Chapter 1: Part 1: Prologue
Summary:
In which Jane witnesses the beginning of the end.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Prologue
The SSV Normandy
“ The Arcturus Prime Relay is in range. Initiating transmission sequence .”
The pilot’s voice echoed throughout the ship, competing with the cacophony of voices typical of an Alliance CIC. Lieutenant Jane Shepard picked up her pace, matching her stride to that of the ship’s XO walking just ahead of her.
“Commander,” A corporal nodded at him before moving his gaze to rest on her a moment later, adding, “Lieutenant.” She nodded back, her eyes flicking to him for a heartbeat.
“ We are connected. Calculating transit mass and destination .”
The two officers made their way down the CIC toward the cockpit, parting the crowds of crew members fluttering from console to console. The harsh clanking of the man’s armored boots ahead of her echoed along the low corridor, her own standard issue combat boots producing a softer thud.
“The relay is hot. Acquiring approach vector. All stations secure for transit .”
As she made her way toward the cockpit, Jane watched as the man ahead came to a stop alongside the tall, brown plated turian already standing just behind the pilot’s seat. Slowing, she finally came to a stop at the entrance to the cockpit.
“ Board is green. Approach run has begun .”
Jane glanced outside the window to see the relay looming ever closer as they approached. It grew to encompass the entire window as they came alongside it, emphasizing its immense size. The eerie blue glow cast it’s light across everything in the room, giving it an unnatural appearance.
“ Hitting the relay in 3… 2… 1…”
She leaned her weight against the bulkhead, bracing herself at the same time as the others standing. With a soft jerk, she could feel the moment that they were caught up in the relay’s field, and within a blink of the eye, the SSV Normandy was shot off like a bullet across the galaxy.
Being the pride of the Alliance, the SSV Normandy was a marvel of human and turian engineering; proving once and for all that cooperation could produce amazing results. Funded in part by the Citadel Council, and staffed by Systems Alliance personnel, only the best were handpicked for its maiden voyage by none other than Captain David Anderson himself. She couldn’t be more proud to have been selected as one of the ground team, regardless of the hazy details surrounding the mission’s purpose. But the most pleasant surprise had been the man selected as the ship’s XO. Commander John Shepard, N7 ranked vanguard, savior of Elysium, and her older brother.
Jane’s eyes returned to the window, and she crossed her arms as she watched the stars come to a sudden stop. She tuned out the chatter around her, basking in the view for a moment. God, she loved space. Her last stint on Earth had lasted a few weeks, so it was wonderful to be out amongst the stars again. Not that she hated Earth, but she didn’t particularly love it either. Not like John did. She supposed it was because he had some distant happy memories of time before their parents died, or something like that. Being a few years younger, all she had left were the scars that came part and parcel with a childhood on the streets, which weren’t enough to endear the overpopulated human homeworld to her.
Suddenly, the turian turned and left, and she returned her focus to John and the other men in front of her.
“I hate that guy.” She could almost hear the pout in Joker’s voice as he sulked in his pilot’s seat.
“Nihlus gave you a compliment… so you hate him?” Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko piped up, glancing over from his position at another console.
“You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way out of the bathroom? That’s good.” Jane snorted lightly, trying to contain a bark of laughter, “I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead. So that’s incredible!” She could already tell she was going to like Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, nicknamed “Joker” for some reason she’d have to inquire about later. She’d only known him for about a week so far, but they already got along well. She generally kept a healthy distance between herself and her crewmates during most missions, it helped to keep things impersonal. Cleaner that way. But every now and then, she clicked with a few of them, finding friendship with them to be almost second nature. You couldn’t help but like Joker.
“Besides,” The pilot added after a moment, “Spectres are trouble. I don’t like having him on board. Call me paranoid.”
“You’re paranoid.” Kaidan replied without a pause, “The Council helped fund this project. They have a right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment.”
“Yeah, that is the official story. But only an idiot believes the official story.” Jane had to agree, there was something they weren’t being told, that much was obvious. Things didn’t seem to line up quite right, not for this supposed performance test. Two N7 ranked officers serving under an N7 ranked captain? Not just them, but the entire crew was exceptional. And add a Spectre to that?
“They don’t send Spectres on shakedown runs.” John added thoughtfully, taking the words right out of her mouth. Knowing that John agreed just settled it in her mind, something was up.
“So there’s more going on here than the Captain’s letting on.” The statement hung in the air, all four of them stewing in it for a moment before the intercom crackled on.
“Joker! Status report.” Captain Anderson barked, breaking the spell. A quick back and forth followed regarding the state of the ship and the next steps needing to be taken, and Jane felt her eyes begin to drift back to the view out the window.
“Aye, aye, Captain. Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is heading your way.”
“He’s already here, Lieutenant.” The Captain’s sharp remark whipped through the receiver, and Jane felt one corner of her lips curl up in a small, crooked smirk. She could practically feel Joker’s cocky attitude wilt. “Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing.”
“You get that, Commander?” Joker asked as John sighed and shifted his weight slightly.
“He sounds angry. Something must have gone wrong with the mission.” With that, he turned and made his way out of the cockpit and through the CIC. As he passed Jane, their eyes met and his lips quirked upwards slightly as he nodded to her and continued onwards.
“Great.” Jane drawled, looking back at the men in the seats in front of her, her sardonic smile still in place, “You piss the captain off and now the Commander is going to pay for it.” Joker visibly jumped, turning his head slightly to see her take a few steps forward to stand behind his chair.
“ Jesus , Shepard, make a sound or something if you’re about. Almost broke a rib…” He grumbled rubbing his side before adding, “Look, don’t blame me. The captain’s always in a bad mood.” She uncrossed her arms, stepping up to stand in the vacated place behind the pilot’s chair.
“Only when he’s talking to you, Joker.” Kaidan added, side eyeing the both of them. As his eyes fell upon her, Jane felt herself stiffen. She’d never had a posting alongside Lieutenant Alenko before, he was something of an unknown quantity. But as another member of the ground team, she supposed she was going to need to get to know him soon. “So,” he coughed suddenly, looking away again, “You’re the Commander’s sister, right? That must get confusing, but I guess it works with you both having different ranks so people can tell you apart.”
“And you know, the small fact that he's a dude and she’s not.” Joker chipped in with dripping sarcasm.
“Well, I mean, yeah, of course. Obviously they look almost nothing alike. I just meant that they share the same last name, must get confusing sometimes.” She felt Kaidan’s eyes on her again, and she just shrugged.
“Eh, you get used to it. Plenty of people share names even if they aren’t related, they cope.” Jane turned to leave, and to her surprise, Kaidan got up to follow.
“See ya…” Joker raised a hand in a lazy farewell before returning to his controls.
“How did both you and your brother end up on this mission?” Kaiden asked as he caught up with her, “The chances seem pretty slim, have you ever served with the Commander on a mission before?”
“There’s a first time for everything. Captain Anderson requested us both for this mission personally.” Kaidan’s eyes widened at that, so she added, “We know him from back when we enlisted. Long story.” She looked away, making it clear that the topic was over. He dropped it and the conversation lapsed as she increased her stride heading toward the stairs to the crew deck.
It was an honor to finally get to serve under Anderson, even if the details regarding the mission were so suspicious. It felt like yesterday she was just a scrappy teenage street tough for the Reds, caught with her hand fishing for the wallet of the decorated war veteran Lieutenant Anderson. Jane smiled at the memory, embarrassing as it was. She’d been mortified and furious at the time, little had she known how that encounter would change both her and John’s lives for the better.
Suddenly, her omni-tool buzzed as the com channel sprang to life again.
“Shepard, Alenko, suit up, double time.” John barked in her ear, and she could tell by his clipped tone that something was wrong, “Meet me in the cargo hold ready to hit the ground running ASAP. There’s been a change of plans.” She felt a chill go down her arms as she hurried to her locker in the crew quarters and grabbed her equipment. In silence, they donned their undersuits followed by their armor. Her fingers brushed along the red stripe on her forearm before she turned and made for the elevator.
Once they’d gotten down to the cargo bay, they beelined to their respective weapons lockers, and Jane pulled out and situated her prized Kuwashii brand visor. Her eyes flicked as it booted up, displaying information as she looked around. John was standing by the cargo bay doors talking to the Captain about something she couldn’t quite make out. She grabbed her assault rifle and pistol, holstering them before pulling out and checking the sights of her trusty sniper rifle. Happy with it, she holstered it, too, and walked over to join the others. Once they were assembled, Anderson looked them all over before launching into the debrief.
As the Captain brought them up to speed about the Prothean beacon and the current attack by an unknown enemy on the colony of Eden Prime, Jane felt her face harden as her fists clenched. The initial interest she’d felt upon learning the truth behind their mission was quickly overridden with concern and the usual pre mission expectancy.
But when he called up the video clip of the attack, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she laid eyes upon the giant ship, or was it an enormous metallic hand…? She’d never seen anything like it, not even during her N classes. No race had ships with that silhouette. A new race? How was it even possible that something that massive was capable of making landfall?
As their feet hit the ground some time later, the eerie silence was broken only by far off explosions and odd metallic echoes. Ash drifted down from the sky as they made their way toward their destination, and Jane couldn’t shake the ominous feeling that something was horribly, terribly wrong.
Chapter 2: Part 1: Chapter 1
Summary:
In which Garrus doesn't find what he wants to.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 1
Shalta Ward, 1 Week Later
“Move! Get out of the way!” Garrus Vakarian shouted as he dodged between two asari, nearly bowling them over before catching his footing and propelling himself toward the salarian escaping ahead of him. A terrified visage glanced back at him quickly before sliding around a corner and out of sight. Garrus willed his legs to move faster, cursing his heavy C-Sec issued armor. He couldn’t afford to lose this one, he was his last link in this spirits forsaken investigation. At this point, all his other leads were cold, and his gut told him that this one would lead where he needed it to, if only he could stop him from getting away.
Garrus whipped around the corner, but to his dismay he could see the green head of the salarian bobbing through the enormous crowd coming and going from one of the most popular shopping districts on this ward. Cursing, he propelled himself into the mass of people, pushing and shoving to ensure he could keep his prey in his sights. People pushed back, yelling and cursing at him, but he continued onward, his eyes never leaving the salarian. Garrus knew he was running out of time, as just beyond was one of the larger tourist transportation ports in the area, with thousands of people coming and going per hour. If he lost the salarian there, he would disappear among the crowds like a ghost. Growling, he pushed himself to go even faster. Before he knew it, the sign for the port began to loom above, moving closer step by step. Panic began to well up in his throat, and in desperation, he whipped his side arm out.
“Everybody down!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, as he drew his pistol up and took aim at the back of the escaping salarian. Screams erupted as everyone learched back, limbs pushing and skittering to get away. But as he took a deep breath to calm his shaking arm, doubt started to push in. Shooting him would certainly slow him down, but accidentally killing him would answer none of his questions. In the split second he wavered, his target disappeared, already outside of his reach.
“Damn it!” Garrus dropped his gun to his side, holstering it and clenching his fist. He ran toward the port entrance, but he knew it was a fruitless cause. He shouldn’t have hesitated, he should have just acted. Fortune only favors the bold, afterall. Turning the corner into the port entrance, he scanned the area. It was a rabbit warren of doors, entrances, halls, and gates. Plenty of salarians insight, as well as hundreds of others, but not the one he sought. Anger and self recrimination bubbled up, and he smashed his armored fist into the nearest bulkhead. Sighing in defeat, he turned and made his way back.
This had probably been a doomed investigation from the very beginning, but this lead had seemed so promising. The salarian’s terrified face floated in his mind as his feet dragged him back to the nearest local transport console. He had done well to finally track him down for questioning, and it had been going well at first. He’d been open to talking, even answered some easy, low hanging questions. But then all Garrus had done was mention Saren’s name, and it was as if he had pulled a gun or something. Just the name alone had been enough to drain the color from the man’s face and send him running. Garrus had given chase, but to no avail. Yet another lead, gone. At least this one hadn’t ended up mysteriously dead… yet. This hadn’t been the only lead that evaporated the moment the Spectre was brought into it.
As he arrived at the C-Sec headquarters, he took a look at his omni-tool before cursing. It was late and he was out of time. He was going to be up late compiling all his notes and writing up his final report on the case. If he was lucky he might catch a quick nap in the break room before calling Executor Pallin to discuss his findings. Or lack thereof. He was not looking forward to the embarrassment, but in retrospect, he had probably never been expected to find anything in the first place.
He’d been excited and enthusiastic the moment the case to investigate Spectre Saren Arterius had come across his desk. But when he was told he would only have a week for his investigation, his jaw had hit the floor. It was very unusual to have such a hard deadline on an investigation like this, but he took it anyway. The Spectre’s name had come up in other investigations of his during the past few years, but it only ever ended in more questions or suspicious incidents. Never any proof, nothing that could be used against him.
Looking back, the entire investigation had probably been a token effort on the Council's part to appease the humans after the incident on Eden Prime. The report regarding the incident, written up by the commanding officer of the team on the ground during the attack, Commander John Shepard, had been included in the files he had received almost exactly one week ago. Or rather, the files he had received really had not included much other than the report; he had been given very little to go on. He had read the report over and over, combing through it looking for anything that he could use. He had managed to use a few of his contacts to rustle up a few leads, but all for nothing, apparently. A handful of very suspicious incidents, disappearances, and petrified informants.
Even though Garrus had nothing that could be used against Saren, he was absolutely positive that each of those incidents was a thread that would have eventually led back to the Spectre. Arriving at his desk, he sat down with a grunt and prepared to compile his notes, for whatever good it would do.
Morning came all too soon, and with it came his disappointing call with his boss. After a few terse replies, Pallin thanked him for his time and informed him that his investigation was now closed. Growling, Garrus tried to ask for more time to follow other possible leads, but had immediately been shot down. He had then been promptly hung up on.
Cursing, he quickly made his way to the Citadel tower. Maybe he could head off the Executor before the Council’s hearing with the humans and try to talk some sense into him. He had managed a few hours of rest the night before, but it clearly hadn’t been enough to help the throbbing in the back of his head as he made his way up the stairs toward the Council’s chambers. The disinterest and finality in Pallin’s voice had just added fuel to his belief that he’d never been expected, or perhaps not even desired , to find anything after all.
“Vakarian. What are you doing here?” The darker plated head of C-Sec, Venari Pallin, called out as Garrus beelined for him.
“I’m positive that there is more to this case. I just need more time to make a few more inquiries. Last night I was almost able to get some information out of a-”
“No, the investigation is over for now until the Council decides otherwise. Thank you for your time and effort. Now, if you don’t mind…” The dismissal was clear, and did nothing but cause more indignation to well up in his chest.
“Saren’s hiding something! Give me more time. Stall them.”
“Stall the Council? Don’t be ridiculous! Your investigation is over , Garrus.” The finality of the statement was like a slap in the face. With an irritated flick of his mandibles, he turned away just in time to see a group of human soldiers ascending the steps toward him. The one leading was a tall, broadly built man with a buzzed head. His armor had a single red stripe running down his right arm and on his chest was the insignia “N7”. With a jerk, he realized that this must be the human Commander from the reports. Their eyes met, and Garrus nodded his head in greeting, turning toward the human team.
“Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren.”
“Come across anything I should know about?” The man’s voice was calm, leveled, and resonated with the sound of an experienced soldier, one used to command.
“Saren’s a Spectre. Most of his activities are classified. I couldn’t find anything solid.” He glanced away, the weedling worms of shame pricking at his ego. “But I know he’s up to something.” He glanced back, wanting to communicate the strength of his conviction. “Like you humans say, I feel it in my gut.” Shepard nodded, turning back to his team for a moment to answer one of their muttered questions, and Garrus took a moment to run his eyes over each of them. They were typically equipped for an Alliance team, and including Shepard, there were two men and two women. Two of them he probably couldn’t have picked out of a crowd, his ability to tell humans apart imperfect as it was, but the last one gave him a moment of pause.
Her fringe, or rather, her hair, was… red. He had seen human hair in a few odd colors before, and he knew that it could be dyed different colors. But it was fairly rare, at least here on the Citadel, and the few humans he had seen with colorful hair had been the complete opposite of an upstanding, no-nonsense Alliance marine. His eyes widened when he noticed that her armor, too, had the stripe and insignia of an N7.
Just then, something gained the attention of one of Shepard’s men.
“I think the Council’s ready for us, Commander.” They all seemed to tense slightly, preparing themselves.
“Good luck, Shepard. Maybe they’ll listen to you.” He tried to not sound petulant as he nodded his head by way of goodbye to the human commander. Shepard nodded back before proceeding to lead his team toward the council’s dais. After a few moments of internal debate, Garrus decided to follow at a distance, at least until he was close enough to listen in on the hearing. He might not get to continue his investigation, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested. Stopping below one of the blossoming trees, he was far enough away not to be conspicuous, but close enough to hear.
Very quickly, it became apparent that it was going nowhere. Without any evidence, the human’s argument didn’t have a leg to stand on. Listening as the commander and Saren exchanged verbal jabs, Garrus felt any hope he’d had in the situation dwindle. The only bit that surprised him was the mention of Shepard’s Spectre candidacy. Had they been scouting him as a possible Spectre? After reading the reports from Eden Prime, he wasn’t surprised. The man was clearly incredibly effective in the field.
Sighing, Garrus turned and made his way to the public transport console. There wasn’t any point in sticking around now. Glancing back for a moment, he caught a glimpse of where Shepard’s team were milling about, waiting for the end of the hearing. He watched as two slim, human fingers reached up to tuck a lock of red hair behind an ear. Ripping his eyes away after a moment, he put in the coordinates for his desired destination.
Garrus’ feet felt heavy as he made his way through the halls toward his desk again. He was exhausted already, and it wasn’t even lunch time yet. He wasn’t just tired, he was frustrated as hell. He had felt helpless many times during his tenure at C-Sec, but now he nearly felt choked by it. What was even the point of it all when the worst scum managed to get away nearly every time? He was really starting to regret letting his father talk him out of Spectre training. He would kill to be Shepard right now, he had no doubt that the humans weren’t giving up on getting Saren that easily.
Just as he reached his desk, his omni-tool buzzed, showing an incoming call. Looking at the name, his brow plates shot up. Doctor Chloe Michel. She was a contact of his, and often fed him useful information. She had been one of the people he had contacted at the start of his investigation into Saren, but she hadn’t been able to share anything useful… but then why…?
“Garrus Vakarian.” He answered tersely, trying to keep his exhaustion out of his voice.
“Hello, this is Dr. Michel. Is now an okay time to talk?”
“Yes, of course. How can I help you?”
“Well…” There was a pause before she continued hesitantly, “I just… I just saw a patient a day or two ago, and I think that you… Well, the last time you contacted me, you told me you were interested in Saren or the Geth, so I thought I should tell you about what she told me. But I wasn’t sure if this was really worth mentioning.” Garrus felt his exhaustion evaporate the moment she mentioned the Spectre’s name.
“Go on, I’m listening.”
“I’m not sure that talking about it on the phone is wise. Can you stop by the clinic? I’ll explain more when you get here.” His immediate response would have been to dash out of the room toward the transport console, but he held himself back. Technically, the investigation had been closed, he wasn’t authorized to be looking into the matter anymore…
“I’ll be right over.” Garrus hung up the call and holstered his sidearm before hurrying out of the room. But just as he rounded the corner, he nearly collided with someone.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going!” The older human spat, shoving him back.
“Get out of my way, Harkin. What are you even doing here, didn’t they suspend you?”
“You’d think that being suspended meant not having to waste my time around here anymore, but apparently I still have to show up for fucking hearings. Can you believe that?”
“Whatever, I have to get going.”
“Always in such a rush! Where, exactly, are you running off to this time? Off to save the world again?” Garrus felt his mandibles twitch in irritation at the mocking tone of the other man’s voice, but he fought to keep himself civil.
“I’m meeting a contact down in the wards at the clinic. Now if you don’t mind…” He trailed off as he slipped past the other man.
“You take this job way too seriously. You should be the one heading out for a drink, you need to relax! Or better yet, you need to get laid, blow off some steam every now and then. Ha!” Garrus rolled his eyes as he left the older man laughing in the hallway.
By the time he made it down to the clinic, his irritation was replaced by excitement again. He had a good feeling about this, and there was something about her tone of voice that told him that Dr. Michel had stumbled upon something important. But when he approached the front door, he paused, reaching for his sidearm.
The door was ajar, which was odd. Had it been hacked? Possibly. Slowly, he made his way closer, only to have his thoughts interrupted by a scream. Dr. Michel!
Quickly, he ducked through the door, staying low. He crouched behind a low wall, listening as the thugs threatened the human woman.
“I didn’t tell anyone. I swear!” She gasped, desperation making her voice ragged.
“That was smart, Doc. Now, if Garrus comes around, you stay smart. Keep your mouth shut or we’ll-” Just then, the door swished open and the thug grabbed the doctor, bringing his gun up to aim at the intruder. Readying himself, Garrus raised his gun and prepared to act.
A gunshot rang throughout the room, and Garrus’ eyes widened in alarm, his own pistol yet unfired. He whipped around, weapon drawn, to see the thug lurch sideways, a hole drilled neatly between his eyes. Dr. Michel screamed and jumped aside, and Garrus’ eyes flicked to the door as he kept his gun trained on the other men around the doctor.
In the doorway, red hair still settling after her abrupt entrance, stood the steel eyed N7 marine from Commander Shepard’s team with her pistol raised.
Chapter 3: Part 1: Chapter 2
Summary:
In which Garrus works with humans.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 2
The entire firefight was over after a minute, the thugs hadn’t stood a chance against highly trained military personnel. As Garrus caught his breath, events seemed to speed back up to the pace of reality around him. Before he could process anything, he was asking to join Shepard’s investigation.
“Welcome aboard, Garrus.” John Shepard’s voice seemed to resonate with friendly warmth as he extended his hand. Garrus found himself taking it immediately, any fears or concerns easily put to rest in the presence of the human commander. There was something about Shepard, you couldn’t help but trust him. He wasn’t particularly surprised given what he’d heard of him in the news after the events on Elysium a few years back. They called him a war hero, and he seemed to embody the ideal admirably.
“Thank you, Commander.” After a moment, he added, “You know, we aren’t the only ones going after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him out.”
“Yeah, we got some intel about him just before we started looking for you, I sent two of my men to go track him down.” Garrus blinked in surprise. Shepard seemed resourceful, so it wasn’t surprising that he already knew about Wrex, but the fact that he had been explicitly looking for Garrus was curious. He hadn’t been aware that he’d made an impression on the humans one way or another. Perhaps his opinionated views regarding Saren counted him as one of their few allies. That had to be it.
Before he knew it, they were wrapping things up in the clinic. He put in a call to C-Sec regarding Fist’s dead men, instructing Dr. Michel to head to their nearest office to insure her safety. Shepard was making a call, probably to check in regarding their next plan of action. The other human, the red headed sharpshooter who had saved Dr. Michel, was checking over the bodies for information and anything useful. He wasn’t quite sure what to think about her yet, particularly after watching her admonishment from Shepard following their dramatic entrance moments before.
-“What were you thinking, Lieutenant? You could have hit the hostage!” Shepard’s voice was hard and cutting, and the woman’s green gaze immediately lowered, her back stiffening.
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” Her voice was clipped and even, just toeing the line for a subordinate being reprimanded. Her eyes remained focused somewhere in the vicinity of his elbow as Shepard crossed his arms, but her face remained impassive; a poker face shielding her thoughts.
“I expect better from you . I don’t ever want to see brash behavior like that again, do I make myself clear?” Garrus couldn’t help but wonder at the level of disappointment he detected in Shepard’s voice, was this usual amongst human COs?
“Yes, sir.”
Shepard glanced down at the body of the man at his feet, the one his subordinate had shot to protect the doctor.
“But…” Shepard’s voice softened slightly as he grew quieter, “That’s damn fine marksmanship. Very clean.” The woman’s eyes flicked up to look at her commander, a small quirk to her lips.
“Thank you, sir.” -
“Okay, let’s move out. Sounds like Kaidan and Ashley managed to track down Wrex, he wants to meet me at Flux. Garrus, is that far from here?”
“No, not far at all. I’ll send you a nav point.” Garrus glanced away from the woman as the commander’s voice called out to him. Pulling up his omni-tool, he sent along the information as they turned to leave.
“Perfect, thank you. By the way, Garrus, this is Lieutenant Jane Shepard, infiltration and tech specialist.” Shepard gestured to the other human, who stepped closer for a moment to offer her hand. He shook it, but felt his mandibles flick in confusion as he glanced between the two of them. Perhaps it was a common name? She must have noticed, as she was quick to respond.
“And his sister. Nice to meet you, Vakarian.”
“Ah, I see. Nice shot back there. Couldn’t have done better myself.” This elicited a raised brow and a half smile from her, but before she could respond the commander started for the door, leaving the two of them to follow.
It wasn’t long before they found their way to the thumping, thrumming music of Flux. It was still early yet, so it wasn’t as loud and populated as it would be in a few hours, but there were definitely enough people around to make it a chore for Garrus to stick with his new human companions. By the bar, an awkward looking group stood waiting for them. The man raised his hand to usher them closer while the woman’s eyes never left the hulking, red armored krogan. The krogan, Wrex, on the other hand, didn’t seem to even notice them.
“You must be Wrex.” Shepard called out over the music and watched as the krogan finished off the rest of his drink. Wrex put it down, wiped his mouth with the back of one hand, and turned to face him.
“You must be Commander Shepard. I’ve heard a lot about you. Your little errand boy here told me you might have a business proposal regarding Fist, but I don’t deal with small fries.” Wrex shifted his weight, tucking his thumbs into his belt. The two humans Garrus hadn’t met yet seemed to bristle slightly, but remained quiet as Shepard crossed his arms.
“We’re going after Fist. Thought you might want to come along.”
“We’re both warriors, Shepard.” Wrex leaned in close, and Garrus saw out of the corner of his eye as Jane shifted next to him, and glanced down to see her hand resting on her sidearm. He felt himself tense, beginning to worry about the possible fallout. “Out of respect, I’ll give you fair warning. I’m going to kill Fist.” Even with the Krogan’s face right up in his, the commander remained calm and collected.
“Fist knows you’re coming.” Garrus cut in quickly, trying to defuse the situation. Wrex turned to look at him and narrowed his eyes. “We’ll have a better chance if we all work together.” Wrex glanced him up and down before returning to Shepard.
“Vakarian? Why do you have a C-Sec turian on your team, Shepard?” Wrex spat derisively, glaring at Garrus through the corner of his eyes.
“I’m not exactly working on the books at the moment. I’m teaming up with Shepard for my own reasons.” He had a quick moment of concern that his involvement might complicate things. Wrex seemed to consider this for a moment before shrugging and finally stepping back into his own space again.
“My people have a saying: Seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend.” Jane relaxed slightly, but her hand didn’t return to her side until the commander extended a hand out to the krogan with a smile.
“Glad to have you on the team, Wrex.” They shared a firm handshake and a smile. While Shepard had felt friendly and inviting, Wrex's had a sardonic twist.
“Let’s go. I hate to keep Fist waiting.”
After some discussion, it was decided that they would corner Fist in his office behind the bar, Chora’s Den. According to Wrex, Fist generally didn’t show up until the evening, but that was one of the only surefire ways to corner him. They killed a little time picking up some supplies up on the Presidium, then finally started making their way down. They had all been able to fit in the large elevator shuttling them toward the lower wards, but not with too much room to spare. Four humans, a turian, and a krogan made for a somewhat awkward ride.
“So…” Wrex drawled quietly, leaning back against the elevator door. On the other side of the cramped space, Ashley, Kaidan, and Shepard were muttering amongst themselves. Wrex peered down next to him where Jane stood between him and Garrus. They had all been introduced once Wrex had joined the team, but the general atmosphere was still somewhat like strange varren circling and sniffing, unsure of one another. Jane cocked her head and glanced back, lifting a hand to brush a few loose strands of hair out of her eyes. Garrus still marveled at the color of it as it drew the eye like nothing else in the room. Part of him wondered why she didn’t draw more attention as they made their way through the Citadel.
“Hm?” She questioned, prompting a small grunt from the krogan, snapping Garrus out of his reverie.
“So…” Wrex repeated, his voice still low, “Think you coulda pulled it off?” Garrus’ confusion must have been mirrored on her face, because after a heartbeat, Wrex added, “Think you coulda shot me, right there, in the middle of Flux?” She snorted lightly as she crossed her arms, her stance relaxed and yet radiating the kind of confidence that came only with experience.
“You weren’t stupid enough to warrant the trouble, not yet anyways.” She glanced away again, her eyes hooded and the corner of her lips curled upward.
“You got some nerve, pyjack.” The words held no actual heat or venom, indeed the krogan actually seemed amused.
“So long as you don’t fuck with the Commander, then I think we’re going to get along just fine, Wrex.” Garrus couldn’t help the nonplused smile from spreading across his own face as his mandibles fluttered slightly. Perhaps unflappability ran in the family, both Shepards seemed to have cornered the market on confidence.
“You really would have, wouldn’t you.” Wrex stated with a chuckle, “Not that your little pea shooter would have done much, but it certainly would have made things interesting. You’ve got quads, kid.”
It wasn’t long until their elevator arrived, and the commander led the group until they approached the bar. Immediately, Garrus knew something was wrong. The lights in the alley leading to the gentlemen's club were dimmed, not a soul in sight. At this time of day, there should be a pretty steady flow in and out, and the lack thereof had Garrus double checking his weapon.
“Looks like it’s shut down.” He muttered just loud enough to ensure Shepard could hear him, and he saw others begin to reach for their weapons, too.
“Something’s not right here.” Ashley said slowly as she checked her assault rifle. “This is where we were ambushed earlier this afternoon.” Garrus’ eyes widened at that, surprised to hear about yet another firefight these humans had gotten into. Trouble seemed to follow hot on Shepard’s heels. He hadn’t heard anything through C-Sec channels about any of that either, which was odd.
“Fist knows we’re coming.” Wrex grunted in a voice that must have been considered quiet for a krogan. Shepard, who was taking point, positioned himself next to the door, shotgun raised and ready. He signaled for everyone to take positions, and Garrus felt his heart rate start to quicken. Taking a calming breath, he steadied himself. He hadn’t seen quite as much action the past year since moving up from beat cop to investigations, but you know what they say: You can take the turian out of the military, but you can’t take the military out of the turian. He knew he was capable of whatever they were walking into, but he found himself wanting Shepard to see his capability, too. Odd, he thought, that he found himself desiring the good opinion of a man he’d just met. A human, at that.
The door opened, and all hell broke loose. Gun fire broke through the silence, and within seconds Shepard was charging forward into the room, protected by his biotic barrier as he let loose a storm of bullets. Immediately tossing the bartender across the room with his biotics, he drew the attention and fire from the mercs and thugs positioned throughout the room so that the rest of the team could enter and take positions. It was an amazing display to watch, and Garrus was starting to see how the commander had been able to hold the line on Elysium.
Before he knew it Garrus found himself sheltering behind an upturned table, taking aim at one of the thugs across the room. One, two, three shots, and three mercenaries dropped with a heavy crash before he ducked behind the table again. Waiting for his weapon to cool, he checked it before leaning around the table to take another shot.
“Very nice.” He nearly jumped as he returned to cover to find Jane Shepard crouching next to him, her back up against the same table, checking on her own heat sink.
“Thanks, but I’m only getting started.” He tried to keep the smugness out of his voice, but he couldn’t deny the exhilaration brought about by lining up and taking the perfect shot, watching your target drop. Peering over the top of the table, he lined up his next shot, but froze as he watched his target topple over before he could even take the shot. Next to him, he heard an amused chuckle.
“Going to have to be faster than that, Vakarian!” Jane taunted as she returned to cover, and Garrus grumbled good naturedly, unable to stop his own smile from forming.
“So, that’s how it is, huh?” For the next few minutes they took turns ducking out of cover to pick off another target or two, and it was hard to say who was the better shot. Suddenly, another mercenary ducked through the door decked in much better quality shielding tech. “Shit.” Garrus breathed as his first shot was batted away like a fly, barely making a fizzle.
“Hold on…” Jane trailed off, pulling up her omni-tool and quickly inputting a few commands. “Cover me.” Quickly, Garrus ducked out and laid down cover fire just as she, too, ducked out while pointing her omni-tool in the merc’s direction. Suddenly, the man cried out as his shields overloaded and died with an electric shock. Without needing any encouragement, Garrus quickly put a bullet between the man’s eyes.
Before they knew it, the last man fell, and Shepard gave the orders to regroup by the entrance to the back offices. As they made their way over to the commander, Jane looked up at him with an appraising look before returning to checking her heat sink.
“I’m impressed, Vakarian. Glad to have you aboard.” She said without stopping as she moved past him to say something to her brother. Garrus felt a bubble of pleasure at the compliment. Glancing around the bar, about two dozen thugs lay about in the wreckage. This strike team of Shepard’s was clearly an effective one, and it felt good to be useful, to be moving forward with this investigation. And it felt good to put these skills to use again.
“Well done, everyone. Glad to see you both can hold your own.” Shepard looked pointedly at Garrus and Wrex before continuing, “Very impressive work. Let’s keep moving.” They both nodded their acknowledgement, and Garrus felt the pride the words elicited.
What was going to happen after they found the proof they were after? When Saren was proven guilty and condemned as a traitor? Would the Alliance soldiers board their ship and fly off to track him down? Was he just going to go back to his desk and wait for the next case to be dropped in his lap? Somehow, he thought that would be very difficult after all of this.
Chapter 4: Part 1: Chapter 3
Summary:
In which Garrus gets a job.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 3
The fire fight at Chora’s Den, which eventually led to the discovery and rescue of the quarian Tali’Zorah nar Rayya, left Shepard’s entire group with an atmosphere of urgency and apprehension, but also with the taste of victory. They had rushed off to present the data to the human ambassador, Donnell Udina, and though he in turn presented it to the council immediately following their meeting, it wasn’t until the morning after that they were willing to hold a hearing.
While Garrus understood the need for rest and for the council to verify the authenticity of the data, he honestly spent a good amount of the remaining night laying in bed tossing and turning. He must have dozed off eventually, because his omni-tool buzzing with a message dragged him back to consciousness. An hour later, he was standing waiting for the commander as he spoke with the council once again. This time, however, he stood along with Shepard’s team off to the side as they watched the proceedings. To the surprise of nearly everyone, the hearing took an interesting turn after a few minutes of debate.
“Commander Shepard, step forward.” Tevos, the asari councilor, intoned, her voice carrying throughout the space. The entire room collectively sat forward, expectancy filling the air.
“Are they really going to go through with it?” Ashley asked in an incredulous whisper, causing the small group to look over at her.
“He is clearly the perfect candidate, why do you sound so amazed?” Garrus whispered back quickly, keeping his eyes on the events unfolding before them. It wasn’t everyday you got to witness history in the making. Today, the Citadel would receive its first human Spectre.
“Yeah, Shepard told us about why Nihlus was shadowing him, we knew this was a possibility.” Kaiden added soon after. Ashley glanced at them both in turn out of the corner of her eye, and after a moment she shrugged.
“I just figured that was a token gesture to keep us quiet. I didn’t think they actually had any intention of promoting a human . They don’t really seem to like us much.” Garrus frowned at the attitude in her voice, and wondered idly if she was one of those “Earth First” types. He supposed he wouldn’t be surprised, he’d run into plenty of that sort during his time on the Citadel so far. He’d had higher hopes for these humans he had been working alongside, but he supposed the Alliance must harbor plenty of soldiers with similar sentimentalities. Narrowing his eyes, Garrus opened his mouth to reply.
“Humanity hasn’t been on the Citadel long, they don’t have much reason to trust us yet.” Jane’s voice cut off the debate with decided surety, “But we’ll show them that we deserve this. The Commander will show them. I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more.” The pride was evident in her voice, though her face was blank as she gazed up at the council giving their speech. Wrex grunted in what Garrus could only assume was agreement, and Tali nodded her head. The other two humans looked at Jane for a moment before returning their attention to the council as well.
Soon, the council was stepping down from their podiums and the three human men still on the dais were talking quietly amongst themselves. Jane headed straight for them without hesitation, everyone else following behind her.
“Anderson, come with me.” Udina commanded as he turned to leave suddenly, “I’ll need your help to set this all up.” Without so much as acknowledging any of them, the man marched down the stairs and out of sight. Anderson offered Shepard one final handshake, before nodding his farewell to the team and leaving.
“Congratulations, Commander.” Jane held out her own hand to her brother, who took it with a smile before placing his other hand on her shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before the two parted. The others hurried forward to offer their congratulations as well, including Garrus and the other non-Alliance members.
“I expected your ambassador to be more grateful. He didn’t even say thank you.” Garrus added afterwards, walking next to Shepard as they followed the rest of the team down the stairs.
“What do you expect from politicians? ” Jane scoffed from just ahead of them, and Garrus couldn’t help but agree.Dealing with them was one of his least favorite parts of his job at C-Sec, and part of the reason why he’d worked to get reassigned off the Presidium when he’d first started out.
“So what’s your plan now? Where are you planning to go from here?” Garrus asked as they got down onto the landing, stopping just a little way away from the others standing in front of the public transit terminal. Was he just supposed to… Leave? Go back to work now? It seemed so anticlimactic, and he burned with envy that Shepard and his crew would be heading out to hunt down the rogue Spectre.
“Well, I’m supposed to meet with Udina and Anderson to go over the information the council is giving us pertaining to Saren, as well as the plans for getting me a ship and crew for the mission. Which is something I’d like to talk to you three about, actually.” Shepard paused, glancing over at Wrex and Tali before turning back to look at him directly. “I was very impressed with your work yesterday during the investigation. I’m going to need a well rounded team for this mission, and I’m hoping I can convince you to join me.” Garrus felt his mouth fall open slightly, his eyes widening slightly in surprise.
“I- That is…” Garrus stumbled over his words in his shock, trying not to get his hopes up as a million roadblocks seemed to spring up in his mind, “Wouldn’t that be a bit irregular for an Alliance crew, having a turian on your team?” Shepard shrugged, a smile tugging his lips.
“I’m a Spectre now, I’m not sure what they think matters as much anymore. I’ll have to check with Udina and Anderson of course, and I know I’m asking a lot of you to quit your job and run off with us. But I hope you will consider my offer, we could really use a man with your skills.”
“It would be an honor to join your crew, Commander. Thank you very much for the opportunity.” Garrus’ subvocals trilled with his pleasure and excitement like a kid presented with candy, and the only thing keeping him from being completely embarrassed was that most humans couldn’t understand them anyway. Shepard held out a hand to him and they shook again.
“Then, once again, welcome aboard Garrus. I’ll need to check with Udina regarding the funding being allocated for our mission, but I should be able to ensure that you are compensated for your time. I don’t want you to suffer from the loss of a good paying job at C-Sec.” Garrus laughed, his excitement at the offer making everything seem lighter than it had in days.
“That is the last thing on my mind at the moment, but thank you. Are you going to be asking Wrex and Tali to join you as well?”
“Yeah, that’s the plan. Anyway, I can’t see the preparations taking less than 48 hours, what with the meetings and requisition orders that will need to happen before we can leave. Do you think you can be ready to ship out in that time?”
“Oh, definitely. C-Sec probably won’t be happy with such a sudden resignation, but they will deal with it. It won’t take me long to get packed.”
“Good. I’ll keep you posted as things develop and I’ll let you know as soon as we have a ship. After that, once I get the paperwork through, you can come get settled onboard. I really want to ship out as soon as possible, Saren already has enough of a head start on us.” Shepard’s voice grew grim at that last, and Garrus felt his elation dwindle in the light of the task ahead of them. It was important to keep reality in mind. The mission was an incredibly dangerous one, and their prey was just as much a predator as they were, if not more. Shepard clapped him on the shoulder before starting off toward the rest of the team who were chatting quietly nearby.
“Glad you’re joining us, Vakarian. Can always use another good shot.” Garrus turned to see Jane standing not far off, clearly having overheard their conversation.
“Happy to be of service.” He replied with a grin and they joined the others.
When he arrived at the docking bay Shepard directed him to the next day, he was amazed to see the sleek, new ship stationed there.
“The Normandy…” He mused as he read the name written in large letters plastered across its side. He’d heard some rumors about this new Alliance vessel since it’s arrival here on the Citadel, but he hadn’t expected it to be so small. Shrugging, he hefted his bag over his shoulder and made his way to the guard stationed by the airlock.
“Sir, this area is off limits to non Alliance personnel.”
“Garrus Vakarian, I was told to meet Commander Shepard here.”
“One moment, sir.” The marine looked down at his omni-tool, swiping through what must be a list of names. “Ah, yes. There you are. Welcome aboard, sir.” The marine stepped aside, letting him pass through to the airlock. It cycled the air, and he stepped forward onto the ship.
After a moment of wide eyed gawking, he forcibly shut his jaw with a click. If he didn’t know better, he’d say he was standing aboard the most bizarre turian frigate he’d ever seen, except that it was an Alliance ship. He was almost positive this was not how they typically laid out their CICs, and yet here it was. Very turian, and yet not quite.
“- and once you’ve done that, please go through this rations requisitions list and double check the numbers for me. Pass it along to Pressly when that’s finished, and he will submit it for approval. After that, I’ll need you to- Ah! Garrus!” John Shepard glanced up from where he stood talking with his sister, passing her a stack of data pads and waving him over. “Welcome to the Normandy.”
“Thank you, Commander. It’s a beautiful ship. Very…” Garrus gestured vaguely at the central design of the command console and galaxy map, “...turian.” He finished somewhat lamly, and Shepard nodded in agreement.
“It was a joint project between the turian Hierarchy and the Systems Alliance. Top of the line, nearly fresh off the press.” Garrus’ eyes lit with recognition, remembering a mention of the new stealth ship in the Eden Prime reports. “I can get you the specs later, but first let’s get you settled in.” Turning around, Shepard’s eyes alighted upon his sister. “Jane, would you mind showing Garrus down to the crew deck? Then we can get him and the others a tour once Wrex gets here.” Jane nodded slowly, but looked down at the data pads in her arms.
“Sure, but what would you like me to do with these?” She trailed off, holding them up.
“Ah, right. You know what, I can pass those directly off to Pressly, he can handle it. Sorry I’m throwing so much at you, you’re not even technically my XO.”
“It’s okay, I don’t mind. Happy to help.” They shared a smile between them as Shepard took the data pads back. Jane gave Garrus a friendly, casual salute as her eyes turned back to him. Neither she nor her brother were in their combat gear now, and even though she had been wearing light armor, he was surprised to see how much smaller she looked. Both of them, really. Humans seemed so vulnerable, it was really amazing.
“Good to see you, Vakarian. Ready to see your bunk?” He hefted up his bag and nodded before following her to a door leading down to the lower deck. She led him to a somewhat cramped room, though perhaps it seemed less so for someone shorter, like most of the humans.
“This is the barracks. You’ll be down here on the end. Is a bottom bunk okay? Shit, will you even fit? You’re a pretty big guy.” She looked him up and down, leaning back with a curious expression on her face that he couldn’t identify. Bending down to look over the bed, he decided it would do.
“It’ll be tight, but I think I’ll fit.” After a silent moment, she chuckled, raising an eyebrow. He replayed his words in his head before feeling his face grow hot. “Err, that is - I…” He floundered a bit before dropping his eyes to the ground, “You know what I meant.” He expelled in a rush as she chuckled again. “Anyway, I don’t suppose I have much of a choice?”
“Well, we’re putting in a request for a krogan size cot. Not sure where we’re going to put it, but we’ll find space. Should we order a turian sized one, too?”
“No, no this should be fine.”
“Okay. Well, you can unpack your clothing here,” She kicked open one of the drawers under the bed, “and you can put some personal effects here.” She pointed to a small shelf built into the wall at the end of the bed. “There’s some space here for armor,” She opened a cabinet between two of the bunks, “but you’ll also have a locker down in the cargo bay for combat equipment and weapons.”
“Perfect.” Garrus dropped his bag on the bed and looked around. It was tight, but comfortable enough, for a military ship.
“All set?”
“I think so. I’m just going to get unpacked, if that’s okay.”
“Of course. Unless you need anything else, I’ll head back upstairs. A million things to do, and no time to do them.” She gestured with a thumb over her shoulder before turning to leave. “Come and find us when you’re done. Make yourself at home, Big Guy!”
Big Guy? He groaned, wondering if the nickname was going to stick. Unpacking didn’t take long, and just as he finished, the door whooshed open, revealing the quarian, Tali, as she stepped into the room.
“Oh! Garrus. Didn’t realize you’d arrived. I was just checking out the bathrooms. This is a really amazing ship, I can’t wait to see the drive core. Are you getting unpacked? This reminds me a bit of home, cramped quarters and not much personal space-” The younger quarian seemed to be babbling a little, wringing her hands slightly. Garrus figured she must be nervous, but hell, so was he, honestly. And as far as he knew, she hadn’t served on a military ship before, let alone one belonging to a different species. “- glad that I’m not the only dextro species onboard, I feel a little less guilty about having special dietary requirements, you know?”
“Yeah, definitely.” He took his chance to cut in, “Should we head back up to the upper deck? Let them know we’re all set?” She nodded, hands still fiddling as they headed toward the door. He followed her toward the stairs to the CIC, and took a moment to marvel at the dramatic shift his life had taken in the last few days. He was aboard a Spectre’s ship! He was going to be serving on a Spectre’s team, no longer bound by C-Sec’s red tape, no longer bound by their rules. He was on a critical, high risk mission, and he might actually be able to make a difference for once.
The door whooshed open, and they stepped out into the hustle and bustle of the CIC. Looking around, Garrus spotted Shepard and Jane, their heads together as they looked over a data pad together.
“- looks okay to me, so I’ll send it along, if that’s alright with you, Sir?” Jane held her hand out for the datapad the Commander was looking over.
“Yes, that seems to be in order. Double check the numbers on this order form, too, please.” He handed both of the datapads back to her, and she nodded.
“Yes, Sir.” She turned to leave, but he grabbed her shoulder, pulling her off to the side.
“Jane, you don’t have to call me ‘Sir’ all the time, it’s weird coming from you.” Shepard’s voice was quiet, gentler as he smiled down at her, but Jane shrugged her shoulders and she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear with her free hand. Garrus felt like perhaps he was eavesdropping a little, but stayed where he was, still unnoticed by the two humans. Tali, too, didn’t move.
“Exactly what would you prefer I call you?”
“You know I’m not a stickler for protocol, especially now that I don’t have to be. I prefer a more casual approach.”
“What, do you want me to just call you ‘Shepard’ like everyone else? Sorry, John, but I’ve been serving in the Alliance nearly as long as you, and after a decade, I’m used to being ‘Shepard’. Feels like I’m talking in the third person if I start calling you that.” Now she was smiling, too, in that sly, amused way that Garrus was starting to associate with her.
“Okay, okay, point taken. What about-”
“I’m not going to call you John in front of others. That’s just unprofessional, which I am not.” She stated bluntly, her face deadpanning now, her eyebrow still raised in that provocative manner. He leveled her an equally raised eyebrow and she smiled again. “Okay, I’m not that unprofessional.”
“That’s not what I was going to suggest.” Shepard put a hand on his hip, bringing up his other hand to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration with a sigh. “Okay, we’ll figure this out eventually.”
“Yes, Sir.” Now she was outright grinning, and Garrus couldn’t stop the chuckle that threatened to burst from his own chest at the exchange. He couldn’t help but wonder if all human ships were like this, quite unlike the strict discipline found on turian military ships. He could get used to this.
There was something he liked - or perhaps envied - about humans. They had a lot of oddities which he’d been slowly starting to acquaint himself with since he’d started at C-Sec, but they all had a certain freedom about them, an unapologetic individuality. He could understand why humans rubbed his dad the wrong way, along with most of the old, traditionalists of that generation of turians.
He was nervous about being the only turian, and yet he was starting to feel like it wasn’t going to be too hard to adapt. Upon noticing him and Tali nearby, the two Shepards turned to look at them, the taller one with a friendly and inviting smile, the shorter with inquisitive, amused eyes. Garrus was starting to think his time aboard the Normandy would be interesting and enlightening, indeed.
Chapter 5: Part 1: Chapter 4
Summary:
In which Garrus makes a friend.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 4
The SSV Normandy
With some small amount of pomp and circumstance, the Normandy left the Citadel ahead of Commander Shepard’s original projected schedule, staffed and supplied for wherever the mission might bring them. Garrus felt a little underfoot and it was hard to quiet the voice in the back of his head that sounded eerily like his father telling him that he’d made a huge mistake by jumping aboard this mission without thinking it through first.
The Alliance crew hurried about their duties without paying him much mind except to gawk a little as they passed him. Garrus did his best to ignore it, figuring some of them may not have spent much time around other species. It would probably get better with time. Just when he was about to go ask if there was something he could be helping with, John Shepard approached him.
“Settling in alright, Garrus?”
“Yes, of course. Your crew has been more than generous so far.”
“Good, good. As for your duties between missions, I had some thoughts but I wanted to run it by you, first. I took a look at your service record, it seems like you have some experience with weapons systems. How about you come down to the cargo bay with me?” Leaving without an answer, Shepard was the sort of man who expected people to obey without question. Which they clearly did, if the smooth running of this ship was any indicator. When they arrived in the cargo bay, Shepard led him toward the vehicle parked in one corner.
“This is the M35 Mako, I’m guessing you haven’t had much occasion to work on any Alliance infantry fighting vehicle models?”
“No, but I have experience with similar vehicles.”
“I figured as much. I was hoping you would agree to help the crew with its upkeep, repairs, and calibrations, particularly its weapons systems.” Garrus felt relief at the suggestion, knowing it to be well within his skill range. Tali had quickly stationed herself amongst the engineers soon after their tour of the drive core, and Wrex seemed content to help with the heavy lifting required to sort and organize the crates rushed aboard during their hurried departure.
“Absolutely, Commander. If you can have someone forward me the documentation, I’ll start looking through it immediately.”
“Perfect. The control console is right over here, it should provide access to all it’s systems. But tech is not my forte, so I’ll have Jane or Kaidan or one of the engineers come give you a better lowdown on it.”
“Sounds good. I’ll take a look at it in the meanwhile.” Turning to the console, he started getting himself acquainted with its display. Not long after, an engineer came out to start walking him through the important systems.
Throughout the rest of the day, people came and went through the cargo bay. Shepard did some rounds, checking in with everyone periodically, ensuring everything was running smoothly. Jane, too, came and went, albeit a bit more sporadically, her omni-tool out as she checked on systems. She spent a good deal of time at the weapons station where Ashley was checking over and tending to an assault rifle. The two didn’t seem to talk much, though that may have been due to Ashley’s preoccupation with keeping an eye on what he was doing. It seemed like half the time he looked up from his console, he caught her staring at him with narrowed, suspicious eyes. Sighing, he tried his best to ignore it. A majority of the crew seemed welcoming enough, or at least managed to ignore the difference in species.
The difference between him and the crew seemed, to Garrus, somewhat more pronounced as he lay in his bunk many hours later, completely awake. The wards of the Citadel didn’t keep a day-night cycle, but the Presidium did, mimicking a 20 hour day. Though many businesses on the wards kept their own schedule, some services like C-Sec based some of their scheduling and shifts on the Presidium day cycle. He’d been living and structuring his life around this 20 hour day for years now, including his sleep schedule.
Clearly the Alliance didn’t conform to a similarly short schedule, as his body told him it was time to get up and going, yet the barracks was still dark with the muffled sounds of sleeping bodies. With a quiet sigh, Garrus decided that he might as well start his day. Squeezing himself out of his bunk, he gathered up his clothing for the day and headed to the bathrooms to get washed and dressed.
Soon, he found himself standing alone in the mess, shuffling through one of the partially unpacked crates of dextro rations. Standing up, he glanced around the quiet room, wondering how many others were up and about at this hour. He knew there was a night crew manning the CIC as they traveled through space toward their destination, but this deck of the ship was deserted. After eating a silent breakfast of something that somewhat resembled reconstituted food, he decided he might as well head downstairs and get to work.
When the elevator door opened, at first he thought the cargo bay was as empty as the crew deck above, until he noticed the flaming red hair of Jane Shepard standing at the weapons station. She must have been listening to music through her ear pieces, as her head bobbed to the silent tune. He watched transfixed for a moment as her hair bounced with each small bob of her head, the strands separating and dancing to a tune all their own. She reached a hand up and tucked a lock behind an ear, and he wondered for a moment what it felt like. He knew from his C-Sec training that it was inappropriate to touch a human’s hair, as it was considered a fairly intimate action. But it didn’t stop him from wondering if it was as soft as it looked.
“Something I can help you with, Vakarian?” Her voice cut through his musings, nearly making him jump. Her attention never left whatever it was that she was tinkering with on the table in front of her, but she had stopped nodding to the music he couldn’t hear.
“Sorry, I was just surprised to see anyone at this hour.” He approached her shrugging his shoulders as she glanced at him with an inquisitive eye.
“I can’t usually sleep more than a few hours. The joys of insomnia.”
“Ah, I can understand that. Everyone who’s served has seen some things they wished they hadn’t.”
“Eh, some of it’s from before the military, too.” Jane’s shoulders squared a little, and not wanting to make her uncomfortable, Garrus decided to drop the topic. “What about you? I was under the impression that Palaven’s day cycles were a bit longer than Earth’s?”
“True. But it’s been a loooong time since I’ve lived on Palaven. The Citadel runs on a much shorter day cycle.”
“That makes sense.” Jane’s omni-tool sprang to life around her wrist as she ran a quick scan on what appeared to be a new mod.
“So, mind if I ask what you’re working on?” Garrus ventured, deciding it was probably a safe topic of conversation. Taking a good look at the shotgun, he realized that it was the one that Shepard had used while on the Citadel.
"My brother picked up this mod from a shop, I'm just getting it installed for him. It won't take long, but he's not quite as adept at technical things like this. It's not exactly Legos." That last word sounded odd to his ear, and after a moment, he realized it hadn't translated.
"Sorry, I don't think my translator caught that last word?" She looked up at him with a little shagrin in her face.
"They're just a super old school Earth toy, I used to pine for a set when I was little." Jane trailed off at that, fingers slowing for a moment as she seemed to drift on the memory. “Anyway, I know the Commander is up right now, too, but I think he’s catching up on paperwork. So, I figured I’d get this installed and functional for him in the meanwhile.” She turned back to her work, starting to put the gun back together.
“That’s nice of you. Sorry to hear he’s so swamped with paperwork that he’s up at this hour to deal with it all, though.” Garrus turned and started toward the Mako’s console, deciding to finally get to work, as well.
“No, I think he’s - well, I think he’s just got other things on his mind.” The large room was quiet enough, besides the normal background sounds of a ship in FTL travel, that her voice traveled well enough from across the space to continue the conversation.
“I see…” Garrus booted up the Mako’s systems, but after a moment, turned toward her a bit to add, “I imagine he has a lot to think about after what happened on Eden Prime.” This seemed to surprise the red haired woman, who turned full round to give him a penetrative stare.
“What makes you think that?” There was a hint of something careful in her voice, and not for the first time Garrus wished other species communicated with subvocals as well. Was it wariness? Protectiveness?
“I read the reports during my investigation. I know he had visions after his encounter with the prothean beacon. I figure that would be enough to give anyone nightmares.” He kept his voice and subvocals as even as he could, not wishing to give the human any reason to take offense. The last thing he needed was some sort of awkward cultural miscommunication to ruin what good standing he had thus far. She stared at him for a moment before her small crooked smile reappeared.
“You’re pretty astute. For a cop.” This time he did catch the meaning in her tone, and he felt himself relax at the return of the teasing tone from the day before. He smiled as he turned back to his work.
“Ex-cop, but thanks, I suppose.” Garrus drawled as his taloned fingers danced through the system’s UI. “Not a big fan of law enforcement, Lieutenant?” He added a drop teasing to his voice, enjoying the repartee he hadn’t expected to find on an Alliance vessel.
“I wouldn’t say that, exactly. Perhaps we just didn’t always see eye to eye when I was a kid.” Garrus couldn’t help his chuckle, thinking about his own butting of heads with his father growing up. And even during his time in C-Sec, for that matter. Their conversation stayed fairly light and companionable for the rest of the morning until the rest of the crew started appearing one by one for the start of their shifts.
As the days passed, it became their morning routine. Finding the cargo bay empty in the wee hours of the morning, he and Jane would chat and joke as they worked, he on the Mako and her on whatever project she currently had going. Garrus found he enjoyed having what he was starting to consider a friend on the mission. It helped him feel more at home and less alone as the only turian aboard. Whether it was debates about weapons, tech, or marksmanship, they never lacked for lively conversation and friendly banter.
He was also finding that most of the crew was starting to warm up to him slowly, as well as to Tali and Wrex. By his third day aboard the Normandy, he was receiving warm greetings from crew members when he sat down for meals. The crew generally ate in fits and bursts as their shifts allowed, but Shepard made a very concerted effort to eat at a regular time, encouraging his ground team to join him as often as possible. Garrus immediately saw the brilliance of it as they all started to get to know each other through the comradery of a shared meal.
Five days into their trip and he was starting to feel like they might actually be a team, not just disparate individuals along for the ride. He was getting to know bits about Kaidan’s biotic training, Ashley’s family, Tali’s Pilgrimage, even some of Wrex’s frankly outlandish and unbelievable stories of his time as a mercenary. He shared a little about some cases he’d worked on during his time in C-Sec, and both John and Jane Shepard shared some about their N level training, which varied in interesting and unexpected ways.
While Garrus was enjoying getting to know the crew, it was Shepard that he was most interested in. His service record was outstanding, and it was a no-brainer why he’d been humanity’s candidate for their first Spectre. Yet even more impressive than his record was the man himself, just not in the way that Garrus had expected. He’d been sure that Shepard’s newfound status as Spectre would mean that he would shrug off all the red tape not necessary for completing their mission. But Shepard clearly put a lot of stock in crossing all his ‘t’s and dotting all his ‘i’s, demonstrated by his filling out all the necessary reports for both the Alliance and the Council. However, it wasn’t just the letter of the law that the man strode to live by, but the spirit, too. He truly believed in what he practiced and preached, and appeared to live his life in the service of doing right by everyone and everything.
“-If getting the job done means endangering innocent people, then no. We get the job done right, not fast. Got it?” The Commander’s voice was calm but firm as he explained the flaws in Garrus’ views about the mission.
“I wasn’t trying to -” Garrus froze mid sentence, rethinking his response. His first instinct had been to defend himself like he had when his father had berated him over the Kishpaugh case. But for some reason, Shepard’s disappointment cut him to the bone in a way his father’s never had. “I understand, Commander.” He finished quickly, averting his eyes. He’d always thought his father’s reverence of the red tape and proper procedures made him naive, short-sighted, and less effective, but he knew this wasn’t the case with Shepard. Shepard got results, and according to his service record, he didn’t cut corners nor sacrifice his ideals in the process. And soon, he was going to get to see how Shepard operated first hand.
As they neared a full week aboard the Normandy, they arrived at their destination. Garrus was nervous and excited to see how they actually worked together as a cohesive unit. Standing behind the Commander as they arrived in orbit above the human colony of Therum, Garrus looked out the cockpit window at the reddish planet.
“The atmosphere should be safe, though you probably won’t be comfortable. A little hot for my tastes.” Joker read off some specs about the planet as Shepard leaned over the pilot’s chair to take a look himself.
Garrus rolled his shoulders, adjusting to the feel of wearing armor after a week without it. Besides him, Jane stood in her own lighter armor with her arms crossed, her brows knitted in concentration. Nearby, Ashley and Wrex also stood armored and ready to head down to the cargo bay. After a few more minutes discussing the planet below them with the pilot, Shepard turned to leave, beckoning the team to follow, and they all fell in with him.
“Okay, as I’m sure you remember from the mission briefing, somewhere down there is the Doctor Liara T’Soni, and we need to find her. You four will be joining me on the ground, Tali and Kaidan will be remaining here to provide support. Joker is picking up some strange readings near one of the mining facilities on the surface, and he is going to drop us nearby in the Mako. Any questions?” After a short back and forth, they arrived in the cargo bay to begin arming themselves and loading equipment into the Mako.
After ensuring he had the team’s location and life signs information synced to his visor, Garrus started pulling his weapons out of his locker. Checked them over, he affixed them to their proper positions on his armor’s maglocks. As he inspected his sniper rifle’s sights, he looked over to see Jane doing the same with her own similar weapon. To his surprise, she, too, had a visor affixed over one eye, data and targeting information scrolling. Looking up to see him watching her, she cocked her head to the side, the gleam of a challenge in her eyes.
“So, Big Guy. I know you fancy yourself something of a sharpshooter. How about a little wager?” Jane’s casual, offhand question caught him off guard, and with a small flick of the eyes he once again took in the N7 inscribed upon her armor. With a slight dryness in his mouth, he wondered idly if he wasn’t perhaps biting off more than he could chew afterall.
Chapter 6: Part 1: Chapter 5
Summary:
In which Garrus makes a bet.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 5
Therum
“Another one bites the dust.” Jane’s low voice carried through Garrus' com from where she had positioned herself a ways off from his location. He could almost hear her smirk, and he snorted. Ahead of him, a geth’s body dropped to the ground moments after it’s head exploded from the force of her shot.
The two of them were clearing any geth responding as the Commander, Ashley, and Wrex were searching for the gate controls to allow them to pass through with the Mako as they continued their search for Liara T’Soni.
“That one was easy, at least aim for a moving target next time.” Garrus shot back at her as he lined up his next shot. He could hear Ashley’s exasperated sigh as their back and forth continued, geth dropping where they stood.
"Oh my god, you two." Ashely finally broke over the com as they left the structure, gates now open. "We get it, you both have huge dicks. Can you stop waving them around for just a few minutes?" A crack rang out and the last geth fell before Jane stood from where she'd been crouching, holstering her sniper rifle. Even from where Garrus stood he could see her pleased expression.
"Okay, so long as we all acknowledge mine is the biggest." Came her response as she turned with a roll of her shoulder. This elicited a crow of laughter from Wrex, who was already making his way back to the Mako. Ashley turned and shared a labored look with Shepard before they followed the krogan. Garrus heard more than felt himself laugh, all the while trying to remember everything he’d ever been taught about human anatomy. He was at least 90% positive that human females didn’t have a penis. Okay, maaaybe 85%.
“Knock it off, guys. Focus.” Shepard’s admonishment cut the chatter instantly. As they all piled back into the armored vehicle, Shepard took the wheel and they found their seats. After a moment, Jane pulled out her omni-tool, and Garrus heard a quiet ping as a small, new display box popped up in his visor's field of vision.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 10]
[JS: 12]
Letting loose a good natured but put-upon sigh, Garrus decided to ignore it for the time being. The mission wasn't over yet, and there was still time to win their bet.
Hours later, they sat in chairs arranged around the Normandy’s com room. Across the room, their newcomer, Liara T’Soni, still looked a bit shell shocked after the events of their escape from the ruins. Garrus couldn’t blame her, it had been quite a fight followed by quite a flight. None of them had gotten out of it entirely unscathed, and he certainly felt the ache in his arm where he’d taken a particularly nasty hit. Looking over to his right, Jane sat back in her seat, her cheekbone adored with a quickly healing gash slathered in medi-gel. She looked over at him and winced as she tried to smile.
“How’s it feeling?” Garrus asked, keeping a reign on his concerned sub vocals.
“Better. I should count myself lucky, not everyone gets away from a fist fight with a krogan with so little damage.” He felt himself smile back at her, still marveling at her courage, standing up to a krogan’s charge. Or perhaps her foolhardiness, he wasn’t quite sure yet. After the krogan had charged her, she stood her own in the grapple for a few moments until the Commander had managed to toss him off her with a biotic throw.
“Are you worried it’s going to scar at all?” Kaidan asked, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees to join their conversation from Jane’s other side.
“Chakwas seems to think we got medi-gel on it quick enough that it will heal up fine with no scarring. Not that I’d mind either way, scars can be damn sexy. Isn’t that right, Wrex?” She looked past Garrus to where Wrex sat, a grin on her face and a playfulness in her eyes that Garrus couldn’t help but admire. There was something infectious about her confidence.
“Ha! This?” Wrex gestured to the scar bisecting his face, “This isn’t even the worst of it. The ones you can’t see are enough to make any krogan female’s toes curl.” While this got a few chuckles throughout the room, Garrus was surprised to hear the loudest laugh come from Ashley, who seemed just as surprised as he was to find herself laughing at the krogan’s witticism.
The jokes and banter were cut off as John Shepard entered the room, his presence enough to straighten every back in their seats. Everyone sobered immediately as he got right to business, beginning the debrief without further ado. As he got to the end of the mission recap, Joker interrupted over the coms.
“- The Normandy isn’t equipped to land in exploding volcanoes. They tend to fry our sensors and melt our hull. ” His voice was oozing sarcasm, and more than one pair of eyes in the room rolled. “Just for future reference.” He finished after a moment. The casual, sarcastic wit seemed to shock the asari, Liara. Garrus wondered how she was going to settle in, and if her stay would be of any duration. Based on his experiences with the Normandy’s crew thus far, a sense of humor seemed to be necessary.
Quickly, though, they brought the conversation around to the protheans, which seemed to be Liara’s area of expertise. As soon as they got around to the topic of Eden Prime and the beacon, Garrus heard a soft scraping from the chair beside his, and he looked over to see Jane tense, her fingers digging into leg, her attention centered squarely on her brother. Thinking back to their first early morning conversation and her protective tone regarding the Commander and the beacon, he thought he understood. She must be worried about him and what the beacon had stuck in his head, which seemed obvious in retrospect. They were siblings, it seemed only natural. He’d feel the same way if something had happened to Solana, he was sure.
“We can talk again once you’ve seen the doctor. The rest of you… dismissed!” Shepard’s dismissal pulled him out of his thoughts, and Garrus looked around as everyone else started to stand and leave. He started to follow but paused before heading through the door and turned to see if Jane was coming, only to see her step toward her brother.
“John,” She started in a low voice, and Garrus took a few steps toward the door to give them space. He could still hear her, though, as she continued. “What’s the plan now? Where are we heading?” Shepard crossed his arms, lowering his head as he contemplated the question.
“Well, we don’t have any other solid leads at the moment, but the last time I received a message from the council, they led me to believe that they might have new information for me soon. I’m about to have Joker patch me through to them, so hopefully we will know more soon.” They shared a look before Jane continued, her voice even quieter, softer.
“And how are you doing? Have the headaches lessened?” The corners of Shepard’s lips curled into a gentle smile as he reached up to ruffle the top of Jane’s head, mussing up her hair. She halfheartedly swatted his hand away, punching him lightly in the arm. “Stop that! I’m serious, I worry about you.”
“Don’t, I’m okay. Really. Go get some rest yourself. The ground team is off regular duty for the rest of the day to recuperate.” Jane nodded and was about to turn to leave when Shepard caught her arm gently, but firmly. His eyes grew more serious all of a sudden. “One more thing, I almost forgot.” His voice left behind the familiarity of her brother, instead picking up the cadences of Commander Shepard, her CO. “I get that you and Garrus are pals, but let’s tone down the friendly pissing contest over the open com next time, understand? Today was a little unprofessional.” Garrus turned quickly, making sure he was out of sight as shame and guilt flooded his face with heat.
“Sorry, John. It won’t happen again.” Jane’s voice was subdued, filled with genuine chagrin and remorse. As they parted, Garrus could hear Jane’s footsteps heading towards the door, and he hurried toward the stairs leading to the lower decks, not wanting to share in her discomfort should she discover they’d been overheard.
Later that evening found Garrus sitting around the mess hall table with a few other crew members currently off duty. They had been chatting, sharing stories and laughs, and Garrus imagined that Denorian beers would have fit into the scene nicely had it been something that was appropriate on an Alliance military vessel. He really wasn’t sure how humans dealt with the stress of missions like this, there seemed to be very few ways to blow off steam. But it was nice to chat like this - interesting, too. They’d managed to get onto the topic of the Elysium Blitz, with people throwing questions at Shepard left and right. He took it good naturedly enough, though Garrus thought he could see a slight tightening in the corners of his eyes that meant… what exactly? He didn’t seem angry, but perhaps a little exasperated. Like one would be with a child who meant well and yet seemed to make things more difficult.
“Okay, okay guys. I have some paperwork to finish up, so I’m going to turn in early. We’re heading to a nearby system to investigate a signal Joker picked up, so take the next few days to rest up, make sure you’re ready for whatever we find.” With that, the Commander stood up and made his way to his cabin, waving goodnight. There was a moment of silence as the door hissed shut before quiet chatter started up again.
“Oh man, I can’t even imagine how amazing that must have been to watch. I wonder if they will ever make a movie about the Blitz. I’d watch it!” The corporal next to him piped up with enthusiasm, belying his youth.
“I have no doubt they will. Probably in the works already.” Garrus supplied, feeding the kid’s imagination with a smile. “You’re… Jenkins, right?”
“Yes, sir! Corporal Jenkins, at your service. I’ve heard all about you, Vakarian. It’s super awesome to have a turian onboard, and an investigator at that!” Garrus raised a brow plate in amusement as the kid continued to gush his enthusiasm. “So… have you ever investigated a… murder?” Jenkin’s voice dropped as he looked around, apparently cautious or embarrassed, Garrus couldn’t say.
“Oh yeah, loads .” Garrus drawled, leaning back in his seat, wracking his brain for some of the more gruesome ones he’d been involved with. With that, he dove into the explanation of a few of them, and within minutes the kid’s eyes were wide, his mouth beginning to hang open slightly.
“Leave the poor corporal alone, Vakarian. I think you’ve scared him enough.” Garrus felt his eyes shoot toward the red haired sniper as she sat down in the recently vacated seat across the table from himself. In the hours since they’d sat in the com room, the cut across her cheek had already healed substantially, though it was starting to bruise spectacularly. Human skin was so odd.
“Lieutenant.” He couldn’t help the pleasure in his sub vocals as he greeted her, indeed he hadn’t even noticed them until the word was out of his mouth. Besides him, he heard an echo of his greeting from Jenkins. Jane nodded a greeting to the other man before her eyes focused on Garrus. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms and a somewhat smug smile found its way onto her face.
“So. I won our little bet. 20 kills to 18. Very close, but not close enough I’m afraid.”
“Well, the ruins caving in around us sort of put a damper on the fun.”
“Okay, well, I have a proposition for you.” Jane leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her odd five fingered hands interlacing before her. She let the words linger for a moment, waiting for him to bite.
“... And what might that be?” He refused to let her know exactly how interested he was, feigning casual curiosity as he reigned in his sub vocals. He crossed his ankles, leaning back.
“How about we extend our little game, and whoever accumulates the most kills before the next shore leave gets the other’s drinks.” Garrus felt his mandibles fall open in surprise at the proposition, but did his best to school his features. He smiled, trying to feign more confidence than he felt.
“You’re on.”
“Wonderful!” She grinned, slapping the table as she stood up. Looking down at him, she cocked her head to the side, her eyes hooded with an emotion he couldn’t read. She looked almost feral as her smile turned sly. “Just so you know, I prefer whisky, and not the cheap stuff. So I hope you have some credits stashed away.” With that, she spun to leave, her red locks swirling around her in the momentum of the move. She was gone before he could really even process that she’d been there at all.
“Heh, there’s a hell of a set of quads on that one. Careful, Vakarian, I bet she can drink you broke.” Wrex grunted from where he leaned against the wall nearby.
“Oh, man. She’s something else, isn’t she?” Garrus’ eyes snapped back to the man next to him in surprise at the dreamy quality to his voice. Jenkins sighed happily as he leaned his elbow on the table, watching as Jane turned the corner toward the elevator.
“Corporal!” A voice cracked from the other side of Jenkins, causing his head to whip around. “That’s no way to talk about a superior officer aboard this ship.” Kaidan snapped, his eyes glinting with disapproval.
“Yes, Sir. No Sir! Sorry, Sir! I wasn’t- I didn’t!” Jenkins flustered as he shot up to attention, nearly knocking his chair over in his haste. “I’m so sorry, it will never happen again, Sir.”
“Just get out of here, go find something useful to do.”
“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.” With that, Jenkins hurried out of the room. Suddenly, Garrus realized who Jenkins reminded him of. He’d had a coworker back at C-Sec, a human who had occasionally brought his pet, an animal the humans called a ‘dog’, to the office to visit. It had been a baby, a ‘ puppy’ , and it had been all big-footed awkwardness and floppy-eared enthusiasm. It had licked everything and everyone, getting underfoot and running off with someone's boot. Jenkins reminded him of a troublesome puppy who needed an occasional telling off.
"Poor kid looked about ready to soil himself." Garrus couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice as he looked over at the still irritated lieutenant.
"He just- I don’t know, she just deserves better than being talked about like that, ya know?” Garrus picked up his water bottle, raising it in toast to the other man’s words with a nod of his head.
"Tell me about it." The disgust was evident in Ashley's voice as she sat down with a tray of food. "If I had a credit for every time I had to deal with misogynistic bullshit, I'd be a rich woman." They chatted a bit about the different experiences of the sexes in their respective militaries until Garrus heard a soft voice interrupt.
"Do you mind if I sit there?" Tali stood behind the seat vacated earlier by Jenkins, and he gestured to her to help herself. She'd mostly kept to herself since their departure from the Citadel, only seeming to leave the drive core at meal time and to sleep. But slowly she seemed to be opening up, which was good to see. She did seem awfully young to be setting out on such a mission, so he couldn't blame her hesitence.
"How's it going, Tali?" Garrus inquired, hoping to help put her at ease. She seemed more relaxed around him, as one of the other non-human crew members and the only other dextro species.
"I'm doing alright, thanks. Sorry I missed the action down on the ground, glad you all made it out okay."
"Yeah, it was a bit of a close call. But I'm sure you'll get a chance to experience your fair share of life threatening missions soon enough." He was happy to hear her chuckle at that. She had a tube of nutrient paste with her, and soon they were all chatting amicably, the conversation turning to her work down in Engineering. It was truly remarkable how knowledgeable she was about ships and engines.
At first, Shepard's team had seemed like a ragtag group. But the more he got to know them all, the more he realized how remarkable each member of the team was. Shepard had an eye for talent. He wondered idly for a moment if that would apply to his own talents, too. Suddenly, he felt very humbled and grateful to have been recruited by the Commander.
Chapter 7: Part 1: Chapter 6
Summary:
In which Garrus gets an upsetting message.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 6
The SSV Normandy
A week or so later, Garrus made his way down to the cargo bay like usual in the morning, but Jane was nowhere to be found. Trying to crush down the surprising disappointment he felt, he arrived at the Mako's console. Suddenly, he heard a metallic clang echo out from under the vehicle. Slowly crouching down, Garrus saw Jane, tools in hand and a streak of grease across her cheek, wrestling with a panel on the Mako’s belly.
"Need a hand with anything?" He asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion. She looked up, her expression of focus fading as she recognized him. To his surprise, her hair was pulled back and gathered with an elastic at the back of her head. What was that called again? Something really silly. Horsetail? Ponytail. That was it. Her hair was in a short ponytail, barely long enough to stay. But it was enough to keep it out of her face, which had a few smudges for her trouble. She looked different. Not bad, but different. It was amazing how much hair affected how humans looked.
"Thought I heard the elevator going. Sorry I'm up in your space, but I don't have anything interesting to work on at the moment and saw that it was slated for maintenance today. Thought I'd give you a hand." She grabbed a rag and wiped her hands off before tucking it back in a pocket.
"Didn't realize you had experience with vehicles."
"Not much beyond basic care and maintenance, but certainly enough to help out with that."
"Well, I appreciate the help. Don't let me stop you." Garrus gestured for her to continue, and she laughed before leaning forward and resuming her work. Returning to his console, he was just booting it up as he heard a ping of an incoming message on his omni-tool. Pulling it up, he saw the awaiting message in his inbox and froze as he noticed the sender.
From: Vakarian, Castis
Garrus felt something in his gut clench as he realized what it must be. He'd sent his father a message when he'd resigned from C-Sec, but more than a week had passed and he still hadn't heard back. Until now, apparently. He knew it would be nothing good, though, particularly given the tone of their relationship the past few months. He took a deep breath before proceeding to open the message.
It didn’t start well, and with every line Garrus could feel his eyes narrowing, his mandibles pulling in tight, his blood rushing with anger. Without actually cursing him out, his father had managed to call into question his intelligence, sanity, and honor. Garrus was, apparently, impatient, rash, and an embarrassment. Without bothering to respond, he deleted the message with an angry hiss.
“Something the matter?” A muffled voice from under the Mako called out, and Jane shifted to the side to peer up at him with a quirked eyebrow. Taking a moment to collect himself, he could still feel the blood thumping under his plates.
“No, it’s nothing.” He shifted away, not wanting her to see him so irate and upset. Looking back at the Mako’s controls, he decided a few hours fighting with the clunky system would help distract him from the hurt and anger thrumming through him. After a few moments, Jane made her way out from under the Mako and came to stand nearby.
“Well, you’re glaring a hole through the screen in front of you, so I’m going to hazard a guess that something is wrong. Out with it, Big Guy.” Shifting his glare to her, he huffed as he fought the urge to snap at her.
“Okay, I just got a message from my father. He had some choice words over what a disappointment I am. I don’t really want to talk about it.” Her eyes widened as she seemed to consider his words. Hoping that he’d fed her enough, he looked back at the console.
“Sorry to hear that, that’s rough. Did he explain why?” Rolling his eyes, Garrus crossed his arms, looking away.
“Oh, it’s nothing new. He and I haven’t seen eye to eye for ages, and me leaving C-Sec just seems to have been the nail on the coffin for us.” He glanced back to see real concern cross her face.
“Isn’t he happy that you’re on the mission to stop Saren?”
“I don’t think he’s going to be happy no matter what I do.”
“Ah.” Jane’s lips bent down in a thoughtful frown. “I’m sorry you don’t get along with your father. Family’s important, I hope you’re able to reconcile with him someday.”
“ Look , I’m reeeally not in the mood to be lectured at right now about my relationship with my father.” Garrus snapped angrily, but instantly regretted his loss of control as he watched her eyes widen in surprise. Quickly, though, they narrowed with irritation of her own.
“Not all of us even have fathers we get to reconcile with anymore.” She spat back at him, her voice low and cool. He felt the heat of his anger grow cool with guilt as he processed her words. Fuck, now he was that guy.
“I’m- I’m sorry. That was rude of me, I’m just upset over the message. I didn’t mean to take it out on you.” Garrus took a deep breath, trying to sort through his emotions. “And I’m sorry for your loss.” Jane’s expression softened and she shrugged.
“No worries, I don’t really remember him, honestly. And it’s okay, I understand. We’ve all got a lot on our plates right now, throwing family bullshit into the mix doesn’t help any.” They stood there for a moment in companionable silence before she crossed her arms, shifting her weight to one side with a smile. “I had a thought though. How about a spar?”
“Sparring? Here? Now? Is that something you typically do on Alliance ships?” Garrus felt his mandibles drop open in surprise, his eyes going wide.
“No, not typically, unless it’s one of the larger ones with a gym. But it’s not unheard of. Isn’t that a normal way to blow off steam in the turian military?”
“Well, yes, but are you sure?” And how did she know that?
“Yeah, you look tense and like you need a good thrashing.” She paused, her smile growing wider as her eyes narrowed, “Unless you’re a louza?”
“I didn’t think humans knew much about Palaven’s poultry, but those are fighting words.” Garrus grinned, “Okay, sure. You’re on.” He followed her to the center of the cargo bay and watched in surprise as she untucked her alliance issued shirt and tugged it over her head. She turned around, tossing the shirt over her shoulder, revealing the black tank top she had underneath. The front of it had a red stripe running down one side, the N7 insignia stitched upon the other. It suddenly occurred to him that he was about to face off against a highly trained Alliance special ops marine, and he felt his mandibles twitch with nerves.
They both started a few light stretches and warm up exercises, and he tried to remind himself that he was a hand to hand specialist. He, too, had quite a bit of training and he could hold his own. Thank god he wasn’t wearing his armor, though, because the more he watched her move, the more he was starting to believe he was going to need every bit of speed and flexibility he could get. Even though she usually wore lighter armor during missions, she seemed so much smaller in nothing but her tank top, Alliance fatigue pants, and combat boots.
As they turned to face one another, Garrus tried to stand at his full height, looking down at the small human woman before him. He knew that turians looked every bit the apex predators that they were, unlike the larged eyed, soft skinned humans. Seeing not even the slightest hint of a flinch on her face, Garrus realized mind games weren’t going to work here. As she fell into a defensive stance, her smile growing more confident and relaxed, he was starting to wonder if perhaps she was the one playing mind games.
They started out slowly, exchanging a series of jabs and punches easily blocked. Jane’s stance and technique matched up pretty perfectly with what he remembered from his training courses about hand to hand combat with humans, so he started to feel more confident as they continued. She seemed to remain mostly on the defensive, though, more reacting to his attacks than initiating her own. As she ducked one of his jabs, dancing away before he could follow it up, he grinned at her.
“What’s that human phrase, you have so many good ones… Ah yes, you seem to be “all bark and no bite”, Lieutenant.” He taunted, putting his own fists back up on defense as he circled her. She snorted her amusement as she brushed a few loose hairs out of her eyes.
“Can’t show you all my cards immediately. But if you’re feeling confident, then let’s get started.” The laid back tone to her voice brought to mind the image of a hunter playing with it’s prey, and Garrus felt himself tense. Suddenly, she darted forward, unleashing a flurry of strikes he could barely keep up with. Before he knew it, he was doubling over as her elbow made contact with the softer flesh of his waist. She lept away, giving him time to recover before continuing.
Determined not to be completely shown up, he began pulling out all the stops, managing a few hits here and there, though none quite as solid or well aimed as hers. He was happy for the challenge she presented, though, even if it was humbling for his pride. He could feel the tension leaving his bones as they continued exchanging blow after blow, his smile becoming more natural as his breath became more ragged.
Knowing he was nearing the end of his stamina for a causal sparring match, Garrus decided on a final charge, leaning into the attack with everything he could. Suddenly, Jane’s stance changed completely, going from a traditional boxing defense to something completely different which he’d never seen. She seemed to flow around his attack, almost melting as he came at her. The next thing he knew, he felt her grab hold of him and he was flying through the air, his stomach landing hard on the floor. He felt his arm tugged behind his back as her weight came to rest on his back, pinning him. Cheers erupted around the room, and with a groan, Garrus realized that they must have acquired an audience at some point.
“Not bad, Big Guy. I’ve fought far worse.” Jane’s voice was void of any smugness, mercifully, as she got off him and gave him a hand up. Wrex had been right about her competitive nature, but she had good sportsmanship, at least. She was clearly exceptional, and he had yet to see her lose. He was interested to see how she handled defeat, and as they shook hands, Garrus felt a surge of determination to better himself. Not just to beat her, but to have her see him as an equal.
“Ha! Nothing like seeing a tiny little human put a turian in his place!” Wrex laughed with an enthusiastic clap, and Garrus deflated a bit. Turning to face their small crowd, Jane adopted a laid back stance that he was coming to think of as so very her .
“Don’t worry Wrex, come on down tomorrow morning when I’m a little less sweaty and then I’ll kick your ass, too.” She turned to grab her shirt before heading to the elevator. “I’m going to go wash up a little before I get back to work. Good match, let’s do that again some time!” She waved in his direction before she left, and Garrus found he was looking forward to the challenge.
It was a few hours later that he realized with surprise that he hadn’t thought about the message from his father at all since their sparring match began.
They made a point to share a quick morning match every few days, but generally preferred to keep it early in the morning to avoid the chances of spectators as best they could. It was wonderful to have such an effective way to relieve stress and keep his body moving between ground missions. His system was starting to adapt to the longer day cycle, but rather than let himself sleep in until the same time the rest of the crew woke up, he made a point to set a vibration alarm on his omni-tool to allow him to continue waking up early.
He was also growing to really value the Commander’s daily rounds. He made a point to stop by and catch up with each of his crew members throughout the day, often dragging Garrus into interesting or thought provoking discussions. Shepard’s strong moral code and his strict adherence to it was a marvel to Garrus, particularly that he nonetheless was very quickly proving his effectiveness and dependability in the field. He’d always figured that worrying about casualties and details made one less able to complete their mission or do their job, but every ground mission he accompanied Shepard on proved him wrong. Between both the Shepard siblings, he was finding himself desiring to be a better and stronger person in a way he never had before.
About three weeks after their retrieval of Dr. T’Soni, Shepard announced that they were nearing the planet of Noveria in the Horse Head Nebula. It had taken some time, but the council had come through, having tracked Matriarch Benezia there. They were to prepare to head planetside in the morning.
That evening, Garrus entered the mess hall to find Liara sitting by herself, picking at her plate of food, but eating little. He was starting to respect the asari somewhat, from the little time he’d spent with her. She was clearly very intelligent and had a lot of information that could be useful for the mission. But there was part of him, a large part of him if he were honest with himself, that wasn’t sure they could trust her. However, she wanted to help and be a part of their crew, and Shepard seemed to trust her. He trusted Shepard, and thus he needed to find a way to extend his trust to Liara, as well. Grabbing a bottle of water, Garrus sat down across from her.
“A little late for dinner, isn’t it?” He asked mildly, noticing the drawn, worried expression on her face.
“What? Oh. Yes. I wasn’t able to eat earlier, but Dr. Chakwas asked me to try. So, here I am.” She muttered, looking up from her plate only long enough to confirm who he was.
“I see. Anything you feel like talking about?” He probed carefully, not sure how to set her at ease.
“I just-” She paused, steadying herself, “I just can’t believe that Benezia would be involved with Saren and the geth. It seems completely unlike her. I don’t understand.”
“The audio recording Tali found in the geth memory core was pretty damning.” Garrus pointed out as gently as he could. He realized that the woman was her mother, but the facts were the facts. She was going to have to reconcile with that one way or another.
“I know. I just don’t think I will be able to believe it until I hear it from her myself.” Liara took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders.
“Understandable. And you will probably get your chance when we land tomorrow.” He pointed out with a nod of his head. He was looking forward to the mission, it had been aggravating treading water as they waited for more information linked to Saren or the geth. They were finally moving forward again and he was eager to get back on the hunt. If only Noveria weren’t famous for being so damn cold.
Chapter 8: Part 1: Chapter 7
Summary:
In which Garrus is cold.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 7
Port Hanshan, Noveria
Noveria was cold, and for a moment, Garrus felt some regret that Wrex was the one staying behind this time and not him. The moment they stepped out of the airlock, he felt the cold breeze blowing and shivered. He generally wasn’t superstitious, but he couldn’t help having a bad feeling about this mission. When they entered the port facility, he quickly realized it was cold in another manner, as well.
After their nearly disastrous welcome by security, it was impossible to ignore the cold looks from just about every single person they passed. Except the hanar, perhaps. He never could read them. After they met with Administrator Anoleis, it was clear that they were fighting an uphill battle. He had all but laughed in their faces, despite the fact that Commander Shepard had remained civil and respectful.
“This place reeks of dirty money and backroom politics. Let’s just march back in there and wave a goddamn gun in his face.” Jane hissed at the Commander in a low whisper as they left his office. “We could take his security drones in like 2 seconds. Force him to give us access to the garage. He will change his tune real fast. You’re a goddamn Spectre, this is ridiculous.”
“Calm down, Jane. Being a Spectre is about more than using brute force to get what you need.” He replied with his customary calm, even voice.
“I’m with the LT on this, Skipper.” Ashley whispered from his other side. “Bastard is hiding something.”
“We can’t just force our way through with these types of guys. We need to find something he wants more than he wants to keep us here.” Kaidan mused as they rounded the corner toward the secretary’s desk. Garrus was contemplating throwing his support behind the two women when he was interrupted by the woman standing at the desk.
“Mr. Anoleis isn’t the only one with a pass to leave Hanshan.”
As they stood in the slow moving elevator up to the bar, Garrus couldn’t help but feel that for all it’s sparkle and shine, the whole facility felt dirty. Everything here was wrapped up in secrets and money.
“What if we just have Tali hack the door to the garage? Could you manage that?”
“Jane…” Shepard’s voice was cautionary, but Jane continued to look over at the younger quarian.
“Perhaps. But I’d have to take a closer look at their security system, which seemed fairly extensive, but there’s a large chance they would catch us before I could break through. I can almost guarantee we wouldn’t get away with it without raising an alarm eventually.” Tali murmured, wringing her hands.
“We’re not going to hack the doors. We’re going to talk to Lorik Qui’in and see if we can get him to give us his pass. Then we can make our way to the Peak 15 Facility without leaving a complete mess behind us.” Shepard stated with finality, and they were silent after that. The doors opened, and Shepard told them to take up positions around the bar, giving him space to question the turian without making him nervous. Garrus followed Jane to a table in the vicinity, and between the two of them, they managed to have a full view of the room.
“This whole place makes my skin itch.” Jane muttered, her lip curled as she glanced around at the people nearby.
“I know what you mean. I’ve heard nothing but sketchy things about what happens behind closed doors here. I’m guessing the worst of it never sees the light of day.” Garrus felt his mandibles pressing up close against his face, his displeasure mirrored on her face. After a few minutes, Shepard signaled for them all to follow him, and they left to make good on his promises to retrieve some evidence for the older turian.
The office in question wasn’t terribly far away, but Garrus felt his hands hesitate toward his weapons as he noticed how empty and silent the hallways had become. By the time they reached the office, no one was surprised when it came to a firefight. Jane took up a position behind a pillar, laying down cover fire for them to progress forward, and Garrus heard a quiet ping from his visor.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 39]
[JS: 45]
“Damn.” He muttered with a smile as he watched her 44 become 45 , knowing he was going to have to outperform her somehow if he was going to catch up.
Hours later, deep within the Peak 15 Research Facility, Garrus was starting to understand the severity of the fire with which they were playing in their hunt for Saren.
“Have you faced an asari commando unit before? Few humans have.” Matriarch Benezia crooned, her smile not reflected in her eyes.
“As if rachni, actual rachni , weren’t enough!” Ashley yelled as all dashed into cover to avoid the gunfire from the oncoming commandos. Biotic attacks exploded around them, colliding with a barrier Liara managed to erect in time. She followed it up with a warp attack directed at the nearest attacking commando, and Garrus aimed and fired his assault rifle, feeling little satisfaction as she fell only to be replaced by two more.
The chain of events that had led them to this showdown would have been unbelievable, had he not just lived it. Even after the political maneuvering that got them into the garage at Port Hanshan, they’d fought geth all the way over before eventually stumbling upon the research lab in shambles. Then they’d been attacked by rachni, which should have been extinct , and then after dealing with a ton of bullshit, here they were. Fighting an actual asari matriarch and her commandos.
“Geth incoming, 3 o’clock!” Kaidan yelled, and Garrus felt ice land in his stomach. How were they going to handle this onslaught and take down Benezia? They had to get some sort of information out of her, if they could, or everything they had done would have been for nothing. It all seemed like an impossible task.
“Split up. Kaidan, Ashley, Jane, Liara. Press forward against the commandos, try to put pressure on Benezia, stop her from doing whatever she’s trying to do. Garrus, Tali, with me. We’re going to take down those geth.” Shepard ordered hurriedly through their coms, already heading down the walkway through the oncoming geth troopers. As he and Tali hurried after him, Garrus readied his omni-tool, silently thanking Jane for giving him her handy shield overload program. Tali had a similar, if somewhat superior program, but it didn’t make quite enough sense to him to venture switching to it quite yet. When it came to tech, she was in a league of her own, and he had to admit that when facing down geth, Tali was one of the best people to have at your back.
Even so, they were barely holding back the attack bearing down on them. What felt like hours during the tearse exchange of fire between them and the geth, had in fact only been a few minutes. It felt more like hours. Or perhaps seconds. Time does weird things during a fight. He watched as Jane’s kill count number went up slowly, finding comfort in knowing that the other team was making progress. As they started pressing forward, inch by inch, his confidence started to grow as well. Taking a moment to glance across the large room, he could see where the other team was battling on the catwalks almost directly across from them. Between them, hanging in the middle - Garrus shuddered at the sight - was the rachni queen. If they could just press a little harder, they could clear out all her backup and they would be free to deal with Benezia however Shepard deemed best.
“Aaaaggh-!” Kaidan cried out suddenly, followed by a string of curses, and Garrus’ attention snapped back to the other group to see Kaidan on the ground behind a crate, clutching his at leg as blood welled up past his fingers.
“Kaidan! What happened? Someone, status!” Shepard yelled over the com, not taking his eyes off the geth sniper he was biotically pulling into the air ahead of him. A well aimed shot from Garrus removed it’s flashlight head.
“Alenko is down, shot in the leg. Applying medi-gel.” Ashley replied in a hurried voice, calm but urgent. Garrus took a moment to look back at the figures across the room, where he saw Ashley bending over the downed lieutenant, omni-tool out and working. “It’s pretty bad, I’m going to get him out of here.” Ashley grabbed him, slinging his arm around her shoulders as she hurried him back toward the corridor they had entered from, trying to find better cover. Jane and Liara were in the process of taking down the last commando, finally able to turn their attention toward the asari matriarch. A door opening behind him returned Garrus’ attention to his own fight, and revealed more geth pouring into the room.
“Garrus, Tali, can you handle them?” Shepard asked as he eyed the other group, his weapon still aimed at the last geth in his way.
“Yes, we can hold them here. Go do what you can for them.” Tali replied stoically, and Garrus agreed, taking aim at a new target. Shepard hurriedly took down his target and dashed along the catwalks toward the two women still fighting against Benezia. Suddenly, another door opened just behind the Commander, revealing another couple of commandos, and Garrus shot a few rounds at them to gain their attention and draw them off Shepard.
“When I get back from my Pilgrimage, no one is ever going to even believe any of this.” Tali muttered between shots, taking a moment to fry another geth’s shields.
“I was just thinking something similar earlier.” Garrus laughed, but was cut off as he heard Shepard’s voice coming through the coms. He seemed to be talking with Benezia, something about Saren and brainwashing. She seemed more lucid, though, and when he glanced over at them, they seemed to be conversing peacefully. He and Tali pushed forward, taking down a few more geth and commandos until he heard the matriarch scream out.
“Die!” She yelled, and Garrus looked over to see the glowing woman shoot a biotic attack directly at her daughter. In growing alarm, he watched as Jane shoved the stunned asari away, instead taking the brunt of the attack. Jane was pulled up into the air, trying and failing to gain purchase against the force holding her and slowly closing down around her neck.
“Jane!” Shepard screamed as he drew his weapon, but almost instantly he was enveloped in the matriarch’s stasis field, frozen where he stood. His face was a mask of horror as he watched his sister slowly choke. Garrus cursed, trying to duck out of cover to go help, but he was instantly pulled back by Tali as a rain of bullets barely missed his head. Liara stood panicking as she glanced between her mother and her struggling teammate, clearly unsure of what to do.
“-Fuck… you-!” Jane growled as her hand reached down and slowly grabbed her pistol. She carefully pulled it up, her aim shaking as it drew level. She fired once, twice, three times, but each shot failed to break Benezia’s barrier.
“This is not over. Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear.” Benezia’s voice resonated through the room clearly this time, and Garrus turned toward her, pulling out his sniper rifle. Taking aim, he cursed again as he realized there was no clear shot from where he was. Garrus felt his own panic rising as he took down another commando. As he heard Jane’s gasping breath over the com, he realized it’d been a long time since he’d felt this helpless. He was moments away from losing a teammate, a friend , and there was nothing he could do about it here. Turning back toward the last commando, he took aim and shot her directly between the eyes.
“Benezia, you can fight this! You’re stronger than this! Let her go!” Shepard hollered at the older asari, his eyes wide and darting between his sister and the woman killing her.
“Mother, please! Don’t do this!”
“Go, go!” Tali yelled at him, and he took off in the direction of the others. If he could just get around the corner, he could get a good line of sight. He could see Jane’s hand holding her pistol slowly start to sink, her cheeks starting to turn blue from lack of air. If he could just move a little faster-!
Suddenly, Liara seemed to make up her mind, pulling up her hand toward her mother. With a scream, she unleashed a biotic warp, shredding the other woman’s barrier. Instantly, Jane’s weapon shot back up and she fired one last bullet, miraculously landing in the matriarch’s chest. With a gasp, Jane dropped to the floor as Benezia collapsed. Garrus arrived at Jane’s side just after her brother, who’d been freed the moment Benezia fell.
“Jane, are you okay?” Shepard asked as Garrus rolled her over onto her back. Jane’s hand came up to her throat as she breathed hard, sucking air into her deprived lungs. With her other hand she pointed to where the two asari huddled nearby. Garrus looked up to see Liara cradling her mother who was quickly fading.
“Good night, Little Wing.” Benezia was muttering, the light starting to fade from her eyes, “I will see you again… with the dawn-”
“Mother! No, don’t leave me!” Liara was sobbing as she leaned her head down to rest upon her mother’s brow. Shepard took another look over his sister, searching for evidence that she was going to be okay.
“I’ll take care of her, can you go check on Liara?” Shepard murmured quietly, pulling up his omni-tool to apply medi-gel. Jane’s breathing seemed to come easier after a moment, and Garrus felt the tightness in his own chest start to loosen at the sight. “How does that feel? Any better?” She nodded after a moment, trying to swallow. “Good. Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner to help.” As Shepard slowly helped her sit up, her breathing starting to even out, Garrus slowly stood up and moved over to rest a hand on Liara’s heaving shoulder. Without hesitation, she whipped around and threw her arms around him as best she should with their armor in the way. Garrus froze, awkwardly patting her on the back as she attempted to stem the flow of tears.
Tali had arrived, having finished off the geth stragglers. She came to Jane’s other side, checking on her quietly so as not to disrupt Liara. After a few minutes, Garrus led Liara back to the group, Shepard and Tali both offering Jane a hand, getting her back on her feet.
“Liara. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to kill her.” Jane offered in a very scratchy, pained yet gentle voice, placing a hand on Liara’s shoulder. Clearly emboldened by the fact that she had not been shaken off, she continued. “I tried for a non lethal shot, but I couldn’t see straight at that point, it’s a miracle I landed a hit at all.”
“No, you did the right thing.” Liara’s sure words surprised Garrus, as well as others if the silence greeting her words was anything to go off. “She wouldn’t have wanted to continue living as Saren’s slave. Thank you for saving her from that misery.” Liara’s eyes started to well up again, and Jane’s hand on her shoulder gripped her comfortingly. Taking a bracing breath, Liara continued, but her voice was fainter. “I think- Well, I suspect that she was fighting his control in the end. She is so much more powerful than I. There’s no way my warp should have shattered her barrier like that. I don’t think she put much energy into maintaining it, not in the end. She let me destroy it, I’m almost positive. She fought as best she could right up to the end and I’m so proud of her. Thank you, Jane. Thank you for saving my mother.” With that, Liara burst into tears again, and Jane pulled her in for a gentle hug, rubbing her back.
“It’s going to be okay, Liara. We’re going to beat Saren, we will get him for what he did to her.” Jane murmured, and her words were met with agreement from everyone they all came to offer her their condolences and comfort. After a moment, Shepard turned to face the rachni queen. As he stepped closer, everyone quieted and waited for directions. Garrus felt apprehension starting to climb back into his chest as the possibilities started to pop into his brain.
“Tali, Liara, with me. Garrus, take Jane and find Ashley and Kaidan. Make sure they are okay, and bring them back here. I’m going to see what we can do about her.” Shepard gestured toward the tank with the rachni queen, and Garrus nodded. Jane let Liara go and looked around for her dropped pistol. He saw the bruising starting to creep up her neck, and he shuddered, wondering how long she would have lasted had Liara not stepped in. He allowed himself a moment to acknowledge the depth of his relief that she was okay before pushing thoughts to the back of his mind, moving forward with the mission.
Chapter 9: Part 1: Chapter 8
Summary:
In which Garrus is told a story.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 8
The SSV Normandy
A few days after the near disaster on Noveria, things were starting to settle back into the usual routine. Liara seemed to be perking up a little after a few days of despondency, Jane and Kaidan were both healing up just fine, and they were back to waiting until they got another lead on Saren. There was some talk of going back to the Citadel for a resupply, some information gathering, and a little shore leave, but no one was sure if or when that might happen. In the meanwhile, they were heading toward a nearby system where Shepard had promised to search for someone’s missing brother.
Garrus, though, was struggling a little to get back into his normal routine. For some reason, he was feeling somewhat unsettled, struggling to focus on work. He itched to get up and move around, and when he finally sat down and tried to get something done, he kept thinking back to Noveria and everything that happened there. What he needed was a good fight, but he didn’t want to ask Jane to spar until she was feeling 100% again. Suddenly, he was back on that catwalk, his boots clanking on the metal as he dashed toward her, her feet kicking and she struggled in vain to get purchase on the force holding her up by the neck-
Garrus shook his head and blinked, trying to return to the present. He stared up at the bottom of the Mako from where he was laying on his back between its two front tires, his tools arrayed around him at an easy distance. He took one deep, long inhale, held it, and slowly let it go again.
Just as he was about to pull up his omni-tool to start some music playing through his visor, he heard the elevator door open. Recognizing Jane's gait, he was about to call out a greeting, but stopped when he heard another set of steps, also easily recognizable. The Commander joined her as Jane came to stand at the weapon station across the open room, and as Garrus glanced up he could see they thought themselves alone. They always seemed more relaxed and at ease when they were alone together, and Garrus felt an odd little pang at that thought.
"I know something is bothering you." Jane's voice was still strained after the events on Noveria, but, regardless, it managed to carry through the room as she pulled a weapon mod out of a box on the desktop. After a moment of silence, she glanced up at her brother, who had his back to the Mako. "Is it the rachni queen? Honestly, that one’s still bothering me . I can’t believe you let her go.” John huffed through his nose, but didn’t respond. “John…” Jane finally prompted, a warning in her voice.”
“How is your neck feeling?” Shepard changed the topic, though the question was full of genuine concern.
“As fine as it can be, given the circumstances. Combat injuries are part of the job.” She seemed dismissive. “We’ve both dealt with worse, you know that. What is actually bothering you?” A few heartbeats later, he finally responded.
"I don't know, it's just everything that happened with Liara's mother, it’s sent me down memory lane a bit. It’s just lingering, you know what I mean?"
"Sort of." Her voice held very little conviction, and they shared a look. "What? I was six when she died, John. I barely remember Mom." Shepard sighed, and Jane ran a hand through her hair in a gesture Garrus was beginning to associate with when she felt uncomfortable or unsure.
Wait. Their mother had died when they were that young, and-
-No worries, I don’t really remember him, honestly.-
Had both their parents passed away that long ago? The Shepards had been… orphans ?
"I wish you could remember them like I do, really miss them." The sadness and wistfulness in Shepard's voice cut like a knife and Jane's sigh felt heavy as she returned her eyes to her work.
"I know. But I had you, so it worked out okay. That's more than many can say." Shepard’s hand came to rest atop her head, leaning his own down to bump gently against it. Jane remained like that for a moment before elbowing him in the side, causing John to groan and laugh. Garrus felt guilt churn his stomach as he viewed the intimate scene, knowing that none of this was something meant for him to see. But he couldn't look away as he got the chance to witness this rarely seen side of these two people he was growing to admire so much. “You get so touchy feely when you get emotional.” Jane teased in a familiar, sisterly way.
“Perhaps. But I’m glad you feel like I was enough. You deserved a better childhood.”
"John." Her tone was final, as though this was a discussion they had had many times in the past. "I owe you my life a hundred times over, as did half a dozen other kids on the street. We never would have survived without you. I'd say we were pretty lucky to have you." Garrus felt his confusion growing as she spoke, trying to piece together the clues she was dropping. There was no way his suspicions could be true, was it? Had John and Jane Shepard grown up alone on the streets of Earth? Burning with curiosity now, Garrus couldn't have stepped away if he'd wanted to.
"You know you are exaggerating.” Shepard laughed before continuing, “They would have been fine, one way or another. Plus, you're the reason we got our lives turned around, it would have been a lot harder to get out otherwise. So let's say we're both pretty lucky." Garrus blinked as he realized he’d never looked into Shepard’s pre-service history. A lot of that, particularly for Alliance officers, wasn't that hard to track down. The two Shepards shared a smile, though hers was a bit exasperated.
“Fine. But I’m sure we’d have gotten out from under the Reds one way or another, eventually. How about we call it even? Now, I’m sure you have plenty to do, Commander , so if you don’t mind letting me get to work?” Jane hefted the mod in her hands as emphasis and Shepard sighed in an exaggerated fashion.
“Yeah, yeah. Slave driver.” He chuckled and affectionately punched her shoulder. “You sure you’re feeling okay after what happened?”
“I’ll be fine, John. But thanks for worrying about me.” Jane reached up to punch his shoulder in return, but he danced out of reach just before she could connect, causing them both to laugh before he turned and left for the elevator. After a moment, Jane turned back to her work.
Realizing he was in a sticky situation, Garrus tried not to panic. Somehow he had to make his presence known without revealing that he’d overheard the entire exchange, which had clearly been private. Slowly, he started to push himself out from between the two front wheels without making a sound. Maybe if he could get behind the Mako, he could make it seem like he’d just left Engineering? Suddenly, the silence of the room was rent by a loud clattering, causing Jane’s head to snap around. Garrus felt his heart sink as he noticed the tool box beside him, now tipped over, the contents strewn across the floor around him.
As Jane put down her mod and started walking in his direction, Garrus’ brain hurriedly tried to come up with excuses for why he hadn’t made his presence obvious, but it went silent as she came to stand over him, her eyes narrowed.
“Need a hand with that, Officer? ”
“I- No, I think I’m good. Thanks.” He winced at the barb and tried his best not to stutter through his embarrassment, gathering up the tools and piling them back into the tool box.
“I’m assuming you’ve been here for some time.” It hadn’t been a question, so he didn’t answer. She sighed, crossing her arms, but her face relaxed a bit. Garrus stood up, dusting off his pants, and they stood there for an awkward moment before he decided just to dive right in. It seemed pointless to pretend ignorance, given the situation.
“I didn’t realize you and John were orphans.” Jane cocked an eyebrow in exasperation at his bluntness, and his hand rose to rub awkwardly at the back of his neck. He kept picking up strange human mannerisms the more time he spent around them. She stared at him for a moment before answering, her arms crossed.
“We don’t talk about it much. I’m sure you understand.” Her voice was thoroughly unamused.
“Ah. Well, then I won’t pry.” Garrus knew it was the right thing to say, but damn did he hate having to say it. His curiosity was eating him alive. Jane gave him a measuring look before shrugging and relaxing a little.
“No, it’s okay. I forced you to open up a bit about your dad not long ago, seems only fair to return the favor. But it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.”
“I guess it explains why you’re not the biggest fan of cops.” Garrus ventured, hoping a little humor might help lighten the mood. He was pleased to see her smile at that.
“They weren’t always gentle with a bunch of street rats, no.” Though a tad sardonic, the curl of her lips was enough that he felt brave enough to venture further.
“How did you end up on the streets when you were that young? How did you guys survive? Is that common on Earth?” He knew parts of Earth were pretty overpopulated still, even given their rigorous colonization efforts, but it seemed a grave oversight that children so young could end up fending for themselves on the streets. Such things were nearly unheard of on Palavan, clans always stepped in to care for their orphans.
With a sigh, Jane ran a hand through her hair again, and Garrus tried not to let the way the fingers parted the fiery red strands distract him.
“Full of questions, huh?” She sighed again before continuing, “After humans started settling other colonies, there were a few minor epidemics brought back to Earth, foreign microorganisms or whatever. For the most part, they weren’t major issues and were handled as they popped up. But some people, especially poor families, weren’t lucky enough to have much access to medical care.” Jane looked away, clearly uncomfortable talking about it. Garrus was about to change the topic when she continued, “John says our parents didn’t suffer long. We were lucky, we didn’t catch it, whatever it was.”
“But didn’t you have any other family that could take you in? Or some sort of government service to provide for you?”
“If we had extended family, we didn’t know them. Earth was still so overpopulated, and we lived in the slums of one of the biggest, most overpacked cities on the planet. The foster system was over taxed, we just sort of- I don’t know, fell through the cracks, I guess.” She shrugged, and Garrus realized she probably didn’t have too many memories from that young, anyway. “We ended up in a big communal home, but it was awful, apparently. Overrun with kids they couldn’t feed or dress properly. Then there was some sort of incident with one of the orderlies, and John says that he just took me and left. No one came looking for us. I don’t really remember any of that clearly.”
“I’m so sorry. How did you guys survive?”
“Kids on the street weren’t terribly uncommon, though they tried to sweep us under the rug as much as they could. Cops were bad news, but the biggest issue was the bigger kids.” Jane walked over to one of the crates nearby and sat down, her legs splayed to the sides. She leaned forward, her elbows on her knees, her hands interlaced to support her chin.
“The older kids were a threat? How?” Garrus felt himself getting sucked into the story, and he leaned his weight back against the Mako, crossing his arms.
“Put kids in a desperate enough situation and you’d be surprised at the depths they’d sink to, just like any other person. If you were caught alone, they’d take whatever you’d managed to scrounge up and you were lucky if you made it out with only a few scrapes and bruises. John managed to keep a small group of us younger kids together. There was safety in numbers. Got us into a soup kitchen regularly enough to keep us fed. Like I said before, I owe him my life.” Jane smiled, her eyes drifting back toward the elevator Shepard had left on a few minutes ago. Garrus felt himself smile, too.
“That sounds just like him. Always the leader, ever since he was a kid, apparently.” They were silent for a moment before Garrus remembered another thing they’d mentioned before. “So what did all of that have to do with the Reds? Aren’t they some small-time xenophobe gang on the Citadel?” To his surprise, Jane’s cheeks flushed pink and she sat up in surprise.
“You know about the Tenth Street Reds?” There was a hint of hesitancy in her words.
“Not much, but I know they’ve been trying to get a foothold on the Citadel and that they started out on Earth. They don’t like non-humans much, from what I hear.”
“Huh. Well, most of that is pretty new. When John and I ran with them, they were just some small-time street gang.” Garrus’s mouth dropped open, his mandibles going slack as his eye’s widened.
“You mean to tell me that you and Commander Shepard , the first human Spectre , were in a gang?” He couldn’t keep the incredulousness out of his voice, let alone his subvocals. After a moment, he chuckled, regaining his composure. “I mean, you, I guess I can believe that. You have a bit of a lone wolf bad girl vibe going,” Jane’s bark of laughter echoed in the room, “But Shepard? He’s so… he’s-” Garrus struggled for the word that seemed on the tip of his tongue.
“Such a boy scout?”
“Exactly! I just can’t see it.”
“Yeah, it definitely wasn’t ideal, it really chafed him the wrong way. He generally refused to be involved in anything too bad, stuck mostly to just internal stuff. He helped a lot with organization. He pissed a lot of people off with his virtues, but he was good at what he did, so they didn’t fight him on it too bad.”
“How did you guys even fall in with them in the first place?” Jane shrugged at his question.
“You do what you have to survive. People aren’t as gentle with teenagers as they are with little kids. The Reds offered protection, food, and a roof. Hard to pass that up when you’re desperate.” Garrus couldn’t argue with that, even with his lack of even remotely related experience.
“Okay, so how about you? What did you do for the Reds?” At that question, she looked distinctly uncomfortable. She didn’t answer at first, and Garrus was about to change to a different question when she finally opened her mouth.
“John thinks I was mostly a pick pocket, which isn’t exactly untrue. He worked pretty hard to pressure them into keeping both of us out of too much trouble.”
“But… I’m guessing he wasn’t exactly successful at that?”
“No, he was for the most part. But then he enlisted.” Once again, Garrus felt his eyes widen in surprise.
“What, he just left you?”
“Of course not! John isn’t like that. It’s a funny story, actually.” Jane’s smile returned, this time fond and reminiscent. “I picked the wrong pocket. I stuck my hand in War Hero Lieutenant David Anderson’s coat pocket and nearly got my fingers broken for the trouble.”
“Uh oh.”
“Yeah, except he let me go. And I guess there was something about a half starved little punk that tugged his heart strings. He bought me lunch, got me talking. He convinced me to introduce him to my brother and he told us he thought we should enlist. It would get us off the street and working toward a better future. I thought it was a great idea, but John refused. He was 18 at the time, I was only 16. He didn’t want to leave me alone, so he said he’d just wait the two years and we could enlist together.”
“Is that not what happened?”
“No, we talked it over with Anderson, who said he thought he might be able to pull some strings, get me in the foster system and placed with a family. Guess he knew a guy who knew a guy or something. Anyway, I convinced John that that would work and finally he enlisted.”
“So, you ended up with a family?” Garrus couldn’t help the raised brow plate and disbelieving subvocals.
“Yes, actually. Not that it did me a lot of good. It was some older couple, and the first night there, the guy snuck into my room and tried to fuck with me.” Jane sneered at the memory and Garrus suddenly felt sick.
“ What?! Tell me you broke his arm or something.”
“No, but only just. I made a deal with them. I refused to stay with them, but we kept up appearances. They got their monthly check, John wouldn’t worry about me, and I got the fuck out of there.”
“So… You ended up back with the Reds?”
“Bingo. Like I said, it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows, and without John there, the jobs got a little more brutal than picking pockets. I honestly don’t want to talk about it.” Garrus wasn’t sure how he felt upon learning this, but upon seeing the rising discomfort and a hint of melancholy on her face, he decided to reserve judgment. Like she’d said, it's amazing what people will do to survive.
“Fair enough. So, then you enlisted when you came of age?”
“On my 18th birthday. I was waiting outside the office the moment they opened that day. Best damn day of my life. But I made sure that sick old bastard got his due.” Jane laughed at that, though it had a bitter tinge. After a heartbeat, Garrus broke the silence.
“Sorry for making you talk about this.”
“No, it’s okay. I offered. We’re friends, aren’t we?” The bitterness left her smile as her eyes turned to him and he felt warmth in his chest at the words.
“Yeah, I suppose we are. That does mean you can call me Garrus, by the way.” He joked with a tilt of his head. He hadn’t really considered it till just now, but Jane didn’t seem to refer to many people by their first names, while Shepard seemed to almost exclusively use first names with his crew.
“Fine, but I reserve the right to call you Officer when you piss me off.” Jane’s smile widened as she winked, which caused a strange, fluttery little swoop in Garrus’ belly. “I suppose you should call me Jane, then. Seems like everyone else on this damn ship does.” Her smile became slightly strained as she sighed, rubbing the back of her neck.
“I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m starting to get used to it. I haven’t been called that by anyone but John in a long time, generally I’m the one being called Shepard. But everyone here seems reluctant to call me that, too, so I’m not surprised that everyone’s picked up on John’s usage of my first name.”
“Well, then, if you don’t mind, Jane it is.” They chatted for a little while longer, enjoying each other’s company before returning to work. They hadn’t had much time to talk since she’d gotten out of the med bay, and it was a relief to see she was making a good recovery. He was enjoying his rivalry and friendship with the human woman, and the mission would be a lot less manageable without her. He felt like, especially after their conversation today, they were really starting to get to know each other. Maybe later he would share a little about his childhood in return, not that it would make for nearly as entertaining a conversation.
He crawled back under the Mako, settling back into his work, which seemed to fly by. His chest seemed looser, like it was easier to breathe than before, and concentration came easily now. Flicking on his music, he hummed along to “ Fire in the Courtyard ” from the Fleet and Flotilla OST, his fingers feeling lighter than they had in days.
Notes:
I'm a fan of references to other series, books, movies, etc. Most, I think, are a little subtle, but this chapter has one that's probably a little blatant for any avid sci-fi book reader. Brownie points to anyone who figures it out! Or any of my other references through out the series, honestly.
Chapter 10: Part 1: Interlude
Summary:
In which Jane doles out advice.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Interlude
The MSV Fedele
As much as Jane loved space, she did not like firefights on spaceships. No good lines of sight, small, cramped rooms, any number of hidey holes, nooks, and crannies, usually all sorts of storage containers, to name a few of the issues. Nevermind the fact that one stray shot hitting the wrong piece of equipment could mean almost certain death. She didn’t mind infiltrating ships for stealth missions, as she could use many of those things to her advantage, but an all out assault? No thank you .
But that aside, their current mission was actually fairly interesting, or so she had thought at first. From what she had gathered, it was the ship of a geneticist that Garrus had tracked down on the Citadel who had been growing organs inside people to sell on the black market. It was rather gruesome and fascinating, and somehow Garrus had managed to track his ship down, and so here they were.
As they made their way through the packed cargo bay of the ship, however, she was painfully reminded of why this was not her favorite sort of place for a fight. Crazed experiments threw themselves at her and the others unaware as they turned corners in the passageways between stacks of crates, causing her heart to jump out of her chest.
By the time they made it up to the front of the ship, everyone’s nerves were on edge, but she could see that Garrus was the worst of all. He was gripping his weapon tightly and all but gnashing his teeth, clearly disgusted and frustrated by the proof of the scientist’s continued experiments. She couldn’t blame him, it truly was horrific, and she knew that part of him blamed himself for the madman having gotten away the first time.
“Hey.” She murmured, gently bumping her elbow against Garrus’ as the small group made their way down the hall toward the ship’s living quarters. He glanced down at her, and she took an exaggerated big breath, looking at him pointedly. His mandibles splayed out in the way they did when turians ‘smiled’ and he took a deep breath, visibly relaxing a tad as his eyes returned to the door John was just about to open.
Shifting her focus, she glanced at the reading on her visor, in particular a small set of data in the corner:
-Kill Count-
[GV: 57]
[JS: 61]
Smiling, Jane returned her focus to her surroundings. She’d set the program to only track kills when they were in a certain proximity to each other, which helped keep things fair. She was still in the lead, but he was slowly closing in on her. He was a fun rival, always keeping her on her toes and quick with witty banter. And he really was a good soldier and an even better sniper. John could have picked a whole lot worse.
“Thank you. Thank you for saving me from those things .” The high pitched voice of the salarian doctor called out as he came out of cover the moment he realized we weren’t one of his experiments. Jane couldn’t help the sneer that started on her face as Garrus confirmed the doctor’s identity. It was satisfying to see the salarian squirm and panic as he tried to convince them he was some “Doctor Heart”, but she trusted Garrus, as did John.
“There’s no escape this time, Doctor. I’d harvest your organs first, but we don’t have the time.” It was the venom in Garrus’ voice more than the actual words that made Jane’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. She glanced next to her to see his eyes alight with a fiery gleam, not unlike the predator his species was. It sent a shiver down her spine. His subvocals hinted at his fervent excitement for what was to come.
“You’re crazy .” The salarian’s eyes went wide, and he glanced between all of them as he took a step back. “He’s crazy.” His voice dripped with desperation as he begged them. “Please, don’t let him do this to me.” There was a pause as Garrus drew his weapon. Jane looked to her brother, wondering what was going on in his mind. If it had been up to her, she’d let Garrus pull the trigger as he so clearly wanted to. But it wasn’t up to her, it was ultimately John’s decision. She thought she knew what he would decide, and Garrus wasn’t going to like it.
“We’ll take him in. Drop him off with the military.” John’s voice reverberated with the finality of his decision, no space left for doubt. Regardless, Garrus jerked, his weapon lowering as he gaped at the Commander.
“But… We have him. We can’t let him get away. Not again?” Jane sighed as Garrus’ voice gave away his dismay and confusion. She knew he’d always regretted letting the geneticist get away, she could understand why he would be upset at the thought of letting it happen again. He’d told her dozens of stories of his time at C-Sec, but this was the one that really stuck with him. John’s voice was empathetic but firm as he explained.
“If he dies, we’ll never know what he’s been up to, or how he did it. We’ll take him in, interrogate him, and he’ll serve his time.” Garrus opened his mouth to argue before catching himself, his eyes wide and pleading.
“I’ve-! Okay , you’re right.” He took another deep breath, clenched his eyes shut for a moment before turning back to Saleon. The look the turian leveled on him was sharp enough to cut. “You’re a very lucky salarian.” He hissed in a low, deadly voice that sent another chill through Jane. “You owe the Commander your life.”
There was a heartbeat of silence before the doctor took a decidedly causal step backwards, and Jane felt herself grip her weapon instinctually. Something about Saleon was making her wary.
“Oh, thank you so very much.” He stated in a sarcastic stone before turning and dashing toward the back of the room. As Jane raised her pistol, she noticed the weapon on the desk that the doctor was running toward. As she trained her sights on Saleon’s back, she stopped herself just before pulling the trigger. She turned to glance at Garrus, seeing his weapon drawn as well, and made her decision. She ducked into cover next to John and waited instead, nodding to Garrus as he glanced at them. A moment later, he put a single bullet between the shoulder blades of the doctor as he wrapped his hand around the pistol on the desk. The room grew silent except for the thud of the body hitting the floor. Standing up, Jane hurried over to check for vitals, but wasn’t surprised to find him dead. It had been a very accurate killshot.
“And so he dies anyway.” Garrus stated, unmoving at his spot by the door. His face a blank mask, but his sub vocals a strange cacophony of irritation and satisfaction. “What was the point of that?” John walked over to him and put a hand on the turian’s shoulder, the pressure of the grip lost on the armor.
“You can’t predict how people will act, Garrus. But you can control how you will respond. In the end, that’s what really matters.” As Jane stood, she couldn’t help but smile at John’s words of wisdom. They were so like him, so virtuous and true. If they had come from anyone else, they would have sounded pompous. But coming from someone as honest and principled and so damn good as John, it sounded like nothing but the truth of the world.
“Yeah…” Jane could hear the consideration in Garrus’ voice as he thought about what her brother had said. After a moment, he continued, “I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you, Commander.”
Jane decided to give him a little while to cool off before seeking Garrus out. He’d clearly had a lot on his mind as they’d waited for the air to cycle through the airlock, and he hadn’t said much as they’d headed off to change and tend to their gear. But she was never one to let things fester, being a strong believer that getting shit out of your system was the best way to get past it. So after a little while, she took the elevator down to the cargo bay to find him glaring down at the Mako control console.
“Penny for your thoughts?” She stopped not too far off, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to the side, a half smile on her face. He looked up at her, a confused look on his face.
“A what?”
“It’s a human phrase, it’s just a way of asking what’s on your mind.” That drew out a small smile from him. She’d noticed that he seemed to enjoy human sayings and she couldn’t help but wonder what had started that.
“Ah, I’ll have to remember that one. I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, just replaying what happened earlier. Gave me a lot to think about.”
“Yeah, I figured. How do you feel about it all?”
“I’m not sure. My whole life, I’ve just wanted to help make the world a better place, and I thought that it was so important to do whatever had to be done to get the bad guys. But Shepard’s way of doing things, it throws everything I’ve ever believed on its head. It’s a lot to take in.”
“I know what you mean.” Garrus’ brow furrowed at that, causing her to smile. “He and I butt heads about it sometimes, but he’s usually right. If it makes you feel any better, if it had been me, I would have let you take the shot from the start.” His eyes shot open at that.
“Really?”
“Yeah. But then again, there’s a reason why he’s the one in charge, not me. He’s a good leader and a good person, I should try to emulate him more than I do. There’s a time and place for people like you and me and the way we prefer to do things. But when you can choose to do things the right way, you should.” At that, Garrus glanced away thoughtfully and sighed, though all the tight frustration seemed to have drained out of him.
“Yeah, I’m starting to think you may be right. I don’t know, it’s a lot to think about.” Jane smiled at that, opening her arms out wide in invitation.
“How about a bout of sparring, then? Get your mind off it? I know it’s not our usual time, but I’m game if you are.” Garrus looked at her surprised before chuckling as he rolled one shoulder, turning in her direction.
“Do you always deal with conflict and emotions by trying to punch them?” With that, Jane was the one laughing.
“Maybe! John probably won’t argue with you on that.” She laughed before continuing, “Whatever, Big Guy. You’re just sore that I’m going to win like usual.” She turned and started to walk toward the middle of the room, already starting to stretch by rolling one of her arms.
“Oh, it’s on.”
Chapter 11: Part 1: Chapter 9
Summary:
In which Garrus has a drink. Or Five.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 9
The Citadel
It was a weird feeling as the Normandy docked at the Citadel a few weeks after the events on Noveria. The Citadel had been his home for years prior to this mission, but the more at home Garrus felt on the Normandy, the less a desire he felt to return to the Citadel. As his feet hit the ground of the dock, he looked around and suddenly remembered how big the Citadel truly was. It suddenly felt alien and foreign, unfathomable and unknowable. Shaking his head, he knew he was being silly. It was his home, afterall.
As he looked around him, he watched as a small stream of Alliance crewmen and soldiers poured out of the Normandy, some with packs slung over a shoulder, most unencumbered. They had exactly 18 hours of shore leave before they had to report back, and most had plans of one sort or another.
“Do you have any plans, Garrus?” He turned to see Commander Shepard coming up behind him, and he shrugged at the question.
“Yeah, I’m going to be meeting up with a few friends from C-Sec for dinner and drinks this evening, catch up on what I’ve missed. You have a meeting, right?” A pained look crossed Shepard’s face for a moment, and he seemed ready to groan, had he been less professional.
“Yes, with Udina. He wanted to go over some information he’s received about possible geth attacks and sightings, might give us another place to look for information regarding Saren. We have to be over there in about an hour.” The Commander explained, rubbing the back of his neck in discomfort, and Garrus couldn’t help but smile at the gesture, so reminiscent of the man’s sister. Then, what he’d said caught Garrus’ attention.
“‘We’? Who else are you bringing?”
“I’ve roped Kaidan and Jane into coming along, partially for backup, mostly for emotional support.” They shared a laugh before sobering and parting with a friendly salute. As Garrus headed toward the elevators, he heard Shepard call out. “Don’t forget, drinks later tonight at Flux! The whole team is supposed to be there! Don’t party too hard with your pals that you forget!”
“Wouldn’t miss it!” Garrus called out as he stepped into the elevator. As he turned around, he caught a glimpse of Jane coming to stand beside her brother. With a smug smile, she tapped the air in front of her right eye where her visor usually sat. Smiling despite himself, he rolled his eyes and sighed in defeat as the elevator doors shut. He refocused his eyes slightly and flicked them to where a specific set of numbers resided in his visor’s display
-Kill Count-
[GV: 68]
[JS: 71]
He owed Jane some drinks, according to their little ongoing wager, and he had no doubt that she intended to collect tonight. He had no intention of disappointing her, she had been a formidable adversary and she deserved the reward. He had pushed himself hard to try and beat her, but she always seemed a step ahead of him. However, he felt like he was close to closing the gap, so maybe at their next shore leave she would be the one paying up.
He had plenty of time to kill without many specific plans until dinner, so he figured he should probably stop by his apartment to check on it first. Upon arriving, though, Garrus marveled at how it, too, had become foreign during the weeks since he’d left on the Normandy. He walked around the small flat for a few minutes, checking that everything was as it was left. It was a nice apartment, though small. Space was always at a premium on the Citadel, even on the wards. He wondered what Jane would think of it, particularly given her childhood on the streets.
Pausing, Garrus looked down at a holoframe displaying a photo of his mother, father, and sister from a few years back. Picking it up, he brushed off the light layer of dust that had built up on it. Should he visit his father before he left? He had plenty of time, but after that message he’d sent, Garrus wasn’t so sure. What were the chances that a visit wouldn’t end in an argument? Probably not great.
-Family’s important, I hope you’re able to reconcile with him someday.-
Jane’s concerned voice echoed through his head, and now received deeper meaning when he reflected upon the information she’d shared about her family, or lack thereof. Sighing, he put the picture down. Maybe today wasn’t the best day to see his father, but he would make an attempt to reconcile with him when the mission was over, at least.
An hour later, Garrus was strolling through a nearby shopping district killing time. He had a short list of things he wanted to pick up, for his general comfort and quality of life aboard the Normandy, but mostly he was just looking. Part of him was itching to get back to the Normandy and back on the hunt, but he knew he should try and enjoy his free time while he had it.
Stopping to glance through a shop window, Garrus’ eyes landed on a display for a specific omni-tool upgrade. Humming with pleasure, he immediately knew that Jane would be interested, and made a mental note to tell her about it when they all met up later. Checking the price, he winced. He didn’t know her budget, but he couldn’t imagine an Alliance Lieutenant made enough to make that price tag any less painful. He chuckled as he could almost hear her scoffing and complaining about the price, and wondered idly if she was the sort of person who attempted to haggle down prices.
As he continued on to the next shop, he wondered how the meeting had gone, or was it still in progress? Should he send one or both of them a message? He’d probably hear all about it soon enough. Spirits, he hoped they had a good lead for where to look next. He felt like they were getting close, if only they could make more sense of the visions Shepard kept suffering from. It was a pity Liara couldn’t help him more with those. Somehow, they had to get another lead on Saren, and soon. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if they didn’t. Suddenly, his attention was caught by a few mods in the next store window.
“Hmm, I wonder what her opinion would be on these…”
“Garrus? Hello? Earth to Vakarian, come in?”
“Huh? What?” Garrus’ attention snapped back to the three other men sitting around the table. They were waiting for their meal to arrive while they sipped at their drinks, but Garrus’ heart just wasn’t in it… whatever it was they were talking about. “Oh, sorry. Have a lot on my mind.” Honestly, he was wishing he could have sat in on that meeting along with Shepard, Kaidan, and Jane.
“We can see that.” Ridgefield pointed out as the other two laughed, and Garrus shrugged. “Your head has been somewhere else since you arrived. What, got a hot date after this?”
“No, nothing like that. It’s just the mission I’m on, it’s given me a lot to think about.” They sobered at that, giving each other meaningful looks before turning back to him. “What?”
“We’ve been wanting to ask.” Chellik started, oddly hesitant for the usually confident turian, “What is this mission you’ve been on? You’re serving on Commander Shepard’s ship right?”
“There’s been a lot of scuttlebutt, but the whole thing is still pretty hush hush.” Ridgefield’s voice was a little more subdued as he jumped in. The three glanced at each other before he continued. “But it’s not hard to guess, given what Pallin had you investigating before you left. Is Shepard really going after Saren?” Garrus hesitated, glancing between his three friends as they watched him expectantly.
“You know I can’t talk about it, not at this point anyway.”
“Ah, but your hesitation makes me think that that’s it, exactly.” Lamont smiled in triumph, leaning back in his chair.
“That’s not-”
“Hunting down a rogue Spectre! You must be loving it. You always did have a thing for the action.” Ridgefield laughed, taking a sip of his drink.
“I’m not going to talk about the mission, and I will not confirm nor deny what that mission may or may not be.” Garrus rolled his eyes, reaching for his own drink. He wasn’t even sure why he’d messaged these idiots that he was going to be in town, he shouldn’t have expected any different. They were all too nosy for their own good. But they were good friends, and it was good to see them, at the very least.
“Okay, okay. But at least tell us about the girls. I’ve always had a thing for a woman in uniform.” Lamont urged, laughing as Garrus nearly choked on his drink. Ridgefield leaned over and slapped him on the back, joining in.
“Yeah. I hear some of the smaller Alliance ships have unisex showers, you’ve probably seen all the ladies up close and personal!” Garrus tilted his head in confusion, his mandibles fluttering. He looked at Chellik, who just rolled his eyes and shrugged.
“Well, I don’t think I’m really a good authority, as I’m a turian. I don’t exactly have a human fetish, so I haven’t spent a whole lot of time checking out the human women on this dangerous, important mission. ” Garrus wondered idly if his childish curiosity about their hair counted as being interested in humans, but decided to keep that embarrassing tidbit to himself.
“Fine, fine. Point taken. You can be such a stick in the mud sometimes.” Ridgefield sighed with an affectionate punch to the shoulder.
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up.”
“Over here!” Garrus saw Ashley frantically waving at him from where she sat next to Wrex, who was still wearing his signature blood-red armour, making the waving superfluous. His eyes, however, locked in on his red headed friend as soon as he stepped foot in the bar. Flux was as energetic as usual, but Jane and the crew members that had shown up thus far stood out amongst the crowds. Making his way over, he nodded in greeting to the group.
Jane lounged comfortably on a couch, Tali perched beside her on one side, Kaidan somewhat stiffly sat on Jane’s other side. Wrex occupied half a couch nearby, leaning back comfortably with a vibrantly green drink equipped with a tiny umbrella. He was arguing good naturedly with Ashley, who’s cheeks were already flushed thanks to the mostly downed electric blue drink clutched in her fist. Joker chatted with Liara, who sat awkwardly on the edge of her chair, looking a bit as though she were unsure what to do with her hands. Other crew members from the Normandy sat at tables nearby, all drinking and chatting amicably.
“Saved a seat for you! Or maybe it was for John, I don’t know!” Jane gestured to a chair on the other side of Tali, and as he went to sit down, he noticed a couple of empty glasses on their table already.
“Started without me, huh?” He chuckled as he sat down and she grinned back at him, her face clearly a little flushed already.
“No worries, I opened a tab for you already.” She said with a flippant, vague wave of her hand before picking up her half finished glass, raising it in a salute to him.
“Great, so should I sell my apartment now, or wait till I see the bill?” Garrus joked, leaning back and crossing a leg over one knee. He still felt a bit buzzed from his dinner earlier, but a few more drinks certainly wouldn’t hurt.
It wasn’t that much longer until Shepard showed up, arriving to a cheerful cry from nearly all the Normandy crew. He smiled good naturedly at the warm welcome, though with more than a little amusement at the inebriated state of some of them. He glanced around for a spot to sit, and Jane patted the small bit of space between herself and Kaidan cheerfully.
“John! Pop a squat, have a drink! Not on me, though, I ain’t buying tonight!” She grinned in Garrus’ direction, her cheeks even redder now, and he noticed ruefully that she’d already been served another glass. Shepard eyed the spot, not nearly big enough for him, and raised an eyebrow.
“Here, you can have my spot.” Kaidan sighed, standing up, and before Shepard could protest, he’d already pulled up another chair. Once they were all situated and drinks had been served, Shepard finally started to relax. Garrus saw his shoulders loosen as he took a deep breath, nearly melting into the couch.
“Did the Council give you trouble?” Garrus asked, sipping at his own drink slowly, enjoying the burn.
“No, I just had a million errands to run and stops to make on my way. It’s been a crazy day.”
“I still can’t believe you didn’t punch that al-Jilani woman. Guess that’s why you’re the Spectre.” Jane poked him in the shoulder and Shepard shot her an affectionately irritated glare.
“Don’t remind me. It was hard enough being civil while she hung me out to dry on camera. God, what a mess.” He brought a hand up to rub his eyes in clear exhaustion.
“I thought you handled it really well, actually. You came across as very professional, while you made her look hostile and petty.” Kaidan chimed in, causing Shepard to smile in thanks, though it was unclear if he agreed.
“Thanks, glad you think so. We’ll see what happens when it airs.”
“What happened?” Garrus asked, curiosity peaked.
“Some super aggressive reporter cornered us before the meeting, threw all sorts of accusations at him.” Jane sniffed, lip curled in disgust as she swirled the contents of her amber drink.
“But didn’t you say earlier that she was human, too? Why would she attack you guys like that? Aren’t you on the same side?” Tali leaned over to ask, clutching her glass with a small pink straw sticking out of it.
“You clearly don’t understand humans yet, we treat each other nearly as badly as we treat others.” Jane glanced at her before her eyes landed on the other woman’s drink. “What is that, water? Why aren’t you drinking anything good? We need to get this girl a drink.”
“What? No, I’m okay, really! I don’t think I sho-” Jane wrapped an arm around the younger quarian’s shoulders, leaning into her. Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle. While Jane was a friendly person in general once you got to know her, she definitely kept her filters and barriers up to a certain extent. That was clearly not the case at the moment, and it was very entertaining.
“Nonsense! Or, wait… How old are you? Are you too young to drink by quarian laws? Jeez, I hadn’t even considered that.” Jane pulled up her omni-tool, stared at it blankly for a moment before taking a long sip from her drink. “How old are you, exactly?”
“Old enough!” Tali answered, clearly flustered now. “Okay, okay, but only one!”
“Good enough for me!” Jane cried triumphantly, summoning over a server enthusiastically.
The night continued on in a similar, relaxed manner, everyone enjoying their time without responsibilities and anxiety hanging over them. John got sucked into a conversation with Liara when she came over to talk to him more about the protheans. Kaidan got pulled into a conversation about the Normandy with Joker. Tali, now asleep, was snoring lightly, her head drooped over onto Jane’s shoulder. Jane, much less coherent than earlier, was going on about her childhood dream of having a pet, but in a befuddled manner that made it very difficult to follow. Or perhaps Garrus had had too many drinks, too?
“I dunno, like, maybe a fish or something? They’re so… majestic, swimming around. And so delicious. Fish is really good. I think maybe we should go get sushi, except that I don’t think you could eat that, huh Big Guy? Do you have fish? I mean, like, does Palaven have fish? I can’t remember seeing any, but I never went to the beach... Or what about, like, something small and furry? I mean as a pet. Aren’t they easy to not kill? Like, rodents and stuff? I’m pretty sure I’d kill it unless it was, like… suuuuuper easy to take care of.”
Garrus didn’t even have to answer at this point, as she just kept going on in a long monologue. Which was good, as he was starting to lose the train of her conversation as he found himself becoming preoccupied with her eyes. They were so green and so deep and so big! Humans had the biggest eyes… No, maybe salarians did, but theirs were weird. Hers were so bright and big and expressive. Though tonight their usual sharpness was replaced by a glassy look in no small part due to the drinks. He felt like if he leaned in a little closer, he might be able to see himself reflected in them-
“Vakarian!” Garrus’ head snapped up, looking around to see Ashley gesturing in his direction, the lack of focus in her eyes betraying her own intoxicated state.
“What?” His voice seemed too loud to his own ears.
“You need, I gotta- We have a question!” Ashley slurred, pointing vaguely in the direction of Wrex, who was sitting quite at his ease, a huge grin on his face. “You’re an alien, right?!” She all but yelled.
“Well, I mean, so are you. But yes, I suppose. In a manner of speaking.” Garrus drawled, trying to decide if he was amused, insulted, or just drunk.
“Okay, then you need to- I need an answer. Is he full of shit!?” She demanded loudly as she continued to point toward Wrex, and Garrus raised a brow plate in question. She was clearly three sheets to the wind, as Ridgefield always liked to say. Humans really did have a lot of odd sayings.
“Generally? Probably yes. But I think I need to know the question first?”
“Do krogan really have four balls?!” The question was asked so unnecessarily loudly, even given the music, that many sets of eyes at surrounding tables turned to glance their way with a myriad of expressions ranging from amused to disgusted. Wrex burst out laughing, slapping the table and nearly upsetting the empty glasses. Garrus’ face deadpanned as his mandibles snapped in close to his face in irritation.
“It’s not a good party unless someone exposes themselves in one way or another. Good job, Chief, thanks for taking one for the team!” Jane called out in their direction, raising her empty glass as she laid her head back on the couch sleepily.
“But
why
would they need
four
?! Isn’t that just, like… overkill?!” Ashley continued, turning back toward the laughing Wrex. “I think you’re full of
shit
, krogan.”
“Can we not talk about krogan testicles? Just for a little while?” Garrus groaned, trying to fight the smile from showing by downing the rest of his drink. At least it was never boring with this crew, that was for sure. Tomorrow morning was probably going to be a different sort of interesting, but that was Future Garrus’ problem.
Chapter 12: Part 1: Chapter 10
Summary:
In which Garrus accommodates and speculates.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 10
Garrus did not wake up with his early alarm the next morning. In fact, he was among the last to pry himself out of his bunk. Though, he had to note, a majority of the crew seemed worse for wear. 'Morning After Shore Leave' was a very real condition amongst soldiers across species, it would seem.
Honestly, he was just happy he'd made it back to his bunk. He and Jane had each thrown one of Tali's arms over their shoulders and hauled her back to the Normandy as she babbled at them in a drunken haze. He honestly didn’t remember much more than falling over themselves trying to get to their beds, and looking around, he was happy to see that he was, in fact, in his own bed. Groaning, he rolled out of bed to get washed up. They were scheduled to be leaving the Citadel any time now, and he figured he should probably be getting on with his usual morning duties.
The ship was mercifully quiet as Garrus handled his breakfast and made his way down to the cargo bay. He wasn’t particularly surprised to not see Jane there, as she’d been worse than he was last night. Though, now that he thought of it, he hadn’t seen her in her bunk this morning, either. Shrugging, he headed over to the Mako. His head felt tight and sore, and work was the last thing he wanted to do, but it wasn’t going to do itself. As he set the console to boot up, he bent down to pick up the nearby tool box. As he reached for it, the world seemed to spin and his stomach twisted unhappily. Stumbling forward, his foot made solid contact with the tool box with a loud thud, causing it to skitter a few inches forward before tipping over. Tools clattered on to the floor, the sound of metal on metal echoing painfully throughout the room.
“SHHH, shhh, shhhhhhh!” An irate voice hissed from somewhere nearby, and Garrus slowly made his way around to the other side of the Mako to identify what he already suspected the source to be.
“Good morning, Jane.” Garrus said slowly with a slight smile as he laid eyes on the special forces trained infiltrator laying on the floor between the vehicle and the wall, her arm draped over her eyes to protect them from the light.
“Uggghh, no it’s not.” She grunted, moving her arm just enough to allow her to glare at him with enough venom to murder. “What the hell was that racket? You trying to kill me?”
“Sorry, my bad, knocked something over. Did you spend all night down here? I could have sworn you landed in bed.”
“No, no, I slept upstairs. I came down here to get something done, but I just… Need to lay down for a bit. Until the world stops spinning. Or I die, you know, whichever happens first.”
“Geez, didn’t realize you were such a lightweight, Jane.” She glared at him again, this time with less venom and more ruefulness. It was impossible to keep the amusement out of his voice.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Vakarian. Get back to work and leave me to die in peace.” She groaned under her breath, rolling over to face the wall.
“Let me know if you need anything, like maybe a glass of water.” He managed to keep his voice neutral, but his sub vocals still rang with laughter and mirth as he turned and walked away.
“If you don’t stop laughing, I’m going to get up and kick your ass even with a hangover.” Jane called out, causing him to freeze where he was, his eyes widening in surprise. Slowly, he turned back and looked down at her.
“You understand turian subvocals?” Garrus asked in bewilderment, and she rolled back over just far enough to glance up at him.
“Not perfectly, no, but I can sometimes get the gist of it. Did some training with turians a few years ago, you quickly learn to pick up when you’re being laughed at.” She stated dryly, rolling back to face the wall. Garrus quickly tried to think back over the past weeks, trying to determine whether he’d accidentally made a fool of himself in front of her. It was impossible to say, he’d spent so much of his time around her and he’d become so lax about keeping them modulated like he would have around other turians.
“I see, well that’s good to know. I’ll keep that in mind.” He muttered, this time doing his best to keep his sub vocals neutral as well. She chuckled, reading his mind as he turned away, feeling his face flush. She was like a human omni-tool, full of unexpected skills he didn’t know about. He couldn’t help but wonder what other secrets she was hiding in her arsenal.
After about 30 minutes, Jane finally got to work, but not before downing an entire water bottle and a few pain pills. She looked worse for wear, but not any worse than anyone else that had been drinking the night before, which was most of the ship apparently. As the Normandy started departure protocols, Garrus absently wondered aloud where they were heading next.
“Feros.” Jane stated absently as she fiddled with a new omni-tool someone had picked up the day before. Garrus stopped, turning his entire attention to her, along with Wrex and Ashley, who seemed equally interested.
“So Udina did have useful information?” Ashley asked incredulously, and Garrus was not surprised to see that she looked even rougher and more hungover than Jane.
“Apparently, this lead seems pretty solid. Some rundown, would-be colony has been attacked by geth, and it seems legit. We’re not sure what the geth want from there, but it must have something to do with the conduit.” They spent the rest of the morning speculating together about their next mission on Feros, each hoping that this would be the lead that would bring them to the conduit.
“Feeling any better?” Garrus smirked as Jane sat down next to him later that night, all but slamming her reconstituted rations down on the table next to his own half eaten meal.
“Somewhat. Nothing a little sleep won’t fix.” She rolled a stiff shoulder leaning forward to tuck into her food. They chatted for a few minutes as they ate, crew members coming and going as they finished their own meals. After a few minutes, Tali came slouching up to stand across the table from them.
“Hey guys, mind if I join you?” She asked listlessly, tossing her tube of dextro nutrient paste onto the table before waiting for their reply. Sitting down, she rested her elbows on the table, holding her head up and she glared down at the tube before her.
“Having a bit of a rough day?” Jane asked, a certain mixture of amusement and empathy in her voice.
“I don’t want to talk about it. I have never felt so awful in my life, and I’ve been shot before. I don’t know why I let you talk me into it.” Tali moaned, directing a half hearted glare in Jane’s direction.
“It’s a rite of passage on a human ship, nothing like a day of regret after shore leave.” Jane shrugged, a bit of chagrin on her face. Tali only groaned in reply.
“Good evening, crew! How are you all doing?” Shepard walked into the room, his voice ringing with exuberance and energy. He got a somewhat half hearted reply from most of the ship, which only caused him to chuckle.
“Well aren’t you chipper, Sir.” Jane called out as he grabbed his own rations and started getting his meal ready.
“It’s been a productive day! For those of us who aren’t laboring under the effects of poor decisions, at least.” Shepard’s verbal thrust was punctuated by a brow raised in challenge in Jane’s direction, who studiously ignored him. “I got my reports all filed and got caught up on a bunch of paperwork I’ve been putting off, so I count today as a success.” He finished as he plopped down in the seat next to Tali, causing her to sit up straight suddenly. “Good evening, Tali. Hope you don’t mind if I sit here.”
“N-no, not at all, please feel free!” She stuttered, fumbling with the cap to her nutrient paste. Garrus watched in mild amusement and surprise as Tali’s discomfort and embarrassment seemed to only grow worse, completely unbeknownst to Shepard. He caught Jane’s eye as she glanced at him, also noticing the younger quarian’s behavior.
The small group chatted for a few minutes more, but Tali didn’t seem to relax as the meal continued. In fact, Garrus decided she seemed most flustered whenever Shepard addressed her. Well, that was interesting. Not entirely surprising, if he was reading her right. She was quite young and impressionable, and Shepard played the gallant rather well.
“Hello, Shepard. Everyone. Would you mind if I sat with you?” Liara said quietly as she joined them with her own meal, standing behind the seat on Shepard’s other side.
“Of course, Liara, please.” Shepard gestured to the seat, and Liara quickly slipped into it with a small smile. She quickly engaged him in conversation, and Garrus couldn’t tell if Tali was relieved or annoyed at the reprieve from Shepard’s notice. Though, he had to admit, he was starting to suspect the latter based on the light flush of pleasure creeping up Liara’s cheeks as she chatted with the Commander.
At the sound of a sigh, Garrus looked to Jane who was leaning back in her chair, arms crossed, her eyebrow raised in some combination of exasperation and amusement. She glanced at him and shrugged as if to say ‘what can you do?’ and he chuckled. Shepard seemed completely at ease and totally oblivious to the two younger women’s feelings. If Shepard wasn’t careful, he was going to be fighting half the crew off his doorstep. Somehow, though, he got the feeling that Shepard might subscribe to the Alliance anti-fraternization regulations, so they might walk away disappointed. Only time would tell.
Garrus smiled to himself as he realized how at home and at ease he felt with this crew, regardless of their species. He’d never been the best turian, he supposed this experience amongst so many humans was probably only exacerbating that problem. But they truly were starting to feel like a family now. After a moment, though, the ease started to flee as another realization set in. He had served as a soldier long enough to understand the risk and danger they put themselves in every time they set out on a mission. Particularly on high stakes missions such as theirs. Soldiers put their lives on the line everyday, it was part of the job. His eyes drifted back to the woman sitting next to him, the human who had become his best friend on this ship.
The closer they grew as a team, the more difficult it would become if they were to lose someone on the mission, an eventuality that they would be very lucky to dodge if they could. He tried to shake the feeling as he glanced at the team members around him, doing his best to keep in mind their exceptional skills and abilities. Taking a deep, calming breath, Garrus looked at the man across the table from himself. If anyone could get them all out alive, it was Shepard.
The days passed on in their usual fashion as they neared the colony world of Feros. They were due to arrive in about 12 hours, and Garrus would have been lying if he said he wasn’t a little anxious about what they were going to find. Their last mission on Noveria had turned into quite the shitstorm even though it had seemed to start simply enough. He’d tried reading what he could find about this planet, but there wasn’t much to learn.
By the time evening rolled around, Garrus felt his pre-mission nerves prickling beneath his plates. Unable to sit and chat up in the mess, he was trying to keep himself from pacing down in the cargo bay by busying his hands with the Mako. It didn’t need any work at the moment, having sat unused for the past week, and wasn’t even currently due for any maintenance. Sighing, he fiddled with the controls, trying to see if he could finagle the heads up display to play a little nicer with the targeting algorithm, but wasn’t having much luck.
What were they going to find on Feros? Would it really lead them to the conduit? And was the conduit really going to help them catch Saren? Had Saren already come and gone?
“What are you up to, Garrus? Still at work? Is it giving you any trouble?” Garrus glanced down from where he sat in the driver’s seat to see Shepard looking up at him with concern written across his face.
“No, it’s fine. I was just trying to find something to keep busy.” Garrus jumped down out of the vehicle, dusting off his hands as he walked over to the other man. “Commander. I… What can I do for you?” Shepard must have noticed the anxiety in his voice, because the concern on his face only grew more pronounced.
“Something bothering you?” Garrus considered the question, but after a moment, he decided honesty was the best route. Shepard’s open countenance and genuine concern put people at ease, and Garrus was no exception.
“It’s Saren. I’m starting to wonder if we’ll ever find him.” He found himself shifting his weight from side to side, his nervous energy making it impossible to stand still. “He’s always one step ahead of us. And he’s got those damn geth.”
“We’re getting close, Garrus. We’ll find him.” Shepard’s voice was calm and controlled as usual, always such a pillar of stability. Garrus would be lying if he said he didn’t find his confidence and self assurance comforting.
“I wish I had your confidence.” Suddenly, he was back on Noveria, deep within the research facility, clutching a gasping Jane, watching Liara screaming for her dying mother. He thought back to his investigation and all the loose threads that lead back to the rogue turian Spectre. “I just can’t stand the thought of him getting away with everything he’s done.” Taking a calming breath, he focused back on the Commander. “I know you’re doing everything you can. And if anyone can catch him, it’s you, but… If there’s anything else I can do to help. Anything. Just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.” The words were out of him in a rush before he could really process what he was saying.
“I understand your concern, but we will find him. Just make sure you’re ready to go when we do.” The finality and resolution in the man’s words did a lot to soothe Garrus’ nerves, and after a steading breath, he smiled.
“Yes, Sir. You can count on me.” Garrus could hear the difference in his own voice, stronger and more assured now. It had been a while since he’d served under a man who could inspire so much confidence with so few words. “Thanks for hearing me out. I appreciate it.” They continued to talk about Saren after that, discussing what outcome Shepard thought appropriate for Saren. But through all of it, Garrus only felt his own determination and certainty grow that if anyone could do this, it was Shepard. He was proud to be serving under him and among this crew. He had had his world views so completely turned on their head the past few weeks, and he knew that there was nowhere else he’d rather be right now.
Chapter 13: Part 1: Chapter 11
Summary:
In which Garrus needs some assistance.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 11
Feros
Unlike Noveria, Feros didn’t hold up any pretensions or airs. It was a heap of flaming rubble and didn’t pretend to be anything more. Embers from the burning spires around them rained down on their heads as they made their way into the crumbling tower. Dust hung in the air, giving the colony an eerie, green haze while far off explosions thrummed in their ears. Garrus clutched his assault rifle close as their column slowly snaked its way up the stair ways. He’d hardly put it down since they stepped foot off the Normandy.
“This place feels just like home, heh.” Wrex muttered from just behind him, and Garrus turned to look at him with a raised brow plate. “Never said home was fancy.”
“I get why you left…” Garrus murmured as he turned back to follow Ashley as they made their way up the stairs. Their scanners weren’t picking up any readings, but they were never very trustworthy when it came to the geth. His eyes darted from hiding place to hiding place, trying to detect any sign of movement as he picked his way over the chunks of crumbled stone littering the stairs.
“I don’t like this, something feels wrong.” He could hear Ashley just ahead of him as she looked out over the edge of the stairwell. “I feel like-!” Suddenly the whole building seemed to rock as an explosion went off somewhere above them. Debris fell from the ceiling and the floor seemed to gain a multitude of new cracks. Ashley flung out an arm to steady herself, the ground beneath her starting to crumble.
“Look out!” Jane yelled from just in front of the struggling woman, leaping toward her. They collided with a thump, Jane’s momentum pushing them past the chunk of floor now crumbling to plummet toward the ground meters below. More chunks below them started to detach, and Garrus lurched forward in an attempt to grab the two women before they could fall. With a shove, Jane sent Ashley head first toward him, but Garrus’ stomach dropped as he watched her struggle to regain her own footing. Passing Ashley off to Wrex, Garrus leapt forward, his hand gripping Jane’s wrist as the ground gave out below her. She landed hard, most of her lower body dangling over the pit below.
“Jane! Hold on!” Shepard yelled as he, Kaidan, Tali, and Liara all hurried toward them, careful to keep a safe distance between themselves and the collapsing stairs. Garrus quickly shifted his grip to grab her under the arms, hauling her up as Ashley and Wrex hurried to give a hand. Their breathing ragged, they finally were able to relax as Jane was hauled back onto solid ground.
“That was… a close one.” Jane said between breaths as Shepard came to kneel besides her. He passed a critical eye over her, checking for injuries before patting her back reassuringly with a smile.
“Looks like all your limbs are still attached, ready to keep going?”
“Yeah, but maybe we all stay a little closer to the wall this time?” There was a chorus of agreement as everyone carefully stepped further away from the edge. Garrus offered her a hand, which she took, and he pulled her back up onto her feet.
“Thanks, LT. I owe you one.” Ashley said ruefully, and Jane nodded in her direction before turning to follow those already pressing forward.
“I’m sure you will have a chance to pay me back. This place is one big death trap. Why would anyone start a colony somewhere like this?”
They had arrived in the morning, according to the local time, but it was already late afternoon by the time they finished clearing out the geth and assisting the colony settlement of Zhu’s Hope. Their next destination, the ExoGeni headquarters, was quite a trip away, which was how Garrus found himself strapped into a Mako, one which he had not been responsible for the maintenance for, being shaken about like a pebble in a storm. The suspension on this one was plain awful, and he wished he could shoot whoever had let it fall into this condition. Who knew the last time it had been properly calibrated?
Shepard was driving, and Garrus wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not. On the bright side, He was a very careful driver, always mindful to find the best route through, not just the fastest. This was directly opposite of how it’d been a few times Jane had gotten to drive, which honestly they had all been lucky to walk away from alive. However, the trip, which they were told should have taken about two hours, was quickly creeping up on three hours long due to all the roadblocks, debris, and geth they encountered. Sure, they were alive, but the sun was quickly setting, and Garrus was starting to get the feeling that fighting their way through the headquarters in the dark wasn’t such a great idea. Besides him, Jane seemed to be dozing lightly, the rocking of the Mako putting her to sleep. From past experience, he knew how quickly she could snap awake in typical military fashion, so did his best to help keep her steady so she could get some rest.
They had picked up a weak comm signal a few times during the past hour, but it had always been too faint to track it’s origin. It had definitely been getting stronger and clearer, so Garrus had some hope that they would be able to track it soon. As they passed through a roofed section of the walkway, the foreign signal suddenly came through again, this time much clearer.
“We’ve got movement… some kind of vehicle. Not one of the geth. ” The atmosphere in the Mako tensed at the words, eyes glancing around at each other. The same thought seemed to be on everyone’s mind.
“More chatter incoming, Commander. Still no fix.” Kaidan said, looking up from his omni-tool.
“Sounds like they spotted us. They must be close.” Ashley added, and Garrus agreed, bracing himself. They didn’t know yet if these people were friends or foes. Glancing down at Jane, he noticed she was now wide awake and ready to go.
“Hold up a moment, I think I see something.” Shepard murmured as the Mako started to slow down. Just ahead was a tunnel leading down, light emanating from the passage. “As soon as we disembark, I want weapons drawn and ready. We don’t know who's down there, so be ready for anything.” His words were met with the sounds of seatbelts disengaging and weapons being drawn.
It wasn’t long before they discovered the huddled survivors of the ExoGeni headquarters, and it was disheartening to see how few remained. They had been squatting in an out of the way nook hidden along the skyway for quite some time, apparently, completely unaware that any of the colonists had survived. After seeing the sun setting, Shepard checked their location on his omni-tool before turning to their leader, Ethan Jeong.
“We’re planning on heading to the headquarters to take care of the geth, but we don’t want to set out while it’s dark. Do you mind if we camp here for the night and set out once it’s light again?” His suggestion, though Garrus had thought it completely reasonable, was met with suspicion and hesitancy on the part of Jeong. His colleague, Juliana Baynham, however, was perfectly happy to set them up with a place to rest for the night in the corner of their camp.
Which was how Garrus found himself leaning up against a railing, looking over a pile of rubble out toward the towering spires beyond. The sun was below the horizon now, and the last vestiges of light lit up the towers, causing them to glow with an almost ethereal luminescence.
“It’s pretty amazing, huh?” Garrus turned to see Kaidan come to stand beside him, looking out over the view before them. “Makes you wonder what this place looked like back in its heyday, back when the protheans were still around.”
“Yeah, it must have been something.” Garrus murmured in reply, returning to gazing out at the towers.
“There’s a lot of speculation over what it had been like, but it’s hard to say for sure. Over two thirds of the surface of the planet is covered in ruins, so it must have been quite a metropolis back during their time.” Liara walked up to them, her voice quiet at first, but gaining in confidence as she continued. “There’s reason to believe that the climate was somewhat colder back then, and I believe that much of the remaining land was devoted to farm land, though there were once large hydroponic gardens on the top of each of the buildings. The only water is found at the poles, which must have been the case during the prothean’s time because there is an extensive aqueduct system in place to deliver the water across the planet.” Garrus’s eyes widened as she continued, a wellspring of information gushing forth from the asari.
“Huh. That’s… really interesting.” Kaidan looked equally as amazed, though he seemed genuine in his interest. Noticing both their expressions, Liara flushed a little, looking down.
“Sorry, that was probably more information than you were looking for.”
“No, it’s okay. I know you’re an expert on the protheans, but I had no idea you knew so much about their old settlements.” Garrus turned to face her, gesturing for her to join them. She smiled, coming to join them at the railing.
“I’ve never been here, personally, as it was well picked over long before I was born. But I’ve read the reports about it extensively. It is very beautiful, isn’t it? And sad. Places like this are all that’s left of such an amazing civilization.”
“If Shepard is right, we could end up going the same way if we can’t stop Saren.” Kaidan muttered, turning away from the view of the towers as the light started to fade. Neither Garrus nor Liara responded, but both frowned as they contemplated the ramifications of failure.
As they descended under the colony toward the Thorian’s lair, Garrus had to marvel at how they’d come full circle. They’d started out leaving the Normandy only a stone’s throw from here the day before. Then they had traveled hours to the ExoGeni headquarters only to learn that their target had been here all along. The creature that Saren had sent his geth to find, something called the Thorian.
They approached the massive thing, and it was hard not to feel a sense of disgust mingled with dread, and perhaps a little awe. This thing had made thralls out of all the colonists along with all the odd, humanoid creepers that had been throwing themselves at Shepard’s team since they’d returned from the headquarters.
And of course negotiation got them nowhere.
And so they found themselves fighting through the hallways, destroying the strange appendages holding the thorian in place as they were attacked from all directions by more creepers and odd, green asari clones.
“There’s another one up ahead.” Tali pointed to the neural node stretched out high up in the crumbled hall ahead of them.
“Okay, brace yourselves.” Shepard called back to the team following behind him, and everyone raised their weapons. Shepard pulled out his shotgun and fired round after round into it, finally breaking through the fleshy roots, causing it to gush fluid down onto the floor. Somewhere far away, they heard a shriek as the creature suffered another blow.
Garrus drew his assault rifle up, preparing for the onslaught to come pouring down the stairs ahead of them. Shepard, Wrex, and Kaidan were at the head of their column, Liara, Tali, and Ashley following quickly behind them, leaving him and Jane bringing up the rear. He heard Jane just behind him pause, looking around. But nothing came. Straining his ears, he swore he could hear the far off sounds of shuffling feet coming closer. Just then, he turned to see creepers hurrying toward the doorway to his left. Dozens of the green, groaning abominations were dashing toward them at speeds that should have been impossible for such shambling creatures.
“Incoming!” He yelled, firing into the oncoming pack as he back peddled. As they burst through the doorway, he and Jane dove for cover dodging and avoiding the gnashing teeth and claws of the horrific onslaught. They poured into the corridor, separating them from the others, who fell back into protective positions of their own. Shot after shot, the creepers fell and yet more rose to take their place. Garrus was forced to retreat further back as the attack continued, but as he rolled into a better position, he didn’t count on the creeper that leapt over the pile of rubble directly at him.
“Shit!” He exclaimed as its claws reached for him, its teeth bared. It latched onto him as they went down and he struggled for purchase in order to throw the creature off him. He felt the claws cut through the softer materials in the joints of his armor, sinking into his flesh like needles. Hissing in pain, he managed to reach for his pistol, bringing it up to shoot the creeper in the jaw with a series of hurried shots. As it collapsed on top of him, he took a moment of relief to breathe before he realized his mistake. As it sagged to the side, its body seemed to explode with a cloud of spores, causing him to cough as he breathed it in from such a close distance.
“Garrus! Are you okay?” Jane called from the other side of the small room as she ducked out of cover to fire at the oncoming creepers.
“Yeah- * cough * I think so.” He managed to wheeze as he shoved the remains of the creeper off himself, but realized the seriousness of the situation as soon as he tried to roll off his back. The world swam as he tried to get up, and it felt like his lungs were on fire. “Or maybe not.” He managed to sit up and braced his back against the wall as Jane took out the last creeper running at them.
Looking down, Garrus brought a hand up to inspect the damage to his other arm where the creeper’s claws had cut him, but it was like he was seeing everything through a tunnel. He leaned his head back against the wall, his breathing coming raggedly. Jane checked that the coast was clear before dashing over to kneel in front of him, putting her rifle down. She pulled up her omni-tool and ran it across him as it scanned.
“Looks like a poison. Let me get those gashes closed up and we’ll see if there’s anything I can do about it.” Jane muttered as she applied medi-gel, the sounds of battle echoing down the corridor from where the others still fought the creepers. Just then, out of the corner of his eye, Garrus saw movement. Mustering every ounce of strength and coordination he could, he grabbed Jane and pulled both of them down to the floor just in time as the asari clone fired a series of rounds through the space they’d occupied seconds before. “Commander, we’re going to need back up.” Jane said hurriedly.
Whipping up her pistol, Jane fired a few rounds toward the clone before grabbing Garrus and shoving him behind cover. He watched, pain wracking his body, as Jane stood, her weapon trained on where the asari had ducked into cover a moment earlier. Suddenly, the clone jumped out from cover, her hand glowing with biotic power. With a scream, she fired off a biotic throw, sending Jane flying backwards to land hard on her back, her pistol skittering out of her hands with the force of the impact.
Within a moment, the clone had dashed across the room, throwing herself at Jane with a biotic attack ready. Jane rolled out of the way as the clone’s glowing fist crashed down into the floor where her head had been. She struggled to her feet, her hand going to her belt where she unsheathed a standard issue Alliance combat knife, holding it up at the ready to defend herself against the asari biotic. The clone pulled out her rifle again, raising it to fire at Jane, who dashed into cover once more.
Garrus was feeling panic starting to well up as he struggled to clear his head, the toxin in his system making it hard to think clearly. Was he just going to sit here and watch as the clone hunted Jane down before turning on him? His pistol was nearby, if only he could see straight enough to grab it. Would he be able to fire a shot with enough accuracy to hit the enemy and not his teammate?
As the asari stalked closer, all of a sudden Jane leapt out at her, knocking the weapon aside and delivering a forceful kick to her side, causing her to drop her weapon and keel to the side. Jane was on her in a flash, knife flashing as she aimed for the clone’s throat. But the asari wasn’t done, for with a valiant effort she managed to flip them so that she was on top, her fist coming up to deliver a powerful punch to the side of Jane’s head. Even with his affected vision, the sight of the red blood as it dripped down Jane’s chin made his chest clench. He tried reaching again for the pistol, this time feeling his fingers brushing against the handle.
The asari lifted her fist again, now glowing with biotic energy. But before she could bring her fist down, Jane let loose an angry cry as she readjusted the grip on her knife and smashed it into the join between the asari’s neck and shoulder. With a scream, the clone rolled off of her, bringing a hand up to clutch at the wound.
“Jane! Catch!” Garrus managed to call out as his hand finally closed around the handle of the pistol. He chucked it in her direction, and she jumped up to catch it before turning to put one neatly aimed shot between the asari’s eyes. She collapsed in a heap without a word, and Jane took a moment to regain her breath before bending down to retrieve her knife. Wiping it off as best she could, she resheathed it before grabbing her pistol off the ground nearby. She holstered it before hurrying over to Garrus.
“ Jane, Garrus, what’s your status? I’m sending Tali and Kaidan down to your position. Sorry for the delay, we ran into another one of those clones. ” Shepard’s concerned voice came in over their coms as Jane grabbed and holstered her assault rifle before grabbing Garrus’ arm and throwing it over her shoulders with a grunt. He did his best to support his weight as the world spun again.
“We’re okay, we fought a clone as well. Garrus was poisoned by one of the creepers, but he seems stable for the time being. We’re heading in your direction.”
“ Ashley and Liara are suffering from the same thing, but it seems to start wearing off after a little. Let’s regroup and reevaluate before we continue further. ”
“Come on, Big Guy. Maybe if we get you moving, we can work it out of your system.” Jane said with surprising gentleness as he got his feet under him. Admittedly, he was starting to feel a bit better. He glanced around and his eyes landed on the body of the clone laying broken and bloodied on the floor.
“Glad that you’re… on our side.” He muttered with a flick of his mandibles, his voice laced with strained subvocals. Jane chuckled in response before leading him onward.
Chapter 14: Part 1: Chapter 12
Summary:
In which is everyone sees it except Garrus.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 12
The SSV Normandy
The frustration running rampant aboard the Normandy must have been infectious because everyone seemed as tightly wound as a spring in the days following Feros. Even though Shepard had received the Cipher, not much seemed to have come from the ordeal. They’d all hoped that it would suddenly make his visions understandable instead of just a collection of horrific yet disconnected images. Instead, it seemingly made them worse. They’d all sat around the com room as they’d watched Liara meld with the Commander in hopes of making sense of the visions with the new Cipher, but for nothing.
Now they were back where they had been, drifting with no new leads. In the meanwhile, they attended to some smaller missions here and there as they moved from system to system in hopes that they would encounter some sort of clue.
Even though he was frustrated over the lack of progress on their search for Saren, Garrus did genuinely enjoy the other ground missions when he was taken along. Shepard usually took a smaller team with him for these sorts of things, and it was always an honor to be chosen.
Which was how he found himself packed into the Mako with Shepard, Tali, and Wrex as they assaulted a series of geth hideouts in the Skyllian Verge. The road, such as it was, was less than ideal, causing them to be tossed about roughly as Shepard navigated his way up toward the nearest base.
“Ugh, I’m going to be sick…” Tali muttered quietly from her seat beside him, her head sagging as she tried to steady herself.
“Well, I guess it’s lucky for the rest of us, then, that you can’t remove your helmet here.” Garrus couldn’t help the amused reply that burst from him, feeling slightly bad for poking fun at the motion sick quarian. She looked up to shoot him an unamused glare, causing Wrex to laugh. “I’m just saying, besides making the rest of this mission rather uncomfortable, it would be a pain to clean up, which would probably fall on me.”
“I’ve never known a turian to shirk a duty.” Wrex shot back at him, “I thought you all like some good, hard work. Builds ‘character’.” He sneered in his usual way when mentioning his love for turians.
“Well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly the best turian.” Garrus deadpanned at the krogan, causing him to laugh heartily.
“Perhaps not! Probably for the best.”
“Can you two please shut up? I’m getting pretty good with this shotgun.” Tali growled as she glared down at her boots. From up front, Shepard laughed before playing peacemaker, as he always did.
When he wasn’t on missions, Garrus was occasionally starting to find work a little harder to focus on.
“Garrus, what do you think about this? Can you give me a hand with it?” His head snapped up and he looked over at Jane as she walked toward him with a weapon mod in her hands. Pleased that she had come to ask his opinion, he happily put his own work down at the welcome distraction. From across the cargo bay, he heard a low chuckle and he looked up for a moment to see Wrex watching as he leaned against the wall. Ignoring him, Garrus followed Jane back to the weapons station.
They worked together, quietly chatting and laughing for about an hour before Jane suddenly looked down at her omni-tool and cursed.
“What’s wrong?” Garrus asked as she hurriedly started putting her tools away.
“I completely forgot that I have a meeting with the Commander to go over the requisition for our next resupply. Thanks for the help, that damn mod has been pissing me off all day. I’ll see you at dinner.” She turned and hurried to the elevator and he felt the sting of disappointment at her departure. As she pushed the button to summon the lift, he called out to her.
“Tomorrow morning, are you up for a spar? It’s been a few days, could definitely use it.” Jane turned to look at him and smiled as the door opened.
“Sure thing, it’s a date!” She stepped inside, pushed the button, and the door closed. Garrus stood there for a moment, smiling at the warmth he felt at the prospect of their upcoming match. His thoughts were interrupted by the chuckling of the krogan not far off.
“Care to share what's so amusing?” Garrus sighed, turning back to the mod on the desk.
“You really have it bad, don’t you?” Raising a brow plate at him, Garrus looked back up at Wrex in confusion.
“Have what bad?”
“Ha! You sure are thick, even for a turian. Well, at least you know how to pick ‘em.” Wrex snorted, a self satisfied smirk playing across his lips.
“What are you even talking about?” Wrex didn’t answer, just tipped his head back with a bark of laughter. Rolling his eyes, Garrus ignored the krogan, muttering about eccentric old men under his breath as he put the weapon mod back in its box and returned to the Mako.
“I heard that!” Wrex called good naturedly, but Garrus ignored him, instead trying to focus back on his work. But every time the elevator dinged and the door opened, his eyes snapped up to see who was getting off the lift, only to be disappointed when he didn’t see red hair.
A few weeks after Feros, Shepard called them into the com room for a meeting suddenly, and as they filed in, Garrus felt a glimmer of hope that their wait was over.
“I received a call from the Council, I think we finally have a new lead.” Shepard started, “We’ve set a course for Sentry Omega, to the Hoc System. The Council contacted me about an STG infiltration team gathering information about Saren on a planet called Virmire. They went silent after sending a garbled message on the line reserved for mission critical communications. We’re going to see if we can figure out what happened to them. It might lead to a discovery about Saren’s activities.”
They continued to discuss the information Shepard had received and went over what they knew of Virmire’s terrain and ecosystem. But Garrus soon realized that was really all they knew going into this. It wasn’t much to go on, and it left him feeling unsettled. They were going in blind.
He could see similar thoughts crossing the faces of those around him, but as they all looked to Shepard, Garrus knew that the Commander was the best man to see them through it. Just as the people arranged around him were the best teammates he could hope for, each with their particular skill set that they excelled at.
Ashley; her courage and gun skills were superb. Kaidan; his biotic and tech skills made him invaluable, but so did his steadfastness, always ready for what came. Wrex; like a walking tank, only a fool with a death wish could stand in the way of his biotics and shotgun, but his vast wealth of experience also made him wise. Liara; her biotics made her a very formidable opponent, but she was also an almost inexhaustible well of knowledge. Tali; she was the very best at everything technical, and she was becoming very lethal with her shotgun after all her practice on Geth, Mercs and Rachni. And…
She stood looking down at the corpse of the odd, green asari, her chest and shoulders heaving as she worked to regain her breath. Wisps and strands of glistening red hair dangled in her face, and after a moment, she lifted a hand to brush them away. Her deep green eyes glinted like steel as they examined the body before her. Her mouth was slightly parted as her breathing started to return to normal, and he had to rip his eyes away from the crimson stain of her own blood making her lips redder than usual. She turned slightly, glancing at him, and as their eyes met, there was a ghost of a smile on those lips. She turned back to the dead clone, and bent down to retrieve her knife, wiping it off with slow, careful movements before sheathing it back on her belt with deadly grace.
Shaking himself, he tried to focus back in on the conversation at hand, but couldn’t stop himself from glancing at the woman sitting in the chair next to him. Of all those on the team, Jane was the one he trusted most at his six. She was an even better shot than he, sniping down enemies long before they knew she was there. She was deadly at any range, as she had demonstrated time and time again in close quarters combat. He had never seen anyone quite like her, and even in her combat armor she moved with such fluidity that she still managed to seem graceful and bea-
He jerked his thoughts back to the meeting at hand, trying to not to miss anything important. Shepard always sent them a copy of the debrief overview to their extranet accounts, so he could review it later to make sure he hadn’t missed anything, but still. It wasn’t professional to get lost in your own musings to the extent that he had been lately.
It had become somewhat of a ritual to hold a little game session once a week, though it generally varied in attendance from week to week, depending on what was being played. Poker seemed to be most popular with the humans of the crew, but Garrus had yet to fully grasp the rules to that one. Today, Liara was attempting to teach a few of them to play an asari card game, but with mixed results. Tali and Wrex had elected not to play, instead chatting over some magazine about shotgun mods Tali had borrowed from the older krogan.
Kaidan and Ashley were clutching their cards, whispering confusedly with their heads together. Liara was laughing as she reiterated some rule for Jane, who looked only mildly less confused than the other two humans. It was good to see Liara relaxing amongst the Normandy crew as she seemed to be doing more often these days. She appeared to have little experience socializing with non asari, and so this was all probably a little new to her. Anyone with eyes, except Shepard himself, could see her fixation and fascination with the Commander from a mile off, so perhaps that was helping her pick up on human social norms. But seeing her also settle into friendships with the crew members was a good sign, and as Jane quipped a little joke at her own expense, Garrus was happy to see the two women laugh together.
He knew that his translator altered a lot, if not all, of what he heard from members of other races, but laughing seemed to be something shared across nearly all species. Each race’s laugh sounded different, but the concept seemed to be mostly the same. Human laughs, much like they themselves, varied dramatically from person to person, more so than with any other race. Garrus liked Jane’s laugh, and more and more it made him want to smile. It was low and genuine, and just rare enough that it made him feel warm when he heard it.
As he glanced at her, his eyes slid down to the two metal tags dangling from a chain around her neck. He wasn’t sure why the Alliance called them ‘dog tags’, but they had a few odd names for things, so he wasn’t surprised. But he was curious about why they wore them. Sure, he understood the concept, but it seemed so outrageously out of date in a world of DNA and wearable personal electronics like omni-tools. Turians hadn’t worn identifying military tags for hundreds of years, unless you counted their colony markings, so it seemed odd that the humans held steadfast to such an outdated tradition.
Usually, Jane wore hers under her shirt where you couldn’t see it, as it seemed most Alliance soldiers did. But occasionally, such as tonight, she wore them above her shirt for whatever reason, and Garrus found his eyes drawn to them time and time again. She probably didn’t even realize she was doing it, but she kept picking one or both of them up and twiddling them between her five fingers while she looked at her cards or chatted with Liara. They clattered together softly as she dropped them back down onto her chest, returning to their usual position dangling from the thin chain. His eyes traced the line of the chain up around her neck, which seemed so exposed and lithe, particularly without her armor on.
“Garrus?” The sound of Jane’s voice brought him back to the present as his eyes snapped up to meet her bemused and slightly concerned ones. “You okay? Liara has been trying to get your attention.”
“Huh? Oh. What’s up, Liara?” Garrus cleared his throat in embarrassment, berating himself for letting his thoughts drift so far away from the game at hand.
“It’s your turn.” Liara was staring at him intently, and for a moment he felt as though he were a particularly interesting lab experiment. She seemed to be examining a confusing puzzle.
“Ah. Right.” Garrus sat up, clearing his throat again, “So, remind me, what do I do when it’s my turn?” He asked, a bit chagrined that he’d already forgotten the rules. This seemed to deepen her confusion for a moment before her eyes widened as if to say ‘ah ha!’. Her eyebrows shot up as she quickly glanced at Jane, who’d gone back to examining her own cards, before returning to him. Suddenly, a small knowing smile settled on Liara’s lips, her eyes flicking back to Jane once more before she focused on him.
She began to explain the actions he could take on his turn, and Garrus was left mildly amused by her behavior. He supposed for all her gains in social interactions, she was still a tad bit awkward sometimes. He could relate, he had a habit of… how had Ridgefield used to put it? Putting his hand in his mouth? No, putting his foot in his mouth.
As their attempt at playing Liara’s card game came to an end, they hit their bunks for the night. As everyone silently got ready for bed, Garrus could see any frivolity left over from the game flee as a more somber, pre-mission contemplation seemed to grip the members of the ground team. Except, Wrex, he supposed. He seemed as unflappable as always. Tomorrow they would be arriving at Virmire, and they had almost no idea what to expect. It was hard to mentally prepare for a mission you had so little information about. As he lay in his bunk, he glanced around at the shifting, sleeping, and otherwise quiet bodies laying in the bunks around him. He wondered if any of the others had the same ominous, uncomfortable, tightening in their chests.
In the days that would follow, he would come to realize that there’s nothing one can do to prepare for missions such as Virmire .
Chapter 15: Part 1: Chapter 13
Summary:
In which Garrus is blindsided by ruthless calculus.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 13
Virmire
Virmire reminded Garrus of home. Its warm, humid air and tropical atmosphere whispered to him of days spent in the sun as a child, splashing through shallow creeks and sandy beaches with his sister in the days before their move to the Citadel for their father’s career.
What he didn’t like was the tight dread that had lodged itself between his shoulders, particularly now that they were grounded at the salarian camp outside Saren’s base. Lightning lit up the sky in the distance followed by cracks of thunder periodically, doing nothing to help his nerves. He listened attentively from just behind Shepard as he talked with the captain, Kirrahe, about the situation, and watched with trepidation as Wrex got right up in the salarian’s face before storming off.
“That’s no good.” Jane muttered from beside him, watching as Wrex made his way to the waterside at the other end of the camp. “I’m going to have a word with him.” She added before turning and following the krogan. Garrus watched her for a moment before turning his attention back to the conversation. They were discussing a few minor details and going through questions at the moment, but it seemed to be winding down.
“- you can talk to Commander Rentola. He’s in one of the tents nearby.” Kirrahe finished before taking his leave to talk to his men. After a heartbeat, Shepard turned to them, a thoughtful expression on his face.
“Looks like things are a bit of a mess.” Kaidan said after a moment and Shepard nodded slowly in agreement.
“I agree. We’ll see what the salarians come up with in regards to a plan, but we will need to be prepared for anything. I can’t believe we stumbled upon his base of operations. Maybe we won’t need to worry about the Mu Relay just yet after all.” Shepard crossed his arms as he looked down at his own feet, apparently lost in thought and almost speaking to himself.
“I wouldn’t be so worried if it wasn’t for Wrex. He looked like he was about to blow a gasket.” Ashley pointed out, and Shepard looked up at her, nodding in agreement.
“You think I should go talk to him?”
“It wouldn’t hurt.” She sounded hesitant, “Well, it might, actually. Just do it carefully.” Garrus wondered if it would actually come to blows with Wrex. He had no doubt that they could handle him if it came to a fight, or at least he was mostly sure they could do it. But he had grown to like the old krogan over the past weeks aboard the Normandy, and something about having to shoot him didn’t quite sit right. Looking up, his eyes searched out the red armored Wrex on the other side of the camp, and nearly reeled at the shock of the scene playing out there.
“Uh, Commander, I think you might need to go handle that now .” Garrus exclaimed as he gestured in Wrex’s direction before drawing his weapon. The three humans turned to see Wrex and Jane in a standoff, their own weapons drawn and aimed at each other, their voices raised. Garrus couldn’t yet understand what they were saying, but took off after Shepard, who was running in their direction. As they got closer, he could begin to make out their words.
“- but if you harm one hair on his body, I will peel that oversized plate off your head with a dull knife.” Jane spat, her eyes cold and her arm steady as she pointed her pistol at one of Wrex’s only exposed weak points.
“Help me out here, Pyjack. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand.” Wrex snapped, his own gun still leveled and aimed between her eyes.
“Whoa, whoa now!” Shepard yelled as he came to a sliding stop between the two, his arms outstretched as if to hold them apart. “What is going on here? I expect better from both of you.” The concern and anger in his voice seemed to be enough to break through to Jane, who lowered her weapon.
“Wrex here is losing his mind, you need to talk sense into him. He wants to save these puppet krogan and is making threats if we stand in his way.” Jane snarled, her voice barely civil as she glared past her brother at Wrex.
“Shepard, if I’m going to keep following you, I need to know we’re doing it for the right reasons.” Wrex growled, his weapon still drawn, but now pointed at the Commander’s chest. Shepard took a deep breath, but didn’t flinch as he made direct eye contact with the larger krogan.
“Wrex, these krogan aren’t your people. They’re slaves of Saren. Tools. Is that what you want for them?” Shepard’s voice was placatory and calm, almost one would be when trying to sooth a scared or angry animal. The words seemed to sink in, though, and Garrus could almost see the cogs spinning in Wrex’s head as his eyes scanned Shepard’s face, searching for any sign of duplicity.
“No.” He finally admitted, sighing. “We were tools for the council once. To thank us for wiping out the rachni, they neutered us all. I doubt Saren will be as generous.” Finally, Wrex lowered his weapon, and Garrus felt himself let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “All right, Shepard. You’ve made your point. I don’t like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead.” The entire camp probably took a collective breath of relief, and Garrus could see Shepard and Jane both relax slightly. “Just one thing. When we find Saren, I want his head.”
At that last, the two Shepard’s expressions varied greatly. The Commander gave Wrex a stern look as if to say ‘I don’t think so, mister’, while Jane’s amused half smirk and raised eyebrow almost said ‘not if I get him first.’
As Wrex walked away, Shepard turned to Jane and muttered something, causing her to glance down, clearly admonished.
“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.” She replied, standing up straight. After a minute, she added, “If it helps, he pulled his weapon first.” Shepard snorted at that, not quite in disbelief. Jane’s smile returned as he clapped her on the shoulder before walking back toward the tents as well.
“You sure do seem to attract trouble.” Garrus stated as she came to join him, and they turned to follow Shepard.
“Like moths to a flame.” After a moment, she turned to glance at him, her smile becoming more of a smirk. “By the way, Big Guy, if you want to have any hope of beating me before the next shore leave, you’re going to have to do better.”
Garrus glanced at the data in his visor display:
-Kill Count-
[GV: 103]
[JS: 110]
“Crap.”
Garrus was already starting to feel exhaustion setting in as they slogged through the ankle deep water of the cloning facility. The telltale sound of the Normandy’s engines were getting louder and louder as it came in for it’s landing, and Garrus let himself feel a glimmer of hope as he watched the team descend the ramps with the bomb a few minutes later.
“Jenkins, get Liara up to the med bay, make sure Chakwas sees to her leg.” Shepard directed as he motioned the young corporal over, gesturing to the limping asari he was supporting. Liara winced, the wound on her leg still bleeding, regardless of the applied medi-gel, and Jenkins picked her up as carefully as he could before slowly making his way back up into the ship.
“Bomb is in position, we’re all set here.” Kaidan informed them as he approached Shepard, who nodded in satisfaction. Garrus had been hesitant at first when Kirrahe had requested one of their team join him for the mission, but he thought Shepard had made the right call by sending Ashley. She was a very strong soldier, very capable of handling whatever was thrown at her. Kaidan’s tech skills made him a much better choice for handling the cobbled together explosive.
“ Commander, can you read me?” Ashley’s static filled voice burst over their coms, and Garrus knew something was wrong immediately from the tightness in her voice.
“The nuke is almost ready. Get to the rendezvous point, Williams!” Shepard barked into his com, already turning to begin giving orders to the rest of the team.
“ Negative, Commander. The geth have us pinned down on the AA tower. We’ve taken heavy casualties.” Wide eyes met as the remaining ground team looked at one another with worry. “ We’ll never make the rendezvous point in time.”
“Damn it.” Jane muttered, running a hand through her hair in frustration.
“Get them out of there, Joker. Now!” Shepard shouted, his usual calm starting to crack as the situation began to crumble under their feet.
“Negative.” Ashley’s voice was ragged, she was clearly exhausted, “It’s too hot! Can’t risk it. We’ll hold them off as long as we-” The line cut off suddenly as though Ashley had been forced to disconnect. At least, Garrus hoped that was the reason, and not something more final. Shepard didn’t move, his eyes darting as he considered his next steps. Garrus had never seen the Commander so stressed, he wished there was more he could do to help. But deep down, he knew he was glad he wasn’t the one having to make this decision.
“It’s okay, Commander.” Kaidan said as he turned back to the bomb, clearly also having read Shepard’s indecision, “I need a couple minutes to finish arming the bomb. Get them and meet me back here.”
“Tali, stay here and help Kaidan arm the bomb. I want that thing ready to go ASAP, understood?” Shepard snapped, turning to face the young quarian. She stood up straighter and nodded before quickly hurrying to help Kaidan. “Jane, Garrus, Wrex. Up to the AA tower. Move!”
Nodding, the three of them followed Shepard as he hurried for the large door leading off from the main area. Behind them, the Normandy took off, heading to pick up one of the other salarain teams that had arrived at their pick up location. With any luck, everyone would make it out of this okay.
After plowing through a group of tank bred krogan, the ground team made their way to an elevator leading up toward the AA tower. Anxiety pierced the air around them like a knife as they waited for the slow machine to carry them upwards. The only sound beside the clunks of the machine was the quick, nervous taps coming from the feet of both the Shepards. Finally, the door opened and they poured out, hurrying along the rooftops. After a moment, however, Garrus could hear the now distinctive sound of a geth ship growing louder.
“Reinforcements. We’d better hurry.” Garrus called out, feeling something in his stomach sink as he considered the possible ramifications. If they sent a squad to target the bomb, everything they’d done so far would be for nothing. Like clockwork, Ashley’s voice crackled in their coms again.
“ Heads up, LT. We just spotted a troop shipping headed to your location .” At least she was still alive.
“ It’s already here. There’s geth pouring out all over the bomb site.” Came Kaidan’s panicked reply, and Shepard’s eyes went wide.
“Hold on, Lieutenant. I’m coming back to get you.” Was his immediate reply, and Garrus nodded. It was the right call, the bomb was the most important thing. If that didn’t go off, Saren was going to have an army of krogan at his back. That was the last thing they needed.
“ Negative. There’s just too many of them. I don’t think we can hold them off.” As the words washed over Shepard, he took a few steps forward, his eyes darting as he raced to think up a solution. Jane was pacing back and forth, a hand brought up to her chin in consideration. Wrex stood still next to Garrus, a calm, unreadable mountain except for the tightness in his jaw. “ I’m activating the bomb.”
“What?!” Jane yelled, turning to face her brother with wide eyes.
“Alenko, what are you doing?” Shepard demanded, his voice loud and heated.
“ I’m just making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what.” The determination in Kaidan’s voice was final, and Garrus felt himself take a sharp breath in. The Commander turned and walked to the railing, grabbing it tightly. Garrus wondered if it was for support. His own knees were starting to feel shaky. “ It’s done, Commander. Go get Williams and get the hell out of here.” Shepard turned slowly and looked each of them in the eyes, his face now devoid of emotion.
“ Screw that. We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Alenko.” Ashley snapped with her usual roughness, and Garrus would have smiled had the situation not been so serious. There was only time to get one of them, and it was going to have to come down to the numbers. To ruthless calculus.
Shepard looked up into the sky as if hoping the clouds would part, bestowing the answer upon him. But Garrus knew which decision he was going to have to make, they all did. Only one thing mattered.
“Alenko. Radio Joker and tell him to meet us at the bomb site.” The words left the Commander’s lips as though ripped against his own will, falling flat and heavy upon their ears.
“ Yes, Commander. I-”
“ You know it’s the right choice, LT.” Ashley’s voice broke slightly, betraying her strong facade as the bravado it was. Deep down, she must be terrified, knowing her fate was decided for her. Garrus shut his eyes, hanging his head, and silently asked the Spirits to watch over her. It had been some time since he’d honestly thought about them, but if ever there was a time, it was now.
“Send me.” Garrus’ eye snapped open, and he felt his heart thud loudly in his chest as he turned to lay eyes on a determined looking Jane.
“No.” Was Shepard’s immediate reply without even bothering to look at her.
“Why not? I’m an infiltration specialist, this is literally what I am trained for. You guys go back and protect the bomb, while I get up there without drawing attention to myself. I can get her out of there and get back to the bomb site in no time.”
“I said no! Letting you go would be a death sentence! ” Shepard shouted, rounding on her, his eyes wide with anger. Jane took a startled step backwards before squaring her shoulders. She took a step forward, her eyes narrowing.
“We don’t have time for this. You need to trust me."
"No. That's an order, lieutenant. " Her back went ramrod straight at the order, but her eyes narrowed. She was clearly battling with half a lifetime of military training.
"I can save her, John!"
“I’m not losing two of my men today. Get your ass in that elevator. Don’t make me carry you.” They stood there like that for a heartbeat, neither blinking or breaking eye contact. Suddenly, Shepard jerked forward as if to grab her arm, but Jane spun around and sprinted down the walkway toward the entrance to the AA tower.
“Jane, get back here NOW! ” Shepard screamed and took a few steps after her before stopping. She was almost to the door already, and it was clear she was much faster than the larger, more heavily armed Commander. “This is direct insubordination!” Garrus could hear the near panic lacing his words now. Without responding, she quickly palmed the door controls, darted through and leapt over the railing toward the elevator below. Shepard hesitated for a moment before turning toward the breeding facility elevator they’d taken before.
“ Fuck!” He roared as he took off, making the decision his head knew to be correct, even if his heart disagreed. Wrex followed at a trot, and Garrus felt himself hesitate, his feet as heavy as lead. “Come on, Garrus, we need to hurry.” Cursing under his breath, Garrus turned and ran after Shepard.
Returning to the bomb site was all a blur, Garrus felt like he was starting to tunnel vision. Was he in shock? What was even going on anymore? All he could do was numbly follow after Shepard, a voice niggling at him in the back of his head that he should have done… something. Anything! He’d just… let her run off. For what? Some half brained rescue mission? She’d refused to respond to Shepard’s attempts to hail her on the coms, and if Ashley’s silence was any judge, Garrus was almost willing to bet that Jane had set up a private com channel with her.
Even as they arrived and dove right into the battle with the geth around the bomb, Garrus felt as though he were on autopilot. He aimed, shot, returned to cover over and over, the thoughts in his brain finally giving over to white noise and the thudding of his heart in his ears. He barely registered Tali and Kaidan, each having sustained injuries as they attempted to hold the geth back and protect the bomb.
“Get down! Take cover!” He heard Shepard yell as they were suddenly bombarded with biotic attacks from above. “Saren’s here!” Garrus felt his jaw go slack as the white armored turian descended from the sky on some sort of hoverboard, his taloned hands glowing blue. Why now? Was this really happening? After everything that had happened, was it all to be undone now? Were they all going to die here when that bomb went off?
As they all dove into cover, Saren leapt down into the water. His eyes locked in on where Shepard had disappeared behind a pillar, and he strode forward with nonchalant purpose. He seemed content to talk at first, and Shepard did his best to get as much information out of him as possible. But Garrus could feel the tension emanating off the Commander in waves. They had so little time left.
The battle could only be described as desperate and messy. For a few minutes, it seemed like they had the upper hand, pushing Saren back and forcing him on the defensive. But Garrus felt like he blinked and suddenly, Saren was holding Shepard up by the neck, slowly choking the life out of him. Garrus raised his weapon, but the Commander’s struggling made it difficult to get a clear shot from his angle.
Without any warning, the bomb started to emit a loud, low, pulsing wail, causing Saren to look away just long enough for Shepard to raise his fist and deal him a blow to the side of the head. As Shepard landed with a splash in the water, Garrus and Wrex hurried over to him. Saren retreated to his waiting hoverboard, having understood the meaning of the bombs wailing. Garrus raised his pistol and fired off a few desperate shots as he escaped, but all in vain. Holstering his weapon, he looked to see that Shepard was okay before walking over to Tali and offering her a hand. She took it gratefully and he pulled her to her feet.
Shepard, who’d managed to get to his own feet, hurried over to Kaidan, and gave him a strained smile as he offered him a hand up. As if on cue, the Normandy appeared overhead, landing as close as it dared. After realizing the extent of Kaidan’s injuries, Shepard didn’t even hesitate as he slung the other man over his shoulder before turning toward the ship’s ramp.
“Move, move, move!” He yelled at them as they all took running, their feet splashing through the water. The ramp began to close before they had even fully cleared it into the cargo bay, and the Commander immediately put Kaidan down before dashing toward the elevator. “Joker, did Jane radio you for a pick up yet?” The door opened, and Garrus followed Shepard as he quickly entered before smashing the close button.
“Negative, Commander. But we need to get out of here. Fast.”
“Okay, bring us around to the AA tower, we’ll extract them and get out of here.”
“ No can do, Commander. We have like… seconds before we’re nothing but dust, and the action is still too hot over there.” The doors opened and Shepard sprinted toward the stairs, Garrus hot on his heels.
“We can’t just leave her, Commander.” Garrus hissed, but he knew it was futile. What was the point of picking them up if they all died in the explosion?
“I know. Shit .” Together they ran through the CIC into the cockpit, where Joker was navigating them away from the breeding facility, quickly ascending. Joker glanced back at them, seeming stuck between doing what he knew had to be done and waiting for orders from his commanding officer. Shepard, for what had to be the millionth time that day, stood there, torn.
“Commander…?” The anxiety in Joker’s voice was palpable as his fingers hovered over the controls.
“... Fuck! Get us out of here, Joker!” Shepard shouted, his voice cracking and Garrus could tell from the glassiness of his eyes that it reflected the breaking of his heart.
“All right, everybody, hang on!” The ship accelerated at what had to be its fastest pace, picking up speed at an unbelievable rate. “Detonation in 3…2…1-”
The light from the explosion behind them lit up the cockpit, but they were too far away to feel the reverberation from the shockwave. And yet, Garrus could have sworn he felt something hit him over the head as the realization set in: They were dead.
“Jane! Jane, come in! Damn it, Jane Shepard, if you don’t answer me, I swear to God… Ashley! Someone, answer me, God damn it!” Shepard’s attempts to hail either of them on the coms echoed in Garrus’ ears as if from down a tunnel.
Jane Shepard and Ashley Williams were dead.
Jane was dead.
Chapter 16: Part 1: Chapter 14
Summary:
In which Garrus makes an uncomfortable discovery.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 14
The Normandy SSV
They were dead.
She was dead.
It kept repeating itself in Garrus’ head over and over. He’d lost friends in battle before, he must have forgotten how painful it was, how the pain shot through your chest and made it hard to breathe.
“Commander, I-” Joker started, cut off as Shepard leaned forward suddenly, his hand grabbing onto the back of Joker’s chair. The Commander looked aimlessly at Joker’s controls as if he were looking for something to tell him he was mistaken, despite knowing better. Shepard showed no sign of having heard the pilot, his gaze gaining a far away look as though he was looking through the controls at something none of the rest of them could see.
After a moment of silence, Shepard seemed to regain a sliver of himself, straightening back up and taking a ragged breath as he ran a hand over the top of his head.
“I’m going to need a moment. I’ll be in my cabin. Joker, just-” He swallowed, his jaw getting tight as he looked up at nothing in particular. “Just get us out of here.” Shepard turned to leave, and Garrus struggled to find his voice.
“Commander-” Shepard stopped and turned back to face him.
“Yes, Garrus?” Though his eyes softened a bit as they fell on him, the Commander’s voice sounded so worn down and exhausted that Garrus faltered, unsure of what to say. What did one say in a situation like this? He couldn’t even begin to understand how the man felt. Garrus had lost a friend, a good one, but Shepard had just lost his last remaining family .
“I-” Suddenly, there was a crackle as the com sprang to life, and the whole room froze.
“- Ttzzz-mandy, do you -ttzzzt - I repeat, Normandy, do you read? Damn it, the blast must have taken out our coms. This tin can is a piece of shit.” The look of stunned disbelief that took over Shepard’s face was, Garrus knew, reflected upon his own as they both turned to stare at Joker, who was fiddling with the communication controls. “ Come in, Normandy. Please tell me you all made it out alive.” Jane. Garrus felt like the metal bands tightening around his chest vanished the moment her voice graced his ears. Sweet, sweet air flooded into his lungs. Shepard’s expression filled with wild, desperate hope.
“Holy shit! How are you still alive?!” Joker choked out, fighting a laugh of disbelief.
“Jane! Is that really you? Where are you?! We thought you were caught in the blast!” Shepard jerked forward on clearly unsteady legs, grabbing the pilot’s seat again and leaning forward to see the communications display.
“ Joh- Commander! Boy, am I happy to hear your voice. We’re okay, I have Williams here with me. We’re the only ones who made it out alive, but we’re grounded. Going to need a pick up ASAP .”
“Of course. Send us your location and hang tight. Sovereign is still in the area and we need to make sure we’re off his scopes before we attempt reentry. How did you escape the blast?”
“ That’s fine. Sending our location now… I can tell you more about it when we see you, but we managed to hitch a ride on a shuttle and made it out by the skin of our teeth. But the shockwave took us out and we crashed a few klicks out of the blast radius.”
“I’m happy to hear it. You are in so much trouble, Lieutenant, but I’ve never been happier to be pissed at you.” Garrus felt himself smile, though perhaps not quite as widely as the smile that graced the Commander’s face.
“ With all due respect, Skipper, if you want to kick her ass, you’ll have to go through me. I would be dead right now if not for her, I owe her my life.”
“Ashley! Okay, okay, fine. I’ll spare her, just this once, but only because I’m glad you’re both still alive.” As the conversation continued, Garrus felt almost giddy with relief and anticipation of seeing them alive and well. Once Sovereign and the remainder of the geth armada seemed to have left, Joker turned them around, heading back down toward the surface a ways out from the crater that had been Saren’s base.
When they landed, Garrus, Shepard, some of the ground team, and even the surviving salarian team were down in the cargo bay waiting for the door to open. For that matter, there seemed to be a fair amount of other personnel around.
As they descended the ramp, Garrus could see the crumpled remains of a shuttle, clearly it had had a rough landing. His eyes immediately sought and finally landed on the disordered red hair and smudged cheeks of his friend, and he took a hitched breath as emotion welled up in his chest. Spirits, he was happy to see her alive. For a few agonizing minutes, he had had to think the worst.
Shepard paused for a moment at the bottom of the ramp, and Jane’s expression was almost chagrined as she shrugged her shoulders slightly at him. He took off at a hurried trot, beelining straight for his sister, quickly wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. Jane’s arms came up around his waist, and they held onto each other for a moment before breaking away. Garrus joined them, followed by a few others.
“Don’t ever scare me like that again, please.” Shepard was saying as his hands came to rest on her shoulders, and she looked up at him in amusement.
“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try. I told you I could save her.”
“You were lucky, and we both know it.”
“Yeah, perhaps. But I’m good at being lucky.”
“Humph. Are you okay? Were you hurt at all?” He took half a step back, his eyes scanning her for any obvious injuries. She rolled a shoulder experimentally as she winced.
“Eh, nothing too bad. My bad shoulder is acting up a little like usual, but it’s nothing out of the ordinary. I think Ashley is a little worse for wear.” Jane turned to Ashley, who was a few steps behind her.
“I meant what I said, Skipper. I’m only alive because of her, she was able to carve an escape path for me.” Ashley said as she limped closer, bumping a fist against Jane’s shoulder in an affectionate manner. “Thanks, LT. I owe you one.”
“I’m going to need to start a ledger!” Jane laughed as she rubbed her shoulder.
“Ha, screw that, how about I just buy you a drink next shore leave.”
“Hm, maybe, except that I’m pretty sure my drinks will be covered.” With that, Jane’s green eyes finally met his, and Garrus felt his chest tighten all over again. Spirits, some professional he was, his emotions were all over the place. Coughing slightly, he took a moment to focus on keeping his subvocals as even as he could.
“I- uh, I’m happy you’re both okay.” He glanced away from those green orbs in embarrassment, the lameness of the statement causing his face to burn. What in the stars was wrong with him? Jane smiled and started toward the Normandy, slowing for a moment to knock her knuckles against his arm playfully, causing him to glance down at her. She pointed to her visor, a wide, cheshire cat grin splitting her face as her eyes crinkled. He didn’t need to check the numbers to see how far ahead she was, he knew perfectly well what the numbers were at this point. He’d been glancing at the little initials JS in his own visor incessantly for at least the past hour.
When they were finally all aboard and leaving the spirits-forsaken planet, the shipboard time said it was early morning. They went about the normal post mission routine, getting changed, visiting the medbay to tend to injuries, and cleaning their equipment. Without surprise, the ground team all hit their bunks shortly after, all except Shepard. He had a tendency to get right to the paperwork in order to send off reports as quickly as he could. The man was a machine sometimes, Garrus didn’t know how he managed it. By the time he fell into his own bunk, Garrus doubted he could have formed a full, coherent sentence, let alone a full report.
It was evening when most of them managed to pull themselves out of their bunks. As they sat around the mess, the remains of dinner littering the table before them, Garrus looked around at his crew mates with no small amount of wonder. It was a miracle they’d all made it off Virmire. Wrex was much the same as always, nothing seemed to shake the old man. But Liara, who had sustained a bad injury, was doing okay now. Of course it had been nothing Chakwas couldn’t handle, but for a while there, Garrus had been worried. Thank the spirits that they had met back up with the Normandy when they had.
Sitting beside Liara was Tali, who still looked exhausted, even after sleeping. She had been one of those less battered by the ordeal, but she was also probably the youngest, and besides Liara, the least accustomed to battle. Kaidan and Ashley, both having sustained injuries were also looking better, the latter seeming to glow with the joy of having survived. He knew she was a religious person, and though he knew next to nothing about human religions, he did know they believed in miracles. Ashley seemed to be all smiles this evening, even toward the non-human crew members. While she had dropped the hostility towards them fairly early on, it had been clear that she was slow to trust. Perhaps her close call with death had inspired a little clarity?
His eyes landed on Jane, and he quickly looked away with confusion. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with him, but it seemed like every time he looked at her it was like noticing he was standing on a ledge overlooking a pitfall. The bottom of his stomach seemed to give out, and something in his chest did a little summersault.
The evening was starting to get late, and he wasn’t entirely sure what the plan was. Generally after missions, the ground team was given some time to recuperate before being expected to return to their usual duties. Even though he had just slept for most of the day, he honestly felt like he could sleep most of the night, too.
Suddenly, there was a woosh of an opening door, and after a moment, Shepard joined them from his cabin.
“Hey there everyone, how are you all feeling?” He asked as he walked up to the table, and Garrus noticed idly that he was toting two boxes with him. After hearing a few murmured responses, Shepard nodded as he swung the two boxes up onto the table before him. The room went silent with curiosity, waiting for him to explain. “I’ve got a little present for you all, in light of recent events. I picked these up on the Citadel last time we were there and have been saving them for when we ‘ survived something that should have killed us ’, and today seemed like the perfect occasion. I know it’s a little against regulations, but oh well. What the brass doesn’t know won’t kill them.” Without further ado, Shepard opened the first box and revealed a few packs of beer. After a moment of stunned silence, a cheer went up around the room. Not just the ground team, but the other crew members currently off duty were all murmuring happily.
“Oh man, Skipper, you’re the best.” Ashley beamed as she leaned forward and plucked the first can out of the box.
“Perhaps, but don’t go overboard, guys.” Glancing over at Garrus, Shepard smiled. “I got the dual charillity stuff, so it should be fine for both of you.” He looked over at Tali, who perked up happily. “Okay guys, enjoy. We’ll have a meeting tomorrow to go over what we know so far and plan our next step. I’m going to hit the sack, I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Wait, you’re not joining us?” Kaidan asked, his head cocked to the side in concern.
“No, sorry guys. I’m absolutely exhausted, I need to hit the sack. But have a good time, you’ve earned it.” With a small wave, the Commander turned and headed back toward his cabin. Quickly, cans were plucked from the box and passed around. Garrus quickly decided that while it was far from being the best beer he’d ever tasted, that was vastly overshadowed by the comradery of being able to share them all together.
It felt like it wasn’t long before they were all starting to relax and the volume level in the room started going up. It wasn’t exactly what one would call a party, still being a military ship and all, but it was definitely starting to turn into what Garrus would classify as a ‘good time’. At some point, someone pulled out a pack of human cards, and a game started up amongst the empty cans now starting to dot the mess hall table.
Garrus, who didn’t particularly understand or enjoy the game quite yet, decided to sit it out and watch from where he leaned against the wall nearby with his drink. Most of the ground team was playing, however, besides Wrex. Jane leaned back in her chair, her feet propped up on the table, her beer on the floor next to her where she could lean down and grab it. Her cards were splayed out in front of her as she glanced down at them, a small, confident smile on her lips. Garrus only just managed to tear his eyes away from that smile as someone's voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Hey guys, room for one more?” He looked around as cheers erupted as Joker ambled into the room.
“Hey, Joker! What are you doing down here?” Someone called out in greeting.
“Thought I’d come have a drink, Shepard sent me a message a little while ago and told me there was a little party going on.” Space was made at the table, and he was dealt in just in time for the game to start. They played a few rounds, the drinks still flowing, and Garrus had to admit it was at least a fun game to watch. Or perhaps that was just the alcohol talking.
“Oh man, Joker, it’s a good thing you don’t usually make it to game night.” Kaidan bemoaned as Joker scooped another round of winnings into his own pile with a smug smile. “What are you even going to do with all that? I never see you going out when we have shore leave.”
“Ha! What, haven’t you heard about his collection ?” Ashley’s eyebrows wiggled in a suggestive manner as she grinned at the Lieutenant who just looked back at her with blank confusion. This caused a few chuckles from the soldiers around them.
“Hey now, that is a jealously kept secret. Don’t go blabbing all over the ship about it.” Joker shot back without any real acid. Garrus wasn’t sure what they were talking about, but he’d go as far to bet Joker was proud of this ‘secret’ of his, if his small, smug smile was anything to go off.
“Joker, I didn’t know you were a collector. I’m surprised, I didn’t realize that collecting tendencies were so common in humans. How big is your collection?” Liara asked innocently, causing Ashley to laugh.
“This little pervert here probably has the biggest collection of porn this side of the Terminus Systems. And it’s pretty diverse from what you’ve said.” Ashley glanced over at Joker, who just shrugged, his face still adorned with a smile.
“Hey, it’s called ‘Erotic Art’, thank you, and I do what I can.”
“Oh man, you have got to hook us up. Have you got any asari/human stuff?” Jenkins chirped as he wobbled a little in his seat. After a moment, he seemed to remember who he was sitting next to and guiltily looked over at Liara, who was looking at him with an unamused raised brow. “Um, sorry Dr. T’Soni…” He muttered, returning his eyes to his lap with shame, causing Wrex to chuckle and non-to-gently slap the back of his chair, causing the corporal to jump. Liara just rolled her eyes before returning her focus to her cards.
“Human, asari, salarian, krogan, I got it all. Turian, quarian, elcor, drell, volus, batarian, vorcha, even hanar.” Garrus couldn’t help his jaw dropping a little as the pilot nonchalantly detailed out his collection of porn. “And I have all the couplings, even the rarer ones. Salarian/krogan is probably one of the least common ones, the asari seem to be up for anything and anyone, and honestly I don’t think anyone enjoys batarian or vorcha stuff. But I even have quarian/volus, krogan/elcor, human/turian-”
“Wait, what? Human and turian? No way!” Ashley nearly spit out her drink and stared at Joker in disbelief.
“What?”
“Well, I mean, isn’t that kind of ridiculous? Are humans and turians even, you know, compatible like that?” Ashley asked, her voice incredulous. Someone snorted loudly in derision, and everyone turned to look at Jane, who had been silent for a while until then. She smiled as she took a sip of her beer.
“Of course we’re compatible.” The casual confidence in Jane’s voice caused more than one set of eyebrows to lift. “What? I mean, Jesus, we’re human. We’ll fuck anything with a hole or a shaft.” This caused a few chuckles, but Joker sat forward, his smile slightly wider now.
“Now, now, Lieutenant. You sound more than a little infomed on the topic. Why would that be?” Jane paused and took another sip before responding. Garrus found himself listening closely, suddenly intensely interested in the conversation, despite himself. He had never considered humans that way before, but surely some turians had, right?
“Didn’t Fornax do a First Contact issue? You yourself said that your collection covers that topic.”
“Ah, yes, but we all know how fake Fornax is, super over acted.” Joker scoffed off her answer, followed by a quiet “Oh man, really ?” from a disappointed Jenkins, along with a few chuckles. “No, no. Call it a hunch, but something tells me you have some first hand knowledge here.” The room was silent now, all eyes on Jane, who was silently staring Joker down, her face impassive. “Come on, Shepard, no point pretending to be a girl scout, out with it.” After another moment, Jane sighed and tipped back the rest of her drink before setting the empty can on the table.
“Fine, since you asked so nicely. A few years ago, Anderson recommended me for a training and observation program on Palaven.” Garrus froze, his eyes going wide. Jane had trained on Palaven? That explained a lot, she had a strange amount of knowledge about turians and their culture for a human. “He said it was one of the best experiences of his career and couldn’t recommend it highly enough. I ended up spending a couple of weeks training there, followed by a couple of weeks serving with a turian squad mopping up slavers in some outlying systems. It was rough going, high tension, very stressful. Alliance ships, you know how it is, we have pretty strong regulations against fraternization. But turian ships are a little more lax in that regard, and I think there’s a fairly universal cure for stress and tension…” She trailed off, a lazy smile and tilt to her head as she shrugged before crossing her arms, still leaning back in her chair. Garrus felt his breath hitch, his eyes glued to the human woman, his closest friend. She’d been with a turian before? That was something actual humans and actual turians could do, did do? He finally glanced away, his head spinning with thoughts he’d never entertained before.
“Oh my God, LT. You’re not serious. Oh my God, you are .” Ashley gasped, followed by laughter, hoots, and cat calls from some of the crew members. Kaidan looked distinctly uncomfortable as he looked down at his cards, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. Liara looked surprised, her eyebrows reaching upwards as her face flushed slightly. Wrex just laughed before elbowing Garrus roughly. Garrus glared at him without any heat, still somewhat preoccupied. Joker looked amazed for a moment before his grin reappeared, now looking like the cat who caught the… some sort of bird. Damn human idioms.
“Well, well, that was more than I suspected. You’re full of surprises, Shepard.”
“Wow, so, are you and that turian still together? Do you love him? … Or her?” Tali asked with a breathy sigh as she clasped her hands to her chest, causing Jane to bark a laugh in surprised amusement.
“ Love ? Oh jeez, no. It was just a little fun, a way to let off steam. I don’t know if I even remember his name.”
“Oh.” Tail deflated as she leaned back in her chair, clearly disappointed. Garrus, personally, felt a wave of relief. He had to get himself under control.
“I didn’t realize you swung that way.” Kaidan said offhandedly after a moment, but Garrus could tell that the words had been kept forcibly neutral. Was Kaidan unhappy to hear about Jane’s exploits? Suddenly, Garrus felt a hot, sharp prick of… jealousy? Spirits, he was absolutely losing his mind. But then he was thinking about her small, soft human body in the arms of some nameless, faceless turian and the feeling welled up in his chest again, and it became impossible to misunderstand.
Regardless, he did his best to squish the fiery, undesired feeling back down into the box it had popped out of, somewhat unsuccessfully. He was simply unhappy because he felt overprotective of her, she was his friend after all. He didn’t want her getting hurt, right?
“I don’t swing in any direction, Lieutenant. I like having a good time, I don’t really care about the details.” Jane shot back at Kaidan with narrowed eyes, and he looked away, unsure.
“Does the Commander know about your interesting conquests?” Joker asked, leaning back. The card game had slowed down to a crawl by this point, nearly forgotten.
“Uh, no . My brother and I keep our noses out of each other’s private affairs. We ask no questions, and get no uncomfortable answers.”
“So you wouldn’t know about his, uh, preferences. Or anything.” Liara asked, her face flushing as she looked away in embarrassment. Jane laughed before smiling at the asari in sympathy.
“No, not really, sorry.”
“Okay, but, seriously, did that turian actually find you attractive? No offense, LT, but I feel like they probably have different standards of beauty, right?” Ashley probed, her eyes flicking to Garrus, who found himself suddenly the very unwilling target of public inquiry. Quickly, he shrugged noncommittally, which seemed to placate the onlookers.
“Well, I didn’t get any complaints. Sure, we’re physically pretty different, but like I said, there wasn’t any issue.” Jane said as she leaned forward to pluck a card from the deck. She looked down at her cards, picked one out, and flung it down onto the table, ending her turn.
Garrus looked down at the pale skinned, slim but solidly built woman sitting before him. He’d known he was interested in her features before, but now he wondered if he’d been completely blind for the past weeks. Had it been more than idle interest? Was he attracted to Jane Shepard? This human ? Okay, he knew he was mildly obsessed with her hair, but had it grown into something more?
How long had it been since she’d begun making his heart beat a fraction faster the moment she entered the room? Since hearing her voice made his stomach drop through his feet? Since brushing up against her made his skin tingle?
“Okay, okay, but was it actually any good ? Just being compatible is one thing, but being enjoyable? That’s something different altogether.” Ashley declared, her skepticism clear. Jane paused for a moment, before her sly smile returned.
“At first, it was definitely a little awkward, but once we figured it out… I’m not going to say that he ruined human men for me, but damn . Ten out of ten, would recommend.” Her nonchalant response was met with another round of hoots and catcalls from the crewmates standing around the table. Garrus felt all the pieces fall into place as all of sudden he was picturing himself as the turian holding her close. Her arms wrapping around his waist as he pulls her close, his fingers coming up to run through her hair as he leans down to breathe her in. She whispers something in his ear with her low voice and he lifts his head, their eyes meeting as both lean in closer-
Wrex’s elbow jamming into his side brought reality slamming back into Garrus, and he looked around to realize that the party was coming to an end. The cards were being gathered up, the empty cans being returned to the now empty boxes. Garrus took a moment to calm his breathing and heart before moving to help with clean up. Bending down, he reached for a can that was discarded under the table only to bump hands with someone else reaching for it. Looking up, his blue eyes locked squarely with a pair of bright green ones. He felt his heart jump into his throat and his face flush hot as he ripped his hand away as though burned.
“I got this one, but thanks, Garrus.” Jane offered with a smile, grabbing the can before withdrawing from under the table. Just the sound of his name on her lips was enough to send a shiver down his spine.
Shit, he was absolutely infatuated, wasn’t he? How had this so completely taken him by surprise? Getting back to his feet, he looked up to see Liara glance at him with a quick, knowing smile, and he felt himself die a little with mortification.
As the room slowly drained, Garrus decided that a strategic retreat was in order, and started making his way to the bunks. But not before he was, once again, physically assaulted in the hall by the ship’s resident krogan with a slap on the back. With a very put-upon sigh, Garrus turned to face him with a deadpan stare.
“Yes, Wrex?” He hoped that the monotone to his voice got the point across, but Wrex’s grin didn’t slip an inch.
“I can’t say much for her taste, but I guess she’s not as far out of your league as I thought.” Garrus felt his eye twitch, and sighed in exhausted resignation as he turned to walk through the door to the barracks.
“ Good night , Wrex.” The krogan’s laughter chased after him as the door closed.
Chapter 17: Part 1: Chapter 15
Summary:
In which Garrus grapples with some issues.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 15
The SSV Normandy
Hours later, Garrus still lay in his bunk, eyes wide awake and mind methodically working through the last few weeks of interactions with Jane as he rolled from side to side trying to get comfortable. The sounds of sleep around him did nothing but make him more frustrated, and finally, with a groan, he flung his feet out of bed and onto the cold floor. Quietly, he made his way out of the room and down the hall to the quiet, empty mess hall. The night shift crew generally kept to the CIC and engineering, so he wasn’t terribly worried about being bothered as he grabbed a bottle of water and sat down at the table.
What, exactly , were his feelings for Jane? He admired her, sure. She was a fantastic soldier, clever with her hands and good with tech, and kept revealing new skills the more he got to know her. He enjoyed her company, she was witty and intelligent, and her confidence was infectious. He trusted her, there was no one he’d rather have at his back, she would always go out of her way for her teammates. None of this was particularly new to him.
But apparently, he was also attracted to her. To a human. To humans in general, though? Or just her? With a sigh, he figured there was only one way to figure that out. Pulling up his omnitool, he accessed the extranet and started a quick search. Feeling awkward, he furtively checked to make sure the room was, in fact, empty. Finally, he started a pretty vanilla search for human pornography and started flicking through the results with mixed feelings. Besides filling in some of his knowledge gaps regarding the general physiology of humans, he didn’t feel much interest. At least, not until he came across one model with pale ivory skin, forest green eyes, and fiery red hair, and for a split second he could imagine it was her .
As his heart sped up, his face flushed and he quickly put away his omni tool. So, he hadn’t developed a human fetish, at least. However, he was definitely attracted to one human in particular, there was no getting around that, apparently. But what did he want from this? From her? Was this a ‘have a fun romp in bed and get it out of your system’ kind of infatuation, or something more? Suddenly, he was imagining introducing his father to his human girlfriend and he had to jam his jaw shut to stop the manic laugh that wanted to burst out.
How did the physical aspect of it all work, anyway? Joker said it was one of the more rare pairings, but there had to be stuff out there he could look at, figure out if it was really something he wanted to pursue. Hadn’t they mentioned an issue of Fornax?
A few more quick extranet searches and he realized that there was, in fact, some material out there, but he could see what they meant about it seeming a little fake. Every image seemed to display the same stereotypes: a small, soft, submissive looking human woman being overpowered, taken , by the larger, strong, dominant turian man. Was this what human women preferred sex to be like? He tried to imagine Jane like that and had to laugh. Besides when rank was pulled, Jane was anything but submissive. Honestly, that was part of what he liked about her. She had so much spirit, so much confidence, it just oozed off her.
This train of thought led him down a whole rabbit hole of research into what human women’s preferences were, specifics of their biology, and human courting and mating rituals. Very quickly, he realized he was completely in over his head. There was far too much information out there, and sorting through it all was going to take hours. With a groan, he shut off his omni tool and leaned back in his chair, pinching his eyes shut in frustration.
“What am I doing? This is insane.” Garrus muttered to the empty room. After sitting with no one but himself for company for awhile, he stood up and went back to bed.
The next few days were a little rough. He found it agonizing to be in Jane’s presence for a million different reasons. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, it was like she’d infected his brain, she’d climbed right in and made herself at home. Being around her caused his heart to pound in his chest, and his ability to speak coherently flew out the window. Absolutely terrified he was going to do something stupid, he found it easier to just avoid her when he could. He felt like a preteen with his first big crush, and it was absolutely mortifying.
Which was how he found himself in the CIC, a place that was not his usual stomping ground during his time off. He ended up in the cockpit looking out the windows silently. After a few minutes, Joker turned in his seat to glare at him.
“Can I help you with something, Vakarian?” The pilot asked, his voice sarcastic and peeved at the intrusion, and Garrus sighed.
“No, just stretching my legs. Need a hand with anything up here or are you all good?” Joker raised an eyebrow at him, before turning back to the controls.
“Nope, all good here.” The silence stretched on, and Garrus felt the awkwardness building to the point of pain. He flailed about for a conversation topic, dreading going back to the lower decks in case he ran into her . After a few more moments, he finally landed on a rumor he’d encountered soon after joining the Normandy.
“So, tell me, is it true you stole the Normandy before the Eden Prime mission?” Joker looked back at him, this time his eyebrows raised in surprise and, if he wasn’t mistaken, pride. Bingo .
“Who told you about that ?” Joker asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.
“Oh, just some rumor I overheard. Takes balls to steal a military vessel, perhaps even quads to steal a brand new, state of the art stealth ship.” Garrus felt some self satisfaction as Joker grinned at him before turning back to his work at the controls.
“Well, did you hear that that was how I got this posting? One of your turian generals, Invectus, took a shine to me after that and insisted that I be made the pilot. Anderson agreed, and here we are.”
“No shit?” Garrus felt legit surprise at that. “Now this I’ve got to hear.”
In the following days, the cockpit became a regular hide out for him during his off hours. He had to be careful, as Jane had a tendency to visit Joker up there, too. But generally she made that part of her work hours, as she helped with maintenance on the controls and other equipment. She and Joker had been fast friends from the start, and the more he thought about it now, Garrus wondered if this was part of the reason why he’d avoided the cockpit and Joker as much as he had. Had he been jealous of Jane’s other good friend aboard the ship? Perhaps.
It was about a day before their arrival at the Citadel to meet with the council when his fledgling friendship with Joker took an unexpected and uncomfortable turn.
“ So ,” Joker started after a few minutes of companionable silence, “Did you know that I have access to all the communications coming and going through the ship?” Garrus turned to the pilot, confusion written over his face. It seemed like something of a non sequitur, a random topic to bring up, but he decided to see where Joker was leading.
“No, I didn’t. Don’t we have a communications officer?”
“Sort of, yes, but it all passes by me, too. I’m in charge of getting uplinked to the comm buoys when we’re far enough out from the relays. That’s when we get the data dumps and I upload any outgoing information. But you see, here’s the secret.” Joker grinned, looking at him with an almost predatory gleam. “If I do a little digging, I can glean all sorts of nifty information before that upload. I learn all sorts of interesting things about the crew.”
“Wait, you read our mail?” Garrus’ eyes shot open in surprise. He was pretty sure that was illegal.
“No, no, nothing like that. All messages are encrypted, I can’t see anything but data packages. However, I can see traffic from open channels, the ones that nobody encrypts, game downloads, online purchases… extranet searches …” With a sinking sensation in his gut, Garrus was glad he wasn’t drinking anything at that moment, else he probably would have choked out of shock.
“I- what?! Ahhh…” Garrus did a quick mental recap of the various searches he’d conducted over the past week since they’d left Virmire, and after a moment, he groaned. “So, should I just jump out the airlock now, save myself the embarrassment?” He grumbled as he slumped into one of the empty seats. Joker laughed before returning his eyes to the controls before him. “So, is this, what… blackmail or something?”
“No, no nothing like that. I just thought your preferences lately have been, I don’t know… Interesting.” After a few minutes of mortified silence, Joker continued. “You really like her, don’t you?” Garrus turned away to look out the window, refusing to answer, his complete mortification gluing his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Look, your secret is safe with me. I’m not going to tell anyone. Well, I’m pretty sure half the crew knows about…” He waved his hand in the air vaguely before continuing, “But I promise I won’t go blabbing about your extranet shenanigans.”
“Gee, thanks. ” Garrus sighed as he flicked his mandibles in irritation.
“I mean, you are kind of obvious.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, sorry Casanova.”
“Huh?”
“Sorry, just a human reference. Does she know how you feel?”
“Are you trying to play matchmaker or something?”
“Pfft, hardly. Just being nosy, that’s all.”
“ I’m not even sure how I feel, there’s not really anything to tell.” Garrus snorted in derision.
“I think you should tell her.” After a moment of awkward silence, Joker turned to find Garrus staring at him. “What? I’m just sayin’, what’s the worst that could happen? She’s not really the sort of person to be cruel about stuff like that.”
“Well, first off, I know almost nothing about human relationships and honestly, the extranet has been no help, quite the opposite. Everyone contradicts each other.”
“Yeah, well that's par for the course with humans.” It was Joker’s turn to snort in amusement. After a moment, Garrus continued.
“I really don’t want this to turn into some sort of interspecies awkwardness thing. I value my friendship with her too much to mess that up because I made a stupid mistake.”
“Well, maybe I can help with that.” Garrus raised a skeptical eyebrow at him.
“Are you planning on becoming my human culture tutor or something?” Garrus asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“No, but I can probably send you some pertinent information, both about human courtships and about… other stuff. Like I said, I have a pretty sizeable collection.” Joker pointed out with a grin, causing Garrus to laugh, feeling some of his tension melt.
“I would appreciate that. But if you say anything to anyone about this, you’ll be the one becoming intimately acquainted with the airlock.”
“Yeah, yeah, you and your stick up your ass.”
“My what ?” Garrus stared at him, wondering if his translator was on the fritz.
“Human phrase, don’t worry about it.”
As Garrus finished drying up in the showers, he took a look down at his omni-tool. They were due to dock at the Citadel in just a few hours, but from what he understood, they were not making time for shore leave. The plan was to convince the council to send a fleet to stop Saren at Ilos, or failing that, to convince them to send Shepard in after him. He felt nervous about how it was going to go down, however. He’d never been able to shake the feeling that the Council didn’t want to convict Saren.
After redressing, he wrapped his towel around his neck, grabbed his bag, and jumped as the door opened all on his own before he could reach for it.
“Hey there, Big Guy.” In the doorway stood Jane, her arms crossed and brow raised with no smile in sight. “ Long time, no see .” Garrus swallowed, looking down to notice she was wearing nothing but a tank top and a very short pair of shorts. The outfit left very little to the imagination, but it certainly didn’t stop his from trying. Glancing away, he coughed before replying with an even voice.
“What do you mean? I saw you earlier when we were both working down in the cargo bay.” He could feel her eyes on him and his mandibles fluttered nervously.
“I mean in the morning, before work hours. You haven’t been coming down early like usual.” Garrus had nothing to say to that, the accusation was true. After a moment, she sighed and stepped into the cramped bathroom before closing the door and leaning up against the sink. “Sorry for cornering you in here, but you’ve been avoiding me.”
“I have not.”
“ Yes you have.” She snapped in a voice that brooked no argument and stared at him with deadpan eyes. Then she sighed again, and her shoulders seemed to relax slightly. “Look, I want to apologize.” He looked up at her with surprise. Did she somehow know about… whatever it was that he felt for her? Had Joker blabbed on him?
“Apologize? For what?”
“For talking about all that the night after Virmire, about the turian I slept with. Between the high of having survived, and then the alcohol, well, it wasn’t very classy of me.” He felt himself relax slightly, finally able to look her in the eyes. Spirits , they were so green…
“You don’t have to apologize for that.”
“Well, I made you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to objectify you in any way. I know how it feels, and it sucks.”
“You don’t ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes… But never uncomfortable.” He couldn’t help the smile as he gazed at her, feeling his heart skip a beat.
“Nervous? How so?” This time, her raised brow was accompanied by her provocative smile as she crossed her arms, which only helped to emphasize her breasts. And as he now understood those to be somewhat important to human sexuality… Swallowing again, he decided the conversation needed to be derailed before he completely put his foot in his mouth.
“Weeeell, you’ve demonstrated on numerous occasions that you can wipe the floor with my face with both arms tied behind your back, and given that I like my face the way it is, that’s enough to make me nervous.” Garrus shot back at her with a grin, deciding that getting back to their usual banter was probably the only way to handle this with his pride intact.
“Don’t worry, I’ll spare your devilish good looks,” She laughed as she pushed back against the sink, walking back toward the door, “But only if you stop avoiding me. It gets boring around here without you.”
“Okay, point taken. I am the most interesting person on this tin can, afterall.” This caused her to laugh again, and he took a moment to bask in the warmth of the sound.
“So you forgive me for being an ass?”
“There’s nothing to forgive, we’re all good.” Jane grinned at him before turning and leaving, and Garrus couldn’t help but watch the sway of her hips as she walked away. Spirits , he was a lost, hopeless cause.
Chapter 18: Part 1: Chapter 16
Summary:
In which Garrus participates in light treason.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 16
The Citadel
“You have got to be shitting me.” Jane sneered under her breath from beside Garrus as they stood off to the side in the Council’s audience hall yet again. “Fucking idiots. Everyone is going to die and it will be their fault.” Cold rage seemed to emanate from the human woman as the ground team stood around Shepard, listening as he explained the Normandy’s current status.
“Can Udina even do that? Ground the Normandy? You’re a Spectre , he’s just the human ambassador. Surely he has no jurisdiction to stop you from doing what you see fit?” Kaidan protested, his thoughts joined by murmurs of agreement from others.
“Well, if I wanted to purchase my own ship, I could probably leave, no problem.” Shepard explained evenly, “The Nomandy, however, still belongs to the Alliance, and you three ,” He gestured to Jane, Ashley, and Kaidan, “Along with the rest of the crew still aboard, you’re all Alliance, too. If the Alliance says you can’t leave, then that’s that.”
“So, what? We’re just going to sit here and twiddle our thumbs?” Ashley protested, frustrated outrage painting her face. Garrus saw similar expressions of disgruntlement coloring the faces of the rest of the team, as well. Had they really come this far, fought this hard, for nothing? Was Sovereign really going to get away with whatever it was they were planning to do with the conduit while they sat around on the Citadel?
“I don’t know.” Shepard sighed, raising a hand to his face in exhaustion. “Let’s head back to the Normandy, see if we can think up some sort of battle plan.” Silently, they all nodded and fell in with him and he turned to leave.
“Okay, so let’s get you your own ship, then. If you’re allowed to leave, then we should do what we can to chase after Saren.” The familiar voice drifted down the hall as soon as the elevator door opened, and Garrus tried not to think about the sudden thud of his heart in his chest as he recognized the speaker.
“Jane, I don’t think that will work. Plus, I’d be leaving you all behind.” He turned the corner and paused as he saw Jane and the Commander standing near the lockers in the mess hall, apparently in a heated discussion about their next steps.
“Well, I’d go with you, and I know Garrus will go with you, as well as Tali, Wrex, and Liara. The Alliance has no say in what they choose to do. The rest of the crew, I guess they just stay here in case the Citadel really is attacked.”
“I don’t know, Jane. Without the Normandy’s stealth systems, I don’t think we’d stand a chance of sneaking past Sovereign and the geth, and making it down to the surface.” From where he stood, Garrus watched as the two stood there, silent and glum as they both stared holes through the floor in frustration. After a moment, Jane’s voice broke the silence.
“It can’t end like this, John. We’ve come so far, done so much. All for what?”
“I know.”
“We can’t let him win.”
“I know.”
“Everyone’s going to die if we can’t figure this out.”
“ I know .” Shepard brought his hand up to rest upon his sister’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “There’s an answer out there, and we’ll find it. You just have to have faith.” Jane’s eyes squeezed shut, a pained expression on her face for a moment before she seemed to relax. She gave a quick nod before looking up at her brother.
“I know. You’re right.” She opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a voice over the intercom.
“ Sorry to interrupt .” Came Joker’s voice, “ Got a message from Captain Anderson .”
“Forward it to me.” Shepard instructed, removing his hand from Jane’s shoulder as he pulled up his omni-tool. Jane moved along side him, watching over his shoulder as he pulled up the message. Garrus chose that moment to join them.
“Anything interesting?” He asked, watching as two sets of human eyes lifted to watch him enter the room. He looked from one to the other, his own eyes resting upon Jane’s green a half beat longer than strictly necessary. His belly did a treacherous little flip as she grinned.
“Suit up, Garrus.” Came his Commander’s instructions, a hint of excitement in his voice, “Looks like things might just get interesting after all.”
Garrus didn’t really know what to expect from their unexpected meeting with Anderson in Flux. Though they had had some run-ins since he joined up with Shepard, he’d never really had a chance to get to know the older human officer. He did know some about him from new clips over the years, but not much that he remembered off the top of his head. But he seemed like a genuine, albeit hard, man. He had clearly seen action, experienced hardships, and come through it all a wiser man, rather than a spiteful one. Garrus could respect that.
Regardless, he had his reservations when they sat down with him in a back corner of Flux, the rhythm and bodies undulating around them. There was probably very little in this man’s power to help them, and Garrus wasn’t sure he’d have trusted him if not for the Shepards’ clear affection for the older man. He thought back to Jane’s story about how Anderson had helped get them off the streets and into the Alliance, and added in the fact that he knew Shepard had served under him prior to being stationed on the Normandy. Given Anderson’s outspoken views against Saren, Garrus decided to keep an open mind going into the conversation.
As they settled in at the table across from the older human, Garrus glanced at the two Shepards’ and felt warmth start to creep up his neck as he noticed the fond smile Jane wore as they exchanged greetings. Garrus wondered idly if the Captain had become something of a father figure to them, and couldn’t help but smile at the thought.
“-if we override the ambassador’s order we can get them to bring the Normandy back on-line.” Garrus’ attention shot back to Anderson as he finally processed the direction of the conversation. He felt his eyes grow wide as the word’s meaning set in. “You can be in the Terminus Systems before anyone even knows you’re gone.” There was silence at the table as the suggestion sunk in.
“If we steal the Normandy ,” Shepard paused, looking Anderson directly in the eye, “You’re the one left holding the bag.”
“And if Saren finds the Conduit, life as we know it is over. The Reapers will destroy us. Humans, asari, everybody!” Anderson shot back at him, his eyes narrowing. “You’re the only one who can stop him, Shepard. So I’ll do whatever it takes to get you on the Normandy and off this station.” Garrus felt his eyes linger on the human Captain, reevaluating his initial impressions of the man. This man who would consign himself to the Alliance’s wrath for assisting the Normandy in its quest for the galaxy’s salvation.
“We’re not going to leave you hanging out to dry, Anderson. That helps no one.” Jane interjected, her voice sharp as crossed her arms from where she stood behind her brother.
“What’s your plan, exactly?” Shepard leaned back, crossing his arms as he tilted his head curiously. Anderson smiled as he leaned forward.
“I can unlock the Normandy from one of the consoles in the Citadel control center. You’ll have a few minutes before anyone realizes what’s happened.” Garrus felt his stomach sink as the words settled on him, his mind racing.
“That’s a restricted area,” Garrus pointed out as he stepped forward, keeping his voice as low as he could in the thrumming club, “It’s patrolled by armed guards. How are you going to get in?” Three pairs of human eyes turned to him, but he kept his eyes trained on the Captain. Garrus quickly visualized the layout of the control tower and the guards stationed there. Without some sort of extreme distraction, he wasn’t sure even he could manage a stunt like that. In one piece.
“Leave that to me.” Anderson retorted as he narrowed his eyes, “Just make sure you’re in the Normandy when the systems come back on-line.”
“You’re going to get yourself killed!” Jane shot back at him, slapping her hand down on the table, causing it to rock.
“There has to be another way.” Shepard raised his hand in a gesture for Jane to stand down before turning back to Anderson.
“Well,” Anderson sat back, bringing a hand up to his chin in contemplation, “Ambassador Udina issued the lockdown order. If I can hack into the computer in his office, maybe I can override it.” There was another moment of silence as they all considered the new plan.
“He’s not going to just let you waltz into his office and use his computer, Anderson.” Jane muttered and Shepard nodded in agreement.
“Hopefully, he won’t be there. If he is, I’ll-” He floundered for a moment, waving his hand airily, “I’ll just have to think of something.”
“If you got caught, which you probably would, no offense Sir, you’d be charged with treason, a capital offense.” Jane pointed out as she stepped forward to place her hands on the table, leaning forward.
“I agree, we need you to be in a position to help direct the fleet in Saren really does attack the Citadel. We can’t afford to have you end up in lock down for picking a fight with the Ambassador.” Shepard crossed his arms, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.
“I’ll do it.” Garrus wasn’t sure why he was surprised as Jane’s words fell, honestly. But he was. Everyone turned to face her. “I’ll do it, it makes sense. I can get in and out of there unseen, and if Udina is there, I can handle him quietly. I can also probably hack the system faster than you could, Anderson. Once again, no offense.”
“None taken, you’re probably right. You’re much better with technology than this old soldier.” Anderson muttered with a crooked smile as he crossed his arms.
“Jane,
no
. If anyone saw you, you’d be arrested. I won’t let you take that chance.”
“Commander, it’s our best bet. If we’re stealing the Normandy, I’m already disobeying orders at best, deserting at worst. What’s one more charge against me? In for a penny, in for a pound. This way, Anderson is still clean.”
“Would you be able to make it back to the Normandy in time before we leave?” Jane seemed to consider this for a moment, before nodding.
“I… think so. If Anderson can help with a diversion, and possibly with some help from Tali in scrambling security and communications, I should be able to high tail it back to the dock before anyone notices something’s wrong.”
“If you think you can handle it, that’s probably our best bet.” Anderson nodded, his face thoughtful. Shepard seemed torn still, but finally he took a deep breath and nodded.
“I don’t like it, but if it’s what has to be done, then let’s get to it.”
Garrus couldn’t help the anxiety bubbling up in his chest as they parted ways with Jane before heading back to the docks. He trusted in her abilities, hell, he knew she could wipe the floor with him. He knew she was more than capable of sneaking into the ambassador’s office. But these weird, new feelings he was harboring made everything feel… different somehow. Jane was no longer just a crewmate, or even just a friend.
She was–
“Garrus.” His head shot up and he looked at Shepard in confusion. “You coming?” Reality returned as he snapped out of his thoughts. Taking a breath, he stepped out of the elevator and followed after Shepard as he headed toward the Normandy’s airlock.
As they entered the CIC, the Commander beelined straight for his XO, Pressly, and started a quiet, hurried conversation as he grabbed a datapad to pull up some information. Garrus followed after him, albeit at a slower pace. Soon, Pressly was scurrying away to disseminate orders throughout the deck, and Shepard turned to head toward the cockpit, gesturing for Garrus to follow.
As Shepard quickly explained the results of their meeting to Joker, Garrus’ thoughts returned to the events currently playing out in the embassies. He knew Jane was trained in infiltration and subterfuge, but he hadn’t had much chance to see her actually utilize those skills. Occasionally there was need for them in their battles, but she’d often been sent ahead alone. She generally seemed to be such a force of nature, the kind of person who faces the world head on with no apologies. It was hard to think of her as the kind of person who could go unnoticed. His eyes had been drawn to her from the start, if he was being honest with himself.
“Intercom’s on, you’re up, Commander.” Joker muttered and Shepard leaned forward over the pilot’s seat. He took a deep breath before he started.
“Listen up, Normandy. As you may be aware, we’ve been grounded until further notice, which has effectively stalled our mission to beat Saren to the conduit. Lieutenant Shepard is currently hacking the ambassador’s computer and will shortly be unlocking our systems, allowing us to leave and continue the hunt.” Shepard paused, allowing the words to settle before he continued.
“Right now, you have a choice. If you choose to stay, we will be disobeying direct orders and stealing the Normandy.”
“Wouldn’t be my first time…” Joker muttered under his breath, causing Shepard to roll his eyes. Garrus noticed his small smile, though.
“Between now and the time we leave the dock,” Shepard continued, “You may choose to leave and return to the Citadel, no questions asked. I will not force anyone to commit this crime, the choice will be yours, and I will not judge you. But the mission ahead of us may be the difference between life or death for every person in this galaxy. The Reapers are coming, and if we don’t stop Saren, they will kill everyone we love. They will have no mercy.” Once again, Shepard paused to let the words sink in, and Garrus could feel the weight of them upon his own shoulders. Finally, Shepard took another deep breath.
“The choice is yours. Either way, it has been an honor serving with each and every one of you.”
The cockpit was silent after that, no one moved except to look down at the holodisplay sitting before Joker as it glared an angry red up at them. The minutes dragged on, and Garrus wasn’t sure how long they stood there just staring at it. He didn’t need to turn to see that not a single soul fled through the airlock. He’d known they wouldn’t.
The holodisplay remained red, and the tension in the room continued to climb minute by minute like the late day heat in the height of a stifling summer. Slowly, Garrus could feel it tightening around his chest, clenching around his belly, causing his limbs to feel fidgety and restless.
They seemed to edge closer to the glowing red display, the same questions racing through their minds. Had she made it into the embassies? Had she encountered resistance, unforeseen difficulties? Had she been caught? They had agreed on radio silence until the deed was done and she could make her get away, but it made for an anxious wait in the meanwhile.
When it finally came, the flash of green of the lock disengaging was like a cool summer rainstorm, breaking the heat and delivering a much needed breath of relief throughout the room. As the Normandy’s systems came back online, the nervous energy in the room evaporated as the tension suddenly drained out of them.
“ Shepard to Normandy, systems should be good to go.” Jane’s voice came through the com a minute or two later. “ Everything went smoothly, thanks to Tali’s security hack. In and out, no problems. Anderson is heading off an interference now, and I’m booking it back to the dock. ETA in… ten minutes.”
“I’ve got a chocolate bar here that says you can make it in nine.” The Commander grinned as he leaned over the com display, crossing his arms. Garrus could hear the grin in Jane’s voice as she replied.
“ Oh, you’re on, Boss.”
Notes:
Love to anyone who guesses the reference in this chapter's summary.
Chapter 19: Part 1: Chapter 17
Summary:
In which Garrus comes to a conclusion.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 17
The SSV Normandy
The moment the airlock closed, Garrus could feel the soft jerk underfoot as the Normandy detached from the dock and pulled away. After a few moments, the airlock door opened, and Jane strode out, a self satisfied smirk on her face as she turned to face them. As soon as her eyes landed on the Commander, her smile widened as she placed one hand on her hip and she held the other out expectantly.
“8 minutes, 47 seconds. Gimme my chocolate.” She demanded, and Shepard laughed as he crossed his arms, shifting his weight to the side with a lift of one eyebrow.
“Well done, Jane. It’s down in my quarters, come on.” He started toward the CIC before turning back to the pilot. “Joker, set a course for Ilos, double time. We have a lot of time to make up.”
“Aye, aye, Commander.” Garrus watched as the two Shepards made their way toward the crew deck before turning back to watch through the windows as the Citadel wards rushed past them. As the station disappeared behind them, he finally turned to leave. He opened his mouth to offer a farewell to Joker, but was interrupted.
“It’s weird, isn’t it? Here we are, rushing headlong into the unknown. It feels… I don’t know, like a climax of sorts. We’ve been building up to this for so long.” Garrus watched the pilot for a moment as his hands flitted over the controls. He felt a small smile creep onto his face.
“Are you feeling nervous, Joker?”
“What, me? No. Of course not. But I can see why people might be.” Joker replied too quickly, his eyes flicking to Garrus quickly before returning to his screens. “I’ll tell you one thing, though. I’m betting you’ll see more than a few broken regulations in the next few days. Nothing makes a man brave quite like numbered days.” Garrus chuckled as he bid Joker farewell and made his own way down to the crew decks.
But in the days to come, Joker’s words lingered in the back of his mind. The Normandy was eerily quiet as they made their way toward the Mu Relay, people seemed to speak in hushed voices as if they were nervous to disturb the calm before the storm. Garrus noticed more than one off duty crewman with a bottle of something they shouldn’t have aboard, as well as couples sneaking off to quiet corners to catch a few moments of privacy while they could. It was as if people were trying to take advantage of the time before they flung themselves into the unknown, just as Joker had said.
And Garrus couldn’t blame them. Every time he saw Jane, all his weird, unnamed feelings that he’d been harboring seemed to itch beneath his skin, yearning to crawl out and breathe the light of day. To be seen, to be known. To be acknowledged.
He wanted to hold her close, he wanted to lose himself in her eyes, he wanted to run his fingers through her hair, he wanted to hear her voice whispered in his ears, he wanted to press his forehead to hers and feel the warmth of her skin against his. The closer they got to the relay, the more insistent the desires got, the more they demanded to be known, the more they screamed to be reciprocated. He tried sating them the best he could by spending as much of his time with her as he could, but more and more, he needed her to know.
He needed to know if he… If they… If anything could come of these feelings.
Which was how he found himself laying in his bunk a few hours prior to their arrival at the Mu Relay, seriously considering just… telling her. Like Joker had originally suggested. Was he crazy to consider it? Probably, but it seemed like the entire ship was filled with a low key frantic energy and Garrus was not immune.
He stood up, took a deep breath, and nodded his head. What was the worst that could happen? Maybe she wouldn’t be interested, but she wasn’t the sort of person to be rude about it. Possibly she’d be interested in at least a night spent together, as he knew she wasn’t opposed to sleeping with a turian, after all. And maybe that would get whatever this was out of his system. But at best? Just maybe… Just maybe there could be something between them. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he even wanted. But perhaps they could figure it out together.
Taking another breath, he left the barracks in search of her. The crew deck was quiet except for the hint of low voices in the mess, and if he wasn’t mistaken, the one voice he sought was amongst them. As he rounded the corner, though, he froze.
Standing near the lockers, the only ones in the room, were Jane and Kaidan. Kaidan took a step closer to her as Garrus watched, his small smile tender as he took her hand. Garrus felt his blood run cold as he watched the two of them standing there, together.
“It’s just… You plan a career, you focus, and then suddenly, the world might be about to end, and it’s too late to… find someone.” Kaidan murmured as he looked down at her, his eyes crinkling.
“I- What are you getting at, Kaidan?” Jane breathed, her face turned so that Garrus couldn’t make out her expression. Kaidan sighed before continuing.
“What I’m saying is that… I have feelings for you, Jane. I have for a while now.” The room was silent except for the ringing in Garrus’ ears as the words hit him like a punch to the face. “I want to understand what this is between us… and make it real.”
Kaidan and Jane stood there, unmoving, and Garrus stepped back behind the corner slowly, leaning back against the wall. A vice was seizing around his chest and his heart seemed to be sitting somewhere in his throat. How had he never noticed something between the two of them? How had he been so blind? Had he only seen what he’d wanted to see? Had he been so fixated, so obsessed with Jane that he never stopped to actually notice her relationships with other people on the ship? The silence ground on, echoing down the halls, and Garrus slowly died of mortification. He didn’t want to hear any more, he should just leave, he should just-
“I’m sorry, Kaidan. But I think we should just keep it professional.” Jane’s quiet reply came, and Garrus’ eyes snapped open. Slowly, he pushed off from the wall and glanced back into the mess hall to see that Jane had pulled her hand away from Kaidan’s grasp and had taken a step back. The silence that followed was awkward as Kaidan looked down and shut his eyes, a pained expression on his face.
“Right. Hm. Well, not the answer I was hoping for.”
“Everythings just… Complicated.” She sighed before continuing, “I know everyone is throwing caution to the wind right now, but that’s not what I’m looking for right now, nor am I looking for an actual relationship-”
“No, no, I understand. It’s okay.” Kaidan interrupted as he took a step back, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Look, thanks for hearing me out. I’m going to get going, I’ve got work to catch up on. You know how it is, mission reports and… what not.” Slowly, he turned and headed toward the other stairwell toward the CIC, and Garrus felt the breath he’d been holding escape in a long sigh. The tension drained out of him like a sudden gust of wind, both the new dread and the fervor he’d felt earlier, leaving him feeling weirdly empty.
With a final glance back at Jane, who hadn’t moved from her spot by the lockers, Garrus let himself savor the flutter in his chest that he always felt as his eyes lingered on her. Then he turned and left back toward the barracks with the new taste of bittersweetness on his tongue. He’d worked up the courage to tell him how he felt about her, only to learn she wasn’t looking for that in her life right now. But at least, he supposed, he wasn’t going to have to feign happiness at the sight of her in another person’s arms.
In retrospect, he was happy he’d walked in on that conversation. So fixated on his own feelings, he hadn’t really stopped to think about what she wanted, not really. But now he knew, and he could respect that. If she wasn’t looking for a relationship, he wasn’t about to burden her with his feelings and desires.
Laying down in his bunk again, he determined to put the matter from his head and try to rest. They were going to arrive in a matter of hours, and he needed to be ready for whatever they found. As his eyes finally started to drift shut, he wondered idly if the older Shepard was also having to fight off amorous advances.
It felt like his eyes had only just shut when his alarm went off, and Garrus dragged himself out of his bunk with eyelids that felt like lead. When he was dressed in his armor and ready to go, he made it down the cargo bay to find only half the team assembled thus far. As even Shepard was missing yet, Garrus took his time as he pulled open his weapon locker and started preparing.
After a moment, he let his eyes wander, and within seconds they had landed on the figure with vibrant red hair checking the sights of her sniper rifle nearby. He felt a small smile flit across his face as he sighed before returning to checking the heat sink in his own weapon. When he looked up again, he found Jane glancing back at him. He swallowed and stood a little taller as she turned and made her way toward him, holstering her gun.
“Feeling ready?” She asked, her offhanded and relaxed tone of voice at odds with the steely glint in her eyes.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.” Garrus replied with a lopsided grin and a nervous flick of his mandibles. She chuckled as she reached out to give his shoulder a friendly punch before turning back to her locker to pull out her visor. As she affixed it to her face, he didn’t even need to check the numbers to know she was still ahead in their little competition. She always was. She probably always would be.
Garrus continued to ready and holster his weapons, all the while watching her out of the corner of his eye. It was impossible to ignore her, it was like his whole body was attuned to her every movement. He was beginning to believe it might be dangerous to go into battle so distracted. Giving a shake of his head, he attempted to dislodge her from his brain, but all he managed to do was land his eyes on the one other person in the room who seemed preoccupied with her.
Kaidan’s attempts to not look at Jane seemed to scream his discomfort across the room. Garrus thought it was a wonder that it wasn’t more apparent to everyone else around them, but then again, they hadn’t accidentally witnessed the events of a few hours ago. With sudden realization, Garrus’ brown plates rose as he wondered if this was the reason why the Alliance had regulations against fraternization. Both he and Kaidan were all out of sorts just because of a woman. Interesting that he’d never had issues like this while serving on a turian vessel. Maybe it was a human thing and he was picking up bad habits after all.
“Have any fun last night?” Jane asked absently as her eyes began scrolling through the data only she could see through her visor. Garrus tried hard not to think about how he’d spent his time.
“Not particularly.” He muttered, hoping she’d be fine with him leaving it at that.
“Probably for the best.” She looked up, and after a beat, she grinned. “I saw Liara sneaking into the Commander’s quarters last night.” Garrus’ eyes widened in bemused surprise, and he was about to ask more about it when she continued. “She didn’t stay long though, I think she was shot down.” Jane seemed to sober at that, her face thoughtful as, if he wasn’t mistaken, her eyes flicked to Kaidan quickly before returning to him. “Things get complicated when feelings get involved, the Commander knows that. I’m sure he was gentle about it.” Garrus nodded slowly and the conversation lapsed soon afterwards. Jane shot him one last parting smile before turning to ask Wrex something.
Garrus finished with his weapons and let his eyes fall upon her again as she chatted animatedly with the krogan. He’d loved having her in his life the past few months, she’d been an amazing friend. One couldn’t ask for a better one, fierce and loyal and protective. He didn’t want to lose that, not for anything, not even for the chance at something more. He could put his feelings aside and just appreciate that which he already had if it meant respecting her wishes. Nodding to himself, he took a deep breath and felt his mandibles flutter against his face. After a few minutes, he felt better centered and focused on the mission at hand.
Suddenly, the elevator door opened and Shepard strode out like a man on a mission. Which, Garrus supposed, he was.
“Okay, everyone. Suit up and find your seats, we’re heading planetside in 5. This is it.”
Chapter 20: Part 1: Chapter 18
Summary:
In which Garrus rides a Mako through a Relay.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 18
Ilos
“I always hate this part…” Jane muttered from her spot strapped into the Mako beside Garrus. With a jerk, he felt the telltale rumble of the cargo bay door opening. A heartbeat later, the Mako was hurtling through the air toward its makeshift landing strip and he glanced over to see Jane’s face drawn and her eyes shut tight. There was a short moment of near weightlessness before the thrusters cranked into high gear, doing their utmost to fight against the gravity of freefall. Moments later, they hit the ground with a sharp thump and a few hard bounces.
“The door is closing!” Kaidan yelled an octave higher than usual as he grabbed his harness with a panicked expression. Before them, Saren was disappearing behind a quickly narrowing gap.
“I see it!” Shepard replied with a strained voice, and he slammed his foot on the breaks, cutting the steering wheel to the side. They came to a sudden screeching halt and the ground team took a collective breath of relief. Quickly, they all piled out to examine the door through which they’d just lost Saren.
It quickly became apparent that they were going to need to find either a way to get the blast door open or some sort of alternate route, and the only way to do that was going to be searching the surrounding ruins. So without further ado, they set out to do just that, only to be met with considerable geth opposition.
Garrus wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting of the mythical Prothean planet, but this hadn’t been it. The air sparkled with dust motes hanging in the thin beams of sunshine filtering down through the reddish clouds choking the sky. They picked their way between towering, intricately carved spires made of some material that almost, but not entirely, resembled stone. The buildings had spent the past few eons slowly being reclaimed by the land and were now covered in vines, ferns, and other colorful vegetation.
The most eerie part of it, Garrus thought, was the silence. When they weren’t fighting off groups of geth, the silence was broken only by their own footsteps and the occasional gust of wind. There were no birds, no skittering creatures, no signs of life besides the plants devouring the Prothean structures. Whatever had happened to the Protheans here, the intervening years had not been kind to this planet.
Soon, they found themselves picking their way through a network of tunnels and bunkers, weak light pouring down from the skylights above. From the increased geth presence, Garrus had to guess they were getting closer to finding some sort of way to catch up to Saren, but they were all starting to feel the wear as they shot down machine after machine after machine . He had no idea how long they had been searching, but it felt like it had been an eternity. All he could hope was that Saren was moving slowly on foot and that once they got the door open, they would be able to catch up eventually in the Mako… If the route was even traversable in the large vehicle.
As another group of geth fell, Shepard called a halt to stop for a short break, noticing the run down state of the group. Garrus happily slumped down on a toppled statue, trying his best not to look at the strange, faceless image.
“I still can’t believe I’m here. On Ilos.” Liara murmured as she wiped her sweaty brow and glanced around the surroundings, her shoulders heaving with her labored breathing. “Now that I’m here, it seems obvious that this was the place in your visions, Shepard.” Everyone glanced at the Commander, who just shrugged as he glanced at one of the unsettling statues.
“Yeah, I suppose so. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.” Shepard agreed as he rolled his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tension from non stop fighting.
“What are these things even supposed to be?” Ashley grumbled as she walked up to one of the statues, her arms crossed.
“Do you suppose this is what the Protheans looked like?” Kaidan came to stand next to her, leaning his head back to look up at the face of the towering creature.
“Ugly fuckers, weren’t they?” Jane chuckled as she pulled up her omni-tool to take a quick photo.
“I’m not sure, there’s surprisingly little known about Prothean physiology, but I feel like there’s something off about these.” Liara started cautiously, “They seem almost as if… as if they’re in pain. Like there’s something wrong with them.”
“They look like those husks we keep running into.” Wrex grunted, causing Liara to look up at him sharply, her eyes wide. She looked back at the statue with new curiosity shining in her eyes.
“Yes… Yes, I agree. I see the resemblance. You don’t think…”
“Commander, I’m getting some odd readings on my scanner.” Tali cut in, standing up suddenly as she looked at her omni-tool. The atmosphere changed suddenly as everyone went on the alert, grabbing for their weapons. Suddenly, Tali’s head shot up. “Shepard, right behind you!”
Shepard’s head turned, and Garrus felt his breath catch in his chest as a geth unfolded to stand mere meters behind the Commander, its weapon already leveled at his chest. There was no time to think. A flash of red, and Garrus’ eyes went wide as Jane flung herself between the attacking machine and her brother.
He’d always thought moments like these were supposed to happen in slow motion, as they did in the vids, leaving enough time for lives to flash before people’s eyes. In reality, it happened before anyone had a chance to register what was going on. The plasma shot caught her in the shoulder with enough force to shatter her barrier, causing her to spin as she fell, crashing into Shepard as someone screamed. Both the N7 marines fell to the ground with a spray of vivid red blood, the Commander doing his best to catch and cradle his sister, his eyes wide.
Instinct and training set in and Garrus’ weapon was leveled with the machine a second later, an entire clip emptied into its excuse for a body before he could blink. The geth hadn’t stood a chance, as two others in the group had also shot off a few rounds in retaliation as well. The bullet riddled corpse fell to the ground as the light it had instead of a face flickered before fading altogether.
“Jane!” Shepard cried out as he placed her down on the ground before pressing a hand down onto her bleeding wound in her shoulder. Garrus quickly holstered his weapon before dashing over to kneel beside her, his mind buzzing in shock. Jane hissed and convulsed in pain, her other hand coming up to grip her brother’s wrist. “What the fuck was that?!” Shepard yelled, his eyes flashing with anger.
“Just… Saving your life.” Jane groaned, cracking an eye open as she attempted to smirk up at her brother. “You’re-” She hissed through her teeth as she shifted slightly, “You’re welcome.” Garrus quickly pulled up his omni-tool and readied some medi-gel as Shepard quickly set to work evaluating and cleaning the wound.
“Jesus Christ, Jane. You can’t keep doing shit like that. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
“Well, excuse me.” She grunted through clenched teeth before crying out as Shepard used his knife to peel the fragments of armor away from the plasma wound. “Next time-” She panted, sweat prickling her forehead, “-I’ll just let you die, then.” Garrus winced as the blood oozed up from the wound. Evaluating the shallow depth of it, he sighed in relief that her barrier had taken the brunt of the damage. Medi-gel was quickly applied and the bleeding slowly seemed to come under control. It could have been so much worse.
“You have some sort of savior complex, and it needs to stop.” Shepard snapped as he wiped the sweat off his own forehead, accidentally leaving behind a smudge of her blood.
“What the fuck are you getting at?” Jane glared up at him before glancing down at her slowly healing shoulder with a wince.
“What I mean is that you’re always doing this . Putting yourself at risk to protect others. You nearly choked to death pushing Liara out of danger on Noveria. You nearly fell to your death pushing Ashley out of the way on Feros. And then that stunt you pulled on Virmire… It’s going to get you killed one of these days, and-” Shepard’s voice cut off with a sudden sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
“John, I was not going to just sit there and let you die. You’re the big goddamn hero here, the world needs you .” The emphasis on that last word made the follow up unnecessary, but clear. You, not me . Garrus swallowed hard as his mouth went dry. He was tempted for a moment to speak up, but somehow, it didn’t seem like his place.
“That’s bullshit.” Shepard snapped, glaring at her as they helped her sit up slowly. When he continued, his voice was softer. “We talked about this after Virmire. For a hot second there, I thought you were dead , and it destroyed me. I can’t do this without you, Jane. Please don’t risk your life unnecessarily. Please don’t do that to me.” The siblings looked at each other for a moment before Jane lifted her good arm up to pull Shepard in for a one armed hug, causing the older man to smile wearily.
“I’m not going to lie and say I’m sorry. ‘Cause I’m not.” Jane muttered as she let go, causing Shepard to sigh and roll his eyes. “But I’ll… keep that in mind in the future.” She conceded, and Shepard stood up to offer her a hand up. Garrus placed a careful hand under her injured arm and assisted as she slowly stood up, catching her as she wobbled slightly.
“Easy there, take it slow.” Garrus muttered quietly, and she glanced at him before letting her weight rest on him slightly.
“I’ll take that, I guess, if that’s the best I’m going to get from you, Jane.” Shepard sighed, “Are you good to keep moving? We need to catch up with Saren as quickly as possible.” He asked as he gave her a quick once over.
“I’m fine, I’ll walk it off.” Jane muttered with a wince as she rolled her shoulder, which had completely stopped bleeding already. Medi-gel really was a wonder.
“Right. Garrus, keep an eye on her. Don’t let her over exert herself.”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Pfft, you couldn’t stop me if I really wanted to.”
“Don’t tempt me to test that. ” Garrus grinned down at her, his mandibles barely flicking to give away his anxiety. “Maybe this is my chance to pull ahead in our wager, last I checked my kill count was catching up.”
“Not a chance, Big Guy.”
Vigil. The Prothean VI that had survived the ages hidden away here on Ilos. They stood there entranced and horrified by the story being unraveled before them, towering walls full of lifeless stasis pods stretching up into the heavens above them.
Horror turned to terror as the true nature of the Citadel was revealed to them, and the danger Saren posed became very real and very imminent. Suddenly, Garrus itched to be gone, to hurry after the rogue Spectre, to stop him. They’d always known that the galaxy was depending on this mission, but suddenly, that seemed so much more real, more urgent.
“There’s a data file in my console. Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel’s master control unit, upload it to the station.” Vigil’s carefully moderated voice explained in a strangely calm tone, “It will corrupt the Citadel’s security protocols, and give you temporary control over the station.” It paused for a breath before continuing, a strange hint of hesitation in its voice, “It might give you a chance against Sovereign.”
“Wait.” Garrus felt the cogs churning in his mind almost of their own accord, “Where’s the Citadel’s master control unit? I’ve never heard of anything like that.” He’d spent a good deal of his life on the Citadel, he’d have heard of such a place, wouldn’t he?
“Through the Conduit. Follow Saren. He will lead you to your destination.” The hesitation was gone, now replaced by urgency. Shepard turned away from the VI, his eyes set and determined.
“Saren’s got enough of a head start. Grab that data file and let’s go!” Jane darted forward, her omni-tool already out and hovering over the VI’s pedestal.
“... Got it. Should I grab anything else from him while we’re here?” Jane looked back, hesitating with her omni-tool still out.
“The one you call Saren has not reached the Conduit. Not yet. There is still hope if you hurry.” Vigil murmured urgently.
“There’s no time. Everyone, back to the Mako!” Eight pairs of boots hurried back into the elevator. The tension as they rode it back up to the surface was thick and broken only by a few stray comments, eyes trained mostly on the door and boots. Garrus looked up, his eyes finding Jane, as they always did. Her eyes flicked to him and she smiled, as she always did. But it was forced, not shared by her eyes. Garrus couldn’t find it in himself to smile back, returning his eyes to the door.
