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Hua Cheng was in the middle of dragging an unconscious Quan Yizhen to the corner of Puqi Shrine when it happened: He felt his soul rattle in his chest before plummeting to the tips of his toes. And then, he was no longer present in his own body.
“Oh, San Lang,” Xie Lian sighed from the kitchen, examining a pot of lumpy waterfowl raspberry stew. “I have told him time and time again not to eat the Incorruptible Chastity Meatballs, but for some reason, he keeps doing so. Perhaps he enjoys the sensation of fainting…?”
“...”
Xie Lian turned to face Hua Cheng when he heard no response from his beloved on the other side of the room.
“...San Lang?” Xie Lian prompted quietly.
Hua Cheng was hunched over Quan Yizhen, poking and prodding the unconscious god. He made loud noises of discontent and disapproval as he surveyed Quan Yizhen, clearly disappointed by what he was seeing.
“Is everything all right, San Lang?” Xie Lian asked.
“Ah, Daozhang!” cried Hua Cheng. “This one emanates no resentful energy. He is still alive. You haven’t killed him properly!”
Wei Wuxian was in the middle of cooking the spiciest, juiciest pheasant for Lan Qiren (nevermind that killing was forbidden in the Cloud Recesses), while drinking a new brand of wine, when it happened: The spatula he was holding plopped to the ground as Wei Wuxian felt his soul crumbling out of his body as it stampeded into a new, unfamiliar one.
Lan Wangji’s eyes, just recently glimmering in fondness as he watched Wei Wuxian cook, was consumed by a fiery presence as he felt the air shift around him. The thunder rolled outside before the blood rain came hurtling towards them. Both swiftly dissipated.
“Wei…Ying?” Lan Wangji murmured.
Wei Wuxian turned and there was no longer the mischief that Lan Wangji was so accustomed to dancing in Wei Wuxian’s eyes. There was only boldness and as Lan Wangji inspected more thoroughly, was that annoyance, targeted at him?
“There is too much spice in this dish,” said the man, pointing at Wei Wuxian’s concoction growling on the stovetop. “Gege’s cooking is infinitely better.”
Xie Lian was used to a lot of strange things happening to him. After all, his luck was, to put it kindly, not very good, and his husband happened to be the Ghost King who ruled Ghost City. There were plenty of reasons why odd occurrences slipped their way into Xie Lian’s daily life and he even welcomed it; after all, he would be living for the rest of eternity, so why not enjoy the frivolity of the mischief when it presented itself? But he hadn’t expected anything to occur to his husband, the man with the greatest luck of anyone he knew. He frowned slightly as he stepped closer to the person dwelling inside Hua Cheng’s body.
“Good evening,” Xie Lian smiled. He reached up to his chest to clutch at the diamond ring nestled there. “Please give me back my San Lang.”
The man looked down at Xie Lian and grinned. “Wow! I didn’t realize how much I missed being tall until now. Mo Xuanyu is shorter than Lan Zhan, you see.”
Xie Lian squinted up at the person who had stolen Hua Cheng’s body and tugged at his own ears to hear better. He hadn’t understood a thing the stranger had just said to him. Nonetheless, though this guest was very odd, a guest was a guest and Xie Lian’s upbringing as the Crown Prince of Xian Le was still deeply engraved into his consciousness. He cleared his throat and responded, “Hello, I’m Xie Lian. Welcome to San Lang's and my humble abode, Puqi Shrine.”
“Hello to you too, Daozhang!” The man chirped in Hua Cheng’s deep, rumbling voice. Xie Lian squinted again; this was rather unsettling–he had never heard San Lang sound like that before. The person in Hua Cheng’s body bent down to look directly at Xie Lian and Xie Lian found himself gawking at his husband’s handsome face, a light blush inking his cheeks. “I’m Wei Wuxian, husband to Lan Zhan and father to Lan Sizhui.”
Xie Lian nodded in welcome. “While it is very nice to meet you, Wei Wuxian, husband to Lan Zhan and father to Lan Sizhui, I must insist that you give me my husband back.”
Wei Wuxian shook his head sadly. “I’m afraid I don’t know how to return your husband to you.”
Xie Lian widened his eyes at Wei Wuxian and frowned glumly, slumping his shoulders. For some reason, Wei Wuxian wanted to hug the little man and cursed himself for upsetting him. “Don’t be sad, Daozhang. I’m sure we’ll find him. Logically speaking, if I am in his body, he may be in mine…but it gets a little complicated. My soul was originally residing in Mo Xuanyu’s body before entering your San Lang’s.”
A tired sigh escaped Xie Lian as he mumbled, “You better start from the beginning then. What exactly happened to your body?”
By the end of Wei Wuxian’s story, Xie Lian’s tears had soaked up all the handkerchiefs in Puqi Shrine. “I’m-I’m so, so glad that you finally got a happy ending, Wei-gongzi!” Xie Lian wailed, blowing his nose into another very wet handkerchief. “Lan Zhan had unremitting hope that you would come back and he waited for you for so long. If that is not true love, then I really don’t know what is! What a touching love story!” Wei Wuxian patted Xie Lian on the head tentatively and smiled. What a kind man, he thought. I think that Lan Zhan will like him.
“Your story was indeed deeply touching, gongzi,” grunted a voice from behind the small table that Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian were sitting at. Wei Wuxian yelped and bounced out of his seat. A curly haired youth with ebony black hair was crouched like a praying mantis just beside him. He gazed at Wei Wuxian with tired, but curious eyes and a very pale complexion, as if he had crawled back from the very brink of death.
“Ah, General Qi Ying!” Xie Lian cried, jumping up from the chair he had been sitting atop. “How was your nap? I made some stew. Are you hungry?”
Hua Cheng surveyed himself in the mirror and made a frustrated noise. Not only was he no longer with Xie Lian, but it had been a very long time since he was this short. And for some annoying reason, he had an amused, but genuine smile plastered on his face at all times that he could not seem to get rid of despite how many times he tried.
“What have you done to Wei Ying?” demanded the very tall man (who had recently introduced himself as Lan Wangji) in a deep, but soft voice. He was dressed in pristine white, his forehead ribbon blowing in the breeze. Hua Cheng noted that the very presence of this man commanded respect and despite the state of things, he was begrudgingly impressed.
Hua Cheng noticed the faint red marks on Wei Ying’s neck and grimaced. Just what kind of situation had he gotten himself into? “I have done nothing to this Wei Ying. But I sense that he more than dabbles in the dark arts. Perhaps we should ask him?”
Lan Wangji grunted, his eyes morphing into slits, clearly angered by Hua Cheng’s implications of what Wei Ying was. Hua Cheng was beginning to understand the relationship that Lan Wangji had with this Wei Ying and a cloud of sympathy welled inside of him. Wei Ying was this man’s special someone, just as Xie Lian was Hua Cheng’s. The thought of Xie Lian warmed Hua Cheng, which quickly distorted into panic. It was fine, Xie Lian was fine. He was strong, cunning, and intelligent, and he was at Puqi Shrine. If he ventured an educated guess, Wei Ying was currently residing inside of Hua Cheng’s body. This regal man, Lan Wangji, who now stood in front of Hua Cheng, loved and revered Wei Ying, so Wei Ying couldn’t be that problematic. But the issue was that the dark energy emanating off of Wei Ying’s person was rather concerning. Wei Ying was a very strong demonic cultivator and Xie Lian was a very strong pure cultivator. Who knows what would happen if their powers collided? Hua Cheng had to get to Xie Lian…and fast.
“Do not call him Wei Ying,” bit out Lan Wangji.
“Then what would you have me call him?” Hua Cheng demanded, his patience waning.
“Wei Wuxian.”
Hua Cheng froze. Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch who had infiltrated Ghost City just days ago? Oh, he was going to murder that bastard.
This time, it was Xie Lian who dragged the unconscious Quan Yizhen into a corner of the shrine. Wei Wuxian, bug-eyed, watched the scene unfold.
“He must have a very mild constitution. Is this not the second time he has fainted today?”
Xie Lian scratched his cheek lightly. “Ah…I don’t think that General Qi Ying is weak, he is a martial god after all. Rather, I may have seasoned my stew a tad too much. Would you like to try some?” Xie Lian was curious. Wei Wuxian was inside of Hua Cheng’s body, his Hua Cheng, the only individual who could stomach his dishes. Would Wei Wuxian be able to also?
Wei Wuxian nodded, but was perplexed. He hadn’t eaten anything all day and yet he was not hungry. He could also feel raw power coursing through his body and did not have any particular need to breathe. From time to time, when he waved around his hands, a silver butterfly or two would burst forth from the air and flitter towards Xie Lian, who smiled gently at them. And most importantly, though this man whose body he had taken up residence in was missing his right eye, he was really rather handsome (not nearly as handsome as his Hanguang-Jun, but he was close!)! This San Lang was quite a mystery.
“A martial god?” Wei Wuxian asked, pointing towards Quan Yizhen. “That fluffy child is a martial god?”
“Yes,” Xie Lian responded, ladling the stew into a bowl adorned with red flowers and sliding it towards Wei Wuxian. “He is the martial god of the West.”
Wei Wuxian slipped some of Xie Lian’s invention into his mouth and gasped on a choke. Now he understood why Quan Yizhen had fainted. It was a surprise that he hadn’t died, really. Then Wei Wuxian looked at what he had consumed. Just why exactly was this stew blue and gray and why did it taste like Jiang Cheng’s crusty feet?!
Xie Lian was bouncing on his toes, grinning at Wei Wuxian, eagerly awaiting his response.
Again, Wei Wuxian had a sudden urge to protect Xie Lian. “Uh…w-wow, Daozhang. This stew is…otherworldly!”
Xie Lian’s cheeks reddened. “Thank you, Wei-gongzi. Only San Lang really ever cares for my cooking, so I’m glad that you’ve taken to it too.”
That’s not exactly what Wei Wuxian had said or meant, but what kind of monster would he be if he crushed the absolute joy that ignited in the wholesome man standing before him? Lan Zhan too would be aggrieved if he were to do so, he was sure of it.
“Ahh…it’s nothing, nothing at all, Daozhang. But if General Qi Ying is the martial god of the West, then why is he here? Shouldn’t he be up in the Heavens, performing his godly tasks?”
Xie Lian mulled this question over for a moment. He had only ever seen Quan Yizhen sleep, faint from consuming Xie Lian’s food, attempt to hide gold bars in Puqi Shrine, tackle General Pei Ming, pine after Yin Yu, and beat up his own followers. Did he ever perform godly tasks?
“He must not have plans today.”
“Why are you acquainted with him?”
Now how exactly should Xie Lian tell Wei Wuxian that he, the Crown Prince of Xian Le, was also a martial god and a distinguished scrap collector?
“And also,” Wei Wuxian continued. “This San Lang of yours has a lot of power coursing through him. It’s a little suffocating. It’s surprising that he hasn’t cultivated to godhood yet. What is he, exactly?”
Xie Lian let out a deep sigh. He wanted his husband back as soon as possible. Honesty was the best policy given their current circumstances. “You see, my San Lang is the Crimson Rain Seeking Flower, Hua Cheng, the Ghost King and ruler of Ghost City.”
Wei Wuxian’s eyes bulged out of their sockets of their own accord as he stifled a groan. If he had been in the body of Mo Xuanyu, he would have passed out for sure. At this very moment, Wei Wuxian was dwelling within the body of Hua Cheng, the Crimson Rain Seeking Flower. The ghost king who he had accidentally messed with two days ago. He was beginning to understand why exactly Hua Cheng and he had switched bodies and uh…he was doomed.
Lan Sizhui was a mess. The tears were flowing steadily down his face, despite Lan Wangji’s gentle fingers brushing them away. Lan Sizhui had just gotten his father back! And now he was gone again. It was just too soon!
“I’ll do anything,” Lan Sizhui sobbed. “I just want my Senior Wei back. We can’t lose him again, Hanguang-Jun!”
Lan Wangji patted his back and nodded. “Mn. We’ll do whatever it takes.”
Hua Cheng surveyed the two Lans together. Father and son. Wei Wuxian was a father and he dared to stoke the wrath of the notorious Ghost King. Hua Cheng rolled his eyes–Wei Wuxian was an idiot.
“Please don’t roll your eyes with my father’s body,” Lan Sizhui pleaded. “He never rolls his eyes at Hanguang-Jun or me.”
“My apologies.” Hua Cheng mustered up a genuine smile at Lan Sizhui. He was a child after all and Hua Cheng did not dare to upset a child. Xie Lian would be disappointed in him and for some strange reason, he did not want to sadden further the miserable youth sitting before him. “But it would be prudent for you to recognize that I am not your father. He is most likely in my body right now.”
“And who may you be?” Lan Xichen asked, joining them at the main hall.
“My name is Hua Cheng.”
“We would say it is nice to meet you Hua-gongzi, but under these circumstances, it is difficult to do so,” Lan Xichen responded. He patted Lan Sizhui’s head and squeezed Lan Wangji’s hand. “My brother-in-law means the world to these two. We must act quickly to switch the two of you back. It would be wise if we were to cooperate together.”
“Agreed,” Hua Cheng sighed. He absentmindedly twirled the invisible red string around his middle finger. Much to his relief, the string was still there and why wouldn’t it be? His fate was tied tightly to that of Xie Lian’s after all. The strength of the knot was comforting; his gege was safe. “I would like to get back to my husband sooner rather than later.” Hua Cheng didn’t even want to think about what Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian were up to back in Puqi Shrine…if Puqi Shrine was even still standing. Xie Lian had the worst luck of any individual to ever walk the earth and Wei Wuxian was a harbinger of disaster. Maybe he ought to ask Yin Yu to stow away some funds for rebuilding Puqi Shrine, just in case…ah, but he didn’t have access to the spiritual communication array at the moment. Damn it. What a lousy day.
All of a sudden, Hua Cheng felt a grumble echo deep from within his abdomen. He looked down at his torso, astonished. He had only ever heard that noise come from Xie Lian and it meant only one thing: Was he, Hua Cheng, hungry? When was the last time he had experienced this sensation?
Lan Wangji flinched. Lan Sizhui jumped up, scrambling out of the hall. “Senior Wei’s body must be sustained. I’ll get him something to eat!”
Despite himself, Hua Cheng smiled. Wei Wuxian had a very good son.
“Before,” Lan Wangji abruptly said, watching Lan Sizhui’s back with fond, warm eyes. “You said that Wei Ying possesses demonic energy.”
“Yes, I did,” Hua Cheng concurred.
“He is recultivating his golden core.”
“I can sense that, but his core still requires a lot of nourishment and nurturing. Wei Wuxian cannot fully forfeit demonic cultivation just yet. Demonic energy will emanate off of his soul for a long time, until he is able to hone his golden core and make it his own.” Hua Cheng could sense worry and sadness budding from Lan Wangji’s person and understood; if Xie Lian had turned to demonic cultivation when he had pursued the kingdom of Yong’An with Wu Ming at his side…
“Hanguang-Jun,” Hua Cheng began, attempting to quell the unease that had risen inside of him. “Are you aware of your husband’s…merriments in the ghost realm?”
Lan Xichen coughed lightly, but Lan Wangji stared at Hua Cheng, confused. “No. I did not even know there was a ghost realm nearby.”
Hua Cheng smirked. “Would you like to know what your husband has been up to recently?”
“YOU DID WHAT!?” cried Xie Lian, jumping out of his seat.
“I know, I know!” Wei Wuxian lamented, covering Hua Cheng’s face with Hua Cheng’s very large hands. “I shouldn’t have done it. But the rumors got the best of me and I caved!”
“You stole from Crimson Rain Seeking Flower! You stole…that is very bad, very ba-” Xie Lian abruptly stopped and hung his head, ashamed. The shameful memories were resurrecting fast and he sat down before the nausea could consume him. “Stealing can be very detrimental to our wellbeing, Wei-gongzi. It can lead us astray and destroy bonds that we deeply cherish. Believe me…it is not something so trivial.”
Wei Wuxian studied Xie Lian, whose disposition had turned very dark very fast. “Are you all right, Daozhang?”
Xie Lian flinched, before smiling sadly at Wei Wuxian. “En, just some memories…not ones I am particularly proud of.” Xie Lian took a deep breath and waited several minutes before the self-loathing and resentment dissipated.
Wei Wuxian waited alongside him, looking worried. “...Daozhang?”
