Chapter Text
It's summer. The heat is palpable and thick. Toge is on the porch, sitting in the shade, eating the watermelon his sister cut for them, the taste sweet on his tongue. His sister wipes off some of the juice that spills onto his cheeks.
“Onee-sama,” Toge begins, “are Yuuta and I gonna get married?”
“Eh?!”
Toge turns to see the boy sitting next to him drop his watermelon in shock, staining his kimono before it plops onto the ground. His cheeks flush red, eyes wide.
“M-Married? Me and…Toge-kun are gonna get…” Yuuta’s cheeks get even redder, something Toge didn’t know was possible, “...m-married?”
Utahime, his sister, blinks down at him in shock. She looks elegant as always, in her red and white kimono. “Where did you hear that?”
“The maids,” Toge answers bluntly. His sister sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Those women like to blabber about everything,” she grumbles. At Toge’s questioning look, she lets out a sigh. “Don’t worry about that, Toge. It’s more like, if you two got married, it’d be a good alliance for our families. But you’re much too young to even really consider that, now. Besides, it depends on what you two present as.”
“So we won’t get married?” Toge asks. Yuuta looks absolutely devastated by the news.
Utahime sighs again, but there’s a smile on her face as she rustles both of their hair, making them squirm. “Well. If one of you presents as an omega, and the other one as an alpha, or if you both present as betas…then father will probably want you two to marry.” she raises an eyebrow when both of them smile at this. “Why? Do you two want to get married?”
“That… sounds nice,” Yuuta stutters out. Toge just shrugs. He supposes it might be fun, at least. He doesn’t really get what marriage is anyway, just knows that for some reason, after you get married, you have to be together all the time. He’s already with Yuuta every day anyway, so it probably wouldn’t be that much different.
“Since Onee-sama is an omega and Satoru nii-sama is an alpha, you two can get married,” he proposes.
Utahime’s face looks as if she just stepped in dog poop. “I’d rather die. And you can’t call him Satoru nii-sama anymore, he’s the Count now.”
Toge scrunches his nose. He hands another watermelon slice to Yuuta, to replace his dropped one. Yuuta smiles at him in thanks, taking a bite. Utahime ruffles both of their heads again, making them squirm and complain. If Toge could spend time like this forever, he'd be perfectly content.
It’s only a few months later, that Toge loses his voice. He spends his sixth birthday on a sickbed, the doctor examining him, his sister and father looking down at him in worry.
A strange, unknown disease. Though Toge can speak a little, his throat suffers whenever it's for too long. His father immediately hires a JSL teacher for him. He diligently learns, not wanting to be a burden. He hates the way his sister and father look at him like they’re in pain. He doesn’t want them to worry about him anymore.
About a month or so later, Yuuta comes over for the first time in a while. With the whole fiasco, their family had shut their doors, not letting many guests come in.
Toge is in his room, studying JSL at his desk, when he hears a knock on his door, and the quiet sliding of it opening. He turns and sees Yuuta slowly poke his head in, eyes hesitant. Toge bites his lip but gestures him to come in, wringing his hands. Surely, the Gojo family has found out about Toge’s condition by now. He doesn’t know what it’ll be like between him and Yuuta now, now that Toge can’t speak.
Yuuta steps inside, sliding the door shut. For a moment, they just stare at each other, Yuuta shifting his weight from side to side, fidgeting. The atmosphere between them is awkward, something that's never happened before. Toge glances away, his heart feeling heavy.
“Um…hello, Toge-kun,” Yuuta eventually says, slowly signing along. Toge’s eyes widen. “I m-missed you…” he continues. His signs are clumsy and just finger spelling, but they're understandable.
Toge lets out a smile, feeling tears pool up in his eyes. He supposes he was worried for nothing. Me too , he signs back, and Yuuta beams at him.
He supposes that if he has to marry, Yuuta would be a good choice.
Of course, as Toge grows older, he realizes what marriage actually is, and why marriage between him and Yuuta matters so much. Since Yuuta’s older brother, Satoru Gojo, is a Count, their parents no longer in the picture, and Satoru childless with no intention to marry yet, as of now Yuuta will become the next Count. Toge’s father is only a Viscount, and their marriage would thus raise their family’s standing. Besides, with their families being long time friends, it’s not as if the arrangement is a purely political one.
Still, he doesn’t really think much about it.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta whispers. “A-Are you sure this is a good idea?”
Trust me, he signs back, peeking his head around the corner.
Currently, he's at the Gojo estate. The Count is hosting a party later in the evening, where of course many upper class people will attend. But Toge doesn't care about that. What he cares about is the trays of desserts the cooks are preparing for tonight.
Just one wouldn't hurt, he continues, to soothe Yuuta's nerves. They won't even notice we took any.
“If you’re sure…” Yuuta replies hesitantly.
Toge turns around and smiles at him, admiring the way the boy’s cheeks flush a little at the action. He turns back to peer into the kitchens, watching as cooks bustle around in a rush, making sure everything’s ready for tonight. He sees the trays of desserts laid out near the front.
Yuuta hovers behind him, peering over his shoulder. Just as he’s about to gesture at Yuuta that they should move, a voice cuts in.
“Oh? And what are you two doing?”
Toge nearly jumps out of his skin. Yuuta lets out a yelp, the two of them whirling around so fast they both lose their balance, stumbling together onto the floor.
“Onii-sama!” Yuuta whines. “Don’t startle us like that!”
Toge nods furiously in agreement, heart still pounding in his chest. Yuuta stands up, holding out a hand for Toge to grab. He accepts it graciously, letting the boy pull him up.
Gojo Satoru, dressed in a fancy dark blue kimono for the night, lets out a laugh. “Sorry, sorry.”
He peers around the corner where they’re looking at, eyes lighting up in understanding as he sees the dessert trays. “Ah, I see what’s happening here.” he crouches down behind them, hands on both their shoulders. “See, the trick is to actually grab the whole tray. It’s quicker than stumbling to grab them.”
Toge blinks up at the man, before nodding in understanding, eyes sparkling with what he knows Utahime would call trouble.
“You gotta wait for the right moment, too,” Gojo continues. The three of them wait, until the cook finally turns away. Gojo pushes their backs, urging them along. “Go go go!”
Toge grabs Yuuta’s hand as they sprint inside the kitchen, letting go only to grab the tray. The cook shouts in surprise, maids yelling after them as they run away, giggling.
“Boys, come back here!” the head maid yells angrily, only to splutter when Gojo steps out from where he’s hiding, the man slapping his knees as he howls with laughter.
“My lord, don’t encourage them!” she scolds.
The cook lets out a sigh. “Well, the Count did things like that all the time when he was younger.”
A maid in the hallway laughs kindly at them as they run by. “That Inumaki boy is an alpha for sure, with how he fools around just like the Count did. It’s so cute how the young master follows his schemes. Maybe he’ll be an omega?”
“Please,” another maid chides, “like any of that impacts what you present as. Besides, they’re only ten years old. They have a lot of time.”
They run out to the garden, hiding behind some tall bushes. Toge sits down on the ground, gently placing the tray in front of him, taking a moment to catch his breath. Yuuta’s also panting hard, the boy still standing but resting his hands on his knees.
“That was close!” Yuuta says, before peering over the bushes. “Looks like they lost sight of us.”
Toge nods, smiling. Suddenly, Yuuta begins to shake, making Toge tilt his head at him in concern. “Yuuta?”
The boy throws his head back, bursting out in laughter, clutching his stomach.
“That was so fun!” he exclaims, plopping down on his back, laying down next to Toge.
For just a moment, Toge finds himself feeling a bit awestruck. The carefree smile on Yuuta’s face, the flush in the boy’s cheeks, the way his bangs parts to show his forehead when he’s laying down like this— it’s enchanting, for some reason. He feels his heart flutter, and quickly glances away.
“So what’s our treasure?” Yuuta asks, sitting up and staring down at the tray. “Ah, there’s pudding!”
The two of them begin to pick away at the desserts. Toge has a feeling he might get a stomach ache from this later, but he doesn’t mind. Not when he’s with one of his bestest friends, chattering away and smiling so much his cheeks hurt. The party has probably started by now— but Toge would rather be here.
“Hey, Toge-kun,” Yuuta begins, staring down at his (second) pudding. “What do you want to present as?”
Toge shrugs. He knows the maids often talk about it, even his father and sister speculate about it once in a while. But Toge doesn’t really have a preference.
“M-My teacher says that you’re gonna be an alpha,” Yuuta mumbles. “Even Onii-sama says he could see you being one. But all the maids say I’m gonna be an omega…”
Do you want to be an alpha? Toge asks. He’s surprised at how let down the boy seems.
Yuuta blushes. “I-If Toge-kun presents as an alpha, then I want to be an omega. And if Toge-kun presents as an omega then I want to be an alpha. And… if you present as a beta, then I’ll be a beta too!” the boy declares, turning to look at him, eyes set in a determined glare.
Toge blinks at him, before letting out a laugh. It doesn’t work like that, dummy. At Yuuta’s discouraged look, he continues, it doesn’t matter what we present as. We’ll be best friends no matter what. He holds out his pinky, looking at the boy expectantly.
Yuuta stares at him for a moment before giving him a soft smile. “Yeah,” he agrees, interlocking his pinky with Toge’s. “That’s a promise.”
Still, the speculations follow the two of them wherever they go. A lot of people are hoping for their marriage, after all. If Toge were to present as an alpha and Yuuta an omega, then everything would be perfect.
Utahime always shuts down the conversation whenever she hears it, reassuring Toge. “You have plenty of time before you present, Toge. Just go and have fun.”
Toge ends up proving everyone wrong, including his sister.
Just a few months before he turns eleven, he wakes up feeling feverish, slick staining his sheets. Everything hurts. He cries out in pain, tears in his eyes.
Footsteps pound against the floorboards, and soon his sister slams open the door, eyes wide as she takes a moment to assess the situation. Toge flinches, nose crinkling. Now all of a sudden, he can smell his sister’s scent. Their father appears behind her, the alpha’s strong scent making Toge shake in fear. His sister seems to notice, sending their father out of the room, closing the door.
“You’re early,” Utahime says softly, quickly moving to pull Toge in her arms, stroking his hair. The usual time to present is from thirteen to fifteen years old. “It’ll be okay, Toge. Don’t worry. Just breathe.” she releases her scent, in hopes to soothe him. Now that he’s calmed down a bit, he’s able to appreciate the nice smell, taking a deep breath.
His first heat lasts five days. It is filled with discomfort and anxiety due to the rush of new senses he receives. Utahime takes care of him, checking in on him every hour or so, bathing him and resting cold towels on his forehead.
“I wanna see Yuuta,” Toge murmurs into his pillow, perhaps a bit deliriously. Utahime blinks down at him.
“He can’t see you when you’re like this, Toge,” she says. “Only omegas can be with you when you’re in heat, okay?”
Toge frowns. So if Yuuta presents as an omega like everyone says he will, they could spend their heats together? But then again, since Toge is an omega, if Yuuta presents as an omega, they can’t get married. Toge has never put much thought into their supposed marriage, or cared much about secondary sexes. But now, for some reason, the thought of Yuuta presenting as an omega causes disappointment to weigh down his heart.
When he wakes up five days later with the heat finally gone, the first thing he does is ask Utahime to see Yuuta. She frowns, insisting he rest more, but he’s persistent.
She sighs, giving in. “I’ll have one of the maids go to the Gojo estate.”
Yuuta arrives just after Toge has finished getting dressed from his bath. The boy slides open the door to Toge’s room just a crack, poking his head in.
“Toge-kun?” Yuuta greets hesitantly, stepping inside when he sees Toge standing by his bed. “I… I heard you presented. Congratulations—”
Toge tackles Yuuta into a hug, making the boy stagger on his feet for a second before he returns it. Toge buries his face into the boy’s neck. Yuuta smells like nothing. After days of new smells and sensations he doesn’t know how to handle, it’s unbelievably comforting. He feels tears well up in his eyes.
“T-Toge-kun?” Yuuta stutters, even as he tightens his grip on him. “What’s wrong?” he pulls back, concern spreading across his face when he sees tears drip down Toge’s cheeks..
“S-Scary…” Toge murmurs, before deciding to sign. It’s been so scary, presenting. I wish I never presented…
Yuuta studies him for a moment, before pulling him back into a hug. “It does seem scary,” Yuuta replies quietly, stroking Toge’s hair. “I’m sorry you’re not having a good time. But I’m here for you.”
Such simple words, yet Toge finds himself easily calming down from them. Only Yuuta can give Toge such easy peace. He tightens his grip, doing his best to get even closer to the boy.
They spend a long time like that, content in each other’s arms.
“The Marquis wants to meet with Toge,” his father says one evening, during dinner.
Utahime stares at their father in shock, her grip on her chopsticks switching from her elegant hold to a clenched fist. “Absolutely not. Toge is ten years old. He’s a child. ”
Toge tilts his head, not completely understanding the situation.
“It’s the Marquis, Utahime. I can’t just say no,” his father hisses, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You had courting meetings soon after you presented as well. You know this is how the aristocrats work.”
Ah. Courting meetings. After Toge presented, Utahime taught him about them, along with a lot of other omega things. If wanted, alphas from other families could request to meet with him to get to know him.
Why? He’d signed, eyebrows furrowing.
Utahime smiles wryly. “Well. For marriage, really. If, perhaps, you like this alpha enough, and they like you, we could arrange a match.”
But what about Yuuta? Toge had immediately thought, but didn’t dare ask. He knew how childish it would sound— Yuuta hasn’t even presented yet, and probably won’t for a few years. Besides, marriage between them was never a guaranteed thing. He’s not even sure why the thought came to him in the first place.
Utahime had insisted he didn’t need to worry about courting meetings yet anyway, since he’s still so young. He supposes she was wrong.
“I was fifteen, not ten!” Utahime snaps. At their father’s tired look, she sighs. “I can meet with him instead.”
Their father lets out a dry laugh. “Everyone knows you will most likely be engaged to Ieiri Shoko soon.”
Utahime flushes at this but stands her ground. “Can’t you tell the Marquis to wait until Toge is older? Once you agree to let him meet Toge, others will surely follow. We have to hold our ground now.”
Her reasoning makes their father pause. He sighs, nodding. “I’ll see what I can do.”
Thankfully, it works. The Marquis agrees to wait until Toge is thirteen, and all the other suitors receive the same condition.
“Not that that’s much better,” Utahime grumbles to herself when their father tells them the news. But Toge supposes that’s just how things are. In the aristocratic world, once you present, you’re seen as a potential marriage candidate.
“I don’t like this,” Yuuta huffs, crossing his arms. He’s over at the Inumaki residence today, and they’re walking together in the garden. “You shouldn’t have to meet with them if you don’t want to.”
Toge just shrugs. He crouches down to stare at some flowers, watching idly as a bee buzzes around, before landing on a yellow one. If it makes his father happy, Toge will meet with them. He doesn’t want to cause any more trouble than he already has.
