say my name and every color illuminates

by heymacareyna

Summary:

In a world where people only see color once they make eye contact with their soulmate, Caitlyn and Vi have learned to live in black and white. But a chance encounter at the gym changes everything.

Caitvi soulmates au.

Notes:

Work title is from "Spectrum" by Florence and the Machine.

Chapter title is from "Just Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Bublé.

Chapter 1: i guess it’s half timing and the other half’s luck

Caitlyn Kiramman yearned to know the color pink. 

She’d heard it was warm, bright, playful, everything opposite her life so far. As the only daughter of a congresswoman, everything had been orderly and picture-perfect since the day she was born. Since before then, even. No room for warm or bright or playful when the eyes of the country were on you. 

Not that she could see pink even if she had been allowed to have it. Caitlyn’s entire world was in grayscale. Her parents assured her that she’d meet her soulmate’s gaze eventually, that vivid colors would explode into her life all at once one day, but she doubted it. She’d been paraded in front of so many people over the years, and nothing. No luck. If it was going to happen, it would’ve happened already. 

So she lived her life in black and white. It was fine. She didn’t know what she was missing, so she couldn’t be too sad about it. 

But sometimes… sometimes she wondered about pink. 

“Caitlyn?” Her father poked his head into her room. 

She startled from the window seat, where she was curled up with a mug of tea. They had it imported from her parents’ hometown in England, because God knew how badly the Americans could bugger up tea. Iced? Or worse, heated in the microwave? Absolutely foul. “Did you need me?” 

He stepped inside. “Nothing right now, but we have that photo shoot tonight. Make sure you’re prepared for that.” 

Caitlyn sighed and nodded. “I’ll be ready.” Her daily gym run would have to be shorter than usual, but she’d survive. 

He approached her and perched on the other side of the window seat. “Sweetheart, are you doing all right?”

Straightening, she raised her eyebrows. “What makes you ask?”

He shrugged. “You’ve seemed quiet lately.”

She pressed her lips together. “I’m fine, but thank you for checking in.”

Her father hesitated, then rested his hand on hers. “You can come talk to me about anything. You know that, right?”

Caitlyn smiled faintly. “I do. Thank you.” She didn’t want to sound ungrateful; she’d grown up with everything she could ever want. But there was no good way to explain that she was dissatisfied with it all.

Something was missing.

Something pink, perhaps. Whatever pink was.

---

Violet Vanderson slammed her fist into the punching bag in her cheap apartment. Across the room, her teenage sister, Powder, tinkered with one of her inventions. A typical Saturday morning for a less-than-typical pair. 

Vi landed a few more solid hits before pausing to wipe sweat from her temples. “How’s it coming, Pow?” 

“Good. You like it?” Powder held up her work: a miniature shark. Its serrated mechanical jaws opened and shut, and its body moved back and forth like it was swimming. She’d built it out of mismatched bits and pieces of hardware over the course of an hour. 

 “Very nice.” Vi meant it. Powder was a talented engineer on the good days. On the bad days… well, Vi didn’t like to think about the bad days. 

Beaming, Powder set the shark aside. “I need more spray paint. Can we go to the store later?” 

Vi nodded. “Okay if we go after the gym?” She wanted to put it off as long as she could. The art supply store Powder preferred was always a painful reminder that she couldn’t see the colors that her sister could, but she survived every visit out of love for that sister. And out of a healthy sense of self-preservation. 

Powder had been able to see colors since she was five, though her soulmate was long gone now, a passerby in a crowd at the zoo. Vi, on the other hand, was still stuck in black and white. As if life hadn’t been hard enough without full use of her vision. 

Allegedly, when she made eye contact with her soulmate for the first time, she’d be able to see in color. Not that she cared about having a soulmate. Soulmates were worthless on their side of town. What mattered was the color spectrum. Letting anyone know you could only see grayscale was an admission of weakness. 

So Vi kept it to herself. Only Powder knew the truth. That she was incomplete.

But at least she had her baby sister. It was Vi and Powder against the world, always had been. Nothing would ever change that. 

---

After a long shift at the sheriff’s department, Caitlyn drove to the local gym and changed into a workout outfit in the locker room. It was hard to find clothes that fit her six-foot frame, but today’s yoga pants actually reached her ankles. A miracle. 

She strode out to the treadmills, right behind the free weights section. Putting in her earbuds, she took up a warmup pace on her favorite machine. The TVs on the wall were never tuned to any channels she was interested in, so she ignored them in favor of a little people-watching. 

Caitlyn was gay as the day was long, so it wasn’t the men who caught her eye but the women. Specifically, one woman with her back to Caitlyn. Her hair was shorn short in an undercut on one side, with longer layers on the other. Several earrings curled around the shell of her left ear. Broad shoulders. Defined biceps and triceps as she lifted massive weights with wrapped hands. Her strong back was obvious through her cotton tank. Her legs were spread in a solid, confident stance. And as if she wasn’t enough of a looker already, she had an ass that wouldn’t quit. 

Hot fucking damn. 

Was she new here? Caitlyn had certainly never seen her at the gym before; she’d have remembered this amazing specimen of a woman. She sped up on the treadmill, trying not to stare. And failing. 

The woman was glorious. 

Don’t stare. 

But Caitlyn couldn’t take her eyes off her. 

A teenage girl with two long braids caught her looking. She scowled and moved behind the woman, blocking Caitlyn’s view. 

Okay, that’s probably for the best. You’re being creepy.

Caitlyn focused instead on the screen of her treadmill, on the steady rhythm of her pounding feet. The next time she looked up, both young women had disappeared. Disappointment twinged inside her, but she brushed it off. Who cared? Better not to have the distraction. She turned up her music and ran harder. She had to get her five miles in and get home in time for the photo shoot.

---

Something ticked Powder off during Vi’s workout routine, but she wouldn’t admit what it was until they were done and leaving the locker room. 

“Some girl was staring at you.” Powder scowled as she peeled the wrapper off a lollipop. 

Vi arched a brow. “Was she hot?” 

Powder chomped down on her candy. The resounding crack meant yes, and I don’t like it. 

Vi glanced over her shoulder, trying to guess who it had been. Arcane Gym was busy, though, and there were plenty of pretty women around. It could’ve been any of them.

But if she allowed herself to hope… the young woman stepping off a treadmill in the first row was a showstopper, even from the back. Long dark hair in a ponytail. Legs for days. She had to be six feet tall, all willowy and elegant.

But elegance only begged to be mussed, in Vi’s opinion. She could just imagine those legs wrapped around her waist, her blunt fingers fisted in that hair… Vi’s pulse thrummed. 

“I’m hungry,” Powder snapped.

Vi turned back to her sister. Throw away the daydream. Someone like that isn’t for you anyway. “Okay, okay, let’s go get something to eat.” 

“And then the art store. You promised.”

“Yeah, I know. We’ll go there right after.”

They left the gym, and Vi didn’t look back. It was for the best. 

Chapter 2: save me, i’m lost; oh lord, i’ve been waiting for you

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Show Me What I’m Looking For” by Carolina Liar.

Inside the art supply store, Vi swept her fingers along the spray paints on display while Powder picked out whatever she wanted. Vi read the labels and willed the words to mean something to her. Cyan Blue—a light gray. Marigold Yellow—medium gray. Racing Green—dark gray. 

Explain yourself to me.

Give me the full spectrum.

But they were words, nothing more. No matter how she stared at the cans, no matter how she pleaded with the universe to give her what she needed to be complete, to be safe. No colors. Just shades of black and white. 

“Okay, I’ve got everything I need.” Powder held up her shopping basket, which now held a pile of paint canisters that shifted and clinked together.

Vi suppressed a wince. She would have to finagle this month’s budget to fit in the extra art supplies, but her sister was worth it. “Let’s go, then.”

As Powder set her items on the checkout counter, she shot Vi a smile. “Thanks for this.”

Vi mustered up a smile in return. “I got you.” Powder didn’t know how tight money was, and Vi wanted to keep it that way. Powder had lost enough of her childhood already with the deaths of their biological parents, then their adoptive family as well. Not to mention the resulting mental health issues. Let her have art without worrying about how much it cost. 

They left the art supply store and headed home in Vi’s rusty truck, with Powder at the wheel. Now that she had her driver’s permit, the passenger’s seat felt like an insult, apparently. When they got back to the apartment, Powder disappeared into her room with her new spray paints, and Vi jumped into the shower.

She scrubbed herself clean in a matter of minutes. Usually she ended the shower there, but today she let the water keep running, pounding the aches out of her back. The aches left over not from the workout, but from the store. It bugged her still, the shades of gray with their labels that taunted her, insisted they meant something special she wasn’t allowed to have. 

Fuck the stupid art store.

Fuck the stupid paints.

Fuck the stupid budget.

Fuck everything, these days.

But most of all, fuck her stupid grayscale vision. 

All she wanted in life was to take care of her sister. That had always been her priority. But if she couldn’t see right, she was weak. She was vulnerable. They both were. 

Gritting her teeth, Vi pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. Hot, frustrated tears leaked out despite her best efforts. She choked out a single sob before she caught herself. 

No admitting weakness. That was the first rule of survival.

So she raised her chin and turned off the shower. By the time she exited the bathroom, she’d composed herself entirely.

No one was allowed to see Vi cry. Not even Powder. Especially not Powder. Vi had to be the strong one. Never falter, never fracture, never fall.

But if the pressure kept building… how much longer could she hold out?

---

“What did it feel like?” Caitlyn looked at her lifelong best friend, Jayce Talis, over her latte the next morning. “When you made eye contact with Viktor?” The coffee shop bustled around them in the peak of rush hour, the noise providing a modicum of privacy. 

Jayce raised his eyebrows and set his coffee on the table. “You really want to hear this story again?”

Caitlyn scowled. “It’s a simple question.” 

“All right, all right.” He leaned back in his seat. “I mean, it was amazing. We were in the university lab together for the first time. The professor announced we were going to be partners for the semester. The second our eyes met, all these colors came out of nowhere, and it was like everything fell into place.” A crooked smile pulled at his lips as he remembered that moment, years ago now. “I tripped over my own feet, like an idiot. But I knew in an instant, he was the one for me.”

Caitlyn sipped from her drink and tried to imagine what that would feel like. Locking eyes with someone and having the world feel right. She’d never felt right. Not in her parents’ house, not at the police academy, not at any of the high-society galas she’d attended. Certainly not with any of the girls she’d sneaked into her room over the years. She’d always felt different, felt separate. 

Little misfit Caitlyn.

And with life moving around her in mere shades of gray, it was all one big reminder that she didn’t fit anywhere, with anyone. 

“Earth to Kiramman.” Jayce waved a hand in front of her face.

She started.

“You zoned out on me there.”

“Sorry. Just… thinking.” Feeling sorry for herself, more like. No one feels bad for you, she told herself, and shook off the sulky attitude. She’d been given so much in life. She had no room to pout just because she wanted what she couldn’t have.

The two of them chatted for an hour before Jayce had to head off to a city council meeting. Caitlyn was off work today, so she went to Arcane Gym for an early run. As usual, she changed in the locker room. As usual, she went to her favorite treadmill.

Not as usual, she looked over at the workout class section— and she recognized the woman teaching boxing there.

With her back to Caitlyn, it was obvious. The buff woman from the free weights area yesterday. Did she work here? 

Caitlyn had half a mind to get off the machine and go crash the boxing class. But no, she was pretty sure gym members had to sign up for that ahead of time, and she didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with the instructor by barging in. So she watched from afar.

The woman worked hard, spending time with each of her students. Teaching them how to punch, how to take a hit. Then she lit up a punching bag with an impressive flurry of blows, and it took Caitlyn’s breath away. The woman moved like a dancer, every maneuver flowing into the next. Her muscles, her fluidity, her mastery of the art… it was all gorgeous. A flame lit in Caitlyn’s abdomen even as she ran.

Caitlyn was on mile four when the instructor dismissed her class. The students filed out of the workout class area and dispersed. A tiny part of Caitlyn hoped the instructor would come over to the free weights section again. Would strike up a conversation, maybe. But the other woman cleaned up, then headed to the locker room without so much as glancing Caitlyn’s way. A few minutes later, there she went, striding out the gym door. 

Going, going, gone.

For the second day in a row, Caitlyn pushed down an unreasonable ache of disappointment.

It was some random woman at the gym. What did it matter if she hadn’t noticed Caitlyn?

Caitlyn finished up her run, telling herself over and over that it didn’t matter. It didn’t.

Somehow, it mattered. 

Chapter 3: oh poor atlas, the world's a beast of a burden

Notes:

Chapter title is from “What the Water Gave Me” by Florence and the Machine.

Trigger warning: This chapter contains a depiction of a PTSD episode. If this will trigger you, please skip the scene or the chapter entirely. In this story, Powder/Jinx has both bipolar disorder (which I have) and PTSD (which I do not have). I do my best to represent all mental health issues carefully and thoughtfully.

On top of her weekly boxing lessons, Vi was also in charge of the gym’s social media presence at all hours. So when the gym’s profile received messages online, she was the one who received them and responded, even if it was under the name Arcane Gym.

A live chat message popped up on her way out the door after her boxing class.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: What are the dates and times of the boxing classes?

 

Kiramman? As in the congresswoman? Not that Vi could pick any of the family members out of a lineup, but she recognized the last name, at least. Damn, the gym had nicer clientele than Vi had realized. 

But also, what the fuck? The family was rich as balls, and their kid wanted to learn how to punch in a public gym. Didn’t people like the Kirammans hire personal trainers for that sort of thing?

Whatever. Vi wasn’t paid to figure out why rich people did what they did. She was paid to answer questions. So she responded to the message on her walk to the truck.

 

Arcane Gym: Boxing classes are Sunday mornings from 10 to 11am. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Do you have to sign up ahead of time?

 

Arcane Gym: We do ask attendees to register on our website so we know how many people to expect.

 

Vi even sent a link to the class registration page, because being extra helpful made her irreplaceable. She expected the conversation to drop off after that; most people didn’t waste digital breath on customer support. But moments later, a bonus message came through.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Thank you!

 

Vi screwed up her mouth in surprise as she slid into the driver’s seat. Politeness from a rich kid. How unexpected.

She sped home and strode inside, expecting to hear Powder call out a greeting. But the apartment was silent. Except for something. A quiet tick… tick… tick… 

Vi’s stomach dropped. “Powder?”

Tick tick tick tick tick…

“Pow? Answer me!”

Bzzzzzt—

Something crashed from Powder’s room. Smash, smash, smash against the hardwood.

Vi sprinted through the kitchen and shouldered through Powder’s door. Her baby sister was curled up, rocking on the floor, the remnants of an analog alarm clock scattered around her. Her fingers were wrapped around her braids, pulling hard. Vi dropped to her knees. “Powder. Pow, look at me. What happened?”

