Novel Explorations

by useles_bian

Summary:

A few years into their relationship, Dana learns of a new side to Stella, one that neither of them really knew about before.

Chapter 1: Praise

Notes:

have I set out to write a 27 chapter long smutfic? for some godforsaken reason, yes.

thank you inuendo_outuendo and gillybeans for your super helpful thoughts and ideas whilst I was brainstorming this fic!!

The first time she'd taken notice of Stella's reaction was after they had dinner together, on the day she 'officially' moved in.

Dana had barely spent a night away from the house in months, but the keys to her flat had finally been relinquished earlier that day and the last remaining boxes of her stuff had been tucked away upstairs in Stella's home office. Rather than going out, her girlfriend had offered to cook for her as a sort of housewarming and she'd gladly accepted. Sitting on one of the kitchen stools and watching Stella move about her - their - space sounded like a far nicer idea than going anywhere.

After they'd finished eating, Dana thanked her and commented on the food, praising her efforts without really thinking about what she was saying until she saw Stella sit up straighter. She'd never noticed that before. Stella took in a short, sharp breath before relaxing again and carrying on as if nothing had happened.

The next time, Dana noticed a little more.

She was sat up in bed, on the receiving end of a sorely needed shoulder massage after hours spent hunched over her desk at work. Stella's hands felt like magic on her skin and Dana leant into the touch while telling her just how good a job she was doing. A brief falter in her movements might've gone unnoticed by some, but it was picked up on quickly and mentally added to the growing pile of suspicions. When Stella finished the massage, kissed along the side of her neck, and worked both hands around her front to slip them down towards the waistband of her trousers, she felt that was as much confirmation as she was going to get without a more direct confrontation.

So, a few weeks later, she decided to build up the courage to ask. They were lying on the sofa together, Stella with her back against the sofa's arm while she was curled into her side, and she wasn't sure there would be any better time. Now all she had to do was come out with it. Maybe one last test of her hypothesis would be an easier way to get there.

"You're so good at cuddling."

Stella froze against her for a millisecond before lifting her head and raising an eyebrow at her. She ignored it for the time being and decided to keep going. It felt like now or never.

"It's true, you are." 

"Dana," Stella looked down at her again, "where are you going with this?"

"Shh, just listen. You're good at that too, I know you are. I've got a theory I want to test out."

With a sigh, Stella dropped back down to the arm of the sofa and turned her neck to keep watching. Her curious gaze lingered but she seemed to accept whatever it was that Dana was doing.

"Your arms are perfect too." Dana reached over her to take her arm and run a hand down it. "They're so strong and I love feeling them when you lean down over me. I guess it makes me feel safe."

At the comment, she felt as Stella's arm tensed beneath her hand. Nothing was said, as she'd requested, but it showed that at the very least her idea was being entertained. Offering a grateful smile in return, she set her arm back down and ran a hand along the side of her waist, pulling her in ever so slightly closer.

"You know how to use them as well, and your hands. I'm glad I live here now because I don't think anyone else could do what you do to me."

"Is that why you said yes to moving in?" Stella chuckled.

"I told you to be quiet," she replied through her own giggle, not meaning a word of it. "That's one of the reasons, but there are others. Anyway, stop trying to distract me. You're good at that too. You can think circles around most people and I love watching that face you pull when you're really lost in something. It's hot."

She shuffled closer herself and moved her top leg over to nudge it between Stella's before relaxing again.

"Something else I love is how attentive you are, you can always tell if I'm stressed about something and you're so good at making me feel better."

Leaving her waist, Dana pulled her hand back until it was across the middle of her stomach. She knew where she wanted to go next - and what she hoped to find there. One last hopeful glance up at Stella's face pushed her onwards. The expression she saw there was confused but not unwilling.

"You're so good to me. But you're also good for me. Aren't you?"

While she thought Stella's breathing had gotten shakier, it was hard to tell because hers definitely had too. She tried to muster up a little more confidence and watched on as her hand moved down from Stella's midriff and into her leggings, slipping beneath her panties. As hoped, Dana could feel that her fingers were already getting slick with arousal and she swiped a cursory stroke between her girlfriend's lips before bringing her hand back out to rest on her waist and looking up again.

"Stella," she paused to wait out her slight shudder. "Do you have a praise kink?"

Her question was direct to the point of being blunt, but she knew her girlfriend wouldn't have wanted her to circle it for too long. She thought she knew anyway. Stella was just laying there, not looking at her, and she wondered if she should ever have said anything in the first place.

"I- I've never thought about it."

It wasn't a yes, but it definitely wasn't a no either. Stella had tilted her head back up and directed her gaze towards the ceiling, staring vacantly up at the paintwork while Dana tried to work out where to go from there.

"Perhaps I do," Stella said without looking back down at her. "Fuck, I'm such a cliché."

"Hmm?" she gently pushed for further information.

With a sigh, Stella shuffled further down onto the sofa so that they were level with one another and turned her head towards Dana.

"A professional woman from a middle class family with an emotionally distant mother and a dead father, who apparently now might like being told what a good fucking job I'm doing in bed. The stereotype writes itself."

The tone of her words was so sure that it could almost be brash if it weren't for the self-deprecation, but her movements betrayed a different motive altogether as she slowly worked herself closer and rolled onto her side so that they were facing each other. Their legs tangled together and Dana tightened the grip on her waist.

"Well it can be our secret," Dana whispered conspiratorially before leaning in to kiss the tip of her nose. "I would promise not to tell anyone how unoriginal you are, but I don't think it's true anyway. There's only one Stella Gibson."

She pushed her then, rolling her onto her back once more so that she could climb on top.

"She's intelligent," Dana paused to kiss away the exaggerated downturn of her lips, "she's funny when she wants to be, she's caring, she's brave, she's cute, and she's my favourite person. Oh, and she's insanely hot too."

Stella broke at her last remark and the failed attempt at a frown disappeared behind a laugh. "She sounds like a real class act."

"Definitely."

As their conversation lulled, they began to look at each other in a different light. Dana wondered if the air really did shift around them or if it was just the effect her girlfriend had on her in moments like this. She moved in for another kiss, slower this time, and traced a line with her tongue along the crease of Stella's lips until they parted to grant her access. Hands lifted to hold either side of her face and her own moved to feel along the perfect form underneath her.

She forced herself to pull away, hearing the quiet sound of their lips separating, and said, "You're perfect, honey."

The pet name was meant as a gentle tease. It was something that she'd called Stella a few times in the past and it was met with an eye roll on each and every occasion, even after she'd explained her hastily made up backstory. Her girlfriend had given an entirely expected lack of credence to Dana's justification that she possessed the same qualities as a honey badger, adorable from a distance but deadly up close. Yet that didn't stop Dana from catching her off guard with the name every now and then just to laugh at her over dramatic reaction.

But there was no reaction this time, at least not a negative one. Her chest rose very slightly beneath Dana, forced upwards by a trembled intake of breath, and her eyes widened as if in shock from her own emotional state. She stayed silent, flicking her now almost panicked gaze across Dana's face and clearly hoping not to be tasked with deciding what came next.

There was an innocence to her expression that tugged at Dana's heart. She could imagine just how exposed Stella might feel and she wanted little else but to reassure her.

After another all too brief kiss, she smiled down at her. "I love you."

The simple comment earned her a smile in return and she was glad to see Stella begin to relax again.

"I love you too."

"Stel," Dana brought a hand to her face and brushed an unruly blonde curl from her forehead, "I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with, but we're both good at pushing things aside and pretending they never happened. If this is something you want to try, remember you don't have to, but if it is then I need you to tell me."

She went quiet then, giving Stella a chance to think and trying to perfect a facial expression that mixed willingness with a distinct sense that there was no pressure either way. Stella scanned her features for a second time and whatever she found there can't have been too off the mark because she soon replied with a timid nod.

“Is there anything specific you want to do? Or anything you don’t want me to say?”

“I don’t really know.” Stella’s gaze drifted while she pondered the questions. “Honestly, you seem to have been more aware of my own reactions than I was. But I can’t think of anything you might say that would definitely put me off, I’ll tell you if you do.”

“Okay, that’s okay,” Dana reassured.

Unsure of where to go from there, she looked down at Stella and simply hoped that an idea would spring to mind. In theory, she understood roughly what to do, but in practice, it was proving harder than anticipated. But then she considered, rather than trying anything completely new, she could start somewhere Stella was already comfortable.

Continuing to speak softly, she explained, “I noticed you react when I praised you on something you’d done, so why don’t we start with something you know you’re good at?”

“I’m thinking of one thing in particular that I’m very good at,” Stella chuckled, sliding a hand down over her ass and pulling her in a little tighter.

Dana laughed along with her, pleased to see her growing less nervous with each passing second, before sitting up and climbing off her.

“Prove it,” she challenged.

Stella got up then and stood in front of her as she sat down, dropping to her knees just in front of Dana’s legs and parting them with a hand on either thigh to get between. Before Dana had a chance to think about the fact that her girlfriend was kneeling for her like this, she felt hands at her waist, tugging her trousers down with an urgency that almost made her forget the part she was meant to be playing.

“You’re eager,” she started at a whisper while Stella repeated the motion with her panties. “I like it.”

After giving a quick nod in confirmation of hearing her, Stella shuffled closer and sat down on her heels, resting either hand on top of her thighs and holding them apart for access. Dana looked down at her in awe, thrilled to be part of such a novel scenario when they were already a few years into their relationship. But the best part wasn’t that it was new, the best part was seeing just how excited Stella seemed to be - even if some of that excitement was hidden behind anxiety. Although bringing the whole thing up hadn’t exactly been the least awkward conversation of Dana’s life so far, she knew it was worth it now that she was witnessing Stella allowing herself to open up in this way.

Stella’s tongue parted her lips with a cursory swipe and she carefully held her blonde curls back for a better view. It wasn’t long before Stella went back in, lapping briefly at her entrance before moving up to run her tongue over her clit, and she slouched further down on the sofa, chasing the sensation. Dana watched her head bob up and down enthusiastically and she let out a satisfied groan at the sight.

“You’re right, honey. You’re so good at that.”

Her hand caught in Stella’s hair when she nodded again and Dana nearly apologised, that is until she both felt and heard her girlfriend whine against her sex.

“You like that too, huh? Having your hair pulled?”

She didn’t shy away that time when Stella nodded in agreement. Instead, she tightened her grip on the blonde strands between her fingers.

“Maybe we should think about other things you want to try. Would you like that?”

This time, Stella lifted her head to make eye contact and Dana’s mouth fell open at the deep set arousal she found there.

“Yes, Dana,” Stella replied quietly.

If she hadn’t been aroused already then those two words would have got her there by themselves. Her suggestion had been driven by what she thought Stella might like, thoughts of her own enjoyment hadn’t really come into the equation because she was happy to please her girlfriend regardless. But she couldn’t deny that it wasn’t just about pleasing Stella anymore.

“Keep going,” she requested, using the hand in her hair to gently push her back down.

She didn’t quite hold her down, but the demanding gesture clearly did something to them both as she stifled a moan while Stella dived back in without hesitation. Her hips began to follow the movement of Stella’s tongue and her hand stroked through her hair before giving another careful tug.

“Yesss,” Dana hissed when her tongue barely dipped into her entrance.

With slightly more force this time, she pushed her closer until she felt Stella’s nose brush her clit.

“Stay there,” she panted. “Just like that. Good girl.”

Almost as soon as the words left her lips, she felt one of Stella’s hands abruptly drop from her leg while the other tightly clenched her thigh. She tipped her head forward to look down just as Stella’s movements became sloppy. Her face was still pressed against Dana’s sex and her tongue was still thrusting eagerly, but her body had begun to move too, rocking against her own hand where she’d slipped it into her panties.

“Fuck that’s hot.”

The comment wasn’t as direct a praise as everything else had been so far, but Dana couldn’t think of anything to say except the truth. She watched Stella writhe between her legs and felt the wet slip of her own cum that was slicked across her willing girlfriend’s face. The sense of power that came with it was unexpected, sending a heady rush through her body not unlike the rush of arousal that had reduced her to panting and circling her hips in an attempt to somehow get closer still.

The combination of feelings, both mental and physical, pushed her further towards climax and she chased it desperately. Her gaze remained fixed on Stella’s frantic display and the only thing that could’ve made it better was if she’d had the forethought to strip them both before they’d started. She could make do though, her girlfriend was visual stimuli enough, never mind the heat brewing deep in her core as Stella continued to fuck her as deep as her tongue would allow. Holding onto the thought that this seemed to be going well, she hoped for a chance to rectify that earlier clothing mistake at a later date and pulled her hair again.

The reaction she’d been looking for sent her over the edge, hearing the desperate whimper that was muffled between her thighs right as her head fell back against the cushions. Her orgasm lasted longer than usual, sending what felt like sparks through her every nerve and leaving her to quiver helplessly as it subsided. The air in the room was suddenly stiflingly warm and her cheeks and chest flushed an even deeper shade of pink than they had from arousal.

Before she could give her own reaction much thought, Dana was pulled back into the fray by the whiny sound of breaths that she could feel being huffed against the exposed skin of her inner thigh. Stella had leant back slightly, resting her cheek on her thigh, and was working towards her own orgasm that clearly wasn’t far away. Her eyes were closed and her brow was furrowed in determination.

“You were so good,” Dana leant forward to whisper.

She twirled her fingers around to get a better grip in her hair before cautiously forcing Stella’s head back. Not letting her go far enough to actually risk injury, Dana kept her leaning there against her leg but made sure she was far enough away to make eye contact possible.

“Open your eyes, honey.”

Stella did as she was told, immediately and surprisingly obediently, letting Dana see the sparkling blue of her irises and sharing with her a searing gaze.

“Good girl,” she praised quietly, offering a reassuring smile as she did so.

Had someone told her even twenty minutes ago that Stella would be kneeling between her legs and moaning in response to her praise, Dana wouldn’t have believed them. Yet here she was, watching what was definitely the most erotic thing she’d ever seen and relishing the feeling of Stella caring so much about what she said as to react like this.

“I love watching you like this. I can’t wait to see you come. Are you going to keep being good for me? Are you going to come like a good girl? ”

Perhaps reusing the same phrase would lessen its effect, she couldn’t be sure. But she had time to get creative later. For now, she planned to keep using the phrases she already knew to be successful. Thankfully, it did work, because Stella whimpered and nodded vigorously, moving her head fast enough that Dana could feel the friction between her hair and her thigh.

It wasn’t long until she got what she was after, watching Stella’s mouth close from her panting as she bit her bottom lip and kept staring deep into Dana’s eyes. The intense expression almost made her look angry but it quickly gave way to another moan as her body shuddered. She gripped Dana’s thigh so tightly that it would leave a mark. Her hand slowed from its fervorous speed, relaxing to a more gentle pace while she rode out her orgasm, and Dana’s hand dropped from her hair to stroke a thumb across her cheek, collecting the wetness found there and presenting it to be lapped at by her willing tongue.

“You did such a good job, baby.”

Stella scrunched her nose up then, coming down from her high and looking at Dana like she might’ve said something wrong for the first time that evening.

“Not baby,” Dana chuckled and pulled her thumb back from between Stella’s lips to stroke her cheek again. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The quiet that followed was a touch unnerving but she tried not to read too much into it. Silence was perfectly reasonable considering how new this was to them both and Dana just hoped that Stella would let her in on what she was thinking after some time had passed. She decided to focus on what she could actually provide and took her girlfriend’s hand from her thigh, pulling Stella up from the floor and patting her lap in invitation. They were often the other way round when sat like this, but at least it wasn’t something else entirely new to contend with.

“So,” she began slowly as Stella lazily curled up against her chest, “if you don’t have an answer yet that’s fine, I’m happy to wait. But what did you think of it?”

“Not baby,” was Stella’s equally slow answer.

“Message received. Anything else? Or do you need some more time?”

“I-” she hesitated, stopping herself and looking nervously up at Dana. “I liked it, I think. What about you?”

“It surprised me.” Dana saw the regret on her face as soon as she heard the reply and quickly added, “Not in a bad way. But, Stel, I only suggested it because I thought you might like it. What surprised me was how much I enjoyed it too. I’m starting to see why you like being in charge.”

“And I still like being in charge,” Stella quipped.

“I don’t doubt it. Besides, a praise kink can work that way round too.”

“Mmm,” she hummed, “that’s definitely worth a try.”

Dana didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, but their conversation was moving towards safer ground and she was concerned that leaving Stella’s earlier remark without discussing it would mean that they never pushed themselves to talk about it again.

“Stel?” she questioned. “I’d understand if you just agreed in the moment without really thinking, but did you mean what you said about trying new things?”

‘New’ could imply what they’d just spoken about, trying something while Stella was in charge. But they both knew that wasn’t what Dana meant. Stella took on that adorably shy energy again as she glanced up at her.

“Although I was being honest when I told you I haven’t thought about being praised before, perhaps there are a few things I have thought about. I guess I’ve never brought them up because I was scared you’d think differently of me.”

Dana hugged her then, wrapping both arms around her tightly and squeezing for a moment. “You’re still my brave detective, even if I’m allowed to call you a good girl sometimes.”

“Promise?” Stella pulled away from the hug to pointedly arch her brow, managing to look serious for all of a few seconds before breaking it with a light giggle.

“Pinkie swear.”

They both looked down as their fingers locked, joined in more ways than one as they sat there in the comfort of their shared home. Dana wasn’t sure what ‘new’ would look like, but she couldn’t deny the excitement that bubbled away deep within her at the thought of it.

Notes:

this will get progressively more nsfw as it goes along, but i'm hoping it'll get there in a way that's as true to the characters as I can make it.

btw I have not abandoned Decisions at the final chapter, it definitely will be completed soon! I just want to wrap that story up as nicely as I can so it's taking me a little longer to get it to where I'm happy with it.

Chapter 2: Spanking

Notes:

thank you inuendo_outuendo for your help!!

"Oh!" she cried out, attempting to muffle the sound by pressing her face into the pillow beneath her head.

"You're taking this so well, honey."

Dana soothed her for a moment, stroking a hand across her sore ass cheek, before removing the gentle comfort with another smack. Stella whined as her hand made contact but promptly wiggled herself backwards as soon as the touch was gone, silently asking for more.

Never in a million years had Stella Gibson thought she'd be on her knees, chest pressed to the sheets, completely naked, all while a clothed woman sat behind her and spanked her until her ass was red. Nor had she realised how much she might enjoy it. But then again, she hadn't anticipated Dana walking into her life either.

Discussion of her rather secretive wants had come about more easily than she'd initially expected. After Dana's surprise discovery, something that was truly a surprise to the both of them, the idea of taking things further had begun to feel less and less scary. That's not to say she felt no fear, there was definitely more than a little hesitation in her voice when she'd admitted to a few of her desires. But it hadn't been enough to stop her from expressing them aloud, and for that she was grateful to Dana for offering words of reassurance right when she'd needed to hear them.

First on the list was the activity she presently found herself engaged in. Her initial explanation as to why she wanted it to be next was that, while hardly extreme, spanking presented a very different scenario to the more gentle experience they'd already shared that focused on praise. The reasoning wasn't untrue, but she'd left out one of the key aspects, this being the fact that she didn't have to look at Dana while it happened.

Her problem wasn't that she didn't like looking at her girlfriend, in fact, she loved to at almost any opportunity. Her problem was quite how desperate she'd felt when she looked up into Dana's eyes the last time. In that moment, Dana hadn't been someone she simply wanted but instead someone she absolutely needed. No one had ever made her feel like that before, like their mere existence made her whole and like in their absence they took with them a part of her. Though she was unwilling to admit it for fear of her own feelings ruining what they had together, she couldn't deny to herself just how much it scared her.

So, for a reason that felt so ridiculous to her it was almost laughable had she not still felt that fear, this was her next suggestion.

Dana had been lovingly cautious with her throughout, starting while she was still fully clothed and slowly ridding her of one garment at a time as she grew more comfortable. She'd flinched at the first spank, as soft as it was, but soon settled into the slow rhythm set by her girlfriend. Her shirt and bra had been removed first, forcing her to sit up and providing an opportunity for Dana to give her a brief hug before they got back into it. Then her trousers, peeled off slowly to expose the lace thong she'd deliberately chosen to wear. Her choice of underwear earned the quiet groan she'd hoped for and the knowledge of being able to have that effect, even while being spanked, gave her back the small amount of control she needed to relax.

It had become a silent mantra by this point, running through her head and calming her as she timed each thought to the repetitive sting of Dana's hand coming down on her ass.

'I asked for this. I want this. I can stop this. But I don't want it to stop.'

When she felt fingers slide beneath her underwear, Stella shimmied her hips, barely shifting from side to side but moving with enough intention for Dana to notice. Her cheeks flushed when she felt the fabric drag down her legs, leaving a damp trail along her inner thigh, and she was then even more glad that she could hide her expression against the pillow.

"I would ask if you're enjoying this," Dana spoke while clambering back onto the bed after removing the thong from around her ankles, "but I think I already know."

Although it wasn't a question, Stella nodded anyway. Her hands clutched at the sheet beneath her and her legs trembled from the energy coursing through her body, a mixture of nerves and arousal so heightened that she ultimately couldn't discern between the two.

"Should I keep going then?"

"Yes," she huffed.

Dana's next spank was lighter, as if readying her for what it felt like without her underwear, but the thong had barely covered her ass and she felt no different, only more exposed. Grumbling to herself at the change of pace, she wiggled her ass again and tried to coax something rougher from her girlfriend. When nothing more came, she relented.

"Harder," she requested quietly, "please."

"Say that again."

Dana's voice dropped lower than she had ever heard it before. The timbre sent a jolt straight to Stella's core and she was helpless to do anything but obey, knowing unquestioningly which part she was being asked to repeat.

"Please."

The word sounded curt as it rolled off her tongue, halted abruptly by the breathy moan that followed it when she was spanked hard enough for the slapping sound to ring in her ears.

"Is that what you wanted?"

"Yes, Dan- Uhh."

She heard a chuckle behind her, no doubt caused by her broken response when Dana sped up the tempo. It probably would've embarrassed her if she was any less turned on. As it was, she took the light teasing in stride and braced her forearms against the mattress. Her knees threatened to give out with each slap and she didn't want to let herself move away for even a second.

"You're being so good for me, honey," Dana cooed in a sweet voice. Stella couldn't work out whether it was taunting or sincere, not that she cared much either way. Whatever it was, she liked it.

Without any warning, she suddenly felt Dana slick her hand between her wet lips. Two fingers pressed against her entrance before pulling away again and she groaned to signal her displeasure.

"Patience."

But Stella didn't want to be patient, and certainly not once she felt Dana smear her arousal across her ass. The move was followed by a pause and she had to steady herself when the bed shifted beneath them slightly. Dana's tongue made contact with the now cooling trail, further wetting her inflamed skin, and she changed tack, biting the pillow in order to stifle another whine. That was about as close to patience as she could get. She was never normally this loud in bed and she was grateful for how long it had taken them to try anything like this. It would've been far more uncomfortable for her to be this vocal back when they were a few months into their relationship as opposed to a few years.

Right when she felt Dana's tongue leave her skin, the sensation was replaced by teeth gently pressing into her flesh. Her ensuing moan was unstoppable that time. The bite was soft enough that she assumed there was no mark left behind, but she filed away her own reaction to think about later. Being marked sounded like rather more appealing an idea than she would've previously given it credit for.

The cool air of the room hit her again when Dana sat back up, contrasting with the heat travelling her body, the warmth of her reddened skin, and highlighting just how cold the mixture of cum and saliva that decorated her ass was. She didn't have much time to think about it though, because soon one of her girlfriend's fingers was pushing inside her, quickly joined by a second. They thrusted and curled to stroke along her walls in a practised manner, touching her so exactly and deliberately from years of experience. Stella rocked backwards unconsciously and heard another laugh.

"You want to help?" Dana teased gently. "Fine. Play with your clit, Stel. I was about to, but if you do it then I've got a free hand."

Unsure as to what her girlfriend meant by the final comment, she ignored it and chose to follow the clear direction. One hand snaked down between her legs whilst the other kept hold of the sheets. The position left her slightly less stable but she was too far gone to either notice or care.

Her fingers found her clit and she gasped into the pillow, realising quite how wet she was. The swollen bud was slick beneath the pads of her fingers and she stroked in a circular pattern that became less and less precise with each passing second. Dana began timing her thrusts to Stella's newly set rhythm, urging her on with each enthusiastic motion.

"Ohh!"

Dana's earlier comment made sense when she felt another sharp slap against her ass. The brief pause to focus on her pussy made that first spank feel even harder on her sensitive skin, having given it a chance to settle. A combination of the finger fucking and her own attention to her clit had already left her teetering on the precipice, so after Dana's hand made contact a few more times she felt herself get tipped right over the edge, falling into an abyss of pleasure.

Her hand slowed, gently prolonging her orgasm by stroking herself in small circles. But Dana gave her no such relief, continuing to fuck her relentlessly before thrusting her fingers as deep as they would go and repeatedly curling them against her front wall whilst she moaned and shuddered.

As soon as Stella felt her pull back, she collapsed down onto the bed with a grunt, giving her thighs a chance to relax after they'd worked so hard to keep her up. The sound of clothes falling to the floor was audible behind her, but she wasn't sure that she had enough energy left to turn her head and watch. Instead she waited to be joined on the bed.

Dana laid down beside her, carefully stroking the hair out of her face in order to look at her properly.

"Hey," the redhead whispered with a smile.

"Hey." She offered her own smile in return, or as much of a smile as she could manage in her present state.

When she began rolling onto her side, hoping Dana would get the hint that she wanted a hug, she was forced to stop when the side of her ass made contact with the sheets.

"Ahh," she breathed out painfully.

The usually soft sheets felt rough against her skin and she flopped back down onto her stomach with a disgruntled sigh. Dana said nothing, but gently tugged on her arm and pulled Stella over to lay half on top of her, parting her legs so that one of the blonde's could fall between them.

"Sore?"

"Mmhmm," she murmured, tucking her face into the crook of her girlfriend's neck.

Dana held her close, stroking up and down her back, and her climax-hazed brain didn't know what to make of such a comforting gesture so soon after not just willingly being spanked but enjoying it to boot. She felt conflicted. One part of her knew that wanting things like this wasn't a bad thing, she certainly never judged Dana for liking it when their roles were reversed. But the other part of her was clinging onto misguided ideas of strength, of how she ought to behave, and of sexist notions that couldn't let her identity of courage and independence coexist with the desire to be in any way submissive.

"Stel? Are you okay?"

She only realised that she'd started to cry upon hearing Dana's concern.

"Yeah," she sighed. "It's just- I feel- I don't know. It's a lot."

Raising her hand to wipe away the tears, she sniffed and lifted her head up to look her girlfriend in the eye. Dana met her gaze with another warm smile and she returned it with the slightest curl of her own lips before dropping back down and cuddling into her again.

"It's not that I didn't like it, I think it's because I liked it. If that makes any sense."

"That's understandable. I think it's a bit different for me, but we're both trying things that we've never really done before, at least not this way round. New can be scary, and maybe even overwhelming."

Stella hummed in agreement, feeling reassured by what she suspected was Dana's deliberate phrasing. It was no longer something for her alone to deal with but instead it was for them both. As her tears dried, she felt the calmness that had overtaken her in the seconds after her orgasm begin to seep back in.

"You were more confident today," she remarked.

Dana laughed, "I was trying to be. I'm glad it worked out."

"It was hot." Stella trailed her hand down the redhead's stomach until she was stopped, held back by Dana's hand on her wrist. "Can't I show my gratitude?"

"Maybe tomorrow." She returned her hand to Stella's back once the blonde retreated. "But I'm enjoying this too much. You're all soft and floppy, you're like a teddy bear but better."

"How charming," Stella snorted.

In all honesty, she didn't mind the comment whatsoever. In fact, somewhere deep down, she rather liked it. There weren't many people who would call her soft in any way. Scratch that, there was only one person. But, over the course of their relationship, she'd slowly started to learn that softness wasn't always a bad thing. It couldn't be, not when Dana liked it. Perhaps she was now setting off on a similar path to that which she’d trodden before, learning in much the same way as she had with softness that the trust they'd built gave her the safety to explore her own curiosities and desires.

Notes:

the pov will alternate throughout (bar one two part chapter near the middle) because I wanted to get 'both sides' as it were, but I do have a soft spot for writing stella

Chapter 3: Uniform

Notes:

thank you inuendo_outuendo!!

Dana had just finished drying her hair when she heard the faint sound of the front door closing.

Her day had been long and she wasn’t a fan of the early starts that barely gave her a chance to kiss Stella goodbye each morning. But the regular hours and general predictability of the job were worth it, even with some years behind her since leaving the FBI. It was all a much needed taste of normality.

Having showered and changed into pyjamas for the evening, she lay down across the end of the bed and awaited the inevitable soft thuds and creaking floorboards that would signal her girlfriend coming up the stairs. That was predictable too, the evening routine they’d fallen into ever since she moved in, and it gave her a similar feeling of comforting normality.

One thing she hadn’t predicted, however, was that Stella had a formal meeting that day. In her haste to get ready that morning, she must’ve missed the uniform that tended to be hung up on the back of their wardrobe door whenever it was going to be needed.

It was hard to miss this time though, especially when Stella took a step forward to lean against the bedroom door frame, jutting her hip ever so slightly to one side.

Dana closed her mouth, only realising a couple of seconds too late that it had fallen open in the first place. She trailed her gaze across the uniform’s details, indulging in the view of the black tie held perfectly around her girlfriend’s neck, begging to be toyed with or simply taken off altogether. The way Stella had her hat tucked under her arm somehow made her look more powerful than had she been wearing it, and from there Dana couldn’t help but follow the line of her blazer until it met the skirt that so perfectly hugged her hips and thighs.

"Darling," Stella purred - clearly loving the effect she was having, "I'm home."

More than a few evenings had started out like this and none had ever left Dana feeling unsatisfied. But recent developments in their relationship gave her pause. Perhaps there was a new way to go about this, one that would hopefully provide similar - if not greater - satisfaction. She hadn't considered it before, but then again, this was all rather new to them both.

"Hi, honey," she tested the waters.

Stella straightened her back out then, losing her confident smirk and replacing it with an expression of mild surprise. Her eyes held Dana's as her eyebrows lifted, but otherwise she remained steady.

Dana got up from the bed and crossed the room to stand in front of her. This was the first time she'd taken the lead in coming up with an idea, and even though Stella had given her permission to do so, making the suggestion was still nerve-wracking. They shared a brief smile when she stopped, leaving the blonde a little room but stepping far enough into her personal space to make the possessive intention clear.

"Everyone at the Met probably does whatever you say, especially when you're dressed like this. How could they not?"

She reached out towards Stella's waist, going for the side not obstructed by her hat, and suddenly slipped a hand round to press against the small of her back and pull her in. A gasp accompanied the darkening of her eyes as they flooded with arousal and Dana knew then that she'd made the right decision. That knowledge helped to boost her confidence, giving her the edge she needed to take things further.

"There's something I've been wondering about." Leaning in even closer, her lips brushed Stella's with each word that came out of her mouth. "You know how to give orders, detective, but are you good at taking them too?"

The silent response of an eager nod was reassuring. She knew from what little experience they already had that Stella tended not to say much in moments like this, so Dana was learning to read more from the vigour with which she responded as opposed to direct words.

Slowly stepping backwards, she kept Stella close and walked them back until her legs hit the bed. Dana took the hat from under her arm and placed it to one side on the bed before sitting down and pulling Stella forward to stand between her legs. The uniform drew her in yet again and she was helpless to do anything but feel her girlfriend up, indulging in being allowed to do so in whatever way she pleased. Dana's hands stroked over her ass, squeezing just enough to earn a stifled groan, and then moved on to toy with the buttons along her blazer.

"You're so hot," she muttered, having to take a second to compose herself again. "But you'd look even better on your knees."

They shared the briefest of soft moments when Stella took Dana's offered hand to help her down onto her knees. Their hands parted when Dana moved to her cheek, stroking gently and affirming with a questioning arch to her brow that this was something they both wanted. Stella gave her a slight smile and their game continued.

"There's not a single hair out of place," Dana lifted her hand further to affectionately pat Stella's professional updo, "which makes it so tempting to mess with."

"I've got an idea," the blonde suggested quietly, speaking with such uncertainty that it sounded more like a question than a statement.

Dana would've been happy to listen to her idea regardless of any wider context. She was always happy to listen to what her girlfriend had to say. But she was even more willing than usual now. Stella had only really spoken when prompted thus far while in any sort of submissive role, clearly still harbouring a deep reserve of anxiety, and this seemed like a positive step towards her gaining some confidence. That's what Dana wanted for her, confidence, an ability to feel free in sharing her desires and to trust that they wouldn't be met with judgement.

So, determined to take this opportunity of proving to Stella that her trust was being placed in the right person, Dana replied sweetly, "What's your idea, honey?"

"You could..." Stella trailed off and glanced down, taking a deep inhale before she looked back up and timidly met her girlfriend's eyes. "You could hold me down? By my hair, I mean."

Dana grinned properly then, pleased to see that Stella was on board and even more pleased by getting a chance to coax another few words from her.

"And why would I want to do that?"

Her question was met with an irritated huff. She chuckled and brought her hand back to Stella's cheek, soothing away the adorable frown that had formed there, before watching her pointedly and waiting for a proper answer. It was perhaps a push too far, asking Stella to talk again whilst she was clearly nervous, but Dana was certain that she could manage it.

"To fuck my face."

The blunt phrasing shocked her momentarily and Dana couldn't help but laugh again at the ensuing cheeky expression her girlfriend wore. Stella was obviously pleased with the reaction she'd gotten.

"Mmm," she hummed, "that's such a good idea, honey."

Her ass had barely left the bed before Stella was reaching up to pull her pyjamas down and without thinking she grabbed both of her wrists. It was sudden and more forceful than she'd intended, but the look in Stella's eyes as her grip tightened stopped her from apologising. Dana kept hold of her and stood up properly, meeting her gaze all the while as her head tipped further and further back.

"Go on then," she permitted, pulling Stella's hands towards the waistband of her pyjama trousers. "If you're that eager."

"Yes, Dana," Stella whispered in what was probably the most erotic tone of voice she'd ever heard, it was breathy and tinged with a surprising level of desperation. Dana already looked forward to hearing it again.

Once the fabric was bunched around her ankles, exposing her, she kicked them off and sat back down on the edge of the bed. It felt strange in a way. She was half naked and Stella was fully clothed, yet she felt more power than she would've thought possible.

Stella knelt more patiently than Dana expected her to while she leant forward and gently pulled her hair from its low bun. After it had been freed, she ran her fingers through it, finger combing the blonde curls before twisting them around her hand. She tugged slightly and delighted in the sharp gasp her actions produced. The patience was wearing thin on Stella's face and she knew her teasing was only making it wane faster.

"Put your hands on my thighs. If you need a breather or to stop for some other reason then tap me. Is that okay with you?"

“Yes, Dana,” she immediately replied, placing a hand on either thigh and leaning as far forwards as the grip on her hair would allow.

Looking into her eyes one last time, Dana leant down to make her final words that much more impactful.

“Now be a good girl and make me come.”

Dana put her other hand in Stella's hair and pushed her close, though the encouragement wasn't needed as she willingly dived in anyway. Her tongue ran the length of Dana's sex, tasting for a second, before delving further and barely dipping into her entrance. With another rough tug of her hair, she gave in and pressed herself even closer.

Looking down at the sight below her, Dana moaned appreciatively. The epaulettes on Stella's blazer were only just visible between her thighs and they reminded her of how powerful her girlfriend could be. But it wasn't Stella who held the power now, it was her, and knowing that she'd earned it rather than taken it turned her on even more.

Stella lapped at her earnestly and she twirled stray hairs around her fingers, using the grip to pull her hair again while still keeping both palms on the back of her head to hold her down. She rocked her hips up to meet the sensation, pushing the blonde's tongue deeper inside her, and began to move in time with each thrust. The motion was urgent and uncoordinated, but she was too aroused to care. All that mattered to her was the wet heat between her thighs and the pulsing tongue of the woman kneeling before her.

When she felt a tap against her left thigh, she released Stella and waited for her to catch her breath. The wait felt agonising after getting worked up already but she hardly wanted to suffocate her girlfriend.

"Okay so far?" she questioned, taking a deep breath of her own in attempts to stave off the ever increasing tide of arousal that made her want to pull Stella back in again.

"Yes, Dana," was the panted reply. Her enjoyment was evident across her face, most notably in the way her eyes sparkled, catching the light almost as easily as the cum smeared over her lips and cheeks.

"Good." Dana watched the rise and fall of her chest, grateful to see her breathing begin to calm down. She wouldn't do anything until Stella was ready, of course, but that didn't stop her from wanting more.

After Stella had taken a few more breaths, she looked up and nodded. The response was immediate. Dana pushed her head back down, taking far less time to ease her in than before, and moaned when her tongue clumsily circled her clit. She wasn't allowing Stella any room to be precise or delicate and that made it all the more arousing. Giving into the pleasurable feelings travelling her body, she fell back onto the bed and kept a firm grip with her hands, rolling her hips towards Stella's face and fucking her exactly like she'd asked for. That moment of asking had been fun, but as she writhed against her she came up with something else she'd like to try, if Stella would let her.

It felt wrong to fantasise while someone was so willingly pleasuring her like this, but she was fantasising about the same woman after all, so maybe it wasn't that bad. Guilt wasn't enough to stop her anyway, not while she had this perfect image in her mind. The thought of Stella on her knees like she already was, not just asking but begging, begging to be taken control of and wearing that desperately hopeful expression that Dana had only recently borne witness to. Would she do that? Could she ever feel confident enough to let herself go in that way? Dana wasn't sure, but she damn well hoped to find out soon.

That was the thought that took her over the edge, sending her flying right as Stella's tongue plunged as far as it would go, curling to lick at her walls and vibrating with a whimper when she tugged at her hair again. Her abdominal muscles tensed and her head tipped back against the sheets. Waves of pleasure ripped through her and she moaned with abandon, praising her girlfriend with sounds of satisfaction rather than words.

When she came back down, she let Stella go and lifted her head slowly, looking down at the woman still knelt between her legs with an indulgent smirk. Her squirming was apparent even through the haze of Dana's post-climactic brain and she shook with an energy that could be mistaken for anxiety, if it wasn't for the hooded look of arousal in her eyes.

"You're being so good for me. Did you like that? Did you like being used by me?"

"Yes," Stella quickly answered before furrowing her brow, apparently questioning her own reaction.

Dana's muscles didn't want to work, they were happy to stay right as they were, relaxed against the bed. But she forced herself up to lean down over Stella. Her hand lifted to cup the blonde's jaw and her thumb stroked comfortingly, slipping over her cheek from the wetness that coated her skin.

"Thank you for being honest. You're allowed to like it, honey, and I don't want to do anything unless you're enjoying it too."

The reassurance seemed to help and soon Stella looked ready to continue. Dana wordlessly put her hands out and waited for the blonde to take them before helping her to her feet and wrapping both arms around her waist. Stella's heels had come off somewhere between the front door and the bed and she was glad for it now, otherwise it wouldn't have been so easy to pull her in at the waist and lean against her stomach for a brief hug. Before long however, Dana's hands were moving again, slipping from their rather more family friendly hold on her back and drifting towards her ass.

Dana's time spent fondling her ass was cut short by curiosity. Though she didn't think there was a limit for how long she could happily spend simply touching Stella, she was eager to find out quite how deep her girlfriend's enjoyment of being face-fucked ran. Feeling for the seam at the side of her waist, she looked up into Stella's eyes, and the metallic sound of the zip being undone made for the only noise in the room. Then she pulled the fabric down over her hips and let it fall to the floor.

Stella only had a small window of time to step out of the skirt before Dana was swiping a hand between her thighs, stroking the damp fabric of her panties and making her shudder.

"You really did like it, didn't you?"

Stella wordlessly nodded, falling victim to the fading confidence of minutes prior. But that was okay. Dana was starting to learn how best to both read and reassure her within this dynamic, so all that was really important was Stella's want for it to continue. Confidence could be won with time and patience, she was sure of that.

"Let's take these off." Dana slipped her fingers beneath either side of Stella's panties and pulled them down until they could be kicked off.

Next was her blazer, Dana handled it with a little more care than she had either her skirt or her panties, but that had less to do with the garment itself and more to do with listening to the huffs and grumbles of impatience that the slow pace was causing. Once it had been taken off and folded neatly, she placed it alongside Stella's hat on the bed and got to work on her shirt. In order to reach up far enough, Dana pushed her back a step and stood up from the bed. She turned her collar up and was about to undo her tie, but decided against it in favour of lifting the tie from around the shirt's collar to instead hang around her bare neck.

Although Stella's eyes betrayed that same well of nerves that she'd seen nearly every time she'd looked into them this evening, there was also a willingness about them. She would ask again if this was all alright, but she vowed to stop thereafter, taking her own step to place trust in Stella and her honesty. If the same was true the other way round, which she was certain of judging by Stella's raw and open demeanour, surely it was only fair of her to meet her girlfriend halfway?

"Hey," she whispered, refraining from playing with Stella's clothing any longer so that she could pull her into a proper hug and speak softly into her ear, soft in a way that Dana hoped would be as soothing as her words. "Remember that we can stop at any point. You don't need a reason, all you need to do is tell me. I promise I won't mind. I just want you to be comfortable."

Stella pulled back slightly and for a second Dana thought she was about to ask for them to stop this. The look in her eyes had changed, glinting less from arousal, but what had replaced it was love. She raised her arms from their limp position at her sides and wrapped them around Dana's neck, leaning in for a slow kiss that was more than willingly reciprocated. Her tongue darted out, still slick with wetness from earlier, and lapped at soft lips, parting them with a delicate swipe. They met one another time and time again, tasting and exploring with no urgency whatsoever.

When her kiss-swollen lips were plump enough to match Stella's, Dana broke away and pressed their foreheads together.

"I love you." She punctuated the long since first heard confession with another - comparatively much shorter - kiss.

Smiling wide enough for it to be seen by Dana even this close up, Stella replied, "I love you too."

"Do you want to keep going?"

"Yes," Stella bumped their foreheads together as she nodded. "I trust you."

That admission hit Dana harder than any confession of love and she felt a sudden need to be closer to her, somehow, in any way she could think of. She bent her knees and dropped her hands back to their favoured place on Stella's ass, but this time she lifted them again quickly, picking Stella up and delighting in the accompanying yelped giggle as well as the feeling of her girlfriend's legs wrapping tightly around her.

Her steps were staggered and cautious as she moved around the bed, trying to be careful with her precious cargo, and Stella's continued giddy laughter wasn't helping matters. But she got there in the end, laying Stella down on one side and leaving her there in order to rifle through the bedside drawers. Though her grumble at being left there was ignored while Dana searched, it turned into a whiny sort of mutter when she saw what was coming next.

Dana stripped off her pyjama top, flinging it to one side where it lay forgotten on the floor, and climbed onto the bed beside Stella. Her hands made quick work of the buttons on her girlfriend's shirt and she pulled it to either side before sitting up and reaching towards the items she'd left on the bedside table. Buckles on both sides of the harness meant that it slipped on easily once she got up onto her knees and she then gripped the attached toy to centre it firmly against herself. Another whine caused her to lift her gaze away from the toy cock, looking up to find that Stella was watching intently and tugging her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Sit up," she requested in a lower, more dominant tone than she'd used so far.

Stella sat up from her position on the bed like someone possessed and Dana groaned at the enthusiasm. They shuffled around, resituating themselves to her liking, and she made the hasty decision to grab Stella's hat from where it had been left at the end of the bed.

"Straddle my thighs."

Dana pulled her closer as soon as her leg swung over, nestling her tightly against the toy that protruded between them. She'd taken a bottle of lube out of the drawer at the same time as the strap, but before she got any on her hands, there was something else she needed to do first.

Her blonde curls were tamed slightly by the hat coming down over them, however it couldn't hide her overall appearance. The combination of her wild hair, open shirt, naked lower half, and the tie that hung loosely between the cups of her bra made Stella look like someone who'd been freshly fucked. In a way, she had been, but Dana planned to swiftly remove any doubts of how well-fucked she truly was.

"The crime rate would skyrocket if every detective looked like this," Dana mused, pushing her shirt further to the side so that she could run her fingers beneath the strap running over her shoulder, tugging at it only to watch it snap back against her skin.

Stella laughed, "Well it's a good thing we don't then. My job doesn't need to be any harder, thank you very much."

"But you look so good."

"Don't you like being the only person who gets to see me like this?" Stella's voice grew quieter with each word, hampered by nerves but still managing to reassert her role with a simple question.

A growl rose up from somewhere deep in Dana's throat and she quickly moved both hands back to Stella's ass, holding her forcefully and grinding her against the toy cock between their legs. Just as Stella was getting more comfortable with this dynamic, she was too, and each time she took charge she could feel it becoming easier - more natural.

"I do like it," she practically snarled. "I love it. No one else gets to see what a good girl you really are."

"Just you," Stella whimpered, leaning back into Dana's strong hold on her and giving herself over.

Dana grabbed the bottle of lube and applied it liberally, though she wasn't sure much was really needed given the current state of her girlfriend. The brim of Stella's hat bumped against her forehead as they both looked down to watch her hand, stroking the toy for the moment, so she tipped it back with her clean hand before going any further. Once that was out of the way, she coated Stella's sex using the excess lube on her fingers.

"Go on then, honey." She waited until Stella met her gaze, matching her excited panting and looking more ready than ever. "Ride me like a good, little detective. You know you want to."

Stella nodded and lifted her hips, letting herself be guided with a hand on either side of her waist. The energy of their evening had ebbed and flowed, moving from calm to spirited and everywhere in between, but Dana liked this slow pace. It was soft without losing intensity and she wanted to keep it that way, if only for a moment.

She slowly pulled Stella down, feeling the weight against her own pelvis as the head of the toy slipped inside. It wasn't the first time she'd fucked her with a strap. But she'd never been quite so in control before and she wanted to be certain that Stella wasn't in any discomfort. The weight shifted as her sex accepted the toy cock, pulsing around it while she sank further down into Dana's lap, and the look on her face could only be pleasure. Her bottom lip was held captive again, trapped by her teeth while her eyebrows furrowed with the concentrated sort of arousal that Dana had come to love watching.

When Stella was flush against her, she let her settle briefly before lifting her back up by her waist, guiding a rhythm of languid thrusts that was punctuated by the occasional moan or whimper. Her shirt was rumpled and creased from their activities and the tie hanging between her breasts only accentuated them more. Dana carefully leant forward, letting go of her waist with one hand in order to pull down the cup covering her left breast, and nodded along in time with the rise and fall of Stella’s hips, keeping her tongue level with her nipple at all times to run tight circles around the pert bud.

But she needed more and soon she was using her lips too, kissing her soft skin and sucking at her nipple like she had a point to prove. Maybe she did. Maybe her point was simply that - right here and now, within reason - she could do what she wanted to Stella. A playful bite got her a moan in response, louder than before, and that was proof enough.

Stella grumbled when Dana sat back up and she felt a sudden urge to reassert herself.

"I thought you were the one taking orders today? Or are you trying to tell me what to do?"

"No," Stella hastily replied, shaking her head vigorously enough for her hat to fall off and land beside them.

They looked into one another's eyes and Dana couldn't be sure who broke first, but they both started to laugh. Stella's giggles were lighter than usual, more carefree, and hearing them was almost nicer than when she'd held her down by her hair and fucked her face. Almost.

Using the element of surprise, she lifted Stella again and pulled her down roughly, sheathing the cock inside her and using what little room she had between her legs to grind up against her. She couldn't feel it herself, but from Stella's reaction she knew the toy was pressed against her g-spot, shifting ever so slightly with each grind and causing a slew of happy noises to fall from her lips.

"See?" She timed her words to each shallow thrust. "Isn't it better when you let me take control?"

"Yes, Dana."

Stella's eyes fell closed and she seized the opportunity to surprise her again, reaching up to gently tug at her exposed nipple and rolling it softly between the pads of her fingers.

"Oh!"

It was Dana's turn to be surprised then. She hadn't realised quite how close Stella was, but soon the blonde was careening forwards to land on her chest, writhing against her and sinking as far into her lap as she could go. Whiny breaths were released with each convulsing rock of her hips and her hands clung to Dana's shoulders as if she might otherwise have fallen.