Yuuta seems to get the gist of what he’s thinking about, because the boy scrunches his nose in disapproval, letting out a sigh. He sits down next to him, crossing his legs. “If I present as an alpha, I’ll court you.”
Toge stares at him in shock, body suddenly feeling warm. When Yuuta notices, his cheeks burn red, the boy waving his hands around frantically. “S-So that you won’t have to meet with the Marquis, or anything like that!” he blabbers, “instead, we can just meet up and do what we always do…b-but I guess, if you find someone you…like… then that might be a problem—”
“Yuuta,” Toge interrupts, smiling at him. That sounds nice.
This makes the boy freeze, a shy grin spreading across his lips. “R-Really?”
Toge nods. Yuuta looks giddy at his answer, and it makes Toge chuckle. What a dummy. He picks up a dandelion from the small patch that the gardeners must have missed, wiping the flower on Yuuta’s cheek, laughing when it leaves a yellow stain.
“Toge-kun?!” Yuuta exclaims, and Toge quickly stands up, running away when the boy tries to get him back, their laughter filling the air.
Unfortunately, when Toge turns thirteen, Yuuta shows no signs of presenting.
Of course, that’s completely normal. But it does mean that Toge has to start going to courting meetings with alphas he barely knows.
His first thought when he meets the Marquis for the first time, is that the man is much older than him. Though younger than his father, he’s probably a good twenty years older than Toge’s thirteen years. He’s dressed in a kimono Toge knows is made from expensive silk. Toge was also forced to dress up for the occasion, and he does his best to not loosen the obi Nobara had painstakingly tied for him. She’d probably kill him.
“Creep,” Nobara whispers quietly when they walk into the room and see the Marquis. The man is talking with Toge’s father, so thankfully he doesn’t notice. Toge holds back his laughter.
With his sister now engaged to Ieiri Shoko, she won't be around to help him deal with his heats or interpret JSL for him in the future. Thus, his father hired Nobara, an omega fluent in JSL to help him out, to prepare for when his sister will leave the house.
“That won’t be for a while, father,” Utahime had grumbled, but agreed it was a good idea nonetheless.
Toge likes Nobara. She’s a total spitfire, and often takes part in Toge’s pranks and shenanigans. Plus she also presented early, at age eleven, so they understand each other somewhat. He's glad that she’ll be with him for all his courting meetings.
“Toge-kun,” the Marquis says with a sweet tone. He forces himself not to cringe. “What do you like to do in your spare time?”
The two of them are kneeling on seat cushions, a table between them with tea. Toge has yet to touch his. It’s a bit hard to sign and drink tea at the same time, especially at the pace the Marquis is asking him questions. This courting meeting felt more like an interrogation.
Another thing that rests on the table is the necklace the man gave him. It’s very expensive and very gaudy, something Toge would never wear. When the Marquis gave it to him, he simply nodded his thanks and put it on the table, making the older man falter, laughing awkwardly. Perhaps he expected Toge to put it on.
Toge pauses at the man’s question. His free time is mostly spent with Yuuta.
“I often spend time with friends,” Nobara answers as she watches him sign.
“Friends?” the Marquis asks with a raised eyebrow. “Like who? I was not aware that you had many, since your father has kept you locked away.”
His father, who’s sitting in the corner as a chaperone, gives the man a look.
This was, in a sense, a bit true. Toge never really went to the events hosted by the other aristocratic families like his sister did, mostly because of his condition. JSL is still a new thing, after all. The only parties he ever went to were ones hosted by the Gojo family (which were very exclusive due to Satoru’s pickiness) or ones his family hosted themselves.
“Okkotsu Yuuta from the Gojo family,” Nobara replies for him.
“Ah, of course,” the Marquis says. “The Inumaki clan and Gojo clan are quite close, after all.”
Eventually, the meeting ends. It was filled with awkward silences and Toge’s stilted answers.
“Ugh,” Nobara grumbles as they walk back to his room. “That was absolutely terrible. He’s a total creep, and he’s boring? Pick a struggle! Why does a creep like him want to court a kid like you?”
I’m older than you, Toge signs back. Nobara ignores him.
There’s a lot of reasons, actually, for why the Marquis, and probably all of Toge’s other suitors, want to court him. Count Gojo’s influence is undeniable— the man is highly resourceful, and always gets things done. However, there are very few people that Gojo Satoru gives the time of day. The only family he’s openly made an alliance with is the Inumaki family. And not only that, the man has declared that he will never get married. Since Yuuta has yet to present, the only way to potentially sneak into Count Gojo’s tight circle as of now is to get close with the Inumaki clan. And very few people have seen the elusive youngest son of the Inumaki clan— their curiosity is piqued even more by this.
So Toge continues to go to courting meeting after courting meeting, forcing himself to pay attention to babbling alphas more than double his age that couldn’t care less about what Toge actually likes.
“If I present as an alpha, I’ll court you.”
Toge sighs. He wishes he were outside in the gardens with Yuuta instead.
They turn fourteen. Yuuta still doesn’t present.
When Toge wakes up from the last day of his heat, his sister is lying on the bed next to him, reading a book. A bowl of water with a towel inside rests next to her on the nightstand. He frowns at her. If she’s here now, then she must’ve taken care of him while he slept.
“Don’t give me that look,” Utahime scolds. “Nobara-chan was working hard all week, checking in on you. She deserved a break. And besides, shouldn’t I take care of you for as long as I can until I get married?”
Toge just huffs at her, even though he’s internally grateful for her help. He feels gross and sticky, wanting to take a bath, but there’s something he has to ask, first.
Utahime answers before he can even raise his hands. “He’s on his way already,” she says, closing her book. “So hurry up and bathe so we can change the sheets.”
Toge smiles his thanks, getting up. By the time he’s finished bathing, Yuuta is already on his now clean bed. The boy smiles softly at him, holding out his arms.
Toge doesn’t hesitate. He jumps onto the bed, snuggling in close to the boy. He finds himself releasing his scent, even though Yuuta wouldn’t be able to smell it anyway.
This had become a routine between them, ever since Toge presented. After Toge finished his heat, Yuuta would come over and hold him. He’s not really sure why, but it always made him feel at ease, like Yuuta was erasing all the struggles of the heat away.
“How are you feeling?” Yuuta asks.
“Fine,” he murmurs, closing his eyes. He brings his hands up to sign. Better now that you’re here.
Yuuta pulls him in closer. “I’m glad.”
Toge sighs, burying his face in Yuuta’s neck. He finds himself rubbing his cheek against the skin, humming in pleasure. It’s only when his scent is filling the air that he realizes what he’s done, and he tenses, springing off the other, eyes wide.
What was he thinking, scenting Yuuta? Is he an absolute idiot?
Yuuta blinks down at him, concern in his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
Oh. That’s right. Yuuta can’t smell anything. But that doesn’t do much to calm the way his heart pounds in his chest. Toge hesitates, before shaking his head, laying back down again. Though now, he rests his head on Yuuta’s chest, staying away from the boy’s neck as much as possible.
Eventually, Nobara comes in to tell Yuuta that he has to go home. The boy nods, standing up. He pats Toge’s head one last time. “I’ll see you later, Toge-kun.”
He just nods in response.
When Yuuta walks past Nobara, the girl stiffens, eyes wide. Quite obviously, she’s noticed what Toge has done, and she glances at him with a sharp look.
Yuuta tilts his head. “Is something wrong?”
“..Nothing,” Nobara responds, when she sees Toge’s panicked face. “I’ll walk you out, beansprout.”
Yuuta smiles weakly. “How long are you gonna call me that, Kugisaki-san…”
When Nobara returns, she glares at him. “What on earth are you doing?”
Don’t, Toge signs back tiredly, I know, okay? So just leave it.
Nobara studies him for a second, before letting out a sigh. “I’ve always wanted to ask this, but what exactly are you two?”
Toge raises his hands to respond, only to realize he doesn’t even know how to answer. What are he and Yuuta? He’s Toge’s closest friend. Yuuta makes him feel safe, makes happiness easy. He doesn’t know what he’d do without him.
Nobara seems to realize he’s at a loss for words, because she backs off, letting out a huff. “Well, don’t scent him anymore, unless you want people getting the wrong idea. And it’s not good to scent people who haven’t presented yet. He can’t even tell when you do it.”
Yeah, Toge agrees. Guilt still grips his heart, weighing it down. I won’t. Don’t worry.
Utahime and Ieiri Shoko finally get married. It’s a small, intimate thing, like both of them wanted. Toge feels himself tear up when he says goodbye to his sister as she moves into her new home.
“Don’t cry,” Utahime chides, even as she’s in tears herself, pulling Toge into a hug. She’s still in her wedding kimono. “I’m only a short distance away. Visit me whenever, okay?”
Toge nods into her chest.
He holds Yuuta’s hand as they watch her and Shoko leave, the wedding party cheering for the new happy couple.
Toge presented quite early, but Yuuta in comparison, is presenting quite late. The two of them turn fifteen, then sixteen, without even a hint of Yuuta presenting at all. In this time, Toge’s still been dutifully going to courting meetings, though each one is as stale and stifled as the last. The JSL creates an extra barrier between him and his suitors, and to be quite honest, Toge has found himself unbelievably tired of the small talk. It’s not that Toge is trying to be rude— it’s just that he simply doesn’t have much interest and he and his suitors often lack things in common. Besides, he knows most of them are there for political reasons only.
But because of the awkward meetings, many suitors have given up on trying to court him.
Except the Marquis.
“Perhaps he really does have a thing for you after all,” Nobara mutters as she helps him with his obi. “What a creepy pervert.”
The Marquis had made a surprise visit to their estate. His family is in no position to refuse the man, and so he often uses that to his advantage.
Toge had been hanging out with Yuuta when his father had informed them of the Marquis’ arrival. Yuuta had just smiled, though it seemed a bit empty, and said he’d wait for Toge in the gardens.
Toge hates the Marquis. He hates the way the man stares at him, hates the way he smiles whenever Toge accepts his gifts, not knowing how to refuse them without upsetting the man. He hates the way the man’s touch lingers. It makes his stomach churn with discomfort, makes him want to run away. Every meeting with the man makes Toge feel nauseous and dirty. He doesn’t want to see him. He wants to go out to the gardens with Yuuta. Why did the Marquis have to come today?
“All done,” Nobara declares, the two of them staring into the mirror. He’s dressed in a pale blue kimono this time, made with the finest fabrics. “Are you ready?”
The thought of seeing the Marquis makes his stomach twist. Can you go ahead and tell the Marquis I’ll be there soon? He signs. I just need to… mentally prepare.
Nobara nods in understanding, patting him on the shoulder. “Take your time,” she says, walking out of the room.
Toge waits for a moment, peering out his room, waiting for Nobara to turn the corner. The moment she’s out of sight, he runs down the hallway, towards the gardens.
It’s getting colder. The air nips at his skin as he runs through the pathways. He’s sure it’ll start snowing soon.
He finds Yuuta sitting on one of the benches. The boy has a scarf wrapped around his neck, and an extra layer over his kimono to keep warm. He looks up at Toge in shock.
“Toge-kun?” he questions, as Toge sits down next to him. “Aren’t you supposed to be with the Marquis?”
Toge sighs. He rests his head against Yuuta’s shoulder, relishing in the warmth. I’d rather be here, he signs.
Yuuta doesn’t answer, but he does lean over, resting his head on top of Toge’s. They spend a few moments just like that, enjoying each other’s touch.
Not for the first time, Toge wishes he never presented. If he didn’t, then he could’ve been able to spend time with Yuuta like this every day, instead of courting meeting after courting meeting.
“You must be cold,” Yuuta says, just as Toge lets out a small shiver. He straightens up, unwrapping his scarf so he can wrap it around Toge’s neck instead. It’s warm. Toge buries his face in it.
Yuuta smiles at the action. He raises his hand to tuck Toge’s hair behind his ears, and the brush of his fingers makes Toge hold back a shiver. He turns to look at the boy, tilting his head.
There’s something intense in Yuuta’s gaze, something that pins him down and makes him feel like he shouldn’t move. Instead of lowering his hand again, Yuuta cups his cheek, stare still unrelenting. Yuuta’s palm is warm. He finds himself leaning into the touch, Yuuta’s breath hitching in response. All of a sudden, Toge realizes how close he and Yuuta are. Did he lean in or did Yuuta? Almost against his will, his eyes flicker down to Yuuta’s lips.
“Toge! Where the heck did you go?”
Nobara’s voice snaps the two of them out of their stupor. Toge pulls back, glancing away. His face feels hot. Yuuta’s hand falls back down to his side.
I should go, Toge signs, standing up, but Yuuta grabs his wrist.
“Don’t go,” the boy pleads, the urgency in his tone taking Toge off guard. He glances at the boy with wide eyes. Yuuta is looking at him like he never has before—there is something hungry, something desperate lurking behind his gaze. He feels his heart begin to pound.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta begins, “I—”
“There you are, Toge-kun.”
The two of them whirl around to see the Marquis. Toge was so focused on Yuuta he didn’t even sense the man approaching. Yuuta lets go of his wrist, standing up and bowing to the man, Toge mirroring him.
“Marquis Koga,” Yuuta greets stiffly. His jaw is clenched tight.
The Marquis pays Yuuta little mind. Instead he just nods at Toge, smiling. “I thought I smelled you over here, but I wasn’t sure,” the man says, before eyeing Yuuta’s scarf around his neck. “I see now it’s because your sweet scent was tainted.”
He sees Yuuta tense at this, hands clenched into fists. Toge forces himself not to cringe at the comment, uncomfortable by it.
“Come along now,” the Marquis urges, holding out a hand. “We have a lot to talk about today, Toge-kun.”
Toge doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to grab the Marquis’ hand. He doesn’t want to get close to the alpha whose scent is so strong and overbearing it almost makes him queasy. At his lack of response, the Marquis’ scent spikes with anger, and he feels himself begin to tremble. He moves behind Yuuta on instinct, wanting to hide. This just makes the Marquis angrier.
“Come on now,” the Marquis hisses. “I’ve been quite patient throughout this whole ordeal. Is this how you’re going to repay me for all your courting gifts?” he steps closer, only for Yuuta to hold out his arm, keeping Toge behind him.
“With all due respect sir,” Yuuta begins, “every respectable alpha knows that it’s the omega’s decision to accept you, no matter how many courting gifts you give.”
The Marquis laughs at this. “And why is a beta lecturing me on how alphas should behave?”
Yuuta grits his teeth. “I’ve actually yet to present, sir.”
The man lets out a scoff. “If you haven’t presented yet at that age, then the only thing you can present as is a beta, boy.”
Yuuta glares at him but doesn’t respond, not moving.
“Let’s go, Toge-kun,” the Marquis orders, releasing pheromones into the air. It makes his head feel fuzzy. When he realizes what’s happening, Toge begins to panic at the way the man tries to get him to submit to his will, the man’s scent overwhelming. Anxiety rushes through his body, and he feels tears well up in his eyes as he tries to fight it.
“What are you doing?” Yuuta asks angrily, looking over at Toge in concern. “ Enough, Marquis Koga—”
“Marquis Koga!”
