Words To Say

by wings_of_the_impala

Summary:

In which, there are too many assumptions and so much denial.

Or: Seokjin digs himself into a hole and Namjoon becomes his fake boyfriend. The lines start to get a little blurred - but at least it's not real, right?

Chapter 1: In Which Seokjin Plants a Cabbage

Notes:

A/N - I REUPLOADED THE CHAPTERS BC I DIDNT POST IN ORDER SO PLS JUST CHECK URSELF BEFORE U WRECK URSELF

Fuck.

The end.

Seokjin is dangerously close to combusting the ivory envelope with his gaze. It's creasing in his fist and he is back to panicking.

His career just started, it's going to take off and now -

A firm knock on his door grabs his attention, but before he could respond, he steps in, "Your father would like to see you in his office immediately, Mr. Kim." Seokjin doesn't have any time to tell Namjoon off, because once he relays the message, he is gone.

God. He is summoning him. He sent his fucking assistant, which means he is either preparing a lecture or a world-class ass-whooping.

I hope it's the latter.

Sighing, he throws the offending invite on his desk and slumps his way to his father's office. Just before he enters, he fixes his shirt and straightens his back, "Your collar." Namjoon looks above the frames settled on his nose. He is sitting just outside his father's office, ready to take calls or whatever it is he does.

Seokjin frowns, "What about it?" Trying to bend his neck to see his collar. His fingers are already fiddling with the top-button when he hears a heavy sigh, and then his hands are being batted away. Namjoon is behind him and setting his collar correctly before spinning him around to do the front properly. That's when he notices.

Seokjin's eyes are currently perfectly in line with Namjoon's mouth, and he can sort of see the groove of where his dimple deepens.

He and Namjoon were not like that. Not even in the slightest. Could he ever be with someone whose life is dedicated to kissing his father's ass?

It's a shame though, because Namjoon filled out nicely since their youth.

So he lifts his eyes to meet a very concentrated pair currently fixated on his neck, and Seokjin can feel his ears starting to heat. God, he hates this motherfucker.

Luckily, Namjoon pats down his shoulders, takes a step back and says, "It would be best not to test him today."

He nods and taps the door, more out of courtesy than anything, and pushes the door open. His father is sitting behind a huge cherrywood desk, neat save for the familiar ivory envelope poking its obnoxious flap above the surface.

"Seokjin, call Namjoon in for me." Why would Namjoon have to be present for this? This is a family matter and he refuses to be humiliated in front of him.

"Why?" Seokjin asks dutifully, biting his cheek. "Because I think you should lend an ear to his work ethic." He can taste blood, so he quickly releases his cheek and walks over to call Namjoon.

He inhales deeply and opens the door, "Namjoon," and gestures his head inside the room. Best to limit interaction with him. Before he leaves the door to close on it's own, he sees the other man sweep on his blazer. Not too long after Seokjin is seated in front of the giant desk, he hears, "Mr. Kim," and he just knows he's bowing to his father. Kiss-ass.

"Son, have a seat, please," His father gestures to the plush seat next to his own. Son? Okay, he's just baiting you, don't take the bait.

Lord, why couldn't this be an ass-whooping?

Namjoon promptly seats himself stiffly, patting his jacket as he does.

"I'm sure you know why I've called you, Seokjin," his father begins, and it doesn't sound too bad. His career might be able to walk out of this unscathed.

"Do you know how embarrassing it is to have received your younger cousin's wedding invitation?" Oh shit.

Seokjin hears the sharp inhale beside him and he knows Namjoon is holding his breath. Anytime one of them would get scolded, Namjoon would do his best to disappear.

"You're twenty-nine years old and have nothing to show for it," Seokjin's cheek is back to being mauled by his teeth, "Modelling?" He scoffs distastefully, "How do you think your mother would feel about her son selling his body for money?" He doesn't even bother looking up from the envelope on his desk. Seokjin's neck is probably red, he can feel the heat slowly taking over his vision but his eyes stay low.

"You know, Namjoon? Now, that is who I expect my son to be. I might as well make him heir, because you, Seokjin," He picks up his head and points straight at Seokjin, he lets out an empty laugh and Seokjin feels his veins freeze. At the corner of his eye, he sees Namjoon's hands clenching hard in his lap.

Oh.

It's a threat. Namjoon is supposed to be a threat here. But, is he really? When this is something that he never wanted...

"I don't have any words for you," his father shakes his head. "You're too old to be playing games with your future. You need to get serious, settle down. And I know it might be hard to find a partner that supports your lifestyle, but..." He trails off.

Seokjin wants to tell his father to say exactly what he wants, start a fight, let it out... but a thought occurs to him, "I'll give my shares to him! He can have it all," He sits forward in his seat.

His father's eyes widen slowly and Seokjin doesn't even want to look at Namjoon right now.

"Transfer everything, I don't want it! And who better-"

"Don't be ridiculous, Seokjin! You are my son and you will assume responsibility for this company," His father bellows, cutting him off.

"Namjoon is too-," Seokjin starts,

"Well, he's not blood-"

"But he is a part of this family!" Seokjin can see Namjoon's head swivel to look at him but Seokjin is on a mission and he'd be damned if he couldn't push through this.

"Excuse me?" His father locks eyes with him and he can hear a faint, "Yeah, what?" on his right.

Shit fuck shit fuck shit fuck -

"Look, I didn't want to tell you like this, but you've left me no choice, dad," Seokjin rises from his seat and moves to stand behind Namjoon. This is either going to work or end like hot kaka.

Namjoon's body turns to follow him, so his face was looking up at Seokjin's at an awkward angle. Seokjin reaches down, despite his body protesting, and presses his thumb into Namjoon's dimple. He locks eyes with him, silently pleading for him to get with the program.

Please remember, please remember, please -

And then a look of understanding dawns on his face and the frown clears from his face. Thank God.

"Namjoon and," He breathes, "Namjoon and I have been seeing each other for a while now." He rushes out in one breath. He can feel Namjoon's shoulders go stock-still beneath his palms.

It's already out, no going back now. Fuck.

Seokjin closes his eyes and braces himself, "We've been waiting for the right time to tell you."

"We are in a, in a, a seri-" he's stuttering now, shit. And his arms are moving all over the place, like he's trying to catch the words he's supposed to say. How is he going to be an A-List actor when he can't tell a tiny lie?

"Namjoon and I are in a serious relationship," he finishes.

"Yes, sir. I apologise for keeping this from you. As you know, Seokjin and I have always been close and it just," Namjoon audibly swallows,

"Blossomed," Seokjin adds.

"Like a beautiful, uh,"

"Cabbage," Seokjin cringes, what the full fuck. Namjoon is probably going -

"In the summertime." Namjoon completes for him. And who would have thought, after all these years, Namjoon still had his back? He can see the strain in Namjoon's neck so he improvises. He lifts his hand to pat the top of his head, but the hesitation is obvious so Namjoon lifts his head so his hand meets his hair.

"When the weather is hot," Seokjin adds, and he knows he should shut up.

And although his hair is soft, all Seokjin can think about is how unnatural this looks. He shows more affection for his car. He's patting his supposed-boyfriend's head like he just learnt how to roll over.

His father is currently staring at them. Regardless of how much he says he's accepted Seokjin's sexuality, it's obvious that he isn't quite comfortable with it.

Well, neither am I right now.

But Seokjin's got bigger fish to fry. He's just gotten an offer for a movie role and he wasn't backing down from the opportunity so easily.

"Seokjin!" He immediately snaps his hand back from Namjoon's head. "What?" He looks down to see Namjoon rubbing his eye. "Sorry, j-Joonie-baby." He sees his hand halt the rubbing and looks up to his father. The silence is actually tangible in the room.

Namjoon abruptly wakes up, startling them both.

"I think you gentlemen have some things to discuss and I need to submit the final proposal to Warner, so please excuse me." He bows to Seokjin's father and turns to him. He hesitates, and Seokjin can see his lips pucker and his head jolts forward a bit.

Kiss? Couples kiss.

Namjoon is a good metre away right now but instead of closing the gap, he tucks tail and quickly escapes the room.

Fucker. Seokjin smiles.

His father sighs, and he can hear his age in that breath.

"Are you serious about him?" Wait.

Shouldn't Namjoon be getting the third degree from his father?

"Well, yes. It's going to be our one year anniversary soon." It's easier to lie when he isn't in the room with Seokjin.

"And you didn't think I should have known about this?"

"Well, I - we. We thought that you might be uncomfortable with the news." His father is staring at him hard and it is nearly impossible for Seokjin to predict what is going on behind his eyes.

"Well, Namjoon is a fine young gentleman and I applaud your choice, Seokjin. However, he has a place in this company and so do you and unless you boys are planning on tying the knot, I will not allow the shares to be transferred." Seokjin sucks in a breath. Married? He can't get married, he's still young. Twenty-nine is young, right?

Fuck.

He doesn't want this. He doesn't want to sit at a big office desk and sign deals with actors, he wants to be the actor. This is a mess. He should just tell the truth.

Deep breath in.

Fuck.

How can he ask Namjoon for something like this? They aren't even friends. Not even close to it. They may not be actively trying to sabotage each other's lives but friendliness is a long way from where they were.

What if he has a girlfriend? What if he outright denies everything?

But Namjoon, if nothing else, was dedicated to his father's company. Day in and day out, Namjoon was someone who had put in the effort to help his father run this company smoothly. If the opportunity had to present itself, whereby he would be the inheritor to Seokjin's father's position - would he really pass it up?

No. He would not. Seokjin would simply have to make it seem shinier than what he sees.

Another deep breath.

"I am planning on asking him," Seokjin begins.

"What?" A raised eyebrow had never felt so demeaning.

"Namjoon," he feels dizzy, "I want to ask him to marry me on our anniversary," Seokjin is just as stunned as his father looks. He isn't even sure he has a pulse anymore, his ears are ringing with the stillness of the room and he isn't sure he is going to walk out of this with his head up.

"And when is this?" His lips are pursed in distrust. Eye on the prize, he needs to convince his father before Namjoon.

"October fifteenth," Seokjin answers, and he prays to god that neither his father, nor Namjoon, remember the significance of the date.

"And what? You expect me to accept this? After you've defaced this company with your modelling?" He says it as if it's a dirty word, unworthy of even being voiced by him.

Seokjin is pretty sure there is an entire hole in his cheek.

"We'll make up for it. Go public! Show that I've finally settled down and-," get a big fat divorce once this is over, "and he can have the rights to my shareholder position," Seokjin finishes.

A humourless laugh, and then, "and what? Show the world that I've failed in raising my son?" Seokjin steps back slightly, like he'd been pushed.

It stung. It stings. Fuck.

He wants to fight, and pull out the fact that no one raised him.

But God, he just got in. He's got a movie role with actual lines and if he has to bite back a few tears to hold on to it, so be it.

"Namjoon is more than capable. You've mentored him for over nine years and you know he would take good care of the company," Seokjin says, voice slightly shaking.

A thoughtful pause from his father.

"Well, I'll allow him to assume your duties, so as long as it stays in your name," Seokjin's head shoots up to look at his father in disbelief, "if you slip and make a fool of yourself, remember the impact it would have on Namjoon's career," Seokjin wants to jump on the table and scream. It worked. Holy shit. It wasn't like Seokjin was a playboy, no, he kept his endeavours private.

Or nonexistent.

Shut up.

"Mmm, you're rather lucky it's Namjoon and not one of your miscreant friends." Seokjin feels the blood in his veins start to move. Rioting would be a better term, almost as if it were molten iron flowing and god, he can't fuck this up.

Seokjin smiles. Sweet enough that his father seems uncomfortable, he looks away. Seokjin managed to save his own ass.

At what cost? Now, he needs to face Namjoon. How is he going to look at Namjoon in the eye after what he's just done? Asking him for help makes Seokjin's stomach turn.

Should he tell him he got a job? Or was this enough for now?

It's probably best to let him process this first.

"I have a meeting now, so excuse me." Seokjin is about to leave when, "Congratulations, Jin," He paused because, Jin? But still bows to his father in thanks. He could be fucking respectful.

Fucking Namjoon setting standards.

As he leaves the room, he catches sight of an empty chair. Namjoon's chair. That bitch.

He'll deal with that situation later. He huffs and treks to his office. When he opens his door, he is met with Namjoon tapping away on his cellphone. Behind Seokjin's desk. He doesn't acknowledge or even react to Seokjin entering the room, so Seokjin closes the door with a bit of force. A pause in the tapping and then Namjoon's long fingers continue their little dance across the screen.

Seokjin clears his throat and walks over to tap Namjoon on the shoulder.

Nothing.

Seokjin sucks in a deep breath and squints really hard, he can see Namjoon texting someone called "Jackson". He can see a lot of colour in the brief glimpse of the screen, so there must be a lot of emoticons in the interaction. Why is he texting a kid?

Whatever, that isn't the issue right now.

"Uh, Namjoon?" Seokjin calls, and still, the typing continues and a hoard of text now fills the screen. He must be really invested in this conversation, "Namjoon?" Seokjin tries a little bit louder.

He's ignoring him. God, this fucking asshat is really ignoring him and sitting in his fucking chair,

"Namjoon," Seokjin demands. As nonchalantly as ever, the other man locks his phone and lifts his head as if to enquire what Seokjin was doing, talking to him, in his office. Seokjin is slightly intimidated, but he'd be damned to hell if he let Namjoon know that.

"Uh, we need to talk..." Fuck. Hell it is then. He pulls his hand away from where it was rubbing the back of his neck and tries to stand a bit straighter.

"Mmm," and a slow blink as if he's bored, Seokjin can feel his blood pressure rising.

"I said we need to talk."

"Is that so, Seokjinnie-baby?" The endearment sounds like acid, it curdles in his ears and Seokjin feels slightly ashamed. It was for a good cause, and it's not like he isn't going to benefit from it.

"Listen, I know what I did-" Seokjin begins but is resolutely cut off by Namjoon standing up and towering over him.

He doesn't even have time to gulp when, "You want to talk? Sure! Do you want to tell me what the fuck just happened?"

"I was trying to and then you-"

"How dare you."

Namjoon's eyes are burning a hole straight through Seokjin's resolve and the proximity, their chests almost touching and their faces mere inches apart, is way too much interaction. Just as Seokjin wants to step away, the door opens and before he can scream at the lack of boundaries in this office, Yoongi pops his head inside.

Now, Yoongi is generally a reserved person, calm and constant, always so sure and confident when he speaks. So seeing his narrow eyes widen at the sight of Namjoon and Seokjin was quite something, "Oh, christ," and then he starts to close the door, "I ain't even here,"

Namjoon hasn't even moved from staring Seokjin down, so he steps away and sighs, "What's wrong, Yoongs?" Seokjin gulps. Yoongi even pauses his tirade with the door, but seeing the flush on Yoongi's cheeks makes him calm some.

Yoongi drops his arms and shrugs, "You weren't answering your messages and-uh Hobi and I had a meeting in the building," he rushes out, starting to fiddle, "but you, uh - look busy so uhm, don't forget about our reservation tonight, please - okay, bye," he's gone and the door slams shut behind him. Seokjin squeezes his eyes tight, already going through how he's going to have to explain this tonight. He didn't even know Yoongi had brown eyes - until this moment.

"Fucken 'cabbage'?" Namjoon breathes behind him.

Seokjin turns, "I don't fucking know! I was pressed," Seokjin runs his hands through his hair.

Namjoon turns his head at the faint, "cabbage?" that is coming from outside the door. Then a loudly whispered, "No-you, shhhh!"

Seokjin marches up to the door, and swings it open to find Hoseok and Yoongi crouching at the keyhole.

"Hyung! I just wanted to come by and say hello!" At the same time Yoongi says with deadpan, "I dropped my pen," and Seokjin really wants to be irritated but a breathless laugh leaves him.

Such shitty liars. He smiles, "I'll fill you in later, just," Seokjin still has the giggles, "can ya'll fucking leave," Hoseok is trying to look over Seokjin's shoulders, trying to catch sight of Namjoon and probably trying to deduce what Yoongi just saw.

"Okay! See you later," With a look, glancing over Seokjin's shoulder, "oh, by the way - I wanted to ask if it's fine if I bring a date? I don't wanna be a third-wheel, again," Hoseok glances at Yoongi and then back at Seokjin.

Seokjin looks at Yoongi, trying to gauge his reaction. The last time they went out, Seokjin and Yoongi had gotten shitfaced and Hoseok fell asleep while they sang karaoke in a dodgy bar.

Yoongi just shrugs and Seokjin nods, "Okay, then - have fun! Bye, Namjoon-ah!" He winks at him. This motherfucker actually winked at him.

This time Seokjin watches them enter the elevator at the end of the corridor before he closes the door.

"Fucking cabbage? Cabbage doesn't even grow in Summer, you're a fucking cabbage!"

"No-no, you're a cabbage!"

"You don't even know when the cabbage grows and you wanna call me a cabbage, you -"

"Seokjin, Seokjin- just before you call me a cabbage, is this the issue here?" Seokjin pauses and locks eyes with Namjoon, he can't help his lips twitching into a smile. He can see Namjoon pulling the corners of his lips down to train a laugh.

Seokjin forgot how powerful Namjoon could be when his smile was directed at him. He felt like a kid again, trying to figure out why Namjoon had dimples and he didn't. They hadn't spoken more than a few sentences to each other for decades but it still had the same impact that it did on teenage-Seokjin who'd just discovered he liked boys.

No, Namjoon was an asshole. He was in school, and he still is now.

"Look, this might work out for you as well," Seokjin begins, voice raspy, "you'll get all my shares and my position if we keep this facade up," Namjoon looks thoughtful, furrowing his brow.

"I don't like this, we're lying to your father," time for Seokjin to suck up some of his pride.

"Namjoon, please. I got an offer for a production with actual speaking lines and I can't -" he stops himself, he sounds desperate and he doesn't want Namjoon to know how much this means to him.

Not like he'd care anyway.

"And I'm supposed to roll over, Seokjin? You haven't spoken to me for thirteen-years and I'm supposed to help you out?" Seokjin is confused, he thought it was longer than that.

"Thirteen - oh," it dawns on him. Hoseok's sweet sixteenth. Namjoon has the grace to blush deeply at the memory but Seokjin purses his lips. That's part of the reason why Seokjin retracted from Namjoon.

"I know- I know you might not agree with me being, uh, gay," Seokjin lifts his eyes to Namjoon's, "but it's a pay raise, you could -" Namjoon laughs, but it sounds bitter and shakes his head.

"What?" Seokjin is trying to be friendly, god, why is he being difficult?

"Number one, why do you always assume shit? Number two, what if I had a partner, too? What should I tell them, Seokjin?" He hates his name. And "too"?

"What did I assume?" Seokjin bites back, starting with the first question.

"Well, for starters, you assumed I would just help you because you-," he cuts himself off, gesturing to his cheek. Seokjin flushes; he had no choice. He was cornered, and so what if he used an old gesture from their childhood? It meant nothing - he knew how to communicate with Namjoon to trust him. What's wrong with that?

"And secondly, I don't have any problem with you being gay, Seokjin," he speaks so softly, but it was backed up with the solid eye-contact. Seokjin hums in distrust. Namjoon huffs a short laugh.

"Well, I'm glad you're no longer homophobic, Namjoon, but are you com-"

"I was never homphobic, Seokjin," his voice is hard and his lips are pressed into a thin line.

Seokjin can't seem to back it up, but he knows.

"Whatever," Seokjin shakes off the odd stare Namjoon is digging at him with, a pause and then, "well, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Isn't that moot, now? It's kind of too late to go back," Namjoon levels his gaze with Seokjin, and Seokjin can't help but feel a little pathetic. His own father thinks he is a failure.

Whatever, he can cry later, right now he needs a plan.

"Are you in or not?" Seokjin asks, tiredness starting to wear off the adrenaline in his body.

"Don't count on anything, but," Namjoon says, "I'll think about it." Seokjin feels relief rush through him. It wasn't a definite 'yes', but it isn't a 'no' either.

Namjoon starts walking towards the door, and doesn't stop when Seokjin starts to speak, "You've been working for this opportunity for years, Namjoon - I know you can do it, you're -" but before he could finish, the soft click of the door separates them and cuts off the one-sided conversation.

"Fucken cabbage."

 

Chapter 1: THE CATS

yall i realized i have to change the cats' names be patient with me bc fuck that bitch

Chapter 3: In Which Seokjin Makes Hot Chocolate

Notes:

THANK U FOR READING I WILL DIE FOR U GO BLEEE

Yoongi is looking at Seokjin like he just spilled juice on his lap. Hoseok’s jaw is on the table and his date, James? Jordan? Whatever, his date is sitting on his phone, eyebrows raised as if he’d been listening but didn’t want to seem intrusive. 

 

Hoseok doesn’t even look all that interested in his date, never does actually. He usually just stares at Yoongi like he hung the stars, after trying to reel in his attention by being affectionate with his date. They never saw the same person twice. 

 

Well, except for Yong-Bok. Seokjin shivers at the thought. 

 

Yoongi nods, eyes on the table, like he understands, “What if he does have a partner?” He looks straight at Seokjin now. He cowers in his seat and suddenly Seokjin wants to escape the intimacy of the corner-booth they were sitting at. 

 

Seokjin knows what he did was selfish. He knows - but Namjoon is an asshole and karma had to be dished out in some way. 

 

“I had no choice, and it isn’t like Namjoon isn’t going to benefit from this shitfest,” Seokjin uses the same argument, but it sounds as weak as it did earlier. 

 

Hoseok seems to have gathered himself, “Yes, but you can’t make that decision for him, Hyung.” 

 

Seokjin knows this. He feels bad, but he just thinks that’s just because Namjoon is hot. 

 

“I know how you felt about him, is it even a good idea to get involved like this?” Yoongi asks him honestly and Seokjin feels his neck heat up. His ears are probably burning red at the tips. 

 

“No one is getting ‘involved’ , Yoongs,” he air quotes “involved”, because honestly? What a joke. As if he would get involved with Namjoon like that , “This is business. He is an asshole and people don’t change.” He finishes. 

 

Yoongi and Hoseok give each other a look . Hoseok’s date for the night has disappeared and Seokjin kind of wishes he were here so he could relieve some of the tension. 

 

“Hyung, it’s been years. Have you spoken to him about what happened since then?” Ever the diplomat, Hoseok. Yoongi looks over at him, expectantly. 

 

Seokjin scoffs. 

 

“Talk about what? He is homophobic, -” 

 

“Seokjin-” 

 

“No, Yoongi. People don’t change, not like that,” Seokjin presses his voice against them, and it’s hard. He’s still a little sour about how Namjoon pushed him away once he found Yoongi and Seokjin trying to kiss. 

He thought that his friend had just been drunk and panicked. The days following had proved him wrong. Namjoon cut him off completely. What stung (and Seokjin can still feel the embarrassment from that moment) was how Namjoon flinched so hard when he tried talking to him. All he had done was put a hand on his arm and Namjoon just swept him off like he was dirt and walked off.   

 

I am gay. I am not dirty. 

 

There isn’t anything wrong with him. 

 

Namjoon can go fuck himself. 

 

There is lull in the conversation and Seokjin is too consumed with his thoughts to notice it. 

 

“So, like… what’s the plan?” Hoseok asks casually, but it’s strained and he can hear it. 

 

“Actually, I-uh…” Seokjin begins and his face flushes with embarrassment. Yoongi’s head pops up, “what else did you do?” 

 

“ImayhaveimpliedthatIwasgoingtoproposetoNamjoon,” Seokjin rushes out, his ears burning. At this point his ears are going to just fall off. Fuck . 

 

“Excuse me?” Yoongi has the courtesy of asking, unlike Hoseok who is sputtering his wine all over the table. 

 

Seokjin repeats himself. 

 

“Hyung, marriage is…” 

 

“A bit too far! I know, but… he didn’t want me to sign over my rights. Actually, he still won’t but I’m sure we can convince him,” Yoongi nods. 

 

“Are you sure you want to give this up? I mean, while you still have the opportunity?” Yoongi tries to bargain. 

 

Seokjin is not budging. He nods once. 

 

The rest of the night is a desperate attempt at finding the usually relaxed atmosphere. Seokjin’s leg rattles the table at one point and Hoseok asks him to stop bouncing his leg. Yoongi keeps throwing glances at him and Hoseok’s date never returns. Not that anyone really notices… Hoseok is practically sitting in Yoongi’s lap by the time they wrap it up. 

 

----

 

He shoots up in bed, panicking. Seokjin can hear his phone ringing and, god, he really needs to change his ringtone. 

 

It’s an unknown number. It’s also five AM and whoever the fuck is phoning him at five in the fucking morning can fucking take a hike. 

 

But what if someone is hurt? Fuck.

 

His heart is still racing from being woken up so abruptly but he answers, “Seokjin, Hello.” His voice sounds like he just swallowed a cup full of sand. 

 

“Yes,” is all the tinny voice answers back. Seokjin is in flight mode, he really does not have time for this. 

 

“Hello, who is this?” He can hear the irritation leak into his voice. 

“It’s Namjoon. How do you not have my number saved?” And of course, who the fuck else would fucking call him at unholy hours of the morning. 

 

“What? Why would I need your number?” He rubs his face, trying to settle his pulse and wipe the sleepiness away. 

 

“Emergencies? I don’t know, Seokjin,” he sounds exasperated, “Also, did I wake you up?” now he just sounds like he jumped right back on that stupid high-horse, “it’s five o’clock.” And Seokjin would like to punch Namjoon in his stupid mouth. 

 

“You fucken cabbage, you’re calling me at five in the fucking morning?” Seokjin asks, he just wants to fucking sleep. He hears a huff, and… a laugh? He frowns, why the fuck is Namjoon laughing at him? But it’s cut off with a brief cough and then, “I accept. Your offer, I mean,” Namjoon says. 

 

If Seokjin weren’t already sitting up, he would have rocketed out of his bed upon hearing Namjoon. 

 

“What?” The question is stupid but he’s not firing on all cylinders right now. 

 

“Okay, look. It’s Saturday. I’ve got the day off and you do too - so let’s meet up to discuss this,” It’s not really a question so Seokjin nods. 

 

“Seokjin?” 

 

“Oh, shit. Cool, cool - uh, just text me the details,” Seokjin saves himself gracefully. 

 

“Is eleven okay?” He asks. 

 

“Why are you using so many words with numbers, Namjoon? Maybe you should go back to bed,” he’s whiny and he just wants to sleep. 

 

“ Okay , twelve then?”

 

“Ya, ya - go away now,” Seokjin’s head hits the pillow and his eyes are so, so heavy.

Namjoon is saying something but the black behind his eyelids pulls him in.

 

-----

 

Seokjin is standing in front of a picturesque building. It’s pretty but kind of ugly if you look too closely. The walls look like they’re a wind away from collapsing, the balconies are fenced with wrought-iron, twisted in uncomfortable swirls. He sees a balcony that’s thrumming with plants, hanging over and bright. There’s a little wind-chime hanging on the side of it and it looks like a child’s mural. Painted bottle tops and pink beads hanging restlessly from the top. He vaguely remembers making one that looked like that. He always liked pink. 

 

Once he makes his way to the front door, after a static intercom debacle - Seokjin hesitates. His hand is lifted to knock but he doesn’t. 

 

His heart is bucking against his sternum and Seokjin thinks he should just leave. 

He basically forced Namjoon into this. He doesn’t deserve to be helped like this. 

Christ, he basically -

 

The door swings open, “Were you planning on actually knocking?” Namjoon is standing there, brown hair sparkling in the muted sunlight coming in from the curtains, a lavender t-shirt loose and hanging around his body, and then - jeans? Who the fuck wears jeans at home? 

 

Who even goes as far as to cuff their jeans at home? 

 

Fucking psycho. 

 

A psycho that looks like they just stepped off the cover of GQ. 

 

“Uh, Seokjin?” Seokjin snaps his eyes to his, he’d been staring at his hair. It’s just the stupid lighting, it makes it look like Namjoon was being circled by a golden halo. 

 

“Why are you wearing jeans?” Namjoon looks down, and frowns when he looks back up at Seokjin. He shrugs and gestures his head inside the door. 

 

It’s awkward as shit. Seokjin is looking at Namjoon, and Namjoon is staring right back at him. In his fucking soul, christ. They’re sitting in Namjoon’s lounge, and it’s very earthy. The couches are brown leather, beaten and used with time. The walls are off-white and covered entirely by deep green accents. And plants. God, there are plants every-fucking-where. 

 

Seokjin can feel something crawling on him. 

 

Seokjin clears his throat and breaks eye-contact, “So, uh - what’s the plan?” 

 

“Hah-” Namjoon’s mouth hangs open, “are you serious? You didn’t plan anything? Like - nothing?” 

 

“I did!” Seokjin splutters.

 

“Oh, okay - then what’s your plan?” Seokjin blanks at the question. 

 

“Well, maybe I didn’t but that’s none of your business,” Seokjin crosses his arms petulantly, but his eyes are trying to burn a hole into Namjoon’s forehead. 

 

“Seokjin, you literally dragged me into this, I think it is my business,” 

 

“Well, it’s not my business what you think,” 

 

“Seokjin - okay, wait. I’m not attacking you, I was just asking if you prepared for any of this,” Namjoon’s voice dropped, his palms raised as if he didn't want to scare Seokjin. 

 

That’s not how his tone was before, but Seokjin doesn’t feel like fighting - he’s still tired from yesterday. 

 

Releasing a breath, he answers honestly, “No. I didn’t even want to think about it.” Namjoon nods in understanding, the gesture is so much like Yoongi’s, even the little frown atop his brow. 

 

“Okay, so before we get into this, uh - would you like something to drink?” Namjoon stands quickly and claps his hands together. His cheeks look slightly darker and his Adam's apple bobs. 

 

Seokjin smiles awkwardly, he is kind of thirsty. He nods, “What do you have?” 

 

“Oh, uh… I don’t have any coffee but there’s a bunch of different teas and hot chocolate, if you want?” Seokjin isn’t in the mood for tea. 

 

“Hot chocolate, if you don’t mind. I can help you make it, if that’s alright?” Like fuck Seokjin is going to sit there and watch Namjoon possibly spit in his hot chocolate. 

 

“You don’t have to do-”

 

“I want to!” 

 

“Seokjin, I’m not going to do anything funny to your hot chocolate,” and now his ears are burning. Just fucking dandy. Is he really so transparent? 

 

“It’s not that, it’s manners?” He tries. 

 

Namjoon laughs and it sets a weird feeling in his stomach.

 

Seokjin’s probably just hungry. He didn’t eat when he checked his phone and threw himself in the shower and out the door. 

 

“You still have those?” Namjoon jests with a raised eyebrow, and Seokjin just settles him with a dull look. He makes his way to Namjoon in the kitchen, which really is just a few paces from the connected lounge area.

 

“Yes, Namjoon. I’ll have you know your mother thought I was lovely,” he replies, lifting a spoon with menace. Namjoon snorts, “She still asks about you, actually.” Is all he receives back. 

 

Seokjin feels out of sorts, they’re not chummy, so when he asks, “Oh, how is she doing?” he doesn’t quite understand why. 

 

Namjoon’s head lifts in surprise, and he’s absolutely massacring the hot chocolate powder, “She’s good. Older and naggier, but good,” he says and Seokjin can only nod. 

 

A few seconds pass and Namjoon is getting on Seokjin’s nerves, “Are you trying to kill the hot chocolate? ‘Cause I promise, it’s already dead, Namjoon.” Seokjin immediately pulls the cup and fork from him and adds a little bit of hot water to the paste that Namjoon had been fighting with. “Cinnamon?” He remembers Namjoon liking cinnamon in his hot chocolate, he said it made his chest warm. 

 

Namjoon frowns and turns to a wooden cabinet that is littered with full bottles of spices. He never learned how to cook it seems. 

 

“Aha!” He pulls out an orange bottle from the back, knocking over a few in the front. “Fuck fuck fuck, take this-” Seokjin pulls the bottle from his hand and opens the lid to sniff it. 

 

The bottle was half-full but still had a good aroma, “You’ve been baking?” Seokjin asks - not looking up as he adds a pinch of cinnamon to each mug.

 

Namjoon is back at his side, a respectful distance being kept, “What? Oh, no! Uh, no,” Seokjin looks at him, that was weird right? Why is he acting weird about cinnamon? Whatever…

 

“Milk?” 

 

“Oat or normal?” 

 

“Don’t ever insult me again,” Seokjin narrows his eyes at him.

 

“So…”

 

“Whole dairy non-vegan milk, straight from the teet of a cow, Namjoon,” he says while making direct eye-contact with him. 

 

“You know, it’s so processed by the time it gets to us - I don’t think we know what fresh milk actually tastes like,” Namjoon begins, Seokjin just looks at him curiously. They’re not like this, well, not anymore. They don’t talk about fucking milk.

 

Seokjin doesn’t have to listen to Namjoon spouting random facts and theories at the drop of a hat because they aren’t friends. 

And that’s on Namjoon. 

 

He can see the dark tinge of pink settle on his face and neck, but he cuts himself off, deciding to help Seokjin beat in the milk. 

 

Namjoon has a concentrated frown on his face, his jaw juts out as Seokjin watches the milk splash out of the mug, “Slowly,” Seokjin says and Namjoon looks sideways.

 

“But you’re doing it fast?” He counters and Seokjin laughs, “Because I know what I’m doing,” he pulls the mug from Namjoon’s destruction and manages to mix in the paste and milk. By the time it looks homogenous, Seokjin places the mugs in the microwave. 

 

“How come you never boil the milk first?” Namjoon disturbs the humming of the microwave. Before he can answer, he pulls the microwave door open and gives the hot chocolate a stir and then, “Messes up the powder. And the cinnamon gets to cook in the milk,” Namjoon nods but Seokjin doubts he understands. 

 

Oh . Oh fuck no. 

 

Namjoon knows that Seokjin remembered how he used to drink his hot chocolate in fucking high school. Nonononononononononononono -

 

And his ears are burning. God, this is embarrassing. Can’t he just leave and dig a hole and just never crawl out of it? Fuck me .

 

“You used to make the best hot chocolate,” Namjoon tries and it does nothing. If anything, it’s more awkward now and Seokjin doesn’t know what to do with himself.

 

“I still do!” He counters.

 

“No, no! Of course, I just haven’t had it in a while, ‘cause - y’know?” Namjoon rubs the back of his neck all the while gesturing to the huge neon-pink elephant in the room. 

 

“Well, that isn’t my-,” the microwave beeps and it cuts whatever weird feeling had been in the room. 

 

It’s probably best that they don’t fight right now. 

As much as he hates to admit it, Seokjin needs Namjoon right now. 

 

Seokjin stirs each mug and touches the spoon to his lips to see if it’s hot enough. 

 

“Shall we?” Seokjin picks the pair up and gestures to Namjoon to lead the way. 

 

He just nods and Seokjin follows him to a beautiful oak table in a room adjacent to the lounge. 

 

“You know, this place looks like it’s about to decompose from the outside,” Seokjin is already sitting, and Namjoon’s head shoots up as he settles into his chair. 

 

He smiles.

 

He hasn’t seen so many smiles directed at him in a very long time and Seokjin doesn’t feel good. He feels almost… sad. 

 

“They actually renovate every few years, but they wanted to keep the structure and look the same, I guess,” he starts, “But the structure is sound, the outside is just for aesthetic purposes. The charm sells,” Namjoon explains. 

 

“Yoongi would love that,” Seokjin says absent-mindedly, not really knowing how to respond. Namjoon frowns at that, his jaw jutting forward before he sips his hot chocolate. 

Whatever he’d been thinking was dissolved by the hot chocolate in his hands. 

 

“Thank you, it’s good,” Seokjin nods, and he can see Namjoon’s eyes are bright and there’s a soft, unconscious lift on his lips as he takes another sip. He looks at his cup like he’s trying to figure out what’s in it. 

 

“You watched me make it, Namjoon. I didn’t poison it,” Namjoon relieves the mug from his stare. 

 

“I didn’t think you did. Mine never turns out like this, and believe me, I’ve tried,” Namjoon answers. Seokjin shrugs, he just wants to go home. 

 

“So…” he begins uselessly. 

 

“What happened once I left the office?” Namjoon mercifully asks.

 

Oh fuck. Nevermind, that is not a mercy. 

 

“Look, I understand if you want to back out,” Seokjin begins and gulps down a chunk of air that feels like nails, “but, I, I implied that I’d be proposing to you soon because that was the only way he would have let this slide,” he feels like he just ran a race and he doesn’t want to look at Namjoon. 

 

Fuck, he really doesn’t. 

 

He does. 

 

Namjoon is just looking at him, eyes wide and mug frozen mid-way between the table and his mouth. 

 

“I’m sorry, I know how you feel about me liking men, and it’s not fair of me-” Seokjin really doesn’t know what he’s apologising for, but he’s uncomfortable and his voice is slightly higher than usual - he should just leave. 

 

Something Seokjin says snaps Namjoon out of the daze he’d been in and he puts down the mug with more force than he needed to, “I told you to stop assuming shit, Seokjin,” Namjoon says, “I was never homophobic,” Seokjin purses his lips at his soft tone, but whatever Namjoon’s journey is, really isn’t anything to do with him. 

 

But he just sounds frustrated. How can he be irritated when he was the one that fucked up their friendship? 

 

“Okay, I’ll bite,” Seokjin tests, “are you comfortable with all of this?” He is met with a humourless chuckle. 

 

“What kind of question is that? We haven’t spoken in years and I’m supposed to be in love with you now , Seokjin?” Okay, back it up… where’s the soft voice? 

 

If this had been 13 years ago, Seokjin would have jumped at the opportunity to be with Namjoon, even if it was fake. 

 

Right now, Seokjin wants to fucking throw this hot chocolate in his face. 

 

He’s just pretending to not be homophobic for the shares, and Seokjin can’t really fault that. It’s a job. 

 

“I thought you agreed to this?” 

 

“I did, but don’t ask pointless questions,” Namjoon’s voice is solid and Seokjin sits up a little straighter. He will not be intimidated by this asshole.

 

Just to show how unaffected he is, Seokjin drinks his hot chocolate while locking eyes with Namjoon.

 

“Back to the marriage thing - are we getting divorced? What’s the time period?” Oh, shit. 

 

He doesn’t seem mad about it, “I thought we’d give it a year after the registration so all the paperwork is settled and everything is officially under your name,” Namjoon nods, deep in thought. 

 

“When are you ‘proposing’ to me?” he asks, even using air quotes around ‘proposing’. 

 

“Uhm, on our anniversary.”

 

“Did you give your father a date?” Seokjin wants to shrivel up and die.

 

“October fifteenth,” he mumbles into his empty cup. There’s a slight pause on the opposite side of the table and then a soft ‘oh’. God, he remembers. He doesn’t know why he said that stupid date but he did and now he has to face the embarrassment. 

 

Stupid. So fucking stupid. 

 

“Working a bit backwards, but what about pet-names?” Namjoon doesn’t mention the date and Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“Well, let’s avoid overly-sweet names, huh?” He waits for confirmation from Seokjin so he nods, “What are you comfortable with being called?” Seokjin really just wants to go home, this is weird as fuck and he honestly doesn’t deserve this. 

 

“Seokjin? I don’t know, call me whatever, it’s not like it means shit,” Seokjin swirls the debris of the hot chocolate at the bottom of his cup. It would taste bitter. 

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin chokes on thin air. Absolutely the fuck not . 

 

“It makes sense. I used to call you that all the time,” He has a point but Seokjin just wants to fucking jump out of his chair and knock everything over.

 

Common sense ends up making an appearance and he reluctantly agrees. 

 

“And you can call me, uh…” Namjoon starts,

 

“Namjoonie!” Namjoon physically cringes and Seokjin mentally pats his own back. Good , if he’s uncomfortable, Namjoon needs to be as well. 

 

“I’m not eight any-”

 

“Namjooooonie,” Seokjin draws out and Namjoon sighs, “now that nicknames are sorted,-” 

 

“You do realize we need to spend some time actually getting to know each other so we don’t look stupid in front of company, right?” Seokjin rolls his eyes. 

 

“Well, doesn’t this count?” Seokjin counters. 

 

“If it does, this is a really shitty first date. No offense,” Namjoon says with nonchalance. Seokjin can’t help but feel a little offended. 

 

“I’ll have you know I am the perfect date! I never hog the popcorn and I always keep a spare toothbrush in my cupboard,” he fires back. 

 

“That’s a lie, you always eat the most popcorn! And you hog the covers!” 

 

Without thinking, Seokjin adds, “I had to make a plan to cover my ears because you snore like a freight train,” Namjoon’s cheeks darken with a rosey flush and Seokjin feels like a champion. 

 

“Whatever,” Namjoon concedes, “we can’t bicker constantly either - we need to look like we’re in love,” 

 

“I’m an actor,” Seokjin deadpans.

 

“Yeah, about that- you’re really shitty at lying by the way,” Namjoon adds. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “You want to talk with your cabbage in the summertime?” 

 

Namjoon’s dimples deepen but he tries to hold in a laugh, “You were the one who mentioned cabbage! You should be kissing my ass for helping you!” 

 

“Well, shit, Joon-ah - buy me dinner first-“ Seokjin’s phone starts blaring from the table. 

It vibrates heavily against the wood and draws their attention to the screen. 

 

It’s a picture of Yoongi sloppily kissing Seokjin on the cheek (New Year’s Day was a blackout save for this picture) and the words, “Oppa” flashing above it. 

 

Seokjin snatches the phone and answers it, “Hey,” his neck is heating up. It was just a joke - Seokjin is older than Yoongi by a few months but Yoongi behaves like he’s centuries older. 

 

He’s got nothing to be embarrassed about, “Jin-hyung, I need your help- where are you?” 

 

“Oh, I’m-,” He glances at Namjoon, “-out. What’s wrong?” 

 

“Uhm, code, uh fuck - what’s that colour? Oh! Red?” Seokjin frowns, Yoongi only ever calls in a Code Red when he needs help with a panic attack.

 

Once Seokjin used it because he was making egg-chutney but didn’t have any eggs. 

 

They banned him from ever using it unless someone was dying or dead. 

 

“I’m on my way, send me your location,” Yoongi was generally lucid during his attacks, Seokjin thinks it’s his body dealing with the aftermath of stress because Yoongi keeps everything tempered. 

 

“I’m at home,” 

 

The call cuts, “Well, I need to go now. Are you free tomorrow for lunch?” Seokjin is already moving out of his chair and tucking away his phone in his pocket. He hears a notification go off - he’ll just check it in the car. 

 

“Uh, yeah. What time?” Namjoon supplies. 

 

“Around one?” 

 

“Sure,” Namjoon is opening the front door for him and Seokjin nods in thanks before tumbling down the stairs to his car. 

 

----

 

“I’m a father, Hyung,” Yoongi is sitting on his kitchen floor with a shoebox cradled in between his legs. 

 

“What?” 

 

Yoongi looks up at him, seeming frail and too small for his oversized black hoodie,

 

He looks up at Seokjin, looking small and scared, “You’re an uncle,” he whispers.

 

“Yoongi, what -” he hears scuffling inside the box, and he walks closer, past the little breakfast nook to peer inside. 

 

Kittens. 

 

Two whole kittens. 

Chapter 4: In Which There is a Pop of Colour

Seokjin is looking for the best pet store near him while he waits for Namjoon. Seokjin told Namjoon to meet him at a restaurant that one of his friend’s parents owns. 

 

They even have several pictures of Jimin hanging on the wall from shoots he did around the world. Jimin is a kind boy with a bright smile and sweet cheeks. 

 

His parents were very supportive of his career and his, well - lifestyle .

 

He vaguely wonders how Jimin’s partners are doing… Jeongguk with his wide smile and curious gaze, always looking for something to fiddle with and try. Something to discover. Then there was Taehyung. Tae was a weird sort of presence because off the bat, he was so young at heart, even his smile vouched for it but Seokjin watched him. He had a sort of ancient wisdom about him and Seokjin was strangely comforted around Tae. 

 

Jimin loved them both, so differently and yet the love was still romantic and everything blissful in between. Seokjin couldn’t comprehend it at first but after a few months of hanging around them, it made it clear that they fit. They were always so sure about their place in the relationship, never any jealousy, never anyone being left behind. 

 

Seokjin honestly can’t imagine that for himself. Even if it was with one man. He’s probably just lucky to have seen so much love and synchronicity in one lifetime. 

 

It would never - 

 

“Hey! Sorry I’m late,” Namjoon is still in a rush, despite arriving, because once he sits down he jostles his hair and looks ready to run. 

 

The light seems to be surrounding him from the outside, where they’re sitting by the glass front of the shop. 

 

His hair is fluffed up, unkempt and Seokjin wonders how he never saw Namjoon like this. They live in the same city, work in the same building but Seokjin has just never seen Namjoon away from his office persona. 

 

Well, recently. 

 

It’s unsettling and he’s not sure he likes it. 

 

It’s much easier to hate Namjoon when all he sees is a robot.

 

But here, Seokjin vaguely thinks he looks celestial, almost powerful enough to take down man but so very soft. Almost as if he might dissolve and Seokjin might be sitting at the restaurant waiting forever. 

He clears his throat, “Hi,” Seokjin greets him. 

 

“What happened yesterday?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin feels stupid. It’s just Namjoon. 

 

Not some Godsent-touched-by-an-angel looking man. 

 

“Oh, uh, you know Yoongi?” Seokjin tests. Of course Namjoon would know him. They all went to school together.

 

“Yeah? Well, I usually go through production contracts with Yoongi and Hoseok instead of HR and help produce or whatever,” he rushes out, still trying to catch his breath. Seokjin frowns, he didn’t know that, “you’re close, right?” He nods. 

 

“Okay,” he drags out, still trying to process the information, “we’re parents now.” Namjoon’s eyebrows flit to the ceiling before it comes down in a severe frown. 

 

Seokjin smiles, “He found two kittens near the highway. They were in a box and now, you’re looking at a father,” 

 

“How old are they?” He asks. 

 

“Well, shit. I should have really asked whoever abandoned them on the side of the road, Namjoon,” Seokjin pulls his lips in displeasure and the man across from him laughs lightly. 

 

“Yoongi is taking them to a clinic today to do a checkup and shots,” Namjoon nods, still frowning slightly. 

 

“Do you have cat stuff?” He asks, giving the menu a once over and then closing it. 

 

Seokjin frowns, that’s really dismissive. 

 

“I was actually looking up good pet stores in the area,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes widen in… excitement? 

 

“I actually know a good one, it’s like twenty minutes away but they’re honest and actually care about the animals,” 

 

Seokjin’s frown deepens, “I didn’t see any pets at your house?” Namjoon’s cheeks tint and he bows his head to unconsciously pick at the menu. 

 

“Uh, yeah - I wanted to raise jellyfish for a bit so I did some research… but I go there sometimes to watch the fish,” if possible, his face reddens even more. It does sound awful and sad that a grown man in his late twenties likes to visit fish that aren’t actually his in his free time, but the action is so him . 

 

Seokjin backtracks. He doesn’t know Namjoon now, he just needs him. 

 

“Send me the address before we leave, then,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

“We could go there after we eat,” he rushes out, “I haven’t been there in a few months, so…” Seokjin nods, but God. Now he has to spend unnecessary time with Namjoon.

 

Just then, a waitress appears at the waste of their table, “Hey, Hye-Ji,” she beams brightly back at Seokjin. 

 

“Hey, Seokjin! Who’s your friend?” Seokjin cringes, but welp, it’s now or never. 

 

“This is actually my partner, Namjoon. Namjoon, this is Hye-Ji,” he introduces them, all the while hesitating to lay a hand on Namjoon’s. 

 

Her eyes catch the movement, so Seokjin quickly drops his hand on top of his, where it was laying on the table. 

 

She frowns with a small smile, “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone,” she sounds dejected. Seokjin can’t, for the life of him, understand why because he didn’t really hide his sexuality. 

 

She was right, of course. Seokjin hadn’t been romantically or sexually involved with anyone in over 2 years and suddenly, he’s having lunch with his soon to be fake-husband. It’s suspicious. 

 

So he laughs, “We tried to keep it as private as possible,” he smiles at her.

 

She shrugs and the tension melts, “Cute! Anyway, what are you gentlemen having?” 

 

Seokjin asks her for whatever Jimin’s mum prepared today, he really didn’t mind. 

 

“Please can I get the Jajangmyeon with ribs?” Namjoon asks politely. Seokjin wants to roll his eyes, fucking kiss ass . 

 

Once she walks away not without batting her lashes at Namjoon, a thought occurs, “You’re still a picky eater, then.” Namjoon bulks at him. 

 

“I’m not a picky eater! I just like what I like!” He blubbers and Seokjin smiles knowingly. 

 

“You used to order four things everywhere we went and if they didn’t have them, you’d sit and lick butter,” Seokjin points out. 

 

“Like I said, I like what I like,” 

 

“That’s an awful lot of ‘likes’ for someone who eats two things,” Seokjin teases and Namjoon looks up at him, ready to fire back with mirth in his eyes, like he knows he’s being toyed with. 

 

The smile drops from his face once he meets Seokjin’s eyes, and he schools it into something more refined and unreadable. 

 

Fuck . 

 

Seokjin shouldn’t feel anything at that but fuck, he forgot. He shouldn’t have been so ready to fucking remind him that they don’t have this anymore. 

 

And as much as Seokjin hates to admit it, it wasn’t anger that he felt at Namjoon at first. Seokjin was fucking destroyed that the one person who promised would love him no matter what - thought he was filthy.

 

It was a stupid, childish promise he believed. Seokjin knows now that trying to squash it down did nothing to tamper with it. He is gay. 

 

Slowly that hurt fermented and turned into bitter anger. 

Anger at his father who still hired Namjoon when it was glaringly obvious, to anyone that gave a shit, that they were not friends. 

Anger that Namjoon left him and didn’t want him around. 

Anger that Namjoon couldn’t even say he didn’t want Seokjin around, just the way he acted and brushed him off. Fucking flinching when he touched him. 

 

Fuck you. 

 

They were older now. Seokjin could act civilly and not let that anger curdle the situation. He could do this.

 

“So, uh… your shareholder position? You need to explain how that’s going to happen,” Namjoon breaks the tension slightly. 

 

He’s only doing it for the money. 

 

Seokjin devolves into what he should have been doing at his father’s production company. He does the bare minimum to get a paycheck but Seokjin knows where his attention lies. 

 

It was being in front of the camera, not behind the scenes. He can admit that. 

 

NetWatch would be Namjoon’s responsibility and Seokjin would be free. Namjoon wants it too, so it’s not like Seokjin is handing him a thorn to swallow. 

 

It’s just this relationship thing that they both don’t want. 

 

“Yeah, but when we get married,” he cringes, “it’s just a matter of signing the documents over to you.” 

 

Hye-Ji comes with their food, Seokjin has a bowl of squid stir-fry with rice and Namjoon gets his noodles. 

 

They begin eating and Seokjin forgets it’s uncomfortable, because he’s eating, he’s happy right now and he really doesn’t want to spoil this food and let it go unappreciated. 

 

“What happened to the jellyfish?” Seokjin asks and Namjoon’s head lifts from where it was slurping up noodles and he frowns. 

 

“Well, I don’t know if it is completely legal to buy jellyfish online and it isn’t like I can go to the shelter and adopt a jelly,” he shrugs.

 

“Who cares if it’s legal,” Seokjin rolls his eyes, “did you want a specific species?” He beats Namjoon’s aborted comment about legalities, but Namjoon just looks at him strangely. 

 

Seokjin knows about fucking jellyfish. 

 

Okay, maybe he doesn’t, but that isn’t the mission here. 

 

“I wanted to get Moon Jellyfish, but they’re really common, y’know? So they’d be more ethical to house as pets. But the ones that I want aren’t really available anywhere,”

 

“Which are?” 

 

“Well, there are cannonball jellyfish - they’re really cute and they just look like tiny cabbage heads, but their anatomy is pretty cool. Also, there's a box jellyfish but I didn’t want anyone to think I’d do anything, you know, crazy again,” his hands flip up and then he looks at Seokjin and his eyes widen, like he let something slip. 

 

Seokjin vaguely remembers learning about box jellyfish. Aren’t they ridiculously poisonous? Why would Namjoon do something with them? 

 

Why would he hurt himself with them? 

Why didn’t he want anyone to think he’d hurt himself with them? 

 

“Yeah, but there are a tonne of other jellyfish species that I still need to do research about, like did you know that they are the oldest multi-organ animal? That’s like years of evolutionary adaptation because, I mean they had to survive somehow, right? How did they look before?” Namjoon is just word vomiting at this point but Seokjin is happy that the tension from earlier has cleared but he really just sounds like he said something that he shouldn’t have. 

 

It’s weird, but that could be in Seokjin’s head. 

 

“What about chickens?” Namjoon frowns, pauses and then laughs lightly.

 

“Well, jellyfish, or their ancestors, have been around much longer than dinosaurs,” 

 

“Where are the fossils, Namjoon? We need fossils,” Namjoon smiles brightly and eats his food.

 

“They’re mostly water, so any remains we have are an anomaly,” he answers after swallowing. Just like that, the conversation sweeps past them until Hye-Ji comes with their bill. Seokjin covers it after winning a game of tug-o’-war with Namjoon who is pursing his lips and folding his arms across from him. 

 

“Seokjinnie, I’m really happy for you! I wanted to ask, how long have you known each other?” Seokjin looks at Namjoon and frowns. His eyes are wary. 

 

“Kindergarten,” Namjoon answers, “but we only started dating a few months ago.” He tells her after a pause. Seokjin can’t breathe. 

 

“Awww!” She whines, “That’s adorable! You guys are so cute!” She leans down to squeeze his shoulders before turning to wave at Namjoon. 

 

Seokjin’s ears are burning. 

 

His blood is thrumming hard against his eardrums and he looks at Namjoon. His face is blank. 

 

They forgot. 

 

That’s all there is to it. Seokjin shouldn’t feel bad about it, he just forgot that Namjoon thinks he’s filthy and they entertained some conversation so the food would go down easier. 

 

They both stand to leave when, “Seokjin-ah! What is this about a boyfriend?” and Jimin’s mom is waddling towards them with a warm smile. Seokjin grins back and Namjoon comes to a halt beside him. He steps forward with his arms wide so she can tuck herself in, “Where’s Pil-woo?” 

 

“Sleeping in the back,” she taps his chest, “now, introduce me to your young man, Seokjin.” She turns to Namjoon and he gives her such a soft smile that Seokjin stops for a second.

 

It’s just the lighting; the light is reflecting off of one of the tables and catching the ends of Namjoon’s brown hair, it looks like honey. Paired with the smile, it is a rather sweet combination. 

 

But Seokjin knows better. 

 

“Mi-jeong, this is Namjoon, my boyfriend. Namjoon, this is Mi-jeong, my friend’s mom,” Namjoon takes her hand in both of his and bows his head in a respectful greeting. 

 

She pulls his chin down to her height, inspecting his features and Hye-Ji is snickering behind Namjoon, whose eyes are innocently wide and cheeks squished to make his lips pouty. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Yah! Stop it!” He says and Namjoon frowns slightly before being released from her grip. 

 

“Seokjin, you’ve never brought a boy around here and you expect me to believe this is actually happening?” She turns to Namjoon, “How much is he paying you?” Seokjin’s smile drops straight off his face and into the pits of hell. Actually, if there was a place under hell, yeah - there. 

 

Luckily, Namjoon stays polite and laughs - it’s a joke. She was joking, but fuck that was not too far off the mark. 

 

“He looks like a prince, Seokjin-ah!” She marvels at Namjoon and his dimples become pinker than before and Seokjin knows he doesn’t know what to say. 

 

“Hey! I look like a prince too!” 

 

“I’ve seen too much of your face, Seokjin-ah,” she cackles. 

 

“He’s still pretty cute, I think,” Namjoon says and Hye-Ji squeals so hard, Seokjin isn’t sure how she hasn’t passed out. Seokjin wants to laugh because it sounds so cliché. They’re not an old married couple.

 

“Wait- wait, didn’t you meet when you were kids?” Seokjin and Namjoon turn to Hye-Ji and nod. 

 

“Seokjin was ugly as fuck! Why are you lying?” Hye-Ji laughs at Namjoon. 

 

“Language, girl,” Mi-Jeong scolds her with a stern look.

 

“Uh… you know? He was always a shining star,” He tries to cover up. 

 

“Alright! Everyone leave my boyfriend alone, we need to go to the pet store,” Seokjin is trying to pull them out because it keeps getting worse and he can’t laugh, “Namjoon,” he nods towards the door. 

 

“It was lovely meeting you both,” Namjoon bows in greeting and the women grin and look at Seokjin like they can’t believe Namjoon is real. 

 

“See y’all!” Seokjin waves and grabs Namjoon’s arm and pulls him out of the door and to his car. 

 

He unlocks it and they both get in. Instead of starting the car and driving - Seokjin stares through the windscreen without a thought in his head. 

 

“Uh, Seokjin?” Namjoon’s voice is soft but it still startles Seokjin from floating away. 

 

“Oh, what’s the address for the pet store?” He doesn’t know how long he was staring at the white wall in front of the car and he really doesn’t want to talk to Namjoon about how he’s lying to the people he loves.

 

Namjoon types the address into the map app on his phone, “Could I connect to your bluetooth?” He asks, Seokjin fiddles around and finally connects Namjoon’s phone to his radio. 

 

The second it connects though, End of the Road starts blasting through the speakers and Seokjin looks horrified at the deep voice telling him that he’ll be there until his dying day.

 

“Shit, sorry, sorry-”

 

“Leave it, leave it! It’s fine,” Seokjin assures him, he just adjusts the volume a bit. Seokjin pulls out of the parking spot and begins to follow the lady’s voice to the pet store. 

 

He can’t help it when he bursts into a fit of giggles, “I’m sorry,” he tries to control the laugh, “but who hurt you, Namjoon?” He laughs loudly, glancing at Namjoon in the passenger seat. He doesn’t look angry. 

 

“Don’t disrespect Boyz II Men,” he says and Seokjin pulls his lips in. 

 

“What happens if I do?” Namjoon just shrugs and picks up his phone and the song restarts. Namjoon puts on a smug smile on his face but 

 

Seokjin’s lips curl up, “You forgot who introduced you to good music, Namjoon?” Seokjin begins speaking in time with the intro of the song. 

 

He looks at Namjoon with a pained look on his face and begins singing, “ we belong together, and you know that I’m right …” he sings, even going as far as to bang his chest with the rest of the verse. 

 

“ Said we’d be forever… said we’d never die, ” Namjoon begins in an awful, scratchy high-pitch that Seokjin has to check his dashboard to make sure no caution lights were on in his car. “ How could you love me and leave me and never say GOODBYE,” he puts his hand out like he’s singing to a crowd. 

 

Seokjin joins him, “ WILL YOU LOVE ME AGAIN LIKE YOU LOVED ME BEFORE! THIS TIME I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME MUCH MORE-“ it’s chaos; their voices are hoarse by the time Phil Collins joins them through the radio and they’re laughing. It feels good and Seokjin doesn’t want to acknowledge that it’s Namjoon sitting beside him right now, so he indulges in it. 

 

The air in the car eventually becomes stuffed and awkward again, so Seokjin opens his window slightly so the quiet isn’t really apparent. Then, “Uh, did you come in a car?” Namjoon looks like he’d been deep in thought before he answers. 

 

“No. I only use it for work, I usually catch the bus if I need to be anywhere on the weekend,” Seokjin nods but he doesn’t really get it. Why would he use public transport if he had a car? 

 

“It’s good for the environment,” he unknowingly answers Seokjin’s thoughts.

“I would use it during the week but the times are too unreliable and I need to run errands anyway,” He finishes. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t get any time to answer because he’s pulling up to a building that looks shady enough that he triple checks if he had locked the car. Even glancing back and pressing the keyfob again to assure him that it is actually locked. He really likes the blue Camaro he has. He even adores the little dent that Yoongi caused on the side because he wanted to try skateboarding and he just never buffed out. It was a good few hours in the emergency room and a truth-serum-like painkiller. 

 

Seokjin found out that his shoulders were great that night.

 

“Calm down, it’s a good community,” Seokjin looks over to Namjoon who is already opening a rusty gate that creaks with the swing of movement. Seokjin pockets his keys and follows him through the entrance. 

 

Inside, it smells like any old pet shop. It’s nothing special, so he doesn’t know why Namjoon prefers this shop. In fact, it looks out-dated. The furniture behind and including the counter is all brown and worn, there are huge floor cushions that look a thread away from falling apart. From the back, a man around Seokjin’s height passes through and darts towards Namjoon at lightning speed. Upclose, he can tell that his paw-shaped name tag says “Jackson '' and Seokjin frowns. Wasn’t that who he was texting? Namjoon hugs him with fervour and Jackson returns it while Seokjin stands there feeling very much like he shouldn’t be watching. 

 

But the way Jackson tucks into his neck makes Seokjin stare with confused interest. Maybe he’s an affectionate friend? Seokjin can’t remember any of Namjoon’s family members named ‘Jackson’. 

 

They pull away from each other and Jackson stays in Namjoon’s arms, which are around his shoulders, “Finally! You really know how to tease a man, Namjoonie,” Jackson says and pats his chest, before fiddling with his collar. Namjoon ducks his head, “I’m sorry,” he says. 

 

“Well, it’s fine. I finally get to see you,” Jackson cups his face and Namjoon’s head lifts with his eyes crescented in a smile that deepens his dimples. Seokjin has never seen Namjoon look so… sweet.

 

Wrong. 

 

He has. And he remembers being on the receiving end of his bashful smile and he remembers how fucking fast it used to make his stupid heart beat. Seokjin hopes Jackson realises that Namjoon is straight before he gets himself kicked aside like dirt.

 

Watching them throws a heavy anchor in his stomach. 

 

He probably ate too much. 

 

Seokjin coughs into his hand to draw some attention to himself. It’s in Jackson’s best interests. 

 

Both their faces drop at the sight of him and Seokjin feels like he just threw up on their shoes, which is ridiculous, “Hi,” he feels so fucking awkward. God, can’t he just leave? They release each other and Namjoon steps forward to stand beside Seokjin and it eases him - why? He really doesn’t know. 

 

Namjoon lifts a hesitant hand to Seokjin’s lower back, setting it lightly as if he doesn’t even want to touch him, “Jackson, this is Seokjin. My, uh-”

 

“Partner,” Seokjin finishes for him, and sticks out a hand to the man standing across from them. Jackson frowns and then looks at Namjoon and Seokjin can see him nod slightly from the corner of his eye. Jackson looks back at Seokjin and back down at his outstretched hand before taking it.

He laughs, still looking slightly confused, “I didn’t know Namjoonie was dating anyone,” Namjoonie? Who the fuck - no . It’s none of his business. 

 

Seokjin plants a charming grin on his face and it feels like it’s sucking the life out of him, “We tried to keep it as private as possible,” then his curiosity gets the better of him, “How do you know, Joon-ah?” He asks, turning slightly into Namjoon. Body language is important if they want anyone to believe them. 

 

Jackson laughs and seems to have been cut loose from the tautness that was holding him back, it looks so welcoming, “Do you want to tell him?” he asks Namjoon. Seokjin looks at Namjoon whose skin is starting to resemble a stoplight. 

 

“Uh, Jackson helped me do research on jellyfish, anyway-” 

 

“Oh-ho-ho! Is that all I did?” Jackson adds with a sly smile. 

 

“Jackson-ah!” Namjoon actually whines and his hand is pressing harder against Seokjin’s back. 

 

“So, it’s like August, last year, right? And Namjoonie comes in, you know how he is? So timid and shy and-”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin adds to push the story along, getting slightly impatient. 

 

“Yeah, well, he eventually got to asking about jellyfish care and long story short, he broke a fisherman’s nose because he stepped on a crab on the pier while we were trying to catch jellyfish,” 

 

“That is not what happened!” 

 

“Oh? What happened then?” Jackson counters and Seokjin feels like he’s intruding on them again. 

 

“He- he killed it on purpose because I asked him to watch his step!”

 

“So you punched him?” Seokjin asks.

 

“No!” A pause and then, “Well, yes, but that’s because he was being a dick and calling us names,” he feels even more confused. 

 

“Why were you trying to catch jellyfish? I thought you said they sell them online,” Seokjin is trying to make sense of the story. Jackson laughs and Seokjin remembers that he was there. 

 

“Because breeding animals for domesticity is evil but catching them on the beach and taking them home is so much better,” Jackson’s voice is laced with sarcasm and affection and Seokjin wants to deck him. 

 

Which is unreasonable. He has no cause or reason to. 

 

Namjoon laughs, “Then why did you come?” 

 

Jackson looks at Seokjin, “You’re telling me that you would have passed up the opportunity to spend time with this cutie?” Oh, fuck him. He literally just told him that they’re dating and Jackson is flirting with him. 

 

He doesn’t care how fake this is. It’s the principle of the matter. 

 

Have some fucking respect.

 

“Can’t say I ever did. He asked me to hold a christmas beetle when he was four and now look at us,” Namjoon turns his head in surprise, a question in his gaze and Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“Four?” Jackson sounds nimble and Seokjin runs a victory lap in his head. 

 

“You remember that?” Namjoon questions. Seokjin cringes, but realises he can use the burning in his ears to his advantage, “Of course, Joon-ah,” and tries to give him a soft smile. Namjoon frowns so he assumes it came out like a grimace but that isn’t the mission. 

 

The mission is to show Jackson where the lack of fucking boundaries gets him. 

 

Namjoon is still looking at him with a slight frown, “I didn’t know that,” 

 

Seokjin matches the stare,”Unfortunately, I remember too much about you, Namjoon,” he reaches up to pat his cheek, and he says it as a joke, even laughing. 

 

But it isn’t a lie and judging by the way Namjoon’s face falls - he knows it too.

 

“So, guys!” Jackson claps his hands, “What can I help you with?” Whatever weird feeling had been festering a moment ago was dispelled by the clap. 

 

They quickly jerk apart and Namjoon stuffs his hands in his pockets as Seokjin starts explaining the situation. Jackson leads them to the cat-care section and leaves with a lingering look directed at Namjoon and a “shout if you need anything” for Seokjin. 

 

After two and a half hours of bickering over food bowls and blankets, the three of them are carrying mismatched cat clothes (“for the holidays, Namjoon!”); food bowls, about five types of wet foods and dry kibble (“they deserve variety, Jin”), an array of unnecessary toys (both he and Namjoon agreed on toys effortlessly), a mini water fountain (“I’m being serious, Jin. They said that they drink more water with it”) , two litter boxes, hoards of litter and an unassembled cat castle (“they deserve this, Joon-ah. We found them on the road”).

 

They’ve already packed the boot but Jackson pulled Namjoon aside earlier. So now, he’s just watching them behind tinted windows, praying to whatever-the-fuck that they can’t see him blatantly staring. 

 

Jackson is smiling at Namjoon sadly and he squeezes his eyes shut when they hug. 

 

Ugh, whatever, once this is all over - Jackson can take Namjoon to catch as many jellyfish as they want. Seokjin does not fucking care. 

 

Sure, he may have forgotten that Namjoon was an asshole for a few hours but it didn’t change the fact that he is one.

A fucking homophobic prick who leads on assholes who have no respect. 

 

Good. They fucking belong together. 

 

So, what? Seokjin wasn’t in the slightest endeared when Namjoon explained why a water fountain was better for the kittens and showed him how to check labelling for nutrition. It was free information and he took it. Who cares if the nickname slid off his tongue a bit too easily? They have roles to play and the easier they fall into pretending to be comfortable with each other, the less convincing they’ll have to do.

 

The passenger door opens, “Sorry, he just wanted to talk about something,” Seokjin shrugs and starts the car. He doesn’t particularly care about Namjoon’s personal life and he doesn’t need to. 

 

“Cool, cool,” and his voice sounds off and the conversation stalls. 

 

After ten minutes of driving towards Yoongi’s apartment and Namjoon’s fiddling with his fingers the silence is broken, “He hopes we’re happy together.” Namjoon blurts out. 

 

Seokjin nods because he really doesn’t know what to say. They’re not arguing, so why start throwing jabs unnecessarily? 

 

But, God - what a fucking reach. Happy together? Seokjin scoffs out loud. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Nothing.” He turns onto Yoongi’s street and enters the gate easily when the security guard recognizes him. 

 

“Bok-nam!” Seokjin exclaims and is met with the sweetest smile known to man. The boy could literally break hearts with those dimples. 

 

“Jin! You still owe me dinner,” Seokjin giggles and adds, “Finish college first and then come ask me.” He winks. He didn’t want to lead him on but that smile is honestly a weak spot for him and Bok-nam knows it. He pulls into the visitors parking lot and parks in a bay. 

 

“You can’t flirt with everyone when I’m with you - it’s suspicious,” Seokjin startles at the sound of Namjoon’s voice.

 

“Bok-nam? He’s young and still figuring himself out,” He retorts, “just giving him a little confidence boost is all.” It’s not like Seokjin actually ever planned to go out with Bok-nam after he found out his age. Not like he needs all of Seokjin’s baggage either. 

 

“You live here?” Namjoon changes the subject and Seokjin frowns. Doesn’t Mr-Know-It-All know where he lives? 

 

“Nope. Yoongi’s - the kittens are here for now,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

“Oh, I assumed y’all -“ he stops, “Nevermind, it’s none of my business.” Namjoon says and Seokjin doesn’t ask him to explain. 

 

They get out of the car and start unloading the bags to take to Yoongi’s apartment on the top floor of the building. 

 

It’s a silent ride in the elevator and they still need to grab the castle out of the boot, “Yoongs! Open up!” He kicks the door but there isn’t any movement. Both of their hands are full up to their elbows with packets. 

 

Seokjin releases a packet and frees up a hand to type in the code for the apartment and punch in his fingerprint. Yoongi just gave Seokjin, Hoseok and his older brother access because “I’m not getting up for you”. 

 

He looks back at Namjoon, “He’s probably not home,” he’s looking at Seokjin with a frown now but Seokjin gestures to him to come inside while he picks up the bag he dropped.

 

“YOONGI! I’M HOME!” Seokjin yells, and when he is met with silence- he looks at Namjoon and shrugs.

 

Namjoon and he respectfully slip off their shoes but stay bare in socks as Namjoon trails with Seokjin to the kitchen. 

 

“Where did he leave them?” Seokjin wonders outloud. 

 

“In the bathroom?” Namjoon suggests. 

 

“I knew I was marrying you for a reason,” he taps his temple and begins walking towards the bathroom. He glances back and catches Namjoon awkwardly hovering by the kitchen counter. Seokjin tilts his head, calling Namjoon. 

 

“Didn’t he take them to the vet?” 

 

“That was early this morning,” he should have been done by now, right? 

 

“Oh,” is all he receives. 

 

Yoongi’s apartment has two bathrooms but he only uses the one in his bedroom, so Seokjin pushes open the main bathroom door and- 

 

It stinks, for a lack of a better word. 

 

And there are towels all over the floor but no kittens in sight. 

 

“Maybe they’re still out?” Namjoon suggests.

 

“I don’t know, it’s very quiet,” and then Namjoon crouches and hisses to call the kittens, a soft ‘sksksksk’. 

 

There’s no movement for a moment and then, a scuffle in the bathtub. Seokjin looks at Namjoon as he rises from the crouch quietly. It’s unspoken but they slowly move toward the tub at the far end of the room, trying their hardest not to make a sound. 

 

They peek over the rim of the tub and Seokjin’s heart absolutely melts. The black kitten is tucked inside the white kitten's embrace. The white kitten is licking the black one’s head, eyes shut but so determined. The black one is snuggling as deep as it can into the other’s neck and Seokjin cups his mouth. He just wants to pick them up and take them home and he prays the worst upon whoever abandoned them. 

 

Namjoon bends down and puts his fingers close to their noses, the kittens pause to sniff and then Namjoon is slowly scrubbing a hand over their heads. They lean into it instinctively and Seokjin melts a little more. 

 

Look at them still trusting humans even after what they’ve been through.

 

Fuck me . 

 

 He wants to cry but before any waterworks start, Namjoon lifts them from the tub in both his hands and passes Seokjin the black kitten. He takes the baby carefully and before he can do anything, the black kitten crawls into the crook of his elbow and settles. 

 

Well, then. 

 

The white one is quite taken with Namjoon. It’s licking all along the side of Namjoon’s jaw and down his neck while he himself scrunches his face with a fond smile. 

 

How could they be so open to human contact? 

 

It’s okay though, they’re so adorable and Seokjin feels like he's bursting at the seams.

 

Seokjin pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of it with one hand. The other man’s eyes shoot open at the sound of the camera shutter and he frowns, “The kitten’s cute,” Seokjin mumbles. 

 

The front door of the house shuts and Namjoon suddenly looks at Seokjin.

 

“Bathroom!” He calls out and he can hear Yoongi dragging his feet to the bathroom. 

 

“Hey, Namjoon,” Yoongi looks surprised and pleased at seeing the other man standing in his bathroom being bathed by a cat. 

 

“Hi to you too, Yoongs,” Seokjin adds with sarcasm. 

 

“You break into my house and then you want me to give you a warm welcome,” Seokjin laughs and rolls his eyes. 

 

“We got stuff at the pet store- which by the way,” he looks into his arms, “- how did the vet go?” 

 

“I had to register them and they’re going in to be spayed next week,” He takes a breath and points at Seokjin, “Biggie,” then he points at the white kitten, “Diddy” he introduces. 

 

“They’re boys?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“Nope, they’re my princesses.” Yoongi answers and is met with a snicker from Namjoon. Yoongi beams at him. 

 

“How much shit did you get, anyway?” Yoongi begins walking to the kitchen and they follow with Biggie and Diddy cradled. 

 

“The cat castle is downstairs! We need to assemble it before we leave,” Seokjin remembers and he turns to Namjoon who’s rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

Seokjin explains and sets up the automated litter box in the bathroom and does what Jackson told them to have the kittens use it.

 

Namjoon waves his hand to the packets on the floor, “So, we got a bit carried away,” 

 

Yoongi laughs, “Only a bit?” 

 

“Both of you shut up! Look at Biggie and Diddy - they deserve it!” Seokjin shouts as Yoongi pulls a reindeer jumper out of one of the packets. Seokjin thinks it would look great on Diddy with the little antlers. 

 

“So y'all are those kinds of parents,” Yoongi mutters going through the rest of the bag. 

 

“Sorry, what?” Seokjin spins his head around and Namjoon coughs awkwardly. 

 

“These are amazing booties,” Yoongi completely sidesteps them and eventually tells them to get the cat castle from the car because he’s excited to see it. 

Namjoon basically sprints to the elevator and they eventually lug the huge box into the lounge area where they begin to pick at the box’s tape. 

 

“Namjoon, get me the scissors,” a pause, “or a knife, whatever,” Yoongi adds. Namjoon confidently wakes up and goes straight to the drawer where the scissors are, he didn’t even hesitate. Maybe he assumed that Yoongi kept his scissors in the cutlery drawer like the rest of the world. That isn’t weird. 

 

It is. But Seokjin chooses peace and decides not to ask about it. 

 

They manage to pry the box open and it’s a room full of mixed emotions. Seokjin thinks the hot pink is hilarious, Namjoon tries to look guilty but Seokjin can see him trying to hold back a laugh and Yoongi… well, he kind of looks floored; mouth hanging open and face lax. 

 

“Are you fucking joking?” Yoongi manages eventually and Seokjin needs to play this off. It was a mistake because they had chosen a black one, but this is so much better. 

 

“I thought they were your little princesses? Let them have a pretty castle, Yoongs!” Seokjin’s eyes are close to watering, he can’t even look at Namjoon or he might actually combust. 

 

Then, surprisingly, “It would add a,” Namjoon does jazz hands, “pop of colour,” he gestures to the black and beige room and Seokjin can hear his voice straining. Then, by chance, Seokjin is trying to pick the worst spot for it when he spots a bright yellow sweater hanging off the edge of the huge L-shaped couch. It’s the same one Hoseok wore to dinner on Friday. Maybe he stayed over? 

 

It’s strange that they wouldn’t tell him, but whatever. Hoseok did look like he was going to collapse before the night ended. 

 

Before he could think any further, a tiny mewl draws their attention to Namjoon’s feet where Diddy stood. She’s trying to claw at Namjoon’s socked toes when he picks her up, “Why don’t we let them decide?” Namjoon suggests. 

 

Yoongi shrugs and pulls out a bright board from the box and leaves it on the floor. Namjoon drops Diddy close to it, letting her decide if she wants to go near it or not. Yoongi’s eyes are watching her closely, probably willing her to vomit on it or something. She sniffs the board tentatively and mewls loudly, sniffs a little more before placing her pale paws on it to test if it was safe. 

 

Biggie crawls towards her slowly from behind where Seokjin was sitting on the floor. Biggie takes to it a lot faster than her sister. She comfortably scratches her tiny nails on the board when Namjoon asks, “Did you find out how old they are?” 

 

“The vet said they were around three months old,” Yoongi answers. 

 

“They’re very small though,” 

 

“She said that they weren’t getting enough nutrition so their fur isn’t healthy, but luckily they weren’t in dire condition or anything,” Namjoon nods at Yoongi’s words and Seokjin watches them. Namjoon talks to Yoongi and Hoseok more than he thought but there is an air of comfort that surrounds their conversation that Seokjin is trying to fathom. 

 

Namjoon’s phone starts ringing and Seokjin can’t see who’s calling, “Hey,” he answers and his eyes flit to Seokjin briefly before fluttering away. He wakes up from the floor and he walks to the kitchen before speaking in a hushed tone.

 

“So, are you going to the premiere on Friday?” Seokjin frowns, he’d forgotten about that. 

 

“It’d be a good opportunity to show your father that you’re serious about him,” Yoongi continues.

 

“What- I must take him?” Seokjin gapes. Yoongi shrugs, and leans forward to scratch Biggie behind her ear. She mewls at him when he stops and he taps her nose. 

 

Well, I mean they are about to get engaged, it wouldn’t be weird if Seokjin took Namjoon to a premiere. In all honesty, Seokjin was invited out of courtesy since his father owned the company that had produced the film. 

 

It would be the perfect opportunity to showcase their ‘relationship’. 

 

Namjoon comes back and pushes his phone in his jacket pocket before retaking his space on the floor, “Everything okay?” Yoongi asks and Seokjin looks at him to answer. Namjoon just looks up and nods with a small smile on his face. It doesn’t seem very genuine but that really isn’t Seokjin’s business. 

 

“Uh, Namjoon - we’re going to the premiere on Friday,” Seokjin tells him. Namjoon looks up at him and pulls his lips. He looks disgusted and Yoongi snorts. 

 

“Ask him, fool,” Yoongi says and it’s Seokjin’s turn to give a look .

 

“What? Namjoon, you’re coming-”

 

“No, I’m not,”

 

“Why not?” Seokjin’s blood pressure is rising and he can hear Yoongi smirking. 

 

“I’m not your damn dog, I don’t follow commands,” Namjoon says and he turns to Yoongi for help. Yoongi just smacks his lips and looks down. He’s hiding a smile for god knows what - this isn’t funny. 

 

“What the fuck are you laughing at?” 

 

“Look me in my eyeball and ask me why I’m laughing, Seokjin,” Yoongi looks at him and shakes his head.

 

“You’re laughing at me because he’s behaving like a brat?” Seokjin accuses with a pointed finger. 

 

“I’m the brat? You didn’t even ask!” Namjoon fires at him. 

 

Seokjin opens his mouth and closes it, sort of like a koi fish, when- 

 

“That’s your problem, Jin-hyung - you’re always assuming shit but you never bother to ask,” Namjoon says, but it’s strange. It’s not aggressive, just frustrated. Again, what the fuck does he have to be frustrated about? 

 

He fucking did this. And who the fuck is he fucking calling Jin-hyung? 

 

“Fine, Namjoon. Would you please go to the premiere with me on Friday?” Seokjin asks, but he knows it sounds insincere and sarcastic. 

 

Namjoon purses his lips, “I’m busy on Friday,” Seokjin baulks at him. 

 

“Are you serious?” he asks Namjoon and Yoongi has his lips pulled down in amusement. 

 

“No, but you could at least act like you want me to come,”

 

“Would you like fries with your fucking order?” Seokjin fires back. 

 

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Namjoon folds his arms like a petulant child.

 

Seokjin scoffs. He doesn’t fucking need this. 

 

“Are you seeing this?” He looks at Yoongi for some backup but all his friend does is pout and shrug. Seokjin is floored. 

 

“Namjoon,” he breathes, “please come to the premiere with me?” Seokjin feels like he’s going to burst out of his own skin. 

 

“Mmm,” Namjoon sounds out, “I’ll check my calendar,” He tells Seokjin -

 

“Namjoon-ah - have some pity, he’s struggling,” Yoongi laughs. 

Seokjin can’t help but nod, trying to reel in the puppy-eyes for effect but Namjoon holds his ground, until-

 

“Jesus, stop looking at me like that, it’s fucking creepy,” Namjoon’s stoic facade breaks and Seokjin plays nonchalant and stares harder.

 

“Like what?” 

 

“Christ- you know what, I’ll come with you,” Namjoon concedes with frustration. Seokjin grins at him and Namjoon shakes his head. 

 

“How? I would have kicked him out of my house if he pulled that,” Yoongi tells Namjoon. 

 

“No, you wouldn’t have!” Seokjin yells, affronted. 

 

“Maybe, but I definitely would have ignored your ass,” Seokjin cups his own face and flutters his lashes at Yoongi. 

 

“You can’t ignore me, I’m too pretty,” Yoongi snorts and rolls his eyes - Seokjin glares. 

 

“I am, and you know it!” Seokjin nags, however, Yoongi shrugs and his jaw drops. 

 

“Stop being an ass!” Seokjin leans over the box to whack his friend’s arm. 

 

“But you love this ass,” Yoongi sticks his tongue out at Seokjin, still backing away from his hands. Seokjin takes the opportunity to pinch one of Yoongi’s ass cheeks. 

 

He swats him dramatically, “This is nonconsensual! Police!” Yoongi whines and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“I do love that ass,” Seokjin winks at Yoongi and bites his bottom lip in the grossest way possible. Yoongi pulls his face to let Seokjin know just how disgusting he is. 

 

A cough startles Seokjin out of a laugh, and he brings himself back to reality. Namjoon is watching them with a curious head tilt and a tiny smile jutting the edges of his lips. He looks kind of mournful.

 

But Seokjin could just be imagining things. 

 

“Y’all want some orange juice?” Yoongi lifts himself off the floor and makes his way to the kitchen. It’s quite a strange question, considering Yoongi forgets to feed himself most days. 

 

“Why do you have orange juice?” Even across the elaborate room, Seokjin can see Yoongi’s frown. Not physically. 

 

Spiritually , he thinks. Can you have spiritual connections with your friends ?

 

“Why can’t I have fucking orange juice?” He shouts back at Seokjin, pulling a bottle from the fridge door. 

“Yeah, why can’t he have orange juice?” Namjoon tacks on, usefully , as ever. 

 

Seokjin dutifully ignores his faux-lover, “I’m not saying you can’t have it, I’m asking why you have it,” he huffs. 

 

“Hoseok said I needed more vitamin D or something,” Yoongi tells them, but as soon as the words leave his mouth, he realises his mistake. Seokjin’s head whips around to look at Namjoon. He finds the other man pulling in his lips into his mouth. He’s trying not to laugh out loud but Seokjin fucks all his efforts to hell because he lets out a snort and Namjoon breaks. 

 

“Shut the fuck up, you actual children,” Yoongi yells, “No orange juice for either of you!” He points at them. 

 

“I don’t think it was meant for us,” Namjoon says.

 

“Yeah, and don’t choke on all that vitamin -” Seokjin tries but is abruptly cut off, 

 

“OUT!” Yoongi screams at them and Seokjin laughs before standing up. 

 

“Well, if you do insist, Yoongs. Joon-ah and I have a date to plan anyway,” Namjoon looks up at him and sticks out his hand for a lift. Seokjin gives him his hand and he lifts his body off the ground. 

 

“The castle?” He asks as he straightens up. Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“He kicked us out,” Seokjin grins at Yoongi who’s walking towards them now, glowering.

 

Namjoon hugs Yoongi, but Yoongi surprisingly returns it with gumption. Seokjin tries to lean in for a kiss when Yoongi bats him away, “Just take him and go,” Seokjin is still giggling when they reach the car. 

 

Namjoon hesitates in front of the car before Seokjin stops him, “Get in, I’ll take you home,” he inclines his head before jumping into the car. Fucking dweeb . 

 

They’re driving and the wind is whipping into the car while the GPS guides Seokjin to his house. 

“So, uh” Namjoon begins. Seokjin glances at him briefly. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“What are you wearing on Friday?” Namjoon asks him. Seokjin frowns. 

 

“I don’t know, probably a suit? Why?” Seokjin counters. 

“Do you, uh-” Namjoon begins, “nevermind.” He cuts himself off. Seokjin looks at him again and asks, “What?” 

 

“It’s stupid,” the other man answers. 

 

“Well, you’re looking at the ambassador for stupid so you might as well,” Seokjin laughs, trying to pull whatever out of Namjoon. 

 

“You’re not stupid, Jin,” Namjoon’s voice is soft and Seokjin cringes. 

 

“Yeah, whatever. What were you thinking?” He shifts the focus. 

 

“Uh, well - do you want to coordinate outfits?” Namjoon clears his throat and Seokjin giggles. 

 

“You wanna match? We should get matching cowboy hats and bolo-ties,” Seokjin tells him and Namjoon purses his lips. 

 

“I told you it was stupid, shut up,” Namjoon folds his arms and looks out the window. 

 

“It’s not stupid at all, actually. I’m just -” Seokjin waves his hand in front of him, “We’d look extra couple-y if we coordinated, I don’t know? Ties, maybe?” Seokjin thinks it’s brilliant.

 

“I’m not wearing a bolo-tie!” Namjoon shouts. 

 

“No, please - actually, I think you’d look good in a cowboy getup,” Seokjin tells the other man thoughtfully. Namjoon sputters and Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“ What ?” 

 

He shrugs again, “I think your shoulder to hip ratio would look good in a cowboy outfit,” Namjoon eyes him. 

 

“I’m still not wearing a bolo-tie,”

 

“No one is asking you to wear a damn bolo-tie,” 

 

“So… you just wanted to compliment me?” It’s Seokjin’s turn to sputter over his reply. The question sounded so unsure but when he looks at Namjoon, he’s actually smirking with an eyebrow raised. 

 

“Get out of my car,” Seokjin presses the brakes hard, he’s literally in front of Namjoon’s apartment building but he wants the dramatics. 

 

Namjoon is snickering as he opens the door, “What was it about my shoulders?” 

 

Seokjin pushes him out, “I will run you over, Namjoon,” he tells him but he feels a smile tugging at his own lips. His ears are burning and he wants to dissolve because Namjoon’s eyes are so slight because his cheeks are grinning. 

 

“Aw, then who are you gonna get married to?”

 

“Go home, Namjoon,” Seokjin whines with a smile on his face. 

 

“Bye, Jin,” Namjoon says, “Uh- thanks for today,” he presses his lips together and nods. Seokjin nods back and frowns when Namjoon closes the door. He watches him walk through the swirly, iron gate and into the building and starts his car. 

 

He doesn’t particularly know how to feel, so he shakes the odd emotion away and turns up the radio.

Chapter 5: In Which There are Pigeons

Notes:

We have named Namjoons shadow Phik bc he has a 9-5 and a wife named Karen
He’s just misunderstood bro

The week passes by in a sludge. Seokjin could not be more grateful for the premiere tonight.

It means he has the day off and he can drink his way into the weekend.

 

It’s around nine in the morning, Seokjin is sitting on the dining room table. There’s a glass of peppermint schnapps in his hand as he flips the page of his novel. The letters aren’t even registering in his head, but god damn he just wants to switch off.

 

Work and then the production company has been all over the place, and he just wants to rest.

 

So, he’s trying not to let the fact that he is going to be spending his evening with Namjoon sway his mood. 

 

He doesn’t even know what he’s going to be wearing tonight, and to be honest, he couldn’t care less. 

 

Namjoon, however, bugged him the entire week at the office. Seokjin made it his mission to avoid planning with Namjoon. The man was too fucking neurotic. Every time he saw Namjoon in the office, he would slip away - praying to God that it was stealthy. 

 

His father hasn’t asked about their relationship since, but Seokjin pays attention to the way he watches them. He tries to be nonchalant but he’s made two different visits to Seokjin’s office for the first time this week. He even complimented the stupid squirrel figurine that Jimin gave him for Christmas one year. It sits near the window so it can watch the city buzzing below. 

 

Seokjin has just been running around like a headless chicken, trying to send the contracts back to his new acting job, trying to sit through countless meetings of Autumnal ideas and budget plans - all while trying not to scream at anything that stepped too close to him.

 

He closes the book, sighing and placing in the ‘hope’ bookmark that Hoseok had made for him a while ago. His mind was still buzzing with the week’s energy.

 

Namjoon looked like he was dying inside and just frustrated. They had barely spoken anything past an occasional greeting and a silent lunch on Thursday. Seokjin had just zoned out so much that Namjoon had given up trying to ask about tie colours. It’s not like they were obligated to talk, it was more for Seokjin’s father who had been eyeing them the entire week. 

 

He swallows the rest of the peppermint drink and walks to his bedroom. He walks over to his phone, just as it lights up with a notification. It's Namjoon. 

 

Seokjin just calls him instead of reading the text message, after a few moments, “Hey,” Namjoon’s voice is gravelly but soft. 

 

“Were you sleeping?” Seokjin asks, laughing to himself. 

“Shut up, it’s my day off,” 

 

“Mmm, this week was too much,” 

 

“Right? I’m just glad I don’t have to look at Cat’s face until Monday,” Seokjin blurts out a laugh at that. 

 

“What’s wrong with Cat?” he asks, curious. 

 

“Her advances are getting… tiring,” there’s a huff on the other side of the phone and Seokjin can picture him covering his eyes with his arm. 

 

“I mean, you could give in? It’s not like you’re getting any here,” Seokjin grins. Cat is a weird lady. 

 

“She is literally the devil, fuck no,” Namjoon says. 

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yeah, the other day, I saw her trying to convince Eric to repent but he literally woke up and threw glitter in her face and went to make coffee,” 

 

“Eric?”

 

“Works in accounting?” He tries, “he always wears heels and calls everyone ‘doll’,” Seokjin frowns and then understanding dawns on him.

 

“I think I made out with Eric at last year’s christmas party,” He says without thinking and immediately cringes. Namjoon doesn’t want to hear about that, shi-

 

He’s laughing. It sounds like stones tumbling down a hill, but he’s laughing… 

 

“What?” 

 

“You think?” Namjoon asks.

 

“Well, yeah?” 

 

“Jin, I had to drag your father out of the room because you and Eric were standing on the table and dancing before -”

 

“No, we weren’t!” His chest is heating up. Oh god, no no no .

 

“How much do you remember?” Namjoon sounds smug but he’s still laughing freely. 

 

“Why? I didn’t make out with you, did I?” 

 

“As if you could get with these shoulders,” Namjoon barks out a laugh and Seokjin is stunned. 

 

“You’re an -”

“I took you home,” Namjoon cuts him off. 

 

“What? No, you didn’t? I called Yoongi-ah to pick me up,” Seokjin is confused, how much did Namjoon remember?

 

“I drove you home,” he repeats. Seokjin pauses, he doesn’t actually remember how he got home that night. He does remember calling Yoongi to pick him up though.

 

“But I-”

 

“Yoongi called me and told me to take you home,” 

 

“Why? I could have ordered an Uber or something?”

 

“With the way you were drinking, I don’t think you even remembered you had a phone, Jin,”

 

“I wasn’t that bad,” Seokjin groans and lays flat on his bed and places his phone on his stomach.

 

“You stood on a barstool to announce you were Rihanna’s bitch,”

 

“Oh god, shut up-”

 

“Everyone was pretty much on the same level, so don’t overthink it,” Namjoon assures him. 

 

“You weren’t,” 

 

“Well, yeah - someone had to get you home,” Namjoon snickers and Seokjin’s stomach falls.

 

“You could have called me a cab,” Seokjin mutters as he rubs his hand over his chest.

 

“It wasn’t a problem,”

 

“It's not like you were obligated to -”

 

“Seokjin, god, it’s fine. I had a good night,” 

 

“Of course, you got to drive Rihanna’s bitch home,” he hears Namjoon laugh on the other side of the line and it eases him some. 

 

“Best part of the night to be honest,” Namjoon says with a sigh.

 

“Yes, because a completely hammered Jin in your backseat is obviously the best way to spend your evening,” 

 

“Don’t forget naked,”

 

“ Excuse me ?” Seokjin baulks and lifts his head from the pillow.

 

“Well, you were trying to take off your pants but you got distracted so it doesn’t really count,” Namjoon tells him with a small huff. 

 

“Why was I trying to take off my pants in your car?”

 

“I don’t know, Jin! You told the Mcdonald’s guy you were feeling hot,”

 

“We went to Mcdonald’s?” 

 

“Yeah, you said you wanted nuggets,”

 

“Oh,” Namjoon bought him nuggets while he was drunk. 

 

Because Jin asked. 

 

“So, let’s never talk about that again,” Namjoon laughs at his words. 

 

“What are you wearing tonight?” Namjoon tries and Seokjin groans. 

 

“Do we even have to go?” 

 

“We took the day off so we could attend…” 

 

“I’m tired,” 

 

“We could leave early?” Namjoon suggests and Seokjin sighs deeply, “drop in and out?”

 

“Come on, you could even use a code-word and I’ll know when you’re ready to leave,” 

 

“I think it’s too early for safewords, Namjoon,” Seokjin smiles at himself. He hears Namjoon cough on the other end of the line and it makes him grin. 

 

“Fine. No code-words. You can suffer,” Seokjin smiles to his ceiling. 

 

“Pigeon,” 

 

“What?” 

 

“The code-word,” Seokjin huffs, “pigeon.”

 

“Okay? ‘Pigeon’ it is then,” Namjoon says, “What are you wearing?” 

 

“God damn, Namjoon. At least buy me dinner first,” he really doesn’t want to discuss clothes and he hears Namjoon splutter.

 

It’s a strange phone call. Namjoon doesn’t fight with him and it’s actually… pleasant? 

Whatever , they thought it would be best for them to match Seokjin’s pink tie with a pink pocket square for Namjoon. Namjoon would be wearing a simple black 3-piece and Seokjin would be wearing a beige set.

 

 Seokjin finds himself napping peacefully for a few hours.

 

It’s the best sleep he’s gotten all week.

He wakes just before six and jumps into the shower. He pats on some concealer and lip tint to cover up the stresses of the week. He decides he doesn’t want to drive around with a tie and he’ll do it in the car. He dabs on some cologne, for no particular reason. It’s not like he’d be interacting with anyone besides Yoongi, and unfortunately - Namjoon. 

 

Hoseok wouldn’t be coming because he has super mysterious plans that no one has gotten out of him - yet . He would have been Yoongi or Seokjin’s plus one since the production didn’t actually involve him.

He’s picking Namjoon up because, “it makes sense, Jin”. He was too tired to argue. 

 

He arrives at Namjoon’s apartment twenty minutes after the agreed time. Namjoon is fiddling with his hair, which seems to have been slightly swept by the wind and Seokjin grins and opens his window, “If I say your name three times, will you make me marry you?” 

 

Namjoon purses his lips and walks around the car to jump inside, “You could have at least texted me and told me you were going to be late,” he still sounds distracted as he pulls down the mirror on the sun visor. He begins fiddling with his hair again. 

 

Seokjin releases the brakes and drives towards the venue, “And I didn’t even need to call your name once before you forced me to marry you,” Seokjin laughs at Namjoon’s outburst. 

 

“Okay, whatever you say, Beetlejuice,” Seokjin turns and winks at Namjoon and he just finds him glaring back. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Seokjin tries diplomatically… and because he’s a little curious as to what the fuck crawled up Namjoon’s ass. 

 

“Nothing,” 

 

“Mmmm,” Seokjin side-eyes him. 

 

“I said nothing, Seokjin,” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Okay…” he draws out, “I was joking, Namjoon ,” he hardens his voice and keeps his eyes forward. 

 

The silence becomes stuffy and Seokjin opens up his window and plays with the radio until it comes to life. 

 

He doesn’t know what’s coming from the speakers but he knew he shouldn’t have fucking come. Now, it’s going to be extra awkward. 

 

At least Yoongi would be there. 

 

“Sorry,” Namjoon speaks but Seokjin’s eyes remain steadfast on the road, “I’m not upset with you,” 

 

Seokjin nods once, reminding himself that anything Namjoon went through personally - isn’t his business.

 

Namjoon sighs, “My mom just had a lot to say about our new relationship,” Seokjin whips his head around. 

 

“You told her?” He asks, shocked. 

 

“Well, yeah… I can’t just announce the engagement and hope they’re okay with it,” Seokjin bites his lip because it’s looping around his head now. 

 

She used to give us popsicles when we fought . She told Jin that he was perfect the way he was. Namjoon’s mother always packed extra snacks for him and sent them with Namjoon.

 

Fuck, and she always had a pink fucking popsicle for me .

He’s making Namjoon lie to someone who literally stayed up at night to talk to him about what he thought his mum would be doing in heaven. 

 

Fuck me.

 

“And?” Namjoon just sighs in response. 

 

“Was she mad?” Seokjin asks, voice quiet besides the noise of the radio. 

 

“No,”

 

“Okay… so are you ready for tonight?” 

 

“It’s not my first premiere, Seokjin,” Seokjin rolls his eyes. 

 

“I know that ,” he breathes heavily, “I’m just checking if you still want to go.” Seokjin slows at a red light. 

 

“Yeah, yeah - I’m fine, thanks.” Namjoon flips the visor up and pulls out his phone, rapidly tapping away at his screen. 

 

Seokjin decides to extend a peace offering, “You can use the code-word if you want,” he doesn’t look at Namjoon but he hears a soft laugh. 

 

“How am I going to bring up ‘pigeon’ in casual conversation?” Seokjin smiles and shrugs. 

 

“If you really want to get out, you’ll make a plan,” 

 

“Can’t we change it?” 

 

“No.” Seokjin is grinning through the windshield.

 

“Please,” 

 

“Nope,” 

 

“Fine,” he folds his arms across his chest and then uncrosses them. 

 

“What should I call you?” Namjoon asks.

 

“Seokjin?” 

 

“God, I mean like, when we’re there? Like ‘baby’?” Seokjin laughs out loud. 

 

“I thought we agreed on ‘hyung’?” 

 

“Yeah, and I thought it’d be too pers- weird. Americans are different,” Namjoon covers up. Seokjin had a similar thought, ‘hyung’ just hits too close to home. 

 

“You calling me baby is weirder. I’m older than you,” Namjoon huffs. 

 

“I know,” he says, and Seokjin can feel the eye roll. 

 

“Let’s test it out and see what fits?” 

 

“Okay, b-baby?” Seokjin swivels his head to look at Namjoon. 

 

“Not now! At the premiere,” Seokjin looks back to the road and he can feel a small laugh bubbling out of him. His shoulders start shaking and he sees Namjoon covering his face next to him. 

 

They laugh silently until it dies down. 

 

“Namjoonie,” 

 

“Yeah?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“No, I’m just thinking… if you call me ‘hyung’,” 

 

“You’re not serious about calling me ‘Namjoonie’ in front of people, right?” 

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” 

 

“I’m not a fucking child, Seokjin,” Seokjin shrugs and holds back a smile. 

 

“Well, if ‘hyung’ is still on the table, it makes sense to call you something personal too,” 

 

“No one knows it’s personal though,” Namjoon adds. 

 

“That’s true, but it’s cute,” he sends a beaming smile in Namjoon’s direction and all he finds is a glare with no heat behind it.   

 

“Now I’m cute?” 

 

“Not you! The name, god -” 

 

“Yeah, but it’s my name,” 

 

“No, it’s just a name, Namjoon,” Seokjin doesn’t look at him but he knows the smug smile that’s probably planted on his face. 

 

“Oh, like my shoulders? It’s just shoulders-” Seokjin cuts him off with a groan and Namjoon laughs at him. 

 

“Yes, it’s very unfortunate that they happen to be yours,” Seokjin points to the left of the car, there’s a homeless man with a deep grey beard holding up a board that’s written in English.  

 

“His name could be Namjoon, you’re not special,” 

 

“So you think homeless men are cute?” Namjoon snickers. 

 

“Shut up, Namjoon. Just shut up,”

 

“I would, but I’m too cute,” 

 

“No one ever said that in the history of this world, Namjoon,” Seokjin’s neck is burning and he is considering opening the door and flinging his body into oncoming traffic. 

 

Namjoon just laughs quietly and pats down his pocket square. 

 

“Oh, shit - we’re like five minutes away from the venue, open the glove compartment and grab my tie for me?” 

 

Namjoon wrestles with the glove compartment before finally retrieving Seokjin’s pink tie. It’s a few shades off, compared to Namjoon’s pocket square but he’s sure it’d look fine with their suits.  

They arrive at the venue and it’s a mess of cameras flashing and voices. There’s a group of security waiting outside and the valet boy looks ready to explode. Seokjin talks to him in English and he can see the valet boy getting frustrated with his accent. 

 

Luckily, Namjoon steps in before Seokjin could get decked in the face, “Hi, he just wants to make sure that nothing happens to his car,” Namjoon’s accent is very American when he speaks English. Seokjin hears it all the time but it’s still strange to hear.  

 

He looks at Namjoon and sees him holding his tie in his hands unconsciously folding it as he waits for the valet ticket. 

 

Once Namjoon finishes up with the valet, Seokjin grabs his wrist and leads him to the bathroom outside of the venue. He grabs the tie and struggles with it in front of the mirror before Namjoon comes to stand behind him. He pauses and turns to face him, “What?” But Namjoon doesn’t answer, he just lifts his hands and props Seokjin’s collar up. 

 

“You really suck at wearing ties, you know that?” He tells him and Seokjin’s brain is stuttering because Namjoon is standing really close to him and he’s just allowing him to fix his collar. 

 

“They’re complicated for no reason,” he mutters softly. He is trying to look everywhere except Namjoon’s face. He is failing because he keeps landing on the furrowed brow and the tongue poking against his cheek as Namjoon concentrates on the twists and folds of the tie. Namjoon pats down his collar finally and spins him around to face the mirror. Namjoon is a few centimetres taller than him and Seokjin’s shoulders span over him in the mirror. He looks at his tie in the reflection, “Thanks,” he looks at Namjoon in the mirror. Namjoon nods and takes a step back and clears his throat. 

 

“Ready?” He turns to face his partner for the evening. Namjoon nods and runs a hand through his hair. It actually looks quite nice. He looks Namjoon over and decides he doesn’t look half-bad. 

 

He looks nice, and the three-piece suit tucks in on him in all the right places.

 

“What?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“Nothing, you have lint on your coat,” Seokjin says and immediately walks out of the bathroom. Nope, we are not in some nineties rom-com. Namjoon isn’t going to change and neither will Seokjin. 

 

They’re here to prove that Seokjin can settle down and still be taken seriously with his career. 

 

He pulls out his phone and calls Yoongi. It goes straight to voicemail but he doesn’t worry about it. He just texts him that they’re here as Namjoon steps out of the bathroom. 

