Ive long since forgotten how to feel

by Jinx-Jade (Trial_and_Error)

Summary:

Marinette was your average, barely teenaged, girl, until she wasn't.

Now she is a young woman, with the weight of world's on her shoulders as she trys to collect the remainder of the lost miraculi and spellbooks in an attempt to complete her mission that the former guardian had assigned her.

...if only the Waynes would leave her be.

Chapter 1

 

Human beings are inherently selfish creatures. Everything that they do within their lifetime is something they want to do or is beneficial for them to do.

   

Humans are also not the most aware when it comes to thinking of the consequences of their actions or inactions.

   

Humans are driven by their own selfish desires and care not how what they do or don’t do affect their fellow humans, is the conclusion fate’s chosen has come to. Fate’s chosen learned this lesson far too early in her lifetime. She watches it happen again and again without care for balance or order.

   

But she, herself is human, at least some part of her is, or perhaps once was and is no longer. She had once been unaware and selfish like the rest of what used to be her kind. And sometimes she finds herself wishing that she still held that trait. Sometimes she wishes that she had let that elderly man, however terrible the thought, get run over by the oncoming traffic. If she had allowed that to happen then maybe fate would have moved on and picked someone else as it’s chosen. But she hadn’t, and because she hadn’t, because she had helped one eldery man, she had been stripped of her last few years of childhood innocence. She had been abruptly woken up, as if she had her head dunked into a bucket of ice water, becoming all too aware of the actions and reactions and how one piece affected the whole that is everything both living and not.

   

She later found out that it was the continued actions and inactions of the elderly man that lead to the fall of a once powerful order of guardians. How his soul lacked the quality that all guardians have to possess to hold their title. How he lacked the ability to look past himself and to the bigger picture. His selfishness was the downfall of the order, allowing many grimoires and artifacts of magical properties to be lost in the destruction he created.

   

However, lost as they were supposed to be, a man and his wife had come across three of them. They had no way of knowing the knowledge held within the grimoire, or power held within the jewels until they had placed them onto their clothes, creating a flash of light. Two creatures of magical properties had appeared. The husband and wife questioning the beings had led to them finding out that the jewels held powers for their chosen to weild.

   

The husband and wife being of the human kind had fallen victim to their own selfish desires and thoughts, believing themselves to be the jewels chosens, and that it had been fate for them to find the jewels.

   

The two magical beings had tried to warn the humans but they didn’t listen, instead ordering silences upon the beings known as kwami.

   

It was this silence that led to the illness the wife had fallen victim to. The husband, selfish as he was, searched for a way to heal his wife, finding information of other jewels that if used simultaneously grant the wielder a wish.

   

This led to the start of what became known as the war of miracles.

   

The only way to end the war would be if the husband, wielder of the butterfly jewel, made his wish, or if someone of equal ability and power was able to retrieve the missing jewels.

   

The elderly man, being in possession of the remaining jewels, held the ability to right his past wrongs, to move past his own selfishness.

   

But he didn’t.

   

He wouldn’t.

   

So in his place stood a pair of children he entrusted this war to with no warning, explanation, training, or guidance. In his place stood two children who had been told to fight a war that had not been theirs, to begin with, and would have never been theirs at all if it hadn’t been for the elderly man’s selfishness.

   

It had been a war that could only have been fought by those who also wield the powers of the jewel. It had been a war without any outside help from other magic users, superheroes, and vigilantes. It had been a deadly and traumatizing event in time for those who called Paris home.

   

Fate’s chosen, a girl who had gone by the name Marinette Dupain-Cheng had been barely thirteen years of age and the daughter of bakers. She had been an average bubbly and clumsy girl. An average straight A’s student who didn’t have many close friends but was overly friendly with everyone.

   

But that had been before the war.

   

It was three months into the war when things started to change. When things had become even more dangerous. When the wielder of the butterfly jewel, known as Hawkmoth, had seemed to become more desperate in his attacks.

   

Marinette had appeared more tired as time went on. She did what she could to sneak away from wherever she had been at the time of the attacks that had come to be known as akumas.

   

Marinette as ladybug and her partner as Chat noir would fight the akumas by themselves. They eventually set meet-up times outside of the Akuma attacks to have some form of a team meeting where they trained together, planned out strategies, and set patrol schedules.

   

It hadn’t been until the fifth month, after the introduction to a new villain, when she met the elderly man who had originally given her the jewel of creation to wield. The elderly man offered her training in the form of how to read and speak the guardian’s tongue. She was taught how to create talismans, charms, and potions. She was taught the secrets of the jewels known as miraculi and the beings that inhabit them by the elderly man, yet she still wasn’t trusted with more information than needed in a past event.

   

It had been during the ninth month of the war, right after the successful retrieval of the peacock miraculous when the elderly man disappeared, leaving the box of miraculi in her room just as he had done with the miraculous of creation at the beginning of the war. The kwami, the beings that inhabit the miraculi, explained how the elderly man believed to have fulfilled his duty to train the next guardian and had left the box, as well as the title that came with it, in Marinette’s possession. And while she wanted to scream that it was unfair and ask how the elderly man she had come to know as Master Fu could abandon her without so much as a wish of good luck, a goodbye, or an explanation, she didn’t. Instead, she called a meeting with Chat Noir to discuss how to proceed and a plan was set in place.

   

Gone was the two-person team known as Ladybug and Chat Noir by month thirteen. In their place stood a new team composed of, as far as the public was aware, the turtle, bee, dragon, and black cat miraculi. The ladybug miraculous was pulled out of the public view in favor of hiding away until the battle was over to cast the cure. The wielder of creation never needing to step foot on the battlefield.

   

It had taken time, gradually bringing new heroes onto the scene, but slowly, as the public accepted their new heroes, Ladybug began to fade into the shadows. And once the public had become used to the absence of their spotted hero, a new black cat took Chat Noir’s place. To the public, the heroes of Paris are a small group of four. However, hidden behind the shadows that the heroes created by standing in the spotlight, the second half of the Parisian hero team known as the court of miracles, composed of the ladybug, fox, rabbit, tiger, horse, and peacock, worked in secret.

