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Hisashi Midoriya had planted cameras in every room of his family home. Since his alter ego All for One had many enemies, he considered this a completely reasonable and normal precaution. As long as he never mentioned this to Inko, he could keep pretending she’d be fine if she knew about it. It wasn’t as though he would ever let anyone else spy on his wife and child, or even find out about their existence. He used an advanced AI to monitor the footage for any danger.
One morning, as Hisashi sat before his desk drinking coffee and plotting a major assault against the Russian mafia, he received a red alert on his phone. Immediately, he viewed the camera footage.
The image showed his adorable five-year-old son Izuku sitting at the breakfast table. Izuku took a bite of cereal. Something golden poked out of his bowl. Izuku screamed and fell backwards in a faint.
Hisashi’s vision went white with horror. A thousand horrible possibilities flashed across his mind: Izuku had his uncle’s illness, Izuku had been poisoned, Izuku had been attacked by an enemy’s quirk. Without hesitation, he activated his teleportation ability. He barely remembered to appear outside the Midoriyas’ doorstep instead of inside. That would have been difficult to explain to his wife, who believed he had a fire-breathing quirk. (He did, he just had quite a few others as well.)
Hisashi slammed his hand down on the doorbell.
“Coming!” Inko called in an irritated voice. “You can stop pressing it—oh!” Her eyes widened. “Hisashi, I thought you were on a business trip to Russia.”
Hisashi spoke in one long breath. “My business ended early, I decided to surprise you, then I heard Izuku scream, what happened?” A healing quirk hovered ready at his fingertips.
Inko smiled. “Now I understand. Nothing is wrong. Izuku just found a golden ticket in his O-Might cereal.”
Stepping backward, Inko revealed little Izuku dancing around the table holding up a laminated golden ticket and singing the theme song of O-Mights, breakfast of future heroes.
Hisashi’s entire body sagged, his quirks fading away. “I see.” He’d abandoned a major onslaught on the Russian mafia just to have his son’s All Might fanboyism thrust in his face? Maybe he could fake an urgent work call and leave.
Despite Hisashi’s extensive efforts to explain how much All Might sucked, his son persisted in idolizing the blond oaf. It had always been a sore spot. Hisashi told himself his beloved child would come to understand his advanced arguments after he got older.
“Daddy!” Izuku ran forward and threw his arms around his father’s leg.
Annoyance melting into affection, Hisashi picked up his son and hugged him. “I’m home, ducky.” It was good to see that bright, gap-toothed smile, even if he hated how All Might had been the one to cause such happiness.
Izuku’s words tripped over themselves. “I won a free foor—I mean, a free tour! To Might Tower! It says I get to go behi—behind—”
“Behind the scenes?” Hisashi’s eyebrows rose. He’d been trying and failing to infiltrate All Might’s stronghold for years. As Izuku held up the ticket, Hisashi read that his son was allowed one parent to accompany him. This was the perfect opportunity to plant surveillance equipment. Perhaps he could even sneak away during a bathroom break for some sabotage. Maybe, just maybe, watching Might Tower collapse would make Izuku realize that his idol wasn’t so perfect.
This morning hadn’t been a waste after all. A crocodile’s grin spreading across his face, Hisashi asked, “May I take Izuku on his tour? I’d love to have a father-son bonding activity during my rare vacation time.”
“That sounds lovely,” Inko said. “I have no strong feelings about heroes. It’s so sweet that you’re willing to set aside your dislike of them to make Izuku happy.”
“Daddy will finally see how cool All Might is!” Izuku followed up this proclamation with a big kiss on his father’s cheek.
“Like he—” Hisashi caught his wife’s glare. “Like heck.”
Holding his father’s hand, Izuku gazed up at Might Tower with wide eyes. “Whoa.”
“That globe on top looks unstable,” Hisashi said. “It might fall on us at any moment.” Seeing his beloved son decked out in All Might merchandise had put him in a bad mood. Izuku wore a tiny All Might costume complete with a yellow hoodie resembling hair tufts. He also had a satchel with All Might’s face and a super-rare teenage All Might debut pin. Both Inko and Izuku had tried to persuade Hisashi to wear some All Might merchandise, but it had suffered a tragic and mysterious accident that morning.
All for One had never allowed any heroes to glimpse his face, but just in case, Hisashi had faked a cold and donned a face mask. It would also help him disguise his sarcastic expressions.
After they placed their belongings on a security conveyor belt, a guard searched them. He asked, “What are your names and quirks?”
“I’m Hisashi Midoriya, and I have a fire-breathing quirk. My son, Izuku Midoriya, is quirkless.”
