Chapter Text
Leo dribbled past Gerard in training and Neymar howled for five whole minutes.
Unsurprisingly, Gerard stalked towards him and attacked his sides, pinching whatever patch of skin he could reach, while Neymar was busy cackling and twisting away from him. The coach yelled at them to focus, and they had to end their battle, Gerard's arms wound around his shoulders.
Gerard rested his chin on Neymar's head and Neymar tried to subtly shake his head to throw him off, but Gerard followed his movements perfectly.
Leo smiled at them. “You're both children. What time are you mamas picking you up?”
Neymar muttered, “What about your mom?” and was met with Leo's amused and condescending smile.
Gerard snorted and let go of him. “If you don't have a good come-back, don't make any.”
The coach cleared his throat and they got back to training. Neymar abandoned Gerard and Leo in favor of Dani and Rafinha, who were young and wild and playing around behind the coach's back.
The training session went nicely, and the locker-room was as noisy as ever.
Neymar caught sight of Leo, going out of the shower, hair wet and dripping, and he stalked towards him. He slipped an arm around Leo's shoulders, grinning, and quietly taking in Leo's scent. Dani said it was creepy the way he jumped on people when they were only wearing a towel, but Dani was also currently naked and singing using his phone as a mic.
Leo didn't protest the contact, allowing Neymar to touch him and to follow him back to his locker. He gave Neymar the quiet, affectionate smile he always had around Neymar. Neymar had once thought this was a smile that was intended for him only. Then he'd seen Leo smile that same quiet, affectionate smile to a little cousin, and he'd realized it was Leo's children smile.
Neymar had refused to talk to Leo for two days afterward. Until Leo had looked at him, confused and lost, and Neymar had forgiven him on the spot. Later, he had rationalized that it might be Leo's children smile, but Neymar was the only adult to whom Leo smiled like that. Gerard had snorted at the term adult when Neymar had brought his findings to him later.
“You want to come by? I've bought a new game, I need people to try it out.” Neymar asked, mouth close to Leo's ear to make himself heard amidst the babel of the locker-room.
Leo nodded, “Sure.”
Neymar turned around, “Geri?”
Gerard nodded his acceptance, and motioned at Neymar's arm around Leo's shoulders with raised eyebrows.
Gerard wasn't very supportive of Neymar's crush on Leo. More than that – Gerard though his crush on Leo was a'childish confusion'. This, of course, had led to Neymar making Gerard his confidant, and he would not stop until Gerard had been convinced of the genuineness and beauty of Neymar's love for Leo. Additionally, Gerard had been Leo's best friend for years, and his advice was quite useful.
Neymar hadn't know Gerard and Leo for that long after all. They both were a year older and studied different subjects than him. Their dorms weren't even in the same building.
He'd met them when he had signed up for the college football club. He remembered his first day there – his first practice had been about to start, and Neymar was running late. Dani hadn't waited for him, and once in the locker-room, Neymar had been utterly lost. He had wandered for several minutes, desperately trying to find the toilets, and had just resolved to the unthinkable and pee in the showers when he had bumped into a small man.
The small man had been Leo. Neymar may have drowned him into a flow questions then, trying to ask where were the toilets, and Leo had looked slightly nervous but he'd eventually put a hand on his shoulders to quiet him down, smiled, and pointed him in the direction of the toilets. Neymar swore it was Love then.
That, and the fact that Leo had explained to the coach that the new guy would be late. But really, if Neymar was honest with himself, it also had everything to do with Leo being a small brute, a tiny God, a lilliputian deity, who had been smiling shyly at Neymar's waving one moment, and dribbling past four defenders another. Neymar had watched from the sidelines, mesmerized and stunned, suddenly wishing to play and have this tiny man pat his head and congratulate him.
Dani said his metaphorical tail wagged every time Leo did so much as pat his head.
Gerard had been a bonus on the side, Leo's giant best-friend, who tackled Neymar at trainings and then grinned down at him, and sat on Neymar's back when Neymar tried to counterattack. Gerard was fun and played with him, and despite calling his crush on Leo delusional, he listened to Neymar's rants and never told any of it to Leo.