   

It had been twenty-one months since the start of the war, and only six hours since the court of miracles had claimed victory. The once children, now young adults have gathered to discuss what to do next, now that the war was over. Half of the wielders opted to return to normal civilian life but agreed to come back if they were needed.

   

Out of the half that remained with the court, the rabbit, snake, turtle, fox, and peacock, all but one of them decided to accept the offer to join the Justice League. The one who hadn’t accepted the offer hugged her friends goodbye, reminding them that her mission isn’t over just yet. That she has to clean up the mess those before her, had created with the miraculi. She smiles with knowing eyes as her friends waved goodbye to her with teary eyes, she steps through the portal and comes face to face with the ruined remains of the grand, decorative gates, the order of guardian’s symbol decoratively sculpted into it.

   

It has been three years since Marinette had parted ways from her friends.

   

A lot can happen in three years, especially when fate takes an interest in you.

Chapter 2

 

Marinette sighed, picking out an appropriate gown for this gala. Sure she was running late, but with how many gala’s she went to each month, she could afford to take her time.

 

 

She got dressed with practiced ease. Sectioning the front half of her hair in two, taking the time to braid it before throwing up the rest of her hair in a messy bun. The two braids wrapped around the base of the bun with hair pins and jewels being woven into her hair. Once Marinette was satisfied with her hair she moved onto makeup, drawing on sharp yet rounded wings of eyeliner before applying her mascara.

 

 

A quick check of the time tells her that if she were to leave now then she will arrive in the middle towards the end of the arrival time. Seeing that that was the best time to arrive to receive the least amount of attention, she summoned a portal, stepping straight into the passenger seat of a sleek all black car. Marinette pulled out a key chain from the glove box, removing one of the charms. She pulls a feather out of thin air, touching it to the charm to be absorbed. A few moments later a being that could easily be mistaken as a human was in the driver's seat, fully dressed for the part of a chauffeur.

 

 

“Hello again,” Marinette greets with a smile. This not being the first time she has used this charm to create a sentient being.

 

 

“My lady,” The sentient being greets in return before asking, “Where too?”

 

 

“Wayne manor, please. They’re having a little gala that I was invited to.” Marinette said, causing the senti to chuckle.

 

 

“Of course, and the reasoning for your attendance?” The senti questioned, starting the car.

 

 

“Oh the usual, keeping up appearances, talking with stuffy rich people, gathering lost magical artifacts before the current owner finds out it’s a magic artifact.” Marinette says with a dismissive wave of her hand.

 

 

The senti nodded his head, driving the rest of the way in silence. When they arrived at the manor, the senti parked the car in front of the doorway.

 

 

“What time shall I return?” The senti asked, receiving a hum from the magic user.

 

 

“Depends on what happens. Is it alright if I give your magic a tug when it’s time to come get me?” Marinette questioned.

 

 

“Of course, My lady. There is no reason to ask, seeing as I am but a being of your creation.” Came the answer from the senti, before he stepped out of the parked car.

 

 

Moments later the passenger side door was opened by the senti, and Marinette stepped out, nodding her head in thanks.

 

 

“I hope your evening goes well, My lady.” The senti encouraged before climbing back into the car and driving off.

 

 

Marinette plastered on a soft but warm smile as she walked up to the doorway.

 

 

“Good evening Miss, invitation please.” Someone whom she can only assume to be the rumored Alfred Pennyworth, asked in a form of greeting.

 

 

“Of course.” Marinette hummed, pulling a small envelope from her bag and handing it to the buttler.

 

 

He pulled the card half way out of the envelope before freezing ever so slightly. The content of the envelope, to any normal being would simply look to be the invitation. But to someone who has weild and been compatible with a miraculi, it simply shows the order's symbol.

 

 

“Right then, enjoy your evening, My Lady.” The slight change in titles makes the magic user in question want to roll her eyes, but she refrains from it, just barely.

 

 

Marinette nodded her head, soft smile still present as she walked into the home. She seemingly wandered around, socializing here and there as she made her way to her target.

 

 

But of course, nothing ever goes as planned for fate’s chosen. Someone bumps into Marinette, spilling their dark red drink all over her light pink dress.

 

 

“Shit- I am so sorry about that miss.” A blonde woman in a familiar purple dress apologized.

 

 

Marinette feigned a giggle, light and airy as she waves the blonde off.

 

 

“At least one of my dresses isn't ruined.” The magic user claimed, receiving an odd look from the black haired woman next to the blonde.

 

 

“Here, uhm, why don’t we try and get that out before it stains.” The blonde asked only to be waved off.

 

 

“It’s already soaked into the fabric. The best I can do is wash it when I get home and dye it a different color.” The magic user explained, receiving a pout from the blonde.

 

 

“The least I can do is pay for a new one.” The blonde states, causing Marinette to smile knowingly, feigning another giggle.

 

 

“Seeing as I made it myself, the most you would be doing is buying a new set of fabrics.” Marinette claimed, extending a hand with a card in it to the blonde. “MDC, it’s lovely to meet you Miss Brown, but I truly should be leaving so I can get out of this dress before it gets sticky.”

 

 

The blonde blinks at her, taking the offered card to look it over. After a moment a grin appeared an on the blonde’s features

 

 

“We wouldn’t happen to be the same size, would we?” The blonde questioned, grabbing Marinette by the wrist before she could answer.

 

 

Marinette looked to the black haired woman for help or an explanation, but the woman only smiled, waving her and the blonde off.

 

 

The blonde, Stephanie Brown, pulled Marinette into her bedroom and over to her closet. A few moments later a pile of fabrics were shoved into Marinette’s hands as the blonde ushered her into the connected bathroom.

 

 

Marinette sighed, looking over the fit of the dress, humming in approval when she recognized it as a style queen design. She quickly changed into the royal blue and purple gown, fixing any stray wisps of hair before stepping back out of the bathroom with her ruined dress in hand.

 

 

Stephanie let out a whistle, grinning from ear to ear.

 

 

"You can pull off any color can't you?" The blonde asked, not waiting for an answer as she took the dirty dress from Marinette. "I'll have someone clean this and return it to you before you leave."

 

 

"This really wasn't necessary." Marinette claimed, “I could have just gone home, changed and called it a night.”