His father rushes onto the scene, growling at the man. Nobara is behind him, eyes wide. His father’s own alpha pheromones release into the air. “You dare try to force your will onto my son?”
This seems to knock the Marquis out of his stupor, pheromones fading. Toge drops down onto his knees, trembling. It’s as if all energy has been sucked out of his body.
“Toge-kun!” Yuuta calls out, turning around and wrapping his arm around him. Nobara quickly runs over, resting her hand on his shoulder.
“Leave,” his father orders, lips pulled back into a snarl. “And do not come back here again.”
The Marquis grits his teeth, but nods, walking away, his father calling some alphas to escort him out.
“Are you okay, Toge?” Nobara asks, and he manages to nod.
“Let’s get him inside,” his father suggests calmly, despite ire still etched onto his features. “It’s cold out here.”
Toge tries to stand up, but finds himself still shaking. Yuuta ends up picking him up, keeping him close against his chest. If he were in a better state of mind, he might’ve been more surprised at the fact that Yuuta has grown strong enough to do that.
Yuuta carries him into his room. Nobara goes to get some warm tea at his father’s request, the man walking away, probably to deal with the aftermath of the whole thing. Yuuta gently lays him down on his bed, before immediately turning away from him.
“I’ll go get you some water,” the boy says stiffly, beginning to walk away, only to stop when Toge grabs his hand.
“Yuuta?” he whispers softly, staring at the back of the boy’s head. This whole time, Yuuta had been terribly quiet, face expressionless.
“It’s nothing,” the boy says, attempting to pull away, but Toge keeps his grip firm.
Yuuta finally turns to look at him, and for a second he’s taken back at how angry the boy looks, eyes dark.
“I couldn’t do anything,” Yuuta bites out, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “If your father didn’t come, something terrible could’ve happened. I was so— so useless— ”
“Yuuta,” Toge placates, letting go of the boy’s hand to sign. That’s not your fault .
That seems to be the wrong thing to say, because Yuuta grimaces. “Toge-kun, I—” the boy cuts himself off, hand back in his hair again. “I care about you,” he eventually says. “I want to be able to protect you.”
Toge tilts his head. He would never want to burden Yuuta with that responsibility. I don’t need you to, he signs.
He immediately regrets his words, because something in Yuuta’s expression shuts down, face turning emotionless. His dark eyes turn eerily empty.
“Right,” Yuuta says with a bitter laugh. “You don’t. Of course. Sorry.” the boy turns around again, but Toge stops him once more, grabbing his wrist. He doesn’t know exactly what just happened, but he knows that he just messed up really badly somehow and that Yuuta’s upset.
Yuuta grits his teeth. “Let me go, Toge-kun.”
“No,” he replies.
“Toge-kun—”
“No!” he cuts in stubbornly.
Yuuta sighs, closing his eyes. “Let me just calm myself down for a second,” he pleads, pulling against his hold, but Toge has always been a headstrong boy at heart. He pulls back with all his strength, taking Yuuta off guard, and the boy loses his footing. He lands on top of Toge on the bed, arms scrambling to prop himself up so he doesn’t completely crush him.
Despite that, Toge finds his breath stuttering in his throat. Yuuta’s hands and elbows are by the side of his head, his body pressed against his own. Their faces are mere inches apart. Yuuta’s body feels warm. He can feel his breath on his cheeks, finds himself staring deep into the other's dark eyes.
This time, Yuuta is the one to glance down at his lips. He feels his face flush hot, and he glances down at Yuuta’s lips too, heart rearing in his chest.
A knock on the door cuts through the atmosphere like a knife. Yuuta immediately gets off of him, standing up, avoiding Toge’s gaze. Nobara comes inside with Toge’s tea, glancing between the two of them when she notices the awkward tension.
“Did I interrupt something?” she asks.
“I’m going to go,” Yuuta deflects, turning away. “I’ll see you later, Toge-kun.”
He and Nobara watch the boy walk out of the room in silence. When Yuuta closes the door behind him, Toge buries his face in his hands. His cheeks still feel like they’re on fire.
“Oi,” Nobara gripes, “seriously, what happened just now?”
Toge doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know what to say.
“Toge,” his father calls out to him, when he’s walking past his office. “A word?”
Toge pauses, but nods, walking inside. His father gestures him to sit, and he does, kneeling down at the table.
Like always, his father is straight to the point. “You won’t have to meet up with the Marquis any more.”
Toge nods. Though that was expected, he’s still grateful. His father’s next words do take him by surprise, though.
“And you won’t have any more courting meetings.”
He freezes, eyes wide. Why?
His father lets out a small laugh. “I mean, you never wanted to do them in the first place, did you?”
Toge doesn’t answer, glancing down at his hands. Though that was true, he didn’t want to cause problems for his father by ruining political connections.
“Toge,” his father says, making him look up again. “You have always been a good child."
Toge doesn't say anything, unsure of where this is going.
"Though mischievous at times,” his father continues with a wry smile, “you’ve always done what I told you to do, never wanting to cause trouble. I’m realizing now that that might not have been a good thing.”
Toge starts. Father—
He holds up his hand, stopping him in his tracks. “I should have never let the Marquis see you in the first place. I knew what kind of man he was. But I was too complacent in stupid political games. For that, I’m truly sorry Toge.”
You don’t have to apologize, he signs. His father just smiles tiredly at him.
"I do, and I'm sure your sister will make sure I apologize over and over again," he jests, moving over and resting a hand on his shoulder. There's a pause in which his father takes a moment to study him, expression unreadable.
“It’s okay to say no, Toge. It’s okay to make trouble, especially if it’s for your sake. It doesn’t mean you’re a burden,” he reassures. “You are far from it. I am proud to have you as my son. What I want the most for you is your happiness.”
He feels his eyes begin to water, though he’s not exactly sure why. He nods, eyes burning from holding back his tears.
His father pats him on the back, moving back to his desk. “It’s late. You should head to bed.”
Toge nods again, standing up. Goodnight, father.
“Oh, one more thing,” his father calls out when Toge’s at the door. He turns to look at the man in question, tilting his head.
“If there’s someone who you want to court you,” his father says, and there’s something knowing in the man’s eyes, “feel free to let me know.”
Toge blinks at him for a few moments before nodding, walking out and closing the door.
Someone who Toge wants to court him.
Against his will, the memory of Yuuta laying on top of him earlier today flashes through his mind. He flushes, smacking his cheeks as he quickly walks back to his bedroom.
Toge’s next heat is a nightmare.
Since he presented when he was so young, heats have never really been that sexual to him. In the beginning, he’d only snuggle into the sheets, his sister’s calming scent soothing away the pain. As he got older, he’d occasionally touch himself, but that was more to just get rid of the pain than anything else.
This time though, Toge’s plagued by thoughts of too familiar dark blue eyes, of black hair, of strong arms holding him close, a warm palm against his cheek. He finds himself replaying the memory of Yuuta on top of him as he ruts into his pillow, trembling with need. It’s not enough.
With shaking hands, he reaches behind him, inserting a finger inside of himself. Feels himself flush at how wet he is. He’s never actually done this before. He lets out a small moan at the feeling, quickly working a rhythm. Adds another finger. And then another. He starts to pant, continuing to rub himself against his pillow. He’s close.
He imagines Yuuta next to him. Maybe watching him. Maybe helping him, his fingers inside of him instead of Toge’s. He whimpers, picking up the pace.
“Come for me, Toge-kun.”
His vision goes white, his body shaking as he makes a mess of his pillow and sheets. He lets out a broken moan, doing his best to prolong his orgasm, fingers still inside him. Tries not to cry when the heat barely resides, still hungry for more.
Again, Yuuta’s face flashes in his mind. He bites his lip.
He needs more.
When his heat finally breaks, he wakes up with unbearable shame and guilt. He spent the whole week fantasizing about Yuuta.
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, he managed not to make it obvious who he was yearning for the whole week, because Nobara calls Yuuta over like everything’s perfectly normal. In fact, she gives him the strangest look when he panics at the information.
“What’s with that reaction?” she questions with a raised eyebrow. “Your sister says this is what you always do, isn’t it?”
Yeah, Toge signs, glancing away. He forces himself to get up, heading straight to the bath.
He actually hasn’t seen Yuuta since the incident with the Marquis a few weeks ago. This is mostly due to the fact that the other seems to be busy lately, Count Gojo making him more involved in the political matters of their household.
When he gets out of the bath, Yuuta still hasn’t arrived, so he decides to settle back into his (now clean) bed. He feels himself getting anxious, and inwardly berates himself for it. This is just Yuuta. Sure, perhaps recently things have been a bit… weird, but Yuuta is still Toge’s best friend. He just needs to act normally.
When Yuuta arrives, the boy hesitantly entering his room, the two of them just stare at each other. Despite the fact that Yuuta's all he's been thinking about the last week, Toge is still surprised at the sudden want that rises out of him when he sees the other, when he stares at the way the boy’s kimono hangs off his figure and the lines of his face. Handsome. Yuuta is handsome. He’s not sure why it suddenly feels like a new fact. He feels a blush spread across his cheeks and quickly glances away, staring down at his hands.
“I’m sorry!” Yuuta suddenly exclaims, startling him. He glances back up at the other with wide eyes.
Yuuta’s bowing his head, cheeks red, eyes squeezed shut as if he can’t bear to see Toge’s reaction. “Last time… you were already shaken up, and I probably just made it worse… I’m sorry, Toge-kun. I shouldn’t have gotten angry. If you’re still upset with me, I understand—”
“Yuuta,” Toge cuts in, feeling a smile spread across his lips. Yuuta acting like his usual flustered self calms him down extremely for some reason. He holds open his arms, a silent invitation.
Yuuta blinks at him for a few moments before letting out a shy grin, crawling up on his bed. Toge immediately cuddles in close, resting his head on Yuuta’s chest. Sighs in pleasure when Yuuta wraps his arms around him. He can hear the boy’s heartbeat like this, and feels lulled by the sound. Strange, how Yuuta had been the source of his anxiety a few moments ago but is now the reason for his contentment.
It’s then, that Toge realizes it. He almost wants to slap himself at how stupid he’s been. All his life, the only person for him has been Yuuta. He always makes Toge feel safe, makes him feel loved. He understands Toge like no one else does.
“If there’s someone who you want to court you, feel free to let me know.”
He opens his mouth to call out Yuuta’s name, only for the boy to start speaking instead.
“I heard that you’re no longer going to do courting meetings anymore,” he says, running his fingers through Toge’s hair. “That’s good, right?”
Toge nods. He bites his lip, wondering if he should take the plunge, now that Yuuta brought the topic up. But Yuuta keeps talking.
“That makes me feel a little better about leaving you alone and going abroad.”
This makes Toge freeze. He sits up quickly, staring at the other with wide eyes. What? He signs aggressively.
Yuuta blinks at him. “Did… no one tell you? I guess you were in heat, after all…” he mumbles to himself, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “Onii-sama is sending me off to study abroad in London. He thinks it’ll be good for me, especially if I take over his position some day…”
It’s as if cold water has been dumped over his body. Toge curls in on himself, glancing away. Leaving. Yuuta’s leaving.
How long? He asks.
“At least a year,” Yuuta answers hesitantly. “Maybe more. I’m not sure yet. But I’ll write to you everyday!” he quickly adds, when he sees how upset Toge gets. He pulls him in for a hug. “I’m sorry. You just had your heat, and now I just sprung this onto you—”
“No,” Toge interrupts, forcing a smile. Don’t apologize. This is an exciting thing. I’m… he pauses, staring at his hands for a moment, before continuing. I’m just going to miss you.
He realizes now how foolish he’d been, getting ahead of himself like that. Just because Toge wants Yuuta to court him doesn’t mean Yuuta had any intentions to do so. And besides, he hasn't even presented yet and to court Toge while he's yet to present would surely be inappropriate. He doubts his father would allow Yuuta to court him in the first place.
“I’m going to miss you too,” Yuuta responds softly. Toge snuggles close to him again, closing his eyes. He’ll just relish the time he has with Yuuta until he leaves.
“You’re literally an idiot,” Nobara huffs, pointing her dango at him. It's late at night, and the two of them are in Toge's bedroom, sneaking in desserts.
Thanks, Toge replies dryly, taking a bite of his own dango. He's caught Nobara up to speed, for the most part, about his emotional anguish towards a certain dark haired boy.
The girl huffs again. "Now I know why you two have been all over each other these days,” she grumbles. “Then again, you guys have always been like that.”
Yuuta is leaving tomorrow. The two of them have spent the past few days glued to the hip, wanting to make the most of their time together before Yuuta leaves.
“Why are you just telling me this now?” Nobara complains. “We could’ve come up with a plan to make him stay.”
Toge gives her a look. As if he would ever do that. Studying abroad is a big deal for Yuuta, and he would never want to ruin it.
“You should just tell him how you feel,” she says. “He’s like, totally into you too.”
Don’t get my hopes up, Toge chides her. This time, it's Nobara that gives him a look.
“You really are an idiot,” she says in exaggerated awe, eyes wide. Toge sticks his tongue out at her.
The next morning, his family and Nobara head over to the Gojo estate, to send Yuuta off. His sister and Shoko are also there, Utahime giving him a hug in greeting.
Yuuta is wearing a western suit, and Toge can’t help but admire how well it suits his figure. The boy takes his time saying goodbye to everyone, humble and gracious as always. When he reaches Toge, the two of them stare at each other for a moment before Toge tackles him into a hug, grip tight. Yuuta hugs him back just as hard, burying his face into Toge’s shoulder.
“I’ll write to you every day,” he promises.
“Mhm,” he quietly says in response. “I’ll miss you.”
“I already miss you,” Yuuta says back and his cheeks burn at the boy’s earnesty.
They walk with Yuuta out to the carriage, Gojo and the maids helping him with his things. When Yuuta steps onto the carriage, he hesitates, suddenly turning around. He walks back towards Toge, something intense in his eyes.
“Toge-kun,” he begins. Toge just tilts his head at him in question. A faint blush spreads across the boy’s cheeks.
“Toge-kun,” he says again, “I—” he glances away, before making eye contact with him again, gaze more determined. He reaches down and grabs Toge’s hand, giving it a gentle, lingering kiss.
The maids gasp in excitement, but Toge can barely hear them over the pounding of his own heart. He gapes at Yuuta, eyes wide. His whole body heats up with a flush.
“I’ll write to you,” Yuuta promises again, lips brushing against his skin. He then lets go and walks back into the carriage, never turning back.
They watch the carriage leave in silence. Toge forces himself to ignore the stares his family is giving him, along with Gojo’s shit eating grin, even as his cheeks continue to flush pink. His hand still tingles with the feeling of Yuuta’s lips.
“I told you,” Nobara jabs at him, and he glares at her before turning away, rushing back into the house. He hides himself in a corner, dropping down to a crouch and burying his face in his hands. His heart is still racing.
You’re such a dummy, Yuuta, he thinks to himself. He can't stop smiling.
