Chapter 1: Not Today
Chapter Text
Basil had, with few exceptions, worn the same formal sweatervest and shorts for the past four years; they were meant to be worn at Mari and Sunny's recital. For a few short days after being released from the hospital, he put on his old, more casual clothes, but that came to a stop once it was time for his grandmother’s funeral. He’d opted for a black vest and finely-pressed white shirt with a hyacinth, her favorite, tucked into his hair instead of the typical flower clip. It was similar to his old outfit, just more subdued. It fit the occasion well.
An uncharacteristic chill hung in the air as Basil walked briskly through the streets of Faraway. Grey clouds obscured the late morning sun, as though the sky had briefly ceased its usual routine to pay tribute to the dearly departed. The same thing had happened back then, at Mari’s funeral. A familiar pang of guilt and self-loathing tugged at Basil’s heart, but he pressed past it. At the very least, there was now a sense of freedom alongside the chill in the air - now everyone knew what a terrible person he was. Basil mulled over the days following his grandmother’s death - he thought back to last night, when he’d once again found himself hunched over the toilet, his throat filled with bile following yet another bad dream.
But now, there was no kind touch from Grandma to guide him back to bed. And there never would be again.
Leaves dotted the sidewalk as Basil moved, hands in his pockets and his gait unusually determined. He didn’t let his limp from the fight distract him, or at least tried to. Today wasn’t about him - he had to keep going. This was what she’d have wanted, after all. He briefly wondered if she’d feel the same way if she knew the truth that Sunny had revealed at the hospital, nearly a week ago. His best friend - it felt so wrong to call him that, after all Basil had done to him - was still undergoing treatment for his eye. And there was that pang again.
Basil had been put on suicide watch, given mandatory therapy, and was briefly released for the funeral and its preparations. Hopefully those therapy sessions would be enough to make him into someone who, at the very least, wasn’t a danger to everyone around him. That was quite enough for Basil; he didn't deserve this, but other people still had to put up with him, so it was for the best that he got better.
Where would Basil even start, though? Had the doctor already been informed of his crimes, or would he have to confess personally? After four years of mounting pressure, forced to confront his guilt in his dreams, he’d been about ready to finally break, anyways. It had been one of the many reasons he locked himself in his room on that night.
Basil twisted his fingers uncomfortably. Dreams were a funny thing. They'd spoken forbidden truths in his ears, suggesting that Sunny had been behind the photos and... killed Mari. He only wished that he had listened sooner; even now, after Basil had heard it (repeatedly) from the man himself, it was strange to think about Sunny as an imperfect, human entity rather than some kind of imaginary messiah. And, regardless of who Sunny really was, he still had to move.
Even if Basil logically knew he’d have to be able to live life without Sunny, it hurt that he was going to go away. Perhaps it’s for the best. A voice nagged at the back of Basil’s mind. You can’t hurt him any more than you already have if he’s living in the City, right?
But... if Sunny was too far away, Basil wouldn’t be able to speak with him, or play with him, or stay up late reading with him, or sit in comfortable silence with him, or be able to cherish that rare smile with him, or- he stopped himself. Focus on what’s at hand. He steadied his breathing, remembering Mari’s advice whenever he got too anxious: “It’s not as scary as you think!” For a moment, he again wondered if he was even deserving of her words, but calmed himself down nonetheless. He promised himself he would talk about all this with his therapist at their first session.
Now glancing at the slight, dark grass-covered hill to his left, Basil admired the trees swaying gently in the wind. It was an idyllic sight, made better by the now-nostalgic houses of his hometown surrounding this sidewalk. If he had his camera, he’d have stopped to try and take a picture - he preferred photographing people, but wasn’t a stranger to documenting nature. He hadn’t used the camera in a few years, though, and had a feeling he wouldn’t have people to photograph for a long, long time. Even Polly, paid to care for him, wouldn’t and shouldn’t stick around after all the hurt he had put her through.
That voice in the back of Basil’s mind expressed relief at this; he couldn’t burden his friends if he had none, right? He was snapped out of his Sunny-like reverie when he heard multiple sets of loud, quick footsteps approaching. He hadn’t noticed them until they were practically breathing down his neck, and he chastised himself for his inattentiveness - after all he’d done, now he was going to slow down innocent travelers on the sidewalk, too?
Basil stopped and turned, yet another one of his seemingly limitless apologies already on his tongue; it went dry when he saw who was following him. At the head of the group was an all-too-familiar pink-haired girl, holding a baseball bat studded with nails. She was flanked by the Hooligang - the silent giant Charlene, loud brat Angel, smaller Kim and her larger brother Vance, and The Maverick™. Some sick sense of familiarity washed over Basil.
Being kneed in the stomach, where it always hurt most, met with his first friend’s bat when he looked up, held down and robbed, relentlessly taunted. Months of this, because he couldn’t admit that Sunny wasn’t perfect and that he’d been the one to black out the photo album. Basil flinched instinctually.
For so long, Basil had never fought back, because he knew he deserved every moment of it. Even though Aubrey wasn’t doing it for the right reasons, he thought she was still a good person. When he’d fallen into the lake, letting his breath out, he hoped that, even though Sunny’s secret could never come out, Aubrey would know she’d done the right thing. That she wouldn’t blame herself for the accident the way his best friend had. In hindsight, his death would have made everything worse. Before he spiralled again, he tried to focus on the situation at hand.
The expression on Aubrey’s face was indecipherable for a moment, being somewhere between unmitigated fury and shame. Basil knew he probably looked like he was staring death in the eyes, which he may as well be. The rest of the hooligans appeared to be sad, scared, or both - why was that? She lowered the bat from her shoulders, letting it hang at her side. Though it had only been seconds, Basil felt sweat trickling down the side of his face, slightly dampening his blond hair. After an apparent eternity, Aubrey spoke. “...Hey.” In contrast to her typically loud, confident and brash tone, it was quiet. Meek, almost, closer to how Basil or even Sunny would speak.
“H-h-hello?” Basil phrased it sort of like a question, immediately cringing at the triple stutter. Now that Aubrey knew the truth, he was certain all remorse she seemed to have showcased during that night had disappeared. Waking up to a sobbing Aubrey, stunned Kel and silent Hero told him all he needed to know about what Sunny said, not to mention the brief rant she’d gone on before running out. A dark thought crossed his mind - perhaps she was here to finish the job he’d failed at, then. But, for once, though he still knew the pain was what he deserved, he couldn’t allow it. Not today - when he’d lied about being a good person to his grandmother, lied in her final days by telling her the bullies had all apologized and his grades were looking up, he couldn’t disrespect her again by not even showing up to her funeral.
Aubrey opened her mouth to speak, but Basil, for once, cut her off. After she’d slowly realized Sunny wasn’t delirious, then stormed out of the hospital room while beginning to cry, he hadn’t seen her since. It was an awkward reunion, to be sure. “...Please.” His voice was quieter than usual, and it was already fairly small compared to his other friends’. It did no favors for him when he tried to convince people around him that he was, in fact, a man.
“What?” Now, Aubrey’s face shifted to confusion, and the hooligans looked away awkwardly, unsure what to do with their eyes. They’d literally just shown up and the blond flower boy in front of them already seemed to be on the verge of tears, though that was about par for the course.
“N-not today. Please, just leave me alone for today. I-I have to get to my grandma’s funeral…” Now he regretted letting Polly go ahead to help with preparations. Basil clasped his hands in front of him, eyes still visually dissecting the cracks in the sidewalk. His feet shifted uncomfortably, and he seemed to shudder a little - not just due to the cold he was severely underdressed for. “Tomorrow’s fine, but I want to be left alone for one day.” His voice grew desperate as he finally looked up. Most of the hooligans now wore expressions of pity and sorrow. He felt their eyes wandering over his extensive injuries.
“We’re not here to mess with you!” Kim piped up, taking a step forward; in turn, Basil took an instinctive step backward. “Whoa, easy there.” She raised her hands reassuringly, trying to give him a smile that looked unnatural, but genuine on her usually scowling face. “Honest. Aubs and us just wanna talk to you.”
Basil’s nervous, wide eyes flicked between each member of the group. “A-about what?” His hands at his sides jittered, and he wished he’d brought pepper spray like when Sunny had saved him at the lake. In all his years of being picked on, he’d never just… had a conversation with the hooligans. If he ran into one on his own, it would be awkward silence with Angel or Charlie, the former having enough humility to know he’d get his middle schooler ass beat while the latter just didn’t care; the others would elbow him or try to rile him up. However, the best they could do was make him cry. Aubrey’s behavior hurt the worst - she’d just glare at the space ahead, filling the air with a not just awkward, but simultaneously hateful quiet.
The Hooligang looked to their leader expectantly, as though they’d planned this. Aubrey closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and seeming to steel her nerves. “...I’m sorry.”
“We’re all sorry.” Vance added, the other hooligans nodding solemnly.
Before the shock of what had just been said could even set in for Basil, The Maverick™ continued, “The boss told us that your grandma died, and she felt bad for how we’ve been treating you.” For effect, he even took off his wig, revealing his dark mop of natural hair.
“We also heard you and Knife Boy got hurt…” Kim gestured at the injuries on Basil’s face, and he flinched involuntarily. These were nothing compared to Sunny’s eye. His friend had assured him it was fine, but he knew that it would never heal. There would be no depth perception, driving, or living life normally for him now, all because, once again, Basil had tried to “protect” him and screwed it up.
“L-look.” It was one of those few times Aubrey was the one stuttering. She composed herself again. “The way I treated you was inexcusable. You don’t have to forgive me. My reasons, they…” And again, she took a deep breath. “They were all so stupid . And I almost killed you at the lake - you and Sunny.” The hooligans didn’t seem shocked, just ashamed they’d been treating a clearly suffering kid like this. They were unsure of what the boss’ reasons had been, but knew that, apparently, they didn’t justify what had happened. Aubrey, barely holding it together, kept going. Basil could scarcely believe his ears by this point, but this wasn’t too special after all the insane things that had happened to him. “I know you might not forgive me, and that’s fine, but my friends were just following me. I told them to treat you like a friend, and do what they can to protect you. It’s the least I can do, right?” She gave a forced, wobbly smile, looking a stunned Basil in the eyes.
What had he done to deserve this? “S-so, I still don’t, ah, forgive you, for obvious reasons.” Aubrey’s grip on her bat tightened as she spoke. “But we won’t give you shit anymore, and can maybe see the hooligans as friends, you know? And… despite everything, I can’t bring myself to hate you, especially not after all I put you through. I don’t ask for your forgiveness, I just want you to know we’re not going to hurt you anymore.” Basil’s eyes drifted over the entire, remorseful group. He knew that, every time he saw a member, his mind would go back to those late nights nursing bruises and thinking about everything he’d done wrong. Stop. You don’t have a right to withhold forgiveness or friendship(? A terrible idea, but if that was what they really wanted...) for anyone. He chastised himself mentally and gave a tired smile.
“N-no worries, Aubrey!” Basil hoped he could lessen her strange, unjustified guilt. “I never held it against any of you in the first place!” He laughed a little, but it was forced. The response elicited a very confused reaction from the hooligans.
“...Okay then." Kim rubbed her nose and an awkward silence hung in the air for a few moments.
“Well, uh. Anyways. Do you want us to go around town, get people to stop the bullying?” The Maverick™’s knuckle cracking was interrupted by Basil.
“No. I think you’ve done too much damage to fix.” He replied dryly, looking at the ground. He’d grown used to the harassment, but he still didn’t like it. For a moment, an awkward silence filled the air before he let out a dry sob and collapsed to his knees, sitting on the hillside as his eyes watered.
“I-I… I’m so sorry. I h-have no right to say things l-l-like that…” Basil covered his face with his hands. I don’t deserve this. I don’t have the right to their pity.
“What do you mean?” Aubrey hurried over, her old, Mari-esque habits kicking into gear as she crouched next to the shaking mess of a blond in front of her. The Hooligang slowly approached, unsure of what to do but thinking of ways to provide sympathy while also being confused as to why he didn’t feel he had a right to complain about how they’d caused this. “Come on, you’re allowed to feel bad. I get that you feel guilty, too, but my actions aren’t excusable…”
“Really, it’s alright. I-I deserved it, anyway. I always knew that.” Basil sniffled and looked to the side again, unwilling to meet Aubrey’s gaze head-on.
“What the fuck!?” In the absence of Hero, Aubrey was a lot more willing to swear. Basil instinctually flinched away, raising his hands like he had so many times before. Her gaze softened immediately and guiltily. She raised her hands in a peacemaking gesture. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” she explained. Damn, I really did ruin him, huh? She thought to herself. His situation was largely his fault, perhaps mostly, but she knew her constant bullying and cutting him out of any hope for a new social circle couldn’t have helped, either.
“But it’s not alright. I stole your most prized possession and kept it for myself, I thought everyone had abandoned me when they really abandoned you…” Aubrey ranted, staring at the ground in front of her in a very Basil-like fashion. “Hell, it was your photo album that you blacked out! I had no right to even get mad at you for that, let alone start months of… this!” She sniffled, trying not to break down in front of her gang, who looked at her with a newfound suspicion.
“No, they were all our memories. I, uh… shouldn’t have done what I did.” Basil decided not to correct her on who had blacked out what. He had no desire to see Aubrey cry again. “Yeah, sure, your actions weren’t justified, but I get it.” Once again, he went for a tired smile. He was going to say more, but Kim slowly raised a hand, silently asking for him to be quiet for a moment.
“Hold on, Aubs. You said that everything we did to Flower Boy was because of his photo album? The one you threw in the garbage?” Her fists clenched by her sides. Kim felt that she understood Aubrey’s actions, and could tell she regretted them, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t absolutely livid.
Aubrey slowly looked up at her right hand woman, nervousness pooling in her stomach. In all her combined panic-fury at Basil, she hadn’t even considered the fact she’d need to talk about why all this started with the gang.
Kim and all the rest had privately wondered what made their beloved leader so furious at Basil, a boy she, personally, had known to be nothing but shy and kind. Sure, he was a dork, but that couldn't be it - and the situation was made more confusing by the fact that Basil and Aubrey had, apparently, been good friends before her defacto older sister killed herself. How that led to the current situation was a mystery to them. Back then, they assumed it had to have been something truly horrible and let their imaginations run wild, but never wanted to intrude on a topic obviously sensitive for the boss.
“Hey, Kim, she was already hurting, it’s not her fault I set it off…” Basil tried to intervene on Aubrey’s side, but all it did was confirm her suspicions. He tugged on his fingers nervously. He didn’t want to ruin her relationship with her new friends. Hadn’t he ruined enough already?
“Sh. Let us sort this one out, dude.” Vance told him, with an uncharacteristically gentle tone. Charlie nodded, eyes narrowed behind her bangs.
“Seriously? That’s why you hated him?” Angel’s usually competitive, childish demeanor turned into downright anger.
“Dearest Aubergine, we thought the hooligans were a group devoted to justice!” The Maverick™ struck a pose, but was clearly bothered. The rest of the gang continued to pester Aubrey, who shrunk against them, finding herself between Basil and the hooligans.
“I-I… look, I know it was wrong, okay!? That’s why I’m here to apologize!” Basil could make out tears at the ends of Aubrey’s eyes. She kept talking as she raised her hands to hurriedly wipe them away. “I’m sorry, I, uh… need a minute.” She sniffled again, suddenly standing up and deftly weaving her way through her now substantially annoyed friends, running back the way she came.
“Damn it.” Kim swore under breath, surveying the scene around her. Basil was solemnly watching Aubrey round the corner, furiously wiping at her eyes. He was still shuddering and hugging his knees to his chest, mimicking Sunny, but managed to not be a total wreck anymore. Nonetheless, his face was streaked with tears and his nose had begun to run. Charlie wasn’t too expressive, but Kim had trained herself to learn her friend’s emotions; right now, she looked sadly after Aubrey. Vance cursed and prepared to run after her, an angry Angel and The Maverick™ readying to do the same.
“Wait up, everyone. I think she needs some time alone.” Kim held up a fist. The rest of the Hooligang watched her intently. She was furious at Aubrey, but knew she’d have to sort all of this out later. At the end of the day, they were still friends, and they’d have to tough out bullshit like this.
“Yeah, ‘spose you’re right.” Vance let out a deep breath, crossing his arms and turning back to Basil. “Jeez, I had no idea that’s what all this was about. I’m really sorry, man.”
The flower boy looked at him and the sympathetic hooligans behind him, echoing the sentiment. “Really, it’s fine. Y-you guys are good friends to her. I’m glad.” Charlie approached him as he spoke, handing him a handkerchief. “Th-thanks.” He wiped his face, hoping his eyes weren’t too red, and shakily got to his feet.
“Hey, if you want, we can go to the funeral with you. Make sure nobody messes with you, so we can maybe start to make up for how we treated you?” Angel beamed, and his master seemed to have a similar outlook.
“But we can leave if you want us to.” Kim added hurriedly, watching pure terror flit across his face before he composed himself.
“Oh, no, it’s fine. If you feel like staying, y-you can…” Basil glanced from side to side. He didn’t want this, but now Aubrey had fled to god-knows-where. Everything just seemed wrong; he was supposed to be the guilty one, not her - she was still a good person, after all. Maybe the hooligans wouldn’t feel as bad about everything if they came with him; he wanted nothing more than to just be left alone, but...
“H-hey, don't you guys remember? W-we have a movie to see.” Charlie spoke up suddenly, sensing Basil’s poorly-masked discomfort. She subtly nudged Kim, who understood.
“Yeah, sorry. We’d love to be there, but, y’know, can’t waste money.” She shrugged apologetically, watching the tension drain from the flower boy’s face and posture.
“W-well, that’s a shame! Thanks for helping me, but you should go see Aubrey. She needs you more than I do.” Basil scratched at the back of his neck, embarrassed at all the attention they’d given him.
“No worries, we’ll talk to her. See you later, Basil!” Kim bit her tongue, preventing the instinctual ‘nerd’ from slipping out. After all the abuse they’d inflicted on him, she didn’t want to cause a panic attack or something.
Waving goodbye, Basil thought to himself, I hope not , fidgeting uncomfortably at the idea of having to be close to these people again. It was unfair, he knew; they seemed nice enough, and clearly didn’t have bad intentions. Aubrey didn’t, either, right?
Basil looked around the bleak scene: vast crowds of mourners, clad in black, some with umbrellas unfurled in anticipation of rain. His grandmother was quite popular, after all. The ones closest to her, metaphorically and literally, were, naturally, Basil, as well as Hero and Kel’s parents, Polly, and some family friends he hadn’t seen in ages. And yet, Aubrey, Kel, and Hero weren’t present. For the first time in a while, he felt real, genuine anger at the people close to him. It was all fine if they hated him; they should, after all. But he hated this kind of disrespect towards his grandma. Mentally, he chastised himself once more - he couldn’t blame them for this, not for something that was his fault again. After everything, it was no surprise that none of his friends, nor Sunny’s mother wanted to be near him. His parents hadn’t shown up, but that was also no surprise by this point.
Polly wrapped a single, reassuring arm around Basil’s shoulders. For some reason, even though she knew he’d (according to the police report) tried to kill himself and accidentally stabbed Sunny’s eye out when he tried to stop him, she stuck by him. Though it put cracks in that idea that Polly was only paid to pretend to care for him, he knew that she could, like his previous caretakers, be dismissed and swapped out by his parents if they ever felt like it. Like every adult, she could lea- stop that. Basil dug his nails into his palms.
Basil wished he had someone like Polly with him before the incident, who would be able to listen to him and communicate healthy advice back. But, in place of a therapist or parent, he had grandma - he loved her dearly, but her health had been ailing for years before she died - and Sunny. Sunny, who, unlike those few caretakers, he’d thought would never leave him. Then he did, and it was for the best.
It was too late for anything preemptive now, but at least Basil could talk to a licensed therapist, a total stranger, about everything that had happened. And it was up to him if he wanted to cut things off, not his parents. Even if that weren’t the case, the possibility of being abandoned was one he’d have to cope with. It wouldn’t fix the past, but maybe it would mend the future.
In spite of his fear, Basil leaned into Polly’s touch. His dark, cliff-faced expression, which he thought had been because he was finally all cried out after the things that had happened, shattered into a million pieces and he sobbed dryly into his caretaker’s side. She bowed her head solemnly - she’d often butted heads with her charge’s elderly grandma when she was alive, but she seemed like a respectable woman at the end of the day.
A cool noon breeze swept through the graveyard, now a final resting place for Basil's grandma as well as Mari. It rustled the branches of the surrounding forest, and leaves gently laid themselves upon the funeral ceremony. Basil stared into the casket, at her peaceful face. A halo-like ring of hyacinths he had grown was in her palms. A twinge of guilt went through him at his own cowardice, having not given a eulogy, but he knew he was in no condition to deliver one. Instead, he clung onto the hyacinth in his hair and returned to gently trembling in Polly’s grasp.
When Basil returned home, he knew he’d have to prepare for one more day.
Notes:
Suicide, Poorly Depicted Panic Attack(?)
A sunflower Discord server, for anyone who wants it:
https://discord.gg/3m3e3tHEPg
Chapter 2: Basil x Therapy
Summary:
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Chapter Text
Aubrey looked up at the ceiling of the treehouse, still glad that she’d found it empty. The clouds had begun to part slightly, letting the early afternoon sunlight stream in through the windows. Dust floated through the air, collecting on the paper plants upon the windowsill. She took a deep breath, ready to finally sit up from the floor after spending a few hours lying down. This endeavor was interrupted when she saw Kim’s worried face looking down at her.
Sitting up immediately and barely avoiding Kim’s nose, Aubrey got up with a surprised yelp. “What the hell are you doing here?” She rubbed her temples, looking around. Apparently, she’d zoned out and missed the entire Hooligang entering the treehouse. They now shuffled about the entrance awkwardly.
“Seeing you, dingus.” Vance gave Aubrey a gentle flick on the forehead, smiling lightly. Kim did the same, though they all still seemed rather uncomfortable.
“How’d you even find this place?” Aubrey asked.
“We were looking everywhere, but your bike made things rather obvious.” Kim replied.
“Yeah, yeah, but what was all that about earlier, when you ran off?” Angel asked.
“Aubergine, we are aware your emotional state has not been the best, but did you seriously start bullying Basil over a couple of photos?” The Maverick™ crossed his arms. “I gave up my advances on him because I thought he did something awful!”
“Th-then Aubrey probably did him a favor.” Charlie made a rare joke, eliciting a chuckle from a few of the people gathered, though the air remained thick as blood.
Aubrey leaned against the wall, looking away from the others. “After Mari… passed… I thought my friends had all left me alone and had begun to forget her. I still wonder how I could have believed something like that. I cornered Basil after a few years and walked home with him - when we got there, I found out that the photo album, the last trace of Mari, had been blacked out with a marker beyond recognition.”
“But… didn’t you just clean it? Couldn’t he have done that, too, eventually?” Angel asked, confused.
“I did, but I haven’t been doing much thinking recently, I guess.” Aubrey covered her face with her hands, not wanting to look her friends in the eyes. “I was angry at everything, even before Mari died, and now I had something - someone - to lash out at. I stopped caring about anyone else, just me and Mari, but I didn’t even carry on her legacy the way she would’ve wanted me to-”
Kim knelt beside her best friend as she, recounting the past four years, began to break down in front of all of them. “Hey. It’s over.” She lifted Aubrey’s chin and looked her in the eye. “You can’t change what you did in the past; you have to focus on the future, now. We all do.”
“A humbling speech, Kimberl-” The Maverick™ was abruptly cut off by a roll of taffy hitting him in the forehead, knocking off his poorly-fitted plastic sunglasses. The tension finally dissolved, and even Aubrey, wiping down her face, found herself laughing along with her friends.
“Earlier, you said you didn’t forgive him for something, though.” Vance watched Aubrey freeze up a little. “I doubt it was the album thing, so what was it?”
“I-it’s personal. I’d like to hear him out, first, if you guys don’t mind.” She took a deep breath. Hero had taught her mechanisms to deal with anger, and breathing exercises were a lot less strenuous than smashing mailboxes. “He’s done something terrible - worse than even what I did - but I don’t think you guys should hate him. For now, just try to keep the rest of the neighborhood from picking on him, 'kay?”
“You got it, boss.” Angel readjusted the now upside-down sunglasses on his master’s pouting face.
“We’ll take your word on it, then.” Kim hoped that, this time, she wouldn’t regret it.
Basil looked at the bespectacled man across from him: salt and pepper crew cut, thirties or forties, thick diamond-patterned sweatervest, and a stern, but neutral gaze. Dr. Carlsen was clearly experienced, which was fitting for a case like him. The plants dotting the room calmed him a little, at least. The noon sun filtered in through the window, illuminating the neatly-organized modern office. Basil, having sat in silence for several moments after entering, finally looked Dr. Carlsen in the eyes. “Alright, Basil.” His features seemed to soften a little as he spoke. “It’s been a few weeks by now - are you ready for us to address the elephant in the room?”
“Y-yes.” Basil tugged on his fingers awkwardly. He knew this was a necessity, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed it. Still, best to get this out of the way while I’m grounded, right? “Have they already told you about… what I’ve done?” After returning to the hospital, he was kept in the psych ward once again - ‘I want to see off my friend, who I also stabbed in the eye while having a psychotic break’ wasn’t considered a good enough reason to leave. He had an odd feeling that he’d have been the only one to wave Sunny goodbye, which was yet another thing that was his fault- Basil stopped himself, looking around the room and mentally naming objects. He focused on the conversation at hand.
🌻
“Indeed. Tell me if it gets to be too much, but let me know how accurate this account of your life up to this point is.” Carlsen looked at his clipboard, flipping through sheets of paper. Basil felt his heart drop into his stomach, but practiced Mari’s breathing techniques and Carlsen’s grounding method, trying to keep himself locked in reality even as shadows tugged at the corners of his vision. “Your parents were absent for a majority of your life, leaving you with your grandmother. You didn’t have many friends until you were eleven, and developed a particular attachment to a boy called Sunny, who became your best friend. After Sunny killed his sister by accident, you made the incident look like a suicide.” He shrunk into his seat, but kept his eyes focused on Carlsen. When he gave the boy a concerned glance, he nodded at him to keep going. “Following this, the social group split apart, and you were bullied by your peers until, after your grandmother died, you attempted to kill yourself. You ended up stabbing Sunny in the eye and you were both hospitalized, leading us to where we are now. Is this information accurate?”
It felt odd to hear his entire life summarized in a few sentences, but Basil hadn’t done many interesting things during his teen years. Neither had Sunny, although both of these problems were Basil’s fault. He cringed inwardly, but managed to collect himself before he started spiraling. “...Yes.”
“What was that?” Carlsen asked upon hearing the boy’s small, distant voice.
“Yes. It was.”
“Very well. Now, there are obvious pieces missing. I know this may be too intense, even though it’s not your first session-”
“It’s fine. I want to get this over with.” Basil cut him off, voice terse. “A-ah, I’m sorry, that was rude of me.” He looked to the side sheepishly.
“No problem. Let’s start with the most pressing matter, in my opinion: why, upon finding Sunny had killed Mari, did you decide to hang the body?”
Basil shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He began to speak, but his voice shook and hands trembled. Each word was forced out, and he ground his teeth as he recounted his actions and miserable excuse for a life to Carlsen. As he talked, he sniffed, trying to compose himself.
“Are you sure you want to continue, Basil?” The concern evident in Dr. Carlsen’s face grew.
“Y-y-yes. I do.” He took another deep breath, trying to orient himself. “After all that… when Sunny threw his violin down the stairs and… pushed Mari, I didn’t think a person as gentle, calm, kind and perfect as him, the only one who seemed to understand me, could do that. I thought it had to have been something else; something b-behind him. And, once I thought I had a way to protect my best friend from the consequences of his actions, I told him e-everything was going to… be okay. And I focused on doing that one thing.” Many sessions of therapy had led up to this point, filled with small talk and dealing with minor issues. And now, it had all been laid bare.
Shadows danced at the edge of Basil’s vision. He felt himself slipping, his thoughts morphing in on themselves as his mind seemed to tear itself apart. His eyes darted around the room, trying to focus, but he wouldn’t let himself. “Basil? Look at me.” Carlsen’s voice broke through the growing haze. He looked the therapist in the eyes, trying to steady his breathing. “Name five things you can see in this room.”
“Y-y-you…” Basil’s attempt to keep calm failed miserably, and he felt sweat trickle down the side of his head. He tried to follow Carlsen’s words. “Desk… curtains, wall. The… the carpet.”
“Good. Stay focused. What are four things you can hear?”
“Th-the clock. Your voice. M-my voice. W-wind…” Basil dug his nails into his palms until he felt them grow warm with something. Carlsen spotted it out of the corner of his eye, but it was more important he sort out the boy’s panic attack before bandaging his hands.
“You’re doing good. Now, three things you can touch?” The doctor kept a firm, focused gaze on Basil’s significantly less focused eyes.
“My h-hands… blood.” His pitch raised slightly when he realized how tightly he’d been gripping his palms. “Uh, my pants.” He felt a small trail of red stain his beige cargo shorts.
“Two things you can smell; you’ll be fine.”
“Flowers?” Basil was glad for the plants around the room even more than he already had been. “Uh… sharpie ?” Why the hell does it smell like sharpie in here? His breathing turned from ragged panting to something a little slower. “A-and the smell of flowers is predominantly azaleas, I think.”
“Finally, what do you taste?”
“Salt.” With a shudder unrelated to his spiral, Basil realized his sweat had reached his lips. He hadn’t even noticed until now, but his vision had grown clear, and he, for the most part, felt present.
“Thank you, Basil. Are you sure you can continue?” Carlsen leaned back in his chair, withdrawing a first aid kit from the disk. Despite some meek protests of being able to do it himself, Basil allowed the doctor to clean and wrap up his palm wounds. It was some progress, at least.
“Yes,” he responded with the most confident voice he could summon, which wasn’t all that confident; at least he didn’t stutter.
“If you’re sure.” Carlsen decided against mentioning the fact that he’d have to put a stop to this if things got that bad again. He took the boy’s word that he was ready, for now. “It appears that you suffered from codependency once you had someone you considered a true friend, and were willing to go to extreme lengths to protect him, even at the cost of your own health or that of those around you…”
🌻
Basil, over the coming sessions, watched as his life’s problems were laid bare for him. He bitterly wondered how different life could have been if his grandmother had listened to him, or parents had bothered to stick around. However, he stopped himself from spiralling again.
Basil always considered himself selfish, and he still wasn’t sure if he’d have offered himself up as a martyr in Sunny’s place if that was the first idea that came to mind rather than the hanging. He wished that he could have stabbed his own eye out instead of Sunny’s; it wasn’t like he ever needed to drive to places, anyways, and the lack of depth perception probably wouldn’t impact his daily life much. Frankly, everyone would've led a better life if Basil just hadn't gotten involved with the friend group, even though the idea made his stomach sink.
There were so many things Basil wished he could change, but if there was one thing life had taught him with its many punches to the metaphorical and real gut, it was that the past would always stay the same.
These were his thoughts as Basil took a probably-trademarked-by-now deep breath and looked at his house. There were so many memories here: some neutral, some good, some incredible - and some awful beyond description. Now, the only thing he could do was make new memories. A messenger bag filled with possessions he’d accumulated while being treated, along with his medication and a few loose items, was slung over his shoulder. The leather was warmed slightly by the midday, late summer sun. The hospital van peeled away, engine quietly running. He sighed and, after more than two months confined to the psych ward, gently opened the door.
Aubrey couldn’t sleep. Even though her friends had stopped nagging her about it, she knew she’d have to see her friends (the other ones) soon. She’d somehow found it in her to put off visiting Basil for two months. It wasn’t a lie when she said she didn’t hate him, but she did hate that terror that seemed to root him to the spot whenever she was closeby. That combination of guilt and fury at him was far too confusing. His fear brought no wicked satisfaction, not anymore. She wished Sunny was still here - she had to admit that she understood him a lot more than she did Basil, and he could probably help her with the latter.
You can’t pin this on Sunny. Aubrey rolled around on her miserable excuse for a mattress, looking at the sleeping form of Bun-Bun in his hutch. While she felt guilty for ignoring Basil, it was nothing compared to the fact she hadn’t tried to meet Kel in those two months. Once she’d begun to show signs of change, he was immediately there for her again, pushing past his own worries of inadequacy. But, even though Aubrey had seen him at the basketball courts, looking distracted, or gazing at the path to the lake, she’d still avoided him and his unreadable gaze.
And what about Hero? Aubrey hadn’t heard from him whatsoever, so he’d probably returned to college. She hoped he was doing well, but would probably have to go through Kel to find out more. Of course, she didn’t have any way to contact Sunny. Perhaps he left something with Basil? After Aubrey had stormed out of the hospital room, trying to avoid sobbing until she’d at least made it into the hallway, there was no way she would try to see either of the two again for a while.
Shifting uncomfortably, but resolving to finally go see Basil and then Kel, Aubrey found herself falling asleep.
🌷
When Aubrey awoke, she was once again at Basil’s house, the sleeping forms of Sunny, Hero, and Kel nearby. In a break of character, she’d sheepishly let the latter call the couch this time. She felt there was a lot to make up for.
It was a familiar nightmare to her - she would open the door, finding Basil passed out in the corner and Sunny covered in his own blood, a gaping wound in his eye. Thinking that she knew what lay ahead, Aubrey gently opened the door. She did not know what lay ahead.
Sunny would usually have teleported into this room, somehow, but hadn’t. Instead, Basil, his body illuminated by the pale moonlight, sat beneath his bedroom window. A dark pool spread out beneath him, and his arms were splayed out at his sides awkwardly. The gardening shears he’d tried to kill Sunny with were buried inside his abdomen, and blood flowed down his front and between his legs.
Basil’s mouth hung open, red dripping down his chin. His eyes were empty, devoid of life.
Aubrey couldn’t find it in her to scream. She didn’t want this. She had never wanted this. Even in the hospital, she didn’t want to hurt Sunny or Basil again. She stumbled back, eyes transfixed upon the corpse. She did end up screaming when it looked up at her, eyes faintly glowing blue. It grasped the shears in its stomach, ripping it out with a sickening squelching noise. Viscera clung to the blades, tendrils snapping like saliva after a kiss.
‘Basil’ struggled to his feet, eyes seeming just as dead as before. “You did this.” He rasped, as though his vocal chords were damaged. Aubrey wasn’t sure if they would be; it wasn’t like she’d ever paid much attention in school. He stood straight, standing rigidly, and pointed the shears at her. “All I ever wanted was to tend to my flowers and take photographs with my friends. You couldn’t even let me do that, could you?”
“I-I… no-” Aubrey stammered, falling backwards as Basil towered over her. Never did she think she’d be scared of him rather than for him. “Please… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” She was at once too terrified and too miserable to cry, only staring as he raised the shears.
“Too late for that-” Basil’s voice warped towards the end, making him completely indecipherable. A shadow fell over his face as the dream shattered.
Aubrey had never been more glad to find herself on the cold floor of her attic. What was he doing in his room on that night?
🌷
When Basil opened the door, he first noticed that Polly was sitting on the couch, holding a book and presumably waiting for him. He was pleasantly surprised by how little had changed around the house - it seemed she’d brought a few plants inside for the sake of convenience, but, other than that, had done an excellent job at keeping all of them alive. Something seemed off, though, even discounting the emptiness of the house now that Grandma was gone.
Polly looked up, taking off her reading glasses and giving him a concerned, but nonetheless warm and seemingly genuine smile. From the time he spent staring into the mirror, Basil had gotten pretty good at determining genuine smiles. “You’re back, Basil!” She stood, walking over and then awkwardly standing there, unsure of whether to go in for a hug or not.
“Uh… yeah.” And you’ve made a bad situation worse - again. Basil quietly shuffled to the kitchen to try and resolve Polly’s dilemma, still limping slightly. Most of his other wounds from the fight had healed, although he nonetheless had to wear a bandage here or there. He’d gotten away far better than Sunny - from the grizzly sight his eye had been, Basil doubted he’d have any hope of getting it back.
“I’m already preparing carrot soup for lunch - if you’d like to, you can help out!” Polly knew Basil wouldn’t want to be a burden on her. She found it ironic, considering how badly she’d failed at her job up till this point. That realization really struck when Basil showed up to the funeral, face already blotchy. She thought back to all the signs she completely missed, like him nearly drowning after constantly being bullied. Like when she found a bloody box cutter and bought him gardening shears so he wouldn’t cut himself by accident, despite the fact that a box cutter had no use in gardening. Like when his grandmother spoke quietly to him in German, causing his sullen face to fall further.
The extent to how terrible Basil’s life had been up to this point was made more and more clear to Polly during her frequent visits to him in the hospital, bringing flowers and snacks. She’d grown from cautious on a surface-level to actually cautious, which she felt was quite warranted in this case. Crestfallen he may have been, but Polly wasn’t bringing him lilies of the valley or any other poisonous plants. Slowly, he let little pieces fall into place, like the fact that his parents really had never been there, and that wasn’t some sort of recent occurrence.
Basil walked into the hallway, looking at the pictures lining the walls. “Alright, I’ll be there in a moment!” He called to Polly, who’d already returned to the kitchen. He saw her keeping a cautious eye on him from over the counter, trying to be discreet. Ignoring this (it was his fault, anyway), most frames contained his sketches of plants or photographs of him and Grandma. He’d grown accustomed to the distinct lack of parents on this wall.
The boy gritted his teeth as he came across a particular photo - it had been a sweltering autumn day, just weeks after Aubrey had introduced him to her other friends. Basil wore a grim, but generally neutral expression, t-shirt, shorts, and a scarf.
Deciding to focus on the present rather than the past, Basil walked to assist Polly in the kitchen. The granite countertops seemed to sparkle, cluing him into what she’d probably been doing if she wasn’t reading or tending to the plants. “Can you chop these, please?” She slid several carrots onto a cutting board. He approached and looked into the utensil drawer. Butter knives. Keeping quiet, Basil surveyed the room again - all of his poisonous plants, most prominently the lily of the valley, were nowhere to be seen. Sighing quietly, he got to work on the carrots.
Notes:
So, gamers, chapter 2's out!
Not as happy w/ this one as the first, because I just don't find the subject matter as interesting, but it's a necessary bridge imo. more content will be coming soon, hopefully.
Panic attack (and mentions of suicide) starts and ends with a 🌻
Nightmare sequence + slight gore start and end with a 🌷
Chapter 3: Reunion
Summary:
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Chapter Text
Aubrey was fortunate enough to spot the hospital van driving off, so she wouldn’t end up biking all the way to the hospital before being informed Basil was discharged. All it did was drive a pit further into her stomach, though. Now he was back, and she had no idea how to handle it. What if she ran into him at Othermart, or something, and he blamed her for never visiting? Should she go knock on his door, or would that be too intrusive? There was no way he’d say no, even if he was uncomfortable, which she didn’t want to do to him.
She decided it would be best to wait a bit before trying to contact Basil again and leaned her signature bike against the wall of her house. Perhaps she could walk to Kel’s place and get that out of the way. Aubrey sat down, smoothing over her shorts as she pondered what to do next. Nails from her freshly de-nailed bat littered the ground, along with the pliers she'd done the deed with. Fuck, I’m going to have to see Kel eventually, right? Best to do it on my own terms. She got to her feet and looked at the route to his house determinedly, steeling her nerves.
“Come on, Aubs. You have to talk to him.” Aubrey muttered quietly, watching as the house loomed ever closer over her.
She stopped dead in her tracks as a voice behind her innocently asked, “Talk to who?” She spun around, wishing she’d brought her bat. Kel, standing head-and-shoulders above her, looked down, a broad grin upon his face and basketball uniform on his frame.
“No, seriously. Talk to who?” He rubbed the back of his neck, smile unwavering.
“Uh… well, I was planning to go talk to you?” Aubrey repeated the gesture, looking away awkwardly.
“That’s cool.” Kel replied, letting the silence linger as he continued to smile. “I tried approaching you a few times, but you seemed pretty determined to stay away from everything, so I decided it’d be better to leave you on your own for a bit.”
Aubrey took notice of a bag of groceries in his hand. She decided not to question how, despite Othermart being in a completely different direction, he’d ended up here; that was just how Kel was. “Yeah, sorry for avoiding you. I’m pushing everyone away again, aren’t I?”
“I mean, I’d have given you the Sunny treatment if it went on for too long.” Kel commented, beginning to walk towards his house as though he expected Aubrey to follow. She did.
“Haha, yeahhh. Sounds like you.” She’d looked at the ground at the mention of Sunny’s name. Once again, a silence that only seemed to be awkward for her filled the air. “So… how, eh, are things?”
“I’m probably going to be made captain of the basketball team this year, which is pretty neat. We got absolutely trounced last semester, remember?”
“Oh, yeah. That last game was something else…” Aubrey grimaced as she recalled it.
“Yep! Also, I never knew you showed up to my games.” Kel cocked his head, a smug, faux-innocent expression on his face.
“W-wh… I didn’t. No, Angel told me.” She said hurriedly.
“Angel literally goes to a different school.” He chuckled.
Aubrey sighed, face-palming lightly. She’d forgotten why she bickered so often with Kel. “Alright, but you know what I meant by ‘how are things.’”
The cheery August atmosphere seemed to dissolve immediately. Kel’s face grew uncharacteristically serious, darkening. “Hm. Hero went back to college. He’s communicating less; doesn’t like talking about when he’s coming home.” He recalled the early days of his supposed return to form, following Hero’s year of depression; this was better than that, at least. “And, before you ask…” His expression turned shameful. “I haven’t seen Basil, either. Couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
Aubrey crossed her arms. “You wouldn’t make things worse by visiting him.” She said sternly. “We went over this on… the last day.”
“That’s not it.” Kel sighed. “Like, I know that me being there would probably help him, but, considering how much damage he caused, I can’t bring myself to approach him.”
“Damn. Wouldn’t expect that from happy Kel.” Aubrey commented. “But I get it.”
“I want to stay friends with him, I really do. He’s clearly hurt enough over the last few years…” Kel noticed Aubrey cringing at the mention of the previous years and kept the conversation moving. “…but the only reason I had to fix the friend group, deal with you, Hero, and Sunny, the only reason I had to partially pretend to be ‘happy Kel…’ well, it was him. I guess Sunny, too, but we could’ve healed so much faster if… y’know.”
Aubrey continued to cringe inwardly, remembering how she’d thought Kel had just moved on when he obviously hadn’t. “I wanna try and undo the damage I did to him, but, honestly, I’m not sure if that’s even possible.” Her dark monologue was interrupted by Hector barking, his eyes betraying the fact that the skull that housed them was otherwise empty. They’d reached the Darwish household.
“Hey Hector! Who’s a good boy!?” Kel aggressively pet the dog until it quieted down, running circles around the yard. He turned back to Aubrey. “I think it’s worth a try. Even if we can’t forgive him, he at least deserves a shot at getting better.” Kel knocked on the door.
The two stood in silence, save for Hector’s barking, as Aubrey ruminated on Kel’s words. “Wait, this is literally your house.”
“Oh, so it is.” Kel spoke as though he’d just learnt a fun fact. He fished out a set of house keys from his pocket, fumbling through them until Aubrey sighed and opened the door.
“C’mon. You have to lock the door when nobody’s home.” She said exasperatedly.
“Yeah, I know.” Kel did not elaborate further.
The duo entered the house, the nostalgic atmosphere settling over Aubrey like a warm blanket. She remembered the last time she’d been here - at once happy and terrified, unsure of whether Basil would ever forgive her for how she’d acted and reminiscing on how easy it used to be. In the two months since, it felt both like it was yesterday and years ago. Stretching her arms, Aubrey asked, “Wait a minute, what am I doing in your house?” She locked the door, because Kel obviously wouldn’t.
“Well, it’s been months since we’ve really talked, so we could hang out!” He responded cheerfully, almost throwing his groceries into the garbage before he remembered what he was holding. “I’ve got my hands on the new Captain Spaceboy game!”
“Isn’t that one a court simulator, though…?” Aubrey inquired quizzically.
“Yep!”
She sighed. He’d matured since they were young, but Kel was, deep down, still the same kid.
After failing to vindicate Captain Spaceboy for his alleged war crimes in Alpha Centauri, the duo realized sunset was rapidly approaching. When they bickered, they sometimes forgot why they were friends in the first place. “Maybe we can get Gino’s or something? If you’re up to it, I could probably give the Hooligang a call, but it’s chill if you don’t wanna see ‘em.” Aubrey felt it was nice to be around an old friend again. Kim understood her, but still didn’t know much about her - the same, for better or worse, couldn’t be said about Kel.
“Ah, the more the merrier, right?” Kel was excitedly… vibrating.
“Yeah, so long as you keep the Orange Joe away from Angel.”
Kel dug around in his closet, swore when he couldn’t find something, and instead picked up his wallet from a nightstand. “I’m sorry, Aubrey, but it must be done in the name of science!”
“You have a C in science.” They bickered as they began their walk towards Gino’s.
“D, actually. And this is how I make up for it!”
“I don’t think making a middle schooler explode due to blood sugar overload is considered science, Kel.”
“Then I’ll have an A in law once I am sentenced to up to 15 years in jail for voluntary manslaughter and charged a fine of up to $30,000!”
“…” Aubrey wasn’t sure whether she should be amused at the fact that Kel believed this would get him an A in a class he didn’t have, or disturbed by the fact that his information was accurate - she’d gotten curious after the incident at the lake.
Their banter continued as they walked, but Aubrey remembered her promise to summon the hooligans. “Hold on, I’ll catch up.” She halted, pulling out her banged-up flip phone. Kel had no idea what she was doing, but decided to keep walking. The sky above Faraway Park was a rosy shade of pink mixed with yellow, creating a serene, picturesque view. Basil preferred capturing people, but he’d probably have liked this, too.
Aubrey had just punched in Kim’s number, beginning to walk in the direction Kel had disappeared to, when she spotted a certain blond boy in a pastel green sweater rounding a corner up ahead. There was a flower in his hair, a limp in his step and mild fear on his face. “Hey, Basil!” Aubrey called out immediately, then slapped a hand over her mouth. She’d probably come on way too strong, either angry or cheerful rather than ‘calm, but friendly.’
Basil’s head, which had been angled slightly towards the sidewalk, snapped up at the source of the noise. For a moment, he froze like a deer in headlights before turning around and sprinting in the direction he’d come from. “Wait! I just want to talk!” She desperately ran after him, being both taller and more athletic but also being far behind him.
Aubrey skidded to a brief stop at the bend in the sidewalk, turning and continuing to sprint after Basil. He’d seemingly disappeared - was he really willing to go into the woods just to avoid her? The thought distracted her as she tripped over one of the many warped pavement tiles in Faraway, barely catching herself in time to avoid cheese grating her face. The same could not be said for her unfortunate right knee. Should’ve worn longer pants…
Aubrey turned upright, cursing under her breath as she got ready to scramble to her feet and think about what to do next. Once again, her thinking was interrupted, but this time it was by Basil rather than the hooligans. He had, indeed, tried going in the woods, and approached her warily. Each step looked like it took a monumental effort, and it probably did. His hands were clenched tightly against his small, rapidly moving chest, and he failed to hide his slight trembling.
Basil attempted to keep a neutral face as he crouched next to the unmoving Aubrey, taking out a first aid kit from his back pocket. She wondered what her face looked like right now. Probably just pure shock at whatever the hell was going on, she figured. “I’ve, uh, always had a first aid kit on me.” He tried to make small talk as he cleaned the wound. “I got injured a lot while being outdoors, gardening and all that. Became even more useful when you and your friends…” Basil gulped, his expression betraying the fear, guilt and mistrust he felt.
Shame surged through Aubrey, but Basil would just feel worse if he saw it. “S-sorry for making you chase me, by the way. You can add your knee to the list of things I’ve damaged, hah…” His laugh was free from humor or mirth. It just sounded empty, and she hated it. “I-I’m sorry, that wasn’t funny, was it? I… I…”
“Basil.” Aubrey spoke in the most Mari-like tone she could muster. She put a hand on his shuddering shoulder, and winced internally as she felt him almost flinch away the moment she started to move. “It’s alright. Thanks for your help.” She said as he finished putting a bandage on her knee.
“It’s no trouble! It was my fault, after all-”
“Will you stop that?” Aubrey tried to keep a gentle tone, but the level of self-loathing he was showing scared her. “Not everything is your fault, Basil.”
“A-alright. My therapist says the same thing. I should probably listen to him more, haha.” Basil tried to make the situation a little lighter, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment.
Kel saved Aubrey from having to figure out a way to say, ‘I’m glad you’re getting help’ without sounding weird when he showed up from the street perpendicular to theirs. “Hey Aubrey, hey Basil! You were taking a while, so I… wait a minute, Basil? Hey!” He broke into a wide smile as he spotted the familiar flower boy. He rapidly approached, ready to scoop him up in a bone-crushing hug. Aubrey realized she hadn’t told him that Basil was back - add it to the list of important things she forgot to tell people.
“I, uh… w-wait!” Basil’s barely-contained terror at everything going on around him spilled out as he rapidly scrambled back and away from Aubrey and Kel, beginning to sweat as his eyes darted around for some kind of easy escape from this situation.
Even Kel noticed his discomfort without catching Aubrey’s harsh glare, the owner of which got to her feet, dusting herself off. “We were just on our way to Gino’s!” Kel tried to keep the atmosphere light. “Wanna come?” An idea struck him.
🌻
Basil’s eyes grew wider as he struggled to take in everything that was happening around him. “Ooh, if you’re still in contact with Sunny, you could ask him for Mari’s cookie recipe and we’ll go to my place!” Kel didn’t stop talking. Basil wanted it to stop. He stiffened as the boy kept on blabbering. “It’ll be like before the incident and we can all hang out and-” Aubrey struck him lightly.
“Kel, what the hell!?” She hissed. He’d been daydreaming about cookies and pizzas, looking into the distance and not even realizing Basil had begun to quietly whimper. Their ‘friend’ looked between them, his breath growing even more hitched than before. A trickle of sweat rolled down the side of his temple. “You can’t just talk like that the moment you meet him!”
“Damn, you’re right.” Kel rubbed the nape of his neck, completely unsure of where to go from here as he turned to Basil. “Hey man, I’m sorry for bringing up Mari and Sunny-”
“FUCK’S SAKE, KEL!” Aubrey covered his mouth with her hand before rushing over to Basil. He hadn’t even reacted to the yelling, but the color had drained from his face and eyes stared at nothing. Even from here, they could see him trembling. Kel followed, even less sure of what to do and even guiltier.
“H-hey, are you alright? Look at me.” Aubrey rubbed small circles into Basil’s back. He didn’t react to the touch, which concerned her even more than his typical flinching. However, he slowly lifted his head to look her in the eyes. There were bags under his own, bandages on his cheeks, and both looked devoid of life. Unsurprisingly, tear streaks had wetted his face. It was her first time getting a good look at it since June, and she’d awkwardly looked at anything but his face when he was treating her knee.
“Breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth. It’s not as scary as you think.” Aubrey realized Basil was looking behind her, and he spoke under his breath as though he barely noticed her and Kel’s presence. She cast a furtive glance over her shoulder, but there was nothing there except the setting sun. Those were words Mari had used to calm down Sunny, and served as a grim reminder to Aubrey of what the two boys had done. Her free hand formed a fist, but this wasn’t the time for lashing out.
Basil closed his eyes, managing to still himself as his breathing steadied. “Did I say that out loud?” He asked in a small voice, keeping his eyes firmly shut.
🌻
“Y-yeah.” Kel hadn’t stopped rubbing the nape of his neck, but had long since abandoned his sheepish half-smile. “Again, I’m really sorry for… that.”
“‘S alright.” Basil slowly and shakily began to stand up, opening his eyes while Aubrey kept a concerned gaze on him. She sighed, shaking her head slowly.
“…Okay. Now that that’s sorted, do you want to… spend time with us? If you’re up to it. Y’know.” She asked awkwardly. It was hard to avoid saying ‘hang out.’
“Ooh! We could go to the lake!” Aubrey shot a glare at Kel, but Basil just looked dejected rather than fearful. More than usual, anyway.
“Um… if it’s a-alright with you, I’d rather not.” He looked away, gripping one arm with the other, thinking, What place do I have to deny them anything? He tried to calm down, reminding himself of how Dr. Carlsen told him to value himself more.
Once again, Aubrey’s stomach churned as she recalled the time she’d nearly murdered Basil - Sunny, too. Of course there was more to that place for him than the happy memories. “Yeah, of course!” She said a little too quickly, a little too peppily, and Basil looked at her with evident concern. Trying to quickly change the subject, she continued, “How about we follow the original plan and just go to Gino’s?”
“W-well, it can’t hurt.” This is going to hurt, Basil thought to himself. “I should be getting out more, anyway, right?” He uneasily shifted his weight from side to side.
“Sick!” Kel replied, gently slinging an arm around the blond’s shoulders. He didn’t seem to mind being around Kel as much as Aubrey, she noted. She had nobody to blame for that but herself.
As the now-trio made their way to Gino’s, Aubrey thought back to her encounter. She hadn’t even seen Basil in the woods - sure, she hadn’t had much time, but he avoided her with decent talent. And yet, for those four years, he’d constantly been near the hooligans and her. What the fuck was he doing with those gardening shears!?
The three of them made light conversation, which was mainly carried by Kel standing between Aubrey and Basil, talking about his basketball and party-related escapades. “...And then, Jay started to beat him with the chocolate syrup-filled condom!” Kel finished triumphantly as they approached the doors to the pizzeria. By now, it was practically night, and only small streaks of pink lined the sky to signal the fact that the sun lingered beneath the horizon. Aubrey laughed at Kel's story, hoping it would put the uncomfortably chuckling Basil a little more at ease.
A bell chimed as they all entered. “So, how about you buy a large cheese pizza and I split it?” Kel asked.
“Why do I feel like you’d be the only one getting a share?” Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Basil, is there anything in particular you want?" He jumped a little. It felt strange to hear her say his name without malice behind it.
“N-no, I'll just have whatever you guys have.” He responded, trying to seem relaxed for Aubrey’s sake. Each tried to hide it, but could tell the other was still guilty.
“Sounds good!” Kel walked to the counter, loudly proclaiming his order. He tried to leave, but spun on his heel and slapped cash on the counter when Aubrey shot him a glare reminding him to pay. The two of them sat down at a table in the center of the room, Basil slowly sinking into a chair across from them. His eyes traveled between his supposed friends as they made casual conversation, though Aubrey’s gaze darted to him occasionally.
Kel did a much better job hiding his concern. It was a field he was experienced in, after all. “So, Bagel. My man, my dude.” He gave an even broader grin than before, somehow.
“B-bagel?” Basil sputtered, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment as he wished, like he had so many times before, that he could sink into the floor.
“There’s a lot more to talk about, but not at Gino's.” Kel’s smile continued, but expression darkened. “Still, we wanted to apologize for not seeing you in those two months!” He elbowed Aubrey gently. “Didn’t we?” He whispered quietly, but threateningly when she didn’t respond immediately.
Recovering from the momentary shock of Kel taking the initiative, she responded. “Yeah. We should’ve gone to visit you at least once, especially after I made that big show of wanting to help you.”
Basil stared across the table at Kel and Aubrey, feeling like he was being interrogated by the police. It was a more familiar feeling than he wanted it to be. “Guys, it’s fine. I understand! I’m just glad you wanted to meet me at all!” He gave an anxious and tired but genuine smile.
“Well, it’s nice that that’s sorted.” Kel’s grin returned to a more normal one; Basil had been worrying for the health of his cheeks. Taking a sip of Orange Joe he’d probably picked up from the roadside, Kel leaned back in his chair.
“I’m still serious about that offer from your grandma’s funeral, though.” Aubrey said gently. “The hooligans and I, we want to protect you. Maybe you’ll be able to see them as friends, even though you don’t have to feel the same about me!” She finished, smiling a little. My new friends shouldn’t suffer because of me. More than they already have, anyhow, she thought to herself.
“W-well, maybe.” Basil could see how hopeful she was of this prospect, and had to admit the feeling wasn’t mutual.
“Kim is super supportive and loyal once you get to know her… and feed her candy addiction.” Aubrey chuckled fondly. Basil recalled Kim being the one to swipe his money in the lunchline and play second fiddle when Aubrey harassed him. She ambushed him when he was out and about at the park, cornering him with her scooter and stealing whatever he had on him.
“Vance is her brother. Less wild, less ambitious, but he’s dedicated and reliable. You also have to feed his candy addiction if you wanna get close, though, hah.” Vance had once switched from Basil’s stomach to his face, and knocked him out with one hit. Of course, Basil hadn’t told anyone; they didn’t need to say it, but snitching always came with the threat of a real beatdown.
“Then there’s Charlie. I think you’d get along with her nicely, she’s also shy and into plants!” Charlie had held him down for the others to use as a punching bag or watched silently from the sidelines without a hint of emotion.
“Angel’s actually a sweetheart, just super energetic, so a lot of people immediately peg him as annoying.” Angel robbed him when he was down and served as a wall when Mikhail punched him.
“The Maverick™ is an idiot, but he really means well in the end.” Aubrey finished. Mikhail followed him home, throwing pebbles and shouting badly-pronounced faux-Japanese phrases about defeating evil. He looked ridiculous, but Basil found out the hard way that he had a mean right hook. “They’re all actually quite nice, honestly. You just have to get to know them!”
“Well, the hooligans didn’t seem so bad when Sunny and I met them a few months ago. Save for the time we, y’know, curb-stomped them.” Kel laughed.
“You had pepper spray!”
“Pfft, and it was a six versus two fight. Only fair.” Kel, not wanting a repeat of earlier, glanced to the eyes and spotted growing discomfort evidence on Basil’s face. He tried to rapidly, but subtly change the subject, and failed in both fields. “S-so. What’s up with aerodynamics?”
“I b-believe you…” Basil played with his hands in his lap, smoothing over his cargo shorts. He looked down at them guiltily. “But I’m just not ready, I think.” He tried to sound confident, recalling how he’d made himself bleed at Carlsen’s office. This was all necessary if he wanted to be better for his friends.
“That’s fine.” Aubrey tried to hide the disappointment in her voice, but she was the reason Basil wasn’t able to befriend the Hooligang - or, really, anyone. “Hey, Kel, aren’t you buddies with that swimmer girl, Cris? And Jay and Mincy?”
“Yep, indeed I am.” Kel said proudly, leaning back in his chair further until he fell over with a loud groan. “Anywho, why do you wanna know? Ooh, we could introduce them to Basil!” He got back up excitedly.
“Yeah, why do you think I was asking?” Aubrey bit back the urge to start a standard Kelbrey fight.
Basil shifted in his seat. All of this was too much - first, he was finally released, tried to go for a peaceful walk after lunch (Polly made him turn his pockets inside out before leaving and told him to stay on the main roads, where neighbors could see him), and then met the third and fourth most I-don’t-want-to-see-you people on his list. And then Aubrey and Kel were insisting they go to Gino’s with him, then Aubrey wanted him to meet his tormento- her friends, then they wanted to introduce him to other kids around town?
Still, Dr. Carlsen had told him to try and form new connections, even if he couldn’t maintain his old ones (although the latter had been going surprisingly well so far).
“A-alright. I’d just… like a few days to adjust, please. Sorry.” Basil’s gaze flitted between their concerned faces.
“That’s cool, Basil!” He was grateful Kel didn’t call him ‘Bagel’ again, but there was always tomorrow. Fortunately, there was no need for awkward small talk or discussion of what ‘adjusting’ meant, because there was a series of loud Italian curses flying from the kitchen. “Ayo, the pizza here!” Kel stood excitedly, sprinting over to the counter to collect.
Basil uneasily met Aubrey’s ever-concerned gaze. “Y-you don’t need to feel guilty over me, you know.” He tried to reassure her, giving a wobbly smile that betrayed his tenseness.
“I know, but I am.” Aubrey slowly reached over the table to hold his hand, keeping a gentle, but firm grip on it. She tried to hide it, but felt relief flood over her when he didn’t flinch away - in fact, his posture relaxed a little. Basil’s smile looked genuine now, and his eyes softened.
“AUBREY AND BASIL SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-G-E!” The two of them jumped a little when Kel somehow snuck up on them.
“That’s not even how the song goes, Kel.” Aubrey rolled her eyes as Basil flushed, looking to the side but not making an attempt to retract his grip.
“I know, I know. No worries, guys, I’m generous, I’m willing to tolerate even a heterosexual relationship in this friend group.” Kel beamed as he set down the pizza. Basil wondered why he’d been gone so long until he noticed it was pre-cut, and there was no knife in sight. Only got myself to blame for that, huh?
The group dug in, Kel maintaining his self control long enough to set aside a few slices for Aubrey and Basil before inhaling the remaining pizza. While Aubrey commented on the unhealthy nature of how he consumed food, he continued his story from earlier. “So anyways, Jay is blackout drunk now so I don’t think he remembers anything beyond this point - prolly why he asked why a condom filled with chocolate syrup was stuck to his ankle the next morning…”
Basil examined the pizza slice in front of him, slowly picking it up in his callused hands and taking a bite at the very end of it.
He wondered if the angels sang, because they should have.
After two months of crappy hospital food, interrupted only by the occasional homemade meal brought in by Polly, a slice of Gino’s tasted like Heaven converted into pie form. He didn’t even realize how wide he must be grinning until Kel spoke up. “Damn, that good?” He sounded amused, but lighthearted.
“Yeah.” Basil looked up, gently smiling. It still all felt like too much, but in a good way. Aubrey grinned as she handed him a napkin from across the table, pointing at a spot on his cheek. He wiped off a bit of sauce, wishing he’d brought his camera to at least capture the mood of this moment. His memory would have to do, though - and this was one picture he’d always keep close.
Aubrey’s small gesture was enough to break him. Basil felt small tears at the edges of his eyes. “Th-thanks, guys. You really have no idea how much all this means to me…” He sniffled, looking down and smiling as he felt two sets of arms awkwardly wrap around his shoulders from across the table, stroking his hair and rubbing his back. He returned the hug, glad that Gino’s was empty, though the titular clerk might be giving them the evil eye from behind the counter. Not that he could care less right now.
“No problem, Bagel. You’re our friend, dude, really!” Kel’s words and a slight nod from Aubrey really sent Basil over the edge as he openly cried into his friends’ embrace. But it was a good cry.
After what might’ve been a few seconds to half an hour, the group sat back down, and Basil wiped his face, still smiling. Kel and Aubrey grinned at him. He then realized how hungry he really was from all the excitement of the afternoon, and began to devour the slices of pizza set aside for him. This earned an amused chuckle from his friends while Kel continued his story. “So, Jay gets on his knees in front of him, everyone thinks, ‘oh my god, is he about to do what we think he is in the living room? ’ And then Jay rams his head into the dude’s groin! I think a guy vomited just from seeing that - even though he was totally hammered - in a drunk way, not literal way like the guy he just hammered - Jay had a mean-ass headbutt. I’m talking Aubrey levels here!”
Aubrey glanced at Basil, but he was just laughing at the story without a care in the world. She laughed, too.
Basil felt the warm atmosphere of the room overcome him. It was nice to just have fun with his friends after so long, although there were two crucial people missing.
No, three.
But it was better to appreciate what he had rather than what he would never get back.
Notes:
Panic attack begins and ends w/ 🌻
So, is this fluff? Regardless, Basil still cried, and I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Chapter 4: Another Sleepover
Summary:
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Chapter Text
The friends(?) shared stories and spoke casually as night set in. Basil and Kel argued lightheartedly about the best Captain Spaceboy issue (Aubrey still swore the Mutant Bunny run was their worst), Aubrey talked about taking care of Bun-Bun, and, before any of them had even realized it, closing time had arrived. Gino gave them all a harsh glare as they shuffled towards the door, Basil and Aubrey having eaten far too much, while Kel had already begun to plan his midnight snack.
Basil reached for the handle of the door, being at the front of the group, but heard Kel speak behind him. “Hey, you don’t have to accept, but seeing as it’s your first day back, why not have a sleepover with us? Your house, seeing as my mom’s been a bit uppity lately.” Basil froze, hand gripping the cold metal bar.
“W-well…” He wasn’t sure he wanted them so near to the place he’d tried to end it all, but he had no right to worry them. I shouldn’t - can’t - deny them anything. “Alright.” Basil was thankful he faced away from his friends, face angled downward to avoid his reflection being caught by the glass doors.
Their silly debates continued, the path ahead being illuminated by street lamps, but Basil felt markedly less at ease now. He’d never liked the night all that much, even less so since he’d made up Something. The hallucinations were nowhere near as intense as they used to be, but he still spotted bright eyes and teeth glinting at him from the shadows. Aside from that, he didn’t like the idea of his friends being within range for him to hurt them, but this was what they wanted. And it’s what I want, too. He admitted guiltily.
As Basil tried to soothe himself, remembering Carlsen’s advice that life isn’t built on who deserves what, he realized Kel was waving his hand in front of his face. “Oi, Pluto to Basil, you there?” He asked. Aubrey looked at the flower boy with yet more concern evident in her gaze.
“Y-yeah, sorry, was just spacing out.” Basil shook his head, trying to clear his mind. “Oh, we’re almost here!” He tried to keep his friends from worrying about him, rapidly changing the subject and jogging up to his front door. Aubrey and Kel exchanged a worried glance, but decided not to bother him further.
Basil unlocked the door with a shaking hand, peeking inside. He spotted Polly standing over the counter, replacing the batteries in a flashlight with an anxious expression on her face. She looked up, breaking out into a relieved smile. “Oh my goodness, Basil! You’re alright!” His caretaker immediately set down the light and rushed over to envelope him in a neck-high hug.
“S-sorry, Ms. Polly. I didn’t have a phone or anything…” He replied guiltily.
“Wait, you don’t have a phone?” Aubrey raised her eyebrows. “Damn, dude, we’ve gotta fix that.” Polly finally took notice of the presence of Basil’s friends.
“My goodness, Aubrey? Kelsey? It’s been so long since you’ve been around!” Polly greeted them. Even if they hadn’t been present since the Incident, it wasn’t like Basil had friends around often, so it was always a memorable event.
“Uh… yeah. It has.” Aubrey exhaled awkwardly, putting her hands on her hips and avoiding Polly’s gaze.
“Yup! We’d like to sleep over, if that’s cool with you!” Kel was significantly less awkward.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Kel. You two can either take the couch or Mrs. Altenstein’s old room.” Polly said cheerfully, leading everyone inside.
Aubrey thought back to the time when Basil was her only friend, and she spent long days hanging out at his house. She’d water his flowers occasionally, and he’d show her how to use his camera. Really, his home hadn’t changed much since then, although the friends had beyond measure. And, well, his grandmother was dead. She cursed herself mentally; she'd have to apologize for not showing up to the funeral later, but didn't want to bring down the mood.
“Actually, we’d all like to sleep with him!” Kel continued.
Polly was a little surprised, thinking they’d rather not be reminded of the time they stumbled upon a near-murder scene, but shrugged acceptingly. Basil and Aubrey paused for a moment before the former buried his reddening face in his hands and the latter rolled her eyes. “Sleep in his room, not with him, Kel.” She said.
“I’m sure he is a perfectly adequate partn-” Kel stuck his nose in the air, but decided to cut it out when he noticed how uncomfortably flustered Basil was. “Aaanyway… what do you do around here, Basil?”
“Hm… well, I usually spend my time gardening, watering the flowers, reading, watching TV…” Basil forgot all about his temporary embarrassment, happily rambling about his escapades in gardening. Kel and Aubrey made a silent agreement not to ask about photography, instead listening to him get lost in his hobby.
“...but I don’t have any consoles, if that’s what you were asking.” Basil concluded his rant on how to care for daisies.
“Oh, that’s alright, Bas- wait, what?” Kel did a double take. “How do you survive!?”
“C’mon, Kel, we can just put something on TV.” Aubrey laughed at his indignation.
The friends all settled onto the couch, sandwiching poor Basil between them, but he didn’t seem to mind. The next hour passed quickly, with them occasionally chatting or laughing at jokes as they switched from cartoons to nature documentaries to dramas to, in one instance, a psychological horror film. A small squeak of protest was all that Basil offered as Kel dramatically covered the blond’s eyes while Aubrey obliterated the ‘change channel’ button on the remote.
Before they even realized it, the clock chimed as it struck ten PM. “Wow… I’m usually in bed by nine.” Basil chuckled nervously. From the bags he had under his eyes, Aubrey assumed ‘in bed’ didn’t equate to ‘sleeping.’ At least he seemed to be getting a bit more shut-eye nowadays, though he still seemed a little tired.
“We won’t screw up your sleep schedule, then!” Kel cheerfully bundled Basil towards his room. He protested meekly, but slowly looked through the doorway, entering his room for the first time in two months, sans the funeral prep. Unsurprisingly, the door itself had been removed by Polly - it was always so hard to open, which hadn’t helped during the Incident. During his brief stay at home to deal with Grandma’s funeral, he’d felt darkness tugging at his vision whenever he was in his bedroom, but was too tired to care about Something’s presence. Now, though, he’d spent the whole day having fun with his friends, and they would be here for the first time since the Incident.
Basil stepped inside, taking in the sights. His bedroom, once flooded by the tendrils of Something, had barely changed at all since the days before Grandma’s death. However, Polly had moved his bed to be beneath the window, and a few posters had been moved around. His camera sat prominently upon the dresser, covered in dust. Breathing in through the mouth and out through the nose, Basil entered silently, sitting on his mattress. “Y-y-you guys want quilts?” He tried to distract himself from the growing fear in his belly - what if being here caused some kind of relapse for him? Worse, what if it brought back bad memories for his friends?
Kel felt unease gnawing at him as he crossed the threshold, but kept it hidden well and pushed down memories of his previous visit to this room. “Sure, but I can grab them myself. Polly showed us where they were last time.”
Basil’s nails dug into his lap, which was, thankfully, covered by his thick set of cargo shorts. He opened his mouth to say something - maybe it would be best to just clear the air, talk about the incident, and try to move on-
“It’s fine, Basil, neither of us wants the bed.” Aubrey laughed lightly and put a hand on his shoulder. She hoped she was hiding her anxiety about the whole situation well. When are we going to talk about… things?
“A-alright, then.” Basil twiddled his thumbs as Aubrey went to go pick up the quilts. She wasn’t eager to leave him alone (worse than alone - he was alone with Kel), but Kel deserved one-on-one time with Basil. He was as much his friend as he was hers.
“Basil, I’d like for you to answer this honestly - are you okay?” Kel wasn’t smiling now.
He really didn’t want to worry his friends, but it was pointless to try and lie now - even Kel could see through it like glass. “...No, I’m not. But I think things are getting better.” Basil offered a small, honest smile. “What about you, though?”
Kel did an internal double take. Now there was something he didn’t hear often. Usually, he was capable of hiding from even Basil, but the air was already so tense - he wasn’t sure if he could keep up the facade now. “Nah, actually.” He flopped onto the bed beside Basil, who looked at him worriedly. He admired Sunny’s ability to listen silently without any judgment even more now. “I mean, I shouldn’t burden-”
“No. Tell me.” Basil cut him off. He didn’t want to see Kel hurt anymore.
“Fine, then.” He laughed humorlessly. “It’s Hero.” Basil winced a little, but kept his composure. Kel seemed completely focused on whatever he was talking about. “After Mari died, he was like Sunny for a year. Barely ate, never talked, always slept, didn’t go outside. Then, when I tried to get him to come out… well, you know the story.” Indeed he did. It was one of the few things he and Sunny had talked about before the latter was dragged away by the nurses. “Still, I thought that was it, and he’d changed. Now, he was going to properly process his grief in a healthy way. But I guess the confession reopened those old wounds and made new ones.”