Xie Lian took another deep breath before continuing, “Really, there’s no need to worry about me, Wei-gongzi! We must attend to you. My husband may literally kill you for what you have done and you must be saved, especially because you have a son and husband who love you, do you not?”
“Yes, I do.” Wei Wuxian wrung his hands tensely. “Any suggestions on what we should do?”
Xie Lian rubbed his forehead, thinking through the little information that he had. “Where did you put my husband’s goods?”
Wei Wuxian scrunched up Hua Cheng’s face as he attempted to recall where he had hidden the stolen goods. Despite living in Hua Cheng’s body, Wei Wuxian was not surprised to learn that he still had a terrible memory. “I think I put them inside a cave in Mount Tonglu. There were A LOT of interesting statues there. Shame I couldn’t get a closer look at them. I’m quite sure that there were several that were in very intriguing positions…”
He grinned at Xie Lian, his eyebrows dancing up and down, but was startled when he heard choking noises erupt out of Xie Lian, who was turning bluer and bluer by the second. “Daozhang, breathe, breathe!” Wei Wuxian ran to grab a jug of water and coaxed it into Xie Lian’s mouth. “There, there. You’re all right.”
“I’m not!” Xie Lian squeaked, shocking himself. “What were you thinking, going into the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods?!”
“You know that place?” asked Wei Wuxian.
“Yes,” Xie Lian responded in a clipped tone. “I am…familiar with it.”
He was not sure why, but Wei Wuxian did not like being scolded by Xie Lian. He felt like he was also disappointing Lan Zhan and that made him feel downright horrid. “Well,” Wei Wuxian mumbled, feeling sweat pooling along his forehead, which was strange, because ghosts couldn’t sweat, could they? “Hua Cheng’s men are rather strong and fast. I had to use Suibian to fly to the most remote place I could find. There was a cave in Mount Tonglu that had been unsealed, for some strange reason, so I went there to hide them all.”
Xie Lian shook his head in dismay. His face was oddly red, Wei Wuxian observed. “My San Lang may indeed kill you and even I may not be able to stop him.”
Feng Xin had a problem. Depending on the vastness of the universe, it could be considered a tiny, little problem that was really of no concern, or a very big problem, with innocent people getting slaughtered. Really, it depended on one’s perspective of things. The matter of the fact, however, was that Feng Xin was not a very optimistic individual. And he had spent quite a lot of time with the unluckiest man on earth, so his perspective was skewed to anticipate the worst.
But for goodness sake, he had only napped for five minutes! Just five minutes! And when he had awoken five minutes later…alright, alright, it was really two hours later, Guzi and Qi Rong were gone. General Tai Hua was going to murder him. Feng Xin knew it. For shame! Why had he even agreed to babysit the lumpy green toad and his little brat?! He could barely control his own little monster, Cuo Cuo!
Feng Xin contemplated his options, though there weren’t many. After attempting to quell the dread that was knotting in his intestines, he decided to enlist the help of the only two men in the Heavenly Realms he could rely on in these dire circumstances. He sighed…really, he couldn’t count on them at all! One of them he dreamt of throttling to death every night and the other one was way too straightforward with women, something that made Feng Xin grow lightheaded. But he needed to do what he must, so he cleaned up the drool that had pooled on his desk during his nap and headed in the direction of Mu Qing and Pei Ming’s respective palaces.
Lan Jingyi sat next to Lan Wangi and Lan Sizhui, observing Hua Cheng in Wei Wuxian’s body, as Hua Cheng watched Lan Wangji feed his rabbits. Hua Cheng noticed that every now and then, Lan Wangji would lightly pull at his forehead ribbon.
Lan Jingyi was unnerved. “You haven’t talked in nearly two incense sticks!” He accused Hua Cheng. “It’s gross!”
Hua Cheng chuckled. “Indeed, Wei Wuxian is very gross.”
Lan Wangji looked up at Hua Cheng and Hua Cheng snickered at him.
“Please don’t say things that make Hanguang-Jun frown like that,” insisted Lan Sizhui. “You’re upsetting him.”
Hua Cheng quirked an eyebrow. “Hanguang-Jun is frowning?” As far as he could tell, Lan Wangji had the same stoic expression that he had been wearing all day.
“Yes, you have made him quite upset. Can’t you tell?”
Hua Cheng slowly moved towards Lan Wangji to inspect any changes in his expressions and watched as Lan Wangji’s eyes met that of Wei Wuxian’s. The tips of Lan Wangji’s ears bloomed into a bright red color. Hua Cheng chuckled again. Lan Wangji was truly smitten with the Yiling Patriarch, even his face. “Love truly has the most incomparable merits, does it not?”
The small smile that blossomed on Lan Wangji’s face was hard to miss. “Mn. Indeed it does.”
Hua Cheng waited until Lan Wangji had finished feeding the rabbits before he rose and stretched. Lan Jingyi stood up too. Hua Cheng grunted. In Wei Wuxian’s body, he was barely taller than the children!
“Sizhui, Jingyi, please watch over the Cloud Recesses. I will be back with Wei Ying soon.”
“Be careful, Hanguang-Jun,” begged Lan Sizhui. Hanguang-Jun patted his head fondly.
The two youths bowed to Hanguang-Jun before setting off for their respective duties. Lan Wangji then headed in the direction of the Jingshi to pack for their imminent journey. “How will we locate Puqi Shrine from Gusu?”
“That’s no problem. We just need to find temples and the gods to which they are dedicated, preferably a martial god’s, within the vicinity. I can determine Puqi Shrine’s location from that information alone.” Hua Cheng surveyed the Jingshi without entering. It felt awkward entering Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s bedroom as a stranger in Lan Wangji’s husband’s body.
Lan Wangji nodded and then replied, “The temples predominating this region are General Ming Guang’s and the Rain Master’s.”
“...”
Lan Wangji looked at Hua Cheng with what could possibly be deemed as a questioning stare, but really, who was to know?
“Ho ho,” Hua Cheng chortled.
The satchel was crimson red, Xie Lian’s favorite color. It had been stitched by Hua Cheng some years ago for Xie Lian to store the items he had discovered during his scrap collecting escapades. When Hua Cheng had initially gifted it to him, Xie Lian had stuffed his face into Hua Cheng’s chest for nearly half the day, so delighted was he by his husband’s kind gesture.
Today, Xie Lian was shoving his well-worn, well-loved satchel with anything that Hua Cheng may need as a human, such as a canteen filled with water, some of Xie Lian’s stew (if Wei Wuxian had liked it, then Hua Cheng would LOVE it, Xie Lian was sure), some ointment for any possible scratches or injuries, Hua Cheng’s painting supplies, some calligraphy tools, and a rather stuffy pelt to keep Hua Cheng warm, if they were going to enter the snowy recesses of Mount Tonglu. He even inserted a weaponry or two (Wei Wuxian counted 15) for good measure.
“May I ask you to take that scimitar off of your person, please?” Xie Lian asked, pointing at the sword resting on Wei Wuxian’s waist.
Wei Wuxian looked down. Sure enough, a slender, curved sword lounged on his torso. On the hilt, there was a silver eye engraved onto it. It was beautiful. Wei Wuxian removed it carefully and handed it to Xie Lian, who patted it, before gently placing it into his satchel. “Good boy, E’ming, good boy.”
“Ah, Daozhang, is all of this necessary? Does Crimson Rain Seeking Flower not have any way to communicate with you or others? He is a ghost king with insurmountable powers, after all,” Wei Wuxian quipped, awed by how much the small satchel could hold.
Again, Xie Lian was unnerved by Wei Wuxian’s chirpy, optimistic manner of speaking in Hua Cheng’s deep, smooth voice. He scratched his cheek. “Well, we usually communicate through the spiritual communication array, but that will not work in this situation as his body is in your possession and I have no communication array established with your body. Furthermore, I am unsure if you can control San Lang’s wraith butterflies to locate him and your Lan Zhan.”
Wei Wuxian winced. He knew about Hua Cheng’s dangerous wraith butterflies, all right (though he hadn’t known they were butterflies at the time as they had attacked him so quickly and furiously). They really had shown him no mercy just days ago. Lan Zhan had looked worried that evening as he inspected Wei Wuxian’s body, but Wei Wuxian had attempted to soothe him. Still, Lan Zhan had applied warm compresses to Wei Wuxian’s back, because he had no intention of those wounds from preventing him from ravaging Wei Wuxian. Everyday meant everyday.
“A communication array is usually maintained by Heavenly officials. You’re no ordinary cultivator, are you, Daozhang?” Wei Wuxian watched Xie Lian turn visibly pink and chuckled.
Xie Lian laughed meekly. “As expected. Wei-gongzi is meticulous and sharp. I am a Heavenly official, but I typically collect scraps, that’s it! There’s really not much more to me than that.”
“...”
Scrap-collecting? Why did that sound so familiar? “...Wait, Daozhang…” Wei Wuxian gulped as a revelation dawned on him. “You’re the scrap-collecting god who defeated the Heavenly Emperor, Jun Wu, aren’t you?”
Xie Lian quickly swiveled away and groaned.
That was enough of an answer for Wei Wuxian. For the second time that day, he marveled that he hadn’t passed out yet, whether in a Ghost King’s body or not.
“Ready to go?” Xie Lian asked softly, swinging his satchel behind his bag and reaching for his bamboo hat. “Mount Tonglu is quite a long journey from our humble shrine. But I can try the dice to see if we can reach San Lang and head there together.”
“Please give me a few minutes to hyperventilate to my heart’s desire first.” Then, Wei Wuxian shot Xie Lian a puzzled look. “Dice?”
Xie Lian chuckled weakly. “San Lang says to roll the dice whenever I miss him or want to see him. Then the door I immediately open afterwards will lead me to where he is at the moment.”
Wei Wuxian gawked at him. It was too fortunate that there was no blood coursing through his veins currently; otherwise, he knew he would be blushing from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes. “And I thought Hanguang-Jun and I were bad,” Wei Wuxian muttered.
Xie Lian flushed again.
Then understanding dawned on Wei Wuxian and he widened his eyes in horror. “But, but, won’t Crimson Rain Seeking Flower murder me the minute he sees me? Well, Lan Zhan won’t let him, but I’m sure the Ghost King will still try.”
The laughter bubbling out of Xie Lian was indeed a sight to see. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about that, Wei-gongzi! I won’t let San Lang hurt you, seeing as you still possess his body.” Then he shoved his face into his hands. “I am rather fond of San Lang’s body, you see,” he said in the smallest, most muffled voice possible. Wei Wuxian stared; Xie Lian was already a very soft-spoken man.
“If-if you say so. I do want to see Hanguang-Jun as soon as possible.” Wei Wuxian sighed. “I miss him.”
Xie Lian nodded, a soft understanding crossing his face. He rubbed at the silver ring resting on his chest. The ring was emanating a soft glow of warmth; his San Lang was safe. Xie Lian tossed Wei Wuxian a relieved smile. Wei Wuxian lightly grinned back.
“Love truly has the most incomparable merits, don’t you think?”
“Mn,” Wei Wuxian agreed. “There’s nothing quite like it.”
Jiang Cheng knew that he had terrible luck. There was quite a lot of evidence that proved this assertion, but the most recent being that he was stuck with Nie Huaisang on this mission. The bastard was crying yet again, this time about not wanting to get kidnapped.
“You’re worried about getting kidnapped, when your people already have been!” bellowed Jiang Cheng, his patience wearing thin. “You shameless sect leader!”
Nie Huaisang covered his face with his fan to stifle the shrills that he knew would sprout from his mouth soon enough. “But it’s only natural to fear for your own life!”
“That’s all you’re ever capable of. You have a duty to protect your people, so see to it that you do what you promised them!”
Things had been going downhill for the past day and a half. The citizens of Lotus Pier and the Unclean Realm had been drastically disappearing and it was alarming, to say the least. Jin Ling had also gone missing during this time and though he would never admit it, Jiang Cheng was afraid. Moreover, the lotus seeds that graced the waterways of Lotus Pier had all been pulled out and his sister, Jiang Yanli’s recipe for her coveted pork rib and lotus root soup was lost! He didn’t even have any leads as to what would cause such odd and mystifying occurrences to take place in such a short amount of time.
They had just entered the mouth of a thicket of dawn redwood trees on the outskirts of Yunmeng when Nie Huaisang shrieked, jumped, and climbed onto Jiang Cheng’s back. Jiang Cheng glowered and easily plucked him off like one does a really nasty dung beetle. “What’s wrong with you now?”
“I felt something dribble down my robes.” Nie Huaisang turned around to allow Jiang Cheng to investigate his back. Sure enough, there was a stripe of dark red liquid crawling down his cultivation robes. Jiang Cheng looked up into the forest of trees above and gasped. The trees were covered in what could only be blood, dripping down like blood rain. But he heard moans from the trees too. Nie Huaisang sheathed his eyes with his fan to squint up at the little dots that littered the tops of the redwood trees. “Th-th-those are humans!”
Jiang Cheng gaped and noticed a small, male frame in yellow cultivation robes amidst one of the tree branches. “That’s Jin Ling, I’m sure of it!” He ran forwards to get a closer look. “There are humans hung upside down from up there and they’re bleeding! Good Gods, we have to get them down quickly!”
Nie Huaisang had turned blue and steadied himself on Jiang Cheng’s arms. “Humans dangling from trees to power a blood rain? Just what kind of crass, disgusting, piece of shit would do such a thing!?” Jiang Cheng demanded, his permanent frown growing deeper.
Several feet away from Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang, three Heavenly officials stood, hidden among the gargantuan trees. They looked grimly at one another. A piece of shit who hung humans, as they bled, upside down from trees to mimic Crimson Rain Sought Flower’s infamous blood rain? There was only one fucker capable of that.
Hua Cheng, to his immense surprise, thought that the Cloud Recesses was truly a very beautiful place. The soft chirps of birds, the vivacity of the gentian flowers, and the mist that encompassed the mountain bloomed into the calmest, most surreal dream. He found himself daydreaming of bringing along Xie Lian to Gusu sometime soon. He knew that Xie Lian would love it. He sighed wistfully. It had only been a little over half a day, but he missed his Gege.
The sun was slowly setting and the cicadas were beginning to hum. Lan Wangji walked alongside Hua Cheng in silence as they left the perimeters of the Cloud Recesses, heading through Caiyi Town.
Lan Wangji: “...”
Hua Cheng: “...”
“Your special someone…what are they like?” Lan Wangji asked abruptly.
Hua Cheng tentatively assessed Lan Wangji. He could not yet decipher the tall man very well, but one thing was for certain: Lan Wangji was miserable without Wei Wuxian.
Lan Wangji opened his mouth, as if to speak and then closed it. Hua Cheng waited. They walked in silence for a while before Lan Wangji opened his mouth again. “This exchange of souls has upset you, just as it has not been good for me. But you are determined to change this outcome, solely for your beloved. That is something that I, too, understand well.”
Hua Cheng hummed thoughtfully, his mind sprinkled with the soft laugh of Xie Lian. “My heart’s beloved…” he began. “My heart’s beloved is like a white rose in the hottest desert. He is so brave and strong that even in the face of the most demonizing calamity that may befall him, he trudges forward to do what he believes is right. He is a fighter and everyday, everyday, he gives me hope that I am worthy of his love, that this lowly piece of trash isn’t really trash at all. He was the first man to ever make me a hot meal, even when he had so little.” Hua Cheng chuckled lightly. “After all, Gege is so kind. I have seen his compassion, his selflessness, his perseverance, his wrath, his fear, his vengeance. I have seen him in his glory and in his downfall. And yet, there is no part of him that I do not treasure. If I had to die ten thousand times to cross paths with Gege again, I would do so, without an inkling of hesitation.”
Was that a really tiny smile on Lan Wangji’s face? “Your gracious, special someone…” Lan Wangji murmured. There was a softness in his eyes that Hua Cheng had not before seen. “Hua-gongzi, I would like to meet him, your heart’s beloved.”
“I hope that time will come soon,” Hua Cheng said, somewhat anxiously. “And what is the case with you? The revered Hanguang-Jun is deeply devoted to the Yiling Patriarch. Nothing has been more obvious to me today and yet, it is difficult for me to fathom the conundrum that is your relationship with him.”
Lan Wangji tilted his head in question.