"You've got a letter, Toge-sama," a maid says, bowing as she hands it over. It takes all of Toge's self control to not snatch it out of her hands like a wild animal. He nods as he takes it, turning it around to see the sender. Okkotsu Yuuta, written in Yuuta's neat handwriting. He smiles.
"It must be from Yuuta-sama," the maid says with a knowing grin and Toge flushes, nodding again. All the maids are convinced he and Yuuta are an official item right now, despite his denial.
"He kissed you!" Nobara had yelled at him.
On the hand! It doesn't mean anything! He had shot back. Her reply was a murderous expression that made him fear for his life, for a moment.
He supposes it is juicy gossip. The omega son of the Inumaki family being in love with a boy who hasn't presented yet.
He hurries to his room, sliding the door shut. He leans against it as he opens the letter, unable to wait any longer.
My Dearest Toge,
Just the first line is enough to make Toge blush. He presses the letter against his chest, taking a moment to calm himself, before beginning to read again.
I hope you’re doing well. I’m finally in London. It’s beautiful, but overwhelming. I think I’ll get used to it. I’m staying with Onii-sama’s acquaintances, the Fushiguros. They have a son, Megumi-kun, who’s around our age. He’s nice, but a little reserved. I’m just glad they can speak japanese and that his mother cooks japanese food. English food isn’t really to my taste.
Yuuta continues to update him on what’s been going on with his life, and Toge can’t help but laugh a little. The boy’s writing is rambly and overly detailed, his letter long and a bit all over the place. But it’s so very much Yuuta. He can’t help but find it endearing.
The school I’m going to has a beautiful garden. Whenever I see it I think of you.
Sincerely yours,
Yuuta
He resists the urge to scream, instead jumping onto his bed and burying his face into his pillow, making sure the letter doesn’t wrinkle. He rolls over to his side, looking at the letter again. He can’t fight the smile that spreads across his lips.
Sincerely yours. A typical way to end a letter, but for some reason it feels so much more intimate in Yuuta’s handwriting.
He sits up and heads to his desk, pulling out some paper.
My Dearest Yuuta, he writes, despite feeling strongly embarrassed about it, cheeks red with bashfulness.
London sounds wonderful. I’m glad you’re settling in well. Megumi-san sounds like a tsundere. Things are still the same around here, but father and I decided that I should go to more social events with him. Nobara will have to come along— she’s excited about that.
He continues to update Yuuta on everything going on here, along with responding to some of the boy’s comments and questions. To end it, he debates with himself for a long time, biting his lip, before deciding to go with what he’s thinking.
The gardens here are not the same without you.
Sincerely yours,
Toge
They continue to exchange letters as often as they can. Toge keeps all the letters Yuuta sends him in a decorative box on his desk. When he's waiting for Yuuta's next letter, he finds himself reading through the old ones he's sent, heart fluttering in his chest.
The thing is, Yuuta's letters are…
A bit romantic.
He had thought that the first letter was a fluke. Yuuta’s a bit of an airhead, often saying things without realizing how they could be interpreted. But…
I went sightseeing today. I couldn't help but think the scenery would've looked better if you were in it.
The school garden has wonderful lilacs that almost match the beauty of your eyes.
I would say that I miss you, but really with you, forever isn't long enough.
Toge’s not imagining this, right?
“He is so corny,” Nobara grumbles when she reads through the letter Toge deemed the least embarrassing for her to read, ignoring Toge’s glare. “But yeah, he’s totally flirting. That beansprout has more guts than I thought.”
A light suddenly appears in her eyes as she glances at Toge excitingly. “Do you need help in writing him back? I’m totally good at stuff like this!”
No, Toge signs back bluntly, making her complain. It’s a bit unexpected, this side of Yuuta. He can’t say he minds it though— he reads the boy’s letters with a smile on his face every time, unable to stop the pink that flushes his cheeks. He feels unbelievably flattered, but also a bit anxious, unsure of how to reply. Not to mention, what exactly did this mean? Does Yuuta truly like him? The two of them have yet to mention the kiss, and Toge quite honestly doesn’t plan to. Instead he plays along with Yuuta’s game, replying to the boy’s flirty comments as best as he can.
You say the scenery would’ve looked better with me in it, but how so, I wonder?
If I'm a lilac, you must be a cornflower because of your sappy lines.
And lastly:
Forever with you doesn’t sound half bad.
His heat comes again soon enough. He spends it yearning for Yuuta, and finds himself devastated when it finishes and he realizes that Yuuta isn’t here to hold him after like he usually does. Nobara seems to realize this, because she stays with him after his heat ends, keeping him company.
“Oh yeah,” she suddenly blurts out, as the two of them are laying on his bed, “I’m pretty sure a letter from Yuuta arrived while you were in heat, but we didn’t give it to you for obvious reasons.”
This makes him sit up in a hurry. Why are you just telling me this now? He snaps.
“I forgot!” she replies, affronted. “You know, since I was busy taking care of you the whole week?”
This makes him soften up a little, and he frowns, accepting it. They call a maid to bring the letter in and Toge opens it in a rush. As an apology, he lets Nobara read it over his shoulder.
“My Dearest Toge~” she sing songs, yelping when he elbows her side.
The beginning of the letter is somewhat typical, Yuuta updating him on the things he’s been doing. It seems like he’s made another friend, Itadori Yuuji.
Your heat is coming soon, right? I hope it goes by with as little pain as possible. Make sure you rest well after it.
Always yours,
Yuuta
“Always yours?!” Nobara shrieks, and Toge glares at her even as his cheeks heat up. He reads through the letter again, feeling his heart pound against his ribcage.
He kicks Nobara out so he can write his response, not wanting her to loom over his shoulder like an evil ghost. She gripes and grumbles about it as she walks out, but gives him a teasing grin when she leaves, making him throw his pillow at her.
“Okay okay I’m leaving!” she yells, slamming the door shut. Dramatic as always.
He sits down at his desk, grabbing some paper.
My Dearest Yuuta,
Sorry for the late reply. I was in heat, just like you said. It went by fine, but
Toge pauses, debating, before deciding to write what he has in mind.
But I wish you were here to hold me like you always do.
There’s not much for him to write about this time, with the heat and all, so he ends the letter relatively quick. He tells Yuuta that he’ll be going to his first party, hosted by the Zenins next month.
I’ll tell you all about the party when I go.
Always yours,
Toge
Three weeks later, Toge receives a package. When he opens it, a stuffed panda bear lays inside, along with a note.
My Dearest Toge,
To hold after your heats.
Always yours,
Yuuta
He smiles, holding the bear close to his chest. He buries his face in it, letting out a sigh.
He misses Yuuta so much.
“Maybe I should wear this?” Nobara asks, holding a hair pin up to her head. She’s in Toge’s room, already dressed up in a pink kimono, lips painted red. She’s currently going through his accessories and acting like she’s the one about to debut in the aristocratic party life, and not Toge. Now that he’s thinking about it though, they truly are debuting together in a way. It’s not like he can do this without her.
Toge’s also already dressed in a kimono, entertaining Nobara’s panicked questions about her outfit.
That one is from the Marquis, Toge deadpans. The girl drops the hairpin onto the floor like it’s hot iron.
“Why do you still have the gifts he gave you?” she hisses. Toge just shrugs. They were all extremely expensive. It seems like a waste to get rid of them.
“Geez, at least sell them or something,” she huffs.
There’s a knock on the door, and his father pokes his head in. Unlike the two of them, he’s dressed in western fashion, suit crisp and clean. “We should head out, you two.”
They walk out to the carriage, Nobara practically bouncing in her seat. Her energy is starting to seep into him, and Toge finds himself bouncing his knee, feeling a bit anxious. Hopefully the party goes fine.
“Don’t worry,” his father says. “The Marquis won’t be there. I made sure of it.”
Wow. Toge hadn’t even thought about that, more just anxious about… everything else in general. But still, it’s good to know.
The Zenin estate is also large, but a bit more westernized. Nobara gasps in awe as they approach, the front lawn extravagantly lit up with lanterns. A long line of carriages rests to the side. Toge bites his lip. Looks like there’s a lot of people here already.
They’re greeted almost immediately after they walk inside.
“Viscount Inumaki!” Count Zenin calls out, walking over to him. He nods over to Toge. “This must be your son.”
“Yes,” his father replies. “My son Toge.”
“My daughter Maki—” the man sighs tiredly, grumbling. “That girl’s probably run off somewhere again. But it would be lovely if you two could talk.” he smiles at Toge, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Ah. Looks like Count Zenin is interested in matchmaking, tonight.
“I’d be honored,” Nobara answers for him as he signs.
The Count blinks, before nodding, smile smaller than before. Perhaps he forgot that Toge uses JSL.
Though the Count is a bit stiff with them, everyone else that Toge meets is quite nice. A lot of them praise Nobara for her skills, which she of course loves. Many women are wearing western dresses as well, and he finds himself admiring the intricacies of their outfits. He's only seen his sister wear western fashion once before.
After following his father around as he makes his rounds for a while, his father eventually lets him and Nobara do whatever.
“Finally,” Nobara says as they hurry towards the food table. “I’ve been eyeing those cakes this whole time.”
Toge nods in agreement, grabbing a plate for himself. They move to the secluded corner, placing their desserts on a small standing table.
“By the way, where’s Count Gojo?” the girl asks, waving her fork around. “I thought for sure he’d be here.”
Toge winces. Count Gojo and Count Zenin don’t really get along.
“Huh,” Nobara muses. “But it seems like Count Zenin wanted you to get into kahoots with his daughter.”
“My old man said what?”
Toge almost drops his fork in surprise. The two of them whirl around to see a girl standing behind them, and Toge finds himself gaping at her. Her hair is pulled up into an updo, and the girl is wearing a western suit, something Toge has never seen before in his life. Judging from the way people eye her as they walk by, he can tell he’s not the only one shocked by her appearance. Though people seem to send her disapproving gazes, the girl pays them no mind, hands in her pockets.
“Where did you come from?” Nobara exclaims, pointing her fork at the girl. “I didn’t even smell you!”
“Ah, well,” the girl begins with a shrug, “one of the first things you learn in martial arts is how to hide your scent. Can’t sneak up on enemies if they can smell you.” she glances between Toge and Nobara, and he swears he can see the gears turning in her mind. “Inumaki Toge?” at Toge’s nod, she lets out a sigh. “Zenin Maki. Sorry, but I have no interest in courting you. Or anyone, really.”
“Neither do I,” Nobara interprets for him, before letting out a knowing smirk. Toge rolls his eyes.
Maki lets out a chuckle. “Glad we’re in agreement, then.”
“Anyways, you said you do martial arts?” Nobara continues, staring at Maki with wide eyes. “What do you do?”
Maki smiles smugly. “The better question is what don’t I do?”
They end up talking with Maki for the rest of the night. But instead of they, Toge should really just say Nobara. Her and Maki hit it off, Nobara's eyes sparkling as she learns more about Maki's life.
“It’s so cool that you came in a suit!” Nobara gushes, “it looks really good on you.”
“Thanks,” Maki replies, cooly taking a sip of her drink. She lets out a snort. “I’m sure my old man is totally pissed right now. But that stupid man is mad at me no matter what I do…”
It’s then, that Toge gets an idea. He grins to himself, nudging Nobara before signing to her. His smugness grows when he sees her cheeks redden.
I can’t say that to her! She signs back.
“What?” Maki asks, glancing between the two of them.
Toge nudges Nobara aggressively, trying to encourage her to interpret for him, and she glowers at him, before clearing her throat, trying to compose herself.
“Um,” she begins hesitantly, “since you said you have no interest in courting, and Toge doesn’t either, Toge wants you to fake court him. So your old man can get off your back.”
Toge frowns. You forgot to add that it's so she can talk to you more.
I told you, I can’t tell her that! She shoots back aggressively.
“Huh,” Maki says, thinking it over. “I suppose that could work. It’d be great to get him to stop nagging me about courting meetings. But what’s in it for you?”
“That’s a secret,” Nobara wrongly interprets, ignoring Toge’s dirty look.
When they head back from the party, Toge brings it up to his father as they ride in the carriage.
“You…want Zenin Maki to court you?” his father asks, shocked. “I—” he hesitates, before continuing again. “I thought perhaps there was someone else in your heart.”
Toge flushes, deciding to explain the real reason, though he does omit the part about doing it so Nobara can keep seeing Maki. That would probably be a bit too much for his father.
“I see,” his father replies, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said you could tell me if you wanted someone to court you…”
But at Toge’s pleading look, the man relents. “Fine. I’ll play along with your scheme. It is a bit amusing to mess with Count Zenin,” he says with a grin. “Though we should probably keep the truth between us.”
Soon, news spreads around that alpha Zenin Maki and omega Inumaki Toge hit it off at the Zenin party, and the alpha is now starting to court him.
My Dearest Toge,
I’ve heard the news that Zenin Maki has started courting you. I wasn’t aware that you two were close. Did you meet each other at the Zenin party? Is she the type of alpha you like?
Toge wants to slap himself in the face. He forgot that Yuuta would’ve probably heard the gossip. He’s sure Count Gojo keeps him up to date with everything as much as possible, probably through telegrams instead of letters so it's more timely. He frowns as he reads over Yuuta’s words. Could it be that Yuuta was jealous? His heart skips a beat at the thought.
“Hey, isn’t it a little rude to read your side lover’s letters when your courter is right here?” Maki teases as she lazily lounges around in her kimono, the two of them sitting down and drinking tea.
Toge ignores her, even when Nobara giggles. Unfortunately, Maki is now very aware of Toge’s love life. He should’ve known Nobara would spill the beans. He’s tempted to hint at Maki about Nobara’s feelings now too, but he’s also a man who values his life.
“Okkotsu Yuuta, huh,” Maki muses, sipping her tea. “Haven’t seen him in a while, but he’s a bit of a beansprout, isn’t he?”
“That’s literally what I called him too!” Nobara exclaims, and it takes all of Toge’s energy to not roll his eyes. Instead, he focuses back on his task at hand.
My Dearest Yuuta,
The courting is just a ruse, to appease Maki’s father. Maki is indeed a great alpha, but perhaps more of Nobara’s type.
He’s sure Yuuta will get what he’s implying here. He proceeds to tell him about what happened at the party, before signing off.
Lastly, happy birthday. I’m sure by the time this letter arrives, it will have already passed.
Always yours,
Toge
He gets Yuuta’s reply a few weeks later, and hurries to open it right away, the maid giggling at his eagerness. He doesn’t really care anymore. He feels like everyone in the household knows about his crush now. He reads it as he walks back to his room.
My Dearest Toge,
I see. I wish Nobara luck.
I’m glad that Zenin Maki is just a friend.
Toge smiles at this, pleased he read the situation correctly, though his heart pounds at Yuuta’s earnesty. So Yuuta really was jealous. The idea is strangely exciting.
I spent my birthday with the Fushiguros and Itadori Yuuji, and it was wonderful. But I wish you were there too. The school year will be ending in a few months. Maybe I can go back home to visit during break, or you can visit me up here.