Basil’s grip on his knees tightened, but he tried to keep a calm exterior. Like he had on the day Sunny killed Mari, he had to stay strong for his friends. Kel continued, “Hero went back to college. He’s not communicating as much; doesn’t want to talk about when he’s coming home. I get that he needs time, but I still wish he was here .” Basil was taken aback at the resentment in his friend’s voice. He wanted to apologize (again), but decided against it - this wasn’t about him.
“H-hey, he’ll come around eventually, and then you can have a talk with him about all this. Hero’s Hero, he’ll understand!” Basil’s wobbly smile betrayed the nervousness he felt when thinking about Kel’s brother. Sunny had never offered advice unless prompted when Basil vented to him, but he figured that Kel probably wanted it right now, considering his aimlessness.
“Yeah… it just hurts.” He groaned as he propped himself back up. Conveniently, Aubrey shuffled back into the room, holding two comically large quilts. She had to tilt her head back to even get her nose above the top of her pile.
In a muffled, nasal voice, she said, “Hey, guys. Got the quilts!” Judging from the tenseness in the air, it would be best not to pry into whatever they’d been discussing. Kel switched back to his signature grin, feeling a little better after his brief chat with Basil, while the flower boy helped them get set up. Although Kel had claimed they wouldn’t mess up Basil’s sleep schedule, the friends still broke out his old collection of Captain Spaceboy comics.
Under the light of the hallway and nightstand lamp, they read and chat. It wasn’t quite like his quiet nights with Sunny, where Basil would narrate mystery novels in silly or serious voices and they’d laugh lightly at his antics. This was louder, less focused and more chatty. But, he had to admit, it was nice.
Eventually, Polly’s brunette head poked in through the doorway, and she told them it was approaching midnight. “I’m glad you’re having fun, but it’s important to be well-rested! The school year is starting soon!” She told them sternly, but nonetheless with a warm smile.
Basil groaned as he was reminded of the fact that school would be starting again. His grades, once rather pristine, had slipped into B’s, C’s, and D’s after the day of the recital. “Chill, Basil, it won’t be so bad - we won’t let it, not with us around!” Kel beamed as he gave his blond friend a gentle punch on the shoulder.
“Yeah. Let’s just go to bed now. I’m sure Polly will have a nice breakfast ready when we wake up.” Aubrey smiled gently, trying to be a bit quieter now that it was time to sleep. Kel had no such weaknesses, maintaining his universally loud voice.
Basil crouched by his bookshelf, putting away their comics and facing away from his friends as a click came from the corridor and the lights went out. Kel unscrewed the lightbulb from the lamp before apologizing and turning it off like a normal person. The room was left in total darkness now - guiltily, Basil admitted that the shadows felt less oppressive when his friends were with him. It doesn’t matter if I deserve this or not, he reminded himself.
After they returned from the bathroom, freshened up to sleep and climbing under their quilts, Basil heard his friends’ measured breathing - the day had clearly tired them out. What if they hadn’t liked it as much as he did? He had to be exhausting to be around - but they’d been around him regardless.
Trying to assuage his worries, Basil stood from his bed and walked to his bathroom, recalling how he’d begged Sunny to not leave him. Why did I think shouting ‘Please don’t leave me!’ at him as though that would make his mom decide not to move? Chastising the least unsound logic he’d displayed during those four years, Basil pulled on a loose t-shirt, shorts, and socks. Basic, but better than the time he’d had Sunny sleep over and worn overalls to bed. He hoped that hadn’t imprinted that idea on his friend, though it was an admittedly funny visual.
Basil looked at himself in the mirror. He still had a bandage or bruise here or there, light bags under his haunted eyes - but he looked significantly healthier than he had just two months prior. Low bar, isn’t it? Chuckling a little to himself, he returned to his bedroom and confirmed that Aubrey and Kel were both sound asleep, having forgotten to bring nightclothes. He climbed into bed, curling up beneath the warm covers. The moon cast long, window-shaped shadows upon the floor. There was still so much to be said, but, right now, it was peaceful.
🌻
Aubrey would’ve disagreed with Basil’s sentiments if she knew of them. She awoke with a start, glancing at the digital clock on the dresser. Three AM. Kel was fast asleep next to her, but that was no surprise. She’d had the same nightmare as yesterday, finding Basil’s corpse beneath the window in his bedroom. But he was here, now, safe, in his bed- he was not in his bed. The covers had been practically ripped off of it, trailing onto the side she couldn’t see.
There was a faint whimpering coming from behind the empty bed, though. Slowly poking her head around, Aubrey saw Basil huddling against the wall, clutching his blankets against his chest. His eyes were exhausted, but wide - she wanted to back away when she realized his teal eyes were glowing.
Four years ago, she’d feared that he would hurt her like he did when he erased the photo album, and she’d converted that fear into anger. Now, she’d realized how stupid she was acting, fully realized her fear for Basil, and that overpowered any kind of childish shock at his appearance. Besides, they were probably just catching the light. She crawled over, reaching out to him. His eyes flitted around the room, not even seeming to realize she was there. He’d clearly just woken up, and his breathing was ragged and panicked.
“Basil? Basil, it’s me.” Aubrey tried to keep the worry out of her gentle voice. “It’s Aubrey. You’re safe.”
Basil’s eyes finally focused on her, but didn’t seem any less distressed, though he had a resigned air about him. The sound of drops of sweat splashing onto the floor intermitted his shallow breath. “W-w-where’s your bat?” He asked, voice barely above a hoarse whisper. Before Aubrey could inquire as to what the hell he meant, he buried his face in his knees, shuddering softly.
Aubrey slowly reached out to hold onto Basil’s shoulder, hearing him whispering under his breath. Once again, there was no reaction from him when she touched him.
“Basil… you’re awake. You’re not dreaming.” She tried to keep a measured voice. Did she still have a bat in his dreams?
He slowly lifted his head to look at her, sniffling. She wiped tears from his eyes, trying to give him a reassuring smile to hide her concern. After a display like this, Aubrey had to know. She had to. “I swear that I’ll never hurt you again, Basil. You’re safe. I promise.”
“I-I told you, th-there’s no trouble. I deserved every moment, and knew that.” He gave a probably-trademarked wobbly smile. “It’s why I never fought back, why I sought out the hooligans, why I l-let out my breath at the lake…” Aubrey’s eyes widened as he confirmed every suspicion she’d had. “Why I l-l-locked myself in my room…” With a hiccup, Basil pressed his jaw into his knees, trying to cover himself with his blanket. He was… he was actually going to… She felt nauseous, but had to be there for her friend.
“Basil… what were you going to do with those shears if Sunny hadn’t arrived?” Kel had snuck up on them again, but Aubrey didn’t find it nearly as amusing this time. His tone and disposition were both uncharacteristically grim as he asked the question both of them already knew the answer to.
“I was going to kill myself.” Basil responded quietly and simply. “I was already going to, before I found out Sunny was leaving - I was just waiting for grandma to die.”
How much of this was your fault? Aubrey asked herself. Cold sweat trickled down her temple, and she looked at Kel’s expression. It appeared pained, as though he knew he was about to regret his next action. “Why did you hang Mari? Why didn’t you just say it was an accident or call an ambulance?” His voice was measured, neutral.
“Wh- Kel, you can’t-” Aubrey was cut off by Kel.
“There’s no point in spreading all this out. May as well get it all done in one go, and I can’t wait any longer.”
“He’s suffered enough.” Aubrey firmly responded, watching Basil shrink further and further into his covers out of the corner of her eye. He wished he’d worn a sweater to bed.
“We’ve all suffered enough, haven’t we?” Kel’s uncharacteristically low voice stayed the same throughout.
“P-please…” Basil tried to raise his hands and quell the argument. Aubrey looked about ready to strangle Kel, and Basil was glad she didn’t have her bat. “S-stop arguing. I’ll explain.” His low, raspy voice was lost on them. Taking a deep breath, he tried to raise his volume. “Stop!”
Both Kel and Aubrey ceased their quiet arguing, turning to Basil after his uncharacteristically loud command. “I’ll… I’ll explain.” He murmured quietly. The silence turned from awkward to deafening. This is going to hurt.
Basil slowly finished tying the noose. Looking down at his handiwork, he gave it a gentle, fearful smile. Afternoon sunlight filtered in through the window to his locked bedroom. All his life, the only thing he had done was burden people. It was no wonder his parents had left him, why he’d never made a friend besides Aubrey - and all he did was trail after her like a lost puppy, providing no value to their friendship. The moment she met someone worthy of companionship, she would realize how useless he was and he’d be tossed aside - again. All her new friends clearly felt the same way, even if they hid it like every caretaker had. Adults or friends, they always left. Always.
His smile turning to a grimace, Basil wrapped the noose around the flower pot and hoisted it into the air.
It supported the weight well - it wasn’t going to snap once he put himself in it.
Basil wondered what Grandma would do, if he wasn’t around anymore. For once, his mind wasn’t racing about all the possibilities, but found itself mostly at ease. If she didn’t have to care for him, she could probably save money and move back to Austria. She was so worried about him all the time, but her health had been on a downward spiral for years. He would help her if he was out of the picture.
Last night, he’d listened to his grandmother shouting obscenities at her son over the phone. It had been something about him suggesting she enter a care facility. He crawled into bed as she reassured him she would never leave him.
Today had passed in a blur - he awoke feeling cold under his warm blankets, the chill of a nightmare lingering on his spine. Basil made it through school but, as he was leaving, spotted a boy with a scraped knee sitting outside the nurse’s office. His parents rushed through the hallway doors, hurrying to comfort their child.
Maybe they’ll come back if I’m hurt. Either that, or I won’t be able to burden people better than me anymore. Basil thought as he stepped up to the noose. Funnily enough, he’d learnt about how to tie one in one of those children’s detective novels he so often read with Grandma. Selfishly, he hoped it would be the first outcome, but this was the only way out that he knew. Perhaps there was some other method, but his focus was single-minded.
Basil took a final, shuddering breath, and looked off the side of the chair he stood on. The thick rope chafed against the soft skin of his neck and blood thundered in his ears - it’s a long way down.
Right as he jumped, feeling his heart lurch, the sound of the wooden splintering reached his ears. A final, pathetic thought filled his head while regret sunk into his belly.
I don’t want to die.
Basil’s hands clung to the rope. His mind seemed to go blank as he vaguely realized his grandmother was rushing toward him. Colors swam across his vision. He knew his legs were probably kicking at nothing. Warmth covered his neck as the noose burnt his skin. Pain should have been out of the question right now, and yet he was in agony.
He didn’t even realize he was breathing, but the pain finally stopped after what felt like far too long. For a moment, the colors in front of his eyes continued to blur and he wondered if he had died. However, blinking away the confusion and trying to reorient himself, he realized he was in his bedroom.
As his grandmother huddled his slowly breathing form, sobbing into his hair, Basil was glad to be alive. Even if it was selfish, he wanted to live. He thought it would stay that way, even more-so when, some time later, Aubrey’s new friends threw him a surprise party for his twelfth birthday and he grew closer to Sunny. There was someone who understood his experiences, finally, someone he could really talk to. Neither of these would stay that way.
🌻
As Basil finished messily recounting the story of his suicide attempt, he finally opened his eyes, which he’d been firmly squeezing shut. He felt the slick of tears on his face, but didn’t bother to wipe them off. “My mind went back to… th-th-then. And I wanted to help him. I didn’t want to be a b-burden, a-and I wanted to help, so I tried to protect… S-S-Sunny.” He was too tired to cry after all that had happened; for real this time, unlike at his grandma’s funeral. “I’m so sorry.” He murmured breathlessly.
Kel looked at the ground shamefully, refusing to meet Basil’s gaze. Aubrey’s eyes were blank for a moment before she wrapped her arms around Basil’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug.
“N-no, Basil, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to tell us about something so personal.” Kel whispered, finally looking his friend in the eye. “It’s just… Hero, and I already had to be there for him after Mari. I felt like I had to know if you were really a friend, after doing that to Hero… I’m sorry.” Aubrey turned to gaze at him, her features softening a little as she saw the regret in his eyes.
Basil gave him a small smile and offered a hand to invite him into a group hug, which he took without hesitation. He gave a small gasp of surprise as Kel wrapped his arms around his and Aubrey’s shoulders, sobbing uncontrollably. Basil awkwardly patted his head. He wasn’t used to being the one who had to give comfort rather than being comforted. Aubrey gave Basil an equally confused and uncertain glance, unsure of what to do when someone like Kel had a breakdown.
For either minutes or hours (it was twelve minutes. Basil looked at the clock.), the friends stayed like that, until they finally pulled apart. “Alright. We should get back to bed.” Aubrey sighed, helping Basil shakily stand up.
Kel got up, too, and they guided a much calmer Basil to his bed. Aubrey sat on one side of the blond, while Kel took the other. “Shouldn’t you guys be going to bed, too?” Basil asked, but his eyes were drooping and he clearly found himself on the edge of sleep. Aubrey gently stroked his hair and Kel kept a hand on his shoulder, making it even easier to accept rest.
"It's all good, Bagel Bites. We'll stay with you till you fall asleep." Kel assured him. The flower boy would probably have offered a weak protest, but seemed too tired. Both Aubrey and Kel had to admit that their midnight meeting had left them rather exhausted, too. After Aubrey laid her head on the pillow next to Basil, tugging the covers toward herself a little, Kel caved and did the same.
Basil’s last thought before drifting off was thanking Polly for being a heavy sleeper, and hoping she woke up later than they did so she wouldn’t walk in on… this.
Notes:
Mentions of suicide/graphic depiction of suicide attempt start and end w/ 🌻
Well gamers, it's been more than a week, but I've got another chapter out. I have some definite issues with it, but that could be said for everything I produce. I feel like I'm exploring Basil's childhood problems very early, but this is also something I think everyone would want to get out of the way as quickly as possible. That aside, I do have to go back and make a few minor retcons and adjustments here or there.
Thank you for your feedback so far - this fic has even made it to 50 kudos! Also, I'm going to get greedy here and ask for more feedback. Comments tell me what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong, and are just helpful in general. Give me validation/criticism/both, please.
Finally, if you like Sunflower, I've received permission from FireOfPies to advertise his Discord server based around the ship. Here is the link: https://discord.gg/dwKjKBZa
Chapter 5: New Friend
Summary:
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Notes:
Whoa, no CWs this time?
This chapter was beta read by the glorious UdonPuddle (https://archiveofourown.org/users/UdonPuddle/pseuds/UdonPuddle) instead of either of the usual ones. Thank you for your help with this one, Udon.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Basil had always been an early riser, so he surprised himself when he woke to a late morning sun shining through his window. He felt the heat on his face and went to rub his eyes when he realized his arm was trapped under something. Glancing to the left, he felt his face heat up further when he spotted Kel quietly snoring right next to him, under the same blanket. Basil figured he probably looked like he was going to melt as he realized Aubrey was to his right, steadily breathing. Both had their arms wrapped around him in some awkward setup, but he found that he didn’t mind the touch. No, he actually quite liked it, albeit in a platonic way.
Aubrey’s hand was buried in his hair while Kel had draped his arm over his chest. Basil shifted beneath them, hoping to get up and start breakfast before they could insist that they help. At the same time, he sort of wanted to stay here.
Polly poked her head in through the open doorway, winking at Basil. “Hey, guys. I decided not to wake you up sooner; you just looked too cute!” She entered, laughing at his mortified whine. His caretaker was carrying a tray laden with two mugs of coffee and one of black tea, which she set down at the foot of the bed. Aubrey and Kel stirred, exchanging an embarrassed look as they realized what was happening.
“Uh… sup, Basil. Had a good sleep?” Aubrey tried to play it off like the three of them hadn’t just woken up cuddling. She took her arms off him, but didn’t move away.
Kel sat straight up like a jackknife. “Whoa. I don’t remember my room looking like this.” He looked down at Basil, who was still under the covers up to his neck. “Ohh, I’m still dreaming. Th-” He glanced at Aubrey. “Nevermind, guess it’s a nightmare.”
Polly laughed at their antics as Aubrey called Kel a nightmare, and the friends disentangled themselves to get ready for the day.
Basil was the last to emerge from the bathroom, having pulled on a collared green t-shirt and white golf shorts. Aubrey, unsurprisingly, had the previous day’s jacket and jean shorts, while Kel wore his usual clothes. The former of the two had refused any of Basil’s oversized sweaters, though Kel happily borrowed the blue pullover he now had over his basketball jersey.
They sat around the dining table, where Basil finished his now-lukewarm black tea. “So… I wanted to apologize again for last night. I shouldn’t have tried to make you confess because I was hurting.” Kel rubbed the back of his neck shamefully.
“I understand, Kel. I forgive you - actually, I think it might’ve helped!” Basil replied. He understood and didn’t want to worry his friends now that he realized ‘I deserved it’ usually wasn’t appreciated. The look of relief on Kel’s face was something Basil did appreciate, though.
“Also, we didn’t say it yesterday, but we should’ve come with you to the funeral.” Aubrey’s caring gaze made Basil want to wither away. This is too much. Why are they doing this?
They’re my friends. Are they? Maybe?
Kel nodded. “This sounds pretty terrible, but I was still distracted by... everything going on. Wasn't thinking too hard about the funeral...” He rubbed the back of his head shamefully.
Basil responded with a smile. “Really, I understand, guys. It’s alright, I didn’t hold it against you.” He looked to the side sheepishly. “Well, I kinda did, but then figured that it was my fault- uh, I mean, I changed my mind.”
The two friends gave Basil amused grins. “I guess it’s progress.” Kel took a sip of his empty mug, chuckling softly.
All of them could smell Polly’s cooking from the kitchen, steam slowly drifting through the air. “Breakfast is ready, everyone!” She called, bringing over a tray with several plates of hash browns, tomatoes, and eggs piled onto them.
Kel was slightly disappointed at the lack of bacon, in spite of the fact he could eat anything, and Polly laughed as she explained Basil was a vegetarian. The friends dug into their delicious meals while chuckling at Kel misinterpreting ‘vegetarian’ as ‘vegetable.’ However, the whole morning, Basil still felt something weighing on him. “...Hey, Kel.” He said quietly as they finished their food.
“Yeah?” He noticed the unease on his friend’s face.
“I’d like to try and fix your situation with Hero.” Basil rubbed one arm, glancing away.
“N-no, Basil, it’s fine!” Kel said hurriedly, raising his hands and not wanting to put his friend in a situation that gave him even more anxiety. “It’s between Hero and me alone. I’ll sort it out.” He decided not to mention that he’d done it before - talking about Hero was bad enough, bringing Sunny into it would be even worse.
“But I caused it…”
“Basil, please. Let other people handle your problems for once. You don’t have to do this alone.” Aubrey glanced at Kel. “Although, Hero’s our friend, too. We can help you as much as you help us.”
“...Fine.” Kel leaned back in his chair, sighing. “Not sure how you guys plan to support me, but thanks anyway.”
“That’s what friends are for, ri-” Aubrey was cut off when Kel fell off his chair, completely unrelated to the fact that he was leaning back in it.
Sporting a fresh bruise on the back of his head, Kel and his other friends made their way around town - Polly seemed much less on edge with Basil going outside now that Kel and Aubrey were with him. A part of him wanted to spend today alone, considering how hectic yesterday was, but his friends/acquaintances were very insistent.
Even when he wasn't paying attention, Basil noticed the stares people gave him in Fix-It; some were sympathetic, believing that some kind of accident had left him and the very popular Sunny in such a condition. Some were suspicious, wondering if he was behind it. Some just seemed curious. However, attention was attention, and he hated it.
The friends lazily walked the streets of Faraway as the noon sun beat down on their backs. Basil tugged at the collar of his shirt; at least he hadn't worn a sweater like the one Kel now had around his waist, or the jacket Aubrey slung over her shoulder. Chatting idly, they eventually realized they were right by the park. “Hey, looks like Mincy’s over there!” Kel said excitedly, jogging over to a noirette girl sitting on a bench with a sketchbook in her lap. “Mincy, it’s me, Kel!”
“O-oh, hi, Kel!” Mincy closed her book, looking up. Kel offered a fist bump, which she shyly reciprocated. “It’s been a few weeks since we’ve spoken, huh?”
“Yeah, but I’m back now! Mincy, meet Aubrey. Aubrey, meet Mincy. Basil, m- no, Mincy, meet Basil…” This continued for several awkward seconds as Kel tried to introduce Basil and Aubrey before realizing the redundancy of that statement. As he walked to stand next to Mincy, he discreetly whispered, “Don’t mention Sunny or Hero.” She was confused by this, but trusted Kel.
“So, these are your old friends that you talked about?” Mincy recalled her occasional chats with Kel at the park. He always had a wistful air when describing them that made her wonder if they’d all drifted apart, despite the fact that Sunny, Hero, and Aubrey were all with him just recently.
“Yep, sure are!” Kel let Aubrey and Mincy shake hands. Aubrey had a wary, but respectful gaze, while Basil seemed nervous. It was better than the haunted expression he’d worn the previous night, at least.
“‘Sup. Aubrey.” She decided to introduce herself again, not content to let Kel fill that role; she’d actually met Mincy several times before, but, funnily enough, hadn’t properly given her her name. Mincy moved to shake hands with Basil, who finally met her gaze. She gave him a small smile, which he returned.
“My name is Basil. B-but Kel already told you that, hah…” He unintentionally mimicked Aubrey.
Mincy chuckled a little. “I’m M- oh, almost made the same mistake!” She had to admit, she was a little distracted by how strange all this was - first she saw Kel, Sunny, Aubrey (who’d been fighting Kel and Sunny), Sunny, and Hero (who was years older than the others) together, then Sunny and Hero vanished, and then Kel and Aubrey, along with Basil, who she’d seen Aubrey bully, showed up out of nowhere.
“My friends don’t bite, Basil!” Kel lightly elbowed the flower boy, who still appeared rather anxious. Mincy got that feeling a lot around strangers. “Anyway, Aubrey and I were going to go to Gino’s or grab some ice cream or whatever. You two have a good time!”
“W-wait, what? Hey!” Basil turned around indignantly as Kel dragged a confused Aubrey away. “Don’t… leave me.” He let out a sigh as they rounded a corner, though it had less abandonment issues behind it this time.
“So, you’re Basil?” Mincy sat back down, patting the space behind her on the bench. She seemed friendly enough, he figured. Apprehensively, he took a seat and glanced at her sketchbook.
“Y-yeah, that’s me.” Unfortunately, he sarcastically thought to himself.
Mincy flipped open the notebook, turning it to a fresh page. “Do you, uh, mind if I draw you? You just have a unique appearance, and… like, in a good way!” She added hurriedly, catching an amused grin from Basil.
“I-I get that a lot. But it’s usually not a compliment.” Basil laughed lightly, and Mincy felt a smile tug at her lips now that she knew he wasn’t offended. “Do you draw often?”
“Yeah! I’m hoping to get into art school next year.” Mincy felt rather flustered as she noticed Basil’s awestruck expression, watching her sketch.
“Wow… you’re already so good.” He said breathlessly.
“No harm in getting better, right?”
“Hah, yeah.” I’d know.
“And, I mean, there’s so many people out there. A lot of them are bound to be more talented, more hard-working than me.” Mincy got a faraway look on her face, as though she’d had thoughts like this before.
“That doesn’t mean you’re not good, too.” Basil tried to give her an encouraging smile.
“Thanks.” Mincy leaned back in her seat, briefly stopping her drawing. She’d just gotten started on Basil’s hair. “It’s just… like, what’s the point? I might be good, but there will always be better people, and it’s pretty unlikely I’ll ever catch up.”
Basil looked away, but quietly responded, “You’ll never get better if you stop.”
She tapped her fingers against her lap before sitting up straight, picking up her pencil again. “I feel like that got a bit personal there; sorry about that… hah.” They both chuckled a little.
“I don’t mind.” Basil reassured her, and the conversation resumed. He rambled to her about his favorite plants, and Mincy seemed to find it enjoyable. She didn’t prod about his slight limp or facial scarring, which he was grateful for. It was nice to just hold a normal conversation with a normal person without the specter of the Incident hanging (haha) over them.
Eventually, Mincy finished her sketch, and presented it to Basil. “So, what do you think?”
“Whoa, this is amazing!” His eyes shone as he took in the details of her hard work. It depicted him sitting on the park bench, hands clasped between his crossed legs, smiling warmly at the ‘camera.’
“Y-you really think so?” Mincy sounded delighted.
“Yes, of course!” He answered incredulously.
“Well, I’m glad you feel that way!” She carefully removed the page and held it out to Basil. “I’ll keep practicing, then. How about a keepsake?”
He took the paper with shaking fingers and, with equal care, placed it in one of the pockets of his messenger bag. “Th-thank you… are you sure you want me to have this? I mean, I’ll try my best to take care of it, but… uh, I don’t know, haha? You’re sur-” He phrased a laugh like a question.
“Yes, I’m sure!” Mincy laughed. “Kel told me you had a photo album, anyway. Those things must be even harder to take care of than a sketchbook.” A distant look crossed his eyes, and she worried she’d set her new friend off, but it passed as quickly as it came.
“Y-yeah… I mean, yeah, I had a photo album.” She didn’t comment on the ‘had.’ “I think I’ll maybe… it’s time to start a new one.” Basil gave her a warm smile not unlike the one in the sketch. “Th-thanks for talking to me today.”
“You make it sound like I don’t want you around! Which I do. I mean, l-like, I do enjoy having you around!” Mincy clarified quickly, raising her hands as she stood up. Basil seemed to understand, laughing a little. “Anyway… I’ve got to head home now. It’s going to be time for dinner soon.”
“Wh- oh, so it is!” Basil looked at the pinkening sky. “Wow, I didn’t even realize.” Does that sound pathetic? I got so absorbed in small talk with a stranger that I didn’t even notice time was passing.
“I’ll see you around, then?” Mincy smiled as she handed him a small note with her phone number on it.
“S-sounds good!” Basil reciprocated the grin and watched his new… friend(?) walk away. Did I just make an… acquaintance? A friend? No way.
Basil quickly walked home, opening his phone to give Polly a call and assure her that he had not gotten pushed into the lake again. He noticed he’d received several text messages from somebody new.
kleloragnejoe: HI ITS KE!L!!!1111 I DONT KNOW HOW TO UNLOCK THE CAPS>>
kleloragnejoe: OH BY THE WEIGH I HAVE A PHONE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!1!111
kleloragnejoe: AUBREY AND I CANT COME BY TODAY< SORRY!!!11!!!! IF ITS COOL WITH YOU WE CAN PLAY SOME BASKETBALL TOMRROW??????////???/
kleloragnejoe: OH ALSO I PLEASE HELP WITH SUMMER HOMEOWROK
kleloragnejoe: WHAT IWS METHAMPHETAMINE????////??? AND HOW IS IT RELATEDD TO PSEUDOEPHEDRINE??????///???? AUBREY IS BEING MEAN TO ME AND SAYING THAT THERE IS NO FEASIBLE WAY FOR PSEUDOEPHEDRINE TO BE CONVERTED INTO METHAMPHETAMINE, DESPITE THE FACT THAT
Basil’s eyes glazed over as he tried to decipher Kel’s grammatically incorrect, all-caps rant. He was rather disturbed by the fact that none of the ‘complicated’ words were spelled wrong.
kleloragnejoe: ANYWAY!!!11!!!!!!11 HOPE YOU SLEEEP GOOD!!!!11!!!! LOVe, KEL!!11!!!
He smirked at Kel’s antics as he typed out a response.
bagelHowToChangeNameHelp: Thanks, Kel! I’ll make sure to sleep extra well, just for you and Aubrey.
…Basil should probably change his username. That had to wait until later, though, as the sun had begun to set and he was probably worrying Polly.
Kel watched the last of the sunlight dip beneath the horizon, plunging this side of the world into darkness. He readjusted his grip on the railing, leaning onto it and observing the fish in the river without paying any real attention. Footsteps came from the sidewalk behind him as Aubrey caught up, sitting down at one of the benches neighboring the hillside.
It was a peaceful spot - the city of Greater Faraway was just across the wide river, which presumably led to the ocean. Despite sewage constantly being dumped into it, people frequently visited it during the day, walking along the concrete path he now stood upon. Fortunately, it was night, and he and Aubrey had the city lights all to themselves. “You gonna talk about it?” She asked. He could picture her leaning back in her seat, one leg over the other, unwrapping a stick of bubble gu- yeah, there’s the crinkling noise.
“Talk about what?” He feigned innocence; he had several ideas, and none of them were pleasant.
“Why’d you ask Basil about Mari last night? Not judging, I think it was good to get it out of the way then, but…”
“Well, you said it yourself. Things were already bad. May as well make them a little worse now rather than later.”
“No, that’s not it. You don’t talk like that. Wayyy too straightforward, sure, but even you never get to that level of bluntness. C'mon, you've already partially explained it.” He knew there was a suspicious scowl on Aubrey’s face. She had heard his half-hearted, bleary explanations last night, but wanted something from a fully awake Kel. It would help keep her mind off the fact that Basil had tried to kill himself, anyway, which had been pulling at her the whole day.
“Fine.” Kel stood up, drawing himself up to his impressive full height. Despite his hopes, Hero was still the taller brother. Wonder if that’ll change the next time he visits. And I will make sure there’s a next time, whether he likes it or not. “It’s Hero.”
“Basil… if he’d never, y’know, done what he did,” Kel continued. He turned around, leaning his back against the railing this time, draping his arms over the edge and placing one foot against the bars. Aubrey’s expression held concern; he’d seen it often recently. “Hero wouldn’t have acted like this. Not then, and not now.”
Aubrey sighed, cupping her face in her hands. It made her cheeks look funny. “Hmph. I get what you mean. No wonder it hurt you to ask, then, huh?” She hoped he hadn’t been lying when he said that he wanted to stay friends with Basil.
“I mean, I also didn’t like putting Basil through that after all he’d already told us.” Kel ran his hands through his hair, grimacing. “Like, I meant it when I said I wanted to be his friend. He’s a good dude. But, having that question of ‘why did he do this to Hero?’ hanging over us? Nah. Couldn’t do that.”
“Well, I can understand that…” Aubrey looked, and was, deep in thought. There were many times where she forgot that Kel was smarter than he let on. “I hope Hero comes around soon.”
“Yeah. He always worked himself so hard, even before everything happened. Hell, that’s probably why he got so close with Mari. And then he started trying even harder… I used to admire it, but now it kinda scares me.”
Aubrey chuckled a little as she remembered Hero when he was younger. “I thought he was like… prince charming, in real life. That everything he did came from talent. Hell, I felt the same about Mari.”
“I mean, they were good at what they did. I don’t want to turn into some workaholic, but it’d still be nice to just become someone as composed as Hero or Mari. He always got trophies, attention, praise. He outpaced me in strength, height, academics - hell, even in the dating game, he was constantly approached before getting with Mari. I’ve had… what, one or two girlfriends? And they were nothing close to being serious.” Kel looked wistfully into the distance, reminiscing about his brother.
Aubrey tapped her feet against the pavement, thinking carefully. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a boyfriend. Never really considered anyone, exce-” She didn’t stop herself in time, slowly being forced to meet Kel’s smug gaze.
“Who’s the unlucky guy?” He smirked, mimicking Mari to a T.
“W-well. Um.” Aubrey was not accustomed to using filler words. “I… uh… I think I’m, like, bisexual?”
“I dunno what bicycles have to do with anything, but I support you.” Kel made finger guns at her. He knew exactly what she meant, but teasing her was too much fun.
“Bisexual, not bicycle. As in, I’m into both guys and girls.”
“Ohhh, okay. Yeah, so, let me guess, it was Kim? Even I’ve seen the weird looks you give her.” Kel’s smirk widened as he spoke, and Aubrey’s slight flush turned furious.
“Wh- I- well, yeah.” She crossed her arms, looking away indignantly. She decided it was best not to mention there was a second person she’d been about to mention. “A-anyway, what about you ?” She tried to shift the subject, giving an awkward impression of a smirk. Fortunately, Kel accepted her invitation without question.
“Pfft, I dunno. There’s a couple of people I’d like to date and a lot of people that I like. Hmm… Cris is cool, I guess, but I’m not sure if there’s anything deep that could come out of a relationship with her. Mincy’s cute, but I don’t feel any real romantic attraction. Basil’s really pretty and sweet, but I feel like he would have a breakdown within days of dating someone right now.” He rambled, Aubrey’s eyes widening as he continued. It wasn’t that much of a surprise he didn’t care about her being bi, but him also being bi? That was a different story. “I’d go for Jay; he’s reliable and his hair is neat.”
“Had no idea you were into dudes.” She commented, unable to contain her shock.
“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess I am.” He replied, sounding mildly surprised. “Anyone else…?” He tapped a finger to his chin. “Well, I guess you’re pretty hot, and, at the end of the day, a good friend.” Kel shrugged nonchalantly, as though this was a perfectly normal thing to say.
Aubrey felt like she might die of heat stroke. Kel, on the other hand, felt rather confused as to why she now looked like a constipated tomato. “Anywho, this has been pretty fun.” He fondly recalled the afternoon spent running errands, skipping rocks and catching up. “How bout tomorrow, I call up Basil and drag him to the basketball court? I know he gardens, but the flower child could really use some cardio.” Kel stretched his arms, craning his neck and starting to walk off.
“Y-y-yeah.” I sound like Basil…
Once he was home and didn’t have to concentrate on walking, Kel flipped open his phone, smiling at Basil’s formal response. He took the stairs two at a time, hearing his mother screaming at the TV in Arabic; if she was upset at the wedding dress show, that meant she was almost done, and dinner would be ready soon. He had a few minutes to spend chatting with his friends.
Aubrey would probably be fine on her own for a bit. She was getting better at controlling, understanding, and accepting her emotions; at least, he thought so, and when was he ever wrong?
Mulling over the many times he’d been wrong, Kel flopped onto his messy bed and dialed Basil’s number - he’d gotten it from Polly. “K-Kel?” His friend's shaky, shy voice answered.
“Yup, that’s me!” Kel excitedly responded. “How ya doin?”
“Pretty good… I think!” Basil added, sounding a little breathless. “Ms. Polly’s just making dinner right now, haha…”
“Awesome, dude! Sorry for leaving you alone with Mincy, but I kinda figured you two would hit it off. How did that go?”
“I-I mean, she’s nice. I feel like I kinda… related to her, I suppose? I don’t know. She gave me a sketch, though. Are we… friends now?” Basil said, sounding as though this had been bothering him.
“Of course we’re friends, Basil! I’m not sure about Mincy, but you guys seem to be getting along well. If you’re not friends already, you will be soon!” Kel assured him.
Biting back an instinctual ‘you really think so?’ because he knew what the answer would be, Basil replied, “Th-thanks, Kel. You’re right. I’m… I’m glad you introduced me to your friend.”
“I’m glad, too!” Kel beamed at nothing in particular.
“There’s, ah, one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“…I think I’d like to take up photography again.”
“That’s great! What are you gonna take pictures of?”
“My friends, I guess?”
“Yeah, I probably should’ve figured!” Kel laughed heartily. “But it’s awesome that you’re getting back into your old hobbies.”
“Thanks again, Kel, for everything you’ve done for me. E-especially after I…” Basil trailed off, unsure where to begin.
“Don’t sweat it, Bagel Bites. This is what friends are for!” Kel smiled into the phone, despite the fact that this was a voice call. Basil imagined his wide grin without much trouble, though.
“A-alright… you’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” Kel felt that Basil sounded relieved by his reassurances, no matter how many times he’d heard them before.
“Indeed you shall!” Kel dramatically quoted Captain Spaceboy, shaking a fist in the air as he made a faux-grimace. Basil laughed a little behind his palms. “You’re going to get exercise, whether you like it or not - and you’ll also meet my other friend, Jay, cuz we always practice together.”
“Okay…” Basil sighed at the thought of getting obliterated by Kel in basketball the next day. “Good night, Kel.”
“G’night, Basil!” Kel hung up right as his mother yelled for him to get his miserable behind down the stairs and set the table. She was a lot gentler when calling for Hero.
I- we’ll get Hero back. Kel thought determinedly to himself.
Basil tucked himself further beneath his blankets, finding himself missing the warmth his friends had provided the previous night. The moon gently shone through his window, throwing light upon his room. After he went back to sleep in the hospital following his coma, he’d gotten up fourteen hours later, feeling genuinely refreshed for the first time in weeks. It was strange to consistently get enough sleep nowadays.
Even though his friends weren’t here now, Basil still felt more at ease than he’d have expected. When an eye of Something tentatively emerged from the shadows, it disappeared as quickly as it came. Of course, he wasn’t fully comfortable.
After waking up at the hospital, Basil had seen Aubrey’s face contorted with fury, barely holding back tears as she barreled out of the hospital room. Hero’s expression was unreadable, before he coldly said, “I should go after her.” And briskly exited.
Kel looked confused and fearful, but tried to mask it with a thin smile. He clapped a hand to Sunny’s shoulder; he’d clearly been crying, and his knees shook as he tried to stay standing. “They’ll come around.” Kel’s voice trembled as he followed Hero and Aubrey.
Finally, Sunny looked up. Basil had braced himself for his ‘best friend’s’ hatred, but his sorrowful expression turned neutral before breaking out into a grin, tears forming at the edge of his gaze. For the first time in four years, Sunny’s name suited him. Basil returned his smile, feeling his vision clear.
From there, the two had spoken about all that had happened. Sunny said he didn’t hate Basil for the eye and for what he did to Mari, actually apologizing for leaving him alone and never sending him to seek professional help. As the nurses dragged Sunny back to his room, scolding him for being out, Basil selfishly hoped that he might still have one friend, even a long-distance one, when this was all over.
But it’d been two months since then, and Sunny still hadn’t contacted him, or, apparently, the others.
Do I even deserve to speak to him, after all I did?
Basil reminded himself of Carlsen’s words, but still felt melancholic as he placed his hands beneath his pillow, supporting his head. He made one mistake, and you purposefully made him suffer for four years. You remembered everything. You could’ve stopped it. You should have considered what you were about to do. Why did you ever think that was a good idea?
Perhaps Sunny simply needed some space, like Kel and Aubrey? After Basil came out of the hospital again, they were immediately there for him again, and even apologized for not visiting. Once more, he felt his gratitude for them threaten to spill over. He certainly didn’t deserve them, but he was glad nonetheless.
And then there was Polly. She’d been extra careful, making the entire house as safe as possible to ensure that Basil couldn’t hurt himself again. He assumed she’d only gotten her information from the police report - Sunny tried to stop Basil from killing himself, and the latter had a psychotic break that resulted in Sunny’s eye being stabbed out. But Polly would inevitably want to know now, not just out of curiosity, but for Basil’s safety.
Polly had put up with him for two years already, always being kind and courteous, insisting he call her ‘Polly’ rather than ‘Ms. Polly.’ She went out of her way to visit him at the hospital, bringing gifts and food. Maybe she really did care for him? Regardless, she had a right to know about what kind of person he really was.
Finally… Mari.
She’d been there for him through thick and thin, treating him as though he were her own younger brother. She comforted him when he spiraled, carefully calming him down. When Aubrey introduced Basil to the group, Mari had accepted him without a single moment of hesitation, even when the rest of the neighborhood didn’t quite like the flower boy. How had he repaid her unceasing kindness and patience?
When Basil had taken out that jump rope, he knew he would hate himself for this; he already did, purely for thinking about hanging her. But Mari was gone, and he could only protect Sunny. He just wished he’d actually protected him instead of burdening him again and defiling Mari’s body and name.
“I’m so sorry.” Basil whispered into the pillow.
Still, though, he knew Mari well. Well enough to know she would want him to move on and accept his misdeeds. This was the least he could do for her, although he didn’t want to make any promises - not after how the previous one had fared. All I can do now is try, I suppose.
Last night, Basil hadn’t had much opportunity to think, quickly falling asleep after a long day and being rather distracted by Kel and Aubrey’s presence. Today wasn’t as hectic as the previous one, but it was nice to sort out his head, even if he missed having his friends close.
Basil hoped Sunny would call or send a letter soon, even if it was probably for the best that they have some distance. Things were finally looking up - and though it may be hard, he’d carry on.
Basil was glad for the dreamless, restful sleep he had that night.
Notes:
CW: baseblal moment (although I'm still not sure if I'm actually going to make Kelbrey happen, it's the only ship Kel and Aubrey are going to be involved in in this story. Again, it'd be a side thing mainly meant to serve as contrast for Sunflower.)
> albeit platonically
Because fuck you, this is still a Sunflower story and Basil is only down bad for one black-haired teenager.Also, damn, our flower boy made it a whole chapter without crying. Let's give it up for him! Things are looking up, too, and this will absolutely not go wrong. Absolutely.
In other news, please leave comments telling me what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. Feedback is my lifeblood. Feed me.
Chapter 6: Water Works
Summary:
you know the drill
Notes:
Whoa, no CWs this time?
Once again, this chapter has been beta read by UdonPuddle, whose work can be found at https://archiveofourown.org/users/UdonPuddle/pseuds/UdonPuddle
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Basil woke up early, far more reminiscent of his usual schedule. An orange glow peeked in through his window, signaling the recent sunrise. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand, seeing that it was around seven AM. He smiled in approval. He’d have to get back to work with his plants soon; he felt quite guilty about letting Polly handle the workload for him. That familiar guilt and fear still clung to him, even though he hadn’t dreamt, but he felt lighter than he usually did. It doesn’t matter if you deserve this or not, he reminded himself firmly.
After stretching and letting out a small yawn fitting of his stature, Basil got up and pulled on a loose, lime-green collared shirt (he… had a lot of those), along with a set of beige cargo shorts (he… also had a lot of those) and white socks. Feeling ready for the day, he quietly exited his room and left a note on the fridge for Polly: ‘Going to the park. Be back for lunch; won't leave the roads. -Basil’. If Polly knew she could call the neighbors to make sure Basil was safe, she'd feel much more at ease. Now that that was sorted, he grabbed his watering can and got to work on tending to the plants.
However, as he prepared to prune the petunias, he remembered that his gardening shears were gone. Murmuring “Dang,” under his breath, Basil reminded himself he couldn’t really blame Polly for that one. He tiptoed his way back into the hallway, walking slowly to stop his socked feet from making too much noise. Basil gently opened the door to his grandmother’s room, where Polly now slept as a live-in caretaker for him, and poked his head in.
It seemed that Polly had already gotten up, as she was sitting in the armchair, reading a book. “Oh, hello, Basil!” She said cheerily, glancing at him. There seemed to be a small hint of panic at the fact that he'd gotten up without her noticing, but he might've imagined it. “I was just about to make breakfast.”
“I-it’s alright. I can just make some cereal.” He hadn’t been eating right for the past few years, so he’d better set up a proper diet now. “I wanted to ask… where are my gardening shears?” Polly’s face visibly fell at this, and he felt himself cringe a little.
She looked away from him before answering, “I’ll get them for you.” in a low voice. Polly took a key from her back pocket, unlocking a drawer, and handed his shears to him. For a moment, Basil thought he still saw fragments of Sunny’s eye clinging to it, but it was just his imagination. With shaking fingers and trying to ignore Polly’s worried look, he took them and walked back into the living room before realizing she had followed him.
I did bring this on myself, I guess… Basil thought, pruning the petunias as Polly kept watching him concernedly.
After handling the morning gardening and eating breakfast, it was already 8:30 or so. Basil said bye to Polly, promising he'd stay in view of the road and hurried to Faraway Park, though he wasn’t sure what he planned to do once he got there. It was far too early to bother Kel or Aubrey, and, besides adults going to work, who would be up by this time? Also, while he was quite sure Aubrey was his friend… he didn’t feel good about it, but there was just a lingering sense of mistrust around her.
Basil’s rhetorical mental question was answered when he turned the corner to the park and found himself face-to-face with a blue-haired teenage girl. She glanced up at him, having been fiddling with a necklace of seashells. “Oh, hello there!”
“Uh… h-hi?” He answered, avoiding the girl’s gaze and looking around for a way to escape this situation. Still, she seemed friendly, and Kel did want him to make new friends…
“My name’s Cris!” She responded in an upbeat tone, smiling. To be honest, this Cris figure reminded him a lot of Kel. She held up a finger, squinting at him as though deep in thought. Just as Basil considered running away to avoid the attention, she said, “...Bagel, right? Kel talked about someone like you often. Cute name, by the way!” She resumed her usual grin.
“I-I… w-what?” Basil sputtered. Dear god. He’d better stamp this out quick, or the whole town would be referring to him as Bagel Bites 24/7. “My name is, eh, Basil… not Bagel.” He corrected her awkwardly.
“Well, that makes a lot more sense, hah!” Cris laughed light-heartedly at her mistake.
“Y-you said you were friends with Kel?” Basil tried to shift the subject away from his cute pet names.
“Yup, indeed I am! I’m quite offended he never spoke about me.” She upturned her nose jokingly.
“He did mention you occasionally, actually…” Basil responded awkwardly. It was already hard to hold a conversation with someone as loud as Kel, and they were childhood friends.
“Alright, then, that’s cool.” Cris reached for the sky, craning her neck a little and narrowing her eyes. “Can’t wait to get out on the water today… do you ever swim?”
“N-no… not really.” Basil decided not to mention that he literally could not swim. “I assume you do? Kel said you were a really good swimmer.”
“I dunno if I’d go as far as ‘really good,’ but I do pride myself on my swimming abilities. Tell ya what, Basil, I’ve found this sick lake in the forest. Secluded, makes for a great spot to hang out.” He cringed a little at her wording. “Swimming’s fun, really!” Cris seemed to believe his discomfort was purely because of the topic of swimming, which it partially was. “According to Kel, you like plants and stuff, but it’s still good to try and develop new hobbies.”
“U-um… I’d love to, but I-I, ah… how do I say this?” Basil whispered, glancing off to the side.
“Can’t swim?” Cris kept smiling; her question didn’t sound rhetorical or mocking. “I’m no expert, but I could teach you!”
“R-really?” Basil perked up a little at that. The idea of going to the old hangout spot scared him, but he felt like he’d be a lot less terrified by it if he could swim. He looked at the ground, thinking. Sunny is brave. He would do it. “Sure, then, I-I guess.”
“Cool! I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes, then?”
Cris seemed rather surprised by the fact that Basil already knew the route to the hangout spot, but he explained that his old friends had visited it often. “What, are you guys not friends anymore? Sorry to hear that.”
“Well, I-I guess that we still are? It’s just that we don’t come here all that often nowadays.” Basil tripped over his words, smoothing over his swimming trunks as they walked. They were green, because of course they were, and he had a bag with spare clothes slung over his shoulder. He’d pulled on a grey t-shirt he was willing to get wet, along with some sandals. He didn’t mind getting water in his eyes, really, so there was no need for goggles.
Leaves gently swayed in the early morning wind as the two of them walked, Cris excitedly talking about her boarding school and telling Basil he should bring his friends here again to swim. The pink sky gradually turned a pale shade of blue, and he could spot the sun through the trees. Thankfully, Cris didn’t comment on his limp or facial scarring, though he could tell she had looked at both. Neither should alter his swimming ability, hopefully.
Basil silently tossed his bag to the ground at the dock, taking a deep breath. “Alright, you ready?” Cris hadn’t changed out of her clothes. He decided not to question that, and simply nodded. “Cool! The lake is kinda cold, so take it slow at first. I’ll catch you if you fall.”
I’ve got firsthand experience with the temperature of the lake. Basil thought grimly. He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Sunny jumped in, and he didn’t even realize he was going to be rescued. He may not be perfect, but he’s still a lot better than you. Be like him.
Then again, Sunny probably had a mental battle with the water, which you can’t do. Just… take another deep breath, then?
Just as Cris opened her mouth to ask if he was sure he wanted to do this, Basil turned his back to the water and slowly lowered himself off the edge of the dock. He let out an involuntary gasp as the cold waves lashed at his foot. Sunny wouldn’t back down. He never backs down. Cris kept a steady eye on him, giving at least some sense of safety. Blinking away memories of his last time here, Basil lowered the rest of his body into the lake, taking deep breaths and trying not to freeze to death. “Doing okay?” Cris asked calmly. She certainly seemed professional, and a friend of Kel’s couldn't be that bad; then again, he would never trust Kel to teach him to swim, so…
Pushing away that awkward train of thought, Basil nodded, “Y-yeah, i-it’s just c-c-cold.” He shuddered, his knuckles turning white as he tightly gripped the dock. He tried to force away his fear - Aubrey hadn’t even meant to push him last time, and now he had someone here to help him. It would be fine.
“Hah, I know!” Cris gently entered the water beside him. She still hadn’t changed into a swimsuit… “Still, it gets easier the more you swim. Now, the water will support you…”
Cris showed Basil the ropes with surprising skill, teaching him to float and kick his legs. He got the basics of swimming pretty easily; in a way, it was fun, and brought an odd sense of pride. Looking up at the sky, he noticed that it was almost noon, which was when he’d have to play with Kel. You don’t have to, he’s your friend. He reminded himself. “Sorry to cut this short, b-but I have to meet up with Kel at the basketball court.” Basil pulled himself up onto the dock, clothes completely soaked.
“Oh, you do?” Cris sounded a little excited. “Is it cool if I tag along?”
“I don’t think he’d mind.” Basil replied, trying to dry himself off with a towel. He’d head home to change, then go to the park. Cris excitedly waved goodbye; she didn’t seem to have a change of clothes on hand.
Somehow, Cris had dried off by the time he arrived at the basketball court, although there was something off. Even though it was noon, and time for him to be here, there seemed to be a distinct lack of Kel. He looked around anxiously, shifting his weight from side to side. Kel wouldn’t leave you. He’s your friend, right?
Besides, he’s Kel, he’s always late.
His mental reassurances did little to assuage the growing pit in Basil’s stomach. “You good, dude? Kel and Jay are probably just late. That’s like them.” He jumped a little when Cris spoke next to him.
“Y-yeah, I know… just nervous.” He chuckled half-heartedly, rubbing the nape of his neck.
“It’s alright. Everything is going to be okay.” Cris smiled and, sensing his discomfort, placed a hand on his shoulder. At that, the pit in Basil’s stomach turned into a sinkhole, and he struggled not to hyperventilate through the lump in his throat.
“Ah… I-I…” Basil glanced away, feeling beads of sweat forming on his brow. How do I get away from this? Cris gave him a concerned look; fortunately, Basil was saved from having to make a humiliating choice by the timely arrival of Kel, accompanied by a tall blond boy.
“Yo, Basil!” Kel shouted, waving animatedly; he was standing five feet away.
Turning to face his friend and, presumably, Jay, Basil breathed a sigh of relief. “H-hi, Kel! I was getting worried, hah…”
For a moment, Kel recalled the panic attack Basil had three days before Sunny left Faraway, and a flash of guilt crossed through him. He kept his expression measured, though, and spun his basketball on his finger. “Hey, Cris! I had no idea you met Basil already.”
As Cris and Kel briefly chatted, catching up on recent events, Basil slowly approached the blond basketball player. “Jay, r-right?” He rubbed one arm with the other; the boy smiled at him, and he was a friend of Kel. He couldn’t be that bad, right?
“That’s me.” Basil was a little glad Jay didn’t share the loud voice of Kel. “You’re Basil, I assume? Kel’s said a lot of good things about you.”
“…Why?” He mentally recoiled. That was a less than ideal choice of words.
Wow, I sound… like a nutcase.
“Uh… he probably thinks you’re neat? I’d assume that’s why you’re his friend in the first place…” Jay cocked his head, looking a little weirded out.
“Ah… yeah, I-I guess.” Basil began to scratch at his arm, hearing the skin whiten.
“Anyway, though, have you played basketball before?” Jay brightened up as he spoke, trying to hide his worry at how the other boy had begun to scratch.
“A few times, but that was years ago.” Basil stopped scratching himself, recalling the times he’d gotten trounced during games with Kel and Sunny. Dragging his thoughts from his former friend, he tried to focus on the current conversation.
"Alright, sorry for the wait!" Basil jumped when Kel clapped a hand on his shoulder. "How about me and Basil versus you and Cris?" He said to Jay, who nodded determinedly.
"Are you sure that's fair? I'm not very good at basketball…" Basil asked uncomfortably.
"It's no trouble. We're just here to have fun!" Kel responded cheerfully, ignoring/not noticing the phone ringing in his pocket. Cris and Jay took one side of the court, while he and Basil moved to the other.
Unsurprisingly, Kel and Basil lost, but it was by a much smaller margin than the latter expected. Kel deftly outmaneuvered Jay and Cris, always sprinting for the basket; though Basil was an obvious weak link, he actually made a few shots and didn’t screw up the occasional pass.
After an hour, though, the entire group (sans Kel) was completely exhausted. Tugging at the collar of his drenched t-shirt and feeling like he’d just been dragged out of the lake, the flower boy collapsed onto the grass, eyes going unfocused. He rubbed at a small scrape on his knee from when he’d stumbled (he assured the others it was fine, and it was). “Ngh… pain. Agony, even. Suffering, if you will.” He murmured, seeing Kel give him a sunny grin as he stood over him.
“That was actually pretty great, especially for a beginner! How bout another round, guys?” He called to Cris and Jay, who were hunched over on one of the benches, the latter having seemingly fallen asleep after their game.
“P-please, no…” Basil groaned, raising his hands in mock surrender.
“Fiiine.” Kel grinned as he helped up the now very sore blond, handing him a bottle of water that he gratefully accepted. Basil, struggling to somehow keep his balance, yelped slightly as Kel swept him off his legs and hoisted him up into a bridal carry.
“K-Kel?” He squeaked, looking up at his friend, who gave him an innocent smile.
“Alright, Bagel Bites, my man, my dude. Where do you want to go now?”
“I-I… wh- um… y-you pick?” Basil didn’t want to deal with decision paralysis right now.
“Okay, how about all of us go pick up some ice cream with Mincy?” Kel looked at Jay and Cris for confirmation, who both nodded tiredly. At least that’s settled, Basil thought to himself.
It felt strange to be carried by Kel like this. But the worst part of Basil's brain still wanted someone else to be the one holding him. Visions of black hair and eyes filled his mind, irrepressible even if he tried. Someone who had something everyone else lacked. Something only Su-
No. This isn't the time. And so, Basil simply let his friend give him a platonic bridal carry.
Aubrey tapped her foot impatiently, leaning back in her chair. The party streamers in Kim’s house draped over her shoulders, but she wasn’t paying attention. Basil is alone. She felt pretty bad about ignoring the hooligans over the past two days, and resolved to hang out with them today. The problem was that, as she should’ve guessed, Kel wasn’t answering his phone. Maybe he set it aside during his game with Basil?
She already felt extremely uncomfortable leaving him alone yesterday, but Mincy was fairly responsible. Now, though? He was with Kel. Granted, Jay would be there, too, but Aubrey didn’t know him all that well, and he was friends with Kel.
I mean, so am I. Her thoughts went back to the previous evening’s conversation with Kel, which he still hadn’t acknowledged. Probably not out of awkwardness, that was just how he was. Tapping her fingers against her knees to try and distract from last night, Aubrey stood, heading over to fill a cup of punch. It was a little ironic that she’d come here specifically to hang out with the Hooligang again, and then proceeded to sit in a corner and ignore them while they did karaoke in the other room.
“Yo, Aubs, you good?” Kim’s voice caused Aubrey to jump, and her red cup clattered into the sink.
“Y-yes. I am.” Aubrey stated matter-of-factly, turning to face Kim.
“No, you’re not.” Kim snorted humorlessly. “What’s up?” She leaned against the counter next to Aubrey.
“Yesterday, I met up with Basil.” Aubrey sighed, deciding not to beat around the bush. Kim’s eyes widened, but she let her friend continue. “Well, the day before yesterday, actually. He seems to be doing better, but I’m not sure if he really has been. And, I dunno, today he’s going to be alone with Kel . I’m just worried.”
“I mean, Kel is kind of a moron-”
“Kind of?”
“-but I doubt he’d ever let anything happen to the blondie.” Kim ignored Aubrey’s interruption.
Aubrey anxiously tapped her fingers against the counter. “Neither has been answering their phones, though, and I don’t have Jay’s number…”
“Maybe they’re just busy right now?” Kim suggested hopefully.
“I’m still worried, though.” She sighed, getting up from the counter. “I think I’ll just drop by the basketball court really quick. Sorry about this…”
“Nah, I get it.” Truthfully, Kim thought this seemed like quite an overreaction. Maybe it would be best to talk to the boss about her feelings for once, though… as Aubrey headed for the door, she called out, “Actually, Aubs-”
Aubrey turned around right as her phone began to ring. Immediately, her hand dove into her pocket, fumbling for the ‘answer’ button. “Yes? This is Aubergine Anderson speaking-” She said quickly and too-formally.
“Yooo! Aubrey! I saw that you called.” Her shoulders sagged in relief as Kel’s voice came through.
“Is Basil doing alright?” She twisted the edge of her jacket worriedly.
“Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t he be?”
“Well, ‘cause he’s with you .” Aubrey tried to keep the relief out of her voice.
“Fair enough. Anyway, though, we’re going to grab ice cream with Mincy, Jay, Cris and Kel later. Wanna come?” She decided not to point out that Kel had mentioned his own name.
“Sure. Where and when, though?”
“No idea!” Kel responded cheerfully, hanging up.
Swearing under her breath, Aubrey turned back to Kim, who had raised an eyebrow at her, looking concerned. “So, everything’s fine?” Kim asked.
“Yeah. Sorry about that…” She took a deep breath, chiding herself a little.
“Cool, cool. About the business w-” Kim was, once again, cut off.
“Jesus Christ, is The Maverick™ singing ‘The Only Thing I Know for Real?’” Aubrey took no notice of her right hand’s inquiry, rushing over to the next room. Any time Mikhael tried (keyword: tried) to sing, you were in for a good time, especially if it was a video game OST.
At the very least, Kim reflected, Aubrey seemed to be back to her usual self now that Basil was confirmed to be safe. Unease lingered over her, though - the boss seemed to be a little on edge at all times.
As the party drew to a close and Aubrey left to meet her old friends, Kim turned to the Hooligang. “Alright, guys, listen the fuck up!” She called, trying to climb onto the table. Vance wordlessly helped her up. Giving her brother a nod of thanks, she started her speech. “We’re going to host another party.”
Kim was interrupted by Angel wooping loudly, and she cut him off with a sharp glare. “...As I was saying, we’re going to host another party, but this time, we’ll bring in the flower boy. I think Aubrey’s worried about him, and if he’s nearby, she can keep an eye open at all times. ‘Sides, it can’t hurt to make up with him, right?”
Vance gave a small nod, agreeing with the plan. Charlie mimicked the gesture with a tiny smile on her face. Angel had disappeared to grab another can of Orange Joe from the cooler - this was his way of showing support for an idea. The Maverick™, on the other hand, began a long-winded speech on how he would secure the flower boy’s everlasting love. “We are all agreed, then. Let’s talk about this with Aubs, make it a surprise for Basil, and hopefully sort things out.”
Aubrey jogged up to the roadside ice cream stand. It was just a little ways away from Faraway Plaza, still lined by the trees on its backside. Dusk delivered a pinkening sky crisscrossed by thin and frail clouds. The stand itself was a cheerful yellow color, and the roof had the shape of an overturned waffle cone. Basil, Kel, Mincy, Cris and Jay sat on the sidewalk, having already bought their own treats. It should have, all in all, been a peaceful scene.
One thing caught her immediate attention, though.
Sprinting up to Basil and skidding to a halt, Aubrey knelt down next to him, staring at a small scrape on his knee. “A-Aubrey? Are you alright?” He stammered, seeming a little weirded out by her sudden concern. Kel raised his eyebrow at her, while the others waved in greeting before returning to their meals.
“Basil? What happened to your knee?” She spoke quietly, fishing around in her back pocket for a band-aid.
“Oh, I just fell earlier. It’s nothing major, really…” Basil glanced away from her. Why does she care so much? He thought to himself, concerned by her concern.
“‘Nothing major?’ Of course it’s major, Basil; what if it got infected, or you had a more serious injury?” Aubrey looked up at him fearfully, gaze flicking to Kel. “And Kel, all of you have to be more careful!”
“Basil’s right. It really is a tiny scrape. C’mon, this is normal.” Cris spoke up before Kel could - he looked worried, but not necessarily about Basil.
Aubrey tapped her fingers against her knees for a moment before relenting, reconsidering the situation. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Uh, sorry for the… overreaction.” She took a seat next to Basil, awkwardly realizing she had no money.
“I-it’s okay, Aubrey. I got you a watermelon cup; I-I hope you still like the flavor.” Basil gave her a small, but knowing smile as he handed over a container of watermelon ice cream. She accepted it gratefully, prying the plastic spoon out from under the lid.
Aubrey hadn’t had much of a chance to reflect on Kel’s words yesterday. Right now he seemed completely absorbed by his Orange Joe-flavored ice cream. Does he really not care? How much of his blatant stupidity is just a front? These weren’t questions she’d rather not have answered the hard way , but, some day soon, that might be necessary. She tapped her heels against the concrete. Why on God’s green earth did she have to feel this way about him? What did he even have? Kim was extremely loyal, smart, empathetic, and, unlike Kel, actually attractive.
Kel was… excessively loyal, surprisingly smart and emotionally intelligent and… well, shit. These were feelings Aubrey had buried years ago, when she thought her old friends had abandoned her. Cringing internally at the memory, she resolved to… deal with this. When? No idea, she was going to postpone this for as long as possible.
The sun would set soon, and orange flanked the pink sky. Hot, late summer wind blew leaves from the forest along the road. It reminded Basil of halcyon days four years prior; wondered if the friends (Basil was uncertain about this label) by his side now could be like the friends he had back then, if things could, like he hoped, go back to the way they used to be.
Aubrey took a small bite of her ice cream. The cold, lined by small ice crystals, contrasted the muggy air. It was delicious. She looked to her left, spying Basil happily bringing a cone of strawberry ice cream to his lips. Aubrey couldn’t even see his mouth, and he gently brushed aside one of his blond locks to avoid it getting in the cone. How the hell could you bully someone like that? She thought bitterly to herself. Then again, how could someone like that stage a suicide and nearly commit murder?
It was unfortunate, but the entirety of the Faraway Gang had skeletons in the closet; some had a whole lot more than others. Even Mari wasn’t perfect - maturity and reflections on the past had shown Aubrey that. For now, though, she resolved to enjoy the view of the setting sun alongside her friends.
Notes:
CW: Cris
Honestly, not much went wrong in this chapter. Basil's just been getting better and trying not to think gay thoughts, y'know? Fortunately for us and unfortunately for Basil, the plot will pick back up soon (which is also why I wanted to upload this sooner than later; that, and the fact that I am attention-starved).
In other news, please leave comments. Speak to me. Inform me of my successes and wrongdoings. feed me
Chapter 7: Bagel Gets Drunk
Summary:
yeah what do you think this one's about. take a guess
Once again, this chapter has been beta read by UdonPuddle, whose work can be found at https://archiveofourown.org/users/UdonPuddle/pseuds/UdonPuddle
Notes:
i miss the content warnings man
Chapters 1-6 have received a fresh coat of paint to make them less unbearable. This includes: Polly being more wary of Basil, grammar edits, Basil having some trouble denying Something at first, and Aubrey only bullying Basil for a few months instead of four years.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Aubs. Aubs. Aubs. Aubs.” Kim said into her best friend’s ear; she’d developed a Kel-like streak recently, much to Aubrey’s displeasure.
“ What? ” Aubrey swung her bat, knocking another can off the table and into the forest. The sun had just begun to rise in the distance, clearing away the night chill. Kim had brought out an old wooden nightstand and some empty cans for Aubrey to hit, thinking it would help a little now that the old punching bag turned out to actually be a good person.
“How are things between you and Basil?” Kim tried and failed to sound innocent, as though she couldn't tell how tense the boss was about the subject.
There was a moment of hesitation before Aubrey responded, “I think he's getting better. It’s just that… I dunno, I’m so worried about him, even if I’m angry about what he did during… the Incident. ” She still hadn’t opened up to Kim about what exactly it was.
“Do you think your worries are justified?”
Instead of a moment of hesitation, Aubrey remained still for a whole ten seconds. Just before Kim spoke up again, she responded, “Yeah. Can I tell you something? Don’t speak about this to the rest of the gang, ever. I don’t want this weighing on them.”
“You can tell me anything, Aubs.” Kim leaned against one of the nearby trees, crossing her arms and trying to hide her growing anxiety about the whole situation. It was rare for her to see Aubrey this nervous about anything, though she seemed to be more open with her emotions recently.
“I just don’t want to burden-”
“I’ll be fine.”
“...Alright. It was always pretty obvious, but a couple of days ago, Basil told us outright. Remember when he and Sunny were hospitalized a couple months back?”
“Yeah.” Kim slowly nodded, feeling dread gnaw at her.
“Well, uh, there’s no easy way to say this… but Sunny fought Basil to stop him from killing himself.” Aubrey smashed her bat into the next tin can with such force that it split open as it flew into the forest.
“...Oh.” Kim’s knees felt weak. Jesus Christ, she thought to herself.
“You’re not going to blame yourself, right?” Aubrey glanced at Kim, clearly worried about her friend. “I dragged you guys into thi-”
“No, we made our choices. It’s not your fault we blindly followed you.” The boss seemed to flinch a little at Kim’s words, clearly disagreeing, but kept quiet. Kim hid her shaking hands in the pocket of her hoodie. We could’ve been responsible for some innocent(?) kid’s death, over photographs. She pushed her anger at Aubrey down - she clearly understood her mistakes by now, considering how worried she was about Basil.
“F-fine. Anyway, I’m just trying to keep a closer eye on him, you know? To make up for the hell I put him through, and all that.” Aubrey wiped a bit of sweat off her brow - can torture normally wasn’t so strenuous for her.
“There’s another reason I asked, besides simple concern.” Kim tried to sound casual, hoping she wouldn’t set Aubrey off. Everything about her posture at the moment screamed ‘tense.’
“...What is it?” Aubrey tensed up further, holding her bat in a hitting stance. There was one can left.
“The hooligans could also watch him. Everybody kinda wants to make up with Basil, seeing as we all liked him well enough before, y’know… anyways, we wanted to maybe throw a small party for him.” Kim scratched the back of her head.
“That sounds great, but…” Aubrey lowered the bat, shoulders slumping. “He’s already nervous around me, and still says he’s not ready to see you guys.”
“We could go for a surprise party, let him leave if he doesn’t wan-”
“No.” Aubrey’s grip around her bat tightened, and Kim was taken aback by the harshness of her voice. “I-I mean, I don’t want to force him into anything, or make him uncomfortable, y’know?”
“Uh… okay, then. Think you could ask him about it?” Kim tried to hide her apprehension. If Basil really was doing better, there was no need for Aubrey to be around him 24/7 - though she could understand her friend’s concern.
“Yeah. I’ll talk to him, but no promises on whether or not he’ll accept.”
“‘Course, Aubs.” There was one last metallic clang as the final can was knocked into the woods.
“Hey, Basil! Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” Aubrey tried to ignore the flicker of terror that flashed across his face when he spotted her.
“No, n-not much is going on right now.” Basil fully opened his front door, standing aside to let Aubrey in. “What’s up?” It was later in the morning, and the cloudless sky had turned blue. Birdsong filled the warm late summer air.
“So, the hooligans still feel bad for how they treated you, and they’d like to make up for it…” Aubrey said cautiously, watching Basil pale as she spoke. “You really don’t have to come if you don’t want to, it’s alright!” She added hurriedly, but he didn’t untense.
“Ah… are you sure they won’t…” He shifted his feet uncomfortably, playing with his hands. The gesture broke her heart.
“They’re not going to hurt you. I swear it on my life.” Aubrey solemnly raised an open palm.
“Well, this is the first time I’ve seen them since June…” Basil’s posture seemed to relax the tiniest bit, though Aubrey wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it. “I guess it might be a good idea to meet them.” He continued to shift his weight from side to side.
“If you’re uncomfortable, you don’t have to. They’ll understand.”
“I mean… it does sound like fun. Going to a party.” The tiniest smile seemed to form on Basil’s face at the prospect. Aubrey reflected on the fact that Basil had probably not been to a proper party since he was twelve - no thanks to her, of course.
Basil couldn’t deny the whiplash he felt from the past few days. He’d exited the hospital determined to finally forge his own path in life, even if he didn’t deserve it. He had expected hatred and ostracism, not… this. As undeniably glad as he was to have Kel and Aubrey back, he also couldn’t block out the fear that Sunny had left - forever. Worse, this would probably be for the best. Aside from that, Hero most likely wanted Basil dead, which he couldn’t really blame him for.
“So, you’re up for it?” Aubrey couldn’t keep the excitement out of her voice. Basil’s racing thoughts barely heard her, though. No, Hero was too mature and forgiving to hurt him. Right? And he had to get over Sunny, no matter how much he wished that Sunny could be the one telling him everything was going to be okay and that it, for once, wouldn’t be the other way ar-
“You okay?” Now Aubrey looked nervous. Basil realized his palms had grown white as he gripped the door. Not as scary as you think… not as scary as you think.
“A-aha, yeah. Just nervous. I’ll come to the party.”
“...Alright.” Aubrey gave him a knowing look. “It’ll be at Kim’s house, five P.M. Kel and the others will be there, too.”
“I’ll be there!” Basil shot her his sunniest grin, which made her visibly relax. Being perfectly honest, the house felt rather empty without Grandma there, so he may as well.
Basil’s heart still raced, but he could do this. They really weren’t going to be mean to him again, so why was he so worried?
Basil hesitated for a moment, staring at the cheesy holiday wreath on Kim’s door. It would be a lot easier to just keep looking at the fir leaves than actually knock, but he was only expected to do one of these. Sighing, Basil quietly tapped his fist against the white door, partially (and vainly) hoping they had all forgotten he was even coming. Of course, they hadn’t, and Charlie’s face peered down at him from far above. They stared at each other for a few moments, Basil trying to keep memories of his last few encounters with her out of his mind. “...Hi.” She said quietly, opening the door and gesturing for him to enter.
Apprehensively, Basil took a step inside, looking around. The hallway was decorated with dozens of pictures of Kim and Vance, lit up by yellow lamps on tables. It was a little eerie how many photos they had, but, considering his own choices of decoration, he wasn’t one to judge. He could hear the sounds of… something in the living room.
A voice Basil recognized as Angel’s shouted, “Out of the way, Kim! Your foot is in my face!”
“That’s not my foot, you moron!”
“Then whose-”
“Mine, bitch.” There was a strangled cry from Angel as Vance’s gruff voice cut him off.
Basil cautiously looked through the doorway of the living room. The coffee table had been moved aside. In its stead was a Twister mat, occupied by a tangle of limbs that may have once been the hooligans. Vance’s foot was now on Angel’s face, silencing his shrieks. Aubrey sat on the couch, watching them bemusedly. “Unhand my apprentice, ye vandal!” The Maverick™ called, although his voice was muffled by Kim’s leg pressing down on his torso.
“You mean, unfoot your apprentice?” Aubrey laughed.
“This is no laughing matter!”
“hnggjdrfl” …Angel seemed to agree with The Maverick™ on this one.
“Basil’s here.” Charlie murmured, catching Aubrey’s attention. Her face lit up when she saw him.
“Hey, Basil!” She gave him an excited wave, standing up and walking over Vance, Kim, The Maverick™, and Angel, who all collapsed in on themselves with a combination of grunts and squeals.
