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let me tell you a secret

Summary:

One day Remus and Sirius decide to play a dangerous game and start flirting with each other.
Boundaries are blurred, feelings are uncovered (and other things are discovered).
 

Inspired by The Tension and the Terror by MollyMaryMarie except this one has no actual smut because I'm a coward.

Notes:

this was initially supposed to be like 800 words, i have no idea what happened

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It all started because Sirius fucking Black decided that it would be a good idea to try on eyeliner. "Just for fun".

Remus hadn't known that "fun" could make him feel like he was running out of air.

It had taken him more than a few seconds to regain composure after Sirius had walked into the Great Hall and sat just in front of him, as he usually did. Of course, Remus had noticed the twin black lines on his eyelids almost immediately. He had spent too much time observing this face to miss such a major difference.

What he had not expected, however, was the effect that those two dark lines would have on him. He already knew that Sirius was handsome - he had spent too many nights trying to fall asleep only to be haunted by Sirius' delicate features whenever he closed his eyes to not be aware of how particularly attractive his friend was. Who would've guessed that there was any room for improvement?

Too busy daydreaming about the boy that was sitting right in front of him, Remus didn't hear when James asked him a question. He also didn't hear when James asked again. The only thing that got him out of his torpor was Sirius' foot kicking him under the table.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"James asked you a question, dumbass."

"Well you didn't need to hit me that hard!"

"Oh, you think that's hard?"

Remus almost missed it. He almost didn't catch the suave voice that Sirius had used, or the tiny, tiny smirk that appeared on his face for a second.

If he had missed it, he simply would've thought that Sirius was teasing him, as he always was. But this was something else.

Had Sirius Black just flirted with him?

Surely he hadn't. There was no way that Remus could logically explain it if he had.

"Are you okay, love?"

Remus looked up at Sirius once again. The bastard.

He had obviously understood what Remus was thinking, and he had decided to make it worse.

Why? Was he making fun of him? Was this his way of telling him that he knew Remus wasn't straight? Surely he was more sensible than that.

Despite his great despair, Remus tried not to let the situation get the better of him. Sirius wanted to flirt? Fine. He could flirt, alright.

"I am now that I've seen you with eyeliner on," Remus grinned.

His heart burst with both love and pride when he picked up on Sirius' flushed cheeks and surprised look. So he wasn't expecting Remus to play along. All the more reason for him to go all in.

He winked at Sirius, and if his inability to answer the question James had just asked him was any indicator, then Sirius wasn't as indifferent to Remus' charm as the latter would've thought.

 

***

 

Remus banged on their bathroom door.

"Are you almost done?" he half-yelled at Sirius, who had been locked in the room for the past thirty minutes.

"Patience, Moony. You know that I perform better when I take my time."

Even through the closed door Remus could picture the satisfied smirk on Sirius lips, the one he always harbored when he flirted with Remus.

After months of back and forth, Remus had gotten used to it. Yes, his best friend flirted with him almost constantly. But that didn't mean anything. Look, he did the same with everybody else.

Once, James had asked Sirius to show him how to do a particularly difficult spell, and when he had commented on Sirius' perfect control over his wrists, Sirius had simply answered "Wouldn't you like to know what else I can do with them?"

So it wasn't personal or anything. Sirius was a flirt, that was just how he was, and his latest victim was Remus. No matter that Remus spent every hour of every day pining over the dark-haired boy. No matter that to Remus, the flirting meant a little bit more than what it did to Sirius.

"And you know that I like it better when it's quick and sweaty."

If Remus hadn't known any better, he would've sworn that he had heard a strangled cough on the other side of the door.

 

***

 

Playing truth or dare was never a good idea, but it was an especially terrible one when Sirius was wearing a crop top and Remus was drunk and he had been struggling all evening not to openly gape at the skin the cropped shirt revealed.

Having a crush on Sirius Black was the absolute worse. The boy was too attractive for his own good, and he knew it.