Powder opened her eyes, but she couldn’t seem to focus on Vi. Sweat dampened the hair at her temples. A high-pitched noise keened from her throat. She pulled so hard on her braids that her hair strained at her scalp.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. What had the last therapist said to do during an episode? “Powder, you’re okay. It’s just a memory. You’re here. You’re safe. Can you breathe for me?” Vi took long, slow breaths to guide her.

Though it took several painful minutes, Powder managed to match her breathing to Vi’s. She continued to yank on her hair, but Vi didn’t want to scare her by touching her to peel her fingers open. 

“Can you look around? What do you see?”

Wheezing, Powder skittered her gaze around the room. “I—I can’t—”

“You can.” Vi kept her tone even and calm. “One thing. What’s one thing you see?”

Powder’s wide eyes fixated on her closet door, which was spray-painted with monkey heads in different shades of, well, something. Gray, to Vi. “My… closet.”

“Good. What’s something else?”

Powder struggled to come up with another answer. “The dresser?”

“Very good. You’re in your room. You’re safe.” Even and calm. No touching. She kept talking Powder down until she was managing complete sentences.

“I didn’t mean to do it,” she panted. “The sound, and then the timer went off, and I—”

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here. We’ll clean up the mess and everything will be okay.” Vi didn’t know where Powder had gotten the alarm clock—Vi was always careful to avoid ticking things and harsh alarms in the apartment—but they could deal with that later. “Can you stop pulling your hair for me?”

Stiffly Powder released her death grip on her braids.

It took another hour to get Powder fully back in her own head. Vi sat with her sister until she stopped trembling. Together they swept up the broken bits and pieces and dumped them into the trash can.

“Sorry,” Powder whispered, not for the first time.

Vi shook her head. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.” Her sister held a lot of pain inside, and every day Vi regretted that there wasn’t more she could do, that she couldn’t fix it for her. “Want some tea?”

Powder nodded.

Vi made two mugs of chamomile tea and pressed one into her sister’s hands. “Here you go. Careful, it’s hot.”

“Thanks.” Powder blew the steam away before taking a sip.

This wasn’t the first day Vi had helped Powder through an episode. It wouldn’t be the last. All Vi could do was take care of her sister to the best of her abilities, but it never felt like enough. The pressure kept building. Tick tick tick, just like the fucking alarm clock. Who knew what would happen if the buzzer went off and there was no one to catch her?

Chapter 4: good on paper, picture perfect

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Let Me Go” by Hailee Steinfeld and Alesso.

Thunder rolled overhead as Caitlyn waved a car out of the parking garage, holding up her other hand for the next vehicle to wait their turn. God, she was tired of traffic duty. She was trained as a detective, for fuck’s sake. But no, her last name made sure she didn’t get any important work. Nothing that could put her in harm’s way. Nothing that meant anything. 

Someone blared their horn. 

A drop of cold rain landed right in Caitlyn’s eye. 

Irritation simmered inside her. 

Today cannot be over quickly enough. 

As rain came down faster and faster, Caitlyn waved the impatient SUV driver into the parking garage. No umbrellas allowed, so she could only grit her teeth against the icy water soaking through her uniform. Nothing to be done about it. 

After her shift finally ended, she considered going home and holing up in her room, but no. She had made plans—rifle practice and a gym trip. So she changed out of her uniform and drove to the firing range for some target practice. The familiar feel of her rifle against her shoulder calmed her, allowed her a moment of control over her life. The mess of the world faded away, and her focus narrowed down to two things: aim, fire. 

She prided herself on being both precise and accurate, and today was no exception. One after another, her bullet holes clustered at the center of her target. Perfect, the way she had to be. 

Perfect Caitlyn Kiramman. 

Daughter of a congresswoman and a government engineer. 

Heiress to the family fortune. 

Piltover University valedictorian. 

Top of her class at the police academy.

Aim, fire. Right through the center. 

She’d nailed all of it, but the expectations weighed heavier every day. How was she supposed to keep walking with a thousand pounds balanced on her shoulders? One day she would crumple, and she worried that no one would care outside of how it looked for the family. 

Her throat burned, but she swallowed the emotions. No one cares. 

Aim, fire.

---

Vi was scrubbing dishes when her phone dinged with an incoming live chat message. She tossed the washrag into the water, dried one hand on her jacket, and tapped into the gym’s profile. The corner of her lips crooked upward when she recognized the name of the person asking for help. Hey, it’s the nice one.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: I’m having trouble getting the gym’s app to open. Was there an update? 

 

Arcane Gym: Give me a second and I’ll check with IT. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: No problem. Take your time. 

 

Somehow not being rushed made Vi want to be faster than ever. She sent their tech guy a quick text and got the answer she needed, along with a potential solution. 

 

Arcane Gym: Okay, we did run an update last night. Have you tried reinstalling the app?

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Doing it now.

 

Arcane Gym: Let me know if that works.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: It did. I appreciate your help. Are you having a good day? 

 

What the hell? Vi’s eyebrows skyrocketed. No one ever asked about her. In fact, she was pretty sure most people hadn’t even considered it. Customer service sucked… except for the rare good ones. Like Caitlyn.

Oh, right, Vi needed to answer the question.

 

Arcane Gym: Not too bad. You? 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: It’s been good, thanks. 

 

Arcane Gym: Anything else I can help you with?  

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: That was it. You’ve been awesome. Thanks again! 

 

In that moment, Vi wanted to give Caitlyn her name. She was sweet. She’d want to know who she was speaking with, right? But then the chat window went dark. Caitlyn had logged off. Never mind, then.

Vi set her phone aside and went back to washing the dishes. The nicks and scrapes on her hands stung in the soapy water, but she couldn’t feel upset about it. It was nice to feel appreciated, even if it was by a faceless stranger on the Internet. 

You’ve been awesome.

Powder strolled into the kitchen, chomping on bubble gum. “Whatcha smiling about?”

Vi dropped the smile. “Nothing.” 

“I came in to offer to dry, but if you like dishes so much…”

“That’s not it.” Vi tossed her the towel. “A gym customer was nice. That’s all.”

Brow furrowing with suspicion, Powder picked up a serving platter and shook off the excess water droplets before wiping it down. “Hmph.”

Vi tugged lightly on one braid. “Hey, chill. It doesn’t mean anything.”

That felt like a lie. It meant something to her. She wasn’t sure what, exactly, but something. And she kinda hoped Caitlyn would need more help again soon. 

---

Caitlyn ached. A long run on the treadmill, plus a new personal best in weight lifting… oof. But it was a good ache, the kind that reminded her she’d worked hard. She tightened her ponytail and headed to the locker room.

That teenage girl with two long braids was back, leaning against a changing stall, chatting with someone Caitlyn couldn’t see. The conversation was clear even through the music playing in Caitlyn’s earbuds. “—and I was trying to explain to her that my firelights aren’t—” She caught Caitlyn looking and glared. “What?”

Caitlyn bit her tongue and continued on her way to her locker around the corner. She could no longer see them, but she could still hear everything. Especially after she took out her earbuds to listen in.

“That they aren’t what?” asked the woman in the changing stall. The stall door creaked open. 

“They aren’t working but I can’t figure out why. It’s really pissing me off. I’m this close to throwing them all out.”

Her conversational partner chuckled. A low, smooth sound that made Caitlyn stand up a little straighter. 

“Why’s that funny?” the teenager demanded as she trailed after the other woman into the main area of the locker room. “Maybe I will!”

“Riiiiight. I’d love to see that.”

Caitlyn peeked over her shoulder to see the source of that sexy voice, and it was— the boxing instructor? Just her luck. But yeah, it was definitely her. Short, ripped, gorgeous. Those rough-hewn muscles, illustrated with tattoos, were memorable as fuck. And that layered hair looked silky enough to run her fingers through. Mmmm.

Deep in conversation, the woman and the teenager left the locker room together. Caitlyn tossed her purse over her shoulder, came around to use the now-vacant stall, and found a cell phone on the bench. 

“Oh, shit,” she muttered. She picked it up and checked the lock screen. A photo of the boxing instructor hugging the long-braided teenager. Okay, no question who it belongs to. 

Phone in hand, Caitlyn hurried out of the locker room and looked around, trying to pinpoint where they’d gone. Free weights, maybe? Or the workout class section? No, she caught a flash of double French braids by the stair steppers. She followed, not knowing what names to call out to get them to stop. “Um, excuse me? You two?” She strode past several people giving her weird looks. Come on. Cut me some slack. I’m trying to do the right thing here. It’s not because she’s hot. “Excuse me!”

Finally they stopped at the leg press, though they still both had their backs to her. Caitlyn trotted up, wielding the phone as if it might make her look less stalkery. “Hey, you two, I was trying to—you left your phone.”

The teenager scowled at her and snatched the phone away. “Yeah, okay, thanks. Bye.”

The boxing instructor turned belatedly. “Oh, wow, I can’t believe I—”

Her eyes met Caitlyn’s.

Colors spiraled out into the world around Caitlyn, and she stumbled backward. All the shades of gray exploded with vivid colors she’d never seen before, only heard of. So many hues, so many shades. The teenager’s braids, bright blue. The workout machines, deep purple. The grass outside the windows, a brilliant green. A scarlet workout tank, an orange water bottle.

Best of all, the instructor’s hair was pink, a glorious warm playful pink, and oh God, it was everything Caitlyn had dreamed. 

Colors. Colors everywhere. Just like Jayce had said. Her lips parted, but she had no idea what to say. What could express this glory?

Wait a second. Caitlyn pressed the heel of her hand to her temple, willing herself to see straight. To think. If she was seeing in color...

This means… this means… 

Slowly she looked back to the pink-haired woman. Her soulmate. 

“Fuck,” said the boxing instructor faintly.

Chapter 5: i'm chasing all of the colors in my head

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Chasing Colors” by Marshmello and Ookay.

As Powder complained about her latest prototypes, Vi went to pull her cell phone out of her back pocket… but it wasn’t there. Eyes widening, she patted herself down. Where was it? Shit, had she left it in the locker room? What if it was stolen? She couldn’t afford a new phone. 

Someone came up behind her and Powder. An unexpected British accent: “Hey, you two, I was trying to—you left your phone.”

Oh, thank God. 

Powder took the phone, and Vi turned to thank the tall stranger. “Wow, I can’t believe I—”

She met the phone savior’s eyes with a jolt. 

Her light blue eyes. 

Indigo hair pulled back in a ponytail. 

Smooth, fair skin flushed pink. 

 A hint of cleavage, killer legs, and an adorable gap between her front teeth. All of it in full, blinding color. 

She’d never seen anyone so gorgeous. 

“Fuck,” Vi whispered. 

Of all the ways she had envisioned gaining the full spectrum… she’d never expected it to be with someone so hot. Someone she might actually want to keep around. 

But she couldn’t keep her. Obviously not. She had too much going on to add a soulmate to the mix. 

The stranger straightened and held out one slim hand. “Well. Nice to meet you. I’m Caitlyn.”

Vi blankly stared at Caitlyn’s fingers. Short nails. Nice. Not that Vi was planning to avail herself of those hands anytime soon. Get it together. “I… I’m Vi.” She shook hands; her grip was a little too firm, but Caitlyn didn’t react. A strong woman. Double nice. 

Powder looked between them, her dark blue eyes widening as she realized what had happened. “The hell?”

Caitlyn misunderstood. “Sorry, it's nice to meet you too...” She trailed off, waiting for Powder to supply her name. 

Powder didn’t, so Vi had to step in. “Oh, uh, this is my sister, Powder.”

Powder arched an eyebrow. “We were about to work out, so…” She pointedly looked toward the leg press. 

“Pow!” Vi shot her a look. 

Caitlyn held up her hands. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Just, the phone, and then, well…”

And then, well, indeed. 

 Caitlyn hesitated, then: “Could I get your number?”

Powder simmered. 

Vi ignored her. “Sure.”

Caitlyn pulled out her own phone. “Could you put in yours, and I’ll put in mine?”

Vi nodded, and they switched phones. Vi Vanderson (Soulmate), she typed in—then deleted the last bit. Soulmate was such a heavy word. Caitlyn could add whatever clarifier she wanted. For all Vi knew, her contact info was about to be changed to Vi Vanderson (Random Gym Girl).

Caitlyn handed her her phone back, and Vi peeked at the contact, curious if she’d added any clarifiers for herself. She hadn’t. But what caught Vi’s eye was the last name. 

Kiramman. 

No way. 

This was Caitlyn Kiramman? The sweet girl from the gym live chat was her super-hot soulmate? Shit. Powder was gonna be piiiiiissed. 

“Is there a problem?” Caitlyn asked with that proper British accent.

Vi thrust her phone into her pocket. “No! Everything’s fine. Sorry. Here you go.” She passed Caitlyn her phone. “I recognized your name, is all.”

Caitlyn pressed her lips together as if she got that all the time. “Yes, we’re those Kirammans.”

“Uh, no, not that.” Was Vi about to come across super weird? “I work here. At Arcane Gym. I’ve helped you on the live chat a couple times this week.”

“Oh!” Caitlyn’s eyebrows shot up. “I… yes, that was me. That was you?”

Vi winked. “Sure was.”

“Oh,” Caitlyn repeated, and Vi couldn’t tell what she meant by it. Good? Bad? Indifferent? 

“I thought we were going to work out,” Powder complained. 

Flushing, Caitlyn stepped back. “Right. Sorry, I’ll let you get back to business. Now that you have your phone.”

And a soulmate. 

Vi had a soulmate now. 

Baffling. 

Caitlyn backed away with a stiff wave, then turned and disappeared into the women’s locker room. 

Scowling, Vi rounded on Powder. 

“What?” her little sister said defensively. “I thought you wanted to exercise. Isn’t that the entire point of coming to the gym?”

“I just met my…” The word stuck on Vi’s tongue. “My you know what. Maybe I would’ve liked to talk to her for longer than thirty seconds before you chased her off.”

Powder shrugged but said nothing else. Sulking. Great. 

With a sigh Vi clambered into the seat of the leg press. She managed to complete her rounds on the strength training equipment, but her mind buzzed with other thoughts the whole time. 

Caitlyn Kiramman, what am I going to do about you?  

---

Silently Caitlyn picked at her dinner. Her parents, Cassandra and Tobias, were talking about work; neither seemed to have noticed a difference in her. But she ought to tell them, right? Ought to tell them she’d met the person who was supposedly her perfect match?

Except that person was a tattooed, pierced boxer with scars and a pink undercut. Not exactly the elder Kirammans’ ideal partner for their only daughter. But then again, how could they dispute the soulmate connection? 

She set her fork aside and cleared her throat. “I have something to say.”

Cassandra and Tobias went quiet. 

Caitlyn went with the direct approach. “I met my soulmate today. I can see colors now.”

A sharp intake of breath from her father. “That’s wonderful, dear.” 

But Cassandra’s tone was even, measured. Careful. “Who is it? Anyone we know?” 

Caitlyn swallowed. “I don’t think so. Her name is Vi.”