“You and Wei Wuxian are complete opposites,” Hua Cheng clarified.
Lan Wangji’s smile burgeoned just a little more. “Wei Ying is certainly loud, rebellious, and mischievous, but he is also courageous and daring and cares with his whole heart. He perseveres in re-cultivating his golden core without complaint. He evolves everyday and everyday I am excited to watch him grow. I have seen him being trampled on and yet he gets up every single time with renewed determination, even if the world is against him - This is not easy to do, but my Wei Ying has the strength. He is a warm flame to the frost that once caged me in. For me to not love him would be blasphemous to my identity.”
Hua Cheng stared. Those were the most words he had heard Lan Wangji speak all day. “I’m glad that he has you, Hanguang-Jun. When he was a wandering soul several years ago, I had met him once or twice in Ghost City. He was…lost and broken. He wanted nothing more than the world to burn. And yet, today, he is thriving, with you by his side.”
Lan Wangji stopped in his steps, a pained look engraved in his eyes. “I am glad that he has come back. I can no longer imagine a life without him.”
Hua Cheng nodded, for he understood. Xie Lian fit perfectly into all the little cracks and crevices that made up Hua Cheng; Xie Lian made him feel whole in a way that he had never felt when he was human. Even in the gloomiest of days before he had met Xie Lian on Mount Yujun all those years ago, Hua Cheng could survive, because the faintest remnants of memories with Xie Lian’s presence lingering in them consumed him with the brightest light, the most unspeakable happiness. And now, Hua Cheng had Xie Lian, could devote himself to Xie Lian. He could experience Xie Lian’s twinkling laughs, his most endearing squeaks of embarrassments, his fears, his sadness, his hurt. There was nothing more rewarding than staying by Xie Lian’s side in this entire world or across millenia and Hua Cheng knew this with confidence, for he had lived and died and had existed for so long that time held no meaning.
The leaves rustled beneath them as Lan Wangji and Hua Cheng continued walking through the trees. Both of them sighed, clearly lost in the thoughts of their respective beloveds. Perhaps four incense sticks of time had gone by without a word exchanged between the two when Lan Wangji heard a deep, very masculine voice calling his name.
“Hanguang-Jun! Hanguang-Jun! LAN-ER GEGE!”
“Do my ears deceive me? I swear I can hear my own voice calling your name, Hanguang-Jun,” snickered Hua Cheng.
Then a softer, “San Lang!”
Lan Wangji and Hua Cheng immediately turned. Sure enough, along the path, a tall man in dark, crimson robes and an eyepatch masking his right eye was charging towards them, a shorter man in complete white and a bamboo hat bouncing along behind him. Hua Cheng gave Lan Wangji a small smile, which Lan Wangji returned, as they ran back the way they had come to meet their husbands in the middle.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji breathed, staring slightly up into the eye of Hua Cheng. This was different, was Wei Wuxian taller than him now? It didn’t matter. Wei Ying was here with him.
“Lan Zhan, guess what!? I can finally pat your head without having to get on my tiptoes, can you believe it?” Wei Wuxian grabbed the shorter man and pulled him into his embrace. “I missed you.”
“Mn, I missed you too.” Lan Zhan returned the hug without hesitation, tightening his arms around Wei Wuxian’s torso.
“I’m so glad I found you.” Wei Wuxian twirled Lan Wangji’s forehead ribbon around his fingers and rested his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder. “It has been rough without seeing my Lan-er Gege for so long.”
“Likewise,” Lan Wangi gulped, pulling Wei Wuxian into his arms closer.
“Gege, gege, you’re here. I’m so happy,” Hua Cheng smiled, cupping Xie Lian’s face in his hands and kissing his forehead. “Oh good, I’m still a little taller than my Dianxia.”
Xie Lian pouted, covering his face with his hands. “San Lang!” Then he erupted into a grin before kissing Hua Cheng on the cheek. “I’m so happy San Lang has come back to me.”
“Didn’t I promise, Gege? I will never leave you.” Hua Cheng pecked Xie Lian on the forehead again and then buried his face into Xie Lian’s neck.
“En, I know you won’t.” He slid his hands into Hua Cheng’s, entwining their fingers together.
A low snarl echoed from somewhere beside Hua Cheng.
“Ahahaha,” laughed Wei Wuxian awkwardly, “I don’t think Hanguang-Jun likes our bodies being switched.”
“Agreed,” Xie Lian acquiesced. “I would like my San Lang’s soul to return to his body as soon as possible!”
Hua Cheng laughed and wrapped his arm around Xie Lian’s waist. Lan Wangji mimicked him and did the same around Wei Wuxian’s waist.
“How did you find us?” inquired Hua Cheng, guiding them forwards along the path. Night consumed them now. The moonlight flitted between the treetops, casting a soft glow around their surroundings. The calls of the cicadas were lighter and the wind weaved through the tree branches quietly, as if afraid to break the reunion of the four peerless men.
“I used the dice!” Xie Lian exclaimed proudly. He was bouncing again in excitement.
“My gege is so smart.” Hua Cheng grinned, nuzzling his nose against Xie Lian’s cheek. Then he turned to Wei Wuxian, his eyes turning frosty. “...So, Wei Wuxian, we meet yet again. I’d call you trash, except Hanguang-Jun deeply cares for you and he is a kind person, so I won’t do so at the moment. You’re aware of why we are in this predicament, I presume?”
Wei Wuxian chuckled weakly. “I stole your wine and then drank it.” Lan Zhan stared intently at him.
“When was the last time you consumed it?”
“This morning while cooking lunch for Lan Zhan’s old geez - I, I mean, Lan Zhan’s uncle.”
“Has anyone else had access to it?” Xie Lian asked.
Wei Wuxian contemplated for a moment before his eyes widened. “Oh no! I put some in the dish for Lan Qiren and there was a little bit left in the kitchen! Lan Zhan, what if the children get a hold of it?!” He grabbed Lan Wangji’s arm to comfort himself.
Lan Wangji frowned and strengthened his grip on Wei Wuxian’s waist. “That is a bit of a problem. We must alert my brother regarding the matter.”
“I can send a message to a Heavenly official to spread the word along to your brother,” Xie Lian offered.
Lan Wangji tilted his head yet again. Wei Wuxian chuckled at his confusion before whispering, “Daozhang is a god. He can communicate spiritually with Heaven to help us.” Then Wei Wuxian turned to Xie Lian. “That would be perfect. Zewu-Jun will be swift in his actions.”
“Unless it’s too late,” Hua Cheng muttered, crossing his arms.
“Now, now, San Lang, let’s try to be optimistic.” Xie Lian slumped his shoulders. “Who am I to say such things with my luck?”
“Oh? Does gege need his spiritual energy replenished?” Hua Cheng asked, surveying Xie Lian.
Xie blushed a vibrant shade of pink. “No, it is quite fine for now, San Lang. Let me just contact Ling Wen.” Xie Lian turned away from the path for some privacy as he entered the spiritual communication array.
“Say, what would happen if someone else drank Crimson Rain Seeking Flower’s wine?” Wei Wuxian began wringing his hands before Lan Wangji cupped them into his own.
“I’m not sure,” Hua Cheng responded, a grim line forming over his mouth. “The wine was a work-in-progress. But I imagine that anyone who consumes the wine at this stage will have their souls switched with someone else in the vicinity. Or, because you do practice some demonic cultivation, Wei Wuxian, and you mixed it into your uncle’s food and you were the last person to drink from the jar, there may be some…adverse effects.”
“Like what?” demanded Lan Wangji softly.
Hua Cheng waved his hands in an off-handed manner. “Oh you know, whoever drinks the wine could get their soul switched with a completely random soul, whether alive or dead, from any of the three realms on this Earth. They could also get their soul ripped into multiple pieces when the switching happens. Or the soul could even get lost and have no vessel to enter. It could also be that there is a three or four-way switching of souls. Hell, all of them could occur simultaneously. Shall I go on?” Hua Cheng smiled in a manner that reminded Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji why exactly he was feared as the Ghost King.
Things were not going well in the Cloud Recesses. For one thing, Lan Xichen was now dead and Wen Ning was now alive. It had happened while Wen Ning had come to visit Lan Sizhui after he had learned that his precious little cousin was in a dejected mood. He had found Lan Xichen taste-testing some overly spicy dish boiling on the stove when the kind soul had offered Wen Ning some to eat. Of course, how could one even refuse Lan Xichen when he asked so earnestly?
It was after they had taken their first bite of the pheasant when they felt their souls slip away from their respective corporeal bodies and splash into each other.
They barely had time to react before another very strange thing happened. Someone had crashed from the sky and landed into the Cold Spring. The individual plopped out of the water and staggered into the main hall. It was a tiny girl dressed in black robes, now soaking wet. An irritated snake adorned her very thin neck.
“Hello,” greeted Lan Xichen, acutely aware that he was in a dead man’s body. “What brings a little one here at such an hour?”
“Good evening, Zewu-Jun,” chirped Banyue, patting the snake to soothe it. “I am here on behalf of General Hua, the martial god. He would like for me to relay to you a message.”
“Oh? And what would that message be, little one?” Lan Xichen attempted to smile, but was not sure how genuine it would come across from a gaunt, gray ghost. Little did he know that Banyue was also no longer human and such incidents did not faze her in the slightest.
She cleared her throat and replied, “Please do not drink the wine in the jar stationed in the kitchen and please do not consume the pheasant that Wei-gongzi cooked earlier today. Those who consume the two foods will have their souls switched into the body of someone else’s.”
“Oh dear,” hummed Lan Xichen. “I’m afraid that your warning came just a tad bit late, little one. My soul has already been switched with this gentleman here.” He gestured towards his own body, the face of which seemed to have a confused frown etched onto it. “And my brother-in-law’s soul has been switched with the Crimson Rain Seeking Flower. What do you surmise we do?”
Banyue scratched at her temple, a perplexed look shadowing her face. “General Hua, Hua Chengzhu, and Wei-gongzi and his husband are on their way to Mount Tonglu. Perhaps you should accompany them there?”
“En, I suppose that is what we will do. Thank you, little one.” Lan Xichen bowed at Banyue, who bowed back to him and Wen Ning.
“It was an honor to meet you, Zewu-Jun,” she replied before disappearing into the night.
They had entered deeper into the woods that gave way to the edges of the remotest towns occupying Gusu. The trees were more lanky and creaked from the slightest touch. Around here, they were sure to encounter restless souls and plenty of resentful energy. The warmth that had settled in their bones earlier had dispersed and a cold, quiet chill vibrated in the air.
“Gege, where are we headed?” Hua Cheng smiled, patting Xie Lian’s hand after Xie Lian had slipped his arm around Hua Cheng’s waist. Lan Wangji glowered.
“Mount Tonglu, San Lang.”
“Oh, why is that?”
Hua Cheng heard a feeble choke from behind him and turned. For some odd reason, Hua Cheng noticed that his own corporeal complexion, currently in the possession of Wei Wuxian, was even paler than it usually was. Lan Wangji was rubbing Wei Wuxian’s back in little circles.
“Ah…well…you see…” Xie Lian began, rubbing his forehead. He turned to look at Wei Wuxian apologetically. “Wei-gongzi hid the rest of your wine in the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods and we need to collect the jars before anyone else attempts to drink from them.”
If Hua Cheng could suffocate Wei Wuxian’s body, he would have, if not for Xie Lian’s disapproval and Lan Wangji’s worry. Instead, he pinched himself. “Wei Wuxian, did you know you are rather annoying?”
“Hahahaha, Jiang Cheng tells me that all the time.”
“Wei Ying is perfect,” Lan Wangji countered.
“How did you get access to the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods when Dianxia and I personally sealed it together and how did your antics elude my men?”
“The seal had been broken when I encountered the cave. I don’t know who undid the spell,” Wei Wuxian shrugged. “As for your men…well, I bribed them.” He laughed sheepishly.
Hua Cheng gawked at him before gritting out, “I swear to the debt that Black Water owes me, when we return to our own bodies, I will unleash all the ghostly mutts in the Ghost City upon you.”
Wei Wuxian yelped, his face paling even further, and hid behind Lan Wangji, which was laughable, really, seeing as he was shorter than Wei Wuxian at the moment. Lan Wangji patted his arm and sighed. “I will not let anything bad happen to Wei Ying.”
“Try me,” muttered Hua Cheng.
Mu Qing had been having a fairly good day, even if he was being dragged around the mortal realm by General Pei Ming and his own nemesis, Feng Xin. He had just finished restoring the ghost-exposing sword, Hong Jing, back to its full glory. It had taken years, but he had been successful. Perhaps even Crimson Rain Seeking Flower wasn’t so invincible, for it was he who had broken it at Banyue Pass. Mu Qing had never expected to be in possession of the sacred sword as it belonged to Feng Xin now, but one evening, Feng Xin had knocked on the palace of General Xuan Zhen and had laid the broken sword in front of Mu Qing.
“Fix this sword that the fucker broke. Then keep it,” Feng Xin had ordered.
“Why do you want me to have it?” Mu Qing was puzzled.
“…To protect yourself.” And with that, Feng Xin had hurried away.
Now, they were drenched in blood pouring from the redwood trees above, just as they had left Yunping City. General Pei Ming didn’t mind so much, but Mu Qing, well, this was an atrocity! Today, of all days, Mu Qing had chosen to wear a new set of martial robes that he had sewn for himself over the course of the past three months. He had barely gotten any rest while making them, what with performing his Heavenly duties in the daytime and dedicating himself to sewing at night. These robes were something he was proud of. Of course, they were not nearly as resplendent as Xie Lian’s back when he was the revered Crown Prince of Xian Le, but they were still quite magnificent, if he could be so honest! But now look at the sorry state of them! When he got his hands on Qi Rong, that greasy toad, he would feed him to Banyue’s snakes, and then feed the snakes to Hua Cheng, Mu Qing vowed it. Surely even Hua Cheng would get poisoned if he ate that disgusting piece of turd, Qi Rong, and Mu Qing would efficiently kill two birds with one stone too, for he disliked Hua Cheng nearly as much as Qi Rong.
“We should probably get those humans down,” mused General Pei Ming, peeking up into the sky to assess how high the trees extended. “What if there are folks who survived?”
“En,” Feng Xin agreed. “Once we rescue these people, I’ll burn the fucking green goblin alive! Mu Qing, do you still have Hong Jing on your person?”
“I do.”
“Any humans you deem no longer alive, use Hong Jing to make sure that there is no soul lingering about their body. We don’t need more ghosts entering Ghost City and worshipping that bastard, Crimson Rain Seeking Flower.”
“...Don’t tell me what to do.” Mu Qing rolled his eyes and jumped up to pluck the humans off of the trees.
They spent the rest of the day gathering bodies, some dead, but most just barely alive.
“Sect leader Jiang,” whispered Nie Huaisang, tugging on Jiang Cheng’s sleeve. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng whispered back, trying hard not to ogle the three very inhumanly beautiful men streaking above them with handfuls of human bodies. “I have heard that Heavenly officials will descend to the Mortal Realm from time to time, particularly during dire circumstances. Let us go greet them, they are in my territory after all.”
Nie Huaisang groaned; he really did not like having to introduce himself to other people, for it required effort, which did not interest him in the slightest today. Jiang Cheng kicked Nie Huaisang from behind several times before he heard raucous guffawing bursting through the air.
Jiang Cheng turned to see a man, perhaps twenty-six in age, with exceedingly handsome features staring at him with mirth. The man had bright eyes, a toned and sharp jawline and cheekbones, and a very smooth, full mouth. He could definitely steal hearts, Jiang Cheng thought, his cheeks burning.
“W-welcome to Yunmeng.” Jiang Cheng gulped and then attempted to use his most authoritative voice to greet the Heavenly officials who were now watching them carefully.
“Yes, it is quite the welcome,” chortled the heart-stealing Heavenly official. “One does not see blood rain everyday. Though it is Qi Rong who is at fault here, I had sincerely hoped that Hua Chengzhu had quite a playful night with Taizi Dianxia and forgot to rein in his spiritual powers.” Somewhere on the edges of Gusu, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng both sneezed.
Jiang Cheng gaped at the man. He hadn’t understood a thing this Heavenly official had just said. “Excuse me?”
“It is good to meet you, young man. Who must you be?”
Jiang Cheng puffed out his chest. “I am Jiang Wanyin, the current leader of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. These woods” - he pointed at his surroundings - “are within my domain of governance.”
