Work Text:
The chirping of the crickets outside is the only sound that can be heard in the prince’s room, as he lays awake late at night, alone. He can’t sleep. It’s been so long since the last time he had to spend the night by himself, and now he misses the warmth that his Tetsurou gave him.
He should’ve known it wouldn’t end well.
Okay, he did know it wouldn’t end well. But he didn’t care, he decided to do it anyway.
Now, he regrets it more than anything.
Not because he doesn’t love Tetsurou. He does, oh, how he does. He’s never thought that he could ever love somebody this much, that he’s capable of loving this much. But then Tetsurou came, and he made Kei feel so many things he didn’t know had existed before that it was overwhelming. But not insufferably so – nothing is too overwhelming when it comes to loving Tetsurou.
Not because he doesn’t appreciate Tetsurou’s friendship. He does. Tetsurou is the first friend he’s had since Tadashi left the country, and although they’ve been in contact ever since, it’s been hard for Kei to be alone in the castle without him. But Tetsurou filled Kei’s wing of the castle with life again, he had someone to turn to when he couldn’t deal with his emotions and problems alone anymore, he had someone to have fun with, he had someone to just hang out with when he felt like it. During the past few weeks Tetsurou’s room has become Kei’s escape from the royal life he hates so much.
Not because the sex wasn’t good. It was. There was something comforting about the way Tetsurou touched him like he was something fragile that he needed to protect. But unlike everybody else in this goddamn castle, Tetsurou didn’t want to protect him because he was the prince, but because he loved him. He took care of him, made him forget all his troubles for the time when their bodies were connected in all the possible ways. And then they fell asleep in each other’s arms, and then woke up in each other’s arms – the safest place Kei could ever imagine.
Not, not because of these. If he had a chance, he’d do it again, he’d give his everything to Tetsurou again and again and again, and he’d take Tetsurou’s everything again and again and again, because nothing compares to those few weeks of bliss he got to spend with him.
He regrets it because it’s over.
The six weeks have gone by like it was only a second. Tetsurou was escorted from the palace this morning, away from Kei, away from everything the two of them have built during their short time together.
Kei knows Tetsurou feels the same way – it was obvious from the way he looked at him, the way he hugged him, the way he burst into tears when they woke today and realized what was about to happen soon.
He knows it, because Tetsurou told him so.
“I love you,” he said not so long ago, when everything was still great, Tetsurou was still around, and they still had many days to enjoy each other’s company.
Those words were everything Kei had ever wanted to hear, but at that moment, they broke his heart into a million tiny pieces.
“Tetsuro, I-
“I know,” Tetsurou interrupted with a soft smile, pulling Kei close to his chest. Kei buried his face in Tetsurou’s shirt, seeking comfort in his scent. “I know you can’t. We can’t. You’re a prince and I’m just a boy from the city you saw playing volleyball once and decided that I needed to teach you how to do it.” His tone was light, but Kei could hear the pain behind his words. He knew Tetsurou was hurting just as much as he was. “But you deserve to know that there will always be someone out there who loves you. No matter what happens after I need to leave, I will always love you, Kei.”
Kei cried himself to sleep that night, clinging to Tetsurou like a lifeline. He didn’t say it back. He couldn’t.
He was afraid that if he had said it back, it would’ve given Tetsurou false hope. False hope that their love wasn’t doomed, that they had a chance for their happily ever after, that there was a moment awaiting them in the future where they could be each other’s again.
He wishes he had said it back. If Kei deserves to know that somebody out there loves him, then so does Tetsurou. He deserves to know how much he means to Kei, his love, his friendship, the time they spent together. He needs to know how Kei can’t sleep at night because he misses Tetsurou so much, he needs to know how lonely he feels without him by his side, he has to know that Kei felt the happiest when they were together. He deserves to know that those six weeks when Tetsurou delighted Kei’s life by purely existing, was the greatest six weeks of Kei’s entire existence.
But Kei didn’t tell him, and now he regrets that, too.