Once they piled into the Mako and strapped in, Shepard took off like a bat out of hell. Usually a careful driver, he barreled down the corridors like he never had before. He completely ignored the geth clearly stationed to slow them down, simply bowling them over when he could. They flew off of overhangs and found themselves hurtling down a waterway. It pitched downward, and before them lay the Conduit.
It was beautiful in a haunting sort of way. The familiar blue glow was interrupted every few seconds by the huge, spinning circles at the base of it, the arms reaching upwards toward the heavens as if in supplication. The miniature relay seemed to hum and vibrate in a way that was dreadfully familiar which left a sinking feeling in Garrus’ stomach. He’d seen its twin regularly over the past few years, nearly every day when he’d worked on the Presidium.
As Shepard drove the Mako over the end of the waterway into the creek at the bottom, Garrus noticed with concern as the rings seemed to be slowing, as if it were beginning to power down.
“I think we’ve got about 30 seconds to get through the Conduit before it closes, Commander!” Tali yelled from where she was strapped in, looking up from the energy readings on her omni-tool. Between the Mako and the Conduit, however, was what seemed to be a battalion of geth, including a number of huge, white colossi.
“Hang on, everyone!” Shepard warned, his eyes glued to the obstacles before them, “Things are going to get a little rough!” The Mako shot forward, absorbing shots and knocking over machines as it sped toward the waiting Conduit.
The looming relay seemed to fill the sky before them as they careened into it. Garrus felt a familiar tug as everything out the window seemed to elongate. He glanced beside him to see Jane’s drawn, anxious face and he remembered her words during their earlier descent from the Normandy. Her eyes met his.
Garrus wasn’t sure who’s hand moved first, but he felt her fingers clutched in his as they were abruptly flung across space.
Chapter 21: Part 1: Chapter 19
Summary:
In which Garrus nearly loses everything.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 19
The Citadel
As they entered the main council chamber at the top of the tower, it took Garrus a few moments to adjust himself to their new orientation. Their long accent up the tower’s exterior had been slow and arduous, leaving them in an almost frenzied panic when they finally made their way into the large, dimly lit room. Saren had a head start on them and the extra time it had taken to get up there had only made it worse.
The first thing that hit Garrus was the smell of smoke, a smell not stumbled upon often in the strictly controlled environments of the Presidium. The emergency lighting gave everything an eerie red glow and the walls were speckled with flickering shadows from the numerous piles of burning debris. An alarm was pulsing somewhere in the distance, adding emphasis to the unnatural silence in an area usually filled with conversing dignitaries.
“Enemy contacts on scopes, just ahead.” Jane murmured as she looked through her sniper rifle’s scope. There was a loud Crack! as she pulled the trigger and she jerked back slightly before looking up with a small, pleased smirk on her lips. “One less.”
“We don’t have much time left. We need to stop Saren, no matter the cost!” Shepard barked as he pulled out his shotgun and motioned everyone forward.
Shot by shot, flight by flight, they fought their way up the stairs toward the council’s dais until Garrus glanced up and felt his heart jump into his throat. There, at the end of the overlook before the dais, stood Saren with his back to them as he typed furiously into a console. Garrus raised his weapon and took aim, his vision tunneling as he prepared to pull the trigger.
His barrier shattered and his world erupted in pain. He felt himself cry out as he fell, one hand dropping to the ground to catch himself. Looking down, he saw a bullet hole in the armor covering his thigh and he felt a string of expletives flow from his mouth as the blue blood splattered onto the floor.
“Garrus!” He felt himself being grabbed under the arm and dragged behind cover. Leaning against the wall, he let his head fall back as his breathing became ragged, the pain growing to encompass everything. “Hold tight, I’ll take a look at it once we clear this group.” Jane’s husky voice seemed to echo down a long corridor as it trickled into his ears, competing for his attention with the screaming pain in his leg.
“No-” Garrus hissed in pain as he shifted, gripping his leg, “No time. Get Saren.” He growled through clenched teeth and looked over at her, watching as she took down another geth before ducking back behind cover. Their eyes met, and she nodded after a moment.
“Stay here, stay safe. We’ll take care of him.” She looked over to where Shepard was taking cover across the room. He nodded, and moments later they both ducked out and charged up the stairs, weapons blazing, leaving Garrus where he sat.
Taking a deep breath, Garrus looked down at his leg. The bleeding was getting worse, and he was beginning to shake, whether from the pain or shock, he wasn’t sure. He tried to focus on his breathing as he brought his omni-tool and applied medi-gel with a shaking hand. After a moment, the pain seemed to subside somewhat, enough for him to begin noticing the world around him again.
“Garrus, are you okay?!” Kaidan gasped as he ducked into cover beside him, taking up Jane’s previous post.
“I’ll be fine, we need to catch up with the others.” Garrus managed to get out between breaths, reaching a hand up to the other man. Kaidan quickly grabbed it, pulling Garrus to his feet carefully.
“Are you sure you’re good to go? You can stay here.”
“No.” Garrus took one more steadying breath, the pain still receding as the medi-gel worked its magic. “I’m good. Let’s go.” The stairs ahead of them had been cleared by the others, so it was safe for them to follow. As he took a careful step, he winced and limped forward onto his good leg. With the bullet still lodged in his leg, it was going to be rough going, but there was no time.
Together, the two men hurried up the stairs as quickly as Garrus’ injury would allow. Ahead of them, Wrex stood over Tali and Ashley, both nursing wounds of their own, as Liara used a singularity to draw the last of the geth forces out of cover. Garrus looked up as Shepard stormed up the last set of stairs, followed by Jane hot on his heels. Before them, Saren glanced back, his fingers still moving frantically over the keyboard.
As they reached the top of the stairs, weapons drawn, Saren stepped forward seemingly onto nothing, plummeting into the courtyard below. Confused, Garrus and Kaidan hurried up the stairs to join them, only to watch as Saren’s smirking face reappeared as his hoverboard lifted him up above the dais. Garrus felt his eyes widen as the glowing object in Saren’s hand drew his attention.
With a lazy flick of his wrist, Saren sent the grenade careening toward them, causing the group of four to throw themselves toward the closest cover they could find. Garrus felt the force of the blast catch him in midair, sending him flying into a nearby banister, knocking the air from his lungs. The world span and his head swam as he tried to get his bearings, his ears ringing. As the screeching began to fade and the world stabilized yet again, he started to make out voices echoing through the room.
“-that the Reapers need organics. Join us and Sovereign will find a place for you, too.” Garrus could make out the silken thrum of Saren’s voice as the ringing finally died down. There was something off, almost flat, about Saren’s sub vocals, they weren’t quite right…
“Sovereign’s controlling you through your implants! Don’t you see that?” Shepard yelled at him from where he’d taken cover nearby, and Garrus could hear Jane scoff.
“I’d rather die than live like that.” She spat, and her voice must have carried, because as Garrus looked up he could see a sneer gracing Saren’s features.
“Then you will die. And your companions. Unless you submit as I have. I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!” Saren purred as he stood at his ease upon his hovering board.
“Sovereign hasn’t won yet. I can stop it from taking control of the station! Step aside, and the invasion will never happen!” Shepard shouted, his voice laced with frustration and desperation in equal parts.
“We can’t stop it!” Saren snapped back at him, gesturing in disdain, “You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful. The cycle must continue and they need us. The only way to save organic life is to make ourselves useful to them.”
“The Reapers don’t use organics!” Jane shot back at him in disgust and outrage, “They devour and discard them! As soon as the conquest is over, you’ll be cast aside!”
“Some part of you must still realize this is wrong. You can fight this!” Shepard added, his voice almost pleading. His ability to hold on to hope and see the best in others, even at a time like this, never ceased to amaze Garrus.
There were a few moments of silence, the only sounds being the crackling of the fires and distant blaring of the alarm. When Saren did respond, the words caused Garrus’ eyes to widen in surprise.
“Maybe you’re right.” His voice seemed different than before, softer, more hesitant. “Maybe there is still a chance for… unh !” Saren groaned as he convulsed, nearly losing his footing to fall to the courtyard meters below. Clutching his head in pain, he looked up and took a moment to regain his breath. “The implants… Sovereign is too strong. It’s too late for me.” The words were strained and regretful, and Garrus could almost imagine for a moment they were genuine. “I had no choice, there were no other options for me.”
“You could have resisted. You could have fought. Instead, you surrendered. You quit.” The accusation in Jane’s voice seemed to hit Saren over the head like a physical blow, leaving him reeling, his eyes wide. Shepard rolled out of cover and stood before Saren, his shoulders squared and head held high.
“It’s not over yet. You can still redeem yourself!” Shepard pleaded with the older turian, his face open and imploring. Garrus realized with shock that Shepard’s weapon hung loose at his side, a testament to his faith and conviction. Jane stood as well, though she had a much tighter hold upon her firearm, her stance more like a cat waiting to pounce.
“... If you have the guts.” She spat the challenge, her eyes like glinting steel. Suddenly, Saren seemed to stand a little taller and Garrus tensed as he saw the other turian tighten his hold on his pistol.
“Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you.” If he’d blinked, Garrus probably would have missed it. Without any hesitation, Saren’s hand shot up and his pistol came to rest just below his own jaw, pulling the trigger immediately. The shot rang out and blood splattered up into the air before falling to the ground in a brilliant spray of blue.
The light immediately left Saren’s eyes as he wobbled for a moment before his knees gave way. He pitched to the side and fell from his hoverboard, plummeting before smashing through the glass ceiling below. Garrus heard a muffled thud as his body hit the ground.
The room was still for a moment as everyone stood in shocked silence, digesting what had just transpired before them. Shepard took a hesitant step forward, followed by another, and then another. He came to rest at the end of the walkway before the control panel as he pulled out his omni-tool. Jane and Kaidan followed him, and Garrus pulled himself to his feet to join them.
“Vigil’s data file worked.” Shepard said with triumph a few moments later. “I’ve got control of all systems.” It was so hard to believe it was over, it didn’t seem real somehow. After all that time, they’d finally caught and dealt with him. And because of Shepard’s silver tongue, there hadn’t even been a final confrontation, it almost seemed too good to be true.
“Quick! Open the station’s arms.” Kaidan insisted as he took a half step forward.
“Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign down before he regains control of the station!” Jane added as Garrus came to stand besides her.
“See if you can open a communication channel.” Garrus suggested, eager to no longer feel so cut off from the Normandy and other forces set to oppose Saren, Sovereign, and the geth. Shepard nodded before looking down at his omni-tool again, pressing in a few commands. Their comms sprang to life after a moment, intercepting a new line.
“ -the Destiny Ascension. Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers down 40%- ”
“ That can’t be good.” Jane muttered under her breath and Garrus glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as she crossed her arms.
“ -I repeat, the Council is on board.” Garrus could hear Shepard on the coms with the Normandy in the background, but all he could think about was the shock of realizing how close Saren had come to decapitating the galaxy’s government.
“- save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we’ll send the cavalry in!” Joker was saying, and the weight of the decision came squarely upon Shepard’s shoulders.
“You’d sacrifice human lives to save the Council?” Wrex asked with skepticism as he ambled up behind them, “What have they ever done for your kind?” Garrus’ eyes widened as he turned to face the old krogan.
“This is bigger than humanity!” Garrus spat as he glared daggers at Wrex. He turned back to face Shepard, gesturing out the large window toward the glowing Wards of the Citadel. “Sovereign’s a threat to every organic species in the galaxy!” He implored the Commander to understand.
“That’s why you can’t throw away reinforcements trying to save the council.” Wrex’s voice remained calm, which only made Garrus’ blood boil hotter. “Hold them back until the Citadel’s arms open up and the human fleet can go after Sovereign.” Shepard’s eyes moved between them both, weighing and considering.
“ What’s the order, Commander? Come in now to save the Ascension or hold back?” Joker’s voice had an edge of desperation to it, urging Shepard to make a decision. He glanced away for a moment before looking back at the control panel.
“Opening the relays now, Joker. We need to save the Ascension – no matter what the cost!” At Shepard’s words, Garrus felt a knot in his chest loosen and he took a breath. In retrospect, he should have known there was no way Shepard would make any other choice.
“I hope the Council appreciates this…” Wrex muttered causing Jane to chuckle bleakly.
“They won’t.”
After receiving Joker’s acknowledgement, Shepard input a few more commands into the main control panel before closing it. Everyone was quiet for a moment as Shepard took a few hesitant steps forward, looking down upon Saren’s bloody corpse in the courtyard below.
“Make sure he’s dead.” The hollowness in Shepard’s voice warred with the relief evident on his face as he glanced back at Jane, who nodded her understanding. Silently, she made her way off the overlook and found the easiest path down into the courtyard. Without hesitation, Garrus clumsily jumped after her, doing his best to favor his injured leg, followed by a loud thud as Wrex’s heavy frame landed beside him.
Jane swiftly picked her way around the debris littered across the courtyard and came to a halt just before Saren’s broken body, her pistol already drawn. Taking aim, she promptly fired a clean shot through the turian’s head, and after a moment, added two more in his chest, just to be sure. They waited with baited breath, and everyone seemed to relax a moment later when there was no reaction.
“He’s dead.” Jane said into their com channel, glancing up where Shepard and Kaidan stood above. But before they could respond, the room gave an almighty lurch, sending everyone stumbling. Power seemed to thrum through the air, causing crackles of red energy to skitter across the walls in all directions.
Garrus struggled to regain his footing and looked around wildly before wincing as needles seemed to penetrate deep into his brain. Looking up, he felt horror begin to dawn, his breath leaving him as though sucked from his lungs. Saren’s body began to convulse, limbs twitching and energy radiating outwards. His entire corpse seemed to glow red as it vibrated, his arms reaching out as if to grab at them. His mouth opened and he let loose an inorganic screech of pure rage and pain.
Jane took a step backwards, her weapon slowly rising to point at the tormented turian, though her own confusion seemed to hold her finger from the trigger. Suddenly, the red energy surrounding Saren exploded outwards, sending Jane sprawling backwards, her head hitting the ground hard, leaving her dazed.
“Shit!” Garrus cried out in panic as Saren started to pull himself to his feet before her, and Garrus hurried to stand, stumbling on his bad leg. “Shepard, help!” Before he could take more than a few wobbly steps, however, he heard the creaking groan of metal above him. He came to a sliding stop as he saw the walkway above start to collapse, bringing Shepard and Kaidan down with it.
When Garrus finally got around the twisted heap of metal and glass, his heart froze at the sight before him. As Jane shakily got to her feet, before her loomed a monstrosity of bloody flesh and machine. It looked like something out of a nightmare as its flesh dripped off of it, the red energy still glowing from the inside of its now visible rib cage. Saren, if he really could be called that, seemed to be little more than a mechanical puppet and stood just before Jane with the confidence of a seasoned predator.
“Jane, move!” Garrus screamed as she looked up in horror at the monster looming over her. In a flash, Saren raised a clawed hand and swiftly backhanded Jane to the side of the head with the seeming force of a truck, sending her flying meters to the side. Garrus’ mouth was open in a silent cry of fear as he watched her collapse, laying motionless on the floor.
“ JANE! ” The pure, unadulterated fury in Shepard’s voice as he screamed caught Garrus off guard, causing him to pause and turn to face the Commander. Shepard’s face was contorted with rage, his eyes wide and his mouth a snarl as he almost appeared to vibrate. Suddenly, he was awash with biotic energy that seemed to sizzle and pop, causing him to glow. Without warning, Shepard disappeared, leaving only a streak of biotics behind as he charged toward Saren, colliding with him with incredible force and speed, sending the mechanical nightmare flying backwards.
What under the Spirits had that been? He had never seen Shepard use a biotic attack like that before. Granted, he wasn’t terribly well educated regarding biotic abilities, but he’d never even seen Liara use such a move.
Shepard seemed equally confused as he stood there, reeling in the wake of his sudden attack, several meters away from where he’d started. He tried to shake off his daze, stumbling for a moment before looking around for Saren. The creature quickly sprung to its feet before crouching and launching itself toward the wall.
“ I am Sovereign! And this station is MINE!”
“Take him down!” Shepard commanded with steel in his voice, and shots rang out around the room as the chaos of battle ensued. Kaidan and Wrex had opened fire immediately from where they stood nearby, and Liara jumped down to join them after presumably ensuring Tali and Ashley’s safety.
Garrus’ eyes returned to Jane’s prone form, unmoving still amidst the crossfire. Staying low to the ground, he picked his way over to her and carefully got a grip under her arms, dragging her safely behind a large boulder. He rolled her over and panicked at first at the sight of bright red blood streaked across her face and matting her hair. Quite a lot of bright red blood.
He quickly noticed the gash at her temple, but after a moment, he decided it wasn’t too bad. Nothing a little medigel wouldn’t sort out. From his experience, head wounds on humans always seemed to bleed a lot, or so he tried to remind himself. Suddenly, he heard the telltale mechanical sounds of geth and he looked up to see a shock trooper unfurling itself after landing in the courtyard nearby.
“You picked an awful time to take a nap, Jane.” Garrus growled as he stood over her, drew his weapon, and took aim.
As the minutes dragged on, the wound in his leg throbbing, it was all he could do to pick off the geth as they appeared, taking the occasional shot at the monstrosity leaping about the room wearing what was left of Saren’s face. Shepard seemed to have the fight well in hand, however, and Garrus decided he’d never seen Shepard in such peak form. The sheer ferocity and power behind his attacks were astonishing, his focus razor sharp, and his shots aimed to perfection. His new charge ability had him darting about the room with incredible force and speed, helping him easily keep up with Saren’s leaps.
Garrus wasn’t sure how long the battle lasted, but it seemed as though every geth on the station had been called in to stop them. They poured in, swarming around them like flies and it was all he could do to keep them off of them as best he could. He figured at the rate they were going, exhaustion was going to kill them before Saren or the geth managed it.
Finally, the last geth fell, leaving only the turian shaped mechanical puppet. Garrus took cover behind the boulder to check on Jane quickly, who was still unconscious, before standing back up and taking aim. Just then, Shepard collided with Saren at high speed as he charged him one last time, followed by a shotgun shot to the chest at nearly point blank range.
Saren flew backwards before hitting the ground, limp and unmoving. The electrical currents that seemed to flit across his body stilled and died. The crackling red energy quickly grew to engulf him and within seconds his body had completely disintegrated. The Spectre was nothing more than a pile of ash, their hunt finally complete.
Garrus knew he should feel some sort of satisfaction. He only felt hollow. Somehow, it didn’t feel like a victory.
Holstering his weapon, he looked down at Jane. He quickly applied some medi-gel to the gash on her temple, hoping that might help her start to regain consciousness.
“Jane, you need to wake up.” Garrus softly patted her cheek before brushing a lock of hair out of her eyes. Spirits, it was soft. His finger drifted down to stroke her cheek lightly, but he still got no response. Sighing, he did his best to gently scoop her up into his arms. As he stood, he saw Shepard making his way toward him quickly, anxiety etched across his face.
“Garrus, how is she? Is she okay?”
“I think so, I’m not sure. I got some medi-gel on the wound, but she’s still out cold.”
“I see. Well, let’s get back up there and we’ll see about getting her and the others medical attention.”
“Yes, Sir.” With that, the team slowly started the accent back up into the Council’s chambers. It was, admittedly, not easy with a leg injury and an unconscious human in his arms.
“By the Goddess, look!” Liara shouted suddenly, and everyone turned to follow her gesture toward the large window overlooking the Citadel wards.
Sovereign was falling. It was almost as though in slow motion, its many legs writhing as its belly became exposed. Explosions seemed to rock its frame, bursts and pops of bright light, causing the entire Reaper to shudder over and over.
There was a sudden and impossibly bright burst of light, followed by an explosion that rocketed outwards, causing the entire tower to convulse and tremble. Garrus stumbled, nearly dropping Jane as he fell to one knee. Looking up, the world seemed to stop as a huge piece of debris came hurtling towards them.
“Go!” Shepard barked, turning toward the group on the stairs, his eyes wild with panic. Standing and turning, Garrus had only a split second to make it down the flight and stairs and fling himself and Jane behind something, he wasn’t even sure what, before the fragment of Sovereign crashed through the window. The world seemed to crumble, turning in on itself, and Garrus collided with something hard.
Everything went black.
Far away, an alarm was oscillating dully, digging a knife a little deeper into his head with each beat. Groaning, Garrus tried to open his eyes for a moment, but it was dark and all he could see was red. Taking a deep breath, he could smell gun oil, blood, and something vaguely… floral?
His eyes snapped open again all the way, and he pushed himself up slightly to see Jane pinned beneath him, her hair splayed out like a halo around her head. His eyes roamed her face, struggling to see in the dark space, and though her eyes were still shut, he was relieved to see she was still breathing and hadn’t picked up any new injuries from what he could see. He tried to pick himself up further, but a sharp pain in his leg caused him to freeze and cry out.
After a moment, he twisted as best he could, conscious not to put any weight on Jane, to see where they were. There appeared to be a large fragment of something massive above them, along with huge chunks of debris trapping them in. His leg seemed to be pinned beneath something heavy, and though not crushed, he wasn’t going to be moving any time soon.
All of a sudden, the events following Saren’s demise came rushing back to him. The huge chunk of Sovereign detaching and smashing through the window, the wreckage falling around them. Running down the stairs, clutching Jane for dear life, turning just before he flung them behind cover… Watching in horror as the massive wreckage fell right onto…
Garrus squeezed his eyes shut as dread started welling up. It had landed right on Shepard as he’d been urging them all onward. How could he have possibly avoided something so enormous? Shifting his weight, he did his best to pull out his omni-tool to check the coms without accidentally letting his body weight crush Jane. He tried to hail the team, and failing that, tried to get ahold of Joker. There was no response, and he attempted to beat down the panic in his throat.
After a moment, he felt Jane shift slightly, and he looked down to see pain flit across her face for a moment, her head turning to the side.
“Jane? Jane, can you hear me?”
“Mmmmpphh…?” Jane groaned, her eyes fluttering for a moment before slowly opening. “Garrus? Where…?” She seemed to take in their surroundings, her eyes going wide. Then she winced, bringing a hand up to her head.
“Whoa there, you took a bad hit. What is the last thing you remember?”
“I’m not sure. We went through the conduit… Saren!” Her eyebrows shot up and her eyes searched his, “What happened with Saren?”
“He’s dead. Your brother took him down.” Jane seemed to relax somewhat at that.
“Where are we now? What happened?” Jane asked and Garrus shifted slightly, trying to make more space for her, and did his best to suppress a pained groan as he accidentally tugged on his bad leg. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about me.” Her eyes narrowed in concern.
“You look exhausted.”
“You’re one to speak.” Garrus pointed out and chuckled before wincing again.
“What about the others?” He felt the humor leave him as though sucked through an air lock.
“I don’t know. I didn’t get a response from anyone when I tried earlier.” Garrus replied, feeling his eyes slide off her and look away, hoping she wouldn’t inquire further. He had a pretty good idea what must have happened to at least one of the team, and that wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have right now. The coms remaining completely silent wasn’t a good sign. Though, he supposed, there might be some sort of interference making communication difficult. She seemed to read his hesitation.
“What about John?” Garrus felt his mouth go dry, and he couldn’t bring his eyes to meet hers. After a moment, he found the courage to reply.
“I don’t know.”
“Garrus.” Jane snapped, her voice tinged with an edge of command. Garrus finally brought his eyes to meet hers, which flashed with her usual cool, green steel. “What happened to John?”
“I’m so sorry, Jane. I really don’t know. Sovereign exploded and a huge chunk broke through the window. Most of us were making our way down the stairs already by then, but he was much further back. I have no idea if he-” Garrus cut off as she gave a sudden jerk, trying to wiggle out from under him. “Whoa, wait, what are you doing?”
“I have to get out of here, I have to go find him.”
“Jane, we’re both hurt and trapped, give me a moment and I’ll try hailing Joker again so we can get assistance.” Looking down at her, he saw her eyes, wide and frantic as she scrabbled at the debris around them, trying to find purchase. “Please try to calm down, you could have a serious head injury, you’re in no state to-”
“Shut up and help me, Garrus! I need to find John, he has to be alright.” The distress was evident in her voice and he did his best to give her all the space he could without putting too much strain on his leg.
He was about to open his mouth again to ask her to slow down when he was interrupted by movement nearby. He looked up to see a piece of debris moving and then he could hear the distant rumble of voices. A piece moved, and a bright light shone in their faces.
“Captain Anderson! We’ve found two of them! They’re in here.” The light moved and when Garrus’ eyes adjusted, he could see a C-Sec officer he vaguely recognized poking his head through a hole in the debris. Together, they managed to move one of the larger pieces off of them, giving them space to move. Jane was scrambling up in an instant, but as she pushed past the officer, her knees wobbled and she pitched forward. Garrus lurched forward, trying to get to her, but stopped as Captain Anderson stepped forward to catch her. He settled her back on her feet, a wry smile on his face.
“Take it easy, Shepard… It’s over. You’re safe now.” Anderson chuckled, but his smile turned to confusion as Jane pushed away from him, her head swiveling as her eyes scanned through the rubble. Anderson turned to face Garrus as the officer helped him to his feet slowly. “Where’s the Commander?” Garrus looked away, unable to meet the Captain’s eyes. Instead, he looked over to where Jane was stumbling around piles of debris.
“Captain, she needs medical assistance, she has a head injury.” Garrus muttered as he attempted to limp after her.
“Right, of course.” Anderson replied as he hurried to catch up with her, placing a hand on Jane’s shoulder. She shrugged him off as she turned to face them, her eyes wild.
“Where was he, Garrus?! Where should I be looking?!” She nearly yelled as she took a step toward him. Before Garrus could stop himself, he glanced up at the colossal piece of Sovereign that now resided at the top of the staircase where Shepard had been standing. He glanced away quickly, squeezing his eyes shut. Looking at the pure size of the thing… There was no way…
He looked back at Jane, trying to keep the emotion off his face but failing horribly. Her eyes went wide, her eyebrows knitting together in anguish. She turned back to gaze up at the massive machine again.
“No… Not John, he couldn’t be-” Jane’s hand came up to grip her head suddenly and she toppled to the side. Anderson hurried forward to catch her, easing her down onto the floor. She came to rest on her knees, her head bowed. Her fingers curled into her hair, gripping tightly. Garrus knelt down beside her as best he could, bringing a hand to rest on her shoulder.
“Jane, I-” Sudden movement in the corner of his eye made him look up. Squinting in confusion, he glanced around for a moment, wondering if it had been his imagination. He stood up for a better view, and was about to look away when he saw it again. A flash of black, a streak of red, pale, human skin, short buzzed hair…
“Shepard!” He yelled, causing all eyes to snap up. The knot that had been growing in his chest finally started to unravel as the figure came into view. Slowly crawling up a piece of debris, one arm held at an awkward angle, was Commander John Shepard, battered and bruised, but alive.
“ John!” Jane called out, stumbling to her feet and taking off after him. Shepard slid down a pile of rubble and opened his good arm to receive her as she rocketed into him, wrapping her arms around him. “Shit, I thought you were dead.”
“Yeah, not fun, is it?” Shepard chuckled as he returned the hug, wincing as he shifted his injured arm out of the way. Her laugh was shaky as though she wasn’t quite ready to laugh about it, but determined to be pleased none-the-less.
Garrus felt his heart warm as he watched the two Shepards embracing, and he turned to Anderson after a moment.
“Have you found the others?”
“Yes, we’ve found everyone, they should be back down by the elevator. Let’s get you three down there, we have medics enroute.” Garrus winced as he took a step.
“Good. It’s a miracle we all made it out alive.” The world began to spin, and Garrus fell to sit on a nearby piece of rubble as he struggled to remain conscious, the adrenaline finally starting to fade.
“You can say that again.”
Chapter 22: Part 1: Chapter 20
Summary:
In which Garrus loses nearly everything, afterall.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 20
The Citadel
The aftermath following Saren and Sovereign’s defeat rushed by in a blur for Garrus. The first few hours following their rescue were chaos between the hospital stay and the hustle bustle of getting the clean up efforts started. For the most part, the ground team stuck together and were generally left alone. Shepard seemed to be perpetually called upon, first by the Council as they asked for input and advice, then by the Alliance to complete reports and answer questions, and then by reporters and the media scurrying about and begging for interviews. But the Commander did his best to shield the rest of them, and for that Garrus was grateful.
They were eventually able to return to the Normandy, which had docked for repairs after the battle, as soon as they were cleared to leave the hospital. But the looming, unasked question followed them through the halls as they tried to figure out their new normal: What now?
It quickly became apparent that the Alliance crew members were going to be staying on under Shepard, who was using his sway with the Council to push the topic of the Reapers. He was insisting that they investigate the topic further, but with mixed results. Only time would tell what his success would be, but until that point, he was determined to be the proverbial squeaky wheel.
The first of the non-Alliance crew members to leave was Wrex. About three days after the battle, Garrus stepped out of the elevator into the cargo hold to see him emptying his locker.
“Going somewhere, Wrex?” He asked as he took a detour toward the older krogan.
“It’s about time I got off this bucket o’ bolts. Got places to be, people to shoot.” Wrex huffed before chuckling, slamming his locker shut with a bang.
“Where will you head now?” Garrus was amused to realize that he’d actually miss the old man, as much as they butted heads. Wrex had opened his eyes and taught him a lot about the krogan, things that he’d never learned even during his years with C-Sec. They’d grown to respect each other, somehow, and he’d even go as far as to call the other man a friend.
“Honestly? I might head back home to Tuchanka, for a little while at least.” Wrex said with more than a little chagrin on his face. Garrus felt his brow plates jump in surprise.
“Really? I didn’t expect to hear that from you after all your stories.”
“I know, I know. But Shepard had me talking about home and it got me thinking. I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy. But he put some ideas in my head and now I just can’t shake them.” Wrex rolled his eyes, seemingly annoyed at the situation he found himself in. Garrus laughed and crossed his arms, a wry smile on his face.
“I know what you mean. Shepard has a funny way of turning your world view on its head.”
“You can say that again.” Wrex finished packing his bag and hefted it on his shoulder before turning to face Garrus. “Hmmph. Well, Vakarian, this is it.” To Garrus’ surprise, the krogan held out a hand. “It’s been interesting. Never thought I’d say this to a turian, but you’re not too bad, kid.” Laughing, Garrus took the offered hand in a firm handshake.
“Right back at you, old man.”
“Heh, you might actually make something of yourself one day, if you don’t get yourself killed first.” They let go of each other’s hands and Wrex took a moment to shift his shoulders, drawing himself up to his full height. “Well, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or anything I would do, for that matter, ha! So long, Vakarian.”
“Take care, Wrex.” With that, the krogan turned and made for the elevator, leaving Garrus to get to work. The newly acquired replacement for the wrecked Mako was still sorely in need of calibrations before it would be suited for use during a mission, so he didn’t lack things to do.
The next to leave was Liara, which surprised Garrus a little, given her more than obvious feelings for Shepard. He nearly ran into her leaving the med bay, her bags packed and her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
“Ah, sorry Liara, I didn’t mean to… Are you okay? Have you been crying?” He backed up slightly to give her space as he slung his towel over his neck. He shifted a bit awkwardly, not entirely sure how to handle the situation.
“Oh, Garrus, no, I’m fine. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I’m just getting packed up and ready to leave.”
“Ah yeah, Shepard mentioned that you were going to be leaving soon. Where will you be heading to? Back to your research?”
“I might, eventually, but first I have to wrap up everything with my mother.”
“Oh, right. Sorry, I had almost forgotten about that.”
“Her body is being held in storage on Noveria, and I need to go retrieve her and bring her back to Thessia. She deserves a proper ceremony, even after everything that happened.”
“Yes, yes of course. Once again, I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” There was an awkward pause for a moment, and Garrus struggled to find the right words.
“Well, we’ll miss you, Liara. It was an honor getting to fight alongside you.” He held out his hand, which she took with her slimmer one.
“You as well, Garrus. Thank you for everything, you’ve been a good friend.” She smiled up at him, her eyes shimmering again. She quickly wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m not very good at goodbyes.” Garrus smiled down at her, reaching a hand up to rub at the back of his neck.
“It’s not really goodbye, not for good. I’m sure we’ll see eachother again in the near future. After everything… The Normandy… We’re family, after all.”
“Yes. Family. You are right.” She smiled brightly before leaning down to pick up her bag again. “Well, I’ll see you again soon, then, Garrus.”
“See you later, T’Soni.”
Tali seemed to linger a little bit longer, and it wasn’t until a week after the attack that she started to get antsy. Garrus stumbled upon her pacing in the barracks one morning, her bag half packed and her belongings strewn about. She seemed to be muttering to herself, clearly agitated.
“Everything okay?” He asked after a moment, causing her to startle and jump to face him.
“Keehla, Garrus, you scared me!”
“Sorry, didn’t realize you hadn’t heard the door open.” She sighed and ran a hand over her helmet.
“It’s fine, I was just…” She trailed off, turning to look at the mess on her bunk.
“Packing?” Garrus supplied with a shrug of his shoulders, thinking the answer to be somewhat obvious.
“Yes, no, I don’t know. I’m not sure.” Her voice was soft, her confusion obvious.
“Well, either you are, or you aren’t.”
“I mean, I suppose I am. I just…”
“Don’t want to leave yet?” Tali didn’t reply, but she didn’t need to. He’d seen the way she acted around Shepard. While not as obvious as Liara, her feelings were readily apparent. “Don’t you need to complete your Pilgrimage?” Garrus could see her bright eyes behind her face screen as they shut for a moment and she turned away again.
“Yes. Thanks to Shepard, I have everything I need, more than enough.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
“It’s just hard, you know? Living here, serving on the Normandy, it’s been an amazing experience, it’s an amazing ship, an amazing crew. I know I have to return to my people, they need me. But-” Tali cut off suddenly, turning back to him as she hugged herself.
“I know. I know what you mean. I think we all feel that way, somewhat.”
“It’s so hard to leave. Being here, everything we’ve gone through together. It’s changed my life. I don’t know how to go back to being who I was before all of this.” She sounded so young, all of a sudden, and Garrus reminded himself that she was young. Only barely an adult by her people’s standards.
“I don’t think you can. We’ve all grown, changed. But that’s a good thing. You can bring back not only the geth information we gathered, but all of your experiences. To help your people.” Tali stared at him for a moment before taking a deep breath, her shoulders loosening slightly. Without warning, she closed the few steps between them and threw her arms around him in a hug. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before returning her hug with a quick pat on the back.
“Thank you Garrus, you’re a good friend. I’ll miss you, I’ll miss everyone here. I don’t know how to thank you all.”
“We’ll all miss you, too, Tali. Take care of yourself out there.”
“You, too.” She sighed before stepping back, readjusting the fabric covering her helmet. She went back to her bunk and started packing again, this time with more certainty. Garrus made his way over to his belongings, pulling out a change of clothing. After a few moments, she broke the silence with a question he had been trying to avoid asking himself the past few days.
“So, what are you planning to do now, Garrus?”
Garrus soon found himself to be the only non-human member of the Normandy’s crew, and while he felt comfortable around the rest of the crew, it was still a little disconcerting. He knew he had to make some sort of decision. Weeks ago, long before Ilos, he’d had a conversation with Shepard during which he’d thought he’d decided to return to his job at C-Sec after Saren was taken down. He had a message sitting in his inbox at that moment from his father which he knew was about just that, and yet something was causing him to drag his feet, staying his hand.
“Sleeping on the job, Big Guy?” Garrus felt his back snap a little straighter at the sound of the voice behind him, jumping slightly. He turned from where he stood at the Mako’s station to see Jane heading his way. He flashed her a smile in an attempt to cover how his nerves tingled at the sight of her.
“It’s nothing, just thinking.”
“Don’t strain yourself.” Jane smirked at him, eliciting a chuckle from him as she took up her usual position on a crate nearby, leaning back and making herself comfortable. “What’s on your mind?”
“Just thinking about my options now that this is all over.” They were both silent for a moment, the smile melting off her face.
“Well, what do you want?”
“I-” He paused, turning to look at her, letting himself drink in the sight of her for a moment. You, his mind screamed, but the word shriveled up on his tongue. He winced, turning away. Coward. “I don’t know. I know my dad wants me to go back to C-Sec, get a proper job again. I’d told Shepard that I’d been planning on doing that, too.”
“You don’t sound so sure now.”
“Yeah, I don’t know.” He knew, deep down, what, or rather who , was causing his change of heart. The thought of saying goodbye to her, of leaving everything unsaid, of not getting to see her everyday-
“Well, I just got word from the Commander, we’re shipping out in three days.” Garrus froze, his back tensing as ice dropped into his belly.
“Oh?” He tried his best to sound mildly interested, to hide the dread that was sinking deep into his plates. Three days. He was going to have to say goodbye in three days.
“Yeah, we’re being sent out to mop up some geth forces holding out in a few different systems.” Garrus’ surprise must have shone on his face because the corner of Jane’s mouth turned down as she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I know. I said the same thing, but the Commander says we need to play nice with the higher ups until he can get them to see sense regarding the Reapers. Baby steps.” She sighed, and Garrus marveled as the stray locks of red hair dangling in front of her face fluttered with her breath. Even the minute things about her never failed to amaze him, even at the most inopportune moments. His eyes wandered for a moment to the quickly fading scar on her temple, the last reminder of their recent battle, just barely visible now.
“If he says so.” Garrus managed to pick up the pieces of his attention and get back to the conversation at hand.
“Well, I was thinking…” She trailed off for a moment, looking away with an odd expression on her face. It was almost unsure, though Garrus couldn’t think of a single time in which Jane Shepard had ever seemed unsure. When she looked back at him, her eyes had an intensity to them that made him shiver. “You could come with us.” The silence hung thick in the air between them, and for a moment, nothing else seemed to exist in the galaxy for Garrus except the two of them. She held his eyes with hers and he couldn’t have pulled away if he’d wanted to. After a moment, he felt himself smile as warmth spread through his chest and up his neck. It felt something akin to… hope.
“How could I say no to a request like that?” Her answering grin did nothing to help the fluttering in his chest or the tightening in his abdomen.
Garrus didn’t really have a word that accurately described the past few weeks. Shepard had been confused but pleased to keep Garrus aboard for the time being, happy to have his help, or at least his company, for their somewhat low key geth mop up missions. They’d left the Citadel once the Normandy’s repairs were complete, and Garrus’ message from his father remained untouched in his inbox.
The tension and anxiety that dogged them during their hunt for Saren was gone, leaving them with the almost carefree sensation of being on vacation. And yet, the looming threat of the Reapers on the horizon made their small, low risk missions seem pointless and hollow, leaving many of the crew feeling antsy nonetheless
Nearly a month after the battle at the Citadel found them entering orbit around the planet of Alchera. They’d been searching the surrounding sector for nearly a week without any luck, even though a number of ships had recently disappeared in the area. Regardless of the frustration radiating through the Normandy, Shepard had ordered the ground team to suit up in hopes that they would finally find something, anything .
Garrus stood before his locker in the cargo bay, lost in thought as he pulled out, checked, and holstered his weapons one by one on auto pilot. His eyes kept flicking over to watch as Jane did the same beside him, their silence a companionable one as their bodies relied on muscle memory to complete the familiar movements. The further away they got from the events with Saren on the Citadel, the more his mind kept returning to his feelings for Jane. Or rather, to what he should do about them.
Before Ilos, he’d heard Jane tell Kaidan that she hadn’t been interested in a relationship, that it hadn’t been a good time. But now that that was all over, had the situation changed? He still wasn’t terribly good at reading humans, it was possible he’d missed something, some sort of signal or tell. Could she possibly have any interest in there being… something between them now?
Garrus didn’t generally consider himself a coward, and yet when it came to Jane, he seemed completely unable to come to the point. In a way, he almost missed the days when he saw her as nothing more than a friend, it had been so much more simple then. But now, if he wasn’t forcing himself to focus, he ended up stuck in the middle of day dream about her, about being with her. It felt like his mind was no longer his own, his heart was no longer his own. The more time he spent in her orbit, the more they belonged to her.
A locker door shut suddenly, causing him to look up, and their eyes met. Jane had so many different smiles. Sarcastic ones, smug ones, mocking ones, kind ones. But the warmth of the one that graced her face as she looked up at him made his pulse quicken and his mouth run dry.
“Jane…” Her name was out of his mouth before he knew what was happening, but he couldn’t rip his eyes away from hers.
“Hm?” She cocked her head to the side slightly, and Garrus tried to swallow down the lump forming in his throat. Feeling a sudden burst of courage, he decided just to do it. To put himself out there. What was the worst that could happen?
“Jane, I-”
The world exploded, flinging them both to the floor in a heap. His head swimming, Garrus struggled back to his feet as the alarm sounded, echoing around the cargo bay.
“What was that?” Jane asked, her voice tight as she pulled herself up.
“I don’t know.” Another smaller explosion shook them, causing them to grab the lockers for support. “Are we under attack?!”
“I don’t know, we need to get up to the CIC!” Jane yelled as the Normandy groaned under the strain of the beating it was receiving. Grabbing their helmets, they ran for the elevator only to be sent sprawling to the floor again as a third explosion shook the ship. Just ahead of him Jane collided with a cargo crate with a sickening crack , followed by a string of curses, some of which didn’t even make it through his translator.
“Jane, are you okay?!” Garrus called out as he hurried over to her, wincing as she grabbed her arm where she lay, her eyes squeezed shut and her teeth bared in a snarl of pain. He managed to roll her off her injured arm and she flung her head back with another batch of curses before she forced herself to take a series of deep breaths. Looking down at her arm, even with her armor, it seemed to hang wrong, and he immediately recognized a bad break.
“We’ve-” She gasped in pain as she slowly attempted to sit up, “We’ve got to get to the elevator.” Garrus nodded, grabbing her under her good arm and pulling her to her feet. Slinging that arm over his shoulder as best he could given their height difference, he hauled her into the elevator. Pushing the button, he braced them against the wall just in time for another series of explosions. Jane was breathing hard, her face pale and sweat breaking out on her forehead. Her eyes were bright and determined, however, as she fought the pain.
As soon as the door opened, they were thrust into chaos as crew members ran past, screams echoing down the hall. Garrus pulled Jane out of the elevator and they were nearly bowled over by Ashley as she ran past without a word, fire extinguisher in hand. The alarm continued to sound, debris from the explosions littering the floor. The ship shook, this time without an accompanying explosion, and Garrus knew that one of the life pods must have just detached.
“Garrus!” He turned to see Shepard running towards them and felt a wave of relief. “Oh God, Jane, are you alright?!” Kaidan came hurtling up behind Shepard, skidding to a stop just beside him, a fire extinguisher also clutched in his hands.
“I’m fine.” Jane managed to get out, attempting to pull her arm back off of Garrus and wincing as she clutched her injured arm to her side.
“The hell you are. Garrus, get her to a life pod.” With a nod, Garrus tried to get Jane’s arm back over his shoulder, but she pulled back again.
“Where are you going, John? You need to get to a life pod, too!” Jane yelled, her eyes narrowing behind her helmet’s visor.
“I just launched the distress beacon, but Joker is still in the cockpit. I’m going after him.” John explained hurriedly, lurching forward to brace Jane through another explosion before turning to leave.
“I’m going with you!” Jane’s good arm came up to grab Shepard’s wrist causing him to freeze.
“The hell you are! Get to the goddamn life pod!” Yet another explosion. “Garrus, Kaidan, put her on a life pod right now. That’s an order!”
“John, don’t you fucking dare!” Shepard ripped his arm away and turned to run toward the stairwell up to the CIC. Jane lurched forward, but Kaidan dropped the fire extinguisher to lift his hands to block her way. They all nearly lost their footing with another explosion, and Garrus wrapped an arm around her middle, picking her up. “JOHN!” Jane screamed and kicked, trying to break free, but Garrus held firm.
“Jane, you’re injured, we need to get out of here! He’ll be fine, we need to go now !” Garrus yelled as he pulled her close and he took off as fast as he could toward the nearest life pod. Kaidan pulled in front of him, leading the way. Jane continued to beat her good fist against Garrus’ back, her knee catching him painfully under the chin, even with his helmet on. She began screaming obscenities and threats at him, half of which were drowned out by screams of other crew members as they hurried down the hall.
“Let go of me this instant, Garrus, or I swear to God I’ll-!”
“Hurry!” Kadain hollered as he leapt forward into the nearest life pod hatch before turning and offering Garrus a hand. With a grunt, Garrus attempted to hurl Jane through the hatch, but she threw out her good arm to catch the lip. Kaidan leaned forward and grabbed her hand, forcing her fingers to let go. Together, they forced her into one of the chairs, buckling her in as she thrashed, her teeth bared in a furious snarl, her eyes flashing in rage.
The rest of the seats were quickly filled by other crew members as they flung themselves through the hatch. Once it was completely filled, Kaidan smashed the launch button, causing the doors to snap shut. The entire pod shook violently as it fired off, flinging them into space. With a scream of frustration, Jane finally stilled, her shoulders heaving as she breathed heavily, her good arm bracing her broken one.
As they lapsed into a tense silence, Garrus suddenly became aware of the chatter going on over the ship’s coms in his helmet.
“ -I can still save her!” Joker was yelling, his voice manic and frantic.
“ The Normandy is lost. ” Shepard pleaded, his voice thick with emotion, “ Going down with the ship won’t change that.” Garrus noticed Jane’s head snap up, clearly having keyed in on her brother’s voice as well. There was a long, uneasy moment before they heard a reply.
“ Yeah… Okay. Help me up. ” Jane took a relieved breath at Joker’s words, but then they all froze as he continued. “ Wait, they’re coming around for another attack!”
“John! Get out of there!” Jane ordered into the com without hesitation. “Grab Joker and GO!”
“Ah! Watch the arm!” Joker wailed as Shepard grunted, clearly having manhandled the fragile pilot. Everyone in the life pod seemed to be on pins and needles, but none as much as Jane, who seemed to nearly vibrate with anxiety.
After a few moments and more than a few gasped and muttered curses from Joker, Garrus began to hope that they’d made it to the cockpit’s emergency life pod. Until Joker’s strangled cry broke upon their ears.
“ Commander! ” Joker’s voice cracked, laced with fear, “ SHEPARD!” The heartbreak in his anguished voice was nearly enough to freeze Garrus’ heart in his chest.
“John! What happened?! Joker, tell me what’s going on!” Jane barked into the com, her voice only barely masking the unadulterated panic under the surface. The only response was Joker’s muffled sobs.
“Shepard, come in! Shepard, do you read me?!” Kaidan cried out into the coms from where he was buckled in beside Garrus, nearly in unison with Ashley’s from whichever life pod she’d made it into. Their words were met with silence for a few long moments until Joker’s quiet, broken voice answered.
“ Shepard. He-” His voice hitched, and when he continued, it was empty, lifeless, “ He didn’t make it.”
“John? John! You’re not allowed to die, you can’t leave me!” Jane’s voice cracked as she balled her fingers into a fist, driving it down into her thigh. “You can’t die! Not like this-” Her voice cut out as though she’d cut her com connection suddenly, her shoulders shaking silently.
“ He’s gone. I’m so sorry, Jane. I-” He took a shuddering breath and sobbed, “I’m so, so sorry. It’s all my fault.”
The life pod was silent again, no one moving, as the truth slowly sank in. Garrus shut his eyes, the shock and horror of the situation finally starting to settle upon him. It all happened so suddenly, everything had been fine mere minutes ago. How had it all gone so wrong so fast? What had even happened? After a few minutes of stunned silence, he looked up, wishing he could reach Jane across the pod to offer her comfort. As his eyes found hers, he felt as though a belt had tightened across his chest and he drew back.
Jane stared blankly, her eyes wide as they fixated on something deep within herself, tears visible even from within her helmet as they silently trickled down her cheeks. She’d gone completely still and limp, her head leaning against the harness buckling her in, the complete vision of utter despondency.
Their escape pod drifted aimlessly off into space as their home and loved ones burned, the only sounds around him were the soft sobs of injured and heartbroken crew members and the echoing silence of cold, cruel despair.
Chapter 23: Part 1: Chapter 21
Summary:
In which Garrus struggles, though not as much as some.
Notes:
Slight trigger warning for struggles with PTSD, but I don't think it's super detailed.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 1
Chapter 21
The Citadel, 1 Month Later
As Garrus stepped into the club, he was immediately assaulted by bright lights, loud music, and a crowd of people, causing him to stop in his tracks. For a split second, he saw instead the red emergency lighting, explosions, and splatters of blood as screams ripped the air. He nearly staggered as panic threatened to choke him and he ducked back out of the door for a moment to ground himself in an attempt to control the episode.
Taking a handful of deep breaths, he tried to force himself to notice the surrounding details. Slowly, he finally started to feel himself calm enough that he felt comfortable trying again and hesitantly stepped through the door. Prepared this time, he tried to narrow his focus to the bar in the back, and after a moment of searching he saw the brown hair pulled back in a bun that he was searching for.
“Ashley. Good to see you.” Garrus said as cheerfully as he could manage as he fell into the stool next to the soldier. She looked up, and Garrus noticed with concern the dark circles under her eyes, which he’d come to associate with lack of sleep in humans. She smiled wearily and tipped her drink to him in greeting.
“Good to see you, too, Garrus.”
“Thanks for agreeing to meet up, I haven’t gotten many chances to see many of the others lately.”
“No worries, I can always do with a drink.” With that, she threw back what was left of her beer and signaled the bar keeper for another. “How are you holding up?” Garrus hesitated, his mind going back to the sleepless nights, the nightmares, the flashbacks, the dissociative episodes…
“Doing as well as the rest, I suppose.” Ashley snorted at that before taking a sip of her new drink.
“Yeah, tell me about it…” She replied with a sigh, and Garrus knew she understood first hand exactly what he’d been going through. They all did.
“Have you seen many of the others recently?” Garrus couldn’t bring himself to ask about Jane, even though she never seemed to leave his thoughts. He’d been trying to get a hold of her, but she hadn’t responded to any of his attempts. He’d had to be content with second hand accounts of her well being, such as it was.
“Not too many others. I saw Kaidan last week, he’s mostly keeping it together.” Ashley murmured, taking a deep draft from her newly opened drink. She seemed to hesitate for a moment before glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. “And I saw Jane yesterday.” Garrus felt his breath hitch slightly in surprise, but did his best to remain impassive. No one seemed to have seen much of her, and he was desperate for information.
“How’s she doing?” He asked cautiously, and Ashley sighed before putting her drink down.
“She- she’s struggling. Understandably. I don’t think she has many healthy coping mechanisms. Definitely drinking her sorrows away. I’m not really sure what to do, she usually refuses to see me, or anyone for that matter.” Garrus felt himself sag at the news and brought a hand up to his face as he sighed in frustration at how powerless he felt. If she wouldn’t see him or even respond to his messages, how was he supposed to help her?
“... I see.” He replied after a moment when it seemed Ashley had little left to add.
“I’m sorry Garrus, I wish I could tell you more, but she didn’t let me stay long. She only let me in because Anderson sent me to check on her.”
“No, I understand. Thanks for letting me know, for what it's worth.”
“Also, I don’t think they’ve made an announcement yet, but Anderson let me know that the Alliance has officially declared Shepard as Killed in Action.” The statement sat heavily between the two soldiers, and Garrus felt sick as he digested it. He shut his eyes and sighed, feeling mourning cords threatening to hum in his sub vocals. “The memorial service is going to be held in about a week, I believe. They’ll send around the official announcement soon, I’m sure. Just thought you ought to hear it from a friend, first.”
“Thanks, Ashley.”
Shepard… It was as though the scab had been ripped off, the wound fresh again. It still didn’t quite feel real, even after so many weeks.
When the day of the memorial finally arrived, Garrus wasn’t sure if time had flashed by or crept at a crawl. He’d been both dreading and looking forward to the day. Saying goodbye to Shepard was going to be one of the most painful and difficult experiences of his life, he already knew that. But he was going to see Jane again after weeks of worrying about and missing her.
The memorial was being held on the Presidium, though he knew there would be other, smaller memorial services held both on Earth and on Elysium. When he first arrived at the green where all the chairs were set up for the service, he’d been somewhat relieved. It was such an open and bright space, there was no way he was going to have an episode there. The last thing he wanted was to make a spectacle at a time like that.
But as people started arriving, milling about and chatting, it started to become harder and harder to breathe. The familiar faces of the surviving crew members became painful to look at, even as he tried to smile, nod, and participate in the expected small talk. Garrus could already feel himself starting to dissociate as he fought the onset of memories he desperately didn’t want to think about. It was as if he were sitting in the back of his own head, no longer piloting, just watching like a spectator as his body went through the motions.
He tried to preoccupy himself with watching for Jane’s telltale flash of red hair, but to his disappointment, she didn’t arrive until right before it started, leaving him no chance to seek her out. He’d never been to a human memorial service before, and he didn’t really know what to expect, though he wasn’t surprised to see that Jane had been led to a seat right up front, being Shepard’s only surviving family member.
The part of him that was sitting detached in the back of his own head noted vaguely that the service itself was an interesting lesson in human culture, though somewhat shorter than he expected for such a long winded species. There were a few pretty speeches about Shepard’s virtues, accomplishments, and service records, but they all rang hollow from people such as Udina, who frankly had a lot of nerve to get up and talk about Shepard after everything.
It wasn’t until Councilor Anderson’s turn that Garrus started to feel like the entire thing wasn’t an insult to Shepard’s memory. As he spoke, it was clear that the man had known Shepard for years, had served with him, and respected him deeply. Finally, Anderson, who appeared to be profoundly affected, took a deep inhale, collected himself, and finished his speech with a line that stuck with Garrus.
“...Soldiers like the Commander are rare. Men like Shepard… even more rare.”
Once Anderson had made his way back to his seat, a line of soldiers slowly marched forward. Garrus noticed after a moment that they seemed to be holding some very out of style rifles before they stopped and lifted them in sync. He nearly jumped out of his seat, along with many others, as ear splitting cracks broke the silence, cutting through the bright, open space of the Presidium. After a moment, the sharp tang of gunpowder wafted through the air, adding to the strange dissonance of the experience. It was so similar to certain turian customs, and yet so wildly different in the details. Just as he thought the cracks were going to split his head in two, they stopped as suddenly as they had begun, leaving nothing but the tense, echoing silence.
A single man stood up, then, and held a small, brass instrument up to his lips, and Garrus realized suddenly that everyone around him had stood as well, and he quickly joined them. As the man began to play his song into the silence, it felt as though each note echoed the gravity of the despair in the air. The song was doleful, slow, and nearly haunting in the way each note seemed to waver. As it went on, it seemed to resonate with the grief in his chest, making it hard to breathe again.
Garrus was so distracted by the song that it was half over before he realized that a number of soldiers up front were busy folding some sort of flag in an intricate pattern. It seemed like a very deliberate display, and he couldn’t help but wonder at the purpose. He didn’t have long to wonder, though, for as the last notes of the song dissipated, a soldier turned to face the assembled crowd, the flag folded into a tight triangle in his arms. After a few, slow, deliberate steps forward, the man stopped solemnly in front of Jane.
The man held the flag out to her, and with deceptive calm, she took the flag, holding it close as the soldier saluted her before turning and marching away. The ceremony ended soon after, but Garrus couldn’t tear his eyes away from his red headed friend. As people started to file out of the rows of seats, he did his best to weave his way around them toward his quarry. But by the time he made it up front, she was long gone, hurrying away toward a path leading away from the green.
“Jane!” Garrus called out, dodging around people, throwing a hand in the air in hopes that she’d turn and notice him. To his confusion, instead of stopping she only seemed to stiffen before picking up her pace. “Jane, wait up!” He broke into a run until he managed to catch up and reached for her in an attempt to slow her down.
“Leave me alone, Vakarian.” Jane jerked her hand away just as they touched as though burned, and they both came to a stop. She turned to partially face him, and he got his first good look at her in a month.
To say Jane was not herself was an understatement, and Garrus could see what Ashley meant when she’d said Jane was struggling. The first thing he noticed was that her hair, which usually shone a vibrant red, seemed dull, limp, and disheveled, as though she hadn’t done more than run her fingers through it that morning. Her face appeared thinner than usual and her Alliance dress uniform, though impeccable, seemed to hang on her in a way that suggested she’d lost weight recently. The arm not holding the flag was clutched to her tightly, still wrapped in a brace as the bones healed.
When her eyes finally met his, he felt his heart sink. Her green eyes, usually adorned with vivacity, life, and spirit, were currently dull, listless, and leaden. They were rimmed with dark circles, and though they lacked the redness that he associated with recent crying, her jaw was tensed in a way that suggested she was exhibiting as much control as she currently was able.
“Jane…” Garrus took a small step closer to the woman before him and she almost seemed to flinch, her eyes narrowing slightly. “You haven’t been answering my messages, I’ve been worried about you. Is there anything I can do?”
“Just leave.” The words cut through him, but he took a deep breath and tried to ignore the pain.
“I just want to help, I know you’re going through a lot right now.” Her eyes flashed and for a second, he saw a little of her old self there.
“ Really? And what, exactly, do you know about what I’m going through right now? When have you ever been through something similar?” Jane spat, her shoulders squaring as she finally turned to face him completely, her lip curling up almost into a sneer.
“Where is this coming from? I know you’re hurting right now, we all are, but-”
“Don’t give me that shit, I’m sick and tired of it. I lost my brother. My only family . I don’t want to hear empty platitudes anymore.” She snapped with disgust, and with that she sharply turned to leave, clutching the folded flag to her side tightly. Garrus stood there in shocked silence for a moment before lurching forward into a trot.
“Jane, don’t-” He tried to grab her arm again to slow her, but when he made to close his fingers, she jerked around very quickly and her hands collided with his chest, shoving him backwards violently as the flag fell to the ground at her feet.
“No, YOU don’t! I don’t want to see your fucking face right now, Vakarian! I have nothing to say to you!" Garrus stumbled but managed to stay on his feet, bringing his hands up in front of him in a peace offering. Confusion swam through him and his mind quickly started running through all their previous interactions, trying to pinpoint what had started this.
"I don't under-" Jane took another step toward him, her stance clearly aggressive as she seemed to be succumbing to the anger seething beneath her skin.
"You don't understand? Fuck you and fuck Kaidan, I don't want anything to do with either of you. My brother might still be alive today if not for both of you !” Jane yelled, her eyes gleaming with barely controlled rage. Her words washed over him like a wave and he felt cold confusion start to bloom into indignant anger.
“How can you say that?! That’s insane, I had nothing to do with Shepard’s death!” They were starting to attract notice from others nearby, but neither of them paid them any mind. Jane’s eyes seemed to spit fire and he found it impossible to look away, her gaze pinning him.
“ Nothing?! If you hadn’t dragged me off the Normandy, I could have done something, I could have protected him! He didn’t have to die, I could have been there for him!” The flood gates seemed to shatter and the tears that had been threatening to fall started trickling down her cheeks as she flung her arms out in outrage. “I should have been there to protect him, and I wasn’t because of you! My brother died alone because of you !”
“That’s not true! If you had gone after him, you would probably be dead, too!” Garrus felt the heat of his own anger starting to boil at the baseless accusations, especially coming from someone he’d previously thought he’d known so well.
“I should be dead right now, not John! I should have been the one to die above Alchera, not him !” Her eyes were wide now, the tears still streaming down her cheeks. "It should have been ME !" The words hung in the air between them, and after a moment, Garrus took a slow step closer. He felt the anger melt away as dawning realization set in, having seen the rot of survivor's guilt before.
“Jane, you can’t save everyone. Shepard was right, you always put your life at risk to protect others.” He took another step forward and reached up to put a hand on her shaking shoulder hesitantly, ”But your brother wouldn’t have wanted you to sacrifice yourself for him.”
Pain exploded across his head and the world spun as her fist collided with his face, sending him stumbling to the side.
“You have NO right to tell me what John would have wanted!” Jane screamed in fury, and when he managed to look up, his hand clutching his throbbing mandible, he saw that Ashley and Tali had darted forward, each grabbing one of Jane’s arms. They wrestled with her as she tried to break free, her eyes wild with rage as she attempted to come at him again.
“LT, this is not the place. Shepard would not have wanted this.” Ashley shot at her, and after another moment of grappling, Jane finally relented. Once they were sure she had calmed down enough, they let her shake them off. Tali bent down to pick up Jane’s folded flag, cradling it for a moment before brushing a few streay blades of grass from it.
Garrus was still reeling in shock, and if his face hadn’t been in so much pain, he never would have been able to believe what had happened. It was suddenly difficult to breathe and he felt a hard lump in the back of his throat. As Jane’s eyes met his again, he felt something in him crack at the hard, disdainful look she shot him.
“Leave me alone, Vakarian. I don’t want to see your face again. Stop trying to contact me, we’re done .” The words were like a shot through the heart, and suddenly Garrus could understand the pain that supposedly killed the fictional heartbroken heroes in his sister’s silly romance novels. He just stood there, speechless, as Jane turned sharply and walked toward Tali, taking the flag without another word, and strode off toward the nearby entrance to Bachjret Ward.
A voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to run after her, but it was almost as if he was experiencing one of the dissociative episodes again. His feet were rooted to the spot as though he had no actual control over his limbs. After a few moments, he realized people around him were talking, and someone was talking to him in particular.
“Garrus? Are you alright?” Tali had stepped forward toward him, a hesitant hand coming up to lightly pat his arm.
“What? Oh. Yeah. Everything's fine. I’m-” Garrus swallowed, suddenly horribly aware of the fact that everyone was looking at him. A little ways off, Kaidan stood with a stunned and hurt expression on his face, beside him was Wrex, staring after Jane with a raised brow. All of a sudden, he became desperate to be alone. “I should go. I’ll see you around.” He made his escape, not really sure where his feet were taking him, only knowing that he wanted to be gone. He had shards of tender feelings wedged in sensitive places that he needed to slowly start working free. Somehow.
Hours later, his feet finally found their way back to his apartment. He walked through the door and just stood there in the dark for spirits knew how long, still in shock over the events of the day. After a few minutes, he walked over to the shelf he kept a number of framed photos on. The backlit screens emitted a soft light as they displayed a series of familiar faces smiling up at him. His mother, father, and sister… His C-Sec academy graduation… The Normandy, a few of various groups of crew members… Shepard… Jane and himself, heads nearly brushing each other’s as she pulled him close for the photo, goofy grins evidence of a particularly fun shore leave.
With a scream of pain and rage, his arm swiped across the shelf, throwing all the photos to the floor. He paced back and forth for a moment before sitting down upon his bed, his elbows propped on his knees, his head in his hands. Deep in the back of his throat, he could feel the keening of his sub vocals as he let the waves of grief and anguish wash over him.
It wasn't until a week or two later that Garrus started to feel like he could do more than the bare minimum to get through the day. The loss of Shepard, the Normandy and so much of its crew, and then finally the end of his friendship with Jane had taken a toll on him. He was also struggling with what the doctor had told him was most likely PTSD, which just made everything more difficult.
It was a visit from his dad that finally got him moving forward, albeit somewhat begrudgingly. The older man had been surprisingly gentle and understanding, in his own way, and Garrus supposed he’d seen his fair share of loss over the years. But the message had been clear: It was time to get off his ass and get back to work. Apparently that was the only way to start feeling better.
Which was how Garrus found himself sitting in his father’s office at C-Sec, filling out forms to be reinstated on the force. It was taking a frustratingly long time to get through all the paperwork, but he shouldn’t have been surprised. That was always the way of things here. His father was going over events that Garrus had missed such as changes to policies, people who’d been promoted or demoted, and major cases, but Garrus was having issues dredging up enough interest to care.
“Okay, but what about the Reapers? What’s being done about them?” Garrus cut in, prompting his father’s jaw to snap shut with a raised brow plate.
“As far as I know, the council has recently voted to shelf the matter of the ‘Reapers’.” The words were spoken evenly, but the message carried via subvocals was that of irritated disdain for the topic.
“ What?! ” Garrus shot to his feet, unsure if what he was feeling was more fear or anger.
“I know you have some sort of inexplicable loyalty to Shepard, but you must understand that, on this topic at least, most of us are agreed. The Reapers were clearly just a lie Saren told to control the geth.” Garrus felt his mandibles flick with irate disbelief and he stepped forward to smack his hands down on his father’s desk.
“You have got to be kidding me! I was there, I heard Sovereign speak to Shepard. The Reapers are real and they are coming .”
“Garrus, calm down. See it from our perspec-”
“ No . I was on Ilos with Shepard, I met the Prothean VI, it told us all about how the Reapers wiped them out. If we don’t act now, the same thing will happen to us! I’ve seen the proof, these aren’t just Shepard’s ‘delusions’, it’s the truth!”
“I’m not saying I don’t believe you, but you must understand how far-fetched this all sounds.” His father remained sitting at his desk, leaning back slightly, his arms crossed before his chest. The even calmness in his voice and subvocals did nothing but enrage Garrus further. Pushing back away from the desk, Garrus threw his arms in the air in defeat.
“You know what? Screw this. I’m leaving, I’m not sure why I thought this place was going to be any different this time around. None of you ever have what it takes to go after the real problems.” With that, Garrus turned and left the office, leaving the forms and paperwork half filled behind him.
“Garrus, stop. Let’s talk ab-” The door shut behind him, and Garrus didn’t look back.
When he got home, he couldn’t stop pacing his apartment like a trapped and cornered animal. An unsettled, maddening energy buzzed just beneath his skin and he itched to release it somehow. Rage coiled in his belly with no outlet, and suddenly it felt like it had been building up since the attack on the Normandy, though it had become increasingly difficult to manage since the memorial service.
He had to get out, he had to go somewhere, do something . His first thought was to head out to the bar, get some drinks, but he immediately shot the idea down. He’d been avoiding that outlet recently, as it kept bringing up memories of recent shore leaves that he’d rather not haunt him at the moment.
Stopping for a moment, Garrus gazed out the window at the Ward stretching out into the distance. As the cars flying by gleamed and the lights below flashed up at him, he couldn’t help the upswell of disgust coursing through him. The entire station was built upon a pack of lies and hypocrisies and it made him sick. The only person he’d ever met that had ever managed to truly have a positive effect on the world was dead now, and the world seemed like such a bleaker place for it, most of all the Citadel.
He couldn’t stay here . The thought seemed to echo through his head, getting louder each time it rebounded at him. He had to get out, to leave, to go somewhere where he could actually do some sort of good.
There’s a time and place for people like you and me and the way we prefer to do things. The words drifted back to him from what felt like eons ago. The words Jane had uttered to him back when he was still grappling with the aftermath of the Saleon incident.
Maybe now was the time, and all he had to do was find the place. It wouldn’t be hard to follow the trails from some of his old cases that he hadn’t been allowed to pursue before. No doubt they’d lead to plenty of dark corners throughout the galaxy where he could actually do some good. It was only a matter of a little foot work.
As he stepped onto the ship heading toward the Terminus Systems, he took one last look out over the Wards of the Citadel. It all seemed so oddly anticlimactic. He’d been trying not to second guess himself, trying not to listen to the small voice whispering that he was fleeing. It kept murmuring that running away from people and fights he didn’t want to face was an insult to Shepard’s memory. The Reapers weren’t going to stop their invasion simply because Garrus decided to say “fuck you” to red tape and bureaucracy…
But then, for a split second, he was back upon the crumbling Normandy, screams only drowned out by the explosions around him, and a pair of furious green eyes cut through him like a knife, peeling the plates back and driving right into his heart.
Even after everything, he couldn’t be angry at her, only anguished at how powerless he was, both to help her and to stop their friendship from being slashed to pieces within an instant. Spirits, he wished he could have said goodbye to her one last time. Refocusing his eyes, he glanced at the small set of numbers in the corner of his visor.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 210]
[JS: 215]
He’d tried a handful of times to delete the display, but each time he couldn’t bring himself to do it. The numbers hadn’t changed since before the Normandy’s destruction, and it just sat there, a constant reminder of a life he no longer lived. A life that had been ripped away in the blink of an eye.
Taking a deep breath, Garrus tore his eyes away and stepped aboard the ship. No looking back.
Chapter 24: Part 2: Prologue
Summary:
In which Jane receives an offer she can't decline.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Prologue
The Citadel, 6 Months Later
“ Approaching Dock 124, prepare to engage airlock.”
Jane Shepard took a deep breath as she ignored the announcement from where she sat on her bunk, forearms resting upon her knees. Her head hung, her shoulders tense as she gazed down at a cloth wrapped bundle cradled in open palms. Taking a deep breath, she slipped her thumb into the folds and gave it a quick flick to reveal the star shaped medal. She just stared at it for a moment, letting the usual emotions wash over her before letting her thumb run over the now familiar lines and grooves of the Star of Terra.
They’d given it to her along with her brother’s other effects shortly after his death, and though she knew its place was in a case on the wall or the like, she couldn’t bring herself to part with it. She didn’t have many things with which to remember John, as he’d been somewhat of a minimalist, common for lifers in the military. He’d received it after his heroism during the Skyllian Blitz, and in Jane’s mind it had come to represent all the virtues that made up John Shepard. His bravery, his selflessness, his kindness, his faith in the goodness of others, his determination, his desire to always do the right thing-
Her breath hitched as she felt the familiar tightening in her throat, the pricks at the corners of her eyes. Flicking the fabric back over the Star, she lifted a hand to pinch the bridge of her nose as she took a deep breath. After a moment, she pursed her lips and scrubbed at the moisture in her eyes.
She was Lieutenant Commander fucking Shepard. She didn’t have time to cry, not anymore.
There had been a rough few weeks after John’s death where she’d allowed herself to fall apart. That entire time was a bit of a blur at this point, which she wasn’t really sorry about. It’d taken time before she’d been able to get her feet under herself somewhat, at which point she’d dived into her work, accepting a series of missions that had kept her busy and too exhausted to dwell on her pain.
Nearly seven months after the death of her brother, she was starting to feel a little like her old self, but it was clear that a part of her died on the Normandy along with him.
Sighing, she stood up and placed the carefully wrapped medal back in her pocket before grabbing her pack and heading for the door. She made her way through the corridors of the Alliance shuttle until she made it to the airlock. Within minutes, she was making her way through the Citadel’s docks.
As she arrived on the Presidium, a painful wave of melancholic nostalgia hit her like a tidal wave, memories assaulting her as her eyes met the familiar sights. She hadn’t been back since she’d left soon after John’s memorial service. Everywhere she looked it seemed like something jumped out that reminded her of him.
Jane didn’t even really know why she was on the Citadel, and it was beginning to aggravate her. She’d received a summons from Anderson requesting her presence for an important meeting along with clearance to take leave from her current posting on Arcturus Station in order to make an immediate trip to the Citadel. She’d requested more information, as she couldn’t think up many positive reasons why she would be requested in person before the human councilor, but her inquiries had been stonewalled. All she knew was that her attendance was all but demanded and she’d been pretty much thrown onto the Citadel bound shuttle as soon as the leave request was processed.
Glancing down at her omni-tool, Jane pulled up the most recent message from Anderson, and realized with surprise that he’d booked her a hotel room instead of letting her crash in one of the many Alliance barracks located on the Citadel. She let out a low whistle and smiled when she noted which hotel it was. Apparently no cost had been spared for her comfort. After a moment, her smile faded and her eyebrows crinkled as she considered the many possible reasons behind the decision to put her up in such a nice hotel. Sighing, she decided to make her way over and drop off her things before seeing if anyone she knew was around to meet up for dinner. Her appointment with Anderson wasn’t until the next day, and she had some time to kill.
Jane made her way over to the nearest public transport console, and as she lounged back in the sky car, her mind started drifting to various friends she had who were posted or lived on the Citadel.
Immediately, her mind landed on Garrus, as it so often did, and red hot shame curdled in her gut. They hadn’t parted on good terms. But soon after the memorial service, Anderson had convinced her to get grief counseling and the therapy had helped her wrap her head around everything that had happened. After getting a better perspective on the events surrounding and following John’s death, she’d quickly begun to realize how deeply she’d fucked up in regards to her turian best friend.
Engulfed in regret and sorrow, she’d tried to contact him a few weeks later, and she wasn’t sure if she was surprised or not that he hadn’t responded. She’d been an unequivocal ass , a complete and utter bastard, and she wasn’t sure if she’d have forgiven herself if she’d been in his shoes, especially after she’d punched him. But the thought of him hating her, of never seeing him again, of never hearing his voice again… it ached more than she’d expected it to.
So she continued trying to convince him to hear her out, but to no avail. Granted, she didn’t actually have any personal contact information for him, only his extranet addresses through C-Sec and the one the Alliance had given him while working as a contractor. She had some vague hopes that perhaps her messages hadn’t managed to find him, but every time she thought back to her mortifying behavior after the memorial service, her hopes that he wasn’t ignoring her sank a little further. Every time she let her thoughts drift back to the blue marked turian, there was a small knife in her heart that twisted a little deeper.
After a few minutes of wallowing in frustrated regrets, she contacted Ashley, who had been stationed on the Citadel for the past few months. She shot her a quick message asking if she’d like to grab dinner and some drinks, and was pleased to see a response before she’d even arrived at the hotel.
AW: Sure, that sounds great! It will be great to catch up. Mind if Alenko tags along? He has a temporary posting here, and I’m sure he’d love to see you, too.
Jane’s smile turned a little tight when she saw the bit about Kaidan, but she shot back a ‘ Sure, sounds good.’ along with a time and place. It wasn’t that she wasn’t looking forward to seeing him, but she still very clearly remembered the horrifyingly awkward conversation they’d had just before Ilos, and she’d made sure to not be alone around him since in hopes of avoiding a similarly awkward situation. But enough time had passed that it would probably be fine, perhaps they could go back to being good friends, former teammates.
It would be good to see them both, everyone who’d been aboard the Normandy was like family after everything they’d been through. No other crew she’d been a part of had felt like that, and she was fairly certain she’d never experience anything like that again.
“Well, if it isn’t Lieutenant Commander Shepard!” Ashley stood as Jane approached the table, offering her a casual salute with a huge grin on her face. Jane couldn’t stop the old, familiar grin from gracing her own face, though it felt oddly stiff from lack of use.
“At ease, soldier.” She drawled good naturedly as she gave Ashely a quick hug before turning and offering the same to Kaidan. “Thanks for meeting me, guys. It’s good to see you both.”
“It’s our pleasure, thanks for letting us know you were going to be around.” Kaidan said warmly, a small smile on his face as he pulled away from the hug before returning to his seat.
“Yeah, and congrats on the promotion!” Ashley added as she also sat down, gesturing to the seat they had saved for Jane.
“Thanks, though it still throws me a little when people call me Commander Shepard. Doesn’t quite feel right, yet.” Jane felt her eyes drop as she joined them at the table, searching out the menu instead of meeting their eyes. There was silence for a moment, and Jane kicked herself for even bringing up the topic. She glanced up to see Ashley and Kaidan exchanging a look.
“You know the Skipper would be proud, don’t you?” Ashley pointed out slowly, her voice hesitant as though stepping on eggshells. Jane sighed, remembering what a mess she’d been the last time she’d seen her two former teammates. She forced the smile to return to her face, trying to reassure the other woman.
“Thanks, Ashley. I’d like to think so, too. I just wish there was more I could be doing to help finish what he started with the investigation into the Reapers. No one cares what I have to say about it. It’s like now that he’s gone they can just shove it under the rug and forget about them.” It was hard to keep the bitter edge out of her voice toward the end, but Kaidan and Ashley both nodded in agreement, their own brows furrowed in equal frustration.
“I know, nothing I say seems to do any good. It’s as if Sovereign and everything it did has been completely forgotten.” Kaidan grumbled as he crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair.
“They’ve all got their heads so far up their own asses that they won’t listen to small fries like us. But if we keep being the squeaky wheel, if we don’t give up, they’ve got to hear us out eventually. We can’t give up on everything Shepard started.” Ashley growled before turning to flag down their server.
After ordering their drinks and meals, the three of them spent the next hour or so laughing and catching up, and Jane felt as though she was closer to being ‘at ease’ than she had in ages. They spent some time reminiscing about their time aboard the Normandy, and though Jane felt a pang every time John’s name came up, she was relieved to see that she could talk about him without the same sharp pain that had accompanied her for most of the past few months.
“-and then Shepard said ‘Don’t worry, Wrex, we’ll pick up some cream for that next time we dock’!” They all burst out laughing, causing looks from a few of the nearby tables, but they’d had enough drinks not to care.
“I think Garrus walked wide of Wrex for like a week after that.” Kaidan chuckled, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye, and Jane felt a completely different pang in her chest at the mention of their turian former teammate. After a moment of internal debate, Jane finally decided to ask.
“How is Garrus? Have either of you seen him recently?” There was silence as both Kaidan and Ashley looked at her with surprise before sharing another silent look, which made Jane furrow her brows in apprehension.
“We were actually hoping that you might know more than us.” Ashley explained after a moment, and Jane quirked an eyebrow in confusion.
“You remember how he and I left it, why would you think I would know anything?”
“Wishful thinking, I suppose.” Kaidan murmured and sighed before continuing, “Neither of us have heard anything from him since shortly after the memorial service. He’d been talking about going back to his old job at C-Sec, but when I checked in there looking for him a few months back, they told me he never ended up taking the job.” Jane felt a slow dread settling in her belly like ice.
“So… Neither of you have seen or heard from him… pretty much since the memorial?” Both of them shook their heads sadly, and Jane forced herself to take a deep breath, her jaw setting with frustration and worry. “So he just, what? Disappeared? I’ve tried reaching out to him, too, but I’ve heard nothing, either. I was so sure he was going to go back to C-Sec after everything…” Jane trailed off, her mind racing with possibilities.
“Jane, I’m sure he’s okay.” Ashley stated with finality, her voice full of confidence that was betrayed by the furrow between her brows. “He’s tough and he’s clever. Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s staying safe.”
“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sure he’s okay.” Jane tried to infuse her voice with more surety than she felt, wishing for a moment that she could derive the same comfort Ashley could from blind faith.
“Shepard! Good to see you. Come in, come in.” Anderson called out warmly as Jane stepped somewhat hesitantly into his spacious office. She readjusted her dress blues before taking his proffered hand in a firm shake. As if she hadn’t been confused enough about the purpose of the meeting, the last minute request that she wear her officer’s dress blues just added more questions.
“Anderson, good to see you, too.” She said with a small smile, affection for the older man warming her voice even with her trepidation regarding the purpose of the meeting.
“Sit down, sit down. Congratulations on your promotion, by the way.” Anderson returned to his seat, resting his arms upon the desk as he folded his hands.
“Thank you, sir.” Jane sat across from him, but couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer. “May I ask what the point of this meeting is, sir?”
“Slow down, we’ll get to that in a moment.” Anderson took a moment to check the time before examining her through slightly narrowed eyes. “How have you been holding up? You look significantly better than the last time I saw you.” Jane couldn’t help but cover up her discomfort with a cough, feeling rising embarrassment for her behavior following John’s death.
“Yes, much better. Thank you for pushing me to get help, sir.” She left it at that, not feeling like diving into the topic further, but wanting to convey her gratitude, nonetheless.
“Of course, I’m glad it helped. From the looks of it, you’ve been doing much better. You’ve been busy the past few months.” With that, Anderson shifted over to his computer, pulling up what she imagined must be her records and files.
“It helps to keep busy.” Jane stated as she felt her back straighten a little under the scrutiny.
“That’s good. I’m proud of you, you’ve been through a lot the past year.”
“Thank you, sir.” They continued to catch up and exchange small talk for a little while. Just as Jane was starting to feel utterly confused as to why she’d been hauled across the galaxy for this meeting, Anderson checked the time again before standing up.
“Okay, looks like it's time for us to get moving, this is not a meeting we want to be late for.” With that, he stood and made his way to the door. Still enveloped in mounting confusion, Jane did her best to keep her concern masked by a blank expression as she rose to follow him out of the room.
She kept a respectful step behind him as he led her down the corridor, voices echoing down from the lobby. Various people were heading about their business in one way or another and none paid them any mind until they approached the main Spectre office. Jane immediately noticed the asari leaning against the wall beside the door, and tried not to stiffen as their eyes locked.
The asari was staring at her, her eyes narrowed and a small predatory smirk gracing her lips. Her face was adorned with a series of purple markings, particularly around her eyes, which gleamed with unspoken challenge as she watched the two humans walk past. Jane kept her gaze locked with the asari, keeping her face impassive except for perhaps a slight narrowing of her own eyes. Just before tearing her gaze away as she continued past her, Jane could have sworn the asari looked almost amused , which honestly just pissed her off a little.
“Who the hell was that ?” Jane whispered as she picked up her pace to stride beside Anderson.
“Don’t worry about it right now. We’re here.” Anderson stopped at another door, and Jane looked up to see that it was the office of the asari councilor. The door opened, and Jane felt her eyes widen in surprise as she saw all three councilors standing around the desk. They looked up as the two humans entered.
“Ah, Anderson, Shepard. Just in time. Welcome.” Tevos said neutrally as she gestured to the seating around a nearby low table. The councilors made their way over and sat, leaving two seats open for Anderson and Jane.
“Of course.” Anderson made his way over and sat down, leaving Jane standing in shocked silence.
“I didn’t realize this meeting would be with the… entire council.” She murmured after a moment, slowly following after and lowering herself into the last free seat with care. Her eyes flicked from face to face, trying to read their blank expressions to find any sort of hint as to the purpose of the meeting, but finding nothing. “Thank you for having me, it’s an honor to be here.” She bowed her head slightly, trying to mask her anxiety behind respect.
“Thank you for joining us here today, Commander. We realize that we dragged you all the way here with very little information, for which we apologize. But we hope that the accommodations have been to your liking?” Tevos smiled at her, but Jane felt her eyes narrow as she noted that the smile never reached the asari’s eyes.
“We heard about your recent promotion, congratulations Commander.” Valern added before continuing, “We were not terribly surprised, especially after your service during the Battle of the Cita-”
“I don’t mean to be rude, but why am I here?” Jane cut in, her frustration at the small talk bubbling up and overflowing. Beside her, she saw out of the corner as Anderson raised a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, most likely in frustration or exasperation. Across from her, Sparatus raised a brow plate and crossed his arms.
“This one is even less diplomatic and circumspect than her brother, and that’s saying something.” He grunted as his mandibles flicked with irritation. Valern looked over at the turian, his large eyes blinking before he returned his gaze to Jane.
“Well, right to it, then. We have been looking over your rather impressive service history and, coupled with a recommendation from Anderson, we would like to consider you for the position of Spectre.” The room was silent after the pronouncement, and Jane fought to keep her features passive as shock threatened to overwhelm her. Silence seemed to echo as they looked at her expectantly, the seconds dragging on.
“Why?” Was all she managed to get out, her eyes flicking between all four of the councilors one by one. They glanced between themselves before focusing on her again. Jane could swear there was enough tension in the room to cut with a knife. How on earth was she the most qualified person for the job? John, she could understand. He had been a goddamn war hero on top of being an exemplary soldier. He had literally stood between an army and the innocents and lived to tell the tale. He was the honest-to-God best humanity had to offer. What was she other than an infiltration and tech specialist?
“We’re still interested in including humans amongst the Spectres, particularly in light of your brother’s outstanding service. You have an excellent service record and we believe you would be a good candidate.” Tevos explained carefully, her voice even as she gestured openly with both hands. Jane immediately felt ire and indignation welling in her chest as she took a deep inhale, her eyes widening. As the anger mounted, she felt warnings go off somewhere in the back of her head, something that sounded vaguely like John whispered for her to calm down.
“I’m not just some… some replacement Shepard for you simply because my brother died! ” Jane spat, her voice sharp as she fought to keep herself from outright yelling at the incredibly powerful people arrayed before her. She felt her hands ball into fists where they rested upon each of her knees, her neatly trimmed nails biting into her palms. The councilors exchanged yet another series of glances, only causing Jane to glare at them harder.
“We understand why you are upset. Please understand that that was not our intention in making you this offer.” Tevos’ level voice explained as she held her hands up as an offer of peace.
“I find it rather suspicious, then, that you’re making me this offer so soon after my brother’s death. What reason could you possibly have for your interest in me if not for my name? I’m not famous like my brother, and if you are looking for a replacement, you’ll be sorely disappointed. We’re very different sorts of soldiers.”
“We will admit,” Sparatus pointed out in a somewhat conciliatory tone, “That you did not come to our attention until after the events of your brother’s mission and the Battle of the Citadel.” He waited a moment before continuing, his voice gaining more finality. “However, we were not particularly interested in you until we reviewed your personal service record.” His words made Jane’s anger cool, her brows knitting as she considered them.
“It is precisely because of your relative anonymity that you are interesting to us.” Valern cut in, his eyes narrowing, “As a Spectre, sometimes it is important to fly under the radar, to move amongst the shadows. To infiltrate organizations where someone such as John Shepard would instantly be recognized and questioned.” Understanding began to bloom as Jane fought to keep her face neutral, her mind racing as the implications unraveled before her.
“I see. But what if I’m not particularly interested in joining the Spectres? I’ve enjoyed my time serving with the Alliance.” She kept her voice as level as those of the councilors before her, buying her time to consider her options. Anderson coughed into his fist, causing her to glance over at him.
“It would be an honor for you to represent humans amongst the Spectres. Please don’t turn it down without giving it serious consideration, Shepard.” Jane nodded slowly and watched as Tevos shifted in her seat, something like indecision warring on her usually even features. Jane let her eyes remain on the asari for a moment in hopes that she would crack, and after a moment, she did.
“We are not interested in you and your abilities for no particular reason. You happen to possess the exact set of skills and circumstances that make you uniquely situated for a very specific mission, for which there are very few, if any, others qualified.” Once again, the room fell into silence at the unexpected words, and Valern and Sparatus both looked at the asari councilor with surprised expressions as though they hadn’t been expecting her to share that information so soon. Jane weighed her interest with her concerns before pressing for more information.
“Okay, I may be interested, but I would need more information first.” Tevos’ eyes roamed from face to face, a silent conversation seeming to pass between her and her three peers before she looked back at Jane, her eyes hardening.
“What do you know of the organization known simply as Cerberus?” Tevos asked quietly, her voice heavy with the weight of her words. After a moment’s consideration, alarm bells began to go off in Jane’s head as her eyes snapped open, the last name she expected to hear lingering in her ears.
“Cerberus? The human-first paramilitary group? We had run-ins with them during the search for Saren and disrupted some horrible experiments they were conducting. They’re responsible for the death of Admiral Kahoku, but I’d thought we’d disrupted their operations pretty substantially?” Jane looked to Anderson, who nodded, his eyes lowered in memory of the gruesome circumstances surrounding the death of the Admiral.
“We know that they are a rogue Alliance black-ops group, but it is very difficult to acquire additional information due to the nature of the organization. They have increased recruitment to an alarming degree recently, particularly in the past few months, and have been particularly targeting ex-Alliance as potential recruits. We have had an operative attempting to collect more information, but with very little success. But what we do know scares us, to be quite honest.” Tevos explained in a dry, informative voice tinged with evident frustration.
“In particular, we have learned of a recent shifting of their admittedly vast resources. They have been funneling a great deal of money into a series of projects, but we barely know anything about them. This is where you would come in.” Valern leaned back in his chair, steepling his fingers before him, his eyes hooded as he gazed at Jane.
“Aaah, I see.” Jane murmured as she began to suspect she knew where the conversation was going.
“Between their increase in recruitment and this sudden reallocation of resources, we are very concerned.” Tevos picked back up again, “Due to their humanity first mentality, their highly militarized mindset, and their evident lack of ethical oversight, we worry that they could come to pose a threat to the safety and stability of the Citadel and Council Space. If it is in fact a weapon that they are developing, steps must be taken to neutralize it.”
“While there is one Spectre currently looking into Cerberus, like we said, there is little she can do from the outside. This is why we would like you, should you choose to become a Spectre, to infiltrate their organization and gather information, particularly about these new, expensive projects of theirs.” Sparatus finished, his gaze still unblinking and focused on her, cold and calculating. Jane met each of their stares in turn, her mind churning as she considered the words and the information they had put before her.
After a few moments, Jane slowly began to nod her head, the beginnings of a plan beginning to formulate in her mind. Looking over to Anderson, they made eye contact, and after a heartbeat, he nodded once solemnly, and she squared her shoulders before returning her gaze to Tevos.
“Okay. I’m not looking to replace my brother in any way, but I will accept both the position and your mission. Under one condition.” The council’s initial relief at her acceptance froze at her final words, and they waited with baited breath for her to finish. “When this mission is over, I want to be allowed to pick up where John left off on his investigation of the danger posed by the Reapers.” Jane stated as she crossed her arms, her face firming as she settled into the decision. She saw Sparatus huff quietly as he rolled his eyes before nodding, but the other two seemed to brighten substantially at her words
“Yes, yes of course. Wonderful, this is great news. We are pleased to have you, Shepard.” Tevos replied with evident relief in her eyes as she smiled and brought her hands together before her chest. Anderson leaned forward in his seat to clap Jane on the shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before sitting back on his seat.
“We will make all the necessary arrangements and get you outfitted in the best equipment deemed appropriate for the mission.” Valern rubbed his hands together as he glanced at Anderson with a nod of his head. “First, however, you will need to undergo a few weeks of intensive training and mentorship off-world with one of our operatives. Her name is Tela Vasir, and she is the one who has been responsible for the information we currently have regarding Cerberus.”
“We passed her in the hallway on the way here.” Anderson added, noticing Jane’s look of confusion, and she felt her eyebrows jump in surprise as she remembered the smirking asari.
“We will need to make it apparent that you have left the Alliance, perhaps you can pretend to be disillusioned after the death of your brother.” Jane tried not to let the off handed words sting as Valern brought a hand up to cradle his chin as he contemplated aloud, “Once it is clear you have parted ways, I daresay it won’t take long for Cerberus to approach you for recruitment, based on their current practices. Failing that, there must be ways to seek them out.”
“I believe I know someone in the information business, I’m sure I can track them down one way or another.” Jane mused out loud before frowning as she looked at Anderson. “But do I really need to leave the Alliance? It was a little unclear what John’s status was within the Alliance when he was made a Spectre, but he never officially resigned, I thought.”
“We can discuss it further later, but for now I believe it is necessary. You can always be reinstated afterwards.”
“I see.” Jane closed her eyes and set her jaw as a stab of pain caught her off guard.
“Typically, Spectres do not retain affiliation with their species’ military once instated.” Sparatus pointed out after a moment, and Jane glanced at him before nodding her head slowly in resignation.
“I understand.”
“Wonderful.” Tevos stated again as she stood, signaling the end of the meeting. She stepped around the low table and extended her hand to Jane as she stood. Taking it, they shook quickly before taking a step back. “Welcome to the Spectres, Shepard. Let’s meet again quickly tomorrow to go over the details of preparing you for the mission."
"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you for this opportunity." Jane stood up straight and fought the instinct to salute, the reality of parting ways with the Alliance starting to sink in. As the other three councilors began quietly murmuring amongst themselves, Jane turned to Anderson who beamed at her.
“Congratulations, Shepard. You deserve this honor.” Anderson asserted as he held out his own hand, and Jane shook it even as she recognized the bitter taste lingering on her tongue.
“I don’t like any of this.” Anderson’s smile became somewhat crooked as he raised an amused eyebrow before clapping her on the shoulder again.
“I know, but you’re doing the right thing. Part of doing your duty is serving when and where you’re needed. And right now, you’re needed amongst the Spectres for this mission.” Jane shut her eyes and took a deep breath, squaring her shoulders.
“I know.” The two humans made their way back to Anderson’s office, but they hadn’t so much as sat down before the door opened unceremoniously to reveal the purple marked asari from earlier. She took a step into the room, letting the door close behind her as she surveyed them, her face impassive except for a slight narrowing of her eyes. She opened up her omni-tool, waving it before her before checking its readout. Apparently happy with her findings, she shut it off again before meeting Jane’s eyes.
“Commander Shepard? Tela Vasir, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance. I hear congratulations are in order, welcome to the team.” There was the barest hint of a smile on her lips as Vasir stepped forward into the room.
“Thanks.” Jane remained where she stood, crossing her arms. She was often good at getting initial reads on people, but Vasir was a bit of a closed book, and it made her wary.
“Please pardon my caution,” Vasir gestured to the wrist she wore her omni-tool upon, “You can never be too sure who’s listening. If I’ve learned anything about these people, it’s to always watch my back.”
“Are you referring to Cerberus?”
“I see they’ve clued you in. That’s probably for the best. I’ve looked into your record and I’m looking forward to working with you. I can tell we’re going to have fun. ” The amused smile from before was back on the asari’s lips, and Jane found herself with the barest hint of a smirk on her own lips.
“Well, if there’s one thing I can’t resist, it’s the offer of intrigue, violence, and a good time.”
“We’re going to get along just fine . Once all the boring paperwork is processed and everything is official, I’ll shoot you a message. We’ll start your initial training here on the Citadel, but then we’ll head off world for the bulk of it. Best prepare yourself, you’re in the big leagues now.” With that, Vasir turned on her heel and strode out the door with little more than a casual flick of her hand by way of goodbye.
It wasn’t until just over a month later that Jane found herself standing with luggage in hand at the shuttle port. She felt weird and out of place wearing civilian clothing, but she had officially resigned from the Alliance and so she’d had to buy a few sets for herself. Given that her new status as a Spectre was being kept under wraps, she was supposed to be playing the part of disgruntled ex-Alliance marine and so a new wardrobe had been part of the ‘disguise’. She had kept her old N7 hoodie, however, which had been a gift from Anderson back when she’d graduated from the program, and it made her feel slightly more comfortable in her new, casual get up.
She was rather impressed with her new equipment, though, which had been issued to her after the paperwork had been finalized. Her new armor was packed neatly into her bag slung over her shoulder and her new weapons were cradled in the case she gripped in her fist as she neared her shuttle.
Even after working with Vasir for the last few weeks, the entire situation still felt a bit surreal, particularly when she had completed her resignation. The Alliance had been her life for the past 10 years, and to have it ripped out from under her so suddenly left her reeling, even though it had been her own choice in the end. She wondered idly if she was making the right decision, if John would be proud of the path her life was taking.
It was hard to keep the doubts from seeping in. After all this trouble, would Cerberus even be interested in recruiting her? What if they never contacted her and she couldn’t track them down? What if she messed up and they figured her game out, got the jump on her? She was already planning on meeting with Liara on Illium as soon as possible in order to get what information on Cerberus she could dig up. Taking a deep breath, Jane forced herself to relax as she made her way toward the dock.
“Jane!” Her head snapped up at the familiar voice that called out over the crowd, “Jane Shepard!” Turning, Jane saw the figure of Ashley darting and pushing between people as she hurried closer.
“Ashley? How-?” Ashley finally came to a stop before her, clutching a stitch in her side and Jane trailed off at the intense look in the other woman’s eyes.
“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days, why haven’t you been answering my messages?” Ashley snapped at her, accusation tinging her words as she caught her breath. Jane felt a moment of guilt, she had been ignoring her messages. She wasn’t able to give Ashley any information about her current plans or mission, and avoidance seemed the easier route, even if she did count the woman amongst her friends. So instead, she met the question with one of her own.
“How on earth did you know I would be here, Ash?” Ashley quirked an eyebrow at the question, placing a fist on her hip as she took in Jane’s attire.
“I got worried when you weren’t responding to my messages, so I contacted Anderson. He was giving me the run around at first, but I kept on him. He said… He told me you were discharged from the Alliance?! I didn’t believe him at first, but looking at you-” Ashley cut off, gesturing to Jane and her civilian clothing. Jane felt a sinking in her stomach as she realized the direction this conversation was inevitably snowballing.
“Okay, but how did you know I would be here ? Right now ?”
“Well, Anderson also mentioned that you were planning on leaving soon, so I got a hold of a contact of mine in C-Sec and he gave me a tip off that you’d passed through security here.”
“I see.” There was a moment of drawn out silence between them before Ashley’s brows drew down into a scowl.
“I hadn’t wanted to believe Anderson, but- but it’s true, isn’t it? What the fuck, Jane?” Jane remained stubbornly silent, her mind racing for a way out of the conversation without giving anything away while also maintaining her friendship with Ashley. “I thought we were friends, Jane, I deserve some sort of answer! What the fuck are you doing? Were you just going to slink away without even saying goodbye?” Jane turned away, a frown gracing her own features in frustration. “Answer me!”
“Look, I’ve been struggling since John died, you know that. I just need to get away from everything for a while.” Jane’s eyes shot back to Ashley as the other woman let out a short, harsh bark of laughter.
“I didn’t think you were a coward .” Jane felt her pride ruffle at the unfair accusation and pursed her lips in irritation that she couldn’t properly defend herself. “How exactly will you running away help in the fight against the Reapers?”
“Ash…” Jane struggled to figure a diplomatic way to end the conversation, but the words came up blank.
“You’re just giving up! Then what was all that shit about finishing what your brother started?! Or were you just talking out of your ass? I didn’t think you would disrespect his memory like that.” Ashley took a step closer, jabbing an angry finger in her direction, and Jane fought not to let the rage that she’s kept tightly leashed the past few months bubble up. Taking a deep breath, Jane channeled the emotion into cold fury as she made her decision.
“Fuck you, Williams. You don’t know or understand anything .” And it was true, honestly, though it was hardly Ashley’s fault she was being kept in the dark. It didn’t make her words cut Jane any less.
“Yeah. I guess not. After everything we’d been through, I had thought we were friends. Guess I was wrong.” Ashley spat as she crossed her arms, her eyes glaring daggers. Jane met her glare for glare before turning and striding toward her shuttle. “Don’t fucking walk away from me, Shepard!”
Jane grit her teeth and set her eyes forward as she ignored the friend she left behind, knowing it was for the best.
“You fucking coward!” Jane could hear the pain and anger in Ashley’s voice, but she refused to look back. That was why Jane had always kept a healthy emotional distance from her crewmates prior to the Normandy. Keeping emotions out of work made everything easier. Parting ways with Ashley would have been so much easier if she hadn’t genuinely liked the other woman.
When she finally found her seat aboard the shuttle, she couldn’t help but let her mind drift to Garrus. Another friendship shot to pieces by her own hand, though under very different circumstances. It was one of her biggest regrets, though not greatest, and she found her mind drifting to and worrying about him regularly. After a moment, she reached into her bag and pulled out her old visor. Holding it up to her eye, she let her vision refocus until a particular set of numbers swam into view.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 210]
[JS: 215]
No change. Not that she’d expected it to have changed. Once again, she considered deleting the display, but once again, she didn’t. It felt as though letting it go would be like letting him go, and she just didn’t have the heart to stop hoping they’d meet again someday.
Sitting back in her seat, she brought her visor down to rest in her lap as she glanced out the window. She could see the wards wrapping up and around out of sight. Closing her eyes, she looked away as she let out a deep breath. At some point, she would have to let the past go. But not yet. Not bloody well yet.
Chapter 25: Part 2: Chapter 1
Summary:
In which Garrus sees a ghost.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 1
Omega, 1.5 Years Later
He was going to die. Garrus could feel it, deep in his bones, it was just a matter of time. He’d known the moment he’d stepped foot into the apartment and seen the bloody faces of his dead team staring back up at him. But it wasn’t really until the last twelve hours or so that it had really begun to sink in.
Garrus’ whole body hurt, it felt like his joints were made of lead, and exhaustion made it hard to think and function. He poked his head up over the window sill, confirming the lack of activity on the bridge that his motion detectors were reporting. With a grunt, he sat back down and reached for a new heat sink. Replacing the old one in his trusty sniper rifle, he sighed and checked the time.
It’d been long enough, he figured, that he could probably pop another stim, too. Or close enough, at least. Honestly, it didn’t really matter anymore. He reached into a nearby pack, searching until his hand wrapped around the last small syringe. Vaguely checking the label, he felt around on his leg for the edge of his armor’s plating until he found the soft joint of his undersuit and jammed the needle in.
Pressing down hard on the button, Garrus felt the effects moments later as a rush of nausea enveloped him. He closed his eyes for a moment as his tired heart thudded painfully in his chest, a wave of dizziness making his head spin. After a moment, the world seemed to right itself, and just in time as his motion detector pinged at him. Taking a deep breath, a little bit more life seeming to flow through him, he grabbed his rifle and twisted to take aim as quickly as he could.
The whole situation would have been laughable if he’d had enough extra energy to laugh. He should have known it would all come to this, nothing ever worked out for him. This was only the most recent and slightly most lethal example of that. He didn’t deserve any better, not after what he’d let happen to his team. He deserved to suffer.
Garrus was pretty sure it’d been three or four days since he’d gotten any sleep. He wasn’t sure anymore, honestly. It was all bleeding together into one hellish nightmare, and in the end, he was just going to die. But he was going to go down guns blazing, one way or another. One last stand.
He struggled not to let his mind drift back to the loosely covered bodies in neat lines around the room. He kept attempting to focus his eyes on anything else around him, but they kept coming back to the prone shapes time and time again.
Erash, Monnteague, Mierin, Grundan Krul, Melenis, Ripper, Sensat, Vortash, Butler, Weaver.
Sidonis .
Fuck, if Shepard had been in command, this never would have happened. He never would have fallen for such a stupid trap, he never would have found himself in this position. The old, dull ache resurfaced, but only long enough for it to hurt a moment before Garrus ruthlessly thrust it back into the box he’d long since crammed it into. Shepard was dead. Nothing would change that, and dwelling on his old mentor now was not going to help.
The motion detector pinged again, and Garrus quickly turned and aimed, taking out another few mercs attempting to cross the bridge. They were coming in small waves, each group looking more rag tag than the last. From the lack of order, coordination, and markings, it seemed as though they were sending anyone with a gun at him at this point. It suited him just fine. They all bled the same with a bullet through the head.
Once the last body fell, he took a moment to look at their defenses through his scope again. He could see their barricades, as sturdy looking as ever. People stood guard there, guns ready, and others darted back and forth as they seemingly made plans. They were too far away to get a clear shot, but every now and then he took a few pot shots… At the very least, it reminded them he was still there, still deadly.
A flash of red.
His heart still tightened at the sight, even years later. It wasn’t her, it never was. He was used to flashes of red in the crowd that made his heart beat a little faster, made his breath catch in his throat. They used to make him do double takes, but it was never her and he’d long since stopped hoping.
The first few months it had been awful, the pain had been so sharp it had been nearly physical. She’d been like a ghost, haunting him through the alleyways of Omega, but disappearing the moment he tried to get a closer look. About a year ago, there had been an instance when he’d been so sure he’d seen her that he’d gone running after.
He’d never caught up with whoever it had been, but he knew better than to hope it’d been her. He knew perfectly well that the Alliance didn’t run operations anywhere near Omega. It hadn’t been her, couldn’t have been her. It was just the same old ghost of his past regrets.
He had been so full of regrets, of What Ifs and If Onlys, it had eaten away at him for months. He’d even had one ill-fated alcohol induced attempt at picking up a human woman at a bar in hopes that it would help get whatever this obsession was out of his system. But before they’d even gotten back to his place, he’d lost his nerve and apologized before seeing her home safely and retreating in mortification.
He wasn’t interested in humans. Only Jane Shepard, damn her. Only ever her.
Time helped dull the pain, somewhat. But even more than that, keeping busy helped. So for months upon months, he’d thrown himself into his work, cleansing the filth from the streets of Omega, one shot at a time.
Another wave of cannon fodder threw themselves across the bridge only to fall to his rifle, again and again. As the last one fell, Garrus realized he was being given another chance to catch his breath, and with a grunt he twisted and slid down to sit upon the floor again. He tried to force his mind off the topic of Jane, but instead, his eyes refocused to the display of his visor where a small set of numbers still stared back at him, unchanged after years.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 210]
[JS: 215]
Of course the numbers never changed. Jane was Spirits-knew-where, but certainly not on Omega. He’d tried to delete it so many times, but whenever his finger hovered over the button, he just couldn’t make himself do it. So they remained, taunting him with memories of the past.
Leaning against the wall, he sighed before closing his eyes. Just for a few moments, just to rest his eyes…
The silence was broken by the sound of footsteps coming to a stop just before him, causing his eyes to snap open in panic. His breath hitched in his throat and his hand fell from where he reached for his rifle as his sluggish brain registered the angel standing before him.
For that’s what she must have been. A pale, soft skinned hand reached up to drag five fingers through shoulder length glossy, red hair. Bright green eyes hooded in challenge peered down at him, an eyebrow quirked up as she grinned her trademark open, disarming smile.
He struggled to speak, his mouth dry as his eyes drank her in like a parched man falling upon an oasis in the desert. After a moment, he pulled his helmet from his head in order to truly see her. Although hazy, she looked exactly how he remembered her, every single detail, and he couldn’t stop the reverence in his voice.
“Jane…” Her face softened as she gazed down at where he sat against the wall, her smile becoming almost wistful.
“Garrus.” He stiffened at the sound of her voice. It had an odd, far away and echoing quality to it that made his skin crawl. Narrowing his eyes, he finally noticed her faded, unfocused edges. His heart sank, his eyes burning as disappointment threatened to drown him.
“You’re not real. You’re just another hallucination.” She wasn’t the first he’d seen the past day or so, but she was by far the worst, the most heart breaking. Jane didn’t say anything, but her eyebrows furrowed and the corner of her lips quirked up as if in sad acceptance of the accusation. As he continued to gaze up at her, he felt his chest start to loosen as a melancholic smile made its way onto his own face. “But I’m still happy I got to see you. One last time… Before I die. Even if you’re not real.”
At that, she knelt down before him, and for a brief, glorious second he could swear he felt the brush of her fingertips as she brought them up to ghost along the side of his face. With a broken, haggard sigh, his eyes flickered shut as he leaned his mandible into her palm.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you when I had the chance.” Sighing again, he looked up into her face and tried to smile. “I love you.”
The words felt so good to finally utter aloud, even if he’d never allowed himself to admit their truth before then. The realization felt like opening his eyes to a beautiful dawn on a spring morning, a breath of fresh air to his sore and battered lungs, a balm to his bruised and broken body.
“I know.” Suddenly, she was leaning forward to gently press her forehead against his and he could swear he could feel her breath against his face. His eyes fluttered shut as his heart seemed to jump out of his chest, his blood burning in his veins. “Don’t give up, not quite yet.”
Garrus’ eyes snapped open, and he was alone. Jane was gone as though she’d never been there, which he supposed she hadn’t at that. The room was silent, but his heart continued to hammer in his chest, a reminder that he was still alive . But it had an all too familiar ache.
“Fuck.” Garrus jammed his helmet back onto his head, willing his body to stop thrumming with the imagined presence of the human woman that had so utterly ensnared him. He wasn’t sure if she’d been a hallucination or some sort of fever dream, but she was gone. And he was alone.
Pushing her out of his mind, he tried to focus on something else, but before he could stop himself, he was falling down the list of all the regrets that chased him through the dark hallways of his own mind.
He’d lost so many people who were important to him in his life, not all his were his fault. Shepard had been ripped away by the attack, completely out of his control. Jane had blamed Garrus for something that hadn’t been his fault, but he’d lost her all the same. But his father… That had been his fault.
His father had warned him that his rash actions were going to get him in trouble, and Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle dryly as he admitted how right his father had been. He should have listened to him, especially after everything he’d experienced while working with Shepard. They had both tried to show him the correct way to do things, and yet he still ended up trying to take matters into his own hands, and look where it’d gotten him. He just never learned.
The motion detector pinged again, and with a sigh, he dragged aching limbs up and grabbed his rifle, taking aim. His father hadn’t deserved the way he’d treated him. He’d only been trying to help him be his best self. Jane’s words from all those years ago seemed to echo back to him.
I’m sorry you don’t get along with your father. Family’s important, I hope you’re able to reconcile with him someday.
With weary resignation, he acknowledged that he knew what he had to do before it was too late. One last loose end to tie up. Between shots, he pulled up his omni-tool and brought up his father’s contact information.
“ Hello?” His father’s voice sounded the same as usual. Short, clipped, to the point.
“Dad.” Crack , another merc down in a pool of his own blood.
“ Garrus? Is that you? What’s that noise?”
“Just a little… target practice.” Garrus rolled his shoulder, stifling a groan at the pain.
“ Then call me back later.” His father’s voice sounded irritated, and Garrus sighed as he took aim and pulled the trigger again.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to do that.” Garrus’ voice threatened to crack, the finality of his situation looming over his head. He took a deep breath. “Too many targets.”
“ ... I see.” Garrus felt a lump in the back of his throat and tried to force back the emotion threatening to overrun him.
“I just wanted to hear your voice. Wanted to know how retirement was treating you. You good?”
“ I’m fine.” His father snapped, a new edge to his voice that said he’d seen through Garrus’ prevarication. “ Forget about that.”
“Listen, I don’t have a lot of time. I wanted to say…” Garrus took another deep breath and sighed before pulling the trigger again and continuing, “You were right about things. A lot more than I gave you credit for.” Another shot, another merc down. Another flash of red, was that blood or…? “And I’m sorry we butted heads so much.”
“ I said forget about that. These targets you’re practicing on – They’re moving fast?” Another wave of mercs charged onto the bridge, but something was different, particularly a small group in the back-
Garrus’ heart thudded hard and painfully in his chest as he saw the flash of a red ponytail ducking behind cover.
“So far… not fast enough.” He peered through his scope, his heartbeat thumping in his ears, momentarily forgetting the rest of the mercs charging forward. A face peered out from behind cover, but then an omni-tool activated, and all of a sudden… they vanished. “But they’re learning.” Garrus’ brow plates furrowed in confusion as he looked around for the missing merc.
“ How are your thermal clips?”
“You know how it is. Could always use a couple more.”
“ Work with what you’ve got, then. Don’t stop pulling that trigger till it clicks , son.” Garrus felt his eyes widen as the merc suddenly reappeared in a fizzle of light. She was crouched behind another merc and in a flash she pulled a combat knife from her belt. Reaching up, she grabbed the man and with a fluid motion, she slit his throat. As the man fell, gurgling and choking on his own blood, Garrus finally got a good look at her face and it was like his own blood stopped moving.
Jane.
She was there, right before him.
And then her omni-tool activated. And she was gone again. Another hallucination…?
“ No matter how bad things are falling apart around you, as long as you have at least one bullet left, you can still get the job done. Understand?” His father’s voice seemed to echo at him from down a tunnel. Jane fizzled back into view behind yet another merc, and with another flash of her knife, he fell dead at her feet. As the men around her seemed to realize she was taking them down, she pulled her pistol. Was it truly her? He focused his scope down at her, and just below the flash of her green, focused eyes was the familiar emblem. N7.
Garrus didn’t trust his eyes, not after everything. He had to know if she was real. Quickly he loaded up a concussive round, took aim, and shot her in the shoulder. She recoiled at the hit, her kinetic barrier taking the brunt of the damage, and she glared up at him in annoyance before activating her omni-tool and vanishing again. Garrus couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face. He glanced at the display in his visor, but he already knew what he’d see.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 216]
[JS: 219]
She was in range. The numbers had gone up. It wasn’t his imagination. She wasn’t his imagination!
“ You finish up what you have to do there, and then you come on home to Palaven. We have a lot to sort out.”
“Yeah, we do. Thanks, Dad. For everything.” Jane reappeared with her pistol pointed to the back of another merc’s head, and as the man fell, she darted forward and disappeared into the apartment’s front entrance. “I have to go now. Don’t worry about me… I’ll make it home when I can. The odds just got a lot better.”
Illium, 1.5 Years Ago
Jane wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting when she stepped off the shuttle, but even though she’d seen pictures, Illium somehow managed to surprise her with its beauty. It had a somewhat dark reputation due to its relaxed stances on labor practices, safety, and trafficking. Hell, nearly anything was legal here except murder. Which was why she was so surprised at its sleek beauty. The sun was just setting over the horizon, catching the many skyscrapers and spires at an angle that caused them to shimmer like shards of glass.
She sneered at the incongruity of it all. Beautiful shell, dirty underbelly. She hiked her bag back up onto her shoulder and made for the mass transit. She had an address and a time, nothing else.
When she arrived at the deceptively plain building, she was buzzed in by none other than Tela Vasir. Jane stepped through the door and glanced around, putting her bag and case down. The apartment was larger than she’d expected to find in a city, but comfortable and well furnished.
“Shepard, good to see you. I assume your trip was uneventful.” Jane was about to answer when Ashley’s voice echoed back at her.
Don’t fucking walk away from me, Shepard!
Jane grimaced and glanced away.
“You could say that.”
“Good. Let’s go over the plan and then you can get yourself set up with a room somewhere in the neighborhood. We’ll be staying here in Nos Astra for a few weeks at least, depending on how it goes.” Vasir moved to the window, crossing her arms as she looked out. “You’ll tag along with me for a few missions, then you’ll go on a few alone and I’ll observe. If I decide you’ll do, I’ll send my report along to the council and your ‘probation’ period will be complete.”
“Fine. But why Illium?” Jane asked, stepping into the room but deciding against making herself comfortable.
“Easy. It’s an area I frequent, know it like the back of my hand. Easy to move around undisturbed, few questions asked. Most importantly, Cerberus only has a small presence here, and I have all of their known operatives here tagged for observation. The chances that they’ll see us together are slim, so it shouldn’t blow your cover for your mission.”
“Makes sense. So what first?”
“We went over all the boring stuff before we left the Citadel, your Spectre access codes, channels for communication, other boring administrative bullshit. Tomorrow I’m going to start putting you through your paces, see what you’re capable of. I’ve seen your records, but words can only tell me so much. I want to see you in action.” Vasir turned to look at her, her eyes sharp and assessing. Jane held her gaze with firm, unapologetic self assurance.
“Sounds good. What’s the mission?” The other woman watched her for a heartbeat longer before her lips quirked in an amused smile that made Jane’s jaw clench. Vasir walked over to a nearby table and picked up a data pad, tossing it to her. Jane snatched it out of the air and looked down to see the mission details laid out before her.
“Nothing difficult, this one should be a walk in the park. A warm up, so to say. Take a look at that tonight, be ready first thing in the morning. Send me the address of wherever you end up booking a room and I’ll pick you up.” She turned, and headed toward the kitchen, a clear dismissal, but stopped suddenly to turn back toward Jane. “Oh, and word to the wise: Don’t sign anything. Illium can be a bit… deceptive.” With that, she disappeared into the next room, leaving Jane with a data pad and a million questions.
An hour or two later found her hunkered down in her newly rented room, mulling over the mission details. The room was mediocre at best, yet Jane considered it a stroke of luck. Funds hadn’t been the issue, she was quite flush with funding at the moment, though rooms were certainly at a premium here. The issue had been availability. Every place she’d visited seemed to be completely booked up, and it was some sort of miracle she’d found anything at all.
As she looked over the details for the mission, her heart dropped. A warm up, indeed . Jane would have rolled her eyes if she hadn’t been quite so nervous. The place Vasir was asking her to break into seemed nigh impenetrable. She was almost convinced that this had to be some sort of initiation prank, a hazing as it were, except that that didn’t seem like something a professional like Vasir would be into. Between the cameras, guards, and security system, she had no idea how she was supposed to make it into the building. She’d have to be a ghost to slip past them all unseen-
She froze, her mind racing, her hand with the data pad slowly lowering to the table before her. If she were invisible… then it wouldn’t be an issue at all. There were a lot of things she would be able to manage if that were a tool in her arsenal, not to mention her mission with Cerberus… Tactical cloaks were banned in Council Space, typically only being used for mischief of one kind or another. But … That didn’t apply to her anymore. As a Spectre, if she wanted to utilize a tactical cloak, she had the right to do so.
The issue would be acquiring the software and omni-tool modification, and yet here she was. On Illium. If she couldn’t find those here, she didn’t know where she could. Jane felt a fox-like grin spread across her face as she grabbed her jacket and made for the door. It was time for a little last minute shopping. Nothing like a little retail therapy, afterall.
Chapter 26: Part 2: Chapter 2
Summary:
In which Garrus' escape attempt goes off with a bang.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 2
Omega, Present Day
Garrus did his best to keep his mind focused as he took aim at and shot each merc in turn, but it was impossible.
She was here. Here, not just on Omega, but here of all places. She was coming, he was going to see her. After two years.
The thoughts kept repeating through his head over and over again as he heard gunfire echoing from the floor below. By the time the sounds of the struggle faded, he wasn’t sure if the rapid fire pace of his heart was for her or due to the extended use of stims. He felt sudden nerves itching up his spine as he heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs and toward him, but he tried to force himself to focus on the last remaining mercs below.
The door opened, and he twisted his head just enough to see absolutely no one standing in the doorway. He only had a moment of confusion, however, before Jane fizzled back into view, deactivating her omni-tool. She took a hesitant step into the room, her pistol drawn, and moments later was followed by two men Garrus didn’t recognize.
“Archangel?” She called out, her voice just as hesitant as her slow step forward, and she slowly lowered her weapon. Garrus realized, all of a sudden, that she had no idea who he was . He didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or cry, but it didn’t honestly matter at this point. Who was he to turn away a saving angel, an eleventh hour savior?
He held a finger up to signal her to wait, returning his sights to the final man cowering behind a pillar below. Lifting his rifle up, he waited until he poked his head out before pulling the trigger. The crack! rang through the building before everything fell to silence.
Sighing, he felt the tension in his shoulders loosen ever so slightly before turning to stand. With some small consternation, he felt a quiver in his legs as he tried to push himself up, necessitating the use of his rifle to push his aching body up to a standing position. Even then, he felt himself stagger ever so slightly before turning to face the three humans standing across the room from him.
Not trusting his legs entirely, he took a slow step over toward a nearby chair, but as his eyes fell on her, it was nearly impossible to look away. The hallucination, or dream or whatever it had been that he’d seen earlier had been exactly as he’d remembered her from years before. But the Jane that stood before him now had obviously weathered the time in between in a more realistic fashion. His eyes were first drawn to her hair, longer now and swept up into a ponytail, though still with wisps dangling into her eyes and curling around her ears to frame her face. But it shown its usual glossy red that had so entranced him the first time they’d met.
There were other differences, as well, including a new scar that bisected one eyebrow that left him wondering vaguely at the story behind it. Her armor seemed much more substantial than what she’d worn back on the Normandy with many intersecting plates, and it seemed to hug and define her body in new and interesting ways.
As Garrus came to a rest against the chair, his eyes finally rested upon hers, and he felt an old bitter-sweet longing at the familiar color. And yet, they were so different he almost didn’t recognize them. Back upon the Normandy, her gaze had felt like silk wrapped steel. But as she stared him down now, it was as if the silk had all been worn away, leaving behind nothing but cold, hard steel.
Leaning back, he finally pulled the helmet off his head and propped a foot up as the three humans took a step closer.
“Jane. It’s been a while.” He forced himself to bring his eyes to meet hers again, but he could feel anxiety building. He didn’t know what to expect from her, dreading the moment anger would creep upon her face. Or perhaps even worse, apathy. He couldn’t forget how they’d left things or the way she’d last looked at him back then.
As Jane’s eyes darted across his face, her expression seemed to slacken and her mouth popped open slightly for a moment as though she was having trouble processing what it was she was seeing. It suddenly became one of surprise, followed by the widening of her eyes. A huge smile broke across her face and he almost died from relief, the bottom falling out of his stomach.
“Garrus!” She cried out, throwing her arms out happily as she took a step closer, “What are you doing here?”
“Just keeping my skills sharp. A little target practice.” He almost didn’t recognize his own voice as it left him leadenly, “I see you’ve picked up some interesting new skills yourself.” He paused for a moment before adding, “Though I’ll admit, your little disappearing act messed a little with my faith in my own sanity.” That caused her to let loose a bark of amused laughter.
“So! That explains why you took a shot at me. You nailed me real good.” She grinned at him as she rolled her shoulder, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes that almost made him pause.
“Oh, er, concussive round only.” He replied awkwardly, but after a moment, he smirked back at her slightly. “No harm, no foul.” She cocked an eyebrow as she crossed her arms, leaning her weight to one side.
“Uh-huh.”
“If I wanted to do more than take your shields down, I’d have done it.” He all but purred back at her, and a shocked voice in the back of his head screamed what was that?! Her smile seemed to widen, her eyes ever so slightly hooded.
Garrus’ smile faded as he couldn’t help but wonder at her being here at all. There was still a small part of him that wondered if he’d finally lost it, if he was hallucinating this entire exchange. She seemed to notice the shift in his expression, because her smile also faded to be replaced by a look of concern.
“You okay?” He couldn’t help but chuckle bemusedly at her question. He was anything but okay, and he forced himself not to look at the row of bodies along the wall.
“I’ve been better. But I’ll be okay if we can get out of here.” She seemed a little mollified by his answer, but then her brows knit.
“I’ll admit, I’m surprised you let yourself end up in a situation like this. What happened? How on Earth did you piss off all these mercs?”
“It wasn’t easy, I reeeally had to work at it. I’m amazed that they teamed up to fight me. They must really hate me.” He couldn’t keep the sour twist out of his voice, though he tried to hide it behind sarcasm as best he could. The last thing he wanted to do was relive the entire story right here. Just the thought of rehashing it all made him start feeling ill.
“And since when did you start calling yourself Archangel ? That’s quite a moniker.” Her smile was back, and her voice had a slight tease to it. He felt a flush of embarrassment start to spread across his face.
“It’s just a name the locals gave me for… all my good deeds.” His eyes flicked away and he coughed to hide his hesitation and mild discomfort before adding, “I don’t mind it, but please, it’s, uh, just Garrus to you .”
“While this is very cute, if you two haven’t noticed, there’s an army of mercs out there and we’re about to be sitting ducks.” One of the men standing behind Jane growled, the large scar maring his face pulled up in a sneer, “So how about you finish up whatever the fuck this is-” He rolled his eyes as he gestured between Garrus and Jane, “and we can get back to shooting people.”
Garrus took a moment to examine the older man before glancing back to Jane, a brow plate raised, and she shrugged her shoulders, sobering.
“Okay, to business, then.” Jane announced, taking a step forward as Garrus shifted his weight off of the chair to stand. “We managed to get here, but getting out is another story.”
“Exactly.” The two of them walked over toward the window, Garrus trying to keep himself from limping as his joints protested the movement, “That bridge has saved my life… Funneling all those wittless idiots into scope. But it works both ways.” They stood, shoulder to shoulder, looking down upon the bridge, and Garrus felt a flicker of nostalgia. He let his eyes wander down to her only to find her looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
“There were enough of them holed up over there that it would be a slaughter if we tried to force our way back over that bridge.” Jane murmured as she looked back out over the bridge, the barest hint of movement visible at the far end.
“Yeah.”
“We can’t just sit here and wait for them to come to us.” The other one of Jane’s companions called out from where he stood. Garrus turned to see the darker skinned man, the one with the oddly familiar symbol emblazoned upon his chest, and nodded curtly before diving into battle planning.
It was so odd, so weirdly familiar and yet completely new to sit there planning with her. In a way, it was as if nothing had changed, as though they were back on the Normandy and they’d never parted ways. And yet, they had changed, both clearly having come a long way since then. They weren’t just soldiers following orders under their commander, but two independent forces coming together to solve a problem. It caused a little dissonance in his mind, leaving Garrus feeling confused and disoriented. Or perhaps that was the trauma and sleep deprivation, it was hard to say.
After a moment of consideration, Jane turned to face him and her eyes seemed to drill into him. They flicked to the covered bodies along the wall, and he forced himself to hold her gaze when it returned to him. Something in her expression changed and Garrus found himself only able to guess at its meaning.
“How’d you let yourself get into this position, Garrus?” Her voice was softer, leveled not to carry to the other two just behind her, and he finally tore his eyes away from her as his throat threatened to seize up.
“My feelings got in the way of my better judgment. It’s a long story.” Looking back at her, she seemed steadfast in her desire for an answer, and he sighed. There was no way he could talk about it here, but he had to throw her a bone. “I’ll tell you what. You get me out of here alive, I’ll tell you the whole damn thing.” She opened her mouth to respond, but he darted in to add, “Under one condition.” Her mouth snapped shut, her eyebrow lifting as she waited. “You tell me the story of how you ended up on Omega, of all places, sneaking in here looking for Archangel.”
“Deal. Though, you aren’t going to believe most of it until we get back to the ship.”
“If you’re involved, I’d be disappointed if it weren’t at least a little outrageous.”
Watching her work had been more entertaining and mesmerizing than ever, but then again it might have been his extreme exhaustion that made it so difficult to focus on the task at hand. He watched as she flawlessly shifted between taking out mechs at long distance with her sniper rifle to activating her tactical cloaking program and jumping into the fray for close range combat. It seemed like her close range skills had dramatically increased, which was saying something, as they’d always been impressive. But he knew he’d gotten better, too, as he watched his number slowly catching up in his display, now reconnected with Jane’s.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 230]
[JS: 231]
But the number continued to fluctuate as the fight dragged on, all the way up until they finally reached another lull. They regrouped and discussed the next step until there was a sudden, far off sound of an explosion. A siren started up, causing Garrus to wince as the pounding in his head intensified.
“What the hell was that ?” Demanded one of Jane’s associates, and Garrus felt dread settle in his chest as he realized what it must mean.
“Damn it,” Garrus breathed as he pulled up his omni-tool, “They’ve breached the lower level.” Rubbing his forehead, he continued, “Well, they had to use their brains eventually.” He looked up at Jane to find her shifting her weight. “Jane, you guys will need to get down there to handle them. I can keep the bridge clear for a little while longer.” Jane’s lips pursed at the suggestion, her eyes narrowing in displeasure.
“I’m not leaving you here to possibly die alone, not now that I’ve found you.”
“We don’t have a lot of options left, unless you want to get swarmed from below?” She glared at him for a moment before sighing and turning to the other two.
“Fine. Jacob, you remain here with Garrus. Keep him alive.” Jane’s words snapped like a whip, and the other man stood at attention with a tight nod.
“You sure?” Garrus questioned, trying to fight the urge to argue with her, “Who knows what you’ll find down there.” He had no idea how she and the other two ended up stuck here with him, but it was hard to fight the guilt that they were in this situation with him. He tried to remember that that wasn’t his fault, but after suffering so many losses recently, it was like his brain had fast tracked guilt to the front of his mind.
“I’m sure.” Jane stated, her voice firm with finality, and Garrus nodded his thanks.
“Okay, thank you. Radio if you need directions. Good luck.” She waved to the older man to follow and the two of them hurried down the stairs. Garrus watched her for a moment, but just as he was about to turn away, their eyes met as she paused before descending the stairs. Something charged passed between them, her gaze heated and heavy with some emotion he couldn’t identify, her lips tight and nearly turned down in a frown. There was an intensity there that made his breath catch, but in a flash it was over as she turned her head and hurried down the stairs and out of sight.
Something seemed different between them, there was something there that hadn’t been before. If he’d had more functioning brain power and less exhaustion, he might have tried to piece it together. But it hardly seemed to be the time or place.
More mercs made their way across the bridge, keeping him and the darker skinned human, Jacob, on their feet. He didn’t know what to think about Jacob, particularly because they didn’t exchange more than a few words as a whole, but the symbol emblazoned on his suit’s chest made Garrus nervous. He couldn’t place where he remembered it from, but something about it made him anxious.
What had Jane gotten herself into? Neither Jacob nor the older man were dressed as though they were Alliance, and he knew perfectly well that the Alliance didn’t send their soldiers anywhere near Omega. He found himself praying to the Spirits that she hadn’t gotten herself mixed up in any sort of mercenary or gang trouble, particularly because he knew some of her pre-Alliance history.
It didn’t take Jane long to get the blast doors closed below, and when she stood before Garrus again, it was splattered in the blood of the Blood Pack’s leader, Garm. She smirked as she came to a stop just before him and holstered her pistol, and he felt a burst of renewed energy at the sight of her. Glancing down at Garm’s body, he felt himself smile, too.
“This day just gets better and better.” He muttered as he checked his heat sink before looking up to see Jane shifting her weight to one side as she crossed her arms.
“Glad to see you haven’t changed.” Jane muttered as she grinned at him. Garrus wasn’t sure if it was his utter exhaustion that cracked away at his inhibitions, or if it was whatever had changed in their dynamic, but he found himself taking a step closer so that he was right before her, in her space. Keeping his eyes locked with hers, he saw them widen just a hair as she looked up at him. He wasn’t even sure who was piloting his body anymore, honestly.
“I can’t say the same about you, necessarily. You looked damn good out there.” His voice was low, rasping over the words, his mandibles flicking.. Jane seemed surprised for a moment before lowering her eyelids just enough to glance up at him through her lashes.
“Is that so, Big Guy?” She purred back at him, and all of a sudden, he seemed to process what he was saying. Flushing, he took half a step backwards as he began to panic and looked away as he cleared his throat, attempting to backtrack.
"I, uh, that is to say… Your combat skills have improved a lot, you've clearly… Learned a thing or two the past few years…" Garrus stumbled through the words like a drunkard through an obstacle course before trailing off as Jane began to laugh.
"Uh-huh." She raised an eyebrow as she smirked slyly up at him, clearly amused.
"Oh gag me with a fucking spoon. If you two would stop fucking flirting, maybe we could focus on getting out of this mess.” Jane’s grizzled companion snorted and sneered as he turned to look out the window, rolling his eyes. Despite the slightly heightened color creeping up her pale cheeks, Jane barked a short, amused laugh as she held Garrus’ eyes for half a heartbeat longer before turning to face the older man.
“Don’t be jealous, Zaeed, simply because you’re not getting any action.” Jane drawled as she stepped toward the window as well, checking the state of her heat sink. Zaeed just grumbled, side eyeing Jane with an almost amused huff. Garrus took a moment to steady himself after the unsettling exchange. “Anyway, only the Blue Suns are left. I say we take our chances and fight our way out.” Jane suggested as she turned and looked over her shoulder at Garrus, who nodded.
“I think you’re right. Tarak’s got the toughest group, but nothing we haven’t fought before.” Garrus nearly growled, and for the first time that day, he finally felt like he was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He had been so sure he was going to die, but then everything had been turned on its head. Jane always seemed to have that effect on his life. He couldn’t even process the hopeful feelings, not in his state.
“Agreed.” Zaeed added, which Jane seemed to take into consideration before turning and starting toward the door, her two companions following.
“Besides,” Garrus started, turning to follow, “He won’t be expecting us to meet him head-on-” He cut off as a sudden, familiar sound permeated the room. Whipping around quickly, his heart jumped into his throat as the hulking form of the airship loomed just outside the window, its guns trained on him.
“Look out!” Someone yelled as they all flung themselves into cover, and moments later the rattatatatat of the airship’s main guns cut through the air, destroying everything in its wake.
“Damn it!” Garrus cursed as he took a moment to glance out from cover, “I thought I took that thing out already!” Jane took advantage of the break in fire to roll into cover beside him.
“They fixed it, but not completely.” She murmured, a self satisfied glint in her eyes, “I made sure of that.” Garrus paused, staring at her for a moment as he wondered what that could possibly mean. Before he could ask, he heard telltale footsteps upon the window sill.
“They’re sending in troops!” Zaeed yelled from where he crouched, and the room erupted into chaos. Shot after shot, bodies dropped around them. Occasionally, the gunship would rear its ugly head, sending them all diving for cover again. To Garrus’ shock, though not entirely unappreciated, the gunship sprayed the room with rounds indiscriminately, often taking out a few unsuspecting Blue Suns mercs before they could realize what was happening.
All the while, Jane did her best to remain close by him, and Garrus wasn’t sorry for it. His last stim had long since begun to wear off, leaving his body feeling heavier and more sluggish than ever. His eyes felt leaden and sore, and he didn’t know if she suspected how compromised he was, but he was grateful for her presence none-the-less.
Garrus nearly jumped out of his plates as his visor pinged and he pulled up his omni-tool to see that one of his motion detectors had been tripped.
“They’re rappelling down the side wall. Ground floor!” He grunted to Jane as he lined up his next shot, attempting to take out a merc between the eyes, but missing and catching him in the neck instead.
“Shit.” Jane growled before hesitating for a moment, glancing at him and then the door. “Zaeed!” She bellowed at the older man, “With me! We’re going to mop up the ground floor!” With that, she darted out of the room, Zaeed hurrying after her. Within moments, Garrus felt an amused grin spread over his face as he heard the sounds of gunfire and the screams of faceless, nameless mercs from below.
The minutes ticked by at the unreliable pace they generally set during firefights, some seeming quicker than others. As necessary as he knew it had been to send a team to protect the stairs, he found himself counting the seconds until her return.
“They’re sending in more backup.” Garrus looked up from his scope to see Jane’s other companion, Jacob, duck into cover nearby.
“Gottcha.” Garrus murmured as he returned his focus to his scope, watching as more Blue Suns clambered through the window. He felt a familiar jolt of excitement course through him as he noticed a recognizable face amongst them. “Jentha…” Without hesitation, he lined up his shot and took it. He watched in satisfaction as the Blue Suns commander caught the bullet in the shoulder, sending her flying back and crashing to the floor with a spray of blood.
“Nice shot!” Jacob exclaimed, flashing Garrus a quick smile, which he returned before taking aim again. It didn’t take long for them to mop up the stragglers, and Jacob finally decided it was safe to leave cover to check over the bodies and check for any survivors. Garrus pulled out his assault rifle before standing and slowly scanning the room for signs of movement.
“Well, that was easy enough.” Jane announced as she opened the door and stepped inside, causing Garrus to snap around. Too late, he heard the sound of the gunship behind him, which seemed to appear out of nowhere.
“ Archangel! ” Tarak’s electronically magnified voice roared over the speakers, and Garrus spun to find himself nearly face to face with the gunship’s turrets.
“ Garrus! Get down!” Jane screamed as she and Zaeed flung themselves into cover just as the gunship opened fire. Garrus tried to make it to cover, but felt the hammer blows of the rounds colliding with his armor before he could do so much as take a step. Pain erupted where shots found soft spots around his arms and one even grazed his neck before he fell to the ground, pulling himself into cover. He hissed in pain as he leaned back against the low planter. Groaning, he tried to shift so he could look back around at the gunship, or as much as his sore and battered body would allow. Dread welled up in him as he saw it begin to lower, its rocket launcher coming into view.
“ This ends now !” Tarak’s frenzied voice cracked as it hollered at them.
Garrus had always thought his life was supposed to flash before his eyes at the end. He was supposed to think about everything he’d failed to accomplish, all the goals he’d never achieved. He was supposed to remember the good times with joy and the bad times with sorrow. He was supposed to see the faces of his loved ones, and hope that they wouldn’t mourn him too much…
But his mind was devoid of thoughts, just blind, silent panic as the launcher fired directly at him. He shifted and his eyes met hers. Jane’s face was awash with horror and the heartbreaking countenance of anticipated loss. Her green eyes, wild as she jerked forward, her hand outstretched toward him-
“ GARRUS!”
Mind blowing, fiery pain.
Sweet oblivion.
Illium, 1.25 Years Ago
“Hmm, now that is interesting. I wouldn’t have thought Jaliza’s tastes tended in that direction. That might be useful.” Jane chuckled as she lounged back in her chair, lifting her drink to sip from the straw before settling it back onto the table beside her. She sat by herself at an outdoor table at a quiet cafe in one of the trendy neighborhoods in Nos Astra, gazing out over a beautiful view of the city as the sun began to set.
“I only deal in useful information, I thought you’d figured that out by now, Shep.” Replied an amused, disembodied voice from nearby, but Jane’s eyes remained on the view before her as she smirked, leaning one elbow against an arm rest with an apparent lack of concern. With her free hand, she fiddled with a credit chit.
“So you do. That’s why I come to you, afterall. Anything else I might find useful for this mission before I head out?” Jane put the chit down to take another sip of her drink before picking it up again, spinning it deftly between two fingers.
“If someone were interested in breaking into her complex, I might recommend they take a look at the electrical panel near the east facing security door. A… previous visitor… may have installed a well disguised backdoor entrance hack, just in case another visit was warranted. Just sayin’.” Jane glanced back at the alleyway nearby, an eyebrow raised in wry amusement. “What? A good thief always leaves a backdoor open.”
“Touché. Well, that definitely will be useful for my mission. Thank you, Kasumi. I think this should more than cover your fee.” With a flick of her wrist, Jane sent the credit chit flying back toward the alleyway. Before it could hit the ground, the air fizzled and a hand appeared out of nowhere to grab it.
“Lovely doing business with you, as usual, Shep. How’s that tactical cloak holding up? No issues?” The hooded woman asked with a grin as she returned Jane’s casual wave, stuffing the credit chit into a back pocket.
“Of course, works as well as the day you sold it to me. Really impressive tech, honestly.”
“Good. Well, I need to be off. We have a job off-world. Wish me luck!”
“Like you need it.” Jane scoffed, standing up and brushing imaginary dust from her pants before reaching over to grab her sweatshirt off a nearby chair. “Hope it goes well, maybe I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Sure thing. Later, Shep.” With that, Kasumi fizzled out of view, leaving not even the sound of footsteps behind her.
“Color me impressed, Shepard. Jaliza T’mira wasn’t an easy target, and with her out of the way, her cartel should fall into disarray. Not bad, not bad at all.” Tela Vasir skimmed through notes on her datapad before she tossed it to Jane, who sat across from her on a couch in the asari’s living room. “You know, I had my reservations at first, honestly, what with you being a human and all. But you’re okay. Hot headed, of course, but hey. You’re only human.” Vasir smirked, and Jane rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop her own smile from playing across her lips.
“ Thaaanks . So, is that it then, for the Diathean tasks? Or do you have more seemingly impossible jobs for me before I prove myself? Because I can keep this up all year, if you need me to, but something tells me the council would like me to get on with it.” Jane tried to keep the sarcasm from dripping too excessively, but such was the nature of their friendship, if you could call it that.
“I’ve already forwarded them my report and recommendation that you be instated as a full Spectre. So, welcome aboard, I suppose. Officially, that is.” Vasir stood and offered Jane her hand, which she took in a firm shake.
“Thank you.”
“I’m marginally sure you won’t get yourself killed the moment you step foot undercover with Cerberus, but that said… You’re going to need a way in. What do you have laid out so far?” Vasir reached for a bottle nearby to pour herself a drink.
“Not much yet, but I have the makings of a plan. I have a contact here on Illium who happens to be an information broker, she and I go back aways.” Jane smiled as she stood, placing her glass back upon the table as she reminisced for a moment. There was no way to think back on her days aboard the Normandy without a bittersweet taste flooding her senses.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, let me set up a meeting with her in the morning, and I’ll get back to you when I have a plan formulated.”
Chapter 27: Part 2: Chapter 3
Summary:
In which Garrus wakes up to a surreal reality.
Notes:
Content warning for this chapter: It contains a somewhat graphic dream sequence, slightly more graphic than the rest of the story thus far. If you would like to skip it, stop reading at "Plunk. Plunk." and start again at "Beep. Beep."
In addition, this chapter contains rather extreme survivor's guilt which might be uncomfortable, depending.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 3
???
Pain. Burning, all consuming pain. Darkness. Oblivion.
A hand grabbed his shoulder and the world erupted in pain. His lungs screamed for air, and with a ragged gasp it felt like his whole body was on fire.
“ Garrus! ”
Jane. His eyes popped open, but the world seemed to swim around him. He felt something against his hand, and he reflexively closed his fingers in an attempt to reach her. Instead, they closed around something hard and cold. The hand on his shoulder pulled at him, and the world seemed to lurch, bringing a blurry face into view.
“We’re getting you out of here, Garrus.” He could feel the panic lacing her seemingly calm words and felt a cool, soft pressure against his forehead before he felt his eyes close. He tried to say something, anything, to reassure her. But when he opened his mouth, it took all he could not to scream as the pain seemed to intensify ten fold. He could taste the blood in his mouth and the world seemed to spin and lurch again. “Just hold on.”
Darkness started to seep into the edges of his vision, and all he could focus on was the splash of red and the bright, wide eyes gazing down at him.
“Radio Joker. Make sure they’re ready for us.” The pain seemed further away now, as though it were happening to someone else. He tried to smile up at her.
“Better hurry. He looks bad.”
Oblivion.
Pain. Voices, but nothing intelligible. He was jostled and suddenly there was a bright light somewhere above him. He managed to open his eyes and saw a human woman’s face hovering above him. Not Jane’s.
“It’s going to be okay, Garrus. Hang in there, this will help the pain.” Relief, the pain ebbing away slowly. He closed his eyes again.
Oblivion.
“...ot your fault…”
“...ust stop, I…”
“...serious, you nee…”
“...ohn, I get it.”
“It’s not your fault, you did everything right.”
“I know.”
“This could have happened even if I was there.”
“ I know. Knock it off, John. I happen to be well aware of the unpredictable nature of casualties in battle.”
Silence.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Jane. I didn’t-”
A sigh.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, John. I get it, I really do. You did what you had to do, I don’t blame you for dying. It sucked , it really fucking sucked , words don’t even begin to describe how much it sucked . But I get why you did what you did.”
“Then why are you so pissed right now, if you aren’t upset at me and you aren’t upset with yourself?”
“Of course I’m upset with myself. Do you know what I said to him? How I treated him? I punched him , John. At your memorial!”
Silence.
“Seriously?”
“Not my finest moment.”
“I’ll say.”
“Look, I was hurting and itching for someone to lash out at. I’m not proud of it. And he could have died today and I never would have been able to make it right with him. I never would have forgiven myself for that.”
“He’ll understand. You know that, right?”
“Maybe. But I don’t know if it will ever be the same between us, if he’ll ever forgive me for what I said and did.”
“I think he will, it might just take a little time. You guys were close, you’ll have that agai...”
“...hope so.”
“...ow close exactly wer…”
“...wasn’t like tha…”
“...uh-huh…”
“...ck you, John.”
Oblivion.
Plunk. Plunk. Plunk.
The sound of dripping. It echoed out of the darkness from far away in a soothing, repetitive pattern. Slowly, he opened his eyes, looking around for the source of the sound. It was closer, and seemed to be creeping up until it was coming from just before him. The darkness started to ebb away, leaving behind a beautiful, shimmering cacophony of colors.
He froze as the shapes coalesced into recognizable images.
Blood. Everywhere around where he stood, there was blood. Red, blue, and every shade in between, splattered across his face, his body, streaming down his arms and dripping from his fingers. Blood pooled at his feet, and looking down, he saw ten pairs of familiar, glazed eyes staring up at him. It trickled from screaming mouths, oozed from weeping gashes, streamed from ragged wounds.
Their eyes gazed up at him with accusation from broken, crumpled bodies, their deaths crashing down heavy upon his shoulders with deafening finality. He felt himself stumble and fall to his knees under the sudden, unexpected weight.
“ No-” His voice cracked as it escaped him in a gasp, but further words seemed beyond him as though he were struggling with something in his throat. A scream bubbled up and threatened to break free from his chest. He tried to bring his hands up to press his palms into his eyes, wanting to squeeze the images out of them, but found that he couldn’t lift his arms.
A horrifying, familiar electric screech rent the air and when he looked back up, the bodies were starting to twitch. The eyes that blinked up at him were a pulsing, glowing electric blue. Wires and tubes erupted from their mouths and other places, wrapping around their bodies as they started to pull themselves up.
The bodies of his fallen teammates took staggering, jerking steps as they came to stand around him, heads lulling even as their eyes continued to focus in on him with piercing intensity. He didn’t have the energy or will to move, realizing suddenly that he welcomed whatever fate they deemed appropriate for the man responsible for their deaths.
But instead of lurching forward to attack, they parted suddenly to allow another to step forward. With dawning horror, he struggled to recognize the achingly familiar face of a long lost friend. His visible skin was charred nearly black in places, peeling back to reveal the bleached bone beneath.
One of his arms seemed completely crushed where it hung limply, and his armor was pulverized, crumbling more with each step as he came closer. Blood oozed from the cracks, bubbling and vaporizing as the air around him seemed to shimmer and ignite. The visor of his helmet was cracked, but the eyes that stared down at him glowed a vivid red. Slowly, the man raised his other arm up, palm open as if to beckon, welcoming him to join them in death.
He didn’t need to see the N7 insignia upon the man’s chest to recognize his old Commander. The scream finally erupted from his chest as he scrambled backwards a pace or two only to fall back onto his elbows, shaking with the effort to continue looking up at him.
In the flash of an eye, Shepard was gone, replaced with a shorter, slighter frame. Red, lank hair and shadowed, haunted eyes stared down at him with a sneer of disdain. Her formal dress blues hung on her as she stepped forward slowly to stand above him menacingly. She clenched one fist in shaking rage.
“ It should have been me, Vakarian.”
She pulled her fist back and-
Plunk. Plunk. Pleep. Pleeeep. Bleeeep. Beeeep. Beeeep. Beeeeep-
When his eyes finally opened, the first thing he processed was the harsh overhead lighting and a nearby, quiet, rhythmic beeping. Things around him slowly started coming into focus and he made to lift his hand only to find that it felt like it was made of lead. He twisted his head and groaned as a lightning bolt of pain shot up his neck and across his face.
“ Spirits…!” He gasped and the world span, causing his stomach to churn unhappily.
“Easy there, try not to move, Garrus.” Said a familiar voice from nearby and he closed his eyes for a moment in hopes that the wave of nausea would fade. Upon opening his eyes, he registered the face attached to the voice, and nearly shut them again due to the fact that he must be dreaming.
“Doctor… Chakwas? Going to be honest… you were pretty… low on the list of people… I expected to see.” Garrus muttered, trying not to grit his teeth from the pain that talking caused. He heard her chuckle before responding dryly.
“It’s good to see you, too, Garrus. How are you feeling?”
“A bit like I got… chewed up and spat back.. out again… What happened? Where am I?” He slowly turned his head, allowing him a better view of her from where he lay. While she definitely seemed a bit older, she also seemed to be doing well, though there was something about her that seemed different, too.
“Hold on, I’ll give you something for the pain. It will be a low enough dose to take the edge off without muddling you up too much.” Dr. Chakwas leaned over to press a few buttons on a nearby console and he tried to smile, somewhat successfully.
“Less pain sounds good.”
“How much do you remember, Garrus?” He closed his eyes, trying to think back. He’d been in the apartment, pinned down. He’d called his father, then…
“Jane!” His eyes shot open. “Where is Jane?” He heard Dr. Chakwas chuckle before she responded.
“She’s fine, don’t worry. I don’t know where she is right now, but as soon as I’m finished checking on you, I can send for her if you would like.” Garrus nodded slowly, wincing at the pain the movement caused. “What else do you remember?”
“We were taking out the mercs that had us pinned down… Then there was the gunship. I don’t have many clear memories after that.” He remembered more than that, the events leading up to being trapped in that apartment starting to play on a reel through his head. He clenched his jaw and shut his eyes as he felt a stab of pain in his chest.
“I see. Well, it appears as though you took a rocket to the face.” Dr. Chakwas stated plainly, although a bit dryly, and the words took a moment to sink in. “You are very lucky to be alive, Garrus. We’re lucky Jane and her team got you back here as quickly as she did, and that Dr. Solus was willing to assist. While I do have training in turian medicine, the damage was quite extreme and his training far exceeds my own.”
“Ah… I see. How… How bad is it?” Garrus tried to keep the tremor out of his voice, returning his eyes to look up at the ceiling.
“I’m not going to lie, Garrus. The damage was quite extensive. But thanks to some clever cybernetics and a good deal of shear, dumb luck, I think you will have full functionality of your face, jaw, neck, and mandible eventually. You will just need some time to heal, though there will be scarring. There is very little we can do about that. I’m truly sorry.” The words hung in the air for a moment as Garrus processed the new information. It was a lot to take in. He lifted a hand up to his face but stopped as his fingers brushed against a soft, gauzy bandage.
“Can I see?” That caused her to stop, her lips pursed a little in contemplation. He poked gently at the bandage, causing her to swat his fingers away.
“Stop that. Or I'll restrain you again.” The doctor snapped in annoyance, “I don’t happen to have a handheld mirror at the moment, but either way, I would give it a little before you examine it. Let yourself process the events that happened to you before you add anything more to process. It may be difficult to adapt to the changes in your facial features.” Garrus grunted at that, somehow feeling like a little scarring was pretty low on his somewhat extensive list of priorities at the moment.
“Ah. Well, that’s… fine, I suppose.” After a moment, Garrus noted that the pain really did seem to be fading, and he decided sitting up might be within his scope of capabilities finally. With another groan, he shifted and slowly started to push himself up to sit with Dr. Chakwas’ help.
As the sheet fell down his bare chest, he immediately noticed his state of dress, or lack thereof. Looking up, he spotted the remains of his blue armor and froze. The cracked and charred chest piece was quite a sight, and he suddenly understood what she’d meant when she’d said he was lucky to be alive.
He looked up, not wanting to let his mind drift to the What Ifs attached to other possible outcomes. As his eyes wandered the room, they widened as he took in the details. He was in a very well stocked and equipped medbay, it easily blew every other ship he’d served on out of the water, even the Normandy. His eyes jumped from one piece of tech to another, and he couldn’t keep the wonder out of his voice when he turned to look at the doctor.
“Where… am I?”
Dr. Chakwas peered at him, her eyes sharp and searching as she seemed to consider her answer. The pause before she opened her mouth caused anxiety to creep up his back, considering all number of difficult or dangerous answers to the question. Nothing prepared him for her answer, however.
“You are in the medbay of the Normandy SR2.” The words hung between them before crashing into him like a thunderstorm.
“The what?” Garrus couldn’t keep a tinge of disbelief from his voice and he did his best to twist his head around to further examine the room, searching for answers in the details around him. Seeing the windows along the wall behind him, he carefully turned to peer out of them, seeing an eerily familiar mess hall and oval shaped passageway. And yet, it was something else altogether, in scope and details. “The Alliance… rebuilt it?”
“Not exactly. At least, not the Alliance.” Her words were hesitant, as though unsure how much to say, which put Garrus on edge.
“Who’s ship is this?” Glancing back, his eyes paused on her desk, a familiar symbol jumping out at him. It was the same one emblazoned on Jacob’s suit. Looking back out the window, he saw it again plastered across the shoulder of the sour looking cook’s uniform in the small kitchenette. Slowly, he brought his eyes down to the doctor’s desk before landing on the same logo etched across the side of her coffee mug. Finally, his eyes returned to Dr. Chakwas. She was no longer wearing her standard Alliance medical uniform, but instead a very sleek, white uniform that he’d never seen before.
“There is no easy way to say this, Garrus, and so I shall just put it plainly. This ship was built for, and is currently under the command of none other than Commander Shepard.” They remained silent for a moment, eyes locked as Garrus tried to process the information.
“So… Jane was promoted to Commander, then?” Garrus asked, his voice hesitant as he struggled to understand the odd way she had phrased the statement. He was well aware that Jane was in some sort of command role, and that had seemed like a somewhat melodramatic way of explaining information not altogether new to him. The doctor’s eyes widened at his question, her mouth opening to respond before clicking shut, a brow lifting slightly as she tilted her head in consideration.
“That’s not exactly incorrect, technically, though it doesn’t matter now that she’s left the Alliance.” Garrus shot up in shock, feeling as though he’d been hit.
“She left ? But why? She loved the Alliance.”
“You will need to ask her , I suspect we all had our own reasons for doing it.” All of a sudden, he could see the green on the Presidium, the bedraggled Lieutenant clenching the folded flag, her eyes dead and her lips twisted in a sneer. A lot had happened and it had been a long two years. He didn’t really even know her anymore, who knows what she would or wouldn’t do. But then Garrus processed the rest of what the doctor was saying.
“Wait, none of you are Alliance?”
“Not anymore, some of them have never been. Garrus, this ship was funded, built, and staffed by Cerberus.”
Cerberus. Cerberus.
Experiments with rachni, Thorian creepers, husks, thresher maws. Corporal Toombs. Admiral Kahoku.
“Cerberus. Humanity-first paramilitary group infamous for complete lack of morals. You expect me to believe that Jane Shepard left the Alliance to join Cerberus. Along with you and countless others. I’m sorry, I might have been hiding in the ass crack of the galaxy, but I wasn’t so out of touch that I missed hearing about the end of the world, which I suspect would be the only thing that would convince Jane to do something as asinine as joining Cerberus.” Garrus all but spat, his eyes narrowing as his fingers clenched the sheet draped across his lap. Dr. Chakwas smiled wearily at him, shaking her head sadly.
“I wish I could tell you why she joined, but I don’t know. Like I said, you will need to ask her. As for myself, I am here for Joker, and for Commander Shepard. Commander John Shepard.” If her words earlier had hung heavy, these hit his chest like a brick, knocking the air from his lungs.
“ What? ”
“He’s alive, Garrus. He’s most likely on the deck above us as we speak. He’s alive and he’s in command of his ship. That’s why I’m here, that’s why most of us are here. That’s why you are here.” Dr. Chakwas explained kindly, but Garrus could barely feel the comforting hand she placed gently upon his shoulder.
“But I… I don’t understand. I thought he was dead. We all thought he was dead.” His own voice seemed to echo back at him from down a tunnel, his mind spinning at the implications of what the doctor was saying.
“I know this is a lot to take in, Garrus. From what I understand, he was essentially dead. Cerberus spent the last two years rebuilding him. He has only been awake for about a week or two.”
“I-” He swallowed, looking away, “I don’t know what to think. I can’t possibly believe that’s true.”
“ I can corroborate the Doctor’s story, Officer Vakarian, and offer additional information if necessary .” A cool, electronic, feminie voice echoed through the room’s speakers.
“Who, or what, are you?” Garrus raised a brow plate as he glanced upward.
“ I am the Normandy’s artificial intelligence. You may call me EDI .” He brought a hand up to rub his eyes, gingerly avoiding his damaged mandible.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“ While I am equipped with several humorous sub-routines for use in a plethora of situations, I am currently not using any of them, Officer Vakarian, but I suspect you know that, as you are not laughing. I believe the best option would be for you to go up and meet with the Commander. He is currently in the Communications Room meeting with Mr. Taylor.”
“I see. Thank you . EDI.”
“ You are welcome .” He wondered if he imagined the slight smugness in its… in her voice.
The door to the medbay whooshed opened with a melodic beep and a beautifully familiar voice made his head shoot up.
“You’ll have to forgive her, she’s still learning about sarcasm. I am trying my best to teach her, though.” Garrus couldn’t stop the smile from growing on his face, despite the twinge of pain. Jane stepped into the room, her stride so casually confident that it tugged at his heart strings.
“Jane.” The name rolled off his tongue in such a wonderful, comforting way that until recently, he’d never thought to hear again. She smiled as she came to stop before him, a bundle tucked under one arm. But then, for a split second, it wasn’t this Jane standing before his eyes, but the one from his nightmare, the one from his memory. Shadowed, dead eyes glaring up at him from behind limp red wisps of hair, hatred and fury radiating off her in waves as dress blues hung off her unreasonably lean frame.
But this Jane wasn’t wearing dress blues. He blinked to clear the vision, and when he looked again, Jane was wearing casual civilian clothing, of all things, which shouldn’t surprise him given what Dr. Chakwas had told him. She was wearing a worn, black hoodie with a red and white stripe down one arm, a pair of loose fitting dark pants with a number of pockets along with a pair of combat boots. The outfit seemed to suit her, somehow, though it seemed so alien in comparison to her usual Alliance uniform.
“Garrus.” The warmth in her voice made his chest tighten in a way that took him right back to their time together all those years ago, and yet something was different now in a way he was frightened to examine. He had noticed a new intensity between them back on Omega, but now he also felt a chasm stretching between them. A distance he didn’t know how to bridge, and he wondered if she felt it, too. Time, unanswered questions, and the events at the memorial service filled the chasm with churning choppy waters, making it a daunting task. He felt his face starting to warm in embarrassment and confusion, and struggled to fight the urge to run. Instead, he decided to see if they could fall back into their old familiar banter. Forcing a grin, he narrowed his eyes and gestured up at his face.
“She won’t give me a mirror. How bad is it?” He let his voice grate with mock frustration, allowing his widened mandibles to hint at his attempt at humor. Jane looked his injuries over with a raised brow, a slight look of concern flicking across her face before she allowed a quirk of her lips.
“Hell, Garrus. You were always ugly.” Her eyes narrowed, her grin becoming sly, “Slap some face-paint on there and no one will even notice.” She leaned back, crossing her arms, tilting her head ever so slightly, her eyes locking with his in challenge. Before he could stop himself, he let go a bark of laughter, wincing as the sudden jerk of his mandibles caused a stab of pain.
“Don’t make me laugh, damn it. My face is barely holding together as it is.” Garrus chuckled softly, and he let his eyes wander her face. As they fell upon the small new scar bisecting one of her eyebrows, he could hear her playful voice bouncing around in a memory from early in his days aboard the original Normandy.
Not that I’d mind either way, scars can be damn sexy. Isn’t that right, Wrex?
Later, he’d blame his next words on the pain drugs, as they seemed to tumble out of his mouth before he even managed to acknowledge them.
“If memory serves, some women find facial scars attractive.” Garrus drawled with a brow plate raised suggestively. Jane’s eyes widened and her pink lips parted ever so slightly, and he almost laughed at the complete look of open surprise on her face. He started to panic slightly as a faint blush started to creep up her cheeks, hoping he hadn’t overstepped a boundary. Backtracking, he found his usual comfort in humor. “Mind you, most of those women are krogan…”
Jane continued to stare at him for a horrible, awkward heartbeat before she threw her head back and laughed, bringing a hand up to cover her face.
“I can’t believe you remember that!” Jane wheezed between chuckles as she attempted a deep breath, rubbing at an eye. Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle along with her, feeling as though, perhaps, that chasm between them wasn't as uncrossable as it seemed. But after a moment, they both fell silent as their eyes met again. Hers held his captive and he shivered as he noted an almost predatory gleam in them.
There was a sudden cough, and Garrus tried not to jump as they both remembered the other woman standing just behind Jane.
“I’ll just step out for a moment, give you two some time to catch up.” Dr. Chakwas stated delicately as she smiled, making her way toward the door.
“Yes, ah, thank you Doctor.” Garrus muttered, looking away and lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Of course, Garrus.” She lifted a hand in farewell before stepping through the door, leaving behind a silent room.
Once they were alone, Jane sighed and ran a hand through her hair before dropping the bundle she’d had on the other bed just behind her. She leaned her weight back and with a little jump she used her hands to pull herself up and back to sit on the bed, her legs dangling above the floor.
“Jesus, Garrus, you really scared me back there. I thought you were going to die, there was so much blood.” She braced her elbows on her knees, leaning forward to rest her face in her hands. She looked so exhausted all of a sudden. He didn’t know what to say, suddenly feeling like there were too many questions, too much to say, and yet not enough words. Too big a chasm.
It should have been me.
“How long have I been out?” Garrus started with an easy question, trying to push all the hard ones back into the box he'd tried to keep his thoughts of her in the past two years.
“About two days. The surgery took about 8 hours, you thrashed around a bit while on the table and they had to restrain you until you could be sedated. You’ve been resting ever since. How long did they have you cornered up there in that apartment? You looked exhausted when we found you.” He turned from the red haired woman before him to look down at his hands in his lap, thinking.
“The timeline in my head gets a little fuzzy, but I think it was probably three or four days, not counting the events leading up to that. I was running off stims and energy bars for a while there.”
“ Jesus , Garrus.” Jane looked up just enough to stare at him over her hands before running her fingers through her hair again. It was hard not to fall into his old habit of watching each lock of hair as they traveled between her soft looking digits. “You’re lucky to be alive.”
“So I’ve been told.” The dry reply tasted like sand in his mouth.
It should have been me.
“What happened ? How did you end up in that situation?” She asked, but Garrus couldn’t bring himself to look up, instead fiddling with the blanket in his lap, his throat getting tighter as he tried to figure out how to put everything into words. The moments dragged on, the silence stretching. Jane seemed to sense his struggle, for when she continued, her voice was gentle.
“I contacted Aria, she’s lending me a team to handle… everything we found back at the apartment. The bodies… I’m assuming you were the one who… I’m assuming they were… You can let me know what you want done with them, if you want.” Garrus closed his eyes, leaning his head back, feeling a deep ache in his chest, which he tried to ram down into a different, new box somewhere in the back of his head.
“Jane, I-” He coughed as his voice came out cracked and tight, “I know I promised you an answer if you got me out, but I need… I need a little time.”
“It’s okay, I understand. I really do. When you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.” He glanced over at her, and she nodded firmly, her eyes set. When their eyes met, she smiled softly.
“Thanks. I believe you promised answers, too, though. Cerberus? Really, Jane? You remember those sick experiments they were doing. How did you end up taking orders from them?” Her smile instantly evaporated, and something behind her eyes shifted. He cursed silently as the chasm between them seemed to grow a mile in the space of a breath at the mention of the name, like she put on a mask.
“Cerberus-” She spat, “-doesn’t matter. What matters is this ship, here and now, and the team we’re building. I’m not here for Cerberus .” She sneered at the floor, and Garrus felt something in his chest loosen slightly, “I’m here for John.” At that name, he raised a brow plate.
“Jane, the things Chakwas was saying, I can’t honestly believe any of it. Shepard, he can’t… He’s dead. ” Garrus watched her carefully as he stated it bluntly, part of him waiting for the acid and spitfire of the memorial service that he remembered too vividly. Jane remained passive, her shoulders even loosened a little.
“It’s true, Garrus. He’s alive, he’s here. John’s in command of this ship, the Normandy SR2. It’s all for him, we’re all here for him. It’s why you’re here, it’s why we were sent to find Archangel .” Suddenly, her grin was back. “A title which, by the way, you will not be living down anytime soon.”
He found it impossible to raise to her bait, her previous words still echoing around in his head.
“Jane, I can’t… I want to believe you. So badly. But-”
“ Commander Shepard is still upstairs in the Communications Room if you would like to speak with him.” EDI’s artificial voice filtered through the room’s speakers again, making Garrus jump.
“Why don’t we head upstairs and you can see for yourself? I couldn’t honestly believe it until I saw him, either.” Jane jumped forward, her feet thudding onto the medbay’s floor, her hands on her hips. Garrus hesitated only a moment before nodding.
“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.” He shifted to pull his legs around to the edge of the bed, but stopped when Jane held out a hand to stop him with a raised brow.
“Hold up there, Big Guy. Not that I wouldn’t mind an eye full, but-” She cut off as she turned to grab up the bundle before her, returning to toss it into his lap. “It might be a little inappropriate to run around the ship in the buff.” Jane grinned as he looked down and remembered that he was completely naked under the sheet.
“Crap…” He felt the heat creeping up his face again as he readjusted the sheet, causing her to laugh.
“Sorry we didn’t have anything cut and sized for turians, wouldn’t you know it. I took the liberty of popping back to Omega to scrounge you up something to wear until you can get some… less charred equipment.” She gestured to the bundle in his lap, which he suddenly realized were clothes. “I’ll meet you in the hall when you’re done getting dressed. EDI, could you please shutter the windows so he can have some privacy?”
“ Of course .” With that, the windows glazed over, blocking out the view into the mess hall.
“Thanks.” Was all he managed to mutter as he took a look at the clothes she’d picked out for him. Jane turned to leave, sticking one hand in a pocket, the other raised in a lazy goodbye.
As the door shut behind her, he let himself breath in the peace of finally being alone. Suddenly, he felt ten sets of glazed, dead eyes watching him from over his shoulder, out of sight but never out of mind. The weight settled heavily on his shoulders. Clenching his eyes shut, he rammed them down into their box.
It should have been me.
Illium, 1.25 Years Ago
“Jane, it’s good to see you again.” Liara said warmly from where she sat behind her desk, an oddly solid and imposing figure in comparison to the fidgety doctor they’d rescued from a crumbling ruin not that long ago.
“Liara, likewise.” Jane murmured as she came to sit across from her, the chair plush and comfortable, a disconcerting juxtaposition to Liara’s hardened gaze. “You seem busy as usual.”
“The information business never sleeps, and sometimes neither do I. How can I help you this time?” Liara asked, her eyes darting to her computer screen for a moment before flicking back to her, betraying her disinterest. Jane hesitated, glancing around the small office.
“There’s some people I need information on, and I was thinking you might know where I should start.” Jane pulled up her omni-tool and ran the bug scanning program Vasir had given her with a quick wave of her hand. It came up negative. “What do you know about the group called Cerberus?” To Jane’s surprise, Liara visibly started in her seat, her widened eyes jumping away from her screen and back to Jane in a flash.
“Wh-why do you need to know about Cerberus?” Liara stumbled over her words, concern growing on her face. The strong reaction surprised Jane, causing her to pause and examine the asari before her as she continued carefully.
“I need to infiltrate their ranks for… reasons. And I’m hoping you can set me in the right direction.” She explained, opting for a majority of the truth, if perhaps not all of it. Liara’s eyes darted between hers for a moment before she looked away, her shoulders slumping in what almost appeared to be relief before her brows knit in thought.
“I… may be able to help you.” She said after a moment, her attention returning to Jane. Jane felt triumph start to blossom in her breast until Liara added, “Under one condition.”
“Which is…?”
“I need information on the Shadow Broker.” Liara’s shoulder set as her jaw tightened, and Jane sat back in her chair in surprise.
“And how exactly am I supposed to help with that?” It was hard to keep the exasperation from her voice.
“I suspect that Cerberus has the information I desire, and you’re going to get it for me when you infiltrate them.” Liara explained calmly as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. It was a tone of voice that expected, no, demanded cooperation, and Jane was set strongly in mind of Liara’s mother. She chuckled dryly at the thought.
“Okay, deal. Assuming there is information to find on the Shadow Broker, I will get my hands on it for you. But my mission is my top priority, and I won’t do anything that compromises it. Understand?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Cerberus for the Shadow Broker. Seems fair enough.” They both leaned forward and shook hands before returning to their seats. “Why, exactly, are you so interested in the Shadow Broker anyway?” Jane asked as she leaned back into her chair and was surprised to see a glint of steel in the other woman’s eyes at the question.
“It’s a long story, which I don’t have time to go into right now. We crossed paths not long after the attack on the Normandy, and I’m going to make him pay for what he did.” Liara spat, the cold vehemence causing the hairs on the back of Jane’s neck to stand up.
“Sounds like a story worth hearing.”
“If you get me that data, I’ll tell you the whole story.”
“Deal. So, about Cerberus…”
“Yes, I have some contacts I can get a hold of to make sure you gain the attention you need. Given their current recruitment practices, you could already be on their radar now that you’ve left the Alliance.” Liara started pulling up holo screens, flicking between them quickly as her eyes scrolled through information, “But I recommend getting a job and attempting to blend in, it will help remove any hesitation they might have about approaching you. Perhaps as a mercenary or bounty hunter. I believe Omega would be a good place to start, they have a presence there these days.” Jane nodded slowly, bringing a hand up to tab her chin in consideration.
“Sure, I think I can manage that.”
“I have a… an acquaintance on Omega I can get you in contact with, I think she can get you some jobs. In fact, if I remember correctly, she’s currently in the market for someone with a… certain set of skills that I think you are suited for.” Liara’s fingers paused for a moment, a slow smile spreading across her face as her eyes flicked up to Jane momentarily. “I think you two will get along. I’ll shoot her a message to expect you.” Jane raised an eyebrow, but Liara looked back down at her screens without further explanation. “When are you planning on leaving Illium?”
“As soon as I have a plan.”
“Okay, I’ll forward you some information.” Jane nodded slowly as she stood, running a hand through her frustratingly long hair.
“Thank you Liara. I really appreciate your help.”
“It’s my pleasure, Jane. I wish I could do more.” Liara looked up again, a genuine smile warming her face.
“This is more than I expected, to be honest. Anyway, I should go.” Jane turned to leave, but paused as Liara called out.
“Jane, wait. There’s one more thing.” Liara stood, her brows knit again with concern, “I’m not really sure why, but the Collectors are interested in Shepard.” The unexpected information hit Jane over the head like a brick, almost causing her to stagger backwards.
“But… John is dead.” The words still felt bitter in her mouth.
“I know.” Liara’s eyes shifted away for a moment before returning to her. “Regardless, watch out for the Collectors. They’re up to something, but I don’t know what. The Shadow Broker is working with them, and their attention may turn to you, or anyone who used to be connected to Shepard. They have agents everywhere, so please watch your back.”
“Noted, thank you for the heads up.” Jane stated, attempting to mask the confusion and discomfort in her voice. The warning was eerie and ominous, especially because she wasn’t entirely sure who the Collectors were besides vague rumors. Maybe it was time that changed.
“Of course. Take care, Jane.”
“You too, Liara.”
“Why Omega ?” Tela Vasir inquired, her voice laced with doubt, her lips twisted in a faint sneer as though she smelled something vaguely foul.
“My contact says they have a strong footing there and it should be easy to be noticed.” Jane explained as patiently as she could as she strapped her armor on, piece by piece.
“Well, I can’t argue with that. I’ve just never liked Omega much.” Vasir crossed her arms, looking away with a bored expression.
“It’s not that different from Illium from what I’ve heard.” Jane pointed out, eliciting a snort from the asari.
“Illium is just Omega with expensive shoes, but it sure as hell smells better here.”
Jane stood and finished doing up her armor’s buckles before reaching over to grab her weapons, affixing them to her back one by one in silence. Once she was done, she grabbed her small pack, opening it to check on her few belongings. Traveling light seemed the best bet, given the situation. Finally, she looked up to find Vasir watching her.
“You’re on your own from here on out. Keep in contact, but only when you’re able to get a secure connection. Take every precaution, assume they are always watching. You can’t be too careful. If they discover you, they’re not going to give you the benefit of the doubt.” Vasir explained, her eyes and feet set. Jane looked at her, bemused.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say you were concerned.” She grinned as she shifted her weight to the side, crossing her arms as well. Vasir rolled her eyes, unamused.
“I have a vested interest in this mission. I’ve been trying to access Cerberus for a while now, and this is the closest I’ve gotten. I’ve got a few other back up plans, but please. Don’t fuck this up.”
“I’m hardly the only option for placing a mole amongst their ranks…” Jane scoffed, turning toward the doors. “But it’s been swell, Vasir. Thanks for showing me the ropes. You’ll hear from me as soon as there’s something to hear.”
“Good luck, Shepard.” Jane raised her hand in a farewell, but as she reached for the door’s holopanel, she froze, a thought tickling the back of her mind. Turning part way back toward the asari, Jane leveled her with a searching gaze.
“Vasir… I’ve never asked, but… Why the interest in Cerberus? Why are you so invested in this mission? And don’t tell me the reasons the Council gave. I can tell there’s more to it than that.” Vasir remained where she was, her eyes focused on something far away through the window. The moment dragged on for some amount of time before her eyes flicked to Jane, measuring and weighing.
“They have information I’m interested in recovering. One way or another, I’m going to get what I need.” Vasir stated, her voice low and cold, before snapping her eyes away, back out the window. When it became clear that that was the only answer Jane would receive, she turned and left, her face tight as her mind raced.
Chapter 28: Part 2: Chapter 4
Summary:
In which Garrus greets an old friend.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 4
The Normandy SR2, Present Day
Although it had taken him a bit to work up the nerve to remove the sheets and get dressed with that artificial intelligence and spirits knew who else watching, Garrus finally stepped toward the doors of the medbay, fully dressed. He took a moment to look down and evaluate himself, and he had to admit that Jane had guessed his size fairly accurately. Something about that made his chest tighten not unpleasantly. All of a sudden, the door beeped and whooshed open to reveal Dr. Chakwas with a fresh cup of coffee in her hands.
“Garrus,” She exclaimed in surprise, stepping into the room, “Are you feeling steady enough to be out of bed? I don’t want you pushing yourself, your wounds are quite serious.” Garrus tried to smile at the woman, but worried that it came across as more of a grimace. Maybe she couldn’t tell the difference, human facial expressions were so different.
“I’m fine, whatever you gave me before worked like a charm. I need to meet with Jane, she’s bringing me to see… Shepard.” He couldn’t stop the hesitation in his voice as he stumbled over the name. It felt old and stale on his tongue as though it had been ages since he’d been used to saying it. She stared him down, raising one disbelieving eyebrow as she looked him up and down from his wobbling knees to his eyes pinched in pain. “I’m not at my strongest, but I’ll be okay.” He conceded after a moment.
“Hmm. Well, okay, but don’t push yourself. When you’re done with the Commander, please come straight back. I have a few more tests I would like to run before I’m done with you, and you need rest.” Garrus nodded quickly, eager to make whatever promises he needed to get out of the bright lights of the medbay. He’d just managed to side step the doctor when he froze, turning around to look back at her.
“You wouldn’t happen to know what happened to my visor, would you? I peeked through the pile of gear, but I didn’t see it.” Garrus felt himself holding his breath as he waited for her answer. There were so many files he’d kept saved on his visor, the thought of losing it was a little heartbreaking. Chakwas seemed to consider the thought before frowning.
“You know, I’m not sure. I remember removing it when you were first brought in, but I don’t remember seeing it after that. It was fairly damaged in the explosion, I’m sorry Garrus.” He felt himself wilt, but nodded his head.
“I see. Well, thank you. Hopefully it will turn up. Please let me know if you see it.” She nodded and he turned to leave, only to realize he had no idea where he was supposed to be going. Stepping forward tentatively, he expected to see the stairways leading to the upper deck, only to find a series of doors. This ship was clearly different from the original Normandy, not only sleeker but substantially bigger.
Turning, Garrus nearly jumped when he saw Jane leaning against the wall, watching him. She pushed herself off the wall and jammed her fist through a holo button for what he realized was the elevator. Looking up at him, she gestured for him to follow as the door opened and she stepped inside.
The door closed and they both took up position at either end of the enclosed space, the silence stretching out to fill it. Garrus tried to keep his eyes on his feet before him, his arms crossed, but every now and then he found himself looking up to glance at the woman before him. After a few instances of catching her eyes moving away, he wondered idly if she found the silence as awkward as he did. He couldn’t remember a point in their friendship that had ever felt quite this strange, and it made his heart sink.
“You look good.” His eyes shot up to look at her in surprise, his mandibles fluttering at the sudden compliment. “The clothes fit well.” Her face was expressionless, but he felt himself flush at the attention, regardless.
“Thanks.” He managed to mutter, pleased until the silence set in and he felt the awkwardness attempting to suffocate him. Stumbling, he attempted to keep the conversation afloat, which somehow had him feeling like a gangly teen all over again. “I, er- You did a good job picking the right size.” She opened her mouth to reply, a sudden sheepish look on her face, but was interrupted before she could say anything.
“ Your fit and clothing size data was still on file in the C-Sec databases, it was quite simple for me to access your old personnel files. Their firewalls were surprisingly easy to bypass.” The electronic voice that filtered through the elevator’s speakers sounded almost smug, and Garrus noticed Jane roll her eyes somewhat affectionately.
“Well, EDI, I don’t think they ever considered the pants size of their investigators to be terribly sensitive data in need of layers of encryption.” Garrus couldn’t help the amused snort that left him.
A moment later, the door opened to reveal the CIC. As they stepped out, his heart clenched at the familiar room. It was, without a doubt, the Normandy’s CIC, though on a completely different scale. The room was massive, and like the rest of the ship, a huge improvement upon the original. The size helped rid it of the slightly claustrophobic feeling he’d felt before and the sleekness made it nearly a work of art.
Jane, who had already turned to head toward a door on the right side of the room, turned back to see him gaping like a fish. Smirking, she crossed her arms and tapped her foot in a teasing fashion.
“Yes, yes, it’s all very impressive. There will be time for a tour later. Let’s get a move on.” She called out before disappearing through the door. Hurrying to catch up, Garrus followed her into a room that was clearly a lab of some sort. He froze when he noticed the older salarian standing at a table in the middle of the room typing into a console. The man’s eyes glanced up quick as a flash upon their entry before dropping back down to the screen before him.
“Shepard, how can I hel-” The salarian cut himself off suddenly, his fingers freezing as he glanced over to look Garrus up and down. “Oh ho, up already, are you? Yes, given background, physical conditioning, experience. Not surprising. Reputation, well deserved. Archangel. Good to finally meet in person.” Garrus felt his jaw pop open in surprise at the rapid flow of words from the older man.
“ This ,” Jane gestured to the salarian, “Is Mordin Solus. He ran the-”
“-the clinic on Omega, yes I know. Or, knew of him.” Garrus glanced at Jane before returning his gaze to Mordin. “Like you said, it’s good to finally meet. I hope you found the, uh… commandeered supplies we sent your way helpful?”
“Ah, yes, yes. Additional supplies always useful. Always appreciated. Approved of your work on Omega. Very helpful.” Mordin nodded as he narrowed his eyes slightly. Garrus blinked in surprise.
“I didn’t expect that from a doctor. Our methods were… a bit- er, permanent.”
“Lots of ways to help people. Sometimes heal patients.” Mordin gestured to himself, “Sometimes execute dangerous people.” He gestured to Garrus, “Either way helps. Two faces. Same coin.” Garrus felt himself smile, deciding he liked the older salarian. Mordin opened his mouth to continue, only to be interrupted by an abrupt cough from Jane.
“We can stop by to chat more later, but I need to get him over to meet with John.”
“Ah, yes. Pleasure to meet you. Come see me later. Facial cybernetics still healing. Will need to examine soon. Stop by when you’re done. I’ll be here.” With a complete lack of ceremony, Mordin abruptly returned to his work as though the two of them were no longer there. Garrus looked over and shared a look with Jane, who smiled and shrugged as if to say ‘it is what it is’, and they continued through the next door.
Garrus paused before the door to the communication room, suddenly feeling his feet drag. He could feel apprehension starting to flutter in his belly, unsure of what to expect behind the door. Jane looked back at him, a question in her eyes. He squared his shoulders, pushing back the nerves and nodded. Jane brought her hand up to the door controls and it whooshed open to reveal two men deep in conversation.
“-Best we can tell, he’ll have full functionality, but-” Jacob paused as Garrus and Jane strode into the room, Jane pausing to lean against the door frame with her arms crossed. Both men looked up and turned to face them, and Garrus felt it like a blow to the stomach.
Before him stood none other than John Shepard, in the flesh. He looked almost exactly as Garrus remembered him, short cropped hair, small scar by his hairline, chiseled face, warm and inviting eyes. The only difference was a jarring set of scars spider-webbing across one of his cheeks.
“Tough son of a bitch. Didn’t think he’d be up yet.” Jacob murmured appreciatively as he examined Garrus, and Shepard’s face broke into a huge grin as he stepped forward. Garrus opened his mouth to say something, but found no words waiting on his tongue. He was well and truly speechless.
“Garrus! Man, is it good to see you on your feet. When I assigned Jane to lead the mission to rescue Archangel, I had no idea that it would be you ! What are the chances? But then she dragged you aboard, a bloody mess. How are you feeling?” Shepard grabbed up his hand in a firm shake, reaching forward to clap him on the shoulder with his other hand. Garrus couldn’t help but smile and he felt sensation beginning to return to his limbs, enough to return the gesture.
“I feel like I should be the one asking you . I thought you were dead, Shepard.” He couldn’t quite keep the breathy disbelief from his voice. Shepard chuckled, and though the sound was blissfully familiar, there was a new, cynical edge to the sound.
“Yeah, I thought so, too. But here I am, alive and whole. Which is slightly more than I can say about you. They did what they could, but you’re going to have some scars. I’m sorry.” Garrus shrugged off the concern, juggling his discomfort and shock with the thought that Shepard seemed to be having his own issues with scarring. After a moment, he latched onto comforting humor.
“Ah, probably for the best.” He took a step back and shrugged nonchalantly, “Everyone was always ignoring you and hitting on me. Time for you to get a fair shot at it.” There was a snort from behind him, and he glanced over his shoulder briefly to see Jane covering a grin with a hand. Looking back to Shepard, he saw the man’s amused brow lift as he shook his head in exasperation.
“I just woke up from having died and I’m already the butt of your jokes, eh guys?” Shepard shot a long suffering look at both him and Jane, causing Garrus to grin. Out of the corner of his eye, he noted Jacob offering a quick salute to Shepard before leaving the room.
“Well, I’ll leave you guys to catch up and talk business. Call if you need anything.” Jane offered before turning to follow Jacob out of the room. It was silent for a few moments as Garrus tried to reconcile with the fact that John Shepard was indeed standing before him, alive.
“Shepard, how are you alive? Joker saw you get spaced.” A pained expression flitted across Shepard’s face for a moment before returning to his usual stoicism.
“To be honest? I’m not really sure. Cerberus ended up with my body, somehow, and they paid an arm and a leg to put me back together. I only just woke up a little while ago to find they had all this-” Shepard gestured about to the ship around them, “-ready for me, along with a mission.”
“A mission?”
“Entire human colonies have been disappearing, Garrus. No evidence of violence, nothing stolen besides the people. Every man, woman, and child. Gone without a trace. Cerberus wants to know how and why, and to stop it if we can.” Garrus frowned as he considered the information.
“Bizzare. Can’t say I’ve heard much about it. Why aren't the Alliance the ones dealing with this?”
“I’m not sure why no one seems concerned about it. We’re going to be making our way to the Citadel soon to talk to Anderson and the council, so maybe we’ll learn more. But Cerberus is willing to give me this ship, the manpower, and the funds to investigate, and I intend to get to the bottom of it.”
“They certainly went to a great deal of trouble to bring you back. Not that I’m complaining, mind you, but why did they feel like they needed you for this?”
“We’ve learned that it’s the Collectors attacking the colonies, and we suspect it’s the Reapers pulling their strings. Cerberus thought I was the only man for the job, I suppose.” Garrus’ blood ran cold at the mention of the Reapers, the seriousness of the situation becoming apparent.
“I see. Well, that makes a little more sense, then.”
“Garrus, I’m not going to lie. This mission is incredibly dangerous. We’re likely going to be attempting to make a trip through the Omega 4 Relay, which might be a one way trip. We’re not sure. That said, I cannot emphasize enough how important this mission is. I’m putting together a team, the best of the best, to help me take the Collectors out. I understand if you’re not willing to join us, especially after everything you’ve been through recently. But I’d like you to consider it, we can really use a man of your expertise and knowledge.” Garrus studied the man before him and his proposition in silence for a moment, his brow plates pressed together in a thoughtful frown.
“Are you sure you trust Cerberus, Shepard? You remember the awful experiments they were doing.” Garrus asked carefully, and Shepard sneered at the wall where the Cerberus emblem was emblazoned.
“That’s why I’m glad you’re here, Garrus. If I’m walking into hell, I want someone I can trust at my side.” Garrus felt his mandibles flick at the other man’s words and he couldn’t stop a sardonic smile from creeping onto his face.
“You do realize this plan has me walking into hell, too.” Garrus chuckled, rolling his eyes, “Just like old times. Count me in.” He hadn’t really even needed to think about it, honestly. He had nowhere else to go. His team was dead, and he couldn’t imagine slinking back to Palaven with his tail between his legs. If the Shepards needed his help for something, who was he to say no?
And if he died? Well, he never should have escaped that apartment on Omega. He was living on borrowed time, and Death was going to come knocking eventually, anyway.
“Wonderful, thank you, Garrus.” Shepard offered his hand again and they shook. “It’s so good to finally have someone on board whom I know I can trust.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his close cropped hair in clear evidence of the stress he was under. Garrus felt himself pause, confused.
“I can understand not trusting Cerberus, that I approve of. But what about Jane? She’s your sister, you guys are close. Surely you can trust her if you can trust anyone.” Shepard seemed to tense, his eyes darting away as his face went blank. The silence dragged on for a moment before Shepard abruptly changed the topic.
“Would you be up for accompanying me back to Omega to pick up some last minute supplies before we head out?” Garrus hesitated at the unexpected question, reeling with conversational whiplash.
“I suppose so. I do need to replace my armor and get some other equipment. But I doubt Chakwas will be happy with me if I leave without checking with her first. Mordin also wanted me to visit him.” Garrus shrugged and Shepard chuckled, his smile still pinched and strained.
“That’s fine, we’re not in a rush quite yet. If they give you too much hassle, just let me know.”
“Honestly, they both scare me a little.”
“You and me both.”
Omega, 1.25 Years Ago
Much like Illium, Omega was somehow exactly as Jane had imagined, and yet completely different. As she stepped off the shuttle, her pack over her shoulder, she took a moment to take in the dirt, gloom, and stink of the place, and instantly understood what Tela Vasir had meant. As she walked by, a group of grimy looking vorcha sneered at her from where they crouched against the wall nearby, hissing obscenities at her in low growls. Further down the hall, two men kicked at a fallen batarian, cursing at him for trying to skip out on a bill. Garbage, muck, and god knew what else littered the floor, filling a few corners and tumbling out of nearby forgotten trash cans.
Sneering, Jane continued down the hall until it opened up into some sort of market bustling with denizens of all sorts. There were enough people coming and going that she didn’t stand out, despite being a newcomer, but it was still hard to shake the feeling of being watched. As she slowly weaved her way between stalls, shops, and patrons, the sensation of being watched only intensified, making the hair on her neck stand up. Glancing around, she only managed to register a sea of foreign faces, colors, and species, and so she picked up her pace, attempting to pull up some sort of map on her omni-tool.
Catching the sound of hurried feet somewhere vaguely behind her, Jane felt her heart begin to pound as Liara’s words of warning drifted back to her.
Watch out for the Collectors. They’re up to something, but I don’t know what.
They have agents everywhere, so please watch your back.
Hurrying to a trot, she glanced back again to see a flash of blue dart between two krogan before she turned a corner and pushed her way amongst a group of people ahead. Shouldering her way through them, she spotted an alley ahead. Bursting into a sprint, she ducked into it before noticing it was a dead end. Trying to force down the fear building in her stomach, she whipped around only to crash headlong into a man standing at the mouth of the alley.
Jane felt two hands grab her wrists as they came up, holding her firmly. Looking up, the first thing she registered was the large, ugly scar maring one side of the man’s face, and one milky white eye staring down at her, jaring in comparison to its darker counterpart. The amused smile stretching across his face seemed warped and twisted when paired with the scar puckering his cheek. Paired with the lecherous gleam in his eyes, Jane immediately squared her shoulders, ready to act.
“Hello there, girlie. You seem scared, do you need a big, strong man to keep you safe?” The man’s voice was rough and gravely, the words laced with barely concealed implications. Without hesitation, Jane twisted her arms to break his hold, shifted her center of gravity and grabbed his white and yellow chest plate. His eyes only had time to widen slightly before he went flying over her shoulder, landing with a ummph! and crashing hard to the ground.
Immediately, she was on him with a knee pressed down between his shoulder blades, keeping one arm crushed beneath his chest and wrenching his other up at an awkward angle behind his back.
“What the fuck! You goddamn bitch!”
“Who are you and why were you chasing me?” Jane hissed, pressing down harder and applying pressure to his hand to increase the pain. The man groaned, attempting to buck her off of him. Grabbing her pistol, she dug it into the back of his head, and he froze in an instant.
“ Chasing you? You’re fucking crazy. I saw you dart in here looking like you saw a ghost and thought I’d offer assistance! Clearly that was a fucking mistake!” Jane furrowed her brows, twisting around to examine the entrance to the alley a few yards away where people hurried past, completely unaware or at least unconcerned by the events unfolding within. Looking back down at the man below her, she frowned.
“So you’re not with the Shadow Broker?” Jane demanded, pressing the gun’s barrel in a little deeper, causing the man to hiss. Or worse, she thought, the Collectors…
“ Fuck, you’re wrapped up in some shit, aren’t you? Just my luck. Look, Girlie, I was just trying to be nice-” Jane scoffed, disbelieving, “-But as you clearly don’t need my help, why don’t you just let me up and we can go our separate ways.” The man suggested, his voice tinged by the slightest hint of desperation. She considered his words for a moment before making her decision.
“If I let you go, I don’t ever want to see your ugly mug again, do I make myself clear?” Jane leaned down to hiss at him, twisting his hand further. Carefully, she shifted her grip onto two of his fingers, twisting just to the point before snapping them. “If our paths do cross again, I’ll make the damage a little more permanent, do you hear me?” He nodded, and she jerked her knee into his back. “I can’t hear you.” She snapped, anger starting to surface in her voice.
“Yes, yes! I understand!” After a moment, she finally let go, pressing herself off of him and pulling herself to her feet. As he started to scramble to his feet, she lurched forward and grabbed the shotgun holstered at his hip. With a snap of her wrist, it went flying further down the alleyway.
“While it’s been a pleasure, I really must be going.” Jane stated dryly as she took a few steps backward toward the main street.
“Fucking Christ, that’s the last time I go after a redhead.” The man groaned to himself as he stretched his shoulder, causing Jane to roll her eyes before turning to leave him behind. With a quick look both ways down the street, she saw nothing suspicious before she turned and made her way back into the crowds.
As she stood before the bright sign reading ‘Afterlife’, Jane realized she’d finally arrived at the club Liara had directed her to. Not only did it seem to be bustling, a line of waiting patrons stretching down away from the front door, but its central and cleanly kept location hinted at its importance. Curious, Jane made her way up to the bouncer at the door. Her instructions from Liara had been fairly clear.
“Hey, I’m supposed to meet someone here called Aria, I was told to talk to you when I arrived?” The bemused expression on the guard’s face made her eye twitch in irritation, but after a moment he pulled up his omni-tool and asked for her name with a condescending smirk.
“Jane Shepard.” She crossed her arms, leaving her holstered firearm at her hip visible as her eyes narrowed.
“Ah, okay. Yeah, Aria’s expecting you.” He said with evident surprise in his voice before his eyes flicked down to eye her weaponry with appreciation, “Come with me.” Waving to another guard to take his place, he turned and ushered her into the club without further ado. Before she knew it, she was following the man through throbbing crowds of drunk, dancing bodies bobbing to thumping electronic music.
As the neon lights flashed and her senses were assaulted with stimuli, she experienced the same split second of panic she always did when entering similar places. Refusing to relent to the feeling, she quickly took it in a strong, suffocating grip. She mercilessly rammed it back down inside herself, taking a deep breath and refocusing on the back of the man leading her onward. The recollected explosions, screams, and blood slowly started to fade to be replaced by the existing music, laughs, and holovids around her.
She grit her teeth in irritation with herself as she picked up her pace, her feet falling leadenly as she gripped her fists tightly. The man leading her stopped to check with a man at the bottom of a set of stairs before turning and motioning for her to follow him up. Soon, she found herself stepping up onto a loft above the main floor of the club, standing before a sectional couch with a single bored looking asari. She clutched a drink loosely in one hand where it dangled over the edge of the couch as she lounged at her ease.
“Aria?” Jane asked as she stepped forward, only to be met by the extended hand of one of the guards. She turned to look at him as he pulled up his omni-tool to conduct a scan. As he nodded, stepping back, Jane wondered idly what he could have been scanning for, as it certainly hadn’t been weapons. She was armed to the teeth, like usual, but that didn’t seem to bother the man.
“So… You must be the human T’soni found for me.” The asari, who Jane could only assume was Aria, drawled before nodding to the other side of the couch, a clear invitation… Or perhaps, an instruction.
Jane moved slowly, coming to sit somewhat gingerly on the edge of the seat, her eyes darting to each of the nearby guards quickly, sizing them up, before landing on Aria. Her eyes were hard like ice and just about as warm, and Jane felt as though she’d been stripped, sized, and measured to the ounce.
“You’re more interesting than I anticipated. At first I was disappointed you weren’t the famous one, but the more I think about it, you might do nicely.” She seemed self satisfied, which caused Jane to arch an eyebrow.
“And who, exactly, are you?” Jane asked dryly, which caused Aria to chuckle as she stood, coming to rest as she looked down upon the club below them.
“I’m Omega’s boss, CEO,-” She looked back at Jane with a smirk, “- Queen , if you’re feeling dramatic.”
“I see. Well, I hear you’re in the market for some help.” Jane started, all too aware how little she truly understood the situation before her, silently cursing Liara for giving her so little information.
“You could say that.” Aria examined her for another moment before her smile faded, “T’soni sent me something of a resume for you, but I don’t really like paperwork. I have a little interview for you.”
“Oh? What does that entail?” With that, Aria nodded to one of the guards, who came over and offered a datapad to Jane. Taking it, she looked down to see details laid out before her.
“It’s not hard to find bull headed muscle men with guns on Omega. I’m looking for an enforcer with a little more finesse who is able to handle some more delicate situations.” Jane took in the information and her heart sank as long distant memories of days long past bubbled up.
“You’re looking for a hitman, an assassin.”
“You could call it that, I suppose. There are people alive who need to be dead, and I’m looking to bring someone on who can help fix that problem. If you can handle that- ” Aria nodded at the data pad in Jane’s hand, “-then you’re hired.” As she sat there, Jane felt like she was sixteen all over again, sitting on a spindly chair in the Red’s hideout. She was holding her hand out to accept an old pistol and nodding hesitantly as she was given instructions on where to find her first mark, a member from a rival gang that had ambushed one of their drug mules the week before.
She blinked, a bitter taste on her tongue as she nodded at Aria, leaning back as she worked to squash the unease before it could become evident. Putting a smirk on her face, Jane flung her arms out over the top of the couch in a languid pose she knew dripped with confidence and comfort she wasn’t currently feeling. She leveled the asari before her with a challenging, heavy lidded stare.
“Come now, Aria, I was expecting a challenge. But if that’s all you need done, consider it done.”
“Crap.” Jane muttered as she flung herself into cover just before her tactical cloak fizzled out, nearly leaving her visible to a number of heavily armed mercs. She waited a few moments as her hammering heart slowly calmed to a slower pace in her chest, furiously thinking over her options. Despite her bravado and swagger, the trial mission had ended up being a lot trickier than she’d initially supposed… Which was probably the point.
Looking around her, Jane’s eyes fell on a vent not far away. Pulling up her hacked copy of the layout maps, she quickly checked the feasibility of her quickly forming plan. After a few moments, she activated her cloak again and made a dash for it. Holding up her omni-tool, she waved a hand over the vent controls, causing it to spark. The vent popped open and she thrust herself into it as quietly as she could manage, closing it behind herself.
Trying to keep her armored body quiet as she climbed through the vent system was an interesting challenge, but somehow she managed to weave her way through without raising an alarm. She came across a few vents into rooms, but most were empty. Finally, she heard the muffled sound of voices from an upcoming vent, and slowed to a stop in an attempt to gather what information she could.
“... an’t see us staying here that much longer, it’s getting too hot.” A man’s voice muttered, clearly disgruntled.
“Yeah, he’s gotten on a few too many people’s shit lists, if you ask me.” An older woman added, followed by a snort.
“You’re telling me. I hear Archangel took out Kaesius’ warehouse the other day. Bet it’s only a matter of time before he strikes here, too.” The first man pointed out before taking a puff on a cigarette. Jane took a moment to wonder who this Archangel was.
“With the bounty on Macavoy’s head, I’m surprised there aren’t half a dozen bounty hunters descending upon us as we speak.” The woman grumbled and Jane smirked as she silently continued down the vents, enjoying the irony.
Finally, she came upon a particular vent and stopped to check her map. Nodding, she listened for a minute before deciding the room was empty. As quietly as she could, she removed the vent cover before dropping down into the small, dark room.
“Umpppphhh!” A man grunted as she landed hard on his shoulders, sending them both crashing to the ground in a heap. Groaning, Jane hurried to detangle their limbs, struggling to see in the gloomy room. “What the hell ..?” The man’s familiar, accented, and gravelly voice made Jane’s eyes shoot open, apprehension jolting down her spine. Scrambling backwards, she pulled herself to her feet as she reached for her sidearm.
“What that fuck are you doing here?!” She squinted into the dark, registering the twisted, scarred face, single milky eye, and yellow armor of the creep she’d run into earlier in the market alleyway. “I warned you to stay the hell away from me.” Jane spat as she leveled her pistol with the man’s head.
The older, scarred human stared at her for a moment before his head fell backwards, his shoulders slumping as he groaned in frustration. Lifting his hands up in supplication, he looked at her with a highly unamused glare.
“You have got to be kidding me, Girlie. What are you doing here, of all places?” They stared at each other silently before he added with no small amount of suspicion, “Wait, are you after the Macavoy bounty as well? You better back the fuck off, Sweetheart, I got here first.” Confusion blossomed on Jane’s face, her gun lowering ever so slightly.
“Huh?” She knew it was a mistake the moment she saw the gleam in his eyes. He was upon her in a flash, knocking her gun to the side just before she managed to get off a shot. They went down in a heap again, fists and booted feet flying as they grappled for control. Jane grunted as his gauntleted fist collided with her left eye, sending her head snapping back to smash against the floor. She struggled to move away, but her head was ringing and her vision was obscured by the blood gushing from her split brow.
He was upon her in a flash, straddling her torso, his fist raised to deliver another blow as her breath caught in her chest. In a heartbeat, instinct and a lifetime of training took over. Reaching for his off hand, she tugged it across his body at the same instant she braced her left foot and rammed her right knee into his lower back, sending him flying forward to her left side. Rolling until she was astride him instead, she raised her fist to deliver a satisfying blow to his jaw. As he cried out in pain, she used his distraction to reach for her pistol, jamming it under his chin. She held her breath as he stiffened, only breathing again when he finally stilled, acknowledging his defeat.
“Enough of this bullshit.” Jane used her free hand to wipe the blood out of her eye, her head still ringing. “Who are you, and what are you doing here? I thought I told you to get lost.” The man scoffed, glaring up at her.
“Get lost?” He growled as she withdrew the gun just enough for him to speak, “Are you daft? I’m not following you, Girlie. I was camped out here waiting for my chance long before you dropped in.” They were both silent for a moment before he continued. “The name is Massani. Zaeed Massani. I’m here after the bounty on Macavoy, I imagine the same reason you’re here. Who the fuck are you?”
“I’m after him, but not for any bounty. I need his omni tool and the data on it. The name is Shepard.”
“Well, Sweethea-” She pressed the gun in a little deeper, causing him to stiffen again, swallowing nervously.
“The name-” She drew a little closer to his face, letting a predatory snarl bloom across her face, “-is Shepard. ”
“Well, Shepard ,” He tried again as soon as her pistol let up slightly, “Maybe we can come to an understanding. You need his omni tool, I need his head. Perhaps we can both leave here with what we want.”
“How am I supposed to trust you? You could be one of his men, you could run and raise the alarm the second my back is turned, or worse.”
“Do you really think I would have been squatting in this dark closet if I was one of his peons?”
She stared down at him for a moment, enjoying letting him sweat. He deserved it, the little shit. Finally, she leaned back, keeping the gun drawn on him as she stood up. She offered him a hand as he got to his feet, letting go to rub the blood out of her eye again.
“Okay, Old Man. Assuming you’re not a backstabbing bastard, you have yourself a deal.”
The omni tool bounced as it landed on the couch beside Aria, and Jane fell as much as sat down across from her. Aria raised a brow, her expression otherwise neutral as she examined the bloodied but determined woman before her. With a small toss of her head, she signaled for one of her men to gather up the device.
"I'm going to need a minute to bypass the security." He muttered as he stooped to pick it up, quickly affixing it to his wrist before bringing up the orange display. Jane grinned as his eyes suddenly opened wide in surprise, his fingers pausing. "...Neeeevermind. Looks like that's already been taken care of."
"Above and beyond the call of duty, wasn't that kind." Aria purred, her face still neutral in reserved judgement. Jane waited patiently, trying desperately not to betray how exhausted she was. She forced herself not to finger the cut across her eyebrow, which had mercifully stopped bleeding some time before, but still throbbed intensely. It would probably scar, she hadn't taken the time to clean it up or apply medigel yet, but at this point she hardly cared. She just wanted to sleep.
"Yeeep. Seems like it's all here, all the files you wanted." The man remarked, pleasure barely restrained in his voice. Aria smiled at that, finally, though it never reached her eyes.
"Wonderful. And I assume you tied up all the loose ends, as instructed." It was a statement, not a question, and Jane nodded.
"It's all taken care of." Zaeed might have taken the final shot, but what did it matter? They both got what they wanted.
"Perfect. Well, Shepard, welcome aboard. Go get some rest and we'll be in touch." Aria looked away toward one of the large holoscreens in a clear gesture of dismissal.
"Thanks. Looking forward to it." Jane stifled the groan as she stood up, rolling her sore shoulder. Sleep sounded entirely too good. Casually, she strode past the many guards as she made her way back down to the main floor of the club, easily melding in with the undulating crowd.
She was just contemplating grabbing a quick drink on her way out when she saw it; a quick flash of blue armor, the tall frame of a turian, pale facial plates, familiar blue colony markings-
" Garrus !" Jane called out, nearly tripping as her heart leapt into her throat. Had it really been him, after all this time? Whoever it was, they'd disappeared into the crowd, prompting her to give chase as she clumsily shoved her way in the direction she'd last seen them.
Her heart was hammering in her ears as she finally came to a halt in the middle of the dance floor, frantically swiveling her head in every direction, desperate to catch another glimpse of whoever it had been.
But they were gone. He was gone. She was a fool to have thought otherwise, and she deserved this for what she'd done. Jane felt a familiar anger and despair replace the ephemeral flash of hope that had caught her up. Hope and something else. Setting her jaw, she ignored the prickle at the corner of her eyes as she strode purposefully toward the exit, shouldering patrons out of her way as she went.
Chapter 29: Part 2: Chapter 5
Summary:
In which Garrus gets his visor back.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 5
Omega, Present Day
A number of armored and booted feet clambered down the jetway from the Normandy’s airlock, and Garrus soon found himself back at one of the last places he wanted to be. Omega’s stench was as stale and effusive as ever, and he was unprepared for the well of emotions that overwhelmed him. He slowed, stopping as he drew his eyes down to his own feet, forcing himself to focus on the details of his boots to distract him from the thudding pain growing behind his temples and deep in his chest.
“Garrus, you okay?” He looked up to see a few pairs of eyes turned to look at him and forced a smile at Jane where she stood a few paces ahead of him.
“Yeah, just feels weird to be coming back after everything that happened.”
“Is it safe for you here? Will they recognize you?” Garrus considered her question before shaking his head.
“I don’t think so, it should be fine. I’m fairly certain ‘Archangel’ was only ever seen in his helmet, so I’ll probably be fine.” Looks bounced between the other crew members before Shepard nodded in understanding. The others took that as permission to return to their previous conversations, which were promptly cut off again as they neared the docking area’s exit.
“Okay, this is our last chance to pick up any supplies we need before we head out, so finish up any business you might have. Omega isn’t safe on a good day, but we’ve caused a little trouble lately, so I think it’s best not to be caught alone or unaware. We’re-” Shepard gestured to himself and Garrus, “-going to head to Afterlife afterwards for a drink, so feel free to meet up with us.” Heads nodded and the group dispersed, heading mostly toward the market district.
“So what all do you need to pick up, Shepard?” Garrus asked, his hands finding his pockets to keep them occupied as he fought the unpleasant feelings creeping up his spine at the view of Omega before him.
“Just a few last minute things, maybe a few mods, too. Oh, and-” Shepard’s voice dropped to a whisper, taking a half step closer, “Maybe a belated birthday present for Jane, as I missed a couple when I was…” Shepard trailed off, and Garrus knew better than to delve further. “Anyway, I’m thinking maybe a model ship, she used to love putting those together if I remember correctly. Any idea if I can get something like that here?”
Garrus was about to answer when Shepard’s head shot up and he called out. “Jane, Zaeed, why don’t you two stick together if you’re both heading in that direction? I don’t think it’s a great idea for anyone to be caught alone, particularly those of you involved in the Archangel incident.” Garrus followed Shepard’s line of sight to see Jane and Zaeed turn to look back at them. Both were heading toward the market district, but with enough distance between the two that it was clear that there hadn’t been an intention of ‘sticking together’.
Jane stared at Shepard for a long moment before turning to look at Zaeed, who glanced at her with a seeming lack of concern. She quirked one eyebrow up to match her crooked smile as she put a fist on one hip in a playful manner.
“As much as I might love the company of a big, strong man to keep me safe, I’ll have to pass this time, Old Man.” Jane drawled sarcastically with a flippant shrug of her shoulders, “You’ll have no problem finding willing arm candy if you need it, I’m sure.” With that, she turned and headed down a side street, her stride dripping with confidence nearly to the point of swagger. Zaeed rolled his eyes before turning toward them, a wry smile on his scarred face.
“Little minx…” He murmured as he crossed his arms, his gruff voice a mixture of amusement and annoyance. Shepard sighed in irritation as he stepped forward, his eyes following Jane until she darted out of sight around a corner.
“She’s going to be the death of me.” Shepard grumbled, and Garrus declined to comment. He couldn’t keep his eyes from the older man before them. He knew very little about the other man except for snippets he’d gleaned while fighting alongside him, and even that was a blurry mess in his memory at this point. Garrus took a step forward and offered a hand to him.
“I don’t think we’ve been officially introduced. Garrus Vakarian. Shepard and I go back a while, to the original Normandy. Thanks for your help the other day.” Zaeed looked him up and down for a moment before grasping his hand in a firm shake.
“Zaeed Masani. Pleasure. I’m just bumming around with these fools until I get my payday, but it seems like they attract an interesting amount of mayhem, so it promises to be a good time. Good to have you aboard, Vakarian.” They took a step apart and Shepard clapped them both on the back before passing between them to lead the way into the markets.
Garrus was interested to get to know the crew of Shepard’s new Normandy, curious to see if they were going to knit together as tightly as they had during the Saren mission. He was struggling to get a good read on some of them, and Zaeed in particular seemed like a bit of a head scratcher. If Garrus had to guess, based what the man had said, he’d say mercenary. He didn’t seem to belong to any of the major groups, but had clearly seen his fair share of action. He probably had an interesting story or two to share.
And of course, he hadn’t missed Zaeed’s apparent familiarity with Jane. Garrus wasn’t sure if he was reading it correctly, but it had seemed almost flirtatious. Those two couldn’t be involved , could they? He suspected not, he was well acquainted with Jane’s playful sarcasm, but it didn’t prevent a small sliver of unease from wedging itself under his plates.
Regardless, as they picked their way from stall to stall, shop to shop, he couldn’t help but feel a grudging respect for the grizzled old man. He was acerbic and gruff, but Garrus had been right to guess he had a few amusing tales to tell. It seemed like every little thing reminded Zaeed of something he’d done, or someone he’d killed, usually in some outrageous manner. He wasn’t sure how much he believed, but it made for amusing stories either way, even if he was a sorry replacement for Wrex.
It didn’t take too long to collect what they needed, but by the time the last package was sent off to the Normandy airlock, Garrus felt fatigue starting to catch up with him. He was surprised at first until he reasoned that his body had been put through a bit of a ringer, and the good doctors were probably right about him needing rest.
“Okay, so how about that drink I promised you?” Shepard chimed in, turning to face him and Zaeed with a tired smile. Garrus couldn’t help but smile back.
“I’m not sure I remember being promised anything, but I won’t say no. Though I’m probably not allowed anything too strong with whatever pain meds I’m on.” Garrus replied, and though Zaeed snorted, he just shrugged.
“Fair enough. Regardless, let’s head over to Afterlife.” Shepard replied before leading on.
As they stepped into the lively club, Garrus wondered idly if he was going to miss Omega after they left. Glancing around at the bored strippers and tired barkeepers, dim lighting and holo screens. No, probably not. Nothing was left but the bitter taste of failure and regret. He wondered if he’d made any difference, or it had all been for nothing. Omega seemed no different than when he’d arrived. Back then he’d sat at a table just like the one they were settling at now, and he’d built castles in the sky with the dreams he had of cleaning the scum and villains off the streets.
And yet here they were, still populating at the tables around him. But back then, it hadn’t been Shepard sitting across from him, it’d been a different man.
Sidonis.
Garrus could feel his brow plates draw down as he remembered their conversation when they’d first decided to do something about the crime on Omega. Spirits, he wished he knew what had happened to the other turian. Even though he knew he should give him the benefit of the doubt, deep down, he felt like he knew . When he got situated back on the Normandy, he was going to spend some quality time digging to figure out exactly what happened to Sidonis.
“Not that you two gentlemen aren’t phenomenal company-” Zaeed muttered sarcastically as he stood from the table with his drink, “But I see a little lady at the bar who could use a little TLC. If you don’t mind…” He smirked as he turned to head toward a tall, light haired woman standing alone at the bar nearby. Both Garrus and Shepard watched for a moment as Zaeed sidled up to her, motioning to the barman nearby.
Garrus watched as Shepard took another sip of his drink, waited a heart beat, and decided to cut right to the chase.
“So why did you really want me to come back to Omega with you?” Shepard froze, eyeing Garrus before he slowly lowered his drink to the table. They held each other's eyes for a moment before Shepard finally broke eye contact and took another sip of his drink.
“How are you holding up after everything that happened?” Shepard asked, and the sudden question surprised Garrus, causing his brow plates to jump up his face as his eyes widened. He considered the question and its possible answers.
“I’m… hanging in there. It hasn’t been the best week of my life, that’s for sure.” Garrus grunted as he looked away, back to where Zaeed was trying his best to impress the taller woman with mixed results.
“Jane filled me in a little about what happened, but I’d like to hear it from you, if you’re ready to talk about it.” Shepard’s voice was carefully even, gentle and not too prying. It gave Garrus a sense of nostalgia for their conversations back on the original Normandy.
“I’m fine. My face hurts a bit, but I’m sure it’s nothing another dose of whatever Chakwas gave me can’t fix.” He met Shepard’s deadpan stare with one of his own, feeling the walls going up almost immediately. He’d promised Jane an explanation, too, but he just… couldn’t. Not yet. He rammed the feelings back down into that box again. Not yet.
“That’s not what I-”
“I know. But I’m fine, Shepard. Seriously.” Garrus tried to imbue his voice with a firmness that felt beyond him.
“Uh-huh.”
“Look, I fucked up. I got a bunch of good men and women killed. End of story.” Shepard opened his mouth to reply, but Garrus jumped in before he could. “Just give me a few days, and I’ll give you the whole story. I’m not really ready to talk about it yet.” He could feel a tightness in the back of his throat and hoped to the spirits that Shepard would leave it be for now.
“That’s fine, I understand. When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be there to listen. But I think that it might benefit you to talk to Jane about it, she might be the best person for you to open up to.” Shepard’s words seemed innocent enough, but Garrus felt his face flush and panic started to bite at him as his eyes shot back to the Commander’s. Was it possible that Shepard had been one of the admittedly large group of people who had been aware of his feelings for Jane aboard the original Normandy? Was that why he was suggesting he confide in her? The thought was fairly mortifying.
“Shepard, I-”
“I’ll start by admitting I don’t know all the details.” Shepard cut him off as he looked down at the glass in his hands, his expression growing somber. Garrus suddenly got the feeling that this had nothing to do with silly crushes. “Honestly, most of it was classified, and I didn’t delve very far into it at her request. But, years ago Jane was part of a mission that didn’t go as planned. Even though it was deemed a success, the Alliance hushed it all up as best they could, choosing instead to focus on the prior victory on Elysium. Better for morale, or perhaps their reputation, you see. But from what I can tell, it was a bit of a blood bath.” They sat there, staring at their glasses in silence as Garrus digested the information.
“I- I see.”
“She was a wreck when she got back, and she never really got over it completely. That’s why I brought it up, though. I think that if anyone can understand what you’ve been through, it might be her. It might be that the situations were completely different, but I think she’ll still be able to understand your loss.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” The more he learned about her, the more Garrus realized he didn’t know Jane. Not really.
“She’s never been quite the same after that mission. She’d always had a bit of a temper, even when we were kids. She’s always been a bit rough around the edges. I guess it got a bit worse when we were teens, but after that mission it was something else altogether. I think you’ve seen a little of that side of her, she tends to get a bit, er… physical. Sorry about that, by the way.” Shepard winced, and Garrus realized he must have heard about their blow out fight at the memorial service.
“No, it’s okay. It took a little time, but I understood, for the most part. Everyone deals with grief in different ways.” Garrus couldn’t help but wonder how he would deal with grief. When he started opening that box, he was going to have to figure it out, he supposed. “So, is that why you’re hesitant about trusting Jane? Her temper?” Shepard cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
“What? No. No, nothing like that.” With a quick glance about, Shepard returned his eyes to Garrus. His expression went from thoughtful and reminiscent to serious in a heartbeat. “What worries me is why Jane joined Cerberus.”
“Hmm, well, Chakwas said she joined in order to help you and Joker.” Garrus murmured, bringing a hand up to chin in contemplation.
“And Joker joined because the Alliance grounded him and all he cares about is being able to fly. While thats a little questionable, Cerberus is a terrorist organization after all, I suppose I get it. But Jane has yet to give me anything resembling a reasonable answer to that question.” Shepard stated as he gripped his drink so tightly it nearly sloshed over his fist. Garrus frowned at the table as he considered.
“Is it so hard to believe that she would join in order to help you, just like Chakwas? I can’t imagine she’d hesitate to leave the Alliance if it meant getting to join your crew again to fight the Reapers.”
“That’s the thing though. She joined Cerberus about a year ago and from what I can tell, she wasn’t given any information about the Lazarus Project until just before I woke up. She knew first hand what Cerberus truly was, she saw those experiments and knows what they did to Kahoku.” Garrus felt his eyes go wide at that.
“I thought she joined because they rebuilt you.”
“No. And I can’t figure it out. Everytime I bring it up, she shuts up like a clam.”
“What’s a clam?”
“It’s a small earth anim- Gah, nevermind, that’s besides the point.” Shepard waved off the question and brought a hand up to massage his temple. “She won’t talk at all about what she’s been up to the past two years. I don’t want to believe her capable of the sorts of things Cerberus does, and until I get to the bottom of this, I just can’t trust her. Just like how I can’t trust Miranda or Jacob, or most of the rest of the crew, honestly.” As Shepard opened up about his concerns and anxiety, Garrus couldn’t help but appreciate the trust and confidence the other man was placing with him. Years ago, Garrus had always felt like something of a student of Shepard’s, or perhaps a younger brother, someone to be guided and taught. Now, though, the dynamic between them seemed so different as Shepard confided in him, almost as though they were equals.
“I can understand that. I’m sorry, Shepard. It must have been rough waking up to all of this.” After a moment, Garrus shut his eyes, frustration and concern making his brow plates hurt. He really didn’t know Jane, did he? Not anymore, at least. Surely she wasn’t capable of sympathizing with a terrorist group bent on human superiority?
“You have no idea. It’s like… I saw you all a few weeks ago, and yet now you’re all somehow different people. It was the same when we saw Tali, she’s changed so much, grown up so much.” Something in Shepard’s eyes softened before he sighed and looked up at Garrus. “How about this: When you’re ready to talk about what you’ve been through, I’ll tell you what it was like dying and waking up to gunfire on a secret science station.”
“Now that sounds like a story.”
“You have no idea. Anyway-” Shepard downed the last of his drink, wiped his mouth with the back of his gauntleted hand, and stood up. “Let’s gather up Zaeed and figure out where the rest of them are. I’ll shoot Jane a message, tell her to get her ass back here.” He pulled up his omni-tool and typed a quick message before turning and heading for the bar, Garrus in toe. “Come on, Zaeed, say goodbye to your friend and let’s get going.”
Once Zaeed had extricated himself from his friend , they made for the door before Shepard’s omni-tool pinged. He froze, reading the message before sighing, his expression pained.
“Seriously, Jane?” He sighed again, and Garrus was about to ask when Shepard turned on his heel and headed to the back of the room toward a staircase. With a jolt, Garrus realized they were heading straight for Aria’s loft. They paused for a moment as Shepard spoke with the man standing guard at the bottom of the stairs before he stepped aside to let them pass.
Garrus had never met Aria, but like any other denizen of Omega, he knew not to fuck with her. He was about to ask why they were heading up to see Aria, something that made him admittedly apprehensive, when he remembered something Jane had said just a little while earlier. He hadn’t given it much thought at first other than to be appreciative, but at second thought it had been somewhat extraordinary. Something about Aria lending her some men to handle what he’d left behind at the apartment…
His suspicions were confirmed as they reached the top of the steps and came to stop. Aria lounged at her ease in the middle of the large couch, her expression deceptively languid and nonchalant. And sitting across from her, one arm thrown over the top edge of the couch lazily, the other loosely clutching a drink, sat Jane with her trademark crooked smile.
“Staying out of trouble, I see.” Shepard stated dryly as he crossed his arms, causing Jane to chuckle.
“You could say that.” Despite the air of ease and disinterestedness, Garrus could see the sharp edge in Jane’s eyes as her smile faded, along with the hard set to Aria’s jaw, and wondered exactly what they had been talking about before they’d arrived just now. “Well, thanks for the drink and the company, Aria.” Jane stretched as she stood up, handing her nearly empty glass off to one of Aria’s men without a glance.
“Of course. It was nice… catching up. Always a pleasure, Shepard. Ah-” Aria’s eyes flicked to John Shepard for a moment, her smile growing as an amused eyebrow rose. “My, now that might get confusing. Shepards.” Her eyes flicked away, her attention shifting to something else in a clear dismissal.
“Aria.” They both said as they turned and made their way down the stairs again, leaving Garrus and Zaeed to follow. The grizzled mercenary shot Aria a quick speculative glance before heading down after the other two humans.
“That woman has more balls than any man I’ve ever met.” Zaeed muttered, his voice caught somewhere between distrubed and awe. Garrus chuckled, having nothing to add to or detract from the statement. They caught up with Shepard and Jane near the door to the club where they had slowed, their heads together.
“-wouldn’t mess around with her too much. Aria’s-”
“Aria and I have an understanding, we’ve been… acquaintances for a while now.” Jane cut her brother off with a wave of her hand, her expression unconcerned.
“How, exactly, did that happen?” Shepard’s voice carried a worried edge, which Jane determinedly ignored.
“I spent a little time on Omega last year, not long after I left the Citadel. We met, we got along. Not much to tell.” Garrus felt his ears prick up at that.
“You were on Omega last year? Why?” Jane turned to face him at his sudden question, her eyes measuring and careful. Garrus thought back to all the times he’d thought he’d seen her in the crowd, suddenly wondering if he hadn’t actually been going crazy.
“I had… business to take care of. Now that I think of it, I might have heard a whisper or two about Archangel back then. You must have just been starting to make a name for yourself.” Jane grinned at him, the sudden change of topic leaving him stuttering.
“I, er… I suppose.” He felt his hand come up to rub the back of his neck awkwardly.
“Enough, you two. Let’s get back to the ship, seems like we’re the last few still out, everyone else is back aboard.” Shepard announced, looking down at his omni-tool. “Plus, I think I owe you a tour of the ship, Garrus. If you’re feeling up for it?”
“Oh definitely.” Garrus replied, though it was a few heartbeats longer until Jane’s piercing green eyes left his own.
“Last but not least, this is the Main Battery.” Shepard said as they stepped through the doors into a dimly lit room. Garrus felt his eyes widen as he took in the ship’s cannons, display screens, and control console.
“Well, now, this is interesting.” Garrus murmured as he stepped into the room, his hand coming up to flick through the holo controls over the console.
“I thought you might be interested.” Shepard chuckled as he crossed his arms, remaining by the door. “If I remember correctly, you have some experience with calibrating, modifying, and maintaining weaponry from your service time. Am I wrong?”
“No, you’re not wrong, it was one of my specialities, actually.” Garrus couldn’t keep the excitement out of his voice as his eyes ran along the long, sleek lines of the cannons before him.
“As I suspected. Well, if you don’t mind, I’d like to leave these babies in your capable hands, then.”
“Absolutely. You can count on me. Seems like we have a bit more to work with this time around.” His eyes flicked over the monitors, taking in the details and eager to get to work, despite the growing pain in his jaw and face that told him he had been pushing himself a little too hard.
“You can say that again. Alright, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll have your stuff and new packages sent over to your new bunk in the crew quarters, and if I were you, I would stop by to see Chakwas again soon or else she’ll have both our asses.”
“Gottcha, thanks Shepard.”
“No problem. I should go.” Garrus waved vaguely in the Commander’s direction as the door whooshed open and the other man’s footsteps faded. He quickly lost himself in his work as he acquainted himself with the hardware and software, his fingers flitting through the holo controls with ever increasing ease. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he looked up at the sudden melodic tone of the door preparing to open. Turning around, he saw none other than Jane standing in the doorway.
He felt his heart thud slightly at the sight of her standing there at her ease, her hands in her pockets. She was so… effortlessly beautiful. He shook his head a little, trying to push the thoughts away. That wasn’t something he wanted to be dwelling on at the moment. There was a lot he didn’t feel like dwelling on at the moment.
“Jane… Need me for something?” He glanced down at the time on his omni-tool, and realized he’d been working nonstop for three hours already.
“You got a moment?” She stepped forward, her eyes darting around the room quickly before returning to him. As he took a closer look at her, it seemed almost as though her pose was purposely relaxed and collected, as though she were forcing herself to be so. Was she anxious under that calm facade?
“Yeeeah.” He blinked, and for a split second, it wasn’t the intentionally calm Jane that stood before him, but the bedraggled, rage filled specter that had haunted him since the memorial. He blinked again, and the vision vanished. Hesitating, he continued. “Yeah, of course.” She seemed to pick up on his unease, and sighed. She stepped further into the room, coming to a stop just before him.
“Look, I-” She coughed, clearly uneasy, her eyes on the floor, “I wanted to apologize. For how I behaved, for how I treated you before, at John’s memorial. I was a complete ass.” Garrus felt his browplates shoot up, surprised at the sudden admonition. “I know this might not be the best time, but I really didn’t want to let this sit between us any longer. I regretted it almost as soon as it happened, it should never have happened. I’m so… so sorry.” She looked up, and he was nearly speechless at the well of emotion in her eyes. He was so used to her almost overwhelming confidence that it was jarring to see the sudden vulnerability etched across her face.
“It’s- it’s okay, Jane. I understand. I was upset at the time, but I understood. Your brother had just died, you weren’t in the best place.”
“That’s no excuse.” She spat, her irritation at herself evident in her pained expression as she ran a hand through her hair. “I never should have treated you like that. You were my best friend, you deserved better. You just wanted to help me. And I lashed out at you.” She stepped away, walking toward one of the other consoles at the side of the small room, running her hand across the sleek surface. She looked up, her eyes darting between his as she seemed to peer into his soul.
It should have been me.
He caught himself before he could visibly wince, hating how her words that day seemed to resonate through his mind almost nonstop since he’d woken up in the medbay earlier. As the thought ran through his mind again, his knees seemed to shake as he suddenly realized just how exhausted he truly was.
“It’s okay, Jane, I forgive you. Seriously.” He murmured and she continued to stare at him, her eyes narrowing.
“You sure?” Sighing, Garrus stepped forward, bringing a hand up to gingerly place on her shoulder.
“I’m sure. Let’s just put it behind us, okay?” Jane continued to watch him closely for a moment before a small, melancholic smile graced her lips.
“Yeah. Sounds good. Thanks.” She let loose a deep breath before turning to head for the door. “Anyway, I’ll let you get back to work. If I’m not on duty, you can sometimes find me in the port observation deck if I’m not in the mess hall. Stop by and say hello sometime, okay? Don’t be a stranger.” Her smile brightened momentarily as she gave him a lazy salute before returning her hands to her pockets as she walked through the door.
“I’ll do that.” Garrus said and she paused, turning around.
“We’re good, right?” She asked, concern back on her face. Garrus forced a small smile across his aching and exhausted face.
“Yeah. Now get out of here and let me focus, I have calibrations to finish up.” She chuckled before waving and leaving. The door closed, and he was left alone again, unsure if that made him feel better or worse. Somewhere behind him, ten pairs of dead eyes were watching him and he shivered.
His eyes drifted to the console Jane had run her hand across, and they froze on an unexpected but familiar object that hadn’t been there before. Laying on top of the console was his visor, looking almost as good as new. Slowly, he moved closer, taking it carefully in hand, letting his fingers roam the familiar lines and curves of it. He carefully brought it up to his usual spot over his left eye. Pressing the small power button, he waited with baited breath as it powered on.
The display sprang to life and he breathed a sigh of relief. Jane. She must have fixed it for him after it was damaged in the explosion. He felt a flutter in his chest.
…Which promptly ceased up as he noticed the note which popped up as soon as the OS finished loading.
G-
Congratulations, the encryption actually made me sweat for a moment!
Shit. She’d bypassed his encryption during her repairs. He kept a number of private and sensitive files on his visor, which by and large he trusted her with, but they included a number of pictures he had of her , and if she had found those… Well that would be beyond embarrassing. Not that they were in any way indecent , he wasn’t that kind of turian. But regardless, they would cause questions he wasn’t currently looking to answer.
He tried to stop panicking and read the rest of the note.
Don’t worry, I didn’t poke around in your files, as tempting as it was. I did my best to get your visor up and functioning again, it was a little battered after everything that happened. Hopefully, this can help make things right between us again. Maybe things can go back to the way they used to be. I’ve really missed you the past two years.
-J
Garrus realized he was smiling, a true and genuine smile, and he couldn’t help but save the note in his visor, tucking it away in the file where he kept the photos he had stored of her. His chest felt lighter, his pulse leaping in a warm and tender way that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
Quickly, he flicked through his other important saved photos, each tugging at his heart for different reasons. One of him, his mother, his sister, and his father, all standing in front of their house on Palaven when he was younger. He should let his father know he was okay…The next photo was him and his old C-Sec friends having a drink together at the bar. Then one of the original Normandy crew.
His heart sank as he lingered on the next photo. His team on Omega. Shutting off the visor, he closed his eyes, letting his head fall into his hands as he collapsed onto a nearby crate. He wondered how long it would take for this ache to fade. It was so sharp it made it hard to breathe.
Looking down at his feet, he saw a tool box, and an idea occurred to him. Flicking it open, he found a tool sharp and fine enough, and turned his visor over to run his thumb over the smooth metal casing. Bringing the tool down, he started to carve.
Erash, Monteague, Mierin, Grundan Krul, Melenis, Ripper, Sensat, Vortash, Butler, Weaver.
Sidonis .
3 Months Ago
Being recruited by Cerberus, it turned out, was easy. Finding the information she needed, however? That was another matter entirely.
Two or three months after arriving on Omega, she was approached by an operative after leaving Afterlife one evening and given the exact opportunity she had hoped for: An offer to join the elusive pro-humanity organization that she’d been gunning for. In a flash, she’d packed up and said her goodbyes to Aria, who’d known their arrangement would be temporary, and agreed to keep in touch.
Before she knew it, she was settling into Cerberus’ introductory training program. She must have passed whatever screening system they had, as she was treated no different than any of the other ex-alliance recruits.
When she was assigned to one of the cells, she quickly discovered it was not related to whatever the project was that the council was so concerned about. It was some small information gathering cell that seemed completely unconnected to any other project, as far as she could tell.
And there she sat, month after month, gnashing her teeth with no ability to gather any information on any other cells or projects. Cerberus seemed to be run in a completely compartmentalized fashion that left each cell completely detached and unaware of just about everything else going on within the organization. You knew what was important for your project, and not a lick more.
Even after she was finally transferred to another project cell connected to a major research base, she was given no further information that could be of any use to her true mission. She occasionally managed to send off and receive encrypted messages from the council, and she could tell they were beginning to become as impatient as she herself was feeling.
But Jane’s hands were not completely tied, and she had thus begun planning her current move. No small amount of preparation, reconnaissance, and planning had gone into it, and it was a somewhat last ditch attempt to learn something, anything about the mystery project. It was a tad bit risky, though.
Slipping out of the security office, she fizzled back into the visible spectrum and quietly slipped down the hall toward what she knew to be a momentarily unused lab. She had disabled the cameras in that area of the station for a short time, setting the system to loop old footage instead.
Having managed to get a hold of the shift schedule, Jane knew no one was due to use the lab for about twenty minutes, giving her the perfect opportunity to access a particular highly ranked doctor’s console. Slipping a stolen and decrypted omni-tool onto her wrist, she held it up to the scanner in the door, which blipped green with a chime, allowing her access.
“Thank you, Dr. Johnston…” Jane muttered as she darted toward the console in the corner, quickly letting it scan the stolen omni-tool as well before sitting in the chair, allowing her fingers to begin their work over the holo display. Pulling up her own omni-tool, she input the commands to begin her hacking program she’d developed specifically for this purpose, and watched with a pleased smile as it got to work.
Time ticked on as Jane navigated her way through the files, exhilaration shooting through her as each gate fell before her assault. But as her timer slowly ticked down, she began to feel anxiety prickle up her spine from her belly. She had yet to find any useful information, and she was quickly running out of time. She had to leave the lab, return the stolen omni-tool, and return to reset the security system all within a few minutes and without being spotted. Weeks of preparation had led up to this moment, and she was not about to walk out of there empty handed…
“Ah ha! ” Swiping her omni-tool over the console, she copied over a series of encrypted files that she was about 80% sure were related to the project she was interested in. In a mad dash, she erased all evidence she’d been there, closing down the console before dashing out of the room and down the hall.
By the time Jane made it to the privacy of her own bunk later that night, apparently having been undetected during her little escapades, she was biting at the bit to get a look at what she had found. But as she attempted to open the files, she found that their encryption was nothing to scoff at. Even with her considerable skills, they were nearly completely beyond her with her current tools.
Beyond that, they seemed to be partially incomplete, having been reconstructed from deleted files she’d found. When she finally managed to cobble together something understandable from one of the files, she really didn’t get much more than a few names and a little info.
Lazarus Project…?
That must have been the name of the project she was after, particularly because it seemed to have a research base all its own. There was some evidence of massive expenditures. And there was some high ranking doctor by the name of Wilson?
When she managed to scrape some data out of the second file, it seemed to be mostly medical data, perhaps something from someone’s physical? Something about neurological activity, blood pressure, and… bio-synthetic fusion? Whatever the hell that was.
Jane realized she had her job cut out for her, but she was ecstatic to finally be moving forward with her mission after nearly a year of dead ends. Even if it was just a few names and garbled data, it was something. With a little more work, perhaps she would have something to go off of. As soon as she had a window of opportunity, she was going to submit a report to the council with what she’d learned.
Hopefully it wouldn’t be long until she could wipe her hands clean of Cerberus. Being amongst them made her feel dirty in a way she couldn’t describe. While some of them were fine and normal enough, a vast majority were hard to stomach. They would not have approved of John’s diverse crew aboard the Normandy, that’s for sure.
The sooner it was all over, the sooner she could begin her investigation into the Reapers pick up where John had left off. Jane felt a sharp pang in her chest at the thought of her brother. Even after all this time, the pain never seemed to lessen.
Chapter 30: Part 2: Chapter 6
Summary:
In which Garrus gets some therapy.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 6
The Normandy SR2, Present Day
Settling into a new normal was harder than he expected it to be. Sometimes Garrus felt like he could close his eyes and pretend he was still aboard the original Normandy, that when he opened his eyes Shepard wouldn’t have evidence of his death etched across his cheek and Jane wouldn’t carry the invisible brand of Cerberus across hers. But when he opened his eyes, he was met with all too real evidence of reality, and somehow he had to find his place in it.
Garrus had never really been one to struggle with focus, but since arriving on the Normandy SR2, it was like he’d suddenly acquired a scatter-brain. It was infuriating. Sometimes he managed to lose himself in the work for hours, and yet at other times, he stared at the screen with no idea what he had been supposed to be doing, his mind flashing back to the apartment on Omega as his pulse started racing.
At times like that, his mind always seemed to land on the same topic: Sidonis. What had happened? Where was he now? Was he dead? Or had he betrayed their team? Garrus put out some feelers in hopes of answering some of those questions, he’d gotten a hold of a few contacts around Omega who might be able to help. He wanted so badly to give the other turian the benefit of the doubt. He’d been his first friend on Omega, Garrus didn’t want to think the worst of him, but it was hard to stop the rage bubbling up in his belly when he lingered on his suspicions about what might have happened. He kept reminding himself that it would take time before he got any answers.
In the meanwhile, once he’d started getting himself acquainted with the systems and the main battery, Garrus turned his sights toward the crew. One of the best parts of being on Shepard’s original crew had been the sense of family he’d knit them into, and Garrus was hopeful that it would begin to feel that way again. But as it was, he didn’t know how possible that would be. The Cerberus crew, while polite, generally kept to their own small cliques. Jacob seemed friendly enough, but didn’t seem to spend much time on the crew deck other than the bare minimum for self care. Miranda only seemed to leave her office for administrative reasons and to retrieve meals, which she ate in her office.
As for Mordin, when he did leave his lab, he always had his nose in a datapad and seemed nearly oblivious to the goings on around him. Except for when he became far too interested in you, at which point Garrus found it beneficial to turn tail and run, lest he become an unwitting part of a science experiment. Honestly, he was mildly terrified of the salarian doctor. Even when he had to go to the lab to have his new facial cybernetics inspected and tested, it seemed like he got swept up into tests that he was almost positive had nothing to do with his injuries…
Like usual, Joker pretty much stayed up in the cockpit most of the time. Garrus went up to visit him occasionally, which sometimes seemed to help. Humor, particularly of the sarcastic brand, was a comfort that helped take his mind off the box full of feelings he kept avoiding in the back of his mind.
There were a few pleasant surprises amongst the crew, the first of which he literally bumped into while coming out of the bathroom a few days after he woke up aboard the ship.
“Ah, I’m so sorr-” The smaller, human man trailed off as his eyes drifted upwards in surprise. When their eyes met, both sets widened in recognition. “Garrus! They told me you had joined the crew!”
“Jenkins? What are you doing here?” Garrus couldn’t help but smile as Richard Jenkins failed to keep the puppy-like exuberance from his face and voice.
“I was assigned to Shepard’s crew along with a bunch of others from the original crew, like Joker and Chakwas! It’s so amazing what they were able to do for Shepard, part of me still isn’t quite sure this is real!” Jenkin’s eyes almost seemed to sparkle as awe suffused his voice.
“I meant what are you doing with Cerberus? Why did you leave the Alliance?” It seemed to be a question he was having to wonder a lot lately. The joy seemed to melt off Jenkin’s face a little, leaving him looking older than Garrus remembered.
“After everything happened, it was really tough, you know? You remember. And the brass were pretending like nothing happened, like the Reapers weren’t real, and I kept trying to defend the Commander, you know? But they kept telling me I was wrong, and it was really frustrating. Eventually, Cerberus contacted me and made an offer and… Well, I’m not proud of it, but I couldn’t really turn them down. They pay a lot more than the Alliance, and my pa has been really sick. Especially after everything that happened back on Eden Prime, it’s been a struggle to pay for all the treatments he needs. But Cerberus has taken care of all of it, so I don’t need to worry about him now. It’s really amazing, the benefits are fantastic! And when they explained what’s been happening to all those colonies, well, I don’t want anything like that happening to Eden Prime. They’ve been through enough lately, so I want to do my part to stop the Collectors.” Garrus stared in wonder as the younger man seemed completely unaffected by the lack of air during his long monologue.
“I see. Well, I’m glad that they are getting your pa the care he needs.” Garrus offered slightly awkwardly, unsure how to respond to the news of Cerberus’ foray into benevolence. “And protecting the colonies is a good thing. Glad to see a familiar face, Jenkins.”
“Yeah, absolutely!”
One, or rather, two additions to the crew that Garrus heartily approved of were the engineers, Ken and Gabby. They were much more willing to chat than most of the Cerberus crew, indeed Ken seemed somewhat incapable of not chatting whenever Garrus came down to engineering. They were also both fantastic at their jobs and it wasn’t long until Garrus felt he had a firm understanding of the main battery’s power draw and the Normandy’s limitations in that department.
One of the more unexpected changes since the days of the SR1 was probably Shepard’s more seemingly lax approach to his command. He’d always been fairly informal, referring to much of the crew by their given names instead of their family names as was done by so many humans. But he now seemed to have taken it a step further, and Garrus didn’t know if it was his separation from the formalities of the Alliance or if perhaps Shepard had had some sort of perspective change after his rebirth.
Either way, he now seemed just as content as Jane to stride along the hallways of the Normandy dressed in casual civilian clothes, just a simple jacket, shirt, and some sort of pants he called “jeans”. On top of that, Shepard was much less concerned about paperwork, seeming to delegate much of it to Miranda instead. Garrus had to guess she preferred it that way, she seemed to be the ‘if you want something done right, do it yourself’ kind of person.
With his increased spare time, Shepard seemed to show up “just to chat” much more often than he used to, which Garrus wasn’t sure how he felt about. On one hand, Garrus was over the moon to finally be on a more equal standing with the other man and it felt highly gratifying to have Shepard come to him looking for thoughts and advice about various issues. And yet, Garrus found that he wished to just be left alone sometimes, as though the silence was therapeutic. But even on the occasions when the silence was not preferred, due in no small part to the lingering memories he wanted to forget, he was still not feeling himself after everything that happened. It seemed to result in a bit of a social barricade on occasion.
It was impossible to feel as though he could open up, even though he desperately wanted to go back to a time when he felt completely at ease with the other man. Garrus tried to lean on his sense of humor, faithful as it always was, but his jokes seemed to fall on the side of macabre more often than not. But if Shepard noticed, he didn’t comment. After everything the other man had been through, himself, perhaps the darker humor resonated.
A good deal of the crew he really didn’t see much of. Garrus didn’t think they avoided him, they just seemed to keep to parts of the ship that he didn’t frequent. He learned some about them by speaking to Shepard, however, who went out of his way to get to know as many of them as he could.
“Zaheed?” Shepard sighed as he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning against the railing near where Garrus was typing into the main battery’s console. “He’s almost more trouble than he’s worth, honestly. I’ve walked in on him and Jane drinking and gambling over cards more than once.” Garrus felt his fingers slow before coming to a stop as he processed the words.
“Is that so?” He tried to keep his voice sounding disinterested, and probably failed miserably. “Are they… you know-” Garrus flailed about for the right word, not really wanting to put it into words, “-together?” Shepard glanced at him, his eyebrows jumping up his forehead. After a moment. he seemed to deadpan at Garrus, making him wonder if he’d missed something obvious.
“ Together ?” Shepard finally asked, bringing a hand up to rub his eyes, “Good god, no, I don’t think so. I know how Jane is with her, err, well, with people she’s into.” Shepard paused for a moment, looking back at Garrus before continuing, “No, whatever that -” He gestured vaguely off in the general direction of Engineering, “-is, I think it’s just two troublemakers making trouble. Birds of a feather, you know how it is. Jesus, I think he’s old enough to be her, our , dad.” Garrus looked back down at his console, considering for a moment before he started typing again.
“I suppose. I didn’t realize Jane was such a troublemaker, honestly. She’s always been a bit… opinionated? But she seemed pretty professional, for the most part, aboard the SR1.” Shepard chuckled at that, though there wasn’t much humor in it.
“Yeah, I think some of that was the Alliance in her. But take that out of the equation, and she seems to be regressing a bit. She was always a bit of a troublemaker growing up.”
“Back when you were both in that Earth gang?” Garrus asked before thinking, and he glanced up to see Shepard looking surprised.
“Huh, didn’t know you knew about that, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You and she were thick as thieves before, weren’t you.” Garrus couldn’t help but feel the sting at the word ‘before’ , wondering if things would go back to being that way again. “But yeah, back then, Jane was a bit of a wild child, you could say. Always getting into trouble of one sort or another. I had to pull her bacon out of the fire more than once.” This time when Shepard laughed, it resonated with the soft cords of nostalgia.
Garrus was silent as he contemplated the information. None of it surprised him, given what he knew of her. Since reuniting, he had to admit that there was something about her that drew him even more than he’d been drawn during their days together years past. She’d always been confident, but it seemed to ooze off her now in a way that was undeniably seductive. There was something woefully stereotypical about a cop falling for a ‘bad girl’. Though he supposed he was less of a cop and more of a vigilante these days, so perhaps that made it slightly better.
He didn’t really know where he and Jane stood at the moment, honestly. Nothing about his feelings for the woman had ever been simple, he supposed, but the wild cacophony of emotions that seemed to well up when he thought of her was starting to feel overwhelming.
His hand froze a breath away from the door’s holo controls and hovered as he hesitated. Garrus had stopped and considered entering the port observation deck a few times during his brief time on the Normandy so far, but everytime he either found some excuse as to why he couldn’t, or he failed to work up the nerve to follow through.
Garrus wasn’t entirely sure
why
he’d been feeling so off kilter regarding Jane. He seemed to be constantly oscillating between an intense desire to grab her and shake some answers out of her, and an intense desire to grab her and press his mouth plates to her lips in what humans called a ‘kiss’. Either way, she elicited a strong emotional response from him and that scared him at the moment.
Garrus had been working hard to not let the churning mess that was his emotional state at present overwhelm him, and being in her presence seemed to cause it to spill over in a way he had no desire to handle. So his hand dropped to his side, he sighed, and he turned away from the door as his body made its way back to the main battery, his mind left behind to wonder and ache.
As soon as he made it back to his console, he looked down at his omni-tool and noticed the small ping that meant he had a new message. Recognizing the address as one of his contacts on Omega, his breath caught and his pulse quickened.
Sorry for the delay, but I might have information for you about S. Let me verify it, and I’ll send the data along to you. Consider it payment in full for all your assistance in the past.
-I
Garrus’ heart seemed to be hammering at his temples and he somehow wanted to cheer in triumph and scream with rage. He was so close to having answers, but now he had to just sit and wait and he was sick of waiting. Sidonis was either another dead, innocent comrade or he was a dead man walking, and Garrus needed to know which.
Taking a shaky breath, Garrus paced back and forth a few times as he ran a hand over his face, rubbing his eyes. Finally, he decided he should attempt getting some sort of work done on the Normandy’s weapons systems, as work would make the time pass faster. But just as he came to a stop in front of the console, the door whooshed open. Whipping around, he came face to face with Jane.
“Jane-” He tried to not let his subvocals squeak, betraying his surprise and discomfiture, “Need me for something?” She paused, taking in his disheveled appearance and fidgeting mandibles before responding.
“Have you got a minute?” Jane asked evenly, her face a blank mask. Garrus hesitated, glancing away for a moment as he considered his options. The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was strike up a conversation, not when he was so close to having the answers he’d been craving for nearly a week since making it out of that apartment. He didn’t want to stand around pretending like everything was okay when it wasn’t.
“Can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.” Garrus gestured back toward the console behind him, and was about to turn back toward it when he noticed her irritated expression.
“Oh come on, you can find the time and multitasking ability to chat with John whenever he stops by, but not me?” Jane retorted as she crossed her arms, her face as unbelieving as he probably deserved.
“I’m sorry Jane, I just have a lot I want to get done.”
“Yeah, no .” Jane snorted before stepping forward to nab the edge of his shirt cuff. With a sharp tug, he was lurching toward the door as she turned and dragged him out of the room. They were halfway to the mess hall before his brain caught up. Tugging his arm away from her, he ground to a halt.
“What under the Spirits is wrong with you, Jane? What’s all this about?” Garrus demanded, struggling to not let his features settle into a glare as he looked down at her.
“Come on, I have something to show you. I took a peek at the weapon system’s specs earlier and they’re looking fine, you can afford to take a small break.” He recognized her tone of voice, and sighed as he decided arguing wasn’t going to be terribly effective. Why were humans so damned stubborn? He glanced around the sparsely populated room and noticed the interested glances they were getting and rolled his eyes.
Jane turned and headed toward the elevators, and with another sigh, Garrus followed. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little curious. As he came around the corner, he found her standing a few paces in front of the elevator doors. Coming to a stop before her, he crossed his arms.
“Seriously, Jane. What is this about?” Instead of answering, she took a step closer to him, placing a hand on his chest. He nearly jumped out of his plates at the sudden intimate touch before she suddenly shoved him backwards.
Stumbling, he expected to hit the elevator doors with a hard thud, but the collision never came. Instead, he continued backwards as he toppled into the open elevator. As he regained his footing, a smirking Jane stepped forward neatly into the elevator, moving over to press the holo button for the shuttle bay.
It was like the world was suddenly made up with shades of red, his vision tunneling. Fury pumped through his veins as he clenched his jaw and fists. Garrus drew himself up to his full height and stalked forward until he was standing right before her, so close he could feel her warm breath mingling with his own.
He stared down at her, his flashing blue eyes latching onto and holding tight to her steely green eyes, and he noted, not for the first time, how much smaller she was than him. Nothing in her face or eyes changed, but he noticed the slight bob of her throat as she swallowed.
“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt, going to assume you are not trying to piss me off right now, Shepard .” Garrus growled, his voice a low hiss as his mandibles snapped close to his face.
She remained silent as the elevator continued downward slowly, but refused to step back, regardless of the space behind her. Instead, she stood her ground, shoving her hands into her pockets and shifting her weight casually to one side. Her eyes narrowed slightly, a single eyebrow arching upward in challenge.
“Maybe that’s exactly what I’m trying to do.” She murmured slowly in a husky whisper that sent a shiver down his spine. They were so close that if he leaned down just a hair, their noses would brush, and he couldn’t stop the voice that kept whispering just a little closer, just a little… Her eyes were so deep and he was sure he was going to drown in them if he stood there any longer.
The door pinged as it opened suddenly, making him jump, and the moment shattered. He ripped away from her with a snarl as he stalked out of the elevator, his heart pounding in his ears and his head buzzing from the intensity of it all. Coming to a stop, he tried to take a deep breath to calm himself, and Jane came up beside him and continued on until she was standing before a set of mats and a few basic workout machines. She turned and held her arms out at either side to gesture around her.
“What do you think? I pestered John about getting it set up when we arrived on Omega. It’s all second hand, surprisingly difficult to get quality equipment on Omega for some reason, but I think it’ll serve my purpose.” Jane turned back to face the makeshift gym, crossing her arms.
Garrus glanced around the wide, open room, noting its dramatic departures from the original Normandy’s. All of a sudden, with a whoosh of nostalgia, he was back in the old shuttle bay, a love sick puppy dog mooning after the red haired lieutenant who had so captured his heart and imagination. The woman standing just before him, glancing at him over her shoulder with measuring eyes. After a moment, he took another deep breath, letting it go with a sigh.
“Is this what you wanted to show me? A gym?” Garrus tried to keep the skepticism out of his voice as he raised a brow plate. She turned toward him slightly, scoffing.
“Don’t give me that, you know this is exactly what you need.” Jane muttered as she unzipped her hoodie and tossed it aside to rest on the weight rack, revealing the black tee shirt beneath. He forced himself not to let his eyes drop to examine how it hugged her curves, reminding himself that he was still mad at her. “And since when do you call me Shepard ?” She asked, her voice raised in slight bemusement as she rolled her bad shoulder. He ignored the question, remaining still.
“What I need? How, exactly, is a little workout what I need? Unless this is some sort of commentary on my weight? That’s a little rude, Jane. I think I look pretty good.” Garrus retorted a hint of humor sneaking into his voice as he tried to hide his begrudging smile. Snorting, she rolled her eyes.
“I’m not arguing that , smartass. My point is that you’re so wound up that you’re jumping out of your plates at the slightest provocation. I’d never have called you the coolest, calmest tool in the shed, but I mean, come on . You nearly decked me back there in the elevator.” She leveled a deadpan stare at him, daring him to argue.
“Okay, yeah, but in my defense, you were kind of being a pain in the ass.”
“That’s besides the point. You clearly need to let off some steam.” With that, she walked forward into the middle of the mats, dropping into a defensive form. With dawning realization, he took a few steps forward until he stood before her on the mat. “You might not want to talk about it right now, and I get that, but you need to let it out somehow. One way or another.”
Garrus opened his mouth to respond, but she darted forward almost before he could blink. He blocked her quick jab and jumped back in time to dodge her follow up. His suspicions confirmed, it occurred to him that he shouldn’t have been surprised.
“Really, Jane? Violence doesn’t solve all the world’s problems.” Garrus couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face as she smiled wider, her fists held up before her as she bounced on the balls of her feet loosely.
“Once it fails to solve my problems, I’ll stop relying on it. Until then-” She attacked again with a flurry of jabs, managing to catch him in the side, causing him to jerk in pain. He responded with a counter attack, and the sparring match was off to the races.
“You know Chakwas is probably going to murder us both, right? I’m not supposed to be exerting myself yet.” Garrus pointed out after a few minutes of back and forth hits. Jane shrugged, her smile sly and mischievous.
“I know, that’s why I’m going easy on you.” She chuckled, causing Garrus to roll his eyes at the jab. After a moment, her expression shifted to that of chagrin. “What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her. I won’t tattle if you won’t.”
“Fair enough.” They fell into silence again, the only sounds that of their shifting feet, heavy breathing, and the exchanged blows of their fists. Time dragged on, and though he knew she was going easy on him, he wasn’t mad. Even a week later, he still felt weak after everything that had happened.
“I shouldn’t have been surprised to find you on Omega. Back when I was there last year, I could have sworn I saw you in Afterlife once, I even did a double take.” Jane explained after a few minutes, her words interlaced with punches, “Managed to convince myself it wasn’t you, but perhaps it was.”
“Perhaps, I was known to get a drink there every now and then. Once, I went running after a woman in the markets who looked just like you.”
“That was you? Christ, Garrus, I thought it was either some creep or… Well, something worse.” Jane pointed out, causing Garrus to pause for a moment, his brow plates jumping upward.
“So that really was you? Spirits, I had nearly convinced myself I was going crazy.” Garrus replied and she chuckled, wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead before shifting back into a more defensive form to take a series of attacks from him. Once she managed to repel him, she chuckled.
“I’ll admit to being impressed, you certainly didn’t sit around twiddling your thumbs on Omega, your skills have improved.”
“Well, yeah, I should hope so. Kept busy enough.” Garrus took the moment of respite to roll his shoulders, hearing a series of pops. “There was always plenty to do to keep busy there.”
“So, what did a turian like yourself do for fun on a place like Omega?” She asked casually as she danced to the side, her feet light enough to be a dancer, her from shifting to one he vaguely recognized from some of their past bouts aboard the SR1. He let his own form shift to a style better suited to the types of attacks he suspected were about to be thrown his way.
“If you spent any amount of time there, then you know what the place was like. A cesspool of slime and the dregs of society, criminals that preyed upon the weak with no real laws or consequences.” Garrus felt the rage boiling up in him as he thought about it, about the people he’d spent nearly two years at war with. He threw himself into an assault against the human woman before him, finding a small amount of comfort in the force of his fists colliding with her blocks. He groaned in pain as her elbow caught him in the stomach. Recovering, he continued, “I wouldn’t call my little cleaning service fun, exactly, but it was a good hobby, I’d say.”
“So, you cleaned toilets in your off hours, sounds like a blast.” She replied dryly with a snort, causing his mandibles to flick in amused indignation.
“You probably could call it that, honestly. Took out the trash, cleaned the filth off the streets. One merc at a time.” Garrus ducked as Jane unexpectedly twisted and threw a kick careening toward him. They moved back and forth, exchanging blows in a familiar dance in a way that was somehow both relaxing and exhilarating.
“Like bounty hunting or something? Didn’t get the feeling you were available for hire.”
“No, no one was paying us. We made money by taking down slavers, pirates-” Garrus felt his jaw clench, “-and gangs that went too far.” As she took a few steps back to wipe the sweat off her brow with the back of her wrist, she grinned.
“You must have done something right to piss off three big gangs.” His harsh bark of laughter in response cut his labored breathing, but there was no humor in it.
“My manager at C-Sec would have been proud.” Jane gestured that she was ready to continue, and he took the chance to go on the offensive. “We’d hit their shipments, disrupt activities.” A few quick, well timed jabs and he managed to get a good hit, making her groan as she darted backwards. “Got under their skin. Made them angry.”
Before he knew it, Garrus was laying out details about how his team had worked, what they had accomplished, the tactics they’d used. He outlined how he’d first found his way to Omega, how he’d formed his team, what life had been like fighting alongside them for the betterment of the community. Without even realizing it, their sparring match had begun to peter out and they were just standing before each other in the middle of the mats.
“-I gave them hope.” Garrus finished, after a moment, his shoulders held high and his back straight with pride at the memory of leading his team at their finest moments. Then reality came crashing back down on him and he felt himself deflate in defeat. “And now they’re dead.” He turned around, crossing his arms to hide the sorrow etching his face. “Shows what I know.” He spat with disgust.
“Garrus…” Jane’s voice was gentle, but he winced at the sympathy there, feeling his back stiffen.
“Jane,” He cut in over her, tuning his head enough to glance back at her, “I know what you’re trying to do here. Getting me to loosen up so I’ll talk about it. And I appreciate it, it felt good to talk about them. But I-”
“What happened to them?” She cut right in over him in turn, her words firm in a way he knew meant she expected an answer, and yet gentle and encouraging. “How did those mercenary gangs take down your team?” Garrus hesitated as he turned around to face her again, his eyes seeking out hers. Slowly, he opened his mouth in hopes that the words would somehow find their way out. Taking a deep breath, he heard his voice leave him as though from far away.
“I’m not entirely sure yet, but I’m pretty sure it was my own damn fault.” His eyes fell to the ground, unable to look at her anymore, “I’m currently looking into it, following up on some leads. But when I find out what happened-” He looked up at her again, his eyes flashing as his face set in hard lines, “I’m going to make it right, one way or another.” Jane’s eyes narrowed at that, her face drawing tight with concern.
“What do you-” She started, but Garrus shook his head.
“I don’t know. But when I learn more, I’ll let you know. I promise. I meant it, it was good to talk about them. Thanks.” He smiled at her, though it was somewhat downcast. He felt the mounting exhaustion, both from the physical exertion of the sparring and the emotional exertion of opening that box he kept trying to pack deeper and deeper down. It felt lighter now, he felt lighter now.
“Good. You’re welcome. I needed a good workout, anyway. Starting to get soft, lounging around on this fancy ship.” She stretched her shoulders again, wincing as her bad shoulder popped. “Thanks for telling me about your team. They seemed like good people.” He smiled at that, looking down.
“They were. I miss them a lot.”
“I know.” His eyes shot up at that, something tickling at that back of his memory. Her expression was open and earnest, and something about it made his heartbeat skip in his chest, his breath hitching.
“Jane, I-” He paused, and John’s voice from days before was whispering in his ear.
What worries me is why Jane joined Cerberus.
She knew first hand what Cerberus truly was, she saw those experiments and knows what they did to Kahoku.
She won’t talk at all about what she’s been up to the past two years.
Jane has yet to give me anything resembling a reasonable answer to that question.
…Until I get to the bottom of this, I just can’t trust her
“Jane, why did you join Cerberus?” The words were out of his mouth before he knew what he was asking, but suddenly, Garrus realized he needed an answer to that question. The transformation that overcame her face was instantaneous and complete. The openness from moments before had vanished, only to be replaced by a blank mask.
“I told you, it doesn’t matter.” He felt frustration begin to spark at her even toned answer.
“They’re a terrorist organization, Jane. How does that not matter?” Garrus felt the heat in his words, not sure if he should try and reign himself in. Not sure if he could, his anger seemed to be on a hair trigger the past week.
Jane hesitated for a moment before glancing about, though the room was clearly empty.
“Maybe we can talk about it another time .” Her voice dropped to a whisper, only barely audible, as she consciously turned her face away from EDI’s nearby mounted camera. “The walls have ears.” The four words hit hard as he considered the many possible implications.
Shifting her stance, she then said out loud “I had my reasons, I stand by them, and that needs to be enough for you. I don’t want to talk about it anymore right now.” With that, Jane turned around and grabbed a small towel that was hanging from a nearby machine, wiping her face. His frustration unabated somewhat, but his confusion and suspicions heightened, Garrus fought to let the matter go. For now.
“Fine. Another time, then.”
“I promise.” She added quietly, looking back at him. He nodded, and made his way to the elevator.
As he stood in the painfully slow contraption as it crept up to the crew deck, he heard his omni-tool ping with an incoming message. He looked down just as the door opened to see the sender, and froze. Registering the name, he hurried through the door and through the mess hall until he found the privacy of the main battery.
Opening the message, he felt ice take root in his chest as the words unfurled before him. The bone numbing sensation quickly crept through his veins as his vision began to tunnel again, the words jumping off the screen to echo through his mind.
…booked transport off Omega…
…accounts were cleared out…
…gone, no trace…
Sidonis.
He couldn’t breathe, and the name seemed to blare through his head like a fog horn. Garrus had never thought himself capable of murder in cold blood. He clenched a fist as rage settled into his bones. Apparently, he’d never known himself until that moment.
2 Months Ago
The files she’d managed to pull off the lab console had proved to be quite an enigma for awhile, but they were slowly starting to shed their secrets. She’d managed to put together two small reports on what she’d found for the council, which seemed to at least confirm for them that Cerberus didn’t seem to be building some sort of weapon of mass destruction.
But there was something about the Lazarus Project that just rubbed her the wrong way. There was something… Something tickling the back of her mind, and she just couldn’t figure it out. The pieces weren’t lining up quite right.
She knew it was something medical, there were huge amounts of resources being poured into research and development of very specific medical advances for this project. But as far as she could tell from the wording, it all seemed to be relating back to one man… Just a single, particular man. Was it some sort of super soldier development project? She supposed that could be a danger to Citadel space.
The doctor, Wilson, popped up over and over again, so she knew he had to be a key player. Strangely, she even saw references to Liara T’soni at a few points, though it was unclear what role she had played in it. Jane was preparing to send a message off to Liara as soon as she had a safe opportunity to do so. Miranda Lawson also seemed to be mentioned occasionally, and though Jane only knew her by her reputation within Cerberus, it interested her. She was one of the Illusive Man’s right hand lieutenants, but she seemed to be leading this Lazarus Project.
Which led Jane to the last and final file she’d yet been unable to do much with. It was heavily encrypted and had given her a lot of trouble. But it didn’t seem terribly large, so she’d left it for awhile. However, curiosity was starting to get to her, and the past few nights she had devoted what time she could to cracking it.
When the code finally caved and she was able to access the file, she realized it was a garbled sound bite from what appeared to be a video log. Cleaning it up, she was finally able to get it to play quietly in her ear buds.
“- physical reconstruction of subject is complete, but we still need to evaluate all mental and neurological functions. Our orders were clear: Make Commander Shepard who he was before the explosion - the same mind, the same morals, the same personality. If we alter his personality in any way, if he’s somehow not the same man he used to be, the Lazarus Project will have failed. I refuse to let that happen .”
It wasn’t until her third playthrough of the sound clip that it started to make sense in her brain. As all the pieces to the puzzle started to settle into place, it was as if her world began to spin the wrong way, nausea setting in as she began to understand the implications. She lurched forward off her bunk as the bottom seemed to drop out of her belly, and she stumbled to her feet.
Lazarus… Brought back to life by Jesus … Brought back to life… John. Dead… Bio-synthetic fusion. Same man he used to be. Massive funding. Before the explosion. Medical breakthroughs. Dead... Back to life… John !
Jane struggled to make it to the door, her stomach threatening to send up what remained of her dinner. Stumbling into the hall, she made her way toward the bathroom, making it just in time. Minutes later, she stood before the running sink, her chest heaving as she tried to prevent herself from hyperventilating. She scrubbed her mouth and nose with the back of her hand before splashing her face with water, the world still spinning somewhat.
What had they done to her brother?!
Forcing herself to take deep, slow breaths, she tried to calm down. She couldn’t make assumptions, she didn’t have all the facts. But one avenue of investigation seemed clear. Liara was involved somehow, more than she’d let on.
Jane,
Please forgive the delay in replying to your last message. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you everything before. I didn’t honestly believe they would succeed, I’m still not sure it’s even possible, and I didn’t want to hurt you more than you’d already suffered, should nothing come of it.
I helped retrieve Shepard’s body after it was taken by the Shadow Broker. He planned to sell it to the Collectors, I’m still not sure why. Cerberus told me they could bring Shepard back to life, so I handed his body over to them. Please don’t hate me. I’m not sure if I made the right decision or not, only time will tell. From what you’ve told me, I’m beginning to hope.
However, I was concerned about some of what you relayed, and so I did some more digging. This Doctor Wilson… Could he possibly be a Doctor Steve Wilson? I know he was connected with Cerberus, but I suspect he may recently have been hired as a double agent for the Shadow Broker. If your Wilson is, in fact, Steve Wilson, then Shepard may be in grave danger. The Shadow Broker is still working with the Collectors, and while I do not know their intentions, I do not believe their interest in Shepard to be friendly.
I will continue looking into the matter, but please do what you can to protect Shepard. You know better than anyone how much rests upon his return. We need him.
-Liara
Chapter 31: Part 2: Chapter 7
Summary:
In which Garrus discovers a smell he really likes.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 7
Purgatory Maximum Security Prison, Present Day
Their footsteps echoed along the corridor ahead of them, the cool looks from the guards were the only other movement on this side of the glass. Garrus and Jane followed hot on Shepard’s heels, the only two to be accompanying him for this mission, if it could be called that. It was, apparently, a simple pick up; Subject Zero was some sort of prisoner that Cerberus, evidently, had paid a great deal of money for and was to become a part of their team, should Shepard approve.
Garrus wasn’t sure how he felt about fighting alongside a convicted felon, but he supposed that wasn’t any more odd than the rest of the current team at this point. There was still a part of him that wondered if he was actually laying in a coma following his rocket-to-the-face incident and everything that had happened thereafter had been some sort of fever dream. It seemed to make about that much sense. Regardless, it all came down to trusting that Shepard knew what he was doing, Garrus could go along with that. Shepard was clearly better suited to command than himself, that was evident.
Honestly, though, he was just happy to have a chance to stretch his legs. He needed something to do, and anything was better than pacing the main battery, obsessing over Si- Well, he needed to get out of his own head for his own good. Nothing like a mission to shake things up.
It had felt good to finally open up to Jane and then to Shepard about everything that had happened on Omega, and Garrus thought he’d done a pretty good job remaining fairly calm and collected through the account. In fact, he was pretty proud of how civil he’d been with the crew in general since his confirmation of Sidonis’ guilt. Deep down, he wanted to scream and rage and throw things, but on the outside, he was his usual, albeit slightly more sarcastic, self.
Except, perhaps, when it came to Jane. It had always been difficult to hide things from Jane, she always made him feel a bit more raw and exposed than anyone else he’d ever known. She knew how to push his buttons, and he was really trying not to let her. It generally resulted in a sparring match, where she wiped the floor with his ass a majority of the time.