They walk into the venue and pass through the guest list check-in as the bouncer recognizes Seokjin’s face. The man immediately lights up, “Jin! How are you?” Seokjin hasn’t a clue as to where he knows this man from but he entertains the conversation. It’s simple and Seokjin thinks that this man is kind of ethereal. His dark skin is glowing, and his grey eyes - even more so. He looks unreal. Even as his dreadlocks fall around his face in the perfect frame for his brilliant smile. Seokjin shamelessly winks as he speaks to him.

 

It's been a while .

 

Something strange happens in the midst of speaking to the stranger though. He feels Namjoon’s arm wrap around his lower back and then he is, for some strange reason, tucked into Namjoon’s side. Seokjin obliges and introduces Namjoon and the bouncer grins and allows them to go on their way.

 

“Jin,” Namjoon is still holding him as they’re walking to the foyer. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“How do you expect anyone to believe us when you literally flirt with everyone,” He whispers quietly as they walk towards the interviewers. 

 

“I do not flirt with everyone!” Seokjin whispers back harshly and he smiles sweetly at the flashing lights without faces. 

 

“Whatever, don’t blame me if this ends in flames because you couldn’t keep it in your pants,” Namjoon releases him to set his blazer.

 

What the fuck. 

 

Seokjin does not flirt with everyone. He was a friendly guy and Namjoon was just overreacting. 

 

This is why they aren’t friends anymore. Namjoon is afraid of Seokjin’s sexuality. Fucking dick .

 

Luckily, he won’t be bothered tonight since his involvement in this project was minimal. He just needed to show up for the company and quietly fade into the background chatter. 

 

He spots Yoongi in front of a camera and a mic shoved right into his face. He looks half asleep and Seokjin taps Namjoon on the shoulder and points. They both snicker, “You think we should go save him?” 

 

“Nah, he’s a big boy,” Seokjin answers just as Yoongi scrubs the back of his head with his hand. 

 

“What’s in there?” Namjoon asks, pointing to an arched entry-way. It was decorated with white flowers and vine leaves but a sheer curtain draped over the view enough that they couldn’t tell what was past it.

 

Seokjin nods and they both move towards the arch and it was a bit of a squeeze and he could smell Namjoon’s cologne. It smelled deep and chocolatey and kind of spicey. 

 

Seokjin walked a little closer to him, even if it wasn’t completely necessary and allowed his eyes to adjust to the dark open air. 

 

It was a garden, to put it plainly. But it did make Seokjin halt. 

 

It was beautiful. He should have known the marketing team would set up a secret garden-esque type of escape (the movie involved two estranged people who eventually fell in love), but not to this degree. 

 

It doesn’t even look real.

 

“It’s beautiful,” Namjoon says and Seokjin sucks in a breath because he forgot that he wasn’t alone. 

 

“It doesn’t look real,” Seokjin reaches out a hand to place on the patio railing. There’s a dome, surrounded by vines and flowers. It looks like a scene pulled straight out of a movie with the fairy lights strung strategically. It was the only light, and yet, the grass glistened brightly against the light it caught and there were small fountains with statues placed evenly throughout the space. 

 

Without a word, Seokjin began the small trek towards the dome, curious as to what it might be for. He doesn’t even know if Namjoon is following but the night air is thick with songs from the crickets and settling birds. 

 

He doesn’t understand how they managed to quiet the ambience in Boston , but he is grateful.

 

As he nears the dome, he can hear music playing. He’s trying to spot the source when, “in the corner, by the big blue flower,” Namjoon points past his shoulder. He tries to follow his line of sight but it’s a lost cause, he has to get closer. 

 

“I didn’t wear my contacts,” he explains. Namjoon feigns shock with a hand on his chest. 

 

“And you drove me? I could have died, Jin,” Seokjin rolls his eyes as he finally spots the little black box disguised by the greenery. 

 

“I need to get new ones and my glasses are ugly,” 

 

“Are they the same frames from school?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“No, but they’re similar. The rest of them look weird on my face,” Namjoon laughs softly as he pinches a leaf around the fencing of the dome. 

 

It’s strange, he feels enclosed but not scared. Like a safe little bubble. Or as safe one could be with a homophobe.

 

Seokjin smiles as Mariah Carey’s voice fills the air. 

 

“Always be my baby?” 

 

“Shut it - it’s a classic,” Seokjin scolds. 

 

“No, it’s a good song,” he shrugs and turns away. 

 

Seokjin looks past him, outside the little bubble and sees a figure approaching. By the looks of it, they’re wearing a really sparkly red floor-length dress. 

 

Namjoon spins around and steps closer, “It’s fucking Cat,” Seokjin leans over to try and identify the approaching figure. It doesn’t help that he can’t see a foot in front of his face. 

 

“Why is she here?” he gives up trying to find facial features on the sparkling ornament that keeps stalking closer to the dome.  

 

“She’s in marketing, she probably helped arrange-”

 

“Namjoon!” Her voice is pretty distant but Namjoon squeezes his eyes all the same. 

 

“Dance!” Seokjin throws his arms around Namjoon’s neck and closes the gap between their bodies. 

 

“I don’t know-” Namjoon counters but he still wraps his arms around his waist. God, this is so fucking awkward. 

 

“What now? We’re just hugging, Jin,”  And Seokjin pauses and realises that he actually does not know what to do right now. 

 

“I-” Seokjin is cut off as soon as Namjoon begins swaying in time with the song. 

 

Seokjin follows the movement and slowly releases the tension from his body. He allows Namjoon to guide him. 

 

“ You'll always be apart of me

I'm part of you indefinitely ” Namjoon sings quietly and Seokjin drops his head forward to laugh against Namjoon’s shoulder. 

 

“What?” 

 

“We’re slow dancing to Mariah Carey because you don’t want to talk to a girl,” Seokjin murmurs with a grin on his face. 

 

“Don’t act like you didn’t have her posters in your room,” 

 

“Listen, her range is unbelievable,” Seokjin argues and they’re so close and he can feel Namjoon’s body heat melding with his own. 

 

“Your shower concerts are a good contender,” Seokjin laughs out loud and looks Namjoon in the eye. They’re quite literally sparkling. 

 

The song slowly fades into something more jazzy, and Seokjin thinks that whoever had organised the playlist, might have been going through something . 

 

“Was that a compliment , Namjoon?” Seokjin adds with dramatic-effect. 

 

“No, I don’t think you could compete with my shoulder to hip ratio,” Seokjin ducks his head and huffs.

 

  Is Cat fucking gone ? 

 

Seokjin turns to the entrance of the dome and finds the curious red-ornamented lady standing close to the entrance and watching them. 

 

But she isn’t alone. 

 

There’s a familiar figure standing next to her, slightly towering over her. 

 

Yoongi smiles at him like he knows all of Seokjin’s dirty secrets. 

 

“She still watching?” Namjoon’s voice is right against his neck and so is his warm breath. Seokjin shivers and thinks, I need to go out more .

 

However, he does need to deliver a believable show despite Yoongi standing right there, so Seokjin musters up his courage and turns his head inwards to face Namjoon. It looks very intimate and he can’t imagine what is going through Yoongi’s head right now. 

 

Maybe he could access that spiritual bond and beg for help. 

 

Instead, Seokjin whispers, “yes,” and nods slightly - and before him, he sees Namjoon’s wide eyes.

 

“Why are we whispering?” 

 

“Because she’s going to be too awkward to interrupt an intimate moment,” Seokjin whispers. 

 

“Don’t underestimate her,” 

 

“Why not let her? I mean, she’s pretty-” 

 

“I have these things, you know?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Standards,” Seokjin laughs softly but keeps his neck stiff to keep the distance. It takes a lot of concentration since they’re still moving slowly, every second beat guiding them. 

“You smell like a candy-cane,” Namjoon says and Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Well, you smell like a chocolate bar,” Namjoon’s laugh curls his eyes up into crescents. 

 

“It wasn’t an insult,” Seokjin swallows.

 

“I think I saw a pigeon,” 

 

“Tired?” 

 

“Hungry,” Namjoon smiles and Seokjin really feels the urge to poke a dimple. Luckily, before Seokjin could make any rash decisions, Namjoon pulls himself out of the bubble. 

 

Seokjin feels ambushed as he takes in the intensity of the light and flowers around them. 

 

Even more so as soon as he spots Yoongi leaning against the entrance of the iron dome. He’s casually standing with his arms folded and watching them with a small smile on his face.

 

“Y’all done?” Yoongi pulls out his phone and checks something.

 

“Well, we were trying to get rid of-” Seokjin waves his hand in the air, gesturing behind his friend.

 

“She left as soon as I came, something about the drapery,” Yoongi sticks his tongue against the corner of his mouth. 

 

He’s trying not to laugh. 

 

Fucking bastard . 

 

Namjoon clears his throat, “We’re leaving soon,” and Seokjin nods. 

 

“We- You came together?” Yoongi’s left brow lifts. 

 

“The econom-”

 

“Environment,” Namjoon corrects Seokjin. 

 

“I’m tired,” Seokjin looks up at Namjoon and then quickly extracts himself from his side. The show wasn’t necessary for Yoongi. 

 

“I’m sure,” Yoongi does the tongue thing again and Seokjin wants to smack his stupid face. 

 

“Alright! Goodbye, Yoongi,” Seokjin shoves his head as he walks past him. He hears Namjoon greet him properly but Seokjin is already at the corner diner they passed on the way here. 

 

Namjoon joins his pace and Seokjin smiles politely. He doesn’t dare make eye-contact, lest anyone try to stop him for a conversation. Apparently Namjoon understands the mission because they make it to the valet and are now waiting for the car in silence. 

 

“Where are you going?” 

 

“Uh, you wanna try the diner we drove past?” Seokjin doesn’t know why he’s being so friendly. 

 

Maybe because Namjoon gave you an out. 

 

“You want me to come?” 

 

“Well, if you’re not hungry…” 

 

“No, I mean yes - but, I just thou-” the engine of Seokjin’s car draws to a dull purr in front of them. 

 

Seokjin offers his thanks to the man and Namjoon jumps in at the same time. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t have the energy to switch on the radio to fill in the silence. He doesn’t even notice if it’s uncomfortable or not. 

 

Fortunately for his stomach, the diner is five minutes away from the venue. The glowing lights shine over the damp street, magnified by the windows with doily-frosting on the edges. 

 

Jessie’s .

 

Seokjin parks his car and he and Namjoon walk into the warmth of the diner. It almost seems stuffy with the old blues music swarming in around them and the yellow-tinged lights. 

 

A tall woman with dyed-black hair approaches them and addresses Namjoon, “Hey there,” she smiles and Seokjin can see her wisdom teeth. 

 

“Hi,” Namjoon starts politely, “Table for two?” She winks at him and turns away to lead them to a small corner booth. The diner is empty, save for the occasional lone drinker and a teenage couple sharing a strawberry milkshake. 

 

Seokjin points the couple out, “You wanna try that?” 

 

“I can pay if you want to share a damn milkshake,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Well, if you insist, Namjoon,” he shrugs his shoulders as he slides onto the red faux-leather seat. Namjoon sits opposite him and the waitress leaves two laminated menus in front of them.

 

 Seokjin points out the “Bacon and Cheese Lovers” to Namjoon. It’s a buy-one-get-one-free deal and Namjoon easily agrees. They signal their waitress, whose name is Tessa, back to order their burger special and drinks. 

 

Once she leaves, silence falls over the table like a blanket. 

 

Seokjin fiddles with the salt shaker and Namjoon pulls out his phone. He checks it and places it face-down on the table. 

 

“Uh, thanks,” Seokjin starts, he doesn’t know why he feels awkward, they were practically looking at each other’s tonsils thirty minutes ago. 

 

“What?” Namjoon frowns, and Seokjin huffs in annoyance. 

“I said thanks. For leaving with me,” he frowns. What the fuck is he even thanking Namjoon for? 

 

“Oh, I didn’t think it’d be so quick but it’s cool,” 

 

“We didn’t even need to be there,” 

 

“So why did we go?” 

 

“Courtesy? I don’t know, but now I’m in a whole monkey-suit,” Seokjin grimaces. 

 

“The monkey suit looks nice,” 

 

“I would have preferred pyjamas but…” Seokjin sighs. Namjoon’s phone buzzes on the table and Seokjin asks, “Did you speak to your mom?” 

 

Namjoon looks at him for a good ten seconds, as if he’s sizing Seokjin up, and then, “No,” 

 

“Why was she mad?” Is that too invasive? “You don’t have to answer, if you’re not - like comfortable,” he tacks on and coughs into his hand. 

 

“She wasn’t mad,” Namjoon scoffs, “Actually over the moon,” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“I thought you fought?” Namjoon pulls his lips in. 

 

“Well, yes. Mostly me, it’s fine,” Namjoon shakes his head. Seokjin is curious but he feels like Namjoon wouldn’t appreciate his prying. 

 

The food arrives, and Seokjin devours his burger. He didn’t eat today save for the schnapps. They eat in silence and Namjoon is the last to finish. They’re chewing on the last of their fries before Seokjin decides to talk. 

 

He wants to ask but… He doesn’t give a fuck, because he owes Namjoon nothing, “Did you have a girlfriend?” He tries but his voice sounds so small. 

 

Tessa rounds in on them again and Seokjin mentally thanks her because it was stupid. She winks at him and Seokjin frowns. She clears their table and is on her way to place their milkshake orders. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head with a sad smile, “I don’t even have time to water my plants these days, how the hell am I going to keep a relationship?” he laughs something bitter.

 

“Well, we’re kind of doing it now?” 

 

“Yeah, but it’s not like it’s real,” Seokjin halts in trying to clean his fingers with a serviette. Namjoon is right though, it just feels strange to hear out loud.

 

And not the good kind of strange.

 

“What would make it different if it were?” Namjoon looks up at him and shrugs. Just then, Tessa drops their milkshakes off. Seokjin sticks a straw in and takes a sip. He hums contentedly. 

“Good?” Seokjin nods and watches Namjoon taste his. 

 

“Chocolate always sucks,” Seokjin comments. 

 

“Strawberry is literally sugar in more sugar,” 

 

“Only bitter people say that,” Seokjin bites down on his straw as he smiles smugly at him. 

 

“Fine, taste it - maybe your taste buds developed some sense,” Namjoon slides his glass across to Seokjin. 

 

For the dramatics, Seokjin pinches his nose and sniffs the cup. 

 

“Are you five?” Seokjin silences him with a finger in the air and pulls on the straw. 

 

Namjoon’s straw. 

 

Is he going to turn homophobic? 

 

Like Spider-Man? 

 

Homophobic-Man? 

 

Oh god, is he going to be gay and homophobic? 

 

The g-

 

“Jin?” Namjoon’s voice tears him from his thoughts. 

 

“Yeah, sorry - I blacked out because it was so bad,” Seokjin jokes and Namjoon pulls his face and his glass back to his side of the table. 

 

“Fine, if yours is so good, lemme taste,” he reaches forward to grab Seokjin’s milkshake but he swipes it before he could touch it. 

 

“I don’t know if you deserve this,” Seokjin grins and takes a sip. 

 

“Jin, give me the milkshake,” Namjoon leans over the narrow table to reach high above Seokjin’s head - where he was now holding the milkshake. 

 

“No! It’s clearly sugar in more sugar,” Seokjin leans as far back as he can. Namjoon literally has a knee on the table and is convinced that he can get the milkshake. 

 

“God, just give him the fucking milkshake,” They both turn at the sound of a girl’s voice. It’s one of the teenagers he saw earlier. Her boyfriend is laughing, his whole body turned towards them.

 

Seokjin can feel his ears burning and he looks at Namjoon who is practically in his face, breathing the same goddamn air and suddenly Namjoon hops back onto his seat. He is avoiding looking at Seokjin and Seokjin pulls in his lips. 

 

“Here,” he slides his glass over and he surprised he can even move because he feels so fucking awkward. 

 

Namjoon purses his lips and takes a sip. He immediately makes a face and Seokjin grabs his milkshake. The weird tension shatters.

 

“Shut up! I’ve seen you eat butter like ice-cream,” 

 

“I didn’t say anything about your diabetes,” Seokjin laughs and flips him off. 

 

“Like I said, bitter,” Seokjin remarks. They spend the next few minutes sipping in silence. Seokjin can feel the food weighing in his stomach and he yawns. 

 

He doesn’t like the silence too much, so he decides to fill it in with small talk. 

 

“You got plans for this weekend?” Namjoon looks at him, he looks like he had been deep in thought and trying to run by what Seokjin just asked. 

 

“Uh, no. I was planning on vegging out on my couch and watching Christmas movies,” Namjoon tells him, “Might go visit my mom next weekend though,” Seokjin nods. 

 

“Wait - Christmas movies?” 

 

“Best genre- it has everything I need,” Namjoon tells him.

 

“You?” Namjoon returns the question. 

 

“Nothing much, just sleeping and trying to read this stupid book Yoongi gave me,” Seokjin swirls the half-full glass with his straw. 

 

Namjoon covers the bill this time and Seokjin drives Namjoon to his house. 

 

“Thanks, I -uh, had a good night,” Seokjin laughs at him. 

 

“We were out for,” he checks his watch, “three hours.” Namjoon just shrugs. He waves as he turns to his building. Seokjin waits until he enters the door and then he is off. 

 

The radio croons an old tune and it hits him in the stomach. 

 

Namjoon didn’t fight with him today. 

 

They didn’t argue and Seokjin had a decent night. 

 

With Namjoon. 

 

He shakes his head and turns up the radio to drown out any thoughts he might have.

Chapter 6: In Which Seokjin Can Handle Himself

Notes:

Sorry i had to edit bc i uploaded them wrong lmao extra chapter for ur troubles

The weekend finds Seokjin sitting on his cellphone while the TV chatters in the background. He’s scrolling through his contacts list to find someone who wants to do something. 

 

Yoongi and Hoseok are meeting up later to discuss something that Seokjin didn’t listen to, and even though the invitation had been extended, Seokjin really doesn’t feel like doing that. 

 

Taehyung and Jimin have not replied to his texts, he wasn’t counting on Jeongguk to reply. He shivers, the last time he’d barged in on “Sexy Saturdays” - and god . The pizza he had been holding could not have hit the ground faster.

 

He needs to bleach his eyeballs. His third eye.

 

He could ask someone from the production, but he hasn’t really had the chance to mingle with them. 

 

He feels lonely. But he doesn’t want to put on a smile, he just wants to eat and not speak English.

 

He scrolls all the way up on his texts and finds Namjoon’s name. He huffs. 

 

He’s not that desperate for company.

 

But Namjoon’s plans sounded pretty much the same. 

 

But he is homophobic. Or was, whatever. At Least he won’t try to kill him. 

 

Namjoon tied his tie for him yesterday. 

 

But Namjoon has a million and one houseplants. 

 

Seokjin decides to throw caution to the wind and send Namjoon a text. 

 

The response is immediate and Seokjin laughs. 

 

From Namjoonie at 16:54: hey? 

 

To Namjoonie at 16:55: wat u doin

 

From Namjoonie at 16:55: Looking for places to order food, you?

 

To Namjoonie at 16:55: wat r u thinking?

 

From Namjoonie at 16:56: Pizza but idk 

 

To Namjoonie at 16:56: good idea - gimme a slice :(

 

From Namjoonie at 16:56: You want to come over? 

 

To Namjoonie at 16:57: omg thats for the 3rd date :o

 

From Namjoonie at 16:57: Fine then go to bed. 

From Namjoonie at 16:57: And starve

 

Seokjin breathes in deeply, does he really want to spend the evening with Namjoon? 

 

He looks around his lounge and decides it’s slightly better.

 

Only slightly .

 

From Namjoonie at 16:59: ?

 

To Namjoonie at 16:59: u mind? 

 

From Namjoonie at 17:00: Meat lovers no garlic, right? 

 

Seokjin frowns, how the fuck does Namjoon remember his fucking pizza order? 

 

To Namjoonie at 17:01: yip

To Namjoonie at 17:01: Im lazy come get me

 

From Namjoonie at 17:04: Pizza is on its way so it’s either you starve or you get here

From Namjoonie at 17:05: I may also be inebriated 

 

To Namjoonie at 17:05: need anything? 

 

From Namjoonie at 17:05: citro soda

 

To Namjoonie at 17:06: ????

To Namjoonie at 17:06: leaving 

 

Seokjin grabs a bottle of citro soda powder and gin from the kitchen before grabbing his keys. He pauses at the foot of the door, and sniffs himself. 

 

He had a shower an hour ago, but he is in pyjamas…

 

Wait wait wait

 

He is not going over there to impress Namjoon. 

 

He is going there to eat pizza and watch TV.

 

He walks to the bathroom to quickly dab on some cologne and deodorant and before he can over think himself into a pit, he locks up and runs down to his car. 

 

The drive to Namjoon’s place is quiet and Seokjin thinks. 

 

And thinks. 

 

He almost swings the car around and goes back home but he doesn’t. 

 

Seokjin is once again standing outside of Namjoon’s apartment, bottle of gin in hand and citro soda in the other, feeling completely out of sorts. 

 

God, what the fuck is he doing communing with the enemy? 

 

He brought drinks too. He’s a fucking idiot, he should just fucking go home and try to read. But he barely craves company with all the movement and buzzing from the week so, he supposes there must be a reason he needs to be near a person today. 

 

It doesn’t fucking ma-

 

“Do I have to teach you how to knock?” Namjoon opens the door. He looks rosy and his skin is darker under the lights. “You’re wearing your glasses,” is Seokjin’s reply. 

 

“You are too?” He lifts his hand in a subconscious gesture to touch the side of his frames. Seokjin can barely see past him but he can hear music playing from the lounge. He suddenly sticks out his hands and presents Namjoon’s with his offerings. 

 

“Pizza here yet?” Namjoon steps back on the door so Seokjin could enter and then locks it once he sets the bottles on the kitchen counter. 

 

“Sorry?” Namjoon dusts his hands on his pants and Seokjin repeats himself. 

 

“No, it’ll be here in,” he checks a watchless wrist, “five minutes,” and grins at Seokjin.

 

Seokjin doesn’t know what he’s doing standing at the kitchen counter, trying to seem casual. He does try though, “Thanks,” Seokjin says. 

 

Namjoon nods in the direction of the gin. 

 

“Blood orange gin,” Namjoon frowns and walks over to pick up and examine the bottle. Seokjin feels something cold against his arm and turns to face the counter. 

 

He picks up the half-full beer bottle, “I see you already started,” Namjoon looks over and smiles. 

 

“What do we pair this with?” 

 

“You got tonic water?” 

 

“Why wou-” Namjoon pauses, “come with me,” but Namjoon literally paces two steps to a cupboard under the sink. He pulls out two litres of tonic water and Seokjin lifts a brow. 

 

“Jackson brought it last time he came over,” he shrugs. Seokjin frowns… 

 

“You and Jackson are close?” Namjoon huffs a laugh and shakes his head as he puts the bottles in the fridge and grabs another beer and hands it to Seokjin.  

 

It’s none of my business .

 

“Wanna pick a movie?” Just as Namjoon asks, there’s a knock on the door. They both turn to the noise. Namjoon immediately walks to the door and opens it to a man in red, who Seokjin assumes is the pizza man. 

 

Namjoon pays the man and closes the door with two pizza boxes balancing on his forearm. Seokjin steps forward to pull them from his hands and asks him where they would be eating. 

 

Namjoon leads them to the lounge where the TV is bright, lighting the room up with options.

 

Seokjin places the boxes in between them on the three seater couch and sits down awkwardly. Namjoon plops himself down after running to the kitchen for their beers. He hands Seokjin his beer and with three gulps, he is left with a sip in his bottle. 

 

“What you wanna watch?” Seokjin shrugs at the question. 

 

“I will put Indiana Jones on,” Namjoon threatens. 

 

“You say it like a bad thing,” he pulls the box off the top and opens it to reveal a meat lover's pizza, steaming in all its glory. He looks up to find Namjoon looking at him oddly before he turns to the TV and plays Last Crusade. 

 

“What happened to Christmas movies?” Namjoon just shrugs.

 

Before Seokjin could think, “He looks so hot in this one,” leaves his mouth and the piece of pizza pauses on its journey to his mouth. He looks at Namjoon and he’s watching the TV so intently that Seokjin doesn’t think he notices. 

 

Then, “Mmmm, it’s the professor-get-up,” Seokjin stops chewing. 

 

“Nah, it’s definitely the cowboy outfit,” Seokjin replies, unsure of how to take this turn of events. 

 

“I’m starting to think that you just have a cowboy kink,” and he chokes . He starts coughing violently until Namjoon begins hitting his back and he just calms himself. 

 

Clearing his throat, “I’m okay,” he nods and Namjoon begins giggling. 

 

“Fuck you - I don’t have a -” 

 

“It’s okay, I think I have a Stetson somewhere. You can h-”

 

“I am literally never speaking to you again,” Seokjin tells him and stuffs the crust in his mouth. His ears are on fire and he wishes he could book it out of the apartment. 

 

“Ahhh, how’re you gonna say ‘I do’?” Seokjin smiles and shakes his head. 

 

After a while and a little more than halfway through the movie, 

 

“I’m gonna pour the gin, you want some?” He stands from his seat and Namjoon looks up at him before nodding and getting up to follow Seokjin to the kitchen. Namjoon pulls the tonic water from the fridge while Seokjin pops the cork on the gin. 

 

He lifts the bottle to Namjoon’s face, “Smells nice,” and Namjoon sniffs it before pulling a face. 

 

“Shhh,” Seokjin pulls the bottle away, and pulls two glasses from the side of the sink. 

 

He pours a shot of gin in each glass before gesturing to Namjoon to pass the tonic water. 

 

“This feels like high school,” and Seokjin laughs at the comment. 

 

“We attained this legally, Namjoon,” he pours the fizzy drink and watches the bright orange mellow out in the tonic water. 

 

“Do you remember that weird bourbon we stole from your dad?” Namjoon shivers beside him. 

 

“Actually, I don’t remember anything at all,” Seokjin purses his lips and turns his body to look at Namjoon. 

 

“You threw up on my favourite plushie,” Namjoon sticks out his bottom lip like a petulant child. 

 

“I know, ‘cause you whined for three weeks after that,” 

 

“That worm was a treasure!”

 

“I got it for two dollars and it was already falling apart!” Seokjin counters and he’s smiling at Namjoon. 

 

“It stank until my mom soaked it,” Namjoon laughs and sips his drink. He lifts his eyebrows in surprise, “It’s good.” Seokjin wiggles his shoulders and picks up his glass to go to the lounge. Namjoon follows, not before picking up the gin and the tonic water. 

 

He sets it on the coffee table in front of them. 

 

“That bourbon was disgusting, I don’t know how you didn’t throw up,” 

 

“I did, in the toilet. Where normal people vomit,” Namjoon looks at him and sets his pizza down. 

 

Seokjin sighs, “Oh, to be fourteen,” and Namjoon huffs a small laugh. 

 

“Fourteen was horrible, I was ugly,” Namjoon giggles at himself. Seokjin can feel the tiny buzz of the alcohol greet him. 

 

“Oh, and you’re not now?” Namjoon turns to face him, and Seokjin pulls his mouth inwards. His phone starts buzzing in his pocket and he pulls it out to see Jimin’s name flashing on the screen. 

 

“Hey, what’s up?” Seokjin answers. 

 

“Jin-hyung! You know who I just got off the phone with?” Seokjin frowns and sees Namjoon’s hands reaching for his feet, which is now between them on the couch. 

 

Seokjin pushes his hands away, “No?” 

 

“MY MOTHER, HYUNG! HOW DARE YOU HAVE A SEXY BOYFRIEND AND NOT TELL US?” Jimin shouts into his ear and Seokjin is busy trying to push Namjoon’s stupid, drunk hands away from his feet. 

 

“Your feet are still ticklish, right?” He grins and his eyes are swallowed up by his cheeks. “Who’s ugly?” 

 

“You are, Namjoon! Stop,” he tries to pull his feet away because Namjoon is handsy when he’s drunk, apparently.

 

“Oh my god! Are you with him right now? Let me speak to him!” Jimin briefly reminds Seokjin that he’s on the phone. 

 

“No, Jimin, it’s not like that - wait - Namjoon, leave my fucking feet alone,” Seokjin starts laughing and presses the loud speaker with his ear by mistake, trying to wiggle away into the couch.

 

“Hyung! Are you having ‘Sexy Saturdays’ too?! I didn’t know you were into feet-play! I still think it’s weird when Taehyungie wants to play with my-” Namjoon has given up trying to collapse on the sofa, shoulders shaking with laughter.

 

“JIMIN-SSI! If you finish that sentence, I swear I will personally come and chop your toes off,” Jimin whines while Namjoon continues to laugh. 

 

“Hyung! I heard you’re not single anymorrrrre” He hears shuffling on Jimin’s line and Tae’s voice through the speaker. 

 

“Everyone shut up, I will call you tomorrow,” Seokjin hangs up the phone before he could hear a reply and Namjoon is low on the couch, looking up at him. 

 

“Is this considered a ‘sexy saturday’? ‘Cause, I’m gonna be honest here, I’m not feeling very sexy,” Namjoon giggles and lifts himself from the couch to sit upright. 

 

“Oh? And that’s my fault?” Namjoon nods. 

 

“How?” Namjoon shrugs.

 

“You could be more seductive, I don’t know? My husband would at least try,” Namjoon snickers and Seokjin laughs at that. 

 

“Unfortunately, you’re stuck with me for now,” Namjoon looks at him with a small smile. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head and downs the rest of his drink, “Pour me another one,” 

 

“Yes, sir!” Namjoon swings his hand forward with the rest of his body following sloppily.

 

“Namjoon, how much did you drink before I got here?” Seokjin laughs softly.

 

“Are you calling me an alcoholic?” Namjoon whips his head around to face him. His face is really close and Seokjin backs up a little. 

 

“So, that much?” 

 

“No, maybe - I don’t know, it was just beer though,” Namjoon tries to pour the tonic water carefully. It makes a straight line for the coffee table and Seokjin grabs it out of his hands. 

 

“Namjoon-ah! Go get the sink-cloth,” Seokjin scolds him. Namjoon grins at him and wakes up to go to the kitchen. When he comes back Seokjin has poured the drinks and dutifully wipes down the table.  

 

Namjoon picks up his drink and flops backwards onto the couch, “I didn’t know gin could taste nice,” he hums as he sips the fizzy drink. “It’s like bubbles in my tummy,” Seokjin laughs at him. 

 

“Please don’t throw up,” 

 

“I have to get revenge for my worm,” 

 

“I didn’t bring any plushies, so save it for next time,” Namjoon snorts. 

 

Seokjin leans forward and taps his glasses, “Lemme see,” and Namjoon slips it off his face and hands them over. Seokjin takes off his glasses and gives them to Namjoon. 

 

He puts Namjoon’s glasses on, “God, you’re blind, Hyung,” Seokjin pauses. He decides that they’re both a little tipsy, so he lets the ‘hyung’ pass. 

 

“You wanna talk, how the fuck do you live?” Namjoon smiles and his eyes look slightly bigger behind his frames. 

 

“You look like a bug,” 

 

“A cute bug,” Namjoon retorts. 

 

“No, like a cockroach,” 

 

“You’re so mean to me,” Namjoon sulks and Seokjin feels bad. Only a little. 

 

As the gin would have it, he leans a little more into Namjoon’s space, “Fine, not a cockroach, like a bee,” he bops Namjoon on the nose with his finger. 

 

“You know honeybees are an important part of the environment? We wouldn’t be alive without them,” Seokjin smiles at Namjoon. They return their glasses to one another.

 

“They have cute fuzzy butts,” Seokjin says as he puts his head on Namjoon’s shoulder. He doesn’t know when the physical barrier was breached but Namjoon doesn’t shrug him off, so he stays put. 

 

“You think I have a fuzzy butt?” 

 

“What? No!” He lifts his head only to put it back down. He feels tired.

 

“So… a cute butt then?” his head shakes a little with Namjoon’s soft laugh. 

 

“Forget it. You are a cockroach,” Namjoon’s shoulders shake harder but the sound is absent. 

“No, I wanna be a bee. You can be a flower, cause you’re pretty,” he puts his head on Seokjin’s and breathes deeply. 

 

“You have to change my name on your phone to ‘flower’ now,” Seokjin smiles to the TV, which he realises is still playing Harrison Ford. 

 

Namjoon pulls his phone out of nowhere, and they’re both looking down at his screen as he unlocks it. He goes to the contact list and scrolls until he finds “Hyung” and clicks on it. 

 

“You saved me under ‘hyung’?” Seokjin asks and he suddenly feels queasy. He feels Namjoon tense under him. 

 

“Out of respect,” he says quickly. 

 

“I’m a little tipsy, so it’s okay,” Namjoon shakes a bit and immediately relaxes. Seokjin eases some.

 

“Only ‘cause you’re tipsy?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“Mhm,” Seokjin nods slightly, so as not to move the weight too much. 

 

“What did you save me as?” He asks and Seokjin sighs and grabs his phone, he immediately rests on Namjoon once he retrieves it. 

 

He goes to his texts and shows Namjoon the screen. 

 

“Namjoonie?” Seokjin shrugs.

 

“It made sense with the pet name thing we discussed,” Namjoon hums and grabs Seokjin’s phone. 

 

“Excuse me!” Seokjin cries. 

 

“You’re excused,” Namjoon smiles with all the smugness in this world. 

 

“Fine, let me edit my name,” Seokjin leans to grab Namjoon’s phone but Namjoon is an asshole. He holds it way out of reach, “Namjoon, give me the damn phone,” 

 

“Am I ugly?” 

 

“You’re a dick,” 

 

“Mmmm, sorry? What was that?” 

 

“I said,” Seokjin lifts himself on his knees to reach higher and he almost has it, “you-” Namjoon hides his phone behind his back, 

 

“-are,” he stuffs his hand behind Namjoon,

 

 “a,” Namjoon is grinning widely and it’s so close to Seokjin’s neck that he can feel his breath on his shoulder. 

He pulls back slightly to put some space between them and it is a huge mistake. Namjoon’s face is too close for his liking, and Seokjin can see his beauty spot beneath his bottom lip. 

 

He catches himself and looks Namjoon in the eye, “You’re a dick,” he mutters softly. Seokjin pulls himself back entirely and extracts himself from Namjoon, he doesn’t know why his stupid heart is fucking pounding in his chest.

 

He isn’t fucking sixteen-years-old with a stupid crush on a boy who couldn’t love him back. 

 

He’s fucking twenty-nine years old, he’s a little drunk but he can handle himself. 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon’s voice is low besides him and Seokjin thinks he might have been staring blankly at the TV screen. 

 

He pastes a smile on his face, “Mmm?” 

 

Namjoon hands him his phone silently and Seokjin takes it. Leaning back into the couch, he clicks edit and adds the name, “Most Beautiful Flower” with a flower and bee emoji. He hands the phone to its owner. Namjoon hands his phone back and when Seokjin unlocks it, he laughs. 

 

There, in-between a cabbage emoji and a cockroach emoji, “HoneyBee” was written. 

 

“Don’t laugh!” 

 

“ You put the roach there!” Seokjin yells back. Namjoon starts giggling, and hard .

 

“Okay - it’s not that funny,” Seokjin frowns.

 

“No, its just - remember we were at your house and there was a fucking bug on your bed and -” Seokjin begins to laugh too, “we stood outside your room for two hours, trying to coax this thing out,” 

 

“It was so big,” Seokjin finishes up his glass, trying not to choke on his laugh. 

 

“Pour me another one?” Namjoon passes his now empty glass to Seokjin. 

 

“We had to wait until my dad came home and he was so angry,”

 

“It was a school night and he came home to two screaming kids, I’d be mad too,” Namjoon says.

 

“ You were screaming, I was a brave child!” 

 

“Jin, you were literally the first one out of the room,” Namjoon deadpans. Seokjin does the mature thing and mocks him in a high voice. 

 

“What were we doing together on a school night? I remember being so tired,” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “I think it was right after,” he swallows, “Hannah.” Seokjin is looking deeply into his glass. God, he didn’t come here to talk about fucking trauma . 

 

He sees Namjoon nodding from the corner of his eye, “I remember, I couldn’t sleep alone for like, what? A year?” 

 

“No, Namjoon, that was before, fucking scaredy-cat,” 

 

“We were eight! Everyone was scared of the dark,” he pouts and looks at the screen. Namjoon looks like he wants to ask something, his mouth is sitting open with a frown. 

 

“What?” Seokjin barks and Namjoon’s eyes snap up to meet his own. He immediately shakes his head and smiles, close-lipped.

 

“It made it easier,” Namjoon says softly, and he sips his drink. 

 

“What?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Having you around,” he says it like it’s not devastating to whatever the fuck is going on in Seokjin’s chest right now. 

 

“Thank god it helped one of us because your fucking snoring gave me nightmares for years,” Seokjin tries to joke. 

 

“Don’t be mean,” Namjoon smiles widely. 

 

“ Years , Namjoon!” He throws his hand on his chest dramatically, “I can still hear the sounds,” Seokjin tries to look off into the distance dramatically but is deterred by a snort. 

 

“At least I’m not a fucking blanket-hoarder!” 

 

“I have poor circulation - I get cold, Namjoon !” Namjoon laughs. 

 

“And I’m always sweating,” He tells Seokjin. 

 

“Mmmm,” Seokjin agrees while he sips his drink, “like a heater,” Seokjin smiles when Namjoon wags his eyebrows.

 

“So, now I’m hot?” Seokjin drops his smile. 

 

“Nope. Still a cockroach.” He smiles spitefully. 

“Fine, you can be cold, I’ll keep all my warmth right here,” Namjoon pats his stomach. 

 

 “Awww Namjoonie, were you planning on cuddling me?” Seokjin giggles, but he sees Namjoon’s eyes widen. 

 

“ No - what?” Seokjin starts laughing at Namjoon’s response.

 

He decides to fuck with him more, “You’re probably really shitty at it anyway,” Seokjin feigns nonchalance. He pulls his lips in to stop himself from laughing.

 

“I am an awesome cuddler, fuck you,” Namjoon sputters. Seokjin shrugs and sips on his drink as he looks at the TV screen. He frowns when he sees the movie has changed. 

 

“Did you-” Seokjin is cut off when Namjoon abruptly pulls him into his space. He moves easily since his body is now flowing with alcohol. 

 

Seokjin tries to gain the upper hand and leans on Namjoon’s chest as he tries to wrap his arms around Seokjin, “I don’t need your shitty cuddles,” but the battle is lost because Namjoon is very warm and Seokjin can feel it soaking through his sweater. 

 

Seokjin is lying sideways and he doesn’t know when Namjoon lifted his feet, but his legs are next to Seokjin’s body as he finally relaxes.

 

 He is basically lying in Namjoon’s lap, drunk, on a Saturday night. 

 

But it is fucking cozy and no one has to know. 

 

He doesn’t dare move his head because he can feel Namjoon breathing over his shoulder, and having his face so close… would be very uncomfortable.

 

“Still shitty?” Namjoon asks softly and Seokjin tries not to tense at the sensation of his chest vibrating beneath him. 

 

“What cologne do you use?” he ignores the question and asks instead. 

 

There’s a pause and then, “My mom keeps buying this one for me, I actually don’t know what it's called.” He says thoughtfully. 

 

“It’s nice,” Seokjin slowly puts his head onto Namjoon’s shoulder, testing the waters. Namjoon actually relaxes some.

 

Huh .

 

“How is your mom?” Seokjin asks.

 

“Good, tired,” Namjoon unconsciously begins to fiddle with Seokjin’s sleeve. 

 

“‘Miss her sometimes,” Namjoon laughs softly and it jostles Seokjin a little, “What?” 

 

“You know that picture she had framed of us?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Our first day of school?” Namjoon asks and understanding dawns on him. 

 

“Yeah?” Seokjin replies. 

 

“It’s still on the mantle,” his chest huffs, “She added another one, I think we might have been in high school,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“God, no,” Seokjin whines, and even though he knows he should be uncomfortable… he kind of… isn’t. 

 

It’s probably the alcohol.

 

Yeah .

 

“I was so funny looking in school,” he groans. 

 

“What? No, you weren’t,” Namjoon counters, and he twists Seokjin’s sleeve tight around his wrist.

 

“Shut up, Namjoon - you can barely see,” Seokjin laughs but he feels so weighted and tired. 

 

“I’m being serious,” Namjoon says. 

 

“Me too,” Seokjin sighs and he can feel his eyes closing. He should probably wake up and get himself home, but it’s just so warm. 

 

Maybe he can rest his eyes for a few minutes, then he can wake up and go home. 

 

Yeah. 

 

Just a few minutes. 

 

He thinks he hears Namjoon speaking but his eyes are so heavy.

 

He hasn’t felt this sleepy in a long time.

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon’s voice sounds really far away.

 

“Mmmm?” Seokjin groans. It’s the last thing Seokjin can remember before he is taken by his dreams. 

 

—- 

 

“Jin? Jin, wake up,” Seokjin wakes to Namjoon’s gruff voice and gentle hand on his back. He tries to lift his head off Namjoon’s chest.

 

“Morning!” An enthusiastic voice shouts and Seokjin mutters something unintelligible. 

 

He frowns, Yoongi? 

 

He shoots up like a lightning rod and looks for the source of Yoongi’s voice. 

 

There, on Namjoon’s single couch, sipping something from a koala-shaped mug - is Min Yoongi. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Seokjin can feel his heart rate picking up. 

 

God, he was flat on his stomach, lying on Namjoon and hugging him.

 

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” Yoongi hides a small smile behind the mug. 

 

“How did you get in?” Namjoon asks, his voice is groggy and he looks half asleep. 

 

Yoongi shrugs, “Door was unlocked,” Namjoon nods. 

 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize how late it was - lemme run to the shower?” Yoongi nods as Namjoon speaks.

 

“No, please! Continue, I’d hate to interrupt,” Yoongi grins at Namjoon and Seokjin thinks he sees his back teeth for a moment. 

 

“I’m going to go,” Seokjin says suddenly, “Thank you, Namjoon,” he coughs and stands up, “last night was fun.” He pats down his pockets, trying to find his phone and car keys. 

 

“I’m sure it was,” Yoongi winks, “considering you ditched us for Namjoon last night.” Seokjin shoots the smug motherfucker a glare. He doesn’t dare look at Namjoon.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here anyway?” Seokjin tries to cut the route of conversation, lifting his glasses off the table. 

 

“We were going to try and work on a backing track for a thing,” Namjoon tells him and Yoongi nods. 

 

“And you! Why didn’t you lock the door?“ Seokjin points at Namjoon, face full of accusation. 

 

Namjoon looks sheepish, “I was hungry,” he shrugs. 

 

“Why, Jin-ah? Scared someone might have interrupted?” Yoongi lifts a brow. 

 

“You shut up, we were watching movies,” he points at Yoongi. 

 

“Oh, really?” He fucking crosses his legs, “What movie?“ Yoongi asks. 

 

“Indiana Jones,” Namjoon beats him to it. 

 

“Of course you did,” Yoongi smirks at Seokjin. 

 

“What does that mean?” Seokjin fires back. 

 

“Nothing,” Yoongi sips. 

 

“I knew it!” Namjoon shouts and Seokjin wants to explode. 

 

“It’s too early for this, I’m going home,” he says. 

 

“Rough night, huh?” Yoongi laughs. 

 

“ I AM LEAVING ,” Seokjin yells. 

 

“Wait, I wanna ask you something,” Yoongi stops him. Seokjin has made it behind the sofa at least. 

 

“Yes?” 

 

“I didn’t know you had a foot fetish?” Seokjin shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, “Or are you strictly into Namjoon’s toes these days?” 

 

“It’s been great, Namjoon. And Yoongi?” Seokjin calls. 

 

“Mmm?” Yoongi answers. 

 

“You and Jimin can go fuck yourselves,” He can hear Yoongi laughing as he slips on his shoes and slams the door behind him. 

Chapter 7: In Which Yoongi thinks he's in Atlantic Starr

Summary:

Sorry i havent updated ive been trying to open my third eye and shit man

 

Seokjin lets his phone die and only puts it on charge when he arrives at the office on Monday morning. He doesn’t bother checking any of the messages.

 

His friends are fucking morons and he hates every one of them. 

 

Why the fuck did he go to Namjoon’s place? 

 

God .  

 

He could have just stayed home and not been fucking embarrased. And, fuck him - they actually slept together. Like, slept . Seokjin doesn’t know when last he slept through the night without waking up to fiddle with his phone, but it happened.

 

And god, it happened on Namjoon’s fucking chest. How the fuck is he going to look anyone in the eye? He’s going to have to move to the Himalayas and raise goats in isolation. 

 

Goats are so fucking creepy though, fuck. 

 

With their fucking weird eyes - maybe he can look up bonding techniques that he can use with his goats. He opens the browser on his computer, and begins typing when there’s a knock on the door. 

 

Seokjin frowns, he isn’t expecting anyone to bother him until noon. 

 

“Come in?” He shouts and the door clicks open to reveal Namjoon in a brown suit and white-collared shirt. 

 

Seokjin frowns at him. Namjoon has never waited at the door for permission to enter. 

 

“Hey,” Namjoon smiles awkwardly at him and Seokjin feels his ears heating up. 

 

“Hi,” Seokjin clears his throat, “how was yesterday?” Namjoon frowns and then his brows lift in understanding. 

 

“Good, productive,” he shrugs. “Have you checked your phone?” Seokjin shakes his head. 

 

“Oh,” he mutters and shifts his weight.

 

“What? Why?” Seokjin immediately picks up his phone. 

 

“Nothing, I just thought -” Namjoon pauses, “You didn’t stay for breakfast yesterday, so I was wondering if you were hungry, but if you ate it’s cool, I can go grab something,” Namjoon says all in one go, pointing a thumb over his shoulder. 

 

Seokjin smiles, “You want to take me for breakfast?” he asks coyly.

 

“What? No, well, yes. But like, you can come if you want,” Namjoon stuffs his hands in his pockets and begins rocking on his heels. 

“I didn’t know you were so romantic, Namjoon! What’s next? Candle-lit dinner?” Seokjin laughs and leans back in his chair. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “You know what? Starve ,” he turns to leave but stops as soon as he opens the door. Seokjin immediately spots his father standing at the door, Namjoon bows as Seokjin gets to his feet. 

 

“Dad?” 

 

“What are you doing?” His father sounds suspicious. 

 

“Making out,” and his father pulls his mouth. Seokjin rounds the table and grabs his phone, “we’re actually going to grab some breakfast,” Namjoon spins his head to glare at him and Seokjin returns a sweet smile as he comes to grab Namjoon’s arm and links it with his own. 

 

“Oh,” his father frowns, “have fun.” he nods at them and walks away. 

 

“Come on, let’s go eat,” Seokjin says just as Namjoon pulls his arm from the link. 

 

“I don’t want to take you for breakfast anymore,” Seokjin pouts. 

 

“Please,” Seokjin tugs on his arm and Namjoon begins walking out the door, leaving Seokjin in his office with his mouth hanging open. 

 

Namjoon turns his head, “Are you coming?” Seokjin grins and runs a little to catch up his pace with Namjoon. 

 

“Where are we going?” He asks once they’re in Namjoon’s car. 

 

“There’s this cute cafe a few minutes away, they have great croissants,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

“Oooh, do they have chocolate croissants?” Namjoon laughs softly and nods. Seokjin watches him drive and it hits him. 

 

He had a good time with Namjoon on Saturday. It was a small piece of their evening that they had spent together before falling asleep, but it was good. 

 

They talked and joked, but they didn’t fight. Seokjin tries to leaf through their conversations to see if he’d felt angry at any point but nothing comes to mind. 

 

More than that, Seokjin had actually felt comfortable enough to fall asleep on Namjoon. 

 

It’s probably the familiarity . 

 

Yeah, but Namjoon did not have fucking muscles the last time they had slept together.

 

Maybe it’s like a scent thing? 

 

Namjoon definitely did not use cologne the last time they interacted like that.

Seokjin halts his thoughts before he could spiral and decides to look at the man himself to distract his mind.

 

The morning sun is glaring through the windscreen, so he has his sunglasses on, an elbow at the edge of his window and the other hand on the wheel. The light is lining his jaw so it looks sharper than usual. Seokjin sees his hand occasionally reach for the gearbox to change the gears even though it’s an automatic car. 

 

He looks nice. Sort of picturesque and Seokjin wishes he could capture Namjoon softly mouthing the words to the song playing off the radio in a picture. 

 

It‘s aesthetically pleasing, he reasons. No other reason to want a picture of Namjoon on his phone. 

 

“You’re staring,” Namjoon’s voice startles him out of his daze. 

 

“Just thinking, remember when I tried to teach you how to drive?” Namjoon groans. 

 

“You were awful! I mean, who the fuck takes a child on the freeway?” Namjoon shouts and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“You screamed the entire time,” Seokjin starts but is interrupted with the absurdity of the memory, “but you were quick to learn,” He points out. 

 

“Because it was either learn fast or die , Jin,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Did you or did you not learn how to drive,” Seokjin counters. 

 

“I did almost die,” Namjoon says and makes a turn. 

 

“You’re so dramatic,” he rolls his eyes. 

 

“We were on the highway, Jin!” Namjoon exclaims. 

 

“And look at you now! Driving with one hand even,” Seokjin gestures to Namjoons resting arm and the other man laughs. 

 

“Oh, so you think this was you?” 

 

“Absolutely! I built your confidence by throwing you into the deep-end,” Seokjin crosses his arms and grins at Namjoon. 

 

“You gave me trauma, I don’t think it’s the same thing, Hyung,” Namjoon snickers and Seokjin frowns. 

 

“You’re overthinking it,” he waves his hand in front of him.

 

“We’re here!” Namjoon points through the windscreen to a small hole-in-the-wall shop with a deep red awning on top of the entrance. 

 

“Goddess Cafe?” 

 

“You like pink, right?” Seokjin follows Namjoon out of the parked car. 

 

“I thought you weren’t homophobic anymore,” Seokjin says, holding back a laugh. 

 

Namjoon spins around to face him, “I told you-” he stops speaking when he sees Seokjin’s face, “dick,” he turns around and continues walking.

 

“I knew it! Calling us names on the streets,” Seokjin gasps and clutches his chest, “when will it end, Namjoon?” he wails and Namjoon ignores him and just keeps walking. 

 

He probably thinks Seokjin can’t see that he’s laughing.

 

But Seokjin does, and he feels warm. (He ignores it).

 

Inside is entirely pink and bright and Seokjin feels close to drowsy with the amount of warmth surrounding him. There’s pink-jewel chandeliers hanging at random intervals, pink windchimes placed in front of the windows with soft bells tinkering every so often the breeze picks up. The walls have soft, sunset murals with clouds lined with orange and pink and pink swirls wrapping them up in the shop. 

 

He sees a few customers sipping pink and purple drinks as Namjoon leads them to a small table near a window. 

 

“So?” Namjoon asks once they’ve taken their seats. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What?” 

 

“What do you think?” He asks, flipping through the pink faux-leather menu that was on the table. 

 

Seokjin keeps his brow furrowed, why would it matter what he thought? 

 

“I like it,” and Namjoon smiles brightly before looking back at the menu. 

 

Weird .

 

Soon a server is among them, taking their order for drinks and she makes a disgusted face when Namjoon asks for black coffee. Seokjin smiles at her and asks for a vanilla latte with a double shot of syrup. 

 

Once she leaves, the conversation is absent but Seokjin doesn’t feel the need to fill it in. 

 

Okay, he does but it isn’t particularly awkward, so he chooses something mindless to talk about. 

 

“I remember making you one like this,” Seokjin reaches up to touch the windchimes hanging above their heads. It tinkers and he pulls his hand back. 

 

“I still have it,” Seokjin frowns and laughs at Namjoon’s reply. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I still have it,” Namjoon looks at the windchimes and then back at him, “it’s supposed to protect me from bad dreams, right?” Seokjin smiles as he remembers handing Namjoon a terribly made wind chime (with which he’d given a stern talking to so it fulfilled its purpose of fighting off Namjoonie’s bad dreams) made from bottle caps and old soda bottles he’d washed and painted. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know how to reply so he waits until the waitress brings them their drinks and they place their orders. Namjoon laughs at the pink latte that Seokjin ordered, “You’re literally drinking tar - I don’t think you have the right to laugh at me,” he tells the other man and Namjoon just sticks his tongue out and picks up a sugar packet. 

 

“Jealousy makes you ugly,” 

 

“Yeah, okay, I’ll see you in the ICU, you sugar patient,” Namjoon shrugs.

 

“I won’t let you in,” Seokjin presses his lips together.

 

“I’ll be your husband then, your opinion doesn’t matter,” Namjoon grins and Seokjin gives him a dull look. 

 

“How are they gonna know you’re my husband? huh ? You have no proof,” Seokjin counters. 

 

“Our surnames are literally the same, Jin, and I think the marriage certificate might help,” Seokjin mocks him. 

 

“Should we get matching rings? I think that’s cheesy,” Seokjin thinks out loud. Namjoon frowns, probably questioning Seokjin’s train of thought. 

 

“Me too, we should get ones that the other would like,” 

 

“But that isn’t romantic, Namjoon,” Seokjin huffs. “If I wanted to choose my own ring, I would have married myself,” he pouts and Namjoon laughs. 

 

“You want me to pick out a ring for you?” Namjoon puts his coffee down and looks at Seokjin. He squirms slightly. 

 

It came out wrong. Not Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon wouldn’t know what to pick anyway.

 

“This is actually hilarious,” Seokjin sips his latte. Namjoon nods for him to continue. 

 

“We spent one night together and now we’re planning our wedding,” Namjoon’s eyebrows hit his hairline and he laughs.

 

“About that… are we actually going to have a wedding ?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin looks down into his latte.

 

Seokjin didn’t think about it, but now that he can’t avoid it - a wave of melancholy hits him. 

 

He wanted to do something special with the person he finally fell in love with. Granted, he did think he was in love with Namjoon once - but the situation is so damn fucked and Namjoon is straight. And it’s not like they’re looking at each other with any sort of romantic intent.

 

He thought it would be special. He wanted it to be special, the flowers, the suits, the venue, the rings… 

 

Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“I don’t think my mom is going to let a registration pass,” Seokjin cringes. Namjoon is right though, he is the only son. So is Seokjin, but he doubts his father cares for a show. 

 

The difference is Namjoon’s mother is a lovely woman and Seokjin’s father is so out of reach, he might as well have buried him with his mother.

 

Seokjin looks past Namjoon’s head and sees a board of daily specials, and he finds a platter of croissants for $15,55. As soon as his eyes land on it, Namjoon turns to it. 

 

“We should get the platter,” he says as he turns to Seokjin.

 

“I was promised croissants,” Seokjin says, sipping on his latte. It’s starting to cool down. 

 

“By who?” Namjoon looks at him and Seokjin glares at him, “We can get it after we eat food,” Seokjin frowns and pouts at this. 

 

“You’re not my mom,” he crosses his arms. 

 

“You already ordered your food -” Namjoon is cut off just as the waitress appears at their side, holding two full plates of breakfast. 

 

Seokjin tells her to bring the platter once they're done eating and she smiles politely before walking away. Namjoon has wasted no time in getting the toast on the side of his plate. He loads it with butter and swallows half the slice before the waitress actually leaves.

 

Seokjin also digs in. He spots a roasted tomato at the edge of his plate and he points it out to Namjoon. Namjoon nods and he moves it over to his. Namjoon smiles and Seokjin throws a disgusted look at the tomato. 

 

The waitress must have been watching them because she is upon them the moment Seokjin takes his last bite. A few minutes later, she brings them a platter full of warm pastries. The conversation between him and Namjoon ranges from joking about their wedding to the weather outside. When they get back to the office, Seokjin whines about taking a nap and going back for more croissants. He’d particularly liked the nutella one. 

 

The week passes by them in a flash of breakfasts spent at the Goddess Cafe, laughing and talking about all the things that don’t matter but Seokjin goes to bed with a smile on his face and sleeps well (probably because good breakfasts make for a full day). Work doesn’t seem so daunting as he looks forward to the pastries and the windchimes tinkering over his head as they cover the menu throughout the week. 

They learned that the waitress’ name is Sandy, and Namjoon managed to find out that she is a college student. She wants to be a forensics detective and her dad is going to retire this year. 

 

It’s a particularly grey morning when they get to the cafe on Friday. The wind swirls around them and Seokjin sees a small murder of crows fluttering about the cafe’s entrance. He counts seven in total before Namjoon pushes him in the door because, “It’s fucking freezing, Jin,”

 

“Why the fuck are there crows outside?” Seokjin asks out loud and in English. He cringes when Sandy shows them to ‘their spot’, “They like it here during the colder seasons,” she shrugs and waits for them to be seated before waltzing to the kitchen with their order. Today, Seokjin feels like something sweet and Namjoon obliges and orders the same breakfast.

 

Or dessert. 

 

“So, Jimin called me last night…” Seokjin begins and he doesn’t really know how to go about this, so he gets it out the best way he can, “They want to meet you, so if you’re free tonight, Jimin, Tae and Jeongguk all have invited you to have dinner with us,” Namjoon’s eyes widen and Seokjin fiddles with the edge of a pastel pink napkin. 

 

He doesn’t fucking know why he feels nervous, they’ve been eating together all week. It’s stupid, Seokjin is stupid but it doesn’t matter. 

 

Because when Namjoon grins and nods, relief flutters through Seokjin and he cannot pinpoint why. Over the course of the week, he found him to be the same kid he’d been friends with… just substantially taller. 

 

He doesn’t hate Namjoon quite as much as he’d thought.

 

Not that he particularly likes him, but he definitely isn’t the worst person he could have conjured this arrangement with. Seokjin likes his time with Namjoon, even though a lot of what comes after is guilt, because he ends up talking himself down from having enjoyed their time together. 

 

Seokjin finds he isn’t quite as angry at Namjoon as he’d thought. That, alone, left him awake on Wednesday night and Namjoon had ordered an extra shot of espresso in Seokjin’s latte the next day.

 

Namjoon isn’t this giant homophobic monster he’d thought him to be. Well, he isn’t anymore.

 

Seokjin is okay with Namjoon. 

 

“Did you tell them?” Seokjin squirms in his seat. 

 

“I’d rather not… the less people that know, the easier this will be,” Namjoon nods at Seokjin’s reply. 

 

“So, I’m coming as your boyfriend?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin groans. 

 

“You don’t have to, y’know? They're probably going to shove tequila down your throat to initiate you or some shit,” Seokjin smiles with a closed mouth and lifts his shoulders. Honestly, seeing his friends after a whole month of texts and calls is something he is actually craving. 

 

Which is strange. He barely leaves his room on his days off.

 

Namjoon rolls his eyes, “What’s the dress-code?” and Seokjin actually starts laughing. 

“We’re going to get drunk at my friend’s house with his two boyfriends and possibly Hobi and Yoongi - wear a trash bag if you want, Namjoon-ah,” Namjoon purses his lips at that. 

 

“I don’t want to look like an idiot,” he folds his arms as Sandy drops their drinks off. She pauses just before her cue to leave and it looks like she has a question burning at the tip of her tongue. 

 

“Sandy?” Namjoon asks her politely. 

 

“Yeah, sorry. I just wanted to know when ya’ll started dating! Ya’ll are dating, right?” She smiles and Seokjin frowns. They haven’t given her any reason to believe they’re dating… but a few times they did joke about putting Seokjin in a big-poofy wedding dress. Maybe she had overheard a conversation they had had befo-

 

“Almost a year now, right?” Seokjin focuses back into the moment and looks at Namjoon. He gets with the picture very quickly and plants a smile on his face and nods. 

 

“Ya’ll are the sweetest, my partner and I have only been together for two weeks but I think she’s the one,” she squeals and Namjoon entertains her, saying god-knows what. She even pulls out her phone to show them pictures of her girlfriend and the cute dates they’ve been on. 

 

“How did y'all meet?” And it’s the only thing Seokjin registers her saying. Thankfully, Namjoon answers smoothly and she coos as she hears their childhood memories being told. 

 

How the fuck did she think we were dating? We were literally sitting here and eating food for the past week. 

 

Seokjin is trying to cycle through every conversation they’ve had in the past week and boils it down to her eavesdropping and being so full of the pink shit they put in every fucking thing in this stupid shop.

 

“Jin?” Namjoon calls and Seokjin sees that Sandy is walking away with a bounce in her step. Seokjin hums and sips his drink. 

 

“Did you say two boyfriends?” and Seokjin gets with the programme and nods. 

 

“I told you about Tae, Jeongguk and Jimin, right?” Seokjin is pretty sure he’s mentioned them at least five different times this week. Namjoon nods with a frown on his face. 

 

“I thought they were like roommates or something?” Seokjin shakes his head and picks up his coffee. 

 

“They’ve been together for three years now,”

 

“Polyamourous?” Seokjin nods and is waiting for Namjoon to scoff and turn his nose up at him. 

 

“Cool,” is all he says. Seokjin frowns. 

 

“I mean I’ve never seen a polyamourous relationship in real life,” Namjoon clarifies. Then Seokjin remembers last week. 

 

“Did you not hear Jimin talking about Tae and his toes?” Seokjin never thought he’d ever mention that conversation again. 

 

“Well, yeah - but I thought it was, like? I don’t know? A joke or something,” Namjoon shrugs. 

 

That launches them into a discussion. Seokjin tells Namjoon all about the three men and how Jimin had no boundaries when it came to sex-talk. Namjoon grins and listens to Seokjin talk about the people he loves. 

 

When the food arrives, Namjoon tells him about his travels and the people he’s met and Seokjin feels a deep sense of longing. He’s only ever been to Korea since they’ve moved to the states. Sandy drops off their cakes and goodies and they barely notice her.

 

It’s when Namjoon is talking about a potential trip to Reykjavik that Seokjin butts in, “I want to go,” Namjoon looks at him with surprise strewn on his face. 

 

“Jules Verne, right? You made me read that long-ass book when we were in primary school,” Seokjin says and he huffs. Who the fuck reads that when they’re twelve? And makes their friend read it? 

 

“You remember?” 

 

“Of course! You went on for years talking about how you were going to go through a volcano and find dinosaurs,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“It was my dad’s favourite book,” Namjoon smiles and ducks his head to swipe some icing off his cake.

 

Seokjin pauses. He never knew that. 

 

“That copy I gave you? It was his,” Namjoon continues and Seokjin thinks back to the ratty old book that a chubby Namjoon had handed him during recess. Namjoon barely ever talked about his deceased father, but whenever he did - it was like he was plucking at distant stars. Pretty lights that were so far out of reach but close enough to shine on him. 

 

“You said I could keep it,” Seokjin is trying to understand why Namjoon would hand something so valuable over so recklessly. All the other man does is shrug. 

 

“You were important to me and the book made me happy and I wanted you to be happy too,” Seokjin’s stomach falls. He has no idea where that fucking book is. He brought most of his books to his apartment when he moved out of his father’s house but he can’t recall if he ever saw the old book. 

 

God, now he needs to find it. Maybe he’ll pay his father’s estate a visit and go through his old room if it isn’t already in his apartment. What if he threw it away? Fuck . He was really angry at Namjoon at some stage but Seokjin doesn’t think he threw anything away. That would be years of spring cleaning and unlearning. 

 

Namjoon had been a part of his life for a long while. He’s not really a part of it anymore, they’re just trying to make it seem like they spend time together. 

 

He thought about it last night, lying on his pillow - mind wandering. Namjoon probably planned it that way and Seokjin can’t blame him. It was a smart plan, but it still sort of twisted his chest to know he was spending time with him out of obligation. As soon as that thought had popped up, Seokjin groaned at himself. He must not get attached, the last time he did - he allowed his feelings to fester and it turned into something Namjoon couldn’t return. 

 

And sure, being around Namjoon was a sort of comfort that came easy and Seokjin often forgot about the elephant in the room. It was different this time, because Seokjin knew what not to do.

 

Breakfast that morning had passed in silence but it was heavy with all the things Seokjin had on his mind. Namjoon pointed out the huge murder that seemed to become comfortable in the chilly air, pecking around and Seokjin thinks about the seven crows for the rest of the work day. 

 

When it’s close to six in the evening, Namjoon comes to Seokjin’s office and throws himself into the seat across the desk, “Ready?” he fiddles with the buckle on his brown leather satchel that’s strapped across his chest. 

 

Seokjin tries to re-read the last few lines of a report about something he can’t even remember. He ducks under his table and pulls the main power cord out of the extension. He lifts his head and sees Namjoon peering down at him curiously, “Ready,” he smiles up at the other man. He sticks out his hand and Namjoon bends over to help him up. 

 

“Seokjin, I - oh,” his father is standing at the door  with Hoseok and their eyes are wide. Seokjin looks back to Namjoon with a frown. The question dies on his lips as he takes in the situation. 

 

He is on his knees, between Namjoon’s legs with one hand on his thigh to anchor him upwards and the other clasped in Namjoon’s palm. He pulls back his hands with force and gets to his feet with no help. 

 

“I was just leaving, what’s up?” Seokjin walks around his desk, avoiding eye-contact with all the men in the room.

 

His father coughs into his fist, “I wanted to check on you, but I see that you’re busy so, good evening, boys,” he makes a swift exit, leaving Hoseok smiling coyly at the door. 

 

“You dropped your pen , Hyung?” Hoseok asks and Seokjin gives him a dirty look. 

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Seokjin asks, his patience on it’s last thread.

 

“Not as much as you, apparently,” Hoseok grins. 

 

“Hoseok! Why don’t we wait outside, Jin-Hyung will meet us in the parking lot?” Namjoon looks to Seokjin for confirmation. He nods and gives Namjoon a small grateful smile. With that, the two men leave Seokjin to gather his things. 

 

When he walks to the parking lot, Hoseok and Namjoon seem to be talking. Namjoon looks like he’s trying to convince Hobi to believe in fairies. Hobi has a sad sort of smile on his face as he listens to Namjoon. He can’t make out what they’re saying from where he is and he doubts he could stay hidden if he moves any closer. 

 

They notice his movement as soon as he walks forward and they both smile at him. 

 

“Change of plans! They don’t feel like cooking so we’re going to some piano bar,” Hobi announces as Seokjin unlocks his car.

 

“Okay, did they send the address? Namjoon, you wanna drop the cars off?” Hobi’s eyebrows rise and Seokjin silently tells him to shut his mouth.

 

“Can we drop them off at my place and leave from there?” Seokjin nods and Hoseok watches them.

 

“I need to change my shirt though, this one is so damn stiff,” Seokjin pulls at his collar. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “I have clothes,” Seokjin thinks about it for a moment and then nods. 

 

Hoseok’s phone pings and then the man looks down and taps the screen a few times, “Got the address! Who am I riding with?” 

 

“I should leave you here,” Seokjin points the key at Hoseok as he opens the door. 

 

Hobi grins as he flips Seokjin off and opens the passenger door to Namjoon’s car. He can’t help but laugh to himself once they’re on the road. 

 

—- 

 

“Namjoon, do you not have any normal shirts?” He ran to the bathroom to slip on a pair of Namjoon’s jeans and a pair of his white sneakers. His pants are on Namjoon’s footboard and he glances at them. Now, they’re trying to decide on shirts.

 

Namjoon rolls his eyes.

 

“Don’t sass me,” Seokjin warns. 

 

Namjoon lifts a brow, “Or what?” Seokjin gives him a dull look before turning his attention back to the closet. 

 

“God, just give me the red one,” Seokjin begins unbuttoning his shirt, Namjoon passes it to him quickly as he browses through his options of fucking weird printed shirts. 

 

“Guys! They’re already there!” Hobi screams from the lounge. 

 

“Coming!” Seokjin shouts back. 

 

Seokjin throws on the shirt and begins buttoning, “Come on, Namjoon - we’re gonna be late,” Namjoon hesitates for all of two seconds before deciding to pull the entire shirt over his head without unbuttoning it. 

 

Seokjin falters and he loses focus of what his hands are supposed to be doing. 

 

Namjoon’s hair is messed up and he’s trying to pat it down while the sleeve of his dress shirt is stuck on his arm. 

 

And he has a tattoo. It’s mostly linework that looks random but in the centre there’s a semi-colon. It sits on the right hand side of his torso. 

 

But he is shirtless. 

 

And goddamn does Namjoon know how to be shirtless. He has a pair of worn out jeans with a hole near the knee. He looks like a lumberjack, but shirtless.

 

He is very shirtless and Seokjin is staring. His biceps, his chest - 

 

Fuck , Seokjin was on that chest a week ago. 

 

“Jin? Something wrong with the button?” Namjoon points at his hands. Hands that are supposed to be buttoning a shirt so he can go introduce his fake boyfriend to his friends. 

 

Fake boyfriend. 

 

“No,” Seokjin’s voice sounds marginally higher and Namjoon frowns but doesn’t ask. He turns around and walks to the door. He can button his shirt in the lounge. 

 

He knows he’s standing just outside the door, dazed since the only thing running through his mind is: Namjoon. Tattoo. Biceps. Tattoo. Chest. 

 

Seokjin forces himself to stay present and look for Hoseok. He finds him with his earphones plugged in, softly bobbing his head as he texts someone. 

 

“Dude, you’re listening to music now?” Hobi jumps a little and gets to his feet. 

 

“You’re done?” He frowns and looks Seokjin up and down as if he’s looking for something. 

 

“Yes? Namjoon is coming,” Hobi nods and starts tapping away again. 

 

“The Uber is a few minutes away!” Just as he speaks, Namjoon comes out of the hallway with his shirt done up. If you could call it that. 

 

He put on a chain that dips very low into his neckline. Namjoon left a few buttons open and Seokjin’s heart pulses something stupid at the memory of his tattoo. 

 

“Lookin’ to catch something tonight, Namjoon-ah?” As Namjoon approaches, Seokjin gets a strong whiff of his cologne. He updated it. 

 

That’s cool though, because Seokjin made it clear that he was free to roam about as he wished. 

 

Namjoon smiles brightly, and despite looking like he stepped off of GQ, Seokjin thinks: it’s just Namjoonie with his round cheeks .

 

“Ready to go down?” Is all he says and Namjoon and Hoseok follow his lead. 

 

Hoseok gets a call as they wait for their Uber driver, who is now four minutes away. He steps away slightly and walks along the pavement as he talks. 

 

Namjoon turns to him and Seokjin smiles politely. 

 

He hopes this goes well. 

 

When they arrive at the venue, it’s warm with the soft stage lights bouncing off the dark wood in the room. There’s a lot of people milling about, some chatting and some watching the live band perform. 

 

As soon as they step past the threshold, Jimin scrapes his chair backwards and stands to wave his hands. Tae stands with him and follows the wild movements. Seokjin smiles brightly as Hoseok runs past them to go grab Jimin and Taehyung in a fierce hug. 

 

Jimin pulls away quickly to approach Seokjin and fuck. This is it , he thinks.

 

After hugging him, he sees that Tae is standing behind him and he breathes deeply. 

 

“Jiminie, this is Namjoon. Namjoon, this is Jimin,” He says and he looks at Namjoon who’s eyes have widened to saucers, he looks back to Jimin and sees him frowning at Namjoon. Thankfully, ever the intuitive, Taehyung steps before Jimin and hugs Namjoon in a greeting and gives him his name. 

 

Jimin breaks his frown, still scrutinising Namjoon beneath his smile, “Hi,” and he hugs him. 

 

“Alright, let’s go introduce my boyfriend to Jeongguk,” then, “Yoongi here yet?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Jimin walks in front of them but glances back to Namjoon, “Yeah, you know how he and Kookie get when they’re together,” and true to form, when they reach the table, Jeongguk and Yoongi look like they’re in the middle of discussing something important. They look up and Jeongguk’s doe eyes go wide at Seokjin and Namjoon.

 

“Hey, Kook, this is Namjoon,” Seokjin nods to Namjoon. Namjoon rounds the table to greet him and claps Yoongi on the back. Hoseok jumps out of his chair, “Namjoon-ah! It’s been so long, where's my hug?” Hobi throws himself into Namjoon’s arms and the taller man chuckles. 

 

Once they sit, the menus are long forgotten as Taehyung starts with the questions. 

 

“How long have y’all been together?” Taehyung asks with all the enthusiasm of a puppy. Jimin still has that sceptical look on his face.

 

When Namjoon answers, “Almost a year now,” Jimin’s left eyebrow quirks like he knows they’re lying. Fuck .

 

“Funny, Jin-hyung never mentioned you?” Jimin picks up his drink. 

 

“Jimin-ah, they kept it a secret, you know how superstitious Jin is,” Yoongi tries to steer Jimin away from them. 

“Yah! You know, last time he dated someone, he didn’t tell us until they broke up and we found him locked in his bedroom for a week,” Hoseok helpfully chips in. Seokjin cringes and looks at Namjoon and smiles awkwardly. 

 

Jimin nods and Jeongguk, as usual, is picking at the table and not conversing at all. 

 

Suddenly, breaking the tension, Jimin claps his hands and shouts, “Celebration shots?” the table lets out a breath of relief, and Yoongi visibly relaxes. Seokjin, however, knows Jimin and he has something to say which means they have to lie better .

 

Namjoon laughs beside him, “Jin-hyung warned me,” and Jimin grins with all the slyness of the Cheshire cat. 

 

Tae calls over the waiter and gets the table three rounds of tequila shots and Seokjin groans, “I’m still recovering from last week,” 

 

“That’s because you’re getting old, Hyung,” Jeongguk says and he has a huge smile on his face. 

 

“At least I can down a shot without gagging, young one,” Seokjin glares at the youngest and Jeongguk lifts his brow. 

 

“Is that a challenge, Hyung?” Seokjin folds his arms. 

 

“Absolutely,” 

 

“Wait, wait, when did you go drinking without me?” Jimin butts in. 

 

Seokjin is about to answer before Yoongi beats him to it, “Oh, he ditched us all to spend the night with Namjoon,” he says as he scrolls through his phone. When he finds what he’s looking for, he clicks on a photo and turns it to Jeongguk, Tae and Jimin. 

 

Taehyung immediately coos at whatever Yoongi is showing them, Jeongguk starts giggling and Jimin’s left eyebrow lifts cynically. 

 

“Hyung, lemme see!” Hoseok whines from beside Yoongi. Before Hoseok could catch a glimpse, Seokjin leans over and grabs the phone from Yoongi. He ignores the protests as he actually looks at the screen. 

 

Hoseok leans over, “Ohhhh,” he says. 

 

Seokjin has no words once he processes the picture. He knows Namjoon is looking at it because he leans in a bit closer. 

 

It’s Seokjin, passed the fuck out, wrapped around Namjoon on the couch. His face is tucked into Namjoon’s neck, Namjoon has one hand up Seokjin’s sweater and the other resting on his back. Before he can make his move, Yoongi grabs the phone back and sticks his tongue out at Seokjin. 

 

“You pervert! Delete it!” Seokjin shouts and Yoongi just smiles at him and locks his phone. 

 

“Awww, Jin-hyung! You both look so cute together! How did you meet?” Taehyung asks, setting his chin on his palms. He might as well have sparkles in his eyes. 

 

Seokjin coughs, “We actually met when we were like, five?” he smiles at Namjoon. Tae has no reservations about being dramatic and he immediately nods for Seokjin to continue. 

 

“Uhm, yeah and we work together so Namjoon asked me out last, uh…” 

 

“October,” Namjoon fills in. Jimin nods as he drinks his vodka and lemonade. He hums and doesn’t say a thing. Which is unlike Jimin. Jimin says whatever he feels and holds no remorse. 

 

“How come we’ve never heard about you?” Taehyung pipes up. 

 

“We wanted to keep it private fo-” Seokjin begins but Jeongguk interrupts him. 

 

“You said you met when you were young, right? How come-” 

 

“We all went to school together,” Yoongi answers and Hoseok immediately steals the conversation away from them with a story about how Namjoon and Hoseok used to sing to Yoongi and Seokjin from the third floor of the building every break. Seokjin smiles, he remembers Yoongi always shouting the lyrics back and he always would laugh until his stomach hurt. 

 

He could kiss Hoseok right about now.

 

“Twenty-one tequila shots?” A server in a black apron and crisp white shirt holds a silver tray with tall shots and Seokjin’s liver cries at the sight. 

 

Jimin immediately stands up, all cheers and thanks as he takes the tray from the server and tells him to bring a bottle of tequila to the table. He makes a hasty exit and Jimin zeroes his focus onto Namjoon. He can hear his faux-boyfriend gulp. 

 

“Yoongi-ah, you want one? I don’t think I can finish three,” everyone turns to Hoseok who’s sliding one of his shots to Yoongi with a sour look on his face. 

 

“Hobi, no! We’re celebrating Namjoon joining the family! Drink the fucking shots,” Taehyung points menacingly. Seokjin cringes at the guilt warping his stomach. 

 

“My mom warned me about kids like you,” Hoseok eyes Tae, who just grins his boxy smile. 

 

Jimin stands, “To our newest family member,” he raises the shot glass and everyone repeats after him jovially. Before everyone could down their first shot, they all turned to him expectantly. 

 

“What?” his eyes go wide. 

 

“Don’t you want to say anything?” Jeongguk asks innocently. And bless his soul but what the fuck is he supposed to say right now? He looks to Yoongi for help but Yoongi just lifts his shoulders.

 

Fuck fuck fuck

 

“Uhm, thank you everyone for being so welcoming to Namjoonie,” he turns to the man himself. 

 

“And?” Jimin presses.

 

“And what?” 

 

“Come on, Hyung! Throw us a bone, you never bring anyone around us, so tell us why this one is so special,” Taehyung whines and Seokjin swallows hard. 

 

“Thank you all for being so lovely and having me,” he turns to Seokjin, whose brain is currently out of order, “And thank you for being you and allowing me into your space, love you, pumpkin,” Namjoon tells him. And Seokjin is sure his heart flatlines for a few good moments before he registers that Namjoon is expecting a response. 

 

Yoongi barks a laugh, “Love you too, my fucken cinnamon apple,” 

 

Hoseok shouts, “You was my baby !” he bangs the table and everyone at the table dissolves into fits of laughter. 

 

It doesn’t last long, because as soon as the joke dies, all eyes are back on Seokjin again .

 

Oh, fuck me . 

 

Seokjin leans forward and awkwardly presses his lips on Namjoon’s cheek, expecting the table to go wild at the affection. 

 

He gets booed . 

 

“What now ?” Seokjin is fed up. What more could he possibly fucking do? 

 

“That’s not how you treat your man!” Taehyung’s mouth is obviously loose with the alcohol and Seokjin frowns. He can hear Yoongi fucking laughing and Hoseok is probably grateful in the delay.

 

“He’s right,” Yoongi snickers. Seokjin’s mouth pops open at that, because what the actual fuck? 

 

“Yeah, Jin, you should kiss your man,” Jimin says opposite him, quirking an eyebrow and smiling slyly. 

 

“I’m not an exhibitionist, although I’m sure you would love that, Jiminie,” Seokjin coughs up. It’s weak and he knows it. How does Jimin fucking know?

 

“Hyu-” but before Jeongguk could finish, Namjoon pulls his chin to face him, he gives Seokjin exactly one second to catch up before he presses his lips to his. 

 

Seokjin is pretty sure his stomach is on the floor. Every thought he’s ever had flies straight out of his head when his mouth meets Namjoon’s. It’s soft and the teenager in Seokjin literally pulls a Lazarus and rises from the dead. 

 

He is very happy. 

 

However, the same can’t be said for current Seokjin. He feels upturned, and sure, this might have been much easier if he was drunk but somehow, Jimin knows something and they need to prove a point. Fuck . 

 

Seokjin shuts his eyes and presses against the kiss before humming and pulling back. God, how the fuck is he supposed to look anyone in the eye after this?

 

“Well, that was depressing,” Jeongguk says and Seokjin immediately lifts the first shot to his mouth and gulps it down. Everyone promptly follows suit and Hoseok gags after his second shot. 

 

By the time he looks up, Jimin has all three of his shot glasses bottoms-up and he looks to see Namjoon finishing up his last with flinch. 

 

Jimin points at Hoseok, “Don’t you fucking dare. That is two dollars a shot - you swallow that shit, Jung Hoseok,” Hobi swallows the alcohol in his mouth and his eyes start to water. 

 

Yoongi sees his expression and holds his mouth as a laugh tries to escape. Instead, it’s the tequila that does, and it shoots straight into Hoseok’s face. 

 

“Ayaaaa,” Hoseok wipes down his eyes and everyone is giggling. 

 

The night begins shortly after. The table is a loud chorus of chatter and laughter, all wanting to listen and catch everyone up on what was happening in their own lives. The bottle of tequila arrives before their food but Hoseok suggests holding it off until they finish eating. Seokjin and Jimin were upon the bottle as soon as they took their last bites, each taking a swig and passing it between themselves. 

 

Namjoon finishes his food and Seokjin watches as he orders another beer. Everyone adds onto it, including Seokjin.

 

When his pina colada arrives, Hoseok immediately grabs it for a taste and sulks because he no longer wants his beer. Seokjin laughs and swaps their drinks, the beer is tart.

 

They’re two hours in and Seokjin is slightly more than tipsy. The boys are laughing a little too hard at every little thing. Namjoon is a warm presence besides Seokjin and he leans more and more into him until Seokjin sets his hand behind Namjoon’s chair. He is literally cradling Namjoon in his armpit and sipping on a pina colada. 

 

Jeongguk is sitting, huddled close to Yoongi. They have two bendy straws in a bottle of vodka and are drinking from it. Out of nowhere, Hoseok dashes in from the dance floor, out of breath and pulls a straw from thin air to jam his head between Yoongi and Jeongguk to stick his own in. He takes four big gulps (Seokjin sees the liquid steadily go down in the bottle) before breathing, “How was yesterday?” he asks and Seokjin frowns, because he isn’t looking in their direction. He’s looking at Yoongi, who is now trying his best to evaporate. 

 

“Good,” he shrugs and that spurs Hoseok on to gulp three more sips before pulling Jimin to the dancefloor. Seokjin doesn’t even think Hoseok heard the answer. Strange.

 

“What happened yesterday?” Namjoon pulls the words out of Seokjin's mouth. 

 

“Met up with an old friend,” He huffs and drinks but Jeongguk pulls the bottle away from him. 

“I’m old!” Seokjin shouts and he can feel Namjoon’s chest rising with his laugh. 

 

“And I’m a friend,” Tae points a lazy finger at him, “We didn’t see you yesterday,” he squints suspiciously.

 

Seokjin gasps, “You had a date!” he hits himself on the chest, “How could you do this to me, Yoongi-ah?” he whines. 

 

“How many boyfriends you want?” Yoongi looks at Seokjin and suddenly, he is very aware of how he’s sitting with Namjoon. His hand stills where it was settled in Namjoon’s hair. 

 

What the actual fuck is he doing?  

 

“Yah, Hyung. Am I not good enough?” Namjoon’s words slur slightly and Seokjin rolls his eyes. He pats Namjoon’s head before turning back to Yoongi for answers. Soon, Seokjin and Tae find that they are not going to get anywhere with Yoongi because the man is an actual child and keeps getting distracted every five seconds. 

 

Seokjin’s hand is fiddling with little tufts of Namjoon’s hair when he leans down to sniff it, it smells like a fruity shampoo, “Are you sniffing me?” Namjoon tilts his head to look up at Seokjin.  

 

“Mmm, it’s nice,” he leans in again. Tae huffs and walks to Jimin and Hoseok, who are currently sending requests to the live band like it’s their job. 

 

Yoongi and Jeongguk are talking about something, Yoongi’s laugh has gotten louder and Jeongguk has left his reservations about being quiet behind with the first few shots of tequila. Seokjin knows that Namjoon is a part of the conversation and Jeongguk beams at his boyfriend every time he adds something to the conversation. He has no idea what they’re talking about but what he does know is that his drink is almost done. 

 

He leans down, “I’m going to the bar,” Namjoon immediately wakes up and Seokjin feels the cool night air invade the outline of Namjoon on his side. 

 

He smiles lazily, probably drunker than he thought, “Let’s go?” 

 

Seokjin makes his way to the bar, Namjoon is following close by - judging by the ever present heat at his back. That same heat closes in behind him when he reaches the lip of the bar, Namjoon’s arms wrap around him and he hooks his chin over Seokjin’s shoulder. 

 

He briefly forgot that Namjoon gets handsy when he drinks.

 

“Get me a beer?” he tells Seokjin and he is really trying his hardest not to tense up. The alcohol helps a bit. 

 

“You sure you don’t want water?” Seokjin laughs and Namjoon digs his chin into his shoulder a little harder. Seokjin laughs and signals the bartender. He looks so at ease behind the bar even though it’s buzzing and there are people shouting for him all over the place. 

 

“Hey handsome,” the bartender greets him and Seokjin smiles. It’s been a good while since he’s had anyone in his bed. He thinks that the beautiful man with bright green eyes and crooked smile could be someone he would like to take a toss with.

 

Before Seokjin could even reply, the arms around his waist tighten their grip and he is reminded that he didn’t come here alone. Namjoon stands straight behind him, hands still on his sides, “A beer and a tequila sunrise,” Namjoon speaks but his voice isn’t as warm as it had been the entire evening. 

 

The bartender grins and winks at Seokjin before he walks away. Namjoon returns his head to Seokjin shoulders, “You can’t flirt with the fucking bartender,” He growls into Seokjin’s ear. 

 

“What- I didn’t even speak to him!” Namjoon’s arms resume caging Seokjin against his body. Which is strange, but Seokjin has a part to play and Namjoon is keeping him in line so he doesn’t raise any questions. 

 

They stand like that until the cute bartender comes back with a perfect ombre cocktail and a beer for Namjoon, “Charge it to table fourteen,” he nods, picking up a bottle and pouring three tall shots as Seokjin sticks his straw in. 

 

“For you and your friend ,” the green-eyed cutie hands Seokjin two shots and downs the third himself. Namjoon tenses and suddenly Seokjin feels Namjoon’s warm lips press against the pulse in his neck. 

 

God above him, he actually likes it because he is a depraved motherfucker and he needs to get himself in check because this is Namjoon .

 

“Thank you,” Namjoon lifts himself and drinks both the shots in Seokjin’s hand. The bartender lifts an amused eyebrow and sticks out a hand to Namjoon, “Dean,” he introduces himself. 

 

Namjoon takes it and he can still feel his one arm around his torso, “Namjoon. This is my partner , Seokjin,” Seokjin smiles awkwardly and takes a sip from his drink. 

 

The bartender smiles at them and Seokjin gulps. He is very beautiful when he does that, and he has slight dimples framing the edges of his smile, “How long have y’all-” but he never finishes the question because Yoongi is suddenly screaming from the speakers around the room. 

 

Seokjin swings his body around and out of Namjoon’s grip. He feels his drink slosh a little on his fingers and Namjoon is cackling wildly behind him. 

 

“This is dedicated-” Yoongi hiccups with the mic on stage, he resumes in English, “This is dedicated to my friends-” he scans the crowd until he lands on them at the bar and grins wickedly. He points directly at them and Seokjin can feel his ears on fire. 

 

Ideally, he should laugh but the entire crowd turns to find the point of Yoongi’s sudden outburst, “Namjoon-ah and Seokjin! It’s time y’all got your shit together! I’m singing this song for you stupids,” Jimin whoops and bounces on his feet and Seokjin can see the band laughing behind Yoongi on the stage. 

 

Seokjin actually bursts out laughing because the band starts playing the opening of a very familiar song and Yoongi begins screeching the lyrics.

 

“ Girl you are to meeeeeee, ” Yoongi starts waving them to the dancefloor and Seokjin gulps down his entire drink and slams the glass on the counter. He pulls Namjoon’s arm, dragging them to the front of the stage. 

 

Hoseok jumps up next to Yoongi and pulls the mic to his mouth, “ Weee both know, that our love will grow ,” they’re both wailing and Seokjin grins because the bass player is absolutely cracking himself up behind them. Seokjin pulls Namjoon close and they’re swaying in time with the beat, looking at the stage and giggling among themselves. Hoseok is now on his knees belting out the chorus dramatically and Jimin has his head thrown back in laughter as he, Jeongguk and Tae dance perfectly in sync with each other. 

 

When Hoseok begins the second verse, Yoongi grabs his hand and spins him around on the stage. There is some unwarranted twerking when they sing the second chorus together and the crowd loses their minds, cheering for the two morons on stage.

 

Namjoon has his hands fitted perfectly on his waist and Seokjin has his hands thrown around his neck. It seems romantic enough as they sway lazily. It’s nice. 

 

Seokjin is a little drunk.

 

Suddenly, Namjoon brings a hand up to Seokjin’s shoulder, and he readjusts their arms so one of Seokjin’s hands is on Namjoon’s waist.

 

“You look nice,” Namjoon says and he pinches the soft collar on Seokjin’s shirt, drawing his attention to him. 

 

“Of course, it’s your clothes,” Seokjin huffs a laugh and rolls his eyes. 

 

“My shirt looks nice on you,” he picks his eyes up to meet Seokjin’s, “And don’t sass me,” Namjoon tugs on the collar and Seokjin looks at him. 

 

“Or what?” He repeats Namjoon’s words from earlier. Seokjin knows he means it differently because he hasn’t really stopped thinking about the weird tattoo… and everything else.

 

Namjoon hooks a finger in the collar, and Seokjin can feel it - warm against his neck. Namjoon is just fucking messing with him, and he is very handsy when he’s drunk. (Seokjin remembers the week before, reassuring himself.) 

 

The next tug actually jerks Seokjin slightly closer to Namjoon, “ Or what? ” Seokjin presses, looking up defiantly. 

 

He’s waiting for Namjoon to book a ticket and pull himself back. 

 

Seokjin is confused and slightly drunk. If Namjoon wants to play gay chicken, well, he’s just as stubborn. And gay. 

 

And he hasn’t been fucked in two years. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t understand what he’s dealing with.

 

“There’ll be consequences,” Namjoon says and it’s quiet over the boom of music and chatter surrounding them. Seokjin can feel his breath, warm against his cheek and he laughs softly. 

 

He lifts a brow, “Oh?” and Seokjin feels the excitement building and his stomach is somersaulting at the prospect of Namjoon steadily watching as he parts his lips. Namjoon tilts himself towards it, humming deeply and -

 

“Namjoon-ah!” Yoongi slurs and grabs onto Seokjin’s shoulder. 

 

“Yoongi-ah!” Namjoon is smiling brightly as if what just happened didn’t just fucking happen.

 

Yoongi grips his shoulder and raises his other hand to point at Namjoon, “You know that night? I was kissing Jin-hyung?” Namjoon frowns and a heavy piece of lead falls into his stomach. 

 

“Yoongi, shut up-”

 

“No, no! I need to say this-” Yoongi slurs, finger waving around. 

 

“Yeah,” Namjoon clears his throat and Seokjin glares at him, panic rising in his throat. 

 

“I wasn’t kiss -kissing Seokjin,” Yoongi turns and looks at Seokjin with a sour look on his face.

 

“Yoongi, shut it- this is not a high school drama-“ but Seokjin gets poked in the eye.

 

 Namjoon looks confused and before he could ask anything further, Jeongguk comes to drag Yoongi away by his shirt. 

 

The drunk slips away easily and Seokjin realizes that his friends have stopped bombarding the stage. Jimin is on his haunches with a random lady, bouncing his ass, and Tae and Hoseok are cheering him on from the sidelines.  

 

Namjoon pulls him back to the same position they were in before they were interrupted. Seokjin makes sure there’s a respectable amount of space left between their faces. 

 

“What did Yoongi mean he wasn’t ‘kiss-kissing’ you?” Namjoon asks him. Seokjin’s neck feels hot and this is embarrassing. 

 

So fucking embarrassing - but they’re older. 

 

He should be able to fucking laugh at his younger self, so he says, “I asked him to show me how to kiss a boy,” and he shrugs, “I wanted to make it good for the boy I actually wanted to kiss,” he laughs and leans his head on Namjoon’s shoulder. It’s warm, so he keeps his cheek resting there for a moment. 

He shouldn’t be embarrassed to admit that he had a crush when he was sixteen. It’s old news.

 

“Okay. Who?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin lifts his head. He is pretty sure the disbelief was written on his face when he asks, 

 

“Are you joking?” Namjoon’s frown just deepens and he shakes his head. 

 

How could he not know? Seokjin literally just spelled it out for him.

 

“Take a wild guess, Namjoon,” he says with a dull look and Namjoon shrugs. 

 

“Gavin?” Namjoon tries and Seokjin’s mouth drops open. He cannot be this dense. Namjoon’s IQ level is probably taking a hike because - what the fuck ?

 

“Who the fuck is Gavin?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“He had a mullet and smoked in the b-”

 

“Hyung!” Tae screams from the little circle they’ve formed on the floor. Seokjin counts his blessings and breaks away from Namjoon to walk towards the circle.

 

Namjoon follows him and that’s how the rest of the night goes by. Blurring lights and a lot of dancing. Seokjin feels Namjoon’s hands on his torso at random intervals and Hoseok is doing body shots from Yoongi’s belly button while the entire restaurant cheers him on. Seokjin laughs hard and Jimin falls on the floor when Hoseok tries to suck the lemon from Yoongi’s mouth. 

 

Hoseok leans in a little too deeply and Yoongi has his hands at the back of his neck. Jeongguk’s eyes are wide with an astonished smile and he can hear Namjoon guffaw beside him.

 

Seokjin wonders where the lemon peel is. 

 

Small bits of Namjoon being approached by a woman in a green shirt and him saddling closer to Seokjin. 

 

Jimin and Jeongguk jumping on the bar to give everyone a strip show. Yoongi is flicking his pocket change at them while Taehyung is in hysterics. Later on, Hoseok comes back with a hickey that no one can explain and Yoongi’s face is red. He pulls out a box of Marlboros and looks irritated with everything in sight. Namjoon takes multiple shots with him and Seokjin is happy. Just plain happy. 

 

They’re outside now and Hoseok is leaning heavily on Yoongi telling everyone that he loves big butts and he cannot lie, “Yah! We know you love big butts, now drink,” Yoongi is trying to get him to drink from a water bottle but keeps missing his mouth completely. Seokjin is giggling with his head resting on Namjoon’s shoulder. 

 

Jimin is hanging off Jeongguk’s shoulder, completely dead to the world, and Tae is also snuggled into his neck as they wait for their cab to arrive. They’ve decided that Yoongi will take Hoseok back to his place and Seokjin will go to Namjoon’s to pick up his car. 

 

Namjoon is quiet on their way back to the house but Seokjin doesn’t pay it any mind because he is warm and Seokjin is tapered to his side. Namjoon has his hand rubbing small circles on his arm as they get closer. 

 

Seokjin stumbles out of the car and Namjoon is giggling as he catches his shirt. He pulls him up to face him and the Uber drives away silently. 

 

“I’m drunk,” Seokjin announces proudly and Namjoon grins back. Seokjin thinks he looks pretty under the yellow street lamps. 

 

Namjoon leans in close, “me too,” he whispers and they’re giggling on the street at three o’clock in the fucking morning. 

 

When they make it upstairs Seokjin makes for his keys but Namjoon has other plans, “You’re not driving, Hyung,” Seokjin huffs and circles Namjoon to grab his keys. 

 

“I said you’re not driving!” Namjoon says. 

 

“Namjoon, give me the keys,” Seokjin slurs but holds his hand out and waits patiently. He stumbles a little, trying to stay upright.

 

All the other man does is slip it into his pants pocket and walks to his bathroom to wash his face. 

 

“I’m not sleeping on the couch again! I had back pain this week,” Seokjin whines while following. He sits on the bed and pouts, “Where’s my phone? I’ll call a cab,” he says as he lies back on the bed. Namjoon sits next to him, the bed dipping slightly from his weight. 

 

“We could share?” Namjoon suggests, “it’s late.”

 

“I don’t have any clothes here, Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin sighs to the ceiling, “my toothbrush,” he groans and lifts himself to come in line with Namjoon’s shoulders. 

 

“Wait,” Namjoon jumps off the bed and hurries out of the room. A few moments after, he walks in with a triumphant grin and a brand new, pink toothbrush. 

 

Seokjin drags himself off the bed, grabbing the toothbrush as he makes his way past, “if I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re trying to get me in your bed, Namjoon,” he taps his nose with the toothbrush.

 

“I thought it’d be harder, since you hate me and all,” Namjoon replies smugly.

 

Seokjin’s stomach turns and he can feel the smile fade off his face. How could he hate Namjoon who gave him his dead dad’s book? 

 

What kind of reason is that?

 

Seokjin just turns on his heel and makes his way to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth and when he’s done, he finds Namjoon on the left side of the bed and a shirt and boxers on the footstool. 

 

“Thanks,” he turns around and slips off his clothes. Namjoon probably isn’t paying him any mind, so deeply engrossed in whatever is on his phone. 

 

“You never grew into your shoulders,” Seokjin spins to find Namjoon laughing softly with his hands on his lap.  

 

He sticks his tongue out at the man, “My shoulders are fine,” he slips on Namjoon’s sleeping shirt and crawls on the bed. 

 

“Move up, god, Namjoonie - I need my space,” Namjoon doesn’t budge and he watches Seokjin as he slips under the covers with no grace. 

 

“I’m literally on the edge!” he sighs, “We’re gonna be fucked tomorrow,” Namjoon mutters and presses something at his bedside. Darkness floods the room and Seokjin relaxes a bit more. 

 

“Hey,” Namjoon whispers. 

 

“Mmmm,” Seokjin cracks his eye open to look. There’s a soft light shining on Namjoon’s face from the drawn curtains. 

 

Seokjin can see his warm, brown eyes and the soft curve of his cheek. The colours are muted but he looks pretty as he blinks slowly. 

 

“You think cows can swim?” Seokjin groans and turns over. 

 

“ Sleep , Namjoon,” 

 

It’s quiet for approximately ten seconds before Seokjin flips over and tries to find his phone. He finds it under his pillow and quickly opens up the browser. 

 

He is drunk so it takes a while before he can actually press search. 

 

“Are you looking it up?” Namjoon chuckles and moves onto Seokjin’s pillow. Namjoon smells like toothpaste and well, Namjoon. 

 

“Holy shit! They can ,” Namjoon sounds like a child on Christmas morning. Seokjin laughs and locks his phone. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t move. He closes his eyes when,

 

“Hyung?“ What now? 

 

“Namjoonie?” Seokjin replies. 

 

“Thanks for inviting me tonight. I like your friends,” Seokjin smiles. 

 

“They all are kinda in love with you,” Seokjin laughs, “especially Jeongguk - he was staring at you,”

 

“Not Jimin, which is weird-“ he continues.

 

“Oh shit, I forgot to tell you-“ 

 

Seokjin turns his head and because Namjoon hasn’t moved his head, he brushes his nose on the other man’s cheek, “What?” 

 

“I actually met Jimin earlier this year,” Seokjin frowns at this. 

 

“I was on a date and he was in the bathroom when I went ‘cause I dropped a glass of wine on my shirt-“ Seokjin lifts himself up on his elbow. 

 

“Holy shit, no wonder he was being weird,” he collapses on the pillow again. 

 

“Yeah, he helped me clean my pants and wished me luck,” Namjoon huffs. 

 

“Did you tell him you were on a date?” Seokjin frowns. It could be detrimental. 

 

“No, but I think he saw me,” Namjoon wiggles a little by his side. 

 

“You cheatin’ on me, Namjoonie?” Namjoon turns his head and their noses meet. Seokjin grins, his eyes drooping with the weight of the night. 

 

Namjoon smiles at him and it looks endearing and soft and Seokjin thinks his heart momentarily stills to focus on it, “Never,” 

 

Then, Seokjin remembers the comment he made earlier. And because it’s the early hours of the morning. The sun is asleep and the moon nodding off, Seokjin breathes in the silence, “Namjoon?” 

 

No one is listening.

 

“Seokjin?” 

 

“I could never hate you.”

Chapter 8: In Which Namjoon Hates Dishcloths

Notes:

i have to post the next two chapters together cause they were too long together

Side note about Yoon-suh:
I adapted the way she speaks to the way my aunt's speak. So the grammar and the words are all muddled up, but I find that a lot of people who live in countries (that don't necessarily speak their mother-tongue), we kind of adapt to our own language structures.

 

i wanna make a playlist for this fic but idk where to start - any suggestions?

Seokjin wakes to the phone ringing incessantly. 

 

It’s not his phone because his Mario Kart theme would have jolted him. It sounds like Namjoon’s phone.

 

Wait. 

 

He slept over last night. Seokjin cracks open an eye and the light in the room is far too bright for any sane person. 

 

“Joon-ah,” he groans. He is met with a low moan and Namjoon is much closer than he’d anticipated.

 

Suddenly, the arm around his waist and under his head become very apparent.

 

“Namjoon,” he tries louder this time. 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon sounds more lucid. 

 

“Your phone,” 

 

Suddenly, Seokjin’s makeshift pillow is swiped from him and Namjoon is scrambling, “Shit, what time is it?”

 

Seokjin frowns, the pressure in his head tapping against his skull, “You need to be somewhere?” 

 

“Hey, ma!” He answers the phone, “yeah I know, we just had a late night,” 

 

“- yes with him,” 

 

“- he’s here, why?” Namjoon pulls the phone from his ear and hands it to Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head and mouths “NO” while burrowing further under the pillow. 

 

“Hello?” Seokjin hears the speaker. He sighs and takes the phone. 

 

“Ajumma!” He tries his best to sound cheery. 

 

“Jinnie! Awww, my sweet-face!” Namjoon’s mother wakes him up a bit further and his chest feels warm. 

 

“Where y’all went last night? Joon said you had a late night?” She asks, not beating around the bush. 

 

“Ahh, we met up with some friends and had a little to drink,” understatement- he feels like he’s been run over by a truck. 

 

“Ohh! You’re coming for dinner, yah? I’ll make peach cake!” She sounds excited and Seokjin doesn’t want to disappoint her. 

 

He looks to Namjoon for help. The fucker just shrugs, “if you don’t mind,” 

 

“What ‘mind’? Get over here, I miss my babies!” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“ Okay , if Namjoon doesn’t mind?” 

 

“I don’t,” he gives Seokjin a reassuring smile. 

 

“Okay, let me go put the oven on so long, I’ll see y’all now,” her voice rings over the line before it goes dead. 

 

Seokjin looks at the blank screen as he hands it to Namjoon. 

 

“You know, you don’t have to come if you don’t want,” 

 

“I want to, I just -“ Seokjin breathes deeply, “I don’t want to impose,” he covers his eyes with his hand. 

 

God, when did he start feeling guilty about inconveniencing Namjoon? 

 

There’s a hand tugging his arm away from his face, “She’ll be really excited to see you,” Namjoon adds, almost… hopefully? 

 

“I need to go home and take a shower,” he whines, the headache he’d been distracted from coming back to haunt him. 

 

“I’ve got a shower, clothes, and lotion, you need heel balm?” Seokjin laughs and Namjoon’s dimples make a genuine appearance. It reminds him of -

 

Wait. 

 

Namjoon almost kissed him last night. 

 

He was drunk, but that isn’t something you can just push aside. 

 

What the fuck.

 

Wait wait wait. 

 

Maybe Seokjin is making things up, he drank a lot last night. Namjoon is straight, why would he try to kiss him? 

 

Seokjin hasn’t had anyone touch him so much in recent years, so maybe he is being irrational. 

 

Shouldn’t it be easier? Knowing he’s straight? 

 

There’ll be consequences .

 

Seokjin didn’t imagine that. Namjoon had said it. 

 

Almost like he was flirting. 

 

But he wasn’t, teasing maybe. Perhaps Seokjin was the forbidden gay fruit that was a bit too tempting. 