 

 

“True but that would have meant I was responsible for ruining your night.” Stephine argued, leading Marinette back to the public area.

 

 

Marinette huffed, shaking her head at the blonde.

 

 

“Alright, well, thank you.” The designer conceded, seeing no point in arguing with Stephine.

 

 

Out of the corner of her eye, Marinette sees that a group of people, the Waynes of all people, were watching her. Stephine seemed to have noticed too and dragged her over to the group.

 

 

“Hello Stephine. Who might your friend be?” Bruce Wayne questioned, taking a sip from his glass to hide the slight up turn of his mouth.

 

 

Stephine glared at the black haired woman that had been with her earlier.

 

 

“Guys this is MDC. There was a… bit of an incident involving a dress and some wine.” The Wanye boys collectively looked a few seconds from laughing at the blonde.

 

 

“I can take that dress from you Miss Stephine.” Alfred states, appearing out of nowhere to take the dress.

 

 

“Thanks Alfred, you’re the best.” Stephine cheered, sticking her tongue out at the second eldest who had been silently teasing her.

 

 

“Oh- Kitten, I didn't realize you were in Gotham. You should have given me a call.” Selina claimed from her spot lazily leaning against her husband's arm. Smiling as if she hadn’t just caused there to be more attention on the designer than necessary.

 

 

“Oh? You two know each other?” Bruce asked with a raised brow. The other waynes also seeming to take a more focused interest.

 

 

“Oui. We apparently run in the same circles when it comes to galas and have interacted at a few of them.” Marinette claimed with an easy smile. “Your wife has quite the eye when it comes to picking out valued jewels.”

 

 

The youngest Wayne narrowed his eyes at her, and might have said something if not for Selina’s interruption.

 

 

“Oh you must show them the designs you sketched up off of that egyption jewel we had been talking about.” Selina states, causing Marinette to feign laughter.

 

 

“Maybe another time. I don’t exactly have anywhere to hide a notebook on me.” Marinette jokes, causing Seilina to huff in amusement, raising a brow at the designer. The designer in question tilted her head to the left ever so slightly, causing the older woman to smirk, which didn’t go unnoticed by the Waynes.

 

 

The rest of the gala went on without her being able to get too far from a Waynes’ side. She couldn’t get close enough to pickpocket anyone, let alone her target.

 

 

The night ended with Selina making Marinette promise to come visit soon for some tea and to show off her sketchbook. The pleased smile gracing the older woman's lips, lets Marinette know that Selina knew exactly what she did. Still, Marinette left after agreeing to the woman's invitation.

 

 

“Did the night go as you planned?” The senti asked once the magic user was settled into her seat and buckled.

 

 

Marinette responded by groaning, covering her face with her hands.

 

 

“When does it ever?” She asked and the senti chuckled in return, driving his creator back to the comfort of her hotel room.

Chapter 3

Notes:

Warning: some form of a panic, anxiety, or ptsd- flash back and or attack.
Mentions of past death

There was a knock at her hotel door and Marinette has never wanted to bash her head into a wall more than she did at this moment in time.

Not because answering the door meant having to socially interact with people.

No.

It was because the hotel door that was knocked on was her balcony door. A door that was only accessible by masked figures, such as her court, superheroes, vigilantes, or villains.

Still, she got up from where she had been sitting at the provided desk and walked over to the door. When she opened it she was not surprised to see one of Gotham's vigilante’s standing on the other side.

“Red robin.” Marinette greets with a tired sigh.

“You have someone who wants to talk to you.” The vigilante informs her in place of a greeting.

“Yeah- I figured.” The magic user hummed, stepping out onto the balcony, closing the door behind her, purposefully ignoring the fact that she was not appropriately dressed for a masked outing.

“May I?” Red Robin asked, reaching over to her with one hand, a grappling hook in his other hand.

“Go ahead.” Marinette shrugged, walking into his personal space at the offered hand.

Red Robin wrapped his arm around Marinette’s waist. Marinette’s own arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders as he took aim and shot the grappling hook as if this was a normal evening for her.

They landed a few buildings away from the hotel, Marinette having memorized the path the vigilante took to get to their current location. Once sure that they were done grappling, Marinette unwrapped her arms from Red Robin’s neck, stepping out of his personal space.

She was immediately pulled into a hug by a person in a familiar looking catsuit.

“As much as I like hugs, I also like breathing.” Marinette wheezed, causing Cat woman to release her, flicking the magic user on the forehead as she pulled away.

“What was that for?” Marinette questioned. rubbing at her forehead with a childish pout.

“Oh I wonder what it could be for, Kitten... Perhaps it’s because someone got a fatal wound in front of me and then disappeared without so much as letting me know you were okay.” Catwoman purred, pulling the young adult back into a much gentler hug.

“Yeah… that hadn’t been a fun night… or day… or week, actually. Sorry, Lina.” Marinette says, wincing at the reminder. The memory making the scar along the side of her ribcage ache.

Someone cleared their throat, drawing the two womans’ attention.

“Sorry to interrupt but, B wants to know what it is you were planning to steal.” Spoiler states with a shrug.

Marinette groaned, glaring at the fellow thief.

“Well, nothing now.” The magic user huffed.

“That doesn’t tell us what you were planning to steal, just that you aren’t anymore.” Red Robin pointed out, causing Marinette to roll her eyes.

“Hhm... I guess my answer depends on how familiar you bats are with the court.” Marinette says after a few moments of silence.

Her answer caused the bats to stiffen up.

“Court of owls?” The cat themed anti-hero questioned with a tilt of her head, causing Marinette to huff.

“Court of Miracles.” Marinette corrected.

At Marinette’s correction Red Robin opened some kind of wrist monitor, typing something in.

“We know of them.” Spoiler said, leaning against Red Robin’s shoulder from her slightly higher perch, as if to hide the fact that she was probably reading from Red Robin’s device.

Marinette ignored the interaction with a hum, taking a seat on a raised edge of the rooftop next to Catwoman.

“See, now you aren’t answering my questions. I asked how familiar you are with them. Not if you know of them.” Marinette points out as two new figures landed on the room within the shadows. She holds back a scoff at how distrusting the bats clearly were of her.

