Chapter Text
Nancy lets out a howl so full of pain it shakes her very bones, leaves her throat raw, breaks her breath apart till she can no longer scream, rips her from the inside out. So inhumane, so much like a wounded animal. She feels lightheaded, barely breathing, vision blurring with tears even as she can’t look away, face morphing into absolute horror and devastation. Everything happened so fast, one moment Robin was annoying her with her endless ramblings about rabies, the next she stood there motionless. Eyes going blank. Nancy felt like it was Barb all over again. Another friend lost.
Her knees felt weak, her body, her mind, weak. Everything about her is so very weak in this moment. If she didn’t hear Steve and the kids yelling next to her she would think she was being vecna’d. What could he possibly show her that would hurt more than this. Nothing.
She wants to scream some more, to kick and cry and fall to the ground sobbing, she wants to beg for this not to be real, she wants to race to the upside down and murder that bastard, she wants- she wants. She doesn’t know what she wants. She just knows it hurts. Even when she thought she was losing Steve it never hurt like this, nor Johnathan. Through her mind a million thoughts race, all leading to why. Why her, why Robin, why does it hurt so bad, why can’t this pain end, why why why why.
When Robin’s feet lift off the ground higher and higher it was enough to send Nancy into action begging “No!” As she jumps trying to catch Robin before she can float any higher, before shes out of reach. She latches onto her holding tighter the more Robin’s body struggles to float higher. “No, no you’re not taking her away from me, you’re not fucking taking her!” She feels the others pulling her back, yanking her body from all different direction. It hurts, she has always been weak and soft. Her mom would tell her how she was all bones when she worried Nancy wasn’t eating enough. But now she can feel it more than ever, as her weight isn’t enough to keep Robin grounded, as they pull on her arms and legs roughly keeping her and Robin as close to the ground as they can. Nancy can hear them yelling their names, cursing Vecna, while she clutches and cries feeling so useless. Until finally, finally, Robin’s body is pulled back on the floor, laying there almost lifeless, still in Vecnas trans. Eyes darting back and forth, seeing nothing. Nancy scrambles, making sure the fall didn’t hurt Robin.
Nancy’s panic haze gets worse when everyone is coming too close to her, too close to Robin. She feels like the smallest thing will make her crumble into dust. If they touch her she’ll wake up and Robin will be gone, just like Barb. She never told anyone about the nightmares, or the panic attacks after Barb. Nancy knew they would understand, but she hates being weak. Now she feels it again. The same dread when she woke up to find her missing.
Steve noticing Robin is still under Vecna, walks towards her. Acting on impulse she pushes him away as soon as he tries to get closer, not wanting him near Robin right now. Stay away from her, its your fault Barb is gone, if I hadn’t slept with you, if I’d just stayed with her. Don’t take Robin too. She knows its not true. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knows, but right now she cant think rationally, shes panicking. On the verge of a breakdown.
“Nance I-is she-“
“We don’t have time Steve. J-just get her the Walkman before it’s too-” He steps forward again cutting her off with his footsteps. She looks back at him with fire in her eyes, making sure he knows to back off and do as she says. Steve looks hurt as he glances one last time at Robin, tears in his eyes, lip quivering slightly before he straightens up. Trying too hard to be brave for them, like always. Before turning and calling for Max’s Walkman while frantically asking if she has Robin’s favorite song.
Drowning them out, she knows she should have let Steve near her, they are after all dating, no matter how much they deny it. “Platonic with a capital P.” yeah right. Nancy really can’t bring herself to care right now. So she holds onto Robin waiting for the damn Walkman. She knew they should have brought multiple with them. “Idiot” Nancy mumbles as she brings her hands up to caress Robin's face gently with her thumbs, tears that had been brimming in her eyes falling loose, “I can’t, I already lost a friend, I can’t lose you too, please Robin don’t leave me, please don’t leave me, I don’t- I can’t, I-I don’t want you to go” Nancy pulls her closer, so close she’s afraid she might break her. “this can’t be happening, Robin I-’’ a sob escapes her, whispering so low only Robin could hear, “I need you” she cradles Robin’s head with one hand as she hides her face in the crook of Robin’s neck breathing her in like she won’t be able to ever again. “Please.”
She doesn’t know what happens then, she can feel someone remove her from Robin, its Eddie she realizes.
He is looking at her with a worried expression, saying something she can’t make out. “Na- ou- alr-ght?”
She faintly sees Steve put the Walkman on Robin playing a song she can’t hear, so muffled, she sees him start to hold her like she did, she hears him say the very same words she did. And it hurts, everything hurts, she tries to take a step away when she hears someone calling her name in the distance before everything fades to black with a loud thud.