“Well, you aren’t doing a very good job, are you?” A pale man with a stony and pinched face stepped forwards and glared at Jiang Cheng.
The third and final man, carrying a longbow on his back, kicked the pale man. “Be nice, how many times must I tell you? This is why your merits are dwindling.”
“My merits are not dwindling! Mind your own business!”
“Gentlemen, gentlemen,” soothed the heart-stealing Heavenly official. “Let’s not begin arguments here, all right? I do not have the patience nor the willpower of Dianxia to diffuse the tension.”
The other two Heavenly officials huffed, but remained silent.
“Ah well, gentlemen, I am General Ming Guang and these are my colleagues, Generals Nan Yang and Xuan Zhen.” Pei Ming pointed at Feng Xin and Mu Qing, both of whom stiffly nodded at Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang. “As you can see, we have many very ill citizens among us whose injuries must be attended to at once. We will attempt to grab them all from the treetops. If you could send word to your healers that we seek assistance, that would be rather beneficial for us.”
Jiang Cheng blushed at the beautiful man and kowtowed. “Thank you for helping us regarding this matter. Your assistance has been invaluable. Please, my nephew, the one in vivid yellow, he is still up there. He is the sect leader of the Lanling Jin Sect and is still very young.”
Feng Xin gasped before rushing upwards. “There’s a child up there? Fuck!”
Nie Huaisang breathed in relief, fanning himself. “I wonder what caused all of this to happen…”
Pei Ming chuckled as Mu Qing grimaced. “Oh you know, the usual, a Heavenly babysitting gig gone awry…”
“How much further until we get to the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods?” whined Wei Wuxian. Though he was not the least bit tired, he could feel the spiritual power building up in him and it was making him restless.
Lan Wangji curved his arm around Wei Wuxian’s waist and pulled the taller man to his side. “Wei Ying needs rest.”
Xie Lian nodded vehemently, glancing at Hua Cheng, who had become silent, his movements slower. “San Lang hasn’t dwelled in a human body in a long time. He too is getting tired.”
Lan Wangji gently tugged Wei Wuxian into the shadows of a large oak tree, Xie Lian following his lead with Hua Cheng in tow. They all sat, listening to a nearby stream trickling into the crevices of the earth.
Xie Lian pulled his satchel off of his person and began emptying out its contents. Hua Cheng grinned, mentally counting all the weapons Xie Lian had brought. Xie Lian poured some water into the cap of a canteen and handed it to Hua Cheng, who gratefully lapped it up. He offered the same for Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, both of whom politely declined.
“Here, San Lang, I made some stew today.”
“Smells delicious, Gege,” Hua Cheng looked fondly at the bluish gray concoction that had just been placed into his hands. “Has Dianxia decided on a name for this dish?”
Xie Lian quirked his head to the side, placing his knuckles on his chin. After several moments, he replied thoughtfully, “Tigress Rising Against the Wind.”
“Very nice.”
Hua Cheng continued to stare at the stew.
“San Lang, aren’t you going to eat?” Xie Lian lightly prodded.
“This humble follower is so tired, Gege will have to feed him,” Hua Cheng teased, his smile ravishing.
Xie Lian really didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “San Lang! What shall I do with you?” he chided fondly. “You tease me too much!” Nonetheless, he took ahold of the wooden spoon, blew on the contents, before gently placing it into Hua Cheng’s mouth. Then before he lost his nerve, he quickly kissed Hua Cheng on the cheek. Hua Cheng chuckled. “How is it, San Lang?”
Hua Cheng slowly chewed the raspberry and waterfowl in his mouth, savoring the taste. “I like the tartness, Gege, it really adds richness to the overall flavor, but perhaps less cardamom next time?” Hua Cheng’s smile grew larger as the tips of Xie Lian’s ears blushed in response to Hua Cheng’s compliment.
“I will be sure to keep that in mind, thank you, San Lang.”
Wei Wuxian observed the two, laughing. “Daozhang, you and Crimson Rain Seeking Flower are adorable.”
Xie Lian grinned in gratitude. Even Hua Cheng’s mouth tilted into a small smile at Wei Wuxian’s words.
“Would you like some of our Tigress Rising Against the Wind?” Xie Lian offered to Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.
“No, no, once was enou - I mean, it was so unique that I will remember its flavor for years to come, I am sure. Thank you, though, Daozhang.” Wei Wuxian beamed at Xie Lian.
“Wei Ying’s smile is very nice in this moonlight,” Lan Wangji said abruptly, also unpacking food from inside the sleeves of his cultivation robes. Then as an afterthought, “Wei Ying’s smile is always very nice, even when he is not in his own body.”
Xie Lian chuckled. Then simultaneously, both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng recited, “What matters is ‘you’, and not the state of you.”
“Indeed.” Lan Wangji handed Wei Wuxian some rice, vegetables, and a large vat of chili peppers.
“Would you believe it, Lan Zhan, but I’m neither hungry nor tired. Possessing a Ghost King’s body is rather handy. You should eat. We’ve been traveling for a while.” Wei Wuxian sat up from where he was lounging to stroke Lan Wangji’s cheek. “You look tired. Relax while we have the chance.”
“Mn.”
“It is finally good to meet you, Hanguang-Jun,” Xie Lian said, turning to Lan Wangji. He was tracing patterns on Hua Cheng’s palm as Hua Cheng’s head rested on Xie Lian’s shoulder. “I have heard many great things about you from Wei-gongzi. Your love story is quite venerable. I am grateful that you are able to find happiness together.”
Lan Wangji’s mouth curved into a slight smile. “Thank you, Taizi Dianxia. Hua-gongzi’s regard and devotion for you knows no bounds. I understand why.”
“As do I,” Wei Wuxian concurred, one hand slowly rubbing down Lan Wangji’s spine.
Xie Lian sheathed his face with his hands. “Thank you, gentlemen,” he mumbled in a muffled voice, before returning to trace patterns on Hua Cheng’s palm again.
The four men rested beneath the large oak tree for about six incense sticks of time, quietly listening to the air around them and occasionally trading stories. Hua Cheng had nearly fallen asleep on Xie Lian’s lap when Xie Lian heard a small, soft voice echo in his mind.
General Hua, are you there?
Banyue?
General Hua, we have a problem.
What is it, my dear?
Zewu-Jun and a ghost with shackles drank Hua Chengzhu’s wine and their souls have swapped. They are on their way to find you. I think they will be on Mount Tonglu soon.
Xie Lian recoiled in his seat. Thank you for the information, Banyue.
“Gege, is everything all right?” Hua Cheng frowned, his voice heavy with sleep. He sat up, leaning against Xie Lian’s shoulder, leveling his eyes with his beloved.
“Not really, my love,” Xie Lian responded, massaging Hua Cheng’s forehead to ease the frown off of his face. “I think we should hasten our trip to the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods.” Then he groaned, really grasping what that entailed, and tucked his face into Hua Cheng’s chest.
Lan Wangji glowered again at the exchange between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, but settled immediately when Wei Wuxian squeezed his hand and soothed, “What matters is ‘you’, and not the state of you. I am here, Lan Zhan.” He caressed Lan Wangji’s cheek, who turned his face and brushed Wei Wuxian’s palm lightly with his lips.
“What has happened?” Lan Wangji inquired.
Xie Lian stared up into the darkness enveloping them to collect his thoughts. It really had been a very long day, hadn’t it? Even to a god who had lived for nearly a millennium, today felt like an eternity. “Your Zewu-Jun has swapped his body with a ghost wearing shackles. They are headed to Mount Tonglu to join us.”
Wei Wuxian quickly stood up. “Oh no! Wen Ning and your brother, Lan Zhan. We need to hurry!”
“Mn.”
“Isn’t there a faster way to get to the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods than by foot?” Wei Wuxian tapped his toes.
Xie Lian scratched his cheek. “There is a quicker way to get there, but it requires quite the expenditure of spiritual energy.”
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji allowed that information to sink in.
“None of us have that much energy to spare,” Wei Wuxian posited.
“In a manner of speaking, yes,” Xie Lian stated in a tiny voice.
Even though Hua Cheng was no longer in his ghost form, it did not take an idiot to recognize the aura of darkness that was now surrounding him. “Gege, you need your spiritual energy replenished.”
Xie Lian nodded, solemn.
“Well, how do you normally regain the spiritual energy you lost?” asked Wei Wuxian, squinting at Xie Lian curiously.
Xie Lian: “...”
Hua Cheng: “...”
Then, “San Lang usually helps me.”
“Well then, Crimson Rain Seeking Flower, please go help him.”
Hua Cheng shot Wei Wuxian an annoyed look. “It’s not that easy.”
“Of course, it never is.” Wei Wuxian nodded sagely.
“We exchange spiritual energy together,” Hua Cheng replied through gritted teeth.
“We got that,” Wei Wuxian nodded again.
Lan Wangji cleared his throat.
Wei Wuxian looked between Hua Cheng and the very pink Xie Lian several times before letting the Ghost King’s words sink in. “Oh. Ohhhhhh.” He grimaced. “No way! I don’t think so! I am not exchanging spiritual energy with Daozhang, not like that. It’s infidelity! I will only exchange spiritual energy like that with Hanguang-Jun.”
Xie Lian had never turned a darker shade of red. Even amidst the anger that was quickly submerging him, Hua Cheng could not help but notice what a lovely shade of red it was. “Wei-gongzi, just what are you imagining? San Lang was talking about a kiss. Just a kiss.” Xie Lian chuckled nervously.
Now it was Wei Wuxian’s turn to blush, which he did, which was formidable since he was a ghost after all. “Oh. Of course, I knew that!” He too began nervously laughing.
“Hanguang-Jun, your husband is tra - despicable!” Hua Cheng spat, attempting to run towards Wei Wuxian as Xie Lian held him back easily and Lan Wangji walked to stand in front of Wei Wuxian. “Gege, just smack him or slap him or something! Suffice to say, Dianxia’s spiritual energy must be restored.”
“Please do not hurt my Wei Ying.”
Xie Lian gently grabbed Hua Cheng’s arms and swiveled him around so that they were now face to face. Hua Cheng shuddered as he noticed the sadness marring his husband’s beautiful complexion. “I can’t hurt Wei-gongzi, San Lang. He is in your body and you know that I refuse to ever treat San Lang that way.” Xie Lian squeezed Hua Cheng tight before continuing in a whisper that only Hua Cheng could hear, “Never again will you and your body be forced to endure such atrocities, especially because I am your husband and I will not allow it.”
Hua Cheng stifled the gasp that he could now expel and smiled ruefully. “But Gege, it is just a small slap. This lowly one really doesn't mind.”
A glint of steely anger bloomed in Xie Lian’s eyes. “But I do, and please do not call yourself that.”
“Gege,” Hua Cheng murmured, head bowed in shame. “I do not deserve you.” He felt the warmth of Xie Lian’s body encompass him and wrapped the little god in his arms. “Let’s think of something else then.”
Xie Lian hummed in agreement as he settled into Hua Cheng’s embrace. “Wei-gongzi, let’s hold our hands palm to palm and exchange spiritual energy that way. Then I can draw the distance shortening array that should lead us into the mouth of the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods.” Xie Lian tenderly unwrapped himself from Hua Cheng’s hold and turned to look at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian was still remarkably pink and the shell of Lan Wangji’s ears were tinged a light burgundy.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian muttered into Lan Wangji’s ear. “Let’s hope we’re not as bad as them.”
“...”
“Uh, what was that, Wei-gongzi, I didn’t quite catch that.” Xie Lian had bounded silently towards him, folding his sleeves back.
Wei Wuxian looked down at the small god before him, who was gazing up at him as if he were in love. Oh, right, Wei Wuxian was in Xie Lian’s husband’s skin. “I was just saying that I am fine with your idea.” He felt a tickling sensation at his waist as Lan Wangji took ahold of him again. “Though Lan Zhan is a little reluctant, he also concedes to this idea of yours, Daozhang.”
Xie Lian beamed and raised his pale, callused palms. Wei Wuxian mimicked him before placing his own palms flat against Xie Lian’s. The sensation was sudden. Wei Wuxian could feel the tension in his body dispersing as the spiritual energy that had been spidering within him began to ebb away gently through his fingertips. This felt nice…he wondered if he could do this with Lan Wangji too when he had returned back to his own body. But then he remembered Xie Lian’s earlier words and decided that kissing was much better.
After several seconds, Xie Lian muttered, “This much should be sustainable for a long time. Thank you, Wei-gongzi…oh, and San Lang too!” He whirled around to grin at Hua Cheng, who grinned back. “Shall I start drawing the array?”
Xie Lian headed back to the large oak tree when Wei Wuxian heard a voice crawling into his mind.
Hey Hua Cheng, you self-deprecating asshat, are you there? We have a problem. Though the words were not spoken aloud, Wei Wuxian could tell that the voice was low and inherently melancholic.
Huh? Wei Wuxian thought. Am I going crazy now?
What the hell are you talking about? You’ve been obsessing over and stalking your god for more than 800 years. ‘Crazy’ doesn’t even begin to cover all the problems you have.
Wei Wuxian was puzzled. Are you Hua Cheng’s subconscious?
The voice actually snorted. Does Hua Cheng even know what that is? Who are you and where is Hua Cheng? I know I’m in the correct spiritual communication array.
Ohhhh, so that’s what this is. Wei Wuxian chuckled and Lan Wangji stared at him in question. I’m Wei Wuxian, husband to Hanguang-Jun and father to Lan Sizhui. Hua Cheng and I switched bodies for the day.
Why? Was that glee in the disembodied voice?
I stole his spiritual wine and drank it.
There was silence on the other side.
Hello? Hello? Oh, grim disembodied voice, are you there?
I’m here. Listen, you’re a formidable man if you broke through Crimson Rain Seeking Flower’s defenses and managed to steal from Paradise Manor and steal his own body. Don’t let Hua Cheng know I talked to you, but I’ll be in touch.
But you said there was trouble!
Yeah, Shi Qingxuan has been kidnapped, but really, it’s not a big deal. And don’t tell Hua Cheng anything. Otherwise his precious Taizi Dianxia may cry. With that, the voice vanished.
Wei Wuxian frowned, torn between telling Hua Cheng and heeding the ominous voice’s order.
“What’s wrong?” mumbled Lan Wangji into the shell of Wei Wuxian’s ear.
Wei Wuxian flinched. He couldn’t lie to Lan Zhan for a stranger, could he? He bit his lip, contemplating. What if this individual was bad news? Curse him, he had let the stranger know that Hanguang-Jun was his husband and Sizhui was his son! Really, how thoughtless could he be?! No, better to let the others know, for the safety of his precious family.
“Uh, Crimson Rain Seeking Flower, someone just entered your communication array,” Wei Wuxian whispered, sidling close to Hua Cheng as Xie Lian continued to draw the distance shortening array onto the tree.
Hua Cheng blinked several times before responding. “Who was it?”
“I’m not sure, but he said a Shi Qingxuan has been kidnapped. Also, he called you a self-deprecating asshat, if that helps narrow down your list of confidantes.”
Hua Cheng scowled at Wei Wuxian. “Don’t tell Gege about Shi Qingxuan. That gloomy fish fucker, He Xuan, is obsessed with Shi Qingxuan. He’ll get him back, so let’s not worry Gege while he has so much on his mind.”
Wei Wuxian hummed.
“It’s done!” came a soft, tinkling voice from behind them. Wei Wuxian looked over at Xie Lian, who was ushering them over to the tree. “Let’s go!”
Feng Xin was desperate. The Jiang and Nie sect leaders had been committed to their word and had located healers for all of Qi Rong’s victims. These healers possessed quite the skill, so much so that the ailing mortals were quickly on the mend now…or Qi Rong was that weak and pathetic. But Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang were insistent on confronting the Devastation rank ghost who was responsible for such a distasteful deed and Feng Xin felt that he had no right to deprive them of that. So, he had allowed the two men to accompany them on their quest to locate the green squid and his little son.
Taizi Dianxia, are you there?
The response was almost immediate. I’m here! What is it that you needed, my friend? Feng Xin breathed a sigh of relief. How reassuring it was to hear Xie Lian’s warm voice in his mind.
Have you…paid a visit to your cousin lately?