“H-hi, Aubrey. Are the others here yet?” Basil glanced around, hoping that at least Kel had arrived.
“ Yes. ” Aubrey’s voice was uncharacteristically dark as she looked at the kitchen behind Basil. He turned around just in time to see Kel and Cris sprint out, holding several bottles of vodka and Orange Joe in their arms.
“Yo, Basil!” Jay was behind them, carrying… the entire fridge on his back. “Kel, Cris and I figured we’d get things set up for a real party. Mincy’s still picking some stuff out in the kitchen.” They all gave him sunny grins.
“Ah…” Basil wanted to tell them what a terrible idea this was, but couldn’t find the words. Aubrey opened her mouth, intending to do what he could not, but was interrupted by The Maverick™.
“Heathens! Apple Steve shall always be the superior caffeinated artificially fruit-flavored beverage!” He called, leaping to his feet and pointing accusingly at Kel, who gasped.
“Now he’s done it.” Cris hissed under her breath, watching the carnage that was about to unfold.
“You know what? When I said you weren’t my archnemesis… I take that back.” Kel set down his Orange Joe, picking out a single can and bottle of vodka. Kim and Vance watched him and The Maverick™ worriedly, while Angel looked like he was about to combust from excitement.
“Uh, Basil… you may want to exit the blast radius.” Aubrey put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched a little, and she hoped it was just from surprise. Basil glanced up at her, looking slightly fearful of what was happening in front of him, and nodded, retreating towards the couch.
The Maverick™ and Kel squatted on opposite ends of the coffee table, the former slamming down a can of Apple Steve and two shot glasses. Mikhail had adopted a classic Slav squat, while Kel went for a traditional western-style variant. Each shot a death glare at the other as they poured vodka and their drink of choice into a glass.
“This feels like a sudden escalation…” Basil commented.
“Quite standard by Mikhail’s standards.” Kim replied, sighing. Kel and The Maverick™ each took a shot, then poured a second set of glasses.
“Anyway. Wanna play Mario Kart?” Aubrey turned to Basil.
“...What’s Mario Kart?”
Basil spent the next hour or so violently finding out what Mario Kart was. Charlie and Cris watched, not wanting to get involved, while Vance stayed away, knowing he would curb stomp his friends. Aubrey, Kim, Angel and Basil played through the entire map selection several times over; somehow, Basil didn’t always end up in last place, although he could still only really compete with Angel. He kept his eyes focused on the screen, trying to ignore the fact he was surrounded by people who had tormented him. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was extremely uneasy, jumping a little whenever one of the hooligans bumped into him on the couch.
In the background, Kel and The Maverick™ had consumed nearly a dozen bottles of vodka without stopping. Jay sat at the middle of the coffee table, ‘mediating’ the contest.
Beaming with pride as ‘Third Place - Bagel’ flashed on the screen, Basil turned around to make sure Kel and The Maverick™ hadn’t died yet. Both had continued their staredown, exchanging insults, but were, somehow, still going. “Guys?” As soon as Basil spoke, the duo turned to face him. “Where’s Mincy?” He figured she’d just been taking a while with ‘picking out’ snacks, but one hour was… rather long.
“No id-” Kel was cut off when a clinking noise came from the window.
Everyone turned to face it, and The Maverick™ shouted, “Interloper!” right as it opened. A figure, silhouetted against the setting sun, held a lockpick in one hand and a small… thing in the other. It leapt up onto the windowsill, exposing itself to the light.
“Uh… Mincy?” Aubrey’s inquiry went unanswered as Mincy, eyes wild and hair ruffled, raised the writhing raccoon to the sky.
“A spectre is haunting Europe - the spectre of communism. All the powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Tsar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies.” She shouted, waving the raccoon, which was foaming at the mouth and desperately trying to escape her iron-tight grip.
Everyone watched her silently for a few moments before Jay slowly stood up, walking to look into the kitchen. “Guys? The rest of the alcohol is, uh… missing.” He called as Mincy continued to recite the entire communist manifesto, word-for-word.
“My god, I had no idea Mincy was based!” Cris whispered breathlessly, not paying attention at all to what Jay had said.
“Jesus Christ on a fuckin’ bike…” Kim pinched the bridge of her nose, watching the scene unfold. “Welp, at least we’re all in one place! Vance, can you make sure nobody gets killed and maybe set up a drinking game?” He responded with a thumbs up.
Basil tugged at his collar, feeling rather apprehensive at the idea of a drinking game; his heart leapt into his throat as Kim turned to him. The whole day, she’d seemed a little more apprehensive than the others. Understandable, he figured. “Also, it’s cool if you don’t wanna. It’s always good to have one sober person at a party. But you don’t have to do either, you know?” She added hurriedly, not sounding used to this kind of talk. She probably wasn’t.
“Um… I’ll try and participate. Haha.” He couldn’t keep the nervousness out of his face or voice, but did his best.
“If you say so!” Kim smiled, not sounding at all confident but accepting his decision nonetheless. Basil looked behind her and realized that, somehow, Vance had already managed to get everyone into position. He gingerly made his way to an open spot in the circle, sitting down on the living room carpet with his legs crossed. A single bottle of beer was in the center of the group, and a shot glass in front of each person. Basil glanced at Aubrey to his left, looking apprehensive under her determination, and Kel to the right, appearing no worse for wear even after consuming enough vodka and Orange Joe to kill a middle-aged elephant.
“...Now what?” Vance asked after several moments of silence.
“No idea.” Kim responded. “I guess we, uh… all pour a shot, ask questions, and if you’ve done the thing the question is about, you take a drink?”
A general murmur of agreement went up from the circle.
“Cool. So, I guess we get started now?” Kim said.
“There’s something we should probably do first.” Vance reached under the sofa, pulling out a black pouch of sorts. Eerily, the hooligans all turned to face Basil, causing him to shrink a little in his seat. Aubrey placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
“W-wha-?” Basil was cut off when Vance opened the pouch, revealing a small stack of money.
“We tried to estimate how much we, eh, stole from you, rounded it up and added some extra. It won’t make up for what we… did… but we wanted to do something for you.” Kim explained.
“I used weeks of allowance for this!” Angel said, sounding both disappointed and proud of himself.
“Are you sure-” Basil wanted to back away when Vance pressed the pouch against his chest, but Aubrey kept him rooted in place. He was a little glad for it, really. Basil examined the contents: upwards of seventy dollars, easily. Money had never mattered much to him, but his other friends… well, Aubrey valued her pride. For now, he’d hold onto it. “Ah… alright, then.” He offered a grateful smile as he pocketed the cash.
Aubrey and the hooligans all looked a little surprised at how quickly he accepted, but returned to their usual expressions afterward. Cris and Jay seemed confused, saying nothing, while Mincy was trying to challenge her new raccoon to a fistfight. “Welp, let’s get this show on the road!” Kim slapped her knees. “Charlie, start us off!”
“T-take a shot if you’ve peed in a pool.” Charlie said, trying to sound confident. She and Basil exchanged a look of absolute horror as every member of the circle took a drink (he had to admit, it was nice when both of them were scared rather than just him).
“I shall go next!” The Maverick™ called, catching a glare from Kim. “Consumeth thy beverage assuming that thou has-”
“Dude.” Vance deadpanned.
“Take a shot if you’ve ever viewed hentai.” The Maverick™ grumbled, taking a drink. A chorus of groans came from the rest of the Hooligang, sans Angel.
“What’s-” Angel began to ask, but Aubrey clapped a hand over his mouth.
“Shhh… you don’t need to know that.” She hissed.
Basil hesitated before saying, “Involuntarily.” And taking a shot. The others looked at him, mystified. Aubrey seemed apprehensive, although it was more at the fact he could get drunk than concern at his viewing habits.
“Basil, you shouldn’t be-” She began.
“C’mon, live a little.” Kel elbowed her gently. She pulled at her fingers worriedly; Basil didn’t like seeing her like this, but this was getting a little extreme. From the other partygoers’ confused glances, they seemed to feel the same.
“Aubrey, I’m turning seventeen next February. I can handle this.” He told her with a small smile.
“...Fine.” She sighed, seeming resigned.
“Anyway, what do you mean, involuntarily?” Kel asked, returning to the original topic.
“Sunny had some… private drawings.” Basil shuddered. He really did not need to remember those. And, being perfectly honest, he didn’t want to remember Sunny. It just reminded him of all he’d lost.
At this (and following a flicker of discomfort Basil may have imagined), both Kel and Aubrey burst out laughing, while the others, who didn’t know Sunny as well, were still confused. “Oh god… I never took him as the type to…” Aubrey was slapping her knees, out of breath. Nobody had noticed Mincy casually taking a drink.
This is going to be a long night, Basil thought to himself. Considering that just one shot had already made his head feel fuzzy, though, it might also be a very short night.
The coming hours passed in a blur. Basil found himself growing dizzier and dizzier, but there was something intoxicating about being around so many people at once that made him not want to stop. In a weird way, this was… fun.
Basil was barely even lucid for most people’s funny stories, but he recalled Mincy taking a shot for ‘if you’ve ever shot someone,’ Cris taking one for ‘handled live explosives,’ Kel for ‘been bitten by a wild animal’ (no surprises there), Vance for ‘been stabbed’ (Basil was glad Sunny wasn’t here for that one), Kim and Charlie for ‘done drugs,’ Angel for ‘bitten a wild animal’ and The Maverick™ for ‘streaking’ (Basil felt lucky he wasn’t around to experience that one).
Aubrey seemed uncomfortable with the idea of allowing Basil to drink; he felt a little insulted, honestly, but could see where she was coming from. Constant reassurances by Basil and Kel were enough to keep her at bay, fortunately.
As the night wore on, everyone grew progressively more drunk, excluding Charlie, who tapped out of the game at some point. Basil knew he’d probably be grateful to her in the morning. He wasn’t sure when, but eventually they switched games to Truth or Dare, probably suggested by Cris.
“Alright, uh, if you wanted to do truth, then… are you - hic - gay?” The Maverick™ asked Basil.
“Yes.” He answered, although he was more focused on figuring out whether it was The Maverick™ or Kim in front of him.
“ Score. ” The Maverick™ pumped his fist, while Cris said it was pretty obvious, earning an elbow from Jay.
“Okay! Hic - Mavis. Truth or dear. Dare. Dear.” Aubrey seemed barely able to stay sitting up, and Basil doubted she could stand. At least she couldn’t try to stop him from drinking…?
“Truth. I mean, dare.” Even The Maverick™ had begun to sway, while Kel was passed out in a corner. It seemed this round had gone to the baker.
“I da- hic -re you to run… to the schooool. And jump in the pool.” Kim slurred, slowly trying to make hand signals at The Maverick™ (and failing). Surprisingly, she was one of the less drunk people at the party.
“Pfft. A simple task, befitting of a mortal.” He crossed his arms.
“Fine. Brush Lenin’s hair, then.” Kim rolled her eyes and pointed at Mincy’s raccoon, who’d recently received a name. It was sprawled across its ‘owner’s’ lap, an emptied shot glass wedged between its jaws.
“...Can I do truth instead?”
“You little-”
“Alright, everyone. I think… that’s enough. Especially for you, Badil. Bagel. Based.” Aubrey sighed, trying to get up from the couch, falling, and having to be held up by Charlie. The few partygoers who were still conscious groaned. “Basil, I’ll walk ya home.” He couldn’t deny that he felt a little disappointed, but this was definitely the more responsible option.
“Aubrey, you’re about to pass out.” Charlie chastised her. “I’ll take you home. Kim and The Maverick™ can walk Basil back.”
“No, I can…” Aubrey tried to protest, but audibly groaned and rubbed her head. “...Fine.” While Charlie brought her outside, Kel abruptly sat up, eyes flying open.
“I need no assistance on the way home. I am a construct of nature, an absolute machine.” He said monotonously before collapsing on the ground again.
“...We should probably call Kel’s mom.” Cris remarked, helping Mincy stand up. Lenin was perched on her shoulder, idly chewing on the shot glass. Vance mumbled something about helping Angel get back, dragging the boy behind him like a ragdoll as he exited. Jay had disappeared at some point in the night.
“‘Kay. Let’s, uh, get this show on the road. Mav?” Kim stumbled to her feet, looking at The Maverick™, who was trying to adjust his wig. Basil wasn’t sure who was who, but he was quite certain he was looking at Kim and The Maverick™.
“Understood, Kimberly.” He shot up, alcohol poisoning forgotten. Basil tried to get to his feet, the world spinning around him, and squeaked when he felt himself being lifted into the air. Looking up, he realized The Maverick™ had literally swept him off his feet and now had him in a bridal carry. He felt like he should be more concerned about this fact, but right now, Basil was just tired.
“Ah… hello?” Basil raised an eyebrow at Mikhail, who was currently attempting to follow Kim out the door. Or was it Cris? Either way, she had just walked into the door rather than out of it.
“Salutations, Flower Boy. Rest assured, no harm shall come to you so long as I, The Maverick™, am your guardian.” The Maverick™ tried to sound gruff, hindered by the fact that his voice cracked halfway through.
In spite of the fact that it looked like the world was put into a blender, Basil still realized they’d ended up outside. Something vaguely resembling the stars was splayed out on the night sky, and lamps dotted the street like eyes. Let’s forget about Something and eyes for now, alright? Basil thought to himself.
“So, uh. Bagel. I mean, Basil.” Kim shook her head. Basil could, despite his excessively drunken state, tell she was still apprehensive around him. However, the tension drained from her posture once she continued speaking. “The gang and I really are sorry. We had no idea, but that’s not an excuse…”
Kim scratched at the back of her head, Basil feeling a little confused. Surely they weren’t all that torn up over bullying him, right? Hadn’t Aubrey told them he deserved it? Have more faith in her. She cares about me. Probably.
The Maverick™ nodded solemnly, continuing off Kim’s words. “We truly do apologize for our actions, beloved Flower Male, and hope to, one day, make it up to you.”
“Sorry that we never visited you in the hospital, by the way.” Kim said. “We just didn’t think you’d want to see us.”
“We tried to get Aubrey to go, though!” Mikhail piped up. Oh. No surprise she didn’t want to come, Basil thought.
“Yeah. We were so confused as to what the hell was going on.” Kim continued. “Nobody really thought Aubrey would just do something like that at first, but…”
Basil didn’t like the memories this brought back. “Nobody’s perfect.” He commented quickly.
“Of course.” Kim replied. “But we were in disbelief, ya know? We would have done anything for Aubrey, and…”
Basil hoped she didn’t notice how labored his breathing had gotten. He fidgeted in Mikhail’s grasp, looking around. They were approaching his house now. “We thought there had to be something else to it. Something behind all this.” Kim continued.
That was a bridge too far. Basil squirmed in Mikhail’s arms. “I-I can walk from here.” He said hurriedly, trying to free himself.
“Are you sure?” Mikhail seemed eager to make sure Basil was comfortable, so he set him down.
“Y-yes!” Basil said, a little too hastily. Kim was watching him, seeming fidgety. Please just let me get away from here… he thought.
“Alright, then. You sure you don’t want us to come with you the rest of the way? It’s not far.” Kim cocked her head at him. Basil was already hurrying to his house, stumbling a little but trying his hardest not to seem helpless.
“It’s fine. P-please.” Basil turned, raising his hands placatingly. Mikhail and Kim stared at him, seeming confused and a little fearful, but didn’t try to follow him.
“Damn. I guess it shouldn’t have been a surprise he was still uncomfortable around us.” Kim sighed, running a hand through her hair, watching Basil speedwalk away. Mikhail twiddled his thumbs guiltily.
Basil forced the key into the lock, twisting it desperately. He turned it to the left, but heard no clicking.
Turn. Nothing. Turn again. Still nothing. Turn. Something was stirring in his gut.
Turn to the right. Click. Idiot.
Wiping the sweat from his brow, Basil put his keys in his back pocket and entered his house. Inside, it was dark. Polly had seemingly gone to bed - good. He locked the door and tried to navigate his unlit home, still stumbling and shuddering. Calm down. Nothing is wrong. They didn’t mean anything by it. It’s just a coincidence. Why are you scared? Stop it. Why are you doing this?
This route should be clea-
“Shit!” Basil swore, clutching his stubbed toe. A more unideal time for an injury there wasn’t, seeing as he really didn’t need Polly to find him drunkenly walking into furniture at midnight.
“Basil? Basil, it’s two in the morning.” He hissed, shielding his eyes as he was blinded by Polly turning on the lights. So, it wasn’t exactly midnight. Slowly lowering his hand, he saw a tired, worried-looking caretaker staring at him, dressed in a nightgown.
“H-hi.” Basil responded meekly, feeling sick. His vision had gone dark around the edges; he couldn’t tell if it was hallucinations, drunkenness, or something brought about by both.
“Are you drunk?” Polly sniffed the air, approaching him. Basil wanted to back away, but he had no faith in his coordination by this point. That stirring he’d felt in his gut began to boil, clawing at his insides. His throat felt dry and like it was drowning. The dark edges to his vision expanded, pulling at his sight.
“I… uh…” Basil didn’t like lying, especially not these days. It didn’t matter either way, because he vomited on the floor and collapsed.
Basil slowly opened his eyes, letting them adjust to the light. An orange evening sky was above him, cloudless and with the sun setting in the distance. He sat up, stretching, and realized he was sitting in water. It was barely an inch deep, and crystal clear, stretching out across the entire world. The sun reflected off its still surface, blending perfectly with the sky. Not questioning the fact that he was in an inch-deep ocean, Basil looked to the right, where he spotted Sunny sitting on Mari’s picnic blanket.
“Sunny.” Basil gave him a gentle smile, walking up to him. Sunny had his usual cliff-faced expression, looking up at Basil. “It’s… been a while, hasn’t it? Two months already?” There was no reaction.
“Haha… you’ve always been the nonreactive type, huh?” Basil tugged at his fingers, sitting down next to Sunny. “That’s just… like you.”
A few moments of awkward silence (awkward for Basil, at least) followed. “S-so, uh… how have things been with you?” Basil asked. Although Sunny was staring at him, there was no emotion behind his eyes.
“Well, I-I can go first, if that’s what you want.” Basil said hesitantly. “I’ll be honest, it’s been hard without you here. With Grandma gone, things just feel… wrong at home.” He rubbed his arm. There was still no reaction from Sunny. “But I’m also kind of scared to leave the house, you know? I feel like an outsider. Even when I’m outside… that wasn’t funny, was it?”
“Um, yeah… anyway.” Basil decided to continue. “And it’s just… I’ve been feeling kind of… happy. My friends - uh, Kel and Aubrey - have both been so nice to me, and not having the secret weighing on me anymore - thanks for that, by the way; i-in a good way! Like, thank you for telling the truth. Uh, but, yeah, not having the secret weighing on me anymore is great. But I feel like… I shouldn’t have this.”
Sunny’s gaze seemed cold. He hadn’t been like this when they were kids, right?
“That feeling of freedom. I don’t deserve it. I shouldn’t be allowed any of this.” Basil clawed at his knees, slowly grinding his teeth. “It’s not right… I ruined everyone’s lives.” He looked back up at Sunny, fighting the urge to cry. Not again, you wimp. “A-and it just doesn’t feel like the others would get it. I mean, they’re smart! But you’re the only one who's ever really understood.”
“E-even Polly and Doctor Carlsen… I promise I’ll talk to Carlsen about this.” Basil said hurriedly. “But it’s still not the same. And then Hero… also, Polly deserves to know all this. She’s been putting up with me for so long… w-well, I’m just glad to get all this off my chest.” He sighed, wiping a little at the edges of his eyes. “Thanks for listening to me, Sunny.”
During all that, Sunny’s expression still hadn’t changed, nor had he blinked. “S-Sunny? Are you okay?” Basil asked. “Please talk to me. Just say something…” He waved a hand slowly in front of his best friend’s face. As he moved, a gash formed on Sunny’s eye with a sick squelching noise. He did not react.
“Sunny!” Basil shot to his feet, looking around for something to patch up the wound with. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” He turned back to Sunny and realized he’d gotten up, too, and was now facing away from him.
“Sunny?” Sunny’s posture was unnaturally stiff, and he barely seemed to breathe. “Are you alrigh-” And with that, he began to walk into the distance, steps creating small ripples in the water. Basil watched, frozen.
“W-wait… n-n-no. Please don’t leave me…” Basil raised a hand, but Sunny didn’t even acknowledge his voice. “Sunny! Please! I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you!” He shouted desperately, tears actually forming in his eyes now.
No acknowledgement. Sunny just kept walking, further and further away.
“D-don’t go…” Basil slowly lowered his hand, knees buckling beneath him.
You know whose fault this is. It’s not his, and it’s not Something’s.
It’s yours.
Notes:
FALLOUT AND FUTURE RETURNS (WITH GAY ANGST THIS TIME)
I know it's been a little bit longer than usual, but I've been busy with the final days of school. And aside from that, this is the final pre-written chapter. From now on, I have to complete them, then publish them, so I won't have a backlog to fall back on if I have a busy week or something.
Fun fact: I have, like, zero confidence in this chapter. Let me know about your thoughts on it; was the party sequence any good? Funny, cringey or boring? Was the dream sequence alright, or just uninteresting/bland? I know these are the biggest parts of the chapter, but I don't feel too solid about either of them.
Chapter 8: Bagel Gets a Hangover
Summary:
yeah pretty much
content warning time!!!!!!! check the end notes to find em
This chapter was beta read by both UdonPuddle and SubwayBossEmmett.
Notes:
Well, gamers, it's been a hot minute, huh? Being perfectly honest, I'm not sure if I can keep up my old once-a-week upload schedule, but I'll try. Problem with that is that I'm heading out for a trip in a few days, so it'll be one to two weeks before I can get another chapter out (and I won't have much time to work during that trip, so it could take even longer than that). Apologies in advance.
Also, Chapters 1-6 have been edited so Basil addresses Polly as Ms. Polly. Hopefully those will be the final necessary edits to previous chapters, because I don't like making them.
Also also, I'd like to thank you for reading and leaving feedback, because this fic has, somehow, reached 2000+ hits and 100+ kudos.
In other news, I now have a Tumblr where I post analyses, art and general thoughts. Ask me stuff there if you want to. https://www.tumblr.com/blog/arch-is-screaming
Weekly reminder that my Discord is Arch#5011 if you ever want to talk.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Nngh…” Basil groaned, wiping his eyes. A sharp pain shot through his head and he tried to shield his vision from the blinding light. What’s going o- oh. Yeah.
The events of the previous day and the nightmare that had followed it rushed back to Basil, flooding his mind. He sat up, whining softly and holding a hand to his head. He slowly opened his eyes, feeling them sting as the morning light shined through his window.
…His window?
Basil realized he was in his room, sitting up in a made bed. He looked at the clock, eyes still adjusting to the sun, and cringed as he realized it was eleven A.M. His throat felt scratchy, as though it were filled with needles; he glanced around, finding a glass of water on his nightstand which he gratefully drank. His side ached; was he bleeding? He must’ve bumped into a table last night and been too drunk to realize.
Basil looked down. The wound was small, sure, but it’d still stained his shirt and sheets. He’d have to change both.
Afterwards, Basil glanced in the mirror, realized his face was streaked with tears, and tried to wipe his face the best he could. He tried to clean up the cut and placed a bandage on it. Considering its size and the thick material his t-shirt was made of, Polly probably hadn’t noticed - if she had, it’d already be wrapped up.
Feeling somewhat better, Basil got out of bed, stretching and hearing his back pop. He was still wearing last night’s outfit; he’d better change. After he pulled on a new set of clothes (it was a t-shirt and cargo shorts again, of course) and replaced the sheets with a new set from the closet, he slowly exited his room. He didn’t want to disturb Polly again.
“Basil? How are you feeling?” He jumped a little, turning around to see Polly peering at him from the kitchen, holding a plate of eggs. “I was about to bring you some breakfast, but if you’re not hungry…”
“O-oh! I didn’t see you there, haha…” Basil rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.
“Basil, last night…” Polly began, but he cut her off.
“I-I was drunk. I went to a party and…”
“I know. That’s not it, and I’m glad you’re getting out more.” Polly said gently. “I didn’t want to wake you up, because you needed rest, but you were… saying some things in your sleep.”
“...Oh.”
Does she know? What did I say about Mari and Sunny? Over the past few days, Basil hadn’t spent longer than an hour around Polly, but he saw the sidelong glances she gave him when she thought he wasn’t looking; how she seemed deeply uncomfortable with the idea of leaving him alone. Her caution was warranted, Basil supposed.
“You were saying things about that friend of yours… Sunny, was it?” Polly tried to sound casual, but she clearly knew what his name was. “I know that you miss him.”
Basil tried to act normal, slowly making his way to the dining table and sitting down. He drummed his fingers against the countertop, chuckling nervously. “Aha… yeah. I do. W-what did I say?”
“You were, uh, asking him not to leave…” Polly responded, setting down the plate and sitting across from Basil, who cringed at the memory of his dream.
“I see.” Basil twiddled his thumbs awkwardly.
“Basil, if you need someone to talk to, I’m alwa-”
“I know.” Basil responded curtly, flinching when he saw how hurt Polly looked.”I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude!”
“I’m aware, Basil. You’d never hurt a fl- be unkind to anyone.” Well, Basil had very clearly hurt more than a fly. He didn’t even bother to disguise his mood, slumping down in his chair. “I’m sorry. I know that was personal.”
“‘S fine.” Basil murmured, picking at his food. He hoped it would offer a distraction from the headache still splitting his skull.
“But please, let me be here for you.” Polly looked like she wanted to pat his hand or go in for a hug, but did neither. “Even if I don’t know all the details, I want to help.”
“Thank you.” He responded, not meeting her gaze. She did so much for him; she didn’t need to do even more, and he had no intention of letting her, not when she already had visible bags under her eyes from the stress of blond idiot-proofing the house.
“Now, if my high school years are anything to go off of, I’m sure you didn’t even think about slowing down last night...” Polly tried to act cheery, changing the subject.
“Y-yeah...” Basil set down his fork, finally looking up, which seemed to make Polly brighten.
“Alright!” She clapped her hands together. “How about we head to the store, grab a sports drink or two and buy some sweets for you? How’s that sound?” Polly awkwardly came to the realization she barely knew anything about the boy. He was thoughtful, a gardener, vegetarian, extremely anxious and depressed, and that was about it.
A few minutes later, Polly and Basil found themselves in the supermarket, looking through the aisles. Harsh fluorescent lighting shone from far above, brightening the already white floors and walls. Polly had a small basket containing a few drinks for Basil, having just wrapped up a lecture on how you should stay hydrated when you have a hangover.
Polly looked through the candy available. “What do you feel like?” She asked.
“Huh?” Basil turned around, having been staring at the wall.
“Did you want any candy?” Polly gave him a sweet smile.
“Uh…” Basil tugged at his shirt collar, embarrassed. “Skittles.”
Without skipping a beat, Polly grabbed a small pack of Skittles from the shelf and placed it in her basket. “Skittles it is! What’s wrong, Basil?” She noticed his expression changing.
“I-it’s just… well, you’ve never asked me that before.” He looked away.
“Aha, yeah.” Polly said, trying to keep the shame out of her voice. “I’m sorry that I never tried to get to know you, Basil. Can you let me make it up to you?”
“Uh… s-sure.” Basil nodded apprehensively. “But you already do a lot for me…”
“And I want to do more.” Polly said firmly.
“Alright.” He rubbed his arm, still feeling uncomfortable with how much affection he was receiving. Even if he hadn’t hung the corpse of his friend and stabbed his best friend, he still wouldn’t deserve this kind of care. But if Polly knew the truth, then she’d leave him… she deserved that choice, but his friends, who didn’t leave him despite knowing the truth, also wanted him to get better…
And it was selfish, but he still didn’t feel quite complete without Sunny here. The dream from last night hurt a lot more than his head did, to be frank, and he couldn’t get it out of his mind.
“...sil? Basil? Are you ready to leave?” Polly looked concerned, waving her hand in front of his face.
“O-oh, yeah. I’m just… thinking. And I’ve still got a headache from last night.” Basil didn’t give her the full truth, but he didn’t give her a lie.
“This should help with that.” Polly rattled the small bottle of pills she’d picked up, smiling at him. “Now, are you ready to go home?”
After the duo finally made it back, Polly said something about resting for a moment and went to her room. Basil walked to the kitchen, filling a kettle with tap water and setting it down on the stove. He leaned against the granite counter, thinking about what to do next. His schedule had been completely screwed by the past few days, and he was honestly feeling rather exhausted by everything that had happened. It would be nice to talk to Sunny about all this, but, obviously, that wasn’t an option…
Maybe it’d be good to try and return to a normal routine. Basil resolved to take care of his plants, have a perfectly normal hangout with Kel and/or Aubrey later, and sleep at a normal time. Hopefully his headache would be gone by then, and gardening would keep his mind off the fact that he no longer had his grandma to help him. So, the first thing on the agenda was getting his gardening equipment.
Basil made his way to his grandmother’s old room, now used by Polly, and gently opened the door. He spotted the room’s new owner, quietly snoring in the armchair in the corner. “Ms. Polly?” Basil asked in a low voice, wondering if she was just resting or really asleep. When he got no response, he assumed it was the latter.
Hm.
He could just tiptoe over to the drawer, take the shears and… well, keep them. At the same time, though, Polly had worked so hard to keep him safe from himself, to the point that she basically just passed out. He looked down at the nightstand itself. A small piece of paper rested on it.
A list of chores: clean the living room, check on the knives, prepare dinner…
Yeah, Basil could do these. After all she did for him, Polly deserved rest more than anyone. For now, let’s just water the plants and get started on Polly’s chores, he decided, gently shutting the door and beginning his routine.
Basil slid down the wall, taking long breaths. He set down the bottle of windex, tossing aside the roll of paper towels and examining the checklist. Windows… alright, that was the last one. Thank the lord… Basil sighed. He’d spent the last hour or two cleaning every surface, nook and cranny in the house, reorganizing the pantry, watering his plants, moving some of them outside for optimal sunlight…
At least his headache had disappeared while working, even if the thoughts of Sunny hadn’t left.
Struggling to his feet, Basil looked around the kitchen, which was practically sparkling. It was nice to at least be able to reap the fruits of his labor. He looked to Polly’s room, hearing a yawn before the owner of it emerged. She wiped at her eyes before they suddenly widened, glancing around wildly until they settled on Basil. “Basil? Are you alright?” She rushed over, previous drowsiness forgotten.
“Y-yes, Ms. Polly, I’m fine.” He said, slipping out beneath her grasp as she tried to examine his sore arms for injuries. “I was just cleaning the house.”
“Huh?” Polly looked around and realized the kitchen and living room had been wiped down. “Oh, you did? You really didn’t have to…”
“I just wanted to.” Basil rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
“Well, still… thank you, that’s so sweet!” Polly ruffled his hair, smiling. Privately, she hoped he didn’t mind the physical contact. He seemed apprehensive, but didn’t flinch away. Why did he seem to do that whenever Aubrey came close to him, then?
“I-it’s nothing.” Basil looked up at her. “I was hoping to maybe invite Kel and Aubrey for dinner today; would that be fine with you?” They were both a little stifling, especially with Aubrey’s newfound overprotectiveness, but they were still his friends. Probably. And it’d do him some good - keep his mind off Sunny.
“Of course! You don’t need to ask for permission, just let me know. It’s probably good that you go see Aubrey, anyway. She was calling all morning, asking me to make sure you were okay.” Polly gave him a serene smile as he walked out the door, a nervous spring in his step. On his way out, he grabbed the pouch given to him by the Hooligang. He really should’ve sent Aubrey a text… as offput as he may be by her overbearing nature, he still felt bad for worrying her.
It was afternoon now; the sky had darkened somewhat and a few clouds rolled in, but it remained blue as ever, which was to be expected in the summer. Dimly, Basil wondered what it would be like once fall came around and he had to go back to school. Part of him wanted to just do it from home, but he knew Carlsen would want him to get out more.
Basil made his way down the sidewalk, heading for Aubrey’s house. He knew her parents argued frequently, and, truth be told, hadn’t been surprised when they divorced. Still… the state of her home seemed to have deteriorated further and further since then. Each time he passed it, more trash had built up in the yard and mold had grown on the walls.
Basil looked to his left and realized he was passing Faraway Park. Thought daydreaming was Sunny’s thing. However, his mind was more occupied by the fact that Aubrey was quietly sitting on the swings, looking down at the ground and unbothered by the metallic squeaking.
“H-hey, Aubrey!” Basil waved shyly, approaching her.
“Huh?” She looked up, surprised. “Oh, hi, Basil. What’s up?”
“Well…” He took a seat next to her, feeling the swing barely creak under his weight. Damn, he was short. “I was wondering if you and Kel wanted to come over for dinner today?”
“Sure!” Aubrey gave him a small smile, but cocked her head to the side. “...Why didn’t you just text me, though?”
Basil rubbed his neck. “I… have something for you. Please d-don’t fight this… o-or get mad.”
“Why would I get mad at you?” Aubrey asked. She could think of several reasons, but didn’t want to give the boy a panic attack.
Slowly, Basil reached into the pocket of his shorts and pulled out the small black pouch. He shuddered nervously, looking away as he held it out to Aubrey. “What’s th- oh.” She realized what it was. Still looking anxious, he glanced up at her. “Hey, calm down. It’s fine.” She reassured him, slowly reaching out for the pouch.
Aubrey’s hand brushed against Basil’s and he tensed up, but didn’t flinch away. He didn’t meet her gaze, returning his own to the ground. Aubrey put the money in her jacket pocket and gripped the swing. “You still don’t trust me, right?” She asked, hoping she didn’t come across as accusatory.
“I… ugh.” Basil sighed, shoulders sagging. He closed his eyes, still not looking at her. “Why do you care so much about me?”
“Basil, you’re my friend, and I want to be yours.” Aubrey said gently. She looked at the ground, gaze darkening. “You could have died because of me. The lake… and when you were going to… well, yeah.”
“H-hey, it’s alright. It was my choice not to struggle at the lake, and I probably would’ve killed myself even if you hadn’t bullied me.” He glanced at her with a wobbly smile, which broke once he saw her horrified expression. “…That wasn’t the right thing to say, was it?” His eyes returned to the ground.
“I just wish you’d have let us help; told us earlier.” Aubrey murmured.
“So do I.”
There was a lull in the conversation, the only noise being that made by chirping birds and squeaking swings. Aubrey spoke up again.
“I don’t want to be pushy but please, is there some way I can make things up to you?”
It became quiet again. Aubrey couldn’t see Basil’s face, obscured by his hair as he stared at the ground. His breathing was slow and steady, mouth set in a firm line. Aubrey watched his grip tighten on the swings. She opened her mouth to speak again, wondering if he was zoning out like Sunny so often seemed to do, but he spoke up first.
“…Make it up to me.” Now Basil looked at her, and an unfamiliar expression had settled on his face. Anger. “ Make it up to me? ”
“I-I’m sorry-“ Aubrey responded, startled. She stood up, raising her hands placatingly.
“ Why are you sorry?” Basil hissed, standing up as tears formed in his eyes. “You made a few mistakes that I never even protested against. I ruined your life .” He was raising his voice now. “I ruined everyone’s lives! It’s a fucking miracle I’m into gardening, considering that I kill everything I touch!”
“Basil-”
“You shouldn’t care about me! Do you just not want me dead? All you, Kel and Polly have been doing over the past few days is trying to get me to make new friends, get better… Why don’t you hate me!?” Basil cried hoarsely, sniffling. Seeing Basil of all people with bared teeth was not something Aubrey had expected. However, his sudden fury dissipated as quickly as it had arrived. His posture loosened and he grabbed his arm. “I… I’m sorry, I didn’t… I was just…”
Basil stared at the ground, not looking at Aubrey. She walked toward him slowly, each step seeming to take forever. Her gaze was unreadable, and he looked up at her fearfully. She didn’t like how familiar it felt.
“Aubrey, I…” Basil began.
And Aubrey still wished that Basil hadn’t done that to Mari. She was still angry. But in the face of all this…
Aubrey silenced him by pulling him into a hug, placing a hand on the back of his head. He was limp in her grip. “...Listen, Basil. We’re sad over what happened, but you are still our friend. Just… please. Let us care about you, okay? I- we don’t need a reason.”
For a few moments after that, Basil just buried his nose in Aubrey’s shoulder, shaking lightly. She tried to hide her shock at his outburst. She supposed shouting was still healthier than insisting everything would be okay, at least.
“...Aubrey?” Basil asked.
“Hm?”
“Why do you want my trust so much? You should be the one to not trust me after everything…” Basil murmured. Aubrey felt his tears wet her shoulder.
She gently stroked his hair. “If you regret it this much, you wouldn’t lie again.” She said firmly. He tensed in her grip. “Also, why did you give me the money? I don’t need it.”
“No offense, Aubrey, but you obviously do.” Basil squirmed and Aubrey released him. He wiped at his eyes, face red from crying. “You wear the same clothes, they’re always patched up, and your house is…” He rubbed his arm awkwardly.
“A shithole.” Aubrey finished for him. “You still don’t have to…”
“I do; I want to, anyway.” Basil sighed. “P-please just let me do this… especially after how I shouted at you.”
“That was more like shouting at yourself, honestly.” Aubrey wanted to put a hand on his shoulder, but she feared he’d be upset by the physical contact.
“Well, I’m still sorry. I was on edge after… uh… last night.”
“Did something happen?” Aubrey asked quickly.
“No, I just… had a dream. About Sunny.”
“...I see.”
“Has Sunny contacted you lately?” Basil sounded apprehensive.
“No. I don’t think Kel has, either.” Being honest with herself, Aubrey didn’t think it was a good idea to let Sunny and Basil near each other even if she had been contacted by Sunny. And after everything, her thoughts on the boy were still… confused.
“...Oh.” There was a pause before Basil spoke up again. “Do you think he’s coming back?”
“I’m sure he just needs time.” Aubrey wasn’t sure if she believed her own words or not. Still being honest with herself, she didn’t know Sunny as well as Kel or Mari.
“Do you really believe that?” Basil asked quietly.
Shit, Aubrey thought to herself.
“...I don’t know. But even if he doesn’t come back, you’ll still have us.”
Basil hated how that didn’t feel good enough for him. Why did he have to feel this way? Of course, he was going to have to let go eventually. Even if Sunny did come back, it was healthier to realize that Sunny couldn’t fix all of his problems. And besides, it had only been two or so months, anyw-
“Just remember that Kel, Polly and I are all here for you. We trust you and… we hope you trust us, too. Deal?” Aubrey continued, looking at him expectantly. Basil’s face fell; Aubrey assumed it was because Hero and Sunny’s names were omitted.
…If Basil told her about the album, it wouldn’t do any good now. She’d probably have a heart attack, anyway. He looked up, opening his mouth to say that he ‘understood’ and hopefully get away with that, but his phone rang.
“Basil Altenstein speaking.” He said, keeping his eyes on Aubrey. She still appeared worried, but seemed satisfied. Hopefully.
“Hi!! It’s Kel!” Basil winced, holding the phone a foot away from his ear as Kel shouted into the receiver.
“...I can tell.” He responded dryly. Aubrey gave a small, amused smirk. It was nice to see him regaining his sense of humor.
“Yeah! So, anyway, I was wondering if we could hang out later?”
“I was actually going to ask you about that, but yeah, we could!” Basil paced slowly around the swingset. “H-how does dinner with Aubrey at my place sound?”
“Great!” Kel hung up. Basil stared at the phone, mystified.
“He’ll probably sprint to your house now.” Aubrey chuckled behind him, causing him to jump slightly.
“Y-yeah. Are you ready to leave?”
“Yup.” Aubrey began to walk off, but Basil raised a hand.
“Just hold up for a second…”
“Huh?” She turned to look at him.
“You… you don’t have to treat me like I’m made of glass. I-I don’t want to stress you out, and I think everyone’s getting a little worried by how you’ve been acting.”
Aubrey opened her mouth to respond, but Basil quietly shushed her before continuing. “I d-don’t want you to be mean, of course! But you can act…. yourself around me.”
She stared at him for a few moments. She’d have probably stared a lot longer, but he began to squirm under her gaze. “Alright.” She sighed. “I’m sorry for worrying you…”
“It’s fine.” Basil gave her a small smile. “Let’s get going. Oh, and…”
“Hm?”
“Please don’t put me in a bridal carry.”
“...How did you know I was going to do that?”
Basil opened his front door and jumped back a little when he found Kel’s face several inches away from his own, grinning widely. Aubrey caught him in time and rolled her eyes at Kel. “Okay, why are you standing right in front of the door?” She pushed it open fully, and the friends walked inside.
“I felt like it.” Kel answered.
“Is Ms. Polly home?” Basil sighed and cleaned out his pockets, setting his keys and phone on the counter. He realized he’d gotten a text on the latter; opening it up, he found a message from Polly.
Polly: Hello, Basil! Seeing as you’re meeting with your friends, I decided to head out and run some errands. Make sure to call me if you need anything!
Because Polly wouldn’t leave me alone in the house.
“I don’t think so,” Kel responded, pulling out a chair and sitting down, hands clasped politely. He gave Aubrey and Basil an oblivious smile. “How about food, then?”
“Kel, shouldn’t you be offering to help? Speaking of…” Aubrey turned to Basil, who was already shaking his head.
“It’s alright; my treat for you guys!” Basil chirped. Aubrey tentatively went to sit beside Kel, casting awkward glances at him that he didn’t seem to catch (he did, he just didn’t care).
Basil made his way over to the counter, taking out a small recipe book. His grandmother’s. He felt his eyes burn, but reminded himself he had to keep busy. What did they have in stock?
After a moment spent looking through the pantry and fridge, Basil returned to the cookbook and flipped to the spaghetti page. A classic, to be sure, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Taking a deep breath, he got to work. He couldn’t disappoint his friends. Not now.
Though he only narrowly avoided having a panic attack when he thought he messed up the sauce, Basil got the job done. And it had offered a nice distraction from his thoughts of Sunny; he’d have to deal with them eventually, but for the moment, it was nice to just hang out with his friends.
Basil scooped a final and largest serving of spaghetti onto Kel’s plate. Trying not to squint through the steam, Basil made his way over to his friends and set down their meals.
“This looks great, Basil!” Kel exclaimed, picking up both his and Aubrey’s forks and digging in.
“Christ, Kel…” Aubrey pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Whoops. Did you want your fork back?” Kel pulled it out of his mouth and offered it to her. She stared at him, dumbfounded, before taking it from him.
“So… do you guys like it?” Basil tried to ignore whatever the hell that was supposed to be, playing with his fingers.
“Yeah. You’re a really good cook, Basil.” Aubrey said, giving him a gentle smile and having seemingly forgotten about the fact that Kel had stolen her fork. Kel gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up, mouth too full for him to talk.
Tentatively, Basil lifted his fork to his mouth, taking a bite. It was actually pretty good; the sauce was just spicy enough, not too sweet, and the spaghetti itself was soft without being mushy. “Huh. Not bad.” He said, sounding mildly surprised.
“C’mon, Basil. You always sell yourself short.” Kel leaned back in his chair, having inhaled the spaghetti he was previously chewing. “You’re good at this! Photography, gardening, all that stuff.”
“Oh! That reminds me…” Basil stood up, catching questioning glances from both Aubrey and Kel, and walked to his room. There it was, right on top of the dresser, where it had been for four years: his camera. Dusted, unused for years.
Come on… it’s just a camera. It can’t hurt me.
Basil gulped. He didn’t really believe himself.
Why am I so scared of it, anyway? Because it’s a reminder of the past? I thought I loved the past.
Basil slowly reached for the camera with shaking fingers.
Or is it because I like the way things are now, and I’m scared that this will change them?
He flinched as his skin came into contact with the dusty rim of the lens.
Things have to change sometimes. You can’t change that, Basil.
He wrapped his hands around the edges of the camera, feeling his skin prickle as he lifted it.
Go make some new memories.
Taking a deep breath, Basil walked out of the room and back to his friends. He found Aubrey and Kel having an intense staredown, both pulling back on plastic spoons with spaghetti on them, ready to launch. Neither was blinking, nor had they noticed Basil’s return.
After a moment of hesitation, Basil raised his camera.
Click.
Aubrey and Kel both jumped in their seats a little, flicking the spaghetti in each other’s faces. “Wh- oh, Basil!” Kel immediately forgot about the spaghetti now trailing down his cheek as he turned to face Basil.
“...Did you just take a picture?” Aubrey asked, mystified.
“Y-yeah.” Basil tried to keep the fear out of his voice. What if they got angry? Christ, calm down. They won’t. “You guys just looked too funny!” He laughed lightly.
“We probably did, didn’t we?” Aubrey chuckled, facing Kel.
“Uh-huh. But it’s great you’re taking photos again!” Kel said as Basil took a seat and set his camera on the table. “Maybe we’ll make a new album?”
Part of Basil wished he’d kept the old one, but Sunny needed it more than him. “Yeah, maybe. I’m not sure where to buy it… I could look online.”
🌻
“Damn, you’re becoming tech savvy so fast.” Aubrey laughed. He’s not made of glass, she reminded herself, and gave him the gentlest elbow she’d ever given in her life. Right to the stomach.
There was a horrific sound of wood screeching against wood as Basil rocketed about half a foot to the left in his chair, going from relaxed (by Basil standards) to… this. He stared at Kel and Aubrey, eyes wide and form shuddering. His mouth was open and teeth were clenched. He raised a hand as if to defend himself, sweat trickling down his temple. “I… I…” He stammered, trying to come up with some kind of excuse. He couldn’t let them…
“Basil?” Aubrey asked quietly, looking at something beneath him.
A single, tiny drop of blood. Numbly, Basil realized he’d hit his side against the corner of the table; the same side that the cut from last night was on.
Kel looked dumbfounded and uncertain, but slowly reached out an arm and grabbed Basil’s shoulder.
“Are you injured?” Kel asked slowly, looking into Basil’s terrified eyes.
“N-no!” Basil cried - too quick, too desperate. Aubrey was staring at him, horrified by his reaction, while Kel looked at him with narrowed eyes.
“Aubrey, grab his arm.” He said, sighing. After a moment’s hesitation, glancing between Kel’s suspicious gaze and Basil’s terrified one, she took hold of the latter’s shoulder.
“W-w-wait, p-please, stop!” Basil squirmed in their grasps, trying to break free, but he was no match against two people. There were tears of fear at the edges of his eyes, and they flicked between his captors, desperate for a way out of this.
Aubrey looked away from him; she hated making him feel this way, but letting him hide things probably wasn’t the best idea, considering his mental state. Kel steeled his nerves and slowly lifted up Basil’s shirt, wishing there was a less intrusive way of doing this.
There was a small cut on Basil’s side. Quite tiny, really; it had probably been opened by bumping into furniture or something.
This was not what concerned Kel and Aubrey.
What concerned them was the fact that there were dozens of other, longer and deeper scars around Basil’s midsection.
Aubrey and Kel stared at him. He looked between the two of them, still hyperventilating. “I… uh… please d-don’t tell Polly.”
“Tell me what?” Polly asked, back facing the group as she closed and locked the front door.
🌻
Notes:
Depiction of self harm starts and ends w/ 🌻
In case you couldn't tell, I have no idea what the layout of Faraway Town looks like. Maybe Basil walked to Faraway Park by pure accident ig??
Anyways, I have been having less and less faith in the quality of my chapters as time goes on. Did the scene with the scars feel forced? Did the scene at the swings?
Chapter 9: Marks
Summary:
-iplier
Basil's friends question him.
Content Warnings at the bottom. This chapter was beta read by UdonPuddle.
Notes:
haha it's been like 15 fucking days but i'm back hi guys
Thank you for 100 comments. I did not expect to get this far this fast.
In other news! I have published a Sunflower oneshot. Very angsty, very fluffy: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39850656
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
🌻
Basil stared at Polly, still breathing heavily, while Kel and Aubrey had both gone slack jawed. After what seemed to be an eternity, his caretaker finally turned around, eyes widening as she took in the scene in front of her: Kel and Aubrey holding down Basil and lifting his shirt, exposing a network of scars.
“...Whatever you think this is, it isn’t that.” Basil slowly raised his hands. “Can you… erm… give us a minute?”
Polly and the trio continued their staredown for several moments before she sighed deeply, placing her coat on the rack and walking into the hallway. “You have ten minutes.” She said quietly.
Basil, Kel and Aubrey sat in silence for a second, all avoiding each other’s eyes. They’d dropped his shirt, at least.
“...So.” Kel began.
“I-I’m sorry for keeping this from you.” Basil said quickly. Both Kel and Aubrey just looked disappointed, which felt worse than anger. He was at least pretty used to people being angry at him. “I just didn’t think it would… well, do any good now.”
Aubrey finally met his gaze, opening her mouth, closing it, and then opening it again to speak. “...These aren’t recent, right?”
“N-no!” Basil replied hurriedly. “I walked into a table last night. By accident. That was the only recent one, I swear!”
“Prove it.” Kel said, voice curt.
Basil looked down and, after a moment of deliberation, gingerly lifted up his shirt. He really would rather not do this. Honestly, a selfish part of him felt a little angry that he’d been exposed by his friends after just asking them to not baby him anymore, but it still came from a place of care. They should know.
He could recognize every one of those marks - forty-five of them. With a shaking finger, he pointed at one right below his sternum. “...Th-that one’s… the earliest. It was right before I tried to… uh… hang myself. But you already know that story, hah…” He chuckled a little, too aware that he held Aubrey and Kel’s full attention.
“And after that…” Basil traced a finger down the second scar. “This was when Mari died. I tried to focus on what was real, and I f-felt like I should be in pain, and I had to… well, do something. So I did.” Aubrey and Kel were both stone-faced.
“This one… I went to Sunny’s house a little while after the Incident.” Basil’s gaze darkened as he recalled that day. “He didn’t talk, I got scared and… well, that was when the photos were ruined.” There was no way he could tell them who’d really blacked out the album; not when so much was already going on.
“I felt like I’d be able to keep a clearer head; remember that Sunny hadn’t killed Mari. But it didn’t work.” Basil tapped his fifth scar. “I tried again. And again. But my grandmother came home, so I had to hide.”
For minutes, Basil sat next to Aubrey and Kel, recalling the years he’d spent alone, recorded on his abdomen with a pair of gardening shears and vain hope. Every day, wishing that Sunny would come back, that Mari was still alive, that his friends hadn’t left him. Days where he looked at the fresh bruise he’d gotten from Aubrey’s gang and smiled, because he was helping her. Days where he hoped things would go back to the way they were, but knowing they couldn’t and it was all because he had to be there that day.
He had to save Sunny, even if he went about it the wrong way.
So why had some traitorous part of Basil wished that he wasn’t there that day? That he’d left Sunny to the wolves? Christ, they probably wouldn’t have even thrown him into juvie. He was twelve, after all.
But Sunny didn’t deserve that. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Marks twelve through fourteen reaffirmed this.
And yet, their friends didn’t deserve what Basil had done to them when he took out that jump-rope. Why couldn’t he have just let go on that day and taken the blame personally, even if it meant leaving Sunny? Why couldn’t he have said Mari had slipped? Why couldn’t Basil have just tied that damned noose right?
There was his solution. He’d known it since the start, but kept it close with marks seventeen through nineteen.
But Basil hoped against hope that Sunny would see him again. He walked by the house every day, wishing his ‘best friend’ would come back, that he hadn’t really left him.
The day marks twenty-one through twenty-six had been made, Basil finally realized Sunny was gone, and that was what was best for him.
And the other marks from that time served to remind him that he could never have Sunny, even though Basil knew exactly what he felt for him; that he’d felt it ever since they met.
So Basil tried to stay away. He didn’t deserve Sunny and Sunny didn’t deserve him, albeit for different reasons. He stopped coming by the house. And when Sunny finally came back, Basil knew he couldn’t stick around for long, even before he learned Sunny was moving. That was for the best, though, wasn’t it? Marks twenty-nine through thirty-three.
And then, once Grandma died, Basil lost his last excuse to live.
Basil had to die. Each mark on him reaffirmed this, reminded him of it.
Why, then, did he wait so long in his room? Why did he still wish that Sunny would repay the ‘debt’ he’d involuntarily accrued? Why did Basil just wish that someone, anyone, would come for him, because God, he just wanted to be happy again, even if he didn’t deserve it, even if the world was better off without him in it, he wished things could go back to the way they were before and it was all his fault that they never would and there never was Something, was there, because he was a fool and couldn’t accept that the only person who really understood him was capable of doing bad things, that accidents happened-
Marks thirty-three through forty-five.
Sunny stopped it from becoming forty-six.
Basil was crying.
He did that often, didn’t he?
He lowered his hand from mark forty-five.
“And that was the last one. Two months ago.” Basil hiccuped, trying to maintain his composure. His gaze was now firmly fixed on the table, away from his mistakes and the two people who’d stuck around in spite of them. “At the psych ward, I think I still wanted to, but the security was too tight. When I got out… I don’t know what I was thinking. But I felt aimless and scared, even though the truth was out.”
“A-and then… you guys found me. I thought you wanted to hurt me.” Basil laughed dryly, throat sore. “That’s so like me, isn’t it? But when you took me to Gino’s, I spent a minute thinking about it… and that was the first time I felt happy in four years. It felt so wrong, but I didn’t want it to ever end. I didn’t want to hurt myself and take away from what I felt. I didn’t want to focus on ‘what was real,’ because this was real.”
And finally, Basil looked up with the most fragile and sunny grin he’d ever had. “I’ve had chances to take back my shears when Polly was asleep. But I didn’t. I… I hope it can still be real.”
There was a pause. It seemed to last longer than it really did.
“...Thank you, Basil. I’m sorry.” Kel said quietly. His expression was dark, but there was a small smile on his face. It took Basil a moment to notice the tear running down his cheek.
Aubrey looked like she was twelve again, crying about something anyone else would find silly; the exceptions being her friends. Her lip quivered and eyes were downcast, clearly holding it together by a thread. “...You really haven’t hurt yourself since the fight?” She asked, voice shaking.
“I haven’t.” Basil reaffirmed. “I promise.”
He gasped as he felt two sets of arms wrap around his shoulders. “Just… god, Basil…” Kel murmured, pressing his face into the crook of Basil’s neck. “Promise you won’t hurt yourself again.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“I won’t. Hurt myself, I mean.” Basil added.
“...I just wish you had let us help you.” Aubrey’s voice quivered as she tightened her grip on Basil.
“You’re already helping me more than you know.” Basil responded.
Aubrey was the first to go, hiccuping and then letting out a dry sob, burying her face in Basil’s shoulder. He shook a little as he placed an arm on her back, pulling her in. Kel shuddered, letting the dam break, and Basil tried to soothingly rub his shoulder as he started to cry.
Basil sniffled once, twice, and let the tears flow, small form shaking as he began to sob. His friends tightened their embrace around him and each other, and he let himself melt into it. For a few, precious minutes, he could leave everything behind. The years of pain, loneliness, and fear were washed away in favor of a warm hug with his friends.
Eventually, though, they had to acknowledge reality and pull away from each other. Everyone was a mess, trying to wipe the tears from their faces and smooth out tousled hair. They sat like that for a few moments, sharing a comfortable silence.
“You know… you don’t have to share these things with us.” Kel spoke up.
“Kel, are you s-” Aubrey started, somewhat forgetting her teariness, but he cut her off.
“Yes, I am. These are old scars. He doesn’t need to tell us things like this.” He said. Aubrey looked ready to respond, but Kel continued, “That being said, you can share them if you want to. It’s personal, of course, but if it’s weighing on you or you want someone to talk to…” He gestured at himself and Aubrey. “Heck, Polly’s here, too, and your therapist.”
Basil’s gaze flicked between him and Aubrey, still uncertain. “...You know, I never thought I’d be saying this, but you’re right, Kel.” She sighed, gently rubbing Basil’s shoulder. “Just… remember what I told you earlier, alright? You’ll always have us. If it does you good to share something, then… well, yeah.” She shrugged.
Basil pulled his knees up to his chin. “I…” He wanted to apologize again. “I understand. And… please don’t treat me any differently. This might sound weird, but I was kinda glad when you elbowed me, Aubrey. You seemed more relaxed then than you have for the past few days. Please don’t treat me any differently because of… that.”
Kel took a deep breath before responding, “I’ll do my best. Aubrey?”
“...Yeah. I’ll try.”
“Thank you. Basil replied. The group continued to share that precious, comfortable silence.
“We should probably get going. Let you speak with Polly.” Kel said. Basil nodded, already dreading the talk he was going to have to have with her.
“Alright then.” Aubrey gave his shoulder a gentle rub, everyone seeming more relaxed than before. “We’ll see you tomorrow, then. If you want us to.”
“I’d like that.” Basil said. It sounded more appealing now than it did before.
🌻
Aubrey and Kel headed out the door, waving goodbye as Basil shut it behind them. Gulping, he turned around and looked at the hallway. He was going to have to face Polly now. His friends… they said they’d stick with him, and he hoped to whatever cruel god could be out there that they weren’t lying to him. Not like Sunny had when he made that promise; like Basil had when he said he’d cherish his friends forever.
“...Ms. Polly?” He asked quietly.
“Have Aubrey and Kel left?” Polly walked out of the hall. Her posture was tense and voice terse with worry, but she was trying to keep her composure.
“Yes.” He rubbed his arm. The two stared at each other for a few moments, which was an activity quickly becoming too familiar to Basil.
“...Sit down.” Polly walked over to the couch, picking up the remote and turning on the television. Apprehensively, Basil followed her, taking a seat as far away from Polly as he could.
Basil dug his nails into his knees and tried to watch whatever show was on. Something about kids on a railroad. He glanced at Polly. She was looking at the TV, but her eyes weren’t focused. Basil hugged himself. What was she going to say? What if she decided this was too much to deal with and left him?
No, he should relax. She wouldn’t leave him over this - she already knew he’d attempted suicide and been willing to stay with him. Hell, she’d even visited him in the psych ward, given him books so he wouldn’t be too bored and given him home-cooked meals to replace the crappy hospital food. If anything, confessing the truth to her would be what made her leave.
Oh, yes… the truth. Polly deserved to know what kind of person she was harboring, didn’t she? Basil’s friends had stuck around, but they had been close with him. Polly, though? He’d done nothing but push her away. Still, she should know, shouldn’t she?
The awkward silence between them had grown deafening. Basil realized he had no idea what was even going on on the show by now, having been so absorbed in his thoughts. “Uh, Ms. Polly?” He began.
“Basil, I’m sorry.” She said quietly.
“W-what for?”
“I’ve cared for your grandmother for two years, and cared for you for months. Even in all that time, I didn’t notice anything was wrong.” Polly’s eyes were downcast.
“H-hey… I had a good poker face.” Basil tried to assure her.
“That’s not an excuse.” Polly rubbed her temples. “This is my job , Basil, and I still failed. I should’ve been there for you.”
Basil looked away from her, nervously tugging at his fingers. Why had he been so delusional? Why couldn’t he see how much his death would’ve affected everyone - even Polly? There are so many things wrong with you…
“I forgive you.” He told her, looking back up. “I’m sorry for being so closed off. Keeping secrets.”
Polly gently rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, Basil… If you need to talk to me, I’ll never judge you.”
So many times you have heard those words. They have never once been true, not even when spoken by your own parents.
Although… Polly is different.
…
Perhaps it is worth a try.
Basil gulped, biting at his nails and watching Polly’s apprehensive gaze from one corner of his vision. “...I miss… Sunny. And I want to see him again.” She tensed up. A part of him felt wounded at how little trust she had in him, but it wasn’t like he could really blame her. “I-I know that it probably isn’t the best idea. But I promise that I’ve been doing my best to get better…”
“I know, Basil.” Polly assured him, rubbing his back and seeming to untense a little.
“That’s not the main reason I’m so concerned.” Basil dug his nails into his knees. Here was the kicker. “I don’t… I don’t think he’d want to see me again.”
“Well, Sunny is a sweet boy. He came into your room to save you. Why wouldn’t he be willing to forgive and move on?” Polly’s voice was uncertain. Of course it was; she was talking about a boy she barely knew, to a boy she barely knew.
“I mean that… I’ve done bad things. Besides… the eye .” Basil rubbed his knees against each other anxiously. “And… I don’t think he should forgive me. Every time I tried to help, I ended up dragging us down, and everyone else, too.” Polly’s hand became slightly stiffer on his back.
“Basil… if you had good intentions and you regret what you did, I don’t see why you don’t deserve forgiveness. Everyone can get better. If Sunny did what you did, would you forgive him?”
“Well, yes, but…” Sunny would not. He is better than you. Sunny is a good person.
Good people make mistakes. Good people like Sunny, Aubrey, Hero, Kel. Even Mari. Basil didn’t need to finish his train of thought to know how it would end. “I know him. He wouldn’t do things like this.”
“People rarely know how they’d act in a certain situation unless they’re actually put in it.” Polly said. “And if you found out that you didn’t know him as well as you thought, that he did do things similar to you, would you forgive him?”
Basil tapped his socked feet on the ground. The couch was tall enough and he was short enough for his heels to dangle off the floor, just a little.
Here he was, thinking about how delusional he used to be, while still being delusional, and now mocking himself for both.
What a mess.
“...Yes. I… I would. Always.” Basil’s breath hitched in his throat. He wondered how much pain could’ve been avoided if he had someone like Polly to rely on, who wasn’t of ailing health like his grandma or parents like his ‘parents.’
“And if he’s deserving of forgiveness in that situation, why aren’t you?” Polly smiled gently.
Basil kneaded the fabric of his shorts. So, so long, and so many of his problems seemed so, so simple. Years of this. Because he was too much of a failure to admit to his own.
…And maybe that was okay. Maybe it all could be okay.
Feeling something at the edge of his eyes yet again, but not truly minding it this time, Basil suddenly threw his arms around Polly, pressing his face against her sleeve. She seemed taken aback, but, after a moment, wrapped the boy into a hug. “Th-thank you, P-Polly-!” Basil’s breath hitched. “I-I’m…” He sniffled. “I’m so sorry.” He sobbed, melting into her embrace.
“I’m here, Basil. I’m here.” She rested her head on his, pressing a hand into his fluffy blond hair.
Basil’s throat felt sore. He’d cried so, so many times over the past few days. This song and dance felt more than a little familiar by this point. He sobbed, his friends hugged him, and it got better. But it was enough to change his life so much, so fast. Being honest with himself, he didn’t understand it, but three days had been enough for Sunny to save Basil’s life (again).
For now, Basil hoped more crying wouldn’t be necessary - the hugs could stay.
Kel and Aubrey stepped out into the night, feeling the chill bite at their noses. Aubrey tugged her jacket closer with both hands, struggling to keep her teeth from chattering. Freeing one hand, she took out her phone, finger hovering the ‘call’ button to the suicide hotline she’d saved a few days prior. She looked ahead at Kel, whose eyes were as glazed-over as better. These days, she knew better than to think there was nothing behind them.
Aubrey looked down at her phone again. She could dial the number, get advice from a higher authority, but… Basil had trusted her and Kel with so much, presented vulnerability like he had during that sleepover. This time, it wasn’t really necessary - well, it was, but that was their fault. She cringed a little, wishing there was another way to handle the situation.
Aubrey closed her phone and slipped it into her pocket.
“Cold?” Kel looked over his shoulder at her as they headed down the sidewalk. She could imagine the gears turning in his head - thoughts of what they could’ve done differently, both now and four years ago, thoughts of Sunny, and maybe thoughts of her-
Cut it out, Aubs.
“...No.” Aubrey hoped she hadn’t dilly-dallied too long before responding.
“That’s an obvious lie if I’ve ever seen one.” Kel smiled brightly, stretching with both arms as he walked. “You want my tank top?”
“Kel.” Aubrey said dryly, pulling her thoughts away from the truth for a moment. “You don’t have a shirt under your tank top.”
“Okay, and?”
Aubrey buried her face in her hands, groaning.
“I assume you’re good, then.” Kel shrugged. Aubrey didn’t want to admit how much she liked the idea.
The two walked in silence for a few moments. Aubrey was too used to awkward silences by this point. Better speak up… “I told you letting Basil drink was a bad idea.” She said slyly.
“Well…” Kel rubbed his neck sheepishly, before his face lit up. “Hey, you didn’t take it too well, either!”
“Neither did y- oh.” Aubrey realized her perfect comeback had just failed. “I mean, you and Mav are probably going to end up with extensive liver damage anyways.”
“My life is already damaged, Aubs.” Kel laughed, clapping her on the back.
“We should still keep Basil from drinking.” She tried to steer them back to the original subject.
“You too.”
“You too, then.” Aubrey replied.
“Fine. And the hooligans?”
“...”
“...”
“...You wanna be the one to try and convince them?” Aubrey asked dryly.
“...Maybe just Angel.” Kel decided after a moment.
“Seriously?”
“Alright, it’d probably be best to just swap out his alcohol for soda.”
“Kel, we already do that. That was him on a sugar high.”
“...Oh.” Kel’s following silence was now fearful.
Aubrey and Kel paused for a moment, realizing they’d reached the splitting point where they’d have to go their separate ways. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. We can check on Basil and go to Gino’s, or something like that.” Aubrey sighed, already dreading having to go back to her god-awful excuse for a residence.
She watched Kel wave and begin to walk off. Staring at his back, she wished she could move in with him. Or Basil, maybe, but she’d prefer Kel. Tapping her fingers against her shorts, she thought about how nice it would be when Kel suddenly spun around, mouth open. “Um, actually, Aubs.” There was something on his cheeks, but Aubrey couldn’t tell in the low light.
“Hm?” Aubrey asked, snapped out of her reverie. “W-what?” She hoped she didn’t sound too snappy.
Kel looked to the side, seeming uncharacteristically nervous. “You wanna sleep over at my house?”
Aubrey rubbed her wrist nervously, hoping Kel didn’t have a clear view of her face. The past few days had been hectic, very much so. It’d be nice to just relax with her old best friend. Leave behind all the cafeteria-wide glares and unsaid words from the past four years and be themselves again.
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
Basil looked at Dr. Carlsen’s desk, pulling at his fingers. “So, how was your first week at home, Basil?” Had turned out to be a rather loaded question, which he’d just finished answering.
“Well, I’m glad to hear you’ve reconnected with Kel and Aubrey. Your scars haven’t caused any strain within your relationship?” Carlsen said, tapping his pen against his clipboard.
“I… I don’t think so?” Basil replied. “They seemed alright when they left last night. I think.”
“Right…” The sound of scratching filled the room as Carlsen wrote down some final notes on his clipboard. “Was there anything else from your week you wanted to share?”
Basil tapped his feet against the floor. There is one final, crucial detail you neglect to mention. “...I had a dream. The day before yesterday.”
“Of?” Carlsen looked at him, fully attentive.
“Sunny.” Basil shrunk in his seat a little as he said the name. “None of us have heard from him in more than two months.”
Carlsen nodded, taking notes.
“I just… I shouldn’t, but I want to see him again.”
“Why shouldn’t you?”
“I mean, I don’t know… it probably isn’t healthy, right?” Basil had thought often about what he deserved and what he’d do if faced with this situation. It always ended with him coming back for Sunny, but if that was right or not was a different matter entirely.
“You believe so because you were emotionally attached to Sunny, yes?”
“Yes.” Basil nodded glumly.
“And why did you become attached to Sunny?”
Basil felt like he was repeating himself, but answered, “Well, he understood, I suppose. It didn’t feel like anyone else ever did. I could talk, and he’d listen.”
“And yet you’ve spent the past few days talking, and your friends listened.” Carlsen tapped his pen against his clipboard again. “There are people other than Sunny who can take care of you. They’ve been begging for it, so let them.”
Basil drew his knees up to his chest. All the thoughts of deserving, what was healthy, right, wrong, and what who wanted where and when and how crowded into his mind. Life felt so complicated. There were times he wished he could shrug it off as easily as Kel, but he could tell with relative ease that even Kel wasn’t so simple.
For the moment, Basil stopped caring about what he should or shouldn’t have - he just wanted Sunny. Here, and now. But he wasn’t.
The others, though - they were here. Hopefully to stay. Basil rested his chin on his knees, thinking. Maybe that was enough. Maybe.
So many maybes.
Notes:
Honestly, this whole chapter could use a CW for suicidal thoughts/discussion of self-harm, but the most extreme bits are found within the 🌻 emojis as usual.
This is the first chapter where I actually made use of the summary thingy. hm
God, I have no fucking faith in this chapter. I kind of hate it, to be honest? But I also really like parts of it? But then I think about it more and hate those, too, and switch back and forth.
I hope you guys liked it, though. Was there not enough respite between the marks scene and scene with Polly? Were either of them forced? Did I not make it clear enough that Basil's scars were old, and did it feel like a copout when it was revealed he wasn't actively harming himself? Was the prose purple; was anything OOC; was there anything really wrong with this chapter?
you can probably tell but i'm really fuckin stressed about this one
Chapter 10: Back to School
Summary:
Exactly what it says on the *incoherent screaming*
Notes:
Beta read by MaraschinoFairy. Content warnings at the bottom.
how long's it been,. like, 16 days?? this chapter's been done for a while but i couldn't get a beta reader till now so hhhhhhhhhhhhh
i have no progress on chapter 11. i might. publish ~2k word oneshot, although i need to edit it and run it through a beta reader first
bladesil.. maybe
i've done a little work on another longfic that i'll start once i finish msr;b
fuck.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Kel walked further apart from Aubrey than he was used to. He noticed a spring in her step, even in the darkness, but didn’t comment on it.
The pair were silent as they walked towards Kel’s house. He cursed himself for letting himself slip up. He’d tried to keep the things he felt under wraps, but that wasn’t exactly easy. He managed it at Gino’s when he saw Aubrey gently holding Basil’s hand, he managed it when Aubrey confessed her crush on Kim, but now, minutes from when he was going to actually make his move, he was starting to break.
Kel hoped Aubrey’s strange behavior was because his feelings were shared rather than her just being uncomfortable.
“Uh… we’re here.” Kel rushed toward his house, tried to grab the door handle, missed, grabbed it again, and slammed it open. He stood aside, gesturing for Aubrey to enter. God, he was being so obvious.
Even when they were so close, Kel couldn’t really make out any details on Aubrey’s face, as much as he wanted to make out with it. His parents had apparently gone to bed.
“So, Hero’s bed is open…” Kel rubbed the back of his neck, walking inside and silently pleading for a response from Aubrey. “Or do you want to sleep on the floor?”
“I’ll take the be-” Aubrey was cut off when the lights in the kitchen suddenly turned on. Kel’s mother was standing there, wearing pajamas and looking sleepy; it took him a moment to notice she was also holding a double-barreled shotgun.
“Kel? Oh, I didn’t realize you left.” Mrs. Darwish yawned. Her eyes widened a little as they moved to Aubrey. “Wait a minute, isn’t that the delinquent girl?”
“She’s fine, mom-” Kel assured her. He turned to face Aubrey and noticed her clenched fists and barely-contained anger.
“Didn’t she bully one of your ex-friends? Bagel?” Mrs. Darwish said, crossing her arms.
“...Basil.” Kel sighed. “We’re still friends, Aubrey is also one of my friends, and we’ve all made up. It’s alright, okay?” He put a hand on Aubrey’s shoulder, hoping she wouldn’t do anything too in-character.
“Hmph. Whatever you say, Kelsey. But if she breaks something, you’re paying for it.” Mrs. Darwish wagged a finger at him before heading back to his parents’ bedroom. He supposed it was better than her wagging the shotgun again.
“I’m sorry about her.” Kel told Aubrey, whose posture had relaxed a little. “She shouldn’t be saying those things to you.”
