Work Text:
i know i've only felt religion when i've lied with you
~Colors, Halsey
It was pitch black outside at the cemetery with only thin streams of moonlight coming through the thick cloud cover. Several feet ahead of her, Riza could see the Colonel standing at Hughes’s grave. She looked around to see if there were any lost souls wandering about, but they were alone. It made sense; it was late. Past midnight, officially marking the Promised Day.
Riza took a deep breath in through her nose. She didn’t know what today would bring; she could only hope that their plan would work, and Amestris would be safe from the threat of the homunculi and their scheming. They’d worked hard over the past few months, made sacrifices. Riza had felt like she was walking on broken glass barefoot, but she’d made it through—to here, to today, to see Roy again.
The Colonel, she corrected herself. He couldn’t be Roy to her, not anymore, not with what they were planning. He had to be something different, something separate. They weren’t children anymore, weren’t Roy and Riza, weren’t the apprentice and the master’s daughter. They were the Colonel and the Lieutenant.
Riza shook her head and looked around once more. They’d been out in the open a little longer than she was comfortable with. Yes, Bradley and Selim—Wrath and Pride—had left Central, but there were several other homunculi unaccounted for, ones that could easily be sent after them.
Riza made her way towards the Colonel and stopped a few feet behind him. Though he didn’t react, Riza knew that he’d heard her approach. Sometimes, she marveled at how easily he trusted her, how easily he put his life in her hands. It was like a knife to the heart.
“Colonel,” she began but stopped when he turned around to face her. The look on his face, in his eyes… she couldn’t make her mouth form words. It was like he’d stolen the breath from her lungs, the way he gazed at her so softly, a smile just for her.
“Alright, then,” he said. “Let’s move out.” He brushed past her, heading for the car they’d taken to get here. The Colonel had given her money to buy a car under the name Elizabeth for today, so that they could reach the First Lady after she’d left town later in the morning.
Riza watched him go, an empty sensation in the pit of her stomach. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to do. And she could do none of it. There was a line, and it was one she couldn’t cross.
But as she made her way to the car, sliding into the passenger seat, Riza realized that at the end of the day, there might not be a line anymore. One of them could die; both of them could die. What was the point of a line in the sand when there was no ground beneath your feet? If she was already falling, what did she have to lose?
They were silent as they drove through the streets, echoing the quietness of the night. The Colonel pulled up behind the warehouse that they’d dubbed their meeting point for tonight and shut the car off. The lights inside the warehouse were off, Breda and Fuery probably asleep in the underground tunnels they’d discovered. Riza unbuckled from her seat and got out of the car. She met the Colonel on the other side, but stopped him with a touch on his arm before he could walk away.
“Lieutenant?” the Colonel asked after a moment of silence.
Riza looked up at him through her eyelashes, her hand sliding from his arm down to whisper across the back of his hand. He caught her fingers before they could leave his skin. Riza’s hand shook infinitesimally, and Roy slowly brought her knuckles up to his lips. Riza closed her eyes, a shaky sigh escaping her. Roy’s grip tightened on her hand.
Riza brought their hands to his cheek, letting her fingers caress it, before pulling his forehead down to lean against hers. For a moment, they just stood there, breaths intermingling.
“I’ve missed you,” Roy whispered.
Riza kept her eyes closed, unable to bear whatever she might see in his gaze. “I don’t work for you,” she said softly.
“Yes?” Confusion laced through his words.
Riza felt the urge to laugh but managed to keep it down. “So, tonight… I want you. I want to be with you.”
Under her fingertips, Roy froze. Hesitantly, Riza opened her eyes to see his burning. Her breath caught. She’d loaded the bullet in the chamber but had yet to pull the trigger.
The little distance between their lips was gone in an instant. Riza wasn’t entirely certain who moved first—if she’d gotten the courage to take the leap, or if he’d finally let what little control he’d had break. But his hands were on her hips, pulling her roughly into him, and her hands were in his hair, making sure he couldn’t escape.
