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Dolores pressed her hands tight to her ears.
It was so loud in their Casita tonight.
It was always like that every five years, as she was told. While most of the birthdays were quiet family affairs, the milestone birthdays were always grand events.
The last time they had such a party at Casita was when her mamá, tía Julieta and tío Bruno turned thirty and Dolores was barely a few months old then, so she didn’t remember the party, nor the noise.
But now it was the day of Abuela’s sixty birthday which meant that almost the whole village came to their casa to celebrate.
People were dancing, laughing, and singing. The rustle of fabric, the drumming of steps, their laughs and the tunes that were played by the band - it was all overwhelming.
Dolores was still getting used to her gift, and living with super-hearing was hard, especially when there were so many people and when everything was so loud and tiring.
Truth be told, Dolores had never been a fan of big parties. She didn’t like the crowds and loud music even before her gift ceremony. It just made her feel really uncomfortable, but at least she hadn’t had any headaches back then.
But now, after she excused herself from playing with Isabela and little Luisa, she wanted to escape the hustle. She tried to use her earmuffs but they didn’t work as well as always in a crowd of so many people.
Dolores looked around.
She saw her mamá and papá - they were dancing in the middle of the courtyard - laughing and moving to the music, her papá’s hold on his wife gentle since her mamá was going to have a baby. She was going to be a big sister, like Isabela was to Luisa.
Dolores winced when some men from their village clanked their glasses loudly and raised a toast in her Abuela’s name. The sound of glass clashing together was a little too much for her.
She hurried into the crowd, manoeuvring between dancing people, which wasn’t hard since she was rather small and could easily slip between their bodies, mostly unnoticed.
Her little feet led her all the way to the kitchen where her tía Julieta was placing some treats on the plate in a shape that looked like a pyramid she saw in her books given to her by tío Agustín on her last birthday.
Hands still pressed to her ears, she moved forward and climbed on the stool near her tía, leaning on her elbows on the table.
The older woman turned her head to look at her, a soft smile on her lips as she tapped her on her nose. “It’s a little loud, isn’t it?”
Dolores nodded, taking one hand off her right ear. “My head’s hurting.”
“Ay,” tía Julieta put the plate down, then touched Dolores’s cheek and the girl looked up at her. “Have you told your mamá?”
She shook her head. “She’s having fun with papá. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“She wouldn’t be angry. She loves you very much and she’d do everything to make you comfortable.”
“Lo sé,” she whispered, slowly uncovering her other ear and wincing when someone yelled another birthday wishes for her Abuela. “Why does my gift have to be so stupid?”
Her tía clicked her tongue and handed her one cocada - Dolores’s personal favourite for the last few weeks. “Your gift isn’t stupid, amor,” she said, encouraging her to eat the snack. “You can do so many good things using it. It’s just hard to adjust. Your tío Bruno and mamá needed some time before they took control over theirs, you know?”
Dolores hummed, then bit into the cocada and in a few short seconds her headache lessened, although the sounds still made her wince, and it made her nervous in turn, speeding her heart in her chest, unnerving her more in the process.
“Still hurting?”
“No,” she sighed, taking another bit. “But it’s still too loud and my heart beats so loud too and– it’s so much.”
Julieta leaned on her hip on the table Dolores was sitting at and put her plate away softly, as to not disturb her any more. “Have you ever tried focusing on one sound?”
Dolores nodded. “I have but it’s hard too. And I lose my focus all the time. It’s the worst when something loud surprises me because I can’t focus back after something like that.”
“Hmm,” the older woman furrowed her eyebrows. “And have you tried focusing on one sound to calm yourself down?”
“I tried listening to music. Or crickets. Or water but… It didn’t work.”
She smiled softly. “What about listening to heartbeat?”
Dolores blinked at her, her big eyes imploring. “Heartbeat?”
“Sí,” her tía leaned forward and lowered her voice to the whisper, her eyes twinkling. “You see, when I’m nervous or upset, I hug your tío Agustín and listen to his heartbeat. It always calms me down but don’t tell anybody! It will be our secret.”