Taking a few minutes to compose herself as she came down, Stella turned her face in towards Dana's neck. The occasional sound of lips against skin broke the silence, leaving chaste kisses as she went and relaxing further into her with each one.

"Hi," she whispered in the climax-laced tone that Dana had been addicted to ever since first hearing it.

"Here," Dana offered. "Let's get you up so I can take this strap off, then you can have all the cuddles you want."

Stella hummed happily, causing her to shiver when the vibrations tickled her sensitive skin. "Sounds like a plan."

She took a little more convincing to move but, once upright, Stella decided that she was going to have a shower. Dana offered to join her whilst not overstepping, making clear that it was entirely up to her, and when Stella declined she put her pyjamas back on and headed downstairs. To some it might’ve been considered a snub but Dana knew that wasn’t the case. She simply needed time to process, and that was more than understandable.

When Stella appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, still damp from the shower and clad in a soft robe, Dana handed her one of the glasses of wine she’d just poured and walked ahead into the living room. She sat down at one end of the sofa and looked up to find the blonde watching her with an air of pantomime disapproval.

“If I remember correctly, you promised to give me what I want.”

Stella took her glass and set them both on the coffee table before manoeuvring around her and climbing onto the sofa. There hadn’t been any space, but Stella made her own, forcing Dana to shift forwards and nearly kicking her in the head whilst lifting a leg over her. Once they were settled, Dana sighed as she leant back against her girlfriend’s chest and ran her hand along her thigh. Stella’s body encased her and soon her arms did too, wrapping around her middle and pulling her in even closer.

“This, this is what I wanted.”

It was only then that Dana took note of Stella’s rather particular idiosyncrasy. For someone who could be so very unsure of herself in bed, at least in certain situations, she was incredibly confident when it came to demanding other forms of affection. Her penchant for physical contact would’ve probably come as a surprise to most of the people that knew her, it certainly had to Dana near the start of their relationship. Nevertheless, she seemed more comfortable asking for that than she did anything else.

“Stel,” Dana began, musing aloud more than really asking. “Why is cuddling me so much easier for you than asking me for other stuff? I’m not complaining, I love how affectionate you are. I guess I was just wondering. Is it really that different?”

“Don’t you remember?”

She shook her head, utterly confused by the question, and felt Stella’s warm breath on her skin milliseconds before a kiss was planted on her forehead, so high up that it skated her hairline. Her automatic response was to tip her head back and she met her girlfriend’s upside down gaze with a gently arched brow.

“It must’ve been the third or fourth time you stayed overnight. We were sitting right here, drinking coffee one morning, and I put my arm around you without really thinking. I thought I might’ve overstepped and I tried to pull away, but you held onto my hand and kept me close.”

Dana wanted to keep looking up, but her neck was beginning to hurt, so she turned herself over in Stella’s arms and lay on her side. From there she could watch her happily, waiting for the rest of a story that clearly wasn’t over.

“I can never remember exactly what you said. Believe me, I’ve tried to more than once. But it was something along the lines of you wanting to be close to me, and that I should feel free to act on any affectionate impulses I might have because you surely wouldn't dislike them. At first, I wasn’t sure whether to believe you or not. It could’ve simply been you trying to be nice. You’ve always been so kind to me.”

She shuffled herself up Stella’s chest, earning a chuckle in the laborious process, and leant in to kiss her. “You’ve always deserved kindness.”

Stella tilted her head at the remark, silently questioning it, but she didn’t counter it with outright denial like she might have a few years ago.

“Then I looked at you,” she continued as if nothing had been said in between, outwardly talking to Dana but with a distance in her eyes that suggested she was perhaps explaining it to herself just the same. “It felt like I was seeing you for the first time, properly seeing you. You smiled at me and your expression was so real, so honest, that I couldn’t help but take you at your word. You know what I’m like, how I overthink even the most banal things. Well since that day, I’ve barely given the idea of being close to you a second thought, at least until now.”

“Stop thinking about it then.” Dana tried to keep the mood light, concerned that Stella might backtrack now that her thoughts were out in the open. “Problem solved, and anyway, I still like how cuddly you are so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Reaching out with her free arm, the one not trapped between their bodies, she passed Stella one of the untouched glasses of wine from the coffee table and took the other for herself. Lying on her side like this didn’t provide the easiest angle to drink at, even though Stella was propped up against the arm of the sofa. But she was desperate not to move away. No, she wanted to stay right where she was and soak up this freely given affection.

Following the confession, they drifted into a peaceful silence. Her mind wandered, led by her heart more than any rational thought, and she started to understand the message behind Stella’s anecdote. Dana had, in her own way, given permission at a time when it was most needed. Maybe that was what she needed to do again now. Maybe that’s how she would get through to Stella that any and all things could be asked of her without fear of judgement or reproach.

The evening’s exertions left her sleepy, and seconds after she’d set her glass back on the table, she felt herself begin to drift off. It wasn’t the time for deep analysis of how she might once again prove herself. But she had time enough come the morning, and all the mornings they would have together after that.

Notes:

this chapter sparked inspiration for an additional chapter, which sparked inspiration for an additional chapter...

also, did stella being physically affectionate need to be a part of the plot? no. but at this point am I practically unable to write about her without including it? absolutely.

Chapter 4: Lingerie

Notes:

thank you inuendo_outuendo!! getting stella's mental state right feels like the hardest part of this fic and your ideas/discussions are always v helpful!

As she walked down the corridor, Stella felt almost giddy with excitement.

Now that she was beginning to trust her own feelings about all of this, the lingering anxieties were easier to push aside. Dana enjoyed it, and she certainly did too, so what was there to worry about? Getting rid of her doubts was easier said than done, but they quieted further with every new experience.

This was certainly a new experience, and one that she'd spent the better part of the afternoon distracted by. The monotony of case reviews had made for background noise whilst she thought about it and impatience had made the day drag on, but finally she was out of the door and on her way to Dana's office.

The office door loomed ahead, bearing an engraved sign, 'Dr Dana Scully, Biochem. Research Lead'. She picked up her pace. With a gentle knock and a soft, "come in," heard from the other side, she pushed it open and stepped through to find her girlfriend engrossed in something or other on the brightly lit computer. The room was otherwise dark and it looked like Dana had barely moved in hours. Given the opportunity of distraction, she turned back to lock the door and undid the top few buttons of her shirt before moving closer.

"Hi, Stel." Dana waved her over without looking away from the screen.

Circling the desk, she took a steadying breath and sat directly on her girlfriend's lap, dangling her legs off to one side and slipping a hand around to hold the back of the chair when Dana flinched in surprise.

"Hi." Stella smiled when she turned to look at her.

"Stel, what are you-" Dana's eyes were predictably drawn down to where her shirt was nearly half open, flaring out across her chest from its drawn-in point at her middle. "Oh."

Peering towards the computer, she asked, "What are you looking at?"

"Doesn't matter." Dana didn't look up even once whilst talking.

"It does," she countered. "I'm interested."

Her girlfriend made eye contact then, sharing a dark look that Stella could feel warming her from the inside out.

"I told you. It doesn't matter." Dana pushed her shirt further out of the way and started to play with one of the straps on her bra, running a finger beneath it before letting it snap back against her skin. "Not when you show up to my office in new lingerie. Go and lock the door."

"I already did."

Basking in the glow of her pleased smile, she leant back as Dana slid her hand down to finish undoing the buttons and pulled her shirt open to hang from either shoulder. It stayed tucked into her pencil skirt but that was soon rectified with a force great enough that she thought it might've ripped. Whether or not it had, she didn't really care, not when she could see the want on Dana's face once her bra was fully on show.

"So many straps," the redhead whispered while playing with them, tugging at the strips of dark blue fabric that overlapped across her chest. "It almost looks like a harness."

Stella was surprised by her own reaction then, the idea of wearing a harness had never sounded appealing until Dana was the one suggesting it. Though she said nothing, the thought must've been clear on her face.

"You like the sound of that, huh? Maybe we need to go shopping. I'd love to see you in leather."

She was certainly growing more comfortable in her newfound role, but she wasn't yet comfortable enough to always give more than a nod in response to her girlfriend's ideas. It scared her sometimes, wanting this, and she remained confused about how willing she was to go along with Dana's every suggestion - even though she was the one who had wanted any of this in the first place. Now that the idea had been brought up, she couldn't help but imagine the bite of leather on her skin, leaving red marks from where it had been used to keep her restrained or pull her onto the strap that she wished was inside her.

"For now though," Dana continued - unaware of the images running through her mind, "I'd like to pay you back for dressing up so nicely for me. Would you like that, honey?"

Another nod didn't have the same effect this time and she arched her brow questioningly. Dana slid a hand around her waist to pull her closer and dragged the other hand up her thigh, pushing it beneath the taut fabric of her skirt only to stop midway towards where Stella wanted her fingers to go.

"I said, would you like that?"

She felt a jump in her pulse as soon as she understood how she was expected to answer. "Yes, please."

"Good girl," Dana purred.

A sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a groan passed her lips at the praise and it felt as though she fell into a stupor when the redhead grinned. Her eyes held Dana's but her mind was elsewhere entirely, lost to the feeling of heat brewing in her core and arousal dampening the dark blue panties she'd bought to match her bra. That stupor-inducing grin spread wider still as her own mouth dropped open and her head soon fell to Dana's shoulder.

"No." The hand on her thigh retreated and she whined helplessly. "Keep your head up. I want to watch you."

It took some effort but she managed to lift her head once more and Dana kept to her word, slipping her hand back beneath the skirt and pushing between her thighs to stroke a finger along damp fabric.

"Who would've thought? DSI Gibson, the fierce detective, is secretly such a good, wet girl for me?"

"Yes, Dana," she whispered, although the question didn't really need an answer, nodding her head vigorously and relaxing into her role.

"I'm not sure if I can keep going though. You were so loud for me last time. We don't want everyone on this floor hearing how noisy you can get."

"But, but," she argued without making any sort of point.

"Shh," Dana soothed, "I've got an idea. But you need to promise that you'll behave. Can you do that for me, honey? Can you listen and do what I say?"

"Yes, Dana."

Dana removed her hand entirely then, earning another whine that was silenced with a pointed look. She took Stella's hand in her own and shifted them awkwardly, slipping the blonde further down her lap, before letting go to undo her own trousers. Stella's breathing quickened in anticipation and she happily let her hand be moved again, held tightly at the wrist to be slipped down into Dana's panties. The wetness she felt there added to her excitement and she swiped her index and middle fingers through it before pulling her hand back out. Dana kept hold of her wrist and forced her hand up until it was at her mouth.

"Put your fingers in your mouth and close your lips around them. If they slip out then I stop. Understood?"

"Mmhmm," she hummed around her fingers, having already eagerly shoved them into her own mouth.

"Ugh," Dana groaned, "so good for me."

Her willingness was rewarded with a swipe of the redhead's fingers against her panties before the fabric was swiftly pushed aside for access. Keeping to her word, her lips stayed tight around her fingers when Dana's actions made her want to let out a moan. Being forced to stay quiet only made the experience hotter and she tried to show every sound that she wanted to make through her expressions, urging her girlfriend on with her eyes whilst she couldn't with her mouth.

When Dana pushed one finger inside her, the tiniest of whimpers was audible even through her closed lips. A warning glance told her to go no further and she tried as hard as she could. But when a second finger joined the first and a gentle pace started up, she was unable to stop the low-pitched moan that rang out in the quiet of the office. Her jaw clenched as she bit down on her fingers in a desperate attempt to avoid further noise, but the slight pain had the opposite effect on her.

Dana warned her then, "Stella, I told you, you need to be quiet. Otherwise, you have to wait until we get home."

She probably looked a touch ridiculous with one hand sticking out of her mouth, frantically shaking her head, but she didn't care whatsoever. They'd built up enough trust that she wasn't quite so worried about embarrassing herself anymore as she had been and nothing sounded worse in that moment than being made to wait any longer. Breaking the rule that had been set, she hoped her adjustment would be accepted when she slipped her fingers from her mouth and quickly slapped her hand over her lips instead, pressing down with her palm.

"If you think you can stay quieter that way then fine. But if you make one more loud noise then I will stop. Is that clear?"

With another eager nod, Stella shuddered as Dana quickly went back to what she'd been doing, immediately reentering her with two fingers and starting up an unexpectedly fast pace. At that point, the loudest part of it all was the lewd sound of her arousal squelching around Dana's hand with each thrust. She rocked her hips as best she could within the confines of her skirt to aid the motion. Her hand stayed tightly held over her lips and she lifted the other towards her breasts before asking permission with a raise of her eyebrows.

"Yes, honey, play with yourself. Pull it down so I can watch."

Normally she'd give a little more respect to newer pieces of lingerie, especially a set that cost as much as this one had. But simply knowing that Dana wanted her to do it made her nearly rip the lace across her right breast as she forced it down her skin. The strap details of the garment meant that it stayed rather tight to her body and the bunched fabric of the cup pushed her breast up towards her waiting hand. Her nipples stood at attention and she stroked a finger across the still covered one, shivering as she did so, before moving to the other and pinching it tightly between two fingers.

Dana's eyes lit up as she rolled her nipple between the pads of her fingers and the palm over her mouth had to tighten in order to stop a whimper when she gently tugged at it, something that she knew her girlfriend liked to do to her. In response to her display, Dana's fingers inside her sped up even more, thrusting and curling to hit her g-spot. When they stroked along the spongy flesh, she felt the warmth in her abdomen begin to spread, traveling everywhere between her sorely aroused nipples and unattended clit. As if hearing her unspoken desires, the redhead shifted awkwardly beneath her tight skirt and the lightest pressure of Dana's palm against her clit sent her flying.

The warmth that had started to spread now burst forth, forcing a surge of heat through her and sending fiery trails along her skin as she unconsciously squirmed within her girlfriend's tight hold. Her eyelids fluttered closed as her eyes rolled back and the sole thought in her mind was to stay quiet. In place of the moans that Dana often managed to coax from her, she let out a series of panting breaths that matched the timing of the twitches in her thighs whilst they clenched around her girlfriend's hand.

"See, I knew you could stay quiet. You did so well."

Dana's praise was gentler then, spoken in a hushed tone whilst she leant in and retook the place on her shoulder that she'd wanted earlier on. Stella was allowed to stay there this time and she nuzzled closer into the crook of her neck as she dropped the hand that was no longer needed to help stay silent. Dana removed her fingers from between her legs and draped her shirt back over her chest, ignoring the quiet whimper she produced as the fabric brushed her nipple, before wrapping her up in a tight hug.

"What prompted all this then? You just couldn't wait for me to get home?"

"No," she replied quietly. Her voice somehow still felt as breathy and overworked as it often did after climaxing, even without making much noise in the first place. "I planned it this morning. I thought you'd like the surprise… And I liked it."

Dana chuckled. "Believe me, I did too. I think you should quit the Met and come and work here, then we can do this everyday."

"Anything for you," she whispered sleepily, feeling the full effects of a day at work followed by an orgasm and her girlfriend's embrace.

"Anything?"

"Well, maybe not quite anything."

"That's more like it," Dana laughed. "You're not that obedient."

Though the comment clearly wasn't serious, Stella couldn't help but take it as some sort of challenge. Her own dichotomy entertained her for a second. Of course her reaction was an instinctual urge to prove her girlfriend wrong whilst also proving herself obedient - obedience in disobedience. The term had always brushed her the wrong way. It was something that had been used against her as a child when boys could do as they pleased, all the while she'd faced expectations of being 'prim and proper'. However, when it rolled off Dana's tongue, she didn't bristle in quite the same way.

In fact, beneath a rather shallow simmering of defiance, the thought of willing obedience tasted sweeter than it ever had before.

"Is there anything you want, Dana?"

She stayed tucked against her shoulder, losing any implications she might've gained from a suggestive look or an arched brow. So instead she made sure to enunciate for full effect, lacing the words with raspy desire and delighting in the unconscious clenching of Dana's hand, twisting the fabric of her shirt against her back.

"I can think of a few things, honey, but I'm not sure about trying most of them in my office. There is one though..."

Dana trailed off and leant back, ignoring another of her whines when Stella lost the closeness of their embrace. As their eyes met, she continued, "What if I asked you to sit on the floor in front of me, under my desk, and show me just how willing you really are?"

It wasn't quite a proper answer to her question, but Dana didn't look ready to complain when she immediately slipped off her lap. The post-climax sleepiness was fading fast in her mind and the excitement that replaced it kept growing and growing. She hadn't been asked to kneel but she did so anyway, leaving her skirt bunched up around her thighs where it had been left by her girlfriend and enjoying the feeling of rough carpet against her shins more than she would’ve anticipated.

If willingness was the name of the game, then she hoped her next move would be allowed when she reached up to start tugging at Dana's trousers, mindful not to bump her head on the desk’s edge.

"What a good girl."

Smiling adoringly up at her girlfriend felt wrong, but it felt so very right at the same time. Stella wanted to be praised by her, to please her, and to prove that being called her good girl was entirely justified. Although Freudian ideas and pop psychology had left her reeling upon first realising the extent of her own submissive streak, it was much harder to question herself whilst caught up in a moment like this one. Were her colleagues to ever find out, not that they had any reason to, she knew it would be the talk of the office for weeks if not months at a minimum. But there were only two people whose opinions truly mattered.

Dana had reassured her more than once about all of this, so that just left her. As long as she was happy, who gave a fuck? The tone she was taking with herself was blunt and deliberate, a way of contrasting her uncertainty with its exact opposite, and she was incredibly glad that it seemed to be working.

"I am," she whispered, watching as Dana's underwear fell down her calves.

"Can you say it, honey?" She felt a hand reach down to cup her jaw and tilt her head up. "What are you?"

When their eyes met once more, she leant forward, shuffling closer and braving herself to take another emotional step. A lack of judgement rang through in Dana's expression. If she couldn't get the words out then that would be okay too. But Stella knew how much it would please her if she managed to say it, and that's what she wanted more than anything else.

"Your good girl."

Notes:

this is actually the first chapter I wrote for this fic, so I'm excited to post it

they will start to try new things soon, but to me this chapter felt like the biggest 'step' so far from stella's perspective, and from here it can only go upwards (or perhaps not, bumps in the road are pretty human after all)

Chapter 5: Squirting

Notes:

thank you inuendo_outuendo for all your help!!

Tamping down heavy breaths, Dana sat up from her position between Stella's thighs and drew the back of her hand across her lips, wiping away the arousal that coated them.

A lazy Saturday morning had started off innocently enough, but Stella's wandering hands invited her own and it wasn't long before that restless energy was matched. Soft kisses turned heated, gentle caresses turned frantic, and soon Dana was rolling over to straddle her and pin her to the bed. Although it felt nice, for her few things compared to the inviting space between the blonde's thighs. So she quickly began to move again, descending without lifting her head such that she could trail her tongue down the path of Stella's chest, tracing from her neck, between her breasts, and across her stomach before nearly reaching her sex. A teasing flick of the tip of her tongue against Stella's hip earned a grumble and she chuckled to herself as she got comfortable.

Her first orgasm had come easily, so to speak, and as Dana sat there between her parted legs she couldn't help but want to go for a second.

"I want to make you come again," she admitted, leaning in to stroke a hand along Stella's thigh.

"Yes, please."

"Mmm." She abandoned her upright position and leant down over the blonde to steal another kiss, forcing her to taste her own arousal. "I love hearing you say that."

Stella smiled up at her at an angle that made her wet lips catch the light, looking altogether sweet in a manner that seemed so opposed to what they were doing, and she smiled back immediately. This was happening more and more. She'd take the lead and, yes, Stella would still have moments of hesitation. But their frequency dropped with practice, replaced by moments like this one where Dana got a chance to watch her relax unprompted.

In a practised motion, she dropped back down to Stella's chest and dangled an arm off the side of the bed, reaching into the bedside drawer and feeling for the item she wanted. Her girlfriend held on loosely at her waist and the touch was invitingly warm, but now wasn't the time for her to get distracted.

"Let go of me, honey. You can have a hug once I'm finished with you - or after I've finished you," she laughed.

Stella let out a disgruntled sigh. "Fine."

The response was curt and, for the first time, Dana truly reacted without thinking. Leaning back down over her, she dropped the vibrator she'd been holding and grabbed Stella by the jaw. Her grip wasn't bruising but it was definitely firm.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she teased, trying to keep the sudden breathlessness from her tone that had emerged upon seeing Stella's wide eyes and feeling her shuddered reaction. "I didn't realise listening to me was such a chore. Should I stop now? Should I put back the vibrator I was going to use and just leave you here to do it yourself? Is that what you want?"

Dana's fingers pressed hard enough to leave faint pink marks on her skin as she shook her head.

"Tell me. What do you want?"

"I... I-" Stella faltered.

This was all rather new to them both but Dana didn't want to back down now. Had she given it any conscious thought, she probably wouldn't have gone that far that fast. However, she'd already done it, and she'd already seen the way Stella looked at her whilst it happened. There was no backing down from that hopelessly aroused desperation in her eyes, she couldn't do that to either of them.

"Tell me." She relaxed her hand slightly in order to bend down and run her tongue along the column of Stella's throat, losing nothing in her intensity except eye contact and hoping that would be enough.

"I want to come again."

The blonde's voice was even shakier than her body and Dana felt a need to both reward and reassure her.

"Good girl," she whispered against her neck, relishing the shiver those words produced. "See? That wasn't so hard."

Sitting back up, she shuffled down to her previous spot between Stella's legs and picked up the discarded vibrator. Her girlfriend whimpered at an unexpected swipe of her fingers, collecting enough arousal to comfortably lubricate the toy, and she smiled to herself as she worked. It felt like aeons ago now, but she could remember a time when getting any noise out of Stella was considered a personal triumph. Years had passed and their relationship grew, evolved, and with that came a lessening of inhibitions that appeared to still be ongoing.

Dana broke from those thoughts to part her wet lips, holding her with one hand whilst the other fiddled with the vibrator. She pressed it against her clit, adjusting to make sure that the suction device properly encircled the bud, and turned it onto the first setting. Stella's eyes were dark and willing, watching her as she looked up after making sure the toy was in the right place. She might've been in charge but that simple expression compelled her in a way little else could.

Stella's ass lifted off the bed when she gently pushed one finger inside her, rocking against the toy and her hand. "That's it, honey."

The comment spurred her girlfriend on and Dana was happy to watch whilst she rolled her hips to create a slow, thrusting motion. Flicking the vibrator up a level caused her to start clutching at the sheets, writhing against them and pushing herself up towards the sensation, seeking more as her eyes closed and her head tipped back against the pillow.

Adding a second finger, she began fucking Stella harder, curling to stroke deep inside her and turning the vibrator up just to see how the blonde would react. The first half of a throaty moan was let out before being stifled and she hummed in determination whilst increasing the vibrations even more. Wetness lewdly coated Dana's fingers, practically dripping from her with each thrust.

"Oh!"

That was what she'd been hoping to hear, something free, something expressed without hesitation or apology, and it only made her want to give Stella all the more reason to cry out.

"Uhhh-"

Okay, she could accept that. Dana might not have wanted her to stop herself, but she could cope if it was caused by Stella's whiny breath ending on a harsh bite of her bottom lip. Though the way her teeth caught her lip was hard to look away from, it was made easier by focusing on the wet heat between her legs that was just as much fun to watch. Her inner thighs were slick with arousal and her continued squirming against Dana's hand moved that wetness about further still.

On a particularly deep thrust, Dana could almost feel the tightening of her abdominal wall through her sex. Stella's body went some way to curling in on itself as her orgasm neared and she used the hand still holding the vibrator to push her back down without relenting for even a second. That taste of rough treatment was what pushed her over the edge. Dana watched, captivated, as her face scrunched up and her knuckles went white from the pressure of her grip on the sheets.

However, it was impossible to keep looking at her girlfriend's face or hands when she felt a gush of arousal against her own hand. That was new.

She turned the vibrator down to a more gentle setting as Stella rode out her orgasm and found the blonde's cum now went not just past her fingers but had squirted up across her wrist as well as soaking a patch of the bedsheet beneath them. Her hand slowed before coming to a stop, and as soon as she'd slipped her fingers back out, she lifted her arm to lick from her wrist upwards.

Whilst distracted by how arousing the experience was, she failed to notice Stella's hands coming up to hide her flushed cheeks and muffle an embarrassed groan.

"Stel?" she questioned after looking up, pulling the vibrator away completely and turning it off. "Are you alright?"

"That's never happened before."

Suddenly, her attempts to hide made sense.

"It's okay," Dana whispered as she set the toy out of the way beside them and lay back down on top of her. "You don't have to hide from me."

Stella didn't respond and so she pushed further, lifting her hands from her face and interlocking their fingers before pushing up until her hands were pinned above her shoulders, pressing down into the pillow on either side of her head.

"I promise, honey, you don't need to be embarrassed. I'm pretty sure that's the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Searching her face, her girlfriend's eyes trailed over her features with an adorable helplessness that tugged at her heart. She wanted to reassure her, she needed to reassure her, and she'd be damned if she didn't.

"Can I show you?" She let the words out against Stella's lips and paused for a brief kiss. "Can I show you how much I loved it?"

A confused but willing nod was about as much as she could ask for. Dana took it gratefully.

Her argument began with another kiss, imploring Stella to treat herself with as much care as the gentle touch possessed. It then advanced, ghosting her lips down over the blonde's jaw and stopping on her neck for a moment, darting her tongue out to lap at the soft skin and leaving kiss after kiss in her wake. Her main point was yet to come but she wanted to build up to it. This was the introduction, and vague memories of high school debate clubs taught her that the start could be just as important as the end if she wanted to be convincing.

Moving further, she kept Stella's hands interlocked with hers as she shuffled down, indulging in the feeling of a pliant body under her own and in the knowledge of just how much was being given to her in this moment. The step she'd taken earlier felt meagre now. A simple - if dominating - grasp of her girlfriend's jaw was nothing in comparison to being allowed this, the reins of control offered up as though she deserved them. Dana had to hope that she did in fact deserve them, not just for Stella but for herself. The idea of her own inability to live up to the task was almost scarier than the thought of causing disappointment.

She kissed a path along her chest, pressing her lips into the shallow dip below her collarbone, making love to her in as true a sense of the phrase as she could muster.

Stella remained amenable for the most part, that is until Dana finished with her chest, punctuating the opening statement with a swirl of her tongue around one of her nipples. But then a skating of her lips across her stomach caused a tense response.

"You're okay," she reminded. "I love you."

On a deep sigh, she felt Stella's body relaxed into the bed, sinking further than before.

"I love you too."

"Shhh." She smiled as she tipped her head up to make eye contact, widening the curl of her lips when she saw Stella strain to also lift her head from the pillow. "You know how much I like hearing you say that, but you don't need to say anything right now. Just feel, okay?"

Dana watched as her head hit the pillow with a slight nod on the way down. Stella's lips were parted, aiding each slow but heavy breath, and it gave her an idea.

She let go of one hand to reach down beneath herself, slipping her index and middle fingers into her own sex to coat them with arousal. Stella had been more than receptive the last time she'd tried this and she hoped it might elicit a similar effect today. Making sure not to wipe much away on the sheets, she pulled her hand back up and pressed it against the blonde's bottom lip before pushing gently, delighted by the immediate contact with her dexterous tongue.

Confirming Stella's role and hoping it would help her to stay relaxed, she whispered, "Good girl."

From there she left her fingers to continue being lapped at and tried to remember where exactly she'd gotten to in her argument. It was rather butchered by this point, she'd managed to skip her main point and jump straight to rebuttals due to Stella's nerves, but she was fairly confident that it wouldn't matter in the end, not once she'd gotten to the most convincing part.

Letting go of Stella's other hand, Dana settled between her thighs and slung one leg over her shoulder to get closer. She took her time, clearing the sheen of arousal from her inner thigh with broad strokes of her tongue, and paused to instead leave a kiss every time she felt a twitch or a tremble. Her girlfriend's other thigh was harder to reach but she decided that was simply a good excuse to get even closer, mulling over the thought that suffocation between Stella's thighs might just be her ideal way to bow out of this world.

After cleaning the cum from her thighs, Dana's fingers broke from her lips and she wrapped either arm around her legs to hold her tight. A cursory swipe of her tongue, barely slipping between the blonde's labia, gave way to another and then a third. Before long, she was lapping at her sex much like Stella had the redhead's fingers. It was a simple mission, really, working to make her girlfriend come with as much enthusiasm as she could convey, and it was made all the easier by how gladly she would do it regardless. Pleasuring Stella didn't exactly sound like a bad idea to her at any time of day, let alone here and now.

Dana's lips pursed around her clit and she let out a sort of aroused grunt, a noise she'd never been known to make before. Though, to be fair, Dana had rarely been given the chance to make her come this many times in a row. It wasn't for lack of trying, but Stella was a far more reciprocal lover than she'd previously been used to and she was hardly ever given a chance to go this long without the tables being turned. Perhaps that was something else to work on, she noted, because if Stella acted like this every time then she wanted to keep witnessing it.

As her thoughts drifted, so too did the blonde's hands, with one clenching against her own stomach and the other reaching down to run through Dana's hair. The move hadn't been requested but there was no pressure behind it. She clearly wasn't trying to take control, so it was allowed for the time being.

Something about the added physical connection must've done Stella in because Dana soon felt heels dragging up her back and thighs tensing on either side of her head. Arousal dripped onto her tongue as she switched back to softer strokes, helping her girlfriend to come down from the climax as gently as possible, and she heard a muffled whine from between the tight press of Stella's legs against her ears. It took a few more minutes to clean her up but Dana was determined to be thorough. She wasn't going to waste a second of her trust.

When the grip of Stella's thighs released, she looked up to find she was being stared at with an energy she could only liken to hunger. Her hair was tugged, pulling her up and back over the blonde's body, and she happily went with it. Stella's other hand moved to her jaw and she let herself be guided into an uncoordinated but passionate kiss.

The tang of their shared arousal made for an overwhelming sensation and Dana willingly succumbed to every dart of Stella's tongue into her mouth, every wet smack of their lips parting before meeting again, and every touch of their bodies against one another. In doing so, she was blindsided when Stella pushed up from the bed to flip them over. She landed with a groan, soon to be swallowed by her girlfriend, but otherwise went with it for the moment. Dana might've been trying her hand at being the dominant party, but that fact didn't make it any easier for her to deny Stella what she so clearly wanted.

"Sorry," the blonde panted as she lifted herself up, resting her forearms alongside Dana's shoulders. "I got carried away."

Stella smiled down at her, looking so incredibly happy that she thought her heart might burst. The expression was a far cry from the embarrassed woman of earlier and Dana felt a sense of pride at having been the person to cause it.

"Apology accepted." She smiled back and ran her hand up Stella's arm. "I'm just glad you're feeling better."

"Thanks to you."

Dana turned them both back over, moving far slower than Stella had, and brushed a wayward blonde curl from her cheek. "I can think of a better way for you to thank me."

Her girlfriend's face lit up and she chuckled quietly as she resituated herself, straddling Stella's midriff and unable to stop herself from grinding lightly against her when she settled there.

"Because you've been so good for me, I'll let you pick. What do you want, honey?"

"I want you to ride my face," Stella replied more confidently than she had all morning, "please."

"Well, if you really want me to," she laughed.

It would've been nice to see Stella so relaxed at any moment, but Dana was even more pleased to see her like this now. She shuffled forwards on her knees and climbed over to rest against the blonde's shoulders, barely leaning back on her chest.

"Hands on my thighs." She waited until Stella's arms were wrapped around her legs. "Good girl."

Holding onto the headboard with one hand, she ran the other through blonde hair, making sure to get a tight grip before lowering her hips down. Her own arousal had been left ignored for some time but it certainly made its presence known when she felt Stella's tongue dip into her entrance. Plans for taking her time went out of the window and she let out a content sigh whilst a slight grinding motion tipped her forwards so that Stella's nose brushed against her clit. Dana reminded herself of the task requested. She had been asked to ride her face, after all.

Her girlfriend's arms supported her gently as she rocked and that contact was the exact opposite of Dana's rough hold on her hair. She closed her eyes, relying on Stella to communicate by tapping if needed, and relaxed both her body and mind. Her reassurance had worked and her girlfriend was calm and more confident in her role than she had ever been before, now all Dana needed to do was exactly what had been asked.

Warmth pooled and settled deep in her core, rippling with each thrust of her hips as if liquid desire was spilling with each movement, singeing her with pleasure. Her soft moan was rewarded with a pleased hum that vibrated through her and she pulled Stella even closer to feel it all the more.

"Right there," she whimpered.

Upon hearing the change in her tone, Stella's tongue worked faster, pushing as far inside Dana as she could go and flicking upwards to run along her front wall. She pulled her down further still and gripped her thighs to keep her there, half-pleasuring her and half-holding her up in the same motion. One of Stella's hands drifted from her leg to her back and Dana leant into the support as another spill of arousal flooded her.

"Fuck."

Her fingers clenched against the headboard when her climax peaked and she let Stella take more of her weight so as not to collapse entirely. The time she'd spent attending to her girlfriend was like a drawn out form of foreplay for herself, which sent her into an unexpectedly strong orgasm now, and she was left to reap its rewards.

As she began to relax, she swung her leg back over Stella's chest so that she was kneeling beside her. Messy red locks framed her glistening cheeks as Dana leant down, reaching to lick across her face much like she had her thighs. When she was finished, she lay down alongside her and put an arm across her waist, pulling her in.

"Why don't you run a bath and I'll join you after I've changed the sheets?"

Stella turned to look at her, sporting a grimace that was quickly hidden against her shoulder, and Dana sighed before moving her hand again to stroke up and down the blonde's back. She wasn't sure what the reaction would be to her next idea, she hadn't tried to keep their dynamic going like this before. But Stella's uncertainty made her want to try something.

"Stop it, honey," Dana ventured, unsure if her girlfriend's immediate tensing at the pet name was a good or bad sign. "I already told you how I feel about it and you're still not listening? I thought you wanted to be good for me?"

"Yes, Dana," she whispered. She was yet to move but the reply seemed positive.

"Go on then. Wait," Dana requested just as she began to sit up, tugging her back down for one last kiss. "Now you can go."

Stella playfully rolled her eyes, but otherwise got up obediently and headed for the bathroom.

Once she was done with changing the bedding, Dana followed along to find that the bath was nearly full. Stella was bent over the side, dangling one hand into the water, and she stepped up behind her to wrap both arms around her waist.

"Thank you." She kissed the back of her shoulder.

They got in one after the other and her arms took back their place across the blonde's midriff, holding her close and leaning back against the end of the bath to get comfortable. Stella soon relaxed against her stomach and she felt a hand stroking along her forearms for a while before any words were spoken.

"I know it's barely midday, but I feel like I could fall asleep right here."

"I must've tired you out." Dana buried her smile in the damp blonde curls in front of her. "You can sleep if you want though, I'll wake you up when it gets cold."

Stella had surprised her more than once, even just today, but what she did next was perhaps the most surprising thing of all. Without further argument, complaint, or even simply acknowledgement, she took Dana up on the offer and shifted onto her side. She nuzzled her cheek against the redhead's chest and let her arms get caught within her girlfriend's embrace. Before long, the only reply she had left to offer came in the form of gentle snoring.

Dana looked down at her, trying to commit every part of this to memory, and had to quell the tears that threatened to fall for fear ragged breathing might wake her. She wondered if her feelings were made stronger by her own tiredness, they'd had a rather more active morning than usual. But whatever the cause, whether strengthened by exhaustion or purely in reaction to her girlfriend's display of trust, it didn't matter. In all honesty, very little did matter to her in that moment. She had but two concerns.

The first was staying awake herself in order to keep her promise, and that task was made easier by the second, this being to keep doing whatever it was that she seemed to be doing.

Stella was complex and - though she would never dare tell the woman given the reasonable chance of it being taken negatively - on occasion difficult. But that difficulty wasn't a bad thing, it came from a combination of her own complexity and Dana's simple urge to understand her. The mysterious edge she'd worn with pride near the start of their relationship had long since faded, and what had replaced it was a person with such depth to her character that Dana sometimes struggled to fully conceptualise it.

She didn't know quite what it was about her actions that Stella appeared to resonate with, nor why they had this push-and-pull to their new dynamic that seemed to work regardless of their ability to understand it. What she did know was that it worked, or at least it had so far.

Both in theory and in times long since gone by, Dana found it hard to maintain commitment in the face of endless questions to which she might never receive an answer. But committing to people, especially those whom she loved and respected, had never been so much of a challenge. Besides, in practice it was another story.

In practice, she was blissfully sated with the love of her life in her arms; in practice, she was in the house that felt more like home than any she could remember before it; and in practice, Stella's every effort towards building their trust made her heart grow that little bit warmer.

Notes:

I think this might just be my favourite chapter so far.

Chapter 6: Discussion I

Notes:

there's no smut in this chapter, but there's certainly a lot of discussion about it

Though she'd agreed immediately upon being asked, Stella couldn't help but feel nervous at the prospect of an honest discussion about what they were doing.

Dana had suggested the idea not long after the last time, admitting concerns about the turn her actions took following Stella's embarrassment and clearly needing a more direct conversation to quell those concerns. An attempt at a joke had been made following the proposal, implying that perhaps they could do with a talk that didn't end in sex, and Stella had let out a faintly hollow laugh in response.

So here they were, sat at either end of the living room sofa, glancing around the room as if waiting for something else to happen.

"Stel," Dana began, braving the opener for them both. "Thank you for saying yes to this. I know you must be nervous, I definitely am. But I think it'll be good for us."

"I think you're right," she hesitantly replied.

Sighing in what Stella assumed was relief at her own engagement, Dana made eye contact and smiled before continuing.

"I've come up with a few things I want to talk about, but if there's anything you want to add then just tell me. So far I've got: our general boundaries and limits, because it seems like things are getting more intense and I want to be clear on what we're comfortable with; then ideas for aftercare, I know physical contact's a big part of that for you but I want to know if there's anything else we could be doing as well; and I also thought now could be a good time to talk about scene ideas that we might want to try."

The preparation evident in her words was comforting, it was apparent that much thought had been put into this, but Stella couldn't shake the feeling of exposure that came with such brutal honesty. A muttered request or impromptu idea in the heat of the moment was one thing, having to openly admit to those parts of her that she herself was still unsure of was another thing entirely.

"Okay."

"Is there?" Dana asked. "Anything you want to add, I mean."

"Not that I can think of. You've been thorough as always, Dr Scully." Stella tried for a smile as the words left her lips.

Halfheartedly rolling her eyes, Dana continued, "In that case, why don't we start with boundaries? I won't do anything you haven't agreed to, of course, but it would be good to know if there's anything specific you definitely don't want to do."

The earlier comment about their dynamic growing more intense was beginning to resonate with her as she thought through the possibilities, thinking up scenario after scenario and surprising herself with quite how narrow her own limits felt. They weren't necessarily all things she would bring up today, some definitely straddled the line of 'too much' - if not for herself then for where she assumed Dana's limits might lie, but she catalogued the ideas for later. One thing did stick out though, something really rather mundane in comparison to the otherwise lurid images running through her mind.

"I don't want to be blindfolded."

"Sure, no blindfolds," Dana spoke, half to Stella and half to herself as she picked up her notebook from the coffee table and jotted the words down.

She'd known it was coming, but her girlfriend's blind acceptance of that limit still touched her. Moving from her end of the sofa, she waited until Dana had finished writing and set the notebook on her thigh before leaning into her side, bridging the physical gap that had been made and hoping to do the same with her emotions. This conversation wasn't so much a divide between them to be overcome as it was a step in the same direction - together. Perhaps a physical demonstration of that fact would do her nerves some good.

"Is there anything you don't want to do?" she tipped her head up to ask.

Dana looked down at her momentarily before turning her head away to glance around the room, thinking quietly whilst she wrapped her arm around Stella's shoulders.

"I don't want to feel like I'm being cruel. I know that's vague, but honestly, my favourite part of everything we've tried so far is seeing how happy I can make you. I like knowing that you've chosen to give me control, and I don't want to feel like I'm abusing it."

"Okay," she leant in to kiss Dana's cheek, "how might that come about? I'm happy for it to be a limit, you deserve just as much say in all of this as I do, but is there a specific line you don't want to cross? Or is it more of a general feeling?"

Dana squeezed her shoulder, pulling her ever so slightly closer. "There's nothing specific that I can think of. I guess I just want to be aware of it."

"Mmm," she hummed. "We can do that."

"There's something I want to ask you about though. I probably should've asked before I did it, but how did you feel about me keeping up the dynamic when I told you to run a bath? It looked like it helped but I want to be sure."

That was something Stella had spent a fair amount of time pondering herself. A calm had overtaken her, a very different sort of calm from that which she felt in other - more heightened - moments, but a calm nonetheless. Embarrassment had begun to seep back in only to be halted by Dana's words, giving her permission to relinquish such decisions as what she should and shouldn't feel shame for because they didn't matter. Little had mattered, besides listening to her girlfriend.

"I liked it. Listening to you meant I wasn't listening to myself, and you'd made it clear that you didn't think I should feel embarrassed. Perhaps that's something to discuss for aftercare, I think that gradual shift back to normal with the bath really helped."

"I'm glad to hear it." Dana turned to press a kiss to her temple.

"What's next on the agenda?"

Stella felt the shuddered vibrations of her laughter. "There is no agenda, I'm not that organized."

Rather than say anything, she waited. She knew Dana too well to make any sort of argument when the woman herself would do just that given enough time.

"Fine," the redhead conceded, "fine. The next thing on the list is a safe word. We haven't really needed one yet but I'd rather have it and not use it than find either of us in a position where we want one but don't have one."

"That's fair."

Looking around the room for inspiration, Stella tried to come up with a word. It had to be something they'd find easy to remember, but also not something that would naturally come up otherwise.

"Flower?" she suggested, lifting the arm not trapped by Dana's side to gesture towards the muted floral painting above the mantelpiece.

"Works for me," her girlfriend muttered, adding the word to her notes.

It was all going more smoothly than she'd anticipated, although - on second thought - she had to wonder how much of her anticipation was based in fear as opposed to reality. Her own struggle with acclimating to the wants and desires that until now had gone unnoticed meant nothing as to how Dana would treat her for sharing them. She reminded herself that not once had she been given good reason to doubt how her girlfriend would treat her about anything - novel or familiar.

Having finished writing, she watched as Dana scanned the list at the top of her page, ticking off the items covered already before moving on. "There are probably other things we won't want to try, but we can talk about them if they come up, and I think knowing that we've got a safe word will help me to feel more confident."

"I like it when you're confident," she tipped her head to slot beneath Dana's chin, purring her words and punctuating them with another kiss.

"Stop that. This conversation isn't meant to end in sex, remember?"

The tone of the redhead's voice gave her away, failing to match up to the harsh demand it was used for and ending on a slightly deeper note that Stella knew all too well.

"Yes, sir," she teased.

Abruptly, Dana pulled away from her, ignoring her attempts at grumbling and pouting in order to manhandle her back to the other end of the sofa.

"Stay," she requested in a firmer tone, setting a hand on either of Stella's shoulders to push her back against the sofa's arm before moving again.

When she settled in her earlier position, leaving the gap between them that Stella still very much wanted to flagrantly ignore, she returned to her list. "Aftercare. I had an idea about this, and it fits with what you were saying about a gradual shift, but tell me if you don't like it. Would it help if you had certain decisions to make after a scene? Nothing big, maybe things like whether you want a bath or a shower, whether you want me to join you, what you want for dinner that evening, simple stuff. And I can take care of everything else, that way you get some control back, but slowly."

Unable to stop herself, Stella turned to face her and lifted both legs to lay them across the gap, barely resting on Dana's thigh. The move wasn't challenged by anything more than a raised eyebrow and she was glad to see her small request for contact granted.

"I like that idea," she paused, willing herself to finish the train of thought aloud. "But would you- I mean, could you keep, uh, calling me, you know..."

"Honey?"

She let her gaze fall down to her legs before nodding. It was fine when Dana said it, but she couldn't yet bring herself to say it. She felt almost childish for ever liking the pet name in the first place.

"Can you say it? For me?"

Looking up, she took in her girlfriend's hopeful expression and contrasted it with her own mild panic. Why was it so hard? She'd called herself a good girl, for fuck's sake, on the floor in Dana's office of all places. But for some reason, this was so much harder.

"Honey," she gulped.

As much as she might've tried earlier, she was glad when Dana didn't reply with any sort of stock praise, she didn't actually want this conversation to get derailed now that she was already in the midst of it. The only thing worse than keeping going was the thought of having to do it over a second time if they stopped, and that seemed all the more likely a possibility if Dana praised her. But instead, her reward was a light calf massage to which she groaned in appreciation.

"The other thing," Dana let go of one leg to massage the other, "was physical contact. I think it's safe to say that you like me touching you."

Her eyes had fallen closed as she relaxed into the feeling of Dana's hands on her skin, carefully working the muscles with a doctor's precision, but she opened them to squint at her. "You think?"

The redhead laughed, "Okay, I know. Is that better? But is there anything I could be doing more of? Or less of?"

"Mmm," she hummed, closing her eyes again and sinking down against the sofa's arm. "I don't think so. But I'm more comfortable asking you to stop than start. So perhaps if we assume that I want physical contact, and then I can always say no at the time if I change my mind?"

"Sure."

Dana's hands lifted from her leg, probably reaching for her notebook, and Stella listened patiently to the telltale sound of a pen scratching across paper before the massage resumed.

"What about you?" she asked.

"What about me?"

"Aftercare. Dana, it's not just about what I need. Is there anything you need?"

"I haven't really thought about that."

A combination of closing her eyes and moving the subject of the conversation away from herself had put Stella more at ease, relaxing her enough to be able to notice the barely there tensing of Dana's leg beneath her own.

"We don't have to talk about it now if you weren't expecting it, but this isn't all about me. I'd like to know if there's anything I can be doing for you as well."

"Talk to me?"

"Hmm?" she questioned.

They were talking, or so she thought. So she didn't quite know what her girlfriend was getting at.

"Afterwards," Dana's voice was shakier and less confident than it had been, apparently sharing in some of the nerves that Stella could feel lessening in herself. "After a scene, when you feel able to, it doesn't have to be straight away. But I think knowing how you feel and whether you've enjoyed it will help me relax. Maybe I can talk to you about how I feel then too."

"Absolutely, darling." She smiled in the hope that Dana would see it. "Anything else you can think of?"

"Will you let me take care of you a bit, sometimes? I don't want to be overbearing, and I wouldn't force you to do anything - of course - but I know what you meant about that gradual shift. I feel it too, and I think it's been easier for me when I've had a chance to still be in charge, but in a softer way, before we get back to normal."

Though her previous smile hadn't been fake, it had been deliberate, a way of reassuring Dana with actions when she wasn't sure how to do so with words. But this time it wasn't, this time it was as real as anything. Trust the love of her life to take comfort in the exact part of these new experiences that she'd most enjoyed. That's not to say she didn't like the rest of it, there was just little else that could compare to the calm, loving way that she was treated in those softer periods of aftercare. More than that, it was the time in which Stella most allowed herself to give in to that love, to feel it in her least guarded moments and to properly take in how Dana felt about her.

"Well if you don't add it to your list then add it to mine."

She heard another scribble of pen on paper, but it was longer this time - more considered. Wondering how exactly Dana had written the idea down, she decided against opening her eyes to look. Though it hadn't been the point, she'd made this discussion an exercise in trust, and there was no one she trusted to a greater degree. To be fair, the whole thing could be considered an exercise in trust. Her every admission proved her trust, and Dana's every acceptance did just the same. This was simply her turn to accept.

"Is there anything else you wanted to say about aftercare, Stel? It's not like we can never talk about it again after today, obviously, but let me know if I've missed something."

"No, you?"

"I can't think of anything. Okay, last thing."

Stella opened her eyes, remembering the part of this conversation she'd been most nervous for. Talking about being praised had felt hard enough, and she hadn't even begun that conversation, nor had she done much in the way of engaging beyond simple agreement. But she wanted this, and Dana wanted this. Surely she couldn't have a better reason than that to do anything?

"It's been working so far to come up things one by one," Dana stopped until she met her eyes, checking she was okay. "But unless I'm completely stupid and can't read you at all, I think we might be getting to a point where we need to do more planning."

"That's true," Stella conceded, "you're not completely stupid."

She tried to keep a straight face, but Dana's glare quickly wore her down to laughter.

"Fine. You're not at all stupid, darling. Is that better? You know it's true regardless, because I doubt we would ever have started dating if you were."

"Oh, so the course of my life changed forever, all because you thought I was slightly intelligent?"

