves the room to let him get changed. He makes his way to his usual seat and sits down, taking a sip of his coffee as he glances around the studio he’s become so familiar with. He watches as the staff flitter around the set preparing for filming to begin, some rearranging the furniture, others adjusting the lighting.
Jeongguk’s eyes immediately find Jimin when he walks onto set a few minutes later, positioning himself in front of the cameras. Jimin glances over at him, the corners of his lips pulling up into a soft smile before he looks away, getting into character as the director shouts ‘action’.
Jeongguk can’t help but notice the way that he and Jimin have started to gravitate towards each other at any possible moment. He notices the way Jimin’s eyes search him out after every call of ‘cut’, and how he himself seems to have a built in radar tuned in to where the actor is at any given moment. Something has shifted between them since their little early morning adventure a week ago. Something still unspoken, but it’s there, simmering under the surface, and every day it becomes just that bit more difficult to ignore.
Jimin finishes filming the current scene with a familiar call of ‘cut’ from the director. He steps out from in front of the bright studio lights, squinting a little as one shines too close to his face. Jeongguk stands up from where he was seated at the back of the studio, ducking behind a camera and stepping over some wires as he walks towards where Jimin is standing.
He watches in bemusement as a staff member rushes over to give Jimin his script before quickly running away. He had almost forgotten that the staff and general public still think Jimin is some kind of violent, aggressive monster. It’s crazy, because as he looks at Jimin now, nibbling on his bottom lip as he looks down at his script, all Jeongguk can feel is fondness.
“Good job on that scene, hyung,” he says as he comes to stand in front of Jimin. Jimin looks up as soon as he hears his voice.
“Thanks, Jeongguk-ah,” he says with a tired smile, “I messed up the first take though. These damn medical terms are always so hard to remember.” He looks back down at the script again with a frown.
“Can I see?” Jeongguk asks, holding out his hand, “maybe I can help. I am a writer you know.” He wiggles his eyebrows and Jimin snorts, handing him the script. Jeongguk looks at the next scene and tries to read some of the long words.
“Sub… subara… s-subarachnoid… haem… haemorrhage…”
“You’re just as shitty as me!” Jimin chuckles, reaching out to take the script which Jeongguk quickly lifts up out of his reach.
“Nooo, I’ve got this I swear!” Jeongguk whines trying to read the script that he’s holding above his head as Jimin swipes at it from below. Jimin manages to catch the bottom of the paper with his fingers despite Jeongguk’s evasive manoeuvres.
“Give it back, Mr Writer,” he says, tugging on it, “or I’m going to tell your boss you suck at reading.”
Jeongguk narrows his eyes. “My boss just happens to also be one of my best friends, so if you think he will believe you when you tell him I am completely incompetent, you are absolutely correct.”
Jimin laughs as he takes the script back, his eyes forming little crescents. He takes a step back when he notices their proximity, clearing his throat and straightening out his jacket. “Well, thank you for your help,” he teases, making air quotes with his fingers before turning to walk towards the director who has called him over.
Jeongguk snorts, watching him go with a smile. He hadn’t even noticed how the staff standing around them had long fallen silent, watching the them with mouths agape, looks of shock and bewilderment on their faces. It seems that Jimin hasn’t noticed either, stealing a glance over his shoulder at Jeongguk as if willing him to follow.
Jeongguk jogs after him, dodging between staff to keep up with the actor. Jimin walks with a natural sway, like the entire world is his runway. His aura is intoxicating and Jeongguk suddenly feels like he’s one of the fish from his childhood- hooked on a line as he practically trips over his own his feet to catch up with him.
“Jimin-ssi,” the director says in his gruff voice as the two of them come to a stop in front of him, “filming has been postponed this Saturday so that you can attend the National Film and Television Awards. Your management have explained that you’ve been nominated for best actor in the drama you starred in previous to this one.” The director smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Congratulations… but try and promote your roll in this drama when you are being interviewed, hm?” He pats Jimin on the shoulder, “let’s try and win some awards for this too.” Jimin nods, and the director retracts his hand, turning to talk to one of the producers instead as Jimin walks away.
“So it’s your job to promote their drama?” Jeongguk asks in an unamused tone as he follows Jimin back to his dressing room. “Isn’t that supposed to be the company’s job? I mean, I thought that’s what advertisements are for?” He opens the door and holds it for Jimin who thanks him as he walks inside.
“I think the director is annoyed that I’m nominated for another drama while working on this one,” Jimin shrugs as he walks over to where he had left his bag on the vanity, pulling out his phone. Jeongguk leans against the table next to him, his arms crossed over his chest. They’re alone, Hoseok currently out organising the wardrobe worn by the extras.
“Well, what does he expect? It’s not your fault you’re constantly filming new things. The National Film and Television Awards is an annual event and you’ve already filmed two dramas this year, and appeared in a movie.”
Jimin sighs, frowning down at his phone. “Well according to my management, even that’s not enough. I need to keep working if I want to stay relevant. They want me to always be at the top. That way they can keep making money from me. I need to stay in demand.”
“Is that what you want?”
Jimin turns to look at him, that tired look back on his face. “Does it matter what I want?”
“Yes,” Jeongguk says firmly, “of course it matters.” He’s close to Jimin now, close enough to see the dark circles under his eyes. “That should be what’s most important, hyung.”
Jimin chews on his bottom lip, eyes flickering from one of Jeongguk’s to the other, before he looks away, fiddling with his phone. “Actually, um, there’s something I wanted to ask you… well, something I was wondering…”
“Hm?” Jeongguk tilts his head in question.
Jimin looks like he steels himself before finally asking, “will you come to the award show? With me?”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen. “The award show?” He had in fact already known that Jimin was attending because Jimin’s management had told him a few days ago that he wouldn’t need to come to set this weekend. He had asked them whether that meant he would be able to attend the ceremony too, but Jimin’s management had explained that unfortunately he wouldn’t be able to shadow Jimin on this particular schedule. It sort of made sense he supposes. It would be strange for Jimin to be walking along on the red carpet with Jeongguk tagging along behind him.
“I don’t think I’m allowed to hyung…” Jeongguk says slowly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, “your management said I wasn’t...”
“Oh.” Jimin deflates, “that’s okay, I understand…. it’s just,” he runs a slightly shaky hand through his hair, “I hate these sort of events the most, you know? All the cameras, and the red carpet, and the interviews. All the eyes on me. My anxiety shoots through the roof. I guess I just thought… if you were there… but never mind, it’s fine.” He turns to pick up his bag but Jeongguk reaches out and grabs one of his hands to stop him.
“Woah woah, wait a minute,” he says quickly, “just because your management says I’m not allowed to go, doesn’t mean I won’t go.” Jimin turns back, eyes searching Jeongguk’s again.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, do I ever listen to people telling me I can’t do something?”
Jimin snorts, his lips curling at the corners, “no...”
“Exactly. And I am a member of the press am I not?”
Jimin frowns at the word press. “I suppose…”
“So I’ll just ask my boss to get me a press pass. I mean, I’ll probably have to stand in the press pit most of the time, but at least I’ll be there,” he squeezes Jimin’s hand gently, “as moral support.”
Jimin’s face breaks into a brilliant smile. “Really? You’ll come? Jin-hyung and Taehyung will also be attending, and Hobi-hyung will be there obviously, but I think this will be the first time anyone from the press will be there to support me.”
Jeongguk gives a contemplative hum. “Well if that’s the case, I should definitely bring a banner.”
Jimin snorts, “oh my god, please no.”
“One of those big ones, you know? ‘Park Jimin, Fighting!’ Something like that.”
Jimin pushes at his chest, his laughter gentle and warm, “please don’t make me regret asking you to come.”
“You can’t regret it,” Jeongguk pouts, “I’m your biggest fan. Aren’t you curious why I follow you around every minute of your working day?
Jimin’s laughter dies down and something deeper shines behind his eyes. “I could never regret having you around, Jeon Jeongguk.”
Just then Hoseok walks into the dressing room carrying a few items of clothing. He looks back and forth between Jimin and Jeongguk, blinking a few times.
“Uh, hi guys… am I interrupting?”
Jeongguk only then realises how close they’re standing, and that he’s still holding Jimin’s hand. He lets go and steps back, reaching up to scratch at the back of his neck as Jimin pulls the strap of his bag up around his shoulder and smiles at Hoseok. “Jeongguk-ah said he will come to the award ceremony.”
“Really? That’s awesome!” Hoseok claps excitedly, “I told you he would. Taehyung and Jin-hyung are also attending- albeit separately, and I’ll be there behind the scenes. Aww, the whole crew will be together!”
Jeongguk smiles, happy to hear that Jimin’s close support network will all be attending after seeing how nervous he is about it. “Are you all getting ready together?” he asks.
Jimin shakes his head. “No. I’ll be getting ready at the venue from about four o’clock in the afternoon. They have special dressing rooms for the celebrities who are attending. Then you basically line up like cattle behind the scenes and file out one by one onto the red carpet to be eaten alive by the press.”
Jeongguk can totally understand why award ceremonies are something Jimin struggles with most. For many celebrities, being on a red carpet in front of thousands of watching eyes and constant flashing cameras would be enjoyable. But for someone who suffers with anxiety, who hates attention and crowds, it must be a living nightmare.
He looks at Jimin and gives him a re-assuring smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll get through it together.”
———
It had taken one very short phone call from Yoongi, and Jeongguk had found himself adorned with a highly coveted access-all-areas press pass. It hangs around his neck like a medal as he walks into the KBS arena.
Jeongguk has dressed for the occasion, wearing his most expensive black suit with his long hair pushed back from his face. It’s actually the suit he had worn when he’d won his own award in journalism, and it’s making him feel quite nostalgic.
He flashes his lanyard at the security, and bows as they let him pass. It’s just after 4pm and the arena is already buzzing, the show staff and teams of the attendees bustling around, preparing for the ceremony. Jeongguk walks through the corridors, following the signs pointing the way to the dressing rooms.
He scans the names on the outside of the dressing room doors as he walks, and just as he finds the plaque which reads ‘Park Jimin’, he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He takes it out to see Jimin’s name appear on the screen.
Hi Jeongguk-ah 😊
…(typing)
When will you be here?
Jeongguk smiles down at his phone before tapping lightly on the door.
A staff member Jeongguk recognises as one of the wardrobe assistants from Hoseok’s team opens the door. She bows a polite hello and pulls the door open, stepping aside to let him enter.
The dressing room isn’t huge, just a little smaller than Jimin’s dressing room at the studio. It has a table, a sofa and a bathroom attached. It reminds Jeongguk of a hotel room without the bed. He sees Jimin sitting in a chair in front of a large mirror still in his casual clothes, with Hoseok doing his hair. There are a number of staff members hovering around like flies, including Jimin’s manager. It feels a little crowded. Jeongguk can almost feel the tension in the room as everyone prepares for the event ahead.
“Jeongguk-ah!” Hoseok beams when he catches sight of him, “you made it!”
When Jimin hears Jeongguk’s name his head snaps around instantly, phone in hand, the fingernails of his other hand being chewed on anxiously. His shoulders relax slightly, and his hand drops from his mouth, a relieved smile replacing it.
“You came.”
“I came,” Jeongguk says with a calm and confident smile, hoping that his energy will rub off on Jimin, who despite relaxing a little at the sight of Jeongguk still looks drawn tight like a bow.
Jeongguk bows a greeting to the staff in the room as he walks over to Jimin and Hoseok, stepping carefully around a staff member who is steaming Jimin’s suit. When he reaches the two of them he does a little twirl to show off his outfit.
Hoseok whistles. “Looking good Jeongguk-ah.”
“Are you trying to show me up?” Jimin asks, raising an eyebrow as his eyes trail up Jeongguk’s form, “I thought I was supposed to be the star here?”
“Ah, it’s all part of my master plan you see,” Jeongguk says with a sly smile, “to take the pressure off you. You don’t have to worry about all those eyes staring at you when they’re going to be looking at me instead.”
Jimin laughs, more of his tension visibly melting away. “Well,” he says, quirking an eyebrow as his tongue darts out to wet his lips, “I definitely won’t have any trouble finding you in the crowd, that’s for sure. I usually try to avoid looking at the press pit too much, but now you’ve put me in a predicament.”
“Jimin-ssi?” Jimin’s manager cuts in as he walks over to them, “would you like to go through your acceptance speech one more time?” Jimin is suddenly stony faced again, nodding and taking the piece of paper his manager holds out. He stands up and starts to pace around the room while reading the speech.
“He always gets so worried that he’ll mess up and the media will use it as ammo against him,” Hoseok sighs, “I mean, it’s not like you can do a re-take at a live award show.”
Jeongguk nods in understanding, watching Jimin as he paces back and forth, mumbling under his breath. Hoseok offers Jeongguk a chair and he sits, giving Jimin some space as he reads over the speech again and again.
A knock on the door announces the arrival of one of the award show staff, who after greeting Jimin with a curt bow gives him instructions on where he will need to go, and what he will need to do as he listens attentively.
“When you walk onto the red carpet, you need to walk all the way to the end and stop in front of the press,” the show staff explains. “There’s a small ‘x’ on the floor marking the spot where you should stand. When posing for photos you shouldn’t be too quick, but also not too slow. The MC will ask you to do certain poses so please follow their directions. You will be one of the last celebrities to walk the carpet as you are one of the most popular actors at the moment. There will be a brief interview done by the MC, and then you should exit quickly, following the route directed by the staff. When you make your way into the arena for the ceremony you will be directed to your seat which is located in the centre near the stage amongst the other nominated actors.”
Jimin listens intently, nodding along as she speaks, but Jeongguk doesn’t miss the way his hands clench tightly at his sides. It is a lot to remember. Jeongguk has already forgotten half of what she said. Add that to the fact that there are thousands of people watching and it’s no wonder that Jimin is anxious.
Once the award show staff member leaves, Jimin’s manager then gives him strict instruction to be gracious if he doesn’t win the award as the cameras will be on him at all times, the public analysing his body language and facial expressions.
Sitting silently to the side, even Jeongguk is now feeling stressed. When he’d won his journalism award he hadn’t even planned a speech, decided to wing it when he got up on stage, letting his brain- which is always a whirlwind of words- take control of his mouth. It had all worked out fine, and has solidified itself as one of his greatest core memories, something he’ll remember for the rest of his life.
But this… Jeongguk has just watched what can only be described as a briefing for a military operation. Looking his left, he sees Hoseok frowning in concern.
Jimin just nods as his manager and another staff member- perhaps a member of his PR team- micromanage every part of him, right down to his facial expressions. Jeongguk is reminded of the little three year old Jimin he had seen on YouTube when he’d first researched him, the way he was all dolled up and made to smile and pose for the cameras whether he wanted to or not, like some sort of puppet.
Jeongguk closes his eyes and tilts his head to the side, cracking his neck loudly before rolling out his shoulders and standing up, trying to shake the irritation off of him so that it doesn’t make Jimin more anxious. Hoseok startles beside him at the loud popping of his bones, looking at him in shock and a little horror. Jeongguk just throws him a smile before walking towards Jimin as his manager and the staff member walk away from him. Jimin drops back into a chair in the corner, leaning forwards with his elbows on his knees to read over his pre-prepared speech again. He doesn’t even hear Jeongguk approaching as he reads the words under his breath.
Jeongguk places his hand gently on Jimin’s shoulder and Jimin jolts in response. He whips his head up and it’s almost instantaneous the way he relaxes into the touch when he realises it’s Jeongguk.
“Hey,” Jeongguk says, squeezing the tense muscle just a little, “you’d think they were preparing you to be sent out onto the battle field or something.”
Jimin scoffs. “They might as well be.”
Jeongguk slips his hand from Jimin’s shoulder and drags a chair to sit down next to him, Jimin’s sharp eyes following his every move. “Now I’m not sure if you’ve heard,” Jeongguk says humorously, “but I have an extensive record of winning major awards at live award shows.” Jimin levels him with an unconvinced look, and Jeongguk clears his throat. “Well, okay, if we’re being exact… one award. But it’s not my fault that there’s only one major writing and journalism award show. Anyway, with my outstanding experience, I might be able to help. Can I see your acceptance speech?”
Jimin sighs, handing the speech to him. “It’s basically a lot of names to remember,” he says wearily, “I have to thank all the higher-ups in the agency, and I need to memorise it rather than taking the paper up, because that will look unprofessional. Also they said it would be good PR to thank my mother…” he grimaces, bringing his thumb to his mouth to chew on the nail anxiously.
Jeongguk snorts. “That’s bullshit. When’s the last time that woman did anything to help you in any way?”
Jimin shrugs. “I don’t know, probably never. She’s going to be here tonight too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. She always finds a way to get herself invited.”
“What about your grandmother?”
“My grandmother?” Jimin’s eyes soften at her mention, “she isn’t attending as far as I know. I wish she was though.” He sighs, fingers picking at the skin around his nails. Jeongguk smiles sympathetically and then glances down at the speech in his hand.
“Wow… this is a long speech.”
“Because it’s one of the main categories. They expect you to talk for longer… also I have to mention the sponsors.”
“I can tell all this is messing with your head a bit,” Jeongguk gestures at the speech and the room around them, “it’s messing with my head and I’m only going to be in the audience.”
Jimin chuckles, but he sounds exhausted. He leans back in his seat and crosses his legs, body angling towards Jeongguk. “So, what do you suggest Mr Writer? Are you going to re-write my speech for me?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “That will just be another thing that you have to memorise. My suggestion is, if you win, forget about the audience, forget about the lights and the cameras, and the fucking ‘sponsors’. Just speak what’s on your mind. Tell everyone what you’re truly thankful for. Speak from your heart, or just say whatever comes into your head as if you were sitting in your living room talking to your friends. Don’t let your company force you to just memorise a list of names like a robot. Just, I don’t know… speak yourself.”
“Speak myself…” Jimin hums, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, “I’ve never been good at that. What if I mess it all up?”
“Then I will make a huge scene in the audience to draw the attention off you.”
Jimin snorts, holding his hand to his mouth to hide his giggles. “And how will you do that?”
“It will either involve starting a fight or nudity… I’ll decide when the moment arises,” Jeongguk grins mischievously.
Jimin can’t hold back his laughter, almost toppling off his chair, his eyes turning into little half moons. Jeongguk feels relief wash over him seeing Jimin finally smiling again.
“Well,” Jimin says, taking the speech that Jeongguk hands back to him, glancing down at the words, and then back up at Jeongguk. “I’ll think about it, ‘speaking myself’… but, I just- I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Why?”
“It needs to be perfect, you know? This,” he gestures at his forehead, “my whirlwind mind. It’s far from what a top actor should be. I need to be perfect.”
“You are perfect just as you are, hyung” Jeongguk says softly, so only Jimin can hear. Jimin’s eyes flicker over Jeongguk’s face, an unreadable emotion behind them. He opens his mouth to say something when Hoseok walks over with his suit.
“Ready to get this show on the road?” he asks Jimin. Jimin takes a breath, his eyes locking with Jeongguk’s.
“I’m ready.”
———
After flashing his press pass, Jeongguk makes his way into the area in front of the red carpet exclusively for the media, slipping as close to the front as he can so hopefully Jimin will be able to see him. The award show is already well under way, different actors and celebrities making their way one at a time down the red carpet, smiling and posing for the cameras while the press call their names, fighting to get the best shot.
Some actors receive more screams than others, but nothing could prepare Jeongguk for the roar that hits his ears when Jimin finally steps out onto the red carpet, nor the way the area lights up with camera flashes, the brightness almost blinding. Jimin’s presence causes a shift in the air. There’s a hum of excitement running through the crowd as all eyes fall on him. His blonde hair is styled over to one side, subtle smoky makeup dusting his eyes, a sleek designer suit hugging his body just right. Hats off to Hoseok because Jeongguk just felt his jaw drop to the floor.
He feels the press surge forward slightly, cameras in the air as they try to get the Park Jimin’s photo. The screams of the fans are almost deafening. There must be thousands of people here, and they all seem to be here for Jimin.
Jimin walks the red carpet alone, his chin held high with that strong aura and intimidating elegance that only Jimin possesses. He looks flawless, his phoenix eyes drawn into a piercing gaze. Looking at him now, Jeongguk sees the same Park Jimin that had walked into Park Young-Hee’s office on the first day they’d met. He oozes strength and power. It’s a completely different Jimin to the one that Jeongguk has come to know over the past few weeks.
That’s when he realises… it’s not that Jimin has changed as Jeongguk has gotten to know him. He’s been the same sweet, shy, gentle and kind person all along. The intimidating actor who walks in front of him now is just the persona Jimin puts on to protect himself.
Jimin stops on the small ‘x’ marked out on the carpet in front of the press, and poses for the cameras. He can see Jimin’s chest move slowly as he controls his breathing, and he can see his hands twitch as he fights the urge to ball them into fists. His smile is tight lipped, and to anyone else looking it may even come across as arrogant. But Jeongguk can see that it’s the result of Jimin doing all he can do to keep himself calm.
Jimin’s eyes flitter across the press pit, squinting against the barrage of flashes. He stops when he finally finds Jeongguk in the crowd, eyes lighting up. Jeongguk smiles widely, waving a little too enthusiastically to look normal. Jimin’s stoic facade cracks and a smile slips through, a real, genuine smile directed right at him. For a moment it’s like the crowd around them disappear, and it’s just the two of them.
“Aigoooo Jimin-ssi, you look handsome as always!” The MC’s voice cuts through their moment, and Jimin’s expression shutters. He turns and makes his way over to where the MC waits. The interview is simple and unassuming, mentions of what designer Jimin is wearing, if he’s excited about being nominated for best actor. Jimin’s replies are courteous, the polite smile he always wears during interviews making an appearance. Once the interview is finished Jimin follows the directions from staff, disappearing out of view and into the venue.
Jeongguk turns and slips back out of the press pit, walking towards the general entrance of the venue. He’s only there for Jimin anyway. As he passes through the crowd, he hears the MC announce the arrival of Park Sunhi, Jimin’s mother and he can’t help but pause. She’s not even nominated for an award but it looks like somehow she has gotten herself on to the red carpet, even appearing as one of the last, and therefore most important guests.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, happy that Jimin has already disappeared inside, and doesn’t have to witness her sickeningly sweet fake smile as she soaks in all the attention she craves from the public. It’s so funny to think that she is Jimin’s mother, and yet they are complete opposites. Jeongguk hopes that Jimin won’t bump into her this evening, and that the night will go smoothly.
———
Jeongguk sits in a seat to the side of the stage with other members of the press, along with a few photographers with their heavy cameras on tripods. He’s not too far from the stage, just to the left of where the nominees are sitting. He can see Jimin clearly, sitting towards the front, one leg folded neatly over the other with his hands clasped in his lap. He watches the stage intently, clapping after each award is accepted.
Jeongguk had managed to get his attention when he’d first sat down, waving when Jimin had briefly glanced over in his direction. Since then Jimin looks over regularly.
Taehyung and Seokjin are also sitting in the audience, just a little way back from Jimin. Seokjin has already won an award for ‘best supporting role’ and coincidentally it was Taehyung who had presented that category. The pair of them had remained professional, but Jeongguk could see that Taehyung was struggling not to goof around, a mischievous look on his face as he handed Seokjin the award.
The evening goes by smoothly, actors and directors filing up on stage to collect their awards and give their gracious speeches, before returning to their seats with proud smiles.
Jimin’s category is the last one of the night, and by the time it comes around Jeongguk’s stomach is doing backflips. He leans forward in his chair, tapping his feet nervously as the presenters draw out their part to create suspense. When Jimin’s name is finally announced as the winner Jeongguk is up out of his seat, cheering and clapping excitedly. He whistles as loud as he can which draws some disgruntled looks from the press sitting in front of him, but that just makes him do it louder.
Jimin appears on the big screen, a sweet and genuinely surprised smile lighting up his face as he stands up and straightens out his suit, bowing to those around him who are all applauding. He makes his way carefully up the steps onto the stage.
Jeongguk can see him take a deep breath and approach the podium as the actress who presented the award steps to the side and offers the award for him to take. Jimin seems so focused on getting to the microphone that he forgets to take the award. Only when the actress holds it out in front of him does he realise, taking it with a polite bow before moving hesitantly to stand in front of the microphone, facing the audience.
Jimin is used to being in front of cameras, and small audiences in appearances on television shows, but there are thousands of people in the arena right now, and Jeongguk has seen first hand what Jimin can be like with crowds, especially when he feels like everyone is waiting for him to slip up.
Jeongguk can feel Jimin’s nerves from where he sits. He watches with held breath as Jimin looks down at the microphone, then up at the audience and opens his mouth to speak.
“Ah, everyone…” he says before his voice trails off to nothing. Suddenly he looks over to the section where Jeongguk is seated, eyes searching. The lights are bright, and Jimin squints, seemingly unable to make out where Jeongguk is. It’s only been a few seconds, but the moment drags on for Jeongguk, his throat bobbing and heart aching as he watches Jimin look to him for comfort and support. The crowd is silent, waiting. Jimin is even more silent, voice caught in his throat. Suddenly Jeongguk is on his feet.
“Jimin-hyung!”
Jimin’s wide eyes snap over in his direction.
Jeongguk isn’t sure what Jimin needs to hear in this moment. Maybe he just wants to know Jeongguk is there, that he is on his side, even when everyone else is waiting to see him fall. So he shouts out the very thing he had joked about writing on a banner the other day.
“Park Jimin! Fighting!”
The audience starts to murmur, some laughing, some disgruntled groans. Jeongguk doesn’t care, all he cares about is the beautiful smile that lights up Jimin’s face.
Suddenly Taehyung’s voice bursts from the crowd. “Jimin-ah! I love you!” Jeongguk looks over to see him being tugged back into his seat by his management, a mischievous smile plastered on his face as he giggles. Jimin’s smile broadens even more, his shoulders relaxing.
“Park Jimin, you’re the best!” Jeongguk is surprised to hear Seokjin join in too, hands cupped around his mouth to amplify his voice towards where Jimin stands on the stage.
Jimin laughs, his eyes curved into little half moons where he smiles so brightly. He clears his throat, and then leans in towards the microphone again. The audience waits. The cameras focus on him.
“Um,” his voice reverberates around the venue, “I had a long acceptance speech written out for me to read. It had a lot of names on it, but, uh… it looks like I’ve misplaced it,” he pats at his pockets pretending to search for it, and smiles. “But someone said something to me earlier today which has been turning over and over in my mind ever since. He said that instead of reading out a speech written by someone else, maybe for once I should just speak myself.”
Jimin chuckles lightly. “Well, I have no idea how to do that, to be honest. Since I was born, all I’ve ever done is say what others wanted to hear, read the scripts given to me, and repeat the same statements written by my management over and over again. So, I’m sorry to my friend,” Jimin looks in Jeongguk’s direction again with a smile, “I might not be able to properly ‘speak myself’ at this very moment in front of all of you. I think it will take a long time for me to learn to do that.”
He takes a breath, tightening his hold around the golden award in his hands. “But what I can do, is tell you all what I am truly thankful for, in relation to this award.” He holds up the award. “Firstly, I’m thankful to the director Hwang Geonwon, who was so patient with me, even when I asked to film the same scenes over and over almost obsessively. I’m thankful for every single member of the crew and staff who work ridiculous hours to get these dramas filmed. They were there before I even arrived in the morning, and were there long after I left. You are truly the heart of the industry, don’t ever forget that.”
He looks out at the packed arena. “I’m thankful to all my fans who always stick by me, and have supported me through the ups and downs. I wouldn’t be where I am now without you, so thank you.” He makes a finger heart to the audience and the fans cheer in response.
“I’m thankful to my grandmother for always being on my side and showing me unconditional love and support. Halmeoni, thank you for everything, I love you.”
“Lastly, I want to thank my friends.” He takes a breath. “I really struggle sometimes. Sometimes I feel really low. Sometimes I feel lost, and empty. But my friends are always there for me when I need them. When I fall, they’re always there to pull me back up. They really are like the family I always needed, so yeah, I might not say it as often as I should but I am truly grateful for each and every one of you, and I feel very lucky to have you in my life.” Jimin looks in the direction on Taehyung and Seokjin, before his eyes find Jeongguk’s again. He smiles warmly before turning back towards the audience.
“Thank you everyone for this award. I’m always so amazed that people appreciate what I do, and I’ll always look back on this chapter of my life as a huge learning experience. Thank you to everyone who has watched me for good reasons, instead of the bad.” He lifts up his award, “thank you!”
The crowd applauds and Jimin bows and smiles. Taehyung is almost on top of his table, grappling with his management. Seokjin is on his feet clapping. Jeongguk cheers and blows an extremely loud and inappropriate wolf whistle which draws more angry looks from the press filming quietly around him.
When Jimin leaves the stage the ceremony draws to a close. People start to leave the arena and Jeongguk slowly makes his way through the crowd to the backstage area again. The security let him pass, and he traces his steps back towards Jimin’s dressing room.
When he gets there the door is open, the room buzzing with excited staff members chattering as they pack everything away. Jimin has already changed out of his suit into his comfy clothes, pulling on an oversized purple hoodie before grabbing his bag. He sees Jeongguk approaching in the mirror and turns to him with a warm smile.
“Park Jimin, fighting?” he says, raising an eyebrow as he walks towards Jeongguk, “I can’t believe you did that in front of literally thousands of people.”
“It made you feel less nervous though, didn’t it?” Jeongguk grins.
“It did,” Jimin agrees with a beaming smile, his eyes turning into half moons.
“Anyway, I wasn’t the only one shouting. As I recall you have two other friends who joined in.”
“Oh, I heard them,” Jimin laughs, “you guys… I can’t believe you did that.”
Jeongguk chuckles, stepping to the side to let a staff member pass, pulling Jimin with him. “Your speech was amazing hyung.”
Jimin smiles and ducks his head, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “Thank you Jeongguk-ah. I can’t believe I actually did it.” He looks up at Jeongguk with a genuineness in his eyes. “I don’t think I would have had the guts to do it without you though… so thank you.”
Jeongguk shakes his head, smiling fondly. “That was all you hyung. You did that. How do you feel?”
Jimin takes a breath. “I feel good. Really good actually. It felt really good to say how I felt for once. Honestly though, I’m just glad I didn’t screw up too badly on stage. Did you see how I forgot to take the award at first? Total shit show.”
“Honestly hyung, no one noticed.”
“Oh, people noticed. But this time, I don’t really care.”
“I’m sure they were too distracted by Taehyung being tackled by his manager as he tried to get up on the table.”
Jimin’s eyes widen. “He didn’t!”
“He did.”
“Oh my god,” Jimin brings a sweater paw up to his face, “Tae will forever be a liability.”
They laugh as Hoseok appears next to them. “Jeongguk-ah! I heard you from backstage! Good job! It made things much more interesting. We should all terrorise award shows from now on.”
Jimin laughs, “oh god. Yes please.”
Jeongguk raises his eyebrows, “oh you’d like that, hm?”
“I would,” Jimin nods up at him, still giggling. Suddenly his eyes flicker over Jeongguk’s shoulder and he stiffens. All the laughter seeps from his body, and his expression shutters as he quickly steps away from Jeongguk.
“Mother…”
Jeongguk turns to see Park Sunhi standing in the doorway with a tight smile glued to her face.
“Jimin,” she greets in an apathetic tone, almost like she is talking to a stranger. She walks towards them, glancing around the dressing room disapprovingly before stopping in front of Jimin. “I suppose congratulations are in order. Another shiny award to add to your repertoire. Though one would think that by now you’d have learned to be at least a little bit grateful towards the people responsible for your entire career.” She crosses her arms, and raises an eyebrow, waiting for a response.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jimin snaps, his body stiff, hands balled into fists at his sides.
“Your speech, if you can even call it that,” Sunhi scoffs, “I mean, what the hell were you thinking Jimin? Did you just walk onto the stage and spew whatever nonsense came into your head? I thought I’d taught you better than that.”
Jimin tenses, his eyes falling away from his mother to focus somewhere on the floor by her feet. Jeongguk feels a sudden surge of protectiveness wash over him.
“His speech was great,” Jeongguk hears himself say. He’s never shied away from confrontation, and this woman doesn’t scare him the way she does Jimin. “I don’t see what was wrong with it. The crowd applauded at the end, did they not?”
“This is one of the biggest award ceremonies in Korea, Jeongguk-ssi,” she snaps, turning her piercing gaze onto him. “It isn’t a place to be saying whatever rubbish comes to your mind like you’re waiting at a public bus stop. And it certainly isn’t some idol concert to be whistling and shouting things out at like some crazed fan-boy. I would have thought you were better than that, but apparently you aren’t as professional as your reputation would suggest.”
Jeongguk raises his eyebrows, a retort ready on his tongue, but he is cut off by Park Sunhi turning her wrath onto Jimin’s manager.
“You,” she growls, pointing at the man, “I put you in charge of this boy for a reason. What the hell was this mess? How could you let him embarrass me again?”
“I-” he stutters, “h-he was given a pre-prepared speech like always, Sunhi-ssi, but he didn’t use it…”
Sunhi turns her fierce gaze back to Jimin again and Jeongguk sees him cower. “So you just chose to be completely disrespectful? You though it below you to thank any of the company directors, your sponsors, your management… and what about your father and I? Not a single word of thanks to us? To me?”
“Why would I thank you?” Jimin says, voice trembling in anger, “w-what have you ever done for me?”
“What have I ever done for you?” Sunhi asks incredulously, “I’ve done everything! The only reason you even have a career is because of me! You are who you are because of me Park Jimin!”
Jimin finally snaps.
“I never wanted any of this!” he shouts, his body trembling. The room falls silent, and Sunhi takes a step back, not used to Jimin speaking to her like this.
“Y-you,” his voice wavers a little as he pins his mother down with a menacing glare, “you made me who I am, but I never asked for any of this! I never wanted this life! You forced me into it! All I ever wanted to do was make you and father proud, but it doesn’t matter how many dramas I do, or how many awards I win, you’ll never be satisfied and I-” he takes a shuddering breath, his eyes turning glassy, “I’m so fucking tired, mother. I’m just…so tired, all the time.”
Jeongguk wants to reach out to Jimin, but no one is moving. It’s so silent. If he listened carefully enough, maybe he would hear the last of Jimin’s hope of any relationship with his parents crumble.
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m done.” Jimin’s voice comes out only a shaky whisper. “I quit.”
“You quit?” Sunhi laughs incredulously, looking over at Jimin’s manager, and then back to Jimin. “What do you mean you quit? What exactly are you quitting?”
“Everything. I quit this shit-show of a life you’ve forced onto me.” Jimin glares at his mother before turning to Jeongguk, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Jeongguk nods in understanding. “Let’s go, hm?” he says in a low voice as Jimin’s mother explodes into a screeching fit. Jimin just nods, looking exhausted.
“You can’t just quit this life Jimin! That’s not how it works! You have a contract! And sponsors! And commitments! You can’t just walk away from it all!”
“Watch me,” Jimin spits as he turns and marches towards the door with Jeongguk and Hoseok following close behind. The small crowd of staff that had gathered part to let them through. “This way,” Jeongguk says as they leave the dressing room, guiding Jimin in the direction of the private underground parking lot. The three of them walk quickly through the corridors and down a set of stairs into the parking lot, which is deserted much to Jeongguk’s relief. No one seems to have followed them either.
“Oh Jiminie,” Hoseok says, voice thick with emotion as he pulls Jimin into his arms, “I’m so sorry.”
“Hyung don’t listen to a single fucking word that woman says, okay?” Jeongguk says, as Jimin looks up at him through damp eyelashes. “It’s all bullshit. Your speech was amazing… you were amazing.”
“I don’t feel very amazing right now,” Jimin says defeatedly.
“Jiminie that was one of the bravest fucking things I’ve ever seen,” Hoseok says, stroking Jimin’s hair. “You should be proud of yourself.”
Jimin shrugs. “I am, I just- I don’t want to think about it right now. I just want to get out of here.”
“Do you want me to drive you?” Jeongguk asks softly, and Jimin nods.
“Chin up okay?” Hoseok says, giving Jimin one last hug, “everything will be fine.” Jimin nods and Hoseok smiles, before turning to Jeongguk, “I need to go back and finish packing up my stuff. Take care of him please?” Jeongguk nods and Hoseok bids them farewell, walking back through the doors towards the arena.
Jeongguk wastes no time in directing Jimin to his black Mercedes which is parked in the far corner. He unlocks the car, opening the passenger side door for Jimin who thanks him meekly as he climbs inside. Jeongguk closes the door gently behind him and makes his way around to the drivers side, sliding into his seat behind the wheel. He turns to face Jimin, but before he can get a word out Jimin curls forward in his seat with his face in his hands, and burst into tears.
Jeongguk freezes for a moment, unsure of what to do before he reaches out tentatively and strokes Jimin’s back, whispering words of comfort to try and soothe him.
“Hey, it’s okay, shh, you’re okay…”
Jimin seems to melt into the touch, his sobs slowly quieting down, but he remains curled up in his chair as Jeongguk continues stroking his back softly.
It hurts to see Jimin hurting. He doesn’t deserve any of the shit he’s been put through. Forced into a career which has caused him nothing but anxiety and stress. Smear campaigns about him every other week just because people are bored and want drama. Constantly trying to live up to his mothers unreachable expectations, and feeling like less of a person because he isn’t able to reach them.
Jeongguk’s heart aches for him. It’s another sobering reminder that celebrities are not super-human. They’re just normal people who struggle like everyone else.
After a minute or two Jimin sits up, wiping his face with his sweater paws. “God, I’m so sorry,” he sniffs, “I keep doing this to you.”
“Hey,” Jeongguk says, stroking Jimin’s arm reassuringly, “you have nothing to be sorry about, okay? This will always be a safe space for you.”
Jimin manages a small watery smile. “Thank you,” he says softly, wiping his face again with his sleeves.
“Do you- do you want to talk about it?” Jeongguk asks hesitantly, but jimin shakes his head.
“Not right now.”
Jeongguk nods. “Okay. Do you want me to take you home?”
Jimin shakes his head again. “I don’t- I don’t want to go home either. I just…” he sighs deeply, staring down at his lap, “I just want to disappear.”