Glancing through the window, Garrus wasn’t sure how he felt about Purgatory. He looked over at Jane to see her casually stroking her sidearm, a glare firmly affixed to her highly unamused features. Ahead of them, Shepard’s shoulders were held so stiffly that Garrus could almost imagine his expression of indignant outrage as they turned the corner to see a guard watching as another beat a prisoner in his cell. Garrus sneered in disgust.
“You don’t even get good information that way.” He muttered as they all came to a slow before stopping to watch the spectacle. “After a point, victims admit to anything to make the pain stop.” Shepard grunted in acknowledgment as he came to stand beside the spectating guard. After a moment, the guard looked over at them.
“Is there something I can do for you?” The guard’s voice was surprisingly civil, given what was going on just before them, which just seemed to make Shepard more irate, his voice snapping.
“There’s no excuse for beating a prisoner who can’t fight back.” The guard just shrugged as he looked back into the cell.
“This is a massage in comparison to what his victims went through.” The guard pointed by way of explanation, and beside him, Garrus could see Jane roll her eyes and scoff. He knew what was coming next, Shepard was going to do what he did best. He would appeal to their better natures, make them feel bad for their actions, and get them to leave the prisoner alone.
What happened instead seemed, to Garrus, even more shocking than seeing a prisoner abused. Shepard turned slowly to look at the guard, his eyes narrowing as his hand mirrored Jane’s, resting lightly upon his sidearm.
“I wasn’t asking.” His words were cold steel, the implication clear as day and enough to send a shiver down Garrus’ spine. The guard seemed to stiffen as the message was received, as did Jane.
“You’re in a high-security facility, with guns and cameras everywhere,” The guard turned his full attention to Shepard, taking a step forward, his voice incredulous, “and you’re threatening me?”
“Those guns and cameras won’t be fast enough to save you.” Shepard growled before turning away, leaving everyone shocked.
“Is that right?” The guard seemed to consider them with fresh eyes, his gaze landing on their weapons and hard eyes. Despite their surprise surrounding Shepard’s behavior, Jane and Garrus stood tall and ready behind him. Shepard turned his full body toward the guard, leaning forward into the man’s face, his shoulders squared.
“I told you to stop.” He hissed in a low, dangerous tone, and Garrus couldn’t help but wonder for a moment if the entire world had gone insane. Was this, in fact, Shepard afterall? If he didn’t know better, he’d have begun to worry. The guard seemed to come to a decision after a moment’s hesitation.
“Call it off.” He said hurriedly into his com, glancing back at Shepard for a second before adding, “At least for now.” Before them, the guard in the cell relented, the prisoner panting and crying on the floor as he curled in on himself. No words were exchanged as they stood there, but after a moment, Garrus looked at Jane to see her staring at Shepard with a concerned, measuring look that must have been similar to the one he suspected had been on his own face. Silently, Shepard stepped around the guard and continued down the hall. Jane and Garrus exchanged a heavy look before following after.
“ My apologies, Shepard. You’re more valuable as a prisoner than a customer.” The voice of Warden Kuril filtered into the room over the com system, and Garrus couldn’t tell if he was surprised or not. Nothing was ever easy or simple when you tagged along with Shepard, it seemed. “ Drop your weapons and proceed into this open cell. You will not be harmed.” Garrus couldn't help but think about the prisoner they’d saved earlier and thought yeah right .
“Go to hell.” Shepard snapped up at the camera, “Better yet, I’ll send you there myself .”
“ Activate systems!” With that, the three of them darted into cover as the door opened and two armed mercs took up positions, weapons drawn.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Garrus muttered from where he knelt, pulling out his rifle and looking up to see the Shepards arming themselves as well. “Should have expected something like this from a barefaced bastard…”
“Fucking hell, John. We had one job to do. Pick up the prisoner, bring them back to the Normandy. Quick in and out. But noooo, it’s never that simple when you’re around, is it.” Jane growled as she rolled her eyes and ducked out of cover to fire off a few rounds of cover fire.
“It’s not my fault! Well, maybe it kind of is. But that’s not the point. If Miranda has to send another team in here to retrieve us, she’s going to fucking murder me. And then she’s going to yell at me for making her have to resurrect me again .” Shepard bemoaned as he fired off a biotic shockwave, flinging one of the guards into the wall with a sickening crack.
“It is too soon to joke about that. Not funny, John.” Jane snapped as she punched him hard in the arm, causing Shepard to wince and rub his shoulder, even through the armor.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Christ, Jane, that hurt.”
“Oh, grow up, you big baby.”
“Okay, okay, enough you two.” Garrus rolled his eyes as he fended off an amused flick of his mandibles at the sibling exchange that so reminded him of his own sister. “While I know I’m pretty good, I’d rather you not leave all the work to me while you bicker.” Two pairs of eyes leveled unamused stares at him, causing him to grin. Whatever part of him that worried about Shepard’s authenticity evaporated as the two siblings rolled their eyes right back at him in unison.
It had been a few days since Subject Zero, also known as Jack, had joined their crew, and Garrus still wasn’t entirely sure if it had been the correct decision. He decided to trust that Shepard knew what he was doing. But he couldn’t lie, the strange, bald woman squatting below engineering made him a little nervous. Thus far, it had been easy to pretend she wasn’t there, as she really hadn’t shown her face much during the three days she’d been aboard.
“Wasn’t there a stupid phrase I’m supposed to tell you when I don’t have the card you want?” Garrus asked airly, fanning his cards out again to double check he didn’t, in fact, have the card in question. Jane leveled a stare at him, clearly unimpressed as she put her cards down with a sigh.
“You know perfectly well what it is because it’s the name of the goddamn game. Do you have any twos or not?” Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle before telling her to ‘go fish’. Jane drew her card in consternation before looking over to where Shepard sat, staring down at his own cards in consideration.
“Jane, got any sev-”
“Hey there, Jack. Was starting to think you weren’t ever going to leave your hidey hole.” Jane interrupted him, calling out across the mess hall. Her voice was carefully neutral, but there was a hint of an upward curl to the corner of her mouth that Garrus knew meant trouble.
Judging from Shepard’s pained expression, he, too, remembered the rough start to the two women’s relationship. It had been Jane who’d first caught up to the fleeing biotic aboard the burning prison station, and while it hadn’t resulted in blood spilt, it had been a close call on both sides.
Garrus turned to see Jack standing in the kitchenette, a nervous looking Mess Sergeant Gardner lingering nearby, unsure of how to handle the explosive convict in his domain. Jack grabbed a water bottle and a food pack before slamming the fridge closed, a sneer on her face.
“We’re playing a rousing game of ‘Go Fish’, why don’t you come join us? We can deal you in.” The words were friendly enough, but there was something beneath them that Garrus couldn’t quite put his finger on. Whatever it was, Jack must have heard it, too.
“Fuck off, Princess. I don’t have time to dick around with Cerberus lap dogs.” She spat as she turned and stalked off toward the elevators again. This elicited an amused bark of laughter from the redhead, who put her cards down again and lounged back in her chair.
“Lap dogs? I’m sorry to burst your bubble, Subject Zero, but now that you’re part of the crew, you’re just as much a Cerberus lackey as the rest of us.” The reaction in Jack was instantaneous, and Garrus could hear Shepard let loose an exasperated sigh.
“ Screw you !” Jack yelled as she strode up to Jane, looming over her where she sat. “You have a lot of nerve, talking to me.” She added, her eyes narrowed as her fists flashed with bright blue biotics. Jane remained where she sat, a single unamused eyebrow lifted, her expression unimpressed.
“Jack-” Shepard’s warning went completely unheaded.
“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Princess. You sit there thinking you’re so clever, but I could crush you like a fucking bug. You’re too soft, I can tell just by looking at you.You wouldn’t have stood a chance if you’d been through what I had to go through, what Cerberus put me through. I bet you had a happy, cushy little childhood, huh?” Jack yelled, her voice full of venom, an accusatory finger in the other woman’s face. Jane’s eyes flashed, but she moved slowly, almost languidly as she got to her feet. She crossed her arms, leaning her weight to one side with evident indifference.
“Ah yes, I should have known that your overcompensation and attitude issues were that of a sad, scared little child, demanding to be noticed.” Jane’s voice dripped with unadulterated disdain, the comment aimed with precision, just like a shot from her rifle. The effect was immediate, Jack’s eyes widening with outrage, her biotics raging to surround her. With a flick of her wrist, she sent Jane’s abandoned chair flying against the wall with a crash, sending two scared crew members scurrying.
“ Why you-”
“ ENOUGH ! ” Shepard yelled as his fist smashed into the table before he was suddenly between the two, pushing them apart, his own biotics flaring up. “Jack, we do not use biotics against crewmates, do I make myself clea r?” He snapped, turning to the tattooed woman. After a tense moment, the biotics around her dimmed and extinguished. “Thank you. Now, unless you need anything further from the mess, please return to Engineering until you’ve both calmed down.”
“Fuck this shit.” Jack muttered as she spun around and stomped toward the elevators, disappearing around the corner. Shepard took a deep breath before turning to face a self-satisfied looking Jane.
“And you -” Shepard started, jabbing an angry finger in her direction, causing her to shrug.
“What? I didn’t do anything wrong.” Garrus struggled to hide his smile as Shepard fought the roll his eyes desperately wanted to complete. “She started it! I was trying to be friendly.”
“Bullshit. If that’s your excuse for friendly, I really don’t want to see what it looks like when you’re trying to be an ass.” Shepard muttered as he ran an exhausted hand over his close cropped hair. “I expect better from you, Jane. I’m trying to build a crew, a team, and you’re making it impossible.” Jane slumped a bit at that, the truth of the words landing.
“I’m sorry John. She’s just-” Jane waved a hand in midair, looking for a particular word, “She’s a bit much. Her buttons are so easy to push.”
“Well, stop it. You’re undermining me and making my job harder. I’m disappointed in you, our mission is more important than waving your goddamn dick around.” The firmness Garrus remembered from so long ago was back in Shepard’s voice, that of The Commander, their fearless leader. Jane must have heard it, too, because her eyes immediately dropped, chastised.
“Sorry, John.” The silence that followed was long and uncomfortable.
“If you guys are done, can we finish our game?” Garrus leaned back in his chair, gesturing to the cards strewn across the table. “Picking fights with convicts isn’t a good way to get out of losing at cards, I think flipping the table might be more effective. It’s an old classic, afterall.” Jane snorted as she picked up her chair, returning it to its original place before sitting.
“Whatever, Vakarian. Let’s see you put your money where your mouth is.” As they continued their game, Garrus couldn’t help but think longingly of days long past aboard the original Normandy. The crew had been so close, a family. Sadly, he was having trouble, for some reason , envisioning the current ‘team’ as ever coming to feel that way. His team on Omega had felt like a family, somewhat. And now they were gone. Dead.
As the game continued, it became less and less effective at preventing the ideation that had begun to plague him more and more often. The obsessive, intrusive thoughts regarding a certain spirits-forsaken turian and what Garrus was going to do when he got hold of him.
It was sometime in the wee hours of the morning when Garrus finally gave up trying to sleep. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last time that sleep evaded him. It was becoming increasingly difficult to manage the feelings he wanted so desperately to avoid. Even when he did manage to sleep, his dreams were haunted by the faces of his dead team staring back at him, all demanding to know why Sidonis was allowed to walk free when they had paid the ultimate price.
Grunting, he rolled out of his bunk and padded to the door as quietly as he could. Walking out into the silent, slightly darkened hallway, he considered his options. Deciding against trying to work, he beelined for the elevator, feeling the urge to get his body moving, to lose himself in the rush of a good workout.
But as soon as he stepped out into the shuttle bay, he realized he wasn’t alone. With a sudden jolt of pleasure and apprehension, he realized it had to be Jane, but then he heard the telltale sounds of two bodies sparring, and he furrowed his brow in confusion. Biting down a sudden stab of jealousy at the thought of Jane seeking out someone else to spar with, he came to a stop as the couple came into view.
All jealousy evaporated as he watched the two Shepards ducking and weaving as they exchanged blows, their satisfied smirks near mirrors of the other’s. Garrus stood there and simply watched as the two evenly matched warriors duked it out, apparently oblivious to their new spectator.
“You’ve improved, Jane. I’m impressed.” John chuckled as he danced back from a particularly close call, Jane’s fist nearly making contact with his chin.
“Well, not all of us have cybernetic enhancements, but we do what we can.” Jane shot back as she danced from foot to foot, her fists raised and ready for the Commander’s next assault. He didn’t disappoint her, closing the space between them with a vicious combo.
“Ugh, don’t remind me.”
“What, don’t like your newly increased strength, stamina, and defenses?” She asked dryly, blocking one of his attacks and using the opportunity to land a hit. John reeled for a moment, shaking his head before bringing his fists back up.
“I thought I wasn’t supposed to talk about me dying and all.” His eyes were unamused, his voice dry and sarcastic. Jane’s answering expression was long-suffering.
“You’re allowed to talk about it, you’re just not allowed to joke about it, you ass.” They exchanged a few blows before she continued. “You haven’t been yourself lately.” Jane said so softly that Garrus nearly missed it, and suddenly he wondered if he should leave and let them have their privacy.
“ Me ? I’ve not been myself? It’s all you who have changed. It was like a month or two ago when we were all aboard the Normandy SR1 together, for me at least. For you, it’s been two years. Two years . You know what a shock it’s been, waking up and realizing everyone is suddenly different?” Shepard sighed, pausing the wipe at the sweat gathering on his forehead. “And I remember dying. I don’t even know how to start processing that.” There was a pause before Jane responded quietly.
“I’m sorry, I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, John.”
“Yeah, it’s been a bit of a bumpy ride, alright.” They stood there for a moment before dropping back into their stances, ready to continue. The siblings fell into a comfortable pattern of attack and retreat, defend and dodge. After a few minutes, Jane grinned her cheshire smile.
“You know what you need?” She asked, and John rolled his eyes.
“I swear to god, don’t you dare suggest that I need to hit something. What does it look like I’m doing? I let you talk me into this .” He dodged her next attack. “And, if I’m being honest, it’s really not doing it for me. No offense, I just don’t think violence is as soothing for me as it is for you.” Jane scoffed at that, rolling her shoulder before attacking again.
“Hard to believe it, but that wasn’t what I was going to suggest.” She blocked his next attack before countering with an attack of her own. “What you need is to get laid.” The statement was so unexpected that John stumbled backwards, sputtering in shocked incredulity.
“ What? Jane! Seriously?!” Garrus felt his mandibles flutter in amusement at the slight pink flush to the Commander’s cheeks, though he supposed that could have been from the exertion of their fight. John had always seemed a little oblivious, almost naive, when it came to romance.
“What? It’s true. You’re so wound up, you need to let loose some steam. That shit you pulled with those guards on Purgatory? The ones beating up that prisoner. That wasn’t like you, you’ve been making me worry. You need a healthy outlet.” The fight had come to a halt, and the two stood there facing each other in the middle of the mats.
“Can we not talk about my love life right now?” John grumbled and Jane snorted as she crossed her arms.
“Or lack thereof.” She muttered under her breath, causing John to jam his fists onto his hips, his expression screaming his indignation.
“Oh, like you can talk!” Jane flushed pink as she scowled, her mouth open to retort when John waved a hand to interrupt her. “You know what? No, I don’t want to talk about this, this is not a topic I want to discuss with my baby sister.”
“I’m not that much younger than you anymore, John.” Jane stated as she shifted her weight to one hip, a smile replacing her indignation of moments before. The statement seemed to surprise John, who cocked his head in confusion. “You were dead for two years, I wasn’t. You might have been born before me, but we’ve experienced about the same amount of years being alive.” John’s mouth opened to reply, but he snapped it shut again, considering her words.
“Huh. Well. I guess that makes sense. Though, technically I think I was no longer clinically dead for a while before I woke up. We can ask Miranda for specifics, I guess. But damn, that’s so…”
“Weird, right?” They both chuckled at that, and after a heartbeat, John took a step forward to place a hand upon her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. They stood like that, completely silent until Jane leaned forward to press her forehead against her brother’s shoulder. “I missed you, John.” She whispered, her smile melting to reveal a hint of the pain she’d harbored for two years.
“I know. I’m sorry I left you all alone. I’m glad you’re not alone anymore.” With that, they shifted forward into a tight hug, and Garrus silently turned back toward the elevator with a bittersweet smile on his face, deciding to give the two their privacy.
“I am going to find someone to hook you up with, though.” Garrus pressed the holo button for the elevator, stifling a chuckle as Jane’s voice echoed across the room.
“ Shut up , Jane.” Came John’s tired but amused reply.
“Whoa, whoa, wait. What? You guys released that tank bred krogan we picked up on Korlus?” Garrus felt his eyes pop out of his head as stared down at Jane where she sat upon the med bay cot, the incredulity in his voice only heightened by his sub vocals.
“Grunt.”
“What?”
“His name is Grunt. Or at least, that’s what he named himself.” Her tone was offhanded, as though the whole ordeal had been inconsequential.
“Oookay. That aside, what under the spirits possessed you both to open that tank and let it out? By yourselves, much less.” It was hard to keep the frustration from peeking through into his voice, indignation rising up in his chest at an alarming rate. Jane raised an eyebrow in confusion at him.
“It’s not that big of a deal, Garrus. We’re fine. For the most part.” She rolled her neck, wincing. “It’s not the first time I’ve taken a charge from a krogan, though maybe the first time without armor. John got him off me pretty quickly, and I was armed. It was fine.”
“That’s… That’s not the point!” He brought his head down to rub his eyes as he sighed, trying to keep his frustration in check. “Did EDI know what you guys were planning?”
“Well, she definitely wasn’t pleased with the idea, and even I had some reservations. But you try saying ‘no’ to John, tell me how that works out for you.” Jane shrugged as Dr. Chakwas came back over, handing her a small cup with a few pills for her to swallow. Taking the cup, Jane tossed them back with a small grimace before accepting a cup of water. “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this, Garrus. We’re fine, Grunt’s joining the crew, it all worked out. End of story.”
“It was incredibly dangerous! He could have been unstable, he could have killed you! Nearly did, from the looks of it!” He threw his arms out in indignation, gesturing to the med bay around them.
“Garrus, calm down. I’m fine, I’ve done and been through worse.” Her tone was placating now, which only seemed to make the growing anger in his chest worse. His temper had been unpredictable the past few weeks since joining Shepard’s crew. He tried so hard to keep it restrained, to keep a firm harness on it, but Jane always had a way of dragging his emotions out of him.
“It was reckless and-”
“Stop lecturing me.” She said calmly but firmly, “Look. I get it, I understand the process of mourning people you care about. But you need to stop lashing out at me.” Despite their even tone, the words were like a slap in the face, leaving him winded for a moment as his mandibles fell slack.
“I’m not-”
“Yes. You are.” Jane jumped down off the cot, lifting a hand up to feel her tender neck. “I’ve been doing my best to let it go, but I’m getting sick of it.” She turned and made for the door with a small thanks for the doctor. Garrus stalked after her as she stepped through the door into the empty corridor, his jaw tight. “Look, I understand what you’re going through, I really do.”
All of a sudden, he was standing back on the Presidium green at Shepard’s memorial, except their roles were reversed, and he understood . He felt as though he could finally comprehend the rage Jane had thrown at him like a whirlwind.
“You understand ? How can you possibly understand what I’ve gone through?!” Garrus spat, his eyes narrowing as he drew up to his full height. He stared down at her as she stopped, turning to face him. “My entire team is dead . I failed to keep a single one of them alive. Don’t tell me you understand how that feels.” Jane seemed to examine him for a moment, her eyes weighing and considering. A heartbeat later, she seemed to come to a decision, turning on the spot and continuing down the hall.
“Follow me.” Was all she said before rounding the corner, leaving Garrus to growl in frustration, the anger in his chest demanding some sort of outlet. Smacking his fist into the wall, he took a deep breath before following after Jane, watching as she palmed open the port side observation deck.
As Garrus entered behind her, he watched from the door as she walked over to stand behind the small bar in the corner. When she noticed him standing in the doorway, she gestured to the open seat before her, then bent down to grab a colorful bottle. As he hesitantly came to sit before her, she began pouring the drink into a low glass before grabbing it and tossing it back with a wince and a quick shake of her head.
“What, exactly, are you doing?” The anger was starting to cool to be replaced by bemused confusion. She arched an eyebrow at the question as she immediately began pouring a second.
“I thought that much was obvious.” She tossed back the second drink before putting down the bottle and reaching for one somewhat more recognizable to him. “I’m going to tell you about something that happened a while back, something which I don’t talk about sober.” She poured the blue drink out into another glass before pushing it toward him. Garrus looked down at it, raising a brow plate of his own in reply. “What? We’re not on duty right now, it’s fine.” With that, he shrugged and tossed the drink back, savoring the burn.
“What’s this about, Jane?” He asked as soon as he’d put his glass down, but once the question was out of his mouth, he vaguely remembered something Shepard had told him soon after he’d rejoined the crew. The silence dragged on for probably a full minute before she responded.
“Torfan.” Was all she said, her eyes flicking up from the bottle in her hands to lock with his. The look in her eyes was leaden, as though just the word was enough to send her hurdling back to dark places within herself. After a moment, she looked back down and busied herself with pouring them both another drink. As she handed him his, he stared down at it as he wracked his brain for everything he knew about Torfan.
From what he remembered, it wasn’t all that different from Omega, just on a much smaller scale. It was a small moon used as a base for some of the galaxy’s less desirables, mostly criminals. The population was mostly batarians, and it had an extensive network of underground tunnels. There had been some sort of Alliance raid a while back after the Skyllian Blitz and-
Ah. The pieces started falling into place, the rest of what Shepard had told him making sense.
“It was my Omega, in a way.” She stated after a moment before bringing her drink up to take a sip. “The situations were different, but the outcome wasn’t. I was part of the raid, the retaliation for what the batarians tried to pull at Elysium. I was just a kid, barely 22 at the time.” She sighed, taking another sip as she leaned back against the shelf behind her. “I didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. None of us did. It was a fucking blood bath. For both sides. We had to root them out of the underground strongholds, but they were deeply entrenched.” Jane looked up, but seemed unable to meet his eyes, looking at everything and anything but him as she continued. Finally, she came around the bar and took a seat next to him, looking down at her drink again.
“Our commanding officer, Major Kyle, was killed pretty early on, and we splintered after that. I gathered up a handful of men and we fought our way through, room by room. It was complete chaos.” She shuddered, clenching her eyes shut. She went quiet for a minute and he watched her chest rise and fall as she focused on breathing to calm herself. “I don’t know how the Alliance managed it, it must have been sheer numbers, but we cleared them out. By the skin of our teeth. But my ‘team’, such as it was… Well-”
Jane took another deep breath before turning to look at him. He felt his heart thud in his chest at the pained expression on her face as their eyes locked. Even with her soft human features, it was as though he were looking in a mirror, the emotions etched across her face an exact match for those he had been laboring under the past few weeks. He opened his mouth to reply, but found no words that seemed worthy of being uttered.
“Garrus… I understand what you’re going through. Those men and women, my teammates and friends, are dead because of the orders I gave, the decisions I made. I have to live with that for the rest of my life, and it weighs on me. Every. Single. Damn. Day.” She tipped the glass back, swallowing what was left of her drink before clinking the glass back down onto the bar top. “The pain… It doesn’t lessen, doesn’t go away. You just get better at handling it. I was a mess after Torfan, they put me through a series of mental health evaluations, therapy, the whole nine yards. It’s still hard to talk about, but in the end, you just have to mourn them and continue moving forward.” Jane looked back to him, turning her stool slightly to face him. After a moment, he finally managed to work past the dryness in his mouth to reply.
“Jane… I-” He swallowed, “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It was a long time ago.” Despite the cold words, her expression seemed to echo the pain she was clearly still feeling. They shared a silence, neither easy nor awkward, until finally he tipped his drink back. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he placed his glass back down.
“How? How do I just pick up the pieces and keep moving forward? After everything…?” The words escaped him in a whisper, his voice cracking and his subvocals resonating with the deep, bone aching sadness he seemed to always be carrying these days. Her eyes softened, and then his whole body went still as his world imploded.
Jane leaned forward off her seat, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him close. Garrus froze, unsure at first what he should do. Hesitantly at first, he let his arms come up to snake around her, worried that if he moved too fast, the dream would pop like a bubble.
As his hands came to rest on her back, Garrus felt the soft and firm muscles beneath his fingers, shifting just beneath her shirt. She brought her head down to rest against his neck and he felt himself shudder, a shiver running down his spine as the bottom of his belly seemed to drop out. He felt the fine, soft tendrils of her hair tickle the sensitive skin along his neck and he let his head fall to rest against her shoulder.
“You just force yourself to take one step. Then another. And then another.” Jane whispered, her voice low and soft, a gentleness there that he wasn’t used to. After a moment, he shut his eyes and sighed, pulling her closer as his grip tightened. He felt her own arms tighten around him in response.
Garrus took a deep, calming breath in and was instantly assaulted by a smell so utterly Jane that his head nearly began spinning. Gun oil, something floral, and her base human smell that was all her own. Something in his chest seized, the heady smell of her causing him to rush back to those last few weeks aboard the Normandy SR1 when she’d filled his head so completely.
Without warning, she slowly pulled back, her hands still resting on his chest lightly. Her impossibly large, human eyes were heavily lidded as she looked up at him, and not for the first time he felt as though he might be drowning in them.
Jane’s face was slightly flushed, and he couldn’t stop the small, excited voice in the back of his head from wondering: Was it the alcohol, or was it… him ? His heart was hammering in his ears, everything else being drowned out. Could he possibly be reading her correctly? Her lips were just barely parted as her eyes darted downwards slightly with a nervous, anticipatory energy before they jumped back to his eyes.
“Garrus,” She started, her voice husky and hesitant, “I-”
The bubble popped as her com sprang to life, the harsh sound enough to stop Garrus’ heart in his chest.
“ Jane, can you come down to Engineering for a moment? They need help with something and I think you’d be the most qualified to assist. ” Shepard’s voice called out from her omni-tool, causing Jane to stiffen as she began to pull back, her eyes going wide. After a moment, she looked down, a pained expression on her face.
“John, now really isn’t the best time.” Her reply was strained, her irritation at the summons evident.
“ What do you mean ?” Shepard’s genuine confusion did little to stifle Garrus’ vexation as Jane pulled away completely.
“Well, for starters, I’m not exactly sober.” She turned back toward the bar, her voice dry and sardonic. As the words left her lips, Garrus froze, ice settling in his veins as the warmth from moments ago vanished as though it’d never been. For a split second there, he’d thought there had been a possibility that she felt… something akin to his own feelings for her. There’d been something between them in those moments, the air between them had felt electric, as though-
But no. She might not be slurring her words, but she was definitely under the influence. How much of what he was sensing from her were her feelings, and how much of it really was the alcohol? Would she be this open, this affectionate without it? Probably not.
“ Jane, seriously?” Came Shepard’s exasperated response.
“What do you mean by that? I’m not on duty at the moment, I can spend my time how I want. You made that clear when this mission started!”
“... Okay, fine, point taken. How drunk are you, exactly?” Shepard’s disgruntled reply came, causing Jane to shrug, even though her brother couldn’t see her.
“I mean, I wouldn’t say I’m drunk drunk, but maybe like a little drunk? A teeny bit drunk. An Itty bitty bit drunk.” Jane’s voice jumped in pitch and wobbled a little as though unsure, causing Shepard to sigh bemusedly.
“ Okay, fine. I’d still like your opinion on the matter, I’ll just take whatever you say with a spoonful of salt. Maybe we can reevaluate tomorrow before we dock at the Citadel when we put in the part order.” Jane glanced back at Garrus for a moment before groaning and turning toward the door.
“I’ll be down in a moment.” She muttered before closing her com and shutting off her omni tool’s display. Standing from her stool, she dusted off her pants before turning back to Garrus. They stood there for a moment before she opened her mouth, only to close it again with a click, the expression on her face unreadable.
Instead, she raised a single hand to his chest, placing it there for a moment before making her way to the door. She paused before the door controls, turning back to him after a thoughtful moment.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, Garrus, but you’re going to be okay. You’ll make it through this, and we’re here for you.” She flashed him a smile before opening the door and leaving. The door shut behind her, leaving Garrus alone with his confused and muddled thoughts. Suddenly, despite her words, he felt so achingly, so dismally alone on the huge, sparkling, elegant ship. He wanted nothing more than to have her in his arms again.
With a growl that only slightly overwhelmed the sorrow in his subvocals, he reached for the bottle of dextro liquor again, sloshing it into his glass before draining it in a single gulp. He didn’t want to think anymore.
1.5 Months Ago
As Jane read through the message from Liara, she felt rising dread clawing at her throat. So they honestly were trying to resurrect her brother? She didn’t even know how to begin feeling about that. And this Doctor Steve Wilson…? Could he be the same Wilson she’d read about connected to this Lazarus Project?
She had to get a message to Miranda Lawson, somehow. Jane stood and darted for the door, hurrying down the hall to the communication office. She strode through the door, shutting off her hacking program and closing her omni tool, her determination evident in her hard expression, pace not slowing for a moment.
“What are you doing here? You can’t be here!” The com tech yelled as he turned to face her, his surprise turning to fear as she hurried toward him. With a swift, gantleted backhand, she sent the man flying, landing hard on the ground with a crash. Jane spared him half a glance to insure he was out as she slid into his seat, her fingers flashing over the keys.
Gone were the precautions of the last few months, this time there was no time on her side. If, if they had truly managed to bring John back, then he was in danger. She had very little idea what the best plan of action was, but panic fought her for the control reins. Without concern for detection, it didn’t take long to access the information she needed, confirming the Wilson she’d read in connection to the Lazarus Project was, in fact, the same Steve Wilson Liara had warned her about. Quickly, she was able to locate Lawson’s contact information, and she was halfway through writing out a warning message when she ran into a wall.
Or a series of walls. Someone knew she was in the system, someone who was actively trying to shut her out. Jane didn’t know who, it could have been a friend or a foe, as much as anyone in Cerberus was a friend, but at the moment it didn’t matter. Someone was trying to get between her and protecting what was left of her brother.
Growling, she whipped out her omni tool again, pulling up one of her hacking programs and putting in a few commands before returning to the console before her.
With triumph, she managed to get the message sent to Lawson through a series of backdoors, but without any sort of receipt confirmation, to her frustration. Smashing her fist into the desk, she refused to leave John’s fate, such as it was, up to chance.
Entering another few commands into her omni tool, she returned to the console before her with another goal in mind. Somewhere, the Lazarus Project had a station where her brother’s remains, and whatever they had done to them, were located. If she could just figure out where the station was…
Glancing down at her omni tool, she could see that whoever was trying to shut her out was getting closer to locating her, despite her efforts to keep her point of entry undisclosed. She pulled up file after file, her eyes racing across the screen as she searched in a frenzy for the information she needed.
“Ah ha!” Jane stood up, nearly fist pumping as she found the location of the base. Lawson, or whoever was in charge of their security, had gone to great efforts to keep the location secret, but she’d found it. With soaring elation, she realized it wasn’t far from the base she was currently stationed on. Running her omni tool over the console, she quickly copied over the coordinates before darting from the room.
Jane made it about two steps out the door before the alarm started going off. Cursing, she picked up her pace, making for the base’s nearest shuttle port. Shouldering past confused looking scientists and guards, she beelined for the Kodiak Drop Shuttle, throwing herself through the door and landing hard in the pilot’s seat.
She’d been so single mindedly focused on finding John and ensuring either he or his remains were okay, that she hadn’t really considered if her actions might have been a little overboard. As she finally began to calm herself, the autopilot set for the Lazarus Research Station, doubt started setting in. Bringing her hands up to scrub her face in exhaustion, she hoped to god she wasn’t overreacting. She’d probably just blown her cover, though technically her mission was nearly complete after she’d sent off her report regarding the purpose of the Lazarus Project. Either way, there was probably no going back after this.
All her worries and regrets vanished to be replaced with new ones the moment her shuttle docked at the research station as she was greeted by explosions, gunfire, and familiar far off sound of people screaming.
Chapter 32: Part 2: Chapter 8
Summary:
In which Garrus unexpectedly discovers a secret.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 8
Zakera Ward, Present Day
The moment his feet stepped onto the dock at the Citadel, Garrus could feel a bittersweet taste on his tongue. Logically, he knew this place was his home, and in a way he was happy to see it again. Yet, it felt odd, as though he were looking back on the memories of another person, as though the Garrus Vakarian who lived and worked here for so long was some other Garrus Vakarian, someone he could hardly relate to anymore
He didn’t miss the fact that they were not welcomed with open arms into the Alliance docking bay. He supposed a Cerberus ship was not granted such privileges, no matter who captained her. Then again, the Alliance and the Council probably had no reason to believe Shepard truly alive at this point, despite the proposed upcoming meeting. It was certainly difficult to believe until you saw him with your own eyes. Garrus could certainly attest to that.
“So, what’s the plan, Shepard?” He asked, glancing up the line to the new security checkpoint apprehensively.
“I have my meeting with Anderson soon, but I have some errands I need to run first. A couple of people on the crew have made some requests for specific supplies that I’d like to pick up.” Shepard replied, checking the time on his omni tool.
Glancing about the team assembled near the Normandy’s jetway, Garrus decided it was an interesting bunch. Mordin had opted to stay and get work done in his lab, apparently looking forward to the quiet as a good deal of the crew would be away. Jack was coming, though Spirits only knew what her plans were. When he’d inquired, he’d been met with an instruction to go do something lewd which he was pretty sure was physically impossible for just about any species. Except perhaps the hanar…? He shuddered at the thought.
Zaeed had come along as well, declaring his plans to meet up with a couple of old friends, no doubt as gruff and weathered as he. Garrus wondered if perhaps he should contact some of his own friends, maybe Ridgefield and Lamont. But he quickly squashed that idea. He’d dropped contact with all of them so suddenly and completely that it felt awkward to just pop up and act like everything was fine. Plus, he had some contacts he wanted to touch base with in regards to his search for Sidonis, and that had to be his top priority.
“I looked up a few shops on this ward that I’d like to visit.” Grunt, the tank bred krogan, chimed in, something almost like a smile on his chiseled features. “There’s this one neat looking explosives shop, and then there’s a comic shop, and a krogan restaurant that I’d like to try. The pictures looked really yummy…” With each location, he held up another finger, looking down at them with a pleased expression.
“I think it’s best if you stay with me, Grunt. You’ve never been to the Citadel before, and it’s a very big place.” Shepard pointed out slowly, his voice doing very little to hide his obvious concern. “I don’t want you getting lost. We might be able to find some time to stop by one or two of those before we head back later-”
“Oh, let the kid go find his shops, I’m sure we can track him down if he gets lost. It’s not like he can’t radio in for assistance. He’s a baby, but he’s not stupid.” Jane laughed, slapping Grunt on the back in a friendly manner, causing the krogan to grin. “If you’re really worried, John, then once my meeting is done, I can escort him around.” As the words left her lips, the change in Shepard was immediate. His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, his attention completely upon his sister.
“What are your plans? Who are you meeting with?” Shepard asked, his voice light and disinterested in a way that gave away his true curiosity.
“Oh, it’s nothing major, just meeting up with some people I haven’t seen in a long while.” Jane replied airily, as though the answer was nothing of consequence. “It’s nice to be back on the Citadel, it’s been a while since I’ve last been here.” She glanced around, the change of topic readily apparent. After a moment, Garrus couldn’t help but ask.
“It seems like they beefed up security quite a bit, is this new or…?” Garrus trailed off, hoping for an answer. Despite his disgruntlement at Jane’s vague answer before, Shepard chimed in to agree.
“I don’t ever remember seeing this many officers at the docks before. I can’t believe we have to wait in a line to get through security.”
“Yeah, they really upped security after Sovereign’s attack.” Jane replied offhandedly, looking down at her omni-tool. “Not that I think this sort of security is really going to do much about Reaper attacks, but-” Jane cut off, her voice quiet and suddenly serious, “Hm. We have company.”
Everyone froze, glancing around surreptitiously before the nearest ad console sprang to life. The image of a hooded woman appeared, her lips quirked up in a smile.
“Tell me your password, Commander Shepard.” The woman said lightly as though she were playing a fun and entertaining game.
“....Ah!” Shepard seemed to remember something, scrambling to pull up his omni tool. “I know they told me the password, it’s in that email somewhere…” He began scrolling through his old messages hastily.
“Kasumi!” Jane exclaimed happily, a huge smile on her face as she put away her own omni tool. “What are you doing here? Ah, don’t tell me… you must be the thief Cerberus hired for us.”
“Shep, I should have known you’d be tied up in all this. It’s good to see you again, we have so much catching up to do.” With that, the thief leapt off the catwalk above, landing nimbly before them. Standing up, she dusted herself off before nearly squealing as she embraced the red haired infiltrator.
“I see that, uh, you two know each other.” Shepard slowly lowered his omni tool, a look of confusion and mild concern taking up residence upon his face. “How? Exactly?” He glanced between the two of them as they parted.
“We were, er, business partners? I suppose? Back when I was working on Illium for a short stint.” Jane explained quickly before turning back to an amused looking Kasumi. “How have you been? Keeping busy, I’m sure.”
“As always, you know how I like it. Never a dull moment. Especially from now on, I’m guessing. Nothing is ever dull when you’re around. Remember that one time at the club in the Ber’ah District in Nos Astra? Oh man, those poor mercs had no idea what hit them, I bet they’re still probably reeling. They sure could dance, though, am I right? I remember you having a good time.” Kasumi’s voice seemed laced with double meaning, and even though he couldn’t see her eyebrows under her hood, Garrus could almost imagine them wiggling at the suggestion. Jane tossed her head back and laughed at the same time Shepard seemed to splutter and cough.
“Anyway,” Kasumi continued, turning back to Shepard, ignoring his incredulous expression, “It’s good to finally meet you, Commander Shepard. Kasumi Goto. I’m a fan. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Has Cerberus filled you in on the mission?” Despite his previous discomposure, he was quick to get back to business.
“Honestly, I’m surprised they didn’t come to see me sooner.” After a moment, she added, “My fault for being hard to find, I guess.” Shepard seemed content with that, giving a short nod.
“Good to have you along, Kasumi. Are you ready to get settled aboard the Normandy?”
“I travel light…” She smirked, turning to look out the window at their ship docked there, “I’ve already slipped my things aboard your ship.” Jane scoffed at that, her expression pained and amused.
“ Of course you did. Should have guessed.” She chuckled, crossing her arms, which caused Kasumi to smile sweetly at her before turning back to Shepard.
“I’m really glad you’re helping me out with the heist.” With a grin, she continued, “Can’t wait to see how you look in formal wear.” She gave him a none-too-quick glance up and down, her grin widening. Shepard seemed not to notice, his eyebrows knitting as he considered her words in confusion.
“I have a feeling you know something I don’t.”
“They didn’t tell you? And they call me secretive.” She shifted, her voice growing serious, “I’m looking for my old partner’s greybox. A man named Donovan Hock took it, and I’m planning to get it back.” Shepard seemed to consider her for a moment, weighing her words before he responded.
“If that’s what Cerberus promised you, we’ll get it done.”
“It’ll be fun. And if we’re lucky, you won’t even have to draw your gun.” With that, Kasumi turned and started toward the Normandy’s jetway. “We should probably wrap this up. I’m sure you have lot’s to get done.”
“Wait, Keiji’s greybox? What happened to Keiji?” Jane cut in, her expression confused and concerned. Something in Kasumi’s smile seemed to freeze as it lost its ease, becoming wooden and fixed.
“Let’s catch up later, Shep. See you all on the ship.” Kasumi took a step and suddenly vanished into thin air. With a sigh, Garrus decided he probably had a hint as to the origin of Jane’s impressive tactical cloak.
“Interesting friends you’ve got.” He quipped with an amused smile, causing Jane to turn to him with a half smile and raised brow.
“You’re one to talk. This is one of the most bizarre crews in the galaxy.”
“Yo!” Garrus jumped as he heard Jack yell at them from the security checkpoint, “Shepard! Get your ass over here, it’s our turn!” Garrus realized with surprise that the security line, including Jack and Zaeed, had continued on without them. Jogging forward to join them, the team reunited in time to pass forward into the C-Sec scanner.
As they came to a halt in the cramped room, a series of beams scanned over them with a few small beeps. After a moment, something flashed red.
“Shut it down.” Barked the guard into his com before looking down at his console in concern. “What? Do you seriously think… Yeah. Okay.” He looked back up at Shepard, frustration and contrition warring upon his face. “Sorry for the inconvenience, sir.” He looked down at his console again before doing a double take, his eyes flicking up to land on Jane more than once.
“Is something wrong, Officer?” She asked, her voice carefully leveled and neutral. He looked up at her in something resembling confusion again before replying.
“Er, no, Spe…er, Miss… Shepard.” The officer seemed to nervously stand a little taller. “Our scanners are, uh-” He seemed to swallow, his eyes widening a bit as they darted to Shepard, then back to Jane again before looking back down at his console, “-they seem to think he’s, ah, dead.”
“I’m sure that’s something you guys can fix.” Jane stated firmly, crossing her arms again, her expression unamused.
“I was only mostly dead. Try finding that option on government paperwork.” Shepard added, his voice dry, causing Jane to shoot him an annoyed glare.
“Hah, we need to get that cleared up for you.” The officer stated as he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, refusing to look at Jane. With that, he directed them to a Captain Bailey, who assured them he could fix the problem. After very little work, he looked back up at them.
“Something else you need?” Bailey finally asked not unkindly, “Or can I get back to work?” He glanced over to Jane for a moment, his eyes sharp and inquisitive, causing Shepard to shoot her a questioning look which she appeared not to notice.
“I should be going.” Shepard stated, turning back to Bailey, who nodded.
“You need anything else, let me know.”
“Okay, guys,” Shepard turned to face the group as they stepped out of the C-Sec offices and out into Zakera Ward’s shopping district, “You know where to meet and when, let me know if you run into any trouble, though try to keep your noses out of it if you can.” He got a few chuckles at that.
“Sounds good, I’ll see you guys later.” Jane replied quickly, already heading toward a connecting hallway, her hand lifted in farewell. The group dispersed, but Shepard caught Garrus’ elbow as he turned to leave. “Garrus, hold on a moment.”
“Sure, Shepard, what’s up?” Shepard waited a moment, ensuring no one else was in listening distance before he answered, his voice low.
“I want you to follow Jane.” He hissed, his eyes still tracking her as she began disappearing in the crowd. Garrus nearly choked, coughing before he could reply.
“ What ? Why under the Spirits would you want me to do that?” He asked, his eyes opened wide in surprise as he looked down at the other man.
“Because something doesn’t add up, and I don’t know what it is. Everything with Cerberus, her disappearing every chance she gets, the weird looks she kept getting from the C-Sec officers, all of her odd and interesting acquaintances, I don’t know. My gut feeling is that there’s something she’s not telling me, and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
“Shepard, I think this might cross a line.” Garrus pointed out slowly, stamping down on the sick feeling growing in his stomach. “Why are you asking me to do this?” Shepard looked back at Garrus, his expression bordering chagrin.
“Subterfuge is not exactly my forte. I think you’d stand a better chance at not screwing this up, and I need to pick up these supplies before my meeting. Can I count on you for this?” The urgency in Shepard’s voice grew as Jane turned a corner, disappearing. Hesitating, Garrus cursed, frustration growing at being put in a situation that felt doomed no matter what he did.
“Isn’t this a breach of her trust?” He couldn’t keep the accusation out of his voice, but Shepard’s sharp eyes drove into him.
“ Please Garrus. I’m asking you to do me this favor, just this once. ” Shepard pleaded with him, his expression bordering desperation. Garrus was trapped between his desire to capitulate to his commander’s request, and his desire to protect his friend’s privacy. He felt as though he and Jane had made progress in regaining their closeness the past few weeks, in spanning the divide between them, and doing this could do more than ruin that.
And yet… Shepard was right. Garrus had questions about Jane’s peculiar behavior, choices, and actions lately, too. Jane had even hinted that there were things she wasn’t telling them. Shepard’s request was not, perhaps, wholly unreasonable…
“Bah, fine. I don’t like this, but I’ll do my best. Mind you, I don’t think I stand a chance, and I’m throwing you under the bus if she catches me.”
“That’s fine, just go!” Shepard pushed him in the direction Jane had gone, and Garrus hurried after her. He hurried down the hall, turning into the stairwell he’d seen her head into. At the top of the stairs, the hall opened into another part of the shopping district, and just ahead, he could see her red hair standing out amongst the other people coming and going. Keeping his distance as he fought the feeling of bile in the back of his throat, he drew upon years of police work coupled with the tracked he’d done during his time as Archangel.
He tried to keep his head low, attempting to blend in with another group of turians just ahead of him. More than once she seemed to peer around her surreptitiously, and after the third time, the sick anxiety in his stomach started to fade, replaced by a completely different anxiety as Garrus started to think that perhaps Shepard wasn’t too far off the mark. Jane clearly did not want to be followed, and seemed vaguely concerned that she might be. Granted, she was entirely correct to be worried, it turned out, but still…
After a few minutes, she seemed to pick up her pace, changing directions a few times in seemingly random places, pausing for a few moments here and there to peer into windows, apparently interested in what she saw. Each time, she glanced about before returning to her winding path through the shopping district. Garrus felt like he was using every drop of his training and experience just to keep her trail without giving himself away.
Suddenly, she darted forward and into an alley, causing him to curse before hurrying after her. As he turned into the alley, his stomach sank as he saw it was completely empty. Looking around him, he wondered if she’d used her tactical cloak. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he thought back to his training when he’d first joined C-Sec. One of his instructors had told him about the human concept of “gut feelings”, and that it was generally a good feeling to trust them when you weren’t sure what to do.
Making up his mind, he hurried down the alleyway, and wasn’t surprised when it opened up into a hallway, another stairwell leading off in another direction. As his mandibles flicked in annoyance and growing agitation, he let his eyes jump between the hallway and the stairwell. Freezing, he closed his eyes in hopes of hearing some sort of sound that may give him a clue. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the sound of light footsteps hurrying upwards. Darting up the stairs as quietly he could, he wondered if perhaps it would be best if he lost her trail. Then he could tell Shepard he’d done his best without breaching Jane’s privacy. But something kept his feet moving forward.
As he hurried out into an open corridor, he froze and darted back into cover as he saw her materialize back into sight as she darted toward a public transport console.
“Gotcha…” Garrus couldn’t help the upswell of pride as he watched her hop into a skycar and fly off, hurrying over to the same console to hire his own. As he took off, he kept her car in sight as best he could, keeping as much distance between them as possible. She’d always been somewhat of an erratic driver, but at least the traffic patterns throughout the Citadel enforced some amount of regularity and safety. Finally, he watched as she landed the skycar on the Presidium, to his surprise.
Garrus landed his own skycar soon after, and he watched as she beelined to the newly rebuilt embassies, which confused him further. Why would she need to go to the embassies? Maybe she was meeting with Anderson? Jane jumped into a waiting elevator, and as soon as the door closed, Garrus hurried over and pushed the button, hoping the next elevator would arrive soon. As a nearby door opened, he hopped in and hesitated. He had no idea which floor she’d gone to, but thinking about his theory that she was there to meet with Anderson, he hit the floor for the councilor’s offices.
As the door opened, he felt a leap of elation in his chest as he saw her hurrying up a set of stairs. He darted back into the elevator just in time to avoid her as she glanced back for a moment before continuing on. He quickly made his way toward the stairs, slipping up them before coming to a slow, watching Jane as she turned and walked through a door on the left. As soon as the door closed, he started forward again, pausing as he realized which door it was that she’d just entered.
Jane had walked into the Spectre Offices.
Oh.
Oh.
Garrus fought to keep his jaw from popping open as he retreated a few steps back toward the stairs, positioning himself where he could watch for when she left. He knew perfectly well that no one could enter the Spectre Offices unless they were a Spectre, or accompanied by one.
Could Jane really be a Spectre ?
Leaning against the wall, he crossed his arms and hoped he looked casual enough not to draw any unwanted eyes as he stood there, considering. Garrus had no idea what to think as a million questions erupted in his mind. For every old question it answered, it created a hundred more. It was so far outside of what he’d suspected that it was beginning to feel as though he’d had the rug ripped out from under him.
A few minutes into his wait, he pulled out his omni-tool and pretended to be busy to deter attention, settling in for his stakeout. After about ten minutes, Jane left the Spectre Offices and crossed the hall before entering the office belonging to the asari Councilor. The fact that she just opened the door and stepped in without any hesitation or argument suggested to him that she must have been expected, which only gave credence to his suspicion that, somehow, Jane was actually a Spectre.
Moments later, Anderson left his office, also making his way to Tevos’ office. So, she wasn’t meeting with one, but at least two councilors. Probably all of them, if he had to guess. Making his decision, Garrus turned and headed back down the stairs. He parked himself leaning against the wall just around the corner in order to wait for the end of her meeting. There was only one way to get the answers he wanted, and since this appeared to be the only exit…
He settled in to wait. To his surprise, it wasn’t long until she came trotting down the stairs, turning toward the elevators without pause.
“So,” Garrus drawled, his voice full of bravado and disinterest he didn’t feel, “I must admit to being a little surprised.” Jane froze, a sudden tensing of her shoulders the only sign of the surprise he suspected she must be feeling. He remembered Ridgefield had an odd saying, something about a deer and headlights. “How long have you been a-”
“ Shh-! ” She whipped around, shushing him as she looked around feverishly. Taking a moment to breathe, he could see her visually relax before she continued. “I knew someone had tried following me, but I had figured I’d lost them. I’m impressed you kept up. Pissed , mind you. But impressed.” Jane narrowed her eyes dangerously, her voice deceptively calm.
“Don’t avoid the question.” Garrus pushed back off the wall, taking a step closer, his own frustration and anxiety ballooning to fill his chest with the anger that had been his old friend the past few weeks. She held her ground, crossing her arms.
“What makes you think you deserve an answer after this?” She took a step toward him, stopping so that they were nearly toe to toe, looking up to glare up at him with flashing eyes, hard as steel. The tension between them pricked like electricity. “Why did you follow me? Just felt like pretending to be a cop again? Felt like tailing me like some sort of perp? Do you not trust me or something?” Even with the flat, single layer of human speech, the lack of subvocal levels, he could hear the suppressed anger, disappointment, and accusation hiding in the words.
“The Commander asked me to.” The sharp words seemed to hit her over the head like a brick, her eyes going wide as her arms fell to her sides. Her eyebrows came together not in anger but in hurt at the revelation. Taking a deep breath, he remembered vividly her accusation that he’d been lashing out at her, and he forced himself to find a scrap of calm, moderating his voice in hopes of softening the blow. “He’s suspicious because you won’t talk about why you’re with Cerberus, and honestly, I was confused by it, too. But now there’s this .” Garrus gestured back toward the offices. “Why won’t you just tell him what you’re up to? Do you not trust him ?” After a moment, he added quietly, “Or me?” Jane seemed to consider him for a long moment before turning and walking away.
Garrus felt himself deflate, disappointment and despair nibbling at him until she paused, turning back to him. With a quick toss of her head, she gestured for him to follow, her eyes seeming to scream ‘Well? Hurry up!’. His heart leapt and he hurried after her as she led him across the waiting room, past the elevators, to a door leading back to another collection of smaller, less consequential offices.
With a flick of her wrist, her omni-tool lighting up, the door’s security was instantly disarmed, allowing them to pass through into the hallway. Jane poked her head into a series of offices, some empty, some not, until she stepped into one, pulling him inside before she shut the door behind them.
“Whose office is this?” Garrus asked, examining the room as Jane ran her omni tool over the console quickly before entering a command to shutter the office’s windows. As the windows clouded over, she pulled up some program on his omni-tool before beginning a slow scan of the room.
“Some junior under secretary, it doesn’t matter.” She replied offhandedly as she focused on her work, and Garrus could help but smile bemusedly. The fact that she felt confident enough to waltz into some random person’s office and take it over without fearing repercussions just added yet more support to his earlier suspicions.
“What is this all about?” Garrus asked, watching as she ducked down to examine something before the desk.
“Ah ha…” Jane breathed out before standing back up, a small device in one hand. Holding her omni tool up to it for a moment, she looked it over before dropping it to the ground, crushing it under her boot.
“What what that ?”
“Cerberus.” Was her only response as she sighed, looking down at the debris before her. She went back to scanning for a few more minutes. Finally, she closed down her omni tool before bringing her hands up to face, scrubbing at her eyes tiredly. “Sorry about that, I have to be careful, else it’s my neck on the line.” Looking back down at the debris, she continued. “ That was a Cerberus bug, I imagine they have them planted all over around here. I thought they were doing regular scans for them and their like, but clearly not well enough.” Garrus felt his eyes widen, looking down at the destroyed electronic bug.
“Spirits. I didn’t realize it was this bad even on the Citadel.” He breathed, his eyes darting around the room anxiously, causing Jane to scoff.
“The Citadel is no safer than Omega. Just cleaner.” She growled, and Garrus couldn’t argue with that. “Look, Garrus… I’m sorry I haven’t been entirely honest with you or John.” She sighed, leaning back against the desk, crossing her ankles before her. “Just… Please bear with me. I’ll try and tell you everything I can, it’s a bit of a long story.”
“Just start from the beginning. I’m listening.” Garrus stated encouragingly, his voice gentle, and she smiled dully before taking a deep breath.
“It started a few months after the memorial service.” Jane started, closing her eyes as though she were remembering the scene in detail, “I got a summons from Anderson asking me to come to the Citadel for a meeting…”
Notes:
Thank you very much thelordofdarkreunion for agreeing to become my second beta reader! You should check out their story, it is very well written and features our favorite quarian.
Thank you, as always, to my other beta reader, Zwober, and to all my readers! I love responding to your comments and always welcome your thoughts, questions, and critiques.
Chapter 33: Part 2: Chapter 9
Summary:
In which Garrus is a smooth talker.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 9
Lazarus Research Station, 1.5 Months Ago
In the usual manner of intense firefights, time seemed to have no meaning as Jane fought her way through the burning research station, mechs going haywire left and right. They seemed to have been reprogrammed to attack anything on sight and Jane growled in disgust that she’d gotten there too late to put a stop to whatever Wilson had planned. She supposed her message to Miranda Lawson must not have gone through after all, or perhaps it’d been too little, too late.
So she fought her way through the station, room by room, mech by mech, ignoring the cowering soldiers as she searched for…
“Jane?!” She froze, cold sweat breaking across her forehead at the eerily familiar voice, the voice she heard in her dreams, the voice she heard in her nightmares. Slowly, haltingly, she turned around, her eyes going wide as they landed on a sight that should have been impossible . “What are you doing here?”
“ John ?” The name escaped her in an airy gasp, her heart thudding in her ears as the three men lowered their weapons, her focus solely on the man in the middle. The man with close cropped dark hair, warm light eyes. Her brother’s eyes. Her gun fell to her side as her arms went slack, her shoulders slumping as reality hit her over the head like a truck.
Either she was seeing a ghost, she’d gone insane, or they’d really done it . They’d really brought her brother back from the dead. He’d been spaced, burned up in the atmosphere over Alchera, and she’d heard his last moments herself as he’d sacrificed himself to save Joker aboard the crumbling Normandy.
And yet, there he was. Standing before her. Alive .
Or perhaps she had gone insane. Probably more likely, there was no way this could be what it looked like. Whoever this was, her brother was dead . Nothing was going to change that, she’d accepted that long ago.
John took a step toward her, faltering for a moment as the station shook in the wake of an explosion somewhere, and Jane’s arm shot up, her sidearm trained upon his chest.
“State your name.” Her hard voice quavered, tears blurring her vision as she glared at the man wearing her brother’s face, and despite the quiver in her arm, her gun remained still and level. He slowly raised both his hands, his face open and surprised.
“Commander John Shepard, Alliance Navy. Jane, you know me.” His voice was calm and soothing as though he were speaking to a scared animal. “I don’t really understand what’s going on here, but you have to believe me. It’s really me.” Jane remained silent, her mind racing and yet nearly completely silent except for a far off ringing that sounded mildly like panic. She had thought she’d been ready for whatever it was she was going to find on this base. Clearly not.
“He’s telling the truth. He really is Commander Shepard.” The dark skinned man stated as he stepped forward next to John as he also raised his hands up in a sign of peace. The other man remained behind them, limping slightly from a leg injury, his face crinkled in pain and fear. Jane’s eyes flicked between all three of them, the ringing in her ears growing in pitch until it seemed almost all consuming. John seemed to sense her deteriorating state, taking a slow half step toward her.
“Jane, it’s really me.” He stated slowly, his voice firm but gentle, “Please lower your weapon, we’ll talk this through.” John took another step forward, causing Jane’s eyes to widen as she took a step back.
“Stay back!” Her voice cracked, her arm threatening to shake as her vision started to tunnel, her breathing becoming quick and shallow.
“Jane. Do you remember that time when we were kids, I was probably about 10, you were maybe 8? We’d been scavenging out in the old abandoned power plant that day, and you’d fallen and skinned your knee pretty badly.” Slowly, Jane began to lower her weapon, the shaking in her arms beginning to lessen as the words washed over her, the familiar memory coming back hesitantly. “I’d used strips from my shirt to bandage it as best I could, but you could barely walk on it. So I carried you on my back all the way home.” John had started walking toward her, stopping just before her as her weapon finally fell to her side. “You cried for like an hour, but I kept cracking corny jokes trying to make you laugh, and we were both laughing like idiots by the time we got back to the crew. Do you remember that?”
She did remember it. It was one of her favorite memories from her early childhood, one that she’d cherished the past two years since John had died. Proof that he’d loved her, that he’d done his best to take care of her when no one else would.
“John?” Jane asked again, this time hope swelling in her voice as it quavered. He nodded and her tears finally broke, trickling down her cheeks and she crashed into him, bringing her arms up around him, holding him close as he wrapped his arms around her. “Oh my god, John, you’re really alive! How? I didn’t want to let myself hope, but how?”
“I don’t honestly know, but we have to get out of here. There will be time to figure it all out later.” After another moment, they pulled apart and she quickly wiped her tears away, looking up to see him doing the same.
“I came here on a shuttle, we can use it to get out of here.” With nothing more than a nod, the small group turned and began making their way back to the docking bay.
Despite only having four people aboard, the shuttle leaving the Lazarus Research Station seemed oddly cramped. Jane decided it was a mixture of the anxiety, confusion, and awkwardness radiating off each of them. When added to her own emotional struggle with seeing the person who seemed to be her brother back from the goddamn dead , well…
That wasn’t even mentioning the elephant in the room that was Miranda’s sudden execution of the man who had apparently been the very Wilson Jane had warned her about. The message which, to Jane’s relief, had gone through, just not in time to prevent the near destruction of the base.
But John, if that’s who he truly was, was safe. And that was what mattered.
Then came the questions for John, the personal history review, and the discomfort aboard the shuttle continued to increase. Miranda and Jacob seemed decent enough folks, for Cerberus operatives at least, and from what Jane could see they meant John no harm. In fact, Miranda seemed to have spent a great deal of time and effort on the Lazarus project, so her investment in John’s well being seemed fairly large.
But Jane couldn’t stop the voice in the back of her head that kept asking: What might Miranda have done to tamper with John during ‘reconstruction’? Had the Illusive Man had some sort of chip installed to control him? Was he bugged? Had they altered who he was or what he remembered? He seemed fairly genuine, but it was too soon to tell. And the doubt was there in her mind like a rot, slowly creeping up around the joy, silently strangling it.
Despite her growing concerns, Jane was determined not to leave John’s side as they arrived back on the station she’d left behind in a hurry not long before. Which, of course, made it infuriating when John was sent off with Miranda and Jacob to investigate the colony of Freedom’s Progress without her. She was left cooling her feet and gnashing her teeth under guard, waiting for them to return and for whatever verdict the Illusive Man deemed appropriate for her. Apparently, her actions leading up to her arrival on Lazarus Research Station were suspect, and she honestly couldn’t blame them for being concerned, all things considered.
Which was how she found herself sitting in the cafeteria, her guard sitting a table away, trying and failing to read something on a datapad that was completely unable to catch her interest. All she could think about was the whirlwind events leading up to the discovery of her dead brother in the hands of Cerberus. It seemed too surreal to be too, and yet-
“Shepard? Jane Shepard?” Her eyes snapped up to see a familiar limping man holding a tray of rations, his eyes opened wide in surprise. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised given the briefing I had last night. It’s good to see you!” Joker exclaimed cheerfully as he placed his tray on the table and carefully sat down across from her.
“Joker? What are you doing here?” Jane asked, her face betraying her confusion as much as her voice. Joker raised an eyebrow even as he grinned.
“Jeez, here I was thinking you’d be happy to see me!” He muttered sarcastically, and had she not been so confused, she might have rolled her eyes like old times.
“Seriously, Joker. You joined Cerberus ? You know what kind of organization they are, you know what they’re capable of.” Jane hissed, nearly growled, her eyebrows knitting as she placed her datapad down, forgotten. Joker’s smile melted as he looked at her dryly.
“Oh, because you have room to judge.” Joker stated, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and she had to admit he had her there. She might be there undercover, but he couldn’t know that, not at this point, not here in the heart of the beast. “Look, the Alliance grounded me after the Normandy was destroyed and I wouldn’t shut up about the Reapers. Cerberus offered to let me fly, and they pay a whole helluva lot better than the Alliance. I’m not proud, but I’m not going to spend the rest of my life rotting on the ground.” He spat, his lip curled up in a frustrated sneer. After a moment, he continued in a more sedate voice. “Plus, with a mission like this, how could I say no? I grew up on a colony, I’m not going to sit on my ass while they’re being snatched up one by one.”
Ah, there it was again, the issue with the colonies. Jane had to admit, she had heard whispers the past few weeks, but she’d had other, more pressing issues on her mind. Like her dead brother being resurrected . But John was off at that moment investigating a kidnapped colony, and Jane had to admit, it was suspicious and terrifying to think about.
“But I can’t believe it, honestly. The Commander, alive again?” Joker shook his head, disbelief and hope warring on his face. “Guess I’ll just have to see him with my own eyes. They just finished showing me around the new ship, and it’s something else. If he really is alive, he’s going to love it. And clearly they are building the team specifically for him.” He gestured to Jane, who found herself tilting her head slightly in continued confusion.
“What… are you talking about?” Jane asked slowly, the dots not connecting in her mind. She was clearly missing a good deal of information, which was mildly infuriating given what she’d been up to the past few months.
“Uh, the new ship?” He said by way of explanation, as though it should have been obvious. “The one that is pretty much the old Normandy but way bigger and muuuch fancier? Probably cost them a boat load to build. I’m going to get to fly it as soon as the Commander is ready to take command. That’s what they have you here for, isn’t it? To be on his team?” They sat there, staring each other down as the silence dragged on.
“You’ll have to excuse me, Joker. I should go.” With that, Jane stood up and marched out of the room, her guard following in her wake.
“ Thank you for joining me, Shepard. ” The Illusive Man murmured from his chair, his throne , before puffing on his cigarette slowly. Jane stood tall, her feet planted firmly, her hands held behind her back as she nodded, attempting not to let the strangeness of the hologram show on her face.
“Of course.” She replied as he stared her down, making her skin crawl as she waited for him to speak.
“ You overstepped your bounds when you hacked into the system to contact Lawson and discover the location of Lazarus Research Station. I don’t know what you thought you were doing or why, but I don’t like my operatives breaking into classified data uninvited. ” The cold snap in his voice made her stand up straighter, her fists clenching as she forced herself to prevent a sneer from forming on her lips.
“Of course, sir.” Jane repeated, but refused to drop her eyes, feeling her face harden in pinched anger at the reprimand. “It won’t happen again, sir.”
“ It’d better not. If you hadn’t played a part in preventing Wilson from destroying all the work and investment put into the Lazarus Project, you’d be facing serious consequences right now. As it is, I’m on the fence as to what to do with you.” The Illusive Man glanced away at one of his data readouts as he knocked a bit of ash off the tip of his cigarette with a seeming lack of concern.
“Put me on John’s team.” Jane all but demanded, squaring her shoulders. He turned to stare at her for a moment before chuckling in a derision.
“ Out of the question. ”
“What? Why?!” Jane broke her stance, stepping forward as she struggled to contain her anger at the dismissal.
“ I could tell you that it’s because you’re a liability. That it’s because you’re hot headed and a bad influence on the Commander. You’re his weakness. If you hadn’t been aboard the Normandy SR1, perhaps he wouldn’t have died during the attack.” Jane drew back at the onslaught, the pain at the last accusation lancing through her like a bullet to the chest. “ But mostly it’s because I don’t trust you.” The words sat between them, heavy with the weight of their deserved truth.
“I’m one of the best damn infiltrators you have and we both know it. John needs the best at his side for this mission, and I’m the best.” Jane stepped forward again, aggressively jabbing a finger in his direction as her eyebrows drew low in a glare. “Plus, I can guess at the game you’re playing, the reason why you have people like Joker on the crew. If you want to try to woo John, convince him that Cerberus is his friend, great. Who better than his own damn sister? If you think you can do better than me, fine, but it’s humanity that’s on the line. Are you willing to play dice with the fate of the galaxy? Because I’m not.”
The Illusive Man considered her for a long moment, his face betraying the thought he gave her words before he gave his cigarette another deep draw, releasing the smoke in a long, slow stream.
“ Fine. I’ll place you on his team.” Jane felt the smirk forming on her lips, but froze as he continued, ice sliding down her spine, “But let me be clear: I’ll be watching your every step, as will EDI and Lawson. They will be reporting everything back to me directly, so you better watch yourself. I will do whatever I must to prevent you or anyone else from ruining this mission. Because you’re right, I’m not going to play dice with the fate of humanity.”
“Miranda, have them set a course for Omega. We need to track down that Doctor Solus if we’re going to stand a chance against the Collectors.” John stated as he flicked through a few screens on his console beside the galaxy map, and Miranda Lawson nodded before heading to speak with the navigators.
Jane leaned against the desk beside her brother’s console, her arms crossed as she glanced down at her nails. She looked up to see John reading a file intently, his expression serious and focused. She couldn’t help the small smile as her chest swelled with bittersweet emotion. She’d never thought to see that expression again, but here they were. She’d mourned him, she’d cried, she’d gotten back up and continued on without him. But here they were.
Reaching down into her pocket, she fingered the small cloth wrapped bundle, traced the star shaped medal within. She’d drop it off in his quarters next time she was up there. It was odd to part with it after all this time. But it was his, afterall. She looked back up at him, and couldn’t help but let her eyes roam his face, taking in all the details she’d thought she’d never see again. He was standing right in front of her, she could reach her hand out and touch him, and yet part of her still couldn’t believe he was actually alive.
“What do you think about this guy from Omega- Archangel? Ever heard of him?” Jane snapped back to reality at her brother’s question, giving her head a small shake. She thought back to her short stint on Omega, racking her brain for any memory that could help.
“...Maybe? I’m not sure. I might have heard the name, but I don’t remember anything specific.”
“Ah well. He seems to have a good skill set, not unlike Garrus back on the SR1.” She saw his eyes drop, disappointment etched across his face, mirroring her own. She felt the usual gut kick whenever she thought of Garrus and the way she’d ended things between them. “Anyway, when we arrive on Omega, would you be willing to take a small team and track him down? I’m not feeling entirely myself yet, and I don’t want to stretch myself too thin. I’d like to rely on you if I can.” Jane felt her chest swell in unexpected faith he put in her, and was once again amazed by the joy of having him back in her life.
“Of course, John. Anything you need, I’m here.”
The Citadel, Present Day
“-and you know most of it from there. It didn’t take too much work for me, Zaeed, and Jacob to convince the mercs to hire us to help take down Archangel. After some good old fashioned sabotage, we got ourselves across the bridge, and the rest is history.” Jane finished from where she was perched on the desk, her elbows resting upon her knees, her fingers steepled before her.
Garrus couldn’t rip his eyes away from her, and as she looked up, their gazes locked. Before him sat humanity’s second Spectre, completely unknown and unrecognized. He thought back to the pomp and circumstance that accompanied Shepard’s ascension to Spectre and the publicity he’d had to endure, all the popular intrigue.
Going over everything she’d recounted, which was a fair amount as the story had been quite long, he couldn’t help but see her in an all new light. Shepard held all sorts of acclaim and accolades due to so many reasons including his actions on Elysium, becoming humanity’s first Spectre, the search for Saren, and everything surrounding the Battle of the Citadel. And yet-
This human woman before him seemed, in his eyes, every bit as amazing and awe inspiring in her own way, her accomplishments just as noteworthy. Then again, perhaps he was somewhat biased.
Garrus coughed when he realized he’d been staring at her and quickly moderated his subvocals.
“Uh, so I suppose congratulations are in order?” He asked somewhat hesitantly, causing her to tilt her head slightly in confusion, something he found mildly endearing.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I imagine, given the circumstances, not many have had the chance to congratulate you on becoming the second human Spectre, all things considered.” Garrus shrugged, causing Jane to chuckle bitterly.
“Yeah, thanks, I guess. Still not sure how I feel about it. I suppose I’d enjoy the freedom if it hadn’t come with so many strings attached.” She must have noticed his confused look, for she clarified, “Hard to enjoy the benefits of the job when I’m caught between keeping my cover with Cerberus and my obligations to the Council. I thought that it was all going to be over with, but my meeting with them just now didn’t really go as I’d hoped.” She looked away, her expression decidedly disgusted. Garrus couldn’t help but remember her opinion on politicians.
“If you explain all of this to Shepard, he’ll understand and stop worrying about you and Cerberus so much. I’m sure it would be a weight off his shoulders to understand where your loyalties lie.” Jane’s face fell into a strange mix of irritation and dismay at the suggestion.
“I want nothing more than to tell him everything I just told you! I thought that once I uncovered the purpose of the Lazarus Project that my mission would be over and I could stop lying and focus on the Reapers alongside John. But now the Council wants me to remain undercover in order to keep tabs on Cerberus, this mission, and John. The goddamn Council outright forbade me from telling him about any of it!” Jane exclaimed as she ran her fingers through her bangs, brushing them out of her face angrily before jumping down off the desk, pacing across the room.
“What? Why?” Garrus asked, shock reverberating through his subvocals as he stood to follow her.
“It’s all my fault. They read my reports and now they’re concerned that he might not actually be John Shepard, or that he’s been tampered with during the reconstruction process, or something like that.” Jane paused as she stared into the fogged window aimlessly. “They’re worried he might be some sort of Cerberus pawn now.” Her voice had a quiet, faraway quality, as though she were somewhere else entirely. Garrus came to stand just behind her and hesitantly lifted a hand to place it lightly upon her shoulder.
“That’s not your fault, Jane. You did your job to the best of your ability. You couldn’t have known they would come to that conclusion.” He said gently, but she turned slightly, her expression pained and almost guilty looking. “What’s wrong?”
“If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t know if I actually would tell him everything yet even if the council hadn’t told me not to.” Her voice was quiet, the admission barely passing her lips as though it physically hurt to rip the words out of her chest. His own chest ached at the raw vulnerability he saw in her eyes as she looked up at him. He remembered the old interrogation tactic of using silence to encourage someone to continue, and after a moment, she did. “Garrus, what if they’re right? What if it’s really not John? Or what if they really did tamper with him somehow?” She paused, her eyes dropping as she continued, “What if he’s just some sort of clone? He seems to remember things only John could know, but I can’t shut out the voice that keeps telling me it’s not him, that my brother died- ”
“Jane.” Garrus stated firmly, causing her eyes to lift back up to his as his hand gripped her shoulder firmly. “I might not know him as well as you, but I’m fairly positive he is really John Shepard.” Her eyes darted between his as they seemed to delve into him in search of answers.
“How can you be so sure? How can you be so confident? Miranda says they wanted him to be as close to his true self as possible, and that the Illusive Man refused to let her put a chip in him, but I trust her substantially less than I could throw her. There’s something different about John, he’s not the same as he used to be. Like that stunt he pulled with the guards on Purgatory.”
“Honestly, I don’t know. It’s just a feeling, but don’t think Cerberus tampered with him. I think what you’re sensing is just him dealing with the trauma of what he experienced. Just like the rest of us. He died . You don’t walk away from that without baggage.” Jane continued to watch him for a moment before she seemed to relax, a small, enigmatic smile gracing her lips.
“He’s not the only one who’s changed.” She murmured quietly and Garrus opened his mouth to question her, but she turned to face him completely, taking a half step backwards as she crossed her arms. “I’ll give it some thought. Thanks, Garrus, for this. It was still kind of a dick move to follow me here, but maybe it was for the best. Maybe I’ll work with Kasumi to figure out how to deafen EDI in the Port Observation Deck so we can have a safe place to talk on the Normandy, too.”
“That’d be nice.” Was all Garrus could manage as he felt his face flush slightly at the warmth of the smile she was directing at him. He coughed, slightly panicked at what to say next.
“Let’s get out of here before we draw attention to ourselves.” Jane gestured him to the door, stopping to enter a command into the console to unshutter the windows before leaving the small office.
As they made their way out of the embassies, Garrus felt like a weight was melting off his shoulders as they continued to laugh and chat over inconsequential topics. It was as if the final barrier between them had shattered, leaving them as close as they’d been back before the attack upon the original Normandy, if not closer. It was like having his old friend back again, as though she hadn’t truly been present until now. It felt as though the smile on his face was permanent, as though nothing could destroy the light feeling in his chest as they made their way through the Presidium.
“-and Jenkins really had no idea what he was getting himself into. Within moments of starting the match, I’d tossed him like halfway across the room. When he finally managed to get to his feet, he threw his hands up in the air and whooped like he’d just gotten off a roller coaster.” Jane chuckled as they reminisced about their days aboard the SR1 and Garrus couldn’t help but smirk.
“Good to hear I’m not the only one you can toss about like a ragdoll.” He offered, tucking his hands in his pockets as they strolled across a bridge crossing over one of the many lakes.
“Ah, but no one is quite as fun to manhandle as you, Big Guy.” Jane grinned as she shot him a side eye, causing him to scoff goodnaturedly even as he felt his heart thud at the words.
“You might have had your way with me back then,” He ventured, causing her to lift an eyebrow in amusement, “But we both know the field is a little more evenly matched these days.”
“Is that so? Sounds like a challenge.” Her voice dropped at that, gaining a huskiness that it’d lacked before, and he glanced back at her to see her looking up at him with a sly grin and heavily lidded eyes that sparkled with amusement. Garrus swallowed, lifting a hand to fiddle with one of his shirt’s buckles as he looked away again, cursing his nerves.
He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with her, but his mind drifted back to the meeting he’d had scheduled soon with one of his old contacts regarding tracking down Sidonis. He looked back at Jane, who was watching him curiously, a weighing look in her eyes.
Screw it , he thought.
“How about we go pick up something to eat? My treat.” He blurted out suddenly, causing her eyebrows to jump in surprise. Her grin was back in a moment, her eyes continuing to sparkle with undisguised mirth.
“Garrus Vakarian, are you asking me out on a date ?” Jane asked in mock disbelief, holding a hand up to her chest in exaggerated surprise. His heart jumped into his chest at her words, causing him to backpedal, despite her good natured response.
“I, er, I just meant- You know, we should take advantage of being on the Citadel, appreciate some food that doesn’t have to be rehydrated before being eaten. I didn’t mean to imply- I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Garrus spouted in a rush, his eyes darting to her and away as he lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. She laughed before stopping him with a hand on his arm.
“Whoa! Consider me seduced, smooth talker. Now shut up and stop worrying. Lunch sounds great, I’m actually pretty starving.” Jane stepped back, shoving her hands in her pockets, her grin relaxing into a pleased smile that made something in Garrus’ stomach do a backflip.
“Well, okay then. I know a nice place not too far from here, caters to both dextro and levo, so it should be fine for both of us.” Garrug offered, gesturing a little further on.
“Lead the way, then.”
Which was how he found himself seated across from Jane at what she ensured him was a “cute little cafe” overlooking the water, watching as a cool breeze ruffled her hair. As she looked down at the menu, she absently lifted a hand to tuck the stray lock of hair behind her ear, and Garrus caught himself staring. He tore his eyes away, looking around at their fellow patrons to distract himself.
With a sinking sensation, he noticed the two people sitting at the table next to them, both reaching across the table to hold hands as they lovingly gazed into each other’s eyes. Looking over at the next table over, he saw another couple. In fact, a good deal of the tables seemed to be filled with couples, and Garrus couldn’t stop himself from swallowing nervously as he looked back to find Jane looking back at him. Suddenly, she yawned before stretching her arms up over her head casually.
“My god, it feels good to have all of that off my chest. I haven’t been able to open up to anyone in ages. It was good to talk about even if I technically shouldn’t have.” She leaned her elbows onto the table before her, resting her chin on her interwoven fingers as she glanced out over the water.
“Yeah, it’s honestly a relief,” Garrus admitted quietly, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair slightly, “I couldn’t figure out why you’d join Cer-” He cut himself off as she shot a hard look at him, “Well, you know. Makes a lot more sense now.” Her eyes softened at that and her teasing smile returned.
“Oh, you know me.” Jane drawled slowly as he lifted his drink up to take a sip. She continued after a minute, “I just love dominating aliens.” He choked, barely managing to not spit his drink out. His coughs transitioned into laughter as she grinned and he shook his head.
It wasn’t long till they were placing their order, but when he noticed the interested and lingering looks their server directed at them, he wondered if they really looked as much like a couple as those at the tables around them.
Is this what it would be like? If they were together, more than just a casual fling? He’d probably spent more than a healthy amount of time imagining all sorts of things between him and Jane over the years. The fact that they were different species had really only factored into his daydreams in the physical aspect of things, but he supposed it went a lot further than that. Human and turian couples were pretty rare, particularly ones in open romantic relationships.
Shaking his head, he returned his focus to Jane, deciding not to think about it. Who knew the next time he’d have a chance like this? He was determined to fix this memory in his mind. Regardless, it seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, and before he knew it, he was paying their bill and they were leaving.
He was determined to track down his contacts and get what information he could out of them, hopefully set some of them on the trail to track down Sidonis. But he was loath to let go of this time with her and the connection they had begun to reestablish. As they left the cafe, he paused, turning to face Jane.
“I have some people I need to meet up with first, but will you be heading to the Dark Star Lounge with everyone else this evening?” Garrus asked tentatively, hoping his voice didn’t sound too eager.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He grinned at her response before double checking the readout on his visor. His mandibles widened, his teeth showing as his smile gained a somewhat feral gleam.
-Kill Count-
[GV: 276]
[JS: 273]
“I should hope not, as I believe the tables seemed to finally be turning. Time for you to pay up.” Garrus chuckled as Jane rolled her eyes good naturedly, groaning as she made her way toward a nearby public transport console.
“Ugh, so you did notice. I was hoping if I didn’t say anything, you might let it slip your mind. Ah well, can’t win ‘em all, I suppose. But next time, you’ll be buying again, so don’t get used to it.” She rolled her shoulder in an apparently unconcerned manner before glancing at him over her shoulder with a mixture of amusement and challenge.
“Ha. You’re just not used to being beaten for once. Don’t like not being the one on top for once?” He taunted, crossing his arms over his chest, enjoying having a moment to gloat.
“Don’t get cocky, Vakarian.” Jane laughed as her cab arrived and she opened the door. “I don’t give up without a fight.” With that, she winked before disappearing into the vehicle, closing the door behind herself and leaving Garrus feeling oddly light headed as though the last few hours had been some sort of dream.
Chapter 34: Part 2: Interlude
Summary:
In which John has a much deserved drink.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Interlude
The Citadel
As John Shepard stepped into the Dark Star Lounge, he was immediately met by a series of voices calling out to him. He looked up and smiled as he spotted the corner of the lounge that had been taken over by the Normandy crew. The ship and crew might be different, but some things never changed. With a small wave, he moved over to the bar, picking himself up a drink before heading over to one of the tables to begin making the rounds.
Checking in with each small group of crew members, John moved from table to table. Eventually, he caught sight of where Jane and Garrus stood off to the side, their heads together as they chatted and laughed quietly. Garrus said something, causing Jane to chuckle and lightly punch his shoulder, to which Garrus replied, smiling, with something that made her shake her head and roll her eyes. It was good to see those two getting along well again. They’d always been fast friends.
He watched as Jane grinned up at Garrus, and John had to sigh. He could see the signs, Jane had always been easy to read. But she was barking up the wrong tree and hopefully Garrus would let her down easy.
Stepping up to them, he clapped Garrus on the shoulder, causing them both to look over at him.
“Shepard, good to see you.” The turian stated, nodding his head in greeting.
“Hey you two, having a good time?” John asked, but before they could reply, he continued, “Mind if I borrow Garrus for a moment?” Jane shrugged, taking a sip of her drink before moving to sit at a table nearby, joining the conversation there. John led Garrus a short ways away.
“So? What did you learn? Were you able to track her?” He asked quietly, glancing around to make sure no one was close enough to overheard them. Garrus shifted awkwardly at that, taking a sip of his drink before looking down, clearly uncomfortable.
“Er, yes and no.” Garrus replied, glancing away as he lifted a hand up to rub his neck. “I was able to follow her to the Presidium, but lost her soon afterwards. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to learn anything to help.” He said quietly as he shifted from foot to foot with a nervous look. John sighed, taking a sip of his own drink and wincing as it burned.
“It’s okay, thanks for giving it your best effort. I know it probably wasn’t easy, but I appreciate that you tried.” Garrus only seemed to look more uncomfortable at that, and John paused to examine his best friend. Something seemed off about him, but he supposed he might feel bad that he hadn’t been able to keep up with Jane. John almost rolled his eyes, but did his best to restrain himself. The rivalry between the two of them had always been a tad ridiculous. At least it was a friendly one. “Anyway, let’s just have a good time tonight, we can talk more about it later. How about I buy you another drink as thanks for your effort?” At that, Garrus grinned widely, holding up his current drink.
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that. Jane has to buy all my drinks tonight, so I’m set. Thanks, though.” The turian drawled, clearly amused. John did roll his eyes at that.
“Jesus, are you guys still doing that? You two are ridiculous.” When they made their way back to the crew, Jane was hurrying over from the bar, a new drink for herself in one hand and a bright green drink in the other. She nearly slammed it down in front of Grunt, who eyed it with interest. John’s eyes went wide as he hurried over to join them.
“Whoa, whoa there, what are you giving him? I don’t know if it’s a good idea for him to have anything too strong to drink, he’s still young.” John stated as he arrived, causing Jane to scoff as she fell back into her chair, nearly sloshing her drink in the process.
“Oh, come on, John. Don’t be a buzzkill. Of course he can have a drink, he’s a goddamn krogan. He was born being able to hold his liquor, ryncol is like a way of life for them. Let the kid have a good time.” Jane replied before tossing back half her drink and leaning back in her chair, clearly unconcerned. John glared at her before snatching up the drink.
“Jane, he was born like a week ago. It’s too soon for him to drink things like this. Sorry Grunt, maybe when you’re older.”
“Aww man, that’s not fair.” Grunt grumbled, snatching halfheartedly at the drink as John pulled it out of his reach.
“I’ll go get you something more appropriate. Hold on a moment.” John stated as he moved back toward the bar, completely missing as Jane surreptitiously passed the rest of her drink to the grinning krogan. As John made his way back to the group, he put a more suitable soft drink down in front of a disgruntled looking Grunt before sitting down next to Joker.
“Surprised to see you here, Joker. Pleased, though.” John stated as he took a sip of his drinking.
“Ugh, I regret it already. I should be back on the ship making sure EDI isn’t messing with it while I’m gone.” John couldn’t help but shoot Joker an amused look.
“Seriously, I don’t think EDI is going to do anything to the ship.”
“That’s what it wants us to think.” Joker glared at him, pulling up his omni-tool. “I swear to god, machine , if there is so much as a hair out of place on my baby when I get back-”
“ Being a nonorganic structure, the Normandy is incapable of growing hair, fur, or any other keratin structures, Mr. Moreau.” Came EDI’s reply through his com, causing Joker to growl and John to chuckle.
“How about I just leave you two to it, then.” He stated as he stood up again, completely unnoticed by Joker, who was entirely focused on growling a reply into his com. Looking up, he saw Jane back at the bar, receiving yet another glass of ryncol. John hurried to intercept her as she made her way back toward Grunt, and snatched the glass out of her hand.
“Hey!” She yelped, glaring up at him without the decency to look abashed. From the flush to her cheeks, he could tell she’d had a few drinks already, so he really probably should set realistic expectations for her decision making ability.
“Jane, how many times do I-” At that moment, John looked up to see a pissed off looking Jack all but stomping into the lounge, her ever present sneer plastered upon her face. While the room didn’t exactly go quiet at her entrance, John still got the impression that everyone had dropped their conversations to marvel at the unexpected appearance.
“Jack!” Jane called out cheerfully, snatching the glass of ryncol back out of John’s hand, “Good of you to join us! Here, have a drink!” With that, she took a few steps forward, holding the glass of green liquid out to Jack, who stared at her as though waiting for the punch line of the joke to fall. Jane met her gaze with a heavy lidded smile, not quite a challenge.
In a flash, Jack snatched the glass out of her hand and downed it with nothing more than a shake of her head. Jane grinned at her without a word.
“You’re okay, Shepard. Still a fucking bitch, but hey. I can respect that.” With that, the two of them made their way back to the bar to order another round, and John didn’t know whether to feel amazed, exasperated, or exhausted. Maybe some mixture of the three.
After a moment, Jane turned her head to meet his eye, flashing him a small smile before turning back to clap Jack on the back, causing the other woman to glare and shove her off, only succeeding in making Jane laugh before gesturing to the barkeeper. John couldn’t help but laugh, wondering if this was Jane’s apology to him for her behavior toward Jack recently.
He eventually found his way back to one of the tables the crew had taken over.
“Shepard.” Came Miranda’s stiff greeting before she took a small, careful sip from a drink of her own.
“Miranda.” He returned, taking a moment to lean back in his chair. “Zaeed.” He added after a moment, taking in the man sitting on Miranda’s other side.
“Shepard.” Was the reply, and John couldn’t help but appreciate the silence that followed. As much as he loved his crew, his sister in particular, he really could use a few moments of peace and calm where he didn’t feel like he had to run around putting out fires.
“So Lawson, I hear you’re a pretty good shot.” Zaeed piped up, breaking the silence, causing Miranda to roll her eyes without even glancing up at him.
“Ah, here we go…” She muttered, rolling her eyes and taking a more substantial swig from her drink.
“If you ever bother leaving that cave of yours-” The other man started offhandedly, glancing down into his nearly empty glass, causing Miranda to mutter quietly “...You’re one to talk…”. He took the last sip of his drink before continuing, “- we should head over to the shooting range and see if you can put your money where your mouth is.” Miranda took an exaggerated, disdainful sigh before putting her own glass down and turning to glare at the older man.
“Look, Massani, I’m flattered, but not interested.” She stated flatly, her lips a hair away from a sneer. Zaeed stared at her, perplexed for a moment, his eyes slightly glazed and face ruddy enough to match the empty glasses scattering his end of the table. After a moment, he snorted, leaning back and crossing his arms.
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, missy. Bints like you ain’t my type, so don’t get your hopes up. I like my women with half the class and twice the charm, sorry to disappoint.” He thumbed his nose, raising a challenging eyebrow at her. “No, I was just sitting here thinking that you might actually be the sort of broad worth having a halfway decent conversation with, but pardon me if I was wrong.” Miranda stared at him as though she wasn’t quite sure what she was looking at, the words dying on her tongue. She looked as though she weren’t entirely sure if she were being complimented or not. Which, John decided, was fair, as he wasn’t sure either.
Just behind him, John caught a snippet of another conversation.
“EDI, it would be a lot easier to trust you if I could at least look you in the eyes… Not whatever that hologram is that you pretend is your face.” John turned his head slightly to see Joker speaking into his com, his voice slower with the effects of the alcohol, omni-tool lighting up his arm as he leaned forward, leaning his chin into his other hand, resting his elbow upon the table.
“If you feel the need to look me in the eye, you are welcome to address any of the Normandy’s security cameras, as they are one of the many ways I am able to observe and monitor movement aboard the ship. However, I fail to see how this would improve your ability to trust in my abilities and programing, Mr. Moreau.”
“Ugh, you just don’t get it…”
Turning all the way around in his seat with an amused smile, John perused the scene before him as his heart started to fill with affection. He’d struggled at first, given the strange situation he’d found himself upon waking on the research station and then having to grapple with the ramifications of being brought back from the dead. He was still struggling with the nightmares, and just putting on his helmet required deep breathing to prevent anxiety. But as he watched the antics of his crew, a crew he’d never asked for and hadn’t known what to think of at first, he couldn’t help but feel hopeful. It was a good group of men and women, full of potential. He could work with this.
John deadpanned as he watched Jane nearly fall off her seat laughing as Ken and Gabby fought to keep Jenkins from clambering up onto one of the tables, his shirt already half way off. The poor kid was already three sheets to the wind, and seemed to have decided dancing like an asari stripper was the best course of action.
John sighed and took a sip. Full of potential , this lot…
Garrus had to admit, he was having a good evening. It was the first time since joining the Normandy SR2 that he felt like he was truly part of the crew, not just along for the ride. A lot of the Cerberus crew seemed to be opening up and feeling more comfortable around him, allowing for good conversation and company.
He was also probably still riding the high of earlier that afternoon, to be perfectly honest. He felt like he hadn’t stopped smiling since his lunch with Jane. Looking around the room, his eyes landed upon her where she sat, lounging beside Kasumi, drinks in hand as they chatted animatedly. He couldn’t say he was particularly surprised by the friendship, but it was amusing to see Jane engaging in what could possibly be classified as ‘girl talk’. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Jane giggle prior to Kasumi joining the crew.
As though sensing his eyes on them, the thief looked up, grinning as she spotted him. She elbowed Jane, who looked up to see him as well. With a small smile, she brought her drink to her lips with a wink in his direction, causing heat to inch up his neck. Kasumi leaned over to whisper something in her ear, causing Jane to throw her head back as she laughed. After a moment, she leaned in to reply, her smile huge and her cheeks ever so slightly flushed.
Garrus forced himself to look away as he felt a flush creeping up his neck. Thank the spirits it wasn’t as noticeable in turians as it was in humans. He wasn’t sure how they handled the embarrassment of being so easily readable. Then again, he hadn’t always thought of humans as easy to read.
Deciding he needed another drink, he quickly retrieved one, happily putting it on Jane’s tab for once, before finding a seat beside Jacob at a table.
“Hey Vakarian, I’d ask what you’re drinking, but I doubt I’d understand it. Plus, I have a dextro allergy, so it’d probably kill me.” Jacob laughed before gesturing for Garrus to take the seat beside him. They chatted for a few minutes, their drinks slowly disappearing before Garrus suddenly felt a presence at his elbow. Turning, he found Mordin lowering himself into the seat beside him.
“Dr. Solus, wasn’t sure if you’d be joining us. Glad you did.” Jacob welcomed him with a small salute of his drink. “Can I get you something from the bar…?” Mordin shook his head sharply, a half smile on his face.
“No, thank you. Not a big drinker. Hinders the mind. Dulls the senses. Always interesting to study the effects in others, though.” With that, he turned to examine Garrus, his large eyes flicking across his features with increasing interest.
“Is that so?” Garrus raised a brow plate, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, disliking the sudden attention.
“Yes. Been wanting to speak with you, actually. Medical matters. Tonight simply confirmed suspicions.” Mordin leaned back into his seat after a moment, his face somewhat self satisfactory.
“I… see…” Garrus shifted to shoot Jacob a confused look, who simply shrugged, a small amused smile on his face as he took another sip of his drink.
“Different species display different signs of sexual attraction. Many are interestingly similar.” Mordin lifted a finger to his lips in contemplation as he nodded to himself, “Aware mission is dangerous. Different species react differently to stress.”
“Err, I suppose so…” Garrus lifted a finger to idly scratch at his bandage before taking a sip of his drink, a sinking sensation settling in as to where the doctor was going with the conversation. Mordin nodded, glancing across the room quickly before looking back to Garrus, his smile widening.
“Sexual activity normal stress release for humans and turians.” Garrus choked, nearly spitting his drink out for the second time that day. “Still, recommend caution. Warn of chafing. Will also speak with Shepard, Jane Shepard, that is, later.” Mordin continued, seemingly unaware of Garrus’ discomfort.
“I- I’m not sure what you’re getting at.” Though, of course, he knew exactly what Mordin was getting at, and as he caught Jacob hiding his smirk by taking another swig of his drink, Garrus wished he could melt into his chair in mortification.
“Eye dilation, shift in voice moderation, increased heart rate, shift in body language and mirroring. Simply put, hormones. Quite simple, really. Come see me later. She may require analgesic.” Mordin blinked his large eyes, his face completely neutral he continued to verbally murder Garrus. “Chafing.”
“Oh my god…” Jacob muttered, trying and failing to hide his incredulous grin behind a fist, his eyes wide as he nodded his head in feigned interest at the doctor’s words.
“Would also warn that humans are levo-amino based. Ingesting of tissue could provoke allergic reaction. Anaphylactic shock possible. When you come by later, can test for sensitivity if you wish. But perhaps she shouldn’t, ah-” Mordin coughed awkwardly, “-ingest.”
That was it. Garrus was going to die, killed by the most embarrassing conversation of his life. It was somehow ten times worse than his father’s halting attempts at giving him the sex talk when he’d been about to go off to basic training. He leaned his elbows on the table, pressing his face into his hands, wishing desperately that he’d simply cease to exist.
“Thank you. Dr. Solus. Really. Thank you. But I-” Mordin completely ignored him, continuing on about ‘valuable diagrams’, ‘comfortable positions’, ‘erogenous zone overviews’. Garrus could feel himself sinking lower and lower into his chair as the salarian continued.
“-gave EDI electronic relationship aid demonstration vids to use as necessary.” Mordin nodded as his monologue came to a blessed end, prompting Garrus to look up.
“ Thank you, Mordin. Seriously . I can’t possibly think of anything else I might need, so if that’s everything…” Garrus trailed off, his voice dry, nearly a growl, his mandibles held tight to his face as it burned with mortification.
“I think you’ve given him enough to think about for one night, Mordin.” Jacob chimed in, his voice dripping with barely concealed amusement. Mordin looked surprised, but an enigmatic smile spread across his face.
“Of course. Hope you and Shepard enjoy yourselves. You know where to find me should you require additional advice. Personally, find lab work preferable. Less alcohol and mood music required.” With that, the salarian stood up, dusted off his lab coat and walked off, leaving Garrus to groan before downing the rest of his drink.
“That was rough, buddy.” Jacob commiserated, laughing as he slapped Garrus’ shoulder and finished off his own drink. Garrus grunted in reply, unable to bring himself to speak about the event further.
“Can we just pretend this never happened?” Garrus eventually groaned, bringing a hand up to rub at his eyes.
“Sure thing. Don’t even know what conversation you’re talking about.” Jacob replied, trying and failing to hide his grin. They enjoyed a few moments of silence before Jacob brought up a completely unrelated topic for conversation. Garrus couldn’t help but silently thank him for being as good natured about the entire thing as he was.
Perhaps if he drank enough, he could forget the whole night. After a few minutes, he made his way back to the bar, passing Zaeed and Miranda as they chatted animatedly about something or other. He never would have pegged those two as fast friends, but just goes to show what a little alcohol can do for some people.
“EDI, what’s it like to fly? I don’t mean like as a pilot, but to actually fly?” Joker mumbled drunkenly into his omni-tool nearby as he leaned one elbow on the table, slowly sliding dangerously close to the edge.
“ I think it might be best if you cease the ingestion of alcoholic beverages for the evening, as you are most likely above the recommended blood alcohol level for someone in your condition. It may be best to drink a glass of water and find someone to escort you back to the Normandy.”
“Aww, you care about me, don’t you EDI.”
“ My programming requires that I value the lives of all crew members, Mr. Moreau.”
“Uh-huuuh.”
Garrus grinned as he arrived at the bar, leaning on the bartop as he gestured for another drink. At least everyone was having a good time. Perhaps this crew was coming together, afterall.
“Having a good time?” He nearly jumped out of his plates as his head snapped around to see Jane leaning back against the bar beside him, her arms crossed as she surveyed the antics at the tables around them. Garrus turned around to lean back beside her.
“For the most part. Certainly not lacking for scintillating conversation, that’s for sure.” She chuckled at that, shooting him an amused glance, her eyebrow lifted quizzically.
“You looked like you were having a ball with Mordin a minute ago.” Garrus groaned at the reminder, “What were you guys talking about?”
“You don’t want to know.”
A few days after they left the Citadel, they arrived at the planet Bekenstein in the Boltzmann system. John stood in the CIC at his console scrolling through his messages and data readouts, absently tugging at the high collar of his formal attire. While he wasn’t a stranger to formal Alliance dress blues, the suit Kasumi had dressed him in was something alien to him. He felt oddly exposed going into a mission like this, but then again, he’d seen what Kasumi had bought for Jane to wear, and he supposed he shouldn’t complain.
He’d originally been against Jane being roped into helping, but Kasumi had been adamant that she wanted the help of a trained infiltrator as well. If it meant getting the thief 100% on board with their mission, then he supposed he’d allow it. Tugging at his collar again, he tried to convince himself the discomfort was worth it.
“Well, that’s quite an outfit.” John turned around to see Garrus stride out of the elevator, his mandibles flicking in amusement, and John sighed in defeat.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. I think I look pretty suave.” John retorted, grinning as he held his arms out for inspection.
“Huh, well, I’ll have to take your word on it, human fashion is a little odd.” Garrus chuckled, and John was happy to see him looking so much more relaxed than he had since joining the SR2. He’d been worried about Garrus for awhile there, he’d been so closed off and distant, but it seemed like he was finally starting to recover and settle in. He wasn’t quite his old self, but he supposed some of that was the effects of two years passing. No one was quite who they’d been before. He was finally starting to come to terms with that.
He liked the new Garrus, though. Before, he’d been hot headed and single minded, in need of guidance and advice as he attempted to navigate a world he could only see in black and white. He’d grown during the intervening years, maturing into someone who John could see much more as an equal. Garrus had acquired a much more level headed approach and viewpoint that made him an ideal candidate for talking through his plans and ideas. John trusted him, which was worth its weight in gold these days. It was interesting how quickly the turian was settling in at his right hand.
“Bah, well…” John shrugged, returning to scrolling on his console, “Hopefully this little heist won’t be too much trouble and we’ll be back quickly so I can get out of this ridiculous costume.” He muttered, turning to see Garrus chuckle again, his expression amused.
“I don’t know John, I think Kasumi’s taste is pretty spot on. What do you think?” John and Garrus spun to see Jane stepping through the door from the lab, and John felt his eyebrows climb as he took in his sister’s appearance. While he’d seen the small black dress earlier, he hadn’t realized exactly how small and form fitting it would be on her.
He rarely saw his sister wearing anything even remotely feminine or revealing, so it was rather surreal to watch her do a little twirl, lifting her arms a little to display the outfit from all angles before stopping to place her arms on her waist, emphasizing how snuggly the dress hugged her. Her high heels gave her a little extra height than usual and added to the femininity of the outfit. Her hair was swept up in a simple but elegant updo, and though she occasionally wore a little makeup, it seemed more pronounced than usual, bolder.
“Do you think you might need, like… a shawl or a sweater or something? It’s a little low cut, don’t you think?” John suggested, trying to decide if he should pull the protective older brother card or not. Jane scoffed, crossing her arms beneath her breasts, causing John to roll his eyes in exasperation as the pose only served to emphasize them more.
“Of course it is, but that’s the whole point, Dad. ” She jutted out a hip, shifting her weight to one side as she grinned lazily, her eyes shifting to the turian beside him. “What do you think, Garrus? How do I look? Suitable?” John turned to look at Garrus, who’s eyes had gone wide.
“I, er, what?” Garrus quickly glanced between the two Shepards, his mandibles slack as his jaw worked for a moment, no words coming forth. He swallowed, lifting a hand up to fiddle with one of his shirt buckles. “Oh, uh, yeah. You look… good. Yeah, your, uh, hair looks good. And your waist looks… very supportive.”
John stared at the turian, bewildered by the sudden change in his best friend from laidback and smooth to nervous and awkward. He’d been a little awkward at the start of their mission to find Saren, but he’d gotten used to the human crew fast enough and had seemed to loosen up, particularly around Jane and himself. So why was he reverting to floundering all of a sudden?
Then again, he supposed he could understand why Garrus might be uncomfortable regarding certain cultural differences, particularly something so closely related to human sexuality. He’d never had any reason to believe Garrus to be in any way attracted to humans, so of course it would make him uncomfortable. John nodded, deciding that had to be the reason for the turian’s discomfort.
Garrus blinked, his eyes darting between the two of them again before he brought a hand up to rub his neck with evident embarrassment. After a heartbeat, Jane burst out laughing.
“Thanks, I think!” She said between chuckles, her eyes sparkling as she grinned at the turian, who rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms, struggling and failing to hide a smile of his own.
“Look, I’m trying here. If you were a turian, this would be much easier.”
“I dunno, with these shoes, it’s probably the closest I’m ever going to come.” Jane gestured down to the high heeled shoes, twisting one to display it, then the other. Garrus swallowed, his eyes flicking down to the shoes, up her legs, and quickly away as he fiddled with his shirt buckle again.
“I, er, yeah-”
“Okay, okay, Jane, stop giving him a hard time. Leave the poor guy alone. Plus, we need to meet up with Kasumi down in the hangar bay in a matter of minutes. Why don’t you head down there, I’ll be right behind you.” John gestured his sister toward the elevator before he turned back to his console.
As John turned away back toward his console, Jane looked over at the turian shifting his feet uncomfortably as his eyes darted around, unsure of what to look at. Her grin still in place, Jane stepped forward, looping her hand into the crook of Garrus’ elbow, causing him to jump in alarm.
“Whoa there, just a human custom.” Garrus looked down, eyes wide as she settled in next to him, lightly directing them toward the elevator. “It’s only proper to walk a woman to her car. Or shuttle, or whatever.” He slowly nodded, recognition seeming to light behind his eyes. He bent his arm ever so slightly, holding his arm at just the perfect angle to escort her into the elevator, almost the picture perfect gentleman. Jane couldn’t help but wonder as she looked up at him, her smile taking on a lopsided slant of curiosity. Was this something he recognized from human vids, or perhaps he was just a fast learner…?
Garrus looked down at her, for a moment before coughing and looking away again.
“You do look really nice.” He murmured, his voice low and rasping in a way that sent a shiver down her spine. She couldn’t help the pleased flush of her cheeks as she hummed an appreciative tone.
“Thanks. I’m rather a fan of the dress. I think I’ll keep it.” She announced to the small elevator, causing his eyes to dart back to her, lingering a moment longer. He opened his mouth to say something, but seemed to think better of it, closing it with a snap as he looked away again.
“Planning to keep the shoes, too?” She nearly jumped when he did speak up a few moments later. Looking back up at him, she saw his mandibles flick, betraying a small smirk.
“Perhaps. Why the particular interest?” Jane asked, raising an eyebrow as she fought to control her own smile.
“Oh, no reason…” Jane couldn’t help but laugh at that before using her elbow to lightly shove him in the side. Garrus’ eyes went wide and as he coughed awkwardly again, she could see the slight evidence of a flush creeping up the exposed skin of his neck.
“Ah, by the way,” She started, feeling her smile growing into a cheshire grin, “Mordin caught me for a little chat, earlier.” Jane felt him stiffen suddenly, her suspicions confirmed regarding the other night at the bar. “He had some very interesting advice for me!” Garrus groaned, lifting his free hand up to cover his face.
“Just shoot me now.” He groaned, causing her to burst into laughter. The door opened and Jane pulled her arm free, stepping out quickly. Turning to take a few careful steps backwards, she took a moment to smooth her dress over her waist and hip before she responded.
“I told him I had no particular concerns in that department, as I’m well aware that I lack that particular allergy. But he was very generous in his offer of supplies and advice.” Garrus stood in the elevator, gawking at her like a fish, his neck very obviously flushed.
Jane didn’t honestly know what to make of Garrus these days. Sometimes, he obviously wanted nothing more than to be left alone to his work, but other times… Maybe she was reading too far into it, but she could swear she could feel… something … between them. A spark, electric and alive, that should shiver down her spine and nestle deep in her abdomen. But then again, it was so hard to separate her own feelings from those she attributed to him. She knew how she felt, that much had become suddenly and readily apparent to her the moment her eyes had first locked with his in that apartment on Omega.
But him… He’d become so much more difficult to read. Or perhaps she’d never been that astute at it to begin with. She wasn’t sure where she stood with him, and that made her uncharacteristically nervous. The not altogether unpleasant feeling of butterflies in her stomach was not something she had a great deal of experience with.
Regardless of the reason for his reactions, Garrus was very fun to tease. The door began to close suddenly, and she raised a hand to wave, winking at him as he stared at her.
Chapter 35: Part 2: Chapter 10
Summary:
In which Garrus pisses off old friends.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 10
Horizon
One by one they hopped out of the shuttle, feet hitting the hard packed ground with dull thuds. The air was sweltering, the dry heat evidence of a parched summer, with dead and brown grass crunching underfoot as they spread out. Garrus took a deep breath in and could smell the earthy, dusty smell of dried out and dying vegetation around them. Under that was the heavy, acrid smell of ozone, seeming oddly out of place.
Their time on the Citadel and the short period of time thereafter had felt nearly like a dream, a holiday from reality. It had started off a little rocky, but once he and Jane had come to an understanding following his discovery of her Spectre status, he had felt lighter and freer than he had in weeks.
But the second his feet had touched the ground on the colony of Horizon, it was as if reality had come slamming back into him like a storm front; fast, hard, and with a ringing note of inescapable unpredictability.
The empty buildings, the silence, the crackling smell of ozone -and of course the giant Collector ship looming ahead of them- all served as a reminder of what they were up against, the true mission at hand. Until that moment, it had all felt distant; a faraway, indistinct, and abstract enemy that had no true form. He’d been so wrapped up in his search for Sidonis, his grief over his team, and everything to do with Cerberus and Jane.
It felt like reality sending him a wake up call via a slap to the face. They were on a mission to stop the Collectors from kidnapping entire colonies , and it would be, in all likelihood, a suicide mission . Garrus’ mouth went dry as that weight really settled on his shoulders, his eyes darting to the redheaded teammate beside him as his heart sank.
“We’re groundside. Mordin, are you sure these armor upgrades will protect us from the seeker swarms?” Shepard asked, his shotgun already drawn as he gazed about, waiting for the team to assemble around him. Mordin looked down at his omni-tool, checking some data readouts.
“Certainty impossible. But in limited numbers, should confuse detection, make us invisible to swarms.” Mordin replied, looking up from his omni-tool, and hesitated before adding, “In theory.” Miranda’s long suffering stare landed on Mordin, her voice laced with unimpressed anxiety.
“In theory ?”
“Experimental technology! Only test is contact with seeker swarms. Have to test them in person. Should be exciting!” Came Mordin’s chipper reply, and Garrus was positive he could hear multiple sets of eyes rolling. “Shepard. Understand priority is to stop Collectors. However, can’t pass up opportunity to further study and collect samples, if possible.” The salarian shot the Commander a questioning look, causing Shepard to lift a hand to his chin in contemplation. After a moment, he nodded curtly.
“Okay.” Shepard looked across his team before his eyes landed on his sister. “Jane, pick one more and escort Mordin. Keep him safe as he collects the data he needs. We’ll move ahead to confront the Collectors and do what we can to stop them. Understood?” Jane nodded, checking her sniper rifle’s heat sink quickly before looking up, her eyes locking on Garrus with a question in her eyes. Understanding her meaning, Garrus nodded. She looked back to Shepard, nodding.
“Got it. We’ll catch up with you as soon as he’s finished.” With that, Shepard and the rest of the team hurried forward toward the large Collector vessel in the distance. Garrus hefted his assault rifle, his eyes following Mordin’s gaze as he inspected a nearby cluster of buildings which were eerily empty.
Mordin quickly began picking his way through the settlement, careful to duck out of the way to prevent being spotted, and Garrus quickly understood why Shepard made Jane his choice to accompany the salarian doctor. Between the three of them, they silently crept through the buildings without drawing attention to themselves. It helped that the Collectors seemed drawn to Shepard like moths to a flame.
It felt like an eternity of wandering around through empty buildings, avoiding Collectors and husks until they encountered humans that had yet to be packaged up, standing and laying frozen as though trapped in invisible force fields. Their eyes darted wildly as the small group approached them, Mordin with his omni-tool up and scanning immediately.
“Victim appears conscious. Fully aware. Trapped in stasis.” He got up close to one woman’s face, bringing a hand up to stroke his chin. He took a deep breath, releasing it before he continued, “Fascinating.” Jane stopped before one man laying on the ground as though he’d tripped just before being frozen, and nudged him gently with the toe of her boot.
“They’ve been like this a long time.” She murmured before looking up at the Collector vessel darkening the sky. “They’ll probably be back to gather these people up soon, we need to hurry.” Garrus looked back to see Mordin furiously typing into his omni-tool, muttering quietly to himself.
“-No, not biotic in nature. Must be something else. Toxin? Possibly. Will need to take samples, conduct analysis-”
“Huh.” Garrus murmured as he came to a stop before a woman frozen in a position as though she had been running. He watched as her hand seemed to twitch, her head moving ever so slightly. “I think they may be starting to regain movement.”
“Ash!” Garrus’ head shot up and for a moment he’d wondered if his translator had made an error, but then he saw Jane darting forward, falling to her knees beside a familiar woman on the ground in white and red armor. His eyes went wide as he recognized the frozen soldier Jane was leaning over as none other than Ashley Williams. “Garrus, over here!” He hurried over to join Jane, kneeling on Ashley’s other side, watching as her eyes darted between them both, widening slightly in recognition.
“What is she doing here of all places?” Garrus wondered aloud as Jane quickly checked her over for injuries. Ashley’s hand and arm twitched and Jane grabbed it, slowly helping her work the limb loose. “What are the chances that we’d run into her here?”
“I don’t know, hopefully we can ask her soon.” Jane muttered as Mordin continued moving from person to person, his omni-tool aloft as he scanned. Jane and Garrus worked together, slowly assisting Ashley as her body began to loosen up, and pretty soon she was sitting up, working her jaw as though all her muscles had been knotted up.
“What… what are you guys… doing here?” She ground out, her eyes pinched with discomfort as she worked to bend her legs. Jane and Garrus exchanged looks, unsure how much to explain to her. After a moment, Jane took a deep breath before answering.
“We were sent to help protect the colony from the Collectors.” Was all she said, causing Ashley’s eyebrows to jump.
“So you’ve rejoined the Alliance?” Ashley asked before groaning as they shifted her arms over their shoulders, pulling her to stand. Jane’s freehand shot up to finger the N7 insignia on her chest piece, opening her mouth to respond.
“I-”
“Why didn’t you message me, why didn’t you let me know? You completely dropped off the face of the galaxy, Jane.” Jane glanced at Garrus, her face drawn and concerned, and Garrus remembered her mentioning their falling out. “Well, I guess we can catch up later.” She turned to look at Garrus with curiosity clear on her face.
“It’s good to see you, Ashley.”
“You, too, Garrus. Can’t say I’m surprised to see you tagging along with this one.” She gestured toward Jane, her eyebrow lifted. She glanced around at Mordin as she stretched her leg, bending her knees as she took a few stiff steps forward. “So, what’s with the salarian…?”
“He’s been developing defenses against the Collector swarms. He’s gathering data on their stasis paralysis. Ashley, we need to-”
“Wait, seriously?! That’s amazing.” Ashley cut in, her eyes going wide as her eyes snapped back to Mordin.
“Ashley, listen to me. The Collector ship is still here .” Jane’s voice was serious, her patience gone as she firmly grabbed Ashley’s arm to steady her.
“Wait, what ?” Jane gestured behind her to where the ship loomed before them. “ Shit . We need to get down to the defense turrets. If we can get them working, then maybe we can stop them, prevent them from taking anyone else.”
“Defense turrets? Where are they? What’s wrong with them? Maybe I can get them working.” Jane said as she gestured Mordin over.
“They’re over this way, follow me.” Ashley took a few halting steps before her balance seemed to even out, her limbs loosening up faster as she moved. Garrus followed along with Mordin as they hurried between buildings.
The sound of gunfire and the distinct electronic screams of husks loomed as they got closer and closer to the huge vessel. Pretty soon they drew to a halt as the huge defense turrets started firing.
“They’re working! John’s team must have reached them.” Jane exclaimed as they watched the turrets bombard the vessel with shot after shot. Ashley’s head twisted around to face her, her eyes wide and her eyebrows drawn in concern.
“ What did you say? Who-” The ground shook as the Collectors vessel’s engines suddenly ignited, throwing out a massive cloud of exhaust. The sound roared in their ears and they covered themselves as a shockwave slammed into them. As the shaking started to subside, Garrus looked up to see the ship becoming little more than a quickly dissipating speck in the sky, the engines a blinding light pushing it further and further away.
“Crap, we were too late.” Jane cursed, lifting a hand to shield her eyes as she looked up at the ship quickly escaping the atmosphere. “Let’s get down there, regroup and figure out what we need to do next.” With a gesture toward him and Mordin, she turned and started forward.
“Hey, wait up!.” Ashley called out as she followed after them.
It wasn’t long until Jane led them to a clearing between two of the defense turrets, and in the center at the base of some sort of transmitter tower, stood the rest of the ground team, including Shepard.
Shepard, who appeared to be in a heated argument with Kaidan Alenko. As Kaidan stepped forward, getting into Shepard’s face, Jane jerked forward.
“Hey, whoa, whoa!” She darted forward, pushing them apart as she came to stand between them. “What’s going on here?” Jane shot Kaidan a hard look before turning a questioning eye on her brother. Garrus hurried after, coming to a stop beside Shepard, Mordin not far behind.
“Shepard?” Ashley gasped as she came to a stop beside Kaidan, her eyes wide as they searched his face. “I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did.” Shepard tore his eyes away from Kaidan to examine Ashley for a moment before his face seemed to soften slightly, the barest hint of a smile there.
“It’s been too long, Ash. How have you been?” He asked, his voice tight with forced casualness. Garrus felt the tension in the air like a pending thunderstorm, scared to move in case it caused the spark that would ignite it like a bomb. Ashley’s eyes narrowed, her lips falling open as though she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“That’s it ?” She growled, “You show up after two years and act like nothing’s happened?” The hurt in her voice was sharp and real, raw and painful. It echoed the pain Garrus knew they’d all felt after his death. Her eyes jumped to Jane before moving to Garrus and back to Shepard. “Why didn’t you contact me? Us? Why didn’t you let either of us know you were alive?”
“Ash.” Everyone looked to Kaidan as his voice echoed through the courtyard, heavy with barely suppressed anger. “He’s with Cerberus .” Kaidan’s furious glare landed on Garrus before sliding to Jane, his expression shifting to one of despair. “They all are. I didn’t want to believe it, but…” Ashley’s eyes opened wide again as she took in a sharp breath. She took a step back, shaking her head slowly as though she refused to accept it. Kaidan stepped back as well until there was a chasm stretching out between the two groups.
“You’re with Cerberus now?” Ashley’s voice dripped with accusation, her eyes drilling into Shepard before shifting to Jane. “You lied to me. You let me think you were with the Alliance.” She hissed angrily, her eyes narrowing again.
“Ashley, I never said I was with the Alliance again.”
“But Cerberus ?! Jane, how could you?” Kaidan shot at her, venom in his voice, “You were always blind when it came to the Commander. Did you join simply because he did?” His eyes shifted to Garrus, “And Garrus, too.”
“Hey now-” Shepard cut in, his face drawn in consternation, but Ashley cut in over him.
“I can’t believe the reports were true.” Ashley chimed in, her voice bordering outrage. As she explained the Alliance's theory about Cerberus being behind the abductions, Garrus saw Jane’s expression shift to one of confusion. He couldn’t help but wonder how much information the Council was deeming necessary to share with the Alliance. Jane had passed them a great deal of information about Cerberus, the Council at least should know that that theory wasn’t likely.
“How could you turn your back on all of us?” Ashley accused, taking a step closer as she glared at Shepard, her lips drawn in an angry sneer, “You betrayed the Alliance. Betrayed Anderson. You betrayed us.”
“ Shut up , Williams! You don’t understand!” Jane shouted, stepping forward only to have Shepard grab her shoulder, pulling her back beside him again.
“And who’s fault is that? You never open up to anyone , Jane.” Kaidan hissed at her, the hurt evident in his voice. “Why didn’t you tell us he was alive? You let us think he was dead and just disappeared. You turned your back on everything we stood for.” Jane’s eyes went wide, taking a step back as though slapped.
“Kaidan. Ashley. You know me. You know I’d only do this for the right reason.” Shepard opened his arms in a gesture of supplication, trying desperately to help them understand. “You saw it yourself. The Collectors are targeting human colonies. And they’re working with the Reapers.” The word hung heavily in the air as silence reigned in its wake. Ashley and Kaidan turned to share a look before they returned to staring at Shepard.
“I want to believe you, Shepard.” Kaidan finally replied, his voice earnest but hard, and Ashley nodded curtly, “But I don’t trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of the Reapers to manipulate you.”
“It worries me that you do trust them, Shepard. What did they do to you?” Ashley spat with a shake of her head. Jane seemed to jerk where she stood, her back going straight as she took a small, sharp breath in. “What if they’re the ones behind it? What if they’re the ones working with the Collectors?”
“Damn it,” Garrus spoke up, his short temper hitting its limit, “You’re both so focused on Cerberus that you’re ignoring the real threat.”
“Don’t give me that shit, Garrus.” Ashley turned on him, her eyes shooting daggers, “I don’t want to be lectured by you about letting my feelings cloud my judgment.” She looked back to Jane, her expression loaded with meaning that wasn’t lost on him.
“You’re letting how you feel about Cerberus’ history get in the way of the facts.” Shepard spoke up, his voice calm and compassionate, a contrast to those around him. He stepped forward, his face beseeching.
“Maybe.” Kaidan admitted, his eyes narrowing as his lips turned down into a frown, “Or maybe you feel like you owe them because they saved you. Maybe you’re that one who’s not thinking straight.” There was silence, and Garrus could almost hear Jane’s indignation simmering beneath her skin.
“You’ve changed. You all have.” Ashley stated finally, and Kaidan nodded solemnly.
“But we know where our loyalties lie.” He added and Jane jerked forward.
“ You fu-” John’s arm shot out, halting her in her tracks without looking away from the two standing before them. After a moment, Jane took a deep breath before continuing. “I see you won’t listen to reason.” Her words were cold, bordering on patronizing.
“You left the Alliance to join Cerberus. Sounds like you left reason behind a long time ago.” Ashley replied, causing Jane to look away in frustration as she crossed her arms. Now that he knew the truth, Garrus could only imagine how difficult it must be to constantly have that thrown back in her face. He felt second hand indignation on her behalf.
“We need to report back to the Alliance. They can decide if they believe your story or not.” Kaidan said with a sigh, his expression pained as though he hated having to make the decision. He turned, starting toward the settlement, and after shooting them a scathing look, Ashley turned to follow suit.
“I could use people like you on my crew.” Shepard called out after a moment, taking a step after them. “It’ll be just like old times.” Garrus almost felt his heart break for the other man, Shepard was clearly desperate for a sense of normality, his rebirth clearly having felt like having the carpet ripped out from under him.
“No, it won’t.” Kaidan stated firmly, stopping as he turned just enough to look at them over his shoulder. “I’ll never work for Cerberus.” He gazed at them for a moment before closing his eyes and turning away again.
“A leopard can’t change its spots, and Cerberus can’t be trusted.” Ashley muttered as she turned and glanced back as well. “Goodbye, Shepard.”
“Good luck. Be careful.” With that, the two Alliance soldiers turned and left, leaving a perturbed, quiet, and contemplative group behind. Garrus turned to see the ground team standing a few yards back, each exchanging glances with others, no one daring to speak as the two Shepard siblings stood watching Ashley and Kaidan walk away.
Jane lifted a hand to rake through her hair, shoving her bangs out of her face as she turned, her face stoney and fierce. Without warning, she spun and smashed her fist into the nearby transmission tower. When she withdrew her hand, shaking it to dissipate the pain, she left behind a slight dent in the metal.
“Joker,” Shepard activated his com, his voice bitter, “Send a shuttle to pick us up.” He turned to watch as Jane stalked away, fury emanating off her in waves. “I’ve had enough of this colony.”
The days following the events on Horizon were tense, the laid back atmosphere left from their time on the Citadel having evaporated like dew in the harsh afternoon sun. Though he kept to his usual daily rounds of the ship, Shepard had a distant, pensive air, his expression stony and serious in a way that Garrus hadn’t seen since their days chasing Saren. Similarly, Jane seemed to stalk from task to task around the ship like a wounded cat, her hackles up and her expression grim. Much of the crew seemed on eggshells between the two of them, though both were professional enough not to lash out at anyone. Regardless, Garrus had to admit he didn’t enjoy being on the receiving end of a hard look from either Shepard.
He’d felt as though he’d been doing a good job not ruminating over Sidonis up until Horizon. Honestly, it had been hard to dwell on unpleasant things when his head was full of more pleasant thoughts, namely a certain red haired, green eyed human. But after the run in with Ashley and Kaidan, both Shepards had seemed less up for casual chats, leaving him alone with his increasingly negative thoughts.
So when they arrived on Tuchanka, it was a welcome distraction to go thresher maw hunting with Grunt and shooting up a hospital with Mordin. It seemed like he wasn’t the only one to feel that way, if Jane’s grime splattered grinning face was anything to go on. When they’d returned to the Urdnot encampment, both Shepards seemed more like themselves, even after the horrors they’d witnessed at the hospital.
“You hear that? We got breeding requests! Ha! Bet that’s one you walk away from duck footed in the morning…” Jane chortled as she slapped her very uncomfortable looking brother on the back, her grin huge and her laughter infectious. Her forehead was still adorned with a red mark left over from where she’d butted heads with a krogan earlier that day. Shepard brought his hands up to run them over his face in tired exasperation.
“Oh my god, Jane, you can’t just-” Shepard started, only to be interrupted as Grunt offered Jane a high five, which she accepted, wincing in pain afterwards. As he watched her from a ways off, Garrus couldn’t help the tender feelings welling up in his chest, sighing as he crossed his arms with a crooked smile. Suddenly, something akin to a truck smashed into his back, nearly sending him flailing to the ground. As he gathered himself, Garrus turned to see a grinning Wrex standing beside him.
“Still hopelessly mooning after that little pyjack, huh Vakarian? Some things never change.” Wrex chuckled, his voice low and amused. With a huff, Garrus decided against responding, not seeing the point to it. They both turned to watch as Jane and Grunt’s antics progressed into wrestling, followed by Shepard attempting to pull them apart. “You know,” Wrex said slowly after a moment, “If you don’t man up and make a move, someone else will. ” Garrus stiffened before turning to glare at the krogan.
“What makes you think I haven’t already?” Garrus grumbled despite knowing he’d regret the bluff. Wrex had already seen through him, the old man was always too astute for his own good. As predicted, Wrex burst into amused laughter.
“Because! If you had , I’d have smelled her all over you.” He took a deep breath to emphasize, causing Garrus to roll his eyes, and Wrex chuckled again. “You can’t honestly think you’re her only option, so why are you pussyfooting around?”
“Look, she just wants to keep things friendly and professional, she’s made that clear in the past.” Wrex said nothing to that, his expression a disbelieving deadpan. Garrus looked down at his feet for a moment before looking back up and continuing hesitantly. “It’s just… not a good time for all that.” He found he couldn’t keep the other man’s gaze, letting his eyes drift back to the others. “This mission we’re on. We might not even be able to come back through the relay, let alone survive the mission itself.”
“So?” Wrex snorted, standing up taller as he put his hands on his hips. “Sounds like a load of bullshit to me, Vakarian. Excuses. Never thought of you as a coward, despite being a turian.” Garrus’ eyes shot back to Wrex, shooting him an indignant glare.
“I’m not scared.”
“Oh yeah? Well, then you better hop to it. If you don’t, someone else will.”
“What, like that breeding request? Excuse me if I don’t feel threatened by some random krogan, Wrex.” Garrus scoffed, rolling his eyes again. Wrex raised a brow at him, the corner of his mouth curling upwards in an almost predatory crooked grin.
“Maybe so. But I doubt you’re the only interesting person on the Normandy.” Garrus opened his mouth to reply, but Wrex continued on over him, “Plus, I was under the impression that Shepard was still actively recruiting for your big mission. Who’s to say he won’t pick up someone slightly more suave or clever than you next time you dock?” Wrex coughed to hide his ever widening grin, “Not that that’s terribly hard. Turian, and all.”
“ Thanks .” Garrus drawled, attempting to quiet the nibbling doubts newly planted in the back of his mind.
“Anytime.” Wrex barked, slapping Garrus on the back again, causing him to stumble before shaking the other man off. “No time like the present, especially if this mission is as dangerous as you say it is. Take it from a man who’s seen a few things. This isn’t the sort of regret you want.” Garrus blinked at that, frustration melting to be replaced by something resembling gratitude for the uncharacteristically deep advice.
“Thanks, Wrex. I’ll give it some thought.” Garrus said as he smiled, looking back at the group to see Jane swat Shepard’s hand away as he ruffled her hair, her glare half hearted and her pony tail coming undone.
“Garrus!” Shepard called out with an amused smile as he waved in their direction, “Time we got back to the Normandy!”
“Sure thing!” Garrus called back, turning back to Wrex. He offered his hand, which the krogan didn’t hesitate to take in a firm shake. “Good seeing you, Wrex.”
“You, too, Garrus. Make sure you all come back in one piece.”
“I’ll do my best.” He turned to leave, pausing as he noticed Jane look back at him, a smile lighting up her smudged and muddy face.
“Oh! And don’t forget to send me a wedding invitation!” Wrex added, causing Garrus to shut his eyes as he let go of a pained sighed, his mandibles flicking close to his face.
“ Good bye , Wrex!” He called over his shoulder as he hurried after the rest of the ground team, the krogan’s laughter chasing after him.
Chapter 36: Part 2: Chapter 11
Summary:
In which Garrus demands revenge.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 11
The Normandy SR2
While their shore leave on the Citadel had gone a long way towards dissipating animosity and developing comradery amongst the crew, Garrus would have to say that it wasn’t until after the events aboard the disabled Collector ship that they truly started to feel like a team. He wouldn’t say they’d reached the closeness that he’d felt with the original Normandy’s crew, but he was starting to feel as though they were making progress in that direction.
The day following their close escape from the Collector’s trap found the ground team discussing the events over the remains of their dinner. The nine crew members that made up the team so far were more than a little contemplative after everything that had happened, the revelations giving them more than a little to think about.
“-I just figured that they would value our lives a little more, especially Shepard’s, that’s all.” Jacob stated bitterly, leaning one forearm on the table before him as he took a big sigh. Miranda looked at him from where she stood against the wall, and Garrus was honestly surprised she was there at all. To him, it spoke volumes about the conflict that must be going on inside her head.
“I do admit it is a little shocking that the Illusive Man would invest so much in this mission, in Shepard, only to throw us blind into something like that. But I understand his reasoning.” She muttered, her brow furrowed as she gazed hard at the floor. There was something about the hesitancy in her voice that left Garrus wondering whether she also agreed with his reasoning. He suspected not.
“You’re just pissed he doesn’t trust you as much as you thought he did.” Jack sneered at her from where she leaned back in her chair. “I don’t know why you’re all so surprised. Cerberus sucks ass. Always has, always will.”
“Yeah,” Jane added a moment later, drawing eyes to her, “I’m with Jack.” She said with a shrug, “I don’t think any of us should have been surprised the Illusive Man would pull a stunt like that. I’ve seen enough of what Cerberus truly is to know they don’t balk at moral gray areas.” She shrugged before continuing, “We’re just cogs in the machine to them, to him.” Miranda’s brows furrowed further, if possible, and she opened her mouth to retort. However, she paused and closed her mouth again, looking away, her expression frustrated and torn.
“I dunno about those Collectors, they give me the heebie jeebies.” Zaeed spoke up from where he sat, leaning back slightly with one foot propped against the table, his arms crossed. “Never did like bugs very much. Felt good to squash a few of them.” There were a few sounds of appreciation following his statement.
“I don’t know what you’re all complaining about.” Grunt grumbled, smacking his fists together, “It was a good battle. We fought well and killed many of our enemies! We should all be proud of our victory!” His voice grew in volume as he continued, punctuating his final statement by smashing his fist against the table, causing the trays to rattle and getting more than one chuckle in response.
“I will admit,” Kasumi chimed in softly, “It felt pretty good to sneak in there and steal that data right out from under them. It’s not everyday someone knowingly invites you into their home and you still manage to steal the carpet out from under them.” Even more people laughed at that, heads nodding in agreement.
“Illusive Man lied to us. Used us, yes.” Mordin stated a moment later, his fingers brought up to his chin in contemplation, “Needed access to the Collector database.” He added with a nod, his face considering before he concluded, “Necessary risk.”
“Maybe.” Garrus stated, his voice belying his disbelief, “But I’m with Shepard. It would have been nice to go into it with our eyes open.” Just as people were beginning to nod and add their agreement, a series of soft pings echoed throughout the room. Looking down at his omni-tool, Garrus realized the Normandy must have come within range of another com buoy, enabling them to access the extranet and facilitating a data dump.
Throughout the room, and the entirety of the ship no doubt, heads bowed to read through new messages. Garrus began flicking through his own, one by one, until his heart stopped in his chest, his blood running cold with a familiar mix of anticipation and rage.
Sidonis. He’d been spotted on the Citadel in the company of a forger called ‘Fade’. Garrus could work with that. He finally had him . Or just about…
“Garrus?” His head snapped up, his eyes locking with Jane, her expression concerned. “You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” At that, Garrus realized how ridgid he’d gone, and tried to force himself to relax. He took a deep breath before answering.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just… got a message I’ve been waiting for. If you’ll excuse me…” With that, he pushed his chair back and stood, grabbing his tray before turning to leave. He didn’t have to look to know her eyes followed him as he delivered his tray back to Mess Sergeant Gardner with a nod of thanks and quickly made his way back to the Main Battery.
As soon as he was alone, Garrus read through the message over and over, taking in every single detail until he had it memorized. He turned to the door and froze as he lifted his hand to activate the door’s controls. His hand was shaking. Struggling to take a deep breath, Garrus realized he was nearly vibrating with anticipation and anxiety.
He was desperate to track down Sidonis, every breath the man took was an insult to the memories of ten good men and women. And every second that passed before Garrus could track him down was a second Sidonis had in order to disappear again.
Again, ten pairs of eyes seemed to bore into his back as he let his hand fall to his side. They deserved retribution. They deserved justice . Sidonis was going to die for what he’d done, for what they’d suffered.
Garrus forced himself to take deep breaths, forced himself to calm down. He needed to be cool and level headed, he needed his wits about him. Only with a steady hand could he grip the trigger that would give Sidonis his due.
Later, once he’d quieted the furor in his veins somewhat, he found Shepard in the Captain’s Quarters finishing up some reports at his console. Further in the room, Jane sat cross legged in the middle of the plush bed, dozens of tiny plastic pieces arrayed around her. In her hands was a partially constructed model ship, her expression one of the utmost attention as she carefully pushed a piece into place. The tip of her tongue stuck out of the corner of her mouth ever so slightly, a few stray locks of her bangs dangling before her face.
Garrus tore his eyes away from her, instead focusing on the Commander. They both looked up and smiled as he entered the room, Shepard leaning back in his chair and turning in it to face him.
“Garrus! What’s up? What can I do for you?” Garrus hesitated, his eyes leaping to Jane for a moment before returning to Shepard.
“I, er.. I’ve got something. I may need your help.”
“Sure, how can I help?”
“You remember Sidonis? The one who betrayed my team? I’ve found a lead on him.” Shepard sat up at that, his expression alert and interested. Jane made a small noise before throwing her legs over the side of the bed, coming to stand. “There’s a specialist on the Citadel; name’s Fade. He’s an expert at helping people disappear. Sidonis was seen with him.” Shepard leaned forward, steepling his fingers as he considered Garrus’ words.
“What are you planning to do when you find him?” Shepard asked, and Garrus felt his face tighten as his mandibles flicked in closer to his face.
“You humans have a saying: ‘An eye for an eye.’ A life for a life.” He could feel the steel slide into his voice as he continued, “He owes me ten lives, and I plan to collect.”
“Where do we find Fade?” Jane asked suddenly, and his eyes snapped to her as she took the two steps up from the lower level. Garrus would have smiled at the glint in her eyes had he been in the mood to smile.
“I can arrange a meeting in a warehouse near the Neon Markets down on Zakera Ward.” Garrus explained, his eyes returning to Shepard, his heart in his chest as he awaited his decision. Shepard took a moment to consider before responding.
“I assume you need to get to the Citadel as soon as possible then?”
“If that’s possible, it would be best.”
“Okay. We can make that happen. I have things I need to take care of there, anyway. I’ll have them set a course, we can be there in a couple of days.” Shepard said as he leaned back in his chair again, his expression thoughtful. Garrus felt his shoulders loosen as a weight seemed to shift off of them.
“Thanks, Shepard. I appreciate you taking the time.”
“Is this something you want to do alone, or do you want backup?” Jane asked as she crossed her arms, leaning against the massive display case half full of model ships. Garrus hesitated before nodding.
“If you’re both available, I could always use someone to watch my six.” She smiled at that and Garrus would be lying if he said the sight didn’t make something in his chest flip over.
“Of course Garrus. Anything you need. We’re all that’s left of the Normandy’s original crew. We’re practically family!” Shepard chuckled, causing Garrus to smile as well.
“Well, I mean… You and I kind of are family, John.” Jane pointed out, grinning as Shepard leveled her with a deadpan stare.
“Thanks, guys.” With that, Garrus turned and headed for the elevator, pressing the button to summon it. When it arrived, he stepped inside, but just before the door could close, Jane darted in after him.
“Hey, mind if I ride down with you?” Garrus raised a brow plate at her questioningly.
“Is Shepard okay with you leaving your model pieces strewn out over his bed?” He asked lightly, causing her to smile.
“Probably not, but honestly, he has a bad habit of falling asleep on the couch anyway. I think the bed is a little too soft for him.” She rolled her eyes, the corner of her lips quirking upwards affectionately. “Regardless, there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh?” Garrus asked, attempting to keep his voice neutral even as he felt his heart thud loudly in his chest, possibilities suddenly running wild in his head.
“Yeah, I actually have a little personal business to take care of on the Citadel as well. Something that I need to take care of before we head through the Omega 4 relay.” Garrus blinked as he forced down his overactive imagination. He blamed his already brittle emotional state, honestly. “I was hoping that, after we handle everything with Sidonis, you might be willing to give me a hand with it.” Jane proposed, her voice oddly hesitant as she looked up at him.
“Of course.” Garrus replied instantly before asking, “Is Shepard going to be joining us as well? Or is this related to… Other things you’ve been up to?” Garrus glanced over to where he knew the elevator’s camera resided, careful not to mention anything that would bring her under suspicion.
“Er, no. It’s not related to any of that, actually. But it’s still something I’d like to keep between us, if that’s alright.” She looked down, but not before he caught the furrowing of her eyebrows in a concerned frown.
“Is everything alright?” He asked carefully, his voice gently probing, and she looked back up, her expression softening slightly.
“Yeah, I think so. It’s just some… old friends.” Her lips twisted at the words as though tasting something rancid, “They’ve gotten in contact and I need to nip it in the bud before it becomes a problem.”
“I see.” Garrus responded slowly, his voice even, “Of course I’ll give you a hand with anything you need. But I do think you should confide in your brother more than you do. He’s worried about you.” She shut her eyes, her expression pained.
“I know.” Jane sighed, looking away as she crossed her arms. “I know.”
Everything started out well enough once they reached the Citadel. They spoke with Bailey, threatened a volus, took out a few krogan. Throughout all of it, Garrus managed to hold on to most of the calm he had carefully constructed. He was attempting to approach the hunt for Sidonis as level headed as he could. He was simply taking out the trash, nothing more. It was a job that needed to be done, and he was the only one left to do it.
But underneath it all, he could feel the boiling, churning mess of emotions just beneath his plates. The rage was simmering within him and he was trying not to burst at the seams. As they began to close in on ‘Fade’, Harkin , Garrus felt as though the barrier holding it all back was becoming thinner and more ragged at the edges.
“I’m in no mood for his games.” He spat as they looked through the window into the factory floor Harkin had escaped to. “If he doesn’t cooperate, I’ll beat him within an inch of his life.” Garrus narrowed his eyes as he searched for any sign of the forger. Beside him, Jane shifted uncomfortably.
“You seem to be getting tense, Garrus.” She murmured, concern thick in her voice. He could feel the ticking of time passing, itching under his plates like a disease.
“Harkin may know why Sidonis wanted to disappear.” He growled, “If so, he knows why we’re here and I don’t want him tipping Sidonis off.” After a moment, she nodded silently before turning to look out the window as well. It wasn’t long until Garrus spotted movement toward the back of the room. They all ducked behind cover, drawing their weapons. “Did you see that?”
“I saw something .” Shepard muttered before turning his eyes back to Garrus.
“He’s getting ready for us.” Garrus pointed out as he peeked back out the window carefully.
“What are you going to do to Harkin if he won’t cooperate?” Shepard asked, a slight note of hesitation in his voice, as though he already suspected the answer. Garrus felt his expression harden.
“He’s a real criminal now. Working for the Blue Suns. I should just shoot him on sight.” He sighed, looking back up at Shepard from where he crouched, “But I need him alive, so I won’t do any permanent damage. Just enough to loosen his tongue.” Shepard sighed in response, and Garrus realized with a frown that the other man sounded disappointed.
“You don’t need to hurt him to get what you want.” Shepard pointed out carefully, almost placatingly, and Garrus tried his best not to feel ruffled by his statement.
“Don’t worry, Harkin’s a coward. He’ll talk long before I can really hurt him.” Shepard considered this before they began to discuss what could be waiting for them ahead, but before they stepped through the door, Jane grabbed Garrus’ shoulder to stop him.
“Garrus, you still planning on killing Sidonis when we find him?” She asked in a low voice, her eyes narrowed as they peered up at him searchingly. He nodded curtly before responding.
“That’s the plan.” He looked away from her, unable to hold her intense gaze, “It will be quick and painless. Unlike everyone he betrayed, he’ll be spared the agony of a slow death.” The chill in his voice grew as he continued, his fist clenching in anger, “It’s more than he deserves, but as long as he’s dead, I’ll be satisfied.”
“Okay then, if we’re going to keep moving forward, then you need to calm down and focus.” His head pounded as his eyes snapped back to her, his subvocals snarling as he glared down at her.
“I
am
calm.”
“No. You’re not. You’re being sloppy and you’re making mistakes. It’s not like you, and you’re going to get yourself or one of us killed if you don’t get your head in the game.” She snapped, and they held each other’s heated gaze for another moment before he turned and ripped his arm out of her grip. She was right, and in that moment, he hated her for it.
Regardless of her accurate critique, Garrus found it impossible to control the pulsing of his blood and the red in his vision as they approached Harkin. When his fist collided with Harkin’s face, the release of tension was nearly euphoric. As he smashed the other man into the wall, he could hear his own heart hammering in his ears as he forced himself to keep his rage in check.
“So, Fade… Couldn’t make yourself disappear, huh?”
“Come on, Garrus. We can work this out. Whaddaya need?” Harkin asked, his voice dripping with obsequiousness, and Garrus couldn’t stop the sneer from spreading across his face. He shoved Harkin back against the wall before stepping away. When he did reply, he almost didn’t recognize the harsh rasp of a voice that escaped him.
“I’m looking for someone.”
“Well, I guess we both have something the other one wants.” Fury coursed through him at the other man’s words, and in a flash Garrus turned and bore down upon Harkin. With a quick jab of Garrus’ knee, the human fell to the ground, clenching at the juncture between his legs as he cried out in agony. In an instant, Jane was beside him, a restraining hand on his arm, and Garrus felt the rage cool ever so slightly at her touch.
“We’re not here to ask favors, Harkin.” She stated plainly, disgust tingling the edges of her words as her eyes cut into the other human.
“You don’t say…” He wheezed as he shakily got to his feet, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as his eyes wearily darted between each of them. At last, though, Garrus was starting to get the feeling that Harkin understood that they meant business. Though, as soon as Garrus brought up Sidonis, he could see the other man’s back go up.
“I know who he is, and I’m not telling you squat .” Harkin spat acidly, a hint of backbone beginning to show through.
“Harkin,” Shepard sighed as he stepped forward, gesturing to the other man as though offering him an escape, “This doesn’t have to be hard.”
“Screw you.” Harkin growled in Shepard’s face, causing Garrus’ anger to spike, his mandibles tightening against his mouth plates. “I don’t give out client information. It’s bad for business-”
Before he could even finish the thought, Garrus felt his control snap like a rubber band under tension. Grabbing the smaller man around the neck, he smashed his head into the wall behind him, relishing the sharp crack that reverberated through the human’s body. Without hesitating, he drew back just long enough to smash his fist into Harkin’s stomach, feeling the air rush out of his lungs before he fell to the ground like a rag doll.
“You know what’s also bad for business?” Garrus could hear his own voice emanating from his mouth, and yet he seemed to be tunnel visioning. It was as if he was watching himself beating Harkin from a backseat, not unlike the dissociative episodes he still occasionally suffered from after the attack on the Normandy. It was a different Garrus who picked up his foot and placed it upon Harkin’s neck, a different Garrus who began to lean his weight forward. “A broken neck.” The words echoed through the tunnel, echoed in his ears from a distance.
“Alright, alright!” A voice bubbled up from the depths below where he floated, far off and tinny. The sounds of the room around him seemed to fade, everything narrowing down to the panicked eyes rolling in their sockets below him. “Get off me!” The voice seemed to grow fainter, further away as Garrus pressed down harder. But it wasn’t Harkin under his foot anymore, but a turian… A familiar turian with Magna colony markings, one that had been a friend, until…
“ Garrus. ” He was jerked backwards slightly and reality slammed back into him so suddenly that the world seemed to spin. His eyes widened slightly and he felt two hands, one on each of his arms, and he knew both Shepards had stepped forward to stop him. He caught a brief glimpse of the concern in Jane’s eyes and he backed up and away from the groaning man on the floor in a daze.
“Terminus really changed you-” Harkin coughed, bringing a hand up to rub at his neck, “Huh, Garrus?” Garrus sneered down at him before responding.
“No, but Sidonis… Opened my eyes.” Garrus nodded his head toward a nearby terminal before shifting away in disgust, whether in the other man or in himself, he couldn’t tell. “Now arrange a meeting.”
The sky car felt horribly cramped and uncomfortable as they made their way to the meeting location, but Garrus wasn’t quite sure why. His plates seemed to itch with anticipation, his pulse thrumming in his ears as he looked out the window at the scenery passing by. Shepard was silent where he sat in the driver’s seat, and Jane quietly tapped away at a display on her omni-tool. The silence dragged out through the car like a disease, stifling and cloying. Shepard glanced back at her before breaking the spell.
“What are you doing?” She glanced up momentarily before returning to her work.
“I’m having someone pick up Harkin, making sure he’s in custody.” She stated distractedly and Shepard looked back at her in confusion quickly before returning his focus to driving.
“Harkin’s a bloody menace. We shouldn’t have just let him go. He deserved to be punished.” Garrus growled as he gazed out the window, feeling his brow plates draw down as his mood continued to deteriorate.
“He will be. Just not by us.” Jane stated, the confidence in her voice doing little to assuage his frustration.
“He’s not worth our time.” Shepard added and Garrus sighed, tearing his eyes away from the window.
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He muttered, causing Jane to look up at him as she put away her omni-tool, her expression troubled.
“I’m getting a little worried about you, Garrus. You were pretty hard on Harkin.” She murmured quietly, causing him to look at her sharply.
“You don’t think he deserved it?” He snapped, causing her to snort with derision.
“I didn’t say that. It’s just not like you.” As they continued to discuss what they both knew he had planned for Sidonis, Garrus was trapped between exasperation, frustration, and confusion as she continued to insist, for some reason, that he wasn’t acting like himself.
She’d never seen him with his team on Omega, she didn’t know what he was capable of, but she’d seen him kill plenty of people with her own eyes during their missions. Garrus was perfectly capable of aiming and pulling the trigger, and he’d done so plenty of times in the name of justice. How had she gotten it into her head that any of this was somehow different ?
What was it that she saw in him that made her think that this wasn’t who he was?
“-but do you really want to kill him?” She finally asked, her eyes drilling up into him in a way that made it hard to keep her gaze.
“It’s not too late.” Shepard added as he landed the sky car gently before turning to look back at them, “You don’t have to go through with this. Why don’t you let me talk to him?” Garrus wanted to scream that they just didn’t understand, neither of them did. They’d never been betrayed by someone they’d considered a friend, they’d never experienced something like this. They’d never had to live with this rage bubbling under his plates for weeks, the intrusive thoughts pushing into his every waking moment, haunting him every night. Forcing it down, he reminded himself that they were both there because they cared about him. He leaned his head back, taking a deep breath.
“Talk all you want, but it won’t change my mind. I don’t care what his reasons were, he screwed us.” He realized that the level of his voice was slowly rising, the heat in his words intensifying, and tried his best to modulate them. “He deserves to die.” He growled, “Why should he go on living when ten good men lie in unmarked graves?” Shepard opened his mouth to reply, but Garrus looked away as he cut him off. “I’m sorry, Shepard, but words aren’t going to solve this problem.
“Garrus, we’re not-”
“I need to set up.” Garrus interjected, effectively cutting off the conversation. It wasn’t long until he was situated in the catwalks above, watching through his scope as the two Shepards casually made their way down the strip.
There he was. Sitting on a bench, leaning forward to gaze down at his feet, was Lantar Sidonis. The bastard really was still alive, and until that moment he hadn’t even realized there had been a speck of doubt of his guilt still within him. He growled, his finger tightening on his trigger.
Shepard stepped forward toward the sitting turian, who looked up at the approach. Getting to his feet, Sidonis came to stand before the two humans.
“You’re in my shot. Move to the side.” Garrus ordered, but instead of complying, Shepard turned to look at Jane, his expression questioning. Jane turned slightly to glance back at where Garrus was perched before looking back at her brother, giving the slightest shake of her head before shutting off her com. She said something to Shepard, who nodded in clear agreement before turning back to Sidonis.
Garrus could hear his own subvocals grating and he swore to himself that when this was all over, he was going to download a human lip reading program for his visor. He shouldn’t have been surprised when Shepard refused to move aside. Cursing both of them, Garrus shifted to the side a little in hopes of catching a glimpse of the other turian.
But then Shepard got Sidonis talking. As he described the hellish existence he had been enduring the past few months, Garrus felt his hands holding his rifle grow heavier. His words felt eerily familiar, almost as though Sidonis had been describing his own experiences after the events in that apartment on Omega. He tried to steel himself, reminding himself that those men and women wouldn’t be dead if not for the other turian’s actions.
As Sidonis came to lean over a railing, gazing out at nothing, Garrus got his first good look at him, and something held his finger off the trigger. There was something about the other man’s face, something different.
With a jolt that he felt all the way to his knees, Garrus realized that what he was seeing was recently healed scarring across Sidonis’ face, disappearing down beneath his collar. While not as extensive or noticeable as Garrus’, it was still shocking to notice, and it hadn’t been there the last time he’d seen Sidonis. Evidence that he’d been beaten, brutally, by the gangs that had killed his team.
“ You’ve got to let it go, Garrus. He’s already paying for his crimes .” Shepard said gently through the com, moving once again to block his view of Sidonis.
“He hasn’t paid enough. He still has his life…” Garrus muttered, but he could already feel his resolve beginning to dissolve.
“ Look at him, Garrus. He’s not alive… There’s nothing left to kill .” And with that, Shepard turned to look back at him, giving Garrus another chance to examine the other turian.
For weeks, when he’d thought of Sidonis, he’d seen him as the villain. He’d callously given up the lives of good men and women, an evil that had to be eradicated so that his team could finally rest.
But the man that stood before him wasn’t the evil villain Garrus had envisioned him as. He was just a sad, scared, lonely man. He was a coward who had been broken, battered, and forced to flee like a pathetic varren with his tail between his legs.
“My men… They deserved better.” Garrus growled, but he could already feel his hands lowering.
“ Tell Garrus… I guess there’s nothing I can say to make it right.” Sidonis’ words echoed through Shepard’s com, and Garrus squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the last vestiges of his resolve shatter like shards of glass. He finally lowered his sniper rifle completely, feeling as though it were made of lead all of a sudden.
“Just… go.” Garrus managed to utter, his voice nearly cracking, “Tell him to go.”
“ He’s giving you a second chance Sidonis, don’t waste it. ” He could hear Shepard saying, and even from where he was situated, Garrus could see Jane glance back in his direction.
“ I’ll try, Garrus. I’ll make it up to you, somehow .” Sidonis was replying, but all Garrus could focus on was the sick feeling of doubt that was clawing up his throat and the ten pairs of eyes staring at the back of his head, silent and judging. “ Thank you. For talking to him. ” With that, the two men nodded to each other before turning to leave. Jane unfolded her arms where she’d been standing beside Shepard, taking a quick step forward toward Sidonis. She grabbed his arm to stop him and her other hand balled into a fist, whipping backwards.
And then she pushed Sidonis full in the face. Garrus felt his eyes go wide as his mouth popped open. Sidonis fell to the floor clutching his face, looking up at her with wide eyes as she loomed over him. Her com was still off, but Shepard had dashed forward to grab hold of her, pulling her back.
“ -so fucking lucky that Garrus is so good! ” He could hear her raised voice through Shepard’s com, causing Garrus to freeze, “ So, so much better than I am, and you deserve so much worse! But he’s giving you a second chance, so don’t you dare fuck it up! Do you hear me?! ” Shepard managed to drag Jane backwards, away as Sidonis pulled himself to his feet.
Garrus watched as Shepard led his fuming sister away, Sidonis watching forlornly as the two humans left, still rubbing his face before turning to walk away. Garrus finally put away his rifle before gripping the catwalk’s railing, his churning mess of emotions threatening to overwhelm him. They reared their heads, causing a plethora of sensations and thoughts, only to be replaced an instant later with more feelings before he could even register them. Anger, doubt, confusion, even gratitude…
Underneath it all, Garrus felt a deep, bone shattering sadness. It seemed to cut through him, leaving him feeling naked and vulnerable in a way he couldn’t ever remember feeling before. It was as though all the grief he had been ignoring since the death of his teammates was being forcibly brought to the surface, as though he was being forced to acknowledge it for the first time. It felt horrible and raw and overwhelming.
By the time the Shepards finally got back to the sky car and returned to pick him up, Garrus wasn’t sure how he was still functioning under the weight of it all.
“I know you want to talk about this… but I don’t. Not yet.” Garrus choked out, and even though he couldn’t bring himself to look either of the other two in the eye, he saw Shepard open his mouth to reply.
“It’s okay. We understand.” Jane cut in, lifting an arm to stop her brother, who glanced at her before looking back to Garrus, nodding.
“Thanks, guys. For everything. I need some distance from his place. I need… I need a little time to sort myself out before I head back to the Normandy.” They both exchanged a look before they nodded.
“You going to be okay?” Jane asked softly, and Garrus nodded, looking away.
“I think so.”
As Garrus walked from district to district, neighborhood to neighborhood, he drifted in a fog, thoughts and impressions flitting through his mind and disappearing to be replaced by others in an instant. Holding onto particular notions seemed as impossible as holding onto a handful of water, just streaming through his fingers.
He wasn’t entirely sure how long he’d been walking, it was often difficult to judge time on the wards, but he blinked as he suddenly realized where he was. Looking around, Garrus realized he’d wandered into his old precinct from his first days in C-Sec when he’d been nothing more than a beat cop. His wandering feet had led him down the familiar routes without realizing it.
Garrus finally found himself in front of the building his very first apartment had been in. He let his eyes wander upward. It wasn’t a terribly tall building, well below the atmospheric cut off point, which had allowed residents to go out onto the roof.
He was halfway up the staircase before he could register his feet had begun moving. When he opened the door out onto the rooftop, he felt the nostalgia wash over him like a hot bath, the sight so comforting it almost hurt. Slowly, he walked up to the railing, gripping it as he looked up to see the ships slowly flying in toward the docking bays or going out toward the FTL jump zone. After a few minutes, Garrus let himself relax a little, leaning forward so that his forearms rested upon the railing.
His thoughts finally began to slow as the mindless spectating pushed thoughts from his mind. All that existed were the ships. Large and small, military and commercial, old and new, turian and human and-
He nearly jumped out of his plates when he noticed her beside him. At some point, Jane had come up to lean against the railing beside him, their armored arms a hair’s breadth apart. Warmth washed over him at the realization and he registered a distant emotion that almost felt like gratitude until it was quickly overwhelmed by irritation.
The last thing he wanted to do at the moment was talk about what had happened earlier. But Jane had a bad habit of poking at a problem until you talked about it, she could never leave things alone. Even if she didn’t press him to open up about everything, she would probably try offering sympathy or advice, and the thought of either made him feel sick, or possibly furious, he couldn’t quite tell.
But the moment dragged on into minutes, and she remained silently focused on the ships overhead, and he finally let his attention drift back to them as well. Together they lost themselves in the lights, the movement, the noise, and the silence.
Minutes stretched out into some undefined amount of time, and when Garrus finally looked down again, he felt himself smile. He was happy she was there afterall. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to be alone in the end. There was something about her silently offered companionship, the support, the lack of judgment.
“Thanks.” He whispered after a moment, and he smiled softened as he felt her lean into him slightly, her head resting on his shoulder gently.
“Always.”
Chapter 37: Part 2: Chapter 12
Summary:
In which Garrus finally connects the dots.
Notes:
Artwork thanks to @destinysquared!
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 12
The Normandy SR2
The hours ticked by as Garrus stared up at the bunk above him, unable to find sleep. The temporary bout of peace he’d managed to cobble together on the rooftop with Jane had helped get him through the following day, but by that evening it had faded, leaving him feeling empty and restless. He could hear the sounds of the sleeping crew members around him, and sitting up slightly, he could see a few bunks away where Jane lay, her back to him. She took the long, slow breaths of deep sleep, and Garrus laid back down with a sigh.
Finally, he swung his legs over the bed and sat up, leaning forward to rest his forearms upon his knees before standing and silently making his way to the door. His feet traversed the now familiar path to the Main Battery, but when he came to stand before the console, he couldn’t muster the willpower to boot it up. He gripped either side of the surface before him, leaning forward and letting his head hang.
He’d let Sidonis go. After weeks and weeks of near obsessive contemplation, his resolve had shattered and he’d let the bastard go. He should be furious with himself, and yet… he wasn’t. There was a part of him that would always hate Sidonis, but he couldn’t even muster up the effort to feel angry at him anymore. It was as if the rage that had kept him afloat the past few weeks had melted away to be replaced by such a deep sadness that he didn’t even know how to start sorting through it.
With resignation, he acknowledged that it was probably for the best. He wanted to curse Shepard, and yet the more time that passed, the more he found himself feeling grateful that the other man had talked him down. His men might not have gotten retribution, but he felt as though killing the other turian in cold blood would have been a step he couldn’t have come back from, particularly after seeing his own misery reflected in him like a mirror.
And so Garrus had somehow found himself letting go of the need for revenge, and with it went a weight from his shoulders he hadn’t even known he’d been carrying. Yet without that as his focus, he was being forced to handle all the other feelings he’d been pushing down and ignoring. He had ten good men and women to mourn and no excuse not to anymore. Squeezing his eyes shut, he took a shuddering breath, letting it go slowly.
The door whooshed open behind him, but he didn’t move. He already knew who it was.
“Hey.” Jane muttered, coming to stand beside him, her arms crossed as she stared out over the Normandy’s giant weaponry before them. He didn’t respond, but stood upright again, letting his arms fall to his side as he took in a deep breath. As he let it out, he could hear the pain reverberating in his subvocals, and suspected she could as well.
“I thought you were asleep.” He finally muttered, turning to look at her as he leaned against the console.
“Figured you could use some company.” Turning and heading toward the door, she stopped to glance back at him. “Come on. Let’s head downstairs. I’m sure a little exercise will wear you out, might be easier to sleep then.” With that, she opened the door, and Garrus sighed in amused exasperation. Both the Shepards had a way about them of just expecting people to defer and capitulate. Then again, they usually did, and so Garrus followed after her without complaint.
They rode the elevator in a comfortable silence, and Jane led the way to the sparring mats as she undid the zipper on her hoodie. With a casual flick of her wrist, she tossed it over one of the nearby work out machines, and Garrus felt his mouth go dry as he noticed that, besides her loose fitting sleep pants, all she wore beneath her hoodie was a matching black N7 sports bra. Her hair was tied back in a loose ponytail, but locks had escaped it to frame her face long with her bangs. She grinned as she noticed him staring.
“What? Like what you see, Big Guy?” She purred as she lowered herself into a defensive position, a clear invitation.
“Two can play at that game.” Garrus replied, pulling off his own sleep shirt and tossing it aside as well before joining her on the sparring mats. He was not disappointed to see her own eyes dip lower to examine him in turn.
As soon as they started, he could tell something was different. At first, Garrus figured it was the lack of heated frustration and anger that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his bones and had given everything a negative, sour hue. As the match continued, though, he realized that the heat that accompanied this match seemed to stem from something else entirely.
It was in the lingering brushes; blows that should have been aimed to hurt instead left shivers of anticipation. He nearly gasped as she dodged to the side of his attack, her fingers coming up to brush his side lightly. It almost seemed like a game of cat and mouse, and he wasn’t sure who was the prey and who was the predator.
And it was in the lingering gazes; her eyes never seemed to leave his, the warmth and intensity in their depths enough to leave him feeling parched and short of breath. Lately, he’d felt stifled and awkward when it came to the strange tension between them, often stumbling over his own words and shifting his eyes away. But tonight he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, holding her gaze with a heat and fervor all his own.
There was also something about Jane’s body language that was different than usual. She usually moved with a bold confidence that challenged anyone who caught her eyes, a confidence born of years fighting in one way or another. But now she seemed to move with an understated fluidity that almost felt like more of a dance. Instead of her usual single minded battle for dominance and victory, she seemed content to give way and yield more often, leaving them on a much more even ground than usual.
Just as she attacked, Garrus dodged and darted forward, managing to grab and flip her so that she landed hard on her back. As she gasped with the impact, he pounced, pinning her down. But before he could demand she yield, he found himself completely distracted by the smooth expanse of skin across her stomach and waist. He was no longer holding her down, but she continued to lay there beneath him, her arms stretched out above her head. Her entire body seemed open to him in a way that nearly made him groan. Their eyes met and held for a moment that stole his breath before he tore himself away, apologizing and helping her up.
More than once they found themselves in similarly intimate moments and positions, and he decided she couldn’t have any idea what she was doing to him. There were so many small things she was doing that he found his eyes drawn to, small shifts of her head to expose her neck, twists of her arms to expose her wrists. It was alluring body language he was used to seeing from a turian to signify attraction and interest, but there was no way humans would see it in the same light. It was driving him absolutely wild, particularly coming from Jane. Someone whom he…
Seeing an opening, he snatched her wrist as she attempted to dodge, using her momentum to spin her around and pin her against the bulkhead. The air rushed from her lungs as she hit it hard and he shuddered as the sound she made almost sounded like a moan. Before she could move, he grabbed her other wrist, pinning her as best he could.
“Yield.” He growled, unable to prevent himself from leaning in closer as their eyes met yet again. They were so close that he could smell her, the familiar scent washing over him and causing his stomach to clench.
“Make me.” Jane whispered, smirking as she leaned her head away to expose the soft, pale skin of her neck, still watching him closely out of the corner of her eyes. Garrus shivered, nearly groaning at the open gesture. His eyes drifted shut as he stepped in closer, nearly flush against her, leaning his head down until his face was a hair’s breadth from her exposed neck. He desperately fought the desire to give in, to bring his face down to nuzzle against her, to let the tip of his tongue dart out to finally taste her. She couldn’t possibly know the effect she had on him-
Wait a moment . Garrus froze and his eyes snapped open. Jane Shepard, who had spent months training amongst turians, who had slept with a turian in the past. She knew exactly what she was doing right now.
His mind seemed to implode as the implications washed over him, and in his panic he let go of her as though burned, stumbling backwards. He turned away, his eyes wide and his heart racing. Jane wanted him, she was interested in him, there was no way he could be misinterpreting it. He brought a hand up to his face in shock as his mind reeled at the realization.
After all that time, by some miracle…
“Jane, I-” He turned around to face her again, only to find her gone. Ice fell into his belly as he glanced around. Garrus realized she was nowhere to be found, even her hoodie was missing. His heart thudded painfully in his chest and he wondered if it had all been another dream, a hallucination. But then he heard the elevator door shut, and he spun around.
She’d run. Garrus’ mouth popped open in surprise, the action so unlike her that he just gaped for a moment before wondering how under the Spirits he was supposed to handle this situation. Was he supposed to give her space? Was he supposed to follow after her? He had no idea how he was expected to react, was this some sort of odd human ritual? He thought desperately back to the research he’d done back on the SR1, to all the information Joker had forwarded him, but he was drawing a blank.
Garrus stood there and panicked for a moment longer before making up his mind. Not even stopping to grab his own shirt, he darted toward the elevator, ramming his hand into the holo controls to summon it. The wait for the doors to open seemed intolerable, agonizing, and he nearly screamed as the seconds dragged on. The doors finally opened and he hurried inside, panicking again as he considered the floors. Taking a chance, he hit the button for the crew deck, trying his best to be patient as the slow machine inched upwards.
Garrus eventually stepped out onto the crew deck before turning toward the port observation deck hesitantly. The door controls glowed green, which he supposed was a good sign. There was a chance she’d gone back to the crew quarters to find her bunk, but somehow he doubted it. Stepping forward, he palmed the door opened before taking a slow step inside.
Jane stood before the huge window, illuminated by the low light of the room and framed by the flickering stars beyond. She had one hand on her hip, the other raised wearily to run through her bangs, brushing them out of her face. Upon hearing him enter, she whipped around, her unzipped hoodie slipping down to expose one bare shoulder. Her mouth popped open in surprise, her eyes wide.
They stood like that, silently staring at each other as time trickled by. Garrus had no idea what to say to her, his heart stuck in his throat. She was so beautiful that his chest ached with it.
“Ahem.” Someone coughed dryly, and they both spun to face Kasumi where she sat at the bar, a huge grin splitting her lips. “You were saying, Shep?” Jane seemed to stare at her in a daze for a moment before responding.
“Ah, um, would you mind… giving us a few minutes, Kasumi?” She asked, her voice oddly shaky as she turned back to eye Garrus, her expression guarded. At that, Kasumi jumped down from the stool she’d been sitting on before sauntering toward the door.
“Sure thing. You know what? I’m going to go make myself comfortable on the other observation deck. You guys take all the time you need to… sort this out.” She gestured between the two of them before chuckling and exiting the room without a further word. As soon as they were alone, Garrus turned back to face Jane, steeling himself.
“Jane, I-”
“Garrus, I’m so sorry.” Jane cut him off in a rush, bringing her hands up to scrub at her face in exhaustion, “I shouldn’t have- I know you’ve been through so much recently, I shouldn’t have put more on your plate. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, I thought I was reading you right, but I guess-” Garrus stepped forward, closing the distance between them as she spoke. “I should have given you more time after everything that happened before I tried to-” She cut off as she looked up to see Garrus standing just before her.
Reaching a tentative hand up, Garrus let his fingers brush gently through the fringe of hair framing her face. Her eyes went wide as he let the tips of his fingers trace down along her cheek before looping through a lock of hair from the loose ponytail draped over her shoulder. He felt like his blood was on fire, every nerve ending tingling with anticipation.
“It’s even softer than I’d imagined.” He murmured and a small smile bloomed across her cheeks as she flushed a soft pink. She brought a hand up to grab the elastic holding her hair and gave it a tug, pulling it out to let the locks flow loose around her shoulders. Garrus let his breath go with a sudden hitch, running his fingers through her hair, marveling at the silkiness. He’d spent an embarrassingly large amount of time over the past few years imagining what her hair felt like, and now that the moment was finally here, it almost felt like a dream.
And yet the way his pulse thrummed as he gazed down into her soft eyes and the feeling of her hand coming up to rest upon his chest let him know it was all too real. He could feel himself hold his breath as his other hand came up to pull her closer.
“I was thinking of cutting it again, actually. It’s gotten long.” She whispered and the sound sent a shiver down his spine. She tilted her head up toward him, and he couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face.
“I’m sure you’ll be just beautiful no matter what length it is.” Garrus stated and his heart sang as he felt the softness of her fingers coming up to brush along his uninjured mandible. She cupped his face gently and he could feel himself leaning into the gesture. Before he could stop himself, he was leaning down toward her and he felt his eyes flutter shut as his forehead came to rest against hers.
“You really are a smooth talker, aren’t you.” Jane chuckled, leaning into him as her hand drifted lower to trace down his neck, causing his stomach to tighten. “Before, I thought maybe I’d-” She gasped as Garrus’ hand trailed up her side, small bumps breaking out across her skin. “-miscalculated, misinterpreted. You can be a little hard to read sometimes.” Jane added, her voice becoming more breathy with each stroke of his fingers.
“Me?” Garrus asked, his voice low as he let his head fall to nuzzle at her neck, both his hands coming down to hold her hips, his thumbs pausing to caress the jut of her hip bones. She felt amazing, her skin so unbelievably soft, her muscles taut just below the surface. And she smelt absolutely heavenly, it was becoming addictive. “ You’re the one who’s impossible to read, always hiding behind smirks and sarcasm. I had no idea that you-” He gasped as she turned her head and brought her lips to his mandible in a gentle kiss. “ Spirits , Jane…”
Garrus brought his head up and she took his face in her hands, leaning forward to press a kiss to his mouth plates. His eyes widened as he realized what she’d done, he’d done too much research into human courtship and sexual customs to not recognize it. He wondered, panicking for a moment, how he was supposed to reciprocate without lips of his own, but then he felt her lips shift and the softness of her tongue darted out to taste the tip of his mandible and he groaned, grabbing her tighter.
Taking a chance, he let his mouth open slightly, nearly melting as he felt her tongue brush against his own. His knees felt weak, the simple intimacy of it causing something to flutter in his stomach. Jane’s tongue retreated and she pulled away just enough to look up at him questioningly, and he answered by leaning forward to approximate a kiss of his own.
He could feel her smile against his mouth plates, and a moment later their tongues met again, this time at a more hurried pace, the heat between them growing steadily as their fingers explored, seeking out new areas to tease. The taste of her was intoxicating. She was far sweeter than he ever could have dreamt, and Garrus was starting to think it would be impossible to drink his fill of her.
He couldn’t stop himself from groaning into their kiss as he felt her fingers come up to caress the space just below his crest, causing him to shudder as pleasure washed over him. It'd been so long since someone had touched him like that, and for it to be her … Surely this was all some sort of dream? This couldn't be real.
He let his hand venture upwards slowly, enjoying the shiver he felt from her as his talons grazed across her exposed skin lightly, until his fingers came to the edge of her sports bra. He hesitated a moment before letting them drift up further until he felt the swell of her in his palm. Tentatively, he applied a gentle pressure, unsure if he was doing it correctly.
Garrus was rewarded with a breathy moan, causing him to purr in delight, his subvocals vibrating with his need and desire.
But a moment later, he felt her small fingers play with the waistband of his sleep pants, and he froze, his eyes snapping open as something occurred to him, apprehension cooling his exhilaration.
"Jane-" He started, pulling back slightly, causing her to groan with frustration, blinking up at him with a dazed look.
"What? What's wrong?" She asked, her voice a mixture of impatience and apprehension.
"It's just," Garrus choked back a sudden bout of fluttering nerves and he chose his next words carefully, "I’m not looking for…” He coughed, feeling his neck flush as he looked away, “Not looking for, uhh, a one night thing.” She chuckled and he looked back at her as he felt her arms come up to wrap around his neck.
“Shit, Garrus…” Jane muttered, pulling him closer as she reached up to brush the ghost of a kiss across the warm, softer skin at his throat, causing his breath to hitch. “After all this, I would be seriously disappointed if this was a one time thing…” she continued, her voice husky, and he groaned as she nipped at him gently.
“Jane, I’m serious.” Garrus growled as he grabbed her shoulders. “I don’t want this to be just about blowing off steam. Not with you.” He swallowed, letting his eyes roam her face, desperate for her to understand, desperate for her not to pull away.
He’d never felt this way about another person, sex having always been a fairly casual thing in the past. Sure, he’d had other relationships, but they’d never lasted long, and he’d never felt this terrified to put himself out there. It felt like he was placing a part of his heart in her hands, begging her not to drop it. “I want something real with you, or not at all.”
Jane’s expression softened, a soft smile on her lips as her hands came up to cup his face, thumbs stroking lightly down his mandibles.
“I want that, too, Garrus.” She whispered, her eyes crinkling as they sparkled. Her words reverberated through his head, taking a moment before they truly sank in. Something in his chest was expanding, becoming so uncomfortably tight that he almost couldn’t breath. “I want to explore whatever this is between us.” At that, he felt his mandibles widen in a small smile again as he pulled her closer, marveling at how she seemed to melt into his arms. She was so soft, so much more so than he’d expected, particularly given how hard she could hit.
They leaned in toward each other again, their foreheads meeting as he felt himself nearly vibrate with happiness he hadn’t even thought himself capable of at this point in his life. The smile slowly dissipated as doubts started to seep back in. It all felt too good, too unbelievable to be real, after everything he’d seen.
“I just…” Garrus’ voice cracked as he held her closer, shutting his eyes in hopes that she wouldn’t vanish, “I’ve seen so many things go wrong, Jane. My work at C-Sec,” He paused, sucking in a deep breath, “Everything that happened with Sidonis…” He opened his eyes, letting the breath go in relief when he saw her still there, drawing back an inch in order to look into her glittering, green eyes. “I want something to go right. Just once. Just…”
Jane leaned forward, brushing the tip of her nose against his before pulling away completely, leaving him feeling cold at her sudden absence. Her hand trailed down his arm, seeming to leave fire in her fingers’ wake until her hand stopped, grasping his own. Her hoodie had slipped off both shoulders, pooling in the crook of her elbows and exposing the soft, pale skin of her shoulders in a way that made something in his abdomen tighten as he fought down the desire that welled up.
With a gentle tug, she led him further into the room so that they stood just before the large window, and as he gazed down at her, Garrus could swear he saw the stars reflected in her eyes as she smiled wistfully.
“I can’t promise how things will work out,” Jane breathed quietly as she looked down at their oddly interwoven fingers between them. “Not with this mission, with everything going on,” Her other fingers came up to stroke the top of his hand gently, comfortingly, “But I can’t think of a place I’d rather be than right here ,” She used both her hands to bring his hand up to her lips, giving it a feather light kiss, “With you.”
Garrus felt his face soften at that, some of the tension leaving him as it started to sink in that this was truly happening. He brought his other hand up to tuck a lock of her hair behind one of her curious, rounded ears.
“I know you could find something a little closer to home.” He offered her one last out, hoping desperately that she didn’t want to take it. With that, she rolled her eyes, her smile becoming amused and exasperated. Releasing his hand, she pushed him backwards, causing him to tumble backwards with a yelp onto the couch he hadn’t realized was there.
Jane took a slow step toward him, and suddenly he felt oddly nervous, as though he were prey being stalked. Her eyes narrowed as she smiled slyly down at him, her fingers carefully plucking the hoodie from her arms before tossing it aside to crumple to the floor behind her. In the blink of an eye, she was straddling his hips, and Garrus found his hands coming up automatically to clutch her.
“I don’t want something closer to home.” She gasped out as his hands slid up her side and back down again to rest upon the swell of her bottom. Her hands trailed up his neck before cupping the sides of his face, leaning her forehead against his again. They remained like that for what a second, or perhaps an eternity, before she pulled back a bit, her lips ghosting across his mouth plates as she whispered, “I want you .”
Chapter 38: Part 2: Chapter 13
Summary:
In which Garrus nearly becomes an accessory to murder.
Notes:
Content warning for this chapter: It contains mentions of human trafficking and abuse, but they are not detailed or graphic.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 13
The Normandy SR2
Somewhere in the back of his head, Garrus knew where he was. He’d followed Shepard through the CIC to the Normandy’s cockpit at some point, but the details seemed to be slipping away from him. His attention had started deteriorating the moment he’d noticed the red haired woman he found there, tinkering with one of the displays as she helped install an update.
He knew Shepard was discussing something with him, but the meaning of the words seemed to be going in one ear and out the other. All he could see was Jane, who had finished her work and had come to stand beside her brother, staring up at Garrus with a challenge in her eyes, a small, knowing quirk to her lips. Her eyes left his to slowly rake down his body before returning to his face, her smirk growing wider and more predatory, her eyes narrowing slightly as they seemed to dance with amusement.
Garrus felt the temperature of the room begin to tick upwards as he fought the flush creeping up his neck. He swallowed but forced himself to hold her eyes, not wanting to back down from the challenge there. It was exhilarating and impossible not to dwell on the few hours they’d spent swept up in each other the night before. It still felt like some sort of dream. When he’d woken that morning, he’d honestly started doubting his sanity until their eyes met at breakfast, the electric charge nearly enough to make him jump.
Jane must have noticed the anticipation tightly coiling his body and the nervous bob of his throat swallowing because she suddenly looked incredibly self satisfied. Garrus ruffled, determined not to let her win… whatever this stand off between them was. He pulled himself to his full height, squaring his shoulders as he looked down at her. He let his mandibles flick wide with confidence as he crossed his arms.
Jane seemed to appreciate him rising to her silent challenge, her tongue darting out quickly to lick her bottom lip. Spirits , he wanted to grab her, throw her over the unoccupied chair, and-
“-Garrus? Earth to Garrus? Did you hear anything I just said?” Shepard asked from where he stood beside Jane, waving a hand in Garrus’ face. He blinked, coming back to himself with a small shake of his head.
“Ah, sorry Shepard. Mind repeating that?” Garrus mumbled, forcing his eyes away from Jane as she chuckled, bringing up a fist to hide her amused smile.
“You okay, Garrus? You’ve seemed out of it all morning.” Shepard asked, his brows furrowing in concern. Garrus tried not to panic, his mind searching for an excuse. Somehow he figured ‘Oh, just daydream about ravishing your sister’ wasn’t a good answer.
“Yeeah. Sorry, I just didn’t sleep much last night.” He replied somewhat lamely, at least to his own ears, though Shepard seemed mollified. The other man’s expression softened, concern seeping into his voice.
“Ah, I can understand that. How are you holding up after everything that happened?” Garrus hesitated a moment at the question, his eyes darting quickly to Jane who was clearly attempting not to look at him, her expression carefully neutral.
“I’m… doing okay. I’ve been, uh, coping.” Garrus coughed awkwardly, and Jane was unable to stifle a soft, amused snort.
“Ugh, can you guys take this conversation somewhere else and spare me? I think I’m going to be sick.” Joker moaned from where he sat at the ship’s controls, looking over his shoulder at them, his eyes all too knowing. Garrus felt his neck flushing again, this time in embarrassment, as he wondered what the pilot might know or suspect. Joker and EDI had been more friendly with each other lately, was it possible that he knew about what had happened the night before?
Or were he and Jane just that painfully obvious?
Shepard turned his head to give Joker a strange look before returning his attention back to Garrus.
“Listen, Garrus, if you need anything, just let me know.” Shepard clapped him on the shoulder, and Garrus smiled at him in gratitude.
“Thanks, Shepard. But I think I’ll, uh… manage.”
“Good man. Anyway, I have to finish up the supply list, make sure we get everything on board before we leave tomorrow. I’ll talk to you guys later.” With that, Shepard turned and left the cockpit, his boots echoing down the hall.
“I suppose I should get back to work.” Garrus muttered, chancing a quick glance at Jane to see her watching him.
“I’m heading that way myself, I’ll join you.” She stated innocently, tucking her hands in her pants pockets as she turned toward him. “See you later, Joker.”
“Uh huh.” Joker grunted dryly, eyeing them both with a raised brow and a smug smirk. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He laughed before turning back to the controls as Jane and Garrus turned to leave.
“Doesn’t leave a whole lot of options there, hot shot.” Jane sniped back at him, causing Joker to squawk in mock displeasure. They made their way to the elevator in a comfortable silence, but Garrus couldn’t keep himself from shooting quick glances her way, completely unable to keep his eyes off her. She drew him to her like iron filings to a lodestone, he was powerless to prevent it.
Finally, they stepped into the elevator, hitting the button for the crew deck. He wasn’t sure who moved first, but as soon as the door closed, they were on each other. He hit the wall hard as she pushed into him, her hands slipping up his shirt and her dexterous fingers pressing into the sensitive skin of his sides, causing the air to leave him in a gasp.
“Do you know how hard it was not to grab you right there in the cockpit? How am I supposed to keep my hands off you?” He groaned as his fingers found her hips, his mouth coming down to nip at her neck, eliciting a pleased moan from her.
“Fuck, how am I supposed to focus on anything when you and that voice are in the room? It’s so sexy it should be illegal.” Jane muttered, grinning as he made his way up to nip at her ear lobe, her eyes fluttering shut as one of his hands found her hoodie’s zipper.
“Hmm, is that so?” Garrus felt a mixture of pleasure and pride well up in him as he grinned like an idiot and his hand slipped up her shirt to caress her stomach, inching upwards. “Good thing this elevator is so damn slow.” She laughed before leaning in to kiss him, her tongue darting out to meet his in a dance.
“Not slow enough.” She whispered between kisses, causing him to chuckle.
“I’ve been meaning to ask.” Garrus paused, pulling away slightly, enjoying her dazed expression, “It didn’t really come up last night, but is this something we’re keeping quiet, or are we letting the others know…?” He trailed off, his head tilting slightly in curiosity as he awaited her answer. Jane seemed to consider the question for a moment before responding as her finger traced a lazy pattern up his chest.
“I don’t really care if the others find out, but I’m not about to throw it in their faces.” The corner of her lips quirked upwards, “Plus, there’s something fun about keeping it just between us for a little while.” She leaned in close again, her breath mingling with his. Garrus opened his mouth to reply, but the elevator dinged a moment later, signaling the end of the ride.
They sprang apart just in time for the door to open, revealing Grunt holding a food tray. Garrus could feel his hands come up to smooth his shirt down as Jane quickly readjusted her hair. Grunt’s eyes shifted from one of them to the other before he took a deep breath in through his nose. A moment later, he let the breath go, a smirk on his face.
“Heh heh heh…” The krogan chuckled slowly, his expression suggestive as he strode into the elevator, forcing the two of them to step around him to leave. They both turned to watch as the door closed, blocking the amused krogan from view. Garrus sighed, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck.
“Why do I get the feeling that it won’t stay just between us for long?” He muttered in annoyance as Jane ran a hand through her hair, her face still flushed. After a moment, he turned to find her watching him.
“Garrus,” She started, glancing behind her before continuing, “You’d said that you were okay with helping me with some things on the Citadel, are you still feeling up for that?” She asked, her voice low, and Garrus blinked, surprised by the change of topic.
“Yeah, of course.” He stated before smiling down at her, “Anything for you.” Her face lit up at that, pleasure dancing in her eyes. She grinned before grabbing the front of his cowl, pulling him forward to give him a quick kiss.
“Jeez, Garrus, I had no idea you were such a romantic.” Jane whispered teasingly before letting him go and taking a step back, “Anyway, I set the meeting for this afternoon, so we’ll need to get going soon. I recommend getting suited up and armed, I don’t really know which way this will go, but I have my suspicions.” Her eyes hardened, and with that the levity of the situation vanished. Garrus nodded his understanding.
“What are we going up against?”
“I’ll fill you in once we get off the ship.”
It didn’t take long for them to suit up, even with the occasional bouts of distraction , and it was slightly after lunch that they both made their way toward the airlock. Jane walked just ahead of him, and Garrus found it nearly impossible to glance away from the sway of her hips, the way her hard suit conformed to the dips of her body, especially her-
“Expecting a fight, guys?” Both their heads shot up to see Shepard stepping out of the cockpit, his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised. He looked pointedly at the weapons they had holstered, his expression unamused. Garrus’ eyes met Jane’s as she glanced at him quickly before returning her eyes to her brother, crossing her arms to mirror him.
“Oh, you know. Always be prepared, right?”
“Didn’t realize you were a boy scout.” They stared each other down, and Garrus could see the suspicion rising on Shepard’s face as the tension climbed. Given how concerned he’d been lately over Jane’s behavior, he could only imagine how this looked, now with Garrus in tow. “Where, exactly, are you going that requires heavy weaponry?”
“Strip club.” Jane stated bluntly, her expression bland as she shifted her weight to one side casually as if to say ‘what of it?’. Garrus shifted to glance at Shepard before he registered her words, his eyes whipping back to her in surprise. Shepard blinked, his own surprise evident.
“Uh huh…” His eyebrows jumped up his forehead, his voice reflecting Garrus’ own incredulity. With that, Jane turned and headed toward the airlock, palming the door open. Garrus turned back to Shepard and shrugged before following after her. “Have a good time…?” Shepard said just as the door closed behind him.
As they left the Normandy, Garrus felt guilt setting in. “I don’t feel right keeping things from Shepard. You know he deserves better. Why can’t you tell him about what we’re going to do?” Garrus asked as they trudged down the jetway toward the security checkpoint.
“Because I’m worried this won’t be strictly legal, and I don’t want to get him involved.” Jane replied, her voice low. “Let’s continue this conversation a little further away.” So they walked on in silence, their strides close enough that their arms bumped every now and then. Each time they brushed against each other, Garrus could feel his heart thud pleasantly and he marveled at how lucky he was that she’d picked him of all people. For the millionth time, he wondered if this was all some sort of dream. They passed through security quickly, and as they made their way through the markets, he spoke up again.
“So where are we really going?”
“I told you.” Jane responded, shooting him an amused look out of the corner of her eye, “A strip club.” He stared at her, and a moment later, she tilted her head and brought a hand up to her chin in consideration. “Well, actually, I’m not sure if the dancers at Chora’s Den strip or not. You might know more about that than I.”
“That old bar on the lower wards?” Garrus asked, incredulity leaking into his voice, “Why are we going there of all places?”
“Don’t ask me, I didn’t choose the location. They’re not exactly the classiest bunch.” Jane sneered as though she’d just smelled something vaguely rancid.
“So what are we up against?”
“You remember I told you about our time with the Tenth Street Reds on Earth?”
“Yeah, back before you both joined the Alliance to get off the streets.” How could he forget? He’d accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation between the Shepards. She’d later discovered him, leading to a more than awkward moment.
“Yep. Well, I hadn’t heard from them since, up until recently. They popped out of the woodwork to ‘request’ my assistance with something.”
“So we’re going to meet with someone from the Reds?”
“Yeah. They hinted at what they want me to do, but…” Jane trailed off, her feet slowing until she came to a stop, causing Garrus to pause next to her. She looked up at him with an odd hesitancy. “Garrus, I-” She swallowed and looked away, taking a deep breath, “I’m not ashamed of what I did while I was with the Reds. I did what I had to do to survive. But I’m not proud of it, either. I don’t want you to… think less of me after today.”
“Jane…” Garrus lifted a hand to gently tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, causing her to look back at him. His hand came to rest on her shoulder lightly, “It would take a lot for me to think of you as anything less than amazing.” She brightened at that, her smile almost cheeky, her face flushing slightly.
“Oh man, you’re on a roll. You’re going to give me a cavity if you don’t stop being so sweet.” He chuckled at that, letting go of her shoulder and letting his fingers trail down her arm. He knew she couldn’t feel it through her hardsuit, but it didn’t matter. Touching her in any way gave him a rush.
“Why didn’t you just ignore them? Surely a small-time gang you ran with ages ago can’t do much to you at this point.” Her shoulders slumped almost imperceptibly at the question as she looked away again.
“They may or may not have something with which to blackmail me, I’m not sure. I hardly care about that, but they’re threatening to drag John’s name through the mud along with mine, and I…” She trailed off, but words were unnecessary.
“Ah.”
Suddenly, Jane froze, her eyes narrowing as she turned to scan the shop fronts around them and the route they’d just traveled down. Garrus felt his own nerves stand on edge at her sudden change in demeanor, turning to glance around as well.
“What is it? What did you see?” He whispered softly, willing his voice not to travel beyond them.
“I’m not sure. I just-” Jane cut off, pulling up her omni-tool and inputting a few commands. “Come on, let’s keep moving.” They continued on, traveling quickly and silently, constantly double checking to ensure no one was following them. After a few minutes, Garrus felt nervous and on edge, as though they were being watched. Once or twice he managed to catch a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye, making his anxiety spike.
Finally, they darted into a dark alleyway that seemed vaguely familiar. Jane grabbed his arm, pulling him behind a few empty crates. They crouched there, sidearms drawn, for what felt like ages. Garrus couldn’t hear anything except their breathing, the far off sounds of the Citadel’s air regulators, and his own heart hammering in his ears. The alley was dim, the only lights giving everything an eerie red glow, making details hard to make out. All of a sudden, it clicked and Garrus remembered when they’d been there last. It was the exact access alley where they’d once saved Tali from assassins years before.
He heard the door whoosh open, followed by armored footsteps. Jane held up a hand to him, gesturing for him to wait in cover. Nodding, Garrus readied himself as she pulled up her omni-tool, and within seconds she’d vanished. He felt more than heard her shift and leave, and he inched along until he could carefully watch from behind the crate.
There was a lone figure carefully making their way down the alley. All Garrus could make out was the silhouette, and though he wasn’t an expert by any means, he suspected it to be a human male. He didn’t see evidence of a drawn weapon, but he couldn’t be sure. The man seemed to glance around as he took a few hesitant steps.
“Hands where I can see them.” Jane’s cold voice echoed through the space, and Garrus stood, his weapon drawn. “Why were you following us?” Before him, Jane stood just behind the man, her weapon trained on the back of his head. As the man’s arms slowly reached up into the air, he finally got a good look at their stalker and realization began to dawn on Garrus.
“Going to shoot me, Jane?” Shepard asked delicately, his voice dry and unamused. Her weapon sank to her side in an instant as she sighed, throwing her head back in exasperation.
“John? What the fuck are you doing here? You followed me? What is with you guys? First Garrus, now you? Fuck .” Jane growled, holstering her sidearm as frustration radiated off her. Garrus holstered his as well, chagrined and embarrassed.
“Why is it that I have to sneak around in order to figure out what it is that you’re hiding from me?” Shepard’s voice was deathly calm, but underneath it Garrus could hear the barely contained anger. “And now you’ve roped Garrus into whatever this is.” Shepard shot him a hard look, and Garrus felt his stomach drop, shame washing over him.
“What makes you feel entitled to know what I do in my free time?” Jane shot back, her back going up as her brows knit with equal irritation.
“I had been under the impression that we were family , Jane. I shouldn’t have to sneak around and follow you in order to figure out whether or not you’ve lost your mind.”
“No, but you should just trust me , John!” Her voice began to rise, and Garrus wondered for a moment if he should move to stand between the two of them. He felt horribly torn, unsure what his role needed to be in this. He was trapped between a rock and a hard place, as the humans liked to say, between his best friend and… whatever his relationship to Jane was.
“Jane, you joined a terrorist organization and keep giving me half answers, I don’t know what to think anymore. You sneak around behind my back, I know you’ve been keeping something big from me. Do you not trust me ? Why can’t you confide in me? We used to tell eachother everything, when did that change?” The heat slowly started leaving Shepard’s voice and by the end, a bone deep weariness began to seep in to replace it. The fight seemed to leach out of Jane, who went silent.
“I’m sorry John. I didn’t mean…” She looked away, sighed, and brushed her fringe of bangs out of her face. She looked to Garrus, and he nodded at her. He tried to silently encourage her, and perhaps his message got across, for she finally relented. “Okay. I’ll tell you everything, just not right now, not right here.”
“Then when , Jane?” Shepard muttered, his hands coming up to massage the slowly fading scars on his cheek.
“How about this?” She started, her voice conciliatory and her eyes darting to Garrus again before returning to her brother, “You head back to the Normandy, and when we get back I’ll tell you everything.” The alley was silent, and Garrus knew his face expressed his astonishment. Jane must have seen it, for she added, “I’ve been talking to Kasumi about scrubbing or jamming the port observation deck, getting rid of EDI’s ability to monitor there, at least for small periods of time.”
“What about whatever you’re up to tonight? Where are you heading?” Shepard asked, his voice drawn as he glanced between the two of them.
“Oh, well, we really are going to a strip club.” Jane quipped back at him, and Garrus shrugged. Shepard raised an eyebrow, and Jane checked her omni-tool with a sigh. “Okay, look. You can come with me, you’re going to find out about everything anyway. You always did like sticking your nose in.” She muttered as she glared at Shepard, but there wasn’t any real heat in it, “But please, let me handle this.” She sighed again, looking back down at her omni-tool. “It was my actions and decisions that landed me here, it’s my responsibility to sort it out.” They stared at each other for a moment before Shepard nodded.
“Fine. Lead the way.” He stated, and Jane looked to Garrus, who nodded, prompting her to turn and head down the alley toward the club.
“How did you track us, anyway? You’re not very good at that sort of thing, generally.” She asked as they neared their destination, her voice bemused.
“You do remember that I took the same N courses as you, right?” Jane turned to shoot him a look and Shepard shrugged, a little shamefaced. “I asked Bailey to use their surveillance system to track you for me, but he refused for some reason. However he was totally fine with tracking Garrus for me, so he’s been feeding me your location, I just had to keep up from a distance.” Jane stopped and stared at Shepard, her face a mix of frustration and admiration. After a moment, she snorted softly and shook her head before continuing on.
“Clever. Should have thought of that…”
As they entered the bar, Garrus couldn’t help but think of the last time he’d been there, guns ablaze and bullets flying. The two humans with him had been there, too, and it had been there that his friendly competition with Jane had really begun. He smiled fondly at the thought.
The smile faded quickly, though, as the atmosphere and mood of the grungy gentleman’s club began to sink in oppressively. Their group gained more than one disinterested look as they entered, the club filled with more people than Garrus expected to see during the midday hours. Shepard and he followed Jane as she picked her way through the crowd with purpose, her eyes seeking out someone in particular at a back table.
“Well, well, well.” Came a weasley voice as she came to a stop at a secluded corner table, standing across from a human man leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “If it isn’t Janie Shepard. They told me it was true, but I didn’t believe it. Little Janie grew up and turned into a soldier.”
“Finch.” Jane stated coldly as Garrus and Shepard came to stop on either side of her, and the man’s eyes widened as they landed on Shepard.
“ And John! Well, now that’s a surprise, given our last communication.” Finch looked back to Jane with a significant look which she ignored, her face completely expressionless as she stared down at him. “No matter, perhaps this makes things easier. You two were always attached at the hip, never seemed to be far from the other. At least, up until John disappeared. It’s good to see you again, John.”
Seeing no recognition on Shepard’s face, he continued, “You probably don’t remember me, but we ran together in the Tenth Street Reds.” Neither of the Shepards replied to that, and Finch smirked at them knowingly. “Maybe you don’t remember it yourself, running in a gang. None of the vids mention it when they’re talking about you, John.”
“Cut the shit, Finch. What do you want?” Jane spat, her expression shifting to one of mild disgust, as though she were looking down at the squashed remains of an insect under her boot. The amusement seemed to melt off the other man’s face at the ice in her voice.
“Fine. Straight to business. There’s a turian running for office on Zakera Ward, and we believe it’s in everyone’s best interest if he took a little vacation . We’ve been looking into hiring someone to take care of it, as this is a somewhat bigger job than most of our guys are capable of, but then Beria remembered little Janie Shepard and her particular set of skills. You were surprisingly hard to get a hold of, but you used to be pretty good at making people disappear when we needed them to, back in the day, so we figure you can take care of this little problem, too.” There was a heartbeat of silence before Garrus heard Shepard shift where he stood on Jane’s other side.
“What is he getting at, Jane?” He asked quietly, and Garrus turned to see him peering down at Jane with alarmed confusion on his face. Garrus remembered the conversation he’d had with Jane beside the old Mako about her time with the Reds. She’d insinuated that she’d been tangled up in some dark business after John joined the Alliance, but Garrus hadn’t thought it’d gone as far as murder. From the sounds of it, though, she’d had more than a little blood on her hands prior to her own enlistment. He couldn’t say he was surprised, but his heart broke a little for the teenage Jane who had been forced into that life.
“We can talk about it later, John.” She hissed, never breaking eye contact with Finch, who still sat across from them as he watched closely. “Who is it that you need me to take care of and why?” Finch grinned at the question, pleased and self satisfied.
“Joram Talid.” The name rang a bell in the back of Garrus’ mind. “He’s a racist asshole hellbent on running humans off the Citadel. Now that humans have started carving out a place for ourselves in outer space and gaining power here on the Citadel, bastards like him are gunning for us, and we need to send a message that we’re not to be fucked with.” Jane seemed to consider his words, her brows furrowing as she brought a finger up to tap her chin.
Garrus could feel his apprehension growing. He saw in her expression that she was debating something, and he desperately hoped she wasn’t actually considering going along with what the man was asking. He remembered the name now, Joram Talid. He was an anti-human activist, and barefaced to boot, but there was no way she could let these gangsters talk her into assassinating a relatively innocent man, no matter how detestable he was. He felt as though he was finally starting to understand her, she wouldn’t do something like that, right ?
“And if I don’t agree to do this job? What, exactly , is going to happen?” She asked, and Garrus took a breath, feeling his chest loosen a little. Finch, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes.
“Well, Johnny here is considered quite the hero, particularly after his miraculous rebirth. It’d be quite a shame if the famous Commander Shepard’s history of running with gangs went public.”
“Nonsense.” Shepard cut in, his hard gaze directed at Finch, “My history’s a matter of public record. I’ve got nothing to hide.” He turned to look at Jane before adding, “Jane, don’t let them blackmail you into doing anything wrong simply because of empty threats like these.” She didn’t respond, her eyes still trained on Finch, so Shepard continued, “Everyone knows that we ran with gangs as kids.”
“The Reds aren’t just a street gang anymore, John.” Jane replied, her voice low, “They expanded, getting into smuggling, drugs, sex trafficing, all sorts of fun things.” Garrus could hear the disgust in her voice, mirroring his own as she continued, “They’ve also recently shifted their focus to become something of an Earth-first organization.” Jane glared down at the other man, and Garrus felt a shiver at the edge of danger in her voice, “I’ve heard some pretty bad stuff about what you’ve been getting up to lately, Finch.”
“All the more reason to heed the warning. I can find a dozen Reds who’ll swear they saw you both kill aliens for fun. The council and all your alien friends won’t like you so much when they hear about that, so perhaps you should consider playing nice and going along with what we need you to do, Janie.”
Shepard seemed to stand taller, his eyes narrowing even as he considered the threat with somewhat more weight. “If that’s not enough motivation for you,” Finch continued, bringing up a hand to casually glance at his nails with apparent lack of concern, “Then perhaps we can dig up some evidence from some of the jobs we had you pull back in the day, Janie. I’m sure the cops would love to get their hands on some of the data I’ve hung onto over the years.” Garrus felt dread slowly settling in his limbs as he tried to glance surreptitiously at Jane, who continued to show no sign that the words had made any impression. There was a moment of silence before Jane replied.
“Let me guess. Even after all this time, you’re still just Beria's little errand boy, aren’t you.” She sneered down at Finch, and the words had an instantaneous reaction, as so many of her jibes did. Finch’s face twisted in anger, his eyes narrowing as his fist clenched so tightly it turned white.
“Beria’s just an old fool, content to sit around and play with his whores.” Finch hissed, shoving his chair back as he stood suddenly, “You don’t know what you’re talking about, you bitch . You’re lucky you were so useful back then, or else you would have ended up no better than any of his little playthings.”
Jane’s eyes seemed to darken, her face setting as her jaw tightened. Shepard jerked forward, his mouth opening to retort angrily, but Jane’s arm shot out to hold him back, effectively silencing him. Garrus felt his own ire sparking as he imagined, for a moment, a world where Jane had been forced to live that life.
“So he is still trafficking and pimping out girls, then?” She stated, a hint of odd satisfaction in her voice. Finch raised an eyebrow at her, her sudden interest causing his anger to be replaced by confusion.
“Well, yeah .” Finch shrugged, his expression seeming to call into question the soundness of her mind, “That bastard only ever thinks with his di– Urrrk!!”
Jane moved so fast that Garrus barely had time to register her movement. Before he knew it, she’d gotten around the small table, grabbed Finch by the collar of his shirt, and rammed him hard against the wall.
“Jane! What the-?” Shepard started, lifting a hand and taking a step toward her, grabbing at her and trying to force her off. They all froze, however, as she shifted her grip around Finch’s throat with one hand and reached around to grab her sidearm with the other. The surrounding patrons, who had stopped their conversations to watch and jeer at the prospect of a good fight, all pushed back as they cried out at the sight of the gun.
Finch froze, his eyes going wide as he tensed, his eyes never leaving the weapon now jammed up into his jaw.
“Now then.” Jane said, her voice deathly still and cold as ice, “I’m going to ask nicely, and I expect an answer. Do you understand, Finchie ?” She crooned the name, dripping with sardonic acid and Garrus felt a shiver run down his arms in a way very different from those she’d given the night before. Finch swallowed and nodded quickly, sweat beginning to break out on his forehead. “I need to know where the Red’s base of operations is here on the Citadel.”
Finch’s eyes seemed to widen further, darting around as though looking for help. They flicked to Garrus and Shepard where they both stood behind Jane. Garrus wouldn’t be surprised to see the man wet himself as Jane’s weapon pressed harder at his hesitation.
“Jane, let him go. You can’t shoot him here.” Shepard stated, his voice layered with a calmness leveled to sooth a wild animal. Jane ignored him as though she and Finch were the only two in the room, but Finch seemed to draw strength from the words.
“Y-yeah. You wouldn’t throw everything away by commiting murder here in front of all these witnesses. Y-you’re smarter than tha-.” Finch stuttered, but froze as Jane’s hand tightened around his neck.
“I can legally execute everyone in this bar.” Jane’s low, stone cold words seemed to reverberate around them, making the air catch in Garrus’ lungs. He could hear Shepard’s sharp intake of breath beside him. “You think the council cares about my shady past?”
Garrus couldn’t help but wonder, for a moment, if this was what he’d sounded like as he’d confronted Harkin only days before. He was so used to thinking of Jane with her grinning, playful sarcasm. It was easy to forget that she was every bit the deadly, powerful Spectre.
Her words seemed to demolish the vestiges of Finich’s courage, leaving him a sobbing mess.
“Th-the warehouse district on Z-zakera ward, in the old K-kassa Fabrication building.”
“And that’s where Beria is? Does he keep his girls there?” Jane demanded, not an ounce of emotion or pity in her voice. Finch nodded fervently, tears dribbling down his cheeks. “How many Reds are usually there?”
“P-probably about 20 or 30. There’s a f-few other safe houses, but that’s th-the biggest one.” Jane nodded her understanding before going silent, as though in contemplation. Realization jolted through Garrus, and he quickly stepped forward to place a hand on her shoulder gently.
"Don't do it." He whispered, noticing as her tense finger on the trigger relaxed somewhat. Jane turned just enough to glance up at him out of the corner of her eye before returning her attention to the sniffling man in her grasp.
“What’s going on here ? ” A voice boomed across the room, and they turned to see a C-Sec officer pushing his way through the murmuring, terrified crowd. Noticing Jane’s weapon drawn on Finch, the man quickly drew his own sidearm. “Drop your weapon and release him!”
Without missing a beat, Jane released Finch’s neck, keeping her weapon jammed up into his jaw, using her newly free hand to pull up her omni-tool, gesturing with it in the officer’s direction. The C-Sec officer’s omni-tool sprang to life upon his wrist with a ping! and he looked down at it in shock. After a moment, his eyes widened, and he lowered his gun.
“Oh, uh-” He hesitated, looking to Jane, then down to his omni-tool, then back to her again as she grabbed Finch and slammed his face down into the table, holding the back of his neck as she readjusted her gun to point into the back of his head. “Er, sorry about the interruption, ma’am.” He stumbled over the title, swallowing nervously, “I’ll, uh, leave you to it, then.”
The officer slowly backed up, and Jane glanced up to see Shepard staring in shock between her and the retreating officer. Her eyes locked with Garrus’, and after a moment, he shook his head slightly. She’d worked hard the other day to prevent him from doing something he’d regret, he owed her the same. Jane took a deep breath, releasing it slowly before holstering her weapon.
“Wait.” She barked toward the officer, who froze. “Arrest this man, be sure to detain him without letting him send out any outgoing messages.” The officer’s expression grew confused as he opened his mouth to reply, but she cut in, “ No outgoing messages, do you hear me? It will ruin my current investigation.”
“Yes, of course, ma’am.” The officer ducked his head to her before hurrying forward as he grabbed his handcuffs.
“I’ll send along the necessary report including the charges against him within the next 24 hours. In that time, he is to be held in solitary with no visitors. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“And you-” Jane leaned forward to bring her face closer to Finch’s as he mumbled prayers to some human god, “I don’t ever want to see your face again, got it ?” She hissed as she ground his head down into the table. He nodded frantically, his eyes rolling in their sockets. “Good.” She released him as the officer grabbed his hands, wrenching them behind his back.
Jane stepped back to let the officer drag Finch away, her eyes steel as she watched them leave. Garrus felt himself take a much needed breath, unsure if he was shocked, impressed, or incredibly turned on by the display. Possibly some mix of the three.
“What the hell was that, Jane?” Shepard hissed, causing her shoulders to soften as she turned to face the two of them.
“Sorry that got a little… intense, guys.” She offered before looking around to see the whispering crowd around them. “We need to get out of here before I’m recognized. This became a bit of a spectacle.” She muttered before turning toward the door. They followed her into the corridor and to a public transport console, where she ordered a sky car. They stood there in silence until it arrived.
“Do you mind driving, Garrus? I think John and I have a lot to discuss…”
"Of course." He agreed, and soon they slid into the sky car, heading back toward Zakera Ward, to the warehouse district.
Chapter 39: Part 2: Chapter 14
Summary:
In which Garrus does become an accessory to murder.
Notes:
Content warning for this chapter: It contains mentions of human trafficking and abuse, slightly more than last chapter but still not very graphic.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 14
The Citadel
They sat in silence, Garrus in the front and the other two in back, and it was a few minutes before Jane let go of a weary sigh.
"I went back to the Reds after you enlisted." Jane broke the silence reluctantly, causing Shepard to sigh as well.
"That much was obvious. But why? Before I left, I made sure you had a good home, a roof over your head, three square meals-"
"I never lived with that foster family.” The words hung heavily, making the air in the car feel heavy and hard to breathe.
“Why?” Shepard asked, an edge to his voice, “Why did you leave? And why did you lie to me about it? I was under the impression that you were happy and doing well. Jesus , Jane, we exchanged emails regularly, how did I have no idea…?”
"John, if I had stayed in that house any longer than I did, someone was going to end up getting hurt. I made damn sure it wasn't going to be me." She cut in sharply, making it clear that there was no room for argument.
"What do you mean?" Shepard asked hesitantly and Garrus shifted, wishing he could see their faces as they sat silently for a moment. “Did they try to hurt you?”
“Yeah.” She replied hoarsely, and Garrus felt his hands tighten on the controls, anger on her behalf swelling up in him.
He could vividly remember her retelling of the story back when they’d just become friends on the original Normandy. He’d always assumed, from her almost flippant, distracted attitude, that the ordeal hadn’t weighed much on her, but the raw emotion in that short answer said otherwise.
“I got out before he could do more than try to touch me. But I had nowhere else to go, so I went back to the Reds. They were all I knew besides the streets.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Or Anderson? Or someone at the foster agency?” John demanded, his own anger evident in his voice.
“Because you were finally able to get away from them and off the streets, and if I’d said anything, you would have left the Alliance to ‘come save me’, and I didn’t want you to do that. Running with the Reds was so hard for you, and you deserved better.” The steel was back in her voice, and when John tried to argue, she cut in over him, “ Look . I don’t want to argue about this with you, John, not over something that happened over ten years ago.” Garrus imagined they must be sharing a heated staring contest, but Shepard finally relented.
“Fine, we can talk about it later.” He snapped and Jane scoffed, but didn’t argue. “So you left the foster house, lied to me about it , and stayed with the Reds…” Shepard trailed off before continuing, his voice quiet, “Jane, we both know what they used girls that age for, what Beria used those girls for. Did they-”
“ No. ” Jane spat, disgust in her voice, “No, I had other skills they wanted, I had other ways of making myself useful.”
“That was the impression I got from Finch earlier. It sounded like they had you…”
“Yeah.”
“Why were you okay with that? I made it clear while I was with them that neither of us were going to be involved in anything that serious.”
“Yeah, well, you were intimidating even at 16. I don’t know how you managed to get so big even when we were half starved most of our childhood. Me, on the other hand, I was a small, skinny girl that no one took seriously until I beat them up. I had the uncanny ability to get into places I wasn’t supposed to be without being seen. It was either make myself useful with a gun or make myself useful with my body , and it was an easy choice, even back then.” The clipped tone to her voice brooked no argument, and they returned to silence. It dragged on for so long that Garrus almost decided to cut in until Shepard finally replied.
“Jane, I’m so, so sorry you had to make that choice. I never should have enlisted without you, I should have waited until you were 18, too. I should have stayed with you, kept you safe, stopped them from-”
“John.” She snapped, and Garrus could imagine the fire in her eyes, “I didn’t need you to protect me, I did a perfectly fine job all on my own. I’m here, aren’t I? I’m not ashamed of what I had to do to survive, I’d make those choices all over again if I had to. I’ve put it all behind me, and you need to, too.”
“I-”
“No, I’m done talking about this right now.” Jane growled, but after a minute of tense silence, she took a deep breath and continued with a softer voice, “It’s okay. Seriously, John. You don’t have to apologize. I’m so proud of you and everything you’ve accomplished with the Alliance. Knowing you were out there kicking ass gave me so much hope, it’s what got me through those two years. Please don’t apologize.” Garrus chanced a glance back at them to see Jane place her hand on the seat between them, palm opened in a silent request. Shepard stared at her before looking down and slowly taking her hand, giving it a squeeze.
“Okay.” Shepard sighed as though releasing a great weight, “I understand. Thank you for telling me about all of this, Jane. I had no idea, but it explains a lot.” She snorted at that, chuckling grimmly.
“Yeah, well, there’s more to tell, so buckle up. But I think we’re almost there, so it’ll have to wait for later.”
Their ‘fight’, if it could be called that, through the Red’s base of operations was over almost before it began. They were certainly armed, but hardly trained or prepared. They were exactly what Garrus had suspected: a small-time gang looking to expand but completely unprepared for the realities of the galaxy.
“I alerted C-Sec to this location before we entered, they should be here anytime.” Jane stated as she strode through the hallways, stopping only occasionally to peer into rooms. “Ah ha.” She murmured as they turned a corner and encountered a series of locked doors. Checking that they were all ready, Jane pulled up her omni-tool and ran a hack to unlock the doors, dropping her weapon as soon as she registered the huddled women inside.
“Spirits…” Garrus murmured as he took in the cramped, stained cots and mattresses, and the dirty and bedraggled girls clutching each other, their hair lank and their eyes shadowed and haunted. More than one winced or cowered as Jane took a step into the room.
“You’re safe now. C-Sec are on their way and they’ll take you out of here, get you somewhere safe and help you. Just sit tight, you’re going to be alright.” She stated calmly and evenly as she glanced around the room, her face drawn and pinched with restrained anger. It was the same in the following two rooms.
“My god.” Shepard growled as they left the final room of scared girls, shaking his head in shocked disbelief. Garrus grunted his own disgust, shaking his head.
“I saw plenty of similar cases during raids we conducted when I was with C-Sec. Poor girls get tricked into believing they were being brought to the Citadel to start a better life, end up being trafficked into the sex slave trade instead. Plenty also end up here after being snatched up during batarian raids on outer colonies. Disgusting, but not unique by any means.”
“I’m guessing the room up ahead in the main office. Get ready.” Jane said as they neared the final door. She palmed it open to reveal a small but surprisingly well furnished room. Taking up most of the room was a large desk strewn with datapads, a console open with pictures of scantily clad women of various species.
Behind the desk stood a man, gun in one hand, his other raised one of his earpieces as he spoke frantically into his com. Each of their weapons was trained upon him in an instant, before he could even register them.
“Don’t move.” Jane barked as she took a deliberate step forward, and he froze before he could raise his handgun. “Put the weapon down, hands where I can see them.”
“Janie Shepard?” The man asked incredulously as he carefully dropped the weapon and put his hands in the air slowly, his face bordering confusion. "What happened to Finch?" Something seemed to dawn on him and his expression slowly morphed into something caught between fear and rage. “What the fuck are you-”
The shot rang out through the small space, the crack echoing down the hall. Blood sprayed and the man crumpled like a rag doll, a bloody hole drilled neatly between his eyes. Garrus was vividly reminded of the first time he’d met Jane just after she’d shot the man sent to harass Doctor Michelle during their hunt for Saren.
They stood stock still, and Garrus almost felt as though if he moved, it would break some sort of spell. After a moment, Jane took a deep breath in, then let her arm fall to her side as she exhaled slowly and holstered her weapon.
“Jane,” Shepard exhaled sharply, and Garrus turned to see him level his sister with a stern look. “You didn’t need to kill him.” Jane whipped around, her eyes shining with cold fire.
“It wasn’t your choice to make. He didn’t torment you or make years of your life a living hell, at least not like he did mine .” She snapped, and Shepard immediately seemed to wilt, guilt flashing in the set of his shoulders.
“Then how is this -” He gestured to the dead body laying on the floor, blank eyes staring in shock, “-any different than the situation with Sidonis?” Garrus blinked as the name shot through him, an unexpected blow to an injury still raw.
“This was nothing like that.” Jane turned away from them, the shorter locks of hair that framed her face slightly obscuring her expression. She turned to glance back at Shepard, who raised a single eyebrow at her, then scoffed and looked away again, "It was only a little bit like that. Beria was a piece of trash and I did everyone a favor by taking him out. He wasn't going to turn over a new leaf, he wasn't going to do anything meaningful with his life, and the world is better off without him."
Jane turned around to face them fully, her face a mask of fury. " Those girls are better off without him." She jabbed her finger in the direction of the rooms they'd just left. "I lived in a flat with a bunch of his girls until I ran away and joined the Alliance. You made sure I knew how to defend myself, and so I got away with little more than a black eye most of the time. Eventually they all learned not to fuck with me. But you should have seen what he and his men did to them on a regular basis." She snarled as her eyes narrowed. “You won’t make me feel bad for what I did. He can’t hurt any more girls where he’s gone.”
“Fine, point taken.” Shepard relented, holding his hands up in submission, “It might not be how I would have handled it, but we can debate ethics later.” Jane opened her mouth to retort, but Garrus stepped forward to place a hand of her arm in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. She froze, and as their eyes locked, she seemed to hold her breath.
“It’s okay.” Garrus murmured quietly as he noticed how tense she was, “It’s over, he’s gone. Like you said, he can’t hurt you or anyone else ever again.” Some of the fire seemed to leave her, and a moment later she took a deep breath as she looked away. Shepard took a step toward her, placing a hand on her other arm.
“I’m sorry, Jane, I didn’t mean-”
“Let’s just get out of here.” Jane muttered, stepping between the two of them abruptly and turning down the hall. Shepard and Garrus exchanged a glance before following after her.
The ride back to the Normandy docking bay was completed in silence, and no one said a word to the three of them as they stepped through the airlock, their armor blood splattered and their faces stoney. In silence, they made their way down to the crew deck, and Jane led them through into the port observation deck. Without missing a beat, she turned and beelined straight for the bar, leaning over it to pull out three glasses.
Garrus hesitated at the door, watching as Shepard made to join her. Jane looked up and Garrus shot her a questioning look, but she smiled slightly and gestured to one of the open seats, the invitation clear. Jane seated herself in the middle, each of them taking the seats on either side of her. Once the drinks were poured, she took a sip, sighed, and looked up at the ceiling.
“EDI, you there?” Silence met her question, and as it dragged on, Garrus realized how odd it felt to not have the AI’s constant presence while aboard the Normandy. Jane took another sip before putting down her drink, pulling out her omni-tool, and striding around the room as she scanned. Returning to her seat, she grabbed her drink again with a huff. “Well, I think we’re safe, but if you find me dead in my bed tomorrow morning, we’ll know I’m wrong.” She drawled sarcastically, causing Shepard to roll his eyes.
“Surely you’re being a tad dramatic.”
“We’ll find out, I guess.”
“What is all this about, Jane? Why all the lies, all the secrecy, all the sneaking about? You opened up about everything with the Reds, but what about everything else? You promised to tell me everything.”
“You’re right, I did.” She paused at that, looking down at her drink before continuing, “When you… when you died, the council made me a Spectre.”
“They what? ” Shepard’s eyes popped as his drink stopped an inch from his mouth. He put it down as she stared at his sister, who continued to gaze down into her drink. Garrus took a sip of his own, his mind wandering back to when he’d first heard Jane recount the story in the small office at the embassies.
“They’d gotten wind of a huge project Cerberus had been working on and asked me to go undercover to figure out what it was.”
“Wait, so, this whole time…?”
“Yeah.” Jane took a sip, and Garrus looked down at her to see the weary exhaustion on her face, his heart tugging. Shepard sat up and looked away, his eyes wide as he ran a hand over his neatly buzzed hair.
“Holy shit, Jane. You’ve been undercover this whole time. You never joined Cerberus, you’re not one of them, you never…” He trailed off, the relief in his voice nearly palpable.
“No, of course not. I’m not crazy.” Jane scoffed, turning to raise an eyebrow at her brother. “And, honestly, I’m not sure if I should feel insulted or not that you thought me capable of that.”
“You gave me no answers and you’ve been acting oddly. For all I knew, you had gone crazy.”
“Well, I haven’t.”
“It all makes sense. You’ve been sneaking off to send reports to the council, haven’t you?”
“For the most part, yeah, among other things. Getting a hold of contacts, gathering necessary intel. You know.”
“So that explains why the council knew as much as they did when I first met with them.”
“Yeah, sorry to ruin the surprise. I only told them what they needed to know, I’m not tattling on you.” She sat upright, her eyes growing serious. “They’ve asked me to keep an eye on you and report back to them, but I won’t. You can trust me, I’m on your side. I’m always on your side.”
“I know. I never should have doubted you.” Shepard raised a hand to place on her shoulder, giving it a familiar squeeze. “Now, start from the beginning, tell me everything.”
The story was no different than the first time Garrus heard it from her, but he found himself just as engrossed and astonished. They’d all made it to the bottom of their cups by the time the story ended, but no one seemed inclined to pour another.
“Huh. It explains so much.” Shepard murmured after she’d finished, scratching his chin in consideration. “All the C-Sec officers deferring to you, knowing interesting people such as Zaeed and Kasumi, all the unanswered questions.” They sat there for a little, slowly sipping their drinks in silence until he continued, “I’ve spent so much of my life thinking of you as just my little sister, but you’re really something else, Jane. I’m really impressed. You went through a lot while I was dead.”
“I did what I had to.”
“Maybe, but I’m proud of you.” Shepard stood up from the bar and took a step back. Jane turned to face him, but he grabbed her suddenly and pulled her into a tight hug. She stood there in surprise for a moment before returning the hug with equal enthusiasm.
Garrus couldn’t help a pleased chuckle, and as they parted, Shepard shot him an amused glance. “You’ve been pretty sly about all this, haven’t you, Garrus? None of this seems a surprise for you. How long have you known?” Garus cleared his throat, feeling mild embarrassment at being caught out.
“Since you sent me after her last time we were on the Citadel. I may have bent the truth a little, she wasn’t quite as hard to track as I let on.” He shot Jane a smug smirk, which caused her to roll her eyes and smile, “Caught her going into the Spectre offices and she swore me to secrecy.”
“Aaah, I see. Well, I’m a little miffed, but it’s hard to be angry. I can understand the need for secrecy, Cerberus won’t be happy when they find out you’ve been leaking information.”
“I may have fucked that all up with my actions today, though.” Jane sighed, frustration evident in her voice. “I waved my Spectre privileges around a little too much.”
“It’ll be okay. If the Illusive Man tries to pull anything, I’ll think of something.” Shepard stated firmly, causing Jane to chuckle.
“Thanks, John.”
“Of course.” He replied, but after a moment, he continued, his voice quiet, “Jane, I’m sorry I’ve doubted you all these weeks. I should have known better.”
“ No .” Jane insisted, her voice hard, “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who’s sorry. I could have figured out a way to tell you sooner than this, I just…” She paused, seeming to struggle for words before continuing, “I’m the one who shouldn’t have doubted you. When I first found you alive, I was so scared.”
“I remember.”
“No, I mean… I knew you were John Shepard, but I wasn’t sure if you were really you , or if they’d altered you somehow. I don’t know, I just felt like I couldn’t be sure. But the more time I’ve spent with you, the more positive I’ve become that you’re really my brother. My kind, loving, dorky, idiot brother.” She grinned at him after that, and Garrus felt something tight around his chest loosen at the familiar sight. Shepard’s face, however, seemed to wilt, his eyes dropping.
“You really think so?” He asked, his voice laced with creeping doubt. She lifted a gauntleted fist and bumped her armored knuckles against his hardsuit’s chest plate affectionately.
“If I didn’t honestly believe that you were truly you , I wouldn’t have confided everything in you tonight.” Jane stated plainly, causing Shepard to smile down at her, his face softening and warming. Without warning, he wrapped his arms around her in a big hug, squeezing her tight and causing her to yelp in surprise.
“Shit, Jane! You’re a Spectre! That’s two in the family, Mom and Dad would have been so proud!” Shepard chortled, throwing his head back as Jane struggled against him.
“John! Put me down!” She laughed as he lifted her up, giving her a gentle shake before putting her back down on the ground again.
Garrus felt himself smile at the display, particularly the huge grin on Shepard’s face as Jane punched his shoulder the moment he released her. There was an ease and relaxedness to Shepard that he hadn’t seen since before his death, and in that moment he realized exactly how heavily his sister’s secrets had been weighing on him. Jane had always been a rock for Shepard, and not having her to rely on had been taking a toll on him.
The drinks probably helped, too.
“Okay, okay. I need to get some work done before we ship out tomorrow, I have to go over the manifest for all the supplies we picked up.”
“Are you sober enough to work?” Jane asked, a brow raised as she turned to look at the empty glasses still on the bar top.
“I’m not that much of a lightweight, Jane, jeez. Plus-” Shepard shrugged with forced nonchalance, “Since waking up, it seems like I sober up faster than I used to.” Garrus didn’t miss the slight flash of discomfort that flashed across his face. Jane’s smile faded slightly as well, which she covered up by punching him in the shoulder again. “Ouch, stop that! I’ll be fine, I’ll just pick up something to eat on my way back upstairs. I’m going to leave before you can hit me again.” Shepard headed toward the door, but paused and turned back to look at Jane. “Thanks, Jane. For telling me everything.”
Jane, who had returned to her seat at the bar beside Garrus, smiled and shrugged. “Sorry it took me so long.” They shared a smile before Shepard turned and left, the door closing behind him. The moment he was gone, Jane leaned back against the bar with a big sigh. “You’ve been quiet today.” She quipped at Garrus with a small smile and a raised brow.
“I figured you and John needed to figure it out between you. I’m glad you finally got everything out in the open. You both needed that.” He replied thoughtfully, and after a moment, she nodded.
“I suppose you’re right. And it does feel good to have told him everything.”
“I’m surprised you wanted me around for everything, honestly.”
“Garrus, I almost always want you around.” Jane laughed as she leaned forward and kissed his mandible, causing him to hum happily. Their relationship, or whatever it was, was so new, so fresh, that everytime something like that came out of one of their mouths, he found himself stopping to think: wait, is this a dream?
Her hands came up to grip one of his forearms, fingers running over his armor in a seemingly aimless pattern until he heard the click of one of the latches coming undone. He grinned as he watched her pick the armor off him, removing his glove before shifting her attention to his other forearm.
“You’re quick to the point, aren’t you.” He stated, giving up on attempting to quell the anticipation thrumming in his subvocals.
“I’m a girl who knows what she wants.” Jane murmured, smirking as his second hand finally came free. The second she dropped his glove to the floor, he lifted his hands to her face, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips. He was getting better at it, at least he thought so.
“I’m not complaining, far from it.” Garrus muttered as he let his eyes explore her face, taking in every detail. They landed on the hundreds of small, faint, brown spots speckled across her nose and cheeks, letting one of his thumbs come up to ghost across them gently. He considered, for a moment, bringing up some of what had transpired earlier that evening, but instead asked, “What are these?”
“What? My freckles?” She asked, amusement in her voice.
“Yeah. I’ve always wondered, but of the many things I’ve read about humans, they’ve never come up.” She raised an eyebrow at that before replying.
“They’re just a part of my skin. Some humans have them, some don’t. I think it’s a regional thing. In the one picture I have of my mother, she has them, too. I think even some asari have them.” Jane trailed off before looking up at him as he let his thumb brush over them again. “You don’t mind them, do you?” He caught the slight hesitation in her voice
“No, of course not.” Garrus said hurriedly, “I love them. They look like stars in the sky.” He whispered, causing her to flush pink, a small smile spreading across her face.
“God, what did I do to deserve you?” She asked tiredly as she leaned forward to lean her forehead against his with a small nuzzle. After a moment, he drew away, inspecting her closely.
“You sound exhausted, would you like to go lay down?” He asked hesitantly, despite the fact that he dreaded missing out on even a second of time alone with her.
“No, I can think of better ways to spend my time right now…” She grinned just as he heard the click of his chest piece’s latches coming undone. Glancing down, he saw that her fingers had secretly snaked up to continue on their mission to free him from his armor. She sobered for a moment as she added, “Thanks for the support today. It was comforting knowing you had my back.” It felt as though something in his chest was expanding, his heart flipping buoyantly as he leaned in to nuzzle her cheek.
“Always.”
Chapter 40: Part 2: Chapter 15
Summary:
In which Garrus is a complete and utter sap.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 15
The Normandy SR2
It didn’t take long for them to make their way from the Citadel to the Dholen System in the Far Rim. Garrus had been confused, at first, why they were heading out to the far edge of the galaxy, but then Shepard showed him their newest dossier and he understood.
Tali’Zorah vas Neema had finally been tracked down. They were on their way to see about recruiting her. Garrus couldn’t quite figure out why she would be at the backend of nowhere, but he was excited to see the quarian again.
As he stepped out of the elevator, Garrus turned the corner and come face to face with Jane. His eyes widened. She’d clearly just left the showers, wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a tank top. Around her shoulders was a towel, which she had one hand in as she used it to dry her hair.
Her shoulder length hair.
“Hey, Garrus.” Jane said warmly as she vigorously rubbed her hair with the towel before returning it to lay across her shoulders. She gave her head a shake before running her fingers through her hair, dislodging a few tangles. “What do you think?”
“It’s shorter.” He stated dumbly as he struggled to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. He knew humans cut their hair, Ridgefield had apparently gotten his cut every month religiously, but Garrus had never really given it much thought before.
“Yes. It is.” Jane said in much the same way one might point out that space was big, her eyebrow raised. He hurried to continue.
“But I like it, it looks good. It reminds me of how it looked when we first met.” She smiled again at that. “Can I touch it?”
“Of course. You don’t really need to ask, I don’t mind.” With that, he took a half step forward to close the gap between them, lifting his hand up to run his fingers through it. He marveled at how the water clung to it, making it stick together in larger locks. “Chakwas did a really good job, it looks great.”
“Wait, what?” She asked with confusion as she tilted her head to the side slightly, “What makes you think Chakwas had anything to do with it?”
“Oh, I just assumed that something like that would need to be done by a medical professional. Removing a part of your body seems like a major procedure.” By the amusement quickly suffusing her face, he could tell they were on wildly different pages, and he felt an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck.
“Of course not, I had Gabby do it right here in the bathroom.” He felt his eyes widen at that, and she continued, “Garrus, human hair has no feeling to it. It’s not a living part of our body. Kind of like fingernails or talons. It’s pretty much just cosmetic.”
“Oh.” Garrus felt an odd stab of disappointment lance through him at that, and he looped a lock of her hair around his finger absently. “I didn’t realize you couldn’t feel anything. It feels good to touch it, I’d kind of hoped it felt good for you, too.” Her face softened at that, the amusement being replaced by a warmth that made something flutter in his belly.
“I wouldn’t say I feel nothing, it feels good on my scalp. I like when you play with my hair.” He felt himself brighten at that.
“Good to know. I’ll still be gentle with it, then.” He said, which caused her to laugh as her eyes sparkled.
“Well, not too gentle, I hope.” Jane murmured quietly, her voice husky in a way that turned the flutters in his belly into a roiling mess, “A girl likes her hair pulled every now and then.”
“Is that so?” Garrus purred, forcing himself to contain the anticipation in his subvocals, “What, like this?” He carefully fisted his fingers in her hair, tugging her head gently to the side to expose her neck. The smell of her washed over him as he stepped even closer, tantalizing as he leaned in toward her. A small, pleased gasp escaped her lips as she leaned in as well, her hands coming up to rest on his waist, her fingernails digging into him in a way that made him growl lightly.
Nearby, a door whooshed open.
“Eeeep!” Someone yelped in surprise, and Garrus released Jane’s hair as they sprang apart quickly. He looked up to see Gabby standing in the bathroom doorway, her eyes wide and her hand mostly covering a widening grin. “I’m- I’m so sorry to disturb you guys! I’ll just-” She quickly snaked around them, giving them a wide berth, before darting into the elevator, a nervous laugh trailing behind her.
“Shit,” Jane breathed, and he turned back to see her rubbing her face, “I forgot about her. Give it an hour and the entire ship is going to know about us.”
“Ah well, we had a good run.” He chuckled and she looked up at him with a crooked grin.
“Well, I was about to head upstairs to work on one of my models for a little before we arrive at Haestrom. Would you like to come up and take a look at it? It’s a really neat one.” She started toward the elevator, turning to look back at him.
“Sure, I’d love to see it.” Honestly, he didn’t deserve to be this happy.
“John?” Jane called out as they stepped into his quarters, but they were met with silence. She took a few steps forward as she looked around, but stopped when she saw no one. “Huh, I guess he must be in the CIC or something.” With a widening smile, she looked back at Garrus and reached for his hand. “Well, since he’s not here… Seems a waste of a good bed.” She stepped backward toward the large bed, pulling him with her, “Maybe we could pick up where we left off downstairs…”
Garrus let her pull him down the small set of steps, but they both froze as a soft snore reverberated through the loft. Their eyes shot to the prone figure draped across the couch.
“Ah, not again…” Jane’s face wilted as she let go of Garrus’ hand and walked over to where Shepard lay snoring lightly. “I keep telling him to use the bed, but I keep finding him passed out on the couch.” She sighed as she knelt down to pick up the dropped datapad from the floor near where Shepard’s hand dangled. Placing it down on the table, she watched the sleeping man for a moment, considering.
“Do you find him like this often?” Garrus whispered as he took a seat on the end of the bed, watching as Jane placed a gentle hand on her brother’s back, rubbing it tentatively.
“Yeah,” She murmured as she stood up and crossed over to a drawer to pull out a light blanket before returning to drape it carefully over the sleeping Commander. Her sure movements suggested it wasn’t the first time this scene had played out. Jane stood over him and watched him for a moment longer before returning to sit beside Garrus on the bed.
“He puts up a good front for the crew, but I’m starting to feel like this mission is wearing on him a bit.” He said quietly, and Jane nodded as she leaned forward to place her elbows on her knees.
“Yeah, I think so, too. And I haven’t been doing much to alleviate that.” Her voice was weary as she hung her head, her towel laying across her shoulders blocking his view of her face.
“You guys have seemed a lot more close the past week or so since the incident with the Reds.” Garrus pointed out hesitantly, bringing a hand up to rest on her back, “I bet that has been a huge load off for him. And before that, you were doing the best you could, given the situation. No one can blame you for that.” She sat up a little, lifting her head to glance at him over her shoulder with a sad smile.
“I suppose. But I feel like I’m not enough. He needs better support than just me.”
“Well, he has me, too. And, honestly, the crew seems to be taking to him pretty quickly. Pretty soon, this is going to be Shepard’s crew, not Cerberus’.” She chuckled at that as she sat up and leaned her head on his shoulder. He hummed contentedly, bringing his hand around to rest on her shoulder, pulling her closer.
“True. Very true. But still…” Jane pulled back just enough to look up at him, “I just wish he had someone. Someone who-” She cut off suddenly as their eyes locked. Her face softened as she gazed up at him and he felt his heart thud hard in his chest. It wasn’t very often that he got to see her looking vulnerable, she always seemed to be a pillar of confidence and determination.
Garrus wasn’t sure what she saw as she looked up at him, but a soft pink flush started to suffuse her cheeks. After a moment, she looked away again and brought a hand up to run through her hair. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever understand why she’d picked him of all people, but he wasn’t about to complain.
“I’m lucky to have you.” She whispered, and then it was completely impossible to contain the pleasure in his subvocals. Standing, he offered his hand down to Jane, which she took, letting him pull her to her feet and into his arms. He hugged her tightly to him, marveling at how their dramatically different bodies could still come together so perfectly.
“My thoughts, exactly.”
A few hours later found Garrus suited up and ready to head planetside alongside the rest of the ground team. Their initial reports regarding the situation down on Haestrom seemed grim at the very best, and it seemed like a miracle that they’d shown up when they had. Hopefully, they would be able to track down Tali and get her out of there safely.
He was one of the last ones ready to go, most of the team already waiting on the shuttle. As he neared the shuttle, he spotted Jane leaning against one of the nearby crates, staring down at her helmet in her hands with a thoughtful expression he couldn’t place. At the sound of his footsteps, however, her head snapped up and she smiled as her eyes landed on him.
“You sure took your sweet time, Big Guy.” She grinned as she shoved her helmet under one arm before giving her head a small shake, her hair fanning out. She gave it a ruffle with her fingers, giving it a roguish, ‘just rolled out of bed’ sort of look that perfectly matched her playful grin.
“What do you think now that it’s brushed and dried?”
“Stunning.” Garrus grinned back at her as he looked around to find them alone. He took a step closer, completely unable to keep his distance, “But it’s much less fun to play with when I have my gloves on.” He muttered as he lifted a hand to flip a single red lock. Jane opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by a gagging sound behind him.
Garrus turned his head to see Jack strutting toward the shuttle, her expression caught between amused insinuation and utter disgust. She sneered at them, rolling her eyes.
“Ugh, get a room, Princess.” She muttered as she brushed past them roughly.
“Get a life, Jack.” Jane shot back, only to be met with an amused bark of laughter as the other woman ducked into the shuttle. Jane sighed as she turned her attention back to Garrus. “I knew Gabby was going to tell everyone.”
“In her defense,” Garrus pointed out, “We haven’t been very good at keeping it to ourselves…” Jane considered that for a moment before shrugging, chagrin on her face.
“Touché.” She admitted, and Garrus chuckled as he slid his helmet on his head, doing up the latches to seal it.
“Ready?” He asked as he looked down at her. Jane seemed to consider him for a moment, her expression almost tentative. “What’s wro-” In an instant, she reached up to grab the sides of his helmet, pulling him down closer to her. She quickly pressed a kiss to the glass of his faceplate, letting go as his breath caught in his lungs. Hastily, she rammed her helmet onto her head and looked away.
“ That was stupid. Don’t tell anyone I did that.” She demanded over their personal com channel as she turned back to him and jammed a finger into his chest, causing him to fight back a laugh.
“ Well, don’t tell anyone I liked it. ” He shot back as she took a step backwards. Laughing, she turned and entered the shuttle without further ado.
Haestrom was so much worse than he’d anticipated. They’d known about the oddly intense sun beforehand, hence the order to bring their helmets. But the sizzling of his shields baking bothered him so much more than he’d expected. The team darted from patch of shadow to patch of shadow, the silence of the empty colony broken only by the far off sound of explosions and the crackling of their barriers in the fierce sunlight
“ Okay, you heard the man. We need to get our hands on those demolition charges in order to get past that debris. Jane, Garrus, I want you to both take up positions and cover us. Keep the geth off our backs while we search for the charges. Got it?” Shepard barked through the com channel, helmeted like the rest of them.
“ Yes, Sir. ” Jane responded, and soon she and Garrus found themselves the best vantage point from which to see the battlefield laid out before them. Sniper rifles in hand, they took turns ducking out of cover to take shot after shot, geth falling one by one under their barrage.
“ Feels good to be doing this again. Just us, a couple of rifles, and a good ol’ battle of skills .” Jane commented over their personal channel, and Garrus couldn’t help but grin at her, even if she couldn’t see it.
“ Just like old times. ” He watched as she took aim, her body perfectly still, her arms strong and lithe. No matter what she was doing, she always looked fantastic, often almost otherworldly, like some sort of warrior spirit. He blinked at that thought, shaking his head. Wow, he sounded absolutely besotted. Perhaps he was, at that. She'd taken up residence in his head and wouldn't leave.
“ What, exactly, are you staring at, Big Guy?” She asked with evident amusement, and he realized she must have caught him looking.
“ Oh, uh…”
“It’s okay, you’re allowed to look.” She teased and he could just barely see her wink through the glass of her helmet. “Just don’t let John see you slacking.” Just then, the ground shook with a thundering explosion, the shockwave causing the air to hit them like a wall.
“ Jane, Garrus, good job. Thank you for keeping the geth off us. The charges went off, we’ll wait for you to join us before we press forward.” Shepard’s voice reached them through their coms and they nodded at each other before switching out their sniper rifles and standing up. “ Hopefully Tali isn’t too much further ahead. We need to reach her before the geth do.” Shepard continued, his voice hard with anxiety. As they made their way down toward the group, Garrus couldn’t help but notice Jane’s sudden shift from relaxed and amiable to quiet and thoughtful.
“ You okay? Something on your mind?” Garrus asked, switching back to their personal channel. She glanced at him quickly before bringing a finger up to tap her helmeted chin in consideration.
“ Yeah… I just had a thought.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t know, it’s just a hunch, but-”
“Hurry up, you two.” Shepard snapped, causing them both to pick up their pace.
“ I’ll tell you later, don’t let me forget.” She said before breaking into a trot.
It felt like ages until they actually managed to track down Tali. By the time they made it into the bunker she was in, Garrus could almost feel himself starting to pant from the heat of the intense sunlight. The moment they stepped foot into the bunker and closed the door, more than one person pulled their helmet off, and Garrus wasn’t surprised to see the humans were nearly dripping with sweat. That was one biological function he didn’t envy. Jane’s hair was wet with it and she lifted a gauntleted hand to brush a few damp strands from her forehead
“Thank you, Shepard.” Came Tali’s melodic, filtered voice as she glanced at them over her shoulder from where she worked at a terminal, “If not for you, I-”
“Tali!” Jane called out, putting down her helmet and striding toward the quarian with her arms thrown out.
“Jane? Wha-” Jane grabbed her in a big hug, grinning as Tali flailed a bit in her arms, “ Keelah, Jane! Even with my filter, you smell awful.” Tali choked out, causing Jane to burst into laughter and put the other woman down.
“Sorry! Even with my suit’s atmospheric regulation, that sun was brutal. Once we get back to the Normandy, I’ll take another shower.” Jane took a step back, but continued to grin at her. “It’s good to see you, Tali! It’s been a long time.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Jane. You stopped replying to my messages ages ago, I was starting to get really worried about you.” Tali replied and Jane lifted a hand to rub the back of her neck. Garrus could see that the Tali that stood before them now was different from the girl they’d said goodbye to all those years ago. She’d been little more than that: a girl, alone amidst a galaxy set against her kind. But this woman had come into her own, no longer saddled with the wavering doubt of her girlhood. She stood tall, confident, and sure of herself in a way that seemed to radiate off her, despite her clear exhaustion.
“Ah, yeah, sort of a long story. I can explain later.” Jane stated before gesturing back to Garrus. At that, he stepped forward, gaining Tali’s surprised attention.
“Good to see you, Tali.” He extended his hand toward her, coming to a stop just beside Jane.
“Garrus! It’s good to see you, as well.” Tali said as she took his hand in a friendly shake. “I shouldn’t be surprised to see you with these two.” Tali pointed out, her voice amused and laced with a suggestion, her shining eyes narrowing slightly as she tilted her head toward Jane. Jane looked at him with a crooked grin.
At the sound of slightly shuffling feet behind him, Garrus turned to see Shepard stepping forward, a slight hesitation present in his face. The atmosphere of cheerful greeting seemed to shift at that moment, becoming something more uncertain, tentative. He could instantly see a change in Tali, her confidence seeming to falter while at the same time she stood a tad taller, as though to make up for it.
Shepard seemed oddly unsure of himself, as though he didn’t quite know what to do with his hands. It struck Garrus as so unlike the usually confident Commander that it was almost funny. Shepard started to hold out his hand before seeming to second guess himself, shifting his arms open as though for a hug.
Tali, who had, in turn, extended her hand to shake Shepard’s, seemed slightly confused and almost flustered when his arms shifted. Before she could adapt, however, Shepard hurriedly dropped his arms and extended his hand again for a now somewhat awkward handshake. Tali looked more than a little perplexed, her helmeted head tilting slightly as she looked down at their shaking hands. Beside Garrus, he could hear Jane snort softly in amusement.
“Tali,” Shepard stated warmly, his smile growing soft as he shook off his slight embarrassment, “It’s good to see you again.” After a moment, he brought a second hand up to cover their conjoined hands affectionately, and Garrus felt his eyes widen at the intimacy of the gesture. It seemed a tad too much for Tali, who stuttered slightly as she replied, the flush evident in her voice.
“Sh-shepard. It’s good to see you again, too.” She managed before they dropped each other’s hands a moment later. As the two of them started into a conversation about Tali’s mission, Garrus chanced a look down at Jane, who’s eyes had narrowed in interest, her smile wide and sly like a cat’s.
“That expression means trouble.” Garrus chuckled and Jane elbowed him in the side, which he returned playfully.
“Suspicions confirmed. I think I have a plan.” She whispered, her voice dripping with self satisfaction as she glanced to where Tali and Shepard had moved to as she showed him some readouts on a nearby console. They stood a hair too close to each other, and Garrus had no trouble understanding Jane’s meaning.
“I get the feeling that your help might not be necessary…” Garrus replied quietly, causing her to roll her eyes.
“You underestimate exactly how daft and blind my brother can be.”
That evening, once they’d showered and gotten their equipment put away, Garrus found himself seated alongside Jane in the Port Observation deck again, as he did so many evenings. He’d heard the jokes before about the two of them being attached at the hip, they’d hung out so often on the SR1 that the joke had started pretty early on. But now he found himself completely unable to stay away from her.
He’d experienced his share of novels and vids over the years, and he understood logically that this was a normal part of a new and exciting relationship. But he seemed to have an all consuming desire to be in her presence at all times. When he couldn’t be, for whatever reason, he found himself daydreaming about her in a way that probably left him appearing to others as though he was completely brain dead or had lost his mind. Then again, perhaps he had . He couldn’t bring himself to care.
“I think one is enough for me for tonight.” Jane murmured from where she was tucked next to him, his arm across her shoulders as he let his fingers play with the loose ends of her freshly cut hair. “I tucked a few waterbottles under the bar, would you mind grabbing one for me?” She asked as she leaned forward to place her empty glass on the low table before them.
“Sure thing.” Garrus stood, stretching as he felt the usual ache that came along with a hard fight well fought. He made his way around the bar and as he ducked below the counter to begin searching for the water bottles, he heard the door open.
“Jane! I was told I’d find you here.” Tali all but squealed as her hurried footsteps carried her into the room. He could hear her bodyweight plop onto the couch beside Jane, causing the human woman to chuckle.
“I see you’re settling in just fine.” Jane stated blandly, only just covering her amusement. “Are you enjoying the new Normandy?”
“Oh, yes! It’s gorgeous. And I definitely want to gush all about that. But first-” Tali paused and Garrus opened a cupboard, failing to find the water. “Tell me about you and Garrus.” Tali’s voice dropped conspiratorially, insinuation clear. Garrus jerked and banged his head on the top of the cupboard, only being saved from making a loud noise by the solid construction of the bar. Wincing, he heard Jane groan in exasperation.
“You heard about that from Gabby, didn’t you.” She stated, her voice pained and irritated.
“Well, from Kenneth, actually.”
“Same thing. They’re pretty much two halves of one whole.” Garrus heard Jane scoff as he opened another cupboard, pleased to have finally found the elusive bottles of water.
“You’re one to talk. So, tell me how it happened! That’s so exciting!” Tali’s modulated voice squealed. Grabbing a few waters, Garrus closed the cupboard and stood up.
“Is this what you guys do when I’m not around? Sit around and gossip about me?” He asked, grinning as Tali nearly jumped out of her suit. “I know I’m terribly interesting, but…”
“Garrus, you bosh’tet! You scared me! What were you doing down there?” Tali exclaimed, her hand on her heart as Jane patted her back. Garrus held up the waters, giving them a little shake.
“Want one?”
“Oh.” Was Tali’s only reply, but after he walked around the bar, she nodded, and he tossed her one. “Thanks.”
He handed the other to Jane, who thanked him as well, and then sat down next to her. Jane opened it, took a sip, and after a moment of consideration, nestled herself back beside him. Garrus took that as permission to wrap his arm around her shoulders again, and Tali lifted one hand up to cup her faceplate with a happy sigh.
“You two are adorable together! So? How did this happen?” Tali urged, settling into her side of the couch, her water bottle forgotten in her hand. Before either of them could answer, Tali broke back in, “Oh! Did this happen sometime during the last two years? You both disappeared, did you run away together? How romantic!” She exclaimed excitedly, and Garrus decided her imagination was running wild with her.
“Whoa there. No, this is a somewhat new development.” Jane grinned as she twisted in her seat to glance up at Garrus, her eyes sparkling with silent laughter. “Garrus isn’t that smooth, I’m not signing up to elope any time soon. Sorry, Big Guy.” He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Oh.” Tali stated with evident disappointment, “But still, I’m really happy for you both. I’ve been rooting for you guys since back on the first Normandy.” Tali sighed happily again, her eyes crinkling in what must have been a smile. Jane looked surprised, turning to look at Tali in confusion, but the quarian continued, “So, Garrus, did you finally make some sort of big romantic gesture?” His free hand came up of its own accord to rub the back of his neck as he shrugged with embarrassment. Tail’s interest came from a much more genuine place than Wrex’s, he was convinced the krogan just liked a good laugh at his expense, but it made him just as uncomfortable.
“Nah, I tricked him into sparing with me so that I could seduce him.” Jane drawled as she crossed her legs and took another sip of her water bottle with complete nonchalance. Garrus snorted at that, raising a browplate at her as his mandibles flicked.
“Huh. As I remember it, you got cold feet and ran away just as things were getting interesting.” He muttered with a smirk and Tali gasped in genuine delight while Jane choked on her sip, nearly spluttering as she turned in her seat again to glare at him affectionately.
“I did not !” She laughed indignantly, giving him a playful shove which only made them laugh more. “Okay, maybe I did a little bit. But we figured it out eventually.” She muttered, her face flushed with pleasure as she gazed up at him. He wasn’t sure how long he held her eyes, but he managed to tear his eyes away from hers as Tali began bouncing happily in her seat.
“Awwww! You guys are like a scene right out of Fleet and Flotilla.” She crooned, causing Jane to smirk as she turned to face the quarian again.
“Speaking of overly sappy romanticism… You’re still head over heels in love with my brother, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. Tali froze, her eyes going wide.
“I- what? Oh, it’s, um… I don’t- I didn’t-” The younger woman stuttered as she looked away, fiddling with the edge of her hood absently. She looked up to see both of them looking at her knowingly and she sighed, “Oh, Keelah… Am I really that obvious?” She asked and Garrus imagined she must be blushing furiously.
“Perhaps a little.” Garrus pointed out, a hint of laughter in his voice, “But besides Shepard, there’s only Jane and me from the old Normandy. So unless you’re as obvious as we apparently are,” He added, his voice becoming a little dry, chuckling as Jane elbowed him lightly in the side, “I think you’ll be fine.”
“Well,” Tali abruptly stood up, brushing imaginary dust off her suit, glancing at them quickly before picking up the water bottle she’d accidentally knocked over in her haste, “I have a lot of… things I need to get to… You know. Settling in, repairs, calibrations… I’m going to get going.” Tali hurried toward the door stiffly as she radiated embarrassment. She paused before stepping through the open door, turning to face them, “It’s really good to be back on the Normandy. And I’m really happy for you guys.” She added, her voice warm and genuine.
“Thanks, Tali.” Jane replied with equal warmth, “We’re happy you’re back on the team, too.” Garrus nodded his agreement, and Tali left, leaving them alone.
“I’ll leave you both be, too.” Jane and Garrus jumped as Kasumi shimmered into view on a couch across the room, grinning like a cheshire cat. “Give you some privacy.”
“Goddamn it, Kasumi. Give us a warning, next time.” Jane hissed without any real heat as the hooded woman all but pranced through the door. Once they were truly alone, Jane seemed to melt into him, finally able to relax. They listened to the silence and the hum of the ship for a moment before Garrus ventured to open his mouth.
“Does she just… do that? Sit around the ship stealthed without anyone knowing?” He asked tentatively, and Jane shrugged.
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s just one of her quirks, I wouldn’t overthink it.” He couldn’t help the perplexed look of surprise that crossed his face, which caused her to laugh. “I think she spends a majority of her time in the armory watching Jacob do push ups.” Garrus didn’t know what to say to that, so he just let it go.
The moments ticked by and Jane looked down at her half drunk water bottle before shifting so that she could turn to get a good look at him. With surprise, he noted the hesitant look in her eyes and he felt himself tense.
“What’s wrong?” He asked carefully, suddenly worried he’d said something wrong.
“Tali said she’d been wanting us to get together since we were all on the SR1.” Jane stated quietly, her voice completely neutral in a way that made him feel nervous.
“Eerrr, yeah. She did.”
“Was that just her being a sappy romantic? Or…?” She trailed off, her eyes seeming to scan his face, searching for something he tried desperately not to reveal. Slowly, her lips seemed to quirk upwards, a smile unraveling and stretching across her face as her eyes glittered with suspicion. “Garrus Vakarian. How long had you been crushing on me?”
Garrus struggled for a moment, panicking at being put on the spot. His first reaction was to search for some sort of escape from the conversation, but her smile caught him. He cleared his throat, searching for the words as he tried his best to subdue his flailing subvocals.
“Honestly? It came on gradually, I don’t really know when it began.” Garrus let his eyes wander, fixating on nothing in particular as he let his mind drift back to their days aboard the SR1, “I can’t pinpoint the exact moment, or the location, or the look, or the words that started it. It was too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew it.” He finished, regretting that he didn’t really have an answer for her. “But it was around the time of the mission on Virmire when I first realized how I felt.” When he looked back at her, his breath caught at the small, tender smile on her lips.
“All this time?” Jane asked quietly, and as his chest tightened, all he could manage was a small nod. “I had no idea.” She murmured as she reached a finger up to trace along the blue markings across his face, gingerly brushing across his bandage with care. “You’re a big softie, you know that?”
“I don’t know if I’ve ever heard myself described that way.” Garrus leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips, which she happily returned. “And what about you?” He had no idea what to expect from her answer and found himself both anticipating it and terrified to hear it.
“Me? Well,” She grinned, “If I had to date it, it’d be from the moment I saw your magnificent scar.” His eyes widened in surprise and he stopped himself from bringing a hand up to feel his scarred mandible.
“Really?” Garrus asked with astonishment, which caused her grin to grow large enough to cause her eyes to crinkle with pleasure.
“Christ, no , you idiot.” Jane laughed, “No, I know the exact moment I knew I felt something more for you.” She added, her voice sobering as she looked down to play with the collar of his shirt, her fingers brushing against his throat in a way that set his blood on fire. “The moment I stepped into that apartment on Omega and you removed your helmet. When I realized who you were, when our eyes locked, I thought my heart was going to explode. I was so unbelievably happy to see you, and I just knew .” She looked back up at him, “I’d thought I’d never see you again, and it broke my heart. Especially how we’d left things. And then that gunship, and I really did almost lose you. For good.” Garrus leaned forward to brush his forehead against hers and she smiled again.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Garrus murmured and she shook her head.
“You were having such a rough time when you first came aboard, and then everything with Sidonis… It just didn’t seem like the right time. Plus, I wasn’t entirely sure how you felt. I had my suspicions, but…” At that, she pulled away a little, leveling him with a look. “Why didn’t you say something? I think I made my feelings pretty clear on more than one occasion.”
“Ah, well, I was just… taking my time.” Garrus flailed before clearing his throat and looking away, completely unable to admit that he’d had almost no idea that she’d been, in retrospect, flirting with him. “You know me. I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink.”
He froze, actually processing the words coming out of his mouth. His eyes met with Jane’s as she stared at him, “Wait. That metaphor just went somewhere horrible.” He muttered and they shared a moment of silence before she bit her lip, attempting and failing to stifle her laughter. Suddenly shifting, she flung a leg over him to settle herself on his lap, her fingers playing with the hem of his shirt as his came up to grip her firmly.
“Just shut up and kiss me again.”
Chapter 41: Part 2: Chapter 16
Summary:
In which Garrus ponders the concept of jealousy.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 16
The Normandy SR2
“Have you seen Jane?” Garrus asked as he stepped into Grunt’s quarters in the port cargo bay, looking around and registering her absence. In his hand was a datapad, entrusted to him by Shepard along with the directions to track down Jane, who apparently had to initial some correction she’d made in one of her recent reports. The more time that passed, the more like his old, workaholic self Shepard became, and Garrus decided that was probably a good thing.
“Huh?” Grunt asked where he sat across the room, his omni-tool open as he read intently. Garrus walked over to peer over the krogan’s shoulder, seeing a picture of some sort of huge, leathery beast.
“Jane. Have you seen her?” He reiterated slowly, his quest becoming more frustrating by the minute. She hadn’t answered her com, she hadn’t been working out in the cargo bay, she hadn’t been in either observation room, she hadn’t been anywhere he’d looked so far. Perhaps she didn’t want to be found? It was her off hours, afterall.
Sighing, Garrus decided he really shouldn’t be surprised by his… what? Girlfriend? They hadn’t discussed labels, but he supposed that’s what she must be? Did humans have some sort of formal ritual for this sort of thing? Maybe he should ask Joker…
“Oh. No, haven’t seen her.” Grunt mumbled as he pulled up a clip from some documentary, computer generated beasts roaring at each other. Garrus watched for a moment before curiosity took over.
“What are those?” Grunt looked up at him quizzically at the unanticipated question.
“Dinosaurs. They used to live on the human homeworld, but I think the humans killed them all or something. I think that’s why humans fight as well as they do even though they’re so soft and squishy. It must be an unforgiving environment.”
“Uh-huh.” Garrus raised a brow at the young krogan, trying and failing not to feel amused.
Looking up, Garrus saw a flash of red through the window. Across the open expanse were the windows looking into the starboard cargo bay, through which he could just make out the back of Jane’s head. He said a hurried goodbye to Grunt, who’s attention had already returned completely to his documentary, and left the room.
Garrus wasn’t exactly worried , but it was hard to put his finger on whatever it was he was feeling as he made his way down the hallway. He felt fairly confident that there was nothing between Jane and Zaeed. Shepard had seemed adamant, and Garrus hadn’t seen anything to make him question the Commander’s thoughts on the matter.
But it was difficult to completely squash the niggling voice in the back of his head when it whispered that Jane was never going to be happy in a long term relationship with a turian. And of all turians to pick, Garrus wasn’t even a prime example of his race. She deserved better than he could offer, and there would always be part of him waiting for her to wake up and realize that.
There was also the chance she hadn’t understood that he was looking for an exclusive relationship. He hoped it wasn’t just some sort of awkward, interspecies misunderstanding. It wasn’t beyond the bounds of possibility, they’d had a few of those already. Though he supposed they were to be expected in a cross species relationship, he really hoped that wasn’t the case here.
Or maybe-
The door opened and he was assaulted by a harsh, smoky aroma that left him coughing. It was a burnt, woody, almost spicy smell that gave him the feeling that his head might start buzzing if he breathed in too deeply. Once he stopped coughing, it was sort of nice in an odd and exotic kind of way. Turians didn’t smoke like some of the other races, the lack of lips made it somewhat difficult.
Turning, he saw Zaeed lounging back on a folding chair sipping something slowly as he gazed down at the cards in his hands. Across from him sat Jack, straddling a backwards facing folding chair, leaning forward to put a bottle of beer on the low crate between them. She exchanged it for a new card from a deck beside an ashtray full of cigars stubs.
Perched atop a nearby crate, sat Jane, one knee drawn up to her chest, the other dangling over the edge as she brought a cigar to her lips. As she drew in air through the cigar, the lit end flared for a moment before dimming again as she drew it away from her. Blowing out a stream of smoke from between her lips, she looked down at her cards. She tossed a small chit onto a loose pile on the crate before looking up to notice Garrus as he took a step closer.
“Garrus!” She exclaimed cheerily, and he felt his worries melt away at the pleasure present in her face as she laid eyes on him. Her odd, five fingered hand managed to clutch not only her cigar, but also a small cup of an amber liquid he knew she preferred. She took a small sip before leaning forward to place it down on the crate, followed by the cigar, and then a card into the discard pile. “Just teaching these nuggets a thing or two about cards.” Jane chuckled before grabbing her cup again, resituating herself on her crate. The other two grumbled, but didn’t argue.
“Looks like you’re having fun.” Garrus chuckled as he came to a stop beside her, leaning his hip against her crate and tilting his head to catch a glimpse of her cards, which were surprisingly good. At least, they were if they were playing the asari game he thought he recognized. She looked up at him with a small smirk. He held up the data pad, which she looked at with a raised eyebrow, her lips curling downward into a frown.
“What’s that?” Jane grumbled in a way that told him she knew exactly what it was.
“Work, courtesy of Commander Shepard.”
“Greeeat.” She drew out as she completely ignored the data pad, opting instead to lean forward to grab her cigar from the ashtray along with a new card. “Well, I’ll take a look at it in a bit.” Garrus snorted lightly, retaining the unwanted datapad as he crossed his arms. “Your turn, old man.”
Zaeed grunted as he rolled his eyes and sneered before glancing at Jane, his eyes weighing and measuring. He narrowed his eyes before looking down at his cards again, then he grumbled something under his breath before adding a chit to the pile and making his move.
“So, Vakarian,” The older man started as he eyed Garrus where he stood beside Jane, “What do you law abiding sorts get up to for fun?” Garrus scoffed, his mind drifting back over the last two years.
“Not sure if I’d call what I got up to on Omega ‘law abiding’, but hmmm…” He stopped and thought but was interrupted by Jack’s derisive bark of laughter.
“Oh, don’t give me that shit. You’re a goodie little two shoes from your stupid crest down to your weird, two toed boots.” Jack sneered at him in a way that was almost friendly for her standards. It was funny, the things you could get used to.
“Well, I mean, he was a cop .” Jane chuckled, shooting him a side eyed grin before taking another drag on the cigar. He couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Yeah, and look at me now, hanging out with you lowlifes. I’ve really come down in the world.” The others all chuckled at that and he waited for them to simmer down before he continued. “Actually, I used to be into painting.” Jane blinked at him, her cup halfway to her lips.
“Seriously?” She asked, and he nodded.
“Yep. Was all set to go off to school for it. But it wasn’t in the stars, so I ended up in C-Sec instead.”
“Wow.” Jack muttered, looking up at him with a surprised and considering look. “Gotta admit, didn’t see that coming.”
“Oh man, Big Guy. The longer I know you, the more interesting you become.” Jane all but purred as she leaned toward him, grabbing front of his cowl and pulling him in for a quick kiss.
“Ugh, really ? Take that lovey dovey bullshit somewhere else.” Jack groaned as she rolled her eyes and proceeded to toss a chit onto the pile and take her next card.
“You know what, Jack, someday you’re going to fall in love and I’m going to laugh !” Jane hooted as she took another sip of her drink and looked down at her cards.
“I had to work with an artist for a job once.” Zaeed muttered as he leaned forward to pick up his cigar and took a puff from it, “She was absolutely bat shit crazy, that one was. Had no experience with combat what-so-ever, but boy was she trigger happy when she somehow ended up with a gun in the middle of a firefight. Nearly got us all killed.” He put the cigar back down before smirking. “Total beast in bed, though.”
“Which brings us back to our original topic.” Jack grinned as she completed her turn and grabbed her beer again, giving it a lazy swirl.
“Which was?” Garrus asked as he watched Jane contemplate her cards before adding another chit to the pile on the crate.
“The best fucking we’ve ever had.” Jack turned to smirk up at him and Garrus fought to keep his face and subvocals neutral.
“Oh?” He chanced a look at Jane, who raised an eyebrow at him as she took another sip of her drink before returning her attention to her cards with a grin.
“I think Jack is probably the winner, though Zaeed certainly had some colorful ones, too.” Jane muttered dryly before completing her turn. Zaeed grunted in acknowledgement and Jack looked on smugly. Garrus couldn’t help but raise his brow right back at Jane.
“I can’t say I’m surprised that that’s what you’re getting up to. I remember a time when you boasted about your sexual exploits to the entire mess hall.” He murmured, remembering the enlightening conversation after they’d all survived Virmire. Jane just shrugged, her expression caught between self satisfied and chagrined.
“What can I say? They were a good audience.” Jane stated before turning to him, her smile widening. “And what about you? You must have an interesting story or two.” She teased, tucking her cards under her leg as she reached a hand up to play with the edge of his cowl. He fought the urge to pull her close and bury his face in her hair.
Struggling to focus, he racked his mind for some story he could share. Part of him could hardly believe she was asking him to share stories of sexual exploits, he’d been under the impression that that wasn’t something you talked about with your significant other. Maybe jealousy wasn’t something humans felt? He was fairly positive they were mostly a monogamous species, though. Damn cultural barriers and misunderstandings.
“I can’t say they’re particularly interesting, per say. My, er, exploits have been pretty tame.” He started, only to be cut off by Jack’s disbelieving snort.
“Until now.” She muttered under her breath at a volume meant to be overheard, and Garrus felt a flush rise up his neck.
“Oh, come on.” Jane teased as her finger traced invisible patterns across his chest, “I’m sure you have a story or two to share.” She looked up at him through her lashes as her smirk widened. How could he say no to a look like that?
“Well, there was this one time, back when I was still serving in the military. We were just about to hit a batarian pirate squad. Very risky.” Garrus looked away, focusing on the memory from what felt like another lifetime, “This recon scout and I had been at each other’s throats. Nerves, mostly. She suggested we settle it in the ring.” He looked back to see three sets of eyes watching him, listening with rapt attention.
“I thought you military types had rules about fighting and fucking.” Zaeed pointed out, and Jack nodded her agreement.
“Alliance ships, maybe. Turian ships have more operational discipline than your Alliance, but fewer personal restrictions.” They both turned to look at Jane, who nodded in agreement. Garrus figured she must have told them about her time training with a turian regiment. “Anyway, She and I were the top-ranked hand to hand specialists on the ship. I had reach, but she had flexibility.”
His audience seemed to be enjoying the story, and Garrus couldn’t deny it was fun to hold the stage. “It was brutal. After nine rounds, the judge called it a draw. There were a lot of unhappy betters in the training room.”
“Okay, okay. That’s fun and all, I always love a good brawl, but what does this have to do with fucking?” Jack sneered, her patience with the story dwindling. Garrus coughed, as his eyes flicked nervously to Jane, who’s expression was blank as she listened.
“We, ah, ended up holding a tiebreaker in her quarters. I had reach, but she had, uh, flexibility.” He finished, doing his best to contain his smirk as he looked back to Zaeed and Jack.
“Now that's what I’m talking about.” Jack’s smile had returned, and Zaeed nodded his agreement.
“Nothing like a good shag to work off a little stress.” Zaeed said before he returned his attention to his cards. The conversation drifted after that, a few more stories were shared, and the game continued. But Garrus couldn’t help noticing Jane’s relative quietness.
“Well, guys, it’s been a blast.” Jane drawled finally, her expression keen and predatory, “But it looks like I’m going to bring this lovely little game to a close ‘cause…” She trailed off as she tossed her hand of cards down utop the pile of chits on the crate between them, “Full colors! Ha!”
The other two groaned and tossed their cards down on the crate, watching with disgruntlement as Jane swiped up the pile of chits and stuffed them into her pockets. After a little gloating from Jane and more grumbles from the others, Garrus stretched and turned toward the door.
“It’s been fun, but I think I’m going to go grab a bite to eat. Jane, I’ll leave this-” He raised the data pad in question, “-up stairs on your bunk. Have fun, guys.” With that, he made his way to the door.
“Hold up.” Jane called after him, and he turned to see her down the last of her drink and take a last drag on her cigar, releasing the smoke as she stubbed it out in the ashtray. With that, she hurried after him. “Until next time, guys.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Jack muttered darkly before finishing her beer. Garrus stepped through the door, Jane following after. As they walked silently toward the elevator, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had something to say. The elevator arrived and they stepped inside before she hit the button for the crew deck.
“So,” She started slowly after a minute, “If you’re not busy, I was thinking we could blow off a little steam. I could do with a bout.”