Neymar, as he was wont to do, had managed to sneak into their little duos quite fast. Really, he'd sneaked into everyone's duos quite fast. There weren't duos with Neymar, only trios. And Neymar would know no respite until he was the lead singer of all of them.
–
He was putting drinks on a trail when Gerard cornered him into the kitchen of his and Dani's shared dorm room.
“You're trying too hard.”
“I'm not. I'm acting perfectly naturally,” Neymar answered offhandedly, neatly putting the beers on the trail.
Gerard snorted. “You're laughing at everything Leo says. Worse, you're laughing at his jokes.”
“His jokes are funny.”
“No they're not. Even Leo's mom don't laugh at Leo's jokes.”
Neymar huffed. “Well I do, because I get him. We're made to be.”
“That again,” Gerard groaned.
Neymar glared. “What? It's true. I love Leo like I never loved anyone.”
“Just because it's new and different doesn't mean it's love.” Gerard sounded tired, as though they had had this argument a million time, and really, they had.
“Yeah how could I forget you're an expert on love.” Neymar muttered.
“Well, I'm--”
“Oooh right, your mysterious darling. The one you always brings in argument yet no one ever saw her. Him. You won't even tell me that.” He pointed his finger at Gerard, “You won't even tell me that because you don't know your crush gender because your crush is a lie!”
Gerard frowned at him for several seconds. “Why do you care so much about who I like?”
“Well two reasons,” Neymar said, holding up one finger, “either that love is a lie you use to back-up your arguments, or,” he held up another finger, “you're not lying but keeping secrets from me even though I tell you everything about my love life, which is extremely insulting, and so I chose to believe you're a dirty liar.”
Neymar left the room, dodging Gerard's hand reaching for his head.
Back in the living-room, he squished himself next to Leo on the floor, cackling as all characters on screen ganged up on Jordi.
Leo was focused on the game, staring at the screen. Leo hated losing, no matter the game, and when he failed to win this battle, he almost threw his controller away and slouched against the sofa.
Neymar grinned at him and handed him a beer. Leo threw him an annoyed look, before his eyes softened and he took the offered token.
“I want a rematch before I leave,” Leo said, with a playful smile on his face.
“Well, you can stay as long as you want. This is a curfew-free place.”
Leo made a non-committal noise, and considered him for a moment. He searched his face, and seemed to find what he wanted there because he smiled again.
“I can't. I'm busy tonight.” Leo said mysteriously, the smile at the corner of his lips suggesting Neymar should ask more.
“What are you doing?”
Leo's smile spread on his face, a shy edge to his obvious happiness. “I have a date.”
Neymar stopped mid-movement, the can of coke against his lips.
“What?”
That wasn't Neymar's voice. The game had stopped, and Neymar realized their conversation had been eavesdropped on.
“Leo has a date?” There were several whooping noise and catcalls, and Jordi sighing of jealousy in the background. “Who's she?”
There was definitely a flush on Leo's pale skin then. Neymar stared at him dumbly, lost as to what the expected reaction was in these situations. He didn't even know the girl, it seemed unfair to be jealous, yet Neymar's stomach was churning, and he felt the childish need to grasp Leo's sleeve and tell him not to leave him behind.
He averted his eyes away from Leo's blushing cheeks and shining eyes, letting them wander on the TV, the wall, before they finally met Gerard's stare. Neymar blinked several times, hanging onto Gerard's undecipherable eyes while questions were thrown Leo's way.
Neymar jumped when Dani flicked his ear, and ruffled his hair, telling him to get beers again with a pointed stare and Neymar gladly took the offered opportunity to leave the room.
In the kitchen, Neymar passed water on his face, breathing deeply. He waited a few minutes before shaking his head. Sadness and self-pity weren't in his policy, and if he had to feel bad about himself, he'd do it later, in the privacy of his room.