Always yours,
Yuuta
He frowns, the boy's words feeling like a blow to his gut. So Yuuta wants to stay abroad for another school year? But why? Weren’t things going well for them? Why does he want to stay away? Perhaps all these letters were really just a game, a way for Yuuta to pass time. They’ve yet to confirm their feelings for each other, after all.
He shakes his head, clearing his thoughts. He can’t let his anxious feelings take control of him. Yuuta probably just wants to stay abroad because he’s learning so much and having a good time over there. This is all so he can prepare to be the next Count, after all.
He decides to be as encouraging as he can, not wanting Yuuta to know his true feelings, asking him what classes he’s planning on taking next year. Seeing Yuuta for a few months in the summer is more than enough.
It doesn’t matter where we meet. I simply just want to see you.
Always yours,
Toge
Yuuta's letter has yet to arrive after a few weeks, which isn't too strange, but it does seem to be taking longer than usual. It doesn't help with his anxious thoughts about he and Yuuta's relationship. Was he too clingy in his last letter? Did that make Yuuta uncomfortable?
The real truth to the delay however, is much more shocking.
“Toge-sama!” a maid calls out to him.
He and Nobara turn around from where they’re walking in the hallway. They were about to head to the kitchens to get something to eat.
“Forgive me, but you must come right away!”
He frowns, but nods, and he and Nobara follow the maid to his father’s office. The man is reading a letter, eyebrows raised. He glances at them when they arrive.
What is it? He asks, suddenly getting concerned. Did something bad happen?
His father lets out a deep breath. “The Fushiguros sent a telegram. Yuuta has finally presented.”
It’s as if someone threw him into freezing cold waters, leaving him gasping for breath. He finds himself unable to move, feels his heart jump in his chest.
“As what?!” Nobara practically yells, stomping over and reading over the man’s shoulder.
“An alpha,” his father answers, unphased by her outburst.
The statement doesn’t seem to register at first. He blinks at his father dumbly, eyes wide.
“The Fushiguros say he went through a terribly tough rut and needs some time to recover,” his dad continues. “It’s probably because he presented so late.”
It’s then, that Toge notices practically everyone in the room is staring at him, even the maids.
What? He signs, dumbfounded.
“What do you mean, what?” Nobara snaps, “Yuuta’s an alpha! Isn’t that good news?”
Yes, he responds calmly, before frowning in worry. He’s never heard of a rut so tough that the person needed to take time to recover. The boy was probably in so much pain. I hope he’s feeling okay .
Nobara face palms. The maids give him a hesitant smile.
It’s only later that night, that the news fully hits him. He slams open his door, sprinting down the hallways, maids exclaiming in surprise as they move out of his way.
“NOBARA!” he yells, as he bursts into her room. The girl nearly jumps out of her skin, cursing at him.
“What is wrong with you?” she shouts back from where she’s sitting at her desk.
Yuuta is an alpha, he signs aggressively.
“Yes,” she replies, looking at him like he grew another head. “We’ve already established this?”
He’s an alpha! He repeats, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. An alpha!
“Yes, he’s an alpha!” she snaps, shaking him off. “Have you finally lost your mind?” she softens up though, when she notices that Toge has started laughing almost hysterically, jumping around on his feet.
“You really have lost it!” she chastises, even as she jumps along with him, the two of them waving their arms around like some distorted rain dance.
He’s an alpha!
“He’s an alpha!”
He’s an alpha!
“He’s—”
Their party is interrupted by Toge’s father knocking on the door. He stares at them tiredly, but a small smile is on his face. “The whole house can hear you,” he scolds, and they grin at him sheepishly.
An alpha. He can’t believe it.
His excitement however, quickly fades away to anxiety as he starts to think about what this really means. Up until now, he and Yuuta have been dancing around each other, never approaching the topic of their feelings. For Toge, this was mostly because Yuuta had yet to present. But he can’t really use that as an excuse anymore.
He wants Yuuta. He’s always wanted him. Being separated from him has only deepened that feeling.
He spends the next few days pacing around the estate, anxious to hear from the boy. When the letter finally arrives, he runs into his room to read it, wanting to be alone.
My Dearest, Toge—
I’m terribly sorry for my late reply. I’m sure you’ve heard about it by now, but yes, I presented as an alpha. These last few weeks have been very long and tiring. I see now what you meant about how presenting is scary.
But despite all the trouble of these past weeks, I found myself constantly thinking of you.
Toge-kun, I have a question for you. It's one I sort of already asked, but…
What sort of alpha is your type?
Always yours,
Yuuta
He swears his heart bursts out of his chest, hands moving up his cheeks in an attempt to cool them. Surely, this is Yuuta shooting his shot? He supposes that the boy has been doing that this whole time, but this time it’s a bit more explicit in its intention. He fights the smile that’s spreading through his lips, grabbing a new sheet of paper.
My Dearest, Yuuta—
Congratulations on presenting. I hope that you’re feeling well. I heard that your rut was very difficult. It is indeed really scary when you first present, but soon you get used to everything.
There hasn’t been a day where I haven’t thought about you.
He pauses here, unsure of how to continue. All he really wants to do is ask Yuuta to court him, but he feels like that’s much too forward in comparison to Yuuta’s hinting remarks. Perhaps he could describe his “type?” but that’s a bit too plain.
It’s then, that he remembers. He smiles to himself, picking up his pen
Yuuta, I have a question for you too.
Do you remember the promise you made to me when we were kids?
Always yours,
Toge
He’s about to seal the letter, before another idea pops into his mind. Since Yuuta presented, he could now smell Toge’s scent, right? Biting his lip, wondering if this will be too much, he decides to be bold and go ahead with it, reaching over and grabbing his handkerchief. He rubs it against his neck, letting out his scent, doing both sides for good measure. He then takes a moment to sniff at it, nodding to himself in satisfaction. Hopefully, his scent will last the long voyage. He folds the handkerchief neatly, sliding it inside the envelope.
He sends the letter off with a pounding heart.
All those years ago, in the garden, Yuuta had promised him. Toge’s sure the boy will remember.
“If I present as an alpha, I’ll court you.”
“Just write another letter to him,” Maki insists, crossing her arms, Nobara voicing her agreement.
Toge doesn’t answer. Currently, he’s resting his head face down onto the table, gloom weighing down his heart.
Two months. It’s been two months since he sent Yuuta his letter, and the boy has yet to send him anything back. Just now, the mail had arrived, and there was nothing for Toge.
So this is what it feels like to have your heart played with, Toge signs, and Nobara rolls her eyes.
“He’s probably just been caught up with something,” Nobara adds on. “Or maybe the letter got lost. Just send him another one!”
But his father had also sent a letter along with Toge’s to the Fushiguros, and had gotten a response. Surely, Yuuta would’ve received it then?
He’s probably found another omega abroad and forgot about me, he continues, ignoring her. He yelps when Maki smacks him in the shoulder, making him sit up straight. He glares at her.
“Stop acting pathetic,” she scolds. Over the past few months, Maki’s picked up on some JSL. “You’re really gonna act like this over some beansprout?”
Toge pouts, her words doing nothing to comfort him. He plants his face back down on the table.
Maki sighs. He risks a peek at her, only to regret it because she and Nobara are leaning against each other, Nobara’s head on Maki’s shoulder. Ugh. Are they seriously acting lovey dovey while Toge’s going through heartbreak? He presses his forehead back onto the table, resisting the urge to just smack his head against the hard surface over and over again.
He’s not sure where he went wrong. Did he really misread all of Yuuta’s letters? Or was he too forward, and scared Yuuta off? Or perhaps there really is another omega in Yuuta’s life, and the boy lost feelings?
It’s thoughts like these that plague him constantly. He tries to distract himself by hanging out with Maki and Nobara, or visiting his sister, even focusing hard on his studies (his teacher has been quite happy about that), but it’s still not enough.
When the three month mark passes, Toge begins to lose all hope.
His heat comes again.
It’s absolutely terrible, filled with thoughts of Yuuta despite his broken heart. To make matters worse, now that Toge knows Yuuta’s an alpha, he can’t stop himself from fantasizing about the boy’s knot. As he shoves four fingers into himself repeatedly, tears in his eyes, he aches for more, aches for Yuuta to fill him up. Wants the boy to push him into the sheets and pound into him with no mercy.
At the same time, he wants Yuuta to cradle him in his arms as he comes, wants him to praise him for doing so well, for being such a good omega.
He comes all over his stomach, sobbing when the heat rises up just a few moments later, far from being satiated. He shakily turns over on his stomach, going on his hands and knees, reaching back behind him again.
He wants Yuuta. Not just to help him with his heat, but to love him. To hold him.
When he wakes up with the heat gone, he buries his face into his knees and cries.
“Here again, huh,” Shoko says in way of greeting as he’s let into the house by a maid. He bows at her in response. “She’s out in the garden.”
The Ieiri garden is a lot smaller than the inumakis, but he’s sure Utahime loves it all the same. Especially since right now, she’s watering the flowers with absolute care. Summer is finally here, and Toge already feels sweat drip down his back as he joins his sister out in the sun.
“Toge,” his sister greets warmly, placing down the watering pot. She brings him in for a hug. “Though I’m glad you visit me often these days, I can’t help but think it’s not for a good reason.”
Toge doesn’t answer, just returns the hug, closing his eyes. Even in this heat, his sister’s touch is more than welcomed.
They move into the shade, the maids bringing out cut watermelon. Toge can’t help but feel nostalgic for the summers where he and Yuuta would eat watermelon with his sister, and feels himself frown. No matter what he does, Yuuta always manages to make his way into his thoughts somehow.
“Still no response?” Utahime asks, taking a bite.
Toge nods.
The woman sighs, raising a hand to run through Toge’s hair. Though he’s sixteen now, his older sister never forgets to baby him. “People often say love is complicated. But in my opinion, it’s people who make it complicated.”
At Toge’s inquiring look, she continues with, “I mean, the feeling of love is so simple. When I look at you, I know I love you, my baby brother. When I look at Shoko, I know I want to spend my whole life with her. I’ve never been so sure of anything else.” she smiles, hand moving up to rest on her mating mark.
“But sometimes, we get so caught up in our minds, we end up making things difficult for ourselves.”
Are you saying that’s what I’m doing? He asks.
She shrugs. “Perhaps. But maybe Yuuta is also doing the same thing. You two have always struggled with saying what you’re really feeling.”
He muses over this, taking a bite of his watermelon. He supposes it might be true. But he doesn’t exactly know what to do about it. Perhaps he really should write another letter, like Nobara and Maki said to.
“Do you want to stay for dinner?” Utahime asks, but before he can answer, a maid arrives, steps frantic, looking out of breath as she bows.
“Goodness Miwa-chan, what is it?” his sister asks in concern.
“Toge-sama must return back to the Inumaki residence at once!” she exclaims. “Yuuta-sama has returned out of the blue, and is waiting for him!”
“What!?” Both he and his sister blurt out at the same time, before looking at each other, eyes wide.
“The carriage is already waiting,” Miwa continues.
Toge stands up, but finds that he is hesitant to move, feet frozen in place.
Yuuta’s really here?
It’s been so long since he’s seen the boy, and he finds himself getting nervous, hands beginning to sweat. Why is Yuuta back? What is he going to say to him when he sees him? Despite trying not to, Toge has been longing for Yuuta so much. He’s not sure if he can keep it together if he sees him.
“Toge,” his sister says, interrupting his thoughts. She places her hands on his shoulders, staring deep into his eyes. “Remember. Love should be easy.”
He feels himself nodding, and she smiles in response. She grabs his hand, ushering him along. “Tell Shoko that I’m heading over to the Inumaki residence as well, Miwa-chan.”
“Yes, Utahime-sama.”
The carriage ride back home is in total silence, Toge keeping his hand in his sister’s grip, letting it ground him. When they arrive, the only thing Toge can hear is his own heartbeat. The maids rush over to him, looking eager, gesturing him inside.
“They’re all talking in the living room,” one of them says, directing him. He barely registers it, just lets them steer him towards the right direction, his sister behind him.
When they get close, he hears Yuuta’s voice, and it stops him in his tracks. Just hearing the sound makes him ache with yearning, but also makes him terrified to move. The maids look at him in question. Utahime moves to face him, cupping his cheeks in her hands.
“Don’t be nervous. It’ll be okay, Toge,” she reassures, and he takes a deep breath, nodding.
“Toge-sama and Utahime-sama have arrived,” one of the maids announces as she opens the door, bowing. She moves aside to let Toge and Utahime through.
His father, Nobara, Count Gojo and Yuuta are all kneeling down at the table, but at their arrival, Yuuta stands up, eyes wide.
“T-Toge-kun,” Yuuta greets, staring at him.
He feels his breath stutter in his throat.
Yuuta’s grown. The boy is much taller, much broader than Toge remembers, and the western suit he’s wearing only accentuates that. His hair is now longer, bangs pushed away from his forehead. So, so handsome. Toge can barely stand it.
And his scent.
Yuuta smells unbearably good. So good that his whole body flushes with heat, that his legs tremble. He just wants to jump into Yuuta’s arms, wants to scent him like no tomorrow.
Wants to kiss him with everything he’s got.
Love should be easy.
Yeah.
Toge actually can’t do this right now.
He turns around and breaks off into a sprint, the maids and his sister exclaiming in surprise.
“Toge-kun!?” Yuuta squawks, before chasing after him, “Toge-kun, wait!”
He runs out into the garden, not even putting on shoes, too scared to glance back. He knows Yuuta is gaining on him, can smell the boy approaching. He grits his teeth, making a sharp turn towards the flowers, trying to lose the boy.
But Yuuta catches up to him easily. Before, Toge used to be able to run circles around Yuuta, but he supposes that isn’t true anymore. Yuuta grabs his wrist and pulls him back against his chest, arms wrapped around his waist from behind. Toge shudders from the feeling of the boy’s breath on his ear.
“Don’t run from me,” Yuuta pleads, a bit breathless. This close, the boy’s scent is strong, and Toge feels like he’s about to go insane from it.
After a few moments, he nods his agreement and Yuuta lets him go.
He quickly moves away from the boy, needing some space before he loses all self control, hesitantly turning around to face the other. He crosses his arms and avoids Yuuta’s gaze, instead staring at the ground. It’s then that he notices Yuuta’s also shoeless, socks dirty from running after him.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta begins, but he cuts him off.
Why didn’t you reply to my letter? He asks, his anger from being left hanging like that giving him the courage to finally look up and meet the other’s eyes.
Yuuta blinks at him in confusion. “What do you mean?”
Toge scoffs. Don’t act dumb. I sent you a letter months ago, and you never answered.
“But I did,” Yuuta insists, eyes narrowing. “I wrote a reply as soon as I got it. You were the one who didn’t—” he stops, when he sees Toge’s bewildered expression. “You… you never got it?”
Toge shakes his head.
Yuuta gawks at him before turning away in disbelief, letting out a bitter laugh. He runs his hands through his hair in frustration, before he faces Toge again, gaze determined.
“Then I’ll tell you what I wrote,” he says. Toge feels absolutely pinned down by the boy’s stare, heart beginning to race.
“I do remember,” Yuuta continues earnestly, “what I promised you. I remember. I could never forget.”