They sit in silence for a moment as the cogs in Jeongguk’s brain turn. He has an idea… a slightly crazy idea, but right now it just feels right.
“Do you, uh- do you maybe fancy a little road trip?” he asks tentatively. Jimin turns his head to look at him, his face slightly red and puffy, and Jeongguk is filled with an all-consuming need to pull Jimin into his arms and never let him go.
“What?” Jimin asks sounding a little confused.
“A road trip,” Jeongguk repeats, chewing on his bottom lip, “I know its might sound a bit crazy, and it’s kind of spontaneous… but there’s somewhere I always go when I need to get away.”
Jimin turns in his seat to face Jeongguk, leaning his head against the headrest. “You mean your happy place? The view point we went to last time?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “It’s a little further than that. Well quite a lot further actually,” he mumbles as Jimin tilts his head in question, “but it’s the perfect place to disappear. I think you’d really like it.”
“Where is it?” Jimin asks curiously.
“Well… it’s a surprise,” Jeongguk says playfully, suddenly feeling nervous when Jimin’s eyes widen slightly. “I mean, uh, I-I want it to be a surprise, for you, a good one, you just have to trust me...”
“I trust you,” Jimin says without hesitation, and Jeongguk feels his heart swell.
“So, what do you say?” he asks, his heart beating fast as he anticipates Jimin’s answer. “Fancy a spontaneous, mystery midnight road trip with your favourite journalist? I’ll even let you be the DJ.”
Jimin laughs for the first time since they’d left the dressing room. “Okay,” he says easily.
Jeongguk’s eyes widen. “Huh? Okay?”
Jimin nods. “Okay.”
Jeongguk sits there for a moment, a little shell shocked. Obviously he was the one who suggested it, but he didn’t think Jimin would actually say yes.
“O-okay. Okay. Right, uh, let’s go!” he says, trying not to show how flustered he’s suddenly feeling. He fastens his seatbelt and starts the car, reversing out of the parking space as Jimin pulls his own seatbelt on. Jimin instinctively sinks lower in his seat as they exit the parking lot, tugging up his hood as they drive past the huge crowds outside the venue. He relaxes slightly as they turn onto the main road, leaving the arena behind.
It’s almost midnight, the sky is black, and the car fills with the red glow of taillights as Jeongguk merges onto the main highway out of the city. He has done this journey so many times he doesn’t need any navigation. Instead he lets the radio gently play as Jimin pulls down his hood and shifts to get comfortable in his seat, leaning his head against the window.
After a few minutes Jimin takes out his phone, tapping it a few times before bringing it to his ear. “Hobi-hyung? Yeah… yeah I’m fine, don’t worry. Uh, listen…I’m, um— I’m going to get away from the city for a bit… with Jeongguk. I just need to clear my head. But I’m fine, and I’ll message you to keep you updated. Where are we going? … I’m not sure actually,” Jimin glances up at Jeongguk with a smile, bringing his thumb to his mouth to chew on his nail. “It’s a surprise. Yes, very unlike me, I know. Maybe I’ve finally lost the last of my sanity. Okay… yeah…I will. See you soon, hyung.”
Jimin hangs up the phone and lays back in his chair with a sigh, gazing up at the night sky through the window. They fall into a comfortable silence, Jimin seeming to need some time to himself.
Jeongguk carefully shrugs off his suit jacket and pulls off his tie, loosening the buttons of his shirt and dragging his hand through his hair to brush out the style. He presses a button beside him which rolls down both of their windows, a warm breeze whipping around the car as the city falls away and the open road stretches out ahead of them.
After a while Jimin speaks.
“I’ve always wanted to do that, you know…”
“Do what?”
“Quit. Leave it all behind, that whole life, if you can even call it that. Some life,” he scoffs. “I’ve never done a single thing for myself.” He takes a deep breath, turning to look at Jeongguk, his hair blowing in the breeze from the window. “I felt like I was slowing suffocating, you know? Like I was trapped in this net my mother had wound around me, and it would just keep choking me every damn day until there was nothing left.”
Jeongguk nods, listening as Jimin gets everything off his chest.
“I just felt like there was no escape. But then, you came along…” Jimin smiles fondly, “and you showed me that how I feel does matter. I’ll never forget that photoshoot you know, where they put me in that ridiculous outfit and you stood up for me. You showed me that I do have a choice. That I don’t owe anyone anything. I didn’t realise how much I was hurting myself to please everyone else. I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to wake up and dread looking at my phone every morning. I don’t want my anxiety to threaten to swallow me every time I step out of my front door. I just want to be happy. I deserve to be happy.”
“Of course you do hyung.”
“And I just want to be myself for once.”
“Well, this is a perfect first step. I promise you that no one will bother you, or even recognise you where we are going. So just be unapologetically you hyung. Don’t hold back.”
Jimin chuckles, running his hand through his windswept hair, long fallen out of its sleek style from the award show. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot.”
“Why have you put down the windows when you have air-conditioning?” Jimin kicks off his shoes and crosses his legs under him on the seat.
“Because we’re on a road trip” Jeongguk counters, “and it is an unspoken rule to have all windows down on any road trip.”
“Even if it’s cold?”
“No matter the weather,” Jeongguk asserts.
“Even if it’s raining?”
“Have you ever stuck your head out of a moving car while it’s raining?”
Jimin shakes his head.
“It’s refreshing as hell. Also depending on the speed of the vehicle- extremely painful.”
Jimin giggles, pulling off his hoodie so he’s just in a loose white t-shirt, his soft blonde hair blowing loosely across his cheekbones. “Well now I’m curious.”
“Do it hyung,” Jeongguk gestures towards the passenger side window, “you won’t regret it. Well, I mean you might… but just do it anyway.”
Jimin looks at the window, and back at Jeongguk. A mischievous grin spreads on his face and suddenly his hands rest on the door frame and he’s leaning head and shoulders out of the window. Jeongguk hears him shout, blonde hair forced back as his eyes squeeze shut against the strong wind. After a few seconds he falls back into his seat, chest heaving as he laughs, like all his worries and anxieties have been blown away with the wind.
“Oh my god! That was intense!”
“Right?!” Jeongguk laughs, “the fact you did it at this speed is hardcore.”
“I think I swallowed several bugs.”
“Felt good though right?”
Jimin nods, his breathing calming down as he relaxes back into his seat. “Feels like my body got rebooted. I hope it rains soon so I can try that too. I want to experience the pain.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “Bit of a masochist are we?”
Jimin grins mischievously, biting his bottom lip. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
Jeongguk half laughs and half chokes and Jimin bursts out laughing, seeming to enjoy making Jeongguk flustered.
For every mile they travel away from the city, Jeongguk can see Jimin relax more and more. He lounges in his seat with his hand out of the open window, letting the wind wrap around his fingers. When Jeongguk slips him the aux cord Jimin’s eyes light up. He takes it excitedly and starts to play his favourite songs. Jeongguk is pleasantly surprised by their similar music taste and the pair of them sing song after song as they leave Seoul far behind them.
The further into the journey they get, the more energy Jimin seems to get, until he’s practically buzzing with playful excitement. It’s a side of Jimin that Jeongguk hasn’t seen before, not directed towards him, anyway. So when Jimin starts to rummage through the glove compartment, pulling out an old baseball cap and pair of sunglasses, slipping the sunglasses onto his own face before leaning over to put the hat on Jeongguk’s head, he can’t help but be caught in Jimin’s tide.
“Can you even see anything?” he laughs as Jimin pushes the sunglasses further up the bridge of his nose.
“Not a damn thing,” Jimin giggles as his hair is whipped up by the wind again. Jeongguk takes the hat off his head and leans across to place it onto Jimin’s, who smiles as he reaches up and tugs on the brim. Jimin then takes off the sunglasses and leans over to place them on top of Jeongguk’s head like a head-band.
“Your hair has gotten so long,” he says, pushing the glasses back slightly to hold Jeongguk’s now almost shoulder length hair in place.
“Ah yeah, I’ve been meaning to get it trimmed but I haven’t got around to it. Maybe because a certain someone has been taking up all my time,” he teases, throwing Jimin a cheeky grin.
Jimin smiles smugly, reaching out to curl a strand of Jeongguk’s hair around his finger. “Don’t cut it, I like it like this.” The action has Jeongguk’s stomach doing that fluttering thing it keeps doing every time he’s with Jimin.
After driving for around two hours Jeongguk spots a sign for a rest stop. “Are you hungry?” he asks, and Jimin nods. “Good, because we are about to pig out big time.” He takes the next exit off the highway and pulls into the small rest stop set in the middle of nowhere. It’s past 2am, and the rest stop is practically empty at this time in the morning, with only a handful of trucks dotted sparsely around the parking lot.
“Have you ever had rest stop food before?” Jeongguk asks as he parks the car in the centre of the parking lot, and turns off the engine.
“No,” Jimin replies, looking at the services with curiosity, “I’ve never been to a rest stop. There doesn’t look like there’s much here…”
“Oh, you’re in for a surprise, hyung,” Jeongguk says, removing the sunglasses from his head and ruffling his hair, “there’s food at these rest stops that you can’t get anywhere else in Korea.”
“Really?”
Jeongguk nods. “It’s like a whole other world. Come on, let’s go check it out.”
The pair exit the car, gravitating towards each other as they cross the parking lot towards the bright lights of the services which are still open for business even at this hour.
“Wow, it’s deserted,” Jimin says, and Jeongguk suddenly realises that Jimin doesn’t have a mask on. He’s still wearing Jeongguk’s cap, his messy blonde hair sticking out around the edges, but this is the first time he’s seen Jimin willingly expose his face in public.
Jimin notices him staring, and gives him a questioning look. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jeongguk smiles, bumping Jimin’s shoulder playfully with his. Jimin bumps him back a little harder, so Jeongguk shoves him, and before he knows it they end up in a playful scuffle with Jimin looped around his back trying to climb him like a tree. Jeongguk seizes the opportunity and quickly crouches down, hooking his arms under Jimin’s knees and hitching him up into a piggy back. Jimin yelps in surprise, but then practically melts, arms looping around Jeongguk’s neck.
Jeongguk spins around a few times and then sets off in a run, Jimin’s giggles echoing around the parking lot as he holds on for dear life until Jeongguk finally places him down in front of a food stall filled with delicious looking fried foods. The ajumma running the stall looks at them with confusion, but her eyes also hold a fondness.
“Pick whatever you want. I recommend everything. It’s all delicious.” The image of Jimin picking at his tiny salad flashes through Jeongguk’s mind. “There’s no diets here,” he quickly adds, “it’s time to pig out as much as you want.”
Jimin looks through the glass at the selection of food. “Well, if that’s the case, then we’ve got to get one of everything, right?”
“I was thinking the exact same thing,” Jeongguk grins proudly.
They pay for the food and carry their feast to a nearby picnic table, spreading it out on the table top. It’s a lot of food, but Jeongguk has faith that him and Jimin can take it all down.
“Wow,” Jimin says as he sits down, “it all smells so good, but I don’t even know what half of it is.”
“Okay, so,” Jeongguk says excitedly, sitting down opposite Jimin and pointing at each item of food in front of them, “this is fried chicken on a stick. It’s so good. This here is toc toc hotdog, it’s basically a sausage wrapped in puff pastry with cheese powder sprinkled on top. This one is crispy fried squid. These are roast potatoes with sugar. This is an octopus tentacle skewer with a mayonnaise teriyaki sauce. This one is my favourite, a bacon and cheese corn dog. And for desert, walnut cakes, because you can’t come to a rest stop and not get walnut cakes.”
Jimin, laughs. “Okay, well you had me at fried chicken on a stick so hand that here.”
Jeongguk smiles as he watches Jimin eat with not a care in the world. His cheeks puff out like a hamster as he practically inhales half of the table. By the time they finish it all, Jimin looks completely satisfied.
“Wow, you were right, that was so good. I’m stuffed,” he groans, rubbing his stomach as Jeongguk opens a small bottle and takes a sip, grimacing at the taste. “What’s that?” Jimin asks?
“This,” Jeongguk says, holding up the small bottle, “is Bacchus. A rest stop necessity. This is what’s going to keep me awake for the next two hours of the drive. Want to try some.” He hands Jimin the bottle and watches him take a sip, laughing at the face he makes. “Yeah, it’s an acquired taste.”
“I’ll stick with water,” Jimin says, taking a mouthful from his bottle.
Jeongguk chuckles, downing the rest of the Bacchus. They sit in silence for a moment, taking in their surroundings. The early hours of the morning have a certain feeling to them, a stillness, like the air is different.
“You know, this is definitely going to be one of those situations where if I ever have any of this food in the future, I will automatically associate them with this memory, you know?” Jimin sighs happily, folding his leg up and resting his chin on his knee. “Nostalgia is a powerful thing.”
Jeongguk stands up and stretches out his back. He gathers up the trash and drops it into a nearby bin before walking back to Jimin. “Well, I for one would be honoured to be associated with a bacon covered corn dog.”
Jimin chuckles and shakes his head, standing up, “of course you would.”
The pair use the bathroom, and then decide to explore the empty services. Jimin stops to look at everything and anything, and Jeongguk can’t help but be completely enamoured by his childlike innocence and excitement. He is especially taken with a carved back scratcher and a rather garish patterned neck pillow. Jeongguk ends up with Jimin’s newly purchased pillow wrapped around his neck as Jimin pokes him playfully in the side with the back scratcher.
Once they get back into the car, Jeongguk plugs his phone into the aux and puts on a relaxing lo-fi playlist. As they set off again Jimin takes off his hat and curls up on the passenger seat as the gentle music fills the car. When he takes his phone out of his bag Jeongguk glances at him nervously. Maybe the road trip hasn’t been enough to distract Jimin from what happened. What if they’ve already written articles about it? Maybe he’s going to search his name on Naver.
But that’s not what happens. Instead Jeongguk sees Jimin turn off his phone and place it back in his bag before tossing it onto the back seat of the car. He takes a deep breath, curling up in his chair and closing his eyes. His breathing turns slow and steady after a while, and Jeongguk knows he’s sleeping by the way his head droops to the side. When the light from the streetlights catch his features, Jeongguk marvels at how peaceful he looks. Like a weight that has been crushing him is slowly being lifted off.
“Jimin-hyung?” Jeongguk says quietly, testing.
Jimin doesn’t reply, head lulling against the window frame.
“There’s literally a neck-pillow by your feet that you just purchased…” Jeongguk whispers.
Again no response.
Jeongguk chuckles, shaking his head, “You’re so fucking cute.”
———
Cheongsapo is a small but charming seaside town. It’s quiet on the busiest of days, so it’s no surprise that Jeongguk’s car is the only one on the road as they approach the town at almost 4am.
There’s one main road which runs parallel to the coastline leading to the town. As he drives closer, Jeongguk can see the harbour in the distance, the twinkling lights of the fishing vessels preparing for their early morning work acting like a welcome home beacon for him. He stops just short of the edge of town, tires crunching as he turns onto a small gravel track. Anyone else wouldn’t even know it was a road, but Jeongguk would know it blindfolded. When he reaches the end of the track he pulls the car to a stop and turns off the engine.
He removes his seatbelt, groaning as he stretches out his back and neck before pulling out his phone. His brother has always let Jeongguk use the boathouse whenever he wanted, rarely using it himself, but Jeongguk still likes to message him to let him know when he was going to be there. After sending the message, Jeongguk reaches over and shakes Jimin’s shoulder gently.
“Hyung, wake up.”
Jimin rouses slowly, blinking open his eyes. “Hmm?” he hums.
“We’re here.”
“We are?” he asks, his voice husky from sleep.
Jeongguk nods. “Welcome to Cheongsapo hyung…. my home town.”
Jimin sits up, suddenly more awake. He pushes open the door and steps out of the car, Jeongguk following after him. The sound of the sea is suddenly all around them, and Jimin’s footsteps crunch across the stones as he walks around the car and stops, staring out at the waves rolling against the shore. The full moon reflects off the water and the sky is filled with the twinkling of stars, more that you can ever dream of seeing in Seoul. The boathouse sits tucked amongst the rocks, it’s white wooden exterior almost glowing in the moonlight.
The warm sea breeze whips through Jimin’s hair and clothes as he takes in his surroundings.
“Wow…”
Jeongguk tucks his hands into his pockets, his own shirt blowing in the warm sea air, like it’s confused to see him dressed so formally. “You like it? he asks.”
“It’s beautiful. This is where you grew up?”
Jeongguk’s nods. “It’s late, let’s get some rest. I’ll show you around tomorrow. Well, technically today but you know, in the daytime.”
Jimin follows Jeongguk down to the boathouse, a small porch light flickering on as they walk up the creaky wooden steps to the door.
“This place is yours?” Jimin asks, looking around with wide eyes.
“Sort of,” Jeongguk says, reaching up and slipping the hidden spare key off the top of the door frame. Usually he has his own key, but this trip was spontaneous so he’s thankful his brother always leaves a spare one. The key alone is something foreign compared to Seoul where every apartment has a keycard or keypad entry.
“My older brother was given this boathouse by an old fisherman in town. It was a bit of a wreck but I helped him fix it up, so he said it could be both of ours, though I’m the one who uses it the most. I stay here when I need some time away from the city to clear my head.”
The sea weathered wooden door needs a bit of a kick to encourage it to open. It swings open to reveal worn wooden steps leading up to the second level. Jeongguk flicks a switch just inside the door which turns on an overhead light. An old piece of rope runs from the bottom of the stairs to the top like a sort of handrail, and an old anchor that Jeongguk had found washed up and thought was cool sits propped against the wall just inside the door.
“The space for the boats is on the ground level where the ramp leads straight to the water, and the upstairs is a sort of apartment.”
The wood creaks underfoot as Jimin follows Jeongguk up the stairs to the living space set in the eaves of the structure. A simple double bed sits under a round window at the front of the room, a small kitchenette in one corner and a even smaller bathroom at the back. It’s been painted white to brighten the space, warm string lights wrapping around the wooden ceiling beams, giving it a homely feel. There’s also a log burner, but as it’s June and the nights are growing more and more humid, there’s no need to light it.
“There’s a shower in the bathroom if you want to use it.” Jeongguk walks over to a dresser where he keeps a stash of spare clothes. “Do you, uh, want a change of clothes?” he asks hesitantly, holding out a clean t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He’s suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed that he’s offering his old worn out t-shirts and shorts to Park Jimin- fashion icon.
But Jimin nods instantly. “Yes please,” he says, walking over to take the clothes, hugging them to his chest. “Um, is it okay if I shower first?”
“Of course,” Jeongguk nods, “you go ahead, I’m going to organise a few things out here.” Jimin smiles before disappearing into the bathroom. Jeongguk spends a few minutes tidying up. He shakes out the blankets and fluffs the pillows, opening the window to let the warm sea breeze and the sound of the ocean float in.
Jeongguk hears the bathroom door open, but nothing could have prepared him for the sight of Jimin- the Park Jimin- standing in the middle of his boathouse with freshly washed hair, looking tired but content, wearing his old oversized t-shirt with a faded surf logo on the front. It feels like a fever dream that he’s going to to wake up from any minute… except it isn’t. Jimin is really here. Jimin came here with him. Jimin is wearing his t-shirt.
“You must be tired,” Jeongguk comments when he finally finds his voice. He gestures to the bed tucked under the window. “Make yourself comfortable. I’m going to wash up.”
Jimin nods, walking over to the bed as Jeongguk turns the main light off, leaving just the warm glow of the string lights. He walks to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. After a quick and much needed shower- trying not to think about the fact that Jimin had been in this very shower before him- he changes into an oversized t-shirt and shorts similar to the ones he gave Jimin. His damp hair hangs forward over his cheekbones, curling slightly at the ends. The warm salty sea air always brings out a natural wave in his hair which is lost when he’s in the city.
When he exits the bathroom the boathouse is silent apart from the sound of the waves outside. Jimin is curled up on the bed, a blanket tucked around him as he sleeps peacefully. Jeongguk yawns and stretches, walking over to a chair beside the bed and dropping into it. He picks up his phone from the table next to him and sees that his brother has replied with a thumbs up emoji to him staying in the boathouse. He must be preparing for an early morning on the fishing trawler in the main harbour, hence why he has replied at such an hour.
“Jeongguk-ah?” Jimin croaks, and Jeongguk looks over to see Jimin has lifted his head and is looking at him, “what are you doing?”
“Oh, I’m just messaging my brother… sorry if I woke you. You should sleep more.”
“You need to sleep too…” Jimin replies with a frown, “you’ve driven all night.” He shuffles over and pats the bed beside him, “come, sleep.”
Jeongguk hesitates, feeling his pulse quicken. “A-are you sure?”
Jimin smiles sleepily. “There’s nowhere else to sleep, Jeongguk-ah. And despite what the media likes to say about me, I’m not a predator. You don’t have to worry about me jumping you in your sleep.”
Jeongguk puts down his phone and walks over to the bed, sitting down on the edge, the mattress springs creaking slightly. “That’s not it, hyung,” Jeongguk stresses, “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He reaches out and brushes a strand of hair off Jimin’s forehead, “please don’t talk about yourself like that.”
Jimin’s eyes fall closed at the touch, a soft smile tugging at his lips. “You could never make me feel uncomfortable Jeongguk-ah,” he mumbles sleepily as Jeongguk lays down beside him. “If anything I’ve never felt more comfortable. Thank you for bringing me here.” He starts to drift back to sleep, and Jeongguk has to strain to hear him speak. “I feel like I’ve left actor Park Jimin behind, and now I can just be Jimin. I don’t think I can remember a time I was ever allowed to be just… Jimin.”
Jimin’s words trail off and his breathing evens out as he falls asleep. Jeongguk reaches out and brushes Jimin’s hair back from his face, gently tugging the blanket up around his shoulders.
“Goodnight just Jimin.”
———
The shrill cry of a seagull drags Jeongguk from his sleep. He squints his eyes, opening them slowly against the bright sunlight which filters through the open window above. He wonders what time it is. He moves to sit up but is stopped by a weight on his chest.
Soft hair brushes his chin as he looks down and finds Jimin’s head resting on his chest, still fast asleep. His own hands are tangled in the fabric of Jimin’s t-shirt, and Jimin’s arm is draped comfortably around his waist, their legs tangle together under the blankets. It seems that them gravitating together wherever they are also happens when they’re sharing a bed.
Jimin looks so unguarded in his sleep, his beautiful soft features relaxed and peaceful, his natural scent mixing with the sea breeze. He stirs against Jeongguk’s chest, adjusting slightly, and Jeongguk expects him to wake up, but he doesn’t. He remains asleep, and Jeongguk doesn’t dare wake him. Instead he draws gentle circles on Jimin’s back as he tries to control his racing heart.
It feels so right, having Jimin in his arms like this, like he belongs there. The weight of him on Jeongguk’s chest is almost therapeutic, and he thinks then that if he could wake up like this every morning for the rest of his life he’d never need anything else.
After a while, Jimin stirs again, stretching a little as he wakes up. Jeongguk makes a snap decision and closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep so as to not embarrass Jimin who is still tangled around him. He feels Jimin move, and then lift his head before stilling. His weight lifts completely off him as he pulls away and shuffles back on the bed. Jeongguk keeps his eyes closed, feigning sleep, but he can only imagine the blush on Jimin’s cheeks right now.
What he doesn’t expect is the gentle touch of Jimin’s fingertips across his forehead, brushing a loose strand of hair back out of his face. Jimin’s fingers linger for a moment,
caressing softly along Jeongguk’s cheek bone before they disappear as he climbs off the bed. Jeongguk lies there for a moment, trying to calm his heart which is threatening to beat out of his chest. He hears the floorboards creak under Jimin’s weight as he walks across the room. The hinges of the old cabinet doors in the kitchen squeak as he searches through them.
Jeongguk takes that as his cue to open his eyes, finally stretching out his back and sitting up. “Good morning,” he mumbles as he looks over at Jimin. His clothes are crumpled from sleep and his blonde hair is sticking up as he peers into one of the cupboards above the sink.
Jimin startles at his voice, turning to look at him with a slightly skittish expression. “Oh, hi… sorry if I woke you. This place seems to creak a lot,” he says, twisting at the hem of his t-shirt.
“Yeah, it’s pretty old. And the salt in the air doesn’t help.” Jeongguk slips out of the bed and stands, walking over to where Jimin is. “I wouldn’t have it any other way though. This place has so much character.” He stops right in front of Jimin, barely any space between them and smiles down at him as he reaches around him to grab two mugs. “Perfection is boring. I think the most beautiful things are imperfect.”
Jimin ducks his head and smiles, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. “I wish more people felt like that.”
Jeongguk hums, suddenly feeling a strong urge to get his laptop out and open the article he’s been putting off writing. But now isn’t the time. Right now nothing else matters except Jimin. He fishes out a bag of coffee beans, and gesture for Jimin to pass him the grinder from the counter beside him.
“They might not think it right now hyung, but they will.”
———
Jeongguk notices that the salt in the air has added extra volume to Jimin’s hair too.
The pair stand on the jetty next to his brother’s boat which bobs happily on the water. It’s a warm sunny day, and luckily there’s barely any wind, so the sea is relatively calm. Still, Jimin chews on his bottom lip anxiously as Jeongguk helps him put on a life jacket.
“So this is really your first time on a boat?” Jeongguk asks, tightening the strap across Jimin’s chest. Jimin nods as Jeongguk bends down to untie the boat from its mooring. He hops easily onboard, and turns to Jimin who shifts nervously on his feet. “Don’t worry hyung, I grew up doing this. Give me your hand.” Jeongguk holds his hand out and Jimin doesn’t hesitate to reach for it, holding tight as he follows Jeongguk onto the boat. He staggers a little, hand clinging onto Jeongguk’s shirt as the boat moves beneath them.
“Here, sit down so you feel more comfortable,” Jeongguk says as he carefully walks Jimin to a seat just beside the steering wheel at the front of the boat, “and there’s less chance of you toppling overboard and becoming crab food.”
Jimin narrows his eyes. “Will you be teasing me throughout this entire boat ride?”
“Maybe,” Jeongguk grins mischievously, dodging Jimin’s playful punch, “your reactions are too cute not to.”
Once Jimin is sat down and holding onto the side of the boat he seems to relax, smiling up at Jeongguk who stands at the wheel. “This is crazy,” he says as Jeongguk’s starts the engine, “If you asked me yesterday what I’d be doing today, I definitely wouldn’t have said I’d be sitting on a fishing boat in Cheongsapo with Jeon Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk grins down at him and slowly pushes on the throttle. The engine sputters and water sloshes out of the exhaust at the back as the old boat moves forward.
“But I think this is one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time,” Jimin adds, eyes sparkling as he looks out at the expanse of blue stretching out in front of them. He looks so much more alive, the dark circles under his eyes faded and his skin glowing healthily.
Jeongguk steers them out of the harbour and into the open sea. Once out in open water he eases off the throttle and steps aside. “Here hyung,” he gestures for Jimin to come to the wheel, “you have a go at steering.”
Jimin stands up and walks to the wheel, holding onto it with both hands. “What do I do?”
Jeongguk steps up behind him, his chest pressed against Jimin’s back. “Put one hand on the throttle like this,” he says, gently taking one of Jimin’s hands and placing it on the throttle, “and steer with the other hand like this.” His hand closes over the top of Jimin’s, helping him slowly turn the wheel from left to right.
“Like this?” Jimin whispers, sounding a little breathless. He turns his head to look over his shoulder at Jeongguk, his eyes flickering down to Jeongguk’s lips. He’s so close. All Jeongguk needs to do is lean in…
Suddenly the boat jolts forward, sending them both stumbling backward, breaking the moment. “S-sorry,” Jimin stutters, looking flustered, “I lent on the stick thingy.”
“It’s okay,” Jeongguk says trying to pull himself together, “do you, uh, want to try again?”
Jimin nods, taking the wheel again. “Is this right?” he asks, pushing the throttle forward slightly while steering with the other hand.
“Yeah that’s great… you’re a natural hyung,” Jeongguk says, coming to stand beside him.
Jimin smiles up at him. “So where am I steering to?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “Anywhere you want. There’s a full tank of fuel, so we could just keep going if you wanted to.”
Jimin pushes the throttle further forward and the boat starts to accelerate faster. “If you say things like that you’ll really tempt me to stay out here forever,” he says over the roar of the engine, the wind blowing his blonde hair back off his face. “I’ll end up not wanting to go back to Seoul at all.”
“If you don’t want to go back, you don’t have to,” Jeongguk shrugs, “no one can make you do anything you don’t want to do hyung.”
Jimin doesn’t respond, steering the boat into the gentle swell of the waves. After a while he eases the boat to a stop and looks over at Jeongguk. “I want to finish the drama… the one I’m filming now. I’m not going to drop all my responsibilities like that. But after this drama is finished, I think… I think I want to retire from acting. I want a quiet life. I’ve always wanted a quiet life, it’s just never mattered what I wanted before.” Jimin looks out at the ocean, taking a deep breath of the sea air. “I just want to fade out of the limelight now. I don’t want that life anymore. I just want to do my own thing. Figure out what I really want.”
“I think that sounds great hyung,” Jeongguk says encouragingly and Jimin smiles.
“It’s so quiet out here,” he says looking out at the waves, “I can see why you love it so much.”
Jeongguk brushes his hair out of his face, feeling how it has been whipped up by the sea air, giving him those messy beach waves he tries to tame in the city. “You know, my grandmother used to say that our family have the sea inside us. She said that you can see it in our eyes when the light hits just right. Sometimes I wonder if it’s really true…”
He looks up to see Jimin looking at him curiously. “I think she’s right,” he says with a fond smile. “Looking at you now I can see that this is definitely your home.”
“They say home is where the heart is,” Jeongguk chirps.
“Your heart is here. I can see it.”
“What about yours?“ Jeongguk asks.
Jimin looks at him for a moment before gazing out at the horizon, lost in his own thoughts. “I don’t think I’ve found it yet. But I’m sure it’s somewhere. I know it’s somewhere,” he nods to himself, “I’ll know when I find it.”
After talking for a while longer Jeongguk takes the wheel again, and steers them back towards the shore. On the way he sees a buoy which belongs to his brother bobbing idly in the waves. He quickly points it out to Jimin. “See that yellow and green buoy there? That’s one of my family’s crab lines. Wanna check it out?”
“Okay.”
When they pull up next to the buoy, Jeongguk fishes out a hook and uses it to hook around the rope under the the surface of the water. Then he reaches down with his other hand and starts to pull it up.
“Is your brother okay with us messing with his line?”
Jeongguk nods. “Sometimes he drops a few odd crabbing baskets for personal use near the shore. Don’t worry. Our family mainly fishes larger deep-sea crabs, so he goes out a lot further for those. These will only be small ones.” Jeongguk grunts as he pulls up the rope. He feels a tug behind him, and looks over his shoulder to see Jimin pulling on the rope as well, helping him pull it up.
He finally hauls the basket onto the boat, chest heaving with the exertion. “I’ve been reading too many books, and not hauling enough fishing lines,” he says with a chuckle, “that’s what my dad always used to say to me. God, I’m exhausted.”
Jimin crouches down to peek inside the basket. “Oh, I see crabs!”
“Wanna hold one?” Jeongguk asks, crouching down next to Jimin.
“I can hold one?”
“Sure,” he says, reaching into the basket and grabbing a crab from behind, being careful of its claws. “Here, hold it at the back of the shell like this.”
Jimin giggles as he holds the crab which seems to be chilling happily in his hand. “Oh my god! Quick, get a picture! Hoseok will never believe I did this!” Jeongguk laughs and pulls out his phone, snapping a few pictures as Jimin poses with the crab.
“It’s actually kind of cute,” Jimin coos as he studies the crab with curiosity. Then with a glint of mischief in his eyes, he throws it back into the water with a plop. “Be free little crab!”
Jeongguk stands there with his mouth open. “Did you just throw away my catch?”
“It deserved to be free.”
“Don’t you eat crab?”
“I mean… yes,” Jimin pouts, “but that particular one vibed with me, so it earned it’s freedom.”
There was a moment of silence before Jeongguk bursts out laughing. “Okay, fine, but please don’t vibe with every crab you meet or we will have a problem seeing that it’s my families livelihood.”
Jeongguk throws the trap back into the sea, and it bubbles a few times as it sinks back down to the sea floor. The pair peek over the side of the boat and watch it as it disappears out of sight. Suddenly Jimin’s stomach lets out a grumble, and he looks away in embarrassment when he realised Jeongguk has heard it.
“Hungry?”
“Uh… yeah.”
“I know just the place.”
———
“See? I told you there was a plaque!” Jeongguk says proudly as the pair stand in front of his parents sea food restaurant. It’s a humble building, with red plastic chairs sitting around tables out front, and an interior which hasn’t changed in 40 years, but the rich aroma in the air is all you need to know to understand why this place still stands unchanged after all these years. There’s a reasons why it’s award winning.
“It smells amazing,” Jimin says as he follows Jeongguk through the door.
“Yah! Is that my Jeonggukie?!” a woman’s voice calls out in strong satori, and suddenly Jeongguk’s mother appears from the kitchen in a flurry. Jeongguk’s heart warms when he sees her. She’s always had a kind face, rosy cheeks, laughter lines, and hair as unruly as Jeongguk’s. She wraps him in a warm embrace.
“You didn’t tell us you were coming to visit! What a nice surprise. Yah, honey! Jeongguk is here!” she calls out, and Jeongguk’s father appears from out back. He’s a lot quieter than his wife, a hard worker who is a strong staple in their family. He smiles brightly as he walks over.
“Jeongguk-ah,” he says, embracing his son warmly, “have you eaten?”
Jeongguk shakes his head, then turns to see that Jimin is still hovering nervously by the door. He gestures for him to come over, and Jimin slowly walks toward them with a tight smile. Jeongguk can see that Jimin’s hands are bunched into those fists he always makes when he’s anxious, and Jeongguk itches to reach out and hold them.
“This is my friend Jimin from Seoul,” Jeongguk says, wrapping a comforting arm around Jimin’s shoulders and squeezing a little, “I’ve just taken him out on the boat.”
Both his parents look at Jimin with warm and welcoming smiles, and it’s quickly obvious that both of them have no idea who he is. Jeongguk can feel Jimin relax slightly.
“A city boy, eh?” Jeongguk’s father says, “how was the trip out to sea?”
“I really enjoyed it, sir,” Jimin quickly replies, “I can see why your family spends so much time out there.”
Jeongguk’s father smiles in response. “Are you both hungry?”
“We’re starving,” Jeongguk says, “and I’ve been raving to Jimin-hyung about our award winning crab for weeks now.”
“Well, if that’s the case I won’t disappoint!” Jeongguk’s mother says enthusiastically, rolling up her sleeves. “I won’t allow my son and his friend to have an empty stomach in my presence. Go, go!” she claps, “find somewhere to sit. I’ll bring you a bit of everything so that you can get a good idea of what we are famous for. We haven’t had lunch yet, so let’s all eat together.”
She swats at her husband, ushering him back to the kitchen with her to prepare the food, as Jimin bows to them to show his gratefulness. Once they disappear, Jeongguk keeps his arm looped around Jimin’s shoulder and steers him back towards the door.
“I’m going to see if they need any help. Why don’t you find a table outside?” He still remembers Jimin saying that he’d always wanted to sit out the front of a restaurant on plastic stools… what a perfect place to finally do it.
Jimin slips out of the door and Jeongguk watches through the glass shop front as he chooses a table and sits down. He isn’t wearing a mask, or a hat pulled low over his eyes like he usually would. He isn’t on edge, or looking around anxiously. Instead he looks comfortable and calm, gazing out at the sea as the summer breeze gently tousles his hair.
The restaurant is located in a row of shops along the seafront, and has a beautiful view of the harbour and it’s two lighthouses. Jeongguk has grown accustomed to this view, having seen it every day as a child, but as he watches Jimin take in his surroundings he realises that it must be quite beautiful to someone who hasn’t seen it before.
Jeongguk turns and goes to the kitchen to find his mother passionately piling huge amounts of crab and different shellfish into a pot of hearty stock. Seeing Jeongguk she hands it to him. “Take a stove to the table and start this cooking for me please.”
Jeongguk nods and carries the pot out to where Jimin is sitting, grabbing a portable table-top stove along the way. He places both onto the centre of the table and starts the flame up.
“This is so nice,” Jimin says with a beautiful smile, his eyes turning into little half moons, “I’ve always wanted to eat outside like this. And the view is beautiful.” He eyes the food in front of him. “I’m excited to try this award winning sea food you’ve raved so much about.”
“You won’t be disappointed,” Jeongguk replies, placing a lid over the pot as it starts to boil, the aroma filling the air around them. It’s a nostalgic smell which always makes Jeongguk feel like he’s been wrapped in a warm blanket.
About ten minutes later Jeongguk’s parents appear with plates of even more food, and his mother fills every square inch of the table with dishes and side dishes, before handing them each a freshly steamed bowl of rice.
“Thank you,” Jimin says quietly.
Jeongguk’s parents sit down noisily, nattering to each other non stop. They are definitely a stark contrast to the people in Seoul, the definition of ‘country bumpkins’, but Jeongguk wouldn’t change them for the world.
Jimin is nervous at the beginning, but Jeongguk’s parents quickly get him to relax with kind words and jokes. Jeongguk’s mother asks Jimin for any gossip that Jeongguk isn’t telling her. She even asks him if Jeongguk has a secret boyfriend which shocks Jimin, but she explains that Jeongguk came out to them a while ago and that they are supportive in whatever he chooses to do.
Jeongguk’s mother is insistent in getting Jimin to eat as much as possible, her love language being overfeeding anyone she deems lovable. Jimin gets over his initial shyness and is soon enjoying himself, a constant smile on his face as he looks back and forth between Jeongguk and his parents as they have a very loud and animated conversation which anyone in a mile radius could probably hear.
“Jimin dear, you are welcome back here any time,” his mother says as they walk back inside the restaurant, having finally finished their meal. She reaches up and cups Jimin’s face in her hands. “The city can be too much for some people. Everyone is always in a rush, and the pollution does nothing good for you. So make sure you let the sea air clear your lungs regularly, okay?”