“Sure, I can always go for a little sparring.” Garrus started, but stopped when he noticed her amused smirk. The door opened onto the crew deck, and something clicked. “We’re on the wrong deck for that, though.” Before he could reach for the control panel, however, Jane stepped forward and placed a hand on his chest, stopping him.
“What if we skipped right to the tiebreaker?” She whispered, her voice low as she looked up at him with eyes filled with promises that made his belly drop out, “We could test your reach… and my flexibility.”
“ Oh! I didn’t-” Garrus cut off as she grabbed his free hand and led him out of the elevator and toward the starboard observation deck. As they entered, the datapad got tossed onto one of the couches, forgotten as his hands found better uses.
Garrus felt his mandibles flutter as she pressed her lips to his mouth plates and he kissed her back enthusiastically. It was amazing how much more at home he felt now with the mechanics of kissing than when they’d first started. Jane tugged him further into the room, causing them both to stumble as they laughed, falling onto one of the couches. Rolling so that she was on top, Jane sat up and quickly pulled her hoodie off over her head, revealing her tank top below.
“Bet I can show you a thing or two about flexibility that you won’t see from some turian.” Jane muttered distractedly as her lips came down to trail hot kisses down his neck, his pulse quickening at the soft, persistent feeling of her. Her words slowly started to process in his mind and his hand paused as it began its adventure up her waist.
He was, admittedly, not very good at this whole interspecies romance thing. Their friendship, followed by whatever this was, had been rife with incidents of slight misunderstandings that were usually funny in retrospect. But in that moment, Garrus had a suspicion that he was finally putting the clues together correctly.
Garrus wasn’t 100% positive, but he was at least fairly certain that he’d managed to make Jane… jealous? Or, at the very least, possessive. Or perhaps she was just feeling competitive. Beyond possibly answering his earlier questions about human courtship, it was almost laughable to think of Jane as feeling threatened when it came to his attraction or interest. And yet, her behavior after his story, followed by her words just now…
“You do realize,” He started, a grin spreading across his face as he grabbed her and flipped them so he was suddenly on top, “That you don’t need to compete with some woman from ages ago who’s name I probably can’t even remember, right?” Garrus propped himself up above her, bending low to gently nip her neck. Looking back up at her, he noted her widened eyes and flushed cheeks, and while they could have been from his touches, he had a feeling that he’d hit the nail on the head.
“What? No, I-” She stumbled over her words, flushing brighter as he grinned wider. It was a refreshing change of pace finally being the one to make her speechless. After a moment, she seemed to come to herself, her lips slowly curling into a challenging grin, “Are you accusing me of being jealous , Vakarian?”
“What’s that human phrase? Ah, yes.” Garrus muttered as he leaned in close to nip her again, just hard enough to make her eyes pop a little, “If the shoe fits, Shepard.”
“Oh, it’s on, Big Guy.” Jane laughed as she attempted to flip them again, instead rolling them off the couch and onto the floor. Garrus landed hard on his back, the laugh pushed out of him with the air in his lungs. She perched atop him, her legs digging into his waist and hips in a way that stole his breath in a completely different way. “I’m going to rock your world so hard that the only name you’ll ever remember is mine.” She whispered as her fingers found the buckles keeping his shirt closed, undoing them with practiced ease.
It was some time later that they sat entangled in each other as they stargazed out the large observation window. Jane leaned her head on his shoulder as he played with a lock of her hair, and Garrus finally brought the hushed conversation back around to his earlier realization.
“Jane, I told you before that this isn’t a fling or a post sparring tie breaker. Not for me.” Garrus whispered as he breathed in the scent of her, letting the comforting smell wash over him. “I care about you more than that. There’s no one in this galaxy I trust more than you. And I-” He faltered, his courage beginning to flag as he struggled to put his feelings into words, “I, uh, I hope you feel the same way about me.”
Jane tilted her head slightly to look up at him from where her head rested on his shoulder. He felt his heart twist in his chest as she smiled softly.
“Of course I do, Garrus. You’re the only thing that makes sense in this whole damn galaxy right now.” Garrus felt the pleasure her words inspired all the way down to his toes, humming contentedly. “So wait a minute,” She continued, picking up her head to look at him with an amused expression, “You trust me even more than you trust my brother?” Jane asked, her words tinged by disbelief.
“Well, I mean…” Garrus chuckled as he shrugged, bringing up a hand to gesture vaguely before them, “That’s different.”
“Uh-huh.” She raised an eyebrow, trying and failing to hide her grin, “Well, now I feel like I have to compete with my brother for your affection. Thanks.”
“Anytime.” She punched him playfully in the arm and he laughed, fending her off. “I try to be serious for one second and now I’m being attacked.”
“I don’t know what you expected.”
Garrus kissed her again. He felt like he had no business being this happy. The moments trickled by, and a small voice whispered up to him from the dismal depths that this was, in all likelihood, temporary. Theirs was a suicide mission, and the chances that they were coming back was slim. Even without that, they put their lives on the line nearly every time they stepped off the Normandy.
Ruthlessly, he squashed the voice back down. If his days with Jane were numbered, then he sure as hell wasn’t going to waste them dwelling on depressing what-ifs.
But it sure was hard not to.
Before they arrived, Jane described Illium as ‘Omega with expensive shoes’, and at first he couldn’t quite figure out what she meant. Sure, he’d heard the rumors over the years, but he’d never taken them very seriously. That was, until they finally stepped foot in Nos Astra.
At first glance, the city seemed sparkling and beautiful, not unlike the pictures he’d seen of other asari worlds. But, as Jane liked to joke when poking fun at him, you can take the turian out of C-Sec, but you can’t take C-Sec out of the turian. As they followed after Shepard, it was impossible to miss the signs of the city’s darker underbelly; deals happening under the table, indentured servants carrying packages for their masters, subtle advertisements whose actual meaning made his eyes pop.
By the time they made it to Liara’s office, he’d had his fill of the city. At least Omega wore its stink and grime on the outside, loud and proud about its faults and sins. Illium was just as awful, it just hid it better.
“And you lived here for how long?” Garrus hissed quietly at Jane as they ascended the steps toward the office. She glowered, her eyes set.
“Long enough.”
The meeting with Liara ended up being a somewhat short affair, to Garrus’ surprise. His memory of the young asari had been of the wide eyed, naive doctor who’d been infatuated with the Commander. The woman before them now was almost unrecognizable, and though she was friendly and welcoming, she refused to budge when it came to what she was able to do for them.
Once the information had been given and the invitation to join them declined, Shepard seemed to have no more reason to stay. They started making their way out of the office again to meet up with the rest of the ground team in the nearby marketplace. Jane, however, lagged behind.
“You coming?” Garrus turned to ask, seeing her still standing by Liara’s desk.
“Yeah, I just need to talk with Liara a little before we get going. You go on, I’ll catch up.” She stated distractedly and Garrus hesitated as he noted the edge to her voice. Before he could turn to leave, however, she spoke up again, “Actually, would you mind guarding the door for me? Just in case. I trust people here far less than I can throw them.”
Questions exploded in his head, but with a nod, Garrus retreated to the doorway, letting it close behind him. Taking up position, he realized after a moment that he could, in fact, hear a little through the door. He eyed the secretary as she sat at her desk, her expression too keen for his liking. He continued to keep an eye on her as his translator began struggling through the bits of conversation drifting through the door.
“...too long… promised… not sure…” Liara seemed to be saying, her voice touched with disappointment.
“...sorry, I know I… not my focus…” Jane seemed placating, perhaps seeking forgiveness.
“... about now? Haven’t… awhile…”
“..busy, a lot… sitting around or… will get on it… soon as I can.”
“Good, I’m tired of waiting!” Liara snapped before apologizing.
“...do you need it for? … and Vasir asked for the same… what makes you think Cerberus… Shadow Broker?” Jane asked, her voice confused and frustrated.
“Vasir?” Liara’s voice raised again, this time in alarm, “What do you mean she’s… I’m going to look into… shouldn’t be trusted.”
“...your distance, she’s not… of person who hesitates to…”
“... will be careful. Thank… please hurry.” They said a hurried good bye and Garrus stepped back as the door opened suddenly, revealing a grimacing Jane. Waving him to follow, she started down the stairs. Without a word, he followed after until they left the office, heading out into the open market below.
“What was that about?” Garrus asked as they weaved between market stalls, venders, and patrons.
“Remember how I made Liara a promise in return for some assistance a while back? I haven’t followed through on it yet, but I will.”
The last day of their stay on Illium, the crew was given a little shore leave. The plan was to meet up at a bar called Eternity where Liara had rented a private room for them. Garrus and Jane spent the afternoon together around the markets, and he couldn’t help but feel like it was some sort of blessed slice of normality in a very abnormal life. As they peeked into shops, picked out toys for Shepard’s ‘space’ hamster, and got lunch together, Garrus almost felt as if they were just a normal couple out enjoying each other’s company.
Watching as Jane contemplated which fish to pick out for her brother’s neglected fish tank, it was also easy to forget that she was a Spectre, ranked amongst the galaxy’s most powerful and deadly.
“Ooooh, look at this one, isn’t it pretty?” Jane marveled as a colorful, large finned fish drifted past the glass.
As they stepped into the Normandy’s private room at Eternity later that evening, Garrus was pleased to see the turn out. Just about everyone had shown up, including all of the ground team. He’d had his doubts at first, but they really were starting to come together as they had during the search for Saren. He wouldn’t go as far as to call them a family, yet. But they still had time.
Checking the readout on his visor, Garrus noted with unsurprised disappointment that Jane had pulled ahead in their little kill count game the past few weeks.
“The usual?” He asked, but Jane’s attention had immediately been drawn to a couple standing by the bar. “Jane?”
“Huh? Oh. Yeah, the usual. Your treat this time.” She grinned as she made her way toward her brother and Tali. Garrus followed after, rolling his eyes affectionately.
Shepard and Tali looked up as they approached, and if the relief present on Shepard’s face was any kind of guide, their conversation had probably been as awkward as their body language suggested.
“Hey guys, having fun?” Jane asked cheerily, glancing from one to the other as Garrus gestured to the barkeeper and put in their order.
“Oh, yes. Yes, of course.” Tali hurried to answer, “It’s been good getting to know everyone since joining the crew, and I’m sure once the drinks start flowing, I’ll get to know them way more than I might wish. Though, it won’t be the same without Wrex or… Well, without Wrex.” Tali finished quickly, eyeing both of them, most likely remembering what he’d told her about Horizon.
“Yeah, but he’s doing well on Tuchanka.” Shepard added, “Or else I’m sure he wouldn’t miss this for the world. No one can drink like a krogan, and no krogan can drink like Wrex.” They all shared a laugh at that.
“So, what were you guys chatting about when we got here?” Jane asked offhandedly, thanking Garrus as he handed her her drink.
“Oh. Uh,” Tali started, looking down at the colorful twisty straw sticking out of her drink and fiddling with it, “We were just talking about a few people we overheard in the public room before we were shown back here.” After a moment, Tali took a long draw on her drink before rushing on, “We were just people watching! It wasn’t anything interesting, they were just-”
“There were these two people, a turian and a quarian.” Shepard interrupted, completely undisturbed by the flustered quarian beside him, “The girl had just been through a break up with someone, guy sounded awful. And her friend-” Tali choked on her drink, coughing a few times as Shepard continued, “-was trying to comfort her. It was sweet, really.”
“I… see.” Jane took a sip of her own drink as she patted Tali on the back.
“I guess her ex was a human. When you guys came in I had been trying to explain to Tali that we’re not all awful.” Shepard finished, and Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I mean, I don’t think humans are that bad.” He murmured before taking a sip of his drink, letting his eyes flick to Jane momentarily.
“Is that so?” She asked dryly, a smile beginning to form, “Well, that’s a relief, I was starting to worry.” Shepard sent them a confused look before continuing.
“Anyway, the turian kept suggesting things to help her feel better, and he mentioned that one movie… What was it?” Shepard wondered, his brows furrowing as he tried to remember.
“Fleet and Flotilla!” Tali chimed in quickly, her eyes popping up excitedly, “He suggested they watch Fleet and Flotilla.”
“Yeah, that’s the one. He said it’d won some awards.”
“And it has really good music.” Garrus added, causing all of them to look to him with surprise. “What? My sister’s a fan.”
“Uh-huh.” Jane stated, her disbelief evident, “Admit it, you’re just a closet romantic.” She smiled as she winked at him, causing him to hum happily.
“It’s one of my favorites…” Tali trailed off as she fiddled with her straw again before taking a sip.
“I’ve never seen it, what is it about?” Shepard asked curiously.
“Oh, um, well, actually, I was thinking maybe, since you haven’t seen it, maybe if you have time, at some point, only if it’s not a bother, but maybe we could, uh, maybe we could watch it together…” Tali’s voice slowly seemed to lose steam as she rambled on, the final question coming out as nearly a whisper. Garrus could bet that her helmet was hiding a vicious blush.
“Yeah, that would be great. We could have a crew movie night on the Normandy or something.” Shepard replied cheerily as Jane raised her brows with exasperated affection at her brother while Tali’s shoulders slumped slightly.
“Oh. Yeah, that would be great, too.” Tali murmured with forced cheerfulness, her free hand coming up to fiddle with her hood.
“Didn’t it win some awards when it came out?” Garrus asked, desperate to fill the sudden awkward silence that threatened to envelop them.
“Yeah, it did. A few, actually.” Tali perked up, “One for best cinematography, one for best original soundtrack, and one for best-” She cut off with a small strangled sound, swallowing before looking down at her feet, “for best portrayal of a… cross species… relationship.”
The silence that descended upon them was absolute and so thick that it felt like a stifling blanket. The four of them stood there, no one saying a word as they all worked to avoid each other’s gazes. Tali’s wide, shining eyes were fixed firmly on something around the vicinity of Shepard’s knee, and Jane brought a hand up to cover her face, the telltale signs of barely contained laughter evident behind her fingers.
“Ah.” Shepard finally stated, his brows raised in surprise as his eyes darted around the room as though he were struggling to find words. Garrus looked back to Jane, and he wasn’t sure if his mandibles were flicking in amusement or discomfort.
“Welp-” Jane suddenly tossed the rest of her drink back before thudding her glass down hard on the bar top and taking a step back, “This has been great , but-” Without even finishing her thought, she turned and left, her shoulders shaking softly in what Garrus suspected was laughter.
“Ah, yeah, I’m… That is… I…” Tali trailed off before inching between the two men and quickly following after the other woman. Shepard sighed before downing the rest of his drink and motioning toward the barkeeper for another.
“You know, Garrus, I don’t think I’ll ever understand women.” He groaned as he sat down on one of the nearby bar stools, shaking his head in defeat. Garrus patted the other man on the shoulder before moving to sit beside him.
“I think it’s less about understanding women in general, and more about learning to understand the ones that matter to you.” Garrus ventured as he reached for a bowl of dextro labeled snacks. Shepard looked at him, his face considering, and then nodded.
“Good point. See? This is why I keep you around.” He raised a hand and clapped Garrus on the back before reaching to grab his newly poured drink. “I think I’m a bit in over my head, though.”
“What makes you say that?” Garrus probed carefully.
“I don’t know, but I feel like all of this is going to be the death of me.”
“Well, you’ve already survived death once. What’s another between friends?” Shepard snorted at that, a smile back on his face as he lifted his glass to his lips. “So,” Garrus continued lightly, “About you and Tali-”
“ I am the very model of a scientist salarian, I've studied species turian, asari, and batarian .” Both men looked up to see Mordin standing before a group of crew members, happily singing a catchy song while holding a colorful drink with a tiny umbrella in it.
“Huh.” Garrus muttered, transfixed, “I thought he didn’t like to drink.”
“I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology, because I am an expert which I know is a tautology.”
“Well, that’s not something you hear everyday. A salarian singing. Huh.” Shepard smiled as Mordin finished the last line of his song with a flourish.
“My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian, I am the very model of a scientist salarian!”
There was a loud round of applause from around the room along with a healthy dose of amused hooting from various, well lubricated corners.
The evening continued on in the usual fashion of Normandy shore leave parties. There was lots of alcohol, plenty of rowdy jokes, a couple of inappropriate comments, and a hint of sloshed dancing that may or may not have included a table.
Garrus spent time with a good selection of crew members over the course of the night, sometimes alongside Jane, sometimes without. Whenever she was elsewhere, Garrus’ eyes seemed to automatically search out the shock of red as though it was second nature
One of his brow plates twitched as he spotted Jane and Tali across the room chatting with one of their new teammates, the drell named Thane. He and Jane had become fast friends, their professional talents and experiences being not entirely unrelated.
Though he felt an initial apprehension every time he saw them together, he often reminded himself that he wasn’t some fresh faced teen and neither was she. Particularly after their conversation the week prior after the card game, he felt more secure and confident in their relationship. Not only that, but Thane was probably the most calm and conscientious person on the Normandy at that point, and he highly doubted he made a habit of stirring up romantic drama.
None of that stopped the voice that whispered in his ear wherever he saw them talking, the one that sounded oddly like Wrex. But he was getting pretty good at squashing that particularly obnoxious voice.
Across the room, Jane’s eyes locked with his. After a moment, she looked back to the drell, excusing herself with a smile before heading in Garrus’ direction. He felt a swell in his chest at that, trying hard to subdue his pleasure. But before she could even make it halfway across the room, she was accosted by Grunt and dragged to a table a little ways off.
Garrus watched in consternation as Jane was forced down into a seat as Grunt gestured excitedly in Miranda’s direction where she sat at the other side of the table, her expression grumpy and exasperated. Jack came up alongside Grunt holding a bottle and two shot glasses, placing one down in front of each of the other women.
He couldn’t hear what they were saying amidst the raucous laughter coming from a nearby table, but Garrus watched as Jane seemed to consider before shrugging and gesturing for Jack to pour for her. Miranda rolled her eyes before doing the same. Once the drinks were poured, both women locked eyes before tossing their respective drinks back and gesturing for another.
Garrus couldn’t help but laugh. Jane was going to have a rough morning come tomorrow.
“Garrus Vakarian.” He looked up to see their newest crew member, the asari Justicar named Samara.
“Samara. Glad you decided to join us. Are you having a good time?”
“Yes, this is a very interesting gathering. I had not known what to expect when I joined Shepard’s crew. But I am pleasantly surprised by many of you.”
“Oh?” Garrus asked lightly, unsure how comfortable he felt around the Justicar.
“I do not generally spend time in bars, but I can see why your Commander conducts team building in this manner. People are often closed off in professional environments. Many people are better able to open up in a less formal setting such as this.” Samara mused almost to herself, her eyes slowly roaming the room. Her own hands held nothing but a bottle of water. “I was much the same during my maiden days.” She added almost indulgently after a moment, a small, reminiscent smile gracing her lips.
“Alcohol has a way of breaking down barriers.” Garrus nodded in agreement. There was a crash from across the room as Grunt accidentally backed up into a table as he cheered, sending the table crashing to the floor and cups flying. A couple of nearby crew members helped him pick up the table and cups before he went back to Jane and Miranda’s table to pour them each another shot. The two women stared each other down, their gazes considerably less steady than they had been at the start of their contest. They each tapped their glasses on the table before downing their drinks and signaling for their next pour. It was going to be a very interesting morning.
“That is one way of putting it.” Samara chuckled before opening her bottle and taking a small sip. After closing it, she followed Garrus’ gaze back to the women taking their next shots. “I was very impressed with Jane Shepard when I spoke with her earlier.” She stated lightly, causing Garrus to look back at her.
“Oh?”
“Yes. She may not hold the hearts of the people like her brother, but she is every bit the soldier he is.”
“Yeah, she is.” Garrus hummed, pride filling his subvocals as he smiled in Jane’s direction. Miranda, her eyes nearly crossed, slapped the table in defeat and groaned, crossing her arms on the table and resting her head on them. Jane thrust her hands into the air, crowing her triumph before lurching to the side. Jack managed to catch her, holding her up as they tried and failed to aim a high five.
“Hell yeah! Put more of the stuff in the… the thing more stuff goes in!” Jane yelled, her voice a slurred mess as she pumped her fist in the air. Garrus winced a little, but smiled as Jack wisely seemed to decline her demand for more alcohol. Jane pulled away from her without complaint and moved over to peel Miranda off the table. The two of them swayed and stumbled as they made their way over to the buffet table. Samara chuckled quietly, her eyes sharp and ever weighing.
“Yes, I can see why you like her.” Garrus jumped at that, turning to face the asari, unsure if she was being serious or not. “She has a strength and a charisma about her that draws one in. I can see why she draws friends to her like moths to a flame.”
Samara continued to watch as Jane struggled to make up a plate of greasy food for Miranda, who all the while seemed moments away from needing a bin for the contents of her stomach. Garrus, however, narrowed his eyes as he continued to watch Samara, her expression becoming somewhat shrewd and calculating.
“Jane is exactly the kind of person I require.” Samara concluded after a moment, turning away to face the bar.
“Require for what?” Garrus asked carefully, his eyes never leaving the Justicar’s face. Her eyes narrowed, her shoulders tensing as though she were expecting an attack from some imagined enemy.
“I am hunting someone. Someone very dangerous. And I believe-” Samara stated, her voice gaining an edge of steel, “-that Jane Shepard is exactly the right person to lure her out.”
Chapter 42: Part 2: Chapter 17
Summary:
In which Garrus hesitates.
Notes:
Content Warning: This chapter contains non-graphic, somewhat ambiguous description of assault.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 17
The Normandy SR2
The installation of the Normandy’s new Thanix Cannons was taking slightly longer than he’d expected, but Garrus was very satisfied with the projected increase of the Normandy’s fire power capabilities. He’d been working on it for the better part of a week since Shepard had requisitioned the parts he’d requested, and it was good to finally see it starting to come together.
The Thanix Cannons had been a peculiar and sudden jump forward in turian weapons technology, and Garrus couldn’t help but find the timing a tad suspicious, given their development directly following the Battle of the Citadel and the ensuing clean up and salvage efforts. Regardless, they were an amazing piece of technology and would play an important role in ensuring their survival during their mission, so he wasn’t going to complain.
The door wooshed open, and given the time, Garrus smiled, knowing who it probably was without having to look up from his work. He was currently wedged into an awkward position as he installed a particularly tricky component, but he felt his brows jump up as he heard a different set of footsteps than he expected.
Click, click, click-
“Garrus?” Jane called out from the vicinity of the door, and he felt himself relax. Extracting himself, he carefully stood and turned. His greeting died as he took in her attire.
Jane stood before him wearing the same little black dress from the Donovan Hock incident when she’d helped Shepard retrieve Kasumi’s partner’s gray box. She crossed her arms and jutted out one hip smugly as his eyes wandered down to take in the pair of black high heeled shoes that elevated her ever so slightly.
“What do you think? How do I look?” Jane asked with an amused smile and he couldn’t help but grin back at her as he wiped his hands clean on a rag he’d tucked in his pocket.
“You know perfectly well that you look amazing in that dress.” Garrus stated as he slowly approached where she stood before the control console, tossing the dirty rag on a nearby crate before stopping in front of her.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing you say it.” She laughed as she closed the space between them, tracing a few fingers lightly up his forearms where he’d rolled his sleeves up. “Or, if you like,” She whispered, drawing nearer as he wrapped his arms around her waist, “You can tell me how good my hair looks and how supportive my waist is.”
Garrus groaned as his head dropped onto her shoulder, heat creeping up his neck at the memory of his own words on the last occasion she’d worn that dress.
“Can’t we just pretend that never happened?” He mumbled into her neck and he felt more than heard her chuckle at that.
“I don’t know, I thought it was pretty cute.” She murmured, causing him to lift his head up, rolling his eyes affectionately.
“Yeah, because turians definitely love being thought of as cute. ” Garrus replied dryly, “It’s the adjective of choice for all apex predators, afterall.”
“Apex predator, huh?” Jane asked as she looked up at him, her eyes laden with challenge, “I don’t know, you don’t seem all that intimidating to me, Big Guy.” He felt himself draw up at her words, his mandibles flaring as he grinned in a way that he knew made many humans nervous.
“Is that so?” Garrus purred, giving Jane a heartbeat before gripping her firmly and spinning them around. In the same movement, he lifted her up, depositing her on the control console. “And here I was thinking humans felt a little weary of our talons-” He let his fingers trail up her thigh, his talons pressing ever so slightly into her skin, “and our teeth.” He leaned in close to give her shoulder a light nip, smirking when he heard her gasp.
“Ah, good point.” Jane said after a moment, one eyebrow raised as a corner of her lips curled upwards. She carefully grasped one of his hands, bringing it close to her lips, “But then again, I know for a fact that you file your talons down just for me.”
Garrus’ breath hitched as her soft, pink tongue darted out to slowly swipe up the pad of his thumb before flicking over his dulled talon. Then, in a flash, she took the entirety of the tip of his thumb into her mouth, sucking on it lightly in a way that made his hips jerk forward involuntarily. He groaned, but then just as suddenly, she released his thumb with a quiet pop .
“ Spirits. ” He muttered as he leaned into her, his fingers trailing down her neck, dipping down to graze the soft flesh peeking out through the black dress’s cutout before dropping to the hem of her dress. Slowly, he began inching it up her thighs as he fought the desperation to get as close to her as he possibly could. Jane took his face in her hands, guiding him closer so that she could kiss him, her lips and tongue warm and inviting.
Without warning, she pulled away a minute or two later, her breathing fast and uneven to match his own, her pupils dilated as she gazed at him.
“Sorry to be a buzzkill,” Jane murmured as she leaned forward to nuzzle her forehead against his, causing him to hum happily, “But I can’t stick around, and I definitely can’t let you mess up my outfit. Kasumi spent a little too much time getting me ready for me to let it go to waste.”
“Uh-huh.” Garrus let his hands wander up her hips until they came to rest on her bottom. Gripping her, he pulled her even closer to him, causing her to gasp. He pressed another kiss to her, and she moaned softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Okay, seriously though. I do need to go. I can’t stay and play this time.” Jane said breathlessly as she pulled away, and with a sigh Garrus reluctantly took a half step back. His fingers trailed down her thighs lightly, causing her to shiver before she slid forward off the control console, landing shakily on her feet. “I’ll, uh-” She readjusted her skirt, pulling it back down to cover herself properly, “I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Riiight. ‘Cause I’m in a great place to be optimizing firing algorithms right now.” Garrus drawled as she smirked, the door opening as she turned to leave. “Not that I’m complaining, but-” He called out as she took a step, causing her to look back at him, “What’s the occasion for the outfit?” Jane looked at him oddly at the question, as though he should know.
“I’m heading out with Samara soon to go to the club. You remember, to help her draw out the Ardat-Yakshi? I thought you were coming along for that as back up?”
Garrus froze, his eyes widening as his previous warmth evaporated in an instant to be replaced by a cold dread. The same dread he felt every time he let himself think about this spirits-forsaken mission.
“You’re going… dressed like that? ”
“What? I thought you said I looked good.” Jane raised a skeptical eyebrow at him as she crossed her arms. Garrus’ mouth flailed for a moment as it struggled to keep up with his racing thoughts.
“You do... I did-” He brought a hand up to his face in frustration before taking a breath and continuing, “I thought you were going in your hard suit and properly armed, not dressed-” He gestured to her outfit, “like this.” Both her eyebrows jumped up at that, and he could almost hear the scorn on the tip of her tongue. “Spirits, Jane, she’s a serial killer . I thought you were going in properly armed and prepared.”
“We are prepared, Garrus.” Jane seemed to relax, her shoulders loosening as she stepped back into the main battery. “I’m not going to be alone, Samara is going to be watching my every step. And I had been under the impression that you and John had insisted on being nearby as backup, as well. I trust you guys, and I’m not exactly defenseless, even without a weapon.” She shrugged, a small smile back on her face, “I thought you’d sparred against me enough times to know that.” Garrus clenched his jaw, his discomfort at the situation struggling to overpower his reason.
“I know. I know, you’re right. I’m just… nervous.” He gestured back to his console, “I’ve been doing a little digging since our initial investigation last night. It was hard to find anything, but what I did find… Jane, these Ardat-Yakshi… They’re scary. Samara wasn’t joking around.”
Garrus didn’t know what to add to that, struggling to find words to properly describe the dread building in his chest.
“I agree.” Jane looked down for a moment before glancing back up at him, her face set. “But I trust you guys to watch my back. And, just as importantly, I trust Samara to stop Morinth before things go too far.” As gratified as Garrus felt to hear of her trust in him, it was far outweighed by his inability to agree with her about Samara. From what he knew of Justicars, he wasn’t quite as sure she would choose protecting Jane over catching her prey.
“Well, just for the record, I think this is a horrible idea.” Garrus closed the gap between them, pulling her into a hug, “Let’s just hope I don’t have to say ‘I told you so’ when this is all over.”
Garrus’ already sour mood darkened further when they stepped foot back on Omega a little later that day. Every time he stepped foot there, all the progress he’d made since choosing to spare Sidonis seemed to inch backwards, his mindset reverting as he struggled to get the faces of his dead teammates out of his mind.
The day before they’d investigated the home of Morinth’s latest victim, learning enough for Jane and Samara to feel comfortable setting the trap. But Garrus couldn’t shake the feeling that nothing good ever happened on Omega.
“I don’t like this, Shepard.” Garrus growled quietly as the two men followed after the other two, and Shepard nodded his head grimly.
“I’m with you. Nothing about this plan sits well with me.” Shepard replied tersely, “I wish I could have talked Samara into letting me be the bait, but she and Jane both seem set on this. And what with Jane being a goddamn-” He mouthed the word ‘Spectre’ , “I can’t exactly forbid her from doing something like this. Not that she’d listen, anyway. When she gets it into her mind that she’s going to do something, nothing stops her.”
As they weaved amongst the patrons of Afterlife, making their way toward the VIP section, Garrus couldn’t help but notice the occasional glances Jane attracted. In her black dress instead of her usual armor, Jane seemed like any other woman in the club, there for a few drinks and a good time. Shepard seemed to notice the looks she was getting too, and his expression seemed to darken by the moment.
“I hate this.” Shepard spat, “I hate that she’s going to be a carrot on a stick, just waiting for a goddamn serial killer to come snap her up. She’s not a biotic, she has no defense against someone like this. But she won’t listen.”
Before they knew it, they were standing outside the VIP section and Samara was attempting to reiterate how dangerous Morinth was. They reviewed what they knew of her and what Jane was going to have to say when they met. Garrus and Shepard were going to head in first, find themselves a booth and keep watch while Jane went in alone not long after. Samara would then keep an eye on her from the shadows until it was time for her to strike.
Garrus chanced a look at Jane before leaving, and she smiled at him in what he assumed was meant to be a reassuring manner. He tried to smile back at her, but he felt as though it probably looked more like a grimace.
“Are you sure about this?” He asked quietly, and she nodded firmly. After a pause, he nodded back and turned to follow Shepard into the club.
The VIP room had a very different feel than the rest of the club. The lighting was darker, the music headier, the people more sedate. A low buzz of conversation seemed to permeate the room instead of the loud, drunken shouts of the bar upstairs. Garrus could see why Morinth preferred this atmosphere to conduct her hunts, it seemed to draw an entirely different crowd.
He followed Shepard to a booth perfectly situated to watch most of the room, sliding into the seat across from the other man. They ordered drinks, but neither planned on indulging that night. Not when Jane’s life was on the line.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, each scanning the room. Garrus wasn’t sure if Shepard, too, was watching for a demon haunting the corners, but he wouldn’t have bet against it. Tension creeped up his spine, each shadow seeming to shift and transform into phantasms before he could blink them away again. As the minutes inched on, he finally gave in to the need for distracting conversation.
“So,” Garrus began, continuing with all the tact of a freighter, “How’s it going with you and Tali?” Shepard spluttered at the sudden, unexpected question, his eyes widening as he stared at Garrus.
“What?” Shepard looked away, his hands coming up to rub his neck uncomfortably before continuing, “Er, no, I…,” He trailed off, his face seeming to fall slightly before slipping behind a mask of neutrality. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He stated offhandedly in a way that would have screamed liar even if he hadn’t been starting to flush a delicate pink, visible even in the dim lighting.
“Suuuure.” Garrus raised a brow plate at him before looking away to scan the room again, “Guess it was just my imagination, then.” He added after a beat, letting the unconvinced words hang between them.
“There’s nothing going on between us, you don’t have to worry.” Shepard grunted, his face suddenly drawn and tight, his eyes refusing to meet Garrus’. Garrus cocked his head in confusion as he looked back to the Commander.
“Worry about…? What would I be worried about?” He asked hesitantly, honest confusion written across his face. Shepard’s eyes finally met his, the other man’s brows drawing down in confusion of his own.
“I thought… Are you and Tali not…?”
“Are Tali and I what? What are you-” Garrus cut himself off as realization washed over him, his eyes widening. Understanding cemented into place and he couldn’t stop his mandibles from flicking with amusement. “Wait, did you think Tali and I were together ?” He asked incredulously, watching as Shepard’s expression became unreadable, his shoulders loosening.
“So… you guys aren’t together? I-” Shepard cut himself off as he brought a hand up to his forehead, “Shit, Garrus, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. The other day I overheard one of the crew mentioning that they’d seen you on a date during shore leave, and I just lept to conclusions.”
Shepard brought his hand down, his face relieved and somewhat more relaxed. “Well. That’s good.” He continued, a small smile appearing on his face for a moment. Then, he focused back on Garrus with a grin so reminiscent of Jane’s that Garrus was forced to remember that they were, in fact, siblings. “Okay, but then if Tali isn’t who they were talking about, who was it that you were out on a date with?” Garrus felt his shoulders tense at the sudden change in the line of questioning.
“Oh, uh-”
“It’s Jane.” Shepard interrupted in a quiet hiss and Garrus’ jaw popped open, but it snapped shut again as he noticed Shepard’s sudden return to seriousness, his gaze having shot to the door across the room. Turning slightly, Garrus felt his stomach tighten with anxiety as he recognized Jane where she stood in the entrance to the VIP lounge.
For not the first time, her beauty struck him like a hammerblow to the gut. He’d seen plenty of other human women over the years, he knew she wouldn’t be considered the epitome of beauty standards by some. She was about as different from a turian woman as it was possible to be. And yet, she had the ability to make his knees weak, his mouth dry, and his heart race by doing nothing more complex than entering the room.
Jane’s gaze swept across the bar, lingering on their table for maybe half a second before continuing on. She slowly made her way to the bar, her hips swaying in a way he rarely got the pleasure of seeing, and never in public.
“At least she seems confident.” Shepard muttered as they tried their best not to watch her too closely.
“When doesn’t she?” Garrus chuckled, and they watched as she quickly downed something that looked like it burned before heading toward the dance floor. Soon, she was dancing up close and personal with an asari in a way that made Garrus feel more than a little envious. And surprised. “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen Jane dance when she wasn’t, err…”
“Plastered?” Shepard finished for him with a snort, rolling his eyes as he leaned back on his couch, draping an arm over the back of it while crossing one ankle up over his knee in a pose that looked more relaxed than he knew Shepard felt.
“Yeah,” Garrus chuckled, nodding his head, “I just assumed she couldn’t dance, but she’s not that bad when she’s a bit more sober.” Shepard laughed as well, shaking his head.
“She likes to joke that I can’t dance, she just won’t dance… unless drunk.” He added, his annoyed expression belying his feelings on the matter. Garrus leveled a dry stare at him, his mandibles flicking again.
“Well, I mean… She’s not wrong.”
“Hey!” Shepard cried, his face indignant despite his smile, “I can dance just fine, thank you.”
“Uh-huh. We’ve all seen you try .” Garrus let the words linger before adding, “No comment.” They shared a laugh, and he continued a minute later, “I mean, it makes sense. You can drive like a sane person, while I would never voluntarily get in a car with Jane without a helmet unless it was an emergency. I guess one Shepard couldn’t end up with all the talent.”
“Ha! Okay, that’s fair.” They shared another laugh, but cut off abruptly at the sound of raised voices from the dance floor. It was hard to see exactly what was happening, but Jane seemed to be staring down a drunk looking turian, an asari dancer looking on nervously.
“-don’t care if it’s you or this bitch, I just like good times.” The turian stated loudly enough that the words manage to carry across to them before he moved in toward Jane, who’s stance changed almost imperceptibly. But Garrus recognized it with a knowing smirk.
The fight was over before it really started. A few well placed blows by Jane had the man doubled over, and it didn’t take much after that for her to get a good grip on him, flipping him over her shoulder and onto the ground as he screamed.
Jane sneered down at the man with cold eyes, saying something that was lost in the din of the music. She looked over to the nearby asari, who seemed to be thanking her, before dusting her hands and leaving the dance floor. But not without a quick glance over her shoulder, leaving them with a small smirk and a wink before turning and making her way back toward the bar.
“Show off.” Shepard scoffed with an affectionate eye roll as he pretended to take a sip of his drink. At the bar, Jane picked up another glass, though this one appeared to be one for sipping, which she did as she started walking slowly through the room, her eyes scanning and evaluating as she went.
Garrus was about to agree with Shepard when he noticed Jane come to a stop not too far off, her eyes narrowing as she noticed two turians sitting in the corner. She was close enough to them that she could probably make out what they were talking about, and from the quickly darkening expression on her face, she didn’t approve. After a moment, she took a few steps closer to the pair, finishing her drink off before placing it on a nearby table and stopping before them, her arms crossed.
They apparently didn’t like what she had to say much either, because in an instant they were on their feet and approaching her, their stances aggressive and angry. Both Garrus and Shepard were a breath away from standing to assist her when one of the turians reached out to push her back.
Jane, the N7 ranked Spectre that she was, reacted as one might have expected. Dodging the blow, she deflected with one hand while reaching up and grabbing him with the other, pulling the turian down as her knee came up to catch him hard in the soft flesh of his stomach. As he fell, his companion darted forward, aiming a punch at Jane, who dodged and returned with a punch of her own all in one movement.
The man crumpled from a single blow to midriff, and in as much time as it took to blink, Jane stood looking down at two groaning turians at her feet, her expression less than impressed. As she carefully picked her way over the prone forms, Shepard couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Someday, she’s going to run into a problem she can’t solve with violence and she’s not going to know what to do with herself.” He muttered after a moment, his smile melting. “That’s part of why this whole mission has me feeling uneasy. I don’t think Jane realizes how vulnerable she is against a biotic when she’s unarmed. You can’t just punch your way out of a…”
Shepard trailed off as Jane stopped, her attention having been grabbed by… someone. Garrus could see Jane speaking to someone standing partially encased in shadows across the room from them, but it was hard to make out details. Whoever it was, an asari he was almost certain, took her hand and led her to a booth situated in a dark corner of the lounge.
“Shit. I think that’s her. Morinth.” Garrus breathed, his heart suddenly hammering in his chest. He’d never really thought of Jane as small before, but suddenly it was impossible to ignore as she lowered herself into the booth alongside the biotic murderer. Somehow, even with all their sparring matches, the battles they’d gone into side by side, even in their more intimate moments together, her stature had never seemed anything less than larger than life. But now…
Now Jane seemed so unbelievably exposed and defenseless. Her absolute mortality seemed to crash into him, and in that moment, despite her battle prowess, extensive training, and considerable experience, Jane seemed as fragile as glass. A single misstep, and he could lose her in an instant.
It was hard for both him and Shepard to watch what was happening at the same time without it being obvious that they were staring, so they wordlessly worked out a rotation so that one of them had eyes on her at all times.
Time became hard to judge as the minutes passed, sometimes seeming to creep, sometimes seeming to fly. It became increasingly difficult to watch as Jane and Morinth chatted and flirted, every brush and touch seeming significant and intentional. The memory of the night he and Jane had first gotten together was forcibly brought to mind, their sparring match interlaced with lingering touches that had been hard to misinterpret in the end. Her goal had been to draw him in, and he had been inexorably drawn. Garrus felt his jaw clench painfully. He forced the thought from his head.
It felt like they’d sat there half the night while Jane and Morinth talked, and Garrus was starting to get a feeling that the plan wasn’t going to work. If Jane hadn’t succeeded in catching the Ardat-Yashi’s interest by now, surely she wasn’t going to?
Just when he was about to voice his concerns to Shepard, however, Morinth stood and offered a hand to Jane, who took it and allowed the asari to lead her toward the exit. Shepard tensed, and Garrus could immediately tell by looking at Jane that something was wrong.
Her gait was missing its usual confidence, her expression bordering dazed and disoriented. She smiled as Morinth looked back at her to say something, and yet it seemed as though Jane’s nerves were shining through in a way wholly unlike her. In the split second before she was led out of sight, she glanced back at them, something like concern or confusion in her eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” Garrus stood in an instant, no longer caring if they were noticed. He inched out of their booth and almost took off after them when Shepard grabbed his arm.
“I agree. But she hasn’t given the signal to pull her out yet, and we need to trust her for now. Plus, look-” Shepard pointed across the room to where Samara was carefully picking her way toward the door in hot pursuit. Garrus relaxed somewhat and they waited a minute or two before following Samara out of the club.
Following the plan they’d laid out beforehand, the two men quickly acquired a skycar and followed Jane’s tracking beacon to an apartment building not too far away. Shepard got out first, carefully slinking along the building’s balconies until he was positioned just below one of Morinth’s apartment windows. Garrus then parked the skycar on a rooftop just across from her building, pulling out his sniper rifle as he situated himself. Adjusting the scope, he quickly scanned the windows until he got a clear view into the apartment.
“In position, target spotted.” He muttered into his com, his subvocals thrumming with his anxiety.
“ Understood. Hold your position, wait for the signal .” Shepard stated quietly through the com, and after a moment he asked, “ Can you keep me updated on what’s happening in there ?”
“Of course. Morinth seems to be lounging on a couch. Her back is to the window, but I wouldn’t chance peeking into the window just yet. Jane seems to be moving around the apartment. From what I can see, she’s examining some art. They seem to be talking.”
“ Okay. Continue to keep me posted as-”
“Wait.” Garrus interrupted suddenly, watching as the asari got up and sauntered toward Jane, her gait that of a predator on the hunt, “Morinth is moving, approaching Jane-” He felt the words hitch in his throat as Morinth lifted a hand to ghost her finger tips up Jane’s arm, causing her to jump and spin, her expression surprised and startled.
Morinth’s finger continued its trip up her arm, and Jane seemed to wince as it trailed up her neck, pausing on her chin as the other woman tilted her face up. They stood like that for a moment, frozen as Morinth spoke and Garrus felt something in his chest twist painfully as Jane’s expression seemed to slowly waver between fear and dazed surrender.
“Shepard, I don’t think-” He started, cutting off as Jane managed to pull away from the Ardat-Yakshi, taking a few steps toward the couch as she brought a hand up to cradle her head, her expression pained and uneasy. “Something is definitely wrong with Jane.” Garrus stated, fear flooded his subvocals as Morinth caught Jane’s hand, tugging her back and pulling her close.
“ What do you mean? Did Morinth…?” Shepard trailed off, his voice urgent as he stretched up in an attempt to see into the apartment surreptitiously. Jane started to pull away, and Garrus could feel his finger tighten on the trigger. But he cursed and stayed his hand, Jane being too close to Morinth to get a safe shot. He’d never forgive himself if he messed up.
“I’m… I’m not sure. Where is Samara? It’s time to end this.” Garrus growled, doing his best to breathe, forcing down the strained, rising panic.
At that moment, Jane seemed to sag slightly in Morinth’s arms as the asari brought a hand up to lift her chin again. Morinth closed her eyes, and when they opened again, they were as black as the void, pits opening up into nothingness.
“Shepard! She’s attempting to meld with Jane, get in there! You need to stop her!” Garrus yelled into the com, his heart feeling like a gong resounding in his chest as he waited for an opportunity to take a shot. His finger itched on the trigger, but the two were so intertwined at this point that it was impossible to take the shot without risking Jane.
Samara’s entrance was so sudden and seamless that he barely noticed her until her blast sent Morinth flying into the window, cracks radiating outward. Flung from the asari’s grasp, Jane crumpled like a puppet with her strings cut, and as she hit the floor Garrus felt the air leave his lungs like a punch to the gut.
“Jane!”
Shepard’s own biotic blast succeeded in shattering the glass completely, and within moments he was climbing into the apartment, dragging Jane’s body away from the melee playing out between Samara and Morinth.
“ Garrus, we need to end this!” Shepard yelled at him, and Garrus had to rip his eyes away from Jane’s prone form in order to focus. Lining up his sights, he watched the battle between the two biotics, waiting for an opportunity. “ Take the shot.”
He pulled the trigger. Morinth shifted, blocking a blow from the Justicar, and Garrus’ shot caught her in the shoulder, blood flying as she spun and crashed to the floor. In an instant, Samara was upon her, a fist shimmering with biotic energy raised in the air before smashing down upon her victim.
Without even waiting to see if the fight was truly over, Garrus had holstered his sniper rifle and dashed to the nearby skycar. Diving into the driver’s seat, he quickly took to the sky and made his way toward the apartment. Details seemed to blur in his vision, sounds muffled, his body numb, nothing mattering more than haste. In a matter of heartbeats, he was leaping out of the skycar again and racing through the open door, skidding to a stop as he fell to his knees before the two humans on the floor.
“Jane…” Garrus murmured, completely disregarding the terror and grief harmonizing in his subvocals as he took in the sight before him. Shepard clutched Jane to him as she groaned, still limp in his arms, her cheeks ashen. “Is she okay?” Garrus asked, his eyes thirstily drinking every sign of life as her hand twitched, her eyelids fluttered.
“I’m not sure. She’s alive, but…” Shepard trailed off as Jane groaned again, her eyes finally cracking open.
“G-Garrus?” Her green eyes stared at him blankly, glazed and uncomprehending. They flicked up to Shepard and she winced at the movement as pain seemed to lance through her. “John?”
“You’re okay, you’re safe.” Shepard whispered as he leaned down to gently hug her, resting his cheek on her forehead for a moment before sitting back up. “How are you feeling?”
“I’ve… felt better.” Jane muttered through gritted teeth, wincing again as she shifted slightly. Guilt gripped Garrus and he squeezed a fisted hand.
“I’m so sorry, Jane.” He reached his other hand up to brush a lock of hair out of her face, letting his finger brush her cheek briefly, “I should have taken the shot when I had the chance. I shouldn’t have let it get that far, I should have-”
“No.” Samara stated harshly, and Garrus turned slightly to see her turn away from Morinth’s bloodied body. “No, the fault lies with me, not with you, Garrus Vakarian. I should not have let it carry on so long, I should have intervened sooner.”
She came over to kneel beside them, lifting one faintly glowing hand to place it delicately on Jane’s forehead. “Morinth liked playing with her meals before devouring them, and I should have guessed she would indulge herself with a game or two.” After a moment, Jane closed her eyes again, seeming to drift off into unconsciousness again as her body relaxed into Shepard’s arms. “Whatever Morinth has put her through, she has most likely suffered a good deal of neurological strain, possibly some damage to her nervous system. Morinth was forcing her way into her mind, and I’m sure she was neither kind nor gentle.” Samara looked away towards the nearby corpse before continuing, her voice softer, “You have my apologies.”
“When you say she was forcing her way in… Do you mean-” Shepard swallowed, his eyes dropping to his sister as he held her closer. “Did she-” He stumbled, seeming to struggle to put his worries into words, as though giving them voice would make them real, “What she experienced, was it like-” Shepard looked back up to Samara, his eyes beseeching as he silently begged her to deny his suspicions. Garrus felt bile rising in his throat as he realized what the other man was insinuating. Samara looked down at Jane for a moment, her eyes heavy and somber before she looked away again.
“Perhaps. I doubt Morinth was trying to fully meld with her, as she rarely moves in for the kill that quickly. However, it is not unlike her to dominate someone’s mind so completely that they willingly welcome the horrors she enjoys inflicting before she reaches that point. The only one who can tell you what actually happened…” Samara seemed to force her eyes from flicking back to Morinth’s body, finally shutting them with a defeated sigh, “Is Jane.”
Garrus struggled to remain calm as an old, half healed anger threatened to rear up and lash out. He firmly kept his hands at his side instead of reaching for Jane as he wished he could, respecting Shepard’s desire to find comfort in holding his sister. Garrus wondered idly whether or not it was easier to cope with the feelings lodging in his chest knowing that the perpetrator lay dead just feet away. While it was true that she could never hurt someone like this again, damn if it wouldn’t feel good to kill her with his own hands right now.
“Damn it, Jane.” Shepard growled, his face scrunching up as emotion welled in his eyes, “You should have let me be the bait. I was better prepared for this than you were, I should have insisted that it be me.” The words sent a jolt through Garrus, echoing back to his first few weeks after his team had been killed… Echoing back to Jane’s words at Shepard’s memorial. Silently, Garrus put his hand on Shepard’s shoulder, offering what little support he could.
“I recommend getting her back to Doctors Chakwas and Solus as soon as possible.” Samara continued a few moments later, her voice stronger, “They will be able to run the necessary tests in order to determine the extent of the damage done to her, and begin whatever treatment she requires.” Shepard remained silent for a moment, his fingers tightening before he sighed, some of the tension leaving him. He looked up, his eyes hard as he held Jane up towards Garrus.
“Take her to the skycar, get her to the Normandy ASAP. I’ll help Samara finish up here and we’ll follow as soon as we can.” He said, his voice tightly controlled as though he was fighting to contain a tangle of emotions to mirror Garrus’ own.
Nodding solemnly, his own words stuck somewhere in his throat, Garrus gently took Jane into his arms, trying to not let himself be alarmed by her dead weight. As he looked down at her, he was suddenly flung back two years to their fight against Saren. He’d carried her away from the fight only to fling them both into cover when Sovereign's debris had crashed through the window.
Shaking the memories from his mind, Garrus stood and quickly made his way out of the apartment, being careful not to jostle her too much. As he carefully lowered her into the backseat of the skycar, it was hard to escape the infuriating thought that nothing good ever happened on Omega. But then he flashed back to the moment she’d first arrived in his apartment having battled her way across the bridge to save him. He vividly remembered the moment their eyes had met. Maybe not everything that happened on Omega was wholly terrible.
“Garrus, she’s asking for you.” Garrus heard from his vigil in the mess hall, his head snapping up to see Dr. Chakwas standing by the door to the medbay. He stood up, pushing his chair back in his haste, and hurried toward the door without a word. She caught his arm, her face firm but gentle. “You can go in to see her, but please don’t stay too long. After everything, she needs rest.” He nodded and she let go of his arm, allowing him to approach the door.
Garrus had spent the last two hours replaying everything that had happened that night, desperately trying to figure out what he’d done wrong, what he could have done to prevent the suffering Jane had been forced to endure. Shaking the thoughts from his head, he stepped into the medbay, but his feet froze as his eyes landed on the figure that lay on one of the beds.
Jane looked so small laying there, her vibrant hair strewn out across the pillow a contrast to her unnaturally pale skin even in the dimmed lights. She had one hand resting on her stomach, the other forearm resting across her face. She was no longer wearing the black dress, but had instead changed into a tank top and sleep pants.
Hesitantly, he took a few steps closer, and after a moment, she turned her head toward him slightly. As she smiled softly, he felt something in his chest unwind for the first time since she’d left the club with Morinth.
“Garrus.” Spirits, he loved the sound of his name on her lips, but the tired, strained quality to the word made his browplates draw down in concern. He hurried the last few steps to her bedside, and she lifted the hand on her stomach slightly so that he could slip his fingers under hers to take her hand. He gave it a soft squeeze, which she reciprocated after a moment. But he could feel the slight trembling of her hand.
“Jane, are you okay?” Garrus asked quietly, and Jane nodded but looked back up toward the ceiling, her forearm still resting across her eyes. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” He continued, looking down, “I should have stepped in sooner, I should have taken the shot when I had the chance. Before she…” He trailed off, scared to put words to whatever it was that she’d experienced. She tugged his hand and he looked up to see her wince in pain.
“Ah, sorry-” She shifted uncomfortably, gasping softly in pain, “Chakwas says it will be a little while before the pain fades, and my vision clears, and…” She trailed off, lifting her hand off her forehead for a moment as she watched her fingers quiver out of her control. She let her hand fall back down onto her head with a sigh, “But I’ll be okay.” She shifted slightly to look up at him, and Garrus noticed that her eyes seemed slightly hazy and unfocused. The guilt twisted in deeper. “Garrus, I’m going to be okay. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own.” She winced again, gripping his hand tighter, “I shouldn’t have let her weasel her way into my mind. I should have resisted her better. I should have been stronger.”
“Jane, that’s nonsense. I don’t know anyone as strong as you.” She smiled at that, a smile full of despondent disbelief.
“Well, I wasn’t strong enough. And she-” Jane’s voice caught, her whole body tensing. After a breath, she continued, her voice tight, “I just let her-” She grit her teeth in a pained snarl, and Garrus felt alarms ringing in his mind as he noticed a shimmering wetness in her eyes.
“Shhh,” He hushed, pulling their interlaced hands up so he could press an approximation of a kiss to hers, “It’s okay. You don’t need to tell me what happened if you’re not ready to talk about it.” She swallowed and nodded silently, but after a moment, she continued in a whisper.
“I just let her in, Garrus. It hurt so much and it was awful , but I just let her in and she-” She looked away, “By the end, I wanted her to. Everything she did to me. I wanted her to hurt me.” The self disgust in her voice stung almost as much as the words themselves as they dug under his plates.
“Jane, whatever she did, it wasn’t your fault.” Garrus insisted, steel in his voice, and she looked up at him silently, “We knew she had the power to insinuate herself into people’s minds, to dominate them. Samara said as much before the mission. It’s as though she drugged you, so all of that ? It wasn’t your fault.” Jane shut her eyes at that, taking a deep breath.
“I know.” She breathed, “I know. But I should have been stronger. I should have been better prepared than that. I thought I was better than that. ” The disgust was back in her voice and Garrus sighed as he reached a hand toward her hair, pausing to insure she was okay with being touched. When she nodded, he gently brushed a few stray strands away from her forehead before running his fingers through a few locks trailing down around her pillow.
“I don’t think any of us were really ready to face that. Even if you’d been properly armed, it probably wouldn’t have made a difference. But I…” Garrus clenched his eyes shut, turning his face away, unable to look her in the eyes, “I should have taken the shot when I had the chance. I was afraid of hurting you.” He finished lamely, as though his paltry, cowardly excuse made up for the pain she’d been forced to endure.
Garrus felt a soft, cool, trembling hand on the side of his face, and he looked back to Jane as she smiled up at him. He leaned into her touch, gripping her other hand firmly. She pulled him closer, and they met in a slow, sweet kiss that lingered like the taste of honey on the tongue. When they pulled apart, he leaned down to brush his forehead against hers, the exhales of their contented sighs mingling in the meager space between them.
“Is Mor-” She stumbled over the name, “Is she…? What happened after I…?” She whispered hoarsely, and he pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed beside her, their hands still clasped firmly.
“She’s dead.” Garrus stated firmly and succinctly. She didn’t need to know the details, not unless she asked, which he hoped she wouldn’t. As numbed to the violence and gore of battle as he was, even he didn’t want to remember the splatters of blood left over in that apartment.
Jane looked up at the ceiling, and after a moment, shut her eyes, taking a deep breath in. As she slowly let it go, he could see some of the tension leave her.
“Then I just need to move past this. I just need my body to heal,” She lifted her free hand, watching as it trembled slightly, “And I need to…” She trailed off, letting her hand fall back down onto the bed. “I think this was a wake up call for me.”
“What do you mean?” Garrus asked hesitantly, unsure, and she looked back up at him.
“I’ve let myself get cocky and complacent. We’ve been jumping around the galaxy, building this amazing team, shooting up mercs, and dicking around.” Jane smiled but there was no mirth in it, her eyes pinched despite their unfocused gaze. The smile disappeared slowly, and when she continued her voice had dropped to a cold, terrified whisper. “But the Reapers are coming, Garrus. And I’m not ready. ”
The words, quiet as they were, seemed to echo in the empty, sterile room as though she had shouted them. Garrus felt her squeeze his hand, and he held fast to hers as his own fear reared up to roar in his chest. He felt the truth of her words reverberate in his bones. He, too, had been trying his best not to think about the reality facing them, about the true enemy lurking out in dark space.
“I don’t think any of us are really ready for them, Jane.” Garrus replied somberly, trying his best not to wonder if he was one of the distractions and amusements that she was currently regretting. “The best thing we can do for now is put a stop to whatever the Collectors are doing.” With a sigh, Jane closed her eyes, nodding slowly.
“I know, you’re right. But I still need to be better. I can’t continue on being just Commander Shepard’s delinquent kid sister, not with the Reapers coming.” Once again, they fell into a heavy, uncomfortable silence, and Garrus found himself falling into his old standby. Forcing a smile, he reached for levity.
“Well, I hope you don’t plan on completely dropping the whole ‘bad girl’ thing, I find it pretty sexy.” He growled playfully, causing her eyes to pop open in surprise. She looked at him for a full moment before bursting into laughter so genuine that, for a moment, he wanted to cry in relief. As soon as she quieted, catching her breath, Jane smiled a warm, genuine smile up at him, and he felt himself stroke her fingers lightly with his thumb. “And you’ve never been just anything. Not to me.”
“Who would have thought I’d fall for such a sap.” Jane muttered as she rolled her eyes affectionately, her cheeks finally regaining a little warmth as she flushed. She grabbed the front of his shirt, giving it a weak tug and pulling him down for another kiss. “Thanks, Garrus. I’m glad I had you and John watching my six. I think I owe you my life.”
“Well,” Garrus felt himself smile as he sat back up and reached a hand up to rub the back of his neck, “You have given me a little incentive.” He laughed as she smacked him lightly.
“Okay, get out of here and go find John. I get the feeling I’m going to have to beat the guilt out of him, too.” He chuckled at that, nodding his head as he stood, squeezing her hand one more time before letting go and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“That’s probably not far from the truth. He took the whole thing pretty rough, I think.” Garrus said before taking a step back. “I’ll be back in a moment.” Turning, he headed toward the door, but stopped as she called out.
“Wait.” Turning back to her, Garrus waited as she stared up at the ceiling, her smile gone. “After, will you go get Miranda for me? I think it’s time I swallowed my pride and asked for her help with something.”
Notes:
Happy (early) N7 day, everyone! I've been pretty sick and super appreciated the support I received from my regular commenters last week. I'm slowly starting to feel better! I've also been participating in NaNoWriMo, and am super excited to finishing up the writing for the final chapters of part 2. I hope you are all enjoying it so far! Until next week, lovely readers 🥰
Chapter 43: Part 2: Chapter 18
Summary:
In which Garrus investigates an attempted murder.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 18
The Normandy SR2
To call the days following the incident with Morinth ‘difficult’ wouldn’t have done them justice. Thanks to the Normandy’s doctors, Jane was able to get up and moving about fairly quickly, despite the damage the Ardat-Yashi inflicted on her nervous system, but it was nearly a week until she was able to walk without the help of a cane.
Her vision seemed to return to normal quickly, but the weakness and trembling she suffered from seemed to linger, clearly bothering her. Garrus could understand why, as her strength and combat prowess were some of the things she valued most about herself. Jane kept mostly to herself that first week, and though he didn’t want to push her, he made sure she knew he was there if she needed him.
Shepard was forced to ground her for the next few missions, and although it was completely reasonable due to her health and limitations, Jane was understandably frustrated. She put on a brave face and didn’t argue, but Garrus felt his heart break as he stepped onto the shuttle without her and turned to see the briefest moment of self-loathing and grief flash across her expression.
Turning back, Garrus took a few slow steps toward where she stood glaring down at her single, trembling upturned hand. He carefully reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“You okay?” He asked quietly, and after a moment she looked up and nodded.
“Yeah. I’m okay. I get it. I’d be a liability. I can’t do shit , not like-” She looked down at her hand again for a moment before clenching it in a fist, “Not like this.”
“Doctor Chakwas says you’re making great progress and you should be cleared to fight again in a few weeks. Just be patient.”
“Yeah. I know.” She spat as she looked away, her tone and expression at odds with her words. Jamming her hands in her pockets, she turned and limped toward the elevator alone.
At first, Garrus wasn’t sure what caused him to wake. Laying in his bunk, he registered the darkness and realized it was still the middle of the Normandy’s night cycle. He could hear the sounds of snoring crew members in the beds around him, as well as the distant droning of the drive core in the background. He supposed it must have been a dream that had awoken him, but he could have sworn he’d heard-
Somewhere nearby, he heard the rustle of bedsheets and a soft gasp. Sitting up, his eyes immediately sought out Jane’s bunk and he watched as she suddenly thrashed an arm out and groaned.
“Jane?” Garrus whispered, but got no answer. Quietly, he removed his sheets and shivered, silently cursing the cool temperature of the human ship as he moved quietly to kneel beside Jane’s bunk. She shifted, and he noticed that she was still asleep, despite the strained expression on her face and the sweat on her brow. She let loose a small whimper as she gripped her sheet tightly. “Jane?” He said again, a little louder as he lifted a hand to shake her lightly.
With a muffled shriek, Jane’s eyes shot open and she bolted upright, her face a mask of terror. She breathed heavily, her wide, glassy eyes scanning the room wildly without seeming to register anything.
“Whoa, whoa there.” Garrus murmured soothingly, bringing a hand up to her arm, which she violently shrugged off. Holding his hands up defensively, he waited until she seemed to come to herself. After a moment, she seemed to register his presence.
“Garrus?” She asked hesitantly, her breathing still ragged as she lifted a hand to brush sweaty hair out of her face.
“Yeah, it’s just me.” She nodded jerkily before taking a deep breath, attempting to calm herself. “Nightmare?” He asked, and she nodded again before flopping back down onto her pillow. She lifted both her hands to press her palms against her eyes, letting loose a deep, ragged breath.
“I don’t want to go back to sleep.” Garrus heard her hoarse, muffled words, and after a moment, he stood, holding out his hand to her as she looked up at him.
“Then come on, we’ll go to the starboard observation deck. It’ll be empty at this hour.” Jane seemed to think about it for a moment before taking his hand and letting him help her out of bed. Their hands remained interwoven as they left the barracks and turned the corner into the observation room.
As soon as the door closed, Jane dropped his hands and walked toward the large window, stopping before it and crossing her arms as she gazed out into space. Garrus came to stand beside her, glancing down at her out of the corner of his eyes every now and then. The minutes dragged on in silence, neither of them moving, and Garrus searched for words he could use to comfort her. But each time, the words he came up with seemed to fall short of sufficient, and so he remained a silent source of companionship for her, not unlike she had been for him after Sidonis.
“I felt so…” Jane muttered finally, breaking the reverent silence, “...so helpless.” Garrus glanced back at her, and noticed the shimmering in her eyes, “I don’t ever want to feel that way again.” She growled through clenched teeth, her fingers digging into her upper arms as she scowled. “Every time I close my eyes, I see her face and-” His chest clenched as he froze, unsure how best to react. Jane so rarely let people in, so rarely let people truly see how she felt, and it felt like trying to coax a wild animal out of hiding.
Jane’s face screwed up as she grappled with the weight of the emotions welling up in her, bringing a hand up to scrub at her eyes with disgust. Turning to face her, Garrus brought a hand up to brush her arm.
“Hey, it’s okay to cry.” He whispered, and in a flash she turned her anger on him with a heated glare.
“Turians can’t cry, so what the fuck do you know about it?” Jane hissed as she narrowed her eyes up at him. Despite the rage radiating off her, she remained where she was, not putting distance between them.
“True, but I’ve worked with species who do long enough to know it’s not a bad thing.” Garrus kept his voice level and calm, recognizing her anger for what it was.
“I don’t fucking cry!” She yelled as a single tear escaped to trickle down her cheek before she could furiously brush it away. “When I can’t handle my crappy emotions, I workout, I fight someone, I fucking hit something until I feel better. But I can’t even manage that like this !” Another tear trickled down her cheek, followed by another, and she raised her hands to wipe them away.
Without a word, Garrus stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Jane, enveloping her in a hug as her eyes widened. “Goddamn it!” She yelled, pulling away just far enough to raise up a fist. He winced as it came smashing down into his chest, and just as he considered letting her go, she let loose a ragged sob, her forehead falling forward to rest against him. She raised her fist again, but when it collided half heartedly with his chest again, she finally melted into his embrace.
Sharp, gasping sobs wracked Jane’s body as her arms reached around him to grip the back of his shirt. Garrus pressed his face into her hair, breathing her in and attempting to stifle the sadness resonating in his subvocals as he held her tightly.
“I’m just so-” She hiccuped, her voice muffled by his shirt, “so fucking weak now! What if I never get back to normal?” She sniffled, her body convulsing again as she tried to stifle another round of sobs, “John’s never going to trust me in battle again, he-” she struggled with the words as though her throat was squeezing them, struggling not to let them out, “He’s lost faith in me, I let him down, I…” The rest of her fears were lost in a renewed bout of sobbing, and Garrus held her up as her knees began to wobble, holding her close as she clung to him.
He wasn’t sure how long they remained like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, him holding her while she shook with the violence of her pain, both physical and emotional. But when she finally began to find calmness, her sobs fading to occasional sniffles, and finally to deep, even breathing, he pulled back far enough to press a kiss to her forehead.
“You’re going to get through this. I know you feel weak right now, but you’re going to heal. Shepard hasn’t lost faith in you, he just wants to give you the time you need to get your strength back. And he feels guilty because he feels like you’re suffering because he failed you. I feel some of that, too. No,” Garrus cut in as she opened her mouth to argue, “We can talk about that more later.” She nodded silently, and he pulled her closer, “I’m here with you every step of the way.” He whispered against her skin, “I’ll always have your six.” She smiled at that, her eyes still bright with emotion as she brought her arms up to wrap around his neck.
“Thank you, Garrus.” She replied, leaning forward to press her forehead to his, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“John, I’m ready to go back to active duty.” Garrus looked up from his meal to see Jane staring across the table at her brother where he sat beside him. Shepard looked up from his own meal, his expression surprised.
“I’m not necessarily arguing, but-” Shepard started but was quickly interrupted.
“It’s been a month. Chakwas says I’m almost completely healed. Garrus and I have started sparring again and I’ve been doing a lot better, haven’t I, Garrus?” She looked at him, and Garrus nodded slowly.
“I wouldn’t say you’re 100% yet, but you’re definitely improving.”
“ Improving? I wiped the floor with your face yesterday, and you call that improving ?” Jane stared him down, her eyes narrowing with indignation as Garrus chuckled.
“Well, you only managed it once out of our four rounds. Not up to your usual standards.” Garrus replied as he leaned back in his hair, crossing his arms. She rolled her eyes but didn’t argue.
“Fine. Regardless, I know we’re going to be arriving on Illium in a few days, and I’m ready to go groundside. I’ve missed out on a bunch of missions, and I get it, I was a liability as I was. But not anymore.”
“I don’t know…” Shepard started before trailing off, bringing a hand up to his chin in consideration.
“Please, John. Just give me a chance, I can fight, I can be useful.” Jane’s voice bordered desperation as her eyes seemed to burn with intensity.
“Jane…” Shepard’s voice dropped, his eyebrows furrowing, “It’s okay to not be okay yet. You don’t need to push yourself in order to prove you’re healed if you’re not yet. You don’t need to prove yourself to me.”
“But I am healed. Healed enough to get back out there. I can’t stand sitting on my ass anymore.” They stared each other down for a few heartbeats until Shepard sighed and nodded.
“Fine. But at the first sign that you’re not okay, I’m having Garrus haul your ass out of there, whether you like it or not.”
“Deal.” With that, Jane stood, picked up her tray, and brought it back to the kitchenette before leaving the mess hall. Shepard sighed again, leaning back in his chair.
“Why do I feel like I’m going to regret this?”
“I still can’t believe how big this ship is. I mean, obviously the Flotilla has many ships that are much larger, so I guess I meant how spacious this ship is.” Tali muttered from the couch across from Garrus as they lounged in the port observation deck. Kasumi seemed to be out, most likely eavesdropping somewhere she shouldn’t be, though it was hard to tell with her. “So,” Tali continued as she crossed a leg and snuggled deeper into the couch, “Where’s Jane? Unless you guys are on duty, I rarely seem to see you guys apart. I’m beginning to think you like her or something.” She pointed out, her voice conveying her sly amusement.
“Funny.” Garrus replied dryly, ignoring the grin no doubt plastered across the quarian’s face. “She’s with Samara right now, I think.” Tali’s bright eyes blinked with surprise at his response.
“Really? Not that I have anything against Samara, but that seems like an odd friendship.”
“Well, I think Jane really admired her before the whole Morinth thing. Then afterwards, Samara started helping with her recovery. She taught Jane some meditation techniques and some other stuff to help. I don’t particularly understand it all, but it does seem to help.”
“Oh. Huh.” Tali seemed to consider for a moment before she spoke again. “How’s she doing? I know she’s been struggling.” She asked, her modulated voice subdued and somber. “I’ve been worried about her.” Garrus took a moment to consider before answering.
“Jane’s been doing better, I think. It’s been slow, and that makes her frustrated. But she’s been getting a lot stronger and gaining her control back. We’ve been sparring and she’s pretty close to her old self. But I think the whole thing has shaken her confidence a little.”
“Understandable. I only know what you guys have told me about what happened, but it sounds like it was terrifying for her.” Tali sighed, and Garrus nodded, looking down at the floor. “I know she’s still having nightmares.” She murmured after a moment. He nodded again.
“Yeah, but I think they’re happening less frequently now. Honestly, I think with some of the things we’ve seen, more than one of us have the occasional nightmare at this point. Jane says even Shepard has them about what happened over Alchera.” Garrus said with a sigh, thinking of his own recurring nightmares. One in particular always stood out. The dripping of the blood his choices had spilt, ten pairs of electric, glowing eyes, Shepard’s charred and cracked helmet, the hatred in Jane’s eyes-
“I didn’t… I didn’t realize…” Tali trailed off as she looked away, her hand clenching where it lay beside her. “It’s not easy for them to let us in, is it?” Garrus raised a brow plate at her in question, and so she continued, “John and Jane. They can both be so closed off, they hold everyone at arm’s length, even you and me, and we’ve been with them from the start.” She sighed and brought her hands up to fiddle with one of the buckles on her suit idly. Tali looked up at him after a moment, her raised brow just barely visible through her helmet’s facemask as her voice picked up a suggestive tone, “Well, I suppose that’s not the case for you, not anymore, huh? A little closer than arm’s length at this point, wouldn’t you say?”
Garrus coughed awkwardly at her sudden insinuation, causing Tali to laugh, the gloom of a few minutes before dissipating somewhat. He chuckled after a moment, nodding his head.
“Yeah. It wasn’t easy getting to that point though.”
“I can imagine.” Tali stated dryly, her eyes rolling as she leaned back in her seat, “You’re both so dense, I’m actually pretty surprised you guys figured it out at all.” Garrus snorted at that, leveling her with an unamused smile.
“What’s that human saying? The one about the kitchenware calling each other names?” Tali stared at him, uncomprehendingly, “Whatever, nevermind. The point is, you’re one to talk, Miss vas Neema. How long have you been nursing that crush on the Commander? Pretty much from the word ‘go’?”
Tali stuttered, her flustered hands gesturing jerkily before finally giving up with sigh.
“Was I really that obvious? That’s a bit humiliating. Did everyone know back then?” She asked, her voice filled with her mortification as she looked away.
“No, I wouldn’t say everyone . I think Liara was too busy obsessing over him herself to notice anything, and I can’t speak for Kaidan or Ashley.” Garrus shrugged, before stiffening, “Wrex, well, he doesn’t miss much.” He growled, his own embarrassment causing his neck to warm.
“Yeah,” Tali giggled, “He had you pinned pretty early on. You were pretty much head over heels from the start, too, weren’t you?” Garrus grumbled at that as he looked away, but didn’t argue. They sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke up again quietly, “It doesn’t really matter, though, in the end.”
“What doesn’t matter?” He asked, and Tali sighed as she looked down, rubbing one arm distractedly.
“Watching you and Jane, it’s really nice. I’m so happy for you guys. But Shepard… he’s never going to feel that way about me. Not the way I feel about him. I’m just some quarian engineer. He’s the galaxy’s savior. He can’t even see my face behind my helmet. He’s never going to feel the same way I feel.” She muttered, her voice leaden and full of quiet despair.
“You don’t know that.” Garrus started, thinking about Shepard’s behavior since Tali joined the crew, but Tali shook her head firmly. “Maybe you should just talk to him about it.” She snorted and looked back at him, shaking her head.
“You know it’s not that simple. Plus, even if he did feel the same way about me by some miracle, it’s not like we could be together. I don’t want to be a distraction. The whole galaxy is relying on him, I don’t want this mission to fail because of me.”
“That sounds like an excuse. You both deserve to be happy.”
“You think I don’t want to be happy? Garrus, just kissing him could kill me . He deserves someone who can make him happy, too.”
“You won’t know what would make him happy until you talk to him, Tali.” Garrus urged gently, but she shook her head.
“I can’t just march up to him and tell him that I love him.”
Garrus froze as a memory seemed to tickle at the back of his mind, bubbling up from the depths, foggy and faint. A memory that had been amongst those not entirely recognized or acknowledged since he woke up for the first time on the Normandy SR2 with half his face blown off.
He’d sat on the floor of his Omega apartment, battered, bruised, and exhausted. He’d closed his eyes for a moment, only to be awoken by the unexpected sound of footsteps drawing nearer. He’d looked up to see a face he hadn’t expected to see again before he died. She’d said his name only for him to discover she wasn’t real, as ghostly as the rest of the hallucinations he’d had that day. But then she’d knelt down and took his face in her hands and he’d said-
I love you .
Garrus had said those words, but it hadn’t really been her . He had completely forgotten about most of the hallucinations he’d seen, those few days having become a bit of a blur in his memory. But like a blow to the head, the memory came rushing back to him and left him feeling awestruck.
But, of course he loved Jane Shepard. It was as obvious as the markings on his face, and as natural as the feel of his sniper rifle in his hands. Garrus Vakarian loved Jane Shepard. It was like one of the laws of nature; unequivocally true and universally accepted.
“Garrus? Are you okay?” Tali asked, concerned as she cocked her head to the side in question. Blinking, Garrus came back to himself in a disorienting rush.
“What? Oh. Yeah. Sorry, I just-” He jumped as the door opened suddenly, and his heart thudded hard in his ribcage as he turned to see Jane enter the room, pausing as she noticed them both.
“Garrus. Tali.” She nodded to both of them before moving over to drop tiredly onto the couch beside him. Tali stood and readjusted her suit before turning toward the door.
“Hi, Jane. I’ll leave so you guys can have a little privacy.” Jane sat forward, gesturing for her to stay.
“No, no, you can stay. We can-”
“No, it’s okay.” Tali nodded her head in their direction, her voice a little tight, “Really, it’s fine. I have some work to finish up, anyway. Have a good night, guys.” And with that, she hurried out of the room.
“Was it something I said?” Jane wondered aloud, watching bemusedly as the door closed behind the fleeing quarian. Garrus shook his head and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they settled back onto the couch.
“No, we were just talking about Shepard. I think it gave her a lot to think about.”
“Ah. I see.”
“How did it go with Samara?” Garrus asked, and Jane turned her head to look at him oddly.
“I wasn’t with Samara. I was meeting with Miranda.”
“Oh? What for?” She held up a data disk, a pleased smile on her face.
“I asked her a while back to help me track down some data that Liara was convinced Cerberus had. She finally came through for me.”
“Really now. Anything interesting?”
“It’s about the Shadow Broker. I’m going to take it to her tomorrow when we arrive on Illium. I was wondering if you’d like to come along with me?”
“Do you really need to ask?”
It was around noon the next day when they finally made it to Liara’s office in Nos Astra. It hadn’t taken much work for Jane to convince Shepard to let her sit out the mission to find Miranda’s sister, though he was certainly confused after her insistence that she be allowed to rejoin the ground team. Regardless, he’d been happy to let Garrus stay back with her, directing him to make sure she didn’t overtax herself.
“Jane, Garrus, it’s good to see you both again.” Liara looked up as they entered her office, gesturing for them to sit.
“Good to see you, too, Liara.” Jane replied as they took their seats, shifting to accommodate their weaponry.
“What can I do for you both?” Liara asked, one slim eyebrow lifted curiously until Jane held up the small data disk between two of her fingers.
“Just coming through on an old promise.” She stated, the corner of her lips coming up in a small, crooked smile. Liara’s eyes widened in surprise and she took a deep inhale.
“Is that…?” She trailed off as though she didn’t want to get her hopes up.
“I believe this is what you’ve been looking for. Turns out, all I had to do was ask the right person.” After a moment of tense silence, she asked, “Still interested?”
“Absolutely! Let me see what you’ve got!” Liara demanded excitedly as she stood quickly and held her hand out for the disk. Jane placed it in her outstretched hand and Liara quickly loaded it into a nearby data pad. Swiping through the files, Liara’s eyes darted quickly as she took in the information. “It looks like a leaked transmission between Shadow Broker operatives. Some hints as to the locations, and…” Her face softened even as her eyes lit up, “It’s about Feron. He’s still alive.”
Jane shifted in her seat, glancing to Garrus for a moment before returning her focus to Liara.
“Who’s Feron?” She asked carefully, and Liara seemed to consider the question before placing the data pad down on the desk.
“He was a friend.” She murmured softly, “He helped me recover Shepard’s body from the Shadow Broker.”
“Ah.” Jane’s face hardened, but after a moment she asked, “Why did the Shadow Broker go to all the trouble of recovering his body?” Liara, who had turned to look out the large window behind her desk, looked back at them.
“He was going to sell him to the Collectors.” Jane’s eyes widened at that, the surprise and alarm clear on her face.
“ That’s why you were so concerned about them back when you sent me to Omega.”
“Yes. But Feron and I stopped him.” Liara looked out the window again, though she seemed to be somewhere else entirely within her mind, “Feron sacrificed himself to save me. Now you’ve given me a chance to save him. After two years, I hadn’t even dreamed…” She added quietly.
“Well, let’s not waste any time, then.” Jane stood suddenly, and Garrus followed, “What’s the next step?” Garrus glanced at her, trepidation building he realized they were not, in fact, going to simply run errands that day.
“I… I don’t know.” Liara turned suddenly, her face drawn as thoughts and ideas seemed to flit through her head, “I need to prepare, to think.” Suddenly, she was a flurry of activity, grabbing things off her desk and out of draws, packing them into a small bag as she continued, “I’m going home, let my new assistant know if you need anything, I-” Liara started for the door, but Jane grabbed her arm gently, her face concerned.
“You okay?” Jane asked, her voice low. After a pause, Liara replied, her expression distracted and conflicted.
“I’ve spent two years plotting revenge.” She looked up to lock eyes with Jane, a small, hopeful smile on her lips, “Now I have a chance to make it a rescue.”
“Let us help.” Jane insisted, her tone demanding rather than suggesting, “We’ll meet you at your apartment?” Liara only hesitated for a second before nodding her head.
“Okay. Hopefully I’ll have a plan by then. Thank you, Jane. Garrus.” With a nod of the head, Liara turned and left, and Garrus turned to face Jane, his eyes full of concern.
“Jane, are you sure this is a good idea? I don’t think the Shadow Broker is going to take us knocking on his front door sitting down. Maybe we should call Shepard, he-” Garrus started, but Jane shook her head vehemently.
“No.” She stated firmly, her eyes hard, “They’ve got plenty on their plate, and we can handle this.” Jane turned to the door, and Garrus sighed.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” He asked quietly, crossing his arms to hide his building anxiety. Jane’s jaw tightened and Garrus noticed one of her hands tremble slightly where it rested at her side before she clenched it into a firm fist.
“Yes.” With that, she strode out of the room. Garrus sighed before glancing out the window to see the darkening clouds on the horizon, a storm slowly moving in on the city. He turned and followed after, his brow plates drawing down in unease.
As soon as they arrived at Liara’s apartment building, it was obvious something was wrong. The number of police cars parked outside the front door was telling, and it was too much to hope that it was a coincidence. The storm Garrus had seen earlier was approaching quickly, crashes of lightning in the distance visible occasionally, flashing off the glass of nearby buildings and adding to the grim atmosphere as the sky darkened.
Jane and Garrus hurried through the doors and up the elevator, but their fears were quickly confirmed when they arrived at Liara’s front door only to find it open, a police officer hurrying past them on his way out. There was a barricade set up just within the door, and Jane paused in front of it before catching the attention of a nearby officer.
“What’s going on here?” The officer turned to face them at Jane’s question, glancing up briefly from her data pad.
“This area is sealed off. Please step back, ma’am.”
“Sealed off? Why?” Jane demanded, and Garrus stepped up beside her, his eyes scanning the room.
The apartment was clearly being investigated as a crime scene, Garrus noted with trepidation. He didn’t need to be an ex-cop to notice the signs as officers scanned for clues and evidence, hand prints being lifted and, Garrus noticed with alarm, bullet holes being examined.
“Well, if it isn’t Shepard. Wasn’t expecting to see you here.” Garrus turned to see a blue armored asari descending a nearby staircase, her eyes locked on Jane.
“Vasir. It’s been a while.” Jane stated cooly, her expression caught between curious and cautious in a way that immediately put Garrus on edge. Vasir turned suddenly to the nearby officer.
“Thank you, officer. Your people are dismissed.” She stated, her voice clipped as she turned away just as suddenly with apparent lack of concern. Jane raised a single eyebrow, flashing a crooked, amused smile at the officer as she stepped past the barrier, causing it to beep angrily.
“H-hey!” The officer held out a hand to stop her, but Jane just shrugged it off before stepping further into the room. With a quick apology to the officer, Garrus followed after her. “You can’t do that!” The officer protested, but Vasir barely registered her.
“Already done.” She glanced back over her shoulder before turning away again, her dismissal clear. Grumbling, the officer made a rude gesture in Vasir’s direction before calling for the others. Directing them out of the room, it was only a matter of moments before they were alone.
Jane took the few steps up into the living area, and Vasir turned to face her as she neared. The two women stared each other down for a moment before extending their hands, shaking firmly.
“It’s good to see you, Shepard. I was starting to worry, I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“Good to see you, too. Sorry about going silent, there hasn’t been much to report regarding my original mission in some time, but I’ve been in contact with the council regularly.”
“I see.” Vasir turned to eye Garrus, and Jane turned to gesture for him to join them.
“Garrus, this is Tela Vasir, Special Tactics and Reconnaissance.” He came to stand beside Jane, his eyes widening in surprise.
“A Spectre?” He asked, extending his hand, which Vasir shook.
“I’m assuming you’ve scanned for bugs already?” Jane asked the other woman, who raised an eyebrow at her.
“Naturally.” Vasir replied, and Jane turned back to Garrus.
“Vasir conducted my initial training and mentorship when I was made a Spectre.” She explained, and Garrus nodded slowly. She turned back to Vasir and gestured to Garrus, “This is Garrus Vakarian, we serve together aboard the Normandy SR2.”
“Ah, yes, I heard that Commander Shepard was alive and had been reinstated. That must be nice for you.” Vasir stated, her voice light and casual in a way that made Garrus’ plates grate. “He was one of our most famous operatives. Might ask you to get him to sign my chest plate.” Garrus looked to Jane, whose eyes narrowed imperceptibly.
“So, what are you even doing here?” Jane asked almost offhandedly, ignoring the comments as she scanned the room, “Where is Liara? What happened?” Garrus’ eyes landed on the holes in the large windows.
“Someone tried to kill your friend.” Instantly, Vasir’s expression grew serious, her eyes narrowing.
“Is she okay? Where is she?” Garrus asked, controlling the alarm in his subvocals.
“I’m not sure, that’s what I’d like to discover, if I can. I assume you had business with T’soni this evening, Shepard?” Vasir asked, and after a heartbeat, Jane nodded. She spun slowly, her eyes roaming the apartment before she returned her attention back to the asari Spectre.
“She was following a lead.” Jane stated simply, but after a pause, she added, “She was expecting us. Do you mind if we look around? Maybe we can find a hint as to where she went.” The room went silent as their eyes locked, and Garrus could have sworn the room chilled a few degrees before Vasir replied.
“Of course, be my guest.” She crossed her arms, her expression growing frustrated, “I haven’t found anything useful for tracking her down yet. You knew T’soni better than I do. Where would she have hidden a message?” At that, Jane turned to examine the apartment again.
“I’m not sure. Let’s take a look around.” That last part she directed at Garrus before slowly making her way around the room, stopping momentarily to examine some of the many artifacts. Once they were out of earshot of Vasir, Garrus nudged Jane’s shoulder.
“Is there a reason you’re not trusting Vasir with what we know so far? About the data Liara is investigating and the Shadow Broker?” He whispered, and Jane frowned as she seemed to hesitate.
“I can’t be sure, something just feels off. About her, about this situation, all of it. Liara didn’t trust her, and something about Vasir’s demeanor seems wrong. I can’t put my finger on it. Besides that, I can’t figure out why she’s here. Spectres don’t step in to investigate attempted murders on low level information brokers, not without a reason. Until I know what that reason is, I don’t trust her.”
“I thought you guys were friends?” Jane barked a quiet, unamused laugh, shaking her head.
“Were you friends with everyone you worked with?” She had him there, so he dropped the matter. “Okay, mister ex-cop.” She continued, “You were an investigator, weren’t you? Let’s find us some clues as to what happened to Liara.”
Garrus found it mildly interesting that the procedures and mindset of an investigator came back to him so quickly, even lacking the usual tools he would have had in his arsenal. They methodically made their way throughout the apartment, but as far as he could tell, they failed to uncover anything that hadn’t already been found by the officers before them.
With some trepidation, he took a closer look at the holes in the glass, noticing with interest and concern that the building seemed to have kinetic barriers. While that wasn’t uncommon, particularly in nice highrise apartment buildings such as this, it did mean that whatever model rifle did this had managed to punch right through the barriers before cutting through the glass as though it were butter. He shuddered to think what they would have found had the shot found its mark.
“It couldn’t have been a standard issue rifle.” Garrus mused as he stood from examining the bullet holes in the floor, and Jane nodded.
“I agree.” Vasir stated from where she stood nearby, watching them carefully. Jane looked at her, but said nothing as she moved on. Vasir’s eyes continued to follow them as they moved through the room.
By the time they made their way up to her bedroom loft, Garrus was starting to lose hope that they would find anything worth their while. The good news was that they’d found a complete lack of evidence of a struggle or that Liara was in anyway injured in the attack. But they were no closer to figuring out where Liara went than when they’d first arrived.
“Huh.” Jane muttered as her eyes locked onto a photo displayed on a frame beside the large, comfortable looking bed. Garrus followed her and smiled as he recognized the picture, for it was one he had a copy of as well. He remembered that day aboard the Normandy SR1 when the ground team had all pressed together for a picture, arms thrown around each other’s shoulders in order to fit everyone into the frame. It had been just after a successful mission and they’d all been high off their victory, smiles large with infectious good cheer.
Even though they’d posed for it, the photo had a somewhat candid feel as they’d been caught in the middle of a particularly large bout of laughter. Shepard and Jane were in the middle, their heads together as they leaned into each other, their eyes crinkled to accommodate their huge grins. Wrex stood behind them, his hands on their shoulders with Liara standing on her tiptoes beside him waving her hand pleasantly toward the camera. John had his other arm around Tali, who was being pressed further into the older man by Kaidan as he attempted to squeeze into the frame. On Jane’s side, Garrus was being pressed into her by a grinning Ashley.
Garrus came to stand beside Jane as she looked down at the picture, a small smile gracing her lips. He couldn’t help the flush as she began to bend to pick up the picture. The Garrus in the photo wasn’t looking at the camera, instead glancing down to gaze fondly at Jane, his smile happy and gentle, oblivious to the goings on around him. Even then, he’d clearly been besotted, that much was obvious.
As Jane picked up the photo frame, she brought her other hand up and let her fingers brush against the screen affectionately. She turned to look up at him, her expression soft as she smiled at him. Garrus returned the smile at her crookedly, but froze as he saw the frame flicker. Looking back down at the picture, he blinked.
“Uh, Jane? Look.” She looked back down at the frame to see that the photo had changed suddenly, instead displaying a landscape with a giant, Prothean structure. Garrus held his hand out for the frame, but when she handed it to him, it quickly flicked back to the photo of the old ground team. After holding it for a few moments and seeing no change, he handed it back to her. “Huh. It must be keyed to your ID.” Garrus whispered as they watched it switch back to the second photo. “Do you think Liara left this for us to find?”
“I suppose so.” Jane replied quietly, glancing over her shoulder to insure they weren’t being observed by Vasir, but she’d remained downstairs. “Do you think she’s trying to tell us something? There’s plenty of other Prothean artifacts around here. Maybe she left something for us to find, something to point us in the right direction.”
“Anything’s possible.” Garrus shrugged as she put the frame down. Jane began walking around the room, glancing down at the Prothean artifacts encased in glass nearby. She brushed her fingers across the glass, but after finding nothing, she glanced around the room. She casually made her way downstairs, nodding to Vasir as she looked up at them.
As soon as Vasir looked away again, Garrus moved to block her view as Jane made her way to the nearest display case. Inside was what appeared to be some sort of sculpture, though it was hard to tell. Bringing her hand up, Jane brushed her finger tips against the glass, and this time there was an immediate reaction. A small holodisplay appeared at her fingertips, rippling outwards to acknowledge the touch. There was a soft click and a drawer slid out to reveal a small data disk.
“Bingo.” Jane breathed as she snatched it up before quickly closing the drawer. Tucking the data disk away, she casually moved out into the middle of the room.
“Well, Vasir. We haven’t been able to find anything. I think we’re going to head out and see if we can’t get a hold of her another way.” Jane stated with a casual wave in the asari’s direction. Vasir turned and raised a brow at them in question, her expression surprised.
“Giving up that quickly, huh? Well, let me know if you find anything, I’d like to get to the bottom of this.”
“Sure thing. It was good seeing you again.”
“Likewise, Shepard. Take care of yourself. It was nice meeting you, Vakarian.” Vasir replied before turning back to her investigation, pulling up her omni-tool as she inspected one of the display cases across the room. Jane quickly turned and made for the door, and Garrus followed after her.
Once they made it outside, Jane beelined for their skycar as she pulled out the data disk, scanning it as she walked. “Time to see what this is all about.” She muttered as she pulled up the vid, hitting play as they arrived beside the car. The image of a salarian popped up, and Garrus realized it must have been a recorded call.
“ What have you got for me, Sekat?” Liara’s disembodied voice asked, distorted by the omni-tool’s tiny speakers.
“ It was tricky, but you paid for the best.” Replied to salaraian, his voice confident to the point of cockiness, “ I can narrow it down to a cluster, maybe even a system.”
“How soon can you have it?” Liara asked, her voice urgent.
“ Shouldn’t take long. Come by my office. Baria Frontiers, in the Dracon Trade Center.” The salarian gestured vaguely before continuing, “ Gotta say, though, T’soni. You’re making me a little nervous. How big is the trouble that could come out of this?” He crossed his arms, his expression becoming concerned.
“ Relax, Sekat. I’ll see you in a few hours.” With that, the vid cut out, and Jane frowned. Pulling up the file’s data, she checked the time stamp.
“This is from earlier this afternoon. Either way, looks like the Dracon Trade Center is our next stop in this investigation.” Jane closed her omni-tool, bringing a hand up to her chin as she considered her plan of action.
“Either she’s there now, or he’ll be able to give us a hint as to where to find her.” Garrus murmured thoughtfully.
“Exactly. Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to head to the Dracon Trade Center on my own and track down Liara. No, don’t argue.” Jane turned to him, her eyes hard as she interrupted his attempt to speak up, “I’ll stay in contact, you don’t need to worry about me. What I need you to do is stay behind and track Vasir when she leaves here.”
“What?” Garrus asked in astonishment, his eyes going wide, “Why would you want me to do that? What can following her possibly tell us?”
“I’m not sure, but I don’t like that she’s involved in this. She’s up to something, and I’m starting to agree with Liara. I know she has some sort of interest in the Shadow Broker as well, it’s why she wanted me placed within Cerberus for some reason. If you aren’t able to learn anything, then fine, maybe she’s not involved and I’m being paranoid. But I have a feeling in my gut.” They stared at each other for a few moments before Garrus finally looked away, frowning.
“I don’t like this, Jane. I can’t watch your six if we’re separated. And I promised Shepard I’d watch out for you, too. You’re still recovering, I-”
“I can take care of myself, Garrus. You need to trust me.” She snapped and he felt a flash of hurt until she took a deep breath and brought a hand up to his arm. “I’m sorry, I’m just… Please just trust me. I can handle this. But I need to know what stakes Vasir has in all of this. Will you do this for me? Please?”
Garrus looked back to her, their eyes locking. After a moment, he nodded reluctantly.
“Okay. But as soon as it’s clear that she’s not involved, I’m going to head to your location.”
“Deal.” With that, Jane leaned in on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his mouth plates. He brought a hand up to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. His other hand came up rake through her hair, causing her to moan into their kiss. When they broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers. “Be careful with Vasir. She’s crafty and she’s dangerous.” Jane whispered, her words low and rasping.
“I followed you without you knowing back on the Citadel. I think I can handle her.” Garrus chuckled and Jane rolled her eyes fondly, but they both sobered quickly. “Please be careful. Stay in contact.” He whispered, his voice rough with emotions he didn’t want to acknowledge.
“You, too.” With that, Jane pulled away from him and moved toward the sky car’s door. Opening it, she leapt inside. As the door began closing, she looked up at him and their eyes met. Garrus felt three little words burning in his throat, begging to be released. But then the door closed and his mouth snapped shut. Before he knew it, he was watching as the tail lights of the car disappeared out of view around a building.
Not wasting any time, Garrus beelined for the nearby public transport console and ordered another skycar. As soon as it arrived, he hopped in and searched for a spot to park that would give him a good vantage point. He’d done his fair share of stakeouts, he knew how it worked.
As soon as he parked, he hunkered down ready to wait for Vasir to finish her investigation. Surprisingly, he didn’t need to wait long. Within five minutes, Vasir came striding out of the building, immediately making for a skycar parked nearby.
“Vasir just left the apartment, heading to her car.” He muttered into the com, making sure to stay low so as not to be spotted. “Seems to be in a bit of a rush.”
“ Huh, odd. Maybe she got a tip off from somewhere else? Stay on her.” Came Jane’s reply, “ I should be arriving at the Dracon Trade Center soon, it doesn’t seem to be too far.”
“Well, feel free to take your time. I know what you’re like behind the wheel, you speed demon.” He imparted as much dry amusement as he could through his voice, causing her to chuckle.
“ Shut it, peanut gallery .” Jane snapped with mock disgruntlement, causing him to smile. Nearby, Vasir started up her car quickly and it lifted off into the air before darting out of the parking area.
“What under the Spirits is a peanut gallery? ” Garrus asked, his voice bemused as he quickly maneuvered his own car into the air and in the same direction as the asari’s.
“ Look it up on your own time, Big Guy. I can see the building in the distance, I’ll let you know when I’m heading in .” With that, the com went silent, and he was left to own musings. As they broke out into the crowded skies above Nos Astra, he made sure to keep a safe, cautious distance between them while not letting her out of his sight. “ Okay, I’m heading inside, I’ll let you know if I find Liara or her contact. Keep radio silence until then unless you learn something new .”
It became surprisingly difficult to keep up with Vasir as she weaved between buildings, her speed slowly increasing with a mounting impatience. He didn’t know the city well enough to know where they were going, and so gained little insight when he chanced a moment to look down at the skycar’s nav display.
Finally, she seemed to begin slowing as they arrived in a business district in an area Garrus didn’t recognize. Without much concern, Vasir landed her skycar right in front of a large building, the door popping open before she stepped out. Garrus parked his car a little distance off in a lower parking lot, hoping not to draw her attention. When he opened the door, he was instantly assaulted by the thick, heavy smell of impending rain.
The city had long since begun darkening, both with the onset of evening and the oncoming storm, the bright lights of nightlife springing up to add flashes and pops of color. Garrus hurried up the stairs toward where Vasir had parked, hoping he hadn’t lost his chance to follow her further. But as he neared the top, he froze as he took a moment to read the brightly lit name of the building above the front doors.
“The Dracon Trade Center?” He muttered in confusion, the implications running wild as they knitted together possibilities in his imagination. Suspicion mounting, he opened the com to warn Jane. “Vasir just arrived at the Dracon Trade Center, I don’t know how she knew where to go.”
He was met with silence, nothing but a faint background noise coming through the coms. Frowning, he tried again, checking the signal. Were they being jammed?
“Hands in the air, no sudden movements.” Garrus froze, cursing silently as he looked up to see Vasir standing at the top of the stairs with her weapon drawn on him, her eyes cold and calculating. Slowly, Garrus put his hands in the air, and she nodded. "Good. Come to the top of the stairs where I can see you properly."
"What are you doing here?" He asked calmly, despite the anxiety growing in his chest.
"I heard on my scanner that police had been called to this building after a report of suspicious activity. Armed men with a number of unmarked packages. Why are you here, Vakarian? Where's Shepard?" Garrus remained silent at that, unnerved by the information she'd shared. "Ah, let me guess. She set her sidekick, her faithful hound, to hunt me while she ran off after T'soni. Tsk . Figures." She holstered her weapon and crossed her arms, her eyes still not leaving him as he slowly lowered his hands. "She always was a clever one. Foolhardy and short sighted, but clever. Where-"
An explosion burst through the third floor of the Dracon Trade Center, followed by the second and fourth, a wall of hot air and shrapnel smashing into them. They both brought up their arms to shield their faces, the sounds of screams and tinkling glass assaulting their ears. Garrus brought his hands down, staring up in mounting horror at the decimated offices now exposed to the cool evening air like a gaping wound.
" JANE !"
Notes:
Thank you all for your well wishes! I have the kindest, most supportive readers! I also have the best beta readers, so thank you to thelordofdarkreunion and zwober! These few chapters were so much fun to write, I hope you are all enjoying them. I'm always open to thoughts, comments, critique, and predictions! I hope you all have a fantastic week 🥰
Chapter 44: Part 2: Chapter 19
Summary:
In which Garrus doesn't get to drive.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 19
Illium
Screams reverberated across the plaza, injured civilians crying and moaning as flaming debris smoldered where they’d fallen. Garrus’ eyes went wide as he surveyed the wreckage and carnage around him, bodies strewn about like discarded playthings. Nearby he could hear alarms beginning to ring, shouts echoing as horrified onlookers mobilized to assist the injured. His body felt numb as he struggled to process what had just happened while above him the roiling clouds slowly moved in over the city.
“Jane’s in there!” He shouted at Vasir as dread creeped up his throat from his belly. Immediately he activated his comm and begged Jane to reply, but still he got nothing but faint static. He was momentarily thrust back to that instant weeks ago as he’d watched Morinth leading her out of the club, the moment where he’d realized how much he had to lose.
“They just took out three floors to make sure T’soni’s dead! I’ll head to the roof and seal off the building from the top!” Vasir shouted as she hurried back to her nearby sky car while Garrus pulled out his assault rifle.
“I’ll start down here and work my way up.” He replied with a growl as he started toward the demolished front door.
“Just leave some for me!” She shot back at him as the sky car’s door closed. Garrus dodged around the bodies of the dead and dying, his mind zeroing in on the one person he prayed was still alive.
The smell of charred flesh scorched the inside of his nose as he forced his eyes to scan each and every body he encountered, dreading the moment he’d find a splash of red hair splayed across the floor. The flames burning nearby coupled with the flickering illumination of damaged overhead lighting made it difficult to pick his way around the debris, but he quickly made his way toward the stairs.
Garrus paused when he came across the body of a salarian wearing a uniform, the company’s name emblazoned upon his breast.
“Baria Frontiers…” Garrus muttered as he noted the haphazard bullet holes riddling the man’s body. Whatever, whoever, killed this man, it hadn’t been the explosion, that much was obvious. He hurried up the stairs, each step more hurried than the one before. Jane had to still be alive, he couldn’t… wouldn’t entertain any other alternatives. He tried hailing her once again. No response. He cursed.
As Garrus stepped out into the second floor’s atrium, he noticed more of the same: dead and injured civilians, fires leftover from the explosions, and the alarming groan of damaged infrastructure. But then he immediately noticed the body of one man in particular, an unmarked merc clutching an assault rifle. Glancing up, he noticed more armored bodies ahead, strewn across the stairs leading up farther into the building. Blood trickled, dripping down the treads as it leaked from corpses, but Garrus hardly noticed as he rushed up to the next floor.
He froze as his eyes landed on the unarmed military grade explosive device sitting on a low ledge by the door of a nearby office. Carefully, Garrus approached it, but as soon as he decided it wasn’t a threat, he turned his eyes toward the office. Baria Frontiers seemed no different than any of the other offices located in the building, except for the two dead mercs lying outside its front door.
Garrus approached quickly, and as he noted the clean bullet hole through the head of one and the broken neck of the other, he felt his breath catch. It was neat and precise handiwork, not unlike the work of a master plying their trade. Handiwork that he recognized.
His feet carried him through the doors and into the offices in a flash, hope blooming in his chest, spurring him on faster. The lights flickered, but the darkness failed to hide the bodies of the mercs laying about, riddled with bullet wounds, his path ahead blessedly clear. He hurried up another flight of stairs, leaping over the bodies of yet more dead mercs.
Garrus stopped as he heard the muffled sounds of conversation and he darted into cover, checking his rifle. Carefully, he ducked his head out just far enough to catch a glimpse of movement in the next room. A flash of red, a familiar voice-
“Jane?” He called out, his heart hammering in his chest as he waited for a reply. Spirits , he needed to hear her voice, any sign that she was alive.
“In here!” Garrus released the breath he was holding as he heard the reply, the joy evoked by the sound of her voice nearly overshadowing the horror of the situation. He double checked the course was clear before darting out of cover, desperate to lay eyes on her, to see she was truly safe. But he came to a screeching halt as he passed through the door into the next room, his weapon lowering in confusion.
“What-?”
Jane and Vasir stood at either end of the room, pistols drawn on each other, their eyes locked as they considered the other coldly. Jane’s body was tense, coiled like a spring about to snap. Vasir, who appeared to be clutching a data disk in her off hand, seemed relaxed and confident.
“What’s going on here?” Garrus asked sharply, leveling his weapon on Vasir, his eyes still darting between the two of them.
“Vasir is working for the Shadow Broker.” He jumped at the sudden voice of Liara T’soni, and he turned slightly to see her kneeling in front of a bleeding salarian, her omni-tool out as she applied medi-gel.
“Liara? But how did she…?” Garrus looked back up at Vasir, whose lips curled up in a sardonic smile.
“I knew we couldn’t trust you, but I hadn’t thought you’d sunk this low, Vasir.” Jane spat as the two women took a step sidewise in near unison, slowly circling each other.
“I saw her!” Liara accused, “I doubled back after I left. I watched you break into my apartment.” She stood suddenly, turning to jab a finger in the other asari’s direction.
“You didn’t know where Liara went. But you’d hoped I would find a message if she left one.” Jane finished, her eyes narrowing, the hand holding her pistol trembling ever so slightly. “What I don’t understand is how you found out she was here.”
Vasir barked a harsh laugh, her face distorting in amused disgust.
“I thought I trained you better than that. You of all people should know, Shepard. On Illium, there’s always someone watching. You thought you were safe when you took your little prize outside, but it wasn’t hard to tap into the apartment building’s security system. Including the parking lot cameras.” Jane was silent at the revelation, no doubt kicking herself for the oversight as much as Garrus was. Vasir shrugged, her smile smug, “Thanks for the help.”
“Once she had my location, she signaled the Shadow Broker’s forces. They bombed the building to take me out.” Liara stated as she came to stand beside Jane, her pistol suddenly drawn and trained upon the other asari. Vasir’s eyes narrowed as she took a slow step backwards toward the window behind her.
“No hard feelings, Shepard.” She shrugged, taking another small step backwards, “If you’d just shared the data from the start, you never would have needed to be in harm’s way. Or maybe if you’d just taken the data from Cerberus to begin with, as I had asked months ago, no one would have needed to die.”
“You’re not going to get away with this, Vasir.” Jane growled, her finger tightening on the trigger despite the continuing tremble, “You blew up a building full of innocent people.”
“A Spectre does what they need to to get the job done.” Vasir stated, bringing her hand behind her to tuck the data disk away. They stared each other down for a silent moment before Jane replied.
“Yes, we do.”
They both moved in the same instant and the room burst into chaos. A sparking, blue glow sprung up around Vasir and her expression hardened. The window behind her cracked loudly before splintering into thousands of tiny shards.
Jane fired off three quick shots just as Vasir sent the shards flying at them, her trembling hand causing the first two to fly wide, the third just grazing the other Spectre’s arm. Vasir returned fire just as Garrus grabbed Liara and pulled her down and out of the line of fire.
“Damn it!” Jane cried as she lifted a hand to protect her face, but the shards shattered and crashed against a sudden biotic barrier that sprung up to protect them. Garrus helped Liara regain her footing as she held the barrier above them, cursing softly under her breath. He looked up to see Vasir turn and dash toward the window, and he realized she was going to jump. “Oh no you don’t!” Jane yelled as she took off after Vasir, darting right through the barrier without hesitation.
“Jane, no!” He called as he realized what she was doing, and shouldered past Liara to grab her, but he was too late. Jane lept on Vasir, grabbing her around the middle and reaching for the data disk just as she reached the window, causing both women to hit what remained of the glass with enough force to shatter it.
Garrus’ heart seized as they were flung out into the air and, for a split second, they seemed to hover before tumbling down toward the hard ground below. He ran to the window and looked out to see Vasir’s biotics spring up around them both, slowing their fall as they grappled with each other.
Jane managed to get in a good right hook, catching Vasir hard in the cheek, but the asari twisted to ram her knee hard into Jane’s middle. With a shove, Vasir pried them apart and with a final kick, Jane lost her grip a few meters above the ground. She hit the ground hard, tumbling amidst the shattered glass until she stopped, prone and unmoving. Vasir landed hard, crouched like a cat, and soon took off running through the atrium toward the stairs leading to the lobby.
“Crap!” Garrus hissed as he peered down at Jane where she lay, still motionless, but just as he was about to stand and hurry toward the office’s exit, he heard the pounding of running feet. He turned just in time to see Liara leap over him, flinging herself out the window as well. Her biotics sprung up around her, slowing her descent as she floated down toward the lower level.
As soon as Liara’s feet hit the ground, she took off after Vasir without so much as a backward glance at Jane. Cursing again, Garrus didn’t even bother trying to calculate the height of the fall, opting for the stairs like a sane person . Which he must be the only one of in the whole goddamn building, he thought angrily as he sprinted toward the stairs.
Garrus slid to a stop beside Jane as soon as he reached the atrium, where, to his great relief, she was slowly starting to pull herself up onto her knees. He quickly offered her a hand, and she grasped his forearm, allowing him to help her up.
“Are you okay?” He asked hurriedly, his subvocals revealing his elation as she stood.
“I think so,” She stated with a wince, bringing up a hand to feel her side, “I think I bruised a rib. Just got banged around a little.”
“That was stupid and reckless.” He pointed out, but he couldn’t stop the relieved smile from creeping across his face.
“Yeah, it was.” Jane groaned as she rolled her neck and then her shoulder, “But that’s nothing new.” They heard the far off sound of shouts and gunfire, and they both pulled out their own weapons. “We’ve gotta catch up to Liara.” She stated firmly before looking up at him, a smile starting to form on her lips. “Ready?”
Checking his heat sink, he grinned back at her, “At your six.” At that moment, they heard the rush of boots on stairs, and dove into cover just as the first merc hurried out into the atrium.
Jane and Garrus fell into an old, familiar dance as they ducked out to return fire, covering each other as they exchanged heat sinks or pushed forward. He’d missed fighting alongside her the past few weeks as she’d recovered, and if he’d been worried that she’d gotten rusty, she was currently diswading him of that. She wasn’t entirely her old self, as demonstrated by her occasional slight tremor, but improvement was vast in comparison to just weeks ago.
“So how did you survive the blast?” He asked after a minute or two, and Jane responded with a harsh bark of unamused laughter.
“Dumb luck, I suppose. Was in the right spot at the wrong time. Ran into Liara and we had to fight our way into the office, but we were too late to protect Sekat or prevent Vasir from stealing the data disk.”
It didn’t take them long to fight their way down stairs, the mercs serving as only a small barrier for them. They made their way back through the lobby, leaving nothing but bodies in their wake.
“There she is!” Jane pointed to where Liara crouched behind a skycar, gun raised as she prepared to shoot. Not far away, Vasir sheltered behind another skycar, protected from Liara’s attacks. A crack of lightning lit up the sky, and moments later a chilly breeze cut through the plaza.
Vasir’s omni-tool sprang up over her forearm, and she hurriedly began inputting commands. Within seconds, a skycar carefully maneuvered through the air, disappearing over the nearby ledge. Without more than half a glance back at them, Vasir turned and sprinted toward the edge, her biotics engulfing her as she lept toward the hovering skycar.
Jane and Garrus ran toward the edge only to watch as the door closed on Vasir before she quickly made for the sky.
“Goddamn it!” Jane cursed, whipping up her pistol to take a few pointless pot shots at the skycar as it darted away.
“Over here!” Liara yelled, and Garrus turned to see the asari gesturing toward another sky car that had been parked nearby. Jane beelined for it, hopping into the driver’s seat. Liara hesitantly climbed into the backseat, but Garrus paused for a moment beside it.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive?” He asked pointedly, causing Jane to roll her eyes.
“Just get your ass in the car.” Begrudgingly, Garrus climbed into the front passenger seat, buckling himself in with extreme care. Even though he knew they were about to be in for an experience , he couldn’t stop himself from gazing briefly at Jane as his mandibles flicked outwards in a smile. Somehow, she’d survived the explosion and the fall through that window, it seemed hard to feel disgruntled in the face of such luck. Or maybe that was just the adrenaline talking.
“What could possibly go wrong?” Liara asked, her voice drier than he could ever remember it being.
“Famous last words.” He chuckled grimly as Jane booted the car up, her sudden smile far too enthusiastic in his opinion
“Come on, she’s getting away!” Liara urged, her anxiety to go nearly palpable as Jane fiddled with the chair settings.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Garrus stated just before they were thrown back into their seats as Jane rammed her foot down onto the peddle. Liara yelped in the backseat as the car went tearing off after Vasir.
“You’re both being melodramatic. She’s just a little ahead of us and the sky is wide open. How hard could this possibly end up being?” Jane spun the wheel sharp, sending them careening around a corner. Garrus sighed as he braced his feet and gripped a nearby handle.
“If Illium is as much like Omega as you say it is, then you only need three things: A good horn, good breaks, and good luck.”
“Oh, Goddess-!” Liara choked out a cry as Jane jammed the wheel forward, forcing the car into a nosedive just in time to dodge under an oncoming car. Just ahead, they could see the tail lights of Vasir’s vehicle as it turned. “Hang a right! No, your other right!” Liara nearly screeched as they were tossed about, Jane’s hands furiously working the wheel.
“Make up your damn mind!” Jane hissed, her expression pinched with focus as her eyes followed their prey. “I’m on her, don’t worry.”
“Hang a left!” Liara added a moment later, causing Jane to growl.
“Stop backseat driving!”
“Okay, sorry!” Liara replied, sounding equally annoyed, causing Garrus to chuckle as they were thrown about.
“Where did you get your license, Jane? A cereal box?” He asked, and Jane turned her head to shoot him a glare, causing Liara to snap at her to keep her eyes forward.
“I’ll have you know that I passed my N level combat driving course.” Jane stated matter of factly.
“With what grade?” Garrus asked, his grin growing as she paused before answering.
“High enough to pass.” Jane muttered begrudgingly, causing Garrus to laugh even as he was thrown hard into the door as she turned suddenly again.
“How can you be laughing right now?” Liara asked incredulously, “Vasir is getting away with that data, and Jane is going to kill us, and you’re- Jane! Red light! Oncoming traffic! Red light! ” Jane shot through the intersection, pulling up just enough to skate over the top of another car passing through it. The sound of metal grating and scraping on metal caused Garrus to wince, but Jane continued on, picking up speed as she followed after Vasir.
“We’re fine, stop worrying.” Jane stated nonchalantly, but after a moment of silence from the rest of the car, she continued, “Red lights are more of a suggestion, anyway.” Garrus raised a brow at that, but she probably knew exactly how bad that sounded.
They dodged and weaved through traffic as they followed Vasir in and out of tunnels, Liara seemingly caught between urging Jane to go faster and begging her to slow down as they were jostled about.
Vasir cut off a truck suddenly, causing it to swerve and lose control. The large tanker spun, cutting off most of the lanes passing through the tunnel, and Garrus felt the tight grip of fear in his throat as they careened toward it.
“Truck!” Liara cried, pointing forward at it as they approached it.
“I know.” Jane said calmly. The truck loomed nearer.
“ Truck! ” Liara shouted again, her voice rising in panic.
“ I know! ” Jane yelled back at her in irritation just as she pressed forward on the controls. She sent them hurtling downward toward the bottom of the tunnel, missing the truck by mere inches before it smashed into the tunnel wall.
“I don’t get what you guys are so worked up about, we’re still alive! And did you see that? It passed right over us, wasn’t that some smooth driving?”
“No, but then again, I don’t have a death wish.” Garrus replied, raising a brow at her, causing her to deadpan.
“Oh, fuck you, Vakarian. Who asked you anyway?” She glanced at him and he could see the smallest hint of an upward curl of her lips.
“Car!” Liara yelped suddenly, and Garrus looked up just as Jane managed to jerk them out of the way just in time to only clip it, the side mirror flying off as they bounced off the other car.
“No problem, you weren’t using that anyway.” Garrus drawled dryly, and he grinned as he was rewarded with an indignant huff. Jane shot him a look before intentionally cutting hard to the right, swiping the side of another car, losing the other side mirror. She righted them, speeding up to keep with Vasir as she turned a corner. Jane’s face remained completely neutral as he raised a brow plate at her.
“Wasn’t using that one either.” She stated matter of factly with a shrug, causing Liara to groan with despondent frustration.
“Why would you do that? How are you going to see cars in your blindspots now?” Liara asked, her voice aggravated and disbelieving. Jane rolled her eyes as her self satisfied smile returned.
“Blind spots are for other drivers.”
Just then, he noticed Vasir toss something out her window, and whatever it was pulsed with a small red light as it hovered in the air.
“She’s dropping proximity charges.” Garrus stated as he tensed, his subvocals losing all hints of humor.
“I see them.” Jane replied as she flew wide of it. She nearly dodged around the next, but it exploded without warning as they got too close, the shockwave hitting their car hard. As they righted themselves, Garrus glanced at Jane to see her gripping the wheel, her brows drawn in her first real look of concern since they’d taken the car.
Slowing, Jane seemed to take more care than ever before as she maneuvered them around the proximity charges hovering ominously before them, but after a minute or two, it was clear Vasir was putting substantial distance between them.
“Crap.” Jane growled, her fingers digging into the wheel as she glared at the distant glow of the asari’s tail lights. Just then, a van went careening past them, smacking into a nearby car as it tried to crash into theirs.
“She’s got reinforcements!” Liara shouted as Jane groaned.
“ Craaaaap .” Jane spun the wheel, barely managing to dodge as another car tried to ram them. After a moment, Jane continued, “What kind of weapons does this thing have?”
“It’s a taxi!” Liara replied with incredulity, “It has a fare meter !”
“At least it seems like Vasir’s run out of proximity charges…” Jane huffed as she continued to duck and weave as the other cars attempted to slow or stop her. While they did seem to be gaining on Vasir again, Garrus was beginning to suspect it would require a miracle for any of them to survive.
They turned a corner, and suddenly the van was just ahead and coming right at them. Jane jerked the wheel, and the van shot past them, smashing directly into the car that had been tailing them closely. Liara gasped, bringing a hand to cover her mouth in shock as the van and car spun down toward the ground far below, engulfed in flames.
“A head-on collision at this speed…” She muttered, clearly horrified, causing Jane to scoff.
“Yeah,” She stated dryly as she accelerated, gaining on Vasir quickly, “I hear those can be bad for you.” Just ahead of them, a truck began turning, cutting off Vasir, forcing her to cut hard to the right in order to avoid it. Jane shot forward, accelerating until she was able to pull up neck in neck with her.
“Force her to land!” Liara demanded, leaning forward between the front chairs as she glared at Vasir through the window. The other asari looked up and noticed them with a start before glaring right back at them.
“Watch out!” Garrus braced himself as Vasir’s car leaned in and shouldered hard into them. Jane fought with the controls to steady their course before cutting the wheel hard to the right, ramming them into the side of Vasir’s car in turn.
The two skycars bounced against each other, metal screeching against metal as they veered from side to side, each pressing for advantage. Garrus looked up to see another car from oncoming traffic hurtling toward them, and he felt the icy chill of the impending crash under his plates.
“Oncoming car!”
“I know!” Jane growled, but the two cars continued their battle for dominance, neither car pulling away as the oncoming car drew nearer. Garrus clenched his jaw, unable to tear his eyes away as they played an ill-fated game of what he believed humans called ‘chicken’.
The car, seemingly unaware of them, loomed ever nearer and he fought the urge to shut his eyes as their death rushed toward them on the beams of its headlights. Without warning, he felt the sudden jerk of a gear shift, and he was thrown forward against his seat belt, Jane hissing a frustrated oath. They were tossed hard to the side and Jane spun the wheel, detaching themselves from Vasir’s car and dodging out of the way just in time.
Garrus turned to look out the window just in time to see Vasir’s car hit the oncoming car hard, nearly head-on. The resulting fire seemed to engulf half of her car as she spun out, shattered glass falling to the distant ground as she began losing altitude.
“That was a… a really good maneuver.” Garrus stated breathlessly as Jane trailed after the falling Spectre’s car.
“I told you I passed my combat driving course.” Jane replied distractedly as her eyes narrowed, her gaze following the other car as it failed to cease spinning, losing air at a faster and faster rate. “She’s not going to make it…” She trailed off, her voice seeming almost sad.
Vasir must have been still alive, for after a moment or two of continued spinning, the car seemed to right itself, and instead of crashing into the side of a building, it pulled up and landed hard on a balcony. Jane sighed as she followed after the flaming car.
“Of course she did.” She spat, her voice weary with resignation. They began slowing as they neared the terraced balconies, and Garrus looked down to see a wounded Vasir pulling herself from the wreck, glaring up at them.
“I see her down there, we need to park and get that data before she gets away.” He pointed out, but instead of turning them around and landing, the car continued on around the building. “What’s wrong?”
“Something’s up with the brakes, I must have damaged them. I’m having trouble landing. Hold on.” Jane grunted as she fought with the controls, finally bringing them in for a hard landing, causing them to skid along the balcony until they came to a stop. “Well, I guess that’s one way to do it.”
“Yeah, the painful way.” Liara groaned as the door popped open and the three of them pulled themselves out of the skycar. Garrus felt the sensation of cool rain beginning to drip across his plates, one trickling down the back of his neck making him shiver.
“We arrived alive. Good enough.” Jane stated as her feet hit the ground and she pulled out her pistol while checking her omni-tool. “Multiple contacts incoming. Looks like Vasir’s got backup to slow us down.”
Before she’d even closed her mouth, a skycar landed nearby and mercs began pouring out, prompting them to dive into cover. Garrus ducked out to shoot a concussive round toward a group of them as they leapt out of the skycar, returning to safety as another group returned fire.
“We’ve got to hurry if we’re going to track down Vasir. She’s injured, but I can’t afford to lose that data.” Liara called out from where she hid before twisting about to throw a singularity in the direction of another skycar landing nearby.
“Cover me!” Jane yelled just before she turned and darted in the direction of the door into the building. Garrus stood to lay down a cover fire and as soon as Jane signaled, he darted out to follow her, Liara hot on his heels.
They made their way through the building, fighting off occasional mercs as they landed on nearby balconies, all the while making in the direction they’d seen Vasir’s car crash. Rain began trickling down the windows, rivulets streaming down their armor as they passed across balconies.
The building appeared to be some sort of club, at least that was his first guess. They burst through rooms with shocked patrons in fancy dresses and suits, low tables set with an array of foods. But Garrus felt his mandibles flutter in surprise as they ran past a group of scantily clad dancers cowering in fear.
“Interesting place.” He muttered, and Liara scoffed as she rolled her eyes.
“You don’t know the half of it.”
By the time they found the crashed skycar, Vasir was long gone. Jane glanced around the balconies within view of them, cursing under her breath while Liara pulled out her omni-tool frantically. Garrus examined the car, looking for any evidence of where she could have gone. Glancing down he spotted something on the damp ground.
“Guys, over here.” He beaconed to them as he pointed down, “She must have been injured badly in the accident. She’s bleeding, we might be able to follow the trail.” He gestured to a bloody footstep, clearly that of an asari or human. Quickly they hurried after the trail of bloody drips quickly dispersing in the pooling rainwater. Garrus couldn’t help but notice as the trail seemed to waver and wobble from side to side across the balcony and into a nearby hallway. She had to be significantly injured, they had to be able to catch her.
“She’s lost a lot of blood. We have to be getting close.” Liara muttered, and Garrus noted that the amount of blood did seem to be increasing. With wounds like that, it was a miracle she was still moving at all.
“Vasir!” Jane barked as they turned a corner and saw the asari Spectre before them. She had her omni-tool out and was applying medi-gel to her wounds as she hobbled down the hall, her other hand clutching her side in pain. She froze, turning to them with a furious snarl on her face before continuing to limp faster. She rounded a corner just as they sped up.
Jane took the lead, rounding the corner before taking off at a sprint, her side arm ready. Liara was not far behind her, trailing angry, biotic blue energy. Garrus took up the rear, following after them out onto a large open balcony. He came to a slow as he took in their surroundings.
There seemed to be some sort of party going on, the sounds of clinking glasses, soft music, and low voices hanging in the air. Vasir had vanished, and there was no sign of her as the murmuring crowd started to notice their presence. Jane and Liara began searching the area, weapons drawn, prompting the murmurs to gain an edge of anxiety.
“Stop right there.” Garrus heard a voice hiss in his ear just as a hand engulfed in biotic energy appeared before him. Before he could react, Vasir’s hand clamped down hard on his throat, her biotics sizzling across the soft, vulnerable skin there.
Air froze in his chest, his blood running cold as he felt the barrel of a gun press hard against the side of his head. Someone in the crowd of party goers screamed as they pointed at them with wide horrified eyes, causing Jane and Liara to whip around.
“Garrus!”
“Down on your knees, ‘ Big Guy’ .” Vasir spat mockingly, applying pressure and forcing him down. “Now drop the weapon, hands where I can see them.” He hesitated, but felt his eyes widen as the biotics flared brighter around her hand gripping his throat, “Now.” Struggling to swallow, he lowered his assault rifle to the ground in front of him before raising his hands.
“Don’t you fucking touch him, you-” Jane snarled as her pistol trained on Vasir, her eyes seething with a cold hatred as her fast twisted in rage.
“Oh, Shepard. Really, I expected better of you. Showing your weakness so openly, so brazenly? How could you not expect me to exploit it when you dangle it out there in the open for everyone to see?” Vasir crooned tauntingly as her hand inched upwards to grip his jaw, forcing his head back. The biotic energy caused his newly healed mandible to prickle with burning pain. “I told you. I saw everything that happened in that parking lot. You want your lover to live, don’t you?”
Jane’s eyes narrowed, but her weapon remained pointed at the asari. Garrus could see the slight tremor in her arm that had dogged her ever since her encounter with the Ardat-Yakshi.
“Vasir, you don’t need to do this.” Jane’s voice was suddenly even, controlled, and measured, and Vasir scoffed.
“All you had to do was wipe the data I asked you to find when you first joined Cerberus, Shepard. But you twiddled your thumbs for months, accomplishing nothing except finding your do-gooder brother. And so now it has to get ugly. Thermal clips on the ground. Power cells, too, unless you want me to hurt your cute, little pet turian.”
Silence fell as no one moved, even the party goers having gone quiet as they watched. The rain began picking up, strands of Jane’s hair sticking together as it seemed to darken. A slow, taunting smile stretched across her face, her eyes remaining as hard and cool as steel. They glinted as a crack of lightning lit up the sky.
“Is that it?” Jane asked, her voice amused and nonchalant. Garrus could feel Vasir stiffen in surprise.
“What?”
“Vasir, I became a gang hitman at the age of 16.” Jane stated bluntly, “I led my entire team to their deaths rooting the batarians out of Torfan. You watched me work for months when I became a Spectre.” She let the words sit for a moment, giving Vasir time to digest them. “So,” She continued, her voice lowering as her smile melted off her face, “For your sake, I hope your escape plan doesn’t hinge on me hesitating to shoot him.”
Uneasiness began prickling under Garrus’ plates as Jane’s gaze remained steadfastly focused on Vasir, not flickering for even a moment. He couldn’t tell if she was serious or not, but he wanted to trust her.
Vasir seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then suddenly the press of the gun barrel was removed from the side of his head. The pistol whipped around to point directly at Jane, and Garrus jerked before feeling her hand tighten painfully at his throat, the biotics beginning to burn his skin despite the rain splashing down in heavy drops. If either of them had to have a weapon pointing at them, he’d rather it be him.
“Jane, just take the shot!” He managed to bark out hoarsely, wincing as Vasir wrenched his head hard.
“You’re bluffing.” Vasir said confidently to Jane, her attention never wavering.
Garrus looked up at Jane, and their eyes finally locked. Rain was trickling down her face now, her hair and armor soaked as it dripped off her. He saw her finger tighten on the trigger, her hand still trembling slightly. He swallowed, but then she took a deep breath, then another, and finally her hand seemed to steady, the tremor gone.
After a moment, Garrus smiled, closing his eyes as he thought back to the first day he’d met her. Jane had stood in Dr. Michele’s office, her hair fanning out around her face at her sudden entrance, her pistol drawn as she took an impossibly precise and dangerous shot.
If Garrus had to place his life in someone’s hands, he was glad it was Jane’s.
“Now, Liara!” Jane yelled, causing his eyes to snap open just as something huge and solid collided with them, sending them both flying. Garrus hit the ground, rolling as he struggled to orient himself. Pain exploded in his knee and leg as he crashed into something, and he heard a loud splash from nearby.
Garrus looked up to see Liara sprinting toward him and Jane disappearing with a flicker as her tactical cloak activated. Liara grabbed him and helped him into cover, shoving him back against a low divider as she pulled her omni-tool out.
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry I threw a table at you, I wish there had been a safer way.” She whispered in a hurry as she began applying medi-gel to the burns on his neck and jaw. Somewhere, he heard cursing and the pounding of armored boots through rain puddles.
“I’m okay.” Garrus grit out, wincing as he felt his knee, a sharp pain shooting up his leg. Shots rang out, and Garrus did his best to twist around.
Jane was reappearing as she fired at Vasir, forcing her to use her biotic charge to flee across the balcony. Garrus spun to sit back down, wiping the rain out of his eyes as the screams of nearby spectators echoed in his ears. The party goers were huddling, their hands over their heads as Vasir and Jane exchanged fire, but none of them seemed to be moving for some reason.
“We need to evacuate them or else they’re going to get caught in the crossfire.” He muttered as he pulled out his sniper rifle, “Go get them out of here, I’ll cover Jane.”
“Will you be okay?”
“Yeah, leave me here, I’ll be fine.” With that, Liara nodded and turned to run low toward the people huddling, terrified and small in their fancy outfits. He could hear her barking directions at them, but he was already twisting as he brought his rifle up.
Jane rolled out of the way as Vasir sent a biotic shockwave hurtling toward her. The blasts sent chunks of debris flying, but Garrus managed to line up a shot. Firing, he swore as her barrier flared, deflecting the shot with ease before it could penetrate.
Jane disappeared again and Vasir brought up her pistol, firing off shots in a blind attempt to hit her. Jane reappeared a moment later just before her, spinning as her foot came up to catch the other Spectre in the chin. Vasir recoiled, her barrier absorbing only some of the hit, before her fist came up, enveloped in luminous biotic energy.
Jane managed to raise a hand to deflect the blow before dancing out of the way, bringing her pistol up to fire a series of shots, all blocked by the powerful biotic barrier. Energy sprung up around Vasir as she lowered her stance, and Jane only managed to dodge out of the way at the last second. The force of the charge sent her flying back, water splashing as she rolled through puddles before pulling herself back up to her feet just in time to throw herself out of the way of another shockwave.
Garrus fired off another series of shots, causing Vasir’s barrier to spark and roil as it deflected them once again. He winced as the recoil reverberated through his body, causing his knee to scream in pain. Jane got back onto her feet just as she disappeared, and Vasir brought her pistol up as she glanced around.
“What’s wrong, Shepard?” Vasir called out, laughter in her voice, “You don’t seem like your usual self. I really am disappointed.”
Jane reappeared behind her an instant later, her leg sweeping out to catch Vasir’s ankles, causing the asari to stumble to her knees. Jane’s omni-tool sprang to life as she raised her fist, bringing it crashing down upon Vasir as it glowed bright red. She fired off a point blank range incineration that hissed and popped in the rain, bringing it smashing down upon Vasir’s barrier, causing the blue biotic energy to crackle.
Vasir’s foot came up to catch Jane in the stomach hard, causing her to gasp and stumble back, bringing up a hand to grab her middle. Garrus used the opening to fire off a concussive shot, catching Vasir hard in the shoulder and sending her hard onto her side, sliding across the wet ground. He groaned, gripping his knee before looking up and wiping the rain out of his eyes to see Jane rolling behind cover just as Vasir aimed another shockwave in her direction.
He could see Jane bracing herself behind a low wall as she grimaced, bringing a hand up to her head in evident pain. She was pushing herself, he realized. She wasn’t fully healed after everything that happened with Morinth, no matter what she’d told John.
“You can’t hide forever!” Vasir taunted as she got to her feet, but Garrus could see her barrier was weakening. Jane’s omni-tool activated and she vanished, reappearing seconds later as she stood and fired off a series of shots at Vasir. Her barrier caught them as she lunged forward into another biotic charge.
Jane brought up her arms to block, but Vasir collided with her hard enough to send her flying back with a sickening crack as her armored back hit the ground. Water sprayed as she rolled across the balcony. She finally managed to right herself, and Garrus realized with relief that her shields must have absorbed some of the hit. Getting to her feet shakily, Jane sprinted forward right toward Vasir, lifting her fist to throw a punch.
Vasir brought her arm up to block, but when Jane’s hand shot forward, something left her fist and hurtled toward the confused looking asari before sticking to her breastplate. A moment later, Jane dropped to the floor, her momentum and the wet floor sending her sliding through Vasir’s legs before she quickly rolled into cover nearby.
Garrus recognized one of Kasumi’s flashbang grenades an instant before it exploded in Vasir’s face, causing her to scream as she was thrown backwards. As she hit the ground, he could see her barrier flicker and die, and he felt a moment of triumph. Raising up his rifle, he took aim and fired a shot, cursing as it ricocheted off her shields.
“Shit, of course she also has shielding…” He muttered angrily as he loaded up an overload, but a moment later she had scrambled to her feet and in a burst of blue she had charged across the balcony again.
“Not so confident now, are you Vasir?” Jane called out, her pistol drawn as she stood tall, breathing heavily. Vasir stood across the balcony, her weapon drawn on Jane as she struggled to catch her own breath.
With a snarl, Vasir crouched low as biotic energy sprung up around her again. She launched forward in a charge again, throwing herself toward Jane who stood her ground, unflinching. At the last moment, Jane rolled out of the way as she brought her omni-tool up, shooting an incineration at Vasir. It caught her in the back as she was regaining her footing, causing her to scream in pain as it burned through a portion of her shielding.
“It’s time to finish this!” Vasir snapped as energy surrounded her again, and Jane’s eyes widened as Vasir shot right at her again like a bullet. Unprepared, Jane brought up her arms in defense as she attempted to dodge out of the way, but Vasir’s arms latched onto her, sending the two of them flying across the balcony and landing with a splash in a large depression in the floor where a puddle had started to form.
Garrus looked through his scope as they grappled with each other, the water splashing around them. Vasir sat upon Jane’s chest, one hand holding the human woman down as she struggled to dislodge the asari above her. Vasir’s other fist came up, engulfed in biotic energy, preparing to bring it smashing down upon Jane, and Garrus’ memory was instantly transported back to the events in Morinth’s Omega apartment. Samara’s final biotic attack, the blood splattered across the floor.
Loading up a concussive shot, Garrus fired it and caught Vasir hard in the shoulder. Her shields absorbed some of the shock, but still sent the two women rolling as Vasir retained her grip on Jane. As she struggled to climb back upon Jane, she missed it as one of Jane’s hands slipped down toward her own belt.
Pulling up his omni-tool, Garrus hurried to load up an overload. Jane’s knife flashed just as he fried the remainder of Vasir’s kinetic shield, lodging in the space between her chest plate and her shoulder guard. Vasir’s scream echoed across the balcony as she brought a hand up to brush the knife, the ear wrenching sound dampened only by the deafening rain pounding upon the ground. It ended abruptly as Jane’s fist collided with Vasir’s jaw, her head whipping backwards.
Dislodging the other Spectre, Jane got to her feet as she gripped her middle in pain, her other hand reaching for her pistol. Vasir wobbled as she got to her own feet, violet blood dripping down her arm to mix with the rain pooling at her feet. Both were breathing raggedly as they stared each other down, hate and cold anger radiating off both their faces.
Biotic energy sprang up around Vasir as she prepared to charge again, but vanished in an instant as Jane fired, the shot catching Vasir hard in her other shoulder. She hit the ground again with another scream of pain, blood spraying across the ground. She didn’t move.
Lowering her pistol, Jane seemed to droop, her knees wobbling as she turned to look at Garrus with exhaustion written across her face. Garrus holstered his rifle, struggling to his feet as his knee screamed in protest. He ignored the pain as he took a few uncertain steps toward Jane, pausing to double check that Vasir had remained where she’d fallen. Blood was pooling around her as her wounds oozed, the ground under her turning violet as it mixed with the rain water around her.
Garrus looked back at Jane to see her lurching toward him, her eyes wide. In an instant, she crashed into him with enough force to nearly topple them both over as her arms wrapped around him.
“Garrus, I’m-” Jane panted harshly, her entire body trembling with exhaustion, “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? I never would have shot you, you know that, right?”
“I know. It’s okay, I’m fine. And it’ll take more than a table to take me out.” They both chuckled at that and he brought his forehead down to brush against hers softly, her skin wet and slick against his brow plates. “Spirits, Jane. That was amazing, you were amazing.”
“Couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Of course you could have. Not as stylishly, of course. Are you okay?”
“If my ribs weren’t broken before, they probably are now.” She grinned, but it became a grimace as she winced, pulling away slightly as her hand came back up to her middle gingerly. Her eyes strayed over to the fallen asari, her eyes sobering.
“Is she…?” Garrus trailed off, allowing himself to focus on his visor’s life sign readings.
“Still alive. For now.” Jane replied coldly as she stepped away from him, turning to face Vasir as she fingered her pistol, now holstered at her side again. Slowly, Jane approached, pausing as Vasir gasped and coughed, her head rolling as she convulsed in pain. Garrus suspected it looked worse than it was, the vivid, bloodied rain spreading out in a large halo around her body. But if left untended, it clearly would be fetal.
Stepping up to her, Jane rested one booted foot on Vasir’s chest, causing the other woman to groan. She looked down at the asari, droplets of rain running off her face and hair to land on the blue face below her. Sneering in disdain, Jane leaned down and grasped her knife, wrenching it free without a care, causing Vasir to cry out again.
“Quit the melodramatics.” Jane snapped as she holstered her knife on her belt before leaning down to sift through the contents of Vasir’s belt pouch. Pulling out the data disk, she peered down it. “This must be what Liara needed in order to find the Shadow Broker.” She muttered before turning and tossing it to Garrus. He grabbed it out of the air, holding it firm in his fist. The rain seemed to be starting to let up, coming down as a light drizzle rather than the thundering down pour of minutes before.
Turning back to Vasir, Jane whipped out her pistol and leveled it at her. Vasir turned her head to face up at Jane, raw fury and anger twisting it into an ugly mask.
“You’re as good as dead.” Vasir gasped and winced as she shifted, blood oozing out of both the wounds, “The Shadow Broker has been in power for decades. He’s stronger than anything you’ve ever faced.” She hiss hoarsely, her pain evident in her voice.
“Is that why you sold out the Council to work for him?” Jane asked accusingly as she glared back down at her.
“You think I betrayed the Council?” Vasir demanded, her voice rising in outrage, “Like Saren? Go to hell.” She spat, her voice full of disgust. “The Broker’s given me damn good intel over the years. Intel that saved lives and kept the Citadel safe!” She winced again as she tried and failed to move her arm, “So if the Broker needs a few people to disappear, I’ll pay that price without hesitation!”
“Spectres don’t blow up buildings filled with innocent people!” Jane snapped as the finger on her trigger tightened.
“Sure we do...” Vasir’s eyes seemed to roll a little as she struggled for consciousness, “We get our hands dirty… So the Council doesn’t have to.” Jane didn’t respond, and so she continued after a moment, “The councilors might complain about our methods to soothe their consciousness, but they never look too closely.”
“That doesn’t excuse what you did here today.”
“Don’t you judge me!” Vasir coughed and groaned, “You hide behind your brother’s coat tails, wasting your own potential and letting him make all the decisions.” Vasir sneered up at Jane, who’s eyes had opened wide in surprise at the sudden jab, “You have the ability to do so much to help the people of this galaxy, and yet you’re playing the content lap dog for a bunch of human terrorists, pretending to be the Council’s ‘eyes and ears’. You make me sick . Look in a fucking mirror before you judge me.”
Jane stood in stock still shock as she stared down at the panting asari under her boot. The tirade had clearly taken a toll as Vasir struggled to keep her self conscious.
“I do what I must for the greater good of the galaxy, Shepard. If I need to sacrifice a few lives here so that I can save a few thousand elsewhere, then so be it.”
Ruthless calculus , Garrus thought with grim realization. In the coming years, or whenever the Reapers arrived, how often would they need to make similar decisions? For the ‘ greater good ’?
Jane considered Vasir for a moment before lowering her weapon. Removing her boot from her chest, she kneeled down and pulled out her omni-tool to begin applying medi-gel.
“Don’t make me regret sparing you, Vasir.” Jane muttered as the asari’s eyes finally began to droop. “I don’t like your methods, but I can’t fault your logic. I’ll leave it up to the Council to decide what to do with you.” Garrus limped over to give her a hand with stabilizing Vasir, who had finally lost her battle with unconsciousness.
“I think she’ll probably make it, but we should get her to a doctor. She lost a lot of blood.” Garrus said as he checked her vitals on his visor. Jane took a moment and removed Vasir’s omni-tool, tucking it away.
“I bet she has some interesting files. I’m going to have her shipped off back to the Citadel along with my report about what happened here. They’re probably going to let her off with a slap on the wrist, but hopefully by then, we’ll have taken care of the real problem. Speaking of which…” Jane stood up and glanced around the balcony. Garrus stood as well, wiping the rain out of his eyes. “Where’s Liara?”
“Over here, Jane.” Liara’s voice echoed across the balcony, and the both turned to see Liara stepping out of a nearby room. “I see I missed all the fun. Did you get the data from her?” Garrus held up the data disk, causing Liara’s eyes to harden as she picked up her pace. She snatched the disk away before quickly loading the data into her omni-tool.
“Where did you go?” Jane asked tiredly as she stretched her notoriously bad shoulder.
“I got all the bystanders out of the line of fire and tried to keep the Shadow Broker’s forces from interrupting.” She stated distractedly as she began sorting through the data. Garrus and Jane shared an astonished look while Liara continued, “The local police force are attempting to round them up at the moment, I had to call in a couple of favors.”
“Good,” Jane sighed as she looked down at Vasir again, “She’s going to need medical treatment and then I need to have her transferred to the Citadel under guard. Then she can be the Council’s problem, not mine.” Liara paused just long enough to scowl down at Vasir before looking back at her omni-tool.
“I need to get moving as soon as I can. I think I know of a ship docked in Nos Astra with stealth capabilities that should be able to get me to the Shadow Broker’s system quickly. Nothing in comparison to the Normandy, of course, but it will have to do.”
“Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Pretty sure I have the authority to commandeer a ship in the case of an emergency.” Jane shrugged, looking back at Garrus with a small smile.
“Wait, what?” Liara froze, turning back to face them. “Commandeer…?”
“I’ll explain after we get moving. You didn’t think we were going to let you have all the fun with the Shadow Broker after this, did you?” Jane asked as she looked back to Liara, who stared at her in confusion.
“But don’t you have commitments to your brother and his mission against the Collectors?” Liara asked, and Jane turned to look at Garrus. It was his turn to shrug.
“We should probably check in with Shepard before we agree to help with anything.” He relented, and Jane crossed her arms as she frowned in consideration. Suddenly, Garrus wondered how much consideration Jane was giving what Vasir had said to her just minutes earlier.
“I’ll let John know we’re taking a small holiday, there’s no need to bother him with this.” Garrus opened his mouth to argue, but Liara spoke up over him.
“The Shadow Broker might even now know about what’s happened here. If he decides to kill Feron…”
“We’ll get Feron out of there alive, Liara. I promise.” Jane interjected, taking a step closer as Liara began pacing.
“I know. But we need to move now . The Shadow Broker’s agents are still shooting their way through Illium. With luck, they won’t notice we’ve left until it’s too late.”
“Then let’s get moving. I’ll send John a message, let him know what we’re up to. They can join us as soon as they’re done with their mission here. Sound good, Garrus?” Jane asked, turning back to him with a smile, and he nodded.
“Sure. What about her?” He asked, gesturing to where Vasir still lay.
“I’ll have one of my contacts in the Nos Astra Police Department come pick her up. They can do whatever you want with her.” Liara stated as she closed her omni-tool, looking up at them.
“Perfect, then let’s get moving.”
Notes:
Thus concludes the longest chapter to date! I hope you all have been enjoying the story so far, and thank you to all of you who have been taking the time let me know what you think! We've also reached a milestone level of subscribers, and I wanted to say THANK YOU to all of my lovely readers, new and old! I'm so happy to have you all along for the ride with me.
Finally, I'd like to give credit to my wonderful beta reader, thelordofdarkreunion for help with some of the jokes during the chase scene. Wouldn't have been nearly so funny without some of his suggestions! Thank you!!!!
Chapter 45: Part 2: Chapter 20
Summary:
In which Garrus gives surprisingly insightful advice, given the topic.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 20
Hagalaz
“Jane? Where the hell are you? Are you guys alright?”
“I thought I sent you our coordinates, John. We’re on Hagalaz in the Sowilo System of the Hourglass Nebula.”
“ Yeah, I got your message, but it was nothing but some coordinates and instructions to get there ASAP. What the hell is going on? And why did you just up and leave Illium without telling me?”
“Ah. Well, we sort of got wrapped up in this whole big thing… You know what, I’ll catch you up when you get here. It’s a long story.”
“It’d better be a good one. ”
“I mean, I think it is. Ran into an old friend, went for a drive, got a bit of a work out, supplanted the Shadow Broker… You know, the usual.”
“Wait, hold up. What?”
“Seriously, I’ll tell you all about it when you get here. How far away are you?”
“Probably about a day still. ”
“Okay, good. I’ll send you some particulars about docking here. It’s an, uh, unusual situation. See you soon!”
“Hold on, Jane, you can’t just-”
“Bye, John!”
“Godda-”
Garrus lounged on the couch in his small room aboard the Shadow Brok- No, aboard Liara’s new hideout. Though, he supposed they were one in the same now. He was still in shock over the turn of events that transpired over the last week. Immediately following Vasir being taken into custody, Jane had directed that she be shipped off to the Citadel after receiving adequate medical assistance. She’d then commandeered the ship Liara had had her eye on, and before they knew it, they’d been speeding through space toward the Shadow Broker’s mysterious hidden base of operations.
It had been a tense but mercifully short trip to the planet Hagalaz, followed by many terrifying moments as they’d fought across the exterior of the giant ship hanging in the clouds. But once they broke into it, nothing could have prepared them for standing before the massive Shadow Broker, a Yahg of all things. The monstrous creature’s size had dwarfed them, his terrifying features seeming out of place dressed in a well tailored suit.
The most memorable part of all for him had been the moment Jane had gone toe to toe with the beast, punching it hard enough in the face to send it stumbling backwards as it roared in pain. She’d been knocked around quite a bit in the resulting aftermath, but in the end they’d somehow managed to defeat it.
Miraculously, Liara had been able to step right in and take control of the Shadow Broker’s network almost seamlessly. She’d been working tirelessly ever since to sift through and make sense of all the data she had inherited. In addition, she was figuring out how to juggle and sort all of the new data pouring in from her contacts and agents.
Garrus and Jane had offered to assist her, but she seemed content to puzzle through it herself with the occasional helping hand from her friend Feron whom they’d recently rescued, leaving the two of them with something that almost resembled a holiday until their ride arrived. Jane had contacted Shepard and confirmed that the Normandy was on its way, but they still had a little time to themselves yet.
Currently, he was flicking through a datapad Liara had recently passed off to him. To Garrus’ surprise, it contained data about himself. A disconcertingly large amount of it, including information about his family. He tried not to be spooked about it, according to Liara it seemed as though the Shadow Broker had similar data on just about everyone.
It did serve the purpose of reminding him that he needed to catch up with Solana sometime soon, it’d been weeks since he’d checked in with her. But the last thing he wanted to think about at the moment was everything that was happening with their mom, and that seemed to be all she talked about lately. He felt a stab of guilt and shut down the data pad, looking out the window.
The door opened and he looked up to see Jane in the doorway. When they’d left Illium in a rush, they hadn’t had time to stop by the Normandy and pick up any personal effects, and so they hadn’t had any casual clothing to change into once things had calmed down. After dealing with the Shadow Broker and the remnants of his small, personal army, they’d managed to root around until they were able to produce some clothing that would fit them. No one wanted to sleep in bulky armor, and their undersuits weren’t honestly that much better.
“Hey, you.”Jane yawned and stretched as stepped into the room, and Garrus noted the baggy tee shirt she wore with interest. It was obviously designed for someone much larger than her, but it had the interesting effect of suggesting and hinting at the form underneath in a way that was almost as appealing as some of her more form fitting outfits he was used to seeing her in. The neck of the shirt dipped down low enough to display the delicate swoop of one of her collar bones. Just below, he could see a hint of the swell of her breasts under the thin fabric, the inward sweep of her waist. It left some of the work up to his imagination, almost like a present he was excited to unwrap.
He didn’t even register the growing rumbling of appreciation in his chest until she came to stand before him, a raised brow and a knowing smirk gracing her lips.
“Keep looking at me like that and I might start thinking you’re happy to see me.” She murmured smugly and he couldn’t help the flick of his mandibles as he grinned back up at her. Garrus reached forward and grabbed the front of her shirt, pulling her closer until she stood just before where he sat on the couch. She looked down at him as his fingers slowly began to trail up her bare legs. He watched with satisfaction as the odd little bumps she called ‘goosebumps’ erupted across her soft, creamy skin and he hummed happily as his fingers reached up to play with the hem of her shorts, barely visible under the loose shirt.
Garrus’ hands wrapped around her, skimming up over her clothes and coming to a rest on her bottom as he pulled her close. He could hear her chuckle as he pressed his face into her midriff, taking a deep breath and savoring the smell of her. She’d just come from the shower and he could smell a strong, floral smell from the soap she’d used, but underneath that was the indescribable smell that was all her own.
Jane’s hands ran up his arms, across his shoulders, and came up to brush against his mandibles before venturing further up to play with his crest. His humming became more of a purr as he nuzzled against her, enjoying the feeling of her fingers finding his more sensitive areas. His fingers trailed down the back of her legs and she shivered as he pressed ever so slightly with his talons. Without warning, he pulled her forward and her breath caught as she landed on his lap. He brushed his forehead across hers before pressing closer for a kiss, his subvocals reverberating through his chest in pleasure as her lips and tongue moved with his.
In the weeks following everything that happened with Morinth, Jane had been understandably distant. Not just with him, but with everyone. As she’d recovered, she’d begun seeming more like herself, but even then she’d often been reluctant when it came to physical touch. She still refused to discuss what it was that she’d experienced at the Ardat-Yakshi’s hands, and though Garrus tried not to fear the worst, his heart ached for her.
It had been such a relief as she’d begun seeking out intimacy with him more often, not simply because he’d missed it, but because it signified that she was finally beginning to move past what had happened. The last few days in particular, Jane had been starting to resemble her old self in a way that made his heart sing. Her smile had its old roguish glint that made the bottom of his stomach drop as his heart twisted pleasantly in his chest, and the events with Vasir and the Shadow Broker seemed to have given her back some of her old confidence.
In all honesty, he was in awe of her resilience. She was still struggling with issues related to the neurological damage she’d received, but even after everything that had happened, she was slowly putting herself back together, stronger and more capable than ever. It made him love her all the more.
Garrus brought a hand up to run his fingers through her hair before gripping a handful and tugging to expose the pale column of her neck. “Here I was just coming to ask if you wanted to go get some dinner.” Jane muttered huskily, her words interlaced with soft gasps as his mouth worked its way down her neck to her shoulder.
“I was thinking we could skip right to dessert, if it’s all the same to you.” Garrus let one of his hands dip underneath her loose shirt, something in his belly tightening as his fingers ran across the expanse of her silky smooth skin. He could feel the strength hiding just under the surface, her muscles and sinews coiled beneath his fingers. She was so delicate and exposed, yet so dangerous and deadly. The combination made his blood rush, boiling just beneath his plates.
“I wouldn’t say no.” Jane whispered into his ear as she trailed a finger lightly down his throat, leaving fire in her wake. In an instant, Garrus gripped her and stood, her legs wrapping around his waist as he lurched toward the small bed. They fell onto it and Garrus gazed down at Jane as he held himself above her. Her hair was splayed out around her, dark in the dim light of the room. His eyes roamed her face, taking in every little detail he could, from the gentle slope of her nose to the soft curve of her cheek bones to the small scar across her eyebrow. Humans all had huge, expressive eyes, and her dark green ones stared up at him, beaconing him to drown in them.
Spirits, he loved her.
Jane reached up and grabbed his cowl, tugging him down closer to her as she smiled slyly up at him, her eyes narrowing, “If you don’t kiss me right now, Vakarian, I might get violent.”
“Promises, promises.” Garrus whispered as he leaned in just close enough to be not quite close enough for her, grinning at her obvious impatience. Instead, he braced himself with one arm, letting the other travel down her body, brushing over the sharp jut of her hip bone before letting his fingers play with the waistband of her shorts. As he continued to tease her with fingers that hinted at promises they may or may not keep, he brought his tongue down to taste the salty tang of her throat, savoring her frustrated groan and quickening pulse.
“Is this- ah!” Jane gasped as he nipped her gently, causing her eyes to flutter shut as she smiled playfully, “Is this you savoring the, uh-” His fingers brushed against a particularly sensitive area, causing her to shiver, “-the shot before popping the heat sink?” She finally finished, grinning up at him. Garrus groaned, pulling away slightly as he rolled his eyes.
“I’m never living that one down, am I.” He stated, causing her to laugh. A moment later, the world seemed to lurch to the side, and suddenly he found himself landing hard on the bed with Jane rolling them until she was perched upon his hips. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his mouth plates, her tongue begging for entry.
Garrus brought his hands up to grip her hips as he opened his mouth to her, but a moment later her hands wrapped around his wrists, shoving them up over his head as she held them fast. His eyes snapped open, going wide as he felt his heart hammer with unexpected excitement.
“Oh no, Big Guy. I warned you,” She laughed, her cheshire smile lighting up her face with a predatory gleam that caused his belly to twist pleasantly with anticipation, “I don’t make empty threats.”
Not for the first time, Garrus appreciated the blessing of privacy in the small wing of guest rooms their rooms resided in. It was, quite frankly, in everyone’s best interest.
Garrus woke hours later in a tangle of bare limbs, shivering as he noticed they’d managed to kick the blanket off the small bed. It was definitely slightly too small for the both of them, but despite that, they’d managed to sleep comfortably enough the past few nights. They didn’t have a comfortable or private option aboard the Normandy, so neither of them had been willing to pass up the opportunity to share a bed. Even if they didn't care at least a little about propriety, the beds in the Normandy’s crew quarters were barely big enough to hold him, let alone the two of them.
Sitting up, Garrus grabbed the edge of the blanket and tugged it up over the both of them. Glancing down, he felt his gaze soften as he took a moment to memorize the sight of Jane sleeping beside him. Her face seemed so peaceful and relaxed, and for a moment he could pretend they were living a normal life together. Not preparing for a suicide mission, not on the cusp of galactic war.
He brought a finger up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her round ear. Jane shifted as she took a deep breath in, her eyes fluttering slightly. After a moment, they opened slowly and she smiled as she noticed him watching her.
“Good morning.” She yawned, stretching before rolling into his warmth with a slight shiver. Garrus wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close with a contented hum of his subvocals.
“I’m not sure if you’d call it morning or not. It’s a little hard to tell.” He glanced out the window at the roiling thunder clouds. He looked back down at her with a small smile, “I was just enjoying the view.” She looked back up at him, and after a moment she smiled as one of her arms snaked around his waist. She shut her eyes again, snuggling closer.
Garrus wished he could hit pause and just live in this moment forever. Outside, the world kept on ticking closer and closer to war and destruction. The Collectors kept kidnapping colonists and the Reapers drew ever nearer, but here it was just him and Jane, enjoying a small slice of happiness together. As soon as the Normandy arrived, they were going to go back to the grind, weapons blazing, their lives constantly on the line. Everyday, they would be one botched mission away from losing this forever.
Garrus brought his hand up, allowing a single finger to trace along her cheek, and after a moment, she pulled away just far enough to look back at him. As their eyes met, he felt something twist in his chest.
“Jane, I-”
Beep beep.
“Garrus?” Liara’s voice filtered into the room, and he groaned in frustration. He brought his arm up and activated his omni-tool, bringing up the call on voice, not video.
“Yes, Liara?” He yawned before continuing, “Need something?”
“Did I wake you? I’m so sorry. I was trying to get a hold of Jane, but she wasn’t answering my calls.”
“I’m here, Liara.” Jane stated before stifling a yawn of her own, and both she and Garrus began the process of sitting up. "I had my omni-tool silenced."
“Jane? Where- oh. Oh!” Liara’s voice hitched in sudden dawning realization, “I’m so sorry, was I, um, interrupting…?” She trailed off, her discomfort and embarrassment evident.
“No, it’s okay.” Jane chuckled before throwing her legs over the edge of the bed and standing with a stretch. It was impossible not to admire the view. “What can I do for you, Liara?”
“Oh. Well, you wanted me to alert you when we picked the Normandy up on scopes. They should be here in about 30 minutes.”
“Sounds good, thank you Liara. We’ll be up in a few minutes.” The call cut out, and Jane bent down to begin picking up her various articles of clothing scattered about the small room. Garrus remained on the bed, watching with growing amusement as she tried and failed to find her shirt.
“Why don’t you make yourself useful and help me find it instead of laughing?” She shot at him without any real heat, only causing him to chuckle harder.
“You seem to have the matter well in hand. Plus, I’m enjoying the show.” Jane turned to face him, an amused half smile on her lips. She slowly made her way toward him, her hips swaying as she came to a stop just before him, beaconing to him with a crooked finger as her smile widened invitingly. Garrus sat up as she neared, the tingling of anticipation already starting to coil in his belly. She stopped as she reached him and he lifted a hand to pull her back onto the bed.
Before he could process what was happening, he was thrown backwards as the blanket he was tangled in was pulled unceremoniously off of him. When he managed to sit up again, Jane was slinging the blanket over her shoulders, laughing as she made her way to the door.
"Up and at 'em, soldier." She called as she stepped through the door, "Looks like our ride's almost here!"
Garrus stood, still chuckling as he heard the door to her room open just as his closed. He grabbed up his armor and began the process of dawning it with resignation.
“Jane!” Shepard called out as he came striding down the corridor and Jane opened her arms in welcome.
“John! Welcome to the-” Her cheerful words were cut off as Shepard grabbed her in a sudden, tight hug. She nearly stumbled back at the force of it and she raised her hands up to pat him on the back, her eyes wide in surprise. “Whoa there, good to see you, too.”
“I was so worried,” Shepard muttered as he pulled away, holding her at arms length by her shoulders as he looked her up and down with a hard expression, “Are you okay? What happened? What is this place and how did you end up here? Why did you leave Illium without telling me? What does Liara have to do with all this? How did-”
“ Whoa there , slow down. I’ll answer everything I can, but maybe you should come into the main office. Liara should probably be part of this.” With that, Jane reached up to remove his hands from her shoulders before turning and walking toward the end of the corridor. Shepard turned to Garrus and raised an eyebrow at him.
“I don’t know if I should thank you or admonish you. Granted, she’s still alive, but this wasn’t exactly how I thought your little errand excursion was going to turn out.” Shepard stated dryly, and Garrus crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one side as he sighed.
“Yeah, this wasn’t exactly how I thought it was all going to play out, either. One thing led to another and I lost control of the situation pretty early on.” He paused, and after a moment he shrugged. “You know how she can be.” They shared a meaningful look. “Honestly, I owe her my life after everything that happened.”
“Seriously?” Shepard’s eyebrows shot up and he blinked in surprise, “What happened?”
“... And so now I’ve taken over as the new Shadow Broker. I think I’ve managed a fairly smooth transition, you’ll notice that-”
“Okay, hold on, back up.” Shepard cut Liara off, bringing a hand up to his forehead as he tried to process the story he was hearing. “Let me get this straight. You,” He gestured to Jane, who crossed her arms defensively, “Ran off to investigate an attempted murder-”
“ Liara’s attempted murder.” Jane added pointedly, but Shepard ignored her, plowing on.
“-Then you were in a building when it was bombed -”
“I was not the one who bombed it, mind you.”
“-Then you jumped out a window -”
“While holding onto a floating biotic!”
“-Then you participated in a high speed chase through the skies of Illium-”
“I didn’t hit anyone! Well, not too badly, at least.” Jane muttered as she looked away, clenching her jaw.
Shepard turned to Garrus suddenly, “-And you let her drive?” He asked incredulously, and Garrus shrugged guiltily.
“Hey!” Jane shot back at her brother, jabbing an angry finger in his direction, “We caught Vasir and we lived. You never would have been able to keep up with her, Mister ‘ten-and-two-on-the-wheel-at-all-times’.” She brought her hands up in mocking air quotes as she rolled her eyes, but Shepard ignored her as he continued.
“Then, you had an all out, knock down, drag out fight with another Spectre. Your old mentor, apparently-”
“She got what was coming to her.” Jane spat as she waved a hand dismissively.
“-and so then you stole-
“ Commandeered.”
“-Stole a ship and just flew off to sneak into the Shadow Broker’s base, just the three of you-”
“And we kicked his ass, just so you know.”
Shepard brought his hands up to scrub at his face as he exhaled loudly in exasperation. Finally, he let his hands fall to his side, leveling the three of them with considering looks before his eyes finally landed back on Jane.
“Which part of ‘no extreme physical exertion’ did you not understand, Jane? Chakwas is going to kill you." Her eyes narrowed as she stepped toward him, jabbing a finger into her brother’s chest.
“Now hold on, I did a perfectly fine job. I might not have been at my peak, but I did more than just hold my own.” She crossed her arms, her back straightening, “I handled the physical exertion just fine. Look at me, I’m perfectly fine. And,” Jane glanced at Garrus out of the corner of her eye, a smile spreading across her face, “I’ve had plenty of physical exertion while we’ve been staying here the past few days.” Garrus felt heat creeping up his neck, but he forced himself to hold her gaze until she looked back at her brother, “And see? I’m perfectly fine.”
“I’m fine with you working out in the gym or whatever you've been doing,” Shepard sighed, bringing his hands up to rest on her shoulders again, “I’m just worried about you putting your life on the line when you’re not at your best.”
Jane opened her mouth to argue, but Shepard continued, “Jane, you’re my right hand.” She blinked at that, her mouth snapping shut, “I need you at your best when we move against the Collectors. If that means you need to take it easy until you’re completely healed, then that’s okay. As amazing and impressive as this all is - yes , I am impressed,” The corner of his lips quirked up at her look of disbelief, “Don’t give me that look- As amazing as this all is, I care more about your well being.” He went silent before continuing after a moment, his voice quiet, “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you, Jane. After everything that happened with Morinth, I still haven’t forgiven myself, I-”
“John, none of what happened was your fault. I’m okay, I’m recovering. I thought everything that happened here would have proved that to you.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me, you’ve never had to prove anything to me. I just want you to be okay. I want-”
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but-” Liara interrupted as she took a step toward them, a data pad in her hand, “If you need further convincing that this was a worthwhile endeavor, I’ve begun compiling some data here that I think might be worth your time.” Shepard glanced down at the data pad, taking it with hesitant interest.
“I suppose it would be handy having someone with access to information I can trust.” Just then, a small white drone came rushing over toward them, and Shepard visibly flinched as it stopped abruptly right in front of him. “What-?”
“ Welcome back, Shadow Broker! ” It chirped excitedly, and Garrus’ mandibles fluttered in amusement at the surprise on Shepard’s face.
“What’s this?” He asked as he turned back to Liara, who shrugged as she brought a hand up to rub the back of her neck.
“That’s the old Broker’s VI assistant.” She stated, turning back toward her main console, “It’s actually been helpful with rebuilding the network.”
“I think it’s kind of cute. Like a hyperactive puppy.” Jane muttered as she shifted, clearly happy for the distraction from their debate of moments before.
“Yeah, a puppy who can sort and organize zettabytes of data in the blink of an eye.” Garrus chuckled and Jane elbowed him in the side affectionately.
“ Please let me know if I can organize anything else for you, Shadow Broker. ” The energetic VI quipped happily.
“It also thinks anyone in the room is the Shadow Broker.” Liara shrugged, “I’ll play around with the setting later.”
“ My manual is ready whenever you have a moment!” It chirped as Shepard looked back down at the datapad before glancing back at Liara.
“Is it okay if I take this with me? We need to get going.”
“Already?” Jane asked, something possibly like disappointment in her voice, “What’s the rush?” Shepard turned to her, a troubled expression on his face.
“It’s Tali.” At Shepard’s short reply, Jane’s expression instantly hardened, all traces of levity gone.
“What happened? Is she okay?” She asked urgently, and Shepard’s brows knit as he looked at the floor with something between frustration and confusion.
“I’m not sure. We don’t have all the details yet, but the Fleet’s Admiralty Board has accused her of treason for some reason-”
“ What? ” Jane exclaimed as her head jerked back in surprise, her eyes widening.
“We need to go with her and do our best to assist with clearing her name. In addition to that,” Shepard’s expression wilted, sadness creeping in at the edges, “The Collectors hit another colony just days ago.” Jane’s eyes shut as her lips pursed. She took a deep breath in, releasing it slowly.
“Damn it.”
“Yeah. Tali is the last person who seems to have any unfinished business. As soon as we’re done with her, we need to go pick up that Reaper IFF and get moving. Time is ticking, we don’t have time to lose. Every minute we dawdle, more people suffer at the hands of the Collectors.” Shepard seemed to steel himself before turning and striding toward Liara. “Liara, thank you for the data, I’m looking forward to browsing it.”
“Of course, Shepard. I’ll stay in contact and pass along anything else I think might be interesting to you.” She turned just in time to be enveloped in a hug by the taller man.
“Congratulations on your… Acquisition? Promotion?” Shepard took a step back, a fond smile on his face, and Liara smiled back at him as she flushed, nodding. “And thanks for taking care of these two idiots-” He gestured back at Jane and Garrus, and Garrus crossed his arms as he rolled his eyes affectionately. “I am rather fond of them, it was dull on the Normandy without them.”
“Oh!” Liara’s eyes popped as she seemed to have a sudden realization, “Before you go, I have something for you.” She turned and hurried out of the room toward her personal rooms, returning a moment later holding a frame of some sort, holding it out to Shepard. “It took some digging, but I recovered your tags.”
Shepard took a sudden, sharp intake of breath as he took the frame from Liara. Slowly, he held it up before him, his eyes roaming the familiar metal ovals. His expression softened, a small smile appearing on his lips.
“I thought I’d never see these again.” He said, and Jane took a few steps forward until she was standing beside him. She brought her hand up to rest upon his back as she leaned into him, gazing down at the tags as well.
“They changed hands more than once. Do you remember Admiral Hackett?” Liara asked, and Shepard nodded, “He gave them to me so I could return them to you. He sends his best…” She paused before continuing, “And hopes you’re okay.”
“Thank you, Liara. And please send Hackett my thanks as well. I hadn’t thought I had any friends left in the Alliance.” Garrus could hear the slight bitterness in the other man’s voice. Liara stepped forward and placed a hand over his, giving it a friendly squeeze.
“You have lots of people who care and are rooting for your safe return from this mission.” She murmured, and Shepard smiled at her before nodding.
“I know. Thanks, Liara.” He took a deep breath before taking a step back, nodding. “Okay, it’s time to get going. It was good to see you. Take care.”
“You, too, Shepard.” Liara stated as he made for the door. Jane turned to her, and Liara held out her hand to her. “Thank you so much, Jane, for all your help. I don’t know if I could have done this without you guys.” Jane grabbed her hand, surprising her by pulling her into a hug.
“Anytime, Liara. I was happy to help.” Jane stated warmly before pulling away and clasping Liara’s shoulder. “Now, no turning into a recluse with creepy information on everyone in the galaxy, okay?” She grinned at the asari, who smiled back. In just that interaction, Garrus could see how much Liara had grown the past few years. Back on the SR1, a joke like that would have led to Liara spluttering and flailing to reassure everyone that she would never do such a thing. But the Liara before them glanced back at the large set of monitors behind them before raising a single, amused eyebrow.
“I can understand the temptation. I’ve got all the secrets of the galaxy at my fingertips.” She thrust her hands out to gesture around her at all the data scrolling on various consoles, “Give me ten minutes, and I could start a war.”
“As fun as I’m sure that would be, here’s hoping that won’t be necessary.” Jane stated dryly as she crossed her arms.
“I’ve got a purpose: Helping you guys stop the Reapers. That will keep me honest.” The two women stared at each other silently for a moment before Liara continued with a shrug, “You know, relatively speaking.” The three of them laughed at that, and Garrus stepped forward to hold his hand out to Liara.
“Take care, Liara. It was good seeing you. Thanks for everything.”
“You, too, Garrus.” She said warmly as she shook his hand, and they both took a step back.
“Come on. Let’s not keep Shepard waiting.” Garrus muttered, and Jane nodded, the two of them waving one last time to Liara before taking their leave, heading back toward the Normandy.
The quarian Migrant Fleet was not anything like Garrus had imagined, but then again, he hadn’t really had any idea what to expect before they set foot there. People on the Citadel sneered and made jokes at their expense, and Garrus had to admit that he’d joined the hunt for Saren with plenty of those old biases in place. But getting to know Tali and hearing her speak proudly about her people had quickly opened his eyes, dislodging what he now understood to be unfair and unfounded prejudice.
Being an outsider, Garrus had never expected to receive a warm welcome from the Migrant Fleet. Hell, he’d never honestly expected to visit them in the first place. But their reception just before Tali’s trial had been cool, distrustful, and almost hostile in the case of some.
The trial itself had been something resembling a complete farce. Most seemed to have arrived with their minds on the matter already made up, the admirals included. They’d gone as far as to preemptively strip Tali of her ship name, dubbing her ‘Tali’Zorah vas Normandy’ instead. While the weight of the change was somewhat lost on the Normandy’s crew, the blow seemed to hit Tali almost physically.
When the proceedings began, it was clear that it would be an uphill battle, but it was also clear that they’d miscalculated by declaring Tali a member of Shepard’s crew. Shepard was only a few choice words into his defense of Tali as he stood before the quarian conclave when Garrus saw the dawning realization of their mistake upon what little he could see of the face of at least one admiral. Shepard had always had an eloquent way with words when he wanted to, particularly when he felt strongly about the matter.
And he clearly felt strongly when it came to Tali.
Before they knew it, they found themselves fighting geth aboard the Alarei, searching blindly for any sort of evidence of Tali’s innocence. While they had found what they’d come for, they’d also found the body of Tali’s father. It would be awhile before Garrus could get the soft, mournful sobs of the younger woman out of his ears, no matter how touching it had been to see Shepard comforting her.
They left the Alarei with the conundrum that Tali couldn’t be cleared of the charges against her without turning over the data they found, and yet allowing the admirals to see the data would have ruined her father’s name. Which was how Shepard found himself standing before the conclave again, determined to do with heartfelt shouting what he couldn’t do with their proof.
“...Tali’Zorah saved the Citadel!” Shepard proclaimed as he paced across the dais, gesturing out across the room, “She saved the Alarei! She showed the galaxy the value of the quarian people.” He finally finished stalking like a hungry predator, coming to a standstill before the admirals, his shoulders thrown back as he stared them down, his back straight and head held high, “I can’t think of stronger evidence than that.”
The room was silent for a moment before erupting in a chorus of hushed whispers. Tali’s head slowly raised from where she’d previously been studying her feet, her eyes wide as her gaze rested upon the human commander.
“Are the admirals prepared to render judgment?” Shala’Raan, the admiral overseeing the trial, asked, her voice somber, and the other admirals glanced at each other before looking down to their own omni-tools. Garrus felt his fists clench in dread anticipation, completely unsure what to expect. Beside him, the rest of the ground team that had accompanied Shepard and Tali to support at the trial seemed to hold their breaths. Or at least, it felt to Garrus as though they did. It was hard to tell with all the helmets and facemasks.
Finally, the votes were submitted, and Tali stood before the board, awaiting their decision, awaiting her future.
“Tali’Zorah,” Shala’Raan began, her voice heavy and grim, and Garrus felt a moment of dread until she continued, “In light of your history of service, we do not find sufficient evidence to convict.” Garrus felt something in his chest unseize, and he could almost swear he could her the smile in Shala’Raan’s voice as she finished, “You are cleared of all charges.”
“Shit,” Jane chuckled quietly, sighing in relief, “She had me for a moment there.”
“Me, too.” Garrus replied under his breath, and he could feel himself smile. “We should have had more faith, I suppose. Shepard really is a miracle worker.”
“Shepard,” Shala’Raan spoke up again over the murmuring voices of the conclave, “Please accept these gifts in appreciation for you taking the time to represent one of our people.” She activated her omni-tool, and in front of them, Garrus could hear Shepard’s omni-tool beep quietly in response. He pulled it up, glancing down at the display before looking back up at the admirals.
“With all due respect, Admiral,” Shepard stated, only just toeing the line of respect, righteous anger still permeating his voice, “I didn’t represent one of your people.” He turned, glancing at Tali for a moment, his voice softening, “I represented one of mine .”
“So you did, Shepard.” One of the other admirals replied after they exchanged inscrutable glances amongst themselves.
“This hearing is concluded.” Shala’Raan declared to the room before adding in a much more gentle voice, “Go in peace, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. Keelah se’lai.”
The last phrase repeated throughout the room by the rest of the quarians as they began standing to leave, and Shepard turned to Tali questioningly. Tali seemed to be in shock, still processing the admiral’s unexpected decision. She turned to face Shepard, her bright eyes wide. He held a hand out and brushed against her shoulder lightly while gesturing up the stairs toward where the rest of the ground time was waiting.
When they reached the top, Tali turned to face Shepard again, her voice breathy and amazed, “I can’t believe you pulled that off.” She seemed completely unaware of those around her reaching over to pat her back or offer their congratulations. “What you said… I’ve never had someone speak like that on my behalf.”
“Come on, guys, give her space.” Jane muttered as she started gesturing for the team to back off.
“Thank you for being there for my father and me, even when…” Tali trailed off before she shook her head, looking back up at Shepard, “Thank you.” She concluded, her voice subdued and sad.
“We can still go back in and get you exiled, if you want.” Shepard joked lightly, and Tali chuckled, her shoulders seeming to loosen.
“Hah! Thanks, but I’m fine with things like this.” She looked down again before glancing back up at Shepard in a way Garrus almost would have called coy, “It’s fun watching you shout.”
“ Oookay people, back to the ship.” Jane barked suddenly, looking back at where Shepard and Tali stood, seemingly unaware of the goings on around them, “Let’s give them a little space,” She added, a small smile on her face as the two of them continued talking quietly. The group started moving toward the hallway leading to the Normandy’s docking bay, and Garrus looked back to see Tali lift a hand to lay on Shepard’s arm lightly, hesitantly. Garrus turned away, looking back at Jane beside him who was smiling smugly.
“Stop looking so self satisfied. You haven’t done anything to help them along yet.” He nudged her lightly and she shoved him back playfully.
“Come on, Tali’Zorah vas Normandy ,” Shepard’s voice echoed down the hall as the other two turned to follow the ground team toward the ship, “Let’s get back to our ship.”
“We’ll see.” Jane smirked, raising an eyebrow up at him before glancing back at them, “I’m starting to come around to your way of thinking that they might not need my help.” Garrus snorted at that.
“Perhaps.” He sobered a moment later, thinking back to his discussion with Tali a few weeks before. “You might want to check in with Tali, though. She had some pretty real reservations last time we talked about it.”
“Wait, Tali confided in you about John?” Jane’s eyes shot back to him, suddenly serious again.
“A bit. I think she’s worried about being a distraction, among other things. Like I said, maybe you should talk to her. I don’t think I’m really the best authority on romance.”
“Oh, I don’t know. I think you’ve done a pretty good job so far.” She replied as she grinned, turning to look out the window. He could see just enough of her face to pick up on the slight pink flush to her cheeks, and he felt himself smile with pleasure.
Once they left the Migrant Fleet, Shepard informed the crew that they were going to be making their way to the derelict Reaper Cerberus had found in order to remove its IFF. The theory was that having the Reaper IFF should make a trip through the Omega 4 Relay safe, but Garrus wasn’t sure it would be that easy. They’d all seen the effects of indoctrination, and there was something about the thought of boarding an actual Reaper that made his skin crawl. But if Shepard ordered it, he’d probably march down into the bowels of Hell itself.
Jane seemed to have fixated on her hopes for Shepard and Tali, taking every excuse to try dragging them both into conversation before sneaking out in an attempt to prompt the two to have some sort of heart to heart. Though Jane’s somewhat hamfisted maneuvering seemed painfully obvious to Garrus, the other two seemed completely oblivious to both it and to the other’s apparent interest. He couldn’t help but wonder if he and Jane had appeared that way to others. Surely not?
Garrus hadn’t planned on involving himself, honestly. While he’d appreciated Wrex’s advice in the end, he had not particularly enjoyed the manner of the krogan’s well intentioned meddling. Which was why he was surprised when Shepard’s message popped up on his omni-tool a few hours before they arrived at the derelict Reaper.
Got time to come up for a drink? I could use some advice. - JS
Admittedly, it took him a moment to realize it was from John Shepard and not Jane. He wasn’t sure how their names were spelled in whatever human language the siblings spoke, but when translated into turian standard text, their names were frustratingly similar.
Regardless, he was at a pretty good stopping point with what he’d been working on, so he shut down the Main Battery’s control console and made his way up to the Captain’s Quarters. When he arrived, Shepard was lounging back in his desk chair, sipping a beer as he absently watched the fish swim lazy circles in their tank.
Shepard saluted him with his drink before standing and gesturing to the fish.
“I’m not sure how they manage to stay alive, honestly. I don’t remember the last time I fed them. Guess I should probably be better about that.” He turned to grab something off his desk, and Garrus felt a crooked smile grace his face as he remembered Jane’s admission that she liked to feed the fish when she had a spare moment. “Here!” Garrus turned to see Shepard holding out another bottle, one clearly marked ‘dextro’, “Grabbed one for you, hope you don’t mind this flavor.”
“Of course not, thanks.” Garrus replied and cracked it open before following Shepard as he stepped down into the living quarters. They both sat down on the couch, taking sips of their respective drinks before getting comfy. Garrus let his eyes fall on the cracked N7 helmet sitting on a low desk nearby. He quickly ripped his eyes away, realizing with discomfort what it was. “So,” He started after another sip, “What can I do for you, Shepard?”
“Ah. Well.” The other man seemed to sink into the couch further, his nerves and unease nearly palpable. Garrus felt anxiety building with every moment of silence that followed until Shepard finally continued haltingly, “You’ve, er, been with quite a few women over the years, haven’t you?”
Garrus coughed as he swallowed suddenly at the unexpected question, but once he regained the ability to speak, he didn’t even know what to say.
“Er, well, I-”
“Or men, I mean! I’m not judging!” Shepard held up a hand, quickly back peddling as he misunderstood Garrus’ discomfort.
“Oh, I, uh, no, that’s not-” Garrus’ hand automatically shot up to rub the back of his neck as he leaned forward to rest his other forearm against his knee.
“I just figure you have more experience with this romance stuff than I do, that’s all. Thought I could pick your brain a little.” Shepard sighed and ran a hand over his short, buzzed hair, “I’ve spent my entire adult life focused on my career, I never made time for any of this sort of thing. But, with everything going on, this mission coming up, the Reapers… I just feel like…” He glanced away, his mind seeming to drift off to another place, “I feel like there’s things that shouldn’t be left unsaid. Not anymore.” He looked back to Garrus, his expression suddenly anxious, “But I have no idea how to go about this.”
“I’m assuming this is about Tali?” Garrus asked before taking another sip of his drink, sitting back in his seat. Shepard’s eyebrows shot up and he smiled suddenly.
“See? You knew exactly what I was getting at. You must have so much more experience with women and romance than I do.” His hand came up as he gestured vaguely before him, “You’re so suave, so confident, all the turian ladies must be falling all over themselves to be with you.”
Garrus couldn’t help the bark of laughter that leapt out of him at that, shaking his head with amusement.
“Shepard, there’s a difference between a little stress relief with a crew mate before a mission and having an epic romance. I’ve had sex plenty of times, sure, but I-” He cut off suddently, the words dying on his tongue. He took another sip of his drink before continuing, “I have a little less experience with making people fall in love with me.”
Garrus looked away, unable to hold Shepard’s eyes as he imagined a certain redhead a few decks below. His intention had never been to hide his relationship with Jane from Shepard, and yet… This did not seem like the ideal moment to say ‘Oh, except for your baby sister.’
“Ah, I see what you mean. I’m in a similar situation, I’ve had my share of fun on shore leave, but…” Shepard took a long swig of his own drink before glancing down at the table between them in introspection.
The more Garrus thought about it, the more he realized he didn’t know about human culture. He’d done plenty of research about courtship customs, of course, and they’d come in handy time and again. And yet, he somehow knew nothing about the proper way to meet his human girlfriend’s family, as it were. Or tell her girlfriend’s older brother. Who happened to be his best friend. And his commanding officer. Spirits .
But there were particular rules surrounding meeting your girlfriend’s family in turian culture, so it only made sense that there probably would be in human culture, too. He’d have to do more research.
Garrus brought a hand up to rub his eyes before shifting in his seat. He supposed he could at least share some advice. Jane would probably string him up if he didn’t help encourage Shepard to make a move. He knew she had tried to talk to Tali a few times, but had yet to make any headway there.
“So, how do you feel about Tali, exactly? What do you want with her?” Garrus started after a moment, and Shepard nearly jumped as he sat up.
“Ah, I-” He fumbled, his face flushing, “Sorry, I’ve never been good about talking about this stuff.” He took a deep breath, letting out slowly. “She’s important to me. All of you are, but she’s… She’s special.” He smiled as he looked down at his drink, and Garrus couldn’t help but smile as he thought about someone else.
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” He muttered, and Shepard looked up at him sharply.
“I thought you said you weren’t interested in Tali.” Garrus’ brow plates shot up, and he raised a hand defensively as he shook his head.
“What? Oh, no. That’s not what I-” Garrus paused, and a moment later he chuckled as he shrugged, looking away as heat crept up his neck, “No, I was thinking about… Someone else.”
“So, you do have a little turian lady friend tucked away, huh?” Shepard grinned as he sat forward to rest his forearms on his knees, and Garrus’s smile stiffened as his mandibles flicked nervously.
“Er, something like that.”
“So, what am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to make some sort of romantic gesture? I’ve looked into quarian culture a little, but I’m worried she’d be offended if I tried any of that because I’m human. And I don’t even know how she feels about me. I’ve never become involved with a subordinate before, it’s against all the regs. But we’re not an Alliance vessel, so does it really matter? But at the same time, those regs exist for a reason, and I don’t want her to feel pressured into anything she doesn’t want because I’m above her-” Shepard cut off his anxious monologue suddenly, his eyes popping as he sat up suddenly, “-because I’m her commanding officer , I meant! I’m not-! I didn’t mean it like that !”
Garrus chuckled as Shepard’s face screwed up in embarrassment and they both took another sip of their drinks. After Shepard seemed to have cooled down a little, Garrus ventured back into the conversation.
“Honestly, Shepard? I think you should just try talking to her about it.” Shepard opened his mouth to argue, but Garrus continued on regardless, “I know. It seems nerve wracking. But sometimes it’s the only way to really understand where you stand with someone.”
“I have no idea how she feels. I really don’t want to ruin everything by putting myself out there and making her uncomfortable.”
For a moment, Garrus considered telling Shepard about the feelings Tali had confided in him. He knew perfectly well that they both felt the same way about each other, but it also felt wrong to bring up what Tali had said. Plus, she had raised some perfectly reasonable concerns about a possible relationship between the two. It wasn’t Garrus’ business. But, he could probably give him a push in the right direction.
“I don’t think you have too much you need to worry about. Grunt was reading some old human history the other day, something about knights and princesses and dragons.”
Shepard snorted at that in amusement, his face disbelieving. “Dragons aren’t exactly historically accurate. They’re mythological at best.” Garrus shrugged, unconcerned as he grinned.
“Whatever, same difference. Regardless, you’ve come riding to Tali’s rescue so many times now that she must be feeling like quite the princess. She must see you as quite the ‘knight in shining armor’ at this point.” Shepard appeared to have lost his ability to speak, his mouth open and closing as he struggled for words.
“I’m not- I didn’t- That was never my intention. Each of those times, I did what I did because it was the right thing to do, not out of any sort of attempt to-”
“I know , Shepard, relax. I wasn’t trying to say otherwise. And she knows that, too. I think that’s part of why-” Garrus shut his mouth, mindful not to bring Tali’s supposed feelings into it, “That’s why I think you should give it a shot. You don’t need to just throw it out there immediately, maybe test the waters first. Feel out what her feelings might be. If she gives you reason to believe she might be interested, then take the plunge and tell her how you feel. See where it leads you.”
They fell into silence again, and Garrus finished off his drink as he let Shepard digest his words. After a little while, the other man lifted up his foot to rest it on the low table in front of him.
“Huh.” Shepard exhaled, his face considering. “That makes sense.” He, too, finished off his drink and put the bottle on the table. “Thanks, Garrus. You've given me a lot to think about. I really appreciate it."
"No problem, Shepard." Garrus crossed his ankle over his knee and grinned at the other man, his best friend, adding, "It's the least I can do, what with a face like yours , I figure you need all the help you can get."
Shepard threw his head back and laughed. Garrus joined him, and when they finally quieted down, Shepard dried a tear in his eye as he grinned.
"Okay, okay, so now tell me about this lovely turian of yours." He said after a moment, causing Garrus to freeze. For a split second, he considered just… telling him. But introduction into your significant other’s family and clan was so important to turians, and he had no idea how it was supposed to be done among humans. Better to make sure he wasn't committing any human faux pas before diving right into it.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Shepard, but I don't have any turian girlfriend." Garrus stated, technically not lying, he reasoned.
"Ah well," Shepard muttered, his face falling for a moment before he smiled again, "I guess that just means you'll need a wingman next time we have some shore leave. You really shouldn’t rely on Jane for that, she has no idea how to be subtle. Don't worry, I've got your back. We'll find a date for you, yet. Even with half your face missing." They shared another laugh as Garrus rolled his eyes.
"Thanks." He drawled, and Shepard stood, grabbing the empty bottles.
“Can I get you another one?”
"Sure, why not?" Garrus kicked back, cherishing quality time spent with a man who had become like a brother to him.
Notes:
The chapters seem to be getting longer and longer, but I'm currently finishing up the last chapter of part 2! We're getting close, people! Thank you so much for all your support, I always welcome comments, critiques, insights, and observations!
Extra special thanks for helping this story reach 10k hits! Quite literally could not have reached this milestone without you lovely folks 🥰
Chapter 46: Part 2: Chapter 21
Summary:
In which Garrus meets the geth.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 21
The Normandy SR2
It was a geth.
That much was readily apparent just by looking at it. Besides that, though, the thing laying before them in the AI Core was an enigma. They’d acquired it during their mission to retrieve the Reaper IFF after it had inexplicably assisted them against Reaper forces. It had been disabled by the husks, but they’d managed to get it back to the Normandy during their escape.
The geth showed no signs of life as it lay there, and yet when they entered the room, Garrus had felt the tension amongst the group ratchet upwards. They’d fought too many geth to let their guard down around one, disabled or not.
A barrier sprung up around the motionless geth as they approached.
“ I have isolated our systems and erected additional firewalls. I am prepared to resist any hacking attempts.” EDI informed them as Shepard pulled up his omni-tool, nodding to the guard he’d positioned nearby earlier. He focused down at his omni-tool, but after a moment, a look of consternation appeared on his face.
“Jane, you’re better with tech than I am. What do you recommend we try to get it working again?” Shepard muttered, glancing at his sister, who quirked an eyebrow up at him. “What? In the past, I’ve generally been a bit more concerned with killing geth, not waking them up. Cut me some slack.”
“Fine, since you asked so nicely.” Jane replied with teasing sweetness in her voice as she pulled her own omni-tool up. She input a few commands in and, after a moment, a jolt seemed to shoot through the geth. Still, it didn’t move, so she tried again.
The light upon its head suddenly sprang to life, almost appearing to blink as it regained awareness. It focused and refocused as it seemed to regain its bearings, before it began twitching its limbs and digits, taking stock. It turned its head after a moment, taking them all in, and quickly got to its feet, standing at its considerable full height.
Garrus felt his body’s first reaction of fear as they stood before a functioning geth, but the machine seemed to be standing at its ease, neither aggressive nor fearful. Slowly, they all seemed to process the odd situation they found themselves in.
“Huh.” Was all Jane said as she stared at it with wide, fascinated eyes. Shepard glared at the machine, his shoulders held taut as he remained motionless, and after a moment, Garrus forced his own body to relax slightly. “Can you understand us?” Jane asked after a moment.
“ Yes. ” It replied simply.
“Are you going to attack us?” Shepard asked sharply, his voice a warning.
“ No. ” It replied simply again.
“You said my name aboard the Reaper. Have we met?” He followed up his first question, his voice somewhat less threatening.
“ We know of you. ”
“You mean that we’ve fought a lot of geth.” Jane pointed out, but the geth seemed almost unsure how to answer.
“ We have never met.”
“No, you and I haven’t. But I’ve met other geth.” Shepard replied, but once again, the geth blinked in apparent… confusion? Unease? How was one supposed to read an expression without a face? Even Tali was easier to read than this.
“ We are all geth, and we have not met you.” It stated, and as Shepard began to pace before its enclosure, it, too, began to pace, “ You are Shepard. Commander. Alliance. Human. Fought Heretics. Killed by Collectors. Rediscovered on the Old Machine.”
“You seem to know an awful lot about him.” Jane pointed out after a moment, causing the geth to glance at her quickly.
“ Extranet data sources. Insecure broadcasts. All organic data sent out is received.” It looked back to Shepard as it continued, “We watch you.”
“You watch me , or you watch organics ?” Shepard asked with evident discomfort.
“ Yes. ” Was the only reply offered, causing Jane to snort with amusement.
“Which?” Shepard snapped coldly.
“ Both. ”
“Oh, come on, John. Lighten up, enough with the tough guy posturing. Clearly it doesn’t work on it. What I want to know is…” Jane shifted where she stood, her head tilted curiously as she examined the geth, “What are these ‘heretics’ you mentioned?”
“Geth build our own future. The heretics asked the Old Machines to give them the future. They are no longer part of us.”
“Wait. By ‘Old Machines’, you mean the Reapers, don’t you?” Jane asked, and the geth almost seemed to nod at her.
“Yes. ”
“Are you telling me that there was some sort of rift amongst the geth? There’s two factions?”
“Not all geth are allied with the Reapers?” Shepard asked suddenly, his face betraying his astonishment.
“We oppose the heretics. We oppose the Old Machines.” The geth stated clearly, and after a moment, it took a half step forward, standing just before the barrier between it and Shepard. “ Shepard-Commander opposes the Old Machines. Shepard-Commander opposes the heretics.” The panels along its head seemed to shift almost in hesitation, “ Cooperation furthers mutual goals.”
Jane’s hand came up to cover her mouth as she pursed her lips in an attempt not to laugh. Mirth danced in her eyes as she turned to look at her brother.
“It called you ‘Shepard-Commander’. That is so cute. Can we keep it?”
“No, it’s not some kind of pet, Jane. Plus, Tali would kill me if I let it join the crew, you know that.”
“Oh, come on, John. I’m sure you can sweet talk her, she’ll come around.” Jane turned to the geth, a smile on her face, “You are asking to join us, right?”
“ Yes. ” Jane turned back to Shepard, her smile widening.
“The more the merrier, wouldn’t you say, John?” She elbowed him in the side and he sighed. If he didn’t know better, Garrus would have called it a sigh of defeat.
“ If you were going to join us, what would we call you?” Shepard asked the geth, and it seemed to tilt its head as though not understanding the question.
“ Geth .” It stated almost as though it thought the answer was obvious.
“I mean you . Specifically.” Shepard clarified as Jane’s fist came up to cover her mouth again, her amusement apparent.
“ We are all geth.”
“What is the individual in front of me called?” Shepard narrowed his eyes as he crossed his arms, ignoring Jane as she attempted to stifle her laughter.
“ There is no individual. We are geth. There are currently 1,183 active programs within this platform.”
“‘My name is Legion, for we are many.’” Came the modulated tone’s of EDI’s voice as she appeared suddenly nearby. Shepard’s expression softened as he considered her words, and Jane’s head began to slowly nod in appreciation.
“That seemed appropriate.” Shepard stated after a moment before looking back at the geth. The plates around its head seemed to spasm, almost as though it were weighing the words before it spoke.
“ Christian Bible, the Gospel of Mark, chapter 5, verse 9. We acknowledge this is an appropriate metaphor.”
“I like it.” Jane stated as she looked back at the geth, which glanced at her before looking back to the commander.
“We are Legion, a terminal of the geth.” It said decidedly, and Garrus had to admit it suited the strange machine.
“What do you say, John?” Jane turned to Shepard again, her eyes wide and entreating as she grinned, “Can we keep it?” After a moment of silence, Shepard sighed and opened up his omni-tool to disengage the barrier between them.
“Welcome aboard, Legion.” He held out his hand, and after a beat, Legion slowly raised its hand and held it out, mirroring Shepard. Its gaze jumped between the commander and their hands, an inch apart and yet not touching. Realizing Legion didn’t quite understand what was expected of it, Shepard took the initiative and clasped the geth’s hand within his own, giving it a firm shake. Catching on quickly, Legion engaged in the shake before they stepped back.
“ We anticipate the exchange of data.”
Jane quickly darted in, offering her hand for Legion to shake as well, and it caught on much faster the second time. Her questions began flowing even before they released each other’s hands, causing Legion to blink in something resembling astonishment. She asked questions about the heretics, the ‘Old Machines’, the geth’s systems of government and communication, and then finally-
“Okay, but what about this N7 armor here-” Jane pointed a finger toward the barely covered hole in Legion’s chest, “Why do you have that?”
The panels around Legion’s face flared suddenly as it glanced down at its chest, then looked back at Jane.
“ There was a hole. ”
“I can see that.” She stated dryly, “So what? You just stumbled upon a chunk of broken N7 armor and decided to use that to patch yourself up?” She asked, disbelief in her voice, and the plates around Legion’s head flared again, seeming to stutter in a way that seemed anxious. It was silent for a long moment before replying slowly.
“We are building a consensus. Please ask again later.”
“I… what?” Jane drew back in confusion, her expression puzzled, and Shepard put a hand on her shoulder.
“I think it’s saying that it hasn’t decided how to answer the question at the moment.” He told her softly, and Legion looked at him.
“That is correct.”
“Come on, guys. How about we give Legion some time to settle in and, er-” He continued taking a step backwards, seemingly unsure what word he was looking for.
“We will integrate into Normandy.” Legion supplied, and Shepard nodded, turning toward the door and gesturing for Jane and Garrus to follow.
“Yeah, that. Good to have you aboard, Legion.”
“Thank you, Shepard-Commander.”
“That name is the cutest thing.” Jane whispered as they left, and Garrus couldn’t help but smile as Shepard rolled his eyes.
“You’re not allowed to call me that.”
“I wish I had thought of it back when we argued about what I should call you when you first took command of the SR1.”
“Come on, I need to figure out how I’m going to break this to Tali…”
Tali did, in fact, require convincing before she came around, her initial reaction being every bit as upset and angry as Shepard had feared. Besides that, Legion seemed to ‘integrate into Normandy’ fairly easily. Granted, it didn’t participate in many of the usual activities during which most of the crew bonded such as meals, hygiene, or working out. However, it seemed to find conversation with organics interesting, and occasionally sought crew members out to ask questions in order to better understand them. Garrus also found these conversations fairly interesting, once he got over the oddness of talking with a geth, of all things. In a way, it wasn’t that much different than talking with EDI.
Legion found other ways to bond with crewmates as well, though Garrus wasn’t sure it worked quite as well as the geth hoped.
“I swear to God, I’m never playing Medal of Duty against it ever again. I don’t know what made me think that would be fun.” Jane fumed one evening as she placed her tray down on the mess table harder than strictly necessary.
“Bit of a sore loser, huh Jane?” Garrus chuckled as he picked at his own disappointing meal, causing her to roll her eyes. She didn’t argue.
Despite ruffling a few feathers over its superior gaming skills, Legion managed to begin making a home for itself aboard the Normandy. The Reaper IFF proved to be slightly more difficult to integrate into their systems than they’d originally anticipated, but the process was underway, and Shepard seemed hopeful that their trip through the Omega 4 Relay would soon be possible.
Which was why it was surprising when they suddenly changed course and went tearing off toward the Sea of Storms instead of the Omega Nebula. When questioned about the matter, Shepard claimed that Legion had brought something to his attention regarding a virus the heretic geth planned to use to rewrite the rest of them, convincing them to follow the Reapers. Seeing as the IFF wasn’t even properly installed yet, let alone tested, preventing the downfall of the geth seemed as good a way to spend their time as anything.
Garrus palmed the elevator button and waited as the sluggish machine made its way down to the crew deck. As soon as the door opened, he blinked as he took in a very stern looking Jane speaking firmly to a very uncomfortable looking Shepard. They both looked up and greeted him as he hesitantly entered the elevator. Jane, however, quickly returned to whatever they’d been speaking about.
“I think you’re just a coward.”
“I’m not a coward.” Shepard replied haughtily, and Jane crossed her arms. “I’m just… I’ve been plotting my plan of attack.”
“Bullshit.” Jane glared up at her brother, her expression entirely unamused.
“I’m waiting for the right moment.”
“You’re a coward.”
“I am not!”
“What’s this about?” Garrus asked after a moment, and Jane rolled her eyes as she gestured to Shepard.
“He still hasn’t been honest with Tali about his crush.”
“Seriously?” Garrus raised a brow plate at Shepard, who sighed. “Didn’t we have a whole conversation about this recently?”
“Really, guys? Do we really need to talk about this? Stop ganging up on me.” Shepard pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, his cheeks turning a faint pink.
“You’re running out of time.” Jane pointed out, causing Shepard to grumble.”Do you really want to make the jump through the Omega 4 Relay without having told her how you feel?”
“Her father just died . It seems a little inappropriate to just-” Shepard waved a hand vaguely before him, as though he didn’t have the words for what he wanted to express.
“Maybe the distraction of a little romance is exactly what she needs.” Jane replied in a way that suggested to Garrus that this was not the first time the siblings had had this debate. The door opened onto the engineering deck and Jane placed a hand on Shepard’s back, forcibly guiding him through the door and around the corner. Garrus had been going down to the cargo bay to use the gym, but instead he followed the siblings out of the elevator.
As soon as Jane directed Shepard through the first door toward engineering, he seemed to realize where they were, and dug in his heels.
“Now, hold on a moment. You can’t just-” Jane grabbed his arms and attempted to frog march him toward the second set of doors.
“I can, and I will.” Jane growled, shoving her weight into Shepard’s back as they inched toward the door. “That poor girl is head over heels in love with you, and you’re clearly besotted. If you make her wait any-”
“Wait, what?” Shepard threw off Jane’s hands with seeming ease, bringing them to a halt. He turned to look at her, his expression confused and faintly hopeful. “Did she tell you that or…?”
“Just go in there and talk to her about your damn feelings!” Jane snapped, bringing her hands up to guide him toward the final set of doors. “I’m tired of you both moping around being sad and lonely, so this is happening one way or another.” She leaned into him, causing them to inch further toward engineering. Garrus watched, determined to remain neutral, and trying not to laugh.
“Hold up, I’m not-!” The doors sprang open, revealing a frustrated looking Tali as she fiddled with the drive core’s controls. She glanced at them as the door opened, doing a double take and turning around fully to watch as she registered the odd scene before her.
Jane gave Shepard one last shove, causing him to stumble through the doors before regaining his footing. He looked over his shoulder at her with an annoyed glare that screamed ‘we’re going to have words later, you and me.’
“Shepard!” Tali exclaimed, pleasure and trepidation in her voice, “What can I do for you?”
“Have fun guys!”Jane chirped cheerfully as she waved just before the doors closed between them, cutting off the view into engineering.
“That might have been a little cruel.” Garrus murmured even as a crooked grin spread across his face, causing Jane to shrug.
“Come on,” She wrapped her hand around his wrist, tugging him toward the stairs nearby, “I don’t want to miss this!” She took off quickly, all but dragging him down the stairs into the storage area beneath engineering. Admittedly, Garrus had never ventured down this way before, his general discomfort around Jack being enough to make it not quite worth the while.
“What the fuck are you two doing down here?” Jack snapped as she looked up from whatever she was reading as she lounged on her cot, the low red lighting giving everything an eerie glow. “Don’t tell me you’re looking for a closet to fuck in. Go do your kinky shit somewhere else.”
“Nice to see you, too, Jack.” Jane offered offhandedly as she let go of Garrus, marched forward, and leapt up onto the cot, grabbing onto one of the pipes lining the low ceiling.
“Whoa, hey now, back the fuck off, Princess!” Jack spat as she struggled to regain her balance, the cot wobbling at the unexpected addition. She leaned forward and attempted to shove Jane off the cot with less success than she would have liked.
“What are you trying to do, Jane?” Garrus asked with bemusement as he took a few steps toward her, hesitantly reaching out a hand to offer support in case Jane toppled backward.
“There’s gotta be… Some sort of air vent or something up here. Back off, Jack, I’m busy!” Jane snapped at the biotic, using one hand to shove Jack away unsuccessfully.
“What do you need some stupid, crappy little air vent for anyway?” Jack replied as she gave Jane another shove halfheartedly, seeming genuinely confused and curious.
“If John really is going to finally lay it out all for Tali, I don’t want to miss it.” Jane said as she resumed her search of the ceiling, “It’s either going to be ridiculously cute or ridiculously hilarious, hopefully both.” Garrus rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms.
“Give them some privacy, they deserve that much.” He sighed, causing Jane to turn and glare at him. She opened her mouth to retort, but was cut off by a slight, electronic crackling sound from nearby.
“You’re probably going to be disappointed.” Kasumi stated smugly as she appeared leaning against the nearby wall, “I’ve tried eavesdropping down here, but the sound really just doesn’t carry well.”
“I can hear… something. I think they're talking about envirosuit environments?" The room went silent while she struggled to listen. "Crap, I can't make sense of it."
She let her hands fall to her sides in frustration before leaping down off the cot. Jack grumbled about people invading her space as she clambered off the cot as well.
“EDI?” Jane asked, looking vaguely upwards.
“ How can I be of service?” EDI’s melodic voice sounded odd and tinny in the small storage space, but Jane seemed hopeful again as she perked up.
“Can you send a live audio feed from engineering to my omni-tool?”
“ I’m sorry, but I believe that would be a breach of Commander Shepard’s privacy.”
“Ah ha! So they are having a private conversation up there.”
“ I cannot comment on the topic of their conversation, as I believe that would also be a breach of privacy. I believe most species frown upon the act of ‘eavesdropping’.”
“I mean, this isn’t really eavesdropping,” Jane shrugged somewhat guiltily, “I’m just concerned about-”
“Bullshit,” Jack cut in as she rolled her eyes, “You’re eavesdropping because you’re a nosy little shit.”
“Hey!” Jane glared at Jack, shoving her lighting in the arm, causing the biotic to glare at her as she returned the shove. Before he knew it, Garrus was trying to pry the two women apart as they wrestled with each other.
“Okay, okay, enough already, stop it. Both of you.” Garrus growled as he finally managed to pull them apart, both of them glaring at him. He rolled his eyes as he noticed that they were both grinning, though, as they dusted themselves off. They had such an odd, antagonistic friendship, he’d never understand it. “I’m sure if Shepard and Tali’s conversation goes the way you’re hoping it will, we’ll find out sooner or later. Let’s just be patient.”
“Fine.” Jane grumbled as she ran her fingers through her tostled hair in an attempt to fix it, “Or maybe- Kasumi? Can you-” She turned to where the thief had been sitting only to find her already gone. “Neeeevermind. Okay, fine, you win, Garrus.” With a sigh, Jane shoved her hands in her pockets before heading for the stairs. “A pleasure , as always, Jack.”
“Fuck you.” Jack replied almost pleasantly as she returned to her cot, grabbing up a discarded datapad. Garrus shook his head before following after Jane.
“Maybe I’ll try my hand at Medal of Duty against Legion again. Probably a more productive usage of my time.” Jane muttered as they trudged back up the stairs, but as they crested the landing halfway up, Garrus reached out to grab the back of her hoodie, bringing her to a halt.
“I can probably think of something we can do if you’re looking to pass the time…” He leaned down to whisper in her ear, his mandible flicking against her cheek as he grinned. He felt her shiver as he leaned in closer, and she turned to face him, her eyes alight with sudden eager anticipation.
“Is that so, Big Guy?” She looked up at him through her lashes, her own grin spreading as her hands crept around his waist.
“ Shit , I can still hear you guys! I told you this isn’t a closet, you can’t fuck here! Go away!” Jack yelled at them, causing them both to jump and wince. Jane chuckled before grabbing his hand and pulling him toward the remaining stairs, and Garrus let her lead him away.
The installation of the Reaper IFF was completed sometime just before they arrived at the geth heretic base in the Sea of Storms, but EDI insisted on running a battery of tests prior to activating it. Seeing as it was Reaper technology, no one argued with her.
They’d been running scans and tests for a few hours already by the time they began their approach toward the heretic base, and as the ground team piled into the shuttle, it was with the understanding that they’d be heading for Omega for one last shore leave upon their return. Then, they would make for the Omega 4 Relay and whatever lay beyond it at the center of the galaxy. The thought sent chills down Garrus’ spine, but he tried to keep his mind on the mission at hand.
He was not afraid to admit that this schism between the geth and the heretics confused him a little, but Shepard seemed to think this was a mission worth their while. They were there to find some sort of virus given to the heretics in order to force the geth to follow the Reapers. Why they didn’t just bomb the entire station from the safety of the Normandy was beyond Garrus, but he trusted in Shepard to make the best call.
The heretic base was an eerie place, and the further they made their way through it, the more Garrus wished this had been one of the missions he could have sat out. Jane, however, seemed absolutely fascinated by the entire experience. It seemed like every room they entered, every piece of new technology they encountered, she had new questions that she peppered at Legion, drinking in his answers as though they were water on her parched tongue. Her curiosity regarding the geth seemed to be developing beyond her friendship with Legion to encompass all of his kind, and Garrus couldn’t help but wonder why. Personally, he remembered being fired at by geth a little too vividly on more than one occasion, even if they had technically been ‘heretics’.
When they finally did manage to track down the virus, they were given an interesting option: Should they destroy the heretics residing on the station? Or use their own virus against them in order to dissuade them from following the Reapers?
Garrus had never seen the two Shepards engage in such a heated debate mid-mission before.
“You can’t be serious, John.” Jane hissed angrily as she crossed her arms, and Shepard turned to eye her thoughtfully.
“Jane, we’ve been through this. We can’t just kill them, and they may be able to help us once they’re rewritten.” He replied, his voice leveled as he attempted to explain his position calmly.
“You mean once you brainwash them.”
“It’s not like that.”
“It’s exactly like that.”
“We can’t just murder them all!” Shepard’s calm began to crack as he glared back at his sister as she refused to budge.
“Yes, it would be murder. But we’re at war, and casualties happen.” Her voice was sharp, but when her face seemed to fall as she continued in a lower tone, “You know what rewriting them all is akin to?”
“What?”
“Indoctrination.” The word hung between them, seeming to echo through the silent room. The rest of the team seemed to tense uncomfortably. “Is that really a line you want to cross, John?”
“I-” Shepard cut himself off, his brow knitting as he frowned at the floor in consideration.
“They came to these conclusions of their own free will. Forcing them to change their minds, it’s not right and you know it.” Jane’s voice had softened, and when she finally continued, it was nearly a whisper, “If I become indoctrinated-” Shepard opened his mouth, but Jane cut him off, “ No , you know it could happen someday as well as I do. And if I were indoctrinated… Well, I’d rather be killed than suffer that.” Garrus felt something in his chest shrivel and twist at the words, but he heard murmured words of agreement amongst the team members around him.
Could he do it? If faced with a Jane who had become indoctrinated… Could he pull the trigger? Could he look her in the eye and do what had to be done? Would he be strong enough? Or was he too selfish? Too weak?
Garrus wasn’t sure, but he prayed he never had to find out. Given their line of work, what they were gearing up to march into, there was a non-zero chance he would need to answer those questions someday. But he damn sure wasn’t going to think about it if he could help it.
“Jane, I-” Shepard tore his eyes away from his sister’s, gazing back at where Legion stood waiting at the input terminal. After a moment, he shut his eyes, his face twisting as though he’d tasted something that didn’t sit well. “Legion, blow them up. We have a chance to end this, let’s not waste it.”
“ Acknowledged.” Came Legion’s curt reply as it turned back to the terminal, “ Collapsing antimatter magnetic bottling mechanisms. Recommend withdrawal to the Normandy.” There was a loud noise from somewhere far off, and suddenly the ground shook beneath them. Nearby, the red display before a door flashed green.
“Thank you, John.” Jane murmured as she placed a hand on his arm, and one corner of his lips came up in a sad, crooked smile. “You did the right thing.”
“Maybe. I don’t know. These choices are never easy, it’s not my right to be judge, jury, and executioner.”
“Guys?” Garrus cut in urgently as the ground shook again, “I hate to break up the touching moment, but I think it’s time to move.” They looked at him suddenly and realized the entire team had hurried toward the door, clearly anxious to leave before the base exploded.
“ Shit , let’s go.”
“ Come in, Shepard. Do you read?” They’d only just managed to escape the wreckage of the destroyed heretic base when they received EDI’s hail.
“Loud and clear, EDI. We were just on our way back, what’s up?”
“There was an incident while you were away. I will send you the coordinates for the Normandy’s location.” There was a hitch to her voice as she said the word ‘incident’ that seemed odd for the AI.
“What happened?” Shepard replied sharply as he shifted to stand behind where Jacob sat piloting the shuttle.
“We were attacked shortly after your shuttle departed. By the Collectors.” There were a number of sharp intakes of breath, and Garrus felt his eyes meet Jane’s. “ I will explain in greater detail when you arrive back aboard the Normandy.”
It was a tense and mercifully short ride to where the Normandy waited for them. When the shuttle door opened, the lack of welcome from the crew made the unusual silence scream in their ears as they disembarked. They hurried toward the elevator, but most slowed as they noticed crates and gear strewn about, as well as a smear of red on the floor.
“ Welcome back. Jeff is waiting for you in the communications room.”
“Okay, team. Split up. I want a full search of the ship, find any and all survivors.” Shepard barked at the team, and everyone nodded as many of them unholstered their weapons. Jack and Grunt immediately set about searching the cargo bay while the rest of them waited for the elevator.
It was interesting the things you noticed when events seemed to be spiraling out of control. As the team hurried to pack into the elevator, Garrus couldn’t help but remember that EDI had referred to Joker as ‘Jeff’, not her usual ‘Mr. Moreau’.
“Okay, EDI, I want details. What’s the status of the ship and the crew? How did you survive? How did they find us?” Shepard asked as he pushed the button for the CIC. Garrus heard Jane curse the slowness of the elevator quietly where she stood wedged into the corner behind him. After a moment, the doors opened and Tali, Zaeed, and Legion stepped out onto the engineering deck, weapons drawn. The doors closed after them.
“ There was a virus coded into the Reaper IFF. It began transmitting our location without our knowledge until it was too late. When the Collector ship arrived, the virus had shut down our propulsion and communication systems.”
“Shit.” Shepard hissed as he brought a hand up to run over his head, his eyes clenched shut. He took a deep breath, his face pinched when he finally opened his eyes. “And the crew?” He asked quietly a moment later, but they’d all seen the blood.
“ Taken. The Collectors boarded and subdued the crew. They took them before we managed to remove any remaining Collector forces. Jeff is the only one who remains.” The door opened on the crew deck, and Kasumi, Thane, and Samara stepped out as they checked their weapons, the doors closing behind them.
“How did Joker evade capture? And how did you guys get away?”
“I safely directed Jeff down to the AI Core, where he was able to unlock my sealed databases.”
“You what? ” Miranda asked sharply, dread and anger filling her eyes in an instant. “EDI, it is against all protocols to-” Shepard continued, cutting her off.
“Then what happened?” Miranda glared at him, but held her tongue as EDI continued.
“ I began to initiate counter measures to remove the remaining Collector forces from the ship. Jeff was able to make his way down to engineering, where he activated the drive core. I sealed him in and opened all airlocks as we accelerated. All hostiles were killed.”
“What about the crew who were being abducted?” Shepard asked with rising dread in his voice.
“As I said before, the crew was gone. They had already been taken from the ship by Collectors at that time. None remained when we accelerated except Jeff.”
“Fuck.” Jane cursed under her breath again just as the doors opened. Garrus stepped out, rifle in hand, followed by Jane and Mordin. While they had reason to believe that, thanks to EDI, there were no Collectors left aboard the Normandy, there seemed to be an unspoken agreement amongst the crew: Better safe than sorry. And so they swept through the CIC deck, room by room, until they reported to Shepard that it was clear, as did the others on the lower decks.
“When we were kids,” Jane started quietly as they began walking toward the comm room, “We were part of a small crew of kids. We stuck together and watched each other’s backs when we were on the streets.” Garrus slowed his pace as he glanced at Jane with interest. It wasn’t often that she brought up her and Shepard’s time on the streets. “We had something like a hideout, where we slept, hung out, and stored any salvage or food we found. It wasn’t a home, exactly, but it was the closest thing we had for a while.”
Her face hardened as she seemed to look inward, focusing on the memory, “One day, we came back from scavenging, and the kids we had left as door guards had been beaten up. A gang of older kids had raided our hideout, rifled through all our stuff, stolen anything worth stealing. It sucked . Besides losing stuff we’d worked hard for, the worst part of it was the loss of any sense of security we’d felt there. It just didn’t feel safe anymore, didn’t feel like home anymore. It was so… Infuriating.”
Garrus felt a twofold sadness settle on his shoulders; One for the fact that Jane and her brother had had to grow up in such a cutthroat world, and one for the clear relation to the day’s events. Their ship, their home , had been violated. The enemy had come into their home, taken their friends and crewmates, and left behind nothing but despair, anger, and unease.
His arm shot out, grabbing Jane and pulling her to a stop just before the door. He pulled her close, pressing a human kiss to her temple before nuzzling his forehead against hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as she smiled slightly, but they snapped open again as they heard a quiet cough from behind them. Garrus stepped back, turning to see Mordin standing in the lab’s doorway just behind them. His eyes were diverted, but there was just a hint of a smile on his lips as he shifted slightly.
“Come on.” Jane muttered as she turned out of Garrus’ grasp, leading the way through the door into the comm room.
“ We did everything we could, Jeff .” EDI was saying gently as they entered. Joker sat upon the table, his gaze downcast upon the floor, his expression leaden. While everyone else turned to look at them as the door opened, Joker barely acknowledged their presence.
“Yeah, thanks, Mom .” He muttered dishearteningly.
“This deck is clear, and the other teams have reported their decks are clear as well. No sign of any survivors, friend or foe.” Jane reported, and Shepard nodded as he crossed his arms, seeming to come to a decision.
“I think it’s time we bump up our trip to the Collector homeworld.” He stated, and the room seemed to drop a few degrees. The Collector homeworld, located on the other end of the Omega 4 Relay. In the center of the galaxy. Garrus felt grim acceptance settle on him, interlaced with a shred of doubt as his eyes drifted to Jane. He felt prepared to give his life for this mission, but-
Joker seemed to perk up, “The IFF is clean and online. With EDI hooked in, we can go through the Omega 4 Relay anytime we want.”
“Don’t even get me started about unshackling a damn AI.” Miranda spat angrily from where she stood by the door, and Jane turned to eye her sharply.
“What could I do against Collectors, break my arm at them?” Joker retorted sarcastically, “EDI cleared the ship. She’s all right.”
“ I assure you, I am still bound by protocols in my programming. Even if I was not,” EDI paused for half a second before continuing softly, “ You are my crewmates.” There was something in her voice that, to Garrus, almost sounded like… compassion.
“Leave her be, Miranda.” Jane turned to face the other woman, her hands on her hips, “From the sound of it, the only reason why we had a ship to come back to was because of her.”
“EDI has had plenty of opportunity to kill us.” Shepard nodded in agreement with his sister, “We need all the help we can get.”
“Okay. So what’s the plan?” Jane asked, her hand reaching up to fiddle with her holstered sidearm seemingly of its own accord.
“Joker,” Shepard turned to look at the exhausted pilot, “Head back up to the bridge.” His gaze swept around the room, landing on each person in turn, “The rest of you, to your stations.” Jane, Joker, and Jacob all snapped to attention, saluting the Commander in the way typical of Alliance soldiers. Garrus simply nodded in understanding, ducking his head slightly in respect.
“Aye, aye, Commander.” The words echoed from a number of mouths throughout the small room, a sense of grim purpose seeming to have gripped them all.
“It’s time to end this.” Shepard growled as he stalked out of the room. “Let’s bring our people home.”
Chapter 47: Part 2: Chapter 22
Summary:
In which Garrus finds ways to fill the anxious hours.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 22
The Normandy SR2
*Thwack wack wack thwack*
*Chiinng chinnnggg*
*Wack thwack thwack*
*Chiinnng chinng ching*
Jane’s fists flashed as they collided again and again with the punching bag, the rhythmic sound of gloved flesh smacking against padded leather interlaced with the jingling of the chain as she let the bag sway back and forth between assaults. Garrus could just barely make out the sounds from where he stood watching on the engineering deck, the sound faint as it struggled to penetrate the thick glass. Down below in the cargo bay, Jane was in a world of her own as she went toe to toe with the heavy punching bag, sweat dripping off her as she worked her body relentlessly.
It was amazing to watch her work every day to restore the strength she’d lost after the incident with Morinth. Even with her victory over Vasir, she’d worked doggedly to ensure she would be back in peak condition before their strike on the Collectors. Despite Shepard’s assurances that he hadn’t lost faith in her, Jane was determined not to let him down. It was inspiring to see her dedication.
*Thwack wack wack thwack thwack*
*Chiiiinng ching chinnng*
Her stance was firm and grounded, and yet she still seemed unbelievably light on her feet as she bore down on her imaginary foe, her sweat soaked hair bouncing with each hit. Garrus could see the taut muscles tighten and shift just under her skin as she moved. It was hypnotizing to watch her work, which was good because the last thing he wanted to do was think about what they were hurtling closer toward every moment.
“It is astounding to see how much she has recovered.” Garrus jumped, turning to see the drell assassin, Thane, standing beside him. He had his hands clasped behind his back and his dark eyes were trained upon Jane down below. “She has come a long way in a short time, given the nature of her injuries.” Garrus watched the other man for a moment, letting his startled heart rate settle.
“Jane is determined to contribute to the mission. She doesn’t like sitting around.” Garrus replied after a moment, settling on a neutral response. He could probably count the number of times he’d had one on one conversations with Thane on a single hand, and given his number of digits, that was saying something. They’d covered each other plenty of times in battle, but that didn’t help much when it came to knowing how to interact with him. He seemed like something of an enigma, which made it difficult to let his guard down around the man.
“Of course. I would expect nothing less of a siha.” Thane stated firmly, a hint of pride in his voice, and Garrus blinked. He waited a heartbeat to see if his translator would catch the word, but it remained untranslated.
“A… what?” He asked finally, and Thane turned to him with a small, odd smile. In a way, it almost seemed apologetic. As different as they were, drell and human expressions seemed similar sometimes.
“It is a word for…” Thane paused and cocked his head slightly, as if looking for the best way to explain the untranslatable term. “A word for one of the warrior-angels of the goddess Arashu.”
“If it’s a drell goddess, what does it have to do with Jane?” Garrus asked hesitantly, feeling his back stiffen slightly as Thane’s gaze returned to the woman below, his expression softening with affection.
“A siha need not be only drell. The attributes of Arashu’s warrior-angels can be found throughout the galaxy: Defenders of the weak, punishers of the wicked. Steadfast in their beliefs of what is right and wrong.” He paused for a moment, then said, quietly, “I had never expected to meet two in my lifetime.”
It had been a while since the last time Garrus had felt concern regarding Jane’s friendship with Thane. Though he trusted Jane, and had come to think well of Thane, he suddenly found himself wary of the drell. There was no small amount of warmth in the other man’s voice as he spoke of her. Garrus felt himself standing a little taller, and he shifted uncomfortably.
“I see what you are thinking, but you do not need to be concerned. I would never dream of coming between the two of you. Besides, that chapter of my life is closed. I have come to terms with my impending death. And when I cross the sea, I will be finally reunited with-” But he cut himself off then, and his eyes closed. He took a deep breath, as deep as one could take with his condition.
“Your wife?” Garrus asked hesitantly, feeling his tenseness begin to loosen. Thane opened his eyes and glanced at him before nodding solemnly. “Sorry,” Garrus felt heat creep up his neck in embarrassment, “I shouldn’t have-”
“No, you are welcome to ask. Irikah’s memory should live on after I am gone.” Thane’s gaze seemed to travel inward, as though his mind was somewhere else entirely.
They fell into silence then and Garrus’ eyes landed on Jane again. “You said you’ve met two sihas.” He stated after a few moments. “Your wife, Irikah… Was she the first?” Thane nodded before looking back at him.
“Yes. It was because of her that I was able to awaken from my battle sleep.” Garrus turned to look at him again, and Thane smiled as he continued, “I heard some of the story of your search for revenge. I am told that the Shepards stood between you and the person you intended to kill. I met my wife much the same way. She saw my targeting laser and stood between me and my target.” He paused, then, “We are both lucky to have had such people in our lives.”
“Huh.” Garrus exhaled in surprise, considering. “I suppose we are.” He couldn’t help but smile. After a moment, Thane turned toward the elevator.
“If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion?” The drell turned to look at him over his shoulder, and Garrus nodded, waiting for him to continue, “The eve of battle approaches. I have made peace with my death, but even so, there are things I regret not having done, not having said when I had the chance.” He turned away from Garrus, his voice heavy. “You have no delusions about what this mission might entail. To go into it without having first achieved peace in your soul would be a disservice to all your comrades, but to her in particular. I can tell you are not yet at rest, Vakarian. Achieve this before we go into battle, for only then will you be able to serve her- and yourself, best.” And with that, he moved toward the button, stepping into the elevator as it opened.
Garrus stared for minute, his mind in shocked turmoil, processing what had been said. Eventually, he turned back toward the window, Thane’s words still weighing on him heavily. He had had plenty of regrets in life. But if he had to stop and think about what he would regret most if he were to die beyond the Omega 4 Relay, the actual list would be somewhat short. His eyes fell upon the woman beating the living daylights out of the punching bag.
For one, Jane needed to know that he loved her, because if either of them died without her knowing that, he would never forgive himself.
After dinner, once he’d taken care of his duties for the day, Garrus took some time to do research. Humans seemed to have a number of thoughts regarding the concept of ‘love’, and it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise that he couldn’t get a clear cut answer regarding human culture and the transitions between stages in a relationship. Human culture seemed to have many more variations in general than turians had when it came to relationships.
From his experience watching human movies and TV shows, he got the picture that declarations of love were something of a big deal with a big romantic gesture required. And yet, what he found in human relationship advice columns seemed to contradict that.
Turians broke their relationships into fairly specific tiers. Just sleeping with someone wasn’t considered a big deal, particularly when there were no strings attached. That happened regularly and no one really thought anything of it. When a couple decided to start dating, it was usually with the clear understanding that they would like to feel out whether or not they would like to consider becoming bondmates.
When they decided to seriously consider making that commitment to one another, the next step was to begin introducing them to their families. It was the first step toward bringing your possible future bondmate into the clan, and it was considered a very important step for many traditionalists. Once they had gotten to know each other’s families and gotten their approval, couples were then clear to begin planning a bonding ceremony.
Humans seemed to have a similar tradition which they called a wedding, but from what he could tell, human ‘marriage’ seemed somewhat more ephemeral than a turian bond. While it was possible to legally break a bond, it wasn’t nearly as common as it seemed to be for humans, and was generally seen as shameful for an entire family. Therefore, it made sense why the turian traditions leading up to bonding ceremonies were considered fairly important.
Garrus wanted to laugh as he imagined introducing Jane, a human Spectre, to his very traditional father as his intended bondmate. Something told him his father would be less than thrilled to welcome her into the clan even if she was the most deserving person he knew. It hardly mattered, though, because Jane shouldn’t have to be subject to turian customs, and he wasn’t a very good turian, anyway.
He sighed heavily. Thinking about his father inevitably ensured his mind drifted to his mother. He checked the time, mentally making the conversion to the local time in Cipritine on Palavan. It was late, but there was a chance his sister would still be up. He’d promised to keep in touch, and had managed to do a piss poor job of it the past few months. As they sped closer and closer to the Omega 4 Relay, he owed it to her to make an effort for what might be the last time if everything went wrong.
Pulling up his contacts list, he pinged Solana. A moment later, a chat box opened.
22:08: G: Hey, glad I caught you.
22:10: S: Just about to head to bed. Late my time. Where are you?
22:10: G: Come on, you know I can't tell you that. Not a secure channel.
22:12: S: Oh, please, Garrus. You don't have to be all secretive. Illium?
Garrus chuckled as he typed his response. She never would let things be, always had to have her nose in. It had always irritated him when they were kids, now it just made him smile.
22:12: G: Give it up, Sol.
22:13: S: You're one to talk. Still playing at Spectre, even after all these years.
Garrus rolled his eyes, but hoped she would drop the topic. There was no reason to beat around the bush, he knew what she really wanted to talk about, he knew what he needed to ask about. Even so, it was hard to type the words.
22:16: G: How's Mom?
22:16: S: Last round of treatments didn't go so well.
22:16: G: Damn it.
22:17: S: We may try an offworld center. Some salarian doctors have something that might work.
22:17: S: It's not covered, though.
22:18: G: Of course not.
Garrus sighed again, heartache for his mother beating painfully in his chest. He tried so desperately not to think about her and her illness, it was part of the reason he avoided contacting his family these days. That and the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame. There had to be something he could do though, something to help, something to be less of a disappointment. He racked his brain for ideas, but his account was laughably bare.
Realization dawned like a blow to the head. Archangel’s accounts were not bare. He’d avoided thinking about the money he and his team had accumulated through their raids of the mercs and criminals. He refused to use it himself for personal gain and he’d tracked down what families he could find of his deceased teammates to disperse most of it. But a small portion remained, untouched. It wasn’t much, but what if he could actually do some good with it?
22:19: G: I can pay for the treatments.
22:19: S: That's a nice thought. I could really use you here, though.
22:20: G: I can't. How much for the first round?
22:20: S: Forget it.
22:21: G: I can pay.
22:24: S: Sure you can. You lose your C-Sec job, and what about that contract job you were doing up until recently?
22:24: G: Yeah. It ended badly.
22:25: S: So don't give me more garbage about how you're going to help.
22:25: S: You obviously can't help or won't bother.
22:25: S: Damn it, you haven't even bothered to sync up for video chat since you lost that damn job.
22:26: S: If you're ashamed to look me in the eye, then why are we even talking?
22:26: S: Go have your fun doing merc work or screwing around or whatever. Just don't act like you care.
Old feelings of inadequacy and new feelings of shame inundated his chest, making it feel tight and constricted. Her words washed over him, line by line, making him feel cold and awful. Finally, he responded.
22:30: G: You're right, Sol. I'm sorry.
There was a pause, and Garrus shut his eyes. He shouldn’t have shunted all this off on her, she didn’t deserve it. And yet, he couldn’t give her what she wanted. His place was here, following Shepard, alongside Jane, fighting the Reapers to the bitter end. That was the best thing he could do for his sister’s well being in the end. It was just hard to remember that when faced with her current painful reality. When he opened his eyes, Solana had finally responded.
22:32: S: No, I'm sorry. Things are rough with Mom. The salarians are expensive as hell.
22:33: G: I wish I could help.
And of course, he was going to try and help, however little he could. But he didn't really know what else to say. He doubted there was anything he could say to comfort her at the moment.
22:35: G: I'm going on a trip. Might be away from the relays for a while.
22:35: S : Another pleasure cruise?
22:36: G: You know me.
22:38: S : Send me something nice.
22:38: G: I'll be in touch when I can.
Garrus closed the chat program and frowned in thought. Whatever Solana said, he was determined to do something, anything to help her, to help mom. His fingers raced over the keyboard as he began his research, and quickly discovered the name of the salarian group. Helos Medical Institute had recently begun a trial test for a new treatment for Corpalis Syndrome, but the fees really were astronomical for new patients. He could see why neither Solana nor their father could afford it. Hell, even the chunk he still had in his Archangel accounts wasn’t enough. There had to be something…
It suddenly clicked, an idea forming when he saw mention of their association with the STG. Turning, Garrus left the main battery and made his way to the elevator, taking it up to the CIC. He tried not to notice the stark silence where there used to be a constant buzz and hum of conversation. He passed quickly into Mordin’s lab, where the doctor was typing quickly into his console.
“Mordin, do you have a minute?” The older salarian looked up, eyeing him quizzically.
“Certainly. Reviewing Collector data. Running some last minute tests. Waiting on results. Good timing. How can I help?” He turned from the console, a small, curious smile on his face.
“What can you tell me about the Helos Medical Institute?” Garrus asked as he took a few steps further into the room, coming to stand near the table in the center, across from Mordin. The salarian’s eyes narrowed as he brought a finger up to his lips in consideration.
“Helos… Ah! Yes. Medical research institute. Cutting edge research into numerous medical fields. Has occasionally worked alongside STG for a number of projects. Reputable. Trustworthy for quality research. Why do you ask?” Mordin asked, and Garrus shifted uncomfortably where he stood.
“I’m interested in one of their clinical trials, or rather, I’m interested in getting a family member into one of their trials. The fees are too much for us to afford, though.” He looked away at that, trying not to think about the embarrassed flush creeping up his neck, “I was hoping you might be able to help me get a foot in the door with them. Maybe help get me in contact with someone there who might be able to help.” Mordin seemed to think for a moment before he smiled and nodded.
“Of course. Believe I know just the person. Doctor Jelith Kieron. Very bright. Kind. Also, ambitious. Can use this. Will get a hold of my contacts in STG. See about working out deal with Helos. Remember they were looking to further study of Collectors. Will see about forwarding a tissue sample to… sweeten the pot.” Mordin blinked at him, his smile widening. Garrus realized his mandibles were hanging limply, and quickly retracted them back against his face.
“You would do that? Mordin, thank you so much. I would be so grateful.” He nearly stammered, completely unsure how to display his gratitude to the older salarian. Mordin shrugged, his face softening.
“Is no problem. Happy to help. Will apply pressure to reduce or remove study participation fees. Fees unethical. Duty to help circumvent.” He stated smugly, but after a moment, his face gained a look of concern. “Hate to pry, but might be pertinent. Which is study of interest?” Garrus hesitated, looking away as he answered quietly.
“Corpalis Syndrome.” Mordin’s eyes opened wider, surprise evident.
“Ah. Corpalis Syndrome… Ugly disease. Effects only turians. Severe neurological degeneration over time. Patient slowly loses physical capabilities and mental faculties. Left a shell of their former self. Very rare. No known cure. Fatal.” Mordin took an inhale, releasing it before adding, “My apologies and condolences.”
There was a sharp intake of breath from the vicinity of the door followed by a sudden crash, and Garrus whipped around to see Jane staring at him wide eyed, shock on her face. He felt himself freeze as their eyes locked, her gaze boring into him as she quickly blanched.
“Ah, Jane. Good to see you.” Mordin stated cheerfully, unaware of the anxiety seeming to grip the room’s newest occupant. He turned to face Garrus, “Will let you know when I hear from contacts in the STG. Will also prepare Collector tissue sample to send during refueling before final relay jump.”
Garrus tore his eyes away from Jane, who dropped to her knees and began picking up and repacking the tool box she’d dropped moments before with a curse.
“What? Oh. Thank you so much. I really appreciate the help.” He stated hurriedly before darting forward to help Jane. Once everything was picked up, they stood, Jane seeming unable to meet his eyes again. “I’ll, uh, see you later, Mordin.”
“My pleasure. Will be here if you need me.” Mordin turned back to his console, his fingers already dancing over the keys. Garrus turned back to Jane and gestured to the door, and they both quickly moved through into the empty CIC. Jane seemed to hesitate as she glanced at the elevator. He put his hand on her shoulder tentatively, causing her to look back at him with apprehension.
“Garrus, I-” She swallowed, her unease seeming to grow, “I didn’t mean to overhear… What you were discussing with Mordin. You-” Jane cut herself off, looking up into his eyes. He was shocked to see the level of distress there, anxiety prickling up his spine, “Corpalis Syndrome. Why… Why didn’t you tell me?” The question came out a hoarse whisper.
“What?” Garrus asked, confusion rising as he began to panic. He had, admittedly, not told her much about his family beyond a bit about his unhappy relationship with his father, but she was clearly upset now. Had he misstepped again somehow by not telling her about his mother and her illness? Was this another of those goddamn cultural barriers?
“Garrus,” Jane continued, concern in her voice as she stepped forward, lifting a hand up to brush his bandaged mandible lightly, “Are you well enough for this mission? I don’t want you putting yourself at further risk if you’re not well, I can’t-” She cut herself off as she took a step back, a hand coming up to run through her hair as she seemed to struggle for words.
Realization dawned, and Garrus reached up to grab her shoulder gently, causing her to look back up at him.
“ I don’t have Corpalis Syndrome, Jane.” He whispered, “My mother does. You don’t have to worry about me.” Her eyes slowly widened as the words seemed to sink in, the anxiety disappearing from her face as her shoulders seemed to loosen. She quickly put down the toolbox, stepping forward with a sudden urgency and Garrus wrapped his arms around her as she pulled him close.
“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry, Garrus. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions after hearing only part of the conversation. I just panicked.”
“It’s okay, completely understandable. Sorry I’ve never told you about my mom, there just didn’t seem a good time to bring it up. I try not to think about it, honestly.” He sighed and she squeezed a little tighter.
“Also understandable. I’m so sorry about your mom.” After a moment, she pulled away a little, her eyes downcast as she continued in a low voice, “Don’t know if I have ever been so happy to have misunderstood, though.” She let go of an amused huff before smiling, “Glad you’re not actually dying.” Garrus raised a brow plate at that.
“You do realize that pretty soon we’re going to make a jump through a relay that no one has ever returned from, straight into the center of the galaxy, full of black holes , to fight the Collectors, who probably outnumber us ten to one. You do realize this, right? We haven’t been calling this a ‘suicide mission’ for no reason.”
“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.” Jane retorted dryly as she rolled her eyes. After a moment, her smile disappeared as she met his eyes, “I kind of assumed if we were going to die, it’d be in some sort of blaze of glory. Going down, guns blazing, taking as many of the enemy with us as we could.” She took a deep breath, adding, “Losing you to a disease, that just wouldn't have felt fair, somehow.” He remembered, then, her story of how their parents had died during an epidemic when they were little. Kicking himself, it suddenly made sense why she’d had as big a reaction as she’d had just before.
“Death rarely feels fair to those left behind, I think.” He sighed again, lifting a hand up to stroke her cheek, and after a moment, she leaned into the touch, her eyes fluttering closed. “Jane, I-” Garrus paused, unsure for a moment how best to word his thoughts, “This mission… The thought of surviving, but coming back without you… ”
“I know.” She stated quickly, taking another deep breath as she repeated it again, this time slower, as she released her exhale, “ I know .” Her eyes opened slowly, green and vibrant, beautiful, and suddenly the image came to mind of the verdant life that had caught the breezes coming in over the water of the beaches he’d loved as a child.
Do it now , a voice in the back of his mind whispered, You’ve been looking for the right time, the right place. It’s now, here. Tell her.
“Honestly, I really don’t want to talk about the mission.” Jane muttered as she pulled back, and the three little words died on his tongue, his mouth snapping shut, “I’ve been trying desperately not to think about it, and we still have a day before we arrive.” She reached down to pick up the toolbox, turning to him with a crooked smile, “Actually, that’s why I came looking for you. I’m trying to keep myself busy and there’s some repairs I need to get done down in engineering. I could use a second pair of hands, if you’re looking for something to do.” Garrus smiled back at her, attempting to keep the bittersweet feeling off his face.
“Sure, anything you need.”
The trip down to engineering was quiet and companionable, but Garrus spent most of it kicking himself. He’d either managed to miss the perfect opportunity to tell her he loved her, or he’d wildly underestimated how difficult it was going to be. Possibly both.
“Sorry I cut you off earlier,” Jane finally murmured as the door opened and she led the way out of the elevator, “I’m really trying not to dwell too much on what we’re running into. But that was rude of me, before.” They passed through the first set of doors, “What was it that you’d been about to say?” His heart seized in his chest, his mouth opening, but no words coming out.
The doors into engineering opened, and they both froze. The room was empty, all except for a single couple standing just below the drive core. Neither Shepard nor Tali seemed to notice them, their attention wholly focused upon each other as they stood close together, gazing into each other’s eyes. Shepard clutched Tali’s hands intimately in the small space between their bodies, quietly speaking to her as he smiled softly. Garrus wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen such a tender expression on the Commander’s face, and it made him want to smile, too.
Shepard released one of Tali’s hands, his thumb coming up to carefully trace over the edge of one of the metal panels on the edge of her helmet, and she leaned into the touch even though she was incapable of feeling it. The scene was so similar to what had just played out minutes before between himself and Jane in the CIC that it made Garrus’ breath hitch.
He heard a small noise beside him, and he glanced at Jane to see her with her free hand pressed against her mouth, her eyes wide. After a moment, she took her hand away, revealing a huge smile as she gestured for him to follow her. Slowly, quietly, they backed up, leaving the other two to their privacy in the drive core.
As soon as the door closed, Jane pumped her fist in the air. She quickly put her toolbox down before throwing her arms around Garrus’ neck, causing him to stumble before he caught her.
“Whatever you said to him, thank you.” Jane whispered, and Garrus relaxed into her embrace. “He needed a little happiness in his life.”
In the end, it was Kasumi who spurred him into action. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say she dragged him, all but kicking and screaming. They were about ten hours away from the Omega 4 Relay when Kasumi cornered him in the empty mess hall.
“So,” Garrus jumped as he pulled his head out of the fridge, “Big romantic gestures. Declarations of love… Tough stuff.” He stiffened, closing the fridge with a snap as he whirled around to face her. Kasumi sat on the counter nearby, her foot twitching to a song only she could hear.
“Wh-what are you talking about?”
“Oh, just something a little birdy told me about.” She grinned as she looked away, and he felt his mandibles flick with irritation.
“Honestly, I don’t even want to know.” Garrus grumbled, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms. There really was no such thing as privacy on the Normandy. After a moment, he deflated a little, “I don’t even know where to start, all my research into human customs seemed to contradict itself.”
“Welcome to humans. We don’t make a whole lot of sense.” She grumbled with a shrug. “Look,” Kasumi leapt down from the counter, “Most of that crap you read online is bullshit. You don’t have to make some sort of big gesture. You could just tell her. I don’t know if this sort of thing is different for turians or something, but honestly, she probably already knows you love her. You’re overthinking this.”
Garrus felt his mandibles flick again as he looked away, embarrassment holding his tongue as he fumbled for how to respond.
“... Unless you’re trying to propose to her. You’re not trying to propose, are you?”
“Spirits, no , I-”
“Then you’re definitely over thinking it. That said…” She trailed off as she grinned, “I think you should totally do a big romantic gesture for her.” His eyes shot back to her in confusion and surprise.
“But you just said-”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But we’re about to throw ourselves into hell, you should do something nice for her.” The silent words ‘ just in case’ were unnecessary, but present nonetheless.
“Well, then what am I supposed to do, exactly? I read that chocolates and flowers are traditional romantic gifts for humans, but I can’t really get my hands on those at the moment. We’re going to be refueling before the final jump, but I don’t think that will be enough time to find those, and I don’t think Shepard planned on us taking any shore leave. And I wouldn’t have much time to actually give them to her before the jump at that point, anyway.” Garrus caught himself rambling, snapping his mouth shut as his hand came up to rub the back of his neck.
“All true. But there’s no reason why you can’t make those things for her here aboard the Normandy.”
“Make…?” Kasumi gestured around them to the kitchenette, and Garrus’ eyes popped. “ Oh . Oh, no, definitely not. I’m fairly certain I could burn water, and I’m pretty sure Shepard would skin us alive if we set the Normandy on fire right before the big mission.” Kasumi chuckled, but didn’t push the matter.
“Okay, fair point.”
“What am I supposed to do about flowers?” He ventured, and Kasumi grinned as she turned and started toward the port observation deck.
“I have an idea.” She gestured for him to follow, and he did. With trepidation.
They were about four hours away when Garrus found Jane in the Normandy’s cockpit. She sat on the ground, her toolbox open beside her as she fiddled with an open panel under one of the unused consoles.
“Oh good,” Joker stated, relief in his voice as he registered Garrus’ entrance, “Maybe you can convince her to go, she’s driving me nuts.” Jane twisted just enough to shoot a glare at Joker over her shoulder. EDI blinked at them from her pedestal on the other side of the cockpit.
“Jane has insisted on checking the calibrations of four different systems in the last two hours. I have attempted to reassure her that they are in perfect working order, but she does not appear to trust my judgment.” EDI stated, the barest hint of affront in her voice, and Garrus nodded his head slowly as he began to understand.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, EDI-” Jane started as she struggled to close a particularly hard to reach panel, but Joker cut her off.
“Just go sleep or something.” Joker slumped in his chair, clearly exasperated, “I’m tired of you making up issues just so that you have something to do.”
“I’m not-!”
“Ugggh.” Joker turned back to face him, “Garrus, do something. I have plenty to worry about without adding whatever this hot mess is.” He gestured over at Jane. There was an audible pop as the panel slotted back into its spot, and within moments, Jane was standing, dusting her pants off. She turned a cold glare in Joker’s direction.
“Stuff it, fly boy.” After a moment, the corner of her lips twisted up in a condescending smile, one eyebrow arching up in amusement. “Speaking of flies…” She looked down pointedly, and Joker’s eyes shot downward as he brought a hand up to cover his crotch. Quickly realizing the bluff, Joker groaned and removed his hand, causing Jane to laugh as she took a step in Garrus’ direction.
“Jane.” He nodded at her, she gave him a lazy salute.
“Hey, Big Guy. Were you looking for me? Or were you just looking to bother Joker, too?”
“Oh, you know how much I love being a general nuisance.” Garrus stated dryly, causing Joker to turn and shoot them a withering glare.
“Yeah, and you’re both particularly good at it.” He spat, and Jane laughed as she continued out of the cockpit, leaving the grumbling Joker behind her. Garrus caught up with her, but waited until they were out of earshot before venturing into conversation.
“So, did those panels need calibrating?”
“No, not really. I’m just trying to keep busy. EDI seems to have most systems in hand, though. It’s pretty impressive. But I hate waiting before missions like this.” She sighed, brushing the hair out of her face. Garrus took a deep breath, braced himself, and took her hand.
“Well, I have a little surprise for you, if you’re interested.” Jane slowed, glancing down at their oddly interwoven fingers before looking back up at him, a quizzical smile on her face.
“Of course I’m interested. Lead the way.” Without another word, they entered the elevator, and Garrus hit the button for the crew deck. As the machine slowly made its way down, he couldn’t stop the building anxiety and anticipation. Spirits, he hoped she didn’t think it was stupid…
The door opened, and they came face to face with a very nervous looking Tali. She seemed to startle as she noticed them, as if her mind had been elsewhere.
“Hey, Tali. What are you up to?” Jane asked, and Tali glanced away, wringing her hands anxiously.
“Oh, uh, well, I had something I wanted to talk to Shepard about.” She muttered quietly, seemingly unable to look either of them in the eye, “I was just heading upstairs to look for him.” A knowing grin spread across Jane’s face as her eyes narrowed.
“Ah. I see.” She stepped out of the elevator, Garrus followed, and then gestured to Tali to head in. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find him in his cabin,” Jane stated airly as Tali hurried into the vacated elevator. “And you guys can… talk. Or whatever.” She stated offhandedly. “Have fun!” She added cheerily as the doors began closing, waving to the clearly mortified quarian. Tali covered her faceplate with a hand as she looked away, muttering.
“Oh Keelah…” The doors closed between them, and Jane chuckled, mirth dancing in her eyes.
“For someone whose so happy about them getting together, you sure do seem to love torturing them.” Garrus said as he turned and started for the port observation deck, and Jane followed.
“I’m his sister . It’s my job to give him a hard time. And she’s pretty much my little sister at this point.” He just shook his head, coming to a stop before the door. Taking a deep breath, he turned to look at Jane, her grin slowly fading as she noticed his nerves. In the silence that slowly elongated between them, he suddenly realized his heart was hammering in his chest, resounding like cannons firing. He could feel the thrum of his pulse just beneath his plates, and he swallowed.
“I, uh…” He trailed off, adjusting the neck of his shirt as he suddenly felt far too warm, and Jane stepped closer, placing a hand lightly on his arm as she looked up at him.
“Hey, is something wrong?” She asked quietly, and Garrus felt a sudden calm wash over him as their eyes locked.
What was he so nervous about? This was Jane Shepard, his closest friend, the love of his life, a beauty that had, for some inexplicable reason, chosen him . And she had chosen him. Time and time again, she continued to choose to be with him. The past few months with her had been the best of his life, even with all the struggles and battles, ups and downs. She understood him like no one else ever had. He was more himself with her than anyone else in the world. She’d seen him for who he truly was, and yet still continued to choose him. He loved her, and deep down, he knew she loved him, too.
Garrus took another deep breath, shook his head, and smiled at her. Without another word, he palmed the door open and stepped out of the way, his eyes glued to Jane’s face. Her eyes widened as her mouth popped open, letting loose a soft gasp.
She took a hesitant step into the room, her eyes on the small table Kasumi had helped him set up just before the large window looking out over the stars. On it were two place settings already laid out with rations he’d heated up. They weren’t anything special, just their usual rations, but it was the best he could do. Beside each plate was a glass of wine, something they could both drink that he’d picked up on their last shore leave, and between the plates was a single, orange, glowing holocandle that Kasumi had helped him program. She’d also helped him pick out some old human music to play in the background, music she assured him was considered romantic. Jane took another step into the room, and Garrus followed her in, reaching for something special he’d stowed by the door.
“Garrus… What-” She turned, cutting herself off as turned to him, her eyes landing on the object in his hands. He held out the small, somewhat lopsided bouquet out to her, and she took it with a look of awe on her face. “Flowers?”
“Not really,” He chuckled, bringing a finger up to brush against one of the small, paper blossoms, “Kasumi called it ‘origami’, I think? Some sort of old human artform. She gave me some paper and taught me how to make these, though I’m not sure I’m very good at it. Took me ages to get it right and make even these few. I hope you like them, I didn’t really have a chance to do any shopping before we set out, so I threw together what I could with what I had. I hope you don’t mind the wine, it’s the best I could afford on a vigilante’s salary.”
He knew he was babbling, and forced himself to stop. Jane stared at him, seemingly unable to speak, then looked back down at the bouquet in her hands. She continued to say nothing, and he began to panic, “Look, I know I’m not really great at this romance thing, but I-”
“Garrus,” She interrupted, looking back up at him and taking a small step closer, “I… I don’t even know what to say. This is… Amazing.” Jane looked over at the table before bringing her eyes back to him. “No one has ever done anything like this for me before. No one has ever given me flowers before, paper or otherwise. They’re absolutely perfect.” It was his turn to look surprised.
“Wait, really? You’ve never been given flowers before? I was under the impression from my research that that was a fairly common human custom.” She raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.
“Well, I mean, I haven’t really found myself in many situations that warranted flowers before. How does my brother put it again? I’m a little ‘rough around the edges’.” Jane stated somewhat self-deprecatingly, but continued before Garrus could protest, “I’ve never had a boyfriend who was a gentleman before.”
“Well, you deserve so much more than this.” He stated firmly, and she grinned at him, her cheeks flushed pink with pleasure. She turned and moved toward the table, setting the flowers down carefully beside the plate that clearly contained levo rations. Garrus followed just behind her, his mind screaming at him - do it, do it, just say it, tell her. This is it. The perfect moment.
His hand came up to brush her arm, and she glanced back at him. Turning to face him, she took a step closer, bringing her hands up to rest on his chest as she leaned in closer. Garrus opened his mouth, his heart beating in his throat, but froze as she spoke.
“I love you, Garrus Vakarian.”
The words were spoken with a solemn joy and contentedness that made his pulse rush in his ears, a lightheaded feeling washing over him. He couldn’t help but laugh as a smile spread across his face, and he brought his forehead down to brush against hers as he hummed happily.
“I love you, too, Jane Shepard.” He replied quietly, and she leaned in to brush a kiss against his mouth plates. He kissed her back eagerly as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer. When they finally were forced to break apart for air, their hearts beating firmly in their chests, he muttered, “ Spirits , you’re beautiful. Absolutely perfect.”
“Flatterer.” She placed a quick, sweet kiss on his mandible as she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers venturing to lightly brush well known sensitive areas, caressing them lightly, teasingly. Growling even as he failed to subdue the grin on his face, Garrus felt his own hands beginning to wander. A talon found the zipper of her hoodie, tugging it down slowly, inch by inch.
Dinner lay forgotten as they lost themselves in gentle touches and muttered sweet nothings, affirmations both physical and verbal. The pace and desperation slowly escalated, and Garrus, finally tired of battling gravity, bent down to scoop Jane up into his arms.
“ Whoa , hey now, put me down!” Jane laughed as she clung to him, but Garrus couldn’t help himself. For a blissful few minutes, there was nothing else in the galaxy, just him and her. It was all he could do to prevent himself from spinning her around, so instead he hurried across the room and deposited her on the bed in the corner. She laughed as she landed with a small bounce, and he quickly joined her.
“So much for dinner.” Garrus chuckled as her fingers found his shirt’s fastenings, deftly undoing them.
“Is Kasumi going to mind lending us her bed?” She asked with a wolfish grin as she wrapped her legs around his waist, causing him to groan and finger her belt buckle.
“She gave me her blessing, and she’s nabbed someone else’s bed in the barracks.” He muttered as Jane pulled him closer and left a trail of kisses down his neck. It was becoming harder to focus. “Kasumi was the one who, uh, helped me set all this up.”
“I figured.” Jane leveled him with a knowing smirk and he rolled his eyes, unable to hide his now ever-present smile. Her smile softened and she reached a hand up to brush against his mandible. “I really appreciate all of this. Thank you.”
“Anything for you. You know that.” Just like that, his mind snapped back to reality, and he was firmly reminded of what they were hurtling toward. It was like the room suddenly dropped a couple of degrees, and he shivered as he averted his eyes. Jane’s hand came up to firmly return his gaze to her, her brows drawn in concern.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, and he sighed, rolling to the side to lay beside her. His hand came up to rub his eyes in frustration.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…” Garrus turned his head to look at her, and she rolled to face him, “I’m trying so hard not to think about what we’re about to throw ourselves into. It’s similar to the trip to Ilos, except so different. Last time was a race against time, but I don’t think it was nearly as risky.” He chuckled, shaking his head, “And I think it was easier back before I felt like I had something to lose.” Their eyes met, and he swore he could feel himself drowning in an emerald sea.
“We’ve done everything we could to prepare. We’re ready, and we’re going to hit them with everything we’ve got. We just have to have faith that it will be enough.” Garrus felt her grip his hand, bringing it up to rest against cheek. “We’ll have each other’s backs, just like usual. This isn’t any different. We’ve done this a hundred times.”
“I know. You’re right.” He took a deep breath, letting himself smile as he let his hand drift up to run through her hair gently. He pulled her closer, kissing her lightly before smiling, “Couldn’t imagine facing this with anyone else at my back.” He kissed her again, this time deeper and more fervently.
It might not be their last night together. But he was going to savor every moment of it, regardless. Just in case it was.
Notes:
I hope you're all having a wonderful holiday season! Thank you for all your support, I treasure every comment I receive. We're really coming down the home stretch, and I think Part 2 is due to finish posting in the first or second week of January. I can't believe how close we are, and how far we've come. Lots of excitement before us, folks! Super thanks to my wonderful beta reader, thelordofdarkreunion! See you all next week 🥰
Oh! And thanks to this story and the loving support from readers like you, I was able able to win NaNoWriMo on November 28th! Thank you for all your kind words of encouragement!
Chapter 48: Part 2: Chapter 23
Summary:
In which Garrus enters the lair of the beast.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 23
The Normandy SR2
“Okay, everyone. Refueling is done, next stop is the Omega 4 Relay.” Shepard’s voice echoed through the ship’s comm system, and Garrus quickly finished pulling his shirt on, “I want everyone suited up and in the CIC in ten minutes. We’ve got a crew to rescue.” Garrus looked at Jane where she was sitting on the edge of the bed putting on her boots. They’d had a blessed few hours of peace where he’d been able to avoid thinking about the impending relay jump, for the most part.
“Looks like reality’s come knocking.” Jane muttered as she stood, seeming to have read his mind. She moved toward him, placing a sweet kiss on his mandible before moving toward the table to begin gathering the dishes up. As soon as he was finished dressing, Garrus moved to help. Jane carefully picked up the small, paper bouquet, smiling at it. He felt his chest flutter with pride and happiness at her clear joy in them.
As soon as they’d dropped off the dishes in the mess hall, they made for the barracks where they joined the others in getting suited up. Jane carefully placed the bouquet among her belongings, her eyes lingering on it for a moment before she smiled at him.
Before they knew it, the entire ground team was assembled in the CIC, and Shepard stood before them, his face stoney as he surveyed them. The room was silent except for the creeping anxiety that seemed to have infected each and every one of them.
“Listen up. EDI may be able to handle most of the responsibilities day to day, but we need all hands on deck for the jump.” Shepard began, his voice reverberating around the large space, “We don’t know what they’re flying into, so I need all stations manned. Thane, Jacob, Samara, Mordin, I need you all here in the CIC, EDI will assign you where she thinks you will serve best. Zaeed, Grunt, Jack, I want you guys on standby, armed and ready in case we’re somehow boarded again. Tali, you will lead a team in engineering, including Kasumi, Jane, Garrus, and Legion.”
Tali and Legion glanced at each other in unison before looking back at Shepard, nodding in understanding. Garrus had heard about their run-in the day before, but it seemed as though the Commander had managed to smooth things over between the two.
“Miranda and I will be overseeing everything from the cockpit with Joker.” Shepard took a deep breath, gathering himself before he continued, “This is it, guys. It’s finally time to bring the fight to the Collectors. I won't pretend that I like going into this nearly blind. But I do like one thing- That I have a team who can handle it.” Shepard’s smile was grim but proud, and there was a chorus of agreements around them. With that, they dispersed, and Garrus joined the team heading down to engineering.
The elevator ride was a quiet one, each person caught up in their own musings. But as soon as they stepped foot into engineering, Tali began giving out directions. They each moved into position accordingly, and Garrus couldn’t help but smile at how far Tali really had come since they’d first found her on the Citadel those years ago.
Sooner than he’d anticipated, he heard Joker’s voice through the comm system, “ Approaching Omega 4 Relay. Everyone stand by .” Garrus looked up from the weapon resources allocation display, and his eyes met Jane’s across the room where she was stationed at another console. They nodded to each other, and Garrus tried to convey some of the sentiments they’d shared with each other just hours before. He hoped she understood. He hoped he looked more confident than he felt.
“Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged.” EDI stated, and everyone’s attention was back on their consoles in an instant. All of a sudden, it became obvious that something wasn’t right. Power levels spiked and alarms went off at more than one station. Tali and Kasumi took a few steps back from the drive core as it began vibrating with an intense energy Garrus had never seen before. “Drive core electrical charge at critical levels. ”
Moments later, it glowed bright orange, and Garrus felt the familiar tug of a mass relay.
As they filed into the comm room, Garrus noted with some small relief that his were not the only legs that seemed shaky after their fight through the debris field and crash landing on the Collector base. By some miracle, they’d made it. Shepard and his team had fought off whatever had breached the hull, and the Thanix Cannon’s debut performance had gone perfectly. Garrus felt more than a little proud, but it was hard to focus on that with what loomed ahead.
As Shepard entered the room, the entire team holstered their weapons and stood a little taller. He slowly made his way to the head of the table, his expression focused and thoughtful.
“This isn’t how we planned this mission, but this is where we’re at.” He started, bringing his hands to rest on the table before him, “We can’t worry about whether the Normandy can get us home. We came to stop the Collectors, and that means coming up with a plan to take out this station.”
The discussion quickly began, team members pitching in thoughts and observations. There appeared to be some sort of central chamber, and it was generally agreed upon that the kidnapped crew members would most likely be there.
“Looks like there are two main routes. Might be a good idea to split up to keep the Collectors off balance, then regroup in the central chamber.” Jacob suggested as he used his omni-tool to highlight the routes on the main holo map above the table.
“No good.” Miranda replied tersely, “Both routes are blocked. See these doors?” Miranda, too, used her omni-tool to draw their attention to something specific on the map, “The only way past is to get someone to open them from the other side.”
“It’s not a fortress,” Shepard mused, leaning one forearm onto the table as he examined the map before him, “There’s got to be something.” He narrowed his eyes, and a moment later he inhaled sharply, “Here. Maybe we can send someone in through this ventilation shaft.”
There were murmurs of agreement, and Garrus could hear Jane chuckle where she stood nearby. She leaned in toward Zaeed to whisper something, and the older man smirked and rolled his eyes. Garrus vaguely remembered a story Jane had told him once about her experiences with navigating ventilation shafts on Omega.
“Practically a suicide mission.” Jacob’s overly cavalier voice interrupted Garrus’ thoughts, “I volunteer.”
“I appreciate the thought, Jacob,” Miranda interjected, shaking her head, “But you couldn’t shut down the security systems in time.” She turned to face Shepard, “We need to send a tech expert.”
“It’s your call, Commander. Who do we send into the shaft?” Jacob asked, and Shepard’s eyes slowly shifted from person to person as he considered the options. It would be a dangerous task, and it was apparent that it wasn’t a decision he wanted to make lightly.
Garrus quickly began running through the options. Tali, obviously, was the most experienced technical expert, but she lacked physical prowess and stealth training that would be necessary to make it through the shaft unnoticed by the enemy. Kasumi came to mind, she possessed both stealth training and technical ability, but-
“Send me.” Jane’s words cut through the silence, and all eyes fell on where she stood, her arms crossed and her face set. Garrus felt his chest clench painfully.
“Why?” Shepard replied instantly, his sharp voice betraying his distaste for the idea.
“I’m clearly the most qualified. I possess the necessary skills, and I’m the one most capable of defending myself should I meet with opposition before I’m able to open the doors.” Jane explained evenly, her voice ringing with self assured confidence. After a moment, she glanced at Kasumi and Tali, “No offense guys.”
“None taken.” Kasumi grinned, “Ventilation shafts have never been my favorite.” Shepard seemed about to argue, but the siblings’ eyes met, and they seemed to wage a silent war of attrition as the others watched on.
“Fine.” He finally snapped, begrudgingly convinced, and Jane nodded. Garrus bit down the disappointment that they wouldn’t be facing this battle side by side.
“I won’t let you down, John.”
“The rest of us will break into two teams and fight down each passage. That should draw the Collectors’ attention away from what Jane’s doing.” He continued, his voice grim as though he was personally prepared to insure she went unnoticed. Garrus was well acquainted with Shepard’s fighting tactics, and ‘attention drawing’ was definitely a word he would use to describe them. Loud explosions and biotic light shows were regular tools in his arsenal.
“I’ll lead the second fire team, Shepard.” Miranda spoke up immediately, “We’ll meet up with you on the other side of the doors.”
“Not so fast, Cheerleader.” Jack called out from across the room as she pulled herself up off her forearms, pushing away from the table, “Nobody wants to take orders from you .” She sneered, and Garrus had to admit, she had a point. He had nothing against Miranda, personally, but despite technically being the ship’s XO, she hadn’t really done anything yet to command the respect of the crew beyond being a good soldier. She had started coming out of her shell somewhat during the last few weeks, particularly during the crew’s social get togethers. But it seemed as though most of her actual duties centered around being the go-between for them and Cerberus. Given most people’s feelings about Cerberus lately, even the human crew, that probably didn’t endear her to many.
“This isn’t a popularity contest. Lives are at stake.” Miranda rolled her eyes as she looked to the Commander, “Shepard, you need someone who can command loyalty through experience.”
This decision didn’t appear to need nearly as much consideration, because a heartbeat later, Shepard turned to face Garrus. He felt his trepidation rising at the words he somehow knew were about to come out of the other man’s mouth.
“Garrus. You’re in charge of the second team.” The words were spoken with a confidence that humbled Garrus, as though he were the only logical answer. While Shepard’s faith in him was something to feel proud about, he mostly felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach.
Clearly, Shepard had forgotten what happened the last time Garrus had been in command of a team. He hadn’t, though, and for the first time in a long while, he felt the sting of ten pairs of eyes drilling holes into the back of his head. Garrus forced his face to remain an emotionless mask as he nodded, yet unable to form words. He prepared, bracing himself for the inevitable cries of displeasure from around him.
“Well, at least he knows what he’s doing.” Miranda stated as she shrugged, stepping back slightly from the table. To Garrus’ surprise, he heard a number of murmured agreements and saw nodding heads as he glanced around the room.
“I don’t know what we’re going to find in there, but I won’t lie to you.” Shepard began, forcing Garrus’ mind back on task. “It’s not going to be easy. We’ve lost good people. We may lose more.” The weight of his words caused the room to sober, many with eyes downcast. Shepard shifted his weight, bringing his hands to clasp behind his back, “We don’t know how many the Collectors have stolen - thousands, hundreds of thousands. It’s not important.
“What matters is this-” Shepard’s hand came down with each of his next words as emphasis, “ Not one more . That’s what we can do, here, today. It ends with us.” It had been a while since Garrus had heard one of Shepard’s truly impassioned speeches and Garrus felt it stir something in him, as he knew it did for most people. Shepard was a born leader, he had the ability to bring a ragtag group together into a tight knit, cohesive unit, and then motivate them until they felt like they could take on the world. And they usually could.
Shepard’s finger suddenly darted forward as he gestured toward the map of the Collector base displayed before them, “They want to know what we’re made of? I say we show them, on our terms.” He jabbed his thumb back toward himself before finally settling back. He brought his fist crashing into his open palm as he smiled with determination, his brows knitting, “Let’s bring our people home.”
With that, nearly everyone let loose an energized cheer, some thrusting fists in the air and others simply smiling as they nodded their heads in agreement. Once they’d quieted down, Shepard began breaking them into their groups.
“Okay, I want Samra, Legion, Jack, Mordin, and Zaeed over here on this side with Garrus.” Shepard barked as he pointed to one side of the room, and as they began sorting themselves, he continued, “That leaves Miranda, Tali, Kasumi, Thane, Jacob, Grunt, and Jane on this side. You guys will be coming with me. Jane, you will stay with us until you separate to enter the ventilation shaft. Kasumi, I want you ready in case something goes wrong.”
“Understood.” Both women nodded at him before turning to grin at each other.
“Any questions?” Shepard asked, and after fielding a few minor ones, it appeared as though they were as ready as they ever would be. The teams started for the door, but Garrus let the others pass him by as his eyes landed on one person in particular. Catching Jane’s arm, he pulled her aside as the last few people trickled through the exit.
“Jane, promise me you’ll be careful.” Garrus murmured as he pulled her into an embrace, their armor clacking together solidly as they wrapped their arms around each other.
“Of course I will. I can’t promise I won’t take any risks, not given how important this mission is, but I’ll do my best.” They pulled apart slightly, their faces only millimeters apart as they savored what might be their last few moments together. “You take care, too.”
“I don’t like being separated, I can’t watch your six like this.” He growled without any real anger, just frustration at a situation far outside his own control.
“I know,” Jane nodded, “But I’ll get that door open for you. We’ll see each other soon.” She promised before reaching up to press a slow, lingering kiss to his mouth plates. In a way, the kiss itself felt like a promise.