His heart skips a beat at his words, eyes widening.
At Toge’s silence, the boy keeps going. “Toge-kun, all I’ve ever wanted was you. Ever since we were kids, I’ve wanted to cherish and protect you. And after what happened with the Marquis…” the boy grits his teeth. “I realized that I wasn’t capable enough to do that.”
Toge begins to protest, but Yuuta raises his hand, stopping him.
“The whole reason why I went abroad and started focusing on becoming a Count is because I thought that, if I was going to present as a beta, then maybe your father would still let me court you if I became a capable enough beta. I wanted to prove that I could still treat you the way you deserved to be, even if I wasn’t an alpha.”
Ever so slowly, Yuuta reaches out and grabs Toge’s hand, gaze unrelenting. “But against all odds, I ended up being an alpha. And I just knew that I had to take this chance. Toge-kun, I—”
“I love you,” Toge interrupts.
Yuuta gapes at him, eyes wide.
I have always loved you, he continues, hands trembling from his nerves.
It never mattered, what you presented as. I’d have loved you either way. He hesitates, stepping closer to the boy. He lets out a small smile. I’ve always been yours.
Before he knows it, Yuuta’s lips are on his.
He gasps, before eagerly responding, clutching on the boy’s suit jacket, pulling him closer. Yuuta wraps his arms around his waist, pressing their bodies together. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing, and he doesn’t think Yuuta knows either— but it still feels nice.
“I love you,” Yuuta breathes out, resting his forehead against his. “I love you so much, Toge-kun. I always have.”
His reply is another kiss. Yuuta kisses back eagerly, and Toge is taken back by the hunger the boy displays, the alpha letting out a small growl. He moans, gripping tightly onto the Yuuta’s jacket to ground himself. Yuuta’s scent spikes with arousal in response, and he feels himself shudder.
To his disappointment, Yuuta pulls away.
“We should stop,” he says roughly, looking like it’s taking all his strength to restrain himself. The sound of his voice, wrecked with arousal, makes his knees feel weak.
Toge nods, feeling a bit out of breath. Still, he pulls Yuuta into a hug, wanting him close.
Yuuta sighs, burying his face into Toge’s neck, having to hunch over to do so. “You smell so good, ” he groans. “I almost went insane when I got your handkerchief.”
Toge smiles smugly to himself, glad his plan worked. His smugness fades away to surprise, however, when Yuuta begins to rub his cheek against Toge’s scent gland, Yuuta’s smell washing over him.
“Y-Yuuta,” he stutters out, backing away. Did Yuuta really just scent him?
Yuuta just smiles, eyes teasing. “To get you back for that one time.”
His jaw drops, cheeks burning hot. So Yuuta figured out Toge scented him all those years ago? He pouts at the boy’s cocky expression, standing up on his tiptoes to return the favor. Yuuta hums in response, pleased.
“I love you,” Yuuta murmurs quietly.
He feels his heart flutter. “I love you too.”
They end up returning sheepishly to their family, blushing because it’s quite obvious what had transpired between them.
“Finally,” Nobara gripes. “I was so sick of Toge moping around like a lovesick puppy.”
He rolls his eyes. Like she can talk, with how desperately in love she is with Maki.
“You finally did it, Yuuta!” Gojo exclaims, patting the boy hard on the back. “It only took you… ten years?”
“Onii-sama,” Yuuta chides, covering his blushing face with his hands. Toge can’t help but giggle a little at the man’s comment, making Yuuta give him a look of betrayal.
Gojo ignores his younger brother’s embarrassment, instead turning over to look at Utahime with a wide grin.
“Looks like we’ll be related soon, huh, Utahime?”
The woman’s eye twitches in response.
“Looks like this is the end of our arrangement, huh,” Maki says, glancing between the two of them. “Well, it was fun to mess around with my old man. Maybe he’ll stop bugging me to do courting meetings now.”
The alpha had come over one last time to see Toge, and subsequently Yuuta, since the two of them have been making up for lost time these past few days.
You can still come over though, Toge signs. Nobara would like that.
Maki blinks at him, before glancing away shyly. “Yeah. Maybe I will.”
It’s at this moment that Nobara bursts back into the room, a tray of tea in her hands. “Y’all better not have been talking about me!”
“No, we were just making fun of the beansprout,” Maki replies easily, making Yuuta straighten, affronted.
“Will you two ever stop calling me that?” he sighs. Toge pats his leg in reassurance. Just this is enough to brighten the boy’s mood, and he smiles, leaning in to give Toge a kiss on the top of his head.
“Ugh,” Nobara groans. “I almost wish you two didn’t make it official.”
Yuuta is now officially courting Toge. Just the thought of it is enough to make Toge beam with happiness.
“Haven’t you two been courting since you were babies anyway?” Maki grumbles. To be honest, Toge’s not sure if he can deny that.
A maid suddenly arrives, giving a quick bow. "You've got a letter, Toge-sama."
He frowns. He wasn't really expecting anything. He takes it from the maid with a bow of his head, looking to see who it's from.
He bursts out laughing, showing it to Yuuta. He gawks at the envelope, before laughing as well, throwing his head back.
"What is it?" Nobara asks, dumbfounded. He just hands it over to her wordlessly.
It's Yuuta's letter, the one he never received. He's not sure if he's laughing because it's so funny or because he wants to cry.
He reads it later in his room, curled up in Yuuta’s arms, despite the boy’s embarrassed protests. It's all things he's heard before (Yuuta really did tell him what he wrote,) but there's a line that sticks out to him.
Toge-kun. You remind me that being happy can be easy. If it's alright with you, I'd like to give you back that happiness tenfold.
When he’s finished, he folds it up neatly, placing it in the box where he keeps all of Yuuta’s other ones, feeling warm with love. Feeling happy. So, so, happy.
Yuuta watches him from the bed as he does so, a gentle smile on his face. Toge tackles him back onto the bed, making the boy let out an oof as he scrambles to take on Toge’s weight. The two of them begin to giggle, Yuuta pulling Toge down into a kiss.
Maybe love really is easy, after all.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta breathes out harshly, breaking from their kiss, groaning when Toge decides to press kisses into Yuuta’s neck. “We should stop.”
Toge pouts. The two of them are currently on Yuuta’s bed, the boy on top of him. His kimono is all loose from Yuuta’s hungry touches, Yuuta in a similar state of disarray. Toge can feel Yuuta’s hardness against him, and he’s sure Yuuta can feel his too.
He wraps his legs around the boy’s waist, pulling him closer. Yuuta gasps at the action.
“No,” he protests, leaning in for another kiss, but Yuuta backs away, making him frown.
"W-We should just take things slow!" Yuuta stutters out in defense.
This makes Toge stare at him, dumbfounded. Take things slow? Did it not take them years to get together? Besides, it's been months since they've started courting. How much slower could Yuuta possibly want them to go?
And judging from the way the alpha's practically shaking with restraint, Toge doesn't actually think Yuuta wants to stop.
This is how it's been the past few months. They’ve kissed a lot , groped each other a lot, but have never actually done anything else. Toge never pushed, not wanting to rush the other. But he seriously doesn't understand what the problem is. He's more than ready, and he feels like Yuuta is too, so why wait any longer?
The question in his eyes must be evident, because Yuuta sighs, getting off Toge and sitting up. Toge follows suit, watching the way the boy wrings his hands.
“I just… don’t want to hurt you,” Yuuta explains. “I’m still kind of— I mean I just presented you know? I can get out of control…”
Toge blinks at him. Yuuta, going out of control? In bed?
That…
Sounds absolutely amazing.
Yuuta must see something mischievous flash across his face because he frowns, grabbing Toge’s shoulders. “I’m being serious, Toge-kun. Let’s just… take our time, okay?”
Okay , he signs back with a nod, forcing himself to look earnest. Yuuta smiles brightly at him in thanks.
When he’s leaving the Gojo estate though, he’s already started scheming.
Mission “Make Yuuta Fuck Him Like There’s No Tomorrow” is now in motion.
“Can’t you pick a better name for it?” Nobara complains as he discusses his plan with her.
No, the name is important, he insists, and the girl rolls her eyes.
“Listen, Yuuta’s a weak man at heart. Especially with you. So if you just push his buttons enough, he’ll probably go crazy,” Nobara states. “Revealing clothes will also help. Also, please do this plan at the Gojos. I’d rather die than hear you two have sex.”
Now it’s Toge who’s rolling his eyes.
When he heads over to the Gojo residence the next day, he's feeling completely confident. He’s wearing one of his nicer kimonos, and the hairpin Yuuta gave him when they first started courting. Per Nobara’s advice, he’s tied his kimono loosely, showing off his chest. A paper fan also hangs around his wrist.
Him being at the Gojo residence is a common enough occurrence that he’s easily let inside, but the maids do ogle at him a little as he walks towards Yuuta’s room. He knocks on the door before sliding it open.
“Yuuta,” he calls out cheerfully.
The boy is sitting at his desk, but at Toge’s arrival he turns around, smiling. His smile fades to surprise though, when he sees the way Toge’s dressed, gaze making a beeline to his chest before quickly flicking back up to his eyes. “T-Toge-kun…”
He blinks innocently, glancing down at where Yuuta was looking. Ah, I went to town with Nobara this morning, and it was awfully hot, he signs casually, moving to sit on Yuuta’s desk. He whips open his fan, flapping it near his chest, doing his best to not smugly smile as Yuuta watches, eyes on his exposed skin.
“You went to town… looking like that?” Yuuta asks, scent spiking with possessiveness.
He actually didn’t go to town at all, but Yuuta doesn’t need to know that. He tilts his head, putting his hand on the desk as he leans forward, letting the kimono fall open more. “Do I not look nice?”
Yuuta’s scent flares up again, but this time there’s a tinge of arousal. “N-No, you do,” the boy quickly stutters out, quickly turning away, cheeks pink. “But that means other people saw you like this…”
Is that a problem? He asks, before leaning forward even more, unable to hide his smug grin this time.
This seems to make something snap in Yuuta, because the boy’s eyes darken. Suddenly, Yuuta is on his feet, picking Toge up and throwing him onto the bed, making him yelp. He barely has time to process what’s going on before Yuuta is on top of him, rubbing his face into Toge’s neck and scenting him with a growl.
He sighs in pleasure as Yuuta’s scent fills the room, deciding to return the favor, pressing his face into Yuuta’s neck.
“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing,” Yuuta warns as he pulls back to look at him. Toge shivers at the intense gaze the boy sends his way.
In response, Toge just tilts his head, fluttering his eyelashes, as if to say doing what?
Yuuta growls again, pulling him into a filthy kiss. Toge moans, doing his best to keep up, their tongues brushing together.
"I should've known you wouldn't listen to me," Yuuta huffs, pressing kisses down Toge's neck to his bared chest. He gasps, jerking when Yuuta bites his nipple.
"Y-Yuuta—" he cries out, squirming as Yuuta mercilessly plays with his chest, leaving marks wherever he can. The feeling of his teeth and tongue on his nipples is too much, and tears well up in the corners of his eyes. He pulls on Yuuta's hair, begging for a break, flushing as his cock hardens from the stimulation, slick leaking out of him.
Eventually, Yuuta pulls back, eyes filled with satisfaction as he stares at the mess he made of Toge's chest. Red and purple bite marks are spread everywhere, his nipples sore and puffy. Yuuta presses his thumb against Toge's nipple one last time, and he whimpers, panting hard.
"Yuuta…" Toge breathes out, feeling heat rush through his gut as Yuuta stares at him with unbridled hunger. The boy’s scent is filling the room, and Toge feels himself get a little dazed by it, submitting to Yuuta's will. He's so hard it hurts. He glances down and blushes when he sees Yuuta's bulge.
Deciding that maybe he should give Yuuta some attention, he reaches his hand down, only for it to be quickly grabbed by Yuuta, the boy pinning both his arms above his head.
"Don't," Yuuta commands roughly, voice thick with arousal, and Toge feels a thrill run down his spine as he stares into the boy's dark gaze. He's starting to see what Yuuta meant now, about getting out of control. Every inch of him is screaming alpha, screaming the urge to dominate and take control.
Toge loves it.
To his surprise, Yuuta begins taking off Toge's kimono, smoothly removing his underwear. His cheeks heat up as he's completely exposed, cock hard against his stomach, his hole covered with slick. Yuuta's scent flares up at the sight, the boy's gaze darkening even more.
Suddenly, Yuuta flips him over on his stomach, bringing him up to his knees. He wraps a hand around Toge’s cock, making him cry out in pleasure. The boy's hand is big and warm, and feels so good as Yuuta strokes him.
With his other hand, Yuuta squeezes his ass for a while, before adjusting his position. Toge almost screams when he feels something warm and wet against his hole.
"Y-Yuuta!" Toge exclaims, squirming as Yuuta presses his tongue against him. More slick leaks out of him from the stimulation, but the alpha just laps it up eagerly, making him flush with embarrassment. "W-Wait—"
The alpha ignores him, and Toge almost comes on the spot when the boy inserts a finger inside him along with his tongue. He can't stop himself from moaning as Yuuta continues to finger him and eat him out, hand still stroking his cock. He's unbearably wet, body trembling with every touch of Yuuta’s tongue, every brush of his fingers. It doesn’t take long for him to reach the edge— he's never had anyone else touch him before, let alone eat him out.
He comes so strongly he's sure he blacks out, crying out Yuuta’s name as he does, shaking with pleasure. He collapses onto the bed, knees weak, uncaring of his release staining the sheets.
He hears Yuuta unravel his own kimono, and his heart skips a beat. Is Yuuta finally going to go inside him? He weakly turns his head, cheeks burning when he sees the size of Yuuta's cock. The difference between them is evident, and he squirms a little in embarrassment.
But Yuuta makes no moves to enter him. Instead the boy fists his cock, groaning as he starts stroking himself at a quick pace, eyes on Toge's figure.
He frowns, moving in hopes to at least assist the other, but Yuuta pushes against his back, keeping him where he is. Pouting, Toge decides to at least get back on his knees, exposing his hole. Yuuta moans at this, gritting his teeth.
Soon enough, the boy is coming all over Toge’s ass. He whimpers at the feeling, cheeks pink.
"Fuck," Yuuta breathes out, and Toge's flush deepens at the sound. Hearing kind and polite Yuuta swear roughly does things to him, apparently.
Yuuta collapses next to him on the bed, out of breath, suddenly looking sheepish. "S-Sorry… that was a lot, wasn't it? I shouldn't have—"
Toge shuts the boy up with a kiss. When he pulls away, Yuuta's looking at him with wide eyes, a big difference to the sultry dark gaze he had earlier.
Yuuta, you idiot, that wasn't enough! He wants to scream, but decides against it. Besides, it's not even true, anyway. Though Toge really wants Yuuta to fuck him, he can't deny that this was the best orgasm he's had in his entire life.
I liked it, he says instead, smiling gently. A lot.
"Really?" Yuuta asks quietly.
Toge nods. You won't hurt me. Don't worry.