Jimin nods as Jeongguk’s mother squeezes his face affectionately. “I will. I’ll definitely be back soon. Thank you both so much for your kindness, and the delicious meal.” He smiles and gives a small bow, then another one when Jeongguk’s father pats him on the shoulder affectionately. He then turns to Jeongguk. “I’m just going use the bathroom quickly,” he whispers.
Jeongguk nods, and Jimin disappears, leaving Jeongguk with his parents. Suddenly his mother is looking at him with a knowing smile. “What a sweet boy. I like him a lot. Very polite, and so handsome too!” She winks and nudges Jeongguk. “I’ve always worried about you, so far away in that big city, but I can see that you’re in good hands. We definitely approve. He’s a keeper.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he feels himself blush. He looks at his father who simply smiles and nods in agreement with his wife. “O-oh,” Jeongguk croaks out, “no, uh- we’re not- it’s not like that,” he stammers, though the voice in his head strongly disagrees with him… and strongly agrees with his mother.
He’s a keeper.
“Is that so?” his mother hums, grinning knowingly but not pushing it. She knows her son better than he knows himself after all. “Well, either way you can bring him back any time.”
When Jimin returns from the bathroom he’s dragged into a goodbye hug by Jeongguk’s mother. He stiffens in shock but then relaxes, hugging her back softly, his gentle laugh making Jeongguk’s heart do somersaults.
It’s late afternoon by the time they leave the restaurant, the golden hour sunlight sparkling on the water, and a warm sea breeze filling the air as Jeongguk takes Jimin on a leisurely stroll around the harbour.
“Your parents are so nice,” Jimin says, kicking a pebble along the ground. “I was so nervous when they asked us to eat with them. I’m used to family mealtimes being full of arguments and drama you know? But today was so nice- the food, and the company. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much food in one sitting before. Your mother… she really is something.”
“Her love language is feeding people,” Jeongguk laughs. “Did you enjoy the food?”
“It was amazing. Definitely the best seafood I’ve ever eaten.”
“I told you. The seafood in Seoul can’t compare to a fresh catch straight from the sea. You better make sure you always come back here for your seafood from now on. And my mother is right, the sea air really is good for the lungs.”
“Are you trying to bribe me into coming back?” Jimin asks, quirking an eyebrow.
“Maybe…” Jeongguk grins, “you did say you like it here.”
“I love it here,” Jimin replies without hesitation. “It’s so much calmer than Seoul, everyone seems to go at a much slower pace. And look,” he gestures at himself, “I’m walking around in fucking shorts and a t-shirt because no one has a clue who I am! Do you have any idea how amazing that is? I haven’t walked around freely like this since I was a kid. I feel so normal.”
“I wouldn’t call you normal,” Jeongguk teases and Jimin shoves him playfully, his mischievous smile back.
“I’ll race you to the lighthouse!” Jimin says, starting off down the pier without warning, the sliders Jeongguk had lent him almost flying off as he sprints away. Jeongguk stares after him in shock before he laughs, rolling his shoulders out.
“You’re going to regret that!” he shouts before dashing after Jimin. When he catches up, he can’t resist grabbing Jimin from behind and spinning him around, which results in a loud yelp and laughter from Jimin that echoes around the quiet harbour.
Jeongguk ends up with Jimin on his back again, arms wrapped around his neck as Jeongguk walks them to the end of the pier. They sit on the wall by the lighthouse, watching the sun set over the water. They don’t speak for a while, but it’s perfect, a silence that is full of words unsaid. Unspoken sentiments and gratefulness.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin says after a while, turning to face him, “thank you so much for- well for everything honestly. For coming to the award show to cheer me on, for taking me away when I needed a break, for giving me a chance to feel normal for once. I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me.”
“You’re welcome hyung,” Jeongguk says, swallowing down a lump in his throat, “honestly though, I really enjoy spending time with you. I’m so glad I got to know you.”
They stare at each other for a moment. “Your grandmother was right you know,” Jimin says softly, looking into Jeongguk’s eyes as if he is studying them.
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow in question. “What do you mean?”
Jimin shakes his head, looking away. “Nothing.”
When the last of the daylight disappears below the horizon they make their way back to the boat house. Jeongguk ends up piggybacking Jimin most of the way, but he doesn’t mind one bit. There’s something about Jimin’s weight on his back that makes him feel grounded. It’s the same way the ocean makes him feel. At home.
———
Back at the boat house Jimin hums gently as he packs away the few belongings he’d brought into a bag that Jeongguk lends him. Jeongguk packs his own bag, folding his suit as nicely as he can before giving up and shoving it in his backpack. He needs to get it dry-cleaned anyway, so a few creases won’t make much difference.
“Um, I guess I should change…” Jimin says, running a gentle hand over the t-shirt he’s wearing. He looks down at the clothes he’d worn yesterday like they’ve offended him, before glancing up at Jeongguk. “I can take these with me and wash them for you if you like?”
“You can just keep them,” Jeongguk says, gesturing at Jimin’s outfit, “if you want to…”
Jimin looks down at the tatty surf shirt, touching the front absentmindedly, “…are you sure?”
Jeongguk’s nods. “They look way better on you anyway hyung. I mean, how do you literally pull off anything? Even the surf vibe?” He sighs dramatically, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I can’t believe you showed me up in my home town.”
Jimin snorts. “Yeah right, have you even seen yourself?” He gestures at Jeongguk, “I can’t believe you wake up looking like that.” Jeongguk chuckles, but feels his cheeks heat up.
Jimin puts the clothes he’d worn yesterday into the bag Jeongguk had given him, and then sits down on the bed with a sigh, looking around the boat house as the sound of the waves floats in through the window.
“I wish we could just stay here forever,” he says wistfully. “But I need to go back and sort things out. I guess that’s what being an adult is all about.”
Jeongguk nods. “Well, I’m sure my parents will be more than happy to have you back any time.”
Jimin turns to look at Jeongguk with a smile. “They’re so nice. You’re lucky to have parents like them Jeongguk-ah… so lucky.” Jeongguk can hear the sadness in Jimin’s voice. He knows how lucky he is to have such kind and supportive parents. He can’t even imagine what it’s like to be in Jimin’s position.
“Did it help getting away from everything for a little while?”
“It did,” Jimin nods, “more than you know. I really don’t want to leave.”
Jeongguk hums in understanding. “This place does have a certain charm, doesn’t it.”
Jimin smiles. “The company isn’t too bad either.”
Jeongguk walks over to where Jimin sits on the bed, and holds out his hand. “Ready to get back to reality?”
Jimin takes his hand, letting Jeongguk pull him to stand. He looks around the boat house one last time before locking eyes with Jeongguk. “I’m ready.”
———
The return journey back to Seoul seems too fast for Jeongguk. So much faster than their trip out to the coast. They talk about everything and anything, and Jimin opens up a little more about his plans. He seems set in his decision to retire, determined that he won’t let anyone sway him, and Jeongguk assures him that he and his friends will support him in whatever he chooses to do.
After a while Jimin is lulled to sleep, his head nodding forwards. He looks so peaceful, and it warms Jeongguk’s heart to see him sleeping so comfortably, knowing how often he suffers from sleepless nights.
Before long Jeongguk is reluctantly pulling into Jimin’s apartment building, the guard recognising Jimin in the passenger seat, and opening the gate for him. He drives into the underground parking lot and pulls up outside the elevators.
“Jimin-hyung? Wake up, we’re here.” Jeongguk turns off the engine and gently shakes Jimin awake. Jimin blinks his eyes open, looking around blearily. When he realises they’re back at Nine One Hannam he seems disappointed.
“Sorry I fell asleep again.”
“Don’t be sorry, hyung. I’m glad you could get some rest.”
“Honestly, I feel more rested this weekend than I have my whole life,” Jimin says, his voice rough from sleep. He turns in his seat to face Jeongguk. “You’re must be exhausted though. I mean you’ve driven like eight hours in the last two days and now you have work tomorrow-”
“I’m fine hyung,” Jeongguk says, cutting Jimin off before he starts feeling guilty, “I do this drive all the time, I’m so used to it. I had a really great time with you.”
“Me too,” Jimin says, eyes full of sincerity. “It was exactly what I needed. I really can’t thank you enough Jeongguk-ah. It really means so much to me.”
Jeongguk smiles. “You’re welcome hyung. I’m really happy I could help.”
Jimin grabs his bag from the back seat and reluctantly opens the door as Jeongguk hops out as well, walking around to stop in front of Jimin. “I… I’ll message you,” Jimin says, “and I’ll see you on set tomorrow. Back to reality.”
“Don’t let them boss you around, okay?” Jeongguk holds up his fists, “Park Jimin, fighting!”
Jimin smiles a beautiful smile and then steps forward, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s middle and practically falling into him. Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to gather him up, their bodies slotting together in something so much more than a hug. Jimin holds on to him tightly, turning his head into Jeongguk’s neck and breathing in deeply. They hold each other for what feels like forever, Jeongguk resting his chin on Jimin’s head as he gently strokes his back.
Jimin finally pulls away reluctantly. “I’d better go. And you’d better get back home and feed those goldfish.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Okay, I’m going. Goodnight, hyung.”
“Goodnight, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin says, walking towards the door leading to the elevator. He turns around one last time and waves, and Jeongguk watches him until he disappears out of sight.
When he gets home that night, all Jeongguk can think about is Jimin.
Jimin with his beachy hair. Jimin sitting on his brothers boat holding a crab. Jimin walking around without a hat or mask to hide behind. Jimin smiling a beautiful, care free smile for the first time since Jeongguk has met him. He is completely and utterly consumed by Jimin.
Feeling the inspiration flowing though him, he sits down on his sofa, takes a breath, opens his laptop, and starts his article on Park Jimin.
Notes:
The slowburn is real guys 😭 But don’t worry, they’ll finally get their act together in the next chapter. The smut is coming!
On a side note, Cheongsapo is a real place! It’s a little fishing village near Busan so if you’re ever in the area go give it a visit!
Chapter 7: Be Mine
Notes:
If you can wait a year and a half for an update, you can wait a year and a half for our boys to be back! See? This was actually a training exercise and you passed!
But seriously, thank you for your patience, and for the kind comments of readers who have been waiting all this time. I really hope you like the ending chapters of this fic ^^
This one is 22k! Enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Tap tap
“Come in,” Yoongi’s slightly muffled voice calls out from inside his office. Jeongguk pushes open the door and walks inside, finding Yoongi sitting at his desk, and Namjoon standing by the window behind him.
“Do you guys spend any time apart?” Jeongguk asks with a grin as he drops into the seat in front of Yoongi’s desk. He raises an eyebrow at Namjoon in a teasing manner. “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Don’t you?” Yoongi cuts in before Namjoon can even reply. He leans back in his chair and folds his arms, staring at Jeongguk expectantly. “Where’s my feature article, hm?”
Jeongguk can’t help the proud grin that erupts across his face as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the USB containing the finished article, placing it onto the desk between them.
Yoongi’s eyes widen, his eyebrows shooting up as he leans forward and takes the USB. “It’s done?” he asks incredulously, wasting no time in sliding it into the port at the side of his computer. “You really finished it?”
Jeongguk nods, gesturing at Yoongi’s screen. “It’s all there.”
Yoongi looks like he doesn’t believe it and Jeongguk can’t help but laugh. “You should be pleased hyung.”
“Oh I’m ecstatic, trust me.” Yoongi clicks his mouse a few times, scanning over the article on his screen with sharp eyes. “I’m just surprised. When we spoke last week you were in the deathly grip of writers block, and said you didn’t know where to start. What changed?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “I was… inspired. And once I started I couldn’t stop.”
Since coming back from his trip with Jimin, Jeongguk has spent the past four nights writing like he was in some sort of mad trance. His hands had cramped up more than once, and his neck is still a little stiff from being bent over his laptop for too long, but finally the article is finished, and it’s good. It’s better than good. It’s probably the best damn thing he’s ever written.
It had turned out different from his usual articles. Maybe because this one is so much more personal. Maybe because he knows what it will mean to Jimin… what it will mean to him to have Jimin read it.
Jeongguk watches as Yoongi reads over the article, chewing his thumbnail nervously. He has re-read the article more than a dozen times to make sure it’s perfect, physically writing some parts of it out on paper, before typing it up on his computer. His notepad had gotten the brunt of his muddled thoughts as he tried to figure out how to word them just right, the margins filled with small notes and scribbles. It’s the way he has always preferred to write, pencil to paper, the graphite having a way of bringing out his inner most thoughts.
After a torturous few minutes of silence, Yoongi blows out a breath and sits back in his chair.
“What do you think?” Jeongguk asks, his leg bouncing nervously.
“Honestly?” Yoongi runs his hand through his hair. “I think it’s the best thing you’ve ever written.”
Jeongguk releases the breath he didn’t even know he was holding. “Really? You really thing so?”
Yoongi nods, looking back at the screen. “Park Jimin - The Inside Story.” He reads the title out loud, his lips lifting at the corners. “It’s pretty sentimental for a GQ article.”
“It’s nothing but the truth,” Jeongguk counters, feeling a little defensive. “The public seem to love a good exposé on Jimin, so I’m just giving them what they want. Except this one is the only one that is actually truthful.”
Yoongi hums, eyes still skimming over the words on the screen. “Well it’s definitely going to cause a stir. With the way the public will jump on any news about Park Jimin like starved fucking zombies, I think this has the potential to be one of the best selling issues we’ve ever published, if not the best selling.”
Namjoon leans over Yoongi, his hand slipping onto his shoulder as he scans the article. “Damn Jeongguk-ah, that’s high praise coming from the editor-in-chief.”
Yoongi shifts a little, almost imperceptibly, under Namjoon’s touch. “It’s definitely going to be polarising in the public’s response. There are people who have a hate-boner for Park Jimin, so they’ll hate this article. But they’ll still read it. And then there are also his fans and members of the general public who will love this. Either way, the issue will sell like hot cakes.”
Jeongguk nods. He’s happy to hear that Yoongi has such high hopes for his article, but it stopped being about selling issues a long time ago. This article is so much more. It’s a letter to Jimin, for Jimin, about Jimin.
“Actually hyung, there’s a favour I’ve been meaning to ask…” Jeongguk says nervously, ruffling the hair at the back of his head.
Yoongi looks up at him curiously. “Go ahead.”
“I, uh, really don’t like the editorial photos Jimin took for the article.” Jeongguk winces a little, knowing that a good amount of company funds have probably been used for the shoot.
Yoongi chuckles, unfazed. “Oh, you made that more than clear.”
Jeongguk sighs. “They’re just not right hyung. Every magazine photoshoot of Jimin is always the same posey picture of him in a suit looking intimidating. That’s the way he’s always portrayed, and it is so different from the person he really is. I’m sorry hyung, I don’t want to be difficult, but they won’t work… not for my article anyway.”
Yoongi sits in silence for a second, before exchanging looks with Namjoon. “Okay. What do you have in mind then?”
Jeongguk pulls out his phone and places it on the table between them. Yoongi looks down at the device, before looking up at Jeongguk like he has grown an extra head. “You can’t be serious.”
“Hyung… trust me.”
———
Looking at Jimin feels different now. The same, yet completely and utterly different. The feeling is almost tangible. Since they returned from their spontaneous trip to Jeongguk’s home town, its like any of the remaining walls that were there between them have quietly crumbled down, and were swept away by the ocean current.
He and Jimin are something now, though he’s not sure what that something is yet.
“Excuse me please,” a staff member says as she brushes past Jeongguk, jolting him out of his daydream. He tears his gaze away from where he had been watching Jimin from across the photography studio, and moves out of her way with an apology, before his eyes find Jimin again.
Jimin hasn’t yet realised that Jeongguk has arrived at the photoshoot, too busy surrounded by stylists and the visual director of Vogue Korea. This was one of the ‘loose ends’ Jimin had wanted to tie up before stepping back from the spotlight. He wants to honour his previously agreed schedules and commitments, so here they are, at yet another photoshoot, with Jimin under yet another set of harsh white lights.
Hoseok had messaged Jeongguk that morning, explaining that he wouldn’t be at the shoot today due to the brand wanting to use their own stylists. He had asked Jeongguk to look after Jimin for him while he begrudgingly works on another job for the day.
Jimin is frowning in concentration as he listens to the photographer, his eyes fixed on a computer screen where he’s being shown something to do with the concept for the photoshoot. Jeongguk can’t help but smile fondly as he watches him. When he’d first started shadowing Jimin two months ago he’d been incredibly intimidated by him, but now he can’t help but think that Jimin just looks cute all the time.
Jimin is saying something to the photographer when a stylist suddenly appears out of nowhere and starts to run her fingers through his hair, making Jimin flinch slightly at the sudden unexpected touch. She hadn’t even warned him that she was there, or asked to touch him, and her ministrations seem a tad excessive as she continues to run a hand through his already styled hair, mussing it slightly before fixing it to look exactly how it had looked before she touched it. It’s literally the most pointless thing Jeongguk has ever seen anyone do. It’s pretty obvious she just wanted an excuse to touch Jimin, and Jimin seems aware of it too with the way he shrinks back slightly.
Jeongguk feels a hot flare of protectiveness wash over him. He has the strongest urge to march over and bat her hand away, though he restrains himself, not wanting to cause a scene.
As if he’s sensed Jeongguk’s gaze on him Jimin suddenly looks up, and when their eyes meet across the studio Jimin’s stiff expression instantly softens into a warm smile, his shoulders lifting and falling as he lets out a relieved breath. Suddenly it’s like everything else melts into the background, as if the staff aren’t even there anymore and they’re alone again, back by the beach with the sea air whipping around them as they walk along the harbour together.
The moment is broken by a different stylist approaching Jimin, pulling at the collar of his shirt to adjust it so it falls open a little more, revealing more of his chest. Jimin seems to have had enough and shakes all the staff members off, nodding tightly at them before he slips through the small crowd gathered around him to make his way directly to Jeongguk. The staff seem to grumble amongst themselves, eyeing him disapprovingly, but Jimin doesn’t seem to notice, his eyes fixed only on Jeongguk.
“You’re late,” Jimin teases as he stops in front of him, biting at his lip a little as he rocks onto his toes. “That’s bad journalism you know. You’ll never get the scoop that way.”
Jeongguk laughs, his own face erupting into a grin. “Ah sorry, I was stuck in traffic. I’m still not used to these city roads you see. I don’t know if you’re aware, but I grew up on a boat, and there’s no traffic on the ocean.”
Jimin chuckles, leaning a little closer into Jeongguk’s space. “Are you sure it wasn’t because you stayed up late texting me, and then overslept?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeongguk hums, feigning ignorance.
Jimin quirks an eyebrow. “Is that so? I guess you won’t be needing the coffee I got you then?”
Jeongguk practically whines in response. “Hyung please, I’m dying.”
Jimin laughs, holding a finger up to tell Jeongguk to wait a second before hurrying off around a corner. He comes back a few moments later with a large takeaway iced americano, handing it to Jeongguk.
“Thank you so much hyung.” Jeongguk accepts the cup from Jimin and takes a sip, letting out a content sigh. “This is exactly what I needed. You’re the best.”
Jimin smiles, ducking his head, and if Jeongguk didn’t know any better he’d say Jimin was blushing.
God he’s so pretty.
“Jimin-ssi?” They’re interrupted by an assistant stylist who steps up next to them. “We’re ready for you now. We just need to put on the next set of jewellery.”
Jimin nods in response, his posture straightening, expression shuttering as he instinctively puts back on the outward ‘Park Jimin’ persona that everyone else sees.
Its funny how much of a difference your environment can make. Only a few days earlier, Jimin had been curled up in the bed of Jeongguk’s brothers boat house, bare faced, messy hair, wearing Jeongguk’s old surf t-shirt, and telling him how he’s not slept so well in what felt like years. But now, like the flip of a switch, he’s been pulled back into the spotlight that threatens to choke him. Jeongguk can see the effect it has on him, even if Jimin smiles and pretends. He can see the dark circles that have crept back under his eyes. Its like this profession sucks him dry.
Jeongguk wants to reassure Jimin. He opens his mouth to say something, but the stylist is already leading Jimin back over towards the area of the set that is designated to wardrobe. Jimin glances over his shoulder as he walks, as if to check that Jeongguk is following after him.
As if that’s even a question.
They stop in front of a large vanity, and it’s only then that Jeongguk sees the plush pale blue boxes holding the jewellery that Jimin is going to be modelling.
“Tiffany?” Jeongguk peers over Jimin’s shoulder. “Wow… I didn’t realise you were working with them.”
“I’ve been an ambassador of them for a while, Jeongguk-ah. You haven’t done your research on me very well, have you?” Jimin teases as he holds his wrists out and allows the stylists to start putting on the jewellery. They wrap his wrists and neck in layers of delicate silver chains, his shirt cut just low enough to show the jewellery off perfectly.
“You know what,” Jeongguk holds up a finger like he’s just remembered, “I’m pretty sure it did come up in my research.”
“Liar,” Jimin chuckles, bending down slightly as the stylist fastens a chain around his neck.
“Hyung, you have what, at least thirty brand deals? Is it my fault that one gets missed? I’m pretty sure the whole of Seoul has a brand deal with you.”
Jimin shakes his head, still smiling. “I’m just teasing you.”
Jeongguk moves around Jimin and slides up in front of him, bending down a little to catch his eye, so he has his full attention. “Okay I admit, maybe I didn’t know about the whole Tiffany thing- I mean, who’s even heard of them anyway?” He motions dismissively at the Tiffany logo and the blue boxes, and Jimin snorts. “But I know more important things about you than random brand deals.”
“Oh, do you now? Like what?” Jimin challenges, licking his lips.
“Like you prefer to sleep on the right side of the bed,” Jeongguk whispers so only Jimin can hear, “and you pout in your sleep.”
Jimin’s eyes widen almost comically, and a deep blush creeps across his cheeks. “What are you even saying Jeongguk-ah…” he pouts, and Jeongguk grins triumphantly. He’s about to tease Jimin a little more when a stylist cuts in between them, checking Jimin over.
“He’s ready,” the stylist calls to the photoshoot director.
“Okay good, lets get you in front of the camera then, Jimin-ssi.” The director for the shoot seems to be in a rush, clapping his hands loudly. “Everyone to your places!”
Jimin tenses up, clenching his fists before he quickly relaxes them, looking nervously down at the expensive rings that cover his fingers. He looks to Jeongguk, brows pulled down as he takes a calming breath.
“You’re gonna do great,” Jeongguk gives him a reassuring smile. “I’m right here if you need me.”
Jimin nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. He steps out onto the pure white set, stopping on a mark in the centre indicating where he needs to stand.
Jimin is a natural in front of the camera. His eyes cut straight down the lens as he holds his hands and arms up to frame his face in different poses, showing off the jewellery perfectly. He really is stunning when he gets into the zone, the whole room enraptured by him as they watch on.
Before long, the director calls for Jimin to switch to the next line of jewellery. The man looks at Jimin as if he’s looking at his new muse, eyes sparking as he calls over the stylist team.
“You really are brilliant Jimin-ssi,” he compliments, and Jimin nods a thank you. “But I really want to push boundaries with this campaign. You know, move more with the times.” The director turns to the stylists now, addressing them instead. “I’d like it if we could have Jimin-ssi shirtless for the next photos, with the long chains down to his navel. Just the jewellery being his clothes.”
Jeongguk’s stomach suddenly feels heavy like a stone, the protectiveness he always feels for Jimin flaring up again. The director hasn’t even asked Jimin’s opinion, instead instructing the stylists as if it’s his decision to make about Jimin’s body. As if Jimin has no say in it. He hasn’t even asked if Jimin is okay with it. Jeongguk knows he isn’t. He knows that being stripped bare in front of a room of strangers is enough to send Jimin spiralling into a panic. Jeongguk rolls out his shoulders and is about to step forward to object as he had for the last shoot where this happened, but he’s surprised when Jimin speaks up instead.
“Actually, um- I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable with that,” Jimin says to the director. His expression is calm, but Jeongguk can see the slight tremor in his hands. “I’d like to keep my shirt on… and done up.”
The director laughs, as if Jimin just told a joke. “Jimin-ssi, think of the attention this could get. Its just a little bit of skin, and its not like you have anything to be ashamed of with your body, I’m sure.” He looks Jimin up and down in a way that makes Jeongguk want to punch him in the face. “Lets give the people what they want, hm?”
Jimin is silent for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, but no,” he repeats politely but firmly, standing his ground, “I don’t want to do that.”
The director’s expression quickly turns sour. “Very well, Jimin-ssi. If that’s the case I’ll leave the outfit decisions to you.”
He’s obviously not pleased with the situation, probably ready to complain to Jimin’s management about him being difficult, or unprofessional or whatever bullshit story he’s going to weave together to get Jimin in trouble. Jeongguk can’t hide his glare as the director stomps away. Talk about unprofessional. Throwing a tantrum just because someone wont get half-naked in front of you.
Jeongguk, however, couldn’t feel any prouder of Jimin. The fact that Jimin was able to stand up for himself, when only a few weeks ago he wouldn’t have dared speak out in fear of being seen as difficult. This is such a huge step forward for him. Something he should be incredibly proud of.
Jeongguk steps forward so he’s standing right next to Jimin. “Hyung, that was fucking awesome.”
Jimin looks at him, blowing out a breath, worry swimming behind his eyes. “Yeah?”
Jeongguk nods. “Fuck yeah. He was totally out of line. It’s your body, and your choice what you want to do with it. I’m so glad you stood up for yourself, first with your mother, and now this. Im really proud of you.”
Jimin runs a hand though his hair, his hand trembling slightly. “I guess compared to my mother this is nothing.” They both glance over at the director who seems to be ranting to his assistants. “I should probably stay off Naver for a while. Who knows what sort of article will come out about this.”
“Fuck Naver, hyung. You putting that asshole in his place was sexy as hell.”
Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise. “Sexy…really?”
Jeongguk nods, and Jimin looks away, a subtle blush dusting his cheeks.
“You think I’m sexy?”
Jeongguk chuckles, finding Jimin so freaking endearing that he wants nothing more than to throw him over his shoulder and run out of the studio with him. But seeing as Jimin is still adorned in jewellery that could pay Jeongguk’s rent for the ten years, he thinks better of it. Instead he leans down to whisper in Jimin’s ear.
“Cutie, sexy, and lovely. You’re everything, Park Jimin.”
Jimin sucks in a breath, his cheeks reddening even more as a stylist comes to hand him the next outfit they’ve prepared. It’s a dark silk shirt, and Jimin disappears into a dressing cubicle to put it on, obviously a little flustered. Jeongguk watches him go with a smile, feeling his own cheeks threaten to heat up.
He’s brave to flirt so openly like this, but he wants Jimin to pick up these signals he’s sending out. He wants to confirm that Jimin is reciprocating them.
Park Jimin.
God, Jeongguk wants to ask him out so badly. But he wants to get the article out first. He wants Jimin to read it, and to read into it. He wants Jimin to pick up on all the little nuances, the feelings Jeongguk has woven into his words. He wants Jimin to see himself through Jeongguk’s eyes. Then he wants to take things a step further- if Jimin will allow him.
He knows that there’s something there between them. He’s not oblivious to knowing when others flirt with him. He’s dated a little in the past, picked up people at bars. But this is so much deeper than that. It goes past flirting, or hooking up, or casual dating. It’s an emotional connection, something deep and real. He doesn’t want to go about this in the way that he usually would. He wants to make sure that when he asks Jimin out, it’s perfect.
Jimin steps out onto set again, throwing glances and smiles towards Jeongguk who positions himself just off camera. He’s pretty sure the photographer is capturing the shy smiles that Jimin is giving him, and he secretly hopes they wont make it into the final campaign. Those smiles are Jeongguk’s only, and he’s never been good at sharing.
Once the shoot has finally ended, Jimin changes back into his comfortable clothes- some soft looking baggy jeans and a cream long sleeved T-shirt. He looks… very huggable, and Jeongguk has to hold himself back from wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him tight.
“Um, so, what are you doing after this?” Jimin asks him as they both make their way down the hallway towards the back of the building where the carpark is located. Jimin’s manager walks just ahead out of earshot, discussing something with someone on the phone.
“I’m going to head home and feed my fish and water my plants,” Jeongguk replies, hitching his bag up on his shoulder. “After that I’m going to meet Namjoon and Yoongi at our usual bar for a few drinks and a catch up.”
“That sound nice.” Jimin hums. “How are your fish by the way?”
“They’re very well thank you. We’re working on a new trick where they swim through this tiny hoop. But Namjoon’s getting too fat for it. He keeps getting stuck.”
Jimin giggles. “Poor thing. I still can’t believe you named them after your best friends.”
“Do you think its cheesy?”
Jimin shakes his head. “Not at all. In fact if you get another one, you should name it Jimin.”
Jeongguk smiles. “Okay, deal.”
They pause before they part ways, heading to different corners of the parking lot. “Well, have fun tonight,” Jimin says with a smile, shifting back and forth on his feet. “I’ll see you at the drama set tomorrow?”
Jeongguk nods. “I’ll be there. What are you going to do now?”
Jimin shrugs. “I’ll probably just go home and have a long bath to de-stress from this shoot. Then Hobi-hyung is coming over later to watch a movie.”
“Get him to watch The Notebook.”
“Oh gosh, he will cry so much.”
Jeongguk chuckles. “Exactly. You have to call me and tell me if he does.”
Jimin giggles and nods. “I will.”
———
Jeongguk sits down with a grunt in the booth he usually sits in with his hyungs, trying and failing not to spill his beer on his lap in the dim light of the bar. He yelps as the cold liquid soaks into his jeans, and Yoongi shakes his head, tossing some napkins across the table at him.
“We can’t take you anywhere.”
Namjoon appears holding two beers, one for himself and one for Yoongi. He carefully places one of the beers in front of Yoongi on the table, before sliding into the cubicle next to him. Yoongi grabs his beer and holds it out in front of him.
“Cheers to Jeongguk for finding his muse, and writing me the best selling article of all time.”
Jeongguk nearly chokes on the mouthful of beer he’d just taken. “H-hyung, its not even out yet,” he croaks, the word ‘muse’ bouncing around his brain.
Yoongi just shrugs. “We all know it will be though. So cheers.”
They all clink their glasses together and take a sip before settling back in their seats. Namjoon stretches his arm across the back of the booth behind Yoongi, and Yoongi relaxes against his side.
Jeongguk quirks an eyebrow, looking back and forth between them. “So you’re not even hiding it anymore then? It’s about time honestly.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes, and Namjoon simply huffs out a laugh, curling his arm around Yoongi’s shoulder. “How about you then, hm? How is your big fat crush on your Park Jimin going?”
“Wha- don’t deflect,” Jeongguk splutters, taking another sip of his beer to try and hide the fact he’s blushing. “I do not have a big fat crush on Jimin,” he lies. “I have a perfectly appropriate crush thank you very much. And Jimin and I are getting on pretty well now actually.”
That’s an understatement, but he’s not about to admit the truth. Jeongguk is sure that Yoongi and Namjoon have their suspicions about his relationship with Jimin. And he knows he can trust them. But he’d promised Jimin in that club bathroom all those weeks ago that he wouldn’t tell anyone about his sexuality, and he’s kept that promise. It’s not his secret to tell. If in the future their relationship does progress into something more, it will be Jimin’s choice whether he is ready to come out to others or not. Jeongguk knows how difficult it can be, so he is more than happy to go at Jimin’s pace- however long that takes.
“Well I’m just glad you two aren’t trying to rip each other’s heads off anymore,” Yoongi grins, drinking his own beer as he settles happily with Namjoon’s arm around him.
Jeongguk feels a twinge of envy watching them. He imagines himself and Jimin sitting in the same position, Jimin’s blonde hair brushing under his chin as he relaxes against his shoulder. The two of them laughing and talking about their day. Jeongguk massaging out Jimin’s sore muscles as they decide what to eat that evening…
“… hello… earth to Jeongguk?” Namjoon’s voice snaps Jeongguk out of his daydream, bringing him back to reality. “You okay there, buddy?”
Jeongguk nods, taking another mouthful of his beer. “Sorry, hyung. What were you saying?”
“Are you excited to finally have your article published?”
“Yeah, of course.” Jeongguk feels a rush of nerves and excitement when he thinks about the article actually being published. “I really hope Jimin likes it.”
Yoongi chuckles. “And of course the general public who will actually be buying the article… And you know, Park Young-hee, the person who actually commissioned it.”
Jeongguk shrugs. “I guess them too.”
Yoongi shakes his head. “You’re so whipped, Jeongguk-ah. Anyway I have something for you.” He reaches into his bag next to him and pulls something out, placing it onto the table in front of Jeongguk. Jeongguk’s eyes widen and he feels a lump form in his throat.
On the table in front of him is a copy of the July addition of GQ magazine. The magazine with his article on Jimin.
“This is a test print,” Yoongi says with a smile as he takes a sip of his drink. “I though you might like a copy to give to Jimin. He should get to read it before everyone else.”
Jeongguk looks at Yoongi, and then back at the magazine in front of him. “Thank you hyung,” he whispers as he picks up the magazine, looking at the photo of Jimin on the front cover. He feels a range of emotions run through him. Pride that it turned out exactly how he wanted it to, excited that it’s finally being released, nervous that Jimin will read it, curious about what he will think of it. He also feels a sadness that it’s over. The article is done.
After this week, he wont be shadowing Jimin anymore. His contracted two months will be over. Suddenly, he’s filled with a deep sort of melancholy. It’s all going to end so soon. He’s happy that the article will be published, one that will hopefully silence all of Jimin’s haters, and give people a glimpse of the real Park Jimin that Jeongguk has fallen for so deeply. But it’s bitter-sweet… very bitter-sweet.
He doesn’t know how he’s going to go back to not seeing Jimin every day after this assignment is over. God he wants to see him every day, he wants that so badly. He sighs to himself, taking a sip of his beer.
He can’t pinpoint the exact moment he fell for Jimin. It all happened so… naturally. Its so different from any of his past relationships, if you can even call them that. He’s fallen for Jimin hard. It didn’t happen in a single leap. Its like the ground gradually crumbled away under his feet, little by little, day by day, and now he’s caught in a landslide that he doesn’t even want to escape. He just hopes that Jimin feels the same.
Jeongguk throws back the rest of his beer and slips out of the booth. “I’m going to get another drink.”
“Was it something I said?” Namjoon asks.
“No, hyung,” Jeongguk shakes his head with a smile. “I just realised I’m going to need to find some new writing material soon.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Yoongi counters. “You’re always asking me for features. You can get started on next month’s article.”
Jeongguk chuckles, giving him a thumbs up before slipping through the crowd towards the bar. What Yoongi doesn’t know is that if he could, Jeongguk would only write about Jimin from now on. He thinks he could fill a million libraries with stories about Jimin, and it still wouldn’t be enough. As he leans on the bar he wonders to himself if it is possible for writers to have muses.
He thinks it is.
—
After getting home, Jeongguk flops down onto his bed, watching his bedroom ceiling spin. He definitely drank too much tonight, especially seeing as it’s a weekday and he has to work in the morning.
Well, technically he doesn’t, because he’s finished his article. But he’s not about to go telling anyone that because he has a few days left of his contract and he’s going to make the most of them. Then next week, once his two months are up, he’ll give Jimin the test copy of the magazine that Yoongi have him, and Jimin will read it, and then Jeongguk will ask him out. At least, that’s the plan.
He lets out a loud sigh which echoes around the room, then looks over at his clock on the wall. It’s the early hours of the morning. If he goes to sleep now he’ll at least get a few hours of sleep before his alarm goes off.
Sleep does’t come though.
Jeongguk rolls onto his side, his sheets rustling with the movement. He’s about to close his eyes when his phone lights up, the buzzing indicating a phone call coming through. Jeongguk squints at the screen, smiling when he sees Jimin’s name.
“Hyung,” he says softly when he answers.
“Jeongguk-ah… you’re awake.”
“I am. I actually just got home.”
Jimin hums. “Did you have fun with your hyungs?”
“I did… a bit too much fun for a weeknight,” Jeongguk groans.
Jimin giggles softly. “Are you drunk?”
“Not really.”
“Tipsy?”
“A little.”
“I see.”
Jeongguk can hear the smile in Jimin’s voice, and the rustle of sheets as he turns in his bed. He wishes he was next to him. “Are you in bed hyung?”
Jimin sighs. “Yeah. Hobi-hyung went home a little while ago… guess what?”
“What?”
“I got him to watch The Notebook with me.”
Jeongguk snorts. “He cried right?”
“Like a baby. We both did, actually. Then we basically cuddled for the rest of the evening.”
Jeongguk chuckles, picturing the scene. “That’s cute. I wish I was there, I would have cuddled you too.”
“Really?” Jeongguk can hear the smile in Jimin’s voice. “What about Hobi-hyung?”
Jeongguk shakes his head even though Jimin can’t see him. “Just you. But Hobi-hyung would have gotten a lot of gentle head pats. I’m not evil.”
“So your cuddles are reserved for me?”
“Only you.”
“Hmm… that’s good.” Jimin sounds satisfied.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk rolls onto his back, his free hand threading through his long strands of hair. “Do you think writers can have muses?”
“Muses?” The line goes silent for a moment, before Jimin speaks again softly. “Yeah, I think so. Writing is an art form. You need inspiration to write, and a person can be that inspiration.”
“Hm,” Jeongguk hums in agreement. He closes his eyes for a moment his head feeling fuzzy. “I think you’re right.”
The two are silent for a moment, just their quiet breathing passing between them. Then Jimin speaks again.
“Do you have one?”
“Hm?”
“A muse? Do you have one?”
Jeongguk smiles. “I think so, yeah.”
There’s a long pause before Jimin speaks again. “…Is it me?”
Jeongguk chuckles, playing with his hair. “You’re very bold tonight hyung.”
“And you’re very drunk tonight Jeongguk-ah.”
“Are you having trouble sleeping again?” Jeongguk asks, attempting to change the subject.
“No more than usual. Don’t try and change the subject,” Jimin chides and Jeongguk snorts. “So, is it me?”
“Hm?”
“Your muse.”