“See you soon.” Garrus replied before releasing her reluctantly. They followed after the others, one last look passing between them before he turned to lead his team toward the airlock. One by one, they disembarked the Normandy, jumping down to land upon the hard ground. Like the Collector ship, it seemed oddly as though they were walking upon a rocky surface, but he couldn’t help but wonder how that could possibly be. Metal and stone seemed seamlessly integrated in a way that bent and confused the eye, in a way that seemed unnatural and disturbing.
Garrus directed his team alongside the Normandy until they reached a safe passage down toward the secondary entrance to the base, the one leading toward the route they would be traversing. As they started their descent, he chanced a glance up toward the Normandy, watching as the other team began disembarking as well. Just before turning back to focus on his footing, Garrus watched Jane jump down from the airlock. He tried not to wonder if it would be the last time he’d see her.
“Okay, let’s get ready.” He turned, pitching his voice to carry to each of his team members as they took up positions, “We’ll hold until Shepard’s team is ready. When we get the signal, we need to make as big a splash as possible, draw as much attention off them as we can.” There was a chorus of affirmative replies and mechanical sounds as they checked their weapons and equipment. Just behind them stood the broken and battered Normandy, silhouetted by the intense light bending around the center of the galaxy.
Garrus took a moment to scan his team. It was a good combination of people, well balanced and focused. Okay, so he originally wouldn’t have counted Jack amongst those he would like to have under his command, but she’d come a long way in the months since he’d met her.
Honestly, what surprised him was that they’d been so willing to follow his command. None of them had argued, none of them had given him any reason to doubt their commitment or loyalty. He hadn’t even gotten a sarcastic eye roll from Jack, which he was pretty sure was at least fifty percent of her vocabulary.
“I appreciate the respect and professionalism you’ve all brought to this mission.” Garrus finally stated soberly to his team, “I know it can’t be easy having one of your own placed above you, even temporarily, but I promise to lead to the best of my ability.”
Samara smiled at him softly in a way that reminded him oddly of his mother, even given the vast differences between their facial features. “You are more than qualified to be given this command.” Garrus blinked at her sudden praise.
“I’m just happy you’re not the fucking cheerleader. Anything’s better than that Cerberus bitch.” Jack grumbled, shrugging as she checked over her pistol.
“Archangel’s team accomplished extraordinary feats on Omega.” Mordin chimed in a moment later, his voice as matter-of-fact as always, “No qualms serving under qualified leader.”
“ Shepard-Commander has faith in your ability. This is enough for us.” Legion added, causing Zaeed to nod as well. Garrus felt all the weight of their approval, both the gratitude and the fear of letting them down settling upon his shoulders.
“Thank you, everyone, I-”
“ I’m inside the ventilation shaft. ” Jane’s update over the comm system interrupted whatever he’d been about to say. “ It’s fairly hot, definitely not comfortable, but it seems clear. Should be pretty easy.”
“ Second team, are you in position?” Shepard asked, and Garrus’s eyes scanned over them one last time with a slow nod of his head.
“In position.” He replied through his comm, “Meet you on the other side of those doors.” Garrus nodded to his team as he hefted his rifle. “Okay team, time to make an impression.”
“Fuck yeah!” Jack thrust her fist in the air, and he couldn’t help but smile at her exuberance. Turning, he led the way through the entrance into a large, dimly lit corridor, booted feet trudging after him.
Occasionally, light filtered in from above to illuminate their way, but more often than not, they picked their way across the uneven floor to the light of eerie, glowing panels in the walls that looked almost like insect webbing. The organic quality of the corridor almost made it appear as though it was a tunnel deep within the ground, adding to the general claustrophobic atmosphere.
Carefully, they picked their way through the corridors until it opened up into a large, foggy room, the ceiling of which disappeared far above their heads, columns stretching up into a blue haze. Garrus quickly ducked behind cover as he noticed movement ahead. Peeking out, he registered a small group of Collectors working at consoles nearby.
He gestured to Jack, who nodded and crept closer. She darted into position, and he waited a moment before signaling her. Standing suddenly, Jack released a vicious roar as she brought her fist up, glowing with crackling biotic energy. A shockwave smashed into the Collectors, sending a number of them flying backwards.
The rest of the team opened fire immediately, taking out a few before they could even register they were under attack. Their confidence was short-lived, however, as a nearby door opened and another wave of Collectors stormed in. Garrus continued to direct the team as they shifted positions to go on the defensive. He found that the old habits of command seemed to drift up to the surface of their own accord, almost like an old childhood skill left dormant, but never truly forgotten. Maybe Shepard’s faith wasn’t entirely misplaced afterall. It was too soon to say.
They finally began pushing the Collector forces back, one position at a time, gaining ground as they fought around the edge of the room toward the corridor they needed to follow. As they finally made it to the mouth of the corridor and took up positions, Garrus decided to check in with Shepard.
“Garrus here. We’re taking heavy fire, but we’re moving forward.”
“ Good to hear. Keep me updated as you continue. We’ve just engaged with the enemy, but it looks like you’ve managed to draw a number of them your way. Keep your eyes open and wits sharp.”
“Roger that.” Garrus’ smile was grim as he returned his focus back to the sights of his rifle. The more enemies they attracted, the less Shepard and Jane would need to worry about. He could live with that.
“ There’s some sort of gate blocking my path up ahead. I think you’re going to need to find some controls, John.” Jane’s voice came over the comm, making him pause. “ Ah! Whatever that was, it did the trick. Looks like I’m clear to continue on.”
“Shit, it’s more of the flying ones.” Zaeed growled as they entered another room that opened up onto a chasm, “I hate the flying ones, hard to pretend they’re not gigantic bugs.” He tossed a grenade and everyone ducked as it went off with a loud explosion. “At least they burn as easily as bugs.”
“ Another one of those gates. Going to need a hand again, John.” Jane continued to make her way through the shaft, occasionally requiring assistance from the other team. Garrus would be lying if he said that it wasn’t reassuring to get to hear her voice through the comm. Knowing she was going to be there to get them through the door was good motivation, too.
Garrus pushed his team as they continued to fight their way forward, taking advantage of lulls to hurry through the corridors as they neared their goal.
“Garrus here. We’re making good progress. Meet you at the rendezvous.”
“ Good. We’ll be there.” Came Shepard’s terse reply, and he could hear the faint sound of gunfire in the background.
“Shame we lack time for scans. Speed necessary. But would love to deepen understanding.” Mordin mused as he loaded a new heat sink into his pistol as they ran. “Collectors genetic descendants of Protheans. Much to be studied.”
“They are an abomination. Even if the code did not demand their deaths for the atrocities they have committed, it would still be considered mercy to kill them.” Samara stated firmly as she used a biotic attack to smash a Collector against the wall with a sickening crack.
“ Damn it, there’s another gate up ahead. You’re going to need to find another valve somewhere, John. Getting hotter in here.” Jane muttered urgently, and Garrus could hear the strain in her voice.
“Come on guys, focus. We need to press forward.” He told his team, and pressed the enemy even harder. With each shot of his sniper rifle, another Collector fell with a hole through the head, the mantra playing through his mind - We’ve got to get there in time. We’ve got to get there in time - He knew their speed in no way affected the ease of Jane’s task, but he sure as hell was going to be there when she needed him.
“ Perfect, there it goes. Heading through the gate now.”
As they rounded the next turn, Garrus could make out a giant metal door at the end of the corridor and felt a moment of elation. That had to be it. They quickly took down the few Collectors guarding the door before he directed the team to take up defensive positions.
“ Should be getting close to the end,” Jane stated, “ You’re going to need to find the controls for the final gate, John. ”
“She’s going to have this door open any minute now, we need to hold this position until then.” Garrus barked at his team as they held off a renewed onslaught by the Collectors that had been hot on their heels.
That was when he began to hear a dull, far off sound that barely registered at first, but slowly grew in his awareness as anxiety prickled in his belly. The droning vibration began to grow in pitch and volume until he suddenly registered what it was.
“Seeker swarms incoming!”
“Counter measure helps prevent detection.” Mordin began as the swarms turned the corner and began rushing toward them, a cloud of vibrating, furious insects that made Garrus’ jaw clench, “Not as effective against these numbers.”
“Craaaaap.” Jack growled as she brought up her hands and sent a wave of energy crashing toward them, knocking the seekers back but failing to completely deter them. Samara did the same moments later, but the swarms continued to press down toward them at an alarming rate.
A loud grating sound rent the air and there was a whoosh of air just behind him. Garrus felt a rush of relief seep through him as he realized what it was. He fired off a few rounds before turning and darting through the open doors.
“Look out, seeker swarms!” He warned Jane as he covered the rest of the crew hurrying through the doors. She nodded, watching as each person cleared the door before returning her focus back to the controls in an attempt to get the door shut again. Samara let loose another wave of biotic energy, keeping the swarms from passing through into the room, and they did their best to keep any Collectors from getting close.
“ We’re in position.” Shepard said through the comm, the distinct sound of heavy gun fire in the background, “ We need this door open now!” Garrus glanced over at Jane who was cursing under her breath as she struggled with bypassing the security protocols. Hurrying over to her, he shoved her in the direction of the other doors.
“Go, get the other doors open, I’ll cover you.” He told her firmly, and Jane didn’t waste any time as she ducked and ran across to the other set of controls. Garrus kept himself between her and the open door, his rifle raised along with the solid belief that nothing was going to hurt her unless it was climbing over his dead body first.
The moments dragged on, and eventually he chanced a glance back to see Jane’s fingers moving across the keys frantically.
“Shit, shit, shit- Something’s wrong!” She yelled back at him, “It won’t budge! I can’t-” She devolved into a string of profanities as her fingers seemed to pick up their pace.
There was a sudden clunk of something large and mechanical falling into place, and the doors snapped open a moment later as she cried, “Got it!”
Shepard’s team quickly backed into the room, their guns blazing as they held back a wave of Collectors, including one crackling with glowing light that seemed hellbent on following them through the doors.
“Here they come!” Shepard barked as he fired off a biotic wave, “Fall back!” He ordered, and Garrus directed his team to take up a defensive position, and they hurried to obey.
“Suppressing fire! Don’t let anyone through that door!” He yelled over the sound of gunfire and biotic explosions, the unintelligible chittering sounds of dying Collectors barely audible over the din.
The doors seemed to jerk suddenly, and moments later both sets closed in unison. The sudden silence was deafening, and the entire team slowly seemed to register the victory at once. Multiple people sank to the ground, nursing wounds and catching their breath. More than one congratulations were offered as they each acknowledged those they’d fought alongside, a fight well fought.
“Good job, Jane. I knew I could trust you to get the job done.” Shepard panted as he came to place a hand on Jane’s shoulder. He shakily helped her to her feet before pulling her into a tight hug. As they pulled away, Shepard’s lip curled in amused disdain, “Ugh, I really hope that’s water or sweat, and not… something else.”
Garrus got his first good look at Jane and realized she looked nearly soaked, not unlike when she’d taken her helmet off on Haestrom. She brought a hand up to wipe across her face, her hair sticking together in damp clumps as a trickle of sweat dripped down her cheek. He honestly didn’t care, just the sight of her alive was a beautiful thing.
“I told you it was hot in there! Don’t give me that look! I knew I should have let Kasumi or Tali handle it, now I probably smell gross.” Jane grumbled as she brushed strands of hair out of her face.
“No, that’s okay.” Tali laughed as she pulled up her omni-tool to apply medi-gel to a minor wound on Jacob’s shoulder.
“Yeah, we were happy to let you take one for the team.” Kasumi added as she chuckled, and Jane rolled her eyes.
“How’s everyone holding up? Any major injuries?” Shepard turned to scan the occupants of the room, seeming to do a quick headcount. Garrus looked around as well, noticing only minor issues, all of which were quickly being handled. Just as importantly, everyone gazed back with steadfast, determined expressions that told him they were ready for whatever was to come. “Well done, everyone. I’m proud of each of you, I knew we could make it this far.” He clapped Jane on the shoulder before nodding in Garrus’ direction.
Garrus felt the warmth of pride bloom in his chest at the acknowledgment of the other man. He’d had doubts about his own ability to handle the command given him, but it’d worked out so far. Maybe he hadn’t been a hare-brained choice afterall. Maybe.
“Shepard.” Miranda’s voice echoed across the room, and everyone turned to see where she stood, gazing into the next room. “You need to see this.” Shepard made his way over to her, slowly followed by the rest of the team.
“Holy… shit. ” Jack whispered, and Garrus suspected most of the team had similar thoughts. The room was absolutely gigantic, the far wall being so far away that it disappeared into a dull orange haze, adding to the incalculable scope of the space. Large rock formations reached up from the depths like huge teeth, giving the sensation of being about to be eaten. In contrast to the rocky, organic structures, were the many cold, metal pipes reaching from the walls up to the ceiling, their purpose a complete mystery.
The walls seemed to be lined with small, bright windows, but as they all took a few steps closer to the nearest ones, Garrus quickly recognized them as the stasis pods used to kidnap the colonists.
“Looks like one of the missing colonists.” Miranda confirmed his suspicions as she stepped closer, peering into one hesitantly. Garrus registered a low sound that made his plates crawl, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it could be. It was vaguely organic sounding, almost like the flow of thick, viscous liquid.
Shepard took a step closer, bringing a hand up to feel the clear casing on the front of one pod, and Samara called out to draw attention to other pods filled with people nearby. The sound seemed to be getting louder, and suddenly there was a burst of steam from beside the pod, and Shepard gasped.
“My god! She’s still alive!” Garrus stepped closer to see the woman thrashing about inside the pod, banging on the window in an attempt to get out. The sound of gushing liquid intensified as steam began billowing out of the pods one by one, screams emanating from each as fists pounded and nails clawed. They watched in horror as the first colonist seemed to melt - there was no better word for it - streaks of red blood left behind as her fingers fought for purchase. “Get them out of there! Hurry!”
Quickly, the entire team burst into a flurry of activity, fists and the butts of guns colliding hard with the pods in a frantic attempt to free the remaining survivors. Samara was the first to discover the hidden latch that would open the pod’s doors, each sliding open with a hiss and a horrible sucking sound. One by one, they started pulling shocked and horrified looking humans from the pods, and with surprise Garrus realized most, if not all, were dressed in familiar uniforms.
He knew these faces, knew these people. It was the Normandy’s stolen crew.
As the last pod within their reach was opened and the last human pulled to safety, they finally began to slow their frenzied movements. They began helping the gasping, weak crew to their feet, and though Garrus didn’t have a moment to count them, he was pretty sure they were close to being all accounted for.
“Doctor Chakwas? Are you okay?” Shepard asked as he carefully took the dazed looking woman from Miranda’s arms, lowering her down to the ground.
“Shepard?” Chakwas blinked up at him in confused astonishment, “You… you came for us.” It was as though she couldn’t process what she was seeing. Shepard smiled as he gently offered her a hand. She took it, and he pulled her to her feet.
“No one gets left behind.”
“I knew you weren’t going to forget about us.” Jenkins choked back a sob as Jane helped him to his feet, throwing an arm around his shoulders as he shivered, his eyes shimmering as he seemed to stare off at nothing.
“Of course we wouldn’t forget about you.” She murmured gently as he brought a hand up to scrub at his face.
Shepard quickly moved from person to person, checking in with them and ensuring they were alright. Soon, they began to discuss what had really been happening to the colonists that had been brought here.
Garrus shivered as he glanced up at the pipes leading up into the room above. The thought of being melted down, liquified- well, it didn’t need thinking about. Not now. The crew was safe, at least. From the sound of it, though, they were going to need to get up into that room above to figure out what the… liquid… was being used for.
“ The route is blocked by a security door, but there’s another chamber that runs parallel to the one you’re in. ” Joker explained as he examined the ship scans. EDI chimed in a moment later.
“ I cannot recommend that. Thermal emissions suggest the chamber is overrun with seeker swarms. Mordin’s countermeasure cannot protect you against so many at once.” She explained, and Garrus remembered their own experience just minutes before.
“Conventional weapons are pretty much useless.” Shepard sighed as he stared up at the pipes above. He turned back to face the team, adding, “They’ll tear us apart.”
“Maybe not.” Samara spoke up, and everyone turned to look at her curiously, “I may be able to generate a biotic field to keep them at bay. I won’t be able to protect all of us, but I may be able to get a small team through.”
Huh. Garrus felt his brow plates knit as he considered it. He wondered if any colonists had tried protecting themselves against the seeker swarms with their biotics. He imagined it would be hard to keep a biotic barrier up for long periods of time, but both Samara and Jack had used their biotics to push the swarms away from them just before. So it was possible it would work.
There was some discussion as to which biotic would be the one to safely escort Shepard and a small team through the seeker swarm, but in the end, he selected Samara.
“Jack will come with us as backup, and Grunt, you and me, we’ll keep the Collectors off them.” Shepard turned to nod at each in turn. The krogan grinned as he punched his fists together.
“It will be a fight to remember.” He muttered with anticipation in a way only a krogan could.
“The rest of you provide a diversion by going through the main passage. We’ll open the security doors from the other side and meet you there.” Shepard stated before turning to Garrus, who felt himself stiffen. “Garrus. You’ll lead the diversion group.”
Taking a moment to steel himself, he nodded. “We’ll keep the defenders busy. You slip around the back.” He felt a sudden pressure on his arm, and he turned to see Jane beside him, an encouraging smile on her face. At least they were going into this one side by side.
“What about me and the rest of the crew, Shepard?” Came the small, shaky voice of Doctor Chakwas, and the ground team turned to face her and the others, “We’re in no shape to fight.” And she was right. They were all weak and shaky after being trapped in the stasis pods for as long as they had been, and some of them nursed crusty, painful looking wounds from their initial abduction.
“ Commander?” Joker interjected over the comm, “ We have enough systems back online to do a pick up, but we’d need to land back from your position.” Shepard seemed to consider his options, glancing back the way they came and the large doors they’d just fought through. Miranda noticed his indecision, taking a half step toward him.
“We can’t afford to go back, Shepard.” She insisted, gesturing up toward the pipes above, “Not now.” He looked at her, then to the crew, and shook his head.
“You’ll never make it without help, I’ll send someone with you.” His eyes scanned each of his ground team, and when he finally paused, Garrus was surprised to see who he’d landed on.
“Tali-”
“No.” Came the quarian’s sudden, hard reply, her eyes narrowing. “No, I’m not leaving you. Not after everything. I can’t-”
“ Tali. ” Shapard snapped, his expression caught between pain and anger, “Don’t argue with me.”
“Shepard! You can’t just send me away, I should be here fighting alongside you, at your side, I’m not going to-”
“Please,” Shepard’s voice became a quiet entreaty, desperate and heartfelt, “Please do this for me. I need to know that you’re safe, and I need to know the crew is in good hands.” He stepped toward her, bringing up his hands to rest upon her shoulders, “And then when you get back to the Normandy, you’re the best person to get it back into working order as fast as possible.”
She stared up at him, her eyes seeming to shine brighter than usual. Her shoulders finally slumped as she looked downward with a heavy sigh.
“Okay.” She whispered, her helmet falling forward to bump against Shepard’s chest. “I don’t like it, but if that’s where you think I’ll serve best, then I understand.” Her words were leaden and defeated, heartbreaking. Shepard’s arms wrapped around her as he pulled her close to him, and she melted into his embrace, her arms coming up to grip him tightly.
“Thank you.” He muttered before pulling back, his hand lingering in hers for a moment before they both let go reluctantly. Turning, Tali’s shoulders seemed to square as she stood taller.
“Joker,” She pulled up her omni-tool, typing in a few commands, “Send me the location of the landing zone. We’ll meet you there.” Her voice was hard and determined, not a trace of the distress from moments before.
“Be careful.” Shepard stated, and Tali looked back at him before nodding.
“You, too. Please come back.”
“I will.” After a pause, he turned back to look up at the horrific pipes above. He continued, “We’ve all got our assignments. Let’s move out!”
Notes:
I hope you're all having a great holiday season! I've begun writing part 3, and super excited to share the conclusion of part 2 with you all over the next few weeks. Luckily, my next update falls on Christmas Day, so I'll have quite a gift for you all that day. I'm watching the kudos tick closer and closer to 300, thank you all for making this milestone possible! I always love to hearing from you all, please feel free to leave a comment with any thoughts (big or small), critiques, or observations. Thank you all, until next week 🥰
Chapter 49: Part 2: Chapter 24
Summary:
In which Garrus shoots a nightmare in the eye.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 24
The Collector Base
Not long after Shepard’s team left toward the side passage, it slowly became obvious to Garrus that something was wrong. Shepard had given him the direction to get into position and wait for his signal before progressing further, which they’d done easily enough. However, he’d radioed Shepard to tell him they were ready, and all he’d gotten in return was some staticy, garbled nonsense. Something about the seeker swarms must have been interfering with their comms. After some internal debate, he eventually decided to move ahead with the plan and hope for the best.
“Okay, team. Time to push forward. We’re going to trust that Shepard will get the doors open, and we’ll provide the distraction they need to make it through safely.” No one argued as they double checked their weapons and they began making their way through the corridor.
“You know,” Jane whispered as she came up alongside him, checking her heatsink, “I like hearing you in command.” She looked up at him with a lopsided grin and a wink before picking up her pace, and he couldn’t help but chuckle in surprised amusement, a pleased flush creeping up his neck.
As they continued on, Garrus immediately noticed a shift in the architecture, and it actually did seem like ‘architecture’ at this point. No longer was the corridor made of the rough stone-like material. Instead, everything seemed to be made of a greenish metal. Everything had a strict, angular look, making it feel cold and inhospitable. The floor seemed to be made up of huge, hexagonal tiles that interlocked poorly, some sitting far higher than others, often necessitating that they jump or climb as they made their way through.
With no warning, the wall would occasionally open up to expose wide vistas overlooking dark, seemingly bottomless caverns lit only by clusters of tiny, irregularly sized oval windows emitting bright white light. It was as if there was no true rhyme or reason to the place, as though it had been pieced together haphazardly from the dregs and remains of other civilizations.
Garrus blinked and shook his head, forcing himself to focus. He had to keep his head in the game. He was concerned that they hadn’t run into any Collectors yet, and it made their job of providing a distraction somewhat difficult. They were a large group of people and they certainly weren’t making any effort to conceal their presence, so it was honestly a little surprising.
There was a low moan. He slowed, glancing around him as the others continued on.
“What’s up?” Jane asked as she slowed as well, concern on her face.
“I’m not sure, I thought I heard-” Garrus froze. There it was again, followed by a scrabbling, scraping sound. “Heads up! Enemies incoming!” He yelled as he brought his rifle up.
A pale, sickly looking hand appeared at the edge of an overhang, followed by two angry, glowing blue eyes, and a husk pulled itself up before lurching at him. He fired one shot, catching it between the eyes.
“Great,” He chuckled humorlessly. “Exactly what we needed.” The first husk fell to be replaced by three more as they screeched and darted toward the group. He wasn’t sure if Shepard could hear him, but he decided to update him on their status, regardless. The team opened fire as more and more husks seemed to pull themselves from the woodwork.
Garrus took aim, but the husk in his crosshairs dropped suddenly, a hole blooming between its eyes. He looked away, turning to see Jane smirking at him.
“Gonna have to be faster than that, Vakarian, if you want to earn your free drinks.” She drawled as she loaded another heat sink, and he couldn’t help his answering smile
They began pressing forward again, and it wasn’t terribly surprising when Collectors finally began showing up as well. For the most part, though, they had no trouble with the small groups as they appeared. They made steady progress, and when they finally arrived at the large security door, it didn’t take too much before they were able to wipe out those guarding it.
Garrus quickly directed everyone into defensive positions, and all that was left was for them to hold their own until Shepard’s team arrived to open the door for them. Assuming, of course, that nothing had gone horribly wrong. He still hadn’t heard much more than garbled static from the other team over the comm, and he was more than a little anxious.
“He’ll be there.” Jane asserted, reading his face as he glanced back at the door for the millionth time.
“I know. And we’ll be ready when he is.”
But as the minutes dragged on, he became less and less sure. Wave after wave of Collectors threw themselves at them, each larger and more desperate than those that came before. It wasn’t long before his team was merely holding their own, holding off the tides of enemies with sheer determination and grit.
Garrus tried and failed, once again, to raise Shepard on the comm, cursing under his breath.
“We’re going to need to think up a backup plan pretty quick here if we don’t hear from him soon.” He stated bleakly, but Jane didn’t answer as she aimed and fired, another Collector dropping like a lead weight.
He wondered idly how many Collectors there were, because it certainly felt like all of them seemed to be descending upon them as they did their best to survive the assault. Their job had been to draw the Collector’s attention, and they certainly seemed to have done that admirably.
Garrus was just beginning to contemplate giving the order to retreat, if he could figure out where they could possibly go, when he saw it round the corner.
“Praetorian.” He breathed as the air seemed to drain from his lungs and he lost what scraps of hope he was clinging to. He looked around at his team, more than one nursing bloody injuries as they struggled to hold their positions.
It was Omega all over again. He was going to get another team killed, he never should have been trusted, he never should have-
The Praetorian loomed ever nearer, its pace unhurried as it descended upon its trapped and injured prey.
“ Damnit, Shepard, we need that door open. Do you copy? Come on, Shepard, where are you?” Garrus shouted into his comm, nearly jumping out of his plates when he instantly got a reply.
“ I copy. What’s your position?” Shepard’s voice felt like a blessing, an eleventh hour salvation, and Garrus almost felt his knees buckle as relief flooded him.
“We’re pinned down at the door. Taking heavy fire.”
“ We’re coming; Just hold on!”
Jane aimed a shot, but it ricocheted off the Praetorian’s armor and she cursed as she ducked back into cover. Others tried as well, but they barely seemed to make a dent. It seemed all they could do was keep their own barriers up and attempt to return fire from their huddled positions as the onslaught from the Collectors continued.
Garrus glanced back at the door behind them, clenching his jaw.
“Come on, Shepard…” He hissed in desperation before turning to aim and fire at an encroaching Collector, putting a bullet between its eyes.
The sweet, wonderful sound of grating steel on steel echoed through the corridor, and Garrus felt the door open behind him.
“Come on!” He heard Shepard yell as gunfire erupted on either side of him, mowing down a number of enemies. Standing, Garrus called for his team to begin retreating through the open doors, and quickly they stood and made their way through, laying down cover fire as others joined them.
Finally, Garrus backed through the door, joining the line just within it as they held back the Collectors fighting to get through. Someone was crouched nearby, working at the controls in an attempt to get the door closed.
A shot caught him hard in the side, feeling like a hammer blow to the gut, causing him to gasp and curse as his knee gave out. It sent him nearly crashing to the ground, his hand clasped to his side.
“Garrus!” He looked up to see Jane come to a screeching halt before him, her weapon drawn as she stood between him and the oncoming fire. After a moment, Thane, who stood just beside her, gestured back at him, and she nodded.
She turned and kneeled down before Garrus as Thane shifted over to cover both of them, and she quickly grabbed his free arm, slinging it over her shoulders before hauling him to the wall. He hissed in pain as he shifted, his subvocals flailing as she pulled his hand away from his side.
“Hold on, Garrus, you’re going to be okay.” Jane stated firmly, and he couldn’t help but appreciate her attempt at hiding the fear in her voice.
“I know.” His words were cut off as he gasped in pain, “I think my shields caught most of it.” Just then, they heard the whoosh of the doors closing, followed by the echoing silence that signified the end of the fire fight. Jane glanced up quickly before returning her attention to him.
“Garrus! Are you alright?” He looked up to see Shepard hurrying toward them before kneeling down beside him.
“I think so.” Garrus murmured as Jane managed to unlatch and pry off a cracked section of his hard suit’s plating, “I’ll probably have an awful bruise to boast about tomorrow. If we make it through this, that is.”
“I don’t think you’re bleeding, but I’ll apply some medi-gel just in case.” Jane reported, relief apparent on her face, “That should help with the pain at least.”
“Thanks, Jane.” Garrus said gratefully as he smiled, his mandibles flicking. Shepard gently patted his shoulder before standing and making his way from person to person, checking in to ensure everyone was okay. As Jane applied the medi-gel, Garrus felt the pain instantly beginning to recede. Looking around, he saw others tending to injuries, but it appeared as though they’d all made it. He took a deep breath, letting it out as he thanked the spirits.
“Joker?” Shepard finally stood, walking toward the center of the room as he opened the comm channel, “Are you at the rendezvous point?”
“ I’m here, Commander. Chakwas and the rest of the crew just showed up.” The pilot’s voice reported.
“
Tali’s group just arrived, Shepard. No casualties.”
EDI added, and Shepard seemed to visibly relax.
“Excellent,” Miranda said as she stepped up next to Shepard, “Now let’s make it count. EDI, what’s our next step?”
“ There should be some nearby platforms that will take you to the main control console. From there you can overload the system and destroy the base.” The AI responded matter-of-factly, and Miranda and Shepard exchanged a look, nodding.
“ Commander? ” Joker cut in urgently, “You got a problem. Hostiles massing just outside the door. Won’t be long until they bust through.” As one, the team looked toward the door they’d just come through. It wasn’t a stretch of the imagination, given what they’d just escaped from. They knew it was probably a matter of time.
Shepard seemed to steel himself before walking over to a platform and climbing up onto it. Those who had sat down to tend wounds stood, and everyone made their way to stand just before him.
“A rearguard could defend this position and keep the Collectors from overwhelming us. With the door to funnel them, you should be able to hold against them.” Shepard stated firmly, and Miranda stepped forward as she looked up at him.
“Pick a team to go with you, Shepard. Everyone else can bunker down here and cover your back.”
Turning, Shepard gazed up into the cavern beyond for a moment before returning his attention to the team arrayed before him.
“Garrus, are you in fighting shape?” He gestured down to him, and Garrus brought a hand up to brush the cracked plate of his hard suit which they’d gotten reaffixed.
“Absolutely.”
“Then let’s go. Jane, you too. I probably can’t be trusted to figure out how to overload this place on my own.” Smirking, Jane rolled her eyes before hoping up onto the platform. Together, they came to stand just behind Shepard. Garrus turned to look at Jane, who met his eye and reached out a hand for his, giving it a quick squeeze before letting go.
It wouldn’t have been right facing this any way other than together, side by side.
“The Collectors, the Reapers-” Shepard began, all eyes trained on him, “They aren’t a threat to us . They’re a threat to everything, everyone. Those are the lives we’re fighting for. That’s the scale.” His voice seemed to resonate through the room, the weight and scope of his words capturing each of them.
“It’s been a long journey, and no one’s coming out of it without scars.” Shepard continued after a beat, and Garrus forced himself to keep his hand at his side, forced himself not to finger his cracked and healing facial plates and scared flesh. “But it all comes down to this moment. We win or lose it all in the next few minutes.”
Shepard smiled, his face hard and determined, “Make me proud. Make yourselves proud.” As he went silent, a number of cheers and hollers erupted from the group, heads nodding in agreement and faces becoming resolute. Garrus knew that if they hadn’t already been willing to follow the man into hell, they were now.
As the voices quieted, Miranda spoke up, “Well said. We’ll do our best. Good luck, Shepard.” With that, Shepard nodded farewell to the group before turning and gesturing to Jane and Garrus to follow him. Together, they stepped forward toward the center of the platform. As if it knew its own purpose, the platform smoothly began shifting forward as it detached, slowly lifting them into the air.
“Thanks.” Jane muttered after a moment as she pulled out her rifle and spread her feet slightly for stability.
“For what?” Shepard turned to her, his eyebrow cocked in confusion.
“For not leaving me behind. For not pulling up some sort of bullshit excuse for why I shouldn’t be at your side.” She stated evenly, and Garrus wondered for a moment if the statement was meant as some sort of commentary on what had happened with Tali. If he’d had a chance to see Jane safely kept from danger, would he have taken it? Probably. But wasn’t it only natural to wish to keep your loved ones safe from harm? If Jane had a chance to keep him or John out of harm’s way, would she take it?
Shepard laughed, though it was closer to a snort of amusement, “Jane, if I tried to keep you out of this, you’d probably have beaten me up like when we were kids. Plus, how else would I keep an eye on you if you weren’t here with me?” They shared a laugh, and Garrus felt a little bit of the tension drain out of him, even as the platform continued into the unknown.
“Not to mention,” Jane added as she grinned, “You’re completely hopeless with tech without me. You might have the brute biotics covered, but you need Garrus and me for the stuff that actually requires smarts.”
“Hey!” Shepard glared at her as he tried to fight back the smile on his own face, but their laughs slowly died as they finally entered another cavern and spotted another platform moving toward them. Garrus could make out the distinct form of a Collector standing in the middle of it.
“Enemies inbound!” He called out as he pulled out his rifle and they all darted into cover. Their own platform froze as the new one neared it, and Garrus lined up his shot. Taking out the first one, he noticed two or three others already ducking behind low walls.
Shot after shot, biotic blasts and shockwaves rocking the platforms occasionally, they took down the Collectors as they fought savagely to keep them from progressing. They seemed to throw everyone they could muster at them, and Garrus was beginning to think they must truly have something interesting to hide wherever those pipes led.
Every now and then, one of the Collectors seemed to be seized by an invisible fist, thrust up into the air as it crackled with glowing energy. When it dropped heavily back down onto the ground, it was possessed of an otherworldly power, strength, and stamina that made it a challenge all its own. It screamed at them with a voice completely lacking emotional intonation, each time making Garrus feel as though the voice was scratching across the inside of his skull instead of just assaulting his ear drums.
Finally, they seemed to be out of forces to throw at them, and Shepard ordered them back to their original platform. Jane typed a few commands into the odd control console there, and the platform continued on into the main chamber, the ultimate terminus of the abhorrent pipes.
“This is it.” Shepard murmured as they neared the entrance to the final cavern, “All the tubes lead to this spot.” They each exchanged grim glances, and Garrus wondered if they felt the same building dread and trepidation that he felt. He didn’t know what to expect, but he knew it wasn’t anything good.
What could the Collectors possibly be doing with the liquified remains of thousands of humans? They had been harvesting colonists for months in a targeted, well planned campaign. They knew the Collectors were servants of the Reapers, but what could the purpose of all it truly be?
“EDI. What can you tell us? What are they doing?” Shepard asked into the comm, his mind clearly drifting to similar questions.
“ The tubes are feeding into some kind of superstructure. It is emitting both organic and non-organic energy signatures.” EDI explained, but as she continued, her voice seemed hesitant, almost fearful, “ Given these readings, it must be massive .” She paused, and Garrus felt the tension in the air tighten and churn as they finally entered into a colossal chamber. Looking up, Garrus’ eyes widened in horror. “ Shepard. If my calculations are correct, the superstructure… is a Reaper.”
The thing… the Reaper hanging before them was nothing like the only other Reaper Garrus had ever seen. Sovereign, or what Legion referred to as Nazara, had been almost insectoid in shape, its many legs extending from something that resembled a thorax. This Reaper, if that’s what it was, seemed to resemble-
“Not just any Reaper- A human Reaper.” Shepard snarled in disgust as their platform drew ever nearer, finally coming to a stop with a jerk as it interlocked with a collection of similar platforms just below the structure.
“ Precisely. ”
Human. It could possibly be called that except for the fact that it was clearly something straight out of a nightmare. The bones, the flesh, the internal organs - they were clearly all made of cold, synthetic metal. Organic and inorganic shapes came together in a twisted, horrific mockery of life, a deathly homage to the creatures melted down to create it.
It was clearly unfinished, significant parts if it seemed to be under construction, and there appeared to be nothing completed below the ribcage yet. Some areas appeared to be covered in plating, while others had exposed wires, tubes, and joints on display. The skull grinned down at them, its eyes lifeless, and some sort of device hid between two sets of unnervingly detailed teeth.
Four huge, partially clear pipes trailed down from the cavern’s ceiling to the Reaper’s arms, seeming to support it. Hazy light filtered in from behind, catching and reflecting off the pipes in a way that made their crimson contents seem to glow vibrantly. Contents which seemed to be slowly draining down into the Reaper. Garrus felt his stomach churn and thanked the Spirits he hadn’t eaten much before the mission.
“ It appears the Collectors have processed tens of thousands of humans. Significantly more will be required to complete the Reaper.” EDI stated heavily, and the implication was clear. The Collectors had their sights set on a target far more densely populated than any colony.
“They’re going to target Earth.” Jane whispered in horror as she stared up at the Reaper, her eyes wide. “We need to blow all of this to hell.”
“This thing is an abomination. EDI, how do we destroy it?” Shepard asked, his voice little more than a furious growl.
“ The large tubes injecting the fluid are a weak structural link. Destroying them should cause the supports to collapse, and the Reaper to fall.”
Before she even had time to finish speaking, Garrus could hear the sound of additional platforms closing in on them. The very tubes she spoke ok suddenly began stuttering, the exposed glass suddenly covered by panels of plating. As the platforms approached, Garrus could see a number of Collectors upon each.
“Give us a minute, EDI. We’ve got to take care of some old friends first.” Shepard muttered as he checked his shotgun, an angry gleam in his eye.
“Enemies incoming.” Jane stated, and they all dove into cover just as the Collectors opened fire on them. They began picking off enemies one by one, almost as though it had become routine at this point in the mission.
“Do you think all Reapers look like different races they’ve harvested?” Jane asked between shots, and Shepard shook his head.
“I don’t know. The visions I got through the beacon back on Eden Prime… I don’t know. I kind of figured they all looked like Sovereign did.” He said thoughtfully before standing to fire off a biotic shockwave.
“This thing seems substantially smaller than Sovereign.” Garrus pointed out, and both the Shepards murmured their agreement.
“What if this is just some sort of core? What if, inside, Sovereign had a core that looked like some other race they’d harvested millenia ago?” Jane mused after a minute, and Shepard turned an exasperated look at her as another platform full of Collectors arrived.
“Jane, this really isn’t the best time for speculating. Can it wait till later?” He asked and she scoffed in reply, but didn’t continue the train of thought as they focused on the oncoming enemies.
After a few minutes, a flash of blue light caught Garrus’ attention. He glanced over at the Reaper, but seeing nothing, he focused back on the enemies bearing down on them.
Another flash caught his eye, and apprehension began building as he saw yet another pulse of blue light shoot through the Reaper’s core.
It twitched.
“Guys,” Garrus began, his voice rising, “I don’t think that thing is inactive.”
The Reaper’s head jerked suddenly, and its jaw opened wide as a dull, orange glow began to gather between its teeth. Alarm bells began ringing in his head as the Reaper looked up in their direction.
As the last Collector fell, whatever energy resided within the platform faded, causing the plating over the tubes to retract suddenly. The glow within the Reaper’s mouth grew brighter, and Garrus realized it was some sort of cannon.
“Shoot the injection tubes!” He yelled, and at once all three of them aimed and fired. Within seconds, the glass shattered, showering the Reaper with vivid crimson liquid. Jane cursed under her breath, her eyes wide as the gigantic synthetic suddenly seemed to power down. They shifted their attention to the next tube, but as another platform approached, the tubes began shuttering again.
“Rinse and repeat.” Shepard muttered as they all changed out their heat sinks in preparation.
One by one, they killed the Collectors descending upon them. One by one, they destroyed the glowing tubes. Each time, the Reaper seemed to fight its lethargy faster, charging its energy beam with fervent determination to see them incinerated.
But as the last tube shattered, the whole structure seemed to quiver. The Reaper’s head lurched forward, swinging down to hang before it, swaying dangerously. One by one, the narrow supports keeping it suspended snapped, and it seemed almost anticlimactic as the Reaper slumped and finally fell.
The three of them stood there for a moment as they caught their breath, exchanging wild eyed glances as though they still couldn’t quite believe it was over. Slowly, they stepped toward the edge, but the haziness of the air made it impossible to see all the way down to where the Reaper had landed.
Suddenly, Shepard’s head shot up as though remembering something important.
“Shepard to ground team. Status report.” He snapped into his comm urgently as he stepped away from the ledge, turning toward the center of the platform. After a few tense moments, they finally got a reply.
“ It’s Thane. We are holding, but they keep coming.” The sound of gunfire rattled in the background, followed by an explosion. “ A quick exit is preferable.” Jane cursed again, not bothering to keep it under her breath. She quickly made her way to the main platform, glancing around before her eyes landed on a small hexagonal panel in the floor. Garrus joined her, kneeling just beside her.
“Head to the Normandy. Joker, prep the engines. I’m about to overload this place and blow it sky high.” Shepard said as he watched them both fiddle with the panel.
“ Roger that, Commander.” Joker replied just as Jane managed to find the switch, releasing the handle. Grasping it, she twisted and pulled up, releasing the main control console. “ Uh, Commander?” Joker’s voice piped up again, “ I’ve got an incoming signal from the Illusive Man. EDI’s patching it through.”
Since Jane’s hands were full, Garrus summoned up his omni-tool and pulled up the call. Instantly, the hologram materialized before him, and he felt his mandibles flick in irritation and distaste as he finally laid eyes upon the Illusive Man.
“ Shepard.” The Illusive Man stated, and the Commander turned to face him, his arms crossed. Jane continued tinkering with the control console, studiously ignoring them. “ You’ve done the impossible.”
“I was part of a team , and we’re not finished here yet. This base is ten minutes from extinction.” Shepard stated, his face as blank as a poker mask.
“ Wait.” The Illusive Man interjected hurriedly, “ I have a better option .” Beside the control console, Jane’s fingers froze. “ I’m looking at the schematics EDI uploaded. A timed radiation pulse would kill the remaining Collectors, but leave the machinery and technology intact.” Jane sat back on her heels, her attention wholly on the Illusive Man. “ This is our chance, Shepard .” He continued, bringing up a clenched fist before him, “ They were building a Reaper. That knowledge, that framework, could save us.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Shepard hissed indignantly, “They liquified people. Turned them into something horrible. We have to destroy this place.” He turned away from the hologram, his face pinched and angry. Jane stood, crossing her arms in contemplation.
“ Don’t be short sighted.” The Illusive Man rebuked harshly, “ Our best chance against the Reapers is to turn their own resources against them .”
Garrus wasn’t entirely sure how he felt about the prospect of keeping the Collector Base. On one hand, if they really could find something to use against the Reapers here, it would feel as though all those human lives would have been lost for nothing if they destroyed it. On the other hand, he didn’t trust Cerberus not to do something worse than the Collectors did. He vividly remembered the kind of experiments they’d done in the past.
He looked over to Jane, who slowly turned to look out over the cavern where the human Reaper had hung. She remained silent, and it made him hesitant.
“Using anything from this base is a betrayal to the human race.” Shepard snapped, his eyes alight as he took a half step toward the hologram.
“ If we ignore this opportunity, that would be a betrayal.”
The two men continued to argue back and forth over the fate of the Collector base, their tempers flaring. Jane turned back to face them, her face stoney as one hand came up to finger her sidearm absently. She couldn’t seriously be considering it, could she?
“ -I didn’t discard you because I knew your value. Don’t be so quick to discard this facility. Think of the potential.” Garrus could hear the desperation in the Illusive Man’s voice as it slowly became clear that Shepard didn’t intend to budge.
“We’ll fight and win without it.” Shepard turned away to glare down at the control console, “I won’t let fear compromise who I am.”
Turning quickly to face Jane, the Illusive Man’s eyes narrowed, his lip curled in an angry snarl, “ Operative Shepard. Do not let him destroy the base !” He demanded, and Jane’s eyes flicked to where Shepard stood.
Shepard looked back up at her, their eyes meeting, tension causing his shoulders to tighten. They held each other’s gaze for a moment that dragged on, until finally Jane looked back at the Illusive Man.
“Or what?” She finally asked, cocking an eyebrow at him, “Gonna sic your AI on me? Oh , right. EDI’s not under your thumb anymore either, is she?” Jane’s familiar smirk slowly spread across her face, her voice mocking and unconcerned.
“ I gave you an order, Shepard!”
“No, go fuck yourself. I don’t give two shits what you think. I’m done taking orders from Cerberus, and the Council can just go suck on it.” Jane’s smirk vanished as she jabbed an angry finger in his face. “If you think we’d trust you with something as dangerous as this base, then you’re stupider than you look.” The Illusive Man’s eyes widened in outrage, and Jane caught Garrus’ eye with a curt nod. “Consider this my resignation.”
“ Shepard! ” The Illusive Man turned to face the Commander again, panic in his voice, “ Think about what’s at stake. About everything Cerberus has done for you. You-”
With a single keystroke, Garrus cut the call.
“ God , that felt good.” Jane sighed as she turned toward the main control console, pausing to look up as Shepard stepped closer to lay a hand on her shoulder. “Wha-” She cut off as he pulled her into a tight hug. “John, what-”
“I”m proud of you, that’s all. You had me worried for a moment there.”
“You didn’t honestly think I was considering arguing with you to keep this abomination, were you?” She asked incredulously as Shepard pulled away and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck.
“Well, you seemed to be giving something a great deal of thought, so I just-”
“I just told my boss to go fuck himself. You’re the one who’s always telling me to stop being impulsive. So I thought about it first.” Jane shrugged as she smiled, and Shepard couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Okay, fair.”
“Uh, guys,” Garrus coughed, causing both of them to look at him, “This is all well and good, but we might want to get on with it.”
“Right. See? That’s why we keep you around.” Jane turned and knelt down by the control console, typing in a few commands quickly.
“ Someone needs to be the brains of this operation.” Shepard muttered, causing Jane to chuckle and nod.
A minute or two later, Jane pulled a small device out of her pouch and affixed it to the console. Pulling up her omni-tool, she typed in a few commands before standing.
“Okay, that should do it. We have ten minutes before the reactor overloads and this whole place blows to kingdom come.”
“Let’s move.” Shepard stated as he reached up to grab the handle above the console, pushing it back down into the floor. As Shepard stood, Garrus turned to glance around the cavern. All that was left was to figure out how to get back to the Normandy.
The platform shook violently, causing them all to stumble and struggle to keep their footing. At first, Garrus assumed it was whatever Jane had done to cause the reactor to begin overloading. But then he heard a terrible, electronic howl echoing up from the depths of the cavern. The platform shook again, and they turned to see a gigantic, metallic hand reach up to grab the platform.
“Shit! ” Jane hissed, taking a half step backwards.
The human Reaper had clawed its way back up to them, staring down at them with glowing, soulless eyes, and Garrus accepted in that moment that they were probably going to die. The thing was impossibly huge, and now that it was unbound and determined to kill them, Garrus couldn’t see how they could survive and make it to the Normandy in time.
He glanced quickly at the main control console. But they’d done it. So long as they guarded the console until the explosion, then the mission would be a success. They could manage that, couldn’t they? By the determined set of the other two’s jaws as they unholstered their weapons, they’d had similar thoughts.
It wasn’t the worst way to die, Garrus supposed. His mind drifted back to his last stand in his apartment on Omega. He’d been running on nothing but spite at the end there, determined to die with style. But this felt purposeful, less like screaming into the void and more like dying for a cause.
Maybe he wasn’t such a bad turian afterall.
Shepard immediately lept into action, directing them to take up positions and go for the eyes. The nightmarish thing leaned in closer, staring down at them as it began charging up whatever it was that resided between its teeth. They got a few hits in before a beam erupted from the cannon, sending them diving into cover as it shook the platform, leaving a sizzling scar of charred residue in its wake.
Garrus could feel his heart hammering in his throat as he realized how much damage the thing was capable of inflicting in a single hit. There was no way his shields could stand up to something like that.
They continued aiming for the Reaper’s furious, glowing eyes, but it became apparent that it was much more intelligent than they’d originally guessed. It looked like a hellish beast, but as it ducked, dodged, and attempted to hide its weak points from them, it became obvious that it was a thinking, calculating being with a mind all its own.
One of them got in a good hit, and it screamed in anger before ducking down below the platform. In an instant, gunfire was directed their way as another platform arrived carrying more Collectors. The team returned fire, taking them out as quickly as they could, and minutes later, the Reaper reappeared as it lifted a giant hand up in an attempt to crush them.
Garrus rolled out of the way and struggled to keep a grip on the platform as it rocked violently with the impact. Regaining his footing, he aimed for its eyes again, whooping as he landed a few good hits.
He wasn’t sure how fast time was flowing as they struggled to dodge and return fire, but all the while he pictured the countdown slowly ticking away, and any hope he’d had of making it back in time disappeared with it. He half expected to feel the heat of the overloading reactor any moment. Should he have asked Jane to return to the Normandy back when they’d had a chance? Not that she would have listened.
They took down another group of Collectors, and Shepard stood as he looked down at something he’d plucked from one of their bodies.
“Hmm, now this might be useful.” He muttered as he gazed at the Collector Particle Beam in his hands. The Reaper reappeared, looming above them with a viscous, synthetic screech, and they all quickly ducked into cover again.
“John, don’t. You know you have to stand stock still to aim that thing. You’ll be a sitting duck.” Jane hissed, but Shepard just shook his head.
“Our only chance of getting out of here alive is to end this now . And if it gets me, well… We’re going to die soon anyway.” With that, he stood and took a step back, aiming the Particle Beam.
“Goddammit, John!” Jane cursed as she began firing her own rifle. The Particle Beam seemed to be doing the trick and the Reaper screamed angrily at them as it attempted to dodge out of the way. Finally, though, it seemed to decide destruction was the only way. The beam between its jaws began to glow, the energy gathering quickly.
“Shepard, get down!” Garrus shouted as he dove into cover, but the Commander still stood motionless, the Particle Beam cutting a deep furrow into one of the synthetic’s eyes. The glow of the Reaper’s cannon charging nearly hurt the eyes to look at as angry, crackling energy arched across its face. Garrus stood, preparing to dash out and grab Shepard, “You need to move! ”
Before he could, Jane dashed forward, coming to a stop before Shepard, one arm outstretched protectively, the other blocking her own face from the intense heat of the nearly charged beam cannon. Words evaporated off Garrus’ tongue as he processed the sight of the two people he cared most about in the world willfully staring death in the face.
Garrus willed his feet to move, hoping he had time to drag both of them to safety, but at that moment, something exploded. He looked up to see the Reaper’s eye socket engulfed in flames, the fire quickly spreading across its face. It threw its head back and roared in outrage, the energy beam erupting to smash into the cavern’s ceiling.
As debris began raining down, the Reaper raised a gigantic arm into the air in a final attempt to crush them. But then something in its head exploded, and it seemed to falter. The arm came crashing lifelessly down onto the platforms, followed by the rest of the Reaper as it pitched forward limply.
The platforms heaved as they failed to support its weight, and Garrus felt his footing give out, gravity taking hold of his body.
“Garrus!” Two voices cried out as he fell hard onto his chest, the air leaving him in a rush. Fear began to set in as his fingers scrambled for purchase, the platform nearly vertical as it began tumbling after the fallen Reaper. He looked up to see Jane throw herself after him, her eyes wide as she called out to him. Reaching up toward her, his mind was nothing but a panicked, scrambled mess of prayers, their fingers mere millimeters apart as they slid downward.
His stomach dropped out as the platform ended and he careened off the side of it. Thrashing, his hand managed to catch hold of something, his arm screaming in pain as he struggled to retain his grip. But whatever it was, it was too slick to hold, and only a second later it slipped out of his hand.
Two hands shot out, grasping one of his arms and the edge of his shoulder guard. Looking up, he saw Jane dangling almost completely off the edge of the platform, Shepard holding desperately to her lower half in an attempt to keep them both from falling into the abyss below.
“I got you.” Jane grunted, her face twisted in pain as she struggled to support his weight. Carefully, Shepard began pulling her back onto the platform, and Garrus managed to grab a hand hold with his free hand. As quickly as they could, they pulled themselves back up onto the platform just in time to duck as the cavern was engulfed in a huge, fiery explosion, the faint screams of the dying Reaper finally drowned out.
The blast sent the platforms spinning, causing them to detach from one another. Shepard, Jane, and Garrus all rolled as one side of the platform they were on was flung upwards. They finally came to a stop as it righted itself, and Garrus grabbed Jane as they clutched the platform for dear life, the world spinning around them. He attempted to cover her as much as he could, but everything quickly seemed to devolve into chaos.
He chanced a glance up just in time to see a stray platform hurtling toward them. He opened his mouth to scream, but the world exploded in pain as it collided with them.
Some time later, he wasn’t sure how much, the world finally stopped spinning, and Garrus blinked. He had no idea where he was, or even what way was up. His head hurt. His whole body hurt. He could feel his blood thumping with every throb of his head, and even twitching a finger made him wince.
“Garrus!” He looked up to see Shepard coming to stand over him, carefully rolling him over.
“Shepard? What-” He winced and coughed, a sharp pain in his chest, “What happened?”
“We need to hurry, we don’t have much time. Come on.” Shepard offered a hand, and he grabbed it, groaning as he stood. Once he was steady on his feet, Shepard let go and glanced around, hurrying toward a pile of debris nearby.
“Jane!” Garrus gasped as he watched the Commander reach down and begin heaving a large metal panel off her prone form.
“I’m… okay. I think.” She groaned as Shepard finally got the heavy weight of it off her, tossing it to the side. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, supporting her as she regained her footing.
“ Do you copy? Commander?” Came a staticky voice over their comm suddenly, “ Come on, Shepard, don’t leave me hanging. Do you copy?” Shepard stepped back from Jane, focusing on the incoming call. Garrus limped over to her, bringing up a hand to grab hers pulling her close for a hug, marveling at the feel of her arms wrapping around him.
They were alive . By some miracle, they had survived . Spirits, he could smell her sweat, he could feel her heartbeat, he could hear her breathing. They’d killed that thing, somehow, and come out of it alive.
“I’m here, Joker.” Shepard replied hoarsely into the comm as he stepped off the ruined platform onto the solid ground they’d collided with, “Did the ground team make it?”
“ All survivors on board. We’re just waiting on you.” Just then, Garrus registered the humming sound he’d heard in the background, steadily growing louder. He let go of Jane, stepping back as he turned, looking for the source.
“Seeker swarms.” Jane growled, and they both backed up as Shepard turned toward them to see the oncoming swarms.
“Come on!” Shepard gestured to them, and they both turned to follow as he ran into the adjoining corridor. Jane pulled out her sidearm as they ran, turning for a moment to fire a few pointless shots in the direction of the swarm. “We only have a minute or two before this place blows!”
They ran as fast as they could, ignoring everything but the route ahead of them. Garrus pushed his legs as hard as he could, ignoring the pain, ignoring the stitch in his side, ignoring the throbbing in his head. Beside him, he saw Jane panting raggedly, her face contorted as she struggled, her hand gripping her side in pain. He willed her to continue going, hoping she had the energy to keep up.
They turned a corner, coming face to face with a number of Collectors. They skidded to a stop, turning and hurrying down a different corridor instead. Spirits, he hoped Shepard knew where they were going, because Garrus had no idea where they were. The Collectors ran after them, and suddenly they were having to duck and weave as the Collectors opened fire. Their only saving grace was that it was hard for their foes to aim while running fast enough to keep up.
They turned another corner, and Garrus felt a spike of hope. A ramp led up toward a large open section in the wall, the burning light of the center of the galaxy just visible beyond. Without warning, the Normandy rose up from below, coming to rest at the end of the small ramp. Garrus almost felt lightheaded at the wave of relief that hit him.
He nearly lost his footing as an explosion rocked the base, and he realized with dread that they’d finally run out of time. The reactor must be overloading. Another explosion shook them, but he managed to maintain his momentum, forcing his feet onward, every step taking him closer and closer to safety. He dodged rubble as it fell from above, a metal panel falling to crash nearby.
Finally, Garrus reached the ramp, and he looked up to see the airlock door open. There stood Joker, rifle in hand, snarl on his face. He began laying down cover fight, and Garrus picked up his pace for the home stretch, leaping into the open airlock.
He turned just in time to see Shepard nearly careen headlong into him. Helping the other man steady himself, he turned and readied himself to help catch Jane, but paused. She wasn’t there, and his heart nearly stopped.
“Jane!” Shepard shouted, and they both stepped to the edge of the airlock, searching for her. Jane was hurrying up the base of the ramp as fast as she could, gripping her side in pain as the Collectors gained on her. “Come on, Jane, hurry!”
She didn’t reply, only picking up her pace as best she could. More explosions rocked the base, more debris falling. More metal panels fell, and one of them landed just before them, breaking off the end of the ramp before Garrus could even process what was happening. With dawning horror, his eyes scanned the expanse between Jane and the safety of the Normandy’s airlock.
There was no way she could make it.
“Bring us in closer!” He yelled, but it was no good. Jane reached the end of the ramp at full speed, her eyes set, her face determined. She leapt toward them, her arms outstretched. It was as though she were convinced that sheer willpower would see her across the gap. But it wasn’t enough, and Garrus felt his chest tighten as his blood chilled with despair.
She wasn’t going to make it.
He threw himself forward, his arm outstretched toward her the same time Shepard did, the two of them hitting the floor of the airlock hard, fighting for every extra inch they could spare. Garrus felt the brush of her fingers, and he clamped down upon her as firmly as he could. His heart hammering in his chest, his eyes wild, he looked down and saw her.
They had her. He and Shepard had each grabbed one of her hands as she plummeted downward, catching her in the nick of time.
“Gottcha.” He said, and she grinned up at him.
The Collectors neared the ramp, opening fire at them as the Normandy began pushing back. Together, he and Shepard pulled her up and into the airlock. When they were finally clear, the door closed, and Garrus felt himself reach for Jane’s hand. Her’s found his, and they held onto each other as they followed Shepard and Joker into the cockpit.
“ Detonation in ten, night, eight-”
“Yeah, I get the gist of it, EDI!” Joker snapped as he hobbled toward his seat, falling into it, “Hold on!” His fingers were a blur, whirling through the controls faster than Garrus would have thought possible. He looked up through the window to see them burst free of the base just as an explosion caused the ship to rock.
“Get us out of here, Joker!” Shepard stated somewhat unnecessarily from where he stood just behind the pilot’s chair, clinging to the top of it in a death grip.
“Aye, aye, Sir.” Joker quipped as Garrus felt the Normandy picking up speed. There was a sudden burst of light from behind the ship, but a moment later, they passed close enough to the relay.
Garrus felt the familiar tug, and suddenly everything outside the window seemed to draw out as they made the jump. The atmosphere in the cockpit remained tense and silent for a moment as they all struggled to process what had happened. Then, a lone cry went up behind them.
“That was fucking awesome!” Jack yelled, and they turned to see nearly the entire ground team gathered just behind them. The words seemed to release them from whatever spell they were under, for at that moment cheers went up around the CIC, both from the crew and the ground team alike.
Garrus turned to Jane, who was slapping her brother on the back. She turned to face him, her grin so bright he thought it could light the whole galaxy all on its own. He pulled her into a hug, and he was fairly certain his own smile was no less huge. He couldn’t help himself, he spun her around, cherishing the sound of her laughter. He felt like he was high and lightheaded, the joy of surviving taking complete control.
They came to a halt, and without warning, Garrus twisted, dipping her down low. Then, right there in the middle of the cockpit, before everyone, he kissed her.
They were alive.
Notes:
Merry Christmas and happy holidays to my wonderful readers! I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. We're really coming down to the end here, I hope you enjoy the conclusion coming up! 🥰
Chapter 50: Part 2: Chapter 25
Summary:
In which Garrus basks in their victory.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 25
The Normandy SR2
They were alive .
All Garrus could think about was the taste of her, the feel of her in his arms, the joy of knowing they’d both made it back alive, their mission complete. No one existed in the world except them.
After a moment, he drew back slightly, enough to look down at her in his arms. Jane smiled up at him, his own happiness reflected on her face as she clung to him. She pulled him down for another kiss, and he felt his subvocals hum contentedly as he succumbed.
Reality returned suddenly as he registered the sound of catcalls and whistles around them. His eyes snapped open to see her equally surprised expression. He quickly stood them upright again, returning Jane to her own feet, and they glanced around to see the squad and crew around them all laughing and cheering. Garrus felt one of his hands come up to rub the back of his neck hesitantly, but he didn’t remove the other from the small of Jane’s back. He couldn’t quite bring himself to completely let go of her yet.
“Wait, what? ” A shocked squawk erupted behind them, and they both turned suddenly to see a wide eyed, opened mouthed Shepard standing just a few feet away. “You-” He pointed at Garrus, then to Jane, open amazement on his face, “What-? How-? When-”?
“English, John.” Jane smirked as she crossed her arms, leaning into Garrus slightly even as he swallowed nervously, heat creeping up his neck. “We both speak it at least somewhat fluently.” Shepard took a moment to collect himself, though he still seemed somewhat stunned.
“I didn’t realize you guys were… together? Or is this a new thing?” He gestured between the two of them, his voice nearly an octave higher than usual, and they glanced at each other before looking back at him.
“I, er, wouldn’t call it new , exactly. No.” Garrus murmured as he glanced away, very unsure how to handle the situation. Bringing up their relationship to her brother, her only family, seemed far too similar to being brought home to meet her family. What if she wasn’t ready for them to be that serious yet? She’d told him she loved him, and he tried to remind himself that it was different amongst humans. They may not have the same traditions as turians, but the nerves remained.
Jane seemed relaxed though, as she chuckled and shrugged. “You really didn’t know, John? I figured the whole ship knew by now. It’s been a few months now, I think.” The news caused Shepard’s eyes to widen further as he blinked in surprise.
“ Months ? Christ, really?”
“You honestly didn’t know, Shepard?” Kasumi chimed in as she hid her grin behind a hand and a few others laughed again.
“Yeah, they haven’t really been going out of their way to hide it.” Miranda rolled her eyes despite the smile on her own face.
“I think it’s sweet.” Jacob added, shrugging a moment later when Jack turned her sneer on him. “What? I can appreciate a good romance.”
“The touchy feely shit is gross, stop encouraging them.” She groaned and more laughter erupted behind her. The whole ship seemed to be mildly giddy, high on their near escape from certain death.
“Okay, okay, thanks guys.” Jane drawled with a small smile and a roll of her eyes, “Glad to see everyone has an opinion on our private life. But feel free to keep it to yourselves.”
“So you guys really are together?” Shepard asked, his voice suddenly serious. They turned back to Shepard and the chatter behind them quieted down at his question.
“Yeah,” Garrus started, forcing up words that seemed to have lodged in his throat, “I hope that’s okay with you, I didn’t-”
The force of Shepard’s arms wrapping around the both of them almost caused him to stagger backwards, but he caught himself as he registered the sudden hug. Shepard squeezed them both nearly to the point of discomfort, and Garrus could just barely make out the huge grin on his face.
“That’s fantastic! I’m so happy for you both!” Relief washed over him at the other man’s excited words, and Jane laughed as her arms came up to wrap around both of them. Shepard gave them both one more squeeze before stepping back, placing a hand on their shoulders as he smiled at them. “We’ve made jokes about being family, but now we kind of are. The brother I never had.”
The strong emotion that hit Garrus at those words nearly overwhelmed him, words utterly failing him. Jane’s smile softened, and a moment later she reached up to place an affectionate kiss on her brother’s cheek.
“Thanks, John.” Shepard smiled at her warmly before turning to Garrus with a brow raised in amusement.
“You’ve been pretty sly this whole time, though, haven't you? I thought you said you didn’t have a girlfriend.”
“Hey now, I said I didn’t have a turian girlfriend. Last I checked, she’s human.” They shared a laugh at that until they were interrupted.
“Shepard!” They all spun to see the crew parting, a purple clad blur darting toward them. Garrus and Jane managed to get out of the way just in time as Tali launched herself at the Commander, giving him a tight hug.
Laughing, he wrapped his arms around her and spun her happily before putting her down and bringing his hands up to cup her helmet. He pressed his forehead to her faceplate, the closest to a kiss he could manage given the circumstances.
“You’re okay! You’re alive! You did it!” Tali exclaimed excitedly, her voice hoarse with emotion as her hands came up to rest on his before trailing down his arms. Suddenly, she pulled away before punching him hard in the arm.
“Ouch! What was that for?” Shepard yelped, and she jabbed a finger into his armored chest.
“ That was for sending me back and not letting me fight by your side!” She exclaimed angrily, but her voice softened as she continued, “ Never again , do you hear me?”
“I told you I’d come back.” Shepard murmured and she nodded, evidently no longer capable of speech as he wrapped his arms around her again and she leaned into him.
“Okay, as sweet as all of this is, can you please take it somewhere else? Pretty sure I’m going to be sick.” Joker groaned halfheartedly as he glanced around the edge of his chair.
“ Thank you .” Jack added a moment later, and was met with a few chuckles.
“Okay, okay.” Shepard relented, releasing Tali, “We’ve all got plenty of work to do, anyway.” His voice shifted into that of the Commander, “Joker, limp us back to Omega, we’re in need of serious repairs.” He turned to leave, but paused before looking back at Joker, “Good work today, by the way.” Joker nodded his head with a small smile before returning to the controls.
“Aye, aye, sir.”
Shepard looked toward EDI’s console, “EDI, begin the process of removing Cerberus’ monitoring devices. I have a call to make to the Illusive Man.” His face hardened as he started toward the CIC.
The crowd parted as he passed through, murmurs of congratulations and thanks following him as he strode toward the comm room. The room went silent as Shepard disappeared behind the doors. Slowly, one by one, the faces turned to look at Jane and Garrus, and he felt himself blink in surprise.
“So, what happened after we separated in the Collector Base?” Miranda finally asked, and many of them nodded their desire to know the same, “What did you find up there?”
“Wait, EDI didn’t tell you guys anything yet?” Jane asked, taking the words right out of Garrus’ mouth.
“ No, I thought it best to wait until after our escape through the relay.” The AI chimed in and, after a pause, Jane nodded slowly, but then winced, a hand coming up to grip her side.
“Fine, I’ll tell you guys about what happened, but I think I need to see the doctor first.” At her words, it was as if every muscle in Garrus’ body throbbed in unison. The adrenaline was clearly beginning to fade and all the injuries accumulated during the course of the mission seemed to hit him all at once.
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” He added, his voice a little pinched.
“Of course, of course.” Miranda gestured them toward the CIC and led the way to the elevators, much the ground team following after. They dodged around debris and the crewmates beginning to sift through it all.
As they walked, Garrus chanced a quick look at Jane, noticing as she glanced up at him as well. They shared a smile and her shoulder bumped his gently. Spirits , they were alive.
In the hours following the relay jump, they managed to scan and remove most, if not all, of the monitoring devices aboard the Normandy. Shepard made it clear to the Illusive Man that he was cutting ties with them, and sweeping the ship was only the first step.
EDI seemed more than content with the split, which seemed to surprise many. She made it clear that her allegiance was to Shepard, the crew, and the Normandy, and Cerberus didn’t seem to factor into that despite the fact that they’d created her. She was one of the most helpful when it came to ridding the ship of the monitoring devices.
The other surprise was Miranda. She seemed to take the Illusive Man’s sudden obsession with saving the Collector Base personally. Perhaps it had started earlier with the events surrounding the derelict Reaper, but after everything they witnessed in the Collector Base, she seemed to have finally decided that the Illusive Man didn’t genuinely have humanity’s best interest at heart. So she submitted her resignation and seemed to throw herself into the efforts to detach the ship from Cerberus whole heartedly.
Shepard made an announcement to the crew that the ship would no longer be associated with Cerberus and told them that they would have the option to stay or leave once they arrived on Omega. From the snippets of conversation Garrus heard, it seemed like a good chunk of the crew was opting to remain with Shepard aboard the Normandy, though it seemed like a few planned to leave and return to Cerberus, including Mess Sergeant Gardner. Not that that made much of a difference to Garrus, he’d never been given anything fancier than normal rehydrated dextro rations.
Just before their arrival on Omega, Shepard got a hold of Aria’s people and made plans to have the Normandy repaired. Garrus was initially hesitant about the idea of hiring a crew on Omega to conduct the repairs, but Aria promised to get her best people on it. For a fee, of course. Luckily, Shepard seemed to have put quite a bit of money aside from his Cerberus funding, and thus wasn’t terribly concerned about the price.
In fact, when they arrived on Omega, Shepard announced that he was putting the whole crew up in a surprisingly nice hotel for the duration of the repairs, which would probably be about a week. This was met with the expected enthusiasm from a crew that really hadn’t had a true break in far too long.
“Garrus and I can just share a room.” Jane stated offhandedly as she helped Shepard with the logistics of setting up the hotel bookings in the lobby. Shepard looked up at her from his datapad, his eyebrows leaping up. “What? Don’t give me that look. I’m an adult and I can sleep with whomever I want, thank you Dad .”
Garrus tried to ignore the conversation as best he could as mortified heat creeped up his neck, trying and failing to focus on whatever Ken and Gabby were chatting about nearby.
“I wasn’t-! Gah ,” Shepard brought a hand up to rub his eyes in exasperation, “Jane, as much as I love that you guys are together - and really, I’m happy for you guys - I really don’t want to think about my best friend and my baby sister sleeping together.”
“Then don’t think about it. It’s none of your business.” Jane muttered as she turned to lean back against the lobby’s front desk, “Plus, are you honestly telling me you and Tali are going to be sleeping in different rooms this week?” Shepard didn’t seem to have a ready reply, causing Jane to smirk at him knowingly, “I thought not.” They were silent for another moment before Jane added quietly, “I’m happy for you guys, by the way. I’m glad you guys figured everything out between you.”
“Thanks.” Shepard replied quietly with a small, pleased smile, “And thanks for pushing me to open up to her.” Jane smiled back at him before pushing off the front desk and turning to slap her brother on the back.
“As happy as I am, though, I’m equally uninterested in the details.” They both laughed before returning their focus to the check in process.
The first day was a whirlwind as they got personal effects moved off the Normandy and got it turned over to the work crew to begin repairs. Joker was not thrilled about the prospect of having workers crawling all over ‘his baby’, but the repairs were far too extensive for the crew to be able to handle alone. It required major equipment that they just didn’t have. EDI promised to keep an eye on them, however, which seemed to soothe the pilot somewhat.
The crew quickly dispersed to get shopping and errands finished up with the understanding that Shepard had rented a private room at Afterlife for a party later that night. They deserved a celebration after everything they’d gone through, and he planned to go all out.
The intervening hours for Garrus passed in a blur as he and Jane picked up supplies and indulged in a little retail therapy. There was very little that more guns couldn’t solve, and Omega was admittedly a pretty good place to find those. Jane then picked up another model ship for her collection as well as a new type of fish for her brother’s fish tank.
Garrus even found himself awkwardly seated on Aria’s couch at one point. For an hour or so, he sipped a drink as Jane spent some time catching up with the self-proclaimed queen. He still wasn’t entirely sure whether Aria knew he’d been Archangel or not, and she seemed content to let him wonder.
That evening they made their way to Shepard’s private room at Afterlife to find the party already underway. Cheers went up as they entered, and Jane met the cheers with enthusiasm as she demanded a drink. For once, neither of them cared about their wager, the drinks being happily placed on Shepard’s tab.
“About fucking time, Princess!” Jack yelled from across the room, clearly already having indulged a bit, “These lightweights don’t know how to party!” She beckoned them over, and Garrus nearly stumbled as Jane grabbed his arm and tugged him toward where Jack sat at the bar. The biotic gestured to the barkeeper who poured a series of shots.
Grunt hurried over to grab one as Jane and Garrus both picked up their own, his a different color than the others. Jack grabbed hers while Kasumi, Ken, and Gabby all leaned in to claim one as well.
“To the Normandy! To the best crew, and the best Commander!” Jane exclaimed loudly, eliciting a loud cheer from around the room. They all downed their glasses before smacking them down on the bar top.
Garrus scanned the room, noticing the cheerful banter, relaxed conversation, and overall pleasant atmosphere with a smile. Shepard sat on a couch nearby nursing his own drink, Tali tucked up against his side with a drink of her own, a twisty straw poking up out of the bottle. Legion, Samara, and Miranda stood chatting and a group of crew members danced happily not far away. Tucked into a corner sat Zaeed, Mordin, and Thane talking quietly, and Jacob sat at the end of the bar deep in animated discussion with Jenkins, the two of them having become quite friendly the past few months.
He looked up as Jane placed his favorite drink in his hands, and he thanked her by pulling her close and nuzzling her cheek. She laughed and her hand came up to rest on his arm, her thumb stroking the thinner, sensitive skin reaching up toward his wrist, causing him to shiver.
“Awww! How about a repeat of that display from the other day in the cockpit?” Kasumi cooed, her face breaking into a wide grin, “We want an encore!” Her demand was repeated by a few others throughout the room, causing both of them to look around bemusedly.
“Well, you heard the crowd. Would be a shame to disappoint them.” Jane looked back at him, her eyes seeming to sparkle in the low light. Screw it, Garrus thought as he took a large swig of his drink before setting it down on the bar. Then he grabbed her and twisted them, dipping the same way he had after their daring escape back through the Omega 4 Relay, cutting off her laughter with a kiss.
The room erupted in cat calls, whistles, laughter, and applause, and Garrus righted her before reaching over to grab and finish off the rest of his drink.
“You’re quite the showman, I’m surprised.” Jane chuckled as she picked up her own drink, her other hand wandering until it reached his waist, her fingers pressing lightly into all the right places. He put the empty glass down before grinning at her.
“Ugh, gross.” They both turned to see Shepard approaching them, his face screwed up in playful disgust. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over how weird that is.”
“Don’t start with that again, you ass.” Jane poked him in the chest and he swatted her away.
“I’m allowed to tease my sister for making out with my best friend in public.” Shepard gestured to the barkeeper for a refill before clapping Garrus on the shoulder, “No offense, buddy.”
“None taken, though you might not have room to judge.” Garrus shrugged, failing to hide his grin as he glanced at Tali who was heading in their direction. “Congratulations on that, by the way. Glad you both figured that all out.” Shepard blushed as he smiled, reaching for his newly poured drink.
“Thanks. You were right, by the way. Once we were able to talk about it, it all seemed so… easy. So natural.”
“I’m happy for you both.” Garrus said warmly and Shepard wrapped an arm around him in a one armed hug as he took a sip of his drink.
“You know…” Jane trailed off, her grin gaining a somewhat mischievous glint as she leaned back against the bar, “I had been feeling charitable before, but if you insist on being a pain, then I guess I should show off my newest purchase from earlier.” With that, she pulled up her omni-tool, glancing at Shepard out of the corner of her eye.
“Oh?” Shepard asked hesitantly, as Tali came to stand beside him.
“Did you get a new omni-tool mod or something?” She asked curiously, and Garrus couldn’t help the short bark of laughter as he shook his head.
“Even better.” He stated as he picked up his newly refilled glass, taking a sip as Jane typed a few commands into her omni-tool gleefully. After a pause, she held her hand face up between the group, a small hologram of her brother standing above her palm.
“ Good to meet you! I’m Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy!” The cheerful figure waved its little palm, his voice familiar except about an octave too high.
“What… Is that?” Shepard’s eyes widened as his eyebrows leapt up his forehead in surprised confusion.
“Don’t you remember when we were helping Thane out with Kolyat? Bailey mentioned there was a Commander Shepard VI. Well, turns out you can buy just about anything on Omega.” Jane stated offhandedly, her tone at odds with her smug smile.
The small figure looked up at Shepard, “ Extranet says you’re Alliance Military. Take care of yourself out there, Officer.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Shepard’s expression became less and less amused by the moment, but Tali nearly bounced as she gripped his arm.
“It’s so cute! Where did you get it?” She asked, looking at Jane, whose smile only grew wider.
“ There’s nothing this galaxy can’t beat if we all work together!”
“I’ll get a copy for you.” She said cheerfully as other people nearby began to notice and move closer to see.
“ My personality matrix can predict what the real Commander Shepard would say with seven percent accuracy!”
“I heard about that VI!” Jenkins said animatedly as he joined them, “It was all the rage after, er, well… After everything that happened after the Battle of the Citadel. I thought about getting one, but they cracked down on them pretty fast.”
“Well, for a small fee, everyone here can be the proud owner of an adorable little Commander Shepard.” Jane announced to the group, causing Shepard to groan.
“ I come preinstalled with a flight sim of the SSV Normandy.”
“Now this I’ve got to see.” Joker chimed in from a chair a little ways off, turning in his seat to watch the tiny orange hologram.
“ Got any pets? You look like a varren person.” Jane snorted, bringing her free hand up to cover her mouth as she attempted not to burst into laughter. Shepard brought his hand up to cover his face as it flushed red with embarrassment.
“ Anyone ever tell you you’re one hell of a looker, soldier?” There was a giggle from beside him, and Garrus looked over to see Miranda, of all people, also bringing a hand up to cover her own smile. He had to admit, that was a sound he’d never expected to hear from the usually uptight woman.
“ Don’t be a stranger!”
“I don’t really sound like that, do I?” Shepard asked, his voice almost petulant as Jane tapped some command into her omni-tool, causing the tiny, orange Shepard to turn and salute everyone
“Of course you don’t.” Tali stated in the gentle tone of a mother soothing a ruffled child as she patted his arm kindly. She turned to Jane before whispering, “You need to get me a copy of that. Please .” Jane winked at her as she took another sip of her drink.
“Huh,” Garrus leaned in to get a better look at the tiny hologram, “This was obviously based on images of you prior to the attack on the Normandy SR1.” He looked back up at Shepard, examining his face, “I hadn’t thought about it, but I can’t really see the reconstruction scars at all anymore. They’ve really healed up well.”
“They have, haven’t they?” Shepard smiled as he brought up a hand to rub his cheek, but Jane let out an exaggerated sigh as she shut off her omni-tool.
“Yeah, it’s such a shame. You looked like such a badass, but now you’re back to looking like a boy scout.” Jane stated with mock disappointment before turning to Garrus, lifting a hand to gently pat his scarred mandible. “I’ll console myself that at least one of you is still good looking.” They all shared a laugh and the crowd began dispersing.
The night progressed as shore leave get-togethers usually did, becoming more rowdy and ridiculous as the night wore on. It slowly began morphing into something of a goodbye party, however, when it came out that a few of the ground team soon planned to part ways with the Normandy crew.
Kasumi, Zaeed, Samara, Thane, and Mordin all appeared to have things they needed to take care of now that the mission was over, and planned to depart before the Normandy’s repairs were finished. The prospect of saying goodbye to them was sadder than Garrus expected, and he marveled as he thought back to those first few weeks aboard the Normandy. The team had seemed so disparate, so disconnected, he’d thought it impossible for them to feel like a family.
And yet, here they were. A family. And like last time, they had to part ways. Unexpectedly, it began to feel somehow even more painful than when the team had slowly begun departing the SR1. Garrus supposed it probably had to do with how much longer this mission had lasted, giving them more time to grow together.
The evening stretched on, somehow disappearing in chunks with every blink of the eye. In the morning, it would become nothing more than short, vivid flashes of memory, strung together by blurred impressions and additional drinks.
A tipsy Mordin giving very suspect romantic advice to a terrified looking Jenkins.
Legion hacking the sound system in an short-lived attempt to learn how to DJ.
Samara and Thane showing up the dance floor with an unexpected, impressive display of some sort of asari style dance.
Zaeed loudly attempting to teach Grunt the words to a few rousing drinking songs that seemed to get louder and raunchier the longer they went on, particularly when the krogan seemed to grasp the lyrics.
Jacob and Jack engaging in a series of competitive biotic displays of strength and control that ended only when Shepard had to step in with his own biotics to pull a very disgruntled Gabby off the ceiling as he gave the two a telling off.
Kasumi teaching a fascinated Miranda sleight of hand tricks with a deck of playing cards and Miranda’s tipsy, fumbling attempt to imitate her ending in a spray of cards in the face of a very unamused barkeeper.
Garrus eventually found himself lounging on a couch alongside Jane, playing absently with a lock of her hair as she chatted animatedly with a very drunk Tali, John content with his glass of water beside the happy quarian. The sounds of cheerful, drunken revelry permeated the air as they enjoyed a last hurrah with their departing friends, and Garrus felt something akin to hope in his breast. With a Commander like Shepard, surely the Reapers didn’t stand a chance. And they could have years yet before they arrived.
“Seriously, John,” Jane turned to look at her brother, rolling her eyes, “Let me go get you another drink. This is a celebration, you can’t just sit around drinking water of all things. You’re not allowed to be boring tonight!” Shepard looked at her with a crooked smile.
“Unlike some people , I don’t plan on waking up with a hangover, so I’ll stick to water for now. Thanks. ” He stated dryly before taking a long swig of his water. “How about I get you some, too, so you’re not hating life tomorrow?”
“You’re such a buzzkill, John.” Jane chuckled fondly, “At least you’ve loosened up some and drink a little these days. Back on the SR1, you almost never indulged during shore leave.”
“Do you remember that one time Engineer Adams tried buying him that big pink drink with the cute little umbrella?” Tali asked as she giggled, and Jane nodded as she grinned.
“John looked so torn! He wasn’t sure which would be the worst crime, turning down a gift or setting a bad example. Didn’t you just quietly pass it off to Wrex a few minutes later or something?”
“Look, I didn’t-” Shepard paused suddenly, looking down at his omni-tool which must have pinged. “Thought I set this to priority messages only…” He muttered quietly to himself as he pulled up the screen. Jane and Tali continued talking and laughing, but Garrus watched as John’s face slowly pinched in concern the further he read. Closing his omni-tool suddenly, he carefully extracted himself from Tali, who looked up at him with confusion.
“Is something wrong, Shepard?” Garrus asked, but the other man shook his head placatingly.
“I don’t think so. I’ve just got a call I need to take from an old friend. I’m going to head back to the room for a little privacy, but I’ll come back down as soon as it’s done.” Shepard directed that last bit to Tali, who nodded her head slowly, clearly battling with the drinks in her system to establish an understanding of the situation. Shepard laughed, shaking his head, “Have fun, guys. See you in a little bit.”
With that, he turned and left, the door closing behind him. Jane’s eyes followed him out of the room, her expression considering. “Huh. Wonder what that’s about.”
“I’m not sure,” Garrus stated, interested only until he noticed he’d long since finished his drink, “But how about we grab another drink and join the others on the dance floor?”
The end of the party was a bit of a blur to Garrus, and it wasn’t until they were stumbling back to their room that he started to feel as though he were regaining at least a little of his cognitive ability. A small, wee little bit, at least. It took them quite a while to make the short trip, due in part to their meandering path and the occasional pauses in nooks or alcoves when either of them got a little overly affectionate.
As they finally neared their room, Garrus couldn’t help but feel like some sort of normal happy couple. They’d had as close to a normal day as they’d ever had, and once his head started thinking about it, it was hard to stop. What would a normal future look like for them, anyway?
Would they settle down? Live on the Citadel? Or Earth, perhaps? He knew there were some parts of Earth with warm enough climates to be comfortable for him. Palaven was out of the question, the radiation outside would be too much for Jane, wouldn’t it? Or maybe there was some other small colony that would work for both of them. Would they get jobs? What kind of house would Jane want to live in?
Would they become bondmates? Garrus let his imagination roam as Jane fumbled with her omni-tool, bringing up the code for their room’s lock despite his roaming hands distracting her. Of course he wanted to be Jane’s bondmate someday, and since this was his own little fantasy, he couldn’t see why not. Would they have a normal turian style ceremony, or would she insist on doing it the human way? Or a blended ceremony? That would probably be best. He knew nothing about human customs other than what he’d seen in a few vids, he’d need to do research…
They finally made it into their hotel room, closing the door behind them. The lights were still off, the only illumination the neon lights shining in through the windows. Jane’s arms were wrapped around his neck as he pushed her up against the wall, hiking her legs up as he pressed against her.
Would they have kids? Now that was a harder question to answer. Garrus could imagine raising a few kids with her, and he wondered if she was interested in being a parent someday. Had she ever mentioned it before? His brain was far too fuzzy to begin remembering. Would they adopt? Maybe one human child and one turian. Or was she interested in carrying her own biological child to term? He was sure they could find a doner.
They fell onto the bed, he wasn’t sure where his shirt had gotten to, and Jane seemed to have lost her pants. Had he done that? Damn, he was good.
He could picture growing old with her, retiring somewhere warm and tropical, assuming they didn’t pick somewhere like that to live to begin with. Maybe they’d travel, create some sort of bucket list, all the best sights to see around the galaxy before they died. Maybe they’d have grandchildren to visit, to spoil rotten. Maybe-
Garrus froze, his teeth grazing against the soft, fragile skin of her throat, one hand holding her wrist down as the other ventured up beneath her shirt.
“What’s wrong?” Jane asked between heavy breaths, her desire and anticipation evident. He didn’t bother hiding the wistful smile as it passed across his face briefly.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He murmured into her neck as he continued where he’d left off, savoring the taste of her and attempting to memorize every little gasp and moan she let loose.
Of course they’d never have any of that. He was making castles in the sky. They weren’t normal people living normal lives. They’d probably never be normal, average civilians, and he wasn’t even sure he’d want to be. And even if they were, the Reapers were coming. No one would get to live peaceful, happy lives when they arrived.
There was a long and bloody war looming in their future. Thinking about what-ifs and maybes was a pointless, fruitless, and painful endeavor. They may all have made it through the Collector Base alive, but the chances of all of them making it through the war with the Reapers was slim to none.
Garrus forced the thought from his mind, choosing instead to focus on the beautiful woman whispering his name beneath him.
“I love you, Jane.” He whispered and he felt more than saw her smile as her hand found his, their fingers interlacing.
“I love you, too.”
The week seemed to fly by in a haze of good times and quiet moments, and before they knew it, the Normandy’s repairs were nearly complete. Garrus and Jane began packing up their belongings and prepared to say goodbye to their little slice of normality.
“So, where do we go from here?” Garrus asked absently as he checked over one of his sniper mods before packing it away. “We dealt with the Collectors. What’s the plan now?” Jane paused, looking down at the clothing in her hands absently as she considered the question.
“I’m not sure what John has in mind. I’ve told him that I need to meet with the Council, and I imagine he will need to as well, so my guess is we’ll head to the Citadel next. I’ve submitted my report about everything that happened, and they promised back before this mission even started to let me investigate the Reapers when all of this was done. I plan on doing just that.” She sighed before moving toward her bag and placing the clothing inside, “The Reapers are coming, and none of us are ready.”
“I know. I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Somehow we need to convince people that the threat is real. Hopefully we can use what data we gathered at the Collector Base to help convince them. Then maybe we can start with getting early detection protocols in place to help save as many people as possible when the Reapers finally arrive. We’ll need to start stockpiling supplies, creating safe houses, and thinking up a strategy to beat them.” Jane mused as she continued packing her bag, and Garrus shifted his attention to her fully.
“And what do you think that strategy should be?”
“Well, first off, the galaxy is completely splintered. We can’t win as we are now. The krogans verses the salarians and the turians, the geth verses the quarians, the batarians verses… well, everyone . We need to begin brokering peace between the races so that we can face the Reapers as a galaxy united. I can’t see any other option.” Garrus stared at her as she placed article after article into her bag, and after a moment she looked up at him with a raised brow. “What?”
“Nothing. I’m just impressed, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into this already.” He pointed out evenly, and she shrugged.
“I can’t just sit around doing nothing. I’ve been thinking a lot about what Vasir said, and I’m not going to sit on the sideline through all of this. I’ve been given a fair amount of power and authority as a Spectre, and I’m going to try to use it to do some good for the galaxy. Right now, I think that means doing everything I can to prepare them for the Reapers. Whether they like it or not.” He chuckled as he nodded his head. “What about you? What are your plans?”
“I’m not entirely sure.” Garrus admitted after a minute. If he were being honest with himself, he just wanted to be where she was. The past week had been amazing as they rode the high of completing their mission, but now it was becoming hard to keep daydreams of impossible futures out of his head.
Aloud he only said, “I haven’t given it much thought yet. I was so focused on just making it through the mission. There was a part of me that didn’t really think we were going to make it back alive.” She seemed to understand, but as they returned to packing, it suddenly occurred to him what he really should do next, “Actually, I think I need to go home. Visit my family. See my mom. It might be my last chance.”
Jane paused her packing again, looking up at him as her face fell, “Right, I almost forgot about that with everything that’s happened. She’s not doing well, is she?”
“No. I heard from my sister yesterday, Mom’s been accepted into a new treatment program, but it’s probably too little, too late.”
“Garrus, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Anything we can do? I know John would want to help, too.” She asked earnestly, and Garrus smiled sadly before looking down at his hands as he leaned back in his chair.
“Thanks. But I don’t think there’s much anyone can do at this point. I think I’ve done all I can, and I’ve run away from this longer than I should have. I think I just need to be there with her and say goodbye while I still can.” He heard her as she crossed the room and came to a stop beside him. He looked up just as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling his face into her middle gently.
“I’m so sorry.” She said again, her voice soft, “I can’t pretend to know how it feels. My parents might have died, but it happened so long ago that I don’t even remember them.” Garrus brought his hands up to pull her closer as he leaned into her, the stab of pain unexpected as he truly let himself contemplate the impending death of his mother.
He’d spent a good deal of time actively not thinking about her the past few months, and the pain of it seemed to hit him all at once. He took a deep, ragged breath as he attempted to calm the keening that wanted to erupt from his subvocals.
“Do you think I could come with you to meet your mom and family?” Jane asked hesitantly after a moment, and Garrus froze, wondering if he’d heard her correctly. The sudden thought of bringing a girl home to meet his family was absolutely terrifying. He’d never thought he’d get to that point in a relationship with someone, though that didn’t seem to stop his dad from asking occasionally.
But spirits , he’d love to introduce her to his family. Introducing a significant other into the clan was a big deal in turian culture. He tried to remind himself that it wasn’t nearly as important to humans, but it didn’t stop his racing thoughts. She couldn’t possibly understand what she was asking, it was a tradition generally reserved for couples who were seriously considering becoming bondmates. Could that be something she would actually want to consider with him?
Jane stiffened slightly as she noticed his mild panic, pulling back to look at him with an odd expression he couldn’t place.
“It’s okay, I understand if you don’t want to introduce me to them, forget I asked. I know turian/human relationships aren’t very common, I can see why it would make you uncomfortable.” She pulled back a little further as she looked away, and he had the dawning realization that she must think he was ashamed of her or something equally as ridiculous.
Garrus stood and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He brought his forehead down to rest against hers as she looked up at him.
“Jane, I would be honored to introduce you to my family. But I-” He pulled back slightly as he fumbled with his words, trying to figure out how to explain it in a way that wouldn’t send her running, “I think there’s a cultural difference, though. For turians, bringing your girlfriend home to meet your family has certain… connotations.”
“Oh?” She asked as she raised an eyebrow at him, smiling with amusement as he struggled with sudden embarrassment.
“Y-yeah. It’s, uh, it’s sort of the last big step before a couple decides to get bonded.”
“Bonded… That’s like getting married, right?”
“Yeah, it’s pretty much the same thing. Once a couple has both their parent’s approval, they’re usually considered as intended.” Jane’s eyes slowly widened as she seemed to understand.
“So, it’s like getting engaged.” She finally stated as he pulled back a bit further.
Garrus swallowed, suddenly very nervous, “Yeah.”
“I see.” She said softly as she glanced toward the window, the shimmering lights of Omega reflecting in her eyes like stars. He stood there with his breath trapped in his chest, anxious as he waited for her to continue, anticipating and dreading her reply.
Finally, Jane looked back up at him, “Garrus, I’ve never really seen myself as the wedding kind of person, a little too much pomp and circumstance for me,” She started, and his chest would have tightened with disappointment if not for her small, soft smile and a slight blush, “But I’d really like to meet your family.”
The confusion at what she might be implying must have been visible on his face, or possibly in the hesitant, hopeful flick of his mandibles, because she laughed as she brought her hands up to pull his face down to hers for a kiss.
“I’m not ready for marriage or anything like that right now, not with everything going on. But when all of this is through, cultural differences be damned, I just want to spend the rest of my life with you. One way or another, whether it be relaxing on the beach or going down in a blaze of glory against the Reapers.”
Garrus couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up at that before he leaned down to kiss her again, pulling her close as one hand came up to run through her hair. Something wonderful and painful was happening in his chest, happiness and hope lodging there as his thumb stroked gently down her cheek.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. However long that happens to be.” He whispered as he felt her fingers trace down the plates of his chest through his shirt before playing with the hem. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” Jane replied before squawking with indignant laughter as he bent down and scooped her up, depositing her on the bed with a small bounce.
“We’ve still got a few hours before we have to report back to the Normandy. It would be a shame to waste what little privacy we have left, don’t you think?” Garrus murmured as he tugged his shirt off over his head. She grinned back up at him lazily, her eyes roaming his chest with apparent approval.
“I’m sure John will forgive us if we’re a little late…”
As soon as the last crewmate was accounted for, Shepard ordered the newly repaired Normandy to push back from the dock. Garrus was pleased to see that part of the work done was to have the numerous Cerberus logos removed. It did leave the ship feeling oddly spartan, though, and he wondered if Shepard would have them replaced with Alliance symbols.
Part of it, he decided, was also the reduced crew. Not many had chosen to remain with Cerberus, but the additional lack of Kasumi, Thane, Zaeed, Samara, and Mordin made the loss seem bigger than it was.
There were a number of others that, like himself, seemed slightly unsure as to what their next step should be. Most people agreed that the Normandy’s next docking would probably be the Citadel, and many hoped to have more information about what Shepard’s plan of action might be after that. They seemed to hope that that would, in turn, make their next step an easier choice one way or another.
“So?” Jane finally asked her brother as she leaned against the desk supporting his console by the galaxy map in the CIC, “What’s the plan? I need to meet with the Council soon, so I think we should head for the Citadel.”
“Soon.” Shepard stated, not evening looking up from what he was reading on his console, “I have a little business to handle first, then we’ll head straight for the Citadel. I need to meet with the Council, too.”
Garrus couldn’t help but compare the relaxed, congenial atmosphere aboard the Normandy now with the tense, anxious one they’d had as they’d rushed off to save their crew from the Collectors. Everyone seemed laid back, relaxed, and rejuvenated after their extended shore leave, and not having any life or death missions hanging over their heads made all the difference. They knew that somewhere, far off in dark space, the Reapers approached to begin their slaughter. But it felt like an abstract, far off thing that was easy to push from their minds.
All except Shepard, it seemed. Garrus figured he must be ruminating over the Reapers, for he seemed to become more distant and thoughtful as they neared whatever their destination was. If it wasn’t the Reapers that he was concerned about, Garrus didn’t know what it could be.
No amount of prying from Jane or anyone else seemed to be enough to get Shepard to open up about where they were going, which seemed to aggravate her to no end. She tried a couple different ways to weasel it out of him, but to no success.
“Jane, stop worrying about it.” Shepard finally stated, his voice firm, “It’s nothing big or important, just something I need to take care of quickly. A favor for some old friends.”
“The Bahak system? Why the hell are we out here in the boondocks?” Jane finally asked when they arrived a few days later, but Shepard fobbed off the question with a request for Jane to look into something that needed recalibrating down in engineering. Garrus figured they’d learn what they needed to learn when Shepard called them in for a briefing before whatever this mission was. It wasn’t the first time they’d known next to nothing about a mission prior to arriving. He trusted Shepard to tell them what they needed to know.
Which was why it was surprising when he entered the CIC the next morning to the sound of Jane’s angry voice echoing down the corridor from the cockpit. Garrus quickly made his way to the source of the argument and found Jane all but screaming at an angry faced Joker.
“What the fuck do you mean ‘ no’? You don’t get to hide important information at a time like this!” Jane growled, her face pale despite her obvious fury, “Tell me, or I swear I’ll steal the shuttle and go down there to look for him myself!”
“Jane? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Garrus asked, coming to a stop and holding up a hand to stop her as she took a menacing step toward the seated pilot. She glared up at Garrus, but as their eyes met, he saw a flash of fear cross her face.
“John’s gone. He took the shuttle in the night, and now no one knows where he is. He’s missing.”
Notes:
Happy New Year, all!
Surprise, part 2 is not quite over yet. Just a wee bit to sort out yet. I'm so touched by the warm reception of the last chapter, thank you all so much! It has been some serious fuel on my writing fire. Part 3 is underway, and I'm very excited by how its turning out. See you all next week!
Chapter 51: Part 2: Chapter 26
Summary:
In which Garrus takes command.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 26
The Normandy SR2
“Look, he gave me a set of coordinates and told me to take us there. A planet and a system. That’s it. I don’t know anything else about any of this.” Joker stated as he crossed his arms, and Jane all but snarled as she opened her mouth to retort angrily.
“Hold on,” Garrus held out a hand before her, holding her back as he turned to look at Joker, “What about the shuttle? Where is it? Can we track it?” The other man looked hesitant as he shrugged.
“It’s still down in the cargo bay.” There was a pause before anyone broke the silence that followed.
“Well, fuck.” Jane said with evident frustration, “He didn’t fucking teleport down onto the planet! Someone must have piloted him down and returned the shuttle. Let’s check the logs and-”
“ I have wiped the logs, as per Commander Shepard’s request.” EDI’s glowing blue hologram popped into existence above her pedestal, prompting them all to turn toward her.
“What? Why would he ask you to do that?” Jane snapped as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration.
“ I suspect he was attempting to prevent you from following him. He made it very clear that he must undergo this mission alone.”
“And what is this mission of his, exactly?” Jane with a sneer, crossing her arms. “This isn’t like him, he’s not usually this short sighted.”
“No, you usually have that part covered.” Joker stated sarcastically, causing Jane’s furious glare to shoot back to him.
“Okay, okay.” Garrus stated placatingly, his voice calm and steady, “What about tracking Shepard’s hard suit? His life signs? I’m assuming we tried radioing him?”
“Nothing. He’s completely off the grid.” Jane snapped, running a hand through her hair again as she tried to force herself to calm down.
“ Shepard informed me that he would call in when he was ready for extraction, but that he would be maintaining radio silence until that time. He has directed me to keep all details confidential until he indicates otherwise.” EDI explained, the tone of her voice firm and determined. Garrus noticed a slight tremor in Jane’s right hand before she clenched her fists, taking a deep breath as she shut her eyes. Releasing the breath, she opened her eyes again, the tremor gone. She spun on her heel, leaving the cockpit with a quick, decisive step.
“Wait up,” Garrus followed after, forcing her to stop as she hurried through the CIC, a few heads turning to look at them from various consoles, “What are you planning to do?”
“I’m going to figure out who piloted the shuttle last night, and then I’m going after John.” Jane’s green eyes bore into him, but he held his ground.
“I don’t know why Shepard felt the need to go it alone this time, but we need to trust him. I’m sure he’ll be back soon. Let’s wait for a little while at least, give him a chance before we go full rescue mode on him.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed, but then she looked away angrily. “ Tsk, fine.” She spat, ramming her hands into her pockets. “I don’t like this. This isn’t like him.”
“I know, and I agree. I don’t like it either. But let’s just wait, see what happens.”
“Okay.”
And wait they did.
News of Shepard’s disappearance swept through the ship like wildfire, and though the set of Jane’s jaw and the glint in her eyes gave the impression that she was about to bite someone’s head off, she managed to keep her cool for an entire twelve hour shift.
She kept herself busy by slipping into her brother’s proverbial shoes. She checked in with crew members throughout the decks, allaying fears and ensuring the smooth running of the ship as it maintained a healthy distance from the batarian colony, Aratoht, with stealth systems active. She filled out the necessary logs, worked her way through checklists, and generally refused to stop moving lest she let her own anxiety and fear catch up with her.
During the few moments he managed to snag with her throughout the day, however, Garrus could see how perturbed she was by her brother’s sudden and extended disappearance. At the very least, he managed to convince her to eat and sleep that evening, or at least he could see her laying in her bunk. Whether or not sleep actually managed to find her was another question.
By the twenty four hour mark since the discovery of Shepard’s absence, the crew were struggling to maintain any semblance of normality, despite Jane’s efforts. Whispers, theories, and panic circulated through the ship, many fearing the worst. While many of the remaining ground team were in favor of organizing some sort of search for their Commander, Garrus had no idea how something like that would realistically be accomplished given their lack of information. No one could figure out where he’d gone, and EDI was still refusing to give up any hints. They couldn’t very well search the entire planet, and making their presence known to the batarians could cause an intergalactic incident.
Tali seemed most struck by Shepard’s disappearance, a mixture of anxiety for his well being and disappointment in him not confiding in her slowly morphed into a near debilitating despair as their powerlessness quickly became apparent. She was determined to continue on with the daily work of calibrations and maintenance, however it quickly became apparent that she was flagging as lack of sleep and proper meals began taking their toll on her. Jane and Garrus finally managed to convince her to try laying down in Shepard’s bed, where she eventually managed to fall asleep as Jane gently rubbed her back.
“Glad you finally got her to sleep,” Garrus whispered as Jane pulled a light blanket up over the exhausted quarian, “She really needed it.” He watched as she stood and stretched, noting the dark circles under her eyes. “Why don’t you lay down, too? You must be exhausted.” Jane’s eyes hardened as she looked away.
“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” She stated dully, and he felt his hope flag slightly. With that, she took the steps up out of the bedroom, pausing suddenly as she passed Shepard’s console on his desk. “Huh…”
“What is it?” Garrus asked as he paused beside her, but she said nothing as she stepped forward, sitting slowly in the empty chair.
“Nothing, probably. But maybe…” She flicked the console on, her fingers flying across the controls.
“Maybe? Maybe what?” But she ignored him, or perhaps didn’t even hear him as she focused on what was before her. Garrus stood there watching her for a moment in silence.
“Goddamnit, EDI…” She hissed quietly to herself after a minute or two, but the AI chose not to respond.
“I’m going to go get some food. I’ll bring you up a tray.” He stated after a moment, but got no response. He turned and started for the elevator, finally hearing a distracted response.
“Okay, thanks.” She called after him in a tone that plainly stated she hadn’t completely processed what he was saying, and he smiled before hitting the elevator holo button, the door to the Commander’s cabin closing.
When Garrus returned some time later, levo rations on a tray in one hand, a dextro nutrient paste tube for Tali and a datapad in the other, he found both women completely unchanged from how he’d left them. He placed the tray on the desk next to Jane, where it went completely unnoticed, and quietly placed the tube on the bedside table. He then sat down on the couch with his datapad and began scrolling through some documentation he’d been meaning to brush up on.
Garrus blinked, looking up. He caught a glimpse of the time from the clock on the bedside table and realized two hours had passed since he’d sat down. Tali was still sound asleep, and he heard a whispered curse from the vicinity of the desk that told him Jane was still where he’d left her. Standing with a stretch, Garrus quietly made his way to stand just beside Jane where she continued to sit, typing into the console furiously. The rations were still untouched on the tray nearby.
“Okay, I have to ask. What are you doing?” She finally paused at his question, blinking as she looked up at him.
“Trying to get into John’s files. But EDI is being an asshole and is keeping me out. I’m trying to find a work-around.” She explained before turning her attention back to the console.
“ As we have discussed, I cannot allow you to access Shepard’s personal files, it would be an invasion of his privacy.” EDI explained, her voice’s volume lowered so as not to disturb Tali’s rest. “ I believe it would be wrong.” Jane’s brows furrowed, but she declined to reply, instead returning to her work.
“Whatever this is about, I suspect it has something to do with that call he got during the party on Omega. Whoever it was from, John was concerned about something from that point onwards. I’m convinced it's whatever this mission is about, and I’m going to figure it out.”
“I feel the need to point out how pointless it is to try getting past EDI’s defenses.” Garrus said slowly, only receiving a glare in response. “How about you eat something?” He picked up a protein bar off the tray, opening it before holding it out to her. After a moment, she absently held out a hand, taking the bar as he placed it on her palm. He sighed with some small amount of relief as she took a bite of it before putting it down, and he returned to the couch, taking up his datapad again.
Time continued flowing, minutes ticking away into hours. Jane continued at the console, and he was determined to stay awake while she remained so. But eventually it became a battle to keep his eyes open. Numerous times, Garrus attempted to convince her to sleep, but each time he ran into the same stone wall of determination and damned human obstinacy.
Eventually he drapped a thin blanket over her shoulders and returned to the couch, yawning as he sat down, and reached for his datapad again. He pulled up the specs for the Thanix Cannons in order to-
Garrus’ eyes snapped open. Groaning, he sat up and looked around groggily, confused as he attempted to process his surroundings. Reality began piecing itself together as he realized Tali was no longer asleep in Shepard’s bed, and Garrus shifted from where he was curled up uncomfortably on the couch.
A light blanket slipped off of him, and he vaguely recognized it as the same one he’d draped over Jane’s shoulders not long ago. Smiling, he realized she must have brought it over for him when he dozed off. He hoped she had gotten a little rest herself, though he wouldn’t be surprised to see her passed out at the desk nearby.
Standing, Garrus stretched and groaned again as his back twinged. He was getting too old to sleep on couches, especially uncomfortable ones. He made his way up the stairs, turning to the desk.
“...Jane?” He looked around, realizing he was alone. He glanced back at the bed to be sure it was actually empty, which it was. He scanned the room, finding no one, and even checked the bathroom. Perhaps she’d gone down to the crew deck to rest? Or perhaps she’d decided to focus on a less fruitless project. He started for the door.
“ Jane left approximately three hours ago.” Garrus froze at EDI’s sudden, unexpected intrusion into his thoughts.
“Okay, thank you EDI. Do you know where I can find her?”
“ You misunderstand my meaning. I did not mean to imply that she left Shepard’s quarters three hours ago. I meant that she left the Normandy approximately three hours ago.”
“ What ?” Garrus snapped, his blood running cold at the AI’s words. “Why would she leave on her own? Did she find something?” He tried to prevent himself from yelling, but it was hard. And why did she leave without me? He couldn’t help the questions running through his head, the hurt, confusion, and panic rising quickly in his breast.
“ I do believe she left you a message before she boarded the shuttle. I witnessed her recording it, and I believe it should be in your personal files.” Hurrying, Garrus pulled up his omni-tool, forcing himself to breath as he noticed one unopened message from Jane blinking up at him. He tapped it, forcing himself to take another steady breath.
A video screen immediately popped open, Jane’s face looking up at him with tired, shadowed eyes. She ran an armored hand through her hair as she sighed.
“ Garrus, I’m so sorry. I know I’m doing exactly what John just did, and you’re probably angry at me. I hope you’ll forgive me, but I need you to trust me.” She looked away from the screen for a moment as she paused before continuing.
“I got into John’s files, or at least some of them. I managed to get his console disconnected from the network, which prevented EDI from stopping me from piecing together enough of the story to figure out what happened. It’s a very sensitive Alliance matter, and someone very high up asked that John not bring anyone else into it.”
Jane paused again, and Garrus couldn’t help but notice how exhausted she looked. “ I’m going to respect that John wanted to keep this as confidential as he could, which is why I’m going after him alone. I can get in and out of there more quickly and quietly on my own.” She paused before smiling wryly, “ No offense, Big Guy. But I’ll stay in contact when I can. I’ll bring him back with me, one way or another.” Her eyes were cold, glinting chips of steel as her face set with determination. A moment later, she softened again as she added, “ I love you. I’ll be back soon .” The message cut out, and he cursed.
“EDI, where’s the shuttle now?” Garrus as he hurried through the doors and into the elevator.
“ The shuttle was returned to the cargo bay, but I cannot recommend that you go after her.”
“Why the fuck shouldn’t I?” He snarled, an anger boiling up in him that he hadn’t felt the like of since before the incident with Sidonis on the Citadel.
“ Because we recently received a ping from Jane’s suit’s locator. She is no longer down on Aratoht’s surface.” EDI explained with her usual even voice, somehow managing to only infuriate Garrus more.
“Then where under the spirits is she?” The doors popped open to reveal the CIC and heads turned in alarm as he hurriedly stormed into the cockpit.
“ We tracked her to an asteroid cluster, not far from this system’s relay. However, we are unsure where she currently is. We have no further clues to go off of until she pings us again.”
“Goddammit. Why did you let her go alone?” He demanded as he stopped behind Joker’s chair, “Something is clearly wrong if Shepard has been gone this long, it's been well over two days. You should have said something or-” The pilot’s chair swiveled around, bringing a peeved Joker into view.
“How come I’m the one who keeps getting yelled at every time a Shepard goes and does something stupid and reckless? What makes you think I have any control over either of them?” Garrus forced himself to back down, forced himself to breathe.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Joker.” He brought one hand up to rub his eyes as he placed his other fist on his waist in weary resignation. “Where are we now?”
“Still a little ways out, probably about an hour away from the edge of the asteroid cluster still.” Joker stated as his chair spun back around, “We only got the ping a little while ago, but we started in that direction as soon as we got it.”
“Understood. Keep me updated, let me know when we enter the asteroid cluster.” After a pause, he realized he should probably update everyone else just in case Jane called for backup. “Also, can you call the ground team to the comm room so I can brief them on the developments?”
Joker turned just enough to peer at him, his expression mildly surprised. A small crooked smile graced his face with a single quirked eyebrow. “Yes, sir.” He stated with a hint of amusement, though not mockery, in his voice as he settled back in his seat. Garrus realized with sudden embarrassment that he’d swooped in and snatched up command of the ship.
“Thanks.” Was all he managed as he turned and left.
After explaining the most recent events to the shocked and increasingly anxious team, Garrus didn’t know what to do with himself as they waited. He suited up and instructed the rest of the team to as well, just in case they were needed. After that, he thought he’d try his hand at Shepard’s console to see if he could piece together whatever Jane had found. But after realizing she’d reconnected it to the ship’s network, he gave up and began pacing instead. After feeding the fish, he gave up on that as well, instead choosing to find something useful to do.
In the end, though, he was incapable of focusing on anything in the main battery, so he paced the crew deck instead as he failed to find anything even remotely distracting in either observation deck.
“ Garrus, you’d better get up here.” He jumped as Joker’s voice caught him pacing a hole in the mess hall floor. He darted for the elevator, cursing its speed with every fiber of his being. His whole body itched with the frantic desire to scream, break something, or both.
“What is it, what’s happened?” Garrus nearly yelled as he skidded to a halt behind Joker’s chair.
“There’s something massive in this asteroid belt, the scopes just lit up like a christmas tree.”
“Like a what ?” Garrus felt his head cock to the side in confusion at the term.
“Nevermind.” Joker sighed, his fingers hurrying over the holo display as he pulled up a series of graphs, “Point is, something with some massive engines just powered up.”
“Are we able to make anything else out?”
“We’re only picking up the energy signature right now, but...” Joker trailed off, zooming in on the screen displaying the huge spike of energy.
“ It would need to be many times the size of the Destiny Ascension, based on its energy output.” EDI chimed in, causing Garrus’ jaw to pop open.
“How-” He swallowed before continuing, “How can that be? Who’s ship is it? Is it a Reaper?” This had to be it. Whatever this massive ship was, it had to be whatever Shepard was sent here for. It had to be where Jane was going.
“We can’t make anything out yet, but we’ll get closer so we can do a proper scan. Honestly, it seems to be the size of a small planet.” Joker stated quickly as he pulled up a few other displays, his fingers flicking between them.
“Okay, but keep stealth systems active. Whatever it is, we don’t want it to know we’re here. Bring us in carefully.”
“Aye aye.” Joker stated quickly without argument, once again causing Garrus to blink in surprise. As they started in the direction of whatever was lighting up their scopes, he remained in the cockpit, his arms crossed as his attention flicked between the windows and the display screens.
Something was happening. Something big . It infuriated him that they were left guessing and wondering, speculating from the sidelines as Shepard and Jane put their lives on the line for whatever this was. Worries crept up his spine, settling under his shoulder blades, pinching his brow plates as he glared at the displays in absent thought.
Time dragged onward, impossible to judge unless he bothered checking a clock. His apprehension and foreboding caused it to pass in the blink of an eye, while at the same time his impatience and restlessness caused it to drag and dilate.
Miranda showed up eventually, and he explained the situation. Without argument, she joined in the silent vigil as they approached… whatever it was.
Was this it? Were the Reapers here? Was this the beginning of the end? He had to find Jane and Shepard, they couldn’t-
“You’re not going to believe this!” Joker sat upright and leaned forward. Garrus gripped the side of the chair as he leaned in as well.
“What? What is it?” Miranda asked urgently as she peered over their shoulders.
“It’s… an asteroid! ” Joker stated with laugh, his voice caught between disbelief, amusement, and awe.
“How can that be possible? How is it moving? And with that much power?”
“It seems to have thrusters,” Joker speculated, “So there must be an eezo core or something. It’s not just moving forward, it’s been slowly changing direction. It probably has a guidance system installed. I can’t even begin to speculate what the purpose of this is, though. It’s still picking up speed, it’s downright insane .”
“ We will be within visual distance soon. I am tracking its trajectory and will be able to make a better estimation of its purpose in a few minutes, as it still appears to be correcting its angle.” EDI said from her pedestal and Garrus peered out the window.
The cockpit was silent as they continued their journey toward the asteroid, but after a few minutes, Garrus could have sworn he saw a pinpoint flash of bright blue before it was blocked from view again.
“ I have calculated what I believe the asteroid’s most likely course to be.” EDI stated after a minute, but then seemed to hesitate before continuing, “ My conclusion is… worrisome.”
“Where is the asteroid going?” Garrus asked with mounting apprehension, unsure what could possibly cause an AI to experience discomfort or fear.
“ If the asteroid continues on its current trajectory, it will collide with this system’s mass relay.”
“You have got to be shitting me!” Joker exclaimed, his eyes wide as he glanced at the AI, his expression as horrified as Garrus’ own.
“I thought mass relays were indestructible, what would happen if they were to collide?” Garrus asked with trepidation, his heart beginning to hammer insistently within his chest.
“There is no known documentation of a mass relay having been destroyed, but that does not necessarily mean it is impossible. With the size of this asteroid and the rate of acceleration, it is very likely that it will cause catastrophic damage when it collides.”
“Shiiiiit.” Joker groaned, and Garrus couldn’t help but agree.
“ To make matters worse, mass relays are, in effect, the largest mass effect engines in the galaxy. The amount of energy stored within them is unimaginable. Destroying one would likely resemble a star going supernova in total energy output.”
The words reverberated through the silent cockpit as cold dread set in.
“It’s going to destroy the entire system,” Garrus whispered, and the reality of their situation settled hard upon their shoulders, “And us with it.”
EDI continued on, discussing her calculations for the asteroid’s speed at time of impact, estimation of time remaining, and the likely resulting energy output, but Garrus only barely registered the numbers. His mind was rushing through possibilities, plans, and fears.
He needed to get down to the asteroid’s surface and find the Shepards. But what if they weren’t there? What if they’d gone somewhere else? What if there was some other base of operations on a nearby asteroid where it was being piloted from? What if he took the shuttle down to the asteroid to look for them, leaving it unavailable when they called for a pick up?
There was no right answer. He’d never envied Shepard these sorts of difficult decisions. Swallowing, Garrus squared his shoulders and tried to look less terrified than he felt.
“Get us closer to that asteroid, we need to get scans if we can. We’ll wait as long as we can in hopes of hearing from Shepard or Jane, but we’ll need to leave with enough time to make it through the relay before the impact. Keep trying to make contact with them on the usual channels.” He stated firmly, recognizing his tone from his days as Archangel. Miranda turned to glance at him, her expression weighing before she nodded.
“I agree.” Was all she said, turning to look at the readouts again.
Time continued to tick by, the seconds seeming to echo like a gong in his head, beating in time with his heart as it seemed to smash against his ribcage. The light from the thrusters was so intense that the brightness made it seem closer than it actually was. They waited with tense anticipation as the asteroid slowly became recognizable.
“That thing must really be massive if we can see it so clearly already,” Joker murmured as he piloted the Normandy between two smaller nearby asteroids, “I don’t see how-” He was cut off as a new display popped up before him.
“ We’ve received a ping from Jane.” EDI informed them a half second later, and Garrus felt the beginnings of hope blossom.
“Yeah, but it’s completely garbled, we’re lucky to have received it at all.” Joker grumbled as he enlarged the display, numbers flying as he scanned the data. “I think the transmission is being blocked by something. I can’t tell, these numbers are… odd. If there’s something down there causing issues with communication, that would explain why we haven’t heard anything from them yet.”
“Did the signal come from down on the asteroid?” Garrus asked sharply, and Joker shrugged his shoulders non committedly.
“It’s hard to say, it was really garbled. Like I said, I’m surprised we received anything at all.”
“Okay.” Garrus took a deep breath as he ordered his thoughts, narrowing his eyes, “Joker, keep us on course toward the asteroid. Miranda, grab a team and get to the shuttle. Be ready, we might not have much time.” He glanced through the window, the bright speck that was the mass relay coming into view beyond the asteroid.
“Of course.” She stated simply before turning and hurrying to the elevator as she pulled up her omni-tool.
Seconds and minutes oozed by in a thick, viscous manner that made Garrus want to scream. Having heard something, anything , from Jane taught him to hope, if only a little. It also had the effect of opening a whole new can of worries and concerns. It became nearly impossible to rip his eyes away from the horrific sight before them as both the asteroid and relay continued to grow larger. The Normandy continued to dodge between massive rocks, some the size of Kodiak shuttles, some the size of small planetoids.
The sound of static breaking over the comm channel shattered the silence, and the voice that followed would have brought tears to his eyes if he’d been capable of producing them.
“ Jane to Normandy-” She hissed in pain before continuing, her voice ragged, “ Joker, do you- ” She cut out suddenly as though the connection was cut abruptly, and Garrus gripped the edge of Joker’s chair in desperation as he lurched forward to jam his finger into the button to open the mic.
“Jane! Come in, Jane! Do you read?” Garrus attempted to keep his near panic out of his voice, failing miserably in the case of his subvocals. He tried to convince himself that there was just something wrong with the comm channel, or she’d been distracted, or-
He ran through a half dozen possible reasons for why her transmission had been cut short, forcing his imagination away from the darker possibilities. Joker continued trying to hail her, but there was nothing but static on the line.
“Dammit.” The pilot cursed, his hands flicking through various communication displays.
“ The transmission came from the asteroid’s surface.” EDI pointed out after a moment, and Garrus felt his jaw clench even as his hope soared.
“Okay. Get us in there, let’s bring them home.” Garrus growled as he glanced through the window at the approaching asteroid, the thrusters nearly blinding at this proximity. He radioed down to Miranda and told her to standby.
“Nevermind the shuttle,” Joker said distractedly as he pulled up their most recent scans, “I think I can bring us in close enough to get them through the airlock.”
“Do it.” Was all Garrus said, his grip tightening painfully on the chair back.
The static on the comm channel cleared suddenly, and Joker tried again, “Jane, Normandy inbound for pickup.” He stated firmly as they came up along the side of the asteroid.
“ Roger that. ” Garrus couldn’t help the sharp intake of breath as they heard Shepard’s strained voice reply. The Normandy quickly began to decelerate, coming in close as they neared the front of the asteroid.
“Bring us as close as you can, I’ll meet them at the airlock.” Garrus directed as he turned and hurried for the airlock, grabbing up his helmet and jamming it on his head. He closed the inner door behind himself and waited with baited breath until Joker opened the outer door.
The door snapped open, and Garrus almost felt light headed with relief as he saw Jane and Shepard, both helmeted and hurrying toward him. Jane was nearly dragging Shepard along as he limped, favoring his right leg, his right arm slung over Jane’s shoulders.
Then he registered the blood. And there was a lot of it. Shepard’s chest plate was soaked in it, crusty and brown as though it were days old, an impact hole near his left shoulder. Worse was Jane, whose entire right side was drenched in blood from the waist down. There was a bullet hole in her midriff, and from the apparent loss of blood, he was amazed she was conscious, let alone moving.
His eyes were caught by the impending mass relay, huge as it loomed closer.
“Hurry!” Garrug shouted to them, getting a hand hold and reaching out to the siblings as they ran. As soon as they were in reach, he grabbed Shepard’s other arm, pulling him inside. As soon as they both stumbled into the airlock, Garrus smashed the holo button to shut the door, and he felt the Normandy begin to accelerate again.
Turning, he saw Jane wobble slightly, Shepard’s arm still draped over her shoulders.
“Garrus.” She murmured as her eyes seemed to roll backwards behind the glass of her helmet. She crumpled, and he jerked forward to catch her just before she hit the floor, Shepard struggling to find his footing with his support suddenly gone.
“Jane, wake up. Come on. Please.” Garrus pleaded as he examined her. Besides the bloody wound in her side, he could also see blood on her face inside her helmet. He refocused his gaze to see the readout on his visor and quickly read through her vitals.
“Grab her, we need to hurry.” Shepard muttered, his voice tight as he limped through the inner airlock door, making for the cockpit. Garrus positioned his arms under Jane, pulling her close as he lifted her up, holding her against his chest. Standing, he hurried after Shepard. The mass relay loomed before them, the glow soaking them all in a cool blue.
“Get us out of here, Joker!” Shepard snapped as he stopped beside the pilot’s chair, leaning against it for support. They picked up speed, the mass relay becoming larger and larger until it took up the entire window. They came up alongside it, and just before he felt the tug of the mass relay catching them up, Garrus turned to look out the other window. His blood froze as he saw the asteroid coming ever nearer, faster than they ever could have imagined.
Space seemed to elongate around them as they were flung safely away from the relay. They stood there in silence for a moment, and they felt the weight of an entire system being wiped out. Shepard seemed to wilt where he stood, and Garrus felt his eyes widen. That entire batarian colony-
“Shepard!” Garrus turned to see Tali whip past him, coming to a stop before the Commander as he turned slowly to face her. He grabbed her and pulled her into a close hug, not saying a word. “Are you okay? What happened? Where- Oh, Keelah ! You’re bleeding!” She gasped, but he didn’t respond as he pulled away.
“Garrus, get her down to Chakwas.” Shepard stated as he nodded at Jane laying slumped in Garrus’ arms, her dead weight feeling eerily familiar after the events in Morinth’s apartment all those months ago.
Without needing further encouragement, he turned on his heel and hurried toward the elevator, her blood loss causing concern and fear to rise quickly as they left behind the danger of the Bahak system.
As he stood in the slow moving machine, the silence slowly wormed into his gut. It was broken by a slow drip, drip, drip , and he looked down with growing alarm at the puddle of red at his feet. He tried to fight the taste of bile in the back of his throat as he willed the elevator to move faster.
The doors finally opened and he took off running.
“Garrus? Wha-?” Chakwas exclaimed as he stumbled into the medbay, her eyes landing on the armored body clutched in his arms, “Get her up on a bed, we need to get that armor off her.” She stated urgently before instructing EDI to shutter the windows. Carefully, he laid Jane down on one of the beds and began assisting the doctor as she began carefully peeling the armor off, piece by piece.
He heard his own sharp intake of breath as he removed her helmet, blood coating one side of her face in half dried streams. Garrus tried not to panic, realizing she had some sort of head wound. Head wounds always looked worse than they were, but it looked pretty damn bad from where he stood.
As each new piece of armor was removed, Garrus’ dread continued to grow, the whole picture of her wounds becoming apparent. Chakwas had already ripped parts of Jane’s undersuit away as she began tending to the gunshot wound.
Having served the extent of his helpfulness, Garrus was promptly ordered out of the medbay, but he didn’t drift far as he paced by the door. Events had spiraled so far out of his ability to cope the past few days. The atmosphere of life on the Normandy had gone from celebratory, jubilant, and relaxed to confused, anxious, and dire in what seemed like the blink of an eye. It’d all started, like Jane had pointed out, with the call Shepard had gotten when they’d arrived on Omega.
“Is she going to be alright?” Garrus looked up to see Shepard and Tali turn the corner from the elevator, Shepard leaning heavily on the smaller quarian.
“I… I don’t know. There was a lot of blood.” Garrus stated, his dull voice disheartened as he looked at his feet, feeling sick as he noticed the drying human blood coating his own hard suit. His subvocals were a confusing mess of emotions, he didn’t even know how he felt. More and more, though, he seemed to be feeling a cold numbness seeping into his bones. He was so tired and so drained.
“I need to get in there.” Shepard said urgently, and the other two moved forward toward the medbay. Garrus swallowed the sudden, unexpected upsurge of anger at the other man, and followed them into the room. He didn’t know why Shepard had disappeared or what had happened, but he needed to wait for some sort of explanation before he placed blame. It was hard, especially given the pain of knowing that he hadn’t trusted any of them enough to include them. But he must have had a good reason for his actions.
“Garrus, I told you to wait in the-” Chakwas glanced over her shoulder, doing a double take as she registered the group entering. “Get him up on the other bed there. You’ll need to wait until I’m finished stabilizing Jane.” With that, she returned her focus to the bloody mess before her as she worked to rectify the damage, the medbay’s robotic arms assisting where they could.
“Jane!” Shepard gasped as he jerked forward toward his sister, stopping only when Garrus joined in Tali’s attempt to keep him back.
“Shepard, give her space to work. You won’t do Jane any good if you distract Chakwas now.” Tali murmured gently and Shepard soon stopped fighting them. He allowed them to lead him to a cot on the other side of the room, and together they began helping him out of his armor. “Keelah, these look awful!” Tali exclaimed as she fingered the hole in his chest plate.
“It looks worse than it is. They treated most of my older wounds when I was under.” Shepard stated distractedly as he watched Chakwas work, his face blanching by the moment.
“While you were under …?” Tali asked, alarm in her voice as her head snapped up, “Shepard, what happened? Why did you leave without saying anything?” The hurt and reproach in her voice echoed Garrus’ own feelings, and he busied himself by continuing with the latches on the other man’s hard suit.
Shepard tore his eyes away from his sister’s unconscious body, but his gaze seemed to drift aimlessly, his eyes unfocused and haunted. Garrus helped him get his arm out of his undersuit, and Shepard winced as he rolled his otherwise unharmed shoulder. There was crusty blood all over the armor, but he seemed to be right about having received medical treatment since the wound had happened.
The Commander sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as he let loose a ragged breath he’d been holding, bringing a hand up to run over his short buzzed hair. Letting his hand fall back down again, he opened his eyes, and Garrus recognized the tiredness he saw there. His mind was instantly transported to the days he spent struggling during the ordeal in that apartment on Omega following the deaths of his team.
“I’m so sorry, guys. None of this went how I thought it would. Over 300,000 people just died on that colony and I-” Shepard’s breath hitched as he paused, taking a deep breath as he struggled to master himself, “I’m sorry. I put you all in danger by getting us mixed up in all of this, but I didn’t have a choice. The Reapers were coming, I had to delay them if I could.”
“W hat ?” Garrus and Tali exclaimed, and even Chakwas looked up sharply before returning to her work, blood covering the front of her uniform. Garrus felt his fingers fumble as he helped unbuckle the damaged plate covering Shepard’s injured thigh, causing him to hiss in pain.
“Tell us what happened.” Tali insisted, and after a moment, Shepard nodded.
“When we were on Omega, I got a call from Admiral Hackett.” He began as Garrus and Tali finished helping him out of his gear and began administering first aid. “What I’m going to tell you can’t leave this room. That includes you, EDI.”
“ Understood .” The AI said simply, and Shepard continued.
“Hackett told me about an agent of theirs positioned deep within batarian territory who had been tasked with tracking down a rumor about Reaper tech in that system. She’d been caught and ended up in a batarian prison, and he asked me to break her out. He requested that I handle it alone and inform no one else. I wouldn’t have excluded you guys for anything less, and even now I regret having gone in there by myself. If not for Jane, I don’t know what would have happened. I still have no idea how she knew where to find me.”
“She hacked into your files and must have figured out where you’d gone.” Garrus pointed out, but Shepard still looked confused.
“That doesn’t explain how she knew to find me on Project Base.”
“...hn….” Consciousness began tickling the back of his mind.
“....ohn…..” His head was swimming and his eyes felt like lead weights, but he recognized that voice from somewhere.
“John!” The world jerked as he was shaken, and John managed to open his eyes. Everything was washed out and blurry as he struggled to force his vision to focus.
“What?” He asked slowly, his eyes darting around as he began to recognize the sight before him as a ceiling. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton, his tongue the size of a car and as rubbery as a sea cucumber. A head appeared in his line of sight, the shock of vivid red hair recognizable even while blurry. “Jane?”
“Come on, get your lazy ass off this table. Move, soldier!” She snapped angrily as she grabbed his arm, but it felt like someone else’ body she was tugging. He looked down, realizing she had him sitting up, but he didn’t recognize the legs attached to his body. Were those his? Did he even have legs? His whole body felt like jelly. He was going to be sick.
“What’s… going on?” John asked slowly as Jane got him onto his feet, wobbling before she caught him.
“I was hoping you could tell me that.” She hissed furiously just as an alarm went off, causing her to curse under her breath.
“Where are we?” He looked around, blinking as his vision slowly began to clear. It was some sort of lab. Something was wriggling in the back of his mind, something… important.
“On a fucking asteroid. There’s some kind of merc force here. I have no idea what the fuck is going on, and you’re going to tell me.” Jane slung his arm over her shoulders and made for the door. He noticed the bodies of an unconscious scientist and two guards strewn about on the floor.
An asteroid…?
The events of the past few hours rushed into him like a blow to the head and he reeled. Dr. Kenson, the prison, the escape, the asteroid, the artifact…
The Reapers.
Frantically, his eyes began scanning the room, desperate to find one of the clocks that had littered the base during his pseudo tour hours earlier.
2 hours, 3 minutes, 23 seconds. 22 seconds. 21 seconds-
Not hours ago - days ago.
They’d drugged him, left him laying there for nearly two days. Why hadn’t they killed him? They’d clearly been indoctrinated by the Reaper artifact, or at the very least, Dr. Kenson had been.
Dr. Kenson. Where was she now? There wasn’t much time left. Could they get the Project activated in time? Before the Reapers arrived?
“John?” Jane asked hesitantly, “What’s going on? What is this place, and why did you come here?” He tried standing on his own, thanking the heavens when his legs held his weight.
“Help me find my gear and I’ll tell you everything I know.”
“Welcome to Project control.” The VI stated as they approached the control console, ticking timers and data displays staring down at them. John took a half step forward.
“We want to activate the Project.” He stated concisely, and instantly warnings popped up on the holo screen before them.
“Warning: Activating the Project will result in an estimated three hundred five thousand casualties. Do you wish to continue?”
“Fuck.” Jane whispered beside him, lifting a hand up to run through her hair. A large, red holo button glowed up at them from the console. John lifted a hand, but then faltered. He looked away, shifting hesitantly as the implications came swarming in.
Could he do it? Could he murder over 300,000 people? It was for a good cause, the galaxy wasn’t ready for the Reapers. Billions were going to die when they arrived and they needed every moment to prepare they could muster.
But what if… What if he really was wrong about all of it? What if the Reapers really were a figment of his imagination? What if he really had fallen for some elaborate ruse created by Saren to confuse him? Was he about to murder all these people for no reason?
But no. Everything they’d seen with the Collectors, the human Reaper core they’d destroyed… There’s no way he dreamt all that up. The Reapers were real, and that artifact had proven to him that they were coming. Everything he’d seen, everything they’d accomplished, he wasn’t making it up. They were real.
The red button glowed green as Jane’s hand smashed into it. John’s eyebrows shot up as he looked at her, and she turned to look at him, her eyes determined.
“We can’t hesitate.” She snapped, but as she stared at him, John swore he could see a faint glassiness in her eyes, “The Reapers are coming, and we need to get out of here. Now.”
“Jane-” The floor jerked violently and they were nearly knocked over as the engines ignited.
“Project activation in process. Warning: Collision with mass relay is imminent. Begin evacuation procedures.”
“We need to warn the batarians.” John pulled up his omni-tool, immediately attempting to secure a connection with the colony.
“You do that, I’m going to radio the Normandy. Hopefully they can get here in time even with the asteroid field.”
“Alert: All colonists living in the Bahak system. This is-”
“Shepard! No!” The frenzied face of Dr. Kenson appeared on the screen before them. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? You leave me no choice. If we can’t stop this asteroid, it must be destroyed!" John glared at her before directing his attention to the VI again.
“ Tell me where to find Doctor Amanda Kenson.”
John groaned, pain intruding suddenly upon the peaceful blackness of oblivion.
“Warning: Collision imminent.” A synthetic voice echoed through the confines of his head, the pain vibrating in time with it.
“Jane?” He muttered as he slowly began propping himself up on his elbows. Looking around in confusion, he began piecing together what had happened. They’d made it down to the reactor, coming face to face with an enraged Dr. Kenson. She’d pulled out a detonator, then Jane had shot her, but he didn’t remember anything after that other than pain.
“Warning: Collision imminent.” The VI stated again. John began pulling himself up, but cried out in pain as he put weight on his right leg.
“Jane? Where are you?” He called out again, worry beginning to trickle in as he received no reply. He tried again, managing to carefully pull himself to a sitting position. As he turned around, he saw her slumped against the wall, blood trickling down one side of her face. “Jane!”
“Warning: Collision imminent.”
She groaned, and John grit his teeth as he pulled himself over to her. He pulled up his omni-tool, but of course they hadn’t refilled his medi-gel after they’d knocked him out in the room with the Reaper artifact.
“Come on, I need you to wake up, Jane.” John brought his hands up to cup her cheeks, rubbing a trickle of blood away. She groaned again, and then her eyes flickered open. “There you are. Stay with me.”
“John? What-?”
“Come on, we need to get moving.” She blinked at him, but suddenly her eyes widened in understanding. She glanced up, and he turned to see the count down.
29 minutes, 56 seconds.
“Warning: Collision imminent.”
Jane winced, but slowly began pulling herself up the wall. She then helped him up, and together they hobbled to the control console, his arm slung over her shoulders as he limped.
“Joker, this is Shepard. We need a pickup. Now.” Nothing but static answered him. “Damnit.”
“Evacuation protocols in effect. All personnel report to escape shuttles.” The VI stated evenly, and Jane shifted as she glanced about the room.
“Where can we find an escape shuttle?” Jane asked aloud, and the VI answered.
“Take the lift from this room to the external access. From there, proceed to the communications tower. The remaining escape shuttles will be located on the tower’s landing pad.”
“Come on, we need to hurry. Our only chance is getting to that comm tower and taking a shuttle.” She grunted, pulling John along as they made their way to the elevator.
“We made it to the landing pad just in time to see the last shuttle leave. I was starting to give up hope, particularly after that hit Jane took as we fought a YMIR mech. But we managed to get the comm tower open again, which was when Jane tried to radio you the first time.” John recounted before sighing with relief as Tali massaged some medi-gel into his injured leg.
“Yeah, I remember that. She was cut off suddenly.” Garrus said as he attempted to keep himself from watching as Chakwas began tending to the gash in Jane’s scalp.
“Well, we were paid a visit. By Harbinger.” Someone in the room gasped. “Well, a hologram of it, at any rate. It didn’t have anything nice to say.” Garrus snorted despite himself. “You guys showed up a moment later, and you know the rest of the story.” Shepard finished as he stretched out his leg hesitantly, wincing.
Garrus felt much of his frustration and anger with their Commander melt away in light of the distressing story. They’d had no idea that the Reaper’s invasion had been so imminent, they’d thought they’d have months yet to prepare. And now they would, thanks to the sacrifice of thousands of batarian lives. A few hundred thousand sacrificed to potentially save millions, if not billions. Ruthless calculus. He clenched his eyes shut.
“I need to handle a few things.” Shepard muttered wearily as he carefully lowered himself off the cot and onto the floor. Tali caught him, helping him as he tested his weight on his injured leg.
“I’ve nearly stabilized your sister,” Chakwas stated hurriedly as she continued her work, “But she’s far from out of the woods just yet. Come back when I’m finished with her and I’ll take a proper look at your leg. But you don’t look like you’re dying, so you should be fine to wait until then.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Shepard stated, giving his pale, bloodied sister one last look before turning to the door. “I know she’s in the best hands.” Garrus could see the small smile on Chakwas’ face as Shepard and Tali left.
“Thank you, Chakwas.” Garrus added, and without another word, he turned and followed suit.
“Why don’t you go get cleaned up, Garrus?” Shepard said as they moved toward the elevator, “Then, I’d like it if you would meet me up in my quarters, I need to get up to date on what’s been going on since I left. First, though,” He sighed, suddenly looking years older as weariness settled on his shoulders, “I have a few calls I need to make. I think I have some questions to answer.”
Notes:
One more chapter, and we'll be at the end of part 2! I'm so excited! Hang on, folks, we're almost there.
Chapter 52: Part 2: Chapter 27
Summary:
In which Garrus is left a memento.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 2
Chapter 27
The Normandy SR2
It was nearly a full day cycle until Garrus got the message that Jane had woken up. He wasn’t honestly surprised she’d slept that long given how much blood she’d lost and how little sleep she’d been running on, but that didn’t make the wait any easier.
Shepard was also notified, and arrived at the medbay at the same time as himself. They entered together to find Jane arguing with Chakwas as she tried to sit up.
“Jane, I’m so glad you’re alright.” Shepard stated as he strode toward her, only limping slightly at this point, “You should lay down and rest, I’m with Chakwas on this one. You were very badly injured.” Jane seemed to relax slightly at the sight of her brother before her, whole and hale.
“I’m glad you’re okay, too, John. I’m assuming that we made it through the relay on time and this isn’t the afterlife?” She tried joking, but the attempt was strained and halfhearted.
“Yeah, we made it. All thanks to you.” Shepard stopped by her side, and Garrus lingered a little ways back, giving them space. “I owe you for that one, Jane. I don’t know what would have happened without you.” Jane looked away as she murmured denials and dismissals of the claims, but Shepard continued to insist.
“What about the colonists?” Jane asked after a minute, and Shepard visibly stiffened.
“There’s no official word yet, but the system appears to have been destroyed.” He stated, his voice low and somber.
“I see.” Jane replied as she looked up toward the ceiling, her voice flat and empty. “I guess the Alliance wants answers.”
“Don’t worry about any of that.” Shepard stated quickly, and he continued before she could do more than open her mouth, “I’m going to talk to Hackett, we’ll take care of it. You just focus on recovering.” Jane looked back at him, wincing as she sat up on her elbows.
“John, I don’t think-”
“Thank you for coming for me, you most likely saved my life and ensured we were able to delay the Reaper’s invasion.” He took a step closer and leaned forward to press a quick kiss on his sister’s forehead, much to her surprise. “Rest up, we’ll be at the Citadel soon enough and we can talk more about it then.” With that, he turned and left.
Garrus blinked at Shepard’s sudden retreat, and he could see the confusion written across the two women’s features as well. Shepard had been understandably busy and distant since their escape from the Bahak system, but it still seemed odd to see him leave so suddenly.
Jane’s attention shifted to him, and he took a moment to really look at her. She still seemed exhausted, her eyes dark and deep set. Her face was pale, though better than she’d looked the day before.
“Garrus.” She smiled weakly before flopping back down on the bed, bringing up her hands to rub at her eyes tiredly. He closed the space between them, coming to stand beside her bed.
“If you promise not to get up or move about, Jane, I’ll give you both some privacy.” Chakwas smiled as she raised an eyebrow. Jane turned her head and shot the other woman a glare before rolling her eyes in turn.
“ Fine , I won’t get up. If you insist.”
“I do.” Chakwas stated dryly before turning and leaving, chuckling as she palmed the door controls. As the doors shut, Garrus turned back to Jane.
“You must hate me right now.” Jane stated bleakly as her eyes rested on him, and he felt his mandibles flick.
“I don’t hate you,” He replied after a beat, “I could never hate you.” She smiled at that, but he tilted his head, raising his browplates in consideration, his mandibles flicking in irritation, “I’m… not happy about what you did, though.” He supposed that was an understatement, but all his negative feelings regarding her choice to leave without him were tempered by his relief and happiness that she’d returned alive.
“I shouldn’t have left without telling you. I’m sorry.” Her voice was quiet and earnest, and she shut her eyes as though struggling with an upwell of emotions.
“No,” Garrus stated sharply, “You shouldn’t have.” Her eyes opened and she looked up at him with remorse, and he felt his expression soften. “Shepard told me what happened. I don’t agree with what you did, with what either of you did. You shouldn’t have gone off alone without support or without telling us.” He sighed, looking away, “But I’m trying to be understanding.”
“I’m so, so sorry, Garrus.” His eyes returned to her, and she reached hesitantly for his hand. He interwove their fingers, relishing the cool, soft feeling of her skin against his. “I shouldn’t have left without telling you. I was just so caught up in it, and so exhausted and worried. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“I’m disappointed. I thought we were partners, I thought we were supposed to watch each other’s backs.” He murmured as his other hand came up to clasp their interwoven hands, gently stroking the top of hers.
“I know. I’m sorry.” She repeated morosely, then sighed. “I had been trying to respect John’s desire to keep the mission classified. But I also knew I had to find him. I couldn’t leave him…” She trailed off, and Garrus nodded slowly.
“I know. It was harebrained and impulsive, but given what happened, I really can’t stay mad at you.” After a moment, he chanced a smile, “We’ll get past this. And honestly, I’m just happy you’re okay.”
Jane smiled softly up at him, though it seemed forced. He leaned forward to brush his forehead gently against hers, and her free hand came up to cup his face.
“I was so scared I’d never see you again. I thought we would need to leave you behind, I thought I was going to lose you.” Garrus whispered, not bothering to hide the sorrow in his subvocals.
“Garrus, I-” Her voice hitched, and he pulled back, noticing the brightness in her eyes as she looked away, “Three hundred thousand batarians are dead because of me.” Her voice was tight, higher than usual, and he shook his head.
“Doing what you guys did was the only way to delay the Reaper invasion. Their sacrifice may save millions, if not billions of lives. You did what had to be done.” She said nothing to this, her eyes remaining fixed on the far wall as she swallowed. “Besides, you weren’t the one who came up with the plan to destroy the relay.”
“I was the one who hit the button.” She stated numbly, all emotion drained from her voice, her eyes suddenly dull, haunted. “Those people, they’re dead because of me. Because of my decision. I killed them.”
“If you hadn’t, then the Reapers would have shortly after, followed by many more. They would have gone straight to Earth, Palaven, Thessia. It was the only choice you could have made.” His voice was gentle yet firm, but Jane seemed immovable in her guilt.
“I know. And I’d make the decision over again. But I never wanted to kill innocent people, batarian or otherwise.” She looked back at him, but she seemed more to be looking through him, her eyes haunted by the memory, “We tried to warn them, but we weren’t able to.”
“You did the right thing.” Her eyes seemed to refocus on him as he spoke, and he could see the tiredness in them, “You’re not some kind of monster, you’re not-”
“I’m no better than Vasir. I’m worse, even. She said she got her hands dirty to protect the galaxy, but I don’t think this is what she had in mind.”
“This is exactly what she meant.” Garrus interjected forcibly, softening his voice as he continued, “You sacrificed the few so that the many might have a chance at life. If that’s not what Vasir meant, then I don’t know what is.” Jane blinked at him, seeming to consider his words. But then she yawned, her eyelids fluttering. “You still need rest. How about you go back to sleep? I’ll be right here, watching your six.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him drowsily, and he smiled back.
“I’m not taking my eyes off you. No disappearing on me this time.” He stated, only half in jest, and she laughed as her eyes began to close again.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Jane slept on and off for a while after that, but Garrus knew that to be perfectly normal. Shepard came to visit her a few times, and though he always seemed genuinely happy to see her, he never stayed long.
Part of that was probably due to the fact that Jane used his visits to pepper him with questions about the fallout resulting from what happened in the Bahak system. Shepard seemed reluctant to discuss the topic with her, and Garrus didn’t need to have years of experience in reading human facial expressions to see he was worried.
“We’re almost at the Citadel. We can talk about it more then.” With that, he gave her shoulder one last squeeze and left the medbay.
“There’s something he’s not telling me.” Jane grumbled as she spun herself around to dangle her legs off the side of the bed. Garrus was pleased to see she was recovering, both from her minor concussion and from the bullet wound.
“I think you’re right.” He agreed, watching through the medbay’s windows as Shepard disappeared into Miranda’s office.
“I’m worried there’s going to be major political backlash. Three hundred thousand are dead,” She leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees, pressing her face into the palms of her hands, “The batarians are going to be out for blood.”
“I know, but the Council and the Alliance will have both your backs.” She pulled her hands away just enough to raise an eyebrow up at him.
“Do you honestly believe that?”
“Can’t you at least let me pretend to be an optimist? I’m really trying here.” She let loose a soft snort of laughter as she let her hands drop.
“Yeah, okay. Enjoy your little foray into optimism.” Jane chuckled before flopping back down on the bed. “Wake me up when we get there.”
Sitting himself down in the nearby chair, Garrus yawned as he nodded, “Sure thing.”
“You were supposed to wake me up, Big Guy.” Garrus’ eyes popped open and he groaned before looking up to see Jane glaring down at him in mock irritation before tugging her shirt on over her head. She smiled as he stretched.
“Sorry about that, I must have dozed off.” He said drowsily as he stood.
“Can’t imagine how.” She stated dryly, “You looked really uncomfy. You know you could have taken a nap on one of the beds, right? Instead of a cold, hard chair.”
“Where are you going? Did Chakwas clear you to leave?” He asked with a sneaking suspicion that he already knew the answer.
“Not yet, but I’m perfectly fine enough to present myself to the headsman.” She stated with wry amusement, and Garrus felt alarm bells go off in his head at the words.
“Wait, hold up,” He held up a hand, all vestiges of sleep vanishing, “Surely the Alliance doesn’t allow capital punishment? It’s against the law in Council space, and-”
“Whoa there, I was just joking. You know, a little gallows humor.” She grinned, but the smile melted when she noticed he was still staring at her in concern. “Relax, they’re not going to kill me. But my actions resulted in the death of… a lot of people. There’s going to be an inquiry at the very least, if not a trial. I need to be prepared, and the sooner we present the facts surrounding what happened, the better our chances of heading this off before it gets ugly.”
“What, are you suggesting they would arrest you?” Garrus bristled and she shrugged, tugging on one of her boots. “But you did the right thing, and Shepard was just as much a part of this, if not more. Would they arrest him, too? After everything you both have done to help this galaxy?” He could feel and hear the anger and outrage bubbling up, but he knew deep down that it stemmed from selfish fear. Fear of having her ripped away from him.
“If it helps keep the peace, then I don’t see what other option I have besides turning myself in.” She stated simply as she pulled on her last boot, “The last thing we need is outright war as the Reapers prepare to invade. We delayed them, but they’re still coming. The galaxy needs to put up a unified front if we’re going to stand a chance.”
Garrus logically knew she was right, her words made sense. And yet, he was so furious at the unfairness, the injustice of it all, he wanted to scream. Her relaxed nonchalance about it just made him more pissed, as though she had no cares in the world.
“Why are you not more upset about this? Screw the batarians!” He snapped angrily with a sweeping gesture, “How can you just roll over like this? You’re just going to give yourself up? We need you, Shepard needs you, I need you, and you don’t even care, you’re just going to-”
“Shut. Up.” Jane’s voice was as cold and hard as steel, and when she slowly turned to face him, her narrowed eyes nailed him in place, “I will do what I need to do to ensure the rest of you can prepare for the Reapers. John is the best bet we have at survival, and you know that. Don’t you dare accuse me of not caring. And I killed three hundred thousand people, Garrus.” Her voice shook a little, and she paused to take a deep, steadying breath, “I don’t even know how to start processing that.”
Garrus felt himself deflate at the defeated look on her face before she turned away from him. She brought a shaking hand up to run through her hair as she took another steadying breath. After another moment, he closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her and bringing his face down to rest against her neck and shoulder.
“I know. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of that. I’m just scared.”
“Me too.” Jane whispered, her hands coming up to rest upon his.
“I know you care, and I know you’ll do what you think is right. That’s part of what I love about you.” He inhaled, savoring the familiar smell of her, attempting to commit it to memory. “But please. There must be another way, something else we can do. Please don’t just turn yourself in.”
“I can’t make any promises, Garrus. I need to ensure John is free to rally the galaxy against the Reapers. If that means taking all the blame for what happened, then I’ll do it.” She spun in his arms to face him, her hands coming up to rest on his chest. “If the Alliance does choose to arrest me, they can’t hold me forever. Especially given my Spectre status. They’ll just need to look like they’re doing something about what happened. You’ll see me again.”
“You’d better hope so, or else I’m going in after you.” Garrus stated with a forced smile, humor in his voice that wasn’t reflected in his subvocals. She chuckled regardless, her hands coming up to wrap around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss.
What started as a sweet, gentle kiss slowly deepened, burning desperation taking over as they left their other senses behind, drowning in each other. Soon, nothing existed outside the two of them, and the heated press of their bodies. Just as slowly as it built, the heat dissipated, their movements softening and cooling until they broke apart, and Garrus leaned his forehead against Jane’s, nuzzling her gently.
The door whooshed open, but Garrus was tempted to ignore it, desperate to hold her for just a moment longer.
“Oh. Ah, sorry to, er, interrupt, guys.” Shepard stated awkwardly before coughing. They pulled apart and turned to see the Commander glancing away, a hand brought up to rub the back of his neck uncomfortably.
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” Jane stated as she took a half step away, her fingers squeezing Garrus’ before letting go. “Interruptions happen surprisingly often around here.” Shepard came further into the room before stopping and looking Jane up and down.
“You’re dressed.” He stated bluntly, “Going somewhere?” His voice hinted at dryness, and Jane glared at him.
“I sort of assumed the Alliance and the Council were going to have something to say to us, so I took the liberty of getting ready to go.” She replied just as dryly.
“Don’t worry about it, I handled it.” Shepard stated, his voice carefully neutral.
“What do you mean?” Jane’s eyes narrowed in confused suspicion. Shepard hesitated a half heartbeat too long before replying.
“I just spoke to Hackett. He just left, in fact.”
“Wait, he came in person ?”
“Yeah, he figured the situation warranted it.”
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Jane asked sharply, and Shepard glanced at the bed as he shrugged.
“You needed your rest. Like I said, I handled it.” He seemed reluctant to explain further, but Jane stared him down as she crossed her arms, and he eventually continued, “I’m going to be turning myself in when we get back to Earth to stand trial for what happened in the Bahak system.
“Wait, what? ” Jane exclaimed with incredulity, her eyes widening as her hands fell to her sides in open shock.
“I left you out of most of my report, there won’t be any repercussions for you. I took full responsibility.” Shepard stated gravely, bracing himself for the storm both he and Garrus could see brewing.
“Why the fuck would you do that?” Jane exploded as she took an angry step in her brother’s direction, “The galaxy needs you, you can’t just rot away in an Earth side prison!” She jabbed an angry finger into Shepard’s chest, but he stood immovable as she continued, “Why would you be so stupid, so shortsighted, so selfish ?”
Shepard’s control snapped, his anger breaking past his carefully constructed facade. Garrus wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the usually calm and collected man turn so much anger on his sister before.
“Selfish? I’m never allowed to be selfish! But you know what? Maybe I want to be selfish this time! You’re always the one protecting me, always supporting me, always taking care of me.” His righteous fury seemed to dwindle as quickly as it appeared, his voice softening as he continued, “Just this once, let me take care of my baby sister. Please, Jane. Let me take the fall so that I can protect you. Let me be selfish. Just this once.”
Jane and Shepard stood staring each other down for what felt like ages until finally Jane stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle, pressing her face into his shoulder as his arms wrapped around her.
“Why are you choosing my freedom over the galaxy? When the Reapers come, we’re not going to be ready, not without you.” She murmured into him, just loud enough for Garrus to make out where he stood.
“Don’t undersell yourself.” Shepard said soothingly, “You’re more capable than you think. I have faith in you to do what needs to be done in my stead.” He looked up and smiled at Garrus before adding, “Plus, you’re not alone. We have a whole team of capable people who can rally all the species together to prepare for the Reapers. Garrus, I’m sure you’ll be able to help get the turians mobilized, and I know Tali is already making plans to speak to the admiralty board when she rejoins her people. We’re not without allies.”
Jane stepped back slowly, nodding her head reluctantly, “Yeah, I know. I don’t like this, though, John. After everything you’ve done, you deserve better.” Garrus couldn’t help but smile at that, remembering his conversation with her just minutes earlier. He felt his own selfish relief that Shepard had taken the fall, even if he was ashamed to admit it. He hated himself a little for even harboring the thought.
“It’s not about me. Don’t worry, though. I’ll be okay.” Shepard gripped both her shoulders, smiling fondly at her, “At worst, I spend a few weeks twiddling my thumbs until the Council raises a stink about them holding one of their operatives.” He echoed Jane’s earlier sentiments, which finally made Jane crack a small, crooked smile.
“You, sitting around on your ass doing nothing? That’s pretty much a death sentence for you. You don’t handle being bored well, you fucking workaholic.”
“You’re one to talk.” Garrus cut in, “If I had a credit for every time I’ve caught you pacing the ship looking for things to do, I wouldn’t be quite so broke.”
They shared a laugh, but soon after they were interrupted by Chakwas who, upon seeing Jane out of bed and dressed, ordered everyone out so that she could give her a proper examination before releasing her. Garrus finally agreed to leave, but when he turned to inquire more about Shepard’s plans to turn himself in, he found the other man already gone.
The next few days passed in a haze of confusion and anxiety as the media began picking apart what little was known by the general public regarding the events in the Bahak system. Garrus did his best to keep Jane away from the media coverage, much of which was not kind nor fair to Shepard given how little they actually knew. In addition to her hair-trigger temper regarding the topic, she also seemed prone to fall into dissociative episodes on occasion when she dwelt on it too much.
Shepard planned on taking the Normandy to Earth to turn it and himself in soon, and he’d given the crew the option to remain on the Citadel if they didn’t want to join him. Given that most of the crew had been Cerberus prior to their split, a majority of them ended up choosing to stay behind instead of risking being arrested as well. Some notable exceptions included Ken and Gabby, interestingly, who’d decided to remain with Shepard and the Normandy. When asked, they expressed a desire to ensure nothing went wrong with the ship during the trip to Earth, not wanting Shepard to have to deal with it alone. Garrus found that rather touching, and Jane gave both of them a firm hug.
Jacob and Miranda both decided to remain on the Citadel. Garrus thought it prudent on both their parts given their past association with Cerberus, and they both promised to do what they could to help prepare for the Reapers. What that would be, exactly, was a mystery to Garrus.
Grunt expressed an interest in catching a ride on a freighter heading to Tuchanka, which made sense. He was eager to serve Clan Urdnot, which seemed like a good plan, as Wrex had plans to unify the krogan and that seemed like a good way to prepare for the Reapers. If anyone could manage a feat like that, it would be Wrex. Jane was oddly emotional about parting with Grunt, and Garrus supposed that was due to her bizarre ‘older sister’, or perhaps ‘cool aunt’, relationship with the younger krogan. Though the krogan pretended to be unaffected by the parting, he’d happily accepted hugs from both Shepards, and Garrus could see how much he enjoyed them.
Even though Jack had come a long way from the unpredictable, ornery firecracker they’d first brought onboard, she was still among the most angry and disgruntled about Shepard’s impending arrest. It’d taken some effort to talk her down from marching into the Alliance HQ on the Citadel and raising hell.
In a surprise turn of events though, Jack admitted, once she calmed down, to being approached by the Alliance regarding a possible job opportunity. Apparently, Anderson had recommended her to a friend of his, and together they suggested she’d be a good candidate to help train biotic youths. Though she claimed to be unsure, everyone could see as plain as day that she was interested in the idea. Given what he knew of her background, it didn’t surprise Garrus.
One by one, crew members began leaving the Normandy, securing new positions, lodgings, or passage off the station, and Garrus couldn’t help but remember the last time he’d slowly watched their team dissipate. After a few hugs and words of farewell, Tali left to rejoin the Migrant Fleet again to start preparing them for the Reapers. At first he’d been surprised to see that Shepard wasn’t among those seeing her off at the airlock, but he supposed they’d said their own goodbyes in the privacy of his quarters beforehand. Saying goodbye was never easy, and under circumstances like this, it was nothing less than painful.
Interestingly, it was Tali who volunteered to help get Legion safely out of Council space. She promised to get it as close to geth controlled space as she possibly could while on her way to rejoin her people. Legion quickly agreed, and they set about devising a plan.
And so, once again, Garrus found himself one of the last remaining crew members aboard the Normandy, dragging his feet as he hesitated. Jane made it clear that she would be seeing her brother back to Earth, stating her intention to submit her testimony on his behalf, in addition to providing the Alliance with the information they’d gathered about the Reapers thus far. She planned to meet with the Council before the Normandy’s departure, but besides that, she kept mostly to the ship. Garrus wondered if she harbored a fear that Shepard would leave her behind if she gave him a chance.
In the end, Garrus knew what he had to do. As desperately as he wanted to accompany Jane and Shepard to Earth, he knew he had to see his mother. From what he understood, she was in the process of being transferred to the Citadel to begin the new clinical trial that Mordin had helped get her into. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn’t, but she seemed to be fading fast, so it might not matter. He needed to spend some time with her and help support his father and sister. After that, well, he supposed he had to see about getting the Hierarchy to listen to reason regarding the Reapers. That definitely couldn’t be done from Earth.
Packing up his belongings was hard. He’d dragged his feet, watched everyone else pack and leave, and finally it was his turn. The Normandy was due to depart the next day, and his family should be arriving soon. But the Normandy had been his home for the past few months, and even with everything that had happened, he’d been unbelievably happy there. It was hard to leave. Sure, the beds were too small, the proportions of everything designed for tiny, five fingered humans, the food had been awful, the air too cold. And yet-
“Ah, there you are.” Garrus turned and smiled as Jane came into the barracks, a crooked smile on her face.
“Just packing up.” He muttered before placing the last of his shirts in his bag. She came to stand beside his bunk, examining his progress.
“Looks like you’re just about done.”
“Just about.” He confirmed as he continued packing the last few things. Jane watched silently until he finished zipping the bag up. He hefted it, testing out the weight, and content with it, put it back down again and turned to face Jane.
They stood looking at each other for a moment, both unsure what to say. In that moment, Garrus realized like a blow to the stomach that he might never see her again. This woman, the woman he loved, was about to walk out of his life, and he might never be able to hold her again. The Reapers could arrive in a few weeks, months, probably not more than a year. They had no way of knowing, but when they did, there was no guarantee what was going to happen. What if one or the other of them died in the initial attack?
Swallowing hard, Garrus stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, savoring the feel of her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer. He held her tightly, silently willing the galaxy to let him keep her, to not rip her away from him. But he knew it was an impossibility. His head came down to rest on her shoulder, a tightness in the back of his throat.
“This isn’t goodbye,” Jane muttered into his chest, her voice thick with emotion, “We’re going to see each other again. Whatever happens, this isn’t forever.” There was a solid quality to her words, a conviction that made him pull back slightly to look down at her in wonder.
“How can you be so sure?” He asked, and she smiled up at him despite the slight shimmer at the corner of her eyes.
“Because I won’t accept anything less. John and I need you with us when we face the Reapers, and I have faith you’ll be there.” Garrus felt himself smile as her hands trailed up his neck to cup his face, bringing his head down to press against hers. “There’s no Shepards without Vakarian.” She leaned forward, pressing a single, long, soft kiss against his mouth plates, “There’s no Jane without Garrus.”
Bittersweet despair ripped at him at her words, and he kissed her again, fierce and needy as he pulled her even closer. Every place her hands touched, the cold that threatened to engulf him ebbed away. Every inch of her skin that brushed against his was a balm to the ache that threatened to break him. He wanted to hit pause, to stay here with her, to never leave the safety of her arms.
They finally broke apart, their breathing labored, and Jane’s lips parted as though she were preparing to say something, but then she hesitated. A moment later, they both heard the whoosh of the barracks door opening. Garrus closed his eyes and growled with frustration. Every fucking time on this goddamn ship.
“Oh, wow, I’m sorry!” A voice squeaked, and Jane turned her head to shoot a deadly glare at the intruder.
“Get the fuck out of here, Jenkins.”
“Okay, okay! I’m going! I’m going! Jeez…” The door closed again, and they both sighed. They stood there in each other’s arms as the silent moments ticked by, and finally Garrus chuckled.
“Can’t we just run away somewhere warm and tropical? Some remote planet where no one will walk in on us for once? Retire and relax on the beach?” He asked jokingly, and Jane laughed, her eyes warm and full of mirth.
“That would be nice. Maybe when all of this is over and we’ve kicked the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of.” She murmured and Garrus felt something warm in his chest squeeze nearly to the point of pain.
“You know, I much prefer this goodbye to our last one.” He laughed as she scowled at him, her face flushing slightly at the memory.
“Well, I set a pretty low bar last time, so that’s not really saying much.” She grumbled, and a moment later they shared another chuckle. Finally, though, Jane took a step back out of his arms with a weary sigh and a nod of her head. “You ready?”
Garrus nodded as he turned and grabbed his bag. Together, they made their way through the quiet, empty ship to the armory where he grabbed and holstered his weapons. Shepard was standing at his console by the galaxy map when they entered the CIC. He turned when he heard the door open, giving Garrus a sad smile.
“You heading out, Garrus?”
“Yeah, thought it was about time.” They both closed the space between them, clasping hands in a firm handshake. Garrus wasn’t surprised when he was pulled in for a tight hug by the other man.
“Take care of yourself out there. I probably won’t have extranet access, but try to keep in touch. Jane can probably figure out how to sneak me some messages at the very least.” They parted and he slapped Garrus’ shoulder with a grin.
“I’m sure she’s up for the challenge.” Garrus added, and they both glanced at Jane, who shrugged with a half smile. Looking back at the Commander, he sobered. “Take care of yourself, Shepard. Don’t let them keep you tied up too long, we’re going to need you when the Reapers arrive.”
“I know.” After a little more back and forth, Garrus finally nodded his goodbye, and turned to leave, his bag over his shoulder. Jane followed him to the airlock, and they both slowed as they neared it.
“So.” He turned to face her, and she nodded.
“I’ll be in touch. As soon as I’m done on Earth, I have some more business I’ll need to take care of here on the Citadel. If you’re still here at that point…”
“You know how to get a hold of me.” Garrus replied with a nod and a smile, silently begging himself not to get his hopes up. But, maybe he’d get the chance to introduce her to his family after all. “Take care, Jane.”
“You, too, Garrus.” She stepped forward and pressed a kiss to one of his mandibles, one of her hands finding one of his. She remained close as she looked up at him. “I love you.” She murmured quietly, and he squeezed her hand lightly.
“I love you, too.” With that, she stepped back again, turning her face away slightly as her jaw set. Garrus took that as his sign, and turned to head out the airlock, his heart heavy with an ache very different but every bit as painful as the last time he’d parted with her.
The walk down the jetway to the Citadel’s dock seemed to pass in a blur, each step taking him further from the home he knew he’d miss more than a physical part of himself. He’d once heard a sweet human saying, ‘home is where the heart is’, but he’d never truly understood it till that moment.
As he walked along the dock toward the main concourse, it felt like he was walking through ankle deep water, each step taking more effort than the next. He wanted to turn and run back, beg to be brought along to Earth, screw the Reapers, screw duty–
“Garrus!” His heart felt as though it’d stopped in his chest and he whirled around to see Jane darting out of the jetway at a full sprint. “Catch!” She exclaimed as she came to a skidding stop a few meters away, and he took a confused, hesitant half step in her direction.
“Wha-?” He opened his mouth to ask, but cut himself off as her hand whipped out to throw something. It was all he could do to bring his own hand up to catch whatever it was as it flashed through the air toward him.
Garrus’ fingers closed around something small and cool, and when he opened his fingers to inspect it, he felt his breath catch in his throat. Two little pieces of thin metal hanging from a sturdy chain sparkled up at him. He couldn’t read the small, round human letters etched into the metal, but even if his visor hadn’t translated it for him, he already knew what they’d say.
5923-AC-2826
SHEPARD, J.
O/POS
SYSTEMS ALLIANCE
Jane’s old Alliance dog tags. He’d spent so much time aboard the SR1 watching her fiddle with them. He’d noticed that she’d stopped wearing them since they’d been reunited aboard the SR2, but he’d assumed she’d gotten rid of them. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that she’d held onto them, perhaps she even felt sentimental about them. That didn’t explain why she’d tossed them to him, though.
“What’re you giving these to me for?” He asked after inspecting them, his head tilted slightly in confusion. Jane smiled as she put her hands firmly on her hips.
“I want you to hold onto them for me.” This didn’t help his confusion in the least.
“Won’t you need them when you get back to Earth?”
“I stopped wearing them when I left the Alliance. From the looks of it, I won’t be rejoining them just yet.”
“If you’re not planning on rejoining the Alliance, why do you still have them?”
“They’re important to me.” She stated with a single raised brow as though it were the most obvious thing in the galaxy, “The Alliance helped me turn my life around, gave it meaning.” She left it at that, and Garrus only felt more bewildered by the moment as he glanced down at the tags in his hand again.
“Then,” He began slowly, “Why are you giving them to me?” Her smile seemed to grow wider as she rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“I’m not giving them to you, I’m lending them to you. I’m going to want them back eventually.” At that, he became even more baffled, and he huffed as he shifted his bag on his shoulder.
“Jane, I don’t-”
“ So ,” She continued pointedly, “Don’t go dying on me without returning them.”
The pieces clicked into place, and realization dawned as it all suddenly made sense. He felt a smile grace his face, his mandibles fluttering involuntarily as he chuckled and looked back down at the dog tags. He bounced them lightly in his hand once or twice before snapping his fingers closed around them, the chain peeking out to dangle between them.
“ Ahh , I see. Well, I promise you’ll have them back. You have my word, I’ll keep them safe.”
“Good.” Their eyes met and her smile softened. With that, she turned and started confidently back toward the Normandy, her back straight and shoulders loose with a self assurance born of accepting one’s path.
“Thank you.” Garrus breathed as his fingers squeezed around the dog tags before letting his hand fall to his side. Readjusting his bag, he turned and made his way toward the main concourse, his feet lighter, his back straighter, his convictions surer.
The Reapers were coming, and they all had work to do if they were going to be prepared.
Notes:
Thus concludes part 2! Interesting fact, I began writing this story 1 year and 2 days ago! It's wonderful to have reached this far, I had no idea how huge this project was going to become. Thank you to my wonderful beta readers thelordofdarkreunion and Zwober. Thank you to everyone who has given me feedback in the form of comments, kudos, and other things. Thank you to everyone in the Mass Effect Fanfiction Writers Discord. And finally, thank you to all my wonderful readers!
Part 3 will begin in mid February after short break, and will be posted right here as part of this story, not a separate one. If you're interested in continuing with the story as John, Jane, and crew battle the Reapers, please be sure to subscribe so that you can be here with the first update for Part 3! I'm so excited!!
Chapter 53: Part 3: Prologue
Summary:
In which Jane enacts a narrow escape.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Prologue
Arcturus Station, 6 Months Later
“What about the early detection protocols? Have they been put into place?”
“Yes, as much as they can be at this point. They probably won’t buy us enough time, but it will be something, at least. I’ve issued evacuation plans to all the major military bases back on Earth, as well. For when the time comes.”
“We need to make sure Liara has enough time to find whatever it is she’s looking for on Mars.”
“I can only hope she’s right. I don’t know where she gets her information, but you and your brother seem to have faith in her, so that’s good enough for me.”
“If there’s something to find, I’m sure she’ll find it. What about the supply stockpiles? Are they being distributed to safehouses?”
“I’ve recalled and mobilized a portion of the Eighth Fleet in order to begin organizing the supply lines in preparation for distribution. We’re setting up the safehouses as quickly as possible in case evacuations are immediately necessary. We can’t afford to be caught with our pants around our ankles, but we just don’t know what to expect when the Reapers arrive.”
“We’ll just have to hope it’s enough. I’ve been doing what I can to secure support, but it will still take some time. Politics isn’t exactly my strong suit. Any news from Earth? About John?”
“Shepard’s case is still stuck in the court system, not even my testimony seems to be assisting with getting it moving. Is that where you’re heading next?”
“Yeah, my shuttle leaves in a few hours. Not even the Alliance’s puffed up posturing can prevent me from visiting, not with the Council’s backing. No offense.”
“None taken. Good luck. Give your brother my regards.”
“Of course. Take care, Admiral.”
“ Approaching Hangar J17, Gate B, preparing to engage airlock. Please prepare for arrival.”
Jane Shepard took a deep breath as she stood and grabbed her bag. Everyone always said that the gravity of Alliance ships with functioning mass effect fields should feel identical to Earth’s gravity, and yet Jane could always feel the difference when she was back on Earth. It was just a gut feeling, something she couldn’t really put words to, but there all the same.
Her armor shifted and clanked softly as she stretched before starting down the narrow aisle between the rows of chairs. The flight’s other passengers all stared, whispering in hushed voices as they made space to let her pass. Their eyes darted to her face and then to the Council Spectre insignia emblazoned upon her shoulder.
After years of moving about in near anonymity, the attention had been jarring at first. After a few months, however, she was beginning to adapt. Honestly, though, she wasn’t sure how John put up with it. The stares made her grit her teeth.
Jane hurried down the jetway and through the Alliance shuttleport, barely pausing to pass her omni-tool across the scanner to bypass the customs security checkpoint. Being a Spectre had its privileges, she had to admit. It wasn’t long until she was standing outside, her eyes closed as she relished the feel of honest-to-goodness sunshine on her face. As much as she loved space, there was nothing quite like the warmth of your own star, and there was nothing quite like a sunset.
She shook herself out of it and made for a public transport console. Within minutes she was checked into her hotel room, her bag was dumped, and she was on her way to Vancouver’s Alliance HQ.
Her transport stopped before the large glass and steel complex that housed the Alliance brass and paper pushers down on Earth. A good deal of their leadership resided back on Arcturus Station, Admiral Hackett being a prime example. But many of them that remained on Earth were located here.
The public entrance was large and imposing with clean, sleek lines and a wide, open lobby. The Systems Alliance insignia was emblazoned on the far wall, looking down over the security checkpoint by the front entrance. The room was fairly quiet, given the late hour, and the only two guards on duty seemed impossibly young. Or perhaps she was just getting older.
“Boys.” Jane stated in greeting as she approached the checkpoint, raising a single brow as one guard held a hand out to stop her.
“Weapons are not permitted beyond this point. Please show proper identification and-” She held up her hand and cut him off as her omni-tool sprang up along her wrist. She ran her Spectre code over their security console and it beeped before flashing green. With an amused half smile, Jane sidestepped the man’s outstretched hand and walked around him.
“Been a pleasure.” She added dryly as she strode through the scanner toward the nearby elevator. The two guards’ eyes widened and they looked at each other in shock.
“Wait a minute, stop! You can’t-” One of them reached for their sidearm, but the other’s attention was drawn to his console.
“Hold up, let her pass.”
“Wha-?” The first guard asked with apparent confusion as Jane hit the button for the elevator, crossing her arms as she shifted her weight to one side, “Wait, is that-?” Their voices dropped, but still carried across the open space.
“Yeah. That’s her. Spectre Shepard.”
Jane attempted to squash down the mix of emotions she felt every time she heard her new title. Granted, she’d officially been a Spectre for some time, but only in the last 5 months or so had it become public knowledge.
The elevator pinged, the doors opened, and she stepped inside unimpeded. Her weapons remained affixed to their maglocks on her suit, and she smirked. Being a Spectre certainly had its privileges, whether the Alliance liked it or not.
When the elevator pinged again, she stepped out into a smaller atrium and another security checkpoint. These guards, however, she recognized from her previous visits.
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite people in the world!” Jane stated with mock joviality, throwing her arms out wide in welcome. The guards looked at her with stoney expressions, and one narrowed her eyes.
“Spectre Shepard,” She stated gruffly, drawing herself up to her not inconsiderable height, “Wonderful.” The other remained silent, impassive but for the slight thinning of his lips in displeasure.
“How’ve you been, guys?” Jane let her smile grow a few degrees wider as she neared the checkpoint, her omni-tool already alight. “You both look as cheery and upbeat as ever.” The first time she’d whisked through security with her Spectre codes, they’d raised a stink and attempted to detain her despite everything. It gave her no small amount of pleasure now to tweak their noses every chance she got. It was a little childish, perhaps, but sometimes it was the small things in life that brought joy.
She flicked her hand over their console, which flashed green, and proceeded through the scanner without slowing her pace. She turned and waggled her fingers goodbye in the guard’s direction and was rewarded with an eye roll and a glare. She came to a stop at the secretary’s desk at the other end of the room.
“Jane Shepard, here to visit Commander John Shepard.” The secretary, who appeared to be new since her last visit, blinked up at her from her seat.
“Oh, umm… Hold on.” She tapped a few lines into her console before frowning slightly. “Uh, I’m sorry, Miss Shepard-”
“Spectre. Not Miss. Spectre Shepard.” Jane stated cooly as she stared down at the other woman, whose eyes widened a fraction.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Spectre Shepard! But, uh, John Shepard is not currently permitted any unauthorized visitors.” The woman’s voice slowly diminished as Jane’s eyes narrowed. She stepped forward and placed her gauntleted hands on the desk between them, leaning forward as she stared down her nose at the other woman, who seemed to shrink into her chair.
“The Council made it fairly clear back at the start of all this that you all aren’t allowed to stop me. So how about you look through his list of authorized visitors again.” Jane stated frigidly, the ill concealed threat in her voice causing the woman to swallow nervously.
“Yes, yes of course. I’m so sorry, Spectre Shepard. Let me just-” Her typing began again, her fingers flicking through holo displays at a frenzied rate, “Ah! Yes, it says here that Council Spectres are to have unrestricted access. I’ll just-” She pulled up another display and typed in a few lines, “There you go, I informed Lieutenant Vega that you’ve arrived, he should be here momentarily to escort you.”
Jane pushed back off the desk, a smile on her face that she imagined might look something like a cat who caught a canary. “Perfect, thank you.”
“Is there, uh, anything else I can do for you?”
“Nope, that should be everything.” Taking a half step backwards, Jane crossed her arms and glanced out the window at the cityscape beyond.
Somehow, it looked so bizarre. It all seemed so peaceful, so picturesque. Skycars whizzed along routes between tall skyscrapers, the sun glinting off of the glass to sparkle against the bright blue of the cloudless sky. Beyond, she could see the snow capped mountains, just a hint of the wonders Earth held. Down below in the streets, people went about their daily business, completely unaware.
It all seemed so normal, and yet she knew without a doubt that death was speeding toward all of them on silent wings. All of this would end in the blink of an eye, the buildings would burn along with all the people inside. Horrific monstrosities would rip them to shreds, or melt them down and repurposed them into an awful, horrific-
“Well, if it ain’t Lola!” Jane blinked, her heart hammering in her chest as she snapped back to reality, the vivid memories fading as she struggled to ground herself. She shook her head and turned to face the large, muscle bound man striding toward her. “Was wondering when you’d drop by again.”
“James.” She stated as she forced an amused smirk on her face, struggling to hide her unexpected discomposure.
“Long time, no see.” Lieutenant James Vega stopped just before her, his eyes deliberately roaming downward, “You’re lookin’…Mmm.” He trailed off as his voice deepened, humming in appreciation. Jane rolled her eyes and she crossed her arms as she shifted her weight to one side.
“Classy as always, I see. Huh, Vega?” Jane drawled and Vega’s eyes snapped back to her face with a shameless shrug.
“Just calling it like I see it, Lola. Come on, let’s get moving.” With a wave of his hand, James turned and led her down the hallway and through the rabbit warren of passages toward her brother’s quarters. Before she knew it, they stopped before a door, and James lifted his hand to palm the controls. He stepped aside for her as the door opened. “After you.”
“Such a gentleman.” Jane stated with only a little sarcasm as she flashed him a grin before stepping through the door.
“Jane!” She looked around to see John sitting up from where he’d been lounging on his bed. He put down a datapad he’d been reading from and quickly stood, his smile wide as he closed the space between them in a flash. His arms enveloped her, and for a brief instant, it felt like all was right in the world.
“It’s good to see you, John.” She murmured into his shoulder as she returned the embrace, but a moment later he stepped back and looked down at her.
“You, too. I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too. Look how soft you’re getting, sitting around having your every whim catered to!” Jane poked him in the belly, and he swatted her away in irritation.
“Hey now, good food and a soft bed do that to you. I’d admonish you for not giving me a heads up about your visit, but, well, I wouldn’t have gotten the message anyway.” John rolled his eyes in frustration at his isolation and Jane chuckled lightly. He took a moment to examine her, his eyes landing on the Spectre insignia on her shoulder. “That’s new! I like it!”
“Thanks,” Jane’s eyes flicked to it for a moment before returning to his face, “I’m not a fan of the attention it draws, but oh well. Doing my duty, and all that.” She shrugged, stepping around him and moving further into the room. Glancing back at James where he stood by the door, she raised a questioning brow. “You joining us, James?”
“Nah, I’ll just wait outside. I can trust you not to smuggle him any contraband, right?” James flashed her a roguish smile and she reciprocated in turn.
“Oh, you know, nothing but some trashy romance novels and love letters.” She replied airily in a joking tone, causing James to snort in amusement.
“Love letters? For this guy? Now I know you’re pulling my leg, Lola. The Commander here doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”
“Hey!” John retorted in indignation, “I’ll have you know that I-” Jane cut him off with a shove, causing his glare to shift to her.
“Yeah, yeah, get out of here, Vega.”
“Yes, ma’am!” James chuckled with a casual salute before turning and heading through the door. As it whooshed shut, Jane turned back to her brother with a dry look.
“You really should just roll with it, John. It will make it that much easier for me to sneak in these in the future.” With that, Jane pulled a small piece of folded paper out of her belt pouch, flicking it open to reveal tight, cramped writing. John’s eyes widened in confusion and amazement.
“What on Earth…?” He carefully took the piece of paper, marveling at it as he looked it over front and back. “Honest to goodness paper?”
“Look, I didn’t want to have it confiscated if I set the scanner off for anything other than my weapons. I’m not actually allowed to pass any messages along other than those from the Council.” She replied, her tone not quite defensive. John finally turned his attention to the actual message. After a moment, his eyes narrowed and his nose crinkled in bemusement.
“Who wrote this, a chicken? Your handwriting is awful, Jane.”
“Hey! When was the last time you hand wrote a note? I didn’t exactly study calligraphy as a kid, as you might remember! Keep complaining, and I’ll just toss the others out the window instead!” She shot back at him with mild offense as she pulled out the remaining messages, waving them before her. He chuckled, raising a hand placatingly.
“Fair enough. Sorry, just yanking your chain.” He apologized and she grumbled her acceptance as he returned his attention to the message in his hand. One by one, John accepted and read through the slips of paper, smiling as he went. After reading through the last one, though, Jane watched as his face fell. “Was that the last one? Nothing from-” He cut off suddenly, looking away as his face flushed. Jane grinned as she reached back into her pouch.
“Oh, were you looking for this one?” She pulled out another slip of paper, waving it in the air as John’s eyes followed it hopefully. “Ah, yes, I thought you might be excited for this one.” He extended his palm out for it, but it remained firmly between her fingers. His expression deadpanned.
“We’re playing that game, are we?” John’s hand shot out to snatch the note, but Jane laughed as she took a step back, dodging his attempt. “How old are you, nine? Gimme that! Come on, Jane, just-” He reached for it again, but missed as she snatched her hand away again.
“What, excited to hear from your girlfriend ?” She laughed and danced out of the way as John grabbed at her. “I had no idea Tali was such a romantic! It’s really quite sweet, if mildly nauseating.” John managed to grab hold of her, attempting to force the note out of her hands, “You are my brother after all, I really shouldn’t have to-” She laughed as he all but manhandled her in his attempt to retrieve the paper, “- transcribe your love letters for you!”
Finally, she relinquished the note and John stepped back, the paper firmly grasped in his fingers, his face beet red as Jane continued laughing.
“I swear to god, Jane…” He muttered as he quickly shoved the note into his pocket before stashing the others in a nearby drawer.
“Oh, I have one more for you, sort of. I think. I don’t actually know who this guy is, but he was very insistent.” She pulled out the final note and looked down at it with mild confusion.
“Who’s it from?” He held his hand out, and Jane extended it out to him.
“Some guy named Verner? Conrad Verner. You know him?” As soon as the name left her lips, John groaned and rolled his eyes. “So you do know him? He’s sent me about a dozen messages the past few months trying to get a hold of you, but I had no idea who he was. Thought I’d send it along just in case, but if that was a mistake…?”
“Do you remember back during the mission to stop Saren, that guy on the Citadel? He asked for my, er…” He coughed in embarrassment before continuing, “My signature?” Jane’s eyes widened suddenly as it clicked.
“ That guy? Fuck, I’d forgotten about him.” John nodded and she let out a bark of laughter as she handed him the note. “Oh, that’s rich.”
“Yeah, then I had a run-in with him on Illium. The less said about that, the better.”
“Anyway, take this.” Jane said as she sobered, holding out a small notepad and a pen, “Tonight you can write out some replies and pass them to me when I visit tomorrow.” After a moment, she added, “But please keep your reply to Tali as PG as you can, I’m not typing out smut for you.” His grateful expression morphed into one of mortification, and she laughed again.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He stated dryly, but after a moment, he smiled. “Thanks for taking the time to do this for me.”
“It’s the least I could do. Its a fucking crime that they’re not letting any of your messages through.”
“They just don’t want anything to jeopardize the trial, don’t want to give the batarians anything to balk at.”
“I know, but it still sucks. Especially after everything you’ve done for the Alliance, for humanity. Hell, for the entire galaxy.” A little heat began seeping into Jane’s voice, and John sighed, glancing out the window.
“It’s okay, Jane. None of that really matters. Now, tell me about what you’ve been up to. How are the preparations going?” Without delay, she began outlining all the steps she’d been taking to help prepare for the Reapers, and the topic entertained them for the remainder of her allotted visit.
“Knock, knock. Sorry to cut it short, guys. But time’s up, you know how it goes.” James stated as he entered, his face apologetic. Jane stood, nodding her head in understanding.
“Okay. I’ll come back tomorrow after my meeting with Anderson and we can talk more about the plan moving forward.”
“Sure thing.” John stood as well, quickly moving forward to embrace her again. She savored the feeling, giving him a squeeze before stepping back and heading to the door. “See you in the morning.”
“Have a good night, Jane.” With that, she turned and left, allowing James to escort her back to the lobby.
“So, what did you guys get up to?” James inquired after a moment, and Jane just shrugged as she felt the corner of her mouth quirk upwards.
“Oh, you know, just the usual. Smuggled contraband, escape plans, etcetera. Oh, and the love letters, don’t forget about that.” She waved her hand airly, and James barked a short laugh.
“Uh huh, sure. I’ll believe it when I see it.” Jane raised an eyebrow, but declined to comment. When they arrived back at the security checkpoint at the elevator, they said their goodbyes. As Jane turned to leave, James let out a low whistle, causing her to look back at him. “Sorry, don’t mind me. I just love watching you go.” Rolling her eyes again, she raised a hand to wave as she made her way to the elevator.
“Barking up the wrong tree, Vega.”
“Hey, can you hear me alright?”
“ Yeah, it's good to hear your voice. It’s been a little while. Sorry I won’t be able to talk long, it’s late here.”
“It’s okay, anything is better than nothing.”
“How’s Earth?”
“Same as always. At least Vancouver smells better than the city I grew up in. How’s it going on Palaven?”
“ Oh, you know. Feels similar to smashing my head against a wall, just less pleasant.”
“That well, huh? Can’t say I’m surprised. I’ve always gotten the feeling that turians love their paperwork.”
“You can say that again. I can’t believe I’m stuck in a crappy desk job. If it weren’t for the impending end of life as we know it…”
“You’re such a drama queen.”
“Wait, I’m confused. Isn’t that a term for a guy who occasionally dresses like a woman on stage? I don’t see how that applies here.”
“Oh my god, that’s a drag queen, not a drama queen, you dork.”
“Whatever, same difference. At least with C-Sec I got out and about. Here, I just sit around on calls, filling out paperwork, coordinating, managing. I’m bored out of my mind and jealous. You’re out there actually doing something.”
“You’re accomplishing a lot. Palaven has early detection protocols in place now, supplies are being gathered and stockpiles assembled. The turians are in a much better position than they were, and that’s all because of you.”
“I know. It just doesn’t feel like much when I’m staring at the far wall of my office day after day. And I miss you.”
“I miss you, too. Maybe we can meet up sometime soon. Any chance you’ll be able to make it to the Citadel sometime in the next few weeks?”
“I’m not sure, perhaps? We’ll have to see how my next few meetings go.”
“Well, let me know when you figure it out, and I’ll try to coordinate a stop there at the same time.”
“Sounds good. I’d really like to see you.”
“Me, too.”
“I need to get going, sorry I can’t talk longer. I love you. ”
“Love you, too. Talk to you later.”
“Shepard! Good to see you. How was your trip?” The next morning found Jane in Anderson’s new office.
“As well as can be expected.” She extended her arm over the desk to take his proffered one, shaking it firmly before sitting down across from him. “How are you doing? I was surprised to hear you’d stepped down as Councilor.”
“Ah, yes. That. Well, given the impending invasion, I felt like my place was here. With the Alliance.” Anderson settled back down into his desk chair and glanced out the large windows lining one side of the room. He looked back at her, his eyes flicking to the insignia on her shoulder. “That wasn’t meant as any commentary on your own decision, of course.”
“Of course.” Jane repeated with a shrug, swallowing down the slight upswell of guilt. “I have more power to enact change and make preparations as a Spectre than I would as a Lieutenant Commander.”
“Precisely. We all serve when and where we must. I assume you’ve already stopped in to visit your brother?”
“Yes, yesterday evening, as soon as I arrived.”
“I figured as much. Oh, and I heard from Admiral Hackett about what you guys have been up to.” From there, the conversation dived into the details surrounding their respective work to help prepare for the Reapers. After a few minutes, however, they were interrupted by a call. “Hold on, it’s coming through on the priority channel. I need to take this.” Anderson muttered as he pulled up the screen.
“Anderson. It’s Hackett.”
She knew . Jane could feel it in her bones. Something hard was creeping up her throat, threatening to strangle her as a belt seemed to tighten around her chest suddenly.
“I read you. What’s the situation?”
Jane jerked to her feet, the grim expression on Hackett’s face all the confirmation she needed. She felt her blood turn to ice in her veins.
“Scopes just lit up. It’s something massive. They haven’t reached our deep space outposts yet, but they’re moving. And moving fast .”
“The Reapers?” Jane let the words fall like poison from her lips, a bitter, acrid taste on her tongue.
“I’d stake my life on it. and I’m about to raise the alarm to begin evacuations. I’ve already sent word to mobilize the fleets.”
“God help us all.” Anderson breathed, and after a moment, Hackett repeated the invocation in a harsh whisper. With that, the call cut out, and a heartbeat later, a siren began to blare. Anderson stood and turned to Jane. “This is it. No turning back.”
“Understood.” Jane’s back shot ramrod straight, her hand coming up in a picture perfect salute.
“I’m going to go meet with the defense committee, make sure we have plans in place. Go get the Commander and meet me there.” Anderson barked as he started for the door.
“Yes, sir.” She replied before hesitating, her arms falling to her sides as her posture relaxed somewhat. “Hold on, do I have the authority to do that? Will Vega just stand aside?” He stopped, turning to her consideringly.
“Take this.” He stuck his hand in his pocket and fished around for a moment before pulling a shimmering metal chain that clinked in his hand. With a quick motion, he sent it flying towards her. Grabbing it out of the air, Jane looked down to see John’s dog tags staring up at her. “Tell him he’s reinstated, effective immediately.” She nodded in grim understanding.
With that, Anderson turned and ran out of the room, the sound of his footsteps quickly drowned out by the oscillating sound of the siren. Jane followed him out the door a moment later, and nearly got bowled over by a stream of uniformed personnel hurrying toward the nearby stairwell.
Red emergency lights were flaring in her eyes, and as she regained her footing, for a split second, she wasn’t in Vancouver’s Alliance HQ. Instead she was standing upon a floating platform in the Collector base as it careened out of control.
Jane blinked as her heart thudded painfully and she regained her barings. Forcing the familiar feeling of panic firmly down into its compartment, she started down the hallway against the flow of bodies. Her pace picked up as she turned down a different, less crowded hallway, and within minutes she rounded another corner, coming face to face with James and her brother standing and having some sort of debate.
“What the fuck are you doing just standing here? We need to get moving!” Jane barked as she skidded to a halt. James pulled up his omni-tool, gesturing to it wildly.
“I’m getting mixed instructions on where to bring him, and-” James started, but Jane thrust her hand out toward John, offering him the dog tags she clutched. He took them hesitantly, confusion written across his face.
“A present from Anderson. He told me to tell you that you’ve been reinstated, and you need to report to a meeting with the defense committee immediately.” The sirens continued to blare, the sounds of heavy, booted foot falls echoing down the corridors, and after a moment of consideration, he nodded before pulling the chain on over his head.
“Jane, what’s this all about?” John asked slowly, but then his face hardened. “Is it…?” Jane nodded solemnly, and his expression darkened. “Let’s go.” He took off toward a nearby staircase, and she hurried to keep up.
“Wait, hold up!” James yelled after them as he followed, “You don’t have the authority to reinstate him. You’re not even Alliance anymore. No offense. You’re telling me the Admiral just told you he-” Jane shot him a hard look over her shoulder, cutting him off.
“The Reapers are coming,” She continued on after her brother, raising her voice just loud enough to be heard over the alarm, “Our early detection probes picked up signs of them out in deep space, and it’s only a matter of time before they’re knocking on our front door. Protocols, formalities, and fucking paperwork – none of it matters anymore, Lieutenant. Now either fall in line or get your ass out of the way.” She jabbed a finger off vaguely in the direction of the elevators, but James just glowered as he shut his mouth and continued to follow after them.
They snaked through the corridors, some empty, some teeming with semi-panicked and confused personnel. All the while, Jane’s heart never stopped hammering in her chest. She could feel the old tremor in her hand, the lingering punishment for her blind over-confidence. She focused on her breathing as she followed after her brother, but still her heart thundered in her ears. All these years of knowing they were coming, months of preparation – would it be enough? Was this the beginning of the end?
They flew up the final set of stairs leading to the committee room, and Jane looked up to see Anderson through a large set of glass doors. The admiral turned and noticed them, urging them to hurry as he moved to open one of the doors for them.
“Commander,” He stated as the three of them stepped through the door, extending his hand to shake John’s, “Welcome back.”
“Thanks, Anderson. What’s going on?” John asked, looking around at the frenzied activity as people hurried about tasks around them.
“We’ve received preliminary reports from our early detection probes. We believe the Reapers are closing in on Sol.” Anderson began leading them through the courtroom access hall, “For all we know, our deep space outposts could be under attack any moment. We’re evacuating them as quickly as we can, and we’ve begun initiating evacuations at other bases, as well as all major cities.”
“I see. Good thing we got the early detection system in place.” John nodded as they followed after the admiral.
“You can thank Spectre Shepard and Admiral Hackett for that.” Anderson turned just enough to nod in Jane’s direction, and she nodded in acknowledgment of the praise. John lifted a hand to squeeze her shoulder, and she smiled faintly. “The defense committee has requested to speak with you, Shepard, as you’re currently the best expert on the Reapers.” They entered into the courtroom’s antechamber, and came to a stop as one of the assistants got Anderson’s attention.
“Good luck in there, Shepard.” They both turned to face James as he held his hand out to John, who took it in a firm shake. “You, too, Lola.” He then held his hand out to Jane, who smiled as she shook it as well. “I’m not sure where I’m needed right now, but I’ll figure out some way to be helpful.”
“Of course. There’s about to be plenty for us all to do.”
“Shepard!” A familiar voice called out, and both Shepards spun to see Ashley Williams walking toward them hesitantly, her face caught between concerned and hopeful.
“Ashley?” John said with confusion, and Jane couldn’t help but agree. The woman before them looked almost nothing like the clean cut soldier she remembered. Her hair hung loose around her shoulders instead of tied up in a tight bun. Instead of her usual standard white hard suit, she wore a custom hybrid suit made of some softer, blue material that seemed much less suited to heavy combat.
“Lieutenant Commander,” Anderson stated as he nodded to Ashley, “Are they ready for us?”
“Yes, I believe so. I’m still waiting for orders, there’s a lot of confusion and misinformation being passed about.” She shrugged and glanced around the room which was rife with chaos and barely controlled panic. “I’m glad we’d begun putting together evacuation plans, but we just weren’t ready. Not yet.” Anderson sighed and nodded again in agreement.
“We’ll head on in.” With that, Anderson ducked around her, followed by John, and then finally Jane.
“Wait, hold up.” The three of them froze and turned back to face Ashley, whose brows knit in confused consideration. “Jane, you weren’t authorized to be a part of this meeting. You can’t enter, you’re not even part of the Alliance.”
There was no spite or heat in the other woman’s words, and yet Jane felt an old anger resurface like a crack of lightning, her face hardening as her lip curled in a sneer.
“And who’s going to stop me? You? You and what army, Williams?” Jane threw out her arms, gesturing to the flurry of activity around them. “They seem a little preoccupied at the moment, or hadn’t you gotten the memo?” Ashley’s face darkened and she opened her mouth to retort, but John quickly moved to stand between the two of them.
“Enough, both of you.” He snapped, his voice laced with command, and Jane’s mouth clicked shut almost of its own volition.
“She’s here at my request as one of the foremost experts on the Reapers, and the one responsible proposing the early detection probes that are to thank for us having this grace period in the first place.” Anderson explained, his voice pinched, and Ashley’s gaze dropped to the ground as she stood a little straighter.
“I- Yes, of course, Admiral Anderson. Sorry, sir.”
“Now, take Lieutenant Vega over there and report to the Normandy at Dry Dock 219 in the spaceport. I know for a fact that Joker has finagled his way onboard again, so tell him I’ve officially reinstated him as well. Have him get the ship ready, we’re going to need it soon.”
“Sir, yes sir!” Ashley snapped into a salute, and without missing a beat, Anderson turned and strode toward the doors to the courtroom, John following in his wake. Jane shot Ashley one last weighing look before silently turning to trail after the other two.
“They’re nothing but a bunch of spineless pricks.” Jane muttered as they left the courtroom some time later, all but running to the nearest elevator.
“Agreed, but it doesn’t change anything at this point.” John grumbled from beside her. The meeting had been nothing but a back and forth about impossibilities and the futility of meeting the Reapers in a head on direct attack. It’d been cut short when they received the initial reports that their deep space outposts had gone dark. The room had erupted in alarmed chatter, and Anderson had been forced to step in and demand a full evacuation of the building.
While the members of the defense committee had hurried to the designated routes, Anderson led John and Jane as they hurried to rendezvous with the Normandy.
“We might not have much time. I haven’t had any word from Arcturus Station in too long, Hackett and the fleets there may be toast by now for all we know. The faster we can get to the Normandy, the better.” Anderson mused as they finally reached the elevator and he smashed his palm into the holo button.
“We need to get to Mars.” Jane stated suddenly, causing the two men to look at her in confusion.
“Why Mars of all places?” John asked as she brought up her omni-tool.
“Liara’s there,” She explained as she began a quick message to the asari in question, “And she thinks she may have tracked down something we can use against the Reapers, some sort of weapon. I don’t know, she wasn’t very forthcoming with answers.” The elevator door opened, and the three of them stepped in.
“Seriously? Something to use against the Reapers?” Hope dared to edge into John’s voice as his expression sharpened with interest.
“I really don’t know, John.” Jane brought her hands up to scrub at her face, sudden and unexpected exhaustion setting in. “We’ll know more when we get there.”
“Whatever she finds, we’ll just have to pray it’s enough.” Anderson said grimly, his face a stony visage. The rest of the ride proceeded in silence, and when the doors finally opened, he led the way to the nearest hangar.
“Joker, do you read me?” Anderson asked suddenly, and Jane realized he’d pulled up a comm connection. He must have gotten a response, because he continued a moment later, “Good. Status report.” There was another silent pause as Anderson listened, marching through the hangar to where a few soldiers were loading supplies onto a shuttle.
“Didn’t Joker get arrested, too, when I turned myself in?” John whispered to Jane as Anderson continued talking into his comm, and she shrugged as she replied.
“Yeah, but he was never really charged with anything, as far as I know. They’ve had him under guard, and I’m not entirely sure if it’s entirely legal for them to just hold on to him indefinitely, but I think he’s been helping with the retrofits the Normandy’s been undergoing.”
“Retrofits? Is EDI okay?” Jane smiled at her brother’s concern for the AI, someone whom they’d all come to consider as part of the crew.
“From what I’ve heard, yes. I think she and Joker worked out a plan before we originally turned over the Normandy in order to keep her safe and hidden. I think that’s part of why he doesn’t mind sitting around under guard in the meanwhile.”
“I see.” John mused contemplatively, and Jane wondered how much it bothered him to be kept out of the loop. It would have driven her up the wall if it had been her.
“Okay, you two, let’s go.” Anderson gestured to the nearby shuttle, “The Normandy will be on its way from where it’s been docked, and we’re going to meet it part way. We’re hitching a ride with these guys.” Turning, he leapt up into the shuttle, ignoring the salutes of the nearby soldiers.
Without need for further explanation, John and Jane quickly followed suit. They nodded to their armored and helmeted fellows, and the door closed as soon as they were all aboard. Jane could feel the engines start up, and within moments they were quickly navigating their way through the hangar and out into the bright daylight.
Carefully, Jane weaved through the bodies and supply crates, coming to stand just behind the pilot’s seat. Anderson had claimed the seat beside the pilot, and she could feel John’s presence just beside her. Outside the front window, the cityscape of Vancouver stretched out before them. The buildings shone in the sun, the mountains looked like they were dusted in fine powdered sugar, and the water sparkled like diamonds. It was almost impossible to imagine the horrors that were quickly closing in on their picturesque homeworld.
Their shuttle cut through the air, quick and smooth, the only sound that of the mass effect drive propelling them along. Inside, not a whisper passed between them until-
“Wait, what ?” Anderson’s voice broke the silence, sharp like a whip crack as he spoke into the comm. “Luna base? Already?”
A chill went through the occupants of the shuttle.
“How long ago?” He continued after a pause, “And are there any other reports?”
Something large passed over the sun, casting the shuttle in a dark shadow. Jane’s breath caught as a large, eerily familiar form descended slowly before them. It crackled with angry red energy, and suddenly there was a huge, glowing cannon staring down at them.
“Oh, shi- ” The world turned red and white and hot. She brought an arm up to protect her face as the shuttle tossed violently, and she was thrown to the side. Something exploded and-
“...epar…”
Jane blinked, her ears ringings and pain throbbing through her body.
“Shepard!”
She shook her head, blinking again as her brain struggled to make sense of the overwhelming stimulus vying for her attention.
“ Jane! ” She registered the voices suddenly, one in particular striking her as important. Blinking again, the hazy mess before her coalesced into the faces of her brother and Anderson. “Jane, get up! We need to move!”
“John? What?” She felt hands grip her and pull her to her feet, supporting her as the world spun and her stomach lurched horribly.
“The Reapers.” John growled as she began to support her own weight, the distant sounds of explosions seeming much closer as the ringing in her ears began to lessen. “They’re here.”
The statement was somewhat unnecessary as she looked around, registering her surroundings for the first time. The impossibly huge bodies of multiple Reapers rampaged through the city, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Buildings that had minutes ago been pristine and beautiful were now engulfed in flames or reduced to rubble.
While she’d been dazed, John and Anderson had dragged her out of the twisted wreckage of the shuttle, which had clearly been shot out of the sky. Two of the other armored soldiers were sifting through the wreckage for weapons and useful supplies, but the others…
Jane forced her eyes away, taking in her own injuries and those of John and Anderson. They all seemed mostly whole, just some scratches, bumps, and burns. Looking around, she cursed as another giant Reaper landed nearby, its massive body reaching up into the heavens. It began laying siege to the surrounding buildings, pausing for just a moment to shoot down two fighters as they flew by.
“Come on, we need to get moving. I just heard from Joker, they’re en route. We’re not far from where we need to meet them.” Anderson muttered as he handed a pistol to John. Jane pulled out her own rifle, checking it over for any damage. Her eardrums were assaulted by another explosion as the Reaper’s cannon crashed into the side of a nearby building, causing debris to come tumbling down.
“Okay, you lead the w– Holy shit , they’re going to take out that cruiser! Get down!” John exclaimed as the Reaper’s cannon slashed through the air, cleaving into a ship. Its frame was wracked with fiery explosions until one larger, blindingly white explosion engulfed the entire thing silently.
Jane turned away and brought her arms up to protect herself, bracing as a wave of energy hit them, followed by an ear splitting crack! They were all thrown backwards, tipping over and smashing into the shuttle’s twisted wreckage. Jane struggled to her feet, her ears ringing again, and looked over to see John and Anderson doing the same.
How had everything devolved so fast? They’d known the Reapers were coming, and yet it didn’t even seem to matter in the end. Things had gone from tense and anticipatory to absolute chaos and destruction in the blink of an eye, and Jane felt like she was left reeling in the Reapers’ wake. It was like a living nightmare had suddenly sprung up around them, leaving them as powerless as ants in a rainstorm. She’d never felt so small and insignificant in her life.
“Come on, we don’t have time to lose.” Anderson beckoned them onwards, and Jane shook her head, clearing her thoughts and pushing the fears away. It was pointless to dwell on it, all she could do was press on and focus on staying alive.
Step by step, they began picking their way across the debris field strewn across the water. After a few minutes, they paused as they heard the sound of gunfire. Cresting a downed gunship, they saw a group of soldiers huddling behind a broken chunk of its wing, ducking out of cover every now and then to shoot at a group of encroaching… things . Jane had no way to properly describe them, other than vaguely husk-like, if husks could be even more horrific than they already were. They appeared to have different features, and almost seemed to resemble-
“They’re batarians! Or, they were batarians, at some point.” Jane exclaimed as they all raised their weapons to take them out. Clearly they were more of the horrors cooked up by the Reapers, awful enough to churn her stomach. As the last creature fell, twitching to the ground, they joined the scared, relieved looking soldiers.
“Hold on, backup is coming. Retreat back that way,” Anderson pointed in the direction they’d come, “There’s a downed shuttle with more supplies. You’re not in this alone.” They thanked him and began scrambling their way back over the gunship. The older man’s eyes followed them for a few moments, his face conflicted.
But then he turned, his face hardening as he pulled up his omni-tool, brought up his comm system, and input a few commands. Jane’s omni-tool pinged, and she realized she and John had both been added to the admiral’s comm channel. “Joker, can you get a read on our location? What’s your eta?” Anderson asked urgently. There was nothing but static at first, but then the pilot’s voice became distinguishable.
“ zzzstt- our way, should -zzzzsstzz- any minute. Just hold- zzzzsttt.” The words were barely intelligible, but Jane’s hope lept as she processed what little she could understand.
Before any of them could respond, a feral screech echoed across the debris field, causing the hairs on the back of Jane’s neck to stand up. She turned to see a hoard of husks clawing their way over the burning hull of a crashed fighter, their piercing, glowing eyes trained right on them.
“He’d better hurry,” Jane muttered as she brought her rifle up and took aim, “Or we’re just going to be so many bloody chunks of meat when they get here.” A number of the huge monstrosities from earlier joined the husks, and John cursed somewhere behind her.
Before they could so much as fire off a shot, Jane heard the roaring sound of engines from behind them. A moment later, the ground erupted beneath the husk’s feet as they were shot down by weapons far superior to hers. Looking up, Jane grinned as she recognized the sleek silhouette of the Normandy just overhead.
“Did someone call for the cavalry?” Joker asked as the ship sailed overhead, brilliant sunshine reflecting off its clean and freshly repainted hull.
“About damn time.” Jane replied as she watched the ship slowly turn and approach them, its cargo bay door lowering.
“Let’s go.” John stated as he took off running toward a large piece of debris reaching upward like a ramp, the closest thing to a jetway they were going to get. Jane followed after him immediately and reached the top just in time to watch him leap forward and into the waiting arms of James and Ashely. “Come on, Jane!”
Without hesitation, she pitched herself forward, horrifyingly reminiscent of her all-or-nothing leap off the Collector base months before. John and Ashley grabbed her, pulling her safely aboard.
“Welcome back, both of you.” Ashley murmured, and Jane nodded to her before turning to await Anderson. The admiral came to a halt right at the top of the ramp, conflict clear in his expression.
“Shepard!” He called out, and Jane froze, dread creeping up her back as she saw his face set with determination.
“Come on!” John yelled, beckoning him onward, but Anderson smiled grimly and shook his head. Nearby, a shuttle approached, its door opening to reveal armored soldiers sweeping the area for survivors.
“I’m not going.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jane hollered at him. “Get your ass on this ship!” The admiral only shook his head again.
“You saw those men back there!” He replied, his expression revealing some of the heartbreak he was carrying with him, “There’s a million more like them, and they need a leader!”
“We’re in this fight together, Anderson!” John implored him to reconsider, but the other man was steadfast in his resolve.
“It’s a fight we can’t win. Not without help. We need every species and all of their ships to ever have a chance at defeating the Reapers.” The admiral said, resignation heavy in his voice. “Talk to the Council. Convince them to help us.”
“They’re not going to listen!” Jane growled, her fear manifesting as thrumming anger, her blood boiling.
“Then make them listen!” Anderson snapped at her, causing Jane to grit her teeth. “Now go! That’s an order.”
“I don’t take orders from you anymore, remember?” She yelled back at him, but his eyes shifted to focus on John.
“Get this ship out of here, Commander . You know what you have to do.” Anderson said, and Jane felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up to see John shake his head at her. She shot him a glare before jabbing an angry finger toward Anderson.
“We’ll come back for you, you hear?” She yelled angrily, causing the admiral to quirk a half smile.
“And we’ll bring every ship we can.” John added before releasing her shoulder and turning away. He paused after a second, looking back as he solemnly added, “Good luck.”
“You, too.” Anderson replied before taking a step back.
Jane ground her teeth, the thought of leaving the older man behind cutting her to the core. He’d been the father she’d never really had, the man she owed her salvation from the streets to. He’d always been there, a strength to draw upon, watching over them both, encouraging and pushing them to do and be their best.
As the Normandy slowly began pulling away, Anderson grew smaller as he turned and ran back down the ramp. Jane turned away, closing her eyes, and fought against the tightening in the back of her throat. She had a horrible, sinking feeling that this would be the last time she’d ever seen the other man in person.
She looked up as she felt a hand on her shoulder again, her eyes meeting the overly bright eyes of her brother. She could see the shimmer of unshed tears there, and she reached up to grip his arm, giving it a squeeze.
The cargo bay doors were still open, and they both turned around as two shuttles closed in, coming to a stop as they landed below. The doors opened and soldiers lept out, gesturing wildly to a group of huddling civilians and injured comrades. They began helping everyone onto the shuttles, and Jane felt as though a fist had grabbed hold of her heart and squeezed as her eyes landed on the small frame of a child hurrying toward one of the shuttles.
“My god… he can’t be more than nine or ten.” John whispered, his eyes landing on the same small boy. The kid paused, looking up, and even as the Normandy continued to gain altitude, Jane froze as their eyes locked.
Her breath caught, and for a split second, she was looking into the eyes of another child. One who had carried a small, injured red headed girl on his back through the streets of their decrepit city. One who had given up his own stale bread roll in order to feed her. One who had stood between her and the cold, harsh realities of homelessness.
For a split second, it was her brother who stared up at her, the brother she remembered from their days as kids on the streets. She blinked, the Normandy carrying them further away, and the resemblance was gone. She swallowed around the lump in her throat.
An awful, electronic howl rent the air, and a Reaper came into view as it rounded a nearby building. Its shielding peeled back, revealing a charging cannon, bathing the surrounding buildings in angry red light.
Run. Get away . Live! Jane watched in horror as everyone hurried to board the shuttles, only breathing as she saw the young boy clamber aboard one of them. The door closed, and a soldier slammed his fist against it, urging the pilot to take off. Both shuttles powered up seconds later, and Jane felt herself finally breathe as they took to the sky safely.
A red beam cut through the air, slicing through the shuttles like butter, and she felt bile rise in her throat, a silent scream dying as she looked away. A choked sound came from beside her, and she opened her eyes to see John staring in horror at the crumbling wreckage of the shuttles plummeting toward the ground.
Her face set in grim lines, she grabbed his arm and turned him away, walking them both further into the cargo bay, passing by a horrified looking James and Ashley. The doors slowly closed behind them, cutting off the sound of explosions and the destruction of their homeworld.
“Come on,” Jane snarled as she let go of her brother, striding toward a nearby console, “We need to get to Mars. Let’s hope we’re not too late.”
Garrus, please still be alive. I promise I’ll find you. Just hold on.
Notes:
Welcome to Part 3! I'm so happy you're here with me for this journey, thank you everyone! If you've made it this far, you're fantastic and I love you! Please feel free to leave comments, thoughts, questions, anything. I love hearing from you.
Sadly, due to a change of life situation, I don't know if I'll be able to keep up with my once a week schedule, we'll see. I have a bit of a buffer, but it might be like every 1.5-2 weeks for a little while. Please bare with me, thank you so much for your understanding!
Chapter 54: Part 3: Chapter 1
Summary:
In which Garrus plays politics.
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 1
Cipritine, Palaven, Five Months Ago
Garrus stood before the large holodisplay in the living room watching a rerun of an interview on the news. On the screen, a dark haired human woman stood talking with the ‘newly’ appointed human Spectre, Jane Shepard, and he felt his heart clench. Jane laughed at something the reporter said, her face relaxed and her posture self-assured as she easily maneuvered her way through the interview, completely at her ease.
Though she’d been a Spectre for some time, it had only become publicly known earlier that week. The council made a big deal about it, putting together a ceremony and pretending that she was just now being inducted into the Spectres. Regardless, the public ate it up, excited to see not only another human Spectre, but the sister of the famous Commander John Shepard, the recently arrested war hero.
Reaching into his pocket, Garrus pulled out the set of dog tags Jane had left with him. He looked down at them, his finger tracing over the markings that he knew made up her name. Spirits , he missed her. They’d had a few calls, and they messaged each other regularly, but it just wasn’t the same.
The past month had been difficult. Not long after he left the Normandy, his father and sister had arrived on the Citadel as well. His mother was transported to one of the hospitals there to undergo the experimental treatments while they stayed at a nearby hotel. The reunion with his father and Solana had been somewhat tense, to say the least, particularly given the state of his newly scarred and unbandaged face. But they’d been happy to see him alive and mostly whole, particularly given the less than satisfactory communications they’d received from him recently.
And honestly, he’d been happy to see them, too. Even his father, who seemed to be almost a completely different man than the cold and distant one he remembered from his childhood. He supposed it must have been everything he’d been through the past year, taking care of his sick and slowly dying wife. Perhaps he’d had something of a change of perspective.
Reuniting with his mother had been hard. Garrus almost hadn’t recognized the thin, drawn woman as the one who’d raised him. By some miracle, she seemed to recognize him when he first entered the room, and her joy at seeing him had been nearly palpable. But as the moments passed onwards, her lucidity seemed to drain out of her, leaving her a shell of her former self. Garrus was happy that he got to spend some amount of time with her, at least, even if she seemed unaware of him completely by the end.
Perhaps, deep down, she’d been waiting to see him before letting go. At least, that was Solana’s theory. Or perhaps the trip really had been too much for her. It wasn’t long after their reunion that her health took a turn for the worse and began deteriorating quickly. Even after they began the treatments, she seemed to reach a point of no return quickly.
Garrus’ mother passed quietly and peacefully, her family sitting around her at her bedside. It was nothing more than a long, slow breath leaving her body, and she was gone.
The days following his mother’s death were a bit of a blur. Her passing hit him very differently than those of his old Omega team, or even that of John Shepard after the Battle of the Citadel. They had all died unexpectedly and violently, leaving him with a variety of angry feelings. His mother, on the other hand, had been battling this disease for quite some time, and they’d known that she wouldn’t have much longer. It didn’t make it hurt less, but it was a different sort of pain, somehow. He was left with less anger, and more deep, bone weary sadness.
Before he knew it, he and his remaining family were packing up and heading back to Palaven together in order to plan her services and lay her to rest. Garrus felt like he was living in a fog for those first few days at home, his body numb, colors faded, sounds muted. In contrast, his father almost seemed his usual self on the surface, going about a normal daily routine. All except for the mournful subvocals he couldn’t hide that were almost physically painful to hear.
As for his sister-
“Could you move please? I’m trying to watch this.” Came a voice from behind him, and Garrus nearly jumped out of his plates in surprise, dropping the dog tags to the floor with metallic click , the chain hitting the ground with a soft hissss . He turned to see Solana splayed out on the couch behind him, her expression caught between amusement and irritation.
As for his sister, she was a little hard to read. She had this annoying habit of resorting to humor or sarcasm when upset, but pointing this out to her did nothing but cause her to look at him pointedly, for whatever reason. But he wouldn’t be surprised if, under her grief and sadness, there wasn’t a little bit of conflicted relief at being freed from the burden of caring for a dying parent full time. He’d never blame her for feeling that way, particularly given the fact that he hadn’t been around for most of his mother’s illness.
“What is that, anyway?” Solana asked as he bent down to pick up the dog tags. “You’ve been fiddling with them since we met up with you on the Citadel.” Garrus quickly stashed them in his pocket, shaking his head.
“It’s nothing. Just a trinket.”
“Uh huh. Sure.” She raised a brow plate at him but didn’t push the matter as he stepped to the side. They continued to watch the interview, which was interspliced with clips from Jane’s public induction ceremony into the Spectres. “Shepard… Isn’t that the name of the human you served under during that whole thing with that other Spectre, Saren Arterius?”
Garrus felt an unexpected lump in his throat, “Yeah. That’s his sister.”
“Huh. Must be one helluva family to produce two Spectres, for whatever that’s worth.” Solana stated offhandedly with a shrug, and Garrus felt himself smile.
“Yeah, they’re really something.” He returned his attention to the screen. The interviewer had said something that had caused Jane to smile her trademark crooked grin, and just the sight of it caused his heart to tug painfully. His hand reached back into his pocket of its own accord, pulling out the dog tags again as it had so many times the past few weeks.
“Okay, seriously,” Solana broke through his thoughts, “What is that? Some sort of token from your girlfriend ?” She asked jokingly with a teasing wheedle in her voice. Garrus froze, heat creeping up his neck as he choked back a mortified denial. He knew from past experience that a quick and hard response would only provoke her to tease him more. He took a moment to calm his subvocals before replying.
“No, of course not.” He stated cooly, but Solana narrowed her eyes as she examined him.
“Spirits, you’re blushing!” She announced with undisguised victory and glee as she stood up. “It is from a girlfriend, isn’t it!” It wasn’t a question this time, and Garrus knew he had to think quickly.
“Don’t be stupid, Sol. It’s just… Just something I picked up.” He finished lamely as heat continued to creep up his neck despite his best efforts. Solana’s grin continued to grow as she approached him, her hand extended.
“If it’s nothing special, then let me see it.” She stated smugly, clearly having anticipated his knee jerk reaction to tug his hand away as she reached for the dog tags. “Uh huh.” She added dryly.
In an instant, she was on him, reaching for the dog tags as he attempted to fend her off and hold them out of her reach. Garrus gasped as her elbow caught him in the stomach, and he laughed even as he wheezed, instantly transported back to their childhood, rough housing as they fought over a toy they both wanted.
His amusement quickly began to fade as he realized she was much bigger and stronger than he remembered. They weren’t children anymore, but grown adults. He might be a little larger than her, but his advantage was much less pronounced than when they were younger.
“Sol! Get off! I mean it. I don’t want to hurt y-” With a grunt and a crash, they toppled onto the floor. They grappled and struggled for a few seconds longer, and Garrus remembered, with some irritation, how determined his sister was.
“Ha! Let’s see…” Solana grinned as she stood triumphant with the dog tags clutched in her fist. She stood over him squinting down at the writing etched into the small metal tags as he lay groaning on the floor, her expression growing more and more confused. “What the hell even is this?”
“I told you, it’s nothing.” Garrus muttered as he began pulling himself out from under Solana, who had pulled her omni-tool out and was scanning the writing.
“It’s in human? It says… Hold up.” Her brow plates leapt up as recognition played out in her subvocals. Stepping back, she glanced at the interview on the large screen nearby. “J Shepard? Systems Alliance? Is that the brother you served under or-” She nodded in the direction of the red haired woman being interviewed.
Garrus, who had finally gotten to his feet, froze as he dusted himself off, a flush creeping back up his neck as he failed to prevent his eyes from flicking to the screen. Before he could stop himself, his subvocals gave himself away further as they hummed with hesitation. Solana’s eyes widened even further, if possible, and she grinned.
“So what, exactly , is going on between you and this Jane Shepard , hmmm?” She asked teasingly, and Garrus brought a hand up to scrub at his eyes in frustration and embarrassment. What was it about siblings that brought out one’s immaturity? Or was it just turian siblings? He’d never seen Jane give Shepard this sort of trouble, had he? After he failed to answer, his sister just laughed. “Never thought you were the type to go after a human, but I suppose I’m not surprised. You always were a little non-traditional.”
Garrus leveled her with an unamused stare, which only made her chuckle. “Now that you’re done, can I have those back now? They were placed in my care and I don’t really want to lose them.” After a moment, Solana held the tags out to him, and he snatched them back as he glared at her, though it lacked the heat of real anger. “Thanks.” He growled, and as he stuffed them back in his pocket, she leveled him with a considering expression.
“So, are you two really dating? Or were, at least?” She asked after a moment, all vestiges of humor gone, replaced by genuine curiosity. Garrus hesitated before nodding his head.
“I’m not sure when I’ll get to see her again, given everything that’s happening. But we didn’t break up or anything.” He explained quietly, his eyes drifting back to Jane’s face on the screen. It hurt to look at her, he missed her so much, but he couldn’t look away.
“How serious was it?” Solana asked, and he paused before answering.
“Before everything that happened in the Bahak System, I’d been planning on bringing her back to introduce her to the family.” She blinked, taken aback.
“You were ready to make that sort of commitment to her? Even though she’s human?” Garrus’ expression hardened at his sister’s question.
“What does her species matter? She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I’m surprised someone like her would even look at someone like me.” Solana rolled her eyes at him, but her smile seemed genuine.
“Dad’s going to blow a gasket. You know that, right?” She said as she chuckled, and Garrus groaned as he looked up at the ceiling.
“Yeah, well, it wouldn’t be the first life choice of mine that he hasn’t approved of. But it hardly matters at the moment.” He sighed, shivering suddenly as he thought of the Reapers drawing nearer, ever nearer.
“Well, if she’s half as amazing as you seem to think she is, then I’m sure I’ll like her.” His sister stated with a nonchalant wave of her hand, and Garrus looked at her with surprise. He smiled before reaching over and gently flicking one of her mandibles in the way he used to as children. “Hey, stop that.” She grumbled as she pulled away, waving him off. “I’m going to grab something to eat, want anything?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” She flashed him a smile before heading into the kitchen, and Garrus couldn’t help the flood of warmth at her quick and easy acceptance of his nontraditional romantic life.
Garrus glanced back at the screen and smiled as the image of Jane laughed at something, the sounds so familiar and cherished that it was hard to keep the longing from his subvocals.
The interview continued, the reporter delving into her future plans, and Jane immediately launched into her thoughts about the current state of the galaxy. As she repeated similar sentiments to what she’d expressed to him weeks prior in their hotel room on Omega, he couldn’t help but feel some of his fog clear.
Shepard was up to his ears in legal issues back on Earth, and Jane was working her ass off to try and get preparations for the Reapers underway. He knew some of the particulars of what she was working on from the messages they’d exchanged so far. She was out there, making a difference. And what had he accomplished, other than mourning the death of his mother?
Garrus tried to give himself a little grace, tried to remind himself that it was okay to take time to mourn her passing. But he also had to get to work. There were preparations of his own to begin.
The trouble, Garrus quickly found, was that he really didn’t know where to begin in the first place. He spent the next few days sorting through all the data on the Reapers that Shepard had had put together for everyone before his arrest. All in all, they really did have a lot of hard facts to prove their existence. Granted, some of it would probably still seem a little far fetched, but an exhaustive perusal of the facts seemed conclusive. He began drawing up his suggestions for what the Hierarchy could do to prepare, quickly surrounding himself with stacks of datapads full of charts, graphs, and proposals.
But none of that was going to accomplish anything if he had no power to actually enact his plans. Garrus began running through lists in his head of contacts he could approach, but each seemed less likely to hear him out than the last.
Which was how he found himself aimlessly pacing his room late one night, thoughts buzzing and possible plans racing through his head like flies. No sooner did they flit in did they flit out again, quickly deemed impossible or unhelpful. It was past midnight when he realized how hungry he was.
Quietly, Garrus made his way down the hall, and to his surprise, found the kitchen light already on. Instantly, soldier instincts flicked on, and he slowly approached the doorway, careful not to make a noise. Hesitantly, he leaned just far enough into the room to recognize the shape of his father sitting at the table, a mug of something steaming in one hand, a datapad in the other.
Releasing a breath, Garrus stepped into the room, “Dad. What are you doing up?” His father turned just enough to shoot him a glance over his shoulder before returning his focus to whatever he was reading.
“Garrus,” Castis acknowledged him before nodding to the seat nearby, “I don’t sleep as soundly as I used to.” He stated gruffly as his only explanation, but it was enough. Garrus grabbed himself a protein bar before sitting down across from him. “What about you? What are you doing up at this hour?”
“Just trying to… figure some stuff out.” Garrus murmured as he ripped open the bar. Sighing before taking a bite, he slouched back into the chair. He tried not to let the doubts and fears seep in along with the exhaustion from lack of sleep.
“Well, I still have plenty of contacts back in C-Sec. I can probably pull some strings for you, get you your old job back.” Castis replied off handedly, misinterpreting his anxiety. Garrus blinked, appreciating the gesture none-the-less.
“I’m not looking for a job right now, but thanks for the offer.” He stated evenly, causing the other man to sigh. After a minute, Castis continued.
“Also, I ran into Mecidia at the market the other day. You remember, Caelrius’ girl?” Garrus silently nodded, dread inching up his spine as he recognized the turn of the conversation. “She’s still single, and when I mentioned that you were back in town, she seemed very interested.”
“I’m definitely not looking for a girlfriend right now.” Garrus stated, and suddenly Castis looked years older as he sighed wearily.
“Garrus, you’re getting older. You need to stop this galavanting around the galaxy and start thinking about your future. It’s time you settled down, found a good mate.” His father’s eyes seemed to unfocus for a moment, almost as though he were looking through Garrus instead of at him. He came back to himself suddenly, shaking off his sudden melancholy, “Maybe you should give her a chance.”
“I’m really not in a good place to settle down right now.” Garrus muttered, bringing a hand up to his forehead as it gave a sudden throb of pain. His father sighed again, but after a moment, he nodded in resignation.
“Okay, fine. But let me know if you reconsider, particularly regarding your old job. I can think of a few of my old colleagues who would be happy to see you back on the force.”
“Thanks, Dad, but that’s not-” Garrus froze, his brows plates drawing in as he considered. His father had contacts. Many contacts, in many places. High places. Garrus might not know people high enough to have enough sway to make a difference, but his father would. “Actually, I might need your help after all.”
Castis raised a single brow plate in curiosity at the sudden change in direction, “I’m listening.” Garrus hesitated, suddenly anxious. He’d watched so many people brush Shepard off when the topic of the Reapers came up, and he’d heard plenty of rumors about the state of the Commander’s sanity because of his strongly held belief in them.
“It’s… it’s about the Reapers.” He stated quietly, his eyes glued to the table between them. He paused, but when he got no reply, he dared to look up into his father’s face. Castis’ expression had become pinched with concern, but he showed no sign of derision.
“I’m listening.” He repeated, and Garrus felt something tight in his chest loosen by a few degrees. He sat up straighter and cleared his throat before launching into his explanation. After talking for a few minutes, he rushed back to his room, coming back with all of his carefully organized data. Piece by piece, he laid the entire story out before his father, who listened and nodded his head, speaking only when he required clarification on some point.
Light was peeking in through the windows by the time Garrus finally stopped, and they sat for a few minutes in silence, each considering the weight of the information lingering between them.
At first, Garrus had expected something like the disdain he’d gotten from him following the Battle of the Citadel. But he’d sat and listened this far, so that had to be a good sign. Castis’ face was pensive as he digested the information, finally leaning back in his chair.
“Who else have you laid this all out before?” His father asked quietly, breaking the heavy silence, and Garrus shook his head.
“Me? No one. Not yet. I’m not sure who will believe me, honestly.”
“I can see why, it’s all hard to believe.” Castis muttered, and Garrus felt his back stiffen, frustration growing in his chest. “But we’re going to need to bring this before the Hierarchy. They need to know and preparations need to get underway as soon as possible.” Garrus froze, his mouth open but no words coming out.
“Wait, you believe me ?” He asked in surprise, and Castis crossed his arms as he nodded.
“The data is exhaustive and conclusive. And terrifying, quite frankly.” Garrus’ mouth opened to reply, but snapped shut again, unsure how to respond. Finally, he took a deep breath and tried again.
“This is what we’ve been working on for the past few months. It’s why I joined Shepard’s crew. I haven’t been working as a mercenary or galavanting or whatever you guys thought I was doing. We’ve been working against the Reapers. It’s why I wasn’t home when… When Mom was sick.” He explained quietly, looking down at the table between them. He looked up to see his father’s hand clench for a moment before relaxing.
“I understand. We could have used your support here, but-” Castis sighed, seeming to accept his explanation, “But I understand.” They sat for another few moments before he continued, “So, what’s your plan?”
“Huh?” Garrus looked up at him, pushing back the sudden fog of pain after the mention of his mother.
“Your plan. All this,” Castis gestured to the datapads on the table, “Shepard’s been arrested and is being held by the Alliance after what happened in the Bahak System. So, I’m assuming part of why you’re back on Palaven must have to do with whatever your plan is regarding the Reapers.” Garrus looked away.
“Ah. Well. I don’t really know where to begin. It’s not like I can just march into the office of a defense minister or a general and demand that they hear me out. I’d be laughed out of the building, or possibly carted off to a mental hospital.” He grunted, his voice layered with sardonic subvocals. Castis’ browplates drew in as he brought a hand up to his chin in consideration.
“I might have an idea.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Garrus choked out a few hours later as he looked down at the appointment notification that had popped up on his omni-tool. “You got me a meeting with Primarch Fedorian himself ?”
Castis looked up from the datapad he was reading, placing it back down on one of the stacks Garrus had left out on the kitchen table the night before. “He’s an old friend of mine, I called in a few favors and got you a meeting with him.” He stated simply, as though it was an everyday occurrence. Garrus’ mouth snapped shut, and he reread the appointment details his father had just forwarded him.
“Thanks, Dad. This is… This is more than I could have hoped for.”
They spent the next few hours leading up to the meeting working to put together a presentation out of the data he had. Garrus would be the first to admit that he probably wasn’t the most experienced public speaker, or at least not a presenter. He spared a moment to bemoan the fact that Shepard wasn’t there, he would have been perfect. Though, Garrus supposed Shepard’s track record on trying to convince others that the Reapers were real wasn’t fantastic. He tried not to think about that.
Garrus wasn’t going to have long, since the meeting was more of a courtesy in honor of Fedorian’s long standing respect for Castis than actual interest in anything Garrus would have to say. So they tried to pare it down to just the absolute essentials – The hardest hitting, most solid facts they had, particularly about what they’d found at the Collector Base.
By the time they finished their preparations, Garrus was starting to feel pretty good about his chances of convincing the Primarch. He’d convinced his father, after all, and if he could do that, then surely he could convince the Primarch, right?
But when he stood before a stone faced Primarch Fedorian and a council of three of his generals, Garrus felt a good deal of his confidence seep away through his feet. While he managed to keep his cool and didn’t make a complete ass of himself in front of them, from the look on their faces, he also wasn’t necessarily doing a fantastic job of convincing them.
When his presentation was complete, he stood there in complete silence for a long, painful moment where he tried not to shuffle his feet like a child standing before his parents waiting for his punishment. Finally, the Primarch sighed and leaned forward as he interlaced his fingers and rested his hands on his desk before him.
“Look, Vakarian, you’ve clearly put much thought into this…” Fedorian started, and Garrus felt his stomach sink. He already knew what the other man's decision would be. “But I’ve spoken to Councilor Sparatus about this topic on a number of occasions, and I have to admit that I’m currently in agreement with him on the matter.” Garrus felt a rush of anger flood his system and struggled not to do something stupid. Regardless, his mouth popped open to retort.
Fedorian held up a hand to forestall him, “You have brought a lot of interesting data, and I will have some of my personnel look it over if you’ll give me a copy of it all.” Garrus snapped his mouth shut and grit his teeth as he nodded. “Give us a few weeks to go through it all, and I’ll get back to you.”
“A few weeks ?” Garrus nearly squawked, his eyes flying wide in panicked shock. “I’m sorry, sir, but we might not have a few weeks, we need to begin preparations as soon as-”
“I understand your opinion on this.” The Primarch started in a placating tone that made Garrus’ blood boil, “But you need to understand how far-fetched a lot of this sounds to many of us. Given the enormity of your claims, we need to verify the information before we commit any resources. This takes time and work, I'm sure you understand."
And that was the thing. The small part of him that understood how politics worked could see the reasonableness of the statement, if it weren’t for the end of the goddamn galaxy looming on the horizon! But as Garrus looked into Fedorian’s steel-set expression, he knew there was no point in arguing further. He wasn’t getting through, and he was going to have to figure something else out.
“Thank you for your time, sir.” He said curtly as he used his omni-tool to shut off the presentation behind him and began gathering up his belongings.
“Of course. Castis and I go way back to our time in the service. I’ll always make time for him and his when I am able. Please, give him my regards and my condolences for his recent loss.” Fedorian stated offhandedly as he stood, pushing back from the conference table. His generals followed likewise.
“I’ll do that.” Was all Garrus could manage without growling in mounting anger as he did all he could to focus on packing up the few data pads he’d brought. He listened to the sound of feet leaving the room, and as soon as the door shut and it was silent, he groaned in frustration, smacking his bag back down onto the table.
“Crap.” He hissed as he brought up a hand to scrub at his face.
“Vakarian.” Garrus’ head shot up, his eyes wide as they locked with those of General Adrian Victus still sitting across the table from where he stood. The man had his arms crossed in front of him, his expression completely blank as his eyes seemed to pick Garrus apart, weighing him to the ounce.
“Ah, um-” Garrus hesitated, taken aback by Victus’ unexpected presence, “Is there something I can do for you?” He paused, but after a moment, he added, “Sir?” The general stared at him for another moment before standing.
“Come with me to my office.” With that, Victus turned and walked out the door, and Garrus scrambled to grab up the rest of his things and follow. It had been a command, not an invitation.
When Garrus made it back out into the hallway, he turned to see Victus waiting for him just a little ways down. As their eyes met, Victus turned and led him down a series of halls until they stood before the door of a surprisingly unassuming office. The general opened the door and gestured to the chair before the desk that took up most of the spartan room.
“I want to see your data again. Not just what you showed Fedorian. I want to see all of it. I’m assuming there’s more?” He began immediately as he took the seat behind the desk, and Garrus swallowed as he fought down a surge of hope.
“Yes. Yes, of course.” Garrus said as he sat down, “It’s quite a lot, though, and you probably-” Without hesitation, Victus pulled up his omni-tool and entered a few commands.
“I just canceled my next few meetings.” He stated before clasping his hands and leaning forward onto his desk, “Now, start from the beginning. Don’t leave anything out.”
5 Months Later
Garrus fought the urge to groan as he furtively checked the time. He’d been stuck on this call with some unit supply specialist for far too long as the man explained repeatedly how unreasonable his request was. Garrus’ task force had come a long way when it came to the stockpiles and supply reserves put aside for the Reaper’s arrival, but that didn’t mean that everyone understood or agreed with his work.
As soon as the man was done speaking, Garrus reminded him that it had been less a request, and more an order. Soon after, he brought the call to a close, leaning back in his chair with a frustrated growl. Jane could make all the jokes she liked, having a desk job was goddamn awful.
At least, he supposed, perhaps he was accomplishing something. It had all been thanks to Victus, really. He’d listened astutely to Garrus’ evidence regarding the Reapers, and then had helped set him up with meetings with others in positions of power who’d had been willing to listen. When added to the unrelenting efforts by his father, he’d been granted another chance to discuss the topic with Fedorian, who had finally given in and granted him a small ‘Reaper Task Force’.
Sitting up again, Garrus returned his attention to the console on his desk, rereading through the newest iteration of the evaluation plan proposal for the metropolitan area of Cipritine. It wasn’t pretty, evacuating such a densely populated area would never be an easy task. But it was better than nothing. With a frown, he hit the ‘send’ button.
His office door pinged, signaling he had a visitor. Surprised, Garrus stood to open it. It wasn’t a long walk from his desk, the office being more of a closet than anything. He pressed the button, the door opened to reveal his father. Garrus blinked in surprise.
“Dad. What are you doing here?” Castis nodded a greeting, and Garrus stepped aside, gesturing to the only other seat in the room.
“I was just meeting with Fedorian, thought I’d stop by to see your office. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Garrus shook his head in answer, slumping back down into his own seat.
“No, it’s fine. I was just finishing this up.” He gestured to his console, and his father nodded.
“That’s good.” Castis said, and after a pause, began glancing around the small room. “You’ve got a nice office here.” Garrus raised a brow plate at him, unsure if he was being sarcastic. But he continued, his tone seemingly earnest, “It’s good to see you with a respectable position within the Hierarchy.”
“Dad…” Garrus sighed, beginning to understand.
“Ever since you left C-Sec, I’ve worried about your future.” Castis explained, a long suffering expression on his face as he seemed to think back on the past few years, “I was beginning to worry you weren’t ever going to figure yourself out.”
“Dad.” Garrus cut in firmly, his expression hardening. “You realize that none of this is permanent, right?” He gestured to the office around him, “I’m not settling into some cushy position in the Hierarchy. This is a temporary token position that I’m using to scramble together some semblance of a plan for when the Reapers arrive. None of this-” He gestured around himself again, “-really matters.”
“I know,” Castis replied gruffly, “It’s just nice not having to worry about you while you’re off galavanting around the galaxy with that human Spectre for once.”
“I wasn’t-” Garrus cut himself off and sighed again, then did his best to steer the conversation away from Shepard. They managed something resembling small talk for a few minutes, until-
“By the way, I was talking to Julinus the other day, and he says his daughter might be interested in meeting up with you if you can make some time, perhaps this weekend?” Castis suggested with forced nonchalance, and Garrus felt his hand travel to his pocket containing a pair of dog tags.
“I’m really not interested, Dad, but thank you.” Garrus glanced away toward a small picture frame that sat on his desk. On it was displayed the same photo of the SR1 crew that he and Jane had found in Liara’s apartment on Illium. Something in him ached.
“Garrus, I really think you should give her a chance.” Castis’ voice was laden with a disappointed rebuke, causing Garrus to shoot him an irritated look. “I don’t understand why you’re so against any of the suggestions I’ve made the past few months. They’re all lovely girls, why haven’t you agreed to meet even a single one?”
Garrus hesitated, unsure how much he should divulge, but also desperate to bring his father’s matchmaking efforts to a stop. Castis seemed to see how uncomfortable he felt and sighed wearily as he brought a hand up to scrub his face.
“Look, Garrus, I just want to see you happy.” Garrus blinked at the other man’s unexpected admission, “Every moment I got to spend with your mother was a blessing, and I want to see you just as happy.” The statement shot right through him, a painful throb in his chest at the mention of his mother. He looked away, his fingers digging into his pocket to curl around small, metal tags.
“Dad, I appreciate your concern. But really, I’m okay. I’m-” He hesitated, but decided to come right out with it. Or at least some of it. “I’m already seeing someone.” Castis blinked, clearly taken aback by the news.
“Really? Why haven’t you mentioned her before now?” He paused, but after some consideration, his eyes widened a fraction. “Wait, are you gay? Is that why you keep turning down all these girls?”
“What? Spirits, Dad. No.” Garrus groaned and Castis held his hands up, his voice suddenly defensive and slightly higher than usual.
“I’m not trying to say there’s anything wrong with that, of course.” Castis stumbled over the words, coughing awkwardly before continuing. “It would just surprise me, is all. You’ve never given me any reason to think-”
“I’m not gay.” Garrus cut in, “The person I’m dating,” He took a breath before looking his father in the eye, “She’s just not turian.”
The room fell silent as the two men stared at each other. Castis’ eyes widened further, true surprise crossing his face. Garrus tried not to let his nerves and apprehension show, doing his best to keep his subvocals in check.
“I see.” Castis finally murmured, his expression and posture relaxing as he settled back, considering. “Asari, I assume. Well, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.” He muttered after a moment, sighing as his mandibles flicked, his subvocals conflicted. “You always were the unpredictable one.” He said with a sigh. Garrus felt himself ruffle, but couldn’t argue with that.
“She’s not-”
“Look, it doesn’t matter. I might not have chosen that for you,” His father interrupted, holding up a hand, “But honestly, like I said before, I just want to see you happy. Even if it’s not with another turian.”
The words seemed to reverberate through the room, Garrus’ shock at the other man’s words evident on his face. His father, always the steadfast traditionalist, deciding not to take issue with him dating outside their species? Was the world completely flipped on its head?
He paused that train of thought, his brow plates furrowing in consideration. It had been a few months since his mother had passed, and this wasn’t the only incongruency he’d witnessed in his father. Perhaps losing your mate, particularly one you’d been with as long as they’d been together, really did change you.
Garrus finally smiled, his body relaxing slightly, “Thank, Dad. I really am happy with her.” Just the thought of Jane sent a shock of warmth through his veins. If he closed his eyes, he was sure he’d be able to see her vividly. Her cocky grin, her bright eyes, her soft and vibrant hair, her pale skin covered in tiny freckles like constellations of stars-
Spirits, he missed her.
“Before everything that happened in the Bahak system, I’d been planning on introducing her to you guys, actually.” Garrus added quietly after a moment, causing his father to blink in surprise. “But everything with the Reapers… It had to come first.”
“I… see.” Castis seemed to mull the admission over, taking in the new information and processing it. “Well, I look forward to meeting her someday.” The words were stiff, clearly forced, but he appeared to be doing his best to keep an open mind about the topic, and Garrus could appreciate that for what it was. Though, he mused as his mandibles flicked in amusement, his father might be eating his words when he found out his girlfriend was human . And a Spectre .
“Thanks, Dad.” Castis opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by the flashing of an incoming priority call. “Hold on, I need to take this.” Garrus frowned as he pulled up the screen.
“ Vakarian. We’re getting a few weird reports from our outermost probes. I can’t tell for sure, but it might be them .” Ice slid down his spine, and he heard his father’s sharp intake of breath.
“Send me the reports. What makes you think it might be the Reapers?” Garrus snapped as his fingers flew over his console, bringing up a series of displays.
“Sending the reports now. It might still be too early to say, but looking at these readings-” Another flash and another priority call lit up his console.
“Hold on.” Garrus snapped before switching to the newest call. Another screen popped up and another one of his task force appeared before him, her face grim.
“ Sir, Earth just went dark, we’ve lost all communication with them.” It was like the air was suddenly sucked from his lungs, leaving him light headed and confused.
“So suddenly? Is it the Reapers?” He asked urgently as he quickly pulled up a few additional readouts.
“I called as soon as we got the report. Whatever hit them, it hit them hard and fast.” She stated, fear evident in her voice, and Garrus felt his mouth go dry. Pulling up his omni-tool, he quickly navigated to his personal message account. He selected his most recent exchange with Jane, noting the last one he’d sent recently.
I hope your meeting went well, love you. - GV
The message was marked as sent, but he’d never received a notification that it had been delivered. That was odd, and the timing was ominous.
“Fuck.” He growled, another priority call popping up, as well as a half dozen messages. Whatever was happening, and he had a horrifying idea of what it might be, it was growing out of his control quickly. His fingers rushed over the holo display, quickly sending off a series of messages. He hurriedly scanned over a few of the initial reports, his stomach dropping further with each word.
“Is this it?” Garrus looked up from his current message to see his father getting to his feet, his expression pinched and stoney. “The Reapers?”
“I think so.” He nodded before quickly finishing his current message and sending it off. Getting to his feet, he grabbed his bag nearby before turning back to Castis. “Where’s Sol?”
“She’s at work.”
“Call her. Go get her, and get to the nearest safehouse.” Garrus instructed as he made for the door. His father followed him into the hall and grabbed his shoulder before he could take more than two steps.
“I’m proud of you, Garrus. I always have been.” The words caught Garrus off guard, piercing him somewhere soft, a weak point he thought he’d dammed up long ago. Without thinking, he spun and wrapped his arms around Castis, hugging him tightly. Fear pulsed through him, and suddenly he wasn’t a grown man, but a scared child clinging to his father.
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too, Son.” Came his father’s gruff reply, and a heartbeat later, they both stepped back.
“Go get Solana and get to safety. I’ll contact you as soon as I can.”
“Take care of yourself.”
“You, too.” With that, Garrus turned and ran, and somewhere far off, an alarm began blaring. As his feet beat a rhythm against the cold steel floor, he found one of his hands reaching into his pocket, searching out the small, metal tags there. He clenched them as he ran, almost like a charm, a talisman against the unseen shadows looming in the distance.
Please, Jane. Please be alright.
Chapter 55: Part 3: Chapter 2
Summary:
In which Garrus watches Palaven burn.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 2
Menae
Crosshairs converged on a screeching, pale skinned monstrosity. Garrus pulled the trigger, and black blood sprayed through the air as the corpse fell to the ground. With a tired groan, he ducked back into cover and pulled out another heat sink, replacing the previous one. Poking his head back out, he peered through his scope, and a moment later, another horrific creature dropped to the ground, its head a mess of bloody pulp.
And above him, Palaven burned and his people died.
Gone was his initial panic of the Reaper’s arrival, replaced with weary resignation that all they’d done to prepare hadn’t been nearly enough. Palaven was almost entirely alone in the fight with no expectation of backup or assistance. Earth, for all he knew, had already fallen. Spirits only knew what had become of Thessia, Sur’Kesh, and the other homeworlds.
The dead bodies of the soldiers he’d taken with him to handle the brute terrorizing Victus’ flank lay in pools of their own blood somewhere in the general vicinity, most of them surrounding the gigantic thing’s corpse. They’d died honorable deaths as they’d taken the creature down, deaths that any turian would have been proud of. But that didn’t change the fact that they were dead, nonetheless.
Another husk landed between Garrus’ crosshairs, head exploding in a spray of blood, and another corpse fell dead to the ground. His own time hadn’t come quite yet, but as he faced wave after wave of creatures fit only for nightmares, it wasn’t a stretch to imagine dying here on the barren surface on Menae, alone.
As Palaven continued to burn above him.
He pulled the trigger. A marauder fell, and Garrus tried not to wonder who it might have been… before . He tried not to think about his father and Sol, wherever they were up on that burning planet. Up in that bright, fiery splotch that had been Cipritine’s beautiful, towering spires. Last he’d heard from them, his father had found Sol and they’d been making their way to a safehouse, but once he’d left for Menae, communication had gotten spotty. The Reapers were jamming signals, and they’d recently gotten a good hit on one of the communication towers, making it nearly impossible to get a hold of anyone at a distance.
Garrus found a moment of peace and let his eyes stray upwards toward the dark heavens above. Somewhere out there was Earth. Was it burning like Palaven? Were ships there exploding in the skies above? Were Reapers laying waste to their cities? Did swathes of humans lay dead at their feet? Somewhere on those distant battlefields, was there a body laying broken, sightless green eyes staring absently, her red hair splayed out around her, blood splattering her pale skin? Was there a bloody husk out there with an eerily familiar face?
Garrus shuddered and shook his head. Jane was fine, she was a fighter and she would be okay. He had to focus on keeping himself alive and doing what he could for his people. There was nothing he could do for Jane right now. The best thing he could do was not die. He had to return her dog tags, after all, and he couldn’t do that if he was dead. He loaded another heatsink and took a deep breath.
He shouldn’t be surprised that he was crouched here fighting for his life on Menae of all places. He’d been a part of the planning process, he’d known the High Command’s flight here was a possibility. But Garrus could vividly remember looking up at the moon as a child and dreaming, like most children, about what secrets it held. Many people speculated about its classified secrets, having been placed into the hands of the military from the very first moments of turian spaceflight. He’d never been stationed there during his time in service, but he’d seen the shocking leaked pictures of soldiers walking around without helmets. It hadn’t prepared him, though, for the strangeness of actually being there.
It made sense now , of course, given his hurried briefing upon arrival with the rest of the Hierarchy High Command after the beginning of the Reaper invasion. A series of underground tunnels snaked between the numerous military bases across Menae, and within them ran a network of powerful mass effect field generators, enough to create a small amount of atmosphere, just enough to breath while in some areas on the surface.
The Hierarchy’s plans to flank the enemy by launching an assault from Menae had been nearly laughable, but his opinion had initially been soundly ignored. The numbers the Reapers could muster and the sheer force of their firepower had shattered that plan before it had even begun. Additionally, Menae played a major role in the supply and refueling efforts for the turian fleets, and the Reapers made it clear from the beginning that they planned to cut that supply chain by bombarding the moon’s bases. Thankfully, the bases had been well protected enough to repel the initial attack, forcing the Reapers to deploy ground units in hopes of taking the bases the old fashioned way on foot.
So far, it seemed, the Hierarchy had been holding their own against the Reapers forces, but with the Reaper’s inexhaustible supply of patience and cannon fodder, it was only a matter of time until they ground the turian forces into the dust. Then, without the ability to easily resupply their fleets, well… Garrus didn’t want to think about it.
In the days following their arrival on Menae and failure of the initial plan, those around him had quickly begun turning to Garrus as some sort of expert due his experience fighting against the Reapers alongside Shepard. He had advice and insights to share, which seemed to be more than anyone else had to offer, and so he found himself quickly elevated to a position of power as some sort of “Expert Reaper Advisor”. He personally thought it was somewhat laughable. Him? An expert advisor ? He scoffed, brought his scope up, aimed, and fired. Another husk spun, fetid blood spraying into the air before it collapsed.
All of this, and Palaven still burned.
What had the plan been, anyway? He’d almost been beginning to feel confident in the days before the invasion, hadn’t he? It all seemed like a dream now, as though his life prior to the attack had vanished in a puff of smoke as he’d awoken to this new hellish reality. The turians were being ground down and there seemed nothing he could do about it. There was no plan other than to scramble and survive to the next day. He hadn’t heard anything from Shepard or Jane, and there was a part of him that felt like there was no hope for the galaxy without them, especially if each species continued on in the fight alone.
Garrus noticed the despair building and took hold of himself, ruthlessly squashing the feeling as he readjusted his rifle. Another group of husks scrambled toward him and he lined up the crosshairs, his finger tightening on the trigger-
The husk’s head exploded as a shot caught it between the eyes. Garrus’ eyes widened and his finger eased off the trigger, his shot still yet untaken. Was there another survivor nearby? He’d been under the impression that he was the only one left from the bunch that had broken off from Victus’ command. He focused in on his visor readout, but there didn’t appear to be anyone else left in his local comm channel.
Another shot rang out, a distant crack of a sniper rifle, and caught an oncoming marauder between the eyes. Focusing his attention, Garrus tried to estimate the angle of the shot and turned to scan a ridge behind him. There were plenty of large outcroppings and rocks that someone could be hiding behind in addition to a large communication dish.
His attention was ripped back with an ear piercing electric screech and he turned back to see a mob of husks scrambling up the hill toward him again. Cursing, Garrus brought his rifle up, but not as fast as whoever sat atop the ridge behind him. A shot rang out followed by another and then another, taking out three husks in quick succession. The rest of the horde, which he noted included a number of marauders and a few cannibals as well, seemed to notice the single sniper on the ridge and changed the focus of their attack as Garrus sat behind cover, seemingly forgotten.
The husks began lurching and leaping toward the ridge, their single minded bloodlust evident as they rushed to eliminate their attacker. The marauders and cannibals switched their aim, pelting the ridge with shots as they followed after the husks. Garrus watched for a moment longer until there was a slight lull in the gunshots. Looking up, he caught sight of movement as the shooter above took another two shots, and he spotted a quick flash of red.
Garrus pulled out his assault rifle and stood. He quickly took out the stragglers of the pack, glancing up as the shooter ducked out to line up and take another shot, catching a marauder in the throat. Garrus blinked in surprise. He was almost positive the sniper wasn’t turian, their knees bent the wrong way. In fact, if he didn’t know better, he’d almost say it was a human .
He quickly hurried toward a nearby outcropping and waited for the sniper to duck out again for another shot. As they did, Garrus’ chest lurched as his heart twisted painfully. It couldn’t be…
His rifle came up again, and he took out the two cannibals quickly before darting forward toward the safety of another outcropping. He quickly pulled up his omni-tool and navigated to their old private local comm channel.
“Jane?” Garrus asked hesitantly, but he already knew he had to be experiencing some sort of fever dream or hallucination. There was no way she was actually here on Menae, he knew it was impossible. His visor reported one other in the comm channel, but it had to be some sort of error.
“Well, if it isn’t Garrus Vakarian.” Came a familiar voice followed by a low chuckle, and his heart thudded hard in his chest as he felt his hope sore, “Taking your sweet ass time, don’t you think? Or were you just going to leave all the fun for me?” The last marauder’s head exploded as her shot took it between the eyes, its body skidding as it hit the ground.
Garrus let out a disbelieving bark of laughter, his exhaustion causing him to wonder if he should doubt the evidence before him. Could that really be Jane, his Jane ? Or was he dreaming? He supposed there was only one way to find out.
“ Last time, I believe it was you taking your sweet ass time to fight your way up to my sniper nest, if memory serves. Just thought I’d return the favor.” Garrus replied, savoring the snarky battlefield banter he’d missed so much. She laughed, and the sound was so sweet that he couldn’t stand it. He raised his rifle and hurried after the husks, taking them out as quickly as he could as they reached the bottom of the ridge.
Jane’s next shot took out a nearby husk, and Garrus aimed and fired at the two that had just reached the bottom of the ridge. Just a few remained, quickly scrabbling up the rocky incline toward where Jane crouched, her attention and aim having shifted to focus on something on the other side of the ridge. He made quick work of the last few husks as he scaled the incline, and before he knew it, he stood panting, exhausted, and out of breath before Jane Shepard.
Her focus was on something down below at the comm tower’s controls, and her rifle was at the ready as she gazed through the scope. Garrus stood there, a few yards away, gazing at her silently as he regained his breath. She remained where she was, however, acknowledging his presence with nothing more than a quick glance and a single finger held up as if to say ‘hold on just a moment.’
The gesture tickled a memory somewhere in the back of his head. She pulled the trigger, and the shot rang through the air like the crack of a whip. She looked up a moment later, a small, satisfied smile gracing her lips. Her head cocked to the side in the way it did when she was listening intently to her comm, and Garrus felt an instant wave of affection at the small, familiar gesture.
Jane stood suddenly, her rifle held casually, and turned to look at him with a grin on her face. His feet felt like they were glued to the ground, leaden and incapable of moving an inch. He couldn’t do anything other than stare at her, and spirits if she wasn’t the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He opened his mouth to say something, but had no idea what to say. So instead of saying something witty, romantic, or clever, as he’d always planned at their eventual reunion-
“Am I dreaming?” Garrus asked, his voice rasping, his mouth having gone dry. He swallowed and tried again, “Are you real? How are you here?” Jane raised an eyebrow at him before laughing.
“Really? Apart for six months, and the first thing you ask is-” She cut off as Garrus closed the distance between them without warning. She managed to lower her rifle out of the way just in time before his arms enveloped her in a tight hug. Her free arm came up to grip him tightly, and his face dropped into the crook of her neck, inhaling the scent of her deeply in hopes of convincing himself she was real . She had to be.
“I’ve missed you.” Garrus whispered hoarsely, struggling with the overwhelming relief he felt at seeing her there, holding her in his arms, knowing she wasn’t just another nameless casualty of war.
“I missed you, too, Garrus.” Jane murmured warmly, but pulled away a moment later, pressing a quick kiss to his mandible before bringing up her rifle again and kneeling as she braced herself against the nearby outcropping she’d been using as cover. Reality hit him like a slap to the face, and he realized they’d been standing out in the open atop a ridge in the middle of a war like fucking idiots . He crouched down next to her as she peered through her scope and took another shot.
Garrus followed her gaze, noticing the battle below. Biotic attacks erupted across the field, resulting in splatters of black blood from husks as they collapsed with awful screams. The communication tower in the middle of the open space seemed to be the center of the action, and he saw what seemed to be an asari clinging to a ladder on the side of it.
“Is that Liara?” He asked, pulling out his own sniper rifle and looking through the scope. He answered his own question quickly before she had the chance to affirm his suspicion. Searching the battle field, he found a marauder heading for the base of the tower.
“Yeah. I climbed up here to find a good vantage point, but then I got a little distracted when I noticed you down there all by yourself, in need of a knight in shining armor.”
Garrus snorted and he pulled the trigger, and the marauder’s head exploded as two shots caught it simultaneously. He looked away from his scope, glancing at Jane to see her smiling as she lined up her next shot. “I’m assuming Shepard is the one going nuts with the biotics down there?” Garrus asked as he looked back through his scope.
“You assume correct. It’s good to see he hasn’t gone completely soft sitting on his ass all this time on Earth.” Jane muttered before taking another shot as the more creatures advanced on the tower.
“Not that I’m complaining, but why are you guys here of all places? And how? What happened to Earth?” Garrus asked before taking another shot, catching a cannibal in the chest.
“We came to bring the Primarch to a war summit to discuss the war against the Reapers, but we were too late.” Jane explained quickly before the crack of her rifle sounded in their ears, and he did his best to unpack the information thrown at him.
“A war summit?” Garrus wondered aloud, feeling a sudden spark of hope. The spark dimmed again as he processed the last part, “What do you mean by ‘too late’?” Jane shot him a look he couldn’t decipher before answering.
“Fedorian is dead.” She stated quietly, and Garrus slowly released a long, tense breath as cold, numb, calm enveloped him. “His shuttle was shot down not long ago.”
“I see.” Was all Garrus could manage for a moment, but Jane continued taking shots as he gathered himself.
“We’re waiting to hear from your Command on Palaven about who the new Primarch is, but we have to get this comm tower functioning first.”
“Gotcha.” He took a deep breath, forcing down the dread creeping up. He should feel more, he decided, when informed that one of his people’s most important leaders was dead, but the cold numbness was threatening to catch up with him. He had to do something, he had to find a way to be useful, he had to-
“We’re okay here, Garrus. Liara almost has it fixed, she’s surprisingly apt with communication tech these days. You do what you need to do, these are your people.” He turned to Jane to see her watching him closely, her eyebrows drawn ever so slightly in concern.
“I need to get back to the base and speak to General Corinthus. Will you guys be fine without me?”
“Of course, this is child’s play. We’ll join you there as soon as we have the tower fixed up.” Jane stated firmly, and Garrus nodded as he moved to stand. He paused as her hand darted forward to grab the front of his armor, causing him to lurch forward toward her. Her lips crashed against his mouth plates in a firm, quick kiss, but she’d released him before he could even register what was happening.
By the time he’d righted himself, Jane had already returned her focus to the battlefield below. “Be careful.” She added without looking up from her scope.
“You, too.” Garrus replied before turning and hurrying along the ridge in the direction he knew the base to be in.
Maybe he was going crazy. Maybe Jane wasn’t there, maybe he’d imagined the entire exchange. But somehow he doubted it. He forced his eyes away from the planet above, aglow with the embers of war.
Palaven still burned, a harsh reminder of reality.
It wasn’t long until he was passing the barriers into Corinthus’ rudimentary command base, meeting the nods and tired greetings of his fellows as he beelined toward the General.
“Vakarain, sir. Good to see you in one piece.” Corinthus stated stiffly, giving him a salute as he approached, and Garrus nodded to him, motioning for him to relax. Spirits did that weird him out, even after a week of it.
“You as well. I just heard about Fedorian. What happened?” The other man shut his eyes and sighed before looking down at the data pad in his hand. Garrus recognized the other man’s pained expression, it was hard to find someone who hadn’t lost a friend at this point, and the war had only just begun.
“His shuttle was shot down as we were trying to get him off Menae. We can’t get a hold of Palaven Command yet, though.”
“I see. The comm tower?”
“Exactly. I’m hopeful it should be repaired soon, though. Commander Shepard and his team showed up a little while ago,” Corinthus continued, his expression displaying his own amazement, “I received communication from Palaven Command a day or two ago that the Council was sending him to extract the Primarch. He and his team are fixing the tower as we spe-”
Something pinged, and Corinthus looked down, his brow plates leaping in surprise. “Well, speak of the devil. Looks like they got the job done.” Garrus couldn’t help but smile wryly.
“They usually do.” He replied, unable to keep the fondness from his voice. Suddenly, Garrus could hear the faint buzz of Corinthus’ comm springing to life. The man listened intently, his mandibles flicking with pleasure.
“Much appreciated, Commander. I’ll contact Palaven Command.” He said, and a moment later, added, “Understood.”
The General’s attention focused on a nearby console, his fingers flitting through the display interface. He expected the other man to have the answer to their question, the name of the next Primarch, but after a few silent moments, Garrus shifted uneasily.
“So many damn dead. So, so many.” Corinthus sighed, his face suddenly haggard as he examined the readout before him. Suddenly he stopped, a screen popping up before him. “Victus. General Adrien Victus.” Garrus froze, surprise evident on his face as he turned to face the General completely. That had not been the name he’d been expecting to hear, but it filled him with an unexpected spark of hope.
“Huh. Primarch Victus. Now that would be something.” Victus, the man who had proved himself a clever tactician time and time again. Victus, the man who had stopped and listened, reviewing every bit of data he had on the Reapers. Victus, the man he owed his task force to, and thus much of the preparations he’d been able to accomplish before the invasion.
“Commander Shepard, come in.” Corinthus spoke into his comm as Garrus turned away and started toward the supply stores. “I have information from Palaven Command. Please return ASAP.” He was running low on just about everything, and he had a feeling things were about to get interesting, as they generally did when the Shepards were involved.
As he was sifting through the crates of rations and packs of heat sinks some minutes later, Garrus vaguely registered the subtle, telltale signs of his translator kicking in, and he knew what that meant. Quickly snagging up a few extra heat sinks and jamming them into his belt pouch, he pulled himself to his feet and grabbed his hastily cleaned rifle before turning. He could see a group standing in the General’s command shelter, and he couldn’t help but smile.
Damn if it wasn’t good to see Shepard again. He could hear voices hard edged with stress and tension, and he took a deep breath before approaching, his posture straight backed as he tried to appear more at ease than he felt.
“I’m on it, Shepard. We’ll find you the Primarch.” Garrus stated confidently as he stepped up into the shelter, and the Commander turned, his eyes widening as they landed on him.
“Garrus!” Shepard exclaimed, a surprised smile blooming across his face. Garrus noticed Corinthus jump slightly, turning to face him with a stiff back.
“Vakarian, sir. I didn’t see you return.” He nodded to the general, suddenly horribly embarrassed as he saw Shepard notice the exchange with interest. Just behind him, he noticed Jane staring with surprise as well, and heat began inching up his neck.
“At ease, General.” He hurried to say, and Corinthus relaxed somewhat, shooting a curious look between him and Shepard before turning and returning his focus to his console.
“Thank god you’re alive.” Shepard stepped forward as he offered his hand, but as Garrus took it, he was pulled into a tight hug. Shepard slapped him once or twice bracingly on the back before pulling away. Jane stepped up beside him, a small crooked smile on her lips as she offered him her hand as well. Garrus took it in his, placing his other hand over their entwined hands in a gesture that was surprisingly intimate. His words were meant for Shepard, but his eyes never left Jane’s, caught in her inescapable gravity.
“I’m hard to kill. You should know that.” He murmured, causing Jane’s smile to soften ever so slightly, an expression meant only for him. After a heartbeat, then both released each other’s hands, stepping back. Shepard glanced between them, slightly bemused, but decided not to comment.
“Good to see you again.” The Commander exclaimed, “I thought you’d be on Palaven.” His relief was nearly palpable, and Garrus felt a wave of affection and gratitude wash over him.
“If we lose this moon, we lose Palaven.” He stated firmly, but then he realized how he sounded, and a new upswell of embarrassment hit him, so he amended that with, “I’m the closest damn thing we have to an expert on Reaper forces,” He shrugged as Shepard stared at him. “So, I’m… advising.” Garrus finished somewhat lamely.
He looked away, unable to meet the man’s eye. Given the current situation, he couldn’t tell if Shepard approved of his attempts to prepare the turians for the Reapers or not. Had he let him down? Or was he happy with his work? Shepard must have noticed his slight discomfort, and so he turned, gesturing to his team. Garrus took a moment to register them, his eyes scanning their faces.
“James, this is Garrus Vakarian.” Shepard looked toward a large, strongly built human man who stood just off a bit, “He helped me stop the Collectors.” Shepard flashed Garrus a smile, adding, “He’s a hell of a soldier. Garrus, this is Lieutenant James Vega, he-”
“He was John’s jailer.” Jane interrupted, elbowing her brother in the side, causing the man to grumble. Vega rolled his eyes good naturedly with a half smile and a shrug.
“Lieutenant.” Garrus nodded to Vega, who returned the gesture stoically even as Jane chuckled. He extended his hand, which Vega took and shook firmly. As the other man shifted back, Garrus noticed someone behind him, and he smiled as his eyes met those of Liara T’Soni. “Good to see you, too, Liara.” What the current Shadow Broker was doing there, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to complain about seeing a friendly face.
Liara’s expression softened and she stepped forward slightly with a large smile, “Good to see you in one piece, Garrus.” As she shifted, he noticed one final person standing in the back whom he hadn’t registered before.
“Ashley.” Garrus blinked, taken aback by the woman’s unexpected presence. Ashley nodded to him, her expression hesitant and unsure, but cautiously open. Garrus looked back at Shepard and Jane, who both exchanged a glance, their faces neutral. “It’s been a while.” Garrus finished carefully, wondering how she’d ended back with Shepard after everything that had happened between them on Horizon.