Riza tilted her head and swept her tongue along the seam of Roy’s lips, which easily opened for her. She sighed as he licked into her mouth. Her hands dropped from his hair to clutch at his shoulders as he pressed her back against the car door, every part of him flush against every part of her.
Riza’s heart pounded in her chest, and her head felt light, like she’d just blown up a dozen balloons. She broke the kiss to gulp in a breath, but Roy simply moved his lips to her jaw, trailing kisses up to her ear, his mouth soft and wet and making Riza weak at the knees. His hands were burning through the material of her shirt, underneath the jacket she wore over it. She wanted him closer, impossibly closer. Her hand trailed down his military jacket, stopping at the first button. As if sensing her intention, Roy’s kisses paused, harsh pants in her ear.
“Backseat?” Riza asked breathlessly.
“Not exactly romantic,” Roy said, a bit self-deprecating.
“I don’t need romance.”
“But you deserve it.”
“I don’t deserve anything, but I want you.” Riza fumbled with the handle behind her and popped it open. “Let me have it?”
“I’ll let you have whatever you want.” Roy slid into the backseat, pulling her on top of him. Riza barely remembered to glance around, checking for any prying eyes, before shutting the door as quietly as she could manage.
Her jacket was off of her shoulders before she could react, Roy’s hands sliding up under her shirt to touch her bare waist and his mouth attaching itself to her neck. As she went about unbuttoning his jacket, he pressed kisses and soft bites to her throat, careful not to leave marks, and let his hands wander up her torso.
Riza undid his jacket in record time—she’d certainly never been that quick in removing her own—and pushed it off his shoulders. She nearly groaned when she saw his white button-up, all of those buttons, but Roy sucked harshly at her pulse point, and it turned into a gasp. His fingers traced the outline of her bra, tugging at her nipple until it formed a point. Heat pooled in her lower belly.
Riza untucked his shirt from his pants and began unbuttoning from the bottom up. As she worked her way through even more buttons, Roy undid her pants and snaked his hand into them. Riza’s eyes closed as he cupped her over her underwear, the cotton fabric dampening. He kept his other hand at her breast, reaching into the fabric and pinching her nipple.
They kissed again as fabric was pushed away, to the side and off of shoulders. Riza couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her as Roy’s finger rubbed over her folds, and she pushed herself harder into his chest, practically on his lap. The angle was awkward, but he didn’t let up, focusing on her pleasure far more than he’d ever focused on paperwork.
Riza could feel him hard against her thigh. She tilted her head back away from the kiss and let her hand trail down his chest and to his belt buckle. Roy made a low sound in his throat as she traced the outline of his cock through his pants. Riza moaned when his thumb circled her clit. Her vision turned hazy.
Riza’s hand rubbed against him lazily, but she was far more focused on what Roy was doing to her. He’d slipped a finger into her, crooking it ever so slightly to hit a spot that felt so right. Riza didn’t know how he seemed to know every spot that made her tick, how he was practically playing out the fantasies she’d had of him late at night when she touched herself.
Riza braced her hands on Roy’s shoulders, lifting herself onto her knees so Roy could have better access to her. He added another finger in, and she bit her lip, hard, to keep from crying out. Riza forced herself to look at Roy, to commit this moment to memory. His eyes were half-lidded and focused on her, watching where his hand disappeared in her pants. He had his bottom lip between his teeth, and every once in a while, she could hear his low groans over her whines and harsh breaths.
Roy’s thumb flicked her clit again just as he made eye contact with her, and her orgasm washed over her. She muffled her cries into his neck and took a moment to focus on her breathing as he worked her through it. Her body shook with little tremors when he finally removed his hand. She watched in dim shock as he brought his fingers to his mouth and licked them clean.
Riza pressed kisses into his shoulder and up his neck and jaw as she unbuckled his belt and pulled his cock out of his pants. He moaned when her hand wrapped around him, a high-pitched keening that sent another wave of heat right to her core.
“Do you—” Roy sucked in a breath as Riza’s thumb ran over the head of his cock. “Do you have a condom?”