"Okay Sirius, your turn. Truth or dare?" Peter asked.

"Truth."

"When was the last time you snogged somebody?"

"Dare."

James arched an eyebrow, but Peter only smirked.

"Give Remus a hickey."

Sirius' eyes snapped at Remus, a dangerous fire burning inside them.

Without looking away, he asked: "Where?"

Peter had obviously meant on the neck, but the question made Remus imagine all the other spots where Sirius could leave hickeys. His face suddenly felt very hot. Not just his face.

"On the neck, Padfoot, where else?"

Peter sounded exasperated, but it was hard to tell if this was how he actually felt or if he was just putting on an act.

"You'd be surprised the amount of skin you can mark with hickeys," Sirius said to Peter but his eyes still hadn't left Remus.

Eager to be able to breathe normally again, Remus tried to hurry Sirius: "Come on, let's get this over with now."

His remark, however, seemed to compel Sirius to take his time even more.

"Oh, yeah, Remus?" he said with a mischievous grin. "You want me to be quick, don't you? And why is that, exactly? So you don't have time to realize how much you truly want me?"

By now, James and Peter were used to these kinds of comments, but that last sentence still left them speechless.

As it did Remus, who was slowly but surely starting to lose his mind over how much he indeed wanted Sirius.

"In your wildest dreams, Black."

He tried to sound nonchalant. The look in Sirius' eyes made it hard to guess if he had been successful or not.

Before he could ponder over it for much longer though, Sirius leaned over and aligned his face with Remus' throat.

His mere breath against the sensitive skin was enough for Remus to feel like he was going to explode. But it ended up being nothing compared to the feeling of ecstasy he experienced when soft lips met his neck, kissing it gently at first before becoming more aggressive. After a few seconds it became clear that Sirius intended to leave a mark that wouldn't disappear before several weeks had passed, kind of as if he were marking his territory.

Remus wished that the idea of Sirius claiming him as his didn't make him feel so warm inside.

Sirius sucked on the skin and bit it lightly until Remus couldn't take it anymore and had to gently push him away before his enthusiasm started manifesting itself in other parts of his body.

He tried to play it cool by calling out his friend instead.

"Careful, Sirius. If you keep sucking on my skin like that I'm gonna start thinking that you're desperate for more."

It worked, seeing as Sirius stilled and then moved away from Remus' neck. He immediately missed the contact of Sirius' lips and tongue against him but he was relieved that his heartbeat finally slowed.

Sirius was staring at him with a look that would've made all the girls from Gryffindor sway.

"And what if I am?"

Remus tried hard not to choke on his own spit.

"You don't mean that," he whispered.

To that, Sirius did not answer. He simply arched his eyebrows in a suggestive way and then returned to where he had originally been seated.

If James and Peter were bothered or confused by the tension between their two friends, they didn't show it. The game resumed, but all Remus could think about was the mark on his throat that he was sure contrasted immensely with his pale skin. All he could think about was that people would notice it. All he could think about was the smug look on Sirius' face whenever his eyes fell on the hickey he had made.

Remus wondered if this was how friends were supposed to act. He was fairly sure it wasn't.

 

***

 

When a couple of days later Remus and Sirius found themselves alone in the dorm, Remus got vivid flashbacks of how it felt to have his mouth move against his throat. He wondered how that mouth would feel against his own, with what intensity Sirius would kiss him, how long it would last.

As he was thinking about kissing Sirius and about their game of truth or dare from the other night, Remus was suddenly reminded of something.

"Why didn't you reply to Peter's truth?" he asked completely out of the blue.

Sirius, who had previously been focused on whatever book he was reading, raised his head and looked at Remus with confusion.

"Huh?"

Remus rolled his eyes, although he did realize that he hadn't given enough context for Sirius to understand his question.

"On Thursday, when we were playing truth or dare with the boys. Peter asked you when was the last time you'd snogged somebody and you dodged the question."