 

Or maybe he was implying that he was going to murder Seokjin and - 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon pulls him out of his head and he sees a frown. 

 

“You okay?“ 

 

Seokjin nods, “just thinking,” 

 

“Okay, while you think, I’m gonna go shower and you can pick some clothes?“ 

 

Oh. Right. 

 

He’s fucking using his fake straight-boyfriend’s shower. To get clean. So they can go have a late lunch with his mom. 

 

What the fuck has Seokjin come to? 

 

While Namjoon is in the shower, Seokjin runs through his messages and finds one from Jimin that is complete gibberish and one from Yoongi telling Seokjin that they arrived home safely last night. 

 

He texts Yoongi, telling them that he’ll be busy for the day. Not that the fucking hermit was jumping to make plans with him but he tries. 

 

A few minutes of mindless scrolling and reading through his emails, Yoongi texts him back. It’s a winky-emoji. Seokjin sighs. It’s not like that. 

 

Yoongi knows that, he doesn’t know why he and Hoseok are so hell-bent on teasing him when they know the situation. He and Namjoon are being civil so they can reach a goal. When this is all done with, they’ll get a pretty little divorce and Namjoon get’s fifty-one percent of the shares when his father retires and Seokjin can do what the fuck he wants without his father breathing down his neck. Namjoon can find a nice lady and have two and a half kids, a dog, a white picket fence and an apple pie life. 

 

Or whatever he wants. 

 

Sure, ideally, Seokjin would love to fall in love and have a family of his own. The romantics seem attractive, but Seokjin knows first-hand how people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. Hoseok had mentioned his last relationship and Seokjin outright flinched. 

 

Chan was a gorgeous partner. His family visited Boston on a business trip, scaping out the city and networking. Seokjin had a little affair with Chan, unbeknownst to their families and once the clock ran out - Chan had to go back. 

 

Seokjin was heartbroken . He had wanted to make things official and try long distance until they found a way. Chan’s father had found out and by god - that was horrible. 

 

He’d been called names and slurs for his race and sexuality throughout his life but what stung - what had burnt him to the very core - was how Chan had stood there. 

 

Absorbing everything his father had to say about him being a demon influencing his upright son and nodding along. 

 

God… Seokjin had locked himself in and hadn’t planned to come out unless it was in a body bag. Yoongi fucked up his shoulder because he’d rammed himself into Seokjin’s bedroom door. 

 

He had a long talk with his therapist, and after some in-depth talk about Hannah and everything else, he finally convinced her that he did not want to kill himself. 

 

Hah . 

 

“Done!” Namjoon waltzes in with a towel wrapped around his waist, barefoot, hair dripping down on his bare-

 

Tattoo. 

 

Namjoon has a tattoo and Namjoon doesn’t have any fucking clothes on. 

 

“Can you put on a damn shirt?” Seokjin throws the covers over his face. 

 

“I would, but then you’d miss out on all of this,” Namjoon laughs. Seokjin lifts his head to glare at the other man who currently has fucking boxer briefs in is hand. 

 

He shoots out of bed and makes a straight line for the bathroom. Namjoon is cackling, “Check in the cupboard for towels!” FUCK. 

 

He didn’t even have underwear on. 

 

What the fuck. 

 

How dare he? First off, it’s one thing to flirt with your friends. Seokjin throws terrible remarks at Yoongi like he gets paid for it. 

 

But Namjoon? 

 

They’re not like that. Maybe that’s why it’s okay? Because they’re being a little more friendly with each other.

 

No nononono. It’s different and just because he can’t justify it - doesn’t mean it isn’t different. 

 

But what if he’s making it different in his head? 

 

He is. He knows he is. Because Namjoon is straight, there is no other reason that Namjoon would be flirting with him unless he was fucking with Seokjin. 

 

Fucking straight men and their stupid egos.

 

Seokjin brushes his teeth with his new toothbrush and leaves it in the little cup where Namjoon’s blue one is sitting. 

 

Fine , he thinks, if Namjoon wants to fuck with me, I can play the same game . 

 

When he gets out of the shower, he looks into the misted mirror before making a quick decision. He can worry about how he feels about his body another time. He tucks his towel around his waist and tugs on it to make sure it’s secure and he walks out and into the bedroom. He smells like Namjoon’s body wash and Seokjin knows his skin is slightly red from the shower. 

 

Namjoon is sitting on the bed, tapping away at his phone, “You can choose what you want. Do you wan-” Seokjin smiles as Namjoon lifts his head. 

 

“Do I want what?” Seokjin hooks a finger in his towel. 

 

“Coffee,” Namjoon’s cheeks are turning rosy, and his neck is already bright with embarrassment. 

 

Seokjin walks to his old armoire, and pulls out a random sleeve. He smiles coyly and he can see Namjoon’s Adam's apple bob in his neck, “You know how I like it, right?,” and winks at Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon stands suddenly and runs out of the room. Seokjin laughs quietly and turns to the clothes. 

 

Namjoon’s water pressure is infinitely better than his own apartment and he feels vaguely more like a human. The pressure in his head has eased some and he thinks a glass of water would fix him up well. Or coffee. 

 

But Namjoon doesn’t fucking keep coffee in his kitchen. 

 

He picks a floral shirt and a pair of jeans, he thinks he’ll wear the sneakers he wore last night. It also looks like he’s going commando because his underwear is in the dirty pile on Namjoon’s footstool. He looks for the pile and finds the footstool empty. Did Namjoon put his dirty clothes in his laundry? That’s… strange. Seokjin doesn’t know how to feel about it.

 

He gets dressed and uses some of the lotion Namjoon left on the vanity table. He picks up a bottle and opens it. It smells like Namjoon, but not entirely. 

 

It smells like dark chocolate and spices, Seokjin inhales once more before turning the head to spray it on his neck. He hums at the heady scent and thinks he should buy a bottle for himself.

 

 He needs socks, so he opens up a drawer in the armoire and freezes. He sticks his hands in to make sure he’s seeing right. 

 

He lifts up a wine coloured lace-panty and looks down to the drawer. There are several other lace pieces in the drawer and Seokjin suddenly feels like he’s intruding. 

 

He drops the panty back in the drawer and shuts it, heart beating rapidly. If Namjoon has a girlfriend, he should have told Seokjin. God, he feels like a grade-A asshole. 

 

He finds the socks in the second drawer and slips them on fast and exits the room. 

 

Namjoon sipping from his mug at the kitchen counter. He lifts his brows at the sight of Seokjin and slides a mug towards him. 

 

“I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend,” Namjoon sputters and chokes on his coffee. 

 

“What? No - I told you I didn’t!” Namjoon defends. Seokjin frowns. 

 

“No, you said that it was moot if you did have one,”

 

“Well, I don’t have a girlfriend, Jin,” He rubs his chest and Seokjin frowns. Why would he have panties in his cupboard? Maybe it’s an ex’s and Namjoon forgot to throw them out. 

 

Yeah, probably. 

 

“Why?” Namjoon asks suddenly and Seokjin’s neck feels hotter. He hopes Namjoon doesn’t notice.

 

“No reason,” His voice is high and Namjoon looks at him like he doesn’t believe him. Seokjin just lifts his mug and drains it. 

 

Then, “I thought you didn’t have coffee,” Seokjin remembers the first time he came here. 

 

Namjoon shrugs and scratches his neck. 

 

Then it clicks. 

 

“Awwww, Namjoon-ah! You bought coffee for me?”  

 

“No! Yoongi also drinks it like it’s going out of fashion and he came over last week, so,” he coughs into his fist, “you know,” Seokjin keeps a smile trained on his face and Namjoon looks away.

 

“Stop,” he whines and Seokjin grins wider. 

 

“Such a thoughtful boyfriend!” Seokjin reaches forward to pinch Namjoon’s cheek. Namjoon bats his hands away. 

 

“We need to leave,” Namjoon tries. Seokjin stops trying to harass Namjoon and takes their mugs to the sink. He pulls the teabag from Namjoon’s mug and drops it in the trash. 

 

When he’s done, Namjoon lifts his keys and Seokjin shakes his head, “Come on, we can take my car,” Namjoon frowns but doesn’t fight him on it. Namjoon runs to his room and comes back with their phones and Seokjin’s keys. 

 

Oh, right. 

 

Namjoon didn’t want him driving home last night. 

 

Namjoon locks up the house and when they get to the car, Seokjin walks to the passenger side and throws the keys to the other man. It hits Namjoon in the chest and falls straight to the floor, Namjoon scrambles to pick them up. 

 

“I’m tired,” Namjoon rolls his eyes at him, “just don’t kill me,” Seokjin tells him and jumps into the car. It’s odd, he usually sits in the driver’s seat. 

 

But Namjoon has been driving them to and from the cafe the whole week, and Seokjin is nothing if not a greedy motherfucker. He wants to see Namjoon drive. 

 

He deserves some eye-candy. 

 

“Seatbelt,” Namjoon says once he starts the car. Seokjin rolls his eyes and clicks his seatbelt into place. 

 

Seokjin connects his phone to the car’s bluetooth and Namjoon gets them out of the little parking spot on the road. The music is soft and Seokjin’s eyes flutter closed briefly.

 

“Hey! No sleeping!” Namjoon slaps his hand on Seokjin’s thigh. 

 

“I’m tired , Namjoon,” Seokjin whines but stays alert for the rest of the drive. 

 

When they start exiting the city, the countryside becomes greener and he opens his window to let the crisp air hit him in the face. He smiles and Namjoon snickers beside him. 

 

“What?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Remember how we used to stick our heads like that? And the wind would be so cold and you’d just-” Seokjin cuts Namjoon off with a  faux-stutter breath, “Like that!” His eyes are overtaken by his cheeks and Seokjin’s breath stutters for another reason. 

 

Namjoon sort of looks beautiful, rolled up sleeves, the seemingly endless fields passing behind him, his dimples that still catch the light despite the clouds in the sky. 

 

“I like you driving,” Seokjin blurts out and immediately scrambles for purchase, “‘cause, y’know, I’m tired,” he coughs and Namjoon smiles softly at him. Seokjin looks away before he can get caught. 

 

He sticks his arm out of the window and curves it until the wind takes over and starts to move his hand. He feels like he’s made of magic and he laughs as Namjoon steps on the gas and the winds fly a little harder and the music feels like he’s in a movie. 

 

A song comes on, it’s one he knows Yoongi’s company produced. It fits the moment and even though he’d loved it before, Seokjin thinks it fits the moment like a glove. 

 

“You like this song?” Namjoon asks out of the blue and Seokjin pulls his hand inside and raises his window. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“You like this song?” 

 

Seokjin frowns but answers, “It’s my favourite,” he smiles and lets the chorus surround him in the car. 

 

“I wrote it,” Seokjin’s eyes pop open and he looks at Namjoon in astonishment. 

 

“What?” he asks dumbly. 

 

“Well, I helped write it. Hoseok and Yoongi did most of it,” Seokjin’s mouth drops open and Namjoon laughs. 

 

“What?” It’s Namjoon’s turn to ask. 

 

“I -” Seokjin thinks about how many times he turned it on just to feel the sweet embrace of the lyrics and for the music to sweep him away, “I didn’t know,” is all he says. 

 

He thinks for a while, sitting quietly and staring out the windscreen. When a few songs pass, Seokjin decides to ask, “What was your inspiration?” Namjoon’s neck spins and the car swerves slightly on the empty road. 

 

“God! Eyes on the road, Namjoon-ah! Ten and two! Ten and two!,” He shouts and Namjoon is muttering ‘okay’ under his breath. 

 

Seokjin bursts out laughing and Namjoon soon follows and the tension dispels itself from the car. 

 

Once a calm enters and the car is quiet save for the radio and the sound of wheels on the road, Namjoon begins, “I actually wrote that a few years before we recorded it,” 

 

“I thought you said it was a team effort?” 

 

“Well, yeah. Yoongi and Hoseok polished it up and we sold it to one of the artists he has signed,” he shrugs. 

 

“I like it,” Seokjin says, “the song, I mean.” Namjoon smiles at him. 

 

“What inspired it?” he tries again. Namjoon’s eyes quickly drift to him before looking back to the road. 

 

“I guess I fell in love and,” he pauses, “it was actually really depressing, the way I intended it to be sung,” he laughs quietly. 

 

“Who’d you fall in love with?” The car swerves slightly and Seokjin presses on the air brakes. 

 

“Christ! Did you buy your licence!?” Namjoon smiles sheepishly at him.

 

“Well?” Seokjin presses and Namjoon sighs. 

 

“It’s not like you told me who you had a crush on in school!” Namjoon diverts. 

 

Seokjin freezes. What the fuck? “This is not about me!” And honestly, he’s surprised that Namjoon remembers.

 

“Fine, then tell me who your crush was and then I’ll tell you mine,” Namjoon tries to bargain. All it does is make Seokjin chuckle, 

 

“Show me yours and I’ll show you mine?” Namjoon shoots him a brief dull look. 

 

“What? You don’t wanna see mine?” Seokjin pokes, giggling. 

 

“No, Hyung. No one wants to see yours,” Namjoon sighs as if he’s talking to a child. 

 

Seokjin pouts, “Hey!” he slaps Namjoon’s shoulder, “ Everyone wants to see mine!” and his ears immediately go red. Why is he talking about his fucking dick with Namjoon?

 

“I’m sure,” Namjoon adds sarcastically. It reminds him of Yoongi and Seokjin wonders how much time they’ve actually spent together without him being aware.

 

“You’re just jealous that no one wants to see yours,” he huffs and crosses his arms. 

 

Namjoon just turns his head to him and winks. Seokjin throws a glare when he turns back to the road and cracks open his window a little more. 

 

After fifteen minutes of small talk and trying to convince Namjoon to spill the beans (unsuccessfully), Namjoon turns into a familiar paved driveway. Seokjin holds his breath as his memories come flooding in. 

 

He looks at the unkempt garden and thinks about running through the sprinklers with Namjoon with water guns. Laughing until his tummy hurt. He spots the old wendy house, dark wood grey and probably rotting and thinks about how often he and Namjoon would sneak outside to “ghost hunt” and a fond smile works its way onto his face. 

 

Namjoon parks the car in front of the house and the door bursts open and Namjoon’s mom comes running out with an apron tied around her waist. They jump out of the car and she makes a straight line towards Seokjin. He welcomes her tight hug and she’s so tiny now, fitting perfectly on his chest and Seokjin feels… he can’t put his finger on it but he closes his eyes and allows the feeling of being at home to wash over him. Even the air smells the same, with soft scents of roses from the garden swirling around them. 

 

“I missed you too, Ajumma,” he laughs and it sounds kind of wet. She pulls back and immediately smacks him in the chest. 

 

“How dare you!” She scolds him and Seokjin looks at Namjoon for help. He has a soft smile on his face which is absolutely no help.

 

“What did I do?!” he defends. 

 

“Seokjin, you are a nonsense! You don’t even come visit once!” She speaks fast and Seokjin grins down at her. 

 

She grabs his face and pulls him down to inspect, “You not eating, boy?” 

 

Namjoon finally intervenes, “Ma, stop! You didn’t even say hi,” 

 

“Look at him, he’s so thin, Joon-ah,” she tells her son, “why you not feeding him?” Seokjin barks out a laugh. 

 

“He lets me starve, Ajumma!” Namjoon rolls his eyes and starts walking to the main building. 

 

She loops her arm with his own and pats his hand as they follow Namjoon, “It’s good to see you, Jinnie,” she looks up and it's a punch to his stomach. She looks genuinely happy to see him and Seokjin feels guilt wrack him, so he looks away. 

 

“How have you been?” she asks once they enter the house. 

 

“Good,” he answers shortly, “and you?” He smiles but he knows it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

 

“Ah, I get lonely, Jinnie! My son doesn’t even come to visit me anymore,” she sniffs and smiles at Seokjin. He forgot how sly the old fox was, always sharp and ready to laugh. 

 

She has a tray on the old dining room table. It’s an old farmhouse, creakier now that the years have passed by but still warm and so steady. Seokjin can feel the heat slink into his bones.

 

“I made hot chocolate, come,” she ushers them to the table. Namjoon is nowhere in sight and Seokjin frowns, “he’ll come down soon, I think he went to the bathroom,” she tells him. 

 

“I’m so happy for y’all!” she tells him as she pours from a tall teapot. The scent hits him and Seokjin remembers how she taught him how to cook and bake and make fucking hot chocolate. 

 

He thanks her for the steaming mug and he sips it, not knowing where the drink was going because his stomach feels like it's somewhere under his chair. She even got him a little flamingo apron when she saw how much Seokjin enjoyed tailing her in the kitchen. 

 

Fuck me .

 

She chatters about the weather and Seokjin just nods and smiles until Namjoon comes back downstairs. 

 

“You know, I’ve been waiting for this day,” she says with a dreamy smile on her face. Namjoon chokes on his hot chocolate and Seokjin’s mug freezes en route to his mouth. 

 

“What?” Namjoon manages. 

 

“We all knew you guys were going to end up together, even your father couldn’t deny it when y’all were small,” she points at Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin wants to fucking leave . Because WHAT THE FUCK ?

 

Namjoon throws a glance at him and looks back at his mug. What the fuck are they supposed to say to that? They can’t deny it because they’re in too deep. Their fucking families are getting involved and just- 

 

“I didn’t know it’d take this long. God, I’m getting old, I need grandbabies,” Seokjin swears he passes out for a few seconds. Namjoon on the other hand, his eyes are wide and looking everywhere except Seokjin and his mom. 

 

“Mom! It’s a little bit too early to be talking about that!” Namjoon laughs nervously. 

 

His mother shrugs him off and rolls her eyes, “He didn’t even want to talk to me last week,” she tells Seokjin, “I don’t know what he’s acting shy for, I cleaned his sheets when he had his first we-”

 

“MA!” Namjoon shouts over her and Seokjin is already laughing. 

 

“ Namjoon , I’m not under any illusions that you two don’t sleep together,” 

 

“Ajummaaaaaa!” Seokjin whines and ducks his head. God, his face feels like it's on fire. 

 

“Don’t act like you haven’t seen my son’s-” 

 

“ MOM ,” she just laughs and rolls her eyes. 

 

“Fine, whatever! Y’all act like I didn’t catch y’all drooling over Lara Craft,” she tells them and Namjoon breaks his serious facade to laugh. 

 

“ Croft ,” he corrects and Seokjin smiles at the both of them. 

 

“Yah, so I never ended up baking the cake, but I do have the things,” she looks at Seokjin suggestively and he smiles broadly. 

 

“You don’t have to-“ Namjoon begins but Seokjin cuts him off. 

 

“Still got my apron?” He asks, already waking up. She nods enthusiastically and Namjoon follows them into the kitchen. She pulls open a cupboard but Seokjin is floored and too busy to notice. The kitchen is the exact same, the island still sturdy with Namjoon’s chicken scratches from when he tried to carve in his name. A small chip on the edge from where they thought it’d be a good idea to climb on the ladder to steal the chocolate from the cupboards (Namjoon fell and the ladder nicked the counter). And the thing that strikes him the most is the way it smells the same. 

 

Yoon-suh easily fell apart of the circle Seokjin referred to as family. Namjoonie was his best friend through and through. He spent most of his youth in this beautiful house once Namjoon had offered him a christmas beetle on the playground. Seokjin never considered his father being so involved so as to talk to Yoon-suh about him and Namjoon. He assumed his father knew them both in passing but didn’t care enough. 

 

But Yoon-suh said that even his father couldn’t deny their ‘connection’. Whatever the fuck that means. 

 

However, if Seokjin thinks about it… his father did hire Namjoon. Why would he let a rookie business major, fresh from university, step into his building without knowing that he would be useful? He must know Namjoon and Yoon-suh to some deeper extent. 

 

Yoon-suh chucks the apron to him and tells him that she needs to make a call, “You know how Junghwa can talk, let me go phone her. She’s been worrying me one way,” she leaves Namjoon and Seokjin in the kitchen alone. 

 

“You need help?” Namjoon asks as he points to the pink apron in his hands. Seokjin just nods, throat feeling awfully dry. Namjoon takes it from him and loops it around his neck before spinning him around to tie it around his waist. 

 

When he’s done, he tugs on the string and Seokjin turns to meet his gaze. Heart still heavy with the thought of what they’re actually doing, he pastes a smile on his face, “Ready to bake?” Namjoon’s eyes grow comically wide. 

 

“Come on, you can’t be that bad,”

 

Seokjin should really learn to keep his mouth shut. 

 

He’s folding in the coconut flakes into the batter and he’d given Namjoon the simple task of separating the canned peaches from the syrup. 

 

How the fucking stove caught on fire is fucking mystery, “What the fuck! What the fuck!” He starts hitting the flames with the oven mitt and Namjoon is scrambling behind him. 

 

“ Fuck fuck fuck shit fuck Jesus ,” is all Seokjin can really get out because now the oven mitt is aflame and -

 

“ WHAT THE FUCK!? ” He screeches as freezing cold water hits him and he turns to Namjoon holding a red dish. He smiles nervously at Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin bursts out laughing. 

 

Honestly, what else is he supposed to do? He turns to the stove and picks up what looks like a dishcloth and it crunches. At the sound he looks at Namjoon and they crack up. 

 

“How the hell did you -”

 

“I didn’t know the stove was on! I -” he wheezes, “I threw the dishcloth on it.” 

 

They’re still giggling, Seokjin bent over the counter and clutching his stomach, when Yoon-suh walks in. 

 

She looks at the stove and her mouth pops open. Before Seokjin or Namjoon could explain, she lifts a finger and points to the phone next to her ear. 

 

“I don’t want to know,” She turns on her heel and Seokjin looks at Namjoon and that’s all it takes for them to crumble again. 

 

When their laughs die down, Seokjin stands up and looks at the stove. “I’m soaking,” he looks down to his clothes.

 

“Sorry,” Namjoon comes to stand in front of him, he touches Seokjin’s shoulder, “I’ve got some sweaters upstairs?” Seokjin shakes his head and walks to the batter. 

 

“Did you atleast get the peach slices done?” Namjoon nods enthusiastically and grabs the bowl next to the charred stove, “I’ll change when we’re done.”

 

“Wanna fold the rest of the coconut in? I’m gonna try and salvage the stove,” Seokjin hands Namjoon the rubber paddle, praying to every god he can think of. 

 

It’s silent when Seokjin turns to the stove and he feels anxious to leave Namjoon unguarded in the kitchen. He turns around and finds the idiot fucking mixing the batter. 

 

“ Fold ! I said fold !” Namjoon frowns and stops moving. 

 

“How am I supposed to fold batter?” Seokjin moves before he thinks. 

 

He comes to stand behind Namjoon, slightly on his toes because his shoulders are higher. He grips Namjoon’s hand (the one with the paddle) and uses his hand to fold in the coconut flakes he poured in. 

 

“Oh,” Namjoon says softly and Seokjin feels him relax slightly against his chest. 

 

“Pour in a little more,” he instructs and Namjoon picks the bag with a shaky hand and shakes it over the dough, “mmh, enough,” and he starts folding in the coconut with Namjoon’s hand. 

 

“ Relax , the batter isn’t going to attack you,” and Namjoon’s hand eases its steel grip slightly.  

 

“Yeah, just like th-” the words halt in his mouth as Namjoon turns his head to him. Their noses are a hair’s breadth away from each other. 

It’s a moment, Seokjin knows it logically, but he feels his heart leap in his chest as Namjoon’s warm eyes take him in and everything feels so still.

 

Unfortunately, Seokjin doesn’t register Namjoon’s other hand moving (even though he really should have felt where it brushed against where he had his hand resting on Namjoon’s waist). Suddenly there’s a glob of batter on Seokjin’s nose and he scrunches his face up. 

 

Instead of backing away, he pushes Namjoon into the counter and sticks his hands into the batter and cover’s the other man’s face before he has time to react. 

 

He backs away and runs to put the island between them, laughing like a banshee, “You really ought to be careful with the batter, Namjoon,” he taunts through his laugh. 

 

Namjoon wipes his eyes so he can spot Seokjin and immediately takes off, jumping over the counter. Seokjin screams and moves to run away but there are two, unsurprisingly, strong arms that grab his left hand and jerk him. He crashes into Namjoon’s body and is trying to pull his arm away. 

 

“Let go!” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Namjoon wraps his around Seokjin’s biceps, leaving his hands trapped between their stomachs. Namjoon grins like the evil motherfucker he is.

 

“Don’t you dare -” he tries but Namjoon presses his cheek against Seokjin’s so the batter spreads and Seokjin wriggles hard before giving up. 

 

“Or what?” and Seokjin freezes as Namjoon pulls back. His voice is different. 

 

Different different. 

 

“Looking a little stuck there, Hyung,” he tells Seokjin and he can’t even bring himself to glare at Namjoon because it feels like his heart is having a fucking rave party in his ribcage. 

 

“Or what?” He repeats. Seokjin isn’t drunk and he isn’t imagining Namjoon inching his face closer. 

 

And then it clicks. 

 

Namjoon is fucking with him. 

 

Seokjin’s brain finally catches up and he uses his trapped hands to his advantage.

 

He parts his lips, biting the stray batter on his bottom lip - slowly . He watches Namjoon track the movement and he runs a victory lap in his head. 

 

He lowers his chin and looks up, feeling a smile lift the edge of his lips, “There’ll be consequences, Namjoonie,” he hooks a finger into the other man’s belt loop and tugs as much as his immobile hands can carry. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes darken and Seokjin is close enough to see his pupils dilate in the soft afternoon light. Seokjin’s heart has quieted some, but he can literally feel Namjoon’s chest rise quickly against his own. 

 

“Junghwa, you ever see like this? Look at this! What kind cake y’all baking here?” Like another dish of cold water has been poured over him, Seokjin turns to see Yoon-suh with her hand on her hip and the other holding the phone to her ear. 

 

“How you put the video on, Junghwa?” she says and Namjoon has already released him like Seokjin burnt him. 

 

“No, you must come see here, what like this man - burnt my dishcloth all. You ever did funny funny things like this in your mother’s kitchen?” she asks Junghwa and Namjoon is fiddling with the peaches, so Seokjin joins him in doing absolutely nothing. 

 

“No, no, it was on special last week,” she continues talking on the phone like nothing is out of the ordinary.

 

“Ohhh, where the butter is on special?” Seokjin laughs and he can see Namjoon’s shoulders shaking. 

 

Soon, Yoon-suh’s voice carries out of the kitchen. The last thing Seokjin hears is, “you must tell Bok that he has consequences when he comes home,” Seokjin’s entire neck catches fire and god this is embarrassing. 

 

Namjoon, on the other hand, is in hysterics. 

 

Seokjin shoves his shoulder, 

 

“Shut up and hand me the pan,” Namjoon hands him the baking tin that he greased earlier. He starts to line the peaches in the tray. 

 

It’s twenty minutes of running around, cleaning the stove, clawing down Namjoon’s old bedroom trying to fit into his old varsity sweater and sweatpants. Namjoon is washing his face. Seokjin is sitting on the bed, looking around the familiar room. Posters strewn all over the lilac walls, and then something catches his eye. 

 

On Namjoon’s old desk, there’s a dusty old frame that catches the light. He walks up to it and sees a little collage of pictures in the frame. 

 

Lifting it, he sees that the central picture is of him, Yoon-suh and Namjoon, all grinning brightly into the camera lens. Seokjin thinks this might have been their first play in kindergarten. They both have face paint and oversized t-shirts struggling to stay on their frames. Seokjin is missing his two front teeth but he’s grinning like his life depends on it. Namjoon is hanging on a monkey-bar, sweet round cheeks in bloom as he smiles proudly. 

 

There’s one of Namjoon’s dad tacked in the corner. He’s holding a little baby in his hand and Seokjin only recognises him from the frame Yoon-suh hung in the lounge. 

 

There’s photos of Namjoon’s family, his cousins and aunts and uncles… 

 

Some of them are really just Namjoon and Seokjin, sitting on the couch or standing proudly in front of their haphazardly made treehouse, sleeping. But the thing that almost closes Seokjin’s throat entirely is the two photos on the bottom left corner. 

 

It’s Seokjin’s ID photocard from school and a picture of his mom. He threw his copies out because he thought he looked horrible. He’s wearing his glasses and he looks scrawny. 

 

He flips the frame around and his heart breaks a little. He recognises Namjoon’s horrible writing instantly, “My Family”.

 

“My therapist had me make that,” Seokjin jumps at the sound of Namjoon’s voice. 

 

“God, wear a bell,” Seokjin shouts. He puts the frame down gently and turns to Namjoon. He has a washcloth in his hands, fiddling with it as he walks to sit on the edge of his old bed. 

 

Seokjin follows after and sits on the bed. Instead of handing him the cloth, Namjoon lifts it to his cheek and just before he touches it, he looks at Seokjin for permission. 

 

He nods. He lets Namjoon wipe the crusted batter off his face. His brow is furrowed and he has the same expression when he fixes Seokjin’s tie. 

 

His hands are gentle, as if Seokjin would crack if he pressed down too hard. They were fucking pressed against each other in the kitchen, they’ve kissed in front of their friends but this…

 

Seokjin feels lightheaded but it’s not bad. He knows his heart is beating rapidly in his chest. 

 

He reaches up a hand and pokes Namjoon right where his dimple would be if he smiled. Namjoon’s eyes go wide but he doesn’t stop cleaning his face. 

 

The last of the sun shines it’s light through his eyes and they look almost like molten honey. 

 

“Done,” Namjoon pulls back and Seokjin gets sucker punched in the stomach. 

 

Because… no. He is getting too comfortable here. This is a set-up, they have a mission. 

 

Seokjin can’t afford to get caught up like this. Sure, Namjoon might be attractive and Seokjin may not hate him. 

 

But Namjoon is straight . 

 

And even though the years should have weathered his skin, he doesn’t think he would survive being heartbroken again. Not by the person who showed him what heartbreak was… no. 

 

“Boys?” Yoon-suh calls from downstairs. Seokjin abruptly wakes up, he doesn’t spare a glance at Namjoon as he retreats down the stairs. 

 

Seokjin walks into the dining room and sees multiple dishes laden with food, “I had to warm it in the grill, I don’t know who’s bright idea it was to throw water on the stove,” Seokjin smiles sheepishly.

 

“Sorry,” he hears Namjoon behind him. Seokjin turns to see him rubbing the back of his neck. 

 

Seokjin goes to check on the cake in the oven, when he pulls out the toothpick, it comes out clean. He switches the oven off and pulls the cake out to cool down. 

 

It’s almost dinner time and Seokjin doesn’t feel as hungry as he should. He picks at his food as Yoon-suh fills the air with funny stories. Even Namjoon seems a bit withdrawn. 

 

Yoon-suh sends her son to take care of the dishes but she has Seokjin engrossed in a story. Namjoon passes by them with all their bowls and dishes in hand. 

 

She puts her hand on top of  Seokjin’s, suddenly stopping amidst telling him about the Parisian man she’d met. 

 

“I’m so glad he’s better,” she starts and Seokjin feels like a cat in a bathtub. He sits still. 

 

“You know, after you boys stopped being friends…” she looks down and pulls her lips, “he didn’t want anyone to touch him,” Seokjin frowns. He knows how aunties get with their stories.

 

However, Namjoon seems more than okay with physical affection. Especially when he drinks.

 

“Like physically?” She nods.

 

“I had to take him back to see Leila,” Seokjin tenses slightly, remembering their old psychologist. They were placed under her care after Hannah happened. 

 

Also, why are old women so comfortable bringing up the most traumatic shit like it’s nothing?

 

Maybe if you stay still she’ll forget you’re here. 

 

But I’m curious. 

 

Same, ask more questions. 

 

Isn’t this … wrong? It’s not like I’m dating him. 

 

She doesn’t know that. 

 

You’re right. 

 

Do it for Yoon-suh. 

“But he’s doing so good now,” she smiles, “thank you,” and Seokjin feels like crying. 

 

“It wasn’t me,” it sounds as if he’d swallowed a jar of sand. She nods like she knows it wasn’t him.

 

“He never told me what happened,” she lifts her shoulders, “but I remember him going to his friend’s house that day,” she tells him, “I think it was Hoseok’s birthday party or something?” Seokjin knows what day. 

 

“He came back and locked himself in his room until Monday morning,” she frowns, “I thought… I didn’t know what to do and…” worry passes over her eyes as she relives it. 

 

“Well, I thought he tried to hurt himself,” and Seokjin feels like his body has gone static. 

 

“I thought I’d give him space, but I remember coming to give him a hug… he looked like I hit him,” she squeezes Seokjin’s hand. 

 

What am I supposed to do with this information? 

 

Fuck if I know?

 

“Then, I think it was y’all’s last year in high school? Yah, and he tried-“ she pulls her mouth downwards and Seokjin feels like he knows what she’s going to say. 

 

There’s a long winded pause, and Seokjin wants to be anywhere but here right now. 

 

“I found him in the bedroom,”

 

“I thought he was sleeping, god ,” she laughs but the humour is absent.

 

Seokjin remembers that month that Namjoon had been excused from school. The teachers all spoke around it but they all came to understand that he was in the hospital and getting better. 

 

He doesn’t know what to feel. 

 

He looks at Yoon-suh and he doesn’t know what to even say, “I’m sorry,” he mutters and it’s stupid because…

 

Because he knew .

 

He knew Namjoon had it bad with his panic attacks, he knew Namjoon was in that room with Seokjin. He knew what Hannah did to them. 

 

And he fucking ended everything because Namjoon couldn’t understand that he liked boys. 

 

“I’m just proud of him. And I’m happy you two worked it out, but I’m glad he can function independently now,” Seokjin smiles and looks to the kitchen where Namjoon would be washing the dishes. 

 

Suddenly there’s movement along the wall and both their heads turn to watch a small lizard whizzing up the wall. 

 

“You know he brought home a boy - uh, girl friend in his second year of college? My god,” and suddenly the morose atmosphere lifts and Yoon-suh is back to herself. 

 

Seokjin grins, “What?” 

 

“Ey, this girl was terrible,” she pauses, “Joon! What was that girl’s name you brought from college?” She shouts and Seokjin flinches. 

 

“Charlie?” He shouts back, and Seokjin can hear something clang in the sink. 

 

Yoon-suh shivers at the name, “she brought me one big lizard in a box when she came to visit,” Seokjin is confused. 

 

“So big it was, I don’t know what I must do with one lizard, I told Namjoon to throw that thing outside,” 

 

“An actual lizard?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“A bearded dragon, actually,” Namjoon fills in from the kitchen entrance. His shirt is wet all along the front and he throws a damp cloth over his shoulder. 

 

“What I must do with one dragon? I look like Harry Potter?” Seokjin laughs and Namjoon crosses his arms. 

 

“You didn’t like her?” Seokjin wonders aloud. 

 

“No! I’m glad she broke up with him,” 

 

“Hey!” Namjoon whines, “ They were nice!”

 

“What you complaining for? My Jinnie is too cute for competition,” she pinches Seokjin’s cheek and Namjoon laughs as he comes to sit down. 

 

“ So , your birthday is next month,” Yoon-suh changes the topic again.  

 

Seokjin’s eyebrows go up, of course. 

 

“Mmm,” 

 

“I’m gonna come stay with you for a few days,” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Namjoon only has one bed,” he says.

 

The other man looks at him and shrugs, “You can take the room, the couch is good,” 

 

“Your couch gave me scoliosis,” Seokjin deadpans and Namjoon smiles.

 

Then, “I’ve got a guest room? You can stay with me,” Seokjin suggests, “if you want,” he adds quickly. 

 

Namjoon frowns at Seokjin as if his hospitality isn’t genuine. 

 

“Oooh, yah! Joon, you can stay at Jinnie’s place, right? Then I’ll get to spend time with both of y’all,”  Yoon-suh smiles brightly and Seokjin cringes. He was offering her a place to stay, not Namjoon. He looks at Namjoon and he can see his eyes widen, and his hesitation is obvious. 

 

But they’re supposed to be a couple. A couple who have known each other for literal decades. Staying over each other’s houses would be normal, so he understands the hesitation. 

 

“Of course! He’s over all the time anyway,” Seokjin tries to brush off the comment as casual, but he feels like his skin is inside out.

 

“I got new earphones,” she wriggles her eyebrows and Namjoon groans in disgust. 

 

“Why wo-” Seokjin gets it. They’re a young couple who stay over each other’s houses. They would be having sex often. 

 

“Awww! Jinnie, your ears still get red when you’re embarrassed!” She reaches out a hand and flicks his right ear. 

 

“Ajumma!” he covers both of his ears, “No, they don’t!” she smiles knowingly at him and he sticks his tongue out. 

 

“Yes, they do,” Namjoon counters and Seokjin looks at him in shock. 

 

He points a finger to him, “Shut it!” 

 

Yoon-suh laughs.

Chapter 9: In Which Seokjin Has Some Doubts

Notes:

lmao we're so close my dudes i can feel it in my knees

Oh, and side note about Yoon-suh:
I adapted the way she speaks to the way my aunt's speak. So the grammar and the words are all muddled up, but I find that a lot of people who live in countries (that don't necessarily speak their mother-tongue), we kind of adapt to our own language structures.

Song suggestions?

Love yall!! and thanks for reading <3 I am sending each of you kisses on ur foreheads and tucking u into bed

The music pounds against the floor, rattling the little windows in the basement. There are people everywhere; a couple making out at every peripheral, people dancing in the middle of the damp living space and chatting about.

 

Namjoon is walking around, trying to find a quiet place to sit, just to breathe for a moment. He is at a party, and while he might not usually go to events like this, his best friend, Jin, told him to make an appearance. They haven’t been speaking much lately. Jin has been withdrawing, and while it usually takes him a few days to bounce back - it’s now been a gradual landslide of collecting months. About three years if he’s being honest, Seokjin hasn’t been the same since they’d started high school. 

 

Jin is sixteen and even though they’re in the same grade, Namjoon is two years younger. 

 

Regardless, Seokjin asked him to come out. It must be to reconnect… 

 

Hoseok has already cut the cake and there is the pungent smell of stolen liquor wafting about, and he’s pretty sure the guy on the sofa just lit a joint. 

 

He hasn’t seen Jin yet. His height has not been any sort of help, considering he now towered over the general public, he cannot spot anyone he could latch on to.

 

He fills his cup with a curious pink liquid that sits on the table and wishes he could just go home. He doesn’t want to disappoint Jin and push him further away though…

 

God. This punch is spiked - heavily too. 

 

He gulps it down and downs two more cups before refilling and trying to find a corner to sulk in. 

 

He just wants his best friend back. 

 

Maybe Seokjin sniffed out his stupid feelings and started distancing himself…  but Jin wouldn’t do that. He would confront the situation head on - it’s one of the traits Namjoon admires about his friend. Despite being fearful, Jin always took the leap. It was always an incentive for Namjoon to do the most ridiculous things, but they were older. 

 

He wanders around, greeting people and trying to find Jin but to no avail. The alcohol has started buzzing in his system and he is slightly fuzzy but on edge in this unfamiliar basement. The dim red lights are all blending into the brown and grey, the bodies are pulsing with the music and are slightly distorting in Namjoon’s vision, the air is stale and smokey. 

 

He makes a few trips to the punch table, talking to people he doesn’t know. He thinks he might have told a girl about Jung’s red book but…

 

He needs to breathe or he is going to pass out. He really doesn’t want to pass out on a floor where his shoes stick on every step.

He starts stumbling to find a room, he doesn’t think he can handle stairs right now, but the bathroom door isn’t opening and there’s a terrible dingy closet. 

 

The stairs are cruel but he makes it to the main house with minimal damage, even though the wobbly staircase tried to trip him over. The main house is one-story, so getting around should be easier, but god, it is so fucking dark. Everything looks like a tall shadow and Namjoon really just wants to rest his eyes for five minutes. Isn’t Hoseok's room the first room on the left? The door looks familiar enough, with stickers and a ‘CAUTION!’ sign hanging on it.

 

He struggles to grab ahold of the doorknob, but God must be on his side because suddenly, he is pushing into a warmly lit room. It's really yellow here. His eyes track movement and -

 

“Shitshitshitshitshitshit,” wait, that’s not his voice. 

 

“Jin?” he tries to look for a face but the two bodies on the bed are moving too fast and Namjoon frowns. Why were they sleeping on each other? Maybe they were really tired. 

 

Me too. He sighs...

 

Is that… Yoongi? Were they….. ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT. GOD IS NOT ON HIS SIDE. 

 

“Namjoon! Wait!” Namjoon stumbles into the hallway and hits his back against a cruel wall. That might have been a crack, but God is dead and he needs to leave. 

 

Oh, god, why was Seokjin on top of Yoongi? Fuck fuck fuck fuck- 

 

Seokjin likes boys. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t like me. 

 

Jin doesn’t love me.

 

Someone grabs his shoulder and swings his body around. 

He doesn’t even know where he is but he does know he’s being backed up into a door. The knob at his hip rattles and then he is against the cold tile of the bathroom. 

 

The room is blinding and white and Namjoon struggles to catch his breath, his eyes are struggling to focus and - 

 

And he can’t move. Fuck, he can’t move. He can feel the adrenaline spike in his blood and his head shoots up and he’s looking at Jin. It feels like the air around him can’t get to his lungs and they’re burning from the inside. 

He can’t think about how pretty Jin looks right now because he can’t fucking move and he can’t lift his arms past his elbows and oh fuck -

 

Is he gonna die? 

 

Suddenly, the room is grey and the concrete floors stink with dampness. The room is too big and too small. It’s like the walls are so high and wide, but they’re squeezing his little chest. Everything is so grey. He can’t get scared because she hates it when they cry. His hands are still bound by the ropes, his feet too. They’re wet for some reason and so scratchy. It’s sore. He looks down and it’s Jinnie. 

 

Except Jinnie isn’t lying in his lap, looking up at him. Jin is against a white wall, Namjoon’s forearm is against his neck and Seokjin is straining to get his hands out. 

 

Namjoon stills - what the fuck is happening? He’s breathing heavily against Jin’s chest and his heartbeat is simmering down from pounding against his eardrums. 

 

Why is Jin staring at him like he’s scared? Oh, his arm- 

 

“I’m sorry,” He steps back, letting his arms drop from holding his friend. He had been holding Jin’s hands against his stomach with his other hand.

How did he end up with Jin against the wall? He remembers being pushed up against one. He looks around, trying to understand what just happened, and he thinks Jin is speaking. 

 

He breaks his focus from his hands to look up, “What happened?” Seokjin steps closer and Namjoon takes a step back. The air is thin and he thinks he might pass out. 

 

He can feel the walls of the bathroom pressing against his head. Or that might be his hands. 

 

He thinks it might be his hands because something is pulling them away from his head but it’s tugging on his hair.

 

Oh god, he hurt Jin. He fucking hurt Jin. He wants to touch him and soothe over the fear on his best friend’s face. He can’t, what if he hurts him some more? What just fucking happened? 

 

Because he was in that room. He knows he was. 

 

Why does Jin look like Namjoon just slapped him?

Everything is moving too fucking fast. 

 

“Namjoonie?” and Jin’s voice is shaking and so soft. Namjoon is disgusted with himself. He loves Jin, god, he is so in love with Jin and he just hurt him and he didn’t even know he was doing it. Fuckfuckfuck- 

 

“Namjoonie, please don’t be mad,” Jin is pleading and Namjoon feels disgusted and frightened. How could he hurt Jin? He flinches hard when Jin reaches out to grab him. He retracts the arm with pain in his eyes. 

 

“Namjoon, please,” Jin is speaking to him as if Namjoon is going to bite him, “let me help?” and Namjoon wants to actually bite him, why does he keep asking that? 

 

His body isn’t entirely his own right now, so he doesn’t even know how he responds, but he likely won't bite Seokjin.

 

Is he going insane? 

 

“You’re safe, Namjoonie,” he soothes, “look at me,” and Namjoon really wants to but he just hurt Jin. 

He hurt Jin. 

 

Oh, fuck, he hurt Jin . 

 

She is dead. He is safe. He knows that, but he had never had a panic attack where he became… violent. How is it getting worse? 

 

“You’re panicking,” Jin sounds like he’s speaking with water in his mouth. Or maybe Namjoon is fucking losing it, “I’m okay, I just need you to breathe,” Jin speaks, and his voice is the only thing Namjoon has to hold on to. He feels Jin’s hands sweep through his hair and usually, it would be enough to bring him back to himself.

 

But Jin likes boys. Seokjin doesn’t like him.

 

He feels so tired, he doesn’t want to rationalise right now. He just wants to close his fucking eyes for five seconds. Or forever. 

 

He wants Jin’s hands off of him. They’re burning against his scalp, and right down to his chin. He is cradling his face and looking at Namjoon.

 

“You’re safe, Namjoonie. I pro-”

 

Just then, the bathroom door cracks open and Hoseok’s head pop’s in, “Hey, guys - is everything alright?” Namjoon doesn’t even know how he got on the floor of the bathroom, but he picks himself off the tile and pushes past Hoseok at the door. He needs to go. 

 

He doesn’t fucking love me.

 

He fucking hurt him.

 

He needs to go. 

-------------------------- 

The evening passes Seokjin in a haze of multi-coloured feelings. It’s good - for the most part. 

 

Why he feels guilty, he can’t really say.

 

Well, he can . But it doesn’t mean he will .

 

Namjoon and Yoon-suh both squish him in the middle of a love-seat. Yoon-suh has her albums out, and they’re leaving dust tracks all over Seokjin’s borrowed pants. He finds that he doesn’t mind because he’s laughing at their old photos. 

 

There is one of Seokjin, deep in slumber on the bed - mouth open and drool pooling on the sheets below. Namjoon is cackling, “So cute, Hyung,” he says. 

 

Seokjin throws a dirty look his way before Yoon-suh butts in, “You snore so badly, boy, I don’t think you can talk,” Seokjin bursts out laughing. 

 

“It’s gotten better!” Namjoon tries to defend. 

 

“Who lied to you, Namjoonie?” Seokjin manages to ask. 

 

“You didn’t complain last night!” Seokjin’s mouth drops open and Yoon-suh snorts. 

 

“You- I-” 

 

“What’s that?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin snaps the album closed and raises it to smack Namjoon in his chest.

 

He catches it and Seokjin looks at him and pouts. 

 

“Awww, Hyung,” Namjoon moves forward to grab his cheek but Seokjin smacks it away. 

 

“Why don't you go pour your mother and I some more wine, Namjoon,” He tells the other man. 

 

Namjoon chuckles, “Anything for you, my love ,” he says it so sarcastically that Seokjin rolls his eyes. He lifts himself off the couch and grabs their wine glasses. 

 

He offered to drive when Yoon-suh popped the cork on a really intense red.

 

Namjoon kicks Seokjin’s foot softly as he passes him, “Don’t roll your eyes at me,” 

 

“Or what?” Seokjin purses his lips. 

 

“Yah! Let me go bath before I see any consequences here,” Yoon-suh says all of a sudden. He knows there’s a flush on his neck but he can blame it on the wine. Namjoon walks away like the evil motherfucker he is. 

 

“You’re going to sleep?” Seokjin feels his mood drop, Yoon-suh was such an energetic presence to have around. 

 

“No, I just want to bath before it gets too late,” she wakes up, “I’ll come down now now,” she winks at him and pats his head before walking away.  

 

Namjoon walks into the cozy lounge with two glasses of wine. Seokjin briefly thinks about how domestic this looks, the way the fire is painting the room with yellow hues and Namjoon is bringing him a glass of wine, looking at old family albums. 

Seokjin can easily see Namjoon leaning down to press a kiss on the forehead as he passes him the glass- 

 

Wait WHAT ?

 

No no no no no nonononono

 

That is not what this is. 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon's voice snaps at him like a rubber band, “You okay?” 

 

“Yes! Yeah, of course,” he takes the glass that’s being offered to him. 

 

Namjoon looks at him warily as he sits down.

 

“Is the backdoor unlocked?”

 

“I think s-” but before Namjoon could even reply, Seokjin has his glass on the table and is walking to the kitchen. 

 

“I need some air,” he says and keeps walking. He thinks he hears Namjoon following but he doesn’t stop until he is outside and breathing in the approaching autumn air. 

 

“What’s wrong?” he hears Namjoon ask quietly from behind him. But Seokjin’s mind isn’t anywhere near him, instead, it's in the terribly assembled treehouse in the backyard. 

 

“Holy shit,” he mutters as he walks towards it. He hears Namjoon’s steps follow in the crunchy grass beneath them. 

 

He reaches the base of the tree and pulls on the ratty old rope that looks close to threads, “I don’t think that’s safe-” 

 

“It’s fine!” Seokjin shouts, a big smile on his face as he uses his legs to steer him up. He reaches the entrance and pokes his head in. He grabs the old wood and swings his body onto the floor of the treehouse.

 

“Holy shit,” he looks around and he has to admit, he can’t see a damn thing.

 

Suddenly, Namjoon pokes his head up from the entrance, “I’m gonna get fucking tetanus,” he mutters, heaving himself on the floor. 

 

“No one asked you to come up,” Seokjin says in Namjoon’s general direction. He’s trying to find his phone but he realises his phone is somewhere on the dining room table.

Luckily, his boyfriend is perfectly capable of reading his mind and switches on the torch on his phone. The treehouse is flooded with the yellowish light of Namjoon’s phone and Seokjin cringes. The small space is covered in cobwebs and dust and Seokjin’s borrowed pants are brown where he crawled on the dirty floor. 

 

Namjoon crawls over to where Seokjin is sitting, and moves the light around to look at the space. He sees the water-damaged posters still hanging, some dusty comic books piled in the corner and two moth-eaten bean bag chairs. Seokjin laughs at the space. 

 

When he was younger, this was his safe haven, coming in here to block out the world and sit around and read with his best friend. It’s questionable at best, because when he moves, the floor creaks and he looks back at Namjoon whose eyes are wide. 

 

“I don’t think I drank enough for this,” he tells Namjoon. The other man flashes the light in his eyes, blinding him for a brief moment, “Namjoon!” he yells, turning away. 

 

“What are you doing?” Namjoon asks as Seokjin walks hunched over towards the pile of comic books on the floor. 

 

“Playing cricket, what the fuck does it look like I’m doing?” He pulls an old edition of SpiderMan from the top of the pile. Namjoon mocks him in a high voice but Seokjin ignores him in favour of flipping through the pages.

 

“How much do you think that’d sell for now?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin gasps in mock-outrage. 

 

“These are our childhood treasures, you ass,” 

 

“You forgot they existed until, like, two minutes ago,” Namjoon tells him dryly. 

 

Namjoon moves to sit against one of the beams, “Come here,” Seokjin frowns but doesn’t argue. 

 

He crawls to sit next to Namjoon, “What now?” Namjoon puts the flash off.

 

“Look up,” he points to a little gap in the roof. It’s small but Seokjin can see the stars shining brightly through the thickets of branches.

 

“Are we watching the stars together right now?” Seokjin asks and yeah, sure, the wine might have made his mouth a little looser, but it doesn’t affect the small happy-skip his heart does when Namjoon turns to him and grins.

 

Seokjin lets out a bitter laugh, “This is the most romantic thing I’ve done in my life,” and Namjoon snickers at this.

 

“No one ever take you out on a date?” He asks. 

 

Seokjin huffs, “What? Of course I’ve been on dates,” 

 

They sit there in silence for a bit. They listen to the wind whistle through the small gaps in the architecture and Seokjin shivers when a particularly cold breeze creeps in. He doesn’t pay any mind to the way Namjoon notices and shifts a little closer. 

They don’t have to pretend here. There’s no one watching. 

 

And that’s why Seokjin decides to open his mouth, “The last dude I dated, I didn’t know we were a secret, but we were,” he laughs. 

 

“What?” 

 

“So, dates weren’t really a thing,” he clears his throat. They’d had sex. Seokjin had more than that but he was always stupid. 

 

“His dad found out,” Seokjin shrugs. He shrugs because it’s useless feeling things that don’t even affect him anymore. 

 

“What happened?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“You remember Mr. Bang?” Namjoon frowns, “He was tall and I think he owned a publishing -“ 

 

“Oh! We were supposed to sign a copy-write addendum with them, right?” Namjoon asks. Seokjin smiles awkwardly. 

 

“Yeah,” Seokjin frowns. As much as Seokjin loathes his father, he never brought up the fact that Seokjin cost the company an entire client. He can appreciate that. 

 

He looks at Namjoon, waiting for him to draw the connections and the moment he realises, Seokjin can see the lightbulb go off in his head.  

 

“Bang Chan? You went out with Chan ?” Seokjin frowns

 

“Well, if you could call it that,” he drops his head on Namjoon’s shoulder and tucks his hands between his thighs. 

 

“What? So you slept with him?” Seokjin doesn’t notice how terse Namjoon’s voice has become.

 

“Mmhm,” Seokjin hums. Seokjin leaves out the part about him completely becoming enamoured with Chan.

 

“He was such a fucktruck,” Namjoon says and Seokjin blurts out a laugh and lifts his head, beckoning him to continue, “he was so entitled. I remember when he first walked in, he asked me for an ‘ iced-coffee no sweetener ’,” Namjoon mocks him in a high voice. 

 

“I mean, I don’t even get your father's coffee,” Seokjin laughs quietly at this. 

 

“You made me coffee this morning,” Seokjin points out, shifting his head on Namjoon’s shoulder, “Matter of fact, you bought me coffee,” Namjoon's body moves so Seokjin assumes he’s laughing. 

 

“Glad to feed your addiction,” he tells Seokjin. He lifts his head and punches him in the arm lightly. 

 

“I’m not an addict!” 

 

“Joon?” They turn their heads to Yoon-suh’s voice. 

 

“Here, ma!” Namjoon shouts as he lifts his body off the dirty floor. Seokjin follows after him. 

 

He feels a bit dizzy when he stands up and it’s too dark to see anything other than the entrance, the backyard’s flood light lights the narrow path that Namjoon has already made his way down.

 

Seokjin is not as confident, “Are you waiting for Christmas?” Namjoon asks from the base of the tree. 

 

“Shut up, it’s so dark,” he tells him. Namjoon lifts his arms as if asking Seokjin to jump. 

 

“You’ll catch me?” Seokjin laughs at the absurd man. 

 

“Of course! My shoulder to hip ratio-,” Seokjin cuts him off with a groan. He grabs the rope and tries to lower himself onto the floor. 

 

Key word is tries . Because, suddenly he’s slipping down the rope too fast but instead of hitting the ground, Namjoon’s arms wrap around him so his feet touch the ground softly. 

 

Namjoon looks down at him, “Little rusty there,” he grins. 

 

“Sorry, Namjoon. I don’t spend my weekends climbing ropes,” he shoves him in the chest and walks towards the kitchen. 

 

When he enters the warm kitchen, he spots Yoon-suh cutting the cake and goes over to assist.

 

“Can I help?” Namjoon asks from behind them.

 

“Absolutely not! Go to the lounge,” Yoon-suh shouts besides Seokjin. He turns and smiles at Namjoon. The other man just sticks out his tongue as he exits the kitchen.  

 

“How’s Hoseok and Yoongi-ah? I never see Yoongi for a while,” Seokjin frowns at her. 

 

“They’re good,” then he takes a chance, “When was the last time you saw them?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“Oh, Hoseok came a few weeks ago to help me with Namjoon’s birthday plans,” He pauses. Namjoon’s birthday is about three weeks away. 

 

He was here? Making birthday plans for Namjoon? Just how far does their friendship extend with Namjoon ?

 

“And Yoongi didn’t come?” She pulls her mouth downwards and shakes her head as she stirs in some sugar into the teapot she has on the stove. 

 

“He and Yoongi were supposed to help me plan but he said y’all had to go to one premiere,” Seokjin remembers trying to get Hoseok’s plans out of him. He wouldn’t budge. 

 

“He said y’all have some friends and people that’ll come,” she tells him but Seokjin is stuck on the fact that his friends are close enough with Namjoon that they can come over and plan fucking birthday parties with his mom. 

 

“Did you decide on a place?”

 

“No, Hoseok said he’ll look around,” Seokjin nods at her reply, “but it’s not gonna be so big, just dinner and drinks, I think,” she tells him. 

 

“I think my apartment is big enough,” he offers before he can think about it. She turns to him with a sweet smile and pinches his cheek.

 

“Ajumma!” He whines and holds his offended cheek. 

 

“That’ll be nice, and he won’t suspect anything,” she bites her lip and wags her brows. He laughs at her and pulls the dry mugs from the dish rack. 

 

She grabs a not-burnt dishcloth and picks the teapot up. Seokjin follows after with the three mugs hanging off his fingers. He places them at the table where Namjoon is tapping away at his phone screen, “Yah, get off your phone!” Yoon-suh yells as she takes her spot at the end of the table. 

 

Seokjin runs back to the kitchen and grabs the three saucers with the cakes, managing a successful balancing act; he makes it to the table without any accidents. 

 

Yoon-suh grabs the forks she must have put out earlier and hands them to them. Namjoon digs in immediately, slamming his phone on the table and ignoring the other two people at the table. 

 

“The cake is delicious, Jinnie,” Yoon-suh tells him and sends him a wink. He smiles and looks down to his own saucer, he lifts a bite to his lips and hums in satisfaction.

 

“It is,” Namjoon adds. 

 

“No thanks to you!” Seokjin counters.

 

Namjoon points a menacing fork at Seokjin, “I never said I could bake,” Yoon-suh and Seokjin laugh at this. 

 

“I don’t know how you survive,” Seokjin says and eats some more cake. 

 

“Instant noodles and takeout,” Namjoon tells them with a proud smile and Seokjin can’t help but feel a little endeared. He shakes his head and tucks away a small smile of his own.

 

“What y’all doing this week?” Yoon-suh asks. 

 

Seokjin shrugs when he looks up, “Work, nothin’ much,” he tells her. 

 

“We still haven’t tried the pastry board at the cafe,” Namjoon says and Seokjin smiles. At least he has something to look forward to this week. 

 

“What cafe? I never had pastry boards all,” Yoon-suh asks and Seokjin huffs a small laugh, feeling his energy slowly deplete. 

 

Namjoon picks up the question and tells Yoon-suh about their breakfast dates and how they’re trying to cover the menu. He tries to cover up a yawn but it makes its way out and they both turn to him. 

 

“Pigeon?” Namjoon smiles at him softly and Seokjin shakes his head. He hadn’t realised how much he missed Yoon-suh until he’d seen her bolting out of the front door. He wants to spend time with her. 

 

“Y’all mustn't drive too late! Why y’all don’t come next week?” Yoon-suh asks hopefully. Seokjin feels his gut turn at the way she asks because he’s fucking lying to her face. She doesn’t deserve this. 

 

“We’ll check but, yeah, I’ll probably come around next week,” Namjoon tells her, standing up from the table. Seokjin follows after and feels his body aching in random places. 

 

Yoon-suh sends them off with a container with a few slices of cake and lots of hugs. He blushes when she asks for his number, but punches it into her phone nonetheless. 

 

 Seokjin feels like fucking crying when he jumps into the car.

 

Namjoon doesn’t put the radio on as they navigate out of the driveway and it’s only the sound of gravel crunching against the wheels for a moment. 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon asks. 

 

And apparently wine completely removes his brain-to-mouth filter, because he immediately starts, “I don’t think we should do this,” He cups his hands in his lap. Namjoon looks over at him and swings the car to the side of the road. 

 

He switches the car off and Seokjin hears the engine tick. 

 

“Okay, would you like to explain?” Namjoon finally asks. 

 

“Do you even want the shares? I don’t-,” he breathes deeply, trying to keep his tears at bay, “I didn’t ask you and we’re lying to every- fucking -one,” and it was no use because Seokjin feels his throat close up and the warm tracks of the tears on his face, “fuck, fuck -”

 

He brings his hands up to his face, trying to press down on his face as hard as he can. He hears Namjoon’s seatbelt click and suddenly, Seokjin is being drawn into a hug. It’s a little awkward because of the centre console but he doesn’t care. He lets Namjoon hold him while the tears try to escape him.  

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mutters, feeling a whole host of emotions hit him all at once. Namjoon just shushes him and pets his back. And its fucking stupid because this isn’t Namjoon’s job. They’re not in front of any one, he doesn’t have to pretend to like Seokjin. 

 

He tries to push away from the other man but Namjoon doesn’t have it. He grips Seokjin tighter and whispers sweet-nothings as Seokjin loses his fucking shit. 

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been fucking sobbing into Namjoon’s shoulder like a snotty five-year-old, but he calms down after a bit and exhaustion hits him like a wave. He doesn’t pull away, he just takes a breath and turns his head to breathe a little easier. 

 

“Sorry,” he mutters as he finally lifts his head. Namjoon lets him go this time. 

 

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Seokjin cringes and looks ahead at the dark road.  

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Namjoon offers. 

 

Seokjin sighs and looks at the sky, it’s brighter than it is in the city.

 

“I don’t think we should do this anymore,” he repeats.

 

“Yeah, you said that,”  

 

Seokjin turns to face Namjoon, frustration growing with each passing second, “We’re lying to your mom and my friends - I- I don’t know,” he looks away. 

 

“So you want to back out?” Namjoon asks gently. 

 

Seokjin laughs but it's hollow, “Are you serious? Are you not feeling this - this guilt ?” 

 

Namjoon seems to think about it for a moment, “Well, yes . But we have a goal, right?” 

 

Seokjin nods, “But I just threw it at you,” he takes a shaky breath. 

 

Namjoon nods, ‘Yeah, but I can make my own decisions. I chose to be here, alright?” Seokjin looks at him closely. 

 

“You’re sure?” Namjoon smiles and he doesn’t show his teeth, but it does reach his eyes and it eases Seokjin some. 

 

“But we’re still lying to everyone,” Seokjin leans against the door and knocks his head against the window. 

 

Namjoon hums, “We can come clean once this is all over?” Namjoon offers. 

 

He sighs again and it’s full of defeat. There really wasn’t a choice, was there? 

 

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks after a few quiet moments. The question triggers the frustration he’s been trying to satiate. 

 

“Jin?”

 

“What? Why do- It’s not your fucking job to care if I’m okay,” 

 

“Then who’s job is it? Huh? You fucking deflect all the damn time, you know that? You just fucking broke down and now I’m the asshole for asking if you’re okay?” Namjoon yells.

 

“Just fucking leave it - nothing fucking happened,” Seokjin crosses his arms, face burning in shame. 

 

“So, I’m supposed to fucking ignore what just happened?” Namjoon sounds equally as frustrated, and Seokjin wants to know what the fuck his problem is. 

 

“ It’s not your problem ,” he grounds out through his clenched teeth. Namjoon laughs something so fucking bitter and sarcastic and Seokjin wants to just fucking get out of the car. 

 

Instead of provoking the situation, Namjoon starts the car again and pulls into the lane. It’s dark and Seokjin still feels lost. 

 

The car ride back is much quicker. Seokjin leaves his window wide open so the wind could fill his brain with white noise. Namjoon parks behind his own Prius and Seokjin is still. 

 

Namjoon takes a deep breath and jumps out of the car. Seokjin watches as he circles the car to come to the passenger’s side. Seokjin doesn’t move. 

 

The other man opens the door but Seokjin keeps his eyes trained forward. 

 

“I’m not fighting with you,” his voice sounds low and Seokjin turns his head to see him on his haunches.

 

“Come,” He puts out his hand and tilts his head. Seokjin is tired and he doesn’t feel like fighting either, so he puts his hand in Namjoon’s palm. Namjoon pulls him out of the seat and into a g-force hug. Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to grip the back of his shirt. 

 

He feels the anger pool at his feet and sink into the ground.

 

When Namjoon finally releases him, he grabs the same hand Seokjin offered him earlier. He locks the car and leads them upstairs. Seokjin doesn’t really know how he ended up on Namoon’s couch, watching some lady at a table with her hands raised at him like a surrender on the TV. 

 

It’s when he finally snaps out of his daze that he sees Namjoon walking towards him with two mugs in his hands. He hands one to Seokjin and he looks down into the mug. It’s tea, and when he looks a little closer at the tag, it’s chamomile. 

 

“I need to drive home,” he croaks. Namjoon looks at him and raises an eyebrow, 

 

“No, you don’t need to,” he says and Seokjin doesn’t feel like arguing. He feels like he’s floating in water as he lifts his mug to sip on the tea. 

 

“I added some honey and lemon,” he tells Seokjin softly. 

 

“I need to go home,” he looks at Namjoon. Namjoon just shakes his head and rubs Seokjin’s back as he sips on his own mug. 

 

“I’ll take the couch if you want to be alone, but you also drank,” Seokjin nods, trying his best not to feel trapped. He thinks it’s easier with all these plants around. 

 

“Who’s this?” Seokjin asks and points to the TV, where the lady with the brown hair is still sitting with her eyes closed and hands raised.

 

“Oh, it’s reiki,” Namjoon shrugs and puts his mug down on the coffee table. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Reiki?” 

 

“Energetic healing,” Namjoon wags his brows and it briefly reminds him of Yoon-suh. 

 

“You don’t- uhm, I need to shower,” Namjoon nods a bit too enthusiastically and pulls Seokjin out of the seat. He hastily drops his half-finished tea on the coffee table. 

 

Namjoon pulls him through the apartment and to his bedroom, he makes Seokjin sit on the footstool by his bed and now he’s rummaging through his wardrobe.

His wardrobe. Where Seokjin found his ex’s panties. 

 

He hasn’t asked Namjoon about them but Seokjin could only guess that it was an ex’s. 

 

Straight men could wear lingerie too, he supposes. 

 

He lets the absurd idea of Namjoon wearing that wine coloured panty enter his mind. Seokjin imagines it would look devastating on his darker skin tone, it’d glow under a dim light, reflecting the light sheen of sweat on his skin. And Seokjin could lightly trace the outline of his tattoo -

 

HEY HEY HEY NO

 

NO

 

ABSOLUTELY NOT

 

NO

 

JAIL

 

IMMEDIATELY NO

 

Okay, it’s fine. Namjoon is attractive and I just haven’t seen a dick in a while. 

 

It’s fine! 

 

People have sexual thoughts about their friends all the time!

 

Seokjin tries to imagine Yoongi wearing the lacy panty to even the playing field but he physically cringes and shakes his head to throw the image anywhere but here .  

 

Maybe he put something in the chamomile tea he gave me? 

 

Okay, it’s fine. 

 

I’m fine. 

 

“Found it!” Namjoon pulls out a long piece of dark green material and it upsets the rest of the drawer. Seokjin knows his face is about fifty shades of scarlet, he’s still mentally smacking himself in the head when Namjoon opens the fabric. 

 

It’s a onesie. 

 

A dinosaur onesie, to be specific. 

 

And Seokjin is sitting here, having absolutely impure thoughts about Namjoon and the other man just presented him with a fucking onesie. (Is he going to address it? Absolutely not ).

 

“I usually wear this when I’m having a bad day,” and Seokjin flushes out of embarrassment. Namjoon is mother-henning him because he cried like a big baby. 

 

He laughs weakly, reaching forward to feel the material, “You’re gonna lend me your onesie?” it’s soft between his fingers. 

 

“Mhm,” Namjoon nods and smiles proudly. He suddenly puts a finger up and leaves Seokjin to grab the material before it hits the ground. He pushes around the disarray in his closet before pulling out another, what Seokjin is assuming, onesie. 

 

It's a lighter shade of green than the other one, “We can match,” he lifts his arms and does a little wiggle with the onesie hanging in front of him. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “This is ridiculous,” and Namjoon sticks out his bottom lip like a petulant child. 

 

“No, it’s not! Go shower!” Namjoon chases him out of the room. Seokjin grabs the same towel he used earlier from the hooks behind the door and stalks to the bathroom. 

 

He brushes his teeth and jumps into the shower, allowing the hot steam to turn his muscles into jelly. He scrubs himself down and washes his hair thoroughly, sighing when he rinses the suds off his hair. It’s only when he’s washing his lower regions, he realises he is at half-mast. 

 

He freezes. 

 

He is standing naked in Namjoon’s shower. ( How else are you supposed to stand in the shower? His brain supplies helpfully).

 

And he has a semi.

 

No no no no

 

Dead baby kittens dead baby puppies dog shit dog shit Donald Trump doing a boudoir shoot

 

He shivers at the last thought but he reaches down and sees that it has made absolutely no difference. 

 

Christ on a bike .

 

He just had a mini-breakdown. 

 

Can this not happen now?!

 

He strokes himself once under the hot spray and a low moan escapes him. 

 

Well, what Namjoon doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? 

 

Seokjin fists his growing erection until he’s hard against his hand. Even though it isn’t his proudest moment, he still strokes his dick, teasing the head of his cock with every upstroke. 

 

He applies more pressure to the base of his dick, groaning when a bolt of pleasure shoots through him as his thumb slides over the slit of his head. 

 

Leaning with one hand against the brown tile of the shower, he fucks himself into his fist, allowing the flood of images wracking his brain lead him. 

 

It starts of small… hands running up his thighs; warm, wet lace scratching against him. 

 

“ Fuck ,” he mutters, dropping his head to watch his dick move in between his fingers. 

 

Suddenly, it’s not his hands. Brief glimpses of strong thighs and thick lips soaked with pre-come come to his mind. It drips slowly down his mouth, past the little beauty spot under his lip.

 

Seokjin moves his hand faster now, imagining him tracing the man’s lips with the head of his dick, the other man’s tongue slipping out to lick the stray liquid now dripping from his chin. 

 

Seokjin imagines his hand reaching down between his own legs. Palming his cock through the soaked underwear, he thinks about how the man moans with his lips wrapped around him,

 

Fuck fuck fuck he’s right there-

 

Seokjin can see him spread his legs a little wider under the dim lights, looking like pure sin with his dick straining against the fragile material. His head is thrown back in ecstasy as he touches himself with Seokjin’s name falling from his lips.

 

Yes yes yes fuck fuck-

 

Seokjin swallows a deep groan as his release paints over the shower wall. He strokes himself through his orgasm, trying to calm his breathing-

 

He is never drinking wine again. 

 

Jesus fuck. Did I just-

 

Shut up shut up shut up shut up nononononono nothing happened.

 

Nothing happened.

 

Oh god, not in Namjoon’s fucking shower.

 

In Namjoon’s home.

 

He reasons with himself, it’s not like he was getting off to the thought of Namjoon himself. 

 

Seokjin pulls a face and washes himself once more before exiting the bath. 

 

He wipes himself with the fluffy towel and prays that he doesn't look obvious.

 

Seokjin makes his way to the bedroom with the slippers patterring against the floor, hoping Namjoon was in the lounge or something. 

 

He walks into the empty bedroom and dresses himself, he decides to be quick about it. He stops in his tracks, trying to fit the onesie over his body. 

 

There’s a pair of fuzzy socks on the bed. Well, there’s two pairs and Seokjin burns hot with the memory of trying to look for socks this morning. 

 

No, fuck- stop it. You just got off in his bathroom. 

 

No more surprise boners. 

 

Not that Namjoon wearing pretty underwear would turn him on. 

 

I’m sure , Yoongi’s voice echoes in his mind. 

 

Seokjin sends the little Yoongi in his head the middle finger, and slips on the thick socks. They have little reindeer and snowflake designs on them. 

 

He can’t fit his foot in the slippers that he’s been wearing around Namjoon’s house, so he decides to leave it be. 

 

He treads to the lounge, down the hall and he doesn’t see Namjoon. He sees the doors of the balcony opened, the light curtains pushed aside. 

 

Seokjin moves to the door and finds Namjoon leaning against the balcony with his head against his forearms. 

 

“Done!” Seokjin shouts a little louder than necessary. He watches as Namjoon jumps up and turns to him. 

 

Seokjin pulls up the hood so the spikes can stand up. Namjoon smiles so brightly, it inspires a twirl, in which he swings the tail of the onesie, before facing him again. 

 

“What d’you think? I think it really brings out my eyes,” Seokjin laughs because what he said makes absolutely no sense. 

 

Namjoon keeps his smile, something more gentle now, and steps forward to pull at one of the horns, “Mmm, you’re right,” agreeing with Seokjin’s nonsense. 

 

“What are you doing?” Seokjin looks past him, ignoring the soft look on Namjoon’s face. 

 

The other man turns, “Getting some air,” he shrugs. Seokjin feels a cool breeze brush against them. 

 

And then he hears glass clicking together. 

 

He turns and sees the same pink thing he’d seen when he’d first seen Namjoon’s building. 

 

“Holy fuck,” he pushes past Namjoon and moves towards it, “you still have it?” 

 

“I told you I did,” Namjoon frowns when he looks at Seokjin. 

 

“I thought you meant in a box somewhere,” Seokjin turns back to the wind chimes. The paint is bleached and peeling off the bottles and to be honest, it looks like a nightmare. He tugs on a bottle cap. 

 

“I’m gonna go shower,” he turns and Namjoon is already halfway through the door. Seokjin frowns and then shrugs. 

 

Weird.

 

It’s not your problem , he reminds himself.

 

Seokjin twirls the bottles and honestly, he’s surprised that this fucking thing is still strong enough to hang outside. 

 

He wonders why Namjoon would have kept it up after, well, everything. 

 

Seokjin laughs when he sees the fading hearts on the bottles and yellow stars losing their glow on the bottle caps. 

 

They were so young. 

 

Seokjin couldn’t have possibly known what his feelings for Namjoon would grow into when he’d made this. 

 

He just wanted his best friend to have good dreams. 

 

Seokjin knew what effect Hannah had on him. On both of them. 

 

He just wanted them to feel safe.

 

He supposes he’d detached so far away from being fucking kidnapped that he just pretended it had happened to someone else. 

 

He doesn’t think he remembers it. 

 

Maybe just glimpses of a blonde woman, telling them that they needed to come with her after school one day.

 

Glimpses of her tall body leaning over them as she bound them together. 

 

Glimpses of that dirty room with a high ceiling and narrowed walls. 

 

Glimpses of Namjoon shivering and crying. 

 

Glimpses of their therapist, Leila, with her bright red hair and thick glasses. 

 

Glimpses of the red-head telling Seokjin how to help himself through panic attacks. 

 

Just glimpses. 

 

He leaves the chimes to hang and presses his weight on the balcony line. 

 

He lets the night air call to him in passing cars and flickering lights as he looks across the skyline. 

 

The stars aren’t as bright here .

 

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, listening to the random birds squawking their last goodnights and some deeply depressed sob playing lacrimosa very loudly. He watches a couple in a window, they’re watching tv and they look so comfortable. 

 

“Hey,” he hears the iron groan as another weight joins him. He looks up and sees Namjoon in his dinosaur outfit. 

 

Seokjin pulls up the hood, “better,” he tells him. Namjoon laughs. 

 

“Wanna lie down?” Namjoon asks him. He looks like he’s about to pass out so Seokjin nods and smiles. 

 

They close up the balcony door and Seokjin takes the lead to the bedroom. 

 

“Uh- there’s extr-“ Namjoon starts from the doorway but Seokjin cuts him off, 

 

“Just come,” he rolls his eyes and lifts the blanket. 

 

Namjoon shuts his mouth and nods. Seokjin puts his lamp on before he switches off the main light and stumbles to the bed. 

 

He hears Namjoon thump against something, “ow fuck,” he mutters. Seokjin picks his head up from his pillow, 

 

“What?” 

 

“Hit my toe,” Namjoon comes over to his side of the bed and slides in. He clicks on the lamp’s base and the light fades out of the room. 

 

Seokjin looks at the dim light coming in from the windows. Namjoon never draws his curtains, which should be strange, but Seokjin likes it like that too. 

 

“You okay?” Namjoon asks from beside him. 

 

Seokjin hums back. He shifts a little closer to Namjoon, purely for warmth purposes. 

 

“Cold?”  

 

“I don’t know,” Seokjin shrugs and the wine is slowly wearing off and dragging his bones down. 

 

“Come here,” Namjoon tells him for the second time tonight. For the second time tonight, Seokjin moves towards him. 

 

He turns on his stomach, so he’s sort of laying on top of Namjoon, lifting slightly when the other man breathes. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t give a fuck right now. 

 

He’s had an emotionally taxing day and fuck it, if he needs to be near someone so his mind doesn’t dissolve him, so be it. 

 

Namjoon hooks his hand under Seokjin’s arms and wraps it around his back. 

 

He doesn’t want to think about anything. 

 

So, he tucks his head further into the warm crook of Namjoon’s neck and shoulder, ignoring every reservation he’s ever had about the other man, and relaxes. 

 

Namjoon only rubs his back, up and down, and it does nothing but encourage Seokjin’s foolish actions. 

 

“M’sorry ‘bout today,” he mutters, and his breath is warm against Namjoon. 

 

“You wanna talk about it?” his hand stops on Seokjin’s back. 

 

Seokjin sighs and Namjoon turns his head so it’s on top of Seokjin’s. He doesn’t move an inch. 

 

“Just confused and I think seeing your mom-“ he stops himself, unable to find the words. 

 

“Brought up a lot?” Namjoon asks and his chin bounces on his head. 

 

Seokjin nods, “Yeah,” 

 

There’s a long pause and Seokjin doesn’t know if Namjoon is asleep or not, but he still tries his luck, 

 

“Sorry for yelling at you,” he tells Namjoon. There’s no movement and then, he feels Namjoon laugh. 

 

His other hand pulls Seokjin’s from its place under his chin. He dips his hand in the cove of Seokjin’s palm and leaves it there, not applying any pressure. 

 

“It’s okay,” Namjoon says. 

 

“Thank you for the dinosaur,” he feels Namjoon’s smile above his head. Namjoon suddenly dips his head and Seokjin feels him breathing into his hair. 

 

“Anytime,” he says, and presses a kiss on Seokjin’s crown. Squeezing his hand, Namjoon lifts his head. 

 

He closes his eyes, letting sleep take him. 

Chapter 10: In Which The Tea is Spilled

Summary:

Did you know that cacao beans will open the fuck outta your heart chakra?
Once my sibling and I went to a random man’s land (he was really nice tho and he had many dogs) and then we were being spiritual in the mountains and shit and I didn’t shower for two days. Anyway a white sangoma gave me cacao beans and then we saw a huge spider in the toilet but Peanut was cool (peanut = the spider) only cause I didn’t look him directly in his eyes. 👁👁👁👁👁👁👁👁
Anyway I that’s how I got high off cacao beans once oof and I befriended all the cats and dogs there - felt like ace Ventura but like brown and cold
But I’m always brown and cold
But I was brown and cold in a tent

Seokjin is standing outside of Yoongi’s front door, ready to confront the other man. 

 

He had woken up to an empty bed and a note, telling him that Namjoon had gone for a run. 

 

Seokjin fucking bolted. 

 

In his onesie, hoping he wouldn’t run into Namjoon on the way out. It only occurred to him, while he was in his car, that he was still dressed like a dinosaur. He slipped on his work shoes he left at the door on Friday, and god knows how he got them on, because the socks are so damn thick. 

 

He refused to think about Namjoon or whatever the fuck he did last night. 

 

No, absolutely not. 

 

It’s not like he fucking had sex with him. 

 

No, it was much worse. 

 

He fucking cried in front of him, and then proceeded to cuddle him like a damn deprived puppy. 

 

Christ - he can deal with all of that tomorrow, when he has to look at Namjoon in his stupid work suit. 

 

Right now, he’s on a mission. And that mission is finding out just how deep Namjoon’s friendships run with Hoseok and Yoongi. 

 

And why he had to find out from Namjoon’s fucking mom. 

 

All thoughts of murdering his friend fly out of his head as soon as the small man opens the door. 

 

And by god, does Yoongi look small. 

 

He looks like he hasn’t slept for days and just dehydrated .

 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Seokjin asks, pushing past him to look inside the apartment. 

 

His nose itches. 

 

“I had to take Biggie and Diddy to the vet yesterday while you were sucking Namjoon-ah’s di- what are you wearing?” Yoongi is looking at him like an alien. 

 

“Long story, where are the girls?” Yoongi points past him and in the general direction of his bedroom. Seokjin ignores his comment and walks to the room. 

 

He forgot they were getting spayed this weekend, poor girls. 

 

“Are you gonna ignore me?” Yoongi asks once he’s entered the room.

 

“Yes,” he hears his friend huff behind him. 

 

Yoongi set up the cat beds at the foot of his own bed. It’s practically the only decoration in the room apart from his nightstand. 

 

Biggie and Diddy are sleeping soundly, huddled close together on one bed. 

 

Seokjin coos and reaches down when, 

 

“They just fell asleep, leave them,” Yoongi tells him. Seokjin pouts, heartbreaking for the babies and follows Yoongi out of the room. 

 

When they walk past the lounge and to the kitchen bar, he spots the hot-pink cat castle assembled in the middle of the lounge. 

 

“So, are you going to explain why you’re at my house on Sunday morning dressed like that, or am I going to have to guess?” Yoongi starts the kettle and flinches when it gets loud. 

 

“Guess,” Seokjin shrugs, because explaining this would be so much worse. He takes a seat on one of the barstools and spins. 

 

“You and Namjoon-ah are exploring something ungodly?” Seokjin laughs and Yoongi lifts his brow. 

 

“Christ, no. I had a bad day,” he fiddles with a cat toy he finds on the counter. 

 

“So, obviously you have to dress like a dragon?” Yoongi frowns. 

 

“No, Namjoon said it makes him feel better, so,” he shrugs again, “and it’s a dinosaur .”

 

This doesn’t sate Yoongi in the slightest, but he nods and continues putting sugar in their teacups, muttering something that sounds like, “because Namjoon said,” 

 

“Shut it,” Seokjin points. 

 

Yoongi turns to him, eyes wide and eye bags even heavier, “I didn’t say anything, Hyung ,” Seokjin watches him stick his tongue against his cheek. 

 

Mother fucker is trying not to laugh. 

 

“We went to see his mother and I drank wine,” he tells Yoongi, like it explains anything. 

 

“Meeting the parents already? Wow, Jin, so mature,” Yoongi pours the boiling water into the mugs. The sarcastic fucker .

 

“You know what - speaking of. I want to ask you something,” Yoongi hums noncommittally. 

 

“How long have you and Namjoon been friends?” Yoongi turns to him and puts the kettle down. 

 

“Same amount of time as you,” He shrugs. 

 

“You know what I mean, and Namjoon and I aren’t friends,” Yoongi lifts a brow and nods. 

 

He stirs milk into the tea and hands a cup to Seokjin before answering. 

 

“Well, we didn’t stop being friends with him because you were angry,” Yoongi tells him. 

 

“Why don’t you ever talk about him, then? How have I never seen him once in thirteen years?” Seokjin shoots. 

 

“Jin, you were so angry and everytime someone even said his name, you’d fucking become like this storm cloud,” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“And Namjoon keeps to himself,” he says and then adds in, “ mostly .” Whatever the fuck that means. 

 

“So… you kept him from me,” Seokjin mutters to himself. Yoongi chokes on his tea and there’s milky tea all over the counter. 

 

“ What ?” Yoongi manages. 

 

“No, I didn’t mean it like that ,” Seokjin barks. 

 

“Oh, so how did you mean it?” Yoongi counters smoothly. 

 

“You know,” Seokjin lifts his tea to his mouth and drinks deeply. Yoongi makes the best tea. 

 

“I don’t,” 

 

“What the fuck do you want me to say?” Seokjin riles. 

 

Yoongi shrugs, “Maybe that you’re not as angry as you want everyone to believe,” he says it like he’s listing groceries and Seokjin stares. 

 

And stares. 

 

And he thinks back to what he told Namjoon on Friday night. 

 

“How’s Hoseok?” He changes the topic so abruptly that Yoongi pauses. 

 

“Good, he left before I took the girls to the vet,” he says and sips. 

 

“You ate? What happened?” 

 

“They were absolute terrors, Diddy had diarrhoea and Biggie didn’t want me to put her down,” Seokjin laughs because Yoongi sounds like he’s raising two newborn babies. 

 

“Welcome to fatherhood,” Seokjin grins. 

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and leans on the counter, “So, why were you drinking wine with Yoon-suh?” And Seokjin’s smile drops. 

 

“Because she bought wine, Yoongi,” he lifts a brow and Seokjin wants to poke him in the eye. 

 

He says nothing, so Seokjin starts again, “She invited me for dinner and I didn’t want to be rude,” Yoongi smiles. 

 

“What?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“She always asks about you, I bet she talked your ear off,” and Seokjin feels unbalanced for a moment. Because, sure. They’d all known each other in school… he briefly forgot that Yoongi and Yoon-suh exist on the same planet. 

 

“Yeah,” he mutters. Seokjin doesn’t add that he matched her word for word. He loves her and he doesn’t think that would ever fade. 

 

“So? Why’d you drink wine?” Seokjin frowns. What kind of question is that? 

 

“It makes you, I don’t know… kissy… or emotional,” Yoongi adds and Seokjin blushes. 

 

He feels the heat crawling up his neck. 

 

“Oh god, did you sleep with Namjo-“ 

 

“No! What? Why the f-“ 

 

“You’re dressed weirdly and you rocked up here out of-“ 

 

“I didn’t sleep with him!” 

 

“Okay! Okay,” Yoongi raises his hands in surrender. 

 

“Okay, well, technically I did sleep with him,” before Yoongi could run himself into a new assumption, he adds, “like, actually slept.” 

 

“I actually,” he coughs, “-cried.” Yoongi nods. 

 

Seokjin is appalled at the lack of response, “I don’t cry ,” 

 

“Yes, you do,” Yoongi rolls his eyes and grabs their empty cups to rinse out in the sink. 

 

“When have I ever cried?” 

 

“What? You want a date and time?”

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Okay, July fourth,” Seokjin baulks, 

 

“No, I -“ if he’s being completely honest here, he doesn’t remember much of that day. 

 

“Okay, fine. What about?” Seokjin crosses his arms as he asks. 

 

“I believe it was because a girl handed you a hotdog,” Yoongi tells him. 

 

“No, I didn’t!” 

 

“Yes, you did. Hobi cried with you, so don’t feel bad,” 

 

“Hobi wasn’t there-“ 

 

“Yes, he was. And you both told everyone it was your Independence Day ‘cause you don’t need no man ’,” Yoongi uses air quotes and sits on the stool next to him. 

 

“ And you two made everyone at the bar sing ‘I’m Every Woman,” Seokjin cringes. 

 

“Well, anyway, as I was saying ,” he pulls the topic away, “he hugged me and made me tea and then,” 

 

“Did you kiss?” Yoongi props his hand on his chin and wiggles his eyebrows. 

 

“The fuck, Yoongi, no,” Seokjin pushes his arm so his head moves. His lousy grin just stays glued to his face.

 

“Why not?” 

 

“You know why, you ass,” Seokjin mutters, smacking the little mouse toy on the counter. 

 

“Oh, so you do want to kiss him,” Yoongi's grin gets wider and Seokjin sees his gums. 

 

“ No ,” Seokjin frowns, “I don’t,” 

 

“I may have been drunk on Friday, but I know what I saw,” Seokjin blushes at his friend’s words. 

 

“I was drunk! I would have made out with anything!” He reasons. 

 

“Mmm, gimme a kiss then,” Yoongi puckers his lips obnoxiously. Seokjin pushes his face away. 

 

“I think you got enough on Friday night,” Seokjin smiles deviously, “Actually, I was wondering where that lemon peel went…” he trails off and Yoongi punches him in the shoulder. Seokjin smiles and watches the flush sweep over Yoongi’s face. 

 

It’s about damn time too. He and Hoseok have been skirting around each other for years, never actually crossing the line. Seokjin doesn’t want to ask too much about it, Yoongi might just clam up. Seokjin thinks they’d be perfect together. 

 

“It’s not like we did anything,” He says instead. 

 

Yoongi nods, “Did you want anything to happen?” He asks and his voice is quiet. But he might as well have shouted it at Seokjin’s face. 

 

“No,” he says, “no, I didn’t.” Seokjin shakes his head. 

 

Yoongi just gives him a sad smile. 

 

“What’s that face for?” He asks Yoongi. 

 

“Nothing,” his friend pushes himself off the barstool, “I’m gonna go shower and pass the fuck out before these monsters wake up, gonna come?” 

 

“I would love to shower with you, Yoongi,” Seokjin flutters his eyelashes. 

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes and points at the fridge, “if you’re staying, there’s probably food in there,” he turns and walks away to his bedroom. 

 

“I’m leaving!” Seokjin decides quickly, he doesn’t hear any reply, other than the en suite shower turn on. 

 

The drive home is short and he almost crashes into a street light because he keeps checking his phone. 

 

He still checks it when he’s on the lift to his floor and it’s frustrating the fuck out of him. 

 

Jimin sent him multiple texts last night, asking if they could talk and Seokjin decides he’ll call his friend once he has a shower and some fucking underwear on. 

 

Namjoon hasn’t texted. 

 

He knows that’s why he’s been burning holes into his phone but he doesn’t know why he even gives a shit whether he texted or not. 

 

He throws his phone on his bed and showers… but angrily. 

 

How could he not check up ? 

 

What if I was kidnapped from his apartment? 

 

He made the bed before he left…

 

Still . 

 

Wait . 

 

No . 

 

Namjoon doesn’t owe him anything besides sitting beside him and acting like they’re together. 

 

And he doesn’t even owe Seokjin that. 

 

But then why is he obsessing over this? 

 

He doesn’t like Namjoon. Well, he supposes he does, but in a friendly way. 

 

Yoongi’s comment rings throughout the shower and he sticks his head under the spray to distract himself. 

 

When he’s done showering, he doesn’t even have the brainpower to put lotion on his body. He just throws on his pyjama bottoms and a loose t-shirt and crawls on his bed. 

 

He’s confused. 

 

That much, he can admit. 

 

God, it’s only been two weeks of fake dating and Seokjin needs to fucking haul himself back before he gets too comfortable with Namjoon. 

 

He just feels frustrated with Namjoon, but for no particular reason. Or just one he can’t place. 

 

It’s like, sure, they almost kissed, right? But he is pretty sure Yoongi and Hoseok made-out on Friday - then what the fuck is he doing obsessing over almost kissing Namjoon? Then, he goes on and treats Seokjin like he’s a precious piece of glass when he breaks down? 

 

It’s not his fucking fault for reacting like this. 

 

He is human and he reacts to affection, simple . 

 

He breathes deeply and -

 

He really needs to change his ringtone. He jerks upright, heart beating rapidly at the shock and finds the phone where he threw it earlier. 

 

It’s Jimin and he’s requesting a video call. Seokjin groans and answers. 

 

“Hyung!” Multiple different voices greet him and he sees Jimin sitting in the middle, squished between Taehyung and a very shirtless Jeongguk.

 

Seokjin pulls a face, “Jeongguk, is this how you treat your elders?” Jimin laughs and the younger man sticks out his tongue. 

 

“Jealous, Hyung?” Jeongguk challenges and Seokjin rolls his eyes. 

 

“Guys! We have a mission here,” he tells his partners. Everyone’s faces fall at that and Seokjin laughs internally. Like he doesn’t know what’s coming. 

 

“How are you?” Tae asks and Seokjin thinks they’re trying to gauge whether or not he’s ready to hear the news of his cheating boyfriend. 

 

He answers, “Fine,” and he shrugs. He watches Jimin look at Tae and turn back to him. 

 

“So, we have something to tell you,” Jeongguk starts and Seokjin frowns, leading them on. 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Jimin met Namjoon before,” Tae says and Seokjin nods, trying his best to look like he’s hearing this for the first time. 

 

“Cool, so-”

 

“He was on a date, Hyung,” Jimin cuts him off with a regretful look. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “How long ago was this?” 

 

“In April, I think? But you said you’ve been together for a year, right?” Seokjin nods sagely. 

 

“We were -” fuck , he didn’t think this far, “on a break,” Jimin pulls his head back. 

 

“A break?” 

 

“We needed some time apart to figure out ourselves,” he shrugs and Tae frowns. 

 

“So, he took some guy to a really fancy restaurant while you were on a break?” Jimin asks. 

 

“Well, we didn’t really speak - wait, did you say guy ?” WHAT ? 

 

“Yeah, he was really cute too,” 

 

“What were you doing there?” Seokjin tries to deflect, ignoring the oncoming flood of thoughts. 

 

“Client meeting,” Jimin tells him and Seokjin nods. 

 

“Look, we’ve known each other for a long time, we wanted to experience the world before we decided to commit…” Seokjin says, mind looping. 

 

Namjoon had said it was a date . Jimin saw who he was on a date with . A guy. 

 

Namjoon was on a date with a man . 

 

And suddenly, Jackson makes so much sense. 

 

“Hyung?” He hears Jeongguk call.

 

“Yah?” Seokjin snaps back to reality. 

 

“Jimin asked if you’re okay,” Tae tells him. 

 

“Yeah, yes. Yes, I’m fine,” his voice sounds really far away. 

 

“Hey, I didn’t mean to stress you out,” Jimin says and he looks at Seokjin with worry. 

 

“No, you didn’t!” Seokjin pastes on a smile, “I’m just really tired, I’m gonna go nap,” 

 

Jeongguk is looking at him with his big brown eyes and Tae has a soft pout. Jimin genuinely looks sorry. 

 

“Hyung…” Jimin starts. 

 

“I haven’t slept properly since Friday,” LIE , “I’m tired, I promise,” LIE . He smiles and waves them off. 

 

When the call ends he flattens himself on his bed and just stares at the ceiling. 

 

He stares, and the more he stares the whiter the ceiling becomes. It seems to pulse and move with his breath. 

 

Namjoon dated a man. 

 

Okay, okay, okay. 

 

Maybe he was curious? 

 

But it makes sense. 

 

Who the fuck cuffs their jeans? 

 

And Jackson was overly affectionate with him, Seokjin did think it was strange. He just thought Jackson had a crush and Namjoon was being too kind to let him down. 

 

But… is his gaydar broken? 

 

Is he being less gay these days?

 

Should he just ask -

 

Oh my god he kept saying that he wasn’t homophobic and Seokjin kept throwing at him. 

 

Then why was he so fucking stand-offish after that party so many years ago?  

 

Wait wait wait 

 

Yoon-suh mentioned that he had physical touch issues around that time. 

 

WAIT NO . 

 

THAT CANNOT BE IT.   

 

It can’t be because… because…

 

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit . 

 

Please tell him he did not push a fourteen-year-old kid to the side and accuse him of homophobia because he flinched when Seokjin touched him.

 

Maybe he didn’t know then? They were really young.

 

No .  

 

Oh fuck me . No wonder he fucking keeps to himself. 

 

Should he ask Namjoon about it? 

 

God, it’s only been one day. One fucking day, can’t he just fucking sleep without guilt hanging over his damn head. 

 

Fuck it , he thinks. He jumps off the bed and finds himself in front of the kitchen sink downing two whole sleeping pills. He looks at the clock in the kitchen. 

 

12:03

 

He doesn’t want to fucking be awake until he has to wake up for work. He sets his alarm and crawls beneath the covers, letting the heavy anchor in his chest drown him in sleep. 

 

—-------

 

He oversleeps and it’s an hour past his usual wake-up time. He is scrambling, trying to brush his teeth in the shower and on his way out of the door - he feels something in his shoe. 

 

When he finally sits behind his desk, he feels so intensely drowsy that he almost passes out waiting for his computer to boot up. But the fucking thing is just staring at him with a blank screen and won’t fucking turn on no matter how many damn times he smashes the button in. 

 

“I think you unplugged it,” Seokjin pops his head up from under his desk and finds Namjoon at his door. He didn’t hear it open because he was too busy swearing at his PC. 

 

He drops beneath the desk and finds the cord unplugged and sticks it back into the socket with force. When he comes back up, the other man is still at his door, the door closed behind his back. Seokjin does not want to see Namjoon right now. 

 

“Are you okay?” He starts. 

 

“Yes.” Seokjin answers shortly. 

 

“You left early yesterday,” Namjoon brushes the back of his hair down but Seokjin doesn’t think anything was out of place. 

 

He feels out of place.

 

“Sorry,” he swallows and punches in his password, “I went to check on Yoongi because he took the kittens to the vet on Saturday,” that is a complete lie because Seokjin forgot they existed until Yoongi had answered the door. 

 

“How are they?” What the fuck is Namjoon trying to get at here? 

 

“Good, well - they scared him, he was tired when I saw him,” Namjoon nods and pulls his lips in. 

 

Seokjin opens up his browser, but everything is fucking running too damn slowly and -

 

“I didn’t know if you were hungry, but I was gonna go get something,” Seokjin looks up from his computer and finds Namjoon swaying on his heels, hands in pocket. 

 

Food sounds really fucking good. 

 

He gives one last glance to his computer before waking up and pulling his jacket off the chair. Namjoon gets with the program and has the door open before Seokjin bites his head off. 

 

The ride to the cafe is awful and uncomfortable because Seokjin is trying to fend off his fucking intrusive thoughts and he thinks he is about ready to explode when they spot the familiar red awning. 

 

Sandy greets them with a bright smile, chipper as ever and he wants to smack her in the head. 

 

Those fucking crows are squawking outside and he swears to himself that he will shoot them one by one if they don’t fuc-

 

“What are you having?” Namjoon’s voice tears him away from his murderous thoughts. 

 

He groans, “I don’t know, I’m hungry,” he thinks about the last time he ate… it was Yoon-suh’s house. He had a cup of tea at Yoongi’s place yesterday but -

 

“What did you eat for dinner?” Seokjin can tell he’s just trying to fill the silence. 

 

He shrugs, “I didn’t eat yesterday.” He doesn't expect any sort of reaction from the other man.

 

So the “What, why?” Comes as a surprise. He looks up at Namjoon, his hair is still drying from his shower and he’s wearing a simple tweed suit. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t even know if his shoes are matching. 

 

“Tired,” Namjoon nods at his answer. 

 

“I could have made you breakfast,” Seokjin looks up. 

 

He can’t for the life of him understand why the fuck Namjoon is trying so fucking hard with him. 

 

Seokjin fucked up and he’s been actively blaming Namjoon for years and here he is, offering Seokjin breakfast. 

 

Seokjin really is an asshole. 

 

Instead of all of that, he says , “Not after Saturday, no.” The smile it pulls out of him is small but it’s genuine, recalling the flaming stove with humour. 

 

Namjoon’s cheeks darken, “I could have made you cereal,” he pouts and looks down at the menu. 

 

“You got fruit loops?” Seokjin tries. 

 

Namjoon lifts his head and nods with a grin that swallows his eyes. 

 

After a minute, “It makes sense,” Namjoon mutters. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What?” 

 

“You’re grumpy,” Namjoon smiles and closes the menu. 

 

“No, I’m not!” Seokjin runs to defend himself. 

 

“Sandy was even a little scared,” Seokjin looks at the young woman standing at the counter and she throws him a nervous smile. He laughs and smiles back. 

 

“It’s okay, I’m a good boyfriend, I’ll always keep you fed,” Namjoon winks and waves Sandy over. 

 

Seokjin didn’t question why Namjoon was so comfortable with pretending to be his boyfriend, and yeah, if he was a little fruity in the booty - it kind of makes sense. 

 

Oh my god, what if he wasn’t just curious? What if he’s been gay? Or bisexual or whatever he identifies as? 

 

“And what’ll you have, Jin?” Sandy asks him. He realises that Namjoon had already placed his order so he coughs. 

 

“The burger and fries, please,” Seokjin says and she nods and notes his order down. 

 

“Anything to drink?” she asks. 

 

“Vanilla latte,” he smiles at her. 

 

“Add an extra shot of espresso for him,” Namjoon tells her and he rolls his eyes. 

 

She walks away humming to herself. Seokjin isn’t entirely here, if he’s being honest. He can hear the wind chimes clattering above his head and he talks with Namjoon, but he doesn’t know what he says. 

 

On Wednesday, he gets a call from his agent, telling him that they’re going to start filming next April. He receives the email containing his script but he’s in a daze the entire week. 

 

He agrees to something with Jimin but he’s not entirely sure what it is until Thursday evening. Jimin sends him an address to an ice-skating rink that’s just opened up. It’s accompanied by a little text saying: Can’t wait to see you two!

 

Fuck , he agreed to a double date? But instead of burrowing himself away from humanity, he confirms the time.

 

He knows Namjoon has noticed his off behaviour because the other man sends him worried looks every morning and asks if he’s okay during their breakfast dates. On Friday morning, he feels like a high-functioning robot. Namjoon stopped trying to ask about relevant things and sticks to smaller, less personal topics. 

 

Seokjin should find it strange that he’s fucking talking about the weather with the man he’s fake dating and having breakfast with every morning, but he’s so stuck on a guilt loop that he doesn’t quite register it’s weird. 

 

He knows Namjoon has been itching to ask him about what’s been on his mind but Seokjin side steps the questions of concern with alarming ease. 

 

They’re eating some new strawberry-glazed donut that’s been added to the menu and Seokjin can’t really taste it, but he eats it anyway. 

 

“Tae wants to go ice-skating tomorrow afternoon,” Namjoon lifts his head and nods slowly. 

 

Seokjin sighs, “Like a double date,” he continues. Namjoon’s eyes widened at that. 

 

He nods again and then frowns, “Are you sure?” he asks Seokjin. His face must ask the question because Namjoon continues, “We don’t have to go out if you want to spend some time alone,” he tells Seokjin earnestly. 

 

Seokjin matches his frown, “I already agreed, unless you don’t want to go?” he shrugs and drops his donut on the plate. 

 

“Hey, wait, no- I didn’t say that,” Namjoon rushes out, “I’ll come, I just thought you might want to be alone this weekend,” he tells Seokjin. Be alone. He has been fucking feeling alone this entire week. Except for breakfast, however, Namjoon might as well be eating with a cardboard cutout of the Grinch.

 

Well, mostly because he ignored everyone and has not been checking his phone. The only reason Jimin got through to him was because he called Seokjin every five minutes for an hour and Seokjin threatened to end their friendship. 

 

Yoongi didn’t bother but Seokjin didn’t take it personally, he was busy. Hoseok has been texting him stupid cat videos and Seokjin got sucked into a black hole filled with cat videos on Thursday evening. 

 

“Is this about last weekend?” Seokjin picks his head up at Namjoon’s question. 

 

“What?” Seokjin is confused. 

 

“I told you that you’re not forcing me into anything,” Seokjin nods at his reply. 

 

“I’ll send you the location,” he tells Namjoon. Namjoon doesn’t look convinced but Seokjin doesn’t really care. 

 

“We could have a movie night and leave together tomorrow?” Namjoon suggests biting into the donut and Seokjin reaches across to wipe his mouth with a serviette. 

 

“You eat like a child,” Namjoon just smiles with his mouth closed and he really does look like a kid. Seokjin folds the serviette and drops it on the side of his plate. 

 

“What do you wanna watch?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon looks surprised at the answer, “You can choose,” he tells Seokjin with a softer smile now. 

 

“Even if it's a nineties rom-com?” He tries to joke.

 

“Especially if it's a nineties rom-com,” Namjoon agrees easily and finishes his drink. It’s just orange juice today. 

 

“Fine, we can watch Twilight,” Seokjin levels. 

 

“It’s not the nineties or a comedy!” Namjoon shoots back. 

 

“Well, sure it's not a nineties movie, but I’m pretty sure it’s a comedy,” Seokjin laughs and it feels genuine after a week of being sterile. 

 

“It’s a terrible story!” 

 

“Didn’t you read Pride and Prejudice in school?” Seokjin points out. 

 

“That is a literary masterpiece , you can’t compare it to Edward Cullen ,” Seokjin shrugs and he knows he’s just edging Namjoon on at this point. But it's fun. 