“Vi?” Her mother said the syllable like it tasted bad. “Just two letters, V-I? Is that short for something?”

“She didn’t say.” Should Caitlyn have asked? Was she a bad soulmate for not asking? 

Tobias offered an easier question: “Where did you meet her?” 

“At the gym. She was there with her sister.” Caitlyn left out the detail about how she’d been eyeballing this woman for over a week. “She left her phone in the locker room. I returned it to her.”

“Do you have a picture of her? Did you invite her over to meet us?”

Yep. Caitlyn was definitely a bad soulmate. “Erm, no, no picture. And not yet. We just exchanged numbers.”

Cassandra and Tobias exchanged a meaningful look. 

Caitlyn frowned. “What’s that for?”

“Kids these days,” her father sighed. “Relationships are so different now. Back in our day, you met your soulmate, you planned your wedding. None of this extra nonsense.”

What extra nonsense? Talking? Getting to know each other? “I’ll let you know when we’re at the merging-the-families stage, all right?” It came out a little sharper than she meant it.

Her parents hmphed.

Caitlyn started eating her food, just to get out of talking any further about Vi. But even as her parents returned to talking shop, her mind whirred with thoughts of a soulmate who, by all appearances, didn’t fit into her world at all.

Vi Vanderson, what am I going to do about you?

Chapter 6: i just can’t get no relief, lord

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Somebody to Love” by Queen.

Happy new year!

Back home on the couch, Vi stared at the phone in her hand. The screen: open to a blank text draft to Caitlyn. Her brain: empty. Powder was working on the firelights in her room, and Vi had wanted to use the alone time to get to know her new soulmate, but God help her, she couldn’t figure out what to say.

Her phone chirped with an incoming text, and she almost dropped it.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk long today. I’d like to get to know you better, if that’s okay.

 

Vi Vanderson: Yeah, for sure.

 

No, that was too short. She sent a follow-up text so she wouldn’t sound brusque.

 

Vi Vanderson: Do you wanna text or call?

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Actually, a call would be lovely.

 

Vi Vanderson: That’s fine. Give me just a sec.

 

Vi popped in one earbud and pressed the Call button. As the line rang, her pulse sped up. Every heartbeat reminded her who she was calling. Soulmate, soulmate, soulmate. She still couldn’t bring herself to say the word aloud, but it bounced around her head so much she couldn’t settle down.

“Evening,” Caitlyn said, her voice slightly distorted by technology.

“Hi. How’s your—your day going?” What a dumb question. Vi’s brain: still empty.

“Well, I can see in color now, which is brilliant. So overall, good, I’d say.”

Vi crooked a grin. “Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I can finally appreciate Powder’s art. See everything she sees.” 

“Oh, your sister’s an artist? What does she do?”

“She paints. Spray paint especially. Maybe sometime I can get her to show you some of her work.” Unlikely, given how unwelcoming Pow had been at the gym, but maybe someday.

“Do you paint as well?”

Vi grimaced. “Nope. Not the creative type myself. More the… punch it until it gets out of my way type.”

Caitlyn laughed lightly. A gentle, kind sound. “Right, the boxing. How long have you been doing that?”

“Since I was a kid. I got in so many fights, my adoptive dad figured he’d teach me how to do it right. He was a boxer too.”

“Was?”

A longtime sadness settled over Vi. “He passed away. Years ago now.”

“I’m so sorry.” Caitlyn went quiet. “Were you close?”

“Very.” But Vi didn’t want to list out her dead relatives yet. Better to pace herself. “What about you? What does your family look like?”

“I’m an only child. It’s just me and my mum and dad. They want to meet you, by the way.”

“Oh.” Oh, no. Meeting the parents. Meeting her soulmate’s family. The last two times Vi had been part of a family… The living room spun, and she had to steady herself against the back of the couch. “I… I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

“That’s fine. Just know that they’re open to it, whenever you do feel ready.” No pressure in Caitlyn’s voice.

Vi still buzzed with nervousness. She tugged at her earring. “So tell me more about you.” 

Powder stuck her head into the living room. “Who are you talking to? You never call anyone.”

“Is that Powder I hear?” Caitlyn asked. “Tell her I said hello.”

Vi swallowed. “It’s Caitlyn,” she told Powder, “from the gym?”

Soulmate, soulmate, soulmate.

Powder wrinkled her nose. “Oh.”

“She says hi,” Vi offered.

Powder pursed her lips and pointedly didn’t say hi back. “Should we just move her in, if you’re gonna be spending all your free time on her?”

“I can let you go if your sister needs you,” Caitlyn said.

“No, that’s not it.” Vi wasn’t sure who she was responding to. Both? “Pow, do you need something?”

With a scoff Powder waved her off. “Don’t mind me. Just your one and only sister.”

“Pow!”

She disappeared back into her bedroom.

“Fuck,” Vi muttered. She couldn’t maintain a phone conversation when her sister was mad at her in the next room. “Listen, Caitlyn, I have to go. Would you maybe want to talk again tomorrow? Over coffee?” 

“Absolutely.” The single word held no judgment, but guilt gripped Vi by the throat even as they made plans to meet at the local café. She couldn’t manage a two-minute conversation in the gym; she couldn’t manage a ten-minute phone call at home. What the hell kinda soulmate was she?

But at the moment, she had to be a sister.

She said goodbye, hung up, and pushed herself to her feet. “Powder. I’m off the phone. What’s up?”

Powder was curled up on the bed, scowling. “Nothing.”

“Come on.”

She huffed. “I was going to show you my new design for the firelights, since you can see colors now, but I guess my work doesn’t matter to you now that you have your stupid soulmate.” Her voice sounded tight with frustration.

“That’s not it at all.” Vi sat on the mattress beside her. “You’re the most important person in my life. No competition. If anyone tries to make me choose, I choose you, okay?”

Powder scooted upright. “Really?”

“Really.” Vi extended her pinkie finger. “It’s you and me, okay? Caitlyn’s not getting in the way of that.”

Powder looked suspicious, but she hooked her pinkie around Vi’s. “Okay. If you promise.”

“Pinkie promise.” Vi tugged lovingly on one blue braid with her other hand. “Now show me the new firelights design.”

Chapter 7: baby, you’re like lightning in a bottle

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Electric Love” by BØRNS.

The wind whipped Caitlyn’s hair as she made her way up the sidewalk to League Café, where she was to meet Vi. The official meet-up time was in fifteen minutes, but she was running early. She’d feel better if she had a chance to look around the coffee shop, get the lay of the land before the actual date. If this was a date. She was pretty sure it was. But Vi had been in a hurry to get off the phone, and they hadn’t texted much between then and now, and no one had ever officially said what this was. 

So until she had confirmation otherwise, it was just a meet-up. A get-together. A hangout between two new… friends. 

Except friends didn’t exactly encompass “I think you’re hot; it turns out we’re soulmates; we barely know each other but want to learn more; also your sister hates me.”

Friends-ish. Friends-adjacent.

Caitlyn pushed the café door open, and a few patrons shot her dirty looks for letting the wind in. She closed the door immediately, raising one hand in apology. 

Quick look around: bathrooms to the left, an emergency exit in the back, tables along the walls, several wide windows. The décor was Pinterest-perfect, all succulents and strings of fairy lights. A cute place overall.

Her stomach growled, but she didn’t approach the counter to order yet. Instead she picked out a table for the two of them, sat in the chair facing the entrance, and pulled out a novel to read while she waited. Her gaze flicked to the door at the end of each page, just in case Vi arrived early too.

Vi arrived late.

She burst in like the sunrise, flushed and panting as if she’d run all the way there. Her layered pink hair (pink!) was wind-ruffled as she looked around; she’d pushed her hoodie sleeves up to the elbows, revealing muscular forearms. Hot damn. Caitlyn let out a quiet breath, slipped her bookmark in between the pages, and tentatively raised one hand to catch Vi’s attention. 

Vi strode over and collapsed into the chair opposite her with a heavy exhale. “Sorry I’m late. This morning has been wild.”

Caitlyn held up her book with a half smile. “You’re fine. I kept myself entertained.”

Vi examined the cover. “Looks good. Is it?”

“So far, yes. It’s a lesbian fake-dating romance.” Caitlyn waited for the jokes about how the romance genre was trash, but they didn’t come. 

Instead Vi grinned. “I don’t read a lot anymore, but in my fanfic days, I could never pass up a good fake-dating story.”

Hold on a second. Caitlyn raised her eyebrows. “You used to read fanfic?”

Vi winked. “Oh, yeah. Back in high school and college, I read more fanfiction than published books.”

“Did you ever write any?” Caitlyn had penned a few stories herself over the years, not that she kept up with it anymore.

“Nah. Like I told you yesterday, not the creative type. But I read a shit ton. It was a good escape.”

Caitlyn studied her. What had Vi wanted to escape from? Her adoptive father passing? Or something else? But she couldn’t bring herself to ask such an invasive question so soon into their maybe-a-date. “Anyway, want to go order? I’m pretty hungry, to be honest.”

“Yeah, me too.” Vi shoved her chair back and stood. “Let’s see what they have.”

Caitlyn looked over the blackboard coffee menu and the pastry selection, biting her lower lip. “Could I please have a medium vanilla latte?” she asked the guy behind the counter. “And one of those massive blueberry scones? And whatever she wants.” She indicated Vi.

Vi’s eyes widened. “Hey, no, I should be paying. I’m the one who suggested we come here.”

“You can pay next time.” Too late, Caitlyn realized she’d assumed today would go well enough Vi would even want to get together again. “Erm, I mean—”

“Well, Miss Confident.” Vi quirked a smile. “All right, then. A bacon and egg sandwich and a medium black iced coffee for me, please. Thanks, Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn paid, and they picked up their orders at the other end of the counter. They sat down with their respective breakfasts and munched for a few minutes without talking. 

Finally Caitlyn dabbed at her lips with a napkin. “Look, I’ll put it out there—I’m not sure what the soulmate etiquette is.”

Vi looked up from her sandwich, wide-eyed. “Etiquette?” she garbled through a mouthful of food.

Caitlyn struggled not to make a face. “I don’t know what the proper steps are,” she clarified. “What we should do, in what order. If we need to do anything at all. Just… how to handle the soulmateship.”

Considering this, Vi took another bite. “I guess I gotta get used to saying it. It feels weird. Not in a bad way,” she rushed to add. “I’ve just never had a—a soulmate before. Obviously. And honestly I never really believed I’d get one. So I never thought about whether there was etiquette for it.” She said the word like it tasted bad.

What a difference from the way Caitlyn had been raised. “My parents always talked about it like it was an eventuality. Like ‘oh, when you find your soulmate’ or ‘your future soulmate can do this with you’—it was just expected that one day I’d find someone.” She hesitated. “That I’d find you.”

Vi raised an eyebrow. “You’re gonna sit here and tell me that I’m what you expected? What your fancy-ass family expected? Bullshit.”

“No, you’re not what I expected.” Caitlyn wasn’t about to start things off on a lie, no matter how well intentioned. “But I think you’re interesting, and—” 

“Interesting? I’m not sure how to take that.”

“I didn’t mean it as a slight. Truly, you interest me. I want to learn more about you.” And do more than learn, hopefully. Caitlyn’s cheeks warmed.

“Uh-huh.”

“Anyway, all that to say, I don’t know the proper way to go about the soulmateship.”

Vi shrugged. “I don’t know if there even is a ‘proper way.’ Just do whatever feels right.”

 A lot of things felt right. That didn’t mean she was going to do it. Caitlyn wasn’t about to fall prey to her own desires. “So tell me more about you.”

They chatted in the café for two hours, swapping stories about their jobs and their families and little nothings like the shows they’d watched recently. Vi cackled at some of the idiotic things Caitlyn had seen on traffic duty, and her laughter was a reward in itself. 

Once the wind died down, they disposed of their trash and left the café. Side by side they strolled up the sidewalk. Caitlyn’s entire body sizzled every time their hands brushed, and she struggled not to react. No need to let Vi know her fingers itched to touch. Those lips looked so soft, and up close Vi had an adorable smattering of freckles across her nose and cheekbones, and Caitlyn just wanted to kiss the ever-living fuck out of—

“So what do you think?” Vi bumped her shoulder lightly into Caitlyn. 

Caitlyn stumbled. “About what?” Shit, were my thoughts written all over my face?  

“About us being soulmates.” Vi gave her a lingering once-over, and a flame lit in Caitlyn’s stomach. “Think we have potential?”

God, I hope so. Caitlyn smothered the embers of desire and tried to come up with a chill answer. “Well, I've had a good time. Have you?”

Vi held eye contact a moment too long to be casual. Her voice went low. Almost suggestive. “I have.” 

Caitlyn summoned up all her courage. “Would you want to get together again? As a date?”

Vi’s lips curved. “I thought this was a date.”

“Oh.” But that meant… That meant Vi had asked her out. That meant Vi wanted her too, at least to some extent. Caitlyn swallowed. “Oh.”  

“Yeah, oh.” And in a flash Vi cornered her against the side of a brick building, in the shadows where no one could see them, one strong arm boxing Caitlyn in. She smelled like sandalwood, earthy and rich. The wind ruffled her layered hair, and she lifted her chin. Despite Caitlyn being taller, Vi was in charge of this moment.

Caitlyn’s breath caught. Her heartbeat hammered with how very close Vi was now. Close enough to share a breath. Close enough to kiss. 

“Let’s be real. You’re hot.” Vi said it matter-of-factly, like it should’ve been obvious. 

Caitlyn flushed anyway. So are you, she wanted to say, but the words stuck in her throat. 

Vi eyed her blush and mischief sparked in her expression. Her voice dropped low, sexy. “I’ve been thinking about you. About how you might feel, how you might taste.” She skated her hands over Caitlyn’s curves, hovering over her, an inch away from actually touching. She leaned in, brushed her mouth against Caitlyn’s neck. A flick of tongue. A sultry taste. “God, as sweet as you are, I bet you taste delicious.” 

Her lips parting, Caitlyn shivered. A pulse throbbed between her thighs, and she wanted to part them, to invite Vi between them. She’d never felt so exposed. Never liked it so much.

Teeth scraped against sensitive skin. “I could just eat you up.” 

Caitlyn’s breaths shortened to panting. Yes. Please. Now.

But Vi lifted her head and met Caitlyn’s hazy gaze, and she gave a troublemaking grin. “But I’m not going to. Not yet.”

“No?” The word sounded pitiful even to Caitlyn.

“No.” Vi brought her lips to Caitlyn’s ear. “I’m going to enjoy riling you up, though.”

Oh, fuck.

Caitlyn was in big trouble.

Chapter 8: feels like an earthquake every time you come around

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Pom Poms” by the Jonas Brothers.

In the moonlight, Caitlyn nudged Vi to sit on her expansive bed, then straddled her. She raked her fingers through Vi’s hair, making her soulmate sigh with pleasure. That glorious pink, as fun and playful as she’d always been promised. “I’ve been waiting for this for a while.” 