“We are familiar enough.” Red Robin states, and this time Marinette doesn’t hold back her reaction, huffing at them in annoyance.

“Then we are at an Impasse.” Marinette informed them, standing up to stretch.

“I’ll see you on Monday, Lina.” The magic user claims with a bow of her head before jumping off as if she wasn’t wearing a dress and actually had shoes on.

There was a curse from one of the bats as she began to free run back to her hotel room. She paused, hiding behind one of the buildings to check for a tail, and when she saw none, the magic user assumed it was most likely due to Selina holding them back. Marinette continued the rest of the way to her hotel balcony, opening the door, she steps into the room, locking the door behind her.

When Marinette arrived back at her hotel room she was emotionally exhausted. She had been about to collapse onto the hotel bed but decided against it, knowing that if she did then she probably wouldn’t get up to change.

With a tired breath Marinette dragged herself over to the closet where her suitcase was hidden away, grabbing a pair of gray sweatpants, underwear, and a sports bra before disappearing into the bathroom. She lazily striped out of her barrowed gown and undergarments, removing her hair pins before stepping into the water she had turned on moments before to heat up.

She just stood there, under the slightly too hot water, hands tiredly running up and down her face without any real attempt to remove the make up.

For a moment in time there was red. Dark red with a rusty smell unique to wet coins and blood, coppery and bitter. Marinette ran her hands harshly through her hair, pulling at the root just enough to cause discomfort. But the discomfort was better than the numb feeling that coursed through her as if she wasn’t in control of herself or her actions.

She gasped in a ragged breath once she realized she hadn’t been breathing and was once again assaulted with the scent of blood.

There was a sharp pain between her fourth and fifth ribs on her left. A dull ache between the left and right side of her rib cage. The feeling of someone clawing at her throat causing her to panic, sinking to the shower floor with uneven gasps of air.

It felt as though she was drowning to death.

As if she was being choked to death.

As if she had been stabbed through the heart, twice.

And the worst part is that she had.

She knows that.

She remembers that.

Marinette forces herself to take in a breath as even as she could, holding it as she taps her hand against the back of her neck. She released the breath with a mix between laughter and a sob, her eyes burning with the irritation of fresh tears.

She couldn’t deal with this tonight.

She didn’t want to deal with this tonight.

Why did Selina have to remind her?

'Because she didn’t know, that’s why. Because she had just been worried about her.' A bitter voice reminded her, drawing out some words longer than others as if to tease and taunt.

It’s Marinette’s own fault for disappearing and she knows it. If she had stayed in contact, or even just contacted the thief once then Selina wouldn’t have brought it up.

Why is she so stupid?

“Fuck.- no- not now- breath- j-just breath- sta- n cont-ol.” but murmuring to herself wasn’t working. She just felt broken, and she knows she is.

“Shh- sorry- m -orrry… -elp me- p-ease-... Rwzw pael-” Marinette gasped out, summoning the named kwami by force in her distress.

There was a flash of light as a ball of blue and purple, resembling a bird, or more specifically, a peacock, appeared.

“Oh- you poor child.” The kwami cooed, taking in the appearance of the young woman curled into a tight ball on the floor of a running shower.

Her legs are pulled up, uncomfortably tight to her chest. Blood mixes into the water from the cuts on her feet and what appear to be self-inflicted cuts from her nails to the back of her neck. Her skin is an angry shade of red to show its irritation. And her breathing just wasn’t right.

“ It’s alright, little one. I’m here. You’re not alone, little one. You are safe.” The kwami of sentiment claimed, changing from the non threatening, plushy like form, into her humanoid form to better comfort fate’s chosen.

“Let’s get you out of this water.” The peacock kwami, Duusuu, suggested after observing how red the skin of fate’s chosen was under it.

The kwami shut off the water, wrapping a towel around Marinette slowly, allowing the magic user to track their movements despite her unfocused, blurry vision.

And from that moment onward, up until the time when she woke the next day in the late hours of the morning, Marinette couldn’t tell you exactly what happened. She doesn’t remember, and she doesn’t want to.

When she wakes up at a time closer to noon than morning, she opts to stay in bed, hugging a pillow tightly to her chest as if to soothe the dull pain. She didn’t make any attempt to get up out of bed when even just moving around in bed caused her head to pound with the sound of high pitched ringing, making her want to break down and cry all over again.

But she doesn’t.

Temporary as it might be, she convinces herself that she is out of tears from how irritated and dry they are from the night before. She locks it all away, the feeling of numbness over taking her, making her feel sick to her stomach.

All emotion brings is pain.

Chapter 4

Marinette woke up feeling nauseous. She was dizzy, very dizzy. She felt like throwing up as she held back a sob that threatened to escape.

   

Someone walks over to the bed, gently placing the back of their hand to Marinette’s forehead.

   

“Oh Melody, you’re burning up.” The person says. They’re soul feels worried and familiar, and safe, oh so safe and warm.

   

She’s brought out of her observation of the familiar person’s soul by the feeling of a cool and wet cloth being placed on her forehead. She whines in protest but the person only shushes her lightly, cooing reassurances that just repeat what she already knows. That this person is safe. She knows this person.

   

“I know Melody, but you have a fever.” The safe person tells her, but she still fuses at the uncomfortable feeling.

   

She doesn’t fuse for long as fatigue takes over her mind. The soothing motion of hands running through her hair luling her back to sleep.

   

The second time she wakes up it is because she was woken up by someone. It had been the safe person again. She still can’t remember their name, but she definitely knows them.

   

The person makes her drink from a warm cup despite her protests of nausea. She drinks the cup of warm, bitter, liquid, expecting to get sick from it, but to her surprise she is able to keep it down.

   

“See? That wasn’t so bad was it?” The safe person asked.

   

Marinette hummed in response as the person checked her temperature again.

   

“Mm, just a low fever now. I’m sure we can get it to break before tomorrow.” The safe person claimed.

   

She gave a tired nod of her head with a yawn as if to agree but not really caring or paying attention as she drifted back to sleep.