 

“How is it different?” Seokjin asks with all the ghall he can muster and Namjoon’s eyes bug-out of his head.

 

“How is it- are you joking ?” Namjoon asks. Seokjin shakes his head sagely. 

 

There’s a brief pause and Namjoon looks at him with disbelief.

 

And then Seokjin laughs. Namjoon groans and he laughs some more. 

 

“You’re an asshole,” Namjoon glares at him.

 

“We’re still watching Twilight though,” Seokjin says after he’s calmed down some. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head and sighs, “Whatever,” 

 

“Don’t be upset! It’ll be fun, I’ll even cook,” Namjoon’s eyes brighten considerably at Seokjin’s offer. 

“Really?” Namjoon asks with excitement, Seokjin frowns and nods. 

 

“What do you need? I can go grab whatever I don’t have,” Seokjin can see the gears already turning in Namjoon’s head. 

 

“We can go shopping after work?” Seokjin suggests and Namjoon pauses and then nods in agreement. 

 

“What are you gonna make?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “What do you feel like having?” 

 

“Something home-y,” Namjoon says and Seokjin hums in agreement. 

 

“My place?” Namjoon asks fondly.

 

“Might as well cut me a key at this point,” Seokjin rolls his eyes.

 

When their day ends, they meet in Seokjin’s office. Seokjin is already packed and waiting when Namjoon walks in with his bag wrapped around his chest.  

 

His father greets them on their way out and Namjoon does a little bow. 

 

“You’re such a kiss-ass,” 

 

“He’s my boss ,” Namjoon counters. 

 

“I’m the boss’ son, why don’t I get a bow?” Seokjin says before he can stop himself and his stupid mind plummets to the gutters. 

 

He wonders if Namjoon ever sucked a dick.  

 

Wait - the panties . 

 

Were they Namjoon’s? Does Namjoon wear them? 

 

Is he wearing them right now?

 

“Have you decided?” Seokjin snaps out of his mind and realises he’s standing outside of his car. 

 

Seokjin’s neck feels hot, “Uh, decided what?” he asks. 

 

Namjoon frowns and unlocks his own car, “What you’re cooking,” 

 

Oh right, he’s spending the night with Namjoon. 

 

Wait wait wait 

 

Not like that.

 

They’re watching movies and eating food. He’s spending the evening with a friend . 

 

“Let’s stop by my place and we can go dig in the cupboards?” 

 

“Yeah, you can pack some clothes,” Namjoon adds. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Who said I’m spending the night?” 

 

Namjoon grins across his car, “My shoulder to hip ratio would sugg-” Seokjin cuts him off by jumping into his car and slamming the door hard. 

 

Namjoon laughs and follows him to his apartment. Seokjin doesn’t know why he feels like his heart is going to beat out of his chest when they jump out of the car and make their way to the elevator. 

 

He opens the door and realises how fucking stupid he’s being. This is Namjoon. 

 

He doesn’t need to impress Namjoon. 

 

No matter how many lacy panties he might be wearing. 

 

Don’t fucking think about him wearing fucking panties when you’re literally planning on sleeping next to him, the fuck is wrong with you ?

 

Wait-

 

I can think about it because it doesn’t affect me. Not in the slightest . 

 

Not at all. 

 

Namjoon wearing pretty panties is fine and what he does in the bedroom is entirely not Seokjin’s business. 

 

“This is nice,” Namjoon whistles as he walks through the door and slips off his shoes. Seokjin shrugs and walks to his bedroom.

 

“I thought you’ve been here before?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “It was dark,” he replies. 

 

He pulls a bag from the top of his cupboard and throws in some clothes for the next few days. He’s only staying one night but he’d always been an over-preparer.  

 

He decides to throw in his llama bedroom slippers because he doesn’t like the ones at Namjoon’s house. 

 

There’s a big huff from his bed and he turns to see Namjoon sitting with his legs spread, hand rubbing one thigh like - 

 

We’re not going there today. 

 

Or ever .

 

“Your bed is so nice, Hyung,” Namjoon flops back, “I’m moving in forever,” he groans and Seokjin laughs softly. 

 

“Bed’s too big, gets cold,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

“I’ll make it warm,” Namjoon says and Seokjin can just see the eyebrow wiggle even though his back is turned. 

 

 He grabs a pair of socks and throws it at Namjoon. 

 

“I’m so tired,” Namjoon says and unravels the socks, yawning deeply. 

 

Seokjin hums in agreement. 

 

“That’s why I’m glad you’re cooking,” Namjoon lifts his head but it looks so comical from where Seokjin is standing. 

 

“Wait, stay like that,” he laughs and pulls out his phone to snap a picture.

 

Namjoon stays in position while Seokjin takes the photo, “Lemme see,” he puts his hand out. He walks over and sure, Seokjin could have moved to the side of his legs but he wants to check something. 

 

Check what?

 

If he’s fucking queer.

 

But what if I’m not his type?

 

Then he wouldn’t necessarily react, right? 

 

Think generally, everyone reacts to certain things.

 

Namjoon doesn’t hesitate to sit up and he’s perfectly in line with Seokjin’s chest. Namjoon grabs his phone and pulls it down so he can see it. 

 

He hears him snicker as he looks at the photo and Seokjin puts his hand in his hair. 

 

He feels Namjoon tense, his thighs shift ever-so-slightly against Seokjin’s. 

 

Namjoon puts the phone down at his side and looks up at Seokjin. He tousles Namjoon’s hair and pokes his nose, “You look cute today,” it is a direct compliment. 

 

Seokjin gave him a compliment, mostly for scientific research purposes, but he can’t deny that Namjoon does look cute.

 

Suddenly, Namjoon’s arms slide under Seokjin’s and he’s being hugged against him. Namjoon’s chin is propped against his solar plexus and it digs in slightly when he smiles up at him. 

 

“Am I cute enough to change the movie tonight?” Namjoon tries and Seokjin laughs and rests his arms on Namjoon’s shoulders, hooking them around his neck. 

 

“Mhm, not that cute,” he shakes his head mournfully. 

 

Namjoon squeezes his arms tighter around his waist, “You’re telling me you’d pick Edward Cullen over my feelings.” 

 

Seokjin pretends to think about this for a second and then he shakes his head, “No, but definitely Sam and Charlie.” Namjoon pouts and sticks his bottom lip out and Seokjin is struck with the sudden urge to lean down and - 

 

Maybe he should just ask Namjoon. 

 

Testing Namjoon like this is fucking with him .

 

“I don’t even know who that is, Hyung,” he whines and Seokjin rights himself and lets go of Namjoon. The other man allows him to step away and Seokjin can feel the cold where his hands were resting. 

 

“Not my problem,” he sing-songs, “Grab my bag?” 

 

“Got everything?” 

 

“Yah, but I need to grab some ingredients,” he tells Namjoon and walks out of the room with his chest going on like he swallowed a jackhammer.

 

He walks to the kitchen and it hits him. 

 

He has not been here for food this entire week, just relying on his breakfasts with Namjoon to sustain him.

 

Seokjin shakes his head and goes to grab some noodles and beef out of the freezer. He’s pretty sure he saw some spices when Namjoon opened his cupboard, so that just leaves the main things. 

 

“I’ve got some stuff, you wanna grab some ice-cream?” Namjoon offers. 

 

“I’m gonna put on weight,” Seokjin presses his lips together. They’ve been eating absolute trash this entire week and Namjoon has been indulging him. 

 

He’s digging in the cupboard under the sink for a cooler bag but all he finds are packets upon packets - in other fucking packets.

 

“You’d look cute chubby,” Namjoon says thoughtfully and Seokjin turns around to glare at him. 

 

The other man just shrugs and points to the packets in Seokjin’s hands, “Just put the stuff in there.” Seokjin huffs and concedes. 

 

“No, I wouldn’t,” he mutters, throwing the noodles and the beef into a bag. 

 

“Sure you would,” Namjoon’s voice is much closer now. He continues to set the bag so nothing breaks or falls out, “your cheeks would be extra squishy.” Namjoon reaches around to poke Seokjin’s cheek and he bats it away. 

 

“I’m never eating ice-cream again,” Seokjin turns around with his packet and finds Namjoon at the opposite counter with his overnight bag over his shoulder. He’s laughing. 

 

“You wanna take your car? I can just drop you off after we go ice-skating?” Seokjin shrugs and moves to Namjoon’s stupid looking Prius. 

 

“You need a better car,” and thus begins an argument that lasts all the way to the frozen section of the local supermarket.  

 

“No! I don’t want any fucking ice-cream,” Seokjin fold his arms. 

 

“Why are you here then?” Namjoon points out. 

 

“What? You wanted me to wait in the car?” Seokjin shoots back and Namjoon laughs with his back turned.

 

“What flavour do you want?” Namjoon tries again. 

 

“You said I’d look fat, asshole,”

 

“No, you said that. I only said you’d be cute if you were chubby,” Seokjin keeps his arms folded and eyes on the ice-cream in the freezer as Namjoon walks around him.

 

“Fine, I said it but- but,”

 

He hears the basket hit the ground behind him but he doesn’t expect the arms around his torso. 

 

But he’s supposed to be mad at something. 

 

What something, he doesn’t really remember. 

 

“C’mon choose, Hyung,” Namjoon hugs him lightly and rests his head on his shoulder. This is new, “M’tired,” he whines.  

 

Seokjin broke that stupid physical barrier earlier and now…

 

Why does he do stupid shit? 

 

“You choose, this is too much pressure,” Seokjin thinks this is a solid compromise. 

 

“Chocolate,” Namjoon says with ease. 

 

“Chocolate tastes gross, Joon-ah,” he feels a groan and a face tucking itself against his neck. 

 

“Caramel?” 

 

“Fine,” Seokjin says and Namjoon lifts himself off his back and Seokjin steps forward to the fridge and grabs a caramel tin of ice cream.

 

“Remember when we were like that?” A woman’s voice rings from beside them. Seokjin turns to see a brown-haired woman smiling at him. 

 

Her hand is hooked into a taller figure, holding a basket and he has a frown on his heavily-moustached face, “We’re still like that,” he tells her and turns to Seokjin with the same frown. 

 

Seokjin laughs and feels Namjoon is a step closer. 

 

They walk past them and the lady winks at Seokjin. 

 

They weren’t pretending here. 

 

Why don’t people assume me and Yoongi are together? 

 

Or even Hoseok? 

“You’ve been in your head the entire week, leave it at the door,” Namjoon tells him on the way up to his apartment. They ended up picking up a box of wine because Seokjin’s liver is working overtime anyways. 

 

Seokjin sighs deeply and pulls out his slippers before they reach the door. 

 

“What? You don’t like my slippers?” Namjoon asks as he slips off his work shoes and puts on his slippers. Seokjin shakes his head. 

 

“What’s the game plan? Shower or food first?” Namjoon asks as he puts the packets and the cooler on the kitchen counter. 

 

“Shower first, the beef needs to defrost more,” Seokjin decides, walking down the hall to Namjoon’s room. He throws his bag on the bed and pulls out his pyjamas.

 

“Are you going first?” Namjoon asks from the door. Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“Wanna bubble bath?” Namjoon grins at him. 

 

“You got bubbles?” He asks him, and Namjoon replies with an enthusiastic nod before he turns to the hall. 

 

Seokjin sits on the bed and hears the water turning on in the bathroom. He walks over to find Namjoon pouring a shitload of green bubble soap into the tub. He puts up a finger, signalling Seokjin to wait. Seokjin leans against the doorframe. 

 

He digs around the little cabinet under the kitchen sink and pulls out a clear packet with what looks like dried flowers and another with bath salts. He shimmies his shoulders before dumping half the salt packet into the steaming, green water. 

 

Namjoon pushes past him, “Wait! I’m coming-” but he’s already down the hall, going to get god knows what.

 

Seokjin steps into the room and finds it layered with tendrils of perfumed steam. It smells like trees.

 

Namjoon steps into the room with two huge candles and something in his palms, “What’s that?” 

 

Namjoon opens his palm and he sees a pink pyramid and a purple geode. 

 

“Rose quartz and Amethyst,” He smiles and puts everything on the tub's ledge.

 

Seokjin frowns, “What’s all this for?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “You look like you need to relax,” he’s taken off his suit jacket and his white dress shirt is slightly crumpled and the sleeves are rolled up. 

 

He looks like someone’s husband from the fifties. 

 

“For me?” Seokjin feels like he’s been punched in the gut when Namjoon nods. 

 

“Th-thank you,” he says and feels his chest swell up when Namjoon turns off the faucet and sprinkles the flower petals over the mound of bubbles.

 

“Get in, I’ll bring a towel,” Namjoon instructs him and leaves the bathroom.

 

 When the door shuts, he undresses himself and dips his toe into the water, it’s perfect. 

 

He sinks into the water and laughs when he puts his head back on the ledge. He’s completely covered in bubbles and there’s the gentle sloshing of the water soaking away the week’s grime.  

 

There’s a timid knock on the door, “I’m in,”

 

“Are you decent?” 

 

“Namjoon, I’ve walked in on you watching porn,” he tells the other man as he steps into the room. 

 

“I told you that I clicked on the wrong link,” Namjoon groans.

 

Namjoon holds a wine glass with Rosé filling half of the goblet and a soft-looking towel in the other. 

 

“You look cozy,” he tells Seokjin, handing him the glass. 

 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to seduce me,” Seokjin sips the cheap wine and sighs. 

 

Namjoon chuckles, “I’m gonna light the candles, do you want the lights on?” 

 

“Nah, put them off,” Seokjin answers, feeling warm and ready to doze off. 

 

He hears the lighter and then he asks, “Where’s your glass?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Where’s your glass?” He repeats slower this time. 

 

“You want me to stay?” Seokjin blushes but the dim lights of the candles should cover it easily. 

 

“Well, if you want,” he drinks deeply from his cup and hands it to Namjoon. Namjoon leaves the bathroom but the door is still open. 

 

He steps back in after a few short minutes with two glasses and the wine-box tucked under his arm. Seokjin is trying to shape a bubble-beard on his face. 

 

Namjoon closes the door with his foot and hands one of the glasses to him, “I’m Santa,” Seokjin grins up at Namjoon. 

 

Ideally, he should feel weird. He’s naked in a bathtub and Namjoon is taking a seat on the toilet lid while there are only the soft lights of the candles bathing the room. 

 

But he doesn’t. 

 

He’s tired and confused. 

 

“What are you gonna get me for christmas?” Namjoon crosses his legs and turns his body to face Seokjin. 

 

“Coal,” he answers easily. 

 

“ Hyung ! I’ve been good this year,” 

 

“Sorry, Namjoonie, I don’t make the rules,” he tells him and blows the bubbles in his palm at him. 

 

There’s a pause in the conversation and Seokjin knows that Namjoon is watching him. He tries not to pay it any mind and drinks the wine and sinks deeper into the water. 

 

“ What ?” Seokjin snaps. 

 

“I didn’t say anything!” Namjoon defends, eyes wide. He looks kind of beautiful, the yellowish light reflecting against his face and flickering. It brings a little attention to the few buttons he left opened, showing the strong curves of his chest. His eyes catch the light and they twinkle when he looks at Seokjin. 

 

“You want to say something, say it ,” Seokjin pats some bubbles down and catches a petal. 

 

Namjoon breathes in deeply, “Why were you upset this week?” 

 

“I thought you said to leave it at the door,” Seokjin deflects. Namjoon gives him a dull look.

 

“I wasn’t upset,” Seokjin is avoiding the question. Why did he open his fucking mouth?

 

Namjoon nods, “Okay - but you weren’t, I don’t know,” he shrugs, “normal?” 

 

“Confused,” Seokjin fills in for him. 

 

“About?” 

 

Well, here goes nothing. He barely feels the water on his skin as his mind takes the shot, “Can I ask you something?” Namjoon frowns but still nods. 

 

“Are you straight?” He watches as Namjoon’s eyes widen and then he bursts out laughing, the wine sloshing slightly over the edge of the goblet. 

 

“What? Why’re you laughing?” Seokjin is confused. 

 

“What made you ask?” he asks through his laughter. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Well, Jimin called me and told me about your date and you said it was a date but he said you were with a guy ,” Seokjin feels stupid for even fucking saying it outloud. 

Namjoon listens intently and nods. 

 

“The answer is no,” and Seokjin’s stomach literally falls through his ass and is probably floating in the bathtub somewhere. 

 

“Why did- I thought you wer-” 

 

“You never asked,” Namjoon cuts him off, “I never did anything to hide it from you,” he sips from his cup. 

 

“Well, fuck,” 

 

“What?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“You’re gay now,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

He laughs again, “I’m not gay now , and I’m not gay ,”

 

“Huh?” 

 

“I’ve known I was bisexual for years, hyung,” he chuckles and grabs Seokjin’s empty goblet to fill it with his own. 

 

Seokjin squints at him suspiciously when he takes the glass back, “How many years?” 

 

Namjoon looks up, probably trying to count in his head, “Like fourteen years now?” 

 

“ Excuse me? ” Seokjin is lost.

 

“What?” 

 

“You knew in school ?!” His voice rises with the steam. Namjoon shrugs and nods. 

 

“And you didn’t think I should have known?” Seokjin knows it sounds egotistical. 

 

“That’s a different story, I was scared,” 

 

“But you knew I was gay,” 

 

“I found out you were gay, and it’s a little different telling your crush that sort of thing,” his eyes catch Seokjin’s when he finishes his sentence. 

 

“ WHAT ?!” Seokjin sits up, completely disregarding that he’s absolutely naked and if he shifts too much he’ll be exposed. 

 

“Don’t tell me you haven’t figured it out,” Namjoon makes a fist and knocks Seokjin on the head. 

 

“I was not your crush,” Seokjin fights back, feeling a little dizzy because he sat up too quickly. Or because of the wine. 

 

Namjoon smiles like Seokjin is stupid, “I don’t think you can tell me that,” 

 

“Yes, I can!” Seokjin lays back down, trying to absorb the information, “If I was, why didn’t you say anything?” 

 

Namjoon groans and downs his entire glass, “I thought you and Yoongi-Hyung were-” 

 

“He told you we-” 

 

“That was last week-” 

 

Seokjin cuts him off again, “Then why did you have a panic attack?” he asks with a frown. 

 

A shade of red flushes under Namjoon’s dark skin, “It sounds dramatic now ,”

 

“Please, do share because I’ve been going around thinking that you were so homophobic that your anxiety flared up whenever you saw gay people,” Namjoon laughs at this. 

 

“Well?” 

 

“You want the truth?” 

 

“No, Namjoon, I want you to lie,” He deadpans. 

 

“Okay, okay, don’t laugh, alright?” Namjoon looks at him and Seokjin nods. 

 

“I was upset that you didn’t tell me, number one and number two - I was,” he gestures to his head, “that you didn’t like me back,” Seokjin’s mouth drops open. 

 

“And then you got triggered when I cornered you, right?” Namjoon nods. 

 

Holy fucking shit. 

 

“That’s stupid,” Seokjin blurts out, laughing at how hysterical this all sounds. 

 

“What - it’s not stupid , I was young-” 

 

“No, not that,” Seokjin stops his train of thought. 

 

“What then?” Namjoon pours into his glass and asks Seokjin if he wants a refill. 

 

“Well, remember what Yoongi told you last week? When he was hammered?” Seokjin builds up. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “He loves big butts?” 

 

Seokjin laughs, “That was Hoseok,” he shakes his head. 

 

“He wasn’t kiss -kissing you?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin nods. 

 

“What does that have to do with anything?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin rolls his eyes. 

 

“Yoongi had already experimented with boys and whatever - and - and I was planning on kissing someone else, but I didn’t want them to think I was bad at it,” Namjoon nods, trying his best to piece it together. 

 

Then, “You think I kissed Yoongi for fun?” He pulls a sour face. 

 

Almost there.

 

“ Me ?” Ding Ding Ding!

 

“Bingo,” Seokjin laughs when Namjoon’s mouth drops open and he freezes. 

 

“No,” Namjoon says with disbelief. 

 

“ Yes ,” Seokjin counters. 

 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Namjoon asks, rather dumbly. 

 

Seokjin throws him a dull look, “You were acting weird after the party,” he tells the other man. 

 

“Oh my god,” Namjoon mutters, running a hand over his face. 

 

“We’re both stupid,” Seokjin says in a quiet voice. Still letting the fact that Namjoon was bisexual soak into him. 

 

“I’m gonna go rinse off in the shower,” Seokjin lifts himself a little straighter, and hands his glass to Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon looks stunned but he nods and leaves Seokjin alone in the bathroom. He lets the water drain out, watching as the flowers swirl down the hole. 

 

He makes quick work in the shower, scrubbing himself down and feeling like a raisin. 

 

When he goes to the bedroom to get dressed, Namjoon is on the bed - with his hand over his eyes. 

 

“You gonna watch me get dressed, perv?” Seokjin asks, walking to Namjoon’s vanity table. He sits down and picks up the same bottle of lotion he used last week. 

 

“Yup,” Namjoon sits up slightly and folds his hands behind his head. 

 

“Go bath, you heathen,” Seokjin points the bottle at him threateningly. 

 

Namjoon grins, “Don’t want help rubbing lotion on your back?” He lifts a brow. 

 

Seokjin flings the bottle at his head, it misses because the motherfucker catches it before it could whack him, “Gotta be quick, Hyung,” 

 

Seokjin sticks his tongue out. 

 

“So is that a yes?” Namjoon tries again and laughs. 

 

“Give me the lotion and get out of my face,” Seokjin glares but he’s straining to keep a smile in.

 

Seokjin thinks as he gets dressed. 

 

About how he was so angry at Namjoon for years. It’s all been left in the dark to gather his worst thoughts about him, and now it’s so fucking weird to see it all illuminated. 

 

Namjoon is bisexual , he laughs quietly to himself, holy shit .

 

And Yoon-suh said he’d been wary of touching people around the same time. 

 

Seokjin wouldn’t consider himself physically affectionate… but they were friends for years and seeing Namjoon pull back so hard when Seokjin tried to comfort him or talk to him was devastating. 

 

It wasn’t his fault. 

 

It was Seokjin’s damn fault for not checking up on his friend, but he was so consumed by anger. He didn’t even want to talk about Namjoon. 

 

He’s sitting and staring into the mirror when Namjoon walks in with a towel. 

 

Seokjin twists his body around and gulps down a huge breath.

 

“I’m sorry,” he looks at Namjoon in the eye. The other man is fucking naked and frowning but goddamn, does he look fine .

 

“Sorry about?” Namjoon steps in and moves to the armoire. He pulls out a pair of boxer-briefs and slips them under his towel. 

 

“I was angry at you and -” 

 

“Jin, it’s not your fault -” 

“No, no but I was angry instead of helping you when-” he stands from the vanity.

 

“Stop, stop-” 

 

But Seokjin goes off, “- you were so young and I’m sorry that I’ve been blaming this all on you-” 

 

Seokjin’s words cut off when Namjoon’s hands grip his shoulders, 

 

“Hey,” he says and Seokjin remembers to breathe. Namjoon nods when he breathes in. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Seokjin mutters, and he’s sort of shaking. He thinks.

 

“It’s okay,” Namjoon pulls him into a hug and tucks Seokjin’s head underneath his chin. Seokjin feels tears all over his cheeks catching his hair uncomfortably. 

 

Christ , he’s crying again .

 

“It’s not okay,” he shouts but Namjoon holds him still. 

 

Namjoon holds him tighter, “Look, it’s okay… we’re okay,” Namjoon mutters into his hair. 

 

Namjoon leads him to the bed and he holds him when they sit down. 

 

Seokjin tries his best to gather himself together. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

“Why are you asking me if I’m okay? Who the fuck cares - why aren’t you angry?!” He blurts out and Namjoon chuckles. Seokjin wipes his nose. 

 

“Listen, I needed to deal with myself,” he rubs Seokjin’s shoulder, “and I’ve come to terms with it, okay?” Namjoon says, “I didn’t tell you, hyung.” 

 

Seokjin takes in a stuttery breath, “I’m sorry,” 

 

“I know,” Namjoon hugs him again. 

 

After a minute Namjoon chuckles and it shakes Seokjin’s body. 

 

“What?” He asks. 

 

“You know, this is not the usual response when I tell someone I liked them,” Namjoon says and Seokjin rolls his eyes and lifts himself from leaning on Namjoon.   

 

“I’ve been blaming you for ending everything,” Seokjin stares ahead into the armoire. 

 

“Well, it wasn’t anyone’s fault,” Namjoon tells him but it's moot. 

 

Seokjin could have tried harder. 

 

“If you wanna blame yourself, I’m going to have to forfeit your ice-cream rights,” Namjoon shrugs.

 

Seokjin laughs. He doesn’t fucking care about the damn ice-cream. 

 

“You’re not mad?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon frowns and then shakes his head, “How could I have expected you to know?” Seokjin nods. 

 

A moment and then,

 

“Hungry?” Namjoon’s voice pulls him to the present moment.  

 

Seokjin sighs, “Mhm,” he stands to his feet. 

 

“Must I cook?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin snaps his head back to glare at him. 

 

Namjoon laughs and puts up his palms, “Okay, okay - I’ll help?” Seokjin smiles and pulls Namjoon to his feet. 

 

And pulls him into a hug. 

 

“Why are you so nice to me?” he speaks into his chest, more to himself than Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon hugs him back and it feels… okay. 

 

No no no, it feels more than okay. He feels almost… relieved? 

 

Yeah, he feels relieved as he melts into Namjoon’s arms. 

 

And then it hits him - Namjoon doesn’t have anything on. 

 

Seokjin pulls back suddenly, “Put on a damn shirt,” he pushes Namjoon back but he doesn’t get very far because Namjoon’s arms hold strong around his torso. 

 

“ Oh , so now my shoulder to hip ratio is not good en-” Namjoon doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Seokjin pulls the towel from around his waist. 

 

Namjoon has his black underwear on but he still moves to cover himself and grab the towel. Seokjin laughs as he steps back and spins the towel. 

 

“Don’t you dare!” Namjoon yells. 

 

Seokjin smiles deviously, “ Or what? ”

 

Seokjin whips the material at his legs, and even though it makes a loud noise - he knows it didn’t hurt, “ OW , HYUNG!?” 

 

He bundles the towel up, cackling wildly and throws it at Namjoon, “Get dressed and come help me,” he walks out of the room. 

 

“I knew you had a cowboy kink!” Namjoon shouts from across the hall and Seokjin laughs his way into the kitchen. 

 

He manages to find pots and the meat is soft enough to braise. So, he gets the noodles cooking and is in the middle of chopping onions when Namjoon comes in dressed in warm pyjamas. 

 

“I think it’s gonna rain tonight,” Namjoon says. 

 

“It’s been grey all week, probably tomorrow,” he shrugs. Namjoon hums and comes to stand beside him. He pushes his hip into Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin raises his knife, “Don’t test me,” and he goes back to chopping, “Pour me some wine?” Namjoon nods and fills their glasses from earlier. 

 

Namjoon hangs around for a bit and together with a lot of delegation, they get dinner ready. Namjoon sets the table and Seokjin brings over the pot and runs back to the kitchen for the noodles he flavoured earlier. 

 

When they finally sit down, Seokjin refills their glasses and gets dishing. Namjoon is already picking at the beef with his chopsticks. 

 

“Yah, have some manners - dish it out,” Seokjin scolds him. Namjoon sticks his tongue out but complies. 

 

When they sit down and eat, it’s silent for a bit. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin blushes. 

 

“Strange,” he answers and stuffs his mouth full of food to avoid talking. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Why?” 

 

Seokjin huffs and swallows his food down with the rest of the wine in his glass. He shrugs. 

 

Namjoon is bisexual. 

 

Well, I mean he could have been enjoying lingerie on his own. 

 

And while Seokjin thinks straight men could enjoy wearing pretty panties, he does think it’s very unlikely with the ‘laws’ of masculinity that someone pulled out their asses. 

 

It still could be an ex’s.

 

“Makes sense,” he says out loud, trying to reason with himself. 

 

He thinks Namjoon misses it but the way his face turns, Namjoon will let nothing slide. 

 

“What makes sense?” He asks through a mouthful. 

 

Seokjin looks at his food, “Well, I found panties in your drawer, so I assumed they belon-” but Seokjin doesn’t even finish his sentence because Namjoon is choking and his eyes are watering. 

 

He lifts his glass to wash down the wayward food. Once he’s done almost dying, he turns to Seokjin, “You assumed?” 

 

“Oh, that they were an ex’s,” he shrugs. 

 

Namjoon looks very thoughtfully at his food, taking his words in with a nod. Then he lifts his head and frowns, “That’s weird, isn’t it?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Keeping an ex’s underwear in my cupboard,” Namjoon elaborates. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Whatever, I don’t judge,” and then, “ Wait , are they yours ?” He looks up with wide eyes. 

 

Suddenly, Namjoon is on his feet, “You want more wine?” 

 

“Namjoon,” Seokjin tries to catch his eyes but Namjoon refuses to pay him any mind.

 

“Whose are-”

 

“You look thirsty, maybe you should have more wine,” Namjoon cuts him off and Seokjin laughs. 

 

He looks at the other man and sees that his face is much darker than it was before, so Seokjin takes some pity on him and stops asking. 

 

They finish up dinner and even though some tension has bled out of Namjoon, Seokjin sees his eyes darting everywhere. He laughs internally, even though he really wants to ask about it. 

 

They’re washing dishes when Seokjin decides to start his shit again, “I think it’s kind of hot, Namjoonie,” Namjoon is wiping his hands. He pauses his movements to throw the dish towel at Seokjin.

 

“Shut up,” Namjoon yells, walking out of the kitchen and Seokjin cackles and follows him into the lounge. 

 

They end up watching Twilight. Or talking over it. 

 

Yeah, mostly talking over the film and laughing at the terrible writing. 

 

Seokjin barely makes it to bed, but when he does - he knows the cheap wine didn’t affect him nearly as much as it should have. 

 

Namjoon asks him stupid questions and Seokjin googles them and they fall asleep on the same pillow, talking about all the things that don’t matter. 

 

Chapter 11: In Which The Tea is Lacy and Black

Notes:

IT IS FINALLY HERE

THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR -

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE NEVER WROTE A SEX SCENE IN MY LIFE, SO CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM ONLY BECAUSE I WILL CRY (also, there are too many names for penises?? and wtf is wrong with the word 'penis'? its a weeny bro don't get touched)

(if you were waiting for feelings, please wait longer)

Thank y'all for reading! I am sending you love and many kittens (unless you're allergic, then I'm sending multiple bees cause bees are the knees)

“You’re a grown man, how the fuck can you not skate?” Seokjin is lacing up Namjoon’s skates that they’ve rented out. Jimin and Jeongguk are already on the ice, spinning circles around Taehyung.

Jeongguk hadn’t wanted to do anything for his birthday since it fell on a Wednesday this year (to his partners’ horror). 

However, Namjoon had handed him a crystal tower of Garnet (“He needs it, trust me,” and so Seokjin did). 

Seokjin gifted him a terribly wrapped Xbox game he’d been eyeing. 

Namjoon snaps back, “I’m sorry I don’t spend my weekends ice-skating, Jin,” Seokjin laughs and taps his thigh when he’s done. 

 

“Okay, you’re going to have to balance really well,” he instructs. 

 

Namjoon stands and immediately wobbles, Seokjin steadies him. 

 

“What if I fall and someone skates over my fingers?” Namjoon worries, waddling behind Seokjin with his hands on his shoulders to keep him upright. 

 

“I’ll get you those robot prosthetics,” Seokjin teases. 

 

“Hyung, no - I’m not getting on the ice-”

 

“I’m kidding, Namjoon-”

 

“No-” Seokjin feels Namjoon’s hands release his shoulders. 

 

“Come on, you two!” He hears Taehyung call from the rink, “I’ve already made a lap!” He’s sliding along the barrier and using his arms to move himself forward. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “We’re coming!” 

 

“Come on, Namjoonie - Tae already went ‘round and he can’t skate for shit-”

 

“Hey!” Tae shouts from behind him. 

 

Namjoon looks at him warily, like a young kid and not at all the business monger his father has been grooming for years. 

 

Seokjin holds out his palm, “I got you,” he prompts Namjoon to take his hand. 

 

Namjoon hesitates and looks at his upturned palm, “You better not let go,” Namjoon grabs his hand and Seokjin feels how warm he still is - despite being in such a cold place. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “I won’t!” 

 

“Promise?” Seokjin would laugh if Namjoon didn’t look so serious. 

 

“Promise, Namjoonie,” he squeezes Namjoon’s hand and turns to pull them onto the rink. 

 

Jimin and Jeongguk are on them the second they meet the ice and Namjoon has a steel-grip on Seokjin’s hand. 

 

“Wait! I’m coming!” Tae yells from a few metres away and his legs are stock-still as he pulls his body along the barricade. Seokjin laughs at his determination.

 

“Stay there, we’re coming!” Jimin yells and Seokjin looks at Namjoon whose eyes are wide. 

 

“Come on, Namjoonie,” Seokjin skates around to face Namjoon without letting go of his hand. 

 

“You can’t skate?” Jeongguk asks, big doe-eyes looking up at Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon barely looks at him, staring directly ahead at Tae, “No,” he answers simply. 

 

“Come, we’ll teach you,” Jimin grins as he skates backwards in front of them.

 

Jeongguk joins him, “Yeah, Seokjin can’t skate either,” Seokjin snaps his head up from concentrating on Namjoon’s slow movements. 

 

“Shut it! I can skate better than you!” Jeongguk sticks out his tongue and twirls around to face Tae. 

 

Taehyung and Namjoon end up getting those little helpers that kids use and Namjoon barely strays from the edge of the rink, and Seokjin doesn’t stray far from Namjoon. 

 

Tae, however, is comfortable slipping and sliding hazardously across the entire rink. He’s laughing like a kid that’s had too much candy and Jimin and Jeongguk stay around him like fairies, moving lightly. 

 

Seokjin laughs hard when he tries to keep up with the other two and his legs would move out of his control, “You can go hang out with them,” Namjoon tells him, and he’s hunched over, trying to stay balanced on the helper. 

 

Seokjin frowns and shakes his head, “Nah,” he tells Namjoon. It’s nice hanging out with Namjoon, he decides. 

 

“So, Namjoonie, what colour did you wear today?” Seokjin grins brightly at the other man. 

 

Namjoon snaps his neck around to glare up at him, “Shut up,” Seokjin watches as his cheeks get darker. 

 

“I think the maroon ones are my favourite,” says thoughtfully and takes a chance - he pats Namjoon’s ass. 

 

Namjoon suddenly glides forward on the helper, “Lucky for you then,” and moves towards the centre of the rink. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Wait! Are you wearing them?” Seokjin catches up quickly. 

 

“Jimin, please teach me - Jin is depraved,” Jimin laughs and skates over to help Namjoon stand straight. 

 

“I can’t help it, isn’t he sexy?” Seokjin teases and sends a wink to Namjoon. 

 

Jimin had been more welcoming and not so wary of Namjoon since they’d arrived. He’d talked to him and been his usual bubbly self. 

 

“Wanna race, Hyung?” Jeongguk asks and he’s smiling, but evilly. 

 

“I wanna race!” Taehyung yells, getting up from the ice, legs slipping as he tries to get a grip.

 

“Sure,” Seokjin says and skates over to help him up. 

 

“Fastest lap?” Jeongguk suggests and Jimin groans.

 

“What?” Namjoon asks innocently. 

 

“Everything has to be a competition with them,” He answers Namjoon who's currently hanging off his shoulder. 

 

“It’s not!” Jeongguk whines. 

 

“Yes, it is!” Tae finally meets their gathering.

 

Seokjin scoffs, “As if there’s any competition,” Seokjin rings around the youngest member. 

 

“Fine, Jimin-ssi - time us,” Jeongguk instructs his partner. 

 

“No!” Tae whines. 

 

“Why? Got something to prove, Kookie?” Seokjin teases. 

 

Jimin sighs and pulls out his phone and Namjoon tells them to get into position. They help Tae to the side of the rink and Jimin lugs Namjoon along. 

 

“On your marks!” Namjoon announces. 

 

“Ready to eat it, old man?” Jeongguk grins at Seokjin. 

 

“Guys, be nice!” Tae tells them. 

 

“Tae and I’ll wait for you when I’m done dusting your ass, young cricket,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Get set!” Namjoon's voice booms. 

 

“Go!” Jimin yells. 

 

They’re off and Seokjin moves around the rink with ease, sliding past and around the people in his way. He catches Jeongguk’s black sweater from the corner of his eye and leans forward to speed up. 

 

He laughs when he looks across and Tae is just past their starting point and Jimin is cheering him on. 

Namjoon is standing upright now and Seokjin can’t tell where Jeongguk is as he rounds the rink towards their finish line (which is essentially Jimin). 

 

He’s going a bit faster than he usually does but he isn’t scared, the air is cold and his cheeks are probably red. 

 

He glides towards Namjoon now, trying to slow down - but he doesn’t have enough traction on his skates -

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

 

And they’re on the ground. Well, Namjoon is on the ground and Seokjin is on Namjoon. 

 

“Sorry,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“It’s cold , get off,” Namjoon tries to shove the other man off. Seokjin is having none of it and presses his weight further onto Namjoon, not caring where they are. 

 

“Only if you tell me what colour you’re wearing,” he negotiates.

 

Despite lying on a thick slab of ice, Seokjin watches his cheeks turn colour again, “You look cute when you blush, Namjoonie,” he smiles and despite himself, he leans down to peck Namjoon on the nose. 

 

Namjoon scrunches up his nose, “Who said I’m wearing them?” 

 

“Oh, so they are yours?” 

 

“Why? Gotta kink, Hyung?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin’s heart speeds up a bit. 

 

“Depends,” Seokjin grins down at the other man and their noses touch each other. 

 

“On?” Namjoon asks and quirks his head like a bird. 

 

“On the colour you’re wearing,” Seokjin doesn’t know where this extra boost of confidence is coming from. He supposes it might just be the comfort that has grown around him and Namjoon over the past few weeks.

 

They’re just teasing, Seokjin knows that. 

 

But then Namjoon looks at him thoughtfully, “Black,” and he waits for Seokjin to react. But the only thing reacting is Seokjin’s dick. 

 

“O-oh,” his voice comes out crackly. 

 

He’s teasing you, idiot -

 

“Jin! Get up, Namjoon-ah’s gonna get frostbite on his ass,” Jimin calls out. 

 

Seokjin snaps back to the present moment and his mind briefly leaves the thought of Namjoon wearing panties and he gets up. He helps Namjoon to his feet and Namjoon avoids his eyes. 

 

“Who won?” Seokjin asks the boys. 

 

“I didn’t start the timer,” Jimin laughs. 

 

“It’s alright, we don’t wanna embarrass this little one,” Seokjin skates over to pinch his cheek and Jeongguk slaps his hand away. 

 

“Whatever,” Jeongguk crosses his arms. 

 

“I won!” Tae screams and it breaks the tension immediately. 

 

“You’re right, baby!” Jimin grins widely at his partner. 

 

Dinner is a short affair. They grab some burgers and fries; Seokjin and Jeongguk inhale theirs in no time. Tae picks apart his food and Jimin and Namjoon eat at a respectful pace. They sit and chat about their week. 

 

They find an ice-cream stand in the mall and order cones, which they’re eating now. 

 

That reminds Seokjin, “We didn’t eat the ice-cream last night,” he tells Namjoon.

 

Namjoon looks over with a chocolate ring around his mouth, “Oh, yeah - we can eat it tonight,” he shrugs. Seokjin leans over with a napkin to wipe away the mess. 

 

Seokjin sees a little shop with video game paraphernalia, “Hey, guys - I’m gonna go check that place out,” he points to the store. 

 

He turns to Namjoon and sticks out his hand for the second time today, “Coming?” Namjoon takes his hand. 

 

Namjoon slips his hand between Seokjin’s fingers and together, they walk to the store. 

 

Namjoon pokes around the Pokemon section and Seokjin takes note of what Namjoon might like for his birthday. He’s spending a lot of time around the fire species, so Seokjin takes a mental note. Seokjin picks up a Toad plushie and Namjoon says it looks like him. 

 

Seokjin threatens to drop his ice-cream down his shirt. 

 

They’re laughing at a Wario figurine when they’re interrupted, “Namjoon?” Seokjin whips around at the familiar voice. 

 

“Jackson?” Namjoon greets him cheerfully, “What are you doing here?” 

 

Seokjin watches them hug and Namjoon’s ice-cream almost hits the ground. 

 

“Hi, Jin!” He steps forward to hug Seokjin and it’s awkward, if he’s being honest. 

 

“How are you?” Seokjin tries.

 

Oh my god, what if this was Namjoon’s date all those months ago?

 

“Good, good,” he smiles, “Just came by for a little shopping.” he tells them. 

 

Seokjin watches Namjoon put a step of space between them as he talks to Jackson. 

 

Yeah, who the fuck goes to catch jellyfish with a random man? 

 

Who catches jellyfish in general?

 

“What are you two doing here?” he looks between Seokjin and Namjoon. 

 

“We went ice-skating,” Namjoon laughs, 

 

“With some friends,” Seokjin adds. 

 

Jackson laughs, “How’d that go?” He raises a brow at Namjoon. 

 

Seokjin feels himself getting hot, but not in a good way. 

 

“Could have been better,” Namjoon slides his hand from Jackson’s shoulder as he laughs. Seokjin watches it travel down to cup his elbow. 

 

He watches Jackson’s body turn into Namjoon slightly. 

 

He doesn’t even know what the fuck they’re saying but they’re talking. 

 

No, no - they’re fucking flirting in his face.

 

Seokjin feels the physical urge to punch them in the throat.

 

For no particular reason. 

 

You know the reason.

 

Not the point here. 

 

We don’t have time for mental confessions , he argues with himself.

 

Instead of causing a scene, Seokjin turns and goes back to the stupid Mario figurines. He tries to listen to what they’re saying and Seokjin can just imagine the fucker putting his hand on his boyfr-

 

Wait - no .

 

Namjoon is not my anything. 

 

Namjoon is my friend. Who is helping me. 

 

Seokjin picks up a stupid Yoshi plushie and decides Jeongguk might like it. He ignores the two men completely and the rage he’s feeling - and walks to the counter. 

 

“Hey, only gettin’ Yoshi?” the cashier asks with a pretty smile. 

 

“Yeah,” Seokjin smiles back, “Why? You got anything else I might like?” Seokjin asks politely. 

 

“Depends on what you like,” The man tilts his head. Seokjin laughs at the bluntness. 

 

“What’s your name?” The cashier asks. 

 

“Depends on who’s asking,” Seokjin leans on the counter just to get his point across and tacks on a smile. 

 

“Alex,” he answers and leans on the counter, keeping Yoshi between them. 

 

“Well, Alex, I like your accent,” Seokjin tilts his head to mirror the cashier. 

 

Alex grins, “Oh, if you like that, you should hear my number,” Seokjin ducks his head and laughs but its cut short when a body presses against his side. 

 

“Maybe next time, Alex,” he hears Namjoon speak and Seokjin’s blood is back to boiling. 

 

Alex does the polite thing and backs-off but Seokjin sees his eyebrow asking the question. 

 

He rings up the plushie and smiles at Seokjin on his way out. Seokjin makes sure he doesn’t look at Namjoon. 

 

They’re out with friends right now. He doesn’t want to be angry. 

 

But god -

 

“Where were y’all?” Tae asks, looking up from the table. 

 

“We ran into a friend,” Namjoon answers and god - even the sound of his voice. Seokjin wants to go home. 

 

Right fucking now . 

 

Jeongguk yawns and Seokjin praises every god he can think of. 

 

Why did he leave his car at his place? Fuck.

 

“Tired, my Kook?” Jimin asks. Jeongguk wobbles his head, not really answering the question. 

 

“You had a long week, pup,” Tae tilts his head and smiles softly at Jeongguk. 

 

They’d spoken about it while they were eating; he and Hoseok were taking in new clients at the dance studio they worked at and they’ve been busy with admin the entire week. 

 

But Jeongguk looks so detached that Seokjin wonders if it‘s more than just tiredness.

 

“Yeah, it’s actually getting late,” Seokjin says, he looks at his watch and sees it’s just past seven. 

 

He hands Jeongguk the bag with the plushie and he peaks inside, “Yoshi? Ah! Thank you, Hyung,” he jumps out of his seat to wrap Seokjin in a painful hug.

 

Tae pouts, “Y’all wanna come over?” he offers. 

 

Seokjin feels like the world’s biggest asshole when he says, “Nah, it’s okay - y’all go rest. Or have sexy saturdays or whatever,” he smiles and Tae’s pout turns into a grin and he wiggles his eyebrows. 

 

Seokjin pushes his face away, “Gross,” 

 

“It’s not gross, Hyung! It’s love ,” Jimin scolds him. 

 

“Wanna join?” Tae bites his lip and that goddamn eyebrow - 

 

“Get your own!” Namjoon jokes and the table falls into laughter. 

 

“Okay, so we’re leaving?” Jimin stands up and pats down his pockets for his keys. 

 

Seokjin groans internally, he’s going to have to go to Namjoon’s place for his stuff. 

 

They say their goodbyes and Taehyung kisses both Namjoon and Seokjin on the cheek. 

 

When he kisses Seokjin, he says, “Don’t worry about it, Jin-Hyung,” and hugs him so tight. But he’s gone before Seokjin can even ask what it was about. 

 

Seokjin walks with Namjoon, debating how weird it’d be if he called a cab right now and picked up his stuff from Namjoon’s place.

 

Instead, he gets into the car and thinks solely about packing his shit and getting out of Namjoon’s apartment. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t speak to him. 

 

Good . 

 

When they arrive, Seokjin follows Namjoon up the stairs and pushes past him when he unlocks the door. 

 

“Jin-“ 

 

No, because fuck Namjoon and his mother and his brother. 

 

Okay, maybe not his mother - he loves Yoon-suh. And he doesn’t have a brother. 

 

Fuck Namjoon . 

 

He’s packing all of the shit he left outside and is looking for his stupid llama slippers - 

 

“Jin, what’s wrong?” He hears Namjoon ask and Seokjin ignores him in favour of zipping his bag up. 

 

Fuck those stupid slippers, too . 

 

He pushes past Namjoon, not even looking twice at him. It’s drizzling outside but Seokjin is determined to walk home in the rain if he has to.

 

“Jin, what’s wrong? I thought we were gonna eat ice-cre-“ 

 

Seokjin is close to the lounge when he spins around, “Fucking ice- you know what, why don’t you go have ice-cream with Jackson ?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “What does Jackson have to do with this?” He’s much calmer than Seokjin feels right now. 

 

“Are you fucking kidding me? You were flirting with him in the fucking store, Namjoon,” Seokjin yells. 

 

“We weren’t-“ 

 

“Don’t even try to deny it, if you want to be with him - why the fuck did you agree to this? How is anyone supposed to believe us?” 

 

Namjoon is slightly closer now, “How is anyone supposed to believe us when you’re fucking getting cozy with Alex ?” He sounds angrier now. 

 

“Who the fuck is Alex?!”

 

“So you can go around and fucking flirt with everyone and I can’t even talk to my friends ?” Namjoon continues and his voice is louder now. It matches the clap of thunder that surrounds the apartment building.

 

Who the fuck is Alex?

 

Alex Alex A- 

 

Oh. 

 

“And how fucking dare you, Namjoon,” he steps forward.

 

“What-“ 

 

“You’re allowed to get all touchy-feely with Jackson and I can’t even pay for my fucking toy?” Seokjin can barely hear himself but his throat hurts with the volume. 

 

“Seems like you were giving him more than just your damn credit card, Jin ,” Namjoon says and even though he isn’t yelling, it sounds awful. 

 

“Oh, so you can go around getting your dick wet but as soon as I want to have fun - it’s a problem?” 

 

“Who’s dick is gettin-“ he laughs and it sounds bitter, “were you going to take his number or not?” He reroutes. 

 

Seokjin feels close to combusting. 

 

“ Who the fuck are you to ask me that? ” Seokjin presses out through clenched teeth. 

 

“Your fucking boyfriend ,” Namjoon steps right into his space. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t step back and then-

 

“You weren’t my boyfriend when you were flirting with Jack-“

 

Namjoon is kissing him. 

 

His hands are on both sides of Seokjin’s face and he’s kissing him. 

 

And- 

 

He pulls back, and looks at Seokjin with shock. 

 

“So-”

 

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to push forward and meet Namjoon’s lips. 

 

It’s rough and Seokjin knows his lips are going to be swollen tomorrow but he doesn’t fucking care. 

 

It feels good to be fucking kissed and he really can’t think past Namjoon slipping his tongue in his mouth. 

 

He is briefly aware that Namjoon is pushing him backwards but it’s only when his back hits a wall, he realises where he is. 

 

Their mouths haven’t even parted but Namjoon is muttering, “jump, jump,” into his mouth while his hands are running down the sides of his hips. 

 

So - Seokjin pulls back and uses Namjoon’s shoulders and the wall to lift his legs around his waist. Namjoon’s hands immediately wrap around the back of his thighs and squeeze. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t lean forward, but he does look at Seokjin intently and Seokjin squirms. 

 

But he’s too busy focusing on the fact that Namjoon can actually fucking carry him to pay any attention to what they’re doing. 

 

He leans forward to kiss Namjoon again and he feels it starting at the base of his stomach - that heat . Namjoon steps away from the wall but Seokjin isn’t worried about balancing himself because Namjoon has a pretty good grip on him. 

He runs a hand through the other man’s hair and tugs on it slightly, releasing his lip from between his teeth and Namjoon’s eyes open. 

 

Seokjin thinks Namjoon is about to say something when he’s suddenly being released on the bed - he didn’t even know they were in the bedroom.

 

“What the fuck, Namjoon-” but Namjoon is crawling over him and looking at him like he’s fucking prey and Seokjin’s breath is coming in hard and fast. 

 

Seokjin can barely see the wiry muscle strain in Namjoon’s arms on either side of him, but he looks at Seokjin like he’s going to eat him alive. 

 

The rain outside is relentless, and it falls heavily against the window panes. The sign across the street casts a red tint in the room and Seokjin sees how it lines Namjoon’s face. 

 

It’s been a good while, so Namjoon’s slow movements throw him into action and he pulls the collar of his shirt so their lips can meet again. And it's deep and messy and Seokjin’s teeth clang against Namjoon’s. 

 

Namjoon’s hot hands are under his shirt and he breaks the kiss to mouth at Seokjin’s neck. He’s not ashamed to say he angles his chin away so Namjoon has better access. His own hands are skirting down Namjoon’s ass and he slips his hands under the belt-line and squeezes his ass.

 

Namjoon bites him and Seokjin actually moans loudly. Namjoon stops and lifts his head to look at him.

 

His pupils are slightly dilated and his mouth is open and slick with spit and a particular image floats into his mind… 

 

And suddenly those faceless lips have Namjoon’s eyes and christ , he doesn’t want to blow his top before they do anything. Namjoon is back at biting at the sensitive spot just behind his-

 

“Namjoon-ah, Namjoon-ah, wait, w-wait,” Seokjin doesn’t even need to push him off because Namjoon is off him in a second. Seokjin can see his silhouette and when he focuses - his face. 

 

He looks so worried and Seokjin wants to laugh at him, “Are you okay? Do you-” 

 

“Give me a second, it’s been a while,” Seokjin laughs but it comes out more like a shaky breath. 

 

“Are you sure you want to-”

 

“Namjoon, yes - give me a second ,” he presses, trying to calm his dick down. Namjoon gets with the picture and blushes. 

 

He sits back on his heels and Seokjin mourns the loss of the pressure against his dick. 

 

But then Namjoon is unbuttoning his plaid shirt in-between his thighs and Seokjin thinks his brain goes offline for a moment. 

 

“Take your sweater off,” Namjoon instructs him and Seokjin looks at the bulge in his jeans strain against the zipper. 

 

Seokjin sits up to level himself with Namjoon, he slips his hand under the collar which moves since it's mostly unbuttoned and presses down to flip Namjoon on his back. 

 

It’s stupid because they were literally exchanging spit not even two minutes ago, but he is still angry.

 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” he snaps at Namjoon, straddling his hips. 

 

He rolls his hips against Namjoon once and throws his head back as pleasure shoots through him. 

 

Namjoon grabs his waist and lifts the material and when it reaches the joint, Seokjin lifts up his hands. 

 

Oh, shit - they are actually doing this. 

 

Namjoon runs his hands along his chest and sets his hands on his hips, “You-” 

 

Seokjin cuts him off by leaning down and sealing their lips together, Namjoon doesn’t hesitate to return the energy, groaning low in his throat when Seokjin uses his teeth to drag along his bottom lip. 

 

Namjoon uses his grip on his hips to keep him in place as he rolls his hips up. Seokjin can feel his cock twitch painfully against his jeans. Namjoon rolls him over onto his back but it’s much more graceful than Seokjin’s attempt. 

 

“Namjoon, fuck-” another grind, and he moves his mouth over the joint on his neck and shoulder, “please,”

 

“What?” Namjoon doesn’t even stop his assault on his neck. 

 

With the red lights flooding the room and the heavy rain pounding against the walls, Seokjin feels like screaming; he's frustrated . 

 

“Just - just,” he breathes and grips Namjoon’s hair tightly. 

 

Namjoon lifts his head up and Seokjin leans forward to kiss him but Namjoon pulls his head back. Seokjin looks up into his eyes, “Wh-” 

 

“What do you want, princess?” and Seokjin’s entire brain leaves for vacation.

 

He hopes it enjoys Greece.

 

Namjoon noses at his cheek, “Want me to take care of you?” Seokjin is lost for words, because this is Namjoon. And it’s Namjoon’s voice, deep and huskier than usual but-

 

But what Namjoon is this ?

 

Seokjin comes back to himself, “I’m not your fucking princess-”

 

Namjoon laughs and licks the side of his jaw-  Seokjin feels that go straight to his neglected dick. 

 

He knows he’s close to panting and Namjoon places one kiss on his jaw before facing him. He will not let Namjoon - 

 

Namjoon pulls wrist and holds them beside his head, he leans down and Seokjin gets ready for Namjoon to kiss him and give him some sort of friction but he stops just short of his mouth. 

 

He rubs the inside of his wrist and moves to mouth at Seokjin’s ear now, “Tell me what you want,” he bites Seokjin’s earlobe gently before pulling back. Seokjin can actually feel himself shake like a damn virgin.

 

“ Namjoon ,” he can’t believe he’s fucking begging Namjoon. 

 

“I don’t know what you want, Jin,” he sounds nonchalant but Seokjin knows he’s just as affected. 

 

“Namjoon, I have not been fucked in over two years , either fuck me or I’ll do it myself,” and that should have been embarrassing in and of itself, but the noise he makes when Namjoon reaches down and cups him -

 

He wants to crawl in a hole. 

 

“There we go,” Namjoon says and Seokjin can’t think past the relief he feels when Namjoon pops the button on his jeans. 

 

“Better?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin glares in reply. 

 

Namjoon reaches into his pants and Seokjin whines . 

 

He’ll give a shit later, right now Namjoon needs to get his dick in Seokjin or he might actually combust into flames. 

 

“Namjoon, stop- please, I can’t-“ he grabs the other man’s wrist and Namjoon looks up at him. 

 

“Too much?” Namjoon asks tentatively. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Please just fuck me,” and he feels so close to crying it’s not even funny. 

 

Something switches in Namjoon, because he’s off the bed in a heartbeat, digging through his bedside table. 

 

“How do you want to do this?” He holds a bottle of lube and a condom. 

 

Seokjin’s heart stammers in his chest when he puts a knee on the bed, “What?” Seokjin lifts himself on his elbow. 

 

“Do you want to bottom?” Namjoon asks as if he’s being dense. 

 

“If it wasn’t obvious, yes , Namjoon,” Seokjin deadpans and Namjoon retaliates by throwing the condom packet at him. 

 

“Don’t get bratty,” Namjoon warns, and crawls between Seokjin’s legs, “Are you clean?” 

 

Seokjin sticks his tongue out, “I’ll do what I want,” he says, “And yes, I got tested last month,” he answers. 

 

The other man lifts a brow, “Me too, but it was two months ago,” 

 

“Did you-” But Namjoon cuts him off with a shake of his head. 

 

“Okay, can we move this along?”

 

Namjoon lifts a brow but doesn’t comment. He slips Seokjin’s jeans off, and it takes a little more effort than it should. 

 

“If you could just lift your leg-“ 

 

“It’s already lifted, Namjoon- what the fuck do you want,” Seokjin’s ass is half in the air and he’s laughing because the jeans don’t want to leave his right foot. 

 

“Just leave it- leave it ,” he tells the other man and Namjoon halts his movements and focuses on Seokjin’s underwear. 

 

“Kinda feeling exposed here,” he puts his hands on his stomach but it does nothing to soothe him. 

 

“Oh,” Namjoon moves backwards and off the bed. He starts unbuckling his belt and then his jeans are on the floor with a dull thud. Seokjin wriggles his foot out of the pant leg. 

 

“Are you wearing-” Seokjin’s jaw drops. 

 

“I told you I was!” Namjoon consciously drops his hands to cover the lacy underwear he’s wearing. 

 

Seokjin moves to sit up, gazing in wonderment and moves Namjoon’s hands out of the way. 

 

“I know,” he looks up at the other man, “It’s so pretty,” his eyes are back and transfixed on the soft material straining against Namjoon’s cock.

 

He runs a finger down the front of the panty and Namjoon hisses. 

 

“You can ogle me another time - can we-” Namjoon whines and Seokjin cuts him off, 

 

“Yeah, yeah-” he manages, sounding breathless and he reluctantly moves back to lie on the pillows. 

 

Namjoon pulls the panties down and Seokjin wants to cry, because finally - this is taking forever. Namjoon is well endowed and his dick is thick and cut and -

 

“Stop staring!” Namjoon scolds as he kneels between Seokjin’s legs. 

 

I’m gonna suck that dick.

 

You’ve literally taken bubble baths with him, why is his dick a surprise? 

 

I was child - I wasn’t looking at his -

Namjoon wastes no time in abruptly swiping Seokjin’s underwear off. Namjoon strokes him and Seokjin watches with his mouth hanging open, “ Namjoon ,” 

 

“Okay, okay,” he scrambles on the bed for the lube. 

 

“You alright with me prepping you?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin pauses. 

 

They’re about to have sex . 

 

Somehow, the thought of Namjoon’s fingers in his ass is more intimate than having his dick in there.

 

But he’s so fucking desperate and he feels like he’s going to burst, so he nods and spreads his thighs further. 

 

And christ, Namjoon looks hungry . 

 

He squeezes the lube bottle and covers his fingers, “It’s warming,” he tells Seokjin.

 

“I don’t give a fuck if you’re using Deep Heat ,” Seokjin urges; Namjoon laughs and reaches down. 

 

“You need to relax,” Namjoon tells him gently. 

 

“You rel-ax!” he chokes when Namjoon circles his rim, slicking it with lube. 

 

“Breathe, okay-” 

 

“I’m not a virgin-” 

 

“Oh, really ?” Namjoon looks at him.

 

And he really should have relaxed because Namjoon is pushing a finger in and it burns .

 

He throws a hand over his eyes to stop his eyes from watering. 

 

“Must I stop?”

 

“No! No - it’ll get better- it’s just been a while,” Seokjin breathes deeply and focuses on relaxing himself. 

 

Namjoon adds a second finger after a few minutes.

 

“ Shit -” Namjoon mutters under his breath. 

 

Seokjin looks up, “What?” 

 

“You’re really tight,” Namjoon says and Seokjin notices him fisting his own cock. 

 

And then Namjoon crooks his fingers and Seokjin squeaks. 

 

“Fuck, fuck - Namjoon, I’m ready, I’m rea-” 

 

“My dick is bigger than two fingers, Hyung,” Namjoon sounds like he’s gritting his teeth. 

 

“ Please ,” Seokjin whines low when Namjoon scissors his fingers to add a third. 

 

Seokjin breathes through it. 

 

“That’s it, baby,” Namjoon whispers, “like that,” he’s watching his fingers disappear in Seokjin, hissing every so often when he clenches. 

 

Seokjin reaches down to touch his cock but Namjoon whacks his hand away, “Namjoon, please ,” he sobs.

 

Namjoon stops his ministrations, “You sure?” He looks at Seokjin and -

 

“Namjoon, I swear to fuckin-” he hisses as Namjoon pulls his fingers out. 

 

He watches Namjoon rip the condom packet open hastily, “Calm down, I’m still here,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Shut up,” Namjoon says as he rolls the condom on and strokes himself and Seokjin’s mouth dries up. 

 

“Ready?” Namjoon pours out more lube and lathers it along his dick. 

 

Seokjin nods and grabs his cock, squeezes at the base as Namjoon presses the head against his entrance.

 

 “ Fuck ,” Namjoon swears under his breath. He presses a little harder and there’s so much pressure and Seokjin’s eyes are watering. 

 

“It’s okay, I’ve got you, I’ve got you,” Namjoon whispers, “tell me if I need to stop,” and Seokjin feels a hand running through his hair. 

 

Once Namjoon bottoms out, Seokjin allows himself to relax and adjust. 

 

“Fuck,” the air whooshes out from his chest. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Namjoon asks him. 

 

Seokjin purses his lips, “Like I have a dick in my ass, Namjoon.” 

 

Namjoon laughs and it shifts his cock, Seokjin clenches around him, “Fuck fuck fuck, Jin ,” Namjoon drops his weight to rest on his arms next to Seokjin’s head. 

 

“Asshole,” Namjoon mutters against his neck. 

 

“Next time, don’t asks stupid questions,” Seokjin says, getting used to the girth stretching him out. 

 

“Are you going to move sometime this year? I was really hoping to see the new-” Namjoon pulls back and slams back in and it’s enough to shut Seokjin up, “ yes -”

 

Namjoon’s earlier gentleness is completely drowned by the rain hitting the panes and Seokjin wraps his legs around Namjoon’s waist. 

 

The slow grinds are lost -

 

It’s glorious.

 

Namjoon is fucking pounding into him and Seokjin can’t seem to loosen the grip on his shoulders enough to give his neglected cock any attention. 

 

“ Fuck , fuck- you feel so good,” Namjoon presses his mouth against Seokjin, and it isn’t really a kiss because Seokjin is moaning like he’s getting paid for it. 

 

“ Namjoon , Namjoo -” Namjoon sticks his head in the crook of his neck, “ Please touch me - fuck ,” Namjoon’s angle changes as he shifts to move his hand between them. He lifts Seokjin’s left leg onto his shoulder, driving deeper.

 

Namjoon works Seokjin’s cock and hits him dead in the prostate with every thrust - his back is slowly arching off the covers and, “ Namjoon, god - yes, right there- right there ,” he throws his head back. 

 

He’s so close he can taste it and his thighs burn with the stretch. 

 

“ Fuck, you’re so tight - not gonna last ,” Namjoon groans and Seokjin would be lying if he said those noises weren’t pushing him closer to the edge. 

 

“ M’so close ,” Seokjin manages but it comes out like a sob. 

 

“ Come for me ,” Namjoon tells him and Seokjin can feel himself resisting. 

 

“ F-fuck me ,” Seokjin groans, “ say it again ,” he breathes. 

 

Namjoon leans down to kiss him. He whispers and it comes out raspy, “ Come for me, princess, ” 

 

It’s so damn dark in here so he doesn’t actually know if he blacks out for a few seconds, but he’s pulsing and his come is falling all over Namjoon - who’s stroking him through his orgasm. 

 

“ Fuck , fuck,” he mumbles, legs shaking.

 

Namjoon pushes forward to kiss him, still thrusting into him and stroking Seokjin, even though he’s emptied out. He feels his knee touch the pillow beneath him as Namjoon leans down to him.

 

Seokjin kisses him back and it’s lazy with Namjoon panting into his mouth. He moans softly at the sensitive brush and the other man pulls away. 

 

He mutters something that sounds like a prayer into Seokjin’s neck and he bites down hard as he pushes in deep and his hips still. Seokjin shouts at the jolt of pain -

 

Namjoon moans his name low and long against the sensitive area. 

 

He collapses onto him after a few moments, allowing his entire body to sink into Seokjin. 

Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, trying to centre himself. 

 

“ Fuck me ,” Seokjin breathes out after a while and Namjoon’s shoulders shake with laughter. 

 

“Again?” Namjoon asks and pulls out. Seokjin winces at the sting.

 

Namjoon lifts himself and rolls off of Seokjin’s body. 

 

Seokjin cringes at the mess on his stomach. 

 

He turns his head to look at Namjoon, who’s already looking at him. 

 

“We gonna talk about this?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin notes how different his voice sounds now. 

 

“We were in the middle of an argument-” Seokjin starts but Namjoon huffs. 

 

After a moment, “Wanna shower?” The other man asks. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Gonna bath me?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “I’m still mad,”

 

“What the hell are you mad for?” Seokjin lifts himself on his elbows. 

 

Namjoon looks at him like he’s dumb, “You were flirting with the damn cashier,”

 

“ You were flirting with Jackson!?” He shoots back. 

 

“No, I wasn’t -”

 

“I may be stupid, but I know what gay flirting looks like, Namjoon,” Seokjin sees Namjoon off, “We’re adults and if you’re into Jackson; I’m not going to stop you from pursuing him,” 

 

Namjoon looks shocked for a moment, so Seokjin continues, “We were both sexually frustrated, so - it’s fine, we needed to let off some steam,” he breathes, because this is so fucking embarrasing.

 

“So, do you want this to happen again, or was this a one time thing?” Namjoon asks after a minute. 

 

Seokjin shrugs.

 

He’s not about to admit that he enjoyed it. 

 

“Want some ice-cream?” Namjoon asks, completely side-stepping the topic.

 

Seokjin nods. 

 

“I think I have some cookies and cream, and the stuff we bought yesterday, which flavour do you want?” Namjoon offers. 

 

“It doesn’t matter, it’s for my ass,” Seokjin replies and is met with a snort.

 

“I need to shower first,” Seokjin replies, touching the drying come on his stomach. 

 

Namjoon nods, pulling the condom off and tying the end, “Coming?” 

 

“I’m old, Namjoon,” Seokjin yawns, “carry me,” he sticks his hands out like a toddler. 

 

The other man throws the condom in the little bin at the edge of his bed and walks around, “I was joking-” 

 

But it's too late, Namjoon has one arm hooked under his legs and is lifting him off the bed, “Namjoon, put me down,” he instinctively wraps his hands around the other man’s neck.

 

Namjoon does not put him down until Seokjin has been thoroughly fucked for the second time in two hours.

Seokjin doesn’t know where the stamina is coming from, nor the recovery time. He suspects it has something to do with not having someone else touch him for years. It’s exciting to say the least. 

 

And he is saying the least, considering he can barely stand on his own two legs. Namjoon chased him out of the kitchen and wrapped him in a fuzzy blanket on the couch. His ass is aching and he’s leaning on the armrest heavily. 

 

Namjoon walks into the lounge with two bowls of ice-cream, “Need anything?” he asks as he hands the bowl over. 

 

“Can’t I put this on my ass?” Seokjin drones. 

 

Namjoon laughs and Seokjin glares at him, “I can draw you a hot bath? It helps,” Namjoon offers.

 

Seokjin has a question on his mind but he doesn’t know how to word it…

 

“Later,” he answers and Namjoon nods, “Can I ask you something?” 

 

The other man lowers the volume on the TV and nods, “Yeah?” 

 

“What was the ‘princess’ thing about?” Namjoon’s eyes widened. Seokjin laughs because this Namjoon is so different to the one who fucked him not forty minutes ago. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“It was… weird,” Seokjin shrugs. 

 

“You seemed to like it,” Namjoon raises a brow. Seokjin sticks out his foot to kick Namjoon in the thigh. 

 

“No, I didn’t,” Seokjin licks his ice-cream spoon, feeling the heat rise to his ears. 

 

“Your ears are red,” Namjoon snickers. 

 

“No, they’re not,” Seokjin fixes his gaze on the TV and covers his ears.  

 

They found the second movie in the Twilight collection and Namjoon raises the volume so they could hear better. 

 

“Bella’s stupid,” Namjoon comments once their bowls are cleared. 

 

“I agree, but why?” 

 

“Because, she’s literally - what? Seventeen?” Seokjin nods, “And she’s heartbroken over a boy,” Namjoon finishes. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Didn’t you say you wrote a song because you were heartbroken?” 

 

“Not the point, I didn’t fall in love with a vampire,” 

 

“Okay, what would you do?” Seokjin tries. 

 

“I don’t know, but I’d definitely go back to school and not jump on some random dude’s bike,” Namjoon says. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “I would have been a bitch.” 

 

“How?” 

 

“Well, firstly, I would have exposed them and told everyone that they were vampires,” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “and then?” 

 

“And then I would have asked Laurent to turn me so I could go whip Edward’s ass,” he finishes. Namjoon laughs. 

 

“But then you’re immortal, Hyung,” Namjoon counters and Seokjin pauses. 

 

“At least I wouldn’t be defenceless against the red-head,” Seokjin thinks aloud, “And who wouldn’t wanna see this face for all of eternity,” he waggles his eyebrows. 

 

“You wouldn’t get bored?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin hums, “Well, I suppose if I’m with the right people, it wouldn’t get boring,” he tells Namjoon, “And writers will always write - so, I’ve got that,” Seokjin answers. 

 

“What about you?” he asks Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon seems to absorb the question, thinking about it deeply, “Maybe, everything always changes - but,” he shrugs. 

 

“But what?” Seokjin prompts. 

 

“Could you be in love for eternity?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I’m just thinking, they’re frozen - their entire body, including their brain and whatever, right?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin has no idea what he’s talking about but he nods along. 

 

“Yeah, so how can Edward be in love when he physically can’t process it?” Seokjin finally catches up and he feels like he’s been slapped. 

 

He looks at the screen, “Stop ruining the movie!” He shouts. 

 

Namjoon laughs softly, “I think they already did that,” he shrugs. 

 

“Did you not see the wrench-to-pizza transition?! That is art , Namjoon,” Seokjin fights for no reason at all. 

 

“You’re right, Hyung - cinematic poetry,” Seokjin laughs at that. 

 

“The wolves are also hot - so,” Seokjin adds on. 

 

“Rosalie is the star of the show here,” Namjoon tells him. Seokjin can’t really argue with that, her character is iconic. 

 

“I will not stand for this Charlie slander,” Seokjin points at Namjoon. 

 

“I didn’t say anything about Charlie!” Namjoon pouts. 

 

Seokjin just purses his lips and looks past the curtains to the balcony. 

 

“The rain stopped,” he notes. 

 

Namjoon hums, “It was raining heavily, I think the clouds are all dried up,” he laughs. 

 

Seokjin blushes deeply, he was a bit too occupied to notice the fucking weather patterns. 

 

He can feel the other man staring at him, so he turns and snaps at him, “What?” 

 

But he notices Namjoon’s eyes aren’t on his face, instead somewhere on his neck area. Seokjin subconsciously lifts his hand to feel for anything, “Is there a bug?” and then a brush on a particularly sensitive patch of skin. 

 

Oh. 

 

“Fucking vampire,” Seokjin mutters and Namjoon guffaws. He reaches out to pull Seokjin’s arm.

 

“Lemme see,” Namjoon catches his wrist and Seokjin is being hauled to the other end of the sofa. 

 

“It’s just a hickey, just leave it-” And he’s lying with his head in Namjoon’s lap, freezing when he looks up. 

 

Namjoon has no drawbacks whatsoever, and immediately pokes him in the neck. Seokjin hisses and smacks his hand away. 

 

“Are you insane?” Seokjin looks up incredulously. 

 

Namjoon licks his lips, wetting them so they glisten softly with the lights of the TV screen. 

 

He doesn’t say anything and turns his attention back to the movie. 

 

Seokjin watches his Adam’s apple bob before turning to watch Bella run through a crowd of people to stop Edward from exposing himself. 

 

He doesn’t feel like thinking about the fact that he just slept with Namjoon, twice, and he’s actually going to fall asleep in his lap. 

 

He doesn’t resist the sleep hanging over his eyes. 

 

He doesn’t resist when he feels someone lift him off the couch and lay him in bed. 

 

He doesn’t resist when Namjoon curls around him. 

Notes:

The panty thing might not be tasteful for some of yall, understandably - however, once i hooked up with a dude and he wore em and personally, a big, bulky dude wearing delicate underwear???>>>> 10/10 MAGNA CUM LAUDE FLYING COLOURS -
He was also a furry but we move team

So, first written sex scene, what'd you think?

Chapter 12: In Which There Is A School Bag Full of Cheese

Notes:

TW: it's not that serious but if you are sensitive to sub-drop and stuff, I'd advise you leave the last few pages out

ANYWAY I missed the super full moon last night so I have to do rituals today

Are any of you guys spiritual? Or witches?

Sunday morning finds Seokjin with an entire bowl of Fruit Loops being shoved in his face. He’s still in bed, trying to check his messages when Namjoon barges into the room like an overgrown child and almost spills the milky bowl on his lap. 

 

“Good morning!” he chirps with a bright grin. 

 

“Why are you so awake?” Seokjin groans and takes the bowl. 

 

Namjoon laughs and sits back against the headboard, the milk in his bowl swirling dangerously close to the edge, “It’s morning, Hyung,” and Seokjin rolls his eyes at that. 

 

“Doin’ anything today?” Namjoon asks through a mouth full of colourful cereal. 

 

Seokjin was actually thinking about dropping by his fathers house to look for something. 

 

“Not particularly, no - why?” he answers instead. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Wanted to go see my mom, didn’t know if you wanted to come,” he turns back to the bowl. 

 

Why is Namjoon being so welcoming? It’s not like any of this is real. 

 

“Namjoon,” he starts and waits for the other man’s attentions, “about last night, I-” 

 

“I get it, it’s nothing serious, right? We’re making the best of a shitty situation,” he cuts Seokjin off. He frowns but nods. 

 

It’s not that shitty to him. 

 

“So, you coming?” Namjoon nudges him with his elbow. 

 

Well, if Namjoon is still inviting him after telling him they aren’t doing anything serious - surely it’s just friendly. 

 

“Sure,” he shrugs, “but I gotta go to my dad’s later,” Namjoon nods. 

 

They end up showering and Seokjin’s ass feels so fucking tender, he doesn’t know how he’s going to survive the week. 

 

He ends up wearing one of Namjoon’s sweaters over his shirt because it’s still chilly out. 

 

The drive to Yoon-suh’s house is filled with mindless chatter, coursing over vampires and takes a strange turn into socialism. Seokjin doesn’t mind though, it’s nice to talk. 

 

When Namjoon turns into the driveway, Seokjin sits up with a frown, “Is that-” 

 

“Yoongi?” 

 

Yoongi’s black SUV is sitting in the driveway, parked neatly to the side. Seokjin knows that number plate. And the “Baby on Board” sign he got him years ago. 

 

They both jump out of the car and head towards the house, frowns set on their brows. 

 

Namjoon swings the door open and quickly slips his shoes off - Seokjin follows suit. They walk to the dining room, and -

 

“What are you doing here?” Namjoon asks, sounding more confused than demanding. 

 

Yoongi pulls his face, “Having tea, what are you doing here?” Seokjin watches Hoseok come through from the kitchen, laughing at something Yoon-suh has said. 

 

His eyes widen at the sight of them, but luckily Yoon-suh recovers faster, “My sweet-face! What are y’all doing here?” She throws herself into Seokjin’s body.

 

“We wanted to come visit,” Namjoon answers, pulling her off Seokjin and giving her a kiss. 

 

Yoon-suh turns aways from her son and focuses on Seokjin’s neck like a hawk, “I see you got your consequences,” she reaches up and flicks the bruise on his neck. 

 

She laughs and Hoseok joins her, Seokjin throws a side-eye to Yoongi, “How was your week?” he tries to cover up the burning embarrassment. 

 

“Awww, Jinnie, we were just talking -” Yoon-suh takes her seat at the end of the table, “Yoongi-ah said you went ice-skating yesterday?” 

 

Seokjin takes a seat across from Namjoon, trying to angle his head in such a way that no one would look at his neck, “It was fun,” he coughs. 

 

“It looks like it was a lot of fun,” Yoongi comments and Seokjin angles a glare at him. 

 

A timer goes off in the kitchen and Yoon-suh scrambles out of her seat, “Coming now,” she tells them. 

 

As soon as she steps foot in the kitchen, Yoongi and Hoseok turn to them. Seokjin looks to Namjoon for some support but the fucker is looking like fucking Bambi. 

 

“Look, y’all are grown adults so-” Yoongi starts.

 

“You’re right,” Seokjin snaps, annoyance flaring. 

 

“ So , I trust you both know what you’re doing,” he pulls his lips in irritation as he finishes. 

 

Hoseok jumps in, “Yeah, but, did you guys talk about it?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Yeah, I guess?” He looks over to Namjoon. 

 

Hoseok nods, “So, y’all are dating for real now?” Seokjin chokes on thin air and he sees Namjoon frown deeply. 

 

“No? Why would you-” 

 

“ Maybe because you’re going around acting like you’re dating and now, you’re what? Sleeping together, huh?” Yoongi whispers harshly. 

 

Seokjin presses his lips together, but Namjoon beats him to it, “It’s casual, Yoongs - nothing to worry about,” he tries calmly but he sees their faces and knows that convincing them is going to take some elbow-grease. 

 

But ever the diplomat, Yoongi says, “If you’re sure,” before Yoon-suh yells for help. Yoongi rises from his seat and leaves the table in silence. 

 

“So, does it hurt?” Hoseok pokes the bruise on his neck and Seokjin swats his hand away. 

 

“Take a guess, Hobi,” he tells him irritably. 

 

“Sorry,” Namjoon mutters softly. 

 

Seokjin lifts his head and sees him looking sheepish. He unconsciously lifts a hand to his neck and rubs it, “It’s fine,” he liked it.

 

But this is so fucking weird.

 

“Hope y’all are hungry! I made lasagne,” Yoon-suh arrives with Yoongi, both balancing a huge casserole between them. 

 

“Christ, were you planning on feeding an army?” Namjoon comments as she starts dishing out for Yoongi. 

 

Yoon-suh smacks him with the spatula and they all laugh, “You can finish half of this alone,” she scolds. 

 

Namjoon rubs his arm and pouts, Seokjin sends him a pity wink across the table. 

 

Lunch is rowdy and Hoseok and Yoon-suh dominate the table with their laughs. Seokjin interacts little but absorbs the light atmosphere. He watches Yoongi talk to Yoon-suh with ease, as if he were talking to his own mother. Hoseok is almost falling off his chair with the over-dramatized stories Yoon-suh tells them. 

 

He knows Namjoon is watching him, just subtle glances every so often. Seokjin doesn’t pay it any mind. 

 

They have tea after and sit and chat about the news and everything in-between. Yoon-suh and Yoongi both agree that ‘the capitalist pigs can suck it’.

 

Just before they leave, Yoon-suh tells him that she’ll come to the city around the tenth or eleventh of September. He gives her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

 

Hoseok came in with Yoongi, so they part ways and Yoongi hugs him. They both looked shocked at the random turn of affection but got on their way soon enough. 

 

“Am I taking you to your dad’s?” Namjoon asks. Seokjin groans, it’s just after four but the weekend and the ice-skating is catching up with him. 

 

He lays his head on the window, “If you don't mind,” he sighs as he tells Namjoon. 

 

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“Yeah, just tired,” he answers, then, “Did you have a good day?” Namjoon turns his attention away from the road to frown at him. 

 

He looks at Seokjin for a moment, “I did,” he looks back to the road, “surprising but good,” he smiles at the road. 

 

“What are you doing at your dad’s?” Namjoon tries to sound casual, but Seokjin hears the curiosity in his voice. 

 

Seokjin can’t really tell him without ruining the entire plan, “Just picking something up,” he shrugs. 

 

“Must I wait for you? Then I can just drop you off,” Namjoon offers and Seokjin looks at him. 

 

“You don’t have to do that, aren’t you tired?” he asks but the other man just shrugs. 

 

“By the way, I wanted to ask about my mom- are you okay with the whole arrangement?” Seokjin huffs a laugh. He offered to throw the entire gathering at his place, let alone Yoon-suh’s stay. 

 

“Of course,” he replies and reaches out to draw a smiley face on the misted windows, “I mean, you can stay if you want but-” he sighs and lets the sentence dissolve. 

 

“You’re okay with me staying over for a week?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“I just said it was -” 

 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to impose,” Namjoon interrupts. 

 

Seokjin nods, “You’re not,” he reassures. 

 

Seokjin is tired and he wants a warm cup of hot chocolate in his hands. And his ass. His ass hurts. 

 

Namjoon turns up the radio and they drive to the city with Seokjin fighting to keep his eyes open. 

 

When the obnoxious gates of his childhood gates come into view, Seokjin sits up a little straighter and Namjoon reaches over to open the glovebox. He pulls out a set of keys and Seokjin frowns. 

 

He doesn’t even have keys to his father’s house. 

 

Well, technically he did - but he isn’t entirely sure where they are.

 

Namjoon presses a button and the big, black gates open with a groan. The yard is pristine and well-kept and so damn picturesque. Seokjin doesn’t want to be here. 

 

Namjoon parks the car near the main entrance and Seokjin looks at him. He takes in a breath, readying himself to go inside the house. 

 

He opens the door and steps onto the gravel, letting it crunch deeply beneath his feet. 

 

He hasn’t been here in years. 

 

“Must I come up with you?” Namjoon asks from behind him. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “No, I’ll be quick,” he hopes. 

 

He slams the car door and makes it up the patio and pushes open the grand, wooden doors - still polished and shiny as if they were installed yesterday. 

 

The entry hall is the same. Bleak white with a tall ceiling to make him feel small. He used to love lying in the foyer, or spinning in circles because it’d make him feel dizzy. 

 

“ Jin ?” he hears a familiar voice, weathered with age. He turns and finds his old housekeeper, Martha. 

 

She runs up to him and engulfs him in a hug so brilliant that he might have just melted then and there. 

 

“How are you!?” she greets him, smiling like nothing else. 

 

He answers her and ends up hearing all about her life in the recent years. Unprompted of course. She’s in the middle of telling him about her husband’s colonoscopy when he hears footsteps from behind him. 

 

“Jin-hyung?” he turns to find Namjoon peering in the door. 

 

Martha completely forgets the route of conversation and goes to hug the other man. He welcomes her with a sweet smile when she wraps him in a hug. 

 

“What are - did you come together?” she asks with an imposing frown. 

 

Seokjin coughs, “Yeah, I needed to grab something from my room,” he shrugs. 

 

Martha shoos him away while she talks to Namjoon and Seokjin feels bad about being grateful for that. 

 

He climbs the tiled stairs and almost slips on the last step. Down the hall, he finds the same gruelling art pieces he was forced to look at as a child. It just feels so empty. Enough to make his skin crawl. 

 

He finally arrives at the door of his old room, he pushes the door open without any preamble. 

It looks exactly the same. 

 

Everything is in the exact position he left it when he left. 

 

Even the ties on the cupboard handles. But there isn’t any dust, and it smells like fabric softener. 

 

Seokjin takes a step towards his old bookcase and kneels down to look through the titles. He finds what he’s looking for within a minute. 

 

Now, where to hide it? 

 

Seokjin throws open the doors to the cupboard, praying for a bag and he is met with his old school backpack. He lifts it and scrunches his nose. 

 

“ Why the fuck are you so big? ” 

 

Nonetheless, he throws the book into the old bag and zips it up. He’s just about to close the drawer when he notices a little box at the bottom. He pops the lid open with a finger and scans the items. It’s mostly just mixtapes and he can’t see much else. 

 

He has a cassette player at home (courtesy of Jeongguk), so he lifts the shoe box which is without dust (suspiciously) and tries to stuff it into his bag. 

 

He doesn’t look back when he closes the door behind him, not feeling at all nostalgic. Instead, entirely uncomfortable and moves fast down the stairs. 

 

Seokjin finds Martha and Namjoon still talking in the foyer, and Namjoon - bless his soul - actually looks interested in what she’s saying. 

 

Seokjin lifts the bag and it catches Namjoon’s eye, “Hey!” he chirps. 

 

“You got what you needed?” Namjoon asks. Seokjin nods. 

 

They escape Martha with a hug and a promise that they’d come around soon. 

 

“So, you gonna tell me what’s in the bag or should I guess?” Namjoon asks once they’re on the road again. 

 

Seokjin huffs, “Guess,” he shrugs. 

 

Namjoon talks before he has a chance to think, “Cheese,” he says and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Yeah, sure,” he chuckles, “just me and my school bag full of cheese,” Namjoon throws him a dull look. 

 

“Secret information for the FBI?” Namjoon tries again. 

 

Seokjin smiles, “Absolutely - it’s the aliens,” Namjoon swings his head to look at him. 

 

“Aliens,” He repeats. 

 

Seokjin nods sagely, “I’m sorry, this is still sensitive information so I can’t share much,” he hugs the backpack on his lap. 

 

Namjoon snickers, “Why were they there earlier?” He changes the topic completely. Seokjin frowns before getting with the programme. 

 

Oh. Seokjin doesn’t actually know why they were there. They knew what his birthday plans were… weird .

 

“Talking about the aliens,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

Namjoon barks out a laugh, “Is everyone a part of the conspiracy except me?” 

 

“Absolutely,” Seokjin replies. 

 

Namjoon huffs but leaves it at that. 

 

When they arrive at Namjoon’s apartment, Seokjin lugs the bag up. He slips on his fuzzy llama slippers and goes to the lounge, ready to dissect the shoebox. 

 

Namjoon follows after, sitting beside him and Seokjin can feel his body heat. 

 

Seokjin makes sure the book is somewhere in the back pouch, just in case Namjoon decides to be nosey. He pulls out the old shoe box, which is heavier than he expected. 

 

Immediately, Namjoon reaches out to move the lid. It’s sitting between them so it's a quick flip and then they’re looking at Seokjin’s mixtapes. 

 

And stuff. 

 

“Gimme a sec,” Namjoon wakes up and runs to the hallway. He comes back with an entire boombox, complete with two cassette slots. 

 

“Why the fuck do you have that?” Seokjin grabs it when Namjoon passes. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “I got it at a garage sale a few years ago,” he reaches out, “hand me the plug?” Seokjin does as he’s instructed and soon there are static radio sounds flooding the room. 

 

Seokjin turns it down. 

 

“Should we play ‘roadtrip’ first?” Namjoon picks up a tape from the box. Seokjin smiles and pulls more tapes out. 

 

One catches his eye, it’s labelled “Words To Say”. He frowns and flips it over. There’s nothing else written on the tape, so he sticks it in the deck and rewinds the cassette. When the whirring stops, he presses play and raises the volume. 

 

It sounds like movement and then-

 

“Oh fuck no-” He’s trying to press stop but Namjoon grabs the speaker from him. 

 

“ Okay, this is a love letter - but with songs ,” Seokjin wants to cringe into the abyss. He sounds young and green. And his voice is so high and he can hear the clear accent difference.

 

“I don’t even remember making this! Stop-” Seokjin is cut off with Namjoon’s ‘shhhh’. 

 

“I’m leaving!” Seokjin shouts, trying to pull the boombox back into his lap. 

 

“Awww, hyung! This is so cute!” 

 

“ If I give this to you, it means ,” a pause, “ well, the songs will tell you that ,” Seokjin wants to cry and Namjoon is laughing. 

 

“ So, first up is ‘I’m a Slave 4 U’ ,” Namjoon bursts out laughing again as the chords of the song play scratchily on the speakers. He might actually be tearing up with how hard he’s laughing. 

 

“ Shut up , Namjoon,” Seokjin folds his arms. 

 

But it’s futile because when Namjoon wakes up and starts dancing, Seokjin laughs so hard he can’t breathe. 

 

Namjoon is in the middle of doing a very terrible imitation of a bellydance when the song abruptly ends. Seokjin catches his breath.

 

The chords of “ I Swear ” by All-4-One start - Seokjin picks up a throw pillow and tries to smother himself with it. 

 

Namjoon grabs the pillow and pulls it away from Seokjin. 

 

“Let me die in peace,” he whines. 

 

“ I’ll build your dreams with these two hands- ” Namjoon sings with all the soul he can muster. 

 

He’ll never admit it, but Seokjin is giggling and Namjoon seems to like the sound, upping his antics.

 

Eventually, the younger man comes to rest beside him and they peruse the box. There’s a bunch of notes and photos. 

 

Seokjin laughs when he pulls out a picture of the four of them, looking like drowned rats. 

 

“What were we doing here?” He looks at the picture for any clues. 

 

“Didn’t we come back from a party in some dude’s truck?” Namjoon looks closely. 

 

“ What ?” Seokjin did no such thing. 

 

“Yeah, don’t you remember? We went to some senior’s party and we had no ride back home-” 

 

“Oh my god-” 

 

“Yeah,” Namjoon gives him an awkward smile. Seokjin laughs at the memory, they couldn’t have been more than fourteen at the time. 

 

Hoseok had made a friend that invited them to a party. They couldn’t exactly tell their parents where they were headed that night, so transport plans had been winged and-

 

“Wait, why are we wet ?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“We hiked all the way to Mcdonald’s and some guy in a truck offered us a lift home, don’t you remember?” 

 

“ No !? We got in the back of a random man’s truck!?” Seokjin looks at the photo. 

 

“Yeah, well - we were kinda in the middle of bumfuck nowhere and it was raining-” 

 

“That’s so-” 

 

“Dangerous?” Namjoon completes for him. 

 

“We were living on the edge, huh?” Namjoon laughs. 

 

“Wasn’t your mom mad?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Of course she was - but I think she lectured all of us when we got back,” Seokjin mirrors the frown. 

 

“I don’t think anyone remembers,” he continues, “you and Yoongi were trying hard not to throw up,” he laughs. 

 

“You and Hobi look like you’re already sleeping,” Seokjin points out.

 

“It’s the flash-”

 

“I’m sure,” Seokjin cuts him off with sarcasm. 

 

The song changes twice before any of them speak up again. 

 

“What year was this?” Namjoon is now looking at a photograph. He turns it to Seokjin and he laughs. 

 

“I have no clue,” he pulls the photo and it’s just Seokjin looking absolutely miserable behind a birthday cake, surrounded by a bunch of kids, one of them being Namjoon of course. 

 

“You’re so greedy,” Seokjin points out the younger man in the picture. He’s leaning over with chubby fingers to scoop away some icing. Namjoon nudges him with his elbow. 

 

“I was a growing boy-” 

 

“You still growing?” Seokjin snickers. 

 

Namjoon pokes him in his side, “Ow-” 

 

“You weren’t complaining yest-”

 

“Shut up!”

 

“Or what?” Namjoon challenges.

 

He looks at the younger man and lifts an eyebrow, “There’ll be conse-quences,” he blurts out a laugh before he could finish his sentence. 

 

Namjoon turns his head and Seokjin hadn’t noticed that the box had migrated to the floor and they were sitting flush against each other. 

 

In other words, Namjoon was much closer than he expected.

 

The laugh dies in his throat.

 

Namjoon doesn’t seem perturbed by their proximity, and Seokjin can taste the jump in electricity on his tongue. His tiredness from earlier eaten by the need slowly creeping into him.

 

He watches Namjoon’s eyes flick down to his mouth swiftly and then back to his eyes, “What do these consequences entail?” 

 

I was joking? I was joking, wasn't I?

 

You should suck his dick. 

 

Thank you so much. So fucking helpful as usual. 

 

Put your neck into it -

 

Seokjin wants to laugh but he can’t seem to concentrate anywhere besides Namjoon’s eyes. They’re dark in the muted light, it’s still grey outside. The clouds are heavy with the promise of rain - Seokjin licks his lips and gulps.

 

Namjoon tracks the movement and then his eyes are on his neck, “Well-”

 

“May I kiss you?” Namjoon asks quietly and Seokjin nods his consent, already moving forward to seal their lips together. 

 

It doesn’t take long before Seokjin is on Namjoon’s lap - they’re making out like a couple of teenagers and Namjoon’s hands are sliding under the sweater he lent him earlier. 

 

It’s slow and so lazy in the soft light of the fading day and Seokjin almost whinnies like a horse when Namjoon rolls his hips up to meet him. 

 

That same undercurrent that was lost in the ease and slowness is now reignited - but Seokjin still pulls away.

 

“What-?” Namjoon looks disoriented as he tries to focus on Seokjin’s face, “Are you okay?” He sounds a little more lucid and concerned.

 

Seokjin nods, “Yeah - but I can’t…” he squirms uncomfortably. 

 

Namjoon frowns and Seokjin can see it click, “Oh, we don’t have to, y’know?” Seokjin looks at him and mirrors his expression. 

 

Then Namjoon leans forward into his neck, “I can still take care of you,” Seokjin’s hand comes up behind his head, pulling on the overgrown strands of hair. He hums in response. 

 

“ Want that, princess ?” He kisses his neck. Seokjin arches himself further into Namjoon. 

 

He nods but Namjoon nips at the sensitive spot on his neck and he hisses, “Gonna need you to use your words, Jin,” 

 

Seokjin knows his eyes are heavy-lidded, because he barely registers when he says, “Yes,” and it sounds more like a sigh than anything else.

 

“There we are,” he kisses Seokjin on the mouth and Seokjin moans deeply when Namjoon reaches around him and kneads his ass. 

 

Seokjin feels Namjoon’s cock beneath him, hardening and straining against his pants and he makes a decision. 

 

“Namjoo- fuck,” he grounds down, “Namjoon, lemme-” but Namjoon is still moving and Seokjin can barely think straight when the friction is sending him into -

 

“What do you want?” Namjoon looks at him. Seokjin feels his hands squeeze his waist beneath his shirt. 

 

“Can I- can I-,” he stutters under the heat. 

 

Namjoon, whose patience is apparently for every other situation besides this one, snaps at him, “ Words, Jin ,”

 

Fuck it .

 

Seokjin pulls himself off Namjoon’s lap completely and lowers himself down on the floor.

 

“What are you doing?” He hears Namjoon ask but Seokjin is focussed. 

 

He spreads the other man’s legs further and moves closer to his crotch. Seokjin looks up through his lashes, “Can I?” 

 

Namjoon nods and immediately throws his head back. As if the sight was too much in itself. 

 

Seokjin moves forward, face coming in line with the obscure bulge. He blows a gentle breath on it-

 

“ Jin -” but Namjoon doesn’t get to finish his sentence because Seokjin puts his mouth over the bulge. He feels the heat sweep through the material as he mouths him. He presses his tongue against the material, 

 

“ Fuck ,” Namjoon hisses and Seokjin lifts his head and laughs. 

 

He takes pity on the other man and unbuckles his belt, breathing in the scent of him. 

 

Then, “What colour did you wear today?” He looks up and sees Namjoon gulp. 

 

He smiles and pulls the pants further down, he’s surprised to see Namjoon’s cock bare. He raises a brow, “You went to your mother’s house commando?” 

 

“Why are we talking about my mom right now?” Namjoon groans at the exposure, so he reaches down and fists his dick - Seokjin feels his mouth fill. He pulls the other man’s hand away and replaces it with his own, and the sounds of pleasure he receives are nothing short of thrilling. 

 

Namjoon nearly bucks off the sofa when Seokjin tests the head with his tongue, tasting the precome now spilling down. He swirls his tongue, meeting the underside, when Namjoon grabs his hair and yanks. 

 

Sensitive , he thinks.

 

He allows Namjoon to guide his head as he sucks his cock down slowly, “ That’s it, fuck -,” He can hear Namjoon hissing and panting above him, but it only serves to encourage him. He hums around the girth, trying not to let his teeth intrude - but he must admit, it’s been a while. And he forgot how messy this shit is. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t seem to care, he’s moving Seokjin’s head with the tight fist in his hair. Seokjin tries to gauge him, but he is really trying not to come in his pants and the pain throbbing from his scalp is absolutely no help. 

 

He reaches down to palm himself through the jeans, all the while trying to appease the vein on the underside of Namjoon’s cock. 

 

Namjoon groans and Seokjin thanks his lucky stars that his gag reflex is under control, as he bobs his head - trying to find a rhythm.

 

And fuck , at this point, Seokjin doesn’t care how sore he -

 

Suddenly, Seokjin’s head is being pulled back with force. He’s so disorientated, he tries to focus on what is happening.

 

He watches a long trail of spit droop between his lips and Namjoon’s cock, “Wha-” he tries. 

 

“ No touching ,” Namjoon growls at him. 

 

Seokjin looks up, desperately, trying to look for something to say. 

 

“ Hands off, baby - only on me ,” Namjoon tells him gently.

 

For the first time in his life, Seokjin actually listens to someone’s instructions. 

 

He feels like fucking crying when he places his other hand on Namjoon’s thigh. However, all thoughts of his own pleasure shoot out of his head when Namjoon says, “ There’s a good boy ,” and God -

 

“ Suck my dick, princess ,” Namjoon instructs, pointing the head of his cock to his lips, and Seokjin shouldn’t feel as giddy as he does. 

 

But Christ , does he suck Namjoon’s dick.

 

Seokjin cups Namjoon’s balls, gently rolling it between his fingers while his head bobs. He uses his tongue to place pressure on the spots that’ll make Namjoon cry louder and pull his hair a little harder.

 

“ Just like that, ” he pets him,  “ fuck,” he mutters and Seokjin hums and increases his pace.

 

He knows Namjoon is getting close because the moans are drowned out by breathy pants and Seokjin feels him throb dangerously in his mouth -

 

“ God, Jin - your mouth,” 

 

He knows Namjoon is watching him through it but when Seokjin blinks his eyes to focus on Namjoon’s own- 

 

“wait- shit, move -” he hears but Seokjin doesn’t halt, he just puts more pressure against the base and takes Namjoon in as far as he can -

 

He swallows once -

 

“ Shit, shit, shi -” and then he feels Namjoon’s come filling his mouth, but he doesn’t stop moving. He watches Namjoon throw his head back and moan low in his throat. He swallows as much as he can but he knows some made it on his lips. 

 

He sucks Namjoon dry, trying to lick the sensitive head of his softening erection when the other man hisses and pulls him up. 

 

Seokjin settles on Namjoon’s lap, immediately trying to gain friction against his neglected dick. 

 

“ You look so pretty sucking my cock ,” Namjoon kisses his neck and reaches between them to palm Seokjin through his pants. 

 

“ What do you want, princess? ” He pecks his lips and Seokjin whines .

 

“ Namjoon ,” he sobs, “ touch me -” 

 

Namjoon chuckles and Seokjin wants to scream when he feels Namjoon pull his pants down along with his underwear. The slight bite in the air makes everything feel like it’s been put under a magnifying glass. 

 

Namjoon takes Seokjin’s cock into a tight fist, leaning back and slowly jacking. Seokjin tries to fuck up into his fist but Namjoon tempers him with a “Mhm”. 

 

“ Look at me ,” Namjoon tells him but Seokjin keeps his head thrown back. 

 

“ Jin ,” and his hand stops and Seokjin gets with the programme and Seokjin might have come right then if it weren’t for the hand squeezing him at the base. 

 

He looks at Namjoon, breaths shaky and Namjoon resumes his movements, building Seokjin up so fucking good-

 

“ Fuck ,” he hears Namjoon mutter but Seokjin is too focussed on keeping his eyes opened. 

Suddenly, Namjoon’s other hand is in front of his face, “ Suck ,” and Seokjin’s mouth opens without any hesitation and he takes in two of Namjoon’s fingers. 

 

It should be weird. 

 

But right now he’s got two fingers in his mouth, trying to wet them with saliva; another hand stroking him all the while trying to maintain eye-contact with Namjoon and he can’t think of much else.

 

Namjoon pulls out his fingers and reaches behind Seokjin. His hand dips into his crease and Seokjin yelps when Namjoon circles his rim. 

 

“Namjoon, please - fuck , please,” he throws his head into the crook of Namjoon’s shoulder. 

 

“ Wanna come ?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin can feel his neck vibrate when he speaks. 

 

“Please, yes ,” he quietly sobs into Namjoon’s skin. It’s slightly damp with the exertion but he smells so fucking good -

 

It’s a lot of sensations, to say the least. 

 

Fuck - almost there-

 

“ I’m close, please ,” he can feel Namjoon’s fingers dip lower, and he presses down gently-

 

“ Oh, fuck- ” and he’s spilling onto Namjoon’s hand and clothes. His body shudders with the release, and he bites down into the juncture of the other man’s neck. 

 

Namjoon hisses and mutters soothing words, bringing Seokjin back down. 

 

He shudders once more and then completely dissolves on top of Namjoon. 

 

The other man pets his hair, “ That’s it, that’s it ,” and Seokjin tries to catch his breath. 

 

When the air has finally settled and Seokjin’s breaths are even, he stays in the same position trying not to think about the mess they just made. 

 

“I’ll get a cloth,” Namjoon mutters and moves his body, prompting Seokjin to shuffle onto the sofa.

 

He doesn’t know how long they were sitting like that. He doesn't know much right now.

 

Seokjin looks down and cringes at the mess, granted - most of it probably ended up on Namjoon. Dried come is always gross. 

 

He doesn’t know why he feels like shit after an orgasm. A really good one. 

 

Wait- no. He was feeling good and now he’s just not .

 

He doesn’t know why his hands are slightly shaky or why he feels like crying. 

 

But when Namjoon steps into the room, he swallows down the odd feeling. 

 

Instead of throwing the cloth at Seokjin, Namjoon crouches down in front of him and begins wiping him down with a warm face-towel. Luckily, nothing made it onto his clothes. 

 

He watches Namjoon and feels nothing. 

 

Well, that’s a lie - he feels like crying but he’s not going to let the other man know that. 

 

W ho the fuck cries after sex ? 

 

He doesn’t know why his head feels heavy or why he feels like crawling into a hole and never looking at the light of day again -

 

“Jin?” Namjoon taps his leg, and Seokjin zones into the present moment. Namjoon buttoned his pants up and everything. 

 

He sends the other man a small smile.

 

He tries to move to help him with the boombox, which is still blaring Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing”. Namjoon flicks the stop button and the silence invades him like he’s underwater.

 

He hasn’t moved.

 

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks from between his legs. Seokjin registers that he’s actually there . 

 

“Nothing,” he says but it was the last straw, and he feels a drop travel down his cheek. He half expects Namjoon to roll his eyes and tell him to stop crying for every fucking thing-

 

But he doesn’t. Instead, he lifts himself onto the couch beside Seokjin and wraps him up in a tight embrace. Seokjin doesn’t fight Namjoon, nor does he fight the tears now rolling down freely. 

 

He feels like an absolute idiot, because he doesn’t actually know why he’s crying. Just the fact that he feels extremely overwhelmed. Like there’s cotton stuffed into his head.

 

“You’re okay, Jin,” Namjoon soothes him, “you were so good for me, you know that?” 

 

Such a strange thing to say outside of sex, but it eases Seokjin some. 

 

Namjoon must notice, because he immediately continues, telling him all the sweet things Seokjin would never expect to hear from Namjoon. 

 

The other man places a kiss on his head once Seokjin’s sobs have subsided and Seokjin wants to burrow himself into Namjoon’s warmth.  

 

“Can I make you some tea?” Namjoon asks gently, and Seokjin realises he was just staring into space with his head on Namjoon’s shoulder; fiddling with the hem of his shirt. 

 

He shakes his head, he doesn’t want to move. Namjoon nods in understanding and allows Seokjin to just breathe. He lifts his knees so it sits on Namjoon’s lap and relaxes. 