Jeongguk smiles. “What do you think?”
Another rustle, then Jimin speaks quietly, a little muffled like he’s speaking into his pillow. “I hope it’s me. If it isn’t then this will be very embarrassing.”
Jeongguk takes a slow breath, trying to steady his head. “Of course it’s you, hyung,” he whispers softly, the words heavy on his tongue. “Who else would it be?”
Jimin lets out a satisfied sigh, his sheets rustling against the phone again. “I’m happy it’s me.”
“Yeah?”
Jimin yawns. “Yeah.”
They lay in comfortable silence for a few moments before Jimin speaks sleepily.
“I should probably try to get some sleep now.”
Jeongguk smiles, imagining Jimin curled up in his bed. “Okay hyung. Did you take anything to help?”
“I did. I took my medication.”
“That’s good. Try listening to some white noise too, or some rain sounds. That always helps me when I can’t sleep.”
“Okay, I’ll try. I’ll bring you a coffee tomorrow morning for the hangover you’re definitely going to have,” Jimin giggles softly.
Jeongguk groans but smiles, burying deeper into his pillow. “My saviour. See you tomorrow hyung.”
“Good night Jeongguk-ah.”
“Sweet dreams Jimin-hyung.”
———
“Did you get Jin-hyung’s message?” Jimin asks as they walk side by side down the corridor of the drama studio towards the car park. It’s Friday afternoon, and filming has finished for this week, which means Jeongguk’s two months shadowing Jimin are officially over. Neither of them have mentioned it yet. Jeongguk doesn’t want to bring it up first, so he’s waiting for Jimin to say something.
“Message?” Jeongguk pulls out his phone and sees a kakao talk message from Jin in his notifications. He had been so distracted watching Jimin filming that he hadn’t even checked his phone once.
“Yeah. Do you want to come to Jin-hyung’s place tonight?” Jimin asks as they walk past some staff members. “He said we can all go over to hang out if we want.”
Jeongguk grins. “He just wants to beat me at Halli Galli, doesn’t he? Can’t take that he’s met his match.”
Jimin giggles, shaking his head. “Not this time. I told him that board games are off the table tonight- no pun intended. It brings out the worst in him. I think there’s a football game on tonight or something. Sonny is playing.”
“Fair enough,” Jeongguk chuckles, holding open the heavy door which leads into the car park for Jimin, who thanks him with shy smile, “and yes, I’ll definitely be there.”
Jimin’s smile grows. He hovers when he realises their cars are in different directions. “Okay, great. Uh… I’ll be there too, of course. So, yeah.” He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. “You remember the address, right? Or do you need me to send it?”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I’ve got it, hyung.”
Jimin smiles brightly, his eyes turning into little crescents. “Okay… I’ll see you later Jeongguk-ah.”
—
“Re-match time!” Seokjin shouts the second he opens the door of his apartment, slinging his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulder as he leads him inside. Soft music is playing in the background, and strategically placed lamps make the living room feel warm and homely. Taehyung and Hoseok are giggling loudly in the kitchen as they pour questionable coloured drinks into tall glasses.
“Hyung, you said you wouldn’t,” Jimin whines from where he is curled up in the corner of the large sofa.
“Yah, I’m only joking. I promise I wont steal Jeonggukie away from you the whole night this time, okay?” He winks at Jimin before squeezing Jeongguk’s shoulders playfully, and Jeongguk thinks the blush on his own cheeks probably matches Jimin’s.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Hoseok calls from the kitchen, “you made it! Want a drink?”
“We’re experimenting,” Taehyung says as he holds up a glass of murky brown liquid that Jeongguk can only assume is half a dozen alcoholic drinks mixed into one. “Its called chemistry.”
Jeongguk eyes the glass in suspicion. “Uh, just a beer for me thanks.”
“Pussy,” Taehyung teases playfully, taking a mouthful of his murky brown concoction and grimacing as Hoseok bursts into laughter. “Oh, wow. That is foul.”
“Another!” Hoseok slams his hand on the table and laughs heartily. They pass Jeongguk a beer before getting back to it, giggling like school boys.
Jeongguk shakes his head with a chuckle, taking a sip of his beer as he walks over to the sofa and drops down beside Jimin. “It looks like those two are determined to make themselves throw up by the end of the night.”
Jimin snorts, shaking his head as he looks over at his two friends in the kitchen. “Lets order food soon guys!” He calls out.
“What do you want to eat?” Jeongguk asks, thumbing at his beer as he turns to look at Jimin. The blonde looks thoroughly loveable, his legs tucked up against his chest, arms wrapped around his knees, long sleeves of his hoodie covering his hands.
Jimin smiles softly as he turns his body towards Jeongguk and drops his head sideways, leaning against the back of the sofa. “Hmm, I want… crab.”
“Crab?” Jeongguk quirks an eyebrow.
“Yeah. I went to this really amazing crab restaurant recently, you see. It’s this family run place by the sea down south. Most delicious crab I’ve ever eaten. I’ve been craving it ever since.”
Jeongguk laughs when he realises what Jimin is talking about. “Oh, really? Did the restaurant happen to be award winning by any chance?”
Jimin nods against the cushion, biting his lip playfully to suppress a grin. “It was. There was a plaque and everything. The family is really kind. And the son is one of the nicest guys I know.”
Jeongguk raises an eyebrow playfully. “Oh, really?”
“Mhm.”
“Is he charming?”
Jimin’s smile widens. “Yes.”
“Handsome?”
“Very.”
Jeongguk hums, stretching his arms across the back of the sofa, sinking into it in much the same way Jimin is. “Sounds like you are very lucky to know a guy like that. They are a rare breed of man.”
Jimin huffs and kicks at Jeongguk’s side playfully with his foot. Jeongguk grabs Jimin’s foot and tugs until Jimin’s legs are resting across his lap. Jeongguk knows he’s being bold flirting so openly, but Jimin doesn’t object, and instead seems very content with the development, settling down comfortably against the sofa with a smile.
The other three join them in the living room, not remotely phased at the position they’re in. They don’t even mention it, and Jimin doesn’t move his legs away. Jeongguk finds himself gently squeezing Jimin’s feet, massaging out the tension from where he has been on his feet all day. Jimin lets out happy little sighs occasionally from beside him.
They finally decide on chicken for delivery. When it arrives, Hoseok spreads all the boxes and containers across the coffee table as Jin puts on the football game just in time for kick off.
Jeongguk likes to watch football as much as the next guy, but he’s more distracted by the man next to him, and he finds himself stealing glances out of the corner of his eye at Jimin, drawing patterns along the material of his sweatpants. Jimin looks like he did at the boat house; relaxed, bare faced, at ease around the people he trusts. It’s so much better than he looked at the shoot that morning. This is why Jeongguk knows Jimin has made the right decision for himself by distancing himself from the industry. He never wanted the limelight in the first place, and he seems far more himself away from it.
“Anyone fancy an ice-cream?” Jeongguk asks when they’ve finished all the chicken, and the boxes now lay empty on the coffee table.
“Ice-cream?” Hoseok turns to look at Seokjin. “Do you have any in the freezer?” Seokjin shakes his head but Jeongguk speaks again.
“I was thinking of going to the 7eleven that’s just down the road. I saw it on my way here, and I’m really craving corn ice-cream. Anyone want one?”
It turns out ice-cream is a popular choice, so Jeongguk writes a note on his phone as everyone tells him what they want, then reluctantly slides Jimin’s legs off him to stand.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Jimin suddenly asks when Jeongguk stands up, “to keep you company, and, uh, hold the ice-creams?”
Jeongguk turns to look at him. “You wanna come?”
Jimin nods. “Sure. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a convenience store, actually. Could be fun.”
Jeongguk smiles. “Lets go then.”
Jimin follows Jeongguk to the door, and they both slide their shoes on. Jimin then slips on a face mask and bucket hat which he pulls low over his eyes.
“Ready?” Jeongguk asks, and Jimin nods. He pulls open the door, and steps out into the hall, Jimin following after.
“You’ve really not gone to a convenience store recently?” Jeongguk asks as they stand in front of the elevator doors, pushing the button.
Jimin hums in thought. “Does the rest-stop we went to on our road trip count?”
Jeongguk purses his lips. “I mean, sort of? But not really. What about before that?”
Jimin shrugs. “There’s a supermarket inside Nine-One Hannam for the residents, and it sells most of the things I need. Anything else I order to be delivered. So this is the first time in… a while.”
“What about when you’re out and about?”
The elevator doors open, and they both step inside, Jeongguk pressing the button for the ground floor.
“I don’t go ‘out and about’, remember?” Jimin says from under his bucket hat. “Only once in a while I’ll go to a club like when you saw me that one time… but even then I don’t hang around and stop off in convenience stores. I don’t just wander around during the day and sit in cafés or parks. But… I want to work on changing that.”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk leans down a bit, tilting his head to look under Jimin’s hat at his eyes. Their eyes meet, and Jimin’s instantly turn into little half moons as he shyly ducks away and bats at Jeongguk’s chest.
“Yeah. It’d be nice to get out more.”
The elevator doors open into the building’s foyer, and the two make their way through it and out onto the dark street outside. Its a quiet residential area, and it’s almost midnight, so no one is around. Even so, Jimin keeps his head ducked.
“No one will notice you, you know?” Jeongguk reassures, glancing around them at the empty street. “I don’t even think there’s anyone around.”
Jimin sighs. “I know. It’s just… habit.”
“I know, I get it.” Jeongguk says in understanding. And he really does get it. He knows Jimin well enough now to know he has certain habits that keep his anxiety at bay. One of them being keeping his face covered when he goes out. Its a way to hide, something he can control, and whatever Jimin needs to do to feel safe is completely fine with Jeongguk. “Don’t worry, if anyone even looks at you I’ll kick their ass.”
This gets a laugh out of Jimin, who seems to relax, gravitating closer to Jeongguk. They walk side by side, falling into a discussion about movie recommendations until they get to the 7eleven. Jeongguk enters the store first, holding the door open for Jimin to follow behind him as they make their way to the ice cream freezer in the far corner. Seokjin, Hoseok and Taehyung had already given them their orders, and Jeongguk knew what ice-cream he wanted before they came, so it’s just Jimin left to choose. He scans all the options, before settling on a melon flavoured ice lolly.
“Excellent choice,” Jeongguk smiles, sliding the freezer door closed and taking the ice-creams to the counter to pay. Jimin hangs back, pretending to look at the ramyeon selection to avoid the cashier.
When the ice-creams are secured and bagged, they return outside into the warm summer night air. It’s almost July and the humidity is rising more and more, the promise of summer rain storms in the air. Once outside, Jeongguk reaches into the plastic bag and takes out his ice-cream to eat as they walk.
“Do you want to have yours now too?” He asks Jimin. Jimin nods, and Jeongguk hands him his ice lolly. Jimin slips his masks down below his chin as he opens it, letting out a satisfied hum when tastes it.
Jeongguk hums a happy tune under his breath as he takes a bite of his corn ice-cream and starts to walk down the quiet street back towards Seokjin’s apartment building, Jimin falling into step beside him. Jimin glances over at Jeongguk a few times as they continue to walk, opening his mouth like he wants to say something, before looking away and licking his ice-cream instead. He does this a few times, something obviously on his mind.
Jeongguk doesn’t force him to talk, nor force a conversation. In fact, he’s comfortable just eating his ice-cream and listening to the sound of their footsteps on the pavement. There are a few street lights which glow amongst the trees that line the road overhead, casting a warm glow over the pavement as they walk.
After a couple of minutes, when they’ve finished their ice creams and disposed of the trash, Jimin seems to steel himself. He takes a deep breath and then walks in front of Jeongguk, putting a hand out to stop him. Jeongguk stops, tilting his head in question, noticing that Jimin looks nervous suddenly.
“Jeongguk-ah...” Jimin’s voice wavers slightly, and he clears his throat. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you… for a little while now actually.” His voice is a little tight as he nibbles at his bottom lip nervously.
Jeongguk smiles as reassuringly as he can. “Yes, hyung?”
Jimin’s cheeks flush red, and he takes another deep breath. “Today was your last day shadowing me right? The two months are up?”
Jeongguk feels his heart sink a little, but he nods. “Yeah hyung. Today was my last day.”
Jimin nods. “Right. So, I was wondering if… uh… maybe… I could take you out some time?”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen in shock, and he thinks his heart might have stopped beating as his mind tries to process if Jimin is really asking him what he thinks he is.
“…take me out?” Jeongguk repeats slowly, more to himself to check that this is actually happening.
Jimin’s eyes are wide with nerves as he puts himself out there, his expression completely vulnerable as he nods. “On- On a date. I’d like to take you out on a date.”
Well fuck. Jimin just asked him out on a date. Jimin asked him. He beat Jeongguk to it. Who’d have thought.
Jeongguk barks out a joyous laugh and Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can speak Jeongguk pulls him into a tight hug, Jimin letting out a little yelp of surprise as he’s enveloped in Jeongguk’s arms.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk whines into the fabric of Jimin’s bucket hat, “I wanted to be the one to ask you.”
Jimin doesn't say anything for a moment, but then he speaks, his small voice slightly muffled against Jeongguk’s neck. “You we’re going to ask me out?”
“Of course I was going to ask you out.” Jeongguk sighs happily, holding Jimin tighter. “I like you so much Park Jimin. I can’t get you out of my head. In all the best ways.”
Jimin’s arms come up to wrap around Jeongguk’s back and he lets out a shaky exhale, body relaxing and going practically limp with relief. “I like you too Jeongguk-ah.”
Jeongguk’s heart feels like it might explode out of his chest. Jimin likes him. Jimin, who is so naturally shy, managed to muster up the courage to ask him out at midnight, in the middle of the street on their way back from the convenience store with a bag of melting ice creams.
Jeongguk can’t help but laugh to himself, because he’d been trying to come up with this whole plan on how to ask Jimin out, thinking he had to woo the man and make it special, but what could be any more special than this? Because this is just so them. This is so Jimin. Open and honest, always wearing his heart on his sleeve.
Jeongguk begrudgingly lets Jimin go after a few minutes of hugging, grinning at him like the cat that got the cream. “So, you’re going to take me on a date, huh?”
Jimin nods, his cheeks flushed red as he smiles up at him. But then his smile turns into a slight frown. “The only thing is, uh, I don’t really know how yet. I didn’t think that far ahead.” He reaches out and tugs at the hem of Jeongguk’s t-shirt, absentmindedly playing with the fabric. “I can’t really take you to a bar or restaurant. I mean, I could. Obviously two men can eat at a restaurant without it meaning something to anyone else. But I think I’d just feel a bit exposed you know? And I want to be somewhere where I can focus one hundred percent on you.” He nibbles at his bottom lip as he thinks for a moment. “Maybe you could come to my apartment?”
Jeongguk mulls it over. Of course he loves Jimin’s place, but the actor spends ninety percent of his time there. He knows Jimin wants to get out more, and Jeongguk wants their first date to be special. And he has an idea.
“Okay hyung, I know technically you asked me out, but I know this really nice area we could go to next to the Han river. It’s not a popular area at all,” he quickly reassures when he sees Jimin‘s unsure expression. “Honestly, it’s not really a place that anyone would typically choose to go to, but I like to sit there sometimes on my runs. Its tucked out of the way, but it has a beautiful view across the river. We could go late at night so no one would be around. Maybe have a picnic? What do you think?”
Jimin seems to consider this, and then he nods. “Okay.”
“Yeah? We can relax and eat there. You wont have to feel pressured being in a public place, but also you wont be tucked away in Nine One Hannam.”
Jimin smiles. “That sounds perfect Jeongguk-ah.”
Jeongguk returns his smile. “Okay then, it’s a date.”
“It’s a date.” Jimin repeats softly, as if he can’t quite believe it.
“When did you want to go?”
Jimin tilts his head in thought. “Are you free tomorrow evening?”
“Can’t wait any longer, huh?” Jeongguk teases, wiggling his eyebrows playfully and Jimin giggles, pretending to hit his chest.
“Shush you. I’ve waited long enough,” Jimin blushes. “What shall we eat? I haven’t had a real date like this in… well ever.”
“Leave it all to me. I have a good idea.”
“So you’re taking me out then?” Jimin teases with a grin.
“We’re taking each other out.” Jeongguk counters and Jimin snorts.
“Sounds good to me. So what’s your idea?”
“It’s a surprise.” Jeongguk says teasingly.
Jimin rolls his eyes. “Why does everything have to be a surprise with you?”
“Because surprises are fun, and I think you’ll really like what I have in store. Just bring your cute little self, and leave it to me. Okay?”
Jimin averts his eyes, his cheeks tinged pink again. “Okay.”
Only when Jeongguk feels the condensation of the bag touch his leg does he remember about the ice creams that are quietly melting in the heat. “Let’s get back to the others,” he holds up the bag, “before these completely melt.”
Jimin giggles and nods in agreement. Jeongguk, suddenly feeling bold, glances around to make sure they’re alone, and then slips his hand into Jimin’s own, their fingers lacing together so naturally between them. They both seem to walk with a little skip in their step, and when they get inside the elevator in Seokjin’s apartment building, Jimin tugs Jeongguk into another hug, his cheeks red and his eyes sparkling as he presses a chaste kiss to Jeongguk’s cheek.
“I can’t wait for tomorrow.”
“Me too, hyung.”
———
Jeongguk is going on a date with Jimin. The Park Jimin.
If he had told the Jeongguk from three months ago that he was going on a date with Jimin, he probably would have had an aneurism for a completely different reason. But he’s changed so much since then. He almost feels like a different person. A better person. Really, getting to know Jimin has humbled him tenfold. He’s learned you can’t judge anyone from the way others speak about them.
After spending these past two months shadowing Jimin for his article, Jeongguk has come to find that Jimin is the kindest, sweetest, most gentle person, whose anxiety and crippling shyness has been misconstrued as arrogance, anger, and aggression. He wishes he could go back to the Jeongguk who first met Jimin and shake some sense into him. So much time had been wasted after the bad first impression on both sides. But despite the rocky start, their relationship has blossomed, and Jeongguk is so incredibly thankful to have had the privilege of getting to know the real Jimin.
Jeongguk feels a rush of excitement thrum under his skin as he walks down through Itaewon, towards Nine One Hannam. It’s dark out, there’s a buzz of cicadas in the air and the humidity seems more stifling than ever. Jeongguk had suggested they meet close to midnight, that way they could be certain no one will interrupt their date, or even if there are passers-by, they wont be able to recognise Jimin in the darkness. All of this might seem extreme to some, but Jeongguk is determined to make Jimin as comfortable as he can on this date, just like he had been while in Jeongguk’s home town. He wants it to be perfect.
He cuts down the back passages of the old part of Hannam which lead to the shiny new development by the river. Jimin told him to dress comfortably, but he still wants to make an effort to look good, so he’s dressed in a black button down dress shirt, open a little at the top to show his chest, his favourite black jeans and boots completing the look. His long hair is pulled into a half ponytail, the dark strands parted across his forehead and curling around his neck. He’s carrying a bag with everything he needs for the date.
Jimin has sent him a location just down the road from Nine One Hannam where they can meet and walk together to the date spot. At that part of the river there is just a footpath and a bike lane for people who are riding along the riverside. Luckily Jeongguk knows a little jetty which is perfect for their date. It’s an equal distance from both of their apartments, so Jeongguk is pretty proud of himself for suggesting the location.
It’s just before midnight when Jeongguk reaches their meeting place, just in front of the entrance of an underpass which leads down to the riverfront. Jimin is already there, leaning against the wall, a bag in his hand as he looks down at his phone. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jeongguk knows Jimin so well by now, he wouldn’t have recognised him. Jimin has done a good job of hiding his features as usual, his hat low, and a mask covering his face. He wears a soft white T-shirt which has a wide neckline, tucked into a pair of fitted jeans with his well worn Chelsea boots on his feet. He looks gorgeous, and Jeongguk honestly can’t believe he’s the lucky one who gets to go on a date with Jimin.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk calls out at he approaches.
Jimin looks up, his eyes instantly turning into little half moons as he smiles behind his mask, sliding his phone into his pocket. “Jeongguk-ah. You’re here. You look… really handsome.”
Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat. “So do you, hyung,” he says, tweaking the brim of Jimin’s hat playfully.
Jimin touches his hat the same way Jeongguk just had. “I’ll take all this stuff off when we get to the picnic spot. You said it’s private right?”
“Yeah. No one goes there. Except me, of course.”
Jimin smiles up at him again. “Good because it took me ages to style my hair.”
Jeongguk laughs, pulling Jimin into a hug, nose filling with his soft orange blossom scent as Jimin hugs him back. They separate, and Jeongguk gestures down the steps of the underpass. “We actually have to go this way, so this was a good choice of meeting point.” They fall into step together as they walk down into the deserted tunnel.
When they reach the river front, Jeongguk looks up and down the dimly lit footpath that he runs down regularly, and just as he predicted theres not a soul in sight. “See? No one for miles,” he says to Jimin with a grin.
“Miles, huh?” Jimin says, glancing around before confidently slipping his hand into Jeongguk’s.
Jeongguk feels a rush of electricity run up his arm from the touch, tightening his hand around Jimin’s and giving it a little squeeze. They walk up the river a little before Jeongguk leads Jimin off the main path, using his phone torch to lead them through a few rows of bushes and shrubs towards the waterfront. To anyone else this route looks like it leads nowhere except directly into the water of the Han river. Jeongguk himself only found the spot by accident one day on a run.
They walk a little further until they reach some concrete steps which disappear down into the river for access at low-tide. Next to them is a jetty area which juts out into the river where boats can moor. It’s a little overgrown in parts, evidence that it’s not used, weeds growing through cracks in the concrete. The large overgrown shrubs and bushes shielding them from the path make it unnoticeable, and perfect.
“We’re here,” Jeongguk says, begrudgingly letting go of Jimin’s hand to pocket his phone and open up the bag he’s holding, pulling out a rolled up plaid picnic blanket. He shakes it open, and Jimin grabs the other end to help lay it out. Jeongguk then pulls out a small portable lantern which he turns on and sets in the centre of the blanket, casting just the right amount of lighting for an intimate feel.
“I’ve never had a picnic before,” Jimin says as he kneels down onto the picnic blanket, taking off his mask and hat. He looks stunning, his hair styled and a little dusting of makeup around his eyes. Jeongguk almost has to pinch himself to make sure this isn’t a dream.
“Picnicking is integral to the Han river experience. Or so I’ve heard… Im still pretty new around here,” Jeongguk shrugs and Jimin giggles. Jeongguk bites at his lip, suddenly feeling nervous. “Is this okay? Do you like it?”
Jimin nods, kicking off his boots and folding his legs under himself on the blanket. He smiles, the warm glow of the lamp lighting up his pretty face. “I love it. This is perfect Jeongguk-ah. Lets just hope it doesn’t rain.”
“It wouldn’t dare,” Jeongguk shakes his head stubbornly, “and if it does then we will just have a picnic in the rain. Deal?”
Jimin giggles, “Deal.”
Jeongguk takes his own boots off, dropping down onto the blanket next to Jimin with a grunt. He rummages in his bag, pulling out a portable gas stove and a tray for grilling meat, setting them both up off the blanket on the ground in front of them.
“This is a fancy looking picnic,” Jimin comments, sounding impressed.
Jeongguk grins. “I remember you said one time that you wanted to sit outside at a barbecue restaurant and eat meat endlessly until you throw up-”
“I never said I wanted to throw up!” Jimin laughs, hitting Jeongguk’s shoulder playfully.
Jeongguk raises his hands, “I’m just filling in the blanks, hyung. Anyway, this is a better alternative to those restaurants.” He pulls out a container filled with pork meat that he had marinated overnight. “Jeon Jeongguk’s famous grilled meat,” he grins, holding up the container, and Jimin giggles. “You wont find any better in the whole of Seoul. Even though my mother specialises in seafood, she does a mean grilled pork. This is her recipe that she taught me. I hope you’re hungry.”
“I am,” Jimin nods, looking around at the setup. He sighs happily, drawing his legs up and wrapping his arms around his knees. “Thank you, for doing this. And please thank mama Jeon too.”
“Mama Jeon,” Jeongguk repeats with a chuckle, “you’re so freaking cute.”
Jimin ducks his head, a blush on his checks and a soft smile on his lips. Jeongguk busies himself with turning on the gas stove so he doesn’t pull Jimin into his lap and kiss him stupid right there and then.
Jimin reaches for the bag he’d bought, pulling out a bottle of wine and two plastic wine glasses. He shows it to Jeongguk. “I was going to bring soju but I thought wine would be more romantic? I read online that this wine is really nice.” He looks down at the label on the bottle before looking back up at Jeongguk. “Oh- do you like wine? I should have asked…”
Jeongguk nods. “I do like wine.”
Jimin smiles in relief, pouring Jeongguk a glass, before pouring his own.
A boat passes them on the far side of the river, it’s wake breaking against the bank in front of them, the sound of the waves mixing with the sound of the cicadas in the trees.
“This is amazing, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin sighs, leaning back on his hands, his gaze on the river. “I haven’t really… well, I’ve never been on a proper date before. Not like this.”
Jeongguk frowns. “You haven’t?”
Jimin shakes his head, fingers tracing along the pattern of the plaid blanket. “I told you I dated that guy when I was younger right?” Jeongguk nods and Jimin continues. “That was the only relationship I’ve ever had, if you can even call it a relationship,” he snorts, “and well, we mostly used to just sneak around to motels. I was still exploring my sexuality at the time, figuring myself out, you know? And he was just happy to get laid. So there wasn’t really any romance involved from the beginning.” Jimin scoffs, shaking his head. “I don’t really know why I let it go on for that long. I guess I was just happy to have someone, you know? I liked feeling wanted. Anyway, since that ended so messily I vowed never to date again. I started going to clubs to find strangers to hook up with whenever I felt lonely… which at one point was quite often.”
Jimin sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not proud of it. I guess I just got used to that lifestyle. I thought it was all I could have. I never saw myself being in a happy relationship because I never thought I could trust someone again. So yeah, I guess you could say this is my first real date.”
Jimin looks up to meet Jeongguk’s gaze and his expression softens. “Jeongguk-ah, don’t look at me like that, you don’t need to feel sorry for me.”
Jeongguk huffs, reaching out to gently tuck a piece of Jimin’s hair behind his ear. “I just feel so sad that you didn’t have anyone, you know? Figuring out your sexuality, trying to hide it while under the spotlight, sneaking around and being screwed over by your asshole of an ex… plus everything your parents put you through. You’ve been through a lot, hyung, and you didn’t deserve any of it.”
Jimin hums, leaning into Jeongguk’s touch. “Remember, I had Hobi-hyung, so I wasn’t completely alone. And I have you looking out for me now, Jeongguk-ah.” Jeongguk reluctantly pulls his hand back and Jimin looks out across the water, sighing quietly. “I’m just sorry that I can’t take you out on a proper date like a normal person. I’m making you sneak around with me too, just like back then.”
“Hyung, you’re not making me do anything,” Jeongguk quickly reassures. “It’s completely different, so please don’t talk like that. If I was in your position I wouldn’t have been able to cope with it half as well as you have. You’re doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe, and I have absolutely no problem with that. So please, go at your own pace, and I’ll be right here with you. Step by step. Remember, I’m on your side.” Jeongguk holds up his pinky finger, just like he had that night on Jin’s balcony. “I promise. I’ll always be on your side.”
Jimin looks at Jeongguk’s hand and smiles, linking his pinky with Jeongguk’s. “I know. I trust you Jeongguk-ah.”
“Good.” Jeongguk lifts Jimin’s hand and presses a kiss to the back of it, making Jimin blush all over again. It’s cute how easy it is to make him blush, Jeongguk thinks he might be getting addicted. He smiles happily to himself as he turns and gets started with the grill, hovering a hand over it to check that it’s hot enough, before placing on some of the pork which sizzles loudly.
“It smells amazing,” Jimin says as he shuffles closer to Jeongguk, resting his chin on Jeongguk’s shoulder to watch him cook the meat. Jimin’s hair brushes Jeongguk’s cheek and Jeongguk’s heart flutters. He turns his head slightly, taking in the slope of Jimin’s nose, and the smattering of barely-there freckles on his cheeks. His eyes dip down to Jimin’s lips just as the blonde looks up at him, a knowing smile on his lips.
“Am I distracting you?” Jimin asks coyly.
“No,” Jeongguk lies. He’s extremely distracted.
Jimin grins, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing to Jeongguk. His eyes flicker down to Jeongguk’s lips for a second before he meets his eyes again. “Don’t burn the meat.”
“Huh?” Jeongguk replies not at all eloquently, still staring at Jimin’s lips.
Jimin giggles, nodding his head towards the grill. “The meat Jeongguk-ah.” He lifts his head from Jeongguk’s shoulder and nudges him playfully, which seems to snap Jeongguk back to reality.
He’s not used to flirty jimin. He doesn’t think he can survive it. His heart is beating so loudly he fears Jimin might hear.
Jeongguk distracts himself by opening a few containers of various side dishes, spreading them out in front of them. When the meat is done he moves it to the side of the grill away from the heat. “Help yourself,” he grins as he passes Jimin some chopsticks, “and be careful how much you complement me, it might go to my head. I pride myself on how humble I am.”
Jimin giggles, picking up a piece of pork with his chopsticks and eating it. His eyes widen. “Mm, that’s so good,” he groans, before eating some more.
Jeongguk feels triumphant as he eats some himself, the sweet and spicy marinade perfect with the tender pork. “Oh wow, that is good. You know, I had to call my mother to double check the recipe, to make sure I got it right.”
“Oh really?” Jimin asks as they eat. “How is she? How is your family?”
“They’re all doing well.” Jeongguk pours them both some more wine. “My brother has been getting some great catches recently. My mother said to tell you to come and visit them again, she wants to cook you more food.”
Jimin giggles. “I really want to go back. I think about that trip often you know. Some mornings I wake up and for a second before I open my eyes I hope I’ll see the wooden ceilings of the boat house. I’m always disappointed when it’s just the tall ceilings of my apartment.”
“Me too,” Jeongguk sighs wistfully. “Waking up next to you, the sound of the ocean, you wearing my t-shirt,” Jeongguk smiles when he sees Jimin blush a little. “It’s the perfect combination for me.”
They fall into comfortable conversation as they continue to eat and drink the wine, talking about everything and nothing, their likes and dislikes, more movie recommendations, their favourite music, learning all they can about each other. Being with Jimin is effortless, the conversation flowing so easily. When they’ve finished eating they pack away the empty containers and rubbish, a content mood falling over them as they gaze out at the river together.
“I’m not really sure what I’ll do after my retirement from acting, but I know I want to dance.” Jimin says as he hugs his knees, leaning his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder as they watch the city lights reflecting on the water. “Hobi-hyung said he’s going to quit when I do.”
“He said that?” Jeongguk’s eyebrows shoot up.
Jimin nods, hair brushing Jeongguk’s jaw. “He only ever stayed for me. Because he knows how much I rely on him. Too much really,” Jimin says, voice full of unspoken regrets. “His dream has always been to do something with dance, too. He said he wants to open a dance academy one day. He’s always said that’s his dream, ever since we were in the dorms together. But he came to work with me because he could see that I would buckle under the pressure without him.”
“He really loves you.”
Jimin nods, smiling as he looks out at the twinkling buildings on the other side of the river. “I love him too. He’s my family. But I’ve always felt like I’ve been holding him back. I worry that deep down he might come to resent me for it, to regret his decision to stay with me. Maybe after all this is over he can finally reach his full potential.”
Jeongguk wraps his arm around Jimin and reaches up to stroke his hair, massaging his head a few times in an act of comfort and reassurance. “He’s supported you because he loves you, hyung. You said it yourself, you guys are family. He definitely doesn’t regret it.”
Jimin hums softly, but he doesn’t seem convinced. Jeongguk can feel the guilt roll of him, so decides on a subject change. “You know, you haven’t shown me your dancing yet. Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you said you’d show me one day.”
“That’s true. I did say that.”
Jeongguk moves away from Jimin and jumps up, offering his hand to the blonde. “Let’s do it.”
Jimin looks up at him in confusion. “Huh?”
“Dance with me.”
Jimin laughs, looking at Jeongguk’s outstretched hand in disbelief. “Here, now?”
“Why not?”
“Well, for one we’re in public.”
Jeongguk looks around them, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t see anyone.”
“I- there’s no music.” Jimin looks at Jeongguk in disbelief, yet he gives him his hand and lets Jeongguk tug him to standing.
“I can sing,” Jeongguk counteracts with a grin, “or did you forget I’m an ace at karaoke?”
“You really want to dance with me right now?”
Jeongguk nods, holding out his arms. “I really do.”
Jimin huffs, shaking his head with a shy smile. “You’re always blindsiding me, Jeon Jeongguk. I never know what to expect when I’m with you.”
Jeongguk grins. “I like to keep you on your toes.”
Jimin nods gently, his eyes turning into little half moons. “I like it. There’s never a dull day with you around.”
Jeongguk chuckles and then bows dramatically, holding out his hand. “Park Jimin, may I have this dance?”
Jimin snorts, before stepping closer and placing his hand in Jeongguk’s. “Okay. But I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Really?”
Jimin shakes his head. “I’ve only ever danced solo routines… I’ve never danced with another person before.”
Jeongguk smiles softly. “We’ll have to fix that then won’t we. Get over here.” He wraps his arm around Jimin’s waist and pulls him in close, threading the fingers of his other hand together with Jimin’s. “I also have no idea what I’m doing by the way,” Jeongguk admits, and Jimin laughs, “but it can’t be that hard. You just sort of sway, right?” He starts to lead Jimin, swaying side to side as he sings a song gently between them.
Jeongguk half expects Jimin to get embarrassed and push him away. He thinks most people would. It’s a little cheesy, right? Slow dancing by the river like they’re in some kind of black and white Hollywood film. It’s something that a lot of people would probably find ridiculous, or embarrassing, shooting the idea down instantly. It happened a lot to Jeongguk when he was growing up, being the overly playful one amongst shy friends.
But to Jeongguk’s surprise Jimin doesn’t get embarrassed, or push him away. Instead Jimin leans into him, laying his head in the crook of Jeongguk’s shoulder. Jeongguk lets his eyes fall closed, resting his cheek on Jimin’s head. He fell for Jimin for so many reasons just like this. He’s so kind, so honest, so open, and he trusts Jeongguk enough that he will happily go along with him and his wild ideas.
“This is nice,” Jimin sighs as he lifts his head, slipping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck. His eyes are closed, his cheek brushing against Jeongguk’s cheek, nose bumping his jaw. “Being with you. Here. Like this. It’s really nice.”
Jeongguk feels completely enraptured by Jimin. It’s something he’s never experienced with anyone else before. To be so completely consumed by someone you feel in in your very being. He’s never been in love, but he’s pretty sure it must feel something like this.
He strokes up and down Jimin’s back as they sway slowly, switching between singing and humming a medley of his favourite songs. He presses his fingers into the skin at Jimin’s waist, savouring the way Jimin’s breath hitches in surprise as he pulls him impossibly closer, their body’s moulding together.
Jimin lifts his head and opens his eyes, his pupils slightly glazed over as he gazes up at Jeongguk. His fingers tighten on Jeongguk’s shoulders, and Jeongguk can feel both of their heartbeats thundering in tandem where their chests are pressed together.
“Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin whispers as their noses bump. Jeongguk feels a rush under his skin, making goosebumps rise in its wake even in the summer heat. Jimin’s lips brush over his just slightly, feather light, and his eyelashes flutter closed. “Jeong-”
At that moment, the rain finally decides to come, and its as if the sky has suddenly opened, the heavy summer rain pouring down on them like someone has turned on a shower above their heads. The pair jump apart, their moment literally doused with water. Jimin gasps, his arms coming up to cover his head as the rain instantly soaks them both.
“Fuck, seriously?!” Jeongguk curses the sky.
“Oh no! The picnic!” Jimin shouts over the noise of the rain.
The two scramble to clear up the picnic, stuffing everything into the bags. The rain is falling in torrents, and the picnic blanket is already soaked, making it much heavier as the pair try to pick it up. One of the corners slips from Jimin’s hand and makes a comical ‘plop’ as it lands on the floor between them.
Jimin starts to giggle, and Jeongguk joins him, and before long they are both doubling over in hysterics at the ridiculousness of the situation. After managing to fold up the soaking wet blanket, and hastily packing away their wet belongings, Jeongguk takes Jimin’s hand and pulls him along as they run down the riverbank. They eventually reach the underpass and shelter under it, chests heaving as they put their bags on the ground and stand to watch the curtain of rain from the opening of the tunnel.
Jimin leans against the wall, dropping his head back against the concrete as he catches his breath. He lets out a breathless laugh, pushing his wet hair out of his face. “Well, that was an interesting development for our first date.” He raises a teasing eyebrow at Jeongguk, crossing his arms. “You said the rain wouldn’t dare come.”
“I really thought it wouldn’t,” Jeongguk whines in disbelief. “Why did this have to be the one day the forecast is actually correct?”
Jimin snorts, shaking his head with a smile. “At least the rain waited until we finished our picnic.”
Jeongguk hums in agreement, reaching up to take out his half ponytail, slipping the hair band onto his wrist before running both hands through his long wet hair. He ruffles it a few times to shake out some of the water, then pushes it back from his face. When he looks up at Jimin he finds the blonde watching him intently, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. He has a hungry look in his eyes, and Jeongguk is suddenly very aware of how wet they are… how wet Jimin is.
He takes in the way Jimin’s wet skin seems to glisten, even in the low light of the underpass. The way his white T-shirt has almost turned see through, sticking to his body like a second skin. The way his tight black jeans look even tighter.
They stare at each other, the tension between them growing electric. Jimin runs a hand through his wet hair, his gaze heated. With his hair pushed back Jimin looks less soft, and more dangerous. His duality is enough to drive Jeongguk crazy.
“So, where to now?” Jimin asks, breaking the silent staring contest they were having. “The rain doesn’t look like it will stop any time soon…” He shifts, pushing off the wall and taking a step towards Jeongguk, slipping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and pressing their bodies together. His eyes dip to Jeongguk’s lips, and back up again. “I don’t want our date to end yet.”