Dolores beamed at her, showing all her remaining teeth in a big smile. “I won’t,” she raised her hand and curled her pinky. Julieta smiled at her and locked their pinkies together. “I promise, tía,” she added, then hummed. “But whose heartbeat will be the best to listen to? Mami and papi’s heartbeats are often so quick, it’s unnerving.”
Julieta chuckled but Dolores could tell she also rolled her eyes a little, before answering. “It has to be someone calm, and adult preferably, their heartbeats are slower than the children’s.”
Dolores blinked at her. “So… I should listen to your heart, then?” at her raised eyebrow, Dolores continued. “I had heard it a few times before and it always was so calm because you’re never angry. Your heartbeat is perfect to listen to!”
“Really?”
“Sí!” Dolores said with a smile and put her palm on the table. “It always goes like that–” she said and closed her eyes, focusing, starting a little rhythm she memorised by now, listening to her tía’s heart at the same time.
Thump-thumpthump-thump-thumpthumpthump–
There was something wrong.
She opened her eyes, concern all over her face as she looked at her tía.
Julieta looked back at her, a worry now visible on her face too. “Something’s wrong?”
Dolores looked at the woman’s chest. “There’s something weird with your heart. It’s so fast and irregular.”
Julieta blinked, putting one hand where her heart was. A few seconds later, she frowned. “It feels just normal to me, are you sure it’s mine?”
Dolores closed her eyes again and listened, tapping a soft rhythm on the table. “It sounds like that,” she whispered, continuing the soft tapping. But then she focused more and– “But there are two sounds at the same time. Do you have two hearts?”
Dolores heard a soft gasp and when she opened her eyes, tía Julieta’s mouth was formed in a shape of an O, her eyes wide and staring at Dolores.
She gulped. “Did I say something…?”
It seemed to pull the woman out from her state as she shook her head, playing with her fingers nervously. “Can you listen again and tell me where you hear it, exactly?”
Dolores obliged and focused again, now really hard. All the other sounds faded as she tried to keep her mind and her hearing on her tía standing before her and soon enough, she realised that there weren’t two hearts in her chest, but one was lower, in her stomach, and it was beating much faster than the one that was higher. It was also quieter.
She opened her eyes and gestured at Julieta’s stomach. “It’s there.”
It was her tía’s turn to squeak and Dolores almost laughed because she had never heard a sound like that from her but then she saw the shocked expression on her face and at the same time, she remembered something.
“Uh, mami sounds similar,” she said quietly. “She has two heartbeats too, one is the baby’s,” then her eyes widened and she looked up. “You’re having a baby too?!”
Her tía’s finger touched her lips quickly, shushing her immediately and Julieta smiled at her. “Probably,” she said in a whisper, still looking a little disbelieving. “Sonaja, can you keep it a secret too? Just you and me?”
Dolores was confused. “Why?”
“Because you tío Agustín has a birthday soon and I wanna surprise him.”
Her eyes widened and twinkled as she gasped. “I love surprises!”
Which was hard nowadays to do with her super hearing. She still remembered how her parents tried to surprise her with a brand new dress they were creating for her for a few weeks unaware that she heard their conversations about it. But even with the surprise spoilt, she was happy to get that gift. It was her favourite dress now.
“I take it as sí?”
“Sí!” she exclaimed happily, bouncing on her seat.
Her tía bend down and kissed her forehead, then both her cheeks and tapped her on the nose. “Te amo mucho, Lola.”
She answered with a smile. “But I can still listen to your heartbeat?”
Julieta’s smile was warm and kind. “Anytime, sonaja. But– find another one to listen to if it gets too quick, okay?”
Dolores squeaked. “Okay.”
She didn’t ask why. She didn’t like it when the heartbeat got too quick anyway - it was so loud and unnerving then.
Yet as Dolores rested her chin on her arms on the table, while her tía came back to preparing the plate, she couldn’t help but listen to her calm and steady heartbeat, accompanied by the softer and quicker one - but not unnerving at all.
Julieta's heartbeat, she would decide years later, was the best to listen to and the only one that managed to always relax her.