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Once again, he woke up in a panic. Heart racing, lungs screaming for air, it happened again. It seemed to go in cycles: complete calm, everything was fine and people were friends. Mind racing, something was wrong and paranoia grew from every person that brushed against the littlest part of him. He looked out at the dark sky; the stars were dimmed out by the surrounding light but the moon still stood strong on its own. Sasuke got up from the bed that he could no longer stand to be in, ‘best to leave it be.’
The apartment was dark and still, just like he wanted. There wasn’t even a sound when he stepped into the hallway. The floor was so cold under his bare feet, but he welcomed it. It let him know that he was alone; there was no stranger looking over his shoulder, no ominous presence stalking him from the shadows, just him and himself alone. In the living room, on the walls, there were family pictures displayed like monuments. He stared at them, focused completely on the smiling faces. They felt wrong, something was out of place. Was it their faces? The awkward way they stood next to each other? It all looked so wrong. His chest tightened up and he snapped his head away. He could see snow glistening as it began to collect on the balcony, so safe and familiar. Why so familiar? The drive to keep that feeling overpowered the unease that kept trying to worm its way into his mind, ‘best to leave it be.’
Sasuke felt his feet drag his heavy limbs across to the glass door. The lights from the surrounding buildings sparkled in the most nostalgic way. In the back of his mind, he could hear a click and a burst of cold rush into the empty space. The smooth floor soon began to feel crunchy and crisp with growing weather. The city’s lights twinkled below him like dancing stars he could no longer see. They were all around him; shining, spinning, flashing all around him in a hypnotizing pattern. The city of stars was singing to him and he sang back. His feet were going numb from being sunken into the snow and his lungs burned breathing in the sharp air, but he didn’t stop. Out here everything was clear and safe so it’s just best to leave it be.
He lays down, letting the snow melt on his exposed skin, this was here and now. Not back into a foggy past he can’t bear to think of. His breath visibly floated up to the sky creating short-lived clouds. This was fine, his heart rate decreased to a normal speed once more, it would get better. It had to get better but right now, let’s not think about it. Right now, it might be best to leave it be.