Sirius' eyes sparkled with understanding. And maybe with something else, too.

"Why, can't stop thinking about it, Moony?"

Remus would've been embarrassed, but he was too busy overanalysing everything Sirius said.

"That's twice that you've avoided the question now. Got something to hide?"

He tried to adopt a teasing tone but deep down he was truly desperate to know the answer. Why didn't Sirius want to just say it? Had it been so recent that he was scared his friends would tell him off for not telling them about it immediately? This seemed unlikely as the boys had stopped expecting Sirius to tell them about all his conquests a long time ago. But Remus couldn't understand why else he insisted on staying silent. Unless...

"What? Don't tell me you haven't snogged anyone in months because you're too busy dreaming about my ass."

He was joking, of course. Obviously. So why was Sirius blushing? His cheeks were getting redder, right? Remus wasn't just imagining this?

"Your ass, Moony?" Sirius finally replied with a voice so deep and seductive that it took every bit of self-control Remus had not to jump on his best friend and kiss him right there. "Oh, love. We both know you're the one who can't resist my ass."

That much was true, but Remus would die before he'd admit it.

"Your ass? Please, don't give yourself too much credit. It's average at best."

It was far from average.

"So you recognize you've been looking?"

Sirius smugly watched as Remus' entire face turned red.

"Well, not on purpose!"

Most definitely on purpose. All the time.

"Sure, Moony. I believe you."

The obvious sarcasm in Sirius' voice made Remus want to just open the window and jump.

"I'm serious. You need to stop thinking so highly of yourself. I'm sure that the people who make out with you would agree, if they even dare touch it in the first place."

"Dare?" Sirius retorted with a smile. For someone who was being roasted, he sure as hell seemed very happy. "So you're telling me that if you were the one making out with me you wouldn't want to grab my ass under any circumstances?"

"I definitely wouldn't."

Sirius leaned back against the wall in a relaxed position, his smirk never leaving his lips.

"Okay, Remus. Then prove it."

Remus' ears started ringing.

"What?"

"I dare you to make out with me right now and not touch my ass."

Remus couldn't tell if he was being serious. Was he actually asking him to kiss him? Was it that easy?

He wanted to ask, he wanted to make sure that Sirius understood perfectly what he was asking for. But he knew what he had heard, and he was afraid that Sirius would change his mind if he asked for confirmation.

"This is unfair, Sirius, you know I hate to turn down a challenge," he whined while at the same time stepping closer to the bed where Sirius was sitting.

"Then don't."

Sirius' eyes sparkled in a way that made it clear this was exactly what he wanted.

When Remus closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Sirius', however, the latter still managed to seem surprised. As if he hadn't really thought that Remus would kiss him. As if he hadn't really thought that it was possible.

Most of all, he seemed to be disconcerted by Remus' intensity, by the contrast between how soft he usually was and how hard he was kissing at the moment.

Because of his surprise, Sirius let Remus control the kiss for a few seconds. Then, regaining his composure, he kissed back with ardor, grabbing Remus' shoulders and making him climb on the bed so that he was on top of him, knees on either side of Sirius' legs.

Remembering that this kiss was nothing but a challenge, a point to prove, Sirius decided to go all in to make Remus lose. He placed his hands on the curves of Remus' hips and switched them around, effectively positioning himself on top of the other boy.

Remus being under him, the temptation to slide his hands down his back and on his ass had to be stronger. Pressing his hips against Remus', Sirius could feel that he wasn't the only one to be affected physically by the situation.

Smirking against Remus' kiss, he gently bit his lower lip and relished the light moan it got out of his friend.

He could feel his hands moving up and down his back, almost shaking in anticipation. He knew that Remus was using every bit of self-control he had not to let his hands glide a little lower. Victory was close.

He could feel Remus growing warmer and harder against him with every passing second, and he wondered if this moment was as euphoric for him as it was for Sirius.