   

The third time she wakes up, she’s more aware. Her eyes are able to focus better and while tired she no longer feels the bone heavy exhaustion that she can vaguely remember from (a few hours? days?) earlier.

   

“You back with me, Melody?” Luka asked.

   

She squints at him, trying to figure out how or when he had gotten here or how he even knew she was in Gotham. (Was she still in Gotham?)

   

Luka being who he is, or more specifically, what he is, read her confusion and answered her unspoken question.

   

“Duusuu and Kaalki brought me here to help since I was both the closest to your location and have helped you with this,” he said, gesturing vaguely to Marinette, their surroundings, and himself, “Before.”

   

“Wha-? Oh. I did it again.” She states more than asks, but Luka still nods his head, humming in agreement.

   

They sat in silence for a bit, only to be interrupted by the growling of a stomach.

   

“Why don’t we get some food in you,” Luka suggests with an amused huff, the worry in his soul slowly fading away but still present.

   

“Mmm. Yeah- sure.” Marinette agreed, climbing out of bed. “Bathroom first though.”

   

Luka nods his head disappearing into the small provided kitchen, Marinette disappearing into the bathroom.

   

The magic user pauses in front of the mirror as she washes her hands, observing herself.

   

Her skin was pale, too pale to be healthy for any normal human. But she’s not normal. She’s most likely not even human anymore. Her eyes are blue, far too bright and colorful, practically glowing in a way that felt as though Marinette could stare into someone's soul, and she can, she does.

   

There are scars, so many scars. too many scars, littering her body. Some of a darker pigmentation than her skin, some of lighter pigmentation. There are jagged ones and ones that are smooth.

   

She hates them all.

   

She looks like a monster. Even without the scars, she would.

   

She hates it.

   

A sharp knock came from the bathroom door, causing Marinette to finally break eye contact with herself.

   

She opens the door blinking at the figure on the other side.

   

“Come on, Melody. Food’s ready.” Luka informs her, offering a hand, and Marinette takes it, being pulled into Luka’s side as they walk over to the common area of the hotel room.

   

They settled on the couch, grabbing the bowls of miso soup that Luka had prepared and left on the coffee table for them. The room was quiet besides the soft sipping of soup, and it stayed that way.

   

Marinette was never one to be happy when her friends were in pain, but she can’t help but be grateful that Luka goes through something similar and understands that she is overwhelmed and just wants silence and to not be alone. She hates that her friend being in the same type of pain brings her any kind of positive feeling. But at this point, Marinette just adds it to the ever-growing list of things wrong with her.

   

Once they were done eating, Luka took their bowls away, washing them in the sink before leaving them out to dry. He returned to the couch, wrapping his arms around Marinette to move her into his lap. The magic user, in turn, buried her face into his chest.

   

It took a few moments, but eventually, Marinette’s shoulders began to shake as a sniffle escaped. The older of the two hummed as he rocked them slowly in not quite a calming motion, but a steady and grounding motion. He didn’t want to calm down the magic user's emotion, he wanted her to take the time to sort them out.

   

They both know that she won’t get the numb and overwhelming feeling to go away until the emotions are sorted. For Luka, he would get overwhelmed by others' emotions and become feverish and numb. For Marinette, she gets overwhelmed by her own emotions, falling into a similar state.

   

They understand each other when it comes down to building pressure of an ability they can’t turn off. The other members of the court have tried to help them, or take care of them when they get like this, but there’s not much they can do. Sure they help however they can, but they can’t sort out the emotions for them. Can’t detect the slightest change and adjust what they’re doing accordingly.

   

Marinette and luka can. They can feel the change of emotions, both in their own way, but similar enough to relate to each other. There were some differences in how they appeared to just know how someone’s feeling, Luka hearing what he calls heart songs, and Marinette being able to see how someone’s soul behaves, but it was close enough. And some days, close enough was all they needed. It was enough to not make them feel alienated and alone.

   

The day ends with Luka, once again, tucking Marinette into bed with a short ‘see you later’ before leaving the hotel room. Marinette had mumbled a small ‘bye bye’ as she drifted into a deep sleep.

   

Luka looked around the area outside the hotel, easily navigating his way back to his apartment. Tiredly unlocking the door and letting himself in, relocking it before tossing the keys into a bowl kept by the door. He wandered into the living room and over to the large armchair where a muscular figure sat reading a book, again, for what could be the hundredth time.

   

The figure looked up from his book as Luka plopped down into his lap, curling up, with his legs thrown over the armrest.

   

“Something the matter, Love?” The figure, Luka’s wonderful boyfriend, questioned, closing the book as he pressed a kiss to Luka’s forehead.

   

“Mm.” was the musician's response. A low, tired hum as Luka pressed a kiss to the man’s pulse point, staying there with his eyes closed.

   

Silence overtook the room as the man opened his book back up, arms snugly secured around the musician’s waist. They stayed like that until Luka’s boyfriend deemed it time to go to sleep. Picking up the shorter male and carrying him to their bedroom.

   

Luka’s eyes were half lidded as his boyfriend handed him a pair of sweatpants for him to change into. He does without much thought or prompting, moving to settle underneath the bed sheets and covers. His lover placed another kiss on the musician's forehead, moving back to the doorway to leave.

   

“Thank ‘ou for staying through my episodes.” Luka murmured, somehow loud enough to be heard on the other side of the room, causing his boyfriend to pause. He seems to contemplate something before walking back over to the bed, taking a seat next to where Luka was curled up under the blankets.

   

“Is something going?” He asked gently with worry dripping ever so slightly from his tone, resting a hand in Luka’s hair. “You aren’t start’en a flare up, are ya? Cause I can get one of the others to cover my patrol if you are.”

   

Luka shook his head 'no', leaning into his boyfriend’s hand.

   

“Nn, similar thing happens with a friend… but they don’t have someone.” Luka explained with a yawn, curling up under the warmth of the covers.

   

It wasn't quite enough information to do anything with. He could ask about them, but Luka didn't seem in the right state of mind to answer. There was a quiet sigh as he ran a hand through his boyfriend's hair, not much else to do.

   

“...They’re okay now?” He asked, receiving a mix of a shrug and a nod. “Alright then. I’ll be back after patrol. Night LuLu.”