"No," she huffed, earning a similar laugh from Dana to that which she'd just shared herself. "That was the bare minimum as far as my standards went, you happened to exceed them all."

"I exceed them, do I?" the redhead chuckled. "You make it sound like loving me is some kind of performance review."

It was hard to keep up her vague frustration whilst Dana was laughing and egging her on, so instead she decided to join in. Two could play at that game.

"Mmhmm, it is indeed. Work ethic? You're diligent and efficient, no room for improvement there. Punctual? Perhaps not, you're rarely awake before me, but you're too cute when you wake up for that to be an issue. What else? Oh, communication? You're more effective than I am so I can hardly complain. And teamwork? I'd say we make a rather good team. I can give you a target as well, if you really want."

The massage she'd almost forgotten about was replaced by Dana's hand gently stroking up and down the inside of her calf. On each stroke, the caress would barely hit her knee before retreating again, accompanied by a dark look in the redhead's eyes. It was clear who was winning their game of teasing, but Stella would've felt like more of a loser in practically any other situation.

"Go on then."

"Uhh." Now she had to actually come up with something, a hard feat whilst she was blinkered by love and even more distracted by the somehow soft yet also firm touch of her girlfriend's hand. "Your target is to trust yourself more, to trust your own decisions."

Dana's expression turned confused then and she felt a need to explain herself. Perhaps it wasn't the time to get sappy, Stella certainly didn't want her to think this was all some ruse to draw their prior conversation to a close, but honesty had always been the best policy when it came to her. This wasn't the moment to stray from that.

"Truthfully, the first thing I thought about you... Well, the second thing I thought about you, after just barely managing to get over how attractive you are, was how nice it felt to be respected. You didn't respect me because I was a superior and you didn't only respect me because you wanted to sleep with me - though I'm glad you wanted that too. It felt like, from the outside looking in, respecting me was your natural conclusion. And for the first time, I felt a responsibility to earn it."

The confusion on her face refused to waver, but her hold on the blonde's leg remained firm, and that gave Stella the confidence to continue.

"I'd like to think that I've earned it, though I'm not sure that will ever stop being a work in progress. But it's possible I haven't been clear enough in how mutual the feeling is. I think you know that I trust you, but I also respect you and your opinions. So if those feelings are as mutual as I believe them to be, then it stands to reason that you should trust yourself as much as I do."

Saying nothing all the while, Dana leant over, breaching the self-made gap to press her weight onto Stella's chest and kiss her soundly.

"I love you," she whispered as she came up for air, watching her in a way that Stella could only describe as reverent. "And it works the other way round, you know?"

Stella nodded in recognition of her words, but she didn't feel quite up to the task of replying. She'd realised it was coming as soon as she made the comment. Of course Dana would ask the same of her, it felt ridiculous to ever not have been expecting it. But perhaps it was right to happen this way, perhaps some small part of her own subconscious was rubbing its neuron-cum-hands together with glee at having been able to trap her in this predicament. It would be wrong to challenge Dana whilst not committing to the same task herself.

"I love you too," she finally replied, saying a lot more than those four simple words and knowing that Dana would easily read between the lines. When it came to her feelings, her girlfriend was often more literate than she was.

"Moving on?" Dana asked.

The reprieve was clearly deliberate and she smiled, giving in to the change of topic. Though she knew what was coming next, the idea of sharing a few of her innermost desires felt nearly trivial in comparison to what she'd just shared.

Dana moved along the sofa, taking up the other end, and she lifted her legs from where they'd been pushed out of the way to end up back on her girlfriend's thigh. Whether or not she noticed, Dana didn't comment on her shuffling further down at her end to get that little bit closer.

"Is there anything new you want to try?"

Stella watched her quietly with the beginnings of a frown forming. Her pen was poised in midair, ready to take down notes, and her gaze flicked between the page and the blonde's face.

"What is it?"

"You're acting like you don't get a say in this either," Stella huffed.

"I don't want you to feel pressured into something just because I ask for it."

Rolling her eyes, Stella heaved a dramatic sigh. "If I do recall, kneeling in uniform wasn't my idea. Nor was being half undressed to then get fucked in said uniform." Her tone warmed then, making apparent to her girlfriend that this was further permission instead of a criticism. "I liked it though, and I doubt you're short on good ideas, darling."

Dana smiled at the admission and ripped a sheet from her notebook before handing it and another pen across to Stella.

"Okay, I'll do it too. And don't think I'm going to let you just give me a list. I want you to say them, but it might be easier if you write them down first."

Had she not made the concession of writing them down first, Stella might've felt inclined to protest the notion of saying anything aloud. But the fact was that she'd thought it through, as she thought through everything, and that made her demand all the harder to protest.

"How many?" Stella asked. She didn't want to include too many and risk putting Dana off with her eagerness, but neither did she want to seem unenthusiastic when it was so very far from the truth.

"Five?"

Initially, she wanted to question the number. It was by no means a bad suggestion but her immediate reaction was to paint herself as less excited. However, she reminded herself, Dana knew her. Dana knew how she looked when she wanted something and Dana knew that her mind was the sort to start ticking with ideas at the first prospect of change. There was no point lying now, it would serve neither of them.

Her agreement came in the form of putting pen to paper, and she watched out of the corner of her eye as the redhead did the same.

Number one on her list arrived without hesitation, though that was soon to follow, furthering with each reread of the word and tempting her to cross it out entirely. But crossing it out wouldn't stop Dana from understanding it, and scribbling over it would feel akin to a lie by omission. Plus, that reasoning was a mere smokescreen, failing to hide that her hesitations came from just how badly she wanted it. Perhaps she would read them out from last to first, perhaps whatever else she might add would give her the courage to say this first one alongside them.

Number two would've felt riskier had it not followed number one. In comparison, it felt almost tame. But it wasn't really, and neither was number three. That was the one she was most unsure of in a practical sense. But who better to ask than a doctor? Number four moved her onto safer ground, toying with the pushing of her own boundaries without going very far. But somehow number five seemed the most sordid, made worse - in part - by her plan to admit it first.

Dana finished not long after her and they looked at one another for a moment, holding their respective sheets of paper and sharing a nervous sense of excitement that Stella knew with absolute certainty was being felt by them both.

"Why don't we take turns? You go first," Dana told her, "please."

"Well how can I say no to that?" Her attempt at laughter died off as she looked down her list, focusing in on the last addition and building the nerve to say it. Jumping in at the deep end felt a lot scarier to her in this metaphorical sense than it ever had in real life. "I want you to... Well, I wrote 'dirty talk' but that doesn't really cover it. What I mean is... I want to try being, uh, degraded. Sort of, nothing too extreme. Considering how praise affects me, I'm curious to see if it has a similar effect."

She glanced up to find Dana watching her, smiling faintly, and she took a relieved breath.

"I want to talk about it first, mainly so I know what sort of things you want me to say, but I'm happy to try it."

"Okay," she nodded. "Your turn."

"First, remember that you can say no, even if you've already said yes but change your mind." Dana's reassurances were comforting, but Stella trusted her more than enough to be confident in them already. "Your made up performance review gave me my first idea. You said I'm better at communicating than you are, but maybe that's something we can practice."

Stella couldn't work out if the cryptic nature of the suggestion was inherent or if it instead came from her own confusion. Either way, Dana must've noticed her perplexed frown because she soon provided an explanation.

"If you're up for it, then I want you to try telling me every time you get aroused. Not every day, just for one, and you wouldn't need to say anything special. It could even be a text if you want, but you could send more as well. It's really up to you, I just thought it might be a good way for you to get more comfortable opening up to me like this."

"Yes," she replied almost without thinking.

"Really?"

"Yes."

Her willingness wasn't only a surprise to Dana, but the more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. The logic behind it made sense to her and the combination of intimacy and distance felt easier to contend with than solely tackling the former. Backed by her girlfriend's clear desire to act in her best interests, the next item on her list came out a lot easier.

"This one isn't completely new to me, but it's been years and I've never done it with someone who cared much about my enjoyment of it. So, if you're alright with it, I'd like to try anal."

"You would?" was Dana's immediate - blurted - response.

"Well," she hesitated.

"No, sorry, that was the wrong thing to say. I'm just surprised. It's a yes from me."

She quickly began to regret everything she'd said, not because she took Dana's words to be a 'no' but because she assumed this was exactly what she'd feared, her girlfriend only agreeing to something because she wanted it. "You don't have to, Dana."

The redhead leant over and took her hand, toying with it for a moment in order to interlock their fingers, and Stella watched because it meant not having to look at her face.

"I'm sorry. It really was a surprise. I'm not sure why but I guess I didn't expect that to be on your list. I promise that I don't feel forced into saying yes, and I'm still saying yes."

"Okay," she responded quietly, her eyes never leaving their hands and her mind feeling no more reassured than it had at Dana's initial reaction.

"Stel, hey, look at me. Please look at me."

When she made no attempt to listen, Dana let go to take the paper from her other hand and folded it carefully, never once looking at what Stella had written. Then she turned, gently pushed Stella's legs off the sofa, and lay down so that her head rested in the blonde's lap. She was much harder to ignore there.

"Stella," her voice grew stern until their eyes met, at which point it softened again. "Yes. Do you hear me? I'm saying yes, and I should've said it to begin with. And if I wanted to say no, then I'd still say no, but I don't. Okay? You were so quick to tell me how I shouldn't feel like I'm putting you under any pressure, well I feel the same way about you. I feel pretty confident in saying you'd still love me even if I didn't want to fuck your ass."

Breaking at Dana's last few words, she let out a faint giggle, the sort of sound one makes when feeling sensitive but relieved. "I would definitely still love you, even then."

"Even when, Stel?" The redhead was clearly pleased with herself at managing to get Stella laughing, wearing a grin that somehow still looked bright within the shadow of blonde curls falling around her face.

"Even if you didn't want to fuck my arse."

"So British."

"No," Stella tapped the tip of her nose. "You're so American."

Dana grabbed her wrist as Stella tried to move away. Holding her with a secure but careful grip, she turned her hand over to kiss her palm. "My turn."

Stella took her own list back and rested her elbow on the sofa's arm, holding the piece of paper up and out of Dana's eyeline. Meanwhile, the redhead fished for her notebook, feeling for where it had ended up between her body and the back of the sofa.

"Got it." She held the book in front of her face, blocking her from view, and read out the next idea. "How do you feel about edging?"

Stella laughed as she set the notebook down on her chest, "I don't think that one need's an explanation. But I'm more than willing to try it."

Her memory of the inspiration for such an idea was fresh and vivid, thanks mostly to the fact that it had only been a few days ago. Bored after a monotonous day at work, Stella had spent the better part of the evening teasing her girlfriend over and over again, bringing her right to the edge of an orgasm only to relentlessly pull her back again. Mentally replaying the moment of Dana screaming her name when she'd finally let her come had almost made the next day's case review exciting.

"It's fun," Dana laughed along with her. "Actually, I don't know if fun's the right word. But I think you'll like it in the end. Your turn."

Glancing across to her list, Stella paused on the next entry and tried to work out how best to bring it up.

"You probably know more about whether my next entry is safe, or can be safe, but I wanted to include it. So, Dana, how safe is choking exactly?"

Stella had to give her credit then, her eyebrows raised but otherwise Dana bore no signs of surprise whatsoever.

"I'll give that one a maybe until I've done some research. It's very possible that it could be done safely, and I don't think I've got the physical strength to suffocate you, but I'd prefer to get more information before I give you a life-threatening injury instead of afterwards."

"How incredibly romantic," she cooed, earning another laugh and a swat of Dana's notebook against her arm. "Your turn."

"It's not romance," Dana retaliated, "I'm saving ICU nurses across London from having to look after you."

Furrowing her brow slightly as if in deep thought, Stella replied, "That's a strange thing to include on your list."

"That's not what I meant."

"Do you have a thing for nurses, Dr Scully?" she teased. "Should I be jealous?"

"Shut up, Stel."

"Gladly. It's still your turn."

Dana kept up the effort of looking annoyed with her for all of ten seconds, but whatever she read next swiftly got rid of any lingering faux-irritation. "Remember when you came to my office? I made a comment about your bra, and ever since then I've been curious about what you'd look like in a harness."

Stella remembered not only the suggestion but also how she'd felt upon hearing it. The same images cropped back up, visions of reddened flesh where the leather caught her skin and the look of her girlfriend's hands tightly gripping various straps to pull her any which way Dana wanted.

"I'm curious too."

"That one was easy." Dana's mock relief was melodramatic at best. "Would you mind me picking it out? I know you don't really like surprises but it won't really be a surprise either way. You'll still know what it is."

"I like that idea," she agreed, partly because Dana seemingly wanted to pick it out, but partly for herself too. Her own possessive streak ran deep and about a mile wide, but she was starting to like the idea of being possessed nearly as much as she liked being the possessor.

Dana reached a hand up towards her face and carefully tucked a few locks of blonde hair behind her ear. "I'm looking forward to it already. Your turn."

She didn't have to check her list again, she knew exactly what it would say, but she did so anyway. It gave her an excuse not to respond straight away and that was more than needed given what she was about to ask for. In one sense, this was her mildest request so far. But the deeper meaning behind it was the most submissive thing she'd planned to bring up yet.

"This is something we'd have to talk about first, and we'd definitely need to set some ground rules, only if you wanted to do it - of course." She stopped to let her girlfriend's reassuring smile boost her confidence for a second, while at the same time reminding herself that she wouldn't be met with judgement. "Dana, have you heard of such a thing as a 'free use' arrangement?"

Her question was answered by another raise of the redhead's eyebrows, moving further this time, but what accompanied the surprise was an unexpectedly eager nod.

"That's something you want to try?" Dana sounded even more excited than she felt internally.

"If you'd like to."

"I would," Dana stroked her hair back again before dropping to cup her jaw, pulling her down for a brief kiss. "I definitely would."

"Really?"

The response had come as a complete shock to Stella but she was more than grateful for the enthusiasm. Her list only had one thing left on it, the first thing she'd written and the last thing she wanted to say, but Dana's attitude so far was reassuring.

"Really." Dana held her face to keep her close and she ignored the slight pain in her neck caused by the position, happily taking that ache over being further away. "Maybe I like bossing you around, that would just be taking it a step further."

"And maybe I like you bossing me around. Your turn."

"This one I think you might say no to," Dana gave her a pointed look, reminding her that it would be alright if she did as predicted. "But I think you're way too hot to risk not including it in case you do say yes."

"That's one way to get on my good side," Stella teased.

She couldn't deny a fair degree of curiosity as to what exactly Dana thought she might take such issue with, but the lighthearted tone of her words led Stella to assume that it couldn't be all that extreme.

"I want you to strip for me, like a striptease. But I'd understa-"

"Yes."

There were many things she still wasn't comfortable with, and there were many times throughout her life in which she never would've felt comfortable with that request. But here and now, with Dana, was strangely the most comfortable she'd ever felt. She was exposed, terribly so, straight down to her core. But they both were, she wasn't laying herself bare any more than her girlfriend was. It was that shared experience that made her so easily say yes. With Dana being so open and willing for her, she felt much more able to do the same.

"Yes?" Dana sounded as if she couldn't quite believe it.

"Yes." Stella grinned. "I know why you thought I might say no, and I probably would've if you asked me at the start of our relationship. Now though, I trust you enough to see me like that. Even so, I can imagine I'll be nervous when I actually get round to doing it, but I definitely want to try."

"It's your turn again."

All that was left for Stella to say was the last thing on her list, or the first, depending on how she looked at it. One simple word, six letters, yet she hardly felt able to say it. This felt like the make or break. But Dana hadn't run for the hills yet, and Stella's other requests hadn't exactly all been pedestrian, so she could hope for a similar reaction this time around. She had to hope, it's not as though there was much else for her to do.

"I don't have any experience with this before," she began, "on either side of the exchange. But I've been doing some reading about it and I think it might help me to relax and give up control more easily."

Her girlfriend's hand stayed on her cheek, stroking her there softly, and she closed her eyes so that all she could feel was the redhead's touch.

"If you want to," she hesitated again before steeling herself to commit. "I think I like the idea of being collared."

Silence was the response, the dreaded and frankly terrifying response. But wait, it wasn't quite silence. Though Dana didn't say anything, Stella could hear the sound of rustling paper and recalled her notebook making the same noise when she'd picked it up last.

"Open your eyes, Stel."

She opened her eyes immediately, unable to stop herself from obeying the deeper tone her girlfriend had taken. What met her view was Dana's notebook, as she'd expected, but it was flipped over to reveal the list she'd made. At the top was the first thing Dana had already mentioned, followed by another, then another, and finally one more - all of which she'd heard and agreed to. But what followed them was the best surprise to come of this whole journey so far.

Beneath her girlfriend's initial ideas sat the same word she'd put down first on her own list, the same six letters she'd been so nervous to bring up.

Dana wanted to collar her, and she desperately wanted that too.

Notes:

this was originally meant to be 2-3k words but, uh, now it isn't - mainly because I can't stick to my own plans and kept taking their conversation on little detours. hopefully it reads cohesively! i've tried to avoid walls of dialogue but at times it felt unavoidable given that this is chapter is basically just a conversation.

a combination of PMS and procrastination meant most of this was written today so if there are any glaring spelling/grammar mistakes, I'll probably have them fixed by the time I end up rereading this before posting the next chapter sksksk

Chapter 7: Communication

Notes:

and now back to our regularly scheduled programming, smut.

Dana was confused when her phone vibrated, distracting her from the report she'd been working on, and that confusion only grew when she pulled it out of her pocket. During work hours, she tended to keep her phone on 'Do Not Disturb', and there weren't many people for whom she made exceptions.

Her mom was on the allowed list but it was barely nine in the morning in London, meaning Maggie wasn't due to get up for a few hours yet. A few colleagues also made the cut, however their bosses were of the more paranoid type - in a garden-variety sense as opposed to aliens and shadow governments. That meant they were to use their pagers for anything work-related and their phones only in emergencies. Mulder's voice had rattled around in her head upon first hearing the rule, reminding her of how easy the radio messaging system was to hack, but she'd decided not to share that with her superior on her very first day. Being the lone American in a drab building full of British lab geeks was attention enough without also questioning the place's security.

That left the person who contacted her most often, but rarely did she do so whilst they were both at work.

Stella's name popped up on the screen and Dana typed in her pin only to find a blank message. Assuming it must've been accidental, she shook her head and slipped her phone back into her pocket, flicking her eyes to the screen in front of her.

A minute or so later, her phone vibrated again. This time she drew it out faster, unable to stop the gnaw of growing concerns and eager for some sort of resolution. Why was Stella texting her?

How does today sound for your 'communication practice'?

Concern quickly gave way to excitement as Stella's behaviour began to make sense. She hadn't given her own idea much thought since they spoke about it, some of her girlfriend's requests had proven more than a little distracting, but she was all too focused on it now.

Sounds good, honey.

She deleted the last word before replying. Stella had set a tone that implied nothing of what they were doing and though Dana wasn't sure how deliberate that was, she didn't want to put her off by not going along with it.

The rest of the morning was spent much like those first few minutes on repeat. She would be drawn into her work, just beginning to forget what else was going on, before being pulled back by another buzz in her pocket. Reminder after reminder of her girlfriend's arousal clouded her mind and by her lunch break she could hardly think about anything else. Although she couldn't deny that many of her thoughts centred around just what she planned to do to Stella once they were both home, there were other thoughts too. She thought about her first impressions of a woman whom never in a million years would she have dreamed of doing something like this.

She thought about the woman whom she knew to have far too many good reasons not to trust anyone, and yet made efforts to trust her in spite of them all.

Her midday walk to the café downstairs was disrupted by a flurry of texts. She tried not to look impatient whilst she stood there, waiting for her coffee, but the distinct urge to run back up to her office and daydream about her girlfriend in peace made patience a fleeting virtue. When Dana had first proposed the idea, she'd anticipated Stella communicating a few times at most. What she certainly hadn't expected was the fifteen or so messages that had been sent so far.

It was confirmation in a way, confirmation of something that Stella had already told her, but further confirmation nonetheless. She was wanted - desperately even - and in a manner that was still novel to them both.

As soon as the lock clicked shut on her office door, she was pulling her phone from her pocket and scrolling through her contacts for the blonde's number. Their schedules were slightly different and she knew from experience that Stella was more often than not busy with a post-lunch meeting at this hour. Well, much to a combination of Dana's own mild annoyance and worry, rare were the times when she actually got around to eating lunch.

Regardless, this was the time at which Dana would have the highest likelihood of getting through to voicemail. Stella's secretive messages wouldn't have given anything away to a casual observer, but what she wanted to say was far riskier, and a voicemail was less likely to be accidentally witnessed by a third party. Her girlfriend's crisp - if vaguely monotone - words were played once the phone stopped ringing and she smiled to herself, remembering Stella's frustration at managing to accidentally delete her own voicemail message and subsequent irritation at having to re-record it.

"I've barely done any work today. I keep thinking about everything I'm going to do to you at home later. You're being such a good girl, I want you to think of a reward - something you really want. And if you keep being good then I'll give it to you."

The request was made in the confidence that she'd get home before Stella, as she usually did, which would give her time to research. She didn't claim to have any sort of psychic abilities. But, knowing her girlfriend, one reward seemed more likely to be asked for than any other. Although Stella would certainly respect her condition of doing research beforehand and never pressure her into anything, Dana couldn't deny to herself that she wanted to do it too. Perhaps she'd bring it up even if Stella asked for something else - two rewards at once couldn't hurt.

Having grown used to the consistent arrival of messages, or as used to these constant reminders of Stella's arousal as she could get, Dana didn't give any particular thought to the one that came through whilst she was in a meeting of her own. In fact, she nearly didn't check it when she got back to her office afterwards. Of course it would be the same as all the others. Why wouldn't it be?

But the notification wasn't blank this time. The two words didn't reveal much, yet Dana felt her heart rate jump as she read them. Sitting down at her desk, her fingers skimmed the screen, needing more than simply Picture Message.

Dana's surprise at the gesture grew for a moment before calming slightly as it loaded, replaced by a knowing sense of affection at how incredibly 'Stella' the photo was. Nothing of her identity was given away, she herself was barely the focus, but the intent was direct and understood. Yellowing office lighting warmed her calves, stopping at her ankle where the shadow cut by her desk cast the heels Dana assumed her to be wearing into darkness. The photo gave little else away. It could only be confirmed as her by someone who knew both what the carpet in her office looked like as well as which panties she'd slipped on that morning.

The lace fabric had been pulled down her legs, resting at mid-calf, and the overdue to be replaced lighting served her well. A more updated array of diffused fluorescents would've stopped the damp fabric from catching and holding attention otherwise. The translucent sheen of her arousal was clear to see and Dana clenched her own legs together in an unconscious physical reaction.

Two rewards sounded like hardly anything now. Stella could have three, four, or frankly as many as she wanted. The willingness with which she was going along with Dana's suggestion was exciting and heartwarming in equal measure, and appreciation for that willing nature would not go unmentioned nor unproven.

 

 

After getting home and changing out of her workwear, Dana grabbed her laptop and headed to the living room where she sat down on the sofa, curling her legs beneath her whilst she waited for it to power up. Forensic pathology had given her a rather distasteful first opinion of the act, but as she hummed absentmindedly and lifted a hand curiously to her own throat, a more favourable perspective began to take shape. When done safely, she was starting to see why some people might enjoy being choked.

A growing collection of articles and medical papers built her confidence and she bookmarked them fastidiously, ambiguously titling the folder 'Research' and chuckling to herself at the notion anyone would ever care to look. Anatomy lessons from her early days in medical school flashed before her eyes and she was glad to find that little had been forgotten. A brief refresh was all she needed.

The sound of the front door opening made her snap her laptop shut. She dropped it haphazardly on the coffee table and got up, walking out into the hall and nearly jogging by the time she got to the open door. The pent up energy she'd worked hard to keep a lid on all day could no longer be ignored.

Stella was just about to close the front door when Dana reached her and slammed it shut, pushing her up against the wood whilst running both hands down the sides of her body. But the warmth of her wasn't enough and soon she was stepping away to turn her around, driving her back into the adjacent wall and kissing her for all she was worth. Her lips were plush and soft, parting easily around Dana's tongue, and her quiet moan at the abrupt greeting was only further reason to keep going.

"So good for me." Dana came up for air, leaning down to pant against the exposed edge of her collarbone and holding her waist with one hand in order to unbutton her shirt with the other. "So fucking good."

The silk was quickly ripped from the confines of her girlfriend's skirt and she heard the clatter of a few buttons hitting the hardwood floor. At any other moment, she would've apologised. But not here. Not now.

"Yes." Stella's chest was already heaving with anticipatory breaths.

As she pulled her into another kiss, Dana felt the uncoordinated movements of her legs whilst Stella kicked her heels off and shoved them aside. In response, she used the rebalancing of their respective heights and dragged her skirt up to her hips, shoving a thigh between hers for her to grind against and delighting in the immediate rolling of her hips for more contact.

Breaking from her lips for a second time, she asked, "Did you think about your reward? What do you want?"

Stella tipped her head back against the wall and searched Dana's face before replying, still needing that assurance that she wouldn't be judged but taking far less time to be sure of it than she used to.

"Have you-" Her cheeks flushed and she dropped her gaze down until Dana lifted her chin and forced their eyes to meet again. "Have you done that research yet?"

"What research?" Dana teased, barely able to keep the smile from her lips and only managing to deceive Stella for all of a few seconds before getting an eye roll in return. "Yes, I've been reading up on it since I got home. It didn't feel fair to give you a choice without having all the options open."

"And? Is it still a 'maybe' or..."

"Mmm," she leant in for another brief kiss and kept her hand steady on the blonde's chin, watching her intently as she pulled away. "You haven't answered my question. What do you want, honey?"

The muscles in her jaw tensed beneath Dana's hand and her nostrils flared slightly in frustration, but Stella's irritated display only made her chuckle.

"I- I want you to choke me."

"Thank you for being honest." She let go of her jaw and came as close as she could, pressing herself up against Stella and relieving her of eye contact by leaning round to whisper in her ear, all whilst continuing to grind against her clothed sex. "I think good girls should get what they want, and do you know what you are?"

She swiped her tongue up the side of Stella's throat and heard a whimpered response. "Your good girl."

"That's right, honey."

Keeping her thigh firmly between Stella's legs, she leant back to give herself enough room and paused to smile at her girlfriend before moving on. Dana brought her right hand up to rest against Stella's throat and it made her sharp intake of breath even more noticeable.

"Hold onto me. You should still be able to talk but you can tap me if that feels easier, I'll stop either way."

Stella's arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her closer again, and another writhing thrust against her thigh made Dana have to work hard to focus on the task at hand - or rather, under hand.

"I'm going to apply pressure here and here," she gently pressed the pads of her thumb and middle finger against either side of Stella's throat, using the placement as an excuse to stroke her forefinger soothingly across her jaw at the same time. "It shouldn't stop you from breathing, but it will limit blood flow through your carotid arteries. That means I'll avoid your trachea, which would be a lot riskier to apply pressure to, but the limited blood flow will still cause oxygen deprivation. The internal carotid arteries are the ones supplying blood to your brain, but if I press right here," she paused again and watched her own hand carefully, "then the pressure is applied just before the arteries split off into internal and external."

The explanation had provided a momentary distraction, but she needed to check she wasn't accidentally applying pressure already when she caught the way Stella was looking at her. The blonde's mouth was open, letting out warm puffs of air against Dana's face, and her eyes were dark, hazy with arousal in a way Dana didn't normally see from her until after at least one orgasm.

"Yes, Dr Scully," Stella whispered in a dangerously erotic tone, sounding the words out slowly.

"We can play doctor some other time."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Stop talking, honey." Dana's patience had been wearing thin by midday, it was practically non-existent now.

"Make me."

Grinning at the true to form challenge, even though it wasn't quite what she planned to do, she took one final appraising look at Stella's face and made sure that they were both completely on board. She then checked her fingers were still in the right places and applied the gentlest pressure she could manage, building on it slowly and flicking her eyes between the blonde's face and her throat to make sure she was alright. After an internal count to five, she relaxed her hand.

Stella took a shuddered breath and slumped further down against Dana's thigh. Her eyes were wider now, as if shocked by the sensations in her own body, and she didn't once look away. The eye contact was searingly intense and Dana didn't know what to make of it. All signs so far suggested that it was positive, but she wouldn't be sure until Stella told her.

"Again, please."

Compelled by the whiny and aroused undertone to her voice, Dana choked her again, feeling the heavy thud of her pulse and remaining helplessly caught up in her expression of surprise. Her brow was furrowed, her mouth was open but moving slightly with each continued rock of her hips, and her eyes wore the most captivating combination of light and shadow - somehow stormy and yet also dazzlingly bright.

"Fuck," she rasped when Dana let go.

Stella's hands were scrabbling now, clutching at her top and grabbing at her back to slip further up her thigh, dragging arousal soaked fabric against her skin.

"Can you come like this?"

When Stella's head drooped again, chin resting against the back of her hand, Dana used her other hand to run through blonde locks. She held her by her hair with a tight grip and pulled her back up, waiting impatiently for an answer to the question.

"Yes," Stella moaned at the rough hold, closing her eyes as Dana's hand hit the wall behind her head, controlling and protecting her in equal measure. "Please."

Hearing the plea, she choked her for the third time. Dana's heart was racing and her hips moved of their own accord, urged on by the wet heat slicked against her thigh. She worked hard to hold herself back, mindful that she had to be the one clear-headed enough to keep Stella safe, and her hand grasped the blonde's hair even tighter, as if that tether was the only thing strong enough to ground her.

It wasn't long before her forceful ministrations bore fruit and she carefully let go as Stella convulsed against her thigh, keeping one hand in her hair but leaving her throat alone whilst her jerky and unpredictable movements were ongoing. Another gush of arousal soaked Dana's leg and she looked down to find a small damp patch on the edge of her girlfriend's skirt where it had gotten caught between them. No definite plans had been laid for what she wanted to do after making Stella come, she'd been content to go by ear, but seeing the evidenced reaction to her seizing of control gave her a simple idea. She wanted to make Stella come again.

A whiny noise of dissatisfaction accompanied her hand leaving the blonde's hair, but it was quickly overtaken by a loud yelp when Dana grabbed her ass with both hands and hoisted her off her feet, leaving her to wrap her arms and legs around the redhead's body whilst she was pinned once more to the wall.

"I'm going to fuck you now." She left no room for hesitation, and Stella's hurried nod told her that there was none to be found in either of them.

Confident that Stella could hold herself up as long as she kept them stable, Dana widened her stance. She left one hand on Stella's ass whilst the other stroked down the back of her thigh before lifting up and over to push beneath her skirt. The soaked fabric of her panties was distracting in its cause, but Dana also noted that it didn't feel like lace under her fingers. In fact, it felt nothing like what she'd seen earlier in that photo.

"Did you change at work?"

"Uh huh," Stella leant forward to rest against her shoulder, warming her neck with each breath. "Otherwise I would've been wearing damp underwear all day. It stops feeling sexy rather quickly, darling."

At first, Dana couldn't work out what it was about the explanation that felt foreign, but soon she realised. Stella had called her sexy, among other such similar descriptions, more times than she could remember. It was as normal to her as being asked if she wanted a cup of coffee in the morning. But Stella had never used it to describe herself, not to Dana's knowledge at least, and though the phrasing wasn't entirely direct, she wanted to push the matter. She wanted to see just how far Stella would go in calling herself the exact things that she already thought of her.

"But did you feel sexy at first?"

Stella's body stiffened against her, the reaction was only slight but so much of their bodies were touching one another that it was still easy to notice. In time, with a few gentle strokes against her covered sex, she relaxed again.

"Yes," she whispered so quietly that Dana wouldn't have heard it had she not been practically talking into her ear.

"Say it, honey." She hooked Stella's panties aside and gave a cursory swipe between her lips.

"I- I felt sexy."

"Good girl." Dana rewarded the effort with one finger slowly pushing inside her, curling to stroke along her front wall and feeling the squirming of her body as she adjusted to the penetration. "Do you know why you felt sexy?"

"Dana," she grumbled halfheartedly, only serving to make her girlfriend's teasing continue.

"That's not the right answer. Try again."

Adding a second finger, Dana felt her pelvic muscles contracting and releasing, accepting the slow thrusts. She turned her head until she was met with Stella's neck where she bit down softly, making sure not to leave any visible marks in places they couldn't easily be hidden.

Then she attempted a different route. "What would my answer be?"

"That I felt sexy," Stella cautiously began as she pulled her fingers back, barely leaving them inside her. "Because I am sexy."

"Finally," Dana groaned, thrusting deeply and holding her tight to the wall. The redhead's fingers didn't retreat this time, staying deep inside her and curling to reach her spongy flesh whilst her clit found contact against her palm.

"Finally," she repeated on a sigh.

Stella's calves and heels were pressed so hard against her ass and thighs that she had to question if she would be the one left with marks after this was over, not that she cared enough to do anything about it. Each thrust was met with a roll of Stella's hips, moving slowly in the beginning but quickly picking up an eager pace. Her pussy clenched around Dana's fingers and her breathy moans rang out in the hallway.

"That's it, honey." Dana's hand slowed as Stella used her thighs to keep thrusting. "Fuck yourself on my fingers."

"Shit."

She worked herself even higher and Dana had to bend her knees slightly to counteract the frantic motions so that they would both stay upright. Stella's heaving breaths were hot against her neck and she growled under her own breath when a lewd, wet sound started to emanate from between the blonde's thighs. Her hand was sticky with arousal and she wondered how deep a clean Stella's skirt would need after they were finished.

A few moments later, she felt a telltale shiver run through Stella's thighs, amplified by how hard they were working to keep impaling herself on Dana's fingers. Before long, the tremble deepened and surged through her core. Her sex tightened, gripping almost harder than Dana had gripped her hair earlier, and whatever energy that used must've taken priority over her legs as they began to slacken.

In order to stop her from falling, Dana reacted by shunting her slightly further up the wall, using her own hips to force Stella up and thrusting deep inside her again in the process.

"Dana!" She cried out, making a noise that was some way between a scream and a squeal.

The leg that Dana had kept hold of, her hand digging into the soft underside of Stella's ass, stayed wrapped around her hip. But the other dangled loosely from her side, hanging due to the blonde's suspended state such that her foot only just brushed the floor. She felt juddered shakes travel through Stella's body and she gently slipped her fingers out of her, waiting out her trembles before trying to move again.

Slowly, she helped her back to the ground, glad to have kept both of her own arms firmly supporting her when her knees buckled. Her arms stayed wrapped around Dana's neck and she gave into the strong hold that was keeping her standing up at all. Quiet giggles emerged, muffled against red hair, and Dana pulled her away from the wall to stroke up and down her back, dragging the crumpled silk of her shirt as she went.

"I can't believe I sent you that photo."

Had Stella been acting differently, Dana might've been concerned that disbelief was a bad thing. But she kept giggling as she said it, acting with more lighthearted mischief than Dana had ever seen from her.

"Mmm," Dana hummed. "It surprised me too, honey. I would ask for a nude next time but the way you did it was so you that if anything it was even hotter."

"Next time?" Stella was still hazy, but that didn't stop her from catching on.

"Only if you want to," she reminded. "No pressure. But I don't think today's gone too badly."

When Stella nuzzled closer, she unconsciously tipped her head at the tickling sensation of lips brushing against her neck, ending up with her cheek resting on her girlfriend's temple.

"Not too badly, but there's something that would make it better."

"What's that?"

Taking a step backwards, Stella moved them both so that she was up against the wall where Dana had first pinned her. She lifted her head and made eye contact, appearing more confident in her role than before yet unable to stop herself from biting at her bottom lip, seemingly pondering whatever thoughts she was having ahead of sharing them.

"Can I ask for one more thing?"

"Two rewards?" Dana smirked and quickly made up the distance she'd created, leaning in to slowly press their lips together before pulling away. "Alright, but only because you've been so good for me today. What do you want, honey?"

Stella's hands dropped from her neck to her stomach, falling between her arms so that she was completely trapped in her embrace. They fidgeted for a moment, toying with the fabric of her top, before holding onto either side of her waist. The touch was delicate but not unsure and Dana relished it. For the first time, it felt to her like Stella's behaviour was purely submissive rather than mired in anxiety. She didn't need Dana to take the lead and ease her in, nor did she need any reassurance, she simply did as she felt - clearly free of her own hesitations for once.

"I want you to fuck my face." She even had the audacity to smile as she said it, apparently more certain than ever that the reaction would be positive.

"Do you really want that?" Dana teased, having to accept the fact that she couldn't stop herself from grinning back.

Stella nodded eagerly, that nearly vacant smile still plastered to her lips. "Yes, please."

"So polite," she purred. Leaning in again, she advanced slowly until Stella tried to meet her halfway, at which point she suddenly pushed her back as if she hadn't been about to kiss her at all. "On your knees."

There was a resounding thud as Stella hit the floor, falling with enough force for Dana to feel the vibrations in the wood beneath her feet. It was her turn to act without hesitation then. She wanted to stop for a second, just long enough to check that her girlfriend was alright, but it wasn't the time.

Looking up at her adoringly, she watched intently as the expression on Stella's face changed. Her eyes widened again, brilliant blue encircling deep black, and her obvious excitement caused her chest to rise and fall, made all the more visible by the way her shirt hung open. Bunched up fabric covered her from waist to upper thigh and Dana thought about whether the arousal smeared between her legs would catch the light as perfectly as her eyes did.

Stella's hands reached up towards the waistband of her trousers before stopping, freezing in midair, and the unspoken question almost felt loud in the comparative emotional silence caused by their newfound ease. The fact that her girlfriend so openly wanted her wasn't lost on Dana, and she felt the heat that had long since settled deep in her core begin to stir as she took Stella's hands and guided them towards their destination.

Soft kisses were planted down her legs, caught in a slow chase as they followed Stella's hands all the way until her trousers landed around her ankles. She reached one hand out to the wall above the blonde's head, kicking them off to one side, and waited for the same to happen with her panties. Stella was faster this time but no less reverent, treating her so carefully that Dana's eyes nearly started to well up at the last press of her lips to the inside of her ankle.

Sitting up to rest on her knees again, she reached out for Dana's thighs. Her hands slipped around and pulled until they were as close to one another as they'd been whilst she was still standing. Her eyes were as trusting as ever.

"Time for your reward," Dana whispered, pretending for as long as she took to say it that Stella was getting more out of this than she was. Perhaps that was true, it's not as though she could be completely sure. But it certainly didn't feel true.

She ran her hand through Stella's hair and tipped her head back, resting on the wall as she had done earlier. Stella slouched between her open legs to be at the right height and she tentatively rocked her hips forward. At the first touch of her tongue, Dana groaned, feeling repetitive swipes as she licked and tasted. Stella quickly moved on to run tight circles around her clit and she bent her knees slightly to grind against her girlfriend's face. The more forceful act was met with a moan and she looked down, pressing the top of her forehead to the wall in front of her, watching how the blonde squirmed with pleasure.

"What a good girl," she muttered.

Stella's tongue explored, lapping up her wetness and smearing it across her own lips. When she darted inside, Dana held her there, forcing her tongue deeper and tilting her head further back. She let out another moan and dug her fingers into the backs of her girlfriend's thighs.

After everything that had happened, all the hours of foreplay that had led them here, Dana wasn't particularly surprised when she felt her climax creeping up on her. It arrived quicker than usual but she welcomed it happily regardless. Stella's tongue continued to work magic inside her and she felt a heady rush that left her leaning on the wall for support. Whatever arousal had come with her orgasm was enthusiastically cleaned up and she whimpered quietly, pressing her cheek to the cool plaster, as she shifted from appreciation into oversensitivity.

She took a shaky step back to give Stella room and waited for her to get up, offering her a hand but glad to see her ignore it until they were both fully upright again, realising a second too late that her own trembling muscles wouldn't have provided all that much help. Stella stretched her legs before eyeing Dana up with an expectant expression. Leaving the discarded clothes and stray buttons to be picked up later, she led her girlfriend on a slow trek up the stairs and towards the bathroom.

"Bath or shower?" she asked as they crossed the threshold.

"Shower." Stella dropped her hand in order to wrap both arms around her waist from behind.

"Do you want me to join you, honey?"

"Yes, please."

She walked towards the shower whilst Stella held tightly onto her midriff, dragging along behind her. Her mind was still a little cloudy from her orgasm and she was working on autopilot as she ticked off what aftercare items she could remember.

At the shower door, she stopped to strip off her own top and turned around, staying in Stella's arms for the moment as she reached around for her skirt's zip and slid both the skirt and her panties off her hips. Her shirt was next and Dana pushed her arms down to let the fabric slide from her shoulders before adding her bra to the haphazardly formed pile on the floor. Stella kicked her skirt and underwear from her ankles, shoving them out of the way with one foot, and Dana walked her backwards into the shower.

The water was quick to heat up but they stayed close to each other anyway. Stella's hands never left her body and her own hands roamed indulgently, feeling every perfectly formed part of her girlfriend's body and luxuriating in the happy sighs and relaxed expression that her touch produced. She turned them round after that, using the opportunity to run her hands through wet blonde locks, smiling as her affection turned into a scalp massage and Stella's sighs turned into quietly satisfied groans.

Once they'd both actually washed, they got out and dressed in pyjamas she'd pulled from the chest of drawers in their bedroom earlier.

"I don't really feel like cooking," she admitted as they went back downstairs. "Can we get takeout instead?"

"Yes, Dana," Stella replied more willingly than she'd expected, following Dana into the living room and looking around for a moment before focusing on her again.

It appeared the submissive state she'd fallen into this time was stronger in more ways than one, and Dana felt a pang of responsibility as she waited for further direction.

"Come here."

Sitting down at one end of the sofa, Dana invited her to sit down as well and moved her pliant body until she was tightly held in a hug. Stella turned within her arms, seeking out the warmth of her body, and she felt the deep rise and fall of relaxed breaths - breaths that drifted across her chest where her girlfriend's cheek came to rest.

"What do you want for dinner?" She lowered her head as she spoke, brushing her lips against the damp blonde hair beneath her chin.

"I don't know, you pick."

"No, honey," Dana denied her as gently as possible. "You don't need to make any other decisions, but I want you to try that one. Deal?"

"Pizza?" she confirmed by way of answering.

"Thank you for listening. You've been such a good girl today."

Stella hummed happily against her chest, more receptive to her praise than Dana had seen before. She wasn't exactly sure why it was happening, why the blonde's behaviour had so noticeably shifted, but that was something to be properly thought about once they both felt ready. Instead, she reached across the sofa to pick up her phone - having left it there when she abandoned the room upon hearing her girlfriend get home - and ordered their food. Had there been any question as to what Stella wanted, she would've asked, but countless memories told her that it would be the same as it was every other time.

Stella was like that in most regards, predictable in a way that Dana found reassuring rather than boring. She liked what she liked and she did what she did, not because she wasn't open to trying new things but because she knew what worked for her. There was a resolute practicality to much of her behaviour and it was the sort of thing one would find incredibly mundane. Unless, that is, one was already deeply in love with her, at which point mundanity became endearing and boring became a comfort.

But the day's openness was a change - a remarkable one, in fact - and though Dana didn't by any means take it as a negative sign, she was still curious to find out where it might've come from.

"Stel, honey," she whispered, trying not to disrupt the peaceful quiet they found themselves in. "It doesn't have to be now, but let me know when you're ready to talk."

After a beat, her muffled reply came. "I feel weird. Not in a bad way. Just weird."

Dana smiled at her engagement. "Can you describe it?"

"I'm happy." She paused momentarily, perhaps taking a second to give her own state of mind a slightly deeper analysis. "It's hard to explain, but it feels more like an absence than anything else. I don't feel more of something, I almost feel less. Less worry, less concern. I just sort of am, my mind's a lot more peaceful than usual."

"Thank you for telling me."

"Thank you for doing this with me. I think I'll be better able to explain it tomorrow once my head's clearer, but I'm sure it's partly down to you. I know that you'll keep me safe."

Stella spoke so easily then, with so much confidence in her, that Dana had to look up towards the ceiling and blink away a few stray tears before they could fall. She'd anticipated a fair degree of emotion about what they were doing, but anticipation couldn't match up to the feeling of her girlfriend putting this much faith in her.

"I love you," was her only intelligible response.

"I love you too, Dana."

They stayed curled up together on the sofa until their pizza arrived, and once she came back from answering the door, her girlfriend didn't take long to cuddle into her side, starting to converse between bites. The mood in the room gradually changed and she was content to listen as Stella's replies became wittier, closer to her usual self, without ever retaking the cold edge Dana had first heard from her during occasional trips to her office. It didn't always follow her home, but it did so often enough to be a normal presence in the house, and she was glad not to hear it today.

More than that, Dana was glad that no underlying part of her felt a need for coldness or distance, especially after she'd shared so much of herself. It was as Stella had said, a positive kind of absence. They weren't hastily reclaiming boundaries or feeling the tendril-like grip of anxiety.

They simply were.

Notes:

thank you as ever to inuendo_outuendo for such discussions as whether Stella would find medical explanations arousing - you know, really important stuff haha

the next chapter will go into more detail about Stella's mental state from her perspective, but I wanted to introduce it from the outside looking in first. this chapter is also where it starts heading into more clearly defined d/s territory (and will keep going that way!) so I'd be curious to see what people think of that development thus far. either way, thank you for reading!

Chapter 8: Degradation

Notes:

thank you inuendo_outuendo for your feedback!

The list in her hands was honest, brutally so, and Stella couldn't help but clench her notebook between her fingers as she read over it for a final time.

After she'd first made the suggestion, Dana had sat her down a few days later to talk it through in more detail. That conversation hadn't been anywhere near as dread-inducing as the one before it, thanks in large part to its comparative brevity, but Stella was hardly comfortable whilst she spoke of wanting to try being humiliated and degraded. The depth of her fantasies went unspoken as she decided to save those for a hypothetical second trial, and so she kept to milder requests.

She didn't want to scare Dana with the kinkier edge her imagination was beginning to take, she scared herself with it enough already. Regardless, the sensible route would be to start off slow and build from there, so she didn't see much harm in leaving heavier suggestions off the table for now. She'd get to sharing them - eventually.

Whilst receptive as always, the one specific thing Dana had asked for was a list. A range of pre-approved options meant that Stella's experience would be predictable without also being formulaic. She didn't know how many her girlfriend would use, nor in what order, but she could be confident that they would all be things she'd permitted in advance. In theory, it was a good idea. Well, in practice, it was too. They'd never done anything like this and she could admit to having a few sensitivities of her own, making the list not just good but perhaps necessary an idea if they wanted things to go smoothly. Her problem, however, came from having to write the bloody thing in the first place.

Putting pen to paper meant offering up another admission. Scrawled words would give yet more of herself away.

But she wasn't losing herself to the ether. She wasn't chipping away at her own protective walls purely to watch them crumble. She was doing this for herself, and possibly for Dana too; what steps they'd taken so far appeared to have been positive for them both.

More importantly - most importantly, even - she was doing this because she wanted to.

In the moment, whilst so bluntly presented with such a want on the page before her, denial was sweet but hard to come by. It felt safer to pretend that these permitted words and general themes would have no effect on her, but that simply wasn't true. She knew merely from thinking about them that they would. Dana's voice would inevitably alter them, changing their intonation and weighting them in a different manner to her own speech, and if anything that deepened her desire. It reminded her that she didn't want just anyone to have this information, to use it, or to be there in the aftermath. She wanted Dana.

Dana, the woman whom she could presently hear flicking through a paperback beside her. Relaxed weekend mornings had always held a special place for them both, especially after she'd made the decision to stop taking on case reviews outside the Met, and this Sunday morning was no different. Had she not been mulling over her list, she most likely would've been cajoling Dana into reading aloud for her or otherwise lain there - content to enjoy the peaceful company.

Instead, she was peeking from behind her notebook and attempting to work out a time to interrupt her girlfriend as inconspicuously as possible.

"What is it, Stel?" Dana asked without once looking up.

Sighing at her own lack of discretion, Stella sat up against the headboard and shuffled sideways, working herself beneath her girlfriend's outstretched arm to end up against her side.

As the page was marked and the book carefully placed on the bedside table, she answered, "I wrote that list."

It didn't need more of an explanation than that.

Dana took the notebook from her hand, turning it over from the comfortably blank page on the other side, and she worked hard to keep her breathing in check. The heady mixture of excitement and anxiety was one that she was starting to know well, and if it couldn't be reassuring then at least it was consistent. She watched intently as Dana pushed her glasses up her nose, then looked away as her eyes followed the words. She didn't feel any need whatsoever to read them again, they were burned into her mind enough as it was.