Jeongguk’s heart lurches, his face suddenly burning. He wraps his arms around Jimin’s waist, pressing their foreheads together. “I know just the place,” he whispers knowingly, and Jimin’s lips pull into a beautiful smile.
They grab their bags, and Jeongguk takes Jimin’s hand before running out of the underpass in the direction of his apartment without another word. Jimin doesn’t even ask where they are going, happy to follow Jeongguk anywhere he leads him. The rain is falling even heavier now, and they are soaked through, both of them laughing as they run through the deserted streets together. Jimin is laughing so much at one point that he almost trips over his own feet, chest heaving as he wipes the rain from his eyes. Jeongguk finds himself breathless too as he leads them through the winding back alleys towards his apartment.
The glow of the street lamps, and the neon lights of the restaurants reflect off the puddles which collect in the cracks of the pavement. The falling rain sends ripples across the surface, making it feel as if the lights are dancing. The two of them splash through the colourful puddles, Jimin’s laughter sweet and playful, and the whole moment feels almost magical.
Jeongguk thinks he could write a whole novel about just this one night.
“This is your place?” Jimin asks breathlessly when they make it back to Jeongguk’s unassuming apartment building.
Jeongguk nods as he leads Jimin up the stairs to the third floor. When they reach his door, Jeongguk keys in his code, and it beeps as the door unlocks. They step into his apartment and he drops his bag and kicks off his wet boots, fumbling to turn on the lamp closest to him which illuminates the room with a warm glow.
Jimin puts his bag down and undoes his boots, pulling them off and stepping into the cozy space, his eyes scanning the room like he can’t take it all in fast enough. He looks around at the piles and piles of books which fill the room, the old worn out sofa, the dozens of plants placed around the room on different shelves and surfaces, the vintage record player in the corner.
Jimin’s attention is quickly stolen by the fish tank glowing against the wall. He walks to it slowly, brushing his wet hair out of his face as he bends down to greet the goldfish he has heard so much about. Jeongguk walks to the bathroom to grab a towel, quickly turning on the other lamps in his apartment before walking back to Jimin, seeing him run a careful fingertip along the front of the glass tank, a gentle smile on his face.
“They really do look like popcorn.”
“The bigger one is Namjoon. The other one is Yoongi,” Jeongguk grunts as he pulls off his soaking wet shirt, sighing in relief at not having the fabric clinging to his skin anymore. He throws the wet piece of clothing over the back of a nearby chair, and starts to dry his hair with the towel. He grins at the sight of his fish swimming around the tank energetically, probably hoping to be fed even though he had already fed them before he left for the date. “They look excited to meet you. I’ve never seen Yoongi move so quickly.”
Jimin turns to Jeongguk with a smile, opening his mouth to say something before he stops, his eyes widening. He straightens up, taking in the sight of Jeongguk standing there shirtless, towelling at his dark hair that almost reaches his shoulders. Jimin’s eyes drift down Jeongguk’s body, and his throat bobs as he swallows, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. Jeongguk feels the energy in the room shift, sees the hunger in Jimin’s eyes and the way his gaze lingers. Feeling a mix of nervousness and anticipation, Jeongguk takes a step closer, the space between them diminishing, the atmosphere crackling with unspoken tension.
Jeongguk holds Jimin’s gaze as he reaches up with his towel to softly dry Jimin’s wet hair, rubbing the strands gently. He brushes the damp skin of Jimin’s neck with the towel and Jimin’s shoulders rise as he sighs deeply, his head lulling to the side, leaning into Jeongguk’s touch like he’s finally been given the very thing he has been craving.
"…Hyung," Jeongguk whispers, his voice filled with a mixture of hope and uncertainty. He sets aside the towel and reaches out tentatively, his fingers grazing Jimin's cheek, tracing a delicate path along his jawline. Jimin’s breath hitches, his eyelids falling closed as he leans into the touch.
The room falls silent, the sound of the rain pattering against the balcony window the only background music to their unspoken desires. Jimin's lips curve into a tender smile as he reaches up, running a hand through Jeongguk’s hair, pushing a few strands behind his ear. His touch is featherlight, sending shivers down Jeongguk's spine, fanning the flame that has ignited between them.
Jimin’s eyes flicker down to Jeongguk’s lips, and the air around them seems to shimmer with anticipation. Jeongguk’s emotions finally reach a breaking point, and he closes the remaining distance between them, his hand sliding from Jimin's cheek to his nape as their lips meet in a tender, electrifying kiss that sends sparks through Jeongguk’s body.
Kissing Jimin feels like coming home. In that moment Jeongguk knows he’ll never be able to go another day of his life without kissing Jimin, not now that he knows just how sweet he tastes.
Jimin’s lips are soft and plush as they move against his, and Jeongguk revels in the small sounds he is able to pull from him as he gently kisses and nips at them. Jimin responds instinctively, his lips parting, inviting Jeongguk in, and Jeongguk deepens the kiss, their mouths moulding together, tongues gently brushing against each other.
Jimin sighs against Jeongguk’s lips, and Jeongguk can’t help but wonder in the back of his mind when the last time Jimin has been kissed like this was. His past relationship had left him so scared of emotional intimacy that since then, he had only ever indulged in rushed one night stands with strangers in the back of dark clubs, or motels. But Jimin deserves so much more than that. He deserves to be adored, to be told how wonderful he is, how kind and beautiful. He deserves to be smothered in praise, and love, and pleasure, and Jeongguk is more than happy to oblige. And from the way Jimin is arching into Jeongguk’s every touch, it seems he has been longing for it just as much.
Their hands roam, tracing the curves of each other's bodies, imprinting them to memory. Jimin’s fingers tangle in Jeongguk’s hair, pulling him closer, their bodies pressing against each other, the heat between them building with an unstoppable force with every stolen breath and every gentle caress. Jimin’s body trembles in Jeongguk’s embrace, and he suddenly remembers that Jimin is still dressed in his wet clothes. Jeongguk breaks the kiss, wanting to get Jimin out of his wet T-shirt, but Jimin instantly chases after his lips again, determined hands tugging him back.
“Jeongguk-ah…” Jimin murmurs as he kisses Jeongguk again, not wanting to stop even for a moment.
Jeongguk smiles against Jimin’s lips, cupping Jimin’s face gently in his hands. “You are the most wonderful person Park Jimin, do you know that?” he asks between tender kisses. “So beautiful.” Kiss “So kind.” Kiss “So strong.” Kiss “The shit you go through, and yet you’ve never let it turn you into a bad person. God, I fucking adore you so much, you don’t even know the half of it.”
Jimin’s breath catches as Jeongguk presses kisses all over his face, on his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, whispering gentle words of adoration between each kiss, trying to say everything that has been growing inside of him for the past two months. Fuck he has so much that he wants so say. As someone who has always been overflowing with words, he finds it difficult to hold them back. They come out like a dam bursting, and Jimin seems to soak up the endless praise.
“Jeongguk-ah…” Jimin’s breath hitches as Jeongguk’s hands caress his waist, before tugging at the hem of his wet shirt. Jimin lifts his arms above his head as Jeongguk peels the wet fabric off him and tosses it aside, the messy strands of his damp hair tangling in his eyelashes. Jeongguk gently brushes Jimin’s hair back from his face, stroking down his neck and over his shoulders, the tender touch leaving a trail of goosebumps on his soft skin.
Jimin’s cheeks are flushed, his eyes dazed, his chest rising and falling as he reaches out for Jeongguk again, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, their bare chests pressed together. “You are everything I could ever want and need, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin whispers, their noses brushing. “Thank you for supporting me, and for giving me strength. I… I never would have had the courage to do all the things I’ve done these past few weeks if it wasn’t for you. You’ve changed my life.”
Jeongguk’s stomach swoops at the words. Jimin wants him. Jimin needs him. He thinks he needs Jimin just as much, if not more.
Jeongguk presses wet kisses down Jimin’s neck, nipping gently at the soft skin. Jimin’s eyes fall closed, his head falling to the side to give Jeongguk better access. “I w-want to know everything about you, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin stutters, “I want to b-be greedy with you.” His words stick in his throat a little as Jeongguk drags his lips across the sensitive skin behind his ear, but still his words keep tumbling out. “I want to k-keep you all to myself, j-just for me.”
Jeongguk feels a tug in his chest at the deeper meaning behind Jimin’s words, because Jimin has never had anything in his life that was just his. His life hasn’t even been his. Jimin’s parents and his company have dictated everything he has done up until this point. Jimin has been told how to act, how to dress, how to do his hair, how to speak, what to eat, who to talk to. He has always had people make decisions for him.
But Jeongguk is his decision. With Jeongguk, he has something that he can call his.
“I’m yours,” Jeongguk whispers, as he presses their lips together in a passionate kiss that he hopes conveys just how much he means it. “I’m all yours hyung.”
Jimin moans against his lips and Jeongguk feels any remaining restraint he has snap. He runs his hands down Jimin’s sides and over his ass, grabbing him under his thighs and lifting him up into his arms. Jimin goes readily, wrapping his legs around Jeongguk’s waist, pressing kisses to his neck as Jeongguk walks them to his bedroom.
Jeongguk lays Jimin gently onto his bed, and Jimin pulls him down with him, not allowing even an inch of space to open up between them. Jeongguk can’t help but laugh against Jimin’s lips as his feet slip out from under him and they ends up in a tangle of limbs, the sheets billowing around them.
The sound of their breaths mingle with the patter of the rain falling against the window. It’s peaceful. Comforting. There’s an air of safety around them, like the world outside can’t possibly get in.
“…Do you feel safe here? With me?” Jeongguk hears himself ask as Jimin’s thighs tighten around his hips, the material of their wet jeans feeling far too restrictive. Jimin looks surprised, like he didn’t expect Jeongguk to ask something like that. Maybe he didn’t, considering most people in Jimin’s life don’t care about his feelings. But how can Jeongguk not care when Jimin consumes all of his thoughts?
“Why do you ask?” Jimin whispers.
“Because I want you to feel safe. With me. Like this.”
Jimin blinks for a moment before he smiles, a beautiful smile which lights up his hazy eyes, making him look even more blissful. He reaches up, pushing Jeongguk’s hair away from his face, threading his fingers through the damp strands. Jeongguk turns his face to press a kiss to the inside of Jimin’s wrist.
“I do,” Jimin whispers, “I feel safe here, with you.” He bites his lip like he isn’t sure if he wants to say the next words. “It probably sounds stupid, but … I didn’t know it was supposed to feel like this.”
Jeongguk smiles as he leans in to kiss Jimin again. He can see how safe Jimin feels. He can see it in the way Jimin opens up under him so readily. The way his arms fall above his head, tangling in the sheets as he allows Jeongguk to just look at him- to take him in. The way he gazes at Jeongguk with heavy eyes and kiss-reddened lips. That spurs Jeongguk on- so fucking much. There’s a rushing feeling in his chest, a flame, a longing. He can see it in Jimin’s eyes too as he dives in to kiss him deeply. Fire on fire.
“Jimin…” Jeongguk whispers against Jimin’s ear, pressing kisses to the sensitive skin behind it. Jimin doesn’t fail to notice him drop the honourifics, his breath hitching. “I just have to warn you…” Jeongguk presses a kiss against Jimin’s parted lips again before he sits back on his knees, unbuttoning Jimin’s jeans with a teasing smile, “…that this is only the beginning of the night.” He bites at his bottom lip as Jimin readily lifts his hips and allows Jeongguk to peel his jeans off, his boxers which are also wet from the rain are caught in the material and slip off too, leaving Jimin completely bare beneath him.
Jeongguk takes a moment to just look at Jimin, to take all of him in, laid out naked among his sheets. He is awe stricken at how utterly beautiful Jimin is. His body is like a sculpture, his slim waist and the strong muscles of his thighs telling of how Jimin dances much more often than he has let on. His skin looks almost airbrushed, soft and unblemished. He’s fucking art. It makes Jeongguk want to grab his pen and write. He feels like the words he could pen at this moment would rival Shakespeare.
Jimin watches Jeongguk’s expression closely, letting out a content hum as his legs fall apart. “I like when you look at me like that,” he murmurs softly, “you make me feel beautiful.”
“You are beautiful,” Jeongguk sighs as his hands caress Jimin’s skin, stroking up his legs, his hips, his waist, feeling the muscles twitch under his touch as Jimin lets out gentle gasps and whimpers between unsteady breaths.
Jeongguk sits up again to rid himself of his wet jeans and boxers, and then carefully lowers himself back on top of Jimin, revelling at the feeling of Jimin’s bare skin against his. Jimin’s breath hitches as their cocks slot together, his eyes drifting closed as Jeongguk starts to grind his hips in a steady rhythm, pressing kisses along his jaw.
“Jeongguk…” Jimin groans breathlessly in his ear, as he wraps his legs around Jeongguk’s waist, “I w-want you… I want you inside me, p-please.”
Jeongguk nods, pulling back to press their foreheads together. “Tell me if its too much, if you want to stop at any point.” He reaches across Jimin to the bedside table, taking out the lube and condoms he has stored there and dropping them onto the bed before driving down to capture Jimin’s lips again. They kiss and move against each other, both of them losing theirselves to the blissful feeling. Jeongguk kisses down Jimin’s throat and across his collarbones, moving down to take one of his nipples into his mouth. Jimin arches off the bed with a gasp, threading his hands into Jeongguk’s hair as Jeongguk continues to worship his body, exploring and kissing every inch of him until he gets to where he wants to be.
He settles between Jimin’s legs, nipping and sucking at the skin on the inside of Jimin thighs, leaving bruises where he knows no one else will see them, bruises which mark Jimin as his. He kisses his way up to Jimin’s groin, licking a teasing strip along the underneath of Jimin’s cock which has Jimin trembling underneath him, before before taking Jimin into his mouth.
Jimin arches off the bed, the sheets bunching up under him, his hand moving to Jeongguk’s cheek as his other hand tangles into his hair. The muscles in his legs go taught, and Jeongguk can tell Jimin is fighting to keep them from clamping around his head.
“Ah J-Jeongguk-ah, fuck-”
Jeongguk relaxes his throat as he takes Jimin all the way to the base, and Jimin’s hand tightens in his hair as he moans loudly. With a few bobs of Jeongguk’s head and drags of his tongue, Jimin practically melts into the bed, his mouth falling open, head lulling to the side against the pillows. His eyes roll, threatening to close in bliss, but Jimin fights to keep them open as he glances down to watch Jeongguk take him apart.
With the sinful noises Jimin is letting out and the way he is chanting his name, Jeongguk finds himself painfully hard, relieving some of that pressure by grinding down against the bed under him. He moans around Jimin’s cock, aware that Jimin is watching his every move.
Jimin’s hands touch everywhere that he can reach, his fingers raking across Jeongguk’s back and shoulders before they end up back in his hair.
“Gonna c-come. Gonna come if you keep going,” Jimin pants, tugging weakly at Jeongguk’s hair. Jeongguk’s heart stutters and he slows his movements, pulling off Jimin’s cock with a wet pop. “I want us to come together. W-want to make you feel good too.”
“You make me feel so good, hyung,” Jeongguk says hoarsely as he grabs the bottle of lube and squirts some onto his hand, rubbing it between his fingers to warm it up before spreading Jimin’s cheeks and circling his rim. “Okay?” he asks and Jimin nods shakily, arching as Jeongguk slowly presses a finger in and starts to open him up gently. Jeongguk leans back down to kiss Jimin, using his free hand to stroke Jimin’s face and hair, whispering praises while he opens him up, slowly adding fingers as he adjusts.
“Okay, I’m ready, I’m ready,” Jimin chokes when Jeongguk is three fingers in, “please, I-I need you.”
Jeongguk nods breathlessly, slipping his fingers out. He grabs a condom and rolls it on, lubing his cock up and dripping some extra between Jimin’s legs for good measure, making Jimin’s cock jump against his stomach. He positions himself above Jimin, forearms resting on either side of Jimin’s head, completely covering him with his larger frame, as if shielding him from the world.
“I like you so much hyung” Jeongguk whispers, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. Jimin smiles up at him with glazed eyes, his cheeks flushed, and lips swollen. He reaches out and runs his hands down Jeongguk’s sides, fingers brushing each rib carefully like he’s mapping out Jeongguk’s body.
“Show me how much,” Jimin teases, but there’s a hint of desperation in his voice that matches Jeongguk’s own.
Jeongguk’s body trembles in anticipation as he reaches down to line himself up. “Let me take care of you hyung,” he whispers, kissing Jimin passionately as he slowly pushes inside. They moan into each others mouths as Jeongguk bottoms out, fully settling inside Jimin. The feeling is overwhelming, finally having Jimin like this, wrapped around him, his tight, wet heat sucking him in, his soft yet strong thighs bracketing his hips.
Jeongguk starts to move, slowly at first, giving Jimin time to adjust before pulling all the way out and thrusting back inside. Jimin lets out a sinful cry, his arms flying up to wrap around Jeongguk, holding on tight. He looks beautiful in the warm glow of the lamp, a sheen of sweat on his skin, lips parted and lashes fluttering with each move of Jeongguk’s hips, the sounds of his staccato moans increasing in pitch with each breath against Jeongguk’s lips. Jeongguk feels drunk on the sounds, and the way Jimin looks up at him. Fuck. The way he looks at him.
“You’re so perfect, baby,” Jeongguk whispers against Jimin’s parted lips as he picks up the pace, the sound of skin against skin drowning out the rain, “like you were made just for me.” Jimin clings onto Jeongguk, his moans rising an octave as Jeongguk finds the perfect angle to grind against his prostate.
“O-oh,” Jimin goes taut, “J-Jeongguk, please, Jeongguk-”
His name falling so naturally from Jimin’s lips spurs Jeongguk on, and he snaps his hips forward relentlessly, his thoughts consumed by Jimin Jimin Jimin. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” Jeongguk groans breathlessly between kisses, “so kind, so sweet, so good. I’m fucking crazy about you. Only want you.”
Jimin whimpers as Jeongguk captures his lips in a searing kiss, pushing him over the edge. Jimin lets out a long, drawn out moan against Jeongguk’s lips as he comes untouched, spilling between them. His insides clamp down, and with a few more thrusts Jeongguk is coming too, filling up the condom inside Jimin.
Jeongguk collapses on top of Jimin, both of them breathing heavily as they come down from their high. Jimin trembles under him, his fingers tangled in Jeongguk’s hair, refusing to let even an inch come between them. He hears Jimin sniff and lifts his head to see tears running down his cheeks.
“Hey, shh, it’s okay, you’re okay.” Jeongguk props himself up on his elbows and holds Jimin’s face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe the tears from Jimin’s cheeks. “Baby talk to me, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Jeongguk asks worriedly, but Jimin shakes his head.
“N-no you didn’t, it was p-perfect, you’re perfect.” He takes a shuddering breath, staring up at Jeongguk with wet eyes full of adoration. “I just… it’s never f-felt like that before… I’ve never felt like that. It felt like my f-first time, and I feel so m-much… I’m happy, I promise, it’s just a lot, s-sorry.”
“Don’t apologise,” Jeongguk says, leaning down to press a tender kiss to Jimin’s lips while stroking his face gently, “you have nothing to apologise for, okay? You never have to apologise for how you feel. And it was a lot for me too.”
“It was?” Jimin asks, his eyes shining. Jeongguk nods.
“I’ve never felt like this either hyung,” he whispers like it’s a secret. Jimin smiles up at him, a beautiful smile full of something neither of them have put a name to just yet. Jeongguk thinks it feels a lot like love.
Jimin pulls Jeongguk down into a tender kiss and they stay like that for a while, curled around each other, Jimin’s fingers drawing patterns across Jeongguk’s back.
He moves to slip out of Jimin, but Jimin’s legs clamp around him. “Not yet. Want you inside for a bit longer.” Jimin mumbles. He looks tired, but so relaxed and content. So Jeongguk stays there, the pair connected as Jimin continues drawing on his back. It feels like he’s writing words.
“Are you writing?”
Jimin’s fingers halt for a moment before he continues. “Mhm.”
“What does it say?” Jeongguk asks as he props his chin on Jimin’s chest, looking up at him.
Jimin smiles down at him, his hand moving up to stroke at his cheek before settling on the back of his head. “It’s a secret.”
Jeongguk kisses away Jimin’s sounds of protest when he finally slips out of him, walking to the bathroom to dispose of the condom and get a washcloth. He brings it back along with a glass of water, and cleans Jimin up, the blonde humming contently, his eyes closed as he fights the pull of sleep.
When Jeongguk disposes of the used washcloth and climbs back into bed, Jimin is almost asleep, letting out a content purr as Jeongguk wraps his arms around him and pulls him into his arms, throwing the duvet over them and pressing a kiss against his forehead as Jimin settles against his chest.
“I’m so glad I found you,” Jimin sighs as his breathing slows to a steady rhythm.
“Im glad I found you too,” Jeongguk whispers, reaching out to turn off the lamp.
The sound of Jimin’s gentle breaths and the patter of the rain surrounds Jeongguk in the darkness, lulling him to sleep. Jeongguk hasn’t felt this happy since he moved to Seoul, and he lets this thought settle in his mind as he tightens his arms around Jimin, falling asleep to the feeling of Jimin’s heart beating next to his.
—
The rain has finally stopped, and Park Jimin is asleep in his arms. These are the two thoughts that fill Jeongguk’s mind as he wakes up to the sun streaming through his bedroom window, and to the feeling of a very naked Jimin stirring against him.
He isn’t sure what time it is, but if he had to guess, he’d put it at about mid-morning judging by the position of the sun in the sky. Jimin stirs again, his messy hair brushing Jeongguk’s chin as he moves, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Jeongguk presses kisses to Jimin’s hair as he wakes, reaching out to stroke his cheek when Jimin lifts his head and looks at Jeongguk with a sleepy smile.
“Good morning,” Jimin croaks as he leans down and presses kisses along Jeongguk’s jaw.
“Good morning, yourself. How are you feeling?”
“I feel amazing,” Jimin sighs, stretching his arms a live his head.
Jeongguk smiles, combing his fingers through Jimin’s messy bed hair. “Did you sleep well?”
Jimin hums, burying his face in the crook of Jeongguk’s neck. “I haven’t slept that well since we slept in the boathouse together.”
“Yeah?” Jeongguk smiles. He’s happy to see Jimin so well rested.
Jimin nods. “I didn’t even need to take my sleep meds.”
Jeongguk hums in understanding. “Well, to be fair I tired you out pretty well prior to sleep, so that probably helped.”
“Maybe I should tell my doctor that I’ve found a good solution, then,” Jimin grins, reaching up and running his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair. “A home remedy.”
Jeongguk chuckles, rolling them over in the sheets so he’s on top of Jimin, kissing him as he giggles. “Can you imagine?” Jeongguk mimics Jimin’s voice. “Uh, yeah, doctor. I’ve found a solution to my insomnia. It’s a medical marvel. What is it you ask? Sex. Lots and lots of mind blowing sex.”
Jimin laughs, his eyes that are already swollen with sleep turning to little half moons. Jeongguk pushes himself up, arms either side of Jimin, looking down at the man lying under him. He looks otherworldly, his blonde hair fanned out around him, chest and cheeks flushed a little under Jeongguk’s gaze. “Like what you see?” He teases, stretching his arms above his head, his back arching, his soft yet strong thighs tight against Jeongguk’s hips.
Jeongguk raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “I’m about three seconds away from just starting a religion over you right here and now.” Jimin laughs, swatting at Jeongguk’s shoulder playfully. Jeongguk grabs his hand and laces their fingers together, pinning it above Jimin’s head as he bends down and kisses him softly, “Breakfast?”
Jimin frees his hand and loops his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, pulling him down for more kisses, but then nods. “Sounds good.”
“First, shower time.”
Jimin hums. “You go first. I need to check in with my manager. He tried to call me when I was on my way to meet you last night and I kind of left him hanging. Who knows how many blood vessels he’s burst by now.”
Jeongguk chuckles, reluctantly lifting off Jimin’s body and untangling himself from the sheets. He walks over to the dresser and takes out some clothes for Jimin, an oversized hoodie and some sweatpants, as well as some clean boxers. He places them on the bed next to Jimin who is lying with his chin propped on his hand, eyebrows raised as he scans Jeongguk from head to toe. “Do you always walk around naked so comfortably?”
Jeongguk laughs. “Not always, but when Park Jimin is equally as naked, I do.”
Jimin snorts. “A scandalous show and a promise of breakfast. I think I’ll come back here again.”
“You are most definitely always welcome.” Jeongguk leans across the bed and presses a kiss to Jimin’s hair, who sighs happily and sinks back into the sheets, burying his nose into Jeongguk’s pillow.
Jeongguk can’t stop grinning as he steps into the shower, the hot water streaming down his back, soothing his slightly aching muscles. Last night felt like a fever dream. He can’t believe Jimin is lying in his bed right now. He wonders what he should make them for breakfast. He has eggs and bacon in the fridge, and bread. Maybe he could rustle up a continental style breakfast for them both.
Just then there’s a tap on the bathroom door. “Jeongguk-ah? My phone is out of battery. Can I quickly use your laptop to sign into my kakao talk?”
“Sure! Its on the coffee table in the living room, it should be unlocked.”
“Thank you.”
Jeongguk finishes up showering and wraps a towel around his hips, using a smaller towel to dry his hair roughly as he walks out into the living room. “So I was thinking I could make us some toast with eggs? I have bacon too which I can- hyung…?”
Jimin is sitting on the cracked leather sofa wearing the clothes Jeongguk has left out, Jeongguk’s laptop open on his lap. He’s looking at the screen, his thumb between his teeth, biting at his skin in that same way he always does when he’s anxious or upset. His shoulders have a tremble to them, and there are tears in his eyes.
“Hyung? What’s wrong?” Jeongguk hurries across the room to Jimin, worried that he might have received a bad message from his manager, or that another scandal has been spread about him in the media. But when he reaches Jimin and looks at the screen over his shoulder it is so, so much worse.
Fuck.
He forgot to delete that article.
The article he’d written when he’d first met Jimin, when they had argued and Jeongguk had let out all his anger and frustrations in bitter hate-filled words that even he had cringed at when he looked back at them. He had opened it the other night, ready to delete it, but something had distracted him and he had left it minimised at the bottom of the screen on one of his dozen tabs. Jimin must have seen the title and clicked it out of curiosity, and now Jimin has read it.
Jimin has read all those horrible things about him, and what’s worse, is they were written by Jeongguk. Fuck. He’s not even sure how many words he ended up writing that night. But his hate-filled rant had ended up spanning a few pages in the end, filled with cheap shots and pathetic digs at Jimin. He was so careless with his words, now he knows the extent that they must hurt Jimin.
Jimin looks away from the screen, his red rimmed eyes settling on Jeongguk, the tears finally spilling over. “This is your article?”
“Jimin-” Jeongguk’s heart jumps into his throat when he sees Jimin’s expression. The hurt, the disappointment. He sees Jimin’s walls slam back up, suddenly on guard like when they had first met, and it’s like a punch in the gut. “Jimin-hyung, it’s not-”
“This… this is what you really think of me?”
“Hyung, of course n-”
“…Attention-seeking junkie?” Jimin reads off the screen, practically choking on the words, his voice trembling.
Jeongguk steps towards him, wanting to explain. “No, it’s not like that-”
“You know why I take my medication…” Jimin whispers.
“Yes- of course I know hyung, please, if you give me a moment to explain-”
“Explain what? That you forgot to add in my twisted family history too? Huh?” Jimin sobs, and his expression morphs into something much more heartbreaking to Jeongguk, anger and betrayal flooding his red-rimmed eyes. “Are you going you write about me being g-gay too? Tell the whole fucking world?”
“No! Hyung, I would never-”
Jimin jumps up, his hands trembling, fists clenching at his sides, his chest heaving as the tears stream down his cheeks. He looks devastated and Jeongguk feels the floor fall out from under him. He reaches out, trying to hold Jimin, to comfort him, to explain.
“Let go of me!” Jimin wrenches his arm free, wrapping his arms around himself protectively as his breathing turns ragged. “W-was last night all part of the plan? Sleep with me and post it all over the news?” His eyes fly to the bedroom. “…Did you f-film us too? How much money could you get for my sex tape? Huh? Or do you want me to pay you to keep quiet j-just like he did?”
The pain in Jimin’s voice as he says those last words has tears welling up in Jeongguk’s eyes. His stomach drops hearing himself being compared to Jimin’s ex, for Jimin to think that he’s been betrayed again.
“Hyung, please listen to me! W-what you read isn’t the article I wrote about you! I- fuck- it is a stupid thing I wrote weeks ago when I was angry at you, it’s not real please-”
Jimin refuses to look at him anymore. He isn’t even listening at this point. He’s in panic mode. His eyes are distant like he’s trying to tread water in the storm tearing through his mind. He stumbles to his bag and rummages through it frantically. “…I thought y-you were different,” he sobs, “I thought I could t-trust you. You promised me. Y-you promised you were on my side.”
He pulls out his medication, trying to open the pill bottle, but his trembling hands send the pills scattering across the floor. He drops to his knees, hands shaking as he tries to gather them up.
“Shit,” Jeongguk kneels beside him, wanting to help somehow, because, fuck, Jimin looks so broken right now, and its his fault. And what’s worse is he can’t think of how to fix it, because he’s the cause. He never thought he would be the reason for Jimin’s panic. His hands hover in the air, wanting desperately to pull Jimin into his arms but knowing it will just make everything worse.
“Jimin, hyung, you need to breathe, okay?” He says instead. “Just breathe with me.”
Jimin gives up on his attempt at gathering the scattered pills, and curls in on himself, covering his head with his hands and letting out a heartbreaking cry. He sobs, his whole body shaking and Jeongguk lets out a strangled sound as he starts to cry too. “Hyung I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I promise I can explain, please-“
Jimin suddenly stumbles to his feet and rushes for the door instead, bag thrown over his shoulder as he pulls on his hat and shoves on his shoes. Jeongguk feels his heart stop. “W-wait! Please don’t leave!” He jumps up as Jimin opens the door, running after him until he realises he’s still only in his towel.
“Shit! Wait! Hyung, please!”
He rushes to his bedroom, grabbing a pair of sweatpants and yanking off his towel to pull them on. He pulls on a t-shirt as he stumbles across the living room, and doesn’t even bother with his shoes as he pushes open the door and rushes after Jimin.
“Hyung wait, please!” Jeongguk scrambles after him, desperation making his feet slip across the floor. “Please hyung, it isn’t what you think-” He calls down into the stairway, looking over the bannister to see Jimin’s shadow vanishing out on to the street. Jeongguk takes two steps at a time, lungs burning with desperate breaths.
When he gets out to the street Jimin is gone.
Jeongguk looks around desperately but there’s no sign of him. He runs down one alley, and then the next until he gets to the main road but Jimin is nowhere to be found. Jeongguk let’s out a choked cry, holding his head in his hands. He feels panic tighten around him like a straight jacket. It’s that dread which he felt only once before when he saw someone run into traffic when he first moved to Seoul. That feeling that this could be the catalyst, the moment that changes everything. The point when you never see that person again. But this isn’t just anyone. This is Jimin.
Jeongguk needs to find Jimin. He needs to fix this. He needs to apologise and explain everything, and he needs to do it sooner rather than later.
He quickly runs back to his apartment to put on his shoes and grab his phone. He internally chastises himself over and over, wiping the tears from his cheeks as he dials Jimin’s number, holding the phone up to his ear shakily just to get put straight through to the voicemail.
“H-hyung, I’m s-so sorry you had to read all those terrible things,” Jeongguk sobs into the phone, not even sure if Jimin will listen to his message. “But I p-promise it’s not the real article. I wrote that when we first met, that night we had a fight and it’s so fucking s-stupid, I’m an idiot for even writing it but hyung, I was never going to post it. And i would n-never out you, or film you, or tell anyone about us. None of the things I wrote were true, Jimin-hyung, please- please just hear me out, please.”
Jeongguk hangs up and tucks his phone into his pocket, taking a moment to try and calm down and collect his thoughts. He needs to find Jimin. That’s all that matters right now. He heads straight out the door, going to the only place he can think of, Jimin’s apartment. He jumps into his car instead of walking, desperate to shave off some time. When he gets to the front of Nine One Hannam he pulls up next to the security at the Car Park entrance. The security guard greets him with polite confusion.
“Can I help you?”
“I’m here to visit Park Jimin?” Jeongguk says anxiously, and it comes out as more of a question. “You remember me, right?”
“Yes, sir,” the guard replies with a nod, as he picks up his intercom phone, holding it to his ear and pressing a few buttons. “Is he expecting you?”
Jeongguk chews on his thumbnail nervously. “I hope so… I just really need to speak to him.”
“Whom should I say is visiting?”
“Uh…” Jeongguk contemplates lying and saying it’s Seokjin or someone else, just so Jimin will let him in, but he knows that would just make everything worse. “Tell him it’s Jeon Jeongguk.”
The guard nods, pressing a few buttons and then holding the phone to his ear. After trying twice he puts the phone down. “It seems that Park Jimin is not home right now.”
Fuck. Where could he be? Even if Jimin is home, he probably won’t answer the intercom anyway. Jeongguk hopes he’s not home alone in the state he left him in. He chews his bottom lip, anxiety settling in his chest. “Is there any possibility you could let me in anyway? It’s sort of an emergency.”
“I’m sorry, sir. I can’t allow any non-residents in without permission from a resident.”
Jeongguk deflates. “I understand.”
The guard seems to read his expression, giving him a sympathetic smile. “Maybe try again in a few hours. I’m sorry I can’t be of more help.”
“It’s okay,” Jeongguk tries his best to put on a smile, though he knows he must look like an emotional wreck right now. “Thank you for your help anyway. Uh, can I leave my number, and if you see him come home could you call me?”
The guard hesitates, glancing around before sliding a post-it note to Jeongguk for him to leave his number. “In normal circumstances I wouldn’t. But I have noticed that Park Jimin spends a lot of his time with you. I’m quite fond of him, he often leaves thank you gifts for me. If it’s truly an emergency situation then I will allow it this once. Between us. But bear in mind I still cannot let you in without his permission.”
“Yes- yes I understand. Thank you so much.” It’s only something small, but at least it’s a step forward.
Jeongguk drives away and parks in a nearby street, trying to calm his heart and figure out what to do next. He tries calling Jimin again but it still goes through to voicemail. He leaves another message, and then sends Jimin a text, but it stays unread.
He calls Seokjin and Taehyung, but they are away as part of their schedule, so they aren’t sure where Jimin is, and also seem confused as to why Jeongguk is calling them and not Jimin himself. Jeongguk tries to play it off, making up some sort of excuse and hanging up before they can question him further.
He calls Hoseok, but like with Jimin’s phone, it goes straight through to voicemail. He even tries Jimin’s manager, but he hasn’t heard from Jimin since yesterday.
Jeongguk feels utterly helpless. His body is full of anxious energy, and he doesn’t know what to do, so he starts his car and just drives. Usually when he feels upset he would drive down to his brothers boat house, but he doesn’t want to go anywhere that’s far from Jimin, so he just drives around Seoul, continuing to call Jimin and leaving voicemails until the sun sets.
The security guard doesn’t end up calling. Which means Jimin hasn’t returned home.
Jeongguk hears nothing. He didn’t want to leave it this long, but he guesses he has no choice but to just see Jimin at the drama studio tomorrow. He’s checked the schedule and Jimin is filming three scenes. He really hopes Jimin will hear him out and not have him kicked off the set.
Jeongguk eventually returns to his apartment and collapses onto his bed, his eyes filling with tears when he realises the sheets still smell like Jimin. He buries his nose into the pillow that Jimin had used, closing his eyes and letting out a shuddering breath as the events of the last twenty four hours play through his mind.
———
Jeongguk doesn’t sleep. He knows he must look like a total wreck when he arrives at the studio early the next morning, waiting with bated breath for any sign of the soft mop of blonde hair that he has grown so used to seeing every morning, usually accompanied by sleepy eyes and a cup of coffee.
But he is met with white blonde hair instead as Hoseok walks down the corridor towards him. Hoseok stops in his tracks when he sees Jeongguk, eyebrows pulling into a deep frown as he marches over, taking Jeongguk by the wrist and pulling him into Jimin’s dressing room.
For a second, Jeongguk is hopeful Jimin might actually be here, but as his eyes dart around the empty dressing room he deflates again. Hoseok closes the door behind them, turning sharply to Jeongguk. His face is full of an anger that Jeongguk is not used to seeing from him.
“What the fuck did you do Jeongguk-ah?”
Hoseok obviously knows what happened, just by the way he’s looking at him, and Jeongguk feels so close to breaking down. He blinks back tears, holding his hands out in front of him. “Hyung, it’s not what you think-.”
“Well what am I supposed to think?” Hoseok shouts, throwing his hands in the air. “Jimin was an absolute mess when he showed up at my door yesterday. It took me hours to calm him down! He kept saying that you were just like everyone else, and that he never should have trusted you. He said you wrote an exposé article on him? That you betrayed him? I couldn’t get much sense out of him before he pretty much shut off completely and wouldn’t talk about it anymore. I’ve never seen him like that.”
Jeongguk’s heart breaks hearing the pain he’s caused Jimin, and the tears he’s been trying to hold back start to fall. “Hyung I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for him to read it-”
Hoseok’s face morphs into disappointment. “So you did write something awful?”
“It’s not what you think,” Jeongguk says, “please hyung, please let me explain.”
Hoseok seems to think for a moment before nodding. “Okay, explain.”
Jeongguk wipes the tears from his face and takes a breath. “Hyung, you know when Jimin and I met we didn’t really see eye to eye, right?”
Hoseok scoffs. “That’s an understatement.”
Jeongguk nods. “Well, one night we had a particularly rough encounter. I was so angry afterwards, so I went home and had a few drinks and I… well, I just vented. I wrote down a load of shit about Jimin to make myself feel better, which was fucking stupid, and unprofessional, and immature. But I was never going to use that article! Even if I still hated Jimin, I wouldn’t publish something like that. It’s just that I can collect my thoughts and sort through my emotions best when I write them down, and that day I was especially pissed off, so my writing reflected that. Half of the things I wrote were grossly exaggerated hyung, I didn’t mean any of it.”