“To me?” Aubrey followed Kel as they began to walk up the stairs. “What about the shit she said to you? You’ve been outside… what, all day? And she didn’t even realize you were gone!” She hissed quietly, so as to not wake up anyone else.
“It’s fine, Aubs! I’m used to it.”
“You shouldn’t have to get used to it!”
“Just drop it, please.” Kel led Aubrey into his room, gesturing at Hero’s neat bed. His side of the room was far cleaner than Kel’s, which had old clothes, food wrappers, basketball memorabilia, and playing cards scattered everywhere.
Aubrey curled her fingers, but seemed to heed his request after a moment. She walked over to Hero’s bed and paused awkwardly. “Uh… Kel, does Hero keep pajamas here?” They'd occasionally borrow Hero and Mari's clothing as pajamas during sleepovers, so this wouldn't be out of the ordinary.
“Well, duh.” Kel said. “Whenever he’s at home.”
“But he’s not at home.”
“Mhm.”
“...”
“Something wrong?”
Aubrey sighed. “Okay, do you have any clean pajamas for me to wear?”
Kel opened up his closet, hoping she couldn’t see the red on his eartips. “Um… yeah. Here you go.” Without turning back to face her, he handed Aubrey a set of striped pajamas. She placed them on the bed and sat down. “The bathroom is down the-” Kel began, but Aubrey cut him off.
“Just keep facing that way. I’ll tell you when I’m done.”
Kel sniffed, crossing his arms as he waited. After around a minute, Aubrey told him he could turn around. The two stared at each other, neither sure of what to do now.
Kel drummed his fingers against his thighs, thinking of ways to break the awkward silence. He hoped he could put on the usual unflappable act as he sat down on Hero’s bed next to Aubrey. “So… Sunny,” She glanced at him, eyebrows raised. “What do you think of him?”
“Well,” Aubrey pulled her knees up to her chin, looking unusually small. “I think it’d be best if he returned. Basil’s been getting better, and having his best friend back would probably help him a lot. I’ll be honest, him coming out for three days, dropping that bomb on us and just screwing off was pretty shitty. He didn’t stay in contact with any of us, and he has to know how much Basil misses him-”
“What do you think of him?” Kel repeated, interrupting Aubrey’s monologue. She looked at him, opening her mouth, closing it, and seemed to think for a moment before speaking again.
“Shit, yeah. Hm... I mean… I’m worse than he is, really. The only reason I never killed someone was out of dumb luck. Mari had a great life before she died, but Basil’s was miserable , and that was largely my fault. Looking back on it…” Aubrey flopped onto the bed, burying her face in her hands. “I think that I can forgive Sunny.”
“Mhm,” Kel agreed. She hadn’t said anything that implied a crush, but nothing that disproved one, either.
“My turn now, though – Hero. I’m still not sure how we can help you with him.”
“Hm…” Kel flopped onto the bed beside Aubrey. “I’m not sure if there’s anything we can do now, but he’s definitely going to be back for Thanksgiving. We could meet him together.”
Aubrey stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
“I… doubt he’s going to be too thrilled with Basil.” Kel voiced her thoughts for her. “Or Sunny, if he comes back before then. I don’t like talking down about Hero like that, but… ugh. Can’t blame him, but I’m still nervous.”
“You think he’s going to be annoyed with us for being so close with Basil?” Aubrey clasped her hands over her stomach worriedly.
“I don’t know.” Kel shrugged, sighing. “My turn again. Have you confessed to Kim yet?”
“N-no.” Aubrey’s face turned scarlet immediately. “Mine again. Have you confessed to Basil yet?”
Kel tugged at his collar. As cute as Basil was, he didn’t feel as strongly for the boy as he did for the girl now sitting next to him. “Ah… pretty sure he’s not into dudes, anyway,” he lied through his teeth, hoping Aubrey had conveniently forgotten the part of the party where Basil told everyone he was gay. Before she could potentially interject, he continued, “Who do you think he’s into?”
“Uh…” Aubrey tapped her chin. “I dunno. He never seemed to be into anyone.” A shadow went over her face as she considered a rather disturbing idea, but it passed as quickly as it came. “Who do you think Kim is into?”
“I see her looking at you a lot.”
“I’m the leader of the gang she’s in, dipshit.”
“Yeah, but still… who do you think Mikhail likes?”
“His preferred name is The Maverick™, and he’s written several poems for Basil.”
“Jesus Christ.” Kel raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah, he’s written a few poems about how he doesn’t need Jesus, too. Who do you think Vance likes?”
“Charlene?”
“No chance, you’re blind.”
“Alright, what about Cris?”
“Oh my god, she is so into Mincy.” Aubrey laughed, twirling her hair around a finger. Kel wondered if this was what teenaged sleepovers with the old friend group would’ve been like if they hadn’t… yeah. “Jay?”
“Oh, I’ve seen him with his boyfriend. Mincy’s brother.”
“Damn, there really are no straight people in this town. Not that I’m complaining.”
“It does make things a lot easier, huh?” Kel grinned. “Angel?”
“I think he’s too hopped up on sugar and rage to even understand the concept of romance,” Aubrey replied.
“More power to him, to be honest.”
“Brent?”
“The outdoors,” Kel responded.
“You?” Aubrey asked.
“I answered that a few days ago. Who are you into?”
“You.” Aubrey and Kel stared at a moment, each feeling the room temperature rise significantly. She opened her mouth to say something, and Kel did the same, but the door burst open and Kel’s dad walked in, hefting an entirely different double-barreled shotgun.
“IRS dogs, you stand no chance against the might of Mossberg!” Mr. Darwish paused his threat to yawn. “Oh, it’s just you, Aubrey.” His eyes flicked to his son. “Hey, Kel.”
As suddenly as he’d entered, Mr. Darwish turned and left. Kel and Aubrey returned to staring at each other. “I meant… uh…” Aubrey began, but stopped. “L-let’s go to bed.”
Reluctantly, Kel stood and tucked himself into his own bed. He didn’t notice that Aubrey also looked disappointed.
Basil’s final few weeks of summer passed in a hazy, happy blur. Kel and Aubrey came around after he returned from Carlsen’s office. Both seemed peppier, but shyer than usual - Basil didn’t question it.
They spent the days strolling around Faraway, skipping rocks at the lake, lazing around in the heat. They didn’t talk about the scars, the truth, or anything. But Basil knew that, if he needed to, he could.
Even now, though, there was a definite chill starting to form in the air. Fall was on its way, and with it, school. Basil tutored a few of the local kids, hung out with Cris, Jay and Mincy when Kel got sick and Aubrey had to take care of him, and even spent an afternoon gardening with Charlie. He liked her more than the other hooligans.
At night, Basil sat on the couch with Polly, watching whatever was on TV. Being near someone he knew he could always rely on made it easier to sleep, and Polly would carry him to bed afterwards.
🌷
Basil tried to eat more. Even if he wasn’t deliberately starving himself, he still wasn’t used to eating a normal amount. Polly was patient, though, and they took it slow.
🌷
Aside from that, he spent a lot of time thinking. Whether he deserved forgiveness or not, Sunny still had the right to withhold it. Was it even correct of Basil to be willing to forgive himself, or was that just his dependency talking? Carlsen felt that, even if that was the case, forgiveness was a virtue. Basil wasn’t sure what he felt.
There was still the matter of Hero, but at least he was bound to Faraway by Kel, and, to a certain degree, Aubrey. Basil’s main worry was how he was supposed to help Kel bring Hero back.
As they passed, the days seemed to grow shorter and shorter. Basil thought of Sunny less, but still often. His doubts grew alongside his fear.
All too soon, though, school started. Basil wanted to be able to spend more time with his friends, so he decided to stick it out anyway, as tempting as homeschooling was. He just wished it didn’t have to be so scary.
The first day started dreary. Gently turning off his alarm, Basil yawned and sat up in his bed, stretching. He looked out his window to see condensation and gray skies.
He had a bad feeling about this.
Basil pulled on a collared sweater and shorts, hurrying out of his room to find that Polly had already set the table with pancakes. He sat down and began to eat, pondering his schedule for the day. He was to meet Kel and Aubrey on the way to school, they’d accompany him through as many periods as they could, and then they’d walk back together, sharing homework and lesson plans. Basil had tried his best to memorize the school day, but kept a copy of the schedule in his pocket anyways. Better to be safe than sorry.
Setting down his fork, pancakes half-finished, Basil checked the clock. He was very early. Still, better to arrive too soon than too late, right? He grabbed his rain jacket, tying it shut and grabbing his already-prepared backpack from a chair by the door. Checking over everything he had - schedule, watch, phone, wallet, keys - he seemed ready to go.
Taking a deep breath, Basil shouted, “I’m heading out, Polly!” and opened the door, starting his walk to school. The sidewalk and roadside plants were already coated in morning dew and the chill bit at Basil’s nose and eartips. He rubbed his hands against each other, tucking them into the sleeves of his raincoat. That limp was still there, but it’d grown less noticeable over the months.
After a few minutes of walking, he spotted Kel and Aubrey waving at him, smiling brightly in spite of the terrible weather. “Hey, guys,” he said as he made his way over to them.
“Hiya, Basil!” Kel patted Basil’s hair, earning a disgruntled whine from him. Aubrey and Kel had also seemed happier recently.
“Oh, don’t be like that.” Aubrey punched Basil in the shoulder - very, very lightly. He gave her a playful shove back as the group began to walk to school together, comfortably silent. The new boundaries were working nicely for him.
“Alright, do you guys know your schedules?” Kel asked after a few seconds.
“Yes. And let me guess, you don’t?” Aubrey cocked an eyebrow at him, receiving a sheepish grin in return. Sighing, Aubrey handed him a printed copy of his schedule. “Knew it.”
“Thanks, Aubs. You’re a lifesaver!” Kel took the schedule gratefully, tucking it into his pocket.
“Aubs? The only person I’ve ever heard you get called Aubs by is Kim.” Basil said inquisitively. Lately, he’d seen Aubrey and Kel exchanging more and more awkward glances, looking away when they realized it was mutual. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that something was starting to happen between them.
“I fail to see what’s wrong here.” Aubrey crossed her arms, trying to feign innocence – and failing at that, too.
Basil looked between Aubrey and Kel on his left and right side. Each seemed slightly redder in the face than usual. For one, precious moment, he let them believe they were free. One second of mercy and no more.
“Do I… sense a little crush?” And then Basil broke into the smuggest grin he’d mustered in years.
“N-no!” Aubrey practically cried, eyes widening. Kel had apparently short-circuited, and was now walking forward with a completely blank smile on his face, hoping that ignoring the problem would make it disappear.
“Oh, c’mon, guys. I just know things like this.” Basil clasped his hands over the back of his neck.
“Heyyy, Basil, look, it’s the school!” Kel piped up, seeming to relax as he found an apparent solution. The school was actually two streets and a corner ahead, but Kel didn’t seem to mind, sprinting forward anyways.
“Well. I’d… uh… better not let Kel win!” Aubrey ran after him, clearly losing due to her smaller stature.
Chuckling fondly, Basil rested his hands in his pockets. The idea of Kel and Aubrey being into each other had never seemed particularly foreign to him. Much as Aubrey adored Sunny, she only hung out with him on his own when nobody else was available. She and Kel, though they hated admitting it, had one of the group’s closest bonds. Until Basil had driven it apart, of course.
Sighing, Basil tried to rip his mind away from the past. He couldn’t deny that a part of him was quite glad at the idea of them possibly dating. You fool. He clearly does not care for you romantically, and never has.
Basil twisted his coat in his pockets, recalling that dreary day almost like this one. It’d been hard not to feel jealous. Back then, his crush on Sunny had seemed so important.
What he hated most was that it still seemed so important. That it was more than a normal childhood crush.
Basil realized he’d been zoning out when he looked around to find himself in a sidewalk corner near a large grove of trees, just in front of a large brick structure. An American flag waved in the wind far above him. The sounds of teenagers chatting before class could be heard, even from outside the school.
Faraway High.
Taking a deep breath, Basil tugged his coat closer around his form and walked towards the entrance. Kel and Aubrey would probably be just inside. He had to do this.
Basil made his way across the courtyard, watching large cliques pass him by, talking idly. Looking at the clock above the front doors, he still had a decent while before the first period of the day. That was good.
“Kel? Aubrey?” Basil called as he entered, shutting the glass door behind him. Linoleum hallways, lined with lockers and lit up by fluorescent lights, greeted him. He pushed his way through the crowds, wondering where they’d be. He had lockers next to them - that must be where they’d be hanging out.
Basil hugged his arms as he looked around. A few more corners, a few more halls, and he’d reach his locker. He felt someone brushing his shoulder – looking to the side, he spotted a boy he vaguely recognized with a standard sneer on his face. Sky blue sweater, formal pants, well-groomed hair. Basil had had his fair share of experiences with people like this.
🌻
Before Basil could say anything, he felt another boy on his other side, trapping him. Unless he wanted to fall over, he had to keep walking with the two of them. “H-hello?” He said tentatively.
“Heyyy, blond plant girl. My best friend.” The boy with the blue sweater said before doing a double take. “Wait… no, you’re a dude. Sorry, my man, you gotta know how easy it is to mix them up.”
“H-ha… yeah.” Basil agreed awkwardly.
“So, anyways, I was real curious about what happened over the summer, y’know?”
“What do you mean?” Basil tried to keep his voice steady. The other boy was making no attempt to hide the glint in his eyes.
“When those ambulances showed up, y’know? Most action this shitty little town has seen in years, besides that girl hanging herself.” The boy tightened his grip on Basil’s shoulder, eyes narrowing.
“I…” Basil gulped. “Why… what do you want from this?”
Basil gasped as he suddenly felt himself being shoved to the ground, barely getting his arms out in time to avoid sliding his face across the linoleum tiles. He looked up at the bully, eyes wide.
“S-stop!” Basil pleaded, backing up. The crowd had begun to part around them already. He knew exactly what the boy was doing, so he didn’t understand why he was bothering to beg.
“ What I want ,” The boy emphasized the lack of stutter in each word. “Is for you to talk to me .” Nobody really reacted to the action, just murmuring in amusement. This was quite standard by this point. He made ready to step over Basil, who huddled on the ground, hoping this could just be over.
At the last second, the boy pulled his foot back and kicked Basil in the side, earning a loud yelp from him. “H-h-hey!” He tried to scramble to his feet, realizing he was in more danger than he’d anticipated, but the boy shoved him back down with one foot.
“C’mon. I’m curious!” The bully inflected his voice like he was joking with an old pal.
“I… I…” Basil’s eyes flicked from side to side, looking for something to help him.
“Oh, I recognize you!” The boy’s friend said with mock excitement. “You also got your shit kicked in by Aubrey all the time, right?” He looked at the bully, who nodded, smiling lightly.
“Anyway, though, the fuck was up with your great duel against the emo boy? How’d you only take out his eye and nothing else?” The bully pressed his foot down on Basil’s chest, making it hard to breathe. He looked from side to side – he’d been able to take humiliation most days, but this was too much. Aside from (formerly) by Aubrey’s gang, he hadn’t been shamed this publicly before. “I can show you how it’s done.”
The boy’s face morphed into what was probably supposed to be an expression of pride before it morphed into an expression of shock, with one fist buried in its cheek. The bully fell onto his ass, the student body parting further as Aubrey stepped over Basil towards the fallen man.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Aubrey’s face appeared blank, but Basil saw one eye twitching slightly. “A boy loses his grandmother, nearly dies, and then, on his first fucking day at school, you start picking on him?”
Basil felt Kel’s arms wrap around him from behind, pulling him to his feet. His side ached a little, but he felt like he could stand.
The bully looked up at Aubrey, holding his cheek. His eyes were wide and he was unsubtly shaking. “H-huh? So what; who’d give a shit if he died? I thought you hated that gu-!” His sentence was abruptly cut off when Aubrey kicked her foot across his nose, sending a spray of blood across the floor. A murmur went through the crowd, who took a step back.
Aubrey stomped on his stomach, earning a nasally scream from the boy, and broke his nose with a single punch, earning an even more nasally scream.
She was the reason people like this targeted Basil. And if he wouldn’t let her protect him, then she could still take out everything she felt on this idiot in front of her.
There was just so much going on. Basil being Basil, Kel being Kel, Hero being at college and Sunny… doing whatever he was doing. She was supposed to help Kel with Hero but didn’t know how, had to try and make sure Basil got better but didn’t know how, had to… what, get over the fact that Sunny might never come back? Confront the fact that her heart beat faster around Kel? She didn’t know the answers to anything, and nothing made any sense. Nothing except the fact that this guy deserved to get his face rearranged.
Who was she doing this for, though? Basil? No, he wouldn’t want her to pummel anyone for him, no matter how much they deserved it. Really, it was for her .
Aubrey pulled back her fist, but didn’t drive it back down into the boy’s face. His cheek was red, blood leaked from his nose, and his eyes were half-lidded.
Had she changed, or was she just taking out her anger on different targets? …God, this stuff made her brain hurt.
Aubrey felt a hand on her shoulder, trying to pull back her arm. Snapped out of her reverie, she whipped around, fist raised instinctually.
Kel stood just to the side, eyes wide and form frozen. Basil knelt next to her and gripped her arm, worry smeared across his face. And yet, even though she’d seemingly been about to hit him, he hadn’t flinched away. “Aubrey, please stop!” he pleaded.
“I was done, I was done!” she assured him, placing her hands on his shoulders as she stood up. She hoped she hadn’t scared Basil during her brief self-reflective beatdown of the bully.
“Jesus…” Kel stepped closer, surveying the scene. “We’ve gotta get to the nurse’s office – your hands seem pretty roughed-up.” He told Aubrey.
She and Basil stared at him with blank expressions, then at the groaning mess of a boy lying between them. The crowd had gone silent, but a few people began to walk away. The bully’s friend had mysteriously vanished. “Kel’s right, though,” Basil pointed out.
🌻
The friends let one of the teachers know a boy had had an ‘accident,’ hoped nobody would snitch on them, and then began to walk towards the nurse’s office. A thick silence hung between the three of them. Basil saw Aubrey stealing guilty glances at him; he really hoped she wasn’t lying about having already stopped by the time he grabbed her arm. If she was still hung up on her old mindset, that would be… concerning.
The three of them awkwardly sat down next to each other in the padded seats in front of the nurse’s office, having just been notified it would take them a while before they could go in – apparently, a student had had an ‘accident’ (frankly, Basil was surprised they bought the story. Maybe they just didn’t care).
Basil felt the low-quality fabric of the chair brushing against his back. These things probably hadn’t been replaced in some years. A thin sheen of sweat formed against his hands as he rubbed them together. He opened his mouth, intent on talking to Aubrey about… this, but Kel beat him to the punch.
“So… Aubrey. Were you really going to stop back there?” Kel asked, trying and failing to sound casual.
“Yes, I was.” She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I, uh, know that I got a little excessive there. Didn’t mean to. Even if he deserved it ,” she whispered under her breath.
“Even if he deserved it, you don’t deserve to get sent to the principal’s office for it. And especially not for my sake.” Basil patted her on the back.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. I mean… I’m still feeling kind of odd about everything, but I realized it wasn’t a good idea to vent my frustrations out on that dickhead’s face.”
“After venting your frustrations on his face?” Kel raised an eyebrow.
“Hey, it’s progress!” Basil piped up indignantly.
“I know, I know, I’m just kidding!” Kel whined, rubbing the spot where Aubrey lightly elbowed him. Basil knew she wouldn’t hit him that hard, in spite of how rough their relationship could be.
Basil rubbed his knees with his hands. “It’s still not healthy to do that, though.”
“Do what? I know I’m not the best fistfighter in the world, but still-” Aubrey began, but Basil cut her off.
“I mean… using other people as punching bags.” Basil looked away from Aubrey. Glancing back at her, he saw her swallowing. “You can use us instead. I-I mean, like, talk to us-” He hastily corrected himself.
“Yes, I know.” Aubrey laughed lightly, twisting her fingers. “I’ll… I’ll try.”
“Just because we have issues doesn’t mean you don’t,” Kel assured her, patting her on the head. Before she could elbow him again, the metal door to the nurse’s office swung open, and a middle-aged, portly woman stepped out.
“I’m ready for you now. Say, those hands look rather beat. Did you also fall down the stairs?”
Basil shuddered. He really wished the bully had picked a different excuse for his injuries.
Unsurprisingly, Basil was late for his first class, but explained that he’d had to take a friend to the nurse’s office. At least he hadn’t been hit hard enough for it to leave a bruise.
From there on out, the day went fairly smoothly. Basil found seats by Kel and/or Aubrey when he could; if not, then Cris, Mincy, or Jay. In the worst case scenario, he found himself seated by one of the hooligans. No matter where he sat, though, he always felt eyes lingering on his back, whispers behind him. The local teenagers were far more interested in a dramatic explanation than the incident over the summer being an accident. He heard them say things about him or Sunny being psychopaths, something about a cult – eventually, he just tuned them out.
More than a few people seemed mystified at the fact that Aubrey was now being kind and gentle with Basil. None spoke up, to his relief.
To the surprise of absolutely no one, Basil didn’t end up making any new friends that day. He sat with Kel, Aubrey and their other friends during lunch, then walked home with them wearing a significantly heavier backpack. The fact it was their first day hadn’t deterred the teachers from burying their students in a veritable mountain of homework.
It was still chilly and cloudy out as Kel and Aubrey finally dropped Basil off at his house. He waved goodbye to them and headed inside, pulling off his backpack and dropping it on one of the chairs by the dining room. He looked around, rubbing his cold hands against each other; Polly had gone out to run some errands, according to a note on the fridge.
Basil took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and slid down the door. A part of him already wished he hadn’t decided to return to school. This wasn’t going to be easy – but so far, what had been?
Notes:
CW for bullying and physical violence starts and ends w/ 🌻
CW for eating disorder starts and ends w/ 🌷Not going to lie? I know I say this every time, but this is actually the worst chapter so far in my opinion, and definitely the one I'm most scared to publish.
Was the sleepover scene natural or weird? Did this chapter feel disjointed? Were the bullies too mean? It's not like they beat Basil to a pulp, but they did shove and kick him. My main issue was Aubrey, though. Did it feel like she regressed as a character from Chapter 9? Didn't progress as far as she seemed to have in Chapter 9?
Chapter 11: Dealing the Cards
Summary:
An inevitability.
Notes:
I'm mostly on time!!!11 50k words weeee
Beta read by UdonPuddle.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
School life went about as well as Basil could expect. He got up, went to his classes, sat with Kel and Aubrey at lunch, and went home with them. At first, people tried to pick on him. He was still a very easy target, and he’d rather they bully him instead of people who deserved it less, anyway.
Kel and Aubrey… disagreed. Within a few weeks, they, their other friends and the hooligans made that known to everyone around school, and people were suddenly far more friendly to him. Basil wouldn’t pretend he wasn’t grateful.
So, Basil settled into a comfortable routine. He had a future now (not that he really knew what that future was…), so he cared more about his grades, and reestablished himself as a teacher’s favorite. He didn’t have much natural talent, but hard work and studying got him fairly far.
Basil spent his time away from school showing Polly the (metaphorical) ropes of gardening, hanging out (not in that way) with his friends… the usual.
Apprehension still occupied Basil’s mind the most, though. More-so than usual, in fact. There was still the business with Hero, wondering about whether Kel and Aubrey were actually his friends because they were a minute late, and, of course, being kept up by extraordinarily gay thoughts about his ex-best friend.
Finally, it was almost October. The recital month.
Although the first day of October was on the weekend, so at least Basil could spend it with his friends. That was what he’d thought, at least.
Basil raised his hand, barely catching the baseball with his mitt. “Wow, Kel, you’re good at this!” He exclaimed, tossing it back. The two of them were in the middle of the park, surrounded by trees. The leaves had already begun to brown and fall somewhat, even if it wasn’t full autumn yet. An orange early morning sun splayed out against a cloudless pinkening sky, but did little to dispel the chill. At the very least, there weren’t any other people in the park besides him, Kel, and Aubrey, the latter of which was sitting at a picnic bench, watching their game with amusement.
“I do more than just play basketball!” Kel replied, throwing the baseball at Basil again. They’d been playing for a while now. The friends had hoped to make use of the little time they had left before the weather got truly cold.
Basil caught the ball again. He lowered his arm to his side, breathing a little heavily and wiping the sweat from his brow. In spite of how cool it was outside and his choice of dress, a t-shirt, sports could still tire him out with ease. “Alright... can we take a break now, Kel?”
“Sure!" Kel removed his baseball mitt and slung an arm around his friend's shoulder, walking the two of them over to Aubrey. “'Kay, Aubs, you wanna play a game?” Basil flopped onto the bench beside her. He looked like a starfish.
“Oh, why not?” Aubrey stood, setting her baseball bat down and spitting her bubble gum into a nearby trash can. Basil noted the faint blush on her cheeks as she accepted. He doubted it was from the cold, but he knew to let little things like this build up before going in for one really good tease. Mari had taught him that.
The thought of Mari put a slight damper on Basil's good mood. He visited her often to water the flowers, but never really talked to her the way he knew Aubrey did, save for a few times where he snuck into the graveyard to make tearful apologies to her tombstone, as though that would fix what he did.
That became morbid rather quickly, eh?
The sarcastic inner monologue did little to alleviate Basil's apprehension. A proper, full apology for everything he'd done was more than in order. Desecrating her corpse, making her brother help him, refusing to believe Sunny had killed her - okay, he had a lot to apologize for.
Basil took his plastic water bottle from the table, taking a long sip and watching Kel and Aubrey play-wrestle on the grass over some minor argument. In the span of a few moments, they'd gone from playing catch to... whatever that was, without him noticing. And he thought zoning out was Sunny's thing.
Kel and Aubrey's faces were redder than they usually would be, considering the fact that they hadn’t been wrestling long. Kel’s quip died in his throat as he noticed how close his and Aubrey’s faces were.
Basil smirked, wishing he’d brought his camera. Oh well, he could still remind them of this moment constantly. He glanced to the side as he heard footsteps approaching – odd, as people rarely walked by here around this time of day.
He spat out his water upon seeing who it was.
Basil went from mostly calm to feeling his heart dashing itself against his ribcage. He dropped the bottle onto the grass and staggered to his feet. His fingers shook as he raised a hand to try and get his friends’ attention, staring at the person who had just arrived, selfishly praying to whatever deity didn’t hate him yet that this was a dream. A very, very bad dream. His vision went dark around the edges. Trying to control his breath, voice shaky and hoarse, he whispered, “K-K-Kel? H-”
As Kel and Aubrey looked up, the newcomer spoke.
“Hey, Kel. Hey, Aubrey. Sorry that I’ve been so distant.” Wearing a heavy, but stylish winter jacket, one hand in his pocket and the other sheepishly placed upon the back of his neck, was Henry Darwish.
Wordlessly, Kel got off Aubrey and practically tackled Hero around the midsection. He barely managed to stay standing. “ Hero! ” Kel released his hold on his brother, an enthusiastic grin contrasting Hero’s surprised one. After a moment, though, Kel seemed to realize the awkwardness of the situation they now found themselves in. Aubrey sidled up to them, one hand on her arm.
“So… Hero. How… uh… have you been?” She tried to start a conversation, glancing unsubtly at Basil, who was trying to slowly melt into the treeline.
“Uh… better. But it’s been improving. I guess,” Hero crossed his arms, trying not to look in Basil’s direction. Aubrey nudged Kel, who promptly strode over to the boy and picked him up from behind, under each arm, holding him like a cat.
“That’s really cool to hear! Here, look: it’s Basil!” Kel held him up to Hero as though he was reenacting the Lion King.
Basil opened his mouth, trying to say something, anything, but was more focused on preventing a panic attack. Not here, not now, absolutely not.
“Hello, Basil.” Hero’s response was curt and clipped.
Basil stared at him, wide-eyed and unable to form a coherent response. “We could, uh, head to Gino’s. Buy something, catch up…” Aubrey suggested. “Pretty sure they just opened for the day…”
Hero’s eyes flicked to her. “Sure, that sounds great.”
Basil doubted that Hero actually believed that – he himself sure didn’t.
The group would’ve walked to Gino’s in absolute silence if not for, thank the heavens, Kel’s rambling about basketball and how fat Hector was getting. Hero remained next to Kel at the front of the group, while Aubrey kept a reassuring hand on Basil’s shoulder.
Kel pushed open the door to Gino’s, letting Hero go forward with a snicker and, “Ladies first,” earning a light punch in the ribs from him. Kel doubled over in mock pain.
As the group sat down at one of the tables in the empty (save for Gino himself) restaurant, Basil couldn’t quell the fear brewing in his stomach. Thoughts raced around his head: Hero could probably reach right across this table and wring Basil’s fragile neck. Hero could wait for Basil to start walking home tonight, then corner him in an alleyway and strangle him. Hero could invite Basil over to his house, then ‘accidentally’ push him down the stairs. Even worse than any of those possibilities: what if Hero destroyed the friendships Basil had just reforged with Kel and Aubrey?
The point was: Hero was back. He had every right to hate Basil, and he couldn’t even fault him if Hero ended up turning Kel and Aubrey against him again. Basil gripped one hand with the other under the table, hoping to control his shaking. Hero had been avoiding looking at him directly, and hadn’t greeted him at the park.
Maybe Basil shouldn’t be so pessimistic. Sunflower, right? Be a sunfl- he was, once again, snapped out of his mental rambling by Kel – he hadn’t even noticed him standing up and returning to the table, drumming his hands against the wood. “Alright, guys, I ordered a pizza!”
Most wouldn’t have caught the quick, worried glances he shot at Hero and Basil, but the latter recipient did.
“Better not have pineapple on it like last time.” Aubrey slung her arm over the back of her chair, tapping her hand against the wood and twirling her wrist. It was a rapid, slightly shaky movement.
“And what if it did? Pineapple’s not that bad! C’mon, boys, back me up here!” Kel looked over to Basil and Hero.
“No, I’m taking Aubrey’s side here,” Hero’s brow furrowed in mock sternness. “Pineapple on pizza should be considered a culinary crime.”
“Uh… I don’t really like pizza in general.” Basil rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s good… sometimes. I guess pineapple can be alright.”
“You goddamned centrist.” Aubrey pulled him into an affectionate side hug, ruffling his hair and eliciting a small whine.
“H-hey, I’m just speaking my mind!” He ducked out from under her grip, turning to Kel, who had just reached into his pockets.
“Alright, then. If we can’t settle this through words, we’ll settle it through war! ” Basil and Aubrey both forgot their spat and screamed when Kel brought out Mincy’s raccoon, Lenin. “Oh, Mincy was wondering where this guy was.” He set the raccoon down on the floor, where it almost knocked the glass doors from their hinges as it rocketed away. Gino sighed defeatedly – Kel had become a regular customer at the restaurant lately, and things like this were a regular occurrence.
“Wha- why the f…” Aubrey caught a withering glare from Hero. “... Farthing Wood did you have Mincy’s raccoon in your pocket? How did you even fit him in there!?” she asked, baffled, as Kel drew out a… blender.
He ignored her question and tossed the blender behind him with a muttered, “This ain’t it…”
Finally, Kel took out a strange red device, about the size of Basil’s forearm, and a deck of cards. “...Uno?” Basil asked, even more confused than before. Hero had already buried his face in his hands. Basil felt like he should be having a similar reaction.
“Uno.” Kel looked uncharacteristically sadistic as he opened up the top of the device, inserting the deck. “Press the button, and the machine has a chance of giving you a random amount of cards.”
“...Don’t you need to pass out cards to start, though?” Aubrey rested her cheek on her hand, bemused.
“Oh, yeah.” Kel’s cheeks flushed as he took out a small portion of the deck and passed seven cards to each person at the table. He was about to put the remainder back into the machine before Hero reminded him to place a card in the center to start them off.
Kel really was a miracle worker, Basil reflected. Instead of just awkward silence, he’d somehow managed to get them playing a game of cards like old times – even if it felt far more tense than when they were kids. Basil took a moment to bask in the absurdity of the situation.
How would Hero react to defeat, though? Or victory? Getting annihilated in cards by the boy who ruined your life would probably make Hero’s opinion of Basil even worse. At the same time, giving it his all would show Hero that Basil was more than willing to confront him. He had to show he was willing to face his problems.
That left one option, no matter how much the potential outcome scared Basil: victory.
“Alright. Clockwise, like usual. Kel starts us off, then Aubrey, then Basil, then me.” Hero said, looking down at his cards. He had a tight grip; Basil hoped it was just competitiveness rather than resentment at the fact he had to play cards with the boy who ruined his life.
“Who goes after you?” Kel asked, going ‘ah’ after a moment of thinking.
“Oh… I almost forgot. We have some house rules. Hope you don’t mind…” Hero looked up again. Basil nodded hurriedly, while Aubrey gave him her full attention. “If someone gives you a press-two card, you can add your own on top of it to make the person next up press the button four times. They can make the next person press six times, then the next can… you get it.”
Basil looked down at his cards: he had a blue seven, eight, four, red six, five, rainbow card, and yellow press-two. Alright… not terrible, but not perfect, either. He had a good poker face – probably the best in their friend group. He could do this.
They’ll never believe how good I am. This was one thing Basil truly prided himself on. He’d never been beaten in Uno before, although there was a first time for everything. He had to play this strategically.
The first card was a green six. Kel looked down at his cards, brow furrowing. He took out a card, but put it back in his deck and laid down a green one. So… that meant Kel had either a rainbow card of some variety, green, or six – then again, knowing Kel, he might’ve just made a mistake.
“Played before?” Hero asked, looking menacingly over his deck at the others. “Uno is a far more complicated, brutal game than Go Fish, you know.”
Aubrey was next. She shuffled around her card, moving two from her far left to her far right, so those and the card to their left probably had something in common. Color, perhaps? Aubrey took the card that was now on the far left of her deck and laid it down: a blue one. “...Yes. I’m actually quite the veteran.” She narrowed her eyes at Hero, face unreadable.
Basil looked at his cards again. Blue was convenient; he could work with that. A seven, four, eight, or rainbow. A rainbow guaranteed success if it was his last card. He wanted to hold onto it for as long as possible.
“Is that so?” Hero asked. He continued, “I’ve met many who style themselves veterans when they are the Uno equivalent of a stillborn child – and I’ve always reminded them of their place.”
In the end, Basil settled on using his blue seven. He sniffed and furrowed his brow, trying to appear more worried than he really was. If they thought he had a bad hand, he’d have a much easier time outplaying them.
He’d let Aubrey and Hero continue their verbal war for the moment. Kel seemed content to do the same, staring at his cards while seemingly deep in thought.
“Fascinating… I think I’m looking at an example of one right now.” Aubrey stared daggers across the table at Hero.
Now it was Hero’s turn. He laid down a red seven, appearing stone-faced. He’d probably played cards extensively at college. Basil still had a red six and five, so he could work with that.
“There are no mirrors in this establishment.” Hero sniffed, crossing his arms as he leaned back in his chair. “And you, Basil? Do you consider yourself worthy of facing me?”
Christ, Uno brought out the inner warrior in everyone, it seemed.
Basil tightened his grip on his cards. Both his pride over Uno veterancy and fear over Hero told him to keep quiet. He’d let his skill answer Hero’s question.
It was Kel’s turn again. He smirked triumphantly and placed down a rainbow press-two. “Oh, Hero~!”
Basil quietly let out his breath when Hero finally turned away from him.
The man sighed, then tentatively pressed on the button on the machine. Once – nothing. Twice – nothing. Sighing again, this time in relief, he leaned back in his chair and flashed a grin at Kel. The table was silent for a moment before Aubrey muttered, “Aren’t you supposed to… you know… pick a color, dipsh… dipscheibenkleister?” she shrank under Hero’s glare.
Where’d she get that one?
“Oh, yeah!” Kel laughed. “Uh… orange! Wait, shoot,” He looked at his cards. “Green.”
Aubrey rolled her eyes and set down a green card depicting a set of cards being laid down on a deck, meaning she was allowed to use all of her green cards. Of course, that seemed to be her only green card, drawn from the card three spaces to the right of her far left. If her far right represented blues, the far left could represent red, yellow, or, god forbid, rainbow cards.
Now she was without usable cards, unless she had a rainbow. Basil hoped not, but relying on luck wouldn’t always get you far in a game as deadly as Uno. He also didn’t have any usable cards, though, aside from his valuable rainbow. Rules stated that he had to use it, though. Sighing more dramatically than he normally would’ve, hoping to play up the direness of his situation, he placed down the rainbow card. “Red.”
If Basil picked red, his opponents might assume he had less blue than red, or none at all, which would make them more inclined to switch to it. Of course, he still had his blue four and eight alongside a red six and five, so it was convenient either way for him.
Hero stroked his chin thoughtfully, then placed down a red two. Neither he nor Kel seemed to have a dedicated shuffling system, which made Basil’s job harder. “How have all of you been doing while… I was away?” Nobody seemed to expect Hero’s question, and they all perked up.
“We’ve… managed. It was a little tough, but I know you needed your… alone time,” Kel chuckled triumphantly and drew attention away from the conversation as he placed down a blue two. Both were just as well for Basil.
Aubrey looked at Kel as she set down a blue reversal, telling him it was his turn again. “We still had each other. But, not going to lie, it was… confusing without an authority figure around. Having to talk all this out ourselves wasn’t all that easy. C’mon, you know how stupid we are.” Aubrey tried to lighten the mood. Even her stubbornness seemed to have been worn down by Hero’s sheer presence.
Kel set down a blue card which allowed him to lay off all his blues (cards, not feelings), although it was his only one. He leaned back in his chair. “Ah, it wasn’t all bad. We sorted it out, for the most part.”
“That’s… that’s nice,” Hero’s resolve faltered as he held a card with two fingers. He stared straight ahead at Basil, who fought the urge to cower under his gaze. This conversation was a powder keg, one half-lit cigarette away from exploding. Right before Hero set down the card, he looked at Kel and began to blink again. “You know what isn’t? This:” He laid it down, revealing a rainbow press-two. “I pick yellow, by the way.”
Kel groaned and pressed the button twice, so rapidly it didn’t beep the second time. “Slower this time, Kel.” Hero smirked as his younger brother pressed it again; the beeping had grown progressively shriller with each consecutive press that didn’t send out any cards. Sure enough, two cards shot out of the machine and into Kel’s lap. Aubrey snickered at his bemusement.
Basil made no visible reaction as he laid down his yellow press-two. Hopefully he could convince them this wasn’t a big deal for him, that he had backups. “I thought we were friends, Basil!” Aubrey said in mock hurt, tentatively pressing the button. Basil had to stop himself from actually feeling bad. One press, nothing. Two presses, and a single card shot out. She swore under her breath as she added it to the middle of the far left of her deck – red or yellow, presumably.
Kel looked down at his cards, snickered, and placed down a yellow skip. Hero rolled his eyes. It was Basil’s turn again, and Hero looked at him from across the table, taking a deep breath. Hm… Basil didn’t have any yellow or skip cards.
“How have you been, Basil?”
How inconvenient.
“I-I… uh…” Basil pressed on the button. Nothing. “Well… I m-mean… I’ve been improving. Going to school again.”
“...Oh. That’s good.”
Hero was just so… unreadable. He hadn’t sorted his cards in any seemingly coherent way, kept a stone face throughout the whole game, and was clearly an experienced, confident player.
Basil had no idea what he was thinking.
Aubrey laid down a blue skip, smirking at a pouting Kel, although she cast an anxious glance at Hero and Basil. The former tore his eyes from the latter, pressing the button to no result. The beep was getting dangerously shrill.
At least he could use a card now. Basil set down a blue eight, keeping his poker face.
Aubrey hissed and pressed the button, yielding a veritable maelstrom of cards. Counting them, Basil realized she had four new ones. Christ.
“Got any you can use now?” Basil rested his cheek on his hand, smirking smugly at Aubrey. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hero’s eyes narrow.
“Use deez…” Aubrey shrank under Hero’s glare. “Um… yes, I will, indeed, use these cards.” She set down a blue nine.
Kel pouted for a moment before setting down a blue reverse. It turned into a rapid-fire match for a few moments: Aubrey placed a yellow reverse, Kel placed a yellow reverse, and Aubrey placed a yellow five. Basil placed a red five, Hero placed a red one, Kel placed a green one, Aubrey placed a green five, Basil pressed the button and received a yellow press-two, Hero pressed the button and received three cards, placing down his new green one. Kel smirked at Aubrey as he placed a green press-two.
He had no idea what a mistake he’d just made.
Aubrey smirked right back at her as he put a red press-two on top of it, elbowing Basil. He, in turn, set down his yellow press-two. He shrugged apologetically at Hero, who, unmoved, set down another yellow press-two. Kel placed down a yellow three. “Uno!” He laughed triumphantly.
“You still have to press the button… hm… eight times?” Hero chided Kel.
“...Oh, yeah.”
Right now, Kel had only one card, Basil had two, Hero had four, and Aubrey had four. Basil felt like that was about to change, and indeed it did.
…
By the time the massacre was over, Kel had a lap full of new cards. Too many to even count, but at least twenty. Dejected, he put down a yellow seven and slumped in his seat, slowly sliding under the table. Aubrey, finally stifling her laughter at his misfortune, placed a yellow six. Basil followed with his red six, still openly chuckling at Kel. “ Uno, Kel. ” The boy groaned from his new position, draped halfway down his chair.
Hero looked unusually nervous as he set down a yellow six, followed by Kel’s yellow reversal. Hero, with a shuddering hand, pressed the button. He sighed as no card came out. Basil, hand similarly shaky, pressed the button. The beep was shrill, high-pitched – it sounded like defeat .
But no cards came out.
Aubrey, with a sweating hand, placed a yellow four. She could tell Basil was close to victory. As she set down the four, though, he made sure she could see his fist clench. It sent a clear message: I don’t have a four or yellow. Of course, if he’d still had that rainbow card, this charade wouldn’t be necessary, but he made do with what he had.
Basil’s hands shook beneath the table, sweat running down his wrists. He swallowed, hoping his collar hid the motion. They couldn’t know how anxious he really was. He had to stay cliff-faced; just make like Sunny, right?
Kel placed a yellow reversal again, making it Aubrey’s turn. She looked at Basil and turned up her nose at him as she set down a yellow four.
“Well, that was fun.” For just a moment, Basil savored Hero and Aubrey’s nervous, but determined expressions morphing into realization – and then, horror. Hero had three cards and Aubrey had just two. Both had been so, so close.
Close enough wasn’t good enough, though.
Time seemed to move in slow motion as Basil ended the game with his blue four.
Aubrey buried her face in her hands, laying down her deck: a yellow nine and a rainbow. One more turn around the table, and her success would’ve been near-guaranteed. Hero, likewise, set down his deck and leaned back in his chair, wiping his sweaty brow. He had a red nine and four, with a card that would’ve let him set down all of them at once. If Basil had just failed to place something, Hero could’ve brought it to red with his own four and then won without even having to say Uno.
“I feel like that got kind of heated towards the end!” Kel piped up, rising to sit up in his chair fully again. He dumped his mess of a deck onto the table, revealing a mishmash of colors and cards.
“Um… yeah…” Basil wiped his sweaty palms on his shirt. For a few moments, the group cleaned up their cards in awkward silence. It was even worse once they finished, because then they just stared at each other.
Kel cleared his throat. “So… airplanes, what’s up with ‘em?”
Mercifully, Gino came by just then, holding a pizza on a tray. In his usual monotone, he muttered, “I cooka da pizza.”
As the group ate their… breakfast , Basil couldn’t take the silence anymore. Kel had run out of casual conversation topics, so it was up to him now. “H-how have y-y-you been doing, H-Hero? Has college been okay?”
“Yes, it's been fine.” Hero took a small, careful sip of his soda. “I suppose so, at least. It's busy, but I can handle it.” He hesitated for a moment before finally addressing the elephant in the room. “Coming to terms with what Sunny did…” He set the can down. “It wasn't easy. But I think... has he contacted any of you?”
Hope formed in Basil's chest. Maybe Hero really had forgiven them. “N-no... he hasn't. It's only been a few months, though. Maybe he just needs time!” He tried to stay cheery.
“Hopefully.” Hero looked downtrodden as he bit into his slice of the pizza. Kel and Aubrey avoided everyone's gazes, and Basil followed suit. “Well... Hero looked up again. On a lighter note, you and Aubrey have been looking funny at each other lately. Is something up between you two?” He asked Kel.
“N-nothing, nothing at all.” Aubrey said hurriedly, crossing her arms.
“Do I… sense a mutual little crush?” Basil suggested casually, dispersing the pepperoni on his slice of pizza.
Basil froze up. Oh god - what would two of his younger friends dating, one of whom was his brother, do to Hero? It wouldn't be as bad as Basil... fulfilling his dreams... but it would probably have a bad eff-
Hero chuckled at that, watching Kel and Aubrey both go furiously red in the face. Basil looked at him and tried to suppress a sigh of relief. Hero had also frozen for a moment, but seemed to move past it. He'd probably thought of something similar.
“Well, it's nice to see that all of you are friends again!” Hero stretched in his chair. “You are, right?”
“Yeah!” Kel responded enthusiastically, no doubt eager to change the subject from him and Aubrey. “We were all kind of... in our own corners... for about two months after, y'know, the hospital.” Basil tried not to cringe. “But! Basil was released from the psych ward, and Aubrey and I made a deal to see him together!”
Hero's shoulders... were they always that tense, Basil wondered?
“And then... guess who we ran into while we were walking around Faraway?” Kel chuckled, but then rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Basil was going for a walk, and then you gave the poor thing a panic attack.” Aubrey prodded Kel in the chest, but there was no malice behind her words.
“You didn't mean to…” Basil laughed at Kel's embarrassment.
“Yeah, I think it'd be kinda mean to fault someone for just trying to help.” Aubrey kept her eyes firmly away from Hero's, but Basil could see them almost dart towards the man, who was twirling his knife with one hand while listening.
“You're right.” Kel was more subtle. “Anyway, though, we went to Gino's together and all made up! I mean, not exactly…”
Aubrey looked down at her plate. “I think Basil was still kind of scared of me, after all I put him through. Me and my gang. We've been hanging out together more, though, recen- recently.” She froze as she realized ‘hanging out’ was probably a poor choice of wording.
For one, agonizing moment, Hero watched Aubrey blankly. The tension in the room was drawn to the limit, metaphorical wire fraying at its edges, until he cut through it with a dagger. “Haven't been getting into any trouble lately, right?”
“Nooo, of course not.” Aubrey looked away.
“Mincy got a raccoon. You met him earlier! His name is Lenin.” Kel said innocently, before Aubrey could slap her hand over his mouth.
“Why... why did Mincy get Lenin? And name him after the communist?” Hero asked incredulously. “I almost thought I imagined it from sleep deprivation.”
“No, she did actually get her own raccoon.” Basil confirmed.
Kel effortlessly tugged Aubrey's hand away from his mouth. “Oh, she was drunk. We were all drunk, actually. Me, Basil, Aubrey, Kel, Mincy, Jay, Cris, Kim, The Maverick, Kel, and Vance! Oh, and Kel.”
After a long, stern lecturing about the dangers of alcohol that Basil planned to heed (though he doubted Aubrey or Kel would; especially not Kel), Hero steered the conversation towards schoolwork. Kel and Aubrey explained their dipshit adventures with the Hooligans, while Basil meekly retold stories of how he, Cris, Mincy and Jay had gone to the arcade and park together like normal people.
Throughout their conversation, Basil couldn't help but feel like the air was still taut with tension, like it could snap at any moment. Perhaps he was just being his paranoid self, but gradually, he mustered up the courage to try to talk to Hero himself. He'd have to clear the air eventually, and he'd rather do so in private.
“I know I'm not really one to talk, considering my behavior in college, but you two should be more responsible. Like Basil.” Hero slowly reached over the table and ruffled Basil's hair. He tried not to flinch at the contact, nor how rigid Hero's hand was, and the man drew back after a moment. “I doubt he'll get arrested anytime soon.”
Basil tried not to think about the time he almost had been arrested for stabbing Sunny's eye out. Not to mention... well...
“Alright then,” Before Kel or Aubrey could try to break the silence following Hero's remark, the man did it for them. “It's almost noon, Kelsey. You and I should get home before Mother gripes at us for not hanging up the laundry. She's lenient to me, maybe, but you know how she'll get with you.”
“What? It's noo- oh, it is.” Kel deflated as he looked at the clock.
“Ah shit, Kim wanted to meet with me at noon.” Aubrey stood up, too, and Kel followed suit.
“Got plans today, Basil?” Hero asked the boy absentmindedly, sliding in his, Kel and Aubrey's chairs. Kel and Aubrey had walked outside, waiting for the other two.
“N-no, not really.” Basil got to his feet, sliding in his chair, too. “I-if it's... not too much to ask, c-could I have a word with you?”
“Ah…” Hero turned as he was about to head out the door, looking over his shoulder at him. “S-sorry, Basil, but you know how my mother gets when I'm home too late.” He avoided the boy's gaze as he headed outside.
Notes:
Expect biweekly updates unless stated otherwise.
I might try to finish MSR:B soon. It's easy to write, but I'm torn between writing it and FaF most of the time, so ehhhhhhh
I also have a lot of fic ideas that I'd like to write. Some oneshots, but the most prominent two right now are a psychological horror longfic and crack-treated-seriously longfic. I'll probably start both once MSR:B is over, or maybe just one. Speaking of oneshots, though, I just wrote one for Sunny's birthday, called Curling Fire: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40425321
This chapter felt very... *mid* to me. Not the worst thing I've ever written, imo, but it's certainly not the best.
Was this chapter any good? What kind of tone did the card game have, was it boring, what kind of vibe did Hero give, etc. I read and appreciate every comment, even if I don't respond.
Chapter 12: Lost, Found [ACT 1 FINALE]
Summary:
Welcome home.
Notes:
Chapter beta read by UdonPuddle. Content warnings at the bottom.
Well, this has been a ride. There are two more acts to go, totaling to be somewhere around 30 chapters. I've finished outlining them, for the most part.
Thank you for 5000 hits. I've also decided I'll just publish chapters as they're ready rather than having any real upload schedule. I might take a small break before releasing Chapter 13, because there are some concepts I'm eager to outline and write, and drawing also sounds quite appealing to me now.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Who was Sunny to Basil? It wasn’t a particularly hard question for him to answer – he was many things. A best friend, confidant, embarrassingly large crush. An unhealthy attachment – maybe even an obsession, though that depended on your definition of the word.
Sunny was someone who was quiet. Kinder than people who didn’t know him would have thought, and smarter, too. If he had the confidence to do so, he would have drowned his bullies in comebacks. Instead, though, it was up to Sunny’s friends to defend him.
Sunny was someone who listened, even if he didn’t talk much. Basil had someone who he could let out all his frustrations, hopes, and dreams to, and Sunny paid attention to every word when no one else did. He and Sunny were kindred spirits; Sunny understood. Where everyone else abandoned him, his best friend never would. That was what a best friend was supposed to be, and now Basil had one, just like the other kids.
Sunny was someone who was with Basil for rainy days, spent together in one of their rooms under a pillow fort with a lamp and a book. Even if neither of them could really swim, they felt safe enough by each other’s sides to sit right by the dock together. Quiet; the only noise came from the buzzing of dragonflies and rippling water. Basil leaned on Sunny’s shoulder and whispered that it was alright if he wanted to go back to the picnic blanket, and Sunny would respond that he wanted to stay here. With him. Every time Sunny said something like that, Basil felt his heart spin.
Under those pillow forts, the lamp light colored Sunny's hair a warm dark brown. Basil remembered feeling a sweet thrill in his belly every time he gazed at Sunny lying sleepily by his side. In that glow, when Sunny tilted his head and gave him a gentle smile, Basil felt his cheeks grow warm. The glint in Sunny's eyes made them look like stars shining in two dark skies.
Back then, Basil thought he knew just about everything about Sunny: that he didn’t really like playing the violin after a few months, his fear of heights and water, his unhinged hatred for insects. From their first meeting to their sleepovers where they found themselves getting closer than they’d ever hoped they would, Sunny certainly came to know everything about Basil.
Basil didn’t know who Sunny was now, though. And he didn’t quite know what he’d do if Sunny came back. It would be so much easier to pour his heart out to him rather than any of his other friends, Polly, or Carlsen. However, he had to learn and grow past his old attachments and mistakes, which, really, were one in the same.
Basil just wished it didn’t have to be so hard to let go.
The next few weeks were astonishingly similar to that reunion with Hero for Basil. He helped Kel and Aubrey set up Halloween decorations at the Darwish household, and they helped him set up a few at his. Basil spent most of his free time with his friends. Sometimes, he tried to corner Hero, but he always slipped away. ‘My parents are waiting for me, I’m tired, I have an assignment to do today…’ But whatever it was, Hero always seemed to have an excuse.
Life went on, though. Basil was glad to see Hero hanging out with Kel and Aubrey, even if he was avoiding him. At least one task had been… partially fulfilled, that being getting Kel and Hero to talk again. It was alright if Hero didn’t want to talk to Basil anymore.
Sunny hadn’t reached out. Reached out yet , Basil tried to remind himself, but as the days of October went by, that slow downward spiral continued. It was more than possible Sunny wouldn’t come back, and he had to make peace with that fact.
He still wished it didn’t have to be so hard.
It was late in October when Basil finally got his wish to speak with Hero. He wanted to offer a one-on-one apology, at the very least. In a way, though, Hero would come to him.
“Polly? There’s someone at the door!” Basil slid another book into the shelf, where it fit neatly between two others. Alphabetically organized just like his grandmother used to. Even if these were library books and he’d have to return them soon, it was nice to be neat. He stepped back, admiring his work.
Mid-morning sunshine filtered in through the living room windows, casting strange patterns on the carpet. Basil dusted his hands off and turned around just in time to see Polly opening the door to reveal… Hero. He rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. The man’s eyes swept the room and glinted as they passed over Basil. A few weeks ago, he’d have wondered if he was imagining it, but his new experience told him otherwise.
“Oh, hello, Henry! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.” Polly stood aside, letting Hero in. Now that he was so close, Basil was more than a little tempted to turn around and run to his room until Hero left.
“Aha… yes. I just got back from college a few weeks ago.” Hero walked inside with slow, measured steps.
“Oh, med school…” Polly grimaced. “Ha, I’m getting ahead of myself, talking as if I’ve graduated. I’m still in training.”
“Thank god. If someone as young as you had graduated, I would’ve lost all hope.” Hero chuckled. “I-I mean, you just look young-” He was suddenly flustered.
“I’m flattered.” Polly… batted her eyelashes, leaning against the counter as Hero took a seat at the dining table next to her. Basil huddled next to the bookshelf, hoping they didn’t try to drag him into their conversation. Especially if it got more flirty. “But yes, I am only twenty. It’s going to be a while before I become a fully-fledged nurse.”
“I’ll be turning twenty in a few months. My birthday’s January First.”
“Really? That’s got to have been the subject of more than a few jokes.” Polly laughed as she turned around, walking to the fridge. “Would you like something to drink?”
“No thank you.”
“So polite!” Polly chuckled as she sat across from him, holding a new glass of water. “Well, I don’t suppose you’ve come here just to see me~” She rested her chin on her hand and Basil fought the urge to vomit. He didn’t wake up this morning expecting to watch his surrogate mother and Hero flirt.
“I’d call it a worthwhile trip.” Most wouldn’t have noticed Hero’s hand lightly shaking as he flirted back. Basil did, though. “...But… heh… there is another reason for my visit,” he rubbed his neck sheepishly. “Kel was doing Kel things and the skillet at my house now has a three-inch hole burned through it. We only had one, and our parents would probably defenestrate Kel if they found out what he did…”
Polly laughed. “Oh, I can see him doing that. I think there’s a spare in the attic. I’ll go and fetch it, and you can borrow it for a while, if that’s okay with you.”
“That sounds fine!” Hero replied gratefully. Polly’s chair squeaked as she stood up, walking to the hallway and climbing up to the attic.
While it was nice to not have to watch Hero and Polly flirt anymore, Basil realized that the current situation was even less desirable.
Hero and Basil were now alone.
Basil stared at his shoes, wishing he could melt into the bookshelf next to him. Without looking up, he could see Hero’s gaze affixed to the table, his shoulders tense.
This is fine. It’s awkward, but it’s fine. Maybe I should try to talk to him, though. The attic’s crowded; we’ve got time, and he can’t really leave, right-
“...Hey, Basil.” He fought the urge to jump when Hero spoke his name. Slowly looking up, he clasped his hands to stop them from shaking. Hero got to his feet, walking over to the counter and leaning against it.
“Y-yes?”
“I… well, I know that I’ve…” Hero sighed, running a hand over his face and hair. It came back glistening with sweat. “I haven’t been a good friend to you. At all.” He kept avoiding Basil’s gaze.
“...You all coped differently. I understand.” Basil chose his words carefully. Truth be told, Hero’s absence during the four years had done a number on Aubrey, and his recent absence when Kel needed him most hadn’t done much to help. It wasn’t okay; he did understand, though. And he still needed to find a good opening to offer his own apology.
“I’m thankful, but that doesn’t make it alright. I’m still sorry.”
Basil moved his hands behind his back. No matter how hard he tried, they were shaking anyway. “Ah… w-well, apology a-accepted.” Christ, he couldn’t end the conversation like that. Now was his chance to at least try to make it right. “I… I also wanted… to apologize to y-you.”
Immediately, Hero’s eyes went from shaky to steeled, half-lidded and brow knit. “...I see.”
“When I clarified the truth in the hospital…” Basil recalled Sunny wording it to minimize Basil’s fault in the Incident, “I wasn’t seeking forgiveness. I just… hoped I could give you guys some closure.”
Basil fought the urge to squirm under Hero’s unblinking, unrelenting gaze. He just stared at him, like S-
Not now.
“...Thank you. It… it did.” After a moment, Hero finally looked away and closed his eyes, sighing. “I accept your apology. While I was away, I… thought a lot.”
Basil held his breath, trying to back against the wall even more than he already had. Like Basil, Hero held his hands behind his back. Both of them clenched their fists.
“I… I f-forgive you and Sunny.” For the first time in a long time, Basil heard Hero stutter, and then the familiar sound of blood hitting the floorboards. Basil’s eyes drifted downward, seeing a single drop of red staining the ground underneath Hero’s clenched fists.
Thinking about those details was easier than thinking about what had just come out of Hero’s mouth.
“W-w-what? How? Why? ” Basil stammered, mind going blank. He wanted to form a more coherent response, but just…
“I mean… it would be wrong of me not to, right?” Hero didn’t usually breathe that fast. “You… you were twelve. Accidents happen, and you just… wanted to h-help. Kel told me what you said on the night of that sleepover, about how you tried to hang yourself.” He walked towards Basil, footsteps slow and heavy. “It all… makes sense. You deserve to be forgiven.”
Kel already towered above Basil, but Hero was even taller than his brother. He loomed over the boy, eyes… indeterminable. Glassy, like Basil had opened a book to read but found a mirror instead.
Hero blocked Basil’s view of the living room window, blotting out the sun and casting a long shadow over the boy.
Basil stared up at him. He’d felt like this before, with Aubrey standing over him, but he never thought he’d feel it because of Hero .
At a glacial pace, the man reached out a hand and put it on Basil’s shoulder. For one moment, he wondered if he was just being paranoid earlier, but Hero’s grip was iron-tight, vice-like. His fingers dug into Basil’s shoulder, folding the fabric of his collared t-shirt.
Run.
Basil’s heart beat out of his chest. This was wrong. He had to stop this.
Run.
Basil opened his mouth to say something. He had to say something.
Run.
Anything.
Run.
Hero just wouldn’t stop staring-
“Oh, hello, boys!” Polly. She held a skillet. “I found it! Took me a while… you wouldn’t believe how dusty that attic is.”
Hero released Basil’s shoulder. It seemed to sigh with relief, free to move again in spite of the pain.
Hero turned to face Polly. His posture slowly started to untense. He looked back to say something to Basil, but he’d already run out the door. Polly never noticed the drop of Hero’s blood staining the floorboards.
Over the coming weeks, Basil became the one to avoid Hero. The two of them cast awkward glances at each other during hangouts, neither wanting to truly confront the other. Basil still couldn’t decide if he was just being paranoid or if his worries were truly justified. The way Hero had looked at him made him was simply… it didn’t feel right. Even if the end of October relieved Basil, he still failed to shake a deep-seated sense of unease whenever he saw Hero watching him.
Basil was now avoiding Hero, too, at Kel’s birthday party. It wasn’t that hard to do so in between all the chaos wrought by the hooligans, Aubrey, Kel, and Cris all being in the same place. The looks Hero cast Basil felt just as empty as before, perhaps more-so now. There was something in those eyes, but Basil couldn’t see it; no matter how hard he tried, all he saw was his own reflection.
Eventually, Kel noticed that Basil had stopped trying to talk to Hero and that their relationship remained tense. After hearing about what had happened, Kel thought for a moment before saying that it probably would be best that they test the waters a little, try talking to him again. There weren’t many opportunities for Hero’s presence to be guaranteed, save for one: Thanksgiving.
Basil received confirmation from Kel that the Darwish parents invited him. It would be just them, Kel, and Hero – Aubrey would be with the Hooligans at Kim and Vance’s place. He prepared for the day in a haze, unease permeating each of his actions. He had to do something after the disappearing act he pulled last time, no matter how much the idea of facing Hero again and confirming the fact he hated him scared Basil.
Here was another opportunity to show Hero that Basil had changed. He understood that Sunny wasn’t perfect; he was back in reality. He just had to try and show this to Hero. The plan was to pull him aside after dinner and just say this to him, beg for another chance to be his friend again and show this to him.
It wasn’t a plan Basil liked, to be honest. Even if it were watertight, he still wouldn’t.
These were all things that Basil would have spoken to Sunny about. That could be said for many of his problems these days, but these were the most prominent. Instead of Sunny, he had Polly and Dr. Carlsen. The former was concerned for his fractured friendship with Hero, but didn’t really know the details, while the latter encouraged his idea to talk to him at Thanksgiving.
Basil felt safe with Polly. He could fall asleep by her side. She and Carlsen both knew how to treat him, and he did love them for all they did for him. They provided the same things Sunny did, but Basil still yearned for him in particular. He might not need him, but by god, he wanted him.
Whether Sunny was here or not wasn’t really up to Basil, though. Not anymore.
Time seemed to move quicker when you weren’t looking forward to something. This was no exception.
So, before Basil even knew it, Thanksgiving had arrived.
Basil’s gaze stayed firmly fixed to the turkey. The entire dining table in the Darwish household was covered with various meats, vegetables, soups, and pies. At the center was a large turkey garnished with parsley, coated with spices. Warm light from the chandelier spilled out across the room. It probably wasn’t necessary, seeing as it was only sunset, but gave the room a more homely appearance – in strong contrast to the conversation taking place within it.
Kel had been talking with his parents for a few minutes now, with the occasional interjection from Hero, who only looked at Basil when he thought he wasn’t looking back. Mercifully, the Darwish parents hadn’t tried to talk to him directly – yet.
“Kel, that’s all very wonderful to hear,” Mrs. Darwish took a sip of wine. “Are you sure you’ll be able to make a living from just basketball?”
Basil watched Kel’s fist clench under the table. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Well, there’s just so many players, and a lot of them are quite good…” She suggested, a little on edge.
“Are you saying I’m not good enough?”
“No, just… ugh. Come on, Vivatma, back me up.” Mrs. Darwish turned to her husband.
“Huh?” He looked up from his food, disinterested. “Oh, I don’t know. Sports scholarships are fine. But you should play a real American sport, like football.”
Mrs. Darwish pinched the bridge of her nose. “Christ… alright, enough about scholarships. How has school life been in general?”
“Yes… have you got a girlfriend yet?” Mr. Darwish asked offhandedly.
“Ah… heh,” Kel rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “I might, soon.”
“Oh, that’s nice-” Mr. Darwish’s sentence was cut off by his wife.
“It’s not the delinquent girl, right?” She asked. Hero ate and chewed slowly, clearly more fixated on the conversation than his food. Basil took a bite of his garden salad, eyes sweeping the table. He had a bad feeling about this.
“What’s wrong with Aubrey?” Kel set down his fork, ever-so-slowly.
“I mean, she’s just troublesome all around.” Mrs. Darwish said. Mr. Darwish took a sip of his beer, stern eyes flicking between the people at the table.
“We’ve spoken about this before. She’s the best girl I know.” Kel’s fist tightened as he spoke.
“Why can’t you just be gay, then, and date the best guy you know?” Mrs. Darwish waved a hand dramatically. “And date someone actually responsible. Hero had Mari, and she kept him in check!”
“Mother.” Hero’s voice was sharper than usual, cutting her off before she could continue. “Lay off Aubrey. Kel can love who he wants.” He stabbed his knife into a potato with more force than necessary, starting to cut.
Basil looked down at his plate, hoping he wouldn’t be dragged into this conversation. He wanted to defend Aubrey and Kel, but with Hero right here…
“I’m concerned for your future, Kel.” Mrs. Darwish crossed her arms. “I know I say it often, but you really should act more like Hero. Or, I suppose, Basil.”
Hero choked.
“He’s always so studious and well-mannered.” She jabbed her fork at Kel. “That boy wouldn’t hurt a fly, even on accident – may I remind you of how you broke two vases in one week last month? Those were costly!”
“P-please, Mrs. Darwish,” Basil raised his hands, catching everyone’s attention. An entire table’s worth of eyes bored into his soul. “I… I’m nothing special. Kel is better than me, really.” He was careful to not sound too self-deprecating, or she’d probably take it as another positive quality.
“He’s a good boy, but he’s too clumsy and airheaded.” Mrs. Darwish waved Basil off. “You’re going to hurt someone one of these days, Kel. All it takes is a push down the stairs to-”
“ Stop .” Basil hissed.
The table was silent again. He felt everyone’s eyes on him, Kel’s disposition turning from barely-contained anger to wonder, Hero’s indeterminable but stern, and the Darwish parents annoyed.
“I…” Basil realized too late he couldn’t really say what he wanted to. ‘Good people make mistakes’ would probably come across as preachy without a real example, and he couldn’t come up with any (that he was willing to share, at least).
He lowered his shaking hands beneath the table. A thin trickle of sweat ran down his face. Basil tried to control his breathing. Just think. Calm down. Focus.
“I don’t think you really know Kel.” Hero finished for him. His steely gaze swept the entire table, including Basil. He held his knife with a clenched, shaking fist. “Who cares about a fucking vase? Accidents happen. Get over it.”
The table went silent again for a few seconds. Mrs. Darwish sighed. “You say that now, but what if an accident injured someone you love? You wouldn’t forgive that. In some cases, I don’t think you should.”
Hero opened his mouth, then closed it. His fest clenched harder around his knife.
“No. You should.” Basil fought to keep his voice steady. The edge of his vision felt… cold. Dark. His chest was tight and airy at the same time. His stomach burned. He felt like he was back in his living room with Hero standing over him. The man watched him from across the table, eyes glassed over but somehow still sharp. “I-if it was an accident…”
He swallowed.
Everybody was watching him. The hallway called for Basil, but he couldn’t leave. Not at a time like this. Not without looking suspicious. He clasped his hands against each other under the table as hard as he could, barely feeling the pain. He only realized he was bleeding when a drop hit the floor.
He felt twelve again, waiting for a gentle touch from Sunny that wouldn’t come.
Hero shut his eyes so hard the edges crinkled. When he spoke, each word was hoarse, hissed out like he was trying to hold it back but failing. “...What would you know about accidents?”
Right afterward, Hero’s eyes widened. “I m-mean-”
🌻
“May I be excused?” Basil stood up, sliding in his chair. He couldn’t make out anyone’s faces. His vision swam in front of him, colors swirling like they’d been put in a blender. He began to head in the direction he remembered the hallway being. It would be good if he didn’t walk into a wall.
Basil ran his hands along the corridor, turning a corner and grabbing at what looked like a doorknob. He threw the door open and stumbled inside, almost falling over the toilet. It was dark in the room and he could barely see. Basil grabbed the rim of the toilet, knees giving out beneath him.
For a moment, he felt weightless.
Why would he say that?
His head spun. He didn’t know if it was even over the toilet bowl-
Why?
Basil’s throat was on fire. He couldn’t feel his body. He tried to take a breath, but choked on something in his throat. His lungs were just too tight, ribs too tight, squeezing his heart-
There was color in front of him, dulled by the darkness of the room. He tried to to take a breath, but it just wasn’t enough; it caught in his throat, clamped shut and burning. His mouth had something awful in it, running down his lips.
Basil heaved again, weeks of stress and uncertainty spilling out of his mouth.
He whimpered. It was something weak and pathetic in the back of his throat.
Basil took his hand off the rim of the bowl, suddenly realizing how much it stung, that the liquid running from it was too fluid to be vomit, and lost his balance. He went from kneeling to being on the floor. His shoulder ached from the impact.
A voice spoke to him.
You’re still here. Calm down.
Slowly, Basil tried to take a breath. It seemed to catch in his throat, but he breathed out anyway. The voice was familiar. Mari?
You’re safe. Just think.
In, out, over and over again. Sunny, perhaps?
Stay with me.
The voice belonged to Basil. For some reason, this didn’t really surprise him.
What do you see?
Basil realized he’d had his eyes squeezed shut. Opening them, one at a time, fingernails still digging into the tiles and sight struggling to adjust to the darkness-
Bath curtain. Showerhead. Tile. Mirror. Basil didn’t look into it. He couldn’t anyhow, as he was on the ground. Light. The door was still partially open.
What do you hear?
Rippling water. Breathing. Basil’s chest felt ragged. Talking. They were probably mad at him. Dripping. A drop of sweat hit the tile.
What do you feel?
Pain , in his knees, shoulders, and palms. Bile, in his throat. Sweat, on his face and palms.
What do you smell?
Soap… vomit.
What do you taste?
For some ungodly reason, Basil tried to smack his lips, gagged as he tasted the vomit, then laughed hoarsely.
🌻
He had to look so pathetic right now: huddled on the bathroom floor, curled up and shaking like a leaf. Wiping tears he hadn’t realized were there, Basil grabbed onto the rim of the toilet again. One, two, three… with a grunt, Basil hauled himself to his feet, nearly falling over again. His knees still felt weak.
Taking a deep breath in preparation, Basil looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. His hair was damp with sweat, stuck to his face. His eyes were red from crying, and his palms had multiple small lacerations on them.
Basil sighed and slowly washed his hands before wiping the tear streaks from his cheeks. He could clean up the rest later. Right now, he’d rather just get out of here. He gently opened the door, closing it with just as much force, and looked around. The Darwish parents seemed to be lecturing the brothers for talking back. He felt bad leaving them there, but there wasn’t much he could do.
Without walking past the hallway again, Basil could head out the back. He took this option, quietly making his way towards and opening the sliding door with slightly shaky hands. Mercifully, it didn’t make too much noise.
Basil stumbled outside, mouth still burning with the aftertaste of acidic bile. This sealed the deal: Hero really, really did hate him. His behavior over the past few weeks, today, and the final moments at the dinner confirmed it. Maybe he really had forgiven Basil. But even so, he could still be angry with him. He could be angry for the rest of their lives.
His palms were slippery against his knees, both slick with sweat. He took a deep breath and drew himself up to his full height, wiping his mouth again. Kel and Hero’s backyard was expansive: a huge clearing, surrounded by green oak trees, dotted with specks of orange and yellow to signal the arrival of autumn. The forest obscured any distant cities and hills and made the sky seem larger than ever.
Right now, Basil could see those long clouds going on forever, backlit by the fiery sky and setting orange sun.
The seasons and positions always changed. Some things always stayed the same, though. The sun would still be there, even if it was in a different place.
That wasn’t quite the same, though, was it?
Basil had always known this. It was why he took so many pictures, why he valued Sunny’s excellent memory. Immortalizing these perfect moments because he knew they wouldn’t last.
Unfortunately, some things changed even though Basil didn’t want them to, and some things didn’t change even if he wanted them to. He’d tried to find the bright side on the day of the Incident, driven by some vain hope that he could change this situation from a bad one to a salvageable one when he’d never had a chance. Sometimes, things were just bad.
Hero might hate him forever. Basil had to make do with this fact now.
As much as Basil hated himself for it, this wasn’t the most pressing thing on his mind. It was something else, something that terrified him to no end, something he hoped to any deity that would listen would change.
Sunny could stay away and never come back. He’d already sacrificed so much for him, saving his worthless life repeatedly and being rewarded with a pair of gardening shears to the eye.
And there was nothing Basil could do to fix it.
Just like back then, there was no sun for him to turn to. It’d set a long time ago, and he had to let it. Seasons changed, Sunny had changed, and now he might not change back. This was the way of the world.
All Basil had now was photographs. Memories.
So, he may as well look through that mental album of Basil’s Memories, cherishing each entry. One last time.
Basil recalled first meeting Sunny.
He’d hid behind an older girl Aubrey called Mari, eyes unfazed but posture seeming nervous. Mari chuckled and gently pushed the boy forward. For a moment, he and Basil stared at each other on that sidewalk. Looking into Sunny’s eyes, Basil saw a kind of understanding in them, in the way Sunny’s hand also shook as it extended for a handshake.
The two kept eye contact. It was easier with each other than other people. Basil had never felt this before, but he could already tell that the boy in front of him just understood in a way nobody else did.
Neither spoke a word, but they didn’t need to.
That easy silence permeated their relationship. Basil and Sunny spent afternoons with nobody for company except each other, huddling together under blankets, drawing plants and cats respectively.
It was always quiet, but not necessarily silent. Basil brought books to read with Sunny, speaking in silly accents that never failed to coax a smile from the other boy. He almost never saw Sunny smile around anyone else. And even though Basil liked to keep everyone happy, he cared most about keeping Sunny happy.
There were days where it wasn’t quiet, actually, but through no fault of their own. When it thundered during their sleepovers and Basil found Sunny shaking beneath his blanket, he’d crawl into bed with him and lay Sunny’s head on his lap, gently humming and stroking the boy’s hair until he fell asleep. Basil tried his best, but he couldn’t always recall these perfect moments with perfect accuracy. Sunny remembered them for him when he made his notes in the photo album, though. He was just perfect like that.
All these little moments that Sunny helped him catalog made Basil… realize things. He felt warm around Sunny. Safe, understood, accepted, wanted . But you should feel this way about your best friend, right?
He knew best friends weren’t supposed to make your heart race whenever they leaned their head on your shoulder, held your hand in theirs, caressed your face with a gentler touch than you ever could’ve imagined.
Basil had never really been interested in girls. But Sunny was different. When they leaned against each other in their shoddy little pillow fort, playing chess and chatting about the new Captain Spaceboy comic, Basil wanted him to lean in just a little further.
Basil loved him. The adults told him something like this was wrong, but how could love be wrong?
The things Basil… did … because of that supposed love made him reevaluate his answer to that question.
It was hard to believe it hadn’t even been a year they’d known each other when everything changed. Those precious months had meant everything to Basil, in spite of how quickly he threw it away.
At some point, lost in his reverie, Basil’s knees had given out. He stared at his hands. They felt like they were being pulled down as though by seaweed in a lake, and he had no desire to pull them back up.
Basil still loved Sunny. Maybe it wasn’t a healthy kind, but there was real love in there somewhere. There always would be.
But, after so long hoping things wouldn’t change, they had. They wouldn’t change back on his whim. All Basil could do was adapt. Change with them.
Basil sighed, collapsing onto the grass. It tickled the side of his face, but he paid it no mind. The times were changing, and he should, too.
Could it be time to let go?
Kel and Basil texted each other afterward, each apologizing for not being able to help the other. Aubrey got everyone together the next day at the park, where Basil hoped to talk to Hero about what had happened, but the man acted the same as usual. It seemed Basil and Hero’s friendship was simply over. He’d have to live with that.
The days faded into weeks again. Kel and Aubrey knew things weren’t right with Hero and Basil, and tried to balance their time between them when they could. December brought snow with it, making walking to and from Othermart to buy Christmas supplies quite a pain. It had been decided the gang would gather at Kel and Hero’s house for Christmas, as Polly would head to her family a day or so before Christmas Eve and Aubrey… well, they all knew her living situation.
A little while into December, Basil made the decision to visit Mari. Between all the business with Hero, he hadn’t found time to speak with her. Basil prepared a bouquet for her: lilies of the valley, hyacinths to ask for forgiveness, orchids for sincerity, hydrangeas for gratitude, and a variety of others. He hoped she’d be patient with him.
Basil saw his own breath in the air. He pushed his way through the cemetery gate, glad for his woolen gloves; even with them, the cold metal stung his fingers. Far above, the grey sky provided no warmth, and the bare trees offered no shade. He trudged through the snow towards a very specific grave.
At the edge of the cemetery, Basil came to a halt and slowly turned to face the tombstone.
Mari Suzuki (1995-2009)
The sun shined brighter when she was here.
The inscription always seemed a little cruel in Basil’s mind. Sunny’s parents didn’t have to remind him of how much happier he was before his sister died.
Already, he could feel his knees going weaker than before. He had better do this quickly. “...Hello, Mari.”
He swallowed.
“I know it’s been a while since I’ve come to really… talk to you. I’m not just here to water the flowers.” He twisted the bow on the bouquet. “I wanted to properly apologize. F-for everything. I always knew that what I did was wrong, but I only realized that I was wrong a few months ago.
“...I never meant for this to happen. I know that doesn’t really make it better, but…” he sighed. “I’m so sorry.”
Bowing his head, Basil continued, “I’m aware it’s taken me longer than it should’ve. The past few years have been… hard. Maybe I deserved that, maybe I didn’t. Aubrey got… meaner. But she apologized and she’s been trying really hard to make up for it. Hero spent a year inside and ended up yelling at Kel before finally going to school again. I think Sunny telling the truth brought him some closure, at least. Kel’s had it rough; I think it’s only recently that he’s allowed himself to feel… really feel.”
Basil swallowed. “And… I… I missed you. I know it sounds absurd, considering what I did, but…” he sighed. “You helped me so much. You showed me how to take care of myself, how to take photographs, how to… accept myself…”
He shifted his feet.
“I still miss you. I th-think I always will. Everything about you: your smile, your cookies, your laugh, your advice. I’ll be honest, the nagging got a little annoying sometimes.” He laughed lightly, trying to ignore the burning behind his eyes, and knelt before the grave. He clutched the bouquet to his chest. “You always seemed so strong and capable. Perfect, almost, but I know that’s not true. I wish you hadn’t forced yourself to act that way.
“But god, you came close. I’ve never known anyone as smart as you.” Basil rested a closed fist on top of the headstone. “You helped me so much. A-and then I just… god, you’d probably forgive me, too.” He shut his eyes tight, but still felt something wet running down his cheek. “I-I never deserved a friend like you. Grandma was kind, but her health was always poor, and my parents were never there for me. But you? You always knew what to do.”
Basil hiccuped and let out a dry sob. “I’m sorry! I miss you so much, even though I don’t d-deserve to.” He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, but it was useless. “P-p-please… please forgive me. I’m sorry…” Slowly rocking back and forth, he kept repeating the phrase.
“I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry…” Basil choked and cleared his throat. “I-I…I wish it was me instead of you, but that’s not how this works, is it?” He wiped his eyes again, trying to control his breathing. The warmth from the tears leaving made his cheeks sting more than before.
For a moment, Basil simply knelt there, shivering under the grey sky. Light still shone through the clouds and branches of the forest. This felt… liberating. He still had more to say, though. He took a deep breath before continuing.
“...I’ll be honest, I still don’t think… I still don’t think I really know what to do. It’s been so hard without you and Sunny here…” he sniffled. “I could go to college, maybe. I’m still not sure how to handle Hero, or if I can do anything about him at all. This is the kind of thing I’d have asked you for advice on, or vented to Sunny about… then I ruined my relationship with both of you. Ironic, isn’t that?”
Basil wiped one of his eyes again, smile fading as quickly as it had come. “But… I can’t rely on other people all the time. I have to learn to live life as my own person. Not as Sunny’s best friend or your… hangman…”
Shakily, Basil got to his feet, leaving the bouquet in front of Mari’s headstone. “Not that I can really call Sunny my best friend anymore.” He sighed and placed his hands inside his pockets. “I… I really am sorry for everything I did to you and the others, Mari. I hope that you can forgive me.”
Basil took one last look at the headstone. “Thanks… thanks for listening to me today. I’m glad to talk to a friend about this.” He should probably leave now. Polly would be home soon, and, even if he was allowed to be out alone nowadays, he didn’t like worrying her.
Basil turned to leave.
Something blocked his path.
Someone.
Black hair.
White eyepatch.
Red scar.
Wide eye.
He had gotten taller. Taller than Basil, by a little.
He wasn’t as pale. He’d gained a bit of weight, some thinness in his face, definition to his arms – hard to tell with his heavy black jacket and gloves. From the piercings on his ear, though, Basil could tell the boy’s fashion taste had changed a little.
He was here .
With Basil.
He was here.
Sunny.
Damn, that eyepatch looks hot on him.
Thus went Basil’s final, rather humiliating thought before his vision went dark, his knees went weak, and he fainted.
Notes:
CW for vomiting and a panic attack, both starting and ending with 🌻
There's another bit that might be considered a panic attack, but I'm not too sure, to be honest. You probably know what I'm talking about; please tell me in the comments.GOD it feels good to write angst again
Well, this was the finale of Act 1. Was there enough buildup for the emotional scenes? Were they edgy or actually good? How was Act 1 overall? I'm always happy to get comments. They keep me writing.
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading.
Chapter 13: Eclipse
Summary:
Sunny's life didn't immediately get better after the confession.
Notes:
Beta read by UdonPuddle and JoesAlot. CWs at the bottom.
i'm only 1 day late or something like that woooooooo
i probably hav e a nnnouncements to make but i forogor them lol iy's like 1 AM
this shit's tkane me weeks man
maybe new bladesil coming soon. new longfic idea might get a proof of concept chapter soon, too
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunny’s life didn’t immediately get better after the confession.
…
That was an understatement. It got worse. He was barely able to even see his friends leaving the hospital room, one by one, through the tears in his eyes – Aubrey at a full sprint, Kel slowly, but with a contemptuous and hurt glare, and Hero shoving past him, stone-faced.
Aubrey had listened silently, tears running down an unmoving face; once it was over, she managed to shout something to the effect of them all being ‘sick in the head’ before breaking down and leaving. Kel’s fists had tightened and he shut his eyes tightly before untensing slightly, then left without another word. Similarly, Hero said nothing; his posture hadn’t changed, fists hadn’t clenched, but his movements were robotic and face shadowed as he, too, left.
Sunny staggered to his feet, throat sore from finally talking after four years. He wiped his eyes, feeling the uncomfortable slick of tears against the back of his palm, and dried it on his hospital gown. He stared ahead unblinkingly, one inky black eye meeting both of Basil’s iridescent blues.
Basil had woken up during his confession. Sunny had said something to the effect of, “And Basil helped me hang her,” which he promptly interrupted by saying it had been his idea.
…Well, it going over well hadn’t been the point. Or so Sunny told himself.
Now, Basil stared back at Sunny from across the hospital room, looking just as wide-eyed and frozen as Basil had during his panic attack in the bathroom and… confrontation in the bedroom. “...Sunny.”
He watched Basil swallow nervously, then approached the boy’s bed with slow, uncertain strides. Visions passed through Sunny’s mind: shadowy figures wandering black rooms, calloused hands wrapping around a jump rope. Those same calloused hands wrapping around his throat, raising a pair of well-worn gardening shears to the sky.
Sunny watched those calloused hands tremble as they gripped the hospital bed sheets. He looked Basil up and down, at the dozens of cuts on his face and the bandages on his arms and legs. Had he really done all of that?
Lost in thought, Sunny barely noticed Basil trying to crawl away from him, pressing his back up against the rear frame of his bed and curling up as best as he could. He’d seen fear on Basil’s face many times. When they were kids and he’d watch his friends doing something stupid, over the past three days, in his dreams, and now. A part of Sunny, buried deep down, reflected that Omori’s slaughter of Headspace Basil and the way his vision went unsteady as he stared at Basil said something about him. Something he didn’t like.
“I… I’m so sorry.” Basil hugged his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as he avoided Sunny’s gaze. “I thought I was helping…” His voice shook as he spoke. Most would’ve taken it for an excuse, but Sunny knew better. Basil didn’t make excuses. Not for himself, at least.
Helping was something Basil did – or tried to do – frequently, Sunny reflected. He didn’t seem to succeed often at it. Sunny flexed his fingers, wiping a last stray tear from his functioning eye.
These hands had murdered Mari and could very well have murdered Basil last night. Running a hand over his raw knuckles, Sunny wondered if that was what both of them had wanted.
Basil? No. At the end of the day, he still wanted to be happy.
Sunny?
Basil hung Mari. He made it worse than it had to be. He almost killed you last night.
Sunny didn’t like listening to that little voice, even though he knew its words to be more than truthful.
You should hate him.
Slowly, feeling his hands shake, Sunny began to walk to Basil’s bed. Perhaps he should hate him. Some disturbed part of him did, clearly. But…
He sat down on Basil’s bed, feeling the cheap frame creak under his sparse weight.
Basil stared up at him, shaking so hard he looked like he was being tazed.
Thinking about it more – it was still Sunny’s fault Basil had ended up like this. He shouldn’t blame Basil for it.
No, not exactly… Basil was a prime example of why that line of thinking didn’t work.
Maybe Basil wasn’t blameless, but Sunny couldn’t blame a child for trying to fix things, trying to keep his best friend close when he had no idea what to do. He knew almost as well as Basil how much the boy feared being alone. Maybe that was what motivated him to keep watering Basil’s flowers in Headspace.
…And Sunny knew what his father was like when he got angry. It was more than possible that Basil had saved his life. Really, he should’ve told… Mari… or a professional about the boy’s mental health issues rather than keeping Basil’s secrets.
Funny how secrets just seemed to permeate their relationship. Maybe that could change.
Sunny tentatively reached out a hand, not wanting to think about how much less gentle the last time he’d touched Basil had been, and brushed aside a lock of the boy’s hair. Basil’s breath hitched, and he seemed more confused than scared now. That was… an improvement.
His hand seemed to burn a little as he touched Basil, but he ignored it.
Sunny didn’t know why exactly he smiled. Maybe it was just relief that he’d freed himself and Basil from their horrible mutual secret. Maybe it was something about hope for the future, even without their supposed friends that had just stormed out of the room. They still had each other; but then again, Basil was far too pure for someone like him.
Basil had made it worse, and Sunny wasn’t happy about that, but he was still the one that had killed her. He had started all of this.
But regardless of his confused, churning feelings, in spite of all they’d gone through and all he’d put Basil through, a genuine smile formed on Sunny’s face. His eyes crinkled as he placed a hand on Basil’s cheek, encouraging him to not avert his eyes. Sunny swallowed as he started to speak again. “...I’m sorry. For everything I did to you,” He wrapped a hand around Basil’s, watching the boy’s eyes widen even further — that really couldn’t be healthy.
Sunny’s voice was scratchy and soft, like a dirty street kitten. Clearing his throat didn’t help much – he’d have to get speech therapy.
Basil opened his mouth a few times, trying to form words, but failed miserably. He looked down and away from Sunny’s gaze before a small smile formed on his lips. Quicker than it had appeared, though, it vanished. He looked up at Sunny again. “...Why?”
Sunny frowned, removing his hand from Basil’s cheek. The boy seemed to deflate a little at that. “You’re my best friend. I understand why you did it.” This just seemed to make Basil shrink further in on himself.
“Now… do you forgive me?” Sunny continued, hiding his shaking hands in the folds of his hospital gown.
“H-huh? W-what’s there to forgive?” Basil’s eyes didn’t quite meet Sunny’s. Some part of him seemed to know exactly what there was to forgive.
“You know.” Sunny leaned forward, wrapping his arms around Basil’s midsection. The boy gasped, not seeming to know how to react at first, but returned the hug after a moment. “You know what I’m talking about.”
Basil squeezed Sunny tightly. In the corner of his vision, he could see Basil tightly shutting his eyes. “I… just…” Basil seemed to give up on words and buried his head in Sunny’s shoulder, breathing softly.
“I’m not perfect, Basil. I never have been.”
“B-but-” Basil stiffened.
“I can’t save you. I… I know what you were going to do last night. I succeeded this time, but only because I got lucky. You need help, and hope you’ll receive it, because I can’t provide it.”
For one moment, Basil remained completely still and silent, not even seeming to be breathing – then he spoke again.
“There was… never Something behind you, was there?”
Sunny rubbed his best friend’s back gently, appreciating the warmth after so long without human touch. It felt almost electrifying, to the point his heart was beating faster than normal. Basil was so soft.
Pulling his thoughts away from Basil and trying to quell the inexplicable heat in his face, Sunny chose his next words carefully. “...No. There wasn’t. It was me. It’s always been me.”
Sunny felt a dark wisp brushing against his shoulder, fading into the far-beyond. He hoped Basil felt the same thing – or at least would.
Sunny had almost managed to forget he’d have to face his mother along with his friends.
Almost.
He spent the next few days under more careful watch before being released from the hospital. Unsurprisingly, it was rather boring. He spent most of his time playing with a Rubik’s cube one of the Faraway townsfolk had given him and staring at the sun, just out his window. Sometimes, he wished he could speak with Basil, but his now-unused eye socket always felt a little strange when the thought came up.
Throughout those days, though, Sunny felt a constant pit in his stomach at the idea of having to meet his mother. She’d spent those four years out of the house as often as possible, a polar opposite to her son. He wondered how much she knew about Mari’s death. There was just something about the way his mother looked at him that didn’t seem… quite right.
Sunny’s suspicions were confirmed. Pulling away from his mother’s tearful hug, he said that he had to tell her something about Mari’s death.
She said that she knew. She’d always known, but didn’t want to let her only child be taken away.
Part of Sunny wanted to just let her keep believing it was all his fault, but he knew Basil wouldn’t want that. If he really wanted to do his best friend a favor after beating him to a pulp, this was it.
Ms. Suzuki reacted without words. Her brow furrowed, forehead wrinkled, fist clenched.
As they sat in the car together, though, Ms. Suzuki was the one tearfully apologizing to Sunny for letting him rot away for so long, unable to look at the face of the boy who’d killed her daughter. He didn’t catch all of it, but there was a lot of ‘I’m a failure of a mother’ and ‘I’ll do better’ mixed in there.
It probably wasn’t a good time to tell her he’d wanted to kill himself, he figured, so he stayed quiet as the drive to their new home began.
Now that Sunny was (supposed to be) rejoining society, there was so much he could do that he tried to do nothing at all. He spent the first few days in the new house moping around, losing himself in the veritable maze of boxes. Their new apartment was smaller than the old house in Faraway, but that made sense. What bothered him most was how loud it was. Cars zipped by outside, people shouted constantly, and he was quite sure he heard gunshots one time.
Like the city, Headspace was fragmented. A shell of its former self, pieces littered about his mind and dreams: what was left of Omori standing over the beached corpse of Humphrey, watching the wreck of the Last Resort washing up onto shore. The piano boy was still present in some form, but part of Sunny had vanished into the aether alongside him after their final battle.
Omori had been what he wanted to be, and yet something he simply couldn’t be.
When he wasn’t watching the old playground in his head fall to pieces, Sunny stared at the ceiling in his room, thinking about where it all went wrong and not wanting to think about how to make it right. He’d spent so long trying and been met with rejection by his friends. He might still have Basil, he thought.
But he didn’t want to think.
He was so, so tired.
Sleep would be so much easier.
That was just how the new city and new life were, he supposed. As did his mother, who eventually forced him out of the house. She and Sunny explored the streets together, her keeping a hold on his hand as though he were a child again. If it didn’t make him feel as safe as it did, he’d have been embarrassed.
🌻
As Sunny began to appreciate the hustle-bustle of the city, he ended up dragging his mother around like he was with Kel three days before the move. They went to a Subway inside a subway, something he found more amusing than he should have, and in the afternoon Ms. Suzuki bought him a bag of shredded cheese that he ate in one sitting in a deserted backstreet.
Sunny felt nervous, tense, despite the pleasant day. Navigating crowds filled with people, people who were innocent and led better lives than him, which they deserved – it made a boy tense.
As Sunny passed a dark alley, his legs froze solid.
A single eye peered from the narrow darkness.
The sight of Something launched the contents of his stomach up into his throat. No matter how hard he tried to calm down, Sunny could not keep himself from vomiting in the middle of the street. She still watched him. What if, like his friends, she hated him? Saw him as the murderer he knew himself to be?
…
After he’d calmed down, it turned out to be the eye of a roughed-up stray cat.
However, Sunny went outside again after a few days of psyching himself up. There was something uniquely addictive about seeing everything he’d missed out on while he dreamt away in Headspace. A few weeks into his daily walks, he went outside without his mother. He’d tried it once before and immediately found it hard to breathe, so he went back inside. This time, he hoped it’d be different.
The crowds, lights, noises all felt suffocating; at the same time, it felt like freedom.
And he hated it.
Every moment reminded Sunny these were things Mari couldn’t have, because he had killed her. These were things his friends would find hard to appreciate, because he’d destroyed the glue that kept their group together. If Mari couldn’t feel happy, why should he?
Such were his thoughts as Sunny stared down at the telephone. He sat in his room, still surrounded by moving boxes. He had the blinds drawn tightly shut.
Call Basil. A simple objective. He should find out how his best friend was doing after all that had happened, see if their friends had forgiven them.
He ran his fingers around the black device numbly. He could barely see his reflection in it.
Just like that night.
(His eye ached. Which one, it didn’t matter-)
An open door, a boy facing the window, a moon high above, two scared faces visible in the glass’ reflection-
Sunny felt the phone sliding through his sweaty grip.
(Basil missed him.)
Peace, for just one moment. Right before the storm.
Basil didn’t want to hurt him.
(Basil wanted him.)
Shears.
So, Sunny should just… call him.
(He felt his heart burn.)
“Stop trying to leave me!”
No one should fear their best friend.
(Why were his lungs fighting to breathe?)
“That’s mean…”
It was.
Sunny felt his heart stab against his chest as the phone slipped through his palms and clattered to the floor in the midst of his reverie. His ribs choked his lungs, and he could see one eye staring back at him in the dark reflection of the telephone.
Just like that night.
🌻
Sunny could have failed. Basil could be dead, and it would be his fault. If Basil followed Sunny’s advice, sought help, and realized what a terrible person his ‘best friend’ was… he’d hate him.
Was that the right thing? It should be, so why did Sunny’s head spin when he thought about it?
It didn’t matter in the end. Basil had to live without him, and Sunny was a murderer; both had to move on knowing these things.
After failing to call Basil, Sunny wondered if he could call his friends. Every time he thought of them, that old desire came back: one for a time where his sister lived, he was innocent, his friends were unscarred. A time of picnics by the lake, long nights with soft pillow forts and soft Basils, warmth on his face and-
Sunny’s eyes slowly drifted open. He faced the same plain ceiling he’d been seeing since the move, a bowl of lukewarm soup by his bedside, prepared by his mother after she found him having his panic attack.
Sunny had to learn and relearn a lot of things. He spoke more with his mother, then with the therapist and speech therapist. Fortunately, his therapist was a family friend who could safely be informed of the truth by his mother. He didn’t like talking, but it made his mother happy, so he did it anyway. Or tried his best, at least. Sunny mostly talked about his life after moving; he had to talk, but he sure as hell didn’t have to talk about his friends, and had no intention of doing so.
What was even harder than learning to speak again was learning to eat again. Sunny was quite malnourished by the time he got out of the hospital. They went to see a dietician and formed a plan to ease Sunny back into proper eating habits. He didn’t know exactly how looking at the diet plan made him feel, but he knew he didn’t like it.
What was even worse than learning to eat again was plain old learning. Sunny had been homeschooled during the four years indoors. Now, though? His mother sent him to summer classes to catch up on the material she had failed to teach him. At the very least, it was with a private tutor, so he didn’t have to deal with other kids.
Sunny finally relearnt the date of his birthday a few days before it happened, when his mother asked him to pick a present. He settled on a sketchbook.
Ms. Suzuki spent as much time as she could preparing. Pretty much all her hours off work were dedicated to setting up streamers, buying a cake, and being ashamed she forgot what his favorite flavor was.
On the day of, Sunny woke from a dream where he had died instead of Mari. Headspace had been shattered after his duel against Omori. Sometimes, he still saw the old residents wandering around his newer, more normal dreams, but there weren’t any of the complex stories he used to experience.
The actual ‘party’ was… pleasant, for the most part. Ms. Suzuki had asked if he wanted to invite any of his friends. Sunny pondered it, fingers hovering over the keys that would input Basil’s familiar phone number.
But something struck Sunny.
The last time he’d seen Basil, he’d beaten him to a pulp, dropped more guilt onto him by losing an eye, screwed up the confession (he had forgotten to explain that he blacked out the photos, and Basil certainly wouldn’t tell) and never technically told Basil he didn’t hate him. Before that, he’d ruined Basil’s most precious possession and killed someone in front of him, traumatizing the poor boy for life. Before all that, he let Basil keep that secret for four years, completely alone, putting Basil’s worst fear in motion.
It wasn’t someone else doing those things, like it had been back when he was Omori. It was Sunny. He went into Basil’s room that night to save him, but given what had happened afterwards, he could’ve just as easily killed him or gotten himself killed.
Could Sunny trust himself around his ‘best friend?’
…Well, his mother wouldn’t let Basil around, anyway.
Sunny received his requested sketchbook from his mother, along with some art supplies, and a few milquetoast gifts from extended family: cards with money and empty well-wishes. His father and supposed friends send nothing, unsurprisingly. If he even gave them his address, they wouldn’t have reached out.
Still, though, seeing his mother so happy almost made Sunny happy. That changed when he stared down at his sixteen flaming candles, lighting up the dark dining room.
Again, Sunny found himself looking down at the phone. Should he be this afraid of Basil? What was he afraid of, really?
Basil had hurt him and Mari, but it hadn’t come from a place of malice. Sunny rubbed his temple with one hand. He could be the one to hurt Basil – again.
Maybe this wasn’t a good idea at all. Basil had to learn not to rely on Sunny so much, not when Sunny couldn’t be the person Basil thought he was. There shouldn’t be any harm in just a call. Basil would probably love to hear from him, even.
Sunny’s fingers hovered above the number pad. Basil probably missed him.
Would Basil really want to listen to him, though?
It’d been months since the move.
Months.
Months.
Sunny hadn’t contacted any of his friends – including Basil. He’d run away again , absorbed in his own head, in his own problems, and not caring an iota for others.
They must all hate him now – including Basil.
His arm was frozen, locked into place as though by rigor mortis, refusing to move even as the itchy fabric of his sweater dug into the crook of his elbow, making it sweat.
You haven’t changed one bit, have you?
You’re the same person that abandoned them.
You’re the same person that killed her.
You’re the same person you were when you hid with me.
Had his mind been trying to distract him from this certainty?
Sunny looked at his arm again. It was shuddering now, violently. He grabbed onto it with one hand and tried to steady his breathing, shaking his head to clear it.
Stop that. Everything you’re doing.
Basil had no reason to want to see him again – not anymore, certainly.
Sunny’s breath felt like it was burning his throat. He closed his eyes, swallowing. He had to let his friends move on.
Even if it was without him.
Eventually, Sunny had to go back to school properly. He got curious glances for his white medical eyepatch, and some people even seemed to think it was cool, but both bullies and potential friends scurried away once they realized just how stunningly uninteresting he was. So, to his relief, Sunny was generally left alone. He was more than a little glad when people stopped asking about the eyepatch. He didn’t even like seeing it, let alone thinking about its origin.
Sunny got good grades again, even if they weren’t quite on Mari’s level. Ms. Suzuki didn’t push him, though. They both knew the potential consequences.
The months went by, and Sunny began to settle into a standard routine of sorts. He got up, cleaned up, avoided looking in the mirror, ate breakfast with his mother before he left for school and she for work, and then he’d walk to the bus stop, ignoring the calls by street vendors and salesmen. Usually, he wore his old sweater vest and khakis; he had other clothes, but no sense of fashion.
Sunny then sat alone on the bus, watching the city flash by, and made his way through the day in a haze. He relied mostly on raw talent rather than actual studying. When he did study, though, it provided a nice mental break from everything swirling around in his head; there was certainly a lot of that.
When he got home, Sunny did his homework diligently, then just sort of screwed around for a few hours, doing standard teenager things like… playing pet rocks. Honestly, he had no idea what ‘standard teenagers’ were supposed to do, so he mostly just played pet rocks.
God, that really was his life now, huh?
Sunny had dinner with his mother once she got home, which was usually pleasant. If he was feeling up to it, he’d have gone out for a walk to the arcade and played Squirrel Thrower 2k01 in the corner, or maybe taken a bus to Central Park and done some exploration. He always found himself back at home, though, sitting across from Ms. Suzuki at the dining table. It was one of the more pleasant parts of his day.
After that, it was back to staring at the ceiling. Sunny’s friends were gone. Basil was gone. ‘Making new memories’ was a farce, and it was one of Sunny’s own making. Part of him was gone now, and perhaps the fact that he still cared so much about people whose lives he’d destroyed was the most pathetic thing about him.
The least or most pleasant point was usually when Sunny dreamt. He lay down and fell asleep before his head hit the pillow, mind now filled with visions of colorful friends, recollections of his life up to that point, or… darker things. He still saw the Stranger, musing aloud that Basil probably still wanted to see him.
Even if he did, it wouldn’t be a good thing for Basil if Sunny met him again. No matter how much Sunny-
Moonlight glinting off steel. Blood and iron. A new numbness, different from the one you’ve felt for so many years.
-wanted-
“Stop it!”
-to.
🌷
Sunny’s chest felt light at the fact he couldn’t see Basil for the boy’s own good. Very, very light.
Empty?
…Sunny saw that bedroom in his dreams, over and over again. It was either that or the day by the staircase. It was often different by just a little.
Sometimes, Basil begged and pleaded for Sunny to come closer, clutching those bloodied shears to his chest, and they embraced before Sunny felt a sharp pain in his back and an, “A good person wouldn’t do something like that…” whispered into his ear.
Other times, it would be a similar situation, but Sunny pulled a steak knife from his shorts and shoved it into Basil’s stomach, twisting it slowly and watching wine-red blood bubble from his best friend’s mouth. Those eyes looked the same as they had on the day of the recital.
Other times, Sunny’s mother, Mari, or one of his ‘friends’ would pin Basil to the ground, right outside their lake hideout, midday sun beating down on their backs. The sound of buzzing dragonflies and bees was drowned out by Basil’s screaming as whoever was his tormentor that day beat him, again and again. Maybe with a nailed bat, maybe a knife, even a frying pan. The absurdity of the last one wasn’t enough to stop Sunny from waking up crying and screaming.
Or Sunny himself would kill Basil, or Basil would kill Sunny, or Basil would push Mari down the stairs, and the Stranger would watch from a distance as Omori worked his magic.
The Stranger would grimace if he could.
🌷
Sunny couldn’t tell what exactly these dreams were supposed to mean. He brought them up to his therapist. She said they meant a lot of things: he was afraid Basil hated him – true, yes – that he was afraid of what his friends might do to Basil – not unreasonable. She said… other things, too.
He didn’t like listening to those dream meanings.
On some rare, blessed occasions, Sunny had a good dream which didn’t devolve into someone being shanked like they were in London. He sometimes found himself in White Space, Omori staring at him and not doing much of anything (he was jobless now, of course), while Headspace Basil was kind enough to let Sunny rest his head on his lap. There were other dreams Sunny had, too – he knew they were about Basil, and that they were warm, leaving him with an ache in his chest and heat on his face when he awoke.
Sunny always noted how dry his lips felt after those dreams in particular. He couldn’t remember any specifics, though.
This routine went on and on.
Sometimes, there were more special days, where his mother would take him to the mall and encourage him to experiment as much as he liked. She seemed more than a little surprised when he came out of a hot topic with painted nails and an extremely outdated band t-shirt, but supported his new look nonetheless. Eventually, she’d even let him get his ears pierced, something his parents would have never let Mari do.
Sunny opened up to his therapist, little by little, taking deep breaths and offering small pieces of himself so the doctor could put together the puzzle. In October, he felt his chest tighten whenever he looked at the calendar, but had a pleasant Halloween anyway. It was a small, private party with his mother. Some would find it quite sad, and maybe it was, but Sunny treasured it regardless.
Sunny spent more and more time thinking as his therapy sessions continued. His friends hated him, no doubt. Basil might not, but he should . Even though he knew this, Sunny felt guilt gnawing at him every time he looked at the phone. He should at least check on him.
But no. Basil couldn’t and shouldn’t rely on someone as selfish as him. He had to let go of Sunny. Basil would be much happier if he moved on and found new friends, better friends. He’d dreamed of brutally murdering the boy, then beaten him black and blue while trying to ‘save’ him from himself – there was no way he could be trusted around Basil.
Sunny knew this had to hurt Basil. He and his other friends had always been there for him. Even if he didn’t vent his frustrations by talking the way Basil did, the boy could always tell when Sunny was frustrated. Basil would let him rest his head in his lap and gently stroke his hair, promising him it’d be fine. Even back then, Sunny had never believed it; he just liked hearing Basil’s voice.
Forgiveness was something he’d yearned for, and he’d been denied it. There was no point begging now. Not when he had caused so much damage already by tearing open those old wounds.
As Sunny’s therapist learned more about him and his friends, though, she made recommendations that he… disagreed with. The most common was for him to try reconnecting with his old friends. As she put it, “Everyone’s had some time. It’s been months since the truth came out… I think it’d be good for all of you to meet again. You need friends, Sunny!” all in that overly-agreeable, chipper tone. It ground against his ears like metal on metal, even if he knew she was far more versed in this subject than he.
Of course, he could never deny that all-consuming want – even if they and Basil hated him – straining at his ribcage, yearning to break free, as though someone had somehow inserted a terrier into his chest. Sunny chuckled at that end to an otherwise somber metaphor.
Thanksgiving was just as lonely as Halloween. Sunny loved his mother dearly, but he missed Kel, Hero and Aubrey, even if they hated him. He… missed Basil, and most of all, he missed Mari. Little by little, his resolve was worn down as he watched people walking around school with their friends. He shouldn’t have felt jealous; to his knowledge, no one at his school had, you know, murdered their own sister. But he did anyway.
Sunny couldn’t deny that he felt a twinge of envy run through him when he saw young couples, too, walking around campus with hands intertwined. God, he deserved that even less than peoples’ friendship. Who would Sunny date, anyhow? Thinking back to people he used to crush on… Aubrey would never reciprocate his advances. And honestly, seeing what Aubrey had done to his best friend while he was isolated… even if it was his fault…
Aubrey had changed. Sunny had changed a little bit, too. A relationship between them wouldn’t work. Truthfully, he wasn’t too sure if he wanted it to work. He might’ve become infatuated with his childhood crush on her during his four timeless years, but you couldn’t build a relationship out of nothing but puppy love. Sunny couldn’t really see himself in a romantic relationship at all, actually. Maybe with-
Visions of blond hair, flowers, blood and a full moon filled Sunny’s mind, and he pinched himself to stop the daydream. He didn’t quite know why his face felt so warm all of a sudden. He didn’t like it, though.
Sunny passed sporting stores with basketballs and baseball bats, cooking supply shops with frying pans and aprons for sale, and florists with every flower under the sun. He swore he could feel the sunflower’s gaze digging into his back. It implored him to choose between what was easy and what was right.
Well… it wasn’t easy. But it was easier for Sunny’s heart. It certainly wasn’t easy for Basil.
Was Sunny hurting him more by staying away, or helping him? It was possible he was doing both.
Or just the former.
Sunny kept walking.
Sunny saw them everywhere. Basil most of all, though. Every bit of nature seemed to remind him of his once-best friend. Every walk by the park, look at the plants on the windowsill, glance outside the school. It reminded him he could see Basil again, and the boy would probably be downright ecstatic . He’d hug Sunny as hard as he could, burying his soft face in his chest, gently chide him for being away for so long, reach up and cup his cheek, lean in-
Every time, Sunny felt little tendrils peeking out at him from the shadows. His delusions had never quite left him.
These little moments of peace were where Sunny missed his friends most, regardless. When he was younger, they were the ones he’d experience only with his friends, where they’d drag him around town to see the pretty sights. During his final three days in Faraway, those roles had flipped somewhat.
Sunny didn’t care who was dragging who. He just wanted his friends back.
Sunny had tried a few more times to call Kel, Aubrey, and Hero. But he’d forced Kel to repress his feelings, turned Aubrey into a bully, and ruined Hero’s life.
What was easy and what was right?
Sunny hadn’t tried to call Basil again. He shouldn’t try to call him. He would-
-hurt him.
…Sunny had saved Basil from a terrible fate, but saddled him with one that was only good by comparison. At least it’s one free from Sunny’s horrific influence.
Pacing around his room, now decorated with Spaceboy posters and drawings with the afternoon sun filtering in through the window, Sunny buried his face in his hands. The phone lay discarded on his bed after yet another failed attempt to call his friends.
Sunny flopped onto the mattress face-down and heard the head of the bed creak, then a dull thud and puff. He looked up, bleary-eyed and still unused to his healthier sleep schedule – one of the books in his bedside shelf had fallen over, revealing another one behind it.
Tentatively, Sunny reached forward, fingers wrapping around the spine of the green volume, and pulled it out. He knew on sight what it was; seeing the cover only confirmed it.
In golden lettering: Basil’s Memories.
Sunny felt his stomach twist. His mother had told him they had the album with them, but he didn’t think he was quite ready to look at it, so he hadn’t asked for its location. And now it was right here, right in front of him.
He really had to return this thing. He slowly sat up, balancing the album on his thigh, and considered letting it fall open. It had been months since Basil had given this to him – his most prized possession, and he’d just let it gather dust. Granted, the memories were rather tainted these days, but still.
Basil had trusted Sunny with this album, and he wasn’t even using it. He should either start actually looking through it regularly or bring it back to Basil.
Part of Sunny, a rather cowardly one, would’ve liked to keep the album closed and shove it in a drawer until he felt ready to look at it. Another part that had grown more potent with the collapse of Headspace, though, wanted to take a walk through the past before letting go of it.
Every second he spent doing other things now was one second added to the time until he’d have to bring this album back to Basil.
Sunny let the album fall open on his knee. The paper was well-loved, but still crisp.
The very first page began with a younger Sunny holding that damnable violin. Immediately, his grip around the page tightened and the paper folded, but he relaxed it after a moment. He couldn’t afford to damage the album, not when it was still so full of memories – even painful ones – and especially not when it was the rightful property of Basil.
Back then, none of them had any idea what was to come, had they? Although Basil may have feared some kind of terrible change, knowing him.
Speaking of Basil… Sunny’s eyes drifted to the next photo, one he’d kept out of focus deliberately until right now. This one was of Basil at his twelfth birthday party. He looked so… happy. It almost felt unnatural, considering how visibly depressed Basil had been the last time Sunny had seen him.
Sunny brushed a hand against the photograph, feeling it shake as it pressed on the glossy surface. They all looked so happy back then. Hell, they were so happy.
His mind drifted back to a late night in his bedroom with Basil, where the boy had to tell him something and pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal-
Maybe they hadn’t been entirely happy.
Even so – Sunny looked at the right edge of the image, where Mari’s face smiled at him from – it had been better in every way.
Sunny’s fingers shook as he turned the page of a book filled with photos of people whose lives he’d ruined or ended, one way or another.
Kel’s intense arm-wrestling match against Hero, doomed to fail from the start.
Always so happy, until you took his friends and even his brother from him. He had to push aside his own feelings to help others. He’s too selfless, and the only reason he has to be is you.
Hero and Mari, holding hands by the lake with their younger friends draped across their laps.
He has to do the same thing as Kel now. Burying what he feels because you made him think it was his fault his soulmate was dead when it was yours.
Aubrey winking in the rain, Kel making bunny ears behind her; if it wasn’t Kel, she’d have probably liked it.
She’s been angry and alone for four years. You forced her to find new friends because you took away her old ones. How could you have ever loved her?
At least he didn’t now.
Near Aubrey, Basil. Sitting in a grassy field with the girls by his side, laughing shyly as he modeled his new flower crown.
He might never recover from what you did to him. Physically, mentally. He used to at least try to be a sunflower. He can barely do that now, not when there isn’t really any bright side for him.
Always the daisy, though, right?
And he doesn’t have a sun anymore.
Why does it make your head feel light? Is your heart empty, or is it free?
It could be both.
Sunny stared at the perfectly innocent image of Basil. Frozen in time, never traumatized, never having made that mistake on that day. He pressed a shaking hand against the photograph.
Basil and him had had similar goals, at the end of the day. Running from the future, trying to stay in the past – although Basil had always wanted it.
Sunny wiped his hand on his sweater, realizing how sweaty it had become. He’d… better move on. Turning the page again, he found himself staring at the second to last photograph. It was of himself – and her.
She loved you. The only reason she pushed you was that she wanted you to succeed.
Is that really right? She was definitely under some pressure from the family to perform well. There’s a reason she was always such an overachiever.
…That doesn’t change the fact she always wanted the best for you. You absolute failure. Every moment you live is one she could’ve, if you didn’t kill her.
Over a recital.
More than a decade of life by her side, and you had to ruin it. She wasn’t perfect – but she was the best person you ever knew. She still is.
…
You haven’t even visited her grave since moving away. Or checked up on her friends.
You have to do it, even if it’s just for her. In a way, you’re the last person who thinks about who she really is, not the angelic caricature people pass off as her, fighting in its name even though that’s not who she is.
She fed pigeons at the park like an old lady and joked about needing a cane when she broke her knee in softball. She let you cry into her shoulder when you had nightmares about cartoon monsters, never once trying to humiliate you for it like Kel or the other kids at school would. Her hugs were just as warm then as they were when she cried into your shoulder because of how stressful her injury was, how hard it was to stay strong for everyone else. If only she had allowed herself to be more vulnerable just once; if only you hadn’t made her feel like you were her responsibility.
She wasn’t infallible, and she may have nagged or broken a child’s nose for bullying you – but even when she pranked them incessantly, she loved her friends, she loved you, and you loved her right back.
Now you have to prove that. She would forgive you on the spot for ending her life, but would never forgive you for abandoning her friends. And do you really want to abandon them?
🌻
Why had Sunny done it in the first place? Fear was a definite factor – Aubrey, Kel and Hero had the right to hate him, and were more than capable of exercising it – not that that excused his cowardice. He felt his head swim, brain pressing against its cage, already knowing what came next and screaming to be let free so it wouldn’t have to acknowledge it.
But his mind kept soldiering on. It had already lost its grip and was falling down the rabbit hole, and it knew it.
Why had Sunny ignored Basil? He told himself farces over and over again, that Basil hated him – he never would – that that was the problem, that he had to learn to live on his own, but he could recover from his attachment while keeping some contact with Sunny. Not thinking his best friend hated him would probably help Basil more than hurt him.
No, Sunny knew the real reason, buried deep inside his psyche, near the one that had spawned endless dreams of Basil’s death at his hands. They had spent equally endless hours together, under the shade of the forest around the lake, in the lamplight of their bedrooms, under a soft quilt on the couch lit by the TV late at night, quietly sharing their lives. Sunny did so silently, preferring to let Basil tell him it was alright, while Basil talked on for hours and hours about his problems and Sunny listened, feeling anger or sadness on his best friend’s behalf.
Back then, life had felt complete. Sunny had something to look forward to: a new book, a new plant fact, new this, new that, with an old friend. Basil never felt lonely when they were together. It was nice – he wasn’t relying on someone else for once, but had someone relying on him. Looking back on it, it wasn’t quite so simple, but that was how it felt at the time.
And yet, all those months spent together couldn’t truly dilute what happened on the day of the recital.
When he closed his eyes, Sunny could still see her eye as she hung. When he looked in a mirror, he saw his eye, reminding him that he deserved it for what he’d done to Mari and Basil. And yet that didn’t change the fact that Sunny’s mind replayed that day by the stairs and night in Basil’s bedroom every time he thought about his best friend, who he’d barely spoken to in four years. More than four years, now, because he was too much of a coward to sort through all these things he felt.
Sunny gripped his hair with sweaty, unsteady hands, feeling his upper body sway as the photo album fell off his lap onto the bed. His body felt like it was barely there and managed to tingle anyway, reminding him that this was how he’d felt so many times near Basil and when he thought about him.
Every time you think of what you did to him, what he did to you, what both of you did to your supposed friends.
Sunny choked on something in his throat as he realized through his blurry vision that he’d ended up on the floor, a contorted shape running into his room.
For a moment, it looked like the Stranger, or perhaps Omori. Maybe both.
We cannot keep doing this.
🌻
…So Sunny didn’t. He spoke to his therapist, and she reaffirmed that he should try to see his friends again, because some part of him clearly wanted to, and this was an essential step in getting over his fear.
When the snow began to fall over the city and winter break began, Sunny finally found the courage to bring it up to his mother. It was early in the morning, and she was sitting at the dining table, having a cup of coffee. The window had frosted over and he could barely see the cityscape surrounding their apartment.
Grateful for the heater, Sunny slowly sat down across from Ms. Suzuki, hands gripping the cuffs of his black sweater. She looked up at him curiously. “What is it, Sunny?”
“I… wanted to ask you something,” Sunny’s voice still sounded scratchy, soft and uncertain, even after months of speech therapy.
“Anything.” His mother set down the mug, smiling warmly.
“I think… I think that I want to take a trip back to Faraway. I-I could stay with Kel and Hero…” Sunny clasped his hands under the table. He was lying through his teeth. There was no way Kel and Hero would let him stay with them.
Ms. Suzuki’s grip on the mug tightened considerably, but lessened after a moment. “...Well, it would be good for you to meet them again. Kel, Aubrey and Hero were such good friends, and I’m sure they’ve forgiven you already!” She placed a hand on his head. Beneath the table, he clenched his fists; she’d excluded Basil’s name on purpose.
Even Sunny’s therapist told him it was probably best to stay away from Basil for a while, considering all the trauma they’d caused each other. Sunny agreed – he just didn’t care.
“It wasn’t Basil’s fault,” Sunny wanted to hiss, but this was an old argument. Instead, he took a deep breath and replied, “So, you’ll let me go?”
Ms. Suzuki put a hand over his. “You’re going to have to take a bus by yourself. I’ve still got work, but I’ll catch up by Christmas Eve, alright?”
Sunny nodded, trying not to let the relief show on his face. He couldn’t look too enthusiastic.
“Okay. I think you’re independent enough to make it on your own for a few weeks.” Ms. Suzuki smiled, standing up. “Have fun… and stay safe!” She walked to her bedroom to find a packing list.
Sunny leaned back in his chair, folding his hands over his stomach.
If Basil wouldn’t take him in, he was absolutely screwed.
So, Sunny found himself stepping off the bus into Faraway Town, walking through the deserted, snow-covered streets. The chill bit at his nose and eartips. Even his gloved hands, stuffed deep inside his pockets, weren’t safe from the cold. The sky blended in with the distant countryside, both stark white.
Sunny bit back the urge to let his teeth chatter, wishing he’d had the courage to call Basil rather than putting off his confrontation for this long. At the very least, he was wearing a scarf, hat, large backpack and heavy jacket, so anyone who knew him probably wouldn’t recognize him.
Well… Basil might, considering how well he knew Sunny’s body language.
Hoping he’d at least be able to see Basil before Basil saw him, Sunny kept to the sidewalk, passing under the bare churchside trees. He walked through the gates of the cemetery with a small lily of the valley held tightly in his pocket. He’d bought it from Fix-It, and just wished he had the money to buy a few more.
Sunny had thought he’d visit Mari first, then Basil, but it seemed he’d have to multitask.
Walking up to Mari’s grave just ahead of him, not having spotted Sunny yet and with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hands, was Basil Altenstein.
Notes:
Graphic violence (in a dream) begins and ends w/ 🌷
Graphic depictions of panic attacks begin and end w/ 🌻okay did any of this make sense. was it bloated. overall unnecessary? better placed elsewhere in the future chapter lineup?
uhhhhh yeah that's it. ch14's in progress, no idea when that'll b out lmao. hopefully on schedule, but i prioritize quality over speed.
Chapter 14: Grain and Seed
Summary:
Sunny faces the consequences of his actions (again).
Notes:
i have no idea what i'm doing at this point but i hope it goes well
on time this time!!!!!111
Beta read by UdonPuddle.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunny rushed forward just in time to catch Basil, head still reeling from the things he’d just heard the boy say to Mari’s grave.
Basil looked… better than he had a few months ago, at least. That didn’t say much. His cheeks had actual color in them, though that might be from the cold, his hair looked less frayed, and he wasn’t covered in bandages anymore. That being said, he still had a few small scars on his face. At least there weren’t any bags under his eyes.
Sunny gently lowered Basil to the ground after making sure he was still breathing. He didn’t like letting go of him.
So, Basil… wanted to let go of Sunny?
That was good, but it’d taken him months to get to this point.
Sunny ran his fingers through his hair. He’d made a terrible mistake when he left Basil again. Well, at least he was here now.
This didn’t fix much. What was he supposed to do? Carry Basil home and wait for him to wake up? Actually, that shouldn’t be too hard… he’s not exactly large.
Sunny wrapped his arms around Basil again and hoisted him into the air – or, at least, tried to. He grunted and hurriedly lowered the boy to the ground again after just a moment.
He had not expected Basil to be that heavy. Clearly, he wasn’t fat, and Sunny wasn’t completely pathetic, which could only mean that Basil was jacked.
Gods above.
Even if it was just for a second, there was something comforting about holding Basil so close. Nostalgic.
Sunny dusted off his hands and looked around. He didn’t want to just drag Basil back to his house, but he couldn’t leave him here while he looked for help. Perhaps Basil had a cellphone on him? It felt a little like stealing – not that he hadn’t done it before; he just refused to do it to Basil – but he didn’t have many other options.
As Sunny crouched over Basil’s peacefully sleeping form, digging around in the boy’s coat pockets, he heard a shout from behind him. “Unhand the flower boy, ye vandal!”
Considering how many things had already gone wrong, Sunny should have expected this.
“Yeah, what the master said! Thievery is our job around these parts!” Great, the whole gang was here.
Sunny turned around to find himself face-to-face with the Hooligans, sans Aubrey. Angel, Charlene, The Maverick™, Kim, and Vance. Were they here to hurt Basil? Sunny cracked his knuckles. Even if he was going to get the shit kicked out of him, he should at least try to put up enough of a fight that Basil has time to wake up and run away.
“We were walking by and noticed you looting Bag- Basil.” Kim stepped up, also cracking her knuckles. “We’re not really people to talk, but it’s pretty fucked if you’re beating and stealing from kids – especially that kid.”
“...Huh?” Sunny went slackjawed. This was a new development.
“Hey, wait a minute,” Vance slowly approached Sunny, raising a fist to halt the rest of his group. “Is that Sussy Suzuki? ”
“Sunny. My name is Sunny.” He responded dryly, getting over his temporary confusion.
“Been a while.” Charlene said in her characteristic small voice.
“...Yes, it has.” He rubbed his arm, not knowing where to take the conversation from here.
“So, like… why is Basil unconscious?” Kim asked awkwardly after a moment of silence.
“Indeed! If you are responsible for this cri- ow! ” Vance punched The Maverick™ in The Arm™ before he could continue his speech.
“I think that, uh, he just hadn’t seen me in a while… and when he did, he was just… taken by surprise.” Sunny reflected on the fact that he probably sounded like a madman to these people. Really, he was.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Vance stroked his chin. Well, scratch that.
Sunny tapped his fingers against his thighs, hoping his expression didn’t shift. “...Could you help me carry him home?” He asked after another moment of silence. He hoped he didn’t sound too desperate. “Please, I can’t lift him and I don’t want to leave him in the cold…”
“Fear not, pathetic worm! I, The Maverick™, shall assist you in this endeavor, and ensure my love’s safe passage back to-”
“Please shut the fuck up.” Kim pinched the bridge of her nose. “You’re not Basil’s boyfriend. Get out of your head, Mav.”
My love? Seriously?
What concerned Sunny more than the fact Mikhail was in love with Basil was the heat rising inside him at such a revelation, quelled when Kim corrected him.
Sunny spent the next few minutes in silence, walking with the Hooligans and thinking. He wished Kel was with them; that boy could chatter away for hours. Although, on second thought, he really wasn’t sure he wanted to be near Kel right now.
After some time in thought, Sunny came to the conclusion that the reason Mikhail having a crush on Basil made him so angry was that Sunny simply hated people who wore wigs. Unless they were cancer patients, or something like that.
Such were the strange thoughts that Sunny was in the middle of processing when Kim tapped him on the shoulder. “Oi, knife boy. We’re here.”
Sunny blinked and turned around, realizing the entire group had arrived at Basil’s house. He really had to stop doing that.
“I-I’ll just leave him on the couch…” Charlene mumbled, walking up the driveway with The Maverick™, who was making a variety of dramatic poses as he ‘scouted’ the area. Kim held up a finger.
“Uh… does anyone have a key?” She asked.
“We could just break the window.” Vance suggested casually.
“Yeah! My head makes for a good battering ram!” Angel piped up.
“My disciple speaks the truth!”
“Aubrey would skin all of us alive if we broke Basil’s window-” Kim tried to calm the Hooligans down, but was interrupted by Sunny tugging on her sleeve, holding up a small key he’d retrieved from a flower pot by the door. Some things never changed, evidently.
Kim forbade the rest of the gang from entering the house, saying something about how they’d probably break everything, and Charlene gently set Basil down on the couch, laying a thick blanket over him.
As they did so, Sunny looked around the house. There were just as many plants as a few months back, though several had been moved inside for convenience’s sake. Sunlight, filtered into a more muted color than usual, shone through the frosted windows. He’d spent so much time here when he was younger.
Hours and hours in the gentle glow of the afternoon, huddled against each other on the couch or flopped over it, fans turned to their maximum setting – always with a book to read or a cutesy show on TV. Both liked more mature shows just fine, more-so than Kel and Aubrey did, but it was nice to indulge in simpler things sometimes. And no matter the season, it was always warmer with Basil.
Sunny looked down at him, face and spirit scarred by everything that had happened. He couldn’t blame him for wanting things to go back to the way they were when he’d spent four years wishing the same.
“Alright, um… what do you want us to do now?” Kim clapped her hands together awkwardly, snapping Sunny out of his self-pitying daydream. “We could call Aubrey and Kel, if you want to talk to them…”
“I’d rather not right now-” Sunny tried to keep the panic out of his voice. The idea of meeting Kel, and especially of meeting Aubrey was enough to-
“Hey, Aubrey, what are you doing out here!?” Angel’s voice came from outside.
-send a shiver down his spine.
How inconvenient.
“Um…” Sunny raised a hand, wondering how he could say, ‘Please don’t invite your friend in; I killed her surrogate sister four years ago and she may want to do the same to me’ without sounding like the lunatic he was.
Thinking about it, the Hooligans seemed quite concerned for Basil’s wellbeing, and Aubrey was their leader. She’d apparently forgiven Basil, at least, and probably wouldn’t want to paint Sunny’s brains across the floor when the flower boy was there to witness it.
Assuming he woke up before Aubrey caved Sunny’s skull in.
“Madame Aubergine, you must enter the premises at once! Gaze upon who it is!” The Maverick™ called. Sunny had zoned out a little, because he’d missed Aubrey’s part of the conversation.
“The fuck are you on about, Mav?” Aubrey sighed, opening the door but still facing the outside.
The other side effect of zoning out was that Sunny hadn’t had time to run away.
“The edged-weapon male! Knife man! Shiv boy! British XY chromosome-haver!” The Maverick™ continued to abuse his thesaurus as Aubrey finally turned to look inside the house.
She froze.
Sunny’s blood roared in his ears and cold air brushed against the edges of his eyes, unused to being so wide. He shut them as tight as he could, hoping he could dissociate hard enough to avoid feeling the pain of his inevitable beatdown.
He opened them again, though, as Aubrey roughly shouldered past him. She looked down at Basil with wide eyes, pressing the back of her wrist against his forehead. “Alright, he’s not sick.” She sighed with relief after a moment. “How did you guys get him to sleep on the couch, though? From what I’ve heard, he only ever falls asleep with Polly there.”
Then Aubrey turned around and really took in the rest of the room. Her eyes passed over her gang, the plants, the green wallpaper, and then landed on Sunny.
Aubrey’s pupils dilated to a dozen different sizes in half a second, her fists clenched, and her eyes somehow widened and narrowed at the same time. She slowly began to approach Sunny, each step measured and heavy like a mountain was being moved.
Sunny’s vision went dark at the edges. He willed his legs to move, get him out , but some other part of his brain wanted him to stay and endure what he deserved. The latter held on long enough for the former to realize Aubrey was now right in front of him, still taller in spite of his growth over the past half-year. He looked up at her with shaky eyes, knowing his fear was probably written across his face now – it had already been, technically, but only Basil and Mari would notice the small changes to his demeanor that indicated a larger change in emotion.
Aubrey continued to stare down at Sunny. Her gaze was as indeterminable as before, but he could at least feel its intensity.
“ You. ”
“Yes, it is.” Sunny couldn’t hold himself back, even in situations like these. It was going to get him killed one day, and that day might very well be this one.
Aubrey sputtered and pinched the bridge of her nose, hissing in frustration before continuing, “You… what the hell made you think you could show your face here again?”
Sunny looked away from her, trying to come up with words before she brought out the bat. I just wanted to visit Mari and see how you guys were doing… I’m so sorry… I know there’s nothing I can do to fix what I did…
“Do you have any fucking idea how much Basil missed you!?” Sunny did an internal double take as Aubrey continued. “Kel, Hero and I wanted you here, too. Pulled a disappearing act once and then did it again. You fucking prick-”
The Hooligans slowly backed off, not wanting to get involved with whatever the hell this was.
“I’m sorry.” Sunny raised his hands placatingly. “I-I thought you’d never want to see me again after what I did…”
“God, I thought Kel was supposed to be the stupid one.” Aubrey buried her face in her hands. “Alright, you goddamned ingrate. We should at least gather Kel and Hero here, too, before we fill you in on all the bullshit that’s been going on since you decided to skip town – again.”
Sunny and Aubrey sat in silence with the still-unconscious Basil. Vance had checked him over and declared he wouldn’t be needing any medical attention (‘probably’). The Hooligans had cleared out, recognizing that this was a personal matter for the three of them. He tried to ignore her withering glare and kept his own eyes fixed firmly to the floorboards.
What happened here? Did Aubrey forgive Basil? God, at least one thing would’ve gone right in that instance. She also appeared quick to bring in Kel and Hero, so they didn’t seem unfriendly with the boy.
It felt like hours (it’d actually been three minutes; he counted), the door finally, mercifully opened up and Sunny’s relief immediately evaporated when he realized he had to face Kel and Hero now, too.
Hero walked in first, gently opening the door. He pulled down his scarf and hung his hat on the coat hanger, taking a deep breath. His face was unreadable. “Hello, Sunn-”
Kel proceeded to barrel past Hero and practically tackled Sunny in a bone-crushing bearhug. He almost fell off his chair, but it was heavy enough to just slide across the floor a little. “ Sunny! ” He exclaimed.
Sunny looked up at Kel’s excited face. “Hello.” He deadpanned.
“Come on, don’t crush him. We just got him back.” Hero chuckled as he gently pulled a pouting Kel off of Sunny, letting him sit up again. The brothers slowly shuffled about until they found seats around the living room.
Aubrey took a deep breath, knuckles white. “Alright… so, now that we’re all here, let’s… get started.”
“Uh… yeah.” Kel seemed to realize the awkwardness of the situation, and Hero looked resigned to it.
“Seeing as you got us into this mess by dipping from town, you start – where the fuck have you been?” Aubrey was as direct as ever, then.
“Um…” Sunny shrunk in his seat. “Well, I was in the city-”
“Fuck you.”
“Hey, Aubrey, he’s probably had it rough.” Hero chided her, voice gentle. Why was Hero , of all people, defending him?
“I get why you’re angry.” Kel rubbed her shoulder with a similar gentleness. Aubrey… blushed.
Sunny felt like he should mind more, but he couldn’t say he crushed particularly hard on Aubrey these days.
“Ugh. Yeah, you’re right.” Aubrey rubbed her temples. “I’m sorry, just like… get explaining.”
Sunny took a deep breath. This was going to be a long one.
“...So, I decided to come to Faraway Town and got permission from my mother. She’ll be here before Christmas.” Sunny finished, keeping his hands folded neatly on his lap. The bulk of his explanation had boiled down to ‘shit sucked, I had panic attacks often, I missed you guys but I didn’t think I deserved you and thought you all hated me, and I’ve been getting a little better.’
During his whole speech, the others had steadily begun to avoid his gaze, staring at the floor. Sunny couldn’t say he minded that. At least he’d gotten all this off his chest.
“Well… um… I guess it’s our turn.” Kel rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m... uh... sorry to hear you’ve been struggling so much.”
Sunny figured it was good he had left out the worst bits: his strange, complicated feelings for Basil dumbed down to ‘I thought I would be helping him’, his hallucinations of Mari’s corpse, suicidal urges, and tried to make it seem like he suffered from panic attacks less than he did. There was no reason to drag his friends down further when he was just here to check up on how they were doing, because they clearly-
Well, no, they didn’t clearly hate him.
He let Kel continue.
“Uh… so, I don’t know if you heard, but Basil got sent to a psych ward.” Kel said.
Oh.
He didn’t deserve that. Although… maybe it helped.
“How has he been doing?” Sunny kept his voice steady.
Aubrey clenched her fist before looking Sunny straight in the eye; he fought the urge to flinch. “Well, he was in there for two months. When he came out, we all got together again and sort of rebuilt our friendship. Turns out Basil had been hurting himself for four years straight-” Sunny felt the sting of air on the edges of his eyes as they widened. “-and wanted to kill himself on your last day in Faraway.”
She leaned forward in her seat, eyes narrowing. “You knew that, though, didn’t you? You saved his life twice by the time you left, so why the hell did you think you’d be doing him a ‘favor’ by abandoning him? At least we’ve been doing our best back he-”
“Enough, Aubrey.” Hero raised a hand, turning to face Sunny, eyes clouded by worry. “It’s clear there’s something you’re not telling us. I don’t want to sound cruel, but what have we learned about lying?” Hero’s eyes flickered to the side for just a moment as he spoke his final sentence.
There’s something he’s not telling us, too. Save it for later.
“I…” Sunny looked at the ground, clasping his palms together. “F-fine. He scares me.”
“Ah.” Hero nodded his head in understanding. “I can see why you feel that way.”
Always the professional.
“We promise Basil has been getting better. He regrets what he did a lot!” Kel said earnestly, putting a heavy hand on Aubrey’s shoulder again.
“Yeah. He won’t try to… you know… ever again.” Aubrey placed a hand on Kel’s, but didn’t remove it. Her eyes looked a lot more tired than they had before- “Please, just give him another chance.” -and seemed to flick over Hero before meeting Sunny’s.
“I know it’s not right. He deserves to be forgiven, not feared, but…” Sunny would’ve liked to choose his words, but didn’t have the time or energy for it. “I don’t…” He sighed. “Have you forgiven him?”
“I can’t say I have.” Aubrey turned her head away shamefully. “But he is my friend. I want to forgive him, eventually.”
“Yeah.” Kel looked away again, eyes distant. “But, before you ask…”
Hm?
“...I forgive you, Sunny. I forgave you a long time ago.”
“...Same here.” Aubrey continued. “I’m worse than you, really. At least you never bullied someone for months over trivial bullshit and noticed how much they were suffering. More than I ever did.”
Sunny gripped his palms tighter against each other, not looking up.
…What?
This was wrong. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What were they saying?
“I…” Sunny began. He unfolded his hands in his lap and stared at them. In hindsight, he really should’ve expected this. ‘Smart one’ of the group, my ass; you’re an idiot. Kel wasn’t stupid, nor all that simple, but he was too kind-hearted to hold a long-standing grudge even against someone like Sunny.
Technically, there wasn’t any difference between what happened by the stairs and what happened by the lake, except for the fact that Aubrey wasn’t family to Basil. He hadn’t been… noticeably cruel to her, but also hadn’t spent his whole life caring for her.
Still, bullying Basil for months over a photo album, even if Sunny had been the one to mark it out, was an incredibly shitty thing to do. She might not have killed her sister, but she nearly killed Basil.
(Sunny felt like thinking about the lake incident shouldn’t make him as angry as it did.)
At least Basil had survived. Mari hadn’t. Sunny might’ve not been bullying her, but he had been failing Mari during the months leading up to the recital. Nonetheless, if he could forgive Aubrey for this, she could forgive him, even if he himself couldn’t do the same.
This still left the matter of Hero. Sunny wanted to believe that he would hate him forever for killing his girlfriend, but he was also all the man had left of Mari. Hero was too understanding, too mature to hold it against him, and had doubtlessly realized the hypocrisy that it would be to only forgive Aubrey and not him.
Well, he could only wait and see. It would probably be too awkward to ask, ‘Do you hate me for murdering your girlfriend?’ right now.
Sunny looked over his friends again, mouth still open. “Thank you.” He said quietly after a moment, taking in their sad but hopeful expressions.
“Your therapist is good, right?” Aubrey asked out of the blue, raising an eyebrow. Sunny nodded.
“Okay. Just… don’t leave again. I know our… reactions… at the hospital didn’t give that impression, but we’re really here for you. Promise.” Kel smiled at him; Hero and Aubrey did the same.
Sunny tried to figure out where to take things from here right as Basil stirred nearby, shifting under the blanket his friends had placed over him.
“Well, looks like it’s time for us to leave.” Hero slapped his knees and stood up, gesturing for Kel and Aubrey to follow.
“We’ll leave you and Basil to it,” Aubrey called over her shoulder, walking outside followed by Kel.
Hero stood by the door and watched Kel and Aubrey walk down the driveway before turning around to face Sunny. His expression seemed sorrowful, but determined.
Sunny gulped.
“Hey, Sunny…” Hero began. “I’m glad you’re back.”
Slow, steady voice.
“We really did miss you. All of us. And I want you to know that I forgive you – I did a long time ago.” Hero continued.
Sunny didn’t feel like it should surprise him, but it still sent a shock through his system to hear it.
“She loved you more than anything, Sunny.” Hero waved at Kel and Aubrey to wait for him, then slowly approached Sunny with a calm, gentle smile. He placed a soft grip on his shoulder. “It was an accident . Any sane person would know you should be forgiven, and of course Mari would want that for you.”
“Do you… really mean that?” Sunny looked up at Hero, fighting the urge to flinch away; he’d been a coward, let his friends suffer for years, and yet here his victim’s lover was forgiving him.
Now, neither Kel nor Aubrey had forgiven Basil, even though they seemed close with him again and even though he deserved it more than Sunny. It was wrong, but he couldn't do much about it right now. It was time to find out what Hero thought.
“Of course,” Hero responded, ruffling Sunny’s hair. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I could’ve tried harder to remember the truth. It’s my fault that you-”
“Don’t say that, Sunny. Nobody can blame you for being scared when you were twelve. That just wouldn’t be right.”
Got you.
“In that case… do you forgive Basil?” Sunny tensed up as he felt Hero’s grip tighten around his shoulder like a vice. His eyes widened, narrowed, and returned to normal within the span of half a second.
“...Yes. Of course.” Sunny remembered Hero just moments ago; he responded quicker than that, snappy and not sluggish.
“Okay. Once I have to go back to the city, be kind to Basil. He needs and deserves it.” Sunny replied, just to make sure. Hero’s behavior struck him as rather odd.
“Yeah, you’re right.” That time, Hero’s response was too quick. “I’ll see you around, Sunny!” He adjusted his collar and speed-walked out the door, joining Kel and Aubrey at the end of the driveway before Sunny could properly reply.
Have to deal with that later. Sunny tentatively closed the front door and turned around.
Basil was staring at him. Sitting up on the couch, blankets clutched tightly in his fists, eyes wide; an eerie reflection of how he’d looked in his hospital bed a few months ago. Sunny tried to say something, but, to his surprise, Basil spoke first.
“S-Sunny… are you… really here?”
Sunny slowly approached him. “...Yes.” Those baby blues looked just like they did on that night, so long ago, but they seemed to have more… life to them now.
Still the same eyes, though.
Again, Sunny wondered – should he hate Basil?
“What… why- how-” Basil went from quiet and wide-eyed, boring into Sunny’s soul, to avoiding his gaze and babbling.
No. He could never truly, entirely hate him. Not when seeing him this upset made him upset, like a vice being tightened around his heart.
Sunny took a seat at the end of the sofa, watching his old best friend. Basil had shrunk in on himself, crawling away from him like he had back at the hospital. He gently placed a hand on Basil’s, feeling the boy flinch, but Sunny refused to let go. “I’m… I’m back now.”
The touch felt… electric, but not as scary as he’d have thought it would be. Anticipatory, but still not necessarily scary .
“I-I don’t understand… why? ” Basil cried, still not looking Sunny in the eye. “Why now!? Why did you wait so long?”
“I’m sorry.” Sunny didn’t feel like just ‘sorry’ would cut it this time. “I was…” He tried to choose his words carefully, glancing away from Basil. How do you explain this to him? You left for months after abandoning him for years, because you were ‘afraid’ and ‘confused.’ If there’s a way to make this right, you’d better figure it out fast-
Sunny looked back at Basil, and Basil was returning his stare with those wide, scared eyes he’d seen so many times.
“...Do you hate me?” Basil’s voice was strained. It cracked halfway through his question, which barely sounded non-rhetorical. It was better than back when he ran off assumptions, at least.
“No.” Sunny replied. A firm, swift response, and one that he hoped was honest. “I just… I was confused. And scared.”
“Of me?” Basil’s reply was equally swift and firm. He drew the blanket closer to his chest, but didn’t take his two eyes away from Sunny’s one. “Our friends? Both? You know they would’ve never held this against you, r-right? They love you, Sunny-” He spoke quickly, sounding a little… angry.
“I know. Please…” He still didn’t have a good way of asking for forgiveness here. Should he even try? “I’m sorry, Basil. I don’t hate you or your friends.”
Basil’s brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. “They missed you, you know. A lot.”
“Yes. They told me.” Sunny realized his response probably came across as curt a moment too late – he opened his mouth to apologize, but Basil wasn’t deterred.
“Then why else would you-” Basil hissed, but caught himself and looked away, flushing. He’d made the connection: they had told Sunny – he hadn’t just known it the whole time. “O-oh… I-I’m sorry. I get it. I… felt the same way.”
Privately, Sunny wondered if Basil’s feelings in that regard were more justified. Kel and Hero had essentially ignored him for four years, Aubrey had bullied him, and Sunny had almost murdered him while trying to ‘save’ him. If he’d found himself in such a position, Sunny would’ve felt even more inclined to distrust his ‘friends.’
“That aside,” Sunny rubbed his fingers over Basil’s calloused hand. “I was…”
“Afraid of me.” Basil finished the sentence. His voice broke again. “I u-understand. A-and it’s… it’s alright if you hate me. I hate me a little too, you know… haha…” He bit his lip, pausing before starting again. “I-I’m sorry-”
Sunny folded both hands over Basil’s, feeling him try to pull away again. “ Please , Basil, you’re the best person I know. You don’t deserve this.”
Basil shut his watery eyes tight for a moment, then reopened them. He tried to change the subject. “...I-if you are afraid of me, then why are you in my… in my house? ” Basil’s eyebrows raised as he realized where he was, looking around.
“I do not hate you.” Sunny said, cupping his cheek and meeting his eyes. The boy seemed to flush just a little more than before. “And I don’t want to fear you.” He looked away, feeling a tinge of guilt run through him. “I want to be your friend again.”
Basil’s breathing accelerated again. “Y-you mean it?” His eyes were wide and looked to be on the verge of shedding tears.
“I know I haven’t been a good friend, and haven’t shown it, but I care about you. I mean it this time: I promise.”
Sunny didn’t have to ask Basil to look at him this time. His eyes stayed fixed on Sunny’s face. “...I’ll… alright, I believe you. I’ll try to believe you.” Sunny’s heart felt a bit lighter at that. “But earlier, I heard you say ‘ my friends.’”
“I want to get close to them again, too.” He reassured Basil, who untensed slightly.
“O-okay. I’m glad….”
Their conversation drew to a lull as the two looked away from each other again. “...Will you leave again?” Basil asked out of the blue, beginning to intertwine his fingers with Sunny’s but stopping partway through and drawing back.
“I have to, eventually, but I’ll come back. I’ll prove it.” Sunny assured him.
“Promise?” Basil looked him in the eye again. He smiled – it was slight and fragile, but it was there.
“Promise.” Sunny took his hands off Basil’s and wrapped them around the boy’s back, pulling him in for a hug. His eyes widened with surprise, but he leaned into it after a moment, returning the hug.
At least Basil was as warm and soft as Sunny remembered (enough to make him feel warm, even). That was something he hoped wouldn’t change anytime soon – it was a much more pleasant fixture than Basil constantly looking terrified, although Sunny had to make do with both.
“P-please… please stay with us a little longer.” Basil sniffled into his shoulder.
Sunny felt his heart ache. He tightened his grip on Basil, breathing in his scent and burying his face in the crook of Basil’s neck. What a simple and common activity between friends, Sunny thought to himself. Then again, it had been four years since he’d had real friends, so who knew at this point?
Notes:
i'm tired
like, 1.6k-ish words in on ch15, but school has been hell lately and it might get even worse. 15 could end up being very late
is it too brutal for none of the friends to forgive basil, did them forgiving sunny feel like it was rushed? how is the writing on sunny? i wanted him to be analytical, kinda deadpan but prone to anxiety, concise but talking like a normal dude. did i get that across or nah
i feel like this chapter's kinda shit compared to the last 2 but idk at this point. was it good?
Chapter 15: Fanning the Smoke
Summary:
The gang gets back together.
Notes:
*checks watch* hmmmmmmm 28 days since updating i think that's equivalent to 2 weeks
thanks for 50 bookmarks/300 kudos btw
beta'd by UdonPuddle; CWs at bottom
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunny twiddled his thumbs, looking at Basil nervously. They sat next to each other on the sofa, having pulled apart a few minutes prior. The silence that filled the room was taut—a fraying rope about to snap. Quiet had been so easy, so much more comfortable four years ago.
Basil looked up at him, having noticed the unconscious communication. His eyelids drooped and he looked paler than he had earlier today, even with the afternoon sun beginning to peek through the clouds and flowing over his skin.
“...I need somewhere to stay,” Sunny said quickly, looking away as soon as he finished.
“Hero and Kel could take you,” Basil responded, equally quickly. Sunny felt his heart leap into his throat and mind begin to race with explanations for why- “I-I mean... if you don't want to stay with me.”
“I was going to ask that.” Sunny let out a small sigh of relief, glancing up again at Basil's face: also wide-eyed, also looking away, down at shaky clasped hands.
“You really...?” Basil only looked at Sunny again after a moment, as though he'd had to process what he just heard.
“Yes.”
“O-of course!” Basil smiled gently and hugged his arms around himself. It was nice to see his eyes crinkle again, even if it was just a tiny bit. Sunny noticed him tapping a foot against the floor quietly—still anxious, unsurprisingly.
Hmm… 'everything is going to be okay' wouldn't cut it, especially when Sunny himself couldn't say he quite believed it. “You won't ruin anything, Basil. I won't leave again.” Sunny tilted his head at his once-best friend. It was a little cruel, but he was honestly shocked Basil had made it this far without suffering a panic attack.
“I…” Basil glanced away, eyebrows raised. He clearly hadn't expected to be read that easily. “...Thank you.”
Basil stood up, giving Sunny another small smile. “I'll start preparing something for dinner, then.”
“You... learned how to cook?” Sunny raised an eyebrow, surprised.
“Yeah.” Basil caught himself before he said, 'it's been a while, after all.' “I... uh... just felt like picking it up. It's fun—you should try it some time!”
“...Alright. But only if it's with you,” Sunny added. Basil spun on his heel and speed-walked to the kitchen to hide the warmth growing in his cheeks.
As Basil began to pull out pots and pans, filling the kitchen with metallic clanging with Sunny's eyes on his back all the while, he felt the swirling mess that was supposed to be his head begin to orient itself.
Sunny. Sunny was back , back, and they had just spent—what, half an hour?—talking to each other, in which he had promised that he didn't hate Basil.
Sunny wouldn't lie. He wouldn’t, right? Not again, not even if it was to someone like himself.
But God, Basil had just started to move on from Sunny when he showed up again, asking to be friends again. Best friends. He started heating the stove and began filling a pot with water—what if he and Sunny really did grow close again? Friends, best friends... something more?
Basil turned off the water right before it overflowed, catching himself just in time.
If he has feelings for me-
No, he stopped himself. I shouldn't be thinking of things like that. Don't be too negative, but also don't be optimistic. Especially not in a situation like this.
If Basil got close again, though—closer than before, even—could he trust himself to be able to let go, if need be? What if he got too close and ended up hurting Sunny because of it?
“Basil, are you here? I heard-” Polly's voice was cut off as she fully opened the door to find her ward preparing dinner, the boy whose eye he'd stabbed out sitting on the sofa and watching Basil unblinkingly.
“Ah! Hi, Polly, I was just making dinner. If it isn't any trouble, I'd appreciate some help.” Basil turned to face her, waving shyly. “O-oh. I'm sorry, I... uh... forgot to mention it, but Sunny is here.”
“Yes, I am.” Sunny 'waved' at Polly (he was just raising his palm vertically).
“...I can tell.”
After dinner and somehow getting a visibly worried Polly to agree to Sunny staying in their home, Basil closed the door to his bedroom and slid down it, sighing. He'd never much had the energy for social situations unless they were with Sunny, but even with him, it felt like there was a specter hanging over them. He buried his face in his palms, suppressing a yawn—Sunny himself would be sleeping in Basil's grandmother's old bedroom. A twinge of disappointment struck Basil even though he knew this would be better.
Sunny feared him, after all, and Basil couldn't at all blame him.
What a mess.
Basil's heart ached against his ribcage as he prepared his blankets. Back then, Sunny had trusted him so much, saved him—multiple times—after spending four years inside, and Basil repaid his kindness and trust by violating it—multiple times.
What a mess.
Basil noticed his phone laying on his desk and walked over to it, flipping on the light switch as he went (what kind of weirdo prepared their bed in the dark?), turning on an array of fairy lights he'd set up a few weeks ago. The room was bathed in a warm yellow light, easing Basil's worries just a little and chasing away the shadows. He tugged his curtains closed, hiding the moon and night sky behind them, then flipped open his phone to see if he'd missed anything from the afternoon. He ignored the sounds of Polly and Sunny preparing for the night behind him.
aubi: yo, bagel
Oh god, not this again…
aubi: kel and i were wondering if we could get the gang tomorrow together
aubi: now that sunnys back and everything. i think it would be good to test the waters and try to make sure there really arent any hard feelings
aubi: you know how it is
Basil smiled a little, recalling the last time they'd all hung out together, right before the recital; back then, Mari had been with them during one of the rare times she and Sunny weren't cooped up in their house practicing. It was nice to see his best friend again.
Temporarily caught up in his reminiscence, Basil jumped when he heard the door creak open.
“Pretty in here,” Sunny commented, slowly peeking out from behind the door as he opened it.
“Oh! H-hi, Sunny.” Basil turned around, setting down his phone. “What’s up?”
“Can I sleep in your room?”
Basil froze. He probably should’ve expected that—Sunny had always had trouble sleeping alone. “...Uh… sure. I’ll let Polly know.” Sunny visibly untensed a little at that, as did Basil.
As he and Sunny walked past each other, he stopped in his tracks. “Ah… I almost forgot. Aubrey wants all of us to meet up at the lake tomorrow. Is that okay?”
Sunny was looking towards Basil, but not really at him. Basil could practically see the gears turning behind his tired eye. “...Okay.”
Basil stayed there for a moment longer, even as Sunny turned around to survey the room where he’d lost an eye. It was rare these days for even Basil himself to fall asleep in his room, because he still got nightmares on occasion. He’d flop onto the bed sometimes for a nap or after an exhausting day, but usually he fell asleep in Polly’s arms on the couch and had to be carried to bed. It was rather embarrassing, but it worked.
From the bags under Sunny’s eyes—in strong contrast to the infinite energy he seemed to have a few months ago—Basil thought he wouldn’t even need companionship in order to fall asleep. Not that he would deny Sunny it, of course.
Once Polly had set up a bed on the other side of the room for Sunny, he immediately flopped onto the bed, and Basil could tell he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Back in the hospital, he said he’d dreamt four years away, so having a normal sleep schedule must’ve been hard for him.
Even as the minutes passed, though, Basil just kept sitting in his bed, eyes on Sunny as though he’d disappear if he looked away. He hugged his pillow tightly to his chest and uncertainty prodded each corner of his mind.
So, Sunny was back, and sleeping in the same room as him. He looked downright peaceful, eyelids heavy and blankets wrapped around him like a cocoon. It was how he’d slept even since they were young.
Part of Basil would very much like to be in that bed, but a different part of him would very much like to be anywhere except that bed or this room.
All parts of Basil regretted how quickly Sunny had fallen asleep. There was still so, so much to talk about.
At some point in the night, Basil fell asleep and awoke at least somewhat well-rested. By some miracle, his dreams weren’t plagued by nightmares, but were actually rather pleasant. He decided to keep these ones private—the rest of the world didn’t need to know about how he’d dreamt of Sunny holding him close, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, telling him he was here to stay-
Basil figured he should probably stop thinking about that, or one of his friends would ask him why he was blushing so hard.
They had ended up gathering at the lake, a late morning sun beating down on their backs with surprising ferocity for the season. Basil and Sunny had a quiet breakfast with Polly, Sunny not truly caring to initiate conversation and Basil just not wanting to. And with the regular buzzing of waterside insects going quiet due to winter, it was unusually silent here, too.
“So… how is everyone doing?” Aubrey surveyed the group, all seated around the picnic blanket and avoiding each other’s gazes. When he focused, Sunny could see a small droplet of sweat running down her temple. She was probably regretting this already.
“I’m- uh, I’m doing alright.” Basil folded his hands in his lap, trying and failing to discreetly glance at Sunny. Nice to see him responding first.
Sunny nodded as if to say, ‘same over here,’ and turned to face Kel and Hero.
“Yeah, it’s been going fine.” Hero rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “...This is… a little awkward, isn’t-”
Fortunately for everyone, Kel came to the rescue. “Oh, you guys would not be-lieve what kind of night I had last night! It happened last night, where I saw a platypus outside the wind- ow! ” His animated speech was interrupted when Aubrey flicked him on the ear.
“Alright, it sounds like you’ve been yourself.” She rolled her eyes, but they lacked the glint they usually did in situations like these.
And the group returned to silence.
“...Uh, I think Hero had a point. What exactly are we supposed to talk about?” Basil shyly raised a finger. Sunny thought he caught Hero’s eyes narrowing when the boy said his name.
“Well, um…” Aubrey scratched the back of her head.
“How about… ‘what are the economic policies that led to Botswana’s success relative to its neighboring nations?’” Kel said slowly, reading off a crumpled-up paper in his pocket.
“We’re not doing your geography homework for you, Kel.” Aubrey rolled her eyes again.
You thought it was a pretty cool topic, actually. Oh well.
Silence again.
An easy, safe discussion. Everything that could relate to the incident is off-limits, of course. How about…
Sunny went down a mental list, checking off boxes.
School? That should work.
He looked around the hideout, finding that nobody was meeting each other’s gazes, let alone his. Surely it wasn’t usually like this, considering how easy they seemed with each other yesterday.
What if they don’t want to hear from you?
…
In the distance, a police helicopter conducted a search. Someone was mowing their lawn, filling the air with harsh buzzing. The waterside insects suddenly came out of their slumber to begin chirping.
Actually, having to endure this is worse than whatever would happen if I spoke up, Sunny decided after a moment of thought.
“How’s school?” He asked. Everyone turned to stare at him, heads eerily moving at the same time.
“...What?” Aubrey raised an eyebrow.
“How has your schooling been going, Aubrey.” Sunny didn’t phrase it like a question this time.
“Um… fine, I guess? I got suspended for the last week before Winter Break for beating the shit out of a kid who was being mean to Angel, so that freed up my schedule a lot.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember that!” Kel piped up.
“Aubrey, I thought you agreed not to get in trouble,” Hero crossed his arms sternly. “Although… I don’t like it, but I’d have done the same. Somebody hurting someone I love is crossing a line.”
Basil shrunk away from him, just a little. It was a movement only Sunny would notice; and, unobservant as he was, he still noticed the tiny flick of Hero’s cold eyes to Basil.
“And, speaking of your performance at school,” Aubrey exaggerated her voice mockingly at Kel, not seeming to notice that his brow had furrowed and he was looking over her shoulder at Basil and Hero. “It hasn’t been so great, either. Remember the time you splashed the school security guard with Orange Joe and he almost tased you?”
“That was racially motivated!” Kel exclaimed jokingly, waving her off.
Taking Hero’s overall behavior into account, it was obvious there were still some lingering issues between him and Basil. The fear Basil showed around Hero, something he didn’t with any of their other friends, and the visible disgust Hero displayed around Basil, which he never directed at Sunny.
After all, it hadn’t really been Mari’s death that ruined Hero’s life, but her ‘suicide.’ The fact that he had ‘missed the signs.’ And unlike Sunny, Basil wasn’t at all related to Hero’s girlfriend. A few months was enough time for Hero to come to terms with what Sunny had done; what Basil had done was a different matter entirely.
It didn’t take even a moment to decide: Sunny shouldn’t let Basil shoulder that weight on his own like he had for… more than four years now.
…Shit.
Time to clean up the mess you made—better late than never, right?
“Well… um… my grades have been pretty good, I guess.” Basil ducked away shyly as Kel and Aubrey turned to him. Sunny had zoned out again—even when he wasn’t tired, this was a running theme in his life.
“Pretty good? Basil, my man, my dude, you’ve got straight A’s! Which is a little ironic, considering what you revealed at that party,” Kel laughed, clapping a furiously blushing Basil on the shoulder.
Party?
Sunny cocked his head at Basil, nonverbally asking for an explanation.
“Ah… y-yeah, there was this… um… party.” Basil avoided Sunny’s gaze. It was a miracle he kept the truth of Mari’s death a secret for so long, considering what a terrible liar he was.
“I am aware.” Sunny raised an eyebrow. “What happened at the party?”
“To the surprise of nobody , our best bud over here is gay.” Kel snaked an arm around Basil’s shoulder and pulled him in, ruffling his hair while Hero and Aubrey looked on with bemusement. Basil whined softly, trying (in vain) to escape Kel.
“I don’t even remember Basil saying anything about his sexuality at the party.” Aubrey ran her hands through her hair, racking her brain. “Also, ‘to the surprise of nobody?’ Isn’t that stereotyping?”
“Not my fault you’ve got a faulty gaydar.” Kel rolled his eyes and Hero pinched the bridge of his nose, waiting for a good time to step in.
“Alright, guys-” He began, but his younger brother cut him off.
“Wait, you’re not homophobic, right?” Kel unsubtly whispered to Sunny, raising an eyebrow at him.
“I’ve got bad news for you if you are.” Aubrey cracked her knuckles with even less subtlety.
“I’m not.” Sunny said quickly, raising his hands in a peacemaking gesture. The threat could just be for Basil’s sake. From the way she’s stared at Kim, though (the longest Sunny had seen was nineteen seconds straight on the final day in Faraway) , I wouldn’t be surprised if she was gay, too. Well, bi or pan, from her interactions with Kel.
By the time Sunny returned to the land of the living, the conversation had moved on without him, back to school—everyone seemed satisfied with his answer, and Basil had let out a soft sigh of relief, cheeks flushed and knees hugged tightly against his chest, as though he were afraid they’d fall off if he let them go.
Basil’s small gesture made something else inside Sunny begin to stir, although it felt like it had been there for a long time.
…Choosing to ignore that train of thought, he took notice of Hero lecturing Aubrey, Basil and Kel about the dangers of alcohol and rampant homophobia within Faraway Town and the state at large. It was a speech they’d all seemingly heard about before.
This felt like it was also starting to turn into a running theme.
Nobody to blame for that but yourself.
…As was that.
The hours passed, and the sun began to sink in the sky. Conversation was still horrifically stilted, seeming to pass between Sunny and the rest of the group. He hoped that would change with time, because he intended to spend as much time with them as he could.
Not once in those hours did they talk about anything truly of note. Sunny hadn’t expected them to.
That didn’t mean there wasn’t some part of him which hoped they would: marveling at how this looked so similar to the golden age, just one piece short of being complete, and yet it still felt like the whole box was missing.
But when Sunny closed his eyes, just for a moment, he could almost feel the sun on his skin again. He could almost see Aubrey chasing Kel around the treeline, Basil showing Hero his photos, and Mari beckoning for him to sit by her side.
When Sunny opened his eyes, he remembered that it was winter.
Once the sky began to turn orange, Hero finally called it a day and told everyone to pack up and head home. Basil’s shoulders noticeably relaxed at this.
Sunny tapped him on one of said shoulders.
“H-huh?” Basil whipped around to face Sunny, looking like a deer in headlights. Unoriginal simile. Sunny caught himself before he zoned out.
“Could you go ahead? I’d like to speak with Aubrey a little.”
Basil took just one moment too long to respond compared to the other conversations Sunny had had with him thus far. “...Yeah.” Too curt, too confident for him. At least he was holding his gaze. Before Sunny could inquire further, Basil had rushed off after Kel and Hero.
Have to deal with… whatever that was later.
“Aubrey,” Sunny spoke up. She was packing up the picnic blanket, which she’d brought herself.
“What’s up?” She asked lazily, turning to face him.
“Can I talk to you?”
“You’re doing it right now, but sure.” Walked right into that one. Sunny cursed his tiredness.
Instead of replying, Sunny began to walk off, gesturing with a finger for Aubrey to follow him. They began to make their way along the sidewalk, bound for the Greater Faraway river.
After an awkward bout of silence (too familiar now), she asked, “So, uh… what did you want to talk about?”
“Hero. He’s shown consistent signs of resentment towards Basil, like-”
“Yeah,” Aubrey cut him off, sighing. “Not very hard to notice, is it?”
“No, not really…” Sunny replied. “How long?”
“It’s been going on for a while now. Ever since Hero returned, he just seemed to be acting off around Basil. Too curt, too sharp, too… mean, I guess.” Aubrey shrugged. “Kel and I have been trying to figure out a solution, but Hero gets touchy if we so much as bring Basil up—even in casual conversation.”
“Has Basil tried to talk to him?”
“Yeah. Multiple times, actually. Succeeded once, but Hero gave him a panic attack. Kel and I figured we’d better handle this one ourselves after that.”
Sunny looked ahead, deep in thought. The leafless trees hooked into each other like spiderwebs, blotting out the clouds but leaving room for snow to cover the upcoming path. “...I’d like to help. This isn’t fair.”
“You’d be more than welcome to.” Aubrey shrugged again. “You’ve always been smarter than Kel and I, anyway.”
“‘Kel and me,’” Sunny corrected.
“Go fuck yourself.”
Sunny had to admit that that almost got a small smile out of him. It was still hard, getting used to just how much Aubrey had changed. A lot had changed, really.
Except for thi- nope, nevermind, Greater Faraway’s grown. Is that a Hobbeez? Didn’t even know that was a chain…
Sunny took a deep breath, immediately coughing as he caught a whiff of polluted river air. The sun was setting behind the tall concrete buildings of Greater Faraway, just across the river, already lighting up in preparation for the night. Dirty as it was, the river still reflected the cream-colored sky.
Aubrey made her way over to the railing and leaned against it. Her hair flew in the biting wind, and her teal contacts stood out against her shadowed face, nose stung by the cold air.
So, has this changed?
Without a word, Sunny walked up to the railing beside her, watching birds circle overhead as the sun began to set. He glanced at her face again. There was no doubt about it: she was pretty, very much so. Her hair framed her eyes, she had excellent skin, and her drip was extensive.
He could see why Kel liked her. But why would you like her? Asked the annoying, on-the-nose voice in his head.
“Speaking of you and Kel—has something been going on?”
“W-wha- I-I mean, I don’t know what you mean-”
Well… Aubrey was cute, sure. Everyone acknowledged that, even the supposedly gay Basil. But Sunny knew you didn’t fall in love with someone because they were pretty or cute. Not like in the movies. What else was there, then?
When they were younger, Aubrey was sweet. Kind and gentle towards everyone, but especially towards her friends, and always lending out a helping hand if she could. Not caring if she was seen as too boyish or, conversely, too girly. She was just whoever she wanted to be—a bit like Basil in that regard.
“Thought so.”
Deep down, Aubrey and that girl were still one in the same. But that was just it—deep down. She’d still changed a lot. Gone was that sweetness and love towards the world. All that remained of her old personality—on a surface level, at least—was that brash touch. A touch Sunny had never particularly fancied.
Those blue eyes were very pretty, though.
In spite of that, Sunny couldn’t say he particularly minded Aubrey not reciprocating his crush. It’d been an old thing, anyways, frozen in time alongside the rest of his childhood.
“Uh… Sunny?” Aubrey’s intense blush had faded, and her eyebrows were now raised. “Are you alright?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
“Nice to see that you zoning out constantly hasn’t changed,” Aubrey laughed, looking out at the river again for a moment before turning back to him. “Why’d you wanna know, anyway? Got a thing for Kel?” She smirked.
Obviously not. He isn’t your type.
Part of Sunny wanted to say he was just curious, but he didn’t like lying all that much.
…Sunny’s lips froze as his brain told them to move. Get it over with. Just answer her question. You owe her that much, anyway, after killing her big sister.
“When I was younger, I had a crush on you,” Sunny blurted out, shutting his eye like a child confessing to breaking the rules.
Silence.
Tentatively, Sunny opened his eye (he’d have opened them one at a time if he still had two). Aubrey was looking away, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “Oh… uh, yeah, sorry, Sunny. Not really any easy way to say this, but I don’t feel the same way.”
“It’s alright. I don’t like you anymore.” Sunny shrugged, glad the worst of it was over. “I mean-” He did a double take.
“Well damn, alright,” Aubrey chuckled. “Don’t sweat it, I got what you mean.” She leaned over the railing and tossed a small pebble, skipping it across the water a few times before it sank.
“So, you and Kel are a thing?” Sunny cocked his head, watching her.
“N-no… not yet.” Aubrey looked away from him, the furious blush returning. She rested her chin on her palm. “...I don’t really know how to approach him on this sort of thing. I’ve never really done this before”
Neither have you, he thought wryly.
“...Like, what if he rejects me? I know it’s silly; he said himself he was interested, but he might not want a relationship right now, or he’s changed his mind, and then it’d be awkward-”
“Only for you,” Sunny replied. “Remember how quickly he moves past things? Bullying Basil, the lake incident, the other lake incident, the…” He hasn’t entirely moved past The Incident, but that’s a far cry from teenage romance. “You get the picture.”
Aubrey winced lightly. “Yeah, you’ve got a point,” she followed up quickly, keeping the conversation moving. “I think I’ll try and make a move soon, before anyone else can.”
Sunny hummed in agreement and returned his attention to the setting sun. In the corner of his vision, he saw Aubrey twiddling with her thumbs. No two members of their group, to his knowledge, had the shared quiet he did with Basil. This was probably awkward for her; unfortunately, he’d already brought up school. What else did he have in the way of safe topics…
“So… about yesterday,” Aubrey began tentatively. “I don’t do this often, but I wanted to properly apologize.”
Well, it’s not safe, but it certainly is a topic, Sunny thought to himself, knuckles whitening as he gripped the railing tighter. Not enough for Aubrey to notice, hopefully. He gave a slight nod to show he was listening.
“It was all just kind of a shock. And you know how I handle shock…” she rubbed the back of her neck and looked away again.
“I understand,” Sunny replied. Frankly, this conversation was already worse than being insulted by her yesterday.
“I did mean it when I said I forgave you,” Aubrey continued. “I’d be a hypocrite not to, and you forgave me for what I did to Basil—plus, me just being a jerk all-around—so I should return the favor.”
Great, she’s going all in. Sunny sighed internally. “I don’t think that’s how forgiveness works. It’s not really about that, anyways; I didn’t explicitly forgive you, did I? But I did move on from it, and they’re indistinguishable from an outside perspective, assuming you really forgave someone—which is not at all what’s going on with Hero and Basil. Redemption isn’t measured on a bar, where one moment you’re not redeemed and the next you are.”
Aubrey blinked. “...Yeah, fair.”
Sunny couldn’t deny some part of him felt a little lighter, though…
…nor could he claim that he’d had any idea where he was going when he began that speech.
Notes:
there is still half a finished bladesil chapter in my docs lmao idk when i'm gonna finish that one
also there are no cws
anyway, i got no idea wtf i'm doing anymore. this chapter was boring to write; next one should have more interesting subject matter so hopefully i'll be able to get it done quicker. expect slower updates from now on, though. life's getting in the way
did htis chapter feel necessary, were the dialogue, interactions, and character writing good? etc etc
Chapter 16: Daisy and Hyacinth
Summary:
Seeds are planted.
Notes:
i'm on time, right (i have an MSRB chapter which i'll post soon and two faf chapters which i just need to edit a little)
beta read by spooky, SubwayBossEmmett, and UdonPuddle. content warnings at the bottom
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunny locked the door behind him, then sighed and slid down the wall. The sun had set by the time he finished his conversation with Aubrey, and the lights were still on in Basil’s house. Either he or Polly were up.
Sunny got to his feet after a few moments. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy spending time with Aubrey. He wasn’t even an introvert, but it got more than a little draining to spend all day walking and talking.
He looked towards the kitchen, hoping to grab something to eat before heading to bed, and realized Basil had been staring at him from behind the island for the last minute. He had pulled up a chair and was holding a mug in his hands.
You must’ve been worrying him.
“Uh… hi?” Basil said tentatively, phrasing it more like a question than a greeting. “I… uh…”
“Why are you still up?” Sunny cocked his head at his friend.
“S-sorry, I was worried about you. A-and you don’t have a phone or anything…” Basil set the mug down, avoiding Sunny’s gaze.
“We live in the middle of nowhere. I’m not getting kidnapped, and I’m definitely not running away.” Sunny walked over to Basil, sitting down next to him.
“Yeah… sorry.” Basil apologized again and hugged his arms around himself, finally meeting Sunny’s eye. “...I-if it’s not too much for me to ask, could you tell me what you and Aubrey talked about?”
Why would it be too much for him to ask? Sunny wondered. Although, it did seem consistent with how antsy Basil had been around him thus far. And you can’t tell him everything you talked to her about; he’d be too uncomfortable at the thought of having to confront Hero again.
…But there is a difference between not telling the whole truth and telling a lie.
“I spoke to her about Kel, and told her about that crush I had on her when I was younger.”
Basil’s eyes immediately glazed over, and his fingers dug into his sides. It took a full three seconds for him to respond, “...O-oh. D-did she… reciprocate?”
“No, not that it matters,” Sunny replied. Basil… sure was acting strange, wasn’t he?
It was probably nothing.
“I think I stopped really loving her while I was locked inside. Loving her romantically, that is,” Sunny added.
“Ah… I… uh… I see.” Basil’s grip around himself seemed to tighten at that, and he avoided Sunny’s gaze again. Odd. No time to think about that right now.
“On the topic of phones, I’d like to ask you out for tomorrow—to the mall. I still need something to call and text you guys on.”
This time, the silence was four seconds long.
“...Who else is coming?” Basil asked, each word slow and methodical, like English was a foreign language to him. Technically it was, considering he’d first learned and then unlearned Austrian German when he was youn-
Sunny caught himself.
“Nobody, preferably,” he replied. “We haven’t really hung out together on our own yet.” Are you sure he’ll want to go with you? You probably bring up a lot of bad memories for him. It wouldn’t be fair to expect him to put all of tha-
“I… o-of course! I’d love to, if that’s what you want.” Basil clasped his hands against his chest, a small smile now on his face and eyes bright.
“Oh. Cool,” Sunny replied. “Good night, then.” And with that, he left for the bedroom.
Basil blinked at his reflection in the car window, bleary-eyed. He’d had trouble sleeping last night—thoughts like, why the hell did you wait for him? Nothing bad was going to happen; did you plan on hanging his corpse if he got shanked, you moron? and, oh god, oh fuck, he’s not into Aubrey anymore and she’s not into him- had crowded his mind as he lay in bed.
Now he sat next to Sunny in the back of Polly’s car, watching trees and streetlamps whizz by under the cloudless midday sky. His old best friend was on Basil’s right; this made it hard to see out the window, but he’d been glancing between the back of his seat and the side of Basil’s face for the entire drive. Having Sunny’s full attention on him—again—made his stomach flutter with… something.
Neither had said a word for the past twenty minutes.
Was Sunny just keeping an eye on Basil because he feared him? Did he not have anything better to look at? Did he just not know what to say?
Basil tugged at his collar, trying to keep the emotions out of his face, something that’d gotten harder and harder over the past few years. The sun was peeking in through the window, making it both hard to see and hard not to stare back at Sunny. It glanced off his black hair, turning it into a beautiful shade of chestnut brown.
“So, you boys are going to buy Sunny a phone?” Polly asked awkwardly, trying to start a conversation. She’d already seemed hesitant to leave the two of them alone, even in a crowded place, and this probably wasn’t assuaging her fears.
“Yeah,” Basil replied, looking away from the window and at Sunny’s eyes- eye .
“It’s awkward when everyone else has one and I don’t.” Sunny met Basil’s gaze. Is he implying something about having a full set of eyes? Does he secretly hate you? What if he’s just waiting for you to get to a high area in the mall so he can-
Get a grip. You’ve been doing so well—don’t let this trip you up. He doesn’t hate you—he said it himself.
“Ha, I can imagine. Don’t worry about it too much, though. As you get older, you’ll come to realize keeping up with what’s ‘groovy’ doesn’t matter that much,” Polly laughed.
Please never say ‘groovy’ again… Basil thought to himself, mind temporarily taken off his worries.
“It’s not that. I want to be able to text Basil so he doesn’t worry about me,” Sunny responded.
God, that sentence really makes me sound pathetic. Not that it’s inaccurate. Or, Basil tried to tone down the self-loathing, that inaccurate.
“Oh, really? That’s sweet of both of you,” Polly replied, a slightly relieved smile on her face. At least this time, the boys under her care didn’t want to stab each other (to Basil’s knowledge).
Not that we wanted to do that last time, Basil thought wryly to himself.
Sunny nodded in thanks and leaned his head against the window, still turning his eye to meet both of Basil’s.
It would be weird if you looked away now, he thought to himself.
So Basil held Sunny’s gaze, barely blinking.
…
For twenty seconds straight.
This is unbearable. Come on, don’t just sit there; do something.
“...D-did you sleep well?” Basil asked tentatively.
“Yes. It’s hard getting used to a regular sleep schedule after four years of dreaming and half-wakefulness.”
“Ah. Is that what you were doing during those years? I-if you don’t mind me asking,” he added quickly.
“Yeah. Repressing memories is tiring work.” Sunny glanced at Polly, who was clearly not one hundred percent focused on the road. “Anyways, how did you sleep?”
“Uh…” Basil looked at his reflection in the window again, spotting subtle, but noticeable bags under his eyes. Even if he did want to lie—which he’d rather not—he couldn’t. “Not well. I was just nervous about being with you. Not because I don’t like you, I just-”
“I understand.” Sunny lifted one knee to his chin. “I’d be nervous around me, too.”
Basil understood that, too. He broke away from Sunny’s gaze and looked ahead, watching the forests of outer Faraway turn into the small shops and apartment blocks that told him they were approaching Greater Faraway.
He and Sunny sat in a slightly more comfortable silence for the next few minutes, keenly aware of Polly’s eyes on them. Their discussion may have been rather depressing, but part of Basil felt lighter. Each still spoke their silent language from four years ago, sharing nervous tics and cues, even if the thing they were speaking about was shared trauma.
Maybe, in time, their conversations could become less stilted, they could comfortably look into each other’s eye(s), and they could rebuild what they once had.
Maybe.
“Well, boys, you have fun. Remember: I’ll come pick you up at three P.M., and text you if I’m held up in traffic. Got it, Basil?” Polly halted the car outside a large off-white building just outside the main urban center of Greater Faraway, dotted with windows and establishment names. Plants lined the sidewalk in front of it and a large sign above its front entrance read ‘Faraway Mall’.
“Okay. Thanks, mo- P-Polly, I meant Polly!” Basil hurried to get out of the car and quickly shut the door behind him. He walked up to the entrance without looking at his caretaker, who was giggling into her palm.
“Alright, both of you stay safe.” Polly turned in her seat to watch Sunny get out of the car, her brow still furrowed slightly.
Waving goodbye as she sped off, Sunny walked up to a red-faced Basil. Both knew full well it wasn’t from the cold. “Do we want to go for the phone first, or do that last?” Sunny asked the boy, nudging him with an elbow.
Basil looked up at the mall, embarrassment forgotten as he considered the options. It was noon, and there were hundreds of people crowding around the mezzanines and floors, all decked out with fake garlands and wreaths in celebration of Christmas with a massive tree set up in the center. It’d be a pain to get to a place as busy as the tech store right now. “I’d like to head to the florist first, if that’s okay with you.”
“Makes sense.” Sunny nodded; his eyebrows raised slightly, probably surprised Basil had actually made a decision. “It’s probably crowded in the tech store right now, anyway.”
“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” Basil laughed lightly, pushing his way through the revolving door and into the main floor of the mall. “The last time I was here, the florist’s shop was practically deserted. It’s a shame, really. The store’s so nice.”
Sunny hummed in agreement, following Basil up the escalator. "I saw that you've been taking good care of your plants. Or does Polly do it for you?"
"No. Polly took care of them while I was… uh… in the psych ward.” Basil awkwardly made his way through the crowd—it wasn’t large, not enough for him to suffocate, but there were still a fair few people around. Enough that he and Sunny could lose each other.
With his own slightly shaking, Basil brushed against Sunny’s hand—a silent invitation. He glanced over his shoulder at his old friend, who took Basil’s hand in his own without hesitation or words.
“The others told me about that while you were unconscious,” Sunny continued.
“I… see,” Basil said slowly. “Did you talk about anything else while I was out? Or was it just catching up?”
“The latter.” Sunny brushed his thumb over Basil’s knuckle, and he struggled to keep the heat out of his face. It was a little astonishing how he’d longed for so many years to have this kind of contact again, and now he just… had it.
Basil let the silence linger for a moment, unsure of how to continue the conversation. The florist’s shop came to his rescue, emerging between the crowds up ahead. “...Looks like we’re here.”
The shop itself was like most others, nestled in between its neighbors with a glass storefront, but it had a clearly personal touch to it. Industrial shelves overflowed with multicolored plants, like a rainbow in a concrete sky, and the owner sat behind the counter with a magazine in one hand and a mug in the other. Basil and Sunny made their way in and he looked up after hearing the bell chime.
“Howdy, y’all, what can I do you for?” He asked, setting the mug down and taking his feet off the counter. A faint metal cover of ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ played in the background.
“I was wondering where you kept your purple hyacinth seeds?” Basil asked. Sunny released his hand and began to walk around the store. Basil felt a little colder.
“Aisle on the far left, facing the outside.” The owner pointed at it. “Middle shelf. Can’t miss it, buster.”
“Thank you!” Basil gave the man a small smile and made his way over to the shelf, hearing Sunny approach the counter. He turned over a pack of hyacinth seeds, checking what type they were, and overheard Sunny’s conversation with the owner.
“Do you have daisy seeds?”
“‘Course, buster. Doing something special for your girlfriend over there?”
Basil almost dropped the pack of seeds, feeling heat immediately rush to his face.
“...He’s a boy, not my girlfriend.” Because he was behind the shelf, Basil couldn’t see Sunny, but his voice seemed just slightly more tentative than usual.
“Ah, I see. So you’re one of them queers I’ve been hearing about on the television? That’s cool.”
“He isn’t my boyfriend, either. We’re friends.”
Basil pressed his hands together tighter around the seed packet.
“Well damn, buster, neither of you act like it. Who’re the flowers for, then?”
“Him.”
The owner let out a hearty chuckle at that. “Alright! Over by the same aisle your friend just disappeared to.”
Basil avoided Sunny’s gaze as he came around the corner, hoping he wouldn’t notice the blush on his face. Although—casting a sidelong glance at him—there was more color in his cheeks than usual. He must’ve realized Basil had overheard his entire conversation with the shop owner.
For a few moments, the air was filled with the sound of the two of them rifling through plastic seed packets, neither looking at the other. “...Why’d you pick daisies?” Basil asked.
“Why’d you pick-” Sunny realized he didn’t know what Basil was looking for. “Uh…”
“Purple hyacinths. My grandma’s favorite.” Privately, Basil hoped Sunny didn’t know their meaning. It’d be a little embarrassing. Or maybe he’d think it was sweet? Hopefully the latter.
Definitely the latter , thought some part of him. He’s always been sentimental. I don’t think that aspect of Sunny changed.
“I think daisies are pretty,” Sunny fulfilled his end of the bargain, explaining his choice of flower. He thumbed across the picture on the seed packet: a small field filled with white daisies. Not particularly creative, but no less beautiful.
“I think they’re nice, too. I’ve always preferred white tulips, though.”
“I remember. Modest, simple, and perfect, right?” Sunny lightly nudged Basil with his elbow.
Of course he remembered. “Yeah… I know it’s cheesy.” Basil didn’t lean away from Sunny’s touch, even though he knew his face was flushed with embarrassment.
“I like it. The others were a gladiolus for Aubrey, rose for Hero, cactus for Kel, and sunflower for you, right?”
“Mhm.”
“...They’re all still accurate. Except the white tulip.” Sunny looked down.
“Well…” Basil hesitated for a moment before taking Sunny’s hand into his own. That got him to look up again, at least. “...You’re not perfect—nobody is. But you’re still one of the best people I know. And you’re definitely not simple.”
Not that you particularly fit the sunflower. You’re no good at being positive; this isn’t about you, though.
“...You think so?”
“Of course.” He gave Sunny a small smile, and felt his heart thump against his chest when Sunny smiled back. It was barely above a straight line, but from someone like him, it meant everything.
“...Thank you, Basil.” He felt Sunny gently squeezing his hand.
“I mean it.” Basil smiled, lacing their fingers together and feeling the sting from the cold outside fade away. The new warmth wasn’t just from the heater, which he knew for a fact, because the heater was broken.
The two of them looked into each other’s eye(s) for a few more moments and shared a comfortable silence for the first time in years. ‘All I Want For Christmas is You’ was still playing in the background, but it didn’t dampen the mood all that much—it was on its final chorus, anyway (thank God).
“...Hey, is ‘Freaks’ playing?” Basil asked, glancing up at the speakers, which had just changed songs.
“Yeah,” Sunny replied, a note of bewilderment in his voice.
“...The owner sure has… diverse taste in music.”
“You can say that again.”
“It kinda reminds me of songs I listened to when I was younger…” Basil mused aloud. “Same for you, right?”
Sunny hummed in agreement. “I like it. It feels… familiar to me,” he said after a moment of contemplation.
“It just seems right,” Basil replied. Not surprising, considering the subject matter of the lyrics. Well- that’s a little mean. Sunny isn’t a freak. But he definitely feels that way, and you’re certainly not a normal member of society. Neither of us are, really. “In a… morbid sort of way, I guess.”
“Yeah. I don’t think the lyrics stop it from being good music for dancing, though.”
“Why does it-” Basil squeaked as Sunny grabbed his other hand, raising it into the air and pulling him towards his chest. In semi-sync with the guitar in the background, Sunny moved the two of them from side to side in a waltz of sorts.
“ Don’t kill me, ” droned the store’s speakers, while Sunny spun a flustered Basil in one place. “ Just help me run away from everyone. ”
“S-Sunny, I don’t know how to dance-!” Basil yelped. Sunny was twirling him around with surprising skill, keeping him in step and not letting go.
“I do.”
And the speakers kept going. “ I need a place to stay, where I can cover up my face. ”
Basil smiled in bewilderment, letting Sunny take the lead. How and why- where had he even learned to dance? Mari and Hero?
…That was probably it, actually.
For a moment, Sunny’s eye was looking through Basil again.
“ Don’t cry-
-I am just a freak. ” The singer’s voice peaked at the end, and the lyric was repeated again and again.
“ I am just a freak. ”
Again and again.
“ I am just a freak. ”
Again and again.
“ I am just a freak. ”
Sunny released one of Basil’s hands, twirling him around and holding him at arm’s length—this time, it was Basil who pulled him in, for a multitude of reasons.
“ My head is filled with parasites; I dream of you almost every night.”
…All of these things in his head: Mari, Hero, his mistakes.
Basil leaned into Sunny’s chest, closing his eyes.
Part of him would still like to just forget about all of them. Dream it away.
“ Hopefully, I won’t wake up this time.”
Again…
“ I won’t wake up this time. I won’t wake up this time. I won’t wake up this time. ”
…and again.
As the song finished its final chorus, Sunny quite literally swept Basil off his feet, letting him hang at an angle in his arms, shoes helping to keep him balanced. He gasped, looking up at his best friend’s face. That small smile hadn’t left, and Basil couldn’t stop himself from grinning a little if he tried, a light blush forming under his tired eyes.
“You’re good at this,” Sunny complimented.
“...It was all you,” Basil replied after a moment, still awestruck.
Sunny’s lips were so close to Basil’s own. If he moved up just a few centimeters, he’d-
Don’t even think about it. Just because he doesn’t like Aubrey anymore doesn’t mean he reciprocates your feelings, and even if he did, you don’t belong with him. It’s a terrible idea-
Sunny set Basil properly on his feet again, briefly glancing away, and Basil did the same.
“My… arms were getting sore,” Sunny said, placing his hands in his pockets. Basil could swear there was a faint dusting of pink across his friend’s cheeks as well as his own.
“Really? Come on, I’m not that heavy,” Basil teased gently.
“Yes, you are.” Sunny pouted and poked Basil in the bicep. “You’re way more muscular than you should be.”
“I think you’re just a stick, Sunny.”
Sunny raised an eyebrow in a silent challenge, right before Basil swept him off his feet (fully this time) and into a bridal carry.
“H-hey!” For the first time Basil could recall, Sunny stuttered, eye widening the tiniest bit. He grabbed onto Basil’s shoulders for dear life and buried his face in the crook of his friend’s neck.
This is going to be one tough Winter Break, isn’t it?
“I’m not that strong,” Basil repeated. “You really just need to hit the gym and eat a healthier diet.”
“My mom’s already making me eat an apple every day…” Sunny grumbled into Basil’s collar.
“And I’m going to make you eat more than that.” Basil smirked, setting Sunny down and making a show of how little effort it took. Sunny crossed his arms, almost looking miffed at the fact Basil had stopped carrying him.
Wishful thinking, or-?
“If you really think I’m that light, you can carry me to the tech store,” Sunny challenged.
Rather than responding verbally, Basil swept Sunny off his feet again, earning protests of ‘wait, not in public!’ and ‘I was joking!’ as he walked out of the florist’s shop, a smug grin on his face. And for all his complaining, Sunny’s heart didn’t really seem in it.
After remembering they had to pay for their seed packets, Basil and Sunny found themselves at home again. They’d spent the day exploring the mall, checking out the food court, and—finally—buying a phone for Sunny, the freshly-removed box of which now lay on Basil’s desk.
Once all was said and done and the phone was set up with everyone’s numbers, the two of them sat quietly on their respective beds on either side of the room, bathed in yellow by the fairy lights and with the window drawn shut—not that they’d have seen anything outside, considering the sun had just set. In spite of how packed the day was, neither felt all that tired.
“That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time,” Sunny spoke up, breaking the silence but not looking away from his phone. Thoughts had been ringing through his mind all afternoon: why did you decide to dance with him? Why did you like it so much? What’s wrong with you?
Basil set down his copy of Dorian Grey . “Same here,” he giggled. “The others are nice, but I’m glad to be able to spend time with you again.”
You’re nothing like the person he saw you as. So, if he doesn’t feel that way anymore, why does he still want to spend time with you?
Sunny pushed that voice aside and looked over to Basil. “I like being with you, too.”
Maybe he doesn’t, the voice continued as Basil looked away from him, face reddening slightly. Maybe he just feels bad for what he did to Mari, and is trying to make it up to her by caring for you.
Before Sunny could continue, the door to Basil’s room opened and Polly poked her head in. “Hey, boys. It’s about time for you two to sleep.”
“It’s barely nine…” Basil grumbled, but didn’t offer any serious protest.
Sunny placed the phone on his nightstand and pulled the covers up to his chin. Even after a few days here, it was still a strange experience to live in the room where he’d lost an eye and Basil had almost lost his life. Not that he’d have it any other way.
Sunny shut his eye tight, hearing Polly flick off the lights and Basil turning over in his bed. He took deep, steady breaths, waiting for sleep to come.
The image of the clock ticking played in his mind’s eye. He heard the heater humming in the background.
It isn’t usually this hard.
Light snoring came from Basil’s side of the room. Sunny rolled onto his side and tugged the covers a bit tighter around himself, feeling the semi-scratchy fabric on his skin. He didn’t bother taking off the eyepatch—the socket was empty, and he didn’t want to use his glass eye, so he’d have to feel the wind on the space where his other eye should be. Worse, he’d freak out Basil.
Sunny opened his eye and looked up at the clock: ten.
This is getting a little ridiculous.
He rolled over again, huffing a little.
…How could he ever think you were perfect when you can’t even fall asleep? He wasn’t tired, either, but he still managed to sleep just fine. Get a grip.
Tossing and turning was how Sunny went into the night. A foreign experience, but not a welcome one.
|
🌻 |
Basil opened his eyes to find himself in darkness. Blinking away sleep, he turned over and cursed whatever had caused him to wake up.
…What was it that had caused him to wake up?
Slowly coming to his senses as his eyes adjusted to the low light, Basil turned on his side again and looked across the room. A thin sliver of white poked through the curtains, illuminating a shuddering shape in Sunny’s bed, wrapped up in blankets. As slowly and quietly as possible, little by little, Basil shimmied out from under his covers and sat up, watching Sunny. If he was just sleeping in an odd position, he didn’t want to disturb him.
“‘m sorry… I’m sorry…” he whispered. Now Basil could see him clearer: he was burying his face in his pillow, fingers hooking into with a vice-like grip and his hair damp with sweat. “I didn’t mean to… B-Basil-”
“Sunny?” Basil whispered. He stood up tentatively and made his way towards Sunny with the same glacial pace, each step slow and heavy.
What if you make it worse?
Sunny’s head practically snapped up from the pillow. It was too dark to see his eye, but Basil could tell it was fixed on his face. “What… what’s wrong?” Basil continued, ignoring the feeling of his heart straining against his ribs as though it’d bisect itself just to make it through. Sunny’s already iron-tight grip around the pillow had tightened, fingers digging into it like claws which would shred it if he moved them.
It’s guaranteed to get worse if you leave. He’s supposed to be your best friend—now prove it.
Basil felt like he was back in his room as he was a few months ago, staring Sunny down when he still had both eyes, but with himself in Sunny’s place. Was that selfish of him? Feeling like he was in danger around the boy whose eye he had taken, leaving only one to bore through him with?
“I-I thought… you… you’re not-” Sunny hiccupped, and Basil realized his face was streaked with tears. “I thought you were dead—I got scared of you a-a-and I pushed you- you weren’t even doing anything wro-”
“Breathe,” Basil reassured him, raising his hands to show they were empty. “I-I’m not going to hurt you. You were dreaming; it-” he stopped himself from saying ‘it’s going to be okay.’ “-it was a nightmare. Just a nightmare.”
Sunny kept staring at him, eye wide with abject terror and red from crying. The white sliver of moon poking through the dark curtains, split down the middle by the window frame, looked like the eye of a monster.
You did that, he thought to himself. You did.
“...Can I come closer?” Basil asked. It didn’t even take a moment for Sunny to nod, bobbing his head up and down rapidly like a dashboard ornament.
Hesitantly, Basil approached his best friend, and snaked his arms around him with even more hesitancy. He pulled Sunny in—keeping a firm grip—and placed his hand on the back of the boy’s head, feeling sweat coat his fingers from both Sunny and himself. Sunny, previously eerily immobile, suddenly grabbed the back of Basil’s sweater with such ferocity one would’ve thought it was a life ring in the middle of a hurricane at sea.
Sunny buried his face in Basil’s shoulder and sobbed dryly, fragile frame shaking like a leaf.
What are you supposed to say in a situation like this? ‘Everything is going to be okay?’ No, it might well not be. That’s not how this works.
Basil rubbed slow circles into Sunny’s back, whispering, “I’m here. You won’t hurt me, and I won’t hurt you. Just take a deep breath and focus.”
Sunny’s grip loosened slightly, but he didn’t release Basil’s sweater, instead opting to adjust himself so his head was in the crook of Basil’s neck.
“...I’m here for you,” Basil continued softly.
For some time—maybe seconds, maybe minutes, maybe hours—the two of them sat there like that: Basil with one knee up on the bed to keep himself steady, while he held Sunny and Sunny held him. The moon kept its judgemental gaze on them, but Basil paid it no mind. He was more than preoccupied already.
Basil’s heart had stopped trying to shred itself on his ribs, instead aching quietly. He really should’ve been prepared for something like this in hindsight, with how Sunny had never made any non-familial friends aside from Aubrey, Kel, Hero, and Basil. Living for months without the social connection Basil had had-
He didn’t like thinking about it.
And now, Sunny had that social connection he deserved again, and Basil would have to be the one to foster it. Considering he was one of, if not the primary reason for Sunny’s nightmares, and a fair few of his problems, it would be cruel of him not to take up that responsibility.
Basil still hadn’t figured out how long it’d been when Sunny pulled away a little, shifting his head to look up at him. His eye was still glistening but seemed to have been all cried out by now. He released his hold on Basil and sat back, looking away. “...Sorry,” he murmured after a moment of silence.
| 🌻 |
“It’s alright,” Basil replied, and he meant it. He took a seat next to Sunny on the bed, wrapping an arm around his best friend’s shoulders. “I… I had this happen to me, back when I first got out of the psych ward.”
Are you making this about yourself? No, you’re relating an experience to him to let him know he isn’t alone. Calm down; don’t spiral now, of all times.
“...Oh.” Sunny wiped his nose hurriedly and ran his hands through his hair, but strands were caught in the thin strap of his medical eyepatch. Basil had noticed him sleeping with it, never quite understanding why. Sunny awkwardly tried to push the strands beneath the string, but to no avail. He pulled it up a little and began adjusting his hair again. Basil cocked his head and tapped him on the shoulder.
Basil felt a shudder run down his spine but tried to push it away. He flexed and unflexed his fingers in his lap, taking a deep breath.
This wasn’t just for Sunny; it was for him, too. He couldn’t run from the things he’d done—something he’d found out the hard way.
“I don’t mean to assume, but… if you’re keeping it on for my sake, you can take it off.” Basil gave Sunny a gentle smile that he hoped would be enough to show he was being genuine. Being honest with himself, the prospect of seeing the consequences of his actions made him rather uncomfortable, but- “I’d have to see it eventually, anyway.”
Sunny didn’t move. For a moment, Basil worried he’d offended him, but those were quashed when he hooked a finger beneath the string and, in one smooth motion, lifted the eyepatch off. Mouth set in a small frown, Sunny slowly turned to face Basil, both eyes open.
Too open.
Although Basil had gone for a stab, the shears were wide and his grip shaky enough that there was a cut dipping into the flesh directly above and below Sunny’s right eye. It’d scarred evenly enough that it looked to almost be the same color as the rest of his skin, just darker and a more intense pigment, but it was still noticeable.
And the area between those little scars was completely empty. Like a cave carved into a mountainside, the walls being of flesh.
Basil felt a little like he was going to be sick.
Sunny had and still has to look at that every day. Every time he walks into the bathroom, past a puddle, next to a car or a window. You did that to him. It’s your fault he has a permanent physical mark which will always remind him of the worst years of his life.
Basil’s confidence cracked and he struggled to maintain Sunny’s gaze, looking right past him. “...Does it hurt?” he asked, voice small.
“No,” Sunny replied. “It’s okay. I don’t… I don’t like looking at it, but it was worth it.”
“That doesn’t make it okay,” Basil hissed, averting his gaze from his best friend’s eyes- eye further. “I… I’m still the reason you have to look at it at all. E-every time-” he pressed his hands against each other, fighting the urge to panic. “-that you look into a mirror, or water, or… or… you’re reminded of everything that happened. And it’s because of what I did-” he hiccupped. Not all of their problems were caused solely by him, but they wouldn’t have been nearly as bad if he wasn’t there. “-I-I understand why you… why you would fear me.”
“Well, that doesn’t make it okay,” Sunny retorted, placing a finger under Basil’s chin and forcing him to look him in the eyes. “And it’s not like you came away scot-free, either.” He thumbed over the small scars on Basil’s face.
“You… really think you’re clever, don’t you?” Basil laughed softly, wiping a stray tear from one of his eyes. “I know… I’m sorry, I got carried away there.”
“It’s okay. Really, this time,” Sunny replied. “You listened to me; now I listen to you, if that’s what you want.”
“No, wait- Sunny, you’re seeing a therapist, right?”
“...Yes,” Sunny replied slowly. A small wave of relief went through Basil. That was something, at least.
“Has your therapist given you advice for dealing with this kind of thing?”
“Yeah, I’ve been improving. I-I’m just… scared of what might happen if I can’t control my feelings. The last time I failed, I hospitalized you, and the time before that-” Sunny’s breath hitched. “She told me… she told me I could get better, but…”
“You managed to confess the truth, even though you knew the potential consequences. You’re strong, Sunny,” Basil assured him. “But if you don’t want this, I won’t blame you for leav-” and he really wouldn’t, but Sunny had different plans.
“I do want this.” He left no room for argument.
Basil’s heart thrummed against his chest. Would this really work? Could it, even?
“...Come on. It’s your turn.” Sunny punched Basil lightly in the shoulder.
“Are you sure?”
Sunny nodded.
After a moment’s hesitation, Basil scooched further onto the bed and leaned his back against the wall. “...I… it’s rare for me to spiral like that these days. I’ve been getting better, really. Trying to move on from what happened. Not forget about it, of course, but…”
“Has it been going well?”
“...I think so…? At first, I was really just doing it so I wouldn’t bother the people around me anymore, but… it’s getting easier to be happy.”
Sunny offered Basil a small smile at that. “You deserve it.”
Maybe you do. Whether or not you deserve happiness…
Basil looked at the moonlight mirrored in Sunny’s eye, a slice of white in a pool of inky black, surrounded by the reflections of tiny stars.
…and whether or not it’s a good idea for you to have it are entirely different things, though.
I don’t need him to be happy; I was happy before he came back.
But that didn’t make this—having him so close, enough to almost brush lips at the florist’s shop, but just almost —all that much easier.
“...If so, I should be sleeping, and I think you should, too.” Basil patted Sunny’s cheek teasingly.
“Not as easy as it used to be…” he grumbled, leaning his back against the wall next to Basil.
“Maybe it will be, if I read to you?” Basil suggested casually, hoping he didn’t sound too desperate to relive those memories. They’d been some of his favorites from the time before the incident.
“Like when we were kids?” Sunny cocked his head to the side, reading Basil like one of his books.
“Y-yeah…” He blushed.
“I’d love that.” And Sunny smiled again.
Under the gentle yellow glow of his bedroom lamp, Basil sat shoulder-to-shoulder with Sunny on his bed. His best friend giggled quietly to avoid waking Polly while Basil read in a hushed voice for the same reason—but still with those silly accents he’d used when they were younger.
It didn’t matter they’d been on the verge of or far beyond tears just a few minutes earlier. It didn’t matter that this was the room they’d tried to kill each other in. Right here, right now, they weren’t those people from back then, who hadn’t seen a way out and hadn’t accepted what they did as a result of that. It didn’t matter that they were reading a faded copy of one of the Magic Treehouse books .
Right here, right now, Basil and Sunny simply were, and that was enough.
Notes:
Panic attack starts and ends w/🌻
the scene in the mall was inspired by sunflower seeds in the rearview mirror, to the surprise of no one who's read it
join the discord: https://discord.gg/3m3e3tHEPg
very cool and based people there
another one of them chapters i'm real nervous about. i'm hoping this is one of the real /good/ chapters, like 9, 12, or 13, but idk. did the dance thing feel rushed into, and did the dance itself feel forced? is basil and sunny trying to become friends again unhealthy? was this chapter boring? please leave your thoughts in the comments. i appreciate them more than words can describe
Chapter 17: Run
Summary:
Not anymore.
Notes:
Thank you for 10k hits and also I'm late again woohoo
Beta read by UdonPuddle and spooky. In other news, I’ve started a new longfic, which will be one of my two new main longfics after I finish MSRB and FaF. This one’s still sunflower, don’t worry (and I actually use embeds now):
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Aubrey leaned against the brick wall of the school building, candy cigarette in her mouth and fear in her belly. Above, light grey clouds blotted out the sun, which she knew would be low in the sky—it was the afternoon, after all.
“Last afternoon before Winter Break…” she muttered to herself.
To her immense ‘misfortune,’ her suspension had been ended early by one of the teachers who really hated her and thought she’d be less happy at school than she was at home. Mr. Jones would never know how grateful she was.
“Technically, it’s already Winter Break!” Kel said cheerily, walking around the corner and startling her.
“Jesus, Kel-” She fumbled to not drop the candy cigarette.
“Taking the Lord’s name in vain? Not very Christian of you.” Kel leaned against the wall next to her. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
Aubrey rubbed her arm, grimacing not (just) because of how shitty the cigarette tasted. “Well…”
She hadn’t planned anything for this. Her younger self probably would’ve come up with a five-page poem filled with terrible grammar and allegories about unicorns. Right now, she really wished she had that kind of creative energy.
“I… well, I wanted to tell you something,” Aubrey began slowly.
Kel didn’t respond, instead giving her that stupid grin, waiting for her to continue.
“So… I think I’ve felt this way for a while, I just never wanted to admit it because it felt embarrassing to me.” Aubrey ran her hands through her hair. It was slightly sweaty despite it being winter. “But… um…”
She tossed the candy cigarette into a trash can, sighing and avoiding Kel’s gaze. “There’s no easy way to say this, but I… uh… I like you.”
“Can’t relate,” Kel replied, making finger guns at her. “But I like you, too.”
“I-I mean…” Aubrey buried her burning face in her hands, but noticed something in Kel’s own. A cheap plastic gold medal. “Wait… where’d you get that?”
“Oh, they finally passed out the awards for the autumn sports festival. This one’s for the two hundred-meter sprint; I got another for basketball. And they were only four months off-schedule, too!”
“Huh. I never went to those. That’s cool, though. Are your parents getting you anything?”
“Yup! After they take Hero to pick up his new car, they’ll probably swing by McDonald’s on the way back.”
“Oh.” That seems pretty fuckin’ lackluster to me. This might not be the biggest school out there, but the kids are all damn athletic. Coming in first place once, let alone in two different categories is one hell of an accomplishment. “That’s… nice. What’s the occasion for Hero? I mean, doesn’t he already have a car?”
“Yeah. Mom and Dad said they’d buy him one to celebrate him making it one and a half years through med school, and he reminded them I’d won two medals, so they decided to pick something up for me, too!”
Aubrey stared at him, blush long gone. This just keeps happening, doesn’t it? Basil had told her about Thanksgiving, and she’d witnessed other incidents firsthand. “...That’s kinda fucked, Kel.”
“What is?”
“I mean… come on. If you found out Sunny’s parents were treating him like this—not caring about his accomplishments, only Mari’s, and needing to be reminded of his existence —wouldn’t you have said something?”
“Yup.” Kel made finger guns at her again. “Anything else you wanted, or should we head home now?”
“What?” Aubrey raised an eyebrow, flabbergasted. Hornswoggled, as The Maverick™ would (incorrectly) put it. “That… Kel, shouldn’t we do something about that?”
“Do you want to?”
“I… yes!?”
“Cool. What is it?” Kel’s finger twitched behind his back.
“Just… Kel.” Aubrey pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to summon any courage she could. Basil confronted the guy whose girlfriend he hung- she tried not to think about what’d happened afterward. -and Sunny came back after confessing to a literal murder. You can do this much. “You can’t avoid things like this forever.”
“...What do you mean?” Kel’s grin wasn’t usually that strained. Aubrey had spent a lot of time staring at the stupid thing; she could tell.
“We all coped differently, but none of us coped well, including you. It’s always been obvious things like this during the past few years have affected you.”
“I-” Kel’s smile faltered, and Aubrey soldiered on.
“When I saw you talk at the sleepover with Basil, back in the summer, it was obvious there. When Basil told me about how you acted during Thanksgiving, it was obvious there. Whenever I wanted to know how you really felt, the full extent of it, someone had to really prompt you. Don’t you get it?” Aubrey slowly approached a now-silent, blank-faced Kel. “Your feelings matter to all of us just as much as anyone else’s. If they don’t, then that fucker’s days are numbered.”
Aubrey took one of Kel’s hands in her own, trying to keep that small spark of confidence going. Remember what Sunny told you. “And just so you know… your feelings definitely matter to me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kel asked softly, looking down at the hand she was holding.
“You know what it’s supposed to mean. You can’t run from this, either.”
The two of them stared into each other’s eyes unblinkingly. “...Are we supposed to kiss now?” Kel asked.
“I mean, yeah. I think so?” Aubrey replied, scratching her head.
Both leaned in at once, softly bonking their foreheads together and earning a small ‘idiot’ from Aubrey before their lips met for the first—and hopefully not last—time.
Sunny blinked sleep out of his eyes, letting out a silent yawn and stretching. Sunlight filtered in through a crack in the curtains and reflected off Basil’s golden hair so intensely it almost blinded him in his other eye.
…Why is Basil in your bed?
His best friend was draped across his legs, snoring gently with both arms wrapped around Sunny’s torso. He slowly sat up, careful not to wake Basil, and cursed his terrible sleeping position as he felt a sting run up his spine. It took a moment for Sunny to realize both were at the wrong end of the bed, with his pillow beneath their feet and the covers messily wrapped around the two of them. The bed was nowhere near large enough for two people, so they were practically forced to huddle against each other to avoid falling off.
Not that Sunny particularly minded this. Basil was small and soft and warm enough that it was rather comfortable, actually.
Sunny gently ran his hands through Basil’s fluffy hair, watching his chest rise and fall. He smiled a little as Basil whined quietly, pressing his head into Sunny’s own chest and gripping his torso tighter. His face was dusted with a light blush and his mouth slightly open, head positioned just high enough that his lashes tickled Sunny’s collarbone.
Cute.
…No. That wasn’t the right word. Boys- straight boys weren’t meant to call each other cute. Pretty worked better, especially for someone like Basil, with the way the yellow sunlight filtering in through the curtains made his hair look white, the way said fluffy hair tickled his chin, the way his elegant sidetails were draped across the bed and Sunny’s chest-
Beautiful would be most accurate, actually. Like a… flower, he supposed? Sunny wasn’t good at comparisons.
But it felt like all of those words applied to Basil, really. Cute, pretty, beautiful, adorable, staring at him with moderate concern-
“Sunny?” Basil’s eyes were half-lidded and still heavy with sleep. Those lashes Sunny had been admiring a moment ago fluttered as Basil rubbed his eyes. He felt colder without Basil holding him. “Wow, you’re up before me…”
“Just by a few moments.” Sunny figured he didn’t have to tell Basil what he’d been doing for those few moments. What did you think you were doing? hissed the little voice in his head. His heart thudded in his chest and he struggled to not hide his face in the covers.
Basil stretched and pulled away from Sunny, blanket wrapped around both of them like a large cape, and yawned louder than someone of his small size should be capable of. He practically jumped out of his skin when Polly opened the door.
She, Basil, and Sunny simply stared at each other for a few moments before she let out a quiet, “Oh.” She cleared her throat. “...I’ll… wait for you two in the kitchen. Just…” she sighed, turned around, and muttered, “at this rate, that boy had better be using protection….”
“I had better… wha-?” Basil went red in the face as the door closed behind Polly and he figured out what she’d said.
Deciding to ignore the implications of that entire conversation, Sunny part-crawled and part-fell out of the bed, groaning with the effort. He still wasn’t used to not sleeping in until past noon, although ten A.M. wasn’t exactly early, either. Well, by his standards it was; not by Basil’s. He tried his best to push away the memory of what he’d just done, even though a part of him didn’t really want to.
What is wrong with you?
Sunny picked up his phone and checked his messaging app. His friends had been silent thus far, save for Kel. Just a few minutes prior, he had sent Sunny a flurry of desperate texts begging him to accompany him and his family to the supermarket because ‘its so boring here i sweat **swear also hero is no fun right now and Aubrey’s too busy please pleas plfds.’
Sunny still hadn’t had much one-on-one time with Kel—although this wouldn’t exactly be one-on-one—but it would still be a nice opportunity to chat, even if he’d rather have Basil with them. Well, he hadn’t said he wouldn’t be coming, but with Hero there…
Sunny turned around to find Basil curled into a ball, burying his face in his pillow.
“Basil.” He didn’t respond. “Basil.” This time, he snapped his fingers to get his best friend’s attention.
“H-huh?” Basil lifted his head dimly.
“Kel’s asking me to come to the grocery store with him and his family.”
“...Is Hero going to be there?”
Sunny nodded.
“I… uh…” Basil wrung his hands. Although he held Sunny’s gaze, his eyes were obviously deep in thought. He swallowed before continuing, “...He hates me.”
“You don’t have to come with me,” Sunny replied. “I understand why you wouldn’t want to be around him.”
“...Thank you.” Basil bowed his head, looking almost ashamed. “I’m sorry….”
“It’s alright.” Sunny rubbed his best friend’s shoulder. “I’ll probably be back in a few hours, anyway.” On a shopping trip with any other friend, it wouldn’t take nearly as long, but this was Kel.
“Hey, wait up for a minute.” Basil gently tugged on Sunny’s sleeve. “I wanted to ask you about Polly.”
“What about her?” He cocked his head curiously.
“Just- over the past few months, she’s done so much for me, but I never told her… you know.”
Sunny nodded. Makes sense.
“And I’ve been thinking that… that’s not right. I feel like she should know what I’ve done.” Basil looked down.
“I disagree.”
“So- wait, what?” Basil looked up.
“A mistake you made when you were twelve and under duress shouldn’t follow you around forever when she wasn’t harmed directly by your actions.”
“No, she was . I’ve been a burden on her for more than two years now, and never did anything to repay her. She took care of me and I just… avoided her.”
Sunny glanced away, running through the possibilities mentally.
“But if you don’t want her to know, then that’s fine, too,” Basil added hurriedly. “I… I understand that.”
There’s no way for Basil to separate you from the truth, should he decide to explain it to Polly. What’s she going to do, though? Throw you out for accidentally killing a girl she never knew? Definitely not.
But what can Polly do to Basil? What if she decides to throw him out?
Sunny thought through all she’d done for Basil, even after his psychotic break and lengthy, still ongoing recovery.
…That one’s even more unlikely.
Basil had his hands clasped in front of him patiently, waiting for Sunny to finish zoning out. “I…” He sighed. “I never asked you about whether or not I should tell our friends the truth, did I? You’ve earned this.”
“It was necessary then, though-”
“And it’s necessary now. Maybe not for Polly to move on, but for you to move on.”
Basil looked down again. “So… you’re okay with it?”
“Yeah.” Sunny tried to give him his best smile. It probably looked horrific, but Basil returned it regardless. “I’ll see you later, then?” Another twinge of regret at the fact he’d be spending today largely without Basil ran through him.
“Mhm.” Basil gave Sunny a quick hug, wrapping his arms around him tightly and murmuring, “Thanks,” into his best friend’s shoulder.
Sunny’s eyes widened a little at the sudden contact, but he returned the hug after a moment; he felt his heart begin to beat a little faster when his hands touched Basil’s back.
This was… nice. Very nice-
“Uh, you can let go now,” Basil whispered awkwardly.
Apologizing, Sunny released Basil and glanced away again. “S-so, when do you plan on actually telling her?”
“I’m not sure.” Basil rubbed his arm. “I don’t really… I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”
“Whenever you are.” Sunny nodded.
Basil took a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll see you this evening, then?”
“That’s a generous estimate for a grocery run with Kel.”
As Sunny got ready to leave, he hoped he could coordinate something with Kel and Aubrey soon. Basil and Hero deserved to be friends again.
Basil walked into the kitchen, still rubbing his eyes and reeling from how close he’d been holding Sunny just a few minutes prior. His stomach was still turning at the thought—and the conversation they’d had last night. Could they really be friends again? And then Sunny had given the go-ahead to talk to Polly about the truth—Basil had thought about it a few times before, but, with Sunny back, it wasn’t just his secret to tell anymore.
Speaking of, how would his other friends react? Would they worry about Polly informing the police?
Polly was wiping down one of the cabinets and Sunny had left a few minutes prior.
“Good morning,” Basil yawned, pulling out a cereal box from the pantry. He hoped he wouldn’t have to correct her on-
“Morning, Basil. So…” Polly set down the towel and took a seat across from him. “...I’m something of a hopeless romantic, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but I want to make sure you and Sunny are taking it slo-”
“N-no!” Basil choked on his own spit, dropping his spoon. “I-I mean… we’re not dating.”
Just the thought has heat rising to his cheeks. You wish.
Polly raised an eyebrow. “That’s twice now—thrice, technically—that you’ve had ‘friends’ sleeping in your bed.”
Basil looked away, face burning. “It didn’t mean anything; he just had a nightmare….”
“Alright then,” Polly laughed. “Now, if you’re not going with Sunny, what do you want to do today?”
Earlier, Basil had checked his phone to find Aubrey was busy for the day. Under normal circumstances, he could’ve called up Cris, Mincy, and/or Jay, but they were all on vacation somewhere now that Winter Break had started. “Uh… I don’t have any real plans.” He looked around the kitchen, which still had dust around many of its surfaces. “I could help you with the housework.”
“Aw, that’s sweet of you. If you really don’t have any other plans, I’d be glad for the help.” Polly smiled at him.
Looking around just this room, Basil felt like he was going to regret this.
…And regret this he would. At least Polly would also be helping him with gardening for the day, but he’d spent the rest of said day mopping floors, wiping cabinets, sweeping floors, wiping more cabinets, doing laundry…
Polly had been busy helping Sunny the past few days, so there was a lot to do.
Basil sighed and flopped onto the living room armchair after setting down the laundry basket, now filled with clean clothes. He closed his eyes and groaned softly.
“Do you want to take a break?” Polly asked gently.
“No, let’s get everything over with quickly. What’s up next…?” Basil tried to stop his voice from shaking, opening one eye groggily to look at Polly. By some miracle, she barely even seemed tired.
“Nothing, technically, but I thought I’d help you water your plants for today as a thank-you.”
“I’ll help.” Basil stood up, dusting himself off and massaging his aching arms. By this point, Polly knew better than to argue with him.
The two of them spent the next few minutes walking around the room, watering and pruning the plants that’d been brought in for the winter. There weren’t any major tasks to be done, but there were still a whole hell of a lot of plants. Halfway through, combined with the rest of the day’s work, Basil’s arms were aching again, but Polly was just going through the motions despite being visibly tired. By now, the sun was peeking through the curtains again, but on the opposite side of the house. The entire room was bathed in low orange light.
“Careful with that one, please,” Basil piped up as he saw Polly about to water a particular flower. “It’s fragile.”
And important to me.
“A white egret orchid, right?” Polly asked, slowly pouring water into the pot, using a finger to keep the can’s flow controlled and even.
“Yeah, it is!” Basil replied happily. “They’re… also one of my favorite flowers.”
“I could see why. The meaning’s about as pretty as the actual flower.”
“Wait, you study floriography?” Basil paused.
“Only recently. I wanted something to connect with you over,” Polly laughed.
She’s putting way more effort into this than she ever needed to, Basil thought to himself. Especially after you basically ignored her for years, only to show her she had been saddled with a nutcase.
Even if he wanted to—which he didn’t—he couldn’t deny he was glad to have someone like her caring for him. Basil could never handle an entire house on his own, especially not without Grandma around, even in a senile state.
As Polly filled up a watering can (again), he asked, “God, how do you have enough energy for all this?”
“Well, it’s my job. I wanted to do this.” Polly went from plant to plant, watering each the ideal amount. She’d had practice a few months ago, when Basil was in the psych ward. “I’ve always loved caring for other people. When I was younger, I played with dolls all the time, and I started babysitting when I was a teenager. It felt natural to me, which is why I was so surprised when…” she paused in place, still holding the watering can. Basil watched her, shears ready to snip off an errant stem on one of his plants. “...I failed. I mean, I was always scared of it, but I don’t think I really expected to screw up on that scale.” Her eyes were now downcast.
“You didn’t.” Basil set down the shears, slowly walking up to Polly. “You weren’t even trained to take care of children, right?”
“It was still my job,” Polly replied, not meeting his eyes. She set the watering can down. “I’ve said it before, but I’m sorry, Basil.”
“And I’ve said it before, but I forgive you. It was never your fault.” Basil walked around her so she had to look at him. “A-anyways…” he tried to change the subject. “I think we’ve finished with all the plants for today.”
“Yeah.” Polly slowly looked up, taking off her gardening gloves with a similar pace.
Basil headed over to the couch and turned on the TV, looking over his shoulder at Polly and patting the cushion beside him. “...Sit down,” he said, phrasing it not necessarily demandingly but not as a question, either.
Slowly as ever, she took a seat next to him, eyes a little unfocused. Basil hugged his arms around himself—something about kids on a railroad was playing on TV, but, in fairness to Polly, he couldn’t focus either.
As Basil was thinking about what to say, or if he should say anything at all, Polly began, “Sorry I got so emotional back there.” She let out a small laugh. “I’m a little off today.”
“Is… something the matter?” Basil asked slowly.
Polly looked out the window, where the sun had finally set and the sky was quickly growing dark. After a moment in thought, she turned to face Basil, a soft smile on her face. “Well, there isn’t really an easy way to lead into this.”
“...Into what?” Basil wrung his fingers in his lap, feeling his heart thumping against his chest and a small pit forming in his stomach. What if she didn’t want to care for him anymore? Was he too annoy- no, she’d just professed guilt (again) for failing to do a job she hadn’t been trained for.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad!” Polly reassured him quickly, ruffling his hair. “I hope you don’t find it bad, at least. Before Sunny came over, I was doing some research, and I finished it recently.” She clasped and unclasped her hands. Basil watched her motionlessly, silently waiting for her to continue.
“...I would, theoretically—in the event that your parents agree, and I don’t see why they wouldn’t—” the pit in his stomach grew larger. “—be able to begin the adoption process.”
…
A beat of silence.
“For who?” Before the sheer stupidity of what Basil had just said could set in, Polly laughed.
“For… for you, Basil!” she practically cackled.
…Oh.
…
She’s… not joking. She wouldn’t. Not about this.
…
Is this … real?
…
A parent.
You- I… would have a parent.
For the very first time in his life.
He would have a parent who cared for him through more ways than just money. An actual mother who would teach him how to cook, drive, help him with his homework, help him with his garden, someone who he could go to when he needed someone—no matter the circumstances, he would have someone who would care for him unconditionally, who would be able to lead him in life far better than Sunny had, because she would have actually chosen this, chosen him -
Basil’s heart strained against his ribs. Slowly, he turned to look at his hands, turning them over in his lap and softly pinching himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.
Or maybe he was having a nightmare.
Basil felt his heart thudding against his ribs even harder than it already was as he looked up again at Polly’s smiling face. “I-if you don’t want to, that’s also fi-” Polly began hurriedly, but Basil cut her off.
“No, I’d… I’d love that.”
He would. But the realization had sunk in almost instantly after the initial wave of euphoria: he wasn’t the person she thought he was.
He might not have killed anyone, but, frankly, he’d done worse.
He might have been on the path to forgiving himself, but that didn’t mean Polly had to forgive him.
What she did have was the right to know.
Otherwise, that wouldn’t be right. After all this, Polly more than deserved to know who she would be harboring.
…At least she wouldn’t throw out Sunny. She shouldn’t. It would be downright wrong to hate a random boy who had accidentally killed his sister four years ago and then spent them feeling endless guilt over it.
Polly looked at him concernedly, still waiting for him to elaborate.
“I…” Basil swallowed. Sunny had confessed this to people who were more likely to hate him than Polly was to hate Basil, and Sunny had given him the go-ahead to tell her. He could do this.
Calm down, focus, and persist. Remember what she told you.
“ ...I have to tell you something. ”
Mari.
Polly had heard the name before. She knew this girl had been Sunny’s elder sister and Henry’s girlfriend, committing suicide more than four years ago, splitting up Basil’s old friend group. At least, that was what she’d thought-
-until now.
Because Mari hadn’t hung herself. Apparently, the shy, quiet younger brother had pushed her down the stairs. And then Sunny’s shy, quiet best friend had hung her.
And to think Polly was worried she’d done something wrong—overstepped her boundaries, been too intrusive, and annoyed Basil.
As if.
At some point in Basil’s story, Polly stopped wringing her fingers in her lap and her hands stopped shaking. The only things she felt were the words coming from his mouth.
Perhaps that was why it took her so long to notice he was crying.
Ever so slowly, feeling as though her hand wasn’t there, Polly focused on what was in front of her and leaned forward. She put one hand on his shuddering shoulder, using the other to lift his chin so he was forced to look up, then gently wiped away the tears streaming down his face.
Things… made a lot more sense now. Four years of self-hatred, jumping at shadows, losing everything he’d ever cared about-
“I… I just wanted to help…” Basil whimpered, his lip quivering. At least he was managing to hold Polly’s gaze. “I-I never meant to-”
“...I know,” she replied. “I know.”
Slowly, Polly brought an arm around Basil and pulled him in for a hug, drawing a small gasp from him. She rested her head on his without a word.
It did feel like a running theme by this point, but she’d signed up for this. She shouldn’t be complaining.
And as her brain tried to make sense of everything she’d just been told to form a coherent response and comfort her ward, it was only then that Polly realized a tear had begun to roll down her cheek, too.
“...Basil, I-” Polly tried to compose herself better. “-I can’t imagine what the past few years have been like for you, and I know that you would…” Never act in malice? she thought to herself. It could be considered a little selfish, but… “No sane person should hold something that happened so long ago—when you were twelve—against you. I understand why you acted the way you did. And before you ask: I don’t hate you.”
Basil sniffled, going completely limp in her grip. “...Thank you,” he whispered.
There wasn’t much fanfare, but he’d probably had this whole talk with his friends before, so it wasn’t surprising he wasn’t that shocked.
“So… that was a yes to the adoption idea, right?” Polly asked.
Wrapping his own arms around his soon-to-be (not really; the adoption process was long and arduous) mother, Basil nodded.
Sunny locked the door behind himself, the ghost of a small smile still on his face. It was remarkable how Kel could turn a grocery run into an adventure, but, through the power of Mincy’s raccoon (that she had left to Kel to babysit, for some ungodly reason), caffeine overdose, and very annoyed parents and older siblings, he’d made it work.
Unfortunately but unsurprisingly, there was no opportunity to talk to Kel about Hero alone. Worst case, he, Aubrey and Kel would have to coordinate over text, a medium he was still very unfamiliar with. Regardless of its shortcomings, Sunny hoped Basil had had as good of a day as he did.
Basil.
That brought back the nagging thoughts which had followed Sunny around all day.
Last night, he had not just cracked, not just broken down, but positively shattered in front of his best friend, and had to be held together like a porcelain doll while he cried his heart out because he’d had a bad dream.
Sunny mulled the thought over again. His therapist told him to stop being so hard on himself. He did not like his therapist.
Regardless, maybe there was still a bright side to that whole debacle—at least he’d gotten to share a bed with Basil. It felt… markedly different compared to when they were kids.
In a good way, though. Part of Sunny wished he could’ve just stayed in bed with Basil all day, no matter how fun it had been to hang out with Kel and Hero—soft bed, soft Basil; what more could a man want?
And besides, Sunny couldn’t say he would hold it against Basil for having a similar issue and needing to be comforted. Then again, though, Basil had dealt with worse than him, hadn’t he? Sunny had just slept for four years, and being awake was the worst nightmare he could imagine.
This part of his new life—being able to be awake without feeling like he was being waterboarded—had certainly been a welcome change thus far. Most parts had been, save for the fact that he couldn’t see Mari anymore—even a fake visage.
Well… there was always the graveyard, which he still hadn’t brought flowers to. He hadn’t had the time yet, between all the insanity of the last few days. A prick of guilt pierced his chest—the first chance he got, he’d visit Mari. It was the least he could do.
After what was at least a few minutes of introspection, Sunny finally looked around the room to find Basil and Polly looking back, each sitting at the dinner table hunched over a plate of spaghetti with a third by an empty seat.
“-nny? Sunny?” Polly snapped her fingers, something she’d seemingly already done multiple times by now.
“He just does this sometimes,” Basil reassured her, taking a bite of spaghetti.
“S-sorry,” Sunny said. Feeling his face heat up slightly, he took a seat by Basil and picked up a fork, prodding his meal. His best friend turned to face him, giving him a small smile.
“So, what kept you so long?” Polly inquired. “Wasn’t it just a grocery run?”
“A grocery run with Kel,” Sunny corrected.
“A grocery run with Kel,” Basil affirmed.
“...Fair,” Polly sighed.
Sunny took a bite of his meal, exhaling contentedly. It wasn’t perfect, but it still had a near-ideal flavor, texture, and consistency.
“Thank you for cooking,” he told Polly after swallowing.
“Oh, I was mostly just helping Basil. He’s getting so good, isn’t he?”
Chewing his next bite, Sunny decided he had changed his mind. It tasted perfect.
“Mom…” Basil hid his face in his hands.
Sunny struggled not to spit out the aforementioned bite, suppressing a chuckle at yet another slip of the tongue.
But Basil didn’t correct himself, and Polly just smiled and ruffled his hair gently.
Sunny lifted a finger. “Are you…?”
“Basil agreed to let me start the adoption process. I’m not technically his mother yet, but I like the sound of the word.” Polly shrugged.
“...Oh.”
“Another thing,” Polly continued, and Basil tensed up, avoiding both their gazes. “Basil told me about what really happened with Mari.”
Sunny dropped his fork, which clattered against the table.
…
…That was faster than expected.
Sunny and Basil hadn’t exactly agreed on a time when he’d reveal the truth, just ‘whenever he was ready.’ He’d thought Basil would tell him beforehand, and not just… go for it… but, then again, it wasn’t like Sunny was the one who would be confessing.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first.” Basil shrunk in on himself.
“It’s… it’s alright,” Sunny replied numbly, turning to look at Polly, who was still smiling gently. She hadn’t called the cops yet—and had just said she was adopting Basil—so she couldn’t have responded that badly, right? It would’ve been strange if she did, anyways—or at least responded badly to Sunny. It wasn’t like Polly had known Mari, so it was unlikely she’d have been angry at him for an accidental murder four years ago.
And besides, it was only out of Basil and Polly’s generosity that he was staying here in the first place—generosity that could’ve and maybe should’ve been revoked at a moment’s notice, given how he showed up here at a moment’s notice.
“I want you to know I don’t hold it against either of you. You were both children.” Polly placed a hand on Sunny’s shoulder.
Just because her forgiveness was expected didn’t mean Sunny was ungrateful, though.
Notes:
join the discord
very cool and based people there
Another chapter I’m nervous about, les go.. so, I had a few scenes where Basil considered telling the truth to Polly in previous chapters, but I’m not sure if that was enough buildup to him talking to Sunny about it. Did the kelbrey scene at the start feel rushed or forced? Does Basil and Sunny’s relationship feel too fast or slow? Did Basil actually telling Polly the truth happen too fast? Was the pacing off?
Chapter 18: Beach Episode
Summary:
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Notes:
Beta read by spooky and UdonPuddle.
i forgot to upload this yesterday lol
thanks for 400 kudos
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hello, Mari.” Sunny placed the lily of the valley onto the headstone, then clasped his hands in front of him. The early morning fog made it impossible to see more than four feet in front of him. His eyes felt as heavy as ever. He had slept soundly the previous night (unfortunately without Basil: this time, they kept to their own sides of the room), but it never felt like quite enough. At least he hadn’t had another nightmare.
“I’m… here again. I know it’s been too long. Sorry.” Sunny averted his gaze.
We are talking to a literal gravestone and don’t want to look at it. You’re pathetic.
“I wanted to visit earlier, but I was scared. I… I haven’t really planned any of this out,” Sunny confessed. “I guess I’m visiting you to just… apologize? And see you, and tell you about what’s happened.”
First time independently visiting the grave of the sister you murdered, and you didn’t even think about what you wanted to say to her.
“I started seeing a therapist. Moved away. I mean, I started seeing the therapist after I moved away. I think I’ve been getting better—a little, at least. I-I mean, I managed to come back here…” Mari would celebrate an ‘accomplishment’ like this so much. “I wanted to see the others again, and see you. To say I’m sorry—to everyone. I-I am- I’m so sorry.” Sunny closed his eye and bowed his head. “It’ll… I don’t think anything I do will ever be enough. But I’m trying.”
God knows we’ve been trying.
He opened his eye again. “...I… I hope you’re proud of me. Or that you can be, one day.”
Sighing, Sunny put his hands in his pockets, feeling the burn of the cold steadily ebb away. He closed his eye and listened to the rustling of the leaves in the winter wind. Not a very verbose apology, is it?
“Sunny!” He heard a familiar voice calling out to him from outside the graveyard. Sunny turned to find Basil jogging toward him, waving a little. The boy slowed to a halt a few feet away, not seeming too out-of-breath. Uncertainty colored his face. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He gestured at Mari’s grave.
“No, I finished talking to her. I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note; I didn’t think you’d wake up so early,” Sunny explained, striding up to Basil. The two of them fell in step, walking towards… somewhere. He didn’t know where Basil was leading him.
“It’s alright.” To his credit, Basil seemed genuine. “I was just looking for you because Aubrey called. Apparently, Kel was supposed to tell us yesterday, but Hero planned a trip to the beach!” His small smile faltered. “You don’t have any plans for the next few days, right?”
“No.” He overestimates your plan-making abilities. Severely. Sunny took one hand out of his pocket and grabbed Basil’s, pulling the boy a little closer to him as they walked. Like when they were young, it felt like second nature again. Sunny turned to face his best friend, still on his right side so he could see him with his functioning eye. Light pink dusted Basil’s face.
Must be cold.
…It looked good on him, though.
“When are we supposed to leave?” Sunny continued. It took Basil a second longer than usual to respond, but-
“Ah… uh, we’re supposed to leave in two hours.”
“I see.”
Two hours of hasty and panicked (on both their parts, even if Sunny wasn’t as visual about it) packing later, Basil and Sunny found themselves making their way towards Kel and Hero’s house. Unfortunately, Basil was carrying both his own bag and one of Sunny’s, so he couldn’t hold hands with him. At least Basil had already told Polly what was going on, so they could spend more time on preparations.
The house slowly emerged from the fog, a car parked in the driveway. “Yo! Basil, Sunny!” Kel called, waving at them from in front of the car. Aubrey leaned against it, looking at Kel… fondly (or, at least, less annoyedly than usual) and Hero was already in the driver’s seat, a book propped open on his leg.
“...Where are we supposed to sit?” Basil whispered. Sunny shrugged in response. There were only four seats in the car—they’d probably have the shortest person sit between the two people in the backseat.
Poor Basil.
If Sunny sat there, though, he’d probably bonk his head on the ceiling of the car every time they ran over a ditch. He’d be willing to, but he doubted Basil would let him.
“Usually I’d call shotgun, but why don’t you take it this time? I’ll sit with Aubrey and Basil in the back!” Kel clapped Sunny on the shoulder, walking up to him and Basil as they reached the car. Aubrey smirked a little in the backseat.
“I assume Aubrey isn’t sitting in the middle?” Basil raised an eyebrow tiredly.
“Nope! Sorry, flower boy.” Kel clapped him on the shoulder, too.
Sunny watched Basil’s eyes sweep the entire car—save for the seat where Hero was sitting—before the boy sat himself down next to Aubrey. Kel then sat down next to Basil, squishing him between himself and Aubrey.
Sunny cocked his head at his best friend, silently asking, are you going to be okay?
Basil nodded weakly, already bracing himself for the imminent Kel-Aubrey argument.
“How are you, Sunny?” Hero gave his friend a warm smile as he sat down in the passenger seat. Sunny nodded. A helpful response. “That’s… good to hear?” he said uncertainly, then turned around in his seat. “Does everyone have their seatbelt on?”
As everyone in the back gave a thumbs-up, Hero turned on the car and peeled out of the driveway. “Not exactly good weather for driving,” Hero muttered to himself.
“I dunno. I think it’s cool,” Aubrey said, scratching at her ear.
“Cool weather is not the same thing as good driving weather.”
“It’s not cool weather, though,” Kel piped up. “Cool weather is warm weather, you know? I wanna see the sun!”
Basil sighed, leaning back in his seat as far as he could so Kel and Aubrey could begin their ritualistic bickering without him in the way.
“Kel and Aubrey are still getting along,” Sunny commented quietly.
Hero chuckled. “Yeah. I was worried they’d had another falling out while I was… absent , but they’re as friendly as ever. If you can call it ‘friendly.’”
“More than ever, I think.”
“Why so?” Hero raised an eyebrow.
“Kel and Aubrey have been spending more time together than before. Aubrey has started blushing around Kel, even when not in any embarrassing situations-” although Aubrey might consider being around Kel to be an embarrassment in and of itself. “-and I’ve seen them staring at each other when they think nobody's looking.”
Hero blinked. “You’re saying-”
“Put on ‘Crazy Train’ by Ozzy Osbourne!” Kel shouted from the backseat.
“ Do not fucking put on ‘Crazy Train’ by Ozzy Osbourne! ” Aubrey shouted from the backseat, almost as loud, which was quite a feat.
“Basil likes ‘Crazy Train’ by Ozzy Osbourne,” Kel huffed, putting an arm around the boy’s shoulder. “You do, don’t you?”
“I-it’s alright…” he muttered.
“Oh, don’t you dare drag Basil into this! He hasn’t done anything wrong!” Aubrey pointed a finger at Kel, and their bickering continued.
Hero’s grip tightened around the steering wheel. He took an almost imperceptible breath, exhaled, and then loosened his grip. “Language, Aubrey!” he called to the backseat.
Hero turned to Sunny. “You think Kel’s finally getting a girlfriend?” He didn’t bother keeping his voice down. Nobody would hear except Basil, and, frankly, he probably already knew. The smug little bastard was good at things like that—although Hero likely didn’t know; he and Basil had never been all that close. “Huh. They grow up so fast.”
Sunny took note of the faraway look in his eyes, as though they were in a distant place.
His eyes should probably be on the road.
“You complain about us calling you old, then say things like that,” Sunny replied.
“Oh, shush, just because I’m older than you guys doesn’t mean I’m actually old!” Hero laughed, returning to the present.
Sunny raised an eyebrow. “You’re nineteen.”
“Yes…? That isn’t old at all. I haven’t graduated college, gotten to drink—legally—had more than one girlfriend…” Hero drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as though he’d noticed what he’d just said.
Keep the conversation moving.
“I’ve had zero.” Sunny crossed his arms. The fact he hadn’t interacted with people his age for four years straight likely hadn’t helped.
“With that attitude, that number won’t change,” Hero said sagely.
“Then enlighten me as to how it will,” Sunny replied, uncrossing his arms so he could cross them again.
“Well…” Hero glanced away—even though he’d already been looking at the road rather than Sunny—, not having expected to actually be asked for advice. “I’m, uh, not too good at this, but… hm… do you have anyone you’re interested in?”
“Not really.” Sunny mulled it over. “I liked Aubrey when we were younger, but that passed, and….” He gestured at the backseat, where Aubrey and Kel were still embroiled in a heated argument.
“I mean, you might just not know it,” Hero explained. “I love Mari-” Present tense. “-but I didn’t realize it until we were teenagers. Up till that point, I just thought of her as my best friend.”
Sunny hummed to show he was still listening.
“Like… it’s important you have adequate chemistry with someone,” Hero continued. “You share a few traits with them, you both have positive qualities that can balance out each other’s negative qualities, that kind of thing. You just… get along, I guess. Good friends aren’t always good lovers, but a good lover is a good friend.
“And then it’ll feel obvious in hindsight,” Hero laughed. “How your heart would always beat faster around them, how your face heated up even when you just hugged or held hands. How you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her and how you wanted the rest of your life to start as soon as possible...”
There was that faraway look again. Hero drummed his fingers on the steering wheel—again—as though he’d noticed what he’d just said—again.
Keep the conversation moving.
“...Isn’t that normal for good friends?” Sunny cocked his head at Hero.
Hero snorted, the wistfulness leaving his eyes. “No, Sunny, not really. If you really feel like this around a girl, you definitely want more than to stay friends with her.”
“What if-” Sunny stopped. What if Hero thought he was weird?
You murdered his fucking girlfriend and vanished for more than four years. You think this is what would tip the scales?
Fair.
“...What if you feel like this around a boy?” Sunny folded his hands in his lap.
“Uh…” Hero raised an eyebrow. “Well, Sunny-” he tugged at his collar. “I… you liked Aubrey, right?”
Slowly, Sunny nodded, feeling something pooling in his stomach.
“Okay…” Hero drummed his fingers on the steering wheel again, thinking before continuing, “...who is it that you feel this way towards?”
That’s enough.
Stop.
( Before he says something I don’t like—or you do like- )
“...It was a hypothetical.” Sunny wanted to change the subject, but that’d be too obvious.
Just a hypothetical.
Sure.
“Well, in this hypothetical, you’d be b-” Hero sounded rather baffled right up until Kel cut him off, leaning as far forward in his seat as he could and waving something.
“Yo, Hero! Hero, I just remembered I brought the original soundtrack to The Muppets Take Manhattan! ” It was a disc.
“Do not fucking play the original soundtrack to The Muppets Take Manhattan! ” Aubrey leaned forward alongside Kel.
“Language, Aubrey! And get back in your seats!” Hero immediately forgot about his conversation with Sunny.
( Maybe that’s for the best. )
“What if we just turn on the radio and listen to the first channel that comes on?” Sunny proposed, ignoring how sweaty his palms had become.
“That's a good idea,” Hero replied, relieved. He flicked on the radio and turned it to the maximum volume to drown out Kel and Aubrey’s endless arguing. Basil had taken to covering his ears and closing his eyes.
Sunny glanced over his shoulder at his best friend and snapped his fingers to get his attention. He cocked his head at Basil as if to ask, are you okay? to which he gave Sunny a weak smile and thumbs-up.
“…It was a hypothetical.”
The fog had receded just enough to see the long road ahead, and a radio edit of the hit nineteen-eighty solo single Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne filled the car.
Sunny spent the rest of the car ride thinking, watching the telephone poles and trees blend together like zebra stripes against the slowly thinning fog. By mid-morning, it’d lifted almost completely, and he could see the sun again.
He would miss the fog.
Most of that thinking was spent on how he could handle the Hero and Basil situation. Sunny had said he would, and he intended to make good on that promise, but Basil himself had tried and failed. Part of him worried that this was just how it would stay: Hero despising Basil, and absolutely refusing to rekindle their old friendship.
The obvious route was to just talk to Hero about it, but Basil had tried that and it hadn’t worked. Sunny ran over possibilities involving Kel and Aubrey: something simple, where they just had Hero come over for a seemingly innocuous hangout, then trapped him with Basil and forced the two of them to talk. If it went badly, though, that’d almost certainly be the end of their attempts, and Hero might be angry at the rest of them alongside Basil.
And Basil most likely wouldn’t agree to that, either. Sunny didn’t like the thought of Basil being angry at him—or worse, disappointed in him.
For the moment, Sunny decided to go with the first option. Just talking to Hero about it and hoping he could get somewhere. Hero was probably already aware of how affectionate Sunny was towards Basil, in which case he would also be aware that Sunny would try to get him and Basil to make up. And he would—it was succeeding that was hard.
The snow-covered forests and small towns gave way to larger, red-roofed and white-walled coastal villages dotting hills framed against distant mountains. The sky was streaked by clouds and the Atlantic Ocean came ever closer.
Finally, the car began to slow down as Hero pulled up to a beach house at the end of a gravel road. It was surrounded by small trees, flanked by a sandy beach and turbulent ocean on one side and a small town on another.
In the back, Kel and Aubrey were fast asleep, having run out of energy from their arguing a while ago. Both had draped themselves across Basil and were holding hands on his lap. He himself had taken to dejectedly staring out the window, not having the heart to wake either. His own eyelids were clearly growing heavy.
“Alright, guys, we’re here,” Hero sighed, slumping against his seat as he finally halted the car.
Sunny got out of the car, stretching, while Hero buried his face in his hands before stepping out and walking around to the trunk. He tapped the back of the car with his fist, trying to wake Aubrey and Kel. Neither stirred.
Sunny opened up one of the doors and poked Kel on the cheek once, twice, and then shook him with both hands. Making a noise somewhere between ‘huh’ and ‘eugh’ (heugh?), he finally opened his eyes. Sunny then leaned over Kel to gently pat Basil on the cheek, making sure he wasn’t falling asleep himself.
Basil’s eyelashes fluttered tiredly and he rubbed his eyes before yawning with more force than someone of his size should’ve been capable of. In spite of his own exhaustion, Sunny couldn’t help but smile at the sight.
“Kel, Aubrey, Basil. We need to unpack,” Sunny deadpanned, gesturing at the trunk with his thumb. Hero, still unpacking everyone’s luggage, raised an eyebrow at that last name. “He’s stronger than you’d think.”
“Whatever you say, Sunny.”
A few minutes of complaining and heavy lifting later, the gang had made their way up the wooden stairs of the beach house with their luggage in tow. The living room was the first one once they entered, with oak walls, shelves, and leather couches surrounding a TV. The entire space was brown save for the black television set, maroon sofa, and a single Sweetheart’s Quest For Hearts poster on the wall.
“Doesn’t look too bad-” Hero began, but Kel cut him off.
“Wait, seriously!? Sweetheart? Sweetheart sucks!”
“Sweetheart isn’t that bad…” Hero protested.
“Nah, I’m with Kel on this one.” Aubrey unceremoniously dumped her bag in the hallway leading to the bedrooms, then flopped onto the sofa. She’d packed the lightest of the whole gang.
“Early Sweetheart was peak television and cinema. It’s only the remakes that are terrible.” Sunny began to explore the room, although there wasn’t much to see.
“I always thought Sweetheart was kind of bad, to be honest,” Basil confessed. “Even the first movie felt pretty cliche.”
“Traitor.”
The beach itself wasn’t too crowded—maybe a dozen people visible along the long bank—thanks to the fact that it was the middle of winter. Despite said fact, the sun still beat down on their backs as Sunny, Basil, Kel, Aubrey, and Hero set up an umbrella and blankets. The clouds had receded by midday, around the same time they finished, leaving the sky entirely blue.
Basil and Sunny sat down next to each other on one blanket, Basil quietly explaining a book he’d read, while Aubrey was fiddling with a pack of bubblegum and Hero checked over the instructions for installing the umbrella again.
“Alright…” Kel crossed his arms and leaned against the aforementioned umbrella, steadily pushing it to the side. “...What exactly do we do now?”
“Well, Kel, we should start by fixing that umbrella.” Hero pointed at it.
“Oh, come on, we already spent ages on setting it up. It’s not our fault Kel is an idiot—not like we’ll use it, anyway. Who goes to the beach to sit under an umbrella?” Aubrey waved Hero off, and Basil flushed with embarrassment.
“What should we do, then?” Sunny asked. “If you guys did have a plan, Kel never told us.”
“Yeah, we don’t. Not that he would have even if we did-”
“Hey!”
“I do have a few ideas, though,” Aubrey talked over Kel. “Could do volleyball.”
“Wait, what’s volleyball?” Kel asked. Hero opened his mouth to explain, but Aubrey made sure to talk over him.
“You’ve never seen the scene from Top Gun with all the shirtless guys? That’s volleyball.”
“Oh, that one!” Kel perked up. “Yeah, I remember that scene really well.”
“Of course you do, boyliker.” Aubrey rolled her eyes. “Not exclusively a boyliker, but still.”
Bisexual? Sunny thought to himself. That was the word for this. Something like that.
(He liked the sound of it.)
Sunny looked away from their conversation and back at Basil, who had been watching them curiously. “Is that scene how you got your gay awakening?” He nudged Basil, who jumped a little.
“I… uh…” Basil flushed. “N-no….”
“ 300? ”
“A-also no…”
“ Gladiator? ”
How else could Basil have…?
( No. Absolutely not, you narcissistic fuck. )
“Kel, how did you manage to bring a volleyball without even knowing what volleyball is-” Aubrey began. Sunny had missed the conversation going on right next to them.
“I just thought it looked cool!” Kel defended himself, spinning the ball he’d just retrieved from his bag on one finger. “Hero, do you wanna join us?”
“No. I slept weird last night and my back hurts.”
“Do you want to join them?” Sunny asked Basil, pushing aside his curiosity.
“I guess it’s worth a try.” Basil’s voice quivered a little. Sunny stood up, dusting himself off, and offered Basil his hand, which he took—that was something, at least.
“Do you know how to play volleyball?” Basil asked Sunny nervously. He shrugged in response. “Kel? How exactly do we play?”
The four of them began making their way towards the empty volleyball court, Hero still trying to fix the umbrella behind them.
“No idea!” Kel replied happily. “Aubrey, how do we play volleyball?”
“Uh…” Aubrey looked up, deep in thought. After a moment, she looked over her shoulder and called, “Hero!”
After an in-depth explanation of the workings of volleyball, Aubrey, Basil, Kel, and Sunny found themselves preparing for a game. Basil and Sunny on one team and Aubrey and Kel on the other. Unlike in Top Gun, only Kel was shirtless (and, unlike in Top Gun, Kel, Aubrey, Basil, and Sunny existed; none of them were alive in 1986.); this provided a lucky distraction for Aubrey.
They’re really not subtle about it, are they? Basil thought to himself.
“So, we just… hit it.” Aubrey narrowed her eyes, looking at the ball in her hands like it was going to stab her. The only two people here who would stab anyone were unarmed.
“Yup,” Kel replied. “If you don’t want to, I will.”
“Are you sure letting them serve first gives us the advantage?” Basil whispered to Sunny. He didn’t like suggesting his friends had lied and were not, in fact, generously giving them an early advantage… but this was Kel and Aubrey they were talking about.
Sunny shrugged.
Comforting.
“Alright, you go.” Aubrey rolled her eyes and was about to pass the ball to Kel, who, in one smooth motion, stepped over to her and then snatched it out of her hands before she’d even finished letting go of it.
Kel tossed it into the air, jumped after it, and then hit it over the net. Sunny sprinted towards it despite being further away and being less athletic than Basil, who skidded to a halt to avoid running into him. Sunny squinted, preparing for a split second, and then hit the ball.
Or tried to, because he missed and it landed a few inches away from his arms.
“That’s one point for us! I think.” Kel stroked his chin.
“Hero explained this to us literal minutes ago, Kel.” Aubrey rolled her eyes again, then returned her attention to Sunny and Basil, waiting for them to serve.
“Sorry…” Sunny mumbled, avoiding Basil’s gaze.
“It’s just a game.” He gave his best friend a small grin. “Don’t take it to heart!”
Sunny offered the ball to Basil. “You should serve. You’re more coordinated than me.”
“You haven’t even watched me play yet-”
Sunny blinked at him with his one eye, and Basil swallowed a small lump in his throat. “...I’ll serve,” he said to him, taking the ball and turning before Sunny could see the flicker of guilt crossing his best friend’s face.
He could feel Sunny’s eye lingering on him, as though he wanted to say something, but not in front of Kel and Aubrey.
Basil tossed the ball up into the air—far lower than Kel had—and went for a similarly low arc. Both Aubrey and Kel were comically far from the net, expecting a high arc like the one Kel had just used.
The two of them immediately realized their mistake, and neither even bothered running for the ball as it thudded into the sand. “Okay, that was embarrassing…” Kel muttered.
Sighing, Aubrey picked up the ball. “Hold up, what are we playing towards? Is there a time limit, score limit, or…”
“First to two,” Kel suggested immediately.
Sunny cocked his head, then realized Kel didn’t notice things like that at this distance. “Why two?”
“It’s a funny number!”
Basil didn’t see what was so funny about a number, but Kel would just Kel sometimes. “That’s probably going to be a pretty quick match, isn’t it?”
“Good. I need to piss,” Aubrey said.
“Can’t you just take a break and go now?” Basil asked, baffled.
“No,” Kel and Aubrey replied at the same time.
Basil bit his lip, directing Sunny to move to their far right side of the net. Aubrey had moved for the left, close up, while Kel was on the right, far off.
The ball was in Aubrey’s hands, and then it wasn’t. She had basically chucked it a foot into the air and punched it over the net—it would’ve nailed Basil in the face if he wasn’t so quick to react, turning sideways a little and hitting it over the net again in a medium-sized arc. Aubrey scrambled to get to it in time, hitting it over her head rather messily; the ball was now sailing for the middle of the net.
Sunny nodded at Basil, who sprinted towards the middle, watching the ball approach the ground in slow motion.
Closer.
He dove forwards, sending sand flying into the air around him as he landed.
Closer.
He raised a fist, eyeing the ball-
There.
-and practically uppercut it over the net with more strength than he really thought himself capable of. It moved for the back right, where Kel squinted at the ball and carefully hit it so it’d just barely go over the net. That was the plan, at least, because it would actually just land on Kel and Aubrey’s side.
“That was a terrible hit, Kel-” Aubrey shouted in Kel’s general direction, sprinting towards the far right of the net. She just barely managed to hit it over in time, with Kel skidding to a halt behind her and almost knocking her over.
Sunny, having clearly not expected for her to actually hit it, scrambled to get to it in time. He faced the left, and if he hit it now, would send it out-of-bounds. It was a split-second decision—he looked Basil in the eye, who gave him a tiny nod of affirmation, and Sunny hit it towards him.
Basil was on the far left of the net, where neither Kel nor Aubrey were. One tiny bump over the net was all it took to end the game—a little anticlimactic, maybe, but Basil was just glad it was over.
Aubrey practically collapsed onto the sand, panting. Even Kel had his hands on his knees.
“Nice game.” Sunny blew a stray hair out of his eye, hands on his hips. His breathing was heavy, but face triumphant. The ball rolled into a nearby dune.
“Yeah, only ‘cuz you didn’t spend half of it needing to piss,” Aubrey groaned, shakily getting to her feet.
“I’ll go, too,” Kel yawned, and he and Aubrey began to walk off towards the beach house.
“...That was sudden,” Basil commented.
Sunny simply shrugged in response. “I think Hero wants something from us.”
Basil tensed up, watching Sunny begin to walk over towards the umbrella Hero was waving from under, but followed him after a moment. Hero won’t be mean if Sunny’s with you.
The thought didn’t stop a shudder from traveling down his spine at the memory of Hero’s iron-tight grip on his shoulder when Polly was in the attic, or the words he’d said at Thanksgiving.
“Alright, you four.” Hero clapped his hands together as Basil and Sunny approached. “...Where did Kel and Aubrey go?”
“Bathroom.” Sunny saved Basil the trouble of speaking with Hero, gesturing back at the beach house.
“Okay… weird, considering the public bathrooms at the boardwalk are closer.” Hero looked over at said boardwalk, stretching into the distance. “But sure. Anyways, we have to get back to the beach house anyways. Clouds are pulling in.”
“Oh.” Basil glanced up at the sky, where grey clouds had begun to blot out the sun. He hadn’t even noticed.
“Just finished setting up the umbrella, too,” Hero cursed, kneeling to begin disassembling it. “Let’s get going.”
The three of them began walking back to the beach house, each carrying a blanket or umbrella under their arms—Hero in the lead, Sunny and Basil walking side-by-side behind him. As Hero had predicted, light raindrops began to fall from the sky, hitting Basil on the nose.
Sunny glanced at Basil, who was determinedly looking away from Hero. He opened his mouth, but they’d already reached the house, and Hero had ascended the stairs and was unlocking the door.
Hero closed the door after Basil and Sunny made their way inside, and prepared to call for Kel and Aubrey. Sunny raised a fist. “Wait,” he whispered. “There are two bedrooms, and one bathroom.” He gestured down the hall at the central bedroom, to which the door was open, revealing it was empty.
“And it’s empty in the bathroom,” Basil replied, gesturing at a small gap between the door and doorway that showed it wasn’t entirely closed.
Under normal circumstances, Aubrey and Kel sharing the same room was entirely normal, but it was silent. They should be arguing, but…
Basil and Sunny met each other’s gazes, smirking. “Why are you whispering?” Hero asked quietly. Ignoring him, the two of them slowly walked up to the door of the third bedroom—it was closed, but didn’t have a lock.
Sunny stood on one side of the door, Basil on the other. Basil raised three fingers, lowering one each passing second, while Hero stood behind them, still baffled.
The instant all fingers had been lowered, Sunny opened the door, and he and Basil strode into the bedroom.
Three beds, a few unremarkable shelves and a rug, and Aubrey and Kel kissing on said rug. They were embracing each other, eyes closed, completely unaware of the fact they’d just been walked in on.
Basil pressed on Sunny’s shoulder, silently asking him if he could have this one, and Sunny nodded. Smirk widening, Basil turned back to Kel and Aubrey. “I'd tell you two to get a room, but I see you've already found one.”
Both Kel and Aubrey’s eyes both flew open. They tried to untangle themselves from each other, pulling back, but were so intertwined they tripped over each other’s feet. “I-I stumbled!” Kel yelled. “Into… into Aubrey’s face!”
“No, you stumbled into my fa- oh, that’s what you said.” Aubrey’s accusatory shout floundered towards the end. The two of them scrambled to their feet, two meters apart.
Hero walked up next to Sunny, crossing his arms and sighing. “Come on, Kel, even I was better at hiding the fact I was dating someone than you are—and I was fourteen when I first got together with Mari.”
“That’s not fair! You’re an overachiever…” Kel rubbed his arm, looking away, while Aubrey had taken to literally just facing the opposite direction as everyone else. Basil was (badly) suppressing a giggle, and Sunny had a tiny smile on his face.
If it was anyone other than Hero, Basil would’ve spoken up, because it had still been very obvious he and Mari were dating. Not quite as obvious as Kel and Aubrey, but that bar was so low it was practically underground.
Sunny said something to Kel along the lines of, “You know, the bathroom’s on the other side of the hall…” and Basil leaned against the wall, thinking. As funny as the whole experience had been, he couldn’t deny that a part of him (all of him) was… jealous, in a way. Not of Kel and Aubrey, but more-so what they had.
And thinking back on what he’d just seen, Basil couldn’t help but wish that it had been him and Sunny rather than Kel and Aubrey. He decided to stop and go make tea before anyone noticed his face reddening—with the heater on, he couldn’t blame it on the cold.
Sunny pulled the blanket closer around himself. It was late now, and the only light in the room came from the television—earlier, it’d been playing something about kids on a railroad, but now the Top Gun volleyball scene was on. Kel, Basil, and Aubrey are all probably pretty annoyed they’re missing this.
Kel and Aubrey had both somehow ended up passed out on the floor next to the other sofa, Kel holding a can of Orange Joe. Basil had fallen asleep next to Sunny, resting his head on—ironically—the armrest of the sofa. It’d have been easier to stay warm if Basil were resting his head on Sunny’s shoulder. Beggars couldn’t be choosers, he supposed. At least he and Basil were friends again—best friends.
On Sunny’s right was Hero, the only other one who was still awake.
He seemed rather transfixed with the TV.
Sunny hated to interrupt his boyliker awakening, but this might be the only chance he had to speak with Hero alone for a while. It was a lot weirder to text Hero to hang out alone that it would be with any of his other friends. Plus, Hero was basically technologically illiterate, so he might not even receive the text.
He nudged Hero.
No response. Tom Cruise isn’t even that hot, Sunny thought to himself. Granted, Hero could just be paying attention to Iceman. Blond hair was that hot… in an objective sense.
Obviously.
Sunny nudged Hero again.
“Oh- what’s up, Sunny?” Hero jumped a little, looking down at him.
Sunny realized far too late he probably should’ve come up with a plan. Oh well, he’d winged other things before, and he’d only… lost an eye, almost ended up homeless, pushed-
He really should’ve come up with a plan.
“I wanted to talk to you about… something.” Terrible phrasing, he chastised himself. Hero was already tensing up, albeit subtly. “Not that something . I meant Basil.”
Hero was now tensing up unsubtly. “...What about him?” He glanced around Sunny, at the quietly snoring man himself.
“We can all see it, Hero. Don’t try to hide it.”
“Hide wh-”
“Everyone knows. You still resent him.”
Hero’s fists tightened in his lap. “I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Sunny looked away from Hero for a moment, trying to steel his resolve. You confessed to murdering his girlfriend, but can’t confront him about this? Get a grip. It’s for Basil’s sake.
Although- in the hospital, Sunny had thought Hero was over Mari.
Maybe he was, and the confession had reopened old wounds.
( It’s for Basil’s sake. )
“ Stop lying. It’s okay if you don’t forgive him; just stop avoiding this,” Sunny whispered so as to not wake the others. His eye narrowed and he leaned in closer to Hero, forcing him to lean back. “You should know by now that that doesn’t work.”
“I’m well aware, which is why I’m not avoiding it,” Hero almost hissed, brow furrowed deeply. He pointed accusingly at Sunny, making him lean back now. “You should know that I don’t lie, Sunny.”
He recoiled.
“I forgave him. He was a kid. You were all kids,” Hero continued, lowering his finger as something crossed his face.
Sunny looked down at his shaking hands, trying to think of a way out of this.
“And, speaking of,” Hero continued, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “I need to go to bed.” With that, he stood up, not giving Sunny a chance to react before he walked to his bedroom.
After a moment of sheer confusion, Sunny sighed, resting his head on one hand.
This strategy… wasn’t going to work. He would need to figure something out with Kel and Aubrey to force Hero to stop avoiding what he felt.
…How do children relate to needing to go to bed, anyway?
Notes:
basil didn't cry, let's fucking go 💪💪 bro is /healing/ and also did you all know that i fucking despise volleyball? i hate team sports so much
join the discord, very cool and based people there
I feel like this is another chapter that's just kinda. There. Everything does serve a purpose, but it doesn't feel like there's anything too /special/ about it; this is something I'm hoping to remedy in future, better-planned works. Anyways, how did you feel about the scene at Mari's grave, or the one where Sunny confronts Hero? Those are the two I'm most nervous about. I'm looking forward to the next chapter--hoping that one will be well-received.
Comments mean everything to me.
Chapter 19: The Fire
Summary:
Sunny looks into and away from the fire.
Notes:
Beta read by spooky. CWs at the bottom.
i think i'm actually on time this time woohoo
also, 100k words. more than i've got on any of my original works, although i wrote most of those when i was in elementary/middle school and they didn't feature any gay boys kissing, which explains why the longest novel attempt only got to 33k lol
anyways. 7.5k word chapter................. actually very proud of this one.,,.,...........................
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The next day at the breakfast table, Sunny saw Hero not just avoiding Basil’s gaze, but his, too. He reminded himself Hero would already have ended up being mistrustful of him, considering how close he’d gotten with Basil as of late, but it left an emptiness in his stomach regardless.
Aubrey and Kel surreptitiously glanced over their bowls of cereal, trying to watch Hero and Sunny while being subtle (and failing). Basil didn’t bother; he just looked between the two of them, brow furrowed. “What’s the plan for today?” he asked after a moment, breaking the awkward silence.
“We’re going to the boardwalk. We spent a lot of yesterday together, so we may as well mix it up a little.” Hero shrugged. His tone was controlled and neutral, like he was speaking to a classmate or coworker rather than a friend. “After that, we’ll actually swim, and tonight, we’re gonna make use of that camping gear we packed- wait, you packed yours, right, Kel?”
“Yeah. You only had to remind me three times!”
“Five, actually.”
“Close enough.”
Hero sighed. “...Anyway, that’s the plan for today. Has everyone got it?”
This day was even hotter than the last one. The old plywood planks of the boardwalk were warmed by the merciless sun, forcing everyone to wear sandals (except Kel, for Kel reasons). Everyone disagreed on where to go: Aubrey wanted to check out the rides, while Kel wanted to grab something to eat (despite having had breakfast less than an hour ago), and Hero didn’t seem too hungry, but vehemently disagreed with going on the rollercoaster, so he was with Kel. Neither Basil nor Sunny had a true plan.
In the end, it was decided Aubrey, Kel, and Hero would go to the fairground to check out the rides and then eat (Kel wanted to do it in the reverse order. Nobody agreed). Basil and Sunny would head to the other end of the boardwalk and just sort of… wander around.
And wander around they did. In the distance, a ferris wheel had a rollercoaster looping around it, both surrounded by other, smaller rides. The view was partially obscured by dozens of booths selling all manner of rigged games and overpriced cotton candy.
“Oh, that place looks interesting!” Basil pointed at a clothing store, one of the only multi-story buildings in this area of the boardwalk.
Sunny shrugged as if to say ‘why not?’ and allowed Basil to take the lead. The two of them headed inside, glass doors closing behind them, and looked around. It was a slightly higher-end establishment—rows of shirts, pants, and jackets lined the first floor, and large windows kept the entire store bathed in a warm glow. There were only a few people here at the moment, presumably because nobody except Sunny and Basil would visit a clothing store as the first thing on their vacation.
“So, what kind of clothes do you like these days?” Basil asked conversationally, browsing aimlessly with Sunny. “I saw the earrings and nails, but…”
“My old style, but edgier.” Sunny looked at a rack of black band t-shirts. “So… emo.”
“Oh.” Seems like a pretty natural evolution of who he used to be. At least he’s not wearing that sweater-vest anymore… even though both styles are cute. “Like this?” Basil held up a Metallica t-shirt.
Sunny snickered, and Basil felt his cheeks flush. “Okay, you tried…” Sunny put the shirt back on the rack. “Besides, I think my fashion sense is fine. You, on the other hand-” He pulled at the lime green t-shirt Basil was wearing, with a black swimming turtleneck underneath. “I think this is the first time since I’ve gotten here that you’ve worn anything other than a collared t-shirt or sweater and dress shirt, and it’s still green.”
“I just like the way they look…” Basil rubbed his arm, looking away.
(If Sunny remembered the other reason, he didn’t say.)
“I do, too. They’re cute.” Sunny smirked. A flicker of panic flitted across his expression when he saw Basil’s face reddening, but it disappeared when he realized he wasn’t offended. “...But you should have some more variety in your style.” Fortunately for the both of them, Sunny kept the conversation moving.
“Like what?” Basil pretended to look around the store—he was actually just hoping Sunny wouldn’t notice him getting even more flustered than before.
“Do you have hoodies? Jackets? Anything like that?”
“Well… yeah? I just don’t really wear them.” Basil shifted his weight from side to side.
“Are they green?”
“Yes…” Basil answered slowly.
“Alright, how about one of these?” Sunny pointed at a rack of hoodies. “One… not in green.”
“I don’t think any other colors suit me, though.”
Sunny stroked his chin. “...What about teal?”
“Teal?”
“Yeah. I think teal looks good on you.”
“You’ve never seen me in teal.”
“I’ve imagined it before.”
“You’ve… thought about what color I’d look best in?”
“I mean-” Sunny looked away. “I just thought it’d look good on you.”
Basil laughed. “I’m just messing with you, Sunshine. I think these look pretty nice, actually.” He ran his thumb across the soft fabric of one of the hoodies.
“Sunshine?” Sunny raised an eyebrow. It was a nickname Basil hadn’t used for him since they were twelve. Basil’s eyes widened. Did not mean to let that slip out…
Before he could think of anything to say to mitigate the embarrassment, Sunny smiled softly and continued, “I always liked that nickname.”
“R-really? I thought you were annoyed by it.”
“I would’ve been, if it were anyone but you or Mari.” Sunny’s smile turned wistful. “But if you get to call me Sunshine, then I get to call you Bagel.” …and now it was back to a smirk.
“How did you even hear about that?” Basil whined, ducking away—but not too far—as Sunny ruffled his hair.
“Is that a yes or a no?”
Basil sighed melodramatically. “I suppose it’s a worthwhile exchange.” He didn’t at all mind the nickname, so long as it was coming from Sunny’s mouth. And though Basil would never admit that, he was well aware that Sunny knew.
“Anyway, besides these,” Sunny gestured at the hoodies, “you should probably get something for warmer weather, too. Collared t-shirts don’t count.”
“I’ve got this one, though…” Basil tugged at the fabric of the t-shirt he was wearing right now.
“Just the one?”
Basil’s silence told Sunny all he needed to know. He continued, “Alright, do you have any bands you like?”
“Uh… Surf Cruise… Periphery… Sorority Noise… Megadeth is alright, too.” Basil stroked his chin.
“Hm, not sure how many of those are gonna have their shirts sold here.” Sunny walked around the store, flicking through the racks. “Oh- this isn’t a t-shirt, but I think it’d suit you.”
“What’d suit me-?” Basil felt blood both drain from and rise to his face. “S-Sunny, that’s a crop top.”
“I know.” It was a green cropped t-shirt with floral prints at the edges—far cuter than Basil was willing to admit. “...You like it, don’t you?” The question sounded rhetorical.
It’s definitely rhetorical.
“Um…” Basil looked away, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean, aren’t those kind of… girly?”
“Yes. And?”
As nice as it looked, Basil felt his stomach turn at the idea of wearing it around Sunny. What if he thought he was too fat? Or too skinny? Or- oh, and there were also those scars. The idea of Sunny seeing those made his stomach really turn.
“It’s fine if you don’t want to, though.” Sunny folded up the crop top, shrugging. “The guys at school probably don’t want you to, either.”
“Yeah…” Better to let him think that’s the reason. But- wasn’t Basil supposed to trust Sunny?
…With everything going on for Sunny already, though, Basil would rather put this on him than the scars. Knowing Sunny, he’d definitely blame himself for the latter.
The rest of the day was also spent wandering around the boardwalk, carrying a new teal jacket for Basil. Eventually, they met up with Kel, Aubrey, and Hero, all of them going on the rollercoaster they’d seen earlier: The Washing Machine.
It was an apt name, and they all agreed to never speak of the incident again.
Afterwards, all of them headed for the beach again. This time, though, the sun was beating down on their backs without any clouds forecasted. It was proper swimming weather and they all intended to make use of it.
Kel led everyone to a small, private spot Cris had once told him about, where there were virtually no other visitors. It was a collection of rocky turquoise tidepools: crystal-clear, reflecting the cloudless sky, nestled into warm, golden sands, with the Atlantic Ocean reaching far beyond the horizon. It was out of view of the boardwalk and the areas of the beach that most people frequented, with a stone cliff at its back. Proper swimming weather with a proper swimming spot.
“Man, Cris wasn’t kidding! This place is awesome!” Kel whooped, waving his towel in the air as the others looked around. Basil was glad Cris had told Kel about it—had he known they were going to the beach, he’d have asked Cris if she knew any good spots himself.
“Too warm,” Sunny grumbled, covering his head with his towel. Basil knew from past experiences that his hair would be practically on fire from this kind of exposure to the sun; it was one of very few cons of being noiret.
“It’s alright, you can cool down in the water,” Basil assured him. “I-if you’re okay with swimming, of course!”
“Not gonna join us?” Kel asked jokingly.
“I wanna stay in the sun a little longer-”
“Hurry the fuck up!” Aubrey shouted at the rest of the group, already knee-deep in the ocean. Hero sighed—he now knew better than to try and stop her from cursing—and pulled his shirt off, striding into the water after Aubrey.
“Buff,” Sunny commented to Basil, nodding at Hero. “...Wish that was me.”
“I think you look great already, Sunshine.” Basil meant it; a blush crept into his cheeks as he wondered if he’d been too direct.
Sunny stared at him.
Too direct-
He looked… almost awestruck, his mouth in a perfect circle as he asked, “Really?”
“Yeah!” Basil let out an internal sigh of relief.
Sunny held out one of his arms—he still wore a t-shirt, but his stick-limbs were visible regardless. “My arms have the width and accordant strength of a pencil.”
“I mean, a boy can look cute without being muscular.” He had always found Sunny’s comical lack of strength rather adorable, even if he couldn’t really be considered the baby of the group now that he was taller than Basil.
“Easy for you to say.” Sunny grabbed one of Basil’s arms and rolled up the sleeve of his green t-shirt, revealing his bicep.
“I’ve told you before, I’m not even that strong…” Basil rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the heat rising to his face.
“Yes, you are!” Sunny pouted and Basil struggled not to fall apart right then and there. “I mean… you’re gay. Wouldn’t you prefer boys with muscles?”
“N-no, not really.” He held Sunny’s gaze. The blush on his face had to be visible, though. “Like I said… a boy can look cute without being muscular. I sort of prefer it, honestly.”
“Oh.” Sunny’s shoulders sagged with… disappointment?
No. Relief.
Why…? Is he worried girls won’t like him? That’s silly. There are probably dozens of people at his new school fawning over him who are just too scared to approach.
The thought of any of Sunny’s silent admirers acting on their desires made Basil’s stomach clench. Any of them.
“Alright, do you wanna go swimming?” Basil changed the topic, clapping Sunny on the shoulder. He flinched as Basil snapped him out of his reverie.
Sunny nodded quickly, glancing away in embarrassment and rubbing his arm. Basil strode towards the water, waiting for Sunny to follow behind; for obvious reasons, he kept his shirt on, as did Sunny.
Basil wished Sunny hadn’t—a thought he kept firmly to himself.
“...Wait, Basil, you can’t swim!” Sunny called after a moment, as though he’d still been too distracted to remember that little fact.
Wow, why does everyone seem to forget that? “It’s okay, Sunny!” Basil smirked, calling back to his best friend. A rare bit of pride swelled in his chest.
He felt the waves swishing around his ankles, then his knees, the seafoam brushing up on the hairs on his legs. He’d have shaved them if he’d had the time this morning, or worn long pants so Sunny wouldn’t see-
Get a grip on yourself.
Basil knelt and pushed himself off the sand beneath the water, keeping his head barely above sea level so he could hide as much of his blush as he could. He felt little rocks swirling around his feet and a cold sting on his skin; he’d gotten more used to cool water since he started his swimming lessons at the lake with Cris, though.
Speaking of, he never had told his friends about those, huh?
Basil looked up to the positively petrified faces of Kel, Aubrey, and Hero, who had just turned around to see what was going on behind them. Kel’s eyes were wide as saucers, Aubrey’s expression looked disturbingly neutral, and Hero appeared to have just undergone the five stages of grief in as many seconds. They hadn’t heard him call to Sunny, apparently.
“...How…” Hero trailed off, lowering his arms—he’d been about to swim towards Basil to rescue him from drowning (again).
“I… uh… took some lessons. With Cris.” Basil grinned sheepishly, swimming over to his friends. He looked over his shoulder to find Sunny catching up without issue—he’d gotten over his fear of water, apparently.
“Private swimming lessons? That neither of you ever told us about?” Kel raised an eyebrow.
“I just forgot!” Basil whined. “You know how bad my memory is.”
He noticed Sunny staring down at the water, a shadow over his eyes.
Maybe what he was about to do was entirely egotistical, but…
“What did you think we were doing, anyway? I’m gay, remember?” Basil glanced at his best friend to see his eyes flick wide open again before returning to their usual shape, and he looked up at the rest of his friends again.
That can’t be-
Coincidence.
Just coincidence. It can’t be anything more.
“Oh, yeah, I remembered that! Of course.” Kel smiled in a way that indicated he very much hadn’t remembered that.
“You didn’t remember.” Aubrey smirked.
“You didn’t remember,” Hero sighed.
Sunny raised an eyebrow at Kel. He hadn’t remembered.
They all found themselves sitting around a campfire a few hours later. It had taken multiple drawn-out arguments between Kel and Aubrey, multiple curses under Hero’s breath, and, in general, way longer than it should’ve to set up their tents and fire, but it was worth it. Pink rose up at the horizon, just at the edge of a golden sky, and the sun barely peeked out over the ocean. They had camped on a small cliff overlooking the beach, in a copse surrounded by pine and oak trees.
Basil sat himself down on a large, clean-cut tree stump, panting. The others looked similarly exhausted, all breathing heavily as they took their seats around the fire, continuing their conversation. Sunny had barely done any heavy lifting—not that he hadn’t done anything! Just none of the physically difficult tasks.
And yet your bones still ache. You need to drink more milk, or something.
Aubrey sat on one side of Basil, with Kel next to her and Hero next to Kel, leaving only one seat open—not that it mattered. Sunny strode over to the stump next to Basil, then kept walking right up to Basil himself. There was room for two on his seat, anyway. Probably.
Not that it mattered.
Basil’s eyes flew open and he looked to his right, watching Sunny squeeze in next to him. “Tired,” Sunny murmured. He tried to phrase it in a playful way, as though he was joking and just wanted to be here (and he did), but it wasn’t really a joke.
Sunny then laid his head on Basil’s lap, before he could even get out a flustered “Sunny!” that followed right afterward. He looked up at his best friend, watching pink spread across his cheeks, although most of his attention was focused on his lips as he tried to stammer out a sentence.
They looked so soft…
“Do you want me to leave?” Sunny asked earnestly, cocking his head. If he was too heavy- oh, who was he kidding, there was no way he’d be too heavy.
“N-no! It’s fine; you can stay!” Basil said quickly, features relaxing quicker than Sunny had expected. He placed a hand on Sunny’s head and began to softly stroke his hair, looking down at him with a gentle gaze. By this point, neither was really paying attention to their other friends’ conversation.
Sunny closed his eyes and struggled not to fall asleep. He wasn’t bored—far from it. It just happened to be exceptionally warm and comfortable here. And, as much as he liked seeing Basil flustered, seeing him like this was also nice. Both were cute.
There’s that word again.
…And there you are, ignoring it again-
Sunny blinked. He was glad Basil was getting more confident.
“Oh, the sleepyhead’s name no longer suits him.” Kel clapped his hands together, startling both Sunny and Basil.
“Was never asleep…” Sunny muttered, pressing himself against Basil and trying to avoid the conversation (which he knew nothing about, hence the avoidance). Fortunately, Basil didn’t stop petting him.
“Uh-huh. Sure. Anyway, Kel, you were saying something about the… Soviets?” Aubrey rested her chin on her palm, looking at her boyfriend.
What an odd word to use for Kel in reference to Aubrey. ‘Boyfriend.’ Doubly so considering that their behavior towards each other has hardly changed.
“Dang right I was!” Kel clapped his hands together again. “So, then Stalin and the Backstreet Boys jumped all of us, and we had to fight a Karate tournament with them to win our freedom.”
“Well, then what happened?” Aubrey waved her hand impatiently, trying not to appear invested in Kel’s dream while clearly being.
“Well, you crane-kicked Stalin in the jaw and won the tournament for us.” Kel shrugged anticlimactically.
“Damn…” Aubrey replied, awestruck. “I mean- of course I did. That’s definitely what I’d do if Stalin and the Backstreet Boys jumped us and forced us into a Karate tournament.”
“Heck yeah!” Kel fist-bumped Aubrey. “What sorts of dreams have you had?”
Aubrey blushed. “Um- uh… what about you, Basil?” she stammered.
Basil looked away, also blushing. “I-I haven’t had many dreams lately…”
Well, that’s a lie. Wonder what he’s really been dreaming about.
“Alright then… what about you, Sunny?” Hero asked, stoking the fire. “Have any interesting dreams lately?”
Sunny wrapped his arms around Basil’s waist, resting his head on one of said arms, and thought to himself. He decided to omit the nightmare he’d had after the day at the mall with Basil. “The most recent ones are just chaotic, mostly. But before that…”
Basil looked down at him more intently; he clearly remembered Sunny mentioning how he’d spent his four years of solitude half-awake and dreaming. The others all focused solely on Sunny now, too.
“Those four years I spent in my house… for most of them, I wasn’t awake. At the hospital, I told you I’d repressed the memory, but it was more than just that. I spent as much time as possible asleep.” Sunny thought of where to go next with this. All of his friends stared at him with rapt attention. “I dreamed of the same place every night—I called it Headspace. All of you were there- and Mari.”
Basil looked away from Sunny now, eyes downcast. “It was fun, though,” Sunny continued, trying to keep things moving. “The sky was purple and had all these little spaceships and stars in it. All of us would go on adventures together. We once fought Sweetheart after she broke up with Captain Spaceboy while Hero baked us cookies and Kel flexed dramatically, then drank a coffee before one-shotting her. After that, Captain Spaceboy crashed through the roof and proposed to Sweetheart.” He felt himself smiling.
“After she… what?” Aubrey asked, flabbergasted, and the mood lifted slightly. Small smiles spread across even Basil and Hero’s faces, while Kel was positively beaming.
“You met Captain Spaceboy!? ”
“Yeah. He was sad because Sweetheart had dumped him, even though she was a controlling asshole,” Sunny replied.
“Okay, but-” Hero paused, trying to stop his chuckling to no avail. “Why were you fighting Sweetheart in the first place?”
Sunny nodded up at an amused Basil. “You went… missing, and all of us had to find you.”
“Oh, that’s so nice of you.” Basil gave him another soft smile.
“So, we started by meeting Captain Spaceboy, who led us to Sweetheart, and then we ended up fighting Mr. Jawsum-”
“Jawson? The loan shark?” Kel asked.
“Yeah, but when I was twelve, I thought his name was Jawsum. I made him an actual shark in my dreams; he ran an underwater casino called The Last Resort, built out of a sunken ship, and he hired all of us except Mari and me.” Well, Omori, not you, but that would be too hard to explain. “Without pay, for the rest of your lives. Aubrey answered phones-”
“What the fuck?”
“-Hero was Jawsum’s right hand man, because his presence increased their profits by seven hundred percent…”
“That checks out.” Kel elbowed Hero affectionately, who rubbed his neck bashfully.
“....And Kel was assigned to ‘guard’ the resort, but sent as far away as possible-”
Aubrey practically cackled, and even Basil giggled at that. “Oh, come on!” Kel complained. “I’d make a good security guard!”
“You didn’t,” Sunny snickered. “And Mari just… set up a picnic. In the elevator.”
“...What?” Hero asked. He didn’t seem angry at Sunny talking about Mari, just… flabbergasted at the fact he dreamed about her holding picnics in the elevator of a literal loan shark’s underwater resort.
“That wasn’t the strangest place she had a picnic. All of us would go to her to rest and heal, and she’d teleport around whenever we left the area she was in, so she was always nearby. She didn’t ever get up from the picnic blanket.” He didn’t mention why. “Even after we defeated Jawsum and Pluto-”
“You… fought Pluto? The planet?” Kel asked.
“Pluto isn’t a planet, dumbass.” Aubrey rolled her eyes.
“I thought they were calling it a dwarf planet,” Basil piped up.
“A dwarf planet is large, but not the same as a planet,” Hero corrected. “If it were, Eris would also be a planet.”
“The one from Mister White’s chemistry class? I remember Eris Coleman being a little overweight, but that’s just mean.” Kel raised an eyebrow disapprovingly.
“The dwarf planet, not the person. Actually more massive than Pluto; not larger, though,” Sunny explained.
“How does that even work-” Kel was cut off by Hero.
“Let’s just let Sunny finish his story. I’m interested now.”
Everyone shifted in their seats and lent their attention back to Sunny. “Anyway, then we all got eaten by Hungry Humphrey, and the Slime G-” He practically choked on his own words. “Slime… Guys… were holding experiments there.”
Basil raised an eyebrow at that, and Sunny mentally apologized again for the time Basil had found his sketchbook when they were twelve. “Mari had a picnic right there, inside Humphrey,” Sunny continued awkwardly.
“Wait, let me guess- and then you got shot out of Humphrey’s whale-face-hole like in a cartoon?” Kel asked, and Aubrey giggled unsubtly.
“It’s called a blowhole.” Hero smiled exasperatedly.
“Wait, what the fuck? That’s actually what they call it? That’s even worse…” Aubrey buried her face in her hands.
“Why?” Hero asked, genuinely confused.
“We did escape like that, but first we had to beat up the… Slime Guys… and then beat up Humphrey himself—he was made up of a bunch of miniature Humphreys—before he let us go.”
“Gosh…” Hero laughed, leaning back in his seat. “How does your mind come up with stuff like this, Sunny?”
“I don’t really know.” Sunny looked away sheepishly.
Basil cradled Sunny’s head in his lap, still stroking his hair. Don’t fall asleep now, not when you’ve got a real conversation going with your friends… “I mean, you’ve always been imaginative!” He laughed.
“All that daydreaming had to be spent somewhere, am I right?” Kel made finger guns at Sunny before being elbowed by Aubrey.
Sunny’s stomach turned as he realized he’d have to explain how Headspace adventures came to an end now. The others didn’t need to know about Black Space, so maybe he could just… “Another time, we all traveled to this oasis in a desert made of brown sugar instead of sand. Kel tried eating the sand immediately… ”
By the time night had fully fallen, everyone was tired from laughing and exchanging stories of dreams they remembered. Best of all, Sunny hadn’t had to explain Black Space.
That wasn’t quite true—best of all, Basil hadn’t made Sunny remove his head from his lap.
Even now, as the others went to their respective tents to sleep, the campfire crackled as Basil and Sunny watched it. Shadows danced along the trees, dyed orange by the firelight, and the moon was mirrored perfectly in the endless, inky black ocean. Stars, without the city nearby to hide them with light pollution, covered the entire sky, streaked by the Milky Way.
Despite the cold on his skin—mitigated slightly by a thick, sunflower-patterned blanket Basil had wrapped around both of them—Sunny would rather just sleep here like he’d wanted to all evening.
“...Say, Sunny,” Basil began, still softly petting his hair, “how did that dream adventure you were talking about earlier end?”
Fuck.
“I…” Sunny avoided Basil’s gaze, wondering how to go about this. He could try to say it’d ended before he went to the hospital, which wouldn’t necessarily be untrue, but he’d already borne his soul to Basil after his nightmare. He now knew Sunny feared him—there was a big difference between simply fearing someone as a reminder of your trauma and Black Space, though.
…But Sunny had never liked lying, and especially not to Basil, and especially not after he’d lied about being there for him.
“...Headspace was a cycle. It was almost the exact same thing every adventure, and they always started with you discovering something related to… The Truth… and going missing right afterward.” Basil’s eyes widened, but he didn’t interrupt. “Throughout the journey, Something would appear at the edge of my vision, in corners, behind doors. The others would begin to forget who you were and, after Humphrey, I- well, not necessarily me—a twelve-year-old version of myself called Omori; yes, like the piano—would enter this place called Black Space.”
“What was… what was it like? I-if you don’t mind me asking.”
“It was black.” In spite of himself, Sunny laughed a little. “I never remembered the whole truth, but bits and pieces would come to me whenever I was there. You were there, too.”
He paused to think of how to continue. “You would… thank Omori. For coming to rescue you. But then, you would always try to bring up the truth, and then something would always happen—spiders, closing elevator doors, anything you could imagine—and you would die.”
“Oh.” Basil didn’t show any visible reaction, holding Sunny’s gaze and full attention.
“It wasn’t just that… just that I didn’t want you to talk about the truth.” Sunny wrung his hands in his own lap, struggling to hold Basil’s gaze. “Back then, I- I didn’t hate you. Not fully. But… a part of me did.
“It hated you a lot.”
“That makes sense.” Basil looked down glumly. He stopped stroking Sunny’s hair. “When you said you didn’t hate me… was that the truth? Fully?”
Basil’s eyes already seemed a little glossy, and Sunny could’ve sworn his lip was trembling. You’re going to make him cry, you asshole. How could you?
“Yes. I-” Sunny doubted Basil would believe him if he said he promised. “I swear, upon Mari’s grave, that I don’t hate you. Not anymore.” He reached up to cup Basil’s cheek, getting him to meet his eyes again. “I still had a lot of conflicted feelings in the hospital, but after the fight…”
His eye—or lack thereof—burned in its unused socket.
“I dreamed. You were there again, and we talked.” ‘Talked’ was generous, maybe, considering that Sunny hadn’t verbally responded. “That time, it was really just you, not the idealized version of yourself I usually saw in Headspace. You gave me advice… and I’ve done my best to follow it.”
But… that’s up to you.
“I don’t hate you. I don’t think I could ever truly hate you.” Not even back then, when Omori had told him how much he should. “For a long time, I thought you hated me. ”
“...Why would you think that?” Basil sniffled, caressing Sunny’s cheek as he did the same to Basil’s.
“I don’t think I have to explain that.”
Basil looked away again before returning his gaze to Sunny’s. He opened his mouth, closed it again; opened his eyes, shut them tightly, and then began, “I was upset with you—a lot. I was scared you hated me, and when you came back outside, I thought I was- well, I was right. But even if I felt the same way about myself and even if I deserved it, I still-” he trailed off.
Basil took a deep breath before finishing, “I didn’t hate you, but I hated being alone.”
“I was the reason you were alone.”
Basil’s eyes narrowed for a moment. “I…” he sighed. “Yeah, maybe you were, partially. You did hurt me—a lot.” Sunny’s chest tightened- “But… don’t blame yourself.” Basil gestured at his eyepatch. “A lot of what happened was my fault, too. More of it, in my opinion.”
“I won’t blame myself if you agree to do the same. Like… don’t blame yourself, I mean.”
Basil sighed, and Sunny could’ve sworn he caught an amused tug at his lips. “I’ve been working on that.”
Sunny withdrew his hand from Basil’s face as his arm grew tired, clasping his hands in his own lap. “I just… how could you forgive me? After all I’ve done.”
Basil looked into the fire, deep in thought. “How could I not?” he whispered.
Sunny watched the firelight glance off his golden hair. For a moment, all was still, before Basil murmured, “Get up.”
“...What?” Sunny felt panic run up and down his spine. Had Basil realized he didn’t need him anymore? Did he hate him?
“I mean, get off my lap. I’m not mad at you or anything,” Basil assured him.
Sunny swallowed, lifting his head from its pillow, and watched him.
Basil folded his hands in his lap now. He looked impossibly tired compared to how he’d been just a few minutes prior: sullen eyes watching the flames, mouth set in a firm line. He took a deep breath, then began, “Before I met Aubrey, I’d spent my whole life alone. The only person I had was my grandma, and her health had been failing for as long as I could remember. Even after I met Aubrey, I thought she didn’t really care about me. That she’d leave, too. In my eyes, I was a burden, and nothing more.
“When you and I were alone in your bedroom, that one night… you remember, right?” In one smooth motion, Basil pulled his shirt and turtleneck off and over his head, leaving his torso exposed. He smiled ruefully. “Even if not, you had to have known there was a reason I always wore something over my neck and belly.”
Ah…
In all the chaos of the past few days, Sunny had almost forgotten.
They’d only been friends for a few weeks by the time of that night, but had already singled each other out as mutual favorites. Basil showed up to Sunny’s house for their sleepover looking ready to drop dead—circles under his shimmering eyes, twitchy hands, and with the same scarf he’d been wearing for weeks wrapped around his neck.
Sunny was worried for him. He told him he could tell him anything.
And so he had, and so now he still would.
When Basil had borne his soul to Sunny that night, begged him to promise he wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Mari, he’d confessed that he had hurt himself with his gardening shears one time before wrapping the noose around his neck.
🌻
The scars from both were still visible: a short, thin cut below the sternum, and a discolored red ring around his neck. But there were more. So, so many more.
An extra forty-four, to be exact.
🌻
“Afterward, I swore to myself I’d never try that kind of thing again… and then I met all of you,” Basil continued, looking Sunny directly in the eye. “Everyone was great, of course, but you were special. You were quiet and shy, too. You didn’t like being the center of attention. You loved the photos; I loved taking them. You didn’t just listen to what I said; you listened to me. I loved…
“I loved that about you.” Basil paused, looking back into the fire. “It felt like I had someone who I could say anything to, and so I said everything to you. If you didn’t leave me after all that, it felt like you would never leave me.”
Sunny’s fists clenched in his lap.
Basil took a deep breath before continuing, “Even after everything that happened with Mari… I kept wishing you would come back for me. Even though I felt like I didn’t deserve it. After a few years, I decided I should stay away from you because I would just cause more damage than I already had. So, I stayed alone for those four years; they were the worst of my life, but the one I spent with you was the best. And the memory of one year with you was enough to get me through four years without. It was… unhealthy. I relied on you too much. But, even if I’ve worked to stop being so attached to you, to stop idealizing and idolizing you, you’re still my best friend.”
Sunny’s chest tightened around his heart, squeezing it for all it was worth—and that wasn’t much.
“I really was upset about you leaving me for so long and so often.” Basil smirked and punched Sunny lightly on the shoulder. “But in the end, you didn’t give up on me.” He looked down at the fire one more time before meeting Sunny’s gaze head-on again, smiling softly, eyes shimmering.
“What I’m trying to say—in an overly roundabout way—is that I could never hate you…
“Not when I love you this much.”
Sunny’s heart skipped a beat. He-
Not in… that… way, right?
He couldn’t.
There was… heat in his cheeks. More than there should be. All Basil had said was that he loved him. Men did that all the time; they were best friends, after all.
(Sunny didn’t know if he liked that label anymore.)
Sunny wasn’t angry or ashamed.
( ‘Best friends’ is not enough. )
So just what was this?
( We’ve always known. )
“...N-n-not in that way, I mean!” Basil stammered hurriedly, waving his hands.
“...I see.” Sunny was impressed he could even force out a reply. There was an unnatural warmth, a fire in his face and heart, which was racing faster than it ever had before, as though it were trying to escape from his ribcage.
Basil looked back at the fire, wrapping his arms around his midsection as though he’d just now noticed how cold it was. Sunny wouldn’t have realized. “A-anyway, you have much more reason to hate me. Why don’t you?”
“Hm…” Sunny hummed, stoking the flames so Basil wouldn’t be as cold and ignoring the urge to throw himself into either. He tugged at his collar unsubtly before continuing, “I disagree. There’s more to me not hating you than me just hating myself, though.”
He paused for thought and to gather himself before continuing, “When I was younger, everyone judged me a lot for… being the way I was. Same as you; except with me, they thought I was a school shooter, not gay or a girl or both. Even my own parents thought there was something wrong with me—that I was weird for having trouble with social cues, not wanting to talk much, getting overwhelmed easily.
“But you were different. Or the same. You were the first person besides Mari to not just not judge me—Aubrey, Kel, and Hero already did that—but embrace me for all I was. You didn’t just ignore my flaws, you accepted them. The others did that eventually, too, but you were the first other than her. Like you said, you were like me: quiet, shy… and it sounds terrible, but, at the time, I was glad to have someone relying on me rather than the other way around.
“So, when you came to me about…” Sunny gestured numbly at Basil’s scars, “ this, I didn’t want to break your trust. Not just on principle, but also because I trusted you, too.”
Basil stared into the fire now, expression unreadable.
“...Don’t tell the others about this. Please.” Sunny gripped the opposite sides of his t-shirt and pulled it off, folding it neatly in his lap.
Basil’s eyes flew back to Sunny-
🌻
-along with the dozens of scars lining his abdomen.
His eyes widened and breath hitched. He opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it, choosing to allow him to continue.
“You were—and still are—a good person,” Sunny continued. “You’ve done terrible things, but so have I. So have all of our friends. Kel tried to ignore his problems by busying himself with new hobbies and friends, Hero abandoned everyone else, Aubrey… yeah.” He looked away from Basil and out into the pitch-black forest. “...Even Mari. She pushed me to my limits, and then past them. Even though it didn’t mean she deserved to be murdered, obviously… it still happened.”
Sunny didn’t need to look to feel Basil’s eyes on the back of his head. “...But in the end, all of you had your reasons. Kel, Hero, and Aubrey were consumed by grief and problems at home, Mari just wanted the best for me, and you were already dealing with more than any child could or deserved to. What you did was terrible, selfish, but I understand why you did it.”
Sunny turned to face Basil again, meeting both of his eyes with his one. The boy’s hands shook in his lap and his mouth was still set in a firm line, but he didn’t avert his gaze from Sunny’s. He continued, “Good people do bad things… sometimes, very bad things. But you really are a good person.” Sunny nodded at the scars on his stomach, then reached out and took both of Basil’s hands into his own. “I think that’s why I can trust you again.”
🌻
I think that’s why I can forgive you.
Basil looked down at their interlocked fingers, a small, fragile smile on his face. “...You didn’t murder Mari.”
“...What?” After months of therapy- no, he can’t still believe in Something, right?
Basil met Sunny’s eye. “You killed her. But murder implies intent, and I know that you’d have never intended to do that, no matter how angry you were.”
Now Sunny was avoiding Basil’s gaze. He kept his eyes fixed firmly on the forest.
…It’s still better than him having not recovered from Something, right?
“Please don’t be a hypocrite, Sunny. I know you don’t believe it, but you’re a good person, too. You just said the reason why yourself,” Basil continued, brushing his thumb over Sunny’s knuckles. He placed a finger under his best friend’s chin and forced him to meet his eyes. “...Promise me you’ll forgive yourself, one day. You know it’s what Mari would have wanted.”
We do.
Sunny stared at Basil, forcing himself to maintain eye contact. “I…” He swallowed. “One day, I will. I’ll forgive myself. I promise…”
Even if selfishness had factored into his decision on that day, Basil really did love Sunny, and all of their other friends. Even Aubrey after months of abuse by her, Kel after years of being given the cold shoulder, and Hero after blatant hatred. He loved Sunny enough to notice tiny little things like this and do everything he could to help his friends.
Sunny loved Basil right back. Of course he did—like he’d said, Basil was a good person, and Sunny was privileged to have him as a best friend.
( ‘Best friends’ is not enough. )
The fire still crackled, casting the same shadows over the trees, and made Basil’s already golden hair unbearably bright. He had to squint just looking at him. Doubly so because his teal eyes—sparkling gently wish unshed tears—caught the light, too. At the same time, he couldn’t say he minded. The extra light just made Basil look that much more beautiful.
He really is, isn’t he?
Sunny’s heart hammered in his chest as his mind drifted to places he always and never wanted it to go.
Sunny felt like he shouldn’t be doing this-
( “It’ll feel obvious in hindsight… how your heart would always beat faster around them.” )
-but his eye traveled over Basil. His soft pink lips, that Sunny knew he used chapstick for. His flushed cheeks, that Sunny loved flustering him to see. His smooth skin, that stood in contrast to his rough and calloused palms. His fluffy golden hair, that Sunny would take any excuse to run his hands through. It always smelled like flowers.
Everything little thing about him was just… soft and warm.
( “How you admired every little thing about them.” )
But despite being small, Basil was—Sunny hadn’t noticed it at first due to his concerns lying with the scars—toned more than most of the athletes at their school. It wasn’t just his arms. He wasn’t shredded , sure, but definitely far more muscular than the average teenager.
Sunny admired how well his smooth, skinny hands fit into Basil’s strong, calloused ones, and immediately knew his cheeks had to be scarlet.
( “How your face heated up, even when you just hugged or held hands.” )
Sunny could see the sky in Basil’s eyes.
Cute, pretty, beautiful, adorable. So, so beautiful.
Even before now, Sunny had once thought to himself that he’d like to have Basil carry him.
( “How you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him…” )
Even before now, Sunny had once thought to himself that he was jealous of Basil’s future girlfriend.
( “...and how you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” )
Even before now, Sunny had loved Basil.
Oh.
How did it take you so long to figure that out-
It really shouldn’t have taken that long-
…
I’m in love.
…
“...and I’ll forgive you right now.” Sunny cupped both of Basil’s cheeks, ignoring the voice in his head screaming for him to lean forward and silence his best friend’s-
( Not enough. )
-confused stammering.
Sunny brushed away a lock of Basil’s maddeningly pretty hair, feeling his burning heart hammering against his ribs, yearning for freedom. It felt like all the blood in his body had gone to his face. God, it had to have; otherwise there’d be no reason for his legs to be this weak.
“W-w-why would you-” Basil grabbed onto Sunny’s wrists, eyes shimmering. Even though his grip had no force behind it, the touch felt electric.
This is too much-
“I just explained it, didn’t I?” Sunny smiled. He hoped Basil mistook the red on his face for firelight. He swallowed, glancing away into the forest for a moment before meeting Basil’s eyes again and continuing, “...I idealized you, too, you know. There were two versions of you in Headspace: the cutesy, perfect twelve-year-old version, who almost never made slip-ups, stuttered, or had panic attacks the way you do. And then there was the version of you I remembered from the night of the recital.”
Basil held his gaze, but there was already a tear trailing down his cheek. Sunny wiped it off with a thumb. He continued, “That second version—I called him the Stranger. The whole time, the Stranger would do everything he could to make me see the truth. I tried to keep you in two halves. One I could love, and one I could hate, but I just ended up hating both.
“You thought you could hate Something and love me. We both know this just isn’t how it works.”
Slowly, Basil removed his hands from Sunny’s wrists, placing them around his best friend’s cheeks, too, and Sunny struggled not to melt right then and there.
“...If you want to love someone, you have to love all of them.”
“You gave me advice, and I’ve done my best to follow it.”
Let’s make some new memories together, okay?
Notes:
CW for self-harm scars being shown, starting and ending w/ 🌻. There are two sections featuring them.
basil cried :(((((((((((((( but at least sunny has suddenly and violently realized that he is bisexual
join the discord
very cool and based people there
I'm nervous about this one because I'm so proud of it lol. Hope y'all liked it. The next chapter is the act finale. Did the pining-y scenes feel forced or rushed? Was the dialogue during the campfire scene cheesy or unnatural? Did it feel like all the character arcs and themes and stuff were tied together well at the end? As always, comments are my lifeblood.
Chapter 20: Going, Staying [ACT 2 FINALE]
Summary:
The truth.
Notes:
Chapter beta read by spooky.
ummmmmmmm fuck? hi it's been 212 days
so, the last 7 months have been the worst of my life. things aren't really better now. but i don't think there's anything i can do anymore. it's nice to be writing again, at least. i don't know how long it'll take for me to get to the next chapter or if i'll ever get to it.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunny and Basil couldn’t stay out for much longer, as much as they would’ve liked to. The cold was setting in and it had been a tiring day—not just physically. After a little while of talking about everything and nothing, Basil spoke up.
“Do you wanna head to bed now, Sunshine?” he asked quietly, patting Sunny on the shoulder.
“Mm… okay,” Sunny hummed, holding onto Basil’s arm with both of his own. He could still feel his stomach doing backflips from their talk earlier.
I’m in love.
And it wasn’t just a little childhood crush. Sunny was in love, and had been for a long, long time.
And he wasn’t just in love with anyone. Sunny was in love with Basil. Even thinking his name sent ripples up Sunny’s spine.
You’re hopeless.
Sunny still felt like he was in a haze as he headed to their tent with Basil after putting out the fire. It was cold inside—unsurprisingly—but there was a small electric lantern illuminating the bright green fabric of the tent, along with two sleeping bags: one black, one floral-patterned.
It took Sunny several seconds to notice Basil gently tugging on his sleeve. He gave his best friend a nod to show he was listening, hoping the flush had faded from his face by now.
(With how warm his cheeks felt, there was no way it had.)
“I… uh… can’t help but notice that it’s a bit cold in here. Probably should’ve guessed that it would be, considering the hour, heh…” Basil looked away sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “What I’m trying to say is-”
“I’d prefer it if we used your sleeping bag,” Sunny cut him off, guessing what he was getting at.
“H-huh- oh. I’d be fine with that!” Basil smiled, a dusting of pink still across his cheeks.
That makes sense. He probably finds this embarrassing. You don’t, but embarrassment isn't why you’re blushing right now, is it?
Sunny let Basil crawl into the sleeping bag first, then slipped in after him.
How am I supposed to sleep after all this-
Sunny's violently gay thoughts came to a screeching halt as he felt Basil huddle up to him, wrapping his arms around his midsection and nuzzling his best friend’s chest.
“Good night,” Basil murmured softly into the fabric of Sunny's t-shirt, eyes already closed.
How am I supposed to sleep when he's this distracting?
Sunny rested his head on top of Basil’s, hugging him back, and whispered, “‘Night.” He sighed, still smelling flowers in Basil's hair.
Now, Sunny thought, just what the fuck are you supposed to do?
He was in love with his best friend. He'd already thought about it a few minutes ago, but it made him shiver internally again.
Well, first off and for a multitude of reasons, you can never tell him.
He'd…
It's unlikely he'd hate you, considering he's into boys, too, but… that he’s also into boys. But you’re into girls, aren’t you? What about Aubrey and the… Slime Girls…
Oh. I’m bisexual.
Having a label on it made this feel even more real than before.
So, he wouldn’t hate you for being bi, but what if he believes that you only forgive him because you have a crush? Would he even believe you at all? He cared for you for so long, so deeply, while you did nothing in return. He must’ve felt so alone. You deserve the same now, and you definitely don’t deserve someone as sweet and gentle as Basil. Sunny buried his nose in his best friend’s hair, sighing again. And, that aside… he doesn’t reciprocate.
The thought alone sent Sunny’s stomach into a painful twist.
There’s no way he’d reciprocate. Basil has too good of a taste in boys to fall in love with the likes of me.
What would you do if he did?
But he doesn’t-
( Don’t do this again. )
Sunny thought back to how Basil had spent four years pining after him, covered up a murder- manslaughter for him, and forgave him easily even after all this, all while being openly gay-
What if it were a woman doing this for a man, or vice versa?
Regardless, it still doesn’t mean he’s in love with you. Neither does the constant blushing, hand-holding, cuddling, and…
Sunny put a hand over his eyes, feeling the heat on his face.
Basil doesn’t love me. I have to understand that.
Sunny blinked the sleep from his eyes, feeling his shoulders sag. He squinted against the morning sun—it peeked out above the distant hills, dyeing the dozens of tiny clouds in the sky yellow and casting long shadows across the street as the gang drove down it. This time, Kel was riding shotgun, and Sunny sat in the backseat with Basil on his left and Aubrey on the far left. Even though he was on Basil’s right, Sunny stared out the window, craning his neck so he could see the houses flick by—and more importantly, not see Basil.
Sunny could feel Basil’s eyes on the back of his neck. He could picture the confused, hurt look on his best friend’s face, wondering why he was suddenly being so cold after he’d sleepily begged Basil to stay in bed just a little longer this morning.
Sunny’s fist tightened in his lap. He’s probably upset with you. Just get over yourself and look at him.
Just as Sunny had avoided Mari’s grave, though, it was easier to ignore that which you could never have than to appreciate it regardless.
…You know, if Basil were in love with you, he’d brush aside his feelings so he could be your best friend, even if he didn’t think you reciprocated.
But Sunny wasn’t as good of a person as Basil.
The least I can do is try, right?
That’s what he’d do, anyway.
Sunny forced himself to turn his head and look Basil in both eyes. His best friend was looking down at his own lap, eyebrows upturned and mouth set in a firm frown. He noticed Sunny’s eye on him immediately, and turned to face him, giving him a questioning look. Sunny noticed him digging his nails into his palms. He reached down and gently pried Basil’s hands open so he couldn’t hurt himself anymore, trying to give him a reassuring look.
“Sorry,” Sunny whispered. “I just don’t get to see the sun at this hour very often.”
You make it sound like you could ever get tired of looking at him.
As if.
As painful as it may have been, Sunny survived the next few weeks. He slept across the room from Basil and held hands with him while they walked, met up with Kel and Aubrey as much as he could—although, if Basil couldn’t come, he’d stay with him instead—and did his best not to let the fact that he couldn’t have Basil or the continued silence of Hero get him down.
There was something he could do about the latter, at least.
Christmas was approaching, and everyone would be celebrating at Kel and Hero’s, so they were all doing their holiday shopping together (Polly still had to head back to her family, Sunny’s mother was still busy, and Aubrey’s mother… was Aubrey’s mother). Today, it was at a holiday market in Greater Faraway—all fir and pine trees, rows of ornaments, lights strung up along every booth, and hundreds of shoppers crowding the cobbled streets. A full day trip; at least the decorations provided a contrast against the gloomy skies.
Sunny interlocked his fingers with Basil’s and pulled him a little closer. He himself wasn’t cold, but knew Basil got chilly easily. Next to them, Aubrey and Kel were arguing with Hero in one of the few cases where the two of them actually agreed on something. Unsurprisingly, it was about the choice of movies for Christmas Eve—more specifically, Hero’s choice of movie, which was the most recent Sweetheart movie. Sunny thought it was fine, personally, but didn’t feel like getting involved with the argument for a multitude of reasons.
Hero suddenly raised a finger to quiet Kel and Aubrey and reached into his pocket, pulling out his ringing phone. He kept walking, only offering up a “mhm” or an “uh-huh” every few seconds. He lowered the phone for a moment and turned to the others, whispering, “I have to take this one. I’ll catch up later.”
“We’ll wait!” Kel called after Hero. “There he goes.”
“Coward,” Aubrey muttered. “He knew he was losing the argument. Sunny, what do you think?”
“I don’t.”
“Great choice!” Kel gave him a double thumbs-up, grinning.
Basil giggled quietly, nestling his head in between Sunny’s head and shoulder. “I’m gonna head to the bathroom for a second,” he whispered. Sunny gave his hand a quick squeeze in acknowledgement, then watched him walk away.
He didn’t need to wait for the group to stop. Not that explaining that to him would’ve had any effect.
In the few seconds that Sunny had zoned out, Kel and Aubrey had already managed to spark an argument. Before they could stoke the flames, he said, “On the subject of Hero…”
“Huh?” Aubrey asked, both her and Kel turning to look at Sunny.
“I had an idea on how to sort things out between him and Basil.” Both Aubrey and Kel tensed up at that, but Sunny continued, “I don’t like the idea of tricking either of them, but we may have to. The plan’s simple: bring both of them to one of our houses to cook something for New Year’s Eve—Hero’s great at cooking, obviously, and Basil’s been learning—then everyone else suddenly ends up busy with something, so Basil and Hero have to work together for the day. By the end, if they still haven’t talked, we could just force them to.”
Sunny hated the idea of lying in general, and especially to Basil, but some things just had to be done.
Kel tugged at his collar—more accurately, his tank top’s shoulder strap. Sunny liked the cold but had no idea how Kel managed to wear a tank top in this weather. “I mean… yeah, it does seem a bit dirty, but…”
Aubrey sniffed. “Might be the best shot we have, honestly.”
Sunny nodded in response right as he heard movement from behind. “Nice to see you guys weren’t fighting.” Hero smiled and clapped both Kel and Aubrey on the shoulder, making them jump. “By the way, where’d Basil go?”
Basil, meanwhile, was fighting a panic attack in the bathroom—this time ‘panic attack’ was hyperbole, at least. The past few weeks had been some of Basil’s happiest in years, as painful as they may have been. He slept across the room from Sunny and held hands with him while they walked, met up with Kel and Aubrey as much as he could—although, if Sunny couldn’t come, he’d stay with him instead—and did his best not to let the fact that he couldn’t have Sunny or the continued silence of Hero get him down.
There was something he could do about the former, though, and that terrified him.
That talk at the fire hadn’t left Basil’s mind for more than a minute since it’d happened.
“Not when I love you this much.”
“Not when I love you this much”?
What had he been thinking?
And Sunny hadn’t looked at him with disgust or anger- surprise, to be sure, but… he’d been red-faced with embarrassment, maybe- or something else. And Sunny had looked at him with an adoring, aching fondness that Basil knew he held for Sunny, one that he hadn’t seen from Sunny himself since they were twelve—not for anyone, let alone Basil. And then Sunny forgave him.
All of this—the hand-holding, cuddling, hugging, Sunny’s eye lingering on Basil even when there were far more interesting things to look at—was just getting to be too much. And there was something he could do about it.
Basil had tried to ignore the voice in his head protesting against the other voice in his head. The latter told him familiar things: Sunny wasn’t in love with him, Sunny couldn’t be in love with him, Basil didn’t deserve Sunny- or, more accurately, Sunny didn’t deserve to put up with someone like Basil, even if Basil deserved to be happy. And the former told him that Basil didn’t just deserve to be happy, but that Sunny deserved to know about how Basil really felt, and that Sunny might not have been blushing from just embarrassment.
Basil couldn’t just decide for Sunny what was best for him, not after the last time or the time before that. Sunny deserved to know. Sunny deserved to choose. Except Sunny couldn’t choose if he didn’t know, and Sunny couldn’t know unless Basil told him. Sunny deserved to choose, but Basil would have to let him.
Basil felt something warm rising in his stomach. What it was, he didn’t know.
What Basil did know was that he was now spending the day with Sunny at the park—a day that’d either be the best or one of the worst in his life. Definitely not the worst, at least…
It was a little warmer than usual today. The park wasn’t all snowed in, and there were some flowers and bushes peeking out through the frost; even so, there were very few people around. The birds were silent and bugs were asleep. Overhead, the afternoon sun hung in a cloudless sky, tinted a pastel shade of orange.
“Nice day, huh?” Basil said conversationally.
“Mhm,” Sunny replied, brushing his thumb over Basil’s knuckles—as soon as they’d met up, he’d immediately intertwined his hand with Basil’s. “I think I might’ve dressed too warm.”
He really isn’t making this easy.
“Sunshine, you always dress too warm.” Basil giggled. He’d never understood how his best friend could move so naturally in the cold while dying the second the sun touched his skin.
“Speak for yourself, Bagel. ” Sunny prodded Basil’s shoulder playfully with his free hand. “Do you remember the time that you wore a cardigan to the lake in the middle of summer, and you were still cold?”
Sunny had started using that nickname fairly frequently for him lately.
“Sunny…” Basil whined, pulling away a little—not enough for Sunny to be fully out of reach.
“You like it when I call you that, don’t you?” Sunny smirked, reached out, and pulled Basil into a side hug, ruffling his hair. “Bagel, Bagel, Bagel…”
“You’re so ungrateful.” Basil swatted Sunny’s chest playfully. He knew his face had to be redder than what was healthy, and he hadn’t even gotten to the part where he confessed yet. “I take you out here for a nice day at the park, and even buy you ice cream, and you bully me like this?”
“You haven’t bought me ice cream.”
“Well, I was going to…” Basil nodded at an ice cream truck, smirking.
“A thousand apologies,” Sunny deadpanned, expression not changing in the slightest. “Please forgive me.”
“Fine.” Basil giggled again, ducking under Sunny’s arm. “I can’t stay mad at you, anyway.”
Sunny grinned a little and let Basil lead him to the ice cream truck. A bald, bespectacled middle-aged man in a suit and a younger man in a hoodie and beanie were ordering in front of them.
“I’ll pay,” Sunny said, reaching into his pocket.
“That defeats the purpose of me buying ice cream for you.”
“Don’t care.” That got another giggle from Basil. Sunny had no idea what was so funny about this, but he liked hearing Basil laugh. Loved, Sunny thought, but absolutely did not say.
“So convincing~”
The men in the suit and hoodie walked off, talking about math or something along those lines, and Basil and Sunny moved up. “Strawberry, please,” Basil said.
“Uh… lemon.” Sunny had expected Basil to take longer than that. After a few moments both of them were handed their respective cones of ice cream, and Sunny handed the attendant far more money than the things were probably worth. The two of them kept walking along the path to the lake. “Thanks for this, by the way.”
“I have a lot to make up for.”
Basil glanced at Sunny, unsure of how to respond. He was looking away now. “I…” Not like I can convince him otherwise. “Fine, but so do I. Next time it’s on me.” He lightly punched Sunny on the shoulder.
“...Alright. I don’t suppose I can change your mind on that, anyway,” Sunny said after a moment, then intertwined his hand with Basil’s and looked over at him again. Sunny had already finished his ice cream and was now studying Basil’s lips intently.
Basil raised an eyebrow at that, and Sunny seemed to rip his gaze away. “You want it?” He offered the cone to him.
“N-no, it’s fine.” Sunny hurriedly pointed at the gap in the bushes where the path led out into the lake. “Look.”
“I see it, Sunny.” Basil laughed. That was odd. But the lake had caught his attention now, the sun stretched and folded across the surface and its ripples, even prettier than usual. The sun seemed to perch upon the statue in the middle.
After finishing his cone, Basil sat down on the picnic blanket and licked the ice cream from his fingers. “So, what did you wanna do here?” he asked. Sunny was still standing up, looking around at the bushes and flowers ringing the hideout. He’d asked Basil out but hadn’t actually told him the plan—that was assuming there was a plan.
Sunny brushed his fingers against a gardenia, flicking through the petals like the pages of a book. “I was hoping we could make flower crowns. Or that I could try to make flower crowns.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.
Basil smiled and stood up, walking over to his best friend. “Oh, it’s not as hard as it looks! You just need to give it a shot.”
“Last time we did this, I couldn’t even get a single flower tied in.”
“Wait, when was that?” Basil put a finger to his chin, trying to remember.
“April 21st, 2009.”
“Oh, yeah.” Basil felt his heart tighten a little at the memory. It was a little… tainted now, after all that’d happened. He found it in him to smirk at Sunny, though, and continued, “if your memory’s so good, you should remember that that was also my first time making a flower crown, not just yours.”
Sunny flushed. “You were born for it. You’re even named Basil.”
“And you barely even tried!” Basil gently flicked him on the shoulder. “C’mon, if it’s hard for you, I’ll help.”
After a moment, Sunny nodded, and Basil hooked his arm under the handle of the picnic basket, clutching it tightly against his body. “Now, let’s gather some flowers, and we can get started.”
A few minutes later, the two of them were on the picnic blanket again, leaning on each other’s shoulders. Basil held up a thin, firm red string that the flowers would be bound to while Sunny watched intently. “It’s like braiding hair, really,” he said as he wove the stem of the first gardenia around the string. Gardenia: purity and gentleness; secret love. “I should teach you to do that, too. We can practice with Aubrey’s hair—it’s really fun, trust me.”
“Mhm,” Sunny replied, looking down at his own string. He pressed the stem of his daisy against the string, but hesitated. Daisy: purity; innocence; new beginnings.
Back then, he’d just been hyperactive and got bored easily, but now it was… different. He was different. Basil wasn’t just his best friend anymore, but his first love. How could he hope to return to their old, easy-going relationship when he felt… like this?
You always have.
“You just need to try,” Basil said gently, putting his hands on top of Sunny’s and helping him intertwine the stem with the string. “That’s all you have to do.”
Sunny felt his face heat up—his whole body, for that matter—but kept still as Basil helped him.
“You know,” Basil continued. “I was pretty bad at it at first, too.”
Sunny raised an eyebrow at that.
“It was so much harder than Mari made it look,” he laughed. “I kept trying to brute force it. Holding the stems in place with tape. That didn’t work, obviously, but I wasn’t sure how else you were supposed to do it. Nobody had ever shown me how. Eventually, I realized it was going nowhere, and summoned the courage to ask Mari for help. Then I actually learned how to make a flower crown.”
Basil tied off the ends of the daisy and released Sunny’s hands. They felt colder without his presence. “And now you have to finish yours.” Basil winked.
Sunny smiled and began to weave.
The two worked in silence. It took longer than Sunny would’ve liked, and more effort, but most things did. These days especially. He occasionally glanced at Basil, who was doing much better—Sunny tried to remind himself he’d had more practice—to see what he was putting into his crown. Mainly gardenias, verbenas ( healing; happiness ), daisies, white tulips, and lilies of the valley.
Basil was biting his lip, but out of concentration rather than anxiety for once, fully absorbed by his work. Sunny smiled to himself. It felt strange to actually know the meanings of each flower his best friend was using. Basil had info-dumped to him about hundreds of plants, but not all of them, so there were many gaps in his knowledge—or there had been until recently, when he’d secretly taken up floriography. He hoped he could use it to impress Basil. He wasn’t sure how, but he hoped.
“Alright, I think I’m done.” Basil held up his crown, examining it against the sinking sun. It was perfect, as far as Sunny could tell, with a dozen different colors blooming out of the string. “How does it look, Sunshine?”
“Perfect.” Sunny smiled and rested his head on Basil’s shoulder.
“You really think so?” Basil asked anxiously, frowning. Sunny nodded. “Alright… good, because it’s yours now.”
“Wait, really?” Sunny’s eye widened.
“Yes,” Basil laughed. “I made it for you. And before you say it, you don’t have to give me yours.”
“I was going to anyway,” Sunny huffed, and that coaxed another beautiful laugh from Basil. He delicately took the crown into his hands. If it was made for him, why were there gardenias? Daisies? The daisies were probably just there as a show of love from Basil. But the gardenias?
Sunny’s breath hitched.
No.
Absolutely not.
Thoughts of asking Basil about it flashed through Sunny’s mind, alongside a thousand other dreams and nightmares about what might happen afterward, but he shoved them out as quickly as they arrived. “Thank you,” Sunny said breathlessly. It rustled as he placed it on his head.
Purity and gentleness. Not just secret love. It just means he thinks you’re pure and gentle. He’s wrong, but it’s cute that he thinks that, at least, right? Right?
Sunny tried to drag his mind back to his own crown. He’d done his best to put in as much effort as Basil, but the results were, unsurprisingly, not as fruitful. Daisies, lilies of the valley, daffodils ( strength; survival ), and some others. Basil didn’t know he knew the meanings, of course, but Sunny hoped he’d appreciate them regardless. You could give him half a jar of dirt and an empty rifle you just used to murder four people and he’d still appreciate it.
After a few minutes of Basil just watching Sunny work, he finished and placed it on his best friend’s head. He rubbed one of his sidetails between two fingers, looking away. “H-how do I look?”
“Adorable.” Sunny pinched Basil’s cheek, getting a small squeak out of him. He wished he could’ve kissed it instead.
He’d let you. You know he would.
Basil had spent the last hour preparing for this moment. No, that wasn’t right. The last four weeks? The last five years?
Basil still remembered when he’d finally realized he was in love. It had felt so… small. Not insignificant, but innocent. Simple. Like it was just a fact, like the sun rising every day and setting every night. That was still true. No matter what, it’d always be there.
There was no grand epiphany. They’d been right here—Mari, Kel, Aubrey, and Hero were all swimming, but Sunny was sitting with Basil, even though he hadn’t undergone the near-drowning incident yet, and yet another flower rant filled the silence. This time it was daffodils.
“Because they’re yellow daffodils, these ones symolize strength and survival-” Basil paused. “W-wait, I think I’ve already told you about these.” He felt his face heat up and stomach twist. He looked around the clearing, but he’d already gone over all the other flowers there. “Uh…”
Sunny nodded. “Keep going.”
Basil glanced at him, eyes widening. “No, y-you can go swim with the others, if you want-”
“I don’t,” Sunny cut in. After a moment, he added, “I like hearing your voice. And I like seeing you happy.”
That got Basil’s face to heat up even more, somehow. “...Why?”
…And now I look even stupider, somehow.
Sunny cocked his head at Basil. “We’re best friends.”
“We are?” Before Sunny’s face could fall, Basil continued, “I-I mean, I’d like to be your best friend, I just- I just didn’t realize you thought of me that way-”
Sunny blinked. “Then we are.”
Basil let out his breath. “Okay… um, cool!” He couldn’t quite fathom why Sunny would consider him of all people his best friend, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t grateful. And he likes my voice…
Why did that make him feel so warm?
Basil continued on and on about the daffodils, letting Sunny’s head rest in his lap. Somewhere along the line, white tulips crept into his thoughts, and he realized nobody else made him feel this way, because there was no one else like Sunny. If he could spend the rest of his life with Sunny—live together, sleep together, eat together, die together—then maybe life wouldn’t be so bad. The adults told him that was love.
So, Basil was in love.
In the present, Sunny adjusted the flower crown on his own head. “...You know, you never did tell me who your first crush was.”
“Huh? Oh, at the beach.” Basil snapped out of his reverie. “You first.”
“You already know. Aubrey, because I thought she was cute.”
“O-oh, yeah…” Basil looked away, pulling at his collar. Here you are. It’s time.
“So, yours?” Sunny cocked his head at Basil, a faint dusting of red on his cheeks.
Finish it.
“I…”
Basil’s heart hammered in his chest. Say it. Say something, at least.
“I think… it’d be easier if I showed you.”
Sunny's lips were soft and dry and chapped and bitter and salty with sweat from spending the day working and God , they were better than any dream or nightmare Basil's screwed-up mind could ever produce.
Basil slowly pulled back. Sunny’s eye was wider than he’d ever seen it, and he’d spent a lot of time looking throughout his life. Forcing himself to keep meeting it, he whispered, “it’s always been you. You know why.”
Basil’s fists tightened in his lap. He continued, “I know… I know you probably don’t feel the same way. But I thought you deserved to know.”
Sunny kept staring at him.
Deserved to know. Deserved to know that you hung his sister and ruined his life because you had a crush?
It wasn’t just a crush.
Because you had an obsession?
What have you done?
“I’m sorry.” Basil finally looked away. “I sh-shouldn’t have done that. I’d…” He pressed his hand against his chest, bunching up his shirt and clutching his heart. “I’d still like to be friends. I’m sorry.”
You’re crying. Again.
How many chances has he given you?
He let you in, no matter how pathetic you were. Then you hung his sister. He came back outside, trying to heal. Then you removed his eye. He came back to Faraway, spent so much time trying to build up his relationships with everyone, even you.
Now you have to tear it down again.
Sunny kept staring at him.
Basil stifled a sob. “I’ll go now-” He tried to turn away, to get up, to run away and pull a page out of Sunny’s book.
But Sunny had grabbed his collar and pulled him back. With one smooth motion, their lips met again.
Moments- minutes? ago, it’d been a quick peck. But Basil wasn’t sure how long this one lasted. Too short, for certain, but he… didn’t care. For as long as it did last, Basil closed his eyes, listening to the faint buzzing of dragonflies and rippling of the water, the gentle flow of the wind and the rustling of the trees. Sunny placed his hands on Basil’s waist to pull him closer, and Basil rested his hands on Sunny’s shoulders, humming softly.
When Sunny pulled back, there was a gentle smile across his face. “You said you were here for me. So… stay.”
Basil and Sunny stayed.
Notes:
you know how to get to the discord
i hope that was worth the wait. i kinda wish i'd placed the confession in the previous chapter, but that isn't something that can just be edited in. ah well. thanks for reading.
Chapter 21: Promise?
Summary:
Sunny doesn't intend to lie anymore.
Notes:
i got no excuse anymore. life gets even worse. i keep writing. i'll finish this, someday, although i find myself fixated with dungeon meshi a lot more than omori nowadays
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunny pushed Basil down, fingers tangled in the hair on the back of his head, and pulled back from their kiss only for air. “I didn’t actually…” Basil gasped and laughed with the same breath. “I didn’t actually think you’d love me back- ”
“How could anybody not love you?”
Not allowing Basil to answer that because he already knew and very much disagreed with what he would say, Sunny kissed him again, the hand not in his best friend’s hair now cupping his cheek. Sunny smiled against Basil’s lips—the boy didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands, so they wandered around his shoulders, waist, and collar, anything to hold the two of them together. They stayed like that for a few minutes, or maybe a few hours, occasionally stopping to breathe. The buzz of the dragonflies and gentle rippling of the lake, perfectly mirroring the pink evening sky, was the only sound other than the occasional shift of fabric or whine from Basil whenever Sunny pulled back. The scent of summer storms—future petrichor—hung thick and heavy in the air.
Finally, Basil separated himself from Sunny so he could bury his face in his shoulder, his own shoulders heaving. Sunny allowed him to sit up and crawl into his lap, wrapping his arms around him and stroking his hair.
“Huh…” Basil panted, still laughing. “You… really do like me.”
“I love you,” Sunny replied without missing a beat. “I mean, I like you, too.”
“You've made that… hah… pretty clear.” Basil nuzzled Sunny's neck, still smiling, then stopped.
“What's wrong?” Sunny kissed Basil's ear and his best friend shivered in his lap.
“Ah… isn’t this…” Basil paused again. “I just thought—Mari wouldn't want this, would she?”
“...Want what?”
“I'm not sure.”
“She wouldn't want you to be happy?”
“Not with you.”
“Why not?” This again, Basil? It was what anyone would come to expect after being with Basil for a minute and Sunny had been with him for years (although he had only been with him for a few minutes, come to think of it), but it still hurt. He wasn’t disappointed, just hurt, in the same way that it hurt when you walked through the bad part of an otherwise picturesque neighborhood. You could hope that the city would put more money into it, try to help the people living there by improving the roads and building stores or playgrounds or safe injection clinics, but it still hurt, and it always would every time you passed through it.
“You know why.” Basil shrugged lamely, head still buried in Sunny's shoulder. “Everything.”
“She’d understand ‘why’. It was wrong and we all know it, but she’d still understand why you did it, and that you’re a different person now.”
“I…” Again Basil stopped, then started again. “...Do you…” he sighed, taking a deep breath before continuing, “do you remember how angry she was on the night of the recital? If that was over a broken violin, then me-”
“She was angry.” Sunny gripped the back of Basil’s shirt, closing his eye. “It happens in the heat of the moment. I mean, look at me.”
“S-sorry,” Basil whispered. “She would forgive you, of course, but…”
After his voice trailed off, Sunny replied, “How do you know that?”
“I… I’m sorry. Yeah, you’re… you’re right.” A pause. “What do you think she’d say if she could see us now?”
“I don’t know. I never will. If she could forgive me, though, she’d forgive you, too.”
“Why?”
“You love me as much as she did. That’s why she’d understand, I think.”
Basil almost seemed satisfied with that answer. He wasn’t, of course—maybe one day he would be. Maybe one day the city would get off its ass and spend its money on something other than a new stadium for the high school. Maybe one day he would learn to be satisfied with the love of the living rather than questioning the love of the dead.
Until then, Sunny still lived in this neighborhood. Here.
“...Alright,” Basil whispered, snapping Sunny out of thoughts he had probably spent far too long in. Alright.
Well, what now?
Apparently, Sunny’s mother also lived ‘here’, wherever ‘here’ was, and answered his mental question by stumbling through the bushes, sticks and leaves clinging to her like very misshapen porcupine quills. The brown pantsuit she wore did little to dispel the erethizontine image.
Akane Suzuki stood at six foot one. Six foot three in heels, which was why she had never worn them when he was still around. She wore her hair—inky black in a way that both completely absorbed and perfectly mirrored light—in a bun that managed to be tight at the back but leave bangs at the front, a style she’d favored for years now and one Sunny had been meaning to compliment her on for years as well, though speaking didn’t come as naturally to him around her as it did around his friends.
Right now, she stared at Basil, expression blank. Sunny dared to hope she was just in shock or something, not angry, but this time he was disappointed—one black eye twitched and she raised a shaking index finger toward Basil, expression still unchanged.
Basil. Miraculously, he hadn’t yet begun to shake, but he stared right back at Akane, mouth hanging open a little. Sunny wondered how his own face looked. Probably quite stupid. That wasn’t anything new.
“You…” Akane croaked. “You’re… get off of him.” She said it in such a normal, monotone, ‘get me a coffee—two sugars, no cream—and that memo by five’ fax machine fluorescent hum-buzz sort of way that it took Sunny a solid two seconds to even realize what she had actually said. “...Get off of him! ”
There came the banshee screeching. The last time Sunny had heard it was during one of their many Basil-related arguments before he had decided to stop being a pussy and just up and visit the man himself. Enough of the ‘he’s dangerous’ and ‘it was all his fault’—Sunny would go to Faraway and prove that Basil wasn’t dangerous and also listen to Basil explain how Sunny’s mother was completely right about him.
Basil wasn’t used to the banshee screeching, of course, and he flinched.
“You’re here early,” Sunny remarked. Quite stupidly.
“What- yes, sweetheart, I am. I convinced Steve from HR to let me off a day early to travel here. Had to blackmail him with those images of him and Barney the Dinosaur-” Akane squeezed her eyes shut as if scrubbing the mental image off the insides of her eyelids. “Besides the point. Besides the point… what are you doing?”
Basil’s grip tightened on Sunny’s shoulders, even though he still stared at Akane. Sunny’s grip tightened on Basil’s waist. Surprisingly slim, considering his toned arms. Cute.
“I’m…” Okay. Think this one through. “...Kissing… my boyfriend…”
Fuck. Maybe telling the truth wasn’t always the best course of action. He could at least try to mimic a normal human tone—in fairness, Akane also spoke in monotone. Like mother, like son, hopefully minus the spousal abuse. Did it count as abuse if they had beaten each other half to death and staged a suicide before dating?
“Your- what? ” Akane did a one-eighty, fingers rubbing circles into her forehead and taking deep breaths before whipping around again, face now scrunched up in barely-concealed fury. “Please… step away from him.”
“Which one of us are you talking to?” Sunny asked. Quite stupidly. Was that really his fault this time? How was he supposed to just know these things?
“Both of you. Either of you. No, both of you.” Akane shook her head, closing her eyes again. “Fucking Christ…” she whispered, then opened one to make sure neither of the boys had heard.
“Uh… I-I-I’m not… trying to hurt him, Mrs.- Ms. Suzuki,” Basil stammered. His grip tightened further, now painfully, on Sunny’s shoulders.
“That’s probably what you- God in Heaven, why am I even bothering with you? Sunny, he stabbed you.”
“Basil isn’t a threat.”
“He stabbed you. In the face.”
“I had to stop him from stabbing himself.” Sunny shrugged. “An eye was a pretty good price, honestly. I barely even used that one.”
“He’s still a threat to someone, even in that case.”
“By that logic, so am I.”
“Well…” Akane paused and buried her face in her palms. She did another one-eighty, let out a muffled scream in the general direction of the bushes, and turned back to them again. “...Really, Sunny? Just- why?”
“I like him.” Sunny cast a side-eyed glance at Basil again. The poor thing was shaking in his grip, lips pursed, but didn’t look to be on the verge of a heart attack. Not bad by their standards.
“Yes, obviously, but why? He’s… again, he stabbed you in the face when you were trying to help him.”
This is pointless.
“Perhaps terrible taste in men runs in the family.” Akane blinked at him. When Sunny glanced at Basil again, he blinked at him, too. After another all-too-long moment of silence, Sunny continued, “At least I can’t reproduce with him,” and jerked his chin at Basil, thinking that it probably couldn’t hurt to try. If Basil was comfortable with it, obviously.
All was quiet for another few moments and/or hours before Akane, not even bothering to sigh this time, took a seat on a nearby tree stump, pinching the bridge of her nose and letting out an impressively long sigh. “...I just don’t know what’s best for you, Sunny.”
“Well… you wanted him to see his friends again, right?” Basil began slowly.
“I meant his actual friends. Not you. ” Under her breath, she muttered, “Why am I still bothering?”
Before Sunny could jump in to his defense yet again, Basil replied, “M-my therapist said it’s good to build up a support network of people who understand you!” and tried to look chipper. The obviously forced nature of his smile made it no less cute.
“I kind of doubt this is what your… therapist meant.” Still under her breath, she continued, “You fucking amoeba.”
“We’re both obviously capable of supporting ourselves and each other, making this, by definition, a support network,” Sunny butted in.
“I-” Akane pinched the bridge of her nose again. “This is absurd. ” God, Mom, can you stop emphasizing words? “Do you- I hate to pull this card, but do you think Mari would want this?”
“She would want me to be happy.”
“And are you really-”
“Does it look like I’m not?” Sunny cut her off, squeezing Basil tighter and coaxing a small yelp out of him. He realized his boyfriend was still on his lap and had been for this entire conversation.
“Not really, being perfectly honest, but I know that doesn’t mean much.” Akane sighed. “This just isn’t… I doubt Mari would be all for this, either.”
“I think she would be. What we think she would think doesn’t matter, though.”
“How could it not matter?”
“She’s dead.” It was as though someone had dunked the entire conversation plus its participants into a bucket of ice water. Undeterred (externally, at least), Sunny continued, “You’re using her name because this is what you want, not what she would want.”
“Fine!” Akane threw up her hands. “Fine! I know. I’m a terrible mother. I’m not- I’m not saying it to guilt trip you, I am, and bringing up her was …. ” She swallowed. “But at this rate, with this specimen, you’ll probably end up the same way as her!”
“No.” Sunny barely heard himself say it—then realized that he hadn’t. He glanced at Basil to find him still staring at Akane, but now almost defiantly. “No, he won’t, and neither will I. If we didn’t kill each other on his last night in Faraway, then we never will.”
“Of all people, why should I take your word for it?”
“It’s never going to get that bad again.”
“Because you won’t let it?” Akane scoffed and Sunny felt a sudden urge to hit something.
“Because he won’t let it.” Basil jerked his chin at Sunny. “Because Kel won’t let it. Neither Aubrey, H-Hero, or the Hooligans will let it.”
“You sent me back here to find my friends again.” Sunny cut into the conversation again, casting Basil an apologetic glance as he snapped out of his sudden speech, eyes widening as though exiting a trance. “I found them.”
Akane slumped in her ‘seat’. Her eyes fell shut again. “...Sunny, I just want you to be safe.”
“I understand, Mom. And I am safe.”
There had already been so many apologies, hugs, and ‘we’ll try to make it work’-s with his old friends that a few with his mother passed quickly for Sunny. Compared to the moments between him making his tasteless joke about Akane’s taste in men and the continuation of their conversation, it went by in an instant.
“And you.” Akane turned from Sunny to Basil, narrowing her eyes as she met his. He flinched away and, privately, Sunny couldn't help but think that he had no right to, considering that his eyes were significantly more intimidating than Akane's. Of course, his mother had never stabbed him in the face. “I'll give you another chance, for Taiyo's sake.” She nodded at Sunny. How many years had it been since she'd used that name? “If you ever hurt him again, though, please remember that I know what you did. Sunny might not like it, but if I have to see you locked up—again, for his sake—I will.”
Basil swallowed. “Y-yes, ma'am, of course, ma'am.”
Sunny placed a gentle hand on Basil’s shoulder and considered asking Akane to be nicer to the poor thing.
“I never apologized to you personally,” Basil continued, staring at his shoes. “For what I did to Mari. And Sunny. And-”
At a certain point, though- Basil had hung her only daughter. Mutilated her only son. Was partially responsible for her husband running for the hills.
“Don't do it now,” Akane snarled. “You're a few years and months late for that.”
How much could you ask of one woman?
And then she was on her way to the Darwishes to ask to stay the night, and then Sunny and Basil were on their way back to Polly’s, hand-in-hand, step-for-step. The sun peeked over the horizon like a man searching the simile-shelf for his last unused simile, stippling the black pavement of the road yellow, drenching the bare trees in it. The birds slept and the air smelled of nothing in particular other than Basil, who had finally begun to relax when not in Akane's presence. Had Basil’s hand always been this warm?
Sunny broke the silence first. “What do you want to do now?”
“I’m fine with anything, so long as it’s with you,” Basil chirped.
The silence came back for a few seconds before Sunny found the courage to ask, “You got more confident.”
“I realized I could be a good… person for you. If you let me.” Basil frowned, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear. “We're better now, so much better, and you seemed very willing to let me, so I…”
“Yeah.” Sunny fought the urge to chuckle. It seemed cruel, but sometimes, the absurd, delusional heights Basil's self-hatred could reach were a little endearing. “I am letting you, yeah.”
Just to reassure him even more, Sunny drew his thumb over Basil's, and they walked the rest of the way home like that. Polly greeted them at the door. The smell of pie wafted out from behind her alongside the yellow light coming from the kitchen. Leaning on the doorframe with one forearm and smiling down at them, she asked, “What's got you two in such a good mood?”
The two glanced at each other, then at her, but didn't answer. Not verbally, at least.
“Alright, keep your secrets.” Polly raised an eyebrow and stood aside to let them pass. “Dinner'll be ready soon. Just keep yourselves busy ‘till then, ‘kay? After that I'll be headed back to my folks, so you just… keep each other company tonight, I guess.”
They could do both of those things, of course. Before Polly had even returned to the kitchen, the two of them had snuggled up shoulder-to-shoulder on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around the both of them, hands still linked beneath it. Time moved slower there. Sunny half-watched the movie playing on the TV, but most of his attention remained fixed on Basil, lashes fluttering sleepily as he cast sidelong looks at Sunny. He brushed a thumb over Basil’s knuckle and, after glancing at the kitchen to make sure Polly was still busy with the pie, pressed a quick peck to his boyfriend's cheek, coaxing a soft sigh out of him.
Sunny Suzuki, covered in scars from his eye to his belly, sickly pale, short, skinny, terminally under or over-dressed self-made only child, had a boyfriend. Something—someone he didn't deserve and shouldn't have been able to acquire even if he had. Not just that, but one as gentle, beautiful, and perfect as this-
That was just it, of course. What now?
You never really planned this far ahead. You weren't supposed to live long enough to get a boyfriend. You weren't supposed to love him at all. More than that, he wasn't supposed to love you back.
Maybe part of Sunny hadn't lived, he mused. Maybe part of him had been buried with the sister that he had murdered.
Killed.
Killed, not murdered, his boyfriend had said.
Mari was still dead. Sunny had still killed her. Even now, it would occasionally crash over him like a wave. His sister, his rock, was never coming back.
And Sunny was still here, with Basil and Polly, each sat on the couch with a slice of warm gooseberry pie on their laps, alive. He was still here. Maybe he would even stay.
After all, Sunny had promised Basil that he would, and these days, he wasn't in the business of lying. Especially not to his boyfriend.
Notes:
i know the chapter's short but feedback pretty please? pleeeeease?
Chapter 22: Christmas Comes But Once Every Four Years
Summary:
Christmas! Nobody's sad on Christmas.
Notes:
I had a job. Specifics aren't important, it was an internship at one of those old people homes. Not a volunteer position. Out of the dozens there I met one old person who wasn't at least a little demented. All I could think about was: this was what I used to fear. Aging and dying. Very simple, common problem. Which I replaced with worse and worse ones up till now. Three years of once-a-year updates lol, technically four I think? I'm just so tired. Can't remember the last time I felt awake. Maybe it's my medication, which seems to mostly have a placebo effect anyway according to the psychiatrist? But atp they're all I have left. Every solution is temporary. I guess every problem is, too, because like I said. Keep getting worse. I'd like to say I've finally hit rock bottom. But you can always go deeper. I don't wanna jinx myself again. Ah well. Self-indulgent, self-pitying A/N over. This isn't what you guys read this fic for, if you still read it at all lol, and I won't keep you any longer. Sorry for the wait
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Christmas hadn't existed for Sunny in four years. He'd never really thought about it, consciously, until his mother had brought it up when he'd said he'd stay with Kel and Hero in Faraway. Technically, he now would be staying with Kel and Hero… but just for Christmas, and with his new boyfriend, neither of which Akane approved much of. She made this clear for the entire walk toward the Darwishes, having come to ‘pick Sunny up’ from Basil's house, as though he didn't know the way through a town with a population of a few hundred where he'd lived his whole life.
“Well, doesn't it get terribly lonely, staying with just… him?” Akane warbled. Basil, saint that he was, didn't bother reminding her he had a name.
“No,” Sunny replied.
“But two friends are better than one, right?”
“He's my boyfriend.”
“Okay, maybe three friends are better than two… what if you had him stay with you and Henry and Kelsey?”
“That'd be weird. Basil has his own house already.”
“The Darwishes are Muslim, which is a lot closer to being Shintoist than… um, Basil , what religion do you practice?”
“Only Mrs. Darwish is Muslim,” Sunny said quickly, so Basil wouldn't have to reply. “Mr. Darwish practices an obscure form of scientology considered heretical by all other sects. He thinks Tom Cruise made it too mainstream. Scientology, that is.”
“Alright, fine,” Akane finally said as they reached the Darwish house. “I give up.”
For now, Sunny thought wryly.
The door swung open before any of them could knock, revealing Hero and Kel standing side-to-side. Kel cut his brother's ‘hello’ off with, “C'mon! You guys have already missed the boring gifts from my parents. If you don't hurry up, you'll be late for the actual cool stuff.”
Sunny and Basil both glanced uneasily at Akane, who'd spent the entire morning taking absurdly small steps so as to have more time to try to convince Sunny to stop staying with Basil.
Mr. and Mrs. Darwish had both prepared gifts for Akane, as she'd prepared for them, and they went out onto the porch to exchange them, smoke, try to convert each other, and talk about the weather. Sunny, Basil, Hero, and Kel, meanwhile, found Aubrey slung over the couch in the living room, holding a suspiciously bat-shaped present that Basil had brought over yesterday.
“Oh, there you guys are.” She looked up- or down, technically, tilting her head back over the armrest so she could look at the newcomers. “Basil, this what I think it is?”
“Am I too predictable?”
“Well, I asked for a new bat, so I'd be the predictable one in this case.” Aubrey sat up, cracking her neck from side to side and then sighing like a much older woman. “What else is yours? I can guess which ones Kel got.”
“How?” Kel asked, mystified.
“Nobody is buying, and especially not drinking, Orange Joe—except you.” Hero shook his head, while Sunny raised an eyebrow at the array of bottle-shaped presents beneath the Christmas tree. Six… one was from Basil, not Kel.
“W-well, I got… Sunny, why don't you open yours?” Basil nodded at a box-shaped present, which Sunny crouched next to, brushing his fingers over it reverently. The wrapping paper crinkled under his touch. “It's not that fragile, hah…”
At that, Sunny ripped the wrapping off, revealing an absurdly large volume of Captain Spaceboy. No, wait, it was a stack of volumes. It would've been pretty strange to have a four thousand page-long comic book. In any case, comics hadn't really been a thing for Sunny in four years either, so now…
“D-do you like it?” Basil asked slowly, leaning down next to Sunny. He looked up and offered Basil his best smile, which probably didn't look like much to an untrained observer. But Basil's face lit up. “O-oh, thank God. And, um, Hero, the bottle on the right there is yours.”
“You didn't get me Orange Joe, right?” Hero raised an eyebrow, but his tone seemed normal, at least.
“No. Wait, did I?” Basil whispered to himself. When Hero pulled off the wrapping paper, though, he revealed a bottle of wine, some fancy French name none of them sans Hero could pronounce written on the side. “P-Polly recommended it.”
“For me? Did she now?” Hero snorted, but smiled at that. Smiled at something Basil had gotten him. On Polly's recommendation. Still, slow progress was progress. From the look Aubrey and Kel exchanged, they agreed.
The rest of the morning passed fairly quickly. Kel got a new basketball hoop from Basil and a new basketball from Sunny, Aubrey got her bat from Basil and a set of sewing supplies from Sunny, and Hero got an ugly sweater from Sunny, which he loved with so much sincerity that nobody had the heart to tell him ugly Christmas sweaters were supposed to be ugly, not ‘so pretty’ or ‘well-tailored’. Basil, for his part, got a bottle of Orange Joe, a switchblade ‘strictly for self-defense, or else I'll kick your ass, and Sunny’s too, if that's not enough to keep that thing pointed away from you’, and a new gardening can from the usual suspects, plus a moon necklace courtesy of Sunny, who then pulled him aside into the hallway. They could still hear their friends exchanging gifts and cracking stupid jokes, most of them at Kel's expense.
“Don't tell anyone else,” Sunny whispered, “but- it's not bad, don't worry,” he added quickly. “But I got you something extra.”
“Oh.” Basil flushed. “Well… isn't this awkward? I got you something extra, too, hehe…”
“Wanna go first?”
“I mean, if you want to…”
“It's fine if you wanna.”
“Well, I…” Basil sighed, chuckling. “Alright, I'll go first.” He disappeared back into the living room for a second, then returned to Sunny with a bag in hand, which he held out to his boyfriend with slightly shaky hands. “I-I hope it's not… lame, or something?”
“Nothing from you could be lame.”
“A lot of people beg to differ there, Sunshine.”
Sunny took the bag from Basil and peeked inside. It was a pair of… black socks. Typical, unadorned ones—until Sunny pulled them out. His eyes widened as he realized they were trimmed with little cat ears, had cat faces sewn in, and had pink cat toe beans on the soles. Dimly, he also realized they were thigh-high. “Wow.”
Even Basil didn't need to ask if Sunny liked them.
“Oh, for you.” Sunny folded the socks slowly, reverently, and placed them back in their bag, then took his own bag—Basil's, technically—from an oaken end table and handed it over to Basil.
“Aw, Sunny…” Basil cooed when he took a look inside. “You're spoiling me today, hehe…”
Then Basil blinked and flushed scarlet, all the way to the tips of his ears.
“If you don't like it-” Sunny began, but Basil, of all people, cut him off.
“I'll wear it,” Basil said, grinning slyly, “if you wear the socks.”
Hero had ducked out to discuss the weather with the parents, but Aubrey and Kel both stared when Basil and Sunny came back.
“This is… new,” Aubrey said.
“What do you mean? We’ve always looked like this,” Sunny deadpanned. His new socks fit him well, but he was much more interested in Basil, whose new crop top showed off his midriff, as toned as it was scarred. He wondered, dimly, if his mother or the Darwishes would be weird about it or the socks.
“Okay…” Aubrey sighed, rubbing her temples. “There was already something different between you two this morning, you've been fruitier than usual all day, which really says a lot, but…”
Sunny cocked an eyebrow at her. He supposed it wasn't too hard to guess what was going on between him and Basil, and it wasn't like she and Kel were as… high-risk as Hero, should they guess correctly.
“What's weird about two guys exchanging mildly homoerotic articles of clothing?” Kel asked, legitimately confused. Sunny had no idea Kel knew, let alone could pronounce, half those words. “Maybe they're just gay- oh. Ohhh.”
Sunny and Basil glanced at each other. It really wasn't too hard to guess if even Kel could figure it out.
…We should probably change before Hero comes back inside, then.
“Is this going to-” Basil glanced at Sunny again like he was asking for approval. For what, Sunny didn't know. ‘Confessing’ that they were dating? Regardless, he nodded. “Is this going to be, eh, problematic?”
“Nooo, of course not,” Kel said slowly, glancing out the window at the cold porch.
“Yeah, it's just, like…” Aubrey paused. “Aren't you guys taking this a bit fast? It's only been a few months since… y'know…” She gestured lamely.
“Since he stabbed me in the face?” Sunny deadpanned. “I got over it, so can you.”
“Sunny…” Basil sighed.
What? I'm just being honest.
“Yeah, we are happy for you guys, don't get us wrong,” Aubrey said quickly. “We are, right, Kel?”
“Yeah, yeah, ‘course! I mean, it's great you… uh… have the confidence to date a few weeks after meeting each other again after months without contact after trying to murder each other.” Kel gave them a double thumbs-up, and didn't seem to notice Aubrey repeatedly elbowing him. “Shows some real go-getter attitude, y'know?”
“We're just worried.” Aubrey, having given up on elbowing Kel, glanced outside, too. “About both of you.”
“And Hero?” Sunny asked. Aubrey and Kel pursed their lips in sync. “Speaking of, Basil, we should change before he comes back inside.”
“Huh- oh.” Basil blinked, snapping out of a stupor.
Was it dangerous? Probably. So was coming here in the first place. So was saving Basil. So was living in general. Sunny could accept that. Aubrey and Kel and Akane would have to as well.
The day flew by, though, and Sunny's worries remained in the back of his head. It was hard to think of his dating woes when he had all his friends in one place, the memory of his boyfriend in a crop top fresh in his mind, and an entire tray of lemon cakes (cut into little fir trees) all to himself. It was around noon, when Kel and Aubrey were wrestling on the living room carpet—each somehow choking the other, the two of them twisted into one eldritch pretzel—the Darwishes and Akane were in the kitchen preparing that evening's roast, and Sunny and Basil were cuddled up on the couch—betting kisses on who'd win the impromptu jiu-jitsu match—that Sunny's happy haze was first interrupted. Out of the corner of his vision, he caught Hero standing in the hallway, cloaked in shadow, only one eye visible. He was staring at Basil with a kind of white-hot fury that Sunny had only seen in mirrors.
Sunny slowly craned his neck toward the hallway, making as if about to call out to Akane, so it wouldn't seem like he'd spotted Hero planning a murder. That got him to vanish back into the kitchen, before Basil could spot him, too.
Could Sunny really blame Hero? He hadn't hurt Basil, except in a strictly emotional sense, and A. who was Sunny to talk on that front and B. it was, really, Hero's right to avoid one of the boys who'd ruined his life.
But it was still unfair . Sunny would've had an easier time swallowing it if Hero hated him and Basil both. It was stupid, but so was Sunny, so…
Actually, why not? Why not force Hero to go all-or-nothing?
While Sunny had been absorbed in his thoughts, Kel and Aubrey had both passed out, gotten back up, and initiated another match, although this one Kel was decisively winning by simply sitting on Aubrey, pinning her to the ground. As she wheezed out a ‘yield’ and the Darwishes called Basil to help in the kitchen— oh, Basil and Hero in the same room, without me or Kel or Aubrey… —Sunny got up, stretching.
“Be right back, Sunshine,” Basil whispered, kissed him on the cheek, and vanished into the hall.
Sunny helped peel Kel and Aubrey apart, glanced at the doorway to make sure Hero wasn't creeping again, and whispered, “Hero still hates Basil.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Aubrey whispered back. “What about it?”
Even Kel looked nervous.
“I think…” Sunny began. “We should do something . He should admit it. He should hate me, too. Or he should hate neither of us. Either way, not just Basil.”
“Why?” Kel asked. “I mean, why should we force a confrontation?” Sunny remembered, all at once, the conversation he and Kel had had at Mari's grave. “Hasn't he suffered enough? Hasn't Basil suffered enough, too? You'd want them together for this, right?”
“I think it's what'd be best for Basil, yeah. I'd ask him first, though. Duh.”
“But we can't ask Hero first,” Aubrey said. “He'd just deny and then run away.”
“Or he'd have another outburst,” Kel said.
“If that's where he's headed, he'll get there with or without our intervention. Better if we're together for it,” Sunny replied. Unbidden, visions of Basil and Hero alone filled his mind.
“That's…” Aubrey sighed. “He's got a point, Kel.”
“...Alright.” Kel glanced at the doorway. “This better not go wrong.”
Sunny almost asked if Basil was nervous before realizing what a stupid question that would be. The two of them sat shoulder-to-shoulder again, on another couch, but this time Basil's, late December light streaming in through the living room window. It'd taken half of Boxing Day to convince Basil to go through with this scheme of Sunny’s, and he'd rather not mess it up now. As he rubbed Basil's hand for the umpteenth time this morning, the doorbell rang, and his boyfriend practically sprang to his feet. “I'll get it,” he whispered, visibly, nearly audibly, sweating.
“You don't have to-” Sunny began, but Basil had already crossed the room and flung the door open halfway through his sentence.
“H-hi, Hero!” Basil said.
“Yeah. Hi,” Sunny heard Hero say. He had to crane his neck to see the doorway, where Hero and Basil stood opposite each other for a moment, both silent, before Basil remembered he had to move aside to let Hero, Kel, and Aubrey in. They were supposed to cook, theoretically, so Hero remained standing, but Kel and Aubrey took their places in armchairs.
“What's with the dour looks?” Hero asked, glancing between Basil and Sunny. “You two have been off all day, too,” he added, nodding to Aubrey and Kel.
“Uh, yeah…” Basil began, exchanging looks with Sunny. He seemed almost green. “Well, we- I- we-”
“We brought you here under mildly false pretenses,” Aubrey broke in.
Hero's brow furrowed as Kel continued, “We know you hate Basil.”
At that, Hero blinked.
“Please don't deny it-” Aubrey began, but Hero cut her off.
“But… I don't hate Basil.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don't.”
“It's like, really obvious.”
“No, it isn't!” Hero hissed.
“No, seriously, it is. We've all noticed,” Sunny interjected.
“You constantly look at him funny even now, never the way you look at Sunny,” Kel said.
“You gave the most unconvincing forgiveness speech ever,” Aubrey added.
“And there was… Thanksgiving.” Even Basil added his two cents, not meeting Hero's narrowed eyes.
“I- wh-” Hero sputtered, as though he didn't even know where to start. He probably didn't. Fuck, they'd accidentally gish galloped. Terrible form. “Fine, I misspoke at Thanksgiving—I'm surprised you still remember that—and- okay, it was harder to forgive him compared to Sunny, so- it's also easier to like Sunny-”
“Was it easy to forgive me?” Sunny cocked an eyebrow. Maybe Hero would unforgive him after that, if ‘unforgive’ was a word. It probably wasn't. Hero would know.
“Yeah, compared to Basil-”
“Why?”
Hero stared, dumbstruck in the particular way one can only be when faced with a question of overwhelming stupidity rather than profundity. His fists shook at his sides. “ Why? ” he began slowly. “Because he wasn't her sister? Because he could've revealed the truth at any time? Because he didn't have to do any of what he did? And what he did made everything so much more infinitely worse than it already was, than it ever had to be?”
(Sunny hadn't seen him like this even in the hospital room.)
“Because I thought that there was hope? That it was my fault, that I could've changed it, that it was all me and all her and not him and Sunny? That I- I spent years blaming myself, blaming Mari, blaming Kel, instead of the two people actually responsible, one of whom was just as much a victim as Mari, that…” Hero trailed off slowly. He looked away from the others, then down at the ground. Sunny took Basil's trembling hand again.
“Yeah, he did make it worse,” Sunny said after giving Hero a moment. “And we want it to never get that bad again.”
“We want to make sure you don't bottle things up again,” Kel added. “Remember last time?”
“Last…” Hero said slowly, like he was in a trance. “...Shit. Shit, I'm sorry.” He put his head in his hand. “...Yeah. I mean, no, I don't- yeah. I do… I don't know if I'd say I hate- okay, yeah. I kind of do. I mean, can anyone blame me?”
“No, not for holding it against me,” Basil said quietly, still not looking at Hero. “Not for not forgiving me, either. But- for outbursts like that, I mean…”
“Yeah, I know. I'm…” Hero sighed. “Sorry. I'm sorry.” He walked over to the counter, leaning back against it. “I don't know if I should blame you, but I do. It… if you want to be forgiven, then… airing it out has made it easier. To try, I mean, try to forgive you. It's what Mari would want, I know…”
“...I do want that.” Slowly, ever so slowly, Basil lifted his gaze to meet Hero's. “I do.”
Hero ran his fingers through his hair, sighing, this time in a normal-exhausted way rather than emotionally exhausted way. The kitchen was a mess, the sun was setting in a dark pink sky outside, and Aubrey had tripped over Kel no less than three and possibly as many as six times because he'd read online that all organisms are bound for carcinization and he thought he ought to get a head start by ‘walking like a crab’—but the job was done. He pulled his apron off, tossed it onto the counter, and took a seat at the dining table with Kel, Aubrey, Basil, and Sunny.
“Alright, guys,” Hero said. “When's the last time the five of us have eaten together, anyway?”
“...Two days ago?” Sunny said slowly. He pinched his nose when he realized Hero had been making a joke.
“Sure was!” Hero laughed, then gestured broadly at the steaming tray of brownies. “Would you like to do the honors, Sunny?”
Sunny took up the butter knife, the only clean one left after Kel's juggling incident an hour or so ago, and carved the brownies into a startlingly neat grid. Everyone took a slice for themselves and started eating, the closest thing to conversation the clinking of metal on ceramic and, in Kel's case, scratching against paper, because he wasn't allowed anything fragile after the other juggling incident an hour or so ago. Befitting their sizes, Sunny finished first, then Basil, and the former dragged the latter away to the bedroom to do whatever it was they did when they were alone. Before Hero could wonder too much about that, Kel started choking and Aubrey had to give him the Heimlich. She smacked him on the back even after he spat out the comically large chunk of brownie.
“Y'know,” Kel coughed, “if I passed out, would you give me mouth-to-mouth?”
“Absolutely not.” Aubrey rolled her eyes.
“But… we’re literally dating.”
“Yeah, that doesn't mean I have to give you mouth-to-mouth.”
“But we kiss…?”
“That's completely different.” Aubrey said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Hero shook his head, chuckling to himself, and stood, wiping his mouth while Kel and Aubrey continued to bicker.
It's… nice, that they have what they have.
He couldn't deny that it hurt, even now, especially now. But hopefully it'd hurt less with all… this… out in the open. As he headed over to grab his keys off the counter, just out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of the door to Basil's bedroom, which was ajar. Just slightly, like they'd meant to close it. Just a sliver, really. But it was enough that Hero could see Basil on top of Sunny, and slowly, ever so slowly, the door swung further open from a draft from the kitchen window, until there was no mistaking the fact that Basil and Sunny were tangled together so tightly he couldn't tell where one ended and the other began, hands in each other's hair, grabbing at each other's clothes, lips locked as one.
(All Hero could see was himself and Mari like that, so many years ago.)
Notes:
Did u know. This fic was supposed to be 30 chapters long originally. Yeah no that's not happening. Anyway this chapters 3.5k words instead of 3k like the last one, at least. Feedback would be nice, even though I'm basically writing based off vibes atp?