“You poor thing.” Vi drew her in for a kiss. Their lips sipped and teased and loved as hands wandered. Caitlyn explored Vi’s muscular shoulders, edging her fingers underneath her hoodie and tank top to knead at bare skin. Vi slipped her hands under the hem of Caitlyn’s shirt and stroked upward, leaving hot trails everywhere she touched. 

Caitlyn writhed in place when Vi cupped her breasts in her callused palms and massaged them. Her nipples hardened at the attention. Vi peeled her shirt up and off and sipped one bud into her warm mouth, then the other. 

Caitlyn moaned. It was bliss, yet not enough. Not where Caitlyn wanted Vi the most, at the pulse pounding between her legs. “I want you to touch me.”

“I am touching you.”

Caitlyn scowled. “My clit, you absolute—”

Then Vi dipped one hand into Caitlyn’s leggings, and Caitlyn clutched her close. One blunt finger found her clit, circled it with painstaking accuracy. Keening, Caitlyn couldn’t help but grind against the sparkling contact. 

None of her past hookups had ever felt this way. So good. So right. 

“You feel amazing,” Vi murmured as she stroked. “I’m so glad it was you.”

Desire curled inside Caitlyn with each caress. Vi whispered in her ear about how much she wanted her, how sexy she was, how well they fit together. Her finger moved faster, firmer, against Caitlyn’s throbbing clit. Caitlyn rode it out desperately.

And as she stretched toward the peak of her pleasure… 

Caitlyn awoke with a start. Blue-tinged sunlight shone through the windows in her bedroom. (Had it always been blue at this hour?) She had fallen asleep reading a criminal justice book for work, and now it was early morning. “Ugh.” 

Her body was still buzzing from the dream, which had been a little too close to home. It would’ve been easy to rub it out. They were soulmates, after all, and Vi had had no qualms getting sexual to tease her after their café date. Just the memory of her touch would’ve been enough. But they hadn’t actually done anything yet, and it felt weird to get herself off thinking about someone who hadn’t officially okayed masturbation fantasies. 

Again, some soulmate etiquette guidelines would’ve been helpful.

Caitlyn decided to err on the side of caution and just take a cold shower. Once she was fully cooled off, she pulled out her planner. Nothing on the docket for today but a shift at work. Before she headed out to her car, she shot off a quick good-morning text.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Good morning, Vi. Hope you and Powder have a great day!

 

She didn’t expect a response this early in the day, but her phone buzzed less than a minute later.

 

Vi Vanderson: Morning, gorgeous. Do you work today?

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Yes, so you may not hear from me.

 

Vi Vanderson: Noted. Would you want to come over for dinner afterward? I’m making fettuccine alfredo. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: I love pasta. Count me in. Thanks!  

 

Vi Vanderson: Just text me when you’re on your way. 

 

Dinner with Vi and Powder tonight. Caitlyn headed out the door with a pep in her step. She couldn’t wait to see her soulmate again and bond with the sister she’d never had. 

---

Scowling, Powder crossed her arms. “I can’t believe you invited her over without asking me first.”

Vi huffed. “She’s great. I want you to meet her.”

“I met her at the gym when you two had your magical moment. I’m good.”

Why was Powder making this so difficult? “I think you’d like her if you gave her a chance.”

Powder scoffed. “You keep telling yourself that.”

Vi was still in a bad mood when she dropped Powder off at school and her phone dinged with a gym live chat conversation. She pulled into a parking spot to check the notification. 

Part of her hoped it was Caitlyn, despite knowing that A) Caitlyn was working and B) she would likely just text Vi directly since she knew who ran the customer service line. But maybe it was Caitlyn. 

It wasn’t Caitlyn. 

 

Karen Smith: WHEN OPEN

 

Oh, dear lord. It was gonna be one of those. Vi took a deep breath and tapped out a calm, assuming-the-best response. 

 

Arcane Gym: We’re open regular hours today, 5am to 10pm. And here’s a link to our holiday calendar if you need it. 

 

Arcane Gym: [sent a link]  

 

Karen Smith: I WANT TO EXERCISE AT 4AM. CAN YOU OPEN EARLY

 

Vi stared at her phone in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?”

 

Arcane Gym: Unfortunately we can’t open at 4am.

 

Karen Smith: HOW EARLY CAN YOU OPEN 

 

Arcane Gym: We open at 5am.  

 

Karen Smith: WHY NOT 4 THEN  

 

Vi blew out a long breath to calm herself. Some days her job sucked. If this didn’t end with a “let me speak to your manager,” she’d eat her own shoe. 

 

Arcane Gym: We don’t have staff on site until 5am, when we open.

 

Karen Smith: I PREFER 4

 

Arcane Gym: Unfortunately our hours are 5am to 10pm every day except the holidays listed on the calendar I sent. 

 

Karen Smith: MANAGER

 

Aaaaaand there it was. Luckily the staff manager was good at handling problem customers and Vi never felt bad about passing someone off to him. Deuces, Karen.  

 

Arcane Gym: You can contact my manager here. 

 

Arcane Gym: [sent a link]  

 

The chat window went dark; Karen was gone. Thank God. Vi pulled out of the parking lot and headed home. 

It was a busy day on the live chat. Vi barely managed to eke out a lunch break. She almost didn’t notice the radio silence from Caitlyn… almost. She had to restrain herself from texting her to say hi, to see how her day was going, to maybe ruffle her feathers a little. But she didn’t do it. Bothering Caitlyn at work was not likely to earn Vi any brownie points. 

But good pasta might do the trick. 

After she picked Powder up from school, Vi set about making the alfredo sauce from scratch. Meanwhile, Powder worked on her homework at the kitchen table. It was not going well. 

“Sentence diagrams suck balls!” the teenager muttered. 

“I wish I could help, but I always sucked at English class.” Vi eyed the butter and heavy cream simmering on the stovetop. Two minutes, give or take, before she needed to whisk in her garlic and seasonings. 

“I’m never gonna use this in real life,” Powder complained. 

“Nope,” said Vi. She’d said the same thing when she’d been in high school, and she’d been right. “Not at all. But you still have to learn the shit. Sorry ’bout it.”

Powder wrinkled her nose. “I’ve heard better pep talks.”

“I never said it was a pep talk. I was agreeing with you.”

“I don’t know if I like that or not.”

Vi’s phone went off on the counter. A text, not live chat, whew. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Just got off work. I need to change clothes, and then I’ll be over. Can you send me your address? 

 

Smiling, Vi texted her the apartment address. She’s really coming.  

“Oh, no. What’s that dumbass grin for?” Powder asked suspiciously.

Vi wiped the smile away. “Caitlyn’s on her way.”

Powder made a face and went back to her sentence diagrams. 

Tonight was going to be a struggle if Powder kept this attitude up. But Vi could have bounced on her toes. Caitlyn was coming to see her. Caitlyn wanted to see her. Whether or not she would stick around long term, they at least had this dinner. 

Chapter 9: impolite would only be beneath us

Notes:

Chapter title is from “This Means War” by Marianas Trench.

Caitlyn knocked on the door for Apartment 516 and then smoothed the front of her purple dress with one hand. In the other, she held a box of her favorite brownies; they were store-bought, not homemade, but she hoped the thought would count. 

Right after she knocked, something crashed inside the apartment, someone yelped, and then footsteps pounded. Vi opened the door, panting. “Caitlyn! Welcome.”

Caitlyn hesitated. “Erm… is everything okay in there?” 

“Yeah! Yeah, everything’s good. Please, come in.” Vi stepped aside and held the door open for Caitlyn. She lit up when she noticed the brownies. “You brought dessert?”

“I hope that’s all right.”

“Absolutely. Here, I can take them.” Vi took the box from her and popped an entire brownie into her mouth on the way to the kitchen. “Delishush!” she garbled through the mouthful. 

Caitlyn followed slowly, taking in the apartment. A long canvas covered in abstract spray paint was the centerpiece of the living room, hung over the TV—all vivid neon colors, blue and green and yellow and pink and more, layered on top of each other. A multi-level cart full of art supplies was tucked in the corner. A few engineering achievement awards hung in frames along the walls. Vi had made sure her sister felt valued. 

But where was anything about Vi? 

“Caitlyn, you remember Powder.” Vi gestured to the kitchen table, where her sister was hunched over her homework. 

“I’m working,” Powder said instead of hello. 

“And I’m gonna need you to pack it up. Dinner’s almost ready.” Vi stirred the fettuccine noodles into the big pan of white-cream sauce. 

Brightening at the promise of food, Powder gathered up her textbooks and papers and dumped them into her backpack. 

Caitlyn felt like she ought to be doing something. “Can I help set the table?”

Vi waved this off. “Relax. You’re the guest.”

Powder pulled out three placemats from a drawer and shoved them into Caitlyn’s hands. “Here.” She spun on her heel and went to grab dishes. 

“Oh! Uh…” Caitlyn analyzed the small rectangular table. Should I ask where they usually sit? Or is this a test to see what I come up with? She placed one mat at the head of the table for Vi, with the other two on her left and her right. That seemed fair. 

Powder returned to set the plates, cups, and silverware at each place, and then she sat down at the head of the table. The middle seat. She looked at Caitlyn, daring her to argue. 

But Caitlyn smiled down at her. “I didn’t expect you to want to sit next to me. I’m flattered.”

Powder narrowed her eyes as she tried to dissect this as passive-aggressive or genuine. While she struggled, Caitlyn joined Vi at the stove. Vi was adding something unlabeled to the pasta. 

“What’s that?”

“My secret ingredient.”

“Really? What is it?”

Vi’s playful smile widened. “A secret.”

Laughing, Caitlyn swayed toward her soulmate without meaning to. “I’ll get it out of you sooner or later.”

“Never.” Vi stirred up the food and then stepped away with a flourish. “It’s done!” 

It was also a hot mess. The counters were covered in ingredients; the stovetop was flecked with sauce that had spattered during the cooking. But the fettuccine alfredo smelled delicious, so Caitlyn had to trust the process. The utterly chaotic, perfectly Vi process. 

Plate in hand, Powder wedged herself between the two of them. “If you’re done flirting over the pasta, I’d like to eat, thanks.”

Vi served Powder while Caitlyn retrieved her plate and Vi’s from the table. She came back to the stove and held out the first plate. Vi piled the alfredo so high it was impressive. “That one’s mine. These muscles need fuel,” she explained, and flexed one arm. 

The strong curves of her shoulders, her biceps… Warming all over, Caitlyn bit her lower lip at the casual display of sexiness. “I… see that.” She was in good shape herself, but Vi was jacked, and oof, it set things aflame that had no business being on fire in front of a younger sibling. 

“Oh my God,” Powder groaned. “It’s dinnertime.”

Vi released the flex and returned to business. “Sorry, Pow.” She served Caitlyn a normal-sized portion. “Is that good?”

“Perfect. Thanks.” With a small smile, Caitlyn returned to the table and sat on Powder’s right. Vi sat across from her, on her sister’s left. Caitlyn took a careful bite of the pasta, and flavors exploded on her tongue. Creamy, spicy, zesty. She couldn’t quite place what set it apart, but God, it was the best alfredo she’d ever had. “Thanks for cooking, Vi. It tastes amazing. Wow.”

Vi beamed. “Thanks. Glad you like it.”

Powder swirled her fork in her pasta. “We usually eat on the couch, but Vi wanted to be fancy tonight.” 

Vi shot her a look. “Thanks for that.”

“What? I’m just being honest.” Powder stuck the big egg of carbs into her mouth whole. 

Clearly table manners run in the family, Caitlyn thought fondly. She herself was the product of innumerable etiquette classes from age four and up. What must it be like to feel so comfortable in your own body that you could risk offending someone? “I always wanted to eat on the couch when I was growing up, but I was never allowed. My parents preferred the formal dining room.”

“Must be hard to be rich,” Powder said with fake sympathy.

Vi scowled. Something thudded under the table.

“Ow!”

 “What my sister means is, that sucks.”

Caitlyn mustered up a smile. “Powder’s not wrong. My life has been very privileged in many ways. I really shouldn’t complain.” 

“It’s not a competition, though.” Vi shoveled noodles into her mouth. 

Caitlyn’s mind whirred. Powder didn’t like her; that much was obvious. Had she done something to offend her? She couldn’t think of anything besides simply being Vi’s soulmate. 

How could she win Powder over? 

“So, Powder, Vi says you like engineering. And it looks like you’ve won a few awards for it.” 

Powder rolled her eyes. “Cleverly spotted.”

Caitlyn persisted. “It’s an impressive skill. Are you thinking about going to college for that?”

“Yeah.”

She waited, but no further information was forthcoming. “Have you started looking at colleges yet?”

“Yeah.”

The single-syllable answers are so very promising. Caitlyn looked to Vi for help, but she had a mouthful of noodles, so Caitlyn offered, “I really enjoyed my time at Piltover University.”

Powder lit up. “You’re a Piltie?”

Caitlyn could have fallen out of her seat in shock. Only years of experience hiding her emotions kept her upright. “I am. I got my bachelor’s in criminal justice a few years ago now.”

Powder… laughed? “Oh my God. Vi, she’s a Piltie. Did you know that?”

Vi swallowed. “Uh… no, I didn’t.” Her gaze flicked to Caitlyn, and she looked almost guilty. 

Why? 

Before Caitlyn could ask, Powder gleefully jumped in to explain. “Vi went to Zaun Community College. They hate Piltover students. Think they’re pretentious and too big for their britches.” She cackled. “I don’t even know how many Piltie jokes she told over the years. It was a lot.”

Ah. Caitlyn sat back in her seat. She knew Zaun. Most Piltover students looked down on it. Cheap tuition, graffiti on the dilapidated buildings, with the main campus situated on the bad side of town… it had a trashy reputation among the upper-class university students. Her parents hadn’t even allowed her to apply there. 

She’d done her senior thesis on how to improve the crime rates around its campus. With an emphasis on how working with the community college would benefit the university. Her professor had laughed out loud. 

“I did tell a lot of jokes,” Vi admitted. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right. I’m sure we deserved them.” Caitlyn reached over the table to take Vi’s hand. She looked deep into her soulmate’s gray eyes and smiled. Vi’s lips curved in return, and her fingers curled around Caitlyn’s. A warm, intimate touch. 

Powder’s grin died as the handholding lingered. Finally Caitlyn pulled back, but her gaze never left Vi’s. 

Once they had all finished eating dinner and dessert, Vi put the dishes in the dishwasher and they relocated to the living room couch. Caitlyn sat beside Vi. Powder wedged herself in between them.

“I love your art,” Caitlyn told Powder, indicating the abstract spray-paint mural. 

Powder raised her chin. “That one’s old. I can’t believe we still have it up.”

Vi tugged on one blue braid. “Take the compliment, Pollock.” To Caitlyn she said, “The best thing about seeing colors is that I can fully appreciate her art now. Before, it was all black and white. It looks so cool in the full spectrum.”