“Why would I have a condom?” Riza asked, nuzzling into his neck. “I didn’t come into this night expecting to fuck my superior officer.”
“Former superior officer,” Roy corrected. Riza looked up to find him grinning, and she leaned in to kiss him, hard. She could taste herself, faintly, on his tongue.
“It’s okay,” Riza said when they broke away. “I trust you. And if we die tomorrow, it doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“You’re not going to die tomorrow,” Roy said firmly. Riza paused, her grip loosening. She stared at him, taking in his grim look, and raised a hand to his face.
“Then neither are you,” she said. “And if… something… comes of this that shouldn’t… I won’t regret it.”
Roy smiled and turned his head to kiss her palm. “Neither will I.”
“Okay.” Riza let out a breath, the word hanging in the air—part statement and part question. Together, they shimmied her pants and underwear down her legs, past her knees.
Roy grabbed her hips and positioned her over him. “Okay.”
Slowly, Riza slid down on his length until she was seated on his lap, his cock fully buried in her. Their moans overlapped as Riza gripped Roy’s shoulders, her nails digging into the skin. She gave herself a moment to adjust, then she began to circle her hips, trying to gain a rhythm. Roy’s head fell back, and Riza nipped at an exposed vein.
Roy maintained his grasp on her hips, but he seemed content to let her set the pace, just holding her there for the sake of touching her bare skin. His hand skimmed up to her right breast and began tugging and tweaking again, little shockwaves of pleasure arching through her body. Riza slid along his cock, grinding against him. If she tilted forward just right, his pelvis rubbed against a spot that made her body sing.
The feel of him inside her was a kind of fulfillment she’d never experienced, the slide of him along her inner walls as she moved up and down delicious. Riza wished that they had more time, that she could trace each and every ridge of his cock with her tongue, but they only had tonight and this moment, and this was more than enough.
His hands on her, his body under hers, him inside of her.
Riza didn’t know how long she’d wanted this, but now that she had it, the waiting from before felt both neverending and like nothing. She’d waited centuries and seconds; it felt both so worth it and not enough.
Then, Roy’s hand on her waist slid to her stomach. She felt him trace loops into her skin, over and over and over. Riza swallowed, not pausing her movement, but paid more attention to his finger.
I love you.
They couldn’t say it aloud, had never been able to, and saying it now didn’t feel right. Saying it under pressure, under the knowledge that one or both could die on the Promised Day, felt cheap. But his words on her skin was a promise itself—I’ll say it soon.
Riza buried her head in his shoulder as her orgasm hit her, this time slowly, lazily, taking its time as if they were two lovers in a bed on a rainy Sunday morning—nothing to do and nowhere to go. Roy groaned loudly and came after her.
For a moment, they sat there in each other’s arms, still entangled in one another. Riza knew that as soon as they moved, come would slide down her thighs, and they’d have to clean up and go back to the real world. But for now, this was all the world was—the two of them and the backseat of this car.
It was then Riza felt the burning in her thighs and the aching in her knees. While the seats of the car weren’t uncomfortable, the cushion was unforgiving after several minutes of repeated movement, it seemed. Carefully, Riza resituated so that her legs were wrapped around Roy’s waist with him still inside her.
“When we win,” Roy began lowly, moving her head so that he could stare into her eyes, “I’m going to take you back to my apartment, and I’m going to fuck you so hard that you forget this was our first time.”
Riza smiled. “Why would I want to forget?” She leaned forward and kissed him, bumping her nose against his.
Roy huffed. “I imagined being with you in so many different ways.”
“I did, too,” Riza admitted. “But this was better than all of them. Does that sound as cheesy as I thought it did?”
“A little.” Roy laughed. “I really did miss you.” He tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. Her clip had stayed in place, and so had her hair, for the most part, but several sweat-soaked strands stuck to her forehead and neck.
“I missed you, too.” Riza laid her head in the crook of his neck, content to stay in his arms for a few moments more.