 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Namjoon tries again and Seokjin nods blindly. Not really caring what the fuck Namjoon does, as long as he doesn’t move. 

Namjoon reaches to the side of the chair, and Seokjin tries not to lean on him too heavily. He rights his position and suddenly the tv is on and Namjoon clicks on the first suggestion. 

 

It provides something to look at and Seokjin doesn’t pay what they’re saying any mind. He watches the actors move across the screen and tries not to pay attention to any of his thoughts. 

 

After a while, he’s not sure, he clears his throat and turns his head up to look at Namjoon. Namjoon catches his eye and the thumb on his arm stops its musings. 

 

“Sorry,” he tells him.

 

Namjoon frowns and his eyes flicker between his, and then, “You don’t have to apologise for that,” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “I don’t even know what that was about,” he looks at the tv and settles his head back on its place on Namjoon’s chest. 

 

Namjoon is quiet for a moment, “Have you ever heard of sub-drop?” Seokjin frowns and looks up to face him. 

 

“Yeah? But we weren’t-” 

 

Namjoon smiles and nods, “We weren’t in a scene or anything, but it can still happen outside-,” Seokjin thinks. 

 

“I don’t get sub-drop,” he tries to reason more with himself than anyone. 

 

“I-“

 

Namjoon smiles and runs a hand through his hair, “It’s okay if you do,” but Seokjin knows that means actually defining what their doing outside of actually having sex. 

 

Namjoon leans down and pecks him on the lips and pulls back to look Seokjin in the eye, “I said it’s okay,” and Seokjin nods. 

 

“It’s okay,” he parrots, looking at Namjoon. The other man nods and places a soft kiss on his lips before turning the volume down on the tv. Seokjin blinks and then rests his head. 

 

They talk and keep the soft energy hanging around them like a blanket-fort. Namjoon makes him eat the leftover ice-cream and drink plenty of water. 

Seokjin doesn’t go home until the crickets are singing and the night is so dark he can barely see his hand. 

 

Namjoon walks him up to his door and doesn’t leave before leaving a soft kiss on his forehead and the promise of waffles for breakfast. 

Chapter 13: In Which Yoon-Suh Knows All About The Polymers

Notes:

how yall doin?

The week is a mindless rush of trying to get Namjoon’s ‘print’ in Seokjin’s apartment. Seokjin told him to just come stay with him on Tuesday morning over pink coffee and Sandy almost had an aneurysm. 

 

Namjoon surprisingly melds well in his space and Seokjin finds that he doesn’t quite mind waking up to terrible singing in the shower. They’d been too tired to even think about sex, however, there was an almost on Thursday night. 

 

Seokjin ended up on Namjoon’s lap in the middle of a popcorn fight and if it weren’t for the text Namjoon received, Seokjin might have been slightly less frustrated. Count on his own father to ruin the mood. 

 

Seokjin attaches a spare key to Namjoon’s car keys and Seokjin tries to not feel weird about it.

 

It’s been easier, though, since Namjoon chose to be responsible and take the guest room. It doesn’t help that they refused to go to bed on Wednesday night, talking about the stars and then Seokjin’s mixtapes. They both were irritable the next morning, waking up with a bad neck on the couch. 

 

Seokjin thinks about how much he thinks Namjoon fits in his life, along with the people he considers family. 

 

Speaking of, his birthday celebration is going to be held at a quaint little restaurant (as far as the reviews go), and Yoongi warned him not to get attached. 

 

As if . 

 

Yoon-suh is set to come on Sunday afternoon and that means they have all of Saturday to get their shit together. 

 

Seokjin managed to find a sweet little book restoration store, and the lady had promised to keep all the charm of the book. He’d asked her not to remove any of the annotations and personalise the cover. When he sneaks out of the office on Friday, his jaw drops when he touches the cover of the book. 

 

He opens it and finds the yellowed pages weathered as ever and feels the inscription on the cover. He’d added a little message at the end of the book as well, but he’s pretty sure Namjoon would be grateful either way. 

 

On his way back to the office, he debates giving it to Namjoon. It’s silly, because it’s his - however, it does feel intensely intimate. 

 

They didn’t have breakfast at the café this morning, since Namjoon had to be in early for some international meetings that Seokjin couldn’t care less about. So Seokjin woke up a little earlier to prepare some French toast to eat before they left the apartment. 

 

Namjoon had eaten and left Seokjin with a surprise kiss on the cheek before running out of the door with his satchel following after him. Seokjin leaves the lunch he prepared for him on his empty desk when he finally comes to the office. ( It’s out of courtesy that I’m making Namjoon’s lunches , he tells himself).

 

He also discovered Namjoon’s terrible habit of waking up devastatingly early just to run in the cold hours of the morning. Seokjin laughed at him when Namjoon tried to convince him to come. 

 

It’s just past four in the afternoon when his door opens. He’s talking to Hoseok on the phone about some potential costume party that Jimin is planning on throwing. Seokjin thinks he might come as a Power Ranger and Hoseok calls him old. 

 

Namjoon steps in the doorway, looking ragged and ready to pass out in front of Seokjin’s desk. He sits with a great big huff in the chair in front of his table.

 

“Hobes, I’ll call you later, okay?” 

 

“Okay, tell Namjoon-ah to answer his messages,” Seokjin laughs before wishing him goodbye and ending the call. 

 

“How did everything go?” Seokjin wakes up and rounds the table to sit on the lip of the desk in front of Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon just lifts his hands to his face and scrubs it down with a sigh, “I’m tired,” he says. 

 

Seokjin thinks, “I thought you guys were ready to start filming next month?” 

 

The other man nods, “Yeah, but the historical society doesn’t want us to mess up the location and now we have to either write up a new proposal or find a new location,” Seokjin nods and thinks about the period-drama. 

 

“Do you have to write it up?” 

 

“No, no - someone from marketing agreed to draw it up, but I’ll go over it before we send it,” He sighs, looking defeated. 

 

“How can I help?” Seokjin watches Namjoon look up at him. He licks his lips and then tears his eyes away. 

 

He shakes his head, “There’s nothing to be done, it’s been delayed,” he shrugs. 

 

Seokjin nods and then, “But thank you for offering,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

He doesn’t know what possesses him but he reaches down and pulls Namjoon’s arm up until he’s standing between Seokjin’s legs. And he hugs him. 

 

Namjoon is tense for a moment before relaxing into Seokjin, wrapping his arms around his neck. Seokjin doesn’t miss the opportunity to breathe Namjoon in. The day has worn his cologne off, but it’s still present underneath his natural scent. Everything is perfectly still for a moment. 

 

“Want me to cook tonight or do you wanna go out for dinner?” Seokjin asks once they’ve broken apart. 

 

“You’ve been cooking the entire week,” Namjoon shrugs, “we can get take out?” 

 

Seokjin chuckles and stands to shut down his PC, “Don’t feel like going out?” and Namjoon shakes his head. 

 

“Should I pick up some wine?” 

 

“Something stronger,” he tells Seokjin and grins. 

 

“My liver is crying, Namjoon,” Seokjin whines, picking up his phone and closing his notebook. 

 

Namjoon laughs and stands, strapping his bag around his chest. 

 

They end up in the apartment, popping the cork of a new bottle of blood-orange gin while they wait for the take out to arrive. Seokjin jumped into the shower after Namjoon, so they’re in soft pyjamas, feeling the week pass. 

 

“How much of this do you actually have?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin looks to see him picking up the bottle of gin while he gets the glass. 

 

He shrugs, “I think two more bottles,” he sets the cups down, “it tastes like soda,” he tells him. 

 

“How’s Yoongi?” Namjoon asks once they settle on the couch. 

 

Seokjin sips, “Good, I spoke to him yesterday,” about your birthday plans .

 

Namjoon frowns, “Who were you on the phone with earlier?” 

 

“Hobi,” he answers and picks up the remote, “he said you must check your messages,” Namjoon frowns at that and immediately gets up to grab his phone off the kitchen counter. 

 

“What did he say?” Seokjin asks, opening up Youtube and clicking on a random playlist. 

 

“New artist he wants me to look into,” Namjoon locks his phone and comes to rest beside him. 

 

“What do you do?” Seokjin asks.

 

Namjoon looks at him and takes a sip of his drink before answering, “I help Yoongi produce sometimes,” 

 

“And you write songs,” Seokjin adds. 

 

“Do you like it?” he asks after a lull. 

 

Namjoon frowns and watches the tv screen, “I do,” he says, “but I also like my job,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

“You wouldn’t pick?” Namjoon absorbs the question before shaking his head. 

 

He breathes deeply, “I like having a hand in artists’ dreams,” Namjoon says and Seokjin watches him for a moment. 

 

They talk idly until Seokjin’s phone buzzes and he goes to answer the door. They ordered from a South Indian restaurant, craving something warm. 

 

Namjoon is setting the table with plates and cutlery when Seokjin brings in the food. 

 

He pulls out the naan and stacks it on a plate while Namjoon opens the boxes to peek inside. 

 

“You ordered butter chicken?” he asks. 

 

Seokjin nods, “Wanna split? It’s a lot,” and Namjoon grins his appeasement. 

 

Namjoon ordered mutton biryani and they packed the take-out container and Seokjin immediately dishes from his. 

 

“I got samosas too,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

“Oooh, what samosas?” 

 

“I think this one is cheese and corn and this one is mince?” Namjoon ends up gobbling the entire packet of cheese and corn samosas - save for one, which he reluctantly slid over to Seokjin. 

 

Dinner is a quick affair, well for Seokjin. He just wants to go sit in the lounge with some gin, and talk. 

 

Who would have thought? He was actually looking forward to spending time with Namjoon on a Friday night. Namjoon takes his time eating - Seokjin waits though. 

 

They’re sitting in the lounge again, with a tub of ice-cream and a can of whipped cream sitting between them.

 

“What is mutton?” he wonders out loud and Namjoon almost chokes on his drink. It’s their third glass but Seokjin watches Namjoon’s eyes narrow as the alcohol floods his system. 

 

“Mutton is baby lamb,” he says proudly and Seokjin snorts. 

 

“What the fuck-” but Namjoon is giggling, holding onto the whipped cream. 

 

Some indie-folk music is playing and Seokjin listens as the artist croons to him about sunlight. 

 

“You should add this to your road trip playlist,” Namjoon tells him. Seokjin smiles and nods, trying to scoop the caramel ice-cream on his spoon. 

 

They talk about their week at work and Seokjin thinks about how he needs to wrap Namjoon’s gift. Namjoon has a serious frown on his face when he talks about stuff in the office and Seokjin really wants to smack the crease off his forehead. 

 

Then, “What are you gonna do for your birthday?” Seokjin asks, curious. 

 

Namjoon looks at him and frowns, “Nothin’ - mom’s coming, so maybe we’ll just eat dinner or something,” he shrugs. 

 

Seokjin purses his lips, “What do you want to do?” Namjoon doesn’t say anything in reply. 

 

“I don’t know,” he says after a while, “I mean I get to spend it with you gu-, my mom,” he covers.

 

That won’t do. 

 

“Fine, what do you want for your birthday,” he asks, trying to pull anything out of Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head and pulls his empty glass from Seokjin’s hands, “A new wind-chime,” he grins. 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes and follows him to the kitchen. 

 

Namjoon apparently does not know how to pour a drink because he fills half the glass with the spirit with a dash of tonic water. Seokjin laughs at him, “That kinda week?”

 

Namjoon nods, “I mean, I have been staying with you,” he throws Seokjin a cheeky smile. 

 

Seokjin feigns offence and smacks him in the arm, “I am a pleasure to live with, thank you very much,” he tests the drink, “ christ ,” he coughs and swallows the citrussy liquid. 

 

“I’m not this bad,” he tells the other man and Namjoon cackles, moving to the lounge. 

 

Once they settle, Seokjin tries again, “What do you want for your birthday?” 

 

Namjoon looks at him and lifts his feet onto the couch, tucking them under Seokjin’s thighs, “A platypus,” he says. Seokjin throws him a dull look. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Just a good day,” he tells him, “I don’t want anything in particular,” he laughs and it sounds uneasy. 

 

Seokjin nods, “Wanna do anything in particular?” 

 

“Why?” Namjoon lifts his brow, “got something planned?” he wiggles his brows and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“No, I’m not even gonna wish you,” he sticks out his tongue. 

 

“Awwww, Hyung, you don’t wanna gimme a little lap dance for my birthday?” Seokjin’s head swings to glare at him. 

 

He picks up his phone, “What are you doing?” Namjoon wiggles his toes under his thigh. 

 

“Looking up where I can buy a platypus,” he glares at Namjoon. 

 

The other man laughs with mirth, throwing his head back and Seokjin watches his eyes go slight at the curve of his cheeks. 

 

“I was joking,” he pokes his toe into Seokjin’s thigh, “unless-”

 

“Shut it, Namjoon, I’m gonna tell your mother about all your dirty ways when she comes,” Namjoon laughs at that.

 

“You gonna tell her about how you like su-” 

 

“Why don’t you go to bed? You look very tired, Namjoon,” he cuts the other man off. 

 

“You gonna come with?” Namjoon giggles and Seokjin shakes his head.

 

“Actually, we can watch a movie in my room?” he suggests. 

 

Namjoon lifts his head a little, “Sounds like you’re trying to get me in your bed, Hyung,” he smiles mischievously and Seokjin rolls his eyes. 

 

“You’re such a terrible drunk,” Seokjin comments. 

 

Namjoon sits up and says, “Don’t act like you don’t want all of this shoulder-to-hip ratio-” but Seokjin pinches his thigh and Namjoon howls and almost spills his drink. 

 

Seokjin ignores him and wakes up, grabbing his glass from Namjoon’s hand, “Grab the gin and tonic water,” he instructs the younger man. 

 

Seokjin switches the tv off and the lights in the lounge, slowly waddling to the bedroom with the glasses in his hand. 

 

He switches on the heated blanket and is placing Namjoon’s glass on the left side of the bed when he walks in with the bottles. He puts them on the bedside table on the left and lifts the covers to slide in. 

Seokjin switches on the tv before putting off all the lights in the room, trusting himself to walk with only the light from the tv.

 

“Wanna watch Eclipse?” Seokjin asks, sliding beneath the covers. It’s getting warmer. 

 

Namjoon huffs, “Sure, why not?” he says. 

 

Seokjin frowns at his reluctance, “What do you feel like watching?” 

 

“No, no - anything is fine, I think I’m gonna pass out before it begins though,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Same,” he yawns, “we can have a movie marathon tomorrow?” 

 

Namjoon’s eyes blink slowly, “Mmmm,” 

 

“We can grab some snacks and stuff and I’ll cook something?” 

 

“Yeah, yeah,”

 

“And we can get matching shamrock tattoos on our asses?” 

 

“That sounds good,” Namjoon mutters, eyes straining against the light, slowly fluttering closed. Seokjin snickers at the sight and gets out of the bed. He picks up the cups and tries to stick the bottles under his arms as he walks to the kitchen. 

 

He rinses out the cups and places them in the dishwasher and leaves the drinks on the counter, deciding he’s too tired to do much else but crawl into bed. 

 

Namjoon is snoring lightly when Seokjin walks into the room, mouth agape, and completely dead to the world. Seokjin pulls his phone out from his pocket and snaps a quick photo before sending it off to the group chat with Yoongi and Hoseok. 

 

He settles underneath the covers, which has gotten warmer since he left. He turns to his side, opening up a text from his friend.

 

From Oppa at 23:12: isn’t that your bed😏?

 

To The Plastics at 23:12: isn’t it past ur bedtime at the old age home ? 

 

From Hobi at 23:14: ???

 

From Hobi at 23:14: is this still fake???

 

From Oppa at 23:15: 🧍🏽

 

From Oppa at 23:15: 😗💅

 

To The Plastics at 23:16: 🙄 good night 

 

From Hobi at 23:16: love u hyung!! 

 

From Oppa at 23:18: pls use protection

 

From Oppa at 23:18: I’m too young to be an uncle 

 

To The Plastics at 23:19: when were u ever young? 

 

From Oppa at 23:21: choke on Namjoon’s dick 

 

From Hobi at 23:21: I WANT NIECES AND NEPHEWS 

 

From Hobi at 23:21: IM GONNA SPOIL THEM 

 

From Hobi at 23:22: @Oppa I think he already has  

 

From Hobi at 23:22: that’s why he’s sleeping so nicely 

 

From Oppa at 23:24: every day u say things Hoseok 

 

From Hobi at 23:24: not my government name😭

 

From Oppa at 23:25: 💀

 

Namjoon shifts the covers with him and Seokjin feels the other man wrap along his back, sticking his leg in-between his own. Namjoon’s arm comes around his torso, tucking his hand beneath him and Seokjin feels his breaths, soft and liquor-stained, behind his neck. 

 

“You better delete that picture,” Namjoon mutters and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“I thought you were sleeping,” he says. The other man replies with a deep hum against Seokjin’s head. 

 

 Seokjin looks back at the screen and finds two pictures of baby carriers from Hoseok. 

 

From Hobi at 23:26: which colour? 

 

From Hobi at 23:26: I can customise them with ur surname 

 

From Oppa at 23:27: 😂

 

From Oppa at 23:27: y’all gonna double-barrel? 

 

From Hobi at 23:28: Kim-Kim???

 

Namjoon snorts behind him, “Kim-Kim,” he snickers and Seokjin joins him.

 

“I like the green one,” he mumbles, breathing deeply. 

 

Seokjin pushes his elbow back into Namjoon’s stomach, only eliciting a groan. 

 

To The Plastics at 23:29: y’all r so ugly 

 

To The Plastics at 23:29: Namjoon likes the green 1

 

From Oppa at 23:32: 😗

 

From Hobi at 23:34: I knew it 

 

From Hobi at 23:34: anyone know what’s up w/ jk? 

 

From Oppa at 23:35: ?? No why

 

To The Plastics at 23:35: what’s wrong 

 

From Hobi at 23:37: he’s been so weird at work

 

From Oppa at 23:37: he’s always weird 

 

From Oppa at 23:37: I’ll phone, wanna join? 

 

To The Plastics at 23:38: ya 

 

From Hobi at 23:38: 👍🏽

 

“Namjoon?” He’s met with a groan. 

 

“I’m gonna make a quick call, lemme go?” 

 

Namjoon shifts further into Seokjin, and then a muffled, “no,” and Seokjin feels his arm sliding beneath his head.

 

His phone starts buzzing and before it could ring, he answers the call. 

 

“Is it just the three of us?” Hoseok laughs through the speakers. 

 

“Four,” Namjoon speaks up behind him. 

 

“Ah! Namjoon-ah!” Hoseok greets merrily. 

 

Jeongguk’s picture enters the screen and it sounds like he’s watching TV. 

 

“Hey?” Seokjin can hear his confusion. 

 

Yoongi finally unmutes himself, “Jeongguk-ah, how are you?” 

 

A snicker, “I’m okay, what’s up?” 

 

This time Seokjin decides to ask, “Everything okay, Kook?” 

 

“Yeah? Why?” 

 

“I told them you were acting weird at the studio this week,” Hoseok pipes in. 

 

A short laugh, “Long story,” 

 

Namjoon whispers when there’s a brief lull, “We’ve always got time for you,” so Seokjin repeats it louder. 

It works. 

 

“Uhm… I started some new medication…” he starts. 

 

“For what? You sick?” Yoongi asks bluntly. 

 

“No, I - uh, I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist for a while now,” Seokjin can hear the gulp. 

 

“Ah, Jeongguk-ah, why didn’t you say anything? You know we all-“

 

But Jeongguk cuts Hoseok off, “I know, I know…”

 

“What are you on treatment for?” Yoongi asks. 

 

“ADHD, depression,” a pause, “and anxiety,” he says and Seokjin hears how small he sounds, “but she says they’re all kind of intertwined or something,” he adds. 

 

“Don’t worry, Jeongguk - if you ever run out, Hobi has you covered for the ADHD meds,” Seokjin jokes and it immediately lightens the atmosphere because Jeongguk is laughing. 

 

“Rude, Hyung,” Hoseok mopes once the laughter dies down. 

 

“Yeah and if you ever go batshit, Seokjin can help you out, right, Hyung?” Yoongi says, and Namjoon snorts behind him. 

 

“Sure! And Yoongi has some dementia contacts from the old age home, right, Yoongs?” Seokjin shoots back. 

 

Namjoon snickers behind him, and it doesn’t escape Yoongi’s attention, “Namjoon-ah, go back to sleep,” he yells and everyone is a riot on the call. 

 

“Namjoon-Hyung ?” Jeongguk asks once the air has settled. 

 

“Hey, Jeongguk-ssi,” Namjoon answers softly. Seokjin notes the gravelly voice. 

 

Then Yoongi starts, “Okay, but as much as we’re joking and whatever -“ 

 

He stops and Hoseok takes over, “We want you to know that this is a safe place,” he says. 

 

Seokjin adds, “And you can always talk to us about that stuff, okay?” 

 

“We understand, 'Guk,” Hoseok tacks on gently. 

 

Yoongi hums, and Seokjin speaks, “And we love you,” and Jeongguk laughs softly. 

 

“Thanks, you guys,” he sniffles. 

 

“Yah, and if we're too much, you can always go to Namjoon,” Hoseok jokes. 

 

“ I’ma leave the door open- “ Namjoon sings, stretching his leg further between Seokjin’s.

 

And then faintly in the background, they hear Taehyung’s voice, “ I’ma leave the door open, ” he sounds like a turtle.

 

“Tae?” Seokjin asks a little louder.

 

“Hey, Hyungs!” Taehyung’s voice sounds louder now. 

 

“Yah, don’t start your shit, I need to sleep,” Yoongi yells. 

 

But Taehyung asks about the kittens and Jimin joins the call. Yoongi ends up switching on his camera to show everyone how his girls are doing. 

 

Hoseok follows suit, shirtless in bed. 

 

Taehyung puts on their camera and they all laugh at Jimin because he looks like he’s just run through the rain. 

 

Seokjin reluctantly turns his camera on and hits the lamp switch. Everyone immediately coos at him and Namjoon, but he watches Hoseok’s eyebrow lift. Yoongi smirks. 

 

They only end the call at two a.m. 

—----

 

Saturday is lazy and they don’t bath until it’s four in the afternoon. They stayed in bed the entire day, talking about Jeongguk, the kittens and then spoke even more over the last two Twilight movies. Namjoon says that Edward has more character in these two movies than the last. 

 

Seokjin disagrees, “Anyone who uses BING has no soul,” Namjoon laughs, “let alone to search for their weird demon baby,” he adds. 

 

He changes the sheets later, when Namjoon’s in the shower. It had been soiled with popcorn seeds and whatever snacks they grabbed from the cupboard earlier. 

 

It’s nice, it’s quiet and Seokjin feels warm. His friends are good, or well - getting there in Jeongguk’s case, Namjoon’s gift is ready for next week. They both decided to book off from work while Yoon-suh is staying with them.

 

Seokjin wonders how Namjoon got a whole week off from his hard-ass father but he doesn’t seem to think twice about it, so neither does Seokjin. He’s grateful he only has to go through HR for these things and not his dad. 

 

While Namjoon is in the shower, he remakes the bed and pulls out the wrapping paper from under his mattress. He grabs the book he hid at the back of the cupboard and wraps it. 

 

It looks like shit. 

 

But it’s the thought that counts, right? 

 

When he goes to stuff the book at the back of his closet, he feels something crinkly touch his fingers. He grabs the packet and laughs. 

 

Namjoon would have a field day if -

 

Wait . 

 

He pulls out the contents of the packet and an idea hits him square in the face.

 

He’d originally bought this to explore something new with Chan but then that blew up in his face. 

 

Seokjin decides to wash them, along with the sheets, because they have just been sitting in the back of his closet. 

 

His heart almost drops out of his chest when Namjoon walks in, dressed in fuzzy pyjama pants and a loose t-shirt. He tries to tuck the material into the rolled up sheets, “I put the electric blanket off, put it on if you want,” he sounds nervous. 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon starts, “Is everything okay?” he rounds to his side of the bed and sits. 

 

“Of course, I just wanna run these in the washer,” Seokjin says, lugging the mound out to the kitchen. He starts the washer and breathes.

 

What if he doesn’t want anything like that?

 

He literally mentioned a lap dance last night and -

 

They’re not a couple. This is a couple thing. 

 

It doesn’t have to be. We’re friends, right? Friends who occasionally have sex. 

 

It’s not a big deal.  

 

Seokjin breathes the tension out of his shoulders and turns to the sink to pour himself a glass of water. 

 

“Jin?” Namjoon's voice sounds from behind him. He turns to the entrance of the kitchen and finds Namjoon fiddling with his shirt.

 

“What’s up?” he asks, and then he notices the stress lines on his forehead and the tension along his jaw, “What’s wrong?” 

 

“I-” Namjoon starts, he clears his throat, “If I’m in your space too much, you can tell me to, y’know? Back it up,” Seokjin frowns. 

 

That was unexpected. 

 

“You’re not in my space too much,” he says, “Why?” Namjoon shrugs at the question. 

 

“I don’t want to impose,” 

 

“I told you that you’re not,” Seokjin answers gently, stepping forward towards the other man.

 

Namjoon doesn’t move from the door frame, so Seokjin asks, “Did I say or do anything to make you feel like that?” 

 

The other man shakes his head, “I don’t know,” Seokjin nods. 

 

“I’ll try to be more aware of that, okay?” he tells Namjoon. The other man picks up his head in surprise but doesn’t say anything. 

 

Instead, Namjoon walks over to him and hugs him. And Seokjin doesn’t fight it, he embraces him and rubs his back to reassure the younger man.

 

When they break apart, Namjoon smiles at him. Seokjin grins back and reaches out to poke his dimple. 

 

“We should name it,” he jokes. 

 

“My dimples?” Namjoon asks incredulously. 

 

Seokjin nods, turning to the stove. He’ll cook up some ramyeon and throw something in the fryer - there should be some kimchi in the fridge .

 

“What should we name them?” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Bert and Ernie,” and Namjoon snorts. 

 

“No, it needs to be cool ,” 

 

“Why would it need to be cool? You’re not so-”

 

“Don’t be an ass,” 

 

Seokjin turns and wiggles his brows, “But you love this ass,” Namjoon just laughs and shakes his head. 

 

“Can I help with anything?” Namjoon comes to stand beside him. Namjoon has a habit of asking this whenever Seokjin is in the kitchen even though he’s a complete disaster. Absolutely no help at all. 

 

But Seokjin gives him menial tasks so he can participate and he finds that he doesn’t quite mind Namjoon’s terrible chopping skills sharing a space with him in the kitchen. At most, he would allow Yoongi in the kitchen with him.

 

Together, they manage to throw some marinated chicken into a pan while they prepare the noodles. He lets Namjoon do the ramyeon but Seokjin makes sure to keep watch until Namjoon tells him to stop.

 

He even makes them some hot chocolate, warm and spicy and Seokjin can feel it as it goes down his throat. 

 

They sit up for three hours at the table, playing cards. Namjoon is not particularly a sore loser, but after losing for the twelfth time in a row - Seokjin can see the irritation leak through. 

 

“We can’t all be winners, Namjoonie,” Seokjin throws his last card into the Rummy pile. 

 

Namjoon groans, “This game sucks,” he pouts. 

 

Seokjin laughs and pushes his chair out, “Oh, so it only sucks when you lose?” 

 

“No! It’s boring,” Namjoon crosses his arms. 

 

“Fine, what do you wanna play then?” Seokjin gathers the pile on the table and sets them right. 

 

“Not cards,” the other man says. 

 

“Wanna go for a walk?” Seokjin offers. 

 

He watches Namjoon’s face light up at the suggestion, nodding and already getting out of his chair. 

 

“Should we change?” he asks Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin looks at his phone and shakes his head, “It’s like nine p.m - just put on some shoes,” he tells him. 

 

Once they’re set and ready to face the chilly air, Seokjin locks the door and slips the keys in his jacket pocket. 

 

They end up at a park down the road from Seokjin’s apartment building. It’s quiet, save for the crickets and occasional brush of movement in the greenery behind the park. 

 

Namjoon spotted some swings and is going absolutely insane. 

 

“Are you trying to flip over?” 

 

“Yes!” Namjoon answers, and he sounds breathless and excited. Seokjin is just rocking slowly on the other side of the swing-set. 

 

He laughs and pulls out his phone to record Namjoon. It's short lived when Namjoon speaks up, “I bet you can’t go as high as me,” and Seokjin would never say no to a challenge. 

 

So he pockets his phone and begins swinging faster and he hears Namjoon giggle like a kid. It’s contagious, so he’s giggling too and he’s not sure if his nose is leaking because it’s so cold. 

 

He looks over to Namjoon, his head is thrown back, smiling up at the sky and Seokjin looks up to see what might be so invigorating. But it’s just a few stray clouds and some stars. 

 

“Wanna jump?” Seokjin suggests and Namjoon looks like he just got zapped back to reality, legs still pulling him higher. 

 

“On three?” Namjoon shouts. Seokjin shouts the countdown and on three, they both let go at the peak of their swing -

 

And they’re on the floor, laughing. 

 

Namjoon recovers faster and rolls onto his back, “We’re too old for this shit,” he sounds breathless. Seokjin rolls over to him, wincing at the cold pain shooting up his leg from the fall. 

 

“I’m forever young, Namjoonie,” he pants. 

 

There’s the faint hum of music coming from someone’s house across the street. Seokjin laughs and tries to catch his breath. 

 

“All My Life” is playing loudly, and Seokjin thinks he hears someone screaming under the music. 

 

“Dance with me?” Namjoon asks. Seokjin turns his head to find the other man looking at him. 

 

He frowns, “Me?” 

 

Namjoon presses his lips together, “No, the dude screaming the song,” Seokjin laughs and sits up. 

 

“C’mon,” he lifts himself up and offers Namjoon a hand. 

 

It's not really dancing, but they’re rocking to the music. His arms on Namjoon’s shoulders, Namjoon’s wrists hooked around his back. 

 

“Shit man, he’s really going through it,” Seokjin comments.

 

Namjoon laughs and bows his head, “I don’t think we’re far off,” he replies. 

 

Seokjin frowns and it prompts Namjoon to expand, “I mean we’re listening to his music on a Saturday night,” 

 

“And dancing in a really dark park,” Seokjin adds. 

 

Namjoon looks at him and smiles, “It’s not that dark,” he says quietly. 

 

Seokjin looks at him and a wave of something warm sweeps through him. 

 

Gonna ignore that? 

 

Absolutely . 

 

Namjoon grabs his hand and twirls Seokjin in a circle. Seokjin does the same and Namjoon laughs. 

 

“I don’t think anyone’s done that before,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Spin you?” Namjoon nods. 

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever slow danced with someone before,” he tries to even the playing field.

 

“We literally slow danced when Yoongi sang for us,” Seokjin frowns and then he smiles brightly at the memory, “and the premiere,” he adds.

 

“That was fun,” he says. And then he remembers how Namjoon was about to kiss him that night. 

 

He tears his eyes away from the other man. 

 

Actually, they haven’t done much over the last week despite staying in the same house. 

 

Maybe Namjoon got what he wanted? 

 

Maybe it’s because you cried the last time you sucked his dick? 

 

I thought we weren’t going to talk about it. 

 

Who am I if not your greatest enemy? 

 

Seokjin doesn’t like the feeling that comes with the thought. But, perhaps Namjoon did get what he wanted. 

 

So did Seokjin.

 

So why is he feeling like… like this? 

 

Perhaps Seokjin was a brief relief from pursuing Jackson. And Seokjin can’t fault Namjoon for wanting something real. He told him plainly to go after Jackson if that’s what he wanted. 

 

Maybe that’s why he’s feeling a little mournful. Namjoon was good in bed and they’d have to stop once Namjoon found something worth his time. 

 

Because despite sleeping with him, Seokjin was angry for years at something he made up in his head. He held it against Namjoon with his chest. 

 

He never deserved it, not if it was real. 

 

“Hyung?” Seokjin is drawn back to the present. He throws Namjoon a small smile. 

 

Perhaps he can enjoy their friendship. It’s more than Seokjin should ask for.

 

“You’re thinkin’ a little too hard there,” Namjoon tells him.

 

He hears another song playing and it’s a little more morose than the last. Olivia Newton-John (and the random dude) are yelling about having their love pushed aside. 

 

Namjoon hugs him a little closer, “What’s on your mind?” he asks. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, letting the cold air nip his thoughts. 

 

“ Hyung ,” Namjoon draws out.

 

“ Namjoonie ,” Seokjin mocks.

 

“You look sad,” he comments, “My dancing isn’t that bad,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin just looks at him sagely and Namjoon laughs. 

 

Namjoon looks at him, probably expecting him to answer - so he just says, “I’m missing someone,” it's the truth. And what a stupid truth it is, because he is right here. 

 

He sees the other man frown, “Who?”

 

Seokjin shrugs and Namjoon drops it.

 

—--

 

It’s the next day, when Seokjin wakes to Namjoon’s warmth. Namjoon had crawled into his bed and Seokjin hadn’t objected. Namjoon kept throwing worried glances at him for the rest of the evening but Seokjin diligently ignored them in favour of littering his room with Namjoon’s stuff. 

 

They’re fetching Yoon-suh today. And tomorrow is Namjoon’s birthday. 

 

Seokjin ended up throwing the washing in the dryer because he couldn’t risk hanging them out to dry. 

 

He’s standing inside his closet, dabbing on some cologne. Namjoon is busy in the shower, probably excited about having his mom come over. 

 

His mind is wandering. From what they might eat for supper, to what they might do for a whole week to themselves. 

 

Seokjin thinks Yoon-suh would like-

 

A pair of warm arms wrap around his waist from the back and Seokjin startles for a bit. He looks up into the mirror and sees Namjoon in nothing but a towel around his waist. 

 

“What you thinkin’ about?” He asks Seokjin’s reflection. He realises he was just standing in front of the mirror, completely zoned out. 

 

Before he could muster up a reply, Namjoon leans in and sniffs along his neck, “Smells nice,” he mutters against his neck. 

 

Namjoon tightens his arms around his waist and presses a kiss to his neck. Seokjin gasps as he watches their reflection. The other man doesn’t pay any mind to the mirror, instead he kisses Seokjin’s neck again. And again, leading to his jaw. 

 

Seokjin watches him in the mirror, the stray droplets falling onto his shirt. The relaxed set of his brow. 

 

When Namjoon nips at his jaw, Seokjin hisses and breaks his gaze away from the mirror.

 

He turns his face to Namjoon, who lifts his head from his neck. 

 

Seokjin looks at his eyelashes, still damp from his shower and his eyes are trained on Seokjin’s. Flitting to his mouth and then back up. 

 

“May I-” Namjoon doesn’t get to finish because Seokjin pushes his lips against Namjoon’s. He feels the electricity in the room shoot up when Namjoon deepens the kiss, flicking his tongue inside his mouth. He moans deeply into Namjoon’s mouth.

 

Seokjin turns his body, because the angle is terrible for his neck, and wraps his arms around Namjoon’s neck. It starts slow, and becomes rushed within seconds and Seokjin knocks his teeth against Namjoon’s a few times. 

 

He huffs a laugh the third time it happens, excitement pushing aside any sort of discomfort. 

 

Namjoon pulls back and Seokjin follows greedily, not wasting a moment. Namjoon just gives in and pushes Seokjin into the vanity table.

 

Namjoon reaches down, disconnecting their lips, and Seokjin groans when feels himself being lifted onto the slate of marble. 

 

He wraps his legs around Namjoon’s towel-clad waist, not exactly sure of what he wants. 

 

Namjoon watches him for a moment, and he licks his lips - eyes brushing over Seokjin’s face. But the impatience wears him thin and he leans down to devour Seokjin with his mouth. 

 

His hands skirt over Namjoon’s torso when the other man leans down to maul at his neck. He slips his hands lower and just as he’s about to touch Namjoon’s dick - he hears the familiar ringtone of Namjoon’s phone ring from their bed. 

 

Namjoon pauses but resumes his assault on Seokjin’s neck, not a moment after, “Leave it,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin ignores the music and grabs ahold of Namjoon’s erection, pumping his cock beneath his towel and absorbing his breathy moans against his neck- 

 

Then the Mario Kart theme song blares from beside them and Seokjin jumps out of his skin and Namjoon hisses at the grip on his cock. 

 

“Sorry,” he tells him sheepishly, releasing his dick and reaching for his phone. He answers it without reading the caller-ID.

 

“What time y’all coming to fetch me?” He hears Yoon-suh shout over the receiver. Namjoon is trying to unbutton his pants - 

 

“Hey, Ajjuma -” he really does try to hold in the gasp when Namjoon palms him through his underwear. 

 

“Oh, y’all busy with consequences? What time y’all gonna leave?” she says and Namjoon snorts and loses his focus. Seokjin throws his head back to laugh. 

 

“No no, no - consequences,” he laughs, “We’re leaving now,” he tells her. 

 

“No, finish your consequences, I still need to charge my earbuds,” she tells them and Namjoon is now laughing into his clavicle. Seokjin is trying to hold it together. 

 

“We’re walking out the door now, see you soon!” 

 

“Right! Be safe, the roads are wet -” 

 

“ Okay , ma,” Namjoon says to the phone, sounding notably done .

 

“Love y’all!” she shouts before she ends the call. 

 

Seokjin looks at Namjoon and they burst into laughter. Christ .

 

“While your mother is on the phone, Namjoonie? You should be ashamed,” he snickers. Namjoon just rests his forehead against Seokjin’s. 

 

He catches his breath and then mutters, “ Fuck ,” before pulling back. 

 

Seokjin closes his eyes to steady himself, breathing deeply into his chest. When he opens his eyes, he finds Namjoon rubbing on some moisturiser with his underwear now on. 

 

He doesn’t say a word, and walks out of the closet.

 

What the fuck is going on with them? 

 

Seokjin isn’t stupid enough to believe that Namjoon is interested in him. Sexually attracted, maybe… but Seokjin needs to watch himself. 

 

After all, he has a track record with unavailable men. 

 

He tries to shake off the past thirty minutes, but when Namjoon picks up his keys - dressed in a worn pair of jeans and a loose button-up, Seokjin’s mind tries to make a run for it. 

 

Should they talk about it?

 

Probably. 

 

Will they talk about it? 

 

Probably not. 

 

It’s fine. He needs to stop overthinking it. 

 

Namjoon said it himself. They were making the best of a shitty situation. Seokjin, however, is still trying to find the shitty aspect to it (despite his own feelings). 

 

They’ve just left the city when Namjoon speaks up, “I need to grab some stuff from my apartment on the way back,” Seokjin nods, not registering the statement. Instead, he listens to his voice.

 

He wonders what Namjoon would do if he asked him to pull off on the side of the road to continue whatever they started. 

 

He doesn’t though. They make it to Yoon-suh’s house in silence, with only the radio to fill in the gaps in the conversation. 

 

Seokjin tries to apply lipbalm to the fucking hickey left on his neck. He glares at Namjoon when it does nothing. 

 

Namjoon laughs and pokes him in the neck, “Leave them,” 

 

“Your mother is gonna -“

 

She bursts through the door in a bright yellow sundress, trying to pull a heavy-looking suitcase.  

 

Seokjin is pretty sure he could lose a toe in this weather.

 

Seokjin runs up to greet her and is swallowed up by a hug like no other, “Y’all finished your consequences?” she asks him, eyeing the now shiny bruise on his neck.

 

Seokjin looks at her and he feels the blush creeping in. Luckily Namjoon takes over, “Ma- stop,” he whines and she laughs. 

 

“Take my bag, so heavy this thing is,” she instructs him, taking Seokjin’s arm and walking to the car. 

 

“How you, baby?” she asks him.

 

Seokjin looks at her and nods, “I’m good, excited you’re staying,” 

 

“We must stop by the liquor store one of the days,” she tells him and Seokjin watches Namjoon carry the heavy suitcase with ease. He can see the muscle straining in his arms when he lifts it into the boot. 

 

God, he could-

 

Smack - “Ow!” 

 

“You act like y’all never see each other so long,” she scolds him. 

 

Seokjin looks down at her and finds the old fox smiling mischievously, “Ajjuma! It’s not like that -” 

 

“Oh? So you don’t think my son is sexy?” She lifts a brow. 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “You are a nonsense,” he laughs. 

 

“He gets it from his father,” She tells him, looking back at Namjoon trying to fit the bag into the narrow trunk. Seokjin frowns, 

 

“What?” 

 

“The charm,” she replies. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “What charm?” 

 

“Shut it - I had that same look on my face when I first fell in love with his father,” she sighs, “it’s hard not to be with these Kim men,” she giggles. 

 

“How do you know how you looked?” 

 

“With my eyes, how else?” She laughs freely.

 

She doesn’t notice Seokjin tensing beside her. 

 

In love ? What a joke. 

 

He could never be so stupid. Not again. 

 

And sure, he might be getting a little confused with the sex and the forged relationship, but he knows better. He can navigate himself out of the mess of feelings tied with Namjoon. 

 

Seokjin is a grown adult, and no blur of emotions is going to hold him hostage in his own head. And sure, sex may have complicated his emotions further, but it isn’t like he doesn’t know what he’s doing. 

 

What are you doing then?

 

Shut the fuck up.

 

They’re already on the road and Yoon-suh locked up the house with no delay. Namjoon and his mother are bickering over something and Seokjin has his eyes glued on a small spot in the windscreen. 

 

“So nice car you got, Jin,” Yoon-suh remarks, “why you don’t tell my son to buy one like this,” he watches Namjoon purse his lips. 

 

Seokjin decides to throw whatever is going on in his head to the wind and join the conversation. 

 

When they arrive at Namjoon’s apartment building, they all get out. Seokjin follows the other man to help him pick up whatever they need and Yoon-suh stops to converse with Namjoon’s elderly neighbour. 

 

“Only your lotion?” 

 

“Yeah, and next to my bed - see there’s a small bag,” Namjoon yells from the bathroom. He’s trying to figure out how to turn off the water heater while Seokjin picks up stuff. 

 

“What’s wrong with my lotion?” 

 

“Itchy!” he shouts back. His lotion is perfumed so he shrugs and digs through the bedside table for the “small bag”. It’s no bigger than both of his palms, and curiously, Seokjin unclasps it to look inside. 

 

There’s a honey flavoured lube and a bunch of condoms and a silicon cock ring.

 

It’s a sexy time bag. 

 

Who the fuck even says “sexy time”?

 

Is Namjoon planning on fucking someone? 

 

Is it him? 

 

No… the two times they’ve slept together weren’t planned. So, why would he put in precautions now? 

Maybe Namjoon wants to hookup with a stranger for his birthday? 

 

Seokjin can’t really -

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon calls from the corridor, and Seokjin quickly clasps the bag together and shuts the drawer. 

 

“Got everything?” Seokjin turns to his voice and finds Namjoon at the door. 

 

Seokjin smiles politely and nods. 

 

“Turned the heater off?” 

 

Namjoon takes a step into the room, pulling his lips, “I think so?”

 

Namjoon sets his hands on Seokjin’s hips, “Good?” 

 

Seokjin nods. 

 

Namjoon leans in, “Why do you look stressed?” He pecks him on his lips.

 

Seokjin’s heart fucking gallops in his chest when Namjoon kisses him again.

 

Maybe because you might be hooking up with someone else for your birthday and I don’t like that because…

 

It’d be bad for your fake relationship? 

 

Yes! Absolutely! 

 

Christ, you are an idiot. 

 

Your mom is an idiot. 

 

Real mature. 

 

Seokjin has to tear Yoon-suh away from Margaret by the time they come out. 

 

They’re sitting in the car, en-route to Seokjin’s place when Yoon-suh starts, “Who’s Jackson?” 

 

Seokjin throws a wide-eyed glance at Namjoon who swerves the car slightly. 

 

“Michael?” 

 

Seokjin gets a smack on the back of his head, “What Michael Jackson all,”

 

He coughs, “Where’d you hear that name, Ma?” 

 

Seokjin’s eyes are trained on him now. Namjoon’s eyes flit up to meet his mother’s in the rearview mirror. 

 

“Maggie said y’all was fighting and Jackson’s name came up,” Maggie ? 

 

Namjoon looks at him and swallows. 

 

“Jackson is just a friend of mine,” Namjoon tells them and Seokjin looks away. 

 

He wants to get off. 

 

“Y’all know if y’all want to add a third, y’all need to be in the right space too,” Yoon-suh announces, unable to detect the awkwardness in the car. 

 

“What they call that thing? Uh, pentagon!” Wait - where the fuck is this going? 

 

“You know Jungwha’s son is in one pentagon?” She continues and Seokjin snorts. 

 

“Oh?” 

 

“ So handsome boyfriends he got too,” Seokjin looks at her. 

 

“Ya! She sent one picture,” she tells them, “ey, she was worried first but she said that they work together very well,” 

 

“I think you’re talking about polyamory, mom,” Namjoon butts in. 

 

“That’s what I said, baby,” she scolds, “I know all about the polymers,”

 

“Anyway, I read this threesomes handbook if you want,” Seokjin looks at Namjoon and laughs. 

 

“What were you doing with a threesomes handbook?” 

 

“Very interesting, Jungwha said I must read it,” she breathes, “she and Bok wanted to try something -“ and Seokjin actually falls into a fit of laughter. 

 

At least the tension is broken. 

 

“No one is adding a third,” Namjoon says once the laughter has died down. 

 

“Jackson has been in a very loving monogamous relationship for the past five years,” Seokjin’s head might have snapped off with the force he spun his neck with. 

 

“What?” He mouths. Namjoon looks directly at him and shrugs. 

 

“So you never liked him?” Namjoon pulls his lips down and shakes his head. Seokjin tries to make it sound nonchalant.

 

“Why? He’s cute, Jin-ah?” Yoon-suh asks. 

 

Namjoon laughs, “He is very cute, but no - his partner actually drove us to the beach that day,” he looks at Seokjin.

 

Seokjin thinks he might have stopped breathing. Or maybe he’s breathing a little easier… he doesn’t know. 

 

All he knows is… 

 

Namjoon and Jackson aren’t a thing. 

 

They never were. 

 

But then… Why did Seokjin see everything the way he did? 

 

Good question . You should probably answer it.

 

Are you even on my side anymore ?

 

Nah, it’s more fun this way .

 

Thwap ! 

 

The car wiggles on the road while Namjoon tries to yell at his mom. 

 

“Why’d you smack me?!” 

 

“Don’t make my son-in-law insecure,” she points a menacing finger at her son. Then she turns to Seokjin to pinch his cheek, “He’s too pretty for all that,” 

 

Seokjin laughs and his shoulders feel kind of lighter. He can’t say why. 

 

Yes, you can.

 

Fuck you.

 

He turns to look at Namjoon and shrugs with a sage smile on his face. 

 

This is going to be an interesting week. 

Notes:

In my head Simone Ashley is Jackson's partner and the song Namjoon tells him to add to his playlist is Hozier - Sunlight

Chapter 14: In Which Namjoon is Dr. Dolittle (Namjoon's Birthday Pt.1)

Notes:

I'm gonna upload 13 and 14 together cause it's technically supposed to be one chapter but the government is gross yknow?

 

Seokjin slips out of bed early on Monday morning. Namjoon is snoring peacefully on the other side of the bed, skin slightly damp with sweat. Seokjin wonders how he manages to stay so warm even though it’s fucking freezing out. 

 

Anyway, he manages to make a quick escape to the kitchen. 

 

It’s Namjoon’s birthday today, and Seokjin has to look the part of an enamoured boyfriend. 

 

So he pulls out all the ingredients he needs to make blueberry pancakes (because Namjoon literally swallows them whole). He’ll fry up the bacon and eggs when he’s done with the pancakes. 

 

While he’s whipping up the batter, he hears the toilet flush and he freezes - he’s nowhere near done. 

 

But it’s only Yoon-suh who greets him merrily, “Mornin’, angel,” she sings. 

 

Seokjin allocates the eggs and bacon to her and she’s a dream in the kitchen. It’s really no surprise, but Seokjin feels warm and fuzzy. 

 

“So, what you got him for his birthday?” she asks, whisking the eggs. Namjoon gags at fried yolks.

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Nothing,” he tells her. He’s essentially just returning what was originally his. 

 

Yoon-suh checks the seaweed soup and adds a pinch of salt. 

 

“I’m sure he’ll love anything from you,” she assures him. Seokjin smiles hopefully. 

 

When they’re done plating breakfast, Seokjin digs through the pantry to look for his birthday stash. It mainly consists of used birthday candles, squashed party hats, party horns and some popping-streamers. Mostly unused.

 

Yoon-suh laughs when Seokjin snaps a party hat onto her head. 

 

As he’s trying to adjust on his own, she speaks up, “He’s so lucky to have you,” he looks over to see her smiling wistfully. 

 

He frowns, but smiles. He feels acid turn in his stomach. 

 

Seokjin distracts himself with the TV, trying to get Stevie Wonder to sing “Happy Birthday”. Eventually the music starts and Seokjin increases the volume so Namjoon wakes up. 

 

Yoon-suh and Seokjin wait patiently for a few seconds before a groggy-looking, hair sticking up on one side, only one eye-opened Namjoon steps past the hall entrance. 

 

“Happy birthday!” Yoon-suh shouts, releasing the streamers with a pop. Seokjin snaps a picture of Namjoon looking utterly confused. Seokjin looks at her and they laugh at Namjoon. 

 

Yoon-suh runs up to him, “Happy birthday, my baby! I love you so much -” Namjoon hugs her tightly before she could start crying. 

 

Seokjin hovers awkwardly behind her. When she finally lets go of her baby boy, Seokjin smiles and shuffles forward, “Happy birthday, Namjoonie,” he smiles. Namjoon clicks his tongue and moves forward to hug Seokjin. 

 

When Namjoon pulls back, he pecks Seokjin on the lips and Seokjin swears his chest concaves for a second. 

 

Yoon-suh is here, we need to act like a couple , he reminds himself.

 

Christ, this just started of as a “fuck you” to his father, to prove that Seokjin could settle down and have his own career. 

 

Now… 

 

Now he’s fucking breathing funny when Namjoon is nice to him. 

 

I need to get my shit together . 

 

Seokjin quickly lights the small candle stuck in a pile of pancakes, “Make a wish!” he orders, holding it up to Namjoon’s face. Seokjin laughs when he scrunches up his face and shuts his eyes. After a moment, he blows out the candle and leans forward to kiss Seokjin softly. Again .

 

Seokjin searches his eyes for a moment, and Namjoon looks back. 

 

Then Namjoon looks at the table, breaking the eye-contact, “Thank you guys,” he tells them earnestly. 

 

“I never do nothing, Jinnie woke up so early to cook,” Yoon-suh speaks up and reaches over to pinch Seokjin’s cheek. 

 

Namjoon looks at him with a brow lifted. Before Seokjin could read into it, he shrugs his shoulders and goes to lower the music. 

 

Breakfast is a slow affair and Seokjin thinks that he should try inviting Jackson to Namjoon’s dinner party. 

 

Yoon-suh is telling them stories about Namjoon when he was younger and Seokjin coos and ‘awws’ just to annoy the other man. 

 

Namjoon decides that he wants to go for a picnic for lunch and Yoon-suh is already planning sandwiches before they even finish breakfast. Seokjin loads the dishwasher and discreetly tries to pull the load from the dryer without being suspicious. 

 

He was betting on the picnic. 

 

Seokjin runs into the shower first, just so he can get dressed without Namjoon around. He’s a little on edge, to say the least. He still hasn’t given the other man his gift, and well - 

 

He’s not sure his other gift is going to land well. 

 

Yoon-suh got him a new leather satchel and he almost cries when he hugs her in thanks. Maybe Seokjin shouldn’t give him the book. Maybe he should get him a wallet or something… 

 

He’s amidst brushing his teeth when the door to the bathroom opens. 

 

Namjoon steps in and closes the door behind himself, “You okay?” Seokjin frowns at his reflection and then turns to face him. 

 

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” Seokjin asks through a mouthful of toothpaste. 

 

Namjoon walks closer and Seokjin takes it as an opportunity to turn and spit into the basin. 

 

“I don’t know… You’re acting weird,” shit .

 

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me,” Seokjin tells Namjoon’s reflection. 

 

Namjoon hugs him from behind and sighs, “but I do,” he mutters quietly into Seokjin’s shoulder. Seokjin doesn’t think he’s supposed to hear it.

 

“Namjoon-ah! Dory-mummy is on the phone!” Yoon-suh shouts from the other side of the door. 

 

“You should go,” Seokjin says softly. 

 

So Namjoon places a small kiss on the nape of Seokjin’s neck, probably not noticing how his pulse is trying to escape his skin. He squeezes tight and then releases Seokjin to walk away. 

 

The enema tries to fight him before his shower but he gets it done. 

 

Seokjin showers aimlessly, mind scattered all over the shower walls. 

 

Why is he acting weird ?

 

Maybe because Jackson is no longer an excuse to lie to yourself about whatever it is you have going on with Namjoon . 

 

Doesn’t mean he’s into me. 

 

Why do you care if he’s into you? 

 

Because - because it would fucking complicate things?!

 

Oh, but sex doesn’t? 

 

You know what? “Shut up-” Seokjin shuts the water off and curses his fucking brain. 

 

He walks out of the bathroom and Yoon-suh frowns at him, “Who you talking to?” 

 

Seokjin flushes, “No one, why?” He's pretty sure she can tell he’s embarrassed with the blush creeping up his chest. 

 

She laughs and walks away and Seokjin turns to his room down the hall. Namjoon looks up when he enters and puts down his phone. 

 

“Done?” Seokjin nods his reply and walks into the closet. He waits for the tell-tale sound of the shower to get started. 

 

He preps his fingers with lube, and breathes when he starts to stretch himself open for the plug. 

 

Fuck it , he thinks. They’re making the best of a shitty situation. 

 

He hasn’t used a buttplug in quite some time, and he doesn’t know what wearing it for an entire day might lead to - but he’s hopeful. He’ll put the rest on when they come back home. 

 

It’s a light metal with an obnoxious jewel attached to the end. 

 

A means to an end , he sighs.

 

He tries to calm his dick down once the plug is in, trying to get dressed fast. 

 

Shit - he’s going to spend the day with Namjoon’s mother as well. 

 

How the fuck am I supposed to look her in the eye when I’ve got a buttplug lodged in my ass ?? 

 

Nicely .

 

Sure enough, his dick quietens at the thought of Yoon-suh. (Respectfully). 

 

What the fuck is respectful about any of this ?

 

If Namjoon doesn’t want to hook-up, then he never has to know any of this. 

 

Suddenly, the shower turns off and it springs Seokjin into action. He gets dressed within a minute. 

 

Maybe he could give Namjoon his gift while they’re at the park…

 

Yeah, that way - if Namjoon hates it, he can’t yell at Seokjin. 

 

When has Namjoon ever yelled at you ?

 

Shhh . 

 

He grabs the gift out of his cupboard and stuffs it into the inner pocket of the coat he’s wearing. 

 

Namjoon still hasn’t come out from the bathroom, so Seokjin types in the password on his phone and sends Jackson’s contact to himself.

 

He drops Jackson a quick message to bring his partner and the location for tonight. 

 

Wait . Fuck - his father is coming.

 

Maybe he should just take it out-

The door of the main bathroom opens and Seokjin books it to the lounge. 

 

Yoon-suh is using the guest bathroom while she’s here. 

 

Seokjin thinks Namjoon might enjoy the bird park sanctuary. It’s an open park with a small art gallery tucked into it. It’s a fifteen minute drive.

 

Seokjin doesn’t know how he’s going to survive it with a buttplug and Namjoon’s mother all in one space. And Namjoon himself. 

 

Well .

 

They leave once Seokjin has successfully stuffed the picnic bags with everything they might need. The cooler has some water, juice and fruits.

 

Yoon-suh laughs at him, “Are you sure you brought enough?” she teases. Seokjin sticks out his tongue in reply. 

 

They’re on their way to the park and Namjoon keeps nagging him about where they’re going. 

 

“Be patient! Christ ,” Seokjin scolds him. 

 

“But it’s my birthday,” Namjoon pouts, “Right, ma?” 

 

Yoon-suh shakes her head, “Please, I don’t want consequences,” Seokjin barks a laugh at that. 

 

Namjoon groans and fiddles with the car’s radio. He connects to it and starts blasting some old pop music. Seokjin gives him a side-eye when “I’m a Slave 4 U” starts playing. 

 

They arrive at the park after twenty-minutes, and Seokjin is getting used to the intrusion. 

 

“Do you guys wanna go out for dinner later?” Namjoon asks when they pull into the parking lot. 

 

Seokjin glances at Yoon-suh in the rearview mirror, “Sure, there’s a special at McDonald’s,” he wiggles his brows. Yoon-suh snorts. 

 

They step out of the car and Namjoon literally starts bouncing on his feet as soon as he sees the sign, “Hyung! It’s a bird park!?” he yells in astonishment. 

 

Seokjin smiles, watching Namjoon run through the gates without a second glance back at them. 

 

“I’m not carrying the cooler,” Yoon-suh tells him and Seokjin doesn’t even have it in him to be mad. He smiles widely and lugs two of the bags to a shady spot under a tree with a little table. 

 

Yoon-suh joins her son, who is currently trying to talk to a sunflower-coloured Macaw. He sets up their tables with the snacks he packed and tries to arrange everything neatly. 

 

Yoon-suh joins him after getting bored of Namjoon’s antics. 

 

“There’s an art gallery around the corner,” he tells her. 

 

“Why y’all don’t go for a walk, I’ll relax here,” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “You don’t want to come?” she shakes her head in reply. 

 

“What I must go look at photographs and all,” Seokjin laughs and nods in understanding. 

 

He thinks it might be the perfect opportunity to give Namjoon his gift. 

 

Namjoon is in a deep conversation about aerodynamics with the bird when Seokjin reaches him and it takes him a second to register that Seokjin has joined him. 

 

“Wanna go for a walk? There’s a gallery somewhere around here,” he offers. 

 

Namjoon smiles brightly before turning to the bird once more, “Okay, I gotta go now, but I’ll see you later, Gary,” then he turns and hooks Seokjin’s arm with his own. 

 

“Gary?” 

 

“What about him?” 

 

“Who told you his name was Gary?” 

 

“He did,” 

 

“The bird spoke to you?” 

 

“No, but I could sense it,” 

 

“You sensed his name was Gary?” Seokjin laughs.

 

“Shut up-” 

 

“Okay, Snow White - go off I guess,” Seokjin teases. 

 

Namjoon sighs, “Do you know whose work is in the gallery?” Seokjin turns to him with a frown. 

 

“What?” 

 

“So that’s a no,” 

 

“Shut it, I thought you might like it,” 

 

“I do, I do,” Namjoon assures him, squeezing Seokjin’s fingers in his free hand. 

 

When they reach the gallery, it’s not what Seokjin had expected. 

 

It’s weird. 

 

It’s more of a room with art hanging on the walls and mismatched furniture. There are even comic drawings on the walls, between the green vines and fairy lights. 

 

Namjoon left his side as soon as they stepped into the door.

 

So Seokjin follows him around, trying to convince himself that now would be a good time to give him the gift. 

 

Just do it - 

 

Thank you so much, Nike .

 

“Namjoon-ah!” he calls. 

 

Namjoon turns around, “Jin-hyung?” 

 

Now, “I -” he freezes. Just give the fucking present you absolute buffoon -

 

It’s not that deep. 

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon steps closer, looking concerned now. 

 

“I need to pee!” he shouts and some people in the room turn at his outburst. 

 

Namjoon chuckles, “I think the bathrooms are outside,” so Seokjin spins around. 

 

“Don’t wait up, it’s gonna be a long one!” WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ?

 

A lot of things, but now isn’t the time to discuss it . 

 

What would you like to discuss then? The fucking birds? God knows I’d have a better conversation with them .

 

I can give it to him with everyone else tonight, so the spotlight isn’t on me.  

 

Good idea! You can also toast to your long lost balls ! 

 

He finds the bathroom and just runs the water over his hands for a full minute before he makes his way to the gallery. Namjoon is talking to a young lady with soft lavender hair and a wide smile. She sort of looks like Taehyung when she grins up at Namjoon. 

 

Seokjin walks up to them and the woman immediately turns to smile at him, “Hi!” 

 

“Hi,” he greets, “Seokjin,” he introduces himself. 

 

She laughs and Seokjin smiles, it’s contagious, “I know, you had to pee right?” Seokjin can feel his ears warm. 

 

Namjoon laughs at that and comes to stand beside him, “Did you find the bathroom?” Namjoon asks dutifully. Seokjin nods. 

 

“Jodie,” she introduces herself. Her accent is strange.

 

“Pronouns are they, them - right?” Namjoon fills in and Jodie nods enthusiastically.

 

“Yeah, Jodie was telling me about their work, some of their pieces are in here actually,” Namjoon informs him.

“Where are you from?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“South Africa,” they tell him.

 

Jodie is called away after a moment of conversation and bids them a sweet farewell, complete with a hug. 

 

“She’s cute,” 

 

“ They ,”

 

“They’re cute, sorry,” he corrects. 

 

Namjoon takes his hand, “Are you okay?” 

 

Seokjin squeezes his fingers, “I’m good, you?” 

 

Namjoon smiles and shakes his head. Seokjin frowns, “Why?” 

 

“I still haven’t gotten my lapdance,” Namjoon pouts. 

 

“I still haven’t found a platypus,” Seokjin tells him and Namjoon laughs. He intertwines their fingers and Seokjin’s heart is actually in danger of pounding out of his neck. 

 

The afternoon is long and sweet with the birds and Yoon-suh’s laugh. Namjoon lies in his lap when Seokjin sits in the grass. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know how he’s going to manage tonight, he feels a little sleepy.

Chapter 15: In Which Yoon-Suh and Yoongi Need Cake (Namjoon's Birthday Pt.2)

Notes:

my brothers, pls there are some sexy times in here. Stay hydrated and don't think about namjoon calling you princess too much
Its also a lil different to the first time, so let me know what you think? Your comments encourage me a lot :) xxx

Yoon-suh said they should change before dinner, and Namjoon frowns when they walk into the apartment, “I thought we’re going to McDonald’s?” he asks innocently. 

 

Seokjin laughs and pats his face, “Put on something nice,” he tells the other man. 

 

Namjoon, however, has different plans once they walk into the bedroom. He immediately corners Seokjin in the closet and kisses him hard . Seokjin’s dick twitches when Namjoon lifts him onto the vanity table again. 

 

Namjoon’s hands wander down his pants and then they freeze. Namjoon pulls his head back and presses against the plug, “What’s this?” Eyes searching confusedly.

 

Seokjin wants to dissolve into an embarrassed mist when Namjoon looks at him and presses against the plug again. 

 

“I thought - We could, y’know?” he tries and Namjoon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

 

“You were wearing it the whole day?” He asks, calmer. 

 

Seokjin gulps and then nods. 

 

Namjoon leans forward to kiss him, muttering something that Seokjin can’t quite hear in between. He’s tugging on the long pieces of hair that Namjoon has on the nape of his neck, not worrying about anything other than them.

 

He tugs on the plug and Seokjin yelps when he presses it back in, “Namjoon-ah - we need to go,” he pants. Namjoon chuckles when Seokjin grinds against his hand for more. 

 

And then, suddenly - Namjoon pulls back and goes to the hangers. Completely at ease when he pulls a black formal shirt from the rack. 

 

Seokjin is trying to get his thoughts together. And the rest of him. 

 

Namjoon updates his cologne and comes to help Seokjin tuck the back of his shirt in from behind. He leans in and gives Seokjin a kiss on the neck, “We’ll continue later, okay?” Seokjin nods.

 

Namjoon smiles at him in the mirror and turns to walk out of the closet. Seokjin almost deflates like a balloon, but instead, he fixes the open collar shirt. It’s black but slightly more casual than Namjoon’s shirt. The dip in the neckline is also much lower, but Seokjin supposes it’s appropriate. 

 

He meets Yoon-suh and Namjoon in the lounge. Yoon-suh is trying to clasp a thick silver chain around Namjoon’s neck. She’s dressed in bell bottom jeans and a navy wrap-blouse. She even threw on some makeup and she looks a lot like the woman who would scold him for running in the house with muddy shoes. 

 

Namjoon looks fucking hot, Seokjin eyes the collar that he’s left unbuttoned down to the middle of his chest. The chain glints as he smiles at Seokjin, he even twirls to give them a full view of his outfit. Seokjin whistles and Yoon-suh cheers him on. Seokjin grabs the coat he wore earlier, patting the gift on the inside.

 

They decide to take a cab there, knowing there may be drinks involved. 

 

“Where are we goin’?” Namjoon asks for the fifth time in seven minutes. 

 

Yoon-suh groans, “Have some patience,” Namjoon whines at that and Seokjin pats his hand.

 

The country club is lovely with the evening drawing shadows across the smooth planes. The air has a slight bite and Seokjin is excited to see how they prepared the restaurant for their arrival. Everyone was told to arrive an hour earlier than six just so they had time to come and settle. 

 

He shoots a quick text to Hoseok telling him that they’ve arrived.

 

So when they walk into the old-pub looking establishment, the lights are all dimmed, “Jin?” Namjoon asks cautiously. 

 

“ SURPRISE !!!” A whole chorus yells at them and the waiters switch on the lights and Namjoon lights up. 

 

There are two really long tables pushed together, and is surrounded by everyone that they thought Namjoon might want to see. Seokjin booked the entire section of the restaurant until nine pm, with the courtesy of an open bar. 

 

Seokjin invited Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk - thinking Namjoon might appreciate seeing them too. Hoseok runs up to them and steals his boyfriend to be swallowed by the crowd of wishers. 

 

Yoon-suh follows Seokjin to the gift table and he pulls out the haphazardly wrapped gift and puts it at the bottom of the pile. 

 

“I thought you didn’t get him anything,” Yoon-suh hooks her arm in his, leading them to the three empty spots at the head of the dining table. He looks back to see Namjoon greeting some of his friends, but his eye catches his attention and he waves him over. 

 

Seokjin wriggles through the crowd to go to stand next to Namjoon and there are a pair of arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s waist. 

 

“Yoongi?” Seokjin laughs, recognizing the rings on the pale fingers.

“Hey, Jin-hyung,” Yoongi sticks his head out to greet him. 

 

“Everyone!” Namjoon shouts, grabbing Seokjin’s hand. The small crowd around them settles, “This is my boyfriend Jin,” he announces proudly. 

 

Seokjin hears Jeongguk shout, “Sexy Namjoon,” but he isn’t sure.

 

Seokjin is then introduced to a bunch of different people, one including Jackson’s partner. She’s breathtaking and has features sharp enough to slice bread. He’s really trying his best to remember everyone’s name, but its a blur of new faces. 

 

Hoseok and Yoon-suh take to the table, trying to get acquainted with everyone once they’re all seated and chattering. 

 

Then Yoon-suh’s attention falls on Jeongguk, “‘Guk?” and Jeongguk picks his head up from trying to seperate the browner breadsticks from the lighter ones. His mouth is stuffed with bread and it almost escapes him when he meets Yoon-suh’s gaze. 

 

Seokjin frowns, but Namjoon beats him to it, “How do you know Jeongguk?” 

 

Yoon-suh beckons him over, “Come here, Jungwha never said you came-way so handsome! Oyo, Namjoon-ah - this is Jungwha’s son! Same one in a pentagram!” She pulls Jeongguk’s face down to smack a bright red kiss on his cheek. 

 

“Hi, Yoon-suh Ma,” Jeongguk greets happily. And Seokjin laughs at how small the world must be. 

 

“You know Jaykay, Ajjumma?” Hoseok asks from another end of the table. Jeongguk pulls himself away from the attention and sits down between his partners.

 

“My friend’s son!” she tells him, “Jeongguk-ah! Come introduce me to your boyfriends!” and Jimin and Taehyung spring out of their chairs to go meet Yoon-suh.

 

“You know she sent one photo, but I didn’t know y’all look like models -” she comments and Seokjin smiles at the interaction. Jimin quite literally is a model - that’s how they all met.

 

Namjoon leans closer, “You know this means we know about Jeongguk’s parent’s sex life,” Seokjin frowns. And then he remembers the “Threesome Handbook”. He pulls a sour face and smacks Namjoon with a napkin. 

 

Yoon-suh is taken with Jimin, so much so that she orders the waiter to bring him a chair to sit next to her at the head of the table. 

 

Namjoon is stolen by the conversation but he keeps a warm hand on Seokjin’s thigh. 

 

Yoongi is stoned as fuck and Hoseok is laughing loudly at everything that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth, so Seokjin thinks they’re in the same boat. Seokjin is trying to listen to as many conversations as he can. 

 

They organised a set menu, so everyone gets what they want and it’s loud and Namjoon looks so happy and in his element. Yoongi pulls a chair next to Yoon-suh and they break apart a brownie from Yoongi’s pocket and share it amongst the three of them. 

 

“Ajumma!” Seokjin yells, not comprehending what he’s seeing. 

 

“What? You want some?” she offers. 

 

Seokjin laughs and Jimin grins at him, “Please don’t corrupt my mother,” Namjoon tells the two men. Seokjin didn’t know he was even paying attention to them until he spoke up. He’s been trying to talk to everyone at the table. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “This is going to be interesting,”

 

Namjoon purses his lips, “You want another drink?” Seokjin nods up at him and gives him a kiss. Namjoon smiles into it and Seokjin feels the alcohol replenish the energy he thought he’d lost. 

 

The other man signals the waiter over,

 

“Sir, the desserts may be delayed,” the waiter tells them.

 

“How long until -”

 

“Around twenty minutes, sir,” the young waiter answers quickly, looking frantic. Namjoon pats his shoulder and he orders them another vodka and sprite. 

 

A lot of the table isn't drinking, since they’ve got work in the morning. However, the same can’t be said for Seokjin’s friends. Tae is leaning heavily on Jeongguk, who he assumes is the designated driver for the night. Hoseok, Yoongi and Jimin are taking advantage of the open bar. Well, he is too. He’s taken so many tequila shots at this point, he can already feel tomorrow’s headache. 

 

Yoon-suh is keeping up with the younger men which is a sight to witness in itself, she’s brilliant. He wants to stick around until that brownie kicks in. 

 

“What he said?” Yoon-suh asks him. 

 

“Desserts are gonna take longer,” he tells her and Yoongi whines. 

 

“I want cake,” he pouts. 

 

“Should we open presents?” Yoon-suh suggests and Seokjin agrees. 

 

He stands and claps once to grab the table’s attention, “Namjoon is gonna open up some gifts now!” and the table whoops in excitement. 

 

They pull the gifts table a little closer and Namjoon stands behind it, picking and opening presents from his friends. There are pens and notebooks, a terrible printed shirt that Yoon-suh cackles at. Namjoon thanks everyone personally, looking so genuinely grateful. 

 

There are a few left on the table and Seokjin’s heart pounds as he reaches for the horribly wrapped gift he’d thrown on the table earlier. 

 

“Who’s this from?” Namjoon flips it over, looking for a name. Seokjin sits quietly, heart pounding erratically in his chest. 

 

Namjoon still hasn’t gotten an answer, so he tears the paper apart and looks at the brown leather-bound book. He turns it to look at the spine and he reads the golden inscription. Seokjin knows what it says.

 

Then he opens the book and his jaw drops to the floor. He looks up at Seokjin, eyes looking damp, “Hyung?” he lifts a hand to his mouth to stop himself and Seokjin smiles at him. 

 

“Come here,” so Seokjin wakes up and walks to Namjoon who’s trying to page through the book, tears falling freely now. Seokjin doesn’t think he’d ever seen Namjoon cry. 

 

Well, at least not recently.  

 

He engulfs Seokjin in a hug, and holds him for a quiet moment. He can’t hear anything, other than Namjoon’s sniffles. 

 

“Where’d you find it?“ he asks when he pulls back. 

 

Seokjin shrugs. He didn’t expect Namjoon to cry. 

 

“Thank you,” the younger man tells him, “thank you so much,” he says, voice crackling. 

 

Namjoon leans in and kisses Seokjin, and it’s wet - and slow, and Seokjin doesn’t think he’s ever felt like this for a kiss. Its not sexual in the slightest but he can feel it, right down to his toes. Like a sweep of golden light cascading down and when Namjoon pulls back- Seokjin just stares at him for a moment. 

 

Seokjin can’t feel anything but awe, still feeling the glitter in his blood swirling around.

 

Namjoon’s eyes flicker between his and - 

 

“What Jinnie got you?” Yoon-suh’s voice cuts through the moment and Seokjin swallows. 

 

Namjoon holds the book up, “Remember dad’s book? The Jules Verne one-“ 

 

“Journey to the Centre of the Earth?” She asks, frowning. 

 

Namjoon nods, smiling brightly, “He had it restored,” he tells her and the table “awws”.

 

“Lemme see!” She beckons them over. 

 

The whole table gathers to look at the weathered book. And Yoon-suh’s eyes water at the sight of her late husband’s annotations, scrawled all over the place.

 

“He loved this book so much,” she says, fingers tracing the remnants of her husband. 

 

Namjoon opens the rest of the gifts and it’s not as heart-warming as the book, but Namjoon keeps it close.

 

When he’s seated, Yoon-suh stands and taps on her cocktail glass with a fork, “I’d like to have everyone’s attention,” she says and the table immediately quietens. 

 

Seokjin frowns and Namjoon looks at him with an equally confused expression. 

 

“I just want to toast to my baby boy. Namjoon, you have grown into such a fine young man,” she starts, “Your father would be so proud of the man standing before us today,” she smiles sadly. 

 

“The beautiful people you’ve surrounded yourself with,” she gestures around the table with her glass, “and Jinnie,” Seokjin’s face falls at the mention of his name. 

 

“There is no one else I would have love my son the way you do,” she winks at him and Seokjin’s dinner tries to escape him. But he gulps. 

 

“I think I speak on behalf of the table when I say: we’re so grateful to have you, son,” she tells Namjoon. Seokjin swallows again, trying to keep his food in place. 

 

Yoongi suddenly stands up, “To Namjoon!” He raises the whiskey in his hand and the table joins them in the toast. Seokjin might just kiss Yoongi.

 

“Right, now where’s my cheesecake?” Yoon-suh asks and the table dissolves into laughter and chatter.

 

A few people take their leave, and Seokjin even hugs Jackson goodbye. 

 

There’s only a few people left littered around the table. 

 

“Y’all off tomorrow or what?” Yoon-suh asks Jimin. 

 

Jimin shrugs, “Only shooting next week,” 

 

Yoongi grins and Hoseok wiggles his shoulder, Jeongguk shoves him.

 

“Sorry, ‘Guk,” Taehyung kisses his cheek. Jeongguk is laying off the drinks until he’s stable enough on his medication, or so far as Seokjin understood. 

 

“And you?” Namjoon asks Taehyung. 

 

He smiles, “I’m free for the next three weeks,” he leans back with a glass of red wine. It has a straw in it. 

 

“Jimin-ah said you’re a designer?” Yoon-suh asks. 

 

Taehyung grins even wider and that drifts the conversation off to the throuple’s pursuits. 

 

Dessert is quick and Seokjin doesn’t want the night to end just yet. 

 

Luckily, Jimin has the same thoughts, “Who wants to go dancing?” he suggests. 

 

Namjoon laughs and raises his hand. Yoongi pulls his face. 

 

“Why? What club will be open on a Monday night?” Yoon-suh asks. 

 

“I have a friend,” he wiggles his brows, “we can go to Ratz?” Hoseok groans at Jimin. 

 

“What?” Yoon-suh asks. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you stay away from any sidewalks,” he tells Hoseok. Seokjin remembers waking up to Hoseok whining about scraped knees and raw palms. 

 

It’s only the eight of them left hanging around the table. 

 

“Did anyone bring a car?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin frowns at him. 

 

Taehyung answers quickly though, “Yeah, ‘Guk drove us,” he tells them. 

 

“Can we put the presents in the boot? Then we can go straight to the club,” Namjoon suggests. Seokjin didn’t even think of that. 

 

Jeongguk agrees easily and everyone, save for Yoongi, Yoon-suh and Jimin, gets to carrying the stuff out to their SUV. 

 

Seokjin goes to the host’s table. He knows more or less what he’s being expected to pay so he gets his wallet ready. 

 

“Mr. Kim! How may I help you?” The young lady with bright red hair asks jovially. 

 

“We’re about to wrap-up, so I just wanted to know where I can pay,” her face falls with a deep frown. 

 

“Give me a moment,” she turns on her heel and runs to the back, supposedly grabbing the manager. 

 

The red-head comes back to him, smiling brightly, “Mr. Kim, we’ve already charged payment to your card,” and he frowns. 

 

“Is there a way to see the transaction?” he asks, because he sure as hell did not give anyone his fucking card details. 

 

“Sure!” She begins tapping on the keyboard and the light of the screen glares in her face. 

 

“You can come around to have a look, Mr. Kim,” she tells him and he walks around the podium. 

 

Charged to:

 

 Account Holder: Mr Namjung Kim

 

And the rest are just his father’s fucking details. 

 

What the actual fuck ?

 

“Sorry, give me a moment,” he didn’t show up, so why-

 

“Is there a problem, sir?” A man in a black waistcoat addresses him. 

 

“Yeah, well - how did you get those details?” 

 

“Earlier this week, we were contacted and instructed to charge anything for the booking “Seokjin Kim” under this card,” the man informs him, “is there a problem?” 

 

Seokjin is shocked to say the least, but he pastes on a smile and shakes his head. 

 

“Not at all, just surprised,” he tells them. 

 

He checked his emails earlier this week for the deposit details but it never came. He never thought to question why they called him asking about the menu and not the cash.  

 

The man nods and smiles.

 

“Everything okay?” Yoongi asks, and Seokjin turns to him. 

 

Seokjin pulls him away from the staff, “My father paid for everything but he didn’t even bother to show up,” he tells his friend. 

 

Yoongi just shrugs, “Free food,” he grins. Seokjin frowns but doesn’t comment. 

 

Everyone is picking up their stuff, ready to depart to the club. 

 

Seokjin excuses himself to make a call. He doesn’t answer Namjoon’s questioning frown. 

 

His father answers the phone, “Seokjin?”

 

“Dad?”

 

A cough, “How can I help you?” 

 

“Did you give the restaurant your details for the bill?” Seokjin doesn’t waste any time getting to the point. 

 

There’s a pause, and Seokjin thinks he might have been disconnected. Then, “Yes,” 

 

“Wh- You didn’t even come?” 

 

“I didn’t think I would be welcome,” 

 

“I literally sent you an invite,” Seokjin fires back. 

 

A hum, “Did you have a good evening?” What ? Since when does his father ask personal questions?

 

“Um, yes?” 

 

“Send Namjoon my wishes,” his father tells him. 

 

“Okay - and dad?” 

 

“Seokjin?” 

 

“Thank you,” he mumbles. 

 

A brief pause, “You’re welcome,” he tells Seokjin. The line goes dead and Seokjin looks at his phone screen for a moment. 

 

What the fuck is going on ?

 

“Jin-hyung?” Taehyung calls him. 

 

Seokjin turns to see him standing at the table and smiling at him, “Tae?” 

 

“Ready?” 

 

He nods, “Where’s everyone?” 

 

“In the car,” he tells him. 

 

“ Everyone ?” Seokjin asks again. It’s a five-seater. 

 

“Yip, and Jimin is sitting on Namjoon’s mom,” Seokjin’s eyes widen. 

 

“No, she asked for it,” Taehyung tells him.

 

Seokjin laughs and walks out to the car. 

 

Jeongguk is at the wheel, trying to dodge Hoseok’s arms around the headrest. Hoseok is on top of Yoongi. The latter is wrapped snug around Hoseok’s waist. Yoon-suh is blinking slowly at Jimin, who’s giggling and pinching Namjoon’s cheeks in the front seat.

 

It’s a sight, to say the least. 

 

“Wanna sit in the back or with Namjoon?” Taehyung asks. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “You can sit on Namjoonie,” he wags his brows. 

 

Taehyung rolls his eyes, opening the backdoor, “I’m sure his thighs would be very comfortable,” and Seokjin grins. 

 

“Whose thighs are comfortable?” he hears Jimin asking before Taehyung shuts the door. 

 

Seokjin jumps in the front, he tries to be courteous about it but Namjoon just pulls him on his lap.

 

He shifts his thigh beneath him and -

 

Oh yeah .

 

“You good?” Namjoon asks him, mouth against his shoulder. 

 

He gulps, “Yes,” he answers. 

 

Not in a car full of your fucking family, including Namjoon’s mother. Calm down . 

 

Namjoon shifts his leg again and Seokjin jolts at the movement of the plug. 

 

“Everyone in?” Jeongguk shouts. 

 

“Aye aye captain!” Jimin shouts. 

 

“Y’all better pray we don’t get stopped by the cops,” 

 

“FUCK THE POLICE,” Yoon-suh shouts abruptly and Yoongi howls with laughter. 

 

“Comin’ straight from the underground,” Hoseok adds. Jeongguk starts the car with a smile and they’re off.

 

It’s a mess because Hoseok keeps trying to dance with Jimin and he keeps knocking Jeongguk on the head. Seokjin receives multiple glares from the younger man. 

 

Yoon-suh is trying to sing along to the radio, but she’s singing everything . Including the instrumentals. 

 

Seokjin is pretty sure Taehyung is recording the havock. 

 

Namjoon shifts his thigh again, “Namjoon-” he turns.

 

And Namjoon is looking straight at him, “Hyung?” he replies with a quirk of his brow. 

 

The fucker knows exactly what he’s doing . 

 

Namjoon tilts his head and lifts his thigh against Seokjin, “Problem?” he smiles. 

 

Seokjin narrows his eyes and turns back around. He shifts his weight backwards to sit against the other man’s crotch, “No problem,” he grounds himself down, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. 

 

When Jeongguk goes over a speedbump, he hears Namjoon hiss. So he pastes on a smile, “ Problem, honey ?” 

 

Namjoon laughs and pinches the side of his thigh. 

 

“Guys, just keep it in for two more minutes, we’re almost there-” Jeongguk tells them. Taehyung laughs and Jimin sticks his head forward. 

 

“Y’all havin’ sex?” he asks bluntly. 

 

“Yah! Have some respect - wait until we’re out of the car at least,” Yoongi groans. Seokjin blushes deeply. 

 

“No one is having sex!” he shouts, embarrassed. 

 

“I want car sex,” Jimin announces. 

 

“I’m too old for that shit,” Yoon-suh comments and Hoseok snorts. 

 

“How would a threesome work in a car?” Namjoon wonders outloud. 

 

“Actually…” Hoseok adds. 

 

“Well, it’s not as hard as you’re thinking,” Taehyung tells them. 

 

“Y’all had car sex?” Seokjin turns his head. It’s pointless because he can only see Jimin and Hoseok.

 

“We’ve had a lot of sex,” he hears Taehyung answer. 

 

“Yip, in this car too,” Jimin pats the seat. 

 

“Jeongguk, unlock the doors! I’ll walk there-” Yoongi yells and Seokjin can hear him fiddling with the door handle. 

 

Namjoon laughs beneath him. 

 

“I remember being that young,” Yoon-suh comments. 

 

“Ma!” Namjoon groans. 

 

“What? Where you think you came from?” she snaps at Namjoon. 

 

“You and dad planted a seed in the ground, that’s it! ” he shouts. Seokjin smiles. 

 

“Your dad planted a seed in my ground,” she tells him and he groans loudly. The whole car laughs at his demise and Seokjin uses the dashboard to balance himself.

 

“We’re here!” Jeongguk shouts. Seokjin hadn’t even realised he’d parked the car amongst the laughter. 

 

He unlocks the door and Yoongi is, unsurprisingly, the first one to slip out. Seokjin pats down his coat to make sure his wallet and house keys are still in his pockets.

 

Namjoon jumps out of the car and dusts his pants off. He looks up at Seokjin, “You should wear this shirt more,” he tells him before closing the door. Seokjin looks down. It’s loose on him because of his shoulders, the silken material opens deeply against his chest. 

 

It’s just a shirt.

 

“C’mon, guys!” Jimin calls.

 

The club is busy for a monday night and Seokjin can’t imagine why. It’s mostly men and a few masculine presenting women in the crowd.

“It’s a gay nightclub?” Namjoon asks, taking in his surroundings. 

 

Seokjin nods. The music is pumping and vibrating the floor and they walk to a little booth near the dancefloor. It seats everyone comfortably. 

 

“I feel like I’m in a movie,” Yoon-suh tells the table. Taehyung laughs and holds her hand comfortingly. 

 

“Get me a drink, baby?” she tells him. Taehyung signals the waiter over and they all order individual drinks and a bottle of tequila and shot glasses for the table. 

 

The waiter goes off with their order. 

 

When their drinks come, Seokjin watches Yoon-suh and Yoongi swallow their entire glasses of Jack and coke. He winces - it was a triple shot each. He sips his vodka and redbull (for a kick). 

 

Everyone is obliged (by Jimin) to take three shots of tequila before they start the night. Hoseok’s eyes water. Jimin scolds him and tells him to swallow. 

 

Yoongi snorts and pulls out another brownie, breaking it to share with Yoon-suh, Jimin, Hoseok and himself. 

 

Where is he pulling them from ?

 

Seokjin turns to the dancefloor and watches the men covered in glitter receive praise. 

Hoseok and Jimin pull Yoon-suh to the crowd, absolutely lost in the music. Seokjin smiles at his friends. 

 

Namjoon places a hand on his thigh, so he turns his head, “Wanna dance?” 

 

He scrunches his nose, “Why not?” and he lifts himself and pulls Namjoon up. 

 

He leads them to the dancefloor, “So are we actually going to dance?” He asks. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “What?” 

 

“We only ever slow dance,” he laughs. 

 

Namjoon nods, “I can’t dance,” he leans in close to whisper. 

 

Seokjin laughs and shrugs. 

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon calls after a moment of swaying to the music. 

 

“Namjoonie?” he smiles, feeling a little dizzy with the bass. 

 

“Thanks for the gift,” he tells him and even in the flashing lights in the room, Seokjin can see the genuineness in his smile. 

 

He shrugs again and fiddles with the hair at the nape of Namjoon’s neck, “I’m glad you like it,” 

 

“I love it,” Namjoon leans in, “but…” he stops just short of Seokjin’s lips.

 

Seokjin looks at him, “But what?” 

 

Namjoon’s hands travel down his waist, down to his hips and then - “I think I saw a pigeon,” he tells Seokjin. He grabs his ass and pulls him flush against him. 

 

“We just got here,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

Namjoon pecks him on the lips, all the while his hands slide in Seokjin’s back pockets, “It’s my birthday,” he kisses him again, “What are they gonna say?” 

 

Seokjin looks at the crowd. Yoongi is dancing with Taehyung and Jeongguk, looking free and completely his age. Jimin and Hoseok are teaching Yoon-suh how to twerk and then - 

 

“ Fuck !” Seokjin smells the beer dripping down his shirt before he feels it. Namjoon breaks away from him in the rush.

 

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry doll - lemme get some napkins!” A man in leather hot-pants shouts. 

 

“No, no - it’s fine!” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“I’m so sorry!” He tells them, looking rather panicked.

 

“It’s okay,” he assures the other man. 

 

Hoseok, Taehyung, Jeongguk and Yoongi come with matching frowns, “What happened?” Yoongi asks.

 

“Some guy spilled beer on Jin-hyung,” Namjoon tells them. 

 

Yoongi frowns deeper, “Where’s he? Imma fight a bitch-”

 

“Calm down, Rambo,” Seokjin laughs.

 

“Who wants to smoke?” Hoseok asks out of nowhere. 

 

“I just got beer spilled on me,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

Taehyung follows, “I heard we smokin’?” He sounds excited. 

 

“When the fuck did you start smoking?” Namjoon presses Hoseok. He shrugs. Jeongguk comes along and they leave Jimin and Yoon-suh on the floor. 

 

“I’m just gonna go check up on them,” Namjoon tells him and kisses his temple.

 

Yoongi pokes his tongue against his cheek and Seokjin just orders another drink. He needs it. 

 

Outside is a mess. 

 

Taehyung tries to get Jeongguk to smoke and the younger man just coughs his entire chest out of himself. Hoseok laughs and stands close to Yoongi.

 

Seokjin feels sticky and gross. So much so that he grabs Yoongi’s cigarette out of his hand and puffs it. 

 

Yoongi raises a brow.

 

“I’m cold,” Seokjin reasons. It’s gross and he coughs before handing it back. 

 

Hoseok puffs his cloud of smoke to the side, “Walk with me, Hyung?” he looks at Seokjin. 

 

“Yah! Y’all gonna leave me?” Yoongi cries. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Make sure ‘Guk doesn’t die,” he tells him. 

 

Hoseok hooks his arm around Seokjin. 

 

They walk around the parking lot, and only once they’re far from the noise and chatter of the smokers, does Hoseok say, “Can I ask you something?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Sure,” 

 

“What’s going on with you and Namjoon?” he asks. 

 

Seokjin gulps and looks around them. 

 

“Nothing,” 

 

“Hyung,” 

 

“We’re faking a relationship?” 

 

“Try again,” Hoseok throws him a dull look. 

 

“Okay and we’re sleeping with each other?” 

 

“And?” 

 

“And what? That’s it,” 

 

“Hyung, you can be honest with me,” 

 

“Honest about what?” 

 

Hoseok sighs deeply, “Are you gonna tell him?”

 

And Seokjin looks at him. He watches him take a deep drag from his cigarette. He watches the streetlights illuminate the sharpness of his jaw and the softness of his smile. 

 

“Tell him what? That I’m allergic to garlic? I’m sure he already-“

 

“ Seokjin -“

 

Seokjin looks to the sky and he laughs. 

 

Hoseok looks at him with pity. 

 

“Hey! Don’t give me that shit! When are you gonna tell him?” 

 

Hoseok smiles and its heartbreaking, “When he decides he’s ready,”

 

“Wait!? What? You discussed it?” Seokjin asks, flabbergasted. 

 

Hoseok nods and the tendrils of smoke twirl high above them. 

 

“And?” 

 

“He doesn’t want to disappoint me or whatever,” he says, “but he said when he’s ready.” Seokjin hugs his friend. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he says into the hug. 

 

Hoseok pulls back and shakes his head, “Nothin’ to be sorry about,” he smiles. And Seokjin’s heart breaks apart a little more.

 

“Hobes, you know-”

 

“He loves me?” he cuts Seokjin off, “You know, everyone thinks it’s obvious, and yet he was the one to tell me no,” he looks at the silhouettes by the entrance. 

 

“It has more to do with him,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

Hoseok sighs, “But it’s good to see Namjoon-ah and you together,” Seokjin gulps. 

 

“It’s not real,” he says quietly. 

 

“Okay,” Hoseok says and smiles. 

 

Hoseok lifts his damp shirt with distaste, “You smell like beer,” Seokjin huffs a laugh and smacks his hand away. 

 

“That was a thoughtful gift you gave Namjoonie,” he tells him while they’re walking back. 

 

Seokjin shrugs.

 

“So you both talked about it?” 

 

“About what?” 

 

“Namjoon not being super homophobic or whatever the fuck you thought,” Hoseok adds.

 

Seokjin laughs and nods, “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

 

“It wasn’t our place,” he says, “ and mentioning Namjoon would literally set you off,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin cringes. 

 

“How the tide changes,”

 

“How it does indeed,” Hoseok agrees and smiles at Yoongi’s silhouette. 

Seokjin ends up on the dancefloor, laughing at his friends. He doesn’t think he’s drunk - but is probably doing much worse. He feels so warm and grateful. 

 

Namjoon has a glass in his hand, dancing beside Jimin and Seokjin watches him. He looks so young here, hair mussed up, smiling freely -

 

“We should get more shots!” Taehyung shouts and Seokjin allows himself to be dragged to the table.

 

“I fucken love tequila!” Yoon-suh yells when they get to the table. Yoongi downs his shot in agreement.

 

“Namjoon, I need to tell you something,” Jimin wags a very drunk finger at his boyfriend. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Yeah?” 

 

“This is our mom now,” he tells Namjoon, very seriously.

 

“Hey! She’s my ma too!” Hoseok hugs Yoon-suh. Yoon-suh doesn’t even look like she knows what they’re saying but she’s grinning.

 

“I have seven babies now,” Yoon-suh lifts her glass in agreement. 

 

They all laugh and cheers at their newly adopted mother. Taehyung kisses Jeongguk on the cheek, hard .

 

Seokjin is back on the floor, but there’s a body behind him, hands on his waist. They’re dancing and Yoongi is drunk enough to be pushed in the middle of their makeshift circle. Seokjin screams his heart out when Hoseok joins Yoongi in whatever the fuck they’re doing. 

 

Then someone places a kiss on his neck and Seokjin turns his head. He smiles up at Namjoon, “Hey,” 

 

Namjoon grins back, “Hey,” he leans down to peck his nose. 

 

“Please look at my mom,” he tells Seokjin. Seokjin follows his line of sight to find Yoon-suh dancing in the middle of Jimin and Taehyung. 

 

“It’s like a Yoon-suh sandwich,” he giggles, laughing at his own joke. 

 

Namjoon groans, “Don’t say that,” he laughs into Seokjin’s neck. 

 

“I want a sandwich,” he thinks out loud. 

 

Namjoon lifts his head, “You hungry?” 

 

“No, but I want a sandwich,” he replies and he can feel Namjoon laugh. 

 

He turns his head, “You look squishy when you smile,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

The other man laughs, “What?” 

 

“I like when you smile,” he tells him easily and stands a little taller to kiss Namjoon on the mouth. 

 

Namjoon takes the opportunity to spin Seokjin around, “You’re kinda drunk,” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “ You’re kinda drunk,”

 

Namjoon smiles and leans in a little closer, “May I?” Seokjin nods and wraps his arms around Namjoon’s neck. 

 

The other man leans down to kiss him and Seokjin feels like bubbles. He smiles into the kiss when he hears the crowd around them cheer. 

 

“Grab his ass!” he hears someone shout.

 

“Ajumma!” he hears Yoongi yell back. 

 

Namjoon laughs against his mouth and breaks the kiss, “You wanna get out of here?” he asks. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “You can try being less cheesy,” 

 

“No,” he grins. 

 

Just then Taehyung grabs Seokjin’s arm, “ Hyung ! I want more shots,” he whines like a child, pulling on Seokjin’s sleeve.

 

“Yah! Let me have some alone time with my boyfriend,” Namjoon hugs him, smelling like liquor and chocolate. 

 

Taehyung laughs, “Okay, okay,” he puts his hands up in surrender. 

 

“We’re gonna leave now,” Namjoon tells everyone, hugging Seokjin while guiding them back to the booth.

 

Jimin pouts, “But we just got here!” 

 

“We’ve been here for two hours,” Jeongguk hushes his partner.

 

“It’s fine, let them go have consequences,” Yoon-suh blurts out, “I’m gonna go find Namjoon a step-daddy,” everyone laughs except Namjoon.

 

Namjoon groans, “Here’s the keys,” he pulls out his keys from his pants pocket and hands it to her. 

 

“Please take care of my mother,” he looks at Hoseok. 

 

“At this rate you might end up with a step-mom,” Jimin giggles. 

 

“What?” 

 

“There was a girl looking at your ma’s twerking,” Namjoon whines in protest at Jimin’s announcement. 

 

They take their leave and everyone screams, loudly, “Use protection!” 

 

Yoon-suh shuts them up, “DON’T LISTEN TO THEM - I WANT GRANDBABIES!” Seokjin cringes.

 

The crowd cheers and Seokjin feels his ears light up.

 

Namjoon orders them a cab and they stand in the chilly air, coddled together. 

 

Seokjin bursts out laughing. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “What?” 

 

“Everyone knows why we left,” he puts his face in his hands. 

 

Namjoon snickers besides him, “It’s not so bad,” 

 

“Your mother knows, Namjoon,” he tells him. Namjoon just laughs harder and stuffs his hands beneath Seokjin’s coat to keep warm.

 

The cab pulls up to them and they get into the backseat, huddled together. 

 

It’s relatively uneventful, save for the hand that Namjoon keeps steady on Seokjin’s inner thigh. He strokes his thumb slowly against the seam of his pants. 

 

Namjoon pays the cab fare and Seokjin is feeling a little more than antsy when he jumps out of the cab. 

 

Why? He doesn’t know. 

So when Seokjin pulls out his keys to the apartment, Namjoon is upon him, he says, “I need to shower,” and bolts to the bathroom. He doesn’t wait for Namjoon’s reaction or response. 

 

He closes the door and runs the water so it can get warm. He undresses and pulls out the pink lingerie pieces from between the towels. 

 

He breathes deeply. 

 

Okay, shower first . 

 

Right.

 

The shower is quick and Seokjin has to take out the plug to wash everywhere . It’s just hanging out on the floor before he picks it up and wraps it in his towel. He rubs on some cream before trying to find his way through the loops and bands of the lingerie. 

 

What the fuck did they make this so fucking complicated for ?

But eventually, despite his frustration, he gets it on. 

 

The bralette is the most heinous thing because it’s a fucking mission to get the stupid straps across his chest in order. The garter is a little cooperative and he spends a whole ten minutes rolling up the stupid fucking stockings to go on his legs. The garter wraps around his waist and reaches down his thighs. The fucking clips are nightmares. Because it’s supposed to go around his thighs but how the fuck is he supposed to clip this shit?

 

“Jin-hyung?” Namjoon’s voice startles him. 

 

“Coming!” he shouts. 

 

“You okay?” 

 

“Yeah! Totally fine, be with you in a sec!” 

 

“Okay?” but Namjoon leaves him be with the stupid fucking clips. 

 

At least the underwear is easy, he reasons. How the fuck are women doing this ?

 

He manages and his blood pressure is all kinds of fucked up and he might just pass out but he grabs his bathrobe and hopes Namjoon doesn’t laugh at him. 

 

Fuck . 

 

He gives himself a once over in the mirror.

I look fine . I look hot.

 

You look like you get paid in singles .

 

Wasn’t that the point ?

 

Touche .

 

 He unlocks the bathroom door, carrying his towel (and buttplug) to his room. 

 

Seokjin isn’t surprised to find Namjoon sitting on his bed when he enters. But his heart rate picks up tenfold and he runs into the closet to hang up his towel. The plug falls out and - 

 

“Hyung?” Seokjin jumps at Namjoon’s voice. 

 

“Are you - “ he frowns, and looks at Seokjin’s feet, “You’re wearing socks?” 

 

Seokjin looks down and sees the sheer stockings and closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

 

“No, well, kind of,-” 

 

“Listen, if I pressured you in any-”

 

“No! You didn’t-”

 

“You’re not obligated t-”

 

“ Namjoon ,” he calls, “Listen to me,” he says. Namjoon shuts his mouth and ceases his banter. 

 

“Don’t laugh, okay?” He steps back, closer to the vanity. Namjoon frowns but nods. 

 

Seokjin pulls the robe’s belt and it comes undone. Namjoon’s frown completely drops off his face. 

 

“ Jin ,” he sounds pained. 

 

He puts out a hand towards Seokjin like he wants to touch. Namjoon’s eyes lift to meet his, and Seokjin nods at the silent question. 

 

At that, Namjoon steps forward, reaching for the shoulders of the robe to push it off. It pools at Seokjin’s feet and even though the shower sort of sobered him up- he feels his heartbeat right down to his feet and it makes him dizzy. 

 

“May I?” Namjoon asks, searching Seokjin’s eyes desperately. 

Seokjin leans in, “Please,” he whispers against Namjoon’s mouth. And god , Seokjin has never had a kiss that tastes like nectar. 

 

In reality, it probably tastes like liquor, but it feels like the gods are pouring liquid gold into his bloodstream when Namjoon swipes his tongue into his mouth all the while running his hands down his waist. 

 

Seokjin manages to undo some of the offending buttons on Namjoon’s shirt. 

 

The vanity table must be getting real tired of his ass, because he’s on it again. Namjoon’s hands are gentle and curious as they run over the lace patterns wrapping around him. 

 

Namjoon pulls back, running his hands up Seokjin’s thighs, looking like he’s thinking. Seokjin looks at the way his shirt hangs open, exposing his dark chest-

 

“Did you take the plug out?” He asks. 

 

Seokjin nods, not really knowing how he understood the question. 

 

Namjoon leans in to nip at his bare shoulder, “ You look so fucking hot, ” a kiss on his neck. He shudders in response. 

 

He lifts his head to peck his jaw, “ Been waiting to fuck you the whole week ,” Then his chin, “ so pretty ,” next to his mouth, “ just for me ,” a lick on the other side of his jaw. 

 

Seokjin pants, trying to come up with anything to say-

 

“ This is for me, right? ” 

 

Say something, you fucking idiot?!

 

He smells so good - fuck.

 

You are the stupidest mother-

 

“ This is for me, right, princess?” Namjoon cups him through the panties and it’s a hundred times better than normal underwear. 

 

Maybe he likes stupid. 

 

” Yours ,” he chokes out, watching the satisfied smile spread on Namjoon’s face. 

 

Fuck, that’s hot. 

 

Yeah, can’t disagree there. 

 

Suddenly, Namjoon pulls back, “Stay right there, okay?” Seokjin nods dumbly, leaning his weight on his hands against the cold marble. 

 

Namjoon runs out of the closet, but is back not a second later with a familiar bottle in his hand. 

 

It’s the honey lube-

 

Seokjin doesn’t understand what’s going on when Namjoon pulls the small stool closer between his legs and sits.

 

“What’re you do-“ 

 

Namjoon hooks Seokjin’s legs over his arms, and he sucks in a breath. 

 

“If it’s too much or if you're uncomfortable - you’re going to tell me, understand?” Namjoon looks up to him. His knees are hooked on his shoulders now. 

 

“ Jin-” 

 

Seokjin snaps back to himself, “Yes,” he says, feeling his pulse in his throat. 

 

Seokjin watches Namjoon zero in on his inner thighs. He kisses the soft skin there, marking it as he moves higher. Seokjin moans softly, raking his hands through the other man’s hair. Watching him suck purple bruises into his thighs at his own leisure.

 

  Finally , he leans in and mouths at Seokjin’s erection. It’s absolute hell and nirvana at the same time. 

 

He can’t explain it, but he suspects the lace has something to do with the sensation, he cries out and bucks his hips up. 

 

And then it’s over and Seokjin- 

 

“I don’t want to take it off,” Namjoon pouts at his crotch. 

 

“ Namjoon,” he groans. 

 

Instead of ripping of the stupid material, Namjoon lifts his hips upwards, so he’s essentially leaning against the mirror of the vanity. 

 

“Hey!” 

 

He hears the other man chuckle when the material of the underwear shifts. 

 

“You can just take it off,” Seokjin whines. 

 

Namjoon lifts his brow, peeking his head from below, “You’re telling me how to unwrap my birthday gift?”

Seokjin laughs and immediately yelps when he feels a pinch under his thigh.

 

He expects Namjoon’s mouth on his dick, waiting for it and then, 

 

“ Fuck ,” he jumps at the flick of tongue against his entrance. 

 

And then another flick- 

 

“ Namjoon,” he sighs. The only response he gets is a deep hum and the man is back at it. 

 

Seokjin leans his head back against the mirror, “ Shit, ah -“ Namjoon lifts his head but Seokjin is too busy trying not to die. And then he feels Namjoon’s fingers, now coated in lube, prod against his entrance.

 

Seokjin drops his mouth open when he feels the first finger slide in. 