   

“Mm, Night Jas.”

 

Chapter 5

Marinette slowly opened her eyes as light began to bleed into the room. She stretches out in the bed, but doesn’t bother sitting in yet, body still weighed down by the last bit of fatigue that still clings to her.

It has been about two days since Luka had been over and her fever had broken. Those two days having gone by in a dazed blur for Marinette. But never the less, the days had came and passed, making today a Monday, the day she's supposed to visit Selina at Wayne manor. At that realization, Marinette rolled out of bed with a groan. She's not quite sure if she's annoyed with having to go to Wayne manor, or if she's annoyed with having to get out of bed and do things today.

She ends up deciding that it's not that she didn't want to see Selina again, it's that she doesn't want to visit Selina at Wayne manor. She didn't want to deal with, well, for lack of a better descriptor, the rest of the thief's family, and whatever charade and games they seem to be playing.

Marinette would rather deal with as few fake rich people as possible while she's in Gotham. And she's already interacted with more than her quota.

She debates whether or not to call the woman, who has been some form of a parental figure and mentor to her during her less than legal activities, to cancel… (yeah she didn't think it was a good idea either.)

She scrunched her eyes and with a sigh, Marinette started to get ready for the day, preparing a bag with her sketchbooks and the borrowed dress, that had since been washed, to be returned.

Once ready, she does one last check to make sure that she has everything that she needs before heading down to the garage floor. Another small debate coming up, if she should take the car or her bike. It takes a few moments to decide, but Marinette's current outfit, not being the most convenient to ride in, practically makes the choice for her.

She climbs into the passenger seat of her car, pulling out the familiar charm, once again using it to create a sentient being.

"Where to?" The senti questioned, taking the keys to start the car.

Marinette sighed, leaning her head back against the seat. This being her last chance to change her mind and do something else for the day.

No, she couldn't just ditch, Selina would somehow track her down I'd she did and drag most likely drag her back to Wayne manor.

"Wayne manor again. Please." The magic user huffed out eventually in defeat.

"Oh? Business or pleasure?" The senti asked with a chuckle, causing Marinette to groan.

"Aunty Lina invited me over for tea." Came Marinette's response, the senti humming in recognition of the mentioned woman.

"That would be Mrs. Selina Kyle Wayne, yes?" Marinette gave a short, lazy, nod of her head. "If Mrs. Kyle knows you are in Gotham, My lady, why not ask for her assistance in the retrieval of the miraculous you are currently tracking?."

Marinette gave a hum in response, thinking the idea over before shaking her head.

"Lina was the one to get in the way of the retrieval in the first place- well- more her family, the Waynes, than Lina herself. But she still gave away the fact that we know each other, which is what had made the Waynes more cautious about leaving me by myself." The magic user explained. The ringing of her phone interrupts her.

Marinette pulls her phone out of her bag, pressing the 'accept call' and 'speaker' buttons once she sees who it is.

"Hey Blue. Do you want to tell me why the court is being questioned by the bats about a suspicious civilian by the name of Marinette Dupain-Cheng?" The voice of her childhood best friend, and the current wielder of the turtle miraculous, asked with a lazy, almost teasing tone.

"Not particularly, no. I'm sure you and the others could figure it out by yourselves." Marinette states as her answer to the question asked, and not the question hinted at.

"Okay, what if I take a guess, then? Hmm?." The turtle wielder prompts. "Cause I'm thinking that you are currently in the bats' territory, Gotham, doing something that they don't like, so most likely stealing. Except I haven't seen any news of a missing 'family heirloom' or 'museum artifact', so what's going on?"

And that- was a very good point. Why would the bats be onto her if she hadn’t stolen anything yet? She hadn't even been in Gotham long enough for them to know what was happening if they had somehow, by whatever twist in fate, figured out that Marinette was the one stealing jewels from scattered locations which would be impossible to get to in the time frame she does. It was either she messed up big time on one of her other jewelry heists, or Selina told them. Except the fellow thief wouldn't do that, which leaves the last possible people, the Waynes.

It was either the Waynes had a way to contact the bats and gave them the heads up, knowing about Selina's less than legal activities.

Or… oh… she's dumb. She's absolutely stupid.

Catwoman dated batman.

Selina is Catwoman, who isl in a relationship with batman.

Batman is Bruce Wayne.

The Waynes are the bats.

"-ue? Are you still there?" Nino questioned. Essentially telling the magic user that she had been quiet for too long and he is getting worried.

"Yeah- yeah I'm still here. Just- thinking is all." Marinette informs him tiredly with a whine of frustration when she realized that the Waynes are the bats, and it was just another fact of life.

Just another way that fate decided to play with her life.

"... what do you know that you're not supposed to know?" The turtle asked after missing a beat, having recognized Marinette's verbal cues.

"I… might? Have figured out the bats' identities?" Marinette suggests in a high pitched tone of voice as she buried her face into her hands.

There was silence from the other side of the line before the sound of shuffling could be heard.

"Sorry, I had to switch locations…. You what now?" Nino whisper yelled into the phone, causing Marinette to wince.

"It's not like it's hard to figure out." Marinette claimed in her defense.

"Dude, Blue, Mari, feathers. I say this with all my love, but what the fuck? What do you mean, 'it's not like it's hard.' It's the batfams secret identity!" The turtle wielder questioned, voice raising ever so slightly. And yeah, it probably shouldn’t have been anywhere near that easy to figure it out, but once you figure out one, the rest just fall in line.

"I mean- it just sorta fit together? It's not my fault though! I hadn't even been trying to figure out who they are!" Marinette whined in response.

She wasn't too happy about figuring out who the bats are either.

"... I can't tell if you have stupidly good luck. Or stupidly bad luck." Nino states after a few moments of silence.

"Both. Neither. Either. Or." Marinette answered in a flat voice, causing the turtle wielder to chuckle.

"My apologies for interrupting, My lady, but we have arrived. My apologies but you may need to continue your call at a later time." The senti informed her, parking the car in front of the manor, the same as what he did the night of the gala.

At the new voice joining the call, both miraculi users changed the topic, despite the senti having heard the whole conversation.

"Yo! Charles! You should have said something my dude, long time no speak!" Nino claimed, earning a chuckle from the senti.