Tetsurou always said that Kei was his moonshine. It sounded cliché at first, something too lame to say in the Kingdom of the Moon, to a prince whose family name is Tsukishima. But later, when he explained, it was turned into the most beautiful love confession Kei could’ve ever asked for.
“You came to me when I was in my lowest,” Tetsurou said while playing with Kei’s hair after a night spent together, as they watched the moon playing hide-and-seek with the clouds on the sky. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with my life. I wanted to play volleyball, but my dad wanted me to take life more seriously and study business. My best friend had an accident, my other best friends were abroad on their honeymoon, I failed my driving exam and lost a lot of money that I was supposed to spend on other, more important things… You know the feeling when walls are closing in, and you can’t breathe?”
Kei nodded. He knew that feeling all too well.
“That’s exactly how I felt, and nobody could help me. And then your assistant showed up on my doorstep, asking me to teach His Highness Prince Kei how to play volleyball, because he saw me playing and insisted on inviting me to the palace.” He chuckled then pressed a soft kiss to Kei’s temple. “You saved me that day. I was in the dark, and then you came to enlighten my path like the moon does in the darkness of the night.”
That was the moment Kei’s tears started falling, but Tetsurou didn’t stop.
“My life is still a mess outside this palace. But for six weeks, you gave me purpose. And it wasn’t only to teach you how to block properly,” he continued on a teasing tone, earning a broken chuckle from Kei. “It was to be with you and to love you. I want nothing more than to do that in my whole life, but I know our love can never be complete. Still, I like thinking that the moments we spent together will stay with me forever and help me through the hard times.”
But if Kei was Tetsurou’s moonshine, then Tetsurou was Kei’s sunlight. He was always so cheerful, always had a nice word or a pretty smile to offer Kei when he wasn’t feeling on top, and it was like his day automatically became better when he saw him. The whole world had been grey before Tetsurou came, and then he filled his life with amazing, beautiful, vivid colors, just like the sun does after the storm has passed.
And anyway. The moon can’t shine without the sun. Kei feels like he can’t shine without Tetsurou, either.
Tetsurou asked him during their last night together, when their legs were tangled under the sheets and they were cuddling without clothes after hours of passionate and emotional lovemaking, when both of them made sure the other would remember them for a long, long time, “Will I ever see you again?”
Kei couldn’t answer, not for quite some time. But Tetsurou didn’t rush him, he waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts and speak up.
“I don’t know,” he said eventually, although he could only hope that the night was quiet enough for Tetsurou to hear his whisper. “I want to. I want to spend my life with you. If I could, I would go with you tomorrow.” He then turned to Tetsurou, and he was heartbroken to see that he wasn’t the only one crying.
“Then come with me,” Tetsurou murmured.
He was begging, it was a plea, a desperate attempt to tie himself to Kei for good. Kei wanted to drop everything and run away with Tetsurou. Kei loved his people, loved his family, loved Karasuno, but he would’ve given anything in that moment to get on a plane and get away from it as far as possible, to hid in the other side of the world and live a happy life with Tetsurou.
He couldn’t. They both knew it.
He still can’t, even though every inch of his body is telling him to get up from his bed and go after the love of his life. He wants to be selfish, just this once. Tetsurou has a million chances to find somebody else, someone available, someone not restricted by their royal blood and a crown on their head. But Kei doesn’t. Tetsurou is the only one for him, there’s no doubt about it. Tetsurou is the only real happiness he can get in his life, and he wants to take it.
“Maybe we could convince my parents, and maybe you could stay here instead,” Kei answered him, but Tetsurou shook his head.
“Your parents would never allow you to be with a peasant like me. And anyway, living in a castle for my entire life, being the prince’s boyfriend… Sounds too restricted to me.”
He was right. Kei couldn’t ask Tetsurou to give up everything, his family, his friends, his career to live a long, boring, unenjoyable life in a palace with him. It wouldn’t have been right. He knew the life of the royal family way too well, and he didn’t want Tetsurou to be locked in here forever.