He went back to the living room calmer, and the talks had drifted back to a more interesting topic – how many times could they kill Jordi in a single game? (Jordi muttered 'always the same'). The blush on Leo's cheeks had disappeared, along with Leo himself a few minutes later, who took his bag and bid his farewell with a shy and hopeful look in his eyes.
The others followed some time later and Dani had to give Jordi a ride back to his parents' house. Gerard stayed behind.
Neymar slumped on the couch and Gerard sat next to him, putting a comforting hand on his thigh.
“If I don't really like him,” Neymar said, voice slightly hoarse, “then why am I sad?”
Gerard squeezed his thigh briefly.
“It'll pass,” he whispered.
Neymar had never minded much Gerard questioning his feelings. He took it as a challenge, and he knew that at the end of the day, Gerard would support him no matter what. Yet, suddenly, this short, vague sentence whose primary purpose was to comfort him made him angry, angrier than he had reasons to be.
“It'll pass? Because this is not real sadness, right? Because my feelings aren't real feelings, right?”
Gerard took his hand back, rising his hands in an appeasing gesture. “That's not what I said.”
“Yeah, but that's what you mean.” Neymar jumped off the couch so he had the height to glare down angrily at Gerard. “It'll pass, it'll pass quickly, because I'm not actually heartbroken and everything is just one big delusion!”
Gerard's eyebrow ticked, and Neymar could see he wasn't appreciating much Neymar taking his frustration out on him.
“Well, that's not what I said, but yes that's what I think.” Neymar was about to protest but Gerard stood up, and Neymar suddenly had to look up not to break eye-contact. “There's no love in your eyes when you look at Leo. Only admiration and adoration.”
“Stop that! Stop telling me how I feel. You don't get to do that, nobody gets to do that,” Neymar hissed, fists clenched at his sides, and ready to go against Gerard even if he stood no chance and it was unlikely Gerard would even indulge in this fight.
“You're so---” Gerard stared him down for several seconds. Finally, he muttered, “you're a child.”
Before Neymar had the time to answer, Gerard sighed and the fight seemed to leave his body.
“Look, this is your life, but you're hurting yourself pointlessly. Leo doesn't see you like that, not in the slightest. He doesn't even like guys.”
“I could make that change.”
Gerard looked at him sadly, “You know it doesn't work like that.” He ruffled his hair. “I'm sorry. You're right, I'll stop discrediting your feelings. But I don't like seeing you sad.”
Neymar looked up at Gerard, vision partially hidden by the hand Gerard kept on his head. Gerard was looking down at him sadly and apologetically. Neymar leaned forward, letting his head fall on Gerard's chest, wrapping his arms around his torso.
Gerard returned the hug, holding him and Neymar breathed deeply into Gerard comforting scent.
“You could have told me he had a girlfriend,” he said, voice muffled against Gerard's shirt.
“I hoped it might end before you found out.”
Neymar lifted his head to smile up cheekily at Gerard, “So you thought there was a chance it wouldn't work, uh.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Gerard pulled Neymar's hood up over his head to hide his eyes.
Neymar leaned against Gerard's torso again, comforted by the firmness underneath, the feeling it wouldn't yield and it wouldn't fail, like a strong wall, a fortress, who couldn't be torn down, neither by the time, nor by the onslaughts. Gerard smelt musky, like stability and solidity and comfort. It had always bugged Neymar, how Gerard smelt, because the first words Neymar ever heard him say were 'stink bomb!', before a horrendous odor had filled the locker-room after Neymar's first training.
Yet, Neymar supposed it wasn't that surprising, that Gerard would smell like comfort. Jokes could cheer you up and reassure you in down time, and Neymar never felt as safe as when he was laughing his heart out surrounded by friends and people he trusted.
Neymar sighed deeply and slowly detached himself from Gerard. He reached for his hood, to lower it, but he was stopped by Gerard. Gerard pulled on his hood, keeping it over his eyes. Neymar tried to fight against his hand, and Gerard pulled harder, until Neymar had to bend his neck.