Sneering, the guard peered down at Izuku. “So he’s a charity case?”
Hisashi straightened to his full, impressive height. “Excuse me, my son won this tour by spending a ridiculous amount of my money on All Might merchandise, the same as every other hero-worshipping brat.”
Under the force of his glare, the guard dropped his pen with a sharp clatter.
Not listening, Izuku stared up at the giant posters of All Might in the lobby. “Whoa,” he whispered, fingers twitching. Hisashi longed to commit arson.
“Are you the Midoriyas?” A stern-faced man with glasses approached. “I’m Sir Nighteye. I’ll be your tour guide today.”
“All Might’s side chick!” Izuku bounced with excitement.
“Excuse me?” Sir Nighteye recoiled.
To avoid being thrown out in the first five minutes, Hisashi explained, “He means sidekick. He’s had trouble pronouncing words ever since he lost his two front teeth. He’s a big fan of yours.”
“Understandable.” Sir Nighteye’s face remained a mask. “Follow me.”
First, Sir Nighteye took them to a cafeteria. “All Might often relaxes here after missions. Other heroes sometimes join him. I see Wash and Mount Lady are here today.” He pointed.
Izuku leapt up and down, trying to see over the crowd. “Wash’s costume has struc—structural design flaws.”
Hisashi paled. “Izuku, how about you don’t—”
His darling son talked over him. “Daddy says a vial of acid dumped into his eye holes would take care of him. Because his quirk isn’t worth scheamling.”
Hisashi chuckled nervously. “I said that when I pretended to be a villain during a game.” At least Izuku had mangled that last word.
Sir Nighteye nodded, seeming to buy it.
Then Izuku opened his mouth again. “Daddy says Mount Lady’s costume belongs in strippa club. What’s a strippa club?”
Sir Nighteye said, “That word isn’t age-appropriate for you.”
“It has something to do with how the commercialization of Hero Society leads to the oversexualization of female heroes and encourages objectification and sexism.” Izuku frowned. “I don’t understand what most of that means, but I think it’s Dad’s excuse when he doesn’t want to buy me hero merchandise.” He perked up. “Ooo! But I do understand that when Mount Lady smashes up buildings during her fights, that makes the people who live there unhappy. Dad says the Hero Commishy is full of meanies who take the money supposed to use to rebuild houses and keep it for themselves. That’s bad.”
Hisashi’s eye twitched. “Kids. They say the darndest things. Am I right?”
“Your son certainly seems to have learned a lot from you,” Sir Nighteye said with a cold look.
What a blunder! How could Hisashi have known that his little beam of sunshine, his sweet, innocent boy, would take such an inopportune moment to repeat every criticism he’d ever said about heroes?
Izuku said, “I’m going to tell Wash about the weakness in his costume so he doesn’t get his face burned off.” He started to march over.
Sir Nighteye stepped in front of the boy. “We need to keep this tour on schedule. Besides, it’s better not to disturb heroes when they’re eating. They need rest after missions. I’ll tell him later.” His tone did not sound very sincere, but Izuku nodded. Hisashi was just as happy to escape.
At the elevator, Sir Nighteye bent over for a scan of his eyeball. “We have biometric security all over Might Tower.”
Izuku said cheerfully, “Impossible to break into, and Daddy certainly tried!”
Hisashi laughed loudly. “During our last heroes and villains game!”
Sir Nighteye grunted. His face remained very difficult to read, but Hisashi feared the sidekick was getting suspicious.
During the elevator ride, Hisashi looked for a good place sabotage the cables. Not while he was still in the building, but perhaps on his way out.
Sir Nighteye led them to another door guarded by a biometric scanner. “You may take an up-close look at All Might’s costume and equipment.”
Hisashi’s eyes lit up. Here was the moment he’d been waiting for. As Sir Nighteye explained how each piece of equipment worked, he catalogued all the information.
Izuku said, “Daddy said that All Might’s righthand glove has gotten weaker because he’s used it too often. Will you tell him?”
“That’s—” Sir Nighteye took a closer look at the glove. “Hmm. You may have a point. Thank you. I’ll make sure All Might knows.”
Hisashi winced. He’d spent months uncovering that weakness, and now it was useless. All because he’d spilled it to a kindergartner while trying to win an argument about if Daddy could defeat All Might.
Izuku skipped down the row of equipment. “David Shield designed this costume, didn’t he? Daddy says that he’s completely unbribable.”
“What a brilliant man!” Hisashi said loudly before his son could once again add, And Daddy certainly tried.