The best thing. Not having a soulmate, but seeing colors. Pain twinged in Caitlyn’s chest, though it shouldn’t have. She’d never asked if Vi wanted a soulmate. Vi herself had said she’d never expected one. Caitlyn had simply assumed that of course she would want one. Everyone wanted to have that special person with whom they fit perfectly… didn’t they? 

Or would Vi have preferred to get the colors without the bother of Caitlyn hanging around? 

Vi nudged her. “Cait? You okay?”

Caitlyn shook herself. “Sorry. Lost in thought.”

Powder sniffed. “Don’t strain yourself.” 

Vi leaned over and glared. Then, to Caitlyn: “For real, you okay?” She touched Caitlyn’s cheek. “Your eyes went sad there for a second.”

Caitlyn gave a small nod but didn’t pull away from her touch.

Powder held up her palms. “Do you even want me here? Or should I go hide in my room while you two play tonsil hockey on the family couch?”

Caitlyn’s cheeks warmed. “Please stay. I want to get to know you.”

“No,” said Powder, “you want to fuck my sister.”

Caitlyn choked. 

“Pow!” Vi smacked her sister on the shoulder. “Watch your fuckin’ language.”

“Well, it’s true! I’m just a means to an end for her.” Powder scowled, rubbing her shoulder. 

“You’re not,” Caitlyn protested. 

“You’re just another Piltie snob,” Powder snapped. “Only you got a poor little Zaunite as a soulmate. How sad for you.”

Caitlyn bristled at the insult to Vi. “Who said I was sad? I like Vi.” In fact, like was fast becoming an insufficient term.  “She’s beyond what I imagined.”

“You barely know her.”

Vi flushed. “Pow…”

“Don’t Pow me. I’m right.”

Caitlyn clenched her jaw. “Maybe you are. But I’m here to get to know both of you better. That has to count for something.”

“It doesn’t.” Powder scowled. “You’re gonna screw up our whole vibe, and when you leave, because you will, it'll be me and Vi, like it always has been. Like it always will be.”

And the puzzle pieces of Powder’s hostility fell into place.

Powder’s hurt ached in Caitlyn’s chest. The Vanderson sisters had only had each other for so long. Of course Caitlyn popping in out of nowhere was an unwelcome intrusion. And of course it would be easier for everyone involved if Caitlyn just disappeared and everything went back to normal.

But Caitlyn wasn’t going anywhere. Not until Vi herself told her to.

The pain, though. So much pain in that teenager lashing out. She’d built up her walls so high to keep her tiny family safe. And right now, any attempt to knock down those walls would be laughable. However, Caitlyn was patient. She would encourage her to open up on her own time, at her own pace. However long it took, she would adopt Powder as her own sister.

So Caitlyn looked Powder in the eye. “I’m here for you. Whether you believe that or not is your choice.”

Powder blinked. “Uh, okay, obviously I choose no.” But there was a question in it. An uncertainty. And she was quiet the rest of the evening.

Chapter 10: you were in the darkness too, so i stayed in the darkness with you

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Cosmic Love” by Florence and the Machine.

Vi woke to the ding of her phone. Her bedroom window was still dark; it was officially too early for this. With a groan she opened the gym live chat. 

 

David Cho: Is the gym hiring?  

 

Why the hell was this guy applying for jobs at (she checked the clock) three in the morning? Vi was exhausted just thinking about it. At least it was an easy answer. 

 

Arcane Gym: We’re currently hiring for the front desk, morning shift, which is a part-time position. If you’re interested, you can apply on our website here. 

 

Arcane Gym: [sent a link]  

 

She waited to make sure he had no follow-up questions, but the chat window went dark. No further demands, apparently. (No thank you, either, and that needled her more than usual. Had Caitlyn’s online friendliness spoiled her so soon? Or maybe Vi was just tired.) 

Now that she was awake, it would be hard to get back to sleep, so she switched over to social media to entertain herself. She bypassed the fitness groups she was active in and went for the funny stuff instead. The first meme made her cackle out loud; she forwarded the image to Caitlyn for her to see when she woke up. She wasn’t expecting a response. 

But Caitlyn immediately texted back a crying laughing emoji. 

 

Vi Vanderson: What are you doing up?  

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: What are YOU doing up?  

 

Vi Vanderson: The customer service industry is a 24/7 pain in my ass, but it pays the bills.  

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Surely they don’t expect you to answer chat messages at this hour.  

 

Vi Vanderson: Call it job security. If I do it, they won’t replace me with someone else. And you never answered my question. 

 

There was a long pause. Three little dots appeared, disappeared, reappeared, disappeared again. Finally Caitlyn sent a reply, but it still wasn’t an answer. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Any plans this weekend? I work all day today, but I’m off Saturday and Sunday. Maybe we could hang out.  

 

Vi Vanderson: Just monitoring chat and teaching my boxing class on Sunday. And Powder’s going on a field trip with her engineering team all weekend, if you want to stay over…? 

 

Usually Vi volunteered as a chaperone on those trips so she could be there if Powder needed her, but she couldn’t skip her gym class. And as much as she missed her sister when they were separated, she wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to have Caitlyn to herself. 

If she was lucky, she would finally get her grimy little paws on Caitlyn. Ohhh, yes, that was the dream. Muss her perfect hair, feel those smooth curves, get her to fall apart in Vi’s arms… 

Mmmm. She could practically taste her already. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: That sounds lovely.  

 

Lovely. Sure. That was the word. 

They chatted for an hour before Vi felt herself slipping back into a hazy half-asleep state, so she said goodbye for now and burrowed back into her blankets. 

Her alarm woke her, which was unusual. Typically Powder barged in before the alarm went off. Vi cast off her bedsheets and padded barefoot out of her room to knock on her sister’s door. “Pow? You up?”

An incomprehensible mumble came from inside. 

Vi eased the door open. 

Powder was sprawled on her bed, her expression eerily flat. “I don’t want to go to school.”

Vi was the last person to want to enforce school attendance, but she had responsibilities as Powder’s legal guardian. She walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s going on?”

“I just can’t today. It’s too much. I wanna stay here with you.” Powder turned big blue eyes on Vi. “Can you write me a sick note?”

Powder’s highs were a force of nature, but her lows crept in slowly, just like this. Irritability and fatigue and overwhelm. Vi brushed her fingers through loose blue hair. “I can call it in for today. Think you can eat some breakfast?”

“I don’t know.” Powder smushed her face into her pillow. 

“I’ll make scrambled eggies with cheese.” Powder’s favorite, at least when she wasn’t low. 

The offer didn’t rouse Pow completely, but she did turn her head. “Extra cheese?”

Vi would take any interest as a good sign. “Definitely.”

Powder made a vaguely affirmative sound. Not quite happy, but as close as she was likely to get.

Vi pushed herself to her feet. “You can come hang out with me in the kitchen if you want.” She called the school, scrambled a metric shit-ton of eggs, and drowned them in shredded cheese. No sign of her sister. So she spooned a Powder-size serving into one bowl and a Vi-size serving in another, stuck a fork in each, and walked them both to her sister’s room. Powder was still lying in bed in the dark. “Hey, I’ve got your food, but you gotta sit up.”

Powder made a complaining noise.

Vi waited.

Finally, in a visible struggle, Powder pushed herself upright. “Everything feels heavy,” she said quietly.

“I know. You did good.” Vi sat beside her and passed her the smaller portion.

Powder took the bowl but made no move to eat. Only stared at the food.

“I need you to eat. At least a little.”

With a sigh Powder slowly picked up her fork. “I don’t feel hungry.”

“I know,” Vi repeated. And she did. A lack of appetite was typical for a downswing. “But your body needs food, okay?” She kept her voice quiet, even, calm, even as her head thudded with the beginnings of a migraine. Don’t be selfish, she told herself. Pow needs you.

Slowly, slowly, Powder worked away at her breakfast. She didn’t eat all of it, but most. When she finished, she handed Vi her bowl and sank back under the sheets. Vi took the dishes to the kitchen, rinsed them out, and stuck them in the dishwasher. Then, bracing her palms against the counter, she blew out a long stream of air. 

She was so tired.

And she’d thought she might have a break to spend with Caitlyn, but if Powder needed her support during an episode, she couldn’t be running off with Caitlyn. Not that Caitlyn would want to be around for that anyway. It was going to be just Vi, all of it on Vi, like usual. Her headache squeezed tight.

She pulled her phone out and sent Caitlyn a text that physically pained her.

 

Vi Vanderson: Powder’s not feeling well. I’ll keep you updated but we might not be able to do this weekend after all.

 

Caitlyn didn’t respond; she was at work now. Vi was surprised by how much she wanted to hear from her, but there was nothing to do about that. She shoved her phone back into her pocket and returned to Powder’s side, her headache like a nail in her skull. She brushed Powder’s hair out and braided it for her. 

Thud, thud, thud in her head.

This was going to be a long day.

Chapter 11: when it’s right, the light just comes shining through

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Caught Up in You” by 38 Special.

Vi helped Powder get out of bed and put on fresh clothes. She picked out the outfit so all Pow had to do was put it on. They brushed their teeth together, and Powder relocated to the couch.  

Vi sat beside her. “Do you wanna play a game?” Video games sometimes helped produce that much-needed dopamine. 

Powder shrugged. “Not really.”

Vi looked around the living room. It was still clean from her tidying before Caitlyn’s visit yesterday. That was good; mess tended to exacerbate depressive episodes. 

But she wanted to fix something, to make it better. If only bipolar disorder had a face she could punch. 

Vi got up and went to clean the kitchen. She washed the pans left over from cooking dinner last night. Ran the dishwasher. Swept and mopped the laminate floor. 

Her sister never moved from the sofa.

Vi returned to the living room. “Think you could manage a walk later?” She stroked her sister’s hair. “It’d be good to get you moving, and fresh air never hurts.”

Powder sighed. A long pause, then: “I think so. If it’s not for too long.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you right now? Or should I leave you alone?”

“I don’t really wanna be alone.”

So Vi just sat with her, sending her memes and answering the occasional gym live chat. Time dragged. The sun shone brighter through the windows as the morning passed, warming the apartment, but Powder said nothing, only exhaled hard occasionally, like she had forgotten to breathe. 

Finally Vi cracked. “Time for that walk, Pow.”

Powder groaned. 

Vi dug their tennis shoes out of the closet, pulled her own on, and helped Powder into hers. “All right, come on. Let’s get going.”

Exercise might not fix everything, but it wasn’t going to hurt either. 

---

Caitlyn didn’t get to check her phone until her lunch break, at which point she found Vi’s text from that morning. 

 

Vi Vanderson: Powder’s not feeling well. I’ll keep you updated but we might not be able to do this weekend after all.

 

 Disappointment sagged Caitlyn’s shoulders, but it wasn’t like she could blame Powder for getting sick. Vi needed to take care of her sister. Of course that took precedence over a sexy private weekend. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: What do you need? 

 

No response, but it wasn’t her first time building a care package. She could manage. 

She pulled in to the grocery store parking lot. She grabbed a shopping cart and made her way through the aisles. Cough drops. Painkillers. NyQuil. Ginger ale. Tea and honey. Tissues. A YA book. Soothing bath bombs. Her favorite funny movie. Soup, soup, soup. And a cute baby-blue box to put it all in. 

All that was for Powder. 

For Vi, Caitlyn ordered a meal delivery from a local place called Jericho’s, which Vi had mentioned was her favorite restaurant. A couple of burgers, an extra-large fry, and a milkshake, plus chicken noodle soup for Powder. It wasn’t much, but this way, Vi wouldn’t have to cook in addition to taking care of her ill sister. 

The meal delivery service would get to Vi for lunch. After work, Caitlyn would stop by to drop off the care package and see how the Vanderson girls were doing. 

Vi had a lot on her shoulders. Caitlyn knew that much already. She could only hope this would help. 

---

Vi and Powder strolled around the block in silence. With no conversation, Vi’s mind wandered. She still needed to cook lunch and dinner. There weren’t enough leftovers for both of them, so she would have to make something new. Maybe she could order takeout… no, she had already used up her takeout budget for the week. Ugh. Sure, she liked cooking, but a break would have been nice with the extra pressure of handling a depressive episode. 

“Do you want anything in particular for lunch?” Vi asked. 

Powder kicked a rock. “Not really.”

So helpful. Vi tempered her frustration. She’s not intentionally being a pain. Just move on. “Is there anything you wanna talk about? Anything bothering you?”

Sighing, Powder stuck her hands in her pockets. “I dunno. Nothing. Everything.”

Vi waited for her to elaborate. 

She didn’t. 

“Well, I’m here if you need someone to talk to.”

Powder nodded noncommittally.

They made it back to the apartment building… and a big brown delivery bag was sitting outside Apartment 516. A Jericho’s food bag with a receipt stapled to it. But she hadn’t ordered anything. She squatted to read the receipt.

The name at the top: Vi V. So it wasn’t a wrong delivery, then. But who had sent it? She scanned down the list of what was in the bag—food for both of them, not just for her.

The note at the bottom: Hope Powder feels better soon. Don’t forget to take of yourself too. Caitlyn.

Vi rocked back on her heels, a lump forming in her throat.

Caitlyn had had lunch delivered for Vi and Powder? From Vi’s favorite restaurant? Take care of yourself. But it was Caitlyn taking care of her, even from afar. Even barely knowing her a week. Even with Powder being actively hostile the entire time.

Vi hadn’t felt taken care of in… she didn’t even know how long. Since their adoptive dad died.

She picked up the Jericho’s bag, unlocked the door, and pushed it open with her shoulder. Powder trailed in behind her. In the kitchen Vi opened the bag and passed Powder the soup and half the fries. She pulled out her phone to text Caitlyn thank you and found a text from earlier. 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: What do you need? 

 

Vi Vanderson: Just saw your text. Thank you so much for lunch. We don’t really need anything. Food was the big question mark, and now I don’t have to worry about it.

 

She added a heart emoji, then deleted it. Some sexy teasing in the shadows was one thing, but hearts were another. Hearts were sappy. Vi Vanderson did not do sappy.

Powder ate her lunch and crawled back into bed. Vi didn’t want to leave her home alone, so she did a leg workout in her room instead of going to the gym. 

A few hours later, someone knocked on the apartment door. Another meal delivery, maybe? Vi opened the door—

Caitlyn.

Joy, relief, desire all lit up inside Vi at the sight of her.

This is so much better than a meal delivery.

Caitlyn smiled tentatively at her, revealing that cute gap in her teeth. “Hey, I know you’re probably busy, but I wanted to drop off a little something for Powder.” She picked up a big baby-blue box and held it out. “Erm, I think she’s more likely to accept it coming from you, though.”

Vi stared at the care package. At the defined muscles in Caitlyn’s arms as she held it like it weighed nothing. How had she never noticed that Caitlyn was ripped? It made sense with her job, but still, it had somehow never registered. Oomph. Good shit. 