"Thank you."

Her girlfriend's tone was dull - practically uninterested. Stella was confused but tried not to show it whilst Dana moved the notebook to the bedside table and picked up her novel again. She made it through all of a few pages before giving herself away.

"Oh, did you want me to start now?" Dana began to tease, still looking down at her book with the slightest of smirks appearing on her face. "I didn't realise you were so impatient."

Stella gulped involuntarily, surprised by the quick turnaround in her girlfriend's behaviour, and felt a telltale wave of heat travel through her body. Part of it stayed deep in her core, warming her like a well-stoked fire, but the rest travelled to her cheeks, flushing them as did a stove when one stood just a little too close.

"Really?" Dana caught on, glancing up to meet her eyes for the first time. "Already? I've barely started."

Her face burned and her eyes widened, saying more than she could with words. The immediacy with which she felt that thrill of arousal left her surprised but no less willing. Had they begun here, trialling this before any of the other times Dana had taken charge so far, she imagined her own reaction would've been less positive. But the chances she'd already had to reap the rewards of her own submission made the shock of enjoying this much easier to contend with. She was safe to like the slight pang of humiliation that ran through her at her girlfriend's teasing.

"Want me to keep going?" Dana's tone softened momentarily.

It was an out if she needed it and Stella appreciated the gesture more than ever. But she didn't need it, nor did she want it.

Her voice crackled as she spoke, breaking between proper speech and a whisper. "Yes, please."

Dana pulled her closer, sliding down from the back of her shoulders to wrap an arm possessively around her waist. The grip was firm, unyielding, and she felt the tension from her embarrassment begin to dissipate. Her body relaxed against her girlfriend's side and her head tipped to rest on her shoulder. A strange sense of peace settled over her as she sat there, waiting quietly whilst Dana swapped the books over and read through the list again, and she let her confusingly erotic feelings wash over her mind like a lapping tide. Experience thus far told her that she'd have time to properly think those emotions through later, the only thing to do now was simply feel them.

When the notebook was set aside for a second time along with the redhead's glasses, she felt the tug of Dana's arm behind her back, and she let herself be pulled down to lie flat on the bed. She was pinned there in seconds, held by legs straddling her middle and forearms leaning against the pillow on either side of her head.

Dana leant down over her, staying just high enough that she couldn't reach up for a kiss. "Is that all it takes? I call you 'impatient' once, and you're already turned on?"

Though distracted by her own arousal, Stella could see on Dana's face that she wasn't unaffected by this turn of events either. It looked different on her, sharper almost, but the glint in her eyes and the wicked curve of her lips were telling signs.

"Yes," Stella breathed.

"Mmm," she hummed in thought, "you might regret saying that, because the more desperate you look, the longer I want to make you wait."

Her unconscious response was to grumble at the threat, but no sooner had she done so than Dana was openly laughing at her.

"I thought you were my good girl, but I guess not if you're going to complain. What does that make you, Stel?"

She floundered for the correct answer. "I- I don't know."

Dana reached out towards the bedside table and grabbed her notebook, putting it down beside her head where the redhead's gaze could flick between the list and her face. Everything she'd written down was at the forefront of her mind and she didn't need to see the page to know where this was going next.

"Maybe you don't want to be called a good girl anymore." Stella bristled at the notion but was ignored entirely in favour of looking at the list. "Apparently, there are other names you want me to call you."

She wondered if her cheeks had ever been redder and decided that, no, they almost certainly hadn't. Her ideas had come about with the intention of Dana calling her these things and treating her like this. But there was an added level of humiliation at specifically asking for them herself.

"Not just names. You've been very demanding, haven't you? Telling me how to act and what to do. It's almost like you don't want me to be in charge."

Her thoughts were conflicted, eager to point out that they both knew the list had been asked for but also determined not to do anything that would further undermine Dana's authority. Instead of trying to say anything, she shook her head, hearing the rustle as her hair hit the notebook beside her.

"What are you saying no to? You haven't been demanding? You don't want to tell me what to do? You do want me to be in charge?"

The questions couldn't be answered with a simple nod or shake of her head and she knew without question that it was a deliberate move. Her mouth opened as she tried to formulate a response, but soon closed again, choosing to say nothing and curious to see where they would go from there.

"Aww," Dana cooed with a saccharine sweetness, "you don't know what you want, do you? That's okay, baby. Let me decide."

The pet name had been the last thing she added to her list. No one had ever dared call her by it in the past until Dana first tried to praise her, and the intrinsic reaction she'd had to it then had been in the back of her mind ever since. Hearing it made her feel every bit like a possession rather than a whole person. With a mere word, she could practically feel her own agency recede, and in any other scenario she would've absolutely hated it.

But she didn't hate it now, not in this one - very particular - setting, and with a hesitant nod she let Dana know that. Her hands lifted from their clutch on the sheets, hesitant in their approach, to land on either side of her girlfriend's waist and instead clutch at the fabric found there.

"You can touch me for now." Dana finally got close enough to kiss her, parting her lips with her tongue and dipping into her mouth briefly before retreating again. "I know you can't help yourself."

Having been permitted, she let her hands run up and down her shirt, still moving with caution but eased by the entertained look on Dana's face. Stella hadn't expected her to be so enthusiastic about this. It had been a mainstay of her own fantasies but she hadn't dreamt that her girlfriend would actually be this prepared to try it. That preparedness both calmed and unnerved her whilst she considered just how far Dana would be willing to go, but she knew that she was in safe hands. Though a touch embarrassing, the list proved that too. Nothing would be done without her active consent and there would be no surprises in store - besides her own reactions, that is.

"Let's get this off you."

Dana reached down to pluck at the hem of her top before sitting up across her waist. She bit her lip when her hands fell back to the bed, trying to stop the accompanying whine that came with the loss of contact, but failed miserably and earned another smirk.

"So needy. "

Leaving her to process how she felt about hearing the next word on her list, Dana shuffled back to straddle her thighs and bent down to begin sliding her pyjama top up, leaving kisses across her stomach that slowly turned into gentle bites. They weren't truly painful but she shivered at the sensation, feeling teeth drag along her skin and hands slip beneath her back to pull at the fabric trapped there. The bites grew more forceful the further up they went and she had to wonder if any marks would be left. That was something else she'd asked to try, being marked in places sure to be covered by her usual work attire, and the idea that she might be left with evidence of Dana's possession on her skin sent a pleasurable shiver down her spine.

"You like that, baby?" Dana called her out on the physical reaction.

She still wanted to hate the pet name, she really did. But she couldn't. It felt infantilizing and condescending and the only thing Stella really hated was how much she loved it.

"Yes, Dana," she replied, lifting her arms out of her girlfriend's way so that her top could be taken off. Her fingers brushed against the headboard of their bed and - after the bunched up fabric was pulled up, lifted over her head, and chucked off the bed to land somewhere on the floor - she wrapped them around the edge of a wooden slat for purchase.

"It's a good thing you're hot, seeing as you're making me do all the work."

Dana started on her breasts before she could think much about the statement, before she could feel yet another flush of shame on her skin, and before she could realise quite how much she was enjoying herself. The way she was being treated was humiliating, yes, but it also gave her a newfound permission. In this moment, it wasn't her job to consider whether or not she was doing the right thing or embarrassing herself. Her only task was to listen to what Dana had to say and accept it - act on it in whatever ways she was told to. Self-conscious worries could be abandoned for however long this lasted.

"Mmm," Dana hummed around her nipple, stopping to flick across it with her tongue before biting down ever so gently.

"Ahhh," she sighed. Whether the noise was in pain or pleasure, she couldn't be sure, though neither was Stella entirely sure she could tell the difference at this point.

"Oh," that sickeningly sweet voice returned, "are you feeling sensitive?"

When Dana looked up, still smirking as hard as before, she nodded quickly. Her head lifted from the pillow as she moved and the sight of her own chest made her pause. They weren't severe by any stretch, but she could see faint patterns of red and pink that were just barely starting to bruise. Some were further down on her stomach whilst others littered her breasts and she noted the clearly deliberate valley of unblemished skin that had been left in the middle.

Seemingly working out her train of thought, Dana confirmed her unspoken assumption. "Your shirts aren't normally open that far, but I know what you're like when you're trying to get a confession. I bet you unbutton them sometimes, just a little, just so murderers can get distracted by what a slut you are for long enough to slip up in interrogation."

Another hurried nod: caused this time by the fact that Stella had few intelligible thoughts at all. Dana had been right about everything else so far, meaning she must be right about this too. She'd dictated what they did - within the pre-agreed confines - and she'd already proven herself honest, so this had to be true.

"Say it, baby." Dana forced a hand between Stella's unwittingly clenched thighs, spreading them to press against her own inner thighs. "What are you?"

"Your slut," she whispered.

For once, the quiet tone of her voice didn't come from nerves. She didn't worry about the reaction she might get for agreeing, nor did she concern herself with her own hesitant feelings on the matter - as distant and hazy as they presently were. She simply did as she was told, quiet only due to breathlessness whilst increased adrenaline told her brain that she needed more oxygen.

It was Dana's turn to look surprised then and they watched each other for a second, eyes wide, before that surprise was quickly turned back around. Stella was flipped over onto her stomach as her girlfriend shifted to one side and soon she felt her pyjama trousers being dragged down her legs and unhooked from one ankle to end up on the floor. She kept her arms up, resting above her head, and groaned happily when Dana settled across her thighs once more.

"I like the sound of that," Dana matched her whisper whilst laying down on her back, stopping to drag nails up her sides and smiling against the back of her shoulder when she whimpered. "You're not gonna bend over and take it like a man from just anyone, are you? You're mine. "

The pillowcase felt silky against her cheek as she nodded again, eager to agree with her girlfriend. What she was slowly losing in logic and critical thinking was being more than made up for by the flooding of her senses as she let herself live purely in the moment. The bed beneath her was soft, the sheets comforting against her skin, and the combined weight and warmth of Dana laying on top of her felt both freeing and yet restricting. Not in a bad way though, it felt like being trapped in the best sense of the word.

In order to feel more of her, Stella attempted to rise up beneath her. She tried to pull her hands back from the top edge of the mattress, seeking to bring them down to shoulder height and press up against Dana's body, but her wrists were pinned back down to the bed before she could get very far.

"Stay," Dana commanded, tightly squeezing her wrists as an entirely unneeded reminder of who was in charge before releasing her again. "Try having a little self-control."

She didn't realise the weak spot was there until it got poked. The words stung, but they didn't make her want to stop. A few stray tears collected in the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall, and she couldn't care less about whether they carried through on that threat. Dana had said far worse and far more humiliating things to her today than a couple of simple tears could ever match up to. Better yet, those things were only being said because she asked for them in the first place. Anxiety over being judged for crying felt laughable given the lack of judgement for everything else.

"Did I say something funny?" The gently asked question made her realise that her laughter hadn't solely been internal.

"No," she couldn't help but keep laughing, watching the blurred wall of their bedroom through her occasional tears. "Sorry, Dana."

"You don't sound sorry." Dana cut off her giggles with one easy implication, shifting an arm in between their bodies to grab her ass, telling her in no uncertain terms that she was close to being spanked. Later on, when she was able to properly think again, she would ponder whether Dana actually thought it was a punishment or not. But for now, all she could think about was how good it would feel.

In place of words, she used her core strength to press her ass cheek as firmly into Dana's open palm as she could manage. The bed gave a protesting creak whilst she moved the majority of their combined body weights to the pressure points of her forearms and knees, pushing herself up.

"No."

Her girlfriend's nails bit into the soft flesh of her ass and she took in a sharp breath as they collapsed back down onto the mattress. The force required to lift them both whilst she was already nearly flat out on the bed made her muscles feel like jelly afterwards, and she felt more trapped than ever as they refused to cooperate, leaving her limp and pliable.

Dana sat up, ignoring her grumbled dissatisfactory noises, and shuffled back to straddle her knees. Hands grabbed her ass and she worked as hard as she could to stay still. That seemed to be the only path towards getting what she wanted, something more than kisses and teasing.

"I can't wait to fuck your ass," Dana admitted in a casual tone, one whose origins Stella couldn't understand given how absolutely not fucking casual she felt. "But I want to use your pussy right now."

The pillow took the brunt of her reaction as she bit down, trying to fight off an overwhelming urge that she couldn't fully decipher. Part of her wanted to run away from the strong feelings coursing through her body, to hide as if she might one day be able to forget how good it all felt, but the rest of her wanted to stay right where she was, caught up in anticipation and ready to be used - as her girlfriend had so eloquently recited from her list. Dana dragged a finger up her sex from behind, barely parting her labia, and the decision to stay was made for her.

"You haven't even been fucked and you're already soaking wet. Time to fix that."

Slowly pushing one finger inside her, Dana gave a few half-hearted thrusts before pulling back out and turning her hand over to enter Stella the other way round. This time she felt the pad of Dana's middle finger drag against her front wall and she brought her arms back down until her hands were on either side of her head, reacting without thinking whilst she tried to cope with how turned on she already was from mostly psychological foreplay. It hadn't been deliberate, but she still knew it was a mistake as soon as she did it, and she wondered how quickly it would be rectified.

Dana stopped fingering her to grab both of her wrists again, leaning down over her and forcing Stella's hands back up to where she'd put them. "I thought I told you to stay."

Seeing as she wasn't misbehaving on purpose, Stella wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to keep still, to do what she was told, but her body seemed to betray her at every hurdle.

"You could tie me up," she suggested quietly before steeling herself to say it again, confident that Dana wouldn't do it unless she herself sounded convinced. "Tie my wrists to the headboard. Then I'll have to stay."

"Are you sure, honey?"

She smiled at the return to her preferred pet name and turned her neck as far as she could, knowing from the feeling of her girlfriend's breath on her cheek that their faces hadn't been far apart to begin with. Dana was hard to focus on this close up but her eyes were bright and easy to follow, so Stella met her gaze as best she could before replying.

"Tie me up, please."

Dana leant into her, skating her lips across Stella's jaw and planting a kiss there far softer than any others that day. "Thank you for asking nicely."

The honest praise after all of Dana's teasing made her happier than usual and she brushed their cheeks together for no other reason than to just feel more of her girlfriend, humming faintly whilst she did it. Dana chuckled at the display of affection but didn't try to stop her, and before long she was relaxing down against the pillow again.

Her happy mood faced a brief interruption, however, when Dana followed through on her polite request. Tying her up meant getting something to tie her with, and she knew there mustn't have been anything suitable in reach when she felt Dana get up and off the bed. Cautiously rolling to one side, Stella watched her pull a belt from one of the robes on the back of the bedroom door and run it through her fingers, pulling the silk taut to make sure it was strong enough.

Apparently satisfied that it would work, Dana glanced up, losing her thoughtful expression and arching her brow.

"Did I say you could move?"

Stella rolled back onto her stomach, feeling the mattress constrict her chest slightly as she took in deep breaths, trying and failing to tame the pulse of arousal that shot through her at her girlfriend's confidence. "No, Dana."

"That's more like it." Dana climbed back onto the bed, sitting across her back this time, and slowly wrapped one end of the belt around one of her wrists. "Can you remember your safe word, baby? Or are you so desperate you can't think straight?"

Desperate was hardly an inaccurate way of describing her, but Stella was just lucid enough to appreciate the caring nature behind the question. Though it might've been phrased as a taunt, she knew Dana was using it to check in with her and make sure that she was still actively consenting to what they were about to do.

"Flower."

"Good." Dana laughed when she huffed, frustrated that the praise stopped there.

It was hard to see from her position, but she felt as Dana bent down over her, snaking the belt around a slat in the headboard before taking hold of her free arm. The silk was cool against her skin whilst her girlfriend's hands were so much warmer, and she soon felt the slight pressure of a knot being tied as the belt gently pulled on her wrist. Afterwards, Dana sat back across her ass and started up a light shoulder massage.

"How do you feel?"

She sighed in contentment before answering, letting herself soak up the strange mixture of pleasant emotions that being restrained seemed to have produced. If she kept her hands right against the headboard, she could barely feel the belt around her wrists, but if she pulled them back at all, the silk quickly grew taut and pressed indents into her skin. Whilst feeling trapped was something that she'd never enjoyed, this felt altogether different. She was trapped because she wanted to be, because she asked for it, and she knew that Dana would untie her immediately if she asked for that too.

Rather than fueling her fears, it helped to suffocate them, because giving in like this meant giving up another layer of control. She couldn't hold herself to the same exacting standards as she usually did and she couldn't shame herself for what came next because it wasn't up to her - in a performative sense anyway.

"Relaxed," she said quietly, "aroused, happy."

"Glad to hear it." Dana shuffled further down again, brushing her pyjama trousers along Stella's body until she was straddling her calves. "I was in the middle of something when you started squirming."

A low-pitched noise erupted from Stella's throat when she was unceremoniously entered, feeling two fingers push inside her to slowly thrust in and out. She pulled at her restraints to no avail and ended up twisting to grab at the belt with her hands, needing something to hold on to.

"So fucking wet. I should call you a slut more often."

Her thighs clenched around Dana's hand and she moved as far down the bed as she could get, wanting to feel her girlfriend's fingers deeper inside herself. But the further she moved, the further Dana moved as well, and her attempts only served to make the belt tug at her wrists.

"No no," Dana chided. "If you want more, you need to ask for it. Otherwise, it's up to me-"

"More, please," Stella asked before she'd even finished.

"Try a little harder. You can do it, baby. Beg me to fuck you."

"Please," she tried again, unsure where to go from there. "Please, Dana."

Despite her attempts, she felt Dana's fingers pull out of her entirely. She whined helplessly against the pillow, but the only response was the redhead smearing her arousal across her ass and getting up off her legs.

"Not good enough."

Muffled noises to her side told Stella that Dana was stripping her clothes off, but she'd turned her head the other way and she wasn't sure she had the strength - either physical or mental - to turn back. When the noises died down, she felt the bed shift as her girlfriend clambered back on, and she let out a sigh of relief knowing that she'd at least have physical contact if nothing else.

"It's been all about you today. What you want." Dana's voice was breathy as she moved and settled, straddling one of Stella's thighs this time. "What you need. But it's my turn now."

"Ohh," Stella moaned softly at the feeling of her girlfriend rocking against the back of her thigh, leaving a trail of wetness with each grinding motion.

"You asked me to use you, so I am. I'm going to use your body and I want you to think while I do it. By the time I come, you better start begging again, properly this time. Maybe then I'll fuck you."

She really did try to think. But it was difficult for her to think about anything other than Dana. The way her thighs were tight around Stella's own thigh, the way her cunt slipped easily thanks to her arousal, the way her breaths took on a whiny note the further she got towards her orgasm. Stella was utterly overcome with thoughts about her.

As Dana got closer, she started to stroke her own clit. Stella assumed so anyway, judging by the feeling of her hand brushing the back of her thigh and moving in time with each grind. It was all-consuming to be part of, being this tool for masturbation instead of an equal participant, and she loved how her girlfriend was willfully taking pleasure from her.

Dana came quietly, telling Stella more from the cum sliding down the inside of her thigh than from any loud moans or cries. Her legs shook from the redhead’s trembling climax and her arms tensed, causing the headboard to squeak from the pressure she was putting it under. Before long, Dana collapsed down onto her back and she grunted at the unexpected weight.

"Open."

The pads of Dana's fingers pressed against her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, automatically licking at them and savouring the taste of her girlfriend's arousal.

"I taste good, don't I?"

"Mmm," she hummed in agreement, trying to nod at the same time without moving too far from Dana's hand.

"Go on then." Dana pulled her fingers out of Stella's mouth when they were clean. "You can start now."

"Hmm?"

Her confusion didn't waver as her girlfriend climbed off her and sat to one side on the bed, but when her body was rolled back over and she gave a pathetic yelp, she was finally able to see Dana properly again. Stella could see the hunger in her eyes, barely kept at bay with the patience of a predator who knew they would get what they wanted - they just had to wait.

"Please." She finally remembered, having taken what was probably only a few seconds but what felt like a lifetime to get there. "Please fuck me."

"Keep going."

Her arms were crossed above her head from where her wrists were tied and she thrashed against the binds for a moment. Seeing Dana look down at her, clearly enjoying the show, made her want to say or do anything she could that might work. But all of the new experiences and the stupor of arousal that came with them left her mind reeling.

"Please, Dana. I don't know what else to say. Tell me and I'll say it. I just-"

Something popped into her head, something that made her glad her cheeks were already too flushed for this new wave of embarrassment to make a difference. She worried her bottom lip between her teeth for a few seconds, staring deep into her girlfriend's eyes, before taking as deep a breath as she could.

"I need you to fuck me. Pretty please?"

"So you can still be a good girl after all." Dana heaved an overdramatic sigh of relief, and hearing that combined with her favourite praise, she laughed harder and more gleefully than she would ever have expected to whilst tied to her own bed - or anyone else's bed for that matter.

Pushing her thighs apart, Dana ran one finger up and down her sex. "Are my fingers enough? Or do you need more?"

Stella could see in her eyes that her girlfriend wanted to do more, and she was hardly against the idea herself, so she said, "More, please."

"Aww," Dana reached over her body towards the bedside table but stopped to stroke a hand across her cheek, "you're so cooperative when you know you're about to be fucked."

She didn't respond, content to lie there in wait whilst she watched Dana grab the harness and lube from the bottom drawer. What surprised her, however, was the next item to be pulled out. She'd never used it herself, but she'd fucked her girlfriend with that dildo on multiple occasions, and she knew from experience that it was bigger than their others. Dana slipped it into the harness then strapped it to herself, and Stella decided not to comment. The only good reason she'd have would be if she didn't want her girlfriend to fuck her with it, and that was about as far from the truth as she could get.

Dana knelt between her open legs, spreading them further, and picked one up, holding Stella's thigh up against her chest so that her knee rested at her shoulder - with Stella's calf dangling over her back. The position pulled Stella to the extent her makeshift cuffs would allow, dragging her until her ass rested on the edge of her girlfriend's thighs. She could feel the stretch in her hamstrings as Dana positioned her, but it was gentle enough to add to her pleasure rather than take away from it.

"You're probably wet enough," Dana taunted as the silicone cock dragged across her sex. "But I want to make sure you're ready."

Whimpering lightly as she felt the cold lube smeared on her girlfriend's fingers, she let her body relax and submitted herself fully. Once the toy and her entrance were slick, Dana very cautiously pushed the first inch or so inside her. The upturned angle of her pelvis meant that she could see nearly everything and she watched as Dana thrusted slowly, barely moving back and forth. Her breath took on that same whiny tone that her girlfriend's had earlier and she pulled on her restraints as the larger than usual toy was pushed even deeper.

"You're taking it so well," Dana cooed and smiled wickedly down at her. "I can feel how tight you are, baby. You're not used to being fucked with such a big toy. But you can take more, can't you?"

"Yes," she cried with yet another urgent nod, feeling the hairs on the nape of her neck stand on end from the static electricity she'd amassed as her hair rubbed against the pillow.

"Such a good..." Dana stilled inside her, head tipped to one side as if appraising her like an artwork. "Slut."

"Yes," she repeated.

Stella wasn't quite sure if it was a reward or a punishment when she was filled with the last couple of inches on a single, sharp thrust. But she didn't care either way. Dana's hand gripped her thigh hard enough that it would most likely be left with marks similar to those on her chest, and her other leg dragged uselessly against the sheets by Dana's side. Between that and her tied wrists, no part of her body was under her own control, and she loved the helpless feeling of being subjected to whatever her girlfriend wanted.

Losing herself to the feeling, she closed her eyes and focused only on the physical sensations her body was experiencing. Her wrists were sore from tugging at their binds and she turned them from side to side just to feel the hot friction between silk and skin. Her chest ached from countless heaving breaths and the way that her body had been somewhat folded upwards to be fucked meant that the occasional thrust put pressure on one of the fresh bruises across her stomach. Her thigh was warm against Dana's chest, through which she could feel the faint thud of her girlfriend's pounding heart. When the toy was at its deepest, it felt nearly overwhelming, but the milliseconds between each hastening rock of Dana's hips gave her long enough to feel empty and desperate for more.

Meaningless sounds spilled from her lips and she heard them grow higher in pitch the closer she got to climaxing.

"So noisy."

She opened her eyes to find Dana watching her, breathing as hard as she was. From there, she let her gaze fall to watch her girlfriend's free hand, drifting to rest against her sex. Dana began playing with her clit, using her thumb to stroke in small circles, and Stella moaned at the lightest contact. It wasn't long before Dana's touch got firmer, and the consistent attention to her clit amplified the feeling of her inner walls pulsing around the thick toy cock inside her.

"Are you ready to come for me, baby? Show me how much you like being tied up and fucked hard."

As Dana spoke, she gave a quick, deep thrust - hard enough that Stella would've been pushed up the bed had she not held onto her thigh so tightly.

That rough sensation of being filled sent Stella over the edge, leaving her to shudder and moan whilst Dana slowed to a much gentler pace. Her body felt like it was on fire and her hands clutched at the strip of belt around the headboard, eager for something to ground herself with beyond her girlfriend. A drip of arousal ran down towards her stomach from her raised position on Dana's thighs and her cunt quickly felt oversensitive from all of the forceful actions that had brought her pleasure.

Whimpering as Dana carefully pulled out of her, she closed her eyes again and relaxed against the sheets. Movement around her made the bed dip and shift but she paid it no mind until she felt her girlfriend bend down over her to untie her wrists. Once they were free, Stella used her shaky arms to hold Dana close, forcing her to lie down on top of her. The warmth and body weight were soothing after the intensity of what they'd just done.

"Do you want-"

"Not yet," she whispered, wanting to bask in her post-climactic euphoria for a little longer.

 

 

Having finally found the energy to move, she accepted Dana's request to grab a washcloth and clean her up before they both dressed in the pyjamas they'd been wearing earlier. Her mind still wasn't running at its usual efficiency and she appreciated the slight haze that had fallen over her. However, that meant she was affected enough not to notice Dana's uncertain state until she was gently led down to the kitchen.

"Are you alright, honey?" Dana questioned. "Did I go too far?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I got carried away. And then when you were crying I should've stopped and checked in with you. I'm sorry."

She looked at Dana properly then, seeing the concern in her eyes for the first time, and took one of her hands to pull her towards the worksurface. Stella leant back against it so that Dana was in front of her, almost pinning her there.

"You did check in with me. I thought so anyway. And you didn't do anything that I didn't ask for." Lifting a hand to stroke Dana's cheek, her eyes fell to her own wrist, where her skin was red and angry from having been restrained. "Perhaps we did go a little far, seeing as we tried so many new things at once. If there's any part that you didn't like, we won't do it again. But if you're worried about me, then I need you to know that I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmhmm." She smiled softly as Dana met her gaze. "In the spirit of honesty, my back's aching slightly. I think I might be too old for any positions that are more..." she couldn't think of the right word, "pretzel-esque than that. And my wrists are a bit sore. But otherwise, I really do feel alright. I promise."

"Okay." Dana took hold of her hand, paused to kiss her palm, then glanced down at her wrist. "Can I have a look?"

She didn't think her wrists were actually damaged enough to warrant any sort of treatment, but she knew Dana's aftercare was as important as her own - especially given the redhead's current worries. So she agreed immediately, giggling as Dana picked her up and sat her on the worksurface.

"You're so attentive, doctor."

"Shhh." Dana tried to look stern but Stella knew they were getting somewhere when a small smile crept onto her face.

After checking her wrists, Dana cleaned them with cold water and applied antiseptic cream before gently wrapping them both in loose bandages. Stella was a model patient throughout whilst she let her girlfriend work through her emotions, and soon Dana put away the first aid supplies and walked back over to give her a hug. She felt her girlfriend's arms slip around her waist, pulling her to the edge of the worksurface, and in turn she wrapped her own arms around Dana's neck.

"Thank you," Stella said.

"I'd like to get something that'll be softer on your wrists if you want to do that again. But thank you for letting me take care of you, honey."

"That reminds me." She brought a hand round from the back of Dana's neck to dramatically wag her finger. "In bed - when I've agreed to it - is one thing. But call me 'baby' anywhere else and expect actual bodily harm."

"Only ABH? Not GBH? I think I'll survive."

Dana laughed at Stella's pantomime frown and she broke it to laugh along with her, pleased to see her so happy again and confident that the joke was just that - a joke. She knew that Dana would respect any and all boundaries she chose to set.

"Okay, Stel. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"Very little," she sighed pleasantly. "Have a bath, maybe. It might help to loosen up my back, and it'll give us a chance to talk more about how we're feeling."

Taking a leaf out of Dana's book, Stella phrased the suggestion in such a way that it was about them both. She didn't want to hassle her into opening up, but she did want to find out more about her concerns, and leading by example seemed to be the easiest approach. If she opened up first, Dana would surely follow.

"Sounds good to me."

Notes:

this leans more towards humiliation than it does specifically degradation, which is debatably slightly different (thanks to this fic my browser history is, uh, interesting) but I felt they worked together quite well for this chapter.

I didn't realise quite how accurate the note from the last chapter would end up being about the fic getting into more definitively d/s territory from there, but well, here it is haha.

Chapter 9: Collar

Cuprorivaite: the first blue, or perhaps at least the first blue that humanity could call its own.

To the innocent eye, blue makes up such a vast swathe of the natural world. The ocean surrounds, the sky encloses, and yet mere tricks of light are what make the world so very monochrome. Egyptian blue, or cuprorivaite, sought to change that. Tiny slips of natural pigment were to be found in rare places - for example, within the wings of an Obrina Olivewing butterfly - but this novel synthetic was beloved and could be used for far more. Ceramics, statues, and even the tombs of pharaohs were where it found a home. Its popularity faded as newer alternatives came to be created. But in the modern day, it was neither forgotten nor faded in lustre. Under new - fluorescent - light, it even glowed.

Lapis lazuli followed a slightly different path. Much like the tombs of pharaohs, the cave walls in the Bamiyan cliffs along the Silk Road gave it a home. The semi-precious stone was but one part in the creation of Buddhist murals, some of which exist to this day, many of which have existed since the sixth century. Where it differs is its resurgence, popularised by Italian traders in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries. It was renamed ultramarine and became highly prized across Europe; Johannes Vermeer may even have put his family into debt due to his simple love for the stuff.

These blues exemplified the divine. Throughout history, they were loved. Yet times passed by in which they were unheard of - ignored. To someone within the throes of such a love, the notion of ignorance might've seemed ludicrous. Regardless, these blues remained, ready to be loved anew in an as yet unknown future.

Dana was no gleeful researcher discovering the infrared radiation given off by Egyptian blue, nor was she a fifteenth century artist trying to scrape up enough money to afford a smidge of ultramarine. But she could relate to those people more than she knew whilst she watched her own trick of the light.

Stella was kneeling between her legs, looking up at her as she sat on the edge of their bed. Her eyes flicked from one blue to another: scattered light much like the sky, the product of an aniline dye.

For now, Dana chose to focus on the former. Stella's eyes were everchanging, cool and dim in the office lights that she often called home, warm and rich in the fading summer sun that streamed through their bedroom window. They had been loved, Dana knew, as had the rest of her. But she wasn't fit to last in the ways of simple pigments and semi-precious stones; the years since she'd last been truly loved had left their mark. The cracks weren't always easy to spot, but they were there, shown in the distance that she kept from most people and in the struggles she still sometimes had to accept that she was now loved again.

The other blue was deeper. It was synthetic like cuprorivaite but much newer in technique. Dana held the dyed leather in her hands, watching how the dark teal colouring absorbed more light than it caught, and only looked up when the gold-plated hardware reflected onto Stella's face.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

Stella shifted beneath Dana, resettling on her knees and smoothing out the skirt that she was yet to change out of after work. Neither woman had done much to hide their anticipation whilst waiting for the collar to arrive. Ever since Dana had measured around her neck to make sure that it would be the right size, they'd shared an unspoken excitement that was amplified tenfold upon Stella getting home this evening to find it had arrived.

"Yes, Dana."

She lifted the collar just as Stella lifted her hair out of the way. A final questioning glance passed between them, one last check in, before she held the collar to the blonde's throat and felt a sharp intake of breath as leather met skin. Feeling around her neck, Dana fed the slight excess through the buckle and secured it. She slipped her finger beneath the collar to make sure it wasn't too tight and then let go whilst she watched Stella process the new feeling.

Blonde curls fell down to hide much of the collar as Stella's hands dropped to Dana's thighs. Her breathing hadn't calmed since that first touch but her eyes had. They were wide but not panicked, as serene as they were revealing. She tilted her head from side to side and Dana watched as the leather gently caught on her skin, feeling out the confines of her new accessory without reaching up to touch it.

"How do I look?"

The question was asked with a newfound quiet confidence. Dana had spent enough time herself wondering how Stella might react, but all of her imagined outcomes had involved at least a little more hesitation than this. That's not to say that she wanted her girlfriend to hesitate. She'd just expected it. But perhaps, she realised, she should've listened better to why the collar was wanted in the first place. It was a physical transaction of control, and one that gave Stella all the more reason to surrender any lingering anxieties.

"You look perfect, honey."

She smiled gently and cupped Stella's face with her hands, bending down just far enough for a brief kiss before sitting back up and taking Stella's hands in her own. Standing up, she looked down and felt her smile widen as Stella's head fell back. The desire to maintain eye contact left her chin tipped far enough upwards that the collar was visible even whilst Dana was practically overtop of her.

"Stand up."

Stella got up in front of her and she traced her hands along the blonde's shirt buttons, undoing them one by one. Once the shirt hung open, Dana moved to her skirt, unzipping it from the side of her hip before pulling it down her legs until she could step out of it. Her panties went next, discarded to the floor alongside her skirt.

"Kneel."

The obedience with which Stella followed her every command sent a pleasant tingle down her spine. It was nice to hold this level of power, but it was made nicer still by knowing why it had been given to her. She knew that Stella knew that they would both get something out of this. It wasn't given begrudgingly, but instead because she was worth it.

Watched intently as she did so, Dana pushed Stella's shirt off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor behind her. Then she bent down to take off her bra, leaving her naked save for the strip of leather around her throat.

"I was wrong." Dana straightened back up and held her cheek with one hand, stroking the soft skin affectionately with her thumb as Stella leant into the contact. "Now you look perfect."

The expression in Stella's eyes changed then, dimming from her earlier brightness but looking no less happy. Her eyelids fluttered whilst she slowly turned her head from side to side, not so much shaking it as she was moving against Dana's palm to stroke her own cheek, and in any other setting she would've looked drunk.

"Thank you, Dana."

Chuckling at her girlfriend's dazed smile, she said, "You don't need to thank me, honey. I'm just telling you the truth."

They stayed as they were for a moment or two before Dana remembered that she had to be the instigator in any next steps. She was past the point of being surprised by Stella's submissive tendencies, but the headstrong blonde gave off an air in just about every other scenario that was so very opposed to this. Perhaps that was the point, perhaps that departure from the rest of her life gave her freedom in a way that little else could.

"Pull my pants down."

Dana slipped her top over her head whilst Stella got to work, jumping to complete the task with a rather cute level of enthusiasm.

"Good girl," she praised just to watch her face light up, knowing that excitement would briefly wash away the haziness in her eyes.

Stella looked sinfully adorable like that, proudly smiling up at Dana and awaiting further direction. Her pert nipples and clenching thighs gave her deeper desires away, but on her face there was nothing besides willingness for whatever she would be asked to do next.

Instead of asking, Dana chose to say nothing. She slipped her forefinger through the gold d-ring in the middle of the collar and pulled Stella to her feet by her throat. It wasn't hurried or forceful, she didn't want to risk injuring her, but the demanding act made clear who was in charge. Stella rose to her feet on shaky legs and Dana put her other hand out in case it was needed to hold onto, but the blonde made it upright without incident. The only sign it had even happened came in the disappearance of her smile - lost behind what appeared to be the growing streak of arousal that coloured her face once more.

"Lie down on the bed, on your back."

Dana slipped off her own underwear whilst Stella lay down and soon joined her on the bed, straddling her and waiting for her hands to reach out. She knew Stella would try to touch her, or she thought she knew anyway, but the increased obedience that had come with the collar wrapping around the blonde's throat seemed to affect her every decision. Stella wasn't just resigning herself to Dana's permission, she was acting only when told to. Perhaps that was why she looked so innocent - so free. Nothing, quite literally, was up to her. Dana pondered when might've been the last time she was truly unshackled from responsibility, and all realistic answers to that question were frankly upsetting.

Stella needed this, she realised, whether or not the blonde knew it too. This opportunity to relax in the comfort of safe hands was novel in its approach, yes, but it was also novel for the sheer fact that Stella's life thus far had held painfully few trusting relationships. No one had afforded her the chance to feel completely emotionally safe in decades, and the headfirst plummet with which she was now falling into such a safety net suddenly made a lot more sense.

Already, Dana knew that she would have to be proactive with aftercare tonight. Whatever happened, she assumed that Stella would come out of this - at best - a touch confused. But they were here now, and Dana planned to show her what a plush, cushiony landing could be provided upon reaching the end of that emotional fall.

"Not today," she whispered, trailing her eyes over the barely there marks across Stella's chest and stomach from their last scene.

"Hmm?"

"Your bruises." She smiled softly and stroked a hand along the same path her eyes had taken, filling in for Stella's lack of understanding and taking up any excuse to touch her. "I'm not giving you anymore."

For the first time since the collar went on, Stella pouted. Her bottom lip stuck out and her eyebrows furrowed in an entirely wasted attempt at what looked like stroppiness. Dana chuckled at the quick turnaround, secretly loving the weight of her words on her girlfriend's emotions, and quickly got rid of the pout with a further explanation.

"I didn't say forever, just today. You're too precious for that right now."

Stella's frown broke with a giggle at the compliment and she decided to keep going, using the power she'd been given for as good a purpose as she could think of. She leant down over her, shuffling back to straddle her thighs, and gently kissed everywhere on Stella's skin that was still marked by faint bruises.

"Say it, honey. What are you?"

Dana moved further up her chest as she went, stopping only when Stella squirmed to go back over a ticklish spot and kiss it again.

"I'm precious."

"Mmm," she hummed around her nipple before working up to her collarbone. "Yes, you are."

To her sweet-natured credit, Stella's hands continued to remain at her sides. Dana paused to wrap Stella's arms around her own neck before going any higher, and as soon as she was allowed, Stella held on tight. The closeness of the scene was unexpected, but now Dana couldn't imagine it going any other way. She was happy to try out her girlfriend's rougher requests, and she could admit to liking more than a few of them, but these honest chances to express the depths of her affection were what she currently craved most from their new dynamic.

After planting kisses up the side of her neck, ending with a few above and below the collar, she whispered into her ear, "You're my precious girl."

Stella turned her head towards Dana, brushing their noses together as she moved, and smiled again. There wasn't even a hint of a challenge in her eyes, as blurry as they were this close up. She simply accepted what she was being told.

Gently rolling them both over, Dana held her close and moved her arms before they were trapped beneath her own neck. She scooted up and back to slouch against the headboard, bringing Stella upright with her, and nestled her face into the crevice between smooth skin and blonde hair. Her lips brushed the side of Stella's neck and she moved back and forth just to hear her girlfriend laugh again. The collar already felt natural in its place around Stella's throat, warmed and supple from the heat of her body, and she pulled away to look at it.

"How does the collar feel?" Glancing up at Stella's face, she realised the question might be too much for now; answering it would take a level of thought that she wasn't sure her girlfriend was capable of. So she changed tack. "Do you like it so far?"

A barely audible sigh of relief accompanied Stella's quick nod and she was happy to see that her theory proved correct. The more understanding Dana could have of her mental state, the better she could make this experience.

One of her hands settled on Stella's lower back whilst the other lifted up to her neck, and she held onto her by the collar's ring. "I was going to ask if you like your collar. But it's not really yours, is it? It's my collar." She cautiously pulled until there were scant millimetres between them once more, feeling hot exhales fan out across her cheeks. "My collar, for my good girl."

"Sorry," Dana corrected, much to Stella's immediate confusion. "My precious girl."

Her correction brought about another fast shift in her girlfriend's expression; perplexed wrinkles softened into a vibrant smile once more and she returned it in full force. She could stay there for hours, she realised, content to lavish Stella with possessive compliments until even the most persistent rays of sunset's glow were fading on the horizon. No, she could keep going after that just the same. Why would she need the sun's illumination when the light of her life was right in front of her?

However, her own desires weren't to be her only consideration. Her words might've been appreciated, but Stella's telltale squirming and shifting movements in her lap betrayed a rather more carnal wish.

As much as she wanted to put her girlfriend first, pleasuring her until her adorable smiles and happy giggles turned into concentrated arousal and helpless moans, she knew Stella would want to reciprocate. That wasn't so much a problem as it was something that needed to be thought through. She didn't plan to push Stella beyond one orgasm because she knew how intense the evening already was, but she also wanted to be as clear-headed as possible in the aftermath. Coming first, thus freeing Stella from any misplaced yet lingering guilt about being selfish, also meant that Dana could be entirely focused when sex turned to aftercare and emotions inevitably came to the forefront.

She tugged on the collar, watching Stella watch her until the small gap between them vanished and their lips pressed together. Dana's ensuing groan was unexpected and just as helpless as her girlfriend was, but she had to react somehow to feeling Stella's submission even in the soft flesh of her lips. Memories of their first kiss flooded her mind, picturing the moment in which Stella had pushed her up against a kitchen wall in this very house after their second date. She could still feel the force with which the blonde had taken her, managing to get her from the kitchen to the bedroom in what had felt like no time at all, followed by making her come in a similarly quick fashion.

This was so very different to that blazing heat she'd first felt a few years ago. This was gentle; this was sweet; and this was Stella giving her absolutely everything she could ever ask for.

When she found the will to stop kissing her, Dana let go of her lower back to stroke a hand across her cheek whilst keeping hold of the collar. "I want you to show me how much you like being mine."

Another tug told Stella what she meant by the request. Her control was cautious but firm as her grip on the collar's ring dragged her girlfriend to where she wanted her to go, moving down Dana's body with a growing sense of purpose as the goal became clear. When she could no longer reach her neck safely, she switched her hold to the crown of blonde hair dragging across her stomach. Her legs parted to give Stella some room and she chose to say nothing about the smile still plastered on Stella's face, seeing it widen ever so slightly through a choppy curtain of blonde curls at the prospect of what would be happening next.

"Make me come, honey."

Her slouched position gave her full view of what was going on and she watched Stella's eyes close just as she felt her tongue. It was the same savouring look that one might wear at the first bite of a favourite meal or the first sip of a much needed morning coffee. Dana truly did feel savoured in that moment, loved in a different but no less real way to that which she was showing Stella. She was in charge, yes, but this was an exchange, not a one-sided offering. It would do her well to remember that, she realised; Stella wasn't the only one who could put her partner first to the detriment of herself.

She brushed her fingers through blonde hair, combing it back, and chose a scalp massage in favour of her usual - rougher - holds. Her thighs tightened unconsciously and she was about to force them further open until Stella moaned happily against her, enjoying the light confinement. Instead of parting her legs, Dana lifted one to rest on her girlfriend's back and let the other fall only slightly open so that her foot could run along Stella's side, giving her the additional contact she so clearly craved.

Lapping at her aimlessly until then, she felt the switch in Stella's behaviour as soft licks were replaced with more deliberate strokes. Stella dragged her wetness up to her clit and she let out a quiet whimper as the swollen bud was held between lips that felt so much stronger against her sex than they had against her own lips. But that was the point, Dana mused; submitting to a kiss and submitting to the task of making her come wouldn't be the same. Stella was doing as she was told in the best way possible.

"Good girl," she said softly.

Stella moaned again and she began to roll her hips, fucking her girlfriend's face with about as much care as she could. She didn't grind or forcefully demand more, she simply met Stella's attentive lips and tongue with what felt most natural to her. Her hands continued to fondly stroke through blonde hair and her eyes never once strayed from the brilliant woman between her thighs. Scratch that - the precious woman, the woman who was priceless and invaluable and would undoubtedly discount all words that Dana might come up with to describe her if they were said anywhere but right here and now.

Seizing on the moment, Dana chose to tell her as many of those words as she could think of before she inevitably succumbed to her mounting pleasure.

"You're incredible," she sighed on another rock of her hips, adding to her confessional praise with each contraction of her abdominal wall and each relaxed breath that escaped from her lips. "Amazing. Wonderful. Kind."

Her affections urged Stella on more than her physical reactions and the increasing pace on her clit, sucking and lapping in double time with the motion of her hips, meant that she was quickly running out of time. She searched her mind for other things to say but the heat brewing deep in her core was far too distracting.

"You," she tried as the last vestiges of self-control started to slip from her fingers. "You're... You're-"

Attempting to describe Stella with simple and impersonal phrases felt pitiful to her then - meaningless. What could she say with a single word that hadn't already been said so many times before? There was one thing, she thought, something that she'd said on countless occasions. But unlike vague appreciative descriptors and mindless compliments, it was the complete and utter truth, laid out and stripped of any window dressings. That truth would always bear repeating.

"You're..." The peak of her climax rushed towards her, but she managed to hold it back for just long enough. "You're loved."

A distant sound told her that the admission had been heard. It was a whiny, sensitive noise that spoke of understanding, belief, and Dana held onto it as she let herself go. The orgasm was softer than she'd anticipated, caressing her body like a warm but slow-moving tide on a sandy shore. Pleasure ebbed and flowed within her, licking at her mind and soul much like Stella had her clit, and she gave into it with her every fibre.

Pale blue watched her as she came back, unmoving but focused in on her intently. With a satisfied sigh, she reversed what she'd done to place Stella between her legs and together they untangled from one another. Her hands moved from soft, blonde hair to supple, blue leather and her heart moved at the full sight of her girlfriend's expression. Stella looked like she'd been drugged, or perhaps hypnotized. There was no real action on her face nor in the movements of her body, instead any changes came from pure reaction - submission in the truest manner for someone like her, and in that willing loss Dana found a greater sense of purpose for what would come next.

Dana had told Stella that she was loved, and that would surely happen again, but speech wasn't their only form of communication. In a way, for a pair of women who could both admit to struggling when trying to air their feelings, speech came second place to touch. Stella had expressed her love for Dana long before she'd ever dared say the words, and now looking back, Dana could see that she'd done quite the same.

Love was expressed slowly, in the coming together of two bodies that slotted against one another like they were designed to fit there; love was expressed urgently, in desperately eager kisses that were soon followed by tearing clothes and bruising grips; love was expressed painfully, in sorrow as tears were shed and comfort was found in the tender, fragile air left behind.

Desperation was for another day and fragility would surely come later, Dana was certain of that, but slow expression was what she sought now. She carefully pulled Stella closer to straddle her and sat back against the headboard, only letting go of the collar once her girlfriend's head was firmly resting against her shoulder. Her hands found the small of Stella's back and she held on for a second, and then a few more, before letting one hand slide around Stella's waist and dip towards her sex.

She didn't toy, she didn't tease, and she didn't give Stella anything but her very best. Her fingers stroked between her girlfriend's labia just enough to comfortably lubricate them before slipping inside, one soon followed by a second, and she moved them in a both predictable and pleasurable rhythm. She curled her fingers at their furthest depth to stroke Stella's front wall and she used her palm to stimulate her clit without ever becoming rough or hurried. This was love in as simple a form as she could package it.

Stella leant into the crook of her neck, smearing traces of her own arousal across her skin from where it had coated the blonde's lips. Dana could feel an arm dangling passively against her side and suddenly she wanted more.

"Hold me," she whispered, saying it as much for herself as she was for Stella.

They fumbled briefly, getting caught up in one another before settling again in a new embrace. Stella remained in her lap, straddling her upper thighs and leaning into her with their chests pressed together, but her own arm had moved up so that her hand left her girlfriend's back and instead cradled the nape of her neck, splaying fingers across her so that they spanned from messy blonde curls down to warm leather. In turn, Stella's arms slotted into the spaces left behind. Where Dana's arm was low to keep fingering her, her arm was up high to drape over the redhead's shoulder, where Dana's other arm was up to protectively cradle her, hers was down low to wrap around the redhead's waist and hold on tight.

Dana tipped her head down and to the side, speaking against Stella's jaw, uncaring if the words came out muffled. "Thank you, honey. You're being so good for me. I love you."