Sir Nigheye raised an eyebrow. “For someone who doesn’t like heroes, your father seems to know a lot about them. Is he a fan?”
Izuku giggled. “Not at all! Daddy likes super-billains.”
Hisashi interrupted, “I’m a super-big Brazilin soccer fan. I love how high they kick those balls to get them into the hoops!”
Sir Nighteye stared at him in a way that suggested he found this suspicious but didn’t know enough about soccer to say that it was wrong.
Sweat trickled down Hisashi’s neck. At this rate, he’d be lucky if his tour didn’t end at Tartarus.
Sir Nighteye took them to a meeting room with a wide-screen projector. “Here’s where All Might and his team plan how to take down villains.”
“Whoa! So cool!” Izuku leapt up and down and clapped his hands. “All Might is the best!”
This won a tiny smile from Sir Nighteye. “In addition to arresting criminals, All Might also assists with fires, natural disasters, and hikers lost in the wilderness.”
Izuku said, “Daddy says—”
“That all of that is great. Just great,” Hisashi said. Why had his genius intellect failed to realize that a child with no filter would inevitably repeat all his brilliant arguments against Hero Society in the middle of this delicate reconnaissance mission?
Izuku kept talking. “The increase in heroes has led to a decrease in police officers, firefighters, forest rangers, and other emergency serv—servish—people. The lack of specialization made disaster response inefficient—that means it doesn’t work well. Hero Society caused technological advances to completely stag—stagnate over the last century.”
Sir Nighteye glared. “If you dislike heroes so much, then why did you even want this tour?”
Izuku flashed a gap-toothed grin. “I love heroes! When I grow up, I’ll become a hero who solves all the problems that Daddy talks about so everyone becomes happy. No one else is doing anything about it, so I have to!”
Hisashi groaned. All his speeches had only pushed his son even more toward becoming a hero?
Sir Nighteye’s face softened. “That’s a very good answer.” He patted Izuku on the head. Hisashi resisted the urge to rip off his hand.
Izuku said, “Daddy wants to destroy Hero Society but I think that would lead to a lot of people getting hurt.”
Sir Nighteye’s stare bore into Hisashi. The villain thought fast. “All heroes except for All Might are corrupt. All Might is the one true hero.”
Sir Nighteye shook his head and muttered, “Oh, one of those. I suppose that explains why he brought enough merchandise to win the tour.”
Hisashi ground his teeth. All Might had a sect of creepy fans who believed he was the only worthy hero, hence why Hisashi had known pretending to be one of them would explain his dislike of heroes. But speaking those words had twisted his very soul.
This mission had damn well better turn out to be profitable or he was burning down Japan.
On the way out the door, Hisashi removed one of his shirt buttons. It had a microphone inside. He nudged it behind a trash can. All Might’s meeting room would be the ideal place to collect intel.
Izuku bent over and picked up the button. “Daddy, you dropped this.”
“Thank you, ducky,” Hisashi said between clenched teeth. He pocketed the button very quickly for fear of it being subjected to closer examination.
“Oh, no! You can’t wear your shirt if it’s broken!” Izuku looked sincerely concerned.
“It’s just one button.” Hisashi tried to smile, but after the day he’d had, it wasn’t coming easy.
Sir Nighteye said, “I have a satchel of All Might merchandise to give you after the tour. Would you like to wear one of our T-shirts?” He rooted around in the bag and found a blue T-shirt with All Might’s obnoxiously smiling face emblazed on the front.
Hisashi flinched. What if this was a test of his earlier claim to be an All Might fan?
Every particle of his being wanted to set that shirt on fire with his breath and then storm out. But Sir Nighteye was already suspicious of him. Although Hisashi fully expected to fight All Might someday, he couldn’t let it happen in the middle of his enemy’s headquarters. The security in Might Tower was truly impressive—otherwise Hisashi would have snuck in years ago and strangled One for All out of All Might in his sleep. Especially, Hisashi couldn’t afford to fight All Might with his son close enough to be caught in the crossfire. If the fiend took Izuku hostage then, unthinkable though it sounded, he might actually lose.
Hisashi had no choice but to swallow his humiliation and pull the All Might T-shirt over his head. He even had to pretend to like it. “This is such a wonderful gift. Thank you.”
Izuku clapped his hands. “You look so cool, Daddy! That’s a limited edition All Might fifth anniversary T-shirt!”
“How exciting,” Hisashi growled. The shirt was cruelly soft. The muscles in his face twitched and spazzed violently.