Hoseok’s expression softens slightly, but he still sighs and shakes his head. “Jeongguk-ah. It doesn’t matter if you meant it or not. What matters is that Jimin has seen it. Even if you hated him, you shouldn’t have written horrible things about him, or anyone else for that matter. These people, these celebrities are humans, not someone you can unload your anger on and bitch about to make yourself feel better.”
Jeongguk drops his head, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “I know hyung, I just wasn’t thinking. I regret it so much. I never wanted to hurt Jimin hyung. I care about him so much. ”
Hoseok sighs. “I know you do. He cares about you too.”
Jeongguk looks up at Hobi, his eyes pleading. “Hyung, where… where is he? He didn’t let me explain before he ran, and he wont answer my calls. I need to see him, please, I need to explain. Please hyung.”
Hoseok contemplates, then finally relents. “He’s at my place. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see him today. He’s pretty fragile. I’ll talk to him. I know you didn’t mean those things you wrote, and I know deep down Jimin knows that too.”
Jeongguk nods. He understands. “Thank you hyung. Could you do me a favour?”
Hoseok nods and Jeongguk walks over to his bag which he had dropped by the door when he was first dragged inside the dressing room. He crouches down in front of it, opening it and pulling out a magazine. He stands and holds it out to Hoseok, who’s face instantly softens when he sees the cover. “Jeongguk-ah…”
“This is next months issue of GQ, the one with my article about Jimin. My real article. It hasn’t been released yet but publishing has been completed. I was given a copy. Can you give it to him, please?”
Hoseok takes the magazine, running a delicate finger over the cover, so unlike any previous GQ magazine covers. This one is very obviously special. Hoseok smiles as he looks up at Jeongguk. “Okay. I’ll give it to him.”
“Thank you. And just… please tell him I’m sorry.”
“I will.”
“Tell him I want to see him. I miss him. I didn’t want to hurt him. Thats the last thing I want.”
Hoseok nods. “I’ll tell him.”
Jeongguk bites at his bottom lip anxiously, his eyes filling with tears. “I’m scared, hyung. I’m so scared he wont want anything to do with me anymore. I’m scared that I’ve ruined everything, that I’ve broken the trust that we built.”
“I don’t think so, Jeongguk-ah. Jimin is hurt, but he knows you, he knows there must be an explanation. He just needs time… hey, don’t make that face. Come here.” Hoseok opens his arms and Jeongguk steps into his embrace, feeling the tears start to fall again.
“I want to see him hyung.”
“Well, that’s up to him now. But I’m sure it wont be long.” He pulls back and ruffles Jeongguk’s hair. “Believe me when I say, that boy is head over heels for you.”
Jeongguk manages a watery smile. “I’m head over heels for him too. I… I love him hyung.”
Hoseok smiles. “Then have some faith okay? You two are meant to be together. Let him come to you.”
Notes:
Eek! Misunderstanding!
Fun fact: That scene was actually the first scene I thought up when planning out this whole fic, and as you can see I had it set up from the first chapter with the mean article sitting like a little time-bomb. But what was originally going to be a huge angst arc has turned into a simple misunderstanding, because I couldn’t do that to these little cinnamon rolls who I have become very attached to.
So only smol angst. So fear not friends! I hate dragged-out misunderstandings, so this gets cleared up very quickly because we love communication in this house.
Chapter 8: Set Me Free
Notes:
Last chapter! Hehe
In this chapter we finally get Jimin’s pov, and see how much he loves Jungkook yayyy!
Another 22k
Enjoy ^^
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jimin doesn’t know what time it is.
It’s dark where he is buried under Hobi’s duvet, so he has lost all track of the time of day. Old habits die hard it seems, so when Jimin’s world had fallen apart the day before, he found himself at his best friend’s door, crawling under his duvet to hide away from the world.
Hobi has helped Jimin tread water at the worst of times, helping him stay afloat when his anxiety has threatened to drown him over the years, but even he struggled to calm Jimin down when he had shown up at his door yesterday, angry, and hurt and confused. Because Jimin is so confused. Even after spending all night thinking about it, he can’t make sense of it.
Why would Jeongguk write those things?
Because Jeongguk had written them. They were on his computer. But… Jimin knows Jeongguk. He knows him so deeply, and that article, those awful words, that isn’t Jeongguk. Jeongguk cares about him. Jeongguk has stood up for him, protected him, has been there with him through some of his most difficult times, has accepted all of Jimin’s jumbled parts. Jeongguk has always been on his side, and it has given Jimin a strength he didn’t know he had.
Jimin felt like he could build himself up with Jeongguk’s help, that he could rely on him, and maybe people would say that’s where he went wrong. That you shouldn’t look for your own happiness in another person, and you should be happy in yourself before ever committing yourself to someone else. But if that’s the case, would anyone really be able to enter into a relationship? Because we all have broken parts, ugly sides, dark thoughts. Should Jimin’s messy parts stop him from seeking out his own happiness?
Jeongguk has helped Jimin with so much, including his inner demons. Meeting Jeongguk has been the very thing that has helped him find ways to love himself for the first time. Jeongguk has shone light on parts of his soul that he has learned to accept and love. Jimin probably wouldn’t have been able to heal so many parts of himself if it wasn’t for Jeongguk. But now he has no idea what to think. He feels like his safety net is gone. He found someone that kept him grounded, and now he’s not grounded anymore. He feels like he could be swept away at any moment.
He brings the sleeves of his hoodie to his nose and inhales deeply. Well not his hoodie, Jeongguk’s hoodie. The one Jeongguk gave him to wear yesterday, the one he hasn’t taken off yet. He doesn’t want to take it off because it feels like a lifeline. He burrows into it, taking a deep breath. It still smells like Jeongguk, and the smell is so comforting as it wraps around him. It smells like home.
“Jimin-ah?”
Hobi is back. Jimin didn’t hear him come in, too lost in the whirlwind of his own thoughts. He curls in on himself as the bed shifts beside him.
“Jimin-ah?” Hobi peels back the covers, finding Jimin curled up underneath. He reaches out and strokes at Jimin’s hair the same way he always has, and suddenly it’s like they’re two school kids back in their old dormitory again. “How are you holding up? Did you eat what I left out for you?”
Jimin nods, but he doesn’t speak. His throat hurts. He feels exhausted, but he can’t seem to sleep. There’s a restlessness under his skin. He tries to bury under the covers again, but Hobi stops him.
“… He was there today, at the studio.” Hobi says quietly.
Jimin can’t help the way he instantly reacts, the fact that he so desperately wants to know. “Jeongguk…?”
Hobi nods. “He was in pretty rough shape. I think he was hoping you would be there today so he could talk to you. He was pretty desperate to explain himself. He cried a lot.”
Jimin’s heart feels bruised in his chest. He doesn’t want Jeongguk to cry. He wants him to smile. That smile that makes his nose scrunch up, the one that makes Jimin’s stomach do somersaults.
“Did you talk to him?”
Hobi nods. “He sort of explained some stuff to me. I can tell you what he said if you want to listen. We don’t have to talk about it right now, but I think it would be good for you to hear what he had to say. When you’re ready.”
Jimin thinks for a moment, and then sits up against the headboard. “I want to know what he said.”
He needs to know. Because he knows there’s a reason. He knows Jeongguk. He knows that what they had was real. What they have. He knows Jeongguk cares about him. He felt it when they spent the night together. He’s just missing a piece of the puzzle.
“Okay, scoot over.” Jimin shuffles over as Hobi climbs into the bed and sits beside him. Jimin rests his head on Hobi’s shoulder, and Hobi pulls out his phone, scrolling for a moment before holding it up in front of Jimin’s face. “Do you remember this?”
Jimin squints against the glare of the phone screen. It’s a message from him to Hobi from just under two months ago, a whole essay filling up the screen. “This is a message you send me, ranting to me about Jeongguk when you first met him. Just read some of the things you wrote.”
Jimin’s eyes travel down the text. He winces as soon as he reads one line wishing Jeongguk a horrible death. Another line calling him a blood sucking leech. There’s one part where Jimin says that Jeongguk must not have been loved as a child, which makes him feel particularly guilty knowing how much Jeongguk’s parents love him. Another part that says Jeongguk is incapable of being a good person, that he’s heartless, which couldn’t be further from the truth. He said some pretty awful things, and he feels worse the more he reads, realising how many assumptions he made about Jeongguk before he got to know him.
“I forgot I wrote all that... I remember it was after a fight we had. I definitely don’t think any of that now.”
Hobi hums, putting his phone away. “Exactly. You both got off on the wrong foot, and it caused you to both write some nasty shit about each other. For you, it was in the form of texts to me. For Jeongguk, he used his writing to vent his frustrations. He told me that you guys had a bad fight one night and he got angry, so he drank and then wrote some stupid shit to vent and clear his head. He never intended to publish it, he just forgot to delete it. He told me to tell you he was sorry. And he definitely doesn’t think any of it is true, he made that very clear.”
Jimin takes a deep breath, pondering on Hobi’s words. Him and Jeongguk had definitely gotten off on the wrong foot, and Jimin knows he wasn’t an innocent party in the whole situation. He had been pretty petty for the first week or two that he and Jeongguk had initially interacted, and neither of them really knew each other at all back then. If Jeongguk had written the article at that time, then it makes sense why it would be full of such venom. His own messages to Hobi were no better. He’d never want Jeongguk to read his harsh words, so he imagines Jeongguk must be feeling terrible about Jimin reading his.
“So that wasn’t the real article?”
Hobi shakes his head. “Nope. In fact…” Hobi leans over the edge of the bed, Jimin tilting with him as he reaches for something, before placing it on the bed in front of Jimin. “Here. Jeongguk wanted me to give you this.”
Jimin’s eyes widen and he sits up, untangling himself from his best friend. His heart beats faster, but for once it’s not for a negative reason. He reaches out with trembling fingers and runs them down the shiny cover of the magazine.
“What’s this?”
Hobi smiles beside him. “It’s next month’s edition of GQ, with Jeongguk’s feature article. His real article about you. And apparently he had full artistic control over the entire thing including the cover, which is insane because I sure as hell have never seen a cover like this on GQ, or any other magazine. Jeongguk must have really pulled some strings.”
Jimin feels an overwhelming rush of emotions as he takes in the cover. He was expecting the cover photo to be from the photoshoot that his management had arranged, the one of him in a suit, looking cold and intimidating- the way he is always portrayed. Something beautiful to look at, but that’s where it ends.
But this… Jimin didn’t even know Jeongguk had taken this photo. He feels himself smiling as he traces around the image of himself throwing his arms in the air as he looks over the city stretched below him. He didn’t know it was possible for him to look so carefree.
He feels like he’s seeing himself through Jeongguk’s eyes, and yet again Jeongguk has managed to show him something he can love about himself.
“Where was this photo taken?” Hobi wonders.
“That’s a secret,” Jimin whispers as he picks up the magazine carefully, resting it on his knees like it’s a special treasure. All of the memories of that day come flooding back; him and Jeongguk shouting all of their frustrations into the air over Seoul, them laughing uncontrollably as they attempted to ‘trust fall’ into each other’s arms, them ending up in a pile on the floor. Jimin remembers how carefree he felt, how safe. “I can’t believe he used this as the cover.”
He runs his hand along the side of the magazine, feeling the edge of the pages. “Park Jimin: The Inside Story.” He reads aloud, fingers following the words printed across the front of the cover. Suddenly he doesn’t feel nervous about the article. He feels excited. He wants to read it, which is something Jimin never thought he would ever feel.
He takes a breath and opens the magazine, and the first page of the article takes his breath away. The cover wasn’t a one-off. The whole article is littered with candid photos of Jimin that Jeongguk has taken over the weeks they have spent together. There’s one of Jimin laughing with Jin, Tae, and Hobi, his face scrunched up in a way that his management would never let go to press in any other circumstance. Another photo is of a Jimin smiling while drinking coffee in his dressing room, pre-makeup, wearing his favourite hoodie. There’s one of him on Jeongguk’s brother’s boat, looking messy and bare-faced and, just- so human. In all of the photos he is smiling brightly. Jimin didn’t realise he could smile like that.
He feels the lump in his throat grow as he begins to read Jeongguk’s article.
Park Jimin: The Inside Story
Written by Jeon Jeongguk
Research has shown that it only takes seven seconds to form an impression of a person when you first meet them. It’s labelled a ‘snap judgement’. Seven seconds is all it takes a person to decide whether the individual they meet is a good person in their eyes, someone they like, respect, or want to spend time with. What this research does not show, however, is that first impressions can be incredibly wrong.
When I was first commissioned to write a feature article on Park Jimin, my thoughts instantly turned negative. Before I had even met him, I had already decided what type of person he was. I hadn’t even allowed Park Jimin any room to change my mind. As a writer who should be unbiased in all my work, this was my biggest mistake, and admittedly the most unprofessional moment of my career.
Jimin’s eyes travel down the page as he takes in Jeongguk’s words, and although they are more formal than Jimin is used to hearing from him, they are so unmistakably Jeongguk. So much so, that inside Jimin’s mind, he is reading the words in Jeongguk’s soft voice.
His eyes are drawn to a name he recognises. A short interview in the middle of the page, next to a photo of Jimin on set, looking down in concentration at his script- yet another candid photo Jeongguk had taken.
“Park Jimin is surprisingly kind,” says Kim Jihoo, an assistant who has worked on set with Jimin for multiple dramas.
Jimin’s eyes widen at the mention of the assistant he knows well. He always thought that she was scared of him. He remembers one time he had grabbed the script from her too harshly, startling her. He’d felt terribly guilty for the rest of the day. The next day he bought her treats from her favourite cafe to apologise, albeit secretly because he was too shy to actually apologise, and she didn’t know who they were from. He’s surprised to hear her speak positively about him. He wonders when Jeongguk had interviewed her?
Kim Jihoo continues: “I didn’t even realise, but one of the other assistants told me that he regularly buys treats and food for the all the staff. I actually noticed him doing it once I caught on. He provides for the staff regularly from his own pocket, and without telling anyone. I was so impressed by his humility, and how he did it because he wanted to express his gratefulness, but at the same time not making a show of it. Since then I realised I misjudged him. I think it would be nice to get closer to Park Jimin. He seems like he would make a good friend. I hope one day I can thank him properly for his kindnesses.”
Jimin’s lips pull into a smile. Jeongguk had said he wouldn’t write about Jimin’s secret snack buying in the article.
“… Liar,” he says softly, his heart swelling at the kind words of the assistant he was sure hated him. He never thought anyone would notice what he did.
Jimin’s eyes continue to scan down the page, chuckling quietly when he looks at the photo of him on Jeongguk’s brother’s boat, a crab in his hand held at arms length as he laughs, as if he’s both scared and endeared by the creature at the same time. He remembers throwing the crab back in the ocean, and he remembers Jeongguk’s boisterous laughter, the memory bringing a warmth to his chest.
His eyes flicker to Hobi’s name a little further down the page.
“One fact about Jimin that I bet no one is aware of, is that he is one of the most captivating and talented dancers that I know. Many people know him for his acting, but if you ever saw him dance, you’d be left in awe, I promise.”
Jimin glances up at Hobi who is watching him patiently. “Most talented dancer you know, huh?”
“He put that in?” Hobi leans forward to look at the open magazine. “He just asked me what is something I wish the public knew about you, and that’s what I came up with.”
Jimin snorts. “Next time you scold me for getting your choreography wrong I’m going to quote this,” he teases and Hobi rolls his eyes.
Jimin turns back to the article, fully immersing himself in Jeongguk’s words. He blinks back tears as he reads, fingers trembling as he turns the pages carefully. More candid photos are scattered across the paper, more interviews from people close to him, from Hobi, Taehyung, and Seokjin, even from his grandmother herself who spills her love onto the page.
The article is full of kind words, love and praise. Jeongguk hasn’t written about any of Jimin’s personal struggles or insecurities, just like he promised he wouldn’t, but he has written about Jimin’s strength and determination, his professionalism, his bravery, his compassion, about his love for his friends and the people close to him.
Jeongguk writes about Jimin like he hung the stars in the sky, his feelings woven into every sentence. In his words Jimin sees himself through Jeongguk’s eyes, and what a sight it is to behold.
A tear drops off the end of Jimin’s nose and onto the magazine and he gasps, quickly using his sleeve to carefully dab the patch dry, before wiping at his face.
After spending nearly two months shadowing Park Jimin, I have come to learn that he is so different from the image of him that has been created by the media, and is projected by the public who, for some reason, decided to villainize him from a young age. But Park Jimin is far from a villain. He is kind, selfless, shy, caring, and a person simply full of love.
I hope that through this article, you can get to know the real Park Jimin, even if my words portray only a fraction of who he really is. Maybe then you will think twice about judging so readily, just as I have.
As you read this article, I hope your heart can be swayed by him. I know mine has been.
“You like it?” Hobi asks, looking at Jimin expectantly.
Jimin nods, bringing his hand to his mouth as he chokes on a sob. “H-hyung, I have to find him.” Jimin wipes at his face, almost falling as he clambers out of bed and reaches for his phone which has been turned off since the day before.
“I’m guessing it’s a good article then.” Hobi smiles as he watches Jimin fumble with his phone in his haste.
Jimin finally gets his phone turned on, and his heart sinks when he sees all the missed calls from Jeongguk, the voicemails and kakao messages. He’s scared to listen to them, and yet he’s desperate to hear Jeongguk’s voice. He clicks the new voicemail message notification, and holds it up to his ear.
“Hyung… I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of it, I promise…” Jeongguk sounds so sad, and Jimin feels himself tear up again. “Please- you don’t even have to speak to me but I just- I need to know you’re somewhere safe. Please call me. Or message me. Please.”
The next message has the sound of traffic in the back ground, Jeongguk having to speak louder over it. “I know you probably don’t want to hear my voice, but I just want to make sure you’re safe… please hyung.”
The messages go on like this. With Jeongguk’s voice sounding more and more dejected with each message. In the end Jimin can’t bear to listen to them anymore.
He calls Jeongguk’s number, but it goes straight through to voicemail. “Fuck,” Jimin whines walking out into Hobi’s living room with his best friend in tow. He tries again, and again, but the phone goes directly to voicemail each time. Jimin is getting a taste of his own medicine it seems. Why is Jeongguk’s phone off? Did something happen to him? Jimin bites at his thumb nail, his anxiety thrumming in his chest and threatening to spill over. He looks at the time on his phone, it’s already past five in the afternoon.
“Hyung, would Jeongguk still be at the studio?”
“When you aren’t there? Come on Jimin. He left the moment I told him you weren’t coming in today.”
Jimin gives up with the phone the fifth time it goes to voicemail. He walks to the door and tugs on his shoes, pulling the hood of Jeongguk’s hoodie up over his face, and a mask high on his nose- giving him that small sense of security that it always does. He may not be able to control a lot of things in his life, but he can control how much of his face the public can see, and that has always been a small lifeline he can hold onto.
“I’ll see you later, hyung,” he says quickly over his shoulder.
“Woah, hold on! Where are you going?”
“Uh… I’m not sure yet. Maybe Jeongguk’s?” Jimin quickly orders a taxi on his phone, the notification chiming that a driver has accepted his request and is three minutes away. “Thank you for taking care of me hyung,” Jimin sighs as he pulls Hobi into his arms, hugging him tightly. “I’m sorry I’m just running off. But- I can’t leave Jeongguk thinking the worst, I need to talk to him.”
“Do you even know where he is?”
“I don’t, but I need to try.”
“And I was looking forward to watching a movie with you,” Hobi sighs, but then he grins and tugs at the rim of Jimin’s hood. “Go get him, tiger. Do you need me to come with you?”
Jimin contemplates it, but then shakes his head. The determination he has to friend Jeongguk is the strongest emotion in his mind right now, and its overriding all the other thoughts that would usually riddle him with anxiety. He feels strong for once. Even if just a little. “I can do it. I need to do this.”
“Okay. Well, call me if you need me.”
Jimin nods, adjusting his mask one last time before opening the door. “I’ll keep you updated.”
—
“Here’s fine, thank you” Jimin says to the taxi driver as they pull into Jeongguk’s street, practically jumping out of the vehicle while it is still moving. Jeongguk’s building is old, and the entrance is permanently propped open, so Jimin is able to slip inside and climb the stairs. His heart is thundering in his chest by the time he makes to Jeongguk’s front door, an anxious energy filling his body, making his muscles tense. He hesitates for only a second before pressing the old doorbell.
He can hear the chime echo quietly inside the apartment. But then silence. Nothing.
Jimin tries again. Silence.
He knocks. Nothing.
“Jeongguk-ah?” Jimin calls through the door, “it’s… me. Jeongguk?”
Nothing. Silence. Jeongguk isn’t here.
“Shit,” Jimin mutters under his breath, bringing his thumb up to his lips and biting at the skin around his nail. Where could he be? He isn’t at the studio, he isn’t home.
Jimin jogs back down the stairs and out onto the street. He tugs his hood lower over his eyes as a group of people walk past, turning his body away as that familiar prickle of panic threatens to wash over him. He makes a show of looking down at his phone’s lock screen, and once he’s sure they’ve passed, he takes a calming breath, opening his taxi app and typing in a new destination: GQ headquarters. A driver accepts his request and within a few minutes the taxi pulls up in front of him.
Jimin quietly greets the driver before sinking low into the back seat, releasing a breath. He doesn’t even know what he’s doing at this point, but apparently he’s throwing himself into it nonetheless. Fucking hell.
He dials Jeongguk’s number again, but it still goes straight to voicemail. “Where are you Jeongguk-ah?” He whispers as he gazes out of the window, watching the buildings start to grow taller as they enter the business district.
When the taxi pulls up in front of Jeongguk’s workplace, Jimin fumbles with the handle before stepping out onto the bustling sidewalk, closing the door behind him. The taxi pulls away, and suddenly he’s on his own. He takes a beep breath as he glances around. Jimin hasn’t been on his own in a busy area like this for as long as he can remember. He’s always whisked in and out of metropolitan buildings for his schedule, but he’s usually surrounded by several bodyguards, as well as crowds of fans and paparazzi lining the streets to get a glimpse of him. Outside of his schedule, he avoids areas like this like the plague.
Jimin’s heart beats faster as he looks up at the lavish building in front of him, the tall glass windows lining the entire ground floor boasting a grand entrance. He adjusts his hood and mask, keeping his head low, and before can second guess what he’s doing he’s walking through the entrance of GQ’s main office, the pavement turning to dark marble underfoot.
Jimin steels himself and looks up, eyes scanning around the foyer. In front of him, set in the middle of the space is a sleek reception desk, security gates for the workers in rows on either side. One of the workers behind the desk has already set their eyes on him, and he feels himself tense. He didn’t really think this far ahead. All he knows is that Jeongguk is a journalist, and writes for GQ. He knows he works in this building from past meetings they have had over the weeks, but he has no idea what floor, or what department. How the hell is he supposed to find him?
Taking a deep breath, Jimin walks up to the desk, hands gripping the edge nervously. He hesitantly leans over to speak in a low voice to the worker who has been watching him curiously. “Uh… Jeon Jeongguk?” Is all Jimin can get out, his voice muffled from behind his mask.
The worker leans forward with innocent confusion. “Sorry? I can’t hear you. How can I help?” She dips her head to get a better look at Jimin’s eyes, the only part of his face that isn’t somehow covered.
Jimin can’t help but shrink back. It’s an automatic reaction and he hates himself for being like this. “I’m here to see Jeon Jeongguk,” Jimin says a little louder, “he works here.”
“You’re visiting a worker?”
“…Yes.”
“Do you have an appointment with him?”
“Uh, no.”
“I see. Can I have your name?”
Jimin freezes. His name. He doesn’t want to say it. “Could you just let me know if he’s in the office today?” Jimin tries again fingers gripping the side of the desk, “Jeon Jeongguk?”
Jimin can see the other reception workers start to whisper amongst themselves. He grips the desk harder.
“What department is he in?”
“He’s a writer…” Jimin says but it comes out more like a question than a statement. He should leave. This was a bad idea. The voices around him get louder. Or maybe it’s just his imagination. Maybe it’s his head making everything seem so much louder.
“Excuse me, are you Park Jimin?” One of the other receptionists leans over to ask. Jimin’s eyes shoot to her and her face lights up with recognition once she can finally see his eyes properly. She brings her hand to her mouth with excitement, trying to stay professional. “ Oh my god- sorry- I’m a big fan of yours.”
“It’s really Park Jimin?” Another staff member behind her repeats, leaning forwards. The chatter gets louder as more people cotton on. Jimin notices some passing workers hold up their phones.
“Why is Park Jimin here?”
“It’s really him?”
“He’s taller than I thought!”
“Oh my god. I’m so glad I didn’t call in sick today.”
“He looks so different in normal clothes.”
Jimin shakes his head, then bows, then tries to pull his hood down further as he takes a step backwards, his heart thundering in his ears.
He collides with someone’s chest, a yelp escaping his throat.
“Woah, steady there,” the person says.
“S-sorry,” Jimin turns in preparation to run to the door. This was a stupid idea, he can’t handle situations like this.
“Wait- Park Jimin?” The voice asks. “I’m Kim Namjoon. Jeongguk’s friend.”
Namjoon. The friend Jeongguk named one of his fish after. He looks up from under his hood. The man is tall and broad, but his handsome face looks kind, his eyes soft as he looks at Jimin.
Jimin’s eyes dart around to the crowd slowly forming, and Namjoon also seems to notice. “Follow me. Let’s go somewhere more private.” He smiles kindly as he ushers Jimin to follow him. “As for the rest of you, back to work!” He barks at the staff who quickly scatter.
Namjoon leads Jimin to the security barriers and scans his staff pass on a reader, the barrier opening for them. He grins at Jimin, nodding behind him as they pass through. “I don’t actually have authority to shout at them like that,” he chuckles, “but they wont say anything.”
“Really?” Jimin asks, latching onto the conversation to try and distract himself from his almost-meltdown. Namjoon leads him to a quiet waiting area just past the staff elevators.
“I’m just your average writer here, but I have an advantage, you see. I’m in with the editor-in-chief,” he smiles, tapping the side of his nose in a knowing gesture. “I’m sorry our staff made you feel uncomfortable. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Uh yes, actually,” Jimin clears his throat. Is… Is Jeongguk here? I mean, Is he in the office?”
Namjoon shakes his head, brows drawing in confusion. “No. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days. Since he’s finished his article he was given some time off to rest.”
“Oh.” Shit. Where could he be. “O-okay, thank you anyway.”
Namjoon smiles warmly. “It’s great to finally meet you, by the way. Jeongguk talks about you a lot. I’m glad you guys have become close. He actually doesn’t have many friends here in the city. Its just me and Yoongi. Most of the time he just keeps his head down and focuses on work. But I’ve noticed he’s really brightened up since you’ve been spending time together. You must be a good influence on him. You make him happier.”
A lump forms in Jimin’s throat and he swallows it down. Ever since he can remember he has been taught that he is a drain on the people around him. As he’s gotten older, his anxiety has further drilled that sentiment into his brain. But for him to make another person so much happier that their closest friends see the change? Jimin didn’t know he hand that kind of worth.
“Have you tried calling him?” Namjoon asks.
“I think his phone is off,” Jimin says, because he hopes that’s the reason Jeongguk isn’t answering. “Thank you for your help, especially out in the foyer… Um, if I leave you my number, can you call me if you see him?” Namjoon nods, taking out his phone for Jimin to put his number in.
“No selling it,” he jokes as he hands back the phone.
Namjoon raises his hands. “I wouldn’t dare, Jeongguk would kill me.” He quickly gives Jimin a missed call so he has his number. As Jimin turns to leave he feels a little burst of courage, so says what he’s thinking. “It was nice meeting someone who cares about Jeongguk as much as I do.”
Namjoon nods. “I’m sure we’ll get to see a lot more of each other in the future. Also, nice hoodie.”
Jimin looks down at Jeongguk’s hoodie, bunching his hands in the front of the soft fabric. “Thanks. It’s Jeongguk’s.”
Namjoon smiles knowingly. “I know. It suits you.”
—
Jimin can only think of one other place that Jeongguk could be. He bites at his nail as he watches the buildings turn to trees, the taxi following the route that Jimin recognises. Except the last time he was in the passenger side of Jeongguk’s car.
After about fifteen minutes of driving uphill they round a corner, and arrive at the viewpoint. Jeongguk’s happy place. The place he comes to when he needs to get away and clear his head.
The taxi drops Jimin off at the side of the road, and Jimin adjusts his mask and hood one last time before thanking the driver and getting out of the car. Once the taxi pulls away, Jimin feels like he’s the only person for miles. He takes off his mask, and takes a deep breath, letting the cool air brush against his skin.
This place makes him feel like he doesn’t have to have his guard up. He feels so far away from it all. Like he can just be Jimin. He’s only felt this way one other place, which was when he was with Jeongguk in the boathouse by the sea.
Jimin really hopes Jeongguk is here, because if not he must have gone back to his family’s home, and Jimin doesn’t know how exactly to get there again.
Jimin follows the path Jeongguk had lead him on before, through the path among the trees. Desperation makes his feet move faster, his breath quickening. He stumbles a few times on tree roots, having to steady himself by grabbing branches, but finally he comes to the hidden viewpoint over Seoul, the trees falling away and the sky opening up in front of him. The sun is setting now, and the whole city is cast in a pink glow, the lights of the distant buildings twinkling like stars.
The whole area is empty, except for one person. He’s sitting on a bench with his back to Jimin, looking out over the city. His hair is loose and un-styled, messy in that way that makes Jimin’s toes curl. Jimin’s stomach flips, and he lets out a shaky sigh of relief.
He found Jeongguk.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath, his shoulders sagging. Even from behind he looks so sad. He must have come here to clear his head. He looks so small, sitting there on his own, and Jimin’s heart hurts knowing that he is the cause of Jeongguk’s sadness. He chastises himself for letting his anxiety cloud his reasoning, for jumping to the worst possible conclusions before hearing Jeongguk out, because of course Jeongguk wouldn’t have published something like that. Now that he sees him again, he knows how silly of a notion that was.
Because Jeongguk has been there for him time and time again. He reassured him when he was at his lowest, he defended him, he comforted him. Whenever he felt as if he was falling, Jeongguk was always there to catch him. Because that’s the kind of person Jeongguk is.
Jimin walks towards him, climbing up the steps of the pagoda where he stood all those weeks ago, when they had done their trust fall bonding exercise, when Jimin had fallen into Jeongguk’s arms for the first time.
“Jeongguk-ah…” Jimin calls out, his voice cracking with emotion.
Jeongguk’s head whips around, his eyes wide with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. Even from where Jimin is standing, he can see that Jeongguk’s face is puffy, eyes red and cheeks tear stained. He stands up shakily, taking a hesitant step forward. “J-Jimin-hyung? …What are you doing here?”
“You’re a difficult man to find, Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin chokes, a lump forming in his throat when he sees Jeongguk smile a watery smile, wiping at his eyes.
“Speak for yourself.”
Jimin chuckles, taking a step forward. “What are you doing just standing there, hm?” He turns, holding his arms out to the side and letting his eyes fall closed. “Catch me!”
He hears Jeongguk’s footsteps pounding towards him, running to him. So he lets himself fall, because he knows for certain that Jeongguk will catch him.
Jeongguk will always catch him.
His stomach lurches as he falls backwards, and then strong arms wrap around him, a solid chest against his back cushioning his fall. And then Jimin is in Jeongguk’s arms and it’s like nothing happened, like they are back under Jeongguk’s sheets together, all of Jimin’s anxiety melting away.
Jeongguk’s hold is crushing as he moulds himself to Jimin’s back. He buries his face into Jimin’s neck, a sob escaping his lips. Jimin lifts his hand and threads it into Jeongguk’s soft hair as his own eyes brim with tears.
“Im sorry, hyung, I’m so s-sorry-”
Jimin turns in Jeongguk’s hold putting his hands on his cheeks and lifting his face. “It’s okay, Jeongguk-ah,” he says as he wipes at Jeongguk’s tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry too. I should have heard you out. I shouldn’t have run away like that. I’m sorry I worried you.”
Jeongguk shakes his head. “I shouldn’t have even written all those a-awful things… the fact you had to read them, and coming from me… when I p-promised you-”
“Hey, look at me,” Jimin says, and Jeongguk finally meets his eyes, his face crestfallen. “We both know we didn’t exactly hit it off when we first met.” Jeongguk snorts, shaking his head, and Jimin chuckles. “We both said things we didn’t mean at the beginning. But that was then, and this is now. So shall we agree that we are both sorry on behalf of our past selves, hm?” Jimin is still wiping at Jeongguk’s tears which don’t seem to be stopping any time soon.
“I’m just sorry you had to read that.”
“It’s really okay.”
“I didn’t mean any of it hyung. Even at the time, I knew I was writing a load of bullshit. I was just… venting.”
“That’s good to know. Let’s just forget about it now, okay?”
Jeongguk nods, diving back into Jimin’s neck again. Jimin’s feet lift off the floor and he lets out a watery laugh as he melts into Jeongguk’s arms, letting the tears fall that have been building all day. This time they’re not tears of sadness, but tears of relief, tears of happiness, of hope. He strokes at Jeongguk’s hair, both of them holding each other tightly.
“I read your article,” Jimin whispers, “your real one.”
Jeongguk finally pulls back hearing that, lowering Jimin onto his feet once more. “You read it?”
Jimin nods, feeling himself choke up again as he remembers Jeongguk’s beautiful words. “I loved it Jeongguk-ah. It’s the only article that has ever been written about me- the real me. I had no idea I needed it until I read the words for myself. It felt like you were speaking to me, telling me all the things I’ve needed to hear my whole life. Just…thank you.”
Jeongguk smiles, reaching up to stroke Jimin’s cheek. “I wanted to show you how I see you hyung. Wanted to show you how I feel, because… because I love you… I love you Park Jimin, so fucking much.”
It feels like time stops for a moment, and then Jimin is hit with such euphoria he feels like his heart is bursting from his chest. He lets out a joyful laugh, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s neck and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. “I love you too, Jeongguk-ah,” he says when he pulls back to look at the man who has his heart, “I really love you.”
Jeongguk crumbles into tears again, and Jimin giggles as he pulls Jeongguk in and presses kisses to his salty cheeks, before capturing his lips again. Jimin’s hood falls down, but for once he doesn’t care. It’s just them and the pink sky, the city far in the distance. Even if someone saw them, he doesn’t think he would even care, he’s too caught up in Jeongguk. His sweet, loving, supportive, gentle Jeongguk.
They kiss until they’re both breathless, and then Jeongguk tugs Jimin over to the bench where they sit down side by side. Jeongguk pulls Jimin tight against him, and Jimin lays his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, his heart finally at peace. He yawns, covering his mouth with his hand. “Oh god… I didn’t realise how exhausted I am. Why didn’t you answer your phone? I’ve been trying to find you all afternoon. I was really worried, especially after hearing your messages.”
“It ran out of battery,” Jeongguk mumbles against the side of his head, “and I didn’t want to charge it again just to have you not call. But then ironically it turns out you were calling.”
“I’m sorry.”
Jeongguk takes Jimin’s chin in his hand to kiss him again, his lips soft and warm and a little salty with dried tears. “Don’t ever run away from me like that again. I think I’ve aged ten years. Seriously.”
“Im sorry. I wont do it again.” Jimin brushes their noses together.
“Even if there’s a misunderstanding, let’s talk it out, okay? Running away doesn’t solve anything.”
“Okay. You’re right.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“You have to do the pinky thing for it to count.”
Jimin chuckles, threading his pinky finger with Jeongguk’s. “Promise.”
“Wow… so tiny,” Jeongguk comments, lifting their linked fingers to inspect Jimin’s hand. His face is still swollen from crying, and Jimin feels his heart melt. He presses a kiss to Jeongguk’s lips and then stands up, pulling Jeongguk up with him, threading their hands together. They walk side by side, Jeongguk’s thumb drawing circles on the back of Jimin’s hand as the sky turns dusky, more of a purple hue now.
“Thank god you were here, and not in your hometown,” Jimin says as the walk through the trees. “I was getting ready to pack a suitcase to try and hunt you down.”
Jeongguk hums. “I did consider going there to clear my head, but i didn’t want to be that far away from you. You really would have gone all the way to Cheongsapo?”
Jimin nods. “Of course I would have. Although, I can’t remember exactly how to get to the boathouse because it’s so off-grid… but I do remember how to get to your parents restaurant, so I would have gone there to try and track you down.”
They reach the lay-by where Jeongguk’s car is parked, hidden by the trees. “You really love me, huh?” Jeongguk grins, swinging their hands, “going all the way there for me...”
“Of course I do. And anyway, I really loved being in Cheongsapo with you.”
When they reach the car, Jeongguk slides his arms around Jimin from behind before he gets a chance to open the door. “Shall we go right now?” He mumbles as he pressed kisses to Jimin’s neck. “Back to the boathouse?”
Jimin lets his head drop back onto Jeongguk’s shoulder. “You have no idea how much I’d love that,” he sighs, looking up at the now dark sky above them. “But I need to sort things out here first. I need to have my official meeting with the company to discuss the termination of my contract. I have to film the last scenes of the drama. And my press conference announcing my retirement- I don’t even want to think about that. But…” he turns in Jeongguk’s arms, “after its all over, can we go back then? I need to rest. I’m so tired.”
Jeongguk’s eyes turn soft and he leans in to nose at Jimin’s cheek. “Of course we can. There’s nothing I’d love more.” He kisses the corner of Jimin’s lips, and Jimin feels that tingle he always feels in his stomach when Jeongguk tightens his arms around him. “I want to whisk you away and keep you hidden just for me. Get us both away from everything. Just for a while.”
“I’d love that,” Jimin sighs in response. Because the thought of running away with Jeongguk is the thing that is going to get him through all the shit that is going to fill the next couple of weeks.
“You know I’ll be right beside you right?” Jeongguk says, looking in to his eyes. “For all the meetings and the conference, everything, I’ll be there the whole time.”