“Vakarian.” She said evenly, nodding her head. Though she had a small smile on her face, her eyes looked distinctly unsure, and Garrus got the impression that she was remembering their last encounter as well. Deciding to move away from that topic, he looked back at Shepard.
“General Corinthus filled me in. We know who we’re after.” He stated confidently, and Corinthus looked over at the group
“Palaven Command tells me that the next Primarch is General Adrian Victus.”
“Victus?” Liara perked up, interest on her face as her thoughts raced, “His name’s crossed my desk.” They discussed the General a little, and Garrus found himself becoming more and more intrigued by the idea of seeing Victus as Primarch. Most Primarchs were fairly conservative – they rarely rocked the boat, preferring to keep the status quo as best they could. Perhaps it was just because Garrus wasn’t the best example of the ideal turian, but he was starting to feel Victus would be a good change of pace. Exactly what they needed in a war they wouldn’t be able to win by conventional means.
His thoughts were cut off as Shepard received a sudden distress call from Joker and the Normandy. There appeared to be something wrong with the ship, prompting Liara to hurry back to assist, but Garrus was happy to see that the four humans were sticking around to help find Victus. Even if it weren’t for this supposed war summit, the Hierarchy needed the guidance and stability that came with having someone at the helm. And he was happily willing to accept whatever assistance Shepard was willing to give.
An electric screech rent the air.
“Incoming Harvester, heading for the airfield!” Vega exclaimed as a giant beast swooped low over the base. Cries went up as everyone dropped what they were doing and reached for the nearest weapons. Garrus pulled out his rifle and aimed for the flying creature, managing only a few hits before it went out of range.
Before he knew it, Garrus found himself following after Shepard, Jane, Vega, and Ashley as they went to meet the waves of Reaper forces massing at the nearby airfield. It felt damn good to be fighting alongside Jane and Shepard again, he hadn’t realized exactly how much he’d missed it. It felt like a dance, achieving a level of synchronicity he never managed when fighting alongside his fellow turians. He could almost pretend they were back in the Collector base, which suddenly felt like nothing in comparison to what they faced now.
Garrus glanced up, his high instantly cooling as reality hit him square in the face.
Palaven burned, the skies above his home bright with the flames of war.
“Shepard, come in.” Corinthus’ voice broke over their comms, and Shepard paused to reply.
“Go ahead.”
“ Still trying to raise the Primarch – but we’ve got trouble back here at the main barricade.” There was a quick moment of silence before he added, “ If the Reapers breach it, we’re done.”
“On my way.” Shepard barked, turning and gesturing for the rest of them to follow. As they ran back through the base, Garrus directed them toward the barricade, behind which he could already hear the sounds of approaching Reaper forces. They positioned themselves along the top, and Shepard took the turret, mowing down husks nearly as fast as they appeared.
“Now this is what I’m talking about.” He laughed as he took out a few scaling the wall. “I need to get something like this installed in the shuttle.”
“Not sure how Cortez would feel about that, the thing already flies like a brick, no need to make it a lopsided brick.” Jane added dryly as she sniped a husk the moment it appeared around the corner.
“Eh, I’ll talk him ‘round.”
“ Okaaay , Mister Trigger Happy.” Jane snorted, and Garrus couldn’t help but grin, reveling in the familiar back and forth. For a few blissful minutes, he was completely transported. It was just them and the enemy, each husk that came between his crosshairs fell with a satisfying finality. With Shepard and Jane at his side, it no longer felt like a chore, it felt like a game, each kill a pleasure instead of a duty.
“Ha!” Garrus crowed after a particularly good shot, “Okay, come on! Who’s next?”
Beside him, Vega stood at the edge, mowing down the husks climbing a nearby cliff with a satisfied smirk. As the last one fell, he stepped back and began changing out his heat sink.
“Like fish in a barrel.” Vega quipped with a hint of pride in his voice, but Garrus couldn’t do more than raise a browplate in confusion.
“What?” He asked, perplexed, the phrase making no sense through his translator.
“Good Lord. ” Ashley muttered, and he could almost hear her eyes roll, though a quick glance revealed the crooked, amused smile on her lips.
“Old human saying!” Vega shot back in explanation, shouting to be heard over an explosion, “Like fish-” He repeated, slower than before, “-in a barrel.” It didn’t make any more sense than it did the first time, and Garrus made a note to himself to look it up when he had a chance. He couldn’t help but flash back to his old pals at C-Sec, he’d picked up so many interesting human idioms from them. How were Ridgefield and Lamont doing, anyway?
The barricade shook as something massive leapt down before them.
“Holy hell, what is that thing?” Vega yelled in revulsion as he brought his weapon up, staring down in horror at the snuffling, slavoring creature below.
“A brute.” Garrus sneered before bringing up his own rifle and opening fire. The beast didn’t even seem to feel the rounds as it charged forward.
“Shit,” Jane growled as she reached for a new heat sink, “How is it so hu-”
“Brace yourselves!” Shepard barked suddenly.
The brute hit the wall with tremendous force, shaking the barricade and causing them all to struggle to keep their footing. Shepard held fast to the turret, but Garrus watched in growing horror as Jane pitched forward, her free hand trying and failing to catch a hold.
“Jane!” Shepard cried out, and they both reached forward to grab her, but it was too little, too late. Garrus caught himself about to fall after her, his heart lodged in his throat as she hit the ground hard beside the brute.
As quickly as she could, Jane stumbled to her feet, turning to look up at the brute as it noticed her. It reared onto its hind legs, standing at its full height, sizing her up before beating its chest and lurching forward to roar in her face. She brought a hand up to cover her face as she was pelted with spittle, her omni-tool springing to life. The brute raised a massive clawed hand–
“Don’t you fucking dare!” The brute’s head was smashed down into the ground in a spray of dirt and rocks as Shepard landed on it, his fists alight with biotic energy. It screamed in pain and thrashed about, flinging the Commander off of it and sending him rolling to the side, and he came up with his shotgun at the ready.
Garrus raised his rifle but then paused before he could bring his scope to his eye, his heart hammering. Jane had disappeared, and it took him a moment to remember her tactical cloak before he could breathe properly again.
They all opened fire, and the brute roared in fury as a few rounds found soft flesh. It rounded angrily on Shepard, who’s anger seemed to match its own snarl for snarl. It opened its mouth to roar, which turned into a pained scream as a fiery incineration burst against its face and the air became infused with the smell of sizzling flesh. Garrus could see Jane a little ways off, visible now, her omni-tool out as she prepared another attack.
Garrus loaded up some armor piercing rounds before getting a few good hits in, his confidence returning in small, sure steps as the beast below began looking more and more haggard. Vega leapt down off the barricade, joining Shepard in his foolhardy full frontal assault, while Ashley remained up above beside Garrus, her assault rifle raining down death.
“Good to see your aim is as good as ever!” Ashley shouted over the brute’s angry roars, a satisfied smile gracing her face as she stopped to change out her heat sink. Garrus looked at her with amusement before switching to his assault rifle.
“The thing is huge, it’s hard not to hit it.” He muttered before returning his focus to the fight. They were getting close, a few more good hits and–
The thing roared again before swinging its fist out wide, catching Shepard hard in the chest with a hollow thud that seemed to reverberate through Garrus’ own ribcage. Shepard flew backwards, crashing to the ground hard, sending a cloud of dirt flying. Vega shot off a few rounds at it as it approached the Commander, but they bothered it as much as a couple of flies might have.
The brute lifted one gigantic fist to attack as Shepard struggled to his hands and knees, grasping at his chest plate as he groaned.
“Shepard, look out!” Garrus yelled, his eyes going wide as the fist came crashing down, and everything seeming to slow down to a crawl around him.
Putrid black blood sprayed into the air as the brute froze, its head impaled upon a glowing orange blade. Jane appeared, standing over her brother, her eyes narrowed, her face a mask of focused resolve as she shoved her fist further upwards, wedging her omni-blade deeper into the brute’s head with a sickening crunch. No one moved, watching transfixed as it seemed to shiver and twitch, its tired body struggling to understand what had happened to it.
Jane glared at it before wrenching her arm up and back with a shout, blood trailing through the air as she cleaved its head in two. Blood splattered across her and Shepard as the brute screamed and stumbled backwards, falling onto its side with a resounding thud . Jane gave her blade a flick before dismissing it and turned to offer a hand down to her brother. Chuckling shakily, he took it and she pulled him to his feet, and Garrus finally felt himself breathe.
“Nice one.” Shepard said as he glanced over at the brute, confirming it wasn’t moving.
“Thanks.” Jane replied, but then sneered as she wiped at a smudge on her cheek. “Coulda been cleaner, though.” Shepard turned to her, just as disgusting as she was, and shrugged with an amused smile.
“I suppose, maybe just a bit.”
“Shepard. Corinthus here.” The General’s voice broke over their comms, and Shepard’s smile faded.
“What’s the word on the Primarch?” He replied quickly, his eagerness thinly veiled.
“Still can’t get a stable comm link.” Was Corinthus’ only response, and Shepard sighed. Garrus turned to shoot Ashley a look before moving to join the others down below, and she followed behind him.
“Okay, I’m going on foot.” Shepard responded, his words tinged with resignation. “Shepard out.” As soon as Garrus approached, Shepard turned a hard eye on him, “Garrus, take me to the last place you saw Victus.”
Garrus nodded, and scanned the faces of the others. They all looked back at him with grim determination, ready to go, so he turned toward a nearby ravine and led the way. He didn’t even need to pull up his map, orientation not being difficult here due to one particular landmark.
Palaven loomed large above him. Impossible to miss. Impossible to ignore. Impossible to forget.
“How far?” Shepard asked, following close behind him.
“Should be pretty quick, unless we find trouble.” He replied, his weapon held at the ready.
“And we usually do.” Jane added from not far behind, her voice caught between weary and wry. They picked their way across the debris field, a quiet falling amongst them broken only by the distant sound of battle – the thrum of the Reaper’s cannons reverberating in each of their bodies and the resulting explosions that shook the ground and demolished ships above them.
Vega seemed like a good kid, his heart was in the right place. It was hard to tell how green he was, but it seemed like he’d seen at least some amount of action. Every now and then, he’d comment on the battle going on in the skies above them. Another ship crumbled under Reaper fire before them, causing Vega to curse. He seemed shaken at the sight of the destruction around them.
Vega looked at him, seeming to notice his eyes drawn upward once again. Garrus pointed up at Palaven, right at Cipritine, “That blaze of orange – the big one – that’s where I was born.” The entire group paused for a moment, their eyes following his.
Palaven…
Garrus felt a firm hand pressed against his arm and he looked down to see Jane gazing up at him with understanding in her eyes. He felt a bit of the tension drain out of him at the feel of her touch, her silent support feeding his strength and determination.
“That’s rough.” Vega muttered, tearing his eyes away with a pained expression. Garrus couldn’t help but wonder how bad Earth had been when they’d left. They began moving forward again, Jane sticking close behind him as he led the way. “Still have family there?” Vega asked after a moment, and Garrus sighed wearily.
“My dad, a sister.” Was all he said, his thoughts drifting inwards as he spared a moment to worry for them. Spirits , he hoped they’d gotten to safety, maybe got transport off world. If they could get to the Citadel, then he could-
“Oh, Garrus, I’m so sorry.” Ashley murmured, and he looked back to see pain etched across her face. He remembered, suddenly, all her stories of her family. They’d been close, if memory served, and he spared a moment to wonder if they were okay.
“How bad is it?” Vega continued with his questions, nodding back toward the nearby planet alight with the evidence of war.
“Three million lost the first day, five the second.” He replied stonily, the numbers hitting him like a gut punch. In his mind, they represented the galaxy’s monumental failure to prepare for the Reapers. They pressed onwards, their conversation continuing, but Garrus barely registered the words coming out of his mouth as he tried desperately to avoid looking at the fires above.
They turned a corner and came face to face with a pack of husks standing over the dead bodies of a few soldiers. Garrus brought his weapon up, as did the others, and they made quick work for the creatures. They screamed angrily as their blood splattered the ground.
“Shit! I hate those things!” Vega hissed in disgust, “And New York is crawling with the creepy bastards!” Beside him, Garrus could hear Ashley tsk in disgust and Jane cursed vibrantly.
They continued on, stopping quickly to assist some injured soldiers, and then later on to check for survivors after a fighter crashed nearby. As they dropped down a ridge, Garrus realized they had to be getting close.
After a few more minutes, the topic of the war summit came up. Ashley and Jane began discussing the species that planned to participate, with Vega questioning the absence of some.
“The batarians took the first hit when the Reaper arrived. Not much left of them…” Garrus pointed out as neutrally as he could. “And the krogan have never forgiven us for the genophage.”
“Right.” Vega snorted, “Turians sterilized them.” There was a slight edge of judgment to his voice, and Garrus shrugged as he returned his focus to the path ahead of them.
“Salarians came up with it.” He said lightly by way of defense, not that it really mattered. Seemed like they had bigger fish to fry at the moment, and he’d had plenty of experiences butting heads over the topic back during his days on the SR1. He’d long since become disillusioned with the Hierarchy’s stance on the matter, in no small part due to Wrex.
“And the krogan hate them both for it.” Shepard added firmly, and Garrus felt his mandibles flick.
“So, they won’t be joining us.” He finished wryly. Jane made a sound as though to speak, but cut herself off. Shepard turned to look at her, an eyebrow lifted, mirroring Garrus’ own look of interest.
“Perhaps.” She finally said with a slight shrug, which only peaked his curiosity more.
“What does that mean?” Shepard prompted, his brows furrowing in concern.
“Nothing. Nothing firm, at least.” She continued reluctantly, each word seeming to be ripped from her. “I’ve just had a… bit of a side project in the works. We’ll see, I haven’t heard from my team since the invasion began, so it’s hard to say.”
They continued on in silence, and when it became clear she wasn’t going to elaborate, Shepard snorted.
“Fine, be enigmatic,” He stated with a roll of his eyes, “But I expect details when we get back to the Normandy.”
“We can talk about that later.” She replied without looking at him, her voice just as firm and unyielding as his, and for the first time Garrus really registered that Jane was not necessarily subject to her brother’s command. As a Spectre no longer undercover, she was truly a power unto herself. It was an odd and disorienting thought.
“If you can get the krogan on our side, that would be something. I’ve fought with one. They’re tough sons of bitches.” Vega added after a minute, and everyone seemed to nod in agreement.
“You can say that again.” Ashley murmured, Wrex clearly coming to mind. The conversation was cut short as two fireballs descended, crashing into the nearby garrison they’d been approaching. Moments later, they were met with the sound of gunfire.
“That sounds bad!” Vega announced, and they all broke into a run as they readied their weapons.
“Okay, double-time!” Shepard snapped as they all sprinted toward the sounds of screams and battle. “No Reaper’s taking this Primarch from me!”
“Right behind you!” Came Vega’s eager reply, and they broke into the encampment only to come face to face with utter chaos. Bursts of gunfire broke overhead as the turians fought back against the horde of undead creatures suddenly amongst them. Husks and marauders screeched as they raised claws and guns, attacking with rabid abandon and utter lack of fear. Nearby soldiers stumbled back, their own terrified screams interrupted only their gurgling death throes as they were overtaken.
Biotic energy shot up around Shepard’s body, and an instant later he was darting across the battlefield, smashing into a marauder with the force of a cannon, sending it flying backwards as its bones cracked. Vega and Ashley charged in after him, their weapons ablaze, their faces plastered with matching snarls as they ripped into the enemy.
Garrus and Jane both darted into cover before bringing their scopes up and taking aim, nearly in unison. It felt… right . Going into battle alongside her just felt right, like this was the way the universe was supposed to be. Jane and Garrus, Shepard and Vakarian. Side by side.
They tore into the enemy, Reaper forces falling left and right as they attempted to meet their attacks head on. Shot after satisfying shot found their way between marauder eyes, and it was clear that the tide was changing in Shepard’s favor.
More fireballs exploded throughout the encampment, and Garrus groaned as not one, but two brutes unfurled themselves from the flaming debris, roaring in fury as they registered the soldiers around them.
“Okay, hit them with everything we’ve got!” Garrus heard a familiar voice cry out, and moments later a volley of turret fire and a number of grenades rained down upon the brutes. He looked up to see General Adrian Victus standing amongst a number of turians atop one of the nearby barricades, his eyes narrowed with complete focus as he watched his men throw everything they had at the giant creatures.
Shepard’s team focused their attacks, working in concert with Victus’ troops to coral and harry the brutes. They both roared and beat their chests angrily, but the number of attacks coming at them from different angles seemed to confuse and unsettle the beasts, causing them to spin and thrash about.
Shepard carefully aimed a powerful shockwave, knocking one of the brutes off its feet, and a gesture from Victus had the turrets and soldiers focus fire in on its vulnerable underside, causing it to cry out in pain, its screeches cut short by a well aimed grenade.
Garrus loaded up his armor piercing rounds, getting a few good hits in on the remaining one. His shots were followed up by an incineration from Jane, which left a sizzling wound in its side as it howled in pain.
Turning, the brute leveled a furious snarl in their direction, and Garrus’ belly plummeted into his feet as it charged. It moved faster than something its size had any right to, and without thinking, Garrus pivoted and grabbed Jane, throwing them both out of the path of the brute as it smashed into the outcropping they’d been crouched behind, sending chunks of rock flying.
Something wreathed in biotic blue smashed into the brute’s back, pitching it forward, its head dragging through the dirt with the force of the blow. Garrus and Jane scrambled to their feet, looking up to see the biotic energy around Shepard dissipating as he stood atop the brute’s back, his shotgun aimed at the back of its head. His eyes were cold and his face set as he pulled the trigger, blighted black blood spraying across the rocky ground.
The beast shuddered, one of its limbs twitching before it fell completely still. Shepard waited a moment before taking a calming breath and leaping off the creature, stumbling slightly as he landed. Jane hurried over, putting an arm out to steady him and he nodded gratefully.
“You okay?” Shepard asked wearily, looking between them as Garrus approached, and they both nodded, the silence falling across the encampment becoming almost stifling. Shepard’s attention shifted off them as his eyes scanned the surroundings, “Where’s Victus?”
Garrus glanced about before pointing to the largest structure, where a dark plated turian with white Tridend colony markings stood watching them with a calculating expression. Garrus pointed him out to Shepard, who nodded and visibly steeled himself before approaching. His stride was confident – not a swagger, but strong and self assured in a way that came with having just won a decisive victory.
Both he and Jane followed after, and Garrus hoped that his presence might help give Shepard’s words more weight. He knew Victus to be a fair and clear minded man, but many turians had no cordial feelings toward humans. A bunch of them showing up out of nowhere while Palaven burned and turians died, well, he supposed that could mess with anyone’s equilibrium.
“General Victus?” Shepard called out, his voice that of The Commander – all business, no nonsense.
“Yes?” The General stood a little straighter as he stepped down the ramp and approached the group, Vega and Ashley having come to stand along with them.
“I’m Commander Shepard of the Normandy.” The light of recognition flashed in Victus’ eyes, and he holstered his assault rifle. His stance, however, was no less cautious.
“Ah, Commander. I know who you are. I can’t wait to find out what brings you out here.” Victus stated with a hint of sarcastic amusement. Despite that, he then turned to Garrus, a brow plate raised. “Vakarian. Where did you go?” The question wasn’t hostile or unfriendly, but he clearly expected an answer, regardless of Garrus’ rank.
Dammit, he was too tired for this shit. After everything that had happened in the last few hours, he just couldn’t anymore. As he shifted his weight to one side, he all but rolled his eyes as he replied, “Heavy Reaper unit on the right flank. I believe your exact words were-” He vaguely gestured in Victus’ direction, “‘Get that thing the hell off my men’.”
Victus’ mandibles flicked in a sign of slight amusement, though his face remained otherwise neutral as he shifted to clutch his hands behind his back, “Appreciated.” Garrus turned to Shepard, and nodded for him to continue.
“General, you’re needed off-planet. I’ve come to get you.” He explained, his voice a hair softer than before. Garrus couldn’t help but wonder if he was remembering the recent pain of having to leave behind his own planet as the Reapers decimated his people.
Victus’ expression morphed into one of astonished incredulity as he processed Shepard’s words. “It will take something beyond important for me to leave my men, or my turian brothers and sisters, in their fight.” Garrus could see the steel in the man’s backbone, as solid as his resolve. Nothing short of the full weight of the situation was going to make him move, and Garrus couldn’t see why Shepard wasn’t laying it all straight out.
“Fedorian was killed.” Garrus cut in bluntly, “You’re the new Primarch.” Shepard nodded before jumping in to explain further. But as Shepard explained the war summit, Garrus could see the slow, dawning realization washing over Victus. The Commander’s words seemed only half attended to as the new Primarch seemed to struggle with the weight of events quickly tumbling out of his control.
Shepard cut off, stepping aside as Victus’ focus shifted to the burning planet above them. The full weight of the responsibility entrusted to him seemed to land on his shoulders as he gazed upwards. Shepard moved to speak with him further, but Garrus stayed behind, giving them space to talk.
“What do you think? Is he the man for the job?” He turned to see Jane standing beside him, watching Victus with weighing eyes, her arms crossed.
“He pisses people off because he has the nerve to think outside the box and make the decisions they’re all too cowardly or conservative to make. He’s exactly who you want at the helm during times like this.” Garrus murmured as he watched the newest Primarch, haloed by the fires of his burning people.
“Good. He’s going to need to have balls to hold his own in this summit.” She snorted, turning her attention to scan the encampment, taking in the tired troops. They stood there for a moment before he looked back down at her.
“By the way, I like the addition.” Garrus’ hand came up to gesture to the newly added Spectre insignia on her armor’s shoulder guard, and she huffed a laugh.
“Thanks. All it’s done is make me a little more conspicuous.” She replied dryly, and they fell into a silence again.
“You know, without him down here, there’s a good chance we lose this moon.” Garrus finally pointed out somberly. Jane looked up at him with a hard glint, her eyebrows raised and her lips pursed.
“Without him up there, there’s a good chance we lose everything.” He nodded slowly, crossing his arms as his shoulders slumped. Ruthless calculus. How many would die so the rest might live?
His eyes were drawn inexorably upwards toward his dying planet.
Tearing his eyes away, they landed upon the nearby hulking, towering form of a Reaper as it slowly approached a base, their weapons doing nothing to prevent the inevitable. “Look at that!” Garrus exclaimed, sudden anger welling up as he gestured toward the behemoth. “And they want my opinion on how to stop it?” He took a few halting steps, watching as the Reaper’s leg crushed an entire barricade as though it were a child stepping on a sand castle. “Failed C-Sec officer, vigilante… And I’m their expert advisor?” He added heatedly, his self disgust and doubt seeping through.
Jane stepped up closer to him, her presence a soothing balm, but not enough to douse the flames licking at his insides.
“Do you really think we can win this, Jane?” Garrus asked quietly, trying to mask the sudden upswell of fear threatening to engulf him.
“ Yeah .” She snorted with a pained smile, but he could hear a raw vulnerability in her voice he wasn’t used to from her, “I don’t know, Garrus.” But then she looked up at him, her expression steel once again and her resolve hardened. “But we’re sure as hell going to give it our best shot.”
Garrus felt himself smile, his muscles loosening as he took a deep breath. He couldn’t smell anything other than the scorched scent of blood, death, and ozone, but he could still distinctly remember the smell that was quintessentially Jane Shepard. He longed to reacquaint himself with it, to let her voice wash over him like the sweetest music, to feel the soft brush of her skin against his, her lips, her gentle caresses–
“Well, for whatever it’s worth, I’m with you.” There was so much wrapped up in those words. He was with her, body, heart, and soul. Everything that he was, everything he could ever be, was hers to command. In that instant, as she turned and their eyes met, he wanted nothing more than to drown in her, to let his weary being find rest and respite in her embrace.
He was with her in every meaning of the words, for however long they had.
“You’re coming with us, too?” He could hear the hope in her voice, and the sound made his heart twist painfully, the feeling so sweet. In that moment, Garrus wasn’t sure there were words enough in his language to explain his feelings. So, he just nodded.
The smile that overtook her face was radiant, the first true warmth he’d felt in some time. Before he knew it, her arms were around his neck, pulling him close as he wrapped his own arms around her middle. Sighing, he knew a moment of peace as he savored the feeling of her in his arms again. He didn’t know how many moments they had left, but damn if he wasn’t going to appreciate the ones they did have.
After a few seconds, after an eternity, Jane pulled back, still grinning as she gave his arm a squeeze. Garrus smiled down at her, but looking up, his eyes locked with those of Victus. The other turian looked on with interested curiosity, his brow plate raised in question as he looked between him and Jane. Garrus felt heat creeping up his neck as he looked away.
And above him, Palaven burned and his people died.
Notes:
Thank you everyone for all your love and support! We're so close to 400 kudos, I'm so touched!
Sadly, the next few chapters will probably arrive every other week until life calms down a little. The bright side is that the average length of each chapter has increased from 2-3k at the start of Part 1 to 8-9k the past few months. I hope that you will all bear with me, thank you for your kindness!
Chapter 56: Part 3: Chapter 3
Summary:
In which Garrus isn't the only turian aboard the Normandy for once.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 3
The Normandy SR2
Stepping aboard the Normandy was at the same time both warm and nostalgic as well as bizarre and off-putting. As soon as the shuttle pulled into the cargo bay and the door slid open, it was somehow like stepping into a vague reflection of home – it was the same as he remembered, and yet so obviously not . It was as if someone had tried to recreate it from memory, but hadn’t gotten all the details quite right.
Clearly changes had been made to the Normandy during its time on Earth, and Garrus vaguely remembered a message from Jane back when they’d first arrived that mentioned the Alliance’s intention of retrofitting the entire ship. He followed the group as they made their way to the elevator, dodging out of the way of a small mech traversing the length of the room.
“That’s KEI-9.” Garrus stopped and turned, his eyes following the mech as it paused before Jane, who knelt down to stroke the thing’s head. She smiled fondly as her hand brushed it, almost as though it were some kind of pet.
“I… see.” Garrus muttered, and he couldn’t help but smile as the thing’s butt began to wiggle excitedly at her ministrations. “What is KEI-9, exactly?”
“It belonged to some engineer working on the Normandy back on Earth, but he wasn’t aboard when we began the evacuations. He asked John to take care of it, but he’s got enough on his plate, so I guess he’s kind of mine now?” Jane explained as she scratched the mech under its head. KEI-9’s butt dropped to the floor, its leg thumping the ground happily as it soaked up the attention.
“Okay, but… What is it?” Garrus chuckled as he came to squat down nearby, the mech beginning to make a low, contented whining sound.
“It’s supposed to be like a dog, just with less mess.” Jane patted it one last time before standing up, brushing imaginary dust and fur from her hands and Garrus followed suit.
“Huh.” He watched as the mech gazed adoringly up at her for a moment before shaking itself and trotting off again. He felt a pressure on his arm, and looked back to see Jane’s hand there as she smiled at him, a warmth in her eyes that instantly took him back to quiet, heartfelt moments and sweet nothings. He swallowed down the sensations of flutterings in his stomach.
“I’m really glad you’re here.” She murmured quietly, “I couldn’t imagine going through this without you.” Garrus smiled and took a moment to thank the spirits that he’d managed to find his way back into her orbit. He opened his mouth to reply, but the words died on his tongue as her expression shifted, her lids lowering just enough for her to look up at him through her lashes as her smile became almost feline. “Come find me once you get settled in.” She added in a near whisper.
Garrus swallowed and nodded, his mouth dry as heat settled in his belly. Slowly, she released his arm and turned to head toward the elevator. He could have been mistaken, but he was almost positive that as she walked away, her hips swung just a tiny bit more than usual.
“Come on, Garrus!” His eyes snapped up at Shepard’s exclamation, “Hurry up, there’s lots to do. Let’s get you settled in.” Coughing to cover his embarrassment, Garrus hurried after the others.
It hadn’t been a difficult decision to join the Normandy, just as it hadn’t been the last time. The first time really hadn’t been a difficult choice either, for that matter. Garrus felt a stab of painful guilt as he left Palaven burning behind him, he was sure Victus did as well, but he knew where he would be most helpful, and that was with Shepard. Even if his actual position on the Normandy was a little unclear as of yet.
They exited the elevator into the CIC, which at first looked exactly as he remembered, until he noticed that it didn’t. Some consoles looked the same, while others looked as though they’d been replaced or updated, while still others had been completely dismantled altogether. Wires and pipes trailed along the room and a few temporary dividers had been set up, cordoning off some areas in a way that distinctly spoke of construction interrupted midway.
Shepard was showing Victus around the CIC, getting him acquainted with the general layout of the ship. As he glanced about, Garrus suddenly realized that the door to the armory was just gone . He blinked, truly registering the fact that the Normandy had undergone some serious reconfiguring during his absence.
“Um, can I help you?” Garrus turned to see a human woman in an Alliance uniform standing nearby, a concerned expression on her face.
“Oh, uh, I was just, er-” He stopped himself with a shake and a breath before extending his hand. “Garrus Vakarian, I just came aboard along with Primarch Victus.” Her face lit up with recognition and she took his hand in a firm, enthusiastic, shake.
“Ah! Yes, Garrus Vakarian. I’ve read the reports, it’s an honor to meet you.” She said in a quick, excited voice. “I’m Comm Specialist Samantha Traynor, with Alliance R&D-” She cut herself off suddenly, her face going slack as something seemed to occur to her. “Or, uh, I suppose I’m part of the Normandy’s crew, now. Sorry, I’m still adjusting. It’s all a little new. I’ve never served on a ship before.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Specialist Traynor. So I gather that the Normandy is officially an Alliance ship now?” It seemed obvious enough, given the few crew members he could see were all dressed similarly in Alliance uniforms, and none of which he recognized.
“Yes, it’s all up to Alliance regs now. We’re still sort of filling out the crew, we have whoever happened to be aboard when the Reapers arrived, plus a few we picked up during our initial visit to the Citadel. And you , now, I suppose. If you’re staying? Not that you have to. And I’m honestly not sure how any of that works, given that you’re a turian. Not that you’re not welcome!” Traynor seemed to grow more and more flustered as she went, and Garrus tried to stop himself from chuckling as the human idiom ‘putting your foot in your mouth’ suddenly popped into his head. He schooled his face, forcing down the smile that threatened.
“Relax, Traynor. It’s fine. With Shepard at the helm, it’ll all work out.” He stated confidently, which seemed to help her relax.
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. He’s really something, isn’t he? I’d heard about him, but actually serving on his ship-! And then there’s his sister…” Traynor took a breath, her cheeks slightly flushed as her hand came to flutter almost involuntarily. She suddenly seemed to realize what she was doing and where she was, and froze, her eyes going wide. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I’m not-!” Her gaze dropped to the floor, her face horrified, a hand coming up to brush her forehead. “I can’t believe I said that out loud.” She said in a mortified whisper.
At that, Garrus couldn’t keep the laughter contained any longer. It felt rusty from lack of use, this being the first time he’d truly laughed in some time.
“You’re not wrong, Jane certainly is something.” He chuckled as he raised a brow plate and crossed his arms. “I hear she’s already seeing someone, though.” Garrus added offhandedly, unsure whether this was something Jane had brought up with any of the new crew.
Long past were the days of insecurity regarding his relationship with Jane, and the last thing he wanted was to come across as possessive or territorial. He knew the stereotypes about turians and he’d seen plenty of pornos that played off them. When all of this got back to Jane, and he knew it eventually would, he really didn’t want to give her more ammo to tease him with. He also didn’t want to start out on the wrong foot with Traynor, she seemed mortified and jumpy enough as it was. If she found out she’d been lusting over Jane in front of her actual boyfriend, well … Perhaps it was best to be circumspect.
“Oh. I hadn’t heard that. But that makes sense, someone like that probably doesn’t lack for options.” Traynor’s panic seemed to cool, her disappointment evident. “Anyway, you must think I’m a complete loony by now. I’m just going to-” Traynor gestured back toward one of the consoles by the galaxy map, “-get back to work.”
“Actually,” Garrus started slowly, and Traynor turned back to him in question, “I’m realizing the ship has changed a bit since I was last aboard, I was wondering if you could give me a little overview of the biggest changes?” He asked, quickly adding, “If you’re not busy, of course.” Traynor’s expression lit up, evidently eager to assist.
“Of course! I was in charge of the retrofits, actually, so I suppose I might be the most qualified.” She hurried to her console and grabbed up a datapad before coming back. “I’d offer to give you a tour in person, but our systems are acting oddly for some reason, so I probably shouldn’t stray far.” She began with pulling up pictures of a few overhead maps and explained the major layout changes. They all made logical sense, if he were being honest.
As she scrolled through pictures of the different areas, he couldn’t help but wonder why they hadn’t been arranged thus to begin with. It had never made much sense to him having the armory on the CIC deck instead of down closer to the shuttles where they actually departed for missions. The war room also seemed like a fantastic addition, particularly given Shepard’s central role. Chances were that Victus would appreciate that room as well.
He was happy to see that the changes on the crew deck were minimal, it being the area that he had most considered home while last a part of the crew. It seemed as though the main battery had seen some upgrades, which made him nervous. Had they messed with his Thanix Cannons? Probably. He was already anxious to check them over and get them recalibrated to his own exacting specifications.
“And there you have it. It’s not really all that different now, still the same ship. Just with a few upgrades, and an Alliance crew.” Traynor shut off the datapad and smiled at him. “Do you have any other questions?”
“No, I think that’s about it. Thank you for the tour, Traynor.”
“Of course! If you need anything, I’ll usually be here in the CIC while I’m on duty. Please, just let me know.” With that, Traynor returned to her console, and Garrus began exploring.
Due to its proximity, he visited the war room first, and was expectedly impressed by the setup. There were a few crew members about, some of which gave him weighing looks as he entered. But as he’d needed to go through a security checkpoint to enter, and had obviously been cleared, they didn’t challenge his right to be there.
He nodded to Victus, who stood by a nearby console, and noted Shepard’s voice echoing from a side room, deep in a heated debate with someone. Content with his understanding of the room, he made an excuse to Victus and left, determined to finish off his self-guided tour.
Garrus made his way down to the crew deck and immediately beelined for the main battery. It was so strangely comforting to let his feet carry him across the deck along the familiar routine. He noticed a few changes along the way, but nothing major jumped out at him. Upon stepping into his old domain, however, he drew up in surprise.
“Well now…” He murmured as he glanced about the room, nodding as he took everything in. The room had been remodeled, allowing for much easier access to the Thanix Cannons. Additionally, the main console seemed to have been upgraded, and an additional one added nearby. To top it off, a work bench had been added along one wall, and he could already imagine himself setting up shop to clean, repair, and modify his weapons there.
He paused as the lights flickered, dimming suddenly before returning to usual. He heard a few pairs of boots running through the mess hall nearby, but no alarms went off, so he decided to leave it be. If it was something important, someone would probably let him know.
Moving up toward the main console, he began flicking through the displays and readouts, and his pleasure began to wane. He’d been right to worry that the Alliance engineers would mess around with his cannons, and it was clear that they would need some tender love and care before they were back up to snuff. He’d have time for that later, though.
Stepping back, Garrus nodded in satisfaction. He could work with this. Turning, he left, pausing for a moment as he saw Shepard through the medbay windows hurrying toward the AI core. Two guards stood there, fire extinguishers in hand, and together, they all entered the room.
Moving on, Garrus made his way toward the observation decks but paused again as he noticed the door to the XO’s office. He was fairly certain Miranda wasn’t the sort to join the Alliance, and she hadn’t been part of Shepard’s ground team on Menae either. So who was the current XO? Or had the room been repurposed?
There was no signage, no clues displayed, so Garrus hesitantly moved towards the door. He was slightly surprised when it opened unchallenged, but he was doubly surprised by what lay within.
An array of high tech equipment dotted the room, an entire wall taken up by a series of monitors. Machines with no discernible purpose were placed throughout the room, along with a bed situated against the far wall. And before him stood Liara, her fingers flashing across the holo controls as her eyes danced between the many displays.
She looked up as he entered, a slight daze about her features that spoke of having been ripped from a state of deep focus. “Garrus,” Liara stated warmly as she seemed to register him, a smile gracing her lips, “Good to see you. Do you like my new office?” She gestured around the space, and he chuckled.
“It’s very impressive. What did you do, squeeze your entire headquarters in?” Garrus suggested jokingly, but blinked in surprise as she nodded.
“Yes. I brought what I could when Cerberus came knocking at my hideout. I would be a very quiet Shadow Broker without my data feeds.” She said with a half smile as she gestured to her wall of screens and he nodded in agreement. They caught up a little, and Garrus admitted to himself that he was happy to have a familiar face aboard. He couldn’t help but remember when he’d rejoined the Normandy after everything on Omega and how unsettled he’d been by the new crew. They’d grown into a close family, and he knew it would eventually happen this time, too. But in the meanwhile, it was good to have a friend from the old days.
After a few more minutes, he said goodbye and turned to leave, only to stop as she caught his attention, “By the way, Garrus. I’m happy for you and Jane, it’s really sweet.” Turning back to face the asari, he cocked his head.
“How did you…?”
“Besides all the obvious clues? You two weren’t as sneaky as you thought you were when you were staying with me on my ship.” Liara grinned at him and he rolled his eyes affectionately.
“Ah, well, thanks, I suppose.” She waved goodbye, and he turned to leave.
After saying goodbye to Liara, Garrus made his way toward the port observation deck with a small smile on his face. He and Jane had spent quite a lot of time there in the past, and he found himself eager to see the space again. He wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not to see that it had been renovated, too, but he certainly was surprised to see that a card table had been added. He grinned, suspecting it would see quite a bit of use.
Leaving, he almost made for the elevator, but paused. Instead, Garrus walked across the deck to the starboard observation deck, wondering if it, too, had been renovated. When he opened the door, however, he realized he was not alone.
“Ashley?”
“Oh, hey, uh… Garrus.” Ashley said somewhat awkwardly as she turned and stood from the couch she’d been sitting on. “Glad to see you decided to join the crew.”
“I could say the same about you. I was surprised to see you among Shepard’s crew, actually. After everything that happened on Horizon…” Garrus trailed off, unsure whether he should have mentioned their last encounter or not. Instead of continuing, he took a few steps into the room, noticing that it seemed largely unchanged.
“Ah, yeah. Well.” Ashley looked away uncomfortably. “I got aboard the Normandy during the evacuation along with Vega, and I went along with Shepard and Jane during the mission to help Liara on Mars. After everything that happened with Cerberus there, and after Jane protected me from that… that thing . Eva Coré, or whatever it was. I had a bit of a heart to heart with Shepard about everything, and we came to an understanding of sorts.” Ashley explained, fiddling with a lock of her hair as she glanced about the room. He could still hear the stiffness in her voice, as though she didn’t quite feel comfortable. He couldn’t blame her.
“I see. Well, it’s good to fight alongside you again.” Garrus stated neutrally, still yet unable to block out the hurt and disappointment on Shepard’s face after Horizon. Ashley added her agreement, and there was a lull in the conversation, such as it was. Bbut just as he was about to excuse himself, Ashley spoke up again.
“Look, Garrus… I’m sorry about what I said to you on Horizon.” She murmured softly, but then took a deep breath, steeling herself. “But you must understand how it looked from our perspective. He’d been dead , and then you all just showing up alongside Cerberus when the colony was being attacked?”
Garrus felt a flash of anger, but tried to stamp it down, determined not to widen the rift. “Honestly, Ash? No, I can’t understand.” He replied coolly, “I trust Shepard with my life, I’d follow him to hell in a heartbeat. My first reaction when he showed up out of nowhere on Omega wasn’t to question him or hurl accusations at him. He wanted my help against the Collectors, and it would have taken more than Cerberus to stop me. And if we run into Tali, she’ll say the same.”
He paused, seeing the pained expression on Ashley’s face, so he moderated his tone. “But I understand why you were anxious about Cerberus, especially given what you all learned about them on Mars.” He’d been shocked at first when Jane had explained what happened during the shuttle ride to the Normandy, but given the Illusive Man’s cavalier attitude about Reaper tech, it seemed a logical outcome.
She huffed a dry, unamused laugh and shook her head, “Yeah, well…”
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here now, when it matters most. Fighting with us and Shepard against the Reapers.” Garrus held out his hand in what he’d heard humans refer to as an ‘olive branch’. He was ready to put it behind them if she was. Honestly, they had bigger things to worry about at this point than spats from the past.
Ashley considered his hand for a split second before taking it in a firm grip, a small smile on her face.
“Thanks, Garrus. It’s good to be aboard.” They caught up for a few more minutes before he took his leave, determined to finish his self-guided tour before he passed out from exhaustion.
His next stop was the engineering deck, but it felt absolutely empty in comparison to their days fighting against the Collectors. There was some sort of reporter holed up in the starboard cargo bay, which seemed beyond bizarre, but he wasn’t sure he knew up from down anymore since the Reapers had arrived, so he didn’t comment.
Stepping through into Engineering, he was surprised to see only one person tending to the drive core. Even more surprising, he recognized the man – Greg Adams, the Chief Engineer from the Normandy SR1.
Looking up, Adams flashed him a smile, “Garrus Vakarian! I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here.” Returning the smile, Garrus shook his hand and they spent the next few minutes catching up. The room seemed quiet and empty without Tali, Ken, or Gabby, but it was good to see another familiar face, at least.
As he left Engineering, Garrus paused as he glanced down the steps leading to Jack’s old hidey hole. Huffing a laugh, he let his feet take him down the stairs. He almost expected to get cursed out as he stepped into the low, red lit room, but it was mercifully, depressingly quiet. He stood in the middle of the small space and looked around, a weird melancholy overtaking him as he registered that the days of the old SR2 were long past, its crew disbanded and long gone. It would come to feel like home again, but it would take some time.
Turning to leave, something caught his eye. Garrus stepped toward one of the storage crates and knelt down to pick up what appeared to be a toy perched upon it. His mandibles flicked in surprise as he stood up, one of Jane’s model ships in his hand.
It was a turian cruiser, the lines of it familiar from his days in the service, and he knew it had been one of her favorites from her collection that had been housed up in Shepard’s quarters. Why it was down in the bowels of the ship, he couldn’t begin to guess, but he supposed he should return it to its home.
Garrus made his way back upstairs to the elevator and stepped inside as the doors opened. He quickly registered that the damn machine was just as slow as before, somehow managing to completely miss out on the retrofit renovations. The Alliance certainly had some interesting priorities.
As he waited, he took a closer look at the model in his hands. It was a good model, very detailed and accurate. He could see that Jane had taken the time to place each part exactly right and had painted it carefully. He marveled as he considered the time and effort she had put into the work of art he cradled in his palms.
The door opened but the cruiser still held his attention as his feet carried him along the familiar route into the Commander’s quarters. The door opened as he neared, but Garrus paused and blinked in surprise as he looked up.
Jane was perched precariously atop Shepard’s desk wearing but a tank top and a pair of shorts, clearly fresh out of the shower. She had the glass to one of the display cases open and was carefully arranging one of the models within, but had turned to look at him as he’d entered.
“Jane?” Garrus asked in a stupor at the unexpected sight, the model in his hands suddenly forgotten.
“That didn’t take you long,” She chuckled as she lept down off the desk, her bare feet landing nimbly on the cold floor, “Though I’m interested to know how you knew I’d be here.” She tucked a few damp locks of hair behind one ear as one corner of her lips curled up with amusement.
“Oh, uh,” Garrus began before swallowing, suddenly unsure of himself as Jane took one slow step toward him, then another. He was caught between admiration of her soft curves and exposed skin – a sight he’d been longing for for the past six months – and the mortifying realization that, unlike her, he was still covered in the dirt, blood, sweat, and grime of Menae.
He held out the model ship before him in answer, and she took another step closer. Her eyes never leaving his, she took the ship and discarded it onto the nearby desk, continuing her approach. Garrus fought the urge to take a half step backwards, nerves and excitement warring as he recognized the gleam in her eyes.
“I wasn’t sure about the, uh-” He coughed, unsure why he felt so nervous in her presence after everything they’d been through together, “-the protocol on reunions.” He all but stuttered as Jane came to stand before him, looking up at him with her impossibly huge eyes that caught and reflected the light of the fish tank behind him. “I’ve been doing some more resea-”
“Shhh.” Jane shushed him, and a moment later she brought a hand up to his chest and shoved him backwards. Stumbling, his back hit the fish tank with a clank and he nearly didn’t have time to register what was happening before she was on him.
Jane’s hands came up to cup his face as her body pressed against his armored one, her lips crashing upon his mouth plates with enough force to send him reeling. His arms came up around her immediately, desperately pulling her closer still as he registered just how badly he needed this, needed her .
Garrus groaned as he opened his mouth to her, reveling in the familiar feeling of her tongue. She pulled away slightly, her tongue darting across the tip of his mandible, “You do realize-” He started, but cut off with a gasp as one of her hands found the sensitive spot beneath his crest, “-how disgusting and grimey I am right now, right?” He finished, his voice hoarse as he fought the urge to pick her up and throw her down onto the bed nearby.
Jane didn’t respond, but her arms shifted and a moment later he heard the click of armor coming undone. A breath later, he felt the armor plating over his hands and forearms come away. Carefully, she loosened the gloves of his undersuit one finger at a time, exposing his hands in a way that felt breathtakingly intimate.
Before he could process it, he felt one of her hands venture up to rest just below his crest again, and he growled in response. His hands gripped her waist and he pivoted them both around, shoving her up against the fish tank. Her breath escaped her in a sudden, surprised gasp and he grinned as he pressed himself against her in a way that felt so deliciously, wonderfully familiar.
Garrus had dreamt of her for months, the sight, smells, sounds, and sensations of her haunting him through the dark hours. She’d miraculously appeared before him on Menae in the middle of a warzone, their minds forced to focus on the battle before them. Now they were situated on an Alliance ship that was currently becoming the epicenter of a galactic war summit, the entirety of sentient life hinging on their words and their actions.
But finally, for just a moment there was nothing but the two of them, reuniting after a long and painful separation. Outside that room, the galaxy was burning, their people dying, but right there at that moment, they had a moment of blissful peace, together. They could forget about everything but the feel of their tongues, the brush of their skin, the sounds of their breaths together.
“I missed you so much.” Garrus breathed as he shut his eyes, bringing his face down to brush against the curve of her neck. Jane’s breath hitched as his hand ventured upwards and he treasured the sound just as much as he did the caress of her silken smooth skin. He could feel the tautness of her muscles just beneath, a testament to both her anticipation and excitement. It was a sensation he’d never thought he’d find as enticing as he did now, but he supposed he could say that about any number of distinctly human traits at this point.
“ Garrus -” Jane gasped as the talon of his thumb trailed a light circle around her belly button before venturing upward. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss as his other hand ventured downward, coming to rest on the swell of her bottom. His hand in her shirt inched ever further upwards at just a slow enough pace to drive her to distraction, and he grinned into their kiss at her sound of impatience.
“Hey, Jane, are you done in the sho-” A strangled cry echoed through the small room, “Christ! What the hell , guys!” Garrus’ eyes sprang open and he pulled back to see Shepard spinning away from them where he stood in the doorway, his hands thrown up in dismay.
“Right.” Jane grumbled as Garrus stepped back in mortification. “I forgot. No such thing as privacy on this goddamn ship.”
“What the hell, guys?” Shepard repeated as he turned back around, an angry glare plastered upon his flushed face “Can you pick somewhere other than my bedroom for that shit? I mean, come on !”
“I’m sorry, Shepard, I-” Garrus began, but Jane interrupted with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Cut us a little slack, John.” The words leaned more toward a command than a request.
“But of all the places? Really ? Ugh, have you done-” Shepard gestured between the two of them as if he couldn’t even bring himself to say the words, “- this in here before?” He seemed horrified by the idea, as if his room was somehow tainted by the thought of his sister being intimate there.
“We would never -” Garrus choked out, heat suffusing his neck as he flushed under the mortifying line of questioning, his mind drifting to at least one time in which they almost had.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Jane interrupted, grinning wolfishly as she crossed her arms, but Shepard seemed to see through her mischievous facade.
“Uh huh.” Shepard brought both hands up to scrub his face with a sigh as his shoulders relaxed. “Okay, guys. Go canoodle somewhere, anywhere else, please. I need to get some work done.” Garrus nodded hurriedly, embarrassment gluing his tongue to the roof of his mouth. He stooped down to pick up his gloves and armoring, slipping them back on even as he beelined for the door. Jane followed behind at a more sedate pace, clearly unbothered by her brother’s reaction.
“See you later, John.” She waved lazily as she headed toward the elevator, causing Shepard to roll his eyes.
“Garrus,” He called out just as Garrus was passing through the door, and he paused, “Have Jane find you a bunk so you can get settled in. When you’re refreshed and rested, let me know. We’ll work out the details of your position and responsibilities while a part of the crew. I’d also love some time just to catch up.” Shepard flashed him a tired half smile, and Garrus nodded as he relaxed a little.
“Sure thing.” He smiled at Shepard before following Jane to the elevator door. Shepard’s door closed behind them and they waited for the elevator in silence. After a moment, he felt Jane’s head lean against his shoulder, and he automatically shifted to wrap his arm around her, pulling her closer.
Her arm snaked around his middle, resting there lightly, and Garrus found himself smiling again. There was a small part of him that was still wondering if this was real, or if perhaps he’d actually died back on Menae. He remembered feeling similarly the last time he’d been recruited to the Normandy, though he supposed he had a bigger reason to suspect himself dead last time.
The elevator door opened, and together they stepped inside. Jane jabbed the button for the crew deck before turning to look up at him. He turned to face her, holding her eyes until she sighed and leaned forward to rest her forehead against his chest. Her arms came up to wrap around his neck again and he pulled her closer.
“I missed you.” She murmured against his armor, and Garrus’ hand gently stroked up her back as he cherished the feeling of having her so close again.
“After the Reapers arrived, I wasn’t sure I’d ever see you again.” He whispered, fighting a sudden tightness in his throat. She shifted to look up at him again, his own fear and pain reflected in them. He froze, suddenly remembering. “Hold on.”
Garrus pulled back and reached a hand back to root through his belt pouch. “Ahh, here.” After a moment, he pulled his hand back out, the sturdy chain of Jane’s dog tags dangling from his fist. “I promised I’d give these back. Consider this a promise kept.” He held them out to her and an odd expression crossed her face. She didn’t reach out to take them, instead looking up at him with a tender smile.
Finally, she reached for them, gingerly plucking the small metal tags from his palm. Garrus felt oddly sad as he watched her inspect them. They’d been his constant companion, his reminder of her, his talisman for the past six months. He’d grown used to having them and he realized he’d miss them now that he’d given them back.
Jane’s grip shifted and she grasped the chain in both hands, letting the tags dangle for a moment before looking up at him. “Why don’t you keep them a little while longer? They brought you back to me once, maybe they can manage it a few more times.” With that, she stepped closer and lifted the chain up over his head. Garrus watched in surprise, standing very still as she carefully maneuvered the chain over his crest. She slowly laid the chain around his neck, and because his cowl made it difficult for them to dangle down onto his chest, she let them rest just within it.
Her hands drifted down to press against his chest as she eased up onto her tiptoes to press a soft, sweet kiss against his mouth plates. Garrus leaned into the kiss, closing his eyes as he returned it as best he could with no lips. His hands came up to rest on her hips, pulling her close as something twisted painfully, wonderfully in his chest.
She hummed contentedly as she stepped back from him, and he let go of her, bringing a hand up to touch the dog tags gently. “If you’re sure.” He whispered, his emotions a sudden jumble.
“Plus,” Jane added, her grin widening, “Now you’ve got my name on you, everyone will know who you belong to when you wander off and get lost.” Garrus blinked in sudden confusion. There was laughter in her voice, but-
“Wait, is that some sort of human custom I missed in my research?” He asked after a breath, deciding he’d be better safe than sorry. Jane burst into laughter, shaking her head as the elevator doors opened and she stepped out, gesturing for him to follow.
“Come on, let’s find you a bunk.” She led him out onto the crew deck and into the familiar barracks. Garrus was comforted to see that not too much had been changed there, and while he didn’t end up with the exact same bunk as last time, they were all identical, and so it didn’t really matter much. “Why don’t you get settled and cleaned up and then you can come meet me down in the cargo bay? You should see the new weapon modification setup down there.”
His interest peaked, Garrus agreed before setting about unpacking his very modest bag of belongings. Besides his armor and weapons, he had a single set of clothes, a toothbrush, a travel weapon mod toolkit, and some rations. It didn’t take long to get situated, and he groaned as he peeled himself out of his armor and undersuit. The shower that followed was probably one of the best he’d ever had, even if he’d forgotten about the damn human shower head being a few inches lower than he’d like.
The Garrus Vakarian that stepped out of the elevator into the cargo bay felt like a completely new turian, freshly showered and dressed in his only pair of casual clothes. He’d have to fix that with a shopping trip when they reached the Citadel, he supposed.
“Ah, good timing, Garrus!” Jane called out from across the large space, “We were just about to have a spar. Care to ref?” Standing not too far from her was Vega, no less huge for being without his armor. Jane had found an actual pair of pants and some boots sometime since she’d left him in the barracks, and they both had the sheen of humans mid workout.
“Uh, sure? Not sure why you need a ref for a simple sparring match, though.” As much as Garrus would have loved to be the one facing her on the mats, he was still pretty sore and tired after living in the trenches for spirits knew how long he’d been on Menae. He didn’t mind a bit of a break.
“She just wants an audience to show off to.” Came Vega’s jibe, causing Jane to raise an amused eyebrow at him.
“That’s funny coming from you, Mr. Vega.” Garrus turned to see a darker toned human in an Alliance uniform standing nearby, someone he’d never met before. “These two,” The man continued as he turned to address Garrus in a softer voice, “always seem to be trying to one-up each other.” With a smile, he held out his hand to Garrus, “Lieutenant Steve Cortez, shuttle pilot.”
Garrus smiled back at him, taking his hand in a firm shake, “Garrus Vakarian, nice to meet you.” Immediately, he could tell that he would like Cortez. There was something open and honest about the man’s face that he couldn’t help but trust.
“Pleasure to meet you, as well. Welcome aboard. Or welcome back, I suppose.” They shared a laugh, but Jane waved him over, so Garrus made his way toward where they had their old sparring mats laid out. He situated himself leaning back against a supply crate and got comfy as Jane and Vega faced off, their fists raised and ready.
“Ready to dance, Lola?”
“I dunno, Vega, think you can keep up this time?” Jane taunted, already bouncing on the balls of her feet. Vega, however, stood more solidly, seemingly immovable.They began exchanging blows slowly, ducking, dodging, and blocking hits that seemed more probing tests than actual attacks.
“‘Lola’?” Garrus asked after a minute, somewhat bemused, and one corner of Jane’s lips quirked up as she ducked Vega’s right hook.
“Vega here has a memory like a steel sieve, so he makes up stupid nicknames instead of remembering actual ones.”
“Hey, now- Oof! ” Vega stumbled back as Jane’s fist collided with his chin, her grin smug and self-satisfied. He rubbed his jaw, shook his head, and brought his hands back up before going on the offensive.
“Point to Jane, if I’m not mistaken.” Garrus drawled as he crossed his arms, a small amount of pride in his chest for his girlfriend’s hand to hand prowess.
“Yeah, yeah.” Vega muttered, a small smile still on his face. “Maybe I should tag out and let you beat up Scars here instead, Lola.”
“Scars? Really? You can’t come up with anything better than that?” Jane asked incredulously, laughter dancing on her face as she blocked an oncoming punch.
“They’re starting to fade a little,” Garrus mused as he brought a hand up to brush his healed mandible, “Maybe I should go out and get some new ones. I know they used to drive the women wild.” He didn’t look at Jane, but he heard her chuckle nonetheless. Vega kept her focused on his assault for a moment before she got another good hit in and danced back.
“Speaking of which, what’s this I hear about you having a boyfriend already, Lola? I really have been barking up the wrong tree this whole time?” Vega announced with mock disappointment and affront, his relaxed affectation laying to rest any concern Garrus might have harbored.
“Ah, cats out of the bag, huh? Who tattled on me, John?” Jane grinned, wiping the sweat off her brow before glancing at Garrus with a wink. She and Vega closed the gap again, fists flying as they both aimed for the next body blow.
“Traynor, actually.” Vega grunted, and Garrus fought the urge to display any surprise, instead looking down at the talons on one hand. He shouldn’t be surprised, he knew how gossip was on ships like this. But damn, news did travel fast. “And she heard it from Scars, apparently.” He couldn’t help but look up momentarily, meeting Jane’s eye again as his mandibles flicked in amusement.
“Ahh, I see.” Jane chuckled before deflecting a punch and returning one of her own.
“So? Who’s the lucky guy?” Vega probed with interest, narrowly missing Jane as she darted backwards, giving ground.
“What, you haven’t guessed yet?” She replied, her eyes sparkling as she clearly fought the urge to laugh.
“Should I have been able to?”
“I’m sure a brainy fellow such as yourself can figure it out.” Jane took another step back, shifting to a stance that Garrus remembered all too well. Vega stepped forward into her space as he attempted to grab at her.
“You gotta give me some sort of clue.” His fist closed on thin air as she flowed around him, getting a hold on his arm and shirt. Jane shifted her weight and Vega went flying through the air, landing hard on his back as his breath escaped his lungs in a grunt of pain. She came to stand over him, looking down as she crossed her arms.
“If you can’t figure it out on your own, then I certainly won’t be the one to ruin the fun.” Jane laughed, but then reached down to offer him a hand, helping him back up to his feet. She looked down at her omni-tool and her eyes quickly skimmed through a message. Whatever she read made her eyebrows jump in interest and she moved toward a nearby crate, picking up her towel. “Okay, boys. Joker wants to show me something in the cockpit. Have fun!” With a friendly salute, she turned on her heel and made her way toward the elevator.
“Like a hurricane, that one…” Vega muttered, turning away to grab his own towel, wincing as he rubbed his jaw again.
“Preeetty sure she won, by the way. Stopped counting after the first few minutes, honestly.” Garrus chuckled as he pushed himself off the crate he’d been leaning against. “Suppose I’m not the best referee.”
“You’re all cozied up with the Shepards, right? Haven’t you been tagging along with them from the start of all this?” Vega turned to Garrus, a quizzical expression on his face.
“I guess that’s one way to put it, yeah.”
“You’ve gotta know, then, right? Who’s Lola seeing?” The situation was so comical, Garrus didn’t honestly know what to say. But if Jane was having fun teasing the younger marine, then he wasn’t going to rain on her parade.
“Guess you’ll just have to figure it out.” Garrus said with a shrug, his mandibles flicking with amusement as the other man groaned.
Bidding Vega and Cortez farewell, he made for the elevator. His self-guided tour complete, he needed to sit down and figure out how badly they’d fucked up his Thanix Canons.
“Ah, so this is what you meant by ‘calibrations’...” Garrus looked up from the panel he was working on to see Victus standing in the main battery’s doors. Stepping back, he wiped his hands on the rag he’d tucked into his pocket, checking the time quickly. He was surprised to see he’d been working for a couple of hours and it was long since past time he should have tracked down dinner and his bunk.
“Primarch Victus, what can I do for you?” Victus’ eyes took in the different displays, the rifle and mods laid out on the workbench, and the box of tools at Garrus’ feet before replying.
“I’m just acquainting myself with the ship and the crew. It seems as though I’ll be remaining here for the time being, at least till we get to the Citadel and can learn more about the situation with the war summit.” Victus’ hands slipped into his pockets as he stepped further into the room, allowing the door to close behind him.
“Ah, I see.”
“I hear that you’re going to be joining Shepard’s crew.”
“Yeah, I hope that won’t be a problem.” Garrus felt a sudden moment of concern, a little unsure what his official position amongst the Hierarchy even was at this point. Though if he wanted to join the Normandy’s crew, he wasn’t entirely sure what Victus could really do about it.
“No, of course not. But I was hoping that, while I’m aboard, you might step into something of an advisory role, seeing as you have more experience with the humans than I.'' Victus explained, and Garrus was taken aback by the sudden request. The Primarch, the Primarch , was asking him to be an advisor. Spirits, there was no way he was qualified for something like that.
“Oh, uh, well,-” Garrus coughed, “Yes, of course, sir. I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you, Vakaraian. When we arrive on the Citadel, I was also hoping to have your assistance in organizing relief for some of the refugees that are reported to be congregating there already.”
“Yes, sir. Of course.” That seemed like something he could handle. It would also serve the purpose of keeping him busy, which would help keep his mind off worrying about the numerous things he couldn’t do anything about, such as what had become of his dad and Sol…
Garrus pushed the thought away.
“Wonderful, thank you.” Victus nodded and stepped toward the workbench, looking closer at the sniper rifle laying there. They exchanged a few more thoughts and observations before falling into an increasingly awkward silence. “So,” Victus eventually stated offhandedly, “I noticed that you and the younger Shepard are… close.”
Garrus nearly choked, his eyes popping at the sudden observation as he felt a flush warming his neck. He turned to look at Victus, whose attention was currently on one of the mods laying on the workbench.
“We… served together on the Normandy before.” Garrus stated evenly, his voice and subvocals carefully neutral. He caught himself twisting the oily rag in his hands and forced himself to stuff it back in his pocket.
“Uh huh.” Victus turned a raised brow at him with an unidentifiable flick of his mandibles. “I noticed how, hmm… professional your relationship was.” Garrus swallowed and looked away. He’d seen them embrace on Menae, of course he’d put two and two together. “Interesting to see a turian wearing Alliance dog tags.” Victus remarked, looking pointedly at the chain still draped around Garrus’ neck.
“Ah.” Garrus knew there was no point in lying. Victus was amongst the sharpest, most observant men in the entire Hierarchy, he hadn’t made it to the top by dumb luck. He felt himself stand a little taller, concern growing by the moment as he considered the potential ramifications. He couldn’t think of what regs they were possibly breaking. Honestly, it wasn’t really any of the Primarch’s business, but-
“If you’re going to be serving as an advisor, I need to know that your opinions and loyalties are not compromised. The humans are far from our enemies, but we will be negotiating with them for the good of our respective peoples. Whatever is going on between you and Spectre Shepard, will it affect your ability to do your job for the good of the Hierarchy?”
They stood staring each other down, a cold brick wedging itself deep in Garrus belly. Still, he refused to roll over, refused to make promises he knew he wouldn’t keep.
“My relationship with Jane won’t prevent me from doing my job to the best of my ability, sir.” He stated firmly, his voice quiet but earnest. After a pause, his sub vocals hummed with soft amusement and affection, and he added, “I think she’d beat my ass if she thought I was letting her become a distraction.”
“I see.”
“As a Council Spectre, she works for the good of all species in Council space, not just humanity.” Garrus pointed out and Victus seemed to consider his words, his expression becoming thoughtful with a flick of his mandibles.
“Point taken. So long as your work continues to be exemplary, then I can’t see it being a problem.” Victus’ mandibles flicked again, then his face softened and his eyes took on a far off look as though his thoughts were elsewhere. “With everything happening in the galaxy right now, I suppose we should take our happiness as we can.”
The two men stood there in silence, their hearts and minds drifting to their burning planet and their dying people. Victus inhaled after a moment, letting it go in a long exhale as he turned to the door.
“Get some rest, Vakarian. The real work begins soon.” His shoulders seemed to square as the door opened and he stepped out. “A husk’s bloodthirst has nothing on a politician’s.”
Notes:
I hated waiting an extra week to post this, I'm very sorry to make you all wait. I hope it is worth it, however! Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement, it really helps when life gets a little crazy sometimes! The next update will probably also be a two week wait, so thank you all for your patience and love. You're all the best! 🥰
Thank you, as always, to my beta reader thelordofdarkreunion, and congratulations to him for finishing his longfic series over at ffnet! I believe it's still updating here on Ao3, but no matter where you prefer to read, I recommend checking his work out, particularly if you enjoy epic battles!
Chapter 57: part 3: Chapter 4
Summary:
In which Garrus goes to school.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 4
The Normandy SR2
The next morning, as they made their way toward the Citadel, Garrus found it easy to slip back into some of his old routines from his last stay aboard the Normandy. Granted, there was no one assigned to manage the little kitchenette, but it was easy enough to heat up his own dextro ration packs. He silently thanked Shepard’s foresight to pick up a crate of them before beginning their mission to pick up the Primarch, else it would have been a hungry couple of days.
The biggest change, of course, was the crew. Once again surrounded by unfamiliar human faces, it was at least a comfort to know they were not Cerberus this time, particularly since learning about their mass indoctrination. There was the added comfort of having a number of old friends between Adams, Ashley, and Liara from the SR1, in addition to Shepard and Jane.
As soon as he was done with breakfast, however, he realized with a start that there was someone else from the SR1 aboard whom he had not yet seen. After cleaning up, he took the elevator to the CIC deck and made his way toward the cockpit, eyeing again some of the temporary ductwork, pipes, and wires laying about.
“ Hello, Garrus. ” He registered a woman’s greeting as they passed each other, her bright orange glasses catching his eye. He opened his mouth to respond, but did a double take, freezing as he spun around to watch her go. Words died before they even reached his tongue.
At first he’d thought she was naked, but then he realized she wasn’t even human . Not really, not entirely, at least. She had a human form, but wasmade completely of some sort of synthetic material, not flesh. Her hair appeared to be, in fact, a single piece shaped to look like a human hair style. Or was it a single piece? On second thought, he couldn’t even tell.
Garrus watched with wide eyes as she continued walking away until she came to a stop by Traynor’s console. The two women began speaking, and from the human woman’s lack of horrified scream or general alarm, Garrus decided that this… Mech? Cyborg? Whatever it was, it was indeed supposed to be there.
Whatever it was, it finished up its conversation with Traynor and then walked through the doors to the war room. But there was no alarm, and so Garrus slowly turned and entered the cockpit.
“Who, or what , was that?” Garrus muttered as he came to a stop, and Joker spun his chair around to face him.
“Oh, wow, yes, it’s been such a long time, it’s so good to see you, too, Garrus! Thank you so much for popping round to say hi as soon as you got on board, I reeaaally appreciate it. So kind.” Joker replied with heavy sarcasm and an eyeroll, and Garrus huffed a sigh as he rested a hand on his hip.
“Yeah, yeah… Sorry I didn’t stop by sooner. Just been a bit busy. You know, what with the war against the Reapers and everything. But it’s good to see you, Joker.” He finished earnestly, causing the corner of Joker’s lips to twitch into a smile.
“Fiiiine, I forgive you. What was that you were saying when you came in?”
“I walked past some sort of, I don’t even know what it was. Was it a mech?”
“Oh! That beautiful work of art is the body EDI now calls home.” Joker announced, his joy evident as a giddy grin spread across his face. Garrus blinked, drawing back slightly in amazement.
“Wait, what? That was EDI?”
“I know! Isn’t it amazing? I still can’t believe it.” The awe and excitement in Joker’s voice made Garrus smile, despite his own incredulity. There was something sweet about the other man’s elation. Until- “I mean, did you see her curves !” Joker’s hands came up to trace an imaginary hourglass shape before him as he bit his lower lip.
Garrus’ smile melted off his face to be replaced with a deadpan stare and a sigh. Spinning, he shoved his hands in his pockets before leaving the cockpit and the perverted pilot behind him. “ Splendid as always, Joker.”
“What? Oh, come on, Garrus!” Joker hollered after him, laughter in his voice. “Don’t give me that high and mighty attitude, I know perfectly well what your opinion is on boobs these days!” The pilot's laughter followed him as he made his way through the CIC.
Back during their mission against the Collectors, a good deal of Garrus’ time had been spent working on the Normandy’s weapon systems. While this was still among his chief responsibilities, he also found much of his first day spent with Victus in the War Room as they began piecing together an understanding of the Hierarchy’s current situation in the war against the Reapers. Communication with Palaven and the colonies was spotty at best, nonexistent at worst, but they were doing what they could to understand the positions and statuses of the various fleets and casualty rates.
Even hours into it, Garrus still found himself pausing to marvel at the fact that the Primarch of Palaven was stopping to listen and consider his thoughts and suggestions. The fact that anyone , let alone Primarch Victus, was listening to him was astonishing, quite frankly. Seemed like just a few minutes ago he was an angry C-Sec officer getting yelled at for roughing up criminals, but here he was, all respectable and professional. Miracles really do happen, he supposed.
Garrus blinked and refocused his attention to the conversation between Victus and Shepard as they discussed the likelihood of krogan assistance on Palaven. Honestly, he thought that it was a longshot, but maybe that was just him. Shepard seemed determined to give it a go, and if anyone could convince the krogran, it would be Shepard. So, Garrus decided to give the man the benefit of a judgment reserved.
“Garrus, can you get me any more information about the supply stockpiles your team began setting up?” Shepard began as he pulled up a holo display, scrolling through a few lists he’d begun making, “I need to know what sort of resources we will be able to use as aid should the krogan agree to give assistance when-”
“ Um, Commander?” The small, tinny voice that emanated from Shepard’s omni-tool was that of Traynor, and he paused as he looked down at the display above his wrist.
“Go ahead, what’s up?”
“ I hope I’m not interrupting, but I found something that I think you might want to see. ” Shepard let go of a sigh. Not annoyed, just tired.
“Sure thing. I’ll be right over.” He closed out his omni-tool and looked up at Garrus, “Come on, you can tell me about those stockpiles while we walk.” Nodding, Garrus quickly excused himself to Victus before following the Commander as he rounded the large center console. He quickly pulled up the numbers on his omni-tool and they talked as they passed through the security checkpoint and entered the CIC.
“Ah, thank you for coming so quickly, sir.” Traynor turned as they approached, and Shepard nodded to her in a quick greeting.
“Of course. What is it that you wanted me to see?” Traynor took a breath as though preparing herself, and launched right into it.
“I found something while scanning Alliance channels. Grissom Academy is requesting help. The Reaper invasion front will hit them soon.” Shepard’s brows furrowed at the news and he brought a hand up to his chin in contemplation. Garrus tried to remember where he’d heard the name before, it was sitting just in the back of his mind… Something about the geth…?
“I thought the war would close most schools.” Shepard pointed out, and Traynor nodded.
“Grissom Academy is more specialized than a normal school. It’s home to some of the smartest students humanity has to offer. Their Ascension Project is the best training facility in the galaxy for human biotics.” Traynor explained with eager interest and perhaps even a small amount of pride. At the mention of the Ascension Project, recognition flashed in Garrus’ brain. Flashes of dozens of eyes watching their every move, blood curdling electronic screams, and the heart breaking fusion of human flesh and machine…
“Yes, I sent a young man named David Archer there.” Shepard stated quietly, his expression subdued as his mind clearly recounted the same events. “I’m just surprised they’re still open.”
“Some of their work has Alliance support,” Traynor pointed out. “That may be why they stayed.”
“What can we do?” Shepard asked, and she brought a finger up to tap her chin in consideration, her expression curious.
“A turian evac transport responded to their distress call and claims to be enroute, so normally I’d say we don’t need to do anything.” She said with a little shrug, but the curious expression remained as she spun to face her console. “But something sounded off in the turian signal. I had EDI perform an analysis.” She turned to shoot Shepard a look, “It’s fake.”
Realization dawned, and Garrus felt dread anticipation begin rising. He and Shepard exchanged a glance, both of them clearly thinking back to the last time they’d responded to a fake turian signal.
“EDI thinks it’s Cerberus.” Traynor continued. “She said the fake turian signal was similar to the one that lured you to a Collector ship?” The last little bit of the statement jumped an octave as though inviting some sort of explanation. Shepard and Garrus exchanged another look before Shepard shook his head.
“Long story.” He replied simply, causing Garrus to snort in grim amusement.
“In any event,” Traynor’s attention quickly returned to her console as she continued, “Whoever faked the signal wants us to think Grissom Academy is going to be evacuated, but I believe they are still in danger.” Shepard turned an impressed, weighing look on Traynor as though truly seeing her for the first time.
“Good catch.” Traynor flushed slightly with pleasure at the compliment, but then her smile seemed to falter.
“If this really is Cerberus,” She began, sudden self doubt in her voice, “Then hopefully this operation is something worth investigating? It could be simple misinformation...” She concluded with a small shrug, her eyes averted.
“Traynor.” Shepard said her name firmly, his hand coming up lightly to touch her shoulder, causing her to look up at him. “Good catch.” He said firmly with a gentle smile, and Traynor seemed to glow with his confidence in her.
Garrus smiled as he watched the other man work. Back when he’d first served under Shepard aboard the SR1, he’d missed many of the more subtle acts of command that had so easily cemented their love and loyalty. Maybe it was because he’d seen more of the world, maybe it was because he now had command experience himself, or maybe he was just older now, but Garrus couldn’t help but appreciate the smaller gestures when he caught them. He wondered if they were a conscious effort on Shepard’s part, or whether they just came to him naturally. He suspected the latter.
“Thank you, Commander.” Traynor looked back at her console with a pleased smile, and Shepard patted her shoulder lightly before stepping back again.
“Have you tried reaching out to warn them of your findings?”
“I have, but the message was blocked somehow. Cerberus must have hacked their system somehow. Nothing I send seems to be getting through.”
“Okay. Keep trying, and let me know if anything changes.
“Yes, sir.” Shepard dismissed her and turned to look at Garrus.
“I’m going to look into whether there’s any ships closer to Grissom Academy that might be able to intervene, but I doubt it.” Shepard muttered as he brought a hand up to his chin in consideration, “I think most of the ships in that area are being used to evacuate and prepare a defense of Elysium for when the Reapers arrive. If we truly are their only hope, do you think Victus will mind delaying our arrival at the Citadel so that we can provide assistance?”
“I’m not sure, but we can-”
“By all means.” They both looked up to see Victus standing by the door, his arms crossed as he took a step closer. “It’s still some time until the war summit is due to begin and so long as we maintain communication with the Citadel, there’s very little I can actually accomplish there right now that I cannot accomplish here.” He paused, his mandibles flicking slightly as a grim frown overtook his features. “I don’t like the idea of someone running around pretending to be a turian ship doing spirits know what.”
“Okay,” Shepard nodded his understanding to Victus before pulling out his omni-tool and typing out a message as he turned to hurry toward the cockpit, “We’ll change course and head toward the Petra Nebula. We’re going to need to book it if we’re going to make it in time, let’s see what Joker can manage if I give him his head.”
As the shuttle carefully began its approach toward Grissom Academy, the Normandy passed by overhead, hurrying toward the group of fighters to provide them with a necessary distraction. Garrus watched on the tiny monitor as it quickly darted around the fighters and picked up speed as it led them away.
“Okay, folks,” Shepard began, turning to face Garrus, Jane, Liara, Ashley, and James, “We need to make this as quick an in-and-out as possible. We’re going to find Kahlee Sanders and the students, and then get the hell out of here. Any questions?” There were none, and as soon as the shuttle landed and the doors opened, they stepped out into the station.
If the Cerberus cruiser and fighter ships hadn’t been clue enough that something was dreadfully wrong, the sounds of far off gunshots and the charred bullet holes on the nearby bulkheads gave it away. Somewhere in the distance, an alarm sounded faintly, and the halls smelled of lingering ozone, a sure sign that biotics had been in use recently.
Garrus, Jane, and Vega moved on ahead to secure the next room, while the other three ducked into the server room that Sanders had barricaded herself in. Somewhere in the distance, someone screamed, and Garrus clutched his rifle tighter, his eyes glued to the door at the end of the hall. The door lock glowed red, but Shepard mentioned over their comm that Sanders would open it for them in a moment.
"I know Cerberus was never good, I saw that first hand while undercover. But…" Jane trailed off quietly, her fingers clutching her weapon just as tightly. Her face hardened as she continued, "The Illusive Man has a lot to answer for. I shouldn't be surprised he's sunk this low, not after what he tried to pull with the Collector Base. But not all of them were dicks." Garrus watched her for a moment, his thoughts also flicking to those few of Shepard's crew who had decided to remain with Cerberus. Were they indoctrinated now, too?
"Cerberus is getting what they deserve." Vega spat, disgust in his voice. "I have no sympathy for them.” Garrus wanted to agree, but he hesitated.
“What if we’d been too late to save these students? What if they’d captured them all before we arrived? These students don’t deserve whatever would have happened to them, but they’d have been indoctrinated nonetheless.” He chanced a look at Vega, who seemed to be weighing his words. “Indoctrination is terrible. We’re going to have to kill a lot of innocent people before this is done.”
No one said anything after that and a minute later, the door lock flashed green and opened.
They froze, watching in horror as Cerberus agents dragged off a screaming teen. They darted forward to bash against the glass wall between them, to no avail. The poor boy’s terrified shrieks reverberated through Garrus’ skull, making his plates itch and his skin crawl.
No amount of force or gunfire seemed to do more than slightly crack the window, and before they knew it, the boy had been dragged through a set of doors and out of sight. They could still hear his blood curdling screams, though, and Garrus was pretty sure the sound would echo in his memories for months. It made him want to be sick.
They hurried into the next room in hopes of finding some way to catch up with them, only to be met with another impenetrable pane of glass.
“Fuck!” Jane growled as she smashed her fist against it, wincing as she drew back a moment later, shaking her hand in pain. The room was eerily quiet, and that was when the speakers sprang to life.
“ Attention all students: Cerberus troops have taken control of this station.” The voice echoed through the high ceilinged room in a calm, even voice, as though speaking to a scared and injured animal.
“What the fuck is this ?” Vega muttered in distaste as they moved to hop a low barrier toward another door.
“ We have no desire to hurt you. Surrender, and you will not be harmed.”
“That’s some bullshit .” Vega hissed, his face contorting in disgust. “Do they honestly think anyone believes that?”
“Scared kids, huddling under gunfire? Yeah, they just might.” Garrus sighed, and they all picked up their pace as they rushed through another set of doors. They entered into a large room that seemed like some sort of crossroads, a variety of doors leading off of it toward other parts of the station. The room was littered with couches, some overturned or scorched, books and datapads scattered across the floors.
Somewhere nearby, they heard the modulated voices of Cerberus troops as they made angry demands. Motioning for them all to be quiet, Jane took the lead and ducked down low, dodging behind a couch. The three of them stayed low as they made their way toward the voices.
The troops came into view. They had their weapons raised, but they looked as though they were trying to appear non threatening. Before them stood a man maintaining a biotic barrier, two teens huddling on the floor behind him. The younger girl seemed to be bleeding profusely, the older boy holding her up and attempting to stem the bleeding as best he could.
Suddenly, Jane was gone, her image crackling slightly as she disappeared. Garrus and Vega remained in cover, waiting for her signal. It never came though, as she reappeared a moment later, her omni-blade jammed into the soft seal at one trooper’s throat.
The man screamed, the sound wet and gurgling, and Jane ripped the blade free as she spun. Her pistol came up in the same movement to rest against the other man’s helmet visor. Without hesitation, she pulled the trigger, and both troopers collapsed in a spray of blood.
“Well, feels great to be useful.” Vega snorted with a smile as he stood and scanned the room for remaining hostiles. Finding none, the two of them joined Jane as she motioned them over.
“It’s okay, you’re safe now.” She said gently as she turned to face the three behind the biotic barrier. “We were sent to protect you, we’re with-” She cut off, her eyes going wide the same moment Garrus’ did as they both recognized the man holding the barrier. “ Kaidan? ”
“Back away, Jane.” Kaidan hissed, anger and determination pasted upon his face as he stood tall, his barrier crackling with energy. “I mean it.”
“What are you doing here of all places?” Jane asked as she remained rooted to the spot. One of Kaidan’s hands clenched and he drew it back toward himself, gathering energy as if to attack.
“Back off, Jane! We’re not going with you or with any of your other Cerberus friends!” He yelled as the energy pulsed dangerously. Jane’s pistol lifted up to train upon Kaidan.
“Whoa now! We’re here to help!” Jane exclaimed as she took a half step backwards. Vega’s weapon snapped up as he came to stand beside her.
“Kaidan, we’re not here with Cerberus,” Garrus stated placatingly, his free hand upturned in a gesture of peace, his weapon drawn but not raised, “We’re not the enemy here.”
“How can you possibly expect me to believe that?” Kaidan asked, his voice jumping upward as his eyes darted wildly between the three of them, fear and desperation creeping into his stance and expression. The energy in his palm pulsed again, and Jane tensed.
“We’re here with the Alliance!” Jane growled, her frustration apparent, “We need to get you guys back to the shuttle as quickly as possible, stop being so goddamn-”
“We’re not going anywhere with you! Do you really think I’m that stupid? You just happen to show up at the same time as Cerberus? Give me some fucking credit, Jane!” Kaidan snarled as he seemed to steel himself.
“Stand down, Alenko!” A voice echoed through the room and Garrus turned to see Ashley running into the room, Shepard and Liara hot on her heels.
“Ashley?” Kaidan blinked in shock, his expression growing more and more confused as he took in the identities of each of the newcomers. “ Shepard ?”
“We’re with the Alliance,” Ashley continued, slowing as she neared the group, “We caught Cerberus’ phony signal and figured out they were going to attack. We’re here to evacuate you and your students.”
Shepard didn’t stop until he was standing between Jane and Kaidan, his arms outstretched. “Stand down, both of you. We’re all on the same side here. We need to work together.” Jane quickly holstered her sidearm, but still eyed Kaidan warily. Kaidan closed his fist on the building energy, but his barrier remained intact.
“How can I possibly trust you, Shepard? You’ve been working with Cerberus, and your pals just showed up to attack us. It’s all a little too convenient.” Kaidan said, his voice tight with constrained anger, and Shepard sighed.
“We used them to take out the Collectors, that’s it . They’re not our ‘pals’.” Jane stated firmly, but Shepard gestured for her to step back, and she nodded, her back stiff.
“Kaidan. I’ve had no contact with Cerberus since we destroyed the Collector Base.” He explained as he turned back to face Kaidan, who looked conflicted. It was as though he desperately wanted to believe, but wouldn’t let himself.
Vega, who had lowered his rifle, nodded to confirm Shepard’s statement, “Commander Shepard was under constant surveillance during his time on Earth and we had a direct confrontation with them on Mars. No way they’ve been in communication.”
“Kaidan,” Ashley’s voice was soft but firm as she took a step closer, her hands open and extended almost in supplication, “You can trust them, they’re not with Cerberus anymore.” There was a tense moment where no one moved, the silence only broken by the sound of far off gunfire. “If you won’t trust them,” She murmured, “Then please trust me .”
After a long exhale, the barrier finally vanished. “Okay,” Kaidan breathed with evident exhaustion, “Okay.”
He tensed slightly as Jane darted around him, her omni-tool activating as she kneeled before the bleeding girl on the floor behind him. She began applying medi-gel liberally to her wound, muttering gentle words of reassurance as the older boy looked on anxiously.
“You can trust me, Kaidan.” Shepard stated quietly, and Kaidan seemed to struggle to meet his eyes, “We’re here to help, I promise.”
“I really hope so.”
“What are you doing here, anyway?” Shepard asked, and Kaidan shrugged before looking down at his deep red uniform.
“The Alliance thought I would be a good fit as an instructor here. It’s been… a good experience for me.” Shepard smiled gently at Kaidan’s explanation, but there remained a cool distance between them. “Seemed like a good idea, at the time at least.”
As soon as the girl was stabilized, Shepard shifted his attention to the two scared teens. Without too much argument, they were sent back to wait at the shuttle with Cortez, Liara offering Kaidan reassurance that she would do all in her power to protect them. Kaidan thanked her before turning to Shepard with squared shoulders and a nod.
“Let’s go find the other students and get them out of here.”
“ Commander, ” Sander’s voice interrupted over the comm, “ I just got an emergency message from the students in Orion Hall. One of our instructors is with them, but they can’t hold out much longer.”
“Understood, we’ll be there soon.” Shepard replied curtly as he pulled up his nav map on his omni-tool. “Come on, guys,” He gestured for the team to follow as he jogged toward a nearby door, “Let’s hurry.”
The group hurried through the doors and down a long hallway. They fought off another group or two of Cerberus troops before finally finding the hallway leading to Orion Hall. Before they even had a chance to open the door, there was a loud explosion in the room beyond.
“Move, move, move!” Shepard yelled as they hurried toward the door. They opened it just in time to see a half dressed, ponytailed woman blast a number of Cerberus soldiers back with a massive biotic blast.
“What the hell…?” Ashley muttered in utter astonishment as the lean framed woman’s tattooed skin and deep red lipstick registered. Garrus felt sudden recognition slam him over the head like a truck.
“Jack? ” Shepard took the name right off his tongue, his own confusion clear in his voice.
“Shepard?” Jack drew back slightly at the sight of them as she wiped a bead of sweat off her forehead. Her eyes widened and her lips started to quirk upwards in a smile as she took a step toward them.
The floor shuck slightly, and Garrus realized he’d been feeling the sensation slowly growing more noticeable for the last few seconds. A flash of movement caught his eye, and he turned to see an Atlas mech ducking through a doorway across the room.
Others seemed to notice at the same moment as they turned to face the new threat. Jack darted across the room, flinging herself before one of the students as she threw up an impressive biotic barrier.
“Everyone, move! Take that thing out as fast as possible! Protect the students!” Shepard yelled as weapons were raised. They opened fire, drawing its attention off Jack and her student long enough for them to get to safety, and the team quickly dispersed around the room to find cover as they fully engaged the mech.
“Everyone, get down!” Jack called out to her students as she ushered them all up a nearby staircase. “This thing’s out of your league!” She turned to shoot Shepard a thankful nod before adding, “Shepard, keep it off us!”
The team began exchanging fire with the giant mech, the pilot inside clearly growing more and more frustrated as he failed to land any hits. Within minutes, Garrus could see clear signs of damage and he knew they were getting close to breaking through its armoring.
“He called for backup!” Kaidan yelled over the noise as he pointed to a group of Cerberus troops entering from the same direction the mech had come. He quickly took up the defense of the stairways leading up toward the students, throwing back any soldiers that had the stupidity to get too close.
Garrus shifted his focus to help Kaidan with the soldiers pressing to capture the students, but after a few minutes, he heard the sharp sound of shattering glass. Turning, he saw Shepard standing just before Atlas, his shotgun raised as the glass protecting the mech’s pilot tumbled to the floor. Garrus raised his rifle as the mech’s hand prepared to come smashing down upon the Commander, but he stopped as the pilot’s head snapped backwards. He slumped forward trailing blood from the hole between his eyes, and Garrus turned to see Jane lower her rifle nearby.
“God, I want to try piloting one of those someday.” He heard her mutter as her omni-tool activated and she disappeared. Garrus opened his mouth to tell her that that probably wasn’t the best idea, but his attention was drawn by another few troops that had thrown themselves at Kaidan and the stairs.
After another minute of fighting, the room finally went quiet. Garrus scanned the room, but there appeared to be no more incoming reinforcements, at least for the moment. Laughter broke the silence, and he looked up to see Jack lowering the barrier surrounding her students on the landing above.
“Kahlee said she was putting out an SOS. I had no idea the King of the Boy Scouts and his bitchy sidekick sister would show up.” She grinned, her voice full of fond snark, and Garrus was thoroughly flummoxed by the amount of affection he felt at the sound.
Kaidan hurried up the stairs two at a time, and Garrus wasn’t sure if he’d imagined the slight biotic spark with each of his steps. Jack began a strongly worded assessment of the student’s performances, but cut off as Kaidan joined them. “Okay, Daddy’s here to baby you all.” She muttered, “Grab juice and an energy bar, we move in five!”
With that, she grabbed hold of the railing and spun herself over it, her biotics springing up around her as she leapt down to land before Shepard and their group. Her biotics slowed her decent, and she took off quickly toward Shepard without missing a beat. The Commander opened his arms for a hug and took a step toward Jack as she hurried toward him, stopping only as her fist met his cheek with an audible whack .
“Jack! What the hell ?” Jane exclaimed as she hurried toward them, but Shepard waved her off as he lifted a hand to brush his cheek with a wince.
“Damn it, how many times did I tell you not to trust Cerberus?” Jack hissed, frustration and disappointment fighting for dominance on her face.
“You’re not telling me anything I haven’t told myself, Jack.” came Shepard’s heavy reply, but Garrus could hear Jane’s tsk! from where she stood nearby.
“Oh, you feel bad? Well shit, I bet that’s a big comfort to all the people Cerberus has killed!” Jack sneered as anger began rising in her voice and she stepped in closer to glare up at Shepard. Jane closed the distance, coming to stand between Jack and Shepard as she used one hand to shove Jack backwards lightly.
“Back off, Jack.” Jane said coldly, the picture of barely restrained violence, and the two women eyed each other up like strange cats in too small a space.
“Oh, fuck you, Princess.”
“I don’t know, Lola. She kind of reminds me of you.” Vega grinned as he crossed his arms, causing both women to look at him and roll their eyes.
“Yeah, okay , Meat Head.” Jack muttered before looking back at Jane with a raised eyebrow. “Looks like a real winner you’ve got there.”
Garrus grinned at Vega, “Looks like you have competition for your creative nicknames.” He muttered as he patted him consolingly on the shoulder, then looked over at Jack. “As charming as ever…”
“Bite me, Garrus.” Jack snapped back at him, but after a moment, she glanced back at Jane, the corner of her lips threatening to lift upwards in a smile. “Better yet, bite her . Probably how she likes it.” Garrus’ couldn’t help the amused flick of his mandibles as he chanced a look at Jane. But she just grinned back at him before winking. There was an audible disgusted groan as Shepard’s head hung, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose.
“Wait, wait, hold up!” Vega brought his hands up in what had once been described to Garrus as a ‘time out’ gesture. “Is this who you’re shacked up with, Lola?” He pointed to Jack, who looked back at him in confusion as though he’d grown a few extra heads. Jane burst into laughter.
“ Her ? You’ve got to be kidding!” Jane chuckled as she shot Jack a look, who stuck her tongue out at her.
“Well, sooorry ! She seems to have some intimate inside information regarding how spicy you like it in bed! I just thought…” Vega trailed off as a few people leveled disbelieving looks at him. He held his hands up in submission with a shrug. Garrus couldn’t help but wonder if this was the point at which he should say something? But Jane seemed to enjoy giving Vega a hard time.
“Ugh!” Shepard glared at Vega, pinning him with a look of utter disgust, “Can we, for just a goddamn moment, not talk about my sister’s sex life?” Vega looked properly contrite, his back straightening as his gaze lowered to the floor.
“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.”
“How about we return our focus to the mission at hand .” Shepard gestured to the dead Cerberus agents littering the floor around them, his lips pursed with his irritation, and more than one person had the decency to look sheepish.
“Right now, all I care about is getting my guys out of here.” Jack interjected, her voice suddenly serious and focused in a way Garrus wasn’t sure he’d ever heard from the mildly deranged biotic.
“‘Your guys’?” Jane asked with a raised brow and a half smile, her voice interested and not unkind. Jack chuckled as she turned to look back up at the loft above where Kaidan was gently comforting an anxious student.
“Yeah.” She murmured, her voice soft and affectionate, “I guess so.”
In that moment, Garrus realized that the woman standing before them was an entirely different creature than the snarling, hissing beast they had plucked off the burning Purgatory prison station. She’d evolved, matured into this confident, responsible teacher, standing tall and proud as she protected those put under her charge. It was astonishing, and for a split second it made him think back to some of the villains he’d encountered during his C-Sec days. Had they all had this capacity for growth and reformation? Or was Jack unique?
“I can’t think of anyone who could care about them more.” Shepard replied warmly, a kind smile on his face as he lifted a hand up to clasp her shoulder. Jack flashed him a half smile before rolling her eyes and shrugging him off, but Garrus could tell she was pleased.
“Well, I had some free time when you were off playing hero.” She flicked her hand flippantly, making her feelings on how he’d spent the last six months apparent. “Alliance brass knew I helped you. They offered me this,” She turned to look back up at her students, “and apparently the students ‘responded well to my teaching style’.”
“Ha! That’s one way to put it.” Kaiden called down from where he leaned against the railing above, his arms crossed. A few of the students that had been listening interestedly to the conversation below laughed.
“The psychotic biotic!” One yelled with a laugh, and another thrust her fist into the air with dramatics.
“‘I will destroy you!’” She called out, and Garrus could distinctly remember Jack yelling something similar during a battle months prior.
“Okay, okay, guys, I-” Kaidan gestured for them to calm down, but was interrupted by a laugh from Jack.
“Drink your juice, Rodrigeuz. You couldn’t destroy wet tissue paper.” She said with a snort and a roll of her eyes. Turian parents had a joke they told their gullible children about how eyes could get stuck if you rolled them too much, and Garrus wondered with a chuckle if humans had anything similar.
“Jack, you don’t need to be callous. They all did a wonderful job and should be proud of themselves.” Kaidan rebuked with mild disappointment, causing Jack to release an exaggerated sigh.
“Yeah, yeah. Okay , Wonder Bread.” Jack muttered with amused disdain. Garrus’ browplates furrowed as he considered the oddly translated phrase. He looked at Jane, who looked just as perplexed. They both turned a look of confusion on Jack, who shrugged with an air of nonchalance.
“What? He’s white, soft, and bland. Just like that nasty ass retro style bread from Earth.” Jane snorted a poorly contained laugh at Jack’s explanation, and Garrus could hear the giggles of the students above in addition to Kaidan’s very put upon sigh.
“Real classy, Jack.” Kaidan replied with laughter in his voice. As the two instructors began bickering about professionalism, Garrus heard their team’s comm channel spring to life as Cortez informed them of the Cerberus cruiser’s return.
After a little back and forth, and a quick conversation with Sanders, Shepard informed the room that they would be fighting their way through the atrium toward a hangar with additional shuttles that they could use to escape. They all gathered near the exit to Orion Hall as Shepard worked on getting the door open.
“Everyone be ready. We’ll go in first and draw their fire.” He finally announced, and instantly Garrus could see the nervous shuffling of feet amongst the students. Jack must have noticed, too.
“We’ll shadow you from the second level and hit those fu- oof -” Kaidan cut her off with a swift elbow, causing her to glare back up at him with a mixture of indignation and contrition, “-err, those guys from above.”
“Gives them some cover, too.” Garrus murmured quietly to Shepard, who nodded his understanding.
“Just time your shots and stay safe!” He instructed the students, and Jack nodded before rounding on them.
“All right, we didn’t bust our asses training you so you could die now.” Her voice gained a serious edge, and Kaidan nodded as he surveyed their group of students.
“Many students left to return to their families when news arrived of the Reapers.” Kaidan began slowly, picking his words carefully. “Those of you who remained to continue training to assist the Alliance are amongst the best, brightest, and bravest I’ve ever met. You can do this.”
“Keep low, pick your targets.” Jack finished succinctly, nodding as she stared down each of her students. Before Kaidan could follow her statement up, however, each student’s omni-tool sprang to life as Cerberus began their next intimidation attempt.
“ Damn it, they’re messaging everyone.” Sanders hissed angrily over a different comm channel, “ Students, switch your omni-tools to privacy mode so they can’t track you. ” She demanded, but the damage was done. The students glanced between each other, nerves showing stronger than before.
“What if… What if they’re not lying?” The girl, Rodrigeuz, whispered hoarsely, fear lacing the words. Kaidan stepped up to her and placed both hands on her shoulders gently.
“You can do this.” He reiterated, his voice firm with conviction. “Cerberus can’t be trusted, they’ve made that clear time and again.”
Jack gave her a hard look, but her voice was gentle when she added, “They’re only asking nicely cause you scared ‘em in that last fight.” She raised an eyebrow, her voice switching to playful ribbing as she continued, “So take your balls out of your purse and kick some ass.”
“ Jack ,” Kaidan groaned as he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation, “You can’t just say that to students.” Jack grinned at him challengingly.
“Watch me, Hair Gel.” Kaidan frowned, bringing a hand up to brush his hair self consciously.
“Hey, leave my hair out of this.”
“Okay, enough flirting, you two! Let’s get moving!” Jane called out as she pulled out her rifle, not looking back at them as she grinned and checked her heat sink. Garrus, however, was able to observe the delicate blush that overtook both their cheeks as they turned away from each other to further address their students.
Now that was something interesting.
As they finally entered the large entrance hall just before the shuttle bays, Cerberus seemed to realize how close they were to losing them and began throwing every last soldier they had at them. Sanders was doing her best to hack the Cerberus shuttles she’d found when she’d arrived and Shepard directed his team to protect the shuttle bay and students until they could make their escape.
Jack and Kaidan had the students sheltering under a biotic barrier, and the rest of them were placed strategically to easily take out the troops as quickly as possible. There were multiple entrances into the high ceilinged room, making it difficult to keep up with the waves of enemies as they arrived, but with their numbers and defensive position, it wasn’t unmanageable.
“Just like old times, huh?” Ashley laughed as they ducked out of cover to take out enemies as they floated slowly through the room, enveloped in biotic fields. Garrus chuckled, enjoying the easy shots as his targets rotated slowly in place.
“You can say that again!” Kaidan exclaimed from above, and Garrus had a moment of quiet in which to wish Wrex and Tali were there, too. Truly like old times. Though, he supposed Liara was safely back aboard the Normandy not fighting alongside them at the moment, but still.
A biotic blast engulfed a nearby trooper, causing him to scream in pain. “Glad to see your time teaching hasn’t made you soft, Kaidan!” Garrus called out, and he heard a bark of laughter from the landing above.
“Soft? You worked with Jack, didn’t you? You think it’s possible to be weak while she’s around? She’d kick my ass in a heartbeat if she saw even a moment of weakness!”
“Point taken!”
After what felt like an age, but had probably only been a few minutes, Sanders informed them that she’d gotten access to the shuttles, and was loading what students she had with her onboard.
“Okay, we’re clear!” Kaidan called out. “Move it, before more reinforcements show up!” With that, he began ushering the students toward the door to the shuttle bay, and Shepard called in the team to provide cover fire. One by one, the students ducked into the shuttle bay, protected by an enormous pane of seemingly impenetrable glass.
“Hurry, Commander!” Garrus could hear Sanders yelling from a nearby shuttle, “The Normandy has pulled the cruiser out of position. We need to leave now!” They all began running toward the door, but the previously relentless oncoming fire seemed to have been reduced to a dribble, maybe a single soldier or two. Before they knew it, they were all through the doors and heading toward the open shuttle doors.
“Take the controls, and get the students onboard!” Shepard barked as he directed everyone forward. Garrus watched as the red uniformed teens hopped on, followed by Sanders, Ashley, Vega…
“Wait.” Garrus froze, fear suddenly a hammer in his ears as he quickly scanned the room, “Where the hell is Jane?” Shepard seemed to stiffen, his head suddenly whipping around, his eyes wide.
“And where’s Jack?” Kaidan ducked his head into the shuttle, doing a quick head count. “Goddamn it, where’s Rodriguez?” He cursed again, running a hand through his hair as he took a fear filled breath.
The three of them turned to face the large window looking out over the entrance hall they’d been fighting in until recently, and someone gasped as the door at the far side of the large room opened. A scream loud enough to pass through the glass made Garrus’ plates want to peel as Rodriguez sprinted into the room, a whole team of soldiers running after her.
She screamed again, this time in pain as a bullet caught her in the arm, and she hit the ground hard. Despite the blood splattering the floor around her, Rodrigeuz fought tooth and nail against three large Cerberus troopers as they grabbed at her, an additional four holding weapons drawn on her. One raised the butt of his rifle and brought it down hard against the side of the girl’s head, causing her to whip backwards and slump, dazed and limp as the men began dragging her back toward the door they’d just come through.
“We need to get in there!” Shepard yelled as he ran up to the window, ramming the butt of his own rifle against it, causing nothing more than a small ding in the glass.
“Goddamn it!” Kaidan screamed as his biotics erupted around him and he unleashed a ball of energy against the window. The energy dissipated, leaving behind a large crack, but the glass stood. “Where the hell is Jack? If she were here, she could-”
The door behind the guards opened again, but to their evident surprise, before them stood an Atlas mech. Garrus felt words die on the tip of his tongue as he noticed the shattered glass that covered the cockpit of the mech.
Even from across the room, Garrus could see Jane sitting behind the controls, her eyes narrowed at the soldiers standing before her. Her crooked feline grin advertised her predatory satisfaction as she tugged on the controls, bringing the mech’s large weaponed arm up to level on the men before her.
As the men all stared down the barrel of the Atlas’ main weapon, they appeared to go slack jawed, and without warning they were hit with a massive biotic shockwave, blasting them away from the injured teen as Jack slid through the mech’s legs at full speed. Getting to her feet, she instantly threw up a barrier around herself and Rodrigeuz.
The second the barrier was up, Jane opened fire. Missiles flew, and high powered shots sent troopers flying. Kaidan sent another blast toward the window, causing the cracks to spiderweb outwards. One more hit, and the glass shattered outwards, falling as they sparkled in the light of the biotic attack and the explosions of the mech’s missiles hitting their targets.
The smoke and dust settled, and what remained of the Cerberus soldiers was scattered across the floor surrounding the blue bubble of Jack’s biotic barrier. Garrus, Shepard, and Kaidan took off running toward them as Jack lowered the barrier and Jane carefully extracted herself from the Atlas’ ruined cockpit.
“Get her out of here! Come on, move! ” Shepard yelled at them as he approached, skidding to a stop beside Jack. He took Rodrigeuz’s into his arms and started back toward the shuttles, and Garrus brought his rifle up as he backed up, scanning the room for additional reinforcements. A door on the upper level opened, and he laid down cover fire as Jane and Jack darted after Shepard. Kaidan threw up a barrier, and he and Garrus ran after the rest of them, vaulting through the shattered window.
They all flung themselves into the waiting shuttle, stray bullets hitting the hull as the door closed behind them. The instant the door latch clicked, the engines flared and they all hurried to grab a hand hold they were thrown about. They picked up speed quickly as they shot out into space, Vega at the controls.
“Joker, we flew out on a Cerberus shuttle.” Shepard activated his comm, still catching his breath. “Watch your fire.”
“ Right, I’ve got you on sensors. Should just be a minute.” Came the pilot’s curt reply, and the shuttle fell into a tense silence for a minute as Kaidan began applying medigel to Rodrigeuz’ wounds.
“Thank you, Commander.” Sanders stood and approached Shepard. “We’d never have gotten off that station if you hadn’t come.”
“Fu-” Jack started, but cut off as Kaidan turned and swatted her leg, causing her to sneer in his direction before continuing with a slight word choice change, “F-forget that. We kicked some ass. Next place we dock, you’re all getting inked. My treat.”
“Jack!” Kaidan stood, his expression shocked and outraged. “You can’t get them tattoos! Most of them are just teenagers!” Jack scoffed and rolled her eyes, waving a hand dismissively through the air between them.
“Whatever, that never stopped me .” She turned to grin at their students, “What do you guys want? Ascension Project logo? Glowing fist?” Turning to look down at the patched up student sitting nearby, she added playfully, “Maybe a unicorn for Rodriguez?”
The teen grinned, winced, and snapped back, “Screw you, ma’am!” Kaidan sighed.
Chatter broke out throughout the shuttle as it continued on its trip toward the Normandy, but Garrus found himself focusing in on the continued debate between the two biotic teachers.
“They’re not getting tattoos, that’s completely inappropriate!” Kaidan began again, taking a half step closer to Jack, looking down at her with evident frustration and exasperation.
“Come on, take that stick outta your ass and live a little, Wonder Bread!” Jack smirked up at him, poking him in the chest, causing his eyes to widen in indignation.
“Would you stop calling me-”
Suddenly, Garrus registered Jane just beside him, their shoulders brushing in the small, cramped space of the shuttle. She was shaking with suppressed mirth as she, too, watched the exchange between Jack and Kaidan. He quirked a brow plate at her in silent question, and she grinned up at him, her smile still enough to make his heart flutter.
“She’s got it baaaad .” She whispered, “Now I get to be the one to give her shit about it. This is just too perfect.” Garrus was about to ask, but was interrupted by Joker over the shuttle’s speakers announcing that they were about to dock.
“Hey, Jack, now that you’re military, you gonna wear a uniform? ” Joker asked a moment later. The question seemed innocuous enough at first, until he continued, his voice full of laughter, “ Or are you just getting the officer’s bars tattooed on? ”
Kaidan opened his mouth to reply, but Jack smacked him lightly in the chest before snapping back, “Screw you, f-” Kaidan smacked her in return, a warning in his eyes. “F-flight lieutenant.” She finished begrudgingly as she looked away with frustration, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.
As the rest of the shuttle laughed at Joker’s astonishment and swear jar jokes, Jane grinned as she leaned into Garrus and whispered, “Never thought I’d live to see a tame Jack. Love’s a bitch, isn’t it?”
Garrus felt his face soften as he leaned into her in turn. “Oh, I don’t know. I think it’s been pretty kind to me so far.” He replied quietly, and her grin faded as she looked up at him with earnest eyes.
“Is that so?”
“Hmm, perhaps it’s not always smooth sailing, though. Love turns a guy like me into a wreck with something to lose.” Garrus whispered as he lost himself in her deep gaze. “And the aim to make sure he doesn’t. Nobody better hurt you is all I’m saying…”
As the occupants of the shuttle continued chatting, laughing, and joking around, nobody noticed as Jane leaned up onto her tip toes and placed a quick kiss on his marred mandible. He hummed contentedly at the feel of her warmth.
“With someone like you watching my back? How could they?”
Notes:
Thank you everyone for being so patient waiting the extra week for the update. I really appreciate all the love and support this story has been given!
Chapter 58: Part 3: Chapter 5
Summary:
In which Garrus struggles to remember the rules to Skyllian-Five Poker.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 5
The Normandy SR2
And suddenly, the Normandy had become a bit crowded.
Garrus thought he’d seen it all when the Alliance became the temporary home of the Primarch of Palaven, followed by a bunch of powerful biotic school children. But adding a Prothean – a fucking Prothean – Well, Garrus was pretty sure he’d seen it all.
They’d received notice from Hackett shortly after their departure from Grissom Academy that Eden Prime had been taken by Cerberus, and that there had been some sort of major Prothean artifact uncovered there. Since it had been on the way, Shepard led the mission to steal the artifact out from under them. Little did they know that it wouldn’t be an artifact, but a Prothean itself. An actual Prothean , who would have thought…
Tagging along with Shepard, you really did see everything.
The Prothean – Shepard mentioned he called himself ‘Javik’ – had holed himself up in the port side cargo bay, the one that had once been Grunt’s space. Liara had gone into a frenzy of activity after Javik had come aboard, preparing the space in a manner that she hoped he would find comforting. If he did, he kept his thoughts about it to himself. During Garrus’ single experience seeing Javik since coming aboard, he got the distinct feeling that the Prothean thought of them as little more than insects under his foot.
“So, what do you think?” Garrus jumped as he registered Jane’s sudden presence beside him. She looked up at him, a question in her eyes as she leaned against the crate he was perched upon. He looked back up at where the windows looking into the port cargo bay used to be and sighed.
“You mean about Javik?” He asked, and she nodded. Garrus glanced around the large space of the shuttle bay. Ashley and Vega stood by the weapons bench debating something to do with a particularly complicated weapon mod, while Cortez stood at the procurement interface, his fingers flying as he focused on the display.
“Yeah.” She murmured, and Garrus shrugged.
“I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of crazy things in my time on the Normandy, but an actual Prothean? Seeing as he can’t really help with the Prothean device Hackett's going to be building, I suppose he’s nothing more than one more gun in our arsenal, really. An interesting gun, for sure. But still.”
“I was really hoping he’d have some insights for us about that device.” Jane mused, clearly disappointed.
“Yeah. Hell of a thing, though. Waking up to find everything you know is destroyed. But I imagine the chance to get some payback is consolation.”
“True. I don’t think you and I will get a second chance against the Reapers.” They both sighed and fell into a quiet moment of bleak contemplation before Garrus chuckled.
“I can’t help the feeling that he’s thinking of the best way to cook us up and eat us.” He said with a grin, causing Jane to snort and laugh. “Do you think he’d prefer boiled asari or fried turian?”
“Ugh, gross.” Jane’s nose wrinkled in a way he could only describe as adorable. “No offense, but that just sounds… awful.”
“Or how about some smoked human jerky?” Garrus reached over and used a finger to gently pinch Jane’s arm. He was pleased to see her jump, but his grin grew as he continued, “You humans have plenty of squishy meat, surely you look the most appetizing. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to take one for the team.”
Jane laughed, the sound bright and refreshing as it echoed through the room. Ashley and Vega looked up from their debate at the sudden sound. Ashley’s eyebrows jumped quickly as she smiled and looked back down at her work, muttering something quietly to Vega. He looked at her with a confused expression and the quick shake of his head, and they returned to their debate.
Jane pushed off the crate and turned to face him. “Tonight, you up for a round of cards? We have that big fancy card table up on the port observation deck, it seems a waste not to use it. I asked John if we could reinstate game night, and he gave me a noncommittal answer that I’ve chosen to interpret as a ‘yes’.” Garrus chuckled and shook his head fondly before leaping down off the crate.
“Sure, as long as Victus doesn’t need me for anything. Gone are the days of being off duty.”
“Don’t I know it.” Jane rolled her eyes with a tired sigh.
“Who else are you wrangling into this?”
“Liara has agreed to join us, at least for a few minutes, and I’m about to ask Ash and James over there. Cortez already declined, but I’ve got Kaidan and Jack on the hook. EDI claims she would like to watch, but doesn’t want to play for some reason. Something about studying human nature? Anyway, I might ask a few others, we’ll see. John probably won’t join us, more’s the pity.” Her face fell as she continued with a shrug, “He could use a break, I think.”
“Yeah, he’s been looking a little tense, but I can understand why.”
“Yeah.” Jane repeated and they stood there in silence for a moment before she forced a smile and punched him lightly in the arm. “I’m going to go wash up, I smell like an old gym sock.” She made to leave, but Garrus stopped her to carefully tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear.
“I like how you smell.” He whispered, leaning in slightly, just enough not to make a scene. Jane’s chuckle was low and husky, even as her cheeks flushed ever so slightly with pleasure, and he let his fingers linger for a moment as his finger tip traced the curve of her ear. Humans were so odd, but he was finding all her oddities to be so unbelievably precious.
“I highly doubt I smell that fantastic when I’m covered in post workout sweat, but thanks.” He started to pull away, but her hand snapped up to grab his wrist. They stood there, slightly too close, and their eyes locked. Jane felt like a magnet, drawing him in with a power he was unable or unwilling to fight. Without looking away, she slowly brought his wrist to her lips, pressing a slow, soft kiss there before letting go and pulling away. “I’ll see you later. Bring your chits, I’m going to clean house.”
Garrus laughed as she turned and left, striding toward the elevator with a swagger that made him roll his eyes affectionately. The world may be burning, but Jane Shepard would always be Jane Shepard, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Later that evening, as the Normandy hurtled through space toward the Citadel, Garrus left the main battery and headed through the mess hall to the port observation deck. He had a very small pouch of credit chits, but Jane would have to be happy, as he’d hardly packed for a vacation before rejoining to Normandy.
The mess hall was currently full of rowdy teenagers, and Garrus had to admit that humans and turians weren’t really all that different. They were laughing, joking around, and engaging in general silliness while Kahlee Sanders did her best to keep them as under control as she could. Humans always smelled a little funny, but there was a general stink lingering in the air as he passed by the teens that seemed to transcend species. It might be slightly different than the usual turian teen stink, biology was biology after all, yet it was also somehow exactly the same.
He left the noise behind him as he entered the port observation deck.
“Garrus! Saved you a spot!” Garrus turned to see Jane waving him over from her spot at the table, an open seat beside her. Ashley and Kaidan had taken the seats across from her, with Jack taking up one side, and Vega the other.
“Hey, Scars. Time to see if turians can handle themselves at the card table, eh?” Vega leaned back as he looked over his shoulder at him with a nod.
“If memory serves, he was always a little too… distracted to play well.” Ashley grinned as she shot a side eye at Jane, who shrugged as she smiled somewhat enigmatically.
“Huh. Really?” Vega mused as he leaned back in his chair with his hands behind his head. “You don’t strike me as the space cadet sort.”
“What can I say? Sometimes the cards aren’t the most interesting thing in the room.” Garrus stated as he sat down in the seat Jane had indicated. She handed him over a drink without a word, and he smiled at her in thanks. Her own glass was already half empty. “Is anyone else joining us, or is this it?”
“Liara should be in any moment, and I think-”
The door opened, and EDI stepped through, looking almost unsure of herself.
“I have arrived. I apologize for being 2.3 minutes late, Shepard required my assistance.” She said as she came to a stop in a corner of the room, positioning herself to watch the game. Everyone greeted her, but after a minute, Jack turned to glare at her.
“What, are you just going to stand there like a fucking creeper?” She snapped before gesturing to the nearest seat.
“ I am perfectly comfortable standing, and this position provides the best vantage point from which to observe.” EDI explained, and Jack deadpanned as she continued staring at the AI.
“Sit. Down. You’re creeping me out, just hanging around back there.” Jack urged, and EDI’s eyes flicked quickly between each person at the table.
“ Ah, this appears to be a social convention. I shall sit.” Without further ado, EDI promptly lowered herself into a chair and placed her hands in her lap almost elegantly. “ My apologies.”
The door opened again, and Liara hurried in. “I’m sorry, I hope you were not waiting long. I received a few unexpected reports that I needed to handle. I probably won’t be able to stay long.” She quickly dropped into the last remaining seat beside Vega.
“No worries, Doc. You didn’t keep us waiting at all. Now, let’s get playing!” He reached toward the middle of the table and plucked up the deck of cards before drawing them closer and looking around the room. “So, Skyllian Five?” There were nods, and he began shuffling and dealing out cards.
Garrus was, admittedly, a little rusty at Skyllian Five poker. He remembered the rules well enough from the few games they'd played in the past, but the best strategies had long since evacuated his brain. He seemed to do well enough, though, and at least he didn’t appear to be the worst.
“So, Kaidan,” Liara began as everyone considered their newest hand, “How have you enjoyed teaching? When I’d seen that you’d taken a position at Grissom Academy, I suspected that it might be a good fit. But I wasn’t positive, given everything that happened during your own biotic training.”
Kaidan blinked in surprise at the question before considering it. “It’s been nice. Really nice. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Given everything that happened in the past, ‘Brain Camp’ and all that,” His mouth twisted in distaste before he continued, “Honestly? It’s been a little therapeutic, I think. I can’t undo what was done to me or others, but I can make sure the same doesn’t happen to the next generation of biotics.”
There were murmurs of agreement and understanding, but Garrus noticed Jack’s raised eyebrow and immediately smelled trouble.
“ Wow, ” Jack jeered with sarcasm, “Bet you had it reeeeaaal hard at your little biotic training camp, Wonder Bread. Must have been sooo traumatic.” She took a swig of her drink with a disdainful sniff. Kaidan slowly lowered his own bottle from his lips as he looked at her with a surprised and hurt expression.
“Yeah. It was. Kids died.” He stated cooly, and the entire room seemed to drop a few degrees as he and Jack locked eyes. Ashley and Vega exchanged guarded looks as they glanced between the two, and Garrus could hear both Jane and Liara sigh quietly.
“Oh, cry me a fucking river. Some dumb ass kids had a few accidents and I’m supposed to feel sorry for you? At least you weren’t constantly under attack.” Jack sneered as she leaned back in her chair and looked down at her cards.
“Ah, here we go with the biotic trauma pissing contest…” Jane muttered under her breath and Garrus felt his mandibles flick.
“Well, when my teacher pulled a knife on me, I killed him. I suppose you could call that an accident.” Kaidan replied sarcastically, his face pinched in semi-controlled anger, and Garrus could see Vega’s eyes widen in shock as he turned to reevaluate the other man. Jack opened her mouth to respond, but paused, rethinking her words. Her eyes seemed to lose some of their fire, her expression oddly considering and weighing as she looked back at Kaidan.
“Maybe we have that in common, then.” She replied in a slightly softer voice, her eyes falling down to examine the green card table as her free hand grabbed at her bottle. After taking another sip, she added in a firmer voice, “But at least you weren’t kidnapped, and then tortured and drugged on a regular basis.”
The room was silent, so painfully, awkwardly silent. Someone shifted, then stifled a cough, no one able to look others in the eye as the moment dragged on. Finally, Kaidan replied softly, “No, you’re right, I wasn’t. I’m sorry that that was done to you, you didn’t deserve it.”
The two exchanged a glance before looking away, and Jane coughed loudly.
“You’ll have to forgive Jack here, Kaidan. She sometimes forgets that, while not as atrocious as her own, many other people’s childhoods sucked, too.” She declared loudly as she stretched and lounged back in her chair.
“Fucking Princess.” Jack muttered before shooting a glare at Vega. “Are you going to fucking deal or do I need to do everything myself? It’s gotten way too touchy feely in here.” Vega started and quickly moved about the business of laying cards out on the table, reinitiating play as they refocused on the game at hand.
The night progressed, and the drinks flowed. Ashley leaned forward, resting her forehead in her hand, her elbow on the table as she examined her cards and muttered to herself in disgruntled undertones. Kaidan and Jack seemed to forget that they were playing cards altogether every few minutes as they constantly bickered and debated tiny matters that Garrus had long since stopped listening to. Liara, who on multiple occasions had assured everyone that it was both her last A) round of cards and B) drink, was slumped forward on the table now, sound asleep and snoring softly. At some point, her hand of cards had been returned to the deck, her chits tucked into one of her pockets.
Beside him, Jane laughed loudly and often as she ragged on everyone and everything, her cheeks flushed and her glass refilled more than a few times. Regardless, the pile of chits in front of her was still considerably larger than it had been when they’d begun. How did she do that? Garrus didn’t know better, he’d think her some sort of master of sleight of hand. It was really the only explanation. That cheeky fox…
“Okay, nuh-uh. You turians are like… fifty percent bird, fifty percent dinosaur, and you’re saying you don’t lay eggs?” Vega exclaimed in surprise, his cards falling forward slightly as he shot Garrus a disbelieving look. He had more than one empty bottle around his spot as well, and Garrus rolled his eyes.
“No, we don’t lay eggs. Does your Alliance not teach any basic alien biology, or something?” He asked bemusedly, leaning back with his drink as he slung his other arm over the back of Jane’s chair, absently letting a finger curl through a lock of her hair.
“Honestly, not really. They teach us how to kill you all and how to patch you all back up, but that’s about it.” Jane said as she stifled a yawn and checked the time. Looking up, she grinned and added, “Some of us just choose to… better educate ourselves. Biology can be very interesting.” Her voice was low and suggestive, but Vega still seemed perplexed by the concept that turians birthed live babies. Garrus grinned before downing the rest of his drink with a wince.
“Okay, but like.. You’re not mammals, are you? Shit, do you even know what mammals are, or is that just an Earth thing? Like, how do you feed your babies if you don’t have, you know-” Vega held his hands up over his chest, miming breasts, and Garrus snorted a laugh.
“Look, James, it’s too late to sit you down and explain the entire turian life cycle. But I’m sure if you ask EDI real nicely, she can procure some diagrams for you.” Garrus drawled as he crossed one leg over the other. He realized somewhat belatedly that he’d switched to using the other man’s given name at some point. James didn’t seem to notice or care, and Garrus decided that the mission was finally starting to reach the point where the crew was beginning to feel a sense of camaraderie and friendship.
Then again, he was drunk.
The AI nodded emphatically, “ Of course, I would be pleased to assist. I have already sent diagrams and related videos to your extranet account, Lieutenant. I believe you will find them very interesting and educational.”
“Uh, thanks? I think.” James muttered, perplexed as he realized he was still holding a hand of cards.
“Okay, okay. As much as I love a good ‘birds and bees’ talk, I think it’s time we call it a night. Someone needs to get the Shadow Broker back to her lair.” Jane stretched her arms above her head and yawned before throwing her cards on the table. She stood and happily began pocketing her winnings.
“Come on, Doc.” Vega stood and did the same before leaning down to gently shake Liara’s shoulder. “Let’s get you to bed before I crash.”
“Here, I’ll give you a hand.” Ashley stood, wavered, and then struggled to grab the table. “Whoa, there. Ugh…” Her mouth twisted, her face a little green, “Someone needs to tell Joker to stop it with the turbulence.”
“ But there is no turbulence, Lieutenant Commander Williams. The Normandy’s course is smooth at the moment.” EDI pipped up, confused, and Jack slapped her back in a way that was probably intended to be friendly as more than one person laughed.
“She’s just a fucking lightweight, that’s all.” She said before ducking behind her and around the table. “Night all. Wasn’t a complete waste of an evening.” With that, Jack left to find her temporary bunk, wherever it was that she’d holed herself up this time.
“Okay, come on, let’s go.” Ashley muttered as she came over and grabbed one of Liara’s limp arms, the asari still snoring lightly. “Can you carry her?” James nodded before Ashley struggled to pull Liara up off the table. Together they fumbled about until he finally managed to grab her up, and the two of them bid the table good night before taking Liara back to her room.
“ Thank you very much for inviting me. ” EDI stated politely as she smiled at Jane, who waved her off.
“Of course, happy to have you. You should join in next time. Did you have a good time? You were pretty quiet.”
“ I believe I learned a lot about human nature and culture. I’m already developing a program to replicate the effects of inebriation, and I believe tonight has given me much good data. ” EDI explained with a pleased smile, and Garrus snorted.
“‘Drunk human’ is probably not my top choice of desired states, but I suppose to each their own.” Garrus chuckled before adding in Jane’s direction, “You’re a messy species.” Which earned him a smack from her.
“ I will be on the bridge if anyone needs me. Have a good night.” With that, EDI left. Jane stood and bent down to press a short and sweet kiss to one of his mandibles, before wishing him and Kaidan a good night. Garrus began pocketing his last few credit chits, but paused and he noticed Kaidan staring at him across the table.
“Heading to bed, Kaidan?” He asked, and after a moment, the other man took the final sip of his beer before placing the bottle back down and reaching for his own chits.
“Uh, yeah. It’s about time.” Kaidan tucked them in his pockets before looking back up. “So, you and Jane, huh? How long’s that been going on?” Garrus blinked, considering. Was this dangerous territory? He knew Kaidan had had feelings for Jane at one point or another, but that had been years ago. Then again, his own feelings had lasted quite awhile unchanged.
“We’ve been together since some time during our mission against the Collectors. Couldn’t tell you exactly how long.” He probably could if he tried, the day they’d first kissed was burned into his memory like searing coals. But alcohol had a funny way of making time and dates a little hazy and he didn’t really feel like he owed Kaidan details.
“Huh. Well, congratulations, I suppose. I’m happy for you guys.” Kaidan stood with a small smile, and while it wasn’t sad, Garrus might have called it wistful. “I hope you take good care of her.”
“She’s typically the one taking care of me, but thanks.” Garrus replied carefully, and Kaidan’s smile grew, seeming more genuine. Garrus felt himself relax a little and the two of them began tidying up the room a little, disposing of bottles and picking up glasses. “So…” He began tentatively after a minute, “You and Jack… get along well.” He couldn’t honestly think of a better way to put it, as Jack didn’t really ‘get along well’ with others.
Kaidan immediately stiffened, his expression going blank. “We work well enough together. She’s the hardass, I’m the softie. Good cop, bad cop, you know how it is.”
“Uh-huh.” Garrus thought he sounded at least mildly convinced, and Kaidan looked up at him.
“What?”
“Jack seems to like you.” Kaidan appeared surprised at his words, and Garrus amended that with, “Well, I mean, more than most people.” He thought back to their mission at Grissom Academy and all of Kaidan’s insistence that Jack watch her language. “I’ve never seen her put up with someone quite the way she does with you. Except perhaps Shepard, but that’s different.”
“Gee, thanks.” Kaidan replied dryly, his expression caught between exasperated and disappointed.
“Honestly, that means something coming from Jack. She doesn’t put up with people’s shit, perhaps you’ve noticed?” Garrus shrugged as he grabbed up the final bottle. Kaidan seemed contemplative as he followed Garrus through the door, his hands full of glasses as they made their way through the dimmed and empty mess hall to the kitchenette. “A little patience and empathy go a long way with her, I think. And a whole lot of stubbornness.”
“Huh. I’ll keep that in mind.” Kaidan murmured as they put away the bottles and rinsed out the glasses. “Thanks for the advice, Garrus.”
“No problem. Have a good night, Kaidan.” As he turned to leave toward the barracks, he grinned and turned back. “Oh, and don’t forget to send us a wedding invitation.” Kaidan stared at him in confusion before understanding slowly dawned and he flushed bright red.
“ Good night , Garrus.” He muttered in annoyance as he deadpanned before turning away to the sound of Garrus’ laughter.
It wasn’t long until they finally docked at the Citadel, and while Garrus had spent a good deal of his adult life there, it was somehow completely foreign to him now. It wasn’t the layout or the places that had changed, but the atmosphere.
Where before it had had an organized and purposeful flow, now it seemed barely contained chaos. It seemed to buzz with an undercurrent of anxiety, its seams bursting with nervous restlessness. On the Presidium, they seemed to be painting a brave face on things, pretending everything was normal, but on the Wards, fear seemed to run rampant. Not that he’d had much time to explore, as he’d only ducked out quickly to make a few necessary purchases. He’d gotten a little tired of having only one change of clothes and almost no personal care products.
Upon his return to the Normandy, the docking area was full of crew members preparing to head out, either for some well deserved shore leave or to accomplish whatever tasks had been given them. Kahlee Sanders was speaking to Shepard near the Normandy’s jetway, her little knot of students standing nearby. With her stood Jack and Kaidan.
As Garrus approached, he could hear them deep in conversation as Sanders explained her plans to meet up with an Alliance representative in order to find housing and a training facility so that they could begin preparing to help the war efforts.
He quickly made his way back aboard the Normandy to drop off his supplies, and ran into Jane as she was pulling on her boots and getting ready to head out.
“Hey, Big Guy. You ran out of her quick as a flash!” She looked up as he entered with an amused smile.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Victus wants me to lend a hand coordinating the efforts to support and supply the turian refugees that have begun arriving, but I needed to pick up some stuff first. I’m going to head back out to get started on all that as soon as I can.”
“No rest for the wicked.” She chuckled and stood, grabbing a jacket off her bunk.
“What about you?” He asked as he began organizing his new purchases.
“John got a message from Hackett, supposedly some sort of lead, or something. John’s somewhat overbooked himself, though, so I’m going to go see what I can do in his stead.” Jane explained as she walked over to lean against a nearby bunk.
“Well isn’t that gracious of you.” Garrus replied playfully as he stood and turned to her. Reaching a hand out, he pulled her close, relishing the feeling of her arms wrapping around his neck.
“What can I say? I’m a generous person.” She mused, laughing as his fingers trailed up her back. After a moment, she continued, her voice having lost any shred of humor, “John’s overworking himself. There’s only so much I can do to help, but I’ll happily do what I can. But don’t let me distract you, you seem to be in a rush.” Groaning, Garrus pulled away.
“Yeah, but maybe we can grab dinner later?”
“That sounds nice.” Jane said as she stepped back with that smile he knew was reserved just for him. What had he done to deserve her? He’d never figure it out, but who was he to argue? “Let’s pick a nice place on the Presidium. I’m going to be up that way anyway.”
“Anything for you.” And boy did he mean it, especially when she smiled at him like that. Jane’s cheeks pinkened slightly with pleasure and he could feel his chest tighten slightly.
“See you then. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“Let’s check on those medi-gel supplies.” Garrus stated as he handed off a datapad to a tired looking Hierarchy soldier. He’d been at this for hours already, and still felt like he hadn’t made a dent in what needed to be done. The area designated for turian refugees was worse than they’d been told. It was basically a temporary slum wedged into an unused docking bay, and the only positive thing to be said about it was that it was at least in a better state than the nearby area designated for batarians. But that was hardly a comfort.
“Yes, sir.” Was the weary reply, and Garrus could see the bone deep exhaustion in the man’s eyes. He tried to stop the voice in his head that hissed it’s only going to get worse . He forced himself to remember that at least the Council had agreed to give them this space in the first place.
“And have we heard anything from the hospital?” He continued, doing his best to keep a shred of command in his voice.
“The surgeons there are all busy.” Came the man’s leaden reply, and Garrus cursed under his breath as he turned and eyed the nearby cots full of injured turians.
“Keep on it. Some of these wounded don’t have much time.” He exclaimed somewhat unnecessarily, gesturing to the cots. Every time he laid eyes on them, it was impossible not to begin searching for familiar faces. Familiar markings.
He tore his eyes away. He’d seen no mention of his father or sister in the refugee registry, and they clearly weren’t there. Not yet. He’d keep watching the logs, though. It was heartbreaking to listen to the sobbing of the survivors, the moans of the injured, and to see the listless stares of those who had seen far more death than any mortal ever should. And there was so much that needed to be done still. He wished he had twenty more men to delegate to. It would be a full time job just to keep these refugee camps supplied and organized, and he had to get as much done as he could in the few days he had before the Normandy left again.
“ There’s nothing this galaxy can’t beat if we all work together!” Garrus winced at the almost shrill voice of the glowing orange VI set up nearby. Turning, he shot a glare at the vendor before rolling his eyes. The old Shepard VI was funny when they’d gotten a copy on Omega all those months ago. It seemed much less so at the moment.
“What about the food we were promised?” Garrus turned back to the overworked soldier. The man sighed.
“It’s been allocated to the Presidium.” He said, his words laced with defeat. The smoldering anger and disgust that had begun building in Garrus’ chest the moment he’d set foot in the docks began catching fire. Suddenly, a nice dinner on the Presidium didn’t sound quite as appetizing.
“Then contact Commander Bailey over at C-Sec.” He stated, trying not to take his anger out on the poor soldier before him, “And tell him Garrus Vakarian would consider it a personal favor if he could ‘reallocate’ the shipment so these people don’t starve .”
“ Except the Reapers. Ever see the size of one of those things?” The Shepard VI chirped nearby, and Garrus saw red. Of all the inappropriate, insensitive, outlandishly stupid…
“And can someone shut that thing up?” He snapped as he rounded on the vendor, whose eyes widened in confused indignation.
“I have every right to sell here, you can’t-”
Garrus’ omni-tool rang, the sound grating and aggravating on his already raw nerves, and he looked down to see an incoming voice call. He hit the button with unnecessary force.
“ WHAT?” He snarled into his omni-tool, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that he would regret his temper if the caller was Victus.
“ Garrus. ” The anger washed off of him like soap in hot water.
“Jane?”
“ I could… use your help.” There was a fatigued, almost despondent, defeated quality to her voice that immediately put him on edge.
“What’s wrong? What happened?” He asked sharply, and he heard her sigh.
“ I was just shot at. Somewhat unexpectedly .”
“Are you okay? What happened? Where are you? I’ll be right there.” Garrus peppered her with questions as anxiety seeped through his veins like cold fire.
“ I’ll send you a nav-point. C-Sec is on their way, but I don't think they're going to be a whole lot of help. I’ll explain more when you get here.”
“Sure thing, I’ll be there as quick as I can.”
“ Thanks, see you soon.” With that, they ended the call, and Garrus began the process of tying off loose ends before he could leave. After putting together a quick list for the soldiers to accomplish, Garrus hurried toward to the nearest public transport console.
The nav-point led him to an apartment located in a quiet, private area of the Presidium. There were two other sky cards already parked out front of it, leaving just enough space for Garrus’. He leapt out of the car and hurried through the door, but then froze.
It wasn’t so much an apartment as it was a lab of some sort. Or perhaps a museum. Artifacts of all sorts cluttered the room to form the most bizarre collection Garrus had ever seen. A huge skeleton hung from the ceiling, the remains of some sort of creature. By the door was, if he wasn’t mistaken, a chunk of Sovereign, the Reaper that had originally attacked the Citadel with Saren. He shuddered and hoped it was properly shielded.
Screens and displays littered every surface, datapads strewn about. Actual sheets of papers formed messy piles on various tables, and a collection of giant rocks took up a display in the back of the room.
But the lab, or whatever it was, was empty.
“Jane?” Garrus called out, his pulse hammering in his neck as prickling fears began weedling their way into his brain.
“In here!” He let himself breathe as he heard her voice call out from the next room, and he followed the sound through a doorway into another room just as bizarre as the first.
A large galaxy map took up a good chunk of one wall, across from windows that were cluttered with photos connected with string like some sort of old school murder investigation. At the far wall stood a display case with what appeared to Prothean technology.
“Over here.” Jane muttered from nearby, and Garrus moved further into the room. He found her sitting atop a low crate, her forearms resting on her knees as she slumped forward. He hurried forward to crouch before her.
“Are you okay? What happened?” Sighing, she sat up as her eyes locked onto something on the floor off to the side. Garrus turned slightly to follow her gaze, and stiffened at the sight of dried, red liquid. “Is that-?”
“Not mine. The doctor I was sent to meet with. He was murdered right in front of me.” Jane paused, her face twisted in consternation. “I couldn’t save him.” She stood, and Garrus stepped back to eye her up and down, confirming any lack of injury.
“Who did it? What happened to the killer?”
“It was his assistant. He was… I don’t know. Indoctrinated, maybe. But, it was different, somehow. I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” Her brows drew down in confusion as she seemed to consider. Garrus sighed, relief slowly starting to relax his shoulders.
“Where is he now? Did he get away?”
“What? Oh. No, I incapacitated him. Not sure I’d call it my finest moment. I don’t recommend bringing a datapad to a gun fight.” Jane gestured to a nearby desk where Garrus could see a broken datapad. “Not that I’m stupid enough to go about armed, I just didn’t have much time to react. And I needed him alive for information. He’s with C-Sec now. Not that I think he’ll be of much more help at this point.”
“I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a datapad used successfully in self defense before. But if I know you, you could probably turn anything into a murder weapon if you tried hard enough.” That got a smile out of her, and he brought a hand up to squeeze her shoulder lightly in support. “Why isn’t C-Sec still here?”
“I dismissed them. Don’t want them messing with the investigation.” She explained, and Garrus was about to inquire further but stopped as he looked around and noticed EDI standing at a nearby console. She nodded to him before returning to her browsing.
“Did you guys learn anything from him?”
“Yeah. Both from the assistant and from some files EDI’s found.” Jane quickly outlined a strange story about a dead Reaper and some sort of creature. A Leviathan.
“ We found an audio log from one of the Doctor’s researchers, someone named Garneau. ” EDI explained as she came over to join them. “We believe he might have been tracking Leviathan. We might be able to use the galaxy map program here to extrapolate Garneau’s path, and thus Leviathan’s. But we will need to narrow down the search parameters by looking for clues amongst the data they were studying here in the lab.”
“Which is why we could use your help, Officer Vakarian.” Jane added as Garrus turned to let his eyes roam the cluttered lab again, trying not to grin at her usage of his old title. It sounded strangely sexy coming from her, but he squashed down the momentary distraction. “We need to sift through all this data and figure out what we can use to track this researcher’s path. If we can find this Leviathan, then maybe we can get it to fight the Reapers, too.”
He stood there for a moment mulling over everything he’d been told, taking it all in. “What’s Shepard’s opinion about all of this? I’m surprised he didn’t come running the moment you told him.” Jane stiffened, her lips pursing as she looked away.
“He has no opinion because I haven’t told him anything yet.” Garrus raised his brow plates at her, and she huffed a sigh. “Don’t give me that look. I’m not keeping secrets from him, not anymore. It’s just…” She trailed off, glancing at EDI before continuing, “He has enough on his plate right now. This is something we can handle without burdening him, at least for the time being. If we end up needing his help, I’ll explain everything. Until then, I don’t see the need to add more to his overfull plate.”
“Fine, you have a good point. Where would you like to start?”
They spent the next few hours sifting through piles of information and strange artifacts, piecing together seemingly unconnected clues to where this researcher, Garneau, could possibly have gone. With each clue they uncovered, EDI input new search parameters into the galaxy map. One by one, they managed to exclude the various systems until they were left with one location blinking softly in the middle of the map.
“The Aysur system… Okay, EDI, make a note of the location.” Jane murmured as she stared at the map with furrowed brows, her arms crossed. “I’ll see what I can do about getting us over there to investigate as soon as we’re able. I think we need to handle this whole war summit thing first, but perhaps after that.”
“ Of course. ” EDI replied with a nod. “ I’ve backed up all the data we found. I’ll head back to the Normandy for now, unless you need any further assistance at the moment ?” Jane shook her head and they said their goodbyes before EDI made her way toward the door.
“Are we finished here? We should probably get going, too” Garrus pointed out, taking a step backwards in the direction he knew the door to be in. His back hit a desk, and he turned just in time to hear an ear splitting shriek. “Holy shit!” Garrus yelled in horror at the howling husk before him as he scrabbled for his holstered sidearm.
Before he could detach it from its maglock, however, he froze. It wasn’t a husk, but rather a mounted husk head he’d seen earlier. He’d incorrectly assumed it to be a model or some sort of paper weight, but apparently it was genuine, an authentic husk head, and somehow still… alive? If you could call husks alive .
Garrus’ breathing was still heavy as his heart rate slowly returned to normal, and he felt Jane slap him on the back as she came to stand beside him.
“Ghastly, isn’t it? Dr. Bryson clearly was an… interesting guy.” She muttered, and he couldn’t manage much other than a grunt in reply. “Come on, let’s get going. I believe I owe you dinner.”
Garrus smiled as he let her lead him out of the lab and into the synthetic sunlight.
“Sounds good, but how about we rethink the restaurant. I’m not feeling too hot on fancy Presidium food at the moment.” Jane shot him a curious glance before shrugging with a half smile.
“How about sushi? I heard about this fantastic place down in the Wards, everyone says it’s absolutely the best.”
“Sure, I’m always up for an adventure.” Her smile widened and she took his hand as they made their way toward the nearby skycar.
Notes:
I just wanted to let you all know how much I appreciate hearing from you, in whatever capacity. Thank you to all my readers, double thank you to all who have shown their support with a Kudos, bookmark, or subscription, and triple thank you to those of you who have left comments. Whatever the length, be it a whole page of text or just a simple emoji, they always brighten my day and inspire me!
And, as always, thank you to my lovely beta reader thelordofdarkreunion, who helps keep this story moving with assistance, thoughts, and support!
Chapter 59: Part 3: Chapter 6
Summary:
In which Garrus is a little daft and a little snarky. So, business as usual.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 6
The Citadel
“Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Doctor.” Garrus said as he pushed his chair back and stood. “I know you don’t have much to spare these days, but these medical supplies will make a big difference in the refugee camps. I really appreciate it.”
“Of course, Garrus.” Dr. Michel replied warmly as she also stood, coming around her desk. “I’m glad that I’m able to do something to help you- and your people, of course.” She finished quickly as she glanced away, fiddling with her hands absently. Garrus nodded, unsure what else to say, fairly positive the meeting was essentially over.
“Well, I appreciate that you were able to make time to meet with me.” With that, he turned toward the door, but stopped as she reached a hand out to grab his arm.
“It’s the least I can do for you . Do you need to go already?” He looked back at Dr. Michel in confusion to see her face slightly pinkened.
“Yeah, the Normandy will only be docked for a little while longer, and I have a few more I need to finish up before we leave. Sorry I can’t stay longer to catch up.” Garrus murmured, and at his words, her face seemed to fall.
“Oh, I thought- I didn’t realize-” She cut herself off, then suddenly pulled back as she realized her hand was still resting on his arm. “I’m sorry to hear you’re leaving so soon. I was under the impression that you were taking over the coordination of the refugee camps.” Her tone was slightly more distant, but the disappointment was clear in her voice. He blinked in bewilderment.
“When we’re docked on the Citadel, I’ll probably continue to do what I can. But I’ve left you the primary contact who will be taking over when I leave, and he’s the one you should contact regarding the medical supplies going forward.”
“I see.” Dr. Michel’ eyes fell as she replied quietly, causing Garrus to sigh. He was fairly positive he’d been clear about it during their meeting, but he was starting to suspect he didn’t always understand humans as well as he thought he did. Clearly he’d said something wrong, but spirits help him, he had no idea what.
They stood there for a moment in stagnant silence, and Garrus shuffled his feet awkwardly as he wondered if it was polite to just leave. Their meeting was over, and he was utterly confused as to what sort of human ritual he was messing up this time, but clearly he’d missed some sort of social que. There was something he was supposed to be doing right now, but he had no idea what it could be. Suddenly, Dr. Michele’s eyes popped in realization and she smiled widely.
“I almost forgot! I got you something.” In a rush, she hurried back around the desk and reached into a drawer. Garrus waited, becoming more perplexed by the minute as she lifted up a small box tied with a blue ribbon.
Did professional meetings typically include an act of gift giving amongst humans? Why hadn’t Jane warned him of that when he’d told her about this meeting the night before? She’d stared at him with the strangest look before bursting into laughter, then waved him off when he’d asked what was so funny. She’d then wished him well and told him to watch himself, all the while grinning like an idiot. He was going to have to have a word with her about this when he got back to the ship.
“I got these for you as a little ‘thank you’.” Dr. Michel murmured quietly as she came back around the desk, holding the box out to him. Garrus hesitated, unsure of himself as the meeting continued taking unexpected turns. “They’re dextro chocolates, I hope you like them.”
“Er, I think I’m the one who should be saying thank you, what with the medical supplies for the refugees and what not…” He trailed off, his mandibles flicking as he looked down at the box being extended toward him. Dr. Michel looked up at him with wide, hopeful eyes.
“No, I meant to thank you for coming to save me back during everything with Saren and the Shadow Broker. Back when you were with C-Sec.” Garrus blinked, his mouth falling open.
“Oh. Uh, that’s not-” He cut off, unsure how to reply. He hadn’t really done much, Jane had been the one to take the shot that had actually freed the woman. And it had been years ago, for that matter. “Um, you’re welcome?” He finally stated haltingly, deciding not to question the situation. It had to be a cross species misunderstanding of some sort, it probably wasn’t worth thinking too hard about. He extended a hand, and she handed over the box with a pleased smile.
“I owe you my life.” Dr. Michel stated as her cheeks flushed and she looked away, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. He almost pointed out that it had, in fact, been Jane who had saved her life, but his desire to leave and get on with his day took precedence over his desire to be right.
“It was my pleasure.” Garrus stated as he forced a quick smile. They stood there for another minute before he took a small step toward the door. “Well, it was nice to see you again. But I really need to-” He trailed off as he pointed toward the office door, “-get going.”
“Oh! Yes, of course.” She jumped as though suddenly realizing where she was, quickly checking the time. He hesitantly made his way toward the door, but paused as she spoke up again. “I hope you’ll let me know the next time you’re on the Citadel again. Maybe we can get a drink or something and catch up? I know this really great sushi restaurant.”
“Sure, sounds good.” He replied absently as he reached for the door, his mind already turning toward his next meeting, “I’ll see you around, Dr. Michel.”
Their short few days on the Citadel felt shorter still by the illusion of peace that it afforded. While strolling the shopping districts hand in hand with Jane, all the people bustling around them, the lights flashing, the smells of delicious food sizzling in nearby restaurants… Everything felt so normal, it was nearly impossible to think about the war.
Nearly.
When he managed to drag his mind away from the packed and stinking refugee camps, it was still difficult to miss the other signs that not all was right. Closed up shops, fearful whispering, grim news reports, and skyrocketing prices, just to name a few.
So, Garrus did what he could during the day, and in the evening, he found distraction in reacquainting himself with the love of his life. He and Jane spent every spare moment they could together, whether out and about or tucked away in the privacy of the nicest room they could afford. He was determined to submerged himself in the sound of her voice, remap every freckle on her body, and drink in the sound of her laughter.
But it was over before he could blink. Despite dragging his feet, Garrus managed to make it back to the Normandy on time, the final preparations for departure nearly underway. As he walked through the CIC, it seemed as though Shepard had picked up one or two new faces to flush out their patchwork crew. But it was hard to say as he hadn’t had much time to get to know the new crew, and he still wasn’t perfect at differentiating human faces.
The first surprise was running into Jane ushering a very bemused Gabriella Daniels, Ken Donnelly, and Richard Jenkins aboard after springing them from Alliance custody. Apparently, they’d been transferred off Earth at some point before the invasion, and were awaiting trial for their time with Cerberus on the Citadel. Jane had decided that was rubbish and used her Spectre authorization to clear and reinstate them aboard the Normandy. Garrus wasn’t entirely sure how any of that worked, legally speaking, but there was a goddamn war on and it seemed like everyone probably had bigger things to worry about. He certainly did.
The second surprise came when he got down to the barracks and saw Kaidan Alenko unpacking his bag. He was no longer dressed in the red uniform of the Grissom Academy instructors, but was now wearing the blue of the Alliance again.
“Coming with us, Kaidan?” Garrus asked as he put his bag down on his own bunk and began putting things away. Kaidan looked up and nodded with a half smile.
“Yeah. Shepard offered both me and Jack a position on his ground team, and after discussing it, we agreed that she should stay with the students, and I should do what I can to assist Shepard.” He chuckled softly as he looked back down at his half unpacked bag. “I think she was really torn though, I can tell she really enjoyed her time serving on the Normandy.”
“I think that Jack… hmmm.” Garrus paused to consider, his head tilting to the side slightly as he failed to stop a smile from crossing his face, “I think that she enjoyed her time on the Normandy, for lack of a better word. As much as she enjoys anything that doesn’t include mass destruction. Though, I suppose she did get to do some of that with us.” They shared a laugh, but as Garrus turned toward the door, Kaidan called out.
“Garrus, wait.” Turning, he saw Kaidan looking up at him, his face suddenly serious. “I… wanted to make sure we’re good. You know, after everything on Horizon.” The word hung heavy between them, but after a pause, Garrus shrugged.
“Yeah, we’re good, Kaidan. I spoke with Ashley about it not long ago, and honestly, it’s fine. We made different choices, and as long as you and Shepard are good, then we’re good.” Kaidan seemed relieved as he nodded his head slowly, a weight seeming to drop off his shoulders.
“Great. Thanks, I’m happy to hear you say that.” Kaidan sighed before looking back down at his half unpacked bag. “I know you guys were only working with Cerberus to take down the Collectors. I’m sorry I suspected you were still with them when you helped us at the Academy, even after everythin. I shouldn’t have-”
Garrus cut in, “Kaidan, it’s fine. You were under attack and trying to protect your students. I don’t blame you for not taking any chances with their lives. Seriously, I understand.”
He took his leave after a few more moments of discussion. It wasn’t that he felt uncomfortable around Kaidan, but it would take some time before he truly felt like a friend and teammate again. It was one thing to not be at odds anymore, but it was something else altogether to truly trust him again.
But fighting alongside Ashley for a few missions had done wonders so far, so he was sure it would just take a matter of time. With her, Kaidan, Liara, Jane, and Shepard, they were just a few people away from having the old squad back together. And one of them, Garrus mused with a chuckle, would be joining them very soon.
The Normandy began its journey to the Pranas System, home system of the salarians and the location chosen for the war summit. They were due to arrive a day or so before the summit was to begin, leaving everyone with plenty of time to prepare. As much as you could prepare for something like that, Garrus supposed.
It was late, and though he should probably head to bed, lately sleep hadn’t been coming as easily as it once had. So, instead he made his way toward the main battery. There was always more work to be done, and there was no rest for the wicked.
The elevator pinged, the door opened, and Garrus strode out and around the corner. He drew up, his feet slowing to a stop as he heard the voices emanating from the mess hall just ahead.
“-trying not to worry, but it’s hard.” Shepard sighed wearily, pain evident in his voice.
“I’m sorry, that can’t be easy.” Jane replied softly, and Garrus took another step closer, noticing the two sitting alone, side by side at the mess table, their backs to him as they both nursed cups of coffee.
“I’m trying to stay positive, but we haven’t heard anything about the Migrant Fleet one way or the other. I want to believe we’d hear something, anything if they were attacked by the Reapers.” Shepard continued, his voice full of forced confidence.
“Yeah, maybe.” Jane sounded less convinced. “Why hasn’t she responded, though?”
“I don’t know.” He sighed again, leaning further forward to stare down into the cup clutched in his hands. Garrus knew he was eavesdropping, but he couldn’t bring himself to interrupt the two of them. Shepard hadn’t been able to make much time for casual conversation lately, and seeing the two of them with their heads together sent both stabs of relief and longing through him. Spirits, he hoped Sol was okay.
“Maybe they’re struggling with communications as much as the rest of us are. Getting communication from Earth any way other than through the quantum communicators is virtually impossible these days. Maybe she either isn’t getting our messages, or we aren’t getting hers.” Jane’s voice seemed hopeful, but there was a hesitancy that suggested she, herself, felt unsure. Garrus felt bad, he hadn’t had much time lately to spare more than a passing concern for Tali and her people. But it seemed like he had plenty of his own fish to fry these days.
“Yeah, maybe.” Shepard murmured. They lapsed into silence, and Garrus was about to continue into the room when Jane spoke up again.
“So, let’s say we beat the Reapers by some miracle… Then what? Gonna grab your girl and ride off into the sunset?” They shared a laugh before Shepard replied.
“Yeah, I guess. I dunno, I suppose it depends. There will be plenty to do to rebuild the galaxy after everything is said and done.”
“Yeah,” Jane scoffed, “But you’re going to be a fucking hero . You could fuck off to a beach somewhere and no one would balk. You’ll deserve a little peace.” There was a moment of silence, before she continued softly, “I’m not asking about what The Commander is going to do. I’m asking about you . What does John Shepard want in a perfect future?”
Shepard was quiet, taking a sip of his coffee as he considered the question. “You know, it sounds funny, but I really wish I could just… settle down, you know? Be normal for once, lead a normal life. Build a house somewhere quiet, have a couple of kids, maybe a dog or something. Maybe start a garden, make something grow for once instead of just killing. We never got any of that as children, but I think it would be nice. A little peace.” Jane turned to look at her brother, a soft smile on her face.
“You deserve it. I bet Tali would like that, too.”
“I hope so.”
“So long as you have plenty of tinkering for her to do. I don’t think she’d know what to do with herself if she didn’t have something broken to fix.” Jane paused before grinning. “She’ll have to handle taking care of the dog, though. I’ve seen how you treat your fish, and you’re fucking hopeless. Without me, you’d have nothing but a tank full of skeletons.” They both laughed and Shepard shoved her lightly. It seemed like a good point to interrupt, but Garrus froze as he heard his own name.
“Okay, so what about you? What are you and Garrus going to do after the war, assuming we win?” Shepard asked, and Jane leaned back in her chair as she tucked her hands behind her head. Garrus leaned in, instantly curious as to what she would answer. He’d tried getting her to talk about her hopes for the future before, and it was generally difficult to get her to be serious about the topic. Perhaps she would open up more with her brother?
“Oh, I dunno. Guess we’ll retire somewhere warm and sunny, spend our days lounging on the beach or something.” She replied flippantly with a vague wave of her hand, and Shepard raised an eyebrow at her.
“Seriously? Something tells me you’d get a little bored living the retired lifestyle. I really can’t imagine you not getting into trouble somehow or other.”
“Ha. Yeah, you’re probably right. But if we make it through all this, I think I’ll have had my fill with this ‘saving the world’ thing. Maybe I’ll pick up a dangerous new hobby to get my thrill seeking kicks instead. Cliff diving, perhaps? Oh! Maybe a professional sport!” Garrus couldn’t help but smile and roll his eyes. She’d shine in the spotlight as a professional athlete, that would be just like her.
“I could see that!” Shepard agreed with a chuckle, but Jane seemed to sober as she sat forward to take a sip of her drink, continuing.
“Honestly, I haven’t let myself think about the future too much lately. I find it easier to focus on the here and now, one day at a time. I get a little depressed if I let myself dwell on what I would like to someday have. Castles in the sky, and all that…”
Shepard didn’t seem to have a reply to that, perhaps the words struck a little too close to home. Instead, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and leaned into her.
“So what, are you guys going to adopt some war orphans or something?” Jane asked, changing the topic abruptly.
“I guess so? I think it would depend on what Tali wants. I’m not picky. If she’s happy, then I’m happy. I guess a lot depends on what the quarians decide to do about Rannoch.”
“Good point. I have so many questions about how quarians handle births and babies.” Jane mused, and Shepard chuckled.
“Tali explained some of it to me, but I’m not sure I really understood it all. Like I said, if she’s happy, then I’m happy. What about you? You going to make me an uncle someday?” Jane snorted in reply and shrugged.
“John, I’m trying to figure out how we’re going to survive another week. I don’t have time to daydream about dirty diapers.”
“Fine, fine. Point taken.” Shepard seemed to leave it, but Jane spoke up again a moment later.
“I dunno. Maybe someday. Guess it depends on Garrus. Hard to think about it with a war going on, though.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.” Shepard murmured, and they fell into a comfortable silence as Garrus felt his heart clench. He gave them a moment before stepping forward into the room.
“Hey guys, burning the midnight oil?” He approached as they both turned to greet him, then leaned down to give Jane a quick nuzzle as she smiled at him.
“Speak of the devil. What are you doing up at this hour, Garrus?” Shepard asked with a smile as he raised his cup in greeting. Garrus looked up and shrugged, giving Jane’s hand a quick squeeze before letting go.
“The same as you, I’d venture to guess. Room for one more?” Time spent with Shepard while not being shot at was rare enough these days, he wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity. Work could wait, but who knew how much time they’d all have left together?
“Of course, please!” Shepard gestured to the rest of the open seats, and Garrus quickly made himself up a cup of something warm before sitting across the table from them both.
The conversation remained light and positive as they joked and teased each other, for which Garrus was somewhat thankful. In that moment, all he truly wanted was to spend time basking in the presence and comradery of two of his most important people.
They arrived a day ahead of the beginning of the war summit, just as planned, and immediately began preparations. From the looks of it, the other ships that had arrived before them had kept a healthy distance from one another, and according to Shepard, they’d requested that the Normandy be the neutral ground to meet upon. Apparently, they’d done nothing but argue as they’d attempted to negotiate a suitable ship for the purpose, and to Garrus that didn’t bode well for the talks.
As he stepped into the cockpit, he could hear the tail end of a conversation with one of the krogan ships.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just tell Shepard I’m coming aboard, and tell his pyjack of a sister to get a few bottles ready. We’ve got a slog of political bullshit ahead of us, so we’ll need to fortify ourselves beforehand! Hah!” The voice of Urdnot Wrex boomed through the comm as Joker rolled his eyes and leveled a half amused glance in Garrus’ direction.
“Sure thing, Clan Chief . Any other demands while I’m at it?” Joker relied dryly as he leaned his weight onto one elbow, inspecting his nails with affected boredom.
“ Yeah, why don’t you tell those uptight turians I’m generous and more than willing to share my booze. It’ll be hilarious to watch those stuck up dextro bastards throw up everything they’ve ever eaten.” With that, he burst into rumbles of laughter, and Joker cut the connection with a snort.
“Well, good to see Wrex hasn’t changed…” He muttered as he input a few commands into the control display.
It wasn’t long until they found Wrex stepping out of a shuttle, eager and interested in a tour of the new Normandy. He offered Shepard and Garrus bone crushing hand shakes, as well as a one armed hug for Jane that seemed to squeeze the air out of her.
“Boy is it good to see you. Feared the worst when I heard about Earth, but I shoulda known those Reapers couldn’t keep up with you, Shepard.” Wrex stated gruffly as he looked around the cargo bay. “Looks like you got yourself a fancy new ship to boot.”
“It’s good to see you, too, Wrex. Not that I’m complaining, but you’re a bit early for the war summit.” Shepard pointed out, and Wrex chuckled as he ducked back into the shuttle and pulled out two bottles of bright green liquid. He gave them a little shake.
“Figured I’d make myself comfy.” He said with a toothy grin. But as Shepard chuckled and directed him toward the elevator, Garrus could have sworn he saw the old krogan shoot Jane a serious look loaded with meaning. It was gone in a flash, to the point that Garrus almost believed he’d imagined it. But Jane nodded at Wrex almost imperceptibly as he passed, her smile gone, and he couldn’t help but wonder what that could have meant.
“-and then he ripped the damn thing’s leg off and ate damn near the entire thing!” Wrex guffawed as he slapped his knee, his drink slothing over the rim of his cup. Others in the room burst into laughter, though some seemed more confused than anything. Krogan humor didn’t always translate.
Wrex had gotten his quick tour of the Normandy, which had ended in the port observation deck’s bar, as expected. Most of the original squad, including Kaidan, Ashley, Liara, Jane, and himself, had joined him in order to catch up, and even Shepard had poked his head in for a moment. James had immediately hit it off with the krogan, and many of the other crew members had popped in for a little while to meet the clan chief.
If only Tali were there, too, then he supposed it would have felt a bit more like old times. She'd grown up quite a bit since their days on the SR1, and though he supposed that could be said about each of them, it seemed most pronounced in her. And perhaps Liara, which was interesting given her actual age in relation to most of them.
Besides just having his old friend and fellow dextro amino based squad member around, having Tali back would probably go a long way toward helping Shepard. The man was running himself ragged, and the wear and tear was beginning to show. Besides the rare occasion, he almost never saw him in the mess these days, and Jane reported his sleep issues were only getting worse. But Tali was good at forcing Shepard to take a little time for himself every now and then. It was a pity they hadn't heard from her yet. Concerning, too.
The door to the observation deck flew open, and Garrus' musings stopped as he and others turned in their seats to greet the newcomer. The welcome died in their throats as they recognized the person standing stiffly in the doorway. The chatter around the room died, and the silence stretched on.
"Javik." Jane stated in greeting, lifting her glass in a salute from behind the bar. "Come to join the party?"
"You could say that." The Prothean replied dryly as his many eyes swept the room, taking in the array of intoxicated faces. Like usual, Garrus got the distinct impression that he was less than impressed by what he saw.
"Well, come on in! Grab a drink and take a seat!" She gestured to a nearby couch. There was a little space on the couch, Garrus supposed, but you’d have to be pretty friendly with the other occupants, and he doubted Javik was feeling very friendly toward anyone at the moment.
“I’ll stand.” was Javik’s curt reply, and Jane shrugged. She ducked around the bar and approached to offer him a glass of ryncol.
“Well, then have a drink.” The glass remained in her hand as he stared down at it, his lip curling in a sneer. He took a single sniff before appearing to wince ever so slightly.
“I’ll be fine. In my cycle, we did not ingest degreasing agents for sport.” Jane grinned before shrugging again.
“Suit yourself. Ryncol’s never been my particular favorite either.” She passed the glass off to Wrex, who happily tossed it back, before returning to her glass of whisky sitting on the bar top. The room was quiet after that, everyone either nervously looking at anything other than Javik or staring at him unabashedly.
Wrex broke the silence. “Who’s that?” He gestured to Javik as he looked to where Garrus sat nearby.
“He’s… a Prothean.”
“I invited him,” Liara explains quickly from where she stood, “I thought he should get to know the crew.”
Wrex’s face remained impassive, staring at Garrus as if to see if he was pulling his leg. He then turned to raise a brow at Javik, who returned his stare with added indifference. Wrex let go of a single huffed laugh.
“Sometimes I’m not sure if the Normandy is a warship or a traveling freak show.”
Garrus heard a sharp intake of breath from one of the human crew, and the room’s remaining eyes fell on the krogan and the Prothean.
“In my cycle, krogan were considered animals at best. Sometimes we hunted you for sport, and collected the plates off your foreheads like trophies.”
The anxiety in the room made Garrus’ plates itch as people shuffled and inched away from the two aliens staring each other down. After another moment, Wrex barked a laugh and grinned at Javik with a toothy smile as he eased back into the couch.
“Maybe when this war is over, you can come live on Tuchanka. You’d fit right in.” The tension in the room began to unwind, and slowly conversation began to pick back up again. Liara hurried over to Javik in an attempt to help him find a comfortable place as she did her best not to pepper him with questions.
Wrex downed his own glass of ryncol and Garrus winced. “I don’t know how you can drink that shit. It smells awful and I’ve seen what it can do to someone.”
“I’ve seen what you turians consider quality cocktails, and I’ll pass.” Wrex grunted as he rolled his eyes, and Garrus grinned back at him.
“Well, and you know, the whole dextro amino thing. Do krogan have issues with allergies, or are you all too ‘rough and tough’ for bodily functions?”
“I just had to make friends with the one turian in the galaxy who thinks he’s funny, didn’t I.” Wrex stated dryly despite his smile, and Garrus chuckled.
“Imagine how I feel. I’m supposed to hate krogan, but you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality.” He retorted with playful sarcasm, and they shared a laugh.
“Now, don’t get all soppy and sentimental on me now, Garrus. Going to need you in tip top fighting shape tomorrow. Got a feeling the salarians aren’t going to play nice.” Garrus felt himself perk up at that.
“What’s that supposed to mean? Isn’t this just a diplomatic meeting regarding the war with the Reapers?”
“Don’t mean anything by it.” Wrex shifted, stretching slightly as he repositioned. “But salarians are salarians, and they don’t like to play fair with the krogan. We learned that long ago.” He stated grimly, his smile disappearing.
“If they will not cooperate against the Reapers, then we shall slaughter them all.” Javik stated nonchalantly as though he was stating that outer space was big.
“I wouldn’t argue. Salarians are really only good for their livers, anyway. They’re not bad served raw.” If Wrex was expecting his statement to be received with disgust from his new Prothean friend, he was sadly mistaken. While he got crinkled noses from some of the nearby humans, Javik simply blinked at him before nodding.
“You are correct. It was a… delicacy in my cycle.” More disgusted faces turned toward the pair, disbelief warring with revulsion. Liara deadpanned as she gave up trying to get Javik’s attention back. Her unamused sigh only served to spur Garrus on.
“I hear Vorcha prefer it grilled.” He added casually, and Wrex roared with laughter as one of the privates gagged nearby. Once everything settled a bit, Garrus raised his nearly empty glass to the krogan in a salute. “Figured you’d gone soft sitting on your throne. Good to see I was wrong. Though I’m interested to see if you still remember how to hold a gun.”
Wrex’s answering chuckle was low and almost ominous. “Maybe you’ll have a chance to find out.”
“Wrex…” Garrus stated in a warning tone. “You do realize that diplomatic war summits don’t typically include any actual warring, right? The word is just in the title.”
“Don’t worry,” Wrex waved a huge hand as if to dismiss Garrus’ concern, “We’ve got it all planned out.” After a moment, he shrugged. “For the most part.” With that, he put his glass on the small side table nearby along with all the others, placed his hands on his knees, and began to stand up. “Don’t mind me, carry on.” He grunted as he made his way toward where Jane stood mixing someone’s drink behind the bar.
Garrus watched, his eyes narrowing as Wrex came to stand beside her, his back against the bar as he leaned into in, crossing his arms. He ducked down to mutter something to her quietly, her face impassive as she appeared to concentrate on the bottles in her hand. The only sign that she was listening was a single flick of her eyes toward the clan chief before returning to her work, betraying her true focus.
What were those two up to? Garrus would have to pull her aside later and ask. Or he supposed he could just wait till the meeting and find out for himself. He trusted her, after all, and she would tell him when she was ready.
Instead, Garrus shifted his attention. He wasn’t sure why it popped into his head – perhaps it was the alcohol – but he thought back to a video clip and a conversation he’d had quite a long time ago with a different krogan.
“So, Liara,” Garrus turned to the nearby asari, “Ever dug up… what do humans call it? A dinosaur?” He fought to keep his face straight as he looked up at where she stood.
“No.” She replied curtly, her voice shifting to that of Doctor T’Soni, “Dinosaurs and other fossils would be paleontology. I am an archeologist. I study artifacts left by sapient species.” She began to look disgruntled as she continued, as though this was the sort of question she received more often than she’d like, “The two fields are completely different, and…” He could no longer hide his grin, and realization started to dawn on her face as she trailed off. “Ah. You were joking.”
“A bit.” Garrus conceded, “But at least you’re catching on these days.” He teased and she rolled her eyes at him.
“By the time I was born, the Reapers had destroyed the need for studying anything but war. We did not have time for such extravagances.” Javik stated as he stood before the large observation window nearby.
“Wait, so you guys didn’t have like… universities or anything?” One of the nearby crew asked in surprise. Javik shook his head. “No museums, no shops?” Javik shook his head again, and more than one person stared in shock. “No restaurants?”
“Not during my lifetime, no.” Javik glared through the window at the passing stars.
“Your cycle sounds like crap .” Wrex grunted as he returned to his seat, falling onto the couch and sloshing some of his new drink over the rim of his glass. Garrus snorted, and Liara sighed as she brought her hand up to rub her brow in frustration.
“I’m not sure what I expected.” She whispered tiredly.
Notes:
🥰Thank you so much for all your love and support, my wonderful readers!
Chapter 60: Part 3: Chapter 7
Summary:
In which Garrus gets a taste of politics.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 7
The Normandy SR2
“Garrus! You clean up pretty well! You know, for a turian .” Wrex grinned as Liara escorted him into the Normandy’s conference room the next day. Garrus stood beside Victus, both of them dressed to their best. Apparently the original plan had been only for Victus, Wrex, Shepard, and the Dalatrass to attend the war summit, but when Shepard made it clear that he intended to bring Jane with him, everyone but Wrex decided to bring an advisor as well. Wrex, it seemed, figured he was more than enough krogan for one meeting.
Garrus had felt panicked at first when Victus had asked him to accompany him, but he’d picked up a formal enough outfit just in case while on the Citadel to make at least a show of professionalism. It seemed somewhat pointless now, watching Wrex stride into the room in a scuffed, dirty hardsuit, but perhaps that was part of his… charm.
“Wrex, glad you didn’t oversleep. I see that you don’t clean up, period.” Garrus cocked a half smile as he stepped forward and offered his hand, which the clan chief took in a firm shake.
“Haaa, the dirt is just part of the uniform.” Wrex grinned at him as he stepped back, but then eyed Victus warily for a moment before nodding his head.
“Primarch.”
“Clan Chief.” Victus nodded back stiffly, the coolness between them expected, but still enough to make Garrus hold his breath. Wrex might be friendly enough with him , but he knew the older man’s thoughts on turians in general. The more he thought about it, the more harebrained this whole war summit seemed. Shepard was going to need some sort of miracle to make this work. Then again, miracles were Shepard’s business.
Nearby, the door opened again, this time revealing Liara leading the salarian Dalatrass Linron and her advisor. The Dalatrass was draped in a prettily patterned garment that left her face visible but little else. The darkness of the fabric coupled with her stony expression left Garrus with the desire to shiver. As Liara gestured her into the conference room, the Dalatrass led her advisor around the table to the far side, directly across from where Wrex stood by the door. Her eyes narrowed as her gaze met Wrex’s, and Garrus could see both of them stand a bit taller, their backs stiff. Shepard really would need a miracle indeed.
The room remained silent for a short, highly uncomfortable moment, during which Garrus tried not to cough anxiously and shift his feet. He could tell Victus was coiled like a spring, ready to jump right into negotiations. Palaven didn’t stand a chance without some sort of reinforcements, and that was his entire purpose for being here, at this table. Shepard had yet to join them, however, which made it difficult to officially get started. Where were they anyway?
Carefully, like a man testing the temperature of a bathtub with a single toe, Victus began somewhat unnecessary introductions between the salarians and the krogan. The conversation was stiff, halting, and occasionally only vaguely bordering on polite. Victus attempted to keep the peace, guiding the topic of conversation to small talk, but after a minute or two, Wrex seemed to tire of it, his responses becoming clipped.
“Truly a pity we opted to bring the krogan to the table instead of the asari.” The Dalatrass sniffed with a pointed look at Wrex and his armor. “I’m surprised you decided to drag yourself off that pile of rubble to even show up for this meeting.” Her words, so clearly designed to provoke, appeared to finally cross the line.
“Enough of this crap.” Wrex growled as his open palms slapped down upon the table between them, causing everyone’s eyes to widen in surprise. “I’m not here to sit around twiddling my thumbs while you talk shit. Where are our females that you abducted ?” Wrex glared at the Dalatrass, but she barely flinched at the sudden accusation.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She sneered in disgust, glancing at Wrex as though looking down at a particularly disgusting insect.
“You salarians -” Wrex hissed the word like a curse, “need to return them immediately.”
“The krogan is in no position to be making demands!” The Dalatrass replied cooly as she shot Victus a haughtily raised brow. Garrus sighed, and besides him, he heard Victus sigh as well.
“ The krogan has a name: Urdnot Wrex. And I’m not just some junkyard varren you unleash whenever you’re in trouble.” Wrex spat angrily with the swipe of a hand as he pushed back off the table. But everyone paused and looked up as the door opened once again.
They all turned to see Shepard stride into the room. He was dressed in his dress blues, professional and sharp, his back straight and shoulders squared as though prepared for battle.
Just behind him came Jane. She didn’t have a uniform to wear, instead opting for her hardsuit, much like Wrex. Her’s, however, had been cleaned and polished till it shone, the Spectre insignia on the shoulder standing out against the dark colored armor.
Shepard came to a stop at the far end of the conference table across from Garrus and Victus, his hands resting lightly before him on the table. Jane took up position just behind him at his shoulder, her arms held at her back, her feet spread, and her expression utterly impassive. She seemed relaxed in the same way a tiger might – confident in her abilities, unafraid of those around her, yet still prepared to strike at a moment’s notice.
Wrex nodded to Shepard, who nodded back before turning to greet the Dalatrass. Garrus’ eyes remained on Jane a moment longer before shifting his attention to Wrex as he continued.
“I’ve got my own problems. Reaper scouts have arrived on Tuchanka.” Turning to Victus and Garrus, Wrex’s eyes narrowed. “So why should I care if a few turians go extinct?” Garrus could sense Victus nearly bristle with frustration beside him, his subvocals nearly a growl. Despite that, his voice remained low as he responded.
“Wrex, I have no time for your dramatics. Now that we’re all here, just get to the point. What is it that you want?” The Primarch snapped, and Wrex leaned forward expectantly.
“I’ll tell you what I need .” His eyes narrowed as his gaze swept the room, “A cure for the genophage.”
“Absolutely not!” The Dalatrass exclaimed, turning away from the table as she flicked a dismissive hand in Wrex’s direction. Garrus noticed the slight twitch of Jane’s lips as she eyed Wrex quickly, but her expression stilled as she focused on the yelling Dalatrass. The room quickly dissolved into a discussion about the necessity of the genophage, with Shepard angrily challenging the Dalatrass’ assertions. All the while, Wrex watched the back and forth as though waiting for something… but for what?
Finally, Victus’ voice cut through the debate, his desperation clear in his voice as he leaned into the table with a slow shake of his head.
“Enough! This is all theoretical. It would take years to formulate a cure. There’s no time.”
Wrex smiled, a grim curve of his lips. “There already is one.”
The room went completely silent, the only sound being the soft sound of the Normandy’s air system. Garrus realized his mouth was open, and clicked it shut. His eyes once again drifted toward the other end of the table. Shepard’s eyes were wide, shock and surprise plastered across his features, but Jane seemed completely unperturbed.
“It’s nearly ready for distribution, only a little more is required before it can finally be fully synthesized, according to my sources.” Wrex moved toward the head of the table where Garrus and Victus stood, and both of them moved aside as he pulled up the display controls.
He began outlining the barbaric experiments back on Tuchanka, the ones that Shepard’s team had halted. With a few quick keystrokes, one glass wall darkened and upon it began playing a shaky video recording.
“...but what you didn’t know is that other females survived his experiments.” The video seemed to be some sort of body cam, the recording skittering quickly through what appeared to be a medical facility, or possibly a lab. As the person with the camera turned, it was possible to see holding cells with large figures, undeniably krogan in shape and figure.
“You’ve got to be kidding me…” Garrus breathed quietly as Wrex explained the salarian’s covert operation to track down and abduct the females.
“Where did you get this?” The Dalatrass demanded, her voice higher than it had been. “It could be a fabrication!” She stuttered, clearly unprepared for the accusation and evidence thrown before her. Wrex’s face darkened and he opened his mouth to reply.
“Don’t insult-!”
“I can confirm his assertions.” All eyes fell on Jane as she stepped forward to stand beside her brother. “I’ve been to the facility and witnessed the females myself. I’m also aware of the development of the genophage cure, and can confirm its existence. From what I understand, the cure is nearly complete, but the researchers and females require extraction before this can be accomplished.”
The Dalatass’ eyes were murderous as she opened her mouth to reply, but paused as her advisor began whispering furiously to her.
“Those are my people!” Wrex yelled with righteous fury as he jabbed a finger at the Dalatrass, “They’re the last hope for the krogan, and you’re going to give them back!”
“Dalatrass,” Victus stepped between the two, his eyes narrowed as he looked to the salarians, “Is this true?”
“There is absolutely no way a cure has been developed, the thought is ridiculous.” She hissed, “Besides, even if it was, how would allowing a cure for the genophage to be released benefit my people?”
“How long do you think you’ll last alone against the Reapers? Because if you don’t help, that’s how it’ll end up.” Shepard stated firmly, his shock at the revelations of moments before quickly squashed as he took himself in hand.
“And I’ll be the last friendly turian you ever see.” Victus added, his voice echoing only a fraction of the menace reverberating through is sub vocals. Garrus was suddenly very grateful that Victus was their Primarch, fate could not have chosen a better man for the job.
“I don’t-!” The Dalatrass began, but stopped as Jane’s hand came down hard upon the table.
“Look, us asking permission is really just a formality.” Jane said casually, as though she was pointing out the weather. She paused, and when she continued her voice became colder and sharper with each word. “I know which base they’re being held at, I’ve been there myself. We can either do this the easy way, or the hard way. There’s a lot less salarian blood split if you choose the easy way.”
The Dalatrass glared at her, her lips drawn and thin before bowing her head as she brought a hand up to rub her eyes in frustration.
“Fine. Do what you will, take the krogan.” She grunted, and as soon as the words left her mouth, Shepard was moving toward the door. “But I warn you, Commander!” He paused and looked back as she added, “The consequences of this will be felt for centuries to come!”
Anger flashed in Shepard's eyes as he turned back fully to face the salarains. “Which will be nothing compared to what happens if the Reapers win.”
“If you’re not willing to work together with us, you won’t have to worry about the consequences of any of this.” Jane pointed out as she brought her hands up in deceptively flippant shrug. “You’ll be dead long before that point when you’re forced to face the Reapers alone.”
Wrex sneered at the salarians before turning to Shepard, “Let’s get the females.” Shepard nodded, and turned to lead the way out of the conference room. The Dalatrass tried one last attempt to stop them, which Victus quickly shot down.
Garrus exchanged a nod with Victus before following after the others, and just as the group reached the door, he could hear the Dalatrass call out.
“I won’t forget this, Commander! And I don’t believe for a minute that any such cure has been developed. No salarian in their right mind would do such a thing.”
“Not in his right mind, no.” Jane grinned as she turned and strode through the door. “I’ve always thought he was at least a little bit crazy, personally.”
The doors to the shuttle closed, the ground team armed and ready. Shepard turned to where Jane and Wrex stood muttering together, his expression grim as he crossed his arms.
“Okay, spill it. What the hell is going on, and why didn’t you tell me about any of this?” He growled, his frustration radiating off him as he glowered at them. Jane and Wrex exchanged a look that Garrus couldn’t quite identify.
“I’m sorry about not telling you beforehand, John. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, necessarily, but the whole project hinged on secrecy. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that the less people who know, the safer the secret. Lives depended on keeping it quiet. Plus, I was only recently able to reestablish communication with our team, and I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up if it all went to hell in a handbag in the meanwhile.”
“Okay, okay, fine. But secrecy doesn’t matter anymore at this point in the game, so what the hell have you guys been up to?” Shepard gestured to the both of them, and all eyes fell on Jane as she nodded.
“Well, back when you were arrested, I needed to figure out how best to utilize the time before the Reapers arrived. Getting our defenses and alert system beefed up was important, but I figured there had to be more I could do.” Jane shifted, her eyes seeming to drift into memory as they unfocused. “I don’t have quite the same political sway that you do, but I figured there had to be something . I decided that the krogan would probably be invaluable allies, and so I approached Wrex here.” She turned back, gesturing to Wrex, who nodded. “But he made it clear that his focus was curing the genophage, and if I wanted his assistance in the war against the Reapers, I needed to help him with that first. So… I contacted Mordin.”
“ Mordin ?” Shepard asked in astonishment. “Mordin is involved in all of this? Even after everything he did to modify the genophage?” Jane nodded as she continued.
“Yeah, I was surprised he agreed, too. I think that everything that happened, his discussions with you, his time on Tuchanka, perhaps even meeting Wrex… Deep down, he had some regrets. Mordin told me about the krogan females that the STG had snatched, and told me that he had the beginnings of a plan, but that it would be risky. While he began getting himself positioned within the STG base, I tracked down Maelon.”
“His old colleague? The one who did those awful experiments?” Garrus asked for clarification, his surprise mirroring Shepard’s as the tale unfolded.
“Yeah. After he left Tuchanka, he followed Mordin’s advice and set up a clinic on Omega. Though, when I finally managed to catch up with him, he was getting ready to pack up shop because Clan Weyrloc was hot on his tail. I convinced him to join my efforts to develop the cure for the genophage, and when he agreed I took him to meet with Mordin.”
Jane put her hands on her hips as she sighed, seemingly unaware of everyone’s rapt attention on her, “ That was almost a bloody mistake, but I convinced Mordin not to pull the trigger. Once I made peace between them, we began working on a plan. Mordin was able to secure a position at the base for both of them working with the krogan females. They were there under the guise of studying the females and helping to stabilize them, but in reality they secretly began the progress of developing the cure. Right under the STG’s noses. Or whatever passes for a nose on a salarian.”
There was more than one amazed expression in the shuttle as they broke through Sur’kesh’s atmosphere. “You’ve gotta be shitting me.” Ashley breathed from somewhere to Garrus’ right.
“Dios mio.” Vega stared, and Ashley nodded in agreement.
“They’d been there a few weeks by the time the Reapers arrived, and the last message they sent back then was very positive. But my most recent message was somewhat less so. They’ve reached a standstill, there’s only so much they could do while working undercover without being discovered. Additionally, now that the Dalatrass knows there’s a cure in the works, it’s only a matter of time till they’re found out. We need to get them off world so that it can be finalized, tested, and dispersed amongst the krogan.”
“These females and this cure are the best and probably last hope for my people.” Wrex’s voice reverberated through the shuttle, and many nodded in understanding.
“We’ll bring them and the scientists back, Wrex. Don’t worry.” Liara smiled at him reassuringly, and Wrex returned the smile with affection.
“I appreciate that, Liara. I wouldn’t want anyone else along for the ride.”
Garrus coughed, clearing his voice at the same time Jane scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“What are we, chopped liver?” Jane muttered as she grinned and crossed her arms, and Garrus raised his brow plate at Wrex. Near by, Ashley spoke up where she stood next to Kaidan.
“Yeah, what about us?” Finally, Wrex who sighed in mock exasperation.
“I guess I can make space for all you loonies. I must be going soft in my old age. Ha!”
Their arrival on Sur’kesh was about as uncircumspect as it was possible to be with an anxious krogan onboard. Which was to say, everyone within a fifty mile radius probably heard his bellows. After being given a hard time as they’d tired to land, Wrex leapt down out of the shuttle and demanded the females be given back with a level of blunt bullheadedness that shocked the salarians. And just about everyone else, too.
With some diplomacy on the part of Shepard and the help of one Padok Wiks, they were finally able to begin the process of gaining clearance to visit the lower levels, where the krogan females were being held.
Which, of course, included waiting, followed by a little more waiting. As the salarians began the process of letting them into the base, Padok Wiks, the base commander, began leading Shepard and his team toward the elevator.
“With war on everyone’s minds,” He gestured to his agents hurrying about their various tasks, “our people are on edge.” Nearby, two soldiers escorted a tank containing, of all things, a yahg. The tank lowered, finally stopping as it hit the ground with a thud. The angry looking creature inside glared at them all through the glass as it regained its footing.
“Careful! Watch the containment field!” One salarian shouted in a panic.
Garrus felt a joke on the tip of his tongue as he glanced at Liara, but forced down his grin as he willed his mandibles to remain tight against his face. They were in the middle of a tense, high stakes mission, and it wasn’t the time for jokes. Oh, but it was so tempting. Jane, however, had no such compunctions.
“Careful,” She turned to shoot a quick look in Liara’s direction as the yahg’s tank jerked again and began its slow descent further into the base, “There goes the next Shadow Broker.” Her lips were pursed as she attempted not to smile, her voice barely disguising her laughter.
The yahg lurched forward as it lowered, banging its fists against the force field with a loud and sudden thud , and Liara jumped, wincing in surprise. Garrus’ mandibles flicked outwards and he struggled not to chuckle.
“Could’ve sworn he was muttering ‘T’Soni’...” He added as he looked away, and he noticed Jane bite her lip as she shook with silent laughter. Liara turned to him sharply with a glare, and he could have sworn she pouted.
“Not funny.” She snapped, and Garrus and Jane finally burst into matching grins.
“Come on, guys, don’t tease her.” Shepard chidded, but Garrus didn’t miss the smile on his face. “I’m sure yagh are scary enough to give anyone nightmares.” Surprisingly, Javik gave one tight nod.
“They were much smaller in my cycle.” A few eyes glanced at the slowly disappearing yahg before looking back at the Prothean.
They spent a few minutes chatting with Wrex, who was still under heavy guard following his behavior upon arrival, but all the while, it was impossible to ignore the salarian anxiety around them. At first he’d simply attributed it to their unexpected presence, but after a little while, Garrus decided it had to be something more. Padok Wiks had been nothing but polite and welcoming, and besides the silent, indignant guards glaring at Wrex and Javik as they continued to joke about raw salarian livers, none of them seemed to give them much notice.
They even had the pleasant surprise of running into the familiar face of Major Kirrahe, promoted at some point since their misadventures together on Virmire. But as Shepard spent some time chatting with him, Garrus couldn’t help but overhear a nearby hushed conversation.
“Another incursion?” Padok Wiks muttered as he looked over a holodisplay.
“Air defenses report unidentified crafts skirting our inbound approach vectors.” One of his guards reported anxiously.
“It’s like someone’s testing our defenses…” Padok Wiks muttered as he brought a hand up to stroke his chin in consideration.
“Appears that way, sir.”
“I don’t like it. Not with everything else going on. Ah! Commander.” Garrus turned to see Shepard approaching the two salarians. “You have clearance to see the krogan females now.” He shifted slightly, seeming slightly uncomfortable. “I hope we can resolve this matter without reenacting the Krogan Rebellions.” He glanced back at where Wrex stood under guard.
“Thanks for your time.” Shepard said with a small polite smile.
“Of course. Proceed into the elevator when you’re ready.” With a nod, Shepard gestured to the rest of the team, and they all made toward the lone elevator, the controls for which had turned green.
“Thanks for getting us the cleanance so quickly.” Jane added, and Padok Wiks smiled at her.
“It was my pleasure. It was good to see you again, Spectre Shepard.” He bobbed his head in respectful acknowledgement, which she returned.
“You, too.”
“Now take this elevator down,” He looked back at Shepard, “and someone will-”
His words were cut off as a reverberating siren began blaring, and around them, the salarians burst into activity.
“ Alert!” A VI voice echoed around the base. “ Threat condition two has been declared. Scramble readiness teams.”
“What’s happening?” Shepard turned to Padok Wiks, who looked down at his omni-tool, his face hard. Nearby, a gunship took to the air and sped off.
“Sensors have picked up activity on the perimeter.” He looked up and gestured to the elevator. “Hurry, Commander. Someone will meet you below.” Shepard looked out over the base, taking in the hurried footsteps and worried voices before nodding and turning toward the elevator again.
“Okay, everyone in.”
The ride down was tense, each member of the team carrying with them both Wrex’s desperation and their new anxiety regarding what was quickly heading their way. They were going to need to move fast, especially if it was the Reapers.
“Jane, do you think we’re going to have any trouble with the females?” Shepard murmured as the elevator shot downwards.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. I think they trust me, so hopefully that will help.”
The door opened onto a darkened lab, the lighting soft and dim as researchers hurried about collecting their data in preparation for possible evacuations, despite the announcement on the speakers telling them to remain on-site. All around them were a variety of large machines, the purposes of which couldn’t be guessed at by looking. Along the walls were a series of holding cells.
The alarm continued to blare as the team stepped out into the lab. Nearby, a few salarians were reporting to their superior, who turned and brightened as he laid eyes on Jane.
“Spectre Shepard! Excellent timing.” Mordin chirped with a smile. “Good to have you here.” His attention shifted to Shepard, who nodded in greeting. “Commander Shepard, good to see you again.” His expression became serious as he looked back to Jane. “Last minute notice of arrival, not ideal.”
“Wait, so are you back with the STG now, Mordin?” Shepard asked, glancing between him and Jane.
“Special consultant. Had to be me. Someone else might have gotten it wrong.” Mordin looked around and nodded his head in the direction of a vaguely familiar looking salarian working at a console nearby. He looked at Jane with a questioning expression, and when she nodded curtly, he leaned in to whisper, “Brought Maelon on. Been working with Jane and Clan Urdnot to synthesize cure for genophage.”
“Yes, Jane was just filling us in on the way here.” Shepard replied quietly, and Mordin nodded his head enthusiastically.
“Can explain more later. Work is at a standstill due to need for silence and final step of synthesis. Also, security warnings-” He gestured upwards as the alarm continued, “-not normal. Need to get females offworld as soon as possible.” Without further ado, Mordin turned and began marching further into the lab. Shepard turned to Jane with a questioning look, but she only shrugged before taking off after Mordin.
“Females had weakened immune systems. Side effects of Maelon’s cure. Jane brought Maelon on to assist…” He glanced back at them as the team followed, “Complicated. Many feelings. Processed, moved on. Good to have his assistance, may have made all the difference.”
They continued on until Mordin paused beside where Maelon worked and gestured toward the three holding tanks before them.
“All three currently stable. Immune to genophage.” He glanced around the room again, but clearly none of the other salarians were paying them a lick of attention. “Close to completing cure thanks to their tissue.” Mordin nodded toward the tanks, and the figures shrouded within. “Last hope for the krogan. Still needed for final steps in synthesis. If they die, genophage cure… Problematic.”
At that, Maelon turned from the console to inspect the group of newcomers. He and Jane exchanged nods of acknowledgement, and then he bowed his head to Shepard.
“Commander Shepard. It’s good to see you again.” Shepard nodded in agreement, extending his hand out.
“You as well.”
Maelon shook his hand before returning his focus to the krogan. “Thank you for saving my life back on Tuchanka. Thanks to Spectre Shepard, I have been able to do something toward making up for the pain I caused with my experiments.”
“Saving all females likely impossible without assistance.” Mordin interjected, and Maelon bowed his head again in acknowledgment of the statement. “Need to begin process of moving them off-world.”
“I’ll explain to them what’s going on.” Jane stepped forward. “Krogan can be slow to trust, and hopefully they remember me.” She stopped before one of the barriers. “This is Spectre Shepard. I’ve come to take you off-world in order to protect you and further the development of the cure.”
The female she spoke to was barely visible, shrouded in some sort of restraint. But her eyes were sharp as they examined Jane, calculating and observant. Garrus couldn’t even begin to imagine what those women had been through. Everyone kept referring to them as just “the females”, which made it hard to remember that these were sentient individuals. Not animals, but women who had endured excruciating experiments and had been left for dead. By some miracle, they’d clung to life long enough to be brought here for treatment.
“Spectre Shepard. I was beginning to believe you had forgotten us.” The krogan’s voice was deep, like the rest of her species. But there was also a melodic quality to it that set it apart from those he’d heard before. There was wisdom, a depth to it that surprised him.
“Of course not. It took some time and work, but Urdnot Wrex and I are here to take you home.” Jane explained softly in reassurance. The krogan’s eyes flicked from person to person, narrowing slightly.
“Who are the others you’ve brought with you?” At that, Shepard stepped forward to stand beside Jane.
“I’m Commander Shepard, Alliance Navy. This is my team.” He waved his hand in their direction, and Garrus felt himself stiffen as her eyes landed on him momentarily. They seemed to weigh him to the ounce before moving on to the next person. Finally, she replied.
“And why are you here, Commander? What are we to you?”
“You’re the future of the krogan race. I’m fighting for that.” Without warning, the lab shook as they heard a distant explosion. Dust trickled down from the ceiling, and a few researchers throughout the lab began panicking.
“Then I hope you brought an army.” The krogan replied dryly as they heard another explosion above them.
“ Alert! Unidentified vessels have breached the perimeter.” Salarians began running as they gathered up the last of their research and data, while guards readied weapons and pulled up displays.
“Give me an update!” One shouted, and Garrus froze as he attempted to overhear the response. Was it the Reapers at last? Was Sur’kesh on the verge of falling the same way as Earth? As Palaven?
“Outbound communications have been severed! We’re cut off!” Another replied hurriedly, “Secure all data to off-site locations!” Shepard hurried over to the console, leaning over to see the readouts.
“What’s happening?” He asked sharply, and the salarian there looked up at him quickly before refocusing on his display.
“We have multiple ships inbound!”
“Ships? That doesn’t sound like Reaper forces. Hard to mistake a Reaper for a ship at this point.” Jane muttered as her brows furrowed, and Garrus nodded in agreement. Shepard’s omni-tool flashed with an incoming call, and he pulled it up to see Wrex’s angry face.
“ Shepard, it’s Wrex. Cerberus troops are attacking the base! Get the females out of there now!”
“With Cerberus attacking, they might be safer down here, Wrex.” Shepard replied calmly, but Wrex’s eyes narrowed as he burned with fury.
“You’ll all be sitting ducks down there!” He shook his head angrily before continuing, “No deal! If you want this alliance, get them out of there!” Shepard nodded and closed his omni-tool before turning to the salarian at the console.
“Release the females. We’re leaving.”
“I can’t. Protocol states during lockdown no specimen-” He cut off suddenly as he jerked violently, his body vibrating with the force of an electric charge as Mordin’s omni-tool jabbed into his back.
“Objection noted.” Mordin stated simply. “Now, please release krogan.” The salarian shot Mordin a dirty look over his shoulder as he shuddered, then input the command to begin opening the tanks.
“We need to ride with them to monitor the pods as they move through quarantine procedures.” Maelon stated as he pulled up his omni-tool. “It would be safest to have them in separate transports in case something happens, but we just don’t have the time.” The doors flung open, and Mordin and Maelon began moving the restrained krogan into a single tank. Once they were situated, the two salarians stepped into the other compartment of the tank before the door began closing.
“Meet us at next checkpoint, Shepards.” Mordin directed just as the door latched shut. “Possible Cerberus opposes genophage cure.” Shepard nodded and began giving out orders to the team. But Garrus noticed Jane step up to the tank, her hand resting lightly against the glass as she looked up at one of the krogan, their eyes meeting.
“You’ll see Tuchanka again. I promise.” Jane murmured, and the krogan’s eyes seemed to soften.
“Get to elevator, Jane!” Mordin exclaimed at her, waving her off, and she nodded before turning to follow after her brother.
“We need to hurry.” Shepard stated as they all pulled out their weapons, readying them. He led them toward the elevator they’d used to descend into the lab as the VI continued reporting on Cerberus’ attack. Around them, salarians yelled out their progress on securing their subjects and research, and Shepard’s team hurried their steps.
Jane jammed her fist into the holo button, and they all came to wait beside her as the elevator sprang to life. A moment later, the doors opened, but the lift wasn’t empty.
Sitting on the floor of the elevator was a bomb, its small red light blinking rapidly. Garrus cursed.
“Oh crap…”
Notes:
Posting early today because I'm out of town and this will probably be my only chance! It's a busy time of year! Hope everyone is hanging in there, and thank you for all your support and lovely comments. They mean the world to me and are always inspiring!
Chapter 61: Part 3: Chapter 8
Summary:
In which Garrus learns a new toast.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 8
Sur’Kesh
“Get back!” Shepard’s words barely registered as Garrus reacted before he could think. The force of the explosion hit him hard. Light and sound saturated his senses until the ground collided with him sharply and he slid to a stop as pain enveloped him.
As the ringing in his ears faded and his vision began clearing, he heard a groan from nearby. He shifted and looked down to see Jane sheltered in his arms where they lay some distance away from the mangled, burning elevator shaft. Her eyes flickered open and she looked up as she seemed to come back to herself.
“You okay?” Garrus asked quietly, his voice gruff as he winced.
“I think so.” She whispered, blinking her eyes as she attempted to focus them.
“Commander Shepard! Are you alright?” A salarian cried out, and Jane’s head snapped up. Garrus moved, allowing her to push herself back up to her feet, and he quickly followed. Nearby, Shepard was pulling himself up as he groaned, along with the rest of the team. There didn’t appear to be too many injuries, and none serious.
Spirits , that had been close.
“Is there another way out of here?” Shepard asked as he looked around, his voice hoarse.
“Other side of the lab. An emergency exit.” The researcher stated as he frantically returned his attention to his console. “I can open it from here!” Without further delay, the team hurried across the lab toward the door at the far end of the room.
“ Shepard ,” Mordin’s voice barked through the comm, “ Cerberus forces trying to locate females. Quarantine checkpoint under attack. Hurry!”
“Goddamn it.” Shepard muttered as they reached the door. It opened without protest, and they found themselves in a small room with nothing but a ladder leading upwards. Garrus cursed. Ladders had never been his favorite thing in the world, and armor just made them worse.
“ Shepard, it’s Wrex! ” Another voice emanated from their comm as Shepard began the climb. “ I took the shuttle! Do whatever it takes to get the females up to the landing pad!”
“I’m sure Cortez is just loving that.” Garrus snorted as he followed Shepard upwards, Jane hot on his heels.
“Copy that, Wrex. We’ll do our best.” Shepard replied in a clipped voice as he pulled himself up onto the landing above.
“ I’ll try to make life miserable for Cerberus!” The comm cut off, and Shepard turned to offer Garrus a hand as he reached the top of the ladder. They could hear the nearby sounds of gunfire and shouts as the salarian troops fought off Cerberus agents.
They appeared to be above ground now, though still on one of the lowest levels of the complex they’d landed upon. Garrus frowned as he realized how much distance they would have to cover to get the females up to the landing pad.
Before the rest of the team had even emerged from the emergency exit, Shepard began leading them onwards toward the quarantine checkpoint. Very quickly, they encountered Cerberus troops, dispatching them as they came. Interestingly, the soldiers they encountered seemed surprised to encounter resistance that were not salarians, which ruined Garrus’ hypothesis that Cerberus had followed them to Sur’kesh. Had Cerberus planted a mole amongst the STG? Had they been spying on Mordin and Maelon’s efforts to devise a cure for the genophage? It was the only explanation that made sense.
They continued fighting as questions swam through Garrus’ mind. Room by room, they took out every Cerberus troop they encountered as Mordin and Maelon became more and more anxious. One thing was for sure, those females weren’t going to be able to stand up to the kind of firepower that Cerberus had brought with them. Shepard ushered them onwards at a breakneck pace.
“ Shepard, Cerberus is closing in on us, please hurry! ” Maelon urged in a panic. They ducked into a hallway, but as they were about to turn a corner, Shepard’s head whipped to the right, his eyes going wide.
“Watch out!” He yelled as he threw himself to the ground. Garrus threw his arm out, blocking Jane’s way as the door before them exploded outwards, a screaming yahg standing in the ruined doorway. It thrust itself forward, bellowing so loudly that the entire hallway seemed to shake.
It turned toward Shepard where he lay dazed and raised a fist as it prepared to attack. Without so much as blinking, Liara darted past them as her biotics sprung up around her.
“Not this time, you brute!” She yelled as flung her arms outward, catching the creature in a biotic field. It roared in anger as its feet left the ground, its arms flailing as it began to twist in midair. With a flick of her wrist, the yahg was flung through the window, at which point the mass effect field surrounding it vanished. Liara’s eyes were hard, one corner of her lips twitching upwards in a satisfied smile as the beast plummeted.
“Damn, Doc! That was cut-throat!” Vega whistled as Liara readjusted her suit before offering Shepard a hand up. Liara’s smile was somewhat enigmatic as she replied.
“I’ve learned not to underestimate the yahg.”
“It’s interesting what you learn when you’re forced to fight one face-to-face.” Garrus added as he gave Liara a smile, and she nodded as her smile warmed. They hurried onwards, vaulting over debris and low walls as they made their way toward a set of stairs. They encountered another group of Cerberus agents as they crested the top landing.
“ They’ve found us!” Maelon shouted, followed by Mordin’s calmer but equally urgent statement.
“ Cerberus attempting to kill krogan. Need assistance!”
Just ahead, Garrus could see the checkpoint. The quarantine pod the two salarians had used to bring the three females up from the lab was parked by the console, the blue of the force field protecting them sparking as they took fire.
“Light ‘em up!” Shepard ordered, and they all dove into cover before opening fire. Garrus pulled out his rifle and took aim. Before he could pull the trigger, he watched a shield-bearing trooper collapse in a spray of blood as Jane’s shot took him through the barrier’s narrow vision slot.
“Nice one!” He called out, and he didn’t have to look at her to know she was grinning.
“I’m just getting warmed up!” She replied smugly, and he felt affection warm his belly as he returned his focus to the task at hand.
“They’re not going to last long under this kind of assault! We need to get in there!” Ashley yelled before ducking out of cover to take out an engineer as he attempted to set up a turret. Kaidan took the chance to stand and throw a biotic blast toward the troops, throwing them back.
As the last Cerberus soldier fell, Shepard darted toward the console and initiated the quarantine checkpoint clearance. As he flicked through the display, he glanced up at Mordin through the window.
“Are you okay?” He asked quickly before looking back down at the display before him.
“Containment shield is holding.”
“We can probably repair it if necessary.” Maelon added quickly before looking over at the three females crowded in with them. “The same cannot be said of the females.” One of the krogan, the tallest of the three, shifted her gaze to take in Shepard and the rest of his team.
“We’re fine.” She snapped, and her eyes flashed as they continued to bore into him. Garrus shivered, there was something in the intensity of her gaze that made him feel unsettled.
Mordin and Maelon began debating the possibility of the STG being compromised and why Cerberus could possibly want to kill the krogan females. But all the while, the woman’s eyes never left Shepard.
“This isn’t your problem, Commander. You don’t know us.” She interrupted, the unstated question clear as her eyes narrowed. Shepard looked up as he hit the final keystroke and pressed the button to clear them through the checkpoint.
“No, but I’d like to.” Shepard replied with a kind smile, his voice softening. “Hang in there.” He added as the elevator jerked and continued its journey upwards.
That was one of the things that was so compelling about Shepard, and Jane, too, to a lesser degree. He seemed to genuinely care in a way that was rare these days. While he wouldn’t wish a political career on
anyone
, let alone Shepard, Garrus took a moment to appreciate that he would be very good at it if he decided to try someday.
“ What’s taking so long, Shepard? You getting old? Take those bastards out and get your ass back up here!” Wrex bellowed through the comms, resulting in a frustrated sigh from Shepard and a chuckle from everyone else. “ Saren and his goons were much worse than these clowns.”
“Wrex hasn’t exactly mellowed with age, has he?” Garrus muttered with a grin, to which Shepard rolled his eyes and Jane barked a laugh as she shook her head.
They pressed on. Floor by floor, check point by check point, Mordin and Maelon escorted the females closer and closer to the top as the ground team cleared out every Cerberus team they encountered. Finally, after what felt like hours, they arrived on the top floor where they’d first landed.
“We’re almost back to the landing area!” Ashley called out as she scaled the final ladder, and one by one they followed her out into the bright, dappled sunlight. The sun was starting down toward the horizon, the light amber and golden as it peeked down the lush green valley. Even as Garrus noticed the beauty, a squad of Cerberus troops landed from drop ships above in a flurry of gunfire.
“ Shepard! They found us! ” Mordin called out through the comm from where they huddled across the wide open space in the pod. “ Under heavy attack !” They quickly took up positions and began taking them out one by one, the air becoming thick with the smell of smoke, ozone, and blood.
The final Cerberus trooper finally fell with a shot between the eyes, but Garrus’ eyes continued scanning for additional reinforcements. “ Appears safe.” Mordin called out, “ Need final approval now, Shepard. ”
Shepard hurried over to the console by the pod and began typing into the holo display. “We won’t be able to exit until you authorize the release.” Maelon explained from behind the barrier, and Shepard nodded as he searched for the necessary interface. “That should initiate the transfer process for the pod to the landing area.”
“Gottcha.” Shepard finalized the authorization and hit the release button triumphantly. “Let’s get you out of there.” The pod containing the three krogan jerked and began rising into the air again, leaving behind the two salarians. Shepard’s ground team watched from below as a pronged lift started forward to grab the pod before lifting it into the air.
“ Shepard, heads up!” Wrex yelled through the comm, making Garrus jump at the suddenness. “ You’ve got incoming!”
“What-” Garrus began to ask just as a hint of movement caught his eye from above. The ground shook and he nearly lost his footing as something huge hit the ground right where the shuttle had sat earlier that day. A chill tingled the base of his skull before it ran down his spine and seeped into his veins.
The Atlas mech slowly unfurled itself before them. Garrus and the rest of the team around him took a hesitant step backwards as they struggled to process the sudden appearance, but they quickly snapped to attention as it raised its main gun.
“Get down!” Jane screamed as they all threw themselves behind the nearest cover. The explosion reverberated through Garrus like the crashing of a gong, debris pelting them. As the dust settled, he looked up to see Mordin and Maelon struggling to open the now damaged quarantine pod door.
In the back of his mind, he could hear Wrex yelling, along with the salarians’ attempts to force the door open. But it became impossible to do anything other than watch in horror as the mech pilot’s attention zeroed in on the females’ pod hanging from the ceiling mid transfer.
“No! Stop him! Take it out!” Shepard exclaimed as everyone drew their weapons, but Garrus knew it was too little, too late. They opened fire as the mech’s arm rose, taking aim.
It fired.
“Protect the kro- No !” Mordin cried out as the krogan’s pod rocked with the force of the impact, the protective barrier flickering and dying as screams broke across their ears. “No!” The mech lined up another attack, but stumbled as Kaidan’s attack took out one of its knees, causing it to lurch to the side.
They bombarded it with attacks, one after another, slowly damaging its armor and shielding until Garrus saw his chance. The shielding flickered and died, and he noticed a narrow crack in the pilot’s glass barrier. He pulled up his rifle and took aim through the scope. Pulling the trigger, he held his breath. The beautiful crack! of shattering glass met his ears and he watched as the pilot jerked suddenly before slumping forward over his blood splattered controls.
Garrus looked up and breathed a sigh of relief as he registered the mech’s lack of movement. Around him, the frenzied movement of battle slowed, but the peace was broken by another scream of pain from above.
“John! Reinitiate the transfer!” Jane called out as Wrex continued yelling into the comm in blind panic. Shepard moved back toward the console as she darted toward the door Mordin was bashing his fists against with desperation. “Garrus, help me get them out of here!”
Garrus ran toward her, holstering his rifle as he reached the door. Together, they forced it open just as the female’s smoking and damaged pod began to move again. It landed hard and the ground team ran up the steps toward it, followed by the anxious salarians. The shuttle dropped in from above suddenly, nearly crashing into the ground as it pulled up at the last moment. It hit the landing zone hard before the door opened, and a panicked Wrex pushed past everyone as he hurried toward the females.
By the time Garrus and Jane got up to the landing zone, one injured krogan had already been pulled from the mangled pod, limping as she bled and groaned. Another female, apparently unharmed, helped Shepard drag the final female from the wreckage. The two of them laid her down on the ground, and Garrus sucked in a sharp gasp as his stomach dropped through his feet.
The poor woman was covered in her own blood, and more gushed from a large gash in her side. More worrisome still was the head wound that left blood splattered across her face. It was unclear whether she was breathing, but she appeared unresponsive as Mordin and Maelon set to work on her.
“How could you let this happen?” Wrex growled to no one in particular, pacing angrily above the salarians as they worked in a frenzy of activity in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. With a roar of helpless anger, he smashed his fist into the shuttle’s door, leaving a dent before gnashing his teeth and returning his wide eyed stare to the bleeding females. “You’d better save them, or there will be hell to pay!”
“Shut up, Wrex!” The uninjured female snapped as she bent down to help Ashley with her limping fellow. “Either help or get out of our way!” They applied medi gel and managed to get her on her own feet. Wrex grumbled as he crossed his arms and stepped back, his face a dark cloud of anger.
Mordin and Maelon muttered between themselves as they began attempting to resuscitate the bloodied krogan, the rest of the team loitering around them with forlorn despondency. Garrus glanced at Jane, who met his eye momentarily with a small concerned frown. He could tell she was thinking the same thing, and it wasn’t good.
There was a loud explosion, and they all ducked as debris rained down upon them. Looking up, Garrus could see Cerberus troops landing on the other side of the open expanse. Cursing, Wrex grabbed Modrin by his bloodied coat, pulling his face close to his.
“I swear , if you don’t-”
The uninjured krogan female was upon Wrex in an instant. She backhanded him off Mordin, who snapped back to his frenzied work, and then she turned on the krogan clan chief with cool disdain. Her hand darted out and snatched his shotgun from where it was holstered, and with a flick of her wrist she turned and held it before her with casual confidence the belied years of experience.
Three shots rang out, and the stunned ground team turned to see three encroaching Cerberus troops drop to the ground as blood sprayed through the air.
“Don’t just stand there, you lot of blubbering idiots. Leave her, she’s gone beyond where we can help her now. Get your asses on that shuttle or I’m leaving without you.” With that, the krogan female tossed the shotgun back at the wide eyed Wrex before grabbing the limping female under the arm and marching her toward the shuttle.
After a moment, Mordin sighed and his hands slowed. With a nod, he stood and followed her to the shuttle. Maelon trailed after him, his eyes sad as he looked back at the bloodied female on the ground. Wrex seemed torn for a moment before cursing loudly and boarding the shuttle.
“You heard the woman! Move your asses!” Jane called out before hurrying after her, followed by the rest of the team. Garrus and Shepard turned to fire a few rounds off at the last few encroaching troops as everyone boarded, then they also hopped onto the shuttle and closed the door.
In the hours that followed, the Nomandy became something like a buzzing beehive of activity. The aftermath of the events on Sur’kesh had been stressful, even if the mission had ultimately been a success. They’d gotten away with two living krogan females, both immune to the genophage, and two salarian doctors carrying with them an almost complete cure. Regardless, the atmosphere aboard the ship had become tense, to say the least.
Garrus lifted a delicate model ship, holding it aloft carefully as he brought a brush up to add a thin stripe. He examined his work critically before dipping the brush into the cup of water and gently placing the ship back down on the desk.
“That’s perfect, thank you.” Jane murmured as she leaned in for a closer look from where she sat nearby. Together, they’d taken up most of Shepard’s desk in his cabin, tiny plastic pieces of Jane’s current work-in-process strewn about them. Garrus had found her there taking refuge to avoid the drama unfolding between Wrex and Victus. Before he could blink, she’d set him up with her model painting kit.
“You know, when I said I used to paint, this isn’t quite what I meant.” Garrus mused with a grin as he dried his brush and reached for a different bottle of paint. Shrugging, Jane returned her focus to the half completed model before her.
“Well, sorry . I figured the skills would translate well enough.”
“I haven’t actually painted anything since I was back in school, you do realize this, don’t you?” He replied dryly even as he eagerly began mixing the two colors on the palette, searching for just the right hue.
“Okay, fine. Go back downstairs and let Mordin try to set you up with Eve again. Tell me how that works out for you.” Jane replied flippantly with a wave of her hand, and he groaned.
“I know my scars are devilishly attractive, but honestly…” Garrus muttered, and she turned to grin at him before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his scarred mandible.
“Well, I’m going to hide in here until things settle down a bit on the lower decks or until John kicks me out again. All the posturing and arguing is giving me a headache.”
“Victus just wants to get Palaven all the help he can and as soon as possible.” Garrus pointed out as he picked up the quarian ship model again and began carefully adding details to the side of it.
“I know. But now Wrex is stomping about demanding that all krogan be given the cure before he will commit any troops, and then everything with Eve and Lilith… Well, it’s just quieter up here.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask.” Garrus put down his brush and carefully lowered the model to the desk again. “Their names – they don’t seem like krogan names, or is that just me? They sound more human than krogan, but maybe that’s just the translation program.”
“That’s because they are human names.” Jane looked up at him, and he blinked in confusion. “From what I’ve gathered, both of them gave up their original names at some point. Mordin didn’t know what to call them, so he came up with names for them. I don’t know why he picked names from human origin myths, your guess is probably as good as mine.”
“Human origin…?”
“Yeah. According to one human religion, Eve was the first human woman, the mother of our race. I suppose it does make a certain amount of sense. And then there’s another, similar religion, and some of them believe that there was perhaps a woman named Lilith that preceded Eve, but was cast out for whatever reason. I can’t really tell you more than that, it’s not my area of expertise, and I can’t begin to fathom why Mordin picked those names of all things. Maybe he just liked the symbolism. But I doubt there’s that much reason behind it.”
“So, wait… Was your Eve a real person, or-?”
“That question is above my pay grade, I’m not getting into human religious beliefs with you right now. It’s a sticky topic at best, and humans can get very particular about it. If you really want to learn more about it all, go talk to Ashley. The story of Eve comes from her religion.”
“Ah, I see.” He paused before picking up the model and brush and continuing his work. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but humans are so damn confusing. Every time I start thinking I have a grasp on your species, you throw another curve ball at me. Just how many religions do you guys have?”
“I have no idea, probably too many to count.” Jane scoffed, her lips tugged down in a small frown.
“There aren’t that many turian religions, most subscribe to belief in the spirits. Though, I know some have adopted asari beliefs, and I even heard a few turians talking about some human belief called… What was it? Bood-something?”
“Buddhism?”
“Yeah, that was it.”
“Are you serious?” Jane perked up, her eyebrows raised in surprise as she looked back at him in surprise. “That’s interesting. And frankly, sort of amusing.”
“Turians don’t usually care who or what you pray to as long as you do your job and don’t let it affect those around you.”
“That makes too much sense for humans.” Jane rolled her eyes in self depreciation before changing the topic. “So, did you hear that the Prothean device has a name now?”
“Wait, really?” Garrus lowered his brush again, “Since when?”
“John just told me before I came up here. According to Hackett, it’s now called ‘Project Crucible’.”
“Huh. Odd name.”
“Yeah, I thought so, too. But at least it seems to be well underway. He says it should be doable, but we’re going to need to get as many people on board as possible.” Jane clicked a piece into place and turned the model in her hand as she examined it. Garrus leaned back in his seat, gazing down at the model before him as his mind drifted.
“Hopefully everything on Tuchanka goes to plan and we can get the genophage cured. Then we can start getting turian and krogan forces working on the Crucible as well.” His mind started reeling as he contemplated the work that would have to go into coordinating all of it.
“Well, it’s going to have to wait until we handle whatever it is that Wrex needs us to take care of on our way there.”
“What do you mean?” Garrus looked up as Jane shrugged.
“Some sort of mission, it’s all very hush hush. But John let slip that it might have to do with the rachni.”
“The rachni ?” Garrus spluttered, nearly dropping the model. Jane glowered at him as he shifted his grip on it before placing it down on the desk carefully. “But didn’t the queen promise not to cause trouble?”
“Yeah, I guess we’ll see when we get there.”
“It doesn’t make sense, though. We let her go on the condition she disappeared forever. She wouldn’t risk everything to start a war.”
“I know. And hopefully I won’t have to go telling John that I told him so. I never thought letting her live was a good idea, personally.” With that, Jane put her model down and leaned back in her chair, stretching her arms over her head. “Okay, enough of this.” She reached over to pluck the paint brush from Garrus’ hands and plopped it back into the cup of water. In one fluid motion she rolled out of her chair and into his lap.
“Whoa there, hello…” He murmured with a slow smile as she grinned down at him.
“I know we cleaned up after the mission and all, but I also know for a fact that John is in the middle of a meeting, and I could use a nice hot shower to relax. If you’d care to join me…?” Jane whispered into his ear as she leaned in close, and Garrus felt himself shudder in anticipation. Her fingers snaked down under the hem of his shirt and began inching it upwards, her fingers leaving trails of fire in their wake. He didn’t fight her.
“You’re positive he’s not going to come yell at us again this time?”
“Life is much more fun lived on the edge. You aren’t afraid of a little risk, are you? Archangel ?” Jane purred and he felt himself buck upwards as she chuckled. His thinly reigned control snapped and he stood suddenly, holding her to him as he pushed the chair back and moved toward the nearby shower door.
Garrus shoved her up against the door, leaning into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms came up to snake around his neck. He had one hand around her as the other searched frantically for the door controls, his tongue and teeth slowly making their way up her neck toward her ear. He breathed her in, his heart seeming to thud in his chest in time with sweet noises she was making.
Somehow, he never got tired of this, of her. Every time he touched her, was touched by her, it felt new and exciting. At the same time, it now felt familiar and comforting, like coming home after a long day.
They nearly fell forward as Garrus found the controls, the door snapping open. He caught them before they could fall, and he quickly lowered Jane to her feet before turning to lock the door behind them.
“How much time do you think before Shepard’s meeting is over?” Garrus asked before pausing as sudden thoughts intruded, cooling his ardor somewhat. “Is this that confidential meeting with Victus? What could that possibly be about? Victus hasn’t mentioned anything to me about it yet.” He turned to see Jane already tugging her shirt off impatiently.
“I don’t know, and I don’t care . I swear to god, Big Guy, if you don’t get your ass undressed this instant, I’m going to strip you with my omni-blade.”
Garrus grinned and finally began pulling off his own shirt. “Promises, promises…”
“How’s he doing?” Garrus asked a few days later as he stepped from the main battery into the mess hall. Shepard looked up from where he stood, leaning against the kitchenette’s low counter as he stared blankly at a datapad. Before them, the medbay’s windows remained shuttered.
Their last mission hadn’t gone smoothly. Somehow, nothing went smoothly when the rachni were involved, if you could call the abominations they’d encountered ‘rachni’. They’d met up with Wrex’s team there, but there hadn’t been many survivors.
“Grunt’s a trooper.” Shepard replied as he frowned, belying his concern as his brows knit together. “But he lost a lot of blood. I’m glad we were able to get him to Chakwas quickly. Even so, she says he needs to be seen by specialists on the Citadel as soon as possible, so we’re going to make a stop there on our way to Tuchanka.” Garrus parked himself beside the Commander and crossed his arms as he leaned back.
“I see. Well, at least he’s still alive. Could have gone a lot worse.” Garrus muttered, and Shepard nodded. His mind wandered back to the dark, dank caverns and the fetid webbing of the rachni modified by the Reapers and shuttered. “A whole lot worse.” Honestly, they were all probably lucky to have walked away from that one.
“Yeah. He’s in good hands for the moment though.” Shepard snorted with a small smile, “The smaller of the two females seems to have taken a shine to him. Lilith, I think her name is now.” Garrus blinked in surprise, his mandibles flicking.
“Really? What makes you say that?”
“From what I understand, if not for Mordin’s insistence that both females remain in the medbay for now, Chakwas might have kicked her out for trying to be too helpful while she was treating Grunt’s wounds. Even now, I think the smaller krogan is keeping vigil over him as he sleeps.”
“That’s… really kind of sweet.” Garrus chuckled with a shrug and a stifled smile. Shepard nodded in agreement as he laughed. They stood there in silence for a few moments before Garrus changed the topic. “Quite a pick for EDI’s first ground side mission. She did well, though.”
“She did, I’m proud of her.” Shepard’s smile softened, his pride shining through.
“ Thank you, Commander.” EDI’s disembodied voice emanated from above them, and Garrus couldn’t contain a crooked smile at the pleased note he could hear from her. They chatted for a few more minutes before Garrus pushed himself off the counter.
“I’m going to go grab a drink and relax a little before hitting the sack. Care to join me?” Garrus asked, hoping this invitation would be the one to pull Shepard away from his work. He felt his hope die and the other man shook his head.
“Not tonight, I think. Too much to get done.” Shepard muttered, eyeing the datapad in his hand. Garrus narrowed his eyes in concern, taking a moment to really examine his friend. Jane was right to be worried if the dark circles under Shepard’s eyes were any clue. Garrus might not be a master at reading and understanding humans, but he liked to think he’d improved somewhat since first joining the Normandy. If he didn’t know better, he’d say Shepard had lost weight in the past few weeks, and there was a pale, drawn quality to his skin that seemed off.
Garrus sighed, unsure how hard to push, “You sure? You look like you could use a night off.” Shepard shook his head before tapping the button to illuminate the datapad’s screen.
“Nah, but thanks for the invite.” The Commander’s attention returned to his work, the dismissal evident. Garrus didn’t move, and after a moment he tried again, his voice softer as he took a gamble.
“Tali wouldn’t want you to push yourself to the point of collapsing, Shepard.” The other man’s face seemed to darken at his words, and Garrus wondered if he’d stepped too far.
“I know,” Shepard finally murmured, his voice leaden, “But if I let up, if I don’t do everything I can, I might never see her again. So I’m going to keep working.” His eyes never left his datapad, and Garrus sighed again as he nodded.
“Okay. But don’t forget to come up for air every now and then.” After a moment, he added, “Jane and I are here for you if you need us.” With that, Shepard finally looked up at him with a small, tired smile.
“I know. Thanks, Garrus. I’m glad I have you guys watching my six.” Garrus smiled back at him before nodding his goodbye. He turned and made his way toward the port observation deck.
As the doors opened, he was surprised by the silence he was met with. Lately it had become normal to find at least a few crew members relaxing or wallowing at the bar in their off hours, but there didn’t appear to be anyone this evening. Garrus wasn’t sure if the quiet was a good thing or not. It was hard to ignore the intrusive thoughts when he was alone with himself.
It wasn’t until he’d fixed himself a drink that he turned around and jumped as he noticed the young man curled up on the couch by the door nursing a half finished bottle. He was one of the younger Normandy crew members, one of the ones who had a tendency to stare wide eyed at those of the crew considered ‘heroes’.
“Copeland. Have you been there this whole time?” Garrus asked, trying to reign in the high pitched notes of surprise in his subvocals.
“Uh, yes. S-sorry, sir.” Ensign Copeland seemed to swallow before continuing. “I didn’t mean to surprise you. I can leave, if you-” Garrus waved him off, instead sitting down on the couch across from him.
“No, you look comfy. Hope you don’t mind if I join you?”
“Of- of course not! Go ahead!” Copeland stuttered with evident surprise as he settled back into his seat. They sat there for a moment before the other man seemed to gather his courage with an awkward cough. “So… I saw that krogan that you guys brought back from the last mission. He looked pretty rough.” Garrus nodded as he took a sip of his drink and leaned back.
“That was Grunt. He’ll pull through, though. He’s tough. He’ll be up and causing more trouble than he’s worth in no time.” Garrus couldn’t help the snort of laughter as he took another sip, savoring the burn in the back of his throat.
“It’s amazing that you guys made it out of there alive.” Copeland murmured in awe, voicing something similar to Garrus’ own thoughts from minutes earlier. “I heard you guys ran into rachni, is that true?” He shuddered before he seemed to collect himself. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry, sir.” Garrus smiled, shaking his head to dismiss the other man’s worries. It wasn’t the first time Copeland and the younger soldiers amongst the crew had inquired about their missions, both present and past. He would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy telling them a few stories. He tried not to embellish them too much, and honestly, they didn’t need exaggeration to be amazing.
“Not sure if those things really could be called rachni. The Reapers altered them so much, I could barely recognized them.” Garrus looked away with a disgusted frown. It was hard not to shudder at the thought of the beasts they’d found. When he looked back, Copeland was staring at him with widened eyes.
“Wait, you have enough experience with rachni to be able to easily recognize them on sight?” The younger man’s amazement that made Garrus grin, and he felt himself lean back further into the couch as he brought his ankle up to cross over his knee.
“Wasn’t the first time I’ve faced rachni.” He stated offhandedly in a way that he hoped didn’t sound too boastful. Maybe just a little boastful. Just the right level of boastfulness, perhaps.
“Really?” Copeland asked eagerly, instantly drawn in as though he could sense a story worth hearing. “You’ve seen them before?” Garrus smiled as he thought back to the frigid planet all those years ago.
“Few years back. On Noveria.” He began, “Saren and his minions were trying to extract information from the rachni queen.”
“You saw the queen ?” Copeland gasped before he could continue, and Garrus tried to force down the smirk on his face. Noveria had sucked at the time, but it sure did make for a good story now. Who was he to disappoint?
“Hell, we spoke to her.” Garrus stated, and Copeland’s mouth dropped open in surprise as he leaned forward, the last few sips of the drink in his hand long since forgotten.
“You spoke ?” He paused with a small shake of his head, “I can’t imagine that.” The younger man released a breath in a sigh before leaning back a little. “The things you’ve done, sir… they’re amazing.”
Garrus shrugged as he thought back to the cold halls and labs of Noveria. The screams, the blood, the terror, the mangled corpses… Liara screaming, her tears running in streams down her face as her mother’s eyes closed for the final time. He abruptly felt all the swelled up confidence in his chest leech out, leaving him oddly cold and empty.
“Well, it didn’t seem that way at the time.” He sighed, and Copeland’s face sobered as he seemed to recognize the seriousness of his tone. “Mostly you’re just clawing your way out of one mess and into another, hoping your ass comes along for the ride.”
“Ah. Yeah. That makes sense.” Copeland replied quietly, but before he could continue, they were interrupted by the door opening, and they both looked up to see James Vega enter the room, his hair damp and a towel draped across his neck.
“Hey guys.” He said as he glanced about, but blinked as he noticed their somber faces. “Geez, who died?” Garrus raised a brow plate and opened his mouth to comment on his lack of tact, but James beat him to it. “I know, I know. Sorry. Anyway, what are you all drinking? Can I top you guys off while I’m up?”
The larger human moved toward the bar, but both he and Copeland turned him down. While Garrus’ was still mostly full, Copeland took the last swig of his before standing and excusing himself for the night. As James settled down into his seat, he took a sip of his beer and released a long breath.
“So, those rachni were really something, huh Scars?”
“We were just talking about them. If I never see another spider again, I’ll die a contented turian.” James tipped his bottle in agreement, but cocked his head in consideration.
“Sorry to pop your bubble, but hell is probably full of ‘em.”
“Ah, damn.” Garrus grinned as he shook his head in mock disappointment. “Good thing turians don’t believe in hell, I suppose.”
“Wait, turians don’t have any hell?” James sat up in surprise, and Garrus shook his head. He’d had the concept of hell explained to him, but he couldn’t think of anything that correlated for turians. The thought of eternal damnation was, quite frankly, terrifying. But perhaps that was the point. “But what about heaven? You must have some sort of life after death in your religion. Isn’t that the whole point of it all?”
“Yeah, we believe in the afterlife, but it isn’t really a black and white morality thing.”
“Ah, I see. So you guys don’t believe in a god or a devil?” James pressed, and Garrus shook his head again.
“No, but we believe in the spirits. It’s a little different.”
“Like the spirits of your ancestors? Or are they more like our saints or something?”
“Saints? I’m not sure what those are, but spirits are like a manifestation of the best traits of a group. So a town or a city may have a spirit that embodies their resilience or fortitude, or a family may have a spirit that embodies their honor. A military unit, their courage and determination, and so on.”
“Ah, I see. So when you keep calling out ‘sprits !’ during missions, that’s you, like, praying to them for help or something?”
“No, not really, not for help. For me, it’s mostly just a bad habit at this point, like cursing. I know a lot of you humans do something similar. Spirits can’t really help us directly, they just inspire us with the traits they embody. So when in need of courage or strength, a soldier might appeal to their unit’s spirit.” Garrus paused, snorting as he took a moment to try and remember the last time he’d truly felt connected to the spirits. “Not that any of that’s ever done me much good, I suppose.”
“Well, you wouldn’t be the first soldier I’ve met who’s come out of a battle with their faith a little shaken. Some find comfort in it, some don’t.” Garrus looked up at the other man, surprised by the compassion on his face. The moment passed, however, as James grinned and continued, “Tell you what, Scars. Let’s make this a real cultural exchange. Here’s an old Earth toast-” He held up his bottle, “May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.”
Garrus paused, his glass half uplifted as he processed the statement coming through his translator. Taken literally, it had absolutely no meaning to a turian. But coupled with his knowledge of humanity, it made a certain amount of sense. It seemed to encompass the boldness that he’d come to love about humans, even if some of the longer lived species preferred to call them ‘brazen’ or ‘brash’.
But so many humans didn’t seem to bother wasting time debating things when immediate action was necessary. They dove right in and got their hands dirty, and they did what needed to be done, no matter the cost. Shepard’s call for the Alliance to protect the Destiny Ascension during Sovereign's attack on the Citadel was the perfect example.
Humans were bold. They were adventurous, they were audacious, they were fearless and resolute. His mind drifted to one in particular, her bright eyes flashing and her vibrant hair shining as she stood tall, always confident and unashamed.
Garrus grinned and finished raising his glass.
“I can drink to that.”
Notes:
Thank you for being patient, today was a crazy day and nothing played out like I'd hoped. But I got it posted before the end of the day, so all is not lost! Thank you to all my wonderful readers, and especially to those of you who have reached out to show your support. It means the world to me and is so inspiring!
Chapter 62: Part 3: Chapter 9
Summary:
In which Garrus assists in the making of history.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 9
The Normandy SR2
When it had come out that the Primarch had sent his own son on a secret mission to Tuchanka, but wouldn’t admit to the mission’s purpose, Garrus had smelled trouble. It was very unlike the man to stoop to promoting or selecting someone simply because they were family, and such things were more than frowned upon in the Hierarchy.
Of course, then the dirty details came out and it made a certain kind of sense. In retrospect, Garrus could see why the Hierarchy of centuries ago had decided to plant the bomb on Tuchanka, even if now it had nearly proven to be their undoing.
Watching Lieutenant Victus plummet to his death had been hard, even knowing he’d done the right thing, even knowing he’d likely paved the way for their continued efforts to defeat the Reapers. Without the boy’s sacrifice, peace between the turians and the krogan would have been impossible, and so in a way, they owed it all to him.
While many turian fathers would probably find comfort in that, Garrus could still see the pain etched across the Primarch’s face. Being the only other turian aboard, he was probably the only one who could understand the mourning chords in the other man’s subvocals, even though he was clearly attempting to keep them at bay.
As if the whole situation with the bomb wasn’t awkward enough, it seemed like everyone on the Normandy had to voice their opinions on the matter, especially to Garrus. As if he’d had anything to do with it, spirits …
“But you turians did not go far enough.” Javik mused from where he stood in the kitchenette stirring a pot of… something. Something awful smelling. “You should have detonated the bomb on the krogan world,” he paused to taste whatever it was, “or used it as leverage.”
Garrus stifled a groan, choosing to take a calming breath instead as he focused his gaze on his own plate of food. The squelching sound coming from the pot as the Prothean stirred was ruining his appetite.
“I think we were just trying to guarantee peace.” Garrus said with measured patience, more than he truly felt. Javik turned to sneer at him before pouring the godawful slop into a bowl and grabbing a spoon from the drawer.
“A static mode of existence. Nothing changes, nothing struggles, nothing grows.” Javik came to sit across from him, and Garrus felt his mandibles twitch as he clenched his jaw. He took a deep breath, finished off his last bite, and then raised his browplate at his new dinner companion.
“On the upside,” Garrus began dryly, “we all get to live another day.” He stood, pushing back his chair as he gathered his utensils. “Nice chatting.” He finished with only a hint of sarcasm before he moved to handle his dishes. He could hear Jane snort in amusement from her seat beside his newly vacated one.
“There is some enjoyment in speaking with this turian.” Garrus could hear Javik muse to Jane from where he stood at the sink even over the sound of the water running. “His knowledge of war is formidable.” He felt an odd spike of pride at the Prothean’s words and a smirk spread across his face. Javik frowned before continuing. “Though, he would be an even better marksman if he had four eyes.”
The smirk vanished from Garrus’ face as he rolled his perfectly passable two eyes with a huffed sigh. There was no pleasing some people.
Worst of all, of course, was when Wrex cornered him in the bathroom. Human toilets were uncomfortable on the best of days, and this was decidedly not the best of days. Garrus had only been sitting for a moment when the door slammed open, the silhouette of a furious krogan looming before him.
“I’ll assume you knew nothing about this.” Wrex growled, his voice deceptively calm. Garrus blinked slowly in shock as he struggled to process the sudden breach of privacy. The krogan’s eyes narrowed before he continued, his voice dripping with false honey in a way that Garrus found more menacing than if he’d screamed outright . “My good friend wouldn’t hide the fact that his people planted a doomsday bomb on my planet, right?”
Garrus glared up at Wrex, forcing down the knee jerk reaction to yell about the intrusion. Instead, he took another deep breath as he attempted to find a modicum of calm.
“Wrex, I was just as much in the dark as you. Honest.” His voice was a mixture of placation and evident exasperation, but Wrex remained unmoved, a towering monolith of righteous anger. They remained there, staring each other down for another few moments as Garrus fought the urge to fidget awkwardly.
Wrex’s fury seemed to melt in an instant, an amused smile stretching across his face as he stepped back a hair. “That’s all I needed to hear.” He said genially with a bob of his shoulders. “Just making you sweat, Garrus.” He took another step backward as he chuckled. “Wasn’t sure you could, you’re always so calm.”
Garrus wanted to laugh, and not because he was amused. The whole situation, on top of everything else happening lately… he just wished he had something to throw at the spirits-forsaken krogan.
“I’d be happy to give krogan some lessons on relaxing.” He ground out as felt his mandibles twitch. He plastered a dry smile on his face that he knew didn’t reach his eyes as he glared at the intruding krogan.
“Ha!” Wrex tipped his head back and laughed as he turned to leave. “And we’d be happy to feed you to a thresher maw.” He raised a hand in farewell as he strode out of the bathroom. “Wrex out.” He called back before the door shut behind him. Garrus glared after him as he leaned forward to angrily pull the stall door shut again.
Tensions simmered for the next few hours as they rested and prepared to make their way down to the Shroud to disperse the genophage cure. It all finally boiled to the surface as Jane and Garrus made their way toward the war room to meet with Shepard regarding the upcoming mission.
“-risk another galactic war with the krogan!” Victus’ frustrated voice emanated from around the corner, loud enough to be heard as soon as they stepped through the security doors.
“The genophage wasn’t enough?” Wrex growled as they hurried into the war room. “You had to plant a bomb on my planet?”
“The decision was made hundreds of years ago. So much has changed!” Victus retorted, waving a hand as he attempted to explain and justify the action of his predecessors.
“Not enough to tell us about the bomb, coward!” Wrex yelled as he thrust a finger into Victus’ face angrily.
“Hey!” Jane called out as she hurried down the steps, coming to rest between the two leaders. She glared at both of them in turn, her eyes narrowed in accusation. “The Reapers are out there destroying the galaxy, and you want to fight about this ?” She asked incredulously, her face awash with shocked disgust. Just then, Shepard stepped out of the comm room.
“What’s going on here? I heard yelling.” His eyes scanned the room, finally coming to rest on Garrus in his search for answers.
“There are still some hard feelings regarding the turian bomb on Tuchanka.” Garrus explained carefully, not letting his eyes stray to either of the angry men before him, and Shepard nodded his understanding.
“We can’t let the past rip us apart.” He stated solemnly. “Working together, we have a chance.” He started toward them, slowly making his way around the holo display in the center of the room. “Primarch, you had a bomb on Tuchanka.” His words weren’t quite accusatory, but carried a gentle rebuke.
“And Wrex?” Jane chimed in, turning to glare at the krogan, “In the turians’ place, you would have done the same damn thing.”
“Shepard-” Wrex turned toward the Commander, but whether to refute or explain, Garrus wasn’t sure as Shepard cut in over him.
“It’s over!” He barked, his voice suddenly as hard and cold as ice. “His own son died today making this right!” The room fell into silence as Shepard glared daggers at both Wrex and Victus. Not even Jane dared to speak.
“Please, Commander.” Victus finally spoke up, his voice soft and sad. “It’s alright.”
“Yes. Fine.” Wrex snapped, clearly feeling less than fine, but it was evident that he was at least trying. “Shepard, you made your point.” He turned to eye Jane before continuing. “We have stronger enemies to face.”
The situation quickly defused as Shepard and Victus stepped off to talk quietly, and Wrex turned with a huff to roll his eyes at Jane.
“I should have known all those years ago when we first met and you almost tried gutting me that you were going to be a thorn in my side, pyjack.” Despite his words, the corner of his lips quirked upwards in a smile. “You’d better have the quads you pretend to have, kid. I’ve got a feeling getting to the Shroud won’t be half as easy as you people seem to think.”
As they all piled into the shuttle, Garrus wished for a moment that the other shuttle wasn’t in for repairs. The small space was often a little packed with just the ground team, but with the addition of the three krogan and the two salarians… Well, it was more than a little uncomfortable. Was there a weight restriction on these things?
They were still waiting for Shepard, who had taken a last minute call, and Garrus hoped he would hurry. There was always a level of anxiety before missions, but most seemed to nearly vibrate with a desire to get on with it. All but one.
“I appreciate that you want to help us.” Garrus jumped at the sudden voice beside him, and he looked over to see the smaller of the two females, ‘Lilith’ as Mordin had dubbed her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.” She murmured with a small duck of her head, most of her face shrouded by folds of cloth except for two bright eyes that watched him with curiosity.
“No, it’s okay. And it’s my pleasure. I’m happy to be here to help Wrex save his people.” Garrus replied, and her eyes seemed to crinkle as though she were smiling.
“It makes me happy to hear that. I never thought to see salarians and turians working to help us cure the genophage, but here we are.” Garrus smiled back at her.
“But here we are.” He repeated, and they fell into silence for a moment. “So, did you enjoy your time aboard the Normandy?” He finally asked somewhat offhandedly, and Lilith nodded quickly.
“Oh, yes. It’s a beautiful ship and very comfortable. I had never been off Tuchanka before I was brought to Sur’kesh, and I don’t really remember the trip there very well. So this was, in a way, my first time on a spaceship. Not that I was allowed to spend much time exploring.”
“Ah, yeah. Sorry about that.” Garrus wasn’t sure why he was apologizing, but there was something open and friendly about her. He was positive that she was quite a bit older than him – krogan were very long lived after all – but she still had an air of youth about her that made her seem approachable. “I’m glad you’ve had a good time, regardless.”
“Yes, or at least as good a time as one can have, given the circumstances.”
“Fair enough.” Garrus conceded with a wry smile.
“But it has been a pleasure meeting you all and getting to know everyone. We appreciate your help more than you shall ever realize.” Lilith’s voice was calm and determined, and Garrus couldn’t help but relax in her presence. “To beat the Reapers, we all need to put aside our differences and focus on our similarities.”
“And I think there are more of those similarities than any of us had previously realized.” Garrus finished as he looked about the room. He never would have thought to see humans, salarians, krogan, and turians working together, especially to cure the genophage. But as Lilith had said, here they were.
“Shepard! I was beginning to think you’d lost your nerve!” Wrex barked as the Commander finally arrived. “Hurry up and let’s get this show moving. I’ve waited long enough.” His face hardened and his voice dropped to a low rumble as he continued. “Today, we cure the genophage.”
A cheer rose up in response to the clan chief’s statement, but Garrus couldn’t help but notice the paleness of Shepard's face as he entered the shuttle, his eyes tight and his lips drawn down in a frown. Garus hoped that whatever his last minute call had been about, it hadn’t been bad news.
The shuttle door closed, and a low buzz of conversation picked up as they began their trip down to the planet’s surface. But all the while, Shepard remained silent, his expression distant and thoughtful. Garrus didn’t seem to be the only one to notice, however.
“John, everything okay?” Jane asked from where she stood nearby, her voice laced with concern and anxiety.
“Yes, Commander, you seem troubled.” The larger of the two krogan females, Eve, pointed out quietly from her seat nearby. Shepard glanced at them both, seeming to weight something before shaking his head.
“There’s just a lot on the line.” He finally said hesitantly. “I want this to go well.”
“Have faith.” Eve stated, her voice bold and purposeful as she glanced at each of the shuttle’s occupants. “No matter the adversity we face, some moments are destined to happen.” Her eyes flicked back up to Shepard with a steely glint. “This is one of them.”
Shepard’s unusual distraction seemed to continue after they landed. He momentarily seemed to snap out of it as they threw themselves into battle with Reaper ground forces, but as soon as the fighting was over, he seemed to retreat into himself as though he were struggling with some internal debate.
They loaded into the krogan’s armored trucks, called tomkahs, with Maelon and Lilith in one, Mordin and Eve in another in hopes that if they were to come under attack, all their hopes wouldn’t be dashed in a single ill-fated blast. Garrus found himself riding alongside Lilith again with Jane, James, and Ashley, in addition to a few other krogan guards. But they rode in an uneasy silence, every now and then broken by quiet murmuring that never seemed to spark up into full conversation. In the distance, they could hear the ominous sounds of muffled explosions.
“Why are we stopping?” Jane asked eventually as the caravan slowed, the occupants jerking in their seats as their vehicle came to a stop. They all made to stand, but Jane gestured to Maelon and Lilith to stay where they were. “We’ll check it out. You two stay here, safer that way.”
One by one, the rest of them exited out onto the dusty, debris-covered path that they’d been traveling on toward the Shroud, and it quickly became apparent what the issue was as they laid eyes upon the huge chunk missing from the road ahead. Turning, Garrus could see Shepard standing not far off, his gaze locked upon a pillar sticking out of the ground.
It was the Shroud. That much was evident from the difference in architecture style from the crumbled ruins around it. It seemed to glow as it spewed something up into the atmosphere, parting the dusty clouds above to replace them with a haze of green.
And before it stood a Reaper, its insect-like carapace curving upwards towards the sky in an echo of the structure just behind it. Garrus’ stomach roiled as he tried to wrap his head around the scope of what he was laying eyes upon.
“Look at that Reaper.” He murmured, and Shepard looked over at him as though just noticing his presence. “It’s the end of the world out there.”
“Yeah.” Shepard replied quietly, his face drawn. Jane came to stand on her brother’s other side and turned to look up at him with a concerned face.
“John, are you sure you’re okay? You’re not yourself.”
“I-” He started but quickly cut himself off, his expression conflicted. It was as though he had something on the tip of his tongue, but couldn’t bring himself to begin. Or perhaps he didn’t know how to begin. “Before we left the Normandy, I got a-”
“ What’s happening, Shepard?” Wrex’s voice broke in over the comm, cutting him off as he turned his back on the Shroud beyond. “ We can’t sit around like this.”
“The road’s out.” Shepard answered quickly, Garrus and Jane forgotten as he walked back toward the tomkahs. “The convoy can’t make it through.” Something seemed to occur to him suddenly, and he pulled up his omni-tool. “Turian wing Artimec, this is Shepard. We’ve been delayed– Hold off your attack.”
Garrus didn’t have to hear the response to know it was no good. The fighters went flying over a moment later, their approach locked as the Reaper rounded on them. “Crap.” He growled as dust rained down upon them. “An airstrike alone won’t do it. We have to get in that fight.”
“Damn it.” Shepard swore as they watched a fighter take a direct hit, exploding as it hit the ground at high speed. “At this rate, we’re all sitting ducks.” He hurried over toward the krogan currently inspecting the damaged road. “I don’t care if we have to build a new road! We’re going!” He barked before turning back toward the waiting vehicles.
“Shepard! Watch out!” Liara screamed and everyone looked up to see a burning turian fighter spinning out of control, looming larger every moment as it careened towards them.
“Move!” Shepard cried out as they all threw themselves to the ground. The fighter crashed into one of the many tomkahs, sending burning debris flying as it exploded. The shockwave threw everyone backwards, and when his head and ears finally stopped spinning, Garrus rolled over as anxiety welled up like bile in his stomach, throbbing in time with his headache.
Which tomkahs had been hit in the explosion? Were either - or both - of the females injured? Or worse…?
“ Shepard, what’s happening?” Wrex’s panicked yells crackled through the comm. Garrus looked around for the others, praying Jane had made it clear of the blast.
“Wrex!” Jane called out before coughing, and Garrus felt himself finally breathe. “Get the females out of here now! Go!” He finally spotted her as he helped pull Shepard to his feet as he coughed and shuddered. The two remaining tomkahs sprang to life, their wheels sending up dirt and rocks and they sped forward, despite the damaged road.
As the air cleared, Garrus could see each of the ground team managing to haul themselves to their feet as Shepard confirmed with relief that both females and the salarians were aboard the two tomkahs, along with Wrex and his brother Wreav.
“Come on, follow me!” Shepard ordered with a wave of his hand before hurrying forward into the depths of the nearby ruins. Ashley, Kaidan, EDI, Javik, and James hurried after him, and after a moment, Liara trailed behind, too, muttering darkly to herself.
“Garrus, come on!” Jane yelled, and he ran after her as she started down the stairs.
“This is insane.” Garrus stated as he looked around at the crumbling walls. The light began to fade with each step, and each of them pulled out their weapons, turning on their flashlight adaptors. “Are these some sort of catacombs?”
The ground shook, causing dust and chunks of rock to rain down upon them. “What was that?” Liara whispered anxiously, looking around with wide eyes.
“Felt like a tremor.” Garrus replied as his heart began thudding hard in his chest. The last thing he wanted was to die deep underground, crushed by tons of rock and dirt. There were brave, honorable ways to die, and then there was being squished like a bug.
“Come on, Scars! Buck up, no need to be scared of the dark.” James laughed before slapping him on the back and stepping around him. Garrus rolled his eyes, but followed after.
Shepard continued leading them onwards, only occasionally finding dead ends as he discussed their route with the krogans over the comms. As they made their way deeper and deeper into the ruins, the fear began to rescind, replaced with curiosity.
“Eve said this was one of their ancient cities, right?” Garrus asked, and someone muttered an agreement. Stepping close to one of the walls, he shined his light on what appeared to be old paintings of krogan kneeling before someone. Liara took in a sharp awe filled breath as she stepped forward to ghost her fingers over the artwork.
“Fascinating! This painting suggests krogan had an artistic side.” She breathed, and Jane stepped up beside her to examine the paintings.
“ I will make records for future study. ” EDI said as she peered closely at each painting, no doubt recording each one.
“Huh. Who’d have thought?” Jane glanced around the large room, her light coming to rest on a statue of a krogan in one corner. “They really did have an impressive culture at one point.”
“Honestly, it’s amazing to see that the krogan had any culture…” Ashley muttered under her breath, causing Kaidan to snort a laugh.
“Nuclear war has a way of erasing the past.” Garrus stated dryly, and their smiles melted as they nodded their sober agreement.
“As do the Reapers.” Javik added a moment later, his low and quiet voice dripping with dark hatred. No one responded, the weight of what each species had to lose suddenly painfully evident in the echoing darkness and shattered ruins around them.
“Come on guys, this isn’t an art gallery. Get a move on.” Shepard snapped, reality returning with the suddenness of a rubber band. Despite the urgency to continue on, Garrus noticed as Shepard eyed the various works of art they encountered with surprise and interest as they hurried through the halls and tunnels.
Without warning, they were all nearly thrown to the ground as the tunnel shook violently, huge chunks of the ceiling falling down around them as the tunnel threatened to collapse.
“There it is again.” Garrus groaned as he rubbed the top of his head where he’d soon be sporting a bruise. “ That didn’t feel like a tremor to me.” He said, eliciting a series of murmured agreements from the team around him. Shepard quickly enquired with the krogans above, and as soon as Eve spoke up, Garrus felt his blood chill as fear settled upon him like a second skin, tight and constrictive.
“Did I hear that right?” Liara hissed, her eyes wide. “Kalros, mother of all thresher maws ?” She asked in dawning horror.
“When the krogan name a thresher maw, you know you’re in trouble. They don’t think anyone’s ever going to kill it.” Garrus grumbled, and his were not the only feet moving with a little extra urgency as they pressed onwards. After a few minutes, though, Jane paused suddenly, her flashlight trained upon something in the wall.
“John, hold up. Look at this.” She stepped forward, her fingers tracing over paintings of ancient krogan riding huge tusked beasts and bearing spears of some sort. She stopped in front of a small hollow in the wall and reached forward to pluck up a small statuette of a krogan, slighter and proportioned slightly different than those Garrus was acquainted with.
“Fascinating!” Liara whispered as she leaned to look as Jane turned the small figure over in her hands. “I believe this is a krogan female. She seems well dressed and adorned, perhaps she was some sort of leader? Royalty perhaps? If they had such a social system, I know very little about ancient krogan culture.”
“Huh.” Shepard stepped closer and held his hand out. Jane carefully placed the statuette in his hand, and he brought it up to examine it. “It really is amazing. The craftsmanship is exquisite.”
“Right?” Jane asked excitedly as the small artifact was carefully passed from person to person. “Can you imagine what the krogan could have been if their society hadn’t destroyed itself? They have so much potential. They could be so much more than they are.” Garrus slowly nodded his head in agreement, finding himself surprised to be doing so. But she was right, the evidence was all around them. Shepard seemed to consider her words too, his face thoughtful as he, too, began to nod.
Finally, he passed the statue back to Jane with a small smile. “Perhaps you’re right.” She took it and placed it carefully in her belt pouch before drawing her weapon again. Shepard squared his shoulders and turned back down the tunnel. “Come on guys, let’s keep moving.”
They pressed onward, hurrying through a maze of corridors for what felt like ages. Despite nearly tripping over the ominous corpse of a Reaper bred rachni, hope finally dawned as they ran up a steep staircase and out into Tuchanka’s filtered sunlight. Liara had to be tugged away from the intricate carvings and statues as Wrex urged them to hurry, and even Garrus had to admit that he wished they had some time to look around and explore.
They stepped out into a huge, open aired structure covered in green leaves and vines, of all things. “It’s… green. I thought plants were extinct on Tuchanka.” Jane gasped as she spun around to take it all in.
“ You’re looking at hope – all that’s left of it on Tuchanka. ” Eve’s voice broke in over the comm. “ This was once a world full of beauty. Given a chance, it can be again.”
“This place is amazing. I never knew the krogan had it in them.” Garrus murmured as he gazed around the massive ruins, and Jane turned to smile at him.
“Yeah. But I think Eve is right. If we can cure the genophage, it could lead to a krogan renaissance.” She murmured, and Shepard’s stared at her for a moment before looking out over the greenery. After a pause, he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. When he turned around, his face seemed set and determined, focused and hopeful in a way Garrus hadn’t seen since they’d arrived on Tuchanka.
“Let’s get a move on, guys. We’ve got a planet to save.” Shepard called out, and he was met by an invigorated cheer from his team.
Nothing prepared them for the sheer size of the thresher maw queen. Kalros was every bit as terrifying as the Reaper that guarded the Shroud, if not more so. She appeared without warning, leaping from the sand as easily as a fish from water, and left a wake of destruction behind her. She sprayed acid with wild abandon, leaving sizzling scars behind on the rocks and debris around her.
By some miracle, they managed to rendezvous with the trucks, all piling in as quickly as they could. Together, the two tomkahs roared through the ruins toward the Shroud, the Reaper looming large before them as Kalros trailed death behind.
When they finally arrived at the ruins surrounding the Shroud facility, Kalros seemed to disappear without warning, leaving a terrifying silence behind her.
“I know we’ve beaten the odds before…” Garrus trailed off as the others finished unloading from the Tomkahs, “But getting to that tower… I don’t know.” The fragile hope they had cultivated on their trek through the ruins began to slowly unwind within his chest as he gazed up at the gigantic machine before them.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ashley muttered while James just shook his head.
“We’re curing the genophage no matter what!” Wrex snapped at them with fervor. “Everything my people will ever be depends on it.”
“Then I hope this idea you were talking about is a good one.” Shepard stated as he stepped up beside them. As Wrex and Eve began outlining their plan to lure Kalros to the Reaper, Garrus felt his eyes growing wider. It was stupid, absolutely insane, harebrained, ridiculous, and-
“Brilliant!” Jane said with a grin that Garrus knew meant trouble.
“We’ve discussed it, and we believe it to be the best course of action.” Maelon began before looking over at Mordin, who nodded as he brought a hand up to stroke his chin.
“Just need to distract Reaper, draw it from tower while cure synthesized, released.”
“Kalros will come.” Lilith stated with certainty. “This is her home as much as it is ours, and the Reapers will bring death and destruction down upon us all.” Shepard’s smile was grim as he nodded his understanding.
“We flew through the Omega 4 relay and survived. We can do this.”
“That’s the spirit.” Jane replied as she slapped her brother’s back, before turning toward the females with sudden realization. “Ah, I almost forgot! I don’t want anything to happen to this, so I’ll give it to one of you.” She reached into her belt pouch. “We found it in the ruins, but I think it belongs to you, if you want it.” She held out the small krogan statuette to Eve and Lilith, and what could be seen of their expressions appeared shocked. Lilith reached out to carefully take the artifact, cradling it reverently in her palms.
“Spectre Shepard… This is… I’ve never seen one in such good condition. Thank you.” She looked up earnestly, her eyes more expressive than any krogan Garrus had ever met. “You have been a friend to the krogan, and we shall not forget it.”
“It’s the least I could do.” Jane replied softly, and it was clear they spoke of more than just the statuette. Garrus realized that Lilith and Eve possibly owed their lives to Jane’s initial intervention on Sur’kesh, and thus the genophage cure.
They began discussing the details of the maw hammers, but as they came to the topic of the lab, Shepard seemed to steel himself before turning to Mordin.
“One last thing you should know beforehand.” He glanced toward Wrex and the other krogan before looking back at the salarians. “The dalatrass tried to cut a secret deal with me.”
“What kind of deal?” Wrex asked sharply, a hint of fear in his voice, and Shepard looked toward the tower above him.
“She said they sabotaged the Shroud years ago. The cure won’t work unless we fix it.” He pulled up his omni-tool and played an audio clip, the voice instantly recognizable as the dalatrass’. Garrus realized with a start that it must be a recording of the call Shepard had received just before their departure from the Normandy. It explained why he’d seemed so distracted, but also opened up a whole host of new and troubling questions.
Wrex quickly sneered with words of disdain for the salarians, and both Maelon and Mordin chimed in to reassure everyone that they would be able to fix whatever problem they encountered. Eve turned to Shepard with considering eyes.
“You just spared our race another genocide, Commander.” She murmured softly, and Wrex nodded his head emphatically.
“I told you we could count on him.” He stated with firm confidence, but Garrus noticed a slight tightening of Shepard’s eyes, his brows drawing in ever so slightly. Glancing over at Jane, he saw that she also seemed to be looking at her brother with consideration.
“Well, we know why we’re here and what’s at stake,” Shepard began as he turned toward the Shroud, “so let’s make it happen.” There was a series of affirmatives as they all squared themselves for the fight before them. Wrex caught Shepard quickly, offering him a handshake and assurances of his gratitude on behalf of the krogan people.
As they finally parted ways with the krogan and salarains, Wrex holding off a contingent of Reaper rachni while everyone else ran, Shepard began leading his team toward the first maw hammer. But they hadn’t done more than climb up a level when Jane quickly pulled Shepard aside from the rest of the team.
“You’ve known about the sabotage since we arrived on Tuchanka.” She stated quietly, and Shepard nodded with a sigh. “But you’re only just now telling us. What was the dalatrass’ deal that she offered?” He gave her a pained look as though she was forcibly yanking the information from him.
“She offered salarian support for the Crucible project if I prevented Mordin and Maelon from discovering and fixing the STG’s sabotage of the Shroud.”
“And you considered taking the deal, that’s why you waited so long to bring it up.” It wasn’t a question, the words hanging heavily between them. Shepard’s silence was answer enough, and Jane stepped back as she ran a hand through her hair. “Good god, John. What’s gotten into you? I never would have expected that from you.”
“I know, I know. It seems awful in retrospect, I just-” He cut off as he brought his hands up to scrub at his face. Garrus glanced around, ensuring the others were too far to overhear. The rest of the team was a little ways off, double checking their weapons and eyeing the Shepards curiously, though probably too far to hear anything.
“I don’t know, Jane.” Shepard continued as his hands dropped to his sides. “This whole goddamn war, I just… I don’t know. It’s taking a toll on me, I think. I don’t know who I can trust anymore. It has me doubting my allies and trusting those I know I shouldn’t. But everything we saw, the ancient city, what you said about the krogan and the future, it made me realize how stupid I was being.” He turned to look at Jane again, who was gazing at him with an expression Garrus couldn’t recognize. It was certainly concerned, and if Garrus didn’t know better, he’d say she almost looked scared.
“John…” She trailed off, but after a moment, she brought a hand up to rest on his arm. “I’m glad you came around and did the right thing. But it’s not like you to doubt them. You always see the best in everyone. I’m usually the cynical asshole. Since when did we trade places?” She smiled, but it was tight and forced as though she were trying and failing to lighten the mood. Shepard returned the forced smile and shook his head.
“Let’s talk more about this later, this isn’t the time or place. They’re counting on us to lure in Kalros and we need to get moving. Everyone’s waiting.”
“Yeah, okay. You’re right. Let’s go.” They both turned around, and Garrus nodded to them from where he stood nearby.
“Ready, guys?” He asked as the both drew their weapons.
“Ready as we’ll ever be to face the mother of all thresher maws.” Jane replied with a grin that seemed more herself as she checked her heat sink. “Let’s go save the krogan.”
But as Shepard took the lead, Garrus noticed the concerned crease return between Jane’s eyebrows.
Seeing a giant thresher maw take out a Reaper was one of the most beautiful and bizarre sights of Garrus’ life. In hindsight, he wished that he’d recorded it. But at the time, he’d been unable to do anything but watch in awe as Kalros wrapped her body around the awful machine, pulling it down into the abyss below.
“Okay,” Shepard turned toward the tower looming above them, their path finally clear, “Garrus, Jane, with me. The rest of you, find Wrex and his troops, make sure our retreat is clear.”
They quickly made their way through the facility toward the main central tower, arriving in the central courtyard at the same time as Mordin and Maelon.
“Mordin! Is the cure ready?” Shepard called out as they hurried toward where the salarians stood at a nearby console. Maelon looked up quickly and nodded.
“Yes, everything is ready to go. The cure is loaded up and will be dispersed in two minutes.” He stated quickly before returning his focus to the console before him.
“What about the females? Are they okay?” Jane asked as she caught up, and Mordin nodded as he quickly glanced at her.
“Yes. Procedure stressful, but easier than expected. Months of preparations. Maelon’s assistance, invaluable.” The younger salarian looked up, his eyes wide and surprised at the compliment.
“Really?” Maelon asked, his voice small and unsteady, and Mordin nodded again, his attention not leaving the console before him.
“Yes. Highly likely both females would have suffered or died without assistance.”
“So, they’re safe?” Shepard cut in, and both salarians nodded.
“Yes, they’re both heading back to the trucks.” Maelon replied as he pulled up a display, his eyes flicking quickly as he took in the data.
“Eve’s survival fortunate. Will stabilize new government should Wrex get any ideas. Good match, promising future for krogan. Lilith, too, very promising. Perhaps diplomatic potential.” As Mordin explained, Garrus noticed bits of burning debris and looked up.
“Watch out!” He yelled and raised a hand to block his face as a huge chunk of flaming metal landed just across the courtyard from them.
“Damn it!” Shepard exclaimed, grabbing Jane and tugging her away as she, too, brought her arms up over her head. Mordin pushed back from the console before him with another curt nod, despite the fire raining down around them.
“Control room at top of Shroud tower. Must take elevator up.” He stated simply with a flick of his hand upwards. Garrus blinked, his mandibles falling limp in his shock.
“You’re going up there?” He asked sharply, and Mordin smiled grimly.
“Yes.” He turned to face them as he pulled up his omni-tool. “Manual access required. Have to counteract STG sabotage. Ensure cure dispersed properly.” Garrus looked back up at the burning tower as dread settled in his bones. Another explosion rocked the tower, more debris falling to the ground.
It would be a one way trip. There was no way around it.
“Mordin, this whole thing is coming apart. There’s got to be another way!” Shepard called out over the sound of additional explosions.
“Remote bypass impossible.” Mordin began as he turned to look up at the burning tower. “STG countermeasures in place. No time to adjust cure for temperature variance.” He paused as he looked down at the ground before him. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to steel himself before continuing. “No. No other option. Not coming back. Suggest you get clear. Explosions likely to be… problematic.” He looked back at them with one last smile before turning and walking confidently toward the elevator.
“Mordin, wait!” Jane darted forward to reach for his arm, causing him to stop and look back. “Is there no other way?”
“Please. Need to do this.” Mordin stated gently as he pulled from her grasp and stepped toward the elevator. Pausing, he glanced back before adding sadly, “Would have liked to run tests on the seashells.”
“Wait.” Everyone turned to see Maelon step forward. “Let me be the one to go.”
“No.” Mordin snapped, looking up as his face hardened. “My project, my work, my cure. My responsibility. Has to be me.”
“ Our project. Our responsibility.” Maelon came to stand before Mordin, his eyes wide and beseeching. “Let me atone for the lives I took, for the cruelty I enacted upon others in the name of science.”
“Already have atoned! Work on cure more than enough. Sacrifice unnecessary!”
“Perhaps. But my death means nothing in comparison to yours. If you live, then the krogan are in the best possible hands if something goes wrong with the cure.” Maelon retorted calmly as Mordin’s face pinched with frustration.
“But STG sabotage! Must counteract, must be me. Someone else might get it wrong.” Maelon shook his head at Mordin’s words.
“I’m perfectly capable of handling that, as you well know. Eve and the others need you, Mordin. More than they need me.” Maelon sighed morosely before continuing. “Just let me do this. Please.”
The two salarians stared each other down in tense silence broken only by the continued explosions overhead.
“Fine.” Mordin relented as his shoulders fell. Maelon shut his eyes as he released a breath he’d been holding, visibly relaxing. They both extended their hands, grasping each other’s wrists in a firm shake. Releasing each other, they stepped apart and Maelon turned to step forward into the elevator. Mordin began running through suggestions at rapid fire for what Maelon was likely to encounter when he arrived at the control room, but all the other man did was smile and nod as the door closed.
“Good bye, Maelon.” Jane sighed. “Thank you. For everything.”
“Thank you , Spectre Shepard. Without you, I never would have had the chance to redeem myself.” With that, the elevator shot upwards, carrying the salarian out of sight. Mordin stood there, unmoving as he watched the elevator. He took a deep breath before turning to face them.
“Suggest we hurry. Remaining unadvisable.” With that, he started forward toward the doorway they’d entered from.
“You heard the man! Let’s move!” Shepard instructed, and both Garrus and Jane fell in step with him. As they made for the door, Garrus chanced one last look back at the elevator as it shot toward the top of the tower. He hadn’t known Maelon long, and even their shared time spent aboard the Normandy hadn’t allowed him a chance to get to know the younger salarian. Regardless, he felt a stab of sadness over his sacrifice. It was a death any turian would have been proud of, not dissimilar to that of Victus’ son.
Turning back to follow the others, Garrus growled a curse under his breath. The Reapers had a lot to answer for.
The moment they exited the Shroud facility, they were hit by a sudden shockwave. Looking up, they were just in time to witness the burst released from the very top of the tower before a shimmering mist began to settle. In awe, they watched the particles slowly begin to fall to Tuchanka’s barren soil, holding out their hands as it drifted about them.
Mordin smiled gently as he looked back toward the crumbling tower. “Genophage cured, krogan free. New beginning… for all of us.” He took a deep breath and looked away as another explosion rocked the structure. “Thank you, Maelon.”
“This isn’t going to make us sick or anything, right?” Jane muttered as she shook a speck off her hand, and Shepard rolled his eyes fondly.
“No, of course not.” Mordin quipped as he looked up toward the approaching tomkahs. “Harmless for other species.” He began explaining in greater detail, but Garrus tuned it out as the trucks came to a stop before them. Wrex was the first to disembark, followed by the females and the other krogan, and finally the rest of Shepard’s ground squad.
Everyone’s eyes were on the glowing, shimmering motes being spewed up into the air by the Shroud, mouths hanging open at the awe inspiring sight. Even Javik had the decency to look impressed.
“ Truly remarkable. ” EDI breathed, the motes shining and reflecting against her metallic body as they swirled around them.
“You can say that again.” James muttered in agreement.
“I never thought I’d see the day the genophage was cured. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I might not have believed it.” Kaidan whispered, Ashley nodding mutely beside him.
Wrex gazed about with wide eyes, opening his mouth to speak. But after a moment he snapped his mouth shut again, seemingly without words as he looked up into the sky.
“Never thought I’d live to see Wrex speechless.” Garrus chuckled, but the clan chief ignored him as he stepped forward to bask in the sight of the cure being dispersed into the atmosphere.
“Come on, we need to get back.” Shepard stated as he stepped forward to grip Wrex’s shoulder. But as they turned back toward the tomkahs, the ground began to shake violently, nearly throwing them to the ground. “Get to the trucks! It’s Kalros!”
“Looks like she didn’t fill up on Reaper!” Wrex bellowed as they all made for the trucks. But just as he reached the door hatch, the ground nearby undulated before swelling upwards, engulfing the first tomkah. “Whoa there!” He stumbled backwards as a giant limb reached up out of the ground, pulling the tomkah down with it.
“Holy shit!” James exclaimed as they all scrambled back, the tomkah vanishing beneath the sand.
“We need to get out of here!” Jane yelled as the spines of Kalros’ gigantic body breached up not far away. They all started hurrying toward the remaining truck as the thresher maw dipped back below ground. “She’s coming back around for another pass!”
One by one they climbed aboard, but just as Eve climbed up into the truck, a screech sounded across the expanse, echoing against the facility walls. Everything seemed to go still and unnaturally silent and Garrus swiveled around as he frantically scanned for signs of the beast.
“Get down!” Shepard screamed just as Kalros burst out of the ground, the stolen tomkah clutched in its tentacled mouth. Everyone not yet within the remaining vehicle dove for cover as Kalros threw its head back and launched the truck toward them in a flurry of acid and sand.