They started fighting like that, Neymar pinching Gerard's sides, and kicking his shins, and Gerard trying to bend him in half. Neymar laughed as he reached for Gerard's belt, pulling his pants down to hinder his movements, and the he proceeded to shriek when Gerard took an abandoned can of beer and poured it on his head.
Thus began a very perilous water fight.
When Dani came back, 15 minutes later, Neymar was completely drenched, and the only wet spot on Gerard's clothes (minus his pants, lost in the struggle) were due to Neymar using his body as a weapon in a last-ditch effort to get Gerard wet.
Dani joined in the fight, and ganged up with him so they could overpower the giant and defeat him. Together, they managed to corner Gerard into the shower, letting the cold water soak him completely. Dani emptied beer cans on Gerard's head, gleefully whispering 'golden shower'.
Neymar giggled safely behind Dani, taking a million pictures of Gerard drenched in water and beer, knowing perfectly well Gerard would avenge himself and looking forward to it.
He didn't think about Leo until he was lying on his bed. He just fell asleep.
–
“I know you don't want to be there,” Gerard said eying him doubtfully, “but you could have made an effort.”
Neymar looked down at himself, “I did. It took me one hour to pick my outfit.”
Gerard laughed, a mocking smile on his face as he messed up Neymar's perfect haircut.
Neymar always put thoughts into his outfits, but in this case Gerard had a point – he'd rather not to be there.
Leo had been dating that girl, Antonella, for two months now, and there were no signs of them breaking up. Neymar, surprisingly, didn't think about it too much, but the moments he did – when Leo rejected a night-out because he had a date – it felt like a punch to the guts, and Neymar was overcome with the fear that Leo would soon not care about him at all.
Gerard kept true to his words, and he hadn't said anything to Neymar about his feelings. Neymar had been the one to come to him eventually, whining about this irrational fear of abandonment and of Leo feeling bored of his presence, until Gerard had grown tired and muttered 'you don't need to love someone to fear they'll leave you'.
That's all he had said about the subject, and for some reason Neymar had found comfort in these words.
Still, tonight, Antonella was having a party at her flat, and she'd told Leo to invite a few of his friends. Neymar had felt unreasonably happy that Leo would invite him, that annoying freshman who'd been following him around like a puppy for months.
Gerard had picked him up, and Neymar had fidgeted in front of the door, wishing Antonella wouldn't be as pretty as Leo said, she wouldn't be as benevolent as Leo said, maybe she wouldn't be at all, maybe there would a big zit on her nose.
Leo had opened the door and introduced them to Antonella, and there were no zits on her face. She was nicely dressed, nicely perfumed. She had seemed surprised by Neymar's outfit but she had smiled and it hadn't looked mean. Also, she had laughed at a joke Neymar made, but she hadn't laughed at Gerard's joke a few minutes later, and that meant a lot, too.
Leo didn't stand too close, but he didn't stand too far, and he didn't smile too much but he smiled, and he leaned into her when she leaned into him. It was discreet, and it could almost have been nothing, but the few months Neymar had known Leo were enough for Neymar to recognize it was something.
There was something, where Neymar had hoped to see nothing.
Yet, Neymar watched Leo, sitting next to her, watched them interact and watched Leo smile shyly when one of the guys congratulated him. He watched, and he couldn't feel mad.
He felt a hand on his hair, messing his hair. Neymar looked up from were he was sitting against the wall and met Gerard's eyes. Gerard sat down next to him and took Neymar's drink out of his hand.
“So,” Gerard said, looking straight in front of him at Antonella leading a shy Leo into dancing.
Neymar turned his head too, watching the scene unfold. That was cute, and Leo seemed to be actually trying to follow her steps.
“He likes her.”
Gerard hummed.
“He never liked me.”
Gerard didn't say anything.
“She likes him too.” Then Neymar scrunched up his nose in disgust and turned to Gerard, “She laughs at his jokes!”
Gerard finally turned towards him and raised an eyebrow.
“Nobody laughs at Leo's jokes, they aren't funny,” Neymar exclaimed.
Gerard burst out laughing, slapping his thigh.