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow and the box.

Belatedly Vi shook her head. “It’s from you. I think you should be the one to give it to her.”

“Are you sure?”

Vi stepped aside. “Come on in. She’s in bed, but I think she’s awake.”

Caitlyn brushed past Vi, and the physical contact sizzled. Vi’s breath caught. She trailed behind Caitlyn as she strode to Powder’s bedroom and poked her head in. “Hey, Powder,” Caitlyn said softly. “How are you feeling?”

A long groan came from inside the room. Vi wasn’t sure whether it was a response to the question or to Caitlyn’s presence.

Caitlyn stepped inside. Vi followed. Powder was curled up under the blankets, only the tip of her head visible.

“I have something for you.”

The blankets pulled down just enough for Powder’s eyes to become visible as well. But she didn’t say anything, only waited.

Caitlyn held out the box. “Where do you want it?”

To Vi’s surprise, Powder drew down the comforter and pushed herself upright. “On the bed is fine.”

So Caitlyn set the care package beside Powder, who popped the lid off and peered inside. Vi craned her neck to get a peek at the contents too. From here, all she could see was bath bombs and a movie. Powder’s favorite comedy. How had she known?

Powder said nothing, though. 

Caitlyn stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Um, Vi said you weren’t feeling well, but she didn’t specify, so I went for an assortment of ‘feel better soon.’ Hopefully you’ll find some of it useful.”

Vi melted.

Caitlyn had gone out of her way to craft a care package for Powder, even though A) Pow arguably hated her, B) Caitlyn had no details on what was actually wrong, and C) Caitlyn had been up all night and then worked all day. 

Which, hey, when had she even had a chance to do all this? Had she spent her whole midday break building a gift box for a hostile teenager in addition to sending them lunch? 

What had Vi done to deserve this woman as her soulmate?

“Thanks,” said Powder quietly. No snide remark. No rejection. 

Caitlyn smiled down at her. “You’re welcome. I hope it helps.”

Powder didn’t smile back, but Vi didn’t expect her to. 

Vi took Caitlyn by the elbow and drew her out of Powder’s room and into the kitchen for some privacy. Caitlyn arched one eyebrow. 

“Thank you for that,” Vi said quietly. “I know your relationship with her is…”

“Fraught?”

“Sure.” If fraught meant complicated as hell. “But I appreciate it.”

“Of course.” Caitlyn touched Vi’s bare arm, and her skin burned. “It’s important to me that you know you aren’t in this on your own.”

Vi’s throat went thick. She raked her fingers through her hair as she struggled to come up with a response. 

You aren’t in this on your own.  

It had been a long time since she’d had any backup. Since she’d had anyone to lean on, to rely on. It felt dangerous to trust, and yet Caitlyn had taken every punch so far and handled them all with grace. 

“I don’t know how to…” Vi’s voice cracked. “I’m used to being alone.”

Caitlyn stepped into Vi’s personal space. “Well, I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere.”

Vi met her gaze. There was no fear in those light blue eyes. No deception. Only determination and kindness and something else Vi couldn’t, or wouldn’t, name. This woman was sweet as a cupcake but strong inside, with a core of steel. She was far more than Vi had bargained for. 

And Vi felt herself falling. 

She reached up and caressed Caitlyn’s cheek, her calluses rough against smooth skin. “Can I kiss you, cupcake?”

She expected hesitation. Maybe an excuse about Powder being right next door. But Caitlyn immediately pressed her lips to Vi’s, the kiss soft but decisive. Her long, slim hands slipped over Vi’s hips and drew her up against Cait. A full-body connection. 

Vi sighed, tilted her head, and kissed her back. The hand at Caitlyn’s cheek slid back to wind in her long hair and hold her close. Mmmm. Perfect. 

The world spun around them. This was an oasis, a quiet breath of peace, of allowing herself to have what she wanted. She had said she’d rile Caitlyn up, and she still planned to do that, but this moment wasn’t for riling up. It was a thank you, and a please, and a number of other things spiraling in Vi’s head that she couldn’t quite verbalize. Not yet, anyway. 

Caitlyn and Vi kissed there in the kitchen for a minute or an hour or an eternity. Hands tender, lips gentle. They swayed back and forth, in time to a song only they could hear. Giving and taking. Peaceful in a way Vi had never felt before. Like roots were growing deep within her. 

Finally Vi pulled back, because she was beginning to believe she could kiss Caitlyn for the rest of her life. “Thank you.”

“For the kiss?”

“For everything. For being you.” For being the perfect soulmate, despite me not deserving any of it. 

Caitlyn smiled and pressed her lips to Vi’s forehead. “Thank you for being you, then.”

“Me? What did I do?”

“You do just about everything.” Caitlyn squeezed Vi’s hands. “I just want you to know I see it. I see you.”

Vi’s breath shuddered in her throat. 

How was she supposed to maintain her composure, her independence, when Caitlyn said exactly what she had been longing to hear for a decade? 

But there were still things Caitlyn didn’t know. Things that wouldn’t be as simple to digest. 

So Vi stepped back. “I’d better get back to Powder.”

Disappointment flickered across Caitlyn’s face, but she nodded. “Should I stay? Or would you rather I leave?”

The dangerous thing was, Vi desperately wanted her to stay. Especially after that brain-melting kiss. But if she was going to help Pow, she needed to give her her undivided attention. “Maybe you should go. It’s not going to be much fun around here tonight.”

Caitlyn nodded again. “All right. You can call or text me anytime.” She left the kitchen and poked her head into Powder’s room. “I’m heading out. Hope things improve for you.”

“Thanks.” Powder sounded less than optimistic about that outlook. 

Vi walked Caitlyn to the door and kissed her goodbye, barely a peck on the lips. Took a deep breath. Tried to collect her scattered thoughts. She wanted to say something, but what?

Caitlyn touched Vi’s cheek. “Take care of yourself too, all right?” Then she was gone, and somehow the apartment felt colder. And Vi wondered whether maybe she did do sappy after all.

Chapter 12: just another heart in need of rescue

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake.

Caitlyn Kiramman: How is Powder feeling? 

 

Vi Vanderson: Still not great. Thanks for coming over. It was good to see you. And she already used one of the bath bombs you gave her.  

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Glad it was a good choice. 

 

Vi Vanderson: Also she’s staying home from the engineering trip so we gotta reschedule the weekend idea. Sorry, cupcake.  

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: That’s okay. Will you still be doing the boxing class on Sunday?  

 

Vi Vanderson: Sure will. See you there? 

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: I’m planning on it. 

 

Vi Vanderson: I look forward to it, then.

 

As the first rays of sunlight shone through her windows, Caitlyn scrubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. Another long night staring at the ceiling, thinking about the things she didn’t like to acknowledge in the daytime. Even the dull criminal justice book hadn’t bored her to sleep. The only good part had been texting with Vi for a few hours. 

After a few cups of Earl Grey, she felt more like herself. Might as well get some exercise in, since she was awake. She packed a fresh workout outfit, slung her gym bag over her shoulder, and headed for the door. 

“Where are you off to so early?” Her mother’s voice came from behind her. 

Caitlyn turned. 

Cassandra was wrapped in a silk robe with her arms crossed. “You’re spending a lot of time with this Vi girl. Your father and I have hardly seen you this week.”

“We’re getting to know each other. Quality time is part of the process. But no, right now, I’m going to the gym.” Caitlyn raised her bag as evidence. 

“Well, I think you ought to be careful.”

“It’s just the gym.”

Cassandra frowned. “Not the gym. The girl. Although I don’t much care for that gym either.”

Caitlyn ignored the slight against Arcane Gym. “Mother, I promise she’s not out to get me.” When they’d first met, Vi had cared more about her being friendly during customer service than about her being rich and powerful. 

“When will you be bringing her over to meet us?”

Caitlyn sighed. “She’s not comfortable with that yet. We’ll work up to it.”

“She’s not comfortable? What about us? Our only daughter has a soulmate now, and—”

“And I’ll bring Vi ’round once we’ve reached that point.” Caitlyn hiked the strap of her gym bag higher up on her shoulder. “May I go?”

Cassandra looked unhappy about it, but she waved for Caitlyn to continue on her way. Caitlyn pushed through the front door and swung it closed behind her.

The gym had just opened, and only two other people were there. Quick change in the locker room; then Caitlyn stepped onto her favorite treadmill. After a pleasant warmup, she picked up a punishing pace. The goal this morning was six miles, a little longer than usual. No Vi to watch today, but that was probably for the best. She didn’t need the distraction.

Her ponytail swung in time with her pounding feet. She breathed evenly: inhale for two foot strikes, exhale for one. Proper form at all times. Caitlyn Kiramman, the perfect runner, the golden child. But she couldn’t sleep, and her soulmate’s sister hated her, and she was stuck working traffic instead of making a difference, and and and .

At least she had Vi.

But Vi had Powder. 

Not that Caitlyn had any right to feel jealous or second-best. The sisters had only had each other for so long. Of course a brand-new soulmate was going to feel like she was being squeezed in. And Vi was doing her absolute best to make Caitlyn feel included while also not dropping Powder or any of her thousand responsibilities. No, it wasn’t Vi’s fault at all. And Caitlyn knew she needed to build herself a bridge and get over it, but the feelings were there. The worries. The tiny, sharp, painful worries that needled her while she lay awake in the middle of the night.

The worries that she wasn’t worth keeping around if she wasn’t contributing. If she wasn’t making the world a better place. If she wasn’t the very best. And it was exhausting.

God, Caitlyn was tired.

She hadn’t had a good sleep in years. It was all catnaps or, if she fell deep asleep, nightmares. The one exception she could think of was her spicy dream about Vi, which had somehow gotten her through the night unscathed.

She hit six miles and kept going.

Run it out, Kiramman. Run it out.

Her phone buzzed in the treadmill drink holder.

 

Vi Vanderson: Looking good there.

 

What? Was Vi here? 

Caitlyn looked around—and Vi was at the entrance to the locker room, her phone in her hand. She winked at Caitlyn. Caitlyn’s breath caught in her throat, and she had to step off the treadmill to avoid stumbling.

Vi came over and shot her a crooked grin. “Were you actually done, or is one wink enough to do you in?”

The latter, for sure, but Caitlyn couldn’t admit that. “I was basically done.” It was half true; she’d passed her goal. And now that she was on solid ground, her legs felt shaky. Probably for the best that she wind down. She slowed the treadmill to a cool-off pace and stepped back on. “What are you doing here so early on a Saturday?”

“I was gonna ask you the same thing. Not that I’m complaining. I walked in to a great view.” Vi blatantly checked out Caitlyn’s ass. 

“Ha, ha.”

“Who’s joking?”

Heat warmed Caitlyn’s face. “Anyway, Powder didn’t come?” 

Vi’s grin dimmed. “I offered, but she wanted to sleep. I’m surprised you’re not sleeping in on your day off.”

Caitlyn hesitated. She didn’t like to talk about her sleep issues; it felt like admitting a weakness. A flaw. She had to be faultless for people to keep her around. “I like to get my exercise in early. Makes me feel productive.” Technically true, if not the real reason she was at the gym.

Vi accepted the answer and moved on. “It’s arm day for me. Would you wanna grab breakfast after?”

Caitlyn smiled. “That would be lovely.”

With a thumbs-up, Vi headed to the free weights section. Caitlyn enjoyed the turnabout of watching her go and, in a moment of playfulness, texted her back.

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Now I’m the one with a great view.

 

Vi checked her phone and, upon seeing the teasing text, turned to arch one scarred eyebrow at Caitlyn. 

Caitlyn laughed. 

She had never been so excited for breakfast.

Chapter 13: i feel something beating pressed up close against my ribs

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Give” by Hey Ocean!

The song Vi sings is “Hard Times Come Again No More” originally by Stephen Foster — I live for Hailee Steinfeld’s cover in Dickinson, which is the version I use here.

After her workout, Vi took a quick shower in the locker room and met Caitlyn at the gym double doors. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“Oh, the pleasure was mine.” Caitlyn’s lips curved. She’d taken her time stretching so she could watch Vi exercise. Vi had watched her stare. “Do you want to take my car? I know a great place.”

“Works for me.”

They headed outside and slid into the front seats of Caitlyn’s sedan. Caitlyn drove them to Legends, a local restaurant that specialized in breakfast and brunch. As they pulled into the parking lot, Vi remembered with a lurch in her stomach that she’d wanted to pay for their next date but that her restaurant budget for the week was used up. 

“Hey, um, would you want to eat at the apartment instead? Sorry, I just—I wasn’t thinking.” Heat crawled up Vi’s cheeks. “Rain check on this place, it looks great, but I—”

Caitlyn touched her bicep. “No problem. Truly. I should’ve confirmed before… It’s all right. Can you put your address in the GPS?”

Vi input the information and off they went. Caitlyn backed into a parking spot right in front of Apartment 516, and Vi let them in. “Pow? I’m home, and I have Caitlyn with me. I’m making breakfast. You want anything?”

Powder raised her head from the couch. “Scrambled eggies with extra cheese?”

“You got it.” Vi turned to Caitlyn. “What about you? I’ve got stuff for pancakes, waffles, French toast, eggs however you like ’em…”

“Scrambled eggs sound lovely.” Caitlyn’s smile lingered on Vi, making her heat up inside. 

Such a beautiful smile.

Sizzling, Vi drew her in for a kiss. Their lips met softly, quietly, in a brief moment of tenderness. Then she backed up and headed for the fridge. Behind her, in the living room, Caitlyn spoke to Powder in a low voice, with no audible response. In no time at all, Vi had scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese whipped up for all three of them. She served it up into three bowls, stuck a fork in each, and set them around the kitchen table.

“Food’s ready.”

“I’d rather eat here,” Powder said from the couch, hanging her head over the edge. 

Vi took her a bowl and then sat on the floor beside her. Caitlyn went to the table anyway… only to pick up her own bowl and join Vi on the floor. She looked stiff there, cross-legged and straight-backed, but there was something heartwarming about the gesture. 

“Thank you, Vi.” Caitlyn ate her eggs in small bites, but when the melting cheese dripped from her full lips, Vi watched her lick it up and wished for that tongue in other places—only to cut off the mental image.

Now is not the time, she told herself, but she desperately wanted it to be. 

A tiny part of her was bitter that Powder’s mental health had chosen this weekend to flare up, of all weekends. She could’ve had Caitlyn all to herself for two full days. Could’ve finally gotten her filthy hands on the curves of the soulmate she hadn’t known she wanted until she showed up in her life, sweet and generous and willing to try and, fuck, super hot. Could’ve shown Caitlyn exactly how much she appreciated her. With her hands and her mouth and…

Vi had stopped eating. Her fork hovered over the bowl.

With a quick shake of her head, she got back to shoveling breakfast into her mouth. No use daydreaming about what she couldn’t have. Well, couldn’t have yet. She’d find a way.