Yuuta smiles, giving him a quick kiss. "Don't think I've forgiven you though," he jabs even as he pulls Toge into his arms. "Did you even go into town with Nobara, or was that just a lie to get me riled up?"
Toge stays silent. Yuuta lets out a dry chuckle. "You're such a brat."
Later, after they've cleaned up and are getting dressed, Toge is pouting at his reflection in the mirror. The marks on his chest have only deepened, and his nipples are still sore. He's going to have to make sure he's covered from the neck down for a while.
"Sorry," Yuuta apologizes as he wraps his arms around him, the two of them staring at each other through the mirror. The boy doesn't look apologetic at all, expression completely content as he examines his work.
You dummy! Toge complains, hitting his chest. Yuuta just sits there and takes it, laughing loudly.
After that, Toge thought that perhaps whatever barrier Yuuta formed in his mind about sex was broken, but he was completely wrong
Mission “Make Yuuta Fuck Him Like There’s No Tomorrow” is still unsuccessful.
He's been quite persistent, but has failed every time. They’ve rutted against each other until they came, have given each other hand jobs, Yuuta even fucked his thighs, and of course Yuuta has been doing his best to pleasure Toge in all ways possible. Though that's all been absolutely wonderful, Toge really just wants Yuuta’s knot. Not only that, he wants Yuuta to feel good too, as good as he makes Toge feel.
"He's tougher than I thought," Maki muses as they walk through the garden.
Nobara nods in agreement. The two girls have their arms linked together as they walk. "He's seriously hung up over this."
Toge sighs. I've told him a million times that it'll be fine.
Maki frowns. "Well, I kind of get it. That beansprout is a gentle guy at heart, so being put off by his alpha side is normal."
Toge mulls over this, eyebrows furrowing. He supposes that makes sense.
He seems pretty comfortable with it lately though, he signs, thinking of the last time they were together. Yuuta had ate him out until he cried.
"Okay ew ," Nobara snaps, face contorting with disgust.
I didn't even say anything! Toge shoots back.
"Your face said it all," Nobara replies, rolling her eyes. "Anyways, isn't his rut coming soon? Why don't you just offer to help him with it?"
The realization hits him like a slap in the face. Of course. Yuuta’s rut will surely start in the next week or two. And surely Yuuta will want his help. That's the perfect time for them to go all the way.
He grins.
"That's an evil smile if I've ever seen one," Maki mumbles.
"No, it's fine."
Toge gapes at the boy. Surely, he just misheard, right? No way did Yuuta just refuse Toge’s offer to help with his rut?
At Toge’s expression, Yuuta scratches the back of his head, avoiding his gaze. "I'm really touched that you offered, but…I can handle my rut by myself."
What?
The shock still remains in him even long after Yuuta has gone home. Toge sits at his desk, biting his nails in annoyance. Nobara is on his bed, laying on her stomach, reading a magazine.
"I mean, I know I’m the one who suggested helping him with his rut,” Nobara begins, “but ruts are really intense. Especially for your first time. I mean, did you even ask your dad before you asked Yuuta?”
Toge pauses. To be honest, his courting with Yuuta has been… quite atypical. In the beginning, they had the typical courting meetings, with Yuuta bringing gifts and Toge’s father chaperoning, but well. They didn’t really need that. Of course it was still very romantic, Toge flushing from the gifts Yuuta would bring, but Yuuta and Toge already know everything there is to know about each other. The only things they haven’t experienced from each other are things they can’t necessarily do with his father in the room. (Though his dad was subjected to quite a lot of kisses).
So after a while, his father gave them free rein to do whatever, as long as “they weren’t too reckless.”
Should I? He asks, and Nobara blinks at him, before letting out a sigh.
“You know some alphas have the urge to mate during their rut, right?” she asks incredulously. “If you guys become mates before you get married, it might cause a stir.”
Well, they’re going to get mated either way, right? Why does it matter when?
What he’s thinking must show on his face, because Nobara lets out another sigh, grumbling to herself as she flips through a page in her magazine.
“You know what, whatever. Just do what you want. Burst into his room if you have to.” she freezes, straightening up and giving Toge a look. “That was a joke, Toge.”
I know that, he huffs, even as hundreds of plans emerge from her statement.
The following week, Yuuta is in pre-rut. At least, that’s what he’s heard from the maids.
“It seems he’s locked himself away in his room the past few days…” the head maid says with a sigh. “Wasn’t his first rut really tough? I wonder if this one will be too.”
After hearing this, Toge decides to head over to the Gojo residence, only to be turned away at the door.
“I’m really sorry, Toge-sama,” the doorman says sheepishly. Toge stares at him, dumbstruck. “Yuuta-sama was really insistent that we… don’t let you inside. I’m sorry.”
Seriously?
He’s starting to doubt if Yuuta even wants to sleep with him.
Still, he doesn’t give up. He comes back the next day with blankets, snacks, an umbrella to keep him in the shade, along with a book to keep him occupied.
“T-Toge-sama?” the doorman questions in concern. “What are you…”
Tell Yuuta I’m going to stay out here until he lets me see him, he signs. The doorman blinks at him, turning to the maid that accompanied him to the Gojo residence (Nobara refused, saying she didn’t want to sit outside in the heat all day. What a traitor.)
“Um, I believe Toge-sama wishes to see Yuuta-sama, and has decided to stay out here until he’s let inside,” the maid stammers. She turns towards him. “But really, Toge-sama, I’m not sure that’s a good idea… it’s rather warm today…”
Toge ignores her, settling down onto his blanket and positioning his umbrella. He pats the space next to him, not wanting the maid to stay out in the sun either. She blinks at him for a few moments, before smiling softly in thanks, sitting down next to him.
“I—I’ll speak with Yuuta-sama…” The doorman says in response, going back inside. Toge opens his book and starts reading.
A few moments later, the doorman returns, looking a bit distressed. “Yuuta-sama urges you to go back home, Toge-sama. It will be very hot in the afternoon.”
Toge doesn’t answer, just continues reading his book. His maid smiles sheepishly.
Time creeps on, and soon the sun is high in the sky. Toge’s definitely sweating. He’s feeling a bit bad for dragging his maid into this, but she doesn’t complain, just chats with Toge kindly.
Throughout this whole time, the doorman has been moving back and forth between watching over them and going into the house, probably to update Yuuta. At one point, the doorman comes out with two glasses of water.
Toge rolls his eyes. Can Yuuta just give in already? He urges the maid to take it (she doesn’t need to dehydrate herself for Toge’s sake), but doesn’t dare take a sip even with his parched throat.
“You should drink some water, Toge-sama…” The doorman says hesitantly.
Toge shakes his head. If he wants me to drink then he should let me inside.
“Um… I believe he said that if Yuuta-sama wants Toge-sama to drink water, he should let Toge-sama inside…” The maid delivers for him. The doorman lets out a sigh, heading back inside.
Yuuta keeps persisting though, sending out snacks, treats, fans, and umbrellas, anything to make them more comfortable. Toge refuses them all, only accepting things on behalf of his maid. The doorman gets more distressed everytime he refuses. He feels a bit bad for making him be in the middle of he and Yuuta's spat but, in his opinion, Yuuta's the one that needs to get over himself.
Later, Gojo heads outside with a wide smile, a maid bringing out some cut fruit. “Hey, Toge! Having a picnic?”
Well, not really, but he nods anyway, letting the Count sit down with him. Gojo grabs a watermelon slice and takes a bite, before pointing it at Toge.
“My little brother’s a bit of a drama queen, isn’t he?” he says mid chew. He offers Toge his plate of fruit. “Want some?”
Toge stares at him suspiciously, making the older man laugh.
“Don’t worry, Yuuta didn’t make me come out here. I just came out here to step on his toes a little. Gotta love drama, right?”
To be honest, that sounds exactly like something Gojo would do. He decides to take some pear slices, savoring the taste on his tongue.
Can’t you just let me go inside, Count Gojo? Toge asks.
Gojo just tilts his head. “Where’s the fun in that?”
Toge sighs. He should’ve expected that.
“By the way, how come you don’t call me Nii-sama anymore?” Gojo asks, voice filled with overdramatized hurt. “I held you when you were a baby! Am I not your big brother anymore?!”
Toge just rolls his eyes at the man’s antics, taking another bite of his pear. So everyone who held me when I was a baby is my big brother?
Gojo decides not to answer that.
“Damn, it’s hot out here,” the Count says, fanning his face. “Bring out some water.”
Soon enough, three glasses of water are being brought out. This time, Toge decides to take a sip.
“So you’ll drink some water if it’s from Onii-sama but not from me!?”
He’s so startled he almost drops his glass. Yuuta is poking his head out of the front door. Even from this distance, Toge can tell that the boy’s in pre-rut— his eyes are a bit dazed, a bit wild, narrowed into a glare as he studies the scene before him. He can also smell the boy’s agitated scent.
Toge turns his head away with a huff. Satoru nii-sama, you should tell Yuuta I’m not talking to him until he lets me inside.
“S-Satoru nii-sama?!” Yuuta blurts out. It’s been years since Toge’s called Gojo by that, after all.
“Toge…” Gojo says softly, eyes wide. He looks unbelievably touched. Toge knows it's all just dramatics. The man reaches out and grabs Toge’s hands. “So I’m finally your big brother again—”
One second, Yuuta is by the door, and the next, Toge is suddenly in the boy’s arms. He blinks, still in shock as he glances up at the boy.
Yuuta is panting hard, face flushed. His scent reeks with possessiveness, eyes dark. “Don’t touch him.”
For a moment, no one moves, not wanting to upset an already agitated alpha. Even Toge freezes up, not sure what to do.
It’s Gojo who breaks the tension, letting out a whistle and raising his arms in surrender.
“You should take a moment to calm down, Yuuta,” the Count says, patting him on the shoulder and standing up. “Pack it up, guys!”
The maids help put Toge’s set up away. His maid gives him a smile before heading back onto the carriage, to go back to the Inumaki estate.
Yuuta doesn’t move, just keeps Toge in his arms.
“Yuuta?” Toge questions softly. He yelps when suddenly Yuuta buries his face into Toge’s neck, scenting him aggressively. Yuuta’s scent when he’s in pre-rut is different, more heady. His whole body warms as the scent fills the air, cheeks red.
“I told you not to come,” Yuuta growls, even as he keeps scenting him. Toge taps him on the shoulder, and the boy pulls back, watching as Toge signs.
You were the one who said I never listen, he says.
Yuuta growls again, opening his mouth to retort, but suddenly stops himself. He carries Toge inside, and he holds back a sigh of relief at finally being completely out of the sun and into the cooler house.
“Water,” Yuuta orders to a maid, and he nods, quickly scurrying off. Yuuta takes Toge to his room, setting him down on the bed. It smells strongly of Yuuta. It takes all his strength to not smother himself in the sheets.
When the water comes, he hands it over to Toge. “Drink,” he says tersely.
Toge does, taking careful sips. Yuuta stays standing in the middle of the room, looking tense. He seems to be trying his best to calm himself down, taking deep breaths.
"Yuuta," Toge begins, to catch the boy's attention. When he glances over, Toge signs, do you not want me?
“Wha—of course I do!” Yuuta quickly shoots back, eyes wide. “I want you so badly— "
He cuts himself off at his bold confession, cheeks red. Toge feels himself flush as well, but pushes himself to keep going.
Then what's the problem?
Yuuta runs his hands through his hair. "I'm different when I'm in rut, okay? I could easily hurt you. And…I don't know if I could stop myself from mating you." He hesitantly glances at Toge after he says this, eyes filled with caution.
Toge just tilts his head. You don't want to be mates?
"I—" Yuuta pauses, dumbfounded. "I do. Of course I do."
Then again, Toge responds, what's the problem?
Yuuta blinks at him for a few moments before letting out a dry laugh. "You're making it sound so easy."
Toge holds out his arms. Yuuta doesn't move for a moment, but eventually relents, joining Toge on the bed. Toge crawls into his arms, straddling the boy’s lap. He buries his face into Yuuta’s neck and begins to scent him, feeling the way Yuuta practically collapses with relief, relishing in Toge’s calming scent. The alpha wraps his arms around him tighter.
You know what my sister told me, the day you came back? Toge asks. At Yuuta's inquiring look, he says, she said love should be easy.
He smiles. I love you. And I trust you. I want to be with you. To me, that's all that matters. He cups Yuuta's cheek with his hand, thumb brushing his skin.
Yuuta leans into the touch, turning his head to give Toge's palm a kiss. "I love you too."
It’ll be okay, Toge continues to reassure. So stop worrying.
He gently pushes Yuuta back into the crook of his neck again, running his hands through the boy’s hair and releasing his scent, hoping to soothe him. The alpha sighs, snuggling in closer.
"You're right," Yuuta says after a pause. "I've been making a mess of things, haven't I?" He gives out a small laugh. "I'm sorry."
Toge just shakes his head.
"Is it really okay though?" Yuuta asks softly, pulling back to look at him. "If we become mates. I mean, I'll obviously try not to—"
I already told you, Toge cuts in with a smile, I've always been yours .
Yuuta pulls him in for a kiss. Toge closes his eyes, breathing the other in.
They spend the rest of the day cooped up in Yuuta’s room.
Yuuta's quite cute in pre-rut. He barely lets Toge out of his arms, and gets protective even when a maid is just bringing in food for them. He scents Toge almost obsessively, even though there's no way Toge can smell like anything else but him at this point.
All they've done so far is just kiss and cuddle— they both know Toge needs all the rest he can get now before Yuuta's rut starts. Toge won’t lie, despite reassuring Yuuta, he is a bit nervous. But he trusts him. He knows Yuuta would never hurt him.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta begins quietly. The two of them are sitting together in the bath, Toge washing Yuuta’s hair. “Why don’t we just get married?”
He drops the bar of soap into the water in shock. He scrambles to get it, cheeks red and heart pounding. What did Yuuta just say?
Yuuta turns around to face him, a shy smile on his lips. “I mean. If we’re going to be each other’s mates…”
Toge gapes at him. He’s not sure why he’s so surprised when he didn’t bat an eye about them being each other’s mates—of course marriage is the next step for them. Maybe he just didn’t expect Yuuta to bring it up so soon. Still, he knows what his answer is. There’s no other answer it could be.
Yes, Toge says, grinning from ear to ear, let’s get married.
The smile Yuuta gives him could light up the night sky. Toge pulls the man in, sealing their promise to each other with a kiss.
When Toge wakes up the next morning, it's from the feeling of Yuuta rutting himself against Toge's ass, cock hard. Looks like the boy’s rut has finally begun.
“Yuuta?” he calls out quietly, trying to turn around, letting out a yelp when he’s suddenly pushed onto his back, Yuuta moving on top of him.
Yuuta stares down at him, cheeks flushed and eyes dazed despite the intense stare the boy is giving him. Before he knows it, Yuuta’s lips are on his, his tongue wet and warm, the boy’s scent coming off him in such strong waves Toge almost feels like he’s in heat, body flushed from how enticing it is. It doesn’t take long for his cock to harden in interest.