Gently moving away from his lips to start kissing his cheek and then his neck, Sirius finally pressed his lips right under Remus' ear, his warm breath getting a shiver out of the boy.

"I know you want to touch me, Moony," he whispered as suavely as he could. "It's okay, I won't tell."

If Remus' uneven breathing was any indication, it was getting harder and harder for him to resist. And yet, he didn't give in.

"I'm not that easy, Pads."

His remark made Sirius chuckle: as if he weren't lying completely defenseless under him right this moment.

He tried again.

"Let me tell you a secret, Moony."

He paused for a few seconds for dramatic effects, because he was Sirius Black and because he could.

"I really want you to touch me right now."

Such simple words, and yet they were all it took for Remus to let down all his walls and finally give in to Sirius.

With a shiver, he let his hands slide down lower than they had before, until he felt the curve of Sirius' ass, until he heard his friend moan on top of him just before he attacked his lips again.

Or at least, just before he tried to attack his lips again. Just as Remus was lifting himself up, trying to taste Sirius' lips again, the latter got up from the bed and let out a triumphant cry.

"Ha! I knew you couldn't resist me!"

Immediately, Remus' body turned cold. Was this really all that Sirius wanted? For a moment, while they were kissing, it had felt like it was more than just a stupid challenge.

But maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Remus, left lying on the bed all hot and turned on, felt humiliated. And stupid.

Cursing himself internally, he rolled on the other side of the bed, away from Sirius so that the latter couldn't see his face.

"Congrats, Sirius," he muttered, talking to the wall. "Hope you're proud of that one."

Without much more ceremony, he got up from Sirius' bed and walked out of the dorm, leaving his friend alone and confused as to why the atmosphere in the room had changed so quickly.

 

***

 

He was such an idiot. Why had he let Sirius convince him? How had they gone from jokingly flirting to full on making out in a matter of seconds?

And more importantly, why had he let himself enjoy it?

Remus was pacing back and forth in the Room of Requirement, replaying again and again in his head the events that had occurred just a few minutes before.

He had kissed Sirius. For several minutes. Worse, he had touched Sirius' ass.

And he had liked every second of it.

How was it possible for one single man to be this hot? It didn't seem fair.

It wasn't fair, because now all Remus could do was think about his lips on his and his hair falling down on his cheeks and his pelvis against his own and his ass cheeks under his palms. How was he supposed to ever think about anything else?

But what haunted him most was the swiftness with which he had backed away, almost immediately after Remus had finally given in and lost his bet.

What haunted him most was that Sirius had been thinking about the challenge all along while Remus could barely even remember his own name.

What haunted him most was how little this kiss had meant to Sirius, and how much it had meant to him.

Lost in thought, Remus didn't hear the door of the Room of Requirement open and close again. He didn't hear Sirius approach either. The only thing that woke him up from his trance was Sirius' hand gently settling down on his shoulder.

"Sirius!" he startled. "How- What are you doing here?"

"I followed you."

"No, I mean how did you get in? I needed to be alone."

Sirius shrugged.

"Guess the room decided that i needed to see you more than you needed to not see me."

Remus felt a pang in his chest. How could Sirius say things like that and then not expect him to fall in love?

"What do you want, then?"

Sirius looked upset.

"Why did you leave so suddenly?"

His tone was confusing, a mix of sadness and anger. Why would he be angry?

"Why do you care?" Remus replied bitterly.

"Why do I care?" He laughed but there was no humor in his voice. "Oh, I don't know, maybe because one second we were kissing and the next you were walking out without any explanation?"

Remus took Sirius' accusation at heart.

"Are you for real right now? No, Sirius, that is not what happened. What happened is that one second we were kissing and the next you were mocking me for losing that stupid fucking challenge. So what you are not going to do is act like this is my fault."

Sirius looked at him, an unsure expression in his eyes and a light frown creasing the skin between his eyebrows.

"You ran off because I stopped kissing you?"

His voice had suddenly turned softer and Remus' anger washed away, quickly replaced by embarrassment at the realization of what he had just admitted.