Someone knocks on his door, and it wakes him from his thoughts. His cheeks are wet – he hasn’t noticed he started crying.
It’s the middle of the night – he checks his phone, at it’s almost two in the morning. There are only two people who would disturb him at this time, but he has recently sent his assistant, Sugawara-sensei on a well-deserved vacation, so it can only be one person on the other side of the door.
Akiteru doesn’t wait for Kei to invite him, he opens the door and steps inside the room.
“What do you want?” Kei asks as he sits up and quickly wipes the tears from his eyes.
Akiteru walks closer and sits on Kei’s bed. There’s a piece of paper in his hand, which he gives to Kei. He reluctantly takes it but doesn’t read it yet. He’s looking at Akiteru expectantly, waiting for an answer or and explanation.
“Before Sugawara-sensei left, I asked him to do some research for me,” Akiteru begins. “And with the information he got and the knowledge I had on the topic, the two of us made that.” He gestures towards the paper in Kei’s hand.
Kei finally glances at it, and he sees that it’s a letter with Kei’s seal in the bottom. Before he has the chance to read through it, Akiteru continues.
“It’s just a bunch of fancy words about you resigning your title, disclaiming your heritage, and accepting that with your statement you’re no longer prince of Karasuno, and will never be again.”
Kei’s eyes widen – and he can feel his heart beating faster in his chest.
“I can’t leave this place, because I’m the crown prince, but you can,” Akiteru proceeds, not giving Kei time to react or to process what he has just said. “I know you love that boy, and it’s clear he loves you, too. I knew it the moment you asked for him to teach you that you wouldn’t stay here. You just thought you couldn’t leave because mom and dad never told us about this.” He points at the letter.” This is all legal, Kei. It’s in the constitution. You’re over eighteen, you have the right to pass up on your title and leave this place.”
Is this really happening right now?
He wants to jump on Akiteru and hug him tightly, and thank him for this, for saving his life and giving him a chance for happiness. He wants to get out of his bed, and run through the entire city barefoot, in his pajamas to get to Tetsurou’s house and start a life with him.
He wants nothing more than to be with Tetsurou, cover his entire body with featherlight kisses, to learn how to live outside a castle, to have a normal life, to get a job and make a living, to own a cat with Tetsurou and grow old with him.
This piece of paper in his hands is everything he’s ever wished for. Akiteru is offering him a free pass, a way, legal way out of this castle, out of this damn life he hates so much. All he has to do is sign the letter, ask his mother’s assistant, Takeda-sensei to give it to his parents first thing in the morning, and leave his life behind and be happy with Tetsurou.
But a small, tiny part of his brain tells him otherwise. What Akiteru is suggesting right now goes against everything he has ever learnt, ever been taught in his life. He’s a prince. He has a duty; he has a responsibility.
“I can’t, Nii-chan,” he says sadly, followed by a shaky breath. He holds out the paper, hoping that Akiteru will take it from him.
Akiteru frowns. “You can, Kei. You-
“I can’t just leave this all behind. I have a responsibility here, I need to-
“What you need to do, Kei, is to go and be happy. You’ve never been happy in this castle. You hate being a prince. And you’re not next in line for the throne. Yes, you have a responsibility for our people. But you have a responsibility for yourself, too. How do you want to care about them if you’ll just suffer through life? Kei, I’d rather see our people disappointed in you for leaving, than watch you lose yourself here. You’ve been so happy in the past six weeks; I’ve never seen you smile and laugh this much. It was like Kuroo-kun unlocked a part of yourself that’d been buried before. You were glowing. And it’s been only a day, but you’ve already lost it all. It’s like you’re just a shell of yourself, Kei. You deserve your happy ending.”
Kei looks Akiteru in his eyes, and he sees nothing but determination and adoration. Akiteru seems so sure, so certain about this thing. He wants Kei to leave, to live his life to its fullest and most importantly, he wants Kei to be happy.
