Work Text:
Connor knew humans had strange coping mechanisms to deal with the stress that came with life. Some ate until they were sick, or stayed out dancing until 3am every night, some even used TV shows or books to escape the crushing reality that loomed over them. He was also aware of the more harmful ones. Excessive drinking, drug abuse, and self inflicted harm.
Everyday, he saw Hank chug a bottle of alcohol like it was the last water on earth to try escape the memories of the night he lost his son. He had seen people destroy their humanity with red ice countless times, murdering strangers, lovers, and their own children.
When you and Connor met for the first time, you were standing in the precinct kitchen drinking coffee at such an alarming rate that Connor nearly ripped the mug away from your hands. When you started dating, he saw how you would stay up until dawn working on cases to distract yourself from the endless ocean of problems that you were sure you would drown in. He had seen how after you received devastating news from your family back home, you shut yourself off from the world completely.
Each time you got that bad, he held you in his arms as you cursed the world for being so cruel, refusing to be a part of it.
Recently, you had been assigned a case of suspected domestic abuse. Connor had seen how it affected you, but didn’t want to pry, fearing it may bring some things to the surface you didn’t necessarily want to remember. On top of that, you had just travelled back home for a week to visit your Aunt in hospital, leaving you emotionally raw and unprepared for what awaited you at work.
Connor knew you were stressed, and he did his best to help you take the load off. He cooked dinner every night, took you out on dates, and even tried to make a romantic trail of rose petals through the house. It worked momentarily, but when you walked into the precinct every morning, you were thrust back into your unpleasant reality.
~~~
This particular day, Connor had finally convinced you to take some time off for yourself. He had stayed late to finish off a case report with Hank, but mainly to give you more time to rest and feel like yourself again.
“Well kid, we gotta go home at some point,” Hank stretched his arms over his head and glanced at the clock.
“Yes, you’re probably right, Lieutenant.”
“Cut it out with the formal shit, Connor. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hank threw his coat over his shoulder as he wandered out of the station, leaving Connor alone.
Glancing at the clock, he saw the hands strike 11. Connor reached for the phone and dialled your number, hoping you weren’t still awake at this hour. The phone rang, and rang, and rang, until your voicemail played in his ear. While Connor didn't immediately panic, he did find this strange. On your days off you were usually glued to your phone, or to the TV screen with your phone next to you. Maybe you actually had gone to sleep.
As he arrived home, another alarm bell went off in his head. The kitchen and dining room lights were on, indicating you were awake but away from your phone. Had you ignored his call on purpose? Did he do something wrong to make you mad at him? His pace quickened as he reached the door, hastily opening it.
He called your name throughout the house, and was met with the sound of something metal hitting the floor. Terror seeped into his veins, and he immediately ran towards the source of the noise.
Entering the kitchen, he saw you slumped into the floor, hands shaking in front of you, blood dripping from your wrists, and a knife at your feet. He dropped to his knees and grabbed your hands in his.
“What happened? Love, who did this to you?”
No words came out of your mouth as hot tears began to fall from your eyes. Connor quickly stood back up and began making his way to the back door before you called out to him.
“Connor, stop. I… I did this.”
Connor stopped in his tracks and slowly turned to face you again.
“I’m sorry, It just… It was all too much.”
“You did this to yourself?” He spoke softly as he slowly realised the situation.
You nodded as more tears formed in your eyes and small sobs left your lips.
Connor gently took your hands once again and looked at the wounds on your arms. His LED swirled red, yellow, and back to blue as he assessed the damage. He slowly brought each of your hands to his lips and kissed your knuckles gently.
Still holding your hands, he looked up and into your eyes.
“I love you. I always have, and always will. I often don’t completely understand the reasoning behind some human actions, but I can tell you’re hurting. You’ve been through so much in your life, and I am so incredibly proud of you for making it to where you are now. I know things are hard right now, and it feels like it will never change, but please believe me when I say that we will make things good again. You’re going to be ok again.”
Before you could react, he stood up and began dampening a small cloth in the sink. Sitting down next to you, he looked into your eyes for permission before touching your arms. You gave a small nod, and he started carefully wiping away your blood.
~~~
Once Connor had finished cleaning and bandaging your wrists, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.
“Thank you. I don’t know how I would survive with you, Connor.”
Connor held you tightly against him and rubbed small circles into your back. “I wouldn’t be who I am with you, Love. I will always be with you.”