Loveless

by JestersTear

Summary:

Reply to a prompt in the Dragon Age Kink Meme: Fenris is hit by a spell in battle that forces him to relive the way Danarius used him sexually. His body acts as it did back then, orgasming on demand. When Fenris wakes up the battle is over and Anders won't stop mocking for having taken a break right in the middle of it to come in his leggings. Eventually Fenris snaps and Anders realises what it is he's been mocking.

Notes:

This was the original kmeme prompt:

A kind of cruel idea inspired by the "relive a bad memory" spell prompts:

Fenris is hit with such a spell in combat, and is forced to relive a memory of being used sexually by Danarius. He of course hates it and is mentally screaming the entire time, but back in the waking world, his body is responding the way it was trained to, the way memory!Fenris responded at the time: getting aroused, writhing attractively, coming when Danarius commands him to in the dream, etc.

When it wears off and he wakes up, angry, hurting, depressed, and ashamed, Anders is quick to snidely rub his face in the fact that he just took a break and got off while everyone else was finishing up the battle, but Fenris is too ashamed to say what really happened.

Where it goes from there is up to an a!anon, as is pairing - does Sebastian or Hawke realize there was more to it than Anders thinks, and tries to get Fenris to open up, then reassures him that he wasn't at fault, either for what happened in the memory, or for his body's reaction while under the spell? Does Anders keep rubbing Fenris' face in it until Fenris can't take it anymore and snaps, telling? How does Anders react when he realizes Fenris was raped as a slave and forced to relive it, and then he made it worse by mocking Fenris for it?

I'm particularly looking for humiliation with eventual resolution through confession to someone and either comfort (Hawke or Sebastian, possibly Anders) or hatesex (with Anders), but I'm open to other conclusions. The memory scene with Danarius can be glossed over or explicit.

Chapter 1: Prologue

The battle was a mess, as was usually the case. There were abominations everywhere, a pair of rage demons and... it. Xebenkeck the Undying, an incredibly powerful desire demon that was currently in the process of trying to entice him to turn on his companions. Not that he should need much enticement, mind: after all, Hawke had insisted on bringing an abomination and a blood mage of her own to this party, as if the enemies weren't enough already. But there was Hawke herself to consider, beautiful, strong Hawke who he had yearned for and almost thought he had a chance with before discovering how futile it was, and, even if not for her, it was truly not in his character to turn on those who healed and aided him in battle. He was many things - elf, former slave, fugitive, warrior, weapon - but he was not a traitor. He was fairly certain the others couldn't hear the demon's words, seeing how he heard no one else speak, and yet they seemed to be waging internal battles of their own in addition to the physical battle they were fighting - all except their pet abomination, that was. Presumably having a demon already inside prevented dealings with another. He could only hope the blood mage wasn't that eager to betray them all.

"I know what you most long for, Fenris. Love," the thing purred seductively while he was busying himself with slicing an abomination's head clean off its distorted shoulders, "love is all you've ever craved, isn't it? I could give that to you. You would never have to be alone again."

Even as he knew it was lying, it was nearly impossible to resist its offer. Love... he'd all but given up on ever having it. The longing was suddenly so strong his arms paused midway through the abomination's neck for a moment.

"Yesss... that's it, Fenris... Stay by my side and you will have your heart's desire," it whispered in his ear. "Come to me, Fenris. I'll make your pain go away."

It took summoning all of his willpower, but he finally managed to force his sword through the abomination and turn to face Xebenkeck - the sooner it died, the sooner he would be free of its poisonous promises.

"Be silent and die, creature. You have nothing to offer me!"

For a moment it appeared as though the battle would continue as usual. Then a rage demon came closer to Xebenkeck and the world did a strange flip, both demons seeming to merge temporarily in a horrifying new entity of hate and lust, its voices combined in a dizzying echo.

"You deny me? You will never have love, slave! You will never even be desired, unless you crawl back to your master. This is the truth of your pitiful existance!"

The thing flipped its claws in a complicated pattern, and, suddenly, Darktown was no more.