Neymar huffed and pulled his knees against his chest, resting his arms on them.
“I thought I'd be jealous,” he said pensively.
“You're not?”
Neymar shrugged. “I don't know. I thought I'd be jealous of the attention he gave her but--- it's not the same. The attention he gives her isn't the same. And if I went there right now and interrupted their moment, Leo would let me. And she'd smile.” Neymar grimaced and turned to Gerard again, “I know that, I tried several times.”
“Of course you did.”
Neymar turned back to the couple, resting his head on his crossed arms. They both watched silently as Leo whispered something in her ear, and she laughed and whispered something back. They were close as they danced, but not inappropriate, just swaying lightly to the music.
“You really think he won't lose interest in me?” Neymar asked, voice quiet, and even to his own ears he sounded like a child.
“How could he? You're an annoying pain in the ass. You're impossible to ignore ; he'll start limping in a few years because of you.”
Neymar burst out laughing, trying to elbow Gerard in different places of his body.
Gerard dodged and handed his drink back to him after taking a sip. “Come on, show me some of these Brazilian moves,” he said as he stood up and extended a hand to him. “That dance floor is dead expect for these two love-birds and it's starting to get uncomfortable.”
A 'dance floor' had been improvised in the middle of Antonella's living-room, and Neymar followed Gerard there after downing his beer in one go.
He drank too many beers in one go.
He had had a weird feeling in his stomach all night, being filled with the sentiment that things would go on just the way they were. He couldn't find it in himself to be jealous, he couldn't find it in himself to be angry. He was feeling mostly fine, feeling better than when he had first come in, and he didn't know what to make of that.
It felt as though Gerard had been right, with his 'adoration isn't the same as love' nonsense. Whatever it was, it still was an important enough feeling that Neymar went all up in Leo's face to make sure he wasn't forgotten, but not important enough that he felt like crying when Leo walked away.
Neymar was confused and he didn't like confusion, but he found it tasted better with some beers to drown the feeling.
He hadn't drank that much though, and there were no reason for him to be swaying the way he did. He bumped into Gerard's back and held onto it like a lifeline.
“Geri, the ground's moving under my feet,” he whined, sticking to Gerard's firm and steady back.
“How much did you drink?”
Neymar shrugged. “Dunno. Gimme another and I'll start counting from there.”
Gerard turned over, causing Neymar's arms to slip and Neymar stumbled forward straight into his chest.
“I think it's time to take you back.”
Neymar whined. “Why are you so serious?” He lifted his head from where it was smashed against Gerard's torso, “Why aren't you drunk too? Not that I'm drunk personally,” he added quickly.
“I'm driving,” Gerard answered, and he proceeded to pull Neymar towards the door. Neymar protested, moving wildly, and ended up with his back to Gerard, Gerard's arms under his armpits and Neymar's heels dragging on the floor.
He slurred his goodbye to Antonella and Leo, but kept pestering Gerard all the way to his car. Everything went by in a blur, but Neymar thought he might have had a brief affair with the window.
Gerard took them back to his own dorm room and dragged him to a bed.
“That Leo's room?” Neymar asked, trying to look around despite his blurry vision, “Noooooooo. Where's Leo gonna sleep?”
“He's staying the night at Antonella's.” Neymar tried to get away but Gerard kept catching his arms and pining his legs down. “Stop moving.”
Gerard took off his shoes and his hipster glasses, and tried to tuck him under the cover. But Neymar didn't want to sleep. Neymar felt alive, he had the fever, he still wanted to dance and have fun. Although he couldn't even sit up, butting against Gerard's wall-like body.
He tried biting and Gerard hissed, taking his arms and pining them down, then sitting on his hips. Neymar wriggled under him with no success. Neymar bucked up his hips again, but he couldn't move, and Gerard's head was close but not close enough that he could lift his head to bite him.
Neymar giggled.
“Hey Geri. D'you want to have sex?” Neymar bucked up some more. A good night always ended with an orgasm, and Gerard smelt nice. “I'll suck your dick and all.”