 

Namjoon ducks his head again and Seokjin feels his tongue slide in along with his finger-

 

“ Namjoon, fuck - “ he grabs his hair, heels digging dangerously into the other man’s back. Slowly stretching him with another finger -

 

Namjoon crooks them and it hits the little bundle of nerves, “ Ah, fuck - please, ” he shouts, feeling his chest lift erratically with each breath. 

 

“ Taste so good ,” Namjoon mutters, pulling his fingers out. And then spreads Seokjin’s cheeks further apart with his warm fingers - 

 

“ Namjoon, please -“ 

 

Namjoon leans in and Seokjin feels the heat of his mouth against his entrance- the lube slowly cooling down. 

 

Namjoon roughly licks into him, and Seokjin grinds down. Trying to fuck himself on that skillful tongue.

 

“ Namjoon, please- fuck fuck fuck - ,” he cries, pulling on his hair. He feels Namjoon’s hum in him. 

 

Seokjin sobs, head thrown back, as Namjoon fucks him with his tongue. He reaches down to grab his neglected cock, trying to reach that sweet spot. 

 

Namjoon immediately pulls back, “ Aha, baby, no touching ,” he tells Seokjin. He can see the lube glistening on his lips and Seokjin releases himself. 

 

“Wanna move this to the bed?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin looks at him. 

 

He doesn’t trust his legs to carry him right now, but he nods despite himself. 

 

Namjoon wakes up and steps closer to Seokjin, wrapping his arms around his waist, “Hold on,” he says and lifts Seokjin off the vanity. Seokjin laughs when Namjoon lays him on the bed like a precious gem and crawls over him. 

 

“I’m not made of glass,” he tells the other man, adjusting himself on the pillows. 

 

Namjoon is leaning over him so his hair hangs around his head and he smiles down at Seokjin, “ But you look so pretty ,” he tells him. And then he leans back on his heels. 

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Shhh, I’m looking,” he shuts Seokjin up. He watches Namjoon trail his fingers over the straps on his thighs, up to his garter. He watches Namjoon take in the purple bruises he left there, breathing harder when his fingers sweep over them. Like he could feel it.

 

He squirms under Namjoon’s heated gaze, because he’s just fucking staring . 

 

“It’s weird - stop ,” he whines, sitting up. Namjoon grins and leans forward to kiss him. Seokjin hooks his arms around his shoulders so he doesn’t lose his balance as Namjoon guides him back down to the pillows. 

 

Seokjin laughs into the kiss and Namjoon pulls back slightly with a frown, “What?” 

 

And he laughs a little harder, trying to resume the kiss but it's a lost cause he flops back with a mound of giggles overtaking him. 

 

“Was the red bull too much?” Namjoon asks, trying hard not to laugh. 

 

Seokjin looks at him, “It’s funny,” he barks out.

 

“What is?” 

 

“I literally - Your mom is trying to find a piece of ass, Yoongi and Hobi spoke about their feelings - we’re having sex and you taste like lube-” Seokjin manages to get out. 

 

“We’re not even- wait, Hobi and Yoongs spoke?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin nods, rubbing the tears from his eyes. 

 

“ And !?”

 

Seokjin sighs, “Yoongi isn’t ready,” and he sees Namjoon’s face fall. 

 

“It’s been years,” he frowns, still looking down at Seokjin, leaning over him. 

 

Seokjin smiles and reaches up to pull Namjoon down, “They’ll figure it out,” he brushes his hair at his neck, “now kiss me,” 

 

“You want me to kiss you after speaking about my mom ?” Namjoon keeps his head in place. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Yes,” sliding his foot up Namjoon’s clothed calf.

 

Namjoon shakes his head, “I can’t - I think my dick even went soft,” Seokjin rolls his hips up into his. 

 

When Namjoon hisses, Seokjin grins, “You sure about that?” Namjoon smiles as he leans down to kiss Seokjin. 

 

And Seokjin still feels giddy, he doesn’t know -

 

“What now?” Namjoon pulls back exasperated, but the look drops into something softer when he sees Seokjin smiling up at him. 

 

Seokjin looks at Namjoon and feels that same warmth spread throughout him, right down to his toes, “I’m happy,” he says simply. 

 

Namjoon smiles with a frown, “You’re happy?” 

 

Seokjin beams at Namjoon and nods. Namjoon doesn’t hesitate to lean down to kiss him, and he kisses him. Seokjin feels himself being pressed into the mattress further.

 

Things start to pick up pace, and Namjoon is grinding his hips down against Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin throws his head back, breaking the kiss. He sucks at the sensitive spot below Seokjin’s jaw, teasing at the bralette. Just sweeps over the material, sending jolts of pleasure through his nipples. 

 

Namjoon reaches under the material and pinches at his nipple - “Namjoon-ah!” He laughs. 

 

“What?” 

 

“It’s your birthday, - shouldn’t, ah - I be,” he cuts himself off with a hiss when Namjoon sucks a bite on his collarbone. 

 

“ What do you want? ” he whispers the question into his clavicle. 

 

“ I- ,” Seokjin breathes out, “ please ,” he tells Namjoon.

 

Namjoon groans as he meets Seokjin’s hips with his own, “ Wanna ride me, princess? ” he asks.

 

Seokjin lets out a whimper and nods, pulling Namjoon’s hand down to his crotch. 

 

Namjoon slips his hand beneath the panty, “ This for me? ” he strokes Seokjin at an excruciating pace.

 

“ Yes - fuck ,” he leans up to kiss Namjoon.

 

“ Know what I want? ”

 

“ What do you want, Namjoon?” 

 

“ I want you to prep yourself for me, and then -” he kisses Seokjin , “then I want you to fuck yourself on my cock,” he instructs and Seokjin takes in a stuttery breath. 

 

Why the fuck does he talk like a pornstar?

 

I don’t know but its really fucking hot. 

 

You’re right . 

 

Namjoon pulls himself back and pulls the lube out of his pocket ( when did he have time to even bring it? ). He hands Seokjin the bottle and moves to sit at the headboard. 

 

Seokjin crawls to the foot of the bed - 

 

I’ve never done this before!? What the fuck should I do??

 

How the fuck should I know? I am literally you.

 

You’re not helping!

 

Start with the panties! That should be fine?

 

Seokjin pulls off the underwear, it’s a mission because it gets caught in the clips of the garter. He manages though and Namjoon sits patiently, hands on his stomach, watching him. The relief from the underwear is insane.

 

He opens his legs, pouring some of the honey lubricant over his fingers. 

 

Namjoon reaches over with his foot and pushes against Seokjin’s knees, spreading him further. 

 

Seokjin reaches down, restraining himself from just grabbing his dick, and spreads the lube over his hole. It’s still a little stretched, so he manages to slip in a finger with no issues. He works himself open, trying to slip in the second finger. 

 

“ Look at me ,”

 

“What?”

 

“ Look at me, baby,” And Seokjin frowns but keeps his eyes locked on Namjoon as he slips in the second finger. It’s not painful, so he fucks them deeper, trying to -

 

“ Fuck ,” he throws his head back as he brushes over his prostate. 

 

“ Eyes on me, Jin ,” Namjoon calls.

 

Seokjin looks over and Namjoon is palming himself through his slacks, “ No touching, Namjoonie ,” he tells him with gravel in his voice. Namjoon’s mouth drops open in protest and Seokjin just returns it with a cheeky smile.

 

He leans back further onto the bed, “ Fuck ,” he mutters, as the third finger slips in.

 

“ Shit, Jin - do you know how sinful you look right now? ” Seokjin keeps his eyes on Namjoon, letting out soft whimpers every so often his fingers sweep over his prostate. 

 

Namjoon groans and closes his eyes, knocking his head against the headboard. 

 

“ Eyes on me, Namjoon ,” he snaps and Namjoon’s eyes pop open in surprise. He scrubs a hand over his face but keeps his eyes fixed on Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin slips his fingers out his ass, and gets on his knees to crawl between Namjoon’s thighs. 

 

Taking off his shirt, Seokjin trails kisses down Namjoon’s torso. Pausing only to trace his fingers over the line work on his ribcage. 

 

I’ll ask later.

 

Seokjin unbuckles his belt, slipping down his trousers and underwear in one swipe. Namjoon’s cock is hard and wet when it springs up from the restriction. He hisses as the cold air hits his dick and Seokjin wraps his hand around the girth.

 

He lifts his eyes and finds Namjoon’s chest lifting erratically as he strokes him at an excruciating pace, “Like that?” Seokjin smiles. 

 

Namjoon nods, looking absolutely pained. 

 

Seokjin licks, swirling his tongue around the tip. Namjoon makes a slight noise at that, so Seokjin dips his head deeper, taking his cock deep into his mouth. 

 

He thinks he’s successful when Namjoon grabs his hair, moaning obscenities above him. 

 

“ Ah, fuck, you’re so - “ Seokjin doesn’t hear the end of the sentence because he swallows once around Namjoon, adjusting the rhythm. 

 

“ Fuck ,” he speaks above him. Seokjin feels his hand move from his hair to the back of the bralette, trying to reach further. Seokjin sucks harder, wetting Namjoon’s dick with spit -

 

Namjoon thrusts up, “ Fuck- Namjoon! ” He tries to yell around his dick - but it comes out so garbled that it hardly sounds like words. Namjoon groans deeply, 

“ What? ” He asks -

 

“ Jin ,” Namjoon moans, hands back to gripping his hair.

 

Does he like me talking with his dick in my mouth?

 

“ God ,” he hears, so he looks up. 

 

“What?” he looks up, with Namjoon’s cock in his mouth. 

 

Suddenly his head is being ripped away from Namjoon’s dick, and he’s being pulled into a rough kiss. Namjoon’s hands twist in his hair and Seokjin whimpers into his mouth when the blunt pain shoots straight to his cock. 

 

Namjoon’s hands skirt down, slipping to his rim and Seokjin breaks the kiss to shudder.

 

“ Ready for me? ” he asks - and Seokjin thinks he hears something shuffle outside of the bedroom door but he ignores it in favour of nodding. 

 

Namjoon slips a finger in, and Seokjin’s dick resurrects itself from inactivity when Namjoon starts talking.

 

“ You’re so wet for me, princess ,” Seokjin moans as he easily dips three whole fingers inside, “ fucking look so damn pretty ,” he kisses him, “ all dressed up just to bounce on my cock, ” Seokjin sobs into Namjoon’s shoulder as he pulls them out. 

 

“ Up ,” he instructs and Seokjin lifts himself slightly on his knees. Namjoon lines his cock up. Seokjin uses Namjoon’s shoulders to lower himself, his dick slowly stretching him out. 

 

And it hits him - The last time we had sex, we were so angry at each other .

 

It’s a bit easier than the first time, seeing as Seokjin is prepped and ready. He tries to relax and adjust to the sensation. 

 

He rolls his hips slowly, and Namjoon pulls him into a kiss. 

 

“ Goddamn, Jin ,” Namjoon moans, “ you feel so good, ” Seokjin lifts himself up slightly to readjust his position. Namjoon takes advantage of Seokjin’s position and rolls his hips up into him. Seokjin feels him deeper - and he grabs onto Namjoon’s shoulders and tries to hold himself together. The stockings are making his knees slip against the bed - “ Hey !”

 

Namjoon fucks up into Seokjin, trying to seat himself, “ Fuck - N -Namjoon!” he manages past the brutal thrusts of his hips.

 

Namjoon chuckles and relaxes, “Good?” 

 

Seokjin laughs softly, trying to catch his breath, “Yeah,” he breathes and tries to pick up the pace of his hips. He kisses Namjoon hard, feeling him move inside of him. 

 

They’re just breathing in each other’s mouths once Seokjin sets a wild pace. He smiles and throws his head backwards on a particular drop of his hips, “ Yes, fuck -” he hisses. 

 

Seokjin is fucking himself on Namjoon’s dick like he was born to do nothing else, moaning wantonly. 

“ Ah, fuck, princess -” Namjoon stutters, holding onto Seokjin’s hips, “ just like that ,” 

 

“ Namjoon! Fuck -” he cries, “ Fuck me, ” bouncing erratically now, legs growing strained from the effort, “ fuck me fuck me fuck me-, ” he sobs. He reaches down to jack himself. 

 

Namjoon immediately pulls his hands away, “You’re gonna come on my cock, princess, ” he tells him. Seokjin laughs hysterically, still trying to control the pace. 

 

“I can’t-”

 

“ Then you don’t come,”   Namjoon tells him and Seokjin might have come right then at the sound of his voice. 

 

“My legs, fuck- yes, my legs ,” he tries to get out because his thighs are burning .

 

Namjoon gets with the picture and wraps his arms around his waist and Seokjin is being rolled onto his back with Namjoon’s dick staying in place.

 

He doesn’t resume the brutal pace that Seokjin had set, instead, he pulls out til the tip and pushes back in slowly , kissing Seokjin. Seokjin feels the slow grinds wrack his entire body -

 

It’s so heady and Seokjin is fighting for his life trying not to reach down, “ Please, Dadd -” his eyes pop open and Namjoon stops moving. 

 

He’s staring down at Seokjin with wide eyes. 

 

Fuck fuck fuck -

 

“I’m sorry! Sorry -” he feels the shame overtake him, oh my god oh my god - he’s not even reacting. 

 

Seokjin tries to sit up and push Namjoon off but Namjoon pushes him back down on the pillows.

 

“Namjoon-” 

 

“Say it again,” 

 

“I said I’m sor- wait, what?” 

 

What the fuck? 

 

He wants you to call him daddy, idiot. 

 

Why? 

 

Why did you call him daddy? 

 

This is not about me! ? 

 

Namjoon thrusts once and Seokjin’s eyes stay wide -” Say it again ,”

 

“Namjoon - ah fuck ,” Namjoon thrusts in deeper, “ Namjoon - like that- what- ”

 

But it’s useless because Namjoon is pounding into him, leaving behind any stray embarrassment, grunting into his neck.

 

“ You’re so good for me, ” Namjoon tells him and Seokjin isn’t quite moaning - he’s screaming and his eyes are shut, trying to concentrate on the building fire in his belly. 

 

Namjoon leans in, “Look at me,” but Seokjin is lost. 

 

“ I said look at me ,” Namjoon stills his hips and sternly tells him, “ or I’m going to stop ,” Seokjin pries his eyes open. Namjoon already has his eyes on Seokjin, looking dark and absolutely wrecked. 

 

“Say it again ,” he’s hitting his prostate and Seokjin doesn’t know how to fucking breathe, but he’s moaning all the breath he has into the space between them. 

 

“ Let me come ,” he whines, trying to pull Namjoon in closer. It’s giving him the much needed friction, “Please, D-Daddy ,”

 

Namjoon groans low and his thrusts are erratic and Seokjin is moaning loudly. I’m so close, fuck fuck - 

 

“ Namjoon, fuck - please ,” he wails, “I can’t - I can’t-” 

 

“ Be a good boy for me, princess ,” and Seokjin briefly wonders how he’s able to string together a sentence, “Come for Daddy, ” and the stars must be aligned because Seokjin comes untouched for the first time in his life. He shuts his eyes and lets his orgasm wash over him, back arching all the way up to meet Namjoon. 

 

The other man holds him steady and continues his pace, and Seokjin clenches around Namjoon, feeling him stroke deep. He leaves his mouth slack with a silent moan.

 

Namjoon pushes to the hilt and he’s grunting into Seokjin’s neck, saying his name like a prayer, and Seokjin feels his come pulsing into him. 

 

He collapses onto Seokjin, and he can feel Namjoon’s heart beat in his own chest for a moment.

 

He runs his hand through Namjoon’s hair, kisses the exposed part of his head softly. Namjoon shuffles up at the movement and lifts himself above Seokjin. 

 

He just looks at Seokjin, and for a second, Seokjin looks back, hands stilling in his hair. 

 

“May I?” Namjoon asks and Seokjin wants to laugh at the absurdity, but instead, he nods. 

 

Namjoon sweeps him into a kiss, slowly fucking his cum deeper into Seokjin. He pants into the kiss, feeling himself glow from the inside out, he draws out Namjoon’s name, begging him to stop -

 

Continue?

 

He doesn’t actually know, but he does know that this kiss has him breathless.

 

Eventually, Namjoon lifts himself completely, pulling out of Seokjin. He freezes all of a sudden-

 

“Shit,” he’s looking down at Seokjin. 

 

“I’m so sorry- fuck, -” he looks panicked.

 

Seokjin frowns and lifts himself up on his elbows, “What? What’s wrong?” He looks down to his crotch and finds everything relatively in place save for the white streaks painting over his stomach. 

 

“Wha-” 

 

Oh .

 

He feels Namjoon’s come trickle down and out of him.

 

“I’m sorry, Jin - I promise I’m clean, I haven’t ever -” 

 

“Namjoon, calm down, it’s fine-”

 

“But I would never-” Namjoon’s eyes are wide, so Seokjin cuts him off before he can work himself into a panic. 

 

“Namjoon, look at me,” he struggles to lift his eyes from his dick which Seokjin wants to laugh at but he doesn’t, “Namjoonie, please look at me,” he sits up and grabs his face. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he says, eyes so very mournful. Seokjin kisses him. 

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, we both forgot, okay?” But Namjoon looks like he’s mentally in a wrestling ring with himself. 

 

“Namjoon, you’re clean right?” he runs his thumbs over his cheeks. Namjoon nods in his palms. 

 

“Good, cause so am I,” he says simply and kisses the younger man. 

 

“Did you enjoy that?” He tries to get Namjoon out of whatever headspace he’s falling into. 

 

He sees the fog clear out from Namjoon’s mind when he meets his eyes, “Yeah, I did but I forgot the -” 

 

“Aha- no ‘buts’,” 

 

“Did you enjoy it?” Seokjin frowns and laughs.

 

“If it wasn’t fucking obvious, yes, Namjoonie,” he kisses him, laughing all the while. 

 

“You sure?” 

 

Seokjin pulls back, “Mmm, I’m not sure - maybe you can show me again?” but the smile breaks out on his face and Namjoon rolls his eyes. 

 

“Don’t get up,” he tells Namjoon, “I’ve got wipes in my nightstand,” he kisses him once before leaning over to the nightstand. Namjoon’s weight shifts slightly and Seokjin is able to grab the pack of wet-wipes. 

 

After cleaning himself up, Namjoon runs out for some water. When he comes back he has a frown on his face, “Did you leave the TV on?” Seokjin is fighting for his life with the garter. Namjoon helps him out of the clips and straps. 

 

Seokjin drinks deeply from his glass before answering, “No?” Perhaps he forgot to put it off before they left.

 

Namjoon just shrugs and drinks more water, “I put it off,” he tells him. Seokjin runs to the closet for something to wear. He finds Namjoon’s sleep shirt and chucks it on, trying to find a pair of boxers.

 

“Want some pants?” 

 

Namjoon pops his head in, “Please - oh ,” 

 

“What?” He looks down, “Oh, shit. Sorry, I just didn’t wann-” Namjoon steps into his space and picks up the hem of the shirt. 

 

“You’re wearing my shirt?” he asks. Seokjin frowns, because for crying out loud - didn’t they just -

 

“I’ve worn them before,” he frowns, “but I can take it off if it’s a problem?” Namjoon shakes his head, looking at Seokjin like he wants to devour him whole.

 

Oh.  

 

“Don’t do that.”

 

Namjoon doesn’t end up putting any pants on. 

 

Notes:

How was it?

Chapter 16: In Which An Agreement Is Made

Notes:

sorry this is late - I've been trying to trying to figure out how to fake my death so i can abolish capitalism as a ghost

imma buy a piece

how yall doing?

Hope yall are good - last new moon was insane, my lights are behaving weird (think poltergeist but with brown people and like, the ghost isnt mean its just my spirit team vibing )

BTW: don't buy moldevite unless you are ready to have your shit pushed in

Seokjin wakes to clattering in his apartment and a deep ache in his ass. Yoon-suh must be awake.

 

When did she get home?

 

Seokjin unravels himself from the mess of Namjoon’s limbs and stretches out all the cricks in his body. 

 

He walks past the guest room hearing her tell-tale snoring, louder and more inconsistent than usual. They did have a lot to drink last night.

 

He notices the TV is on in the dark lounge. He frowns and walks towards it. 

 

He’s trying to locate the remote under the TV unit but it's so goddamn dark. 

 

“Hyung! Move!” Seokjin screams at the unidentified voice. He spins around and finds a mound of blankets with Jeongguk’s face. It looks sinister with the TV lights flickering over his form. 

 

“ Christ !? What are you doing here!?” 

 

The blankets shift and Seokjin notices a bowl in his lap, “I’m eating cereal and trying to finish Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but you and Namjoon-hyung keep putting the TV off!” he yells. 

 

“What’s going on here?” Yoon-suh pulls their attention away.

 

“How are you even eating the cereal?” Seokjin flicks the light on. His hands aren’t even out of the blankets but he’s got a spoon gripped in the blanket and a sour expression.

 

“Who wants coffee?” Yoon-suh shouts from the kitchen. 

 

Four different voices answer her from the hallway - and none of them are Namjoon’s. 

 

Seokjin is standing, trying process whatever the fuck is going on, when Hoseok comes out with one eye barely opened and hair bouncing in spikes all over his head.

Yoongi follows, looking like his body is moving subconsciously because it heard ‘coffee’. Jimin is hanging over Taehyung, wearing glasses.

 

Taehyung grins like everything makes sense. 

 

Seokjin marches to the dining room table where everyone is half-dead. 

 

“Where did you all sleep!?” 

 

“With Yoon-suh ma,” Hoseok answers. 

 

Jimin lifts his head from the table, “Hyung, please stop screaming,” he whimpers pathetically. 

 

“How did you all fit?” 

 

“Nicely, Jin,” Yoongi groans. 

 

Jeongguk joins the table when Yoon-suh comes out of the kitchen with a pot of boiling coffee, smelling like ambrosia. Yoongi grabs the first mug she pours, gulping it down like water in a desert. 

 

Seokjin frowns, trying to understand the situation with a cup of coffee warming his hands. 

 

“What so loud y’all was renovating the castle all last night?” Yoon-suh speaks up first. Hoseok snorts and Seokjin sees Jimin’s shoulders move in what he assumes is a laugh. 

 

“What? No one was renovating? A castle?” Seokjin gets out. 

 

Yoon-suh sips her coffee, “You sure? I heard there was one princess here last night,” her mouth lifts on the side, Taehyung chokes on his cup of tea and the rest of the table laughs. 

 

“What princess -” Seokjin feels the blood flood to his face when Namjoon groggily comes out of the hallway. 

 

He wants to dissolve into the ground. 

 

“Mornin’,” he greets everyone, everyone moans in reply. He leans down to kiss Seokjin on the head, still half-asleep.  

 

Hoseok speaks up once Namjoon sits beside Seokjin, “Hyung, your father came last night?” Yoongi spits his coffee out onto the table and Jimin giggles. 

 

Jeongguk is laughing like fucking Elmo from Sesame Street.

 

Seokjin frowns, and shakes his head, “He sent his wishes.”

 

“Oh, so who you was calling 'daddy'?” Yoon-suh manages to get out because she is finished , laughing so hard that she has to put her cup down. 

 

“Yah!” he yells in protest but it's a lost cause because the table is a riot. 

 

“You really Wonka’d his Willy, hyung,” Jeongguk shouts and Taehyung’s whole body locks up with laughter.

 

Seokjin is wondering how bad jail might be when he sees Namjoon laughing beside him. 

 

“I think he enjoyed that whipped cream,” Jimin tacks on. Seokjin sends him a dirty look in vain. 

 

Everyone is laughing and Seokjin’s whole face is on fire, “Are y’all done?” 

 

But Hoseok says, “Wonka Bar” and Yoon-suh asks him how “the family jewels” were so it takes a good five minutes to get everyone settled and Seokjin wants to be mad.

 

“Don’t you have to open the studio?” Namjoon asks Hoseok out of the blue. 

 

Hoseok shakes his head, “Unless someone wants me to vomit on them.” 

 

“How the fuck do you expect anyone to function with no sleep,” Yoongi groans.

 

Jimin agrees, “I was piss drunk and you both still kept me up.”

 

“What time did y’all get home?” Seokjin asks. 

 

“We came in like an hour after you left,” and Seokjin’s whole stomach wants to upheave itself. 

 

“So you heard -”

 

“ Everything ,” Yoongi cries, rubbing his hand over his face, looking like a haunted veteran.

 

“Wait-“ 

 

“Namjoon-hyung, I didn’t know you had a tattoo,” Jeongguk says. 

 

Seokjin pauses, “What?” He looks at Namjoon but the other man looks just as confused.

 

“When he came to put the TV off, I saw,” 

 

Namjoon balks, “Wh- Why didn’t you say anything?” 

 

Jeongguk shrugs, “You were naked and I didn’t want to make it weird, with like, your wiener out, ‘cause it was just like - there,”  

 

Seokjin is too stunned to even laugh when Jimin speaks up, “Ooh, ‘Guk, how big was it!?” 

 

“YAH!” Namjoon yells. 

 

“Well, if he’s anything like his father, he is abundant-“ 

 

“Ma!”

 

Jeongguk pulls his lips in and nods.

 

“Ooh, Namjoon-ah! Let me see-“ Taehyung calls.

 

“Hey!” Seokjin tries to help. 

 

“Okay, can we at least see the tattoo?” 

 

Namjoon sighs at the table laughing at them. 

 

“I need to throw up for three business days,” Yoongi adds.

 

Jimin laughs, looking a little more human, “It’s love, hyung! And we should be grateful that Jin-hyung is getting some.” 

 

“I don’t want to hear about anyone getting some.”

 

“Yah, let me be grateful my son is getting some,” the table turns to Yoon-suh and bursts out laughing. Namjoon just snickers and lays his head on his shoulder.

 

“And I’m glad you’re exploring new avenues of your sexuality, Jin-Hyung,” Jimin says like a proud mom.

 

Yoongi looks at them with a smile like he knows something. Seokjin doesn’t know what he knows but he better stop knowing it before Seokjin smacks him. 

 

Seokjin rests his head on Namjoon’s head and checks his phone. 

 

He finds a text from his cousin. 

 

The same fucking one that got him into this mess. He should poke her in the eye with her stupid wedding invitation.

 

From Jiwoo at 7:12 : wanna meet up for coffee later??

 

Seokjin frowns. 

 

To Jiwoo at 10:14: Hey, sure? Everything ok?

 

From Jiwoo at 10:15: I need a break

From Jiwoo at 10:15: and a drink 

 

Seokjin huffs a laugh. He wasn’t close to Jiwoo, but if she’s asking him for help, it must be really straining on her. 

 

“Who’s that?” Namjoon asks, trying to squint through his glasses. 

 

Seokjin pulls his phone away, “My other boyfriend,” he yelps when Namjoon pinches his arm, chuckling and rubbing the sore spot. 

 

“My cousin wants to get some coffee today,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

“I need coffee!” Jimin yells. 

 

“We’re literally drinking coffee right now,” Yoongi shoots back.

 

“No one is gonna do me like Starbies,” Jimin purses his lips.

 

“I’m sure she won’t mind,” He tells the table, leaving the invitation open. 

 

“I need to shower,” Hoseok sniffs himself and pulls a face. 

 

“Wait - no, this is the longest I’ve been in Jin-hyung’s apartment, lemme relish ,” Taehyung whines. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “You’ve been here before.” 

 

“Yeah but like, we never do stuff here,” Taehyung replies. 

 

He looks at Namjoon, who just shrugs. 

 

“We literally have to drag you out the door every time we want to do something,” Jeongguk adds. 

 

Seokjin looks at Hoseok for some help, and he literally just sips his coffee while maintaining eye-contact. 

 

Traitor.

 

“Okay, whatever,” Seokjin caves, “Y’all wanna shower here? I’ve got clothes.” 

 

“I got extra underwear for y’all too,” Yoon-suh blurts and Yoongi groans. 

 

“I got nice pink ones for you, Yoongi-ah,” she points at him and the table laughs at the blush sweeping his face. 

 

It’s a slow start to the day, and they’re all trying not to move too fast in case someone dies.

 

Taehyung is in a towel, sitting on Seokjin’s bed while Jimin showers.

Jeongguk drove home to grab some extra clothes for his boyfriends since he was feeling better than the rest of them. 

 

Seokjin is trying to find dark enough clothes for Yoongi, while Hoseok is putting together an entire ensemble from his closet when Taehyung walks into the closet. 

 

“What’s this?” Taehyung asks, and Seokjin turns to find him holding up the buttplug that he’d dropped last night. 

 

Yoongi sighs before he could answer, “Yah, we all saw it - couldn’t you have ignored it?”

 

Seokjin leaps forward to grab it from his hand, which is relatively easy since he’s laughing at Seokjin. He runs out to throw it in his nightstand and finds Namjoon sitting at the edge of the bed.

 

He stuffs it into the drawer. 

 

He turns and Namjoon pulls him to stand between his legs, he looks up and Seokjin notes how cute he looks and tousles his hair.

 

How could anyone look so innocent after fucking him like that ?

 

“How are you?” he asks Seokjin, wrapping his arms around his waist. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Good,” he answers, “How are you?” he returns. 

 

Namjoon turns to press his face into Seokjin’s stomach and says something that’s too muffled for him to interpret. 

 

“What?” he laughs. 

 

Namjoon lifts his head, “M’tired, but I’m good,” 

 

“Did you enjoy your day?” 

 

Namjoon’s face breaks out in a massive grin and he nods, “A lot,” he tightens his grip. 

 

Seokjin is about to lean down and peck his nose when Taehyung and Hoseok run from the closet and out of the bedroom yelling obscenities. 

 

Taehyung runs out, but Hoseok stops in his tracks to look at Namjoon and Seokjin.

 

“What’s his problem?” Seokjin turns to find Yoongi standing at the entrance to the closet. 

 

“What?” 

 

Yoongi has a brow lifted and Hoseok is smiling.

 

It’s Yoongi who speaks up first, “So,”

 

“ Yoongi ,” Seokjin groans.

 

“I was just gonna ask where the bug spray is,” Yoongi says innocently. 

 

“But since we’re already on the topic of questions,” Hoseok butts in, “There wasn’t anyone watching,” Seokjin takes a step back from Namjoon, “ so, what’s all this then ?” Hoseok asks in a faux-British accent while clasping his hands together. 

 

Seokjin busies himself with tidying up the bed, “Go shower,” he dismisses the question. 

 

Yoongi walks to Hoseok and claps him on the shoulder, “They’ll figure it out,” he tells him. 

 

They both exit the room while Seokjin has his back turned. 

 

He wants to laugh because he remembers saying the same thing about them last night. 

 

Also, there’s a major difference. 

 

Seokjin and Namjoon aren’t in love with each other. 

 

Right?

 

I still haven’t recovered from last night, leave me in peace .

 

Understandably. 

 

How the fuck are we walking right now? 

 

By the will of Jesus Christ himself. 

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon calls. 

 

Seokjin turns to the younger man on the bed, “Namjoonie?” 

 

He coughs, “We should probably talk.” 

 

Seokjin looks away, “About?” 

 

He hears the other man sigh, “ Jin. ” 

 

Seokjin looks back, “Can we do this later? When we’re alone? I’m not deflecting or whatever.” 

 

Namjoon nods with a small smile. 

 

Seokjin wants to -

 

No, we’re not going anywhere near any thoughts today . 

 

Pussy.

 

Go back to hibernation . 

 

Getting ready is easy and Jeongguk brings up Namjoon’s gifts from yesterday. Seokjin notices how he organises everything and leaves the book on his side of the bed.

 

Seokjin shoots Jiwoo a message, telling her that they’re leaving. 

 

They end up taking two cars because no one wants a repeat of yesterday. Hoseok, Namjoon and Taehyung squash themselves into Seokjin’s car because Yoon-suh insisted on riding with Jimin. 

 

He doesn’t know how there are four people in a five-seater and they got stuck with four people in a car barely suited to hold two people. 

 

He expected his cousin to arrive with the excitement of her wedding surrounding her like a bubble, but when she joins the eight of them in the booth - she looks close to dead. 

 

Seokjin shoots up to greet her, “Jiwoo!” She hugs him back tightly.

 

“How are you?” she smiles up at him. But before he could answer, she looks behind him and finds the rest of his family looking curiously at her. 

 

Introductions go smoothly, and thankfully, Jimin welcomes her with a bright smile, alongside Hoseok and Taehyung. 

 

When her drink arrives, there's a lull in the conversation, so Jiwoo takes the opportunity to zero in on Seokjin, “You know, I remember you two never let me play in that treehouse,” she looks between Namjoon and Seokjin. 

 

Namjoon huffs a laugh and bumps his shoulder into Seokjin’s, “Well,” he shrugs. 

 

“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone, Jinnie,” she says, crossing her legs. 

 

Seokjin gulps and sips his drink but it’s Yoon-suh who speaks next, “Right! I didn’t even know until Joon called me last month.” 

 

Seokjin wants to wake up and walk out of the room when Hoseok talks, “Jin-hyung is so superstitious,” he giggles. 

 

“Mmm, we had to find out about Namjoon through a keyhole,” Yoongi surprisingly tacks on. 

 

“Nosey,” Seokjin glares, but he smiles at his friends gratefully. 

 

“My mother had to tell us,” Jimin pouts and leans onto Jiwoo’s shoulder. 

 

“Hey, listen - we had to work a little on ourselves before we let everyone in,” Namjoon tells everyone. 

 

The conversation strays further from them and so does the tension in Seokjin.

Jimin is interrogating Jiwoo about the wedding arrangements, Taehyung is asking about the outfits and Yoon-suh is adding in her little advice on the floral arrangements and colour coordination. 

 

It’s relaxing, and Seokjin melts further into Namjoon’s side. 

 

Yoongi is even participating in the conversation, asking about the music.

Jiwoo wants a live band to perform at the wedding, but it isn’t functional for people who like to dance once the liquor starts flowing within the reception. 

 

“You could always hire them until the food’s been served,” Hoseok suggests. 

 

“Where am I even going to find a DJ that I can trust a month before the wedding?” 

 

The entire booth turns to Yoongi who frowns, “I mean, I could,” he shrugs. 

 

“Y’all want to come?” Jiwoo looks around. 

 

“Haven’t you already submitted the headcount?” Jeongguk frowns.

 

She shrugs and rolls her eyes, “It’s literally a Korean wedding, I’m sure they can cater for six more people,” she tells them. 

 

“We’ll be staying at the lodge a few days before the ceremony,” she tells them, “Let me know if you want-”

 

“Yes!” Jimin tells her before she could say anything more.

 

Seokjin hadn’t even registered that he and Namjoon would be gone for that long weekend. 

 

“The hospital can survive without me,” Yoon-suh flips her hand. 

 

“Then it’s done!” Jiwoo merrily. Seokjin marvels at her for a moment; still the same little girl who would share her candy with everyone at the drop of a hat. 

 

“You’re not obligated to do anything, but if you do know a DJ that could help us out, please let me know?” She directs at Yoongi. 

 

“I know a few people, I’ll talk to them,” he replies. Jiwoo sends him a big grin. 

 

It’s well past two in the afternoon when they all decide a nap is in order. Jiwoo exchanges numbers with everyone, including Yoon-suh. 

 

It’s quiet when they get back to the apartment. Yoongi and Hoseok caught a ride with the throuple. Yoon-suh passes out almost immediately and Seokjin closes the door, leaving a glass of water beside her bed with a couple of aspirins. 

 

As the door clicks closed, he takes a deep breath.

 

Namjoon is probably in his room. 

 

Waiting to talk. 

 

He walks into his room, “How is she?” Namjoon asks from where he’s sitting against the headboard. 

 

“Good, left her some aspirin and water,” 

 

Namjoon smiles softly, “Thanks.” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, he loves Yoon-suh too. 

 

Seokjin climbs on the bed beside him, “So,” better to get it over with, “you wanted to talk,” he looks at the TV screen. It’s got a standby screen of bright white gardenias - he switches it off.

 

Namjoon puts down his phone beside him, “Yeah,” he breathes. 

 

“Okay, so,” Namjoon starts. 

 

“So,” Seokjin swallows. 

 

“We’ve slept together a few times now,” Namjoon says. Seokjin brings his knees up to his chest, holding them loosely. 

 

“We have,” he sees Namjoon’s frown deepen when he answers back.

 

Namjoon is probably going to tell him they need to stop so he waits for-

 

“Do you think we should set some rules?”

 

Seokjin feels his brain skid to a stop, “What?” 

 

“Okay, wait, lemme rephrase,” Namjoon clears the air with his hands, “do you want to continue whatever we’re doing?” 

 

Seokjin cringes, it’s weird. 

 

He looks at Namjoon and nods once, “Do you?” 

 

Namjoon swallows and Seokjin watches him fiddle with his fingers on his lap. 

 

“No?” Seokjin feels his stomach swoop down -

 

“No no no, I do, I just-” 

 

“Oh, why are you acting w-” 

 

“I’m trying to -” he stops mid-sentence and looks at Seokjin. He scans over his face and Seokjin watches a decision being made in his head. 

 

“Nevermind,” Namjoon starts. 

 

“You can’t just-” 

 

Namjoon sighs, “It wasn’t important,” Seokjin frowns.

 

“ Namjoon ,”

 

“Okay, so since we’re both on board, shouldn’t we have, like, some rules?” 

 

Seokjin groans, “It’s sex, Namjoon, not the SATs,” he rolls his eyes.

 

“I’m being serious.” 

 

Seokjin throws him a bone, “What kind of rules are we talking about?” 

 

“Well, for starters, is this exclusive?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin pulls a thread from his jeans, “Well, from my side, yes,” he sees Namjoon nod, “But if you wanna, y’know? Sleep with other people, you can,” he says, pulling harder on the thread, “just tell me.” he adds on quietly and looks up. 

 

Namjoon brows furrow together, “What?”

 

“If you want to sleep with other people, could you like… tell me? Cause, you know,” he shrugs and wraps his finger in the thread. 

 

“I-” Namjoon starts, “I don’t think I’d be looking for anything while we’re in this…” he trails off. 

 

“Fake relationship?” Seokjin looks up. 

 

Namjoon clenches his jaw, so Seokjin continues, “But if you want to, I mean the offer is on the table,” he shrugs.

It feels like a punch to the gut to even suggest it but Seokjin doesn’t want to get overly involved. 

 

They’re friends. 

 

You suckin’ Yoongi’s dick too? 

 

I thought you were off for the day.

 

The sound of stupid woke me up . 

 

“Next, we should probably talk about,” Namjoon swallows, “feelings and stuff?” Seokjin whips his head to look at him. 

 

“What feelings?” he asks, heart rate working up. His ears start to heat. 

 

What is he talking about? 

 

I really wonder... I really fucking wonder, Kim Seokjin. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes widen, “No, I just meant,” he sighs, “transparency,” Seokjin nods even though he doesn’t quite understand. 

 

“We’re friends before all else,” Namjoon says, “So, if anything changes with this arrangement, I think we should be honest with each other,” Seokjin’s mouth opens in understanding. 

 

“We’re friends?” He asks, trying to change the fucking weird atmosphere.

 

It sounds like Namjoon is skirting around saying something and his ears are on fire. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Well - I don’t wanna ass-” and then he catches sight of the slow smile spreading on Seokjin’s face, “You’re an ass,” he shoves Seokjin. 

 

“What about my ass?” Seokjin teases. Namjoon meets him with a dull look. 

 

Then he sighs deeply, “Are you sure?” 

 

“About what?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“About not wanting to look for other prospects,” he waves his hand in front of him.

 

Namjoon laughs and Seokjin frowns. Namjoon leans down to where his head is, “Prospects? What? Am I Elizabeth Bennet?” He smiles. 

 

Seokjin scrunches his nose, “Nah, you’re like Mr. Wickham,” he leans in to kiss Namjoon but the other man pulls away. 

“Take it back.” 

 

“Make me,” he says with a big grin. 

 

Namjoon rolls him onto his back and leans over him, balancing himself on his forearms, “Take it back,” 

 

Seokjin laughs and shakes his head, giddiness taking over. 

 

“No?” Namjoon tilts his head, kind of like a bird. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “No.” 

 

“May I?” he asks, leaning down into Seokjin’s space. 

 

“Yeah,” he shrugs and scrunches his nose. 

 

Namjoon kisses him, it’s slow and lazy with none of the rabid energy from yesterday. Seokjin runs his hands up his chest, pulling him flush against his own body. Namjoon kisses him gently, swallowing the soft sighs Seokjin breathes when his hands skirt down his torso and under his shirt. 

 

And when Namjoon takes Seokjin apart with his mouth, he tries to keep it quiet. 

—--------

 

The week is generally calm and quiet.

 

Well, as quiet as can be with Yoon-suh.

 

Now that there’s an agreement that it’s going to be exclusive until this is all over, they’re taking every opportunity to be alone with one another. 

 

Thursday morning has Namjoon walking in on a screaming match between Yoon-suh, Seokjin and an ungodly spider in the kitchen. 

 

“Take it out, Ajumma!” 

 

Yoon-suh has a spatula in her hand, “This is your house! It’s your spider,”

 

“ My spider?! It’s not like I invited him in!?”

 

“Use your hunter-gatherer instincts!” 

 

“What are you even saying?!” 

 

“Kill it!” 

 

“ You kill it!” 

 

“I’m old and I am a woman, I’m so weak, Seokjin - how can you do this to your mother-in-law?” 

 

Seokjin folds his arms, “You were twerking on Monday, you can do this.” 

 

“What? I must twerk the spider out of the kitchen?” 

 

Namjoon walks in at that exact moment, probably questioning every moment that has led to this.

 

He has no shirt on and his eyes are narrow behind his glasses. 

 

“What’s going on?” he demands, probably irritated that he was woken up. 

 

“Jinnie doesn’t want to take his spider out, Joon,” she points the spatula at him. 

 

Seokjin baulks, “I didn’t invite the spider in - Namjoon, tell Ajumma I didn’t invite the spider in,” 

 

“Mom, Jin didn’t bring the spider in -”

 

“I know why you saying all that, you just don’t want consequences tonight.”

 

Namjoon sighs, “There aren’t any con-”

 

“This is how it starts, y’all are gonna throw me away the minute y’all get married -” 

 

“What!?” 

 

“Then I’m gonna have to fight for my life in the nursing home-”

 

“ Ajumma ,” 

 

“And they gonna feed me off-food and all, and then I’m gonna have to sneak in fresh food in my prison wallet-”

 

“Ma,”

 

“What’s a prison-wallet?” 

 

“ You should know all about that!”

 

“Okay, okay, no one’s going to the nursing home or using prison wallets,” Namjoon raises his hands, “Now, Where's the spider?”

 

“Check my prison wallet, Namjoon,” Yoon-suh snaps, “so big thing on the wall, like one bat you are,” she points to the wall. Namjoon laughs and Seokjin is still trying to figure out what a prison-wallet is.

 

Namjoon frowns and steps closer. 

 

He has a dull look on his face when he turns to look at the two of them, “Really?” 

 

Yoon-suh grabs Seokjin’s arm, “Ayo - be careful, father god.”

 

Seokjin holds her hand, and flinches when Namjoon reaches out to the spider and picks it up -

 

“ Namjoon !” 

 

He turns around and holds it up, “It’s fluff,” they both take a step back.

 

Yoon-suh detaches from Seokjin and steps forward to look at it, “Jin is such a scaredy cat for nothing.”

 

“ Me ?”

 

“Ya, you was so frightened, shame,” 

 

“You were going on about a nursing home-“ 

 

“I know y’all won’t do that to me,” she pats his face, Namjoon frowns behind her. 

 

“Then why was that so detailed?“ 

 

“This new telenovela-“ 

 

“ Ma , I told you to stop with those,” she clicks her tongue and walks out, leaving the two men standing in the kitchen with a small ball of fluff. 

 

Seokjin goes back to the counter where he was cutting onions, when he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Morning,” he feels himself being pressed into the counter. 

 

“Mornin’, baby,” Namjoon breathes into his neck. He doesn’t notice the way Seokjin’s hand stammer while chopping the onions, given that he kisses his shoulder and walks away. 

 

Baby? 

 

Is he getting confused? 

 

You keep sucking his dick - of course he’s confused.

 

Maybe he’s just horny? 

 

He calls you ‘baby’ all the time.

 

Yeah, when he’s fucking me. 

 

Mmm. 

 

Not helping!?

 

Maybe we should stop- 

 

You’re telling me that you- me- we’re going to put an end to some of the best sex you’ve ever had?

 

No, but what about transparency?

 

Okay, if you wanna go there, tell him that you get butterflies every time he smiles at you- 

 

I do not get butterflies.

 

Yeah, and I’m the Holy Spirit. 

 

“Jinnie, you done?” Yoon-suh calls. 

 

Seokjin pasted a smile on his face and turns around, “yeah.” 

 

“Ajumma?” 

 

“Ya, baby?” 

 

“What’s a prison-wallet?”

Notes:

if you have questions about the prison wallet pls consult deadpool 2 goh blee

Also, I am literally using how my mom and my aunt's speak for Yoon-suh's character (why am i lying i speak like that lmao) so, if the grammar is off - please go look up colonialism thank u

Chapter 17: In Which Seokjin Can't Handle Himself

Notes:

Sorry for the (really) late update. I was trying not to die because my soul decided we needed ANOTHER DNOTS as if the last 300 weren't enough
So, I've been trying not to die and be grateful and shit -
How about yall?
How yall doing?

Yooh-suh goes home on Saturday, just to recoup for the week ahead. 

 

Namjoon gets a call about a business trip on Saturday evening, from Seokjin’s father. 

 

He’ll leave on Tuesday morning and be back on Friday evening. Seokjin doesn’t know how to feel about it. He knows it felt like a piece of lead fell in his stomach when Namjoon told him. 

 

But why would he be upset? 

 

Seokjin likes being alone. 

 

He has been alone. 

 

Which one is it? 

 

“You, I can -“ he pauses to gather his thoughts, “I can drop you off in the morning, if you want?” He offers awkwardly. The airport isn’t too far.

 

They’re sitting at the dining room table, picking at some cake Seokjin was craving. 

 

Namjoon looks up with a smile, “That’d be great,” he nods. 

 

They’re alone tonight, so Seokjin made Namjoon tea while he prepared a cup of coffee for himself. Namjoon got them hooked on this new Marvel series. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t think he’s been this invested in the lives of superheroes (or villains) since he was a teenager. 

 

“You gonna miss me?” Namjoon speaks out of the blue. 

 

Seokjin snorts, “Nah,” 

 

Namjoon pushes his foot into his thigh, “Don’t be mean,” Seokjin sticks out his tongue. 

 

“What are you gonna do while I’m gone?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “I’m gonna throw a party and invite everyone over,” he says. 

 

Namjoon nods sagely, “The same people who you barely invite home?” 

 

Seokjin presses his lips together. 

 

“I like my space,” he mutters, looking at the screen. Namjoon doesn’t mention how they’ve literally been sharing the space with no problem. Seokjin doesn’t think about how natural it felt. 

 

How come he hasn’t blown up from over-stimulation? 

 

Maybe because Namjoon respects your space?  

 

Mmm.

 

“I like your space too,” Namjoon grins. 

 

Seokjin waggles his brows, “I know you do,” Namjoon laughs and puts his cup on the table.  

 

He hums as he crawls across the couch to Seokjin with a small smile. 

 

“You really gonna throw a party without me?” he halts over Seokjin’s body. 

 

He grins and nods, “Can I come?” Namjoon asks. 

 

“No, you’re gonna be in Texas,” 

 

Namjoon tilts his head, “I can wear my Stetson?” 

 

Seokjin frowns and Namjoon continues, “It’d look great with my shoulder to hip ratio -” he cuts him off with a shove to the chest. 

 

Namjoon is still grinning down at him, “That’s why you’re not invited,” he watches his lips turn into a pout. 

 

“May I?” Namjoon leans in a little. 

 

“You may,” Seokjin smiles as Namjoon leans down to sweep him into a soft kiss. 

 

—---

 

Seokjin comes home on Tuesday evening and the house buzzes with silence. Work was a drag and he didn’t eat any breakfast. 

 

With the opportunity of silence, he pulls up the digital script on his laptop, going over the scenes and lines. He’s reading a line of dialogue over, for the ninth time, when his phone rings dramatically. 

 

“Hello?” he answers without checking the caller. 

 

“Hyung?” 

 

“How was your flight?” He shuts his laptop. 

 

“It was good, sorry I didn’t text you earlier,” 

 

“Busy?” 

 

He hears a sigh, “Yeah,” 

 

“See any cowboys?” 

 

A snort, “Mmm, straight outta your fantasies,” 

 

“I told you I don-”

 

“We’re visiting a brewery on Thursday,” Namjoon cuts him off. 

 

“I thought you went over for the set?” 

 

“Yeah, but one of the actors has a brewery in Austin and he invited us,” 

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yeah, and your dad keeps calling me ‘son’,” 

 

Seokjin laughs, “At least he’s accepting it,” 

 

“You know he wouldn’t even look me in the eye after that day in your office,” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What day?” 

 

“We were going out to meet Jimin and them,” Seokjin still isn’t sure. 

 

“You were crawling out from under your desk,” and Seokjin’s mouth pops open in realisation. 

 

“It’s not like we were doing anything,” he laughs. 

 

Namjoon hums, “ You can tell your dad that,” 

 

“Hell no,” 

 

A snort and then, “What are you doin’?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin picks at the edge of his laptop, “I was just going over the script,” he swallows, “you?” 

 

“Oh? You start filming next April, right?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “You remember?” 

 

“I listen, hyung ,”

 

“Mmmm,” 

 

“Tell me about you character,” 

 

“Well, he’s not a lead,” 

 

“So?” 

 

“I’m still excited though, cliché best friend,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon laughs, “You? Cliché?” 

 

“What's that supposed to mean?” 

 

He can see the other man shrug, “You’re a weirdo, Hyung,” 

 

“Of course I’m weird, I’m friends with you, aren’t I?” Namjoon snickers over the line. 

 

“What are you up to?” 

 

“I was supposed to be at a dinner,” 

 

“Why aren’t you at the dinner, then?” 

 

“I- I didn’t text you, so I thought I’d call,” Namjoon stutters. 

 

“Oh,”

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“Go eat, you can call me tomorrow,” 

 

“I’m tired ,” Namjoon drags out. 

 

Seokjin ends up convincing a grown man to go eat dinner. He does it with a smile on his face. 

 

—-----

 

On Wednesday, Yoongi calls Seokjin to help him with some shopping. It’s late in the afternoon and work at the office has been lax since his father is out of the state. He decides that he’s done and walks out of the office early, texting Yoongi where to meet.

Seokjin ends up waiting at a small sushi bar at the mall, sipping on some flavoured water. He watches the people pass by outside, holding hands, running after toddlers, older teenagers with bags on their backs moving in groups. 

 

Yoongi throws himself into the chair and grabs his water. 

 

“Hi?” 

 

Yoongi finishes gulping down the water, “I ripped my favourite jeans,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

“You have other pants, don’t you?” 

 

“It’s not the same,” Yoongi mutters and signals the waiter over. 

 

They order a platter to split among them. 

 

“How’s the girls?” 

 

Yoongi’s expression lightens up some, “Good,” he smiles, looking away, “Biggie keeps trying to climb the curtains,” he pulls out his phone. 

 

He plays Seokjin a video of Biggie absolutely eating the wooden floors as she falls from the curtains, “She’s growing,” he comments.

 

Yoongi hums, “How’re you?” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “How are you ? Hobes said-” but Yoongi’s eyes widen at the mention of their friend. 

 

“I’m fine, good,” he nods, “just busy,” he shrugs. 

 

Seokjin is curious though, so he tries again once the food comes, “Hobes said y’all spoke,” Yoongi’s mouth is stuffed with sashimi. 

 

“We always speak,” Yoongi manages once he swallows his food. Seokjin narrows his eyes. 

 

“What do you mean you’re not ready?” 

 

Yoongi put down his chopsticks and drinks deeply, “That I’m not ready.” 

 

“Yoongi,”

 

“Can - can we not do this? Not here,” he looks at Seokjin earnestly. 

 

Seokjin swallows his curiosity and switches the conversation to the kittens. They talk over their late lunch, giggling and going into unnecessary depth about the symbolism behind Into The Spider-Verse .

 

They’re in the middle of a department store, debating the different blacks when a baby’s wail interrupts their very important conversation. 

 

“Black is black.”

 

“This black is different ,” Seokjin huffs and picks up a random tag. 

 

$9,99 for stupid shirt. 

 

You hate shopping, why’d you agree to this? 

 

He pulls out the sleeve to look at the print and decides to find a large. It’s got little astronauts printed all over the shirt. 

 

“Changing your wardrobe?” Yoongi asks behind him. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “No,” he finds a large, “Namjoon might like it,” he mutters. 

 

Yoongi raises a brow but doesn’t comment. 

 

Yoongi ends up buying three pairs of black jeans that all look the same, in Seokjin’s opinion. Yoongi insists they’re different and Seokjin pays for the shirt. 

 

“You wanna go to Cuba?” Yoongi asks out of the blue. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Sure?” 

 

Yoongi nods, “I wanna take a trip,” 

 

“When?” But the other man just shrugs. 

 

“Why?”

 

Yoongi walks close to Seokjin to avoid touching people, “Just want to go, I think it’d be fun,” he tells him. 

 

“And,” he turns with a grin, “they have nice cigars,” Seokjin pulls a face. 

 

“Your lungs are fucked,” Seokjin remarks but is met with Yoongi sticking out his tongue. 

 

They’re walking to the car when they pass a jeweller and Seokjin stops in front of the glistening display. 

 

“What kind of ring do you think Namjoonie would like?” he asks out loud.

 

“ Excuse me?”

 

Seokjin clears his throat, “I mean for the fake wedding and stuff,” he shrugs. 

 

"Heh-" Yoongi purses his lips, “Jin-”

 

“You know what, forget it, we’ll probably get whatever,” Seokjin marches off.

 

He hears Yoongi yell after him but Seokjin’s ears are burning.

 

“What the fuck?” Yoongi reaches him, almost wheezing. He places a hand on his shoulder to steady himself. 

 

“What?” Yoongi pulls his face at him.

 

Matching his pace, “Tae invited us for dinner tonight,” he says and Seokjin is grateful he doesn’t mention anything related to Namjoon. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Did you check your messages?” 

 

Oh.

 

“You coming?”

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Sure,” he doesn’t feel like cooking for one.

 

Arriving at the throuple’s place is somewhat exhausting, and Seokjin hasn’t even jumped out of the car yet. 

 

You’re already here, don’t be a dick. 

 

Your mom’s a dick. 

 

Your mother is dead, have some respect. 

 

Your mother has respect. 

 

Jeongguk runs out of the door, galloping with his dog. Or horse. Bam is big. 

 

He opens Seokjin’s door and Bam immediately jumps onto his lap with his front paws. 

 

“Hey, big boy,” he scratches Bam on the head, “you gonna come home with me today, huh?” he smiles. From his right, he watches Yoongi jump out and make a beeline for the door. 

 

Jeongguk grins, “Hungry?” 

 

Seokjin nods, “Always,” and follows him into the house. 

 

Jimin has an apron on, and to his surprise, Yoon-suh is stirring something on the stove.

 

“Ajumma?” 

 

“Jinnie! Aw, my sweet-face, how you, baby?” She pulls him into a kiss. 

 

“I’m good,” he frowns, “I thought you’re at the hospital this week?” 

 

She clicks her tongue, “Off today and tomorrow, working the weekend,” she turns back to the stove. Seokjin nods. 

 

“Where’s Taehyung-ah?” He taps Jimin’s leg with his foot. 

 

Jimin turns with a thoughtful frown, “I think he’s showering,” he looks back to the chopping board, “TAE!?” 

 

“YAH?” he hears from somewhere upstairs. 

 

“Yoongi-hyung and Jin-hyung are here!” he shouts. 

 

He hears something thump and then, “Coming!” and then the telltale patter of footsteps descending the stairs. 

 

“Hyung!” He hears him greet Yoongi. Yoongi was ambushed by Bam earlier, probably because of the kittens’ stray scent lingering on his clothes. 

 

“Ah, Jin-hyung! Where’s Namjoon-ah?”

 

Yoon-suh beats him to it, “Texas,” she answers as Taehyung hugs Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin leaves Yoon-suh to explain the business trip, in hope of finding Yoongi and Jeongguk. 

 

He finds the back door open, and steps through the flowing white curtains into the chilly air to find Yoongi running away from Bam with a rope. Jeongguk is clapping and laughing on the side, looking akin to a toddler. Seokjin sits on the bench set on the wrap-around porch. 

 

The sun is slowly turning into a deep shade of orange, lowering itself behind the horizon. Seokjin watches it and wonders if Namjoon is watching it as well. If he could see the weird cloud that’s sort of shaped like a witch’s hat. 

 

So now we’re watching sunsets and thinking about him? 

 

What? 

 

No, I just want to make sure I’m getting this right. 

 

I’m not - no one is thinking about anything. 

 

You need professional help. 

 

Seokjin huffs and pulls out his phone. He snaps a picture of the sunset and sends it off to Namjoon. 

 

It hasn’t even sent yet when his phone vibrates. Namjoon sent him a picture. 

 

He waits for it to load and laughs when he sees the sunset. 

 

From Honeybee at 17:46: You see the hat, right?

 

Seokjin grins. 

 

From Honeybee at 17:46: You sent me a picture too? 

From Honeybee at 17:47: Awww Hyung, you’re so romantic

 

Seokjin feels a deep warmth spread across his chest when he replies. 

 

To Honeybee at 17:47: Where are you? 

 

From Honeybee at 17:47: Texas?

From Honeybee at 17:47: ohhhh, we’re at some rooftop bar

From Honeybee at 17:48: it’s actually really nice

 

To Honeybee at 17:48: Oh? 

 

From Honeybee at 17:48: It’s so warm here 

From Honeybee at 17:49: And your father took shots with Jensen

 

Seokjin frowns.

 

To Honeybee at 17:50: Jensen? 

 

From Honeybee at 17:52: Remember I told you one of our contractors invited us to their brewery?

From Honeybee at 17:52: Its him

 

To Honeybee at 17:54: Have fun :) 

 

From Honeybee at 17:54: where are you? Whose fence is that? 

 

To Honeybee at 17:55: Worried? 

 

From Honeybee at 17:55: Always 

 

Seokjin’s brow creases. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? 

 

To Honeybee at 17:56: maknae’s 

 

From Honeybee at 17:56: Jimin and them? 

 

To Honeybee at 17:57: and ur mom

 

From Honeybee at 17:59: ???

From Honeybee at 17:59: MY mom?

 

To Honeybee at 17:59: no Namjoon, my mom

To Honeybee at 17:59: ofc ur mom

To Honeybee at 18:00: She n Jimin r cooking dinner 

 

From Honeybee at 18:00: ???

From Honeybee at 18:00: cool ?? 

 

To Honeybee at 18:00: Yoongi is playing with guk’s doggy

To Honeybee at 18:01: [Attached Picture]

 

From Honeybee at 18:02: So cute

From Honeybee at 18:02: The yard is so pretty 

 

To Honeybee at 18:02: want 1 like that? 

 

From Honeybee at 18:03: mmm

From Honeybee at 18:03: I can grow tomatoes in the back 

 

To Honeybee at 18:03: tomatoes??

 

From Honeybee at 18:04: Why? You want cabbage? 

From Honeybee at 18:04: 🌚

 

Seokjin laughs, and grins down at his phone. 

 

“Hyung, come play - why are you laughing?” Jeongguk shouts from one end of the yard.

“Leave him, he’s probably sexting Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi yells back. 

 

Seokjin sticks out his tongue and Yoongi mirrors it before throwing the rope. Bam launches himself through the air to catch it. 

 

To Honeybee at 18:06: U think ur funny huh? 

 

From Honeybee at 18:06: I think I’m hilarious 

 

To Honeybee at 18:07: I hope a horse bites u

 

From Honeybee at 18:08: ewww

From Honeybee at 18:08: I’d prefer it was you

 

Seokjin snorts. 

 

To Honeybee at 18:09: nevveerrrrrrr

 

From Honeybee at 18:11: [Attached Picture]

 

Seokjin clicks on the image to view it. Namjoon is standing next to a very attractive man with a cowboy hat on. Namjoon is slightly shorter than him, even with his hat on. The man has a beautiful smile and it creases the corners of his eyes. 

 

To Honeybee at 18:12: get his number for me 

 

From Honeybee at 18:12: Jensen’s? 

From Honeybee at 18:12: :( 

From Honeybee at 18:13: Lol, I had it first

 

“Guys! Food is ready!” Taehyung yells from inside the house.

 

Jeongguk is the first to bolt into the house, followed by Bam. Yoongi trails after them, chucking the rope at Seokjin. He catches it and wakes up to go inside. 

 

Dinner is bustling and Hoseok arrives when everyone is dishing out their food. He had to lock up the studio a little later because of an inspection.

 

Seokjin takes a backseat in the general conversation of the table. He wonders if Namjoon ate dinner before he went out drinking.

 

Should he check? 

 

He’s not sure. 

 

He tries to listen to Taehyung wax poetically about his newest project. He’s collaborating with a university’s fashion school, Seokjin can’t remember which one. All he knows is that it’s supposedly a renewed take on Asian wardrobes.

 

Yoon-suh is giving her opinion on Kanchipuram silk when Seokjin’s phone starts ringing, causing the entire table to jump. 

 

“Can you change your damn ringtone?” Yoongi snaps. 

 

“Just because you said that, no ,” he picks up the phone and accepts the call, “hello?” 

 

“HYUNG!” Namjoon’s voice blares through the speaker. 

 

“Namjoon-ah, I’m right here,” 

 

“You saved Namjoon-ah as ‘honeybee’ ?” Hoseok questions but Seokjin ignores him. 

 

“Sorry, it’s so loud in here,” and Seokjin can hear the bustle and music in the background.

 

Seokjin snorts and wakes up to step away when Namjoon asks, “Is everyone there?” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Put me on loud-speaker?” Seokjin clicks the loud-speaker icon and the entire table yells their greetings. 

 

“Hey guys!” 

 

“Namjoon-hyung please come home, Seokjin is being mopey,” Taehyung says.

 

“Am not !?”

 

He hears Namjoon snicker. 

 

“How you, my baby?” Yoon-suh asks gently while he’s busy arguing with Taehyung and Jimin.

 

“A little drunk, but good,” he laughs. 

 

Hoseok shouts, “Find any cowboys for us?” 

 

Namjoon snorts, “Jin-hyung’s dad is wearing a cowboy hat right now, if that counts,” he tells them and everyone laughs. 

 

“Give Namjung my regards, Joon,” Yoon-suh tells him. 

 

“Okay, okay, lemme speak to my boyfriend,” Namjoon shouts.

 

“Ya, see life came-way for this fella when you phoned,” Yoon-suh comments.

 

Yoongi snorts, and Seokjin sees Hoseok’s leg kick him underneath the table. 

 

Rolling his eyes, he walks away, “Hey,” 

 

A loud sigh, “Why are you moping?”

 

“I’m not moping,” Seokjin huffs, “anyway, why is my dad wearing a cowboy hat?” 

 

He hears a snicker, “Jensen is a cowboy fanboy, so,” 

 

“So why aren’t you off playing Dirty Harry?” 

 

“Oh, uh… you didn’t reply, so I just wanted to check up,” he mutters and Seokjin hears the uncertainty coating his words. 

 

“I’m fine,” he laughs, “Tae just called us in to eat,” 

 

“Without me?”

 

“Okay, Teenage-fuckboy, I’ll save you a plate,” he laughs, “bring home a Stetson,” he jokes. 

 

“I told you I already have one,” he says, then, “Hyung, do you like cowboys?” 

 

“What?”

 

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot, Hyu-” 

 

“ Namjoon-ah- ”

 

“No no, what if I dressed up as one-” Seokjin groans. 

 

“I’d probably be put off cowboys,” 

 

“Don’t lie,” Namjoon snickers. 

 

“Did you eat?” 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Did you eat?” 

 

“Oh, yeah, we had dinner before we started drinking,” 

 

“What did you have?” 

 

“Uhm, some brisket thing but it was nice,” he sighs, “what are you havin’?” 

 

“Oh, Jimin and your mom cooked, so a bunch of seafood,” Seokjin replies and he can literally see Namjoon scrunch his nose on the other side of the phone.

 

“Ew,” he remarks. 

 

“How am I gonna marry you?” Seokjin asks mournfully. 

 

Namjoon laughs softly, “I’ll buy you all the fish you want,” Seokjin smiles. 

 

“ Really ?” 

 

“Mmm, only if you promise to wear that pink-set on our wedding night,” 

 

“Oh, so this is a conditional marriage?” 

 

Namjoon snorts, “Of course, I’ll get you a subscription to those “How to Keep Your Husband” magazines, Hyung,” 

 

“You’re an idiot,” Seokjin chuckles. 

 

“An idiot with a good shoulder-to-hip ratio-”

 

“I said that one time,” Seokjin groans. 

 

Namjoon laughs across the line and sighs, “I wanna come back,” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Not havin’ fun?” 

 

A pause, and then, “No, I am, I just,” he coughs, “nevermind,” he hears the other man shift closer to the music and someone calls his name. 

 

“I gotta go, I’ll call you later-” and then Seokjin hears the beep.

 

He pulls the phone from his ear and looks down at it.

 

Did he just cut the call on me?

 

Yip. Probably to hang out with Jensen. 

 

Seokjin scowls and takes in his surroundings, he was walking along the back yard. Before his thoughts can consume him, he turns on his heel and walks into the house. 

 

Seokjin tries to join the conversation, trying not to think about how he implied that this marriage wasn’t conditional. 

 

Like he and Namjoon were getting married without any obligation. 

 

Namjoon wouldn’t -

 

Seokjin wouldn’t -

 

No, he doesn’t think about it. And when his phone rings with a text from Namjoon in the early parts of the morning telling him “night hyung” - he stares at the message. 

 

And does not think about it all. 

 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It’s Thursday afternoon and Seokjin has already left the office. Yoongi keeps texting him pictures of Biggie and Diddy, Hoseok and Jeongguk sends him a bunch of videos - and Namjoon sends him funny little pictures throughout his day. 

 

Just random things he saw and Seokjin smiles and ignores the niggling voice at the back of his mind telling him to draw the line. He replies to each one and forwards all the pictures of the kittens to him. 

 

It’s around one-thirty in the afternoon when Namjoon sends him a picture of him, his father and Jensen holding ridiculously large mugs of beer. Seokjin assumes they’re at the brewery.

 

To Honeybee at 13:38: Be safe :) 

 

From Honeybee at 13:39: I’m always safe ;) 

 

To Honeybee at 13:39: mmmm… 

 

He really wants to ask about Jensen but Seokjin doesn’t want to overstep. 

 

You know what's overstepping? 

 

What? 

 

Sucking his di-

 

From Honeybee at 13:41: What are you up to? 

 

To Honeybee at 13:42: left the office early

To Honeybee at 13:42: might go for coffee with Eric 

 

He’s probably not but Eric told him to let him know. 

 

The response comes back in an instant.

 

From Honeybee at 13:42: What? 

From Honeybee at 13:42: When? 

 

To Honeybee at 13:43: he wants to go later idk 

 

Seokjin frowns at his phone. Why is he acting weird?

 

From Honeybee at 13:45: Are you going to go? 

 

To Honeybee at 13:45: maybe, I’ll see how im feeling 

 

From Honeybee at 13:46: Okay. Have fun. 

 

Maybe he’s overthinking it… but does Namjoon sound mad? 

 

I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but yes. 

 

When do you not want to be the bearer of bad news? 

 

Touché . 

 

Why would he be mad? It’s not like-

 

Seokjin. Me. Please. 

 

What? 

 

Ask him instead of asking me. You? Me? Us? 

 

It’s not like he’s not out with some hot cowboy in Texas. 

 

I thought we agreed - 

 

His ringtone pulls him back out of his thoughts and to the lounge. 

 

It’s Namjoon. He answers. 

 

“Hey?” 

 

“Jin?” Not ‘Hyung’, he notes.  

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Are you going out with Eric?” Seokjin hears the slight agitation beneath the calmness. 

 

“I told you I don’t know,” he answers slowly, trying to understand what the hell is going on.

 

A moment of silence, and then, “Is it a date?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“ Jin ,”

 

“I don’t think so?” 

 

“Come on, Jin, you’d know if someone was asking you out on a date,”

 

“It’s not like I was planning on going-”

 

“You weren’t?” Namjoon butts in. 

 

“No, should I?”

 

Namjoon stays silent for a full thirty seconds before answering, “If that’s what you want?” 

 

Seokjin gulps and he hopes it isn’t audible, “It’s not,” he breathes. 

 

“Oh,” 

 

“Yeah,” he coughs, “anyway, aren’t you at the brewery?” 

 

And suddenly he feels lighter and the tension from his shoulders ease. 

 

“Oh yeah, Dan made me try mead,” 

 

“Who’s Dan?” 

 

“Jensen’s wife?” Seokjin relaxes further into the couch and laughs at himself. 

 

It’s not like he was jealous. 

 

Sometimes I wonder if you could gaslight yourself into flying.

 

“How was it?” 

 

“Strong,” he answers shortly and Seokjin smiles. 

 

“I’m not kidding, your father has a karaoke mic in his hand as we speak,”

 

Seokjin snorts, “No way my dad is gonn-” 

 

Honeybee is requesting a video call… 

 

Seokjin accepts and then he is watching his grown-ass father take to the stage with a lopsided cowboy hat. 

 

Namjoon’s camera wobbles as he laughs on the other side of the view and Seokjin can’t help but laugh at the worst rendition of ‘Country Roads’ he’s ever heard. 

 

Suddenly the camera switches and Namjoon is smiling into the camera, cheeks looking pink and his dimple set along his cheeks like a tattoo. 

 

“Hey,” Seokjin smiles. 

 

“You look snug,” 

 

“Yeah, well, my bed-warmer is in Texas,” Seokjin watches Namjoon throw his head back and laugh. 

 

“So, only a bed-warmer, huh?” His eyebrow lifts on the screen. 

 

Seokjin pulls his lips and nods, “Yip,” 

 

“You missin’ me?” 

 

Seokjin scrunches his nose, “Nah,” and he watches Namjoon pout.

 

“Not even a little bit?” Seokjin grins and shakes his head. 

 

“Mmm, that’s a shame,” Namjoon sighs and the camera tilts upwards. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Why?” 

 

He watches Namjoon scrunch his nose back, “Nothing,” and he sticks out his tongue. 

 

“Awww are you missing me, Namjoonie?” Seokjin laughs and feels something flutter in his chest. 

 

Namjoon shrugs and Seokjin admires his ability to admit to something like that. 

 

“Okay, fine, I only miss you a little,” Seokjin rolls his eyes, trying to pull the smile off his face. 

 

Namjoon’s smile engulfs his face and his eyes are muted by his cheeks and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Only a little?” 

 

“Only a little, Namjoonie,” he smiles softly at the other man on the screen. 

 

“I’ll call you later?” 

 

Seokjin nods and watches the call disconnect. 

 

He looks up to the ceiling and places his hand on his chest, letting the playlist run on the TV. 

 

Shit .

 

His heart beats hard against his chest, almost imprinting onto his palm.

 

What the hell is going on?

 

It’s happening again and it's been happening and Seokjin is just letting it happen.

 

His vision starts to blur and he can feel the first few tears slide down into his hair. 

 

Fuck, how the fuck did I let this happen? 

 

Hey no- 

 

I really don’t feel like taking your shit right now- How the fuck could I be so damn stupid? Over feelings? 

 

He knew better. 

 

I fucking knew better.

 

Okay, but what’s wrong with having feelings for-

 

You know what the fuck the problem is. 

 

You’re gonna be okay, Jin. We’re gonna be fine. 

 

I can’t -

 

He feels himself choke on a sob and lifts his hands to his eyes. 

 

You know it’s not the same. 

 

Thank you so much, Harry Styles. 

 

He feels himself laugh through the water in his throat. 

 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

 

Listen, what’s the worst that could happen?

 

He could say no and we’re in the same fucking place we were -

 

He never rejected you. 

 

It doesn’t mean he wouldn’t now-

 

And if he doesn’t? 

 

What? 

 

All I’m saying is that you’re in lo-

 

HAVE A CRUSH - MAYBE. 

 

Christ, I am trying my best. Okay, if you just let yourself feel these feelings, what’s the worst that could happen? 

 

He could call me a fairy-

 

Namjoon never did that. 

 

Fine. 

 

He’s not Chan. He’s not anyone you’ve slept with. 

 

What makes him different? 

 

He’s not. I mean, of course he is. But, he isn't...? 

 

What?

 

He’s not Chan or anyone else. But he is him. And with them, you’ve tried to force something that comes so naturally with him. 

 

I don’t understand - I don't fucking unders-

 

You’ve been looking for him everywhere you thought you’d find love, 

except for him. 

 

Doesn’t make him different. 

 

For starters, he didn’t kick you out when you cried after sucking his dick. 

 

Oh, sure. A real keeper, thanks, brain. 

 

I’m not done. He kept his word and made you breakfast in bed.

 

He kisses me on the forehead before he leaves. 

 

He’s the only dude you’ve had sex with that talks to you outside of the bedroom. 

 

Ouch. But we’re friends. Of course we speak. 

 

Does Namjoon seem like the type of guy that steps on his friend’s feelings? 

 

He has bef-

 

Nope, try again. 

 

FUCK. What the fuck do you want me to do? 

Feel. Can we just let ourselves feel this without fearing where it might end?

 

Why?

 

Because the last time we tried that, we ended up hating him for thirteen years. 

 

I never hated him. 

 

Wanna expand? 

 

I was angry at him. And myself. 

 

There we are. 

 

So, what? I just tell him I suddenly have feelings for him? 

 

No, no… can’t you just let shit happen without going in guns blazing??

 

He feels his chest calm to a steady pace, up, down, up, down. 

 

Why are you so against having feelings for Namjoon? 

 

I -

 

He breathes in so deeply that he feels his mouth dry. 

 

I’m scared. 

 

Why? 

 

Because I know him. I know how he loves his mom and how he loves everything in-between.

 

So? 

 

It doesn’t make sense. It’s a waste of time.

 

Why doesn’t it make sense?

 

Because it’s stupid and he doesn’t even want this so why am I crying over it? Because we don’t even know how to function in a relationship. 

 

You’ve been doing fine -

 

Because Namjoon is going to get up and realize that I manipulated him- 

 

You didn’t, he said it himself. 

 

Maybe we should call this whole thing off. Tell ‘em all we broke up. 

 

Do you want that? 

 

No. 

 

But you don’t think you deserve his love either? 

 

I just said -

 

Don’t give me that ‘asshole’ speel, save it for Bam. 

 

Seokjin snorts.

 

I - I don’t think I do. 

 

Why? (Save the pity party)

 

Seokjin breathes deeply. Breaths coming in a little less stuttery. 

 

Who would have thought? You comforting me? He laughs.

 

What’s the worst that could happen if he doesn’t resist? Perhaps it might dissolve. 

 

That’s the spirit! 

 

Just then his phone goes off with a notification. 

 

Who the fuck is texting him mid-breakdown - can he have some space? Jesus fu-

 

From Honeybee at 14:16: Are you okay?  

 

Seokjin frowns. 

 

To Honeybee at 14:17: Yeah? 

 

From Honeybee at 14:17: I’ll call soon :D

 

Seokjin locks his phone and drops it on his chest. 

 

—-----------

 

Seokjin is scrolling through Netflix's options in his bed when his phone rings beside him.

 

He answers it, already knowing who it is by the emojis flashing across the screen. 

 

“How was it?” 

 

He hears Namjoon huff deeply, probably settling on his bed, “I’m so drunk,” Seokjin chuckles. 

 

“Good?” 

 

Namjoon hums, “Yeah,” he said, “could have been better,” he mumbles. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“I mean, like, you could have been here instead of your dad,” he hiccups, “not that I don’t love your dad,” he rushes out, “I really do… I mean, I think -” Seokjin starts laughing over him. 

 

“Don’t laugh at me,” Namjoon grumbles across the line. 

 

“It’s only like nine, why are you back so early?” 

 

“I’m tired,” he says, “and I wanted to talk to you,” 

 

“Better than a cowboy?” 

 

“Much better,” Seokjin smiles and ignores the voice telling him to cut the call, fake his death and move to Mexico. 

 

“How was your day?” 

 

“Oh, good, Jeongguk and I were playing some Halo,” 

 

“Oh?” 

 

“Yeah,” 

 

“How is he? He never replies to the group,” Seokjin laughs.

 

Getting a reply from Jeongguk was a fight and a half. They made a group for all seven of them, and threatened to kick Jimin out when he insisted Yoon-suh be added. 

 

“He’s good, the boys are keeping an eye on him in case his mood drops too quickly,” he laughs, “he’s pretty annoyed,” Namjoon snickers. 

 

“He’s so different from them,” Namjoon says softly and Seokjin wonders if he was supposed to hear it. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

“Oh,” he says, “I don’t know, he doesn’t talk about sex as much as Jimin and Tae for starters,” and Seokjin laughs. 

 

“It’s strange ‘cause they’re so codes- cohesive? Yeah, cohesive,” he decides proudly. 

 

“Well, ‘Guk is sort of asexual-” 

 

“But I thought -”

 

“Yeah, doesn’t mean he doesn’t have sex,” Seokjin explains, “the way they explained it to me is like a spectrum,” he pauses, “So ‘Guk flows between demisexuality and asexuality,” 

 

“O- okay ?”

 

“Well, for him, it’s specifically Jimin and Tae that he can, y’know?” Seokjin tries. 

 

“Ohhhh, cool,” Namjoon drags out. 

 

“I can ask him to talk to you about it, I’m sure he’ll be more tha-”

 

“No, no, I think I know more about Jeongguk and his family for three lifetimes,” Namjoon interrupts him. 

 

He barks a laugh, “He’s a good kid,” 

 

Namjoon hums softly, “How are you?” 

 

“We spoke today? I’m fine,” 

 

“I don’t know, I had a feeling,” Namjoon says over the line. 

 

Seokjin frowns, there’s no possible way that Namjoon would have known about earlier. 

 

But he did text him in the middle of it all to check-up. Which is weirder. 

 

“So, are you excited to come home?” 

 

“Mmm, just thinking about your cold feet is getting me excited,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “So it doesn’t take much, huh?” 

 

Namjoon snorts, “No, it does,” he says, “it’s easier with you,” he sighs. 

 

“Oh, so I’m special?” 

 

“Mmm, perhaps,” he says, “I want a garden, Hyung,” he sighs. 

 

Seokjin laughs at the change of subject, “How big?” 

 

“ Big big,” Namjoon presses, “‘cause I want a dog,” 

 

“Me too,” he agrees. 

 

“Yeah? We could get a Samoyed,” 

 

Seokjin smiles, “Absolutely, they’re so cute,” 

 

“What do you want in our house?” 

 

The “our” completely bypasses him and he answers, “A library with a big window, so I can watch Moni,”  

 

“Moni?” 

 

“The dog , Namjoon, keep up,” 

 

Namjoon snickers and Seokjin hears him shift. 

 

“We can have a big kitchen too, like those fancy ones on HGTV,” 

 

“What? So you can burn my kitchen down? It’s off-limits for you,” Seokjin snaps back fondly. 

 

He can picture Namjoon smile when he answers, “I can peel potatoes now, thank you very much,” 

 

“You can help ,” 

 

“We should get those fridges that play music,” 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“So we don’t have to listen to a random dude’s music when I want to dance with you,” Seokjin smiles so hard, his cheeks hurt and his chest floods with molten-honey. 

 

“He gave us a brilliant performance that night, Namjoon,” 

 

He hears Namjoon laugh softly, “He did, but…” he trails off. 

 

“ But ?”

 

“I wanted to kiss you so much that night, Hyung,” Seokjin’s heart tries to jump out of his chest.

 

“Oh,” he tries, “why didn’t you?” 

 

“I - I don’t know,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

“Kiss me when you see me tomorrow?” 

 

“Isn’t Yoongi going to be there?” Namjoon counters. Seokjin asked Yoongi to drive him to the airport since he sent his car in for a service earlier today. 

 

“And?” 

 

“Okay,” he replies and Seokjin smiles and relaxes into his pillow further, letting the screensavers on the TV flash past. 

 

After about an hour of entertaining Namjoon's drunken thoughts - Namjoon ends up snoring on the call and Seokjin laughs softly.

 

 He doesn’t cut the call. 

Chapter 18: In Which Seokjin Tries Something New

Notes:

Hey guys sorry i haven't updated - im movin to a new place soon! And I've been trying to do some spell jars for me and the homies

BTW I'll upload chapter 17 & 18 together (cause they were one chapter but i don't know how to control my word count apparently rude) anyway ENJOY

also this chapter is lots of feelings (for me personally as a person but im not a person im like energy but like im a brown person so am i invalidating my human existence bc of the colonization or is my third eye open what)

 

Yoongi is bribable. In the sense of a really intense cup of coffee in the morning is Seokjin’s saving grace. Yoongi even asks him what music he wants to listen to on the way to the airport. 

 

“Mmmm, you got anything new?” 

 

Yoongi hums and raises a brow. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Why are you humming so much?” 

 

“What?” 

 

“Namjoon hums,” Yoongi looks back to the road. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “ Okay ?”

 

Yoongi presses skip until he finds the right song. Seokjin doesn’t know why he put a random playlist if he was adamant about a song. 

 

“How are you?” 

 

Yoongi shrugs and pulls his lips down, “Good,” 

 

“You look like you haven’t slept since The Great Depression,” he tells him, “which you also-” 

 

“What’s on the board?” Yoongi interrupts and points to the rolled up poster board on his lap. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “You can just say, ‘I don’t feel like talking about it’, y’know?” Seokjin purses his lips. 

 

“And that will get me an FBI-level investigation, so no,”

 

Seokjin is about to hum suspiciously but stops himself before Yoongi smirks at him with his stupid ass smirk. 

 

Seokjin adjusts himself on the seat. Enemas are no joke. 

 

He clenches at the thought.

 

“You haven’t answered,” he says,  “and can you stop shaking your leg?” 

 

Seokjin’s legs stills, he hadn’t even realised that his leg was bouncing up a storm. 

 

He knocks the roll in his lap, “A sign for Namjoon, so he can find us,” he shrugs. 

 

“I don’t think he’ll miss your big head,” Yoongi pushes his head and Seokjin smacks his hand away. 

 

Yoongi snickers, “I miss you,” he suddenly blurts out. 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen and he turns to Yoongi in surprise, “What?” He’s not sure he heard correctly. 

 

“I miss you,” he repeats and turns to smile at Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin reaches out his fingers to pinch Yoongi on his arm, which results in a scream and the car swerving off the road.

 

When Yoongi straightens up on the road he looks at Seokjin distastefully, “I’m driving!? ”

 

“I had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.” 

 

“You have to pinch yourself , stupid,” he chuckles and Seokjin looks at his friend.

 

Stares .

 

“I’m right here though,” 

 

Yoongi shrugs, “I haven’t seen you much recently,” 

 

Seokjin frowns and swallows the retort, “I miss you too,” he says awkwardly. 

 

And he does. God, he misses just hanging out with Yoongi and just doing nothing but talking for hours on end. Or not talking. 

 

“ I’m sure ,” he smiles at Seokjin, “I think you’re missing someone else a little more,” Yoongi grins. 

 

“What? Namjoon? Nah,” he waves his hand in the air as if the thought was ridiculous. 

 

“It’s okay,” he says, “to miss him.”

 

“I- I,” Seokjin stops himself with the thought of yesterday’s epiphany, “Yeah,” he admits quietly.

 

Yoongi has a small smile on his face and Seokjin turns the music a little louder and changes the song to something they both know.

 

Seokjin watches Yoongi laugh to himself softly before belting out, “ Like a warrior that fights - 

 

And wins the battle - I know the taste of victory - ” his voice strains with the effort of hitting Aretha Franklin’s vocals but Seokjin laughs and tries his best to sing George Michael’s part. 

 

By the time the song ends, Yoongi has been flipped off several times on the long road because he was more interested in performing with Seokjin and dramatically hitting the bass notes. 

 

Seokjin has to wipe his eyes but the next song comes on after the fade-out, and Yoongi starts seducing Seokjin with “Promiscuous Girl” and Seokjin starts singing Nelly Furtado’s part. 

 

They both have massive smiles etched on their faces when they arrive at the airport. Seokjin’s nerves have sort of settled but he can feel the buzz of excitement thrumming beneath his skin. It’s so silly, he saw Namjoon less than a week ago. 

 

Yoongi walks alongside, carefully avoiding people touching him by sticking close to Seokjin. 

 

They reach the gate exit and Seokjin is really trying to listen to what Yoongi is saying to him but he’s bouncing on his heels and looking past the glass windows for any tell-tale signs of Namjoon and his father. 

 

He unrolls the poster board and Yoongi laughs when he sees the bold Hangul lettering on the plain white board. 

 

“Cockroach?” He asks, “Why is there a bee?” He points to the terribly drawn bee Seokjin had scribbled on. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Honeybee? He’s a honeybee,” Seokjin explains. 

 

Yoongi snickers, “You’re so fucking gay,” he sighs and lifts the left side of the board to help Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin’s father is the first one through the doors and Seokjin tenses. His father walks towards them and Yoongi’s fingers tighten on the edge of the cardboard. 

 

They bow simultaneously, “Hi, boys,” he starts, “here for Namjoon?” 

 

Seokjin nods and pastes a smile on his face. Seokjin looks at the stress lines on his face curve as his father smiles softly at them. 

 

Is he possessed? 

 

Shit, do we even know how to exorcise? 

 

We don’t even know how to exercise- 

 

Yoongi has some experience- 

 

Yeah, sure, let me just ask Yoongi to relive the worst time of his life- 

 

He nods, “We should have dinner soon?” His dad offers and he looks between Yoongi and Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “ What ?” But Yoongi nudges him, “Yeah, of course,” he smiles. His father nods and bids them goodbye. 

 

“That’s not weird at all,” Yoongi says. 

 

Yeah. Not weird at all.

 

The crowd is filtering out slowly from the gates now, and Namjoon walks out rolling his bag. 

 

He looks tired but that doesn’t stop Seokjin from dropping his side of the poster and running straight to Namjoon. Namjoon sees him coming, and with a big grin on his face, he drops whatever he was holding and holds his arms out so Seokjin can ram himself into him.

 

He laughs when Namjoon easily catches his weight and his hands come to support his thighs around his waist. Seokjin holds him in the hug for a few seconds before pulling back. 

 

“Hey,” Namjoon smiles up at him, and Seokjin smiles so hard that he can barely see Namjoon.

 

“Hey,” Seokjin giggles, feeling warm all over. 

 

Seokjin ducks his head down, “May I?” He looks at Namjoon. 

 

The other man frowns for a moment, and before Seokjin can ask why, he lifts his mouth to his. 

 

Seokjin feels the loneliness of the week pour out of him when Namjoon kisses him and his stomach feels like it's exploding on the inside. 

 

‘Friends’ my ass. 

 

Shut it.

 

He laughs and pulls back. 

“What?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin shrugs and leans down to kiss him again.

 

Namjoon laughs into the kiss, “So you only missed me a little ?” he mumbles against Seokjin’s mouth. 

 

Seokjin purses his lips, “Only a little,” and he really does try to fight the grin spreading across his face. 

 

Namjoon eventually sets him down onto the floor and Seokjin frowns at his suitcase. 

 

Or, well, the thing on top of it. 

 

“Who’d you get flowers for?” 

 

Namjoon looks at the bouquet of blue and pink flowers lying on his suitcase. 

 

“Oh,” he lifts them and looks everywhere except at Seokjin, “you,” he mumbles.

 

 “So, here,” he holds them out and it smacks Seokjin in the chest. 

 

Seokjin grabs the bouquet before it can fall, “For me ?” He looks at the flowers in his hands and then to Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon looks like he’s trying to gauge Seokjin’s reaction, eyes flicking all over his face. 

 

Seokjin knows his mouth is slightly parted in shock but before he can think of what the fuck to say, Yoongi interrupts them-

 

“Namjoon-ah,” Yoongi walks up to them and smacks Seokjin’s head with the rolled up poster. 

 

“Hey, Hyung,” Namjoon steps forward to hug him, “thanks for driving us,” Yoongi pats his back awkwardly and releases him. 

 

“Where’s my flowers?” Yoongi looks at the bouquet. 

 

Seokjin is still staring a hole into Namjoon’s face when the other man quickly responds, “Give me a kiss and I’ll give you flowers,” he pouts his lips and leans forward to Yoongi. 

 

Yoongi groans and smacks him with the roll, “Jesus, you sound like Jin,”

 

“What’s on the board?”

 

Yoongi unrolls it and Namjoon barks a laugh, “Cockroach? Hyung, no, ” he turns to Seokjin and sulks.

 

Seokjin forces out a laugh and hugs the bouquet of flowers closer. He feels a little floaty. 

 

“Are you going to the office today?” Yoongi asks, turning to walk to the parking lot. 

 

Seokjin watches Namjoon scrunch his face up and pull his suitcase. 

 

“No, I need to sleep for eleven years,” 

 

“Texas was fun then,” Yoongi laughs.

 

Seokjin follows behind, listening closely to their conversation. They look back a couple of times to check if he was still behind them. 

 

He stays quiet and tries to figure out why the fuck Namjoon would get him flowers.

 

Do you think he-

 

I am once again asking you to just ask him instead of me. 

 

Thanks, Bernie Sanders . 

 

When Namjoon jumps into the back seat beside Seokjin, Yoongi groans about being their taxi driver. 

 

Namjoon smiles at him and glances at the bouquet, “You like them?” He lifts a brow. 

 

Seokjin looks at them and gently pinches a velvety petal,-

 

“Give him a few minutes, I don’t think anyone’s gotten him flowers before,” they both lift their heads at the sound of Yoongi’s voice. Seokjin glares at him in the rear-view mirror. 

 

“I love them,” he tells Namjoon, “thank you,” he smiles. 

 

Namjoon grins and Seokjin leans forward to peck him on the cheek, “I mean it, thank you.” He feels the sunlight stream straight into him.

 

“Does anyone know what’s going on with the wedding?” Yoongi interrupts the tender moment.

 

“I don’t know if my mom’s gonna make it,” Namjoon answers. 

 

Seokjin pouts, “I’ll tell Jiwoo,” 

 

“Jimin said we should rent a minibus and drive up,” Yoongi tells them.

 

“Absolutely the fuck not,” Seokjin barks, “That’s like, a three day drive!?”

 

Yoongi clicks his tongue, “He said it’d be fun, if that helps,” 

 

“It doesn’t,” 

 

“It’s like a little road trip,” Namjoon chips in.

 

“You guys can go ahead, I’ll fly up,” 

 

“If you’re not going, I sure as hell am not,” Yoongi adds, “they won’t let me sleep,” 

 

“She’s booking business class for us, isn’t she?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon hums, “We have to confirm before tonight, so -” 

 

“We can fly in on Thursday and come back the following week?” 

 

Yoongi shrugs, “Cain won’t mind, easy schedule,” 

 

“ Cain ?” 

 

“Oh, he offered to DJ the later part of Jiwoo’s wedding for the experience and cake,” Yoongi answers, “she liked some of his sets too, so win-win,” 

 

“Cain? The kid with green hair?” 

 

“He’s literally like two years younger than you,” Yoongi laughs, “and it’s pink now,” he tells Namjoon as he turns left. 

 

“You should go green,” Seokjin tells Yoongi.

 

Namjoon immediately agrees and that’s how they spend the entire drive home; convincing Min Yoongi, father of the colour of black, to dye his hair green.

 

Yoongi chases them out of his car when they’re home. Seokjin even invited him up for some breakfast but Yoongi passes with a suspicious look on his face. 

 

“I’ll call later, we’ll all decide together?” He offers instead and they both bid Yoongi goodbye. 

 

They chat about Namjoon’s trip while he unpacks, and Seokjin puts the flowers in a vase on the table. 

 

“Shit-” 

 

“What?!” 

 

“I haven’t watered my plants in like, two weeks,” Namjoon looks up in distress. 

 

“Oh, we can take a drive later? You can pick ‘em up?” He’s separating Namjoon’s dark clothes in the wash.

 

Namjoon picks his head up with a frown, “Bring them here?” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Yeah, so you can remember to water them,” he’s trying to decide if these grey sweatpants count as white. 

 

“Jin,” 

 

Is it white ?

 

“Jin-hyung?” 

 

He looks at Namjoon, “Yes?” 

 

“Wha- I’m a little confused,” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Me too,” he lifts the pants and Namjoon laughs and grabs the pants out of his hands. 

 

“Am I staying over?” He asks. 

 

Seokjin looks at him, and tilts his head, “Why not?” 

 

Namjoon opens his mouth to say something but Seokjin never gets to hear it because he shuts it and nods. 

 

His heart is racing. 

 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck- 

 

Calm down, he nodded. 

 

Yeah, but what if I’m coming on too strong??

 

He got you a bunch of flowers. That’s strong. That’s like the Hulk on steroids-

 

It’s not like he’s obligated to stay, right? He can always say no. 

 

Or you can just tell him you want him around like a normal person. 

 

I literally asked him to stay over for an ambiguous amount of time!? He’s bringing his pl-

 

What if -

 

He’s not going to hurt you. 

 

But- 

 

“Hyung?” Namjoon pulls him to the present moment, and he’s holding the button-up that Seokjin got him. He threw it in the laundry basket to get rid of the ‘new’ smell.

 

Seokjin looks at the shirt and feels his ears burn even more .

 

“ Yeah ?” He squeaks, trying to seem casual. 

 

“Whose shirt is this?” And Seokjin looks at the slight tension in his jaw. 

 

His eyebrows sit in a frown and Seokjin wants to laugh, “You like it?” 

 

Namjoon’s frown deepens, “Whose shirt-” 

 

“It’s yours,” Seokjin interrupts the tumbling man. 

 

Namjoon looks back to the shirt and turns it over a few times, “I don’t have a shirt like this,” 

 

Seokjin pulls in his lips, trying not to laugh, “Namjoon, I bought you a shirt,” and suddenly his hands are still. He looks up at Seokjin. 

 

“You bought me a shirt?” 

 

“Well, if you don’t like it, I can exchange it,” Seokjin offers and reaches out to take the shirt.  

 

Namjoon snatches the shirt back aggressively, “No, no, no,” he holds it on his shoulder, “mine.” 

 

“Yeah, now you can add it to your collection of ridiculous shirts,” he tells Namjoon, and he sticks his tongue out in response. 

 

They load the washing-machine, and Seokjin adds the new softener that Namjoon recommended he buy two weeks ago. 

 

It smells nicer. 

 

It smells like Namjoo-

 

Once the washer is going, it rattles slightly against the counter while Seokjin washes his hands. 

 

He shuts the tap off and he feels Namjoon press him into the counter, the edge biting into his hip. 

 

Namjoon leans down and kisses his neck, and Seokjin feels his whole body shiver with the heat of his breath. 

 

“ Hey ,” he says into his neck. Seokjin grips the edge of the counter hard . 

 

Namjoon’s hands crowd his waist, all the way to his stomach. 

 

Thank fuck you douched.

 

I didn’t prep- 

 

Do we even care? 

 

Yes!? My ass- 

 

Bootyhole pain is temporary, that dick is eternal. 

 

What the actual fuck-

 

“ I missed you, princess ,” Seokjin feels his pulse in his dick .

 

Seokjin feels his one hand slowly slide up his chest, “ You know what I thought about while I was alone? ” His thumb gently rubs over his nipple through the shirt. 

 

Seokjin breathes deeply, “What did you think about?” His eyes flutter closed.

 

He hums into Seokjin’s neck, and his nose presses against the throbbing pulse, “ My birthday ,” his hand rests on the left side of Seokjin’s chest, “ know which part, baby?” he taps his chest. 

 

“W-which part?” Seokjin stutters. 

 

“ Your pretty panties ,” Seokjin sucks in a breath, “ and it got me thinking… ” Namjoon trails off. 

 

“About?” 

 

Namjoon’s hand presses into his stomach, while the other comes to rest lightly around the base of his neck. 

 

“ You liked my wine-colored lace, right ?” He asks.

 

“ Yes ,” it sounds more like a hiss and he drops his head onto Namjoon’s shoulder. 

 

Namjoon chuckles into his ear, “ I think that colour, ” his hands slowly tighten on the sides of Seokjin’s neck, “ would look lovely on you, ” his fingers now firm against the sides of his neck. 

 

He feels dizzy and he wants Namjoon to press down even more.

 

I didn’t even know you were into asphyxiation? 

 

Well, now you do. 

 

He knows he’s hard, and Namjoon hasn’t done much of anything yet- 

 

And suddenly his hands are gone and Seokjin feels the cool air of the kitchen hit his back. 

 

“Wha-“ he spins around.

 

“We gotta go get my plants,” Namjoon is smiling so fucking innocently that Seokjin is entirely disoriented for a second. 

 

“Namjoon-“ 

 

But he’s turning his heel and already pattering out the kitchen, “Come on, hyung,” 

 

Seokjin swallows and follows him to the coat rack. 

 

Namjoon holds out his coat so Seokjin can slip into it, and when Namjoon has set the collar, he pecks Seokjin on the nose. 

 

Is this a game? 

 

Maybe I am going to get my feelings stomped on. 

 

Father god, the man just asked you to wear his panties. 

 

Yeah, but… what if it’s just sex to him? 

 

And if it’s not? Just sex? 

 

What? We get married for real!? 

 

Jesus, Jin. No one is talking about marriage. Why the fuck are you so afraid of exploring something with him?

 

No one stays. No one stays-  including him. 

 

Oh, so I assume you’re fucking a ghost then. 

 

You- 

 

And Yoongi and Hoseok and Jeongguk and- 

 

I GET IT - I GET IT. 

 

I’m glad. So- 

 

They’ve never been romantically involved with me. 

 

They’re still around. Unconditionally. 

 

We’ve never been in a committed relationship before. It’s always just been casual. 

 

And… Do you want that with him? A romantic relationship?

 

I… it’s been so easy. It’s been so natural. It’s never been like that. 

 

You haven’t answered. 

 

I want it. I want to have this with him and I want it to be real and - 

 

It burns? 

 

It burns me. 

 

“Hyung, are you going to get out?” Seokjin is zapped back to reality and Namjoon is standing at the passenger door. 

 

They’re outside his apartment building. 

 

Well, thank fuck you weren’t driving. 

 

When did we get in the car?!

 

When you were burning- 

 

Not funny. 

 

Lol.

 

Seokjin smiles and follows Namjoon up the stairs. 

Namjoon keeps throwing worried glances back.

 

“What’s the matter?” He asks once they’ve placed all Namjoon’s pots into a long crate. 

 

A lot of them look limp and sort of dry but Namjoon assures him that they’ll be fine.

 

Seokjin looks at him and shakes his head, “Nothing,” he says. 

 

Namjoon pulls his mouth and walks around the box to Seokjin. 

 

“What can I do to help?” He places his hands on his elbows.

 

Seokjin looks at Namjoon. 

 

I’ve asked too much of him already . 

 

So, “You can kiss me,” is all he tells Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “ Jin ,” 

 

“ What ?” 

 

“You can talk to me,” he pulls back slightly.

 

“I promise, there’s nothing wrong,” he leans in and places his head on his shoulder. 

 

Namjoon wraps him up and holds him close. He inhales deeply, and Seokjin feels the imprint of his pulse on his ear.

 

“I’m hungry,” Seokjin mutters after a while.

 

Namjoon snorts, “Is that why you’re spacey?”

 

“Shut it,” he lifts his head. 

 

“Wanna go for a drive after we eat?” Namjoon asks as they detangle themselves. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “And some coffee,” 

 

“We could find a bookstore?” 

 

“Or a farm,”

 

Seokjin grins. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t leave his apartment before packing his entire little box full of colourful rocks and crystals. 

 

“For charging,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

How the fuck do you charge a rock? 

 

Maybe it came with a cable?

 

The skies are eaten by the clouds, so it’s grey. 

 

Once they get back home, Namjoon does something with the plants in the bathtub. 

 

How are we so deep into this that you have a forest in your bathtub? 

 

I don’t even know how to answer that. 

 

Namjoon is at the dining table with a burning stick of wood. The smoke smells perfumey.

 

“What are you doing?” 

 

“Cleansing,” 

 

“The rocks?”

 

“ Crystals ,” he corrects, “c’mere, I’ll tell you about ‘em,” 

 

Seokjin smiles hard and comes to sit beside Namjoon and sits quietly while Namjoon swirls the incense around a purple crystal. 

 

“Amethyst,” he holds it up for Seokjin to see. 

 

“Helps with anxiety and when I pair it up with this bad boy,” he picks up a white crystal, “I have really vivid dreams,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Really?” He asks, “What’s this one?” 

 

“Selenite,” Namjoon answers proudly with a smile. 

 

He puts them down and picks up the pink pyramid he made Seokjin’s bath with. 

 

“Rose quartz, right?” 

 

Namjoon looks at him with a frown, “You remember?” 

 

Seokjin hums and nods. 

 

“What’s it for?” 

 

“Well, I use it for love,” he answers and Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Does it work?” 

 

“It brought me to you, didn’t it?” He snorts. 

 

Seokjin feigns a laugh but his heart leaps through his throat. 

 

He’s joking, watch yourself. 

 

Haha. I always joke about being in love with my best friends. A casual hobby, if you will. 

 

Shut it.

 

“Mostly self-love,” Namjoon continues, “it helps.” 

 

Seokjin watches Namjoon cleanse his crystals and listens to the benefits of each one. 

 

He wants to touch them but he doesn’t. 

 

He likes the light green one most. It’s a small pebble but it’s so cute. He can’t explain it. 

 

Namjoon picks it up, it’s the last crystal he needs to cleanse. 

 

“Green jade,” he tells him. 

 

He cleanses it and Seokjin’s heart feels weird. It’s beating fast. 

 

Namjoon doesn’t explain anything, instead he holds it out to Seokjin. 

 

“For you,” 

 

Seokjin frowns. 

 

He reaches out and plucks the crystal from his palm. 

 

“Me? Why?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Hand me a plate,”

 

Seokjin frowns and walks to the kitchen without a question. He holds the jade tight in his fist and hands it to Namjoon to do whatever.

 

Namjoon places them in a weird pattern with the wand of selenite in the middle. 

 

Seokjin follows him out to the balcony and watches him place the plate on a stool directly under the sun. 

 

“Food?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon grins and takes a step towards him, “I could use something to eat,” he places his hands on Seokjin’s waist. 

 

“What do you feel like?” Seokjin asks, sliding his hands up Namjoon’s chest. 

 

Namjoon sighs deeply, “Something tasty,” he pulls Seokjin a little closer. 

 

“Burgers?” 

 

Namjoon scrunches his nose, “I had something else in mind,” he leans down, “may I?” 

 

Seokjin’s chest feels like there’s hot water flooding it, “Yeah,” he smiles.

 

Namjoon leans down to kiss him and Seokjin slides his hands over his shoulders to pull him closer. 

 

It feels so good just to kiss him. 

 

Seokjin likes it so much that he smiles through the kiss, enough for Namjoon to pull back. 

 

“What?” 

 

“I like kissin’ you,” Seokjin leans forward but Namjoon leans back. 

 

“Oh?” He lifts a brow, “Better than Eric?” 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “I don’t even remember that-”

 

Namjoon hands shift on his waist, “Mmm,” he purses his mouth. 

 

“What? You jealous?” Seokjin laughs. 