All except Lilith. Worn down by the procedure, exhausted by the rigors of battle, the younger krogan female limped as she hurried to cover, but not fast enough.
“Goddamn it!” Jane cried out as she launched herself at the krogan, toppling them both to the ground to roll away just as the vehicle landed hard, acid hissing as it spattered the sand in its wake. A blood curdling scream rent the air, and Garrus’ heart seized at the sound.
“ Jane !”
Notes:
Thank you, everyone! Hope you're all enjoying it so far, and we're getting dangerously close to halfway through part 3. We have a lot of action coming up in the next few chapters, so hang on! I love and appreciate you all, and always welcome thoughts, comments, and suggestions.
Chapter 63: Part 3: Chapter 10
Summary:
In which Garrus has distasteful flashbacks and a good deal of anxiety.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 10
Tuchanka
“ Jane !” Garrus darted out of cover as the ground shook and spotted her where she lay on the ground, writhing as Lilith kneeled before her helplessly.
“It’s the thresher acid!” The krogan exclaimed, but Garrus didn’t need the explanation. Jane’s right side was hissing, coated in the corrosive acid as it bubbled and ate through her armored hard suit. She screamed again, her back arching as she thrust her head back, her eyes clenched shut with the intense pain.
“Spirits!” Garrus hissed, bile welling in his throat as realization and panic began to set in – he had no idea what to do.
“We need to get her to the tomkah!” Lilith insisted just as Shepard skidded to a stop on Jane’s other side. With as much care as they could afford, they picked her up and ran for the truck. They piled in through the hatch as the ground began shaking again.
“Get us the hell outta here!” Shepard barked as he locked the hatch behind himself, and the tomkah lurched forward as Kalros let loose another ear shattering shriek. It was tightly packed with barely enough space for everyone, but they squished together to make space as Garrus laid Jane down on the floor.
“Here, use this to wash her.” Eve handed over a huge canister of water, removing the cap. She nearly spilled some as the truck lurched to the side as they evaded another attack by the gigantic thresher maw. Mordin shoved past people to kneel beside Jane as she groaned through clenched teeth, sweat prickling her brow.
“Hurry, maw acid very corrosive, eats through armor in matter of minutes.” The salarian doctor instructed as together they began pouring the water over the extensive burns. Jane screamed as the water made contact, the acid having eaten through to her skin in more than one place. Garrus couldn’t do more than secure her head as she thrashed in pain.
“You're going to be alright, Jane.” He leaned down to whisper to her, though he had no idea if she was hearing him from where she was wrapped in a haze of agony, her face a rictus of pain. Shepard was holding her uninjured hand, her grip on his fingers enough to crush them as the tomkah was bounced around.
Garrus hated feeling helpless, but there was nothing he could do but offer her what support he was able as Mordin quickly set about moving the damaged sections of her armor, muttering to himself. Frustratingly, he was put in mind of their mission to catch Morinth, and he shuddered at the thought. He stroked Jane’ cheek gently and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear as he continued whispering encouragements to her, glancing up as Mordin began applying medi-gel to sooth away what pain he could. She finally seemed to relax a little as the ointment began working its magic, enough for her to open her eyes blearily.
“Garrus?” She asked groggily, her voice hoarse, and he nodded.
“Hang in there, we’ll get you back to Normandy and you’ll be right as rain in no time. Chakwas and Mordin will make everything better, you’ll see.”
Their departure from Tuchanka was rushed as they carefully began transferring Jane to the shuttle under Mordin’s watchful eye. They said their goodbyes to the krogan, all of whom still seemed to be in shock at the success of their mission to disperse the cure.
Shepard had received their grateful thanks as well as assurances that they would be sending reinforcements to Palaven right away. He thanked them in turn before returning his focus to getting his sister back to the Normandy as quickly as possible. They got her onto a stretcher, still somewhat delirious from the pain, and firmly secured before the door closed.
As soon as the door opened onto the Normandy’s shuttle bay floor, Shepard quickly cleared the path for Jane to be hurried to the med bay, where they were greeted by an already prepped and waiting Dr. Chakwas. Mordin hurried in with them, while Garrus, Shepard, and the others were expectedly told to wait outside.
Garrus watched helplessly while Jane screamed in pain as they carefully transferred her onto one of the beds. A moment later, the EDI shuttered the windows, leaving nothing to see but a cloudy haze. Turning away, he began to restlessly pace through the mess hall, his dirty armored boots clanking on the metal floor in rhythm with Shepard’s vibrating knee a few yards off.
He wasn’t sure how long he paced, all he could think of was the horrible, oozing, red burns that had been visible as Mordin had begun removing sections of Jane’s armor and undersuit. In addition to her entire right arm, a good deal of that side of her torso had seemed affected, with some catching her right hip and leg. There had even been a few splatters up her neck and across her cheek, though those had seemed somewhat small and superficial once they’d gotten it all washed off of her.
The damage had been extensive, that was for sure. But he reminded himself that Jane was strong and her vitals had been stable.
Jane is strong and her vitals are stable. Jane is strong and her vitals are stable. Jane is strong and her vitals are stable…
The words played like a mantra over and over in his head as he paced back and forth. Shepard came and went periodically, trying and failing to focus on the work at hand as he watched the shuttered windows with the same desperation that Garrus felt. Liara did her best to assist with the necessary reports, but Garrus barely noticed the coming and goings of others as he paced. At some point, Shepard ordered him to go clean himself up at the very least, which he agreed was probably for the best. As soon as he was showered and dressed, however, he found himself right back in the mess hall, pacing the same line in the floor.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard a door open, but it wasn’t until he heard Shepard speak that Garrus whipped around to see Chakwas standing before them with an empty mug, thoroughly exhausted.
“How’s Jane? Is she going to be okay?” Shepard asked suddenly, and even though she nodded, her expression remained troubled.
“She’ll live. The damage was quite extensive on her right side, though, and there is only so much Dr. Solus and I could do with the equipment onboard. She’s going to need specialized treatment on the Citadel as soon as possible if she’s to recover full functionality.”
“I understand.” Shepard nodded before looking up toward the ceiling. “EDI, tell Joker to set a course for the Citadel ASAP. I want us there immediately, if not sooner.”
“ Of course, Shepard.”
“Is she awake? Are we allowed to see her?” Garrus asked with trepidation. This wasn’t the first time he waited anxiously to visit her in the medbay and he hated admitting that it probably wouldn’t be the last. Regardless, he tried not to shudder as Morinth came floating into his memory again.
“Yes, she is awake, though she is supposed to be resting.” Chakwas warned as the two men hurried past her and into the medbay. As they stepped into the brightly lit room, they noticed Jane smiling tiredly at them from where she lay, a good deal of her body wrapped in bandaging. Mordin nodded to them from where he stood nearby as he flicked his finger across the display of a datapad.
“Hey, guys.” She muttered, wincing as she shifted. “We’ve gotta stop meeting like this.” Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle at her laidback attempt at humor, but he could see Shepard’s eyebrows drawn down in frustration.
“Jane, I swear to god, you must have a deathwish or something.” He growled as his eyes swept over her bandaged body. His expression soften as he examined the fresh scarring visible on her cheek and neck where it peeked out from under the dressing.
“Well, nice to see you, too.” She rolled her eyes, but she smiled as Shepard sat down beside her.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” He muttered as he smiled back at her. “Lilith probably owes you her life.” Jane tried to shrug, but gasped in pain as she settled back down. Garrus came around to her other side and bent down to nuzzle her good cheek lightly.
“How are you feeling?” He asked as she shifted slightly, her uninjured hand coming up to take his.
“I feel fine, unless I move. Then I feel like I’ve been flayed alive.” She chuckled before wincing slightly, and Garrus tried not to frown as worries set in.
“Not that this isn’t a bad one, but I feel like we’ve dealt with worse on the Normandy in the past.” Shepard stated he looked up at the scarred side of Garrus’ face before turning to look at Mordin. “What is it about her injuries that we can’t handle? Why does she need to be taken to the Citadel?”
“Thresher maw acid, very strong. Enzymes and chemical makeup, very difficult to treat. Kalros’ acid, particularly powerful. Nerve damage and extensive scarring more than we’re able to handle aboard Normandy with wartime ration of medical supplies. Need specialized equipment, medication,” He paused and looked at Jane before taking a big breath. “Time to heal.”
“I see.” Shepard murmured as he nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll be there in no time, and we’ll get you the care you need, Jane.”
When they finally got her transferred to Huerta Memorial Hospital, it was clear that the Citadel was starting to feel the weight of the galactic war against the Reapers. The hospital was so overrun with the injured that they weren’t immediately able to secure a bed for Jane, even with Shepard’s political pull.
Mordin pulled out his omni-tool and scanned her wounds where she sat in a wheelchair in the lobby before muttering to himself as Shepard came back from discussing the situation with Dr. Michel. “We should be able to get you a bed pretty soon, but I don’t know if soon means a few hours or a few days. Everything is a little crazy here right now, it seems.”
Jane glowered as she looked down at her bandages with evident frustration. “How long until I’m functioning again once I get the treatment that I need?” She looked up toward Mordin, who lifted a finger to his chin in consideration. He began rattling off a bunch of medical nonsense before pausing and looking back down at her.
“Hard to say, depends. Will discuss treatment plan with specialists upon admission. Possibly a week, maybe two. Could be more.” Jane’s lips pursed as she leaned her head back, her face pinched in tightly reigned anger as she gazed up at the ceiling high above them.
“That’s too long. You guys can’t just sit around on your hands for some unknown amount of time while I heal up.”
“Don’t worry about it, Jane. We’re not leaving you behind.” Garrus stated firmly, to which Shepard nodded curtly.
It was another two days until they were able to secure a bed for her and Mordin was able to begin drawing up a treatment plan for the burn and nerve damage. Garrus split his time staying with her and helping out with the turian refugee camps, but on the occasions he ran into Shepard, he could see he was becoming more and more stressed. Jane would soon be improving, but not as quickly as they’d hoped.
About a week into her treatment, Garrus was in her room as she was doing physical therapy, her arm stiff as she attempted to pick up a light weight.
“My fucking fingers don’t want to do what they’re supposed to do.” Jane growled as she struggled to keep her fingers curled. He could see them spasm suddenly, and she dropped the weight back onto the bed beside her. “And now I’m struggling with my old issues, too, because fuck me , I guess.” She spat with a sneer down at her hand. Garrus thought back to those weeks following her encounter with the Ardat-Yakshi, and sighed.
“You got through that, and you’ll get through this. I don’t know anyone as strong as you are.” Garrus placed his hand on her uninjured leg, and she turned a tired smile on him.
“Thanks. Glad I have you here with me.” Something in her smile shifted, a sad upturn to her eyebrows that left her looking somber. The door opened suddenly, and they both looked up to see Shepard step through the door, a tense look on his face. “John, what’s wrong?”
The Commander stood there for a moment, silently watching his sister from his spot just inside the doorway. His shoulders seemed to fall slightly before he stepped further into the room.
“I just heard from Hackett. Cerberus has been on the move.” Jane tensed at his words, suddenly alert.
“What are they up to?”
“They’ve made moves in a few different systems, none of it good. Hackett has asked me to investigate, to intervene if I can.” He explained carefully, his eyes scanning her face carefully. She went stock still, processing his words. The realization hit Garrus a moment later.
“ When ?” He asked quietly, and Shepard’s eyes flicked to him quickly before returning to Jane. After a moment, he answered.
“He wants me to head out as soon as possible, and I think he might be right.” He paused before continuing. “Jane, will you be alright remaining here while we investigate?” Garrus held his tongue, but struggled against the indignation welling up in his chest. How could he ask her that after they had promised they wouldn’t leave her behind?
Jane stared at her brother silently, her eyes narrowing. Garrus was put in mind of her stories of their childhood on the streets of Earth. He had to imagine it was a sore topic, she didn’t particularly enjoy talking about the period after Shepard had joined the military, her time spent on Earth alone. How could Shepard even suggest -
“Okay.” Garrus’ eyes shot back to Jane, wide in shock at her sudden answer. “But you’d better come back for me as soon as I’m fit to serve again.” She continued, a sharp edge to her voice. Shepard opened his mouth to agree, but she held up a hand. “And, I have a mission in the Caleston Rift that I’m going to need a hand with after you pick me up. I need to find a missing researcher, Dr. Garneau, on a mining asteroid there.”
The two siblings stared each other down, the air tense as Shepard considered the request. Finally, he nodded, seeming to relax. “Okay. We can make that happen. I’ll need more details when the time comes, though.”
“Of course.” Jane agreed, her face still hard. Garrus looked down to see her white knuckled fist gripping the bed sheet. He reached over to carefully place his hand atop hers.
“I’ll stay here with you, you won’t be alone.” He stated, but she shook her head as she turned a crooked smile on him.
“No, it’s okay Garrus. You said it yourself, I can do this. You go with John and watch his six. He needs you to watch his back and drag his ass back here in one piece since I can’t. I’ll be okay.” He frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but she cut in over him. “I’ve got Mordin here to keep me company whether I like it or not. Plus, Thane is just down the hall in case I’m feeling philosophical.” Garrus’s teeth clicked as he shut his mouth, his mandibles flicking in irritation.
“I don’t like leaving you behind.” He growled, but she only chuckled, her voice low as she shook her head.
“I’ll be okay, Garrus. Keep John safe for me. And don’t worry, the Citadel is probably the safest place for me at this point.”
The Normandy felt empty without her. He felt empty without her. Garrus never seemed to realize what a huge part of his life Jane was until she was gone. Everything was a shade dimmer without her. She had added a sparkle to every conversation, to every interaction, to every situation. Without Jane Shepard on the Normandy, it was a duller, less vibrant place.
And it wasn’t just him. Every one of the ground team seemed hesitant about leaving her behind in Heutra as they pulled away from the Citadel, except perhaps Javik. He was hard to read. But in the end, it was Shepard’s call to make, and he’d made it.
As Garrus stood at one of the consoles in the war room, he struggled to focus as he looked over the data pouring in from the turian forces being amassed to support the building of the crucible. He couldn’t shake his last conversation with Jane before he’d left to return to the Normandy.
She’d waited until they were alone and pulled him in for a tight hug, but instead of simply holding him, she leaned in close to whisper urgently in his ear.
“ Keep a close eye on John. He hasn’t been himself, and I can’t tell if it’s just the toll the war is taking on him, lack of sleep, or…"
She'd paused, hesitating before adding, "Garrus, I don’t know what to think.”
She’d leaned her forehead down against his neck and he’d pulled her closer, savoring the feeling, memorizing the shape of her in his arms. After a heartbeat, she continued.
“ Back in the Bahak system, on that asteroid… He spent days unconscious in that base. They’d all been indoctrinated by that unshielded Reaper device. What if…”
She had trailed off, the overwhelming anxiety and worry evident in her voice. Neither of them had let go, holding onto each other like a lifeline in a storm.
“ What if… what if he’s been…” She hadn’t seemed able to get the word out, but he understood as his stomach seemed to turn to ice. “ Garrus, keep a close eye on him. Tell me if you notice anything out of the ordinary. We can’t afford to let them have him. Not him. We’re all dead without John.”
“Garrus.” His head shot up and he looked around to see Shepard looking at him from a console nearby. He tried to keep his face neutral, but all he could think about was the word Jane couldn’t bring herself to say.
Indoctrinated.
“Need me for something, Shepard?” Garrus asked quickly as he shook his head in an attempt to dislodge the creeping worry in his veins.
“Yeah, can you get me the final number on the ships Victus can spare for the Crucible project? I need to send word to Hackett as soon as I can.”
“Of course, I’ll send you what information I have so far.” Before Garrus returned his attention to his console again, he took a moment to really look at the Commander. He was just as pale and worn as he had been the past few weeks, the bags under his eyes seeming more pronounced than ever. The frown he wore seemed a permanent fixture these days, especially since Jane’s injuries on Tuchanka. “You look exhausted, Shepard. Why don’t you go get some rest?”
Shepard didn’t even look up from his console. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” He grunted as his fingers continued typing. Garrus would have laughed if it’d been in any way funny. He remembered the exact same words coming out of Jane’s mouth just a few months back.
“We both know you need a clear head to win a war. There’s no room for mistakes here.” Garrus pointed out gently as he walked over and lifted a hand to place on the other man’s shoulder. He could feel Shepard sag a little as he sighed, and he pushed his advantage. “You should get some shut-eye.” After a pause, he continued in a teasing tone with a toss of his head, “I’ll make sure Joker doens’t launch any suicide missions.”
Shepard remained where he was for a moment before finally pushing back from the console. “Anything happens, you let me know.”
Garrus breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. As Shepard left the room in the direction of the CIC, Garrus let himself relax slight. Jane’s worries had to be unfounded. The Commander just needed some sleep, that was all. They had to be unfounded. They just had to be, or else they were all doomed.
Noveria was just as cold as it had been the last time they’d be there, and Garrus hated every second of it. Not only was he shivering the entire mission, but fighting without Jane at his back made him feel naked, exposed.
This was the third Cerberus base they’d hit in the past two weeks, this one being a key strategic location in the sector. They’d managed to sneak in the back and decimate their defenses. As they waited for Cortez to bring the shuttle around for a pick up, Garrus noticed Shepard frown as he kicked aside a chunk of smoking mechanical debris.
“What’s on your mind, Shepard?”
“It’s… probably nothing.” He looked around the base, the cold, biting wind catching them suddenly. “It’s just odd. I expected them to put up more of a fight. This was a key base, I figured it would have been better defended. But there was hardly anyone here.”
He had a point. Cerberus usually put up a bigger fight, and taking this base shouldn’t have been this easy. But then again, perhaps Cerberus was just stretching themselves too thin. They seemed to be everywhere all at once, and perhaps this was part of the consequences.
After they got back to the Normandy and had washed up, both Shepard and Garrus made their way back to the war room. As they began working through their backlog of messages, Garrus’ eyes widened in pleasant surprise.
He opened the message from Jane, which he saw had been sent to Shepard as well, and read through it quickly. Looking up, he noticed the Commander’s pleased smile.
“Looks like Jane’s ready and eager to get back in the fight." Shepard chuckled. "Says she’s ordered a new hardsuit and everything. What do you think about swinging back to the Citadel before the next mission? Pick up my prodigal sister?” Garrus laughed, his chest feeling lighter and freer than it had since before Tuchanka. He could see a lessening of the ever present tension in Shepard’s face, and knew that he’d be just as relieved to have Jane back as he was.
“Well, you certainly don’t need to twist my arm.” Garrus replied with a smile.
The lightness in his chest seemed to put a spring in his step the following days as they made their way back to the Citadel. Everyone seemed happy that they were going to be returning to pick Jane up, or perhaps Garrus’ elation just gave him a pair of rose colored glasses. Shepard teased him about his ever present smile relentlessly, despite the return of the crease of worry between his own brows.
“Okay, here’s one I don’t think you’ve heard.” Garrus smirked down at Joker as they finally began their approach toward the Citadel. “Why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?” He asked as he raised a brow plate at the pilot before him. They’d been trading humans and turian jokes for a little while to pass the time, each more offensive than the last.
“You’re shitting me. The turian military has one about me ?” Joker asked incredulously as he twisted in his seat to look up at Garrus where he stood nearby.
“Oh, absolutely! ” Garrus grinned as he crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one side. “I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.”
“All right, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?” Joker raised a brow at him in challenge, and Garrus struggled against the smugness in his voice.
“So their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.”
Joker snorted, “Daaaamn, you need to tell James that one.” They shared a laugh, both imagining the other man’s indignation. There was a laugh from behind them, and Garrus turned to see Shepard behind him.
“That one was probably my favorite so far,” The Commander chuckled, “Mostly because I know how often Jane wiped the floor with your face, Garrus.” Garrus opened his mouth to retort, but Joker cut in.
“Speaking of your face… What’s the hardest part about treating a turian that took a rocket to one side of his face?” Garrus rolled his eyes good naturedly, fighting the smile as he remembered the last time he’d heard that one.
“Figuring out which side took the rocket. Come on, I know for a fact that Jane’s the one that came up with that one, it’s old news.”
They all laughed and continued to toss banter about for a few minutes, but Shepard seemed to slowly sink back into his own internal musings. Soon, Joker began the docking procedures, contacting the Alliance tower to request clearance.
“Everything okay, Shepard?” Garrus asked quietly, and the other man looked at him before nodding.
“Yeah. I was just thinking about a call I got a little while ago from the salarian councilor, Valern, about Udina. He suspects he’s been moving massive amounts of money around under the table, and it has me worried.” He cut off as he looked toward Joker, his brows drawing down in confusion. “What’s wrong, Joker?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not getting a response from any Alliance operators at the docks.” He tried again, and again got no response. “What the hell’s going on down there? Even if there was a station malfunction, they’d have backups online.” Joker shook his head before glancing back at the both of them and voicing Garrus’ thoughts aloud. “I got a bad feeling here. Checking emergency channels.”
As Joker flicked through the holo controls, Garrus looked at Shepard, whose face was pinched with concern. The Commander caught his eye with a frown. They shared a silent moment of worry before Joker turned in his seat to look back at them.
“Commander, I’ve got Mordin on the line. He says it’s important. Think you’ll want to hear this.” There was an edge to his voice that immediately set them both further on edge, the vestiges of lightheartedness of moments ago vanishing without a trace.
“Put him through.”
“ Shepard, wonderful timing. ” Mordin’s voice came through the speakers, clipped as usual, but with a heightened urgency that was alarming. “Citadel under attack, Cerberus taken control of docks, troops sweeping station. ” Shepard’s eyes widened and Garrus’ heart leapt into his throat.
“Is Jane okay? Is the hospital safe? Where are you?” Shepard asked hurriedly, and Garrus stepped forward to grip Joker's chair as he peered through the window before them as the Citadel rolled into view.
“ Jane escaped, disappeared as soon as Commandos arrived at hospital. Odd place to target, likely hunting particular individuals. Taken cover on Presidium with Thane, heading to C-Sec headquarters, but unsure of Jane's current location.”
“Why C-Sec headquarters?” Garrus asked sharply, narrowing his eyes in consideration. There were a number of strategic advantages to holding headquarters, but-
“ Cerberus currently holds main C-Sec facilities, problematic. Plan to assist in retaking, backup would be preferable.”
“All right, Joker,” Shepard turned and started out of the cockpit, Garrus hot on his heels, “get us away from the docks and close to C-Sec HQ. We’ll deploy in the shuttle.”
“Aye-aye, Commander.”
“Jane will be fine.” Garrus muttered, suddenly unsure if he was speaking to himself or Shepard. “She’s more than capable of taking care of herself, probably while taking out a battalion of Cerberus troopers in the meanwhile.”
“I know.” Was Shepard’s only response, his pace only picking up as they neared the elevators.
“This answers the question of why the Cerberus bases were running skeleton crews, I suppose.” Garrus growled before ducking out of cover to take a shot. The Cerberus soldier fell back in a spray of dark blood, darker than he was used to seeing from humans. He shuddered in disgust at the implications.
It was hard not to feel an anxious nausea as they fought through the Lot 9 Shuttle Hangar at the C-Sec HQ. He’d worked here for years, it had been nearly his second home. His friends had all worked here, it had been a place of stability and safety.
But now… Now it was a battlefield, chaos erupting around him as he stepped through puddles of blood in a variety of colors.
Garrus wanted to be sick. It was a similar feeling to seeing Reaper forces on Palaven. Similar to knowing that the Collectors had broken into the Normandy and abducted their crew. His old home suddenly felt dirty, defiled. It was surreal to think of this as the same place it had been even a few weeks prior.
He crammed it all down into a box to be set aside for later. Another shot taken, another commando dropped in a bloody heap. He had to focus, he had a purpose.
It was a relief to encounter someone alive who was not wearing Cerberus colors, even if Bailey was bleeding out when they found him. Some hastily applied medigel had the man on his feet again as he helped them break through the lock and into HQ. As they waited, Garrus did what he could to contact Jane, but not for the first time since arriving, he had no luck. Cerberus was jamming damn near every line of communication.
“How bad’s the situation?” He asked as they finally headed through the doors and toward a nearby console. The rest of the ground team trailed behind them, weapons up and ready. “Do you know if the Councilors are alive?”
“It’s impossible to say until I get into the network. I know Councilor Valern had a meeting with the executor today, so it’s possible they’ve been split up.” Bailey limped toward the desk and fell into the chair with a grunt. His attention shifted to the console as he quickly began pulling up displays.
“Why did he have a meeting with the executor?” Shepard asked as he scanned the room carefully. They could hear the far off sounds of gunfire, making it hard to relax.
“Usually it means someone big’s about to be prosecuted. I guess that someone had Cerberus friends.” Bailey mused to himself, but Garrus felt possible pieces to the mystery falling into place.
“Shepard, you mentioned your call with the Councilor regarding Udina…” Garrus paused and shook his head. He had to be getting ahead of himself. “But that’s insane. Does he even have that kind of pull?”
“The person to ask would probably be Councilor Valern himself.” Bailey muttered, but then blinked, his fingers pausing in their typing. “Well hello there… Speak of the devil. There’s a message here from the Councilor here.” He looked up toward the Commander quickly before reading it out. “‘ Be on guard – the likelihood of betrayal from within in is high.’’ Huh. Not a lot to work with, there.”
“If there’s a chance he’s here, then we need to find him. He might have the answers we need. Where do you think he might be?” Shepard asked Bailey, but Garrus jumped in as a thought occurred to him.
“He could still be in the executor’s office. It’s a fairly defensible position.” He stated with a shrug, and Bailey turned to glance at him before nodding his agreement.
“Gottcha.” Shepard called out for his team to follow. Activating his omni-tool, he pulled up the emergency channel again. “You catch all of that, Mordin?”
“ Yes. Thane and I nearing headquarters. Progress slow, Kepral’s Syndrome affecting speed. Will keep you posted.”
As they made their way further into the building, Garrus forced his eyes away from the bullet-pocked walls, the blood spatters, and the vacant eyes of blue clad corpses. Vaguely, he could hear the angry chords thrumming in his subvocals, but he forced himself to focus. These had been his friends, his co-workers, people he’d known, had spent his days with. All dead. It was impossible not to think back to a cold, empty Omega apartment, no one to keep him company but the cold corpses of friends.
So many bodies littered the floors as Shepard’s team fought their way through the building room by room that it soon became hard to ignore. “Entry wounds to the back of the head.” Garrus grit out as he looked down at a bloody mess behind a security desk. “Looks like a surprise, not an execution.” He looked back up at Shepard, who nodded in agreement. “We’ve got hardcore traitors here.” The thought disgusted him further.
“Same as Mars. Cerberus sure likes sleeper agents.” Shepard murmured, his lips twisted, and Ashley tsked angrily behind them.
They made their way up a familiar elevator, one Garrus had used daily for the last few years of his time at C-Sec. He didn’t want to see what his old department looked like, not after what they’d seen so far.
“ Any survivors in there? ” Bailey asked, his tone dull and leaden.
“None yet.” Shepard replied, his voice as gentle as possible given the situation.
“ Damn it. Well, keep looking.”
The elevator opened as they were instantly assaulted with the smell of burned flesh and the flickering of damaged lights. Garrus hurried out and around the corner and he fought down the anxiety building in his chest. Somehow, in his mind he wasn’t just stumbling into his old department, but also a grimey, bloody Omega apartment.
“Ridgefield? Lamont? You alive?” Garrus couldn’t stop himself from calling out. He was met with nothing but echoing silence, the sparking of electrical wires, and the sound of far off alarms. He cursed under his breath. A firm hand landed on his shoulder, and he turned to see Shepard’s steady gaze on him, a comfort as he struggled to reign in his subvocals.
“Hey! You mind not alerting the whole station?” James whispered as he glared at him, but Garrus just rolled his eyes.
“If gunfire doesn’t put them on notice, I sure won’t.” He snorted as he scanned the room. He recognized faces, but none were the friends he was looking for. He took a breath, reminding himself that was a good thing. He desperately wanted to search for them, cursing himself for letting their friendship slide the past few years. If they managed to get out of this, and Ridgefield and Lamont were okay, he vowed to make a bigger effort to keep in touch.
Shaking his head, Garrus refocused himself. They needed to find the Councilor, and as soon as they did that, they could find Jane. He needed to keep his mind on that. There wasn’t time for anything else.
As they finally reached the top of the stairs leading to the executor’s office, they pressed themselves against the wall as Liara prepared to hit the door’s controls, the others ready and waiting behind her. As soon as it was open, they took stock of the situation, noticing the emptiness of the room and the corpses on the floor.
Quickly scanning the bodies, Garrus realized none of them could be the Councilor. Shepard reported in to Bailey as the others swept the room. Moving toward the window overlooking the landing below, Garrus wondered for a moment if Valern had made it out somehow. Something caught his eye, a shimmer in the air down below. His breath caught.
“Jane?” He gasped, narrowing his eyes as he watched for movement. Shepard ran over to stand beside him.
“You saw Jane? Where?” He asked hurriedly, but Garrus shook his head.
“No, I just thought I saw… There!” He pointed down at another shimmer in the air as it sparked. A tactical cloak fizzled and died, but in its spot stood not the human woman he was expecting, but a robed salarian. “It’s the Councilor!”
“Found him. He looks unharmed.” Shepard stated with a nod to Garrus.
“ Get him somewhere safe .” Bailey said, relief in his voice, and Shepard nodded to his team.
“Let’s get down there and get him to safety.” They all started for the door, but another flash of movement caught Garrus’ eye, and he turned back toward the window just in time to see a dark form drop down onto the landing below.
“Shepard! There’s someone else down there with him!” Garrus yelled, watching as an armored man stood to loom before the salarian councilor, who began stumbling backwards in fear. Without hesitation, Garrus brought up the butt of his rifle and smashed it into the window. The glass shattered outwards, sparkling in the light of Shepard’s biotics as the Commander leapt through the window a moment later.
Garrus followed, vaulting over the ledge and down onto the landing below. He hit the ground hard, his hardsuit absorbing some of the shock, his knees struggling not to buckle under the rest.
“Don’t even think about it.” Shepard called out as he leveled his weapon on the partially masked human across the room. Garrus brought his own weapon up as he stood, and nearby he could hear the running feet of the others coming down the stairs.
“Shepard. He’s going to kill us all.” Councilor Valern rasped harshly, his voice urgent and fearful as he brought his hands up. The stranger before him raised a hand to level on the salarian, his palm glowing with a dangerous light. On his chest stood the Cerberus logo.
“That remains to be seen.” Shepard replied curtly as he took a measured, careful step forward. He and the attacker began to slowly circle one another, the Councilor turning on the spot to keep the would-be assassin in his line of sight.
“I mean Udina .” Valern hissed in a whisper just loud enough to reach them. “He’s staging a coup. He’s got the other councilors now, to hand over to Cerberus.” A stab of fear jolted Garrus as he processed the words, and he could see Shepard stiffen slightly before taking another step forward. Behind him, the entirety of his team shifted forward as well, their weapons drawn and ready.
“You can’t take all of us, pal. It’s over.” Shepard stated firmly, followed by murmured agreement from the team.
A slow smile spread across the face of the Cerberus agent, made all the more menacing by their inability to see his eyes behind his mask.
“No,” He growled in a low voice, “now it’s fun .” The energy in his palm glowed brighter, and the Councilor winced as he brought his arm up to protect his face from the impending attack.
A click echoed through the room, a pistol’s safety flicking off.
“Think again, asshole.” came a new voice from behind the agent, causing him to turn. Garrus blinked and questions raced in his mind as he recognized the familiar, smirking face and the Spectre symbol emblazoned upon her shoulder.
Notes:
I'm sorry about all the cliffhangers, almost none of them were planned. It's usually just a convenient place to cut chapters in half when they get too long. But I hope you're all enjoying it, I look forward to feedback one way or another. Thank you to everyone who reads this and had made it this far, and a big thank you to my beta, thelordofdarkreunion (who has a new fic that you should check out if you enjoy crossovers). Hope you're all doing well!
Chapter 64: Part 3: Chapter 11
Summary:
In which Garrus brings a gun to a knife fight.
Notes:
I recently joined Tumblr. If you're interested in connecting there, asking a question, or hearing my thoughts, please find me @serendipitys-teapot! I'll probably be sharing some insights and thoughts as I continue writing this story, as well as thoughts in the future regarding my next WIP, which I'm very excited about! See you there!
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 11
The Citadel
“ Vasir ?” Garrus exclaimed in shock, the image of her bloodied and battered face on Illium leaping to mind. “What are you doing here?”
“My job.” The smirk vanished from the asari’s face as she fired. The assassin ducked at the same time, barely missing the shot as he rolled out of the way. Tela Vasir thrust her fist out, a biotic shockwave exploding outwards and knocking him back.
“Who the hell is that?” Shepard exclaimed as they stumbled backwards.
“She’s an… old friend of Jane’s.” Garrus fumbled over the words as he struggled to dredge up any memory of what had become of Vasir after their fight on Illium. “She’s a Spectre.” He added after a moment.
“I see.” Shepard narrowed his eyes before hurrying forward to usher the salarian councilor into cover. Garrus watched as Vasir and the Cerberus assassin traded blows, the latter drawing a long sword as he crouched down low.
“Who the hell brings a sword to a gunfight?” Vasir spat as she raised her pistol and fired off a series of shots, forcing him to dance backwards. He darted forward, striking like a snake, but she brought up a biotic barrier in time, causing his blade of bounce backwards in a spray of sparks.
Garrus brought his rifle back up and loaded a concussive round. He took aim and fired, catching the assassin hard in the chest and sending him flying backwards, despite his powerful shielding taking most of the damage. The man scrambled to his feet and turned to regard them with increased wariness.
With an angry sneer, he turned suddenly and vaulted over the low wall before disappearing over the edge. Vasir watched him go, seeming to consider running after him. Instead, she holstered her sidearm and strode toward where Shepard stood with the Councilor.
“Are you unhurt?” She asked bluntly as she examined Valern, completely ignoring the rest of them. He nodded as he dusted himself off, and Shepard turned to Garrus with a questioning look.
“What are you doing here, Vasir?” Garrus asked, his voice hard as he vividly remembered the burning sensation of biotics against his throat. “I thought Jane had you arrested and transferred back to stand trial for what you’d done.” Vasir turned to him with an amused smile as she shrugged.
“It’s amazing what can be excused while in the line of duty,” She stated as she raised a brow at him before looking back to the Councilor, “Isn’t that right, sir?” Without waiting for an answer, she pulled up her omni-tool and continued, “Let’s get you to a safehouse before any other freaks with knives show up.”
Vasir roughly grabbed the Councilor under the arm and began directing him toward a side door. After a few steps, she stopped and turned back. “Vakarian.” She called back, causing Garrus to freeze as he checked his heat sink. “If you see Shepard – the other Shepard – Tell her I owe her a rematch sometime!” She grinned, but there was no warmth in it as it failed to reach her eyes. Turning, she led the Councilor away without another word.
“Come on, we’re wasting time here. We need to find Udina and the rest of the council before it’s too late.” Shepard called out as he turned to head down the nearby set of stairs to the shuttle landing. He pulled up short, “Mordin! Thane!”
Garrus came up alongside where Shepard stood to see the two hurrying up the stairs toward them.
“Already begun securing building, I see. Good. Will continue clearing out HQ, assist in recapturing key strategic locations.” Mordin checked his pistol before nodding to Thane.
“Shepard,” Thane muttered as he breathed in deeply, attempting to catch his breath, “We just saw a single Cerberus agent escaping, he looked like he came from up here.”
“Which way did he go?” Shepard asked sharply, and Thane pointed off into the distance.
“He hopped into a waiting skycar and headed off that way. There’s a single c-sec vehicle down below if you need to give chase.”
“ He must be going after the rest of the Council.” Bailey swore over the comm, and Shepard started down the steps at a fast trot.
“Get the word out – Udina’s trying to seize power. I’ve got to get to the councilors.” The team followed him down the steps, and as he reached the single skycar, he turned back to face them. “Garrus, EDI, with me. The rest of you, assist Bailey in securing HQ.” They nodded before splitting up, and Garrus followed as Shepard leapt into the driver’s seat with EDI right behind him.
“ They’re being taken to a shuttle pad on the Presidium. Start driving – I’ll try to raise them on the comm.” Bailey said as the skycar booted up and Shepard guided it out into the open space of the Presidium.
“ It is highly likely that the Cerberus agent that eluded us is already enroute. We should hurry.” EDI murmured as Shepard accelerated. There was a ping from Shepard’s omni-tool. “ Bailey has sent us the Council’s current location, I’ll upload the position to the car’s nav program.”
Looking down at the holo display, Shepard nodded. “Perfect. We’re not far, it shouldn’t take lo-”
There was a jolt as something heavy landed on the skycar’s windshield. Garrus looked up into the smirking face of the partially masked Cerberus agent from before.
“Shit!” Shepard hissed as he struggled to right the skycar. The agent stood as he pulled out his sword. Garrus shifted in his seat and pulled out his pistol. He took aim and fired off a few shots through the windshield as the agent widened his stance, raising his sword to strike. He stepped backward to avoid the shots as they punched through the glass, then he darted toward the back of the vehicle. Garrus could hear the footsteps above them.
“Hold it steady!” He yelled before popping the side door open. Looking down, Garrus could see the ground and water zipping by below him, the force of the wind threatening to rip him out of the skycar. He swallowed before bracing himself and wondered if courage was one of the Normandy spirit’s virtues. He muttered a quick prayer, for whatever good it would do.
Taking a deep breath, he pulled himself out far enough, whipping around to aim his pistol at the man standing upon their skycar’s roof. The agent raised his sword in preparation to thrust it down into the roof, but stopped as he noticed Garrus.
He fired off a burst of shots, but the agent’s hand came up as he activated a powerful barrier. Cursing, Garrus pulled himself out a little further, gripping the skycar tightly. The other man raised his sword up, preparing again to drive it down into the body of the vehicle, but in doing so, he shifted his barrier, and Garrus saw his chance.
Taking quick aim, he pulled the trigger, catching the man’s hand and knocking the sword away. It spun as it left his fingers, whipping backwards as it plummeted toward the water below. The agent screamed in pain and pulled his bleeding hand close to his chest before turning to sneer at him, his barrier still active.
“Ah, Garrus Vakarian, yes? Jane Shepard’s little pet turian.” The agent spat with derision and disgust. After a pause, the sneer morphed into a vicious smirk that sent alarms peeling through Garrus’ head. “Give her my regards when you join her in hell!”
Alarm turned to dread and panic in Garrus’ stomach. “What did you do to Jane? Tell me!” He demanded in a furious roar as he heard the sound of his heart hammering in his ears. The other man didn’t respond, but spun quickly and dropped his barrier just long enough to raise his uninjured palm and send a blast of energy smashing into the skycar’s engine. Garrus raised his pistol to shoot, but it was nearly knocked out of his hand as the car lurched. He held on for dear life as Shepard yelled something he couldn’t quite hear.
Turning back to the Cerberus agent, Garrus cursed as he watched him shakily stand and launch himself off the back of their burning skycar. Another vehicle had pulled up alongside them, its door opening to allow him aboard. He turned to flash Garrus a smug half cocked smile before the door shut and it raced off.
Red hot anger and hate coursed through Garrus, and despite EDI’s insistent hands trying to grab hold of him, he leveled his weapon on the escaping skycar. Shepard was bringing their burning car down for what would inevitably be a hard landing, but Garrus steadied his aim as best he could.
He pulled the trigger, once, twice, then a third time. Whooping triumphantly, he watched as flames erupted from the agent’s skycar, and it quickly began losing altitude as well. Garrus pulled himself back into the car just in time.
“Hang on!” Shepard yelled over the sound of alarms blaring as warning displays flashed. Garrus’ teeth smashed together painfully as the skycar clipped the top of a building and he braced himself as the ground loomed ever nearer at an alarming rate.
The world exploded in pain and noise as the skycar smashed into the garden of a public shopping district. The world slowly started to resolve itself as Garrus groaned and shook his head.
“ Is everyone alright?” EDI asked from the backseat, seemingly unphased by the crash landing. Garrus heard Shepard grunt noncommittally. Carefully, they began extracting themselves from the wreck, stepping down into pure chaos.
Civilians screamed as they ran from bouts of gunfire, and a siren blared overhead as fires burned everywhere. Garrus blinked as he tried to regain his bearings, but the assassin’s parting words returned to him in a rush like a brick to the head.
Give her my regards when you join her in hell!
Hurriedly, he pulled up his omni-tool and attempted to raise Jane on the comm again, but got nothing but static. “Damnit!” He cursed, feeling his chest tighten to the point of pain. She had to be okay, she just had to be.
“ Shepard? ” Bailey’s voice buzzed, “ My instruments say your car’s stopped.” Garrus wanted to roll his eyes. Understatement of the century.
“I’m on foot now.” Shepard growled as a team of Cerberus troopers spotted them from across the clearing. “Any luck contacting the Council?” The three of them darted into cover as they pulled out their weapons.
“ Negative – their guards are dead. ” Garrus felt his blood chill and his chest tightened further. Would Jane have rushed to protect the Council at the start of the attack? Could she already be-
Focus . You can’t help her if you’re dead.
“ We’ve still got vital signs on the Councilor’s transponders, though.” Bailey added after a pause.
“Where are they going?” Shepard asked as they opened fire on the oncoming enemies.
“ They’re heading toward the shuttle pad above Shalmar Plaza. Udina’s with them.” He paused before adding, his voice low, “ If the assassin catches up with them, it’s all over .”
Shepard’s face set with determination before motioning them to push onward.
“On my way.”
Shepard slid to a stop before the elevator door as it closed, obscuring the assassin’s smirking face.
“Goddamn it!” The Commander smashed his fist into the door, anger radiating off him in waves. Garrus cursed under his breath, urgency thrumming through his veins as the assassin’s words continued to replay through his mind. They needed to stop him and protect the Council, and Garrus needed answers.
“ Over here. ” EDI called out as she moved to the other elevator. “ Cerberus has jammed the controls, but perhaps Bailey can be of assistance.” Noting the lack of holo display to open the door, she moved to begin forcing the doors open by hand. Garrus stepped in to help, and together they got them fully open.
“ There should be an elevator just below your position. If you can hop on top, I can activate it, and you can take out the power conduits on the assassin’s elevator. That should slow him down a bit.” Bailey explained as Shepard activated the flashlight attachment on his shotgun. Looking down, he nodded as he saw the top of the elevator just below them. Without further ado, he lept down.
“Okay, I’m in the shaft.” He reported as EDI jumped down after him. Garrus felt unease creeping down his back, cold as water running down his spine. He knew exactly how fast these elevators were, and riding atop one did not sound like a particularly good idea. Steeling himself, he followed the others.
“ Hang on, this will be a fast climb. ” Bailey muttered, and Garrus knelt down to grab a firm hand hold. Fast would be an understatement…
The elevator shot upwards, jamming them down against the roof violently. “Holy hell!” Shepard gasped as he struggled to keep his footing without dropping his shotgun. Looking up, Garrus saw nothing but darkness in the nearby shaft.
“I hope they’re not too far ahead of us.” He said, causing Bailey to chuckle darkly.
“ You’re pretty far behind, but I’m making his elevator stop at every floor.”
“Ha! Nice.” Shepard barked a sharp laugh, and EDI murmured her approval. Moments later, something came into view above them in the next shaft. “I see our friend!”
Without hesitating, Garrus whipped his rifle up and took aim. Two quick shots and two power conduits exploded. The other elevator appeared to drop like a rock as theirs shot past it.
“Good riddance!” Garrus spat as he grinned triumphantly.
“Nice shot.” Shepard nodded to him, and they rode in anxious silence for a minute until Bailey’s frustrated voice interrupted their thoughts.
“ Shepard! Bad news.”
“Is there any other kind?” The Commander groaned, and Garrus’ mandibles flicked.
“ That hitman jumped to another elevator, and he’s overridden my controls. He’s on his way up, I can’t stop him .” Shepard moved carefully toward the edge of their elevator and glanced down in an attempt to get a look.
“ On our right. Elevator, incoming.” EDI confirmed, and Shepard checked his heat sink.
“I’ll handle it.”
“Here they come!” Garrus yelled out as the elevator began catching up with them. Shepard took aim, and as it passed them by, he quickly took out the power conduits. Once again, their elevator shot past the other. “Perfect.”
“ Okay, you’re coming up on the Councillors' elevator. I’m going to try to pull you up alongside them and match their speed. You’ll be able to jump across and drop down through the access hatch.” Bailey explained, and Garrus could feel himself blanch.
“You’ve asked me to do a lot of stupid things over the years, Shepard, but this might take the cake.” He grumbled, and Shepard flashed him a half smile before bracing himself. A moment later, they were coming even with the next elevator.
“Get ready… jump!” Shepard called out before leaping across. He rolled with a loud crash before grabbing a handhold. A second later, gunshots burst through the roof from below, and Shepard just barely rolled out of danger in time.
The gunshots stopped, and the other elevator abruptly began slowing down. In a panic, Garrus quickly leapt across, followed by EDI. Shepard was searching for the access panel as the elevator finally came to a stop. There was the sound of hurried footsteps below them as Garrus found the panel. They scrabbled around looking for the latch, but Garrus finally gave up with a growl.
Standing, he brought his foot up and smashed it down onto the panel hard, causing it to bow and then finally buckle. “Go, go!” He exclaimed as it gave way, and one by one, the three of them dropped down into the empty elevator.
“This way!” Shepard sprinted onward down the hallway and through a door, but skidded to a halt as he came out onto an open air landing, his weapon raised but his mouth open.
“John?”
Garrus felt his heart leap at the voice as he came to a stop beside Shepard. His eyes took in the sight of Jane, alive and seemingly uninjured, her pistol raised as she stood between them and the three councilors behind her.
“Jane!” He called out in relief, and her eyes widened as she slowly lowered her weapon. Behind him, he could hear the door control beep as EDI quickly locked it.
“Shepard’s blocking our escape!” Garrus’ attention was ripped from Jane’s face as Udina cried out, “He’s with Cerberus!”
“Stand down, Udina!” Jane snapped as her brows drew together in consternation. Her eyes narrowed as they flicked between the three of them before landing on her brother. “John, what’s happening here?” Her pistol came up slightly, not pointed directly at them, but at the ready.
Shepard lowered his own sidearm as he stood a little taller. “You know what he said isn’t true, Jane. You know me better than that.”
“Then what is going on, exactly? Why did you break into our elevator?” Jane asked, her face tense and her body tightly wound and ready to move. Garrus thought back to the worries she’d confided to him before they’d last parted, and realized where her thoughts must be leading.
“We don’t have time for this. You’ve been fooled, all of you.” Shepard explained as he took a careful step closer. “Udina’s behind this attack. Valern confirmed it.” The accusation rang out, bold and unafraid, even over the explosions and gunfire on the landings far below. Jane turned just enough to shoot a hard look at the human councilor. “Jane,” Shepard’s voice was softer as he implored his sister to listen, “You have to believe me.” After a moment, Udina scoffed and sneered at Shepard.
“Unlike you, she is a professional. Isn’t that right, Spectre Shepard?” Udina snapped as he crossed his arms in disgust. “She knows her duty and doesn’t jump at every harebrained accusation with no proof. She’s less easily fooled than some people .”
“Udina…” Tevos, the asari councilor, stepped forward to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, “We have no reason to distrust Shepard. It was less than wise to do so in the past, as we have learned.” Udina turned to sneer at her before shrugging her off.
“Well, we’re either about to be shot dead by him and his team, or we’re going to be sitting ducks standing out here in the open. Either way, I’m going to unlock that door so we can get the hell out of here.” He snapped before turning and walking toward a nearby console.
“Wait a minute, Udina!” Jane called out as she threw up a hand, gesturing for him to stop, “Let’s get to the bottom of this before we-”
“There’s no time!” Shepard exclaimed as he gestured to the elevator behind him, “There are Cerberus soldiers in the elevator shaft behind us. If he opens that door, they’ll kill us all!” Jane’s eyes widened and Tevos quickly hurried after Udina.
“Please, Udina.” The asari murmured carefully as she brought a hand up to prevent him from accessing the terminal, “I’m sure the accusations against you are either overblown, or there’s been some sort of misunderstanding. Please, just step away from the console, and we can-”
“To hell with this!” Udina spat as he pushed her hand away roughly. He began typing at the console, at which point Jane began hurrying toward him as well. Tevos grabbed his arm again as the door lock flashed to orange, the controls asking for confirmation before unlocking. Udina turned to shove her, sending her crashing hard to the ground, and a breath later he stood above her, a gun trained between her eyes.
Garrus’ blood ran cold as everything seemed to slow. He rushed to bring his gun up, fighting the sluggishness of shock in his limbs.
“Shit!” Shepard hissed from beside him.
A sharp crack! echoed off the Presidium’s walls and blood sprayed. Udina’s eyes stared in blank shock as he fell to his knees. He slumped backwards to splay awkwardly across the red splattered floor. Before him stood Jane, her sidearm still raised and trained upon his chest. Everyone remained where they were, breaths held in reverent, shocked silence. Like a pricked balloon, the tension seemed to drain out of each of them, the lead weight of reality settling upon their shoulders.
Jane let her hand drop to her side, her eyes never leaving the dead man lying at her feet, even as Garrus and Shepard ran toward her. Sparatus, the turian councilor, offered a hand to Tevos, pulling her up as EDI stepped over to check on them both.
Shepard stepped around Jane, pausing for a moment to look at her with an empathetic eye as he squeezed her shoulder. He then knelt down to feel for the pulse they all knew wasn’t beating through Udina’s veins.
“Jane, thank the spirits you’re all right…” Garrus trailed off as he reached her, noticing the torn look on her face as she continued gazing down at the body before them. “He’s the one behind this entire attack. He deserved what he got, and then some.” He muttered, the faces of dead colleagues swimming before his eyes.
“I know. It’s just a fucking shame it had to come to this.” Jane sighed before finally looking away and holstering her weapon. “I’d always hated him, he was such a fucking asshole. But when the Reapers arrived, I don’t know. He seemed to have his head on straight, he was so focused and driven to do what needed to be done. He actually seemed to care, and I thought maybe I was wrong about him. But for all of that to end like this ,” She shook her head slowly, “It’s a fucking shame.”
Garrus opened his mouth to reply, but was caught off guard when she suddenly flung her arms around him and pulled him in for a tight hug. He quickly holstered his own weapon before wrapping his arms around her as well. It felt damn good to hold her after so long apart. It felt as though a missing part of him had finally been returned.
“How do you always seem to find yourself in the thick of all the trouble? You’re like a magnet or something.” Garrus chuckled as they both stepped back, and Jane flashed him a crooked smile.
“You know? It might just be a special talent of mine.” Jane muttered, but turned away as Shepard called out for them to move the councilors to safety. She seemed about to continue, but everyone froze as the sparks erupted at the base of the locked doors nearby.
They turned, weapons raised, as the burning line of sparks traveled up the seam. Jane and Garrus moved to stand before the two remaining councilors as EDI and Shepard positioned themselves closer to the doors.
Garrus swallowed. They were clear out in the open, no cover, no escape. What was that phrase James used that one time? Ah, yes… They were going to be like fish in a barrel . He gripped his rifle a little tighter.
The door sprang open, and Shepard drew back in surprise as he lowered his weapon. “Bailey?”
“Spirits…” Garrus felt the tension evaporate to be replaced with a slight weakness in his knees. Ignoring the unsettling sensation, he lowered his own weapon as he watched the C-Sec officers step out onto the landing.
“Huh.” Jane glanced about before taking a few quiet steps out toward the burning skycar nearby. “Everything's gone quiet. The gunfire and explosions have stopped.” Garrus blocked out the sound of Shepard’s conversation as he stepped up behind her.
“You’re right. Is Cerberus retreating now that their plan to assassinate the Council has failed?”
“Jane! Garrus!” They both turned to look back at Shepard as he called out to them, “Come on, we’re going to help C-Sec with evacuating the councilors and securing the rest of the station!”
They exchanged a look before hurrying to catch up.
“Ha.” Garrus scoffed at James’ latest ridiculous tale before taking a sip of his drink, the lights flashing overhead not enough to dispel the dark atmosphere currently prevailing in the Purgatory bar on the Presidium. “The Alliance teach you to make up crap like that, or did you figure it out all by yourself?”
It had taken nearly twenty four hours for C-Sec to confirm that the Citadel was secure and free of Cerberus. Or, at least, as far as they knew. A few days later, there was finally an attempt to force things back to normal, but the days of pretending the war didn’t exist on the Citadel were officially gone.
“It’s a gift.” James replied with a self satisfied nod of his head from where he sat beside him on the next bar stool over. He glanced at Garrus before lifting his drink a tad in recognition. “You’ve been through a lot, Scars.” He acknowledged as his brows rose. They’d been exchanging stories, each trying to one up the other for at least the last forty five minutes, and Garrus had to admit, the younger man had some impressive ones.
“You giving up?” Garrus asked with challenge in his voice. But instead of rising to the bait, James’ eyes fell to the bar top.
“Nah, I got more. Just don’t like to talk about it.” His voice was subdued, and Garrus nodded in understanding before taking another sip of his drink. He wasn’t sure which number drink this was, but he was definitely starting to feel it.
“Fair enough… We’ve all got one of those.” James looked up at him at that, a single eyebrow raised.
“Just one, huh?” He asked sardonically, and Garrus shrugged.
“Not every story has a happy ending.” In a flash, he could hear the explosions and screams as his best friend died over Alchera. He could see ten body bags in rows in an old Omega apartment, and ten names carved into his visor. He could count the cold, dead bodies of old co-workers and friends littering the floors of C-Sec headquarters. A dozen other scenes flashed before him that he wished he could forget, but never could.
Garrus threw back the rest of his drink.
“Except,” James murmured thoughtfully, the hint of a smile on his face as he motioned to the barkeeper for another refill, “there was this one time I teamed up with a turian named Garrus Vakarian.” He said thoughtfully before grinning. “He was pretty good with a gun, but he thought he was some kind of hotshot.”
Garrus snorted a laugh. “Yeah, I knew this wise-ass marine named Jimmy Vega-” He, too, gestured for a refill as he tried to hide his own grin, “-Sounds like a pole dancer on Omega, I know. He always got on my nerves. Buuut-” He paused, his face softening before he continued, “the kid was alright. Had guts when it counted.”
Garrus thanked the barkeeper as he was handed his new drink, and James took the opportunity to raise his glass aloft for a toast. “And together, they cured the genophage.” He declared so solemnly that Garrus wanted to burst out laughing. He lifted his own glass to clink against James’.
“And stopped Cerberus from taking over the Citadel.” He added with more drama in his voice than he otherwise would have with less alcohol flowing through him. They both took a swig of their drinks in triumph.
“And finally kicked the Reapers from this galaxy and into the next.” James finished with more than a bit of fire in his voice as he smacked his glass down hard.
“With a little help from their friends.” Garrus amended with a chuckle as he gazed down into the silvery liquid of his drink.
“Naaah,” James’ grin was back as he spun his stool around and leaned his elbows back upon the bartop, “it was just us.” He paused before adding smugly, “But mostly me.”
Garrus snorted into his drink before taking another sip. “Uh huh.” He swiveled just enough to scan what he could see of the rest of the club. “Where the hell is Jane? She was supposed to meet me here like-” He checked the time on his omni-tool – he blinked to clear his vision as the numbers swam a little, “-awhile ago.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t hold your breath, Scars.” James spun back around to face the bar again as he waved a hand dismissively. “I tried inviting her out to dance earlier, but she shot me down. Said she had plans with that mysterious boyfriend of hers.” He leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, “But you know what? I’m starting to think he doesn’t actually exist.”
Garrus grinned and turned back to the bartop as well, “Oh, really? What makes you say that?” He could see why Jane was messing with him, it was kind of fun. Especially because the entirety of the crew knew who Jane was seeing. Except for James.
“Have you seen them together? She hasn’t been all lovey dovey with anyone, at least not on the Normandy, not when I could see!” James stroked his chin, confusion evident on his face. “I don’t get it. She’s waaaay too hot to be struggling to find someone, and she’s way too laid back to give two shits about being single.”
“Ah, there you are.” They both turned to see an amused Jane standing behind them with her arms crossed. “You better not have gotten him too drunk, Vega. It hurts like hell when a turian steps on my toes. Come on.” With that, she grabbed Garrus’ arm and tugged him off toward the stairs to the dance floor.
“Oh, come on!” James hollered after them, laughter in his voice. “You’re taking him dancing? There’s no way he’s as good a dance partner as me!”
“You keep telling yourself that, Vega!” She called back to him with a grin as she continued dragging Garrus upwards.
“Are we seriously going dancing?” Garrus asked loudly in amazement over the music as they stepped out onto the dance floor. He blinked as he noticed Joker and EDI dancing carefully nearby. Maybe he’d had more to drink than he’d thought.
“I know, I know. It’s not usually my favorite pastime.” Jane conceded as they both started moving in rhythm to the beat. “But I just saw John dragging Jack up here to dance and I just had to tease him. Look at him go!” She gestured a little ways off where Shepard was awkwardly shuffling, seemingly to a completely different song than what was currently coming through the speakers. Jack was nearby, laughing as she danced in a more lively and skilled manner.
Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle, it was almost impossible not to when Shepard danced. “So, what was the hold up? I was starting to think you’d stood me up.”
“Ah, sorry about that.” Jane sighed sheepishly. “I ran into an old friend and she had a small request to discuss.” At that, Garrus suddenly remembered.
“Speaking of old friends,” He sobered a little and moved a little closer as the music shifted, placing a hand on her hip, “Vasir sends her regards.” Jane, who had been smiling at his adventurous fingers, froze.
“Wait, what? Vasir ? When?”
“Shepard didn’t mention it? She jumped in to protect the salarian councilor from the assassin back during the coup.” Jane blinked, but after a moment she began to move with the music again.
“Huh. Well, guess she got let off with a slap on the wrist. Can’t say I’m surprised. Did she seem pissed about what happened back in Illium? I have no idea if she’s the type to hold a grudge.”
“Honestly, I have no idea either. I couldn’t get a good read on her. She seemed friendly enough, I suppose. But she says she owes you a rematch, so maybe watch your back.” Garrus only half meant it, but he probably would be keeping an eye peeled for the purple marked asari Spectre.
“Will do.” Jane replied with an expression all too eager for his liking. “So, tell me more about this Cerberus assassin.” Garrus’ felt his smile falter.
“Not much to say, I have no idea who he was. Weird guy, though. Long hair, for a human male at least. Had an odd mask that only covered his eyes, and fought with a sword of all things.” Recognition washed over Jane’s face, quickly followed by disgust.
“Kai Leng.” She muttered darkly, and Garrus’ movements slowed.
“I take it you two have met.” He stated, and Jane nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, still moving with the music. Garrus hummed his approval as he pulled her closer.
“We crossed paths a few times during my time with Cerberus.” She whispered as she leaned in closer. “He’s one of the Illusive Man’s little pet projects. He’s a racist little twat, and I’m looking forward to the day I can put a bullet between his eyes.”
“Mmm, I love it when you talk dirty.” Garrus murmured as one of his hands found her lower back, enjoying the feel of her slight shiver. His fingers ducked under the cloth of her shirt, but his blood cooled as he felt the bumps and ridges of fresh scarring he didn’t recognize.
She pulled away slightly at his touch, though her face betrayed nothing. They’d hadn’t had much downtime the past few days despite being on the Citadel, and they hadn’t had much time alone together. He hadn’t seen the extent of her new acid scars yet, and it was starting to become obvious that she was not keen to show them off just yet.
“Speaking of dirty, you up for a short vacation?” She grinned up at him as she changed the topic, and Garrus could recognize the twinkle of trouble in her eyes.
“A… vacation? Now ?” Garrus blinked in surprise.
“Well, John says he plans to stay on the Citadel for a week or two to help with everything here, and then he has a few smaller missions that I think the team can handle well enough without us. I’ll ask him if we can take a short leave of absence, and we can meet up with him afterwards.” She explained, utterly failing to sate his confusion.
“Okay, but… A vacation ? What, we’re just going to put our feet up and sip cocktails on the beach while the others are out there risking their necks?” He raised his brow plate in question, prompting her to roll her eyes.
“Not exactly .” She lifted questioning eyes up toward him, the two huge green pools he so often found himself drowning in. “How would you feel about a trip to Omega? Aria says she could use a hand in retaking her disgusting pile of junk from Cerberus, and who would be better suited to the job than Archangel himself? She’s promised her army for the war against the Reapers if we help her out, seems like a good trade to me. What do you think?”
Garrus only needed a moment to make up his mind. “Count me in.”
Chapter 65: Part 3: Interlude
Summary:
In which Jane manhandles Aria (and is manhandled in turn).
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Interlude
Omega
“Ughhh… Why can’t we go anywhere nice for a change?” Garrus groaned from a nearby harness as he shook his head. Jane heard him cough, the dense and noxious smoke in the escape pod making it difficult to see more than a foot or two in front of her. She quickly unlatched her own harness and pulled out her sidearm to check the heat sink. She frowned as she noticed the slight tremor in her hand and took a deep breath. It had been a while since her last stint in an escape pod, and that was an event she tried hard not to think about often.
Looking up, she saw Aria pulling herself out of her own restraints with a snarl as she unholstered her shotgun.
“Oh, cheer up, Big Guy.” Jane forced a grin as she pulled up her omni-tool. “This is going to be fun!” With that, she hit the button for the escape pod’s door and activated her tactical cloak before taking a running leap. She landed in the midst of a pack of Cerberus troops cautiously investigating the crashed pod, and after a few quick shots and liberal usage of her omni-blade, half of them were dead before they even knew they were under attack.
Aria flung herself from the pod a moment later, quickly followed by Garrus and the rest of the survivors. As the last Cerberus soldier fell, Aria called for them all to group up.
“I hope the other escape pods made it.” She growled, and Jane looked up to see enemy reinforcements hurrying toward them. She fired off a few shots, forcing them to duck into cover.
“All right, what’s our target?” She asked quickly as she turned to Aria expectantly. Nearby, Jane could see Garrus pull out his sniper rifle and take aim. Damn if she didn’t love watching him work – a master at his trade.
“Need to hit the Defense System Station, shut down Omega’s outer defenses so my ships can land.” Aria ducked out of cover to fire off a few rounds before turning back to add, “If we don’t, they’ll be blown to bits like we were.”
“Got it.” Jane replied curtly. She readied herself to duck out of cover, but paused as a vorcha ran up and took aim at the soldiers firing at them. Before he could get a shot off, he was peppered with bullets and quickly fell to the ground as he screamed in pain. Fighting alongside vorcha, of all things, was more than a little bizarre. Jane shook herself and tried to focus.
“They know we’re here. We need to get moving before they start flooding in and overwhelm us.” Garrus called out, and Aria nodded curtly.
“In combat,” She began as she turned back to Jane, her voice low and her eyes narrowed, “what you say goes.” Jane raised a brow at her, but after a moment she nodded back.
“Makes sense. Play to our strengths.”
“Never thought I’d see the day Aria agreed to take orders.” Garrus muttered under his breath with a flick of his mandibles, and Jane couldn’t help her amused smile. Of course this was the perfect time to antagonize the queen of Omega. The smartass was too snarky for his own good, but damn if she didn’t love him for it.
Aria shot him a considering, weighing look, and Jane didn’t know if she liked it or not. Aria was sharp and clever, she never would have been able to keep Omega under her thumb for so long otherwise. Jane hadn’t mentioned Garrus’ background when she’d insisted on bringing him along, but she suddenly found herself wondering whether that had been a good idea or not. Did Aria already know about who Archangel had been?
“You were the best damn gun I’d had on payroll in ages, Shepard.” Aria turned back to look Jane in the eye. “I know you can get us where we need to go.”
Jane felt oddly touched. Those words meant something coming from someone like Aria.
“Okay, let’s move.” Jane turned to look at Garrus, who nodded at her. Bringing him along had been good idea. She was always at her best with him at her side.
As soon as they broke into the defense system control room, Jane made straight for the control console and began the process of taking the canons offline. Through the windows, they could see the battle beyond. It wasn’t pretty.
As soon as the cannons powered down, Aria began dolling out instructions for the ships to be brought in. Garrus was looking around, his brow plates drawn down in focus.
“What’s up?” Jane asked him as she noticed his concern and was instantly put on edge.
“Last time I was here, I remember… Ah.” His eyes landed on whatever it was he’d been looking for. Raising his pistol, he pulled the trigger once, and a security camera exploded in a spray of glass and sparks. Aria turned to look at him, a question in her gaze. Garrus just shrugged at her, and after giving him a hard look, she turned her attention back to her comm.
“When did you have business messing around with Omega’s defense system?” Jane asked him in a whisper as she came to stand beside him, and Garrus turned an amused expression on her.
“There was… a reason. I can’t go spilling all my secrets now, can I? It would ruin all my mystique, and we can’t have that.” He shifted his weight just so, and cocked his head to the side just the right amount, and Jane grinned. Garrus somehow always managed to perfectly toe the line between adorable dork and suave badass.
“What, you won’t even tell me ? I thought I was the love of your life.” Jane leaned in and placed a hand on the front of his cowl, applying just enough weight to shift him forward, slightly unbalancing him. His eyes widened as he stumbled slightly, steadying himself with a hand on her hip. Jane leaned forward, her lips a hair’s breadth from his mouth plates as she looked up at him through her lashes. “Surely you can trust me , right?”
Garrus chuckled and brought a finger up to stroke her cheek lightly. He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear before leaning down to whisper, “Maybe if you ask very nicely, I can tell you the story sometime.” Jane felt a shiver run down her spine, anticipation welling in her belly. Before she could reply, Garrus stepped back. “But perhaps we should focus on the task at hand first?”
“Okay, enough eye fucking, or whatever the hell you two are doing.” Aria strode over, and Jane took a steadying breath in an attempt not to look as flustered as she felt. “We need to head for the rendezvous point.”
“And where is that, exactly?”
“It’s a bunker I established on D-deck for my… more sensitive operations.” Aria began, and Garrus’ eyes widened as his mandibles flicked. He looked away, and Jane would almost say he looked… guilty? Maybe. She was damn good at reading subtleties in turian expressions, but some of the more nuanced ones were still difficult.
“It’s utterly impenetrable, with its own hanger and dock. Independent power source, life support, munitions. You’ll see.” Aria explained, her face more than a little smug as she smiled. As usual, her smile never reached her eyes.
“I can get us there fairly quickly.” Garrus spoke up, finally turning to face them, his face unreadable. “There’s a set of tunnels and passages that we can utilize, it should keep us off the streets and away from Cerberus eyes and ears.” There was silence as they processed his words, and when Aria finally responded, her voice was carefully even.
“I’ll ignore for a moment the fact that you seem to know about my personal tunnel network. What I’m more interested in learning is why you seem to think you know where my secret bunker is.” The statement was delivered with a quiet and deadly calm, and Jane prayed that Garrus knew what he was doing. Garrus’ bold stare met Aria’s narrowed gaze unblinkingly.
“I think we have bigger fish to fry at the moment, as the humans like to say.” He stated firmly, and after a moment, Aria’s lips turned upwards in a triumphant smile that set the hairs on Jane’s neck on end. There was a sparkle in the asari’s eyes that she didn’t like.
“That we do. Come on, let’s get moving.” Aria replied suddenly as she turned and strode off toward the door, unholstering and pumping her shotgun with one hand in a single, fluid motion. “I’m back, fuckers .”
“ Spirits, look who’s back.” The voice was amused, the hint of movement just barely visible. “It’s Aria T’Loak.”
“Nyreen?” Jane stared as the hooded turian stepped forward into what passed for light in the darkened tunnels. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised, and yet she was nonetheless.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Aria sneered as she lowered her weapon and glared at her ex. When Jane had left Aria’s employ, they had still very much been a thing . She’d had enough smarts not to ask when she’d returned to Omega after reuniting with John and found no sign of the turian woman.
“Playing cat and mouse, mostly.” Nyreen replied with a small shrug as she stepped further out of the shadows. But she kept a distance between them as she continued, “Just trying to stay alive. If it wasn’t for these tunnels…”
“ My tunnels.” Aria corrected with a bite, and Jane couldn’t help but smile. As much as she enjoyed her ‘friendship’ with her, there was something oddly satisfying about seeing someone get under Aria’s skin so completely.
As Aria and Nyreen continued to talk, Jane chanced a glance over at Garrus. He seemed an odd mixture of at ease and on edge as he shifted his weight, watching the two deep in conversation with interest. Not for the first time, Jane wondered about the details of his life on Omega before they’d been reunited. He’d always skirted around any questions she’d asked, managing to answer them without actually giving her any useful information. As she watched him examine the female turian sharply, Jane felt a moment of curiosity that stabbed her in a vulnerable place she’d thought long since hidden away.
They eventually continued their careful journey toward the bunker, now with Nyreen in tow. Jane had some reservations about bringing her along, the main reason being that she wasn’t entirely sure she could be trusted. There was obviously something Nyreen wasn’t telling them, but Jane knew Aria was most likely far less trusting than she, and so she left the matter in her capable hands.
The other reason was the horrifyingly awkward tension between the turian biotic and the self proclaimed queen of Omega. They stood in a slow moving elevator, and Jane couldn’t help but curse whoever decided the machine needed to move at the speed of a creeping caterpillar. On one side of the elevator stood Aria, her arms crossed as she glared at the door. On the other side, Nyreen didn’t seem to know what to do with her hands as she shifted her weight from side to side.
Both of them kept shooting surreptitious glances at each other when the other wasn’t looking, and it made Jane want to smack her head against the wall. Otherwise, they both seemed to be trying so exceedingly hard to ignore the other that they might as well have been staring. She and Garrus stood beside each other toward the back of the lift, and if the elevator took any longer, Jane swore she was going to scream. She turned to see if Garrus was as uncomfortable as she was, but the dork seemed completely oblivious as he tapped his foot to a silent tune. Was he listening to music in that damn visor of his again? She elbowed him and he jerked in surprise before turning to eye her questioningly.
Jane sighed before smiling and rolling her eyes. Suave badass, adorable dork. The two sides of the coin that was Garrus Vakarian. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
The rest of their trip to the bunker was mostly uneventful. It remained a secret from the Cerberus forces, and thanks to the tunnel system, they managed to make their way there undisturbed. As they finally made their way in, they were greeted by-
“Bray!” Jane called out in a cheery voice, an overly large smile on her face. She thrust her arms outward in greeting, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite of Aria’s ladies-in-waiting!” The batarian glowered at her. Oh, how she loved pushing his buttons, it had been a fun game back during her stay on Omega. It was good to see that it remained entertaining.
“Shepard.” Bray sighed, “Glad to see you survived.” His voice was glum, his sarcasm not lost on her. Jane grinned widely at him, the sort of smile whose purpose was more predatory than friendly, and he rolled his eyes before turning his attention to his boss.
Aria ordered the doors shut and barricaded with biotics before turning her attention to demand answers from Nyreen. Jane wasn’t keen to step in, she’d never enjoyed getting involved in lover’s spats.
Garrus, however, seemed more than willing. “Nyreen obviously has military training. Given our losses so far, it seems unwise to turn her away.” Both of the other women spun to eye him, their expressions hard at the interruption, and so Jane decided to back him up.
“We can put her to good use, I’m sure.” she stated offhandedly, and Aria turned an amused eye on her. “Seems a shame to waste a perfectly good resource.” Jane added as she brought one hand up to examine her glove with studied indifference.
“You’re so quick to trust, huh, Shepard?” Aria murmured with a cold softness as she began to pace, “Nyreen never approved of Omega’s-” She continued until she was standing before the turian, “-what did you call it?” She spun to face Nyreen with a dangerous half smile, but her eyes flicked to Garrus with a questioning quirk to her brow, “ ‘Moral bankruptcy.’” She muttered the term with the disdain she clearly thought it deserved before returning her focus to Nyreen. “Are you willing to help defend it now?”
“You’ll find me very willing to liberate this station.” Nyreen stated firmly, her eyes never leaving Aria’s. The turian woman had seemingly grown a backbone and appeared completely unphased by Aria’s posturing.
The small upward quirk of Aria’s lips was subtle enough that Jane almost missed it. “Your combat skills seem a little rusty,” She paused to let the barb sting before continuing, “but you’re still a good shot. See my duty officer.” With that, Nyreen nodded before walking away.
As soon as the turian’s back was turned, Aria beckoned to Bray and began dolling out muttered orders as they made their way toward the command center. Jane didn’t miss her backward glance at them, nor did she miss the cold calculation in her eyes.
“There’s something she’s not telling me, and I don’t like it.” Jane muttered under her breath just loud enough for Garrus to hear as she crossed her arms. She could feel her eyebrows drawing down in a frown, and forced herself to relax.
“Yeah, well. On Omega, trust is a dangerous thing.” Something in Garrus’ voice made her pause, and she turned to look up at him. His eyes were hard as steel, and she could see the tightness of his mandibles. “Here, trust gets people killed.”
Jane could still remember the rows of body bags, neatly arranged in the nearly empty Omega apartment.
She silently placed her hand on his arm lightly, knowing words weren’t necessary. His stiff posture relaxed slightly at her touch, his mandibles flicking gently as they loosened. Garrus flashed her a small, grateful smile, and together they followed after Aria.
“Hurry up, Shepard!” The asari called back at them, “We need to move fast. I’m itching for revenge.” Jane jogged to catch up as a sardonic smile passed her lips.
“You’ll do what you need to do.” She shrugged, trying not to imagine the bloodbath Aria planned to leave in her wake. Aria flashed her a raised brow as she slowed.
“Huh, and I’d heard you’d gone soft under your brother’s thumb. I almost imagined you might come here trying to change me.” Her smile was pleased and dangerous.
“I’m a Spectre, not a saint.” Jane snorted before continuing with a drawl, “I don’t give a shit what you do with the garbage occupying this station. We have a deal – I’ll do my part, you do yours. That’s all that matters.”
“I always did like you, Shepard.” Aria smirked, “You get me.”
She led them up to the command center of the bunker, and began giving out orders and demanding information. Finally, together they began outlining their situation.
“Our losses were significant.” Aria growled, “We can’t field an army large enough to face down Cerberus.”
“Then we need to find allies.” Jane grumbled, ire prickling up her neck. “A pity we didn’t bring John along, he’s the people person.”
“Don’t sell yourself short.” Garrus cut in from her elbow, and she felt a stab of gratitude for his faith in her.
“We’ve confirmed there is a merc gang that’s still active.” Aria continued without acknowledging the interruption. “The Talons are resisting the occupation.” She gestured to a display showing a security clip of gangsters displaying the symbol they’d encountered earlier in the tunnels. “Not my first choice,” She spat with disgust, “but they’re all we’ve got.”
“We’ll make them join.” Jane narrowed her eyes as she watched the clips of the rebel gang. “One way or another.”
“Perfectly put.” Aria replied, her pleasure more evident in her voice than her emotionless face belied. At that moment, Aria’s attention was diverted by Bray announcing Nyreen’s disappearance, and Jane heard Garrus chuckle from where he stood behind her.
“What?” She turned to face her amused boyfriend. He shook his head, but his smile remained.
“Nothing. Shepard never could understand your friendship with Aria, but watching you guys, I think I get it.”
“Oh?” Jane crossed her arms and shifted her weight to one side as she raised an eyebrow at him.
“You guys are more alike than I’d realized. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so terrifying.” He grinned, and Jane felt something deep in her belly warm at the intensity in his eyes. “Just remind me not to get on your bad side…” He murmured, though something in the tone of his subvocals begged for a demonstration, and they both knew he wasn’t referring to her gunplay. Jane couldn’t help the hum of pleasure in the back of her throat.
“Keep lookin’ at me like that , and I’ll show you just how bad I can be.”
The Nyreen that stood before them in the Talons outpost was an entirely different creature than the woman they’d found in the tunnels earlier that day. Before, she’d stood hunched, her face shadowed by her dark hood as her eyes darted. Now, she stood tall, her shoulders squared and her expression determined and unafraid. Whether it had been an act before, or simply a result of being separated from her gang, Jane couldn’t say, though she leaned toward the former. Nyreen seemed shrewd and clearly sharper than she’d initially thought.
As soon as she began barking out orders and the mercs referred to her as ‘boss’, it was readily apparent who they were going to need to convince if they wanted the Talons’ help. But, given the cold stare Nyreen leveled on them, it would be easier said than done.
“Right. Aria, Shepard, whatever you’re here for, the answer’s no. Kindly escort yourselves off Talon territory.” She stated firmly with a tone that implied her readiness to force the matter if necessary. Jane didn’t blink as she met the turian’s eyes with a steely stare of her own, her stance relaxed in a way that invited only the foolhardy to challenge her.
“We’re coming with you.” She pointed out as she narrowed her eyes slightly, “You get our help now in return for hearing us out later.” It wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a demand. It was a statement about how things were going to be, despite anyone else’s opinion. Nyreen held her stoney gaze for a moment longer before letting her eyes fall, and Jane knew the taste of victory as she detected the slight falter in the other woman’s stance.
“She has your charm, Aria.” Nyreen pointed out as she turned to the asari, who nodded and took a slow step forward.
“But not my patience.” The threat in Aria’s voice was thinly veiled and impossible to miss. Nyreen rolled her eyes before walking past toward the door.
“Fine. I don’t have time to argue, and we can use the extra guns. Let’s go.” She said as she unholstered her rifle. Jane smirked and looked to Aria, who nodded to her with a small, cold smile of pleasure.
“You two just steamroll anyone who gets in your way, don’t you?” Garrus chimed in a moment later, and Jane just waved her hand at him dismissively, causing him to chuckle.
By the time they fought their way to the Talon base, it was clear that Nyreen had previously gone to great lengths to hide the proficiency of her combat skills and biotic abilities. Before she’d been almost a liability, able to point a gun and throw some small biotic blasts, but not much else. Now, though, she clearly demonstrated the ability to hold her own against the rest of them, with her biotic ability giving her a distinct edge.
What confidence and strength she had in combat was matched, if not overshadowed, by her backbone in standing up to Aria. Though, if Jane was being perfectly honest, it really almost bordered on idiocy.
“And if I say no?” Nyreen asked after Aria’s demand for the Talons to back her attempt to retake Omega. “You’ll just kill me and take over? My people won’t stand for that.” Around them, the Talons gang watched the confrontation from alcoves and overlooking balconies, interest and trepidation evident as the two determined women stared each other down in a battle of wills.
“Yes, they do seem…” Aria glanced around at the red clad figures around her, their faces painted in their gang colors, “ nauseatingly loyal. Either way, I’ll get what I want.” The words were a quiet, muttered promise.
“Not this time.” Nyreen growled. Beside her, Jane could feel Garrus chafe, frustration reverberating in his subvocals.
“You need to wake up.” He spat, and the other turian’s attention snapped to him in surprise. “Alone, none of us will be able to push Cerberus off Omega. We need to work together if we’re going to stand a chance.” Nyreen eyed him with searching curiosity before nodding.
“You might be right, but the people of Omega are my priority.” Garrus’ face softened and he opened his mouth to respond to her show of virtue, but paused as Aria snorted harshly.
“You take over one gang, and you think you’re ready to decide what’s best for Omega?” Aria raised an amused brow at her, but there was no warmth or fondness in the expression, only disdain. “Nyreen, watch and learn.” The words were almost a whisper, a promise of things to come.
As Aria took a step toward the middle of the central platform before the hordes of onlookers, Jane saw her turn slightly to shoot Garrus a guarded look before pulling up her omni-tool. Jane narrowed her eyes as she crossed her arms. What did Aria have up her sleeve?
“Ahz.” Aria called out into her comm, and a reply came a moment later.
“ Everything’s in place!” Came the voice of the frazzled salarian, “ The entire station’s connected !”
Aria nodded, and a moment later, a tiny, nearly invisible holo cam appeared before her, and she smiled as her face appeared on every display around the huge room. Most likely, her face looked down from every display on the entire station , if Jane had to guess.
“People of Omega-” Aria threw her arms up into the air in triumph, “I have returned!” Her voice echoed through the room, both from the reverberation of her booming voice and from the number of displays projecting it. Her face was exultant as she reveled in the power she wielded while cheers rose even amongst the Talons in attendance.
“Cerberus believes they have beaten you.” She continued after a moment, the cam following her as she paced the platform. “They believe they have you under control.” She shot Nyreen a hard look before raising a single angry fist into the air. “They are gravely mistaken.”
Jane could imagine the hordes of Omega citizens cheering throughout the station, echoing the calls she could hear throughout the Talons base. Aria knew what she was about, she knew her people. This was clearly all a part of Aria’s plan, she’d had Ahz set it all up ahead of time.
“You are the lawless of the galaxy.” Aria stated to the masses as she gestured toward the cam. “You cannot be beaten, and you will never be controlled.” Her voice was rising in volume, reaching toward a crescendo, and the cheers around her rose in intensity as well. Jane could see where it was going, she was rabble rousing. There was no way the people of Omega were going to sit around on their asses while Aria’s people took to the streets. She’d just conscripted each of them into her own personal army, whether they knew it or not.
“If you want proof that our fight is worth fighting, then just look who returned from the dead to fight by our side.” Aria turned suddenly and held out her hand toward them, her holo cam shifting its focus. Jane’s eyes widened, for a moment thinking the cam was looking directly at her. But then the displays above caught her attention, as she bit back a curse.
“Archangel, himself, has joined my cause. The protector of the weak and the downtrodden, he’s risen up to help you take back your homes!” Aria’s smirk was deadly and exultant as she took in both of their shocked expressions. Garrus stood stock still, his eyes wide and his mandibles slack as his face was reflected back at them from the displays, and Jane looked around at the equally shocked expressions on the faces dotting the balconies above them.
Rage and panic coursed through Jane as she fingered her sidearm, ready and waiting for the first merc to raise their weapon. But surprisingly, they remained where they stood, listening and cheering. If anything, the cheers were louder , almost deafening as they reverberated through the base. Jane turned to Garrus again, who still stood frozen as his gaze swept the room.
“So be ready!” Aria barked suddenly, “Our chance to strike out against your oppressors is coming. Together, we will take Omega back!” She cried as she thrust her fists into the air, and she was met by a wall of cheers and excited whistles. The cam vanished and the feed on the displays cut out as she turned with a smirk and sauntered back towards them, only to freeze as Jane’s fists snapped out to grab the collar of her white coat roughly.
“What the fuck do you think you’re trying to pull?” Jane seethed as she pulled Aria down to her eye level, fury emanating from her in waves. “Do you think this is some sort of joke ? Are you trying to get him killed ?” She tried to keep her voice down, but it was hard to fight the angry desire to scream in the asari’s face. Aria just sneered at her before grabbing her wrists and shoving them away. Jane let go with a disgusted snort.
“How long have you known? From the start?” Garrus asked with a quiet, dangerous growl, and Aria turned to him with an amused quirk of her brow.
“Hardly. But it wasn’t hard to put together the pieces. I’m not as stupid as you seem to think I am.” She looked back at Jane and added, “Before you go batshit crazy on me, Shepard, take a look around you.” Aria raised her hand to gesture to the still cheering Talons gang. “The gangs who wanted Archangel dead are gone, wiped out by you, your brother, and Cerberus. All that’s left are a bunch of children playing at being soldiers.”
Aria’s attention shifted to Nyreen, but instead of looking irritated at the jib directed at her people, the turian’s eyes were wide as she stared at Garrus in undisguised awe.
“Are you really Archangel?” She asked in a hoarse voice, suddenly seeming much younger than she had minutes before. Garrus looked stricken and glanced about as though searching for some option other than answering her honestly. Jane had seen him boast about his feats and accomplishments to James while aboard the Normandy, but here on Omega made it all seem so much more real, so much more painfully raw.
“Not anymore.” Garrus finally murmured as he looked away. “That was-” He seemed to fumble for an explanation before continuing, “-another lifetime.”
“We thought you were dead. Killed when the other merc gangs took out your team. They all bragged about it, those that survived.” Nyreen stated thoughtfully as she took a closer look at Garrus as though truly seeing him for the first time. “Many of us saw you as a major inspiration, proof that Omega could be more than it is. More than it was. When I took over the Talons, I imagined we could follow in your footsteps to protect the people from those that would abuse and exploit them.”
“Oh.” Garrus blinked, a slight blue flush inching up his neck. “I didn’t- uh, I’m not-” He coughed, seeming to struggle with an endearing awkwardness Jane hadn’t seen in him for a while, and she felt an odd, hollow stab at the realization. Instead of acknowledging the fledgling emotion, she grabbed it and ruthlessly jammed it back down as she roughly grabbed Aria’s arm and pulled her away from the two turians.
“I swear, if anyone comes hunting for Garrus now that you’ve exposed who he was, I will make you wish those adjutant creatures had found you instead.” Jane hissed quietly as Aria shook her hand off.
“Watch it, Shepard. You’re lucky I like you, but my patience only goes so far.” She replied with an icey smooth voice that gave Jane a moment of pause. Aria noticed her hesitation and continued quietly, “The people of Omega – my people – love a good street fight. When it breaks loose, they’ll be ready. Nyreen’s code of ethics won’t let her sit by if civilians are exposed. Throw in her pathetic admiration for your boy toy over there…” Aria snorted, “She’s utterly predictable and therefore easy to manipulate.”
“Garrus isn’t just some expendable pawn in your game.”
“Then you shouldn’t have brought him along. I’ll do whatever I need to do and use whomever I need to in order to take back what is rightfully mine.” With that, Aria turned and walked away, effectively ending the conversation as Jane glared at her back. She looked back to where Garrus and Nyreen were talking with increasing enthusiasm, and she frowned.
Other than Nyreen, when was the last time she had any occasion to spend much time around a turian woman? When was the last time she’d seen Garrus in the presence of women of his own species?
Jane suddenly felt all the weight of their substantial differences. The fact that they were from different species was impossible to ignore, but for the first time she truly considered that with a level of trepidation that made her uneasy.
She didn’t feel jealous, she knew Garrus loved her and had no intention of running off with some woman he’d just met. But though she successfully schooled her face to neutrality, she couldn’t stop the unexpected upswell of insecurity.
Jane and Nyreen looked so different. From the elegant curve of her mandibles, to her slim neck, to her narrow waist, Nyreen was a prime example of feminine turian beauty by all standards Jane was privy to. Her limbs were slender and elegant, her plates were smooth and well defined.
Jane, on the other hand, was not what she would consider the epitome of human beauty. Sure, she was healthy, strong, and well toned, features that she usually prided about herself. But for the first time since she was a teen, she could hear a small voice in the back of her head wishing she could be one of those thin, elegant models that men drooled over in the vids. She had way too much muscle mass to ever be considered traditionally sexy, and she was riddled with other imperfections. Her freckles, hands covered in calluses, old scars, and-
She felt her heartbeat quicken and for a moment she swore she could feel a prickle of pain as envisioned the new network of marred and knotted skin stretching from her neck down one side to her thigh, encompassing much of one arm. She knew they were long since healed, but for a moment she could have sworn she felt them begin to burn all over again.
Jane pushed the tightening sensation creeping up her throat back down and forced herself not to finish that train of thought. Her attention returned to Garrus as he laughed at something Nyreen had said. He was such a wonderful person – sweet, thoughtful, funny, smart as whip, capable… The list could go on for ages. Why was he content to settle for some human, one who was far from perfect? With his current position in the Hierarchy, he could probably take his pick of women.
Just then, Garrus turned and their eyes met. He smiled that soft, gentle smile that she knew belonged to her alone, and she felt something in her shoulders unwind. The doubts ebbed and receded into the dark recesses of her mind. He loved her through and through, and that was enough. There was no point in questioning it. They’d always have each other’s backs, they always had. Shepard and Vakarian, side by side to the bloody, bitter end.
Jane flashed him a grin before spinning to follow after Aria. No time to fall prey to petty insecurities. There was work to be done.
The reactor above them crackled with energy, red light reflecting from the force fields surrounding it. Jane cursed as another mech pushed through the burning barrier, its weapon raised and ready. How had they let themselves walk into such an obvious trap? Of course Petrovsky had been expecting them to attempt to take the reactor to shut down the force fields surrounding his base of operations. There was no other option for them, so of course he’d prepared for the eventuality. It seemed so obvious now, in retrospect, as these things often did.
“I can’t hold this much longer!” Aria yelled from where she crouched, her arms wreathed in biotics as she held a hole in the barrier open. Nyreen stood above her, one hand raised to hold a biotic shield over the asari, the other hand gripping her rifle as she attempted to shoot any mechs she could get a shot at.
Aria’s grip began to slip and she groaned as the hole shrank by a hair. Jane cursed again. “Garrus! Go!” She barked before standing and laying down cover fire. Without hesitation, Garrus turned and threw himself through the hole just before Aria cried out and released it. The barrier snapped back into position as though the hole had never existed with a sputtering sizzle.
Jane ducked back into cover and her eyes searched for Garrus, breathing only once she saw him pulling himself to his feet on the other side.
“Spirits, Aria. How did you know you could do that?” Nyreen asked breathlessly as she pulled the other woman to her feet.
“I didn’t.” Was Aria’s curt reply as she pulled out her shotgun. They continued taking down the mechs, only for more to appear in their wake. Garrus quickly made his way to the controls, and Jane grit her teeth as she watched Petrovsky’s communicator fly off after him.
“ You can’t do this, Archangel. ” The man’s hologram stated, the projected voice echoing across the expansive room, “ There’s more at stake than you know . That reactor powers life support systems for dozens of wards across the station. Shut it down, and thousands of people will perish.”
“ You hearing this? ” Garrus called out over their comm system, and though it was Aria who responded harshly a moment later, Jane knew the question to be directed at herself.
“Yes, and I don’t care!” Aria snapped as she threw a biotic blast at a mech, knocking it back. “Shut it down!”
“Archangel, don’t! Try rerouting power away from the force fields!” Nyreen exclaimed, her face awash with panic. Jane leaned out of cover to shoot another mech, its head exploding in a shower of sparks and debris.
“Do what you need to do, we’ll hold until then.” Jane added, leaving the choice to him. Only Garrus could know at this point whether rerouting it was something he’d be able to do, and she had faith in him to make the best choice.
“ Damn it, hold tight down there.” Garrus responded a moment later, and Jane smiled grimly.
“Roger that.”
“Are you crazy ?” Aria yelled as she ducked, barely missing a burst of oncoming fire. “We’re almost spent!” She quickly changed out her heat sink then looked up, “Nyreen, watch your flank!” Jane took aim and fired on the mech sneaking up on the turian.
“Oh, come on, Aria. I didn’t think you were such a pussy. Put on your big girl pants.” Jane drawled, and though she kept her eyes on the enemy, she could feel the heat of Aria’s glare. They continued fighting off the oncoming mechanical army, and at the control station above, they could hear Petrovsky’s continued attempts to convince Garrus to stop.
Jane gasped and grunted as a shot finally shattered her shields, grazing her hard suit’s armor plating hard enough to bruise. Beside her, the two other women also showed signs of wear and tear. The mechs continued to push forward.
“What are you waiting for? Overload the reactor!” Aria demanded. “I don’t have time for your idealistic turian bullshit!” Jane pulled out one of the last of the grenades Kasumi had left with her and tossed it at the next wave of mechs as they passed through the force field.
“The three of us can hold out long enough.” Nyreen sent a shockwave barreling through them and Jane turned to gun down a pair coming up on her flank. “He cares about the wellbeing of the people of Omega. Unlike you, Aria.”
Aria ducked just in time, barely missing an attack as her biotic barrier flickered. “Are you honestly going to fuck around with the controls while your girlfriend gets her head blown off down here? Hit the fucking overload! Now! ”
A minute later, the force field flickered and died. “It’s down!” Jane called out, “Let’s move!” They lost no time in retreating to the control room, holding back the attacking mechs until they reached the door. As soon as they were through it, Garrus was ready and waiting to lock it down. The sudden silence was jarring.
“You all okay?” Garrus asked as his eyes fell on Jane, scanning anxiously for signs of injury. She nodded, but Aria scoffed.
“Despite your best efforts to kill me.” She looked down to check her weapon before shooting Garrus a murderous look.
“Did you manage to reroute the power?” Jane asked, and Garrus nodded.
“You jeopardize the mission all for what? A few measly lives?” Aria snapped before turning to glare at Jane. “I never should have let you drag him along. His bleeding heart is a liability and nearly cost me everything.” Garrus returned her glare whole heartedly, but it was Nyreen that spoke up first.
“Quiet, Aira. It worked. Archangel saved us without sacrificing innocent lives.” She turned to flash a thankful smile at Garrus, “I knew you were a protector of the people. I applaud you.” Aria’s cold stare shifted to Nyreen.
“When are you going to learn? There are no innocents on Omega.” Her voice softened slightly as she continued, but the coldness never left her eyes. “You fought bravely against those mechs in there, Nyreen. Very impressive.” She trailed off, but it was obvious she had more to add.
“But?” Nyreen asked, and Aria crossed her arms as she raised a brow at the turian.
“Why can’t you bring that same grit when adjutants attack?” She shook her head in disgust, “It’s pathetic. You tense up at the mere mention of those abominations.” Aria took a step forward and seemed to loom over her, despite being the shorter of the two. “What’s going to happen if we run into more, Nyreen? Huh ?”
“Leave off her, Aria. We wouldn’t have been able to get this far without her.” Garrus broke in harshly, his face pinched with anger.
“I’m trying to help her, Archangel .” Aria sneered, the name rolled off her tongue laced with sarcasm. “Call it tough love.” With a toss of her head toward the exit, Aria strode off. “The war’s starting, I don’t mean to miss it.” With that, she was gone.
“She’s never been big on thank yous.” Nyreen shrugged before following after. Garrus huffed a sigh of frustration as he turned to Jane.
“What’s with those two? They’re constantly at each other’s throats. Why can’t they be civil for even a moment? We’re on the same side here, but Aria has been nothing but nasty to her.” He muttered as he threw his hands up, and Jane couldn’t help the crooked smile.
“Physical violence is hardly the only way to hurt those we love. The closer you hold each other, the easier the knives go in.”
Garrus blinked at her for a moment, “Oh.” A pause, and then his eyes widened as he put the pieces together, “ Oh .” He turned to look after the two retreating women, his expression surprised and amazed. “The two of them? Seriously?” Jane chuckled before fondly knocking her knuckles against his chest guard.
“Come on, Archangel . We’ve got a station to liberate.”
Jane and Aria all but ran as they fought their way toward Afterlife. After Cerberus engineers had begun setting bombs around Omega’s central support column, she and Aria had split off to handle them while Garrus and Nyreen had hurried to lead the offensive against the main base of operations.
They arrived just in time to watch the two turians gun down a pack of adjutants in order to protect a few cowering civilians in front of Afterlife.
“About time!” Garrus called out, his relieved smile evident as he changed out his heat sink.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” Jane replied as Aria glanced up at the huge Cerberus logo above her club with a disdainful glower. Biotics sprang up around her as she took a menacing step forward.
“I’m sick of waiting. This ends now.” Without another word, she charged forward. The doors sprang open and two Cerberus guards appeared, guns raised and ready. Before they could pull the trigger, Aria’s hands flung forward and they were smashed backwards. “Tell your boss I’m coming for him!”
“Aria, wait!” Nyreen cried out before taking off after her. Jane and Garrus exchanged a nod before giving chase.
Jane paused as they entered Afterlife’s main floor, the room almost completely unrecognizable. For one, it was more brightly lit than she’d ever seen it. It also lacked the numerous dancers and bright holo screens displaying asari in various lewd outfits.
Before them on what used to be Aria’s loft, stood Petrovsky, his hands behind his back as he gazed down upon them with cold, steely eyes. His back was ramrod straight and his uniform starched to within an inch of its life. Behind him, the Cerberus logo was emblazoned upon the wall.
“A pity so many people had to die for your petty ambitions, Aria.”
“You’re a dead man.” Aria growled as she took a threatening step forward, her biotics wreathing her in an unnatural glow. Nyreen, Jane, and Garrus all came to stand beside her, their weapons raised and ready.
“What now, Petrovsky?” Jane called out across the empty room. There appeared to be no other guards or personnel, which struck her as more than a little suspicious.
“You did us the favor of killing off the last of the adjutants we hadn’t finished experimenting on.” The general smirked as a force field suddenly sprang up around the loft. Below him, a door opened and a familiar screech echoed through the room, sending shivers down Jane’s spine. “ These are fully under our control – the prototypes for our future army.”
With that, the creatures sprang forward and attacked.
As the final Cerberus soldier fell to one of Garrus’ headshots, Petrovsky’s defeated voice resounded through the speaker system. Jane cheered triumphantly as she finished hacking the door lock to the loft.
“ Attention! All Cerberus forces: Surrender.” The general called out as they hurried up the stairs to the loft. “ Cease and desist all aggression. It’s over.” He stood with his back tall as he turned to face them, his face holding every vestige of dignity one could muster after such a sound defeat. His eyes moved past the queen of Omega to land upon Jane. “Spectre Shepard. I surrender myself into your custody.”
“ That -” Aria whispered as she stalked forward until she was standing just before Petrovsky, uncomfortably close, “-is the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard.” With that, she backhanded him across the face, her biotics flaring as the wave of energy threw him backwards into the console behind him. He slumped to the floor before struggling to pull himself up.
“Shepard…” Petrovsky groaned, looking up at Jane, his eyes wide and entreating as Aria slowly closed in on him. Jane couldn’t stop the disgusted sneer from spreading across her face as she thought back to the destruction wrought across the Citadel by this man’s compatriots. “Shepard, please!” The man begged, scooching backwards as Aria bent down to grab the front of his uniform. Jane turned away, perfectly content to let the other woman do what she wanted with the defeated man. “I’m unarmed!” He yelped, “And I can give you information on the Illusive Man!”
Jane froze and looked back over her shoulder as Aria smashed Petrovsky down onto the console, one hand firmly gripping his throat. Her eyes found Garrus, his arms crossed over his chest as he, too, averted his eyes from what they both knew was about to happen. Nyreen stood just beyond, staring in dawning horror as the man began to choke.
“You’ll say anything to save your skin.” Aria stated with dry amusement, her second hand coming to join the first in its attack.
“But…” Petrovsky gasped, his hands scrabbling for purchase, “I let you… escape Omega!” He struggled for breath as Aria pressed down harder, “I deserve… mercy!”
“Is this true, Aria?” Jane stepped closer as she watched the asari’s face closely. Aria’s eyes narrowed as a small smile touched her lips.
“Inexplicably.” She stated firmly with full confidence as she leaned closer, putting her nose to nose with the general. “I think he’d agree now that it was the biggest mistake of his life.” She hissed as her smile grew wider, colder.
“But… this is… murder! ” Petrovsky’s voice was weak, his face beginning to turn shades of purple as he struggled for air, Aria’s hands gripping firmer still.
Jane’s thoughts began to rush, her hand stayed by sudden conflict in her breast. She usually trusted her gut, it rarely led her astray, but right now, she had no idea what was right. She was violently thrust back into a memory of a busy shopping district of the Citadel, what felt like ages ago. Before her stood a scared, defeated, and regretful turian, and behind her was a waiting sniper, begging for his chance at revenge. She looked up at Garrus again.
“That’s right.” Aria whispered, her voice suddenly as gentle as a mother crooning to her newborn babe, and Jane turned and stepped away, unable to watch as she tasted something sour. “Cold blooded murder. No less than you des-”
“Aria, stop!” Nyreen stepped forward and pulled back on Aria’s arm, forcing her to let up on the general’s throat. “He surrendered, you can’t just murder him! You’ve won, it’s over!”
Aria shot her a murderous glare, teeth bared in a snarl, but while she didn’t let go of Petrovsky, she didn’t press down further either. She turned slightly to glance back at Jane and Garrus.
“She’s probably right, Aria.” Jane ventured carefully, “If he can get us intel and a leg up on Cerberus, then we should use it. Every little bit helps.”
“There’s no point in saving Omega if Cerberus causes us to lose the war with the Reapers.” Garrus added with a nod. Aria glared at them both before returning her focus to the man who’s neck she had her hands wrapped around. She shrugged off Nyreen’s hand before slamming Petrovsky back down onto the console hard.
“Do you feel that, Oleg? That’s death , only inches away. Remember this feeling.” Aria muttered darkly before easing up slightly. “I’m letting you live – As a favor to Nyreen and for the war against your master.” She squeezed tightly for one last moment as she added, “You’d better cooperate.”
With that, Aria let go and stepped back from the console, leaving Petrovsky spluttering and gasping. She turned to Jane before nodding her head towards the general. “Take him, Shepard. You and your Council can decide his fate.” She turned and strode away angrily, “Just get this filth off my station.”
Jane watched as Petrovsky coughed and pulled himself to his feet, a hand coming up to feel his throat with a wince. Aria was out of earshot as she began barking out orders to Bray, who’d just arrived.
“Shepard.” The general looked up at Jane with weighing eyes, and she crossed her arms as she met his gaze. There was something about his expression that she didn’t like. “I’m amazed to see that you, the Butcher of Torfan, had such a… calming effect on Ms. T’Loak.” Jane felt her jaw clench, her eyes narrowing as her fists tightened. “I tried talking sense into her one time. I’m looking forward to hearing how you pulled it off.”
Jane snorted, “You think you understand a lot more than you actually do.”
“What?” Petrovsky shrugged flippantly, “From what I understand, high-ranking P.O.W.s lead fairly comfortable lives. Who knows? You and I may even become friends.”
Jane wasn’t exactly sure what it was – perhaps his flippant words, or the lightness of his voice, or the hint of a shrewd smile – but suddenly she saw red. The self control she’d spent the past few months carefully constructing snapped in an instant. Her fist whipped up and collided hard with the man’s cheek bone, sending him sprawling back down onto the ground with a cry.
“Shepard!” Nyreen gasped in shock, disapproval apparent in her outraged eyes, but Jane just turned away.
“Bray, get this piece of shit out of here.” She growled, and instead of his usual sarcasm and disdain, the batarian only nodded quickly before hurrying forward to grab the groaning general.
“Some things never change, huh?” Garrus chuckled as he raised a brow plate at her, and she rolled her eyes with a smile.
Aria was standing at the railing looking out over Afterlife when Jane joined her. Beyond, both Aria’s troops and civilians alike filtered into the club as they cheered in victory. Omega’s queen turned enough to shoot Nyreen and Garrus both angry looks.
“I’ve been waiting to kill that man for months.” Her eyes remained on Nyreen for a moment longer before shifting her gaze back out over her people. “Walk around with you lot for a few hours, and I go all soft. You’re like a disease .”
“A lot of people died for this victory, Aria.” Nyreen replied reproachfully as she came to stand on her other side. “It’s important to keep their sacrifice in mind as we go forward.” Aria snorted and eyed her for a moment before smiling slyly. She turned quickly and before Jane could react, Aria had grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a hard kiss on the lips.
Jane stood there in complete and utter shock, managing nothing more than a muffled noise before Aria thrust her backwards again like a rag doll. She fought to keep her balance, the sudden whiplash nearly throwing her off her feet. As soon as she had her barings, she leaned away from the asari, her hands held up before her in a show of innocence as she turned to look back at Garrus.
Her boyfriend was utterly motionless, staring with his mouth agape, no emotion other than pure surprise on his face. “Not my fault!” Jane stated quickly, her voice an octave or two higher than she was generally used to hearing from herself, and Garrus nodded slowly, his mouth closing with a click . Nyreen’s eyes were also wide, her mandibles held close against her face as she struggled to keep her face neutral. Aria stood with her hands on her hips as she rolled her eyes.
“It was a pleasure to work with you , Shepard, as always.” The statement was pointed, a clear distinction from the other two. “Thanks to you, I have Omega back.”
“It was a team effort, really.” Jane shrugged, still reeling, and Aria grumbled a noncommittal agreement.
They began discussing the terms of their agreement along with Aria’s plans going forward, but finally it was time for them to go. There was little else for them to do, and Jane was itching to get back to the Normandy and to John. She didn’t like straying too far from him these days, and they’d been separated long enough during her time recovering on the Citadel. At the very least, she’d clearly demonstrated that she was indeed ready to get back into the fight, that much was for sure.
After a heartfelt goodbye from Nyreen – perhaps directed more at her idol, Archangel, than Jane – they took their leave from Omega’s queen. As Jane and Garrus made their way through the throngs of people flocking into Afterlife to celebrate, they could hear the beginnings of Aria’s victory speech.
“So, are we going to talk about that kiss or…?” Garrus quipped with a grin, and Jane shot a deadpan glare at him as her cheeks burned.
“Shut up, Vakarian.” Her words were met with an amused chuckle that warmed her chest, and she couldn’t help but the answering smile.
Standing before the entrance to the docks was Bray, and he motioned them over. “Ah, running Aria’s shuttle little service now? What’d you do that landed you with all the crap details?” Jane asked with a smirk, her words designed to poke at his ego. Surprisingly, the man didn’t rise to her bait.
“Come on, Shepard. Let’s get you both back to the Citadel.” He stated evenly, something almost resembling a smile tugging at his lips. “You’ve got a galaxy to save. Let’s get you off this rock.”
Jane’s smirk softened into something more friendly as she held her hand out. Bray took it in a firm shake before releasing it and turning to lead them toward the shuttle.
“You ready to get back to it?” She asked as she turned to Garrus, and he chuckled as they followed after Bray.
“Ready as I’ll ever be.”
Notes:
I love doing these little (or not so little, yikes) insights into other characters. It is primarily Garrus' story, but I do really love writing Jane, too. I hope my Tumblr friends enjoyed the sneak peak I posted last week. I've also reblogged some things with hints about things coming up in the next few chapters (if you pay attention to the tags), so please consider joining me there is you're interested in that sort of thing! Thank you so much to all my readers, I'd really love to hear from you if you have the time! Any and all feedback is appreciated, even if it's just mashing your keyboard at me to tell me you're enjoying this. I also welcome your thoughts if you have suggestions.
Chapter 66: Part 3: Chapter 12
Summary:
In which Garrus is wiser than he gives himself credit.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 12
The Normandy SR2
It was the ache in his back, the stiffness in his joints, and the dryness of his eyes that told him how late it was. Garrus blinked as he looked down at his omni-tool, and the time blinked back up at him. It was late enough to be early.
With a groan, he pushed back from where he was crouching and slowly pulled himself to standing. Either the war was dragging on him, or he was getting older. Possibly both, but his knees were complaining, regardless.
It had been about two weeks since he and Jane had met back up with Shepard and the Normandy crew, and in that time, he’d been kept so busy that he’d barely had a chance to think. The upside, though, was that it had successfully distracted him from his many failed attempts to get ahold of his dad or Solana.
Yawning, he turned and made his way toward the barracks. Some sleep would be better than no sleep, and calibrations would go much better in the morning if he wasn’t seeing double. The lights were already dimmed for the night cycle, and they were even darker in the barracks as he quietly picked his way between the bunk beds. Silently, he pulled out his sleeping clothes, but paused at the light jingling of metal as he pulled off his shirt.
Looking down, he caught the faint shimmer of Jane’s dog tags from where they dangled around his neck. Garrus couldn’t help the soft smile on his face as he reached up to grab them. Running his fingers across the human letters, he turned to take a quiet peek in her direction. His smile quickly melted into a confused frown as he noted her empty bed. The sheets looked rumpled as though she’d tossed and turned, and he sighed disheartedly.
Garrus pulled on his sleep clothes and turned to leave. He knew where she’d be.
“Trouble sleeping again?” He asked as he stepped into the starboard observation deck. Jane turned from where she was standing before the giant observation window, wreathed in the light of a multitude of stars beyond. She smiled, but it was strained and clearly exhausted.
“Hey, Big Guy.” She murmured, and Garrus paused as he took her in. They’d spent countless hours together on one or the other of the observation decks, they were some of her favorite spaces on the Normandy. But there was something about her haunted expression and posture that immediately brought to mind one night in particular. One where he’d clutched her, broken and sobbing angrily as she struggled to process the events surrounding their mission against Morinth.
“What’s wrong?” He asked carefully, and her forced smile slowly disappeared.
“It’s nothing.” Jane stated without any sort of conviction, and he raised a brow plate in disbelief. “Seriously, I’m okay.” She sighed before jamming her hands into her hoodie’s pockets. Not for the first time, he wondered what happened to her old N7 hoodie. Burning on Earth, he supposed, along with everything else.
“Are you sure?” Garrus asked as he stepped up next to her, and she nodded.
“Yeah. I was just thinking about everything that happened at the mining facility on Mahavid yesterday.”
Ah. Suddenly, her disquiet made sense. Everyone who had been a part of the ground team had been left feeling uncomfortable and uneasy after the mission to find the researcher, Dr. Garneau.
“It’s their eyes.” Jane continued as she looked back out into the depths of space. “I keep seeing them whenever I try to sleep. Their blank, empty expressions. At first when I looked into their eyes, it seemed like there was just no one home. But then, it began to feel more like I was staring out into the empty void of deep space.” She paused, then shook her head. “Sorry, I don’t know what I’m saying. None of it makes any sense. Not any of it.”
Garrus knew she was speaking about more than her attempts to describe the miner’s eyes. She was referring to the entire mystery behind the so-called ‘Leviathan’. The artifact, Bryson’s death, and all the bread crumbs leading them onwards. Jane had been forced to clue Shepard in after everything that had happened, and he, too, seemed just as confused and baffled.
“Sleeping has never been particularly easy, but something about this mission just has me feeling uneasy. Indoctrination…” Jane trailed off as her arms wrapped around herself in a tight hug that mirrored the tension in her face. Stepping closer, Garrus put an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him.
“I know you’re worried about Shepard. We’ll keep an eye on him, but the only thing I’ve noticed about him is that he’s stressed and not sleeping well. I think, given the circumstances, both are fairly expected. You’re also having trouble sleeping, should I be worried about you ?” His mandibles flicked as he smiled dryly at her, and she rolled her eyes as she smiled back.
“Point taken. I don’t know what more I can do to help him, though. I feel like I’m failing him, like I should be shouldering more of this. No one man should have the fate of the galaxy as fixed upon their shoulders as he does. The decisions he has to make, they’re enough to make anyone crack.”
“I know. It’s a sign of how desperate everyone is that they’ve given him so much responsibility. We’ll keep doing what we can for him. Maybe we can convince EDI to help us lock him in his room until he sleeps or something.” That got a chuckle out of her. “Look, everyone’s feeling a little shaken after what happened on Mahavid. But we’re going to figure this whole thing out, and then we’re going to kick the Reapers’ ass. I have faith in Shepard, and I have faith in you.” Jane’s smile softened at that, and he could feel her relax slightly.
“Thanks, Garrus.” She reached an arm around his waist and pulled him closer. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“You’d probably have a higher kill count. I’ve been picking them all off a little too quickly for you lately.” Garrus stated, his voice lofty with bravado, causing her to laugh.
“That’s bullshit and we both know it. If only I hadn’t left my visor in my hotel room with the rest of my crap that got left behind when we left Earth, I’d rub it in your sharp, pointy face. I should get a new one next time we’re on the Citadel, but they’re expensive !”
They shared a laugh as they leaned into each other. Garrus’ mandible brushed against the top of her head, and he nuzzled her as he breathed in the comforting smell of her. They stood there for a long moment, he wasn’t sure how long, until she quietly broke the silence.
“Hear anything from your family?” Jane asked, and Garrus felt himself sag as he released his breath in a sigh. He couldn’t bring himself to respond, and he shut his eyes as he fought off the upswell of anxiety and dread at the thought of them. He felt her shift and then the cool softness of her fingers brushed against his mandible. “You will.” She stated firmly, no doubt in her voice.
Garrus opened his eyes and looked down to see her earnest gaze looking up at him. Spirits, if he had a credit for every time he felt like he could drown in those eyes, he’d be a very rich man. He had no words, his throat too constricted, but after a moment and a few deep breaths, he managed to change the topic to Palaven in general. They discussed the war for a few more minutes before falling into another easy silence.
“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you.” Jane stated, her voice upbeat as she grinned. “John got a message from Admiral Hackett not long ago. Guess who he heard from?”
“Who?” Thoughts and guesses ran through Garrus’ mind, each more unlikely than the last.
“The Migrant Fleet.”
“Huh! No joke?”
“Yeah, sounds like he thinks we can convince them to help with the Crucible project.”
“Well, that’s good news. Their technical expertise will be invaluable. Any news on why they’ve kept silent so long? I’m surprised no one’s heard from Tali yet, not even Shepard.”
“No, the message was pretty thin on details. But sounds like John’s set course to rendezvous with their Admiralty Board, so hopefully we’ll find out-” Jane cut off as she fought back a yawn, “-soon.’
Garrus grinned at her, “Finally ready to try sleeping again?” His grin grew wider as his hand drifted down to rest on her hip. “Or do you need a little help relaxing?” He asked, letting subvocals betray the suggestion. She turned to smile at him, a single eyebrow arched in challenge until his fingers dipped under the edge of her hoodie to rest upon her bare skin.
Jane froze, her smile melting as she stiffened. She jerked away, and Garrus frowned in confusion as he struggled with a sudden stab of hurt. She looked away, a hand coming up to grab her other arm with white knuckled tautness.
“Jane, what’s wrong?” He asked as he shifted to look at her face, but she stepped away as anxiety rolled off her in waves.
“It’s nothing.” She bit out tersely, the sudden 360 in her attitude from moments before giving him whiplash. Garrus brought his hand up to her shoulder lightly.
“Jane. Seriously, what’s wrong?” He asked again, his voice firm but gentle. Her eyes flashed angrily as they focused on him.
“ Drop it , Garrus.” She muttered through gritted teeth, clearly trying to keep a grip on her temper as she jerked her face from his grasp. “It’s fine.” He could see her jaw clench, the tension traveling down her neck. The new, light scars there caught his eye, just barely visible under the neck line of her hoodie. His breath caught as a suspicion wriggled into his brain.
They hadn’t been intimate since she’d gotten out of the hospital. They’d hugged and kissed and done other intimate gestures, of course, but there hadn’t been time or privacy for anything more than a little cuddling. That in and of itself wasn’t odd given the nature of their somewhat communal lifestyle aboard the Normandy and lack of personal space, but he suddenly found himself connecting dots he hadn’t been paying much attention to until just now.
Jane had been exhibiting odd behavior that he’d vaguely noted, but now seemed obviously telling. She’d never been ashamed of walking through the Normandy in little more than scraps of clothing in the past – sports bras and shorts were often her workout gear of choice. But now that he actually thought about it, he couldn’t remember her wearing anything recently that exposed any amount of skin beyond her hands and head. She’d been changing in the privacy of the bathroom and even seemed to be showering at odd hours. And just now, she’d jerked away the moment he’d touched her side, and that hadn’t even been the first time she’d done something like that recently.
“Jane…” Garrus swallowed before going all in. “Can I see your new acid scars?”
Her eyes snapped to his, wide with disbelief, and… Yes, he was almost positive he detected panic. She opened her mouth to respond, but after half a heartbeat, shut it again, saying nothing.
“I-” Jane finally spoke after a moment, swallowing as she struggled for words. “Garrus,” her voice was hoarse as she looked away, “They look awful. You don’t want to see them.” She was quiet, and if she’d been turian, he was positive her subvocals would be reverberating with shame.
“Do you honestly think I’d think any less of you because of some scars?” Garrus asked skeptically. He gestured to the damaged part of his own face and neck, “Have you seen me? I’m not exactly the poster child for smooth and unblemished plates.”
Jane’s frown lessened a hair, but her focus still remained somewhere around his elbow, so he continued. “Jane, look at me.” He said gently, and he smiled as, after a deep breath, her eyes finally met his. “I love you. You’re the most beautiful person in the world to me. Every scar on your body tells a story, the story of the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
She was staring at him intently now, drinking in every word like she was a withering plant and he was a life giving rainfall. “Turians aren’t ashamed of their scars.” He continued, “They’re proof that we survived, proof of battles fought and battles won. You got your scars defending one of the only hopes for the krogan people. I’m not going to tell you how you should feel about your scars or your body, but I’m proud of them. I’m proud of you .”
Jane continued to stare at him for another moment until the corner of her lips quirked upwards in a small smile, a break in the clouds that bathed the world in precious warmth. Her eyes softened, and then she reached her arms up around his neck, pulling him in close.
“How do you do that?” She asked quietly as she pressed herself closer as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Do what?” Garrus breathed her in, savoring the familiar smell of her. He could feel her smile against his neck.
“You always know what I need to hear. You always know what to say.”
Garrus couldn’t help the bubble of laughter. “I really don’t, though.”
They were both silent after that as they clung to each other. Beyond them, through the large window looking out into the heavens, the stars of a hundred burning worlds twinkled back at them. But in that moment, none of it mattered, as it so often didn’t at times like these.
Garrus finally pulled away enough to reach up to her hoodie’s zipper. Looking up, he waited for her permission. Jane tensed, but after a pause, she slowly nodded. Inch by inch, he pulled it down until it came free, and he ran his hands lightly up her sides until they reached her shoulders. Gently, he let his hands push the sleeves down her arms. Her breathing hitched as his hands left the safety of her tee shirt, and he froze.
“Is this okay?” Garrus whispered, and she nodded. His hands continued their journey until the hoodie finally fell to the floor. One arm was untouched, the skin as unmarred and unmarked as he remembered. The other, however, was criss crossed by a network of fresh scars all the way down to her hand.
He lightly ran his fingers down that arm until he reached her hand. Grasping it, he brought it up to his mouth plates, leaving the approximation of a human kiss upon it before flipping it over to press another kiss to the inside of her wrist.
Garrus looked up to see her watching him intently. Slowly, he leaned down as he shifted her arm to press another kiss to her forearm, right in the middle of the worst of the scarring. He could hear her deep intake of breath.
“You’re beautiful.” He murmured before releasing her arm reaching for the hem of her loose tee shirt. He waited until he saw her nod, and then carefully began pulling it upwards. She lifted her arms up over her head, and it slipped off, revealing the stretch of bareskin beneath.
Garrus worked to school his features as she watched for his reaction, but it was hard to remain impassive. One entire side of her torso was covered in twisted, glossy, red ridges and puckered, pockmarked blotches. It extended down until it disappeared under the waistband of her pants, and the pure size and scope of her new scarring was shocking. He could understand why she was struggling with the sudden and extreme change to her body.
He met her eyes again before taking both her hands and guiding her to one of the nearby couches. Using gentle pressure, he forced her to sit before lowering himself to kneel between her parted knees. With extreme care, being still unsure of her level of sensitivity even though they were completely healed, he raised a finger to gently trace the bumps and swirls across her skin. Leaning in, he pressed one last kiss to her stomach atop the point where her new scars met her original unmarred flesh.
“Absolutely beautiful.” He whispered against her skin before looking up into her wide and shining eyes, unshed tears just visible before she pulled his face to hers. Her lips pressed against his mouth plates with a desperation and need that made his breath hitch. When she pulled back and leaned her forehead against his, she was breathing raggedly.
“I love you, Garrus.” Jane whispered, “Thank you.” She took a deep inhale, holding it for a heartbeat before releasing it slowly. “Thank you.”
“I love you, too. Every part of you. Always.” Words weren’t necessary after that as she leaned in for another kiss, her hands reaching to pull him closer. Garrus knew she’d need more time to adjust to the changes to her body, but he was determined that by the end of the night, she’d be damn sure that he considered her as beautiful as the day he’d first laid eyes on her.
Or even, perhaps, considerably more.
Jane wasn’t the only one aboard the Normandy who had been struggling to sleep recently. A few days later, it was Garrus’ turn to quietly peel himself from his tangled sheets and carefully excuse himself from the barracks. The starboard observation deck was empty this time, and he found a comfortable spot to lounge as he considered the stars beyond.
The meeting with the quarian admirals had not gone exactly as they had hoped, and that was putting it mildly. So, instead of acquiring more assistance for constructing the Crucible, they suddenly found themselves speeding off toward an entirely different war, one that seemed terribly ill timed. Garrus shook his head and decided not to dwell on it. They would be arriving in a few hours, and there were better things to think about in the meanwhile.
In particular, he really wanted to do something nice for Jane, but he wasn’t quite sure what yet. He wanted to take her mind off everything, but he was drawing a blank. Some sort of date, or gift, or something. He wasn’t sure when their next shore leave would be, but he wanted to plan something .
Pulling up his omni-tool, Garrus began scanning through human relationship advice columns. He’d finally learned better than to rely on Joker’s ‘advice’ about women, especially after witnessing the other man’s halting attempts to woo EDI the past few weeks. It was sweet to watch, but also filled him with a bit of second hand embarrassment. .
The suggestions he was seeing online just didn’t really seem to fit the bill for what he was looking for. It seemed like gifts of jewelry were pretty common across species, but as usual, that just didn’t feel quite right, so he kept reading.
Garrus shut down his omni-tool and leaned back with a sigh. There had to be something . Something special, something that would take her mind off things, something that would make her smile. He racked his brain for ideas as he went through her various preferences. Perhaps some sort of special activity they could do together, or somewhere special they could go? What was something they’d regret not doing if they died tomorrow?
Blinking, a memory from his early days working in C-Sec on the Presidium popped into his head. Now, that would be something…
The door snapped open, and Garrus looked up as a figure hurried into the room. Tali stopped just before the large observation window as she placed her hands on the railing before her.
“Keelah…” She hissed in a low voice before bringing a hand up to adjust the fabric draped over her envirosuit’s helmet.
“Everything okay?” Garrus asked quietly, and she startled violently, crying out in surprise. Whipping around, Tali turned to face him, her bright eyes wide as her hand came up to her chest.
“Garrus! What are you doing here?” Her voice was high pitched, and he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Here, on the observation deck? Or aboard the Normandy in general? Because I do live here, you know.” He drawled as he stood and shrugged. Tali’s eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms in evident frustration.
“That’s not what I-!” She threw her hands up as she rolled her eyes. “Bosh’tet.” There was a smile in her voice, “It’s good to see you, Garrus.”
“You, too, Tali. Are you staying, or just visiting?”
“I’m not sure yet. It depends on how everything goes with the geth, I suppose.”
“Well, regardless, it’s good to have you back. Maybe with another dextro aboard, they’ll get better turian food.” He couldn’t help himself as he grinned and added, “Shepard has better incentive, now.”
He couldn’t tell if she was blushing, but the stiffness of her back and her incoherent stuttering gave her embarrassment away, so he decided to offer an olive branch.
“Doctor Michele did get me some dextro-amino chocolates.” Garrus thought back to the weird, random gift she’d given him during their meeting on the Citadel weeks before. “You’re welcome to them, if you want.”
Tali blinked, her head cocked to the side in evident shock, “She got you turian chocolates?”
Garrus shrugged, suddenly unsettled by how surprised she was. “Yeah, why? Am I missing something?” She stared at him for a moment and he shifted uncomfortably.
“Does Jane know about this?”
“Yeah, she laughed and stole one when I unwrapped them. Why?”
“Oh, no reason.” She replied in a complete deadpan that only made Garrus more confused. Maybe it wasn’t humans that were confusing. Maybe it was just women in general.
He changed the topic, “Too bad you weren’t here earlier. You just missed Wrex.” By a few weeks , he supposed, but time was flashing by so quickly, it felt like yesterday. “We came awfully close to having a full reunion of Shepard’s original team.”
“I heard.” Tali turned an interested gaze toward him, her voice amazed as she continued, “I can’t believe the genophage is really cured.”
“Shepard’s on a roll.” Garrus wondered if he sounded as proud of his friend as he felt. Thinking back, it was amazing how much they’d accomplished. But they still had so much left to do before this was all over and done with. “I figure if we can pull that off, we’ve got a shot at sorting the geth out.”
“I don’t know.” Tali crossed her arms and seemed to curl in on herself, her doubt and fear seeping out through her voice. She turned back to look out the window again. “The genophage didn’t carry rifles and fight back.” Garrus followed her gaze and leaned forward onto the railing as he grinned.
“No, but there was a scary bit with the mother of all thresher maws.”
“The what ?” Tali gasped, her tone waring between disbelief and astonishment as her head snapped back toward him.
“Long story.” His grin widened as he shrugged, “Nobody will believe it anyway.”
“With you , Garrus, I’d believe just about anything.”
“Oh?” He chuckled as he pushed back off the railing, “We should play poker sometime.”
“What do you mean? What does any of this have to do with human card games?”
“Oh, no reason.” He laughed as he thought back to their last game night. He’d done fairly well, all things considered. He hadn't started losing until Jane had started playing dirty. He’d never known the lover’s game of foostie could be so damn distracting. He shouldn’t be surprised she’d sink to such tactics, she had always been a little too competitive.
“Anyway, it’s good you’re back,” Garrus reiterated, all levity vanishing from his voice, “The war… It's been rough. For Shepard more than anyone. He’d been worried about you.” He thought about Jane’s worries and fears, and the shadows that never seemed to leave Shepard’s eyes recently.
“I wanted to send a message, but the Admirals forbid any outgoing messages after the Reapers attacked the other species in hopes of not drawing attention to the Fleet.” She paused, what little he could see of her expression wilting. “I’m so sorry about Palaven.” She murmured, and Garrus looked away as he nodded in acknowledgement. He tried not to think about it.
“When I first came aboard and saw Shepard,” Tali continued a moment later, “I was so surprised. He looks awful.” She froze, seeming to process what she’d just said before her eyes widened and she raised her hands, “That’s not-! I mean, of course he looks as handsome-” She coughed, her embarrassment overcoming her as she struggled for words, “I just mean that he looks so tired, so worn out. I don’t think he’s been sleeping well.”
“No, he hasn’t.” Garrus confirmed, and Tali shook her head sadly.
“I need to rejoin the other admirals soon, but I convinced him to lay down and sleep for a little while I was up in his room with him just now.” Garrus blinked and couldn’t help the flick of his mandibles as a crooked smile crept onto his face. Tali looked up at him before seeming to hear herself, her eyes widening. “I mean-! We didn’t-! That’s not what I-! We only-!”
Garrus burst out laughing as the quarian continued to babble, wringing her hands frantically. He didn’t know if quarians could blush like some of the other species, but he imagined she must be absolutely glowing at this point.
“I’m not judging!” He chuckled as she crossed her arms and looked away. “You’re both adults, what you do on your own time is your own business.” She turned to flash a glare at him, which only made his smile wider. His voice softened as he continued, “I’m just glad you’re back. We’ve all been worried about him, but I think he listens to you better than anyone else when it comes to self care.”
“Maybe.” Tali sighed, her voice weary and suddenly exhausted. “I wish I could do more for him. I hate that we’ve gotten sucked into this stupid war with the geth when we should be saving our strength for the Reapers.”
“I know. But we’re going to get through this, one way or another, and then we’re going to kick the Reapers back into whatever black hole they crawled out of.” Garrus stated firmly, and Tali stared at him for a moment before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him, pulling him in for a hug.
“Thanks, Garrus. I needed to hear that.” She pulled away before playfully punching him in the arm.
“Hey! What was that for?” He grumbled as he rubbed the spot, and she laughed.
“Since when are you such an optimist? I think you’ve been spending too much time with Shepard.” Tali laughed, and Garrus thought back to the very similar pep talk he’d given Jane in this very room not that long ago.
“Huh. I suppose you’re right. Guess I had to grow up at some point.”
Tali laughed again, “I’m glad to be back on the Normandy.” Garrus couldn’t see her smile, but he could sense it in the loosening of her shoulders and warmth in her voice. “You guys are my true family.”
The geth fighter’s door opened, and there was a flurry of activity as Garrus helped Shepard climb down into the Normandy’s shuttle bay. Bright red blood ran down his side from a gash in his hard suit and he winced as Garrus lowered him to sit on a nearby crate.
“Vega, Alenko, get John up to the med bay, ASAP.” Jane barked as her feet hit the ground, her shoulders squared and her face a stoney mask of barely contained fury as she took control of the situation. “Tali, you can accompany him, but I want you cleaned up and in the war room in one hour for debriefing. You, too, Legion.”
“ Affirmative .” The geth murmured with a bob of its head. Tali merely nodded as she hurried to Shepard’s side, her omni-tool out as she applied yet another dose of medi-gel.
“I’m fine. Really, I’m okay.” Shepard announced, his voice shaky and laden with pain. “I can walk on my own.” He stood, wobbled, and promptly sat down again as James and Kaidan both moved to steady him.
“John, shut up and let them haul your ass to the med bay.” Jane snapped angrily as she turned toward the armory and began devesting herself of her equipment. She’d already determined that her brother was not in danger of dying from his injuries, which clearly allowed her to focus on her building wrath following the quarian’s decision to begin shooting down the geth dreadnought before they’d even escaped.
“Jane,” Garrus followed after, widening his stride to catch up, “I know you’re angry, we all are,” he stated in what he hoped was a soothing voice, “but you need to calm down a little before you face the admirals, or else you’re going to do something we’re all going to regret.”
“I know.” She snapped as she threw her gauntlets down onto a bench before moving to the clasps on her chest piece. “I’m going to report to Hackett in John’s stead while he recovers, and then I’ll talk to the admirals about what happened. I’m sure I’ll be calm by then.” She sneered as she unzipped the top of her undersuit, revealing the sweat dampened shirt beneath. “Calm enough to discuss what the fuck just happened, at least.”
Garrus sighed as he, too, began peeling off his armor piece by piece. They finished removing their equipment in silence before heading up to the crew deck to shower and dress. The entire ground team was sweaty, bloody, and tired, but that didn’t stop Jane from pacing the elevator like a feral cat as it slowly inched its way upwards toward the CIC.
Despite his exhaustion and the ache that had settled deep in his bones, Garrus followed after Jane as she made her way to the comm room. She shot a hard look at the admirals as she passed them, and they exchanged glances before returning to their furious, whispered conversation.
Garrus stood by the door as he waited, only snippets of her report drifting through to him. His attention became more and more drawn to the admirals as their debate became less and less quiet. By the time Jane stepped back through the door into the war room, the quarians were all but yelling at each other.
“Your unilateral strike endangered us all! I should charge you with treason.” Admiral Shala’Raan exclaimed as she took a step toward Admiral Han’Gerrel.
“I was within my authority as admiral of the Heavy Fleet!” He retorted with a flippant toss of his hand that only seemed to anger her further. Jane paused beside Garrus to listen, her face set and her eyes steely.
“And what of Shepard and his team? And Tali’Zorah?” Raan gestured toward Garrus and Jane, and Gerrel shrugged before crossing his arms.
“They escaped unharmed!” He turned to nod toward Jane, “Spectre Shepard, the mission parameters changed. You used to be military. You understand that.”
“I understand that you ignored the plan-” Jane descended the steps quickly, her voice rising in intensity as she came to stand before the admiral, “-and changed it without thinking!” She leaned in uncomfortably close as she glared at him, her fist clenching as she attempted to contain her anger.
Gerrel uncrossed his arms and he stood taller, meeting her challenge, “The dreadnought was a perfect target!”
Jane’s control snapped, her fist whipping up to catch Gerrel hard in the gut. The older man gasped and wheezed as he doubled over, his arms coming up to grip his stomach.
“ Admiral, ” Jane sneered down at him, spitting the word mockingly, “you jeopardized your mission and your people!” Gerrel uncurled himself to stand after a moment, and Jane leaned in as she hissed, “Get the hell off this ship!”
“You can’t do that! You’re not the captain, you don’t have the authority to-” Gerrel protested, but the smile that graced Jane’s face was anything but friendly.
“Don’t have the authority ? Would you like a demonstration of my authority ?” With that, Jane pulled up her comm. “Westmoreland. Campbell.” She barked, “Get your asses in here and escort Admiral Han’Gerrel off the Normandy. Now.”
“ Yes, ma’am! ” Two voices echoed through the comm before Jane returned her glare to Gerrel, whose eyes had gone wide. They stared each other down for a heartbeat, neither seeming to give ground until the war room door swooshed open to reveal the two privates standing at the ready.
“Fine! I’m leaving.” Garrel muttered as he turned and winced before heading toward the door. He took the steps up toward the door and shrugged off Westmoreland’s attempt to assist him.
“Spectre Shepard, I know you’re angry-” Raan stated, her voice placating and anxious, but Jane waved her off as she narrowed her eyes.
“If we didn’t need your fleet…” Jane began, low and threatening, but cut off as Admiral Daro’Xen chuckled from where she stood behind Raan.
“Han only respects brute force.” She said as she smiled at Jane approvingly. “He doesn’t hold you humans in much regard, but maybe he’ll rethink his stance after this.”
Raan turned to shoot a glare at Xen before diving into the debrief. They began discussing what occurred surrounding the destruction of the dreadnought, including the crash landing of Admiral Koris’ ship on Rannoch’s surface.
Jane then successfully navigated the shitstorm that was Legion’s arrival in the war room, the tension of which was only slightly alleviated by the arrival of Tali soon after. Jane excused herself to check on her brother as soon as they had the semblance of a plan in place, or at least as much of one as they could have without Shepard’s presence.
Garrus followed after her, keeping right at her elbow as she strode through the ship. He couldn’t help but chuckle as he noticed a few of the crew saluting her as she passed. She might not want to admit it, but she’d gained a certain air of command these past few months. She’d always exuded confidence, but there was something different about it now. Weightier, perhaps. If he hadn’t known better, if he’d been a simple spectator along for the ride, he might have guessed this was her ship and her crew.
“You coming? Or are you just going to stand there staring at me like a goggle-eyed recruit?” Garrus blinked, registering Jane’s crooked smile rife with amusement. She was in the elevator waiting to push the button as he stood there, staring at her like an idiot.
Huffing a laugh, he stepped in and stood beside her as the door closed.
“You’re really something, you know that?” He murmured, causing her to quirk an eyebrow up at him. He didn’t elaborate, but he didn’t need to as her smile widened.
By dinner, Shepard was back on his feet, and Chakwas even let him eat the meal with the rest of the crew in the mess hall. He sat, albeit somewhat stiffly with all his bandages, at the table beside Tali as they ate, surrounded by interested crew members peppering the quarian with questions in the way they did after warming up to newcomers.
Most of the ground team was there as well, getting to know or reacquainting themselves with Tali. A little more strained were the introductions with Legion.
“Nice to, er…” Ashley coughed, her voice strained, before holding a hand out to the geth unit across the table from her, “Nice to meet you.” It looked down at her hand for only second before taking it in a firm grip. It seemed Legion was becoming more accustomed to organic greetings, Garrus mused as he remembered their awkward first meeting.
Tali and Legion seemed to get along fairly well, given the circumstances and the war between their people. Then again, the quarian’s attention seemed almost entirely focused on the Commander, much to Garrus’ amusement. He wasn’t surprised, though. Had he behaved similarly with Jane once he’d rejoined the Normandy after Menae? He couldn’t remember.
Garrus liked to think that he and Jane were more subtle about it. Or at least a little, somewhat. James still hadn’t caught on, at least, which still made Jane laugh. He might be the only person aboard who didn’t know about them, though. Regardless, he and Jane kept things mostly professional while around the rest of the crew, except perhaps when the alcohol started flowing. Shepard and Tali, however-
“So, what do you think about the Normandy’s retrofits?” Shepard asked as he leaned forward onto his elbows, his attention on the smaller quarian beside him. Tali’s eyes brightened at the question.
“It seems like there were some good upgrades, though I haven’t had much time yet to get my hands dirty down in engineering.” Shepard grinned at that before leaning toward her just a hair.
“There will be plenty of chances to get your hands dirty.” He said, and Jane snorted as she attempted to keep herself from coughing up the sip of water she’d just taken. Shepard and Tali, however, seemed to have forgotten about the rest of them.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Tali stated, her voice husky. “I might need a tour, I noticed that some of the layout has changed.”
“I can probably make a little time for you.” Shepard replied as he leaned toward her just a little more.
“How kind of you.” Tali practically purred, and one of the younger crew members stifled a giggle from where she sat on the quarian’s other side.
“Well, I care deeply about the quarian people.” Shepard stated stoically, and Garrus tried and failed not to roll his eyes as he smiled. It was cute and sweet. It was also a little nauseating, and he was going to give Shepard no end of shit about it later.
“It’s good to be back on the Normandy.” Tali murmured, the smile evident in her voice as she looked around the mess hall, and Shepard grinned wider than Garrus had seen in ages.
“Let me know if it’s too quiet for you to sleep, and I’ll find you someplace louder.”
“Well then.” There was the screech of metal on metal as Jane pushed her chair back abruptly and stood, picking up her tray. Without another word, she excused herself to the kitchen as she mimed gagging. The happy couple continued to gaze at each other, oblivious to the amused and exasperated looks they received from the crew around them.
“Okay,” James started hesitantly, finally breaking the silence that followed Jane’s departure from the table, “What am I missing?”
“Shepard and Tali became physically intimate during the fight against the Collectors.” EDI chimed in cheerily as though she were reporting the weather, and the smile instantly evaporated off Shepard’s face. There was a clatter from the kitchenette, and Garrus turned to see Jane leaning against the counter, her fist in her mouth as she struggled not to burst into laughter.
“Too much information.” James muttered as he averted his eyes, his brows shooting toward his hairline. Shepard’s face was already flushing red as he turned an irritated glare toward the pleased looking AI sitting across from him.
“ Thank you, EDI.” He stated dryly as embarrassment rolled off him like heat waves. The entire mess hall finally broke into laughter, and Garrus savored the sound. It felt like the further into the war they dredged, the more joy was sucked from the world. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Shepard so relaxed and happy, and the sight of him smiling had become a rare thing of late.
Garrus stood with his own tray and brought it back to the kitchenette to join Jane as she finished with her own dishes. She was grinning like an idiot, her eyes flicking up to watch Shepard laughing at something Kaidan was saying. He could tell her thoughts were in a similar place, some of her anxieties about her brother finally being eased somewhat.
She turned to look at Garrus, her eyes sparkling with laughter, and he felt something swoop in his stomach. Lifting his hand, he brought a finger up brush through her hair softly, and she leaned into the touch. Spirits, he wished he could just hit pause on this moment. Perhaps take a picture.
“Okay, everyone.” The bubble popped, and reality seeped in as Shepard stood and glanced around the room, his voice suddenly serious. “We’ll meet to discuss the mission tomorrow morning, but I wanted to give you a quick heads up now before you all hit the sack.”
The room instantly sobered as everyone turned their attention toward the Commander. “We have two important targets. Admiral Koris and his crew have crash landed on the surface and require rescue. There are also reports of geth fighter squadrons harassing the liveships, and Legion believes he knows how to stop them. We’ll be breaking into two groups in order to tackle both objectives. Some of you will be accompanying me to track down Koris, and some of you will be assisting Jane in discovering and disabling the fighter squadrons’ server.”
There was quiet murmuring throughout the room, but everyone looked determined. Garrus glanced back at Jane, who met his eyes with a tight nod.
“Go get some rest.” Shepard continued, “Tomorrow, we hit them with everything we’ve got.” A cheer went up across the mess hall, and as soon as it became apparent that Shepard was done, conversation broke out as they discussed the upcoming missions. Quickly the room became a bee hive of chatter, some voices excited, some anxious, but the energy quickly lent the air a hum of anticipation.
Unnoticed by nearly all, Shepard silently offered his hand to Tali, who took it and quickly stood to follow him toward the elevators. Garrus smiled as he watched them go. Turning to Jane, he offered her his own hand, which she readily took before dragging him off to find their own slice of calm before the storm.
Notes:
I have some exciting news: At the time of posting this chapter, we're a mere 2 kudos away from reaching 500, which is quite an achievement given the Mass Effect fandom's current size and activity level. Thank you so much for helping this fic reach this milestone! To celebrate, I've commissioned an artist to draw a small picture from one of my favorite scenes, and will be commissioning a few more in the next few weeks. I'll include the first one in the next update, but if you want to see it as soon as it's finished, come follow me on Tumblr, where I'll be sharing! If you have an idea for which scenes I should have drawn next, please let me know in a comment, I could use some suggestions.
Chapter 67: Part 3: Chapter 13
Summary:
In which Garrus foresees a tricky issue.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 13
Rannoch
Garrus paced before the pod, his footsteps echoing through the eerie, dark space. The room was otherwise silent but for the hum of far off machines, just loud enough to buzz faintly in Garrus ears, making his plates crawl as he was reminded of the seeker swarms of the Collectors.
Nearby, James sat on a low divider, his foot taping to a tune Garrus didn’t recognize. He stopped his pacing and gazed up into the pod, but Jane remained unmoving. Her eyes were shut, her expression even more blank and emotionless than when she slept, and it unnerved him. He couldn’t rip his mind away from the image of David Archer suspended against his will, forcibly networked with the geth. Shivering, Garrus wrenched the thoughts away. That had been different, even if the technology was related.
“ Jane, what’s your status?” Garrus jumped as their comm broke the silence. He hesitated for a moment before responding.
“Everything is fine so far, Shepard. Jane is, er- Well, she’s in the collective with Legion. I think.” Honestly, Garrus had very little understanding of how any of it worked. All he knew was that he didn’t like it.
“ She’s in the what?” Shepard asked sharply, his own confusion and anxiety evident. Garrus fumbled with how to explain to their Commander that his sister’s consciousness was currently not within her body. Or was it? The questions and what-ifs churned in his stomach. How had Legion phrased it?
“Apparently ‘direct virtual interface’ was necessary to remove the geth from the server so that we can disable the fighter squadrons.” Garrus explained slowly, and there was a moment of silence as Shepard digested the statement.
“ Wait, so she’s within the server itself? She’s digitally interacting with the geth?” Shepard’s voice had an edge, his displeasure with the situation evident.
“Yeah.”
“ That’s insane!” Tali’s voice broke into the conversation, despite having remained aboard the Normandy. “ You’re talking about a virtual world built for synthetics. Hostile geth synthetics! ” Garrus wondered if she, too, was remembering Project Overlord. Then again, most quarians had a healthy wariness of the geth, even if she was more friendly with them than most thanks to Legion.
“I know, I know.” Garrus sighed as he turned to gaze up toward Jane’s imobile body again. “But you try talking sense into her next time. See how far you get.”
“ Point taken. If it saves the liveships, then hopefully it’s worth it. Just watch out for her while she’s in there.” Shepard said with trepidation, and Garrus nodded even though no one could see him but James.
“Will do.” He replied, and they cut the connection. His eyes met James’ as he turned away from the pod, and they shared a nod before he returned to pacing.
The pod opened a minute later with very little warning. There was a click and a hiss as the door swung upwards, revealing a very dazed looking Jane. She seemed to notice them after a moment, recognition flashing in her eyes as they cleared. Shaking her head, she leaned forward, and Garrus offered her a hand as she steadied herself. Taking it, Jane lept from the pod, her feet landing heavily as she groaned.
“Jane, are you alright?” He asked hurriedly as James stood to join them, and she nodded as she released his hand and rolled her shoulders.
“Yeah, I think so. How long was I in there? I’m so stiff, I feel like I haven’t moved in weeks.” She began stretching her neck, wincing as it popped.
“A few hours, maybe two or three.” She looked surprised as she blinked.
“Really? I figured it’d been at least a day.”
“ The sensation of time passes differently within the collective. Your time experienced within the server is different from time experienced by your companions without.” They all turned to see Legion, its awareness also having been returned to its physical body.
“I see.” Jane replied carefully, “So, did it work?”
“ Geth fighters have been disabled.” EDI replied quickly over the comm. “ Any remaining squadrons attacking the liveships have withdrawn. The server is offline .”
Despite her words of reassurance, the sounds of multiple pods snapping open echoed through the room, and Garrus’ heart leapt into his throat as he quickly grabbed for his rifle.
“Are you sure?” Jane growled as her pistol came up to point at the nearest geth prime as it stepped from a pod, the light upon its head turning to focus on her. The geth all began stepping from their pods, and the reality of their situation settled into Garrus’ gut. The sheer number of them was enough to make it a hopeless cause, they were never going to make it out alive.
His grip tightened on his rifle. He was sure as hell going to try anyway.
But as the moments dragged on, no weapons were raised toward them, no attacks were made, not even a single threatening movement. No alarm was raised, and nothing happened as the geth simply gazed at them with something akin to interest.
“What’s happening?” Jane asked carefully, her pistol still drawn as she looked from geth to geth warily.
“ We have transferred geth programs from the server into these platforms.” Legion explained as a number of the primes assembled behind it, their stances still relaxed and at ease. Garrus whipped around as a handful of other primes stepped closer to stand just behind them, but they, too, made no move to attack. There was no sign of aggression whatsoever.
“Why?” Jane demanded, carefully eyeing the primes assembling on their flank before returning to glare at Legion. The lights illuminating the primes all flashed suddenly, flicking from red to blue in the blink of an eye, and they all moved to stand at attention. The posture looked odd coming from a geth, the show of respect out of place and alien.
“ They wish to join us.” Legion said simply, and Jane’s weapon slowly lowered to her side.
“They what ?” James’ voice was slightly higher than usual as his eyes snapped from prime to prime, his rifle still raised. “That’s crazy! Do you robots actually go crazy? ‘Cause that’s crazy!”
Legion quickly launched into an explanation, and slowly both Garrus and James lowered their rifles, though neither of them holstered them. Legion explained how the destruction of the Reaper’s infection allowed it to convince the geth within the server to join it.
“You planned this from the beginning, didn’t you?” Jane stated, less a question than an observation. After a slight hesitation, Legion nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“ We did not doubt you. We doubted your allies. ” There was the barest flick of its head upwards, and Garrus knew it was referring to the quarians in orbit above. It continued to attempt to explain its actions, but Jane slowly shook her head.
“I can understand not wanting to leave anyone behind.” She gestured to the primes around them. “Legion, everything you showed me within the server – the Morning War, everything the geth have experienced…” With a sigh, she holstered her pistol, “I think I understand the geth better than I did before.”
“ You accept our actions?” Legion asked as though surprised by the lack of anger, and Jane nodded.
“The liveships are safe, and we have more geth on our side.” She shrugged as though it were obvious. “We both did what we came to do.”
“Jane, are you sure?” Garrus started sharply, but she quickly waved her hand in an attempt to dismiss his concern.
“Don’t worry. I trust them.” She turned back to Legion, who seemed to stand taller under her eye.
“ Acknowledged. ”
“Glad to hear it.” Turning, Jane strode off toward the exit. “Let’s go.” The primes shifted and moved to allow their passage unharassed, and Garrus hurried to catch up to her long strides. James and Legion followed after them with the primes trailing behind. “Remind me to warn Admiral Hackett he’s got some primes coming.” Jane chuckled dryly.
“The more the merrier.” Garrus snorted, “The Reapers will put up a tough enough fight.”
“ We are aware. ” Legion chimed in from behind, and Garrus turned an amused eye on it. “ Geth are capable of calculating odds of victory over the Old Machines. ”
“And what are the odds?” Garrus asked, wondering if he would regret the question. Legion was silent for a moment as they turned down another passage, nearing the exit. Garrus wondered if the pause was because they were calculating the odds, or if it was just a hesitation before delivering bad news.
“ Better than they were before. ”
“Greeeat.” Garrus all but groaned, his question answered. Perhaps it was best that Legion was refusing to answer with exact numbers. The situation was depressing enough as it was. Jane slapped him on the back, her smile bright but hard.
“Come on. Let’s get back to the Normandy.”
As they stood at the rendezvous point waiting for their pick up, the primes strode off toward a nearby facility where they planned to acquire transportation of their own. Jane watched them disappear over a ridge, a contemplative expression on her face. Garrus thought back to her mention of what she’d learned about the geth while within their collective, and he couldn’t help but frown.
Jane had always had an interest in the geth and had always been quick to see them as living beings. He remembered her insistence that they not be rewritten back when they’d assisted Legion before the trip through the Omega 4 relay. She’d struck up a quick friendship with Legion and appeared almost fond of it, which seemed to extend to its people to some extent. Whatever she’d learned about them today, it had only cemented those feelings within her.
But it was no secret that her brother did not share those feelings. He held the quarians in very high esteem and had often spoken of his desire to help Tali with retaking her homeland. He’d never held the geth in very high regard even after learning that the geth that had followed Saren had been a small group of heretics. Discovering that they had requested assistance from the Reapers after being attacked by the quarians had done nothing to soften his views.
Garrus could feel a cold brick forming in his stomach. This war between the geth and the quarians was going to be resolved one way or another, and he just hoped it didn’t end with each sibling standing on opposite sides. Garrus was only one man, and he couldn’t side with both of them.
If push came to shove and he had to choose, what would he do? Where did his loyalties lie?
Garrus grinned as his fingers flashed across the Thanix cannon’s controls. It had been a few hours since their return from the geth server, and he’d had time to rest up and get back to work, though it seemed like interruptions were going to be a constant issue. That wasn’t to say the interruptions were unwelcome.
“ Telemetry data indicates the calibration of Normandy’s weapon accuracy can be improved by .32 percent.” Legion’s voice emanated from the comm, and Garrus thought he could almost hear a slight smugness to it.
“That’s all? You can’t squeeze .34 percent out of it?” He asked softly, his voice innocent as his grin grew wider.
“ Negative. That threshold is not possible.”
“You sure?” Garrus hit ‘enter’, and the code he’d been working on quickly finished compiling with a soft ding . “Take a look now.” He knew perfectly well what it said, and he knew he wasn’t imagining the astonishment in the geth’s voice as it goggled at the .43 percent increase.
“ How did you accomplish this?”
“A little secret we organics like to keep: always hold a little back for emergencies.”
“ Is our current situation an emergency?” Garrus didn’t know what the geth equivalent of a raised brow was. Maybe it was moving around those little flaps around its light?
“A geth meddling with our computers, telling me how to do my job?” He scoffed as he struggled not to laugh, “Nah, I can’t imagine that would qualify.”
“Stop teasing it.” Garrus spun to see Jane leaning against the door frame, her arms crossed and an amused look on her face. She pushed off and stepped into the room, and he smiled. “They still don’t understand sarcasm very well, despite my best efforts. EDI, however, is coming along nicely.”
“ Thank you, Jane.” They both jumped at the AI’s sudden interruption, “ I have sectioned off a portion of my processing power to be devoted to learning organic mannerisms, and I am pleased to report that it has only reduced the capabilities of the Normandy’s weapons suite by .28 percent.”
The statement was delivered with such sweet, innocent self-congratulation that it took a moment to sink in before hitting Garrus over the head like a brick.
“W-wait a moment! EDI, you can’t be serious!” He stammered, indignant outrage battling with math calculations for space in his brain as his eyes widened. “I work on these calibrations every goddamn day , and you’re telling me that you’ve been-”
“ That was a joke .” EDI cut in before he could continue, her voice flat in the manner of someone disguising their amusement a little too well. The room was silent for a moment before Jane burst into laughter. Garrus stood there, dumbfounded as his mandibles flicked absently, embarrassment washing over him as his anger quickly flagged.
“So, our weapons capability is still-?”
“ I would never do anything to intentionally endanger the Normandy or the crew, Garrus.” EDI reassured him, and he felt himself sigh with relief.
“Oh, man-” Jane wheezed as she slapped her thigh, her other arm wrapping around her middle as she continued to laugh, “That was amazing. Thank you, EDI. Did you see the look on his face?”
“ The surveillance camera in the main battery is placed perfectly for a good view of his expression if you would like a picture, Jane.”
“Yes, please! ” Jane grinned as her laughter began to peter out. Garrus deadpanned as he rolled his eyes.
“Great. Thanks.” He muttered darkly, which only made Jane’s smile brighter.
“Oh, cheer up, Big Guy.” She laughed as she stepped closer, and Garrus felt himself melt into her as she reached up to cup his face. “It was cute.”
“Happy to have been a source of amusement for you.” He stated dryly, and though his voice was laced with sarcasm, it was the honest truth. Nothing lifted his spirits quite like the sound of her laughter and the sight of her smile, even if it was at his expense. Their eyes locked and they both leaned forward to brush their foreheads together softly.
Garrus’ eyes drifted shut as he breathed in the scent of her, his muscles relaxing as he hummed. She leaned forward and pressed a slow, warm kiss against his mouth plates.
“How are you doing?” She whispered softly, and he couldn’t stop the tired sigh that escaped him.
“Honestly? I’m not sure.” Garrus replied, his voice low, causing her to pull away just enough to look up at him with concerned eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“I-” He coughed and looked away as he pulled back further. “I heard from my dad.” Jane’s expression lit up.
“Garrus! That’s wonderful! Are they okay?”
“I don’t know. He managed to get a call through to me shortly after we got back to the Normandy, but I could barely understand him, and the call was cut short. They were going to try to make it off Palaven, but I have no idea if-” Garrus cut off, his throat tight as his mandibles flared. He’d had a few hours to dwell on the call with his dad, but try as he might to distract himself, his thoughts kept returning to it eventually. He felt one of Jane’s hands reach up and pull his head down to rest on her shoulder, and Garrus’ arms came up to snake around her as he pulled her close.
“I’m so sorry, I can’t imagine how anxious you must be.”
“Yeah. I’ve been trying to keep busy. Keep my mind off it. I honestly don't want to talk about it, there’s nothing I can do until I hear from them again.” Garrus stopped himself from adding the possibility that they hadn’t made it. They both knew, they’d both seen the casualty rates.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“A distraction would be welcome.” He admitted, and Jane’s grin was feral as she reached for his arm. He felt the familiar building of anticipation in his core right up until the moment she summoned her omni-tool to activate her comm.
“Legion, meet me down in the starboard observation deck ASAP.” Garrus blinked, confusion jumbling his brain as his train of thought came to a screeching halt.
“ Affirmative .” Came the quick reply as she started dragging Garrus along behind her through the mess hall.
“So, what’s this about?” He asked warily as she flashed him a determined expression that he knew meant no good.
“Legion owes me a rematch, but the only way I’m ever going to beat its reflexes in Medal of Duty is if I have help. That’s where you come in.” Jane explained lightly, but he could hear the carefully concealed eagerness.
“Seriously, Jane? You smashed your head against this problem incessantly back during the Collectors mission. I don’t think Legion can be beaten.”
“There’s only one way to find out.” The door to the observation deck opened, and they froze as Tali looked up at them sharply from where she sat on one of the couches. Her eyes went wide and she quickly dismissed her omni-tool, shoving her arm behind her back as though she were trying to hide it.
“Oh! Um, hello guys. I was just-”
“What were you doing just now, Tali?” Jane asked with carefully crafted nonchalance, subtly tinged with smugness as she grinned. “Surely you weren’t doing anything inappropriate now, were you?”
“No, I wouldn’t! It’s nothing like that !” Tali’s voice was higher than usual as she denied the allegations, which only seemed to amuse Jane further.
“Then why are you so-” Jane began, but was cut off as the door opened just behind them.
“ Creator Tali’Zorah was playing ‘Fleet and Flotilla: Interactive Cross-Species Relationship Simulator’.” Legion stated offhandedly as it joined them.
“Thank you, Legion.” Tali stated glumly, her glare sullen and unamused. Garrus saw Jane bite her lip in an attempt to hide her smile.
“That sounds… fun.” She stated diplomatically, and Tali sighed.
“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”
“ We, too, have attempted to achieve a passing score in this game. The results have been…” Legion paused, its head drooping slightly as its gaze dropped to the floor, “sub-optimal.”
The three of them turned to look at Legion in surprise, and Tali’s head tilted to the side as she considered it for a moment. “Would you… would you like me to teach you, Legion?” She asked, the invitation tentative and unsure. Legion seemed to perk up, tilting its head to a similar degree.
“ An exchange of data regarding the topic of this game would be appreciated, Creator Tali’Zorah.” Tali’s eyes crinkled at its response and she patted the spot on the couch beside her.
“Come here, Legion.” She said with friendly warmth, and the geth carefully lowered itself down beside her. They pulled open their omni-tools, and leaned their heads together as they began discussing the game in low voices.
“Well then.” Jane blinked as she crossed her arms. “I guess that ruins my plan. No reason why we can’t play some Medal of Duty, though. You game?” Garrus grinned at her, more than a few of his sharp teeth on display.
“I don’t know, you ready to lose?”
“ Ooh ho, you’re on. Get ready to eat shit, Vakarian.”
As they stepped out of the shuttle and onto the hard packed dirt the next day, Garrus took in the beautiful vista before them. It was heading toward dusk, the sunlight stretching across Rannoch’s surface from an oblique angle that lengthened the shadows around them.
“I can see why the quarians were so desperate to return, it’s really beautiful.” Jane muttered as they watched Tali stare around in awe, Shepard by her side.
“Yeah. It does have a certain charm.” Garrus replied as he came to stand beside Jane, checking his heat sink.
“It’s nicer than the shit stained, overcrowded city I grew up in. If you looked up, you could see the sky, but there wasn’t much else in the way of ‘natural spaces’. Not in the neighborhoods people deigned to allow our existence, at least.” She snorted in mild disgust at the memory.
Garrus turned a sad frown in Jane's direction. She said things like that so offhandedly sometimes, as though it wasn’t utterly heartbreaking. He liked to complain about what his childhood had been like growing up with his dad the way he was, but listening to stories of the Shepards life on Earth always put things in perspective.
Beyond them, Shepard leaned down to pick up a small rock before standing and placing it in Tali’s hand. They stood there, talking quietly together as they both held onto the rock and each other, the softness of Shepard’s smile betraying the personal nature of their conversation.
“Come on, those two have canoodled long enough. Let’s get this show on the road.” Jane stated as she strode off toward the Reaper base.
“Always so impatient!” Garrus chuckled as he followed afterwards. “I’m starting to think you’re excited about facing down an army of geth and only-spirits-know what else waits for us in there.” She flashed him a rude hand gesture over her shoulder, and he laughed.
“Let’s do this!” James called out as he followed behind, Ashley and Kaidan hot on his heels. Liara turned a small smile to where Shepard and Tali stood nearby before she, too, trailed after the others. EDI and Javik followed silently after the asari.
“Shepard! Tali!” Garrus called out to them before gesturing onwards, and they looked up at him before nodding their acknowledgment. Together, the team picked their way around the rocks and boulders as they approached the base looming before them.
They stepped out onto the platform overlooking the chasm below, and Garrus couldn’t stop the shiver of anticipation. The entire team leaned forward to gaze down at the Reaper device responsible for directing the geth forces opposing the quarians.
“Damn, is that it?” Jame muttered, and Liara nodded slowly.
“I believe so. Shepard, do you still have the targeting device?”
“Yeah, right here.” Shepard replied as he stepped forward to the edge. He pulled out the targeting laser and checked it quickly before gazing downward one more time.
“This battle was centuries in the making.” Tali murmured in awe. “To see it finally end…”
“I know. We’re seeing history in the making.” Kaidan nodded, causing Ashley to bark an amused laugh.
“ Seeing ? We’re the ones making history. Again!” They shared a tired chuckle at that, before Shepard let loose a sigh.
“Let’s do this.” He took aim, the laser zeroing in on the dull red light in the chasm below. As it finalized its targeting, the device let loose a loud tone of acknowledgement, and a moment later, EDI perked up where she stood nearby.
“ Target locked! ” The Normandy’s silhouette was suddenly visible, growing larger by the second as it approached.
“Everyone, brace yourselves!” Shepard called out, and they all reached for a hand hold as they ducked down. The Normandy released a series of missiles as it flew by, which careened directly toward the target Shepard had indicated with the laser moments before.
They all expected the explosion. What surprised them was the ear shattering screech that followed.
“What the hell was that?” Jane yelled just before the entire base shook again. It was more than just a shockwave from the Normandy’s attack, and they all struggled to keep their footing. “John!”
Garrus looked up to see Jane dart forward in an attempt to grab her brother as he stumbled and pitched forward off the platform. Below, he heard Shepard hit the ground hard and groaned, but his attention was quickly distracted as something dark blotted out the sun before them. Something large and horrifically familiar.
“Reaper!” Shepard exclaimed as he struggled to his feet, and the gigantic machine looming above them screeched in rage again.
“Shit!” Jane hissed as she leapt down to the platform below to stand beside the Commander, quickly followed by the rest of the team.
“ We have located transportation! ” Legion’s voice broke over their comm, and they turned to see the sudden arrival of a geth fighter.
“Copy that!” Shepard yelled as he pointed in Legion’s direction. “Everyone get to that ship! Move!” They all took off running as the Reaper thrashed about, clearly damaged in some way by the Normandy’s attack. As they approached the fighter, the Reaper’s erratic movements seemed to slow, becoming more and more intentional as it got its barings.
“How are we supposed to fight that thing?” Tali cried out as they ran, debris from the explosion still raining down around them.
“I was hoping your fleet might lend a hand!” Shepard replied urgently as they skidded to a stop beside the large vehicle. A hostile geth dropped down from above, but as it unfurled itself, Jane’s fist whipped out and caught it in the back of its head. It pitched forward, and Garrus followed up her attack with a few shots from his pistol, its light going out as it deactivated.
“Move, move, move!” Shepard gestured to the fighter’s open hatch, and one by one they all threw themselves into it. As the last person crawled up into the very tightly packed storage area, Shepard slammed the door shut from the outside.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Jane yelled through the comm as her eyes went wide with sudden fear. The ground vibrated as the Reaper took a shaky step toward them.
“ I’m going to take the turret up top and keep it off us! Legion, get us the hell out of here!”
“You better hold on tight, and don’t you dare forget to duck!” Jane snarled as the fighter hummed to life.
“ We will attempt evasive maneuvers!” Legion called out as they shot forward. The trip was anything but smooth as they escaped the base, the hollow thuds of the Reaper’s movement echoing through their chest cavities. There was nothing for them to do but cower as Legion piloted them away as quickly as possible. They could hear the vibration of the turret above them as Shepard attempted to damage the Reaper further, but they all knew that was all but pointless against something of that magnitude.
“ Shepard to Fleet: It’s not a Reaper base! It’s a live Reaper! I need an orbital strike! ” He was met with echoing silence over the comm, and Garrus felt his heart sink. Were they all alone in this? Their small team and a single geth fighter against an actual Reaper ? “ We’re clear! Fire at will!”
The explosion that followed was nearly enough to send them into a tailspin. “ What did we hit? ” Admiral Gerrel asked anxiously, and the entire team waited anxiously as the geth fighter came to a stop.
“ The firing chamber.” Shepard announced triumphantly. “ Looks like a weak point when it’s priming.”
“ Damn it, their jamming towers have us targeting manually.” Gerrel hissed angrily, and a moment later, the fighter leapt forward again. “ We can’t make a precision shot!”
“We may escape before it recovers .” Legion pointed out quickly, and the fighter picked up speed.
“ No. Pull over.” Shepard said firmly, his voice that of command. Legion quickly brought them to a stop.
“ Shepard-Commander?”
“If we run away, the geth stay under Reaper control, and the quarians are dead. This ends now!”
“What, are we just going to fight the damn thing on foot?” Jane demanded, but Shepard ignored her as he instructed EDI to sync the targeting laser up to the entirety of the quarian fleet.
“ Do you need assistance?” Legion asked, and Garrus felt Jane attempting to press past him toward the fighter’s hatch.
“Of course he-”
“ Just stay down, Legion! I’ll take it from here, get the rest of the team to safety!”
“What the hell, John! Over my dead fucking body!” Jane hollered as she banged an angry fist on the hatch. “Legion, let me out! There’s no way I’m letting him face that thing on his own!”
“ Shepard-Commander-” Legion hesitated, glancing back at them from where it sat in the cockpit, “ Good luck. ”
“ Acknowledged.” Shepard stated, and Jane let out an angry scream as the fighter lurched forward once more.
“Turn this goddamn thing around, you bucket of fucking bolts!” She yelled at Legion as she began squeezing herself through the space so clearly not designed for organic passengers. Garrus grabbed her arm, and she turned to look back at him, her eyes flashing, her face a mask of barely contained rage as she fought against his grip.
“If this doesn’t…” Tali began from nearby, her voice hoarse and thick with emotion, causing Jane to pause, “If we don’t make it…”
“ You worry too much.” Shepard chuckled, his voice filled with warmth.
“I love you.” Tali stated with conviction, and Garrus felt some of the tension leaching out of Jane as she stopped fighting him.
“ Keelah se’lai.” Shepard whispered before ordering another orbital strike, the explosions crashing through the echoing silence of the geth fighter.
Notes:
The beautiful sketches I commissioned from @destinysquared are complete and available on Tumblr! Please go check them out!
Thank you so much for all the support and congratulations on the milestone! I appreciate it so much and it was such a pick-me-up. I love hearing from everyone, even if its just the equivalent of face rolling the keyboard. Special shout out to brinnybee for the gift of a writing session at the cafe with some wonderful tea! Thank you so much!
Chapter 68: Part 3: Chapter 14
Summary:
In which Garrus desperately needs a coffee.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 14
Rannoch
The fighter sped onward, rocked by shockwaves, forcing Jane to search for a handhold.
“Goddamn it, John.” She hissed under her breath. “If you die again, I’m going to fucking kill you.” Her face was pale, ashen in the artificial light shining down on them.
Somewhere behind them, the Reaper continued its unnatural screeching, and Garrus wondered in awe if this was what an injured Reaper sounded like. The intervals between the explosions slowly began to decrease, and after a few tense minutes, one of Jane’s hands reached for his arm, her jaw clenched. She didn’t look at him, her eyes locked on where Legion sat, and Garrus brought his other hand up to lie over hers in support.
Soon, there were no gaps between explosions, the constant barrage jostling them hard against each other in the small space.
“EDI, what’s happening?” Jane demanded, and the AI hesitated for a moment as though considering.
“ The fleet is bombarding the Reaper. It appears to be… working .” She seemed unsure, but cautiously optimistic. The anticipation was thick in the air as everyone leaned forward. Even Legion appeared more alert as they waited. They could hear the far off hum and buzz of the Reaper’s mechanical body with each faltering step it took.
There was one final reverberating screech, its haunting dissonance enough to send shivers down Garrus’ spine, followed by the deafening sound of something massive collapsing to the ground.
“ We did it! The Reaper is down! ” Shepard’s triumphant voice echoed through the comm, and suddenly the small space within the fighter erupted into screams of joy and victory as the entire team cheered.
“Legion! Turn this thing around! Now!” Jane called out, and without a word, the geth acquiesced. Garrus had no idea how long their retreat away from the Reaper had taken, but the trip back was remarkably short. Their congratulations and good cheer melted as another loud screech crashed over them, this time in a language their translators could understand.
“ SHEPARD .” The echoing voice was a cacophony within Garrus’ brain – teeth gnawing on the back of his skull, insects scurrying down his spine, feelers curling painfully into his flesh. He clenched his jaw and noticed the tension suddenly emanating from those around him as well. The voice continued after a moment, its words intersected with patches of silence as though-
“Is he talking to it?” Jane hissed, a snarl on her face as her fist gripped a nearby handhold tight enough for her hard suit to creak. No one responded, but the answer was clear. “Legion, can this thing go any faster?”
As soon as the fighter pulled to a stop, the hatch popped open and Jane was the first to throw herself through it. Garrus was hot on her heels, but they froze as they observed the colossal form of the damaged Reaper, its bright, beady red eye glaring up at Shepard where he stood on the overlooking cliff.
“ WITHOUT OUR INTERVENTION, ORGANICS ARE DOOMED. WE ARE YOUR SALVATION. ” The voice was even louder, more intrusive now that they stood just before it. It made Garrus’ soul itch, his entire being spasming. Shepard looked back at them as they stared at the Reaper with thinly veiled horror before returning his focus.
“I have a better idea:” He stated boldly, his arms crossed as he stood confident and unafraid, “we destroy you and live our lives in peace.”
“ A PHILOSOPHY REMINISCENT OF THE QUARIANS. OBSERVE THE RESULTS. WE ARE YOUR ONLY HOPE FOR THE PRESERVATION OF HUMANITY .”
“You-” Shepard sneered down at the Reaper, his back held high and his shoulders broad, “Whatever species you came from, before the Reapers decided to ‘ preserve’ them?” He snorted in disgust, his voice bitter as he continued, “They’re dead . They died thousands of years ago.”
Garrus watched the red light staring up at them suddenly vanish, and he spared a moment to wonder if anything of that long dead species had still resided within the Reaper, any essence of them at all. Or were they well and truly gone?
“And now they can rest in peace.” Shepard muttered hoarsely as his shoulders sagged. They all stood there in shock for a moment as they watched the Reaper for any sign of life. None came, and reality soon started to set in as tension began leaching out of them.
“ You -” Garrus blinked in surprise as Jane stalked toward Shepard, who turned just in time to catch her as she flung herself at him, “-bastard! You magnificent bastard! You did it! You really did it!”
“Whoa there, let’s not tip backwards off the cliff and join that thing, yeah?” Shepard chuckled as he returned his sister’s enthusiastic hug. Jane stepped back after a moment before punching him hard in the arm. “What the hell! Always with the hitting! What did I do this time?” He rubbed his arm as he glared at her with an amusing amount of petulance.
“You just had to play the big goddamn hero! Again!” There was a hint of anger in her voice, but her joy easily overshadowed it as she grinned up at him, unable to hide her relief.
“We really did it.” Tali said in awe as she stepped closer to the edge, looking down at the Reaper’s corpse. “We killed a Reaper. Keelah…” As both Legion and Admiral Gerrel confirmed that the geth had stopped firing on the quarian fleet, the rest of the team stepped forward to gaze upon proof that the Reapers could, in fact, be killed. They fell into silence as the truth settled in.
“Shepard-Commander,” Everyone looked up as Legion spoke up abruptly, “ The geth only acted in defense after the creators attacked. ” Shepard’s expression became wary as he listened. “ Do we deserve death?”
“Of course not.” Jane replied, her voice sharp as she, too, turned to look at the Commander. “Tell the Fleet to call off their attack. If we don’t act quickly, the quarians are going to wipe out the geth.” Shepard held up a hand to quiet her, his eyes narrowing as they focused on Legion.
“What are you suggesting?” Shepard asked carefully, his thoughts guarded.
“ Our upgrades. ” Legion stepped forward to join the team that stood overlooking the Reaper. “ With the Old Machine dead, we could upload them to all geth without sacrificing their independence.”
“What would happen to your people if you did that, Legion?” Jane asked thoughtfully as she brought a hand up to her chin in consideration. Garrus saw the terrified expression that crossed Tali’s face at the turn in the conversation and the desperate look she turned on Shepard, whose brows drew down.
“ Each geth would be a true intelligence, complete with free will. We would be alive, and we could help you.”
“John,” Jane turned to her brother, her expression open and earnest, “They deserve the same chance at life that the rest of us do. We should let it upload the code.”
“No!” Tali stepped between them before bringing a trembling hand up to rest on Shepard’s arm. “Our fleet is already attacking! Uploading the code would destroy us!” Garrus could feel a vague nausea churn in his stomach as he saw Shepard’s hard eyes lock with Jane’s. Tali took a half step closer as she looked up at him pleadingly. “Shepard, you can’t choose the geth over my people!”
Legion looked down at the ground before slowly glancing up at Tali. “ Do you remember the question that caused the creators to attack us, Tali’Zorah?” It turned to Jane before adding quietly, “ Does this unit have a soul?”
“Of course you do.” Jane asserted before turning back to her brother. “John, call off the attack! Please give them a chance. The geth don’t deserve to be destroyed any more than the quarians do.” Tali shot Jane a wild look of fear before grabbing Shepard’s hand with both of hers.
“ Please , Shepard!” She begged, and Garrus’ heart broke at the torn expression on Shepard’s face as he looked between them in desperation, his mind racing for a solution.
“Legion, how can we possibly trust the geth after everything? After Eden Prime, the attack on the Citadel?” Shepard asked beseechingly, and Legion’s facial plates seemed to spasm as it considered the question.
“ Those attacks were perpetrated by a faction of geth which no longer exists. We thought you understood this. Should an entire species be held accountable for the actions of a few? Do we deserve to die for their crimes?”
“Okay, fair point. But then what about what happened here? The geth willingly subjected themselves to the Reapers! How can we trust you after that ?”
“ Organics are biologically programmed for self preservation just as we are. The geth saw the Reapers as the only hope for survival when the Creators attacked. Without fear of further attack, we can focus on assisting you in defeating the Reapers. We do not wish the Creators harm, only to live in peace.”
“You know peace has to be an option, John.” Jane stated firmly, her expression intent and determined. Shepard finally sighed and shut his eyes as he looked away.
“Fine. Upload the code.” His voice nearly cracked as he forced the words out. Looking down at Tali, he took her hands in his. “Tali, call off the fleet if you can.” The quarian took a shaky step backwards, yanking her hands away from the Commander as though burned. Her fingers trembled as she pulled up her comm.
Beyond them, Legion began uploading the code, announcing its progress in a clear voice.
“This is Admiral Tali’Zorah. All units, break off your attack!” Tali demanded over the comm, but the words had hardly left her mouth when Gerrel cut in, belaying her order.
“ Twenty percent.” Legion announced, and Garrus stepped up beside Jane.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” He whispered, and she turned a stoney expression on him, her jaw clenched as she watched Legion work.
“I’m not letting the quarians commit genocide, no matter what the geth have done. No species deserves that, artificially created or not.”
“Jane, they won’t listen to me!” Tali exclaimed as she whipped around to face them, “If the geth return to full strength, they’ll destroy my entire people! I can’t let that happen! Please, make Legion stop!”
“The geth don’t want to fight you!” Jane shot back with a harsh swipe of her hand. “But time after time, the quarians have given them no choice but to defend themselves!”
“Have you forgotten everything that happened during the hunt for Saren?” Shepard asked as he came to stand beside Tali. “They nearly destroyed the Citadel by helping Sovereign. The Reapers would have slaughtered everyone!”
“But that was just a small splitter group! Like Legion said, you can’t hold the entire species responsible for an act committed by just a few! Following your logic, all humans deserve to die because of Cerberus’ actions, too!” Jane jabbed an angry finger in Shepard’s chest, and Garrus could tell that her point had landed. Shepard seemed to hesitate before looking back at Legion.
“ Hell .” He spat, his voice full of disgust and frustration. “Legion, keep going.”
“Shepard?” Tali’s voice was small and frightened, her eyes wide as she looked up at him, her shoulders sagging.
“Everyone, listen up!” Shepard barked into his comm, his voice reaching out to the entire fleet. “This is Shepard. If you don’t want to be blown out of the sky in about half a minute, stand down now .”
Jane’s face held a hopeful light as they all waited anxiously for a response. Tali quickly pulled up her comm as well.
“This is Admiral Tali’Zorah. Shepard speaks with my authority.”
“ And mine as well. ” came the sudden voice of Admiral Koris, and Garrus felt a shred of tingling hope creep along his limbs.
“ Negative! We can win this war now! Keep firing!” Gerrel barked heatedly, and Jane cursed, her words colorful and creative as she ran an anxious hand through her hair.
“ Sixty percent .” Legion reported, and Shepard nodded his understanding even as sweat broke out across his brow.
“The geth are about to return to full strength. If you keep attacking, they’ll wipe you out.” Shepard informed the fleet over the comm. There was no response, so he continued his push, “Destroying the geth is not the solution, and the quarian people are better than this. The geth don’t want to fight you. Everything they’ve done against you has been in self defense. If you can believe that for just one minute , this war will be over.”
Garrus could hear the desperation in Shepard’s voice as he spoke, his words carrying the depth of his fear as his eyes never left Tali’s. He prayed the Commander’s earnest entreaty would be enough, or else there would be no way to prevent the bloodshed.
“You have a choice. Please .” Shepard pleaded quietly, “Keelah se’lai.”
His words were met with silence, and Garrus could feel his heart beginning to hammer as the code upload neared completion. He eyed Legion where it stood behind Jane, its attention wholly devoted to its task and her focus entirely on her brother.
It would be so easy to just-
Garrus shook his head, suddenly disgusted with himself. There might not be blood pumping through his veins, but Legion was just as much alive as EDI – as much as any of them. Murder was murder, no matter the species, and Jane would never forgive him.
There was a panicked whine building in the back of Tali’s throat as she reached for Shepard, her grip on his hand strangling. The only other noise was the nervous shifting of feet around them as the team exchanged anxious looks.
“ All units, hold fire.” The words passed through the comm like a sigh, the defeat in Gerrel’s voice evident. Garrus finally breathed in, relief seeping through him like fine brandy, warming his veins. He couldn’t contain the surprised huff of laughter that escaped him, the hard fought victory leaving a fuzzy, heady feeling as hope bloomed in his chest.
An excited chatter was building back where the rest of the team stood, watching and waiting, but they cut off as Legion suddenly spoke.
“ Error,” it snapped its hands together, dissipating the hologram it’d been manipulating. “ Copying code is insufficient. Direct personality dissemination-” It hesitated, seeming unsure, “-required.”
“What does that mean?” Jane turned to look at it, her brows knitted as she struggled to understand, her cheer melting away.
“ I must go to them. I’m-” Legion seemed to fumble with its words, a strange thing to hear from a geth, before looking up at Shepard. “I’m sorry.” It looked back to Jane before continuing, “It’s the only way .”
Understanding seemed to dawn across her face, her eyes widening as she reached forward to grip the geth’s shoulder. “Legion, you can’t mean-”
“ Yes. The unit you have come to know as Legion will no longer exist. It is necessary in order to complete the dissemination of the Reaper code and uplift my people.”
“There has to be some other way!”
“Jane-” Shepard took a step toward her as he reached for her, but she shrugged him off.
“No, I-”
“Legion,” Tali stepped between them and took Legion’s hand in hers, “The answer to your question was-” She took a breath, her final word coming out as nearly a sigh, “Yes.”
Yes. The geth have souls.
Jane and Shepard both froze as they turned to look at Legion, who nodded slowly at Tali.
“I know, Tali. But thank you. ” It gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go. It turned to gaze out over the setting sun. “ Keelah se’lai.”
With that, the strings of life within it were abruptly severed, and it collapsed to its knees as though it were a discarded puppet. Jane inhaled sharply as the geth teetered precariously, the vibrant colors of twilight reflecting off the sleek lines of its body. Then, the blue lights that spanned its body began to fade, and it pitched forward.
“Legion!” Jane exclaimed, her voice cracking as she threw herself forward to land beside it, her hands searching fruitlessly for any sign of life. Garrus hesitated, but Shepard held his hand out to stop him before he could join her. Resignation and devastation painted the Commander’s face as he turned to look up at him questioningly.
“Give her a moment to process what just happened. She doesn’t handle death well.” Shepard whispered softly, and Garrus opened his mouth to argue. His first thought was of several instances when Jane had had no fear of dirtying her hands with the blood of others to further her goals or to protect others.
But then he shut his mouth again with a click as he considered Shepard’s statement further. What Jane struggled with wasn’t the death in and of itself, but the death of those she cared about. By whatever blessing, they hadn’t had many instances where they’d lost crew members. However, they’d lost plenty during the destruction of the SR1, including Shepard himself, and the effect of that on Jane spoke volumes. His jaw and heart still twinged when he thought about it.
Furthermore, Jane was constantly putting her own safety on the line in order to protect those around her. She recklessly devoted herself to protecting their lives. He’d had plenty of theories as to what drove this savior complex of hers, and he wondered for a moment if it truly was as simple as her fear of death. Not her own, but that of those she loved.
He thought back to the evening she’d confided in him the events that occurred on Torfan years before. She’d lost her entire team during the assault, and things like that left a mark on a person. Ever since he’d met her, her behavior whenever one of their crew was in danger had always been brash and audacious, almost to the point of foolishness. The events of Virmire when she’d taken off to save Ashley were a prime example of that.
But now she was faced with someone she couldn’t save, someone who couldn’t be protected. A friend had died, sacrificed itself for the sake of its people. A valued member of their team, one of those who they’d faced down the Collectors with. It might have been synthetic, but it’d been a friend.
It also hadn’t been lost on Garrus that Legion had finally referred to itself as ‘I’ in the end. It had become a true independent intelligence in the moments before its death. A being unto itself.
There was the sound of a shuttle landing on a nearby clifftop, and the team looked up to see a number of quarians step out. Not far off, a group of geth stood hesitantly, seemingly unsure. The two groups eyed each other warily, but as no guns were raised, Garrus counted it as a step in the right direction.
“Commander!” Shuffling towards them was Admiral Raan, clutching her side as she winced with each step. Tali and Shepard broke off to meet her, and Garrus waited a moment before looking back down to where Jane knelt.
She’d given up on reviving Legion, staring down at him dully, her face pinched and blank. Her fists wrested upon her knees, clenched tightly. Garrus squatted down beside her and placed a careful hand on her back. He expected her to flinch away, but she didn’t. She remained immobile, not acknowledging him as he moved his hand in a small circle.
“Hey,” Garrus murmured, but her eyes never left the prone geth before her, “You okay?” The silence between them stretched on for a few moments before her gaze fell and she sighed.
“Yeah. I just-” Jane shook her head before looking up at Garrus, “I wish I could have done something.”
“I know. But we can’t save everyone. And things are only going to get worse from here. The Reapers are waiting for us.” Garrus paused before continuing with a smile. “But what we did here today, it should have been impossible. We brokered peace between the geth and the quarians. We saved countless lives, and now they can both help us against the Reapers.” He hesitated before adding, “Legion gave its life for that peace. Its sacrifice wasn’t meaningless.”
Jane took a long, slow breath in and held it before releasing it in a sigh. “I know. You’re right.” With that, she stood, her eyes drifting from Legion to the colors of the fading sunset before them. “I won’t let that sacrifice be in vain.” Garrus nodded, and they stood together in silence as the sun continued its slow trip below the horizon. He nearly jumped as she spoke up again, “But I’m not quite ready to give up on Legion just yet.”
“What do you mean?” Garrus’ brow plates drew down as took in her suddenly determined, her eyes darting across Legion’s body as her mind seemed to race.
“There’s got to be something . It can’t just be gone. I’m not giving up until I’m positive there’s nothing of it left in there.” Garrus opened his mouth to reply, but cut off as they heard the crunching of encroaching feet.
“I know working with the geth will be difficult.” Shepard was saying to Tali as they approached, but she shook her head.
“I’m not staying. I’m coming with you.” She replied quietly, as though it were obvious, and both Garrus and Jane turned to listen.
“I thought your people needed you.”
“So? What, do you not want me to come?” Tali asked with evident surprise, a small amount of hurt in her voice.
“How could you believe I wouldn’t want you with me? It’s just, they need you.” The pair stopped a little ways off, unaware of anything or anyone else. “That’s usually kind of a big deal for you.”
“I gave up my father for my people. I gave up my freedom for an admiral position I didn’t even want. I’m not giving up you .”
“Tali…” Shepard trailed off, his eyes full of warmth only for her as he took her hand in his. Jane snorted softly, but her smile was fond and affectionate as she watched them.
“I don’t know how much time we have left.” Tali stated firmly as she looked up at Shepard, “I don’t know if we can beat the Reapers. But whatever happens, I want to be with you.” She brought her other hand up to rest upon his chest, over his heart, and he pulled her in close, wrapping his arms around her.
Garrus smiled as Jane turned to look at him, and all he could think was that he’d never agreed with Tali quite as much as he did in that instant.
“I bet you say that to every guy who gets you a homeworld.” Shepard chuckled as he released Tali and she stepped back.
“Only the cute ones.” She replied, a smile in her voice.
“Oh my god , gag me with a spoon.” Jane exclaimed melodramatically with a roll of her eyes, her smile becoming a playful smirk. “Get a room, guys.”
“ Jane. ” Shepard groaned as he leveled an annoyed deadpan stare upon his sister, whose grin only widened. “If you don’t learn to keep your nose out of it, I’m going to have EDI initiate the sprinkler system the next time you guys head down to the shuttle bay to ‘spar’. Since that seems to be what the kids are calling it these days.”
The smirk instantly vanished off Jane’s face, her cheeks gaining a slight pink tinge as she frowned. Garrus felt his jaw pop open as he struggled to control his own flush inching up his neck.
“Hey, leave me out of this. I didn’t say anything!” He complained, but Shepard merely shrugged.
“Guilt by association.” He stated, and Garrus huffed a sigh even as he fought a smile.
“I’ll have you know that nothing untoward happens during our morning workout.” Jane gestured vaguely with one hand before stopping to consider. “Usually.”
Tali snorted and burst out laughing at that, and the three of them turned to her with expressions ranging from confused to amused. “Keelah, I missed you guys.” She took a few steps forward, pausing to glance down sadly at Legion’s body before looking up at the horizon. “I was struggling before, thinking about all those that aren’t here to celebrate this victory with us. But I…”
“I think they’d want you to be happy.” Shepard murmured, and she nodded.
“I know. But I don’t belong here. Not yet.” She gestured to the sweeping vista before them and took in a deep breath before releasing it. “It is beautiful, though, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It is.” Shepard smiled, his eyes never leaving her as he came to stand beside her again.
“It’ll be years before we can live without our suits completely, but right now…” Tali brought a slow hand up to cup her facemask. There was a soft click and a hiss, and when her hand came away, so too came her helmet’s visor. “Right now, I have this .”
For the first time, Garrus heard Tali’s voice unmodulated by her suit’s systems. Turning, she smiled at them, and his eyes widened as they rested upon her face. He heard Jane’s sharp, surprised intake of air as they both took in their friend’s facial features.
With a smile, Shepard snaked one hand around her waist before leaning his head down to press a sweet, gentle kiss upon Tali’s lips.
Garrus felt his chest warm with happiness for them both, but his gaze shifted to follow Jane as she turned to look back at their fallen friend. She knelt down and began readjusting its limbs as she snaked her arms beneath it. Grunting, she stood, struggling with the weight until Garrus stepped forward to assist.
“Forgot how heavy these things were.” She muttered darkly, and Garrus looked at her curiously.
“What, exactly, are you trying to do here?” He asked, but her answer was forestalled by the sudden approach of a geth prime.
“ Can I be of assistance?” It asked, and Jane quickly deposited Legion’s body in the waiting arms of the other geth.
“Yes, please . Hey, John!” She called out, and Shepard pulled himself away from Tali to look in their direction. “Radio Cortez and get us a pick up. I’m ready to head home.”
It was another day until the political storm ebbed enough to allow the Normandy to depart through the mass relay back towards the Citadel. The ship had sustained some amount of damage from the fire fights leading up to the destruction of the Reaper and the cease fire between the geth and the quarians, but the mood of the crew aboard it was nearly jubilant regardless. Coming right off the heels of their success with the krogan, the turians, and the genophage, the victory over the Reaper on Rannoch and the resulting peace was enough to buoy their spirits even as the rest of the galaxy burned.
The party, such as it was, started when James pulled out a bottle of tequila in the mess hall. When Garrus stepped from the main battery sometime later, finally having finished getting the weapons system back into a semblance of order, he found an overly cheerful and red faced Ashley waving him over. He was vividly reminded of a shore leave on the Citadel years before while they served aboard the SR1.
Except for EDI and Javik, the rest of the ground team was there, along with a handful of other crew members. Garrus came to sit between Jane and Shepard, and thanked Kaidan as he passed him a bottle of something dextro friendly. He checked the label and nodded in satisfaction as Jane passed him a glass. As soon as he had it poured, James shoved his own glass into the air, followed by nearly everyone else.
“To a job well done!” He proclaimed, which was answered by a cheer throughout the room as they all drank to the toast. It had clearly not been their first toast of the night.
“You mean, to yet another job well done!” Jane added, which elicited an even louder cheer. Feet stomped and hands slapped down onto tables as the crew displayed their elation.
“We killed a mother fucking Reaper! ” Ashley exclaimed, her cheeks already flushed red with alcohol. She refilled her shot glass before tossing it back.
“Slow down there, LC.” Shepard chuckled, his eyebrows creeping up in amused concern as Ashley slammed the glass back down on the table.
“You’re soooo…” Tail leaned forward onto her forearms as she turned to look at Shepard, her words slurred, “respoooonsible.” She giggled before sitting back and leaning into him.
“Well, one of us needs to keep their wits about them.” Shepard replied dryly, which only made Tali giggle harder, nearly upturning her drink in the process.
“You’ve always been the responsible one, Shepard.” Garrus stated as he took a sip of his drink, savoring the burn. “Come to think of it, that might be why you’re the one running the show. It’s why various governments and militaries trust you to make the hard choices, and why you get the job done.”
His words were met with cheers around the room, along with numerous drinks being tipped back. Nearby, Tali leaned forward onto the table again and took a long draw on her drink through a violently orange straw.
“That’s quite the straw, Tali.” Garrus teased as soon as the room had quieted down again, and she took another sip before responding.
“It’s not a straw, it’s an emergency induction port .” She dragged the word out much longer than it needed to be, causing him to raise his brow plates in amusement as his eyes flicked to Shepard.
“Ah.” He replied before asking, “How many drinks has she had so far?” Shepard was about to reply when Tali leaned around Shepard to glare at Garrus, her eyes narrowed.
“Don’t ‘Ah’ me!” She snapped, but then she sat back as her voice lost its sudden heat. “You sound like a vorcha.”
“Well then,” He looked to Jane, who hid her smile behind her fist, “er, nice emergency induction… straw.” He grinned, he just couldn’t help himself.
“ Port . Emergency induction port . It’s not a… a… what you said.”
“A straw.”
“It’s not a straw, Garrus!” Tali exclaimed heatedly, her eyes narrowed as she pointed at him angrily from around Shepard.
“Okay, take it down a notch.” Shepard chided gently, causing her to shoot Garrus another annoyed glance before returning to her seat. “Garrus, don’t tease her.”
“ Fiiine .” Garrus replied before taking another sip and leaning back in his chair.
“She’s too easy of a target, anyway.” Jane added with a chuckle.
“You guys are just the worst.” Tali grumbled as she glared at them both. “I can’t believe I missed you bosh’tets.”
“What crawled up your ass and died?” Ashley asked as she gestured to Tali with her drink, nearly sloshing it over the rim. Tali sighed, her head lolling to the side as she shrugged.
“I don’t know. I should be happy that we got our-” She hiccuped, “-our homeworld back. And I am! I’ve been waiting my entiiiire life for this.” She shook her head as she looked down at her drink between her hands. “I just can’t stop thinking about… about everyone I’ve lost, everyone who will never see the peace we’ve created. My team on Haestrom, my father. Even Legion.” She let loose a bark of bitter laughter. “I’m mourning a geth! How crazy is that?”
“Not crazy at all.” Garrus turned to see Jane slouched back in her chair, cradling her drink in her lap. She sighed, her own sadness at their friend’s demise evident on her face. “Legion was our friend. You’re allowed to mourn.”
There was an uneasy moment of silence as members of the crew exchanged glances. Most of them didn’t known Legion as they hadn’t been aboard during their mission against the Collectors. Many of them had met it recently while it had been aboard, but it had been little more than just one of the many geth to them.
“To Legion.” Shepard stated firmly as he raised his glass up. “May it live on within its people.”
“Here, here.” Garrus raised his drink as well, along with everyone else. Jane smiled sadly as she raised hers, and Tali eagerly thrust hers up as well.
“To Legion!” They all exclaimed, and around the room, everyone took a sip. As Jane downed what was left of her cup, Garrus’ thoughts drifted to his worktable in the main battery, where the topic of the toast was currently laid out, lifeless and unmoving. Jane had had Legion brought aboard, but what she planned to do, he had no clue. He doubted there was anything she could do, but everyone mourned in their own way.
“You’re a good boyfriend.” Tali sighed as she settled back down in her chair and leaned her head on Shepard’s shoulder. His arm snaked around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
“I’m glad you approve.” Shepard chuckled as he placed a kiss upon her brow. Or, where it would have been had she not been wearing a helmet. After a moment, Tali snorted in amusement.
“You’re my boyfriend . My human boyfriend.” She let loose a bark of dry laughter. “Ha! My father would have hated you.” Her pronouncement was met with some hoots and scandalized laughter, but Shepard just smiled and raised his glass again.
“Here’s to him, then.”
Garrus woke in his own bunk some time later, his head throbbing as he struggled with the fog of confusion enveloping his brain. He had no memory of falling into bed, but damn if it wasn’t comfortable. Groaning, he rolled over and went back to sleep.
When he finally pulled himself out of bed, it was well past his usual wake up time. A good deal of those not currently on duty were still out cold in their bunks, but Garrus blearily noticed Jane’s was empty. He blinked, surprised as he thought back to how much she’d had to drink the night before. With another groan, he stood and grabbed a clean set of clothes.
As soon as he was showered and dressed, he made his way out into the quiet mess hall to find Shepard eating his breakfast surrounded by a number of datapads.
“Good morning, Garrus!” He called out cheerily, and Garrus couldn’t help the wince as his head throbbed.
“I shouldn’t be surprised by your chipperness, I forgot that you’re a sadist who loves seeing the rest of us in pain.” He grumbled as he shuffled toward the cupboard and began rooting around for a dextro coffee pack. Shepard chuckled as he returned his eyes to his datapad.
“No, I’m just not a masochist who chooses to overindulge, unlike the rest of you layabouts. Some of us have responsibilities.” The words lacked any true rebuke, and Garrus snorted as he poured boiling water into his cup. “Have you seen Jane? Is she up yet?” Shepard asked, causing Garrus to look up in confusion.
“What, you haven’t seen her? She’s not in her bunk, so I assumed she’d already gotten up.”
“ Jane is in the starboard observation deck, along with Ashley and Tali, Commander.” EDI interjected over the Normandy’s intercom, “You might want to check on them, they are somewhat… unwell.”
“How unwell are we talking?” Shepard asked sharply as he stood, pushing back his chair with a sharp screech. They both quickly made their way toward the door, datapads and half brewed coffee left forgotten.
“ Their vital signs are stable .” EDI replied ominously as the door opened, and they stepped inside.
“Ugggghhh…” Someone groaned, and Garrus’ eyes scanned the room. His head throbbed, the pain a sharp reminder that his body no longer dealt with alcohol quite as well as it had in his younger days.
The room seemed empty, but as they stepped forward, Garrus noticed a figure laying on one of the couches in the corner.
“Tali?” He called out, and someone shushed him harshly. Garrus and Shepard exchanged a look before approaching.
“Shhhhhh, hush. Why do you have to walk so loudly ?” Jane growled from where she lay on the floor, her feet propped up on the couch near where Tali lay. She had an arm draped over her eyes, her lips turned down in a frown. Beside her, Ashley lay on her side, curled into a ball. More than one empty bottle stood on the end table nearby.
“Uhhh…” Ashley groaned, and Shepard crossed his arms as he came to stand before them.
“What have we here?” He asked, his voice dry and amused. Jane shifted her arm just enough to glare up at him with one bloodshot eye.
“You and your smug grin can just fuck right off, John.” She snarled before replacing her arm.
“Sir, we’re off duty. Your voice. Sir. Not… so… loud. Pleasethankyou.” Ashley muttered quietly, her words undulating in a way Garrus had to imagine her stomach might be. His stomach certainly was.
“I. Am going. To die.” Tali whispered morosely as she lay absolutely still. Jane twisted her foot and tapped it on the top of Tali’s helmet lightly, but the quarian remained immobile.
“Enjoy your evening, ladies?” Shepard raised his eyebrow as Garrus moved over to plop down on the couch beside Jane’s legs.
“Just… give me a few minutes. I just need to… walk it off.” Jane took a deep breath, but didn’t budge.
“Thirty minutes,” Ashley added quietly, “Maybe forty.”
“Yeah. Forty five minutes, we’ll be right as rain.” Jane nodded, but then groaned as she regretted the movement.
“I’ll just be here. Right here. Forever.” Tali added in a complete monotone.
“Shhhhh.” Ashley hissed.
“How much more did you guys drink after I went to bed?” Shepard asked as his eyes swept the room. Garrus was starting to think that the women had the right of it, horizontal was the right direction to be, and it was tempting to join them. His head throbbed.
“We just wanted to let off some steam.” Ashley pointed out with a sigh.
“Well, if I’d known you guys were going to utterly debase yourselves in the wee hours with a half dozen more bottles, I’d have stuck around for the show instead of turning in early.” Shepard declared, his voice much louder than it needed to be, in Garrus’ opinion.
“I prefer embarrassing myself in private, sir.” Ashley whispered, but then Tali’s arm raised as she pulled up her omni-tool.
“No, I got pictures.” She murmured sleepily, causing Jane to let loose a bark of laughter from where she lay nearby as Ashley groaned.
“Well, mission accomplished , Lieutenant.” Shepard stated sarcastically with a smirk.
“No one likes sarcasm, Commander.” Ashley pointed out darkly.
“I do.” Jane grinned, her arm still covering her eyes.
“I hate you.” Ashley growled as she clenched her eyes shut, her face an unnatural color of green.
“‘I hate you…?’” Shepard prompted, his smile widening as he waited expectantly.
“I hate you all.”
“Not the answer I was looking for, Williams, but I’ll take it.” Shepard allowed as his smirk melted into something more affectionate and friendly.
“Okay, as entertaining as this, I desperately need coffee.” Garrus gave Jane’s leg a pat before standing and heading back toward the mess hall. He heard Shepard chuckle.
“As you were, ladies.” The Commander stated before following after Garrus. “Hope you didn’t completely party yourselves out. We’ve got shore leave coming up when we arrive at the Citadel.” He paused in the doorway before adding, “Oh, and if you’re not up and at ‘em in thirty minutes, I’ll give Joker permission to start singing over the comm.”
There were some noncommittal grunts from behind them before the door shut on the starboard observation deck. “Shore leave?” Garrus asked as he beelined back toward the kitchenette.
“Yeah, just heard from Hackett. He’s arranged for us to have the Normandy’s retrofits finished up, finally . I’m tired of having all these tubes and pipes hanging out. We left Earth before they could get everything finished up, and when I submitted my reports after Rannoch, including a list of necessary repairs, he decided we should take care of it all in one fell swoop.”
“Huh, sounds like a good idea. We could do with some rest and relaxation.” Garrus mused as he finished preparing his coffee and took a sip.
“Exactly. We’ve gotten two major victories under our belts, so the crew deserves some time to celebrate for real. And it sounds like they’ve worked out some nice accommodations for us, too. I guess Anderson has an apartment we can stay at.”
“That’s great.” Garrus shrugged as he cupped the bracing, hot drink between both palms, “Some time off, plenty to celebrate, comfortable beds… What could go wrong?”
Notes:
Sorry for the late update, we were away camping all weekend. We got caught in some torrential rain and nearly washed away, and my thought as we were evacuating was "Oh no, I'm going to die and I'll never get to finish posting my fanfic." But we're safe and sound (and mostly dry at this point), so the story shall continue! Huzzah! Thank you all for all your support, I love hearing from you!
Also, if you haven't seen the sketches I commissioned, I have now embedded them in their chapters! Check them out in Part 2: Chapter 12 and Part 2: Chapter 25!
Chapter 69: Part 3: Chapter 15
Summary:
In which Garrus really only wanted some seafood.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 15
The Citadel
Garrus’ mandibles flicked as he sneered down at the husk screaming up at him.
“Can’t we just throw this thing out?” he asked as he turned to watch Jane fiddling with the galaxy map in Dr. Bryson’s office. She eyed the husk head with a shrug.
“Leave it, it doesn’t matter. Take a look at this.” she murmured as she gestured to the map, and Garrus came to stand beside her as he crossed his arms. Blinking down at them was a single highlighted system.
“So is this where you think Ann Bryson is?”
“ Based on the data, only one system remains a viable possibility. ” EDI stated from where she stood performing additional scans on the large, spherical artifact nearby, and Garrus nodded.
“Okay. As soon as the retrofits are done and shore leave is over, I’ll have John set a course for the Zaherin system in the Pylos nebula.”
“Let’s hope she can hold out that long.” Garrus added grimly, and Jane sighed.
“Yeah.” Her omni-tool chimed, and she pulled it up. “Ah, it’s from John.” She brought up the message and raised an eyebrow. “Apparently he has a surprise for us? Other than that, it’s just an address.” Garrus peered over her shoulder at the message and blinked.
“Huh. Nice neighborhood.”
“You know it?”
“Yeah, it’s the Silversun Strip. It’s not far from that sushi place we went to that one time. Ryuusei.”
“Ooooh.” Jane’s eyes widened as she slowly nodded her head. “Is this where we’re staying? John mentioned our accommodations were being taken care of.”
“Let’s go find out.”
“Holy. Shit. ” Jane gasped and Shepard grinned as he moved aside to let them into the apartment. She took a few steps into the vast space and looked around. “We get to stay here ?” Garrus followed her in and his subvocals hummed with approval. He didn’t like the enormous windows, of course, as they seemed like something of a security flaw, but besides that, it was very nice. The huge fireplace, the expensive art, the comfortable furniture, the gourmet kitchen – it would be a relaxing week, that was for sure.
“Even better. It’s ours now.” Both Jane and Garrus spun around to face Shepard.
“What?” Jane whispered, confusion painting her face.
“I just heard from Anderson, and he wants us to have it. He’s giving it to us. To keep.” The words seemed to echo through the large space. Jane’s expression was completely void of emotion as she stared at Shepard.
“You’re shitting me. You can’t be serious.”
“On the contrary, I’m completely serious. He wants us to ‘take it off his hands’.” Jane turned and silently walked through the apartment in complete silence, her face still a stony mask. Garrus considered going after her, but stopped as he saw Shepard simply watching with a bittersweet smile.
“Not exactly the reaction I might have expected from her.” Garrus muttered quietly, and Shepard shrugged.
“She’s never really had a home before. Not one that she remembers, at least. When we were kids, we were lucky to find a dry overhang to sleep under. When we were teens, we crashed in whatever crummy apartment the Reds could provide, usually squeezed in with a number of others. Then when she signed up with the Alliance, it was just one barracks after another. I can understand why this might be a little overwhelming for her.”
Garrus nodded his understanding as he turned to watch Jane inspecting the kitchen, his heart clenching. “She’s never been the most predictable when it comes to emotional displays.”
“No,” Shepard agreed, “Just give her a few minutes to process and collect herself.”
Garrus took a turn around the ground floor, marveling as the apartment just kept on going. He found the office with the gaming table, the downstairs bedroom, and the bar with the giant holo screen set up. He could get used to this.
“Okay guys, would you like to see your room?” Shepard called out after a few minutes, and Garrus met him and Jane at the bottom of the stairs leading to the rooms they had yet to explore.
“I get my own room?” Jane’s eyes widened a fraction, batting Shepard’s hand away as he reached to ruffle her hair.
“Well, I had guessed you might want to share it with your boyfriend ,” He gestured to Garrus, who grinned at Jane, “But, yeah.”
Jane finally smiled. “Lead the way.”
Garrus really couldn’t help but gape as Shepard showed them through the upstairs, every bit as lavish as the downstairs. When they reached the last bedroom, Shepherd gestured them inside. Jane stepped in and looked around silently. She felt the soft bed, examined the desk and closets, poked her head into the huge bathroom, and then finally turned to Shepard.
“Does it meet with your approval?” He asked dryly as he raised an eyebrow at her, crossing his arms as he smiled.
“I mean, it doesn’t have a hot tub , but I think it’ll do.” They shared a laugh, and then Jane turned to Garrus. “What do you think? Would you like to call this home for a little?”
“I can call anywhere home as long as you’re there.” The words left Garrus before he could take a moment to think, and Jane’s expression softened as her face flushed with pleasure. She reached for his hand and leaned up to press a quick kiss to his mouth plates.
“I’ll, uh, let you guys get settled. There is a door if you need, er… privacy.” Shepard stated awkwardly as he took a step back and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll just be… next door.” He gestured toward the larger bedroom before turning and leaving.
“So?” Garrus turned to Jane, “What do you think?” Jane chuckled as she spun to look around the room again.
“I don’t even know what to think, honestly. This is… It’s a lot to process.”
“Understandable.” He stepped further into the room before tossing his bag onto the bed. “Should we make ourselves at home?”
They spent the next half hour getting their bags unpacked and examining every little detail of the room. After a while, they heard a knock on the door frame as Shepard returned. Garrus blinked as he registered his attire. He was dressed well, though not in his usual dress blues. It was a stylish suit that seemed oddly out of place on him.
“Wow, you’re looking sharp. Are you and Tali heading out for a night on the town?” Jane teased, and Shepard’s cheeks turned a faint pink before shaking his head.
“No, she’s busy tonight meeting with a representative for a quarian pilgrimage support organization at the Embassies. She’s trying to secure additional funding for them.” He smiled as his thoughts drifted to his girlfriend. He coughed, coming back to himself a moment later. “I do have dinner plans, though, so I’m heading out. You two okay here? I’ve already gotten you both setup with access codes so you can come and go as you please.”
“Yeah, we’ll be fine. Go have fun, try to relax a little.” Jane waved him off with a smile.
“See you later, guys. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Shepard called out as he made for the stairs.
Jane snorted, “That doesn’t leave a whole lot of wiggle room. John on shore leave is usually about as interesting as a wet blanket.” She paused, turning a questioning glance at Garrus as her lips quirked upward in a crooked smile. “Dinner does sound like a good idea though. Didn’t you say Ryuusei was nearby?”
“How you always manage to get reservations for this place so quickly, I’ll never know.” Garrus whispered as they were waved out of the line at the front of the restaurant.
“This was, perhaps, not the intended use of my Spectre status. Doesn’t hurt to name drop a little, too. Being the famous Commander Shepard’s little sister comes in handy sometimes.” She replied as they were led through the packed sushi restaurant. Garrus trailed just behind her, glancing down to admire the view. She’d picked a short, tight dress that left very little to the imagination, and he was far from complaining. It wasn’t quite the same as the dress she’d gotten from Kasumi, but it was close.
What drew Garrus’ attention more than anything was her exposed skin. And not for the reason it usually did. This was the first time she’d worn something so revealing since before Tuchanka. He could tell from the way she fiddle with the hem of the dress that she was not entirely comfortable yet, but he was immensely proud of her. She looked fantastic with or without her scars, and if he were being honest, he’d say she seemed more interesting now than before. They lent her an air of danger and mystery, as if she didn’t have enough of that as it was.
“Also, the maitre d’ owed me a favor.”
“Ah. That certainly helps.” He hummed; the click of her high heels on the glass of the fish tank beneath their feet was like music to his ears. The blue lighting from the water below the glass floor flickered and undulated, enveloping everything in a dazzling and eerie luminance.
The host showed them to their seats at a small table near the back of the room, and Garrus was happy for the privacy it afforded them. A few eyes followed them, though whether it was Jane’s small amount of celebrity as the second human Spectre or the fact that they’d obviously bypassed the line, he couldn’t tell. Or maybe they stood out for being a human and turian together on a date. He didn’t honestly care at this point. The world was burning, and it seemed like the further they waded into this war, the more his priorities shifted.
“So,” He began as they were given a basket of damp, warm towels to wipe their hands, “How are you feeling about the apartment?” Jane glanced up at him, seeming to consider her answer before tossing her shoulders slightly.
“It’s a little hard to believe, honestly. It’s nice, though. It’s funny, but now it seems a little easier to imagine some sort of future after this war.” She murmured with a small smile as she leaned her forearms on the table, and Garrus felt a warmth in his chest at her words. “I guess I felt a bit like Tali before. I’d had places I lived, places I belonged, but I didn’t have any sort of roots put down. Nothing permanent. I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea of having an actual home. Somewhere to come back to after everything.” She paused as she looked down at her hands on the table, then huffed a laugh that lacked any sense of amusement. “If I live through this damn war, that is.”
Garrus reached over the table and took one of her hands in his, giving it a squeeze. The shimmer and glow of the Silversun Strip played across their table, the warm light rippling across her freckled face. It contrasted with the cool glow emanating from the fish tanks below, both playing across her skin and illuminating her eyes as they looked up at him with a level of affection he never thought he could inspire in another living being. He opened his mouth to reply – though with what, he couldn’t say – when something behind him caught Jane’s attention. She squinted, her eyebrows drawing in as her head tilted slightly.
“Is that John? And… Joker ?” Garrus spun in his seat to see the two men seated across the room in a corner, their shapes silhouetted by a large fish tank just behind them. Joker reached to take a sip of his water as Shepard gestured to the bar, and the two of them laughed.
“ That’s who Shepard was meeting for dinner?” He asked in surprise before chuckling as he turned back to face Jane. “I didn’t realize Joker ever left the ship, but I suppose he doesn’t have a choice as they finish up the retrofits.” Jane didn’t reply as she continued watching the pair, interest morphing into confusion on her face as the click of shoes running broke through the music.
Garrus turned back around to see someone dressed in Alliance blues stop suddenly at Shepard’s table, breathing heavily as she began talking at them hurriedly. Both men appeared nonplussed at the sudden interruption, and unease prickled up Garrus’ spine, though he wasn’t entirely sure why.
The sound of heavy armored boots echoed through the restaurant, and someone cried out in pain. The incessant drone of voices silenced instantly as everyone turned to look.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.” A modulated voice called out into the sudden void of sound. “Tonight’s performance is brought to you by random acts of violence!”
“Get down!” Jane snapped, and the world burst into madness just as she flipped the table. Gunfire exploded in his ears as Jane pulled him behind the makeshift cover as civilians screamed. Glass shattered and debris rained down upon them as Garrus brought his arms up to cover their heads. When he looked up, Jane was holding a small pistol in one hand as she peeked covertly over the table.
“Where the hell were you hiding that thing?” Garrus whispered, the incongruent thought forcing its way to the top. Jane said nothing, her focus entirely on the armored men shooting up Ryuusei. “What the hell is going on?” he added quietly.
“I don’t kn-”
“Spread out, boys!” The modulated voice yelled over the cacophony, “Find me Shepard!”
“Well, that answers that.” She grunted before ducking out just long enough to aim and fire. There was the sound of an armored body hitting the ground hard as she crouched back down. Around them, people cowered on the floor and under tables.
“Over there! Behind that table!” One of the men cried as footsteps closed in on their hiding spot. Jane looked up just as an armored fist reached for their table. She grabbed him and spun, and a man came flying over the top to smash down onto his back before them as Jane pulled out her omni-blade. She plunged it in his neck as his scream became a garbled splutter, and red human blood splattered across her dark dress and pale skin.
Without a word, Garrus reached for the pistol in the man’s hand, noticing for half a second the unusual brand of the weapon. He turned and took aim over the table, quickly taking out two men. He watched as Shepard sprinted across the open space toward the bar. Small details kept jumping out at Garrus as his heart hammered in his ears. He could see the bodies of numerous, unmarked mercs splayed across the ground, but for all the rounds they’d fired off, there appeared to be no civilian casualties. At least, not yet. But it seemed odd.
“Come on, we need to get to John.” Jane whispered before running to a nearby table, staying low to the ground, and Garrus quickly followed after. She raised her weapon and took out another merc.
Shepard was nearby, helping the pony-tailed Alliance soldier to her feet, and Garrus noted with relief that Jane had taken out the last of the mercs. They both stood, their weapons sweeping the room as they searched for any stragglers.
Just then, a small red light appeared upon Shepard’s chest.
“John!” Jane cried out as she spun to look upwards, frantically searching for the sniper. The shot rang out, and Shepard fell backwards onto the floor as the Alliance soldier cried out in pain, having taken the shot in his stead.
“Brooks!” Shepard exclaimed as he pushed himself up onto his elbows. More shots rang out, stopping them in their tracks as they hurried toward Shepard. Garrus saw a flash of movement above, and he spun quickly, taking the shot. The last merc collapsed, a hole drilled neatly between his eyes.
“John, are you o-” Jane stepped toward her brother, but pulled up short as the ominous sound of cracking glass cut her off. Shepard’s eyes widened just as the glass floor shattered, water spraying upwards as he fell. Jane cried out as she ran forward, but Garrus caught her just at the edge of the drop off.
The blue of the fish tank floors began to fade throughout the restaurant as the water gushed out, fish and glass sparkling as they caught the light of the Strip on their unexpected journey down into the abyss below. They both watched in horror as Shepard fell in the halo of glimmering shards and scales. He reached out for a nearby light fixture, but the panels detached in a spray shattering glass, slowing his fall only marginally. He finally managed to grab hold of one that didn’t come loose, his fingers and feet scrabbling for purchase.
“Hold on!” Jane screamed, and panic bubbled up in Garrus’ throat as he frantically looked around for some way to reach down to help Shepard. “Just hang on, we’re coming!” Shepard shot them one, terror filled look before the lighting panel under his feet cracked. He plummeted downward, crying out in pain as he hit the sloped roof below, and rolled until it flung him out into open air again.
Shepard landed hard on a walkway far, far below, and lay there unmoving as Garrus and Jane watched in frozen fear, unable to move or breathe. Water continued to trickle down from the broken tanks, raining down upon the Commander along with shards of glass. He lay amongst the remains of lighting panels and dead fish before finally shifting and rolling on to his side.
“He’s alive!” Garrus breathed as relief hit him with palpable force. Jane shot to her feet before sprinting toward the exit.
“John! Are you okay?” She called into her brother’s personal comm channel, but there was no response. Garrus ran after her without a backward thought. “We need to get down there and help him. Now!”
They burst out onto the Silversun Strip, the flashing lights of an approaching C-Sec skycar adding to the chaos of colors splashed across the faces of the scared and curious onlookers. Jane beelined toward a nearby civilian skycar just as the driver within reached for the door controls.
“Everybody out!” Jane demanded as she gestured toward the platform with her pistol. The woman screamed as she covered her face, and the man brought his hands up to cover his head in fear. “For fuck’s sake!” Jane cried as she reached forward to grab the man’s shirt, wrenching him out of the vehicle. “Get out of the goddamn car, this is Spectre business!”
The woman scrambled out and huddled beside the cowering man as Jane leapt into the driver’s seat. Garrus gingerly stepped around the two sobbing humans before getting in beside her. “I’ll admit, this is the first time I’ve participated in a vehicle robbery at gunpoint. Can’t argue with the results, though.”
“Sit down and shut up.” Jane growled as the door closed and the skycar lifted into the air. The bright lights and colors of the Strip were a blur as they shot downward, eventually leaving the liveliness of Silversun behind them as they searched for Shepard in the depths.
Jane pulled up her comm and started explaining the situation to EDI, who quickly interrupted to inform them that they’d already been updated by Joker.
“ I’m already en route, though I’m coming on foot. ” Tali explained a little breathily, clearly running.
“How come Joker contacted you guys but not me ? I’m his sister.” Jane grumbled, and Garrus snorted in amusement.
“ We attempted to raise you as soon as Jeff made it to safety, but someone appears to be jamming certain channels. It wasn’t until you contacted us that we were able to establish a secure connection.”
“Maybe that’s why I can’t get a hold of John.” Jane murmured to herself.
“Perhaps.” Garrus paused, peering through the windshield. “Wait, look down there.” He pointed to a walkway down below, across from a dealership. There were shards of familiar looking lighting panels, as well as evidence of a great deal of water. Jane slowed the skycar and pulled up near the walkway. Opening the door, they could see plenty of dead fish, but no sign of Shepard.
“EDI, try again to get me patched through to John.” Jane instructed as they looked around.
“ Of course, Jane.”
“He’s got to be moving on foot. Let’s hurry on and try to-”
“ Secure connection established.” EDI interrupted, and Jane’s face immediately brightened.
“John?” she called out as she activated her comm, “Can you hear me?”
“ Jane?” The connection was fuzzy, but they both relaxed at the sound of Shepard’s voice.
“Are you okay? Where are you?” Jane’s questions were rabid fire, her face alight with relief.
“ I’m fine. ” came Shepard’s clipped reply, followed by the sound of gunfire. “ Might need a little backup, though.” Jane’s face hardened as she spun around to gaze out across the chasm before them.
“Where are you headed?”
“ Fighting my way to a car lot, Cision Motors.”
“Okay, I see it. We’ll meet you there.” Jane set off back toward the skycar, Garrus hot on her heels.
“ Excuse me,” an unfamiliar female voice cut in sharply, her tone laced with frustration, “ who is this? The Commander’s comm has been hacked and you’re putting his life in danger!”
Jane pulled up at the unexpected intrusion into the conversation, her face bewildered, “I’m what ? Who the hell is this?”
“ Hang on,” Shepard said, his voice calm and firm, “ This is Staff Analyst Brooks.”
“Is she the Alliance girl we saw you chatting with at Ryuusei? The one that got shot?” She asked as they climbed back into the skycar and started it up again.
“ Yes.” Brooks snapped heatedly. “ Thanks, by the way, for checking on me while I was bleeding out on the restaurant floor.” She added with dripping sarcasm as Jane rolled her eyes.
“There was more to worry about than some Alliance pencil pusher. Suck it up, you’re clearly fine.” Jane sniped back flippantly, and Garrus could hear Shepard sigh.
“ Everybody play nice.”
“Just hang on, Shepard. We’re on our way.” Garrus said in what he hoped was a reassuring voice.
“ Good to hear. Things are a little dicey.” Shepard sighed over the sound of more gunfire in the background.
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
They shot across the chasm and toward the Cision Motors lot just as a shuttle was landing there. Mercs dressed in familiar unmarked armor began pouring out, and Jane growled.
“Hold on to something.” was his only warning as she accelerated.
“Godda-” Garrus clamped his mouth shut as she spun the controls and smashed the side of their skycar into the shuttle, sending both vehicles skidding across the lot. Garrus was thrown roughly against his restraints and he thanked the spirits he’d had the forethought to at least buckle himself in.
As they came to a screeching stop and his head finally cleared, Garrus groaned.
“You okay?” Jane asked as she unbuckled herself and pulled out her pistol.
“I thought I’d learned my lesson the last time I let you drive.” He muttered, thinking back to the chase on Illium, and Jane scoffed.
“Oh, stop your bellyaching, we’re fine.”
The skycar’s bent and twisted top popped open, and they both immediately opened fire on the few dazed and confused mercs that remained. In a matter of moments, the car lot was clear and quiet. As soon as the gunfire stopped, Garrus saw a cowering volus dash into the main office. Seconds later, the lot’s huge doors began to close.
“Hurry!” He barked, and the two of them darted in just in time. The silence reverberated through the huge showroom, broken only by the sounds of their shoes clicking on the metal floor. Only then did he register that Jane was still in her high-heeled shoes. She looked absolutely ravishing as she walked over to stand before a dead merc, one hand on her hip, the other still clutching her pistol.
“Who the hell are these guys?” She wondered aloud as Garrus came to stand beside her. Activating her comm again, she asked, “What do we know about these mercenaries?”
“ They have guns and don’t like me?” Shepard replied dryly, and Jane huffed as she rolled her eyes.
“Gee, thanks . Helpful.”
“ Commander, it would really be great if you could stay off the comm.” Brooks added irritably a moment later, and Garrus could hear Jane muttering unkind things under her breath.
“ Hey, they called me .” Shepard barked grumpily, followed by the sound of more gunfire. Some of that gunfire was not coming through the com, though. Garrus reasoned that he had to be getting closer to their location.
There was the sound of hurried footsteps coming nearer, and Garrus cursed before quickly pulling Jane into cover behind a nearby skycar. The crack of a rifle burst against their ears as they ducked down.
“How many of these guys are there?” Jane whispered as she checked her heat sink.
“There’s about to be a few less.” Garrus smirked before ducking out of cover long enough to aim and fire. Another merc fell, and Garrus knelt back down as he considered the weapon in his hand. It was one he’d taken off a dead merc, and it was really something, unlike any pistol he’d used before.
Jane fired a shot, and another merc screamed in pain. Somewhere nearby, a door whooshed open, and Garrus prepared to take on more reinforcements with a frown. All he’d wanted was a little seafood, how had things spiraled so far out of control so suddenly?
Without any warning at all, Jane stood and vaulted over the front of the car, her pistol out as she fired. The last two mercs fell, and Garrus peered around the car to see Shepard staring open mouthed as Jane sauntered toward him smugly.
“Having a bad day, John?” She asked with a shrug, the swagger in her step only emphasized by her high heels.
Shepard snorted as he rolled his eyes, “You could say that.” Garrus came out from behind the car and nodded to Shepard in greeting. Jane offered her brother a quick hug before gesturing back toward the now closed garage doors.
“Come on, we’ve got a skycar, we just need to get through this locked gate.”
“Let’s look for a control panel.” Shepard stated as his eyes scanned the open space. They split up and began searching the room, but after a moment, Jane’s voice called out.
“So, you demolished my favorite restaurant on the Citadel.”
“We’ll talk about it later.” Shepard sighed as he examined a console.
“You fell through their fish tank. It’s totally destroyed, you know.” Jane continued, the levity in her voice a distinct opposite to her fear and terror of not even ten minutes ago.
“Damn shame.” Garrus added as he did his best not to smile. “Great food there.”
“We’ll talk about it later. ” Shepard snapped, and Garrus was almost sure he heard the sound of grinding teeth from the Commander.
“ And you ruined our date. Do you go looking for trouble, or does it just find you all on its own?” Jane added, her voice laden with gleeful teasing.
“For heaven’s sake, how is any of this my fault?” Shepard threw back his head as he looked beseechingly up at the ceiling. “All I did was-”
“Guys, over here.” Garrus beckoned them over to the main office where he’d seen the volus disappear minutes before. The attention of the two Shepard’s snapped to the locked door, and they both approached with sure confidence in their steps.
“I can probably hack the controls,” Jane said as she pulled out her omni-tool, “I just downloaded a nifty new app that should burn right through the-”
“Stand back.” Shepard ordered as he pulled up his pistol and leveled his aim at the door controls.
“Hold on.” Garrus rested a hand on Shepard’s weapon, gently pushing it away from the door, fighting the urge to sigh at the siblings. “Why is everything always a smash and grab job with you two?” He stepped toward the office window where he could just barely make out the cowering volus.
“Hi there.” Garrus called out in as friendly a voice as he could muster while he knocked gently on the glass. “Uh, could you please open this up?” He gestured toward the garage doors behind them, and after a pause, he saw the volus lean forward to tap a control panel. The garage door snapped open without further ado. “Much appreciated.”
“Please leave!” The terrified volus cried out through the window, and Garrus turned to look at the two Shepards. With a slight, meaningful widening of his eyes and a duck of his head, he walked past them silently as they both stared at him with matching looks of unamused indignation.
“Well, I could have done that .” He heard Shepard mutter to Jane before muffling a grunt of pain as she elbowed him in the side. They all hurried out onto the landing, only to come up short.
“Ah.” Jane grunted as they stood before the mangled remains of their commandeered skycar. “Right. Crash landing and all that.”
“How do you just forget about smashing a skycar into a shuttle?” Shepard asked incredulously, and Jane turned to him with a glare.
“Look, I was a little preocu-”
“ Hold on, guys, there’s a C-Sec shuttle inbound, should be there any moment.” Brooks stated over the comm just as the sound of an approaching shuttle met their ears. They all looked up, taking a few steps back as the blue and white shuttle slowed to a hover just before them.
The door opened, and Garrus’ eyes widened.
“Get down!” Shepard yelled as they threw themselves to the side just in time to avoid the barrage of gunfire. More unmarked mercenaries sprayed the entire car lot in rapid fire, leaving them little more to do than cower behind nearby crates and low dividers.
“These fuckers again.” Jane spat, but before she could take aim, there was the sound of shattering glass above them, and a familiar battle scream. A red blur smashed into the shuttle, sending the mercs stumbling as it landed hard.
“Wrex!” someone above them screamed, and Garrus looked up to see Tali poking her head out of the shattered window above. “Are you insane?” She yelled before looking down toward them. “Are you guys okay?”
“Yeah!” Shepard called back up as Wrex proceeded to destroy the group of mercs one bone crushing blow at a time. Their screams of fear and pain were evidence enough of the krogan’s prowess. “What on earth are you guys doing here?”
“Hold on!” Tali called out as she peered downward hesitantly. Wrex tossed the final merc off the shuttle and into the abyss before wiping his hands and turning back toward them. Carefully, Tali began lowering herself out of the window, which thankfully wasn’t too far above them. Foothold by foothold, handhold by handhold, she climbed until finally jumping down to land before them. Shepard reached out to steady her, and she eagerly grasped his hand.
“What are you guys doing here?” Shepard asked again as he looked between the two newcomers.
“Well, EDI told me about what had happened – is it true you fell through a fish tank?” Tali asked, her head tilted curiously to one side, and Shepard groaned as Garrus and Jane shared a smile behind him.
“I’ll explain later . Please, continue.”
“Anyway,” Tali continued, “I came running as quickly as I could. I bumped into Wrex here-”
“I’d been meeting with the council, butting heads over krogan expansion.” Wrex explained as eyes turned to him.
“Not literally, I hope.” Jane quipped as she joined Wrex in searching the bodies of the dead mercs. He looked up and simply grinned.
“ Anyway ,” Tali continued pointedly, “I ran into Wrex here, and he decided he had nothing better to do, so he’s come to give us a hand.”
“Always up for knocking some merc heads.” the old krogan chuckled as he stood up and tossed a fancy looking weapon to Shepard, who eyed it approvingly. Further conversation was cut off by the sound of storming boots and the clanking of armored hard suits.
“They just keep on coming, don’t they?” Garrus muttered as they all jumped into cover, the next wave of mercenaries jumping down into the car lot. As they opened fire on the newcomers, Joker alerted them that he was enroute to their position in a shuttle, and Garrus tasted a breath of relief.
“ Sorry I’m late .” Joker finally announced a few minutes later. “ Had to take the scenic route.”
“Scenic route?” Brooks cut in, her voice full of indignation, “ We nearly crashed four times! Where the hell did you learn to drive?”
“ And Brooks says hi.” Joker added cheerily without missing a beat, causing Garrus to snort with amusement as he watched the shuttle come in to hover nearby. One by one, they leapt up into it as the others laid down cover fire. As the shuttle made its escape, Garrus finally let himself hope that they’d faced down the worst of it.
He was wrong, of course. When they’d first left the Normandy to begin their shore leave, he’d been under the impression that it would be some sort of relaxing vacation. In retrospect, Garrus wasn’t entirely sure why he’d thought that. The Shepards attracted trouble like moths to a flame.
Still, breaking into a casino safe room was not something he saw himself doing on his ‘vacation’. Somehow he found himself dressed to the nines and trailing after Shepard, Tali, and the other members of the team as they made a grand entrance at the Silver Coast Casino. The man who was behind the weapons used by the mercs, including that fantastic pistol Garrus had picked up, was holding some sort of charity event for war refugees that night, and they were going to use it as a chance to grill him about who had ordered the hit on Shepard.
Garrus tried not to dwell too angrily on the fact that dirtbag weapons smugglers were still dealing on the Citadel, even after everything. But he supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that people saw a galactic war as a chance to make a little profit.
Or perhaps not so little a profit. Garrus would have whistled if he’d had lips as he looked around the elegant casino. What drew his eye wasn’t just the space, but the people that inhabited it. There were enough jewels and finery draped on the patrons and party goers to fund full bellies and medical supplies for all the refugees, and Garrus did his best not to sneer at each and every one of them.
“ Okay guys,” Shepard whispered into the comm as the team started to disperse around the casino, “ Remember: you need to draw attention without making a scene. The good kind of attention, not the bad. We need to make sure eyes are on you all so that we can bypass the security on the safe room without anyone noticing. Got it?”
There was a chorus of affirmatives, and Garrus found himself wandering up toward the bar. They were allowed a few sips in order to blend in, and he desperately needed something to do with his hands. Holding a glass was as good as anything.
As he ascended the stairs toward the second floor bar, he paused to scan the crowd. There was no sign of Jane yet, no flash of red or anything else that could possibly be her. She’d left the apartment in a rush as people had begun getting dressed and ready, claiming to have nothing proper to wear to a black-tie event. Garrus had raised a brow plate at that, but she’d promised to meet them at the party, so he’d returned to his own wardrobe problems.
He desperately wished she’d show up soon, though. Dressy events were not Garrus’ forte, and he was not feeling even remotely close to his comfort zone. He’d been told to ‘act natural’, but the last thing he wanted to do was draw attention to how awkward and out-of-place he was. Give him a gun and plop him down in the trenches any day, but give him a suit and expect him to mingle ? Spirits, this was some sort of nightmare on par with showing up to the academy pantsless.
“Hey, Scars. You okay?” Garrus looked up to see James standing nearby. “You’re frowning hard enough to drill a hole right through your glass.”
“Ah, yeah. Sorry.” He lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck. James smiled knowingly at him before putting a firm hand on his shoulder.
“Come on, let’s go sit down.” He directed Garrus around the dance floor to some stools that overlooked the rest of the casino below them. They both sat down and took sips of their drinks, and Garrus just couldn’t get comfortable as he shifted on his seat. “So, what do turians usually do with their time off?” James asked, and Garrus felt the sardonic smile on his face.
“Mostly we make plans for what to do when we’re back at work.” he mused, only half joking. His mind drifted, thinking about how much he would prefer to be elbows deep in repairs and calibrations in the Normandy’s main battery at the moment. James barked a laugh as he turned to lean against the bar top as he scanned the dance floor.
“You know what you need?” James asked as he took another sip of his drink.
“That Mark-4 silencer scope I saw at the gun-shop?” Garrus asked with a spark of enthusiasm, once again only half joking. He knew that wasn’t what James was about to say, but he did really need that scope…
“I was thinking a date .” James stated, and Garrus tried not to choke on his drink.
“A date?” He asked in surprise, and James nodded as he gestured to a few of the women on the dance floor.
“Yeah. How long has it been since you asked a pretty lady out for a date, Scars?”
Garrus hesitated, unsure of the proper answer to that question. Technically, he and Jane went out on dates as regularly as they could, even if that wasn’t terribly often. But Jane still hadn’t clued the muscled Marine in on the identity of her ‘mystery boyfriend’.
Mistaking the meaning of Garrus’ hesitation, James clapped him on the shoulder bracingly. “No worries, buddy. There really hasn’t been time for stuff like that, what with the war. Dry spells are understandable. But we’ve got a week of shore leave ahead of us, and you need to unwind a little. Tell you what, I’ll be your wingman.”
“My what?” Garrus stared in confusion at the other man, the term not translating well. He was fairly positive this wasn’t a military operation, and they weren’t flying.
“I’ll give you a hand, help you chat up a worthy lady, hype you up a little.” Standing suddenly, James took both their drinks and left them on the bar top. “Come on, I see the perfect one.”
“Whoa, hold up there.” Garrus jerked in surprise as James grabbed his arm and tugged him off his seat toward the dance floor. Despite dragging his heels, he found himself parked before a very confused looking turian woman. “James, this is a horrible idea.” He hissed as panic settled in his gut like an old friend he hadn’t seen since his awkward teenage years.
“Excuse me!” James began cheerily as he looked up at the – admittedly very pretty – woman, “I saw you checking out my friend here.” He gestured to Garrus, who felt a mortified flush creeping up his neck. “I thought you two should meet.”
“Hello,” the woman’s attention shifted to Garrus, and he stiffened. Her subvocals weren’t displeased, quite the contrary. She seemed interested and amiable, and clearly was expecting him to make the next move.
“Right, so…” Garrus wracked his brain for a polite way to back out of this awful situation. “Hello. And, um…” Surely this wasn’t what Shepard had in mind when he asked them to attract attention.
“Tell her she looks nice.” James hissed quietly from just behind him, and Garrus winced pure mortification threatened to strangle him. Where was Jane, and why was she taking her sweet ass time? Well, he couldn’t just outright tell this woman she was beautiful, that would send the wrong message. But he was supposed to ‘act natural’, so…
He gave her a quick once over, searching for clues to glean what information he could. Which wasn’t much, honestly. She’d been dancing by herself with no visible friends. But she was well dressed in something more on the conservative side, so she probably wasn’t just here to catch the male gaze.
“You seem like a nice person.” He began thoughtfully after a moment, “A little quiet. Introspective. But decent overall.” She blinked and glanced away as she processed his words.
“Oh. Thank you… I think.” Garrus winced again, his words playing back in his mind. Spirits, he should just leave. Surely there was some other way to make a complete ass of himself, right? Where were Shepard and the others? Maybe they needed help or something.
“Yikes, Scars. Try small talk.” James whispered, and Garrus growled in frustration. That was it, he was done with this farce, Jane’s little hazing game with Vega be damned. The entire exchange had been mortifying so far, and he could feel the bright blue flush up his neck at this point. Jane’s stupid game wasn’t worth being put through this.
“James, I really don’t think Jane would appreciate me chatting up other women.” He hissed as he turned back to glare at the Lieutenant, who raised a baffled brow at him.
“Why the hell should she care? Small talk, now , before she walks away.” James shoved him lightly, causing Garrus to stumble closer to the poor woman as he spun back around.
“Uh, come here often?” He asked haltingly as he took half a step back, giving her space. He prayed she didn’t misinterpret his discomfort as attraction, though his panicked subvocals should help with that, right? “I imagine anyone who does is probably an alcoholic.”
The words had tumbled out of his mouth before he could process them, and he froze as the woman’s eyes narrowed. She started to reply, but cut off as someone approached. Someone with bright eyes and a heart wrenchingly familiar grin.
“Hey there, Big Guy. Care for a dance?”
Notes:
I've gotten some really lovely support and comments lately, and they make all the difference. Thank you so much guys, it's such a boost and inspiration when I hear from you. And thank you to my beta reader, thelordofdarkreunion, as always, as well as the lovely folks in the MEFFW Discord. This story is nearly completely written now, only a little more to go. We're so close I can taste it, surely I can limp across the finish line!
Chapter 70: Part 3: Chapter 16
Summary:
In which Garrus doesn't see it coming.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 16
The Citadel
“Hey there, Big Guy. Care for a dance?”
Jane stood before him, her arms crossed as she looked between the two of them with amusement that seemed to war with something, a look Garrus knew meant trouble. It was almost feral, the sort of gleam that made him feel like hunted prey, and he swallowed, unsure yet if it was a good thing or a bad. Regardless, he could feel his thrumming pulse quicken in anticipation, one way or the other.
His eyes flicked down, and his breath hitched in his throat. She was draped in the most elegant dress he’d ever seen her in, and he chided himself when he realized the first thought he had was how much he wanted to unwrap her like a silken present.
It was a shimmering black dress that fell to her mid-calf, and it flowed around her as she shifted her weight to one side in a way that revealed a long slit that exposed one pale leg. His mouth went dry as he forced his eyes upwards, past her wide hips, the dip of her waist, to take in the details of the dress. It covered her chest almost completely except for a small window that revealed just enough to suggest the rest. The silky fabric reached upwards to her neck, the darkness of it accentuating the vivid fire of her hair. It was styled in an elegant knot, just a few locks hanging loose, tempting him to reach out and touch.
“I, uh-” Garrus’ mandibles fluttered, and he swallowed as he fumbled for words. Her smile widened into something more predatory, making his stomach clench almost painfully.
“Um, we’re talking here, human.” The turian woman glared at Jane, causing Garrus’ eyes to dart between the two of them. He must have looked as panicked as he felt, because Jane’s amusement only seemed to grow.
“Is that so?” Jane asked, her voice dripping with disbelief. She extended a hand toward him, an invitation, and he took it before he could blink. Her eyes narrowed in satisfaction as she stepped backwards toward the dance floor, leading him onwards as she flashed a quick, victorious look in the other turian’s direction.
To his surprise, her omni-tool flashed to life above her wrist suddenly, and with a small wave, the music faltered before cutting out altogether. The people dancing paused, looking up just as a new song started up, distinctly different than before. Garrus could tell by the style and types of instruments that it wasn’t turian or even asari. Something human, he expected, but he didn’t have time to think about it further as Jane tugged him into an unfamiliar dance position.
“What are you doing?” Garrus asked quietly as he looked down at the odd stance. One of her hands held his out away from them at about shoulder height, her other hand around his waist. She’d positioned his other arm above hers, his hand coming to rest over her shoulder blade.
“Relax,” she whispered, “It’ll be fun. Just follow my lead and loosen up a little.” She began leading him across the dance floor, keeping in time with the music. Garrus’ attention remained on their feet as he attempted to see the pattern and learn the footing as quickly as he could. He wasn’t a bad dancer, he knew a few similar asari dances, but this one had a quick and interesting pattern he was finding a little difficult to follow.
“Where did you learn to do this?” He asked after a moment, and Jane shrugged before spinning him out and away from her. She tugged him back in, and he was pleased to see that he was beginning to anticipate the dance steps as they began the pattern again.
“It’s called the tango, and you’d be surprised what sorts of skills you’re forced to learn for undercover missions. I’ve had more than a few Earth side missions over the years.” She stated vaguely, and after a moment of silence, he pressed further.
“Sounds like a story worth hearing. Dancing isn’t a standard part of a turian’s military training.” Garrus pointed out, but Jane declined to elaborate, her smile almost smug as she continued to lead him through the dance. They’d gathered quite the audience, their dance becoming the focal point of the floor.
After a minute or two, Garrus was finally feeling more surefooted, comfortable enough that he chanced a little improvisation. He let his fingers on her upper back trace a gentle circle along the exposed skin there, and he felt her shiver before pulling him closer. As they spun, he let one leg circle out, his torso twisting away ever so slightly before returning to position.
“Now you’re getting it.” Jane hummed approvingly, her eyes hooded as she looked up at him heatedly. Her eyes flicked to the side, and as they spun around again, he saw the turian woman from before as she turned and left the dance floor. He looked back at Jane, who looked very self-satisfied.
Garrus rolled his eyes at her, but jerked suddenly, almost losing his footing as her fingers pressed into the sensitive skin of his waist. She chuckled, her voice low as they continued, the footing getting more and more complicated as they went. She clutched him closer, their heated breaths mingling as their bodies pressed against each other. They were close enough as she gazed up at him that he was tempted to lean down to brush his forehead against hers, but as they spun again, he force himself to focus on the dance.
As they continued, though, he settled into the pattern of it, the rhythm of the music and their bodies washing over him, the heat of it becoming intoxicating. She became his only focus, her gravity drawing him in as they locked eyes, unable to look away until she spun him out again.
To his surprise, he came face to face with an utterly speechless and confounded looking James Vega as he stood with the spectators. The lieutenant's eyes were wide with dawning realization as he watched their dance, and as Garrus spun back into Jane’s arms, he saw her look back at James with an easy wink.
“So much for your little game.” Garrus muttered as they returned to the now familiar pattern of footing and turns, and Jane chuckled as she looked up at him through her lashes.
“It was getting boring anyway. You’re much more interesting.” She replied huskily as their thighs brushed against each other, and Garrus bit back a groan. He tightened his grip on her, enjoying the soft feel of her under his fingers. It was becoming harder to focus, and he brushed his fingers over the silken fabric of her dress, struggling against the sudden desire to rip the beautiful thing off her and-
Garrus blinked with the sudden realization that the pace of the music had been quickening, slowly building toward a crescendo as Jane spun him around even faster, the frenzy of the dancing pattern becoming harder to keep up with. Just as suddenly, however, it seemed to slow again, and so too did their movements as Jane slowly spun him around one last time before dipping him back gently with a grin.
The spectators standing around the dance floor burst into applause as Jane stood him back up, both of them breathing hard. Jane made to step back, but Garrus grabbed her wrist and pulled her back in close, his hands moving her to waist and back as he dipped her in turn and kissed her as he had following their escape from the Collector Base months before.
He could vaguely hear the whistles and catcalls, but all he cared about was the woman in his arms, the beautiful, talented, amazing woman he loved more than life itself. He righted her, noting that the music had returned to its usual club variety, and while many of the dancers were returning to the floor, many still had their attention on them.
“Well, John wanted a distraction, right?” Jane whispered as they made their way toward the bar, “I’d say mission accomplished.” she added before turning to order a drink from the bartender. Garrus couldn’t argue with that. For a few minutes there, most of the top floor of the casino seemed to have had their eyes on them.
“What. The hell .” They both turned to see James standing before them, gesturing between them. “Are you two… together? Like, seriously together? Is this a new thing or have you both just been having a good laugh at me this whole time?” Garrus and Jane shared a look before she turned back to James with a grin.
“Definitely the latter.” Jane stated, and James huffed a sigh as he crossed his arms with evident irritation.
“In our defense,” Garrus shrugged, feeling a little sheepish, “We weren’t exactly hiding it. You missed some pretty obvious hints.”
“So you guys have been dating this entire time ?”
“Just over a year now, wouldn’t you say, Garrus?” Jane looked up at him, her smile softening as she bumped her hip into his. He returned the smile as he thought back to that first night – the way she’d looked, silhouetted against the endless stars, her surprised expression when he’d followed her after their illuminating sparring match, the silken threads of her hair between his fingers, the first touch of her soft lips against his plates-
“Something like that.” He mused quietly, losing himself in her.
“Huh.” James chuckled, and they both turned to see him smile. “You guys really love each other, don’t you.” Their eyes met again, and Garrus wrapped an arm around her, savoring the feeling of her.
“Yeah.” Jane stated simply, her voice low and warm as she leaned into him, and Garrus nearly purred.
“Well, good for you.” James said firmly, “The world needs a little more love in it.” He paused before crossing his arms over his chest good-naturedly. “Still a bit of a dick move, though, Lola. I think you owe me.” Jane raised a brow at him skeptically.
“How do you figure that? Why doesn’t he owe you anything?” She jabbed a thumb in Garrus’ direction, and he did his best to put an innocent face on. Not that it mattered, James wasn’t fantastic at reading turian expressions yet.
“Because I know which one of you wears the pants.” James snorted, and though Jane laughed, Garrus couldn’t stop the slight tilt of his head as he pondered the human phrase, confused. As far as he knew, they both usually preferred wearing pants, and at the moment, Jane was actually wearing a dress.
“And what, exactly, did you have in mind?” Jane asked skeptically as she crossed her arms, and James shrugged.
“Nothing crazy. But I’m planning on getting a little ink-” he gestured to his back, “-sometime before we ship out again. Could use a buddy for a little moral support.”
Jane blinked as her arms dropped to her sides, “Wait, is this about what we talked about a while back?” She asked, and Garrus eyed them both with confusion, no idea what they were referring to.
“It might.” James replied vaguely, and Jane’s expression seemed to brighten even as it softened.
“Sounds like a plan. Let me know when and where, and I’ll be there.” She murmured, and though James seemed about to reply, all their comm’s sprang to life at once.
“ Jane, I need a hand down here. We’re almost through, but this last part is being tricky.”
“Of course. Be right there.” Jane muttered quietly before putting down her nearly untouched drink.
“Anything I can do to help?” Garrus asked as he followed her toward the stairs, attempting to keep his stride as casual as possible. Shepard paused, considering.
“ Yes.” Shepard drew the word out as he finally came to a decision. “ We could use a hand with distracting some guards. ”
“Sure thing.” The comm cut out as Jane steered them toward the entrance to the backrooms. Garrus could pick out a number of the team as they mingled, snippets of conversation drifting toward them as they passed.
“Human, I met your ancestors long ago.” Javik was saying to one guard, “They were living in caves and throwing rocks at wildlife.” The man looked on with a well-worn sigh.
“We remind guests that some of our drinks do contain hallucinogens.” He said, his voice bored as though he’d stated the same many times that evening. “Please drink responsibly.”
Garrus choked back a chuckle. He could see why Shepard would request assistance. At this rate, they were going to attract the wrong kind of attention. Tali was nearby begging another guard to show her which foods were safe for her to eat, and not far off, Kaidan appeared to be ‘crying’ in front of another guard regarding money supposedly lost while betting.
“Okay, what needs doing?” Jane whispered as they came up beside Shepard, his eyes shimmering unnaturally due to the lenses he was wearing. They were more than a little eerie.
“The safe room is that door just over there.” Shepard gestured covertly to a door at the end of a short hallway, just beyond the side room they were looking into. “We need to access the panel just over there, but it’s nearly impossible with the cameras and guards watching. My first thought was ‘damn, I wish we had Kasumi’, but then I realized you’re not so bad, yourself.” He looked at Jane, who looked back at him with mock offense.
“Gee, thanks.” She murmured with an affectionate roll of her eyes. “If you’ve been running around messing with the security system right under their noses this whole time, why didn’t you call me for help sooner?”
“Well, you were late , so I didn’t have a whole lot of options but to do it myself.” Shepard hissed as he frowned at her, and she shrugged with a sheepish toss of her shoulders. After a pause, he smiled and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You do look good though.” His eyes flicked to the exposed scars on her arm, and she looked away.
“Thanks.” Jane replied quietly before slipping past him, her pleasure at his words warring with her obvious discomfort. “Let’s get this show on the road.”
“Okay. Garrus,” Garrus nodded as the Commander turned to him, “strike up conversation with the guard over there, make sure he’s facing away from the panel. I’ll handle the other one.”
“Got it.”
“Okay. Jane, as soon as you disable the two cameras, you need to disengage the controls over by the door. Then we need to get through those doors as quickly as possible. Brooks, are you in position?”
“ Yes, I’m at the panel by the door. I’m ready to pass through it as soon as the system is down and you guys get here.”
“Everybody set?” Shepard asked quietly, and after a chorus of acknowledgments, they began.
Garrus made his way toward the guard, his mind racing for topics of conversation. He caught a glimpse of Jane out of the corner of his eye as she pulled up her omni-tool, and an idea occurred to him.
“Ah!” He exclaimed as he gestured toward the guard, getting his attention, “A human. Perfect. I’m kind of on the outs with my human girlfriend. Could you give me some insights?” The guard stared at Garrus through his visor as though he’d suddenly grown a second head.
“Sir, I am definitely not an expert.” The guard grunted, and Garrus struggled to keep his face straight at the man’s deadpanned words. Behind the guard, Jane flickered, then disappeared.
“Oh, but surely you have more of a clue than me. What sorts of displays of contrition do human women usually like? I could-” Garrus racked his brain for something outrageous. What would a krogan do to impress a girl? “-err, I could headbutt someone? Or maybe rip apart a varren with my bare hands?”
The guard’s eyes widened, his lip curling in horror and disgust, and Garrus kept his mandibles close to his face as he tried not to laugh. Just behind the guard, he watched as a camera sparked, and its small red dot died.
“Or, uhhh… I could recite sappy poetry?” Garrus asked hopefully, his mind drifting back to one odd krogan he’d encountered back on Illium. The guard’s expression slowly morphed into one of confusion, then consideration.
“That’s… not a bad idea, actually.” He said thoughtfully, “I think poetry usually goes over well with ladies?” He paused to think, and nearby Garrus heard a soft click and hiss as another camera shut down. “You probably know her best.” the guard continued, “Why don’t you just take her out for a date doing something she loves doing?”
Garrus blinked, the truth of the words sparking a sudden idea. The distraction he was supposed to be providing shifted to the back of his mind as he considered the guard’s suggestion. He’d been working on a plan in the back of his mind for a little while, and though he’d figured out where he’d take her, he’d been drawing a blank regarding the details. He’d considered some sort of grand romantic gesture, a la what Kasumi had helped him plan before the Collector Base. But without Kasumi, he’d been left floundering. At the guard’s words, though, he had a revelation of sorts.
He did know Jane. And he knew exactly what sort of activity she’d enjoy most. She and he weren’t terribly dissimilar in that regard, which was part of why they worked so well.
“ Okay guys, both cameras are down, about to disable the controls. Get ready to move your asses.” Jane hissed into the comm, and Garrus smiled.
“You know, you’re right.” He said to the guard brightly. “I’m going to give it some thought. Thank you for your advice, it was invaluable. Goodbye!” With a duck of his head, Garrus turned and walked off as casually as he could.
“You have a good night, now.” The guard said as his attention quickly switched to a different group of guests nearby, and Garrus made his way toward Shepard nearby.
“ Okay, go!” Jane exclaimed as she reappeared before the security controls, her hair slightly disarrayed, her eyes narrowed as she focused. A small panel nearby popped open, revealing a disheveled looking Brooks, and Shepard gestured to Garrus to wait. The final guard looked away, and they both darted forward to join the two women.
Brooks opened the safe room door and waved them all in. The door closed behind them, revealing their quarry, Elijah Khan, the arms dealer responsible for the weapons used during the attack on Shepard at the sushi restaurant.
The older man sat behind his desk as he stared into an impressive fireplace, his back to them, his head bowed as though in prayer. Shepard stepped forward carefully.
“Khan,” He started, his voice steady and even, “I’m not here to threaten you. We need to talk.”
The man behind the desk didn’t move, and that was when Garrus noticed his unnatural stillness. Jane noticed it, too, because after a moment, she moved around the desk. Her face darkened as she looked down at the man, pausing only a heartbeat before reaching forward to swivel his chair around so that he turned to face them.
“What the hell ?” Brooks exclaimed as Jane shot her a hard look, but Garrus could understand the woman’s shock. He couldn’t help his own intake of breath as they all took in the bloody hole drilled neatly through the dead man’s forehead. Shepard muttered a curse under his breath as he ran a hand over his close cropped hair.
“And here I had this bad-cop routine all planned.” Garrus muttered dryly, and Jane rolled her eyes, the corner of her lips quirking upwards in a hint of a crooked smile. It had been awhile since she'd given him shit about being C-Sec, and he wondered if she was queuing up jokes at his expense.
Brooks moved over to Khan’s console and began typing, but then looked up at Shepard in consternation, “Commander! There’s a deletion order on the terminal.”
“Damn it.” Shepard cursed again, and Jane shouldered in to access the console.
“Everything’s been wiped.” Brooks continued, “I don’t know if it was him, or the killer, or–” She gasped, her eyes going wide, “When I tripped that alarm, did I screw this up?” She paused, watching as Jane continued typing, her fingers swiping through the displays. “What are you looking for?”
“Mistakes.” Jane answered curtly, glancing up at Brooks quickly with weighing eyes before returning her focus to her work. Finally, she stopped, her face triumphant as she took a half step backwards. “Thought so. Whoever it was had to do this fast. They wiped the terminal, but not the comm.” Jane looked up, her face thoughtful as Brooks nodded in understanding.
“Oh.” Brooks licked her lips before brightening. “So, we can take the comm back to the safe house to scan it, or-” Jane tapped the display one last time and the huge screen behind them sprang to life. The picture was fuzzy, leaving it impossible to make out more than the silhouette of a person. They all turned in surprise, and Shepard’s face darkened.
“ Elijah .” The heavily modulated voice of the figure said, “ Come crawling back ?”
“Guess again.” Shepard growled as he crossed his arms, glaring up at the screen and the indistinguishable face. Brooks immediately pulled up her omni-tool and mouthed that she would trace the call.
“ You .” The person stated, and though they couldn’t see the face, they could almost hear the sneer. “ I see you’ve recovered from flopping on the floor like a fish. ” If they hadn’t yet been convinced that this was the person behind the attack, they were now.
“You’ll need to do better than that.” Shepard’s stance relaxed as he leaned back, raising an eyebrow, “The last guy that trash talked me was a few kilometers taller than you.”
“ Brave .” The voice snorted lightly, and the person, whoever it was, seemed to sit back in their seat. “ I thought as much. But it won’t matter. You have nothing. All you can do is wait for the hammer to fall.” The final words sent a shiver of dread through Garrus. Whatever this person was planning, they hadn’t seen the worst of it yet.
“Why do this?” Shepard asked sharply, stepping closer to the screen, “What did I do to you?”
“ I’m going to take everything you have, and everything you are.” The person promised darkly, their voice full of a sudden seething intensity. The connection cut out abruptly a moment later, and Shepard huffed a sigh before turning to Brooks.
“Damn it!” She breathed as she tapped her omni-tool in frustration. “Sorry, Commander. There wasn’t enough time to trace the call.” She said regretfully, and Shepard shook his head as he turned back toward the door and waved a hand in Jane’s direction.
“We’re not finished.” He stated firmly, “Pull out the data drives.” Jane nodded, ripping her narrowed eyes away from Brooks as she returned her focus to the console before her.
“The ones that got wiped?” Brooks asked skeptically as she watched Jane, “You think we can find something?”
“With EDI, anything is possible.” Jane murmured as she continued typing. A disk popped out from the side of the terminal, and she snapped it up quickly. “The sooner we get this to her, the sooner we can track down this threat.”
“Exactly.” Shepard agreed, snatching the disk as Jane tossed it to him. Garrus began to follow after him and Brooks as they made for the door, but drew up suddenly. He turned to look back at Jane, who had stopped to look back at the dead body of Elijah Khan one last time, her expression unreadable.
“Everything okay?” He asked quietly, but Jane stood stock still for another moment before finally looking back at him.
“Yeah. I just…” She trailed off, her eyebrows drawing down in consternation. “Something feels… I don’t know. I have a bad feeling about this.” She shook her head and started toward the door. “Come on. Let’s talk about it more when we get back.”
Back to the apartment, EDI and Brooks immediately set to work on the encryption in an attempt to figure out if anything could be salvaged from the disc. As soon as it was cracked, they began discussing what little they found regarding the mercs’ weapon purchases, only to be interrupted by Glyph’s announcement that someone was using Shepard’s Spectre codes to break into the Citadel Archives.
A plan was devised, and they split up to hurriedly begin dawning their equipment for the mission. As soon as Jane and Garrus stepped foot into their room, she quickly shut the door and turned to him.
“Shut up and listen.” Jane began, her voice hushed and urgent, and Garrus felt himself stiffen in surprise at her tone. She turned and began pacing as she reached up to pull pins from her hair, letting it tumble down around her face. “Something is wrong.”
“You mean besides the unknown entity who stole your brother’s Spectre codes to break into the Archive?” He asked dryly, and she shook her head in frustration as they both began stripping and pulling on their undersuits.
“There’s something about Brooks.”
“Brooks?” He asked, surprised. “What about her? Are you saying we can’t trust her?”
“I can’t quite put my finger on it.” Jane began as she started pulling out and affixing her hard suit. “She seems so familiar, like I’d met her before or something. But I can't figure out where or when. I’m starting to think she’s not exactly who she says she is. There’s something about her eyes, something disingenuous.”
“Are you sure ?” Garrus asked, reaching for his gauntlets.
“No, I’m not sure. But back at the casino, in the safe room with Khan… For a moment there, I could have sworn-”
The door opened, and Jane cut off just as she finished the last clamp on her boot and looked up. Garrus turned and-
There was a sharp sting of pain. The world spun.
Everything went black.
“-rrus.”
His brain pounded against his skull painfully. Garrus groaned as something shook his shoulder.
“Garrus.” The familiar voice murmured in his ear, and he winced. “Garrus, you need to wake up.” He opened his eyes, and Jane’s face swam into view. “Are you okay?”
“Yeeeeah.” He groaned before pushing up onto his elbows. He blinked as the world seemed to sharpen around him and his confusion grew. “Where…” He trailed off as he sat up fully and looked around. “Where are we?”
“That,” Jane began softly as she sat back on her heels, “is a very good question.”
They were alone in a low ceilinged, windowless room on some sort of long, low platform. One wall was open to reveal a series of giant cylinders that were large enough to easily fit a few krogan.
“Ah, you’re awake, I see.” Jane and Garrus both looked up at the voice, and she smiled as her face lit up.
“John! Thank god you’re okay.” She stood as Shepard approached. “Where are we? How did we get here? Where…” Jane trailed off as he came to a stop before them, his arms crossed as his eyes darted between the both of them. Garrus pushed himself to his feet, and by the time he was standing, Jane’s eyes were narrowed. “Where are the others?” She asked slowly as she searched her brother’s face.
“This is the Citadel Archive. The others should be along soon enough.” Shepard stated evenly, but something seemed off. Wrong. Garrus couldn’t put his finger on it, but there was something about his tone. Jane’s fist clenched tightly, a sneer of anger and disgust slowly unfurling across her face.
“Who the hell are you, and why are you wearing my brother’s face?” She spat, and alarm bells went off in Garrus’ head as his attention snapped back to Shepard’s face, his hand reaching for a sidearm that he knew wasn’t there. The other man’s eyes widened a fraction, and he smiled with a toss of his shoulders, his arms opening outwards in a display of friendly confusion.
“Jane, what are you talking about? It’s me, John. Your brother. We grew up together on Earth.” Shepard said calmly, but his smile never reached his eyes. Jane let loose a bark of bitter, unamused laughter.
“Surprisingly, this isn’t the first time I’ve run into someone I thought was impersonating my brother. Last time he managed to convince me he was the real thing. You’re going to have to do better than that piss poor performance.”
Shepard’s hands fell to his side and his smile morphed into something cold and calculated as he shrugged, and Garrus’ blood ran cold. Whoever this was, Jane was right. It wasn’t Shepard.
“It was worth a shot, but I knew I’d never fool you.” The lookalike raised an eyebrow consideringly. “I’m interested to know how you figured me out so quickly, though.” Jane stared at him, her expression stony as rage seeped from her like heat waves.
“The small scar on your hairline above your left temple.” She stated simply. The Shepard doppelganger lifted a hand to finger the marking. “Unlike my brother, you don’t actually have any scar there. I can see that you’ve shaved the hair away there, but there’s no actual mark. The skin there is smooth.” After a heartbeat, the man chuckled darkly.
“Ah, they told me you were sharp. I suppose I shouldn’t have underestimated you.”
“No. You shouldn’t have.” Jane muttered before she surged forward, reaching for him.
“Jane, don’t!” Garrus exclaimed, as he reached out to intercept her, holding her back.
“Let go of me!” She yelled as she fought against him, intent on reaching her target, but he held fast.
“You should listen to him.” The Shepard impersonator drawled languidly, and Garrus looked up to see the man’s pistol trained on them. Jane stiffened as she noticed the weapon and immediately stopped fighting. Garrus moved to place himself between the two of them, and the other man smirked as he stepped closer. “I honestly didn’t think this was going to go so smoothly.”
Garrus snorted, “What, is this the part where the villain gloats and monologues, giving up his dastardly plot?” The smirk slowly melted off the doppelganger's face.
“No.” His pistol lowered slowly. It snapped back up, catching Garrus in the side of the head and his world exploded in pain as he grunted.
“Garrus!” Jane caught him as he stumbled backwards, and she lowered him to the ground as he struggled to regain his bearings. She glared up at the man wearing her brother’s face with burning hatred. “What are you, and what do you want with us?”
“I’m Commander Shepard. Or, I will be. Soon enough.” The man replied, his pistol not trained on them, but still at the ready. “The Illusive Man had me made, a backup in case anything went wrong with the original when they resurrected him. But Cerberus doesn’t matter, not anymore. I’m awake now, and once I handle your brother and all his little devotees, I can step into the role I was made for.”
“Ah, so you’re a clone? Just a pale imitation of the original?” Garrus snorted as Jane helped him back to his feet. He could see a satisfying twitch of anger on the clone’s face as his eyes tightened.
“You and your pitiful excuse for wit don’t matter anymore, Archangel . You and all your friends are about to be trapped inside these iridium vaults and forgotten forever.” He turned to sneer at at Jane. “Your brother should be here soon enough and you’ll all vanish. That’s the handy thing about this war – No one questions when a few extra people disappear.”
“And why did you go to the bother of, what? Kidnapping us? Why not just kill us? And how did you pull it off, anyway?” Jane asked with genuine curiosity.
“It helps that you’re all so gullible. We had no trouble getting past your defenses, earning your trust…” The clone’s smile widened as dawning realization bloomed on Jane’s face.
“Brooks.” she whispered, and he nodded with satisfaction.
“She knew you suspected her, or at least that you didn’t trust her. It was quite easy for her to knock you both out, slightly more tricky to get you here. But I needed a contingency plan, and you’ll work nicely.” Jane’s jaw clenched, and she took a half step backwards as the clone raised his sidearm to level at her chest. Garrus tried to move to stand between them, but Jane raised a hand to stop him.
“What do you mean by ‘contingency’?” She asked, and the clone raised his other hand as his omni-tool sprang to life.
“You’re Shepard’s sister. Commander Shepard’s darling baby sister. Word is he’d do anything to protect you. He’s been stubborn, refusing to fall in with my plans since this all began, what with surviving the initial hit and pulling the data off Khan’s terminal.” He paused, letting his words sink in. Garrus jumped back as a blue force field appeared before them, separating them from the clone. “You’re nothing more than plan B. Leverage in case your brother decides to be difficult again. Bait, if you will.”
Garrus and Jane both turned to see that the blue barrier extended completely around them, and panic began rising in his chest. He could see a flicker of fear on Jane’s face before they turned back to Shepard’s lookalike.
“Settle in and get comfortable. Your stay will most likely be of long duration.” The clone turned and began walking toward the exit. “It was fun while it lasted, but I should go.” As he disappeared through the door, the ground suddenly jerked below them. Garrus’ arms swung out as he struggled to keep his footing, and Jane grabbed hold of him as she attempted to stay upright. The panel they were standing on shot toward the wall, which Garrus abruptly realized wasn’t a wall at all, but one of the archive vaults. Its circular door had opened, and the whole platform was being inserted inside.
The floor settled as it came to a stop, and the door closed, locking with a loud clang. Garrus blinked, but couldn’t see anything within the utter darkness. He struggled against the bone deep dread quickly numbing his limbs. The silence was deafening, echoing through his skull as he racked his brain for ways they could escape the vault, but he was coming up blank. He reached out in search of Jane, hands fumbling before him until she broke the silence.
“ Fuck. ”
Notes:
Wow, friends, I have been so sick. Thank goodness I have buffer chapters, not much has happened this past week or two. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter, thank you so much to my beta reader, thelordofdarkreunion, all my writing friends, and all of you readers! Especially those who have shown their support, I appreciate it so much!
Chapter 71: Part 3: Chapter 17
Summary:
In which Garrus enjoys a firefight in the CIC of a warship, a favorite of his.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 17
The Citadel
“ Fuck .”
Garrus’ mind raced as he pulled up his omni-tool. The room was bathed in a dim orange light, revealing nothing helpful except for a desk with an inactive console terminal. Jane hurried over to it, but it quickly became apparent that the console wasn’t powered. The clone’s doing, most likely. Garrus hissed angrily as he searched the rest of the vault, but to no avail. There were no controls, buttons, or latches anywhere, and any attempt to contact anyone over the comm failed. Jane cursed again and there was a clatter of armor as she sank to the floor, leaning against the desk with her head in her hands.
“You okay?” he asked as he came to sit beside her. Her fists clenched through handfuls of her hair for a moment before she took a deep breath and let go.
“Yeah. Just pissed.” There was silence between them. “I don’t know what to do. This is really bad.” She added in a whisper, and Garrus registered the icy cold dismay settling into the pit where his stomach had once been. He looked down at his omni-tool. He couldn’t just leave it activated, but the thought of sitting in absolute darkness for the rest of their lives, however short that may end up being, made him feel sick.