"Well I wasn't going to just stay on the bed and wait for you to kiss me again, was I?" he asked, not bearing to look at Sirius.

"You... you wanted me to keep kissing you."

It wasn't a question but Sirius' tone of disbelief made it seem like one.

Looking at the floor, Remus just said: "Can we please stop talking about this? I've been humiliated enough for one day."

When Sirius didn't answer, Remus just sighed and turned away, heading to the door. He wasn't even angry anymore, just sad and disappointed in himself for having believed for even one second that Sirius would-

His thoughts were interrupted by Sirius grabbing his arm and turning his around before he could read the door.

"What are you-"

Without even giving him time to finish his sentence, Sirius pinned him against the wall and urgently pressed their lips together.

Again, Remus was overwhelmed by the wave of emotions that came crashing in.

He didn't know why Sirius was kissing him, he didn't know what he was feeling, he didn't know when he would inevitably stop and leave him heartbroken again.

But he did know that he had never needed anything more than he needed Sirius' lips on his and his hands on his waist, crashing their bodies together in a somewhat desperate embrace.

So he kissed him back with everything he had. He knew it wasn't wise, he knew he should've just pushed him away and tell him to fuck off. He didn't think he had it in him though.

So he abandoned himself to Sirius' mouth and hands and arms. And when his lips moved to his neck and kissed the hickey they had made only a few days ago, Remus was sure that his knees would've given in if Sirius hadn't been holding him.

For the second time that day he started to feel aroused and he wondered if Sirius had any idea what he was doing to him.

"I'm sorry I stopped kissing you," the latter whispered against Remus' skin. "I thought that if I kept going you'd punch me for being a poof or something."

Remus smiled sadly. "I don't think it'd be very fair of me to get mad at you for wanting something that I want too."

Sirius chuckled in relief before going back to torturing the sensitive skin of Remus' neck.

"Oh, yeah? And what is it that you want exactly?"

Remus knew that Sirius could feel the bulge in his jeans. He knew that because he himself could feel Sirius'.

That knowledge was the only thing that gave him enough confidence to slip his hand under the waistband of Sirius' pants.

"What do you think?"

 

***

 

Remus lay back on the bed they had willed into existence in the Room of Requirement. He didn't think he had ever been this exhausted and satisfied at the same time. Next to him, Sirius moved a little until he was nestled against Remus, nose against neck and arms around waist.

"That was..." Remus started, looking for words.

"Mmh?"

Sirius was waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"That was nice," he said simply.

Sirius grinned. "Really? I never would've guessed given the way you were screaming my name-"

"Shut up!" Remus issued him. "Gosh, I don't know why I'm still here, this is too much embarrassment for a day."

He was mostly joking but Sirius must have heard something in his voice because he propped himself up on his elbows and looked into Remus' eyes. There was so much intensity in his irises that Remus felt a little short of breath.

"Give me a challenge," Sirius said out of the blue.

"What?"

"Give me a challenge that I'll lose so we can be even."

Remus smiled at the attention, at the way Sirius wanted to make sure that their rocky start didn't undermine what they could become.

Remus thought of all the things he could ask, all the things that would make them end up exactly where they were right this moment when Sirius eventually failed.

But there was only one thing that Remus wanted Sirius to fail at.

"Don't fall in love with me."

It was barely a whisper, a prayer in the night.

Remus' heartbeat accelerated as Sirius' eyes opened wide.

He didn't know if it was too soon to be talking about love. He didn't know how Sirius felt, didn't know how long he had liked Remus for.

All he knew was that they had been flirting for months, and that he had liked him for much longer than that.

All he knew was that he was already in love.

"Yeah, I think we can scrape that one already, Moony," Sirius murmured, his voice slightly unsteady.

"Why?"

"Because I can't accept a challenge that I've already lost."

Notes:

thanks for reading!! i always appreciate kudos and feedbacks :)