Chapter Text
For all her attempts to plaster a happy, careless grin on her features, it was blatantly obvious that Cangse Sanren was deeply bothered.
Frankly, Wei Changze thought she was a smidge too invested in the tragic fate of a woman she barely knew, having met her a few weeks ago, far too early for a bond to grow beyond shallow.
(as if your own relationship with her isn’t just as shallow, a tiny whisper snickers in the back of his mind, you first laid your eyes upon the maiden not even half a year ago, and she enjoys making you talk about Lotus Pier but she doesn’t care about throwing you more than crumbs about her childhood)
The thing is, Cangse Sanren loved swiftly. After meeting you, when she deemed you were worthy of her attention and care, she would dote on you as if she knew you from the cradle, as if you were her most treasured childhood friend.
It should have been awkward, such familiarity when manners prevented a man from getting too close to a young woman, and Wei Changze couldn’t help the brief puff of shame in his chest as he remembered the lessons he was given as Jiang Fengmian’s companion, in order for him to never stain Yunmeng and the Sect Heir’s reputation by his distasteful behaviour.
It should have been awkward and yet Wei Changze couldn’t bring himself to put a barrier between him and Cangse Sanren. To remind her that society would like a more defined boundary when they interacted with each other. Not when he had witnessed this radiant smile, heard the teasing voice in which she would call him Wei-ge, drawling a bit on the second part of the nickname, her eyes shining and twinkling as pristine snow under the moonlight.
The spark was gone now. Or was it more correct to claim it was flickering, threatening to disappear in the cold wind of reality ? Sometimes the black-robed youth could see her grin wide and genuine as someone was complaining about losing their paper only to find it covered in funny scribbles of weird beasts, as she was looking through the window to watch the orange sun slowly rising above the clouds in the morning, as she was hearing a xiao or a guqin fumbling a tune and nonetheless moving on – then her smile would disappear, would dull and lose any hint of shine, would turn in a painted expression lacking true life to brighten it.
Wei Changze was trying – to let Cangse Sanren enjoy these moments, to allow her to gather more of these moments, yet it wasn’t enough, far from it. As a man turned blind after an injury or an illness, he missed the warm glow of sunshine, of her careless happiness – how everything around her used to be colorful even if he couldn’t comprehend it, even if he was occasionally annoyed and mortified by her stubborn insistence on bowling over social cues, maybe she was earnestly unaware of the rules she was breaking but truly, it wouldn’t be out of character for the wild maiden to decided she wasn’t interested in playing the game at all when it couldn’t fulfill her need for thrills and fun.
How funny, for Wei Changze to notice all the colours and light surrounding Cangse Sanren only after the world turned grey and gloomy. It made something itch deep inside his innards.
It made his legs itch for departure. Maybe she would start smiling again if she was away from the place in which she stumbled upon sadness ? Maybe she would allow herself to be distracted by so many sights and encounters on their travel path that she would entirely forget she was supposed to be depressed ?
The more the black-clothed youth thought about it, the more the idea grew endearing. Also, that wasn’t like he was learning best in a classroom – sure, the Cloud Recesses provided maps and compendiums and that was a great help to his endeavouring to become the best wandering cultivator he could be, but Wei Changze was the kind of student who progressed by leaps and bounds when he was on the field, dirtying his hands and tripping into shite and banging his head against trees and rocks, so.
He went to Jiang Fengmian and plainly exposed his reasoning.
« Cangse Sanren isn’t smiling anymore, and I don’t think I can improve my fighting stances all up there in the sky, and you cannot help making noises about the Cloud Recesses being so isolated that you’re fretting about what is happening in the Middle Kingdom. Don’t you believe we three might need a change of scenery ? »
The Jiang Sect Heir snorted as a small amused grin pulled at one corner of his mouth.
« You know, I earnestly believed you would have started gnawing at the walls barely one week into our sojourn, but you bravely held your ground for three months and a half ! Congratulations for surprising me. »
« You don’t have to look that impressed » Wei Changze fired back in a grouchy tone. « I was taught manners and etiquette with you, does my lord suspect this humble one from being unable to put his feelings aside for his companions’ good ? »
« I really don’t like hearing you speaking in such a self-deprecating way, how many times did I tell you already ? » Jiang Fengmian sighed, as his shadow of a smile vanished. « Anyway, on the matter of our sojourn there, I first negotiated for one month when we were welcomed in the Cloud Recesses, and when this first month came to an end I managed to lengthen our stay by three other months. »
« So that means we still have a few days between these walls to endure ? » Wei Changze checked, and his purple-clad companion nodded.
« I suppose I will have to go and warn Lan Qiren of our imminent departure. If you want my opinion, he won’t be too heartbroken by the news. »
Wei Changze frowned. He remembered the white dragon scion quietly seething in front of Cangse Sanren’s brazen behaviour and her taste for pranks and her shameless questions regarding life in the Lan bloodline, how Lan Qiren always seemed ready to swell and cover himself in scales to gobble the insolent woman up.
He also remembered baffled glances, filled with a silent confusion as the quicksilver-eyed woman hummed under her breath or showered a picture book with praise for being so lovingly tended for. The same confusion filling Wei Changze’s breast, as he watched Cangse Sanren and internally wondered how it was possible for someone to be so cheerful, so sweet, without even trying to do so.
Perhaps he was reading too far – who truly knew the heart of a white dragon ? Surely a mere human being couldn’t boast he was blessed such, not with their respective species serving as a barrier between them.
Also, guessing at somebody else’s feelings was the kind of thing Wei Changze instinctively misliked, as it sounded too much like spying or voyeurism to his taste. He wouldn’t like a foreigner picking his brain and his heart, reading his deepest secrets and casually trampling the intimacy of his mind under ill-advised curiosity.
Still. Lan Qiren might not be as gleeful to witness their leaving as Jiang Fengmian thought. But who could truly say, except for the white dragon himself ?