" Priest of protection, I suppose it has been quite a while since we last spoke." The senti, Charles, greeted.

"Aw- come on- you know you don't have to do the whole title thing." Nino whined, causing Marinette to laugh.

"Good luck trying to get him not to use titles." The magic user said with a snort. "I have to go, but I'll call you later, kay?"

"Yeah, talk to you later blue, we'll try to smooth things out with the bats without giving you away." The turtle said, receiving a hum from Marinette in thanks.

They exchanged goodbyes before hanging up.

"Off you go, My lady." Charles said, holding her car door open with an offered hand.

Marinette blinked at him, unaware of when he had gotten out of the car, but all together, unbothered by it. She takes his hand, stepping out of the car with her bag in hand before throwing the strap over her shoulder.

"Thank you. Same as the gala pick up?" Marinette asked, receiving a nod from the senti.

"Of course, My lady."

With that, the senti got back into the car and drove off. Marinette stood there for a moment or two before walking up the steps to the manor and knocking on the door.

Chapter 6

The designer only had to stand in front of the closed door for a few moments. The door was opened with the quietest click from the handle, revealing one, Alfred Pennyworth, standing behind it, doorknob still in hand.

“Welcome back, My lady.” The former miraculous user greeted with a bow of his head, opening the door wider as an invitation for Marinette to enter.

She stepped in through the doorway, but not before waving the former magic user off.

“Ah- Marinette is fine- No need for titles- especially with the company you keep.” Marinette informed him with a smile.

When Alfred raised a brow at her in questioning, her smile turned awkward and sheepish, realizing her slip of the tongue. She silently curssed herself for making such a stupid mistake.

“Something just tells me that the use of any out of place titles would cause the Waynes to-... thoroughly investigate me… more than they already are.”

The butler nodded his head in understanding.

“I suppose so...Miss.” And while Alfred didn’t use the title of 'my lady', Marinette couldn’t help but huff at the use of any title at all.

Even just the title of 'Miss' made her feel out of place, but she ignored the feeling in exchange of being amused by the way Alfred's face scrunched ever so slightly, soul swirling in barely noticeable discomfort.

“Well, I suppose we should head inside. Mistress Selina is expecting you.” The former miraculous user suggested, gesturing towards the door.

Marinette offered a sheepish smile, nodding her head in agreement before following the butler into the manor. She was led through the maze of halls only to stop in her tracks, gaining the attention of the former miraculous wielder when he noticed her pause.

"Oh! Before I forget- could you return this to Miss Brown?" The designer asked, reaching into her bag and pulling out the borrowed gown.

The old English man took the dress with a nod of his head.

"Is that all?" He asked when she hadn’t begun to walk again.

Marinette tilted her head, thinking over something but deciding not to voice it. A few moments later, she gives a nod of her head.

"For now."

Alfred raised a brow but didn't question her further. He gave a nod of his own before resuming the walk, leading her down the hall to a closed door. He reached up, knocking sharply against the wood, and a few seconds later the call of “Come in.” was heard from inside. Marinette scrunched her brows at the answering call, the voice clearly coming from a male, not a female.

Alfred opened the door, standing off to the side to let the magic user into what appears to be a study or office. And there laid Selina, draped over the couch as if she really was the cat her soul seemed to portray. She perked up once she caught sight of the magic user, smiling sweetly as she sat up, patting the cushion next to herself.

“Hello little kitten, I’m so glad you could make it.” The woman purred in greeting, pulling Marinette into a side hug.

Marinette hummed in response, leaning into the touch, just as she used to before she had disappeared on her mentor, content with the contact.

“Did you bring that little sketch book of your’s, kitten?” The fellow thief questioned.

The young woman in question nodded her head.

“Mhm. It’s in my bag if you want to look through it.” Marinette informed her, tugging her bag into her lap and opening it.

Selina hummed in response, grabbing the mentioned sketch book with a smile. She gave the magic user a quick squeeze before standing up, ruffling Marinette’s hair, and making her way over to the desk where Bruce Wayne, Selina’s husband, sat quietly, acting as though he wasn’t paying them any mind. Marinette did the same for the man that she only knows by association of her pseudo aunt, ignoring him as if he wasn’t even in the room while also being hyper aware of him.

The fellow thief handed the sketch book over to her husband to look through. The man in question took it, seemingly without much thought, and began to look through it.

“These are quite impressive designs.” The man states, but Marinette simply shrugs, not really caring what the man thinks, replying with an absent minded “thank you.”

“Are these all based on jewelry you’ve seen? Like the one mentioned previously?” The man questioned, Selina leaning onto his shoulders to look at the designs herself, as if she hadn’t already seen half of them.

They’re both looking at her. One looking for an answer while the other is gauging her response. Marinette laughs, a light and airy thing. Her mentor was looking for a show, and who was she not to give it?

“An artist can’t solely have one place of inspiration, Mr. Wayne. If I was solely inspired by jewels then people would get bored of my work rather quickly. Given how cut throat the fashion industry is and all.” The magic user explains as if it should be obvious, and it should be for someone like the Waynes.

The man chuckles, an awkward note playing through the air, noticeable to someone with a trained ear.

“I suppose you’re correct, Marinette, was it?” The mentioned designer only smiled sweetly and nodded along.

“That’s right. I do apologize however, while I did bring along my sketch book for you to look at, it was more my intention to hand it off to you and leave to play catch up with Selina.” Marinette informed him with a slight frown, the beginnings of a pout.

The man offers a slightly strained smile, nodding his head in faux understanding. His wife pressed her lips together as if attempting not to smile or laugh.

“Of course. I must apologize as well then, for taking up your time. Do you mind if I hang onto the sketch book, just until you leave of course, to look through it some more.”

“Feel free to look though it as long as you like. It’s an old sketch book anyway, so it’s not needed to be returned right away.” Marinette claims with a nod of her head, Standing up as Selina makes her way over.

“Why don’t we go out shopping, Kitten?” Her mentor asked as they walked out of the office, a smile playing at the edge of a smirk resting gently on her lips.

"I don't see why not." Marinette said in place of an agreement, shrugging her shoulders with a smile tugging at her own lips.