 

But Namjoon’s face drops completely and his arms loosen. 

 

Seokjin frowns and tries to look him in the eye, “Wh- you’re jealous ?”

 

Namjoon entirely disconnects the both of them, and steps backwards. 

 

He huffs, “What? No - I’m not,” he groans. 

 

Seokjin takes a step forward, “Oh my god, wh-” and the words evaporate off his tongue. 

 

Oh . 

 

But it can’t be-

 

Can you shut the fuck up for two seconds ? 

 

Namjoon’s whole jaw is tense and he’s avoiding eye contact entirely, he’s frowning at Seokjin’s stomach. 

 

“Aww, Namjoonie, you were jealous?” He pulls Namjoon back to him. 

 

“ Hyung, no,” 

 

“Look at me,” Seokjin instructs him and he can feel the other man fiddle with the button on his shirt. 

 

“You think Eric can compete with your shoulder-to-hip ratio?” He tilts his head with a smile.

 

Namjoon breaks the frown with a soft laugh, “You did kiss him-”

 

“Mmm,” Seokjin hums and leans close to Namjoon’s mouth, “I didn’t really notice my honeybee’s shoulder-to-hip ratio then ,” he says against his mouth. 

 

Namjoon flicks his eyes upwards, “You didn’t?” Namjoon’s lips touch his when he asks.

 

“Okay, maybe I did ,” he grins. 

 

“ Really now?” Namjoon pulls his body closer.

 

“Just a little,” he laughs and scrunches his nose. He allows his weight to fall more onto the other man.

 

“ Only a little?” Namjoon’s mouth is right against his, eyebrow raised. 

 

Seokjin hums and leans in to kiss Namjoon. 

 

A car beeping down on the street draws them away from each other. Seokjin sees a black bird fly past Namjoon’s head in the distance. 

 

“Hungry?” He asks.

 

Namjoon nods, “Want a cool milkshake?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Yeah?” 

 

“I know a place,” and that’s how they end up driving for almost thirty minutes to some windmill-restaurant in the middle of a lush green field. 

 

Seokjin was tasked, dutifully, with pointing out random horses they saw on their way there. 

 

That, and telling Namjoon to stay in the car when he saw a stray cat on the road. 

 

He’s still pouting when they park the car. 

 

“Namjoon, what? You were gonna bring it home?” 

 

“Well - what if it needed help?” 

 

“Did it ask you for help?” 

 

“What -” Namjoon laughs, “let’s go eat,” pokes Seokjin’s side. 

 

Seokjin jumps out of the car and takes in the place. It’s nothing more than a big cottage with a rusty, chipping windmill behind it. 

 

Namjoon comes to his side and locks the car. There’s an old navy truck besides them and a beat up Sentra parked further away. 

 

“Are you going to murder me?” Seokjin looks at him gravely.

 

Namjoon barks a laugh and holds his hand out, Seokjin takes it and lets the other man link their fingers together, “Nah, that’s bad karma,” he says and swings their hands between them.

 

Seokjin lets the warm feeling rise within him when Namjoon tightens his fingers and leads them to the entrance. 

 

Inside is cute and warm, and Seokjin can smell something sweet coating the air. It’s deep, almost burnt. There is mismatched furniture and tables all over the place, but nothing seemingly out of place. 

 

A man pops out of nowhere and scares the living shit out of Seokjin with a simple, “Hi!” 

 

“Hi,” he tries but Namjoon takes over while he tries to recalibrate. 

 

“You guys can have a seat wherever you’d like,” he smiles and scurries off. 

 

“He’s nice,” Seokjin comments while seating himself. 

 

Namjoon hums, “I don’t think they were expecting anyone,” 

 

“We are kind of in the middle of nowhere,” he says, “how did you even find this place?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Someone I met in college brought me here,” 

 

Seokjin remembers Yoon-suh mentioning someone when they visited her, “Charlie?” 

 

Namjoon turns his head from looking out of the window with a frown, “Yeah, actually,” 

 

“Your mom spoke about her,” he expands. 

 

“Them,” Namjoon corrects, “They were A.M.A.B, but they don’t identify with any binary.” 

 

“Well, as far as I remember.”

 

“Wait, so your mom knew you were g - bisexual before all of this?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon still has a soft frown on his forehead as he nods, “Of course, she was the first person I told.” 

 

Seokjin laughs, “I don’t know how I completely missed that,” 

 

“What?” 

 

The man comes back with two menus and hands it to each of them. 

 

“Well, your mom wasn’t surprised, and didn’t you say she was happy when you told her?” 

 

Namjoon smiles and opens the booklet, “I told you that I wasn’t trying to hide it.” 

 

Seokjin sticks out his tongue. 

 

Namjoon mocks him, “Gotta keep up, Hyung,” he tells him, “You’re gettin’ old.” He grins. 

 

“Shut it.” 

 

When the man comes back, he takes their orders and Seokjin orders a milkshake with the weirdest fucking name. 

 

Their late breakfast is nice. Better than nice but Seokjin is trying not to think about how much this feels like a date. 

 

They’re laughing, sharing stupid stories and flirting.  

 

Namjoon is flirting with him. He’s flirting too, but it feels normal. 

 

So close to what they usually do. Except Seokjin is now thinking about it…

 

And …

 

Is this a date?

 

You tell me. Y’all are sleeping together, staying at each other’s places, planning on getting married, going fo-

 

Okay okay, but that was just for the situation they were in. 

 

No one is forcing you guys to spend this much time together. 

 

Namjoon is leaning over to steal some of Seokjin’s pie, “We can go lay in the field when we’re done?” Namjoon replies after Seokjin’s comment about rolling him to the car. 

 

Seokjin moans and reaches down to his belt, “I’m gonna throw up,” he leans back and unbuckles it entirely. 

 

“Must I ask him to take away the pie?” 

 

Seokjin shoots up straight, “What? Don’t be ridiculous ,” he picks up his fork, “I just made space.” 

 

Namjoon laughs and pushes the ramkin filled with cream towards him. 

 

Namjoon ends up piggy-backing Seokjin to the car to get a blanket. 

 

“Why do you even have a blanket in your car?” He frowns, the motion is making him dizzy. 

 

Namjoon puts him down with a great huff, “In case of emergencies,” he shrugs. 

 

“ Picnic emergencies?” 

 

“Exactly.” He slams the trunk closed and turns to Seokjin with a radiant smile. 

 

The green field is pretty vast, so he hops onto Namjoon’s back once again and allows him to lead them to a spot far away from the windmill and close to the brush.

 

Once Namjoon splays out the blanket on the floor, he drops like a hot potato and groans. 

 

“I’m so full,” he rubs his belly. 

 

Namjoon joins him, more gracefully, “You gonna nap?” 

 

Seokjin throws his arm over his eyes and hums in agreement. 

 

And suddenly the sun is gone and Namjoon is pressing his entire body’s weight onto Seokjin’s stomach. 

 

He’s grinning down at Seokjin.

 

“Namjoon, they’re gonna find your body in this field if you don’t get off,” he shoves him. 

 

The other man just laughs and Seokjin watches how the sun surrounds him, and how dark his skin looks in contrast to the halo around him. The tips of his hair look like burnt sugar. 

 

“We can play a game?” He suggests. 

 

“What? You brought Monopoly too?” Seokjin laughs. 

 

Namjoon sits up and straddles Seokjin’s hips, “ Well -” 

 

“Namjoon-” 

 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he adjusts himself on Seokjin’s lap and settles. 

 

“Are you comfortable?” Seokjin asks sarcastically. 

 

Namjoon grins down at him and nods. 

 

“We could cloud-watch?” Seokjin suggests. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“Cloud-watch,” he repeats, “like when we were small.” 

 

Namjoon shifts off of him and comes to lie beside him, “I haven’t done this in ages.” 

 

“Yeah, too much time at Victoria’s Secret,” Seokjin snorts. 

 

Namjoon elbows his side, “Fine, I’ll stop wearing ‘em,” he chirps. 

 

Seokjin raises himself on his elbow, “Wha- No .”

 

“Mmm, you don’t seem to like it.” Namjoon shrugs and squints at the sky. 

 

“I- I didn’t say that .”

 

Namjoon waves him off, “The princess thing too-” 

 

“ What -” 

 

“Yeah, you said it was weird, right?”

 

“Hey, hey - I, I- I wan-” the words get caught in his throat and he looks at Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon, who is mischievously smiling up at him. 

 

Seokjin shoves his shoulder, “You’re an ass,” he drops himself flat on his back and groans. 

 

Namjoon snickers next to him, “Do you even like it?” 

 

Seokjin opens one eye to look at him, “What?” 

 

“Being called ‘princess’,” he sniffs. 

 

Seokjin’s mouth opens but his voice falters, “I- well, I mean-” 

 

“I can stop,” Namjoon smiles softly. 

 

“No, No- I like it,” he rushes out, “you can call me - that ,” he gulps. 

 

“You sure? It’s not a problem,” he wheedles. 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes and looks up to the sky, “Yeah,” he sighs. 

 

“You sassin’ me?” he feels a poke at his ribs. 

 

“If I am?” 

 

“Mmm,” Namjoon shifts a little, “might have to have a think about that.” 

 

Seokjin turns his head, “No consequences?” 

 

Namjoon laughs and Seokjin watches him with an unconscious smile on his face.

 

And he wants to say something. 

 

And he doesn’t know what that something is. 

 

But he really wants to say it. 

 

He wishes he knew what he wanted to say. 

 

I don’t even have the power to interpret that .

 

Good, be quiet. We can watch Namjoonie. 

 

You’re right .

 

He settles on the blanket and they try to make sense of the wayward clouds that seem to be moving too fast. Seokjin’s stomach eases some with the laughing. 

 

Seokjin is pointing to a blob that vaguely resembles a bird when he feels Namjoon’s eyes on him. 

 

He turns his head, “What?” 

 

Namjoon doesn’t turn away as expected, instead he looks at Seokjin harder .

 

Seokjin’s eyes run over his face, trying to figure out the other man’s thoughts. 

 

“You’re really beautiful.” Namjoon tells him after a moment. 

 

Seokjin feels a laugh bubble out of him, his chest explodes with something warm. 

 

“Shut up,” he turns back to the sky. 

 

“What? You think I’m lying?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What? Namjoon-“

 

“I’m being serious,” he tells him, “you are beautiful,” 

 

He tilts his head forward to steal a chaste kiss from Namjoon, but the man has other plans. 

 

Namjoon immediately slides his hand behind Seokjin’s head, deepening the kiss. Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to allow him in, instead he draws himself closer and feels Namjoon’s body slowly lift above his own, until he’s flat on his back. 

 

The other man is slowly grinding his hips into Seokjin’s, and drawing out all the whimpers with his tongue. 

 

Suddenly, Namjoon breaks the kiss and halts all movement, “You okay with this?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

“Not like we can do much, I didn’t come prepared,” he laughs. 

 

Namjoon scrunches his nose, “You don’t think I can do much without my dick?” 

 

Seokjin laughs, “No, no- I just really,” he pauses, “I’ve been waiting all week for you, can we go home?” 

 

Namjoon reaches back and pulls out his wallet. 

 

Seokjin squints at him in the sunlight as he pulls back and digs through the folds. He leans against Seokjin’s thighs.

 

He pulls out a foil packet and another smaller on. 

 

“Is that a condom?” 

 

“ No , Jin, they’re my Pokémon Tazz Tokens, I thought now would be a good time to show you,” Namjoon pulls his lips. 

 

Seokjin frowns. 

 

“First rule of Boy Scouts: Always be prepared!” Namjoon announces proudly. 

 

“You weren’t a Boy Scout,” he snorts. 

 

“I could have been-“ 

 

“Namjoon, could you fight a bear?” 

 

“ What?” Namjoon laughs, “what do you- it doesn’t matter.” He cuts himself off with a shake of his head.

 

“Are you comfortable?” 

 

“Well, my neck’s a litt-“ 

 

“ Hyung,” 

 

“I haven’t really done anything like this,” he admits. But the excitement outweighs his fear of a spider crawling on his dick. 

 

Why the fuck would you say that? 

 

We’re out in the wild, it could happen. 

 

Namjoon nods seriously, “We can go home if you’re more-“ 

 

“No- no, ” Seokjin shakes his head. 

 

“You sure?” 

 

Seokjin nods with a grin. 

 

Namjoon picks up the little lube pack from his stomach and places it beside them. He leans down and kisses Seokjin hard . 

 

He ends up panting into the kiss, allowing Namjoon to move down his neck, “May I?”

 

Seokjin nods, heart beating ridiculously fast.

He never thought public sex would ever be something he would be into, but the wind is light and the field is is open and when Namjoon pulls his t-shirt off, he’s exposed. 

 

And he feels excited. 

 

Namjoon looks down at him, and Seokjin can feel his dick pulse, “Good?” 

 

Seokjin smiles up at him, “Good.” 

 

Namjoon smiles, and it’s not predatory, which he usually reserved for such occasions. So the smile throws him off and his breath hitches in his throat.

 

Namjoon leans down to his stomach to place a kiss, “ Did you think about me while I was gone?” He shifts further down. 

 

Seokjin runs his hands through his hair, “ yeah ,” he breathes. 

 

Namjoon hums against his hip bones and unbuttons his pants. Seokjin's breaths turn into pants when Namjoon slowly lowers his jeans, letting his dick out in broad daylight. 

 

It feels forbidden. And Seokjin loves it, and God, he’s been waiting for Namjoon the whole week. 

 

And not just his hands. Just him .

His voice. His words. The way his eyes grow when he takes a bite from his food. The way he mumbles nonsense in his sleep. The way he holds Seokjin in his sleep, like it’s second nature. 

 

God, he fucking missed him.

 

Namjoon takes him into his fist and slowly strokes him, “I missed you,” he leans forward to kiss him. 

 

Seokjin laughs, and wonders if Namjoon’s train of thought was similar. 

 

“What?” Namjoon pulls back. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “I missed you, too,” he says out loud. And his heart almost pounds out of his chest. 

 

Namjoon smiles down at him and Seokjin has never been more proud of himself. He looks so fucking happy. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

Seokjin grins and nods. 

 

Namjoon releases a little more weight onto Seokjin and continues stroking him slowly. 

 

“What’d you miss?” 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “My Namjoonie,” he scrunches his nose with a small smile. 

 

Namjoon chuckles silently, “Yours?” 

 

Seokjin nods, “Mine,” he affirms. 

 

Namjoon leans forward and twists his hand in such a way that Seokjin arches his back up and moans out loud. 

 

He pecks Seokjin on the side of the mouth and mutters something eerily similar to “ yours ”. But he’s too far gone to even process it because Namjoon is twisting his hand around him and Seokjin is reduced to nothing more than neediness. 

 

He pulls back to tear open the small packet of lubricant- Seokjin’s eyes widen. 

 

“We’re gonna do this, huh?” 

 

Namjoon pauses in the middle of squeezing the liquid onto his hand, “We don’t have to-“ he looks to Seokjin with wide eyes. 

 

“No, I want to,” he quickly assured him, “please.” 

 

“Tell me if you’re not feeling it or if you get uncomfortable, okay?” 

 

Seokjin nods. He puts his head down, flat on the blanket when he feels Namjoon circle his rim. 

 

“You know what’ll make this easier?” Seokjin lifts his head at the question. 

 

Namjoon is already balling up Seokjin’s pants and shirt, “Lift,” he instructs. Seokjin pulls up his hips and Namjoon places the jeans under his lower back for support and the shirt as a make-shift pillow beneath his head.

 

“Better?” He asks. 

 

Seokjin nods, “Better.” 

 

Namjoon reapplies the lube and Seokjin hums when he feels Namjoon slide in the the first finger with a hiss. 

 

“You douched?” He asks out of the blue. Seokjin’s eyes pop open and he nods. 

 

Namjoon smiles, and slowly works in a second finger, “ So good for me, princess, ” and Seokjin moans wantonly. 

 

Namjoon can’t seem to get enough of his mouth today, because he’s back at kissing Seokjin, and it’s almost desperate. 

 

And he’s fucking two fingers into Seokjin, trying to inch in a third. 

 

The prep work is relatively quick, and Seokjin lifts himself on his elbows, “I’m ready, Namjoon, c’mon.” 

 

Which takes a lot for him to say. They’ve had to talk about Seokjin falling into a sub-headspace far too easily. He’s been trying to be more conscious of it because he doesn’t want to be a burden to Namjoon with all the aftereffects. But Namjoon works with him, he never hesitates to give him what he needs, he encourages Seokjin.

 

And? 

 

I feel safe with him.

 

Namjoon removes his fingers, and tears open the condom packet. Seokjin helps unbuckle his pants in the meanwhile and grabs the condom to roll it on. Namjoon’s cock is aching and wet when he gives it a few firm strokes.

 

They’ve done this more than a few times by now, so it isn’t weird. Usually Seokjin prefers being on his stomach before Namjoon; they haven’t had face-to-face sex since Namjoon’s birthday. They also have stocked up on condoms to avoid whatever happened that night. Seokjin thought these things gave him control over the intimacy. 

 

I thought -

 

Maybe you should stop having those. 

 

What? 

 

Thoughts.

 

 What’s weird is that he’s getting a tan on his inner thigh just before he has sex. 

 

It’s a good kind of weird though.

 

Namjoon spreads his legs further apart, and Seokjin can feel the lube cooling as he leans back on his elbows.

 

Namjoon squeezes the remaining contents of the lubricant onto his fingers. Seokjin reaches down to stroke himself at leisure, watching Namjoon adjust his angle. 

 

“Havin’ fun?” He asks. 

 

Seokjin smiles, “Mhm,” his left hand comes up to his stomach, sliding up. 

 

“ Ready, baby? ” Namjoon asks. 

 

Seokjin parts his legs in invitation, “C’mon,” he teases. 

 

Namjoon lines up and starts pressing himself into Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the way Namjoon feels in him. It always blows him out of the water the way it never feels like too much, or like he needs to do something extra. It’s always just right and so full. 

 

“ Shit, fuck, fuck.” Namjoon shuts his eyes trying to adjust.

 

“Didn’t you play with yourself while I was gone?” 

 

Seokjin grins and shakes his head, “Last I came was Monday night,” and Namjoon moans at that. 

 

He hooks Seokjin’s right leg over his shoulder and leans down to kiss him, “ Why are you, ” he rolls his hips, “ so perfect?” He punctuates the last words with a deep thrust. 

 

“Namjoon, yeah,” Seokjin breathes out. Namjoon’s shirt seems to be too heavy of an obstacle between them, so Seokjin makes quick work of pulling it over his head mid-stroke. 

 

He hooks his arms around Namjoon’s neck and draws him closer, not verbally asking for what he wants. 

 

But Namjoon gets with the program quickly and drops Seokjin’s leg and moves against his chest, slowly adjusting the rhythm.

 

“ Fuck - like that, ” Seokjin tries to match Namjoon’s pace, pushing his hips up to meet him, “ deeper, please ,” he pants into his neck.

 

Namjoon obliges him, grunting something deep into his clavicle. 

 

Seokjin pulls his head closer, breathing in the scent of his hair as Namjoon continues to pound into him. 

 

And then Namjoon lifts his head and halts his movements, “Are you sniffing me?” 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen, and he quickly shakes his head, “No-“ 

 

But Namjoon is already laughing and Seokjin is glowing bright red beneath the sun. 

 

“Sorry, sorry,” he snickers and leans down to peck Seokjin on the nose.

 

“Shut up-“ 

 

“You’re so pretty when you blush,”

 

“I don’t blush-“

 

Namjoon hums and pushes himself slowly, Seokjin hisses at the drag. 

 

“Can I make you blush then?”  

 

“You’re so- oh- cheesy,” he stumbles around his words when Namjoon bites into the skin of his neck.

 

Namjoon laughs, “Mmm,” and leans in to kiss Seokjin. 

 

“ Fuck, you’re gorgeous, ” he mutters between their mouths. 

 

It’s sort of weird moaning out in the open, but Namjoon encourages him and ploughs into him - and Seokjin honestly can’t control what comes out of his mouth at this point. 

 

He feels the rhythm starting to break and it becomes erratic. Namjoon is close-

 

“ Fuck, Jin, fuc-“ and he drops his head into Seokjin’s neck, and he feels Namjoon’s body shake. 

 

Seokjin strokes his hair through his release, muttering unintelligible words into his hair and feeling Namjoon pulse inside of him. 

 

Seokjin thought Namjoon would just collapse on top of him. Instead he lifts himself and pulls out of Seokjin so abruptly that he aches at the absence. 

 

“Namjoon?” 

 

But Namjoon is tying up the condom and throwing it on the side of the blanket. He quickly buttons his jeans and crawls over Seokjin. 

 

Who is butt-naked in the middle of some field. 

 

Y’all took the term raw-dogging too literally. 

 

What? 

 

We’re out in the open, man. The ancestors can see your butthole. 

 

WHAT-

 

Namjoon is kissing him with the same heat that he did when they started and Seokjin doesn’t respond for a whole five seconds. Namjoon leaves small pecks trailing from his lips down to his torso. 

 

And when Namjoon takes Seokjin in his mouth, he swears he sees god for a brief second in one of the clouds. 

 

Not god - 

 

Why? 

 

I don’t know… isn’t it blasphemous? You’re having gay sex in public, leave the lord out of this. 

 

Namjoon somehow figured out exactly what Seokjin likes over the course of their exploration. He sucks him down and gives him enough pressure in all the right spots. 

 

However, it takes Namjoon slipping two fingers into his ass and brushing his prostate over and over to have Seokjin explode.

 

He thinks he might be religious, because Jesus Christ on a cracker - relief has never felt this good.

 

“ Namjoon- Namjoon, Namjoon- Fuck fuck fuck-“ he repeats, shutting his eyes and sobbing to the sky. 

 

“ That’s it, baby, ” Namjoon assures him, “ you taste so good,” he crawls up to meet Seokjin. 

 

He releases the grip on Namjoon’s hair while the other man chuckles and kisses Seokjin’s cheeks sweetly. His hands are petting his hair when Seokjin resurfaces.

 

“You sound so pretty,” Namjoon tells him and kisses him softly. 

 

“What?” Seokjin tries to catch up. 

 

Namjoon chuckles, “You make the prettiest sounds when I’m fucking you,” Namjoon repeats. 

 

Seokjin’s breath hitches and he laughs, “Yeah?” 

 

Namjoon nods and rubs Seokjin’s bottom lip with his thumb, “I love the sounds you make,” he tells him quietly. 

 

Namjoon looks like he’s drinking Seokjin in. His eyes are boring into his and Seokjin can’t seem to look away. 

 

“ You’re ruining me ,” Namjoon whispers so faintly against his mouth before kissing him. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t want to think about how much those words affect him, but they do. And he feels them just as intensely. 

 

Namjoon is ruining him for anyone else. And it should scare him. 

 

God, he should be packing up and out the door before shit hits the fan. 

 

But he stays put and he allows Namjoon to kiss him. 

“ NAMJOON?!” They quickly break apart and catch sight of a tiny figure waving at them. 

 

Namjoon lifts himself and waves to the figure. 

 

Seokjin’s eyes bug out of his head - his briefs are around his fucking ankles.

 

Is this punishment? 

 

Yes. Lmao. 

 

Namjoon turns to him and helps Seokjin pull up his pants, while trying to pull his shirt over his head. It’s a rush and Seokjin watches the daunting figure grow bigger as they approach. 

 

He manages to put his shirt on and stand up by the time they’re close enough to see. 

 

They don’t look familiar. 

 

Namjoon runs to meet the figure, and Seokjin stands on the blanket awkwardly. 

 

“It’s so good to see you,” Namjoon gushes. 

 

The person hangs on Namjoon’s arm and Seokjin watches their skirt sway in the slight breeze. It’s bright red and it matches their hair. 

 

“I knew I recognized that terrible car,” they smile as bright as the afternoon sun, “your licence plate is still lopsided,” they tell Namjoon.

 

“We were actually talking about you earlier,” Namjoon tells them. 

 

“Jin-hyung, this is my friend, Charlie,” Seokjin steps forward to greet them, “Charlie, this is my boyfriend, Jin,” and Seokjin’s whole stomach does a somersault at the phrasing.

 

Charlie. This is Charlie. This is Namjoon’s ex. Holy shit. 

 

“Jin? As in Seokjin?” Charlie asks and Seokjin looks at Namjoon with wide-eyes. 

 

Namjoon avoids him entirely and just nods with a shy smile. 

 

Charlie lifts a brow and tries to fight with a smile on their face, but Seokjin sees it. They pull him into a hug, “It’s nice to finally meet you!” 

 

Seokjin smiles brightly, “Namjoon said you showed him this place,” Charlie bounces on their heels and nods. 

 

“I come here as often as I can, it’s very peaceful in these parts,” Charlie smiles brightly.

 

Then they look too closely and frown, “Is your shirt upside down?”

 

Seokjin looks down and his arms immediately come up to the inseams of his shirt. 

 

He laughs awkwardly, “I didn’t notice,” he shrugs. 

 

He’s pretty sure Charlie knows exactly what happened. Because they’re smiling at Namjoon as he tries to diverge the conversation. 

 

And Seokjin wonders how things ended between them.

 

“You look happy, Charls,” he taps their shoulder.

 

Charlie reaches a kind hand out and places it on Namjoon’s left shoulder, so they aren’t blocking Seokjin out, “You look like you’re doing well too, my friend,” Namjoon misses the way Charlie glances over at Seokjin with a soft smile, because he ducks his head. 

 

“I’m good, I’m good,” he brushes the back of his hair and leans more into Seokjin.

 

Charlie hums suspiciously, “I’m sure you are,” they wiggle their eyebrows. Seokjin blushes at that. 

 

Seokjin notices a lull, so, “Are you meeting someone?” 

 

Charlie perks up at that, “No, but I do have a date,” they grin. 

 

Seokjin frowns. 

 

“I haven’t had any me-time in the past month,” they throw their hands up, “you know with every-fuckin’-planet being in retrograde,” they laugh, “so I’m takin’ myself out on a date.” 

 

Seokjin returns their smile. It’s so genuine and Seokjin doesn’t feel so hostile about the ambush. 

It’s not long before Charlie tells them that they’re hungry and they need to go in. Charlie’s eyes flit down to the blanket before winking at Seokjin, “Have fun.” And they walk away like a dream, red skirt billowing around them. 

 

Seokjin lets out a big huff of breath once he sees Charlie enter the cottage. 

 

Namjoon laughs and Seokjin shoves his shoulder, “It’s not funny!” But it doesn’t matter because Namjoon drops himself onto the blanket, giggling. 

 

Seokjin plops down beside him, “Shut up,” he groans. 

 

He takes off his shirt and flips it to the right side. 

 

“Mmmm,” Namjoon hums and slides his hand up Seokjin’s shirt, “how do you feel now?” 

 

Seokjin’s brows crease, “What?” 

 

He just leaves his hand flat on Seokjin’s stomach, “I mean, since you’re an exhibitionist and all-” 

 

“ Roach-” Namjoon cuts him off with a laugh. 

 

He presses his face into Seokjin’s chest and his hand stays beneath his shirt. It wraps around his waist

 

Namjoon mutters something in his chest that sounds suspiciously like, “can’t we stay like this forever.” Seokjin just ruffles his hair and allows himself to be with Namjoon. 

 

“By the way,” Seokjin starts, “what did you tell Charlie about me?” he continues when Namjoon hums.

 

Namjoon lifts his head, “Oh -” he grunts as he sits up, “nothing much, you were, uh- my friend in school and yeah,” he shrugs. 

 

“ Namjoon.”

 

Namjoon sighs and smacks his lips, “We broke up because I wasn’t in the right place - emotionally,” he says. 

 

“Why?” Seokjin digs. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Remember my mom told you about the bearded dragon?”

 

Seokjin hums, “Yeah.” 

 

“They came home with me,” Namjoon says and fiddles with the edge of the blanket, “and I mean, my mom wasn’t really into them because of the bearded dragon, firstly,” he laughs. 

 

“Secondly, she kind of threw all hope out of the window when Charlie started asking about the boy in the pictures all over my house,” he shakes his head with a smile. 

 

“What?” 

 

“ You ,” Namjoon rolls his eyes, “and I didn’t want to lie and my mom has no filter-” 

 

“So?”

 

“Jin-hyung, it took me years to move on.” 

 

Seokjin gulps and looks down at the blanket, “So-” he starts but he can’t find the words. 

 

“Mmm?” 

 

“Why’d you agree to this?” he mumbles.

 

Namjoon shrugs and turns to him fully, “What happened between us happened, but you’re my friend first, and you needed my help-” 

 

“But we weren’t even talking-” 

 

“Your dad and I knew about the production and I knew that’s where you wanted to be-” 

 

“So you just helped someone who was an asshole to you for a decade?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Friend first,” he shrugs, “everything else after,” he says simply.

 

There’s a brief pause. 

 

“And plus- you are a royal pain in the ass when something doesn’t go your way,” he laughs.

 

He rolls his eyes and the tips of his ears burn, “So that’s why you call me ‘princess’,” he snorts. 

 

Namjoon laughs, “Nah.” 

 

“Why then?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “I-” he stops himself short. 

 

Seokjin waits. 

 

Namjoon glances at the cottage and then back at him.

 

“I- I don’t think I’ve been sexually involved with someone that I wasn’t in a relationship with, so it’s a little difficult to explain,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin feels the smile trying to fall to the ground beneath them, but he holds it up and nods. The warm feeling evaporates out of him.

 

“I don’t know - it’s like, an affectionate term, I guess,” and Seokjin sees the flush that burns his neck, right up to his cheeks. 

 

Seokjin reaches up between them to pinch a cheek. 

 

Namjoon clicks his tongue and smacks his hand away, “Stop it-” 

 

“Then stop lying,” Seokjin releases his cheek with a laugh. 

 

“I’m not lying, hyung,” Namjoon grumbles. 

 

Seokjin waits. 

 

“I’m not lying!”

 

“Okay, then what are you not saying?”

 

Namjoon huffs and sits up, “You’re annoying,” he mumbles. 

 

Seokjin sits up and bumps his shoulder, “Mmm.” 

 

“I like it,” Namjoon shrugs, “it’s like, sweet?” 

 

“Sweet?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs. 

 

“ Okay ,” he bumps into Namjoon’s shoulder. He doesn’t feel like he’s gotten an answer but he doesn’t want to push Namjoon if he’s uncomfortable either. 

 

He wants to change the weird feeling surrounding them. 

 

“I like what you did today -” he blurts, “with my neck,” he cringes as soon as the words leave him. 

 

Any other subject. You could have went with anything else - 

 

I wanted to divert the conversation!? 

 

To an even worse route? 

 

I’m trying my best. 

 

Hai . 

 

Namjoon turns to him in surprise, “Oh- I, uh, that’s n-nice,” he stutters. 

 

Seokjin frowns. 

 

Is he nervous?

 

He don’t fuck like he’s nervous. 

 

That’s what I’m sayin-

 

“Hyung?” 

 

Seokjin looks at him, “Yeah?” 

 

Namjoon turns to him, “Sorry,” he smiles painfully. 

 

“About?” 

 

“I - I don’t know how to do this,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

He frowns, “What?” 

 

“I don’t know where the boundary is,” he turns away. 

 

Seokjin is about to speak when his phone starts ringing. He pulls it out and Namjoon looks at him quizzically.

 

“You changed your ringtone?” Seokjin nods and answers the call. 

 

“Dad?” 

 

“Yes, hi-” he clears his throat. 

 

“Hi?” 

 

“About dinner,” he gets straight to the point, “are you boys comfortable for tomorrow night?” Seokjin frowns even harder. 

 

“Oh, you were serious .” 

 

“Yes,” his father tells him, “how many places should I tell Martha to set?” 

 

“I - uh,” he looks at Namjoon who nods up in question, “I’ll let you know later today?” 

 

“Alright.” 

 

“Okay,” he grimaces. 

 

“Bye.” And the line goes dead. 

 

Seokjin looks down at the screen, “What the fuck?” 

 

“What happened?”

 

“My dad wants us over for dinner tomorrow.” 

 

“Oh? That’s good,” Namjoon grins. 

 

“It’s weird,” 

 

“Nah, maybe he’s just trying to reach out,” Namjoon shrugs. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “He asked me how many places he should set,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

“And? You wanna invite Yoongs and them?” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “He never liked any of my friends,” he says, “well, except you.” 

 

Namjoon waggles his brows, “It’s my shoulder-to-hip -” Seokjin cuts him off by placing a finger in front of his mouth. 

 

Namjoon tries to bite his finger and Seokjin flicks him on the nose before flopping back on the blanket. 

 

He sighs deeply. 

 

“Yoongi wants to go to Cuba,” Seokjin says. 

 

“What?” Namjoon snorts. 

 

Seokjin turns his head, “Yoongi wants to go to Cuba,” he repeats. 

 

“Why?” 

 

“Something about cigars, I don’t know,” he shrugs and looks at the sky. 

 

Namjoon laughs, “His lungs are fucked.” 

 

“That’s what I told him!” Seokjin smiles. 

 

After a moment, “We should also go,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

“You wanna go?” 

 

“I’ve never been, it could be fun,” Namjoon says. 

 

“Let’s survive tomorrow and if we make it out, we can talk about Cuba,” Seokjin sighs. 

 

Namjoon’s hand engulfs his where it lay on his stomach, “I think we will,” Namjoon smiles at him and squeezes his fingers. 

Chapter 19: In Which Seokjin Says Yes

 

After a terribly long call with Yoongi and his excuses, they finally settle the wedding plans and convince him to come to dinner tonight. 

 

He tried to weasel his way out of it with claims of a headache (“You can’t pre-plan your headaches in advance, hyung,” Namjoon told him). 

 

Namjoon took his mind off of things pretty easily on Friday night.

 

But Yoongi’s coming and Seokjin can breathe a little easier, well, as easy as one can with a stupid tie.

 

They’re driving to his father’s estate and Seokjin handed over the keys to Namjoon with no hesitation. If he drove, they would end up on the other end of the country.

 

Yoongi and Hoseok are meeting them there. 

 

Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk have a cousin’s birthday party this afternoon. Jimin’s family probably won’t let them leave until Monday morning. 

 

Namjoon tucked the small jade stone into his shirt pocket and kissed him so tenderly that Seokjin felt like he was going to cry. 

 

“I know you’re stressing about this,” Namjoon turns to him as they turn into the driveway, “but if you keep fiddling with your pocket, everyone’s gonna think you have itchy nipples,” he laughs. 

 

Seokjin’s hands stop trying to play with the smooth stone in his pocket and sets his hands on his lap, “I don’t have itchy nipples,” he pouts as Namjoon parks the car. 

 

“It’s a wonder since you use such perfumey lotion,” Namjoon snorts. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “I like it.” 

 

Namjoon shuts the engine off and grins at Seokjin, “Me too.” He quickly kisses Seokjin before jumping out.

 

Seokjin hears Yoongi’s SUV park beside them before looking at it. The gravel crunches satisfyingly against the tires. 

 

They all get out and Seokjin looks at the stiff formal shirt Hoseok is wearing, “Nice shirt,” he points out. 

 

Hoseok sticks out his tongue, “You look like you’re going to a funeral,” he snaps. 

 

“Yeah, mine ,” he mumbles as Namjoon rounds them closer to the door. 

 

Yoongi grumbles, “Why do we have to be here, again?” 

 

“Emotional support?” Namjoon shrugs as he pushes open the huge doors. 

 

Hoseok moves his shoulders, trying to wriggle the collar further away from his neck, “My emotions don’t feel very supported right now.” 

 

“Yeah, ‘cause this is the first time you’ve worn underwear since the nineties,” Seokjin shoots back. 

 

“Hey-”

 

“At least something is being supported,” Seokjin adds.

 

Yoongi snorts and Namjoon shoots them a look to quieten down as he shuts the door behind them. 

 

The ceilings are as high as ever, and Seokjin internally laughs at how tiny he still feels in this space.

 

“Boys!” His father’s voice sounds from the stairwell. 

 

They all turn and bow in greeting, “It’s been a while, Yoongi,” he nods, “Hoseok.” He steps forward to hug them.

 

What the in the fuck is happening? 

 

Yoongi must be thinking the same because when his dad hugs Namjoon, he looks at Seokjin for answers with wide eyes. 

 

“Son!” His father pulls him into a hug and Seokjin awkwardly tries to hug him back. 

 

When he is released he looks at his father with a pained smile, “Dad,” he says.

 

His father claps his hands together, “Hope you’re all hungry!” He turns on his heel and leaves them in the foyer. 

 

Everyone is frozen for a moment. 

 

Yoongi is the first to speak up, “Is he dying ?” he whispers. 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “Oh god-” 

 

“You really dressed for a funeral, hyung-” Hoseok panics. 

 

Yoongi approaches Seokjin and wraps him in a tight hug, “Sorry, Hyung,” he tells him gravely.

 

Shit- does he need to write a eulogy? He barely knows anything about his father- 

 

“My condolences, Hyung,” Hoseok joins the hug.

 

“No one is dying!” Namjoon scolds them quietly, “Come on, he’s probably waiting,” he walks forward towards the dining room. 

 

Yoongi huffs and drags his feet behind all of them. 

 

They’re seated and Seokjin takes the opportunity to take in the moonlight dusting over the backyard through the giant arched-windows. 

 

Martha hovers over Yoongi and Hoseok, she pulls them out of their seats to see how tall they’ve grown since she last saw them. It’s a long while before the first course is served. 

 

It’s strange though, instead of telling Martha to settle down and telling Hoseok to stop entertaining her story-telling antics - his father sits back and watches them with a small smile on his face. 

 

A smile. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know when last he saw his father show any sort of emotion. 

 

God, maybe he is dying ?

 

You think we’ll get the estate? 

 

Jesus fuck, way to be morbid. 

 

Namjoon wanted a big yard -

 

God, shut up. 

 

Dinner is… normal. They all talk over one another and share unnecessary stories and his father listens intently, even adding in experiences of his own. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t even eat much and Namjoon keeps asking him if he’s okay. He even moves his chair to sit flush against Seokjin, a hand sitting like a comfort on his thigh.

 

It’s between a stupid dad joke and Yoongi laughing, Seokjin just blurts out, “Are you dying?” 

 

Hoseok looks up and his eyes are as wide as saucers, “Wha-” 

 

Yoongi drops his gaze and sucks his lips in while Namjoon looks at him like he just escaped the closest psychiatric wing.

 

His father frowns at him and then breaks out into an abrupt laugh. 

 

Seokjin sits there and he can see Hoseok looking back and forth between them, feigning a laugh. Namjoon joins it with a strained laugh. 

 

“No,” his father says, “I mean, we all are - but no,” he tells them. 

 

Seokjin gulps and looks down to the melting ice-cream. 

 

Now you wanna eat? After you fucked up the vibe? 

 

What fucking vibe? My father has no ‘vibes’. 

 

You have no vibes, bro - look at Yoongi, he’s so uncomfortable. 

 

He’s always uncomfortable, this isn’t news. 

 

The conversation picks up slightly and Seokjin gulps down his thoughts and tries to interact with the rest of the table. 

 

He doesn’t even know what they’re talking about but he hums and laughs when he sees everyone laughing. 

 

When they move to the living room, Martha serves them fresh coffee and Namjoon tells him to take it easy or he’s going to have trouble sleeping. 

 

There’s a pause in the conversation between the four men (since Seokjin had been trying to keep up and listen). His father stands and claps his hands, “Now, boys,” he begins, “I hope you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to Seokjin for a moment.” Seokjin’s eyes widen. 

 

“Me?” He asks dumbly. 

 

“No, no, we’ll be here,” Hoseok assures him with a wave of his hands.

 

His father nods towards the terrace that leads to the backyard and leads Seokjin into the dimly lit garden. 

 

It’s dim but the flowers are radiant beneath the moonlight and the light sensors flood the green with a bright glow. 

 

Seokjin isn’t really a lover of flowers, but the petunias were his favourite. They were dark, almost black and he used to imagine they’d play music for him when he’d lay in the grass, far from the house. 

 

They walk a little further, the grass crunches a little beneath his feet and he can smell the soil and the sharp floral aroma drifting around them. 

 

“Dad?” 

 

“Give me a moment,” his father stops walking. 

 

He turns to Seokjin and looks at him. 

 

He looks unsure but Seokjin doesn’t really know what that looks like on his father.

 

“I had my doubts about this being real,” his father tells him. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What?” 

 

“You and Namjoon,” he says, “your relationship.” 

 

Seokjin gulps, “Wh-” 

 

“I thought it was a ploy to get me off your case about the production in April-” 

 

“Wai-What? How do you know about that!?” 

 

His father laughs, “Seokjin, I know what my son is up to,” and Seokjin’s ears heat up. 

 

“But, I see now,” he hears his father swallow, “that I was wrong.” 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know what to say. So he doesn’t try. 

 

Namjung glances over to the bed of flowers, “Your mother loved tending to this garden,” he smiles at the small petals bouncing in the slight breeze. 

 

Seokjin looks at it, “I didn’t know that,” he mumbles. 

 

“You wouldn’t, I didn’t give you much, did I?” His father says and it sounds mournful. 

 

He shakes his head and his father ‘tssks’. 

 

And then he looks down and smiles, “Do you know how we met?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “No,” he laughs. They didn’t speak about much. Let alone his mother. 

 

“My father kicked me out around Christmas time,” his father laughs, “I was eighteen; had six dollars in my pocket and a good friend,” he smiles at the flowers. 

 

Seokjin also packed up and left once he turned eighteen. Figures.

 

Seokjin waits for him. 

 

“Yoon-suh was independent pretty early on, she didn’t like the way her family was and so she just left,” he says, “I was never that brave.” 

 

“I didn’t know you knew Namjoon’s mom before us,” his father snorts at this. 

 

“You think I’d let you go to just anyone’s house?” He laughs, “She and Namjoon’s father left America for a few years when Namjoon was born.”

 

And Seokjin wants to retort with ‘You weren’t really present’ but then he thinks about what Yoon-suh said, and about Namjoon. 

 

“Anyway, Yoon-suh took me to a terrible disco,” he laughs, “and there was this woman, just giving it to the bartender,” he smiles at the memory. 

 

Seokjin is trying to process his father being in a club. 

 

“When I tried to tell her she dropped her purse, she turned to me and started screaming,” he laughs so hard that he has to pause. Seokjin thinks he sees moisture building in his father’s eyes. But it could just be a trick of the light. 

 

“Eventually she figured out that I was holding her purse and she went rabid,” he says, “she launched herself at me,” he sniffs. 

 

“Yoon-suh ended up pulling her off,” he huffs and his breath mists in front of his face, “I offered to buy her a drink,” 

 

“Yoon-suh?” 

 

“No,” he laughs, “she didn’t drink much when we were younger,” he says. 

 

Seokjin frowns and bursts out laughing, “That’s news since she literally drank us all under the table,” he tells his father. 

 

His father lifts a brow fondly, “Oh?” 

 

Seokjin smiles, “We couldn’t keep up on Namjoon’s birthday,” he says.

 

 “Always expect the unexpected with Yoon-suh,” he laughs. 

 

Seokjin nods, because it’s true. The woman is a hurricane. 

 

“But no, I offered to buy Jayoung a drink.” 

 

“Did she accept?” 

 

“No, but she did take to Yoon-suh,” he bends down to pluck a leaf off the ground, “I bought her a drink once she realised I wasn’t a threat,” he smiles at the leaf. 

 

“And?” 

 

“And she fought me every single day since,” he smiles, “like you, actually,” he looks at Seokjin. 

 

“I don’t fi-” 

 

“You both had the same temperment,” Namjung lets the leaf fall, “shoot first, ask questions later,” he grins and Seokjin isn’t sure he’s ever seen his father’s teeth before.  

 

“She was like me?” 

 

“Everything about you is a reflection of her, right down to the way you laugh,” Seokjin wants to ask when his father ever heard him laugh but he doesn’t want to disrupt the atmosphere. 

 

God, you really do fight for everything. 

 

Suddenly his father turns around to face Seokjin, and he takes a breath in.

 

“Look, I asked you boys to come over for dinner but I wanted to talk to you,” Namjung starts. 

 

Seokjin holds his fingers tight, preparing for whatever is about to hit him.

 

“I love you, Seokjin,” he says and Seokjin nearly topples over with the force that the words hit him with. 

 

Maybe I’m dreaming. Maybe I died last night and -

 

“And I am sorry that I haven’t been entirely present in your life,” he fiddles with the ring on his finger, “I thought - I thought that because your mother wasn’t around, I would do everything I could to give you the world and -” he pauses and Seokjin’s knuckles are tight in his hold. He needs to pinch Yoongi-

 

“I made myself just as scarce, I suppose,” he tells Seokjin, “I’m sorry.”

 

Seokjin wants to know what the fuck is going on -

 

“And you might be wondering where all this is coming from, and -” he pauses to take a breath, “well, after you told me about Namjoon, I suppose you both were more comfortable with being in public,

 

And he talks about you a lot, and it’s such simple things that I felt like I should have known.” 

 

Namjoon talks about him? What is he saying ?

 

He’s telling your father about how you taste with honey lube, Seokjin-

 

Shut the fuck up. 

 

Your father is out here, baring his soul to you and you’re worrying about Namjoon gossipping? 

 

Namjoon wouldn’t- 

 

Stay present you dense fucker- 

 

Hey, what happened to being nice?

 

You were crying, I felt bad, now listen to your dad before I make you cry. 

 

“I wanted to extend myself to you,” his father says, “so, forgive me if this all seems sudden.” 

 

Seokjin nods. And he nods. And he has no idea what to say. 

 

“I - uh,” his father starts and Seokjin waits. It seems his shock has dried the words in his throat. 

 

Namjung reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small leather pouch. It’s no more bigger than his thumb. 

 

“You know, we didn’t even have a wedding,” he looks down at the pouch, “we both had been estranged from our families,” Namjung says. 

 

“Her grandmother came to the registration office: she and Yoon-suh were our witnesses,” he sniffs. 

 

“I saved for months to give her this,” he hands the pouch over to Seokjin, “It was all I could give her,” Seokjin frowns and opens the small flap of the pouch. 

 

The tears involuntarily spring to his eyes when he pulls out the simple silver band from the pouch. He looks at it. 

 

He looks at it. 

 

And - 

 

“It’s not what you expected?” 

 

Seokjin jumps at his father’s voice, and he shakes his head. 

 

His father laughs softly, “She didn’t want another band,” he tells him, “she said it was everything we had and we were willing to give it to one another,” his father looks skyward and presses his lips together. Probably willing himself not to cry. 

 

Seokjin looks down to his palm and takes the band in. 

 

He didn’t know much about anything. His family, his mom, his father. 

 

And now he’s cradling their love in a shaky hand. 

 

“It’s entirely your own choice, but I thought you could give it to Namjoon,” and Seokjin feels something in his chest collapse. 

 

Namjung slides the ring off his finger, and Seokjin can see exactly where it sat all these years, even without the band. 

 

“I’m not sure what you had planned,” he hands over his wedding band, “but these are yours, so you can do what you want with them.” 

 

He thinks about what Namjoon had told him yesterday, that he doesn’t know where the boundary is. 

 

And right now, his father is handing over his mother’s ring so he can give it to Namjoon. 

 

Do I even know where the fucking boundary is? 

 

He’s just staring at the bands, hoping they’d offer him some sort of answer. But they just wink at him. 

 

“Dad, I can’t take these,” he lifts his head and watches his father’s face morph into a frown. 

 

“Do you love him?” 

 

“What- wh-” 

 

“Jin, do you love Namjoon?” 

 

And he’s been asked this before. He’s answered before. 

 

But right now. Under the moonlight and the nightsong of the garden, he looks at his father and feels the conflict trying to tear out of him. 

 

Because it’s different if he says it now. 

 

“Then you give it to him,” his father tells him with a nod of finality. 

 

Seokjin frowns, he hasn't said a word. 

 

“There aren’t many people that believe in those sort of things; soulmates and what-have-you, but I do know that Namjoon does,” Namjung chuckles, “and the way he talks about it, the more I listened, the more I found the sense in it - if I did believe in all of that, Seokjin, your mother would have been that for me,” he smiles. 

 

They’ve spoken about soulmates? 

 

Namjoon believes in soulmates?

 

“And if Namjoon is with you, I suppose that answers any conflict I’ve had about the both of you, so I am not handing over those rings lightly,” his father tells him.

 

“It’s very peculiar though, I never imagined that you two would get over whatever it is that separated you in the first place,” Namjung says, “but I’m glad you did.” 

 

Seokjin nods, not entirely processing what is being said. 

 

His father nods towards the house, “We should go back, but before we do-” he takes a brief pause, “can we do this?” 

 

Seokjin looks at his father in confusion. 

 

“This,” he gestures to the house, “talking,” he waves his hand between their bodies. 

 

And suddenly, he is standing in front of his mother’s shrine and his father is on his knees beside him. He can hear his dad cry. He’s speaking softly, so softly and Seokjin can’t make out the words. Maybe dad is praying. He doesn’t know what’s going on, but he has to wear this itchy suit. 

 

Ajumma said he looks really handsome. She brushed his hair while Namjoonie tried to button up his shirt this morning. Namjoonie cried the whole night, so Seokjin is terribly tired. 

 

He reaches down and tries to hold dad’s hand. His dad must get a fright because he shoots up really fast. But then he looks at Seokjin and he starts crying more. 

 

He tries to apologise, he didn’t mean to make dad cry. Seokjin fits his arms around his dad and squeezes and squeezes until his dad hugs him back. He kisses his dad and smiles when he kisses Seokjin’s hair. 

 

“Yes,” he nods.

 

—--------

 

The living room is alive with chatter when they step back in, Hoseok immediately asks Namjung his opinion about some dystopian themed soundtrack Yoongi had been working on. Yoongi goes bright red at the attention. 

 

Namjoon is on the other side of the room and Seokjin makes a beeline towards him and feels the weight of the rings, heavy, in his pants pocket. 

 

Namjoon turns to him and immediately opens his arms for Seokjin to tuck himself into. 

 

“You okay?”

 

Seokjin pulls back and looks at Namjoon. The rings feel like they’re burning his thigh. 

 

So he smiles, “Yeah.” 

 

Namjoon shifts his hands and pulls out a handkerchief from his back pocket. Seokjin laughs at him and pulls it from his hands. 

 

“You’re so old,” he snickers and dabs his eyes. 

 

Namjoon pokes his side in response, but when Seokjin looks at him - Namjoon has a soft smile on his face and his eyes are full of adoration. They even glimmer in the dim light of the living room. 

 

“I think I need a second,” Seokjin tells him. 

 

He just wants to breathe for a second before he comes back to everything. 

 

Namjoon takes his hand and leads him out of the living room and down the dark hallway. When he opens the door to his father’s office, Seokjin snickers. 

 

“We gonna steal brandy again?” he snickers. 

 

Namjoon clicks the door shut behind them and Seokjin doesn’t even know where the light switch is, so he waits for Namjoon. 

 

The light is yellow and warm when Namjoon flicks the switch. It hasn’t changed much from when Seokjin lived in this house. It’s strange, he doesn’t think he’s actually been in this room. 

 

Well, he hasn’t been in here for longer than it took them to grab a bottle from the cabinet and run. 

 

He lived in this house for eighteen years of his life and he doesn’t think he’s been in here for longer than five minutes. He wasn’t even curious back then, but now he wanders over to the desk and runs his fingers over it. 

 

He doesn’t think his father ever called him in here. 

 

“Hyung?” 

 

Seokjin turns at the sound of Namjoon’s voice. He’s standing at the door with hand at the back of his neck. 

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

 

Seokjin shakes his head and turns his back, “Nothing bad,” he assures the other man. 

 

“You sure? You were crying, hyung,” Namjoon presses. 

 

Seokjin chuckles, “Yeah.” 

 

He rounds the desk to look at the bookshelf. 

 

There’s a small silver frame on one of the shelves, it’s a picture of his mother and his father. They’re squashed together on a single couch and his father is laughing at something his mother is saying. 

 

He’s seen this picture before. He’s not sure where or when but it's definitely not new.

 

“She was pretty, like you,” Namjoon says at his back. 

 

Seokjin snorts and turns around, “Mmm,”

 

“I mean it.” 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes and smacks his chest. 

 

“What? You don’t believe me?” Namjoon lifts his chin.

 

Seokjin looks at Namjoon, “Wh-“ 

 

“You’re beautiful, Jin,” Namjoon cuts him off, his voice as gentle as the fingers beneath his chin. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know what to say for the second time this evening. His heart is trying to jump out of his chest. 

 

Which is stupid. They’ve had sex so many times now - so calling him ‘beautiful’ should not be a reactive sort of situation. Namjoon’s hands are nowhere near his dick. 

 

His heart, however, doesn’t know that. 

 

His heart doesn’t know much of anything these days. 

 

“ Namjoon ,” he sighs in defeat, and the rings in his pocket taunt him. 

 

He looks up into the other man’s eyes and - 

 

Fuck. 

 

How did we get here?

 

It’s that same feeling that encounters him. Like he wants to say something but he doesn’t know what. And it’s frustrating the ever-living- fuck out of him. 

 

Namjoon shifts slightly and something catches eye. It’s an old frame, and Seokjin knows what the back of it looks like. 

 

It’s on the right side of his father’s desk, and it’s the only thing with a noticeable height on the desk, aside from the computer monitor. 

 

He has seen the back of the frame countless - on the other side of the desk. 

 

It’s a picture of Seokjin. Two actually. In the bigger picture he couldn’t have been more than seven at the time, and he’s sitting on his father’s lap. The smaller picture tacked onto the corner of the frame is a smaller ID-sized picture. It’s from Seokjin’s college graduation. 

 

No, but that doesn’t make any sense - this picture frame has been on his desk for years.

 

This room that he spent countless hours in, working and apparently looking at him.

 

Why doesn’t it make any sense? The man just told you he’s been doing everything for you. 

 

Yeah, I was there. But-

 

It still doesn’t help? 

 

No. I’m still digesting this. 

 

He looks at Namjoon, “We should go back,” he mumbles and disconnects himself. 

 

He’s halfway to the door when, “Hyung? What’s going on?” 

 

Seokjin pastes a smile on his face, “Everyone is probably wondering where we went.” 

 

Seokjin opens the door, and walks to the living room, leaving Namjoon behind. 

 

The scent of some smokey bourbon wafting in the air and Seokjin wrinkles his nose. It smells like vomit and bad decisions.

 

Yoongi offers his boyfriend a fat finger of bourbon and Namjoon looks at him in question. Seokjin nods and Namjoon takes the glass. 

 

“There’s some lighter spirits in the kitchen, if you’d like, Jin,” Namjung tells him. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “I’m driving home,” he smiles. 

 

His father nods, “Okay, now - “ 

 

And that is how the evening runs away from them. 

 

Seokjin ends up driving Yoongi and Hoseok home. Staying over his place isn’t an option apparently because, “After last time, fuck no.” 

 

Which Seokjin understands. Namjoon laughs and leans a little too heavy into Seokjin. His father offers them to stay the night but they really didn’t want to, so they got on their way. Yoongi said he’ll pick up his car in the morning. 

 

And his father offers breakfast and Seokjin swallows the fog in his mind and agrees. 

 

Twice? In one week? And on purpose? 

 

When Seokjin finally crawls into the bed beside Namjoon, who’s completely dead to the world and snoring up a tornado - he looks at him. 

 

It’s so fucking difficult now. 

 

And he doesn’t even know why. 

 

Maybe it’s because you’ve got your mother’s wedding ring and your dad thinks that Namjoon thinks you’re his soulmate even though you guys are faking this but you stopped faking it a while ago and now you’re confused as to where you stand and you don’t know if you should give him your mother’s ring. 

 

That’s not entirely true. 

 

Oh? 

 

I do know what I want to do with the ring but that’s different. It’s not just some random ring. These are my parent’s rings and what it meant to them-

 

You don’t feel that for him? 

 

This is ridiculous, he’s my fake boyfriend. 

 

What happened to burning? 

 

Momentary lapse of judgement - I can’t give him my mother’s ring because he doesn’t love me and I d-

 

Don’t love him right? You’re watching him sleep. You’re sleeping with him. You’re crying over him, you’re buying him shit, you’re thinking about him wh-

 

That doesn’t equate to love. 

 

It doesn’t, but you do feel it. 

 

It doesn’t matter what I feel. We don’t even have to do this. This is all so unnecessary - this is my mom-

 

Are you using your mother’s ring as an excuse to back out of this? 

 

Namjoon shifts slightly and Seokjin notices that he’s got an eye peeking open at him. 

 

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” Namjoon’s voice sounds like sand. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head. He turns over to grab the bottle of water he brought for Namjoon earlier and hands it over. 

 

Namjoon sits up a little and drinks deeply before flopping back down.

 

“C’mere,” Namjoon lays out his arm. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to turn himself over and lay in the crook of Namjoon’s arm. Namjoon’s body is warm and Seokjin feels his back absorb the warmth and his ears buzz. 

 

He relaxes some. 

 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

 

Seokjin reaches up to Namjoon’s palm, “Not really,” he tells him. 

 

“Okay,” and he feels Namjoon press a kiss into his hair. His other hand slides up his chest and lays flat in the middle. 

 

Seokjin feels his heart beat fall into a steady rhythm before he falls asleep. 

Chapter 20: In Which There Is Honey

Notes:

Hey guys - sorry I haven't been updating - just trying to be more present in my daily life, yknow?

(by present i mean i have been developing a pavlovian response to jagermeister whereby - i gag if i see the bottle now)

Sexy times ahead so if ur not keen - skip the last bit where he goes up

Scorpio season is here babeeey and we are thriving with alla these transformations yeeeeeeeeee

any way - enjoy beautiful honey bunnies

 

Seokjin has been stuck in his own head since dinner with his father. He knows that. It’s Friday morning but he feels like so much has happened since. Mainly his head. 

 

He hasn’t come to any conclusions at all. 

 

But Namjoon has pulled away some and they haven’t had sex for two weeks. Namjoon seems skittish around him. He even offered to go home one Monday evening to give Seokjin some space. 

 

Seokjin had started crying when Namjoon suggested it and they haven’t spoken about anything at all. 

 

And it’s weird because usually, he and Namjoon could go on for hours about literally anything. It’s quiet now, but so very noisy. 

 

Namjoon makes him tea in the evenings and gives him soft kisses on his mouth. Seokjin also tries, and it feels like he’s trying to fish with no reel. He tries to cook for both of them in the evenings but it’s always bland. Namjoon, however, gulps it down with a smile on his face. He tries to pack lunches and Namjoon packs the dishwasher and whistles when he waters his plants. 

 

Seokjin watches him and tries to forget his body. His body feels heavy. 

 

So, when they all check in their bags for the flight, Seokjin is confused as to how he even got to the airport with a bag full of clothes. All he knows is that he wants to tell Namjoon about how he’s feeling but he doesn’t know where to start. 

 

He guesses the answer might find him once he tells Namjoon what’s been happening on his side. Then he’ll know what to do with the rings. 

 

He remembered to pack the “Words to Say” cassette tape in his luggage to help with some inspiration.

 

Do you want to give him your mother’s ring?

 

Seokjin has been avoiding that question since Saturday night. 

 

He’s standing beside Taehyung, he knows that much because his friend is holding his hand. Really tight. 

 

Jeongguk is trying to talk down Jimin, who was the first to agree to the trip but is afraid of anything higher than his head. 

 

His father is standing beside Yoongi, and every so often they pass a comment. It’s odd. Both their arms are crossed, both wearing pensive masks as they watch the passerby-ers. 

 

Namjoon ran to the bathroom with Hoseok. It’s been over twenty-minutes since they left. 

 

Seokjin walks in the direction he saw them going and finds the closest bathroom, Taehyung in hand, of course. 

 

They’re walking through the echo-y passage when Seokjin hears both their voices. 

 

“ - can’t,” 

 

“Why not?” Hoseok's voice is distinct. 

 

“I don’t even know what’s going on anymore,” Namjoon says and Seokjin’s stomach curdles at the defeat in his voice. 

 

“You know how he is - he’s probably thinking too hard ab-”

 

“HYUNGS, ARE YOU MAKING A KAKA ?”

 

Seokjin swings around and glares at Taehyung, who is grinning back at him. 

 

“Tae-” Seokjin is cut off by Hoseok and Namjoon exiting the bathroom entrance. 

 

“Hey, guys - long line,” Namjoon comes out, dabbing his very dry hands on his jeans. 

 

They were talking about him.

 

Seokjin is in a daze until they’re on the plane. Namjoon stays at his side, Jeongguk and Taehyung are fighting over who should get the window seat. Jimin is already talking to the air-hostess, who is now handing him tiny bottles. His father and Yoongi are already in their seats, buckled up and relaxed with their neck-pillows in place. It’s when Taehyung starts outright sulking that Namjoon steps in. 

 

“Jeongguk, you can sit in my seat next to Jin-hyung,” he tells them. Taehyung smiles brilliantly and Jimin settles in his own seat beside him. 

 

When Namjoon settles between the two of them, Jimin completely forgets that they’re going to be up in the air for six hours. He starts talking, along with Taehyung, and Namjoon indulges them.

 

Jeongguk comes to sit in Namjoon’s seat and he pulls out a giant Ziplock full of candy and nuts. 

 

“How did you even get past security with that?” Seokjin asks and immediately sticks his hand in the bag. 

 

“I put it in my pillow case,” Jeongguk bites the head of a gummy worm and grins at him. 

 

Hoseok slides in across from them and puts his carry-on in the empty seat. 

 

“I’m gonna finish the last season of Stranger Things, y'all wanna join?” He asks, pulling out his laptop and clacking on the keyboard. 

 

“Season four?” 

 

“Yeah, I never caught up-” but before Hoseok can even finish his sentence, Jeongguk is out of his seat and pushing the bag off the seat across from Seokjin. 

 

So much for fighting Taehyung. 

 

“Hyung?” Hoseok asks.

 

Seokjin shakes his head and moves to the window seat. 

 

Figures. 

 

Fine. If Namjoon is so okay with fucking talking about him and choosing to avoid him for the flight, Seokjin can do the exact same. 

 

He pulls out his earphones and one of the paperbacks he grabbed before they ran out of the door.

 

He looks over the cover and - 

 

Any other fucking book - God. 

 

Hehehe- 

 

He throws it on the empty seat and watches the Jenny Han book flip on its face. 

 

Yoongi thought it’d be a hilarious gift for Namjoon’s birthday. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t think it’s funny, so he closes his eyes and listens to Mariah Carey tell him about a hero coming along. 

 

—----

 

When he opens his eyes, he’s laying against a warm shoulder, and he can feel a wet patch of drool against his cheek. 

 

“Good morning,” Namjoon chuckles, “good nap?” 

 

Seokjin sits up, stretches his arms wides, “Mhm,” he yawns deeply, “what you doin’?” 

 

Namjoon adjusts the frames at the tip of his nose, “Reading,” he picks up the book in his hand. 

 

“What time is it?”

 

Namjoon picks up his phone and Seokjin looks at the screen. They have about an hour before they land. 

 

Did he really sleep for a whole five hours? 

 

Why the fuck am I still tired?

 

Then he looks at Namjoon. 

 

Wasn’t I supposed to be mad at him? 

 

“I thought you were with Jimin and them?” Namjoon looks up and sticks his thumb between the pages to hold his place. 

 

“Oh, Jeongguk-ssi called me ‘cause he wasn’t sitting with you,” 

 

“And you came?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

Namjoon frowns at him like the question is stupid, “Of course I came,” he replies. 

 

Seokjin nods and sits forward to grab a bottle of water from the small table. When he’s done gulping, he lifts his eyes to the two men across from them. 

 

Hoseok is watching them. 

 

“What?” he snaps at Hoseok. 

 

Hoseok sticks his tongue out and goes back to watching the screen with Jeongguk. Jeongguk has a finger in the corner of his mouth, not quite biting at the nail. Just limp, dragging his bottom lip downward.

 

—------

 

Jiwoo and her soon-to-be husband sent for them. They’re all packed in vans and Seokjin can’t stop yawning as he watches the streets of California pass them by.

 

His cousin is getting married at Wayferer’s Chapel. After texting back and forth, he discovered Jiwoo had watched an episode of some TV show and had seen the chapel there. She’d fought tooth and nail for the scenic venue. 

 

Jiwoo had also booked the hotel for the whole week that they’re there. Seokjin cringes at what the bill might look like once they leave. 

 

Namjoon and Taehyung are chattering over the cultural merits of California and Yoongi adds in his two cents about the architecture every-so-often. It’s just the four of them in the car and he knows his father and the rest of them are trailing behind. 

 

Cain, the DJ, is joining them later on in the week, closer to the event. 

 

—------------------

 

Seokjin wakes up from an hour nap and Namjoon tapping on his phone beside him. 

 

“Dinner?” Namjoon smiles down at him. 

 

Seokjin nods and pulls himself to his luggage. Which is unpacked. 

 

“You hung up my clothes?” 

 

Namjoon hums in confirmation and sets down his phone. 

 

Seokjin tears his eyes away and mutters a small “thank you”. 

 

God, how am I even going to start a conversation like that? 

 

Use the book Yoongi gave him. 

 

What? Throw it at his head? 

 

No, you dumb motherfuck - you watched the movie. You know what it’s about. 

 

I know nothing. 

 

You act like it - 

 

“Jiwoo invited us for dinner downstairs,” Namjoon tells him. 

 

Seokjin groans as he slips into his pants, “I need to brush my teeth, I feel gross,” he mutters. 

 

Namjoon nods and pats the bed beside him, “Hyung?” 

 

Seokjin frowns and goes to sit, “Yeah?” 

 

“Do you want to talk?” 

 

Seokjin looks around, “About?” 

 

“Hyung, you haven’t eaten more than two bites of anything and you’re sleeping so mu-” 

 

“I’m tired -” 

 

“I know, just lis-” 

 

“I’m listening -” 

 

“Jin, I’m not attacking you,” Namjoon tells him, “I’m worried about you.” 

 

Seokjin swallows, “I’m fine.” 

 

Namjoon leans towards him and just before he takes his hand he asks, “May I?” 

 

Seokjin nods his head minutely but Namjoon sees it, takes his hand and squeezes. 

 

“What can I do to help, Hyung?” 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “I’m fine,” he sighs, “I just have a lot on my mind.” 

 

Bro, it’s like the DVD screensaver in here- 

 

“About your dad?” 

 

Seokjin frowns but agrees quickly, he’ll tell Namjoon. Just not now. 

 

“Hyung, you know we don’t have to go through with this,” 

 

“What?” 

 

“I don’t want you to regret your first marriage or engagement and I don’t know if tha-” 

 

“It’s not,” he cuts Namjoon off. 

 

Seokjin looks down at their hands, “Are you?” 

 

“Am I?” 

 

“Are you going to regret this?” His voice sounds tiny but he has to know.

 

Namjoon suddenly shifts and comes to sit beside Seokjin. He can feel Namjoon stroke the side of his palm as he looks between his eyes, “Jin, I-” 

 

And his phone is ringing and it disrupts the entire atmosphere.

 

“I mean -” Namjoon snickers, “at least you changed your ringtone.” 

 

Seokjin answers, “Hey! Where y’all? We’re waiting to eat-” Hoseok shouts over the receiver.

 

“We’ll be down soon, give us a second-” but Seokjin doesn’t even get to finish before the line cuts. 

 

“We have to go?” Namjoon asks with a sigh. 

 

Seokjin nods. 

 

He runs to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. Namjoon hands him his cologne so he can refresh. He also gives him a soft kiss on the cheek. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t say anything, instead he wraps his arms around his waist and pulls Namjoon into a hug. He sighs when Namjoon strokes his hair and hugs him back. 

 

Namjoon places a kiss in his hair, “We can skip?” 

 

Seokjin pulls back and shakes his head, “I’ll tell you if I see any pigeons,” he laughs. 

 

—-------

 

Seokjin did not expect an entire section of the restaurant to be bordered off for their party, but it is. And Seokjin gulps as Namjoon guides him to their friends. Jimin and Taehyung are near the soon-to-be bride and groom, sitting beside his aunt. Well, not aunt, he doesn’t even know their relation, but everyone older than him is an aunt or uncle. Hoseok is talking to a blue-eyed man, and he’s smiling. Jeongguk and Yoongi are tensely walking in from the bathroom, and following them is - 

 

“Chan?” 

 

And he feels Namjoon tense around him. 

 

“Oh, Jinnie - you know Chan?” 

 

Seokjin’s father is currently staring daggers at Chan but Seokjin recovers easily enough, “Yeah,” he smiles. 

 

He nods at Chan in greeting, and the other man smiles brightly. Seokjin’s stomach turns slightly. 

 

“Chan works with David, they’re practically glued at the hip,” Jiwoo tells Seokjin amidst all the chatter of the table. He laughs and tries to change the subject. 

 

But by the time dinner is served, Seokjin wants to run up to his room and jump from the window.

 

Namjoon is a beautiful date, on the other hand, he laughs and keeps some part of him touching Seokjin at all times. He joins the conversation, talking about dadaism? He’s pretty sure he heard someone say that word. What that word means, fuck if he knows. 

 

All he knows is that Chan keeps looking at him from the other end of the table and within all the commotion, his father ends up sitting beside him. 

 

He leans in while the noise is still potent, “I can ask him to leave,” his father whispers. Seokjin snorts and turns to his dad in surprise. 

 

He shakes his head, “No, no -” 

 

“Jin-” 

 

“I’m okay, dad,” he assures him and picks up his and Namjoon’s clasped hands, “see?” 

 

Namjoon turns his head and smiles at Namjung. 

 

Seokjin sees Yoongi watching their hands as he lowers it to his thigh. 

 

The rest of the dinner runs over smoothly and Seokjin can’t explain it. He feels sort of… safe with his father beside him and Namjoon on the other side. He slept the entire day but he still feels a yawn bubble out of him. 

 

“Pigeons?” he hears Namjoon whisper into his ears. 

 

Namjung leans in, “Where?” And Seokjin never thought two weekends worth of dinners at his father's house would have made him so soft on his father. 

 

Seokjin laughs and shakes his head, “I think we’re going to head up-” 

 

David interjects, “So early?” He frowns at them and Jiwoo shoves her fiancé's shoulder playfully.

 

Seokjin blushes when the table’s attention turns to him, “I-uh,-” 

 

“The flight was quite gruelling, I think I might retire as well,” Namjung surprisingly says. 

 

Jeongguk and Yoongi nod and a few of the guests at the table agree. 

 

It’s Jimin and Jiwoo who groan, “Come on, y’all are so old - we have an open bar!” 

 

“And a dancefloor,” Jimin adds. 

 

David shimmies his shoulders, “C’mon guys, these hips don’t lie-” 

 

Yoongi snorts, “My hips have been lying since ninety-three,” everyone laughs and people start to gather their things. 

 

Jiwoo pouts, “Fine, breakfast tomorrow! I want to spend some time with you guys before we leave,” she says. 

 

“Where’s the honeymoon?” Namjoon beckons. 

 

She shrugs and David winks at them. 

 

David is charming to say the least, and it makes sense as to why Chan was friends with him. Not that he knew much about Chan either.

 

You knew how to suck his di-

 

Seokjin abruptly stands and Namjoon is forced to follow. 

 

He waves at everyone before turning on his heels and skidding out of the room. Namjoon in tow of course, since he hasn’t let go of his hand. 

 

——-

 

The next day isn’t better. 

 

Namjoon is out for a hike with Jeongguk and a few other people from the wedding party. Hoseok said he’s going for a drive with someone (Seokjin suspects it might be with the blue-eyed man he’d seen speaking to Hoseok yesterday). Jimin and Taehyung are busy with the immediate wedding party, helping with a few last-minute arrangements. 

 

He doesn’t know where his father is, he hasn’t seen him since breakfast this morning. So that leaves him dawdling around the hotel with Yoongi.

 

But Chan seems to be every-fucking-where he is. 

 

Naturally, Seokjin avoids him. 

 

It’s only Yoongi that knows, and now, Namjoon. He told the rest what had happened, but not really specifying who had been involved. He had to give them some crumbs, seeing as they literally had to intervene and drag him out of his room. 

 

Seokjin looks at Yoongi’s shoulder in shame. 

 

They’re having drinks in a sunroom, it’s terribly hot here. Seokjin is holding onto his fourth icy-margarita, while Yoongi sips on some whiskey and cola. 

 

“I hear the night clubs are good there,” 

 

Seokjin snorts, “You heard or did you watch the second Dirty Dancing movie -” 

 

“Shut up-”

 

Seokjin laughs even harder, “Are you serious!? You want to go to Cuba because of Havana Nights?” 

 

“No-”

 

“You’re a good liar,” Seokjin sips his drink, “but not that good,” he smiles.

 

Yoongi mutters something under his breath but Seokjin watches his cheeks redden as he swallows half of his glass. 

 

“I mean,” Seokjin looks outside to the garden, “Javier was hot,” Seokjin smiles. 

 

“He does seem like your type,” Seokjin looks at Yoongi and sips.

 

Yoongi frowns, “And what would my ‘type’ be?” he asks. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, and looks up as if deep in thought, “A dancer,” he starts, and he sees Yoongi’s cheeks flush, “free-spirited, full of life, someone with a dark past-” 

 

“Hobi doesn’t have a dark past?” Yoongi interrupts and immediately regrets it. 

 

Seokjin lifts a brow and grins, “ Really now?”

 

Yoongi gulps down his drink, “You are a di-” 

 

“I didn’t say shit -” 

 

“But you implied -” 

 

“I didn’t imply fuck-all-”

 

“Hi, guys,” Seokjin tenses at the Australian accent. 

 

Both Yoongi and Seokjin turn their heads to the source of the voice. Sure enough, Bang Chan is standing right there. He looks sheepish. 

 

“You got some fucken nerve talking to us-” 

 

“Yoongs, it’s okay,” Seokjin assures his friend.

 

Chan smiles brightly, as if he’s unbothered by Yoongi’s reaction. 

 

“So, Jin -” 

 

“HYUNG, JEONGGUK FELL ON THE TRAIL AND NOW HE HAS A SCAR ON HIS FOREHEAD AND HE’S SAYING VOLDEMORT IS NEAR-” They all turn to find Namjoon, sweaty and sexy as hell, at the entrance of the sunroom. 

 

Jeongguk is beside him, holding his hair back so they could see his forehead. 

 

Yoongi snorts, “He’s not wrong-” 

 

“ Yoongi .”

 

“Sorry, Chan-” 

 

Namjoon enters the room with a frown and Jeongguk is still holding his hair back. 

 

“Oh, hey, Chan,” Namjoon nods politely. 

 

“Hyung, look at me,” Jeongguk points at his forehead with his free hand. 

 

Seokjin laughs and reaches out to poke it, “Does it hurt?” 

 

Jeongguk releases his hair and shakes his head. It flops over his face in dark curls. 

 

Namjoon comes around to wrap his arms around Seokjin, warming his back entirely. “Missed you,” he kisses the back of his neck. 

 

Seokjin smiles, “Did you have fun?” 

 

Namjoon hums something into the side of his neck and puts a little more weight onto Seokjin. 

 

“Namjoon-hyung tried to climb a tree,” Jeongguk giggles. 

 

“And?” Yoongi asks. 

 

Namjoon groans into his neck. 

 

“He fell,” Jeongguk grins. 

 

Seokjin twists himself around in Namjoon’s arms, “Did you get hurt?”

 

He hears Yoongi snort and he rolls his eyes. 

 

Namjoon pulls down his lips - 

 

“His ego was a little bruised but I think he’s fine,” Jeongguk snickers. 

 

Seokjin smiles at Namjoon, “Wanna go up and shower?” He sniffs and scrunches his nose. 

 

Namjoon grins and pulls Seokjin closer, “You sayin’ I stink?” 

 

“I am saying you both stink,” Yoongi groans.

 

And then someone laughs. And it's not Jeongguk, it’s not Yoongi, it's not Namjoon, and it sure as hell isn’t Seokjin. 

 

They all turn to Chan at the same time and Yoongi curls his lip up in disgust. He quickly covers his expression and blanks out his face. 

 

“Uh- so Jin,” he starts, “I was wondering if we could catch up-” 

 

“No,” Yoongi cuts him off. 

 

Seokjin reaches out an arm and touches Yoongi’s shoulder, “It’s fine -” 

 

“No the fuck it’s not-” Yoongi shoves his hand off, “ watch yourself-” Yoongi hisses and points at Chan with a threatening finger. 

 

“ Hyung, let’s go to the gift shop,” Yoongi turns to Jeongguk and his face immediately softens. 

 

With one last dirty look, Yoongi allows himself to be dragged off by the youngest of their troop. 

 

Namjoon immediately tightens himself around Seokjin and he wants to laugh, he can feel his fingers digging into his stomach. 

 

“Namjoon,” Chan nods, and Seokjin watches his eyes trail over where he’s wrapped around him, “do you mind if I had a moment alone with Jin?” 

 

Seokjin’s heart tries to beat out of his chest and his stomach feels like it wants to empty all the margaritas he drank. 

 

He knows Namjoon is tense, he can feel it - because he is tense.

 

“That’s up to Jin,” and it sounds like Namjoon forces the words through his teeth. 

 

Seokjin swallows, “Yeah, sure,” he shakes his head. 

 

He watches Namjoon clench his jaw and poke his tongue to the side of his cheek. With that, he releases Seokjin and nods. 

 

His eyes flick back to Chan and then to Seokjin, “Call if you need me,” he presses a kiss on his temple and walks out of the sunroom. 

 

Seokjin looks back at Chan. 

 

“Hi, Jin,” Chan smiles and brushes his hair back. 

 

Seokjin would melt at the sight but he’s too busy worrying about what’s going through Namjoon’s head right now. 

 

And plus, he will not melt for an asshole. 

 

So only Namjoon then?

 

Correct. 

 

Oh… 

 

What? 

 

We’re finally on the same page, then .

 

“Hi, Chan,” he tries to smile. It feels strained as fuck .

 

The other man takes a step towards him, and Seokjin immediately takes a step back. 

 

Chan laughs, “That’s new.” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What do you want?” 

 

Chan sighs and sees a pinch of sadness coating his smile, “To talk.” 

 

Seokjin snorts, “You had that opportunity a while ago,” he snaps. 

 

“I,-” he pauses, “I see you and Namjoon-” 

 

“Is that what you wanted to talk about?” Seokjin immediately interrupts him, growing impatient. 

 

Chan looks at him, trying to search his face. Probably for any semblance of the man that was soft on him. 

 

Unfortunately for Chan, that man is long dead. And standing in front of the man just reminds him of that. 

 

Chan shakes his head, “No, no…” he says, “would you like to have some coffee?” 

 

Seokjin’s entire face must morph into the personification of confusion because Chan is talking again, “Just a coffee, nothing else.” 

 

“You think I’m worried about something else?” Seokjin sneers. 

 

Chan shrugs, “I mean, you can’t have chang-” 

 

But Seokjin turns on his heel and begins stomping out of the room.

 

“Jin, JIN ! Wait-” Chan grabs his arm and swings him around. Seokjin realises that he’s got a bit of height on Chan so he postures himself and snatches his arm away. 

 

“Sorry, I’m sorry-” Chan blabbers, “That came out wrong-” 

 

“Yes it did.” Seokjin looks down at him. 

 

“Coffee?” 

 

Seokjin pauses and tries to think past his thoughts. He counts to three and imagines a white light filling his head like Namjoon taught him.  

 

It could be a good opportunity to finally close this chapter. 

 

But he looks at Chan and his chest doesn’t do the thing it used to do. His ears are perfectly normal and not warm. His legs feel more stiff than they have in years .

 

Chan is old news. 

 

Coffee . 

 

It could help him remove the residue. What Chan wants, he doesn’t know, but he can do this much for himself.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Seokjin said with finality. 

 

Chan fumbles around and pulls out his phone, “Same number, right?” 

 

Seokjin takes a step back and nods. 

 

Something is heavy and wrong at the pit of his stomach. 

 

Maybe I’m just scared. 

 

He turns and leaves without a word.

 

He barely hears Chan shout, “I’ll text you,” on his way out. 

 

—-----

 

Seokjin can’t shake the weird feeling weighing his stomach down when he opens the door to their hotel room. 

 

He smiles when he hears Namjoon singing “ I’ll Make Love to You ”. 

 

Seokjin removes his shoes and walks over to the bathroom. The shower door is clear so he can see pretty much everything .

 

Namjoon is trying to wash the soap off his face when Seokjin sits down on the toilet seat. 

 

“Hey,” he says. 

 

Namjoon screams . 

 

He tries to recollect himself, “Oh, you’re back?” he asks in a shaky voice. 

 

Seokjin laughs. 

 

“Want some time alone?” 

 

Namjoon wipes the glass, “No, so…” he trails off. 

 

He knows he wants to ask about Chan so Seokjin asks him about the hike. He wants to forget how he feels about this. 

 

“It was really beautiful,” Namjoon grins through the misted screen. 

 

“Mmm?” 

 

“Ya, hyung - there were so many cats and lizards - so many lizards, and then we saw this weird blue bug and Jeongguk said I should bring it back to show you-” 

 

“And-” 

 

“Did you want to see it?” Namjoon switches off the water. 

 

Seokjin snorts, “Not a chance in hell.” 

 

Namjoon grabs his towel and states drying himself, “Well, that’s what I told him,” he snickers. 

 

Seokjin smiles up at him and feels his face break out into a genuine beam. 

 

Namjoon stops drying his hair and looks at him. Wrapping his towel around his waist, he leans forward and lifts Seokjin’s chin up with his fingers. 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “I like it when you smile,” he leans down to peck his lips.

 

His neck ticks and he feels his breath catch when Namjoon walks into the bedroom. 

 

“Put some lotion on my back for me?” Namjoon throws him the bottle. 

 

Seokjin catches it and pumps some onto his hand, “What do you wanna do?” He spreads the cream across Namjoon’s back and under his arms. 

 

“Tonight?” 

 

Seokjin hums. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Thank you,” he takes the bottle. 

 

“It looks like it might rain,” Seokjin looks outside. 

 

Namjoon turns around and grins, “Wanna stay in?” He stalks Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin drops his eyes and sticks his finger into the lip of Namjoon’s towel, “What do you wanna do?” He pulls him a little closer, heart racing.

 

Namjoon always allows himself to be dragged forward, only leaving a tiny gap between them. 

 

And then he plants his feet on the floor and Seokjin looks up, “What’s wrong?” 

 

“Uh… are you… are you sure?” Namjoon is looking up at him earnestly. 

 

Seokjin pulls his finger out of his towel and his eyes widen, “I - I didn’t want to assume-” 

 

Namjoon shakes his head, “No - I just wasn’t sure you’d want to, y’know?” He shrugs. 

 

“Why not?” he frowns. 

 

Namjoon huffs and lifts his shoulders, “Well, these past few weeks- I thought you didn’t want to anymore,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

And he frowns hard, “I thought you just didn’t want to?” 

 

And Namjoon matches his frown, “Why would I not want to?” 

 

They stare at each other for a solid five seconds before bursting out into laughter. 

 

“I assumed you wanted space,” Namjoon tells him after the laughter has died down. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “I assumed you-,” he shrugs, “got what you wanted.” 

 

Namjoon reaches out and flicks him on his forehead. 

 

“ Ouch !?” 

 

Namjoon steps forward and wraps his arms around him, “How could you ever think that?” he asks Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “What?” 

 

“One: that I’d use you like that,” he leans into Seokjin, “two, that I would ever tire of you,” he murmurs against his mouth.

 

He feels his head get lighter and his heart try to escape his chest. 

 

“O- oh ?”

 

“May I?” 

 

Seokjin smiles, “Why do you always ask when you know I’m going to say yes?” Seokjin asks before their lips touch. 

 

Namjoon smiles, “Just to remind you,” his eyes meet Seokjin’s. 

 

“Of?” 

 

“Your choices and,” he kisses his cheek softly. 

 

“And?” 

 

“Who you belong to.” Namjoon murmurs before capturing Seokjin in the most heated kiss of his life. 

 

He supposes they’ve kissed like this before, and Namjoon always says some shit like this whenever they have sex, but his ears are burning. His lips already feel bruised, and he can’t feel or think past Namjoon’s words.

 

His knees actually give out when Namjoon’s hands start to wander up his shirt. 

 

Namjoon is quick to lift him, chuckling while he grabs Seokjin’s thighs. 

 

“What?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head, “You like being carried?”

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “Kiss me.” And Namjoon does. 

 

Eventually, he lays him on the bed, trying not to waste any time between breaths, because it’s almost like they’re ravenous . Namjoon isn’t even giving him space to moan when his hand moves down to cup him - and Seokjin doesn’t want him to back up because - fuck .

 

It’s been almost two weeks and Seokjin wants Namjoon.

 

What’s new?

 

“ Fuck - Hyung ,” Namjoon breaks their kiss and rests his forehead against Seokijn’s. 

 

It’s a still moment, and Seokjin can’t hear anything but their breaths and his heartbeat. 

 

The thunder claps outside and he jumps a little. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes open and he looks at Seokjin, “ Your eyes are so pretty ,” Namjoon rolls his hips into Seokjin’s and he feels his dick harden even more. 

 

But something feels off-kilter. Namjoon isn’t kissing him like he normally does. It feels like he’s rushing.

 

“ I - I want you ,” Namjoon almost sobs between their lips. 

 

And Seokjin frowns at the sound of his voice and pulls Namjoon’s head back. 

 

“Joon?” Seokjin takes a good look at him, “Are you okay?” 

 

Namjoon’s eyes widen a little, and Seokjin notes how his pupil is covering his irises. His face is flushed but he looks so… young? 

 

Namjoon nods, “Kiss me?” 

 

“I will,” Seokjin brushes his hair back gently, “Can I take care of you?” He rubs his thumb behind his ears. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes brighten and Seokjin leans up to kiss him and flip him over onto his back. 

 

Seokjin leans down and kisses his neck, peppering them all the way up to his full lips before sticking out his tongue to touch them. 

 

Namjoon watches him, almost as if he has stars sparkling in his eyes, “ Hyung,” he breathes out. And Seokjin should really pay more attention, because Namjoon never calls him ‘Hyung’ when they’re having sex.

 

Seokjin kisses him, “Mmmm? What can I do for you, Namjoonie?” He pecks his nose. 

 

Namjoon opens his mouth and then shuts it and smiles. 

 

Seokjin reaches down to tickle his ribs, “What do you want?” 

 

Namjoon groans and tries to wriggle away from Seokjin’s hand. 

 

“Nothing, nothing - it’s fine,” Namjoon laughs. 

 

Seokjin sits up on his lap and crosses his arms, “ Namjoon .”

 

“What?” 

 

Seokjin purses his lips and looks at him. 

 

Namjoon huffs and flops back onto the bed. His hands come up to cover his face. 

 

“I’m not in the space - to, I don’t know -” his words are muffled so Seokjin pulls his hands away. 

 

“To what?” Seokjin asks, looking over his face worriedly.

 

Namjoon shuts his eyes and Seokjin’s eyes widen. 

 

“Namjoon, we don’t have to have sex-”

 

“No, no, no- it’s not that, fuck -” Namjoon’s eyes pop open and he sits up on his elbows, “I don’t know how to say this,” he tells Seokjin with round eyes. 

 

And his eyes look so earnest and not at all like they do whenever they’re having sex. 

 

So Seokjin waits. 

 

“I’m a little tired,” he breathes, and when Seokjin lifts his leg to move off the other man, Namjoon pulls him back in place. 

 

“I can’t take care of you today,” Namjoon tells him and he looks so fucking ashamed that Seokjin’s heart aches at the sight. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head, “I’m not asking you to do that, I said-” 

 

“I know what you said but I don’t want you to drop and-” 

 

“Namjoon, can you slow down for a second,” he instructs. 

 

Namjoon shuts his mouth and waits for Seokjin to continue. 

 

“Would you like to have sex?” 

 

Namjoon nods. 

 

“Words, Namjoonie.”

 

“Yes,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

“Do you trust me to take care of you right now?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Of course-” 

 

“Then-” 

 

“Hyung, I want-” he rushes out and pauses, struggling to find the words, “I want you to-” and when Namjoon’s eyes drop to his crotch, Seokjin gets with the programme. 

 

Seokjin leans forward and kisses him and reaches to the side to lace their fingers together. 

 

“Namjoonie,” he kisses him, “you can tell me what you want.” He squeezes his fingers. 

 

Namjoon follows his mouth when Seokjin gives him space to speak. He places his hand on his chest and smiles. 

 

“I like you like this,” he tells Namjoon and watches his cheeks darken.

 

“But I need you to tell me what you want, Namjoonie.” He grins. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes search Seokjin’s for a moment, “If you’re not comfo-”

 

“I didn’t ask about me,” Seokjin tells him with a soft voice. 

 

“I-” he swallows.

 

So Seokjin helps him, “I want you to…?” 

 

Namjoon licks his lips, “I want you to… I want you to fuck me, Hyung,” Namjoon tells him with a hoarse voice. And Seokjin watches the vein in his neck jump quickly. 

 

Seokjin reaches out and caresses his pulse. Namjoon is watching him when he lifts his eyes to his - and he looks soft and almost scared. 

 

He leans down, “I would love to,” he kisses Namjoon and he feels the man beneath him release the breath he’d been holding onto his skin. 

 

Seokjin breathes him in and he hears Namjoon’s breath hitch when he licks his way up to his ear. 

 

“I’m gonna be honest here,” Seokjin starts, “I haven’t done this in a while.” 

 

Namjoon laughs, “Same here,” he says. 

 

And then, “Did you bring any stuff?” 

 

Namjoon lifts himself and nods, “It’s in my toiletry bag,” he says. 

 

Seokjin jumps off the bed and runs to the closet to find Namjoon’s black bag. He pulls out the familiar small bag. 

 

Seokjin pulls out the bottle of lubricant (they’d had to buy a new bottle and the pina colada flavour smells so good) and breaks off a condom from the folded strip. 

 

Namjoon is watching him, so he sets them beside his head and leans down to kiss him. 

 

“How do you want to do this?” Seokjin asks, placing soft kisses on his face. 

 

Namjoon gulps, “Uh, can we, can I be on my back?” 

 

He brushes the hair off Namjoon’s forehead, “Of course,” he smiles and kisses him before shifting down on Namjoon so he can unravel the towel. He places a pillow beneath Namjoon’s hips.

 

And Seokjin feels a little out of his depth here, but not unsteady. Just a little nervous. 

 

Because he wants to make it good for Namjoon.

 

Namjoon is hard and his dick is glistening at the tip. Seokjin lays his palms flat on Namjoon’s stomach and lets his hands wander over his torso. 

 

“You never told me about your tattoo,” he places a kiss on his belly button and Namjoon’s stomach shifts when he laughs. He knows Seokjin is trying to distract him.

 

Namjoon’s hand comes up to his ribs and he traces over the tattoo, “It’s supposed to be two people, intertwined,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

“Mmm? What are the red lines for?” Seokjin joins his fingers and touches the thin red lines. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “Have you ever heard about the ‘red thread of fate’?” 

 

“Like soulmates?” 

 

Namjoon laughs, “Like soulmates,” he confirms. 

 

“You’ve met your -uh,” and Seokjin gulps, “soulmate?” 

 

Namjoon lifts his eyes to his, “I -,”  and quickly drops them, “I think we have a bunch,” he says. 

 

“Of soulmates?” 

 

Namjoon nods, “And the tattoo was mostly for the idea,” he rubs his thumb over it, “that I’ll always be where I need to be,” Seokjin frowns. 

 

He doesn’t quite understand it; and if he’s being honest, Namjoon sounds like he’s avoiding the question.

 

But Namjoon is already feeling a little exposed so he doesn’t want to push him. 

 

Seokjin shifts and settles between his thighs, he leans in and kisses the inside of Namjoon’s thigh. 

 

He watches his breath quicken, “So, you’re supposed to be here right now?” A kiss on the opposite thigh. 

 

“Where else would I be?” 

 

Seokjin grins and kisses a little higher, running his hands over his thighs, “Your thighs are sexy, you know?” 

 

Namjoon snorts, “What?” 

 

“I really like your thighs,” he tells Namjoon, reaching up to cup his balls, “I’ll bite your dick if you mention your shoulder-to-hip ratio,” he licks up to the head of his cock. 

 

Namjoon makes an odd sound between a hiss and a laugh. 

 

“ Please don’t bite my dick,” Namjoon snickers and Seokjin is about to suck him down but he snorts and he ends up laughing before he does. 

 

Namjoon throws the lube bottle at his head and it knocks him in the forehead. 

 

“Namjoon-ah!?” 

 

“Don’t joke about biting my dick when it’s right by your face,” he tells him. 

 

Seokjin laughs and loses balance and face plants into Namjoon’s thigh. 

 

It’s a mess. 

 

“I’m sorry - m’sorry,” he mumbles, trying to be serious. 

 

But Namjoon is also giggling and Seokjin can’t stop himself. 

 

“Thank you,” Namjoon says through his laughter.

 

And Seokjin’s laugh dies down, “For what?” 

 

“It’s never been so easy.” 

 

And Seokjin thinks back to that thought he had about Namjoon. 

 

He had the same thought. The exact same thought. 

 

And it’s not like it’s been easy, trying to work through the clouds in his head. 

 

It just feels so much easier that he has someone like Namjoon to stabilise him through it all.

 

That it is Namjoon.

 

He crawls up to Namjoon and he looks down at the man; the man he thinks he might be in love with. 

 

Think? 

 

Shut it - I’m trying here. 

 

Kiss him, fool, you’re just staring . 

 

Seokjin smiles down at him, “I won’t bite your dick off, I promise,” and he kisses the smile on Namjoon’s lips. 

 

“You’re so pretty,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Wh- Excuse me?”

 

“I think you’re beautiful, Namjoonie,” he pecks his nose. 

 

Namjoon scrunches his nose, “Is this payback for the lube?” 

 

Seokjin looks back, “What? No? I’m telling you that you’re really pretty, Namjoon,” 

 

“Mmm, I’m sure,” he purses his lips. 

 

Seokjin reaches up and pinches his cheek, “Why don’t you believe me?” 

 

Namjoon clicks his tongue and bats his hand away, “Hyung, shut up - I’m not pretty like you - we all know-” 

 

Seokjin sits up entirely, “What? You genuinely don’t believe me?” 

 

Namjoon frowns and leans up on his elbows, “ Hyung , do we have to-”

 

“Namjoon,” he says seriously, “Do you think this happens for ugly people?” And he points down to the bulge in his pants, keeping his face as straight as he can. 

 

“ Jin-hyung, ” Namjoon covers his face with his arms, smothering his laughter. 

 

Seokjin pulls them away, “Say you are beautiful before I bite your dick,” he says gently.

 

“Fine, ‘you are beautiful’,” Namjoon says. 

 

Seokjin shrugs nonchalantly, “Okay, it’s your dick -” 

 

“Jin-hyung-” Namjoon holds him in place, “I’m beautiful, I’m beautiful - there.” 

 

And Seokjin nods, “ Exactly , I’m never wrong,” he leans down to kiss Namjoon. And he puts his whole soul into making Namjoon feel just as intensely as he does into the kiss. 

 

Things start to pick up pace and Seokjin is two fingers deep in Namjoon, all the while trying to control his gag reflex around his dick. Namjoon is making the sweetest sounds ever and they’re all going straight to Seokjin’s neglected cock. 

 

“Hyung, Hyung - stop, st-stop-” and Seokjin couldn’t have pulled away faster. 

 

Namjoon sits up, “I didn’t mean - if you keep sucking me off like that, I’m not gonna make it-”

 

And the fear swoops right out of Seokjin, “Oh,” he laughs. 

 

“That good, huh?” 

 

Namjoon smiles down at him and drops his head when Seokjin slips in two fingers, scissoring them to make room for the third. Namjoon runs his hands through his hair and gives him small encouragements between his breaths. 

 

Seokjin is trying to stretch him out as best as he can, but Namjoon is so damn tight. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know if he’s going to last.

 

He finally pulls his fingers out, growing impatient and his dick is straining uncomfortably against his zipper. He feels a breath of relief when he pulls off his pants and underwear. 

 

The rain is light outside, slowly picking up, so he doesn’t think Namjoon can hear his harsh breathing once he takes in the sight of him laid bare before Seokjin. 

 

Seokjin feels his skin burning when he looks at Namjoon, spread out and waiting for him, “ Namjoon , Jesus ,” he mutters under his breath, softly laying his hand on his knee. 

 

Namjoon looks up to him, his chest pausing as he watches Seokjin trying to put on the condom - and is having a difficult time doing so because he can’t stop looking at Namjoon. 

 

“Need help?” 

 

Seokjin blushes and looks down to adjust the condom. It feels strange but he shrugs the feeling off, they're both comfortable with condoms. 

 

Instead of pushing himself right away, he moves to come face to face with Namjoon. 

 

“You sure about this?” He asks. 

 

“I’m ready, Hyung,” Namjoon nods. 

 

“You’re going to tell me if it hurts or if you need me to stop, m’kay?” He kisses his lashes. 

Namjoon lets a huge breath out, “Yes,” he looks up into Seokjin’s eyes. 

 

And Seokjin wants to die because Namjoon is trusting him here, and he feels like -

 

Fuck -

 

Seokjin leans down to kiss him, and positions his cock against Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon feels him and he opens his mouth, as Seokjin presses in with a hiss. 

 

He needs to fucking relax before it’s over for everyone.

 

“You’re finally getting your consequences,” he tries and watches Namjoon’s eyes pop open. 

 

He’s laughing and Seokjin is too, but he feels Namjoon relax around him so he pushes in until he bottoms out. Seokjin feels like he’s a second away from combusting because Namjoon feels so fucking good .

 

Namjoon’s eyes are watering at the stretch, so Seokjin reaches out to lace their fingers besides Namjoon’s head. 

 

“How are you feeling?” He kisses him. 

 

Namjoon looks at him, “Good, good - sorry -” 

 

“Don't apologise,” he squeezes his fingers, “How are you feeling?” he asks again.

 

Namjoon looks at him, “Just give me a sec,” he scrunches his face up. 

 

“When was the last time you did this?” 

 

Namjoon huffs, “Like a couple of years ago,” he shrugs and rubs Seokjin’s hands with his thumbs, “okay, you can move - I think,” he says. 

 

Seokjin pulls out slowly, hissing at the drag, Namjoon’s whole body tenses up when Seokjin pushes back in, “Good?” 

 

Namjoon laughs and it sounds breathy, “Yeah.” 

 

Seokjin picks up the pace, losing his rhythm occasionally because he’s focused on how fucking hot Namjoon looks beneath him.

 

Which is a good thing really, because he feels like he’s on the edge the entire time. 

 

“ Jin-hyung- Jin-hyung, fuck - fuck fuck -” Namjoon throws his head back into the pillows, completely lost when Seokjin finds the angle that Namjoon likes best. 

 

And god - Seokjin doesn’t know if he can be more turned on - but his dick doesn’t know how to process this Namjoon.

 

Namjoon isn’t quite moaning - he’s sobbing , neck twisted and his face almost covered by the white pillow. His body is slightly damp and it outlines his chest and shoulders, and his skin looks a tad darker than usual -

 

Are you trying to blow your top? 

 

He’s so damn sexy though- 

 

Think about dog shit or something.

 

No-

 

Seokjin leans forward, slightly adjusting the angle, and Namjoon’s back arches so much that it lifts him when he kisses along his chest and bites gently on his neck. 

 

He sticks his hand between them, grabbing hold of Namjoon’s cock, jacking him in time with his strokes, “Kiss me, Namjoonie,” he instructs. 

 

It’s apparently too much to ask for because Namjoon’s mouth is open and he’s breathing warm air into Seokjin’s lungs, moaning his name like it’s something entirely holy. And Seokjin is eating it right up - watching Namjoon lose himself like this.

 

Seokjin feels hot, like his shoulders and the back of his neck are covered by a blanket but he keeps going. 

 

When Namjoon throws his head back, tensing around him, Seokjin knows he’s close - so he picks up the speed, trying to stroke Namjoon -

 

“You know what’d be great?” He fucks into him, talking into his neck.

 

Namjoon doesn’t respond, so he continues, “ If you wore your panties for me the next time we do this ,” he breathes out and he feels himself getting closer to that sweet spot. 

 

“ Jin-hyung, I- please ,” and Seokjin is almost delirious with the amount of satisfaction this brings him. Usually, Namjoon is so fluid and focused during sex and Seokjin is the one falling apart at the seams. 

 

And he feels so powerful with the trust Namjoon has handed over to him to allow himself to be like this. 

 

“ You feel,” he kisses his mouth, “ so,” kiss, “fucking,” kiss, “ good, Namjoon,” he punctuates his last words with his teeth dragging out Namjoon’s bottom lip and a hard thrust. 

 

Namjoon’s fingers are digging hard against his shoulders and back, and he’s pretty sure there is going to be some bruising.

 

“ Hyung-hyung-hyung- please, fuck fuck f- ” and Namjoon is spilling into his palm and pulsing around Seokjin so hard that he can’t help it. He ends up coming and it’s heaven . 

 

It’s not the most intense orgasm he’s had, especially with Namjoon, but it’s different and it feels more intense than his body feels it.

 

Seokjin keeps his hand moving between them as Namjoon’s body shakes beneath him, letting Namjoon ride his wave and milk Seokjin for everything he has in him. 

 

Eventually Seokjin’s elbows give out and he collapses onto Namjoon. Namjoon’s arms come around him immediately, squeezing him against his body, rubbing his back.

 

Seokjin kisses his neck, breathing in his natural scent. 

 

“Do I smell that nice?” Namjoon chuckles. 

 

Seokjin hums, “You do,” he smiles into his neck, “do I sniff you that much?” 

 

Namjoon’s chest jostles him, “Yeah,” he says, “what do I smell like?”

 

He lifts his head slightly and frowns, “I actually don’t know,” 

 

“Shampoo?” 

 

“I mean, yeah, but you mostly smell like you ,” he says. 

 

Namjoon frowns up at him, “Me? What does ‘me’ smell like?”

 

Seokjin tilts his head, trying to think, “What do I smell like?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “You smell like you,” he chuckles. 

 

“Okay, on the count of three say a word that comes to mind when you smell me,” Seokjin suggests. 

 

Namjoon nods, and pulls his neck down towards him to sniff. 

 

Seokjin closes his eyes and tries to concentrate on his scent, it smells like Namjoon and he doesn’t know how to put that into words. He smells like the feeling you get when you sit in the sun, like late movie nights - he smells like early morning runs, like dancing in the dark to a stranger’s music - he smells like forehead kisses and sleepy talks. It’s hard to quantify it into words.

 

 “One - two - three .” 

 

There’s a pause and Seokjin lifts his head to look at Namjoon. 

 

“ Home .” "Light." They both speak at the same time.

 

Seokjin laughs and his heart feels light, especially when Namjoon drops his head back to laugh. Perhaps they had meant the same thing. 

 

Seokjin leans down to kiss Namjoon, and it’s sweet . So sweet that Seokjin thinks he can taste honey in Namjoon's mouth. 

Notes:

Idk about this smut scene but I felt like it was needed - it's not as intense or sexual as the others but I think it got the point across ??? idk idk love u guys :D

Chapter 21: In Which Everyone Loves Jin-Hyung

Notes:

I actually am not apologising for the late update because I am livin my best life and consumerism can suck my toe

YO SO THIS CHAPTER IS SORTA SHORTER THAN WHAT I USUALLY POST BUT THATS CAUSE I HAVE A LIL DRAMA IN THE NEXT CHAPTER

So this one is just for the dramatic pause effect (and also cause i havent read thru the last one but thats none of my beeswax)

Chan has been texting him non-stop and Seokjin eventually caves on Monday evening. He agrees to meet with him the next day.