Jimin’s heart had never felt so full. He reaches up and pushes Jeomgguk’s hair back from his face. “I love you so much Jeon Jeongguk.”
Jeongguk smiles that cute bunny smile that makes his nose scrunch up, true one that gives Jimin butterflies. “I love you too.”
Their lips meet in a kiss that instantly turns heated, Jeongguk’s tongue licking along Jimin’s bottom lip. Jimin slips his arms around Jeongguk’s neck as he is pressed against the side of the car, letting out a whimper as Jeongguk kisses him deeper. “Jeongguk-ah,” he mumbles against his lips, “someone could come…”
Jeongguk groans, and then suddenly the car door is pulled open beside him and Jimin’s being tugged into the back seat. Jeongguk closes the door behind them, and then they are on each other again, lips against lips, hands caressing each other’s bodies. The sounds of their lips smacking grow louder inside the car, and Jimin whimpers as Jeongguk moans his name against his lips.
“J-Jeongguk-ah, someone will see us…” Jimin pants between kisses. He’s never done anything like this before, making out in the back of a car. He’s always hidden away, careful not to get caught. This is very unlike him, but he’s feeling very needy and extremely turned on, and whenever Jeongguk kisses him he can’t seem to resist.
Jeongguk breaks the kiss, looking down at Jimin with hunger in his eyes. “These windows are blacked out, hyung. No one will see.”
Jimin narrows his eyes, chewing on his bottom lip. “Let me check,” he says pushing Jeongguk back and climbing over him to get out of the car. Once outside, Jimin checks there is no one around, which there isn’t, then he closes the door and steps back, surveying the car windows sceptically. The car bounces up and down a little, indicating that Jeongguk is moving around inside, probably doing some comical gestures, but Jimin can’t see anything. He’s right. The windows are completely blacked out.
Jimin opens the car door again, and Jeongguk’s big sparkling brown eyes look back at him expectantly from the back seat. “See?” He says with a mischievous grin, “you couldn’t see me, could you?”
Jimin climbs into the car and straight into Jeongguk’s lap, pulling the door closed behind him, and capturing Jeongguk’s lips in a searing kiss. Even with the glass blacked out, this isn’t something Jimin would have done previously, but with Jeongguk he feels safe. Jeongguk is safe. And Jimin needs him.
Jeongguk seems thrilled with the development and slips his hands down over the swell of Jimin’s ass, pulling him so they mould together against the leather seat, Jimin’s knees either side of Jeongguk’s hips. They fit together so perfectly, like two pieces of a puzzle which always belonged together.
With Jeongguk writhing under him a spark of boldness take over- a need to show Jeongguk how much he means to him. “Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin sighs as he starts to roll his hips, grinding down into Jeongguk’s lap.
Jimin is quickly feeling heady, his cheeks flushed, eyes blurry as he slips his tongue into Jeongguk’s mouth, the two of them kissing like they’ve been starved for each other. Jeongguk groans, fingers digging into Jimin’s hips in a bruising grip. Jimin breaks the kiss to look down at the man he loves. He seems just as affected as Jimin is, his big eyes red rimmed and lips swollen. He looks at Jimin in a way Jimin has never experienced before, with a smile that promises a long life full of love.
Jimin feels a tear slip from the corner of his eye, warm as it trails down his cheek. “My Jeongguk…” he whispers, stroking his fingers through Jeongguk’s soft hair. The words so naturally roll off his tongue, feeling like they’re answering a question he has been silently asking.
Jeongguk’s movements falter, and he pulls back to looks at Jimin with glassy eyes, “…say that again.”
“…my Jeongguk.”
“Again.” Jeongguk brushes their noses together, his smile growing. Jimin looks into his deep brown eyes and finds all the answers he has ever needed. Jeongguk is irrevocably his. The thought sends a shiver down his spine.
“My Jeongguk,” Jimin says again, willing to chant it as many times as Jeongguk needs him to, “my sweet, beautiful Jeongguk.” His eyes fall closed when Jeongguk captures his lips in a searing kiss, and it’s as if they are the only two people in the world in this moment.
Jeongguk’s strong hands wrap around his waist and then he’s being lifted. His hoodie bunching up, the leather cool under his back as he is laid down across the back seat. Jimin’s breath hitches as Jeongguk slips between his legs and nips at his neck, his hands slipping up under his hoodie, fingers brushing over his ribs. Jimin lets out a groan when Jeongguk thumbs over his nipple. It’s cramped in the back of Jeongguk’s car, making Jimin feel that much hotter under Jeongguk’s touch.
Jimin bites down his bottom lip, trying not to be too loud in the small space, but Jeongguk presses his thumb between Jimin’s lips to stop him biting them. “Let me hear you, hyung,” he murmurs against Jimin’s jaw. “It’s just you and me.” Jimin gasps when he feels Jeongguk’s hand dip below the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers, wrapping around his already leaking cock.
“Fuck- Jeongguk-” Jimin chokes out when Jeongguk starts to move his hand, touching him in a way that has his back arching. He cant help himself when his legs part a little more, like he’s offering himself to Jeongguk. His thighs tremble as Jeongguk thumbs over the head of his cock which is now flushed a deep pink.
Before he can even fully get his head around what’s happening, Jeongguk tugs Jimin’s sweatpants and boxers off and pushes his legs up until he’s practically folded in half. Jeongguk’s hoodie that Jimin wears pools around his chest as Jeongguk leans in and runs a tongue across Jimin’s rim, pulling a sound from Jimin that he has never heard himself make before. He slams his hand over his mouth in surprise, his chest heaving.
No one has ever done this to him before. He pushes weakly at Jeongguk’s forehead, and Jeongguk looks up at him, his eyes filled with a hunger that makes Jimin’s hole twitch embarrassingly. “Is this okay?” Jeongguk asks, pressing a kiss to Jimin’s inner thigh.
Jimin’s cheeks feel like they’ve been lit on fire that this point, and he’s sure he has never been this red before. The angle he’s at doesn’t help- with his knees either side of his head, his blood rushing and making him dizzy. But still, he nods, running his fingers through Jeongguk’s hair and pushing it back. He feels so exposed, and yet he wants to give more, everything that he can offer, he wants to give to Jeongguk.
“Feels so good,” he whines, and that’s all Jeongguk needs to hear, strong fingers pressing into Jimin’s thighs as he laps and sucks at Jimin’s entrance. Jimin can’t keep quiet anymore, he doesn’t even want to, and instead lets a torrent of moans slip from his lips as he trembles under Jeongguk.
“So good for me,” Jeongguk says before pushing his tongue past Jimin’s rim. It’s a sensation Jimin’s never felt before, so hot and wet, and it pushes Jimin over the edge. His orgasm hits him like a train, making his vision white out for a second and all he can do is cry Jeongguk’s name as he spills over his chest, his thighs instinctively clamping shut around Jeongguk’s head like a vice.
Jeongguk groans as he slips his tongue from Jimin’s hole and gently tugs himself free from Jimin’s crushing thighs. Jimin feels like he’s turning to rubber, practically melting into the leather as the last of his orgasm quakes through him. Jeongguk curses under his breath as he pulls back, then he’s shifting to unzip the front of his own jeans, pushing them down and starting to stroke himself quickly.
Realising that Jeongguk is planning to finish himself off, Jimin finds a second burst of energy, and with determination he unfold’s himself and pushes Jeongguk to sit up in the seat before climbing into his lap again, straggling his hips. Jeongguk looks pleasantly surprised as Jimin slips his hand down between them to rub Jeongguk’s cock against his still twitching entrance. “I want you inside me,” Jimin breathes, lips falling open as he pushes Jeongguk’s cockhead against the sensitive ring of muscle. “Wanna- wanna ride you.”
“Hyung, I want you so bad,” Jeongguk whines as he grips Jimin’s hips, halting him momentarily with a slight furrow to his brows. “But I don’t have lube or a… wait-” his eyes widen with realisation. Jeongguk plants his feet on the floor and leans forwards, holding Jimin tightly around the waist as he reaches into the compartment between the two front seats. When he sits back, he has a condom in his hand.
Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Why do you have that in your car?”
“Long story…”
Jimin can’t help but laugh, reaching up and pinching Jeongguk’s nose playfully. His teasing smile doesn’t last long, as once Jeongguk has rolled on the condom and lubed himself and Jimin up with what was left in the condom packet, he’s guiding Jimin down, slowly easing into him.
Jimin bites at his lip as he feels Jeongguk slipping inside him inch by inch, until his ass presses flush against Jeongguk’s hips, his cock sheathed inside him all the way. Jeongguk curses under his breath as Jimin starts to roll his hips, grinding his cock deep inside until it hits that place that has his eyes rolling. He’s still sensitive from his orgasm, but he’s eager to please Jeongguk, bouncing in a steady rhythm while his thighs spread a far as they’ll go.
He must look a mess, his thighs burning and cheeks still ruddy, but when he looks at Jeongguk through his bleary vision, all he can see is fire in the others eyes. He feels like he’s awoken a sleeping dragon, because even though Jeongguk is whispering sweet words into his skin, his hips piston into Jimin without letup. Jimin drops his head back as he is hit with his second orgasm, Jeongguk’s arms tightening around him as he follows Jimin over the edge, his thrusts turning messy as he spills inside the condom.
Jimin feels like he’s melting, dropping forwards against Jeongguk’s shoulder as he tries to get control over his breathing. Usually Jimin would feel embarrassed, or even anxious to be caught in such a precarious situation. But right now, all he feels is content.
He nuzzles into Jeongguk’s neck, leaving kisses across his sweat dampened skin. “Well, that was fun,” he chuckles as he watches goosebumps rise under his touch. “I’ve never done that before. I hope no one saw us.”
“I mean- with the way this car was bouncing it’s probably moved into the next parking space over. But yeah I’m sure no one noticed,” Jeongguk says with a chuckle.
Jimin groans and buries his face further into Jeongguk’s neck, “I think we got carried away.”
“Let’s definitely get carried away more often,” Jeongguk sighs contently, stroking his hands up and down Jimin’s back. “Also you wearing my hoodie during sex is a kink I didn’t know I had.”
Jimin snorts, pinching Jeongguk’s side playfully. “It definitely needs washing now. It’s sticking to my chest.”
“Eww.”
“Hey,” Jimin whines, biting Jeongguk’s neck.
“Ow, I’m joking,” Jeongguk laughs, hugging Jimin tighter, “let’s be sticky together hyung.”
Jimin hums, burying further into Jeongguk’s chest. He can feel Jeongguk slowly softening inside him, but Jimin has no intention of moving. He is perfectly happy nestled in Jeongguk’s arms. “Want to go back to mine?” Jeongguk mumbles against his temple. Jimin nods in response, blinking slowly. He suddenly feels very tired, like theres been a huge release of tension inside him.
Jeongguk presses a kiss to his head. “Okay hyung, lets go hide away from the world, watch movies, and get delivery food. How does that sound?”
“Sounds perfect.”
———
“This is very unexpected Jimin-ssi. You’re currently at the top of your career. We expected you to re-sign your contract with us, not terminate it so suddenly.”
Jimin steels himself under the frustrated eyes of his management’s executive team where he’s sitting at the end of a long boardroom table. He feels like he’s been thrown to the wolves.
His personal manager has been nothing but supportive of Jimin since he told him that he was choosing to retire from the industry. But they have worked together for years, and he has seen Jimin at his worst. He knows what the limelight and the pressure of the industry does to Jimin, to his mental health.
The executives, and shareholders however, are a different thing altogether. They see Jimin as the prima donna that the rest of Korea views him as. A diva that they have to placate because he brings in money. But now that he’s sitting here telling them that he wants to terminate his contract, their fake smiles have slipped off.
Of course he expected them to be angry about the whole thing, Jimin is their biggest source of income, and once his retirement from acting is announced their stocks are sure to plummet. He can hear his pulse in his ears, his scalp prickling, and he forces himself to take a calming breaths. He refuses to show any weakness in front of these vultures.
“I truly am sorry that this throws you all off,“ he says with a steady voice, “but I have recently come to realise some things about myself, and my priority is my own mental health and well-being. I’ll finish all of my current commitments, but after that I’ll no longer be continuing with this company. I’m very thankful for the many years of support, and this choice is not a reflection of the company, but simply the industry in general. I hope you can all understand my decision.”
A grey-haired man sitting close to Jimin scoffs. “The media is going to have a field day with this. You’ll be slated. Is this what you want?”
Jimin sighs. “I just want to slip into ambiguity. People will forget about me pretty quickly, which is exactly what I want.”
One of the old men at the other end of the table leans forwards. “We’ll double your salary.”
Jimin clasps his hands in front of him. It’s not like he didn’t expect this reaction. He has his lawyer next to him, but he speaks clearly for himself. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m certain this is what I want to do.”
Some of the men look angry, some look sick, some look like they’ve come to accept that this is the way it is and they wont get him to change his mind.
“Very well.” One of the calmer executives at the end of the table speaks up. “If this is your final decision then we will schedule the official press conference in two weeks. That will give time for you to get things in ordered vis-à-vis your different contracts.”
Jimin feels his spine stiffen. He was hoping that by some miracle he might get away with not attending the press conference, but it looks like its inevitable. “Understood. Thank you for you time.” Jimin pushes his chair back and stands up, straightening out his shirt. He can feel how it sticks to his back uncomfortably due to his anxious sweating, and he subtly reaches behind him to tug the damp material away from his skin. All eyes are still on him, and he feels the sudden strong urge to run out of the room. But he has to remain professional, he can’t show any weakness that they could use against him to drag him back into further conversations in an attempt to tie him back into his contract. Legally they can’t do anything to stop him from terminating his contract, but Jimin knows from experience that wont stop them from trying.
“You can take up anything further with my lawyer,” Jimin says, gesturing to his lawyer who smiles politely. She’s been with him since he hired her to sue an excessively awful article for defamation, and since then that’s all she’s really been doing on his behalf. It must be nice for her to do something different for once rather than years of defamation cases. He bows formally to the executives, and to his lawyer, before turning and walking to the exit, trying not to break into a run.
When he pushes the door open, he sighs audibly in relief. Jeongguk, who is waiting for him outside, looks as nervous as him, pushing off of the wall he had been leaning against and raising his eyebrows questioningly. He holds two thumbs up in question, and Jimin gives a small nod, aware that eyes are probably still on him in the office hallway.
He walks straight to Jeongguk and grabs his hand which is still in a thumbs up position, tugging him down the hall as he glances left and right. Finally he finds an empty toilet, pulling Jeongguk inside and locking the door behind them.
“We always end up in a toilet-” Jeongguk comments, but before he can even finish the sentence properly, Jimin slips his arms around his waist and buries his face against Jeongguk’s chest.
He instantly feels his anxious heart calm as he breathes in Jeongguk’s scent.
“Did it go okay?” Jeongguk asks softly, hugging him tightly, one arm around his back and the other gently brushing through the hair at the back of his neck.
Jimin nods.
“They’ll let you terminate your contract?”
Jimin nods again. He wants to elaborate but at the moment his nerves are a mess and all he wants is for Jeongguk to hold him while he attempts to get his thoughts in order.
“That’s brilliant news,” Jeongguk mumbles into his hair, rubbing his back slowly. “It’s all working out hyung. I’m so proud of you.”
Jimin finally lifts his head, looking at Jeongguk. “Can we get out of here?”
“Of course.” Jeongguk begrudgingly lets Jimin go and they both exit the bathroom after checking that the coast was clear, putting back on a professional demeanour as they make their way down to the underground car park where Jeongguk has left his car.
Jimin finds it difficult to keep up appearances, because inside all he wants to do is jump back into Jeongguk’s arms. But he’s used to putting on an act when in public, so he keeps his features calm and collected as he walks beside Jeongguk, who easily mirrors the ‘professional’ manner. Jimin is thankful that Jeongguk doesn’t question it, and instead goes along with what Jimin feels comfortable doing in public.
“Guess what?” Jeongguk says as they reach his car.
“What?”
“Your issue of GQ has been released today. It hit shelves this morning.”
Jimin’s heart jumps in his chest. That came around quicker than he had expected. It’s something that has been in the back of his mind for almost three months, and now it’s done. It’s out there for the world to see.
Jimin feels both nervous and relieved. He always said he didn’t care about what people thought of him, and to an extent that was true. He had built his tough exterior to protect himself from people’s judgements, but he didn’t realise how much he really needed this. To have his name cleared.
“Let’s see what the Knets and media have to say about that,” he says as he tugs open the car door and slips into the passenger seat. “I bet they’ll be shocked that someone is actually on my side for once. They can’t gang up on me this time, can they?”
“Nope,” Jeongguk says as he pulls on his seatbelt. “Especially not with a famous journalist in your corner. Anyway, lets not think about them. They’re so miserable that they’ll probably just double down on their pathetic hate campaigns. But for the average member of the public, it’s great to show them an unbiased view on you.”
Mimin raises an eyebrow. “Unbiased?”
“Well, maybe a little biased.”
Jimin laughs, letting out a loud sigh and sinking into his seat as Jeongguk turns on the car and pulls out of the parking spot. So much weight has already been lifted off his shoulders. He!s never felt so light in his life.
Jimin’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and he looks down at the screen to see Seokjin’s calling.
“Hi hyung,” Jimin says into the phone, “what’s up?”
“Jimin-ah!” Jin practically shouts down the phone, “did you see the GQ article is out? Did you read it? It’s amazing! I’m crying on set and my makeup artist is angry at me for ruining my makeup! I wasn’t sure what to expect honestly, but this is unlike any article I’ve read before. It reads like a fucking love letter to you!”
Jimin feels himself blush. A love letter. Maybe it is something like that.
“Of course I read it, hyung.”
“Yeah? How do you feel?”
Jimin sighs. “Happy… very happy.”
“You should be. And you deserve to be. Someone finally shutting up all those vultures who shit on you every day! I’m on top of the world right now!” Jimin hears a woman’s voice telling Jin to calm down. “Ah, sorry,” he says back to her.
“It’s honestly a bit surreal to have an article actually be positive about me, hyung. Even in the past if there was a positive article it was bragging about awards or achievements, making me seem like this untouchable superstar one minute, then making me fall from grace the next. But this article… it’s so perfect hyung.” Jimin looks over at Jeongguk as he speaks. “Jeongguk just talks about me like I’m a regular person, with regular feelings. I never thought someone would see me for who I am, let alone write it down in such a beautiful way.”
Jeongguk is, of course listening to the whole conversation and Jimin notices the tips of his ears turning red while he pretends not to listen. Jimin smiles, reaching out to scratch at the back of Jeongguk’s neck gently.
The car pulls off of the main road and into a side road, and Jimin glances at Jeongguk to see him searching the shopfronts with his eyes squinted in concentration. He then pulls the car over suddenly, putting on the hazard lights and turning to Jimin. “Wait here a second, baby.”
Jimin’s heart flutters at how nice the pet name sounds coming from Jeongguk’s lips, and how easily he says it.
“Uh, o-okay.” Jimin stutters as Jeongguk get out of the car. Once Jeongguk is gone Jimin lifts his hand and presses it to his cheek, feeling the heat radiating off it. The way this man makes him blush is unreal and he didn’t even do anything except call Jimin ‘baby’.
Jin was still on the phone rambling in his ear about his favourite parts of the article, especially the photo of Jin hugging Jimin in his apartment after their game of Halli Galli, but when he hears Jeongguk call out ‘baby’ he goes silent.
“Uh, sorry hyung, what where you saying?” Jimin says quickly into the phone.
“You two are adorable.” Jin replies, his voice sickly sweet. “So, you’re at that stage of your relationship, huh?”
“Hyung…” Jimin feels his face heat up even more.
“Are you using protection?” He whispers down the phone, “You know, even if you two are both clean it’s still important.”
“Hyung,” Jimin squeaks, “I’m not answering that. Are you free tomorrow night?”
“For you? Always.”
“I want to throw a surprise party for Jeongguk. A sort of celebration that his big article is out… and a thank you. I’ll do it at my place. Is Tae with you?”
“He is.”
“Can you let him know the plans?”
“Will do. I’ll bring Halli Galli.”
“Nope,” Jimin puts his foot down, “No Halli Galli.”
“I’m sorry, what was that? I can’t hear you, you’re breaking up,” Jin says through the perfectly clear line, “see you tomorrow night!” He quickly hangs up with a click before Jimin can get anther word in.
Jimin chuckles, pulling up Kakao Talk to send a message to Namjoon. He wants all the important people in Jeongguk’s life to be there, so he types a quick invitation out for him and Yoongi. Namjoon replies almost instantly with a confirmation, and Jimin sends him his address, with the warning not to sell it. Namjoon replies with a laughing emoji and Jimin smiles at his phone. He then sends a message to Hobi, letting him know the plans and asking him if he is able to come earlier to help him set up.
Once he sends the messages, the driver’s car door opens and Jeongguk slips inside again. “Look what I found.” He holds up an issue of GQ with Jimin’s photo on the front. “I know as the writer and an employee of GQ I can get dozens of issues for free, but I wanted to buy it officially, you know?”
Jimin’s feels a warmth in his chest as he takes the magazine that Jeongguk offers to him. “That’s so sweet. Did you find it easily?”
“I went into YP Books, and at first I couldn’t find it anywhere, so I asked a member of staff and they said the issue has been flying off the shelves! She had just brought out another box from the back to re-stock the shelves. She thinks they’ll sell out before the end of the day. Isn’t that amazing?”
Jimin’s eyes widen in surprise. “They’re really selling out?”
Jeongguk nods. “Like crazy. You know, Yoongi said this issue will a best seller and he wasn’t wrong.” Jeongguk fastens his seatbelt and they set off again. “I think there will be some big changes to how the public perceive you. Not to brag or anything,” he grins. Jimin huffs and playfully bats at Jeongguk’s arm. Jeongguk turns the music up a little and pulls the car away from the curb.
The car journey back to Jeongguk’s place is calming, all of the day’s worries and anxiety seeming to leak out of him as the car moves steadily through the Seoul traffic. As he listens to Jeongguk’s music playlists he finds himself nodding off, feeling Jeongguk reach over and stroke softly at his hand. Besides Hobi, Jimin has never felt safe enough around someone that he can let his guard down completely. It’s a feeling he never thought he would be able to have with someone else. But then along came Jeongguk.
Jeongguk hums along to the music gently, and it reminds Jimin of dancing in his arms beside the Han river. With the memory filling his mind, Jimin lets himself fall asleep with Jeongguk’s fingers loosely tangled between his.
———
Explaining everything to his grandmother goes easier than Jimin expected, and Jimin is reminded why he loves her so much. For a woman who was in much the same situation as he has been, thrust into the spotlight from a young age, she has always remained kind and humble. She never let any of it change her, in fact she always went out of her way to be the person to change the opinion of the public. And she’s done it again for Jimin this time. In a way all this has been her doing.
If it wasn’t for her, Jimin would have never met Jeongguk. He would have never been able to clear his image, and he would have probably never been able to gain the confidence and determination to leave this life that’s been making him so sick.
His grandmother adored the article Jeongguk wrote, the magazine sitting open on her coffee table. She even mentioned that she had called Jeongguk and thanked him excessively for such a job well done.
He sits with her for hours in her plush office, drinking tea and explaining why he wants to retire from acting, and live a quiet life out of the entertainment industry. She simply smiles at him with that same beautiful and kind smile she always has, pulling him into a hug.
“All I’ve ever wanted is for you is to be happy. Your mother has always tried to force you to follow in our footsteps, but I’ve seen that it’s not something you’ve ever enjoyed. I stayed relatively quiet because ultimately it’s your decision whether to stay or leave. But I think leaving is the best decision you’ve made, and I’m so proud of you. Don’t worry about your parents. I’ll talk with them. I’ll make sure they keep in line about all this. I’ll always be here to support you whenever you need it, my lovely Jimin, so don’t be scared for what the future will bring.” She smiles and pinches his cheek. “Embrace the unknown, that’s where the adventures are.”
———
“I’ll be there in about five minutes. Are you sure you don’t want me to pick up food on the way?”
“No. It’s fine,”Jimin replies nonchalantly, trying not to give anything away over the phone. “Just bring yourself, and we can decide on food when you get here.”
“Okay. I’m almost there.”
Jimin has added Jeongguk to his list of people who can leave and enter his apartment without being stopped by security. He also let Jeongguk know the door code, so now Jeongguk can come and go without any problem. He even seems to have made friends with the security team. They all seem to light up when they see Jeongguk. Jimin can’t blame them.
“Okay, see you in a minute,” Jimin says before hanging up the phone.
He turns to look at the five other people gathered in his living room, a congratulations banner on the wall and balloons added to make the party a little more special. “He will be here five minutes.”
“I love surprises parties,” Taehyung claps excitedly, “has Jeongguk ever had one before?” He turns to ask Yoongi, who is sitting crossed legged on the sofa.
Yoongi shakes his head. “I don’t think so. Maybe when he was a child? But not since he’s moved to Seoul. It was a really nice idea.” He smiles at Jimin. “And the fact that you organised it, he will probably hit the ceiling,” he chuckles.
Namjoon and Yoongi had arrived a little earlier than the others, and it had given Jimin the chance to sit down and get to know them a little. He’d learned right away that they adore Jeongguk like he’s family, and Jimin instantly knew he liked them already. Jeongguk had told Jimin that his friends were openly gay, and though Jeongguk himself hadn’t said anything about Jimin’s sexuality to them, they seemed to already know that Jimin and Jeongguk were an item, and that made things less awkward for Jimin. He wasn’t used to coming out to new people, so he was actually quite relieved that they had put two and two together. Jimin also got the vibes that they themselves were something closer than friends. With the subtle touches and looks they were exchanging with each other, it sort of felt like he had met another set of Jeongguk’s in-laws.
Jimin quickly checks around the apartment, to make sure everything is set up properly. There’s a few different dishes on the kitchen countertop. Jimin had tried his best to make kimchi-jjigae, along with some seasoned rice balls and side dishes. It’s not perfect, Jimin isn’t really used to cooking for himself, let alone seven people, but he thinks it wasn’t a complete failure, and Yoongi had helped him a bit. He nervously stirs the simmering pot.
Hobi comes over, rubbing at Jimin’s shoulders, “Jimin-ah, you okay?”
Jimin nods. “Yeah, just a bit nervous. Does it look good?”
Hoseok gives him a hug from behind. “It looks amazing, the food smells delicious. I’s so proud of you for setting this all up. You’re really pushing yourself out of your comfort zone recently,” he glances at Namjoon and Yoongi. “I know they’re close to Jeongguk, but I never expected you to invite people you haven’t really met before. You’re really putting yourself out there. I’m seriously so proud of you.”
Jimin smiles, that familiar comfort he has always felt with Hobi washing over him as his best friend hugs him. “Who would have thought the Editor-in- chief of GQ magazine would be sitting in my living room, drinking my homemade punch?”
Hobi blows out a breath. “Wild.”
“They’re really nice.”
“I know.”
“How am I now friends with three members of the press, hyung? What have I become?”
Hobi laughs. “These are wild times. I mean, you’re literally retiring from acting. That’s a huge deal. Did you ever think that would happen?”
Jimin chews on his bottom lip. “I honestly thought I’d end up dying in this career. These last few months have been a rollercoaster. But I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Hobi gives Jimin a tight squeeze. “Okay, lets turn off the lights and get into position,” he suggests, and Jimin nods following him back over into the living room where Seokjin is handing out confetti cannons.
After a couple more minutes, the beeping from the front door code sounds out, and Jeongguk opens and closes the door behind him. “Uh… Jimin-hyung?” He calls out, stepping further into the apartment. “Hello?” Jimin hears him walk slowly and carefully into the entrance of the living room, fumbling around for the light switch, finally turning on the light.
“Surprise!” Everyone shouts and the confetti cannons blast into the air, showering confetti over a very stunned Jeongguk. He blinks a few times, eyes looking around to take it all in before laughing joyfully.
“What is all this?”
“Congratulations on your big article!” Taehyung shouts, and the others join in, calling out the same.
Jeongguk looks over at Jimin in disbelief, and Jimin can’t hold back the smile on his face.
“Hyung, you arranged this?”
Jimin nods, and Jeongguk walks over, pulling him into a tight hug. He presses a kiss to his cheek before pulling back with glassy eyes. “I don’t know what to say…,”
Jimin chuckles, bringing a hand up to stroke at his cheek. “You like it?”
Jeongguk nods. “I don’t think anyone has ever thrown a surprise party for me. This is amazing. Thank you so much, baby.”
“Get a room!” Seokjin calls out jokingly, and Taehyung hits him with a cushion.
Jimin and Jeongguk both laugh, pulling away with equally red cheeks. It fells strange that he doesn’t have to hide his sexuality in front of these people. That they’re all looking at him and Jeongguk without a change in their expression or their opinion of them. It’s nice to be able to relax, and truly be himself. It’s something he never thought possible when he was younger and coming to terms with his sexuality.
“The food smells amazing.”
“Jimin made it all,” Yoongi says, walking over to ruffle Jeongguk’s hair. “Congratulations for making me and you a hell of a lot richer this month. ” Jeongguk chuckles, batting Yoongi’s hand away.
“You can all help yourself,” Jimin calls out, gesturing to the kitchen before he makes his way over to the speaker system and presses play on the music again. The party playlist he had made filters through the sound system and everyone makes their way over to get food.
Jeongguk is behind him again in a second, wrapping his arms around his waist. “You’re amazing.”
“It’s nothing big,” Jimin says with a shy smile. “Just a thank you for everything. And this article is a big deal for you too, so it’s something that deserves to be celebrated.”
Jeongguk presses a kiss behind his ear. “I kind of wish we were alone…”
Jimin giggles, peeling Jeongguk’s arms from around him, and turning to look into his big brown eyes. For a moment he wishes the same thing. “I’m sure you can hold on for a few hours.”
“No promises.”
The group all eat Jimin’s stew, and Jimin’s nerves settle down when he sees that no one is grimacing, and all seem to genuinely be enjoying it. Before he knows it all the bowls are scraped clean, and the group settle together in the large living area. The space is filled with laughter and music, and despite Jimin’s protests Halli Galli is quickly pulled out by Seokjin, and the group take it in turns to play. Yoongi is surprisingly good, and Seokjin yet again finds himself struggling to maintain his champion title.
Jimin curls up against Jeongguk in the corner of the sofa, his head nestled into the crook of his neck as Jeongguk absentmindedly runs his fingers up and down his arm. Every time Jeongguk laughs his fingers still, and Jimin nudges him, before he starts to draw patterns again. Jimin could easily fall asleep if he’s not careful.
His apartment has always felt too big for him, too empty and sterile. He would spend the days he doesn’t have a schedule sitting on his own on his large sofa watching television until he falls asleep. He never thought this space could ever be filled with so much laughter and warmth.
As the evening progresses, the atmosphere calms, and the conversations turn more intimate. The subject of Jimin’s retirement comes up, and although it comes as no surprise to the majority, Namjoon and Yoongi didn’t see it coming.
“I just… I’m not made for the limelight. It’s not good for my health, or my happiness. I spent a lot of my life just soldiering through, and forcing myself to keep going in some attempt to please others.” Jimin doesn’t say names, but his parents faces flash in his mind. Especially his mother’s disapproving scowl which always manages to hurt him in a way nothing else does. He shifts, and Jeongguk gives a reassuring squeeze to his knee. “This time I want to do something for me. Start fresh, you know?”
Yoongi nods in understanding. “You’ve had it rough in this industry. Now I’ve gotten to know you, I had no clue how much of a punching bag they were turning you into. I’m glad it has all been exposed in Jeongguk’s article. If you need anything, GQ will always have your back.” He has a kind smile, and Jimin sees why Jeongguk cares for him so much. If someone like Yoongi has your back, what is there to be afraid of?
“Thanks you, I appreciate it.” Jimin smiles back at him.
“So, you’re going to do a press conference?” Namjoon asks, sitting on the rug, his back resting up against the chair where Yoongi sits, long legs stretched out under the coffee table.
Jimin feels that familiar spike of anxiety crawl up his spine. That feeling he always gets when the press are mentioned. “Yeah. I have no say in it. The company is already pissed that I’m not re-signing my contract, they want me to explain it to the media.”
“What we all come?” Taehyung suggests, glancing around the room. “You did so well at the award ceremony before. We can support you again like that.”
“I…” Jimin should say no. As far as he is aware this is going to be a pretty high-scale press conference, and he shouldn’t cause any issues. But then again, why can’t have his friends there? “…Would that be okay?” His voice comes out small as he glances around at all of them, before his eyes land on Jeongguk beside him. He doesn’t want to be a pain, but he really does feel like he will crumble on stage in front of all those reporters.
Jeongguk gives him a look that says ‘are you crazy?’ “Hyung. I thought it was already assumed that I would be there. I’ve already planned how to weasel my way onto the stage with you.”
“What?” Jimin frowns. He isn’t sure if Jeongguk is joking or not. He looks serious.
Yoongi answers Jimin’s confusion. “I’ve already gotten a lot of feedback about Jeongguk’s article. It’s been suggested that he hold a press conference answer some of the public’s questions.”
Jeongguk nods. “So I suggested that we do both at the same time. The article and the fact you are retiring are linked anyway. A lot of the reasons are explained in the article. So, yeah,” he grins, “it gives me an excuse to be right there with you.”
“You’re going to be next to me?”
“Is that okay?”
Jimin nods quickly. “Yes, please.”
“Sorted!” Hobi claps, “and we will all be there too. So don’t worry.”
Jeongguk pulls Jimin into his arms. “We’ve always got your back, Jimin-hyung.”
Warmth blossom in Jimin’s chest as he mets into Jeongguk’s hold. “I know you do.”
———
Just breathe.
Just breathe.
Jimin breathes in deeply through his nose, exhaling a shaky breath. It doesn’t help. His breathing quickly becomes quick and shallow. His heart is thundering against his ribs, the feeling of panic thick in his throat.
He tries to look at himself in the bathroom mirror, gripping the sink to ground himself, but his reflection is blurry.
“Shit,” Jimin whimpers, stumbling backwards until his back hits the wall behind him and he slides down to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. He drops his head back as his vision blurs at the sides, everything turning blue as a prickling sensation runs across his scalp. He digs his nails into his palms, the sharp pain cutting through the haze somewhat.
He can hear a knocking, but it sounds distant through the ringing in his ears.
“Jimin-ah?” Hobi’s voice comes through the door. He sounds worried. “Are you okay? They’re ready to start the press conference…”
Jimin drops his head against his knees, his breathing ragged. He hates this. Any time the press are involved his anxiety shoots through the roof. The idea of an entire conference hall full of them asking him questions, and him having to sit in front of them and force a smile makes him feel like a sheep thrown to ravenous wolves.
He can only imagine what they’ll ask.
The door clicks open and theres a shuffling sound before a cool hand presses against Jimin’s cheek and his face is being lifted.
Jeongguk. Jeongguk’s here.
Jeongguk cradles Jimin’s face in his hands as he looks at him with wide eyes full of concern. Hobi is the other side of him, equally as worried.
“Breathe, baby,” he hushes as his thumbs carefully stroke at Jimin’s cheeks, “you need to breathe for me, okay? Copy me, in and out.”
Jimin nods, trying his best to imitate Jeongguk’s slow breathing. He fucking hates this. Why does he have to be like this? He’s been in the limelight since childhood and yet he still can’t handle the press even after all these years.
“Hey, hey. Look at me.” Jeongguk’s soothing voice cuts through the mess in Jimin’s mind. “Do you want to leave? We can leave. Just say the word. You’re not trapped okay? You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”
Jimin shakes his head, still taking deep breaths. His head is clearing a little as he focuses on his two most important people. “I can do it. I w-want to. I want to end all this shit. Tell them- they can all shove their Naver a-articles up their asses.”
Jeongguk smiles through his concern, a huff of laughter coming out. “That’s my Jimin. There’s no rush okay? Take your time. What do you need?”
“I just need five minutes,” Jimin sighs, his vision clearing, Jeongguk’s soothing touch helping him to calm down.
“Gotcha,” Hobi says, standing and walking to the door, “I’ll tell them to delay for ten minutes.”
Once Hobi closes the door behind him, Jimin drops his head back with a thud against the wall. “I can’t believe I’m fucking doing this again. I’m sorry. I should be better at this by now.”
“Hey,” Jeongguk’s hands move down as he strokes at Jimin’s arms, “don’t you dare apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. Speaking in front of a crowd isn’t an easy thing for anyone, especially when it’s members of the press. Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes,” Jimin nods, “I’m sure.”
“I’ll be right next to you, okay? If anyone asks any inappropriate questions then I can step in.”
Jimin takes a deep breath, breathing out slowly. He feels exhausted already. The fact that he still has to go out and do an entire press conference makes him feel like vomiting. He can’t wait for this all to be over. “Thank you.”
Jeongguk shifts so he’s sitting next to Jimin, his back against the wall, and Jimin lays his head on his shoulder as he concentrates on calming down, Jeongguk stroking his hand gently. After a few minutes, Jimin lifts his head. Jeongguk turns to look at him. “Ready to go?”
Jimin nods. Jeongguk stands and turns to help him up. Jimin stands and straightens his collar, brushing down his now wrinkled suit. Jeongguk is just as dressed up, wearing his own fitted black suit and shirt which make him look extra handsome. His long hair is styled back out of his face, and he looks at Jimin with that same softness in his eyes that he always does.
He’s going out in front of the wolves, but this time he’s not alone. This time he has his own wolf by his side.
They walk out of the bathroom to find a group of Jimin’s management team hovering nervously. They all heave a sigh of relief when they see him. “Ready?” Manager Kim walks over to him, eyes searching his face. He’s the manager that has worked closely with Jimin for the longest. Although Jimin does his best to hide it, he knows Jimin’s struggles. He looks surprised that Jimin looks relatively put together. He probably thought that Jimin had snuck out of the bathroom window or something, which has happened on more than one occasion.
“Ready.”
“I’ll be right back here,” Hobi says with a squeeze to Jimin’s shoulder.
“And I’ll be right next to you.” Jeongguk echoes.
Jimin nods, swallowing dryly.