Qi Rong? Feng Xin could hear the slight frown in Xie Lian’s voice. I haven’t heard from him since he lit General Tai Hua’s - ah, ah, well, San Lang calls it the ‘poop shoot’ - on fire several weeks ago. The fluster in Xie Lian’s tone was obvious. Is everything okay, Feng Xin?
Feng Xin wiped away the sweat pooling on his forehead. Not really, Dianxia. Qi Rong has gone missing and he tried to mimic Crimson Rain Seeking Flower’s blood rain again. He nearly wiped out twenty people today.
“...”
I can’t say I like Qi Rong much at all, Feng Xin. Are the poor mortals doing all right?
Xie Lian never forgot to ensure the wellbeing of the common people. Feng Xin chuckled drily at this interminable habit of Xie Lian’s. Most of them survived. A few have passed on and have unfortunately transformed into spirits of the dead. Crimson Rain Seeking Flower will probably have some new residents in Ghost City.
That’s really too sad, but the more, the merrier, I suppose! I’ll be sure to turn Qi Rong into ghost pulp when we get ahold of him. Guzi will just have to understand that misdeeds come with repercussions. Do you have any leads on where he may be?
Ah, no, Dianxia. We were hoping you would.
We?
General Ming Guang and Mu Qing are assisting me on this mission.
Oh, you’re getting along with Mu Qing? Xie Lian sounded absolutely delighted. Feng Xin scowled at the urge he had to roll his eyes. It had been lurking in the back of his mind for a good while now, but even he had to admit that he had been picking up on some of Mu Qing’s habits recently. He was not pleased with this revelation at all.
It’s getting better, I suppose.
I’m happy for you, my friend.
Dianxia. Feng Xin really needed to steer away Xie Lian from this line of discussion. May I ask you to venture a guess as to where the fucking assface may be?
There was mostly silence in Feng Xin’s mind, except for some soft breathing and a very faint My San Lang is surely the cutest that Feng Xin was sure was meant for no one’s mind save for Xie Lian’s own.
Ah! If I recall correctly, he mentioned that he wanted to visit an art cavern with a magnificently robust sculpture display that just opened up near Wuyong.
“...”
Is everything okay?
Feng Xin choked and Pei Ming clapped his back in an unhelpful, helpful manner. “Dianxia!” he groaned out loud.
“What happened to Dianxia?” Mu Qing immediately pressed.
“Who’s Dianxia?” Nie Huaisang mouthed to Jiang Cheng, who just shrugged.
“Dianxia is fine, but I think I know where Qi Rong is,” replied Feng Xin hollowly.
“Where?” Mu Qing felt his insides curdling.
“The Cave of Ten Thousand Gods.”
“Oh no,” Mu Qing moaned.
“Ho ho,” Pei Ming grinned.
“Look, Lan Zhan! Gentian flowers!” Wei Wuxian squealed, scrambling up the path that led into the entrance of the cave. Flanking the cave were two small, grassy knolls, where the most vibrant, violet flowers blossomed beneath the light of the full moon.
Hua Cheng stared, mouth agape, at Wei Wuxian. Even he had never heard his own voice pitch so high like that. He hadn't even known that it was possible.
Lan Wangji glided behind Wei Wuxian up the path, his eyes luminescent as his gaze tracked all of Wei Wuxian’s ecstatic, swift moves. He felt a warmth like fire in the coldest of nights flourish in his chest as he watched Wei Wuxian pick the flowers and weave them into a crown. Lan Wangji bent down to help, plucking the gentian flowers from the earth and placing them into Wei Wuxian’s hands.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng followed Wei Wuxian’s movements as he bent down to place the flower crown atop Lan Wangji’s head and then showered him with kisses.
Xie Lian felt his smile broaden as Hua Cheng tucked him into his arms. “I really hope we’re not as bad as them,” Xie Lian murmured, stroking Hua Cheng’s eyelids lightly. Even Xie Lian could tell how sleepy Hua Cheng was in his temporary human body.
Hua Cheng gave him an ironic smile, but said nothing.
“San Lang, it is concerning that someone managed to break through the barrier to the cave’s entrance that you and I constructed together.”
“Indeed it is,” Hua Cheng acquiesced, his voice tense. “Though I am boasting, Gege, it is still the truth that our spiritual powers combined are a formidable force. It would take someone of immense strength to break through the seal.”
“Hmm.” Xie Lian assessed the entryway of the cave, scouring over every inch of it. “It could have been many different ‘someones’ who did this.”
“As expected, my Gege’s intelligence knows no bounds,” Hua Cheng said with mirth as he kissed the tips of Xie Lian’s fingers.
“Daozhang, there is a simple way to determine the culprits who broke the seal!” called Wei Wuxian, dragging along a Lan Wangji, who was now bedecked with gential flowers behind his left ear and throughout his long, silky black locks. Lan Wangji himself was holding a very large flower, smelling and smiling at it.
“Pray tell, o annoying one,” deadpanned Hua Cheng, rolling his eyes.
Wei Wuxian stuck his tongue out at Hua Cheng and Xie Lian laughed. “San Lang, Wei-gongzi must be the only human alive who does not fear to incur your wrath.”
“Be grateful that you have a husband as respectable as Hanguang-Jun, Wei Wuxian, or I would have forced you to babysit Quan Yizhen as he stalked his Shixiong. Those would be long days.”
Xie Lian nodded vehemently. “General Qi Ying can be a difficult individual to manage.”
“Eh,” Wei Wuxian shrugged. “I’d just feed him Daozhang’s food and problem solved!”
Xie Lian blinked a few times and then pouted sadly. “I suppose that could work…” Hua back-hugged his husband and glared daggers at Wei Wuxian.
“Wei Ying, be nice,” Lan Wangji reprimanded and then to soften the blow, he plucked several flowers from his own hair and tucked them into Wei Wuxian’s.
“San Lang!” cried Xie Lian, clearly delighted by Lan Wangji’s gesture. “You look so beautiful with those gentian flowers in your hair.”
“Thank you, gege,” Hua Cheng smiled shyly.
This time, it was Wei Wuxian who blinked several times and pouted. He then handed some flowers to Xie Lian. “Daozhang, please also put some flowers into Crimson Rain Seeking Flower’s hair. I want to be complimented by Lan Zhan too.”
“Wei Ying is always pretty. Flowers do not do justice to his beauty.”
Wei Wuxian grinned sheepishly.
“Well, Wei Wuxian,” Hua Cheng prompted. “How do we determine who broke the seal into the cave?”
Wei Wuxian rubbed his chin, turning around to appraise the area. “If I recall correctly, Mount Tonglu possesses tremendous amounts of resentful energy, drawing towards it ghosts and spirits of various ranks. There must be many watching us from afar right at this moment. Surely someone would have seen something in regards to who or what broke the seal.” Wei Wuxian smiled as Lan Wangji brought out his guqin. “Lan Zhan is so smart! He always knows what I’m thinking. Hanguang-Jun can play Inquiry to summon and communicate with the spirits who may have witnessed what has occurred here within the last several days.”
Xie Lian inclined his head in agreement. “As expected, the Gusu Lan sect is admirable in their musical prowess in the cultivation world.” To show his respect, Xie Lian immediately stood up straight, Hua Cheng following his lead. Wei Wuxian stood beside Lan Wangji as he sat down in front of the entrance of the cave, with Wangji secured in his lap. Then he began to play his guqin, the melody solemn, but soothing. Rivulets of green essence rose from the earth and a soft yellowish glow encircled the area.
Within minutes of playing, Xie Lian could hear how alive the mountains had become as they were pelted by whispers from the dead in all directions. Though the night had been dark, the moonlight was still previously abundant. But now, the four men were shrouded in darkness more potent than midnight, save for the melancholic golden light that was emanating from the earth. No doubt, it was the resentful energy that dwelled within this furnace.
A small ghost child peeked out from behind a dogwood tree, cautiously assessing his surroundings, but still intrigued and magnetized by the music that he heard.
“Look, San Lang, a little one has appeared.” Xie Lian nudged Hua Cheng lightly, who nodded.
Hua Cheng bent down and coaxed the child to him with a gentle smile. “Little child, what brings you here to Mount Tonglu?”
The boy furrowed his eyebrows, which gradually eased as he noticed the genuine smile on Hua Cheng’s face. “Xiansheng, I like the dogwood flowers that bloom here and came to watch them.”
“Oh?” Hua Cheng tilted his head. “But these flowers have already wilted. Why have you not gone back home?”
“I-, I saw something strange. The spiritual energy here kept me from leaving, xiansheng.”
“What did you see, my dear?” Xie Lian also bent down next to Hua Cheng, patting the little boy on the head.
The boy, upon catching Xie Lian’s eyes, widened his own, and covered his face with his hands. Hua Cheng chuckled. “He’s enthralled by Dianxia’s kindness and beauty. Really, what human and spirit wouldn’t be?”
Xie Lian blushed and waited for the little boy to respond. The child playfully reached towards Xie Lian’s hands, encouraging him to open his palms. When Xie Lian did, the boy sprinkled some dogwood petals into them and then smiled shyly.
“Th-thank you.” It was not the first time that Xie Lian was baffled by the unbidden kindness that children seemed to show towards him. It had all started over 800 years ago from a small child with bandages wrapped around his little face, who had relentlessly changed his entire existence.
“Daozhang,” chirped the child. “There was a man with snow-white skin dressed in all black, smelling of fish, who came in with a small man with curly hair. They crushed the enchantment array guarding the cave’s entrance and left without entering.”
Hua Cheng: “...”
Xie Lian: “...”
“Do you know who the child is referring to, Crimson Rain Seeking Flower?” Wei Wuxian peeked past Lan Wangji’s shoulder.
“Yes, who else could it be, but General Qi Ying and Black Water Sinking Ships?” crooned an unknown voice from behind them all.
Xie Lian, Hua Cheng, Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian looked in the direction from where the voice had come. Five men stood, three clad in Heavenly garments soaked in blood and two with their respective sect emblems stitched onto their robes, one purple and the other gray. The one in purple was carrying a youth dressed in yellow in his arms.
“Jiang Cheng! Nie-xiong!” Wei Wuxian waved at them. “What brings you to Mount Tonglu?”
Jiang Cheng looked at the man that had just addressed him. He was a tall man in dark, crimson robes with a black patch shrouding his right eye. He didn’t know how, but Jiang Cheng got the distinct impression that one did not want to make themselves an enemy of this man. He, too, has the ability to steal hearts, Jiang Cheng thought with disdain.
“Who are you?” demanded Jiang Cheng. Well, that was tactless.
The red-clad man roared with laughter. “Don’t you recognize me, Jiang Cheng?” And he left it at that.
Jiang Cheng stared. “No, I do not. Are we acquainted, xiansheng?”
The man sniggered. “Oh, we are acquainted very well, sect leader Jiang.” Then he grabbed Lan Wangji and planted a firm kiss on the nape of his neck.
Jiang Cheng’s mouth flung open. “Lan Wangji, just what do you think you’re doing?” he bellowed. “Are you cheating on my shidi, your HUSBAND?!” It was a good thing that Wei Wuxian was not here, for Jiang Cheng would die of shame before defending Wei Wuxian’s honor…like this.
Lan Wangji glared coldly in Jiang Cheng’s direction. “Ridiculous.”
Before a full-blown brawl could break out (instigated by Jiang Cheng, of course), Xie Lian stepped forwards. “All right, all right, gentlemen. Let us solve our problems with words rather than fists. Feng Xin, Mu Qing, General Pei, what brings you to the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods?”
Mu Qing glowered at Xie Lian, but then softened his features. He did not want his Taizi Dianxia to pass out after all. “This is where Qi Rong is expected to be hiding.” He gave Xie Lian a knowing look.
Xie Lian jumped and ran towards his two best friends, shaking Feng Xin from head to toe. “He’s here?! Qi Rong is inside the Hualian cave?” Xie Lian couldn’t help how squeaky his voice sounded. “San Lang, did you hear that?” Hua Cheng stepped out of the shadows and wrapped his arm around Xie Lian’s waist before the small god could plummet to the ground in distress.
What the hell is going on? Jiang Cheng thought. Why is Wei Wuxian with someone other than Lan Wangji?! And why are they–his thoughts began to wheeze–being so intimate?
“Yes, Gege, and apparently, it’s all Black Water and Quan Yizhen’s faults. Obviously, I will add this barbarity to Black Water’s debts, but Gege, you should see to it that Quan Yizhen gets punished thoroughly.”
Xie Lian yelped, “No- no seeing Yin Yu for a month!” And with that, he stomped into the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods. Hua Cheng hurriedly thanked the little ghost boy and directed him in the direction of Ghost City before sprinting after Xie Lian.
Somewhere in the world, despite the dire circumstances he was in, Yin Yu felt a sudden urge to hug the Crown Prince of Xian Le and breathe in relief, though he had no idea why.
Pei Ming was always astounded by just how intelligent, handsome, and shrewd he was. He knew he had a good reason to bring a scroll of paper and a quill with everlasting ink with him. It must have been his sixth sense that had warned him to do so, for if he had not, he would never have been able to immortalize in his mind the sheer deliciousness that the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods beheld. It was tiresome always being creative, and quite frankly, he had run out of content to write about in his Hualian fanfictions. But now, he was standing amidst the greatest inspiration of them all: the statues of Taizi Dianxia and the Ghost King, crafted by the Ghost King himself with some assistance from Taizi Dianxia. He had heard the rumors many times, sure, but the rumors really could not do this wondrous cave justice! After several palm torches had been lit by the Heavenly officials, Pei Ming immediately began scrawling down everything he witnessed in the caves. It was all very marvelous: Taizi Dianxia being pushed on the swings by a little Hua Chengzhu, a youthful Hua Chengzhu weaving flowers into Taizi Dianxia’s hair, and ho ho!, was that Hua Chengzhu on top of…in that position??? He had heard from Feng Xin and Mu Qing that the statues here often came alive, but this evening, they remained still and lifeless, no movement detectable at all. No matter, at least he got to witness the beauty of the legendary Hualian statues. Pei Ming really was confounded: Just where had he stumbled upon such fortuitous luck?
Taizi Dianxia was wheezing in mortification and for some odd reason, Hua Cheng was excitedly inspecting each statue as if he had never before encountered them. A rather short gentleman with a long ponytail tied in a red ribbon was standing stiffly next to Taizi Dianxia, his eyes misted over in anger. A very tall and handsome man clad in all white with gentian flowers weaving through his hair was attempting to coax Hua Cheng to his side. How peculiar.
As expected, thought Jiang Cheng, eyeing Pei Ming furtively. General Ming Guang is dedicated to his work, taking notes so thoroughly to send to the Heavenly Capital as soon as possible.
“San Lang! We have to find that disappointment quickly!” Xie Lian attempted to holler, though his attempt was feeble; he was so embarrassed, he could barely speak.
“Please relax, Gege. I’m on it,” soothed Hua Cheng, stroking Xie Lian’s back up and down. Pei Ming, Mu Qing, Feng Xin, Jiang Cheng, and Nie Huaisang gawked as the red-ribboned man comforted Xie Lian rather affectionately. They found this exchange very bizarre.
Feng Xin shot a questioning look at the man who he presumed was Hua Cheng, but the man just shrugged and walked over to the tall, silent man dressed in all white.
“Mu Qing,” Feng Xin whispered, sidling over to him. “It must be that we are in a fever dream or have inhaled some kind of natural hallucinogen. Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“En,” Mu Qing agreed grimly. “In what era would Xie Lian and Crimson Rain Seeking Flower be so blatantly unfaithful towards each other?”
“Wei Wuxian!” Feng Xin and Mu Qing both turned to look at the red-ribboned man, who had called out to…Hua Cheng??? “Release my silver butterflies to scour over the cave. They’ll locate that fucking green idiot.”
“But I don’t know how to control them.” Was that Hua Cheng whining?
“Just release them. They can read Gege’s distressed mood and will know what to do of their own accord.”
“Hua Cheng” nodded and released some of those horrid, silver wraith butterflies. Mu Qing, Feng Xin, and Pei Ming all ducked as the butterflies rushed past them deeper into the recesses of the cave.
“Crimson Rain Seeking Flower…?” Mu Qing attempted to call tentatively.
“What?” challenged the red-ribboned man in a cold voice.
“You’re Crimson Rain Seeking Flower? Then who's that man who looks like you?”