 

The thing is, he doesn’t know how to bring it up with Namjoon - because things have been really great between them. Seokjin doesn’t think they’ve been in such a sunny space before and it's a little unnerving because it’s so natural. 

 

Sure, they talked and had sex before.

 

But something sort of shifted. Seokjin feels a little more conscious - and not so stuffed in his head. 

 

He’s going to tell Namjoon. And he’s confident that Namjoon might reflect his feelings. 

 

How confident? 

 

None of my damn business. 

 

They’ve all been roaming the city for the past few days. Seokjin thinks he might like to go snowboarding some time in the winter. 

 

“I went once and yeah, no,” Namjoon laughs. He’s sitting adjacent to Seokjin on a small table.

 

It's just the two of them today. Everyone is off doing what they’re doing and Seokjin thought it might be a good opportunity to spend some time with Namjoon. 

 

Bro, you think every opportunity is a goo-

 

“What happened?” He cuts his thought off.

 

“Hyung, I’m uncoordinated - so guess ,” he takes a bite from the chocolate sundae they’re both sharing. 

 

Seokjin rests his chin on his palm and smiles, “I’ll teach you,” he winks. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head, “It’s scary, I’m fine,” 

 

“So, you’re going to let your fear decide what you can do?” Seokjin tilts his head. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “No - I almost broke my arm , hyung.”

 

“If you break your arm, I’ll be around to be your -” he pauses, “arm?” he laughs. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes are shunned by his cheeks and Seokjin breathes in the way he laughs. 

 

He makes it so easy to love him . 

 

Oh? We're there? 

 

We've been there. 

 

Yeah, we were all waiting for you to catch up. 

 

Shut your bitch-ass mou-

 

“But no,” Namjoon says after a moment and a sip of his latte. 

 

Seokjin draws his brows, “‘No’ what?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “I don’t let fear tell me what I can do.” 

 

Seokjin nods, “Yeah, ‘cause that’s my job,” he grins.

 

Namjoon quirks his brow, “Is that so?” Seokjin can see the slight tilt on his lips. 

 

Seokjin lifts his eyes slowly and he can’t help but smile when he looks at Namjoon. A laugh bubbles out of him. 

 

Namjoon leans forward and dips his finger in the chocolate sauce and reaches over to smudge it on Seokjin’s nose, but Seokjin tilts his head back and it hits him on the mouth. 

 

Seokjin scrunches his nose up and feels the sticky sauce around and on his lips - Namjoon, of course, thinks this is hilarious. 

 

“Pass me a serviette,” he points to the other end of the table. 

 

Instead of passing him the serviette, Namjoon leans forward and pecks him on his sticky mouth. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “Good?” Thanking the lord that they have an isolated seat near the glass front of the café.

 

Namjoon licks his lips and hums, “I’m not sure, lemme taste again,” and he says with a serious frown. He leans in and kisses him a little longer this time, licking the sweetness off his bottom lip. 

 

Seokjin forgets to breathe for a second when Namjoon pulls back and smiles at him. 

 

God, what is he doing to my body?

 

Mmm, I don't know - tell him to kiss you again so we can figure it out. 

 

Seokjin stutters, “A-and?” 

 

“You wanna taste?” Namjoon sits back in his chair and asks, biting the stray chocolate syrup off his bottom lip. 

 

Seokjin nods, frowning. 

 

Namjoon leans forward, picks up his spoon and scoops a heap of ice-cream in his mouth. 

 

Instead of swallowing, he turns to Seokjin and kisses him with cold lips and Seokjin laughs when Namjoon’s tongue licks inside; because the sweet, cold ice-cream floods his entire mouth. He can taste everything .

Seokjin almost slips off his chair trying to move closer to Namjoon and-

 

And then he hears a distinct sound - a sound he’d be able to identify blindfolded with earmuffs a million miles away. It’s Hoseok’s laugh. Seokjin and Namjoon both pull away at the same time to look out of the glass screen. 

 

And standing right against the café are Hoseok and Taehyung. Taehyung has his phone camera pointed directly at them with a mischievous smile on his face. 

 

Seokjin reaches over to pick up the serviette and wipe his mouth while Namjoon gestures at them to come in. 

 

Taehyung gives Seokjin a fat, sloppy kiss on the cheek and he shoves his face away. 

 

“How? Not as good as Namjoon-Hyung's?” he snickers and pulls up a chair.

 

Hoseok is already delving into their sundae and moaning. 

 

“Where’s everyone?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Taehyung leans back in his chair. 

 

“Jimin and ‘Guk are taking a nap before the hen-party tonight,” 

 

“And Yoongs?” 

 

Hoseok shrugs, “I don’t know but he’s probably sulking because he has to go with you guys tonight,” he says, popping the sweet cherry into his mouth. 

 

“The hen-party will be fun,” Seokjin pouts, “we’ll be together at least,” he looks up to the table.

 

“Actually -” Namjoon starts, “Hoseok and I were thinking about joining David tonight,” he tells Seokjin. 

 

Taehyung whines, “You guys wanna leave us?” 

 

“No,” Namjoon answers at the same time Hoseok replies, “yes”. 

 

Seokjin snorts, “It’s fine, Taehyung-ah - we can get drunk and look at sexy firefighters -” 

 

“Actually, I think I’ll come with you,” Namjoon abruptly shouts. 

 

Hoseok snorts, “Worried, Namjoon-ah?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “No- I mean, Jin-hyung can do what he wants -” 

 

Taehyung hums with a naughty grin. 

 

Seokjin laughs, “That jealous streak is endearing, Namjoonie,” he smiles, “but I don’t think an exotic dancer in a firefighter costume is going to cut it,” he winks. 

 

Namjoon grins and tilts his head, “No?” and then his face drops into a deep frown, “I’m not jealous!?” 

 

They spend fifteen minutes in the shop before Hoseok’s feet decide they have to be walking around again - so they pay the bill and follow Hoseok and Taehyung. 

 

Seokjin reaches between him and Namjoon, and before his nerves can get to him, he links their fingers together. Namjoon looks down and gives him a brilliant smile and Seokjin feels like he might float away.

 

A few minutes of walking down a crowded alley, they come across a man and his guitar. 

 

He’s plucking a random tune on the chord on the semi-bustling pathway. 

 

Taehyung runs up to him and tells him to play something and hands him a bank note. 

 

The old man with grey peppering his beard smiles and taps his foot three times before playing the chords of an old song. 

 

Taehyung holds his hand out to Seokjin and when Seokjin takes it - Taehyung sweeps him into the middle of the walkway that smells like coffee and fresh bread. 

 

The man croons ‘ La Vie En Rose ’ and Taehyung echoes him as he leads the dance. 

 

Seokjin is laughing, he knows he can’t stop smiling when his friend closes his eyes to sing the song with gusto. 

 

He catches sight of Namjoon, and he has got the most devastating, earth-shattering, smile that Seokjin has ever seen. His heart forgets to beat the moment he locks eyes with Namjoon.

 

He sees Namjoon mouth something so subtly - as if he’s just thinking to himself - and before he can make out what it is, Taehyung pulls his arm to twirl him. 

 

“Love you, hyung,” Taehyung pulls him into a hug and squeezes tight. 

 

Seokjin holds him, “Love you too,” he tells his friend. 

 

Hoseok steps in, “Tae, dance with me - Namjoon is gonna break my toes,” and he spins Taehyung away. 

 

Namjoon is already beside him and asking him for his hand. Seokjin smiles and allows Namjoon to lead him as well. 

 

It’s a little clumsier than when he was with Taehyung but Seokjin can’t find it in himself to care when Namjoon pulls him closer. The old man has stopped singing since Taehyung’s velvety voice took over. 

 

Namjoon leans to kiss him and Seokjin pulls him in by his neck. 

 

The other man pulls back slightly, “No firefighters for you,” he mutters against his lips. 

 

Seokjin opens his eyes and laughs, “No?” 

 

Namjoon pokes his side, “No cowboys either,” he smiles as the song turns into another. 

 

It’s a little softer and the man sings a little higher. 

 

Seokjin wants to laugh. 

 

Because he is so far gone on this man. As if some random stranger might have a chance. 

 

Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

 

Exactly. 

 

They both dance until the music dims; Hoseok and Taehyung are spinning around recklessly and laughing like kids. The air is a cool but Seokjin is warm. 

 

—----------

 

Seokjin is sober. Seokjin is dead sober and he’s on his way home from a bachelorette party. Jimin started swallowing shots like it was water and Yoongi followed after, so he put down his martini and watched the dancers. 

 

Right now, Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin are babbling. Yoongi has soft tears in his eyes in the back seat. They all decided to squash beside Seokjin because the affections are running high. 

 

Yoongi currently has Seokjin’s face in his hands, “I love you so much ,” he says in a teary voice.

Jimin sticks out his hand and it knocks Taehyung’s head, “No, because I love Jin-hyung so much,” he points at Yoongi, poking his nose. 

 

Yoongi shifts his focus, he looks at Jimin and points an angry finger, “Park Jimin, you know what?” 

 

“What, Hyung?” Jimin's eyes are droopy and his face is shimmering with all the glitter. 

 

“ AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUU, ” Yoongi throws out his arms on either side and yells. The driver looks extremely amused and Seokjin is grateful he isn't dumping them on the side of the road.

 

“ Bitter-sweet - me-mories ,” Taehyung sings with all the passion his drunken self can muster. 

 

“Taehyung-ah!” Yoongi interrupts him, and Taehyung looks up with wide eyes. 

 

Yoongi is literally squished under his armpit but yells again as if Taehyung should appear before him. 

 

“Hyung, I’m here ,” Taehyung laughs and rolls his head back. 

 

Yoongi looks up at him, “Oh- Taehyung-ah, did I tell you this?” 

 

“What, hyung?” He offers a lazy grin to the roof of the car. 

 

“That I love you,” Yoongi pokes Taeyhyung’s nose. 

 

Taehyung picks his head up and plants a wet kiss on Yoongi’s lips before Jimin interrupts, “ I WANT TO KISS YOONGI-HYUNG!?” 

 

Yoongi smiles with glassy eyes and then his face droops into a frown, “Where’s Jeongguk-ssi?” 

 

Jimin’s eyes grow wide and Taehyung sits up straight, “ I love my ‘Guk -” but they hear Jeongguk’s tell-tale laugh and look to the front of the car. 

 

Where Jeongguk is holding up his camera to the rest of them and laughing. He didn’t drink as much as the rest because of his medication, so he’s relatively sober. 

 

They tried pole dancing, but Seokjin is pretty sure the three would have done it sober. Not Yoongi though, and that’s going to be funny to watch when he finds the video. 

 

Yoongi tries to stand to grab Jeongguk’s shoulder, and gives him a big kiss on his cheek. 

 

When he plops back down he sighs contentedly. 

 

“Jeongguk, send me the videos when we get back?” Seokjin snickers. He hears the younger man hum in confirmation.

 

Taehyung turns to him with narrow eyes, “Are you making fun of us, Hyung?” And sticks a very dirty finger in Seokjin’s lips. 

 

He smacks his hand, “No, I love you,” and thus the cycle of ‘I love yous’ continues until they get back to the hotel. 

 

Jimin and Taehyung follow Jeongguk like he has a flute and Seokjin is left with Yoongi. 

 

The man is leaning heavily on his arm, weeping about how much he loves Seokjin, and Seokjin doesn’t think he wants to be anywhere else right now. 

 

“Hyung, you know -” he hiccups, “You’re like my hyung, y’know?”

 

“Oh? I didn’t know-” 

 

“Well, I’m tellin’ you now , hyung,” Yoongi sticks his hands out in front of him, palms up and fingers spread. It reminds Seokjin of a little kid. 

 

He laughs softly and they both make their way down the corridor.

 

“I wanna go to Hobi,” Yoongi moans. 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “What?” 

 

“I wanna see Hobi,” Yoongi repeats, “I wanna see my Hobi,” he blubbers. 

 

“Yoongs, I don’t know if he’s back yet,” 

 

And suddenly Yoongi runs to a door down the corridor and Seokjin is more impressed at how he has that much mobility. 

 

He knocks hard on the door, Seokjin is about to tell him to stop when the door swings open. 

 

Hoseok looks tired and groggy, “Hey?” 

 

Seokjin watches Yoongi fall straight into Hoseok’s arms, and the other man catches him effortlessly. 

 

“How was the party?” 

 

Hoseok groans and pulls the deadweight to his bed, “Good,” he shrugs, trying to pull Yoongi’s shoes off, “nothing special, and yours?”  

 

Yoongi is completely out of it, lying on the bed and humming to himself with a smile on his face. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Everyone had fun,” and he smiles at their drunk friend.

 

“Didn’t drink?” Seokjin shakes his head.  

 

Yoongi suddenly bolts upright and points at Hoseok. 

 

They both stepped back with the sudden movement. 

 

“Yoongs?” 

 

“I wanna kiss you, can I kiss you?” He’s still pointing at Hoseok. 

 

Hoseok frowns and Seokjin’s eyes grow wide as he tries to contain a smile. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

Hoseok cautiously steps forward and Yoongi immediately grabs his face. He does something completely unexpected though; he turns Hoseok’s face and plants a kiss on his cheek. 

 

Hoseok grins and his shoulders relax. 

 

“Now, I have to give my Hyung a kiss,” Yoongi turns to him and Seokjin smiles so brightly, unable to find it in himself to groan. 

 

Seokjin leans down and he waits for Yoongi to turn his head to the side, but he doesn’t. He pulls his head lower and plants a kiss on his forehead and pulls him into a life threatening hug. 

 

Seokjin hugs him back and feels his heart soften, still thinking about the forehead kiss. 

 

Eventually, Yoongi flops on the bed with a loud ‘oof’ and Hoseok assures Seokjin that he’ll be fine. 

 

And that leaves Seokjin outside of his hotel room, wondering if he should ask Namjoon if he wants to go for a really early morning walk - but he’s unsure if he left the party yet. 

 

When he pushes the door open, he hears the shower running and smiles. 

 

A shower sounds like a good idea. 

 

He empties his pockets and walks over to the bathroom, and sees the steam clouding the space. 

 

“Can I join?” he asks, already pulling off his shirt. 

 

Namjoon wipes the fog off the glass and nods with a smile. 

 

Seokjin undresses and steps into the warm spray and hugs Namjoon. 

 

“How was the hen-party?” he asks. 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Good, how was David’s?” 

 

Namjoon nods, “It was alright,” he holds Seokjin under the water, “missed you.” He smiles at Seokjin. 

 

“D’you shower yet?” He asks and Namjoon shakes his head. 

 

Seokjin picks up the loofa and pours some of Namjoon’s body wash on it. 

 

Before he starts, he looks up to Namjoon to make sure this is okay. 

 

He nods and Seokjin begins scrubbing him with the loofa. Namjoon doesn’t do anything, he just stands there. 

 

Seokjin is not sure if he wants Namjoon to do anything right now, however, they haven’t done anything like this before. He’s not sure. 

 

It’s not sexual but it feels intensely intimate. 

 

Namjoon tells him about the party and the strippers and Seokjin listens and laughs as the other man lifts his arms and turns his back for him to wash. He tells Namjoon about the glitter and their friends when Namjoon turns the loofa on him and begins gently scrubbing his skin. 

 

He’s laughing at Seokjin, “You have the skin of a killer.” 

 

“If I’m Edward, that makes you Bella,” he replies as he picks up the shampoo. 

 

Namjoon almost melts onto the floor when Seokjin begins massaging it into his hair. 

 

He rinses it out and brushes Namjoon’s hair back, “Good?” 

 

Namjoon’s eyes look like they're on the verge of tears when he nods. 

 

“Namjoon?” Seokjin frowns. 

 

The other man shakes his head and smiles. 

 

Seokjin nods and pours the shampoo into his own hand and Namjoon’s hand joins his on his head. He hums and shuts his eyes. 

 

He likes this. He likes this a lot . 

 

“You’re like a cat,” Namjoon laughs. Seokjin smiles and allows Namjoon to rinse out the suds. 

 

It's only when they’re dressed in fresh pyjamas with their teeth brushed that someone speaks up. 

 

Namjoon is staring off into space, and Seokjin watches him for a moment. They’re on the bed and Seokjin is leaning on Namjoon.

 

“What are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, not wanting to invade the comfortable silence. The dim yellow light casts a heavy burden on his features, darkening the pensive demeanour.

 

Namjoon turns his head, and Seokjin watches his eyes flicker over his face, Seokjin half expects him to smile, but he doesn’t. He just looks at Seokjin for a moment, and Seokjin can feel this intense ocean in his chest pulling him under. 

 

He tucks his hand beneath Seokjin’s ear, holding his jaw.

 

 “You,” he says. Seokjin’s breath hitches and it’s loud in the quiet room. 

 

Namjoon tilts his head down and looks at Seokjin but before the words could leave Namjoon’s mouth, he nods and Namjoon kisses him. And it’s so delicate, as if Seokjin might turn to dust if he kissed him any harder.

 

It’s slow and so deep but Seokjin might as well be running a race with the way his heart is behaving. Namjoon’s hands are soft and so sure of the places he’s carving on Seokjin. 

 

And that’s exactly what he’s doing. 

 

Carving out places for his hands to wander, like his own paths on Seokjin’s body. His body, like a map drawn out for the man rolling him on his back. He cradles Seokjin’s head and settles between his legs, not quite rushing in his kisses, but Seokjin feels his body respond and grow taut. 

 

He knows Namjoon is just as affected because he can hear his harsh breaths between their lips and more than that, Seokjin feels his hands struggling to choose a place to settle on him. 

 

Seokjin reaches a hand up to caress Namjoon’s jaw, stroking over the rough expanse of skin and up to run his thumb over his cheekbone. 

 

Namjoon pulls back for a moment, and there’s not even a hair's-breadth of space left between them, and Seokjin feels his eyelashes bump his cheek when he opens his eyes. 

 

Namjoon’s eyes are softly shut, his hand tracing over Seokjin’s stomach, trailing over his waist and up his chest - his breaths are hard and shaky. 

 

Much like Seokjin’s heartbeat. 

 

Seokjin pulls him down and tries to deepen the kiss, because it feels like it isn’t enough - and when Namjoon rocks his hips, he doesn’t dare break the kiss. 

 

His fingers come up to tangle themselves in Namjoon’s hair, and Seokjin doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop when Namjoon groans into his mouth. And it feels so effortless, like water, the way their bodies are moving.

 

Seokjin pulls his hair and breaks them apart, he grazes his teeth over Namjoon’s jaw and nips at his neck, wishing he could imprint his scent on himself. Namjoon lets him, and he doesn’t laugh when Seokjin is obviously trying to breathe him in. 

 

When their lips connect again, Seokjin tries to pour everything that he’s feeling into Namjoon’s mouth and he feels himself quiver beneath his touch - trying so desperately to spell out the words that have been on his heart for months now.

 

And Namjoon indulges him in the slowness of the atmosphere. He pulls off his shirt gently, kissing down his chest and Seokjin tries to control his breathing. His kisses are soft on his skin but Seokjin feels like he’s burning from the inside out. There are small infernos wherever Namjoon lays his touch and Seokjin’s ears are on fire. But it feels new. 

 

This feels new. 

 

And it’s so quiet and Seokjin doesn’t want to disturb the ribbons of wind whistling outside and the soft hum of electricity. 

 

Namjoon isn’t just kissing him, and he pulls down his boxers to make his way up Seokjin’s thighs. He’s worshipping Seokjin, or it feels like that, and Seokjin is trying to return the energy, trying to pull him up just to look at him, to feel him - anything .

 

He reconnects their lips, but Namjoon takes his cock into his hand, stroking Seokjin softly and he can’t do much else but hold onto his neck and throw his head back. 

 

Namjoon pulls away for a brief moment and Seokjin finally resurfaces on planet earth, trying to settle his lungs. 

 

Namjoon throws the condom beside their bodies and shakes the bottle of lubricant; Seokjin nods. 

 

It doesn’t feel like sex . 

 

He supposes it does, but it’s so intense and nothing like what they’ve done before. It’s overwhelming, but Seokjin doesn’t want to stop. 

 

When Namjoon opens him up, he allows him to. He stays with Seokjin and kisses him as he prepares him.

 

Seokjin gets impatient when Namjoon breaches him with a fourth finger, pleading that he’s ready for him but Namjoon hushes him with his lips. Seokjin sobs into his mouth. 

 

Namjoon pulls off his pants with all the patience of a saint, and it takes everything in Seokjin to not jump on him like a deranged spider. 

 

You need to stop thinking about spiders during sexy times.

 

Agreed. 

 

Namjoon reaches for the condom and Seokjin is fast enough to grab his hand. 

 

Namjoon looks at him with a frown.

 

“We can leave the condom, if you want?” He rushes out, unsure of how Namjoon might feel about it.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Seokjin takes a breath and nods. He watches the other man rub the lubricant over his bare cock. 

 

Namjoon lines himself up and pushes into Seokjin at an excruciating pace. He shuts his eyes and mutters something that Seokjin can’t quite hear. 

 

Once he bottoms out, he comes to rest his forehead against Seokjin’s. He pulls out slowly, almost to the tip - and Seokjin’s entire body shudders when he pushes back into him. Namjoon doesn’t say anything, he keeps the pace steady and binding. 

 

Seokjin is begging him to move faster, with all the desperation surfacing and Namjoon just lulls him with deep, unending thrusts that are hitting him in places he didn’t know existed. 

 

Namjoon leans down to capture him in a kiss and it feels like he’s going to explode - it’s too much - and Seokjin is babbling between the kisses. Namjoon doesn’t stop. 

 

“Baby, please - please -” he moans - and Namjoon still keeps his energy fainted. Seokjin feels his head cloud and he relaxes some. 

 

Namjoon is spilling so much into the kisses he gives him. It feels like he’s writing poetry on Seokjin’s lips, biting between the lines and bruising his mouth with his -

 

Suddenly - he picks up the pace in five hard thrusts - deep and so filling that it springs tears to Seokjin’s eyes. 

 

And it’s not because it’s painful - but because he wants to tell Namjoon and he’s feeling it so fucking deeply - 

 

Namjoon is watching him and he notices the soft tears streaking from his eyes. He reaches a hand up to wipe them away so tenderly.

 

He takes both of Seokjin’s hands in his own, intertwining their fingers and bringing them to rest beside his head. Namjoon dips his head to kiss him again. 

 

He knows he’s weeping, and he knows he’s outright crying in the middle of sex but - but Namjoon guides him through it, with his gentle hands and heavy thrusts. 

 

Namjoon blinks his eyes open and Seokjin notices a little moisture in his eyes too. He pulls him down to kiss him, feeling himself getting closer to his orgasm.

 

There wasn’t ever going to be anyone else, was there?

 

And just as that thought rounds on him, Namjoon pulls back and looks at him. 

 

“ I love you, ” Namjoon whispers and Seokjin’s mind stills.

 

“ God, I love you ,” he repeats and Seokjin nods frantically and feels the flood of emotion escape him and Namjoon’s own tears fall onto his face. 

 

But the words are lost on him and so he pulls Namjoon into a wet kiss while his rhythm grows erratic - trying to shove every ounce of his heart into Namjoon.

 

It’s the first time in a while his mind is silent and at peace, but Seokjin comes untouched - and feels Namjoon’s come pulse inside of him. 

 

Namjoon supports his back as he arches up, still managing to keep a rhythm and ride his orgasm out. 

 

When they’re all emptied out and Seokjin is hiccupping from his tears, Namjoon lays him down softly. He brushes the hair from his forehead and pulls out.

 

Instead of jumping out of the bed to find something to wipe them down with, Namjoon comes to lay beside him. Seokjin has enough in him to turn his body to face him. 

 

Namjoon’s hand comes to stroke his cheek and Seokjin shifts closer to him. 

 

They don’t say anything. Seokjin just looks into his eyes - completely feeling like everything inside of him has melted down. He reaches up to poke Namjoon’s dimple. 

 

The other man tips his head and their lips meet. It’s a tender sort of kiss. So forgiving and calm. Nothing exists inside of it, and nothing outside. Just the matter of his lips. It reminds Seokjin of the kisses he’s seen in movies. 

 

Namjoon’s thumb strokes his cheek and Seokjin holds his face when they finally come apart. 

 

And he has. Come apart, that is.

 

In every possible way. 

 

He rests his forehead against Namjoon’s and pulls his hand down from his cheek. Seokjin lays Namjoon’s palm flat against his chest and shuts his eyes. 

 

Notes:

Oh so that scene with the man

the second song i had playing in my mind was "Get you" by Daniel Caesar - He has an acoustic version and MY SOUL BROTHERS

anyway someone finally slipped - how yall feeling?

Chapter 22: In Which Coolio Is a Disciple

Notes:

MERRY CHRYSLER N HAPPY KRIMSAS

AYO SO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE LAST CHAPTER BECAUSE THIS BOOK NEEDED TO END AND I MEAN STRETCHING IT OUT WAS JUST ME BEATING A DEAD HORSE
Not literally cause im not sherlock but like he was beating dead bodies but like thats even worse
dont beat dead bodies or horses
dont beat anything pls god where the hell is this even going

THE ONLY THING U SHOULD BEAT IS THIS MEA-

 

BUT I HAVE 2 MORE CHAPTERS PLANNED AS A PART OF THIS BOOK BUT ALSO THE NEXT BOOK WHICH IS MA BOI YOONGI POONGI BOONGI

AND ONE WILL BE AN EPILOGUE BUT IM MORE EXCITED ABOUT THE OTHER CHAPTER BRO

Seokjin wakes to his phone buzzing incessantly. The ringtone is softer, so Namjoon is still snoring into his ear. The phone cuts off and he frowns. 

 

He sits up slowly, trying not to wake Namjoon. He looks at him and smiles softly. 

 

Oh my god -

 

What!? 

 

He told me he loves me last night!? 

 

Yeah, and you fell asleep. 

 

No, I didn’t - I couldn’t speak - I -

 

Calm down. Tell him when he wakes up. 

 

Seokjin takes a deep breath and nods to himself. 

 

And then a huge grin spreads across his face and he can’t even reel it in. 

 

He loves me!? 

 

His phone starts ringing again and he pulls his gaze away from Namjoon and picks up his phone. 

 

He runs to the bathroom and groans at the caller ID. 

 

“Hi, Chan,” he answers shortly. 

 

There’s some shuffling and then, “Hey, Jin - I’m here -” Seokjin frowns and then his eyes widen. 

 

“Oh! Shit - I’m sorry, I overslept - give me fifteen minutes, I want to shower-” 

 

“Of course, I’ll be here,” Chan answers sweetly. 

 

Seokjin rushes through the bathroom after the call ends. He brushes his teeth in the shower and he doesn’t stop smiling. 

 

He decides that he’d be done with Chan before Namjoon even wakes up - so Seokjin can surprise him with coffee and his heart. 

 

A laugh escapes him. He’s being ridiculous but - Namjoon loves me. 

 

He said it during sex, though - does that change anything? He doesn’t know - but Seokjin decides it’s better to get it out of himself. This isn’t just his anymore - a piece of him is with Namjoon now and the longer he holds onto it - the more he's going to burn himself.

 

He dresses quickly and kisses Namjoon on the cheek before he runs out of the door.

 

Seokjin is halfway down the street before he realises he doesn’t have his phone on him. He pats down his pockets and only feels his wallet in his jacket. Sighing in defeat, he just hopes the buzzing doesn’t wake Namjoon up. 

 

It’s the same little walkway that Taehyung danced with him in. The man with the guitar has a cable-knit sweater thrown on his shoulders. The man greets him like an old friend and Seokjin smiles and waves.

 

Locating the shop is easy and Seokjin walks in. He finds Chan tapping away at his phone and slides into the seat across from him. 

 

Chan looks up and smiles, “Hi,” he greets.

 

Seokjin’s smile is miniscule, “Hey,” he nods. 

 

Chan already has a steaming cup in front of him, so Seokjin makes haste by ordering a drink for himself. 

 

He wants to go back to Namjoon already.

 

“How have you been?” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “Good,” it’s simple and it's the truth. 

 

The conversation is strained at first but after a half-hour, Seokjin finds himself laughing at Chan’s stories and adventures in America. 

 

“You know,” Chan clears his throat. 

 

Seokjin lifts his head and hums. 

 

“I am really sorry for the way I left things,” Chan tells him and Seokjin watches his Adam's apple bob in his throat. 

 

Seokjin nods and laughs softly, “You don’t have to apologise for that,” he shrugs. He fiddles with a sugar packet. 

 

Chan shakes his head and his frown is so deep, “I do, I really do - I just stood there because I was scared, Jin,” Chan looks at him earnestly. 

 

Seokjin shifts in his seat, feeling uncomfortable, “It’s in the past, Chan,” he tells him. 

 

Chan laughs and it sounds bitter. Seokjin thinks about how it sounds like Namjoon when he’s upset. 

 

“I was supposed to take you out on a date and-”

 

Seokjin sits up in his seat, “What?” he interrupts. 

 

Chan nods, “Yeah, I was going to ask you out properly,” he lifts his shoulders and sighs. 

 

Seokjin nods. He wasn’t alone in his feelings. 

 

“I moved to the States a month after that, actually,” he smiles. 

 

Seokjin snorts, “I would too if I had spiders that big in my house.” 

 

Chan laughs, “I cut ties with my father and well, yeah the spiders too,” he nods. 

 

Seokjin pulls his lips down, “I’m sorry to hear that,” he tells Chan. And he genuinely means it. Seokjin might still be rekindling his relationship with his father but Namjung never held his sexuality against him or berated him for it. 

 

Not everyone is as fortunate as him. 

 

Chan ‘tssks’ and sits back comfortably, “It is what it is.” 

 

The time runs away from them and it’s only when Chan’s phone goes off with a notification does Seokjin notice the time. They’ve been chatting for almost an hour and a half. 

 

He orders a few pastries and two caramel macchiatos to go (Namjoon has developed a sweet tooth with him). Chan hugs him and thanks him for agreeing to meet with him. Seokjin tells him that he’s proud of him. 

 

It’s a strange thing to say to someone you’ve only ever known behind closed doors, but he is. Chan left a bad situation and is happier. 

 

Seokjin can say the same for himself. 

 

—---

 

He’s walking back, trying to balance the box of sweets and coffees in his hands. He’s smiling but something feels weird. 

 

Seokjin doesn’t know why - he’s ready to lay it all out on the table for Namjoon. 

 

Maybe he’s just nervous. 

 

He tries to swallow down the feeling and he takes the lift up to his room, humming quietly to himself as he walks to their room. He wonders what he might tell Namjoon. 

 

Then he hears shouting at the end of the hall - and he frowns. It sounds like Hoseok.  

 

Seokjin frowns and his stomach drops even further. He hastens his steps and runs to their room to find the door flung open. All six of his friends are in his room.

 

Namjoon has a suitcase on the bed and Hoseok is trying to talk him down because Namjoon looks distraught .

 

He’s crying and throwing his clothes into the bag - which Taehyung is pulling out and putting on hangers. 

 

“Guys?” 

 

The whole room pauses and turns to him. Jimin’s hair is a mess and Jeongguk’s eyes are wide. 

 

Namjoon takes one look at him and turns back to Taehyung to grab his clothes. 

 

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” He feels his chest constrict with fear.

 

Yoongi turns to him, “Namjoon wants to leave and he’s not telling us why -” 

 

Seokjin turns to him worriedly, “Namjoonie, what’s going on?” He sets the box and the coffee on the small table.

 

Namjoon snorts, “Don’t fucking call me that -” his voice is hoarse. He’s been crying.

 

“What did I do?” Seokjin takes a step back like he’s been slapped. 

 

Hoseok has joined Taehyung in trying to wrestle Namjoon’s for his clothes. Namjoon sobs, as he tries to pull them back. Seokjin’s heart is breaking watching Namjoon crumble. 

 

“Why don’t you check your phone, huh?” 

 

Seokjin frowns, and Yoongi steps in, “Why the fuck weren’t you answering?” He shuts the room’s door. 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “I forgot it here - Namjoon, what’s going on?” 

 

Namjoon pulls out Seokjin’s phone from his pocket and hurls it at his feet. 

 

“Namjoon-hyung, you don’t have to leave now - you can go after the wedding and my birthday,” Jimin tries to rub his back in comfort but Namjoon pushes him. 

 

Yoongi raises his hands to signal Jimin - he shouldn’t touch him right now. 

 

Seokjin is still in shock - trying to process what the fuck is going on when he picks up his phone off the floor and unlocks it. 

 

It’s opened up to his messages. 

 

From Chan at 11:34 am: Thanks for today - I had a good time 😉

 

Then he scrolls up. 

 

From Chan at 9:57: I do - but can u get here - I’m bored

From Chan at 9:57: Come on Jin, I won’t bite 😜

From Chan at 9:45: I’m waiting for you

 

He looks up at Namjoon. 

 

“I met Chan for coffee today,” he tells him. 

 

Namjoon tenses and turns to him, “You met him for coffee ?” His eyes are narrow and he knows Namjoon doesn’t believe him.

 

“He wanted to talk, Namjoon - I just met him for coffee-” 

 

“What the fuck are you doing meeting with Chan!?” Jimin turns on him. 

 

Taehyung is just as angry, “Yeah, hyung - hasn’t he done enough-” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “How do you know about Chan?” He turns to Yoongi because he’s the only person he told who had been involved. 

 

Yoongi shrugs, “Don’t look at me - I only told Hoseok,” he raises his hands. 

 

Hoseok puts down Namjoon’s pants, “I may have told Jimin,” he says bashfully. 

 

“Of course I had to share - we don’t have secrets here, Hyung,” Jimin crosses his arms. 

 

“Jimin’s mom has a picture of his face in case he ever comes to the restaurant,” Taehyung announces proudly. 

 

Seokjin takes a deep breath and pinches his nose.

 

“Namjoon, I promise - it was just coffee,” he pleads. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head and laughs something bitter. 

 

He doesn’t believe Seokjin and he feels the frustration drawing a cloud in his head, “ Namjoon , please-” his voice is shaky.

 

God, why doesn’t he believe me?

 

Namjoon throws down whatever clothes he has in his hands with force. Taehyung jumps back and Yoongi pulls Hoseok closer to him. 

 

“ I fucking told you I loved you last night and you’re out with your damn ex? ” His voice is low and Seokjin’s arms begin to shake, “you didn’t even-” his voice quivers.

 

“Namjoon, it’s not like that-” 

 

“Then what is it like, Seokjin?” Seokjin never thought his own name would slice him like a blade. Namjoon tilts his head condescendingly, tears having dried up. 

 

“I - I,-” but his words fail him and his tears start falling - because this is such a fucking mess. And Namjoon is fucking looking at him for an answer and he doesn’t know how to fucking speak-

 

Namjoon looks at him and shakes his head.

 

He’s trying to find the words but his throat feels so choked up and like he might collapse because he’s crying and - fuck .

 

He’s fucking angry. Namjoon is fucking leaving and fuck fuck fuck - it feels like he’s being strangled. 

 

So he marches over to the closet and grabs his bag. 

 

He tugs on the stubborn fucking zip and finds what he’s looking for. 

 

He looks up and the words find him, “ It’s like this ,” his voice sounds raw and scraped and his friends are looking at him like he’s about to pull out a gun from his bag. 

 

He pulls out the stupid mixtape and the small leather pouch from the front section and flings it at Namjoon’s chest. It hits him and he catches it before they drop on the bed. 

 

But Seokjin starts before he can get a word in, “It’s like this, Namjoon - it’s fucking been like this -” he screams at him. 

 

The room is dead quiet when Namjoon looks down at the contents of his palms. 

 

“And I’ve been waiting to fucking tell you but if you fucking believe that I would ever do some shit like that - then I -” he throws his hands up, “I don’t fucking know, Namjoon.” He cries and he feels something in him break. 

 

Yoongi touches Seokjin’s shoulder, “Hyung,-” 

 

Seokjin pushes him away and steps closer to Namjoon who looks entirely lost, “ No - because I would nev -”

 

Jimin cuts him off, “Time out! Time out, everyone!” He claps his hands to draw their attention.

“Jimin-ssi, not now,” Hoseok hushes him sternly.

 

Jimin holds up a finger, “You only told him you loved him last night ?” He looks at Namjoon for an answer. 

 

Taehyung frowns, “Yeah, actually?” He looks at Namjoon. 

 

“Because it was fake, right?” Jeongguk surprisingly speaks up. 

 

Everyone turns to him in shock. 

 

“What-” 

 

“You knew !?” Yoongi balks at him. 

 

Jeongguk shrugs, “Yeah, I guess. The date thing and that pathetic kiss the night we met you,” he points at Namjoon, “I mean - I don’t know why you’d lie about it, but some things weren’t adding up,” he finishes. 

 

Taehyung nods, understanding dawning on him, "You guys did seem awfully fresh for something that long-term."

 

“So why do you want to leave -”

 

“Jiminie, it was fake,” Taehyung stresses.

 

“ Ohhhhh , and now it’s not?” Jimin catches up. 

 

Taehyung nods gravely. 

 

Jimin stomps over to stand between Namjoon and Seokjin, he raises his hands and smacks them hard on the side of their heads. 

 

Yoongi snorts, “That was needed.” 

 

Jimin points at both of them, “Don’t you ever lie like that again,” he warns. 

 

And then he turns to Yoongi, “And you - you knew this the whole time?”

 

Hoseok jumps in and puts his shoulder in front of Yoongi’s, Seokjin might have thought it was endearing if he wasn’t so upset. 

 

“We found out by chance and made Jin-hyung tell us-“ Hoseok defends Yoongi. 

 

“YOU TOO !?” Jimin yells. 

 

“We were spying , Jimin-ssi-“ Yoongi tries to reason with their friend’s wrath. 

 

But it’s a lost cause because Jimin ends up smacking both of them on the head as well. 

 

“Why would you lie!?” 

 

Seokjin ducks his head in shame. 

 

“I think we should give them a moment,” Jeongguk suggests. 

 

Taehyung groans, “But it just got spicy,” he pouts, “it’s like Jerry Springer.”

 

Hoseok agrees because he immediately seconds Taehyung, “I think we should stay just in case,” but Yoongi nudges him and he pulls his face. 

 

Jimin looks at the two of them, “ Behave ,” he instructs them. Seokjin can’t help but feel like a little child when his friends leave the room and he hears the door click shut.

 

He doesn’t want to be here right now. He’s already trying to figure out what he’s going to order at the bar and how he’s going to convince Yoongi to share his room.  

 

Seokjin drops his bag on the bed but before he steps towards the door, Namjoon speaks up. 

 

“What’s this?” Seokjin looks up and sees him holding up the small leather pouch. He feels something hurt in his chest.

 

He feels his eyes moisten and his lip shakes. 

 

This is such a damn mess. 

 

There’s nothing to lose so he admits it outright. 

 

“ I love you, Namjoon ,” he says. And it’s small and quiet but he feels like someone pulled a string through his chest. This is not how he wanted to tell him. 

 

Namjoon steps forward and Seokjin stays in place, covering his face and just weeps . 

 

He feels Namjoon’s body heat wrap around him, but he’s too overwhelmed to care.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mutters, “nothing happened,” he hiccups into Namjoon’s chest. 

 

Namjoon stays still and rubs his back, “I’m sorry, Jin-hyung,” and Seokjin relaxes further into his arms. 

 

When his crying has quietened some, Namjoon pulls his shoulders back and wipes his cheeks, “We need to talk.”

 

Seokjin sighs and nods.

 

Namjoon sits them down and rubs his eye. 

 

Seokjin feels guilt curdling his stomach, “I’m sorry -” 

 

“No, hyung, I - I assumed -” 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Why would you think that?” 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “I mean you didn’t say anything and you were just gone and then I found your phone,” he shrugs and twists his fingers in his lap.

 

Seokjin nods, trying to piece together the image Namjoon is trying to paint him. 

 

Then he laughs, “Want to know what I had planned?” 

 

Namjoon’s hands still and he looks at Seokjin to continue. 

 

He licks his lips and points to the coffee and cakes he brought back, “Well, I thought you’d still be sleeping when I got back and I wanted to surprise you,” he says. 

 

“Were you going to tell me?”

 

“About Chan?” Seokjin asks. 

 

Namjoon nods. 

 

Seokjin sighs, “I don’t know - it didn’t seem important to me. I just wanted -” 

 

“Closure?” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “I’m past it, the closure didn’t matter, so I didn’t want to cause any rifts here,” he gestures between them.

 

Namjoon swallows and nods again.

 

“I -” Namjoon gulps, “Did it - did you want anything-” 

 

“No,” Seokjin interrupts him, “No, and it didn’t change anything,” he tells him. 

 

Namjoon looks at him and the crease between his brow lightens up, “I know you have options, hyung,” he starts and Seokjin frowns, “but I - I’m sorry I got upset.” 

 

Seokjin snorts and Namjoon looks at him with wide eyes, “Options?”

 

Namjoon nods. 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “As far as I know, I only have one,” Seokjin watches Namjoon’s ears and cheeks grow rosy. 

 

Namjoon tries to hide a smile and Seokjin laughs and he feels relief with the tears falling now. 

 

“God, you don’t know how good that feels,” he laughs and his chest feels light. 

 

Namjoon offers him a small smile, “What feels good?” 

 

“Telling you,” Seokjin smiles and looks out of the window, “I’ve been stressing over this for weeks ,” he rubs a hand over his face. 

 

“And I know you might have just said it because we were in the heat of the moment, or whatever, so I’m not expecting anything here -” 

 

“Hyung - stop ,” Namjoon sits up straighter. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head and continues, “No, no - I want you to know that I am in love with you and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same - I mean I’ll get over it but that’s probably going to be really awkward for you - so you -”

 

“ Jin-hyung ,” Namjoon interrupts him and Seokjin promptly shuts his mouth. 

 

“Look at me,” Namjoon instructs him. 

 

“Can I say something?” Namjoon asks earnestly and Seokjin can hear his heart beating in his ears. He nods. 

 

“Firstly, I would like to apologise for how I reacted -” 

 

“Namjoon, it’s okay, I understand how it must lo-” 

 

“ Hyung , let me speak?” 

 

Seokjin nods.

 

“I didn’t ask you, and I just assumed -” Seokjin opens his mouth to speak but Namjoon holds up a finger and continues, “the worst.” 

 

Seokjin nods again. 

 

“Secondly?” Seokjin questions. 

 

Namjoon smiles with his teeth, “Secondly?” 

 

Seokjin looks at him and catches the teasing glint in his eye. 

 

But Seokjin is feeling a little vulnerable right now - and Namjoon must see it in the way his shoulders droop.

 

He lifts a hand to Seokjin’s face, just like he did last night, and strokes his thumb over his cheek. 

 

“Secondly,” he huffs, “I am very in love with you, Kim Seokjin.”

 

Seokjin’s entire face breaks out into a full, beaming smile - if it were possible, he’s sure his entire body would be lighting up like a star. 

 

Then he scrunches his nose, “Only secondly?” 

 

Namjoon laughs and drops his forehead on his and hums, “It’s a ‘firstly’ sort of thing, isn’t it?” 

 

“You should lead with that next time,” Seokjin laughs. 

 

Namjoon smiles and leans in to kiss him. 

 

Then they hear something bang against the door - 

 

It’s loud and it sounds like something falling. They both jump apart and frown. 

 

Namjoon walks to the door, stepping lightly, and Seokjin follows. 

 

He hears someone whisper, “ I can’t hear them anymore ,” just before Namjoon swings the door open abruptly. 

 

Taehyung is on his knees and falls to the floor and the other four take a step back. 

 

“ Guys ,” Seokjin groans. 

 

“What are you doing?” Namjoon asks. 

 

Yoongi pulls his lip and crosses his arms, “Don’t be rude , this is a public space,” he snaps at them.

 

Hoseok jumps in, “Yeah, we were just taking a stroll,” he says, trying to lean on the wall casually. 

 

“Tae was walking on his knees?” Seokjin gives them a dull look. 

 

“He needed to pray-“ Jimin answers quickly. 

 

“When the Holy Spirit calls, my brothers in Christ,” Jeongguk raises his hands and closes his eyes in conviction. 

 

Taehyung who is still on the floor pulls his hands to his forehead in as if to pray, “ As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death -“ 

 

Yoongi jumps in, “ I take a look at my life and realise there’s nothing left, ” he scrunches his face and raises his palms. 

 

Hoseok drops to his knees and throws his arms up, “ ‘Cause I’ve been blastin’ and laughin’ for so long that ,”

 

Yoongi waves his arm like he’s in church, “ Even my mama thinks that my mind is gone .” 

 

“Psalm twenty-three is my favourite verse,” Jimin smiles sweetly. 

 

“Coolio was my favourite disciple,” Namjoon snickers. 

 

Jeongguk nods, “Yeah, he wrote that after he shot Goliath-“ 

 

“ ANYWAY ,” Yoongi starts, “Taehyung-ah, maybe we should take this prayer circle elsewhere because there are sinners here,” he pulls both men off the floor. 

 

“Namjoon-hyung, what did you say after ‘Secondly’? I couldn’t hear,” Jimin blurts out, curiosity beating their ridiculous lie. Everyone else groans at Jimin and he pouts. 

 

Seokjin laughs. 

 

“I said, ‘Power and the money, Money and the Power’ ,” Namjoon starts and Seokjin snorts. 

 

“ Minute after minute ,” Hoseok continues for him. 

 

“ Hour after hour ,” Jeongguk sings with a giggle.

 

Seokjin pulls his lips, “Guys, can we talk?” 

 

“Yeah? Who said you can’t talk?” Taehyung asks, dusting off his pants.

 

Hoseok rubs his knees in pain. Seokjin winces for him because he did drop down very hard. 

 

Seokjin turns into the room and leaves Namjoon to chase his friends away. 

 

When he returns, Seokjin bursts out laughing and Namjoon snickers and comes to sit beside him. 

 

“So,” Seokjin rubs his thighs. 

 

Namjoon looks at him, “So?” 

 

“You were in the middle of telling me that you love me,” Seokjin reminds him dutifully. 

 

Namjoon huffs a small laugh, “I was?” he teases. 

 

Seokjin nods. 

 

Namjoon drops the snarky smile and his face softens entirely, “Well,” he sighs, “I do love you, hyung,” he tilts his head. 

 

Seokjin smiles and it feels like his lungs are expanding further than what he can take. 

 

“I love you,” he tells Namjoon and his face is actually hurting from smiling, “I love you,” he kisses Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon pulls back slightly and Seokjin’s heart drops slightly. 

 

“What?” 

 

Namjoon twists around to retrieve something from the bed. He reaches over and turns back to Seokjin. 

 

“What’s this?” He opens his palms to reveal the small leather pouch. 

 

Seokjin takes a deep breath and picks it up from his palm. He opens the latch at the top with shaky hands. 

 

He drops the rings into his palms. They feel lighter.

 

“I thought we were going to choose together,” Namjoon frowns at his hands. 

 

Seokjin laughs softly, “These are my parents’ rings,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon looks at him, “Hyung?” He tries confusedly. 

 

Seokjin sighs, “I didn’t know how I was going to do this,” he says. 

 

“Do what?” 

 

“Well, I mean - I forgot this wasn’t real a while ago,” he says, “and when my dad gave these to me, I got really confused,

 

I know we haven’t actually gotten to that point yet, but -,” he cuts himself off and raises his hand between their faces. 

 

“ Hyung ,” Namjoon sounds pained, “I - I can’t tak-” 

 

Seokjin’s eyes widen, “I mean, you know - you don’t have to take my mom’s ring - it wouldn’t fit -” 

 

“Hyung -” 

 

“No, I mean,” he shuts his palm and stands up, “we don’t have to do all of that -” 

 

“ Jin-hyung ,” he pulls Seokjin’s arm so he falls on the bed again. 

 

“I -” but Namjoon cuts him off and places his index finger on his own lips. 

 

“You want to give me your mom’s ring?”

 

Seokjin relaxes his shoulders, “I mean - if you don’t want -”

 

“Jin-hyung, that’s your mom’s ring,” Namjoon tells him and Seokjin frowns and nods. “You want me to wear it?” 

 

Seokjin nods and Namjoon mirrors him. 

 

And then the side of his lip lifts subtly, “So, you wanna marrrrrry me?” Namjoon nudges him with his shoulder. 

 

Seokjin’s ears burn, “It doesn’t have to mean -” 

 

“Oh, so you don’t want to marry me?” Namjoon laughs. 

 

“I’m not sure what this is, Namjoon-” 

 

“Hyung, I think we’ve been dating for the past couple of months,” Namjoon pokes his ribs. 

 

“Yeah, and how much of it was real?” 

 

Namjoon pulls his lips in displeasure. 

 

“I’m being serious,” Seokjin deliberates. 

 

Namjoon huffs, “I mean, I -” he pauses and looks at his hands, “all of it.” he finally answers, “For me at least.” 

 

“You were mad at me,” Seokjin’s cynicism overtakes him. 

 

Namjoon looks at him, “You literally dragged me into this and you were rude -” 

 

“I was not rude -” 

 

“ Jin-hyung ,”

 

“So, what? You loved me this whole time?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Well, I mean, I’ve always loved you, hyung,” and Seokjin’s heart starts its tirade again. 

 

“I think part of moving on was understanding that,”

 

“So you don’t lov-”

 

“No- Jin-hyung, you’re not the same person I loved when we were in school,” Seokjin nods, “I love that- you, but I love now -you too,” he tells him.

 

Seokjin’s face breaks out into a smile, “You love me?” He pokes just to hear it again. 

 

Namjoon rolls his eyes, “I do,” he smiles softly. 

 

Seokjin tilts his head, sly smile engulfing his eyes so much that he can barely see, “‘ I do ’ what?”

 

Namjoon pulls him close, “I love you, Jin-hyung,” he nuzzles his nose into Seokjin’s cheek. 

 

Seokjin sighs and hugs him back. 

 

And then he pulls back and gestures to the door. Namjoon nods. 

 

“YOU CAN COME IN!” Seokjin shouts and Namjoon slides his mother’s ring on his pinky finger. 

 

The door clicks open and Jimin rushes in, “Thank god - we couldn’t hear anything out there-” 

 

“ Jimin-ssi, ” Yoongi scolds.

 

Hoseok throws himself on the bed, “So, are you guys getting married for reals now?” he moans. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Yeah, you’re the maid of honour, you nosey clown-” 

 

“We all know I would kill a bridesmaids’ dress,” Taehyung plops himself right on Seokjin’s lap.

 

“You should go with something purple or blue; oranges wash out my skin,” Jimin tells them, helping Jeongguk to hang Namjoon’s clothes back up. 

 

“It’s not your wedding,” Yoongi smacks his head and goes to sit on one of the armchairs. 

 

“Oooh, we should get my mom to cater!” Jimin shouts. 

 

Namjoon nods from across the room, “My mom could do the flower arrangements,” he adds on. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “Who’s getting married!?” 

 

Everyone turns to him, including Namjoon. 

 

“Hyung, why did you lie to us about Namjoon?” Taehyung changes the subject, twirling Seokjin’s hair at the nape of his neck. 

 

He sighs and looks at his friends.

 

“It wasn’t to hurt you or lie to you,” he looks at Jimin. 

 

Jimin holds up one of Namjoon’s lacey panties and Yoongi gags. 

 

“ JIMIN !” Namjoon leaps towards him and grabs the fabric. 

 

Hoseok wakes up and tries to look at the panty that Namjoon is now trying to stuff into his back pocket. 

 

Taehyung laughs, “Is it comfortable?” 

 

“WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT NAMJOON’S PANTY RIGHT NOW!?” Yoongi yells. 

 

“How do you know it wasn’t Jin-hyung’s?” Jeongguk snickers. 

 

Seokjin frowns, “How would you know what my underwear looks-” 

 

“Namjoon-Hyung’s birthday, you wore a lingerie set, right?” 

 

Seokjin’s mouth opens in shock, Yoongi groans and places a throw pillow on his face, "I'm ready, Lord - please come fetch me," he mutters in anguish. 

 

“How- How did you-” 

 

Jeongguk shrugs, “You guys know you left the bedroom door open until Hobi-Hyung shut it -” 

 

“ Excuse me-”

 

“I seen some shit, Hyung,” Hoseok tells him gravely. 

 

“Plus, Namjoon-Hyung jumped so fast to grab it-” 

 

Namjoon groans and flops on the seat beside Yoongi. 

 

“Only Hoseok and Jeongguk were brave enough to close the door,” Taehyung tells them and Seokjin looks at him suspiciously. 

 

Taehyung puts his hands up, “Yoongi-hyung pulled our ears when Jimin and I went to see-” and Seokjin sighs. 

 

“You still haven’t explained,” Jimin looks at the both of them pointedly. 

 

Seokjin nods, “So, I auditioned for one of the productions,” Seokjin explains, “and then I landed one of the roles-”

 

“Aw! Congratulations, Hyung!” Taehyung throws his arms around his neck and squeezes. 

 

Jimin nods so Seokjin continues, “Then we got the invitation for Ji-woo’s wedding,” he explains, “Ji-woo is younger than I am,” 

 

“And my father, obviously, has been pestering me about ‘ assuming responsibilities ’ for the company and settling down,” he uses air quotes.

 

Jimin frowns, “So what does that have to do with Namjoon?” 

 

Seokjin nods, “My father cornered me and tried to jab at me with Namjoon - and so I said he could have it all,” he shrugs. 

 

“They hadn’t spoken for like a decade, mind you,” Hoseok tacks on usefully. 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “Yes, but Namjoon has been beside my father since we left college, he knows there isn’t anyone more capable-” 

 

“Did Namjoon-hyung even want this?” Jeongguk asks. 

 

Seokjin gulps and looks at Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon nods and Seokjin relaxes some, “We discussed it, and yeah, Jin-hyung didn’t force me to do anything I didn’t want to do.”

 

Jimin’s frown hasn’t eased, “I don’t understand - because I genuinely thought you guys were together.” 

 

Namjoon's eyes flick to his and Seokjin sighs. 

 

Yoongi claps his hands together, “ Ya, neh ,” he rubs his thighs.

 

Hoseok leans up on his elbows, “You know, these idiots have been in love with each other for years -”

 

“I mean, should you be speaking, hyung?” Jeongguk jumps onto his stomach.

 

Seokjin watches Yoongi’s face flush and restrains a smile. 

 

Taehyung flops off of Seokjin’s lap and onto Jeongguk and Hoseok. 

 

All hell ensues when they start to tickle him. Seokjin watches them fondly with an unconscious smile on his face.

 

“Wait - why weren’t you speaking?” 

 

“ Oop -” Yoongi pouts. 

 

“That’s a long story -” 

 

“We got time.” Jimin cuts Seokjin off. 

 

Namjoon sighs, “We were friends for years and Jin-hyung thought I was homophobic because he kissed Yoongi-hyung -” 

 

“ YOU KISSED YOONGI-HYUNG! ?” Taehyung bolts up.

 

Hoseok follows after but with a confused frown and Seokjin cringes. 

 

“It wasn’t like that -” 

 

“I need to leave -” Yoongi starts getting up but Jimin pushes his shoulder so he sits back down. 

 

“When was this?” Hoseok tries to ask nonchalantly. 

 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, “We were kids and -”

 

Hoseok sits up a little more, looking at Yoongi, “I didn’t know you and Jin-Hyung-” 

 

“Because we didn’t -” 

 

“I asked Yoongi to break the ice for me,” Seokjin rushes out. 

 

Jeongguk is sitting on the bed, watching the chaos like a tennis match, when they hear his eerie laugh. 

 

“What?!” Seokjin snaps. 

 

Jeongguk just giggles more and shrugs. 

 

“Okay, when was it?” Hoseok asks. 

 

Seokjin and Yoongi look at each other. 

 

Yoongi turns to him, “Your sixteenth.” 

 

He watches the emotions flicker on his face and Yoongi sits forward as if he’s waiting for Hoseok to bolt.

 

“Is that why you guys were in my room!?” 

 

Seokjin feels the heat rise to his ears, “That is not the point here-” 

 

“ Damn ,” Hoseok flops back onto the bed, “it’s cold out in these streets.” 

 

Jimin comes to sit by Hoseok’s head and pats his shoulder in comfort. 

 

“So, they kissed and… ” Taehyung prompts Namjoon to continue. 

 

Namjoon shrugs, “I got upset and then…” he looks at Seokjin for help. 

 

“I triggered him by mistake-” 

 

“And then I was in therapy for a while.” Namjoon finishes up neatly. 

 

“ What ?” All three maknaes parrot. 

 

“We got trauma - what the fuck else do you want?” Yoongi cries. 

 

Taehyung shrugs, “You should really watch Gabor Mate, Hyung,” he says. 

 

“What?” 

 

“He’s actually so amazing, gave me new perspectives on some things,” Jimin nods and winks at his partner. 

 

Jeongguk nods and Hoseok groans. 

 

“You guys really made out in my bedroom?!” Hoseok sits up and twists his body to face the rest of the room. 

 

“ NO ONE MADE OUT-” 

 

“Yoongi-hyung, did you use tongue?” 

 

Yoongi immediately pulls the sandal from his foot and flings it at Taehyung’s head. He ducks it and grins.

 

“Yeah, it doesn’t make sense - they’re both bottoms, it wouldn’t have worked anyway,” Jimin rationalises and the rest of the room nods in understanding. 

 

“Yoongi, pass me your shoe-” but Yoongi’s remaining sandal smacks Jimin upside the head.

 

“WHERE DID I LIE!?” Jimin defends. 

 

Namjoon laughs and Seokjin grabs the nearest pillow and throws it at him. 

 

“What did I do?!” Namjoon  

 

Seokjin narrows his eyes at him. 

 

—------------------------

 

It’s an hour before everything has quieted and everyone decides they need showers before dinner. Namjoon tucks the cassette tape into his coat pocket and winks at Seokjin. Namjung invited the seven of them to a lovely restaurant around the block and Seokjin is a little excited to see his dad. 

 

That’s new. 

 

Tell me about it.

 

Seokjin feels the ring around Namjoon’s finger as their hands join and they make way to their family. 

Chapter 23: Chapter Twenty-Two

Notes:

Listen capricorn season was trying to beat my ass and i will not apologise for having this up late - like i was drunk for the entirety of december and then january was a kick in the teeth
Goddamn, every one was just goin thru massive energetic shifts and i was having insane dreams and shit
atleast pisces season is here, so i can rest and my moon can have peace

anyway my cat (Shuri) got spayed yesterday and it reminded me of Poongi's cats so i was like "Oh fuck me-"

So this chapter is the lead into the next chapter in this universe. I think I mentioned before, that Yoongi's story is going to be different cause i'm pushing in some shadow work for my boi - its a bit more poetic and descriptive than Jin's pov but I was channeling my Pisces moon for this chapter

also i wanna rename the chapters - like they're so boring ew

I do hope yall enjoy it :) love ya

The restaurant’s lighting is soft and the music is light. Yoongi loves the way the music hugs the room in gentle accents, complimenting the yellow tints on the walls. 

 

He is the second to arrive at the table. Namjung smiles at him and he swallows deeply and bows to his friend’s father. 

 

“Min Yoongi,” Namjung claps his hands, “how are you?” he smiles. 

 

Yoongi looks at him with wide-eyes, suddenly deciding that the room was too small. He can feel the air closing around his neck. 

 

He nods, “Good, sir,” he nods and takes his seat, “are you well?” 

 

Namjung nods and he looks so happy that it’s almost unnerving. 

 

As far as Yoongi is concerned, Seokjin’s father is just extending a hand towards his son. But Holy fucking shit, why did he have to involve the rest of them? 

 

Yoongi sits back and fiddles with a napkin, praying that someone arrives soon. 

 

“Did you bring a date to the wedding?” 

 

Yoongi looks up and his mouth is agape. 

 

Seokjin’s father is asking me about a date?

 

“Ah, ahjussi,” he laughs. Luckily the waitress comes and takes their orders. Yoongi and Namjung order the same bourbon. 

 

He thinks he’s out of the clear when Namjung speaks up again. 

 

“You haven’t answered,” he points out and gratefully takes the tot-glass the waitress brings back to them.

Yoongi tastes his drink, and the smokey, aged whisky whets his mouth. 

 

“It’s good,” he lifts his glass. 

 

Namjung nods, “Twenty-years has a special flavour,” Yoongi nods in agreement. 

 

“You should come by the estate when you have the time,” Namjung tells him, “you might appreciate my collection,” he offers. 

 

Yoongi looks up. He doesn’t detect any sort of sly intention so he smiles, “I would,” he says. 

 

“And no,” he sips. 

 

“No date?” 

 

Yoongi shakes his head and swirls the liquid in his glass. 

 

Namjung leans forward and clinks his glass against Yoongi’s, “It’s been over twenty-five years since my last date, so,” 

 

Yoongi laughs, “Cheers,” he grins. 

 

“Min Yoongi,” Namjung sighs, and Yoongi tenses up. It feels like he’s in trouble. 

 

“What do your parents do? I never heard much about them,” Namjung poses and sniffs at his glass. 

 

Yoongi feels his neck tick and he pulls his hands to his lap. 

 

“I - I’m not sure,” he tells his friend’s father. 

 

Namjung lifts his brow, “You aren’t in contact?” 

 

Yoongi looks deep into the amber liquid of his glass and wishes he could dive in. 

 

He shakes his head, “No, sir,” he tells him, “not since I turned eighteen.” He takes a deep sip. 

 

What Yoongi doesn’t say is that he feels barrels of guilt consuming him from the pits of his stomach when he thinks about them. 

 

It’s a strange thing. 

 

Because he’s talking about them, and he knows he is - but it’s only when he closes his eyes and he’s looking at them; or when he hears a particular song his father played on his days off, or if he sees a woman with golden earrings - it's then that he feels them like tar on his body.

 

Namjung laughs, “I was the same way,” he looks into his glass, “or am,” he shrugs. 

 

“Are your folks still around?” 

 

Namjung smiles and nods, “It’s been over fifty-years since I’ve spoken to them,” he tells Yoongi, “they’re… comfortable.” 

 

“Comfortable?” 

 

Namjung nods with no explanation. 

 

It’s less than ten seconds of silence before Jimin greets the both of them jovially. He smiles and kisses Namjung on his cheek. Taehyung repeats the motion but Jeongguk smiles and bows slightly in greeting. Yoongi smiles. 

 

Jeongguk-ssi, he sighs. 

 

Seokjin and Namjoon join them shortly after. The ring on Namjoon’s pinky finger glints in the light and it doesn’t escape Namjung’s attention. 

 

Namjung nods with a soft smile at Namjoon and winks at his son. 

 

Yoongi shifts in his seat and takes a swig from his glass. 

 

The table is alive with chatter and Seokjin keeps leaning over to kiss Namjoon on his cheek. Literally, every opportunity he gets, his mouth is on Namjoon. 

 

Yoongi smiles to himself. 

 

It’s about damn time. 

 

His friends look happy and it warms something in him. 

 

It's cold in your chest, I deserve this. 

 

Rude.

 

His leg bounces beneath the table in anticipation. 

 

Where is he? 

 

He sits back and listens to the conversation flowing around the table and adds in a comment here and there, but mostly, he keeps throwing glances at the entrance. 

 

Taehyung, who is sitting beside him, places a hand on his knee. Yoongi looks up at him and mutters a small apology. 

 

“Want me to call him?” Taehyung whispers back. 

 

Yoongi shakes his head. 

 

Hoseok is an adult. He can do as he pleases. 

 

“HEY GUYS!” His voice booms throughout the restaurant and everyone turns to find Hoseok standing sheepishly at the door of the restaurant. He gratefully hands over his light coat to the attendant.

 

Jimin is already on his feet, and the rest of the table stands to greet him. Yoongi reluctantly stands - they saw each other less than three hours ago. This is absolutely unnecessary. 

 

So why are we standing?

 

Taehyung shifts out of his seat and goes to sit between his partners and Yoongi internally groans. 

 

They are so damn adamant. 

 

Hoseok slides into the seat beside him and scrapes his seat closer to Yoongi’s own. 

 

“Should we order something to start?” 

 

Taehyung groans, “I’m so hungry,” he drops his head onto Jeongguk’s shoulder. Namjung smiles in amusement. 

 

Namjung downs the last bit of his tot and looks at him, “Another?” Yoongi drinks the remainder of his and nods.

 

The waitress comes and takes their orders and Yoongi smiles at her gratefully. He knows their lot is a handful. She notes down everyone’s drinks and the few starters they’ve all agreed to share from. 

 

“Is it official then?” Namjung asks. The table turns to him and finds him looking pointedly at Namjoon and Seokjin with a slight tilt in his lips. 

 

Seokjin’s face breaks out into a wide grin, Namjoon smiles without his teeth but it squeezes his eyes so much that everyone can see the affections running through them. 

 

“Yes,” Seokjin announces and turns to look at Namjoon. 

 

Namjoon’s smile opens a bit more once his eyes land on Seokjin.

 

“Have you told your mother?” 

 

Namjoon frowns, “Not yet,” he shakes his head. 

 

Namjung laughs, “I owe her a trip to India,” he smiles fondly. 

 

Seokjin whips his head around, “What?”

 

Yoongi is also curious, leaning in a little closer to hear how India and their relationship connect in any way. 

 

Namjung takes his and Yoongi’s shots off the tray before he speaks, his silver watch sparkling at Yoongi. 

 

“See,” he clears his throat, “when Namjoon and Seokjin were younger,” he sips his drink.

“When they were younger, or well, it was after you were born,” he looks at Namjoon, “your parents brought you back to the States,” Namjoon nods at Namjung. 

 

“Yoon-suh and I had a deal,” 

 

“What was the deal?” Jimin asks, sipping on something colourful. 

 

The older man’s cheeks lift, “I said they’d probably figure it out once they passed their thirties.” 

 

“And Ajjumma?” Taehyung asks. 

 

“She thought it’d be much earlier,” he snickers, “she estimated around fifteen or sixteen,” he laughs. 

 

Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin - who were trying to sip their drinks - all end up choking around the same time. 

 

Yoongi watches Hoseok’s eyes water and bangs on his back as he tries to cough up whatever went down the wrong pipe. 

 

“What?” 

 

Jeongguk giggles beside Namjung. 

 

“She wasn’t wrong,” Seokjin is the first to break away from the coughing fit. 

 

Namjung raises his brow, “Do explain.” 

 

Seokjin shrugs, “It was part of the reason we fell out.” 

 

Namjung ‘tssks’ and nods in understanding, “Couldn’t you have held it in for another three years,” he pulls his lips as if he’s annoyed. 

 

Yoongi snorts, “It was excruciating , Ahjussi - don’t say that,” he blurts out. Seokjin flicks his eyes over at the title but Yoongi quickly averts him.

 

Namjung looks at him and gives him a knowing look. His eyes flicker between Hoseok and Yoongi, “I suppose you’ll understand when you’re in love,” he lifts his brows once at Hoseok. 

 

He couldn’t possibly know -

 

Yoongi feels his entire face start to burn, so he crosses his arms and diverts the conversation, “Okay, so if Yoon-Suh won a trip to India -  what would you have won?” 

 

“Yoon-suh would have moved in with me,” Namjung replies easily. 

 

Namjoon frowns, “ What ?” 

 

Jeongguk is looking very deeply into his soda now. 

 

Namjung laughs lightly, “It’s not what you’re assuming,” he sips his scotch, “we’re both widowers and it is not easy being alone,” he says. Yoongi watches Seokjin fiddle with the straw in his drink.

 

“Before your mother and Namjoon’s father passed away, she would have had to hand over her Beetle,” he smiles, “ I changed my terms once they’d both passed.” 

 

“But your mother was ever so stubborn,” he tells Namjoon. 

 

“Beetle - as in the car?” Hoseok asks and Namjung nods. Seokjin looks at Hoseok like he’s stupid. 

 

“You wanted Wilson ?” Namjoon exclaims, to which Namjung shrugs. Yoongi knows Wilson, but he hadn’t realised the car had a name. It’s a red shell that sits at the far end of Yoon-suh’s yard, aged with rust with vines consuming it.

 

“I didn’t even know she wanted to go to India,” Jimin mutters. 

 

A lovely grin spreads across Namjung’s face and it makes him look younger, “Yoon-suh was a hippie,” Yoongi snorts.

 

Seokjin lifts his head in defiance, “You said you were best friends, didn’t you?” 

 

Jeongguk shrugs, “So?” 

 

“Birds of a feather,” Yoongi smiles. 

 

“ Min Yoongi ,” Namjung sternly calls his name but he watches the small smile spread across his weathered face and Yoongi’s shoulders relax some.

 

“I’ve seen the Fleetwood Mac records in your collections,” Namjoon snickers. 

 

“ KIM NAMJOON! ” Namjung scolds but the entire table is giggling and not at all interested in his faux offence. 

 

When the waitress returns with their starters, Namjung sulks, “Bring me the twenty-five, twenty years isn’t enough,” and she laughs at their antics. 

 

“Yoongi, would you join me?” 

 

“You never have to ask me twice about Macallan,” he replies. 

 

The waitress sets down their starters and pours the wine pairings for them.

 

He lifts the wine and sniffs. 

 

It’s floral and light. He never particularly cared for whites (or any wine in general, save the cheaper ones in his youth -should they get him drunk enough), but the citrus tickles his nose. He takes a sip and winces, it’s very sharp. 

 

He watches the tables' different reactions to the flavour profile and smiles.

Namjung has a very strong frown, something like a school principal, and nods at his glass.

Hoseok tilts his head and shivers, probably because of the acidity. 

Seokjin’s face is calm, and he clicks his mouth a little like he wants to hear the lemony tones sing to him. 

Namjoon’s reaction mirrors Namjung’s, except he swirls the liquid lightly around the goblet to settle the sting. 

Taehyung groans in gratefulness, savouring the wine. Jimin, however, is more refined. Jimin licks around his mouth for any stray droplets and shrugs. 

 

Jeongguk, and Yoongi think it might be his favourite, has his hand wrapped around the stem of the goblet - and similar in the way Seokjin clicks his tongue, Jeongguk does too. Only, he looks so far away, like he’s daydreaming. 

 

He wonders if he’s in an orchard. Or if Jeongguk pinches the leaves as he walks by them. Perhaps even picking a ripe orange from a branch. Peeling it and watching the effervescent spray of the peel catch the sunlight. He can see him lifting his fingers to his nose, inhaling the deep scent of chlorophyll and citrus. He’d walk through, right until the rows opened to a blanket of grass with wildflowers blooming with every second step -

 

Yoongi watches the liquid in his own glass swing around and reaches out to one of the platters. He pulls some sort of white fish and hums at the harmony in his mouth. 

 

Everyone chatters over the platters and the wine. And when the main course arrives, they’re all a little more than tipsy. 

 

Hoseok leans right into Yoongi when he laughs, Taehyung’s eyes are closed as he listens to the saxophone player in the centre of the room. Namjoon and Seokjin are being atrocious and hand feeding each other bites of their dessert. 

 

Jimin and Hoseok are engaged in a steady conversation about the art of movement. Namjoon adds his piece every once in a while (when he’s not drowning in his best friend’s eyes or whatever). Yoongi is trying his best to concentrate on Namjung and the conversation they’re having but Hoseok’s hand is on his thigh and it is warm and -

 

“A lot of the work we put out rely on the scores,” Namjung says and it sounds slightly slurred but Yoongi isn’t entirely paying attention, “but according to Namjoon and the ‘R and D’ department, your ear has a particular talent,” he tells Yoongi.

 

Yoongi frowns, “Sorry?” 

 

Namjung shrugs and Hoseok laughs, his hand slides higher. 

 

“All of the projects you’ve signed on with us have been fruitful, a lot of the feedback we receive focus on the score,” Namjung smiles at him - it's an upside-down smile. Seokjin smiles exactly the same way. 

 

Is he proud of him?

 

No, no - that can’t be right. Namjung doesn’t even like him. He knows he’s just entertaining him for Seokjin’s sake. 

 

But it still has his cheeks heating - he ducks his head and laughs. 

 

“How would you feel about being a full-time contractor?” Namjung tilts his head. 

 

Yoongi’s eyes grow wider, “Full-time?” And something beats insanely hard in his chest. 

 

It’s me, you absolute buffoon . 

 

I’ve been waiting for this my whole damn life - 

 

“I- I would love that,” he nods with enthusiasm. 

 

Namjung’s face curls up in a brilliant smile, “We’ll touch base when we get back,” he nods. 

 

Yoongi knows there’s a smile on his face - even as they both change the topic. 

 

Hoseok’s hand doesn’t seem so daunting. 

 

Holy fuck - 

 

The table eventually wraps around them with one conversation and they are engulfed. The alcohol flows freely now that the courses are complete and everyone is fed. 

 

Jimin, ever the culprit, is ordering the table rounds of tequila shots. 

 

Namjung is, surprisingly, on board. 

 

Yoongi’s liver cringes from the mixing of all the alcohol, but mostly from last night. But he’d be damned if he ever turned down a tequila shot. 

 

That’s alcoholism, hon. 

 

See you in AA -

 

Christ, no-

 

He looks at his tequila shot warily. 

 

How bad can rehab be? 

 

I don’t know - you should ask Jimin -

 

Real nice. Bring up some tasteful memories to lighten the mood.

 

What?! He’s the only one that would know -

 

Yeah and I’m the only one that would know what Conversion Camp was like but you don’t see them throwing that at me!?

 

Why would you even bring that up!? 

 

Yoongi downs the shot and swallows his thoughts.

 

He picks up the lime and sucks on it like his life depends on it.

 

Namjung laughs, “The agave spirits not for you?” 

 

Yoongi shakes his head, “Maybe mezcal on a good day,” 

 

Namjoon snorts, “Mezcal is only for the bad days,” he laughs. 

 

“ Exactly my point,” Yoongi shoots back. 

 

Hoseok smiles at him, “You look cute today,” he reaches out and pokes his nose. Yoongi feels all the blood in his body rise to the sides of his face. 

 

He pushes Hoseok’s hand away gently, “Shut up,” he mumbles. 

 

Hoseok tilts his head, “You do ,” he smiles and pinches his cheek, “you’re always so cute.” Yoongi groans and pulls back. 

 

And it is barely there, but Yoongi sees the slight drop in Hoseok’s smile. The guilt roils in his abdomen. 

 

So, he does the dumbest thing, because - really? Hoseok doesn’t deserve this. He hesitantly wraps his hand around Hoseok’s beneath the table. 

 

He feels the other man jump slightly at his touch (his hands are always freezing - so he assumes it's for this reason Hoseok frowns at him) but Hoseok sits a little straighter and laughs a little louder with their hands tucked together. He’s drunk, though, so he can regret this tomorrow. 

 

But god, this man is just beautiful. 

 

And Yoongi cannot even begin to fathom how his smile manages to look brighter each time he looks at him, or how there seems to be a faint glow around him whenever he walks into a room. As if he has Christmas lights strung up beneath his skin. 

 

Why the fuck he wants to hold Yoongi’s hand is beyond him. 

 

Eventually, the dance floor opens to the patrons. Jimin and Hoseok are, obviously, the first out of their seats. The third person is an absolute surprise. 

 

And not just to him. 

 

It’s a very inebriated Namjung who hooks his hand around his wrists and pulls him to the dancefloor. Now, this is definitely a dilemma he’s had before (considering his friends and ex-family) however, he doesn’t want to piss off Seokjin’s dad and resist. So, Min Yoongi allows himself to be dragged to the dance floor to dance to salsa music - all for Seokjin. 

 

What the fuck is even going on in my life anymore? 

 

Hoseok immediately starts to guide Namjung on his steps and Yoongi stands awkwardly before Jimin steps closer and starts to cheer him on. 

 

“I haven’t done this in years,” Namjung laughs, clumsily following Hoseok. 

 

Yoongi snorts and shouts back, “There’s a few things you haven’t done in years,” he laughs, remembering their conversation from earlier. 

 

There’s a moment where he thinks he’s fucked up and all his business with Mr. Kim is out the window because of his drunken tongue. The moment is overtaken by the guffaw Namjung wheezes out. Yoongi’s shoulders relax and he swears he will never speak again - 

 

“You know what, Min Yoongi?” He turns, leaving Hoseok to spin around Jimin. 

 

“What, Ahjussi?” 

 

“ You can be my date for tomorrow,” He grins and points at Yoongi.  

 

Yoongi laughs when he sees the absolute horror strewn across Jimin and Hoseok’s faces. They’re both trying to articulate something but he just leans on Namjung’s shoulder for support. 

 

“Absolutely!” He straightens up and salutes his friend’s father. 

 

The lazy smile he gets back is nothing short of thrilling. He’s laughing, he’s drunk and he has a date for the wedding tomorrow afternoon. It’s thrilling . Hoseok and Jimin nervously start laughing, trying to catch up with the two. 

 

Seokjin must watch all of the commotion, or someone signalled him to come see what the hell is happening, because suddenly, Seokjin is awkwardly shimmying his shoulders between them.

 

“So, guys,” Seokjin tries casually (he fails), “What’s goin’ on here?” 

 

Namjung pulls his son closer and he sees the shock on Seokjin’s face before his friend covers it up with an award-winning smile. 

 

Yoongi thinks about how much Namjung (post-alcohol) reminds him of Yoon-suh. Do they even stay in touch with each other? They both have the same sort of energy when they’re drinking. It’s not too difficult to see how they might have stayed friends for so long when Namjung’s layers of a self-righteous business mogul falls away. 

 

He is invested in as much tomfoolery as Yoon-suh is. Yoongi wonders how they met, and if they were always the way that they are. 

 

He briefly wonders how his parents met, but he buries the thought as quickly as it crawled up from its grave. 

 

Jeongguk comes onto the floor and he and Taehyung mirror each other. Yoongi laughs and watches them with joy. They are so in-sync with one another, even with the way they’re so different with their bodies. Jeongguk is so precise with the moves he makes, so calculated; whereas Taehyung just allows his body to move with the music. His eyes are constricted by his smile, just moving according to whatever he is led to.

 

Seokjin is doing god-knows-what with his father. Yoongi is certain that Namjung has the only remaining rhythm in the Kim family. Yoongi is laughing at him, all the while trying to admire Jeongguk and Taehyung and the plain carelessness that Seokjin embodies.

 

Actually, Yoongi thinks that’s one of the reasons he became friends with Seokjin in the first place. He knows his friend gets shy and is generally in his head for the most part of any interaction - but when it comes to embarrassment? Seokjin had no damn shame. Guns blazing with everything he does. Yoongi thinks he has seen Seokjin blush more in the past few months with Namjoon than he has in the entirety of their friendship. 

 

God, he loves his family. 

 

Namjung pulls his son closer when Namjoon joins them, “Min Yoongi is my date for the wedding,” he laughs. 

 

Seokjin frowns and turns to Yoongi with a serious expression, “What?” 

 

Taehyung laughs behind him, “You have to call Yoongi-hyung ‘Appa’ now,” Jeongguk snorts and Yoongi loses it. Seokjin wrinkles his nose. 

 

Hoseok and Jimin are on their own vibe, welcoming the few people who join them on the dancefloor. 

Namjoon looks at the interaction and Yoongi sees him hold back a smile, trying to entertain his newly (?) acquainted boyfriend (he’s a bit fuzzy on Namjoon’s relationship status). 

 

“Goddamn, Jin-hyung - how many men are you planning on calling ‘dad’?” Hoseok teases - everyone laughs. 

 

Namjung wrinkles his nose, “There are some things a father shouldn’t know,” he chuckles.

 

He laughs so hard that he saunters off back to the table. Namjoon is hugging Seokjin - who looks like a cat trying to escape a bathtub. Hoseok is at the other end of the dancefloor, with Jimin, cackling at the murderous look on Seokjin’s face.

 

Yoongi finds a glass of water on their table and gulps it down like mana. It’s only once he puts the glass down that he tastes the subtle flavour of vodka covering his mouth. He frowns and lifts it to sniff, it doesn’t smell like anything. 

 

“That’s not water, hyung,” Hoseok says from behind him and swipes the half-empty glass from Yoongi. He slips his hand into Yoongi’s pocket, and he’s fairly certain of what Hoseok leaves behind.

 

Hoseok drinks from the glass before he’s interrupted by the smack at the back of his head. Seokjin laughs when he spits his drink out. 

 

“Aww, Jin-hyung -” Hoseok groans, picking a napkin to dab himself. 

 

When he runs it over his lips, a particular memory floats up and tickles his mouth. He gulps and turns around. 

 

Why can’t we just -

 

The thought is cut off by the mouthful of Macallan that sat in his glass. 

 

He checks the time on his phone and groans to the high-heavens. 

 

23:38, it reads. 

 

The number thirty-eight has been following him around. Every-fucking-where he looks - there is a thirty-eight stashed conveniently in sight. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon smiles at him from across the table. 

 

Yoongi shakes his head, “Nothing.” 

 

How does he explain that he thinks he’s losing his mind, or the universe is conspiring something and placing random ass numbers everywhere, every time he wakes up. 

 

If anything, Namjoon is exactly the person to ask. 

 

Namjoon stands to leave from his seat and Yoongi calls his name.

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Actually,” he clears his throat, trying to find the words, “I have been seeing stuff ,” he says.

 

Namjoon frowns, taking his seat again, “Stuff? As in…” he trails off. 

 

“Butterflies - and,” but before he could complete his sentence, Namjoon is grinning at him like the absolute fool he is, “numbers.” He completes. 

 

“What numbers?” 

 

Yoongi frowns, “Six-six-six and uh - thirty-eight?” he tells the other man, unsure. “Oh, and nine-eleven!” He adds abruptly.

 

Namjoon pulls down his lips, a frown colouring his thoughts as he glances back to the dance floor. 

 

“What?” Yoongi barks impatiently. 

 

Namjoon shakes his head, “I mean, they all have different meanings,” he shrugs, “I can send them to you,” he tells Yoongi. 

 

Yoongi frowns, “Meanings? Who sent them?”

 

Namjoon smiles and shrugs again, “Your guides, your angels, the gods - who knows?” His shoulders shake in amusement. 

 

“But I mean -” Namjoon hums for him to continue, “it's not real , right?”

 

Namjoon’s mouth lifts at the corner, “Just as real as that triple-six across the room,” he points to the other end of the restaurant. Yoongi swings his head around, and staring at him hauntingly, behind Hoseok and Jimin dancing to Bachata music, is the glaring number.

 

Guides? My guides? Who the fuck is guiding me -

 

Yoongi lifts himself off his chair and marches to the brightly lit bar. 

 

He glances at the leather-cased drinks menu and cringes at his previous orders. That’s a whole car .

 

Don’t be dramatic. 

 

It’s fucking ridiculous. 

 

Yeah, and you’re still sitting at the bar, reading the ridiculous menu. 

 

Yoongi shakes the voice off and orders something with a tasteful price. 

 

In what world is Johnny Walker Blue a ‘tasteful price’. 

 

Yoongi sips his drink. 

 

Sorry, what was that? 

 

I concede. 

 

— — — — — — — 

 

The night, or rather the early part of Wednesday morning, finds him in Hoseok’s hotel room. 

 

He knows he shouldn’t be here. He’s leading him on, but by everything he’s ever known, Hoseok has the most divine lips and hands. They make Yoongi feel like he’s worth something, like he’s everything and more. 

 

Which he knows isn’t true. He’s leading his best friend on. 

 

I shouldn’t be here . 

 

But all thoughts fly out of the window when Hoseok starts unbuttoning his shirt, making sure his fingers are gentle when he pushes it over his left shoulder. 

 

I love this man - I love h-

 

“Hyung - hyung ,” Hoseok calls out, so Yoongi pulls back from the heat of his mouth. 

 

“What?” He frowns.

 

“Are - We’ve been doing this, uh - more frequently,” Hoseok brushes a stray strand of hair away from his forehead. Yoongi tenses because he knows exactly where this is going. 

 

Yoongi silently takes a step back and shakes his head, “I-”

 

It’s Hoseok’s turn to frown, “You’re not ready, right? Can’t we atlea -” 

 

Yoongi picks up his shirt, cutting Hoseok off entirely, “I’ll leave.” He sees the light slowly spill out of his eyes.

 

He shrugs his shirt on, sighing when Hoseok places his hands on his.

 

“No, no, no,” he rushes out and shakes his head, “please, you - we can do this - I’m sorry.” He watches the panic rise on Hoseok’s face.

 

And it's not the guilt that grows in his abdomen like a piece of dense nothing, it's the shame . The shame for allowing his friend to remove his shirt again, shame for doing this to his friend who is asking for what he has but Yoongi knows. 

 

Yoongi knows better. 

 

Because if Hoseok, the reason the sun rose in the morning and the reason the moon mourned it’s absence - if he fucked up with Hoseok - like he has with everyone he has ever tried to love, Yoongi would never forgive himself. 

 

Isn’t that kind of what you’re doing? 

 

Yoongi allows himself to be absorbed in the soft, apologetic hands of the man he loves, knowing that his skin might as well be made of barbed wire.

 

Hoseok touches him so instinctively, but all of his actions are so hesitant - and Yoongi really wants to stop whatever the fuck he’s doing to Hoseok - but he can’t .

 

You won’t - there’s a difference. 

 

When Hoseok preps him for his cock, Yoongi’s mind goes blank. 

 

— — — — 

 

Yoongi startles awake, panting - trying to figure out where the hell he is (or where Biggie is, because she usually sleeps right above his head). 

 

His eyes slowly adjust to Hoseok’s dim hotel room. Hoseok is sleeping deeply, mouth slightly parted and hair sticking up in every which way. 

 

Yoongi reaches forward, he traces his finger tip over the bone of his cheek, down to the perfect bow of his lip. The light outside is still shaking off the dawn, a dull and slow start to the day. He imagines that any day waking up to Hoseok would be the gods pouring ambrosia, thick like molasses, over him. He’d never hunger again, so as long as the kisses of his mouth only spelled his name. 

 

You are absolutely fucking selfish. 

 

Yoongi sighs softly, and quietly crawls off the bed. Hoseok doesn’t start or wake, instead he takes a deep breath and smacks his lips. 

 

Yoongi doesn’t regret walking away from Hoseok. He knows what is best for the both of them and their friendship - and Yoongi was not in the business of slaughtering beautiful things.

 

He quietly dresses and leaves the room with a soft click of the door. 

 

— — — — 

 

Jiwoo looks breathtaking. She walks down the aisle with a deep red lehenga and it covers her feet - giving the illusion that she might be floating towards David at the other end. David’s family is christian, but Jiwoo chose to honour his family’s heritage with the dress and style. She is adorned in gold jewellery, complete with a nath trailing from the ring and tucked into her hair. She looks radiant. 

 

And David looks like his soul might leave his body by the look of absolute awe on his face. His eyes are spilling over with tears and affection, his hand covering the bottom half of his face. One of his groomsmen laughs proudly, shaking David’s shoulder in excitement. Yoongi can’t imagine what might be going through David’s head at the sight of his soon-to-be-wife. To be rendered absolutely speechless at the sight of her. 

 

He’s in the row directly behind Seokjin and Namjoon - and it's a slight shift in their shoulders. He knows Namjoon probably reached out to hold onto his partner’s hand, but when Seokjin turns his head - Yoongi watches the late morning sun glimmer in his friend’s eyes. Namjoon kisses him softly and Yoongi watches Seokjin’s ears turn bright red, before he drops his head to rest on Namjoon’s shoulder. 

 

Namjung leans closer to Yoongi, “You want to hold hands, too?” He asks and Yoongi looks at him, flabbergasted. 

 

Then he sees the teasing smile on Namjung’s face and snorts. Namjung doesn’t budge, instead he holds out his palm and Yoongi chokes on his own spit. 

 

Is he serious?

 

Yoongi cautiously sets his palm in his hand and feels immensely awkward, even more so when he catches Hoseok’s glances between them. He wants to crawl out of his skin. 

 

Namjung chuckles and squeezes his hand, “You’re a good date, Min Yoongi,” he whispers while the couple say their vows, “but you have the roughest hands I’ve ever felt,” and with that, he pulls his hand away. 

 

“I’ve been meaning to invest in a dishwasher,” Yoongi snickers and Namjung has a tiny lift at the corner of his lips. 

 

Seokjin must hear him because he turns to them with a frown - surveying Yoongi’s expression, and then his father’s. Namjung gives nothing away.

 

Yoongi smiles.

 

— — — — 

 

Cain arrived sometime the day before, and he’s absolutely enjoying the experience. The guests are too. 

 

Once the formalities and the heinous speeches are wrapped up, the band and their gorgeous instruments leave the reception. Now, everyone has a little bit of liquor running through them. Lose feet and tongues, surrounded by hearty laughs and murmuring aunties - it is a lovely evening. 

 

Hoseok doesn’t quite ignore him, but he does limit their interactions.

 

They’ve hooked up five times since the first, and each time they have, Hoseok makes it his life mission to steer clear of any relation with Yoongi for a week or so. He guesses they’re stuck in the same building, at least until they get home - so he’s thought about how it might look to the others. 

 

Yoongi stares down at his dish. He thinks someone from the table on his left called it “sojee” - it tastes of cardamom and cinnamon, and has a thick consistency. Something akin to porridge and cake. It’s rich, very sweet, but delicious, and as he swallows his third spoon, he thinks about joining Yoon-suh on her trip to India when the serving-cream settles all of the flavours in his mouth. 

 

A lady at the table across from theirs yowls and her husband laughs, “Elachi-trap,” he giggles and the rest of the ladies, covered in rich sari materials and mundani’s draped over their shoulders, snort. 

 

“So, you gonna find love?” An older woman with a similar face jibes. 

 

She leans on her husband, “How much more love can I find?” She kisses his cheek. 

 

The other ladies laugh and Yoongi bites on something hard beneath the pudding. He quickly spits it out and Seokjin groans across him, “Gross-” 

 

“There’s something in the pudding,” he grumbles, picking up the offending pod from his bowl. 

 

“Cardamom?” Namjung questions. Yoongi nods as the spike of flavour recedes on his tongue. 

 

Namjoon hums beside Seokjin, “It’s so aromatic - I wanna eat ten-million bowls of it-” he mutters, already digging into his partner’s serving. Seokjin whacks his spoon with his own and he sees Namjung laughing silently from the corner of his eye.

 

Taehyung and Jimin have taken to the dance floor. Yoongi wants to know where their sources of energy stem from because the whiskey is still making everything in his stomach turn to acid, and his body feels like it's been run over by Namjoon’s shitty Prius. 

 

Namjung, on the other hand, proves to be a very tolerant date. He’s ordered them both a shot of whiskey from the bar. Yoongi’s stomach bubbles at the thought but he doesn’t mean to be disrespectful. So, he shuts his mouth and thanks his friend’s father. 

 

And then a thought occurs. 

 

Wow, what a miracle -

 

“How come you’re not mingling?” 

 

Namjung looks at him for a moment, and Yoongi is afraid he might have asked the wrong question. 

 

“I don’t like mingling,” he tells him simply, “in recent years, Namjoon has taken that role for me,” he smiles at his future-son-in-law. Yoongi’s shoulders slump in relief. 

 

Yoongi frowns, “You run a whole company full of people,” he says. 

 

Namjung shrugs, “I’ve found that I don’t quite enjoy empty conversations.” 

 

“You’re speaking to me.” 

 

Namjung sips his whiskey, “Perhaps this conversation isn’t quite as empty as you’d thought.” Yoongi’s face creases even more. 

 

“What could I possibly offer you in conversation?”

 

Namjung turns his head and looks at Yoongi, contemplating him and it’s the not the most intimate situation he’s had with a man, but he feels so fucking naked right now. 

 

He looks like he’s calculating his response and when he opens his mouth, his whole expression changes, as if he wants the subject to pass him by. He says, “Well, it’s not about affairs with younger women or the terrible hand you’ve been dealt at a blackjack table,” he sips, “and for that, I’m grateful.” 

 

Yoongi looks into his glass and nods, “What do you want to talk about, then?” 

 

Namjung smiles at him, “Where were you born?” 

 

Yoongi gulps and answers in a small voice, “Boston.” He looks over at the dance floor before looking back at him. 

 

Namjung eyebrows shoot up, “You were born here?” Yoongi nods in confirmation.

 

“I was born in Daegu,” he tells Yoongi. 

 

Yoongi snorts, “My folks lived there before they moved to the States.” 

 

“Oh,” Namjung frowns, “my father brought my sister and I here before I turned twelve.” Namjung has a sister?

 

“They’re not in Korea?” Yoongi receives a shake of the head.

 

“They live in Massachusetts,” he pauses and then, “where are yours?” 

 

Yoongi shrugs, “Last I saw them, they were still in the city, but-,” he shrugs, “that was about eleven years ago.” 

 

“May I ask-” but before Namjung could finish his question, the bride is in front of them asking them for a dance. 

 

Jiwoo is in a different outfit, more subtle, but her smile and radiance isn’t something Yoongi thinks she could be separated from. 

 

Namjung takes her offered hand with grace and sweeps her into a simple step as he chats with her. Yoongi watches as he branches off to dance with his son when the groom steals his newly-wed wife away. Yoongi snickers behind the glass of whiskey. Seokjin is rarely loose enough to dance without the stiffness in his shoulders. 

 

Always, always thinking. 

 

Namjoon isn’t much better, but Yoongi thinks he sort of looks like a prince with all the sharp and broad angles of his suit. Yoongi thinks it's cute that he knows the lyrics of the songs Cain plays during his set. Even when they start playing hindi music, Yoongi recognizes a few tracks from movies he’s watched over the years; Namjoon, Hoseok, Jimin, Jeongguk and Taehyung follow the all the women draped in colourful skirts and scarves on the floor. 

 

Namjung is back next to him after a lady threw her purple scarf around his neck, trying to draw him closer. Yoongi is laughing when he finally seats himself, a thin sheen of sweat coating his forehead. 

 

— — —

 

Yoongi is watching their small circle sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Jimin. Jiwoo and David are both clapping and glowing. Their wedding and reception had been tiring, and everyone is doing their best to keep the jovial attitude up for Jimin. 

 

Hell, the bride and groom extended their stay at the hotel for Jimin entirely, just so Jiwoo could celebrate his birthday with him before they leave for their mysterious honeymoon destination. 

 

Yoongi looks at the colourful cocktails set in front of the nine of them. His is bright blue and smells deceiving. If Jimin had anything to do with the orders, he knows they are anything but safe. He’s probably going to be hanging off the rafters before the night is over. He assumes Jeoonguk’s is a mocktail since he’s already halfway through with no effect. 

 

Yoongi watches the evening pass by them again. The dancing, the terrible, drunken decisions, and well  - if Yoongi is being honest - he doesn’t just watch them. He’s participating with them. It’s only when the tattoo artist places the needle against his skin that he comes back to himself and realizes what the actual fuck he’s doing. Hoseok is beside him, holding his hand as the needle breaks through and draws the lines against his neck. 

 

The ‘7’ is supposed to be symbolic of the seven of them: Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon, Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk. 

 

Jeongguk already has a whole sleeve running up his arm and Jimin has a few tattoos that he can easily cover for work if need be. Namjoon has his not-so-mysterious linework. 

 

The rest of them are absolute virgins when it comes to tattoos - but he can’t say the thought never crossed his mind. 

 

Yoongi knows that David and Jiwoo left after some of the dancing, they needed some sleep to be up early for their flights in the morning. 

 

So, what he’s doing in a dingy tattoo shop that sort of smells like a hospital with the amount of distilled alcohol wafting in the air - he has no damn clue. He can’t even remember whose idea this even was, nor can he actually feel the pain the unsavoury needle promised. 

 

“Yah, hyung - doesn’t it hurt?” Hoseok asks him. 

 

Yoongi keeps himself still, “No,” he answers simply, “I can’t feel anything.” 

 

He hears the woman with the tattoo gun snort, “How much did you drink before coming in?” She wipes his neck. 

 

“Not sure,” Hoseok answers for them, “it’s his birthday,” he points at Jimin, who is now staring down at his fingers in awe. 

 

Seokjin is wailing on the other side of the shop and Namjoon is trying to comfort him, while his own leg is being tattooed. Seokjin’s was done a while ago, he insisted that he went first since he was the oldest. He hasn’t stopped whining since. 

 

A few short minutes later, Yoongi and Namjoon are done - and that marks all of them with the number seven. 

 

Jimin pays for all of their questionable decisions and Yoongi hangs around the front of the store, a Marlboro between his fingers. He still feels sort of dizzy - but the cigarette is grounding him (and keeping him from falling asleep). 

 

Hoseok finds him outside, while the rest are looking at different designs. 

 

He stands, facing Yoongi, and places his head on the crook of his shoulder - he shivers when Hoseok’s hand lays a claim on his waist, “Come to my room tonight?” He mutters against the sensitive spot beneath his ear. 

 

Yoongi tries to keep his calm, pulling a drag, “I thought you were avoiding me,” he laughs. 

 

Hoseok groans and Yoongi is drunk enough that he leans into the vibration, “Are you coming or not?” 

 

Yoongi can’t help himself when he answers with, “What if you pass out on me?” 

 

Hoseok pulls his head back and laughs, “Then you can tuck me into bed,” he pulls the lapels on Yoongi’s jacket and plants a wet kiss on his mouth. 

 

“ Ew ,” Yoongi almost smashes into the storefront’s glass and Hoseok jumps a foot away from him. They both turn to Jeongguk, who somehow has an ice-lolly in his hand. 

 

“Where the fuck did you get a popsicle?” Jeongguk just grins and walks back into the store. 

 

“Do you think he’ll -” Yoongi looks at Hoseok worriedly but Hoseok’s face drops before he can finish.

 

He doesn’t say anything, instead, he pulls out his extra key card and hands it over to Yoongi before walking into the shop. 

 

It is the lesser evil, he repeats to himself, he doesn’t want to wound up involved with someone like me. 

 

His thoughts are interrupted by the groan he lets out when he sees the stupid number hanging on the sign across the road.  

 

‘555’ ?

 

Huh . That’s new.

Chapter 24: Epilogue

Notes:

YALL I FORGOT I HAD THIS LAST BIT TO WRITE AND I PLANNED SOMETHING LONGER BUT LITERALLY THE WORDS WEREN'T COMING BECAUSE I ALREADY STARTED YOONGI'S STORY LMAAAAAOOOOOOOOO

here's the shortest chapter ever

 

A year later:

 

Namjoon is rocking on his feet, hands fiddling with his hand in his pocket. He looks at his wrist. 

 

Where the hell is Jin-hyung?

 

He’s looking around, watching the people grow antsy around him as well. He’s about to pull out his phone and just call him when he hears someone complaining about the hand-soap from behind him. 

 

Very loudly. 

 

“Smell my hand?!” Seokjin pushes his fingers right in front of his nose. 

 

Namjoon pushes his hand away and laughs, “Sniff your fingers?” Seokjin just gives him a dull look and crosses his arms. 

 

“They haven’t opened the gates yet?” Seokjin asks, trying to step on his toes, trying to see behind the arrivals gate. It’s really no use - it’s a glass door. But he watches Seokjin stand tall, eager to catch sight of their parents. 

 

Seokjin is almost as tall as him, but he’s grown a little rounder around the edges in the past year. Namjoon has too, with his stomach softening at the expense of spending lazy mornings curled up against Seokjin. He probably doesn't know it, but Namjoon watched Seokjin's shoulders trickle down from his ears and his posture rest around him - as much as he likes to challenge him. So, it's been a while since he's seen his (official) fiancé rise to his full height.

 

He can say as much about himself too. It took a lot to release the tension he'd been carrying in himself, but he feels almost like liquid around Seokjin now. It's easy. It's safe, and everything he could have hoped for. 

 

He supposes Seokjin wouldn’t scold him for staring right now - he’s a bit preoccupied. 

 

Seokjin grabs the board from Namjoon’s hand and rolls it open. A bunch of glitter drops from the board and Namjoon smiles brightly at the terrible strokes on the board. It’s all written in Hangul, horribly, in pink and red glitter - with cute little flowers and vines running along the sides of the board. Namjoon reads it all the same. 

 

“엄마 & 아빠'' the sign reads. 

 

Seokjin told him that he’s never waited for his dad at the airport before, and Namjoon tried to leaf through his memories, trying to see if Namjung ever had anyone waiting for him on the other side. He came up short. 

 

“Cool, ‘cause Yoongi just got here,” Seokjin tells him, interrupting his thoughts.

Namjoon sees the first few people trickle out of the gates. Some people walk straight through, not stopping for anybody. His heart softens at the sight, and he sends a smile to a few of them. 

 

“They never come out yet?” Namjoon spins to look at Min Yoongi, looking younger than he has in years - in a pale pink sweater. 

 

“Hey, hyung,” he reaches out to hug Yoongi. His friend hugs him tight, feeling like wisps of light. 

 

Seokjin shakes his head but just as he’s about to answer, they all spot Namjung pushing Yoon-suh’s giant suitcase, followed by Yoon-suh with Namjung’s substantially smaller suitcase. They’ve both got backpacks hanging off their shoulders and the biggest smiles Namjoon’s ever seen. Seokjin holds the poster even higher, bouncing around as Yoongi laughs and claps his hands in excitement. 

 

The distance is short lived once they pass the gates and run into them. The golden Indian sun has darkened their skin a bit. It’s all hugs for a moment - and Namjoon can almost feel the heat of the sun they've absorbed shine on him. Then they turn to Yoongi.

 

Both Yoon-suh and Namjung take to fawning over Yoongi, and the colour in his cheeks, Namjoon joins in - watching his friend grow bashful at the compliments. 

 

And then Namjung steps back, and it’s such a subtle movement that no one notices it. Namjoon continues to pinch Yoongi's cheek with his mother. Namjoon watches, from the corner of his eye, as Seokjin walks around everyone to hug his dad and welcome him home. 

Notes:

I'd like to thank everyone who stayed for this journey haha. This story doesn't really have anything to do with BTS, I liked their dynamic and their names and I guess they fit the story I had in my head. (Also, Jin is incredibly beautiful pls gawd).

However, I'd like to make it clear that Yoongi's story is going to be entirely different. I mean with Jin, he saw a lot of signs and omens (I hope you picked them up - the gardenias, the number of crows, the prices, the cardamom etcetc - I actually learned how to spell 'cardamom' writing this and its embarazing cause im a whole english teacher - I thought it was called 'Elachi' in english too lmaooo). Jin was good at distracting himself

Yoongi isn't going to be that dismissive which is gonna be fun

There's 3 endings in this little epilogue (I have drawn so much inspiration from Golden Girls, and I think the old-timers deserve a story - but that's once I'm done with Yoongi).

ANYWAY HERE'S TO YOONGI AND HOSEOK'S STORY AND YOON-SUH FOR BEING MY BESTIE

also pls stay safe this season, mercury and pluto are both retrograde and its eclipse season (which is actually so fitting for what i have planned lol - but like when does anything ever go according to plan? This fic was supposed to end at chapter 10 lmaooo)

Thank yall !!! go listen to reiki and drink water

Chapter 25: NOT A CHAPTER JUST AN UPDATE

Hey y'all So I just wanted to let you know that Yoongi & Hoseok's book is now up and being updated. Thank you for being so kind in the comments, and so supportive with Words to Say. This is actually the first story I've ever finished lmao so I appreciate your patience. You can find the SOPE fic here!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Young Hearts Run Free