Gerard froze above him, and he took that opportunity to free his arms and wrap them around Gerard's neck, aiming a kiss at his lips. Except Gerard had two pair of lips it seemed, and Neymar kissed the wrong one. He dragged his mouth down, feeling the beard burn against his lips, and finally he felt plump lips under his, before he was roughly pushed down, Gerard pinning him down again by his shoulders.
“Neymar,” Gerard growled, and the sound went straight to Neymar's crotch.
Gerard didn't seem to want to fuck, and Neymar laughed, taking it as a challenge. He managed to wrap his legs around Gerard's waist, flushing their bodies together. Gerard was still holding his chest down, but Neymar was free to rub his groin against him.
A teacher had said to him once 'freedom is an illusion', and soon enough Gerard had turned him over, Neymar helpless as he was manhandled into lying on his stomach. Gerard sat on his ass and ordered, “Stop that Neymar.”
Neymar whined, “Come on, it'll be fun.” He wriggled a bit and began chanting 'sex sex sex sex' in hope it would blow Gerard's mind and make him see the light. Having sex with him would be the best decision of Gerard's life, and even it wasn't, now Neymar was too curious to let it go.
“No it won't. I'm not touching you, you--” Neymar kept wriggling and Gerard put a hand on his neck, “Stop,” he hissed. “Neymar, you're drunk, you can't walk straight, I'm not touching you.”
“I can do the touching,” Neymar's voice was muffled against the pillow. Still, he stopped wriggling, stilling under Gerard.
He listened to Gerard breath heavily behind him, and after what felt like a very long minute, Gerard released him slowly and got up. Neymar turned over lazily, and tried to throw puppy eyes in his direction, blindly for he couldn't see Gerard's head. After a while he realized his eyes were closed, and he opened them to find Gerard staring down at him.
Neymar tried the puppy eyes again, and fully intended to woo Gerard with dirty talk. What came out was, “But what do I do if Geri leaves me behind too?”
Gerard looked like he didn't know what to say.
“Geriiiiiii.” Neymar whined, dragging the i as long as he could, until he was breathless and gasping.
Gerard raised his hand and put it gently over Neymar's eyes. “Shh,” he whispered, and Neymar suddenly felt sleepy, “Nobody's leaving you, so calm down.”
Gerard's hand was so large, and it covered his eyes completely. Neymar's body felt heavy now, and numb, and Neymar didn't fee like moving at all. Gerard's voice was low and it wrapped Neymar's mind in fuzziness.
The warm hand left his face, and it ruffled his hair gently. He heard steps going quietly to the door.
“Night Geri”, he slurred, so quietly he wasn't sure he was heard before the door closed.
Neymar felt fuzzy and comfortable. He took a big breath in, and remembered absentmindedly that these were the sheets Leo slept in. They smelt like him.
Before falling asleep, he thought he liked the smell of Geri better.
–
The pillow was moving, and Neymar groaned, burying his face against it.
The pillow stilled. Then it grew arms, and fingers, and they started poking his ears.
“Pillow, stop,” Neymar mumbled, voice muffled against the pillow's fabric.
The pillow's voice rumbled deep and echoed directly inside Neymar, “Cover, you stink.”
Arms and fingers, Neymar could understand, but the voice sounded a lot like Gerard's. And thinking about it, flesh-pillow were not a thing.
Neymar opened his eyes, little slits as his eyelashes were stuck together. He was met with a large expanse of white, and realized his head was resting on Gerard's t-shirt-clad chest.
Neymar moved his legs around, and belatedly realized that he wasn't wearing any pants. Or any shirts or any underwear for that matter. He was completely naked, pressed again Gerard, in Gerard's bed and shit.
He jerked away, wrapping the sheets around him and looking at Gerard wide-eyed. Had they fucked? They probably had, Neymar was naked, and there were no other reasons for him to be naked in Gerard's bed.
Neymar's heart was beating fast, overcome with dread. Neymar had probably used Gerard to get off and feel better, and they had sex and now Gerard would feel too awkward around him and it wouldn't be like usual and they'd start drifting away until they weren't friends anymore, and Neymar seriously needed to do something about that irrational fear of abandonment because it was getting out of hand.