The red-ribboned man gritted his teeth and beckoned “Hua Cheng” and the tall, silent man towards him. “This is Wei Wuxian, the renowned Yiling Patriarch who is a harbinger for disaster.” He pointed at “Hua Cheng”. Feng Xin, Mu Qing, Pei Ming, Jiang Cheng (who was turning a very dark shade of purple), and Nie Huaisang gaped at him. “I am Hua Cheng. Wei Wuxian and I were forced to trade souls after Wei Wuxian stole from my private collection of wines that had been confiscated because they had dangerous effects. He then hid them in this very cave and I will be damned if the Night-Touring Green Lantern has not located them yet.” Hua Cheng said all of this rather stoically, but had he not looked so furious, Feng Xin doubted that any of them would have believed him.
“Your highness,” Pei Ming said, shaking his head remorsefully, “You really have the poorest luck, huh?”
Xie Lian made little noises of tortured agreement.
“WEI WUXIAN?” screeched Jiang Cheng, attempting to lunge at Hua Cheng’s body if not for Nie Huaisang and Mu Qing holding him back. “Just what were you thinking, stealing from the Ghost King?”
Wei Wuxian scrunched up his face in shame and there was no doubt in Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang’s minds that Wei Wuxian was indeed wearing Hua Cheng’s skin currently. “I was bored, okay? Lan Zhan was being a good father and teaching the children and I got bored, so I went to Ghost City! How was I to know that the stash of wine hidden in a covert corner of the Gambler’s Den, where not even the Ghost King’s servants are allowed, would house such a dangerous drink?!”
The deadly silence was palpable. Not even the wind wanted to sweep through the murderous air.
“Hanguang-Jun,” said Hua Cheng with deathly calm. “Please allow me to bury Wei Wuxian alive, just this once.”
“No.”
“Un-be-liev-able.” Nie Huaisang fanned himself. “When it comes to trouble, you are insurmountable, Wei-xiong.”
Wei Wuxian coughed meekly.
“Hello?” called a low, almost dead voice from the mouth of the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods. There was a tinkling of metal as the man adjusted himself to allow a second man to enter. “Pardon us for the intrusion, but is anyone here?”
“Zewu-Jun,” said Wen Ning, “I think I hear voices further in the cave.”
“Let us investigate then,” Lan Xichen croaked, leading the way deeper into the cave, with Wen Ning flanking his side. It took some incense of time before they located from where the voices had risen.
“Brother?” murmured Lan Wangji, looking first at the body of Lan Xichen before sliding his eyes towards Wen Ning.
Wei Wuxian’s single eye alighted in excitement. “Wen Ning! Zewu-Jun! It’s good to see you again. How are the children?”
Wen Ning ogled the tall, dark, and handsome man with the single eye who now harbored Wei Wuxian’s soul. “Mn, it’s good to see you too, gongzi. A-Yuan wishes to see you home. He misses you.”
Wei Wuxian gasped and looked down at his feet. “We’ll be home soon, right, Hanguang-Jun?”
“Mn.”
Xie Lian was still a little pink, but it seemed that he had calmed down after pulling out six different weapons from his satchel, including four different swords, two in each of his hands. “I’m ready to see Qi Rong,” he sang.
Hua Cheng quickly pulled E’ming from Xie Lian’s grasp, but squeezed his shoulder in comfort. It did not take long for Hua Cheng’s wraith butterflies to locate the Night-Touring Green Lantern. They flew past Wei Wuxian and stopped in front of Hua Cheng in Wei Wuxian’s body. Xie Lian could not help but feel proud; the butterflies really knew who their true master was. Of course his San Lang had trained them well.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng peeked into the butterflies, the rest of the men in the room scuttling behind them to get a good look as well. Qi Rong was sitting at the head of a very long, splintered table. His bulbous head was bent low as he devoured something that was screaming. Candles were lit in the center and chipped trays were laid out rather garishly on the surface. On the trays sat black, striated meat oozing thick dark liquid that was gliding off of the table’s edge and onto the cave floor. Jiang Cheng was quite sure that his sister's precious pork rib and lotus root soup was amongst the dishes there...and a lot of it too. On the corners were mahogany jars of wine, at least four of them. A young boy, who Xie Lian presumed was Guzi (he couldn’t quite tell due to poor lighting), was crouched just outside of the large room, making little dolls out of what looked like bones. A faint crying sound was wafting through the room.
“That meat does not look appetizing at all,” Nie Huaisang supplied unhelpfully, his face gray with nausea.
“Shhh, the green toad is saying something!” Mu Qing hushed.
Qi Rong was chewing on a bone and staring up at the ceiling. “Don’t expect that fish fucker to come find you. He’s probably busy trying to poison my cousin’s fucking husband. Wish he’d involve this ancestor; I’d gladly help poison that fucking Hua Cheng.”
Xie Lian peeked at Hua Cheng, who grimaced.
“Oi, Night-Touring Green Lantern! Let me go this instant! How could you try to eat a homeless man who’s missing limbs? Have you no shame? Well, of course you don’t. I swear I don’t taste good at all! Taizi Dianxia was not kidding when he said that you were classless,” cried a voice that was hovering somewhere above Qi Rong.
Qi Rong stopped chewing on his bone. “HE, HE DARE SAY THAT ABOUT ME!? XIE LIAN, YOU DOG FUCKER! COME SAY THAT TO THIS ANCESTOR’S FACE WHEN YOU AREN’T BUSY SWAPPING YOUR DISGUSTING SPIT WITH HUA CHENG!”
Xie Lian: “...”
Hua Cheng: “...”
“Taizi Dianxia, can’t we just lock him with Jun Wu?” Feng Xin muttered.
Xie Lian was about to slap a hand over his own face in shame before Hua Cheng caught it and cradled it in his arms. “Gege, look, he’s got those green fires floating in the air again. He’s still recuperating from his most recent demise, so we may be able to unlock the fires without him. We just need access to the password.”
“Green fires?” Lan Wangji asked.
“Qi Rong has these password-protected fires that can incinerate anyone or anything at his will if he unlocks them with his personally-established password. They can be very dangerous in his hands,” explained Xie Lian.
“He seems creative enough,” surmised Lan Xichen, a hint of amusement lacing his words. “Do you have any idea what the password may be?”
“Knowing that assface,” grunted Hua Cheng, “It’s probably the same password as last time.”
“...Which was…?” Wei Wuxian pressed.
“Don’t make me say it,” Hua Cheng snarled. “And for the record, Gege, I love your spit.”
“Thank you, San Lang!” beamed Xie Lian, settling his head atop Hua Cheng’s shoulder.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Ugh, they’re as bad as you two!” He slapped Wei Wuxian on the back and eyed Lan Wangji.
Wei Wuxian coughed lightly. “It seems like the Green Ghost has humans dangling from the roof of the cave. If they are still speaking, some may still be alive.”
“Yes,” Xie Lian said cheerfully. “We must rescue them. My cousin is a notorious cannibal, you see.”
Wei Wuxian: “...”
Lan Wangji: “...”
Lan Xichen: “...”
Jiang Cheng: “...”
Wen Ning: “...”
Nie Huaisang: “I think I’m going to be sick.” And with that, he fainted.
“Just leave him there,” grumbled Jiang Cheng. Feng Xin dragged Nie Huaisang to a corner of the cave where Jin Ling was resting. He fanned Nie Huasaing and Jin Ling a little for good measure before rejoining Xie Lian.
“Taizi Dianxia, I do not mean to add to your worries, but was that not the voice of the Wind Master?” Pei Ming queried, squeezing his head between Lan Xichen’s and Jiang Cheng’s (who, by the way, was blushing furiously) to obtain a full view of the little scrap-collecting god.
“I think so too, General Pei. Really!” Xie Lian huffed, frowning. “What was Qi Rong thinking, kidnapping the Wind Master? San Lang, do you have any idea where He Xuan is?”
“Oh, I may have a faint idea, Gege.” Hua Cheng’s face had darkened as he gulped. “Wei Wuxian, contact Black Water in my spiritual communication array to see if you can obtain any additional information we may need.”
Wei Wuxian nodded, looking rather delighted, and pressed his fingers to his temples. Lan Wangji smiled at him.
They all turned towards Wei Wuxian when there was a loud BANG! emanating from Hua Cheng’s butterfly.
“Sorry, Dad!” squealed Guzi. “I didn’t mean to!”
“It’s okay, my cheap son,” croaked Qi Rong. Hua Cheng inched his face closer to the butterfly. Was that adoration for his son in Qi Rong’s eyes? “What are you making, son?”
“I was making some dolls from the human bones you gave me.”
“Good thing sect leader Nie has already fainted,” muttered Mu Qing.
Qi Rong barked out a laugh. “Come here so this ingenious dad of yours can boast of your talents.”
“Uh, Daozhang,” whispered Wen Ning. “I do not think that he is using the word “ingenious” correctly.”
“Yes,” Xie Lian agreed. “Qi Rong is an idiot.”
They watched as Guzi shuffled towards Qi Rong, cradling several ugly doll-like bones with what looked horribly like human hair sticking out from odd places. “This is Scrap Gege, this is Stalker Gege, this is Man-Whore Gege, this is Resting Bitch Face Gege, and this is the Gege who produces creepy demon children.”
Xie Lian: “...”
Hua Cheng: “...”
Pei Ming: “...”
Mu Qing: “...”
Feng Xin, affronted: “Cuo Cuo isn’t a demon child, he’s a ghost!”
Jiang Cheng, Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, and Wen Ning side-eyed them.
“Crimson Rain Seeking Flower!” chimed in Wei Wuxian. “As you expected, Black Water is indeed in that room with the Green Ghost, who is none the wiser.”
“Good, at least Black Water seems to know what he is doing. Is Yin Yu and Quan Yizhen also in the room?”
Wei Wuxian turned slightly away, his fingers tapping his temples yet again. Then a short while later, he responded, “That faint crying sound that you heard in the background is General Qi Ying. Yin Yu is trying not to slap him with the Earth Master’s shovel, but he seems very annoyed with the General.”
Mu Qing swallowed thickly. “Poor Shixiong…if I had a disciple like that, I would have used the Earth Master’s shovel and dug him under Mount Tonglu.”
“What a coincidence,” smirked Hua Cheng. “I was planning on doing that to Wei Wuxian.”
“Do not hurt Wei Ying,” warned Lan Wangji, his eyes cold.
“San Lang!” scolded Xie Lian with an exasperated smile on his face. “You promised that you wouldn’t kill anyone without a solid justifiable reason this year!”
Hua Cheng chuckled before he said sheepishly, “But Gege, I haven’t killed him yet, it was just a threat.”
“Oh,” Xie Lian said, turning pink. “We did say that threats were fine, didn’t we?”
Jiang Cheng was gaping at the married couple as if he had seen none like them before.
“You’ll have to excuse them,” Pei Ming whispered, inching towards Jiang Cheng’s ear, before Jiang Cheng jerked back. “Taizi Dianxia and Hua Chengzhu were alone for nearly 800 years before they found each other. Their sense of…everything is a little off. If you’re interested in reading about their relationship, though, I know of a very popular novel that you can buy in almost all of the bigger towns, and I hear that a volume two is in the works!”
“N- not really interested,” stuttered Jiang Cheng. “But thank you for the recommendation.”
“Well,” announced Wei Wuxian. “Now that we have accounted for where everyone is, we might as well enter the demon’s lair.”
“First thing is first,” Hua Cheng added. “Grab a hold of any jar of wine that you may find. We do not need any more souls getting exchanged tonight.”
“It is really weird seeing Wei Wuxian so tall and so, let’s be real, ethereally handsome,” muttered Jiang Cheng to no one but himself.
Qi Rong wanted to murder and then devour the chef who had prepared his human meat this evening. The seasoning was off and the meat had not been cooked well enough. He also felt an uneasiness crawling in his innards (or what was left of them) that would not seem to dissipate. It was really putting a damper on his rather large ego of having managed to kidnap the Wind Master, the Waning Moon Officer, and General Qi Ying in his sorry state. Be that as it may though, at least his dog fucker of a cousin was not here to ambush him. He was already having a bad day, he did not need goody-two-shoes Xie Lian barging in on him at the moment.
“We need to determine the password to Qi Rong’s green fires. There is little chance of human survival if he decides to unlock those fires in this cave,” Xie Lian reminded them all and then added in a small voice, “Also, the Hualian statues are here and it would be nice if they weren’t burned. I like them very much.”
Hua Cheng pecked Xie Lian lightly on the crown of his head. “Don’t worry, gege, nothing is going to happen to our statues.”
“Yes, Taizi Dianxia, Hua Chengzhu,” Pei Ming concurred smoothly. “I’ll personally see to it that nothing happens to them.”
Xie Lian grinned. “Thank you, San Lang, General Pei.”
“Which one of us is most likely to win over the heart of a child?” asked Feng Xin. “We need Guzi to get the password out of Qi Rong.”
“Jiang Cheng,” joked Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng placed a hand on Zidian threateningly.
“My brother,” responded Lan Wangji.
Wei Wuxian laughed. “The only problem, Lan-er Gege, is that Zewu-Jun isn’t actually in his body at the moment.”
“I think that Wen-gongzi will be able to manage being me,” Lan Xichen said, patting Wen Ning on the shoulder. “He is inherently kind, after all.”
Guzi was busy ripping the Resting Bitch Face Gege’s limbs from his body (just as his dad had shown him), when a very beautiful and kind-looking man had quietly approached him and knelt down at his height.
“H-hello,” he said softly.
“Hullo,” Guzi greeted back. “Who are you?”
“My name is Lan Xichen.”
Guzi’s little eyes widened in shock. “Zewu-Jun?! I’ve heard of you while traveling with my dad! Is it true you’re the nicest person alive?”
Wen Ning scratched his cheek. “I try to be kind to those regardless of whether they are deserving of it or not.”
“Oh? Dad says to treat people who treat me badly like scum.”
Wen Ning wanted to cry for the little boy. Just what was Qi Rong teaching him?? “You shouldn’t do that, little one. If you treat those who you don’t like poorly, then they will not see you for who you truly are. They will only learn that you are one who causes them hurt. Do you want that?”
Guzi’s mouth wavered. “No, I don’t want that. I want to be seen as a good person, like you Zewu-Jun.”
“Then can you do me a favor, little one?”
“Guzi, my name is Guzi.”
“Okay, Guzi, can you do something for me?”
“Yes, Zewu-Jun.”
Wen Ning patted Guzi’s head and attempted to pour as much affection as he could into the gesture. “There are people inside that room with your dad who are very precious to me. I need you to help me get them out.”
Guzi nodded enthusiastically, but then hesitated. “Dad would be sad if I betrayed him like that…”
“Guzi, sweet child, your dad will kill many innocent lives if we do not rescue them. Do you want more murder on your dad’s hands?” Wen Ning didn’t think this was something appropriate to be discussing with a child, but from what he gathered, Guzi had had quite an eon’s worth of unnatural experiences. He was a strong kid.
“No, Zewu-Jun, I don’t.” Then, with his eyes shining with determination, Guzi said, “What would you like me to do?”
“I need the password to your dad’s green fires.”
“Oh, like Scrap Gege wanted me to figure out a few years ago! I can do that!” And with that, Guzi bounded up and shuffled back into his dad’s lair.
After several seconds, the other nine men joined Wen Ning at the edge of the room where Qi Rong was enjoying his very disgusting meal.
“Dad, why are you using the green fires again? Last time, didn’t they backfire on you? Maybe you should douse them out.” They could hear Guzi suggesting.
There was a choking sound from Qi Rong. “Nonsense, you cheap son! It is one of the strongest powers that this ancestor possesses!”
“More like the only power he possesses,” muttered Mu Qing, rolling his eyes.
“B-but if something goes wrong, like you get food poisoning, I think you should let Guzi know what the password is, so that you don’t die from the fire again!”
Xie Lian and Wei Wuxian scrunched up their faces as they heard noises of slurping emanating from the room. Jiang Cheng was impressed; this little boy was rather crafty and bright. Even his Jin Ling wasn’t at this level yet! Wen Ying was glowing with pride for Guzi.
“Why do you need the password?” There was suspicion clouding Qi Rong’s voice.
