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"You've got to stop saving my life. It's getting embarrassing." Clark shifted positions, trying to get comfortable on the cracked pavement. From the way the fight was going, it was going to be a while. “At this point, I think it may just be better to fake my own death.”
Batman, with his accustomed eloquence, grunted in response as he shot down another drone.
"I'm serious!” hissed Clark. “Do you know what Lois asked me last week?" Clark cleared his throat and said in a ridiculous falsetto “Clark, if you’re going to get held hostage again you better at least get a statement from Batman. Dating is no excuse to miss out on a story, If you can get the guy then you can get an interview, Smallville."
Against his will, Bruce’s lips twitched. It had been an odd series of events, an odder villain, and a close call with secret identities that had led them to this situation. For once, the villain of the week wasn’t targeting Superman, they were targeting Clark Kent. It was sheer bad luck that Batman had been tracking that same villain after he had murdered reporters in Gotham City, and had ended up following that trail to Clark Kent. Specifically, Clark in front of a dozen cameras accepting an award for journalism with no way to disguise his significant lack of death in the face of a dozen drone assassins.
If the murder attempt had gone through, it would have revealed Superman's identity to the world. Batman had had no choice but to step in, creating enough cover and chaos for it to look like Clark had gotten lucky. That should have been the end of it. It was not.
Unfortunately, this villain was proving hard to capture and surprisingly good at dodging both Batman and Superman. Worse still, Clark had caught the public's attention, never a good thing for a reporter, whose main job was to direct attention to other things and people, never themselves, worse still for a reporter/superhero whose identity was suddenly under close scrutiny.
It had been weeks of attacks targeting clumsy reporter Clark Kent, and weeks of playing damsel-in-distress to Batmans knight-in-shining-armor. Clark had found it kinda funny at first but a photo of Clark and Batman pressed close and the headline “Hostage Situation Turned Into Romantic Date” had drained the humor dry.
It made a good story. Before Clark could stop it the headline migrated from gossip rags to serious, well-respected papers. The headlines were a little more discrete, a little less willing to state speculation as fact, but the picture was undeniably suggestive.
That alone was enough for the uninformed masses to decide that Clark Kent and Batman were deeply in love. The worst part was that Clark could still remember the conversation they had been having when that photo was taken.
They had been arguing. Batman was being bull-headed as ever and Clark was starting to get antsy from getting sidelined in his own city. Bruce had pulled him back from the fighting when someone snapped that photo, proving Batman right (much to Clark's chagrin) about the watching cameras and further cementing Clark's humiliation.
One of the flying spiderlike drones made an attempt at Clark's life. He watched it with anticipation, if it hit him then it wouldn’t be his fault if he got involved and Batman wouldn’t be able to say anything about it. Much to his disappointment, it was intercepted by a Batarang. Clark frowned at the sparking drone as it crashed near him. “I expected better from these drones. Looks like whatever upgrade they got didn’t account for Bat reflexes.”
Bruce gave him A Look. You’d think that would be difficult with the mask, the fighting, and the distance but Clark had excellent eyesight, Batman was a fantastic multitasker, and Clark had been getting enough Looks from Batman to get depressingly familiar with them.
"Stay down." Bruce said tersely.
Clark ignored him with all the practice of a very nosey reporter. He nudged it carefully with his finger. “Have you gotten any closer to figuring out what this stuff is?”
“No.” Bruce’s displeasure was obvious. “More samples should speed things up.”
Clark glanced up at the helicopter. “I could-” he said hopefully.
“No. Too many cameras, not enough cover.” Bruce said with audible disdain as if a well-lit, open city was an architectural flaw that someone needed to correct. Clark rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, unfortunately, no one factored in the need for shadowy corners when they made these buildings. Truly another way Gotham is superior to Metropolis.” Clark was generous with his sarcasm.
Batman managed to shoot down the last drone in a way that conveyed his thoughts on Clark's comments, a feat which Clark was begrudgingly impressed by.
"Police should be able to wrap up the clean-up. If you could last until tonight without getting held hostage in plain view, that would be helpful." Batman said in a monotone as he pulled out his grappling hook and sped off into the sky leaving Clark sputtering with indignation.
"You say that as if I'm doing it on purpose!" Clark muttered but got no answer, he hadn’t really been expecting one.
Sirens approached, Clark gave one last desolate poke to the murdered drone.
As the police flooded the scene he sighed. It had been a long week and seemed to be getting longer by the minute.