“But what about your happiness?” He asks. “If I deserve to be with Tetsurou, you deserve to be with Saeko-san as well. “
Kei expects Akiteru’s mouth to turn downwards, his eyes to lose their sparkle, and just generally turn sad by the mention of the love of his life whom he can’t marry. Not because he wants to see his brother upset, but because that’s what always happens. Someone mentions Saeko-san, and Akiteru’s mood is ruined.
But nothing like that happens. Instead, he smirks, shocking Kei to the core.
“Kei, if you leave, I will be the only heir to the throne. Don’t you think that our parents will do anything in their power to keep me here? Even allow me to marry their ambassador’s daughter? And anyway, mom is tired. She told me herself not so long ago that she’s considering resigning and making me king. And if I’m king, nobody can tell me who to marry.”
He says it so confidently, so surely, that it makes Kei withdraw his hands and take another look at the paper, at the words written on it – at his key to freedom.
Akiteru is right, isn’t he? He needs to put his own happiness first. If he even thinks about a life without Tetsurou, he feels an ice-cold hand clenching his heart and lungs – he doesn’t think he can survive without him. Not anymore. Not after he got a slice of what he could have if he were with him.
He just needs to get a pen and sign this paper, and with that everything will be sealed. He won’t be His Majesty Prince Tsukishima Kei of Karasuno, he won’t be addressed as Tsukishima-sama by his people, he won’t be bound to this place, and he won’t be doomed to an insufferable life.
There’s only one thing bothering him about it now.
“What if something happens to you and Karasuno is left without an heir. Or a ruler?”
Akiteru smiles, like he knew Kei would ask this. And of course, he did. Akiteru always knows everything. He knows Kei, and he knows the way he thinks. He probably has answers to all the questions he could ask about this.
“When I’m king, I will be married to Saeko. She grew up in the castle, she knows more about politics and ruling a country than anybody here. And if I die, or for some reason I’m unable to attend the throne anymore, she will be the Queen of Karasuno. And if something happens to me before the coronation, I’m sure mom will continue ruling for as long as she can. Besides, the two of us aren’t the only heirs, we’re just the closest. One of our cousins would sure do the job.”
Kei smiles. “I only have faith in Kiyoko and Chikara out of all of them.”
Akiteru laughs. “True. Imagine Shouyou on the throne.”
Ew. The thought sends shivers through Kei’s body. Shouyou as king of Karasuno… That would be the downfall of this kingdom.
Akiteru nudges his hand.
“So? Will you sign it already? We need to pack at least some of your stuff, so you don’t go living with Kuroo-kun in your pajamas.”
Kei can’t stop the flow of tears escaping his eyes as he throws his arms around Akiteru and sobs into his neck, not caring about his glasses possibly being ruined by the action. Akiteru holds him tight and caresses his back.
“Thank you.”
His heart is pounding so fast and loudly, Kei’s afraid it might break through his ribcage and escape from his chest. His mind is dizzy, he doesn’t have any coherent thoughts. His entire body is trembling, his hands are shaking, and his vision is blurry because of the new tears in his eyes.
He can’t say if he’s more excited or nervous, standing in front of Tetsurou’s door, hand in the air, ready to knock. He needs to take a deep breath to somewhat normalize his breathing, but it’s to no use. He doubts anything he feels right now will stop before Tetsurou opens the door.
He knocks. One, twice, three times, loudly and powerfully, as if to urge Tetsurou to get here as soon as possible.
And he does. In a moment, the door opens, and there he is – Kuroo Tetsurou in all his beautiful glory. He’s in a robe, he clearly has just put it on quickly, so he doesn’t stand in the doorway half-naked. His hair is worse than ever, it looks like a bird has nested inside. His eyes are glossy, and dark circles have started to form under them. They’re the same beautiful gold as ever, but it’s like they kindle as he realizes who’s standing in front of him.
He looks like a mess – but he’s still the most gorgeous person Kei has ever seen in his life.
“Kei?” He breaths.