She smiled at the lack of any reply, realising that it would only come about if she asked for it. But that wasn't what she wanted to come - or rather, who she wanted to come. The pace of her fingers quickened, earning a throaty whimper, and Stella's body trembled against her in anticipation.

It wasn't long before she got what she was after, feeling Stella's inner walls tighten around her fingers as shuddered moans and gasping breaths warmed the side of her neck. The waves crashed through them both whilst she led her girlfriend through the climax and out the other side. Somehow, it felt better than her own had. There was something so incredibly intimate about being the sole driving force behind Stella's pleasure and she relished the unique opportunity, certain that no one else had ever been given such a gift.

Her fingers slipped out of Stella and it was at that point that she made her only real mistake thus far. Her intent had been to move them both down the bed so that they could lie comfortably whilst Stella got her bearings, but the problem was that she hadn't communicated the idea. Stella panicked as soon as she moved, managing to hold her even tighter and letting out a surprised sob at what probably felt like Dana trying to separate them.

"Shhh," she soothed, cursing herself internally all the while. "You're okay. Everything's okay. I just thought you might be more comfortable if we lie down. I'm sorry for not explaining what I was doing."

Stella was practically a dead weight on top of Dana as she slid down the bed, and she had to move Stella's knees out from underneath her in order to help her lie down. But they managed to get there in the end. A passing thought about pulling the covers up to make her girlfriend feel more secure was set aside as soon as she realised it would involve moving again. She'd been right to consider aftercare even more important than usual today, and Stella's current demeanor made her take it a step further by temporarily taking off the pressure of any decisions whatsoever.

"I'm staying right here with you until you're ready to get up, take as long as you need. Then we're going to have a bath because I know it'll help you relax."

Not really giving her a chance to question what was said, Dana held her close and gave her time to process her feelings. From an entirely physical perspective, this was the least intense scene they'd tried so far. But emotionally, Dana knew that she was more thrown than ever. Being collared and controlled in such a rawly psychological manner was always bound to affect her deeply, and the fact that she'd not just consented to but asked for the whole thing probably added to whatever internal conflicts she must've been having.

Ever so slowly, Dana could feel her starting to adjust. She was still sensitive and clearly very emotional, understandably so, but she was beginning to react to the redhead's hands on her skin and the soft embrace she found herself trapped within.

"There's my girl," Dana whispered as her head barely lifted to make eye contact before falling back to where she was most comfortable. "Just let me know when you're ready."

Stella nuzzled into the crook of her neck once more and she let out a soft laugh at the affection, glad to see that her girlfriend's sensitive state wasn't yet souring. It was quite a while before they moved again, although Dana couldn't see the clock on the far wall from where she was lying, and she guessed it could've been anywhere from five to fifty minutes - not that it really mattered. She wasn't about to set a time limit on Stella's comfort.

"Can we have that bath now?" Stella didn't move that time, but her voice sounded reassuringly steady - if a little quiet.

Dana leant forward to kiss the top of her head. "Absolutely."

Together, they got up and headed for the bathroom. Stella followed her lead, taking her outstretched hand and walking a half-pace behind her. Dana looked back every few seconds, making sure that Stella was alright, but it quickly became apparent that much of the fog was yet to lift. Whilst Stella wasn't quite so submissive as she had been, she was still relying on Dana for a fair degree of guidance. Behind her eyes there looked to be a sort of hazy tranquility and Dana hoped that only the haziness would be soon to fade, though she didn't hold much stock in that hope. The collar was still snug around Stella's neck and she wondered when might be best for it to come off, realising as she did so that it was something they probably should've talked about beforehand.

Dana kept Stella's hand in her own whilst she got the bath ready, knowing how important physical contact was for her, and once the tub was full she let her get in first before climbing in behind her to pull her into another hug. The water splashed about as Stella turned onto her side, leaning further into the hug, and Dana cautiously eyed up the droplets that were settling on the collar.

"Would it be alright if I took the collar off? I don't know if it's bad for the leather to get wet."

"Mmhmm," Stella hummed against her collarbone, causing her to shiver from the slightly strange vibrations the noise produced.

She wiped her hands uselessly on the bath's edge, regretting leaving the towels out of reach, and undid the collar from around Stella's neck. The buckle was stiff from lack of use and she had to be careful not to hurt her girlfriend in the process, but she managed to get it off without incident and put it down on one of the shelves behind the bath.

As if in direct response to the collar coming off, and perhaps it was, she could immediately feel the change in Stella's mood. The hug went from nice to necessary and Stella's breathing got shakier with each passing second. She tightened her grip, holding the blonde firmly, but she wasn't really sure what else to do besides simply helping her through it.

Some horribly quiet minutes later, Stella braved a surprising question that brought tears to her eyes.

"Why does feeling loved hurt so badly?"

It wasn't asked in desperation and somehow that made it all the worse. Stella must've wanted Dana's opinion, having already resigned herself to the hurt.

"Maybe it reminds us of when we weren't loved," Dana offered, trying to help her by engaging even if she didn't particularly want to think about Stella hurting. "Maybe we only realise how bad the pain was when we have something to compare it to."

The blonde hummed again, this time in contemplation. "Or perhaps love is what creates a safe enough place in which to feel the pain - properly admit to it. Perhaps, without love, the pain of its absence is too much to fully contend with."

Stella went quiet again for a while, never leaving the safe embrace of her arms nor the apparent comfort of her chest, before speaking up again. "I'm sorry. On second thought, I realise that makes me sound like I didn't believe you loved me until today. I did. But I've never had so few distractions from it before. It was intense."

"I'm sorry if it was too much," she paused to kiss Stella's forehead, "but I'll never be sorry for loving you."

"Nor would I want you to be. Just stay here with me whilst I try to remember that the world extends beyond our relationship."

She rested her chin on Stella's cheek and thought back on their evening, running it through in her mind and committing herself to the realisation that it had been an important step, even with the ensuing pain. "I'm not so sure there is a world outside of us, but I'm not going anywhere either way."

Notes:

this fic originally started off the back of wanting to write a 'collar' fic, and I guess it all sort of spiralled from there haha. this chapter follows none of the original plan for that one and ended up being far more romantic than anticipated, but I'm kind of happy with how it turned out.

stella's a slut for dana, dana's a slut for emotional breakthroughs, and i'm a slut for ending chapters mid-conversation.

Chapter 10: Rope

Notes:

I missed a week because life, but regular updates are back with this unnecessarily wordy piece of smut (I tried to cut it down but it just got longer, my bad).

"I got you something."

Stella turned over her book and set it in her lap before she glanced up, finding Dana standing by the other end of the sofa. In her hands was a parcel that looked to have been opened before having its contents hastily shoved back inside. The light brown jiffy bag gave little away, but Stella thought she could see something in her girlfriend's expression that might've been a clue.

"Christmas in July? How apropos."

After picking her book back up, she marked her page and put it out of the way on the coffee table. Dana stepped forwards and she took the parcel only to receive a knowing smile alongside it. Between that and the glint already evident in the redhead's eyes, she wasn't sure she'd have to open it to know what it was. But she wanted to open it anyway, mainly because - if it was what she hoped - then she didn't imagine she'd be spending much more of the evening on her book.

Putting a hand inside the envelope, she pulled out a black velvet bag, held closed by a drawstring. The packaging was discarded beside her as she held the bag, feeling for what might be inside and shooting her girlfriend another curious look.

She opened it to find two thick strips of padded leather, adorned with buckles and d-rings, as well as a thinner piece that had clips at each end. They were the same deep teal as her collar but clearly designed to withstand a greater deal of force. A double row of lighter blue stitches secured the outer layer to the inner padded layer, holding between them the various hardware on which she could see her blurry reflection in the flat side of a gold-plated buckle. The connecting piece had been stitched in a similar fashion, securing the attached clips, and it remained unyielding when she tested it by pulling on either end.

"They match my collar," she said, feeling her thoughts race too fast to come up with anything besides a simple observation.

"My collar," Dana corrected. "I think the colour looks good on you, and now I won't have to worry so much about hurting your wrists."

Stella bit back her own feelings on the matter, knowing that Dana's concern trumped her own enjoyment of the mild friction burns she'd been left with last time. But much like these cuffs might've eased her girlfriend's mind, the belt they'd used before had done the same to her. It could be used for other things -  for instance, the very thing it was designed for - but these cuffs had one purpose and one purpose only. She couldn't deny to herself why Dana had bought them, nor why she was already stroking her thumb over one of the pieces of leather and imagining how they might feel when wrapped around her wrists.

"Your collar," she repeated for want of something more eloquent - more revealing as to her state of mind, which she knew Dana was quite deliberately refraining from asking about.

Being given the chance to process how she felt was calming in itself; it was yet another reminder that she was right to trust Dana with these things. A 'no' on her part would be accepted as easily as a 'yes', and she knew that neither answer had to come immediately. But she wanted to answer the unspoken question, because the sooner she did so, the sooner she could get to trying them out.

"I like them," she whispered, looking at the cuffs in order to avoid looking at her girlfriend. "When are you planning on using them?"

"I was going to let you decide."

Dana sat down next to her, moving the packaging out of the way and leaning in to wrap an arm around her shoulders. Almost without thinking, she curled herself into the side hug, resting her head on Dana's shoulder and turning her body until they were leaning against one another. Her eyes didn't lift from the leather cuffs and she could feel her heart beginning to race as her internal conflict between enthusiasm and personal shame reared its ugly head.

On the one hand, enthusiasm had been the right call every time thus far; Dana had only ever responded positively and Stella wasn't entirely sure why she was having this conversation with herself, given the fact that Dana had bought the cuffs in the first place. Liking them clearly wouldn't be considered a bad thing. But on the other hand, who was she to even want this? In admitting to her enthusiasm, she was also admitting to this side of herself that she wasn't yet fully sure of. Her confidence had been slowly building, but the intensity with which she'd submitted last time was still very much in the back of her mind.

She could reason with herself, she could tell herself that - if their positions were reversed - she would never judge Dana for any of this. But personal justifications only went so far when she knew what would come of anyone else finding out. It was unrealistic to think that knowledge of her bedroom proclivities wouldn't impact her work life; what her colleagues already knew had damned her in their minds more than once. There was no reason for them to find out, after all, it wasn't as if Dana was going to tell them. But just the thought of it was enough to make her hesitate.

However, Dana's hand rubbing back and forth across her shoulder blade as well as the clear lack of either expectation or judgement were making for some rather persuasive counter arguments. Besides, if the intensity of last time was really what had gotten her so worried, then she tried to remind herself how much better she'd felt afterwards. It had been emotionally tiring, but cathartic too, and if her girlfriend could weather that then this surely wasn't that much further a step.

"Tonight?" she asked quietly.

"Okay. Now or later?"

She took a deep breath and finally lifted her gaze, having to tip her head back so that she could look up into Dana's eyes without moving from the comforting rest of her shoulder. What met Stella was a mirror image of how she imagined her own eyes might look, though perhaps an image that was a little more subdued, and that shared hint of excitement helped to build her nerve.

"Now?"

"I thought you'd say that," Dana chuckled and pulled her closer. "You look like you want me to drag you to bed."

Her lips parted on a silent, unconscious gasp as she took in the idea. Stella could see it now, picturing the smirk that would inevitably appear on Dana's face, the rough grip that she would be held with, and the missteps and slight stumbles that would befall them whilst they were held captive by their own eager natures.

Making a try for defiance, or at least a try for some unearned and not completely believed self-confidence, she stared deep into her girlfriend's vibrant blue eyes. "I like the sound of that."

"Come on then."

Even though she'd basically asked for it, Stella was nevertheless taken by surprise when Dana abruptly stood up. The cuffs and connector were snatched out of her hands and she barely had a chance to think before she was being hauled up by the front of her shirt. Once she was standing, Dana let go of her now crumpled and stretched t-shirt to instead grab one of her wrists, holding her tight enough for her hand to start going numb.

She ticked off the features of this little power display in her head as they went upstairs, taking a small amount of pride in having accurately predicted everything from Dana's smirk to the moment they both tripped on the last step. But she couldn't focus on it for long after she was pulled into their bedroom.

Sat at the end of their bed was a coil of rope. Whatever it was made out of looked soft and it was a similar colour to her collar and cuffs - if a bit off-shade due to the different material.

"That's not for today." Dana let go of her to drop the cuffs on the bed and pick up the rope, moving to put it away somewhere in the chest of drawers. "I just bought it at the same time. We don't have to use it."

"Stop," she requested as gently as possible, reaching out in the hope that it would be passed over to her.

Stella didn't want to say anything too demanding because the forceful trip upstairs had already kickstarted her more submissive tendencies, but seeing the rope in Dana's hands had jolted her brain into a minefield of fantasies. Most of all, she wondered what her girlfriend might've been fantasising about when making the decision to buy it. Did Dana want her tied up and helpless? Forced to spread her legs? Decorated with a rope harness? She didn't know, but she wanted to find out.

After taking a second to watch Stella's face and assess her expression, Dana handed over the rope. It was as soft as it looked, perhaps made of silk, and she ran one of the loose ends between her fingers whilst giving in to all of the lurid images that had suddenly taken up residence in her mind. She couldn't be sure of Dana's thoughts, but she was certain of her own. Their bed had short posts at either end corner, and she quickly realised how easy it would be to get tied down to each one. Or maybe she could kill two birds with one stone, trying out her new cuffs and having them tied to her collar with rope so that any sudden movements would leave her gasping for air.

Softer scenes were nice in their own way, but the only softness she wanted tonight was the touch of Dana's hands wrapping her body in rope.

"Can we?" she asked with as few words as possible.

Looking away from the rope, she saw Dana going through one of the bedside drawers. Her girlfriend glanced up at her, freezing momentarily from apparent surprise at the request, and a familiar warmth spread across her cheeks as she waited for an answer.

"If you want, honey."

"I do," she said before pulling a face at the phrase and hearing Dana laugh. "It's the wrong colour for that anyway, surely it should be white for a wedding?"

"That's only the dress, not what's underneath."

"Who's to say I'd be wearing anything underneath?"

She cast her eyes back to the rope as their conversation lulled. It sounded playful and meaningless, but ultimately she knew that there really was a layer of meaning hidden deep within their banter. They'd never talked much of future plans beyond living together, but although she'd never been particularly taken with ideas of grand or luxurious weddings, she had made a point of telling Dana that she wasn't completely against the whole notion. Marriage in and of itself held little appeal, but marriage to Dana was another story - one that wasn't to be told now, but was to be kept as a wishful and not unrealistic thought for the future.

Purging those thoughts from the forefront of her mind, Stella watched whilst her girlfriend found whatever it was that she'd been looking for. Stella's collar, her collar, whosever it was, sat in her hand.

"Do you want to wear it tonight?"

She nodded immediately, feeling her breathing pick up just from seeing it. She'd only worn it once but Stella already knew that she would never forget how it felt. She had found escape in confinement, freedom in surrender, and a depth of love in Dana's heart that had shaken her to her very core. Although the collar wasn't the be-all and end-all of submission, it had felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders at the first touch of leather to her throat. That weight had most likely played a large part in her post-scene crash, but being a touch more prepared would hopefully aid in avoiding that, and even if the crash would always be the price she had to pay, she considered it worth the cost.

Perhaps the mitigations could start now; she could already think of a few things that might make the end of the scene easier, and she knew that Dana would be more than happy to implement anything that would make the experience better for her.

"Can you not be so nice to me tonight?" She stepped forwards at the same time as Dana, meeting her in the middle of the room and wrapping both arms around her neck. "Last time was intense, and not in a bad way, but I don’t think I can always cope with that - only sometimes."

Dana threw the collar onto the bed and Stella realised that she was still holding the coil of rope, leaving it dangling behind her girlfriend's back, but she chose not to move it when Dana's arms tightly encircled her waist.

"Sure, but what does that look like? Have you got anything in mind?"

She smiled as Dana reacted exactly how she'd expected her to, feeling the slight tension she'd built up in her own body begin to dissipate. "I don't really know. For want of a better explanation: less cerebral, more spanking?"

Giggling at her suggestion, Dana broke into a grin. "Got it."

Rather suddenly, she was turned and shoved backwards until her legs hit the edge of the bed. Dana let go of her waist and gave her chest a push, watching intently as she fell back onto the bed. No sooner had she managed to lift up onto her elbows than Dana was climbing on top of her and forcing her down to lie flat on the mattress.

"Is this what you wanted?" the redhead whispered, leaning down over her and talking almost directly into her ear.

The inconsistent build up from first opening the parcel downstairs had left her more than ready, and she slipped into her role with ease.

"Yes, Dana."

Her clothes were whipped off in record time and she barely had a chance to make a whiny protest about her girlfriend's still clothed state before Dana was dressed down to her underwear and quickly clambering back on top. Stella had barely noticed it whilst lost in her own thoughts, but she clearly wasn't alone in her brewing anticipation.

Dana picked up the rope from where she must've dropped it onto the edge of the bed, not that she'd been aware of much besides her girlfriend's sudden forcefulness, and it was moved out of the way to one side. Then the collar came into view; sitting up to straddle her waist, Dana held it with both hands and looked down at her questioningly.

"I'll ask you again. Do you want to be collared tonight?"

"Yes, please." She nodded as she spoke, knowing that her hair would be a frizzy mess after rubbing it against the sheets but uncaring for now.

"Sit up."

She sat up beneath her girlfriend, tipping her head back and resting her chin on Dana's chest between the cups of her bra. The backs of the redhead’s thighs were as smooth and warm as ever, but normally Stella was holding them in preparation for a slightly different activity. She wondered if Dana would give her a chance to reciprocate tonight, but the thought was fleeting whilst she was held captive by the energy that sparked between them.

The leather was softer this time, having already begun to curl into shape after just one wear, and she tensed the muscles in her neck to feel it press into her skin before relaxing again. It was a physical reminder of trust, not only the trust that she had in her girlfriend but the trust Dana had in her too. She wanted to give up control, and Dana trusted her to be honest about that to the best of her abilities.

"Thank you, Dana," she hummed happily.

"For what? For collaring you?"

"No." She pressed her cheek against Dana's chest and shook her head, closing her eyes to focus simply on the feeling of her girlfriend's body against her skin. "Thank you for trusting me."

Dana laughed gently and stroked a hand through her hair, holding her close. "If you don't want me to get all soft on you then you can't say stuff like that."

"Sorry, Dana." She didn't really mean it.

"It's alright, honey. But if you want to be spanked, you need to give me a reason to spank you."

Heaving an overdramatic sigh, Stella pulled away from the warmth of her body and looked up at her face. "Then I'm not sorry."

"That's a start," Dana laughed again.

She straightened her back out and stretched her neck, gaining as much height as she could whilst puckering her lips expectantly. Dana rolled her eyes but leant down to kiss her, pulling away after only a few seconds, and she huffed as soon as it was over.

"Oh, so you want me to just sit here kissing you? I thought you wanted to be fucked."

The sudden shift in tone made her eyes widen and she floundered for a response before giving up entirely, resigning herself to the lighthearted teasing. In lieu of an answer, she let her chin droop, dropping her gaze to her own eye level and pulling Dana back in by her thighs. Stella kissed a path along her skin, trailing just below the band of her bra and following it until she couldn't reach any further. Then she moved lower, alternating between kissing and leaning against her stomach whilst Dana's hand found its way back into Stella's hair.

The mood shifted yet again when she reached her navel; a brief dart of Stella's tongue earned a giggle and she felt Dana pause right as she did the same, both women mentally checking themselves for letting the evening turn soft once more. Dana tugged at her hair, forcing her to lean back, and she waited for more with heavy breaths and an eager attitude.

"Do you want to be on your back or your stomach?"

Her first thought was to lie on her back, giving her ample view of whatever Dana planned to do to her. But she didn't need to see it, she just needed to feel it, and there were certain things she would rather like to feel that couldn't happen if she was on her back. As if reading her thoughts, or perhaps simply reading her expressions, Dana's lips curled into a knowing smirk.

"Do you want to answer, honey? Or should I decide?"

Her fingers clenched against the flesh of Dana's thighs and her heart raced as she nodded, feeling a slight pain in her scalp from her girlfriend's tight grip.

Dana sat to one side and pushed her up the bed until she was turned the right way, then quickly flipped her over to land on her stomach with a groan, expelling the air from her lungs. Stella felt like she was sinking into the bed whilst it happened. The feeling of being so roughly and decisively positioned gave her permission to let it happen, to bear witness to Dana's more possessive qualities, and to relax whilst she was given as much as was taken from her.

"Arms up."

She dragged her arms up the bed, already feeling somewhat physically weak as a result of her mental state. Using as much energy as she could muster, she turned and lifted her head to watch the first cuff get wrapped around her wrist. The leather was cold, much colder than her collar now that she'd been wearing it for a few minutes, and the cuff felt stiff and restrictive on her arm - not that those were bad things to feel.

Rather than bothering to watch the second one, she rested her cheek on the pillow that Dana had deliberately centred beneath her head. Even whilst restraining her, there was such a clear level of precision and care to the way her girlfriend treated her, and it touched her heart. She could be left with marks, bruises, tears, exhaustion, and still come away from the experience feeling loved absolutely.

"Comfy?" Dana interrupted her thoughts, lifting one of her arms by a cuff before letting go so that it dropped back to the bed.

"Comfy enough."

Dana laughed, "Alright then."

Her hands were pulled up to the headboard and she heard the clips on the connector squeak as they were attached to the rings on either cuff. Once Dana let go, she tested the restraints by trying to pull her arms down and couldn't stop the low, satisfied sound that escaped her lips when the cuffs rattled but didn't give way.

"You look beautiful, honey." Dana bent down beside her head and brushed her hair out of her face. "Collared and cuffed to our bed, waiting for me to fuck you. I like it."

"Thank you, Dana."

"So polite. I thought you didn't want to behave today?"

Stella wasn't entirely sure what she wanted; from one moment to the next, her desires rapidly changed.

"Safe word?" Dana asked whilst reaching over her to rifle through the bedside drawer, retrieving a pair of scissors and grabbing the coil of rope with her other hand.

"Flower."

"Good girl."

She couldn’t deny that she liked the praise, but as Dana shuffled down the bed to begin tying her ankles, she decided to do whatever felt like the exact opposite of that which would result in further praise, curious to see how Dana would react. Behaving as requested came naturally to her, in these scenarios at least, but disobedience might be the thing to push them into the rougher territories that she’d been hoping to explore.

“Hey,” Dana said as she dragged her leg up the bed, slipping the unsecured rope from around her ankle. “Stop that."

But when Dana took a firmer hold on her calf and tried to tie the rope a second time, she pulled her leg up beneath herself, half-kneeling on one shin so that her leg was folded beneath her chest. The move spread her thighs, exposing her sex to the cool air of their bedroom and making her realise just how wet she was already.

“Get back here.”

Holding onto the strip of leather between her cuffs, she used her core muscles to curl in on herself as best she could, stopping Dana from pulling her leg back down the bed.

“No,” she whispered, finding that misbehaving physically seemed a lot easier than misbehaving verbally.

“What did you say?” Dana abandoned the rope to straddle her ass, leaning down over her shoulder and pulling her head up by her hair. “Go on. Look me in the eye and repeat what you just said.”

There was a mild sense of anger behind her girlfriend’s words and she felt her cheeks flush yet again at the pulsing heat in her sex, loving the slight aggression. Dana’s body rested on her back and she relished the tight stretch that ran down both of her thighs due to the added weight.

“No, Dana.”

“Fine,” the redhead growled, abruptly letting go of her hair so that her head dropped back down to the pillow. “If you want to be on your knees that badly.”

Before she could think about what would happen next and decide how to react, Dana had moved back to sit behind her and grabbed her other leg, the one still flat on the bed. Hands held onto her heel and the back of her knee, forcing her to bend her leg, and soon it was pushed beneath her to join the first. Her back protested for a second at the position she found herself in - ardha kurmasana, something she hadn’t done since a long ago Bikram yoga session - and she wiggled her hips until her legs setted beneath her and her muscles started to relax.

“Oh!”

She heard Dana laugh as the sound left her lips, caused by a sudden smack to her ass that Stella really should’ve been expecting. She had asked for it, after all.

A second spank quickly followed the first and it wasn’t long before she lost count, managing to relax into the rhythm only for Dana to then swiftly change tempo. The stinging slaps went from one cheek to the other, seemingly at random, and she couldn’t be sure of where she would feel her girlfriend’s hand next. The leather was tight around her wrists as she unconsciously yanked her arms back, trying both to escape and yet come closer; every part of her body was lit up with one sensation or another.

Aching stretches worked her muscles, not putting her under such pressure as to cause damage but pushing her just far enough to heighten everything else. Her arms flexed against their binds and one of her shoulders clicked painlessly when she turned her hand to get more purchase on the leather between her fingers. Her chest heaved whilst she tried to pull in more air but she was restricted by her legs, still pulled in tight beneath her and trembling from the strain of holding her in that position. Thankfully, her back had loosened considerably since she first lay down, so it easily weathered her shifting and squirming movements as she took each sharp strike.

Having apparently decided that Stella had been spanked enough for now, Dana slowed before stopping to simply hold one of her ass cheeks, tightening her grip until Stella hissed out a breath when nails dug into her sore flesh.

“I would tell you to stop being naughty or I’ll spank you again,” Dana sighed behind her, shuffling just close enough on her knees that Stella could feel them sat atop the pads of her toes. “But we both know you did that deliberately. It’s why I didn’t give you a warning, you would’ve misbehaved anyway.”

Dana laughed when she quickly nodded in agreement, restrained physically but released emotionally by a heady rush of endorphins. They left her able to admit to what she was doing without her usual level of personal concern. Her chin dug into her upper arm as she moved her head, resting on one cheek so that she could still breathe, and the confinement muffled her whimper when Dana surprised her with one last spank.

“Will you start being a good girl again now?”

Her best - yet still rather feeble - attempt at a shrug earned her another laugh, heartier this time, and she smiled against her arm, realising that her eyes must’ve fallen closed at some point but feeling too far gone to bother trying to remember when.

“Not sure, huh? Well it doesn’t really matter, I’m tying you up either way.”

Stella felt Dana bend down again, draping herself over the blonde’s back, and the lacy fabric of her underwear brought about a conflicting sensation. Against the unmarked skin of Stella’s back, the lace brushed gently, dragging more firmly in places where it covered her hardened nipples. But whilst made of much the same material, her panties were coarse and uncomfortable on the sensitive skin of Stella’s ass.

The whiny protests she muttered must’ve been more comprehensible to Dana than they had been to herself, but rather than solve the problem, they compounded it.

“Aww,” Dana cooed behind her ear, grinding slowly against her ass. “Are you sore, baby? You took that spanking so well, but I bet you’re feeling it now. You liked it though, I know you did. You’re making a mess already.”

After trailing gentle bites from the back of her neck, soft enough that they wouldn’t leave any marks, Dana bit her earlobe before whispering, “You’re so wet that you’ve made my thighs all sticky. If you weren’t cuffed to our bed, I’d make you lick me clean.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed mindlessly. The pain in her body was beginning to be overtaken by pleasure and she moved with her girlfriend as far as her position would allow, tensing her thighs to push up and follow the motion.

“I could cuff your hands behind your back while you’re kneeling on the floor, wrap your hair around my hand, and keep you there until I say you’re finished.”

Her reply was slightly dazed but mostly enthusiastic. “Yes, Dana.”

The redhead chuckled, “We can talk about it tomorrow when you’re not this turned on. For now though, I think I’ll keep you on your knees.”

Stella grumbled when Dana climbed off her to pick up the supplies that had been left at the end of the bed. It didn’t take long at all, but a large part of the security that she felt in her newfound subspace came from her girlfriend’s constant presence. Even seconds spent less than a metre away felt too long and too far from her.

“I haven’t done this before so bear with me, but I did some research.”

Dana knelt behind her again and pulled her up by her hips, straightening her out slightly so that her knees moved back on the bed to land directly below her pelvis, leaving her ass sticking up in the air and her chest pressed to the mattress.

“Ready?”

She heard a slight scuffling sound but couldn’t turn her head far enough to see what it was, leaving her to assume that Dana had picked up the coil of rope again.

“Yes, Dana.”

A thick band of rope was placed across her lower back; it must’ve been doubled over at least as it was thicker than the individual piece she’d held earlier, and she wondered just what it was that Dana was trying to do. The rope was then wrapped around her upper thighs and a hand was placed against the small of her back to push her into as deep an arch as was comfortable. Where the rope met at one side of her body, it was looped and fiddled with in a way that seemed to be successful, but she only guessed that by the lack of frustrated grumbles and sighs that Dana usually made when things weren’t going to plan - be it in any area of her life, not just the bedroom.

Strangely enough for someone so attached to control, it didn’t for one second concern Stella that she didn’t entirely know what was happening. Perhaps it was due to everything that had already happened this evening, preparing her psychologically for this new experience. Or maybe it was because she’d already known the rope was coming - asked for it, in fact - even if she hadn’t known quite how it would be used.

Whatever the cause, the only thing she truly needed to know was that she trusted her girlfriend. Her safe word lingered in the back of her mind, not because she wanted to use it, but instead as a reminder that she could say it if needed. She knew without question that it would be listened to, and she also knew that she could ask Dana to pause and explain her plan without truly having to stop anything.

When the rope was in the right place, or at least when Dana stopped repositioning it, she began to work out the idea. Some of the excess was threaded between her stomach and the front of her thighs before being pulled tight, effectively cutting the main loop in half around her body. That left a double column tie that held her waist in one side and her thighs in the other, forcing her to stay bent over with an arch to her back and combining with the cuffs around her wrists to keep her trapped on her knees.

“Does that feel okay?” Dana asked whilst slipping a finger beneath each section of the rope in turn and making sure that Stella wasn’t too constricted.

She’d already felt a bit light-headed in her last position, and this one made her dizzier still. Where she was restrained, her pulse pounded deep in her veins and the thudding beats lulled her further into bliss. Unless she used her safe word, there was absolutely no way to get out of this, and she found herself loving the emotional release that it gave her. She was collared, cuffed, and tied up, yet she’d never felt more free.

“Yes, Dana,” she replied on a deep exhale, breathing out the last few stressors that had plagued her mind.

“Good. Tell me if that changes. Ideally, I’ll untie you, but I can cut through the rope instead if you need to be let out faster.”

“Yes, Dana.”

Hearing a laugh behind her, she tried to turn her head again and was quickly confronted with just how secured she was. The rope around her waist and thighs stopped her from twisting to either side and all she could do was kneel there - waiting for her girlfriend to do something, anything, to her.

“Yes, Dana. No, Dana,” the redhead teased. “I'm getting sick of my own name. Try something else, honey.”

“Oh,” she hesitated, trying to will her brain into working properly. Although the situation made it harder to think, she was glad that Dana was asking her this now rather than whilst they weren’t in a scene. Embarrassment would’ve made it even harder, and there was little she would’ve found more embarrassing than thinking up a domme name for her girlfriend without the immediate gratification of being dominated.

“Mistress?” she offered before striking it out herself, deciding that it sounded too formal for her tastes. “Not that one. Ma’am? No, too many people call me that at work. Miss?”

Stella thought back to the last time she’d called anyone ‘Miss’. The name felt natural to her, and even subspace couldn’t stop a small amount of embarrassment seeping through when she remembered calling teachers by it in secondary school. When not using their full surnames, they’d all been referred to simply by either ‘Miss’ or ‘Sir’, and her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink as she considered the fact that her attraction to authority hadn’t necessarily started with Dana.

Her girlfriend stroked a hand across her ass and she wiggled her hips, desperate to be praised but more desperate for the hand on her ass cheek to drop further down, feeling any slight movements in her legs travel straight to her sensitive, sorely unattended sex.

“I like that, baby. Let’s test it out. Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Yes, Miss- Ah!” she yelped when Dana spanked her. The pain radiated through her already sore ass.

“Be polite about it.”

Her words were whinier this time. “Please, Miss.”

“Good girl,” Dana praised over the unwittingly loud moan she released when she was suddenly entered with two fingers.

The intrusion was unexpected but appreciated and the lengthy build up she’d been put through meant her body quickly adjusted. Dana’s fingers curled and stroked along her front wall, scissoring as they moved, and she turned her face towards the pillow beneath her to drown out some of the whimpered sounds of pleasure that she was otherwise helpless to stop.

“Can I add something else?” Dana asked rather cryptically.

“Yes, Miss." She didn’t know what was meant by the question but she didn’t really care, trusting her girlfriend to keep to things she’d already agreed to.

“Fuck,” she cried out into the pillow when Dana leant over towards the bedside table, thrusting her fingers deep inside her in the process.

Stella’s cuffs rattled against the headboard whilst she squirmed and she yanked her arms back again so that the leather was as snug on her wrists as the rope was around her back and thighs. A gulped intake of breath tightened the collar around her throat and she shifted her head forwards on the pillow to feel it push the collar's d-ring against her skin, imagining the shallow indents that she would be left with for a while after they were done.

A distant buzzing sound brought her ever so slightly back from the brink. “Shit.”

“Language,” Dana chastised with a laugh.

Using her free hand, Dana pressed a vibrator to Stella’s clit, slotting it into the small gap between her vulva and the band of rope around her upper thighs so that it was wedged firmly and no longer had to be held there. Both the rope’s position and its taut grip on her meant that she couldn’t get away from the vibrations if she tried, and all her wriggling movements did was rock the vibrator against her swollen bud.

“You look good enough to eat. Actually...”

She moaned again when Dana bent down behind her, gently leaning on the fingers in her cunt and making them feel even thicker inside her. When a third was added, she was about to make yet more satisfied noises - until they were cut off by a silent gasp.

Her girlfriend’s tongue was something she’d felt countless times before, but never had she felt it quite where it skated across her skin now. Dana licked at her entrance, swirling around the base of her own fingers, and then dragged up, going higher and taking Stella with her as the strange feeling of a warm, wet tongue against her asshole slowly started to feel good.

“Ohh,” she breathed.

Dana’s tongue never went so far as entering her, yet she soon felt a spread of heat drifting out from her core, travelling down her extremities that tingled not from cut-off circulation by her restraints but instead from the overwhelming arousal that was flooding her body. Her toes curled and her thighs trembled as all of the sensations her girlfriend was forcing on her brought her that much closer to climax.

When it did finally arrive, it somehow still managed to surprise her. Stella’s cries took on a stereotypically feminine, high-pitched fashion and she couldn’t care less whilst waves of pleasure wracked her every fibre. The orgasm was long and drawn-out, most likely due to a combination of the vibrator that carried on buzzing against her clit and the relentless nature of her girlfriend’s continued ministrations, and she surrendered to it completely.

Shushing her moans-turned-oversensitive-whimpers, Dana switched off the vibrator and slipped it out from between her legs before slowly untying her, pausing every now and then to massage where the rope had sat on her skin. As soon as she was left to hold herself up, Stella collapsed down onto the bed. Her eyes remained closed and her head stayed sunk into the pillow whilst her girlfriend worked around her. Her cuffs were taken off, her wrists checked for damage, but the collar was kept on as it had been last time.

“Come here, honey,” Dana whispered, lying down on her back next to Stella and wrapping an arm around her shoulders to pull her sideways.

She leant into the hug, but soon stopped to protest Dana’s lack of nudity, feeling the hard underwire of her girlfriend’s bra against the side of her own chest. Dana rolled awkwardly towards her in order to take it off and Stella muttered a vague attempt at a, “thanks,” before cuddling into her side when they relaxed back down on the bed. A part of her also wanted to complain about Dana’s panties, but she couldn’t find it in herself to move again quite yet.

With her climax fading fast on the horizon, the haziness that enshrouded her mind was clearing. She wasn’t quite out of subspace, but her thoughts were a little sharper and her emotions were less all-encompassing than they had been.

Raising herself up to lean on her forearm above Dana’s shoulder, Stella looked down at her and stroked her free hand across the redhead’s midriff, trailing it up towards her chest and then back down over her navel.

“Do you want to stop now?” she asked quietly, still needing her girlfriend’s direction. “Or can I...”

“Can you what?”

Dana smiled when she huffed in frustration, clearly pleased at being so very able to get a rise out of her.

She knew what she wanted, and she knew exactly how to get it, but asking for anything became a lot harder when she had to look at Dana whilst she did so. Her girlfriend’s eyes were an unforgiving shade of blue, but that wasn’t quite the truth, and she knew it. Dana was more forgiving than most, and regardless, she had nothing to be forgiven for. She just felt like she did.

Breathing in deeply, she committed herself to saying the thing that would please Dana more than anything else, even if it filled her with nerves just to think about.

“Please can I make you come, Miss?”

For a brief, terrifying moment, Dana’s smile faded. Stella wondered if she’d taken it too far, if her girlfriend was regretting ever trying this, or if the picture of her - an accomplished, middle-aged woman asking a question like that - was simply too ludicrous to ever find enjoyable.

But what replaced Dana’s happy, teasing energy wasn’t something bad. No, in fact, it was quite the opposite. Her eyes lit up with excitement and Stella was pressed close enough to her chest to feel her pulse jump.

“You’re so hot. I just- I needed to tell you that.” Dana shook her head and scoffed at her own enthusiasm. “Of course you can, honey. As long as I get to return the favour.”

She gave her girlfriend a shy smile. “Yes, Miss.”

Dana lifted a hand to the side of her face, cautiously stroking her cheek, before pulling her down into a kiss and speaking against her parted lips. “I knew you’d end up being a good girl for me.”

Swallowing her breathy noise of agreement, Dana kept hold of Stella’s face whilst slipping her other arm down from the blonde’s shoulders and pushing it between their bodies. Her hand followed a similar path to that which Stella’s had taken on her stomach, stroking softly and leaving goosebumps in its wake. The closeness of their bodies didn’t make for the easiest access, but Dana seemed determined to keep her as near as possible, and she was hardly about to complain.

“You can touch me,” Dana said, practically talking into her mouth. “You’re allowed to, I promise.”

After skimming her fingertips across the waistband of her panties, Stella slid her fingers beneath the fabric and inhaled sharply at the wetness that coated them, swiping through the physical embodiment of everything her girlfriend must’ve been feeling whilst tying her up and fucking her.

Dana giggled almost self-consciously at her reaction. “I told you you’re hot.”

“But- But.” Her brain nearly malfunctioned. “You really... You really like me being submissive?”

It was somehow both the most sobering and yet also the sexiest thing she’d ever heard when Dana snorted in response to the question. Sobering because it was loud, abrupt, and directly in front of her face; but sexy because it was honest, comforting, and completely unguarded. With that simple - if unexpected - noise, she was told all she needed to know about Dana’s opinion.

“Are you kidding?” Dana said anyway, not privy to the workings of her mind. “I love it when you’re in charge too but - fuck, Stel - seeing you like this is something else. And maybe I’m just being territorial but I love being the only person that gets this side of you."

“You can be territorial,” she admitted quietly - strangely quietly given how upfront the rest of their conversation was. “I like it when you are.”

“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t say that. It makes me want to do all kinds of things to you.” To punctuate the comment, Dana chose that moment to lower her hand from Stella’s navel and gently push two fingers inside her.

Bracing through an initial pang of oversensitivity, Stella gave into the slow thrusts and followed suit, running her own fingers between her girlfriend’s labia before cautiously pressing inside her. She didn’t start with two, only one, but the second soon followed when Dana’s hips started rolling to push her finger deeper.

“Stay like that,” Dana whispered against her lips. “Don’t speed up. I’m closer than you are.”

She didn’t stop to question how in tune her girlfriend was to her body; whilst the rest of the scene might’ve been rather new, that shared wavelength certainly wasn’t. Instead she kept going as requested, plunging her fingers deep before pulling them back out and repeating the motion, hearing a slight squishing sound as she did so that was muffled through the damp fabric of her girlfriend’s underwear.

The distraction of trying to maintain an exact speed and rhythm left Stella unprepared for the orgasm that began to creep up on her. It snuck in like a miscreant, carried surreptitiously on the back of Dana’s precise movements, and it was almost on top of her by the time she heard a muttered, “Faster.”

Her fingers picked up their pace and her palm pressed against Dana’s clit whilst the rest of her body collapsed against Dana’s side, giving up on looking down over her girlfriend to instead lean cheek-to-cheek beside her head and feel the muscles in one side of her face tense slightly as their climaxes overtook them both.

The hand that had held firm on her cheek moved with her, slipping round to the back of her neck and tugging lightly on the collar so that it tightened around her throat once more. She whimpered breathlessly as the leather bit into her skin and felt her orgasm rise to shuddering heights, leaving Dana to moan next to her ear as her fingers shook slightly whilst still inside her girlfriend.

“Jesus,” she panted when they both started to come back down.

Stella pulled her hand out of Dana's underwear, leaving it limp on her stomach as she relaxed down fully against her. They both took the time to catch their breaths and she nuzzled into the crook of her girlfriend's neck out of habit.

“We definitely need a shower after that.”

“Bu-” she tried to interject.

“I know, honey,” Dana soothed with more decorum than she could understand given how overcome they’d been just a short time ago, lifting the hand that had been holding the collar to stroke the back of her head. “Not yet. I’ll stay right here holding you until you’re ready.”

She sighed happily when Dana moved both their bodies to wrap her up in a tight hug, intertwining their legs at the same time so that no part of her was left without the reassuring contact of her girlfriend.

“Thank you, Miss.”

Stella heard her chuckle at the name. “You’re welcome, baby. I love you.”

Notes:

I don't know how this ended on "I love you" when it's about cuffs, ropes, and spanking...

but, oh well.

Chapter 11: Free Use

Notes:

This chapter was initially going to be in two parts, but after seeing how short the first one was I decided to post them together. So it's sort of two separate scenes with a jump of a few days in the middle.

As soon as she'd been asked about doing this, Dana had immediately known where and when she hoped to first try it. But Stella had clearly wanted it to be unexpected, so she'd waited until the blonde's innate suspicion began to temper. Her DSI girlfriend wasn't the easiest person to take by surprise.

It wasn't a request Dana had been expecting, but she certainly wasn't going to complain about being given complete access to her girlfriend's body as and when she wanted it - within certain boundaries, of course, ones that they'd clearly defined with each other and all hinging on the condition that, if Stella used her safe word, they wouldn't just stop in the moment but would also reevaluate that overall permission. So when the thought had popped into her mind of the favourite view she got most mornings, it had felt like the perfect opportunity to try this new request out.

Her girlfriend, tired and usually only semi-dressed in a thick robe, had a habit of shuffling downstairs before her in a bid to ingest coffee as soon after waking up as physically possible. By the time Dana got down there, she normally came upon the blonde waiting impatiently by the kettle and leaning on the worksurface, which left her facing away from the door. What that meant was, on this particular morning, she could come up behind her and reach around to toy with the belt that held her robe closed.

"Morning," Stella sleepily muttered.

But talking wasn't necessarily part of the game that Dana wanted to play, so she said nothing, choosing instead to undo the belt's knot and slip both of her hands inside Stella’s robe to stroke across her midriff. Stella's response was a quiet sigh whilst her head tipped back to rest against the side of Dana's. She took it as a sign to continue.

After lazily sliding back and forth for a few moments, she moved her right hand, bringing it to Stella’s waist before travelling up to barely stroke the side of her breast. She then pressed harder with the hand still on her stomach, holding Stella back against her own body in order to keep still whilst she did as she liked. Her girlfriend was more pliable than she would've previously given her credit for and she relished the chance to simply feel her up without comment. It was an indulgence Dana couldn't remember asking her about before. She decided to bring it up later as something she might want to do more of.

Stella's breast was soft beneath her palm and she squeezed lightly, tilting her hand to further cup it and dragging her thumb across the hardening nipple at its peak. The touch earned Dana a quiet whimper and she suddenly felt the need to get a louder response. Her thumb made contact again, but this time she rolled the hardened bud between the pads of her thumb and index finger.

"Ohhh," Stella couldn't help but moan.

Smiling against the nape of her neck, Dana did it once and then twice more, changing from clockwise to counterclockwise and back again. Stella's hand brushed her side as it fell from the worksurface and Dana had to widen her stance to keep them steady, taking on some of her girlfriend's weight as she relaxed into her. The contact became firmer then, palming her breast as though she'd never felt her up before and moving across to the other to give it the same treatment. All the while, her left hand stayed where it was especially needed now, practically holding Stella up by her middle and keeping her as close as possible.

Seeing as this activity came with an element of surprise, she wanted to make sure that Stella was good and ready before venturing further south. There was no game of waiting, no mental warm up, and she didn't want to trail a hand down between her thighs before it would be met with a slick coating of arousal. But that didn't mean she couldn't clue her girlfriend into her plans in another way.

She chuckled at Stella's grumble when her hand moved away from her breast, but the discontented sound quickly died down when she presented her fingers directly in front of the blonde's mouth, curling them in silent direction. Stella licked at them obediently and she helplessly released her own quiet noise of satisfaction. Though she knew absolutely that desires in the bedroom didn't equate to one's standing in the wider world, she wasn't sure she'd ever get over seeing her fiery and brave detective so willing to do as she asked. It was the stuff of erotic dreams that she'd only recently begun to conjure up.

With her fingers still in her mouth, she shifted their combined weight to nudge her leg between Stella's thighs, shuffling them apart for access.

"Good girl," she whispered when Stella helped by tipping forwards and bracing her forearms on the worksurface.

Dana could feel the praise hit her system, quickly hearing her whimper around her fingers and feeling a shiver travel through her extremities. The words received a bigger reaction than normal and she noted it in the back of her mind for the future, hypothesising that the reaction had something to do with her lack of talking up until then.

Moving on, she slipped her fingers from the blonde’s mouth and dragged them down the centre of her chest, trailing saliva as she went. When one hand met the other on her stomach, she lifted the supporting hand and used it to fondle her unattended breasts. Stella's braced position meant the support was no longer needed and Dana became even more grateful for her willingness after realising that it left both hands free to play with her.

But, just as her right hand stroked the curve of Stella's hip, the kettle began to boil and turned itself off. Dana wasn't entirely sure that her girlfriend should be trusted with boiling water at this very moment and so she took it upon herself to stop what she was doing, lean over, and decant the water into the two awaiting mugs. Stella's annoyed groan only made her want to delay even longer, but soon enough the kettle, and her hands, were back where they belonged.

With one hand on her breast and the other dipping down to lightly stroke her sex, Dana stifled another smile against the back of her neck when Stella groaned. She needed to speed up, as much as she didn't want to, so that they were finished before their coffees grew cold. But that didn't stop her from teasing for a little longer, swiping a finger through her girlfriend's arousal before trailing back up to smear the wetness across her stomach and earning a more aggressive moan. Perhaps teasing was something else she wanted to do more of in the future.

She showed mercy then and relented, dropping her hand back to where it was most wanted. Stella was practically dripping onto her fingers and she decided that, if she got a chance to do this again - and she hoped she would - then she wanted the blonde bent over and ready to be eaten out from behind. Fingering her was nice, well it was more than nice, but tasting her was a damn sight better.

Getting back on track, she pushed her index finger into Stella’s cunt, grinning as her girlfriend made a desperate, whiny noise.

“Such a good slut,” she said, letting go of Stella’s breast to pull her robe down off one shoulder. “You’re letting me use you so nicely.”

To further prove her point - that she was using Stella when and how she wanted to, Dana raked her teeth across the blonde’s now exposed shoulder before biting down, making sure that she did it hard enough to leave a mark and appreciating the both pained and pleasured hiss of a reply. The bruise would be hidden beneath Stella’s work clothes, but Dana knew it was there, and that was what mattered. She knew that her girlfriend would go out into the world bearing marks that staked her claim, and she already wanted to leave more blooming shades across Stella’s skin.

However, before she did that, Dana had another idea. As she continued to slowly thrust her finger, she used her free hand to move one of Stella’s arms. After making sure that the blonde was stable, she pulled Stella’s hand back to hold the side of her thigh.

“Tap me if you can’t safe word.”

Stella gave her a cursory tap, confirming that the direction had been understood, and she quickly brought her own hand up to wrap around her girlfriend’s throat. Dana’s fingers searched for the safest points on either side and as soon as she found them, she pressed against the pulsing arteries and plunged a second finger into Stella at the exact same second.

“Ahh,” the blonde cried on a deep exhale as soon as she let go.

Repeating herself, she added a third sensation this time, giving Stella another bite whilst her fingers choked and thrusted as forcefully as she would dare attempt. Her body moved of its own accord, grinding herself against her girlfriend’s ass, and she followed Stella as they bent further over the worksurface.

“Ugh,” she groaned, feeling cum smear across her palm where it rested on Stella’s clit. “That’s it, baby. Come for me.”