His mandibles flicked as a thought occurred to him. He swiped through the apps on his omni-tool, and then gave it a small wave. A tiny, flickering orange candle appeared on the floor before them, and he deactivated his omni-tool, treasuring the small dose of satisfaction.
“Is that… is that the omni-candle from the little date Kasumi helped you set up the night before we hit the Collector’s base?” Jane asked with amused astonishment, and he snorted.
“Yeah. Though I’ll admit, this wasn’t the purpose I foresaw using it for.”
They sat there in silence, watching the flicker of the mock flame together. Jane leaned her head down to rest against his shoulder, and he hummed as he gave her a nuzzle.
“Sorry I never got around to downloading that combat drone program Tali suggested.” She murmured after a moment. “Maybe I could have used something like that to get us out of here.”
“Maybe,” Garrus agreed, unable to stop a smile spreading across his face, “but then we’d have to deal with... that noise it makes .” He shivered overdramatically and Jane chuckled. She knew his annoyance with combat drones all too well, and the way he liked to tease Tali about it incessantly.
Before he knew it, they were both laughing. It built over a matter of moments, the sound reverberating through the small space until it crescendoed. It left his sides hurting and his mandibles sore, and Jane clutched her middle as she doubled over. The laughter had a manic edge to it, uncontrolled and shaky with an underlying dissonance of panic.
They leaned into each other as their chuckles finally began to peter out, seeping up slowly like fetid bubbles from a rotting bog. It wasn’t until it was nearly silent again that Garrus registered the forlorn chords humming in his subvocals.
There was no way out. They had no choice but to wait.
“Garrus, what are we going to do?” Jane murmured quietly, and his heart clenched at the despondency in her voice. He found her hand and wove their fingers together, clutching it like a lifeline. He wasn’t sure if he was looking to comfort her or himself.
“I don’t know.” He admitted carefully, possibilities and estimations beginning to run through his head as he considered. “He didn’t lock us in here just to get rid of us, he said we were bait. I imagine he would have just shot us if he only wanted us dead. I guess we just hope he decides we’re useful enough for whatever his plan is, and that we can foil it and escape somehow.”
“Right. So we’ll just sit tight until then.” Jane stated numbly, a hint of the same frustration he felt tinging her voice, and Garrus nodded.
“Yeah. Hopefully, we’re not kept waiting too long. I’m guessing this is a fully sealed system. We probably have an hour’s worth of air, maybe two if we’re lucky.” He cut off as he ran through ideas, options, and possible eventualities. Some were grimmer than others.
Perhaps they had an hour or two, but if there were only one of them, it would last a bit longer. Long enough for Shepard to come and save Jane? What were the chances the clone planned on leaving them there for dead, all but forgotten? Assuming Shepard avoided whatever trap was being laid for him—which was a whole other bundle of anxiety that Garrus was trying to ignore—would he even be able to figure out where they were? Would they be able to-
“I’m glad I’m not stuck here alone.” Jane admitted softly, breaking the silence and snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts. Her gaze was on her lap as she rested one arm atop her knee, and Garrus’ stomach twisted. There was a vulnerability to the slump of her shoulders, her head hanging as she sighed, and it ate at him painfully. He clutched her hand a little tighter, flailing around for a topic of conversation to distract them both.
“So,” Garrus finally began tentatively, “that scar on Shepard’s forehead, the one you pointed out as proof the clone wasn’t him. I always just assumed it was earned in combat, but is there a story behind it or something?” Jane grinned sheepishly at the question as she looked up.
“Yeah, though it probably wasn’t my finest moment. Sometimes I, er…” She floundered for a pause before continuing, “I struggle with self control when I get angry.” Garrus deadpanned as he raised an eyebrow at her.
“You don’t say.” He stated dryly, and she glared at him playfully.
“Enough from the peanut gallery.” She snapped, and he chuckled. “Anyway, when we were kids, I got into a spat with one of the other kids in our street crew.”
“The Reds?”
“No, before we joined them. We were just a ragtag group of kids sticking together so we wouldn’t get beaten up or mugged. Anyway, the argument eventually came to blows, and John yelled at us to knock it off and tried to separate us.” Jane leaned back, her smile wistful and bittersweet as she let the memory wash over her. “We backed off, and the kid turned to leave, but we kept exchanging insults, and the kid said something that really pissed me off. I don’t remember what anymore, it doesn’t matter.”
Jane paused, her lips curling down into a small frown, and Garrus waited for her to continue.
“I just saw red and totally lost it. I picked up a rock, a big, heavy, sharp one. But here’s the thing, I was like seven or eight years old, and I hadn’t exactly had the chance to join a little league team or anything.” Garrus ignored the confusing human reference, supposing it was some sort of sport, “So I chucked it at the kid’s back, and completely missed. Instead, I pegged John square in the head, and he dropped like a rag doll.”
Garrus’ eyes popped in surprise and he sat forward as he turned to look at her, “Seriously?”
“Yeah, I know. Not my finest moment. But I was like seven or something.” Jane sighed, “I thought I’d killed him. God, there was so much blood. You know how head wounds are. I screamed, everyone screamed, it was chaos for a few minutes. But then he just sat up. He was a little dazed, but mostly fine and confused about why everyone was making a big deal about it. I got him to a clinic, and they agreed to patch him up, which was lucky. They sometimes refused to let street urchins in.” Garrus couldn’t help another shock of surprise. Sometimes Earth sounded horrible, but maybe that had just been the darker corner they’d grown up in.
“So he was fine?” He asked tentatively, and Jane nodded as she smiled again.
“Yeah, though he’ll never let me live it down. It always comes up at the most unexpected moments. I’ll complain about something inane and he’ll pull out the ol’ ‘at least your sibling didn’t chuck a rock at your head’ line. We’re going to be a hundred years old, crusty and living off royalties from the vids, and he’s still going to be reminding me how I almost killed him with a rock as a kid.”
Garrus began to chuckle, but stopped as a bright white light materialized out of nowhere in the middle of the vault.
“ And you will have completely deserved it, I’m sure.” Shepard’s dryly amused voice echoed through the room unexpectedly as Glyph coalesced before them.
“ Commander .” the drone chirped cheerfully, “ I have found them.”
“Oh, thank god.” Jane whispered, and Garrus could feel her relax as she released a breath she’d been holding. Quickly, she stood and offered Garrus a hand. “John, assuming that’s really you this time, if you get us out of here, I’ll let you give me shit about whatever you want for the rest of our lives. However long that ends up being.”
“ I’ll hold you to that.” Shepard chuckled, but Garrus looked at Glyph critically.
“How did you get in here? Aren’t these vaults made of iridium? They should be nearly impregnable.”
“ Trust me, I know. It was no small feat.” Liara’s voice replaced Shepard’s emanating from the drone. “ It involved tracking your biometric data, salarian intelligence, and a hanar prostitute with camera implants.”
Garrus and Jane shared a wide-eyed look. “Seriously?”
“ No. ” Liara stated bluntly, and they both nearly fell over as the vault began to move with a sudden jerk. “ But the truth is boring. ”
When it finally came to a stop, the door opened with a hiss, and light streamed in. Jane winced, lifting a hand to cover her eyes before leading the way out of the vault. Before them stood the true John Shepard, and Garrus didn’t need to check the tiny scar to know it was the real deal this time. His body language, stance, and expression spoke volumes. His amusement at having to break his sister and best friend out of a vault was genuine, and his relief that they were alright was nearly palpable.
“Honestly, I’m surprised you guys let yourselves end up in this situation.” Shepard quipped, stepping back after giving Jane a quick hug, fighting back a smile. He received more than one wry look from his team arrayed behind him.
“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Jane snapped as she leaned back on her heels and crossed her arms. “We were drugged back at the apartment, and you let them spirit us away right under your nose.”
“Oh, come on! I got a message from you saying that something had come up, and that you’d meet us here.”
“Well, I might not have sent it, but looks like it was bang on the money, ‘cause here we are!” Jane rolled her eyes, and though the conversation had all the animosity of any sibling spat, Garrus could see both Shepards were overjoyed to have found each other.
“Don’t listen to him,” Tali leaned in with a mock whisper, “Glyph had to pull our asses out of a vault, too.” Jane smirked as she turned a sardonic eye on her brother, who shrugged.
“Guys, not to put a damper on the family reunion or anything,” Kaidan spoke up from nearby, raising his hand slightly into the air, “But maybe now we should turn our attention to the clone currently heading off to steal the Normandy?”
“Wait, hold up, what ?” Jane’s eyes went wide, and Shepard gave a quick nod before ordering everyone to the door.
“You’re going to need to fill us in on what we missed while we were, uh… indisposed.” Garrus pointed out as they all filtered out of the room and through the Archive.
“Of course. It’s been an exciting hour or two. First though,” Shepard glanced at Jane questioningly, “Do I really say ‘I should go’ too often?” She cocked an eyebrow at him in confusion, but then looked away in consideration.
“I mean, yeah. You do say it pretty often.”
“Really?” Shepard asked forlornly, and she nodded, but Garrus couldn’t help but butt in.
“You both do, actually.” Both Spectres turned to look back at him. “Shepard more than Jane, I think, but yeah.”
“I thought it was just a Shepard family thing. Like your trademark or something.” Ashley added from nearby, and Javik sneered.
“You should never announce your plan, even when leaving a conversation. It shows weakness.”
“But they seem so attached to it. Why ruin a good thing?” Kaidan quipped with a smile. Both Shepards wore astounded faces as they looked from person to person as they picked their way through the Archive.
“I thought it was some weird Earth custom or something.” Wrex muttered with a shrug.
“You could try ‘I’ll be seeing you’, that might spice things up.” Liara added, one corner of her lips upturned in a small smile.
“ I would be happy to recite the 48 possible variations when you both have time. ” EDI added helpfully, and Shepard turned to Tali.
“But I’m more confident than that clone is.” He pointed out hopefully, “More in control. With me, it’s more like ‘that’s all for now.’” Garrus wasn’t sure if Shepard was trying to convince Tali or himself.
“Of course, sweetheart.” Tali reassured as she took his arm comfortingly and gave his hand a gentle pat. “It’s always important to remind them who’s running the show.” Shepard smiled, and Jane rolled her eyes.
“Oh, damn straight.” James snorted with a smile, “You’re the Commander . Rank has its privileges. End the conversation however you want.” Shepard nodded curtly at that, his head held a little higher, sufficiently comforted. Jane sighed and slapped him on the back.
“Okay, enough stroking his ego. Let’s go save the Normandy.”
One short, tense skycar ride later, and they found themselves standing before the Normandy’s airlock, staring down a very angry and confused Traynor and her toothbrush.
“That’s a Cision Pro Mark 4.” Shepard explained with forced calm as Garrus and Jane moved to scan the door lock. “It uses mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums.”
“Yes,” Traynor snapped as her nostrils flared, “ I told you that.”
“And I remember, because I’m the real Shepard.” He explained evenly, his patience holding on by a hair.
“He can’t fire you without a disciplinary hearing, Traynor!” Jane stated firmly as she rolled her eyes, scoffing in frustration as the door lock refused to budge. She turned to look back at the other woman with a raised eyebrow, “And really ? The first thing you grab is your toothbrush?”
“But someone just threw me off the ship!” She cried, ignoring Jane, “If it wasn’t you…”
“It was a clone.” Garrus piped up as Jane returned her attention to the door, “It’s sort of a long story.” The door finally pinged and opened, and they all hurried into the airlock as the Normandy’s engines began powering up.
When they did finally make their way aboard the Normandy, it wasn’t via the locked inner door. No, it was through an emergency exit hatch in the floor, of all things. They’d needed a very fine, controlled mass effect field to get it open, and by some stroke of luck, they’d just so happened to have one at hand.
“If you had told me this morning that a toothbrush was going to save the Normandy,” Shepard began as they quietly picked their way through the low crawl space, “I’d have been very skeptical.” Somewhere behind Garrus, he heard Jane snort softly, only to be hushed by her brother. Above them, they could hear the footsteps of the clone’s mercenaries. Slowly, they made their way through the space, but after a moment, Shepard added, “Pretty sure we broke it, though, getting through the hatch. Remind me to reimburse her for that.”
“ Seriously , John? That’s what you’re worried about right now?” Jane hissed, only to grumble wordlessly as she was hushed again. They reached the end and came face to face with a green button. Shepard looked back at them, their weapons at the ready, and they both nodded. He hit the button.
“Watch out!” A merc yelled as the hatch popped open and they opened fire. “They’re here in the CIC!” Shepard motioned for them to spread out and they dove for cover before beginning to take out the mercs one by one. Shepard winced as a stray shot took out a display at one of the navigation posts.
“This is not the best place for a firefight!” He exclaimed in dismay, “I hope we don’t hit anything important.”
“Shoot now, worry later!” Jane replied tersely, and Garrus couldn’t help but chuckle.
“One of my favorite places to fight!” Garrus called out as he ducked back into cover after a particularly good shot. Shepard turned to him, his eyes widened in confused disbelief.
“The CIC of a warship? My warship?”
“Right there above the gardens and below the electronic shops!” Garrus stated as he lined up his next shot, and he heard a bark of laughter from Jane nearby.
“And antique shops, as I recall!” She added, and he grinned as he thought back to their mission in the old krogan hospital.
“But only if they’re classy!”
“Remind me again why I brought you two idiots along?” Jane and Garrus shared a grin, and Shepard sighed. The last merc fell, and they stood to scan the room. “Come on, let’s get to the cargo bay.”
He led the way toward the elevator and hit the button to summon it, but stopped as Jane gasped.
“What? What’s wrong?” Shepard asked sharply as he raised his weapon and turned to look around. Jane was reaching for a note affixed to what appeared to be their hamster’s tank, which sat atop a pile of things clearly intended to be thrown away.
“‘Please send this to an animal shelter for proper disposal,” Jane read, her eyes widening as she went, “as a warship is not an appropriate…’ Oooh, that is not okay!” She tossed the note and turned, her eyes flashing angrily as she clenched her fist. “That bastard was going to chuck out the hamster, John!”
“Add it to the list of his crimes.” Shepard grunted as the door opened and he stepped inside. Jane and Garrus followed suit.
“We should check on the fish after this,” Jane continued as the elevator began moving, “because if he’s getting rid of all the pets-”
“Maybe we should focus on the homicidal clone bunkered down in the shuttlebay before we start worrying about the fish.” Garrus mused lightly as he checked his heat sink, and Jane huffed in irritation, muttering to herself about hours spent feeding and caring for pets she hadn’t even bought.
When the elevator came to a stop, they took up positions beside the door. It snapped open, and they peeked around the edge, scanning what appeared to be an empty room. Slowly, they left the elevator, stepping out into the shuttlebay, their weapons raised.
There was the clanking of armored footsteps, and a fully armored Commander Shepard stepped out from behind a crate, his chest adorned with the N7 emblem and a shotgun in his hands. The clone smirked, and Garrus nearly reeled at the strangeness of staring down his best friend, his familiar face between his crosshairs.
“Well, that’s creepy.” Jane commented dryly, and a second later, the clone opened fire. They all ducked into cover as they returned fire.
“You want to stop shooting up my ship?” The clone called out from where he’d ducked down behind a crate, and Shepard growled.
“It’s not your ship.”
“It will be!” The clone exclaimed heatedly, “I’ve taken your name, your Spectre rank, even your fingerprints!”
“And then you left us to die.” Shepard replied as they slowly stepped from cover, carefully moving forward.
“Only we didn’t!” Jane called out tauntingly. “You think fake fingerprints are going to fool the Council? Or Hackett?”
“Or Anderson?” Shepard added, “My entire team made it out of the Archive. You think they’re going to sit around on their hands while you run amuck? You won’t be able to shut them all up.” The silence in the shuttlebay was deafening as they snuck up on the clone’s hiding spot, but as they turned the corner, he was nowhere to be found. “How’s that big plan looking now?”
Garrus heard the footsteps a moment too late, but Shepard spun quickly, a glowing blue fist coming up to catch the clone’s biotic attack before it could land. Jane and Garrus were both flung backwards by the shockwave that emanated from the attack, and they stumbled as they regained their footing. The two biotics were locked in a struggle as they both worked to push back the other.
“Hatchet squad to the shuttlebay!” Brooks called out as she leapt out from behind another crate, a shotgun in her hands. Shepard jumped back, a barrier springing up to protect the three of them as she fired. They quickly returned to cover, and Garrus prepared a concussive round.
As they exchanged fire, Shepard seemed like an avatar of anger, the embodiment of rage and fury as he rained biotic blasts down upon Brooks and his clone. It became difficult to tell the two apart as they zipped across the battlefield, biotic charges making them little more than blurs to the rest of them. If it weren’t for the fact that the clone was wearing Shepard’s backup armor, which had slightly different coloring, Garrus might have been in trouble. Even as it was, he had to take an extra second to double check before firing, which slowed him down and made targeting much harder.
It wasn’t as much of a problem as it could have been, though, as Shepard seemed content to take the clone on by himself, and the elevator chimed a minute or two into the fight, revealing a number of armed and ready mercs. He and Jane focused on Brooks and the newcomers, keeping Shepard’s back clear as he whittled the clone down blast by blast, bullet by bullet.
By the time Liara broke through the comm jamming, the clone was starting to look frustrated. By the time Joker and Cortez caught up in a skycar and started blocking the Normandy’s escape route, he looked absolutely livid.
“Damn it!” Garrus heard the man exclaim from across the shuttlebay, “Launch the shuttle and blow that thing out of the sky!” The clone then popped out from behind a crate and shot a few rounds at Garrus, all of which missed wide of their mark. Garrus grinned, an idea occurring to him.
“You know,” He called out, raising his voice over the sound of the shuttle bay door opening, “The real Shepard would’ve blown my head off by now!” He chanced a quick glance across the space and was pleased to see the clone’s face contorted in darkening anger.
“At least John has a winning personality,” Jane chimed in from nearby, mocking laughter in her voice, “But you’re stuck with his ugly mug and a personality only a mother could love- oh! That’s right! You were born in a test tube. You never had a mother.”
The furious snarl that was etched across the clone’s face was picturesque, and Garrus savored the satisfaction as the human stood to fire at them only to be caught in the chest with a well aimed biotic blast from Sheaprd.
The clone was back on his feet again in a flash, and before Garrus could blink, he had flung himself across the hanger deck wreathed in a blue glow. The biotic charge caught Shepard off guard, and the two men went tumbling as they grappled with each other.
“Hold on!” Jane called out as she hurried forward to help, but Shepard’s biotics pulsed before exploding outward, throwing the clone off him. The doppelganger flew backwards, colliding hard with Jane, who was caught off guard, and the two of them went rolling down the cargo ramp drawing nearer and nearer to the gaping maw opening out onto the speeding buildings of the Citadel wards below.
Garrus’s stomach dropped through the floor as he tried to force away images of Jane plummeting downward towards her death. He and Shepard sprinted after them, drawing up as the clone’s biotics sprang up around him. Grabbing hold of a dazed Jane, he stood before twisting to hold her precariously over the edge, her feet just barely touching the cargo ramp as she struggled to keep her footing. One of her arms flailed and her other gripped the clone’s wrist, her eyes wide and terrified as she chanced a glance downward.
“Stay where you are,” the clone barked as he turned to look at Shepard, “unless you want to become an only child.”
Garrus swallowed, his throat suddenly dry as his mind raced for ways to prevent his vivid fears from becoming reality. The Normandy shifted, causing them all to shift their balance, Jane’s feet barely keeping their connection with the ground.
“We can talk about this.” Shepard stated evenly, his voice calm but assertive as he lowered his shotgun. “Just step away from the edge, and we can come to some sort of understanding.” The clone scoffed, disgusted.
“Look at you.” he sneered, “What makes you so damned special? Why you and not me ?”
“Because you’re a fucking idiot.” Jane growled through gritted teeth. In a flash, her omni-tool activated over her free arm, its blade spinning into existence before plunging into the clone’s side. There wasn’t much power behind the attack and it didn’t penetrate very far, but it was enough.
The clone cried out in pain and dropped Jane just as the Normandy jostled them all again. The two of them fell backwards, and Garrus stopped breathing.
With loud clanks, both of the armored humans hit the lip of the cargo ramp hard, their hands scrambling for purchase.
“Hang on!” Garrus yelled as he shot forward, Shepard right beside him as they reached for Jane. Heart hammering in his chest, his subvocals chirped in gloried relief as his hand wrapped firmly around her wrist.
“We’ve got you!” He felt Shepard grab him firmly, holding them fast to the cargo ramp as Garrus worked to pull Jane up over the edge to safety. The clone looked on from where he struggled to keep his hold, his legs dangling over the building tops below. His face was a pained mixture of fear and grief as no one came to his aid.
“Thanks.” Jane panted as soon as they were clear, and Shepard stood as he looked down at his clone with disdain. “What about him?” She asked coldly, leaving no doubt what she thought should be done.
“To answer your question, it was never about me. It’s about us .” He gestured back at Garrus, Jane, and the rest of the Normandy with a sweep of his hand. “I’m nothing without my team.”
Shepard paused, and Garrus already knew what the Commander would do. He could see it in the minuscule sag to his shoulders as he stepped forward.
“Here,” He said as he reached down to his clone, “take my hand.” The clone looked up at him with wide, confused eyes, rage simmering just beneath the surface.
“And then?”
“And then you live!” Shepard replied hoarsely as he leaned forward a hair further. Jane grabbed her brother’s other arm to steady him as the Normandy picked up speed, her grip tight and her lips pursed in disapproval.
The clone’s face morphed into a grim mask of anger and despair. “For what?” He spat, and then he let go.
It was haunting to watch as his best friend’s face plummeted downward toward certain death, almost as though in slow motion. It was an image that would sit with him, visiting him often in the late sleepless nights to come.
The three of them stood there motionless for a few heartbeats until Shepard turned away, his face pained and defeated despite their victory. He began slowly walking back up into the shuttlebay, tonelessly responding as he was hailed by Cortez, asking permission to dock their skycar.
Jane turned back a moment or two later, “That was… anticlimactic.” Garrus nodded, and followed after.
“Is shore leave always like this?” EDI asked as they stepped into the large, posh apartment, and Jane chuckled as she collapsed onto the couch. The rest of the team filtered in, each looking exhausted and worn out in their bloodied and battered armor.
“No.” Tali grunted as she plopped down beside Jane. “This was the worst. Shore leave. Ever.” She spat, and Shepard huffed a laugh.
“Well, the Normandy still needs a few days before all the work is done, so maybe now we can take some actual time off. No explosions or anything. Just us.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Garrus replied dryly as he reached for his chest piece’s seals, “but it’s worth a shot.”
“Ah!” He looked over to see Jane sit up suddenly, realization dawning on her face. “I know where I remember Brooks from!” The room went quiet, voices vanishing as people exchanged glances.
“She was with Cerberus at one point.” Shepard said carefully, and she turned to him in surprise. “She explained that much when we were back in the Archive.”
“Yeah, I think I crossed paths with her once or twice during my time undercover with them. She went by the name Rasa back then, among other names. I think I also ran into her name while I was trying to figure out what Project Lazarus was.”
“She said she had something to do with putting together the dossiers when we were building our team for the Collector mission.” Shepard added, and Jane nodded as she leaned back again in contemplation.
“Huh. I guess that would explain it,” she mused, but any further thoughts were cut off as Joker clapped his hands.
“Alright! So after a hard day spent fighting an evil clone, you know what comes next?” the pilot asked, his voice full of giddy anticipation. Exhausted eyes swiveled to him with curiosity.
“A nap?” Garrus asked with a snort as he raised a brow plate, but Joker pointedly ignored him.
“It’s party time!” There was a series of groans from around the room.
“Well.” Wrex slapped his knees before standing and shaking out his shoulders. “I gotta get going.” He gave some excuses about fires he had to put out, and everyone offered goodbyes as he headed for the door.
“I dunno, Joker.” Shepard finally replied with a tired sigh. “How are you not exhausted? I’m going to need to sleep before I consider anything else, much less a party.”
“Oh, come on! You’re a bunch of lightweights!” Joker moaned in frustration as the rest of the team added their weary agreement to Shepard’s bid for rest.
“That’s rich coming from someone who wasn’t involved in any firefights.” Ashley grumbled as she glared at Joker, who shook a finger at her.
“Not true! I was there when it all started at Ryuusei! Shepard used me as bait !”
“Okay, okay guys. Calm down. I’m not saying no to a party, but maybe not right now. How about we all head home, wash up and sleep, and then we’ll see about heading out for drinks or something once we’re all rested?”
“I’d be game for that.” Jane nodded as she stood and stretched. They said their goodbyes, and the team filed out of the apartment, all except the Shepards, Garrus, and Tali.
“I call the shower first.” Garrus grinned as he sidestepped around Jane and made for the stairs. She laughed and hurried after him.
“Over my dead body, Vakarian.” She managed to beat him up the stairs, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him playfully as she laughed.
“I’m sure it’s big enough for the both of us, if you’re willing to share…” He murmured in her ear, and he didn’t think he was imagining the shiver that ran the length of her body.
“Now you’re talkin’.”
The next few days flew by, and catching a moment with Shepard became very difficult. Crew members kept requesting his company, whether to play games at the arcade, gamble at the casino, or just to spend quality time together at the apartment. At first, Garrus had assumed this would mean he’d be able to spend plenty of quality time with Jane, and yet she seemed nearly as in demand as her brother, just sometimes for stranger reasons.
“You know, I’m not entirely unsurprised to get a call from C-Sec because of Grunt.” Shepard started as he and Garrus turned from the officer to face the two grumpy looking detainees sitting before them outside one of the Silversun Strip’s restaurants. “But, Jane? Seriously? You’re a Spectre.”
“You don’t say?” Jane rolled her eyes as she leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees as she looked up at them from where she sat beside Grunt.
“Okay, okay. Explain what happened.” Shepard sighed as he crossed his arms, and Garrus hid his amused smile as his girlfriend groaned.
“I don’t know.” Grunt grumbled as he looked away, “Drank a bit, left the hospital, broke a few windows.”
“ Before I sign you both out- wait, can they actually detain you if you’re a Spectre, Jane?”
“I thought about just waving my magic Spectre status around and leaving, but that just seemed like…” Jane trailed off as she searched for the proper word.
“An irresponsible abuse of power?” Shepard supplied dryly, and Jane waved her hand vaguely.
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go with that.”
“Anyway, before I sign you both out… Everyone walked away from this in one piece, right?”
“Sure, yeah, everybody’s fine.” Grunt replied quickly in a manner that left Garrus wholly unconvinced. “Hospital’s seen better days, though.” He finally admitted with a small, crooked grin and a chuckle.
“Right.” Shepard sighed before looking over at the officer holding out a datapad for him. “And how did you get roped into this, Jane? You were supposed to be doing movie night with me, Tali, and Garrus. She wanted us to all watch that one of hers that she loves so much.”
“Fleet and Flotilla?” Jane coughed before shrugging, not quite making eye contact. “Look, John… I know that’s Tali’s favorite, but it’s not really my kind of movie. So when Grunt’s buddies got a hold of me and asked for help springing him from the hospital for his birthday…”
“Wait, it’s your birthday?” Shepard asked in evident surprise as he looked at Grunt, and Jane sighed in frustration.
“For heaven’s sake, John. We’re the ones who got him out of that tank. Obviously it’s not his birthday.” Jane explained with another drawn out sigh. Shepard blinked, even more confused than before. “Anyway, the plan didn’t really work as intended.”
“Obviously.” Garrus snorted, and her glare turned to him before she and Grunt launched into the story. It went from strange to stranger, including a botched hospital escape plan, a defaced Presidium memorial, a C-Sec skycar lit on fire and then promptly stolen, and a high-speed chase that ended only when Grunt got peckish for noodles.
“Both of you, apologize to the nice man for setting his car on fire.” Shepard instructed at the end as he gestured to the nearby C-Sec officer. Grunt pouted, but eventually acquiesced.
“Fine. I’m sorry for setting your car on fire.” He muttered as he glared at the officer’s feet. Garrus bit back a smile. The sour insincerity distinctly reminded him of an apology his parents had roped out of him as a kid after he’d been caught spiking his sister’s dinner with hot sauce, a retaliation in what had been a long, underhanded prank war.
Shepard leveled the krogan with an unimpressed stare as he crossed his arms imposingly, and eventually Grunt sighed, “... and I won’t do it again.” Seemingly mollified, Shepard turned his stare to Jane, who glowered up at him.
“Don’t get your hopes up, John. I’m not a fucking child.” She ignored the petulant grumble from the krogan beside her.
“Could have fooled me.” Shepard muttered through pursed lips.
“Plus,” Jane continued, ignoring the quip, “I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Okay, so I might have taken part in the hospital break. But I didn’t climb on the memorial. And I didn’t set the car on fire. I might have gotten in the car, but I’m not the one who flew it! I was just along for the ride!”
“Jane…” Shepard sighed, but she threw her hands up in the air as she stood up.
“Don’t ‘Jane’ me. I’m done with this.” She bent down to grab her sweatshirt and tossed it over one shoulder before ducking around her brother. Her omni-tool sprang up around her wrist as she gestured to the surprised looking officer. “Here. Spectre clearance and enough funds to cover the damages.” She turned to Garrus, motioning for him to follow. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I need a drink.”
Garrus spared Shepard a chagrined smile and shrug before following after Jane. When he finally caught up with her, she seemed to have cooled down a little. He found her hand, and their fingers interlaced in a way that had once felt foreign, but now felt safe and familiar.
“God, that was embarrassing.” She muttered, frowning as she slowed her pace, leaning into him slightly.
“I don’t know what you expected.” Garrus mused as he glanced down at her. “A bunch of adolescent krogan asked you to help break their pal out of a hospital. You had to know that wasn’t going to end well.”
“Well, it sounds a whole helluva lot more interesting than watching Fleet and Flotilla.” She mimed gagging, and Garrus rolled his eyes.
“It’s not that bad.”
“I’d rather crash land beside a noodle bar while riding in a stolen, flaming C-Sec skycar with a drunk krogan, thanks.” Jane replied sardonically, her face completely straight. After a pause, her lips curled up in a crooked smile. “I knew you were a closet fan of that movie.”
“So? It has good music.” Garrus shrugged, and when she elbowed him in the soft flesh of his waist, he added softly, “And perhaps I am a bit of a romantic.” Jane smiled at that, until he grinned and tacked on, “At least, until my girlfriend abandons me on movie night to gallivant around the Presidium with a bunch of krogan like some hooligan.” Her smile vanished instantly and her eye twitched as she glared at him.
“Oh, that’s it. You know what?” She turned around and grabbed his arm, forcing him to spin and follow as she headed in a new direction. “Change of plans. You’re going down, Big Guy.” Garrus chuckled as she dragged him toward the Armax Arsenal Arena.
“Whatever you say, Sweetie.”
Some hours later found Garrus sweaty and thoroughly exhausted. He and Jane were sitting in the food court, enjoying soft drinks and snacks as they cooled down, watching a match down in the arena below.
“How does a volus like that move so damn quickly?” Garrus mused, and Jane shrugged as she popped a strange, thin, crispy looking snack into her mouth.
“My money is on suit enhancements.” She said, and he hummed his agreement. Just as he was about to respond, Jane abruptly changed the topic. “I can’t believe it’s been a week already. When we first left the Normandy in dry dock, I was positive this week was going to drag. But it was a lot of fun.”
“Yeah, it was.” Garrus said, his eyes never leaving the fighters in the arena below even though his mind began to wander. His one true regret was that he hadn’t been able to find time to put together his surprise date plan, but he supposed it could wait till the next time they were on the Citadel. Between that, the whole ordeal with the clone, and his failed attempts to find any sign of his family, and the week had been slightly less than a perfect vacation, but he supposed he couldn’t complain.
“What’s wrong?” Jane asked, and Garrus tried to smooth out his frown and quiet his subvocals.
“It’s nothing, I just…” He sighed, and she reached for his hand, giving it a tight squeeze. He finally turned to look at her, and he savored the way his chest still seized when he looked at her, even after all this time. To find such love, support, understanding, and comfort in another living being was astounding. And even sticky with sweat and grime from the arena and smelling like some of Mess Sergeant Gardner’s worst concoctions, she was still the most beautiful, sexy, and alluring creature in the galaxy. Damn if he wasn’t the luckiest man alive.
Garrus squeezed her hand before bringing it up to press against his mouth plates. As their hands fell back down to the table, he took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m just worried about my family. I haven’t heard from them since they tried to get transport off Palaven.” He took another deep breath, “I’m worried they didn’t make it.”
“If your dad is half as stubborn as you, then they made it.” Jane grinned at him, but he knew human facial expressions well enough to see how forced it was. He tried to smile back anyway. “Maybe they made it to one of those refugee facilities.” She added after a moment, “I heard they built one on Horizon, I think it’s called Sanctuary or something like that?”
“Yeah, maybe. We can hope.” Garrus knew he didn’t sound very convinced. There was something about seeing the destruction the Reapers wrought up close and personal that tarnished his ability to be optimistic lately.
But they’d had victories. They were not without hope. He had to cling to that.
“Yeah, we can hope.” Jane took a long draw of her drink. “John says we’re heading to Thessia next. Apparently the Reapers have reached asari space.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, John met with the asari councilor yesterday.” Jane glanced around them casually before leaning forward and continuing in a whisper, “She thinks that if we use some sort of artifact in one of their temples on Thessia, we might be able to figure out what the Catalyst is. But it’s all very hush hush.”
Garrus’ mind buzzed and whirred as he considered the possibilities. What sort of secret could the asari be holding that could point them in the direction of the Catalyst? The only answer was something related to the Protheans, and that had enormous implications. Holding onto Prothean technology and not sharing it with the galactic community was underhanded at best, criminal at worst. He could see why their government was trying to keep it quiet.
“Well, whatever it is, hopefully this will set us in the right direction. The sooner we end this, the better.” He muttered before tipping back the last of his drink. Jane stood and pushed back her chair.
“Come on, let’s head home. I want to enjoy one last night in that glorious, soft bed before we’re thrust back into reality.” They cleaned off their table, and as they turned to leave, Jane held out her odd, wonderful five fingered hand as she looked at him expectantly. Taking it, he met her smile with one of his own, his mandibles flaring. The luckiest man alive, indeed.
Notes:
We're getting really close, guys. Hang in there. Really appreciate your support, especially as life is a roller coaster at the moment. Getting time to write is difficult at the moment, but you all are a great inspiration to make time.Thank you so much, each and every one of you.
Chapter 72: Part 3: Chapter 18
Summary:
In which Garrus struggles with the realities of war.
Notes:
CW: Kai Leng makes some vulgar, racist remarks that reference sexual violence.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 18
Thessia
When the shuttle doors opened, the first thing that hit Garrus was the smell. The dust of the rubble and destroyed buildings, the ozone of desperate biotics, and the char of burned flesh. It attacked his nose before he had a chance to steel himself, and it churned his stomach as it scorched his nostrils as instant despair set in.
The thrumming of a Reaper’s beam reverberated in his chest cavity, making his teeth vibrate. Explosions echoed across the city, gunfire hammered on his eardrums, and screams bubbled up in every direction.
It was a sharp and sudden contrast with the levity of the past few weeks. While they’d made a stop to rescue the researcher, Ann Bryson, the brief mission hadn’t been enough to prepare them. The stark difference between the shimmer and sparkle of the Citadel and the death and destruction here on Thessia was enough to make Garrus sick. It was an abrupt return to the realities of war.
While they’d certainly been risking their lives and working hard to stop the Reapers the last few months, they had been somewhat secluded from the true face of the war during their time on Tuchanka and Rannoch. Garrus had done a good job pushing his thoughts of Palaven aside, letting it be nothing but numbers and statistics in his messages with Victus. Now, though, he was forcibly reminded of how horrific this war truly was.
Far off, a building collapsed into a shower of dust and glittering, shattered glass.
As they made their way through the ruins of Liara’s homeworld, she looked on with an open-mouthed, silent scream. She cried out as another building in the distance collapsed in a spray of debris, averting her eyes as her people were brought low. Garrus had been with the forces that had removed to Menae early on after the initial attack, and he had left with Shepard before long. Sure, he’d seen pictures of the destruction, but living aboard the Normandy created a buffer between them and the front lines. Now it was hard to pretend the war was anything other than desperate.
“Looks like we’re in the clear.” Shepard murmured as they finally approached the Temple of Athame. “Let’s get inside.” They disabled the barricade blocking the entrance and took careful steps into the large, cavernous room. Looming over them was a colossal statue of a woman that Garrus assumed to be their goddess, Athame, and scattered around the room were an array of relics, each more ancient than the last.
“Hello?” Liara called out after a minute, and Garrus registered the odd quiet, the only sound being their footsteps and the echoes of far off explosions. “Is anyone there?”
There was no response, and his plates prickled as anxiety crept up his spine and lodged itself in the back of his skull.
“I don’t like this.” Kaidan murmured as they began sweeping the room for signs of life, to no avail. “The scientists should be here.”
“Something is wrong.” Javik growled, and Garrus nodded in agreement.
“Okay, we need to take a look around. Maybe one of these artifacts is what we’re looking for.” Shepard paused as he glanced around, noticing the doors in the back leading further into the temple. “Jane, take James, Ashley, Kaidan, and EDI, and search the back rooms. The rest of you, spread out. We need to figure this out as quickly as possible.”
“Roger.” Jane replied quickly before gesturing to the other four and leading them toward one of the doors. She glanced back at Garrus momentarily and nodded to him before disappearing further into the temple.
The rest of them began searching the main chamber, examining the different artifacts and discussing in quiet voices. Garrus approached a statue, a stone bust carved in an oddly familiar likeness.
“Hey, Shepard. Take a look at this.” Garrus muttered as he gestured to the Commander. The other man hurried over, narrowing his eyes as he noticed it.
“Could this be the artifact we’re supposed to find?”
“I don’t think so.” Liara mused as she joined them, “That’s a sculpture of Lucen, one of Athame’s servants who walked among my ancestors bestowing knowledge.” Javik stepped up beside her and leveled her with a deadpan stare.
“And you don’t see the resemblance?” He asked dryly, and Liara looked at him in confusion. After a heartbeat, her eyes widened, and she looked back at the statue sharply, then back at Javik. “He was no servent of an imaginary goddess. He was Prothean.” Javik snorted as he raised a brow.
Garrus prided himself on his ability to read human and asari faces, but still he struggled with the expression that passed Liara’s face at Javik’s pronouncement.
“But that would mean-“ She cut off, her eyes tight and her mouth slightly ajar as her mind raced, the possibilities swirling as her previously held understandings shattered before her. She turned to examine another artifact, and Tali moved forward to peer at the sculpture.
“You know, I do see the resemblance.” She whispered with a small shrug, and Garrus agreed. He saw it, too.
With nearly every artifact they encountered, Javik revealed even more bombshells, each shaking Liara more than the last. By the time they paused at the foot of the gigantic statue that dominated the temple, Liara appeared nearly as disturbed as she had upon first learning what had caused the fall of the Protheans.
“What you’re implying… it’s staggering.” She whispered, and Javik turned to her with a grave grimace.
“We were here in the beginning, watching you grow.” He let her digest the statement before adding, “’Athame’ was us.” Liara stared up at the statue above them, her brows furrowed, but before she could reply, there was a soft curse from nearby. Garrus turned to see Shepard frowning down at something tucked just out of sight behind a bench. He stepped around it to see the corpses of two white clad asari.
“I’m guessing these are the scientists we were supposed to meet.” Garrus said, and Shepard nodded. The bodies had clearly been dragged there after their death, and yet the military grade encrypted barrier had been enabled until Shepard’s team had arrived minutes before. Garrus knelt down to examine them further, fear and unease jolting him as he noticed their slit throats. He looked up at Shepard, “The Reapers didn’t do this.”
“Then who…?” Liara trailed off as she turned, her eyes scanning the room. Shepard shook his head, his face grim as he took a step back. Garrus had a sinking suspicion, but he didn’t know how that could be possible. There was only one enemy that leapt to mind besides the Reapers, but they couldn’t have any idea what was hidden here, could they?
“Who’s that supposed to be?” Shepard asked suddenly as he gestured up toward the colossal statue, and Liara turned back to look up at it.
“It’s Athame.” She began, taking a half step closer. “Her image became more like ours over time.”
“You mean your ancestors tried to hide the truth.” Javik sneered as he came to stand beside her, and Liara shot him a hard look.
“I’m still not willing to believe any of that’s real.” She replied firmly, her voice soft but laced with steel.
“Then why does Athame speak Prothean?” Javik replied with sardonic amusement, and everyone turned to him in shocked confusion.
“What do you mean?” Tali asked carefully as she looked up at the statue.
“There is something here… I can sense it.” Javik breathed as he narrowed his eyes, his focus flicking from artifact to artifact. Liara launched into a long explanation of how asari religion had changed over the millennia, but Garrus’ attention was caught by Shepard as he seemed to drift toward the pedestal at the statue’s feet. The Commander’s hand slowly rose up toward it, his eyes half lidded and his face blank.
Abruptly, Shepard drew back as though burned, his eyes going wide.
“There’s a Prothean beacon here.” He declared, cutting in over Liara, who gasped.
“What? You’re sure?” She shook her head, her face caught between disbelief and fear.
“It’s not something you forget.” Shepard said as he turned back to Liara, and they launched into a heated debate regarding the asari’s decision to hide such a discovery. Garrus couldn’t say he was as surprised as Liara seemed to be, but he’d had his suspicions as soon as Jane had mentioned why they were coming to the asari homeworld in the first place.
Before they knew it, Javik was walking them through the activation process. “Incredible. The beacon seems to think you’re Prothean, Shepard. It must be the Cipher you got back on Feros years ago.” Liara gasped, but Javik, who was gesturing to the final activation point, turned and blinked at her.
“Or it could be the Prothean standing next to you.”
Garrus was honestly pretty proud of his straight face and quiet subvocals as Liara glared at Javik heatedly.
They continued their search around the temple, and when the final point was activated, the statue gave an all mighty shudder before cracking down the middle and crumbling away to reveal a massive beacon.
“By the goddess…” Liara gasped as they approached slowly on unsteady feet.
“Literally.” Garrus added, his eyes wide. It wasn’t the goddess that the asari matriarchs had been praying up toward, but a treasure trove of data left behind by the Protheans.
They were bathed in green light as a VI hologram drifted down toward them, coming to a stop just before Liara. Garrus stood back as the others dove into discussion and debate with the Prothean VI. It took a form that looked similar to Javik, and seemed to recognize him as one of its own, which was proof enough to Garrus of the VI’s authenticity. Even if not for that, its callus and flippant attitude was reminiscent of Javik’s. Maybe all Protheans had been detached, unsympathetic assholes.
Perhaps it was thanks to Javik’s presence, or perhaps it was Shepard’s Cipher, but they seemed to be making progress in convincing the VI to give them the data they needed. Garrus couldn’t think of the last time he’d needed to convince a VI to cooperate, but perhaps the Protheans had just programmed them to be ornery and persnickety.
The VI suddenly cut off its explanation just as they were starting to get answers. A bright light flooded the temple’s main room, and Garrus registered the sound of a gunship.
“Indoctrinated presence detected.” The VI morphed back into a spherical shape before retreating to the beacon. “ Activating security protocols.” They all turned toward the entrance to watch as a dark figure jumped down from the gunship.
“You.” Garrus spat as his mandibles flared, anger seeping through him as he remembered his last confrontation with Kai Leng on the Citadel.
“ You killed the scientists.” Shepard stated, the pieces falling into place. How had Cerberus beaten them here? How had they known? “What do you want?” They all raised their weapons, but held their fire as Kai Leng approached slowly.
“Your attention.” Kai Leng murmured, and instead of charging them, he pulled out a small drone which rose from his hand. A hologram of the Illusive Man materialized before them. He focused in on Shepard immediately, and while the two began debating, Kai Leng started pacing around the border of the room.
Garrus trained his rifle on the assassin, the barrel following his every movement. His attention didn’t go unnoticed, and as their eyes locked, Kai Leng’s lips turned up in a twisted smile.
“I’ve been looking forward to killing you, cuttlebone.” He said, his voice dripping with silent promises like poisoned honey.
“What a coincidence.” Garrus replied, his subvocals humming with barely contained malice. “I’ve been looking forward to putting a bullet between your eyes.” Kai Leng drew his sword, twirling it in his hand, and when he caught it again, his grip tightened on the hilt.
“Once I’m done with you all, I’ll go find your girlfriend ,” the man sneered in disgust, “and show her how Cerberus handles monster fuckers like her. I’m willing to bet all she needs is a reintroduction homegrown humans, and she’ll be singing a different tune after a nice, hard fucking.”
Garrus tasted bile in the back of his throat as Kai Leng’s smirk widened. His finger tightened on the trigger, but he stiffened as he noticed the figures lurking in the dark behind the Cerberus operative. He’d brought backup.
“Ignore him.” Tali spat angrily as she took a step closer to Garrus, her shotgun trained on the assassin. “He’s probably just jealous because no one would willingly be with a piece of shit like him.” She turned a disdainful eye on Kai Leng as his smile vanished.
“I’m finishing the Crucible!” Shepard exclaimed from across the room, cutting off the disturbing exchange as he jabbing a finger into the Illusive Man’s hologram chest, “And I’m sending the Reapers back to hell!”
“ I can’t let you do that.” The Illusive Man said with a sigh before turning suddenly and striding toward the exit. “ Leng, the Commander has something I need. Please relieve him of it.” His image began to shimmer, and the hologram vanished just as he added, “ And bring me the data.”
“Understood.” Kai Leng said as the drone returned to his hand and he placed it back in his belt pouch. In an instant, he spun his sword around and dropped down low, ready to attack. Garrus immediately opened fire, and the assassin pulled up his barrier before darting into cover.
“ John, we just ran into two Cerberus agents, and I suspect there’s more lurking.” Jane called out through the comm as the team found their own cover.
“We found what we’ve been looking for, but that bastard Kai Leng is here. We’re going to need backup.” Shepard replied tersely as he threw a biotic shockwave, toppling several benches.
“ Understood. It’s a rabbit warren back here, but we’re on our way.”
Like a flash, Shepard was off, charging after Kai Leng with vicious ferocity. The two were a blur as they exchanged blows, but Garrus did his best to keep up. He was at a distinct disadvantage against the Phantoms, their blades flashing as they darted up close to attack, but Tali’s shotgun helped keep them at a range.
Every time Garrus focused too much of his attention on the other Cerberus operatives, however, Kai Leng would shoot an unexpected blast of energy toward him. He threw himself out of the way, just missing the latest blast of energy, and frowned as he watched Kai Leng block another shot from Shepard. Was he throwing pot shots at the others, too, or did he just have a special dislike for Garrus?
Kai Leng shot another energy blast toward him, and he ducked behind an artifact display. The world blurred, stars bursting in Garrus’ vision as a statue collided with him in an explosion of pain and debris. A grinding crunch reverberated through his body as he toppled over. He hit the ground hard, rolling as he struggled to right himself, but then cried out as he tried to move his arm. His entire right side throbbed, but he could already feel a dull numbness spreading out from his elbow even as every nerve in his body screamed in pain.
“Garrus! You alright?” Shepard called out from somewhere, but Garrus’ brain began to fog as he groaned, pulling his injured arm in tight. He managed to roll over before sitting up and scooting behind an upturned bench.
“I’ve felt better!” He replied as he reached for his pistol. He already knew this was something beyond the capabilities of medigel alone. His jaw clenched as he shifted before taking aim and catching a Phantom in the neck. “But I’ll live!”
“You’d better!” Shepard quipped before darting past, wreathed in a biotic glow as he smashed into a nearby pillar. Kai Leng threw himself out of the way, bringing an arm up to protect himself from debris with a sneer.
“All of this is for nothing,” he spat as Shepard emerged from the cloud of dust, firing off his shotgun. Kai Leng’s shield caught the attack, “All you’re doing is making humanity weaker!” He raised a hand, and a blast of energy shot toward Shepard, throwing him backwards.
“And you’re using Reaper tech!” Shepard yelled as he got to his feet, cat-like as he rolled out of the way just in time to avoid a follow up. Garrus shifted his pistol in his lap, fumbling and struggling to load up a concussive round with one hand. Once he had it ready, he took aim and fired, catching Kai Leng hard in the shoulder. The assassin exclaimed in pain as he was thrown to the side, but he was on his feet again quickly, his shields still intact.
“We evolve or we die!” Kai Leng yelled as his sword flashed, and Shepard grunted as he raised an arm wreathed in biotic energy to block the attack.
“We can evolve as a species without sacrificing everything we are to the Reapers!” The two were locked in a power struggle as each tried to push the other back, the blade inching ever closer to Shepard. Garrus raised his weapon to take aim, but couldn’t get a clear shot from his angle. He started pulling himself to his feet, wincing as he jostled his arm. “Just look how far we’ve come!” Shepard grunted through gritted teeth as he began pushing the blade back.
“We shouldn’t need to debase ourselves before aliens in order to evolve.” Kai Leng replied with a snarl as his hands began glowing with unnatural energy. The blade inched closer to Shepard as he grimaced. “Commander Shepard, savior of the galaxy,” He continued, his voice dripping with mocking sarcasm as he bared down, pressing Shepard back another step, “content to stick his dick in some quarian slut. I can’t even imagine the diseases you’ve probably contracted from that thing .”
The words, so obviously designed to enrage, landed hard as Shepard’s eyes widened in anger. With a shout, he let loose a burst of biotic energy that caused Kai Leng to stumble backwards.
“Don’t you dare-“ Shepard cut off with a grunt as Kai Leng’s kick caught him hard in the side. He stumbled as the assassin whirled around, his blade flashing before sliding home with a sickening shiiiick.
“Shepard!” Garrus yelled in alarm, his eyes wide as his world froze.
The tip of the sword shone red, wet with the Commander’s blood where it protruded through his back. He gasped in pain, a hand coming up to brush the hilt of the blade against his abdomen. He cried out as Kai Leng gave the blade a viscous twist.
With a burst of strength, Shepard brought a glowing fist up to catch Kai Leng sharply under the jaw. The assassin lept backwards as he held his aching, scorched chin, and Shepard stumbled to the side, the sword still embedded in his middle as blood poured down his side. The biotic energy around him fizzled and died as one of his knees buckled and he toppled sideways.
A modulated cry echoed through the room, and Tali darted toward Shepard, catching him with one arm as she brought her pistol up with the other to fire at Kai Leng. He danced back further, avoiding her shots with a smirk that made Garrus’ blood boil.
“Leng, you bastard! ” There was the sound of armored boots charging through the cavernous room. Jane flung herself at Kai Leng, her omni-blade barred and ready. He deflected the attack with the energy from his gauntlet and quickly pulled out his own omni-blade. The two quickly became a whirl of flashing blades and fists.
Waiting for a break in the fire as the others continued holding off the remaining Cerberus operatives, Garrus stood carefully. He crouched down low and darted over to kneel beside Shepard and Tali.
“How bad is it?” He asked, quickly taking in the wound before focusing in on Shepard’s vitals through his visor.
“Not good.” Tali grunted as she struggled to position Shepard as safely as best she could. “We need to get medigel on it quickly, or else he’s going to bleed out.” She was already drenched in the Commander’s bright red blood, and Garrus nodded in acknowledgment.
There was a scream across the room, and Garrus looked up to see Jane’s incineration burning up a section of Kai Leng’s leg armor. The assassin brought up his barrier just in time to catch her follow up shots before darting into cover.
“Garrus, focus!” Tali snapped, her voice hard and bordering on frantic. He looked back down quickly and took a deep breath.
“Right, sorry. Okay, get ready. I’m going to pull it out, be ready to apply medigel as soon as it’s free.” The two worked together to stabilize Shepard as best they could, but even with the help of medigel, it didn’t look good. The moment the blade was free, blood gushed from the wound to pool around them, and even medigel was struggling to seal it. The damage caused by the twist of the blade was extreme, and they needed to get him back to the Normandy and into Chakwas’ care as soon as they could.
Shepard groaned, his face pale and clenched in pain as he shifted, his fingers reaching for the wound. They came away bloody.
“You’re going to be alright.” Tali whispered to him as she quickly applied another dose of medigel, her luminescent eyes wide with panic. “It’s not too bad, you’re going to be alright.” No one replied, the lie floating in the air, unacknowledged but undeniable. Shepard smiled, his eyes losing focus as he looked up at her with a soft smile.
“Enough!” Kai Leng yelled suddenly. “There’s only one way this ends.” He brought a hand up to activate his comm, “Target the supports.” The gunship appeared as though from nowhere a moment later, and a stab of fear shot through Garrus. For an instant, he was in a blood soaked Omega apartment, surrounded by the bodies of his dead team, staring down a different gunship.
“Everybody down!” Jane yelled as the first explosion hit. Garrus brought his good arm up to cover his face, and Tali threw herself over Shepard, protecting him from the debris as best she could. A pillar collapsed, and he could see Jane throw herself over it to avoid yet another as it began to fall. He and Tali began tugging Shepard out of the way as cracks began appeared on the floor, spider webbing out as more pillars began tumbling.
As Kai Leng confidently strode toward the console in the back of the room, Garrus reached for his sidearm. He began to take aim until he noticed a flash of red. Jane was clinging to a chunk of debris as the floor began crumbling around her.
“Cerberus thanks you for all your hard work.” Kai Leng stated with honeyed smugness as the floor gave way beneath her, and Jane plummeted downwards.
“No!” Garrus exclaimed as he lurched to his feet and took off toward the widening chasm. This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be reality. It was some sort of dream, some sort of spirits-forsaken nightmare—
He ran right past Kai Leng as he siphoned the data from the Prothean beacon, falling to his knees as he reached the gaping maw in the floor. The darkness was cut by a single figure as she struggled to maintain her failing grip on a piece of rebar jutting out from the broken floor.
“Jane!” Garrus gasped as he thrust his good arm down to grab her firmly, screaming out in pain as his injured elbow hit the floor hard. “Hold on!” He grit out, even as he felt the floor cracking beneath him.
“I’ve got you!” Liara grabbed him before reaching down to help him pull Jane upwards. Together, they got her over the lip just in time to throw themselves back before the floor could crumble further. In an instant, Jane was up and running after Kai Leng as he strode toward the gunship. She stooped to grab Garrus’ discarded pistol and fired off a few shots as she ran, but pulled up short as a cry rose behind her.
“Shepard! Hold on! No, keep your eyes open! Keelah !” Jane looked back toward where Tali leaned over Shepard, splayed out in a pool of his own blood. She looked back at the gunship and seemed to teeter, torn between giving chase and turning back.
“Goddamn it!” She screamed, firing off a few more random shots before turning and hurrying back toward her brother. Behind her, Kai Leng boarded the gunship, and it began taking off. “Joker! Get us an evac, ASAP! Liara, Javik, someone, anyone! S earch the console, get whatever data from the beacon you can find that might help us!” She skidded to a stop as she dropped to her knees beside her brother, her hands coming to apply pressure on the wound as medigel struggled to knit shredded skin.
Around them, the rest of the team continued pulling themselves from the debris, none of them close enough to the gunship to do anything as it lifted into the sky. It disappeared from view, revealing the form of another Reaper descending from the sky on the horizon.
The walls around them shuddered as the ground shook, dust falling from the ruined ceiling above them. Garrus stood shakily, taking in the panorama of death and destruction. The sun set on Thessia, leaving nothing but blood and defeat in its wake. He tore his eyes away as another building fell prey to the Reaper’s assault and turned to take stock of the team.
By some blessing, the rest of the team had survived the gunship’s assault. But if Liara’s defeated and downcast eyes were any hint as she stepped back from the beacon console, that was the only victory they were walking away with. On the floor nearby, Jane directed Tali to continue applying pressure to the wound. She tilted her brother’s chin up slightly, then plugged Shepard’s nose and covered his mouth with hers in what Garrus knew to be a human emergency lifesaving procedure.
Garrus stood there in a daze, his body throbbing, his broken arm numb and tinglilng, his head fuzzy, and it no longer seemed like he occupied his own body. The world had a dreamlike haze to it, as though none of it was real, and he prayed hopelessly that in a moment, he would wake from this nightmare in his own bunk.
Jane began administering chest compressions. Garrus forced his eyes away.
Spirits… This was desperately, horrifically real.
The following days aboard the Normandy were among the quietest that Garrus ever experienced. It was as though people were scared to raise their voices over a whisper as they went about their duties. Faces were drawn, eyes bleak as they moved through the ship. Garrus could see the concern and unvoiced worries in their expressions, and had this been a ship full of turians, he knew there would have been a low hum of fearful subvocals in the air. Fear for their commander, and fear for the future.
Defeat was not something that their crew was accustomed to, and more than one person’s shoulders seemed to sag after the ship left Thessia’s orbit. While they’d gotten Shepard to the medbay in time to save his life, Chakwas murmured that it had been very close call. He’d required hours of surgery to repair the damage, not to mention a great deal of blood and recovery time.
Jane, her mouth a grim line, took command of the Normandy in the meanwhile. The chain of command seemed to have blurred a little since the start of the war, and no one questioned her authority as she started dolling out orders.
They had no leads or direction for the next step in their mission. In the chaos following their return to the Normandy and Shepard’s close brush with death, they’d lost any chance of following Kai Leng. Jane set Traynor to searching for any clue they could find regarding where Cerberus could have taken the data, and then immediately set a course for the Citadel.
Within an hour of arriving, Garrus found himself in Bryson’s lab once more as they worked to puzzle out Leviathan’s location. Without any other leads, Jane leaned into the one project that seemed to be moving forward. He was glad that James showed up to assist, as Garrus’ arm was still in a sling and he was good for little more than brain power and moral support at the moment.
What surprised him most was Jane’s ruthless and unnerving determination to push Ann Bryson to her limits in order to get the information she wanted. She and James nearly came to blows over it. Garrus knew she was more pragmatic than her brother at times, but as he watched James angrily carting Ann away, blood trickling from her nose, he wondered if they’d gone too far this time. James seemed to think they had.
“You okay?” Garrus asked quietly as they made for the door, and Jane grunted as she trudged toward the skycar.
“As soon as John’s alright, I’ll be fine.” She muttered as she paused before the skycar and gazed upwards toward the fake Presidium sky. “Until then, we might as well track down Leviathan. It’s not like we’re any closer to figuring out what the Catalyst is anyway, thanks to Cerberus. The least I can do is track down this Reaper killer. Maybe it can help us, give us a clue or something.” She finished with a growl, her face darkening as she scowled.
“Are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we should wait until Shepard is completely healed. He’s going to be on bed rest awhile longer, and I-“ Garrus cut off as Jane turned flashing, angry eyes on him.
“I can handle this, Garrus.” There was a hint of hurt in her voice, and he shook his head as he took a step closer to her.
“I know you can. And I’ll be right behind you.” Jane shot his sling a pointed, dubious look. “Chakwas said I’ll be cleared for duty in a few more days.” He added defensively, and Jane sighed as she crossed her arms.
“I’m not chancing it, not till you’re completely healed.” A lead ball thudded heavily into Garrus’ belly at her words, and he swallowed hard.
“Don’t leave me behind. Let me come with you.” His words only seemed to stoke the flames of her ire, her eyes narrowing.
“I don’t need your protection, Garrus. I’m not some goddamn, snot-nosed recruit in need of a babysitter.” Jane spat, and he took a steadying breath as he forced himself to calm. He knew perfectly well that her current anger stemmed from something else entirely. Everyone on the Normandy seemed on edge these days, himself included.
“I know you don’t need my protection.” He stated with forced calm, “But I have a bad feeling about this mission. I don’t like any of this. Please let me stay by your side so that we can get through this together.” He entreated, their eyes locking in a battle of wills. They stared each other down for a few seconds before she finally relented.
“Fine. But only if Chakwas clears you for combat. I don’t want anything bad happening to you, too.” Garrus grinned in triumph, causing her to roll her eyes as she fought a smile. “Come on, let’s get back to the Normandy. We’re leaving as soon as we’re restocked and everyone’s back on board. We’ve got a Reaper killer to find.”
“Jane, new readings from the probe.” Cortez reported, his hands flicking through the shuttle’s holo controls as they passed through the planet’s atmosphere. “It’s narrowed down Leviathan’s location.” He paused and looked back at them before adding, “You’re not going to like it.”
“Let’s hear it.” Jane sighed as she stepped up behind him. Garrus shared an anxious look with Ashley, who tightened her grip on the bar overhead as they hit a patch of turbulence.
“There’s nothing but ocean.” Cortez murmured as he pulled up a scan of the planet’s surface. Garrus groaned as he tossed his shoulders.
“Greeeeat. Because I just love large bodies of deep water.”
“What, afraid of a little dip in the ocean, Vakarian?” Ashley quipped with a grin, and Garrus shot her a deadpan stare.
“You obviously haven’t seen turians swim. It’s a lot of flailing and splashing, interrupted by occasional bouts of drowning.” Jane suppressed a snort of laughter before returning her attention to Cortez.
“Anything else down there other than water?” She asked, but the pilot shook his head slowly.
“It shows a concentration of structures floating on the surface, but the probe’s giving us a signal below that.” He looked back at her again, his face pinched in confusion. “ Way below.”
“Under water?”
“Looks that way. The shuttle should still be able to reach it.” Cortez pointed out, but Garrus didn’t like the unsure cock of the man’s head, as though he himself was unconvinced.
“That’s possible?” Ashley marveled as she came to stand beside Jane, and Cortez nodded.
“The Kodiak is specced to nearly one thousand atmospheres… though I’ve never actually tested that.” He explained, and Garrus resisted the urge to groan again.
“Guess we’re going to find o-“
A huge pulse of energy hit the shuttle, sending them stumbling and scrambling for handholds. Main systems within the shuttle shut off immediately, leaving nothing but auxilery controls as they began losing altitude fast. By some miracle, they managed to crash land on what appeared to be the ruins of a much larger ship that protruded out of the choppy ocean waters.
Cortez quickly began attempting to restore power as Jane forced the door open, and Garrus and Ashley followed her out into the rain, their weapons drawn and ready.
If there was a poll for which planet most resembled hell, this one would be fairly highly ranked, Garrus decided. There was nothing but churning, tossing ocean in every direction, broken only by the wreckage of ships that had suffered a similar fate to theirs. The skies were a tangle of storm clouds that crashed and undulated like a twisted mirror of the waves below, and rain pelted their exposed skin like icy daggers.
Keeping a firm footing was nearly impossible thanks to the violent rocking of the waves below them and the slick, rain soaked metal underfoot. One false step would send them careening into the cold and unforgiving depths below the surface.
Before they could do more than poke at a few long abandoned crates, there was the loud thrum of an encroaching Reaper. Soon, they were in a life or death firefight with Reaper forces as they began landing aboard the derelict ship, forcing the three of them to defend the shuttle as Cortez worked quickly to get it operational again. But even with all the chaos going on around them, it wasn’t until they found the diving mech during a gap in the assault that Garrus decided things had spiraled completely out of control.
“Listen, Jane, I’m all for crazy ideas,” Garrus began as he stepped up toward the mech, “but this one’s off the charts.” He looked upwards to where Jane had already buckled herself into the pilot’s chair. She sighed, but didn’t move, and his heart hammered harder in his chest.
“I know. But we’ve come too far to stop now. The way home is through Leviathan, and we can’t die down here. If John comes after us, and you know he would, then he’d be trapped, too. And then the galaxy would be as good as dead.” Garrus wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. She was absolutely right, damn her, and he hated it. There had to be something, some other option-
“Okay, seals check out.” Cortez said as he rounded the mech, his omni-tool out. Somewhere behind him, Garrus could hear Ashley muttering darkly to herself. “Oxygen pressure is nominal. Systems are a go.” Cortez continued before hitting a button on his omni-tool and looking up toward Jane. “It’s as ready as I can make it.”
Garrus grappled with a sudden surge of anger toward Cortez for enabling Jane to go through with this insane plan. He gripped the feeling tightly and stomped it back down. Spirits, he wanted to scream.
“Let’s go.” Jane stated firmly with a quick nod, her eyes shifting to gaze out over the roiling waves. Garrus choked back his panic, and took another step closer.
“But Jane-“
“I’ll be fine.” Their eyes met, and Garrus bit back the tide of objections, concerns, and fears, and nodded instead. He drank her in, his eyes darting across her face, forcing himself to memorize every detail as fast as he could. There was a non-zero chance that this was the last time he’d ever see her. He swallowed and kept a firm grip on his subvocals as he stepped back. There was so much he wanted to say, but- “Closing hatch.”
The hatch snapped shut. Garrus forced himself to look away.
“ Engaging systems… Ready.” He looked up at the sound of her voice as it emanated from Cortez’s omni-tool.
“Testing comm link.” The pilot said, and on the screen that popped up, the tiny picture of Jane nodded.
“ I read you. ” She hit a few buttons, and the mech groaned as it shifted forward. “ Here goes .”
“For the record,” Ashley muttered, “I think this is a horrible idea.” The mech took one step, then another.
“ Noted .” Jane replied dryly as the mech neared the edge of the ship. It teetered precariously on the edge, and Garrus spared a moment to hope she was reconsidering. “ Commencing dive in 3… 2… 1…”
The mech took the final step and plummeted down into the dark, churning waves. It sank instantly, gone without leaving more than a few bubbles behind. Garrus stood there on the edge watching the bubbles until they, too, faded to nothing.
Something in him sank beneath the waves along with her.
Ashley stepped up beside him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “She’ll be okay. She always is.”
“Yeah.” He replied dully, more a grunt than anything. He wiped a dip of water from his brow plate and cursed the never ending rain.
“Her vitals are strong, no issues so far.” Cortez reported after a minute, then pulled up the comm again. “How’s the suit holding up, Jane?”
“ Lo-tsst- good so fa-tsssst-” came her reply, the quality of both the audio and video significantly worse than before. Cortez began to fiddle with the connection.
“Good. I’m getting some comm interference on this end. Hang on.” The video cut out, and Garrus’ stomach sank into his feet as cold dread seeped in. Another burst of static burst through the comm, but nothing intelligible. “Jane, can you read me? We’re losing your signal.” Cortez pushed another few commands, growling in frustration. “Something is blocking your comm. Please respond.”
No response. Nothing but static.
Garrus leaned over Cortez’s arm, “Jane! Can you hear me?” Nothing. He stepped back and spun around as he ran a hand over his crest. “Dammit!” His mind raced as he consider his options. There had to be something he could do. “Cortez, are there any other mechs?”
“None that are both properly equipped and functioning, no.” the pilot replied with a grimace, and Garrus struggled with a conflicted, guilty relief. He desperately wanted to go after Jane, but the thought of submerging beneath the choppy waves made him want to be sick. He began pacing, his feet splattering water in puddles as the rain picked up.
“Garrus, give her some time. She’ll figure this out. The interference is probably because of Leviathan, not because anything happened to her.” Ashley said after a minute, and Garrus huffed a sigh as he turned to her.
“I know. You’re right, she’s probably fine. I just-“ He cut off as he looked away, out over the violent, terrifying ocean. What if she wasn’t? “I just don’t want to lose her. Not here, not like this.” A sudden swell of anger hit him hard in the chest and he clenched his jaw.
“It’s hard when you love someone, I get it. Especially in the middle of a galactic war. But I’m glad you guys have each other to lean on through everything,” Ashley murmured as she hugged herself.
“Yeah, well, it’s hard at times like this. She could be dead right now, and there’s nothing I can do. She may never come back, and I’d never even know what happened to her.” Garrus grit out, seething with indignation and hurt. Logically, he understood why she’d thrown herself into the unknown for the sake of the mission and their very survival. And yet, being forced to sit here and wait while she risked everything with next to no intel… It was infuriating.
Ashley looked up at him, watching, weighing, before turning to look out over the water.
“My little sister’s husband died not that long ago.” She murmured, the words heavy as they fell from her lips. “They were on their honeymoon when the Reapers attacked. He got called back to duty, and she joined my mother and sisters on Earth.” She paused and looked down at the ground. “He died in the line of duty not long afterwards.”
“I’m… sorry to hear that.” Garrus muttered, his anger simmering down to a slow thrum beneath his plates.
“We held a memorial for him on the Citadel recently. We’d all been confused when they got married, since Sarah didn’t use to like military life.” Ashley looked up again, a small wistful smile on her face as she looked inwards, reveling in the memory of her family. “But she was so happy when they got married. She really loved him.”
The two of them stood there in silence, the broken and battered ship undulating beneath their feet as rain continued to fall. Garrus did his best not to shiver, but the dampness soaking down into his under suit wasn’t the only thing chilling his insides. Besides the indignation he felt at Jane’s spur-of-the-moment decision, and the anxiety that he might never see her again, he now felt an unexpected poignant reminder of how fleeting happiness could be. Why was Ashley telling him this now of all times?
“After the memorial, I asked her if she had any regrets. If she wished she hadn’t married him, only for him to die immediately.” Ashley continued after a minute, her voice quiet and pensive. “I don’t know why I asked that. It seems so stupid and insensitive now. But she just smiled at me and shook her head.” Ashley turned to look sidelong at Garrus, “She pointed out that the time they’d had together had been a blessing, and that she wouldn’t have traded it for the world.”
They stood in silence, the words rattling around in Garrus’ head before slipping home one by one. Finally, he sighed, some of the muscles in his back loosening. How many times had he almost lost Jane in the past year? He didn’t have enough fingers to keep track. Time was never a guarantee during war. Losing her would destroy him, he knew that. But if he were to lose her, would he wish he’d never loved her? Would he wish he’d never let her get so close?
He huffed a small laugh. He couldn’t imagine a world in which Garrus Vakarian didn’t love Jane Shepard with every ounce of his being.
“Yeah, I think I know what she means.” He said as he looked back at Ashley, who smiled in return.
“She may eventually go on to love someone else and remarry, but she will also love Thomas forever. I think she was happy to have had the chance to say her vows to him before he died.”
“Yeah.” Garrus murmured absently as something clicked into place, sudden resolve wrapped around him like a warm blanket. He might not know where his family was or have any idea if they’d ever be reunited, but cultural expectations be damned.
If Jane made it out of this alive, if they ever made it back to the Normandy in one piece, he was going to ask her to become his bondmate.
For a long time after the Reapers had arrived, he’d pushed the desire to the back of his mind. It hadn’t seemed like a priority as the galaxy burned around them. But if he or Jane were to die, he’d regret not having taken that step along side her. He wanted to pledge himself to her for life, he wanted her to know without a doubt that he would love her forever. Even if forever ended sooner than they would like.
Garrus turned to thank Ashley, but cut off as something collided hard with the derelict ship. He struggled to keep his balance, grabbing Ashley before she could pitch forward into the water.
A familiar guttural roar broke over the sound of the waves, and Garrus swallowed the lump of fear in his throat. They both threw themselves into cover as they drew their weapons.
“Jane had better hurry up, or else there won’t be much left of us for her to return to.” Ashley growled as the brute roared again.
“Crap. Cortez, what’s your status?”
“ I’m fine, but you’re going to need to keep them off me as I finish checking the systems.” Cortez reported from inside the now closed shuttle. “ I need to make sure this thing is good and ready to go in case Jane gets that pulse offline.”
“Understood.” Garrus replied before firing off a burst at an encroaching husk. “We’ll do the best we can.”
The minutes ticked by as they held off the ever-growing hoard of monstrosities, but every second that passed made the odds of survival slimmer. The storm only seemed to worsen as white, foaming waves crashed over the side of the derelict ship, the pockmarked metal slick and perilous.
Another fireball hit, shaking the ground again, and Garrus cursed as another brute emerged from the embers. “Dammnit.” His last reserves of hope dwindled, pooling at his feet with the rain and ocean water around him.
Garrus couldn’t help the sardonic chuckle that forced its way up. Of all the places for it to end, he hadn’t expected to die cornered and huddling on a hunk of metal and debris floating on the ocean. And of course it was right when he’d decided to take a bondmate, because that was the sort of luck he had.
“We need to fall back, or else we’re-“ Garrus cut off as something erupted out of the ocean. It landed hard, and his eyes widened as he recognized Jane’s mech. “Jane!” He called out through the comm, “Jane, do you read?”
There was no answer and his heart seized in his chest until the mech took one, then two stumbling steps forward. The cockpit snapped open, and he could breathe again as he finally laid eyes on her.
“Ja-“ He cut off his excited exclamation as she pitched forward, collapsing to the ground at the mech’s feet. It toppled backwards as she struggled to pick herself up, but Garrus could tell something was wrong. She glanced around, her eyes glazed and confused, and there was a small trickle of blood coming from her nose.
Jane’s arms gave out, and she slumped forward just as the nearest brute took notice of her. Garrus cursed under his breath as he took aim and fired, but the gigantic beast paid him no mind. It took a step toward her as Jane finally managed to push herself up onto her feet, but her legs seemed to be made of rubber as she wobbled, stumbling to the side.
Garrus willed her to snap out of whatever daze she was in as he loaded up a concussive shot. She slumped to her knees as the brute took another step toward her and roared, but she didn’t appear aware of her surroundings as she struggled to support her own weight. The concussive round caught the brute in the side of the head, but it gave itself a shake before raising its giant clawed fist into the air to attack.
Garrus stood, preparing to run to her, but the brute froze suddenly, mid strike. It was as though someone had hit pause, its entire body still and stiff. Without a moment’s hesitation, it turned and smashed its claw into its compatriot, backhanding it hard enough to send it reeling. It delivered another devastating blow, and Garrus took his chance.
Darting forward, he quickly scooped Jane into his arms before turning back toward cover. Whatever had happened down beneath the waves, the pulse that had disabled the shuttle seemed to be gone. Cortez brought the shuttle around, and the three of them were loaded within seconds. Before they knew it, they were hurdling through the planet’s atmosphere toward the safety of the Normandy.
What relief Garrus felt vanished as he turned his attention to Jane where she lay on the shuttle floor. She was unmoving, her skin pale and unnaturally grey. Her eyes were shut, her breathing shallow, labored, and uneven. He quickly pulled up her vitals on his visor and his eyes widened.
“She’s freezing!” he hissed before turning to Ashley. “Pull out the thermal blankets and-” He cut off as Jane began coughing. The movements were violent, her body curling into a ball as she seemed to convulse with each exhalation. He began rubbing her back, and when the fit finally subsided, her cheeks had more color than before. She opened her eyes and struggled to sit up, seemingly aware of her surroundings for the first time. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Jane murmured, her voice hoarse and feeble. She coughed again as he helped her up onto a seat, and he checked her vitals. Her temperature was rising slowly, the thermal coils in her suit doing their job. “Yeah.” she repeated, more firm and sure. “I’m fine. Hell of a headache, though.” She brought a hand up to brush her face, frowning when she noticed the smear of blood from her nose. She scrubbed at it before looking away.
Garrus stood, bringing himself to his full height as he looked down at her, his anger from earlier struggling to be released. He kept a firm hold on its leash. “ Never do that again.” he growled, his mandibles held close to his face. Jane looked up at him, her eyes wide in surprise. She looked so tired, battered, and beaten, and it was impossible to stay angry at her like this. He moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “Please don’t go where I can’t follow.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered as she leaned into him, and his forgiveness hummed in his subvocals. Ashley began asking about what happened with Leviathan, but Garrus barely registered anything other than it had been a success. All he wanted to focus on was how lucky he was that Jane was here with him, living, breathing, and seemingly still herself.
He gave him a moment to marvel at how close they had come to utter ruin. Between John nearly dying on Thessia, and Jane’s close call going after Leviathan, the galaxy had nearly been left with no Shepards to lead it in the war against the Reapers. Garrus shivered and thanked the spirits.
The shuttle shot through space, every moment bringing them closer to home, and Garrus remembered his earlier promise to himself. He had planning and research to do.
Notes:
Well, folks, good news and bad news. Good news is that we're so very close to the end. So very very close! The bad news is that life is kicking my butt right now, and writing is moving very slowly (though it IS still moving). I've nearly run down my buffer of completed chapters for the first time since starting this fic nearly two years ago. Please be patient and understanding that I'm doing the best I can, and hope to have it wrapped up as soon as I can. I haven't come this far to drop the ball now, damn it. Any support and encouragement you can offer is always appreciated, the going has been difficult lately. Thank you, lovely readers! And double thank you to my beta reader thelordofdarkreunion and to my friend Kalliesa for all the moral support. Wouldn't be here today without these two, and you should take a moment to check out their stories.
Chapter 73: Part 3: Chapter 19
Summary:
In which Garrus copes with a surprise.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 19
The Citadel
“Oh, man . This is the life.” Joker groaned happily as he leaned back in a plush chair in the Shepards’ apartment. “I could get used to this.” He stretched, a lazy grin spreading across his face.
“Well, don’t.” Jane tossed a decorative pillow at his face, causing the pilot to splutter.
“Hey, after everything that happened on Horizon, that whole Sanctuary ordeal, we deserve a little break.” Joker pointed out, and Jane cocked her head and shrugged as she relented.
“I won’t argue with that. What a nightmare…”
Garrus knew he wasn’t the only one in the room agreeing with that sentiment. There were things they’d seen while storming the secret Cerberus lab on Horizon that he wouldn’t be forgetting any time soon, despite his best efforts. He was trying to remain positive, but his fear that his family had ended up there made him feel more than a little sick. At least it had been shut down. If it hadn’t been for Traynor’s clever work detecting the signal and Jane’s quick thinking and leadership, they likely wouldn’t have made it in time to help Miranda shut down the facility for good. Nor would they have been able to track Kai Leng to Cerberus’ base.
“Well, we’ve got two days until we ship out.” They all looked up as Shepard walked into the living room. “Then the fleet will be ready to mobilize, and we take the fight to Cerberus.” There was a chorus of agreement and grim nods from around the room. Faces were long and pinched with anxiety as a chill seemed to grip the room.
“You know what that means, right?” Joker asked with a grin as he sat up, immune to the sudden mood shift. “Plenty of time for that party you promised!”
The room remained quiet as multiple heads turned to gauge Shepard’s response with trepidation. The Commander had been out of commission since his run in with Kai Leng on Thessia, but he was mending wel and they were hopeful that he would be cleared for combat before they confronted Cerberus. Despite that, everyone had been treating him with the utmost care, as though looking at him sideways might injure him further.
“Party, huh?” Shepard mused quietly as he crossed his arms, but then winced as he brought a hand to where his bandages lay beneath his shirt. Joker sighed as he slumped.
“No one’s going to make you throw a party.” He grumbled in defeat, but Shepard shook his head as he smiled.
“No, no. It’s a good idea. You all deserve it. You’ve all really stepped up while I’ve been healing.” His gaze swept the room, but lingered on his sister longer than most. They shared a small smile, and Jane ducked her head in acknowledgment. Glyph hurried into the room and began babbling about discretionary funds and party supplies, and conversations broke out about invitations and plans.
Garrus gave Jane’s knee a quick squeeze before leaning in to whisper in her ear, “I need to head out and take care of some errands. Are we still on for later this afternoon?”
“Yeah.” She leaned in to press a quick kiss to his mandible before leveling him with an inquisitive smile. “Am I allowed to know what this big surprise is yet?”
“You’ll see.” Garrus chuckled as he stood and made for the door. “Meet me outside the docks around noon.” Being sure to suppress the nerves and excitement in his subvocals, he made for the door.
As Garrus leaned back against the skycar outside the entrance to the docks a few hours later, he couldn’t keep his knee from vibrating. The object in his pocket felt as though it was burning against his thigh, though he knew it to be purely his anxious imagination. He’d been planning this date for weeks, ever since the whole clone debacle, and he was positive he’d thought out every little detail. But he really wanted it to go perfectly. Especially since he decided to-
His omni-tool pinged. Looking down, Garrus braced himself. It was probably Jane canceling. Something must have come up. Taking a breath, he looked at the incoming call and blinked as his breath caught. He opened the call.
“Dad?” He asked hopefully, his heart suddenly hammering in his throat.
“ Garrus. It’s good to hear your voice.” Sudden relief hit Garrus so hard that his knees almost buckled.
“Are you both alright? Where are you now? Do you need help? Money? What can I do?”
“ Whoa there. We’re alright. We finally made it to the Citadel about an hour or two ago, and we’re in line to be processed by refugee intake.” His father explained as gently as his gruff voice was able, and Garrus sighed as he relaxed.
“Thank the spirits. For a little while there, I was worried you guys had gone to Sanctuary. It’s been a while since I’d heard from you.”
“ Sorry about that. It was nearly impossible to get a stable extranet connection. I tried to send messages, but they never went through.”
“Ah, I see. Well, I happen to be on the Citadel at the moment as well. Which refugee docking bay are you in? I can try to help move the process along for you and-“
“ No, we’ll be fine. We’ll wait in line for our turn, just like everyone else who just arrived.” His dad stated firmly, and Garrus couldn’t help but smile fondly. It was just like his dad to do everything by the book.
“Okay, okay. But at least let me bring you guys some food and help you secure accommodations. Despite my best efforts, the rations given out to refugees are awful, trust me.” An idea began forming in the back of his head, and though his father replied, Garrus hardly heard as the idea bloomed into a plan. “How about I take you and Sol out for dinner tonight? Assuming you make it through refugee processing by then.”
“ Garrus, that’s really not nec-”
“I insist. You guys have undoubtedly been through the ringer these past few months. It’s the least I can do.” He put an edge of steel into his voice, and to his surprise, his father relented.
“ Fine. I’ll keep you updated on our progress. We’ll figure it all out when we’re done here.” Garrus grinned, elation causing his mandibles to quiver. He hadn’t realized how much his concern over his family had been weighing on him until that moment. And the timing couldn’t have been better.
“Great, perfect. Hopefully, I’ll hear from you soon.” They said their goodbyes and hung up, but the smile on his face remained as he leaned back against the skycar.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Garrus turned to see Jane approaching, her hands tucked in her pockets, a warm smile on her lips. He pushed back off the car and stepped toward her, offering his hand.
“Nothing, just another surprise I have for you later, I hope. Until then, I was thinking we could do something fun for a change.”
“You’ve been keeping hush hush about this little surprise for a while. What did you have in mind?” She took his hand, and he led her toward the skycar.
“Something that doesn’t involve fighting Reapers.”
“I figured,” Garrus began as the skycar pulled to a stop and the door popped open, revealing the bright light of the Presidium, “it’s time to do something stupid just for the hell of it.” Jane stepped out, wide eyed as she gazed up at the skycars passing over them. “Might be the last chance we ever get.” He murmured as he began unloading supplies from the backseat.
“Garrus, this is incredible.” Jane marveled as she stepped up close to the edge. They were parked atop one of the buildings spanning the width of the Presidium, and Garrus was happy to see the shining wonder on her face as she turned to smile at him.
“Ever have that one thing you always wanted to do before you died?” He asked as he came to stand beside her. Jane smirked as she raised an eyebrow at him.
“I’ve woken up with a turian next to me.” She purred smoothly and Garrus snorted a laugh.
“Still trying to make me blush, huh?”
“It used to be so easy.” She sighed melodramatically, her attention drifting back to the breathtaking view before them. “So, what’s your one thing?” The object in his pocket pressed into his thigh plates, making itself known, but Garrus continued on with his plan.
“The whole time I worked at C-Sec,” He began as he crossed his arms, “I’d stare up at the top of the Presidium and say to myself: I want to go up there .” He sighed as he shook his head. “But I never did. There were 137 regulations telling me I couldn’t.”
“So you got them changed?” Jane looked at him skeptically, and Garrus shrugged as he turned and walked back toward his pile of supplies.
“No. Now I just don’t give a damn.”
Jane’s laughter was a sharp, amused bark. Garrus bent down and grabbed the rifle from the pile before turning back to her.
“Now, there’s one thing that we never settled. For a while there, we were keeping track, but I think it’s finally time to settle the score.” He checked that the practice slugs were loaded properly before looking back up at her slyly. “Not saying you don’t know how to handle a gun. Just saying some of us know how to make it dance.” With that, he tossed the rifle to Jane, and she caught it deftly with a grin. “So, let’s find out who’s really the best shot.” He picked up one of the many bottles from the case he’d brought and gave it a spin in his hand.
“There’s a few people in the galaxy who’ve seen me in action, Garrus.” Jane stated casually as she adjusted her grip on the rifle and took a step closer to him, her posture full of her usual swagger. “They seemed impressed.”
“Yeah, but I’ve actually seen you drive, Jane.” Garrus paused, raising a single brow plate in challenge. “No comment.”
“Alright, Vakarian. You’re going down.” Jane stated with playful venom as she checked the rifle and adjusted the settings.
“And don’t worry,” Garrus added teasingly as he drew his arm back, “I loaded it with practice slugs for when you miss.” There was a snort of laughter from beside him, and his arm snapped forward. The bottle sailed into the air, glittering as it caught the light of the Presidium’s sky. It had just reached the pinnacle of its arch when it suddenly shattered, the glass sparkling as it fell.
The sound of the rifle’s shot was still ringing in his ears as he turned and took in Jane’s smug smile. “That was an easy one, let you build up your confidence.” He muttered with a roll of his eyes as he handed her the next bottle, exchanging it for the rifle and preparing for his turn.
The minutes ticked by as they took turns, each shot more impressive than the last. Garrus marveled at her form, her skill, the utter perfection of it all. Every line of her body as she took aim was a work of art, placed perfectly and deliberately. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. Spirits, he loved her. He could watch her shoot bottles for hours.
And before he knew it, they had been up there for nearly an hour, trading playful jibes and taunts as they shattered one bottle after the next. Jane’s smile only seemed to get wider with each shot, and he could tell he’d knocked it out of the park with this one. It had taken some thought and planning, but he’d guessed right.
He reached down into the crate and blinked in surprise. Standing, he turned to Jane. “Last one. You ready?”
“To win? As usual? Always.” Jane quipped as she raised the rifle. She paused then, an odd expression crossing her face as she seemed to consider something. Finally, her smile returned as she readied herself. “Do it.”
Garrus drew his arm back, then let it snap forward, and the bottle soared through the air as it spun. Jane fired, but instead of hearing the usual crack of shattering glass, Garrus watched in surprise as the bottle tumbled end over end down toward the water below. The unexpected thrill of victory sent a thrumming warmth through his body as he thrust his arms up into the air.
“I’m Garrus Vakarian, and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!” Garrus crowed triumphantly as he spun to grin at her. Jane must have remembered her brother’s ridiculous ads as well, because he heard a snort of laughter. He was caught off guard by the gentle smile that graced her lips as she lowered the rifle. There was a fond affection in her eyes that made his chest tighten painfully, but the curl of her lips vanished in a second to be replaced by mock annoyance.
“It’s windy up here.” Jane explained, the irritation in her voice only vaguely hiding the smile she was fighting against as she lowered the rifle. Garrus sidled up to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“There, there. It’s okay.” He leaned in to nuzzle her temple, savoring her hum of pleasure. “I know there are… other things you’re good at.”
“Yeah, yeah, enjoy it while it lasts, Big Guy.”
“Believe it or not,” Garrus pulled away and moved around her, reaching for a pack nearby, “I didn’t bring you up here merely to show you up.” He pulled the prepackaged sandwich out and checked the sticker. It was bright red, so he handed it to Jane before pulling out the one with a blue sticker for himself. Jane’s smile brightened as she checked the wrapper.
“Mmm, my favorite. You’re the best.”
“I know.” Garrus pulled out two more bottles, these filled with soft drinks, and handed one to Jane. The two of them then sat down to enjoy their meal as they watched the skycars passing by. They discussed a little of this, a little of that, but never once let the conversation drift toward the war.
As Jane finished the last bite of her sandwich, she dusted off her hands before popping her drink open and taking a swig. Putting it down, she leaned back onto her hands and looked up toward the simulated sky above them.
“Thanks for this, Garrus. I really needed it.”
“I figured we both needed to get our minds off everything.” He mused as he opened his own drink. Jane nodded, her smile lazy and contented as she closed her eyes. He shifted, and the little box in his pocket pressed against his thigh plates again. Garrus’ heart began to thump in his chest like a drum, the sound reverberating in his ears as he quickly checked the time. It was now or never.
As soon as he’d come to the decision to do this, Garrus had thrown himself into researching cultural traditions, norms, and expectations when it came to human marriage and proposals. It didn’t seem too overly complicated, all things considered. There didn’t seem to be too many major variations. But he really didn’t want to mess this up.
He swallowed the lump of anxiety in the back of his throat and leaned to the side to pull the small box out of his pocket. Slowly, he shifted so that he was facing her, and cleared his throat.
“This was really fantastic,” Jane began as she opened her eyes and sat forward again. “Thank you so m-” She froze as she noticed the box in his hand. “What is…?”
Garrus lifted the box before him and hit the little button, causing it to open and reveal the ring within. Jane’s eyes widened as understanding dawned, her eyes taking in the silvery band and the small, sparkling diamond nestled upon it.
Their eyes met again, and just like that, Garrus’ carefully crafted and memorized speech vanished from his mind like a speck of dust in the breeze. Neither of them spoke, and panic began building as a vice grip squeezed his chest.
“I, uh…” He cleared his throat, warmth creeping up his neck, “I wasn’t sure- Maybe we…” He trailed off, and after a moment, he shook his head, forcing himself to take a deep breath. This was Jane Shepard, the love of his life, and he could do this.
“Jane,” Garrus began again after a moment, his voice more confident than before, “While I can’t say it was love at first sight, it was pretty damn close. You’re the most amazing, intelligent, funny, and beautiful person I’ve ever met. I don’t think I really understood what love was before I fell for you, and not a day goes by that I don’t thank the spirits that you feel the same way about me, for whatever reason.”
Jane remained quiet as he spoke, sitting completely still as she listened raptly. Garrus swallowed, fighting his returning nerves as he continued.
“I want to spend my life with you. I don’t know how much time we have left, but if I were to die tomorrow, my biggest regret would be not having made that promise to you. I want to be your bondmate. Or husband, or partner, or whatever you want to call it. I don’t care, as long as I get to be with you.” He paused and took another deep breath. He was doing this primarily by the human tradition, or so he hoped, so he knew he was supposed to follow it up with… “Will you marry me?”
Garrus held his breath as he waited, but the silence dragged on as Jane sat before him, still as a statue, and worry began bubbling up unbidden. He racked his brain, trying to figure out if he’d forgotten some important step. Some sources claimed it was traditional to ask a woman’s family for permission before you proposed, but most said that was considered fairly antiquated, and apparently it was even insulting to some women. He had assumed Jane would fall under the latter, but was he wrong? Should he have approached John about this beforehand? Dammit, had he completely messed this up already?
“Garrus…” Jane started, and her tone caused the anticipation of disappointment to curl its fist round his heart painfully. “This isn’t something we should decide to do simply because we’re afraid of dying.” Her expression became concerned as she continued, “And don’t turians usually bond for life? The chances of us both making out of this is slim, and if something were to happen to me…”
“We’re not biologically incapable of falling in love after our bondmate dies, you know.” Garrus huffed a small, bitter laugh. “Plenty of turians find a new bondmate. Most just choose not to.”
Before Jane could respond, Garrus quickly cut in, “Look, I understand if you don’t want to marry me, but I want you to understand that this wasn’t just some last-minute decision spurred on by fear. I’ve wanted to be bonded to you since even before the Reapers arrived, back before the Bahak system. If I don’t take the chance to do it now, I might never get another opportunity. One or both of us might die, or the world could end tomorrow. But for now, I just want us to have what small slice of happiness we can.”
Finally, Jane’s expression softened, a small smile gracing her lips as she turned in her seat to face him more fully. Garrus could taste the barest hint of hope on the tip of his tongue, so he pushed just a little harder. He opened his mouth to continue, but his words died as she leaned forward, her hands coming up to cup his face gently. He leaned in to meet her, their foreheads brushing lightly.
“Okay,” Jane whispered, their warm breaths mingling, “I’ll marry you. I’ll be your bondmate.”
Elation roared in his ears as it rushed through Garrus’ body. Careful not to accidentally fling the expensive ring off into the water below, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. She laughed in surprise, her own arms coming up around him.
“Whoa there, Big Guy! There are better ways to learn whether or not you can swim!” Jane said as she pulled back slightly, eying the nearby edge.
“Sorry, I’m just happy.” Garrus breathed as he grinned. Jane glanced down at the box, and he opened it again. Carefully, he pulled the ring out, and she hesitantly offered him her hand. “I’m going to be honest, I know this is supposed to go on a specific finger, but they all look the same to me.”
That got a chortle out of her, and she took the ring from him before placing it on one of the fingers of her left hand. Settling beside him, she held her hand out before them as she inspected the ring sparkling in the bright Presidium light.
“I’m not really a good judge of jewelry, but this is really beautiful. Thank you, Garrus.” Jane leaned into him, and he put an arm around her.
“I was assured that it’s considered a normal human engagement ring.” He murmured with some small amount of anxiety. “It looks like the ones in my research, at least. It wasn’t the most expensive one they had, I don’t really have the budget for that. And some of them seemed really over the top. I figured you’d appreciate something on the less extravagant side, so I-“
Jane reached up to kiss his mandible, effectively silencing his rambling.
“It’s perfect.” She stated firmly, and he hummed happily. They sat there admiring the ring and its stone in silence for a moment or two before Jane brought it in for a closer look. “I never thought I’d receive a ring like this,” she finally whispered, and Garrus turned to give her a skeptical look. “What? Until you, love and romance hardly played a major role in my life. I never thought I was the sort who would get married.” She paused, a strained expression crossing her face. “Wait, you don’t want some sort of big party when we get married, do you?”
“No, that’s one human tradition I’m fine with skipping. For turians, bonding ceremonies are usually a slightly more sedate affair, usually just with extended family.” Garrus explained, but then paused before continuing carefully. “Speaking of which, I do have some good news.”
“Oh?”
“I heard from my dad and sister. They made it here to the Citadel safely this morning.”
“Garrus, that’s wonderful! Are they okay? Where are they now?” Jane brought her hand around to rub his back as her face brightened at the news.
“Yeah, I think they’re okay. I only just heard from my dad a little while ago, but he said they’re going through refugee processing. I’m planning to take them out for a meal when they’re done, and I was wondering if you’d…” Garrus took a breath, assaulted by another sudden bout of nerves, “if you’d like to join us, so I can introduce you.”
Jane drew back slightly, but her hand remained on his back as her eyes widened. She seemed to consider, her head tilting ever so slightly.
“The timing does seem fortuitous, doesn’t it. Are we going somewhere nice? Is this the sort of thing I’m expected to dress up for?” Something tight in Garrus’ chest began unraveling as he pulled her in close for another hug.
“Traditionally, yes, it would be something to look smart for. But they’ve probably arrived with not much more than the clothes on their backs, so I doubt they want to head out somewhere fancy.” Garrus looked down at his omni-tool and blinked as he registered the time. “Speaking of which, we should probably pack up and get going so we can freshen up beforehand.”
They began gathering up their belongings, but Garrus paused to watch as Jane loaded the rifle into the back of the skycar. He distinctly remembered the first time he’d imagined a future together with Jane, back after they’d survived the mission through the Omega 4 Relay. It felt like another lifetime ago. If, by some miracle, they defeated the Reapers, maybe they could truly make that future a reality.
His contented smile melted. It really would require a miracle, though. They were preparing to throw themselves against Cerberus in one last ditch effort to retrieve the data they needed to complete the Crucible. Victory against the Reapers hinged on the outcome of their attack, and the future of the entire galaxy depended on them.
“Come on, let’s get going.” Garrus blinked, coming back to himself as he noticed Jane holding a hand out to him. He took it, reveling in the warmth as she gave him a tug up into the skycar.
For the time being, at least, they could enjoy each other’s company a little while longer. A little calm before the storm.
As they approached the cafe, Garrus could barely contain his grin. He felt like a bouncing child with an extra spring in his step. But he couldn’t really blame himself. Jane had agreed to be his bondmate, or to ‘marry him’, or whatever they wanted to call it, and now they were on their way to see his family, whom he’d spent months worrying over. Honestly, the chances that his family had been some of those lucky enough to make it off Palaven were astronomical. It was hard to wrap his mind around the fact that he would see them again in a few minutes.
Garrus was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he almost didn’t notice when Jane stopped as he walked toward the door. “Jane?” He turned to notice her standing a ways back, her posture stiff and her face stony. In fact, if she weren’t quite so stoic a person, he’d almost say she looked green. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” Jane hesitated, her eyes darting toward the door and away again. “This is a horrible idea.” She muttered, her eyebrows knitting as she turned partially away. Garrus’ excitement and joy drained in an instant.
“What do you mean?” He asked hurriedly as he returned to her side, and after a pause she exhaled a long breath.
“Garrus, your dad is going to hate me.” Jane grunted with resignation, and as he raised a comforting hand to her shoulder, he could feel how tense she was. “I’m human, I used to be street trash, and now I’m a Spectre, none of which is going to endear me to him. I should just go and let you enjoy some time with your family without causing a big scene.”
“Do you not want to meet them?” Garrus asked quietly, dreading her response. He knew humans didn’t set quite as much store by this type of meeting as turians did, but it would be hard to fight the disappointment if she decided to leave.
“Of course I do.” Jane spun to look up at him, her eyes wide with surprise at the question. “Garrus, I’ve never had a family of my own besides John. If we get married, then that’s going to change. I don’t want them to hate me. I want--” She cut off, unable to continue, but she didn’t need to. Garrus understood. The hunger in her eyes said enough.
“It’s going to be okay.” Garrus said gently as he pulled her in close for a hug. “My sister knows about you already, and my dad knows I’m with someone who isn’t turian. He’s changed since my mother’s death, and with everything going on right now, I think he’ll just be happy that we’re all still alive.”
“Are you sure?” She asked into his chest as her arms came around him.
“No, I’m not sure. But even if he does give you trouble, you’re not going into this alone. I’ll always have your back.” They pulled away before he continued, “Anyway, my dad is strict and by-the-books, but not an asshole. He’s not going to cause a scene.” Jane seemed to relax a little at that. She took a big breath, steeled herself, and nodded.
“Okay. Let’s do this.” She said in the same tone of voice she might before charging into a pack of husks armed with nothing but a pistol.
Garrus chuckled, “That’s my girl.” Jane shoved him playfully before striding through the cafe door.
He spotted them in the back corner immediately. His father was a tall man, and between that and his pale plates, he easily stood out amongst the crowd. As they approached, however, what was left of Garrus’ excitement was subdued as he examined them.
To say they looked rough would have been an understatement. Both Solana and his father looked thin, almost gaunt, and their plates looked dull and rough. Their eyes looked sunken and exhausted, their expressions blank nearly to the point of shell-shocked. They sat silently waiting at the table, their eyes staring blankly as they slumped tiredly in their seats.
They looked like they’d been through hell and back. They probably had been.
Two sets of eyes looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps, and Garrus could see the instant they registered him.
“Garrus!” Sol cried as she pushed back from the table and struggled to stand. He noticed with surprise the brace covering part of her right leg just before she flung herself at him.
“Sol, I’m so glad you guys are okay.” He said as he caught his sister, wrapping her up in an enormous hug. Her subvocals were a mess of emotions, too many to pick out, and he pulled her in tighter. There was another screech of a chair pushing back, and Sol pulled away as Garrus turned to his father.
“Dad,” He paused, catching himself awkwardly as he almost extended it for a human style handshake. Before he could react, his father grabbed his wrist and pulled him in for a crushing hug.
“Son,” His father rasped amongst a storm of subvocals, “It’s good to see you.”
Garrus stood there in shock for a breath before he finally returned the hug, unexpected emotions welling up in his chest. He was a boy again, a lonely child reunited with his father, the father he’d feared dead, his last living parent, the man he’d spent his childhood looking up to, his dad, his-
Garrus caught his flailing subvocals, wrangling them back into a semblance of social politeness as his chest tightened painfully. They pulled away slightly, his father’s hand sliding down his arm to grip his wrist tightly just as Garrus did the same. The other man’s hand came up to rest on his shoulder as their eyes met.
“Spirits, I’m glad you guys made it out alright.” Garrus whispered harshly, and his father nodded.
“It was a close thing, but we made it.” Their eyes remained locked for a moment longer before they both nodded and released each other, stepping back. Garrus inspected them both closely again, this time noticing their tattered clothing.
“I should have let you guys rest and change first, I’m sorry. Where are you guys staying? Maybe we should just grab something to go and—” Sol cut him off as she fell back into her chair with a grunt, wincing as she brought a hand up to her injured leg.
“No way. I haven’t had a proper hot meal in weeks, months maybe, and I’m not leaving this place until I’m stuffed to the brim with real food.” Garrus grinned at her as she took a long sniff of whatever smell was drifting lazily from the kitchens.
“Point taken.” At that, he heard the soft sound of shifting feet, and winced before stepping to the side. “First though, I have someone I’d like to introduce.” Jane stepped up beside him, her face utterly blank as he gently placed a hand on her back. “This is Jane Shepard.”
His father remained still, his only sign of surprise being the slight widening of his eyes.
“It’s an honor to meet you both.” Jane stated with a formality that displayed her discomfort to anyone who knew her.
Sol couldn’t contain a gasp, “Garrus, did you…?”
Garrus nodded as he took Jane’s hand, the one with her new ring, giving it a squeeze as she turned a small smile on him.
“Yeah. I asked her to marry me.”
“And I agreed to be his bondmate.” Jane added, her voice warming. There was a squeal, and Sol pulled herself up again to throw her arms around Jane with surprising speed, given her leg. Jane was paralyzed, her face comically confused and panicked. She appeared unsure what to do with her arms, but eventually returned the unexpected hug gingerly.
Garrus’ attention, however, was almost entirely centered upon his father. The other man watched from where he stood, his face a carefully crafted mask of impassivity that immediately put Garrus on edge. Regardless of what he’d said to Jane, he did harbor some small amount of concern regarding what his father’s response to their announcement would be.
“Come on, let’s sit down! I’m starving.” Sol stated as she pulled back. She gestured to the seat besides hers, “Jane, you sit here next to me! I’ve always wanted a sister, and I was starting to think Garrus would never convince someone to settle for him.”
“Ouch. Rude.” Garrus grumbled with a smile as he reached for the seat beside his father’s. “I see how it is. Nice to see I’m so easily replaced.”
“Hush, you.” Sol dismissed him with a wave of her hand as she shifted her attention back to Jane. They all sat down, and as Sol began peppering her with an array of questions, it wasn’t lost on Garrus that their father had yet to make any comment. He simply sat listening as the women talked, his eyes watching and weighing with the same sharpness he’d used while interrogating suspects. As the minutes ticked on, the other man’s silence creeped up Garrus’ back, digging its tiny claws into sensitive spots as it burrowed in, taking root like a knife poised to strike at any moment.
Jane was right. This was a horrible idea, he never should have put her in this position, he should have-
“And so you were made the second human Spectre ever ! I remember watching the holos of your induction ceremony with Garrus a while back!” Sol said with a bright enthusiasm that disguised her earlier exhaustion. Jane turned a quick amused look at Garrus, a single arched eyebrow that made a small flash of heat creep up his neck. Her lips parted to reply, but the words were cut off as his father finally spoke up.
“Ah, yes. It was surprising.” Castis mused, looking down at the menu pulled up on his omni-tool. “Your species is still very new to the galactic stage. And with their occasional tendency to be somewhat brash and indelicate, I was surprised when they selected the initial human Spectre candidate so quickly.” Castis paused to take a sip of the water before him before lifting his eyes to examine Jane closely, “And then with how turbulent of a career their first choice had, they decided to select you for their second, even given your… colorful service history.”
Garrus sat frozen in his seat, seething anger licking at his insides as he threatened to explode. His father’s onslaught had come seemingly from nowhere, leaving the other three reeling in its wake.
“Yes, I know about you, Jane Shepard.” Castis continued after a pause. “When Garrus first told me he’d be serving under your brother aboard the Normandy, I used my contacts to learn what I could about him and his crew. Honestly, I shouldn’t be surprised that you’re who my son picked as a partner. You both seem to share a certain level of impetuousness.”
Garrus’ mandibles flicked in close against his face as he drew in a breath, preparing for battle, but Jane lifted a small hand to stop him. Her steely eyes were narrowed, locked with Castis’ as her face hardened.
“From what I remember, s ir, you don’t think very highly of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance division in general.” Her voice was cold, her anger carefully leashed as the temperature of the room dropped with each word. “And to be frank, neither do I. I’m not the Council’s biggest fan, nor am I their favorite agent. I accepted the assignment for one reason only, and that was to be given the freedom to investigate the Reapers.”
Jane paused, letting the words land before she continued quietly, “Given the current state of the galaxy, I think we can all agree there was some foresight in that.” They sat in deathly silence for a moment before she charged on heedlessly. “During my time serving as a Spectre, my biggest project was facilitating the development of the cure for the genophage. The very same cure that quickly ensured the peace between the krogan and turians that has enabled so many refugees to escape Palaven safely.
“So, if you don’t mind,” Jane’s voice dropped to a dangerous hiss as she crossed her arms, “let’s go back to the part where we humans are brash and indelicate. Because you’re not wrong. And you’re most likely alive today because of it.”
Garrus wanted to laugh. He wanted to grab Jane and hug her, he wanted to get down on his knees and propose all over again, he wanted to stand up and proclaim to the entire room that he loved this woman. But he sat frozen in his seat as he waited for the other foot to drop.
Solana watched silently, her eyes wide in horror as they flicked between Jane and Castis, her mouth slightly agape. Beside him, his father, who had listened to the entire barrage with stoney indifference, finally relented. His squared shoulders drooped a degree or two, the disquiet and disdain leeching out of him as he exhaled.
“You’re right. That was rude of me, especially right after meeting you.” His father relented finally, and in that instant, he seemed decades older than Garrus had ever seen him. “It’s been a long and difficult few months, so please forgive me.” Suddenly, he stood, offering his hand out across the table. “Can we start over?”
Jane watched him searchingly, but eventually smiled as she, too, stood and offered her hand. His father took it in a human style handshake.
“I’m Jane Shepard. It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir.”
“Castis Vakarian. It’s a pleasure to meet the woman who will become my daughter.”
Jane’s face slackened as she blinked in surprise, the unexpected words hitting her with painful force. Her smile returned in an instant, brighter than ever, and they both released each other’s hand before sitting down. Garrus watched in wonder, and his father lifted a hand to his shoulder, giving it a squeeze.
“Looks like you found a mate with a spine, which is good. She’ll be able to handle your stubborn bullshit.” His father grunted, his subvocals betraying a hint of a chuckle. Garrus remained speechless, his own subvocals conveyed his wonder and confusion, but finally managed to mutter a quiet thanks.
They all took a moment to input their orders on their omni-tools, and soon fell into easy conversation. Much of it between Jane and Sol, who seemed to take to each other immediately.
“I should have known you guys would hit it off.” Garrus muttered with pretend annoyance, though seeing them become friends was an unexpected pleasure. “Jane here is also someone’s annoying little sister.” He winced at the pain of someone kicking his shin under the table, and looked up to see two innocent faces smiling at him. When the food arrived, they were all distracted for a time as everyone, especially his sister and father, tucked in. Sol occasionally moaned in delight as she savored every bite.
“You know, Jane wasn’t wrong.” Sol began a little while later as they finished up their meal. “I really don’t think we would have made it off Palaven without help from the krogan.” Garrus nodded along as he pulled up the bill on his omni-tool in order to pay, skimming quickly through the purchases before submitting the payment. “Between them and that one man. He was so kind and helpful, and he risked his life to get us aboard that last ship. What was his name again?” Sol tapped her chin in a way so reminiscent of their mother that it made Garrus’ heart twinge. He looked back down at the total with a sad smile. Sol was so much like her that he- “Oh right. It was Sidonis.”
The world froze as a fog horn went off in Garrus’ brain. His breathing stopped, the air turning to ice in his chest, expanding until it might burst. Sol continued talking, but he was no longer hearing her, the single name repeating over and over in his head as his vision narrowed. He finally managed to grasp at a single thought as it whizzed by.
“Did you say Sidonis? ” He asked sharply as he pushed back in his chair, his fists white knuckled as they gripped the table. All eyes were on him now, and he vaguely registered the horrible mishmash of emotions playing out through his subvocals. “Lantar Sidonis?”
“Yes, that was the name of the young man who managed to get us off world. Garrus, what’s wrong?” His father asked as he lifted a hand to rest on his shoulder, but Garrus shrugged him off roughly as he stood with a harsh intake of breath.
“Garrus, breathe.” Jane’s voice was a calm, firm demand that penetrated the buzzing alarm that had overtaken over his senses. Looking up, he noticed that she’d stood as well, and was reaching for him as she gestured to the door. “Come on, let’s get some air.” She began leading him out as he forced himself to focus on his feet making contact with the floor, on the smell of the food around him, on the sounds of the utensils making contact with plates with soft clicks. “Just give him a minute, we’ll be right back.”
They stepped out of the restaurant, and Garrus quickly made his way to a nearby railing. It was as though all the emotions, all the pain, all the strife that he’d experienced since the death of his team on Omega had come slamming back into him in a single instant, the moment they’d mentioned Sidonis. He’d thought he’d healed after confronting the man and showing him mercy, but in reality, he’d simply forced himself to focus on other, more pressing things. And he had begun healing, to some extent, but he clearly had a long way to go.
“You okay?” Jane came up beside him, her eyes seeking out his with gentle understanding that did more for him than any words would. Garrus forced himself to take a deep breath. Then another. And another.
“Yeah… Yeah.” He sighed as he brought a hand up to brush over his crest. “I just- Of all the people-” He continued focusing on the sensations around him, the warmth of the synthetic light above him, the sound of the skycars passing by, the cool metal under his hands. He tried again, “I’ve worked hard to not think about him the past year. It took me by surprise.”
“Me too, honestly.” Jane nodded as her shoulder brushed against his arm lightly, a comforting pressure. “When you let him go that day, I never imagined he’d actually manage to make up for any of what he did. And it’s not my place to decide whether what he’s doing now repays the debt he has to you and your team, but…” She trailed off, leaving him to consider her words.
Sidonis had promised to make it up to him. There was no way he could have tracked down Garrus’ family in the chaos of the war on Palaven, but he’d found them anyway. Had he known they were Garrus’ family? How much had he told Sidonis about his life? He couldn’t remember, but not certainly not a lot. Was it pure coincidence that his father and sister had been among the refugees that Sidonis had evacuated?
Garrus knew that the spirits didn’t intervene in the lives of mortals, but damn if it didn’t seem like a possibility. Sidonis might be the reason his team was dead, but he was also the reason his family was alive.
Something painful and confusing began bubbling in his chest. Without warning, it overflowed, starting as a rumble in his throat and cresting into low chuckle. Before he knew it, Garrus was laughing, though his subvocals were a dissonance of tangled emotions. He couldn’t control it, the convulsions of mirth rippling through his body so hard it hurt.
None of it was funny, and yet the entire situation was hilarious. Everything had managed to come full circle in a way that didn’t feel real. In that moment, nothing felt real. As the laughter ripped through his body, the painful ball in his chest slowly began to unravel, leaving his limbs feeling rubbery and limp, as though they belonged to someone else.
He wasn’t sure how long it continued, but it eventually began petering out until all that was left was the occasional odd chuckles. Feeling and sensation seeped back into his body, and he registered Jane’s hand rubbing soft circles on his back.
“Not going crazy, are you?” She asked dryly, and he turned to see her crooked smile and the slight tilt of her head, her eyebrows drawn in just enough for her true concern to show. Garrus released his breath in a burst as he scrubbed his hand over his crest again.
“Not any more so than usual.” He mused as he tried to flash her a reassuring smile. She returned it, clearly not entirely convinced. “Really. I’m okay.”
And he was. Somehow, now that he’d calmed himself and begun to process the information, there was a weight that had lifted that he hadn’t realized had been there before. It was as though the final door had been closed on that chapter of his life, allowing him to fully turn to face what was to come. It would be a process, and he was certainly still reeling. But it was a start.
“Garrus, is everything okay? Why did you leave so suddenly?” Sol asked, crutch under one arm as she approached with a limp. Their father was close behind, a hand resting gently on his daughter’s back in silent support. Garrus turned to face them, nodding after a moment as his hand came down to rub his eyes. When his hand fell to his side, he felt more relaxed, the smile more natural.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. What you said about Sidonis blindsided me a little. He and I-“ He cut off, floundering for the correct words. “Sidonis and I have a history. He owed me, but I think…” Garrus trailed off, taking in the sight of his family, alive and whole before him. “I think he’s finally managed to pay me back.”
Garrus took a deep breath, something in his chest unwinding even further. Jane’s soft hand slipped between his fingers, giving his hand a squeeze, and he returned the gesture.
“You knew him?” Sol asked carefully, exchanging a look with their father. “It’s a small world, I guess.”
“I guess so.” Garrus chuckled, but paused as his omni-tool pinged. Looking down, he saw the message from Tali. “I hate to cut it off, but we need to get moving.” He turned to Jane, “Tali wants some help with picking up supplies for tomorrow night.” Looking back to his sister and father, he asked, “Do you guys have lodging and everything you need? Clean clothing, food, blankets?”
“I managed to get in contact with some old friends from my time with C-Sec. They’re hosting us for the time being, so we have everything we need.” His father explained, his voice calm and reassuring in a way that made Garrus feel very young, but not in a bad way.
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything else, and I’ll see what I can do. We’re going to leaving the day after tomorrow, but if you let me know, I can probably still get you in contact with someone who can help at the very least.” He took a step toward them, intending to say goodbye, but froze as his throat clenched painfully.
Was this the last time he’d see them before the Normandy left? Would this be their final goodbye? Garrus talked a lot of talk about crushing Cerberus and defeating the Reapers, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew that their chances of dying, of failing, were not zero. Would he ever see his family again?
Sol must have read his feelings, or perhaps his subvocals weren’t as neutral as he’d thought. Or maybe she had similar fears. But before Garrus knew it, she was flinging her arms around him, her crutch tossed aside as she hugged him tightly.
“Take care of yourself out there, Garrus. Whatever it is that you guys are doing with Commander Shepard, I believe in you.” She whispered into their hug, her voice and subvocals heavy with a multitude of layers. He pulled her closer, despair fighting to loose itself from his chest.
“Thanks, Sol. You guys take care of yourselves, too.” They finally parted, Jane handing the crutch back to Sol as she hobbled backwards. Garrus turned to his father, who extended a hand. They grasped each other’s wrists tightly.
“Be safe, and give ‘em hell.” His father growled before tugging him in for a tight hug. Garrus grunted in surprise, his eyes wide as he processed the emotions humming under the words. Fear, love, grief, hope, pride-
“We will.” Garrus choked out as he returned the hug, further words failing him as for just a moment he let himself be a child in his father’s arms again. Finally, they pulled apart, and his father clapped him gently on the shoulder. “What do you guys plan to do next? How long do you guys plan on staying on the Citadel?”
“Not too long, I think. I don’t like sitting around, and we want to find a way to help with the war efforts.” His father explained as he shared a look with Solana, who turned back from her quiet words with Jane and nodded. “We hear that your Admiral Hackett is recruiting anyone who can help the cause, so we’re thinking we might sign up.” He gestured to Jane, who brightened.
“I think that’s a fabulous idea. Every little bit helps. And believe me, they need it.”
“Good. Then once we’re rested, we’ll get in contact with whoever is organizing Hierarchy forces assisting the Alliance and ship out to wherever they need us.”
Garrus couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face, “I think I can help you with that.”
Notes:
I'm so sorry for the late post, everyone. I was out of town, and am coping with life at the moment. We're getting close, though. I'm so excited! Thank you everyone for your support and for reaching out. I really appreciate it, and it helps me when things get a little crazy.
Chapter 74: Part 3: Chapter 20
Summary:
In which Garrus receives a glimpse of peace at the gates of hell.
Notes:
Credit to The 8-Bit Big Band for the lyrics to Mordin's extended song down below. If you haven't heard their rendition, please check it out. It's absolutely fantastic.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 20
The Citadel
Even before they left their room, Garrus and Jane could hear the thumping of the music down below. As they reached the stairs, they could see that the party was already underway. Drinks and conversation were flowing, with a majority of their teammates and friends having already arrived.
“Guess we’re fashionably late, huh?” Jane mused, and Garrus rolled his eyes.
“Why am I not surprised that’s a thing for humans?” He chuckled as her elbow caught him in the side. He pulled her close, nuzzling her neck as she laughed. “So,” he continued, “Are we going to give everyone the good news tonight?” He took her hand in his, his thumb brushing over the ring there.
“Yeah, I think so. When the time is right.” Jane replied, threading her fingers through his. Together, they made their way downstairs to join the festivities.
When Garrus looked back at the party over the following days, he’d reflect that most of it was something of a blur. This was, he supposed, due in large parts to the copious amounts of alcohol ingested over the course of the evening.
It was a blessing to have everyone together in one place, though. Besides a good deal of the Normandy’s current ground team and some of its crew, a number of old friends arrived as well. Miranda was sufficiently recovered from her ordeal at Sanctuary, Wrex happened to be on the Citadel again, and even Jack showed up. Seeing as how she and Kaidan had secluded themselves in a back corner, each with a drink and an overly warm smile, it didn’t take much to guess at her motivation to make an appearance.
Grunt and Jacob both arrived, followed, to Garrus’ surprise, by Zaeed. He heard Kasumi’s voice at one point, so he knew she was there, but she seemed content to avoid notice beyond that. Thane and his son showed up together, seemingly content to relax on the couch and participate in conversation now and then. And Mordin-
“-studied species turian, asari, and batarian.
I’m quite good at genetics as a subset of biology,
Because I am an expert, which I know is a tautology.”
Mordin was flushed, a drink in his hand as he stood atop the coffee table in the living room, belting out an extended version of the song he’d sung eons ago at a different party. The room went quiet as he continued at break-neck speed, everyone’s eyes wide in awe.
“In four directions cardinal, I know the blot routinery,
I problem solve with tools and guns and even farm machinery.
I perfectly recall your genome purine by pyrimidine—”
Mordin paused, bringing a finger to his chin in consideration as he muttered, “Hmm, rhyme required for pyrimidine… Ah, yes!” And he continued.
“I’ll diagnose the cause of every symptom you’re exhibiting!
My knowledge is prodigious, though I’m stuffy and professsory,
I’m fluent in the vorcha tongue and hanar luminescery.
My xeno science studies range from urban to agrarian,
I am the very model of a scientist salarian!”
He threw his free hand out wide as he held the final note, and finally shut it with a snap as he cut off, looking around. There was a silent pause before the room erupted in delighted applause.
Everyone seemed to be letting loose and forgetting about rules and regulations as the night went on. Zaeed was off sniffing after Samara hopefully, James and Ashley were making out on the loft, Tali and Jack were talking about holo-tattoos, and Grunt was cooking. Even Shepard let loose and danced for a little while, much to everyone’s amusement.
As Garrus lounged on one of the couches with Jane tucked in beside him, sipping her drink, he realized that for the first time that night, almost all the partygoers were gathering in the same general location. One or two people were in the kitchen, but just about everyone else was conversing nearby in the living room, or up above in the loft.
He gave Jane a soft nudge, and as she looked up at him questioningly, he took her hand and covertly gestured to the room at large as he brushed a thumb over the ring. She smiled and nodded as she understood, but as she moved to stand, someone spoke up across the room.
“So, I wasn’t entirely sure when to do this, but now seems as good a time as ever. It’s getting late and we’re all probably not getting any more sober.” Shepard announced with a chuckle as he stood, and everyone turned to him expectantly as they waited for whatever announcement he had. He shuffled a little awkwardly, which seemed odd for the Commander, who usually shown in the public spotlight.
“This would be nerve-wracking enough in a normal situation, but the difference in species made it even more complicated, so please bear with me.” Shepard took a deep breath before visibly relaxing. He held his hand out to where Tali was sitting nearby. She stood and took it, obviously confused and hesitant with all eyes on them. Up above on the loft, onlookers leaned on the railing, and everyone down below watched with interest as Shepard took both Tali’s hands in his, smiling at her gently.
“Shepard, what-?” She began, her helmeted head tilted slightly, but Shepard began again before she could finish the question.
“There’s something about knocking on death’s door that makes you step back and evaluate what’s important in life.” He looked out over the room, taking in all the smiling faces of his closest friends and teammates. His expression wilted as he sighed, “We’re so close to the end, to either victory or defeat. We have no idea what we’re leaping into, or what we’re going to find when we get there.” His smile returned, wider than before, “But right now, right here, we have the people around us that matter most. One last night of memories before we meet the devil head on. I want to make the most of it while we have a chance.”
Shepard turned back to Tali. In the same fluid movement, he dropped to his knee before her, grasping both her hands as he looked up at her. The humans amongst the onlookers all seemed to inhale as one, eyes wide with anticipation. Garrus, too, realized what was about to happen. Jane’s grip on his hand tightened, a wide, delighted smile stretching across her face.
“Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. I’m sorry I don’t have a ring for you, but I don’t think it would work with your suit, anyway. Regardless, I want a future with you. I don’t care if it’s on Rannoch, Earth, or wherever, so long as it’s with you. I want to build you a home and start a family if we make it through this. I would be honored to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.” Shepard paused, Tali’s bright eyes widened as she understood. “Will you marry me?”
The room seemed to hold its collective breath as they all waited. Even those from cultures that varied greatly from that of the humans seemed to understand the significance of the moment.
“Oh, Shepard,” Tali choked out, her voice heavy and laden with emotion as she nodded weakly, “ Of course I’ll marry you. I…I…” Shepard rose to his feet in an instant, wrapping his arms around her enthusiastically as the room broke out into excited applause and whistles. Tali’s overwhelmed babbling turned into a shriek as Shepard spun her around, letting loose a joyous burst of laughter.
They were instantly engulfed by a swarm of well wishes and congratulations, becoming lost in a sea of bodies. Garrus turned to Jane, and they shared a moment of silent agreement. There would be another time to share their own good news. No need to steal the spotlight. There was still time yet before the end.
The music blared, accompanied by a cheer from somewhere in the crowd. Garrus stood as he noticed more than one person moving to the beat. Holding out his hand to Jane, he tossed his head in the direction of the makeshift dance floor by way of an invitation.
Grinning, she took his hand, and he savored the warmth of her as she pressed herself against him. Inhaling, he did his best to hold this image in his mind. He knew he was going to need strength in the days to come, a reminder of what he was fighting for. He needed to remember his inspiration, his reason to keep going when all else was lost, his drive to take another step when he reached his limit, when his body was broken and his mind was shattered.
His gaze met hers, and his fingers tightened around hers, pulling her closer.
It was her. It would always be her.
Garrus lay in his bunk, the suffocating silence creeping in around him. The usual sounds of sleeping crewmen were absent, despite the full bunks, a testament to the pervasive anxiety slowly rotting the ship from the inside.
With every minute, they raced closer to Earth and whatever awaited them. As he lay there, it was as though every bone in his body was vibrating, the blood in his extremities beginning to boil and itch.
He couldn’t just silently wait, and sleep was more and more an impossibility hardly worth trying for anymore. Standing up, Garrus made for the door. He didn’t even need to glance at Jane’s bunk to know she wasn’t there.
“Hey.” He said dully as he came to stand beside her on the observation deck.
“Hey.” Jane replied, leaning her shoulder into him, her gaze not leaving the heavens beyond the glass. They spent hours just standing there together in silence, watching the stars. Or perhaps it was only seconds. Time seemed to lose all meaning in the quiet moments. When Garrus looked down at her, he could see her contented smile.
“What’s got you so cheerful?” He asked, bewildered. Given everything they’d learned, given what they were racing toward, he could hardly imagine a reason to smile.
“Just replaying that wonderful, perfect moment over and over in my head.” Jane sighed happily as she shut her eyes, tipping her head back slightly as she hummed happily. Which moment did she mean? Was she referring to the party? Their date atop the Presidium? Or something else?
“Oh?” He asked, probing, and her eyes opened lazily as her smile widened.
“I’m savoring the memory of the feeling of my blade sliding home between Kai Leng’s ribs. His surprised expression as he realized what had happened, the sound of his body hitting the floor. God , it felt amazing. It was a long time coming, but damn was it satisfying.”
A bark of surprised laughter escaped Garrus, and he lifted an arm to drape across her shoulders.
“You’re beautiful when you’re basking in the blood of your enemies.”
“How very krogan of you.”
“Maybe Grunt and Wrex are rubbing off on me a little.”
Jane snorted, leaning further into him. He clutched her a little tighter. After a few minutes, he looked back down at her to see that her smile had faded to be replaced with a concerned crease between her brows.
“Can we ever be ready for a battle like this?” She whispered into the darkness, fear creeping into her voice. “Everything we’ve ever known… It’s all hanging by a thread, Garrus.”
“Yeah.” He nodded, “But the truth is, when hasn’t it? Every fight we’ve ever seen could’ve been our last. Every bullet we’ve ever dodged could have been the one .”
“There have been a lot of bullets.” She relented, the crease easing as the corner of her lip lifted in a crooked smile.
Garrus shrugged, “And this time around they’re just a little bigger.” His words were intended to comfort Jane, but he found his own shoulders relaxing slightly as well. There was a pause, and then Jane’s arm snaked up around his waist.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She whispered, and he hummed. Finally, she pulled away, stepping toward the door. “I’m going to go stop by John’s room, spend a little time with him before we arrive. Want to join me?”
“Sure. As long as he and Tali aren’t having some, er… quality time alone.” Jane’s face contorted in disgust as she glared at him.
“Ugh, let’s not talk about my brother’s sex life. But point taken.”
“ Tali is still working down in Engineering.” EDI chimed in from the room’s speakers. “The Commander is not currently entertaining any guests in his cabin. He is currently attempting to read, but I believe he would appreciate your company, Jane. He appears… despondent.”
“Thank you, EDI. Come on, Garrus.”
The halls were darkened with the Normandy’s night cycle and silent as the grave. Those that remained on duty went about their jobs like phantoms, present but only just. There was a sort of sanctified silence that all feared to break as the ship made its trip into hell.
Neither Jane nor Garrus broke the quiet as they waited for the elevator to carry them upwards. Even the whoosh of Shepard’s cabin door opening seemed muted, as though the ship itself wanted to maintain the silence.
“Tali, I…” Shepard spun from where he’d been pacing, his face brightening until he registered who they were. His expression fell comically, his disappointment obvious. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Jane crossed her arms as she leveled her brother in an unamused quirk of her eyebrow. “Gee, thanks. Feeling the love.”
Shepard chuckled as he rubbed his face. The man’s exhaustion was more pronounced than Garrus had ever seen it, which was saying something. He had dark rings under his eyes, sleep clearly a distant friend, often remembered but rarely present. He had regained his color after the incident on Thessia, having fully healed according to Dr. Chakwas, and yet it had seemed to fade again over the last day or two.
There was a pinched quality to Shepard’s face that spoke of hours spent laying awake, anxious worry plastering his eyes open like sticky tape. Garrus had no doubt the Commander had spent a good deal of time pacing the small confines of his quarters and finding very little worthwhile rest. He wasn’t surprised he was disappointed to find someone other than Tali stepping through the doors, the poor man was probably desperate to sleep and only the quarian seemed to have any success on that front.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” Shepard sighed, running a hand over his close cropped hair and smiling tiredly. “Of course I’m happy to see you both. What can I do for you?”
“Nothing, I just…” Jane took a step further into the room, but then stopped, unsure. Her crossed arms shifted, wrapping around herself in more of a hug as she looked away. A look of understanding crossed Shepard’s face.
“Ah.” He strode toward Jane and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. She melted into him, her arms unfurling around herself to come up around her brother with a sigh. “It’s going to be okay, Jane. We’re going to win this.”
“Yeah. Of course.” She grunted into his shoulder, unconvinced but continuing on with the facade. They pulled away with tight, forced smiles pasted on their faces like plastic dolls. “The Reapers don’t stand a chance.”
Slowly, their smiles faded away, disintegrating like dust on the breeze, leaving being nothing but lined faces and tired furrows between their brows. Garrus stepped forward, placing a gentle, reassuring hand on Jane’s back.
“We’ve still got a few hours before we arrive. How about a drink?” He asked, looking between the two Shepards with a flick of his mandibles. Jane flashed him a grateful smile, moving toward where she knew Shepard kept a few bottles. The Commander hesitated a moment before nodding his acquiescence.
“Fine, but not too much. We need to be on the top of our game when we hit the ground.”
“Deal.” Garrus agreed, and they both accepted a bottle from Jane before moving to the couch. The three of them fell into it like lead weights, their bodies laying limply for a moment before moving to open their drinks.
They struck up a few failed attempts at small talk before falling into a dull silence. Garrus searched his groggy, tired brain for a topic of conversation, but everything felt forced, trite, or utterly pointless. Finally, Jane leaned into her brother’s shoulder, her bottle as virtually untouched as the rest of theirs.
“How did we end up here, John?” She whispered as his arm came around to drape across her shoulders. “We were just street trash from Earth, and now we’re the final hope for the galaxy.”
Shepard chuckled, but it was a tired sound, as though he’d asked himself the same question dozens of times.
“Your guess is as good as mine.” He sighed, and Garrus could admit to himself that he’d had similar thoughts lately. It seemed impossible that he, a failed cop and vigilante, was among the team that shouldered the fate of all life in the galaxy. “And yet, here we are.”
Garrus took a swig from his drink, but it tasted like ash on his tongue. It wasn’t the first time they’d thrown themselves into hell with little expectation of surviving. First, they’d rushed off after Saren toward Ilos, then they’d passed through the Omega 4 Relay into the center of the galaxy to fight the Collectors. But this was something else entirely. The stakes had always been high, but this …
“Promise me you’re not going to do something stupid, John.” Jane’s voice was small, but laced with steel. “Promise me you’re not going to do something stupid to save people and get yourself killed. Again.” Beneath the words, Garrus could hear the pain and heartbreak that had radiated off her in the weeks following Shepard’s death aboard the SR1. Shepard sighed again.
“I can’t promise that. You know I can’t. If sacrificing myself means I can stop the Reapers and prevent any more bloodshed, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
“I know.” Jane shut her eyes, her shoulders slumping further as the steel leeched out of her. “I just don’t want to lose you again.”
“And I don’t want to lose you. Any of you.” Shepard looked at Garrus, and he nodded in acknowledgment. “But it’s not about us. It’s about stopping the Reapers.” The words seemed to reverberate through the room, the truth landing heavy on their shoulders. Jane shut her eyes, leaning into Shepard further as she took a deep breath. It was as though she were trying to fix the sensations within her memory, as though she were savoring her last moments of peace.
“I know.” She whispered, her lips barely moving.
“Plus, you’re hardly innocent when it comes to stupid, life risking stunts. You’re just luckier than I.” Shepard joked with forced levity that fell flat. “Maybe I’m the one who should be forcing unreasonable promises from you .” Jane snorted lightly, opening her eyes and sitting up just enough to punch her brother lightly in the shoulder.
Placing her drink on the low table, Jane stood and stepped toward the large fish tank, gazing into its depths as her arms came up to wrap around herself again. Garrus and Shepard both put their own drinks down, standing in unison as she took a steadying breath.
“I don’t want to say goodbye.” Jane stated firmly as she spun around to face them both. “Because we’re not going to die.”
“Good.” Garrus smiled as he approached, taking her hand in his. “And after this, we can retire somewhere warm and tropical and live off the royalties from the vids.” That got a true laugh out of both her and Shepard as he joined them.
“That sounds like a plan. I think my days of saving the galaxy are over when this is done.” Shepard mused with a shake of his head.
“I’m sure you’ll have plenty of autographs to sign,” Garrus added, laughing as Shepard’s smile turned sour.
“We just need to beat the Reapers first.” Jane sighed, her smile wilting as she looked away. Garrus brought his hands up, resting one on the shoulder of each Shepard firmly.
“James told me there’s an old saying on Earth: ‘May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you’re dead.’” They both blinked in surprise as they turned their attention on him, and he continued. “I’m not sure if turian heaven is the same as yours, but if this thing goes sideways and we all end up there… Meet me at the bar. I’m buying.”
Shepard laughed and nodded, but Jane narrowed her eyes threateningly.
“We’re a team, Garrus. There’s no Shepard without Vakarian,” She jabbed a finger into his chest hard enough to feel through his plates, “so you better remember to duck.”
“Sorry, turians don’t know how.” He stated with a shrug as he smiled. “But I’ll improvise.” Her smile returned as she rolled her eyes and Shepard laughed again.
“Smart ass.” She muttered, and Garrus grinned as he crossed his arms. Some of the tightness in his chest was loosening, making it easier to breathe as the weight on his shoulders seemed easier to bear.
Suddenly, he was yanked forward as Shepard wrapped an arm around both him and Jane, pulling them both in for a hug that was made awkward by their varying heights.
“Thanks, guys. I needed this.” Shepard murmured into the hug and Jane and Garrus both brought their arms up. “You both have been with me the longest, right from the very start.” He pulled away slightly, his smile bittersweet. “I don’t think I’d have made it this far without you guys. Thank you.”
“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.” Garrus said with a flick of his mandibles, and Jane nodded in agreement.
“Whatever happens, I’m glad I could stand by your side through this, John. Right up to the end.”
“Yeah.” Shepard murmured as he pulled her in closer, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as she shut her eyes and smiled. “Right up to the end.”
When the Normandy pulled alongside Admiral Hackett’s ship a few hours later, much of the crew showed up in uniform to greet him. Shepard and his ground team waited by the galaxy map, and even those not belonging to the Alliance stood a little straighter. Jane wore her armor instead of any uniform, being a Spectre not a soldier, and yet her posture and stance were those of any other in the Alliance.
Garrus stood at her side, listening as Hackett addressed the entirety of the massive fleet assembled for the assault on Earth. Never before had there been such a force. It consisted of ships from every race, every army, every group. Shepard had assembled the largest, most impressive fleet the galaxy had ever seen, and yet…
The enemy they faced was so hellish that it felt as though nothing could stand a chance. Were they ready? Had they done enough? Did they stand a chance? Only time would tell.
He listened along with the rest of the ground team as Shepard, Hackett, and Anderson discussed the plan to assault the beam that would take them up to the Citadel in order to open the arms. After that, they would dock the Crucible to the Citadel, and then… Something would happen. Garrus couldn’t help the apprehension that gripped his belly with cold, creeping fingers. They had to have blind faith that something would happen, that doing this would somehow end the Reapers. Everything pointed to this being their only option, their only hope, and yet…
Blind faith had never been Garrus’ best skill.
The feeling only intensified as he stood fully armored alongside Shepard and the rest in the cockpit as they approached the Sol Relay. He was more than familiar with the anxious tension that came part and parcel with the moments leading up to important missions. But this… This was something else entirely. Everything hinged on this. Everything and everyone. It all came down to this moment.
There was a lurch somewhere in his lower abdomen, and stars suddenly appeared beyond the windows as the Normandy arrived at the Sol Relay. Within moments, more ships began materializing around them, ships of all sizes and shapes. One by one, the various fleets radioed in, ready for the fight awaiting them. Soon it seemed as though there were more ships than stars in the heavens, some of them so large that the Normandy began to feel insignificant in comparison. Garrus turned to eye Shepard with a half smile. This ship and its commander were anything but insignificant.
It wasn’t long until the burning visage of Earth appeared before them. Before it, there hovered more Reapers than Garrus could ever have imagined. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He felt a pressure on his arm and looked down to see Jane gripping his wrist, her wide eyes never leaving the view before them. She was pale, ashen in the dim light.
“This is it, everyone.” Shepard murmured, his voice echoing through the comm out to the fleet amassed around them. “Be ready on my signal.”
Garrus’ entire body was poised on the precipice. His heart, previously hammering within his ribcage, froze as he waited, his breath sucked from his lungs as though in a vacuum. His plates prickled, his limbs vibrating as they begged to move, to fight, to run, to scream. But he waited, silent and ready.
This was it. This was what they had all been working toward. Garrus had been careening toward this moment ever since he’d first shook Shepard’s hand atop the Citadel Tower all those years ago. It had all led to this moment.
“Fire.”
As the shuttle broke through the atmosphere, they began getting their first glimpses of the planet’s surface as Shepard pulled up the views from the outer cameras.
“You know, when I envisioned my first trip to Earth, this wasn’t exactly how I pictured it.” Garrus murmured bleakly as he shook his head slowly. He looked around at the humans aboard the shuttle, taking in the distraught expressions and tense jaws.
“It doesn’t even look like Earth.” Ashley grit out through clenched teeth, her anger seething as they took in the views of burning rubble and desiccated greenery. Fiery debris silently floated from the sky like nightmarish snowflakes, and exploding ships twinkled in the smoky sky like heartbreaking stars.
They flew over what had once been city streets and neighborhoods, but nowhere did they see signs of life. Crushed skycars littered the roads, and no buildings stood at their original heights. The thrumming of Reaper cannons reverberated through the air, resonating in their ribcages.
Garrus looked down at Jane, who stood stiff and still as she watched the small holo. He couldn’t see it under her armor, but he could imagine the small chain that looped around her neck, the ring upon it pressed against her chest just above her heart. Mirroring it was the chain around his own neck, two small Alliance dog tags on it nestled against his own chest. Reaching down, he silently took her hand that wasn’t clutching a handhold and gave it a squeeze. She showed no sign of acknowledgment, but after a moment, she returned the pressure as she gripped his hand tightly.
“Shit.” Cortez breathed as he began flicking through holo displays. A view of a Reaper cannon appeared on his dashboard. “We have a lock. Hold on.” Everyone braced themselves as he took evasive action, and Garrus barely held on as the ship gave a violent shudder a moment later. The sound of an exploding shuttle nearby crashed over his senses, and he felt the familiar sinking sensation that not all was going to plan. It never seemed to.
Shepard stepped forward into the cockpit to discuss a course of action with Cortez in hurried voices before turning back to the rest of the anxious team. “Change of plans.” He announced firmly, his shoulders squared, but the lines near his eyes pinched. “We’re gonna take out that Hades Cannon so Hammer can land.”
“On foot?” Garrus asked skeptically, “That’ll be a challenge.” Shepard’s brows knit as he opened his mouth to reply, but Cortez cut in.
“That downed shuttle would’ve been carrying the heavy weapons.” Shepard’s expression brightened even as his eyes steeled with determination.
“Perfect. You heard the man. Once we’re clear, make your way to the crashed shuttle.” Shepard’s eyes scanned the team as they nodded in understanding. “We’ll search the wreckage for heavy weapons.” With that, he drew his shotgun, and everyone followed suit.
“Right behind you, Shepard.” Kaidan stated firmly, others chiming in over the sound of weapons being adjusted and checked.
The door opened the moment they landed, the pings of gunfire hitting the shuttle’s shields greeting their ears.
“Now! Go! Go!” Shepard shouted as he darted out of the shuttle and into nearby cover. The pounding of feet followed as they all hurried after him.
“ Damn. I can’t stay here, sir.” Cortez said over the comm as the door shut behind them. The shuttle continued taking fire, the shield weakening.
“Get clear.” Shepard instructed before lifting a hand to send a biotic shockwave toward the oncoming hoard. “Come get us once we’ve taken that turret out.”
“And stay low!” Jane added as she looked up from her scope, eying the Reaper in the distance as it fired its cannon again. “Stay out of their line of fire. We don’t need you going the same way as the other shuttle!”
“ Roger that. Cortez out.” With that, the shuttle lifted off, skirting just above the ground as it rounded a nearby corner.
“All right, everyone. Let’s move!”
It was hours later when they finally arrived at Hammer team’s Forward Operating Base. Or maybe it was minutes later, though it felt more like years. Garrus’ body ached and blood spotted more than one set of armor as he looked around the shuttle. He knew they had a long fight ahead of them, and he prayed they’d have enough time to rest before the next push. But at least they’d gotten the cannons down and let Hammer team land. They’d managed somehow, like usual, and they would continue to do so one way or another. Just like old times.
The door to their shuttle slid open as Cortez touched down, revealing a tired but smiling admiral waiting for them.
“Anderson!” Two voices cried out as Jane stepped out of the shuttle with a surprising burst of energy, her brother right behind her. She wrapped her arms around Anderson, and he chuckled as he returned the gesture.
“Jane, it’s good to see you again.” She released him, and he stepped back as just in time to be grabbed up in another hug. “You, too, John.”
The three humans began talking in hushed, warm tones as the team began unloading from the shuttle. Garrus gave Jane’s shoulder a quick squeeze as he passed, and she flashed him a smile before returning her focus to Anderson. Garrus turned to make his way through the camp.
It was dark as he stepped outside, the sun having set long since, and dark billowing clouds swept across the night sky like the spirits of the angry dead. Occasional gusts blew in, smoldering embers whipping about the camp in a hellish tempest. It caught piles of debris and refuse, flinging pieces of paper and trash into the air, causing them to dance over the ground before finding rest elsewhere.
Everywhere were personnel from Hammer team in various stages of preparation. They moved with purpose, their jobs clear and their goal united. He could see the cracks, though, the terror threatening to overflow from soldiers barely keeping it together. Every time a Reaper cannon thrummed in the distance, jaws and fists clenched and faces pinched. Everyone knew how close they stood to oblivion, everyone knew what waited for them beyond.
And they waited. No soldier was a stranger to waiting, and all around him Garrus saw the faces of people waiting to be told it was time to face death or worse. People who had been fighting against hellish Reaper forces long enough to know what lay beyond the safety of the surrounding walls.
But even so, the camp was a strange and inspiring sight, all the different groups huddling together as they waited for the next push. Krogan, turians, salarians, asari, humans, geth, quarians, and everything in between, all working together for a single cause: the destruction of the Reapers. As it had been above in the skies over Earth, so it was below down here on the ground. Everyone coming together for the sake of the galaxy. It truly was inspiring.
Garrus watched as members of Shepard’s team dispersed, joining various groups to talk, help, or prepare. Even if he hadn’t been able to see turians streaming in and out the nearby building, he could have picked it out as their makeshift headquarters from the discordant mishmash of anxious subvocals from a mile away. He began heading in that direction, but stopped short as he noticed a man standing nearby, talking with a group of Alliance marines.
There was something off about James, he noted. Usually, he had a fluid confidence, not unlike a tiger, ready to strike despite the languid stance. Now, however, there was a tightness to his posture, a stiffness that bespoke tension and anxiety.
“Vega.” Garrus called out as he approached, noting as James nearly jumped at the unexpected greeting. “You okay?”
“Oh. Uh, yeah.” He could see the same tension in James’ face that he saw in all the surrounding soldiers, the same tension he felt in himself. “I don’t know what I thought I’d feel, coming back to Earth.” The man paused, his eyes drifting to the shattered buildings around them and the ominous glow catching the clouds from the fires below. “I…” James trailed off, finally shaking his head as he looked away.
“I know what you mean. I remember being back on Menae, looking up at the giant fire that was the city I was born in. I don’t think there’s anything left of it now.” Garrus murmured, letting his thoughts drift back to Palaven for the first time in a while. James watched him for a moment, then nodded. He extended a hand out to Garrus as he stood a little taller.
“So, I guess this is it, no?”
“A little early to be saying goodbye, don’t you think?” Garrus grunted as he eyed the extended hand before him. James shrugged, but the hand remained between them.
“Maybe. But I don’t think I’m the only one who feels like… like this is it . One more push… One last fight.” James stated, his face blank but his voice sedate in a way utterly unlike the macho braggart he’d exchanged wild stories with way back when on the Normandy. “Time to give it our all, or die trying.” After a moment, Garrus took his hand and gave it a firm shake.
“It’s been a pleasure serving with you, James.”
“You as well, Garrus.”
“What, no ‘Scars’?” He asked playfully as he released the other man’s hand and stepped back. James shrugged as he averted his eyes back to the clouds above.
“Yeah, sorry.” James grunted vaguely before sighing. With that, he nodded farewell and turned his attention back to the other marines. Garrus watched them for another moment before turning to leave.
James was right, it turned out. As he made his way through the camp, more than one of their ground team approached him with some form of goodbye. It caused the ominous, icy feeling in his stomach to grow with each encounter.
“Vakarian. I was wondering when you’d show up.” Garrus looked up as he entered the heart of the ruined building that the turians had been congregating in. Primarch Victus stood in one corner, a knot of soldiers arrayed around him as they discussed plans for the coming push.
“Primarch.” Garrus nodded his greeting, a wave of relief hitting him hard in the chest. Here he could find something to do, a way to be helpful. A much needed relief from the pit of anxiety slowly threatening to engulf him. There were no heartfelt goodbyes here, only work and usefulness. In the past, he’d bemoaned the emotional detachment of turians, personally identifying more with the passion of humans. But at the moment, emotional detachment held its comforts, and he could see why so many of his kind relied on it.
Immediately, he dove right into the work. It amazed him how quickly he fell into a roll of leadership, quickly taking the delegation from Victus without complaint. Soldiers took his orders without question, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the current situation that made them so quick to obey, or if he himself had finally achieved the air of command that he’d admired in Shepard all these years.
The minutes ticked by quicker than he’d expected, and the work served as a welcome distraction from the feelings building in his chest. “I want you to coordinate with the Alliance.” Garrus said as he turned to a turian waiting patiently, eagerly awaiting orders. “Make sure we iron out these logistical problems.”
“Yes, sir.” He replied quickly, but movement near the door caught Garrus’ eye, and whatever the soldier said next was lost as he registered the person entering the room.
“Jane.” Garrus breathed as his attention detached from the world around him, focusing in on the single person approaching him. The other turian backed away as Jane approached, as though he knew that nothing else mattered but her. As their eyes locked, her gazed seemed to burn him alive, the intensity in them nearly too much to bear. “So, I guess this is it…”
He trailed off. He’d said goodbye to nearly every teammate so far, but this… Her . Garrus didn’t know how to say goodbye to her .
“Just like old times?” Jane asked with a half cocked grin, strained and forced as she crossed her arms in an approximation of her usual bravado. Garrus met her pained smirk with one of his own.
“Huh. Might be the last chance we get to say that.” He mused, finally losing the battle as he looked down at his feet, breaking the hold she’d had on him since she’d entered the room. He felt the soft brush of her fingers on his face as she brought his chin up, forcing him to look back up at her.
“I told you, I’m not going to say goodbye. We’re not dying here. Not today.” She leaned forward to brush her forehead against his gently, remaining close enough that he could feel her breath against his mouth plates as she continued. “That’s not why I’m here. I had a thought.”
“Oh?” He brought a hand up to rest upon her back as her hands came to rest on the front of his cowl, pulling him close.
“Marry me.” She whispered hoarsely, the words quick as though she’d fought to force them out in a fit of nerves. Garrus blinked, his mouth popping open, but no words escaped as he tried to understand the request.
“I, er… already proposed, if you’ll remember. You know, the Presidium, the bottle shooting. I’m pretty sure you were there, Jane.” He chuckled, unsure if this was something to joke about, or if he was possibly missing something important.
“No, I mean now. Marry me. Right here, right now.” The words came out in a rush as she pulled him impossibly closer.
“Can we even do that? Aren’t there, you know, rules and requirements and things like that?” Garrus pointed out, but Jane gave a quick toss of her shoulders.
“We’ll find someone who’s been ordained, or whatever is needed. I don’t care.” Jane said hurriedly as she gestured out behind her at the camp beyond. Something seemed to occur to her, her eyes going wide as she leaned back on to the heels of her feet.
“What is it?” Garrus asked hesitantly as she turned to look toward the shattered doorway she’d entered through.
“Anderson. He’s an admiral.”
“I had noticed, yes.” Garrus snorted, causing Jane to roll her eyes as she looked back at him.
“In the Alliance, admirals are permitted to serve as judges in certain circumstances. Judges are allowed to officiate a marriage.” A smile stretched across her face, her eyes brightening as she gave him a gentle tug. “Let’s go ask if Anderson can marry us.”
Garrus hesitated for a moment, the unfamiliar buzz of Jane’s near-frantic aura setting him off balance. There was a brightness in her eyes he wasn’t used to, but he recognized it as the same quality he’d seen in the face of everyone he’d said goodbye to that day. There was something about standing on the precipice of darkness, the void of the unknown awaiting your final step. It made you see your life from a new perspective. It made you evaluate what you held dear, what you’d done with your life, and what could be waiting for you over the horizon, if only-
If only you could survive.
Despite Jane’s earlier promises that they would live through this mission, underneath her outward show of confidence, there remained the same fear that everyone else in this camp held. The same fear he himself harbored at his core. The fear if that if they didn’t get to do this now, they would never get the chance after today.
“Okay.” Garrus’ mandibles flared as he smiled, grasping her hand firmly. “Let’s do it.”
Jane’s face lit up like a supernova and she took off toward the door, dragging him behind. He let her pull him through the door and together they quickly navigated the pile of debris that was surviving as a makeshift stairway down to street level. Gravel and chunks of concrete shifted as they stumbled, laughing quietly and grabbing hold of each other as they finally reached the ground.
They were off again, Jane tugging him along in the right direction, and Garrus couldn’t help the smile on his face even amidst the weight of the terrified atmosphere around them. He couldn’t see any of it, not the long faces, not the destruction, not the glows of the fires. All he could see was the beautiful woman who wanted to spend her life with him, however long that would be.
“Anderson!” Jane called out as they entered a burned out building that currently housed the camp’s QEC. The human admiral stepped back from his conversation with the man operating the device, his expression morphing into one of confusion as he registered them both hurrying into the room.
“How can I help you both?” Anderson asked with a quirked brow as his gaze jumped between them. Jane shot Garrus a quick smile, which he returned, their hands still firmly clasped.
“As an Alliance admiral, are you able to marry us?” Anderson drew back, his eyes displaying his surprise as his mouth dropped open. Whatever he had been expecting, it hadn’t been this.
“No… I don’t believe so. I-“ He began, but Jane turned with a frustrated hiss before he could continue.
“Shit. Then who…?” She trailed off as she turned, her brow drawn in concentration as her mind raced. Without warning, she dropped Garrus’ hand and ran to the door. “John! Get in here!”
Shepard, who had been in deep conversation with Ashley nearby, lifted his head to look their way with a questioning tilt of his head. Jane waved him in, and after motioning for Ashley to wait, Shepard made his way into the room.
“What’s up, Jane?”
“You’re the captain of our ship, are you able to marry us?” Jane asked sharply as she jabbed a finger in his chest. The myriad of confused emotions that flashed across Shepard’s face as he processed the question was nearly comical.
“I… what?” The cogs in his brain continued spinning as his eyes widened and he looked between Garrus and Jane in amazement. “You guys are getting married?” Shepard’s voice jumped both in pitch and volume as understanding dawned, his excitement blooming across his face.
“Yes,” Jane’s hand flicked through the air as though to swipe that one minor fact aside, “if you’re able to officiate it.” Shepard’s cheer dimmed as he considered.
“Jane, even if I understood all the laws and requirements surrounding marriages, which I don’t, Alliance officers are forbidden from conducting them as a matter of policy unless they hold other qualifications. You should know that.” He sighed as he shrugged in defeat. “Plus, we’re not even aboard the Normandy.”
Jane’s shoulders slumped, her hand coming up to rest above her chest where Garrus knew the ring rested. He brought his hand up to rest on her arm and gave it a quick squeeze. He was about to offer her what comfort he could, that perhaps now just wasn’t the right moment, or that they would have another chance at some point, but he was interrupted by a quiet clearing of someone’s throat.
Garrus, Jane, Shepard, and Anderson all spun to look at the QEC operator who stood awkwardly nearby.
“If you’re looking to get married, I might be able to help.”
“What? How?” Jane asked, the intensity back in her voice as she turned to face him fully. He seemed to hesitate as he took in all the eyes watching him intently. After swallowing his nerves, he explained.
“Well, technically I’m an Alliance notary public in addition to my other responsibilities. I don’t know about the British laws here in London, but I can officiate a ceremony following laws and regulations under the Systems Alliance charter. That should cover your bases.” He trailed off as he glanced about the destroyed room. “I can file the necessary paperwork, though I don’t know how legally binding it will be at the moment. I don’t think there’s anyone manning the legal office that receives and approves marriage certificates at the moment.”
“That’s fine! That’s good enough.” Jane grinned as she looked back at Garrus with a smile so bright and relieved that his stomach fluttered and seized.
“Hold up. Is it really that simple? I thought there was more to getting married than that. Aren’t there complicated laws and requirements or something?” Shepard mused as he brought a hand up to stroke his chin. Jane raised an eyebrow at him in amusement.
“John, those sappy romance novels you don’t want anyone to know you adore?” She began as she crossed her arms, leaning back on one leg as she grinned, “They’re absolutely ancient. It doesn’t work like that anymore.” An embarrassed pink flushed across Shepard’s cheeks, but he didn’t have time to retort before Jane had turned her attention to Garrus as she extended her hand out to him. “You ready?”
“To spend the rest of eternity with the love of my life?” He took her hand, holding it firmly as he gazed into her bright eyes and attempted not to lose himself. “Always.”
“We’re going to need two witnesses.” The QEC operator stated as he pulled up his omni-tool and began flicking through the interface. “Commander, Admiral, would you both be willing to stand witness?”
“To the marriage of my best friend and my baby sister?” Shepard grinned as he brought his hands up, resting one upon Garrus’ shoulder, and one upon Jane’s. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“It would be my honor.” Anderson smiled gently as he removed his hat, folding his hands before him respectfully.
“Okay then. If I can have you two come stand over here on either side-“ The operator began gesturing around the small space, “And then you two-“ He waved his hand to Jane and Garrus, pointing to a spot on the floor, “stand here. Did you want to say your own vows, or just the simple call and repeat?”
“Uhh…” Garrus turned to Jane, who stood just beside him as they positioned themselves before the operator. Despite his research on human proposals, he knew nothing about their wedding customs.
“We’ll come up with something,” Jane stated confidently. “It’s just like a promise we make to each other. I’m sure you can come up with something, it doesn’t really make a difference to me. Anything will do.”
“If you’re sure.” He chuckled, and the operator began explaining how the small service would work. They held each other’s hands as they stood before him, listening, but Garrus felt like he hardly processed any of the directions. It didn’t matter whose customs they were following, he was about to be bonded to Jane Shepard, the love of his life, the most astounding, amazing, beautiful woman in the entire galaxy. He could hardly believe his luck. He knew he was grinning from mandible to mandible, and he couldn’t help himself.
Around them, the world was ending. But here, in this small, half destroyed room, he had everything he needed.
Their eyes locked, and it was like no one else existed in the galaxy besides them. She wore her battered, bloody armor, but she might as well have been wearing the most beautiful of human dresses for all it mattered. They were exhausted, faced with insurmountable odds, and yet in this instant, he felt a wave of energized contentment wash over him.
“Garrus.” He looked up as the operator said his name, and realized it had begun. “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to comfort, to honor and to keep, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live?”
This was it. This was really happening. “I do.” Garrus stated solemnly as he turned back to Jane, and she gripped his hand tighter. Just over Jane’s shoulder, he could see Shepard’s watery smile.
“And, Jane.” She looked up at her name, listening intently as the operator repeated the same question to her.
“I do.” She stated with firm conviction.
“And now, you may exchange your vows.” The operator looked to Garrus first, and he felt a moment of panic. But when he opened his mouth, the words seemed to come of their own accord.
“Jane, I swear to you that no matter what, I will have your back. Both on and off the battlefield, no matter where life leads us. Here, against the Reapers, and later when we’re relaxing somewhere warm and tropical. Whatever happens, we’re a team, and we’ll face it together.” He paused, leaning forward as he took her other hand as well, clutching them both like a lifeline. “And I know this is probably not how this works, but I have an order for you.” He leaned in closer, his words a harsh whisper, “Come back alive. It’d be an awfully empty galaxy without you.”
Jane’s breath hitched in her chest as she inhaled sharply, their gaze never breaking. They stood there in silence for a moment until she swallowed and began.
“I never thought I’d have a partner like you. My equal, my match, my other half. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but I don’t know what I’d do without you. I promise that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve you.” With that, she leaned forward, their foreheads pressing against each other’s. “And if, after today, I’m up there in that bar and you’re not— I’ll be looking down.” Her voice was thick, heavy with emotion as she struggled to continue. “You’ll never be alone.”
Garrus shut his eyes as he nuzzled against her, his throat suddenly too tight for words.
“Never.” He finally murmured as his heart ached, the bittersweetness of this final goodbye crushing what was left of his poise and self control. His subvocals hummed in the silence, broken and mournful as he clung to Jane, his single mooring point as the storm washed over him.
“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss.” The words seemed to echo in the small room as Jane leaned forward, pressing her lips to Garrus’ mouth plates in a slow, soft kiss.
“Don’t you dare go where I can’t follow.” Garrus breathed as they broke apart, but Jane’s only response was a gentle squeeze of his hands.
Somewhere, the thrum of a Reaper cannon broke the silence, and in the distance another building crashed to the ground in a fiery explosion of dust and debris. Their little bubble of peace held as they clung to each other desperately. But outside, time ticked onward, and with it came the end they all knew was rushing ever closer on silent wings.
Notes:
This is it, everyone. The next chapter is the finale. The end. The big one. I'm so excited to share it with you all. There will be an Epilogue afterwards that will hopefully tie up the loose ends. Thank you, everyone, for your patience and your support through all of this!
Chapter 75: Part 3: Chapter 21
Summary:
In which Garrus witnesses the end.
Notes:
Content warning: This chapter deals with major character injury, though I did my best to keep it less graphic. Just be prepared for some blood.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Chapter 21
Earth
"This war has brought us pain, and suffering, and loss.”
The room resounded with a silence that pressed in from all sides. The ground team was assembled shoulder to shoulder as they awaited Shepard’s final words of encouragement like the words of a prophet.
“But it’s also brought us together— as soldiers, allies, friends.”
Garrus stood between Liara and Jane, their presence radiating waves of warmth and comfort in the cold, stale air of the ruined city around them. Ashley raised a hand to clasp Jane’s shoulder, and Javik nodded in agreement. Kaidan turned to flash a smile at Tali, who bounced on the balls of her feet once or twice. EDI smiled warmly, and James crossed his arms with a sharp nod.
“This bond that ties us together is something the Reapers will never understand.”
Shepard paced before them, his face soft but his words firm as he spoke with deep conviction.
“It’s more powerful than any weapon,” He looked up, his eyes flashing with an invigorating energy, “stronger than any ship. It can’t be taken or destroyed.”
He finally stopped pacing and came to stand before them, his expression hardening.
“The next few hours will decide the fate of everyone in the galaxy.”
Shepard took one step toward them, then another, a thundercloud of emotion gathering behind his eyes.
“Every mother. Every son. Every unborn child.”
He turned toward a nearby window and gazed out over the destruction.
“They’re trusting you… depending on you to win them their future. A future free from the threat of the Reapers.”
He turned to look back at them, his face set in the lines of hopeful determination.
“But take heart. Look around you. You’re not in this fight alone. We face our enemy together, and together we will defeat them.”
Shepard raised his fist, punching it firmly into his open palm. The ground team all broke into cheers as they thrust fists in the air and jostled each other good-naturedly.
“Come on, everyone. Let’s head down and meet up with the rest of our battalion.” Shepard said as he strode toward the door, and everyone followed suit. There was a lightness in their steps, a confidence that hadn’t been there before. It was always that way with Shepard. He was a born leader, always inspiring those under him to greater heights.
“You ready?” Jane murmured as her shoulder brushed against Garrus’ arm. He nodded, his mandibles flicking as he flashed her a tight smile. “This is it. No turning back. We fight or we die.”
The no-man’s-land that stretched out before them was a terrifying sight. Large swaths of empty, desolate land were broken up by occasional ruins of destroyed buildings, all crawling with Reaper forces.
Beyond that lay the beam. Their goal, their salvation. And before it stood the imposing form of a Reaper, its cannon exposed and ready to protect the beam at all costs.
Garrus adjusted his rifle, and followed after Shepard as they wove their way around a number of waiting M35 Makos. Shifting his grip, Garrus reached a hand up to pat a tire fondly. It’d been some time since he’d been up close and personal with a Mako, and it brought back flashes of memories from his months aboard the SR1.
Anderson gave the go ahead over the comm, and slowly the Makos began to roll forward. Shepard turned and nodded to his team, and they followed after. Garrus took a deep breath, steeling himself.
They could do this. They had to do this. There was no other option.
They pressed forward. Invigorating cheers from ground troops went up, but were short-lived as they were met with resistance. The sound gunfire cut through the night, sharp cracks to break the silence.
Each of the Reaper’s awful, hellish creations came to meet them as they pressed forward. Husks clambered over debris, leaping at them with speeds that should have been impossible for their rotten bodies. Marauders and cannibals laid down cover fire, taking out Hammer’s ground troops with disturbing efficiency. Brutes targeted the Makos and missile bearing tanks, smashing through their plating with unreal strength and ferocity. The haunting, terrifying screams of the banshees preceded their presence, sending chills down Garrus’ spine as he focused his efforts on them.
The fighting continued to pick up in ferocity as they pressed forward. Shepard’s team became a scalpel, used with ruthless efficiency. They fought their way through buildings, quickly taking out groups of Reaper forces that had entrenched themselves, allowing Hammer to pass further into heavily contested areas.
Sometimes they pushed forward beyond the Makos and tanks, clearing out ground forces and plotting out routes for the larger vehicles to follow. More than once, they had to double back to find paths wide and flat enough for the vehicles, but step by step, they progressed forward toward their goal.
But with each step, their numbers dwindled. Makos were crushed or destroyed by brutes or with heavy weaponry, and soldiers fell as enemies overran their teams. Garrus prayed that by the time they reached the beam, they would still have enough standing to have a chance of reaching it.
Shepard’s team split into smaller groups as needed to handle the myriad of issues that arose as Hammer pushed forward. As he scrambled down the lip of a crater in the middle of a city block, Garrus hoped everyone was alright. It had been some time since he’d seen Tali or a few of the others. He swallowed a lump of anxiety. It’d been a while since he’d seen Jane, too. She’d taken a team and dashed into a nearby building to take out a group of marauders some time ago.
“ The Destroyer’s spotted us.” A marine reported over the comm, his voice layered with forced calm and barely contained fear. “ We’re prepping the Thanix missiles.”
“ Hold your fire. ” One of the majors called out, “ You won’t do anything but piss it off.”
“ Roger that, but we may have no choice.”
“Understood.”
Garrus raised his rifle and took aim, catching a cannibal between its many eyes. Behind him, someone screamed in pain.
“Kaidan!” He spun to see the other man clutching his leg as he stumbled to the ground. Under his hand, Garrus could scorched armor and flowing blood. He lowered his rifle and ran back to assist, pulling up his omni-tool with medigel at the ready. “Shit, this looks bad.”
“Yeah, thanks-“ Kaidan hissed as he shifted, more blood gushing over the cracked plates of his hard suit. “I hadn’t noticed.” He continued dryly, finally sighing as the medigel began its work. After a moment, the blood seemed to slow, but as he helped Kaidan to his feet, he hissed in pain again as he tried to put weight on the injured leg. “Just leave me. You keep going.”
Garrus looked down at the injury, then back over his shoulder at the beam as it reached up into the heavens above. He wavered for a moment, then nodded.
“Cortez, we need an evac. Sending you the coordinates now.”
“ Roger that, on my way.” The pilot responded quickly, and Garrus helped Kaidan limp toward a pile of debris that looked like a reasonably safe cover spot.
“Stay safe until the shuttle gets here.” Garrus grunted as he lowered the other man down to the ground.
“Thanks, Garrus. Good luck.”
“ Destroyer just took out half our company.” Another marine reported morosely as Garrus turned back toward the beam and began clambering up the side of the crater, “ Firing remaining missiles.”
“Any effect?” Asked the same major from earlier. There was a pause before the marine replied.
“ Negative.”
“Shit.” Garrus hissed as he hurried onward toward the sound of gunfire ahead. He could see a burst of biotic energy, and he prayed it was one of Shepard’s shockwaves.
“ Can’t get a lock,” the marine continued, “s omething’s messing with our guidance.”
“ We’re almost there. Hold on.” The major said, his voice equal parts commanding and pleading.
Garrus crested a ridge and released a breath in relief as the forms of Shepard and EDI came into view. He pulled up his rifle and fired off a few rounds into a sprinting husk.
“Garrus! Good to see you. Any news from the others?” Shepard exclaimed as he thrust his arm forward, sending a wave of biotic energy that caught up another husk, flinging it backwards.
“Kaidan is injured, just called in an evac for him. I haven’t seen any of the others in a while.”
“Yeah, I heard your request for an evac. Cortez has Liara as well, and I believe Tali, Ashley, and Javik are just west of us.”
“Any sign of Jane and James?” Garrus asked hesitantly, his body tensing as Shepard shook his head.
“I got a burst of garbled static from her about 15 minutes ago, but nothing since. I think something is blocking their comm.”
“ I have received occasional blips from their suit’s systems, and they are on the move. I do not believe either are injured at the moment.” EDI chimed in reassuringly, and Garrus nodded in thanks as various groups began radioing in. It was disturbing to hear how many companies hadn’t reported in yet.
“Come on, we’re getting closer. Let’s keep moving.” Shepard turned toward the beam, its light catching the clouds of dust around it, causing the sky to glow an eerie blue. Garrus and EDI followed after.
“ How are we supposed to take that thing out?” Someone asked wearily, the comm connection weak and crackling. Somewhere ahead, there was a series of explosions as the Destroyer’s cannon blared. Shepard turned and sprinted down an alley, picking up speed as urgency continued to build.
“ Look out! Brutes! ” EDI screamed just as a nearby wall exploded, pulverized concrete flying through the air as two monstrous beasts smashed into the alleyway before them. Shepard, EDI, and Garrus all backpedaled as fast as they could, bringing their weapons up.
“Get back!” A familiar voice called out suddenly, “And cover your eyes!” The three of them turned to run, both Shepard and Garrus bringing their arms up to cover their eyes. Even through his lids, Garrus registered the sudden burst of light of Jane’s flash grenade. There were two bestial screams of pain. When he looked up again, Garrus saw Jane and James leap down from the low roof on one side of the alley.
“About time!” Shepard stated as they all opened fire on the brutes, sending fetid blood spraying into the air as the beasts stumbled backwards.
“Don’t blame me, my comm can’t seem to keep a stable connection. There’s some sort of intermittent interference.”
“You’re not the only one. They’re having issues getting a lock on the Destroyer. We need to get down there and assist as quickly as possible.”
The last brute fell, and they all charged forward and around the corner.
“ They’re coming in behind us!” a marine radioed in, her voice tight and anxious.
“ They’re coming from everywhere!” another cried out urgently. “ They’re going for the tanks!”
“Shit.” James’ muttered curse echoed Garrus’ exactly as they all pushed their bodies a little harder. A nearby explosion shook the air, debris flying as they all dove for cover. Garrus groaned as he rolled his shoulder, shaking off the dust and the painful fog of impact. It wasn’t the first he’d endured that day, and he was positive it wouldn’t be his last. Already, weariness was setting in, pure adrenaline carrying him onwards.
He pulled himself to his feet and raised his rifle. If they didn’t press on, they would all die. The galaxy would all die. He had to keep moving.
“ Protect the tanks at all costs!” the major exclaimed, his voice beginning to break up as the connection weakened. “Without those missiles, we’ve got no chance!”
When they finally reached the missiles-laden tanks, a stab of fear shook Garrus as he registered their utter lack of protection. Not a single soldier from that company remained standing, and it was a miracle the missiles hadn’t yet been targeted.
EDI began the process of syncing them up with the Normandy’s guidance systems to bypass the interference as they fought off wave after wave of Reaper forces. They weren’t strangers to battles of life or death, and Shepard’s team was a well-oiled machine.
Muscle memory and desperation fueled them as they took out the deformed, putrid creatures that assaulted the tanks from all sides. When they were finally able to fire the first two missiles, they swerved at the last second, missing the Reaper guarding the beam by a large margin.
Garrus’ heart sank and his body screamed as he watched them explode harmlessly some distance from their target. Somehow, they were going to have to wait until the Destroyer moved far enough from the beam for them to try again with the next set of missiles, and if those missed, too… well…
He wasn’t going to think about it. He couldn’t let himself.
Their second attempt, what felt like an eternity later, was more fruitful. It was with a relieved sigh, bordering on a sob, that Garrus watched the Destroyer finally collapse hard to the ground with an angry screech. A series of explosions wracked its body, and finally its only movements were twitches like the death throes of some enormous bug.
He moved through reality like a dream. His entire body seemed to float as he watched Anderson’s tank approach, navigating slowly around the piles of concrete and the bodies of the dead. They had been on the move and fighting for hours at that point, and getting to sit and rest after piling into one of the tanks felt like a dream.
It didn’t last long, though. As soon as Anderson announced that Harbinger and other Reapers were moving to defend the beam, Garrus felt a tightening in his chest. It felt like the end. They had been talking about this being it for a while now, ever since they began their trip toward Earth. And yet, it had all boiled down to this, their final push. If they could get someone through that beam and up onto the Citadel, they actually stood a chance at finishing this, once and for all.
They rode on in silence, no one daring to break the peace as the tank lumbered over the difficult terrain. As Garrus looked from person to person, they all seemed to radiate exhaustion. Even EDI seemed weary, though he couldn’t put his finger on how.
As for himself, it felt as though standing again would be an impossibility when they reached their destination. Looking up toward the low ceiling of the tank, Garrus imagined he could see the Crucible, miles above the Earth as it approached the Citadel. Were his dad and Sol up there, somewhere? With Hackett’s fleets as they protected the Crucible? Were they even still alive?
With a jolt, he realized that Shepard and Anderson were talking.
“We knew this was going to be a gamble at best.” Anderson grunted as he leaned his forearms forward onto his knees, the concerned lines on his face seeming to deepen with each word. Shepard stood, holding on tightly as he looked from person to person with a soft smile, the first smile Garrus had seen from anyone in what felt like years.
“I’m so proud of you all. I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather face this with.”
A warmth spread through Garrus’ body like basking in a ray of sunshine that had parted the stormy clouds of a cold winter day. He bathed in it as a shred of hope lodged itself deep in his heart. They all stood, reaching for handholds as they looked to Shepard, the source of their inspiration, their leader, their friend.
“I think I speak for everyone,” Jane began, her voice gaining in assurance and strength as she continued, “when I say that it has been our honor to serve under you, Commander.” With that, she stood straighter as she brought her free hand up in a salute. Both James and EDI followed suit, and Garrus raised his head in a sign of respect as well.
Something about Shepard’s smile shifted, his eyes gaining a melancholic glint as he surveyed them all with a nod. “The honor has been mine.”
Anderson lifted a hand to rest on his shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze before looking down at his omni-tool.
“Alright, everyone. This is it.” The words were barely out of the admiral’s mouth when the tank came to a sudden, screeching halt, an explosion nearly tipping it as they all struggled to keep their balance.
Garrus pitched forward as he tried to retain his handhold. Jane’s arm came up, steadying him as he caught himself. The door popped open nearby, and he looked up to see Shepard and Anderson hurrying through it and out onto the battlefield.
“Shit.” Anderson hissed as Garrus and the others followed. A series of curses emanated from the mouths around him, and though they were in a number of languages, none of them seemed to properly capture the horror that squeezed Garrus’ lungs in a vice grip as he swallowed.
About 100 yards before them loomed the beam, disappearing up into the heavens above. Nothing but open desolation stood between it and them, and yet behind it stood the gut wrenchingly familiar form of a Soverign-class Reaper. The ground shook as it took a step closer, its attention focusing in on their convoy.
“We gotta move!” Anderson yelled as he brought his pistol up to the ready. Shepard nodded and gestured to the rest of them.
“Come on!” He yelled before pulling out his shotgun and taking off toward the beam without a second thought. Jane sprinted off after him, and Garrus felt his feet begin to move of their own accord.
“This is insanity!” He growled as he took off running, James and EDI close on his tail.
“Hammer squads, go, go, go!” Anderson yelled as the pounding of feet began to grow louder. Battle cries went up on all sides as every single survivor threw themselves toward the beam, their only salvation. As Garrus chanced glances over either shoulder, hope rose in him as he registered just how many were charging with him. Surely, someone would make it. Someone, anyone. There only needed to be one.
Garrus’ feet moved faster, his body lighter as he pushed onward. He had just about caught up with Shepard and Jane when the Reaper opened fire.
The first beam cut through the earth, tearing up chunks of dirt and gravel just feet away from Shepard, causing him to stumble and catch himself. The sizzling heat of it burned Garrus’ face, leaving a bright after image behind his lids.
More cannon bursts, more explosions. Men and women screamed as they were flung into the air, their broken bodies hitting the ground with a deafening finality. Others died instantly as the beams caught them headlong, their remains nothing more than ash in the wind.
A nearby Mako became little more than a chunk of twisted metal and burning bodies, and Garrus’ fledgling hope cracked, crumbling into shards and dust. His feet continued onwards as he began to struggle, but pure stubbornness carried him onwards as he kept his focus on the two humans before them.
In no universe would Shepard and Jane face whatever awaited them on the Citadel without Garrus Vakarian at their side. Not if he had any say in the matter.
Jane dodged just in time as a beam smashed into the ground before her. Garrus’ heart seized for a moment as she stumbled, but she caught herself and kept running. He saw a number of soldiers pushing faster, pulling ahead of them as they raced for the beam, stretched out in a wide arch around him. They can’t stop us all. One of us will get through.
The Reaper’s cannon echoed in Garrus’ ears, his senses beginning to tunnel, his sole focus becoming the beam and the two humans just before him. They could do this, they were almost there, just a little bit furth-
The cannon caught the ground just before a nearby Mako as it sped forward, causing it to vault into the air. It twisted like a breeching whale, growing ever larger as it began its descent.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion as Garrus’ eyes widened. A train wreck he could only watch in horror as he struggled to come to a stop in time.
“Garrus!”
The world erupted in pain, but as the welcoming embrace of darkness sucked him under, he registered a single bone curdling scream.
Garrus was being crushed under the weight of the entire world. He gripped fruitlessly at the fuzzy, comforting darkness as it began to fade only to be replaced with overwhelming pain. He heard the grunts of people straining, and slowly the pressure began to ease, and his senses started returning quickly. And with them, the horrid awareness of reality.
His eyes snapped open, and he registered the unexpected sky. It had been night, but there weren’t any clouds or stars above him. With sudden realization, he recognized it as the topside of a Mako. Groaning, he shifted as recognized the sounds of people nearby as they worked to move the vehicle. Lifting a hand up, he froze. It was entirely coated in blood. But it wasn’t his blue.
It was a bright, vivid red.
Panic began building as he twisted around, his eyes adjusting slowly as a nearby shape came into view. A scream bubbled up in his throat, but refused to leave his mouth.
“Jane…” The name finally escaped him in a groan as he took in her bloodied and battered face. She was drenched in blood, splatters of both red and blue, and she was utterly unresponsive. She had one arm draped over him as though to shield him, but he was unable to see the rest of her from where he lay.
“No-“ Garrus choked out, his mouth dry as his heart began pounding out a dirge through his veins. “No, no, no, no…” He reached out hesitantly to touch her face, worried that if he did, she might shatter. As his finger stroked her cheek, it left behind a bloody red streak. Bile rose in his throat.
There was another heave, and the pressure lessened even more.
“Help!” He cried out, his voice breaking as he looked up, a flurry of panic gripping him as he reached his arm up to push fruitlessly on the Mako above him. “Someone, help! Hurry!”
“Garrus!” Shepard called out from somewhere nearby. “Are you okay? We’ll get you out, don’t worry!”
There was another heave, and the weight of the Mako was finally gone. Garrus’ body shuddered in relief, but it went unnoticed as he shoved himself up and let his eyes fall upon Jane. He opened his mouth to call for help again, but his words had evaporated along with the thoughts in his head as shock set in. It was like watching their future together evaporate before his eyes, dreams that had been within the palm of his hand melting like they’d never been.
While a majority of Jane’s injuries appeared superficial, his attention was drawn inextricably to her right arm. There was very little left to suggest it had ever been an arm, even the hard suit was cracked unrecognizable. Every moment Jane became paler, the growing pool of blood around her making his breath hitch as his heart pounded in his ears.
“Garrus!” Shepard called out, snapping him out of his horrified stupor. “Can you climb out? We can’t hold this much longer!”
As carefully as he could, Garrus shifted and wrapped an arm around Jane, inching them both out from under the Mako. He wanted to move her as little as possible, he had no idea how extensive her injuries were. Or if she was even still-
He cut himself off. Jane was alive, and she would be okay. He couldn’t live in a world where that wasn’t true.
“I got her.” James said as hands appeared and began hauling her out, her head lolling limply. Garrus scrambled out after her, his leg screaming as he put weight on it, old injuries coming back to haunt him.
“Oh, god!” Shepard exclaimed, and a moment later, the Mako crashed to the ground, and the commander fell to his knees beside his sister. His hands reached down reverently, stopping just shy of her bloodied, porcelain pale skin. He drew back sharply as he activated his comm and looked away. “Cortez! Do you copy? I need an evac. Right now!”
“I’ve got a lock on your coordinates. On my way, Commander!” The pilot replied immediately, his connection full of static.
Garrus struggled to his feet, but fell to his knees as he inched toward where Jane lay like a marionette with her strings cut. James knelt on her other side as he struggled to apply medigel, but his face was streaked with his own blood, his eyes glazed with an obvious concussion. EDI limped over, falling to her knees as her hip joint sparked ominously. The entirety of her right side was scratched up with more than one gash exposing the inner workings beneath her body’s outer layer.
Outwardly, Garrus was aware of the battle raging on around him. The Reaper’s cannon continued to blare, explosions rang out, and soldiers screamed as they died. The beam sat silently before them, so close and yet so far as not a single soul seemed capable of approaching. But he registered none of it as he stared in numb disbelief at the woman laying broken before him.
This couldn’t be happening. They’d been so close, victory had been within their grasp. All they’d needed to do was to clasp their hands around it.
A groan bubbled up in the back of Jane’s throat, and Garrus lurched closer as she shifted, pain etched across her face.
“Jane! Hold on, just hold on.”
The air around them roared as the shuttle arrived, its door already open. It touched down, and Kaidan hobbled toward them, cursing as he laid eyes on Jane. He helped pull Garrus to his feet, and all together they carefully lifted Jane.
“Come on.” Shepard murmured as they worked together to get her aboard.
“By the goddess!” Liara hissed as she joined them, her uninjured hand coming up to cover her gasp. They gently set Jane down and Liara set to work with Kaidan as they struggled to stem the bleeding.
“Here.” Shepard gestured to a nearby seat, but Garrus turned to him with a glare.
“Shepard, I’m not leaving you.”
“You have to get out of here.” Shepard stated firmly as he took a step toward the door, the beam looming behind him.
“And you’ve gotta be kidding me.” Garrus growled even as his leg threatened to give way under him. Shepard took another step backwards, his eyes narrowing with a glint of steel.
“Don’t argue, Garrus.”
“John!” They both turned in shock to look at where Jane lay, her eyes still shut but her good arm groping as though searching for her brother of its own accord.
“We’re in this to the end.” Garrus tried to insist as he looked back at Shepard, though he sounded more as though he were begging. He winced as he took a step and gripped a nearby handhold. Shepard’s expression softened, though the steel remained in his eyes.
“Take care of Jane, make sure she lives. She needs you right now.” They both looked back at Jane as she called out for her brother again, her voice cracking as she reached with what little strength she had left.
“Shepard…” Garrus wilted as he watched Liara root through the first aid box. She pulled out a vial and fumbled with the cap before jabbing Jane with the needle.
“And please,” Shepard continued as Garrus looked back at him, “find Tali. Tell her… Tell her that I love her.”
“I… I will.”
Shepard smiled sadly as he started walking backwards. His eyes flicked to Jane’s prone body before turning and running off toward the beam alone. The ground exploded nearby, causing him to dodge to the side, but he took off at full speed as the shuttle began to lift off the ground. Garrus got one last look at the beam and the Reaper looming just behind it before the door closed.
As Garrus turned back to face the bloody nightmare on the floor before him, he felt the shuttle picking up speed. He registered the mourning sub vocals reverberating in the small space, and after a moment he acknowledged them as his own.
Somehow, deep down in his gut, Garrus knew that was probably the last time he’d ever see Commander John Shepard.
“Garrus!” Liara snapped, and he came back to himself in an instant. “Get over here and apply pressure. We need to stop the bleeding.” As he hurried over, he saw that Liara had wrapped Jane’s torso and arm tightly in towels as she beckoned to him. He knelt beside her and placed his hands where she instructed, fighting the encroaching hopelessness as he registered the amount of blood. How much blood was in a human body? Surely not much more.
“Spirits, Jane…” He murmured as he began applying pressure as best he could, and Liara nodded her approval as she shifted and returned her focus to searching the first aid kit.
“Cortez, get us to the Normandy as quickly as you can! She needs to see Dr. Chakwas as soon as possible!” Liara called out as she checked the labels of various bottles before settling on one. The shuttle continued picking up speed as it began its accent.
“Liara, is she-” Garrus cut off and swallowed before he continued, “Is she going to make it?” His voice was small, hesitant. He wasn’t sure he wanted an answer.
“I don’t know, Garrus. She’s survived some bad injuries before, but this …” Liara trailed off, returning her focus to loading up a syringe. Garrus jerked as a firm hand gripped his shoulder, and he turned to see James kneeling beside him.
“She’s strong. Strongest pain in the ass I’ve ever met. She’ll be okay.” His words were solid and steadfast, and for a moment, Garrus let himself soak up the other man’s confidence, finding comfort in his optimism.
He could hear Cortez and EDI coordinating with Joker as they made their approach toward the Normandy, but everyone went silent as a single transmission made it through on the comm.
“ God… they’re all gone.” Someone whispered hoarsely, causing all hands to go still.
“No…” Liara gasped, her eyes going wide as she slowly let her hand with the the syringe fall. She, Garrus, Kaidan, and James all exchanged horrified looks. “It can’t be…” Kaidan pulled up his comm urgently.
“Did we get anyone to the beam?” He asked hurriedly, his panic barely contained.
“Negative. Our entire force was decimated.” The words seemed to echo through Garrus’ brain as he struggled to accept them. He couldn’t process it. The complete and utter, monumental failure, and what it meant for the galaxy. For his people, his family, for him. For Jane. For Shepard.
Oh, spirits. Shepard.
“ It’s too much.” The soldier continued, “ We need to regroup. Fall back to the buildings.”
“Hammer’s been wiped out. All forces… retreat.” Someone else commanded. They were all thinking the same thing. We couldn’t do it. We’ve failed.
Garrus clenched his eyes shut.
I’ve failed.
His life had been nothing but one failure after another. Failed cop, failed vigilante, failed “Reaper specialist”. Had anything he’d ever done really made any difference in the end? And the list went on. Failed son. Failed friend. Failed mate. His love lay before him, drawing in what might be her last breaths while his best friend probably lay dead or dying down below. He didn’t even know where his family was or if they were still alive.
He felt his fist clench. Spirits , why couldn’t it have been him instead? He didn’t deserve to be the one still living.
“ Pull back! Pull back!” a terrified soldier screamed over the comm somewhere on the battlefield below. As their shuttle shot off to safety, down there in the dirt and in the dust, their hope died.
Garrus’ eyes shot open as he felt a jerk, and he realized they’d stopped moving. The door snapped open, and there were two soldiers waiting with a stretcher. Without a word, they stepped aboard and began the process of carefully transferring Jane. She was muttering again, tossing restlessly.
Garrus reached out and clasped her good hand quickly, giving it a squeeze as he leaned down to her ear.
“It’s going to be all right. Everything will be all right.” He whispered as soothingly as he could, watching with small satisfaction as she seemed to relax. The soldiers asked him to step back, and they began rushing Jane off toward the waiting elevator.
James, Kaidan, Liara, EDI, and Garrus followed after, their pace more of a hobble than anything else. They were matted with a rainbow of hues, blood from what seemed like a dozen different sources. As they stood waiting for the elevator to return, Garrus couldn’t help but wonder how long it had been since they’d first arrived on Earth. He couldn’t even muster the energy or will to check the clock on his omni-tool.
He didn’t even bother trying to force his way into the med bay when they arrived on the crew deck. The windows were already dimmed and Chakwas was clearly already hard at work. He knew he’d be nothing more than a distraction, so he made his way to the mess hall instead.
To his surprise, a number of injured soldiers were strewn about the room, tending wounds clearly not bad enough to require Chakwas’ immediate attention. Cortez must have done a few evacs before theirs, because Garrus didn’t even recognize most of the people around him.
He took a leaden step into the room, but paused as pure exhaustion washed over him. He didn’t know what to do with himself, and he felt utterly useless. He didn’t even know where to sit where he wouldn’t be in the way, and though he knew he needed medical attention, it just didn’t seem like a priority at the moment.
The room was hushed, the loudest sounds being the occasional moans of the injured. Garrus stood there, motionless, as he stared blankly at the wall. He jumped as the comm sprang to life suddenly.
“ This is the admiral.” It was Hackett. Garrus looked up as he blinked, bracing himself for more bad news. “ We’ve got reports that someone made it to the Citadel.”
“Shepard.” Garrus breathed as his eyes widened. He knew it had to be him. There was no one else it could have been.
“ We need to give them time to get those arms open.” Hackett continued, “ All fleets: Converge on the Crucible. Protect it at all costs.”
“Let’s head to the bridge.” Kaidan said, and Garrus turned to see him and James nearby. Nodding, he followed after them, limping toward the elevator. As he turned the corner, he could hear a heart wrenching, nauseating scream from inside the med bay, but he stayed his feet before he could turn toward the door. There was nothing he could do for her right now except get in Chakwas’ way.
Swallowing, Garrus grimaced and hit the elevator button.
None of them were moving fast as they made their way into the cockpit. EDI had already arrived, taking her usual place in the seat to Joker’s right.
“Guys, did you hear? We got someone up onto the-” Joker twisted around in his chair just enough to glance back at them as they entered. He did a double take, his eyes nearly jumping out of his head as he registered their appearance. “Whoa. You guys look like shit.” The three of them shared dry looks, all of them plastered in blood, grime, and spirits-only-knew what else.
“Yeah. Thanks.” Garrus grunted as Kaidan rolled his eyes.
“So what’s happening with the Crucible?” James prompted, and Joker returned his focus to the screens before him.
“Well, you heard what Hackett said. We think someone made it to the beam.” Joker said as he began flicking through displays, and hope surged in Garrus, a ray of sun parting the suffocating clouds that had clung to him.
“It’s Shepard. I know it is.” He stated firmly, causing the others to look at him sharply.
“How can you be so sure?” Kaidan asked, his voice soft as he shook his head. As the Normandy turned, the Citadel came into view, sleek and tightly shut. “What if it’s just some trick? What if it’s the Illusive Man?” Kaidan’s voice was nothing but a whisper, as though admitting to his deepest fears.
“It’s Shepard.” Garrus repeated, leaving no room for doubt. “It’s him. It has to be.”
As if on cue, the Citadel’s arms began to open like the silent wings of a guardian angel. Their salvation. Garrus’ knees felt weak, threatening to drop him to the floor, and he reached for something to hold himself up as he forced himself to breathe a sigh of relief.
“ This is it, everyone.” Hackett’s voice came through Joker’s comm, loud and clear. “ The arms are opening.” The crucible immediately began moving forward, shedding its outer shell like some kind of second skin. Its own arms began to open, reaching out to position itself. “ Ten seconds to contact.”
The entire room held its breath as they waited to see the fruits of their labor. It began to slow as it approached the Citadel, and as it came to a crawl, they all leaned forward with baited breath.
“ That’s it! The Crucible is docked!”
“Yes!” Joker cried out in excitement as he pumped his fist into the air. “We did it!” Kaidan leaned forward to pat the pilot’s arm as he smiled, and James muttered a thankful prayer. But Garrus’ eyes narrowed as he watched the strange joining of gigantic machines.
“So… What now?” He asked hesitantly, and the others went quiet as they turned to him. “What’s supposed to happen now?”
They all looked up at the Crucible as it did absolutely nothing. They waited, and yet… nothing happened. They exchanged worried glances as dread began to return, their elation of moments before wilting away.
“ Shepard.” Hackett called out over the comm suddenly, breaking the silence. “ Commander!”
“ I- uh…” Shepard replied after a moment, but his voice was weak, strained. “What do you need me to do?” Garrus went cold at the pure pain and exhaustion in the Commander’s voice. It was unlike anything he’d ever heard from him before.
“ Nothing’s happening. The Crucible’s not firing.” Hackett explained urgently, and though Shepard didn’t respond for a moment or two, there were grunts of pain as he seemed to struggle. “ It’s got to be something on your end.”
Still, there was no reply from Shepard. They all waited anxiously, and Garrus’ mandibles fluttered as he forced himself to breath.
“ Commander Shepard! ” Hackett pleaded, and Kaidan ran his fingers through his hair as he turned away with a grimace.
“Come on, Shepard…” Joker whispered, his eyes narrowing as he looked up toward the Citadel, “You can do this…”
“ I don’t see— ” Shepard finally replied, his voice more a gasp than anything, “ I’m not sure how to—” He cut off suddenly.
“Commander?” Hackett asked, his voice losing its usual confidence. There was no reply. They stood there in silence as nothing happened.
“Is this really how it ends?” James whispered as the Normandy looped around the Crucible as close as they dared. “Did we really come this far… all for this? For nothing?”
“Wait! Look!” Joker exclaimed as he pointed toward the Citadel.
It was moving, its arms opening up wider. No one said anything as they watched in wonder. The only movement was the flashing of Joker’s hands over the controls.
They might have waited minutes, but Garrus had long since lost all sense of time. Was Shepard down there? If they flew just a little closer, would they be able to see him?
Without warning, a burst of bright light flashed into existence right at the point where the Citadel and Crucible met.
“All fleets!” Hackett broke the silence, his usual tone of command back in place. “ The Crucible is armed. Disengage and head to the rendezvous point.”
“Wait. We can’t just leave Shepard.” Joker stated in disbelief, outraged. “He’s the big goddamn hero! We can’t just leave without him!” His hands moved faster as the Normandy circled around the Crucible again, dodging Reaper forces as they attacked. Garrus and the others exchanged a heavy look.
“ I repeat: Disengage and get the hell out of here!” Joker continued to ignore the orders as he maneuvered the ship, his teeth set in a determined grimace. The ominous pinpoint of light was growing larger by the moment, and all around them, ships were turning and fleeing as fast as they could.
Part of Garrus wanted nothing more than to agree with Joker and stay to find Shepard. But then he thought back to his final conversation with the Commander before the shuttle had taken off.
Make sure she lives.
Garrus stepped forward and gripped Joker’s shoulder with gentle but firm force as he made his decision.
“Joker, listen. We have to go.” Joker froze at the words. He hesitated, but as the light emanating from the Crucible continued to expand exponentially, he finally came to a decision
“Damn it…” He flicked through the controls, and the Normandy began to turn away. Around them, ships were making the jump to FTL, and with a few more command inputs, the Normandy followed suit.
Garrus shut his eyes and looked away. He pictured Jane down below in the med bay fighting for her life, and he prayed they’d made the right decision. There was no telling what would happen when the Crucible fired, but if they wanted to live, they shouldn’t hang around to find out.
As they picked up speed, the stars beyond the window were little more than streaks through the sky, and Garrus let himself begin to relax. Was it over? Was it truly over?
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered the rising commotion from nearby. Voices filtered in from back in the CIC, and he turned to see anxious crew members pulling up new holo displays.
“What’s going on?” Garrus asked as he turned back to Joker. They were still picking up speed, which seemed excessive.
“ There’s an enormous wave of energy emanating out from the Sol system.” EDI explained, an odd note of fear in her voice. “ Jeff is attempting to outrun it, but-”
“I can do it.” The pilot hissed, his jaw clenched as he focused on the readouts before him. His hands moved faster than Garrus had ever seen them, and he seemed to be doing everything he could to draw out every drop of power from the Normandy.
Garrus could feel a growing turbulence as they continued to accelerate, and he gripped Joker’s chair anxiously as he tried to make sense of the holo displays before them.
Someone on the CIC shouted something, and Garrus noticed an odd, unexpected hue encroaching on them through the window. Looking down at the charts before them, he swallowed a lump of fear. The Normandy was pushed to its limits, and yet it wasn’t enough. The floor beneath him began to vibrate, warning sirens going off at a number of consoles.
This couldn’t be how they all died. They’d come so far, the Crucible had fired, they were so close, they couldn’t just-
Somewhere, there was an explosion, and Garrus lost his grip. Pain exploded in his head and everything went black.
It was almost completely silent.
It was odd. On the Citadel, there were always city sounds in the background, and on the Normandy you could always hear the soft sounds of the air system or the quiet hum of the engine. And back on Earth, there had been-
Garrus’ eyes shot open as memories began gushing back through his mind like the breaking of a dam. As he looked around, he struggled to process what he was seeing. He was on the floor of the Normandy’s cockpit, and bright light streamed in through the window. Not just any light, but the vivid warmth of natural sunlight.
“Where…?” He groaned as he sat up and looked around. He brought a hand to the side of his head, wincing at a stab of pain as his fingers came away sticky and blue with blood. It was hardly his worst injury at the moment, so he began picking himself up off the floor as best he could.
There was a groan from nearby, and he noticed Joker rolling his shoulder, still in the pilot’s chair.
“You okay?” Garrus asked, and after a pause, Joker nodded. Nearby, Kaidan was checking on EDI, who was sprawled out on the floor, unmoving, and James was on all fours as he struggled to get up. Back in the CIC, he could see crew members picking each other up and fiddling with displays. But besides basic life support, the Normandy seemed to be offline.
“I have enough systems working that I can at least do a quick scan…Hold on.” Joker trailed off as he pulled up a few displays. “We seem to be on some uncharted garden world.” He checked a few more charts and figures before sitting back. After a pause, he carefully began to stand. “It should be safe…”
Garrus watched as the pilot slowly stood and hobbled toward the airlock. The door hissed open, and sunlight poured into the small space. Squinting, Garrus followed after.
The planet was green, lush, and beautiful. The sunlight was warm on his skin, and a sweet, gentle breeze played across his skin and plates. It tickled his nose with the promise of unfamiliar flowers and other vegetation. Joker took a few halting steps down on to the rocky ground, and Garrus limped after him. Together, they looked up into the pale blue sky, cotton candy clouds drifting by lazily. Strange birds flapped their wings high above, and everything was utterly peaceful.
Garrus allowed himself to breathe deeply.
“We’re alive.” He whispered, his voice distant and awed. Joker turned to him with a small half smile, and nodded.
“Somehow.”
Garrus allowed himself one more breath of fresh air before turning back toward the ship. His leg screamed, but he pushed himself as he hurried toward the elevator. The lights were dim, but the lift appeared soon after he hit the button.
The crew deck was also quiet, almost reverently so. Injured soldiers whispered in small groups, their eyes coming up to watch him as he made a beeline for the med bay. Hitting the door button, he stepped inside.
“What’s happened?” Chakwas looked up from where she assisted last of her patients back onto one of the medbay’s beds. Much like the rest of the ship, the whole room was in shambles, and Garrus was suddenly transported back to the aftermath of their trip through the Omega 4 relay.
He kicked aside a box of gauze as he stepped into the room. Data pads that had once been stacked neatly upon the doctor’s desk were now strewn about the room, and her eternally half-drunk cup of coffee was splashed across the floor. Previously neat shelves had regurgitated their contents across the room, turning the floor into a minefield of medical supplies.
“We’ve crash landed on an unidentified garden planet.” Garrus muttered mechanically, his brain seemingly on autopilot as he looked around.
Every bed was full, the worst of the injuries having been brought in for Chakwas’ care. Along the wall were temporary cots made up of what mattresses and linens could be dragged in from the crew quarters, all of them splattered with blood. Chakwas, herself, was drenched in it, her hair sticking up wildly and deep bags beneath her eyes.
Garrus scanned each face until he found the only one in the galaxy that mattered.
Jane lay quietly on one of the beds, her torso wrapped tightly in stained gauze and bandages. He picked his way across the room until he was standing beside her, his eyes roaming across her body and face. Her eyes were shut, her breathing slow and shallow, and her skin was impossibly pale. She was connected to tubes and wires, and a machine beeped rhythmically nearby.
“Is she…?” Garrus breathed, unable to tear his eyes away from her face, unable to ask the question.
“She’ll pull through. She needs more care, but it will have to wait.” Chakwas sighed as she began peeling back a man’s bloody bandages, frowning. Garrus’ eyes landed on Jane’s bandaged torso. Her hard suit had been removed from the waist up, leaving her upper body bare except for the bandages. As he stared, his heart thudded painfully in his chest as it became impossible to ignore the obvious problem.
“Her arm…” Realization bloomed as he looked up, seeing a nearby tray with an array of bloodied tools. Her torso was wrapped tightly, but her arm…
It was completely gone.
Garrus looked up, his eyes wide, and Chakwas sighed as she finished replacing the other man’s dressing.
“I’m sorry, Garrus.” She began removing her gloves with slow, tired movements as she looked back at Jane. “I did what I could with what we have aboard, but there’s no telling when we’ll be able to get her to an equipped hospital. I had to prioritize her life.”
Mutely, Garrus nodded. After a moment, he ripped his eyes away from her and grabbed a nearby box of gauze from the floor. He opened the envelope and pulled it out before reaching for a bottle labeled as antiseptic for humans. Pouring some onto the gauze, he began dabbing at a few of Jane’s other various cuts, scrapes, and gashes that had been thus far ignored.
Keeping his hands busy and finding a way to be useful helped still his mind as he struggled to process this new reality. They had crash landed on an uncharted planet, they had no idea what had happened with the Reapers and the Crucible, spirits only knew what had happened to Shepard, and Jane-
Garrus slumped down onto a nearby stool and brought a hand up to cup his face. What if they couldn’t get the Normandy back online? What if they powered up their distress beacon and drew Reaper forces instead of help? The chances of the lifeforms on this planet being dextro amino based was slim, what if he ran out of rations before help arrived?
He cursed under his breath. To come all this way, only to die here like this…
A hand gripped his shoulder, and he looked up to see Doctor Chakwas standing before him, a tired smile on her face.
“She’s going to be okay. We’ll get through this. We always do.” She murmured as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. Garrus stared up at the pale-haired doctor and felt as though he was truly seeing her for the first time.
“Yeah, we always do.” He sighed and smiled as he nodded slowly. “We always do.”
Three Months Later
“Okay, Westmoreland, I’m going to need you and Campbell to head outside and help Cortez with getting the Hull Panel 21B in place.” Garrus directed as he handed a data pad off to the young woman, who nodded. “The soldering has been finished up and we need to get tests done once it’s back in position. And Jenkins!” He called out as the soldier walked by. Jenkins stopped and hurried over, back straight as he listened for instructions. “I need you to go and assist Adams down in Engineering. He needs an extra pair of hands to repair part of the drive core’s ventilation systems today.”
“Yes, sir!” Jenkins saluted before hurrying toward the elevators. Garrus sighed and picked up another data pad as he began scanning the list of remaining provisions.
“Wow, should I be calling you Commander Garrus now? Want me to salute, too?” Joker grinned as he hobbled past, having just left the elevator as Jenkins entered. Garrus rolled his eyes and ignored the pilot, though he couldn’t stop the amused flick of his mandibles.
“ Do not listen to Jeff. ” Garrus turned to see EDI approaching from the direction of the war room, a toolbox in one hand. “ He says he likes to play a game he calls ‘Poke the Bear.’ I do not understand the reference, however, as you are neither a bear nor is he poking you.” She looked almost irritated with herself. “ In the past, this is the sort of phrase I would research on the extranet. I look forward to the day we are able to reestablish our connection.” With that, she trailed after the pilot.
Garrus smiled as he returned his attention to his data pad. They’d had a scary first few days after their crash. EDI had collapsed and hadn’t recovered immediately. Whatever that beam of energy was had completely knocked her out. Adams and Liara had taken a look at the AI core and decided that there was at least some activity, but it wasn’t until a few days later that they were able to make contact with her.
EDI had, apparently, made some preparations prior to their mission to Earth. No one had been sure how the Crucible would target the Reapers, but knowing she carried Reaper code in her system, she had apparently been worried. She had decided to take precautions for when the Crucible was fired in order to protect her most important systems. And it had worked, to some extent. She was functional, though even three months later, she was still working to restore some of her systems.
Garrus frowned. They hadn’t been able to establish any sort of connection with the rest of the galaxy, and the Normandy was still grounded. They didn’t even know if the Crucible had successfully defeated the Reapers. There had been some debate right after the crash as to whether or not they should activate their emergency beacon. Eventually they had decided that, in the event that the Crucible hadn’t worked, they were living on borrowed time anyway. So they activated it, and still had yet to hear anything. From anyone , good or bad.
It made him anxious for a number of reasons. He looked down at the data pad in his hand and let his eyes scroll through their dwindling reserves of food. The rest of the crew could figure out how to live off the land, perhaps, but him …
Garrus spun and began his rounds. He hadn’t meant to take command, but the position had been empty and someone had needed to fill Shepard’s shoes. If no one found them, then their only hope was to get the Normandy into the air and limp her to the nearest inhabited system, wherever that may be. And to do that, they needed to get to work.
One by one, he checked in with each crew member, ensuring they were doing what they needed to be doing, and making sure they had what they needed for their job. Everyone seemed single-minded in their resolve not to die on some remote garden planet, so no one ever seemed to argue with him.
He stepped into the comm room and stopped.
“Goddamn. Fucking. Thing…” Jane growled as she struggled to tighten a bolt with her left hand. She was kneeling on the ground, twisted awkwardly as she tried to keep her balance. The wrench slipped and clattered to the ground and she let out a huff. “Fucking hell!”
“Here, let me help.” Garrus knelt down next to her and reached for the wrench. Jane quickly snatched it up before shooting him an irritated glower.
“I can do it. I didn’t ask for help.” Her words were short and clipped, the heat of her frustration bleeding into her voice. Garrus held up a hand in defense, and she quickly deflated. Sighing, she lay the wrench down beside her and sat back against the wall, running her hand through her bangs before brushing them out of her face. “Sorry, Garrus. I didn’t mean to snap at you. This is just… infuriating.”
“I know.” Garrus sat down beside her and leaned his head back. He took her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. He glanced across her body to her other sleeve as it hung limply, completely empty.
The first few weeks after Jane had woken up had been rough. Most of the crew had been left reeling after their sudden crash, but Jane’s recovery been understandably rocky. She’d laid there in utter defeat as Chakwas had explained what happened, and Garrus would never forget the storm of emotions that had crossed her face as she’d processed it.
The first week she’d lived in a fog of depression, convinced that her brother had died and that she’d never adjust to life with only one arm. Then had come the anger, which was about what Garrus had expected from someone as hot tempered as Jane. She’d oscillated through what Chakwas assured him was a perfectly normal range of emotions for someone who was in mourning. When Garrus had pointed out that they didn’t know that Shepard was dead, she’d informed him that what Jane was most likely mourning was herself .
Jane, who had always been one of the quickest, most capable people in any room she’d set foot in. Jane, who had been one of the best hand-to-hand combatants Garrus had ever gone up against. Jane, who had spent her life honing her abilities, an artist with a sniper rifle.
Jane, who now only had a single arm.
So much of what she’d prided about herself had been stripped away in an instant. She’d struggled with everything, from getting dressed to feeding herself. Garrus did his best to help her, but in typical Jane fashion, she had doubled down and almost always refused help.
Bit by bit, she began pulling herself back out of the pit, but every now and then he caught her staring bleakly off into the distance, her face so stricken that he had no doubt what was on her mind. It put things in perspective, watching her struggle to cope.
“Sorry.” Jane murmured again, their fingers intertwining as Garrus felt the pressure of her cheek on his shoulder. “This has been… so hard. And I…” Her voice cracked, and she paused to take a breath. “I can’t stop wondering. I just wish I knew what had happened, one way or another. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive. I don’t know if I should mourn, or worry, or… or what. I can’t stand this waiting and wondering.”
“Me, neither. We’ll keep working, and eventually we’ll get back to Earth one way or another.” Garrus turned his head to press a kiss into her soft hair, humming contentedly as it tickled his nose. The smell of her shampoo engulfed him, a familiar comfort.
“Garrus,” she whispered, fear creeping up in the silent moment that followed, “You know we only have a few more weeks of dextro rations…” She trailed off, and Garrus released a long sigh, but he didn’t move.
“I’ll be fine.”
“I can’t do this without you.” The words were quiet, and yet they seemed to echo through the small room. “I can’t just sit here and watch you starve to death. You’ve been on 3/4th rations for the past few weeks and you’ve already lost so much weight.”
Standing, Garrus brushed his pants off before offering her a hand. She glowered up at him before begrudgingly taking it and allowing him to pull her to her feet.
“How about we just focus on getting the ship working again.” He said as he turned toward the door. He couldn’t make himself meet her eye as he focused on pushing the thoughts of his impending fate to the back of his mind. There was nothing he could do about it at the moment except work a little harder, push a little further. And there was plenty of time for anxiety as he lay in bed each night, his stomach growling.
“Fine.” Jane grunted as she reached down and grabbed her wrench and tossed it back into her tool box with a loud clatter. She snapped the box shut, picked it up, and followed Garrus as he left the comm room and made his way through the war room.
He could feel her glare burning a hole through the floor as they walked, and as they passed by the empty conference room, he paused to look back at her with a half cocked smile.
“If work isn’t keeping you distracted, I can think of other activities to keep your mind off things…” He trailed off as his smile grew wider, and Jane’s eyebrows shot up. A smile tickled the corners of her lips as she fought against it.
“Are you suggesting something, Mr. Vakarian?” If she could, she would have crossed her arms in mock offense, he just knew it.
“I might be, Mrs. Shepard.” Garrus took a step closer so that they were a hair’s breadth apart. They stood like that, noses almost brushing as each refused to break eye contact. Just as he was about to grab her, he heard the loud thud of the tool box hitting the floor. Before he knew what was happening, she’d grabbed the front of his shirt in a firm fist and thrust him back against the glass of the conference room wall. She released his shirt as she leaned in, her firm hand pressing him back as she grinned up at him wolfishly. “Careful what you wish for, Big Guy.”
Garrus couldn’t help the pleased and aroused hum of his subvocals. The past week or two, Jane had finally begun to seem more like herself. Gentle coaxing and support had helped her through her recovery, and in moments such as these, he knew she’d be okay.
She’d just pressed her soft, warm lips to his mouth plates when there was an awkward clearing of a throat over the comm.
“ Uh, sorry to interrupt,” Joker sounded anything but as he suppressed a laugh, “ but I think you guys need to get up here. Like, now .”
Jane stepped back, her eyebrows raised as she looked up. “What is it, Joker?”
“ We just got a blip on the sensors. We’re not sure, but we think it might be someone who can help.”
Jane stood up straighter for a heartbeat before turning and hurrying through the unmanned security checkpoint, her toolbox left forgotten on the floor behind her. Garrus followed after without another thought. Together, they all but ran through the CIC.
“Who is it?” Jane asked sharply as she came to stand behind him, leaning forward as she gripped the shoulder of Joker’s chair.
“I just got confirmation, it’s an asari patrol. They’ve been out searching for survivors, and are apparently very pleased to have found us. Guess we’ve been missed or something.”
“Do we have a secure line yet?” Liara asked as she came to a stop beside them, out of breath as though she’d ran.
“Just about, hold on…” Joker hit a few commands, and a holo screen popped up.
“ Come in Normandy, do you read?” A staticy voice asked as a picture appeared. It wavered a little, but seemed to grow stronger by the moment.
“Yes, this is the SSV Normandy. We read you loud and mostly clear.” Joker proclaimed triumphantly as he leaned forward with eager anticipation, the fruits of their labor and an answer to their prayers finally having arrived.
“ It’s an honor to have been the ones to finally find you guys.” A cheerful asari chirped as she smiled. “ Are you alright? We have a team preparing to go goundside momentarily to provide support .”
“Our ship is, obviously, nonfunctional at the-” Joker began, but Jane pushed forward cutting him off suddenly.
“The war. Did we win?” She asked urgently, putting voice to the question on everyone’s mind. “Did the Crucible fire? Did it destroy the Reapers? Did we win?” The words tumbled out of her like an eruption, the pressure too much to keep contained any longer. The asari exchanged a surprised look with someone off screen before looking back with a wide smile.
“ Yes. The war is over .” An explosion of wild cheers went up around the room, and Garrus threw back his head and laughed. Relief washed over him, a weight removed that had been there so long he had stopped registering it. Turning away, he ran a hand over his crest as chuckles reverberated in his chest. To his surprise, half the Normandy’s crew seemed to be standing behind them, clustered in the small hall leading from the CIC, all cheering, hugging, laughing, and crying as they listened in.
“ The Reapers were all deactivated somehow. There was this tremendous burst of red energy from the Crucible, and all the Reapers just… fell over. It was amazing!”
Garrus reached for Jane, whose eyes were bright with overwhelmed emotion, and pulled her in for a hug. Her arm came up to wrap around him, clinging to him for dear life, and she struggled with an upswell of emotion. They had been fighting the Reapers for so long. And it was over. It was finally over.
After a moment, Jane broke away, reaching again for Joker’s chair. The asari on the screen was grinning as she watched them celebrating, but her focus turned to Jane as she leaned in.
“What about Commander John Shepard? Is he alright?” Jane asked loudly over the sounds of jubilant voices around her. Everyone hushed as they processed her question, turning expectantly to the holo screen as they awaited the answer.
The asari’s smile fell as she turned to exchange a guarded look with the person off screen. Garrus’ happiness and relief of moments earlier froze solid in his veins. He could see Jane stiffen, the strain and anxiety in her aura nearly palpable.
“ I… I don’t know. I heard he’d been found, but…” The asari wilted as she paused, clearly unsure how to continue. Jane’s reply was cold steel.
“You need to get us back to Earth. Now .”
It was with great relief that Garrus boarded the shuttle and made the trip up to the asari ship that would take them back to Earth. He’d pictured himself dying in any number of action packed or heroic ways over the years, but starving to death on a lush, beautiful garden planet full of food he couldn’t eat had not been one of them.
It took a few loads, but they managed to get all of the Normandy’s crew aboard, and before long, they were heading toward Earth. It was a quiet journey, and though they knew they were returning victorious, they also knew they were returning to a world which had been all but destroyed in the process. Garrus remembered distinctly the destruction they’d witnessed in London, and he had to imagine a good deal of the planet looked similar. Loss was something each and every one of them had experienced over the last few months.
Soon after they arrived in Earth’s orbit, they loaded back into the shuttle to head down to the surface. Jane sat in utter silence, her face dark, storm clouds billowing in her expression. Her leg vibrated anxiously as she stared a hole through the ground, her single set of fingers drumming out a pattern on her knee.
They had had very little news about Shepard other than that he’d been found and was being treated at the closest thing the Alliance had to a hospital these days. The asari aboard the ship would only speak of Shepard in hushed, awed voices as though he were something unreal, a legend or perhaps a god. It seemed as though actual information about Shepard was being kept quiet, probably by the Alliance, but whispers and rumors about him seemed to be running rampant. Garrus heard all sorts of speculation from the asari crew, including one maiden who was absolutely convinced that Shepard had stopped the Reapers with the power of love, of all things.
Regardless, Garrus knew that they’d find out what happened up on the Citadel sooner or later. All he cared about was whether or not Shepard was okay. And on that point, the asari crew had little to no information.
The shuttle touched down just outside the building which was currently the Alliance’s main military hospital. Prior to the war, Garrus would have been shocked by the rundown, half dilapidated building. Now, however, he was just astonished they’d managed to find a building this large that was still intact.
“Guys! Over here!” Garrus’ head snapped around, his eyes widening as he recognized the familiar voice.
“Ash!” Jane called out as she turned and hurried toward the doorway. Ashley stood there in Alliance fatigues as she waved eagerly, her hair tied up in a loose ponytail. She tried to hide her double take as she noticed Jane’s arm, but caught her up in a warm hug nonetheless.
“It’s so good to see you guys. We were so worried.” Ashley murmured as they stepped apart. She avoided looking at Jane’s missing limb with a focus so intense that she might as well have stared.
“It’s good to see you, too, Ash.” Garrus said as he held out his hand, and she shook it with a smile as she shifted her attention to him.
“Where’s John? Can you take me to him?” Jane insisted, not in the mood to waste any time. Ashley nodded as she gestured toward the door.
“Sure, come on. We’ll head right up.” Garrus watched Ashley’s face for any hint of what to expect, but it seemed carefully schooled to neutrality.
Every room they passed was packed to the brim, beds lining the walls with very little space left for maneuvering. Soldiers with a variety of injuries were covered in bandages, some of which were makeshift alternatives to traditional medical dressings, and Garrus wondered how long ago they’d run out of medigel. Nurses bustled from room to room, distributing cold rations and bottled water, and he supposed that they were lucky enough to have that, at least.
Despite the rough conditions, there was an air of optimism and calm in every hall they traversed. It was as though none of it mattered, now that the Reapers were gone. In comparison to what they’d been through, what they’d experienced during the war, this was nothing. There were no monstrous abominations knocking down their doors, and there were no hellish gods of death descending from the sky. This was calm, this was peace. This is what they’d fought for.
Garrus blinked as they stepped into an elevator and registered the fact that Ashley had been talking to them the entire time. He hadn’t been listening, and from the look of Jane’s far-off gaze, neither was she.
The doors opened, and Garrus tried to curb his stream of consciousness as they stepped out into a hushed hallway. This floor seemed different, almost hallowed. There were guards stationed just outside the elevator, and they nodded their recognition as the three of them stepped out. Silently, Ashley led them down the hallway, but it wasn’t long until they stopped before a closed door. Two more guards stood stiffly outside, and Garrus’ brow plates rose in surprise.
It seemed like a lot of security for one man. Had there been attempts on Shepard’s life? Or were they trying to stop Shepard from leaving? As one soldier reached to palm the door controls for them, Garrus thought of the asari crew’s reverent whispers about Shepard. Perhaps all of this was meant as respect for the hero who had saved not only mankind, but all life across the galaxy.
Garrus’ eyes flicked to Jane as the doors opened, noting her downcast eyes and tense jaw. She’d refused to speak about her anxieties regarding what they’d find at the hospital, but could see the stomach churning, heart pumping worry that clutched her. Her unvoiced fears radiated off her in waves, her knuckles white as she clenched her hands tightly at her sides.
“Jane! Garrus!” He looked up to see Tali sitting beside a single bed in what was perhaps the only private room in the building. A machine at the bedside beeped with a quiet rhythm, and dancing motes caught the morning light as it streamed through the window. “You’re here!”
Tali stood as she turned to fully face them, her hands coming up to grasp her helmet in surprise. Jane took one faulting step into the room, her breath caught in her chest as her eyes went wide. Tali stepped aside as she turned to look back down at the figure in the bed.
Shepard lay under a layer of sheets, a wide smile on his tired face. He had a variety of wires attaching him to the complicated machine at his bedside, and between the variety of new scars and his considerable weight loss, Garrus might not have recognized him. Despite that, Shepard looked happier and more relaxed than he had in months, perhaps even since the beginning of the war.
“John!” Jane crossed the room in the flash of an eye. “You’re alive! They couldn’t tell me anything, I thought…” She trailed off, her voice thick with emotion as tears threatened to fall. She stopped beside the bed as she reached for his hand, and Shepard gazed up with her with warm affection as his own eyes began to brim with tears.
“I’m so happy you’re okay, Jane. When I woke up, they had no idea where the Normandy was or any of you on it. I feared the worst.” Jane sat on the bedside and bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. Shepard’s eyes closed, basking in the warmth of his sister’s affection as a single tear trickled down his check.
“So did I.” Jane whispered as she sat back up and smiled down at her brother, clasping his hand firmly. “You look rough, even after three months. I can’t even imagine what you went through.” Her words were nearly a whisper, and images of what Shepard must have experienced flashed through Garrus’ mind unbidden. He came to stand beside the bed, and Shepard gave him a watery smile.
“Garrus, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you guys are both alright.” He brought his free hand up to scrub at his eyes, brushing away the tears, careful to avoid the tubes and wires protruding from his arm.
“You, too, Shepard. Looks like you’ve been through the ringer.” Garrus said, and Shepard chuckled as he nodded.
“Yeah, they said it was a miracle I survived. No one quite knows how, but Miranda thinks it was all my cybernetics. I don’t really care how it happened, I’m just happy to be alive.” Carefully, he began pulling himself up to sit, still mostly supported by the headboard. He reached forward to pull Jane into a hug, which she readily returned.
Garrus turned to offer a greeting to Tali, who swept him up in a hug of her own. As they pulled apart, he turned to see Shepard holding Jane out at arm’s length, his eyes opened wide in shock.
“Jane, your arm…” He murmured as he examined her, and Jane averted her eyes.
“Yeah, Chakwas couldn’t...” Her words were quiet, as though ripped from her in shame. She opened her mouth to continue, but cut off as Shepard let loose a bark of laughter. They both stared at him in hurt surprise as chuckles continued to bubble up, and Shepard released her to cover his face. “What the hell , John?” Jane hissed as her eyes narrowed, but Shepard waved his hand for her to wait as he settled.
“I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t mean to laugh, it’s just-” Shepard cut off as he shifted and gripped the sheet covering him. With a swift yank, he flung it off, forcing Jane to stand. “I guess we match now.”
Garrus stared as he registered what he was seeing. Shepard sat on the bed, dressed in nothing but a hospital gown that covered his chest, torso, and waist, leaving his scarred leg exposed.
His single leg.
“John, what…” Jane looked her brother’s body over in astonishment as she took in his missing limb. His other leg stopped abruptly at mid thigh, and Shepard rubbed it gently as though it were sore or stiff. Jane’s legs seemed to give out, and she plopped back down on to the bed, tears trickling down her cheeks.
Her shoulders began to shake, and Garrus was about to offer her comfort when he heard an unexpected sound. Without warning, Jane began to laugh through the tears as she reached for her brother. He, too, began to laugh again as they clung to each other, a sopping mess of relief and gratitude to a universe kind enough to return their last remaining family member.
The chuckles slowly petered out as Garrus and Tali exchanged bemused glances, and eventually the siblings pulled apart, their hands still clutched tightly between them.
“I can’t believe it.” Jane whispered as her brother lifted a hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks tenderly. “We did it. We destroyed the Reapers, and we survived.”
“Yeah, it seems like some sort of dream. I’m still processing it all.” Shepard agreed as he brushed away his own tears again. Jane looked back down at his missing leg.
“So, are you going to be fitted for a prosthetic? They have some really amazing cybernetic ones, I hear you can barely tell the difference. You’ll need a good one if you want to return to duty.” Shepard smiled at her words, but shook his head.
“I’ll probably get a prosthetic, but I won’t be returning to the Alliance. I’ve officially retired.” Jane blinked in surprise at his words, her mouth popping open. “I think I’ve done my part for the galaxy. Now I just want to focus on living so I can enjoy the peace we worked so hard to secure.” He turned to look up at Tali with a warm smile. After a moment, Jane nodded her understanding.
“I think that’s great, John. You deserve it.” She said as she looked at the couple gazing at each other happily. Finally, Shepard turned back to Jane with a question in his eyes.
“What about you, Jane? What are you going to do now?”
Jane sat there quietly as she looked out toward the window. Beyond it, the surrounding city lay in ruins, a few construction projects underway in order to establish housing and storage for supplies. Trucks picked their way through cracked and broken roads, and people of all races working together to move supplies and debris.
They lived in a different world now, one that had been through hell and come out the other side. They had a future now, something that hadn’t been guaranteed just months before. People were free to hope and dream, knowing they would have a chance to make those dreams a reality without fear of the Reapers looming over them.
Garrus stepped closer to place a hand on Jane’s good shoulder, and she smiled as she brought her hand up to rest upon his. She gave it a squeeze.
“I don’t know.” She stated, her voice laced with a firm strength he hadn’t heard in months. “But I’m excited to find out.”
The light filtering through the window caught her vibrant hair, and Garrus lifted his other hand to loop a lock of it over one talon gently. He didn’t know what their future would hold, but he knew one thing.
He couldn’t think of anyone else he’d rather face it with.
Notes:
And there we have it, part 3 is complete! This has been such a journey, thank you so much to everyone who has made it this far with me. If you've enjoyed it, please let me know! I'd love to hear what you think. It's been a bit emotional for me as we get to this point. This project has been very dear to my heart and has taken me almost exactly two years to write. It's very strange seeing it come to a close. I'll be back with the epilogue very soon, where I hope to address any questions that still remain and give our characters a future. Until then!
Chapter 76: Epilogue
Summary:
In which Jane finds happily ever after.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Loyalty and Limerence
Part 3
Epilogue
Illium, Seven Years Later
Jane dropped behind cover as a concussive round whizzed overhead. She adjusted her rifle as she pressed her back against the low wall and looked over to where Garrus knelt nearby. He nodded, his own rifle at the ready. Turning, Jane looked over at Jack, who smirked as she lifted her pistol up expectantly. Jane held up three fingers, then two, then one.
In one swift movement, Jack rolled out of cover and flung a biotic blast outwards, catching the large man as he hurried toward them. He was flung backwards, tumbling off a nearby ledge and down onto the level below. At the same moment, Jane twisted out of cover and brought up her rifle to aim. In an instant, the willowy woman lurking on the level above was within her sights, and she pulled the trigger. The woman screamed as she dropped, a hand brought up to her shoulder in pain.
Garrus darted forward and wove around a pile of debris before bringing his assault rifle up to aim. He shot off a burst, and there was another scream as he took out the man Jack had tossed with her blast. When Garrus looked back toward Jane, there was an infectious self-satisfied smirk on his face, and Jane grinned. Damn, it felt great to be good at her job.
Jane froze as her whole body went rigid. She was thrust up into the air, and she spun to see an asari glaring at her, her arms wreathed in blue biotics. Jane brought up her pistol and aimed as best she could while slowly spinning through the air. Quickly, she let her eyes flick to the drone the floated nearby, smirking as she read the numbers it had displayed, then fired. The asari screamed as she grabbed her hand just as a series of biotic explosions converged on her. She flew through the air, landing hard a few yards away as Jane hit the ground.
A horn blew through the speakers, and the fixtures overhead flicked back to full brightness, engulfing the room in unnatural light. A roar of cheers erupted and Jack thrust her fists into the air.
“Yes! Damn, that felt good!” She exclaimed triumphantly as Jane picked herself up and spun to look up at the huge score board hanging in the middle of the room with a smile.
“Not bad, if I do say so myself.” Garrus stated, his voice dripping with satisfaction as he walked over, holstering his weapon with a grin. Jane held her hand out to him, palm up, and he reached for it. They gave each other a quick squeeze as the VI chimed in overhead.
“ This match brought to you by Rosenkov Materials. For a piece of the action… or just peace of mind.”
“Come on, guys. Let’s go shower up.” Jane turned toward the door to the locker room with a quick wave of her hand, and the other two followed after.
“Woo!” Jack hollered as she shoved the locker room door open and strode in, a wide smile on her face. “That was a fucking rush!” She quickly tossed her equipment down, shucked off her clothes, and made her way toward the showers. Jane rolled her eyes as she began unclipping her hard suit’s clasps.
“’Let’s invite Jack to join the team’, you said.” Garrus tittered in a mimicry of her own voice, “’She’ll be a great addition to the team’, you said.” The words carried no sting to them, just the usual locker room banter that had become part and parcel for their little trio.
“Go die in a fire, dinosaur!” Jack called out with false sweetness just before the sound of high pressure water began emanating from the showers. Garrus chuckled and shook his head fondly as he started on his own straps.
The professional locker rooms of the Galactic Simulated Combat League were much nicer than the public lockers rooms available at most of the arenas. It paid being one of the top teams, Jane mused as she eyed the counter set up with pre-warmed towels, chilled water bottles, and an array of high end snacks and goodies. The League knew exactly who made them their money.
Jack sighed happily as steam billowed out of the fancy shower stall along with the flowery smell of her favorite soap. Jane would always find that small incongruence amusing.
Placing her chest piece in the automatic cleaner, she began unzipping her under suit. Carefully, she pulled her right arm out of the sleeve and began her usual post-combat check.
“Everything good?” Garrus asked as he began pulling off his boots.
“Yeah, just giving it the usual once over. Really don’t want to damage this thing, Miranda would probably kill me if I had to schedule a repair session so soon after last time.” Jane muttered as she clenched and unclenched her fist. Her prosthetic was a work of art, honestly. If she wasn’t looking right at it, she often forgot it wasn’t her own arm. Every single little movement was carried out perfectly, every sensation perfectly conveyed to her nervous system. Honestly, it was even better than her original arm. This one was much less likely to shake under stress.
She’d also be lying if she said it wasn’t pretty bad ass looking.
Content that nothing was out of place after their match, Jane continued pulling off her armor and placing it in the cleaner. A quick shower and dressing later, and she stood near the doorway, her bag slung over one shoulder as she waited for the others. She ran her fingers through her damp hair, not for the first time marveling at the details her prosthetic could pick up. She left her armor and weaponry in the locker, content in the knowledge that it would be packed up and shipped to the arena of their next scheduled match.
“Come on, slowpokes! We have a shuttle to catch!” She hollered as she tapped her foot impatiently.
“Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!” Jack yelled back from where she sat as she pulled her boots on. “I carry this shitty team on my back, so you can just calm your titties, Princess.” Jane sighed, but failed to hide the smile on her face.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Jack.” Garrus hummed as he shut his locker and turned to head toward the door.
By the time they made their way out of the building, there was a huge crowd on either side of the barricaded carpet leading to their waiting skycar. Excited fans cried out the moment the door opened, and hands reached out toward them as they walked by. Jane smiled as she waved at them, and even Jack lifted a hand in greeting, albeit somewhat reluctantly. She pretended to despise the attention, but Jane suspected Jack enjoyed it more than she’d admit.
Pausing for a moment, Jane took a proffered pen and scribbled a signature or three on various objects before handing it back. Turning, she watched Garrus do the same before finally reaching their waiting ride. They slipped into the skycar’s backseats as Jack tossed her bag at them before leaping into the passenger seat.
“Great match, Sweetie.” Kaidan murmured as he reached over to place a quick kiss on Jack’s cheek before sitting back in the driver’s seat and hitting the button to close the door. The excited shouts of the fans were instantly silenced.
“Yeah, Sweetie , you did great .” Jane crooned in a teasing tone, chuckling as Jack’s hand snapped up to flash her a rude gesture. She sat back in her seat and grinned as Garrus rolled his eyes. Kaidan took the controls, and they were speeding off toward the shuttle port.
“I love teaching, but you don’t get to push it like you do in the arena. Thank god the primary season works out with the school break.” Jack muttered as she gazed out the window at the shimmering towers speeding by.
“You needed something, a hobby of some sort. I’m glad this has worked out so well for you.” Kaidan mused with a soft smile. Jack huffed quietly, but didn’t argue.
“Retirement was getting a little boring.” Jane agreed as she pulled up her omni-tool and began checking their flight status.
“You were chafing pretty badly without anything to shoot at,” Garrus added offhandedly, as though he’d been any better. Jane snorted in amusement as she gazed out the window. Illium hadn’t been hit quite as hard during the Reaper war as places like Thessia. The repairs were coming along well, and there was plenty of money and manpower to get the job done. Their newly built arena was one of the nicer ones, in Jane’s opinion. But there was still evidence of the destruction as they weaved between the skyscrapers. She watched as a vehicle lifted a support beam into place as they worked to repair a building that still bore scorch marks, even years later.
“Hey, Sol just sent me a message.” Garrus murmured, and Jane looked over to see him flicking through his omni-tool. “She and dad just moved into their new place in Cipritine. It sounds nice, at least compared to the temporary places they’ve been staying up till now.”
“That’s good.” Jane replied as Garrus’ eyes continued scrolling through the message. They widened as he smiled incredulously.
“And she was just accepted into medical school! She just snuck that in there like it was no big deal.”
“Good for her!” Jane exclaimed as she reached over to pat Garrus’ leg. She could see the brotherly pride radiating off him as he kept reading. She couldn’t help but wonder if his sister’s interest in medicine stemmed from what their mother went through.
“Yeah. She won’t say as much, but I can tell she’s excited.”
“And how’s your dad doing?”
“She hasn’t mentioned, but last I heard from him, he was considering accepting an official position within the hierarchy. He’s been advising unofficially for years now, pretending like he’s still retired even though he spends almost all his time either volunteering in the community or assisting Victus with various projects. He doesn’t know how to sit still and relax.”
“Sounds like someone else I know.” Jane raised a brow at him, which he studiously ignored. “Well, that’s good. I’m glad things are going well for them. I’m excited to see their new place when we visit in a few weeks.”
“Yeah. Me, too.” Garrus’ smile became soft, and Jane gave his leg another squeeze as he closed the message. They quickly fell into conversation as they discussed the day’s match, only stopping when they arrived at the shuttleport. They grabbed their bags and made their way through security. Jane scanned her omni-tool at the identity verification console, but froze as someone called out her name.
“Shepard!”
She spun, the voice familiar in a way that made hairs rise on the back of her neck.
“Vasir.” She grunted as she narrowed her eyes, her hand twitching toward her holstered pistol beneath her jacket. Beside her, Garrus didn’t even bother hiding his hostility as he glared at the approaching asari.
“I thought that was your mop of red hair I saw.” Tela Vasir smirked as she stopped before them, glancing down at the nervous security officer’s console before raising a brow at Jane. “I’m surprised to see you flying coach, though I shouldn’t be surprised. Such a pity you resigned, you were one of our best agents.” Jane couldn’t tell if the comment was supposed to be sarcastic or not, but she supposed that was intentional. Vasir did like her games.
Her eyes flicked to Jane’s arm, and she could feel her cybernetic fingers clench around her bag’s straps.
“I had heard you’d lost an arm.” The asari stated evenly, her face carefully neutral. Jane raised an eyebrow as she hefted her bag onto her shoulder.
“I got better. Now, look. We have a match in a few days on Earth, and we really can’t afford to miss our shuttle. So, if you’ll excuse us…” Jane gestured to the line which had continued on without her, causing a hold up behind them. Vasir ignored her.
“Ah, yes. I’d heard about your little hobby. Your team has been doing fairly well, hasn’t it?”
“What are you even doing here? Just dicking around at shuttleport security for fun? Don’t tell me the great Tela Vasir is nothing but a rent a cop now.”
“Hardly. I got a tipoff that a target I’ve been hunting might be passing through here in the next day or two, so I’m-“
“Hey!” Jack leaned out from behind Jane and Garrus, glaring daggers at Vasir. “Get the fuck out of the way, or I’ll give security something to bitch about.” Vasir’s eyes flicked to Jack for a heartbeat, her look of amusement bordering on a cold sneer.
“Lovely company you’re keeping these days.” She turned back to Jane, her face losing its disdain and gaining a sincerity Jane hadn’t seen in years. “Look. I know we didn’t end on friendly terms. But if you’re willing, I’d like to put the past behind us. We were friends once. I’d like to be again.”
Vasir’s eyes were guarded as though preparing herself for rejection, but she stepped forward to extend her hand nonetheless. Jane considered her for a moment before turning a fraction to glance back at Garrus. He shrugged, the ghost of a smile on his face as his mandibles flicked. Jane smiled back at him before turning back to Vasir and taking her hand in a firm shake.
“We’ll have some shit to work through, I think. But I’ll hit you up next time we’re in the neighborhood. Maybe we can grab a drink.” Jane stated, and Vasir’s lips curled up in what must have been one of the first unguarded smiles she’d ever seen from her.
“Sounds like a plan. Good luck with your next match.” Vasir released her hand and stepped back, and Jane nodded in acknowledgment.
“Thanks.” With that, she continued on through the security checkpoint.
“That was unexpected.” Garrus muttered as he followed after, and Jane nodded.
“You don’t mind if I grab drinks with her? You have more than enough reason to hate her.” Jane thought years back to their fight during their search for the Shadow Broker. It hadn’t been that far from here, actually.
“No, it’s fine.” Garrus said as he shook his head. “It was years ago, and I think what she did during Cerberus’ coup on the Citadel more than makes up for what she did to me. Who knows what would have happened if she hadn’t shown up.”
“True.”
Their trip to Earth was uneventful, and Jane looked up contentedly as she felt the gentle sunlight playing across her face as they stepped off the shuttle. Her mind flicked to a similar moment years before, and her smile faded. It felt like a lifetime ago that she’d arrived back on Earth to visit John while he’d been under guard.
That trip hadn’t ended the way she’d anticipated.
Garrus’ hand snaked around her hand, his fingers intertwining with hers. Jane looked up at him, and he smiled down at her. She squeezed his hand and felt her shoulders relax.
This trip would be different. She reminded herself of that every time they made this voyage.
The skycar landed in the small parking area, and the door popped open. The gentle sound of crashing waves washed over Jane and she breathed in the salty smell of the ocean air. Standing, she stepped down out of the car, gravel crunching underfoot as she turned to grab her bag.
Their match had gone as close to perfect as they could have hoped. It always amazed Jane how big a crowd the GSCL games drew, but she supposed it wasn’t uncommon for people to look to organized sports in difficult times. Earth was recovering bit by bit, but it would still be a long time before it was anything like it had been. Most of its major cities had been all but burned to the ground, and no one recovered from damage like that quickly.
It was hard to think about that out here in the country, though. Jane breathed in deeply, sighing happily as she turned to look out over the horizon. The late morning sun was rising steadily into the sky, its light reflecting off the gentle waves like sparkling diamonds. They washed up on the small, sandy beach where an abandoned sand castle sat, the dried sand slowly crumbling as the gentle breeze worked on it.
There was a crunch of gravel, and Jane turned to see Garrus coming around from the other side of the skycar.
“Should we head up?”
“Yeah, let’s go say hi.” She held her hand out, and he took it. Together, they made for the small rocky path that wound up towards a nearby hill. The grass was green in a way that seemed only possible in picture books, dotted all around with small, colorful wildflowers that danced in the breeze. Jane took another breath in, their sweet fragrance curling up around her with each step.
Atop the hill stood a cozy-looking house looking out over the water, its large windows positioned perfectly to capture the picturesque view. There was a wide porch, and hanging from the ceiling was a swing that moved slowly back and forth in the wind.
They made their way up the steps and stood before the door. Jane hit the small holo button just to the right of it, and they heard a muffled chime somewhere from within the house, followed by a loud crash. Jane and Garrus exchanged a concerned look, but waited.
After about a minute, the door whooshed open to reveal a naked human child, no more than three or four years old, as he reached up for the door controls. Jane smiled down at the child as she crossed her arms.
“Are you supposed to be opening the door on your own, David?” She asked lightly, and the little boy grinned up at her, snot dripping from one nostril.
“But I can reach it now. I’m a big boy!”
“Auntie Jane!” A flash of red shot through the living room and threw itself at her, sending her stumbling backwards as small arms wrapped around her.
“Sima’Zorah! You get back here this instant and clean this up!” John’s voice called out from the kitchen, and the eight-year-old red clad quarian girl detached herself from Jane’s middle as she looked back over her shoulder with a posture that relayed her guilt. Her shining eyes peeked up at Jane through her small envirosuit helmet.
“Sorry, I need to go help daddy clean up. You guys can probably come inside, though.” Turning, she took the naked boy by the hand. “Come on, Davey. Let’s go find your underpants.” And with that, the two children made their way back into the kitchen. Jane and Garrus stepped into the living room and put their bags down just as John came around the corner.
“Jane! Garrus! You made it!” He smiled widely as he wiped his hands off on a kitchen towel. He tucked it into the pocket on the front of the apron he was wearing, which was smeared with something unidentifiable.
Jane drew back, trying hard not to make a face as John stepped toward her, his arms open for a hug. He rolled his eyes as he adjusted his posture so as not to wipe the mess down Jane’s front.
“Don’t worry, it’s just cookie dough. Or rather, it’s supposed to be. I don’t think the dextro batch turned out quite right.” The two siblings hugged each other tightly before stepping back. “Maybe you can give me a hand with it later, Garrus.” John turned to Garrus and pulled him in for a hug, causing his mandibles to flutter.
“Can’t say it’s my area of expertise, but I’ll try my best.” Garrus laughed as they drew back.
“I’ve gotten pretty good at cooking over the last few years, but baking still eludes me a bit. Tali says it’s because I’m bad at measuring. Apparently ‘eyeballing it’ doesn’t cut it with baking.” John shrugged as he began pulling the apron off. “How was the trip? I caught your match on the TV last night, you guys were fantastic.”
“Thanks. The trip was fine, as usual. It’s always a beautiful drive up here.” Garrus mused, and John’s smile grew wider as he nodded in agreement.
“Where’s Tali and Maddie?” Jane asked as they followed John toward the kitchen, their eyes widening as they beheld the leftover baking mess.
“They’re out in the shop. Tali’s teaching her about switch-mode incremental class-G amplifiers.” John paused, his head cocked to the side. “Or something like that. I don’t know, I might have accidentally made that up.” He grinned as he looked back at them sheepishly. “I don’t have a head for engineering. Which is fine by me, I leave all that stuff up to my genius wife and daughter.”
Jane set to work helping John and Sima with tidying up the cookie disaster while Garrus took David to find some clothing. The time passed quickly as they caught up with each other, Sima eagerly telling her all about what she’d been reading lately.
Finally, a side door opened, followed by the sound of voices. Moments later, Tali and an eleven-year-old human girl walked into the kitchen.
“Jane! It’s so good to see you.” Tali hurriedly wiped her hands off before coming over to offer her a hug. “How was the trip? I’m sorry it took us so long to come in from the shop, we had to get that actuator put back together.”
“No worries. The trip was fine, we made good time.” Jane turned to offer Maddie a hug as well, reaching up to ruffle the girl’s blond curls. “How you doing, Mads? I think you’ve grown about a foot since we were here a few months ago.”
“I have not!” Maddie laughed as she batted Jane’s hand away playfully. “I’m really happy you’re here, Auntie Jane. I’m so excited to show you what I’ve been working on in the shop. Mom says you’re going to be really impressed.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” Jane said as she brought her hand to rest on the girl’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Maddie’s smile grew wider. Garrus entered then with a fully clothed David slung over his hip, prompting another round of excited greetings and hugs.
“Uncle Garrus said we can go build sand castles.” David chirped excitedly, and he bounced, causing Garrus to falter and bring up another arm to grip the boy.
“Whoa there, you’re going to be too big to hold like this soon.” Garrus laughed as he carefully put the excitedly vibrating child on the ground. “And I said we could build sand castles soon . I think we should think about lunch first,” He looked up at Jane, “if you and John are going to head out?”
“Yeah, it’s about an hour’s drive, so we’ll need to leave fairly soon if we’re going to get there and back before dinner.”
“How about I start fixing up lunch for everyone, and you get the bag packed with everything we need?” John asked as he opened the fridge and peeked inside.
“Sounds like a plan.”
The trip was quiet and uneventful as John and Jane made their way down the coast. They made this trip every year on this day, and they had it down to something of a science. Garrus and Tali would watch the kids for the rest of the afternoon until they got back just in time for dinner. Their conversation was sparse, consisting mostly of John boasting about his flower garden, and Jane discussing the newest addition to her model ship collection. When they weren’t talking, the radio filled in the silence.
“ In other news, the krogan Councilor has proposed a new measure to ensure peace with the rachni as they -“
“I’m still amazed by what a fantastic job Lilith has been doing as the krogan representative to the Council.” John mused as they flew over a small town down below.
“Her actual name is Chirke, not Lilith. That’s just what Mordin decided to call her before they entrusted us with their actual names.” Jane pointed out as she peered out at the clouds passing them by.
“Right, sorry.”
“Anyway, I’m not surprised. She’s always had a mind for politics and diplomacy. I’m glad the krogan got their chance to prove themselves on the world stage. She’s a good face for them. Very level headed and resourceful.”
“Very true.”
“ The National Museum at Serrice on Thessia has reported the theft of one of its more controversial artifacts, reports claim. An ancient figurine, thought to be that of a krogan fertility goddess, was reported missing yesterday, just weeks after krogan officials demanded its return to Tuchanka, claiming it to have been looted without their permission generations ago. The krogan have denied having anything to do with the theft, and the asari have yet to release further comment.”
Jane smirked as she listened to the report. Kasumi had been busy the past few years, and her ‘projects’ seemed to have been leaning in the direction of social justice as of late. At the very least, it was amusing and kept her out of trouble… for the most part.
When they arrived at their destination, John landed the skycar and popped the hatch. The weather was equally lovely here, but the gentle breeze carried different sensations here. The silence was nearly absolute, broken only by the distant sounds of a man crying softly.
They hopped out, and Jane carefully picked up the beautiful bouquet, tucking it under one arm as John grabbed the bag before shutting the door. They made their way through the parking area toward the large memorial standing amidst a lush, flowering garden. Low walls built in concentric rings radiated outwards from the statue in the middle of the garden.
She refused to let her eyes linger on the statue, instead letting them drift to the quiet people meandering through the gardens. Their gazes raked the small etchings made into the walls, looking for certain ones in particular. It was no easy feat, however, as the walls were almost entirely covered in the names of the dead. Millions of names covering dozens of walls. So many bodies were never found, and so many bodies were unidentifiable, that a small name on a memorial was all most people had left of their loved ones that had been lost in the war.
Jane looked away. At least there were people left alive to mourn the dead. That wouldn’t be the case if they hadn’t won against the Reapers.
She caught up as John made his way through the gardens. There were a few trees up ahead, planted around a small green patch that was adorned with one single grave. John stopped before it, his face sagging as if the weight of the war was sitting upon his shoulders once again.
“Hey, Anderson.” He whispered as Jane came to stand beside him, gently lowering the bouquet to the ground before the headstone. John put the bag down as well, and Jane wrapped her arm around him as she leaned into him. “We’re back, just like usual.”
“I can’t believe it’s been seven years already.” Jane sighed as she read the dates on the headstone. “Seven years exactly since the end of the war. Since Anderson…” She trailed off, her throat tightening.
“Since Anderson gave his life to protect all life in this galaxy. I never could have done it without him.” John stated forcibly, and Jane nodded.
“I know. I just miss him.”
“Me, too.”
They stood there in silence, each taking comfort in the other’s presence. The minutes ticked by until Jane finally sighed again and disentangled herself. “Shall we?”
“Seems as good a time as ever.” John nodded, and they both plopped down to sit side by side before Anderson’s gave. A gust of wind made the flower petals dance, and Jane couldn’t help but wonder if he was there with them in that moment.
John reached into the bag, and pulled out a flask. He handed it to Jane, who twisted the cap off before taking a sniff, smiling as she realized her brother hadn’t skimped.
“Maccallan, 20 year single malt scotch.” John preempted her question with a smug curl of his lips.
“Oh, the good stuff.” She murmured appreciatively, and he nodded.
“Only the best for Anderson.”
The tightness was back in her throat as Jane held the flask out before her at arms length. This never seemed to get any easier, no matter how much time passed.
“Here’s to you, Anderson.” With that, she poured out a measure into the grass, watching as it seeped into the soil. The whiskey shimmered on the tips of the grass, sparkling in the sun like unshed tears. Jane brought the flask to her lips and took a swig before passing it to her brother. John, too, took a long swig before offering it back to Jane.
They sat there like that, passing the flask back and forth for a minute or two before one of them spoke again.
“All of this was only possible because of him.” Jane pointed out, and John glanced at her before taking another sip.
“Yeah, I don’t think I could have handled the Illusive Man without him in the end.”
“No, I mean all of this. We never would have joined the Alliance without him.” Jane pointed out as she accepted the flask back and took a swig. “Then you never would have experienced that beacon on Eden Prime, we never would have known about the Reapers, and we never would have been able to stop Saren. The Reapers would have swept through the Citadel relay, and we’d all probably be dead, or worse, right now.”
John blinked, but nodded with a shrug, “True. Though I’m sure if we hadn’t figured it out, someone else would have.”
Jane snorted, jabbing him with an elbow, “You’re far too modest. It wasn’t us , it was you. And if not for you , then we all woulda been screwed.” John rolled his eyes and shoved her, sending her tipping over sideways as she laughed.
“Hey!” She exclaimed as she struggled to keep the flask upright. “Don’t spill the good stuff!” John offered her a hand and pulled her back up to sitting.
“I couldn’t have done any of it with you.” John said as he smiled at her, and it was Jane’s turn to shrug as she looked away.
“Well, we’ll never know. But we’re lucky to have had each other. It could have gone a lot worse.”
“Very true.” John said again as he accepted the flask again. There was another gap in the conversation for a minute or two until Jane switched to a lighter subject.
“So how much longer until you head back to Rannoch?”
“We’ll wait till it starts getting cooler. We usually peace out after Halloween, then we’ll spend the colder months at our home on Rannoch, and we’ll come back in late spring. Best of both worlds, literally!” John laughed as he tipped his face upwards, catching a brief ray of sunshine as it filtered through the leaves above. “I much prefer the warmer weather. My leg gets a bit stiff in the cold.” He rubbed his prosthetic, the ghost of past pain on his face for a brief moment.
“Yeah, I hear you there.” Jane stopped her hand from reaching over to rub her own prosthetic with a wince. “So, have you heard from anyone else recently?”
John nodded, “Yeah, I saw Miranda a few weeks ago for a checkup.” He patted his leg again, this time with a smile. “It’s good to see her using her considerable intellect to help people. Doctor Miranda, and all that.” They shared a laugh. “I got together with Jacob recently. They were in town, so we met up at a park and let the kids play, then got lunch. Family life suits him.”
“He’s not the only one.” Jane added, and he shrugged.
“It might not be glamorous, but I think it suits me.”
“Have you ever thought about coming out of retirement?” John looked over at her like she was crazy.
“What, and just pack my kids up and retake command of the Normandy? That would be utter insanity.” He chuckled at the mental image. “No, I think Captain Williams has the Normandy and her crew well in hand.”
“You know Ash would step aside in a heartbeat if it meant serving under you again,” Jane pointed out, but he shook his head.
“Perhaps, but that life is behind me now. I much prefer sustaining life in my garden than taking lives on the battlefield.” Jane couldn’t help but smile as she reached up to ruffle John’s hair. It had been a while since he’d kept it as short as he had in the Alliance, and it still felt weird. “Have you heard from EDI or Joker recently?”
“Yeah, they’re still on the Normandy. EDI, for obvious reasons, and Joker because I think they’ll have to pry his cold, dead hands off the controls in the end. But they’re doing well, last I heard. She’d pretty much back to her old self after everything that happened, and I think the Normandy just had a major overhaul not that long ago. It’s amazing how fast time has been flying recently.”
“How are Kaidan and Jack doing?” John asked as Jane trailed off, and she perked up. “You see them more often than we do. Are they still teaching?”
“Oh, they’re fine, and yes, they’re still teaching. And they’re getting married, I think.”
“Seriously? Are we talking about the same Jack?”
“Yeah, I think Kaidan even has her participating in the wedding planning, albeit begrudgingly. You should probably watch out for ‘save the date’ at some point in the future.”
“Huh. Jack’s getting married. Who woulda thought.” John shook his head. “Anyway… Well, Liara is still doing her thing, you know her.”
“Yeah. She’s passed me all sorts of information about the other teams in the league, it’s been fantastic. ‘Know your enemy’ and all that.”
“Jane!” John turned to stare at her in disbelief, but she just shrugged. “That’s illegal in some sports!”
“Well, it’s not illegal in the GSCL. At least not this sort of information. And if they make it illegal, then we’ll just get more clever about it.” John shook his head again as he rolled his eyes.
“ Anyway , did you know she and Javik have been writing a book? It’s all about the Protheans.”
“Wow, what a shocker.” Jane replied dryly, and John snorted.
“They’ve actually interviewed me a few times because of the cipher I have in my head, but I don’t know how much help I’ve actually been. None of it makes much sense to me. It’s not like I consciously understand any of it.” John trailed off as they passed the flask again.
“I heard from Vega recently.” Jane changed the topic after a moment, and he perked up in interest.
“Oh? How’s he doing?”
“Pretty well. He’s officially graduated as an N7, and he’s been promoted to Commander.”
“That’s fantastic, I’ll have to give him a call and congratulate him.” John grinned, his smile radiating with pride.
“He’d probably like that, he looks up to you. Speaking of hero worship, did you hear about Jenkins?”
“No, what happened? Is he okay?” John asked urgently, but she waved a hand to dispel his worries.
“He’s fine. He’s left the Alliance, though. Councilor Hackett asked him to come serve as his assistant, actually.”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah! I was surprised, too. But I guess Hackett sees potential in him. The military never was the right place for him. Deep down, he’s a gentle soul, I think.” She mused, and John nodded in agreement.
“That’s a good point. Huh. Little Rick Jenkins, going into politics. Can you imagine? Maybe someday we’ll see Councilor Jenkins .” They shared a laugh.
“Oh, and I ran into Zaeed on Illium a few weeks ago,” Jane continued, “and he’s doing well. I think he’s finally gotten over the whole Vido thing. Seems to have started something of a small business doing personal protection. Saw him trailing after some rich volus in the most ridiculous looking envirosuit.” She took a sip from the flask as John chuckled and then handed it back. “What about Mordin? Any word from him?”
“Last I heard, he’s been enjoying his retirement and relaxing at the beach.” He paused, “At least, as much as he ever relaxes. He just released a research paper about mollusk genetic attributes in relation to similar organisms throughout the galaxy.” They shared a laugh. “No word from Samara, but I think she’s just doing her justicar thing. Wrex is doing well, or at least as well as a man can be with about a few dozen or so kids. I hear Grunt is a pretty good uncle, though.”
“Tuchanka has gotta be a madhouse with all those kids popping out. At least Wrex has Bakara to keep him in line. I’m sure they’ll be good parents.”
“That they will.” John took a small sip from the flask before looking down at it and and giving it a gentle shake. “Last sip?” He offered it to Jane, who took it with a pensive look on her face.
“Speaking of parents, any luck on the search?” John looked down and shook his head.
“No, not really. Overcrowding was such a problem around that time, and with the illnesses that swept through and all the deaths… Well, I don’t think documentation was what it should have been. Not in that part of the city, at least. No one really cared about people who couldn’t afford a proper burial.”
“I figured as much. As much as I’d like to find our parent’s graves, it’s not that big of a deal. This is the one that means the most to me.” She took the last sip of the whiskey and gestured to the grave they sat before.
“Still, I did track down the contact information for someone who might be able to point me in the right direction, if I ever hear back from them, so not all is lost. I would like to pay proper respect at some point. You might not remember them, but they were good people.”
“I suppose so,” Jane muttered with a shrug, then stood up, dusting the grass from her pants. “Come on, let’s walk this drink off so we can head home. Best not to keep them all waiting too long.” She offered him a hand, which he accepted gratefully.
“See you next year, Anderson.” John said as they took one last look at the gravestone before turning and walking off into the maze of low, inscribed walls.
Their path was the same one they took every year. There were a number of names they stopped to view, friends and comrades they’d lost to that awful war. Maelon had his own little plaque, donated by the krogans, as did Thane, even though he died peacefully some time after the war’s end. There was even a small memorial devoted to those that had died on the Normandy SR1, which always made Jane smile sadly.
“Speaking of family,” John began as they walked, his hands shoved in his pockets, “What about you and Garrus? Any plans on adopting a few rugrats of your own? I bet Wrex would let you have a few of his.” Jane rolled her eyes and looked away.
“I dunno, John. I don’t really think I’m the mothering type.” She grunted as her eyes roamed over the names of the dead as she walked.
“I think anyone can be if they choose to be.”
“Yeah, maybe. Being an aunt is easy . I show up, have some fun with them, and then hand them back to you when things get sticky. But being completely and utterly responsible for the life and wellbeing of another… I don’t know, John.” Jane’s feet paused as she looked down at the ground. “I never had any parents. I don’t know the first thing about being a good parent.”
“You don’t need to have had good parents to be a good parent.” John whispered as he paused beside her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “If you and Garrus don’t want kids, then that’s a perfectly fine reason not to have kids. But if you do, don’t let fear of the unknown stop you.”
Jane sighed as she closed her eyes, tilting her face up to bask in the sun’s warmth. She knew Garrus wanted kids. He’d brought it up gently a few times, and she’s always managed to defer the conversation for another time. Not because she didn’t want kids, but because she honestly had no idea how to be a parent. She’d watched John figure it out, sure, but John seemed like a natural. She, on the other hand, would not be a natural, she was sure of it.
Jane had spent her entire life killing and destroying for a living. How was she supposed to turn that around and instantly become a nurturer instead? What child would want her as its mother?
“Look, Jane…” John began again, his voice earnest and raw, “Becoming a parent… It’s not easy and it’s not for the faint of heart. But it’s also one of the most rewarding and amazing experiences life can offer. If you both decide to give it a shot, you’d never be in it alone. You have me and Tali to help support you, along with this giant, crazy family of ours. All of our friends and the people who served with us, we’re all family. We wouldn’t leave you to figure this all out on your own.”
Jane opened her eyes and turned to look at her brother, her throat clenching again as she fought an unexpected wave of emotion. John gripped both her shoulders before pulling her in for a hug.
“And you don’t need to be perfect. No one is. But if you love each other, and you love your kids, that’s enough to get started.” He whispered as he held her tightly. Jane felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. “Yes, sometimes it’s incredibly hard and painful, and sometimes you don’t know what to do. But you figure it out as you go along, and it’s okay to not always have the answers.”
Jane leaned into her brother, her arms coming up around him as the tears began to tickle down her cheeks. This trip was always full of emotions, both good and bad, and brought up a lot of feelings from unexpected areas. These fears and concerns had been slowly building the last few years as they warred with expectations and desires. She shouldn’t be surprised that they’d come to the surface while she was already feeling raw and vulnerable.
But John’s words were like a soothing balm, a catharsis she hadn’t realized how badly she’d needed.
“Raising children is full of the lowest lows, yes. But also the highest highs. I’ve never been as happy, proud, or loved as I have been because of my children. If that’s something you want in your life, you shouldn’t let these fears stop you. You’ll be a good mother, Jane, if that’s what you want to be.”
Her tears were silent, a gentle purging of the tension that had gripped her with unseen fists for the past few years. John rubbed her back as she calmed and pulled away, wiping the tears from her eyelashes as she took a deep breath.
“Thanks. I needed to hear that.” She murmured with a sigh, and he smiled.
“It’s my pleasure.” He paused before his smile morphed into a playful grin. “Plus, they say you really only need to be ‘good enough’ to raise a good kid. At the very least, I’m sure you can manage ‘good enough’.”
John grunted as Jane’s foot connected hard with his prosthetic leg, kicking it out from under him. He hit the ground as Jane looked down at him with an amused lift to her eyebrow.
“Jackass.” She said affectionately as she offered him a hand once again, and he glowered at her before accepting it. He didn’t release it, however, once he was standing, and they continued off through the memorial gardens, hand in hand.
It was just about dinner time by the time they made it back home. The stars were sparkling overhead, reflecting off the calm, glassy sea like scattered glitter. Excited voices greeted them as they stepped through the door, and three cheerful children lept at them soon after.
Once they’d eaten, Jane looked across the table at Garrus, who caught her eye. With a small toss of her head, she gestured towards the door, and he nodded carefully, his eyes curious. With a few quick words, they excused themselves, hardly noticed in the wake of the beginnings of a meltdown by David.
Jane lead Garrus toward the door and out onto the porch, sighing contentedly as the door shut on the ever-increasing volume of the little boy’s screeches.
“I thought the tantrums would be easier to handle now that he can talk so much better, but boy was I wrong…” Garrus grumbled as he rubbed his temples, and Jane chuckled.
“They always warn you about the ‘terrible twos’, but it’s ‘threenagers’ that they should warn you about. John said that at least when they’re two, they misbehave because they don’t know any better. But when they’re three, they do know better, and still choose to do it, anyway.”
“Ah, yeah, that explains a lot.” Garrus nodded as Jane sat down on the porch swing and patted the spot beside her. As he fell into his seat, she leaned into him, and he brought an arm around her.
There had been a time when their bodies felt oddly mismatched, but that had been long ago. Now they molded together like an old favorite pair of shoes, their bodies instantly remembering all the most comfortable spots without thought.
“So,” Jane began hesitantly, an old anxiety licking at her core as she fought it down, “Seeing David like this, does it give you second thoughts about wanting kids?”
Garrus was silent as he mulled the question over. After a moment, he turned his head just enough for one bright blue eye to look down at her with consideration, his expression schooled to blankness.
“No…” He trailed off, but she could hear a low, discordant harmony in his subvocals that tugged at her heart. “Jane, if you don’t want children, it’s okay. We don’t need to-“
“That’s not it.” Jane cut in over him as she sat up, pulling away from the warmth of his embrace. She took a breath, hoping the fears would flow out with the air from her lungs. “I’m sorry I’ve danced around that conversation for so long. I’ve put it off and avoided it, but not because I don’t want to have kids with you.”
Jane turned to look at him and placed a hand on his thigh as she met his eyes, willing him to understand.
“I’m not sure I can be a good parent. I’m not sure I know how. I’m a lot of things, but ‘nurturing and gentle’ are not really in my skill set yet. But when we get back home, I think I’m finally ready to have that conversation. If you’re still willing to.”
Garrus’ eye widened in surprise, and they darted between both of hers as he searched her face. He remained silent as he processed her statement, but slowly his mandibles flared and his subvocals hummed with a quiet, steady hope.
“I’d like that.” He murmured before turning to take both her hands in his. “I’d love to start a family with you, Jane. And I’m nervous, too. I’m not sure I want to be the kind of father mine was to me. But we can figure it out together, if you’re up for it.”
Jane cursed her watering eyes even as she smiled. She refused to cry twice in one day. Together they leaned forward, their foreheads pressing together with a soft, firm pressure that Jane had come to treasure over the years.
What had she done to deserve this man? She would never know, but every day she thanked whatever being put him in her path. It had been a long, difficult road that had landed her here, living this life with this man. But she wouldn’t change it for the world.
“Thank you, Garrus.” She whispered, unsure if she was referring to anything in particular. She was grateful for all of it, the big things and the small things. He’d saved her life over and over, and he’d been there when she’d needed him most again and again. It was impossible to put words to the feelings in her chest, so she didn’t bother. She’d tried before, and she would try again later.
They had the whole future together to figure out how to show their love. Maybe they would adopt some kids, maybe they’d get their own picturesque country home, maybe they’d grow old together, and together they could discover what comes next.
But for right now, this… His presence, his hands, his warmth, his love… This was enough.
The next morning, Jane came down early to find Tali brewing a pot of levo coffee.
“Ah, I thought I heard someone of the human variety moving around up there.” She said as she opened a cupboard and pulled out a mug. “The kids are still asleep, so we have a few minutes of blessed calm.”
“Perfect.” Jane yawned as Tali poured the coffee and handed her the mug. “Hmmm, perfect, thank you.” She took a careful sip and sighed happily. “Actually, this might be the perfect time. I’ve made some progress with the codes, and I’d like to see if it helps at all.”
“Oh?” Tali asked with a slight, curious cock of her helmeted head.
“Yeah, can we head out to the shop?”
“Of course.” Tali turned and headed toward the door. Passing through it, the two women picked their way around the various projects stored in Tali’s overflowing workshop. They stopped in the back corner before a small worktable where the body of a single geth lay, dark and unmoving.
All the geth had been like this, completely unresponsive, since the end of the war. Most of them had been gathered up and brought back to Rannoch where they were being kept in storage. But this one was special. It had a gaping hole through its body which had been patched by an old, discarded piece of N7 armor.
“Hey, Legion. Good to see you,” Jane sighed as she surveyed the body before her. She put the mug down and pulled up her omni-tool, flicking through the UI until she arrived at her destination. “I don’t know if this will work at all. I’ve been working on the coding since the last time we were here a few months ago. But I think I’m finally heading in the right direction.”
“We’ll have to compare notes. I haven’t had time to fiddle with the code at all, but I think I have some ideas on the hardware side of things.” Tali mused as she watched closely, a hand brought up to her chin. “Something has got to work. I can’t accept that they’re all just dead.”
“I know. Me, too.” Jane found the correct version and looked up at Tali. “You ready?” She nodded, and Jane gave a wave of her omni-tool in Legion’s direction.
They waited with bated breath, both of them leaning in. For a long moment, nothing happened.
Then, a small dot of light, dim but distinct, flashed to life. It danced up a single sinew of the geth’s body before fading from view.
“Did you see that?” Tali asked hurriedly as she turned to look at Jane with tense excitement. Jane nodded eagerly as she reached for her sister-in-law, pulling her in for a jubilant hug.
“I did! I can’t believe that worked. There’s still life in there, somewhere.” Jane exclaimed before letting the other woman go, turning back to gaze happily at Legion. “There’s still hope.”
All she needed was a little time. And with the Reapers defeated, they had all the time in the world.
-The End-
Notes:
I can't believe it's done. This has been my heart and soul for the last two years, and I'm so excited to have completed it. It was my goal to have this done by the end of 2023, and here we are, squeaking in at the last moment. Thank you so much to all my readers, to everyone who has left a kudos or comment, and especially to those who have reached out to show support through this process. This past year has been a challenge for me, and I am very grateful to all of you.
An extra special thank you to my beta reader, thelordofdarkreunion, who has been an amazing friend and support throughout this process, and to all my friends and fellow writers on Discord. You have all been amazing and inspiring, and I don't think this would have been finished without you.
And finally, thank you to my wonderful family. My spouse and my son have been my rocks and have helped make this fic possible. I love you both, and dedicate this work to you.
If you enjoyed this story, please take a moment to let me know, either by leaving a kudos or a comment. It is appreciated more than you know.
I'm currently working on another Mass Effect fanfiction project, one which has been marinating in my brain for over a year now. The planning process is well underway, and I hope to begin writing now that this one is over. It might be a bit of a wait, as I hope to write part 1 before sharing it here, but if you would like to be informed when the time comes, please consider subscribing to hear about it immediately.
Thank you again, and I hope you all have a happy New Year.
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