“You smell so good, Toge-kun…” Yuuta growls out, voice rough with want. “It’s like you were made to be mine…”
Yuuta moves down to his neck, licking and sucking, and Toge gasps as the boy bites him roughly near his shoulder, just missing his scent glad. He trembles from the feeling, squirming as Yuuta continues to move down, playing with his chest, nipping at his skin. He rips open Toge’s kimono, uncaring of the fabric as hands eagerly touch his newly exposed skin. When he tugs at Toge’s nipple with his teeth, Toge cries out, cheeks burning when he feels slick leak out from the action.
Yuuta’s eyes seem to glaze over even more as the smell of slick fills the air. He shoves Toge’s underwear down and off his legs, and doesn’t hesitate to shove his fingers inside, making him cry out, eyes wide.
“Yuuta!” Toge moans, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. He cries out again when the boy bites him on his chest, hard enough to leave dark bruises. It hurts, but somehow makes his head grow more dazed with heat, panting to catch his breath.
Yuta grabs him by the hips and flips him over onto his stomach. He gasps when he feels yuta’s tongue against his entrance, hands scrambling to grab onto the sheets, shaking with every brush of yuta’s tongue.
“You taste good too,” Yuuta rambles as he pulls away, lips loose from the rut, and Toge flushes with embarrassment. His blush deepens when he turns back to see Yuuta licking his lips.
The boy starts to disrobe, and Toge’s eyes immediately drop down to look at Yuuta’s cock, dick twitching as he sees how hard and big the boy is.
Yuuta presses down on his back, forcing him to look away. He grabs Toge’s hips and raises them up, and Toge moans when he feels Yuuta’s tip press against his wet entrance. He starts to shake in anticipation, and also nervousness. Sure he talked big earlier, saying he wanted Yuuta’s knot, but can he actually take it?
“I want to make you mine,” Yuuta growls out, fingers digging into Toge’s waist, “I want to fill you up.”
The boy’s body begins to tremble. Confused, Toge turns around again, to see Yuuta staring at him pleadingly, holding himself back. Even with the rut wracking through his body, Yuuta's forcing himself to make sure Toge is okay. He feels his heart warm up at the thought, nervousness fading.
Of course. As long as he’s with Yuuta, it’ll be fine. He said that himself, didn’t he?
He moves up onto his knees, reaching his hand to wrap around the alpha’s cock. Yuuta hisses at this, body jerking. Toge nudges the tip inside of him, and the two of them moan loudly at the feeling.
This seems to snap the last thread of Yuuta’s self control. The boy smacks his hand away and grabs Toge’s hips, pushing into him in one thrust with a groan.
Toge screams, overwhelmed from the feeling. Yuuta stretches him out like nothing he’s ever experienced before, and it makes him feel like he’s gone a bit insane, panting into the sheets. Yuuta gives him little time to adjust, starting a rough and fast pace, hips smacking against his ass.
He cries out with every thrust, body trembling with pleasure. His cock is unbearably hard, slick dripping down his thighs. Yuuta leans down and bites him again, roughly on the back of his shoulder. This time it’s hard enough to break the skin, and he whimpers, body jerking.
Suddenly, Yuuta wraps his arms around him, pulling him up so he’s sitting upright on Yuuta’s lap, and he screams out again as the boy thrusts into him. At this angle, Yuuta is almost unbearably deep inside him.
“So good, ” Yuuta groans, nipping at the back of his neck. “All mine.”
“Yuuta…” Toge keens, teary eyed. He feels as if he’s going to fall apart. All it takes is one more thrust before he’s coming, body jerking and shaking in pleasure, vision turning white. He feels like it lasts for days, but eventually he settles down, body still trembling.
Yuuta pulls out, making him whimper from the loss. But the boy just lays him down onto his back, before pushing into him again.
“Fuck,” Yuuta hisses, and Toge shivers from the sound, and at the way Yuuta’s dark gaze ravages over his body. His eyes are still dazed, cheeks red. He leans in close and Toge immediately wraps his arms around him, feeling his skin. “Wanna eat you up.”
The boy starts a fast pace again, one that drives Toge mad with pleasure. Yuuta keeps mumbling to himself things that make Toge’s cheeks burn with embarrassment but also makes his cock twitch with interest. His previous release is still on his stomach and gets smeared over Yuuta’s, but the boy doesn’t even seem to mind, leaving more bite marks on Toge’s skin.
He pulls away, grabbing Toge’s waist as he starts thrusting more deeply inside him, staring intently at him as he sobs with pleasure.
Soon, he feels it. Feels Yuuta grow bigger and bigger, stretching him out. His knot.
Toge moans at the realization, gripping the sheets as Yuuta continues to push inside him. Just when he thinks Yuuta can’t get any bigger, the boy does, and he whimpers every time. It’s too much. At the same time he wants more. It’s like he’s getting ripped apart.
“ Toge-kun, ” yuta groans out, before pressing deep inside him and coming, knot thick and pulsing inside of him.
The feeling is euphoric. Toge throws his head back, crying out as he hits his peak too, coming all over his stomach.
He trembles as Yuuta continues to fill him up, stretched out on the boy’s knot. Finally. Toge has wanted this for so long. With every pulse of his cock, Yuuta groans out, arms wrapped tightly around him.
“I love you,” Yuuta murmurs, “I love you. Toge-kun, I love you.”
He keeps repeating it like a mantra. Toge smiles, running his fingers through the boy’s hair. He wants to say it back, but his throat is already hurting.
It doesn’t take long before Yuuta’s ready to go again. When he pulls out, Toge flushes at the mess of cum and slick that leak out from inside him. Yuuta flips Toge back onto his stomach, quickly pushing back into him. He whimpers from the sensation, but doesn’t fight it.
“Have to have you,” Yuuta rambles, “need to make you mine.”
He thrusts into Toge as if there were no tomorrow. Toge just closes his eyes and takes it, hands curled into fists.
The next few days seem to pass in a blur. There are times when Yuuta seems to gain some sort of consciousness for a little while, and in these moments they rush to get some food and water. But for the most part, Toge feels like he spends the whole rut in a haze, mind dazed from the constant stimulation Yuuta gives him. He has a feeling that there were times when he’d simply pass out, waking up with Yuuta still inside of him, fucking him dumb.
His whole body is covered in bite marks, his limbs weak. He can barely feel anything anymore, completely overstimulated. Still, he lets Yuuta do whatever he wants with him, cradling the boy in his arms when he comes inside over and over again.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta cries out as he pushes into him. Toge can feel the alpha growing bigger inside him, ready to hit his peak.
But something is making Yuuta resist. Tears well up in the boy’s eyes, face flushed as he bites his lip.
“Toge-kun,” Yuuta repeats, staring deep into his eyes. “Toge-kun Toge-kun Toge-kun—”
He realizes what Yuuta wants, then. He can’t help but smile. He reaches up and brushes the boy's tears away, before baring his neck for the other.
Yuuta doesn’t hesitate, gaze darkening as he surges forward and sinks his teeth into Toge’s scent gland.
Toge gasps, eyes widening at the pleasure that rushes through his body, moaning and trembling in response. He feels his dick twitch pathetically as he orgasms, already spent dry. He had no idea that a mating bite would feel so heavenly.
It seems to impact Yuuta just as much as well, the boy instantly coming, filling Toge up yet again with a loud groan.
“Yuuta,” Toge pants out with a smile. Blood drips down his neck and onto the sheets. The warmth of it on his skin is strangely comforting.
Yuuta laps up the blood almost eagerly, soothing the wound. Every brush of his tongue against the sensitive area makes him shiver. When Yuuta pulls away, his lips and chin are stained red. Toge pulls him in for a kiss anyway, the taste of iron in his mouth. He digs his teeth into the man’s lip, hard enough to have him bleed, Yuuta moaning in response.
Toge sucks on the wound, savoring the taste.
A blood oath.
“Mine,” Yuuta breathes out against his lips. “Mine.”
“Yours,” Toge whispers out, smiling wide.
Toge avoids his sister’s glare as he and Yuuta sit in front of her on their knees, in the Gojos’ living room. Her hands are on her hips as she looks down at them scornfully. His father stands behind her, looking stone faced. Only Gojo looks relaxed, a wide grin on his face as he looks down at them, hands in his sleeves.
“What on earth were you two thinking?” Utahime scolds, making the two of them glance at each other sheepishly.
Yuuta’s rut ended yesterday. The boy was quite honestly mortified at himself when he saw Toge’s state, but after Toge’s reassurances, he calmed down. They cleaned up together and Yuuta spent the whole day taking care of him, from having him drink soothing tea to massaging his sore muscles to giving him the gentlest kisses on his mating mark.
Don’t apologize, Toge had told him, when the alpha looked at him with pain in his eyes. You wanted this just as much as I did, right?
At that, Yuuta had blinked at him for a few moments, before letting out a smile, giving him a kiss.
Of course, word spread quickly about what happened. Though Utahime and his father eventually found out that Toge had went to help Yuuta with his rut, they were shocked to hear that the two of them were now mates. They and Nobara had stormed over to the Gojo residence the moment they heard.
(Nobara stayed outside of the room for appearances sake, but Toge has a feeling she’s pressed her ear against the door anyway, trying to listen in).
“Why on earth didn’t you ask father before helping Yuuta with his rut?” Utahime continues harshly, making Toge wince.
Suddenly, she whips around to face their father, pointing her finger at him. “And you! Why didn’t you watch over him? It’s only been a few months since they started courting and you gave them this much freedom?!” she berates.
Yuuta isn’t spared from her wrath either. She frowns at the boy, making him gulp. “I hope you realize what you’ve done and are ready to take on the responsibility. To become mates before you get married is—”
“We’re getting married,” Yuuta blurts out.
This makes even Gojo blink at them in shock. His father and Utahime gape at them, eyes wide.
“WHAT?” Nobara yells, slamming the door open. So he was right about her listening in after all. It seems like his father and sister are too stunned to argue about it.
Yuuta grabs Toge’s hand, and Toge squeezes him in reassurance as the boy continues to speak.
“I already asked, and Toge-kun said yes,” he says, keeping his gaze on Utahime. “That’s why we went through with having Toge help me with my rut.”
Utahime stares at them before letting out a tired sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Honestly, you two…”
“C’mon Utahime,” Gojo chides, subsequently making her glare at him. “It’s fine isn’t it? We always wanted them to get married anyway.”
Utahime straightens. “But this is—”
“It’s fine,” his father cuts in, making Utahime stop and glance at him in surprise. Toge stares at him too, eyes wide.
“Father…” Utahime says softly.
His father just lets out a small smile. “You want this, right, Toge?” he asks.
Toge blinks at him, before slowly nodding. I do.
“You’re happy with Yuuta-kun?”
He glances over at the boy, smiling at his hesitant look. Really happy, he answers, relishing in the way Yuuta’s face lights up.
“Then there’s nothing else to say,” his father concludes, turning around and heading out the door. “I’ll make plans for a bigger engagement party, but for now, let's celebrate with a bottle of sake. I’ll tell the maids to bring us your best liquor, Count Gojo.”
Gojo gives the man an amused look. “Nothing but the best for my baby brother~” he croons, making Yuuta grimace.
“I’ll drink!” Nobara cheers, moving into the room and punching both of them hard on the shoulder. “I guess I should’ve expected you two to be this crazy.”
Thanks, T oge signs with a dry expression, making Nobara stick her tongue out at her.
“Father!” Utahime calls out as she follows him out. “Are you sure about this?”
Viscount Inumaki just grins again, turning back. He watches his son smile like the sun as Okkotsu Yuuta wraps his arm around him with a smile just as bright.
“They’re meant for each other, those two,” he says, turning back around and continuing his steps. “I'm sure they'll be just fine.”
Toge’s sitting out on the porch, looking out into the garden. It’s late— the moon is high in the sky, covering the area in a dreamy blue light. A gentle breeze causes the grasses and leaves to rustle gently, a calming lullaby. Behind him, he can hear his family and friends talking and laughing in the house, enjoying the nice night with some alcohol. He came out here for a bit to catch some fresh air.
“Aren’t you cold?”
He smiles at the sound of the voice, turning around to see Yuuta watching him from the door with gentle eyes. The boy slides it shut quietly, moving to sit down, wrapping his arm around him.
Toge snuggles in close, resting his head on Yuuta’s shoulder. What’s going on in there?
Yuuta laughs. “Nobara and your sister are having the time of their lives.”
Toge chuckles at this. The two of them both suck at handling their liquor. He takes a deep breath, taking in Yuuta’s scent. This scent that he adores is now his and his alone. He reaches his hand up to his neck to brush against the mark there. It’s still a bit sore to the touch, but Toge finds it comforting.
Mates. He and Yuuta are really mates. It hasn’t completely hit him yet. But he knows there isn’t anyone else he’d like to be bound to.
Yuuta reaches up to brush his fingers against Toge’s mark as well, making him shiver. He scoots closer to the boy even though there isn’t really any more space to move. In response Yuuta just picks him up and puts him on his lap, lips turned into a smile. He giggles, burying his face in the other’s neck.
Suddenly, Toge detects a hint of anxiety from the other, making him frown. He moves back to look at Yuuta questioningly, tilting his head.
The boy seems to realize that their connection from the mark has given him away, because he lets out a sheepish smile.
“I…have a gift for you,” Yuuta begins, hand reaching into his sleeve.
Toge’s not exactly sure what he was expecting. Maybe another hairpin, or a necklace, or even something silly like some tangerines. Whatever he was expecting, it definitely isn’t the silver ring lined with small purple gemstones in Yuuta’s hands, shining brightly in the moonlight.
It feels like everything has stopped, including Toge’s heart. The only thing that seems to exist in this moment is Yuuta’s expression, eyes warm with love, and the ring in his hands.
When did you buy this? Toge asks, hands shaking.
“I bought it in London,” Yuuta answers, eyes glancing away for just a moment. “After I presented.”
The implications of his statement make him feel like he’s flying through the sky. Yuuta found out he was an alpha and immediately bought Toge a ring. He can't believe it. The amount of love he has for Yuuta seems like too much for his body to take.
He holds out his left hand, an invitation for Yuuta to put the ring on his finger.
Yuuta takes a deep breath. Toge notices his hands are also shaking.
“I-I know I kind of already asked,” Yuuta stumbles out, reaching out to take Toge’s hand. “But I wanted to make it more special.”
How silly. Every moment with Yuuta is special to him. Still, he appreciates the gesture, smiling wide.
“Toge-kun, I love you,” Yuuta says softly, brushing his thumb against Toge’s hand, “I want to spend forever with you.”
The boy takes another deep breath, gaze locked onto Toge’s. His blue eyes seem to shine in the gentle light.
“Toge-kun, will you marry me?”
“Yes,” he whispers quietly, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He’s never been more sure of anything else.
Yuuta slides the ring onto his finger, the metal cold on his skin. It really is a pretty ring. He practically tackles the boy as he moves to give him a kiss, laughing into it. Yuuta laughs too, hands reaching up to cup Toge’s face in his hands.
Forever with Yuuta. It doesn’t sound half bad.