It took one more rasping, shuddered breath as Dana’s hand tightened around her throat, but soon Stella was coming. Her body trembled and she let out a guttural moan before collapsing down against the surface below her, leaving Dana scrambling to let go before she really did choke herself.

“Lick me clean,” Dana demanded once her hands were free.

Stella lapped at her fingers as eagerly as she had earlier, perhaps even more so now that they were coated in her own arousal, and Dana stayed draped over her back until she was finished. After that, the redhead picked up one of the nearly forgotten mugs and headed off towards the living room.

She was trying to appear unphased, knowing that this was part of Stella's fantasy, but internally Dana was consumed by a frantic effort to timetable masturbation in between now and when she had to leave for work. Stella had reacted better than she could’ve ever imagined, but she found herself wishing that she’d focused some of that enthusiasm on her own arousal.

Oh well, she thought, watching as Stella walked into the room on shaky legs, there could always be a next time.

 

———

 

The book in Dana's hand could've been interesting, but she had no idea whether or not it was as her mind had been elsewhere entirely.

A few days earlier, they'd gone out for dinner to belatedly celebrate their anniversary. She'd spent enough time with Stella to know that the woman could wear just about anything and she would remain astounded, but that specific dress had done Dana in like no other. Pointed stilettos had meant that it didn't quite brush the floor and they had accentuated the expanse of her leg that could be seen through the slit that ran up to her midthigh. Green fabric so dark that it almost looked black had hugged her torso and been held up by the thinnest of straps over her shoulders, but from the waist down it was looser, shifting and catching the light with each movement such that it was hard to stop looking at her.

Dana hadn't seen the dress before and she now wondered if that was deliberate, a way to surprise her when the closeness of their day to day lives left few surprises to be had. Regardless of intent, the sight had been a rather pleasant surprise indeed, and one that she found herself thinking about near constantly ever since. The only thing better than the view had been getting to take it off as soon as they got home. She could almost still hear the soft thud of the dress hitting the floor, and she could definitely still picture the revealed strapless bra and matching panties that were close to the same shade of green.

Giving up on the book, she tossed it onto the coffee table and slouched back against the arm of the sofa. The image of Stella refused to leave her mind and she found her hand inevitably trailing down towards the waistband of her pyjama trousers. If she was going to be distracted anyway, then she thought she may as well make the most of it.

But then she remembered what they’d done so very recently, something they hadn't yet tried this way round but had definitely been a success thus far. She bit her lip whilst her hand paused in midair. A brief glance at the clock on the far wall told her that her girlfriend had been reorganising in the office upstairs for at least a few hours by now, and perhaps it was wishful thinking, but Dana told herself that clearly after that long she could do with a break.

Jumping up from the sofa, she hurried out of the living room and took the stairs two at a time, failing to contain her excitement and hoping that her girlfriend would be on board. The evening of their dinner date had ended in a different, albeit no less enjoyable manner involving Dana in handcuffs and Stella taking her torturously sweet time. But the still recent development of another side to their sex life was having a similarly profound effect on both of them.

Initially, though Dana had been willing to try out being a little more dominant, she'd been doing so mostly because Stella wanted her to. That's not to say she was against the idea, nor that she hadn’t massively enjoyed it, she’d just never been particularly interested before. But something about trying it with Stella had made what felt like a switch flick in her brain. For the first time in her life, power hadn't come from a gun or a badge or a qualification, it came from trust and love and simply being herself. There were no tools needed to level the playing field and she didn't have to fight for well-deserved respect because Stella already respected her immensely.

She'd witnessed so many misuses of power over the course of her life, and had been the victim herself more than a few times, so in a sense it was cathartic to be on the other side. But it was even more so to be there knowing that she herself wouldn't misuse it. She would continue proving that Stella's trust in her had been rightfully placed, and certainly have some fun along the way.

When she reached the door to the home office, she was relieved to find it wide open. Stella tended to close it when she needed to be completely focused but wide open suggested that she might actually want a distraction. Dana could hope so anyway. She knocked cautiously before shaking her head at nothing in particular and knocking again, louder and more confidently this time. Stella looked over from where she was standing by the desk, stationery from the open drawer spilled out in front of her, and she wore a curious but not unhappy expression.

"Come here, honey," Dana requested as she took a step just inside the room and stood with her back against the wall.

What had started as curious now briefly turned into perplexed, but it quickly gave way to something more willing as Stella walked over. Dana smiled once they were face to face, a sort of praise in itself, and reached out to stroke a hand across her cheek before carrying on. She often made a point of touching her like that when they started anything, doing it as an unnecessary reminder of the fact that she cared even when her actions in the moment might not always come across that way - though they both knew it to still be true. But as she pulled her hand away, the smile disappeared.

"Kneel."

A rush of arousal swept through her when Stella immediately knelt down and continued to look up at her like she was the most amazing person in the world. Her girlfriend always had a habit of looking at her like that, but it took on an extra strength in moments like this one.

"Hands up."

She took Stella's hands in her own once they were high enough to reach without having to bend down, then she gently raised them to her trousers and wrapped each finger around the top edge of the waistband.

"Pull my pants down."

Every time her demands were met with obedient silence, it only made her wetter. When her trousers were bunched around her ankles, she kicked them off to the side but made sure not to look away, that would mean losing out on the searing eye contact that Stella continued to maintain. Dana wondered if her neck was starting to hurt from being tipped back far enough to hold her gaze whilst practically beneath her, but if it was then she was hiding it well.

"I'm going to put my leg over your shoulder and I want you to hold it there for me."

Although she was never quite this submissive when their roles were reversed, Dana loved doing what was asked of her and watching her girlfriend reap that moment of power, so the idea that Stella might love doing it for her just as much was almost incomprehensible. There was a clear desire for Dana to enjoy herself and - in that way alone - she was giving into a demand set by Stella.

Leaning slightly to one side, she lifted her right leg up to drape it over the blonde’s shoulder. Stella's hand immediately supported her thigh to keep it steady and somehow their eye contact never faltered. She thought it might when she saw a deep inhale, and she knew Stella must've noticed that she wasn't wearing anything beneath her trousers when her hands slid down her hips, but a faint smile curled her lips as the gaze stayed resolute.

"I think you already know what I want, and you're being so good for me that I bet I don't even need to ask. Hold onto me with your free hand so you can tap me if you need to."

She waited for Stella's hand to be firmly placed on her hip before going any further. That whole 'not asking' thing was mostly an extension of her outwardly dominant persona and she did still want the confirmation of her request being listened to. But of course, like with everything else she'd asked for so far, it was offered with a willingness that sent shivers down her spine.

One hand raked through messy blonde hair to find purchase whilst the other splayed flat against the wall by her side. She gave Stella a final half-smile and watched her adoring gaze falter, gently pushing her head closer as she tilted her own hips up at the same time to lessen the angle. The contact on her thigh was strong and she relaxed into the hold with a sigh when Stella's tongue swiped between her labia. It was everything that she'd been missing back when she was bored on the sofa downstairs, and in that moment her girlfriend's increasingly submissive desires felt like more of a gift to her than anything else.

Directing her with the hand in her hair, she pushed Stella's tongue towards her entrance and practically felt her arousal dripping down onto her face when she rocked her hips. The act of so demandingly fucking her face felt hot, dirty, and as good as it always did. Without thinking, the grip on her hair tightened and Dana felt her whine in pleasure. The pitchy sound reverberated through the redhead and she let out a small moan in response before deliberately tugging at Stella's curls to feel it again.

When she felt a tap against her hip, she released her grip and let Stella lean back slightly to catch her breath. Her mouth was open whilst she took in air, panting hard enough that Dana could see the rise and fall of her chest, and her lips were slick and wet. Between that and her hair still being loosely held in Dana's fist, she looked like utter fantasy material.

"When you're rea- Oh God."

Dana was forced to let the persona slip as Stella dived back in, pulling her closer by her thighs in a way that she would've picked up on as disobedience if she was in any other situation. Having a skillful woman face-first in her sex wasn't exactly conducive to rational thinking. She let it go for the moment and decided to simply enjoy herself, her hips started to rock again and her hand forced Stella in tighter if only to prove the point that she was still in charge. When the tip of her girlfriend’s tongue pushed into her entrance, Dana held her there and used the position to fuck herself with Stella's tongue, feeling a pulsing warmth with each thrust of her hips and tipping her pelvis slightly forwards until Stella's nose brushed her clit.

Her eyes had opened and closed at various points, but she kept them open now to look around the room. The office was home to a cluttered mixture of their stuff and it was the one room in the house that truly showed how recently she'd moved in. Every other room had seen a slow encroaching of her possessions the further into their relationship they got, but this one contained all of the final boxes that had made it official. If three years had gotten them to this point, then she had to wonder where they'd be in another three.

As if Stella had been able to feel her distracted state, she picked up the pace until Dana felt her grasp on control go dangerously slack. With renewed effort, she pulled Stella away by her hair for long enough to give her a warning glance before tugging her closer again. She grinded against her willing tongue and held onto the mental image of her face so happily smeared with arousal.

The combined sensations worked and soon she could feel the heat that had coiled inside her spreading as she writhed against Stella's tongue. Pleasure travelled across her body in waves and was sent crashing to shore by the trembling in her abdomen. As it reached her chest, warming her almost unbearably and yet so nicely that she never wanted it to stop, it also reached her legs which began to sag. Her hand loosened its grip but Stella's didn't, holding her up against the wall whilst she was licked clean in a display of enthusiasm that sent a few final sparks running through her.

Once her limbs were fully functional, she waited for Stella to drop the hand holding her thigh, cautiously swung her leg off, and set her foot back on the ground. Her back stayed pressed to the wall and she slid down until she was sitting on the floor beside her pyjama trousers, with her knees up in front of her and Stella just beyond them.

"How's the sorting going?"

"Really?" Stella questioned without moving from her kneeling position. "That's what you want to talk about?"

From what reading she'd done, because she'd read up on everything Stella wanted to try, there were a variety of arrangements that fell under the rather vague definition of 'free use'. One theme that she'd seen come up a lot was normalizing sexual acts within the arrangement to the point that they were as casual as tidying or doing the dishes. Casual was hardly how she felt after what had just happened, but she was pretending to be casual, or trying to pretend anyway.

Her nonchalant expression soon turned into a smile and Dana couldn't help herself when she dropped her legs down to the floor and wrapped her arms around Stella's waist, pulling the blonde closer until she was straddling her lap and delighting in the yelp she produced. Up this close, it was even easier to see the wetness on Stella's face and she wordlessly leant forward to lick it from her cheeks, holding her tightly all the while to keep her still. When Dana tipped her head back against the wall, her smile widened at the sight of her girlfriend's expression - a sort of grumpy arousal.

She continued the pretence even through her smile. "Yeah. Is there something else you want to talk about instead?"

Stella crossed her arms and pouted, sticking out her glistening bottom lip. "I hate you."

"No, you don't," Dana countered.

She lifted her legs back up from the floor until Stella was held in place between her own torso and raised knees, then she let go of her waist to unfold her crossed arms and place one of them around her own neck. When she was finished and satisfied that Stella seemed willing to stay where she'd positioned her, she slid an arm around her waist again and pulled her even closer. The fact that she was sat on the floor whilst her girlfriend was on her knees meant they were at a slight height difference the other way around to earlier, but she was confident that she could use the bargaining chip of Stella clearly wanting an orgasm to keep her temporary control.

"Yes," Stella grumbled whilst staring down at her. "I do."

"But you don't actually hate me, honey. You're just horny and you think I'm going to make you sit here and talk about, I don't know, drawer organisation or something."

"You're not?" Her voice perked up.

Taking her free hand, Dana toyed with it briefly before looking back up at her. "I have a better idea."

She held Stella’s hand by her wrist and guided it back towards her body, pushing it beneath the waistband of the blonde’s leggings and watching her face the whole time. Stella followed her movements with avid attention and bit her lip as her own hand disappeared from view. Dana led her for a moment, making sure her fingers were coated in the arousal that she knew would be present, but then she brought Stella's hand back out again. Ignoring the predictable groan, she lifted both their hands towards her own lips and came close to licking Stella's fingers before changing direction and turning them towards her girlfriend.

Stella got the message and licked her own fingers obediently, but what she clearly wasn't expecting - as evidenced by her surprised whimper - was for Dana to immediately pull them back out and kiss her. She kissed her like it had been months or years rather than hours since the last time; Stella tasted like a heady mixture of their shared arousal and it only made her want to keep going. Whilst exploring her with her tongue, Dana moved their joined hands again and held the back of hers. Together, they slipped easily back into the stretchy fabric of her leggings and she used Stella's own hand to get her off, never quite touching her cunt but definitely doing all of the work.

Breathy moans disrupted their kiss and that made it all the better; she loved feeling how free her girlfriend was to react in whatever way felt natural because there would be absolutely no judgement from her. Stella's arm around Dana’s neck tightened so she did the same with her waist and she could soon feel her hips begin to move with each thrust when she curled two of Stella's fingers and pressed them inside her.

Dana used the arm around her waist to pull her forwards, fucking her with her own hand and tilting it so that her palm brushed her clit on every thrust. Stella let out a louder moan on the first touch to her clit and it was quickly swallowed within their kiss. What had started almost gently now turned into a messy combination of wet lips and tongues on which the taste of their arousal still lingered. She lapped at her greedily, as if she could manage to devour her whole, and continued pushing against the back of her hand whilst the blonde's legs started to shake from her kneeling position.

Moments later, she felt as Stella's body froze entirely, held on a sharp intake of breath before she made a series of uninhibited whimpers and moans and kept her fingers thrust deep inside herself. She rocked against them and shuddered within Dana's embrace, riding out her orgasm for longer than usual. But maybe everything that had happened first had something to do with its strength.

Dana gently slipped her own hand out from the blonde's leggings and moved it round to join the other on her back, hugging her properly without breaking the kiss that Stella seemed determined to continue. Stella's movements were incredibly sloppy and she let Dana take the lead again to bite at her bottom lip, barely tugging on it before soothing over the faint bite marks with her tongue. As she began to come down, her hips settled from their rolling motion and her hand left her sex to raise questioningly towards Dana's mouth.

“Please, Miss?”

She only noticed when Stella finally broke the kiss to speak, and with another smile, Dana took her fingers into her mouth and licked them just as willingly as her girlfriend had earlier.

"Was that a better idea?" she asked whilst wiping the saliva off Stella's fingers and onto her own shirt.

"What?"

Stella looked dazed, confused, and utterly sated. She'd apparently made no sense of what Dana just said, but that happy and sleepy grin made repeating herself worth it.

"I told you I had a better idea than talking about organising, what did you think of it?"

Stella nodded aimlessly and slid further down into Dana’s lap, shifting her knees apart and sitting back on her ass to take the weight off them. Dana already knew what was coming and so she shuffled down slightly as well and just accepted the fact that her back would protest the position later. She was more than willing to deal with that discomfort in exchange for satisfying the blonde's much-needed physical contact. The proud smile had been hard to keep off her face whilst she'd listened to her girlfriend explicitly state what she wanted and needed in moments like these. Watching her feel able to be that open and honest had been heartwarming.

Stella resituated again and swung both her legs to one side in order to get closer, then cuddled into Dana's chest and relaxed within the safe confines of her arms, leaving her to rest her chin atop mussed blonde curls.

"It was a much better idea,” Stella finally managed to reply.

“I’m glad you agree, honey. Did I interrupt you earlier? Or was that okay?”

“It was fine. I’d sort of given up on tidying by then.”

“Oh, really?” She tightened her grip and brushed the tip of her nose through her girlfriend’s hair until Stella giggled. “Maybe I should tell you to do it next time, then you’ll behave.”

“But, Miss, that would only work if I didn’t want to be punished.”

“True,” she sighed. “I guess I’ll have to get more inventive. You might like being spanked but you’d be less happy if I stopped calling you a good girl until you do what I want.” Stella made a growly sort of noise against her chest and she laughed. “See? Working already.”

Her girlfriend adopted a stroppy tone. “I am your good girl.”

“Yes you are, baby,” she conceded happily. “You’ve been very good for me today, and well done for coming up with this idea. I hope you’re enjoying it.”

“Mmm,” Stella hummed and nodded against her, jostling her slightly from how deeply pressed against Dana’s chest she was. “I- Uh- I had another idea. Well, I saw something online and I was wondering...”

“What is it? You can tell me.”

Somehow, Stella managed to curl even further into Dana’s embrace, hiding physically whilst seemingly trying to expose herself emotionally. “Some people that do, uh, free use... they have rules like the ones we thought about. Not when I’m getting ready for work and things like that. But some people have other- I don’t know what to call them. Symbols, messages, something like that. And if you... if you want to keep doing this, I was wondering if we could try that instead?”

Dana wasn’t quite sure what Stella meant by ‘symbols’ or ‘messages’, but she could see how hard it had been for her girlfriend to ask and she wanted to do what she could to help.

“I want to keep doing it if you do, honey. But what sort of things do you mean? I’d be happy to try as long as I’m sure I understand it.”

“Well,” Stella paused for a second, “one idea that I liked was jewellery. So a bracelet or a necklace or something and, if I’m wearing it, that means you have my permission to do... to do what you did today. Hard limits would still apply, obviously, and you wouldn’t have to do anything, but it would be a way of telling you that I consent and I’m in the right kind of headspace.”

Dana lifted one hand from her back to stroke her hair. “Thank you for explaining it to me, you’re doing a great job. And I like the sound of that too. I think it would make me feel more confident about initiating. But I do have one condition.”

“What’s that?”

“We can talk more about what you want because you’ll be the one wearing it, but I’m buying it, whatever it ends up being. I’ll take any excuse I can get for buying you jewellery.”

“Yes please, Miss,” Stella replied immediately.

“Full of smart ideas and polite?” Dana planted kisses across her hair and down along the slim strip of her forehead that was only just exposed from their tight hug. “You really are a good girl.”

Notes:

I seem to have used the phrase "good girl" 34 times in this fic thus far... What can I say? I'm uninventive.

I didn't want to write Stella as being particularly submissive right from the start (or at least, not acting entirely that way right from the start) as I thought easing in would be more realistic, but now that they're getting to grips with the dynamic, it's all downhill from here haha.

Chapter 12: Anal

Notes:

cw: an incredibly brief mention of self harm.

Stella had never felt sexier than she did right- No. Wait. She definitely had.

Sat on the edge of the bath, her body damp and cold beneath her robe, she unconsciously scrunched her nose up when her eyes fell to the empty box resting atop the towel rail across from her. Previous, long ago attempts at what she was currently planning had all been impulse decisions, made in the heat of the moment and regretted soon afterwards. But this time, her planning had been meticulous.

Perhaps it was what dating a doctor had done to her, or perhaps she was just a planner at heart - save for a reckless youth anyway. Although, maybe that recklessness had been meticulous in itself, a rejection of her own inherent nature as if adolescent anger might’ve been fuel enough to escape it.

The desire to escape, she quickly realised, hadn’t left her at all, seeing as how she was using the pondering of her earlier years to escape the discomfort of the present day.

Douching had seemed like a better idea in abstract theory, and an alright one a few short hours ago. But now? Now it seemed intimate, exposing, and not in a good way. She’d thought it would make her feel more prepared and thus help with her nerves, but all it had made her do was take a hot shower whilst she cringed as her mind replayed the feeling of it happening on a loop. It had certainly made her feel clean; she could say that much.

Her lack of worries about trying this up until today had been a pleasant surprise. Well, she’d had a few, but far less than she’d been expecting. Dana’s consistent enthusiasm had been helping to bolster her confidence, and the fact that today wouldn’t be an entirely new experience had made her naively assume that it also wouldn’t be intimidating.

Alas, that naïveté was what had led her here. The edge, a fitting place to find oneself questioning one’s decisions, even if it was just a bathtub.

The box taunted her in its emptiness, reminding her just where its contents had ended up, reminding her exactly what else she hoped to end up in the same place if she wanted to make this vividly self-confronting - and harrowing, if she was feeling a touch dramatic - preparation worth the effort. She leaned forwards, grabbed the box, and chucked it in the direction of the small rubbish bin opposite her.

“Gentle, my arse,” she muttered, realising quite how on the nose the grumbled statement truly was.

Maybe it was a sign. It would’ve had to be from some power or other that she didn’t believe in, but maybe they’d taken so much pity on this non-believer as to offer her a sign nonetheless. She had enough pity for herself to go around; they could share in it. What had she been thinking when she asked for this? Hadn’t her past attempts been sufficiently grim for one lifetime? No, she thought, apparently they hadn’t.

However, this was different, and she tried to remember that. Dana probably would’ve been mildly offended if she’d found out that Stella was comparing this activity with her to a couple of experiences with teenage boys. Their enthusiasm had been confined to sheerly being allowed to fuck Stella there, centred in narcissistic, masturbatory back-patting whilst they forewent lube and focused on how they’d tell their friends rather than whether or not she was enjoying herself. Dana, on the other hand, couldn’t be less thoughtful or considered.

With her girlfriend in mind, she got up and went to the door. Heaving a shoulder-relaxing sigh, she pulled it open and made for the stairs, walking hesitantly and listening out for the dry, flicking sounds of Dana thumbing through a book. Stella had been given space and understanding this afternoon, but now all she wanted was company.

“Hey.” Dana smiled up at her as she came through the doorway and rounded the end of the sofa.

Her response was punctuated by the protesting sofa cushion that she flopped down onto. “Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

She hadn’t done much to hide her discomfort; nevertheless, Dana’s immediate reaction of taking notice and checking in with her made her feel listened to.

“Squeaky clean,” she shuddered. “Remind me why I ever asked for this?”

Dana removed the distance between them by pulling her into a hug, and Stella worked hard to let the warmth of her girlfriend’s body overtake the averse feelings her brain was producing. The ends of her hair were sodden from where they hadn’t fully avoided the shower’s spray, but Dana didn’t seem to mind when she nuzzled closer and took up her favoured spot against the redhead’s chest, getting Dana’s clothes wet as she did so.

“Because you wanted to try it again with someone who cares about you. And I guess I care about you - a bit anyway.”

Rather than challenging Dana on the comment, knowing full well that it hadn’t been serious, Stella decided to wait her out. It was one of the things that Stella loved about her, how predictable she was to anyone that knew her well. Given some time, her guilt from the unanswered teasing would grow just enough for her to walk back the statement herself.

“I didn’t mean that,” she said after a minute or so, unaware of Stella’s light smile. “I do care about you.”

“I know, darling.”

“Do you want to get started?”

Toying with Dana had provided another brief distraction, but now they were back to the matter at hand, and Stella felt her nerves rise once more. Her instinct was to say nothing and hope that pushing through the anxiety would cause it to dissipate. But she wasn’t sure that would happen, and it didn’t seem fair to lie to Dana by pretending that she was confident.

She made her admission right where she felt safest, held in her girlfriend’s arms with her eyes closed as if that might somehow make it any less real. “I’m nervous. I don’t know why I’m struggling more with this than anything else. I asked you to tie me to our bed and spank me, for fuck’s sake. But I’m nervous.”

“Thank you for telling me. Remember, we don’t have to do anything. Or we can do... other things if you want.”

Stella laughed mirthlessly, acknowledging the specifically phrased suggestion more than actually finding it entertaining. “I do want to try it, or re-try it. But can we go slowly?”

“Of course we can, honey.” Her face was warmed by hot breaths as Dana leant down to kiss her forehead.

Together, they retraced her steps: standing up, leaving the living room, climbing the stairs, and getting all the way to the open bathroom door before veering off course. Dana held her hand the whole way, pulling her past the site of her earlier embarrassment and leading her to their bedroom.

Having been walked right to the edge of the bed, she lay down and righted one of the pillows beneath her head whilst Dana straddled her hips and began undoing the knot that held her robe closed. She wasn’t sure of the plan, but she assumed her girlfriend would have one, and so for now she chose to relax as best she could.

But curiosity quickly got the better of her as Dana pulled her robe open and bent down to kiss her stomach.

“What would you have done if I hadn’t been nervous? If I’d felt comfortable enough to just follow your lead? I know you must’ve thought about it.”

She could feel the curve of Dana’s lips against her skin before getting an answer, muffled as it was. “First, I would’ve started with my fingers, and probably licked your pussy at the same time. I know you like it when I do that, and I thought it would give you a distraction. Second, look to your left, on top of the dresser.”

Dana continued planting kisses across her stomach, barely moving further up her with each one, whilst she turned her head to the side. A sudden, quiet gasp left her lips at the sight atop the chest of drawers, accompanied by a slight chuckle when the redhead reacted to her reaction in turn.

It wasn’t something she’d seen before. Although, that wasn’t quite true. It was partially new, and partially something that she was very well acquainted with indeed. Affixed to one of a number of harnesses that they owned - a collection fueled from two women justifying their purchases by each claiming that, this time, it was for their girlfriend - was an as yet unseen toy. The dildo was a fair bit smaller than Stella would usually go for, much narrower too, and she smiled despite her anxiety. Dana’s thoughtfulness had been proven yet again.

“We don’t have to do that,” Dana reassured before she could say anything. “I want you to enjoy yourself, whatever we end up doing, even if that means calling it a day now.”

“But what about you?”

The redhead sat up and held onto either side of her waist, fingers slipped between her back and the open robe beneath her. “I’m in bed with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and she’s naked.” Dana’s voice and expression took on an exaggerated sense of awe, making her giggle in the process. “Don’t worry about me.”

“I love you,” she said quietly.

Dana blinked slowly, almost like an affectionate cat, and lay down on her chest until all that was between them was a thin vest top. “I love you too.”

When Dana’s hands were forced to move, lifting from her waist to either side of her head so that she wouldn’t be collapsed upon, Stella replaced the soothing touch by slipping her hands beneath her girlfriend’s top and holding on there. She felt her way around, moving with caution not because she was worried that Dana wouldn’t like it but because she wanted to keep the destressing sensation of remaining submissive. At the small of Dana’s back, she stopped, applying the slightest of pressures so that more weight would be pressed down onto her.

If it weren’t for Dana's hardened nipples, pressed off-centre to the blonde’s own such that they were all the more noticeable, Stella would’ve thought her entirely soft. The rationality of science left her sometimes appearing cold, work attire masked her body - often comparatively drab to Stella’s own, and experience-hardened armour could be raised in an instant to protect her heart. But through it all, in the right moments and with the right people, Dana was as soft as anything.

“What are you thinking about?”

Stella was pulled from her thoughts, switching from thinking about the woman to talking to her directly. “You.”

Dana rolled her eyes, but Stella saw through it just as easily as she did the logic, clothes, and armour. Someone less observant might’ve taken her mild exasperation at face value, and that would’ve caused them to miss the miniscule widening of her smile.

“Do you want to wear my collar today?”

“I don’t think so,” she replied. “I meant what I said about still wanting to try... anal. But combining the collar with you being gentle was overwhelming enough, and I definitely need you to stay gentle today. Experiencing all three at once right now probably wouldn’t turn out well.”

“Thank you for saying ‘anal’ because I was running out of ways to allude to it.” Dana sighed in mock relief. “Seriously, whatever you need, we’ll do. And I know you’re nervous, but well done for talking so openly. I’m glad you feel able to.”

She hadn’t really thought about it, but Dana was completely right. The Stella who’d hidden her face against a pillow whilst being spanked felt like a far cry from this Stella, a woman who - albeit still anxious all the while - was effectively communicating her needs.

Tensing her neck, she lifted her head for a chaste kiss before relaxing again. “I think I needed time to get used to talking like this, time to work on my fear that you would look at me differently the further we got, but you’ve never once given me a reason to be scared.”

“How do I look at you? Like I’m hopelessly in love with you? Because I promise I still will be, even after I’ve fucked your ass.”

“We’d better get going then.”

Dana looked down at her proudly for a second, clearly loving her growing confidence, and she realised exactly what would help her to solidify that confidence for today.

“What am I?” she asked in a smaller voice than she would’ve liked to.

The question briefly confused Dana and she watched the redhead thinking whilst moving down her body, settling again on her chest and grinning when the answer became clear.

“You’re my good girl.”

The possessive, praising title made her feel warm and fuzzy; it reminded her that she was in safe hands and it was such a far cry from her daily life that it helped to separate the situation she was in now from the person that everyone else got to see. She didn't have to be a guarded DSI, she didn't have to put on a front only to earn a modicum of the respect that she deserved, and she didn’t have to pretend in any way, shape, or form. Dana wanted her just as she was, and that was the most freeing aspect of all.

Placing wet, open-mouthed kisses along her body with each movement, Dana shuffled further down the bed. Stella’s hands fell from her girlfriend’s back and she clenched them against the sheets on either side of her, wishing that she still had something to hold onto.

“You can touch me, honey,” Dana said, reading her immediately. “Put your hands in my hair.”

She ran her fingers through red locks, teasing a few back and away from Dana’s face, before leaving her hands resting gently on her scalp, seeking contact without also seeking control. Her arms slowly rocked back and forth whilst Dana’s head tipped and nodded with every sensual press of lips on her skin.

“I can still see the bruises on your shoulder.” The words were muttered against the side of her breast as her girlfriend’s eyes trailed over her.

Although Stella couldn’t see them herself, she'd spent more than a few minutes looking at them in the mirror since Dana had taken her up against the kitchen worksurface. The sex had come as a surprise that morning, but then again, hadn’t that been the point? Starting her day with that near meditative chance to relax, free of all control, had carried her through budget meetings and case reviews with more verve than usual. To be fair, that vigour could well have been down to distraction. She’d used up a concerning amount of her workday thinking about all the ways in which she planned to repay the favour that very evening.

Repay she had, practically jumping Dana within seconds of getting home. One of the bruises fell in the strap’s path of most bras that she owned, and she remembered the dull pain that had rung through her shoulder when she’d lifted her arms above her head to play with Dana’s breasts whilst licking her cunt.

“You can make more,” she timidly suggested, ”...if you want.”

“So you like being marked by me?”

Stifling an eye roll at the question, she nodded.

Dana stopped moving after getting to her thighs, having nudged her legs apart to lie between them. “Ever thought about other things that could mark you?”

‘Thought’ was too mild a word for the fantasies she’d had, but she bit her bottom lip and nodded again anyway. The vague question brought those ideas back to her and she imagined whips, canes, and the predatory look that her girlfriend occasionally wore. Her hips lifted of their own accord, responding to a sharp smack held only in her mind’s eye, and Dana glanced down with a chuckle before falling concerningly silent.

Stella didn’t know what had caused the change in her demeanour, but she was desperate to find out. The redhead’s eyes had lost their confidence and her lips had fallen from their easy smile.

“I, uh-” Dana’s gaze flicked between her thighs and suddenly the nervous shift began to make sense, “I didn’t mean- Not that.”

Strangely, there was something rather nice about the change. She didn’t like that Dana was uncomfortable, but she did savour the brief chance to swap roles, to reassure in her own way. Barely pulling back on Dana’s hair, she waited until the redhead was looking up at her. “It’s alright. I know what you meant. Those scars feel like they were made a lifetime ago, and I consider the things that we’re doing now to be something else entirely. But if you need to talk about it, we can. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re hurting me in the way I once used to hurt myself.”

“Okay.” Dana nodded against her hands. “I think I would feel better if we wait on doing that until we've talked about it. I haven’t made the connection before, and I do believe you when you tell me it’s different, but I still feel a bit guilty.”

“You’ve got nothing to be guilty for. But you can make it up to me anyway, if you really want.” Stella gently pushed her head back down and heard a quiet laugh.

“I thought I was in charge?”

Before she could come up with a witty response, Dana parted her labia with her tongue and quickly got to work, licking her with determined strokes.

“You are,” she sighed, tipping her head back against the pillow.

The sensation was arousing, feeling her girlfriend’s tongue lapping at her and swirling lightly over her clit, but it wasn’t getting her any closer to climaxing; Stella wondered if that was deliberate. Either way, it felt good, and she was more than willing to keep running her fingers through Dana’s hair whilst rolling her hips to the unhurried rhythm.

“I’m happy to keep doing this,” Dana paused to take her clit between her lips for a second, “but if you want more, you need to ask for it.”

She barely hesitated. “More, please.”

Whilst her nerves weren’t completely gone, Dana’s constant reminders and reassurances had helped to push them away. It had been easier to get herself into a state about the whole affair when she was alone in the bathroom, confronted only by her thoughts and past experiences. But her girlfriend challenged them all. No matter how this went, she would still be loved in the aftermath.

Dana rose up on her elbows and leant to one side, reaching towards the bedside table where a bottle of lube sat beside the lamp. “I’ll go slowly, but just tell me if you want me to slow down even more.”

“Yes, Dana.”

Watching her girlfriend smirk at the phrase, she bent her knees and dragged her feet up the bed until they were flat against the mattress. Her hands fell back to her sides when Dana sat between her wide open legs, fiddling with the bottle whilst fully clothed in pyjamas, but all the talking they’d done meant that Stella didn’t feel particularly self-conscious, even as she lay there naked.

“Ready?” Dana squeezed a copious amount of the liquid onto her forefinger.

“Yes, Dana.”

The redhead laughed, shaking her head as she hunkered back down between the blonde’s raised thighs. Stella loosely held her hair again, fidgeting with stray wisps and curls, and she offered one last smile before her tongue darted out.

Oral as a means of distraction wasn’t the worst idea that Dana had ever had, but Stella couldn’t imagine it working well as the pad of a finger pressed against her asshole. Nothing could've distracted her from that. The feeling was foreign but not uncomfortable, and the fact that Dana had eased her in by lightly playing with her ass before made it simpler to contend with now.

Her finger stayed there for a while, applying more and more pressure with each swipe of her tongue, and soon impatience replaced novelty. “More, please.”

If Dana was surprised by the request, she didn’t show it. Instead, she pressed her lips around Stella’s clit and rolled her tongue over the bud whilst the first section of her finger was gently pushed inside. Stella contracted her muscles unconsciously at the intrusion, making everything feel tighter and all the more present.

“Ahh,” she breathed, not from pain but from trying to understand the physical sensations her body was experiencing.

Dana stilled inside her and mumbled against her sex, “Okay so far?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed as her body relaxed again.

Taking her assurance as a sign to continue, Dana pushed further. This time she felt the slight wiggling of her girlfriend’s finger and her toes curled around a ripple in the bedsheet. She’d been right to assume that this would be nothing like the last time, but what she hadn’t anticipated was how much better it would feel. Mediocrity would’ve been a win compared to her past experiences, but this? This straddled such a perfect line of what she most wanted from sex; it was non-judgemental love and unorthodox thrill rolled up into one.

Her eyes fell closed and her hands loosened their grip on Dana’s hair. “Keep going.”

She felt the redhead nod against her cunt and moaned happily as she was fingered deeper still. Dana’s other fingers brushed across her skin and Stella realised that she must’ve taken her forefinger as deep as it would go.

“Still want more?” her girlfriend asked in a raspy, aroused tone.

“Please,” Stella moaned again, relishing the deeper cadence that told her Dana was as turned on by her reaction to it all as she was. “Ughh.”

The empty feeling when Dana pulled out made her want to beg, but it was soon replaced by the slight stretch of two fingers pushing inside her, moving cautiously faster than the first one had. They slipped further as her hips moved, opening her up more and less depending on the rotation of her pelvis, and began to softly thrust inside her.

Everything else going on had caused her not to notice, but Dana had stopped licking her cunt, and she was suddenly reminded of that break when the redhead forcefully thrusted her tongue inside Stella, timing it to her fingers so that she was fucking the blonde as deeply as she could in both holes.

“Fuck,” Stella gasped. Her face contorted with pleasure, her brow furrowing and the muscles in her cheeks trembling. The gentle lead up had pushed thoughts of climaxing to the back of her mind, relegated to the borders whilst she came to terms with these new sensations. But now they refused to be ignored, surging through her and only giving her a couple of seconds warning.

She broke when Dana’s mouth returned to her clit, feeling the lightest grazing of teeth against her sensitive bud before the warm, wet touch of her girlfriend’s tongue. Dana’s fingers curled, or perhaps her own body curled around them - she couldn’t be sure, but she felt them pushing against her desperately tight inner walls regardless of the cause. Happy groans and whiny breaths spilled from her lips with every shaky movement, and her heart felt like it was about to pound out of her chest when her orgasm finally slowed.

“Did you enjoy that?”

Forcing her eyes open, she caught the smirk across her girlfriend’s face, but she was entirely too blissed out to care. A whimper bubbled up from somewhere deep in Stella’s throat when Dana removed her fingers, and the noise incited a cuddle as soon as the redhead got up from between her legs.

"You were so good for me, honey," Dana cooed, laying down against her side and draping an arm across her waist. "How are you feeling?"

A giddy laugh was about all she could manage at first, followed by lazy speech as her brain tried to catch up to its surroundings.

“I liked it.”

Dana chuckled. “I can tell.”

In turning her head to look at her girlfriend, Stella’s gaze passed over the toy that still sat atop the chest of drawers. She’d forgotten about it for a while, but there it was, and her eyes lingered just long enough for Dana to catch on. The hypothetical plan had sounded far more intensive in the midst of her earlier anxiety, and she now wondered how it could ever have seemed like a bad idea. Perhaps the emotional high of her recent orgasm had something to do with that.

“I’ll put that away.” Dana started getting up, misreading whatever expression must’ve accompanied her muddled yet eager thoughts.

“No.” Stella grabbed her hand before she could get very far. “I want to try using it. If- If you still want to?”

“Are you sure?”

The redhead’s face was a picture of concern: her eyes squinted whilst she scanned Stella’s face for discomfort, her bottom lip caught on her teeth in concentration. Stella smiled as sweetly as she could, trying to muster up the usual glint to her eyes that often eluded her in the dulled, hazy period post-climax.

“I’m sure.”

“Roll over.”

The quick turnaround took her by surprise but she was more than happy to listen. Whilst Dana stood up and walked across the room, shimmying her pyjama trousers off as she went, Stella rolled onto her stomach. Pressing her cheek to the pillow, she watched her girlfriend with the sated anticipation of someone who’s only just been fucked - and who’s about to do it all over again.

Dana half-heartedly gripped the toy cock whilst tightening the straps around her hips, and the relative size compared to her hand made it look smaller than it had done by itself.

“It really is small,” Stella commented.

Going from half-hearted to borderline protective, Dana held the toy and looked up at her with a dramatically incredulous frown. “Are you dickshaming me?”

She giggled at the ridiculous question and felt her thighs clench at the way Dana’s hand tightened around the silicone shaft. “Maybe I am. But I’m just thankful it’s not the same one as last time. I don’t think I’d be able to sit down tomorrow if you tried using that.”

“You’re probably right,” the redhead laughed with her.

After picking up the lube again, Dana climbed back onto the bed and pushed her legs apart to get between them. Stella got up onto her forearms and knees, letting her head tip forwards, her forehead resting on the pillow.

“Someone’s eager.”

With nothing to say to that, seeing as it was the complete and utter truth of which she was temporarily unashamed, she wiggled her hips and leant back until stiff silicone prodded her ass cheek. Dana took the wordless reply on board and she heard the crinkly sound of the bottle’s label before a cold, wet finger pressed against her asshole.

“Same as before, I’ll start slowly. Let me know if you want me to stop.”

Having gone through this part already, her body accepted Dana’s fingers more easily a second time. She took one and then another before letting her impatience get the best of her and starting to rock back and forth so that her girlfriend’s fingers went deeper. For someone who’d been so incredibly nervous to begin with, this was unexpectedly the most unbothered she’d ever felt. It was almost as if, after getting through the first awkward moments, there was simply nothing to be concerned about anymore. She’d held this fantasy on a pedestal until today, thinking it the scariest thing she’d asked for, and the fact that it was going so well proved more than a mere developing kink.

“Are you ready?” Dana pressed the head of the toy cock lightly against her, apparently having removed her fingers and applied more lube whilst Stella was lost in thought and none the wiser.

“Yes, Dana.” She nodded unnecessarily.

The toy was a little thicker than Dana’s combined fingers, but more than that, it was rigid and unforgiving. Her muscles clenched and she had to make the conscious effort to relax them, taking a deep breath and trying to calm her body as her emotions ran wild. It felt intruding and dirty and Dana kept pushing it deeper; Stella loved the whole thing. Even if she’d still been nervous, she soon wouldn’t have been able to feel much of anything except pleasure.

Dana’s pelvis landed flush to her ass and she squirmed around the toy to make it seem even deeper inside her.

“Hey,” her girlfriend laughed. “Stop that. You’re making the harness move and these straps are tight enough already.”

“Sorry, Dana,” she said, smiling to herself as she looked down at her tense forearms.

“Apology accepted. But you’re too far away, honey. I want to feel you.”

The complaint confused her and so she stayed still, unsure of what Dana meant and even less sure of what she was supposed to do about it. Thankfully, the redhead didn’t need her understanding, only her cooperation, and she willingly let Dana wrap an arm around her waist and lift her up by her torso without ever pulling the toy from her ass. Her back met Dana’s front, still kneeling on the bed but now sat upright rather than bent over, and Dana’s arm continued to securely hold her waist.

The position made the toy feel bigger inside her and she rolled her hips so that it would move, hearing yet paying little attention to the squelching sound of lube that her actions produced. It could be said that Dana had chosen over-caution as opposed to under-caution when it came to the amount used, both on the toy and her ass, but that was just another mark in the tally of reasons why her girlfriend could be trusted with requests like this. She'd take over-caution any day.

Her head fell back against Dana’s shoulder and her hand ran along the arm around her waist.

“Touch yourself,” Dana whispered into her ear, giving her the first proper thrust whilst she tried to make sense of the words. “I want you to come with my dick in your ass.”

Keeping one hand on Dana’s arm, her other hand dropped down between her thighs, her fingers finding their place against her clit and stroking in a circular motion. She was still wet from earlier and she didn’t know how much was from her and how much was her girlfriend’s saliva, but it’s not as though an answer to that query really mattered anyway. Practically nothing would’ve slowed her fingers from their enthusiastic, quickening pace.

“That’s it, honey. You’re taking this so well. Who knew you’d love getting fucked in the ass this much?”

She did love it, she absolutely loved it, and Dana speeding up only made her love it more. The toy filled her in a way that she’d never comfortably experienced before, and her girlfriend’s strong hold and both caring and teasing whisperings pushed her to the brink of climax deliriously fast. Her fingers moved in a hurried fashion, stroking and rubbing whilst Dana’s other arm slipped around to join the first and held tightly onto her.

“Dana!” she cried as her orgasm crested.

Her girlfriend pulled their bodies against one another, forcing the toy cock inside her on a deep thrust and leaving her clenching and trembling around it whilst the fiery heat of pleasure warmed her body.

When she finally cooled, Dana slipped the toy out of her ass and she ungracefully collapsed forwards on the bed, slumping down on the mattress hard enough for it to bounce beneath her. She heard the redhead moving around behind her but she paid the sounds no mind, assuming that Dana was simply taking the harness off before rejoining her.

As expected, Dana lay down beside her. “Was it just as good the second time?”

“Better,” she murmured.

“I’m glad.” Dana patted her head affectionately and she turned towards the feeling, coming face to face with her girlfriend as Dana stroked away the hair from in front of her eyes. “You look really happy.”

“I am really happy. Weirdly happy.”

It was true. Stella had already known that today might bring up a certain degree of emotion, but should it really have felt this groundbreaking? Perhaps that was a question to ask another day, a day on which she wasn’t still basking in the sappy, climactic afterglow that plastered a dumb smile across her face whilst she watched her girlfriend through half-closed eyes. Something else that afterglow did was make her want to return the favour, or maybe that was just down to her. Either way, she hoped her request would be granted.

“Dana?” she questioned in a slightly whiny tone, rolling over onto her back to land on her discarded robe. “Will you sit on my face?”

“Please,” she added after a beat.

The redhead smirked and closed the distance she’d created when she rolled over. “You’re feeling confident today.”

“You just put a dildo up my arse. Fucking my face doesn’t feel like a big ask after that.”

“Fair point,” Dana laughed.

She shuffled down the bed until her head was off the pillow and Dana clambered over to straddle her chest, resting there for a second before lifting up over her face. Stella’s arms wrapped around her girlfriend’s thighs and she pulled her down with no hesitations whatsoever, ready to give back some of the care and attention that she’d been receiving today. Her tongue wasted no time in slipping over Dana’s wet cunt and she made sure not to let herself savour the musky taste for too long, keeping her girlfriend’s clearly aroused state in mind.

“Good girl,” Dana groaned, reaching down to take hold of her hair and keeping her tongue as close as possible.

Looking up at the redhead’s body, Stella took her clit into her mouth and placed wet, sloppy kisses over it whilst Dana writhed above her. She knew Dana wouldn’t last long, not like this, and she put as much effort in as she could, desperate to see her girlfriend peak like she had - momentarily losing oneself in rapture.

Between her girlfriend’s strong thighs wasn’t the best place to accurately timekeep, for she had no real incentive to be anywhere else, but she didn’t think a lot of time had passed before Dana gasped and moaned. The redhead shuddered against her face and she lapped up the fresh arousal that soon began smearing across her lips and cheeks.

“Mmm,” Dana hummed contentedly, collapsing down beside her on the bed and cuddling into her again. “I’ll let you know when my legs start working, then we can do aftercare.”

Stella wrapped an arm around her shoulders and turned in towards her. “Okay. But for what it’s worth, I’m feeling alright.”

Grumbling sleepily, Dana nuzzled against her and stretched a leg out to rest across her thighs. “In future, if you’re going to let me do anal, then you’re going to let me fuss over you afterwards. Deal?”

“Deal,” she whispered into her girlfriend’s messy hair.

At one point in their relationship, Stella would’ve contested the idea. She might still have wanted it deep down, but she would’ve at least pretended not to, forgoing comfort in favour of appearing strong or some other such unnecessary excuse. That’s exactly what they were, excuses, and she was thankful to be rid of any need for them. She liked it when Dana fussed over her, and she no longer had any reason to hide that fact, so why should she?

Instead, she let herself give into the temptation of a nap, knowing wholeheartedly that her girlfriend would be there to look after her on the other side.

Notes:

nothing to see here, just two women having some polite, friendly, anal sex...

Chapter 13: Safe Word

As she looked down at Stella - eyes travelling from the flushed skin of her chest, up over the collar around her neck, across her face, and ending at her clenching fingers as they tried to hold onto the cuffs around her wrists - Dana wondered if she should’ve let them both get this far.

Consent had been given, enthusiastically so, and it was all Stella’s idea to begin with. But her mind lingered on the weary expression she’d caught when her girlfriend walked through the front door earlier this evening. Whilst she understood that these scenes could be stress-relieving, she couldn’t help but question whether the emotional weight that they sometimes carried might be too much after an already emotionally heavy day. Something a little lighter, perhaps, or a delay between stressor and reliever; that might’ve been prudent to suggest.

But she hadn’t suggested either of those things, and so here is where they found themselves.

Stella had embraced this chance for submission with an unexpected vigour, throwing herself into the scene more quickly than usual. She’d sighed pleasantly as the cuffs were buckled around her wrists and she’d willingly begged for Dana to finger her. But that excitement had passed almost as soon as it had arrived, fading into an air that appeared as conflicted as it did satisfied.

“Honey,” Dana stilled her fingers, speaking in a soft, non-demanding tone. “Do you want me to keep going?”

Within seconds, she knew that - at most - she would only continue the scene for a few more minutes. Stella hadn’t asked her to stop, but the look on the blonde’s face was unsure enough for Dana to take it as a message in itself. If requested, she would move her fingers again and work Stella towards a gentle climax, after which she would gently stop. Abruptly ending the scene now seemed as though it could do more harm than good, but plans were swiftly being laid for the aftercare that she soon expected would be necessary.

“Yes, Miss,” Stella finally replied.

Despite the verbal go-ahead, however, Dana held off. She’d seen the sharp change in Stella’s breathing as those couple of words left her lips, and she decided to wait for just a few more seconds, giving her girlfriend’s mind a moment to catch up to her clearly anxious body. Eyeing up the cuffs, she thought about how fastest to unclip them whilst her arousal-coated fingers made a slow, hesitant departure from Stella’s sex.

A streak of anger ran through her, directed solely at herself, when Stella said what she was already anticipating.

“Flower.”

If she’d seen it coming, then why on Earth didn’t she stop sooner? Stella had placed such a vast depth of trust in her, and this was how she chose to repay it?