“I- I just want to make sure dad is safe! I don’t want him to get hurt again. It was horrible the last time!” There was so much honesty in the little boy’s voice that if Wen Ning had a heart, it would break for him. Oh wait, he did have a heart currently and it did feel like it was breaking.
Qi Rong stopped eating. “Well, all right.” It was the sanest Xie Lian had ever heard him sound. “It’s ‘Manwhore Pei Ming, what salve did you use to get rid of all your sores’?”
Pei Ming flinched. “Now really! I only got infected with them once and they went away after several hours! Just what kind of rumors is he spreading?”
The green fires came crashing down, extinguished as if by invisible water.
“Now!” Xie Lian whispered, barging into the room.
“Scrap Gege!”
“Guzi!” Xie Lian ran towards the little boy and hugged him quickly before Wen Ning grabbed him and placed him outside the room.
“Stay out here, please,” Wen Ning said. “We’ll only be a few minutes. We’re not going to hurt your dad, just bring him back to safety.” Guzi nodded, reassured.
“AARGH!!! DOG FUCKER XIE LIAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” demanded Qi Rong, rising from his seat, attempting to run after him before being ambushed by Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.
“Wei Ying, are you doing all right?” Lan Wangji easily blocked one of Qi Rong’s attacks, his eyes searching Wei Wuxian’s.
Wei Wuxian waved his hand nonchalantly. “Yes, Hanguang-Jun, I’m fine. I’m still just not used to all this spiritual power that Crimson Rain Seeking Flower has.”
“Mn, just be careful and lean on me when you need to.”
“Always, Lan Zhan.”
“Hua Chengzhu,” called Yin Yu weakly. Hua Cheng glanced up at the ceiling: Yin Yu was tied by the ankles, dangling upside down from the roof of the cave like a human stalactite. Quan Yizhen was dangling next to him, attempting to hug him. Hua Cheng did not know whether to laugh or cry, but he knew that he felt pity for his Waning Moon Officer. He immediately ran up to untie the man. “I presume that Black Water filled you in on what happened to my body?”
“Yes, sir,” Yin Yu replied.
“Crimson Rain Seeking Flower, what about me?” cried Quan Yizhen.
“You’ll be fine,” Hua Cheng snickered.
Xie Lian rushed past a red-faced Ke Mo, to greet Shi Qingxuan, both of whom were also suspended from the cave’s ceiling. Shi Qingxuan eyed Xie Lian, relieved. “My second best friend! Am I glad to see you! How have you been? I feel like we haven’t talked in ages! Will you not come to see me in my humble abode in the coming days?”
Xie Lian laughed as he gently untied the Wind Master from the ropes to which he was bound. “It is so good to see you too, Wind Master. I will try to come by after San Lang’s calligraphy lessons, so it’ll be some time in the evening. When is a good day for you?”
Shi Qingxuan began muttering to himself, attempting to recall his schedule. “How about three evenings from now. Does that sound good to you?”
“San Lang, do we have anything planned three evenings from now?” Xie Lian called from across the room.
“No, Gege,” San Lang responded loudly. “Is there somewhere Dianxia would like for us to go?”
“The Wind Master wants us to visit him.”
“Of course, Gege, anything for you, always. Yin Yu, did you hear that?”
“Yes, Hua Chengzhu, I’ll be sure to keep your evening free three days from now.” Hua Cheng nodded at Yin Yu as Yin Yu shook his feet, as if they had been asleep.
“Shixiong!” whined Quan Yizhen.
Yin Yu swerved around and glared at Quan Yizhen. “You, stay there and be good.” And off he ran, looking for Black Water, Hua Cheng following him.
“Ke Mo, what are you doing here?” Xie Lian asked, puzzled, staring up at the large man who was once the head general of the Banyue Kingdom.
“The Green Ghost kidnapped me.” Ke Mo seemed tired, scrutinizing the chaos unfolding around him. “Wait, is that General Ming Guang whom I see? Get me down! I have business to finish with his Pei Xiu!” He began struggling with his ropes.
As Qi Rong was running away, he realized that he had never been more terrified in the near millennium that he had existed. Just where had all these very strong fuckers come from?? He was not nearly as intelligent as Xie Lian nor as clever as Hua Cheng, but it did not take a genius to figure out that the two individuals who were giving chase to him right now were a power force to be reckoned with, one of which was Hua Cheng himself. But the tall, silent man with the white ribbon accompanying Hua Cheng, who was he?
Hua Cheng was giggling in a way that Qi Rong just found plain wrong. It did not match the Ghost King’s natural temperament at all!
“Hey Hua Cheng, you fucker! JUST HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU DO IT WITH MY COUSIN TODAY FOR YOU TO BE THIS GIDDY? IF IT’S AS MANY TIMES AS I HAVE SEEN YOUR STATUES GO AT IT IN THIS DISGUSTING CAVE, THEN YOU’RE BOTH AS BAD AS PEI MING! P’TUI, P’TUI, P’TUI!”
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Xie Lian and either Hua Cheng or Wei Wuxian. Xie Lian had dragged the top of his cultivation robes above his head and had hidden his face inside of them. Pei Ming had his scroll and quill out again. The real Hua Cheng was storming towards Qi Rong, but was smacked by something heavy in the back. Hua Cheng turned slowly to look at his attacker. Of course, it was Quan Yizhen, who shouted, “Give me back Shixiong!”
From inside of Xie Lian’s robes came a very muffled, “San Lang, remember your promise not to kill anyone without a justifiable reason, my love!”
“But Gege, this is a justifiable reason,” Hua Cheng frowned. “Hanguang-Jun, if I recall, the Gusu Lan sect is adept at the silencing spell. If I may humbly request for you to silence this trash?” He pointed at Quan Yizhen.
Lan Wangji nodded and cast the spell before turning back to Qi Rong again.
Qi Rong had used the momentary distraction to grab one of the jars of Hua Cheng’s wine. He ran ahead, the jar sloshing its contents in all directions. Some landed in Quan Yizhen’s nostrils and some in Qi Rong’s mouth.
Lan Wangi’s silencing spell did not last long before the wine entered Quan Yizhen’s sinuses and he switched souls with the Green Ghost. “Shixiong!” screeched Quan Yizhen in Qi Rong’s grating voice, running after Yin Yu, who yelped and darted away, hiding behind Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji.
“For fuck’s sake!” cried Yin Yu, his ears turning pink. He rarely ever cursed, but Quan Yizhen…that fluffy idiot really goaded his emotions. “Hua Chengzu, please do something!” Hua Cheng rolled his eyes before a puff of red smoke billowed off of Quan Yizhen and he was transformed into a daruma doll, which immediately began screeching. Yin Yu bowed in gratitude at Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji before plucking Quan Yizhen from Hua Cheng’s hands and stuffing the little doll into his pocket. The doll went silent, no doubt content in his Shixiong’s presence.
The jar of wine that Qi Rong had been holding had been tossed into the air before splashing this way and that. As they were all in the presence of Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Feng Xin knew they were in for the worst luck imaginable, so when they tasted the sweet tartness of the wine, they were not surprised. They waited only briefly before they felt their souls slipping from their bodies.
“Xie Lian,” grumbled Mu Qing in Feng Xin’s body. “Tell Crimson Rain Seeking Flower that the wine is a little too sweet. Also, you need to fix this.” He motioned at his body.
“Soon,” quipped Feng Xin in Mu Qing’s body.
Xie Lian rubbed at his temples. “I’ll be sure to take note of that, Mu Qing, no Feng Xin, Mu Qing? I’m sorry, who are you right now?”
Mu Qing, in Feng Xin’s body, rolled his eyes while Feng Xin, in Mu Qing’s body, ripped the longbow from his own person. “Ah, Mu Qing then.” They glared at Xie Lian. “Please don’t be angry, my friends! Let’s try to find the humor in all of this.” Mu Qing rolled his eyes yet again and Feng Xin quirked an eyebrow. “Ah, ah, for example, this situation takes the phrase, ‘You can't understand until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes’ to a whole new level, huh?” Xie Lian coughed lightly before running from them.
“Hanguang-Jun, have you gathered all the jars of wine?” asked Wei Wuxian. He wiped the sweat that had curled up along his eyebrows. Really, Hua Cheng’s spiritual energy felt all-consuming!
“Mn. I will dispose of them properly.” Lan Wangji slipped the jars into his cultivation robes and turned towards his husband. “Wei Ying, watch out!”
Wei Wuxian, who had been standing in front of the dangling Qi Rong, was struck in the head by Qi Rong’s knee. But this did not faze him, for he had suffered worse. “There is no need to worry about me, Lan Zhan. I’m fine.”
Wei Wuxian immediately lunged at Qi Rong, but it was Lan Wangji who roundhouse kicked Qi Rong in the face three times. “No one will ever hurt Wei Ying again.”
Wei Wuxian ran up to Lan Wangji and trapped him in his arms. “Oh Lan-er Gege, please don’t soil your robes with the grease from this lowlife.” Wei Wuxian furrowed his brows at Qi Rong. “I really hope that doesn’t leave a mark on General Qi Ying’s face.”
Lan Wangji shrugged, unfazed, tightening his hold around Wei Wuxian. Qi Rong had passed out from the sheer force of Lan Wangji’s kicks.
Pei Ming really did not have time for all this nonsense for he had just discovered what room they were located in at this very moment. The mural inside the room depicted Xie Lian and Hua Cheng submerged underwater with Xie Lian wearing female garments. They were both locked in a tight embrace as Hua Cheng wrapped his arm around Xie Lian’s waist and Xie Lian dug his hands into Hua Cheng’s chest. Both were kissing passionately. Pei Ming was writing furiously on his scroll when he felt a mind-numbing pain crackle along his back. He turned sluggishly to discover that a man, nearly nine feet tall, was glaring daggers at him. He wore a turbulent expression, breathing heavily.
“Ah General Ke Mo, we have to stop meeting for at least the next millennium,” Pei Ming grinned foolishly. “Is there something you wanted?”
“I want your Pei Xiu killed.”
“Now, now, General, that’s not very nice,” Pei Ming scolded him, walking steadily backwards, though dizzy from the sheer force of the strike he had just sustained. He quickly entered his spiritual communication array.
Taizi Dianxia, if I may humbly request your assistance!
Xie Lian was helping a haggard and very exhausted Shi Qingxuan out of the room when he received the message. His gaze dashed around the room, searching for Pei Ming, who had been cornered into the perimeters of the brutish Ke Mo. Jiang Cheng was surreptitiously standing behind Ke Mo, Zidian sizzling in his hands.
San Lang! Xie Lian called, instinctively entering his communication array with Hua Cheng. General Pei needs our help!
Daozhang, your San Lang is not here right now. But do not worry. Lan Zhan and I will see to it that he is safe!
Xie Lian grinned. He was beginning to think that he would miss Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji when all of this was said and done. However, he could not help but think that this day had been one of the longest that Xie Lian had ever endured. Xie Lian shuffled Shi Qingxuan, who had nearly fallen asleep, towards the entryway of the room.
“Taizi Dianxia,” whispered a menacing voice from behind Xie Lian. Xie Lian turned. He was now face to face with Black Water, who was gliding across the floor as if a spectre lying in wait. “Let me take care of the Wind Master. This time of night really fatigues him.”
Xie Lian held Shi Qingxuan tightly. “I only want him to be safe. Will he be so, He Xuan, in your hands?”
He Xuan, who had held out his arms for Shi Qingxuan, hesitated.
“Yes, Gege, the Wind Master is in good hands with Black Water,” said a soft voice from somewhere ahead of them. Xie Lian found Hua Cheng leaning against a wall, a calculating look piercing He Xuan. “Do not worry, Gege. He Xuan cares for the Wind Master deeply.” Then he approached Xie Lian and added quietly into the shell of his ear, “He watches over the Wind Master every night.”
“En, if San Lang says so, then I will forfeit the Wind Master to you, Black Water.” Xie Lian shuffled the now snoring man into Black Water’s arms, who scooped him up and fled into the darkness.
Ke Mo was a gargantuan man. Lan Xichen had never seen a fierce corpse as massive as this man was, not even Nie Mingjue. He thought glumly of Chifeng-Zun before attempting to quietly approach the massive general, who had eyes for no one but General Ming Guang.
Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, General Xuan Zhen, and General Nan Yang were surrounding the feral man from behind, awaiting their turn to strike.
“Wangji,” muttered Lan Xichen, tapping his younger brother on the shoulder.
“Brother?”
“This man’s resentful energy is increasing almost immeasurably. I do not think that the Hualian statues will survive if we were to restrain him here. There are also Huaisang, sect leader Jin Ling, and the child, Guzi, to think about. We must lure him into the open air.”
Wei Wuxian inspected all of Ke Mo’s moves as he inched closer to Pei Ming. He wiped the beads of perspiration on his jaw. “I also think that there is no other choice, Zewu-Jun. I do not know what is between them, but the animosity that this warrior has for General Ming Guang will be difficult to tame. Hanguang-Jun, do you have Chenqing? Hua Cheng is a ghost king with plenty of demonic energy, so I should be able to control him myself even while contained in this body.”
Lan Wangji tore Wei Wuxian’s flute from the depths of his cultivation robes.
“Wei-gongzi,” said Xie Lian, stepping in between Mu Qing and Feng Xin. “I have never seen General Ke Mo’s resentful energy to be this potent before. It must be some of the spiritual effects of this cave. If you are able to lure him outside, there are other spirits and fledgling ghosts that must be shielded from his energy, otherwise they may also be imbued with his resentment.”
Hua Cheng smiled at Xie Lian. “Gege has a soft spot for children, but he does not need to worry. I have sent that little boy to Ghost City.” Xie beamed back at him, looking less apprehensive.
“I will set up a night-attack array,” insisted Lan Wangji.
“We will guard General Ming Guang,” Feng Xin offered, shoving Mu Qing towards Pei Ming, who had almost lost consciousness.
“It doesn’t make any sense, though.” Jiang Cheng glanced quickly at Xie Lian and Hua Cheng for clarification, but continued to guard himself from Ke Mo. “Isn’t General Ming Guang a Heavenly official? Why is the spiritual energy of this cave affecting General Ke Mo, but it has little to no effect on General Ming Guang or any of you guys?” He motioned at Xie Lian, Feng Xin, and Mu Qing.
Hua Cheng pointed up towards the ceiling at the limp Qi Rong in Quan Yizhen’s body. “The Green trash up there. He probably colluded with a Heavenly official during his recuperation in the Heavenly Realm to obtain enough spiritual energy to gain the upper hand. He must have used a spell that selectively takes spiritual energy from a Heavenly official and gives it to a ghost. It is for this reason that he was able to recuperate so quickly and wreak havoc here. It is also the reason why General Pei is losing his energy because Ke Mo is stealing it from him. The cave serves as an insulator.”
“Huh,” Wei Wuxian said, thoughtfully. “If I had any ounce of intelligence, I would attempt to steal spiritual energy from the most powerful Heavenly official here.” He pointedly stared at Xie Lian.
Xie Lian coughed lightly.
“Ah, but Taizi Dianxia has exchanged spiritual energy with me.” Hua Cheng tilted his head fondly at Xie Lian and puffed out his chest in pride. Wei Wuxian kicked Hua Cheng. “Wei Wuxian, though you may be in my body, the spiritual power is all mine.” He kicked Wei Wuxian back. “The spiritual power coursing through Dianxia is strong enough to withstand any external force that attempts to take it from him. Ke Mo and the Green Ghost can try, but it will be a fruitless attempt.”
“Uh g-gen, gentlemen,” wheezed Pei Ming from behind Ke Mo. “If I may so… kindly ask…can we keep the discussion… to a minimum? I really would ap-appreciate… the assistance and…General K-Ke Mo doesn’t look too…good.”
Indeed, wisps of the earth around Ke Mo began enveloping him before gaining speed. A tempest had been borne from his resentful energy, which was quickly flying at Lan Wangji, Lan Xichen, and Jiang Cheng. The three men jumped back, climbing onto the large stalactites taut on the cave ceiling. Mu Qing and Feng Xin grabbed onto Pei Ming and hoisted him away from Ke Mo. Wei Wuxian wasted no time and began playing Chenqing. Lan Wangji whipped down from the ceiling to swiftly tie Wei Wuxian’s hair into a neat ponytail when Hua Cheng’s long locks began whipping through the air from the force of Ke Mo’s torrent. Wei Wuxian smiled against Chenqing, but continued to play.