Neymar distantly heard his name being called, before there was a hand on his shoulder, and Neymar looked up into Gerard's eyes. Gerard had sat up on the bed, and he didn't look like he was about to run away so maybe Neymar still had a chance.
“Did we have sex?” Neymar asked pointlessly because of course they did, Neymar had had enough one-night stands to know what these scenes meant.
“No.” That stopped Neymar's mid-freak out. “We didn't have sex so calm down a bit Ney.”
Gerard's voice was firm and unwavering, and Gerard wasn't a liar.
“Try to think rationally : do you feel like you had sex the night before?” Then Gerard pointed to himself, “Do I look like I had sex the night before? I'm still wearing pajamas.”
Neymar looked at him doubtfully, “You might be a pervert who doesn't even strip when he has sex because you just want to put it in.” Neymar wriggled his ass and squinted, “You didn't put it in.”
Gerard rolled his eyes, “Of course I didn't.”
“But if we didn't have sex, why am I naked?”
“You don't remember anything from last night?” Gerard asked, and Neymar tried to remember. He distinctly recalled Gerard dragging him to Leo's room, and Neymar thought he felt asleep there. For some reason, he recalled thinking about Gerard's smell before falling asleep.
“You took me to Leo's bedroom.” Neymar blinked, “This is your room though.”
“You don't remember what happened afterward?” Gerard frowned, “Do you sleepwalk? You woke me up a few hours later, completely naked and sneaked into my bed. I tried to shake you off but by the time I fully realized what was happening, you were already asleep and I didn't want to deal with your drunk ass again.”
Neymar's breathing slowed down, and his heart calmed as he listened to Gerard. Neymar didn't remember this, but he trusted Gerard's words for what they were, and as his mind cleared he realized he truly didn't feel like he had sex the night before.
He turned on his back, sighing deeply.
“Shit, I'm stupid.” He peeked up at Gerard, “Of course Geri wouldn't want to fuck me.”
Neymar didn't expect the flash of disappointment in his stomach, and the irrational thought of 'why wouldn't Geri want me?' The feeling made his heart beat faster, and Neymar incredulously thought there might still be some alcohol left in his body.
Gerard frowned, “It's not about wanting to fuck you or not.”
Neymar raised an eyebrow, and looked at Gerard questioningly.
“It's about you being drunk and me being sober.”
“Yeah, but I was the one coming onto you.” Neymar frowned, “Wasn't I?”
Gerard stared at him for some seconds, then he laid down suddenly. He hovered above him, and held his cheeks in one hand, squeezing them. “You know fucking a drunk person is taking advantage right? Even if you're the one coming onto me,” Gerard squished his cheeks harder, making Neymar close his eyes, “You know that right?”
“Ye', ye',” Neymar said, talking difficulty through his squished cheeks. He tried to bat Gerard away, until Gerard let go of his cheeks and pinched them. Neymar kept his eyes closed, and tried to change the subject, “But I mean, I should have known anyway because Geri wouldn't want to fuck me even if I was sober.”
Gerard didn't answer. Neymar felt him, hovering above him, breathing close to his face and his musky scent filling his nose. Neymar waited, but still there was no answer. He opened his eyes slowly, and Gerard was staring straight at him, his eyes intent and serious and determined.
“Geri?” Neymar murmured, pinned on the bed by Gerard's stare.
“What if I said I would?” Gerard's voice was low, breath puffing on Neymar's face and eyes devoid of doubts. Neymar's brain froze. "What if I say I would have fucked you had you been sober?"
Neymar couldn't be sure his heart hadn't stopped, and he stared at Gerard but he couldn't be sure he was actually seeing him. He could barely process his words, he could barely process Gerard sighing and getting up. He could barely process the door closing and the distant thought of 'wait don't go'. He could barely process anything, and he could do nothing but lay helplessly as his brain came up with forbidden thoughts of beard, big hands, and musky scent.