Shaking her head, she set aside thoughts of her own actions and focussed instead on what was most important - making sure that Stella was alright. Her hands made quick work of undoing the connector between the cuffs, and she could at least be glad that she’d made a point of discussing how best to deal with accessories like collars and cuffs in moments such as this. Ever since Stella had first worn the collar, and first felt the emotional dip that had come afterwards, they’d decided that these things were best left on to be dealt with later.

Having freed Stella from the headboard of the bed, Dana laid down beside her and wrapped her up in a hug when she immediately turned in towards the physical contact. Her body trembled and her shaky breaths became weak sobs against Dana’s chest.

“I’ve got you,” the redhead whispered. “You’re safe.”

Stella didn’t respond, which was hardly a surprise, but she worried for her nonetheless. Whatever the cause, whether or not Dana had been correct in her initial assumptions, Stella had never reacted like this before. She told herself that it would’ve been bound to happen at some point. Whilst not necessarily this exact scenario, surely something would’ve proved too much - even just the once. But thinking it normal didn’t make it feel any better; Stella was still there, crying in her arms regardless.

Time dragged on around them, so pronounced in its passing that the sensation was almost tangible: the way it tugged at her heart, the way it slowly chilled her from within, and the way it syphoned off her emotional reserves. It was cruel and unforgiving, but she didn’t quite feel undeserving of such a fate. They never would’ve been here if she’d listened to her instincts and stopped in time.

Her fingers traced unhurried, aimless paths across Stella’s back, and the longer they lay there, the more defined the goosebumps spreading across her girlfriend’s skin became. She didn’t want to think about the fact that Stella had been crying for long enough to get cold, but it was at least something that she could try to fix.

“Hey, honey,” she said, having learned her lesson some time ago about explaining things before doing them. “I need to sit up so I can pull the covers over you, but I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Keeping both of her arms around Stella, she worked herself back towards the headboard until she was slouched up against it, leaving the blonde cuddled into her midriff. One of Dana’s hands had to lift away in order to reach down and grab the duvet, but she was back to holding Stella as soon as they were both tucked beneath it. The edges of the sheet were crumpled against Stella’s chin, moving slightly with each turn and shift of her head as she sought what comfort could be found in the embrace.

Slowly, so slowly that Dana had to wonder if its cause wasn’t peace but exhaustion, Stella began to calm down. Her sobs turned to small whimpers, before relaxing yet again into sniffling breaths. Dana held her throughout, bringing one hand up to stroke through her hair, softly scratching her scalp whilst she trekked back from wherever her emotions must’ve taken her.

“Thank you,” Stella said quietly.

Considering her own burgeoning guilt as to the actions that had led them here, Dana was confused by the gratitude. “For what, honey?”

“For listening.”

She thought for a moment, trying to work out what that could mean, before coming to an upsetting understanding. Stella was thanking her for listening to the safe word, acting on it, and she was confident enough in their relationship to know that Stella’s uncertainty couldn’t have come from her. It wasn’t a lack of trust between them; no, it was a lack of trust in anyone. Stella hadn’t assumed that Dana specifically would ignore her and keep going, rather she’d assumed that she herself would be ignored - perhaps even assumed that she deserved it.

Dana fought back her anger, tamping it down as it jumped from her feelings of guilt to whoever and whatever had dared to make the love of her life believe in so very little of her own worth and agency. Stella had always hidden this part of herself well, keeping it locked away such that no one would ever know. Dana had thought she knew, thought she understood, but it was becoming clear that she’d only just scratched the surface.

She swapped her hands, sliding the one on the back of Stella’s head down to wrap an arm around her shoulders, whilst the other lifted the blonde’s chin, tipping her head up. Stella’s face was pink and tear-stained, catching the light along wet tracks that meandered and merged with one another, wandering with no ultimate direction. It hurt to see how beautiful her eyes looked, sparkling and bright through her pain. Her chin trembled against Dana’s hand, causing her bottom lip to wobble as their gaze met.

“I will always listen to you,” Dana said, speaking as forcefully as her gentle tone would allow. “I might be ‘in charge’, but only because you’ve asked me to be. Consent is bigger than that, and you don’t have to thank me for respecting it - for respecting you as a person. Thank you for using your safe word when you needed to.”

“Okay,” Stella whispered, letting Dana carefully wipe the tears from her face. “What happens now? Are we still going to do aftercare?”

She spoke with a quiet sense of confidence, watching whilst it worked as intended and Stella relaxed down further against her body. “Definitely. We’re going to stay here until you’re ready, then I think we should have a bath, talk some more when you feel up to it, and I’ll make dinner later because you need to eat something before we go to bed.”

“So do you.”

The predictable comment made her chuckle; Stella really was beginning to feel better. “That’s for me to worry about. Right now, all I want you to do is let me look after you.”

“Yes, Dana,” Stella replied. Her features were less tense than they had been, and her hand found Dana’s against her face, reaching out to interlock their fingers.

In return, she smiled and pulled their joined hands up to plant a kiss on her knuckles. “Good girl. Tell me when you want to get up.”

Once Stella felt ready, Dana pushed back the duvet and climbed out of bed before helping her out too. She placed a hand protectively across the small of her back and walked her to the bathroom, maintaining the caring, nonsexual element of dominance over her that they often kept up during aftercare. The relief that Stella appeared to take from it gave Dana an idea, but she set it to the back of her mind for now, instead choosing to attend to the blonde’s current needs.

“Sit down, honey.” Dana guided her to the edge of the bath.

“I- I know...” Stella paused to think as she sat down, her eyes flicking across the room but never settling. Dana rested a hand on her shoulder whilst patiently waiting for whatever it was that she wanted to say. “I know you only started calling me it after we tried degradation. But can you call me, you know, when you take the collar off? I-” Stella gulped, steeling herself for something that she was clearly finding hard to explain. “I think I like it. And- And I think I’ll feel a bit worse again when the collar comes off, but that might make me feel better.”

Unsure of what she meant, Dana had to rack her brains before feeling more than a little stupid when the answer became clear. To be fair to her, Stella had certainly gone about the request in a cryptic manner. But Dana could understand why. She too would’ve found it difficult to actively ask for such a clichéd - even if still comforting - pet name.

“Baby?” she questioned, checking that she had indeed made sense of the request.

Stella looked at her and immediately nodded, visibly perking up at the name. She smiled at the enthusiasm and came closer to wrap an arm around her girlfriend, reaching past with her other arm to start filling the bath at the same time.

“I’m so proud of you. I know that must’ve been hard to ask for, thank you for telling me.”

“I don’t think it works to degrade me anymore.” Stella didn’t laugh, but there was a lightness to her voice as she pressed her face against Dana’s chest, half-leaning on her breast though neither woman cared. Sex wasn’t really on their minds; this was reassurance only.

“Maybe not.” Dana actually did let out a small laugh of her own. “But we can think about that some other time.”

They stayed like that until the tub was full, at which point Dana turned off the taps and took a step back, holding onto one of Stella’s wrists with both hands. She gestured at the cuffs, explaining the next step even though Stella definitely already knew it.

“May I take them off?”

After receiving a nod, she started undoing the first cuff, noting how Stella’s other hand mindlessly went to the collar, stroking back and forth across one side of it. She’d never anticipated that it would come to hold this level of meaning, for either of them, but now that just felt silly. Of course it held meaning. Her powerful, headstrong, wonderfully smart girlfriend was like putty in her hands. Whilst that wasn’t down to the collar, the symbolism of wearing it seemed to help Stella in giving herself permission to enjoy any of this, and in that way the collar was incredibly important.

“One more.”

She gently pulled Stella’s hand away and undid the second cuff, leaving them both on the shelf behind her.

“How are you feeling, baby?”

Stella rolled her wrists now that they were properly free and took a steady breath, exhaling in a manner so deliberately controlled that it told Dana more than any words could. It showed that, yes, she was struggling, but she was also regulating her emotions and feeling them without letting them overwhelm her. Dana cupped her jaw with both hands and waited, giving her the time she needed whilst reminding her that she wasn’t alone.

“Anxious,” Stella finally said. “But I think it’s because I’m anticipating feeling worse. I don’t truly feel upset right now.”

“Thank you for being honest with me. We can leave the collar on if you feel like it’s too soon.”

Tipping her head back, Stella looked up at Dana and held onto both of her arms. “No. I know you want me to be honest and, well... Honestly, I don’t want to take it off at all. But I have to at some point. It may as well be now.”

“Okay,” she stroked her thumbs across Stella’s cheeks, “I want to talk more about that later. But first, let’s take this off and get you in the bath. I’m already missing cuddling you.”

The admission earned her a shy smile and she leant down to kiss her girlfriend’s forehead before going any further. The buckle on the collar sat round at the back, right at the nape of Stella’s neck, and she used its placement as an excuse for a hug at the same time.

“There we go, baby.” She felt for the shelf that she’d left the cuffs on, unwilling to turn around, and dropped the collar alongside them.

Both of her hands ran through Stella’s hair, soothing whilst also feeling for any slight trembles in the blonde’s body that might come before tears. Dana held her there for a moment, giving her little chance but to relax within the embrace and knowing that a lack of options would make it easier for her to accept the continued care - even without the collar.

“Let’s get in,” she said once she was confident that Stella would be alright for now.

After taking Stella’s hand and helping her to stand up and climb into the bath, Dana followed along behind her and hugged her close when they were both settled, holding her waist and extending either leg along the outside of hers. Stella practically melted against her, softening against her chest and angling sideways to breathe deeply against the crook of her neck. Although she still wasn’t happy about the events that had gotten them to this point - or, more accurately, the decisions of her own that had left Stella needing to safe word - she could at least be glad for having done the right things afterwards.

Her girlfriend was fragile and there was more than a fair chance that fragility would break once more into upset, but whether or not that happened, she was safe. Whilst Dana was regretting some of her choices, there were others to be proud of. This safe haven that they’d created with one another was very much a part of the reason that Stella could get upset in the ways that she did. That’s not to say that it caused the initial upset, rather it provided a setting in which she didn’t feel the need to hide her emotions - not just from others but from herself too.

Dana wondered about that sometimes - the catharsis that Stella seemed to have found in submission. Even now, even whilst so very sensitive, there was an ease in the blonde’s body against her own, an ease that she’d never felt until after that first dip into praise when Stella had curled up in her lap and given into her affections. It was as if, in allowing herself to submit in one way, further acts of submission took smaller and smaller steps to achieve.

But these were things to think more about later, when Stella was ready, not when she was turning over onto her side and pressing a hand to Dana’s sternum.

“How are you feeling?” the redhead asked before having a second thought and offering something simpler. “Were you right about feeling worse, baby?”

Pulling her knees up to press her legs against either side of her girlfriend’s thighs and tighten their hug, she felt Stella nod against her chest and went back to what had apparently helped earlier, keeping one arm across Stella’s back whilst using the other hand to gently play with her hair.

“It’s not-” Stella sighed and shifted slightly further up her body to end up back where she’d been before turning over. “It’s not too bad. I thought it would be worse than this. But I think you’re making it better.”

Dana kissed the top of her head, humming in acknowledgement of her thoughts. “I’m glad I can help; thank you for letting me. If there’s anything else that'll make you feel better, just ask.”

“Uh- No, that’s ridiculous.”

Considering how quickly Stella responded, Dana knew there must be something there. “What is?”

The blonde huffed against her neck and she wasn’t sure whether it was in reaction to her question or if Stella had instead meant it towards herself. Either way, Dana’s curiosity continued to grow.

“I’m aware of how silly this is.” Stella preemptively shook her head, leaving Dana even more intrigued. “But you saying that has given me a sudden craving for ice cream.”

She tried not to laugh, she really did, but after the emotional upheaval of their evening so far, the simple request was such a drastic, positive change that she couldn’t stop herself. Thankfully for them both, Stella seemed to find it in herself to laugh alongside her.

“I think we’ve got some in the freezer. I’ll check once we’re finished here.”

“Thank you, Dana.” Stella leant back on her shoulder to look up at her face, properly smiling for the first time in hours.

That smile did more to warm her heart than any simple term of gratitude ever could. “You’re welcome, baby.”

When the water had cooled down far enough to be uncomfortable, Dana took the lead in getting them both out and dried before heading to the bedroom in search of pyjamas. Her work schedule meant that she’d already been home for a while before the end of Stella’s day, and the t-shirt she’d changed into for those couple of hours now felt like the perfect way to give her girlfriend a little more security.

Back in the early days of their relationship, Stella had denied finding any comfort in her clothes and general scent - that is until she’d walked in on Stella wearing a jumper of hers and unconsciously stroking one of the cuffs across her own cheek. Initial excuses about the softness of the fabric had unravelled into quiet honesty. From then on until she moved in, she’d secretly made a point of leaving a few well-loved items of her clothing around Stella’s house whenever the blonde seemed like she might need them.

She left Stella at the bottom of the stairs after one more check in, where they went their separate ways as she hunted out a tub of ice cream from the very back of a freezer drawer. It was small to begin with and only half full, so she put away the bowls she’d grabbed from the cupboard and just took two spoons with her, making a mental note to add ice cream to the shopping list in case this became a regular occurrence.

“This isn’t dinner by the way.” She tried to look stern as she walked into the living room, but seeing Stella peacefully huddled under a blanket on the sofa made her soften immediately.

“But it’s such a balanced meal.”

Stella moved across to the middle of the sofa, leaving the corner for her to sit down in and clearly expecting her to initiate some sort of cuddle. Dana chuckled, more at the sweet expectation than the sarcasm, and passed over the tub and spoons so that she could pull her girlfriend onto her lap as soon as she sat down. The blanket was twisted and caught between them but Stella didn’t seem to mind, so neither did she.

Watching the blonde make a voracious start on the ice cream, Dana wrapped an arm around the back of her waist and accepted occasional, pitifully small spoonfuls from her. She didn’t actually want any, which was probably a good thing because Stella made only the vaguest of attempts to share. All she really wanted was this right here, to see Stella feeling better again, and to know that she’d been able to help in some way.

Once the tub was empty, Stella leant over to put it on the coffee table along with the spoons before cuddling in as if Dana’s body was perfectly made for her to take comfort from. Perhaps it was. Her hands snaked around to hold either side of the redhead’s waist and her cheek was pressed so tightly against her collarbone that every word became muffled and nearly incomprehensible.

“Thank you for being so nice to me tonight. I know it went wrong, but I feel a lot calmer than I did when I got home.”

“I don’t know if I’d say it ‘went wrong’, but I do think we should talk about what happened.” Dana sighed, tugging at one corner of the blanket so that it was fully draped over her girlfriend again. “But it can wait until tomorrow if you'd prefer that.”

Stella shifted in her lap to reach out for her hand once Dana let go of the blanket, interlocking their fingers like she’d done whilst they were in bed. “No. I do want to leave it ‘til tomorrow, but I think it should happen tonight. I’ll find it easier to be open with you about how I’m feeling now than I will after another day at work.”

Not that she said anything to imply that Stella’s suggestion was right or wrong, but Dana was glad to be having the conversation now. She knew that, without it, there would be an anxious, guilty undercurrent to her mood that would mess with her sleep and make for a painfully slow day tomorrow.

“That makes sense. There are a few things that I’d like to talk about, but is there anything you want to say first?”

“No,” was Stella’s well-anticipated reply. “Go ahead.”

“I feel guilty for not stopping sooner than we did. I know you consented, but I could see you weren’t in a good headspace, and I think I should’ve been more responsible about acting on my instincts and not letting it get that far.”

Stella tightened the grip on her waist and squeezed her hand, offering her some of the same physical reassurance that she’d been so generous with this evening - and every other evening. “In case you need to hear it, I don’t blame you and I don’t think you should blame yourself either. But I understand what you mean. Looking back, I know I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for sex, and definitely not for being restrained. Perhaps I should think more reflectively about how I’m feeling before we start doing anything in future; that might help.”

“We can make it step one.”

“In what? The Ikea instructional booklet for a ‘Kinky Sex Life’?”

Dana snorted at the remark whilst Stella giggled against her chest. She didn’t care so much about the quip as she did the sign that her girlfriend was truly feeling alright, which in turn helped her to start feeling better about their evening.

“Exactly,” she said. “Healthy BDSM practices are basically the same as building a table, right?”

“If you say so.” Although she couldn’t see Stella’s face, Dana was certain from the tone of her voice that she’d been rolling her eyes as she spoke.

As much as Dana wanted to keep to the lighter topic that they’d stumbled onto, she knew that there were other things still yet to be discussed. “If you don’t mind me asking, what happened today to make you feel as bad as you did? I haven’t seen you like that in a while.”

“Don’t get me started,” Stella muttered, tensing slightly in reaction to whatever she must’ve been thinking about. “I was told this afternoon that one of my cases got thrown out, thanks to some dimwit or other mishandling the murder weapon. The rest of the evidence was circumstantial and the judge apparently decided that it wasn’t enough for a conviction.”

“That’s terrible,” Dana said for want of something better.

Stella let go of her waist and started fidgeting with her hand, still holding it as she had been whilst also tracing lines across the back and toying with her knuckles. Dana happily let her do it, feeling the tension in her body dissipate as she quietly worked out her frustrations, glad for the fact that she found stress relief in the contact somehow.

After a minute or two, Stella began to talk again unprompted. “I realise now that it wasn’t the best idea, but when everything felt like it was out of my control and going wrong, the only thing I wanted was to be with you. It was all I could think about on my way home - getting to leave work behind for the night and just exist without having to worry about anything, or be responsible for anything.”

The explanation gave Dana pause, reminding her of something that she’d thought about earlier. Stella obviously enjoyed the sexual element of this dynamic; it was, after all, the reason they’d started doing this in the first place. But there was the other side too, the one that the redhead had spent much of the evening focussed on. What was it Stella had said? She hadn’t been ‘in the right frame of mind for sex, and definitely not for being restrained.’ The specificity of those words was what Dana pondered next.

“Stel?” It hadn’t been meant as a question, but she spoke questioningly enough for Stella to lean back from her chest and look her in the eye. “You can say no, obviously, and you don’t have to say anything at all if you want time to think. But have you ever thought about doing this - the collar and the roles and the titles and whatever - without having sex?”

“Sometimes,” Stella admitted quietly, watching her intently all the while. “I- I think that’s probably what I wanted tonight, now that I think about it, but it feels embarrassing.” Dana pulled her in again when she looked away. "Hi girlfriend, mutual adult, love of my life, what have you. Can you collar me and boss me around for a while until I feel better?"

“Well, yes. Yes, I can.”

In the ensuing silence, Dana rubbed her hands up and down Stella’s side, waiting for some kind of response. Her words might’ve been few and straight to the point, but she didn’t have much else to say. Yes, she would happily do that and more if Stella asked; she couldn’t think of a single good reason not to. However, Dana considered, did her girlfriend understand just how willing she really was? Perhaps it was connected to the issue that had come up when Stella safe worded, that assumption that she might not deserve to be listened to.

Dana sighed sympathetically. “I’m not doing all of this completely for you, Stel. I get something out of it too, but that’s because it’s with you. I like feeling powerful because you’ve trusted me to have that power. Selfishly, I enjoy knowing that someone I love and respect so much thinks I should be trusted like that. And if making it about me would stop some of the embarrassment, then know that helping you to relax forces me to relax as well - whether or not we have sex.”

“Okay.”

It was one word, said hesitantly and directed more at her sternum than her face; Dana took it gratefully nonetheless. There was more that she wanted to talk about, but nothing so urgent that it couldn’t wait for another day, and Stella was clearly flagging. They’d done enough for one emotionally tiring evening.

“Do you remember when I said that ice cream isn’t dinner?”

Stirring ever so slightly from her tired, self-conscious state, the blonde let out a dissatisfied grumble. “I distinctly remember that being a hallmark goal of adulthood.”

“Does that mean you’re not hungry?” Dana tried instead, banking on Stella having skipped lunch as she usually did.

“Perhaps I am,” she relented.

“Come on then.” Dana attempted to start moving them both, but she was quickly stopped by Stella refusing to let go of her hand. “If you hadn’t already noticed, I can’t cook dinner from here.”

“Just a few more minutes.”

Before she had any time to think, Stella was snuggling up against her once more and doing absolutely everything to convince her not to move. The blanket got pulled up until it was tucked over her shoulders, barely dipping low enough in the middle so that it didn’t cover her girlfriend entirely. Her hand was held to Stella’s chest and she felt Stella turn in towards her body until she was helpless to do anything but agree.

“Okay,” she pretended that her position on the matter wasn’t already being made apparent by the way she leaned further into the corner of the sofa so that Stella could get more comfortable, “just a few more minutes.”

Stella stretched up to kiss the side of her jaw before relaxing again, settling on her lap in such a loose, carefree way that told Dana she must’ve said and done at least some of the right things today. She glanced up at the clock on the wall, then back down to her phone where it lay at the other end of the sofa. No cooking would get done tonight, she knew that much. A few minutes would turn into a few more, and perhaps another few after that for good measure. But she could order food, if only she could convince herself to bother Stella for long enough to reach her phone.

She had enough willpower for that, surely? It would take ten seconds at most. But then Stella made an adorable, contented noise against her chest, and she knew that she was done for.

Notes:

a smutfic where they talk about not having sex? what has become of me?

they'll get back to kinky times soon, I promise

Chapter 14: Soft

Notes:

thank you inuendo_outuendo for the encouraging feedback!!

It had been good, she thought, really rather good indeed. The bedsheets were held captive around their nude forms, the pillows had been abandoned to the floor, and the only movement in the room came from their panting breaths whilst they calmed from their respective highs.

Stella lay there on her stomach, resting her cheek atop her forearm and gazing at the woman beside her. Their sex life had never been something to complain about, nor was she going to start doing so now, but a small voice in the back of her mind wanted to disagree. Good wasn’t the word, great perhaps was, and yet her own flash of disappointment was what ruined it. No, that wasn’t entirely right either. She wasn’t disappointed per se; she was simply trying to compare two acts that were different enough to make the whole comparative effort a pointless endeavour.

On the one hand, there was sex - pure and simple. Say for example, the sex from which she now found herself recovering. A summer’s eve walk had developed from a gentle stroll into a brisk hurry back home upon deciding that they’d both had quite enough of flirting with each other. There had been mischievous laughter as they rounded the final street corner, metallic scrapes as the impatiently shoved key refused to align with the lock, and syncopated footfalls as two women chased their own enthusiasm up the staircase. Dana’s body, supple and pliant against her own, had held within its small proportions every pleasure that she could desire. No part of her was left untouched and no inch of her skin was left unclaimed by dexterous hands and soft, arousal-slicked lips.

On the other hand, there were all of those inebriating complications and accoutrements. The kinds of things that she had given up on pretending not to enjoy: the ropes, the leather, the rough hand of her girlfriend - her ‘Miss’, the raspy murmurings that flickered between filthy and sweet fast enough for her hazed brain not to take any sort of discerning notice. She’d had a taste; more than that, she’d had multiple courses practically served up on a platter. But greed was a fickle master, and it made her hunger for even more.

There was something stopping her, however, and that was the unspoken stagnation that had become of their power dynamic. Ever since she’d used her safe word, there had been... Not a reluctance, no, but certainly a hesitance in Dana’s actions. In turn, that hesitance had knocked her confidence. It was easier not to listen to shame and embarrassment when presented with eagerness from her girlfriend, and this new development wasn’t helping matters.

“You’re thinking,” Dana said, disrupting her aimless comparisons.

It wasn’t phrased as a question, but she knew that it was meant as one. She rolled over onto her back, tucking herself beneath the arm that inevitably moved to accommodate her, and cuddled into Dana’s side without ever attempting eye contact. This was a conversation that they needed to have, or she felt a need for it anyway.

“I don’t want this to sound like a complaint because it isn’t that. But what was it about me using my safe word that changed things for you? I’d like to think of it as an overabundance of caution, but that’s easier said than done when you look at me as if you’re ashamed every time we even push at the boundaries of vanilla.”

Stella was confident in one thing then at least, which was that she’d utterly failed in trying to sound like she wasn’t complaining. She listened to Dana sigh, feeling the exhale against the top of her head, and turned her body inwards whilst forcing herself to look up.

“Sorry.” She smiled apologetically and kissed the redhead’s shoulder. “I didn’t intend for that to sound so cruel. I just- Don’t misunderstand me, I enjoy our sex life as is. But I assume you have your reasons, and I’m left wondering as to what they could be.”

Dana smiled back at her, but strangely enough, it looked real as opposed to sympathetic, and she was left feeling all the more confused.

“You never would’ve tried having this conversation with me a year ago. It’s good - healthy. And I don’t think you were being cruel.” With that reassurance, Dana raised the hand not softly stroking her back to tuck a few messy curls behind her ear. “I guess I’m conflicted. Not about you, you’re perfect, but about my part in all of this.”

Before Dana could lift her hand away, Stella grasped it with her own and held them both against her cheek. “What’s the conflict?”

“I know that you enjoy it, and I do as well. But I felt at least partially responsible last time and that bothered me. You didn’t do anything wrong, I did. We talked afterwards and that should’ve been enough for me, but any time I think about it, I end up worrying that I like being your domme for the wrong reasons or that I’m going to make another mistake.”

She could feel her own conflict brewing, but it was unlike Dana’s concerns in almost every regard. There was the mild upset that mirrored her girlfriend’s distress, the steady hum of her own thought processes as she worked out how best to hopefully solve the problem, and beneath it all was the sinfully pleasant coiling in her gut at the banal manner in which Dana had asserted the position of being her domme. In her distracted state, she considered her reaction to be well hidden, but the sparkle that quickly took to Dana’s eyes betrayed them both.

“So I’m right about you enjoying it?” Dana chuckled whilst she tried to stop the slight widening of her eyes and the parting of her lips.

Seeing as she’d already given herself away, Stella decided to go all in. If what Dana needed was confidence, then she felt a duty to provide what help she could, and that duty served to quiet her own nerves.

“Yes, Dana,” she whispered slowly, using her deliberate tone as an excuse to sidle closer towards her girlfriend’s face. “You’re completely right. Now, what can I do to make you feel better? I’ll do anything.”

“Maybe I’m an idiot for saying this, but can we just talk? There are a few things that I’m still thinking about from last time.”

“Of course we can.” She switched back to her normal voice and moved their hands again to kiss Dana’s palm before letting her go. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t turned on, but I really do want you to feel better. That’s more important.”

Together, they moved and sat up; Dana leant back against the headboard whilst Stella lifted one leg over her thighs to straddle her. She couldn’t deny her own reaction to the contact, their naked bodies shifting and fitting together as easily as always, but she did ignore it for the time being. Meaning exactly what she’d said, she put Dana’s needs first.

However, as her girlfriend’s arms reclaimed their native position around her waist, she let herself take the tiniest bit of enjoyment from the unspoken way that they’d ended up here. Gratefully, she watched Dana return her contented smile and lifted her arms to run her hands over the small but well-defined biceps that held her in. It reminded her of the suggestion that had been made not long ago: dominance and submission without sex. This comfort - this security - solely for its own sake. The idea had already sounded good, as long as she could take aside her own hangups, and she continued to warm to it now.

“I said I wanted to talk but,” Dana leant forward and trailed a series of chaste kisses up the side of her throat to end up speaking into her ear, “honestly, I’d be happy to stay like this for hours.”

She laughed at the combination of her girlfriend’s words and their breathy delivery against her skin. “Pervert.”

“Says you.”

Shaking her head, she gently pushed at Dana’s shoulders to separate their bodies again. “Even the notion!”

Having both played a hand in detouring from their conversation, they shared a look as silence fell. Stella truly did want to help, but she had little idea of what Dana wanted to talk about, and so instead she draped her arms around her girlfriend’s neck and waited as patiently as possible. Dana’s fingers pressed into the small of her back, fidgeting with her body like she was a toy or a possession and making it that much harder for her not to submit in every which way that she wanted to.

“First,” Dana finally began whilst she used up the last dregs of her willpower, “I said something when it happened but I want to bring it up again. You thanked me for listening to your safe word. I- I hope you know it wasn’t a choice for me, I didn’t decide to listen. I didn’t question it. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think you sometimes connect so much of yourself - your worth - to your job that everything else gets left behind. You’re allowed to matter, Stel.”

Stella looked down, trying to collect her thoughts as they flitted around her head. She understood what Dana meant - agreed, even - but she’d never phrased it quite like that before. “I think you might be right.”

Questioning of her own self-worth was usually, unwittingly, met with answers that somehow related to her work. Perhaps a case she’d recently solved, a family given closure, or a criminal put behind bars such that they could no longer cause the pain that she’d worked so very hard to stop. Beyond that, there were occasional stray comforts, but they were never really hers to take ownership of. She considered herself worthy as a woman, as a beacon of those successes that had been kept from so many others. She considered herself worthy as an educated, learned individual; not worthy from the privilege of symbolic capital - her degrees and the like - but worthy in that she made efforts to improve her knowledge of the world.

Past that, in her own self, in trying to define a rather more holistic picture of her identity and personhood, worth was harder to come by.

She looked up again, not by herself but by Dana gently holding her jaw and tilting her chin upwards. The gaze that fell on hers was open and commiseratingly sad.

“Sorry. You probably didn’t expect flirting to be met with harsh personal truths.”

“Not entirely,” she huffed, searching within herself to find emotion beyond the fog of slight, confronting sadness. Although she didn’t have the first clue as to whence it came, she did manage to grab hold of something else, something warmer and sweeter and altogether more appealing.

Relief.

For some unknown reason, this was what did it, this conversation was what finally pushed her to finish scaling the wall of her own anxieties. Dana was right - utterly and totally right. Whilst she'd already believed that on some level, this reminder was what made it properly sink in. Epiphanies like this weren’t new, but until now they had been fleeting, enduring only in the heat of climax and abandon. This time, however, this time it felt as if a line had been drawn. The ground wasn’t mouldable, ever-changing sand but wet clay, hardening beneath the blazing, sunny heat of her conviction.

It didn’t change her dramatically, it didn’t divert the course of her life, and - to an outsider - it probably didn’t do anything at all. But Stella felt changed. She dropped her arms from around Dana’s neck, slipping down within their hug to hold onto Dana’s waist as she leant forwards to also rest against her shoulder.

“What was the second thing?”

If Dana was confused by the sudden shift in Stella’s demeanour, then she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she carried on as if nothing had happened. “When you told me you didn’t want to take the collar off, what did you mean? Because it sounded like you never wanted to take it off.”

Stella pondered what to say to that because, in all honesty, Dana had hit the nail on the head. On the day in question, she’d caught herself mindlessly touching her throat more than once, imagining the collar and the relaxation that came with it. The first time they’d used it had been intense, but that had been caused by her underestimation of what it would do to her mental state. Now? Now it was grounding and calming to a degree that little else compared.

“That’s what I meant,” she answered quietly. “It’s not feasible, I’m aware, but I think I can be excused for a few irrationalities that day.”

“It could be, if you wanted. Or something like it anyway.”

She was glad that her perplexed frown couldn't be seen, hidden as it was by how she’d slowly tucked her face into the crook of Dana's neck. This whole line of discussion had come as a surprise, and she felt lost as to the path it was taking.

“I don’t think I understand.”

Her girlfriend sighed again. “Do you remember talking to me about jewellery? A way to tell me you’re consenting without actually saying it?” Her slight nod signalled for Dana to continue. “Well, I was looking into that and I came across something else. Apparently, some people use day collars-”

“Yes,” Stella said immediately, feeling a rush of heat spread across her cheeks as she realised quite how eager she sounded. But it was alright, Dana wouldn’t judge her; she knew that now.

“Okay,” Dana chuckled. “That’s firmly on the table then.”

“Mmm, I like it when you’re firm.”

“Shh, Stel. I’m not finished yet.”

Dutifully, she set her lips into a straight line - even though Dana couldn’t see her face - and shuffled an inch or so forward on her knees to press their bodies tighter against one another. They were so close that Stella could feel every breath she took, every miniscule shift and sway of her body, every working muscle and faint heartbeat that showed how wonderfully alive she was.

“Good girl.” Dana paused to wait out her happy reaction, made even stronger by the time that had passed since she was last praised. “They mean different things for different people. Some have whole ceremonies, a bit like a wedding. But for us, I think it would be a lot more casual. And we’d have to talk about what it meant, I don’t want our relationship to change overnight just because you’re collared.”

Mulling over the idea, she wondered how it would work. “So I’d wear it all the time?”

“If you want to, or only at home, or just on the weekends. It’s up to you really.”

“But what about when I’m at the office? I don’t know if anyone would believe that I’ve found a sudden love for turtlenecks.”

Dana laughed, shaking both of their bodies with each hearty tremble. “Maybe not. But it doesn’t have to be a literal collar, it could be anything. The only people who’d know what it means are us.”

“Is this some sort of long con to buy me more jewellery?” She rolled her eyes before letting them fall closed whilst she cuddled further in.

Offering a dramatic, entirely unbelievable gasp, her girlfriend remarked, “Never!”

“Because if it is,” she continued undeterred, starting to roll her hips ever so gently, slowly pressing her sex against Dana’s stomach. “I’m not complaining.”

In what little air could be considered as inhabiting the gap between them, she felt their conversation draw to a natural endpoint. Dana’s arms tensed around her, encouraging her movements, and whatever had sparked earlier suddenly reignited, fueled not just by latent arousal but anticipation too. She hadn’t gone so far as to count the days since Dana last took a dominating role in the bedroom, but they hadn’t passed without notice either.

“I did think about you wearing it at work,” Dana admitted. “A simple necklace, something no one would ever think about. But you’d know why you’re wearing it, you’d know what it means.”

She groaned at the mere thought. “Yes, Dana.”

“Stop.”

Had she managed to say the wrong thing? She didn’t think so, but she must’ve done something wrong. Why else would Dana ask her to stop? However, as Stella slid back on her thighs and looked up at her face, her lips curled up into a smirk and her eyes gleamed with excitement. It was the look of someone with an idea.

“If you want to ride me so badly, get out the strap.”

“Yes, Dana,” she jumped at the chance, letting the vague familiarity of submission wash over her. Without fully getting up, she swung her leg over Dana’s thighs to kneel beside her before bending over her lap and reaching out towards the bottom drawer in the bedside table. She wobbled for a second, but between the hand she planted on the floor in front of her and the grip that Dana took on the backs of her thighs, she was able to rifle through the drawer without falling.

Just as she began to sit back up, Dana stopped her with a tap on her ass. “Not that one.”

Thinking wasn’t made any easier by being halfway upside down and the hair falling around her face meant she couldn’t see what she was looking for. But she was pretty sure she’d grabbed the right thing. One of the harness straps was nestled against her palm and they definitely didn’t own anything else that would feel the same. Oh. They did own something else however, something without any straps at all.

“That’s better, honey.”

She smiled to herself for getting it right on the second try and let Dana help her back up onto the bed, trying not to be a deadweight but failing miserably whilst her body gave in to her girlfriend’s more controlling tendencies. Her leg was lifted back over to straddle Dana’s thighs and her arms were picked up to lay back around Dana’s neck once the toy was pulled from her grasp.

The redhead glanced up at Stella’s blissed out expression for a moment, then looked down to push the short, curved end of the toy inside herself. Stella obviously couldn’t feel what was happening, but her state of mind was almost transcendent and her senses reacted as if Dana’s body was somehow metaphysically connected to her own. Her abdominal muscles clenched when the toy was pushed further to sit flush against Dana’s pelvis, and she watched as the end protruding from between her thighs jerked slightly back and forth from what she imagined were kegel exercises.

“Can I...” she trailed off, her eyes flicking between Dana’s face and the toy cock between her legs.

“Ask me nicely.”

One of Dana’s hands stroked her hip whilst the other grasped the toy, and Stella bit her lip momentarily, thinking about how good it felt to be back here - how good it felt to have her girlfriend take control again. “Please can I ride your toy, Miss?”

“That’s my polite girl,” Dana purred. “Lift up for me.”

She raised herself up onto her knees, taking her weight off Dana’s thighs, and let her body be guided down by the hand still on her hip. It wasn’t the biggest toy they owned, and she’d been fucked with dildos that were both longer and wider before, but every twitching movement and stifled noise reminded her how shared this experience was. In that way, it was better than anything. Dana’s brow furrowed as Stella sank further and she leaned in to kiss her tense forehead.

Once she was settled in her girlfriend’s lap, she rolled her hips to feel how the toy pressed against them both. The base was curved so that the end inside her sat over Dana’s clit before bending around to the shorter side, and right inside the base between them she knew there was a vibrator just waiting to be turned on. But it wasn’t up to her, she reminded herself; it was up to Dana. So she behaved as best she could and hoped beyond hope that her girlfriend was hiding even a modicum of the frenzy that she was failing to hide herself.

Dana wrapped both arms around her waist - where they belonged, in her mind anyway - and alternated between kissing and licking up along the side of her throat. “I thought you wanted to ride me. I’m not going to do it for you.”

Although it wasn’t a question, she answered, “yes, Miss,” and used her arms as leverage to push up off Dana’s shoulders.

Stella couldn’t move far within Dana’s hold but she made what little freedom she had count. Her hips rocked with each slow rise and her thighs warmed with the mild burn of exertion. She was sensitive already from being fingered not half an hour ago, and the silicone shaft inside her was a lot less forgiving than her girlfriend’s fingers, pushing at her internal walls and forcing her to ripple and shudder around every inch. Her head fell to the side and she rested once more against Dana’s shoulder as her eyes fell closed, leaving her neck exposed to be claimed with yet more wet kisses.

“Ohh,” she moaned gently as a hand drifted from the small of her back to push between their bodies and turn on the vibrations that quickly flooded through her.

“That’s it, baby,” Dana muttered beneath her breath, seemingly also losing herself in this heady return to domination. “You want to be mine all the time, don’t you? Even when you’re in charge; I’ll let you take control because it won’t last. We both know you’ll go back to being my good little slut soon enough.”

“Yes, Miss,” she breathed, pushing down against Dana’s pelvis to grind both of their clits against the toy. Her girlfriend’s hand retook its place on her back and soon she was being held down to keep the strap deep inside her whether she wanted to start thrusting again or not. “I’m yours.”

That, she realised, as Dana had so eloquently put it, was what she wanted. She still certainly enjoyed the odd chance to lead - to take her girlfriend in hand for the night until they both lay there panting, spent, and entirely sated. However, it had become the lesser choice - not in passion but frequency - and the idea of Dana ‘allowing’ her those moments made them sound even more thrilling than before. Whenever the next time came, Stella knew that she would have a lingering thought, telling her to fully utilise the opportunity whilst it lasted. In turn, perhaps Dana might take out on her exactly what she’d given to begin with.

New avenues of fantasy opened up in her mind and she ran down them headfirst, feeling the burn in her thighs deepen as her hips ground mercilessly against Dana’s upper thighs and her brain forged novel connections - linking everything, every thought and every feeling, straight back to her girlfriend. She was surrounded and completed and filled; she was lost in pleasure and found in honest understanding; she was helpless to the deadly currents of her own desire, yet never had she felt such empowerment as this.

With strangely powerful clarity, she recalled her earlier questioning. Inebriating complications and accoutrements, that’s how she’d described them. Inebriating in the ways of that first, delicious sip of a favourite wine after a long day; a time-pressured kiss when both parties really should be heading elsewhere; a lazy meeting of tongues, musty with sleep, that serves to convince no one of getting up for the day.

Once she'd trod each mental path, choosing to avoid the trails themselves in favour of walking barefoot through the dewy grass to either side, she was drawn back into the fray by sweet whisperings.

“You’re so soft.” Dana punctuated the comment by stroking her skin, running up and down her spine whilst she relaxed her upper body and moved only with her core, hips, and thighs. “You don’t do it any other time, but I love how you soften for me. All I have to do is touch you.”

“Mmm,” she hummed and nodded her head against Dana’s shoulder. “Only for you. I can’t help it.”

“I don’t want you to help it.”

Taking charge of more than just her body’s natural reaction, Dana slung an arm back around her waist and took over from her in every way possible. Stella felt her other hand slide up across the nape of her neck and she let herself be gently pulled by her hair until their lips could meet. Her mouth was barely open before Dana pushed inside and her tongue was heavy whilst it was lapped at and toyed with, but she didn’t care at all.

Dana could do what she liked, take whatever she wanted, and Stella would be more than happy to let her.

Had she not been overtaken by the simplistic urge to submit, she might’ve done so anyway to prove the point that wearing a collar wasn’t a need but a want - albeit a deep-seated, borderline carnal want. She didn’t need the constant reminder of Dana’s control in unhealthy lieu of therapy or some other personal growth, although therapy might not have been all that bad an idea regardless. She wanted the reminder, craved it, and the mounting arousal that Dana was presently fueling only confirmed that want to her. Intimacy could be healing, she knew that to be true, but there was also an innate freedom in wanting and choosing something for reasons of pleasure rather than fear.

It was an addition instead of a detraction, an unorthodox but nevertheless formalised exchange.

Dana held her tighter, plunging deeper into her mouth, and she gave up on all higher thought to focus on the here and now. Tiny, whimpered sounds were volleyed with satisfied groans and she was only halfway sure of who was making either noise. The corners of her lips were as damp with saliva as her inner thighs were with cum; the easily pliable state of her body was matched by her mind and she confidently assumed that Dana would lead her over the rapidly oncoming precipice.

She was right to assume, of course, and with one final tug of Dana pulling their bodies together, she fell with a thudding heart and a carefree soul. Through the distance of her climax, she could just about sense Dana coming with her. Shaky movements caused the still vibrating toy to shift inside her and she let out somewhat of a squeal at the feeling. Her legs trembled and her abdomen twitched, all of which made the sensation stronger whilst a warmth built up deep in her sex.

It was as she came down that she found out the extent of her orgasm. Her inner thighs weren’t damp any longer; they were wet and humid with a dripping coating of her arousal.

Reaching down to turn off the toy, Dana helped her sit up high enough to carefully pull either end out of their bodies before casting it aside on the bed to be dealt with later. Stella briefly considered the state of the sheets where the toy sat, but she soon realised that they’d have to be changed altogether if it was anything like the last time.

Thankfully, however, she felt none of the shame and self-conscious worry that had resulted in Dana persuasively making love to her what seemed like so very long ago. Squirting didn’t turn her on like it did her girlfriend - although if the roles were reversed, she imagined her feelings would be more similar to Dana’s - but neither did it bother her. It had simply happened; she let the mental energy she might’ve used on shame turn instead towards the self-accomplished pride that she knew it would elicit in Dana.

“Come here, honey.” Dana raised her own legs to move Stella closer before she had time to respond. “Fuck, I love you.”

A quiet giggle escaped her kiss-swollen lips as she nuzzled against her girlfriend’s collarbone, harbouring her own small sense of pride at having reduced Dana to swearing in order to get her point across. But before she could get any more comfortable, she flinched when Dana’s fingers swiped between her labia.

“Lean back. Stick your tongue out.”

Wearing a bemused frown, she leant back against the arm that had stayed snug around her waist and met her girlfriend’s eyes whilst slowly sticking out her tongue. It wasn’t exactly hard for her to work out what would happen next, but the strictness with which Dana had given the demand was new. She was surprised and aroused in equal measure.

Dana ran her fingers across Stella’s sex again and then lifted them up towards her open mouth. Stella tried to hold still as her own wetness was wiped down her tongue, but the concentration that it took made her frown harder, and she could see a lightness in Dana’s eyes that suggested the redhead was trying not to laugh. She knew it wouldn’t be malicious, so she deliberately softened her expression into more of an open-mouthed pout - fully aware of how ridiculous she looked - and waited for Dana to lose her composure.

“Sorry,” Dana snickered, breaking into a grin. “You’re beautiful.”

“I -ow, -igh-?” She rolled her eyes to better get her sarcastic message across.

Beginning to laugh openly thanks to her demonstrably unbothered attitude, Dana lunged the short distance forwards to reach her face. She continued to hold still, pretending not to react whilst the mixture of cum and saliva was licked from her tongue, but soon she needed no falsehoods whatsoever. Dana moaned as she swallowed, savouring her taste, and Stella was free to air her enthusiasm when they shared another breathtaking kiss.

The musk of her arousal lay thick on their tongues and she raked her nails up the back of Dana’s neck, using a light enough pressure to make the skin beneath her hand break out in goosebumps without leaving any marks. Although she managed to earn a deep, whimpered exhale from her actions, what she also got in response to her minor seizing of control was a vice-like tightening of the grip around her waist and a sharp smack on the side of her ass. If only they’d worked to discourage her.

“Behave,” Dana warned in a husky, predatory tone. Their lips were barely parted far enough for her to make the words out and Stella couldn’t help but push the boundaries a little further, staring straight into the blurry depths of her girlfriend’s eyes as she dragged her nails over her skin for a second time.

In a flash, her arms were yanked down and shoved behind her own back, forced there by a grip on her wrists that left her fingers pulsing with each resounding beat of her heart. She put up a halfhearted fight, struggling a bit in order to feel Dana take even more ownership of her. Between their earlier walk and the rather strenuous activities that they’d partaken in ever since, there was a thin film of sweat coating both of their bodies; some inner, primal part of her loved how it filled the air with the smell of sex overlaid by her girlfriend’s natural scent.

“I warned you.”

“What are you going to do?” She jutted her chin and gave another goading tug with her arms, unable to stop herself from squirming against Dana’s thighs when her wrists were squeezed. “Punish me?”

“Lie down over my lap, like you did earlier.”

“And what if I refuse?”

The redhead let out a low, dangerous laugh - one that Stella had never heard before - and pushed her off to one side, moving her into position. “You shouldn’t.”

As they both well knew, Stella didn’t actually want to refuse, so she pretended to huff in defeat before laying herself over Dana’s thighs and hanging her head and arms over the side of the bed. She planted one hand on the floor as she had done earlier and clenched her thighs together when cool air hit her damp, cum-smeared skin. Her legs stretched out across the other side of the bed and her thoughts stilled due to a combination of subspace and headrush.

Dana spoke slowly, appearing to come up with her reasoning right as she was saying it, but Stella didn’t care. She didn’t need to be given a reason to enjoy this anyway.

“Until I collar you and show you who’s really in charge, I guess I’ll have to remind you in other ways,” she stroked her hand across Stella’s ass to signify what was coming, “and maybe then you’ll start behaving like a good girl.”

“I’m already-” Stella lifted her head to carry on talking but Dana got there first, pushing her back down over the side of the bed with enough caution not to injure her whilst still remaining forceful. “I’m already your good girl,” she affirmed into the side of the mattress.

“We’ll see about that.”

She took the spanking fairly well, all things considered, and tried her best not to flinch on the occasional, harder smacks. The repetitive feeling gave her something to focus on in a quasi-meditative way and her mind drifted to the supposed ‘reason’ for which this was happening. Had any former partner - or more realistically, any of the people she’d fucked because calling them partners was a stretch - suggested collaring her with a necklace, she would’ve openly laughed at the idea. To be fair, had any of them suggested a collar in the bedroom, she would’ve had the same reaction, unless perhaps she was the one collaring them.

But with Dana? With Dana, it was no laughing matter at all. It was sweet and sexy and possibly even a tad romantic. She thought back to earlier - an unorthodox exchange. That it certainly was. Could the unorthodoxy be what appealed most? Stella knew that she wanted to marry the woman, once she finally built up the courage to ask at least, and maybe this could be considered a step in that direction.

There were other reasons for people to be collared, of course, and not all of them were intertwined with ongoing romantic relationships. However, for these two, for this dynamic of theirs, it was as much a part of their relationship as any other. She wanted Dana to spank her until her ass was splotched with hues of red and love her deeply in the very same breath; she wanted to feel leather around her neck and a fiery warmth in her heart; she wanted the touching moments of affection as much as she did the electrified passion of sex so rough that it left her aching the next day.

She wanted it all, quite frankly, anything that Dana would give her, and she smiled against the side of the bed as the spanking ceased. Dana rubbed her thighs and massaged her back, listening out for her quietly relieved groans and reading her body like a practised cartographer. Neither of them had the energy for another round and Stella hummed gratefully when she was pulled back onto the bed. She wasn’t made to do any of the work, letting Dana move her limbs and cuddle her gently, and she muttered, “thank you,” before drifting into sleep.

When she awoke, they would have to deal with the state of the bed - still damp from their exploits. She would have to live with the fact that her ass would be sore for a day or two, and more so she would have to live with Dana’s inevitable need to give her the best possible care throughout. But she couldn’t exactly call that a hardship, and regardless, she didn’t have to think about it yet.

All she had to do was sleep and - after such an energetic, satisfying few hours - sleep she very well did.

