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“Adora…!” The aforementioned grumbles and turns into her pillows sleepily. “Adora!” A knock comes at her door and she whines loudly. “You better cover up whatever needs covering, cause I’m coming in there in three seconds.”
Adora groans and sits upright in her bed- fully dressed thank you very much. “I’m asleep, leave a message at the beep.” The door opens and Adora flops back down, covering her face with her arms. “What could possibly justify you waking me up at…” She moves her arms from her face and turns to glance at her alarm clock before replacing them. “Seriously, seven in the morning? You do realize I had to close last night, right?”
“It’s an emergency.”
Adora sighs and drops her arms, turning lazily onto her side. “Richter scale?”
“Like, at least a seven.” Adora raises an eyebrow, fully aware how prone to dramatics her roommate can be. “If not an eight… point five!”
“Fine, whatever.” Adora huffs, sitting up again and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. “Can I at least be making coffee while you have your tantrum?”
“A, screw you and B, it’s already going.” Then comes a pause and, “Are you gonna put on pants, or…?”
Adora looks down at her bare legs, the boxers she wore to bed are scrunched up on one side and she makes a half hearted effort to adjust them. And then she looks up. “Depends, you crank the heat up to ninety?”
“Only eighty! And it was freezing after you came home last night and turned it off. A-”
“Maybe if you stopped sleeping with that raggedy ass blanket, you’d be warm enough at night.”
“You’re insufferable. And I am in crisis!”
With an eye roll, Adora reaches over to her desk chair to snag a hoodie and throws it on. “Yeah, whatever, sounds like I’m good without the pants.” And with that she leads the way to the kitchen, roommate hot on her tail.
She at least has the decency to let Adora get her mug out of the dishwasher before starting in. “My moms are getting in today.”
Adora finishes pouring her coffee, taking her sweet time, and turns around to lean on the counter. She brings the mug up to her lips to blow lightly and raises her eyebrows. “And?”
“And; look at this place!”
Adora holds Catra’s eye for a long moment, as if to gauge how serious she’s being. Deciding to whatever degree that is, it’s likely far too acute, Adora turns away and asks, “Have you eaten breakfast?”
“Why do you think I made coffee?”
“So no.”
“Would you please focus!”
“I’m focused!” Adora snipes, getting a little cranky now. She’s just so flippin' tired… “I can multitask just fine.”
“Yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.”
“See,” Adora sasses, turning away to pull eggs and other omelet fixings out of the fridge, “now this doesn’t sound like an eight point five.”
Catra huffs behind her, but she continues working towards food rather than turn around. “Well it is! They’re gonna be here in a matter of hours, Adora.”
“I’m still not seeing the problem.” Adora says, starting to get a picture of where this is going. She turns around and starts cracking eggs open while she waits for Catra to deliver the spiel with as much melodrama as possible.
“Hello, my mothers are going to be here! Very soon! In Brightmoon. Where I live. In my house even!”
“Catra,” Adora turns on the stovetop and turns to face her roommate while the pan preheats, “what exactly is the big emergency here? Aren’t you and your moms, like… close, or whatever?”
“Yeah, we are. And I love going home. To visit them. They’ve never been here! They don’t know what I live like!”
“What you live like?” Adora scoffs, turning away and throwing some veggies in the pan. “We’re hardly in squalor here, dude.”
“Tell that to the dishes you left in the bathroom. And how about the fact that the living room clearly hasn’t been vacuumed in weeks, even though you’re the one who insisted on the damned chore wheel!”
Pouring her eggs in the pan, Adora sighs. “I vacuumed two days ago, Catra. Remember? I didn’t realize you were home and interrupted your nap…”
“Right, and for what? The floors look like crap.”
“Oh they do not.” Adora grouses. “And the dishes in the bathroom are from last night. I was planning to take care of them after I woke up. Ideally not at seven in the morning.”
“Well my moms get in at noon.”
“And you think we need five hours to clean the apartment?” Adora laughs dryly at the mere idea, poking at her breakfast with a spatula.
“Uh, no. I think you should have called out last night so we could have started this project then.”
“What?” Adora whips around, officially out of patience. “Look, I’m sorry if you’re stressed about your parents seeing your place for the first time, but this is excessive. Our place is plenty clean, Catra.”
“You’re practically a heathen.”
Adora growls at the name calling and flips the stove off violently. She gets her food on a plate and a fork from the drawer. And then she faces a seething Catra. Gesturing with her fork pointed at Catra, Adora says, “No, I’m plenty tidy, but you are an asshole. If you had just asked me to help you get the place a little extra clean and given me a heads up before my shift yesterday, I would have been happy to help.”
“So what? You’re just not gonna help now?”
Throwing her hands up, Adora tells her flat out, “No, I’m not. My portion of the chore wheel is done for the week, and I’ll make sure to get the dishes out of the bathroom by noon. Other than that, you’re on your own.”
“No way! I-”
“It’s always the dramatics with you, Catra! I’m so tired of navigating the veritable minefield that is communicating with you, it’s exhausting. You don’t get to not tell me shit while you stew on it, and then blow up in my face. I just worked the Saturday night before Solstice; I was on my feet over ten hours, got screwed out of a break because of a no call no show, and didn’t get home until four. So I’m gonna eat this food, drink my coffee, and go back to bed until eleven forty-five.”
By the end of her tirade, Catra is glaring at her. “You said you were gonna be cool with my moms staying here this week.”
“And I am, Catra. Stars know I’m looking forward to meeting whomever managed to create you of all people. I never signed up to help you impress them though.”
“Are you at least gonna wear pants while they’re here?”
Adora’s eyebrows fly high once more, and she doesn’t miss the way Catra’s cheeks darken at her own question. “Just for that, I’m busting out the only thong I own and wearing only that around here for the next week.”
“First of all; heathen. Second; I’m- look, it’s your house and you can do what you want, but I would really appreciate it if-”
“Gods, of course I’m gonna wear pants in front of your moms, dude! Have some faith in me, why don’t ya?”
“Oh yeah, cause that’s well earned.”
“What? Like I have a history of hosting guests in my underpants?”
“Don’t you?” Adora gives her a look and Catra’s eyes go positively steely. Ticking off on her fingers, she says, “There was the time I brought a girl home, and you walked out of the bathroom in that stupid little ass towel of yours then proceeded to make small talk for half an hour.” Adora smirks, far from regretful. “Or when I tried hosting a game night here, and we came home to find a noise complaint on the door because your music was so loud. Meanwhile you were trying to burn the place down making snickerdoodles in your underwear! O-”
“As you’ll recall,” Adora interrupts, starting on her food where she stands now that she’s lost her opportunity to effectively storm off. She’ll wait for another, she’s off today, she has time. “once I put out the fire, all your friends loved those cookies, and you’re the one who forgot to give me a heads up in the first place.”
“I shouldn’t have to give you a heads up to avoid you flashing me and my friends!”
“Flashing? Catra, I only wear my boxers out here, they cover more than my sport shorts.”
“And that’s another thing! No more leaving your nasty, stinky rugby kit in the bathroom. Wash it or-”
“You have got to let that go! It’s December, I haven’t had a practice or match in months.”
“Oh, I’m sure the season will be starting before I know it. And I’m not looking to go another round with-”
“Then don’t sign another lease with me!” Adora yells, slamming her plate down on the counter so hard the fork clatters to the floor and the omelet she’s barely eaten makes to slip off too.
Catra looks shell shocked, frozen in place, her eyes wide. Her mouth opens after too many heavy heartbeats, but nothing comes out.
Adora scoffs. “Whatever.” And then she grabs her coffee mug and leaves, making sure to shoulder check Catra on her way out.
Back in her room, Adora lays down on the mattress, sets her mug to the side, and throws the duvet over her head. It settles over her just in time for the first in a series of hot tears to start sliding down her face. She sniffles here and there, but otherwise her crying is quiet. Her arm snakes out from under the covers to snatch a kleenex off her side table as her tears begin to slow.
Once she feels relatively calm, she reaches out again and pulls out her phone, dialling the same person she always does after she and Catra fight. “Hey! Adora?”
“Hey Bow.”
“Uh oh, I know that tone.”
Adora laughs wetly and self deprecatingly. “If you can get there from two words, I’m definitely calling you too much about this.”
“No such thing. Housing stress is hard, Adora, I’m here whenever you need to vent.”
“I just wish I didn’t let it get to me.” she says with another sad laugh. “She’s probably out there cooling off, and I’m in here crying about it.”
“Nothing wrong with feeling your feelings.”
“Uh, I can think of one thing.” She waits a beat and when Bow doesn’t ask, says, “It sucks.”
Bow laughs. “Sometimes, yeah. You wanna talk about what this one was about?”
Adora rolls her eyes. “Her moms get here today and she was freaking out about the place being a mess.”
“It’s not, I assume.”
“Of course not! Like a couple things laying around, but I was already planning to get those this morning, and she could have just texted me yesterday if she was so worried about it. Or at least waited to wake me up until the sun was up.”
“Wait, she woke you up?” Bow asks, surprise clear in his voice. “Did she know you worked last night?”
“Oh, she knew. She just doesn’t care.”
“Hey, I’m sure she cares! I think Catra just gets wrapped up in…well, Catra.”
“I just wish I didn’t like her so damn much.” Adora whispers, squeezing her eyes shut and forcing out a fresh wave of tears.
“Aw, buddy…”
She sniffs and blinks rapidly to clear her vision. “It’s fine, I’m fine. There’s like four months left on the lease, and then…” Adora’s not sure what then. When she’d found this place for a steal, she’d hurried to post on all the queer housing groups for Brightmoon so she could take it off the market quickly. Enter Catra.
Her references were pristine, she was smart and gorgeous and their rapport flowed easily the first time they met, and they even had friends in common. She was a stranger, but she felt like a safe choice. Safe enough even, that they decided to go with the two year lease when it was offered. And she was, in some ways; she’s never stolen any of Adora’s shit- not so much as a cup of sugar without permission, she respects quiet hours, and has never brought anyone who felt unsafe back to the apartment. At first, things were going great.
Then somewhere around the two or three month mark, things began their slow descent to the depths they’ve since reached. Nitpicking and bickering, that same rapport they’d built so easily now wielded as a weapon.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Bow assures her, “I promise. I know you love that apartment, but I’m sure we can find someone who would move in with you! Maybe someone you know a little better this time?”
Adora sighs and rolls onto her back, flipping the covers over her head and mussing her hair. “This sucks. And it’s not even about the place- I mean, it’s not not about it, but she just… Ugh! She drives me nuts! Other than the constant arguments and leaving her hair on the shower walls all the damn time, she’s basically perfect.”
“That’s a mighty tall pedestal you’ve got her on there.”
“You know what I mean, Bow! She’s perfect for me.”
“Adora…”
“Yeah, I know. Not productive, unwise to go there while we live together anyway, yada, yada. I’ve heard the spiel, hell I wrote the spiel.”
“I know you did.”
She sighs at the soft tone. “Thanks for listening.”
“My pleasure.”
“How are you? How’s Solstice prep going?”
“Great! Glimmer’s parents got to the hotel yesterday, so she’s off doing last minute shopping- helping Micah out.”
Adora laughs and nods, wiping at her eyes. The skin around them feels a little raw, and she decides she’s definitely gonna have to stay in her room till she hears Catra leave to pick up her moms. “Sounds about right.”
“You’re planning to be here in time for brunch tomorrow, yeah?”
“Yeah, if that’s still cool.”
“You know it is. And you’re crashing over here?” Adora nods, already feeling a little better at the thought of spending the holiday with her best friends in the cozy little house they bought earlier this year. Already they’ve turned it into a home, and if she weren’t so damned happy for them she’d been green with envy. They have a yard. Like, a whole ass yard.
“Yeah, I figured I’d let Catra and her family have the place to themselves. Don’t wanna interrupt family time on top of already being the filthiest roommate to ever walk the earth.”
“Okay, she did not say that.”
“Uh, yeah, last month she did. Remember? That night I got super sick and she thought I came home drunk. She got all pissy because Glimmer missed a little when she cleaned up after me.”
“Oh,” she can practically hear Bow’s wince, “right, that one. She apologized for that one at least, didn’t she?”
“Once Glimmer reamed her out and went home, basically, yeah. Then proceeded to nurse me like a friggin baby bird for the next four days.”
“Aw, that was kinda sweet.”
“Way too sweet. Did I tell you she sang to me?”
“What? No!”
“Uh huh, I think she thought I was asleep, but…” Adora sighs and her eyes drift to the bedroom door. “Her voice is like, kind of phenomenal. It gets stuck in my head sometimes. Cause my brain hates me, evidently.” she reflects with a sardonic laugh.
“That’s rough, buddy. Do you wanna come a night early maybe? Get outta there an extra day?”
“No, but thanks. I’ve still got a couple projects to finish up here. I’ll be there early though.”
“If you're sure.”
“I am.”
“Okay, well you can always stay a couple extra days after too. But I should let you go for now. I’ve got an appointment here in a few minutes.”
“Go, yes, therapize your paying clients for once.”
Bow laughs. “Hey, gotta make sure I take care of my first ever client.”
“Thought that was Glimmer.” Adora teases.
“Nah, spouses don’t count.”
“Ah, I see..”
“Bye Adora!”
“See ya soon.” The call ends and Adora flops back, staring at her ceiling until she manages to drift off.
Several hours later, Adora wakes up to the sound of her eleven thirty alarm. She rouses slowly, drinking down her now cold coffee before even fully opening her eyes. Figuring she better get to those dishes before a war breaks out in her living room, she gets out of bed relatively quickly. Before exiting, she listens for signs of life at the bedroom door, like she’s back in her childhood home or something. Pathetic.
Sure enough though, Catra is nowhere to be seen when she emerges. More surprisingly, neither are the dishes she left in the bathroom. Nor any other mess that she can see- there are even vacuum lines in the carpet- which shouldn’t be hot, even a little bit, but it’s just so…Catra. She makes her way into the kitchen, both hungry and wanting to make sure Catra hadn’t just dumped her dishes in the sink.
She hadn’t. Instead Adora finds a note on the table, and a plated sandwich beside it. She sits down and skims the note just to make sure the food is for her. Once she sees the note about it, she sits down to eat and read the note more fully.
Adora,
You were right, I’m stressed about hosting my moms and I took that out on you. It was wrong and I apologize.
I know we’ve been bickering a lot, but I was kinda surprised you thought I wouldn’t want to renew the lease in May. I think we should talk once my moms are gone.
Catra
p.s. I figured you’d be hungry so that’s for you. I even remembered to use your weird sprouted bread.
Adora sighs and sets the note to the side, staring out the sliding glass door to their porch while she eats. She mostly spaces while she's sitting there, overtired and emotionally spent. While she washes her plate, however, her mind spins. Catra wants to renew the lease. Or at least, it sounds that way. Adora wants to, but more and more over the last few months, she’s begun to think doing so would be a continued detriment to her mental health. She spent eighteen years walking on eggshells around her home, she refuses to do it again.
Once she’s through scrubbing the plate to excess, she sets it in the rack and goes back to her room to change. Before scrounging up an outfit, she takes a minute to look at herself in the full length mirror hanging over her closet door. Turning this way and that, she wonders if these boxers really are more indecent than she initially thought. Not like she’s trying to make anyone uncomfortable. They really are longer than the few pairs of spandex she wears most of summer, alternating with a couple old pairs of cargo shorts.
Deciding that will have to be part of this talk with her roommate that she gets to spend the next six and a half days fretting over, she opens the closet door and digs around. She pulls out a basic sweater and jeans combo and looks down at it. Even though she’d taken a bath after getting home last night- too sore and wired to go directly to bed, her hair still feels grubby. And so, into the shower she goes.
By the time she’s getting out, she can hear voices in the apartment. Luckily she thought to bring her clothes in with her- she does not need her roommate’s moms to see her in the tiny towel she got to tease Catra. Y’know, back in the early days when Adora thought maybe, if she was lucky, something might…happen. The pipe dream is long dead, but the towel still flusters Catra, and it’s kinda cute. The towel that is. The roommate too, but alas.
Adora walks out of the bathroom, still drying out her hair, and glances into the living room. She sees the family as they disappear into the kitchen and hears Catra saying, “I can just make us dinner here, Ma.”
“Don’t be silly!” another voice says. “We’ll be cooking up a whole feast tomorrow. Besides, let your mothers treat you, it gives us something to live for.”
“Ma!” The other two women just laugh at Catra’s protest.
“And your roommate too, we want to get to know this girl you’re always talking about.” Adora’s face feels hot at overhearing that, and she can’t help but wonder what exactly Catra’s been saying. At least it doesn’t sound like her mom wants to sit Adora down to lecture her about not disrespecting their baby by ‘refusing to be a functional adult’. Still, she’s not sure she wants to sit through a dinner after her morning with Catra.
And then she overhears, “Stars alive, Ma, you said you’d be cool.” Cool? Cool about what?
“I’m very cool! Darling, tell your daughter that I’m cool.”
“C’yra, my love, I don’t think lying will do anyone any good.” Now it’s Catra and just one of her moms- must be Violet- laughing while the other fusses over it.
“Very rude of you to say, but I’ll be the bigger person and still be cool around Adora. And will we be meeting any of your other friends, kitten?”
A little more apathetic, Catra says, “Depends. I know Scorp wants to see you goons again, but she’s with Perfuma’s family until Wednesday.”
“Oh! Is Perfuma coming back with her? Your mom and I still haven’t had the pleasure.”
Catra responds but Adora checks out, suddenly realizing she’s officially moved past overhearing and into eavesdropping territory. She just needs to decide if she’s gonna be a ‘functional adult’ and go introduce herself, or if she’s gonna do what she wants and hide in her room now that she’s seen to her dietary and hygiene needs. In the end the choice is made for her.
She turns around to hang her wet towel on the back of the door and hears behind her, “Hey Adora.”
She clears her throat and turns slowly, smiling at Catra in a way that just feels awkward. “Hi! Uh, these must be your moms.”
“Yeah, um this is Violet… and C’yra.” She indicates them each in turn and C’yra waves excitedly, while Violet reaches out to offer her hand for a shake. “Mom, Mama, this is Adora. Obviously.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you.” C’yra says as they release their hands.
“Same, Catra speaks so highly of you.”
“And of you too.” Violet says, following up the statement with a wink that has Adora’s face feeling hot again and Catra clearing her throat. “Anyway, we were just saying to Catra that we’d love to take you both out for dinner in a little bit here.”
“Oh, that’s so sweet.” Adora says, genuine but a little stiff. She glances at Catra who’s studiously avoiding her eyes. And yeah, Adora doesn’t want to sit through a whole dinner of this. “I wouldn’t want to intrude though, I’m sure the three of you have a lot to catch up on.”
“Nonsense.” Violet says, throwing an arm around Catra’s shoulders. “Our little kitty cat never misses a weekly call.” Catra’s face darkens to almost crimson at this. No one acknowledges it, but internally Adora files the memory away safely. “And we’ve been so looking forward to getting to know Catra’s roomie she’s so fond of.”
“Mom!” Catra groans.
“Well we have!”
Finally Catra looks at Adora, her expression an uninteresting mix of pleading, apologetic, and amused. Adora just smirks back and Catra seems to relax a little at the look. “Seriously, they’re not gonna drop it without a firm no, so. Your call.”
Adora hesitates but, ever the people pleaser, soon says, “Well if you’re sure, I’d love to join you.”
“Fabulous!”
“Okay, why don’t you two go in my room and unpack or gossip about the flight attendants some more or whatever old married lesbians do. I’m gonna stay out here and… not be around y’all for ten seconds.” Her mothers laugh good naturedly at this, and with a squeeze on her shoulder from Violet and a kiss on the cheek from C’yra, they file down the hall.
“So…” Adora says after a moment of tense silence. “That’s your moms.”
“That’s them.” Catra says, huffing around a small, fond smile. She looks sweet like this; with her little grin and cheeks still a bit rosy. “Sorry if they came on a little strong.”
“They’re great, Catra.” Adora assures her.
“Right. Cool.” She rocks on her heels and Adora searches for an excuse to walk away. Any attempt at slipping away is foiled however, when Catra pipes up again with, “Listen, about this morning-”
“I saw your note.”
“Oh, good, that’s-”
“Thanks, um, for the food.”
“Yeah, of course. Look, Adora, I know now isn’t the time but I just wanna make sure; are we…cool?”
Adora hesitates. Are they? “I’m not sure.”
Catra looks low key distraught by this answer and guilt claws at Adora’s chest. She can’t forget the feeling of being nervous to leave her room in her own home though, and so she doesn’t take it back. “Oh.” Catra says, voice small.
“Catra?” She looks up and searches Adora’s eyes. “I’m not gonna suddenly move out on you while your moms are here or anything. We can worry about this later.”
Catra laughs dryly. “Sure we can.”
“Look, I didn’t mean-”
“Can you just not, Adora?” Catra cuts her off sharply. “Just, it’s fine. We’ll talk about it later.”
“I know we will, I’m just trying to say that I didn’t mean-”
“Gods! Will you just stop trying to fix everything all the time?” Catra snaps.
Adora scoffs at her. “Are you seriously mad at me because I didn’t just say everything is fine? When it’s so clearly not, just by the way.”
Catra rubs irritably at her forehead and Adora’s arms cross over her chest. “Of course not. It just- This sucks, okay? And my moms are a lot and… the timing is just shitty.”
“Oh, sorry I didn’t plan the implosion of our living situation around the holiday. I’ll try and do better with my next roommate, I guess.”
Catra’s eyes narrow and in a harsh whisper, she says, “Oh, so you are moving out? That’s just great Adora, glad we didn’t bother talking it out like adults.”
“That’s not what I said!”
“Isn’t it?”
“No!”
“Keep your voice down!” Catra hisses, glancing down the hall.
“Right, wouldn’t want your mothers finding out you secretly hate me. What is up with that by the way? Aren't you guys like, super tight? Why lie about us getting along?”
Catra works her jaw, staring Adora down with fire blazing behind her eyes. “I didn’t realize I was lying, I’m not the one threatening to move out.”
“It’s not like I’m dipping with no notice, Catra! I just said maybe we shouldn’t sign another lease since you’re clearly so unhappy living with me.”
“Who said I’m unhappy?” She presses, taking a step closer. Adora feels her breath come more shallow- not ideal.
“Are you kidding me? You pick a fight with me, like, every other day! You want to know why we aren’t ‘cool’, Catra?”
“Please, enlighten me.”
Hot angry tears gather behind Adora’s eyes, and she knows she needs to get out asap. “Because living here has started to feel like I’m seventeen again. I don’t even want to leave my room because I never know what’s gonna set you off next.” Catra’s jaw drops, in fact she looks a bit like she’s just been slapped. Adora sniffs and laughs dryly. “You can’t s-”
“Adora, stop.”
“Are you kidding m-”
“No, please. Just, I’m- I didn’t know- I didn’t realize it was-” Catra groans and rubs her hands briskly over her face, then peeking down the hallway to her room once more. “Listen, I really want to give this conversation the attention it deserves and I just can’t right now.”
“Whatever,” Adora says dismissively, but she means it when she adds, “I get it.”
Catra nods, eyes searching Adora’s face. “I’m sorry it’s been like that for you, I know how much you hated that house and if I’d realized… And I didn’t mean to get snippy with you, it’s okay that we’re not okay, you know? I just… I need you to let that suck, for me at least. I’m gonna be anxious about it until we talk but that’s not- I’m not mad that you’re not pretending or however you said it. I’m just…”
Tension seems to flood from Adora’s body, leaving her almost lightheaded. “Anxious.” She finishes Catra’s thought. “I get it, thanks for clarifying or whatever. I guess I didn’t really give you a chance the first time, huh?”
“Not really, but… given how things have been going, guess I can’t fault you.”
“Right. So… talk soon?”
“Talk soon.” Catra confirms softly.
Adora hesitates but soon rushes out, “Can we like, hug it out?”
Catra looks surprised but holds her arms out readily. Adora falls into her, tucking her face into Catra’s cloud of hair. She sniffs and blinks out a few hot tears that will be held back no longer. After a few seconds, Catra brings a hand up to Adora’s back and rubs up and down gently. Unable to stop it, Adora chokes on a single sob. At that she’s held even more tightly.
Catra turns her face so her lips are almost brushing Adora’s ear to whisper, “I’m so sorry, Adora. I’m so sorry.”
The sound of Catra’s bedroom door opening startles them apart and Adora turns away to wipe at her face. Behind her she hears Violet ask, “Honey, you have a diffuser, don’t you? Your mother swore she packed it, and yet…”
“Uh, yeah, mom. It’s in the bathroom under the sink.”
“Perfect! And I called around and got us a reservation for six.” Adora, as cleaned up as she’s gonna get, turns around and smiles. “Adora, dear, you don’t have any dietary restrictions, do you?”
“Oh, uh, I don’t eat meat, but I can usually find something.”
“Great, you should be just fine at this place, C’yra and I browsed the menu online before we called.”
“Sounds great, thanks again for inviting me.”
“Sure thing. And six is okay?”
“Six is great.”
“Great, Catra, do you want to just drive us all in your car? Maybe leave a little after five?”
“Sounds good, mom.”
“Alrighty then, I’m gonna go make sure your mother isn’t getting too nosey.”
Catra scoffs out a laugh and calls after her mom, “You can tell Ma I already hid all the good stuff before you got here.” The door closes and louder Catra calls, “And I know you used to steal my romance novels! You dog ear the pages like a stars damned heathen.”
She turns back to Adora, still snickering, and her expression melts, laughter petering off into a sigh. Unsure of what else to say, Adora asks, “Your mom stole your romance novels?”
Catra rolls her eyes, smile resurfacing. “Yeah, I thought I was about to get my ass grounded when the first one went missing. Then it showed back up all messed up and the same thing happened with the next one I got. My mom reading the gay lit I brought into the house has definitely come up in therapy, but it’s kinda funny looking back.”
Adora laughs and shakes her head. “Wild, I got caught with a copy of Nylon and didn’t see the sun for like, a month, I swear.” Catra’s smile drops but Adora shakes her head and smirks. “It was well worth it, I assure you. She never found the pages I tore out with up and coming LGBT celebs.”
Catra barks out a laugh. “Well, glad it was worth it anyway.”
“I still have the pages actually.”
“You do not!” Catra says with a laugh, slapping lightly at Adora’s shoulder.
“Uh, I definitely do.”
Catra just laughs again, shaking her head and smiling. It reminds Adora of those first few months living together. They would laugh like this, over nothing in particular, and stay up too late drinking wine. Some nights there would come a point when one or both of them would lean in ever so slightly, Adora would just start to wonder if maybe… Usually that was about the time Catra called it a night- sending her message loud and clear, even if it took Adora a few times to get with the program.
Then of course the fighting has started, growing worse over time, and now…. Well, it’s nice to have the moment anyway. “I have a couple gifts I should get finished up before we go.” she finally says after a few moments of that comfortable silence.
“Right, of course.”
“But I’ll meet y’all out here around five.”
Catra nods. “See ya in a bit.”
And with a final nod of her own, Adora turns around and disappears into her room. And for the first time in a while, it doesn’t feel like hiding.
Dinner is a blast as it turns out. Adora’s social energy is by no means at an all time high, but Violet and C’yra more than compensate for that. They tell story after story of Catra through the ages and by the time desert comes, Adora thinks she might be actually, officially in love with her. She might also just be drunk.
Catra’s driving and Violet doesn’t drink, so when C’yra had seen her favorite cocktail on the menu she convinced Adora to join her for one. And one had turned into two, and two into three, and…it might have just been three. Maybe four. As it turns out, lemon drops are deceptively strong.
As desert winds down, Violet excuses herself to the restroom and, after a few minutes, C’yra heads off to “check up on her”. The moment she disappears around a corner, Catra leans into Adora’s space, taking her by surprise.
“You wanna know a secret?”
Adora grins and looks down at Catra who’s still watching in the direction of her mothers. “Always.”
Catra looks up, smirking. “They’re almost definitely making out.”
Adora laughs and Catra joins in, and then they’re just…giggling intermittently and staring at one another. Unbidden, the words, “You’re eyes are like, really pretty” come from Adora’s mouth.
Catra flushes and she ducks her head a moment. “Oh, uh, thanks.”
Adora hums and, on a roll apparently, continues, “Like striking cause, y’know, different colors, but also…”
She trails off, distracted by her study of the intricacies of Catra’s eyes. After some amount of time the woman in question prompts, “But also…?”
“Oh!” Adora smiles and looks at her properly. “Just, they’re so… there’s a lot going on.”
“A lot going on?” Catra verifies with a short laugh.
Adora huffs, still smiling, still looking at that gorgeous face, and insists, “Yes! It’s like…crackley, all the lines of colors just branch off over and over and…” She pulls back and beams at Catra. “Gotta bring some breadcrumbs in there, I could get my ass lost. Turned into gingerbread.”
“Pretty sure it was the house that was made of gingerbread.”
“Pretty sure you’re made of gingerbread.”
“What? Cause I’m brown?” Catra teases.
Adora just rolls her eyes and snorts. “Uh, no. Cause you’re all…” Adora waves her hands around and Catra just raises an eyebrow. “Like, you know gingerbread?”
“Uh huh…”
“And it’s kinda sweet.”
“As cookies often are, yes.”
Adora crosses her eyes at Catra’s bemused tone, but carries on. “But it’s also, like, spicy. Sometimes so spicy you can’t even eat it.”
“Seriously? How white are you?”
“You know what I mean!”
“I’m sure I don’t.”
“Well, cause sometimes you’re mean to me, but then sometimes you’re really sweet. Like when you bought me gatorade and ‘membered that I like the blue kind, and I was really sick.”
“Only kind worth drinking to be fair.” she murmurs, catching Adora’s gaze once more. After a minute, still in that low voice, Catra says, “I yelled at you before that though, huh?”
“Yeah,” Adora sighs, turning to look out the window next to them, “you did.”
“Did I ever apologize?” Adora turns back to see Catra’s face is pinched, eyes staring down at her nearly empty plate.
“No, not that time. I mean, in your way you did, with the gatorade. Saltines too. And you made- well, you were there.”
Catra sighs heavily and runs a hand through her hair, glancing toward the bathrooms briefly. Under her breath, Adora hears her grumble, “This week is gonna be torture.”
It stings, it does, and Adora looks out the window to hide her wobbling lower lip. Is being nice to her really such a chore? “I think I’m gonna stay at my friends' a couple extra days.” she says, unaware she’s thinking that until the words are out.
“What?” Catra asks, voice a little sharp.
Adora turns and she can’t read the expression on Catra’s face. “Bow invited me. I just thought… I dunno, stay out of your hair. Not make this harder than it has to be.”
“Sorry, not make what-”
“Girls!” C’yra interrupts. She claps her hands together and beams at them, her wife beside her looking a little flushed. Adora suppresses a giggle remembering what they were up to. She wants a love like that. “We settled the bill on our way back, are you ready to head out?”
Adora looks to Catra, her syrupy brain having trouble conjuring an answer. “Yeah, Ma, I think we’re done here.”
And maybe there wasn’t supposed to be any double meaning to that, but the way Catra avoids her eyes as they exit sure makes it seem like there was.
When Catra exits the restaurant behind her moms, Adora leading the charge, she doesn’t notice it’s snowing until her roommate says something. At her breathless exclamation of “ Snow! ” Catra looks up.
The snow is light, just barely leaving a layer of frost on the ground, some flakes melting even as they fall. Clearly, Adora’s not too fussed about the quality of the precipitation. She’s stepped onto the street, standing in an open space between two cars parked on the curb, her eyes closed and her face tilted up to the sky. She’s beaming and already there are a few snowflakes catching on her eyelashes. Lit by the warm glow of the restaurant behind Catra and the streetlight above, she looks nothing short of radiant.
Catra’s shaken from her stupor by an elbow digging into her ribs. She hisses under her breath and turns to see her mom giving her a knowing look. Quietly she murmurs. “Mama and I will meet you at the car, alright, kitten?”
She tries to remind her, “You said you guys would be cool!” but her parents are already walking away, and she doesn’t want Adora hearing instead. And so, with a sigh, she turns to look at Adora. She’s looking up now, smiling at Catra in a way she could never deserve.
“Did you see?”
“What? The snow?” Adora nods and Catra laughs at her. Between the drinks C’yra had plied her with all evening and the snow, she’s like a dopey little kid- even her cheeks and her little nose are turning pink. “Yeah, dummy, I saw it.”
Adora’s smile falters, but she shakes it off quickly so it was hopefully some errant passing thought and not something Catra said. Hopefully. “Where’d your moms go?”
“Car.” Catra says.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to-”
“You didn’t.” Catra hurries to assure her, not wanting her feeling guilty for such a stupidly adorable display. Sure it’ll probably haunt Catra in both dreams and waking hours for the next two months, but that’s not Adora’s problem. Hell, none of their issues are truly Adora’s problem- it’s all Catra.
She supposes, sure, Adora could be better about not leaving clothes strewn all about the apartment. And yeah, her weird habit of piling dirty dishes by the bathroom sink from her room and when she snacks in the tub is infuriating at best. There’s also her friends, who are mostly fine but can just be so… loud and peppy- which is a lot after a eight hour day of working customer service. And it’s not her fault Catra’s a light sleeper, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying when she’s woken up at all hours of the night and morning when Adora gets home from a shift at the bar. Especially when Catra can hear her whispering and giggling with some mysterious other party, keeping her awake all night wondering what her roommate and said mysterious party are up to.
The point is, Catra was aware she’s an asshole, it just wasn’t until Adora put moving out on the table that Catra realized just how rotten she’s been. She’s gonna try to fix it, but her hopes only go so high.
For now she just tips her head in the direction of the car and says, “Ready to head home?”
Adora nods, and so together they walk back to the car. The drive home is quiet, everyone seeming to have grown sleepy from their full tummies. By the time they make it home, everyone is ready to wind down and head towards bed. Catra knows she’ll be up late reading, her mind racing too quickly for her to get any rest just yet, but she’s looking forward to some quiet, introvert time.
She gets her moms set, the three of them wishing Adora a good night and a happy Solstice- she’ll be leaving early tomorrow before any of them are likely to be up, and then Catra makes up her little couch bed and climbs in. She pulls the novel she’d stashed under the couch out and cracks it open, allowing herself to be immersed in a world where love doesn’t hurt and the lesbians always win. Just as she’s getting to the climax, she hears a creak in the floor and looks up.
Adora’s silhouette is hovering in the doorway. When Catra shuffles, she calls out in a whisper, “Catra?”
“What’s up?” Catra answers, keeping her voice low.
“What are you doing out here…? In the dark.”
Catra’s brow furrows and she props up on her elbow, squinting to try and make Adora out more clearly. “Did you think I was gonna sleep with my parents?”
“I thought you were gonna use the air mattress.”
Catra scoffs. “Maybe if you and your friends hadn’t popped it. Remember? Back when you insisted on making that stupid super couch on your birthday and then left it like that for a month.”
“Like ten days.” Adora responds, as if by reflex. But then softer, “I did forget, I’m sorry. I meant to replace it, we just… haven’t had company.”
“It’s whatever.” Catra grumbles, feeling bad for making Adora apologize to her.
Adora continues to stand there, hovering. Catra lays back and reopens her book just for something to do. She’s not reading though, too unnerved by the thought of Adora watching her- even in the dark. Finally, after starting to shift around in place, Adora asks, “Is your back gonna be okay?”
Catra turns her head but doesn’t set her book down. “Huh?”
“Your back. It- Catra, that’s not even technically a couch.”
“What does that even mean?” Now the book gets set aside again.
“Well it’s a loveseat.”
Catra’s face feels hot at the thought of how many times she and Adora have sat side by side on this loveseat. Y’know, because she’s a thirteen year old girl apparently, and sitting next to your crush is some big deal. “So?”
“So it’s so short!”
“Not all of us are giants, Adora.” she huffs, turning on her side and propping her head up again.
“I just-”
“Yes?”
“I feel bad. It’s my fault there’s no air mattress-”
“Cause those are notoriously good for the human back.”
“And now it’s Solstice eve, and you’re stuck scrunching to fit on our couch.”
“Thought it was a loveseat.” Catra teases. She doesn’t hear or see a reaction, but she’s got a feeling Adora’s rolling her eyes.
“Not the point.”
“And what is the point?”
“I- nothing, I guess, I just feel bad I screwed you over.”
“It’s fine, Adora.” Catra groans. “I’ll do some yoga in the morning or something. My back’s been through worse than a few nights on the sofa.”
“Sleep in my bed.” The…invitation? demand? offer? Yeah, offer seems right. Ish. The offer comes out all in a rush.
Catra is stunned, no single thought able to form fully. “You don’t have to-”
“Sorry! That was…” She trails off and shakes her head, clearing her throat before speaking again. “I mean, if you wanna crash with me tonight, that’s fine. I’m, uh, I mean, I’m not gonna be home the next few nights. My bed will be empty, you might as well get some decent rest, right?”
“I-I guess…” Catra’s heart is doing some really weird shit right now. And why can she feel her pulse behind her eyes? “Thanks? It’s not necessary though.”
“No big!” Adora attempts to assure her, her voice too strangled and awkward for it to really work. “So, uh, I was just, like, grabbing some water? But if you wanna meet me in there…”
Catra stills- she hadn’t meant to actually solidly agree to sleeping in Adora’s bed while she’s gone, let alone tonight. “Oh, uh, are you sure? I can just- I mean, one night on the couch isn’t gonna kill me.”
Adora sighs. “There’s no pressure, Catra. If you’re uncomfortable-”
“I’m not uncomfortable!” Catra lies, feeling the need to defend herself against the truth for fear of Adora figuring out the whole truth. If she hasn’t already.
“Okay…” Adora says, not sounding fully convinced. “Well I’m gonna grab water, so.” Then she hesitates a moment, and walks away.
Catra is paralyzed. If she stays out here, it’s gonna be a whole thing. At least, that’s what she manages to convince herself of. She already agreed, if she changes her mind now, Adora would ask why, right? And what’s Catra supposed to say? 'I’ve been in love with you for practically twenty months, so the thought of lying in your bed while you sleep next to me, knowing that you don’t want me like I want you, sounds like an actual literal layer of hell?' She can’t say that!
But what she can do is rush in there and pretend to be half asleep by the time Adora follows her. That’s reasonable, right? The healthy, mature, adult thing to do. And so, fueled by all the flight/fight/freeze hormones rushing through her body, Catra practically chucks her book back under the loveseat and scurries to Adora’s room. She picks the side that looks relatively unmussed and dives in, burying herself into the covers right up to her nose.
Adora takes her time and when she makes it to the room, Catra is probably closer to sleep than not. She keeps her eyes closed but is roused by the renewed hammering of her heart. “Catra?” Adora whispers.
She mumbles something back halfheartedly.
“Sorry, nevermind.” And then the bed dips behind Catra and her heart stops altogether.
Adora’s bed is warm, her sheets soft, and duvet fluffy. It’s like being in a cloud that has shockingly good back support. Like seriously, Catra thinks if she laid the right way, her spine might actually realign itself. As she drifts off to sleep, all wrapped up in the way Adora always smells on the rare occasion they hug, she thinks to herself she’s now certain where she’ll be sleeping for as long as Adora is gone.
Catra wakes to Adora’s voice, not speaking to her but murmuring quietly. By the time Catra’s actually able to register her words, she’s saying, “...course I saw it.” A beat passes and then, “I mean, do I have a choice?” Catra blinks her eyes open, looking sideways at Adora’s back.
She’s standing in front of her desk, facing the window. Catra didn’t register what Adora had slept in, but now that she sees her standing there in an old tee shirt, boxers, and knee high winter themed socks, she feels her face get uncomfortably warm. Not wanting Adora to see, she rolls over and buries her face in the pillow- hating that she notices how good it smells.
“Hang on.” Adora whispers, presumably into the phone. There’s a beat of silence and then, “Yeah, everything’s fine.” A longer pause and then she chuckles darkly, “Bow, I appreciate that, but if I don’t trust my truck to get there, you really think I’m gonna get in some stranger’s prius?” Catra tenses; this couldn’t possibly mean… “No, I know.” Cause why would she- “I still can’t believe how hard it dumped last night. It’s a pain in my ass right now, but it’s so beautiful.”
Catra sits up and looks out the window. All she sees is white. Slowly she climbs out of bed, dragging a blanket around her shoulders since Adora sleeps with the window cracked like a total wacko. She sees Adora jump from the corner of her eye as she approaches the window, hears her say, “Uh, Bow? I should let you go.”
Catra tunes out the end of the conversation, transfixed by the image out the window. It must be early- the sky is grey and the air still. And it’s quiet, quiet the way only snow can silence an entire place. The snow is so bright where the sun creeping over the horizon has started to hit it, it almost hurts to look at. It’s also very clearly deep, like, at least a foot but likely several inches over that.
“Sorry if I woke you.” Adora murmurs, shaking Catra from her survey of the world outside. “I thought I heard one of your parents out there.”
Catra nods without looking at her. “Pretty sure Ma’s never slept in a day in her life.”
“Got it.” She pauses and Catra still doesn’t look. Can’t. Because who knows what comes next? And then Adora says, “So I dunno how much you heard, but, well, with the snow…”
Catra turns to look at her, blinking sleep from her eyes to make her out more clearly. “You’re gonna be home for Solstice.”
“Yeah.” Adora cringes, and Catra’s heart sinks.
It’s not like she doesn’t get it- they’ve been fighting and Adora maybe doesn’t even want to live with her anymore. Plus, Adora had plans with her friends. Her chosen family, and Catra knows how important they all are to her. How important celebrating the holidays somewhere that feels like home is to her. It just breaks her heart that because of Catra’s own actions, this place feels so unhomey to Adora that she literally cringes at the thought of spending the holiday here.
Before she can speak, Adora rushes to say, “Look though, I’m gonna do a makeup holiday with the fam when the roads are clear, so I’m fine.”
“Uh…” Catra’s not sure if she’s just still half asleep or what, but Adora’s words don’t compute.
“Like, I’m not gonna be in your hair all day. I can just hang in here and like, watch movies and craft or whatever.”
“I’m sorry, you want to sequester yourself on Solstice?” Catra asks, trying really friggin’ hard to not let the sting from that come out sharply in her voice. She’s not sure how well she does, cause Adora looks taken aback.
“I just figured you guys have plans…”
Catra rolls her eyes. “Yeah, plans to eat a shit ton of food and sit around in our jams till dinner.” Adora smiles…maybe more like smirks, and Catra narrows her eyes. “What?”
“Sorry, what are you sitting around in?”
Catra repeats her words back in her head. “Oh shut up, Adora.”
“It’s cute!”
Catra’s stomach flutters and she scoffs to clear it. “I’m not cute.”
“Oh please.”
“Whatever.” Catra grunts. “Just… stop being difficult and spend the day with us, alright?”
“If you’re sure.” Adora says, still smiling knowingly.
“What time is it anyway?”
“Uh, like six?”
Catra makes a face then and whirls around to stal back to the bed as she says, “Nuh uh, forget that. We’re going back to bed.”
Adora makes a weird noise then says, “Oh we are, are we?”
Catra gets under the covers and sits, leaned back on her hands. She’s pretty sure Adora checks her out for a second, and she can’t say she minds it. “I mean, if you’d prefer to go read the paper with C’yra, by all means.” Adora hesitates and Catra huffs, flopping back on the bed. “Don’t be an idiot.”
“Okay, well I’m not an idiot.”
Catra twists to look at her and says, “Well then prove it and get in the stupid bed.”
“You’re so abrasive!” Adora grouses, even as she moves back to the bed.
Catra just makes a face and rolls back over. “Yeah, and you’re annoying.”
Adora makes a whole racket behind her, fussing around and settling in. Catra doesn’t comment when it billows the covers and sends a rush of cold air over her legs, but it’s a challenge to keep her mouth shut. Eventually she manages to settle. It’s quiet and Catra’s just about to drift off again when Adora whispers, “Am I really that annoying?”
Catra frowns and turns to face her. She’s closer than Catra expected her to be, they’re practically nose to nose. “Huh?” Her words come out thick with her imminent sleep.
“Sorry, nevermind.”
Catra blinks and rubs at her face. “Everything’s annoying.”
Adora seems to freeze, despite not having been moving. Did she stop breathing? “What?”
“You’re annoying, but so is everyone and everything else.” Adora just stares at her. “Can I go to sleep now?”
“Yeah,” Adora breaths after a long pause, “yeah, of course.”
“Great.” And then, making a decision she doesn’t think about at all in the moment but will dwell on for years to come, Catra tucks her head into Adora’s shoulder. She snuggles in and is asleep mere moments later, completely oblivious to Adora’s resulting panic.
When Catra snuggled up to Adora the night her mothers arrived and she joined her in her bed, she was certain she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. She did. She wakes up alone, sprawled out across the middle of the bed, blankets pushed to the side. There’s no telling how long ago Catra got up, Adora feels her pillow (y’know, like a total weirdo) and it’s not really warm or cold. Deciding that it doesn’t really matter, Adora glances at the time to see it’s just after ten, and drags herself out of bed.
Catra had said the plan was to hang out in PJs, but obviously Adora’s boxers aren’t gonna cut it. She digs around in her laundry baskets and manages to find a pair of joggers that seem clean. They don’t smell, so. Good enough. She takes a look in the mirror and thinks about putting up her hair, but a headache looms at the edges of her awareness, so she decides down will have to do. In an attempt to make it look not totally lifeless, she fluffs it a little… and then feels immediately silly when all she does is make it look more unkempt.
With a sigh and a desperate need for caffeine, she emerges. Immediately she can smell coffee (bless) and some kind of breakfast cooking, though she has no guesses as to what it might be. There’s music coming from the record player- one of Catra’s old motown records, and chatter filters from the kitchen. Someone laughs. It’s nice, homey. The apartment rarely feels so full of life.
And so, with a small smile, Adora enters the kitchen. Catra is at the dining table, laughing with yesterday's paper abandoned in front of her; C’yra is at the stove, working on what looks like scrambled eggs; and Violet stands behind her, hands on her wife’s hips and singing along to Baby Love. C’yra laughs and turns her head, seemingly inviting the kiss to her cheek that follows. It’s so casually intimate, Adora feels like she’s intruding on something.
When she turns away, she catches Catra’s eye and gets a wink for her troubles. Catra nods towards her moms, smiling wide, and mouths, ‘so gross’. Adora laughs and draws the attention of their guests. Immediately Violet pulls away from her wife and holds her arms out to Adora, who lets herself be pulled into a hug so warm and maternal, it makes her heart ache.
“Morning Adora!” C’yra calls.
“Morning, happy Solstice.”
Violet pulls back and sets her hands on Adora’s shoulders. “We’re so happy we’ll get to be spending it with you, Sweetie. We know you had other plans, but I think we’re still gonna have a special day.”
Adora smiles shyly and nods. “Yeah, totally.”
“Darling, perhaps let the poor woman get some coffee before you get too terribly mushy.”
“I was just saying I’m glad she’s here!” Violet protests playfully, releasing Adora- who does indeed head directly to the coffee- nonetheless.
“Sure you were, my love.”
“You’re very rude, has anyone ever told you that?”
“Oh, I believe you have once or twice.” C’yra says flippantly.
“So few?”
“Oh, you’ve had plenty else to say, you stinkin’ brat.”
“Okay,” Catra cuts in, shooting Adora a quick little knowing glance, “children. In the room. Still. Right here.”
“Maybe you’re a child,” Adora teases, turning around and eyeing Catra over the rim of her mug as she blows to cool it down, “but I’m fully grown, thank you very much.”
Catra rolls her eyes, still smiling. “Sure you are, and yet your She Ra bed sheets say differently.”
“Hey! I waited fifteen years to get those sheets, let me enjoy them.”
“Seriously, what do girls do when they see those?” Catra continues to press. Adora notices her moms turn away under the guise of checking the pans on the stove and she feels suddenly uncomfortable.
“Exactly how many girls do you think I’ve let see my She Ra sheets, Catra?” Adora tries to play the question off as playfully coy. She’s not sure it lands that way.
That gets her a more dismissive roll of Catra’s eyes and Adora takes a drink of coffee to cover her own reaction. “We live together, dummy. I think I’ve got a decent idea.”
Adora runs her tongue over her teeth and glances at Catra’s moms. C’yra is very focused on those eggs, but Violet has turned to look over her shoulder at her kid with a small frown on her face. Looking back at Catra, Adora says, “I don’t think you have a clue, Catra, but either way I’m not talking about this anymore.”
At this Catra suddenly seems to remember their audience, turning to look their way and turning red when she catches sight of Violet’s little frown. Catra deflates and turns back to Adora. “I’m sorry, I- I took it too far, I-”
Adora shakes her head, not wanting to start the day off on this foot. “It’s fine, Catra. Do you need more coffee? You’re looking a little low.”
“Oh.” Catra looks in surprise at her mug. “Yeah, thanks.”
And just like that, they brush past the awkwardness. Adora moves forward to fill Catra’s mug, and C’yra announces that breakfast is ready. It’s nice, not nearly as uncomfortable as she feared crashing the family Solstice celebration (of the roommate who may or may not low key hate her) might be. At first Adora gets the impression that Catra’s so different around her moms; relaxed and laughing easily, but that’s not quite it. She’s not different, her biting wit and heavy sarcasm still very much at play, her teasing just seems to lack the bitter undertone it carries when aimed at Adora.
After a bit of bickering, Catra and Adora manage to shoo their guests out of the kitchen so they can clean up from breakfast. They head to the living room to pick a holiday movie to put on while the family exchanges gifts, already poking fun at one another’s suggestions. Catra watches her mothers go with a fond smile, then turns to exchange a conspiratorial look with Adora.
“Having a good holiday?” Adora asks, tearing her eyes from Catra to get started on the hand washing. Behind her, she hears Catra starting to put things away.
“Yeah, sorry you got stuck with me and those dorks though.”
Adora falters, the scrub brush in her hands slipping off the edge of the pan in her hand so she hits her wrist awkwardly. “Not your fault.” she manages to say before too long. “I just feel bad for crashing your time with your moms.”
“Please,” Catra says lightly, “it’s nice to have a buffer.”
“Aw, come on, I bet you love having their undivided attention.”
“Shut up!” Catra insists with a laugh that squeaks at the end, a sound sweet enough to rot Adora’s teeth. “I do not.”
“Catra,” Adora turns off the water to turn around and give Catra a look, one hand on her hip and the other holding the scrub brush aloft, “you’re like, the biggest only child I have ever met.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Besides! You’re an only child too.”
Adora rolls her eyes and turns back around. “Maybe, but it manifested very differently in you and me.”
“Uh huh, still not clear what you’re getting at.”
“I dunno, you’re just… I don’t think spoiled is the right word, but clearly used to getting a lot of attention and validation.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” Catra asks, defensiveness clear in her tone.
“No.” Adora turns off the water again, this time because she’s done, and dries her hands as she says, “It’s not a criticism, just, like, an observation. And are you really tryna tell me I’m wrong? If you’re moms are doting now, I can’t even imagine what they were like with you when you were tiny and adorable.” She pauses and then, “Well, I mean, you’re still tiny but you get what I mean.”
“Still tiny but not adorable?” Catra says, closing the door to the fridge slowly now she’s finished putting away condiments and leftovers.
Adora swallows so loudly, she sends a prayer to whomever might be listening that Catra didn’t hear the incriminating sound. “I never said that.”
“It was implied.”
“Not intentionally.”
“So you do think I’m adorable.”
“Never said that either.”
Amusement flashes through Catra’s eyes, and Adora feels terribly exposed. She tries to scramble for a reason to leave but then Catra takes a couple steps closer. “Well, do you?”
“I mean, yeah, Catra. Objectively speaking, you’re a very attractive person.”
Catra gives her a derisive look at the cop out and crosses her arms. “‘S not what I asked. Do you think I’m adorable?”
Adora feels like a giant, iron fist has broken into her chest, gripped her lungs, and then clenched that hand tightly. “I- Well, I- You know what you look like!”
Laughing shortly, Catra tips her head and gives Adora an odd look, eyebrows stitching together. “Uh huh…”
“So… there you go.”
Still with that sort of baffled, calculating look on her face, Catra shrugs. As her shoulders sink, the expression melts away to something neutral. She turns away to get a tupperware out for leftovers. The vacant pan will make another dish for Adora. “Right, thanks, I guess.”
Adora takes the empty pan from the stove and turns around to get it clean. By the time she’s got it scrubbed within an inch of its life and is giving it a thorough rinse, she can take the silence no longer. She’s not even sure what Catra’s doing, quiet as a mouse. “So, uh, what’s the plan for the rest of the day?”
“Oh,” Catra sounds distracted at first, but when Adora turns as she places the pan on the rack, her face is that same shade of neutral, “uh, hang around, watch movies, be generally lazy. We usually start on dinner early, probably start a game while we eat or something.”
“Cool, um.”
An eyebrow raises. “Yes?”
“Just, I know you guys don’t mind me hanging out with you today.” Catra already looks exasperated, so Adora hastens to add, “Which is great, and I appreciate it. I was just gonna say, if you do want any time with them- like exchanging gifts or something, whatever- just let me know.”
“Sure, fine, I’ll let you know.” Catra says dismissively. Adora just stands there at that response, feeling incredibly uncomfortable and not sure what to do. “Are you done?”
Adora startles at the question, trying and failing to not take offence. “I didn’t mean- I was just offering, Catra.”
Her face scrunches with confusion, then freezes, and then she pinches the bridge of her nose and takes a deep breath with her eyes closed tightly. After watching all that, Adora then meets Catra’s eye when she looks up, expression telling of a woman clutching to the last shred of her sanity. “I should’ve been more clear, I see how that-” She huffs and Adora eyes her warily. “I meant; Are you done with the dishes? Like, did you wanna go sit now?”
“Oh.” Adora says, voice small. “I’m sorry, I sh-”
“No, you’re fine. Like I said, I get how it came off, that’s my bad.”
“Just a miscommunication.” Adora offers, feeling… well, feeling a lot kind of. A long dormant seed of hope stirs.
Catra nods and offers a slight smile. “Something to talk about, I guess.”
Adora fights to keep her own smile a reasonable size. The corners of her mouth twitch, and she can’t tell if Catra notices or not. “Right, sounds good.”
“So, uh, ready then?”
“Yeah,” she says with a nod, “I think we’re good here.”
Catra freezes for a second, and her mouth opens like she doesn’t know what to say, but plans to try anyway. What Adora ends up getting is, “Great. So then. Let’s just hope Mom’s been able to talk Ma out of the live action Grinch.”
“Aw,” Adora pouts theatrically as she follows Catra out of the kitchen, “I like that movie!”
“Of course you do.”
“It’s a classic.”
Catra spins around to smirk at her, walking backwards toward the rocking chair to the left of the loveseat. “Rudolf is a classic.”
“See?” Violets says to her wife, sitting on the arm of the couch to the right of her wife, arms crossed, “At least our daughter turned out right, even with your tasteless influence.”
“That’s incredibly rude, Darling.” C’yra says in an absent tone, not looking up from whatever’s on her phone.
“Tough love, nerd.”
C’yra laughs and looks up at her smirking wife. Catra rolls her eyes and falls into the rocking chair and Adora continues to hover awkwardly. “I’ll show you tough love.”
“Baby,” Violet says, eyes wide, “not in front of the children.”
“Mom!” Catra groans. “That’s so gross, can you please not? It’s one thing to put me through these antics, but Adora didn’t put you through a thousand years of labor.”
“Thirteen hours.” she corrects reflexively. “And twenty nine minutes.”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Thirteen hours?” Adora repeats, shivering at the mere thought.
“And twenty nine minutes.” Violet adds, turning to smile victoriously in Adora’s direction.
“So, she’s always liked to make a dramatic entrance then?” Adora asks with a smirk, crossing her eyes and flicking a look at Catra, who just rolls her eyes and sinks down in her chair.
“Ooh, Kitten.” Violet turns to look at Catra. “She knows you well, huh?”
Catra's eyes are daggers, but she doesn’t unslump. Pointedly she asks, “So, did you two pick a movie, or what?”
“Hm, yes, we negotiated down to the animated Grinch.”
“What your mother means is that she heartlessly crushed my dreams and insulted my taste in everything but women-”
“Alma Nubine notwithstanding.” Violet cuts in.
“Of course,” C’yra says solemnly, winking at her wife, “Not counting Alma.”
“Great!” Catra says over them, leaning forward to snatch the remote off the coffee table. “Amazing, let’s watch.”
Her mothers laugh, and Adora takes the opportunity to make herself comfortable on the recliner chair on the other end of the loveseat. In theory it’s Catra’s, but if she does move out Adora will quite literally pay her for it. Too much, probably; she loves the stupid thing. Once the movie is on, the post brunch drowsiness seems to hit them all at once, and they watch all the way through. Once it’s over, Catra picks Miracle on 34th Street, which Adora thinks is kind of an adorable choice.
Before the parade scene has even come on, however, C’yra brings up gifts and the volume is turned down. Catra and Violet head to the kitchen for a round of warm drinks, and C’yra and Adora stay behind. Before any real time has passed, C’yra strikes up a conversation.
“So, Adora, what does your solstice usually look like? Or would it have had you not gotten snowed in with us hooligans?”
“Well, I’ve celebrated with my friend’s families the last nine years or so. They’ve been together since before I met them, so their parents take turns hosting and everyone gets together.”
C’yra smiles and adjusts on the loveseat. “That sounds nice! Is it a big group then?”
“I mean, by my standards even just them and their parents would be big.” Adora says with a laugh, “But honestly it varies from holiday to holiday. One’s an only child but the other is the youngest of thirteen, so-”
C’yra chokes and stops her. “I’m sorry, did you say thirteen?”
Adora laughs loudly and nods. “Right? George and Lance are saints, I swear.”
“Thirteen kids? I think you’d have to be. I interrupted you though, so do all of the kids come home, or…?”
“I think there’s only been once or twice where all of them made it home, but usually there’s at least a few. And then there’s the token wine aunt and her partner who show up most years.”
“Token wine aunt.” C’yra repeats with a snort, and Adora laughs as well.
“Casta’s great, definitely a little more woo than most of the group, but she does bring a certain magic to these sorts of things.”
“Is it the wine?” she asks with a wink.
Adora laughs again. “Doesn’t hurt, anyway.”
“So, does-”
“My love!” Violet calls from the kitchen.
“Yes, dear?”
“Did you want the rose or the earl grey?”
“Rose please, thanks Vi.”
C’yra turns back to Adora with a slight apology on her face, and Adora does her best to wave off any concern. “So, is this your first year visiting Catra? She usually comes to you, right?”
“It is, yeah. We’ve mentioned it a few other times, but I think she gets homesick.”
“I can see that. She always seems a little more…at ease after she gets back.”
“Aw, my sweet girl.” C’yra coos, glancing back toward the kitchen. She turns back with a conspiratorial smile and says, “Much as that may be the case though, I can tell you she’s always plenty ready to come home by the end of the trip.”
Adora’s brow furrows, not so much confused by what C’yra is saying as she is how she’s saying it. “Wha-”
A mug appears in front of her face, and she looks up to see Catra smirking at her. “Don’t burn your tongue again, dummy.”
Adora crosses her eyes and accepts the cocoa. “Your fault for making it so good.”
“It’s cinnamon.”
“It’s not just that, and I’ll get the secret out of you one of these days.”
Catra just rolls her eyes playfully and walks to her own chair. Violet takes a seat next to the tree and bounces a little in place. “Are we ready?”
There’s a general consensus and she starts doling out gifts. The ones from her and C’yra are obviously on top, and Adora’s touched when she’s handed a gift from that pile as well. There’s a few from Catra to her moms and one for Adora. Catra is also handed her gift from Adora. And then C’yra gets to the last three presents.
She makes a face of intrigue and lifts the stack of boxes, each slightly different in shape, but none bigger than Violet’s hand. She hands her wife’s to her first and says, “From the Solstice Spirit .” Then she moves to Catra and gives her a questioning look, but her daughter isn’t looking at her- or the gift.
She’s staring at Adora, an unreadable expression on her face. Adora wants to hide her hot cheeks, but she refuses to flinch. “Seriously?” Catra asks after too long spent just staring in silence, not taking the gift from her mom.
Adora shrugs. “If that’s what it says…”
Catra scoffs around a smile and rolls her eyes. “Uh huh, and why isn’t there one for you?”
“Guess I was bad this year.”
Catra looks away but laughs and says, “Think it was all those dishes in the bathroom?”
Adora rolls her eyes, but for once isn’t bothered by the dig. “That’s probably what tipped me over the edge, but I think it was mainly all that time I spent stealing candy from babies.”
Catra laughs, and her moms are looking back and forth between them with amusement. “Nah, the babies probably deserved it. Know what didn’t though?”
“Oh boy, here we go.”
“The cast iron you put in the dishwasher.”
“That was one time! I was trying to be helpful.” Adora defends.
“Oh yeah, big help.” Catra volleys back, and Adora works her jaw.
Catra’s moms are right here , she’s sure her roommate isn’t trying to get into it. She’s probably joking, must not realize how shitty Adora still feels about the mistake. She stayed up all night researching those things and how to season it- because apparently that’s a thing people do with their pans now. Then she spent the entire next day before going to work making it right. It never felt like that made them square though- Catra was clearly upset when it happened, and she never really forgave Adora for it. Or at least, that was Adora’s impression.
And so, at a loss of where to go from here, Adora just says, “Shut up and open your presents, Catra.”
And Catra laughs, carefree and easy. “Yeah, yeah.”
All three women open their gifts simultaneously, and Adora’s glad they do it that way and not one at a time. They’ve each been given a variation of the same thing; a pressed violet, small pieces of topaz, and a few flakes of silver all cast in resin. Catra’s comes in the form of a wire wrapped ring, Violet’s is a necklace, and C’yra’s is a pair of earrings. All three look to Adora in just the same moment, a spectrum of emotion across their faces. Adora just barely manages the feat of not looking away.
“Adora, thank you, they’re beautiful.” C’yra says, smiling warmly at her.
Violet nods along. “Yes, thank you.”
Adora waves her hand and just says, “Not me, it says Solstice Spirit, right?”
The women smile knowingly and nod, moving on to new presents. Through the whole exchange, Catra says nothing, watching Adora with a curious expression. When she can take it no more, amidst the wives gushing over gifts they’ve just exchanged between themselves, Adora stands and goes to the kitchen to refresh her full drink.
Catra finds her there; sipping her lukewarm cocoa and staring off into space, leaning against the kitchen counter. “That was really sweet of you.”
Adora looks up, dragging her mind back from the cloud above her head. “Like I said, not-”
“Adora, come on.” Catra says gently. Adora purses her lips and nods. “Thank you, you didn’t have to do that.”
She shrugs. “Wanted to.”
“Well I appreciate it.” A lull settles in, and Adora’s eyes drift to stare vacantly at a random piece of art on the walls. She can feel Catra’s eyes on her. “Did I ever tell you gifts is my love language?”
Adora startles and looks over at Catra. Her face is unreadable, but warm too. “Not that I can think of.”
Catra nods. “And acts of service.”
“Oh, uh, physical touch. For me. I think words of affirmation was a pretty close second. Um. When I…when I took the quiz.”
Catra’s head tips to the side a moment, and then she nods. “Good to know.”
“Is it?” Adora asks, almost startled by the statement.
Catra smirks at her. “When is context ever a bad thing?”
“Right…”
“Should we get back out there?”
Adora nods and so they head back to the living room, where their brief recess goes unacknowledged. She settles back in and then remembers she’s got a couple gifts left. C’yra and Violet gave her a big bundle of thick, warm socks plus a bag of homemade caramels- which Catra assures her will change her life. They do, for the record. After thanking the wives and hugging each in turn, Adora sits back in the recliner to open her gift from Catra. It’s kind of a funny shape and size, squishy too.
She looks up to give Catra a questioning glance, and finds Catra already watching her, a nervous look in her eye and her lower lip caught between her teeth. The sight makes Adora’s heart jump, and she looks down again. Slowly she tears away the tape and pulls the paper back. She’ll probably save it, it’s really gorgeous; blue and silver snowflakes with a glittery background, and shiny or iridescent overlays on some of the snowflakes. All thoughts of saving wrapping paper fly from her head the moment she sees the contents, however.
Absently the paper is cast to the side so Adora can grip either side of the fabric tightly. She can scarcely see the thing through her watering eyes, the pattern between her hands blurring. She blinks the tears free and wipes her face surreptitiously so she can confirm what she’s seen. And indeed, there in her hands is a remarkably accurate replica of a baby blanket she unintentionally left behind in the dead of the night a decade ago.
She looks up. Catra hasn’t moved. “How…” She looks at the blanket again, fingering the tassled ends lightly. It’s clearly handmade. And the similarities really are incredible, put eighteen years of wear and tear on this thing and even she’d have trouble telling it apart from the original.
“Yeah,” Catra says, drawing her attention again. She’s rubbing the back of her neck awkwardly and looking just to the left of Adora’s face as she continues, “I know it’s not the same, the picture you have wasn’t super clear but, uh, I did my best. And I mean, obviously it doesn’t have the same sentimental value as the one your grandma made, but…yeah. Is it…okay?”
Adora furrows her brow and takes a second to process all of that. Then she looks up again to ask, “Are you… Did you make this?” Catra eyes her warily and nods slowly. “I didn’t even know you could knit.”
At this, Catra goes red. Adora’s heart turns over a few times, but fails to start. “Well, uhm, Ma had all the stuff in the attic from her grandma, so.”
Adora’s brows knit more tightly together. “So…? Catra, you didn’t… learn to knit, just for this.”
Impossibly, Catra turns more red. Adora’s never seen her more red. Not even the time she opened the door to find Adora in her boxers and a tank top, smothering a grease fire, with her music blasting throughout the apartment- all the while watching on with three friends behind her and a note from their angry neighbors in her hand.
“Well I…” She glances at her moms who are pretending to be absorbed in looking at the back of the game Catra bought them. “It seemed important to you.”
Adora glances down at the blanket once again and now she can’t feel her knees. “I mean, it was. It is.”
“Right, so… there you go.”
Adora frowns and blinks away more tears, looking back to the blanket. Did I ever tell you my love language is gifts? Catra’s words from the kitchen drift through her mind. And acts of service. She’s so lost, she wasn’t even positive Catra liked her all that much as of this morning. And now this… It’s hopeless, Adora’s gonna pine over this woman directly into spinsterhood.
“I don’t know what to say. I think this must be…” Adora glances at the gift and hugs it to her chest. “This is the single most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received. Thank you, Catra”
Catra shakes her head even as the redness in her cheeks spreads down her neck and she waves Adora off. “It’s no big deal.”
She gives Catra a look but sees the plea to not fuss over it, and so she just nods solemnly and hugs the blankets to her chest again. It smells of Catra’s perfume and just faintly of popcorn. Adora loves it. It’s soft and a bit bigger than the blanket of her childhood- which is good cause, y’know, so is she. She snuggles under it as they transition from gifts to eating cookies and watching C’yra and Violet debate the next movie they’ll watch while Catra eggs them on from her chair.
Eventually they find another old classic cartoon to put on, and everyone settles in. With about a half hour of the movie left, C’yra gets up to start dinner. Adora thinks about offering to help out, but truthfully she’s minutes from drifting off, warm and cozy under her blanket. In fact, she comes to sometime later, still snuggled up on her chair. The movie is over and holiday music plays through the apartment instead. She can hear the family trio bustling around in the kitchen and muffled conversation filtering into the room. And then she hears her name.
It wakes her up a little more, though her eyes still fight against opening properly, and she strains to hear. It sounds like Violet speaking, saying something along time lines of, “...like it meant a lot to her.”
There’s no mistaking Catra’s voice when she replies, just a little louder than her mom, “I guess, yeah.”
“You guess?” It’s C’yra now, laughing as she speaks. Adora hears the fridge open and someone digging around in there. “Sweetie, get real.”
“Whatever, yeah, yes, I’m glad she liked it. Only took fourteen months of my life.” Adora cuddles further under her blanket at Catra’s words, squeezing her eyes shut firmly.
“Aw, our baby is in love.” Violet coos.
Adora freezes. There’s no way. There’s no way that Catra’s- “Shut up, I am not!” See?
“I dunno…” C’yra teases, “that was an awfully heartfelt gift.”
“So?” Catra scoffs. “Just because I give a shit about Adora, doesn’t mean I’m in love with her, alright? And if you two can’t stay chill, I will kick your butts out- snow be damned.”
There’s a knowing hum and the conversation lulls. Adora wonders if it’s time to make her rousing known. Maybe a loud yawn so as to not startle anyone, or let on that she’s been eavesdropping. And then Violet says, “I like her, you know.”
“Yeah, mom, that’s pretty obvious.”
Violet only laughs. “Not as obvious as how much you like her, Kitten.”
“Alright, so mom’s out.” Catra growls. “Ma? You joining the peanut gallery, or are you gonna stay inside where it’s warm?”
“Settle down, Catra, it’s in our DNA to tease you.”
“Sure it is.”
“Mhm, now, are you cutting those carrots or painting a still life of them? Cause time’s a wastin’ over here.” There’s laughter and then someone says something that Adora doesn’t catch, which inspires even more laughter. It feels cozy. Homey. Adora manages to relax again and the next time she wakes up is to Catra rousing her with a ten minute warning for dinner.
Adora sits up and rubs her eyes. “You shoulda woken me sooner.” she mumbles. “I could've helped.”
“Don’t be a dummy, we were fine.”
Too groggy to hide her pouting, Adora mumbles, “I’m not dumb.”
Catra laughs, which puts Adora on edge until she follows that up with, “Obviously. Doesn’t mean you never act like a dummy.”
Adora frowns and looks up at her. The room is dim, casting Catra’s face in the warm glow of holiday lights and candles burning on the coffee table. She looks so pretty, looking at Adora fondly but also like she’s a total goober. “Dunno,” she continues sleepily, “you call me dumb a lot.”
Catra’s face falls and her eyebrows knit together. “I don’t- Is that bad?”
Adora blinks and tips her head to the side. She’s not sure how to answer that. “Do you like being called dumb?”
“I-” Catra looks a little stunned. “I guess it depends who’s saying it. I’m just… I’m not trying to be mean, Adora, I’m just, like, giving you shit for being a goober.”
“Oh.” Adora looks down and rubs her face, processing that.
“Adora?” She looks up to see Catra’s looking troubled. “I think… I mean, yeah, you can be kind of oblivious, but I know that you’re smart. Like, I’ve seen you do a crossword.”
“When?” Adora asks, trying to remember the last time she even did that.
Catra rolls her eyes and smiles. “When I bought a paper a couple months ago, started it, and gave up when I didn’t immediately know all the answers. Then you picked it up and had it done in like…ten minutes.”
“Oh.” Adora blinks and looks down at her lap, fussing with the edges of her blanket. “I didn’t realize. I thought…”
“I- Yeah, that’s my bad. I didn’t mean to, like, offend you. I can stop.”
“Okay…” Adora nods slowly. And then, without any intention of doing so, she adds, “You don’t have to though.”
Catra hesitates and just says, “Something to talk about, I guess.” And then with an exaggerated groan, she pushes up on her knees, standing from her crouch by Adora’s chair. Adora rubs her face once more and stands too. She folds her blanket neatly and sets it on the chair then just…looks at it for a second, still waking up. “Everything good?”
Adora looks up and Catra is watching her, a neutral expression on her face. “I just can’t get over…” Adora trails off and shakes her head, Catra’s expression is now too still to be natural. “Catra, this gift.” Catra starts blinking just a little too much, so Adora does her the decency of looking away, eyes straying back to the blanket. “You had to have known…”
Catra curses under her breath and asks, “I overstepped, didn’t I? I knew I should have, like, asked the sunshine twins or something. You were just so sad when you talked about it and I-”
“You didn’t.” Catra freezes at Adora’s interruption, and Adora looks up once more and shakes her head. “I meant what I said before; this is… I don’t even know, I have no words to-” Adora cuts off and takes a breath. Catra watches her warily, but her posture seems to thaw slowly. “Can I give you a hug?”
Catra thaws entirely, and even manages a small smile before nodding and opening her arms to Adora. She threads her arms around Catra’s waist eagerly and pulls her in tightly. Catra’s arms move more slowly, but come to loop behind Adora’s neck. And when Adora tucks her face into Catra’s neck, she rests her own head on Adora’s. Adora grips a little more tightly, the tips of her fingers digging into the soft, dark green sweater Catra has on. In the end, it’s Catra who starts loosening her hold first.
They step apart and Catra is immediately looking down, clearly uncomfortable. She looks up though, expression open and cheeks a warm pink, when Adora says, “You give good hugs.” It’s not what she means to say. Certainly not what she wants to say. Not that she doesn’t mean it, but….
“Oh.” Catra looks a little taken aback, but not unhappy with the compliment. “Thanks, uh, same. To you. Uh, you too.”
“Right.” Adora suppresses a small smile. “So, dinner?”
“Yep, uh huh, let’s do it.” And she marches on ahead, a lightly chuckling Adora on her heels.
A few hours later, Catra shoves her pie plate away with a deep, satisfied groan. She’s definitely too full, but that’s a problem for post Solstice Catra. For now she just leans back in her chair, arms spread over the back, and fights a wide smile at the sight before her. C’yra and Adora are duking it out in Bananagrams. Catra and Violet finished a couple minutes ago, taking first and second place respectively, but the other two are putting up a fierce fight for bronze.
Catra’s mom steps up beside her and sets down a mug of ginger tea, smiling knowingly when Catra looks up with an abashed expression. Then Violet sets a hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze before smiling pointedly toward the focused pair in front of them. Catra picks up her tea and looks down at it for the duration of a deep breath before taking a drink. She looks up when Adora shouts, “Bananas!”
C’yra groans and slumps in her seat. “All I had left was this stupid J!”
“You could have done Jam right there, ding dong.” Her wife jeers, indicating where C’yra had already played Am.
C’yra looks at it and groans again. “Well shoot. Good game, Adora.”
“Thank you, thank you.” Adora says flipping her hair over her shoulders playfully. Catra laughs and shakes her head.
“So, how are we all feeling? Another game, or…?” Violet looks between the three of them in askance.
“No way.” Catra says. “Y’all do what you want but I’m ready to fall into a deep, pie induced coma.”
The others laugh and there seems to be a general nodding along. “Yes,” C’yra says, standing from the table and pulling her wife to her side, “I’m afraid I have to agree with our spawn here.”
“You can’t call someone who came out of me spawn!” Violet protests with a laugh. “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you-”
“A million, billion times. Yes, of course, silly me. How do I keep forgetting?”
Violet just rolls her eyes and gives Catra and Adora a conspiratorial look. “Alright, well, anything else we need to clean up before turning in?”
The two of them shake their heads and Adora says, “I just need to get the dishwasher started, but everything looks good.”
“Alright then, I think us old broads are gonna brush our teeth and hop to bed then.” A round of goodnights starts then, and Catra’s parents are waved off as they disappear down the hall.
Catra starts gathering pie plates and the last round of glasses, and Adora gets a tab in the dishwasher and starts it. Catra’s just setting the small load of dishes in the sink to be dealt with tomorrow when Adora clears her throat. She turns around and raises an eyebrow. “Yes?”
“So, uh, I’m here.”
Catra’s face immediately scrunches with confusion. “Yes…”
“And, well, I wasn’t supposed to be.”
“Uh huh…”
“And, I mean, I know I offered you my bed while I was gone…”
Catra’s confusion melts away and she rolls her eyes. “It’s fine, Adora, I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed.”
“Oh.” Adora says simply at first, but Catra can see a storm of feeling and overthinking cross her face. “Okay, well…you’re not gonna go back to the living room, are you?”
Catra’s heart freezes, the blood in her veins icier than the wind outside which brings with it another several inches of snow. “I-Well it’s your bed, Adora.”
“Yeah.” Adora says fairly, but clearly not inclined to drop it anytime soon. “We shared last night though, and that went…okay. Right?”
Catra shifts her weight from side to side uneasily. “It was fine, yeah.”
“Okay, so…”
Catra huffs and, seeing no way out that doesn’t utterly expose her, says, “Fine, whatever. If you hog all the covers again though, you’re waking up with snow in your bed.”
She brushes past Adora to leave the kitchen, but not quick enough to miss Adora’s knowing smile. Nor the way she quips back, “That’s okay, I have my new knitted blanket to keep me warm.”
Catra’s heart falters in it’s beating, but her footsteps stay even. She waltzes into the bathroom and shuts the door behind her with a decisive snap. And then, she spends five to ten minutes sitting on the closed toilet, just staring at the wall.
Half an hour after leaving the kitchen, Catra and Adora have both gotten ready for bed and under the covers. They’re laying as far apart as the space allows, facing opposite directions. Catra has her eyes closed, trying fruitlessly to drift off, but Adora is still scrolling through her phone with her side table lamp on low. Every so often she chuckles at whatever she’s reading, and the sleepier Catra gets, the more she just wants to roll over and snuggle into Adora’s side.
This was so not a good idea.
After a while, she hears Adora set down her phone but her lights stay on. Another minute passes, Adora is laying perfectly still and Catra begins to wonder if she’s just planning to leave the lamp on all night. And then she murmurs, “Catra? You still awake?”
Catra rolls over to face her and finds Adora on her side facing Catra, her hands tucked under her head. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to say…thanks. For today.”
Catra’s brow furrows. “What do you mean?”
Adora shrugs as best she can in her current position. “Just…I woke up and saw all the snow and, like, I guess I just wasn’t counting on having a very merry Solstice? But it was nice today. With your moms.” Catra doesn’t think she’s imagining the way Adora’s cheeks flush a light pink during the brief pause before she adds, “And with you.”
“Yeah,” Catra agrees softly, “it was nice.”
“How, uh, how long are your moms planning to hang out? I mean, I know not until the snow eases up but…”
“Their flight is booked for day after tomorrow- Ma has work. Guess we’ll see though.”
“Right.” Adora bites her lip but Catra can tell there’s more brewing.
“What’s going on under that hair poof?”
Adora raises her eyebrows and she can’t quite contain her smile. “My hair is down, Catra.”
“I know that, goober. It’s clearly there in spirit though.”
Adora laughs and nods. “Right, of course.”
“Is there a reason you’re asking?” At Adora’s confused look she clarifies, “About my moms.”
“Oh, uh,” Adora looks down, avoiding Catra’s eyes, “sort of. Doesn’t matter though.”
“No, what?”
Lip caught between her teeth again, Adora looks up and searches Catra’s eyes for something. Then, soft and quiet, she says, “I guess I…I’m just ready to talk.”
“Ah.” Catra nods. “Right, talking.”
“We’re gonna be okay, right?”
Catra swallows at the nerves clear in her roommates voice. She answers honestly, a slight tremble in her own voice, “I hope so.”
The next day, Adora takes a bath after a breakfast of leftovers that consists of more cookies than is truly wise. On her way in Catra can’t help but quip, “Since we just ate, can I assume you aren’t gonna host a banquet in there today?” Adora rolls her eyes, sends a rude gesture Catra’s way, and makes her exit. Catra turns around to find her parents watching her. “What?”
“When’s the wedding?” C’yra says. And when Catra growls immediately, the both of them start cackling. “You’re too easy, kitten.”
“Can you not? Seriously, it’s not…it’s not like that and it’s kind of really annoying to have to keep saying it.”
At this her mothers sober and exchange the look. The same look they’ve been using to communicate silently right in front of Catra her entire life. Violet’s voice is soft and careful when she says, “We’re sorry, Cat. We didn’t realize…”
“It’s fine.” Catra says huffily, effectively communicating just how not fine she is. And so she begrudgingly admits, “We’re kind of in a fight right now.”
“Oh.” Her mothers share another look and Catra can’t help but roll her eyes and cross her arms, slouching in the dining chair she’s been lingering on since finishing breakfast. C’yra is across from her, but Violet made herself busy tidying up the kitchen- despite Adora’s protests.
“Is there anything in particular you two are fighting about?” C’yra asks once the wives decide between themselves who’s gonna start.
Catra shrugs and leans forward, propping her elbows on the table. “Just roommate shit, ya know? I thought it was just…bickering or whatever, but then…” Her parents don’t prompt her when she trails off, and it gives her thoughts a second to settle. She sighs and sits back again. “Adora might not want to sign a new lease with me.”
Violets brows pinch and her lips purse. “That’s not for another few months, right?”
“Like four, end of April.”
“Did it just come up, or…?”
“No.” Catra scoffs. “She brought it up in the middle of a fight, but like, tried to make out like I would be the one who wouldn’t wanna sign. It came out of nowhere.” Another look and Catra groans. “Can you just spit it out? Stars alive.”
“Are you sure it came out of nowhere, Catra?” C’yra asks, looking at her in such a way it makes her feel utterly transparent.
“Yes! Of course it did. I mean, yeah we’ve been fighting, but to jump from bickering over dishes to moving out?”
“Right,” Violet says leadingly, “and your mama and I haven’t gotten the impression Adora is one to act out irrationally.”
“More your forte, kitten.” C’yra teases.
Catra huffs but her lip twitches at the corner with the threat of a smile. “Whatever. No, she’s not, which is why I’m so confused.”
“Well…have you tried talking to her about all this?”
Catra shakes her head. “We’re gonna but, well.”
“Yes?” Violet prompts. Catra gestures at them but they still don’t seem to get it.
“Um, hello? You two are here? Hard to have a heart to heart with my parents just a few feet away.”
“Ah, about that…” Violet looks to C’yra who nods and finishes her thought.
“Your mom wanted to go for a walk in the snow. We figured you wouldn’t be interested in going out in the cold, but thought about walking to that little bakery you keep telling us about.”
“Please don’t,” Catra begs, “don’t do this.”
“Do what?” Violet asks as if stunned by the implied accusation.
“This.” Catra gestures ambiguously. “Try and like, help me out with the girl I like. It didn’t work out in the sixth grade with Mary Ann Wheeler and it’s not gonna work out now.”
“I’m sure we don’t know what you’re talking about, Catra.” Violet sniffs, drying her hands and hanging the towel, then walking to stand by C’yra’s side. “We just wanted to get a nice loaf of bread for dinner.”
“Sure you did. Is there any talking you two out of this cockamamie plan of yours?”
“No, not really.” C’yra answers, smirking up at her wife who reflects the expression at their child.
“Great.” Catra slaps her hands lightly on the table and pushes to stand. “I need more cookies.”
Her moms laugh and join her in a final cookie before scuttling off to get dressed for their walk. By the time Adora emerges from the bathroom, they’re already gone. She walks out, her cheeks a warm flushed pink and the fallen pieces of a sloppy bun drying slowly, and she looks around. Catra is on the rocking chair with a holiday movie on in the background quietly, scrolling through her phone.
“C’yra and Violet around?” Adora asks.
Catra closes out of her google search and stuffs her phone in her pocket, shaking her head. “They wanted to go for a snow walk apparently.”
“Aw, that’s kinda romantic.”
“Nah, I’m sure they’re up to something nefarious.”
That gets her a bark of laughter and Adora falls into the recliner. “So suspicious.”
“Of those two?” Catra jokes back with a laugh. “Always.”
Adora chuckles and nods. “So, what are you up to?”
Catra shrugs and her eyes dart down. She smoothes her fingers over the woodgrain in the arm of her chair. “Just kinda hanging out.”
“Watching something?”
A sigh and Catra looks up. Adora’s leaned over to grab the remote and is looking at the info for the movie that’s playing. Catra hadn’t even done that. “Hey Adora?”
She looks over with a smile that dampens when she sees Catra’s face. “What’s up?”
“Well, they’re probably gonna be a while. Said they might go to the cafe for a drink, um, the one on Mystacore? Anyway, I uh, I dunno if you wanted to wait till they were gone gone. To talk. Like, for us to talk I mean. But uh, we have some time, so-”
“Catra?” She takes a deep breath and meets Adora’s eye. Her smile is soft and amused and Catra’s face feels hot under it.
“Yeah?”
“It’s cool, we can talk now.”
“Right, cool. Talking.” They kind of sit there for a minute, neither opening their mouth to speak, until finally Catra can take it no more. “I don’t really know where to start.”
Adora nods. “Yeah, me neither really.”
“It uh, it really…bothered me. That you brought up moving out. Or not signing a new lease, whatever.”
Adora bites her lip and nods. “Honestly, Catra, with the way things have been going, I’m surprised you didn’t think of it first.”
Irritation spikes in Catra’s chest and she wills it back with effort. “Okay, well I think maybe you and I have different perspectives on how things have been going.”
“Do you really think it’s going well?” Adora asks, an eyebrow raised.
Catra can’t hold back a huff. “Obviously not, but seriously? Do you know how hard it is to find a roommate who’s even halfway decent? You might be a mess, but you don’t break or steal shit. You’re generally courteous, as are your friends. Like, no it’s clearly not perfect, but is it really so bad you wanna roll the dice with some new rando?”
“Okay, well one, I never said I didn’t want to live with you anymore, Catra. I said I thought you -”
“That’s such a cop out.” Catra interrupts, crossing her legs and sitting sideways on her chair to face Adora better. “I already said I don’t want that, so stop making it about me, when you’re the one who brought it up in the first place.”
“Because it seems like you hate me!” Adora bursts. “Catra, you nitpick everything I do, pick fights several times a week, and I swear on the stars, if you call me a heathen one more time…!”
“Hate you? Adora, you’re an idiot, I swear. I-”
“Stop calling me names!”
“I’m not-” Catra sighs and rubs her hands briskly over her face. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”
A little more gently Adora says, “Look, I know you said earlier it’s not always… I know you don’t intend it to be mean, but not while we’re fighting, okay?”
Catra looks up eagerly. “Yeah, totally fair. I really am sorry, it’s just-”
“I know.” Adora smirks a little, the expression tentative and kind. “Seeing you with your moms cleared some things up honestly.”
She laughs and nods. “Yeah, well. My sense of humor didn’t come from nowhere, I guess.”
“Guess not.”
Adora’s expression is still soft, but Catra’s heart clenches remembering where they’d gotten side tracked from. “Look, Adora, I don’t hate you. Kinda the opposite. I just…I know I’m on your case a lot, but I also get frustrated because I feel like I shouldn’t have to be. And I think- I mean, well, do you think it might be partially the name calling making it feel worse?”
With a sigh and a nod Adora says, “Yeah, probably.”
“And I know I can be…dramatic. Sometimes. I don’t think you’re some filthy heathen, I just want to be able to get ready in the morning without working around, like, three cups, two mugs, and a stack of plates, you know?”
“Yeah,” Adora sighs again, “I get it. I’m sorry, I know it bugs you. I’m just usually so pooped by the time I get home, eat, and take a bath. I forget how opposite our schedules are sometimes.”
Catra shrugs. “I could probably hold a little more space for how tired you must be after a bar shift. And look, I don’t care if they actually get cleaned, just set them in the kitchen maybe?”
“I can do that.”
“Okay, so…is that it? I’ll stop calling you names, you try and be a little tidier?”
“Uh, with the names?”
“Yeah?”
“I know I said just not while we’re fighting but…heathen.” Catra nods. “You can’t…that one’s got some baggage, okay?”
“Your mom.” Catra breathes the realization aloud. Adora grimaces and nods. “Adora, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think…”
“It’s fine.”
“You sure? Cause I feel kinda rotten, honestly.”
“I just…can we not dwell on it?”
“Yeah, totally.” Catra nods, getting that sentiment plenty well. “So, uh…”
Adora frowns and looks down, and Catra’s heart skips while she waits for her to speak. Finally she looks up, frown still firmly in place, and asks, “Catra, are we friends?”
It feels like yes should be the reflex answer, but… “I’m not sure.”
“Why don’t we… Why is that?”
Catra swallows and looks away to gather herself a moment, but she meets Adora’s eye to say, “I don’t know, Adora. I thought we were gonna be, when we first moved in. We hung out and…” She trails off with a shrug. “I wasn’t sure if you got busy or if you were just blowing me off, but suddenly I never saw you. Then we started bickering and, well, next thing I know you’re bringing up the lease.”
There’s no missing the way Adora’s cheeks turn bright red, and it makes discomfort and shame fill Catra’s gut, hot and burning like acid brought to a rolling boil. She knows why Adora started keeping her distance, she’s always known; Catra tried to kiss her, and Adora didn’t want her to. It just stung that they couldn’t move past it like adults. It stung even more that in every other way, Adora continued being perfect and lovable.
“Well I-I mean,” Adora starts, stuttering and awkward, “I didn’t want- and you seemed- I didn’t mean it to be permanent.” Catra narrows her eyes at that incomplete thought, but Adora’s still going. “And then you were just being so mean and I-I thought you didn’t want to be my friend.”
“What? All because I called you a few names- which you never mentioned bothering you by the way.”
“Well no, not just that.”
“What else?” Catra asks warily, not really looking forward to hearing even more ways she’s messed up.
“I guess just, like, the way you talk to me? You sound so bitter sometimes, like you can just barely stand the sight of me or something. It just…” She takes a deep breath and finishes, “It just stings, I guess.”
“I can’t not stand the sight of you, Adora. I don’t really know…I don’t mean to be that way. And I guess I just keep wondering why you never said anything. You always seem fine when we get into it- like, after cooling off and all. ”
“Well yeah, I wasn’t sure if you hated my guts, I didn’t really want you to see me crying every other day.”
“Crying?” Catra’s voice breaks on the word. “I made you…please tell me that’s a hyperbole.”
“I mean…the every other day part is.”
“Adora.” Catra is crushed. “I never meant to- seriously, why did you never say something?”
“I wasn’t sure you’d care, Catra.”
“Wasn’t sure I’d-” Catra stands and blinks away tears of her own. “I’m gonna grab a glass of water. I just- I need a second.”
And with that she hurries into the kitchen to regroup, leaving a lost looking Adora behind her.
Catra stays in the kitchen far longer than Adora expects. She thinks about going after her, but it was pretty clear she needed a timeout. She also thinks about calling Bow, but it’s the day after Solstice and she’s sure they’re still having family time- not that Bow would think to fault her but…. And so she waits. And waits. Her foot shakes restlessly and she eyes the clock on the wall so hard she thinks she actually hears it sigh. After twenty minutes, Catra finally emerges.
She looks just as upset as when she left, so Adora’s not sure what took her so long, but that feels kinda mean to think. Catra surprises her, coming to sit on the end of the loveseat closest to Adora. At first she doesn’t look at her, staring instead at the coffee table and taking deep breaths. And then she turns.
“Look, I was kind of hoping we’d never have to address this directly, but I don’t think that’s an option anymore.” Adora notices her eyes are red and her nose is chapped. It makes her feel shitty on top of Catra’s words which spike her anxiety to an all time high. “I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable that night, okay? And if I’m honest, yeah, it didn’t feel great when you avoided me after. So maybe I was kinda extra short with you for a while. And that’s really shitty, and I’m sorry.”
Adora blinks, repeating the words back to see if they make sense. They do not. “Huh?”
Catra huffs and looks briefly toward the heavens. “I’m sorry for being short with you when you started avoiding me. I understand why you did it, and even if it hurt, that didn’t give me the right to be rude to you.”
Adora’s face feels hot at having Catra say she ‘gets’ why she avoided her. She might as well just say, ‘I know you have a crush on me, dummy’ and call it a day. “I mean, I appreciate that, but I feel like I should be the one apologizing for that situation. I should have realized the first time what you were trying to tell me, I’m sure that made you uncomfortable. I didn’t realize- I thought you’d want space after the fact, I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.”
By the end of the apology, Catra’s head is tilting to the side and she’s looking at Adora like she did that crossword a couple months back. Before getting sick of it and threatening to burn it with hellfire, to be clear. “Why would you be the one to apologize? You had every right, Adora. I should have asked in the first place.”
Adora’s brain halts so quick, her thoughts practically crash together like a five car pile up. “I- What are… Huh?” Catra huffs impatiently and Adora shakes her head. “I don’t-I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing anymore.”
That puts a pause on Catra’s frustration. “Oh. What are you talking about?”
Face hot at the question, Adora’s feeling less than eager to voice her side. “I mean, you’re the one who wanted to address…whatever it is you wanted to address. What are you talking about?”
Catra works her jaw into a stubborn set and after a long pause, says, “I’m talking about how I tried to kiss you, and made you so uncomfortable around me that you avoided me for weeks on end. And then, y’know, cause I’m a big baby who can’t handle rejection I was a total ass to you and made you cry.”
And would you look at that, now it’s a ten car pile up. Adora’s officially malfunctioning, eyes opening wide and heart flatlining. “That’s not- You don’t- I- And you- I’m- Huh? ”
Catra is red now, and she looks ready to tear out her own hair. “Seriously? Come on, Adora. I get that I was the jerk here, but I would really like to move on.”
“No.” Adora shakes her head and Catra looks totally taken aback. “No, because I’m the one who… You left!”
“What are you talking-”
“I leaned in, and you made excuses and went to bed!”
“What? Adora, what are-”
“And it happened like three times, so I finally figured I’d been misreading the cues and throwing myself at you like a total dirtbag.”
“What?” Catra’s voice reaches a pitch Adora wasn’t aware it could.
“So I gave you some space because I didn’t want you to think I was being, like, totally predatory or something.” Catra doesn’t respond to that one, so Adora keeps spilling. “And then you started being short and stuff, and I thought it was because I pissed you off. Not because- because you-”
“I’m sorry,” Catra finally manages in a strangled voice, “are you telling me that- that we both wanted to kiss each other, like, eleven months ago? And have been at it ever since for- well not for no reason, but I- Wait! I’m sorry, I was making you cry regularly and you still-” Catra’s face freezes and Adora’s heart follows suit. “Oh.” She says, voice suddenly small, “But you probably… don’t, not now, right?”
“Don’t what? Don’t have feelings for you?”
“Well yeah.” Catra scoffs and leans away, into the back of the couch, her arms crossing over her chest. “Like you said, I’ve been making you cry practically every other day, and you evidently just thought I wouldn’t care, so I can’t imagine-”
“Okay, not practically every other day. I told you that was a-”
“How could you think that?” Out of nowhere a tear is tracking down Catra’s cheek, and Adora’s got whiplash.
“Think what?”
“That I wouldn’t care.” Catra spits harshly. Adora’s stomach sinks all the way down through the floor. “Like seriously, is that what you think of me? Have I actually been that awful? Because if that’s the case, I can’t imagine why you would want to live with me come spring. LEt alone have feeling for me in any way!”
“Catra, no.” Adora rushes to assure her, but when she reaches out Catra recoils and her hands are left hovering awkwardly until she lays them on her lap. “I’m sorry, that’s not exactly what I meant.”
“Well then what did you mean?” she asks, voice steely.
Adora groans and runs a hand through her hair. “I guess I- I felt silly getting so upset over roommate squabbles. I thought if I told you I was crying over it, you might not take it seriously?” Catra opens her mouth to speak but Adora shakes her head. “I feel like I’m still not-” She takes a breath to reset. “Look, me getting so upset- I mean yeah, you hurt my feelings calling me names and stuff, but we’ve cleared the air on that, right?”
“I guess.” Catra says begrudgingly.
“And mostly it was just… I dunno, it kind of sucks to have the girl you like tell you you’re a filthy heathen three times a week, you know? When I say I thought you wouldn’t care…Catra, it was just easy to tell myself. I didn’t want to tell you I was crying when half the reason I was crying was because I had feelings for someone I was pretty sure didn’t want me, and wasn’t even convinced liked me on just, like, a platonic level.”
“Oh.” Catra looks so small, sitting on their sofa, scrubbing away her tears.
“So uh, do you…do you still, um, y’know. Like, for me.”
Catra rolls her eyes and looks away. “What, you think I learn to knit for all my roommates?” Adora lets a grin loose and when Catra turns and sees it, she narrows her eyes. “Shut up, Adora.”
“Gifts and acts of service, huh?”
“Okay, what did I just say?”
Adora smirks harder. “You know, I thought when you took on all the grocery shopping it was a control thing.”
“It was, you’re like a four year old with a limitless budget in a grocery store.”
The dig does nothing to dampen Adora’s spirit. “And you always bring me something, huh?”
“What, like groceries?” Catra snaps, the facade holding up pretty terribly now that Adora is onto her.
“That too, but like a treat.”
“A treat? What are you, my pet labradoodle or something?”
“Why a labradoodle?”
“It’s a vibe, and also not the point.”
“Right, so true. Last time you got me that kombucha I mentioned liking, like, months ago.”
“I have a photographic memory, Adora. So I remembered some drink you like, big whoop.”
“Last time I had my period…were you actually over by that bakery?”
“Yes, I told you, my bank is over there.”
“Catra, there’s Etherian Credit Unions all over the place.”
“Yeah, but the only teller I like works at that one.”
“You don’t even talk to the tellers! You’ve told me nothing worth doing can’t be done at an ATM.”
“Why do you even remember that?”
Over the course of their back and forth, Adora realizes they’ve leaned closer and closer, now each on the edge of their respective seats. “Do you actually have a photographic memory?”
“If I did do you really think I’d work a service job?”
“I mean, you work with Entrapta. Isn’t she a member of MENSA?”
“Yeah, but she’s a total weirdo. And she also has, like, some white collar job she never talks about.”
“Weird.” Adora says, scooting a little closer.
“Super weird.” Catra doesn’t move back.
“Hey Catra?”
“So, words of affirmation and physical touch, huh?”
Adora’s breath comes shallow. “Uh huh.”
“That why you get so bent out of shape when I call you a dummy?”
“Something like that.” Adora murmurs, eyes drifting down to Catra’s lips. When they quirk up into a smirk, she can tell Catra notices.
“And if I told you I only use it affectionately?”
“Frames a whole lot of our interactions in a new light.” Catra chuckles, the sound reverberating low in her chest. Adora swallows thickly. “So, uh, why didn’t we kiss that night then?”
With a shrug, Catra says, “Beats me, I thought you pulled away, you thought I pulled away.”
“I’m not pulling away now.” Adora’s eyes flick to Catra’s lips again, and when she looks up, Catra’s eyes are molten.
“I-”
“Hello ladies! We brought coffee.” Adora turns and smiles tightly at Violet and C’yra who are stomping snow off their boots in the hall and shedding their layers.
“Welcome back.”
“Now can you leave again?” Catra calls from behind her with a groan.
“We missed you too, kitten.” Violet says placatingly, coming up to set a cup in her hand and a kiss on her head.
Catra doesn’t respond to her mom, choosing instead to look over at Adora with those dark eyes and mouth the word, ‘later’. And indeed, it ends up being much later. There’s no more snow in the forecast and the main roads are clear, so now the city is getting to more of the side streets. With every indication their flight will go out on schedule, C’yra and Violet are eager to shower Catra in affection in their remaining time. It’s sweet, and also really damn frustrating.
They play games, watch a movie, eat their weight in leftovers, and laugh over more childhood anecdotes that come at Catra’s expense. It’s a really nice day, but by the time it’s over, Adora is done. Brushing her teeth while Catra brushes beside her, making eyes at her in the mirror, feels like it takes an eternity. The three rounds of goodnights Catra’s parents come through for wear her patience as thin as it can get before she snaps. By the time they make it to her room for bed, Adora is well and truly at her wit’s end.
And then the moment of truth comes, and she just stands there. Catra is just in front of the door, having closed it behind them, and Adora landed somewhere near the foot of the bed. There’s just feet between them, they have hours of privacy ahead of them that start now, and Adora can’t move.
“So.”
Catra chuckles, smirking lightly, and nods. “So.”
“You like me.”
“I do.”
Adora grins shyly at the confirmation. “And I like you.”
“Lucky me.” Catra says, a touch more warmth in her expression.
“We’re terrible communicators.”
“Something to work on.”
“We almost kissed.”
“A few times the way you tell it.”
Adora laughs and nods. “A few times, yeah.”
“We fought for like a year.” Catra says, a little more somber.
Taking a couple steps forward, Adora reaches out to take one of Catra’s hands in both of hers and she plays with her fingers. Catra watches with her mouth hung ever so slightly open. “And we finally talked it out.”
“Adora?” Catra twists her hand to lace her fingers through Adora’s, and she lets the other hand drop.
“Uh huh.”
“May I…?”
“Please.”
And just like that Catra holds her hand a little tighter, cups her jaw in her other hand, and presses her lips to Adora’s; sealing a kiss that’s over a year in the making. At first it’s sweet, tender and bruising, and then it gets salty. Adora pulls back to see tears on Catra’s cheeks. She uses the hand that had found its way to Catra’s hip to wipe them away. “You good?”
She nods and pulls the hand on Adora’s jaw back toward herself to wipe her own face after Adora is through. “Adora, I love you.”
Adora laughs, the sound giddy and surprised. She isn’t though, somehow she isn’t. Or maybe it’s not that surprising, they just talked that afternoon about the ways Catra’s been speaking her love languages without uttering a word. “I love you too.”
Catra laughs as well and shakes her head. “I’m gonna make the last year up to you, okay?”
“Okay.” Adora nods, no intention of holding her to that. “Wanna start by being my big spoon?”
Another laugh. “Seems like that’s something I’d be doing for me, but if it makes you happy too…”
“Great!” Adora pulls her forward and they climb under the covers. Despite her request they lie face to face for a while, grinning like fools and staring at one another for what feels like hours, exchanging the occasional kiss.
After a while however, Adora’s eyes grow heavy and her smile starts to droop with her exhaustion. It’s around then that Catra chuckles, gives her one last peck, and murmurs, “Roll over and go to sleepy, dummy. You can stare at me more tomorrow.”
Adora’s smile is renewed and she follows directions but mumbles back, “Promise.”
“Yeah,” Catra says, voice soft and sleepy, “I promise.
And with that assurance Adora finds it easy to drift off for the best night’s sleep she’s had in a long while.
363 days later…
This is the second year in a row that Adora has spent not with her chosen family for Solstice. At least, not the family she chose all those many moons ago. Standing in the doorway of Catra’s childhood bedroom with her moms downstairs fussing over lunch however, she definitely feels the Solstice spirit alive and well. She feels like she’s with another side of her family. And that feeling is reinforced when Catra turns away from the bed to smirk at her.
“What? In awe of my Wasted Crimsons poster or something?” Adora laughs, casting the poster of one of the biggest bands of their youth a passing glance.
She shrugs. “I was more of a Star Siblings girl.”
Catra rolls her eyes at the name of the pop trio as if, after hours spent listening to their discography in Adora’s car, she hadn’t added several of the group’s tracks to her own playlists. “Of course you were.”
Adora laughs again and abandons her duffel bag by the door to step forward and wrap her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. Catra doesn’t have her full attention though, and she continues her survey of the room. Finally she looks back down to see Catra grinning nervously up at her. So she winks and says, “Thanks for bringing me home this year.”
Catra shrugs in a way that fails to come off as indifferent. “Ma never woulda let me hear the end of it, so. Just trying to keep her off my back.”
Used to her girlfriend's unfriendly means of showing affection, Adora rolls her eyes to show how seriously she’s taking her and leans in to kiss her cheek. “Well whatever the reason,” she says, pulling back, “I’m glad to be here with you.”
Catra smiles again and tucks a stray hair behind her ear. “Not missing ‘the fam’ too much?”
“Nah, they got us for harvest. And Glimmer’s birthday, which is really the biggest celebration of the three.”
That gets her a loud belly laugh and a playful shove at her shoulder. Still Catra admits, “You’re not wrong.”
“Can you believe there’s gonna be a baby next year?”
Making a face, Catra says, “Definitely not. We’re not spending the holiday with your side next year either, right? I hear babies cry.”
“Wow, babies cry?” Adora verifies with mock disbelief. She knows better than to believe for a second that Catra’s not well aware that even last year’s storm couldn’t keep Adora from Glimmer and Bow’s baby once they’re born. Especially on their first Solstice.
“Yep.” Catra quips. “All the time.”
“All the time? Wow, that’s gonna be really annoying when there’s one in our house, huh?” Adora doesn’t really realize what she’s said until Catra freezes in her arms. She sighs and starts, “Catra, I was just-”
“How many?”
Adora raises her eyebrows. “Babe, I meant like Bow and Glimmer’s kids. I know you’re not sure-”
“How many would you want?” Catra pushes. Her expression is hard to read. She looks…maybe a little freaked out? Not upset though, and definitely not like she’s teasing.
“I dunno, I feel like one and see how it goes, right? I kinda always wished I had a sibling though, so maybe two.”
Catra’s shoulders fall away from her ears, about half the tension gone. “Just two?”
“I- yeah, I guess. Is this- Are we really talking about this right now?”
“I don’t know. No? You just said-”
“I was kidding, and like I was trying to say, I know you’re not sure if that’s something you want.”
“I think I could.” Catra says earnestly, looking up at her. “With you.”
Adora’s heart melts and she draws Catra a little closer. “Yeah?”
“Not for, like, a long time.” she cautions, but Adora’s budding excitement refuses to be stayed.
“Totally fair.”
“Like, thirty five. Maybe.”
“Only six years?”
“You wanna make it ten?” Catra asks, lifting a single brow.
“Hey.”
Already over whatever Adora’s got to say, Catra huffs out an impatient, “What?”
“I’m glad you’re my family.”
Whatever preconceived notions she had of what Adora was going to say clearly proved wrong, Catra softens and cuddles closer. “Yeah, me too.”
“What if…what if we lived together again? When our leases are up?”
Catra pulls back, clearly surprised. After all, it was Adora’s idea that they should live separately in the end. Not because things hadn’t gotten better, because they had, but living together for the first four months of their relationship put some amount of undue pressure on. Especially since there were still some things to work out, most especially communication to improve upon, when the dust settled after last Winter Solstice.
“It’s only been eight months.” Catra answers warily.
Adora shrugs. “And if you’re not ready, that’s okay. Honestly though, after the first six, I dunno. I guess I felt like that gave us the reset we needed, ya know? And at this point you spend more nights at my apartment than your own.”
“Only-”
“Babe, I love you, but I think we both know it’s not because your roommate makes stinky food every night.”
“They burn food practically every night.” Catra corrects. “I swear everything in that place smells like charcoal. Plus, your bed is better.”
“Great, so let's throw yours out and it can be our bed.”
Catra purses her lips but the smile beneath it is clear. “I can be kind of nitpicky about tidiness.”
“I’m sure you have nothing on my last roommate. She was on me practically twenty-four seven. About that stuff, I mean.”
“Wow, sounds relentless.” Catra answers with a knowing smirk.
“You have no idea.”
“I leave my hair on the shower wall.”
“Huh, so funny, my girlfriend does that too. Usually in my shower. Which is basically the only one she uses at this point.”
Catra laughs and nods. “Okay, okay, I’ll think about it.”
“Yeah?” Adora asks, already excited.
“Yeah, dummy. I want to but…just let me sleep on it.”
“Course, we’ve got months to decide.” The sentiment is sealed with a kiss that starts where they’re standing and ends minutes later on Catra’s childhood bed. It’s small, and Adora is looking forward to trying to get both of them fit comfortably on a twin sized mattress. She senses a lot of snuggling in her immediate future. The thought makes her smile as she sits up a few minutes later, legs hanging over the edge of the bed.
Catra pops up next to her and smiles knowingly. “What are you so happy about?”
Adora laughs and shakes her head. “Why wouldn’t I be happy?”
“Excellent point, you are here with me after all.” Her words are smug, but her cheeks are dusted a rosey pink.
With a fond roll of her eyes, Adora leans in to press a kiss to her cheek. “So true, babe.”
“Uh huh.” Catra drawls, propping herself back on her arms. “You ready to head down?”
Falling back with a sigh, Adora hums out, “We probably should, see if your ma needs help with dinner.”
It takes no time at all for Catra to rejoin her in a horizontal position, curling up on Adora’s chest and bringing her legs up onto the bed. Adora accommodates her with an arm slung around her shoulder, the other tucking behind her own head. Once she’s settled, Catra murmurs, “Like she’d let us help. ‘Sides, I’m sleepy. Jet lag.”
“Catra.” Adora laughs, jostling Catra’s head much to her clear displeasure. “We’re an hour ahead. Like one hour.”
“Shut up and cuddle me, you big lug.”
Adora chuckles again but pulls her girlfriend a little closer and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Catra hums contentedly and burrows into her chest, completely melting Adora’s heart. A vulnerable Catra is really something else. Typically her affection is still coated in a layer of plausible deniability; a quip on her way out the door, a teasing name thrown in after a sweet sentiment, the last word had- always . But sometimes… sometimes she’s just completely, unapologetically sweet. And every time it’s enough to bring Adora to her knee.
“Stop thinking so hard.” Catra grumbles, startling Adora out of her wandering thoughts.
“I’m not thinking!” Adora defends with a laugh.
Catra lifts her head to shoot her a sleepy smirk at that. “That’s not the infallible defense you think it is.”
“Shut up, you know what I meant.”
Grumbling halfheartedly, Catra settles back into her spot. “Just… be in the moment with me for like, five minutes, would you?”
“Aw, you want me to be in the moment with you, babe?”
“Oh, yeah, big surprise,” she grouses, “I want the woman I love to spend five whole minutes out of her head while I get cuddled. Better alert the media.”
“Ya know, babe, you can just admit you like me.”
Again Catra pushes herself up, looking even less happy to be doing so than she was the first time. Then she catches Adora’s eye and softens. “I like you so much it’s stupid, Adora.”
“Embarrassing.” Adora teases.
Instead of taking the out, she says softly, “I mean it though. I love you.”
Voice taking on a similarly tender quality, Adora answers back, “I love you too, Catra.”
“It's strange, having you here.”
“Hmm, good strange?”
A squeeze and Catra just answers, “Duh.” Then she goes on to say, her voice nearly a whisper now, “I used to think the last thing I’d ever want was a life like my parents’. Settling down, buying a house, kids.”
“And now?”
She shrugs. “I mean, you’re still not gonna catch me in the suburbs but, other than that, sounds kind of nice. Doesn’t it?”
Another kiss on her head, a smile so large it’s not worth trying to contain it, and Adora says, “I’m not sure I ever see you off all people ‘settling down’, but-” She cuts herself off with a yelp when Catra pinches her side. “Hey!”
“You know what I mean, dummy.”
“I know.” Adra says, looking down to make a face and getting a tongue stuck out at her in return. Lying back, she says, “Which is why I was saying; but yeah, that sounds dreamy. Sure you’re not gonna mind a house with clothes strewn all about though?”
Catra scoffs, “If you’re okay with being reminded that your turning our home into a heathen’s den on a regular basis, go for it, babe.”
“Our home.” Adora repeats. “Sounds nice.”
“You know we already had a home together, right?” Adora pinches Catra’s side at the quip and gets her arm smacked along with the yelp she earns.
“It was yours, and it was mine, but it was never really ours. You know?”
“At the end,” Catra argues, “we were together there for like four months.”
“Well yeah, but still. I mean, we kept separate rooms even. And, I dunno, just like, the intention we went in with was totally different.”
“We were strangers.”
“But we’re not now.”
“Hm, no, I’d say we’re very well acquainted now.”
Adora laughs. “Have I mentioned that I love you?”
“Once or twice.” Cata says with a smile in her voice.
“And that I’m so happy to be here with you?”
“That too.”
“Ooh, and did I tell you I’m so glad I get to celebrate holidays with you?”
“Yep.”
“And build a life with you?”
“Pretty sure you mentioned it.”
“Wha-”
“Adora!” Catra gives her a squeeze, cutting her off with a laugh. “Seriously, you are the chattiest pillow I have ever come across.”
“Okay, okay, I’ll let you nap.” Adora concedes, her smile wider than ever. “Just one more thing though?”
“Sure,” Catra chuckles, “go for it.”
“Did I tell you happy Solstice yet?”
Catra’s face nuzzles into Adora’s chest, and she can practically feel her smile through the cotton of her shirt. “Solstice isn’t until tomorrow. Now let me take my power nap and you can barrage me with your nonsense when I’m over the jet lag.”
“Course, my love, sweet dreams.”
“Uh huh, sweet dreams, dummy.” It doesn’t take Catra long to drift off after that, but Adora stays awake.
She lies there on her back, staring at elaborate constellations of glow in the dark stars- likely placed there by a younger version of the woman in her arms. Catra, who makes her feel so excited about the future. Catra, who has her wondering what they’ll be doing for holidays five or six years down the road, or in ten years, or twenty. Eventually her eyes drift shut, and behind her eyelids visions of possibilities play out. In each one Catra is beside her, and Adora is happy.