Ke Mo’s torso twisted to face the sound of the flute, lured in by the mystique that it held. Wei Wuxian steadily walked backwards out of the cavernous room, Ke Mo following him in a trance. Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian, guiding him along the rocky path so as to not disturb the Hualian statues. Wen Ning was waiting outside, Guzi fast asleep in his arms.
“I’ll grab sect leader Nie and young master Jin Ling,” Wen Ning informed them, before he was gone in a flash.
Xie Lian and Hua Cheng joined Lan Xichen on the roof of the cave. “Zewu-Jun,” Xie Lian surveyed Wei Wuxian and Ke Mo from above. “I do not think that Wei-gongzi’s flute will work for long. He is still in San Lang’s body and San Lang’s fingers are not well acquainted with Chenqing. We must be able to subdue General Ke Mo the moment we are outside. I will need your help.”
“Of course, Taizi Dianxia,” Lan Xichen responded with a smile. “I will do whatever I can.”
They had all just left the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods when Wei Wuxian’s Chenqing could no longer control Ke Mo. He roared, his scream ricocheting off of the mountains, lunging for Wei Wuxian’s neck. Lan Wangji strummed his guqin rapidly at Ke Mo before the fierce corpse could even touch Wei Wuxian. Simultaneously, Lan Xichen used the Ghost General’s shackled chains to trap Ke Mo’s arms.
“Ruoye!” called Xie Lian. His sentient silk band unraveled itself from Xie Lian’s right arm and entwined itself into the ground around where Ke Mo was standing. “My Ruoye will only be able to barricade Ke Mo in for so long.”
“We need a night-attack array and protective array established immediately or the General will break through,” Hua Cheng cautioned. “Hanguang-Jun!”
Jiang Cheng turned towards Lan Wangji, scowled and then both nodded, preparing to set up the arrays around the perimeter of the cave.
“Wei Wuxian, release some of my butterflies.” Wei Wuxian obliged, breathing heavily. The butterflies fluttered around Hua Cheng, waiting for their creator to command them. Xie Lian rushed to Hua Cheng’s side as the Ghost King muttered instructions to groups of his wraith butterflies.
Though Ke Mo was now bound by the Ghost General’s chains, he continued to writhe against it. Tornadoes upon tornadoes were burgeoning from his essence. Trees unhinged from the dirt, flying into the sky.
They could hear ghostly cries of “What’s happening?” “What’s going on?” “A Heavenly calamity?” “Is the furnace going to produce another Devastation?”
Xie Lian, Mu Qing, and Feng Xin each raised their hand, uttering the command, “Shield” to activate the Heavenly shield spell. No longer were tree trunks and earthen debris shooting towards the Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, Pei Ming, Nie Huaisang, Jin Ling, and Guzi. Lan Xichen and Wen Ning grinned, watching the earth crumble around them, yet evade them.
Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji descended onto a tree trunk. “The arrays have been cast successfully,” Jiang Cheng announced. “General Ke Mo cannot go out and lower ranked ghosts can no longer come in.”
“Excellent. I have contacted some Heavenly officials to collect Ke Mo. He will be locked deep underneath Mount Yujun, where even that miscreant, Qi Rong, will not be able to kidnap him for his little schemes,” Feng Xin declared.
They all breathed a sigh of relief, the night’s events finally settling into their bones.
“Wei Ying?” called Lan Wangji. “Where is Wei Ying?”
“What do you mean, Hanguang-Jun?” asked Feng Xin. “He was just th-.”
They all turned. Lying just beyond the foot of the arrays were Hua Cheng’s crimson robes. A little body was wriggling beneath the clothes, as if attempting to get out.
Xie Lian squeaked before running forwards and unraveling the little creature that was so desperate to crawl out from its cavern of robes. “Look, San Lang! It’s our Hong Hong-er!” Xie Lian cradled the tiny boy in his arms.
“Who’s Hong Hong-er?” squeaked the little boy. “Where’s Hanguang-Jun?”
Lan Wangji peeked out at the small form of Wei Wuxian, a boy with jet black hair, a single raven eye, a pout painted on his tiny mouth. The little boy was wearing an eyepatch that was slipping off of his right eye. Lan Wangji’s cheeks bloomed a vibrant scarlet. “I am here, Wei Ying.” Xie Lian gently placed the child into Lan Wangji’s arms. Mu Qing quickly conjured up some clothing that would fit the child well.
“Gege, Wei Wuxian and I need to switch our souls quickly. I do not think Wei Wuxian can tolerate how much spiritual energy my body possesses. He has subconsciously transformed into Hong Hong-er to conserve energy. It seems that the wine’s effects are strengthening.” Hua Cheng clasped his hands anxiously.
“En, let us do that quickly.”
“Any ideas how?” Mu Qing asked. “Feng Xin, Zewu-Jun, Wen-gongzi, and I need to be switched too.”
“Anyone else?” Pei Ming had awoken and his appearance had livened up greatly. No one else spoke up.
Lan Wangji was showering little Wei Wuxian with butterfly kisses as the child squirmed and giggled. Xie Lian watched them distantly and said, “San Lang, when will my Hong Hong-er come out to play again?”
“Whenever Dianxia wants,” Hua Cheng teased.
“Soon,” Xie Lian responded instantly. “Well actually, I want my San Lang back in Hua Cheng’s body. Then I want to play with Hong Hong-er.”
“This devoted one will give Dianxia whatever he wants.” Hua Cheng cradled Xie Lian’s head as if it was the most precious thing in the world and pulled him into a hug. “Let’s hope this night ends soon.”
The plan that they had developed was rather simple. They had initially decided on using Zidian. However, both Lan Wangji and Xie Lian were insistent on not using a whip on a child’s body. Little Wei Wuxian watched gratefully as the two men clad in white fought for his protection. It had then been decided that Mu Qing’s sacred sword, Hong Jing, would expel each soul from its inhabited body after which Lan Wangji would play the Song of Clarity to guide each soul back to its true home. And to Lan Wangji’s satisfaction and Xie Lian’s relief, no one would be hurt in the process.
Lan Xichen and Wen Ning went first. Ruoye had ensheathed them into an array from which no soul could leave or enter.
“Wen-gongzi,” Lan Xichen said. “Thank you for all your help tonight. These shackles of yours are rather useful.”
Wen Ning chuckled. “I’m glad.”
Mu Qing handed them Hong Jing to pull out of its hilt. Xie Lian could see a light gray ghost ball and a bright white ghost ball floating in the air as Lan Xichen and Wen Ning’s souls were released from their bodies. Wei Wuxian sat in Lan Wangji’s lap as the taller man began playing the Song of Clarity.
Hua Cheng watched, fascinated, as the two little ghost balls began floating towards their original, respective bodies before being tugged forwards by their bodies like a magnet.
“Did it work?” Wei Wuxian asked, perking up from within Lan Wangji’s lap. Lan Wangji nuzzled his head.
Ruoye slithered up from the ground and cuddled against Xie Lian’s cheeks. “Ruoye seems excited, so I think it worked,” Xie Lian laughed, stroking the silk band.
“En, it worked,” Lan Xichen confirmed. “I possess my own body again. How about you, Wen-gongzi?”
Wen Ning nodded, grinning.
They executed Feng Xin and Mu Qing’s soul swap reversal also without any significant complications.
Xie Lian wrapped his arms around his two best friends. “So, how did it feel to be in each other’s shoes? Am I vainly hopeful or optimistically hopeful that you two never have to train idioms again?”
Mu Qing snorted, rolling his eyes. “Vainly hopeful. I didn’t feel any different.”
Feng Xin glowered at him. “Really? I swear I was more annoying in Mu Qing’s body.”
“Oh, so you admit that you’re annoying at baseline?” spat Mu Qing.
“That’s not what I meant. Obviously, whether it’s your soul or your body, it will never matter. They’re all intolerable.”
“You-!” shouted Mu Qing.
“You-!” bellowed Feng Xin.
Both had turned a purplish white, each grabbing for their respective weapons.
“That’s it!” Xie Lian cried, jumping in between the two. “Go train idioms!”
Little Wei Wuxian was sitting cross-legged in the dirt, smiling up at Hua Cheng, who too, was sitting across from Wei Wuxian. Ruoye was yet again encompassing their forms as a barrier.
“Hua Chengzhu, it seems that you were adorable as a child,” Wei Wuxian mused. “It’s no surprise about Daozhang, but even Lan Zhan cannot seem to get enough of Hong Hong-er.”
Hua Cheng rolled his eyes. “I do not think that it was Hong Hong-er’s physical appearance that softened Hanguang-Jun’s heart so easily. It has been you all along. If you, Wei Wuxian, were the ugliest, vilest monster to ever exist on this earth, Hanguang-Jun would still love you.”
Wei Wuxian widened his eyes, transfixed by Hua Cheng’s words. “I used to be, you know,” he whispered solemnly. “I used to be the ugliest, vilest monster. I did a lot of bad things before I died. But Lan Zhan loved me through it all, despite everything.”
“I know,” Hua Cheng said with a sad smile. “Now, let us get this done and over with so I can get back to my Gege.”
Wei Wuxian laughed. “I think Daozhang will be the most relieved out of all of us when this is over. Without you, he is like a wandering, dispirited cloud. A mere crumb of anything that reminds him of you illuminates his face. I do not think that even you, who knows Daozhang better than anyone else, dead or alive, could carve a sculpture that perfectly personifies the boundless happiness that blooms within him when he is with you.”
Hua Cheng blinked. “En, it is the same way for me too. The very existence of Taizi Dianxia in this world is in itself what brings me the greatest joy. But for me to be able to treasure him everyday like this…well, the emotions are not so easily conveyed with words.” His mouth wavered.
“I know what you mean,” Wei Wuxian nodded sagely.
“Are you done talking?!” barked Jiang Cheng. “The sun is almost rising!”
“Well, Wei Wuxian, it was quite the adventure, but it’s time we end things.” Hua Cheng glanced over at Lan Wangji, who was still staring at the little Wei Wuxian as if he were the world’s greatest treasure. “Hanguang-Jun, it was an honor to have met you! Keep this one out of trouble and make sure he doesn’t enter Ghost City without you keeping him in check.”
“Mn. I will be sure to accompany him to Ghost City when Wei Ying comes to visit.”
Wei Wuxian chuckled. “That means Lan Zhan likes you and intends to see you again.” He shoved Hua Cheng playfully. “Daozhang, I’ve been on a lot of adventures in my life, but I think this one was my favorite. What do you say?”
Xie Lian’s eyes brightened avidly. “I, too, had a wonderful time, Wei-gongzi! I have lots of memories spanning hundreds of years, but I do not think that I will ever forget this one. Right, San Lang?”
“Yes, Gege, I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
With that, Mu Qing stepped forward, Hong Jing in his hands. Hua Cheng and Wei Wuxian each removed the sword from its immaculately clean hilt. A small, silver ghost ball fluttered out of Wei Wuxian’s body. Shortly thereafter, a tiny, red ghost ball sprinted out of Hong Hong-er’s body. Two audible sighs of relief were heard from two husbands who had been watching this exchange with bated breath. Then the Song of Clarity broke the silence and the two spirits floated back into their homes. Hong Hong-er was steadily transforming back to Hua Cheng, the venerable Ghost King.
“It’s so good to be back! Lan Zhan, open your arms for me!” Lan Wangji obliged without hesitation. Wei Wuxian rushed towards Lan Wangji and captured his lips in his own. Lan Wangji kissed him back furiously. “I am very grateful to be home, Lan Zhan. I missed this. I missed you.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji breathed. “I had a hard time without you. I wish you knew how happy I am right now.”
Wei Wuxian fixed his gaze at Lan Wangji for a long while before burrowing his face into his husband’s neck. “What did I do to deserve you, Hanguang-Jun? How did I get so lucky? Even Hua Chengzhu would like to know.”
Lan Wangji patted Wei Wuxian’s head, but did not stop embracing him. “I wonder that every day too, Wei Ying. No man is luckier than me with you in my arms. Thank you for coming back to me, my love.”
Lan Wangji had left all the jars of Hua Cheng’s wine with Yin Yu. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had again resealed their Cave of Ten Thousand Gods, this time with twice the spiritual energy than they had used previously.
Xie Lian was wrapped in the arms of Hua Cheng as Hua Cheng assessed his Waning Moon Officer, who was covered in dirt, earthworms, and whatever grime that shrouded the deepest recesses beneath Mount Tonglu, his mouth planted in a firm, but wavering line. Xie Lian had tipped his head back against his husband’s broad chest, watching, amused, as Hua Cheng tried not to laugh at the sorry state of Yin Yu.
“So I presume that you disposed of all the enchanted wine?”
“Yes, Hua Chengzhu. I used the Earth Master’s shovel to dig as deep as I could, probably 80 feet or so into the earth beneath Mount Tonglu and buried them there. I left one of your butterflies with them, as you requested. It will be watching over the area at all times, to ensure that neither Wei Wuxian nor any other interloper attempts to swindle any jars of wine from you in the future.”
“Excellent, Yin Yu. And now to punish He Xuan, Quan Yizhen, and Qi Rong.”
“Hua Chengzhu, Quan Yizhen is a Qi Rong-shaped daruma doll.”
Hua Cheng and Xie Lian startled. They had forgotten to switch back Quan Yizhen and Qi Rong! It was Hua Cheng who recovered first. “And he shall remain that way for a month. His followers will most likely be very happy they will not be getting beaten up. Qi Rong won’t be able to escape those enchanted ropes without assistance, so that is not an issue. Besides, the room he is in is graced with Taizi Dianxia and myself; it’s hardly a punishment.” Hua Cheng gave Xie Lian a knowing look. “We will have Lang Qianqiu explain the situation to Guzi; he will understand. As for you, He Xuan,” Hua Cheng rounded on Black Water Sinking Ships, who was sulking beneath the dogwood tree that had not been uprooted during Ke Mo’s reign of terror.
“Why am I getting punished?” huffed the moody water demon. “I only unsealed the cave because I was searching for Shi Qingxuan in there after I learned that he had gotten kidnapped by that lowly green fucker! Same goes for Quan Yizhen. He was looking for Yin Yu, who had also been snatched up by Qi Rong.”
Mu Qing snickered at Feng Xin. “Blame General Nan Yang. He was on Qi Rong babysitting duty and fell asleep on the job.”
And so, it had been decided that Feng Xin would be placed under house arrest for three months. Pei Ming secretly hoped that during these three months, Feng Xin would help him write the second volume of his upcoming set of fanfiction.
“Ready to go home, San Lang?” Xie Lian asked, looking up into Hua Cheng’s handsome face.
“Yes, Dianxia.” Hua Cheng tucked a white flowering dogwood behind Xie Lian’s ear while Xie Lian lounged in his lap. He peppered the little god with kisses on his forehead, his eyelids, his cheeks, the tip of his nose, and stopped at his lips. “Gege, you have spoiled this one. Even a second without you by my side, I miss you.”
“San Lang,” Xie Lian reached up to cup Hua Cheng’s face. “I am here with you, now and forever; I will never break that promise. Even if we are torn from each other, never forget that it will always be temporary. I will always, always come back to you, to my heart’s beloved. Please do not ever doubt that.”
“I could never doubt Dianxia.” He continued to stare at Xie Lian, the bright, golden eyes that swam with depths and depths of emotions, the soft smile that Xie Lian saved only for Hua Cheng. “Gege, do you know that I love you?”
Xie Lian laughed. “Yes, San Lang, and I never tire of hearing it. Did you know that I love you too?”
“And I never tire of hearing it.” He stroked Xie Lian’s cheek. They lay there under the dogwood tree for a long time. They had an entire eternity to themselves, so what was the rush?
Hua Cheng began to stare at Xie Lian again. “Gege, gege, one thing I realized during this soul swapping incident is that I love you. I really, really love you. Even if my soul was splintered into thousands of pieces, each one would only call your name, yearn only for you, seek only you.”
Xie Lian gasped and raised himself from Hua Cheng’s lap. He flung his arms around Hua Cheng and held his husband tightly. Hua Cheng returned the embrace just as enthusiastically before enveloping Xie Lian into a kiss. When they finally parted, against Hua Cheng’s lips, Xie Lian murmured, “My soul would only respond to your voice, wait for an eternity and more, just for you and you alone. Because San Lang, my soul, my heart, my everything, belongs to you.”