“Did you mean it?” Kei asks instead of greeting. “When you said you wanted to be with me and love me for your whole life?”
Tetsurou still seems shocked, but he nods confidently. “Every word.”
“And did you mean it when you asked me to come with you?”
This time Tetsurou steps closer, now there are only a few centimeters between them.
“You have no idea how much I meant it,” he whispers.
With each word that Tetsurou says, he feels his broken heart healing. Warmth spreads through his insides. He welcomes the feeling – after all the pain he felt without Tetsurou, it’s liberating.
He quickly looks around to see if anyone’s around, other residents of this block, or perhaps a postperson, or a janitor, then looks back at Tetsurou and smiles as he says, “Then I hope you have a few drawers to spare.” He gestures towards his luggage next to him.
Tetsurou’s eyes open even wider. “What are you talking- wait.”
He grabs Kei’s hand and pulls him inside the apartment, then reaches for his luggage and lifts it over the doorstep and puts it down inside. He closes the door with more force than necessary, then turns back to Kei. His emotions are so clearly displayed on his features – hope, confusion, worry, a bit of sadness. Kei wants to kiss them all away.
“Kei, wha-
“Akiteru found a loophole,” he explains. “It’s a long story with a lot of fancy words. But all you have to know is that I had the right to give up my title and heritage, and that’s exactly what I did this morning.” He swallows. “I’m no longer the prince of Karasuno.
The silence that grows around them is uncomfortable and insufferable, but Kei gives time for Tetsurou to process his words and understand the situation. What he has just said is huge and probably confusing at first, and he doesn’t want to rush Tetsurou into reacting.
“You… You gave up your life for me?” He asks at last, he’s unsure, confused. He’s looking at Kei with utter disbelief in his eyes, like he doesn’t even believe that Kei is standing in front of him right now, let alone telling him they can be together.
Kei smiles, then closes the space between them and cups Tetsurou’ cheeks.
“No,” he replies, surprising even himself with how even his voice sounds. “I gave up my crown to have a life with you. I don’t want it. I don’t want any of it if you’re not with me.” He takes a deep breath. “I love you, Tetsurou.” Tetsurou’s eyes widen even more. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it back that night. But I do love you. I always have. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me.”
Realization strikes through Tetsurou. He pulls Kei close and wraps his arms around his waist. Kei’s hands fall from his face to his neck and shoulders. They hold each other tight – Tetsurou nuzzles his face into Kei’s neck. Kei has never felt more loved in his entire life.
“Of course, I’ll have you,” Tetsurou murmurs into Kei’s skin, making him tickle. “I’m a mess without you, moonshine. I thought I’d be fine, but I’m not. My life’s not complete without you.” He pulls away, but only so he can look him in the eyes, he doesn’t let go of him at all. “This is real, right? You’re real, and you’re staying here, and I’m not gonna wake up in a minute to my alarm crying, right?”
Kei chuckles softly, then leans closer and presses a kiss to Tetsurou’s mouth. It leaves the other speechless and pink as a rose.
“It’s real,” he promises.
As Tetsurou pulls him into another, much deeper kiss, he can’t help but think that this is what freedom feels like – Tetsurou’s licking Kei’s bottom lip to let him in, and Kei opening his mouth gladly, only for their tongues to start dancing; their arms wrapped tightly around each other, like they’re afraid to let go and end this truly magical moment; Tetsurou’s scent filling his nose, his brain, his entire being, making him lightheaded in the best way possible.
Tetsurou giggles into the kiss, and the sound is music to Kei’s ears. He wants to hear this all the time, this pure evidence of Tetsurou’s happiness.
And as he himself can’t stop smiling either, he realizes that it’s not only Tetsurou’s happiness that makes him dizzy – it’s his own as well. He’s drowning in this feeling, but it’s fine. He doesn’t ever want to breathe again. He just wants to have a life like this, full of joy and cute giggles and dumb smiles with Tetsurou.
And for the first time forever, he knows that he can have what he wants.