Entering the conference hall, it’s the same routine. The barrage of camera flashes threaten to blind him as the members of the press call out his name to try and get him to look in their direction and pose for a picture.
Jimin doesn't play along this time and simply bows politely a few times, instead focusing on the layout of the stage. There’s a long desk with a row of chairs set behind, a microphone set up in front of each seat. Two of Jimin’s managers move past him swiftly to sit on the far two seats, leaving a spaces for Jimin, and a space beside him for Jeongguk. Jimin bows once more to the room before walking to his seat and sitting down. The material of the chair is a rough velvet material, and Jimin instantly starts to brush his hands across the seat cushion. He concentrates on the sensation, and not on the hundreds of pairs of eyes that are locked onto him.
There are spotlights lighting up the stage, but not in the same way as when he’s at an award show, or when he’s filming. They aren’t blindingly bright. This time he can clearly see the audience, which is the last thing he wants. But its necessary for a press conference. He clears his throat, thankful for the glass of water prepared on the table in front of him which he drinks down quickly.
There is movement next to him and Jimin looks to see Jeongguk sitting down in the chair beside him. He scoots his chair closer to Jimin as he tucks himself in. It’s a small movement, unnoticeable to those in front of them, but it almost makes Jimin want to cry. With the cover of the enclosed table in front of them he reaches over and fumbles for Jeongguk’s hand. Instead he sort of gropes at his thigh, but once Jeongguk realises what Jimin is searching for, he instantly takes his hand into his own and entwines their fingers, giving Jimin’s hand a reassuring squeeze.
Its’s instantly grounding. Jimin takes a breath and finally looks out at the audience, straightening his posture. He feels his jaw threaten to lock as his heart thunders and he wonders if he looks like the arrogant, untouchable celebrity that they all love painting him as. He spots Taehyung and Jin standing in the back corner, masks covering most of their faces. It looks like some of the press have noticed them, curiously glancing and snapping photos. They give Jimin a small wave when they see him looking, and Jimin feels a wave of reassurance.
The cameras flash again, and this time Jimin doesn’t look away. He focuses on the patterns Jeongguk draws on the back of his hand under the table.
Then the audience falls quiet.
From what Jimin is aware, the press doesn’t actually know why they’ve all been called for this sudden conference. There all waiting with anticipation to find out what this could be about.
Jimin’s manager gives a general introduction that Jimin can barely hear. Something about the article. Something about the delay of the release of Jimin’s drama due to health concerns. It all just blurs into one sound in his ears. After a while Jeongguk speaks from beside him. He speaks with ease, looking completely unfazed by the crowd of people. One of the reporters in the front row ask Jeongguk a question Jimin doesn’t quite catch.
“Yes. I’m very grateful for how well my article on Park Jimin was received by the general public. I think the reason it made such an impact is because it was based on actual facts instead of hearsay, videos taken out of context, or simply blatant lies, which all of your articles written about Park Jimin are based on. I must admit that even I myself had a negative opinion of Jimin-ssi before I had even met him, and I allowed that to affect how I treated him when we first met. And I usually pride myself on my impartial journalism. Do you see how your articles have a rippling effect that can destroy a person’s image? I truly hope you have all had a chance to read my article. I sincerely hope that you can all see the negative effect your articles have had on Jimin-ssi’s reputation. To say most of you deserve to be sued for defamation is putting it lightly.”
Jimin’s manager clears his throat loudly from beside them, and there is a murmur that runs through the audience. Taehyung cheers from somewhere, Jimin looks at Jeongguk in shock, and Jeongguk turns to flash him a smile, before his expression turns serious again and he turns back to the stunned room. He actually looks like he’s enjoying himself.
Jeongguk clears his throat and continues. “Hounding him from a young age, invading his privacy on a daily basis, and driving him into a corner where he felt that he didn’t even have the right to defend himself? That he would be painted further in a bad light if he spoke out about all this? Is that fair? This has been a case of bullying and harassment on a country-wide scale, and I believe you all owe Park Jimin an apology at the very least.” He smiles down at one particular reporter. “So Mr Kim from… Dispatch, wasn’t it? In response to your question I am happy that the article was received so well. I hope that sums my feelings up on the subject.”
Jimin’s jaw drops as he continues to stare at Jeongguk. He can’t believe he just said that. Jimin’s has never had the nerve to speak like that to the press, but Jeongguk had put them all in their place with just a few words. Crazy bastard. Jimin falls for him even harder in that moment.
He turns back to the sea of faces in front of him, most of the crowd of reporters murmuring amongst themselves in outrage at Jeongguk’s words, and clears his throat. With his hand still entwined with Jeongguk’s, never separated since they sat down, Jimin speaks.
“I’m sure you’re all wondering why you were called here today. While part of it is to answer any questions about the recent article written by Jeon Jeongguk, and to explain the delay in the release of ‘We Met In Spring,” neither of these are the main reason.” Jimin takes a breath, feeling Jeongguk squeeze his hand encouragingly. “I’d like to announce my retirement from acting.”
There’s silence. Just for a second, it’s like you could hear a pin drop. Then all he’ll breaks loose.
The audience explodes into a torrent of camera flashes and shouting, each member of the press waving their hands to try and be the first to have their questions answered. Jimin’s vision dances, overwhelmed by onslaught of light and noise.
Just breathe.
You’re not on your own. Jeongguk is beside you. Hobi is just off the side of the stage. Tae and Jin are in the audience. You can do this.
Jimin takes a breath.
“Maybe this seems sudden to you all.” The crowd dies down as Jimin starts to speak again. He speaks clearly, so there can be no misunderstandings, or mistranslations. “But to me this has been a decision that I have not taken lightly. I have been contemplating early retirement for a few years now, but I never thought that it would be possible. I just kept on pushing myself, and ignoring the warning signs telling me to stop.” He looks out at the people sitting before him, seeing the humans behind the cameras and usernames. “I was addicted to a routine that was making me very unwell, both physically and mentally. Personally, I don’t think I was made for this kind of career It’s not one that has ever come naturally to me, and as the years have gone by I have struggled more and more with being in the limelight. When the media decided to make me some sort of punching bag, it led me down a very dark path. I hope you’ve all read The Inside Story article, if you haven’t, I’d like to ask you to do so. I think it summarises in words much better than my own what led me to this decision.”
Jimin can see Jeongguk smile out of the corner of his eye. He continues, wanting to stress a certain point. “I want to emphasise how grateful I am to those who have supported me throughout the years. My management team,” he gestures to his two managers sitting beside him who have respectfully not interrupted, and even seem proud. “My stylist and best friend who has been with me from the beginning,” Jimin looks to the side of the stage, searching for Hobi who is standing near the door with a teary smile. “My closet friends, and loved ones who have been my biggest support network,” he looks out at Tae and Jin who smile back at him, and squeezes Jeongguk’s hand under the table. “Also my fans who have defended me again and again against all the articles slandering me. I am so thankful to all the people who have helped me to get to this level in my career, and maybe it has been my feelings of gratitude to them that has driven me to come this far despite my struggles, but now I want to make a decision for myself. So maybe for the first time, and the last time, I’d like to ask you to respect my decision and my privacy. I will not be re-signing my contract with M Entertainment, and will also be discontinuing any ambassadorships I currently hold worldwide. I’d like to be left alone to live a normal life as a normal human being. Thank you.”
The noise starts again, the audience all speaking over each other. But Jimin doesn’t care. A huge feeling of relief washes over him like never before. It’s like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He looks at Jeongguk, and he can’t help but break into a smile. Jeongguk smiles back, that adorable toothy smile that makes his nose scrunch up. God he loves that man.
Jimin reluctantly lets his hand slip from Jeongguk’s as he stands up and straightens his suit. Jeongguk stands up quickly next to him, like he can’t wait to get out of there. The thought makes Jimin happy
The sound of the crowd goes up a pitch, the members of the press borderline desperate as they call out his name. They have that same look in their eyes that his executives did. Panic. They’re losing their number one prey. Their best-seller. Their money maker.
How sad that that’s all he’s ever been to them. Now it’s all over.
Jimin leans down to speak into the mic one last time, speaking calmly as he looks out at the people who have made his life hell. “And no, I won’t answer any of your questions. Ever again.”
With that he leaves. Jeongguk by his side. His future ahead of him looking bright for the first time.
Hobi pulls him into a hug when they get into the hallway. and Jimin feels like crying as he sinks into his arms the same way he always has since they were children. “I’m so proud of you, Jimin-ah. You really did it!”
Taehyung and Jin appear besides them, joining in the hug and squeezing so tight Jimin has to tap out before he’s crushed. Jeongguk is dragged into the hug as well, and seems equally as breathless when they all separate. Jimin’s friends shower him with praise, each one of their faces filled with pride and love, and as Jimin looks around them he realises that although there’s a possibility that his relationship with his parents may never improve, he still has a family surrounding him who love him no matter what.
Jimin can hear his managers speaking to the crowd, probably explaining some of the details in a way that acts as damage control for their company, which is probably currently seeing a plummet in their stocks. He sighs wearily and looks at Jeongguk, who is looking back at him like he knows exactly what Jimin is thinking. “You don’t owe them anything, okay? You’ve done more than enough.”
Jimin smiles. He didn’t realise how much he needed to hear those words. “Can we get away from here? Like what we did before? Just drive somewhere far away?”
Jeongguk pulls out his car keys in response, holding them up with a cheeky grin. “I thought you’d never ask. I’ll let my brother know we’ll be using the boathouse.”
Jimin has to suppress the sudden urge to jump into Jeongguk’s arms and smother him in kisses, knowing that he’s still being watched and probably photographed right now. Still he shows his feeling with his eyes. “Sounds perfect. Lets go.”
They say a quick goodbye to the others, who are ecstatic to know that Jeongguk is going to whisk Jimin away from all the fallout that will come from this announcement, and then Jeongguk is practically dragging him to the car. Jimin can’t help the grin that is plastered on his face. When he reaches the car and jumps into the passenger seat, he lets out a loud groan of relief. Dragging his hands through his gel filled hair, Jimin looks at Jeongguk who slips into the drivers seat and locks the doors behind him.
It feels different from last time. Last time when he ran away with Jeongguk he was longing for freedom, for a life away from the industry which was hellbent on destroying him. This time he’s actually achieved it. He’s finally free.
Jeongguk watches Jimin as he drags his hands through his hair, mussing up the fixed style with a sigh of relief. They look at each other for a moment before Jeongguk is leaning across and grabbing Jimin’s face to pull him into a tender kiss. Jimin reminds himself that the windows are blacked out, and grabs at the front of Jeongguk’s shirt, getting as close as he can. He sighs into the kiss, tasting Jeongguk on his tongue.
“I’m so so proud of you,” Jeongguk says against his lips.
Jimin is breathless by the time they pull apart, his eyes bleary and love-drunk.“… Thank you. For being by my side.”
Jeongguk starts the engine, and reaches over to thread their fingers together. “Always.”
Jeongguk drops Jimin off briefly at his apartment so he can quickly change and pack a bag, and Jeongguk goes to do the same. Jimin changes into a pair of shorts and a comfortable t-shirt, the weather warm enough that he doesn’t need a jacket. He doesn’t pack many clothes, because if he’s honest, he just wants to laze around in Jeongguk’s old T-shirts again for the foreseeable future.
Once Jeongguk sends him a message that he’s back in the carpark, Jimin throws his bag over his shoulder and heads for the door. He gives his apartment a once-over and makes sure everything is locked up, because he isn’t even sure when he will be back at Nine One Hannam, and he absolutely loves that thought.
When he jumps back into the passenger seat of Jeongguk’s car, he’s so full of excitement that he drags Jeongguk in for another long kiss before they set off onto the road together.
Jeongguk has changed into a pair of baggy shorts and a dark t-shirt. His hair is down now and sits in pretty curls framing his face perfectly. His personal playlist filters through the speakers, soft melodies which pair perfectly with the late-night summer air. Jimin rolls his window all the way down and weaves his fingers through the air as they drive down the motorway leading out of Seoul.
Jimin watches the city fade into the distance behind him, and he breathes.
For the rest of the journey, he and Jeongguk talk about everything and anything that comes to mind. Life, the future, their worries and concerns, their hopes and dreams. Jeongguk talks about his own worries, his own anxieties which Jimin didn’t even realise he had. Jimin plays with Jeongguk’s fingers as his hand rests in his lap, listening to Jeongguk explain the guilt he felt and still feels about pursuing writing instead of taking on his family’s business. The fact that even though his parents support his lifestyle, and have accepted him ever since he came out to them, he still feels like he’s letting them down.
Jimin talks about his parents. The fact that he doesn’t know if he will ever come out to them. How he feels like telling them will destroy whatever relationship they have left, and although his parents, especially his mother, are the cause of a lot of his stress and anxiety, he still craves their love and acceptance. Jeongguk listens, and doesn’t judge. He actually reassures Jimin that he has no obligation to come out to anyone, and should do so only if he feels that it will be what’s best for his own mental health. Jimin feels lighter after their conversation. He knows that whatever the future brings, he has Jeongguk, and they can face it together.
When they reach the boathouse the sky is a pretty lavender colour. Jimin jumps out of the car and kicks off his sliders, running into the water until it’s up to his knees. He stretches his arms up above his head and shouts out at the open ocean. Jeongguk laughs from behind him, and then his arms are around Jimin’s waist and his chin is on his shoulder.
The water splashes around their knees as the waves roll in and out. Jimin glances over his shoulder at the boathouse- his hideaway for however long he needs, hidden away, just him and Jeongguk, and the ocean. Lifting a hand, he threads it into Jeongguk’s long hair, and turns his head to kiss him softly.
The sea air is salty, the water is cool, and Jeongguk is warm against his back.
“What do you want for dinner?” Jeongguk asks.
“Hmm,” Jimin contemplates, “I heard there’s an award winning seafood restaurant around here. Sources say the crab is way better than in Seoul.”
Jeongguk’s face lights up, and he pulls Jimin in for a kiss. “Those sources are correct. And the owners are some of the nicest people on earth, in my completely non-biased opinion. They’re probably going to be happier to see you than me to be honest.
Jimin laughs and slips his hand into Jeongguk’s as they make their way back up the beach to the boathouse. “I can’t wait. And for dessert… I want to eat you.” Jimin says, licking his lips suggestively.
Jeongguk stumbles over his feet, looking at Jimin like he can’t believe those words came out of his mouth. He suddenly starts to run towards the boathouse, dragging a giggling Jimin behind him. “Dessert can come before dinner right? How about a quick appetiser?”
Jimin laughs so much he finds it hard to not fall over as they run. “Sounds perfect.”
———
Jimin likes to watch Jeongguk sleep in the morning. He’s gotten into a sort of habit of waking up earlier, and just admiring the way Jeongguk looks when he sleeps. He reaches out and brushes a hand through his hair, trailing his fingers along his jaw. The touch gently rouses Jeongguk, and he opens one eye to look up at Jimin.
“Mmh, good morning,” Jeongguk says, his voice hoarse. He reaches out and wraps his arms around Jimin, rolling them so he is on his back, and Jimin is on top of him. Jeongguk slides his hands down, and squeezes Jimin’s thighs in a way that makes Jimin draw in a breath, tugging so that Jimin’s legs fall around his hips. Jimin loves how perfectly they fit together and how good Jeongguk feels between his legs.
Jeongguk is still naked from the night before, Jimin can’t help but be reminded of it where they are pressed together. Jimin is just as bare under one of Jeongguk’s old oversized T-shirts that he had slipped on earlier in the morning.
“Good morning,” Jimin sighs, sighing and nuzzling into Jeongguk’s shoulder. He drops his head against Jeongguk’s chest, fingers absentmindedly drawing circles on Jeongguk’s skin.
Jeongguk lazily stroked his hands up and down Jimin’s spine, and then down his thighs and back up. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not too long. You looked so cute sleeping, I couldn’t wake you.” Jimin replies.
Jeongguk presses a kiss to Jimin’s head and inhales. Jeongguk says that recently Jimin’s hair smells like soap and salt water. Jimin says Jeongguk’s smells the same It must be because they swims in the ocean a lot since they arrived, and the salt clings to their hair and skin.
If someone were to ask him in the future what scent reminds him of home, this would probably be it.
Jeongguk’s hands keep catching on the hem of Jimin’s T-shirt, so he tugs it up high so it sits above Jimin’s shoulder blades, and then continues stroking his bare skin, spreading his fingers across the flesh of Jimin’s ass, before dragging them across the dimples in his lower back. Jimin feels goosebumps rise everywhere Jeongguk touches, his heartbeat quickening with each tender caress.
Jeongguk doesn’t seem to realise the affect his touch is having on Jimin right now, lighting a fire deep in his stomach. Jimin can’t help himself as he starts to squirm, his breath hitching again. His hips shift, and Jeongguk must feel how hard he is as his cock brushes across his hip. Jeongguk’s hands pause and he lifts his head to look down at Jimin.
“Baby?”
“S-sorry, it’s just- your touch…” Jimin confesses. He feels embarrassed, but at the same time he’s so turned on he can’t find it in himself to care at this moment. Instead he starts to rock his hips, grinding against Jeongguk, and he can feel that Jeongguk hardening too. “F-feels so good when you touch me.”
Jeongguk grips Jimin’s hips with both hands, pulling Jimin against him as he grinds up and rolls his hips.“God, Jimin. You’ll be the death of me.”
Their breaths become more and more laboured as they grind against each other. Someone leaks precum, maybe it’s both of them, and it does wonders at aiding the slide of their cocks together. Jeongguk hitches his knees up between Jimin’s legs and the angle forces their hips closer, sparks shooting up Jimin’s spine. Jimin lifts his head to chase Jeongguk’s lips, panting against his mouth between messy kisses.
Jeongguk sits them both up, and Jimin’s hips sink down against his, not even hesitating to continue the pace they had set. He rolls his hips unashamedly, their cocks hot and hard between them. Jimin threads his fingers into Jeongguk’s hair, eyes never leaving Jeongguk’s as he moans his name over and over.
Jimin’s orgasm takes him by surprise. His come spurts over Jeongguk’s abs as his thighs quiver and his eyes roll back, head lulling to the side as he lets out a low groan. All he can think of is Jeongguk, Jeongguk, Jeongguk.
“Fuck, Jimin,” Jeongguk growls as he flips them over, dropping Jimin amongst the soft sheets and sitting up between his parted legs. Jeongguk looks down at him like he wants to devour him, cheeks flushed red and long hair messy. When he looks at Jimin like that, Jimin can’t help but feel sexy. He wants to devour and be devoured.
Jeongguk runs his hand through the mess Jimin left on his abs, using the cum to slick his cock up, the tip a deep angry red where he hasn’t come yet. “You came fast this morning,” he says with a teasing grin, and Jimin wants to kiss that look right off his face.
“S-still sensitive from last night,” Jimin says, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as his eyes rake over Jeongguk’s toned body. He bends his knees up, exposing himself to Jeongguk, making him curse under his breath. “I’m still loose from last night. You won’t needed to stretch me.”
Jeongguk looks like he’s about to go feral. “You sure you’ll be okay? Last night was pretty intense,” he says breathlessly, stroking himself to ease some of the pressure. Memories of the previous night flash through Jimin’s mind: being pinned up against the wall as Jeongguk fucked into him from behind.
Jimin nods, knees spreading in invitation. He’s already getting hard again. He needs Jeongguk so badly. Jeongguk lines himself up, and slowly sinks inside him. Jimin’s inner walls quickly adjust, having grown used to the feeling and girth of Jeongguk’s cock. He relaxes his muscles as best he can, whimpering as Jeongguk bottoms out. Jeongguk groans Jimin’s name, his head dropping back, eyes closed and lips parted. He look’s like sin between Jimin’s legs, and Jimin’s hands brush up across his abs and chest, groping the muscles there as he moans Jeongguk’s name softly.
Jeongguk starts to rock his hips, finding that rhythm that they both love, and before long Jimin’s moans have gone up a pitch, his back arching and hands tangling into the sheets. Jeongguk shifts forwards, hands gripping Jimin’s hips and then he’s hitting Jimin’s prostate just right. Jimin cries out as hot pleasure shoots through his body with each thrust, and then his body seizes up as his second orgasm hits him hard. Jimin tightens around Jeongguk and Jeongguk can’t hold back anymore, reaching his own high as he comes inside of Jimin.
Jeongguk collapses onto Jimin’s chest, pressing him into the mattress in a way that has Jimin sighing happily, both of their chests heaving as they come down from their highs. Jimin wraps his arms around Jeongguk, hugging him tightly. Jeongguk rests his head on Jimin’s chest, and Jimin wonders if he can hear how fast Jimin’s heart is beating.
They stay like that, listening to the sound of the waves outside as they hold each other.
“I wish we didn’t have to go back,” Jimin whispers.
Jeongguk lifts his head, leaning his chin on Jimin’s chest. “Yeah?”
Jimin nods. “The longer I’ve spent out here, away from Seoul, the more I’ve come to realise how much I needed to get away. From it all… The city, the fame, that whole life.”
Jeongguk hums in understanding. “Well then why don’t we just stay here?”
“Don’t joke like that…”
“I’m not joking.”
Jimin frown, but can’t stop the hope that rises inside him. “What about your job?”
Jeongguk shrugs. “I’ll discuss it with Yoongi-hyung, but I work remotely ninety percent of the time anyway, and I can always commute to Seoul for the other ten percent.”
“What about our friends?”
“You’re talking like we’re going to move to another country,” Jeongguk laughs, “Busan is only two hours away from Seoul. We can visit them and they can come to us whenever they like. How about that?”
“You’d really leave Seoul for me?”
Jeongguk looks at him like he’s blown a fuse, “ For us. I thought we kind of come as a pair now, or am I mistaken?”
Jimin shakes his head quickly. “Of course we do! I just didn’t want to make a decision for you.”
“Well, where you go, I go. Seoul was never my final destination. I achieved what I went there to do. I got my big break, I have a secure job, and I have the freedom to write what I want. I’m ready to move on to my next chapter with you. So, what do you say? Do you want to move here together?”
Jimin things he might explode from happiness. He starts to nod before Jeongguk even finished his sentence, smiling brightly. “Yes, I want to. Let’s live here. Together.”
———
6 months later.
“Brakes!” Jeongguk screams.
Jimin accidentally slams his foot onto the brake so hard they both lurch forwards in their seat. Jeongguk can feel his heart beating in his throat like he’s doing some sort of extreme sport. Who would have known teaching Jimin to drive would release this kind of adrenaline in him?
Jimin looks at Jeongguk with a sheepish grin, hands tightening around the steering wheel of Jeongguk’s car. “Oops.. sorry.”
Jeongguk chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I know I said I’d teach you how to drive, but I didn’t realise I’d need life insurance to do it, hyung.”
Jimin pouts in his seat. “I’m not that bad.”
“How is it we’re learning in a huge empty carpark, and you find the one bollard, and aim the car right at it?”
“I was practicing my manoeuvres. It could have been an old lady that I needed to avoid.”
“And did you avoid it?” Jeongguk gestures to the bollard right in front of the car’s bumper.
Jimin looks at it, and then back to Jeongguk. He speaks after a moment of contemplation. “I almost did. That’s why I’m learning. You’re not being a very understanding teacher.”
Jeongguk laughs, ruffling Jimin’s hair which is now back to his natural black. They had been at the boathouse for about two weeks when Jimin had walked in with a box of hair dye he’d bought from the market, and Jeongguk had helped him dye his hair, leaving the small bathroom in the boathouse a complete mess, and staining Jimin’s forehead and ears for a few days.
Jimin rarely styles his hair nowadays, preferring to leaving it windswept and wavy from the sea water. Jeongguk absolutely loves the natural look on Jimin, his skin tanned to a golden colour from where he spend his time in the sun. Jimin really suits living by the coast.
“Okay, okay. Why don’t you put it in reverse and we’ll try some parking practice.”
“Aye-aye, captain,” Jimin says, carefully putting the car into reverse and backing away from the bollard.
Jimin wanted to learn to drive, he made that very clear to Jeongguk. He explained that his whole life he had always had drivers pick him up and drop him off places, and so there was no need to learn to drive himself. But with this fresh start in life, one of the first things on his wish list was to finally get his licence. He wanted that independence for himself. Plus, now that they live out in a tiny village, it’s a necessity to be able to drive.
“Okay, just like I showed you. Try to get into this bay. Remember to follow the markers on the parking camera.”
Luckily Jeongguk has a relatively new car, and all cars in Korea have parking cameras, so it makes learning to park a lot easier for Jimin. He’s actually quite good at it, and when he successfully reverses the car into the space and puts it into park, he turns to look at Jeongguk with a proud grin. Jeongguk hooks a knuckle under Jimin’s chin and leans in to kiss him. “Well done baby. Perfect parking.”
“Thank you,” Jimin smiles against his lips.
“Let’s try another lap of the carpark and then maybe we can make it out onto a main road this lesson.” Jeongguk sits back and tightens his seatbelt subtly.
“You think I’m ready to go on an actual road? With other cars?” Jimin asks hopefully.
“Uh…We’ll see. Let’s just start by avoiding that bollard this time.”
Jimin nods, putting his hands on the steering wheel at the exact ten o’clock and two o’clock positions, his brows drawing down in determination. “Let’s do this.”
They continue their lesson, and to Jimin’s delight they make it out onto a main road. Jeongguk actually gets him to drive them home, which Jimin is ecstatic about. He drives them through the sea side town, along the main road lining the seafront, the sun low in the sky like a beacon calling them back to their home. Jimin follows the ocean road with careful concentration, barely passing ten other cars on their way. Turning down a small road between persimmon trees, they come to their little home on shoreline overlooking a small bay.
It’s a bit of a project, most houses this far out have been owned by farmers and fishermen and are not like the modern apartments you find in Seoul, but that’s what made the pair fall in love with it. The sea-worn exterior and cozy interior, and a small garden filled with flowers that bloom in all seasons captured their hearts the moment they saw it.
They pull up on the gravel drive, and Jimin puts the car into park. “I did it,” he smiles, unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the car door.
“You’ll be ready for your driving test soon,” Jeongguk gets out of the passenger side. “How about driving to work tomorrow for your first day?” He suggests as he walks around the car and follows Jimin up the stone path to their front door.
Jimin fishes out his keys from his pocket, and opens the front door which welcomes them with a creak. The inside is a mix of both their styles. Lots of wood and earthy colours, with walls of bookshelves housing Jeongguk’s collection as well as his fish tank sitting in pride of place atop an old reclaimed desk they found at an antiques fair in Busan. Off the main living area is a bedroom which has french doors that open onto their garden which has a path which leads down to the ocean.
“Don’t remind me, I’m so nervous.”
“You’re going to do great, hyung. I saw you practicing your routine and it’s so good.” Jeongguk says as they kick their shoes off.
“Me and Hobi-hyung choreographed it together, but it’s different when I’m dancing just with him. Teaching a class of kids…”
“You’ll do amazing. And if you need a moment, just take a break. Hobi-hyung will be there too right?”
Jimin nods. “Yeah. We’re going to do the first few lessons together, until I feel confident to do it by myself.”
Once Jimin had decided to move down to the south coast of Korea with Jeongguk, he had sat down with Hobi and had a long conversation about his plans. Hobi was over the moon for Jimin, and had actually been the one to suggest a business proposal. Hobi himself had only remained a stylist in Seoul because he knew that Jimin needed him by his side, but his dream had always been dance, much like Jimin. So he had told Jimin his idea: to open a dance school in Busan. He wanted to give people of any age the chance to dance freely, the way he and Jimin were unable to do growing up.
There wasn’t as many opportunities for people in Busan, so opening it there was something that interested him. Also, he would be close to Jimin, so really it was a no brainer. Jimin and Hobi had gone into business together, opening Hope on the Street dance studio. It had taken a few months to set it all up, but now it’s finally up and running, with classes of all age groups being fully booked.
It’s only a thirty minute bus ride into Busan from their house, and even faster if they drive. Jimin had started attending the studio regularly to dance with Hoseok, rekindling their love for dancing together like the old days. Thats when Hoseok had suggested that Jimin teach one of his contemporary dance classes, and Jimin had miraculously agreed.
“Just be yourself,” Jeongguk says, walking into their little kitchen, “don’t worry too much about being a teacher. Just dance because you love it, and the kids will vibe off that. I can tell you from experience that watching you dance is extremely inspiring, even from a non-dancer like me.” He pulls Jimin in to a hug, Jimin resting his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, “You’ll do great.” Jeongguk reassures him. “I just know you’re going to be an amazing teacher.”
———
Jeongguk’s feet ache and his thighs burn, sweat pooling between his shoulder blades and soaking through his grey t-shirt. He turns to Taehyung who looks equally as sweaty as him. “Who’s idea was it to do the advanced adult dance lesson? Huh?” He points an accusatory finger, flicking it between Taehyung and Seokjin who is standing the other side. “It was definitely one of you two.”
Seokjin raises his hands defensively. “The YouTube video didn’t make it look this hard. I was deceived.”
“You at the back, try to keep up!” Jimin calls out from the front of the dance studio, a playful smile lighting up his face as he looks at Jeongguk,
“Yes sir!” Jeongguk calls back, and Jimin lips pull into a smile as he turns to help some of the students at the front with the difficult choreography.
“Yoongi’s already given up,” Seokjin laughs, turning to look at Yoongi who is practically laying on the floor at this point, with Namjoon crouched next to him.
“He’s going to get scolded by Hobi-hyung again,” Taehyung laughs shaking his head.
Speaking of the devil, Hoseok walks over and looks down at Yoongi and Namjoon with his hands on his hips, “Why are you on the floor?”
“I don’t have the stamina for this,” Yoongi groans, “I need a drink.”
“There will be plenty of drinks tonight at my place, but you need to earn them by completing this choreography.”
Jimin walks over to Jeongguk. “You’re actually doing really well for an advanced class,” he says proudly, “I think I was right, maybe you should have become an idol after all.”
“You think I’m doing well?” Jeongguk wheezes. “I feel like I’m dying. How do you have such a high level of stamina, hyung?”
“It comes with practice, you’ll get there. You’re coping better than those two,” Jimin giggles, gesturing at Yoongi and Namjoon who are still on the floor, and still getting scolded by Hobi.
The popularity of their dance lessons grew quickly, and now Jimin holds regular lessons with small groups of all ages. It’s become his new job, and Jimin is very vocal about how much he loves it. With every successful lesson his confidence increases but by bit.
“You’re students seem to love you,” Jeongguk smiles.
Jimin looks around at the class practicing their choreography, nodding in agreement. “Yeah. I’ve got a nice group here.”
“I’m proud of you.”
Jimin smiles to himself, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “We”re going to Hobi-hyung’s apartment after this right?” Jimin says to their friend group at the back of the class. “We can order chicken.”
Hobi nods. “Of course! We were already discussing drinks.”
“I bought Halli Galli,” Seokjin announces before narrowing his eyes at Jeongguk. “It’s about time for a re-match, I think.”
Jeongguk laughs, cracking his knuckles, “You’re on. Prepare to go down hyung.”
Alright!” Jimin calls out, clapping his hands for attention as he walks back towards the front of the dance studio, “let’s take it from the top? Ready? Five, six, seven, eight-”
———
The thought of being free from the life he was living in Seoul used to be an unachievable dream that Jimin would not even allow himself to think about.
But here he is. One year later, living a quiet life with the man he loves, working alongside his best friend in an job he has always dreamed of. He would have never imagined this could be his reality, and yet it is.
Jimin still suffers with anxiety, some days worse than others. It’s not something that can be magically healed, and Jimin will probably spend his whole life working through his issues. Some days he feels confident, and others he wants to hide away from the world. But either way, he has Jeongguk by his side. He’ll always have Jeongguk in his corner, and that thought comforts him on his bad days. He sees a therapist in Busan, which helps a lot, and he has a new prescription of medication that seems to work better for him. He’s growing in confidence, and he barely looks at his phone except to upload videos to YouTube.
It was Jeongguk’s idea. Jimin would film himself dancing so he could monitor his routines, and Jeongguk had suggested he upload them to the dance school’s social media channels, because they were so good.
So he did. Maybe he did it to heal. Maybe he was proud of himself for doing what he always wanted to do. Maybe he wanted to show people the real him, and when he dances he truly feels like he’s in his rawest form.
So he uploaded some videos. And he titled them #ThisIsJimin. And they went viral, his fans so happy to see him doing what he loves. Of course some of the media in Seoul found them and a few articles were written about him ‘coming out of hiding’ but this time Jimin didn’t care.
They no longer have control over him. It all seems so far away.
He is healing. He is happy. He can finally breathe.
“You okay?” Jeongguk ask, threading their fingers together as they walk down the path leading from their house, to the beach. The sun is setting and the sky is a dusky pink, like it’s been painted with a watercolours. “What are you thinking about?”
“Just life. Us.” Jimin smiles. “You know, I called my parents…”
“You did?”
“It was the first time I’ve spoken to them since the award show… It didn’t go terribly. I was actually surprised at how civil my mother was trying to be. I think I’m going to try and call them regularly. He shrugs, “who knows, maybe one day we will meet in person again.”
“That’s great, hyung. I’m proud of you.”
Jimin nods, tightening his hold on Jeongguk’s hand. “If… If I go to meet them… will you come with me?”
Jeongguk looks at him with a fond smile. He lifts their joined hands and presses a kiss to the back of Jimin’s. “I’ll be right there beside you.”
“I don’t think it will be any time soon. But maybe one day.”
“Speaking of parents,”Jeongguk says as he leads Jimin off the path and down towards the secluded beach, “my mother has made a boatload of kimchi for us, she’s going to drop it round tomorrow. I’m pretty sure it will last us the whole year.”
“I love her so much.”
“She loves you too, if she hasn’t made that clear.” Jeongguk laughs. “But just remember I love you the most.”
Jimin feels himself blush, even after a year Jeongguk makes his heart flutter. “I love you too, Jeongguk-ah.”
As they walk down the beach, the ocean breathes the same way it always has for them, welcoming them. A plaid picnic mat lays on the sand, a small stove and grill pan sitting ready on one side, a glowing lantern in the centre.
“Happy anniversary, baby,” Jeongguk holds his hand out to Jimin, smiling that smile that has always made Jimin’s insides melt, and his knees weak.
“You arranged a picnic?”
“Of course I did. I thought we could recreate our first date by the river. Minus the pouring rain. So what do you say? Park Jimin,” Jeongguk steps back and holds out his hand, “may I have this dance?”
Jimin laughs, his head thrown back, eyes turning up into little half moons. How did he get so lucky, to be loved by this wonderful man, the man who gave him back his life. “Of course,” Jimin takes Jeongguk’s hand, stepping into his waiting arms, the arms that have always caught him. “Always.” There’s no music. Just the sound of the ocean, and Jeongguk’s melodic voice as he hums a gentle tune. Jimin lays his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder as they dance, letting his eyes fall closed.
Even though their story may not have had the perfect beginning, it’s had the perfect ending.
The end.
Pages Navigation
minitofu on Chapter 1 Wed 15 Dec 2021 09:05AM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Wed 15 Dec 2021 01:41PM UTC
Comment Actions
the28wilde on Chapter 1 Thu 16 Dec 2021 05:28PM UTC
Last Edited Thu 16 Dec 2021 05:30PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Thu 16 Dec 2021 06:24PM UTC
Comment Actions
the28wilde on Chapter 1 Thu 16 Dec 2021 10:39PM UTC
Comment Actions
xueyangs on Chapter 1 Sun 19 Dec 2021 11:02AM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Sun 19 Dec 2021 03:32PM UTC
Comment Actions
scentedflorals on Chapter 1 Sun 19 Dec 2021 04:54PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Sun 19 Dec 2021 07:16PM UTC
Comment Actions
museinme8 on Chapter 1 Mon 20 Dec 2021 03:45PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Mon 20 Dec 2021 10:31PM UTC
Comment Actions
Red_Eyes_Raven on Chapter 1 Mon 20 Dec 2021 09:49PM UTC
Last Edited Mon 20 Dec 2021 10:08PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Mon 20 Dec 2021 10:39PM UTC
Comment Actions
danicore (Guest) on Chapter 1 Fri 05 Jan 2024 07:17AM UTC
Comment Actions
Mad1234 on Chapter 1 Sat 27 Jan 2024 07:01AM UTC
Comment Actions
Walaa abed (Guest) on Chapter 1 Tue 21 Dec 2021 06:04PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Wed 22 Dec 2021 01:22PM UTC
Last Edited Wed 22 Dec 2021 01:22PM UTC
Comment Actions
blums_mineee7 on Chapter 1 Thu 23 Dec 2021 09:05AM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Fri 24 Dec 2021 01:26PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Mon 27 Dec 2021 12:26AM UTC
Comment Actions
ohmyprettything on Chapter 1 Tue 28 Dec 2021 05:36PM UTC
Last Edited Tue 28 Dec 2021 05:37PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Wed 29 Dec 2021 05:43PM UTC
Comment Actions
Aika (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 24 Jan 2022 09:34AM UTC
Comment Actions
Khadejahr2481 on Chapter 1 Thu 24 Mar 2022 01:11PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Thu 24 Mar 2022 07:23PM UTC
Comment Actions
Sweetietweety854 on Chapter 1 Mon 09 May 2022 08:38PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Wed 11 May 2022 09:06PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Fri 02 Sep 2022 07:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Mon 12 Sep 2022 05:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Fri 02 Sep 2022 07:30PM UTC
Comment Actions
ryekat99 on Chapter 1 Fri 16 Dec 2022 04:06AM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Thu 22 Dec 2022 10:04PM UTC
Comment Actions
FuchsiaRoyalty on Chapter 1 Mon 09 Jan 2023 07:08AM UTC
Comment Actions
robbersmall on Chapter 1 Mon 06 Mar 2023 11:43PM UTC
Comment Actions
Emsky on Chapter 1 Mon 24 Apr 2023 11:07AM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Sat 16 Dec 2023 01:51PM UTC
Comment Actions
Koffee136 on Chapter 1 Fri 21 Jul 2023 02:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
Jimjii on Chapter 1 Sat 16 Dec 2023 12:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation