Chapter Text
"I'm just saying, that Namjoon would be a great underwear model." Jin solemnly says with a glass of beer in his hand.
"Totally, have you guys seen his thighs?" Jungkook agrees.
"Please, Kook, we don't need another lecture about 'why Namjoon's thighs are the eight world wonder' again," Jimin teases.
"I think Jin-hyung could also be a great underwear model," Taehyung points out nonchalantly.
"He's already a model, you're only adding the underwear part because you want to see him naked," Hoseok comments with a smirk.
"Hey! Why are you attacking me this way?" Taehyung whines.
Yoongi only giggles and shakes his head, amused at the exchange of words between his friends. In the corner of his eyes he can see Jimin looking at him, he takes a shot of soju to gain some strength to look back, meeting Jimin’s cheeky smile and replying with a shy one. That's more than enough of an exchange, they let the conversation of their friends flow, joining occasionally but not saying a word between them.
There's enough said.
When all their friends leave -all of them in different levels of tipsiness- Yoongi is washing the glasses, humming quietly when a pair of arms comes around his waist, and a kiss is pressed on his spine.
“Do you need help?” Jimin's breath tickles on his skin.
“Nah, I’ll let this dry on its own,” Yoongi stops the water and turns, familiar with being trapped between the younger's arms, under his gaze, incessant, intense, making him nervous despite all the times he’s been in this same position.
“Hmmm, you sleepy?” Jimin moves closer, his nose brushing Yoongi’s.
“I’m always sleepy,” Yoongi chuckles. Jimin closes the gap between them, pressing a kiss in the corner of his lips, subtle, sweet, but not innocent at all.
“Let’s go to bed then,” he whispers against his mouth.
They’re friends, everybody knows that, friends that have dumb fights that always ends in laughter, friends that share silly jokes, friends that love each other, that show their love in many ways, and perhaps that's the only difference between them and the rest of their group of friends: the way in which they show their affection.
“J-Jimin,” Yoongi moans when Jimin finally takes him inside his mouth, his back arching even more when one of the younger’s hands moves to play with his nipples. With all his previous partners nobody has ever paid attention to his chest to make him think of it as a sensitive spot, but under Jimin’s touches he easily unravels until he becomes a mess of moans and whimpers. He could easily close his eyes and give himself to the sensations, but it is a thousand times better when he forces his eyes open and can see Jimin sucking him off; cheeks hollow and plump lips stretched around him, eyelashes looking so pretty as they rest on his cheeks, Jimin is gorgeous, so fucking gorgeous, he seems to glow even in the darkness of his room, is so natural for Yoongi to have his field of vision filled only with Jimin, Jimin, Jimin.
“You taste so good,” his voice sends shivers along his spine. “Will you come like this for me?”
“Don’t wanna,” he manages to breathe out.
“No?” Jimin licks from the base to the tip, “how do you wanna come?”
“Inside...” his cheeks must be scarlet red.
“Inside my mouth?” Jimin teases, giving a kittenish lick on the tip of his cock, Yoongi's cock twitches.
“With you… with you inside.” He’s finally able to mumble, feeling even his ears red. How is it possible that after doing this so many times Jimin still manages to make him feel like it's his first time? So shy? So sensitive? So... his.
“My pleasure,” Jimin kisses inside of his thighs, “hand me the lube”
Yoongi feels hazy with pleasure, it is a miracle that his limbs work to let him get the lube from the drawer, Jimin is kind to take it from his hands, careful, trying not to overwork him. Yoongi thinks it's part of the teasing, because in a few minutes he's gonna make him crumble the moment he starts working him open, he already felt like collapsing when Jimin was pushing his tongue past his rim, and true to his thoughts, when he finally had Jimin's fingers inside him he couldn't stop the long whine that slipped from his lips.
"J-Jimin…" he moans when one finger becomes two.
"I hate that I have small fingers, can't find your prostate like this," he huffs, scissoring his fingers and thrusting them in and out. "I have no other option but fucking you."
"Yes, yes please, fuck me, a-ah, fuck me, Jiminie," the sound of the lube is obscene, and Jimin's hot voice against his skin makes everything so sinful, he has no idea if he's stretched enough, but he can't take it anymore, he needs Jimin right now. "Jimin… please"
"Easy baby, I've got you." Jimin kisses his right knee, then the other, leaving the lube aside as he manoeuvres Yoongi legs, throwing them over his shoulders, exposing him in a way that makes Yoongi shy. He bites his lips, but doesn't say a word, letting Jimin have his time touching his legs as he stares down at him. He shuts his eyes when he hears the cap of the bottle of lube "Look at me," Jimin demands, and Yoongi slowly opens his eyes, staring at the younger coat his cock with lube and aligning himself with his entrance, it tickles when the tip starts to tease his rim.
Sometimes they rush, but there are times like this in which they take their time, touching with no hurry, undoing themselves with attention and love.
"You look so pretty hyung, you're always so pretty," Yoongi opens his mouth, ready to beg again when Jimin starts to sink inside of him. When he bottoms out it punches the air out of his lungs. He gasps, his stomach tenses as he throws his head back.
"Fuck."
"Hmm, taking me so well, looking so pretty stretched with my cock," Jimin leans to spread kisses on Yoongi’s throat.
"A-ah, Jimin" Yoongi moans when Jimin starts to move.
"I was so tempted to talk about your thighs tonight," Jimin murmurs against his ear, nibbling on the skin of his neck, "has nobody seen yours? So fucking dainty, so pale, so pretty, fuck," his words are punctuated with each thrust, starting to fuck him relentlessly.
"J-Jimin, ah fuck" he can't see straight anymore, his eyes are teary and his brain feels like filled with cotton.
"You could be a lingerie model with this legs, fuck, you'd look so pretty," he sucks a mark on his neck and Yoongi gasps, "but only for me, fuck, for nobody else to see, just me."
"Just you.. yours, only yours." He's being bent in half but he couldn't care less, in fact he pulls Jimin closer, pulling his hair and pressing the heel of his feet against his back.
"Mine." Jimin keeps marking him, "my hyung, my pretty hyung, my soft hyung, my tight, tight hyung… fuck, you always feel so good, you drive me crazy."
"Touch me, please touch me, please, please, please," Jimin slides one hand between their bodies, taking Yoongi's cock and stroking with a firm grip. Yoongi curls his toes, body spasming and soon he's coming without having a chance to give a warning.
"Pretty, look at you, you look so pretty, so lovely," he kisses his cheek, his nose, his lips. "Can I use that pretty hole of yours? Can I come inside you?"
"Yes, use me, you have me, all of me" Yoongi is not sure if he's speaking drunk on his orgasm, or were the words come from, but he can't stop clinging to Jimin, he doesn't want him to stop until he fills him, until he has used him and his body is spent and bathed with all those lovebites that Jimin always leaves.
"Mine." Jimin repeats, groaning on his neck, biting the skin there, then moving to his collarbones. Yoongi can bet that his chest is blooming purple and red. "Mine, mine, mine, fuck, Imma come."
"Come, come inside me, I need it Jiminie." Yoongi pants, his brain still mushy from his orgasm.
"Everything you want my love, I'll give you all." Jimin pushes forward, the bed creaking under them. He keeps going, and going, if he doesn't come soon, Yoongi is sure he's gonna pass out. Be damn or blessed his dancer stamina.
"J-Jimin… is too much, I can't—"
"Fuck, hyung, I'm—" Jimin’s eyebrows are pinched together as he keep thrusting, Yoongi a mess of moans under him, so oversensitive when the younger finally comes inside him. Yoongi whines high and broken, his vision filled with white spots, and his ears with the cute little sounds that Jimin makes.
Yoongi gives Jimin a few minutes to recover before he starts to complain about his weight on him.
"Minie… my legs," he huffs, the stretching added to Jimin on top of him, plus their prior activity makes it not easy to breathe.
"Gimme a second..."
"I'm getting a cramp," Jimin giggles.
"Shut up, you're not,"
"If you can laugh I'm sure you can pull out too."
"Don't want to, it's comfy like this."
"Taking a shower to clean your cum is gonna be comfy too."
"Hyuuung, don't kill the mood" Yoongi snorts.
"Fine, cockwarm yourself, I'll wait with my cramp," Jimin cackles.
“Why are you so dramatic?” He asks but does as Yoongi requested, slowly pulling out and even using his hand to help ensure that his cum doesn’t end in the bed. What a gentleman. “Here,” he says, placing his hand in front of Yoongi’s face. The older raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t you want to clean?” Scratch the gentleman thing. He blushes madly red, but for some dumb reason he does as the younger suggest, using his lips and tongue to clean his hand. He’ll later stop to think about how hygenic this is. “My hyung is such a good boy,” Jimin hums.
“I could spit, you know?”
“No you won’t, you always swallow” Yoongi feels his face on flames, but luckily Jimin doesn’t stretch the humiliation (is more a teasing than a degrading thing, Jimin knows that he’s too fragile for that kind of stuff), replacing his hand with his lips and kissing him deeply.
“Hmm, —min,” Yoongi tries to speak between kisses.
“Hm?”
“—shower” The slide of Jimin’s lips against his feels good, his body quickly goes lax but also heats up, is something Jimin does to him easily, he doesn’t even have to try for Yoongi to be completely his.
“Let’s kiss some more,” Jimin whispers against his lips, licking the roof of his mouth. He’s dangerous, he knows that, he can feel it in the way he’s starting to get hard again just from some kissing, he’s a really weak man.
“Jimin…” He threads his arms around his neck, actions not matching his words. Closing his eyes when Jimin starts to kiss down his neck.
“Just a little more,” Yoongi moans when Jimin starts touching him, his body that feels so heavy still is quick to respond. “Should I stop now?”
Shower be damned.
“N-no.”
“Good.” He kisses his sternum. “I still haven’t had enough from you.”
Yoongi wakes up feeling too hot, a familiar kind of warmth he quickly recognizes as Jimin. The younger asleep having Yoongi hugged close to his chest, is not the most comfortable for summer, but Yoongi can’t say no to cuddles, he closes his eyes, he hopes sleep comes back, but it doesn’t, so he just stays in place, enjoying Jimin’s warmth until the younger starts to move.
(Is it bad how addictive is being embraced by Jimin?)
Jimin yawns and Yoongi smiles fondly.
“Hey, are you awake?”
“Barely” Jimin mumbles, hugging him closer. Yoongi is suffocating, but he doesn’t want to pull away.
“Don’t you have classes today?”
“Nope.”
“I have to work tho.”
“Don’t go,” Jimin pouts.
“Don’t be like that, I have to,” Yoongi says although he makes no attempt to create any distance between them.
Silence falls upon them, Yoongi can hear Jimin breathing, he can feel some deep intakes, like the prelude for something he wants to say, but eventually he just breathes out, keeping Yoongi close to him. Yoongi just comments about it during sex, but he loves how clingy Jimin gets, it makes him feel special in ways he have never ever felt, perhaps is because they’re good friends and he can fully relax with him.
He closes his eyes, cheek pressed on Jimin’s chest, he can feel his heartbeats and it feels like the perfect bass to build a song on top of it.
(He never expected to find himself in Jimin’s arms, but he loves it.)
“Hyung?” Jimin finally speaks.
“Hm?”
“Do you… want to go to get some breakfast?” Yoongi lifts his head to look at him, the younger is looking at some spot in the wall.
“Are you inviting me?” Yoongi teases, but Jimin’s expression remains the same.
“Yeah,”
“What’s the occasion?” Is not often that Jimin treats him, if anything, like the rest of the youngsters, he’s the type to ask Yoongi to buy him food.
“Nothing,” Jimin finally looks at him, is brief, and then he looks away again. “I just want to stay a bit longer with you.”
Yoongi blinks at him, he’s so physically close, but at the same time he feels strangely distant. He doesn’t know in which minute the air changed around them.
“Okay,” He agrees. Maybe Jimin has something he wants to talk about, maybe he wants to do it during breakfast.
(He doesn’t)
Yoongi never pays too much attention to the way they talk when they fuck, how possessive Jimin gets, how submissive he becomes. Is weird, is not at all like how they are usually outside the bedroom, in their friendship, but things always take that twist when sex is involved. Anyway, he really doesn't mind, it is like a kind of game they have. Jimin chants his love, his adoration, he always presses on the subject of Yoongi being his, and Yoongi allows himself to be eaten alive. Yoongi cries because he needs Jimin too much, and Jimin takes him apart tenderly only to destroy him at the end.
He always leaves bruises, bites, all types of marks that linger through the days, he knows that Yoongi doesn't care and that he also has nobody to give explanations about it, that's something Yoongi never lies about in bed, when he says there's nobody else, he means it.
Jimin is not blunt about it, he kind of likes his flirty image, but he has let slip a few times about how he was dancing and grinding against a few people in the club after coming to knock on Yoongi’s door. Is not because Jimin doesn't own a place. He could have easily gone home with those people, but he comes to Yoongi instead.
Is not routine.
Is not a relationship.
Is just… a thing they have.
A thing when they chant and prey devotion to each other, fucking as if the world is ending tomorrow, and then eat ice cream, and have dumb banter about a drama they watch on TV.
Is a thing they have.
A thing when they can cuddle to sleep, kiss in the morning, make out in bed, and then talk normally as they eat breakfast, if Jimin, sometimes bends him over the kitchen counter and fucks him senseless, that's just part of the thing they have, same goes to blowjobs in the shower. It's cool, they're okay, no strings attached.
Just a thing they have.
Their group of friends is like a tidal wave; they come and go. Most of the time they mind their own business until someone gets bored of lazy texts in their group chat and demands a meeting, usually going for drinks or getting together to watch a movie or play some games. He knows Taehyung and Jimin are thick as thieves, and their friends know that if he disappears for too long they can ask Namjoon since they work in the same building. But beside that, nobody ever minds or cares, -or notices, who knows- when Jimin stays over, neither when they go out just the two of them. The youngsters often fight about who’s Yoongi’s favourite, he always perceives how bratty Jimin gets when his soft spot for Jungkook shows, but still, nothing is said out loud.
Their texting isn't suggestive of anything, both of them are more comfortable with talking in person, if anything, one could see how caring Jimin is whenever Yoongi mentions something related to his poor health (all bad habits like his disastrous sleep schedule and forgetting to eat), always jumping to say that he can’t have his hyung feeling unwell, which leads to having him on his house with take out and a promise of good sleep that implies being fucked to oblivion. He can’t deny that he sleeps like a baby after that, even better if he’s in Jimin’s arms.
But still, they’re not much different than normal friends, besides some more texting, and more seeing each other they still can go for days without exchanging words, both of them too workaholic and easily absorbed by the things they do. Jimin is quite famous in his academy for his excellent work, and meanwhile Yoongi is not a successful producer, he has managed to produce and write a few songs for well known artists.
But he’s working on a different project now, one that for the first time requested him as a featured artist besides producer. He loves rapping, that’s the reason he got into the industry, but he’s afraid to the core of fucking things up. He’s a bit rusty, and also the artist that asked for his services is a total legend, why him? He knows he should embrace the chance and give it his all, well, there’s no doubt in that, but he’s still insecure and afraid about potential mistakes and that scares him so much.
The anxiety is starting to eat him alive, lots of cups of coffee accumulate on his desk and his fingers are suffering the worst part of it. Namjoon has suggested to go watch a movie, but he has refused because he wants to practise, but the more he practises the more he feels frustrated. He thinks that his only salvation is to be completely numb, to sleep for three days in a row so then he can focus properly on his work.
Like a life-saviour, his phone vibrates on his desk.
Jimin: bibimbap?
Me: tteokbokki
Jimin: deal
They meet in Yoongi's house after... a week? Two? Yoongi has lost track of time, it always happens too him when he’s focused on something. Jimin has his hair cut, he looks nice, his cheeks look a bit rounder and that gives him a cute aura, cute that is quickly disrupted when he smirks and looks like a brat instead. He’s wearing a green sweater and jeans, a casual fit but that looks incredible on him. Jimin has always been too gorgeous for his own good, his flirty eyes, his plump lips, his expressive face, his toned body, his pretty hands, he’s literally gorgeous everywhere.
“Tteokbokki.” He says as a greeting, lifting the bags with take out. “Like his majesty wanted,” Yoongi snorts, taking a step to the side so Jimin can get inside. Is nothing out of the blue, the younger takes his shoes off, hangs his jacket, and then grabs Yoongi by the back of his neck to guide him for a kiss.
Nothing out of the blue between them.
They eat while watching a movie, Jimin with a hand on his thigh, Yoongi feeding him from time to time, pouring some soju for both of them. Jimin kisses him and it is spicy, Yoongi smiles in the kiss and they laugh together when Yoongi comments about it.
"So you do," Jimin replies, going for another kiss.
Yoongi has the topic stuck on his throat, when they move closer and Jimin puts his head on his shoulder he can feel it on the tip of his tongue, but he can't say anything at the end. He doesn't have a chance to speak any coherent words when the food is finished and Jimin declares him as the dessert. The spicy flavour and the taste of soju in the kisses is long forgotten just like the movie on the screen when the younger pulls him on his lap and starts to undress him with hungry hands.
Yoongi is unabashed with his sounds, he has never got a sound complaint so he guesses the walls of his apartment are thick enough for him to be as vocal as he pleases, which is a lot when he's under Jimin’s touch. He moans and whines with every suck and bite on his naked skin, his bitten nails digging on Jimin's back. When he's finally taken to the bedroom, he gets even more loud. Gasping and screaming of pleasure with every thrust, pleading Jimin to not stop, to keep going, to take him apart, to go harder, deeper, to mark him, to make him his, his body aching and having every inch of his body imprinted with his name.
Jimin gives his all, he kisses him senseless, he fucks his brain out, he bites on his skin until everything blooms in dark, until the pinkness of Yoongi's flushed body turns a galaxy of purples. He fucks him as if it is the last time, he doesn't stop murmuring 'mine, mine, mine' everytime his hips slap against his ass. The praises never stop falling from his mouth, the kisses always land in some part of his body, his gaze stays intense, deep, devouring him just like his mouth does.
Jimin is always an explosion of passion, but in the back of his head, Yoongi wonders if there's something bothering him too, something fueling his action the same way they motivate him to keep pulling him closer and clenching around him. He wants him so badly, he needs him so desperately, is insane. He can't stop demanding, but the more he does the closer he feels to everything ending too soon for his liking. If lucky, Jimin may be up for round two.
He comes with his body spasming and although he feels tired and worn, he wouldn't mind Jimin using him for whatever he pleases, be it a round two or four, everything, anything. Today he just feels with an incredible need of being the object of this type of love Jimin builds when they fuck, when they can belong to each other.
(and he can feel loved)
Jimin hugs him tight when he comes, kissing him in the mouth and muttering things Yoongi can’t discern.
At the end he doesn’t get a chance to tell Jimin, nor does he create it.
He ended up keeping it to himself, just like Jimin’s murmurs get lost in his mouth.
Namjoon congratulates him for his song in the group chat and the rest of his friends give him emojis and loving messages too. Yoongi smiles at them and thanks them back, still feeling insecure, not knowing if they’re being nice because they’re friends or because he really did well.
The only feeling that lingers is something bitter at the absence of a name in the chat.