Chapter 7

"So, where to?" The thief questions, looping her former apprentice's arm with her own, on the opposite side of the bluentte’s purse, as they make their way toward the front door where they are met by Alfred.

 

"Enjoy your day out Mistress and Miss.” The Wayne pseudo grandfather said in place of a goodbye or farewell, holding a set of keys out for Selina to grab.

 

“No, ‘try not to get into too much trouble.’ this time?” The thief questioned with a raised brow as she took the car keys from the family butler.

 

Alfred raised a brow at the anti-hero, eyes looking over at the bluenette next to her.

 

“I am unaware of what trouble you could possibly cause during this outing.” Alfred states, holding eye contact with the bluenette. Marinette gave a nod of her head in thanks.

 

“We best be going then.” Selina claimed, looking between the Wayne pseudo grandfather and her former apprentice.

 

“Yes, let's.” Her apprentice agreed, letting Selina lead her out of the manor.

 

“You never answered my question, Kitten, where to?” The anti-hero said, reasking her question.

 

Marinette hums in thought, doing a once over of the thief.

 

"Depends." Came the bluenette's answer.

 

"On?" The cat asked as she guided Marinette over to the car that Alfred had pulled up to the front entry, a nice and expensive looking red car.

 

"Are you going to be a help or a hindrance?" Marinette asked, making and holding eye contact with her former teacher. Watching how her emotions swirled through her eyes, unnoticeable to anyone but the bluenette.

 

"Now, my answer depends on you, Kitten." Selina informs her, not breaking eye contact. The thief knew better than that. She knows that breaking eye contact with her former apprentice was the easiest way to break the Kitten's, oh so fragile, trust.

 

Marinette gave her former teacher another once over before nodding. The thief gave a nod in return, offering a warm smile as she gestured to the passenger side of the car. Marinette walked around the front of the car, letting her fingertips trace invisible patterns onto the car's surface as she did, before stepping into the passenger seat of the car.

 

"So?" The feline anti-hero questioned, stepping into the driver's seat with a pleased smile.

 

"You know, you never answered my question." The bluenette states, gesturing for the car to be started.

 

"What question, Kitten?" Selina asked, with a fond roll of her eyes as she started the car.

 

"How familiar you are with the court." Marinette asked again, causing her former mentor to pause, hand on the gearshift.

 

"Ah- that question." Selina hummed, shifting the car from park to drive, her lips pursed in thought before shrugging.

 

"That’s not my place to answer." The thief decided as they drove off of Wayne's property.

 

Marinette sat still in her seat, watching the world around them as the view seemed to run from them. She looked back over to her former mentor, who was now mostly focused on the road ahead.

 

“Just shopping.” The magic user decided, receiving a look through the corner of her former mentor’s eyes.

 

“Alright. Just shopping, it is.” The thief echoed softly, reaching over, she grabbed Marinette’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing it and focusing back on the drive.

 

The two thieves let silence fall over them, with only the growl of the car's engine filling the air as the outside world moved around them. For whatever reason, a reason that the magic user already knew of, but her mentor did not, there was no traffic on their way to the shopping district. There was no backed up traffic, no broken lights, or car accidents on their way there. The sidewalks, for a reason currently only known to the magic user, were just as busy as the streets, which was to say, not at all. Hardly any one seemed to be out and about today, and those who were, seemed to mind their own business or already engaged in quiet conversation.

 

The cat-based anti-hero parked the car along the street, taking in the oddity that was, a quiet and peaceful day in Gotham, New Jersey, the capital of crime.

 

“Strange.” The feline murmured under her breath, but the little blue bird paid it no mind.

 

“I’m not as familiar with this city as you are, Aunty. Where to, first?” The little blue asked the black haired feline.

 

“You. Not familiar with an area?” Selina asked in disbelief and amusement.

 

Marinette hummed, nodding her head as if to cemont what she had said to her former mentor.

 

“Alright.” Selina sighed with a roll of her eyes. “Why don’t we start with clothing, shoes, and jewels since those are the closestes. We can branch out from there, depending on where we end up and how busy it is.”

 

Marinette smiled, giving a nod of her head.

 

“Sounds good.” The bluenette agrees, adjusting her cross body bag as she opens the car door, stepping out and onto the sidewalk, before closing the door behind her. Selina stepped up to Marinette’s side a moment later, locking the car before safely tucking the car keys away.

 

The thief smiled as she ushered her kitten into the first store, and began to browse around the shop. Marinette huffed in amusement when she saw a few of her own pieces in the little boutique.

 

“The embroidery is just lovely, no?” A sales clerk asked, stepping next to the two thief as he eyed their casual but expensive clothing and style.

 

“Hm, yes, but one of the threads got nicked at some point.” Marinette claimed, pointing to the part where the magic user knew her signature was supposed to be.

 

“Oh?” The sales clerk questioned, taking out a pair of glasses and putting them on to investigate the piece.

 

“Ah- what a shame, but if you like the piece we can have the designer prepare it for you.” The sales clerk offers with a polite smile.

 

The little blue bird hummed, looking over to her former teacher with amusement.

 

“The designer is currently in house?” Marinette questioned with an innocent tilt of her head.

 

“She is. I’m confident that she can repair the damage if you wish to purchase this piece.” The sales clerk offered with a pleased nod of his head.

 

“Perhaps I can speak with this designer?” The magic user offered, eyeing her own design with interest as she looked back over the details.

 

Selina shook her head in amusement, pulling out a platinum card that she may have taken from her husband without his knowledge, but at this point it was to be expected that she took his card. It seemed almost more suspicious if she didn’t take his card.

 

The salesman eyed the card with wide eyes full of desire.

 

“Of course. Right this way.” The sales clerk agreed easily

Notes:

Sorry for the long break- had some medical issues- turns out it chronic- so I'll try and update when I can or have the energy to.

This update was brought to by the small shot of dopamine gifted from SquareBrain's lovely comments.

I love receiving feedback and loved reading your comments. I might not always reply in general, but I read each and every comment you guys leave.

Thank you so much for being patient with me.

I'll hopefully update soon.

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 5 of MGI Civil War! Timari