The three of them ate in silence. The only sounds were quiet chewing and the clink of silverware on cheap porcelain. 

After they’d finished, Powder set her dishes on the coffee table and sighed. “I’m gonna go take a nap. In bed.”

Vi didn’t ask how long she’d been awake this morning. “Okay, Pow-Pow. How about you nap for an hour and after that, we go for a walk.”

Powder pouted her lower lip but muttered, “Fine.” Sloooowly she pushed herself off the couch and trudged to her bedroom.

Vi touched Caitlyn’s arm. “One sec, okay?”

Caitlyn nodded.

Vi followed Powder to her lamp-lit room and tucked her blankets in around her. “How you feeling?” she asked softly.

Powder shrugged and burrowed into her bed. “Meh. Thanks for making breakfast, though.”

The thank-you settled warmly in Vi’s chest. “Of course.” She perched on the edge of the mattress. “Do you want a song?”

After a moment of hesitation, Powder nodded. “Maybe the one you sang last time?”

Vi thought back to Powder’s last depressive episode. She knew the day she was referring to. It had been a rainy day, a lot of sighs and tears, but “Hard Times Come Again No More” had given Pow a moment to breathe. Vi took a deep breath and sang lowly, her voice cracking from disuse, “Let us pause in life’s journeys and count its many tears /  while we all sup sorrow with the poor.”

Powder closed her eyes.

“There’s a song that will linger forever in our ears / oh, hard times, come again no more.”

Her sister looked so peaceful, here in this moment. Quiet and tuckered out and listening. Not fighting her own demons, not fighting Vi. Just listening.

“’Tis the song, the sigh of the weary / hard times, hard times, come again no more. Many days you have lingered around my cabin door / oh, hard times come again no more.”

Powder was so dear to her, and it tore Vi in half to watch her struggle to survive these episodes. But the struggle would end, as it always did. They would survive. Pow just had to make it through, and Vi would be by her side the whole time. It would be okay again one day.

“While we seek mirth and beauty and music, light and gay / there are frail forms fainting at the door. Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say / oh, hard times come again no more.”

She tenderly brushed Powder’s hair out of her face, and her sister let out a sleepy little exhale.

“Oh, hard times come again no more.”

Vi turned off the lamp, closed Powder’s door, and returned to the living room, but Caitlyn wasn’t there anymore. Instead, Vi’s bedroom door was open and the light was on. Vi went over. Caitlyn stood in the center of the room, her hands clasped behind her back as she took everything in. 

“Who let you into the inner sanctum?” Vi teased, leaning against the doorjamb.

Caitlyn started. “I’m sorry, I thought—I can leave. I was just—”

Vi chuckled. “It’s fine, cupcake. You’re welcome in my bedroom anytime.” She meant it, too. In my bedroom. In my bed. Hell, yeah. She couldn’t help a once-over at the thought.

Flushing, Caitlyn looked away. “Rather minimalist in here.” She didn’t say it like it was good or bad, just stating a fact. But Cait came from the upper classes, and it probably looked pitiful to her. No decorations besides an old drawing of Powder’s and a few taped-up photos of family members now long dead. Dumbbells stacked in the corner. Clothing, both dirty and clean, scattered across the floor. A pile of library books because she couldn’t afford a collection of her own.

Vi quickly picked up some clothes off the floor and shoved them into the laundry hamper. “Sorry it’s a mess. I’ve been busy taking care of Powder, and the rest of life kinda passes by unnoticed when her issues act up.”

Caitlyn caught Vi by the hand. Drew her in from the frantic tidying. Their hips met. “Take a seat on the bed,” Caitlyn murmured.

A thrill ran up Vi’s abdomen. Yes yes yes yes. But no, they couldn’t, not when Powder was right in the next room. Vi hesitated, then sank onto the mattress as instructed. But she shook her head. “Cupcake, we can’t…”

The corners of Caitlyn’s lips lifted. “I wasn’t trying to seduce you. But she’s asleep for now, and I thought you could use a back rub.”

Vi’s nose crinkled, more out of confusion than distaste for the idea. A back rub? The last time she’d gotten one of those… Actually, she couldn’t think of any time. Go figure. “Uh, you don’t have to do that.”

“I realize that, but I think you could use a quiet moment to feel good.” Caitlyn arched an eyebrow. “Even if it’s not in the best way I could do that.”

Another shiver. If only.

Caitlyn closed the door. “You can take your shirt off if you want. Or leave it on. Whatever you’re more comfortable with.”

Off. Off, off, off. But Vi shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I can take it off if that’s easier for you.” She peeled her tank top over her head with one hand, leaving herself in only her sports bra. That, she left on. No use tempting themselves any extra. 

“Do you have any lotion or massage oil?”

Vi chuckled. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever bought those in my life.” Her past partners had never been the leisurely, massage-y kind, and she had never considered coughing up the money for her own benefit. 

Thankfully Caitlyn didn’t ask. “That’s fine. I think I have something in my purse.” She rifled through her bag and came up with a little bottle of lotion that looked like it probably cost an entire gym paycheck. Was she really going to use that on Vi? 

“You don’t have to—”

“Nonsense.” Lotion in hand, Caitlyn climbed onto the bed and knelt behind Vi. She squirted some lotion into her palm, then rubbed her hands together. Those hands met Vi’s tattooed skin gently but firmly. Vi moaned without meaning to and leaned into it. 

Fuck, was this what she had been missing out on, all these years? 

Caitlyn moved the heels of her hands in tender circles, never too aggressive, massaging out knots Vi hadn’t even realized were there. 

“How are you so good at this?” Vi mumbled, arching her back for more. 

“My mother and I get professional massages every month. You pick up a thing or two.” Caitlyn said this like it was normal to just absorb other people’s skill sets. “Besides, I… well.” She cleared her throat. “You might imagine when I got to practice.”

“Right.” Vi swallowed. She wasn’t stupid. She knew Caitlyn must have had other girls before Vi, probably plenty of them, as gorgeous as she was. Yet the thought of Caitlyn rubbing down someone else this way, gentle and attentive, maybe even sexually, maybe even recently —irritation sizzled inside her. She rolled her jaw. 

But Caitlyn brushed her lips against Vi’s spine, between her shoulder blades. The tiny kiss burned. “That’s in the past, darling. I haven’t seen anyone else since we met. In case that wasn’t obvious.”

The faceless women in Caitlyn’s bed dissolved. “Right,” Vi repeated, trying not to sound as relieved as she felt. “Uh, me either.”

Caitlyn rested her forehead on Vi’s shoulder, her hands still moving with utter tenderness. “I’m glad to hear it.”

They sat there together on the bed for Vi didn’t know how long. Caitlyn kneaded and Vi tried desperately to sit still and quiet, wanting as much of that achy-sweet feeling as she could. But it felt so fucking good and Caitlyn seemed to know exactly where she needed release, working away at the tightness in Vi’s muscles. 

So maaaybe the occasional moan slipped out, but that wasn’t Vi’s fault, right? Surely she could be excused if, after a long week, the touch of a beautiful woman undid her self-control. 

“How are you feeling?” Caitlyn asked softly.

“Nnngh,” Vi managed, too relaxed for actual words. Too relaxed to fully register how no one ever asked her that question.

Caitlyn chuckled. “I hope that means good.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“That was a lovely song you sang for Powder, by the way.” Caitlyn rubbed out a knot in Vi’s left shoulder blade. 

Vi’s cheeks warmed. “Thanks.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I just couldn’t help but overhear with the door open.”

Vi shrugged and summoned up a full sentence: “It’s okay.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…” Caitlyn hesitated. “Powder’s illness isn’t physical, is it? It’s mental.”

Vi hadn’t planned to say so, but she wasn’t about to lie, either. “Right.”

“That’s hard. I’m sorry.”

“It is what it is.” Caitlyn’s kneading hands moved to Vi’s tense neck, and another happy whimper escaped.

 “I know I’m new to your life, and things are still, er, fragile with Powder, but I’m here for you. Both of you.” A determined inhale. “You’re not in this alone, Vi.”

’Tis the song, the sigh of the weary.  

That weariness washed over Vi, exhaustion she so rarely allowed herself to feel, but this time Caitlyn’s strength held her up. Caitlyn taking care of her as she took care of Powder. Caitlyn making sure she was fed and rested and at peace. Caitlyn, the soulmate that she could never have dreamed up, and that she could never hope to earn, but who was here for her anyway.

Vi’s eyes burned. Quickly she swiped away the hot tears before they could fall. “Thanks,” she said again, and it was such a stupidly simple response to something that meant more than Caitlyn could know.

Hard times, hard times, come again no more. 

Chapter 14: here comes the heat before we meet

Notes:

Chapter title is from “Closer” by Tegan and Sara.

Happy Season 2 Day!

Vi woke, bleary and grumpy, to the sound of spray paint. The clatter of someone shaking a can, then the hiss of spraying it. Over and over. It sounded too close to be someone graffitiing the apartment complex… which meant… Powder was painting? At this hour? Of all the ridiculous—

Vi bolted upright in bed, her heart in her throat.

Holy shit.

Powder was painting again.

Okay, okay, chill, Vi coached herself. If you get too excited, she’ll put the paints away. Just take it easy.

But Powder was painting . She was feeling improved enough to express herself creatively. At least for the moment, at least for right now, she was on the upswing.

Vi flung her blankets off and tugged on a T-shirt and boxers. Then she made her way to the kitchen, where she washed her hands and started gathering the ingredients to make breakfast burritos. Soon the apartment smelled like bacon.

Mere minutes later, Powder emerged from her room with neon pink and blue paint staining her fingertips like she’d straight-up dipped them in it. “What’re you making?”

“Bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast burritos. You in?”

Powder gave a small smile. “Sounds good. Smells good, too.”

“Glad to hear it.” Vi handed her sister a piece of crispy bacon from the plate of what hadn’t gone into the burritos. “They’re in the oven now. Give ’em maybe 15 minutes.”

“Can do, Pikachu.” With a satisfied crunch her sister bit into the bacon strip and returned to her room.

“You better be ventilating in there!” Vi called after her.

“I am,” Powder called back.

That was the last Vi heard from her for a quarter of an hour. It was all rattle, hiss, rattle, hiss until the oven beeped that the food was ready. As Vi pulled the row of foil-wrapped burritos out and placed the cooking sheet on the counter atop a trivet, Powder reappeared and took a seat at the table.

“Go wash the paint off your hands,” Vi said without looking.

Powder sulked the entire way to the bathroom.

“You’re not fuckin’ Van Gogh,” Vi muttered. At least, she was pretty sure that was the artist who’d eaten his own paints. Whoever it was, she was not having her little sister emulate that part of the artistic process. Clean hands only at the Vanderson dinner table. 

Once Powder returned paint-free, they sat together and chowed down. Vi’s massive burrito was hot but not scalding, and the chopped bacon complemented the scrambled eggs and cheddar cheese just right. Powder stayed quiet as she ate, but she had a hopeful glow to her, a brightness Vi hadn’t seen in weeks.

God, it was good to have her sister back.

Vi swallowed her last bite and addressed Powder, who was rubbing her belly with satisfaction. “Whatcha painting?” 

Powder shrugged in that quintessentially teenage way. “Nothing new. Thought I’d finish up an abstract piece I started a few months ago.”

“That’s cool, though. I’m glad you’re feeling well enough to work on it.” 

The corner of Powder’s lip quirked upward. “Yeah. Me too.”

Vi poked herself in the stomach, trying to decide if she was hungry enough for a second burrito. Probably not. Booo. 

They worked together to clean up breakfast. Powder rinsed the dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher, while Vi wiped away the mess left over from cooking. Then Powder returned to her painting, and Vi flung herself bodily onto the couch and pulled out her phone.

 

Vi Vanderson: Hey, you want a breakfast burrito? I made a ton

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: That sounds amazing right now. Should I stop by the apartment or meet you somewhere? And when?

 

Vi Vanderson: The apartment. Whenever you want. I’ll be here

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: Can I bring anything to contribute to breakfast?

 

Vi Vanderson: Whatever you want to drink

 

Caitlyn Kiramman: On my way!

 

Caitlyn arrived half an hour later with orange juice in one hand and champagne in the other. The good shit, too, not the cheap brand Vi forced down on New Year's Eve. Vi took the two bottles with a wry “good morning to me.” 

Caitlyn laughed and smoothed the front of her perfectly ironed pants. “I love a good mimosa. And I thought Powder might enjoy the orange juice even if she can’t have the adult version.”

Vi beamed but lowered her voice. “She’s actually painting right now, which is awesome. Means she’s on the upswing.”

Her smile falling open with delight, Caitlyn bounced on the balls of her feet. “I’m so glad to hear it,” she whispered.

Vi indicated for Caitlyn to follow her into the kitchen, where she popped the bottle of champagne. With no fancy flutes to speak of, she just pulled three regular glasses out of the cupboard. No alcohol in the first, a light pour in the second, and— “How strong d’you want it?”

Caitlyn actually hesitated.

“What’s that face for?”

“I—you barely gave yourself any. I don’t want to hog it all for myself.”

“Don’t take it personally. I’m a lightweight, is all. Gotta pace myself.” Vi shrugged.

Caitlyn chuckled, and her hesitance faded. “I’ll take a heavy pour, then.”

Vi poured the champagne about half-full. “Good?”

Caitlyn nodded. “Good. Thanks.” Her lips curved. “How are you a lightweight, with all those muscles?”

Vi grinned. “Good to know my time at the gym is well spent, if you’re checking me out.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “I’ve been checking you out for a long time. Let’s not pretend it’s a new thing.”

Something in the tone of the words sparked Vi’s interest. “Oh? How long?”

Fair cheeks flushed pink. “A—a long time. I saw you before you saw me.”

“Wait a second. When?”

“Maybe a week before we met? I saw you working out in the free weights area when I was running on a treadmill, and then on a different day I saw you teaching a class. I—well. I thought you were attractive.” Caitlyn waved this away, looking thoroughly embarrassed. “Obviously that hasn’t changed.”

Vi’s breath hitched in her throat. Caitlyn had noticed her that long ago, had liked what she’d seen. Vi had been memorable . What a compliment. “I didn’t know you’d been into me for so long,” she teased, rather than acknowledge how flattering the admission was. “You little horndog.”

Reddening, Caitlyn sputtered. “I am not!”

Vi grinned. “You outed yourself, cupcake.” Half turning back toward the counter, she poured orange juice in each glass and handed the most champagne-heavy one to Caitlyn, who looked away and downed half of it in one swallow. 

Vi plated a breakfast burrito for Caitlyn and handed it to her with silverware and a paper towel for a napkin. Only after Cait sat down to eat did Vi sip her all-but-virgin mimosa, savoring the bubbling tartness on her tongue. 

“How is it?” Vi asked after Cait swallowed her first bite.

Caitlyn folded the paper towel in half and dabbed at her mouth. “Delicious,” she replied warmly. “What goes into this recipe?”