He has described his group of his friends like a tidal wave, he sticks to that, but usually the ones he sees the most are Namjoon and Jimin, although both of them also have their missing periods when they get drowned in work, they still are always there for him. He shrugs it off, it has to be that, exams week or something alike. There are no reasons for him to take it personal, they’re just friends after all, friends just like the rest of them, they may have a thing… but it's just a thing they have, nothing more, nothing less.
If he’s being honest with himself, he misses his warmth, his kind words that sometimes are soft enough to get under his skin, to sink in his heart. He misses playing footsies and cuddling and kissing and just being naked together in bed, when he can touch him openly, bury his face on his neck, breath deeply and melt in his scent, his particular cologne and what is only Jimin.
He easily loses track of time, the marks and bruises that used to dance in a scale of red and purples have faded from his skin.
How long has it been?
(He feels hollow)
(He misses him)
But it doesn’t take much for his song to reach to ears of other artist, Namjoon says he got famous, that his work is finally being recognized like he deserves, Taehyung says it was about time, that he has always being his favourite rapper, Jin offers his services to cook for all of them when they have a chance to meet to celebrate, and Hoseok sends infinite emojis meanwhile Jungkook says he’ll bring the drinks. Yoongi thanks them again, tries to calm them down about gathering together, to not rush because he has a lot of work to do. They call him out for that, but eventually change the topic to Hoseok’s upcoming performance.
The pain on his chest resurges but he bites it down, he’s just missing a friend after all, they may have had a thing, but what remains is that they are friends and he hasn’t heard about him, is normal to feel a little sad about not knowing about him, is nothing strange to feel his ribcage suddenly too small for his lungs, organs squishing his heart and making everything hurt.
Is it just him missing his friend.
There’s nothing else.
It’s 2 am. When Yoongi feels something crawling up his throat, it is tight, hoarse, violent, the urge is the same as throwing up but more solid and violent, closing everything and he can’t breathe. He rushes to the bathroom, scratching his throat from outside to see if he can help to ease the grip the pain has on him, but is too much, to say he’s suffocating stays short, he leans on the sink, knuckles turning white when the coughs start to come, at least finally some air coming inside his lungs, he thinks he can get it, he can get through this, but the coughing don’t stop, he keeps coughing to the point in which he feels his lungs will give up, it keeps going until at some point it eventually stops.
Reaching that point, his whole frame is shaking, tears falling from his eyes making his vision blurry when he looks down at the sink.
What the fuck?
The first things that catches his attention are the spots of blood, some of them even out of the sink, but then, he wipes off the tears from his eyes to take a proper look.
He gasps, taking a few steps back until his back hits the door. Things like this don’t happen, things like this doesn’t exist, things like things can’t happen to him even if they were real because he’s not in love, because he doesn’t—
He coughs again, touching his bloody lips with one hand and then musters the strength to walk again to take a proper look to the sink.
Spiraea.
Pink petals, just like, (no), just like… just like Jimin used to call his lips when he opened his mouth for him.
This can’t be true.
This has to be some cruel joke of destiny, but then again, his throat constricts, and he’s coughing out more pink petals on the sink.
His eyes burn with the urge to spill tears, did he… fall in love?
Did he fell in love and isn’t loved back?
Like cruel destiny, when he comes back to his room, sitting at the edge of the bed, a picture of his friend catches his eyes, is an old one, a polaroid at the top of his drawer. His breathing stops. At that time his hair was orange, his eyes crescent moons due his big smile, cheeks round, he’s glowing, too gorgeous for his own good, like Yoongi always says, like he said when he kissed his skin, when he caressed his hair, when he stared at his eyes.
Too gorgeous.
Too tender.
Too kind.
Too good for him.
Of course Jimin was too good for him.
(‘I love you, I love you’ was always dancing on this tongue but he never said it, none of them ever said it, they never talked about love)
All of the sudden all of this time of absence weighs like thousands of kilograms on his chest and everything feels too heavy, the tears spill before more petals rest on the palm of his hand.
He has always been weak to love, but he never thought he’ll be this kind of weak, weak to affection, weak to tenderness.
He’s a fool. God, he’s such a fool.