Sir Nighteye said, “You’re so happy to have that shirt you’re shaking.” He sounded impressed at this level of fanboy-ism. “Here, it comes with a matching hat.”
Before Hisashi could come up with an excuse, Sir Nighteye stuck the hat on his head.
After having gotten caught by his son once, Hisashi didn’t even dare think about sabotaging the elevator as they rode it. At this point, he just wanted this tour to be over so he could return home and burn the T-shirt.
He’d been paying so little attention to where they were going that it came as a complete surprise when Sir Nighteye opened the door to All Might’s office and revealed his smiling nemesis.
Several potted plants and a portrait of All Might decorated the spacious room. (He stares at a portrait of himself all day, what an egotist, Hisashi thought, conveniently forgetting about the much larger statue of himself in his own office.)
With a professional smile, All Might stood up. “It’s wonderful to meet you to. You’re—?”
Sir Nighteye said, “Hisashi Midoriya and his son, Izuku.” In a lower voice, he whispered, “The father is a fanboy to a creepy degree. You’d better watch to make sure he doesn’t make off with one of your hairs.” Hisashi’s advanced hearing picked up on every word. He ground his teeth.
“It’s the real All Might!” Izuku looked as if he was considering stuffing the hero into his satchel and taking him home.
All Might tousled his hair. “I’m always happy to meet a young fan.”
Infuriated at the blond oaf touching his son, Hisashi pushed between them.
“Now, now, I’ll shake your hand next,” All Might said. To his horror, Hisashi realized that All Might thought he was jealous. Oh, the humiliation.
All Might shook his hand. Sir Nighteye snapped a picture.
Hisashi ripped that camera from his hands and burned it, then he put a fist through Sir Nighteye’s chest and threw his corpse at his horrified mentor—
Except he didn’t actually do any of that, because if he fought All Might here then his cute little Izuku might get hurt. Hisashi just fantasied about murder while grimacing at the camera.
Izuku said, “Daddy says that All Might is—”
One more word from his son, and Hisashi’s hard work and sacrifices diverting suspicion would be ruined. He might even be hauled off for an interrogation in front of his son. Hisashi shouted, “All Might is the coolest hero!”
All Might blinked. “Why, thank you.”
“Daddy finally realized All Might’s amazingness!” Izuku clapped his hands. “This is the best day ever!”
Even if it took him the next decade, Hisashi was going to turn Japan into a pile of smoking ashes.
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: The Alternate Ending
Sir Nighteye: This picture will look great posted on our social media.
Hisashi: Hold up. I do not give you permission to post a humiliating picture of me wearing All Might merchandise while shaking Smiling Satan’s hand.
All Might: You already gave us permission to use your photos when you signed the paperwork accepting the free tour. This is a publicity stunt. Of course we’re going to publish the photos.
Sir Nighteye: My contacts have arranged for news articles around the world.
Hisashi: That does it. My line in the sand has been crossed. We’re having the epic One for All versus All for One showdown, right here and right now.
Later:
Inko: Dear, explain to me how you took Izuku to a tour of Might Tour and ended up thrown in Tartarus.
Hisashi: All Might is picking pieces of that camera out of his midsection. Totally worth it.
#
Omake: Incorrect Quotes, The Princess Bride Edition
Hisashi: I fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well known is this: never take a kindergartner to spy on your archnemesis.
Inko: That’s nice, dear, but I only asked you how the tour went.
#
Omake: The End of Izuku and Sir Nighteye’s Brief Friendship
Izuku: Daddy, I stole this key from Sir Nighteye’s pocket.
Hisashi: Thank you! This will be most useful. You’re daddy’s little future villain.
Later:
Hisashi: The key led to a warehouse of All Might merchandise.
Izuku: That’s mine now, right?
Hisashi: I should be angry, but honestly, you deserve the merchandise for being one of the few people to ever trick me. Well-played.
#
Omake: A Decade Later, After All Might Saw All for One’s Face in Battle
Izuku: Did you know I met you as a kindergartener?
All Might: I’m sorry, my boy, I’ve been to so many fan greeting events that I don’t remember.
Izuku: That’s okay. I have a picture here. It’s one of my treasures. This is me, and that’s my dad.
All Might: How did you photoshop All for One’s face in there? Very funny!
Izuku: Huh? I didn’t photoshop anything. There’s just you, me, and my father in the picture. All Might? Are you choking?
Later:
All for One: My fated archnemesis, at last it is time for our final showdown. I—why are you waving around a photo? No. It can’t be!
All Might: I had no idea you were such a big fan of mine. You even wore the hat.
All for One: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!