“I dunno if I’d call it a recipe. Cook the bacon. Scramble the eggs. Throw the shit together, toss it in the oven. Voilà.”

“Well, it’s delightful. Any secret ingredients this time?”

Just love, Vi almost joked, but she swallowed the words. They hadn’t said the L word to each other, and she didn’t want to scare Caitlyn off by using it, even in jest. “Uh, no, no secret ingredients. Unless you count salt and pepper? Lotta people don’t season their food right.”

“Noted.” Caitlyn smiled and took another bite of her burrito. The tip of her fork in her mouth, the way her lips pouted around the silverware… 

Vi swallowed hard. “Uh, anyway, I don’t have anything on the docket today, if you wanna hang out.”

“Oh?” Caitlyn set down her fork and knife. “That would be nice. I don’t have anything on my schedule either, for once, so if you wanted…” Her gaze lingered on Vi, and the hunger in her eyes had nothing to do with breakfast.

Vi leaned in with a grin. “Horndog,” she whispered.

Caitlyn pursed her lips, holding back a rueful smile. “Keep calling me names. See where it gets you.”

“I’m not saying it’s a problem for me. I think it’s great.” Resting one arm on the back of Caitlyn’s chair, Vi lowered her voice to a rough purr: “One of these days, I’m going to get you all to myself.”

It was Caitlyn’s turn to swallow hard. “And?”

Vi brushed her lips over the shell of Caitlyn’s ear. “And I’m going to leave your fancy-pantsy clothes to wrinkle on the floor while I get acquainted with your fine-ass body.”

Caitlyn shifted in her seat with shallow breaths.

“I think I’ll start here.” Vi trailed one blunt finger along the elegant line of Cait’s neck. “Move downward. Really pay some special attention to your tits, because goddamn.”

The shy laugh shook in Caitlyn’s throat.

“And after I’ve got you all worked up, I’ll kiss my way down to your—”

“I’m out of pink,” Powder hollered from her room.

Vi choked on her suggestion. Never mind, then.

“Can we run to the art supply store?” Powder poked her head out the bedroom door. “I could also use some—oh.” Her gaze landed on Caitlyn. “Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” Caitlyn cocked her head. “I’ve never been to an art supply store before. I’m happy to drive over and pick up whatever you need.”

“Uh, it’s, like, the coolest place in the whole world. Nobody’s going without me.” Powder glanced at Vi, who straightened. “Can we go? I just need a new can of pink spray paint to finish this piece. And maybe some green. But that’s it, I swear.”

Vi pulled out her phone and peeked into her banking app. Her paycheck had come through this morning, and she’d already paid on her credit card for the month, so they had a little money for art supplies. “Yeah, that’s fine. You mind if Caitlyn comes?”

Powder was silent. Then, finally… “Yeah, whatever. Long as we can go soon.”

Vi tried not to react, but goddamn. What a victory.

Caitlyn downed the rest of her mimosa, Vi stuck her own and Powder’s drinks in the fridge, and they all piled into Vi’s truck. Powder unbuckled as Vi pulled into a parking spot, and they entered the art supply store like a line of ducks. They made their way to the spray paints, and while Powder picked out a few cans from her favorite brands, Vi stared wide-eyed at the array of colors she’d never been able to see before. These had all been shades of gray the last time she was in here, but now—

Scarlet, hot and passionate. Yellow, bright and warm like sunlight at midday. Navy, dark and serious. Green, vibrant as fresh-cut grass. Purple, regal and elegant. 

Vi wanted to pile them all into Powder’s shopping basket and take them home to admire. 

“Wow,” Caitlyn whispered from behind her.

“For real.” Vi crouched and ran her blunt, callused fingertips over the labels. She came to a stop at a warm light blue that reminded her of Caitlyn’s eyes. Maybe if Vi were the creative type, she could've painted her soulmate’s portrait. Or written a poem about those eyes. Or done literally anything to show Caitlyn how down bad Vi was. 

Because Vi was down bad . 

But Vi wasn’t creative like that, and she really only had one good way to show a woman appreciation—physical affection. Thank god Caitlyn seemed receptive to that. Vi could only hope it would happen sooner than later. Kissing was great, teasing was great, but Vi wanted to find out what sex with Caitlyn was like. Wanted to learn Caitlyn’s body, map out every delicate inch.

Vi was ready to give Caitlyn everything she had to offer. And that was dangerous. So Vi refocused on the paint colors in front of her. 

“Which one’s your favorite?” she asked Caitlyn, gesturing along the shelf of spray paints. 

Caitlyn stepped forward to scan the options. Finally she plucked one out of the lineup. She stared down at it in her hand, her expression going soft. Vi wanted desperately to know what she was thinking, but didn’t want to interrupt the moment. 

“This pink,” Caitlyn said finally, her lips curving into a gentle half smile. “This shade in particular. Even before I could see colors, this was what I was looking for. It feels like home.”

Vi looked at the can as Caitlyn held it up for her to see. The color on the label was a warm, vivid pink. And goddamn if it wasn’t scary close to the hue of Vi’s hair. 

It feels like home. 

Vi didn't want to assume anything. Didn’t want to make herself into something she wasn’t. But if Caitlyn had been looking for that all this time, only to find it in Vi… Maybe there was something to this soulmates thing after all.

Chapter 15: I wanna kiss you until I lose my breath

Notes:

Chapter title is from "i wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red.

Caitlyn and Vi sat on the floor with an empty bowl in front of them, while Powder finished up her own dish on the couch. The evening sun was low, turning the living area orange.

Caitlyn rubbed her full stomach, smiling at Vi. “Dinner was delicious. Thank you.”

“It’s the Chihuahua cheese on top that makes it,” Vi said, which was not wrong, but also not the whole story. Her homemade chili had been flawless, spicy and filling and comforting. 

“It’s our dad’s recipe,” Powder said, and that simple comment made pain flicker in Vi’s expression. 

Caitlyn knew their family had passed, but not the details. She didn’t want to pry, and yet… “What was he like?” she asked, the question gentle.

“He owned a bar,” Powder said, “and Vi was his favorite.”

“He loved all of us,” Vi corrected gruffly. “And he was more than a bar owner. Everyone on our side of town knew they could come to him if they needed help. He didn’t have much, but there was always enough to go around.”

“He sounds wonderful.” Caitlyn took Vi’s hand, squeezed it. Vi squeezed back.

Powder wrinkled her nose at the affection, but her heart didn’t seem to be in it. 

Vi changed the subject, and Caitlyn didn’t argue. “How are you at Mario Kart? We usually play a round or two while our food’s digesting.”

Caitlyn grimaced. “Actually, it’s been a while. But I’ll play. Just don’t judge me.”

Vi handed her a controller. “Powder’s the one to beat. I think she’s got this thing rigged somehow.”

Powder grinned. “I don’t have to cheat to beat you.” Then she turned the grin on Caitlyn. “Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you.”

Caitlyn took this at face value. She should not have.

Despite the countdown, Caitlyn wasn’t prepared for the race to start. 

“Get out of my way!” Powder yelled at the screen, and she rammed into the car in front of her before speeding off.

“Oh, that’s me,” Caitlyn muttered as Link’s car spiraled off the road. “Whoops.” She mashed buttons and spun the little turny-things until she was back in the race. Last place, but at least on the road again. Progress.

On Powder’s other side, Vi jumped to her feet. She twisted her entire body to go around a curve. “Go, go, go!”

Caitlyn ran into a tree.

“Did you just get a blue shell?!” Powder demanded. “If you send that after me, I swear to God—”

Vi cackled. Something exploded against Bowser.

“No!”

Car after car blew past Powder. Even Caitlyn got straightened out and caught up. Vi came in first because of the blue shell, with Powder a close second. Caitlyn managed to take seventh place, which she was irrationally proud of. She was ninth in the next race, then tenth, but that seventh had her preening.

The bar was embarrassingly low.

They set aside the controllers once Powder bored of playing, and they chatted for a bit about nothing in particular until the teenager retreated to her room for the night. Music blared from behind the closed door.

Then Caitlyn looked at Vi, and Vi was looking back, with a hunger in her eyes that matched the flame that was always simmering in Caitlyn’s belly when they were together.

“Come here,” Caitlyn whispered.

***

Vi should’ve had a little self-control. Should’ve eased into this moment, made it seductive and sexy. Instead she launched herself at Caitlyn, their mouths connecting too fast, too hard. But Vi didn’t mind. She finally had a private moment with Caitlyn.

Vi raked her hands through Caitlyn’s sleek dark hair, collecting Caitlyn, holding her close. Caitlyn sighed, and Vi swallowed the sound greedily. Soulmate or not, Caitlyn Kiramman was a delectable treat. But they were soulmates, their color vision proved it, and that probably made Caitlyn even more delicious all on her own—

Vi pushed away the thought. No soulmates thoughts right now. Only enjoyment. 

She was fully prepared to tease Caitlyn some more, to rile her up like she’d promised. Vi got a particular pleasure out of getting a woman hot for her.

But then… Caitlyn climbed into her lap. Straddled Vi. And Vi’s brain melted into a tiny puddle.

Fuck teasing.

Caitlyn kissed Vi like she was tasting a fancy dessert, coming back to her lips over and over, sipping as if she were something special to be savored. Need burned in Vi.

“Cait,” Vi started, the half name rough in her throat.

Caitlyn kissed it away. Her tongue flicked against Vi’s, and Vi sucked at it until Caitlyn moaned. Caitlyn carded her fingers through Vi’s hair, and the lines of her short nails were electric against Vi’s scalp. 

Vi shivered. “Fuuuck, cupcake.”

Caitlyn hummed and pressed her mouth to the hollow of Vi’s jaw. “God, you smell delicious.” Another kiss, lower. “I want to taste you everywhere.” And another.

Vi squirmed, turned on in a way she hadn’t been for a long time. When was the last time someone had taken the time to make her feel wanted? Usually it was wham bam thank you ma’am. Usually it was Vi doing all the work, which was fine, except it turned out that maybe she wanted someone (Caitlyn) to take care of her in return after all.

Cait’s hands were at the hem of Vi’s shirt now, and Vi mumbled the world’s sluttiest mm-hmm so Caitlyn would slide her hands underneath. And Cait did. Fuck, she ran her palms up Vi’s abs and then over her sports bra, skating her thumbs over both pierced nipples at once, and Vi shuddered.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Caitlyn murmured. “Wanted you.”

Vi was panting now, and as badly as she wanted to question this confession, she wanted even more for it to be true. She’d known, of course, that Caitlyn found her attractive. Vi wouldn’t have teased her with affection if she hadn’t been interested in it. But liking the look of someone and wanting them were two different things, and Vi ached for Caitlyn to want her. 

Because she wanted Caitlyn. In every way she could want someone. In the sex way, sure, but also the keeping way. And that was dangerous.

Vi pushed that thought away too.

She focused on the taste of Caitlyn, the heat of her body, the tender exploration of hands on skin. Caitlyn licked up the cords of Vi’s neck, eased her hands under the bra to pluck at the piercings. Vi swallowed a groan even as she arched into the touch.

Caitlyn pressed open-mouthed kisses up Vi’s throat. She slipped one hand free of the bra and explored again, palm on skin. Palm on abs. Palm…palm moving lower. Palm on waistband. Palm under waistband oh shit oh shit—

“I’m not going to touch you right now,” Caitlyn said, sounding smug about it. “Your sister’s right there.”

“Fuck,” Vi said, because Caitlyn was right, and because Vi was very close to ignoring that and asking for more anyway.

Caitlyn leaned in to tease, “But it’s good to know you’re interested.”

I’m interested in anything that has to do with you, Vi thought but didn’t say. Then they were kissing again, and Caitlyn’s hands were dragging through Vi’s hair again, and Vi did groan that time. She couldn’t stop the sound from coming out.

Caitlyn devoured it. Devoured her. Vi wanted to take everything she was offering, to be taken in return.

Caitlyn was in control of this moment, but she was panting too. She rocked against Vi’s lap, looking for friction.  “I need you, Vi.”

Vi was about to explode if she didn’t get her hand down Caitlyn’s pants now. She went for the belt.

But a phone buzzed. Hazy-headed, Vi scrounged up the brain cells to check hers, in case it was the live chat for work. No notifications.

She looked up, and Caitlyn was frowning at her own cell.

“Everything okay?”

Cait sighed. “Everything’s fine. My parents need me at home.”

“Oh.” Vi supposed having parents who cared if you were alive or not was a good place to be, even if she really didn’t want to let go of Caitlyn, who was now detangling herself from Vi.

It was a soft kiss then, lips to lips. “I have to go,” Caitlyn said, “but I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah,” Vi said, sounding pathetic even to her own ears.

“I’ll text you.” Caitlyn gathered her things and left, shutting the apartment door behind her, and Vi retreated to her bedroom. She needed Cait everywhere—her lips, her chest, between her legs—and she wasn’t going to be able to sleep if she didn’t take care of it. So Vi shut the door, turned on the industrial fan for privacy, and slid under the sheets. One hand slipped beneath her waistband. 

Eyes closing, she envisioned Caitlyn leaning over her, taking care of her the way Vi liked. It was Caitlyn’s hand down her pants, Caitlyn’s fingers parting her curls and circling her clit. Vi trembled, and her hips rose to meet her fingertips.

I want to taste you everywhere.

Vi exhaled harshly, shivering at the memory. How was Caitlyn so perfect for her? She didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve her, yet here she was. Vi’s clit throbbed as she caressed it. With her other hand she groped at one aching breast, then the other. She plucked at her pierced nipples, the way Caitlyn had. 

God, Caitlyn.

I’ve wanted you for so long.

Vi squeezed her eyes shut. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Her fingers jerked out of rhythm at the memory of Caitlyn’s mouth on Vi’s skin, her hands teasing lower. Vi arched up, gritting her teeth against a moan that begged to escape. Take me, cupcake. Make me come.

The gap-toothed smile went smug, and imaginary Caitlyn fucked deep into her, curving her fingers so that spots danced in Vi’s vision. Vi bucked, thrusting back against her fingers. Goddamn, her entire body demanded more, faster, harder, more, and her breaths came shallow and tight as she chased the orgasm.

She could practically hear Caitlyn’s voice in her ear. 

I need you, Vi.

And that was it—those words sent Vi flying off the mountaintop. She soared, riding the high of Caitlyn wanting her, Caitlyn touching her, Caitlyn Caitlyn Caitlyn. 

Her soulmate.

God, it still seemed too good to be true. But if Caitlyn was to be believed—and she’d never lied before—she’d noticed and wanted Vi even before the soulmate bond had tied them together. The soulmate bond could be denied or ignored, but the attraction… that was real. For both of them.

Vi lay panting in bed, staring up at the ceiling, her legs still shaky from the force of her orgasm at the thought of Caitlyn.

If that was how hard she came just from imagining Caitlyn in bed with her, she couldn’t wait to get her hands on her soulmate for real.