Notes:

this chapter took me a while to write because seasonal depression hit me like a truck (a petty, annoying as hell truck) and my uni course started back up, so I'm taking a break from this fic for about a month or so. it will definitely, absolutely be continued!! (I have far too many plans to drop it now haha) it'll just be most likely after I've finished my exchange fic.

please let me know what you think, if you feel so inclined!

Chapter 15: Discussion II

Notes:

tw: discussion of self-harm

I guess 'mid-november' was rather optimistic of me. oops. thank you as ever to Amber for all of your help!!

Apparently, it was Dana’s turn to feel nervous, and the longer they sat there, the more she empathised with the hesitations Stella had displayed the last time they did this.

She tried to keep herself under control, tried not to let her gaze flit to the mantlepiece too often, and tried to think about anything other than the jewellery boxes she had hidden there earlier. They were tucked behind a picture frame, barely out of view, and she knew that they wouldn’t evade her girlfriend’s curiosity if she looked in their direction for much longer.

Stella had a habit of seeing right through her at the best of times; she wanted to keep this temporary secret for as long as she could.

Well, it wasn’t entirely a secret. Stella had some idea of what she’d bought - had been the person to initially suggest it, in fact. But rarely did Dana get a chance to surprise her, and she knew it would be too sweet a sight to pass up if she could only get through a single conversation without giving away the fact that she’d already purchased them.

Stella, on the other hand, wasn’t just lacking in the jewellery-induced nerves department. Seemingly, she wasn’t nervous at all. Her demeanour was casual, her body was resting easily across the sofa - wrapped up in a warm cardigan, and her face was lacking in any of the hallmark anxious tells that Dana had become used to seeing from her whenever discussions of this ilk surfaced. It was a small but noticeable shift from her former self, one that had been marked by their last true encounter with their power dynamic when she’d relaxed completely in Dana’s arms.

“Sorry for needing this,” Dana apologised, unable to think of much else to say.

Stella gently prodded her near thigh with a toe and smiled when she dared to look up. “It’s alright, darling. We can have as many conversations as we need to, and I think I can guess at least one of the things you want to talk about.”

“What’s that?”

Although she was fairly certain they were on the same page, it wasn’t something she wanted to be wrong about, and perhaps it was the slightly cowardly route, but she knew it would be easier if Stella was the one to bring it up. She did, however, take a second to appreciate the emphasis with which Stella spoke. This was a joint discussion with shared responsibility; it wasn’t all on her.

“Self-harm, or rather, not self-harm - if that makes sense.”

“Go on,” she replied. Picking up the foot against her thigh, Dana slowly began to massage her arch, feeling but mostly ignoring the faint ridges along which textured skin smoothed out into scar tissue.

“Firstly,” Stella began, shuffling down against the sofa’s arm and closing her eyes. Dana wondered whose benefit that was really for. “I’m not telling you this to convince you of anything. I want to reassure you, not pressure you into saying yes for my sake, and if your answer is still no then don’t feel that it warrants any kind of drawn out explanation on your part. But if your worry is that consensually hurting me somehow mimics my history with self-harm, then hopefully I can allay some guilt.

“I don’t believe I’m qualified enough in the workings of my own mind to say for certain that the two acts bear no connection, however, they don’t bear a conscious one that I’m aware of. I had my own reasons for self-harming, as I imagine everyone in that circumstance does, and I won’t pretend to have forgotten how useful I found it back then - how relieving. Whether or not it was the right choice to make, it served a purpose and I came to rely on it for a time. I won’t discredit the struggles of my youth by suggesting that it was a trivial matter, even though I wouldn't make the same choice today.”

When she prodded again, Dana took the hint and swapped over, massaging her other foot whilst she continued on with her explanation. Her words were delivered in a remarkably calm tone considering the topic. Although, given her history, it made sense. Thinking about this was nothing new to her; these scars had been there for the majority of her life.

“With you however, with the... I don’t entirely know what to call it. When you do things that cause pain or mark me in some way, I’m not sure I can express how different it feels. I’m not punishing myself because of a deep seated sense of self-hatred; I’m not seeking to control otherwise uncontrollable, raging emotions; it’s not an attempt at communicating inner distress as some sort of cry for help; and I don’t wish to actively cause myself injury, though I’m more than aware of the inherent risk it may pose.”

Dana’s surprise at the thorough nature of Stella’s speech must’ve come through in her expression, because as soon as the blonde’s eyes opened, a further explanation was offered.

“Those reasons aren’t all personal to myself and my past; I simply want to emphasise to you how different the two acts are in my mind.”

“Thank you.”

Her honest gratitude made Stella’s lips curl into a small, slight smile. “Again, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, but this is how I see it. More than anything, I trust you. I know you don’t have the same intentions for me as my younger self did. Looking in the mirror and finding marks that you’ve left across my body feels empowering to me, because they remind me of how hard I’ve worked to be someone who can trust another person as much as I trust you, and someone who can feel as if they deserve even a modicum of the trust you have in me. That’s perhaps the biggest difference in my view - self-respect.”

“Come here,” she requested, her voice filled with an unintended streak of pride.

Stella swung her legs to the floor and got up, walking right over to her and straddling her lap with barely a second’s delay.

“Do you find talk of self-respect arousing, darling?”

She looked up, pawing at Stella’s waist like a cat with a new toy, and smiled as arms encircled her neck with a similarly possessive hold. Whatever the particulars of any dynamic they might indulge, Dana knew that she was as much Stella’s as Stella was hers. The explanation had done exactly as first intended. She didn’t regret her hesitations because she refused to believe that treating her girlfriend with delicacy or caution would ever be a bad idea, but she did now trust that those hesitations had been founded in situational panic rather than sensible rationale.

“Maybe,” she said, entertaining the question even whilst knowing that it hadn’t been seriously meant. “Try me.”

If Stella found the idea ridiculous, she didn’t comment on it. Instead, she lifted one hand to run her fingers through her hair and began minutely rocking her hips, putting on a seductive front for the woman whom had long since been under her spell.

“I have value as a person; I matter.”

Dana tugged her closer and hummed in agreement. “Yes, you do, honey.”

“I’m worthy of love, and I’m improving when it comes to both accepting that from others and giving it to myself.”

Her breathy, husky tone was having its intended effect, but Dana could still detect a faint lightness beneath it, evidencing that they were both seeing the silly side to this conversation.

“So worthy,” she muttered as she leant in to kiss the side of her neck.

“My emotions deserve to be honoured rather than suppressed. They might not always be helpful, but I should still listen to myself and use them as a chance to reflect.”

She unbuttoned Stella’s cardigan and trailed kisses down her collarbone, groaning melodramatically against her skin. “I’ll honour you until you beg me to stop.”

“I’m allowed to let myself feel secure in a relationship with someone who values me as much as you do.”

“Kinky,” she whispered, trying and failing not to laugh.

It didn’t take long for Stella to break too, and so they laughed together, holding each other and basking in the chance to be completely carefree. In no other part of their wider lives could they be this unguarded, and she always loved to see her girlfriend like this. Stella was stripped bare: free of her protective work persona, wearing the kind of clothes that she would never dare leave the house in, and all the while discussing a topic that - despite her earlier composure - was still deeply personal. Dana felt privileged to be the person whom she felt safe enough with to joke about things like this.

“I do have one request though.” Stella pushed her cardigan off one shoulder and gestured towards the base of her neck where Dana had last marked her, though the bruise was long gone. “I made an... unfortunate discovery in the changing rooms at the pool. In the moment, it didn’t occur to me that what is covered by a shirt may not be by a swimming costume - at least until I was glaringly presented with that fact in the mirror.”

Dana grimaced at the thought of causing her embarrassment. “Sorry.”

“It’s no one’s fault. If I didn’t think of it then I don’t see why you should’ve been expected to. But if you do ever decide to do anything like that again - not that you have to - then it might be better off done somewhere more discreet.”

“Where?” She dragged a hand up the blonde’s side and across her chest, settling over that memorable spot at the base of her neck. “Show me.”

Badly hiding her excitement at the willingness being shown to her, Stella put her hand over Dana’s and slid them both down her sternum, moving across until their fingertips were tugging at the strap of her loose vest top and revealing more of her chest.

“Here.” Stella pressed their hands against the outer, upper slope of her breast.

She sported a lazy grin as she leant forward, staring up into Stella’s bright, eager eyes for as long as she could, but her own closed when her lips found purchase. Her forehead pressed against the front of the blonde’s shoulder and her hand dropped back to her waist, keeping a firm grip. Arms clenched tighter around her neck the more force she applied with her mouth.

When she was done, Dana pulled back, keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the wet patch of skin whilst it turned pink. However, she couldn’t look for very long. A hand reached up into her hair and suddenly her head was forced back, tilted far enough for Stella to kiss her easily - and, as it so happened, incredibly enthusiastically. She could barely think; she was completely surrounded. Stella was on top of her, squirming in her lap, and plunging into her mouth.

But once intelligible thought finally returned, she had an idea.

She untangled Stella’s hand from her hair and pushed the blonde from her lap onto the sofa. Her actions earned a struggling yelp and she chuckled mercilessly before quickly clambering over to stop her from sitting up again. Dana’s limbs pinned her down, forcing her legs apart with a knee against either thigh whilst her wrists were grabbed and held against the cushion above her head. Her attempts to fight back were feeble and unmotivated, but ultimately rather adorable; they revealed just how happy she was to submit.

This time when they kissed, Dana took the lead, running her tongue across the parting of her lips before slipping between them with gentle confidence, entirely certain that she would be allowed to venture further. She was right, of course, and Stella’s body relaxed beneath hers.

“You’re not in charge,” she said, pulling away to look down at her blurry face. “So don’t act like you are.”

“Sorry, Miss.”

Hearing that response made Dana lose her own sense of control, and she moved sideways to grind her own left thigh up against her clothed sex, letting words make way for the clumsy, desperate reacquainting of their lips. Stella’s right leg - now free from the weight of her own leg - wrapped around her hip and gave her more access.

Surprising Dana with her forwardness, Stella began to beg almost as soon as they stopped kissing. “Please fuck me.”

“I like the attitude, baby. What’s gotten into you?”

“You,” Stella whined. “Hopefully sometime soon.”

She gave herself a second just to take it in - listening to the blonde’s needy tone and memorising her pouting expression. It wasn’t Dana’s first time seeing her like this, but she’d always needed to do a lot more teasing before Stella would allow herself to behave this way. A new sense of confidence was emerging; it made her smile.

“Not yet. You’ve got a couple of presents to open first.”

Confusion furrowed Stella’s brow and pursed her lips, but it couldn’t conceal the excitement that still lingered in her eyes, glistening brighter every time her lack of control was reasserted. “Presents?”

They’d spoken more about the specifics of each item since first bringing the ideas up with one another, but actually choosing and purchasing the jewellery had entirely been left up to Dana - at her own request. Stella was never particularly good at receiving gifts. That’s not to say she wasn’t polite or grateful; it was more a matter of not quite being able to understand why someone would give her a gift in the first place. Formulaic gifts in the workplace were one thing. She could understand the etiquette of an offering from mentor to mentee, or a collective gesture for a retiring colleague. But life had not been so kind as to make any other sort of gift a normal occurrence to her, not for a long time.

A lack of understanding had never stopped Dana from trying, even if she was met with a stiff, awkward reaction when Stella predictably didn’t know how to respond. Birthdays and Christmases had slowly become easier with each passing one. Dana had come to learn that her girlfriend reacted best to small, helpful items that could immediately be put to use. Equally, Stella had come to learn that being thought about in this way wasn’t so uncomfortable as she’d once thought - at least not when Dana was the person thinking about her.

However, it was neither Christmas nor Stella’s birthday, and these gifts were rather more lavish than Dana’s usual attempts. In a sense, her mere acceptance of Dana buying jewellery for her was a gift in itself - a sign that she was trying to offer something too, trying to meet somewhere in the middle.

“Yes, presents,” Dana replied as she stood up, lifting off Stella to grab the boxes from their hiding place on the mantelpiece. She slipped the smaller box into the pocket of her pyjama trousers and held the larger one, handing it over to Stella before sitting back down.

“How much did you spend?”

“That doesn't matter.”

It was hard to take Stella’s frustration seriously like this, accompanied as it was by a pout in her semi-submissive state. Dana chuckled when she quickly yielded.

“I’m not always in charge of you,” the redhead explained, pulling her closer and fondly stroking the side of her head whilst her eyes never strayed from the jewellery box in her hands. “But I’m always here for you. Whenever you’re having a hard day, I hope this will help you remember that. You can open it now, honey.”

As soon as Stella opened the box, light from the nearby lamp hit the necklace, casting her face in a warm, golden glow. It was difficult for Dana to imagine that she could ever look more beautiful than she did now. Externally, her features were bathed in a sheen that would make sunlight look like a bad imitation. Internally, however, was something altogether breathtaking: the way she lit up with unadulterated joy, the way her lips thoughtlessly lifted into a wide smile, and the way her chest moved at the release of a quiet gasp.

If submission was what allowed her to react like this, then Dana vowed to get her into this state before ever trying to give her another gift again. Her happiness was utterly magical.

“I love it,” Stella whispered. Her fingers trailed over the necklace for a minute or so before she looked up and spoke again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, honey. It took me a while to find the right one, but I wanted it to be perfect.”

The necklace that Stella was so ardently staring at - the necklace that Dana had stared at for a fair while before deciding to make the purchase - seemed to fit its future wearer. Made from gold, its design was a delicate take on a style often considered rather masculine. The byzantine chain was squared off, each interwoven link sitting snug to the next, and in total no wider than five millimetres across. It had been a struggle to find a chain this short, such a struggle, in fact, that Dana had ended up buying the shortest one she could find and then having it shortened further still. But in the end, all of that effort was made worth it by the look on Stella’s face.

Stella thrust the open box in her direction and got off the sofa to kneel in front of her, nearly vibrating with enthusiasm. “Can you put it on me, please?”

“Of course I can.”

Her gaze flitted back and forth between Stella’s face and the necklace as she took it out of the box. Discarding the box to one side, she smiled down at the blonde and leant forward, taking hold of either end of the chain and carefully wrapping it around her neck. The length turned out to be just right, and once done up, it sat at the base of her throat, giving her enough room to not be constricting whilst also remaining snug against her skin.

“Now for the rules,” Dana said, cupping her face with both hands. They’d already gone over these when talking about what Stella wanted, but she felt it was worth going over them again. “If you need to, you’re allowed to take it off yourself. So that means anything medical, work-related, whatever - if you need to take it off then that’s okay. But if you don’t need to, you have to come to me and we can talk about it. It’s still a collar, even if it doesn’t look like one, and I still get final say on whether or not you’re wearing it. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Dana.”

Stella nodded so vigorously that the movement shook Dana’s hands off her face, leaving them both to laugh. They’d have to talk about this later, she thought, how carefree Stella had recently become. But for now, all she wanted to do was enjoy it.

“Come here, honey.”

She pulled Stella up off the floor and onto her lap, hugging her fiercely and delighting in how she giggled at the affection. It was as if all of the anxieties that usually plagued her had disappeared entirely.

“I’ve got one more thing for you.” Dana let go with one hand to pull the smaller box out of her pocket and flip the lid open with her thumb, presenting the bracelet inside for her to see. “What do you think?”

Rolling her eyes, Stella hid her revealing grin by leaning into Dana’s shoulder, muffling each word against her skin. “You’ve spent far too much money on me. That’s what I think.”

Dana lifted her hand from Stella’s back up to her hair, gently massaging the back of her head whilst trying to come up with a reasonable defence. Sometimes the decision to build a life with a smart, passionate detective didn’t seem like such a good idea. There were certainly easier people to convince. But what she noticed whilst thinking, what made her confidence in her decisions grow, was that one of Stella’s hands went straight to the necklace, toying with the chain between her fingers as if it might've already provided a level of comfort.

“First, that’s impossible, because nothing is ever wasted if it’s for you. Second, you know I’m too boring and sensible to buy something I can’t afford. Third-”

“Fine,” Stella interrupted, lifting her head to look Dana in the eye, her grin still doing its best to fight through her attempts at hiding it. “You’ve made your case.”

“No, you’re not getting off that easy. Third.” Dana paused for effect, waiting right up until Stella sighed at her dramatics. “I love you, and when I get the chance to do something for you, I take it because I know how rare it is. But if you don’t want this...”

“I didn’t say that!”

They were a picturesque antithesis to one another then. Stella grumbled at her own betrayal, unable to hold onto her detached, questioning air for any longer; Dana laughed at the sight before her, somehow managing to fall even deeper in love than she already had been. Her love for her girlfriend was like an ocean: its waters stormy on the surface, caught up in anxiety and hesitation back when a committed relationship had felt like too much to ask for; its seamounts and atoll reefs a home for sights of wonder, the first time she’d witnessed the blonde in a fit of laughter or the sleepy, private light of dawn; and its true depths were nearly unfathomable, spanning down below her as she dove headfirst, never needing to come up for air.

“I love you,” she said aloud for no other reason than because it was true.

Stella smiled softly, seemingly a touch embarrassed by her own outburst, and took the box from her hand before planting a kiss on her cheek and looking back down. “I love you too.”

“Me or the bracelet?”

“I mean this in the kindest way possible,” Stella said in such a tone that she already knew what was coming. “But feel free to stop talking.”

As silently as had been requested, Dana watched her take the bracelet out of its box. Much like the necklace, it easily caught the light of the room, shining across the simple gold expanse of the narrow, hinged cuff and only dulling slightly at the point where a lapis lazuli cabochon was set into the clasp.

Whilst looking for the right piece, Dana hadn’t found anything that immediately caught her eye. But on a grim, dreary afternoon - as was typical of the city - she’d sought refuge from the cold and the damp in a jewellers that was on her route home from work. The shop was tiny and cluttered, hidden between obnoxious, visually loud shopfronts whilst its own weather-stripped signage faded into the background of the street. To her, that had only made it more appealing.

Upon wandering through the shop, the bracelet that now sat in Stella’s hands had been amongst a collection in a display case. The others were also delicate and beautiful, yes, but they hadn’t sparked the same reaction in Dana. The particular blue of this lapis lazuli wasn’t of a fine grade, and that was perfect, for rather than looking purely blue, it gave off a hint of green. Its imperfections resulted in a shade of teal that mixed perfectly with the gold beneath it to remind her of Stella’s collar.

The decision had practically been made for her.

It was easy to catch the moment at which Stella noticed the inscription on the inner side of the cuff. She squinted as she brought it closer to her face, turning it over to right the letters, and her eyes widened upon realising what it said.

‘Property of DKS’

When the jeweller had asked if there was anything Dana wanted the bracelet to be inscribed with, it hadn’t taken her very long to work out what to say. The meaning was deliberately left vague; perhaps it only implied that the bracelet was hers to give Stella, but they both well knew that wasn’t the entirety of what she’d meant by the claim.

“You’re mine,” she said, speaking softly whilst the blonde took a few seconds to simply absorb the gesture. “But only when you want to be.”

Stella held onto her face with both hands, pressing the cool metal to her cheek, and kissed her soundly. In response, she took the empty box to discard it beside them and then pulled her body closer. They curled into one another, shifting nearer with every brush of their lips and swipe of their tongues, and Dana could feel the sentiment behind her actions. It became clear that the blonde wasn’t sure of what to say, but she was definitely sure of how she felt.

Once they parted, she smiled yet again as Stella offered up the bracelet and one wrist. The clasp made a satisfying click when it joined together, and she wiggled the cuff just to make sure that it couldn’t accidentally slip off without first being undone.

“So, when I’m wearing it...”

“It’s not like the collar. You don’t need permission to take it off,” she reminded, wrapping her hand around her wrist overtop of the bracelet. “But when you’re wearing it, I can do whatever I want to you. Except for hard limits, obviously.”

They shared a brief silence, but she could already tell what was coming next. It was made apparent in Stella’s body language - her outer leg began to shake restlessly whilst one of her hands went back to fiddling with her necklace and the other grasped at the collar of Dana’s shirt.

“Is there anything you want to do to me now?”

For someone who could usually remain so very composed, it was sweet to see just how badly she was failing now. She looked too excited, too hopeful, for her nonchalance to be believed. Although this attitude of hers wasn’t new anymore, Dana still always felt lucky to be the person whom she showed it to.

“Maybe.” The reply earned a frustrated reaction, one that was made yet worse still when Dana laughed. “Remember, this doesn’t mean I’ll definitely fuck you, it just means that’s an option.”

Quite intentionally, Dana avoided outright denial of the arousal that was building inside her, mainly because - however close to subspace the blonde might’ve been - she was still a hard person to lie to. Plus, Dana didn’t want to lie to her in the first place. She wanted to do exactly what Stella also seemed to want, but prior to that, she wanted to use at least a little of her newfound power. It felt like a waste not to try it out.

So, keeping her hand wrapped around Stella’s wrist even as it rested against her chest, she lifted the other to the back of the blonde’s neck. With a cautious push, she brought Stella close enough for their lips to meet again. Control was hers to have and she used it with the best of intentions. Each step was initiated by her: parting Stella’s lips with her tongue, pushing further and then retreating to see if she could tease out a retaliation, and taking her bottom lip between her teeth just to hear the wet, smacking sound it made when she let go. All the while, never once did she get a reaction other than blind acceptance.

Dana’s fingers plucked at the back of the necklace, slipping beneath it to apply the slightest of pressures to her throat. It was by no means enough to choke her, but the feeling did produce a surprised whimper that was quickly swallowed down.

That was the kind of noise that broke Dana’s resolve like nothing else could, and she shoved Stella off her lap to end up back in the position they’d been in not long ago - the blonde pinned down beneath her lengthways on the sofa. This time, however, she didn’t plan to stop at a mere kiss. Not at all. She grabbed the hem of Stella’s vest top and pulled it up over her head, letting both the top and the cardigan around it get caught on her arms as they lifted over her head to assist. Leaving her like that, she moved down to her trousers, dragging them down her legs and actually going to the effort of taking them off her. Although, to be fair, that was only because they’d get in the way otherwise.

She didn’t need anything beyond access to her girlfriend's body, and a thrilling rush went through her at the thought that access like this was now hers for the taking any time she saw that bracelet on her wrist.

Stella’s arms stayed dutifully raised above her head, dangling over the armrest, and her eyes followed Dana’s movements with a hint of lust about them. More than a hint, really; Stella had clearly been ready for a while.

“Stay just like that, baby.”

Bending down over her, Dana watched her face, focusing on how she reacted to the fingers that dragged through her wetness, how she shivered when two of them plunged inside her.

It could be said that their conversation had been foreplay, in one sense of the word at least, but that didn’t quite explain how comfortable Stella looked - how free. They’d talked before doing things like this in the past, and not once had the blonde slipped from words to actions so very easily whilst in submission.

Regardless, Dana wouldn’t let curiosity get in the way of desire, and once her fingers were steadily thrusting into her sex, she began to whisper in her ear. “I’m going to fuck you in every room in this house - one by one. I’ll be turned on every time I see that bracelet on your wrist, thinking about how I want to use you.”

“Yes,” Stella groaned, lurching upwards beneath her.

She could feel her girlfriend from the inside out: how her inner walls pulsed with every brush of fingertips against her g-spot, how her hips rolled to deepen the sensation, and how her arms refused to waver - trembling from pleasure but continuing to obey Dana’s instruction, staying above her head.

“You’re so hot like this - so desperate to be fucked. I can do whatever I want to you.”

“Mmhmm.” Stella’s eyes closed as she nodded. “Whatever you want.”

Taking it as the perfect opportunity to start doing just that - whatever she wanted - Dana added to what she’d done earlier. Her tongue traced over the bruise she’d already left on Stella’s breast, and she moved her lips to the unblemished skin just below it to make another one. A third followed, spurred on by a reactive moan and the upwards arch of her chest against her waiting lips. Soon a fourth, then a fifth, and it wasn’t long before she looked down at her handiwork with a self-satisfied grin.

From there, her gaze wandered, travelling over her girlfriend’s body and indulging in the view laid out before her. Stella’s eyes remained closed but her heart was open, letting Dana in completely.

“Mine,” she said, loving how Stella clenched around her fingers whilst she spoke.

Keeping her fingers deep inside her, Dana curled them against her front wall repeatedly, driving her towards climax. She had been good after all, very good indeed. A pleasured grimace crossed her features and whiny breaths spilled from her lips as her body reacted accordingly to Dana’s fingers.

“You’re close, aren’t you, baby?”

Stella let her head turn to one side, tucking her face against her upper arm. “Yes, Miss.”

Had she done that a while ago, back when all of this was far newer to them both, Dana would’ve immediately worried that it was a sign of nerves or embarrassment. But, right at this moment, Stella was shameless in her desire. They both were, and Dana sat up on her knees to prove that point, feeling the muscles in her wrist start to ache as she picked up speed.

With her fingers alone, this was as rough as she could get, and Stella seemed to be enjoying every second of it. Her palm ground against the blonde’s clit at the deepest point of each thrust, and the not-so-light touch earned a series of uninhibited noises - groans, whimpers, and anything in between. Wetness ran down the back of her hand and she bent down to lick it off, then moved straight to the source - briefly swirling her tongue around her clit, before lifting away to grab hold of her hip and pull her entire body down to meet the rough fucking she was enduring.

Not just enduring, but absolutely loving.

“Oh,” Stella gasped, her body jerking within Dana’s tight grasp.

Her orgasm was captivating to watch, first made known by the vice-like grip with which her sex held the redhead’s fingers. Then came her trembling core muscles as they contracted, pulling her in on herself and leading Dana to force her back down by her pelvis and keep fucking her all of the way through. Milliseconds later, her mouth fell open, drawing in heaving breaths between moans.

Her eyes didn’t open, not even whilst she was coming down. But that swiftly changed when Dana got off the sofa. She looked up with a disgruntled - if perhaps mildly exhausted - expression and a questioning arch to one eyebrow.

Rather than using words, Dana answered with actions. She stripped off her trousers and underwear, leaving her shirt on in order to save time, and swung her leg over Stella’s midriff to straddle her, grinding down against her stomach as soon as she made contact. Frantically, fueled by what she’d just witnessed, she tore the vest top and cardigan from her arms and dragged both of her hands down. One was placed on top of Dana’s thigh whilst the other was positioned - palm up - on Stella’s stomach, her index and middle fingers manipulated to point upwards.

Wasting no time at all, she sank down on Stella’s fingers and sighed in relief. Often - usually with a little more forethought - she was able to not get so carried away. But after seeing the blonde lying there with fingers deep inside her and a day collar around her throat? Dana couldn’t blame herself for the way she reacted to that sight.

She tipped forwards and balanced her upper body weight over her forearm, nestling it beneath Stella’s shoulders, then wrapped her other hand around her throat above the necklace. Given the collective state of them both, it would’ve been ill-advised to apply any sort of pressure. So she kept her grip loose and safe. Her hand was there simply because she could put it there, a reminder to them both of her control even whilst she was riding Stella’s fingers.

“Make me come,” she demanded.

Stella’s free hand drifted up her thigh as she rolled her hips. When it met her inguinal crease, she had a fair idea of where it intended to go next, but she waited to be asked. Despite how turned on she was, Dana wasn’t going to concede any of her current power by breaking before her girlfriend.

“Can I?” Stella gave in.

“Can you what?”

Her wicked, breathy chuckle drowned out an annoyed huff.

“Can I stroke your clit?” After a painfully slow beat came an added, “Please?”

“Good girl. Yes, you can.”

Taking on most of the work, Dana ground herself against both of her hands, feeling wetness smear further across her stomach when the pad of her thumb made contact. Stella wasn’t gentle with her and that was just how she wanted it to be. They’d had time for ‘gentle’ earlier; now was the time for anything but.

“Oh God,” she moaned, feeling her orgasm build.

Hearing her get closer, Stella’s thumb began to work harder, firmly circling her clit in exact, repetitive motions. Her growing arousal meant that her hand was less stable then. After accidentally clutching at the blonde’s throat, she quickly let go and dropped down onto both forearms, leaning in against the side of Stella’s face.

She came with a sharp intake of breath and a shuddering roll of her hips, pushing herself as hard against Stella as she could. Pleasure reverberated through her and she whimpered in spite of the persona that she was trying to embody. It didn’t matter though, not when her girlfriend made a remarkably similar noise in response.

“Thank you, Miss,” she heard, whispered in a delightfully sweet tone, whilst she was helped through the rest of her orgasm with soft, slowing strokes.

She slid a hand down between them and nudged both of Stella’s until they were gently moved away. “For what, honey?”

“For letting me make you come.”

Taking a second to think about the statement - or, more accurately, think about how it made her want to flip Stella over and fuck her again - Dana shifted to one side so that she was laying down and pressed a hand to her girlfriend’s chest. They breathed together for a minute or two, giving themselves a chance to calm down.

“I know I’ve told you this about other stuff before, but I think that’s the hottest thing you’ve ever said.”

All Stella did was laugh and wrap an arm around her shoulders to pull her into a hug.

“I mean it,” she carried on, watching her own hand as it lifted from the blonde’s chest to her necklace, stopping there to play with the chain. “You’ve been so... confident today. Not in a dominating way, it’s like you’re really letting yourself have fun.”

“I do feel more confident; I felt it last time as well. I think it's due to how much we've spoken about everything. I feel..." Stella paused to think, absentmindedly stroking her upper back. "Safe. Not that I didn't already feel like that with you, but it's taken me a while to feel safe in myself - to stop second guessing how I act and how you'll respond when I'm... submissive. God, that still feels strange to say aloud."

“Say it again.”

Stella turned to look at her, wearing a somewhat bemused expression, and so she got back up on top, bending down until that expression was blurred and hard to read because their faces were too close together to see properly.

“Say it again, honey.”

Perhaps the relent came from her refusal to drop the subject, but Dana was fairly certain that the pet name was what did it. She saw the exact point at which Stella accepted defeat and she smirked victoriously. This was the kind of thing that she wouldn’t have ever pushed so far until today; the growing confidence was freeing for her too.

“I’m submissive. Well, some of-” Stopping abruptly, Stella sighed and bit back a shy smile. “Most of the time now, with you at least.”

The smirk never left her face as she replied, “Oh, are there other people I should know about?”

“I’m not sure I want to grace that question with an answer, darling. You know that isn't what I meant.”

They held one another’s gaze, feigning severity, and though Dana couldn’t be sure who broke first, they were both laughing again soon enough. However, as much as Stella appeared a lot more comfortable now than she had upon making her own submissive admission, Dana didn’t want to drop the subject until some reassurance was offered. It might not have been quite so necessary as it had been some time ago, but that wasn’t a reason to stop.

“You’re right; I know what you meant.” She dipped down to plant a kiss on her lips, enjoying how they puckered expectantly. “I’m glad you’re feeling more comfortable though, seriously. And if you ever need a reminder, I’m happy to spend hours telling you about how I feel, and how hot you are, and how none of that’s changed for me.”

“I can even show you how I feel, if you want?” she tacked on. Leaning to one side, she placed a hand on the front of the blonde’s shoulder and stroked it all the way down her side until she was cupping her hip.

Stella wiggled beneath her and she felt a pang of worry, concerned that she’d said or done the wrong thing. But it disappeared as quickly as it had arrived, overtaken by excitement when she watched Stella raise one arm, presenting the small cuff around her wrist.

“You don’t need to ask.”

Growling out a nearly unintelligible, “fuck,” she rested her body weight down on top of her and caught her lips, kissing her urgently and rolling their hips together. It took a couple of minutes and every single ounce of Dana’s self-control to break away from her mouth after that, but she needed to pull back if she wanted to see how flushed and eager her face had predictably become.

“I think,” Stella said between panting breaths, “it will take me some time to get used to wearing these.” She glanced down at her cuff before retaking hold of her necklace. “But I’ve already grown rather fond of them.”

“Me too,” she admitted, encasing the back of Stella’s hand with her own. “I got the bracelet weeks ago, but after we talked about the collar, I wanted to wait. Then I could give you both at the same time.”

“Where did you hide it until today?”

That was, Dana realised, a question she really should’ve expected from her girlfriend. It made her chuckle. “The one place you refuse to go. The basement.”

Stella rolled her eyes but stayed quiet, which was her way of admitting defeat. It had been a wine-drunk confession that she would probably never live down, at least not with Dana. A detective superintendent who was scared of her own basement? To be fair to her, the fear had been founded as a child. One caveat to living in a childhood home was keeping some of those same superstitions about, even if they weren’t necessarily logical. Dana had learned by now to deny how cute she found the whole thing, how wonderfully antithetical this side of her girlfriend was to the professional side, but she couldn’t quite stop herself from mentioning it on rare occasions.

She was about to ask if they could get back to what they were doing, until she remembered that wasn’t required of her anymore. Instead, she lifted her hand off of Stella’s and planted it above her shoulder for stability before starting to shuffle down, trailing kisses down her neck, across her chest, and along the middle of her stomach.

Dana’s lips vibrated with her laughter when they caught on a ticklish spot just above her hip bone, and she paused to lick the patch of skin, dragging her tongue back and forth to elicit more giggles. Stella - to her own credit - simply accepted the torturous attention, squirming at every pass of her tongue but still allowing her to keep going.

“I love you, honey,” she said once she finally made it to her destination, settling between the blonde’s legs and pushing her thighs up onto her shoulders.

Stretching out luxuriously above her, Stella raised her arms back over the armrest and relaxed down into the sofa cushions.

“I love you too.”

Notes:

the next update will probably be on the 25th, but that's a kind of stand-alone fic in the overarching series. I'm then hoping to get back to updating this fic in January! my attempt at weekly updates completely flopped but I've got back my motivation for writing this fic so I'm hoping updates should become a little more regular again soon.

thank you for reading!! (and the next few chapters will definitely be a lot smuttier than this one haha)

Chapter 16: Marking

“Ahh,” she sighed, feeling a radiating, stinging pain.

Her body reacted without any deliberate effort on her part, muscles suddenly tensing as they tried to brace before releasing and causing her to sink down onto the bed.

“I would tell you that you’re taking this well,” Dana said. In the pause came another strike, another pained sigh, and another sway of her legs as her knees spread further. “But I don’t need to. Do I, honey?”

The reminder of how they’d ended up here boosted her confidence, and she took the next sharp crack of the whip with a yelped but satisfied groan.

“No, Miss. I know I’m taking it well. I asked for this.”

“Yes, you did.”

Whilst caught up in the moment, it was easier to believe that this really was a request of hers. Ever the studious partner, Dana had agreed to try out the use of a whip on the condition that time was given to research and practice first. She’d mostly stayed out of the whole thing, involving herself only when she’d come home from work one evening to find the redhead wearing safety glasses and handling a short snake whip, but the idea seemed much more intense once it was actually on the table.

In a way, she’d rather enjoyed being so distanced from the whole process. She trusted Dana to keep her safe, she trusted that nothing would happen without her ongoing consent, and she trusted the coiling warmth in her gut that had settled there upon first seeing the braided leather in her girlfriend’s hands.

However, trust hadn’t entirely abated the simmering of nerves in her chest. She had known it would hurt, and whilst pain in itself was something that she could handle without question, willingly subjecting herself to it felt like one of the bigger steps they’d taken so far. Never more so had she placed her own physical wellbeing in the hands of another. Whips took experience, caution, and if anything were to go wrong, she would take the brunt of it.

Nothing had gone wrong - yet, at least - and with each strike, she found herself relaxing further. The initial pain was violent and short lived, but the undercurrent of skin inflamed such that it almost burned kept her firmly in subspace. The reprieves between strikes grounded her only so far as to connect her with the person at the other end of the whip. The mere flick of Dana’s wrist held more control over this situation than she did.

Her own wrists were cuffed, as were her ankles. She didn’t quite know why she was cuffed, but she hadn’t felt a need to complain when Dana had told her to get on her hands and knees before pulling her down to her forearms and cuffing her limbs together respectively. Perhaps it was to make her feel safer, giving her more freedom in expressing a response to this new activity, but whatever it was for, she liked wearing her cuffs too much to feel at all bothered by it.

“Shit,” she said, lurching forwards at a particularly hard hit.

Dana barely waited for her to reposition herself, and she flinched when the whip landed directly over the same spot again. Gulping down air, she willed herself into deeper submission, focusing her mind and relishing the pain instead of fearing it, letting it fuel her with a surge of adrenaline.

“Thank!” Her attempt was briefly halted by the cast of another deep line across the backs of her upper thighs. “Thank you, Miss.”

“For what, baby?”

“For marking me.”

“Mmm,” Dana hummed, clearly pleased by her answer. “You’re welcome. I want to stop before I do too much damage, so I’m only doing five more. Count them down for me.”

“Five.” The impact moved back up to her ass.

“Four!” It crossed some of the welts that had already been left.

“Three.” The flesh of her thighs again; the pain was countered slightly by the wet heat of her sex, arousal threatening to drip down her legs.

“Two!” Straight over the last strike.

“One.” Against her ass, it was the hardest of them all. It felt like she was being struck with something bigger and heavier than the unassuming whip, and the shock of her girlfriend being so aggressive with her overtook any accompanying pain.

Dana must’ve put the whip down somewhere, because she felt hands gently easing her down until she was lying on her stomach. Her wrists were unclipped from one another, but not uncuffed, and she rolled them slowly whilst calming her breathing. The bed shifted with added weight, and a hand returned to her body, stroking up and down her back.

“I’m not done with you yet,” the redhead’s voice had lost some of its predatory undertone, “but you need a break. You’re going to lie there for a few minutes and then have some water.”

She reached her arm out in the direction that the bed had tilted towards, slipping her hand over Dana’s legs and curling it around her hip to hold onto her. “Yes, Miss.”

By the time the few minutes was up, the fog that clouded her brain had fully rolled in. The world around her almost felt like more of a dream than it did true reality. She’d been here before; intense physical experiences and overwhelming psychological experiences had pulled her into subspace a number of times, but such a powerful combination of the two was no longer just pulling her in. It was pulling her under.

Enthusiastically, she accepted the pull.

Her arms were working perfectly well, but when Dana brought a glass of water to her lips, she didn’t bother to reach out for it. After taking a sip, a stray drop was wiped from her chin and a thumb caressed her cheek. She registered little other than the warmth of physical contact.

“Ready for more?”

She nodded, perhaps a touch vaguely, and looked up at her girlfriend with a giddy smile. That soon disappeared as Dana leant down and kissed her, parting her lips with the tip of her tongue and leaving Stella to just let it happen. A slight moan escaped her when the kiss turned from gentle to sloppy; a low groan quickly followed when Dana grabbed the back of her head and deepened it further still. She’d grown to love feeling trapped - in these circumstances, anyway.

Dana moved a scant distance back, their saliva-smeared lips brushing with each whispered consonant. “I should’ve whipped you months ago. This would be a punishment for most submissives, but you look so happy right now.”

Somewhere, incredibly deep in the back of her mind, wherever the last grains of rational thought were yet to slip through her fingers, she knew the comment wasn’t entirely serious. Dana never would’ve done something like this until recently, and certainly never without being adequately confident in her continued safety. But for the moment, she took it seriously enough. Dana’s path to embracing dominance was being walked alongside her own to submission, and every step taken made her girlfriend more attractive to her than ever before.

“Yes, Miss,” she replied, edging closer not for a kiss but to simply rub the sides of their faces together. Any meeting of their lips was by chance. “Thank you for making me happy. I love you.”

“I love you too, honey.”

Cautiously, Dana lifted her back up onto her knees and moved her upright until she was kneeling. She let out an involuntary, quiet hiss at the feeling of her ass and thighs meeting her calves and heels, pressing her weight down over the welts and bruises that had already been made, but she put up no greater fuss than that. The pain was more of a deep ache than a sharp sting by now, and it was easily counteracted by the gentle touch of her girlfriend’s hands, stroking back and forth across her shoulders before positioning her arms behind her back.

Down beneath her ass, she felt the cuffs around her ankles unclip from one another, then get reattached with something else, though she couldn’t see what. Strips of leather in the shape of a cross pressed over her tailbone, and the intention became clear once her wrist cuffs were attached as well. The four way connector must’ve been used to keep her from escaping; all of her limbs were immobilised, held behind her back such that the furthest she could move would be to fall forwards onto her stomach. She didn’t want to do that, however, not once the redhead brought the next toy into her field of view.

This one, whilst novel enough, wasn’t as new as the last. As part of the practice that Dana had asked for, they’d tried flogging a few times, and Stella had been a fan from the get-go, loving the sensation of being struck with it from her very first taste. A smaller, logical part of her also appreciated that Dana had restricted the harsher whip to the area of her body most able to take a beating; her rather more sensitive chest seemed the likely next target.

Dana walked around the bed, appraising her on each lap whilst she kept as still as she could and awaited another rush of adrenaline. Every time her girlfriend slowed, she thought this would be it, this would be the moment that Dana came closer and flicked the tendrils of leather against her skin. But she was wrong the first few times, wrong to the point that her mind began to wander. She thought of ‘the boy who cried wolf’ - ‘the domme who cried flogging’ had an altogether different ring to it.

“Oh!”

Surprise made that initial strike feel even harder. The tails lashed at her skin, landing over one breast and reaching just far enough that the ends snapped down against the nipple of her other breast. Apparently, Dana had no plans to ease her in.

A rhythm developed - her breathing timing itself to the flinches of her body and the clutches of her hands against her restraints whilst Dana flogged her repetitively. She closed her eyes not long after, drawing into herself and focusing on her own strength. The experience wasn’t making her any stronger; it was reminding her of the strength she already had. She trusted her girlfriend not to go beyond her limits, and she trusted herself to find power in the knowledge that she could do this.

She’d hoped for it, wanted for it, asked for it. This was all on her. She was grateful to Dana for providing it, but she was also grateful to herself for coming to a place of understanding in which she accepted her own desires. So what if she wanted to wake up the next morning with whip marks that would hopefully last for days to come; so what if she spent a quiet minute alone in her office on slower work days, daydreaming about getting home and allowing the mask to slip away whilst her girlfriend took control; and so what if she had never found a greater sense of peace than when she was safely tied up and physically powerless?

“I love myself,” she whispered, provoked only by her internal thought processes.

The rhythm faltered and she opened her eyes, looking over at Dana and kicking herself for ruining the atmosphere with such a self-serving comment. However, in the responding expression, she saw nothing but more of that love, directed at her so entirely that it was almost tangible in the air.

“Tell me why.” Dana lifted the flogger back to her chest, dragging the soft leather tails over her reddened skin. “What are you thinking about?”

As she started to talk, Dana climbed onto the bed behind her and settled against her back, knees spread to avoid her toes and shirt fabric pressed over her restrained hands. The flogger stayed where it was, but the ends of the tails were picked up too, holding it across her chest and trapping her within her girlfriend’s hold.

“It took me quite a while to get used to enjoying submission. As you know, I didn’t even realise that it was something I might enjoy until you pointed it out.”

Dana’s nose nudged at the sensitive spot behind her ear, and she tilted her head to allow access, releasing a pleasant sigh as kisses were planted down the side of her neck and along the edge of her collar.

“But recently, finally, it no longer feels as if I have to challenge myself. I can simply be . Submitting to you doesn’t make me any less worthy or deserving of respect, and I’m proud of myself for knowing that.”

She flinched again when the flogger was abruptly dropped into her lap, but that was soon explained by Dana wrapping both arms around her middle and pulling her into a desperately tight hug from behind, nuzzling against her neck until a quiet giggle broke from her lips. The pressure being placed on her arms by her girlfriend’s chest was a little uncomfortable, but that was a small price to pay for such an outward expression of happiness towards her own pride and self-love.

One hand left her waist to trace the faint pink lines across her chest, and she felt Dana raise up slightly behind her to look down over her shoulder.

“These won’t last. They’re already fading. But I can’t wait to see what your ass looks like.”

“Me neither,” she admitted. “If the pain was anything to go by, those will be there for some time yet.”

“Having any second thoughts?” the redhead asked, cupping her right breast and teasing her nipple.

“None. It was intense, but that’s what I wanted.”

“I’m glad, baby.” Dana shuffled even closer, incidentally forcing Stella’s hands to press down against the crotch of her trousers, and licked at the side of the blonde’s throat. “If anything changes, you can always tell me, and aftercare will be just as intense whether you like it or not. I don’t want to whip my girl without taking care of her afterwards.”

She dipped her head, smiling at the thought of Dana forcefully looking after her. “Yes, Miss.”

“So well-behaved for me. Do you know what good girls get?”

“No, Miss,” she giggled, already guessing what the answer would be. “What do good girls get?”

The tip of Dana’s tongue traced the outer curve of her ear. “They get to come.”

Whilst one arm stayed wrapped firmly around her middle, she watched Dana’s other hand move down from her breasts to between her legs, beginning to stroke her sex. Fingers trailed over her labia, light as a feather, before pushing further and coating themselves in her arousal. She couldn’t see much more than that, but she most certainly felt those fingers toying with her clit and then pressing at her entrance. The feeling made her squirm, and when her thighs quivered, she was reminded of the marks across her ass. Her legs ached from being whipped and her chest started to heave from a mixture of the flogging and her growing anticipation, but she did nothing to halt or otherwise obstruct Dana’s actions. Her girlfriend could have her in any and all ways.

The one thing she did do, however, was entirely accidental. Their position and her restraints had forced her hands to sit right against Dana’s crotch. What that meant was, as their bodies inevitably moved together, her right palm became perfectly centred for Dana to grind against. In the moment, she enjoyed it. A chance to offer mutual satisfaction. But when her girlfriend reacted, she groaned at the immediate loss of contact against her own sex. Dana let go of her and sat back, leaning far enough away that Stella could no longer touch her. When she did finally regain contact, the blonde’s fingers met the bite of metal teeth, an undone fly, and her right hand was roughly shoved inside Dana’s underwear before arms slipped around her waist once more.

“It’s your turn to be in control, baby,” Dana whispered, her breath labouring under her own obvious arousal. “I’ll follow your lead. Fuck me hard, you get fucked hard. Fuck me slow, the same thing applies.”

It was laughable for Stella to believe that she had any control whatsoever, but she went along with the idea anyway. Her middle finger explored Dana’s wetness and her hand pushed deeper and deeper into her underwear until stopped by the cuff on her own wrist, unable to go any further down her arm.

Together, they found a rhythm not too dissimilar from that with which Dana had flogged her minutes ago. Their hips rocked back and forth. On each forward motion, Dana’s fingers thrusted inside her; on the back swing, hers followed suit, curling so that her fingertips could meet the redhead’s g-spot before they started the movement all over again.

It felt wonderful, erotic, and strangely equal given the fact that she was restrained and in the process of recovering from a whipping. Dana had physical control, sure, and at any point she could be surprised with something new, some change to the scene that she was completely powerless to effect herself. She liked the thought, but she also liked this pretend equality. The fact that it was a pretence excited her; knowing just how very fragile it was, how easily broken, made it feel like something worth grasping onto for as long as she could.

Once power was gone, that was it. But whilst she held power in such a tentative, fleeting grip? The stakes were so much higher. She had something to lose.

Her mind was conflicted then. In this situation, losing power meant giving it up to Dana. She knew that, inevitably, it would happen sooner or later, and she also knew that such a loss would prove fruitful in the end. They wouldn’t be here if she didn’t enjoy having her girlfriend in charge. However, as a general rule, in practically any other situation she could ever find herself in, power was something she fought bitterly for.

It was hard to reconcile the two warring approaches, and the confusion that it left her with heightened her subspace all the more.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, whining, as Dana’s fingers slipped out of her.

“Because you did,” Dana replied. “Oh, honey, did you even notice? Or are you too horny to think straight?”

She hadn’t realised, but it was true. Her hand was resting in the confines of her girlfriend’s underwear without making the slightest attempt to reciprocate. It was getting hard to focus on any one thing, and she could almost feel Dana smirking behind her at the confirmation of how dazed she was.

“Sorry, Miss.”

“It’s okay. I thought you were my good girl, but I guess I was wrong.”

“No!” she protested immediately, too deep in subspace to care about the huffing, childish nature of her voice. “I am your good girl.”

“Prove it.”

With gusto, she pushed her index and middle fingers back inside the redhead. There was no joining in this time, her own sex was left entirely alone, but she quickly understood that she needed to prove herself before Dana would reward her with an orgasm.

Given the lack of stimulation to her own body, she put the attention of her every sense onto Dana’s body. How the chest against her back moved, a victim of thrusting hips that urged her fingers deeper; how warm air tickled her neck, Dana’s panting breaths leaving their temporary mark; and how inner walls pulsed and tightened around her fingers, soaking wet with arousal and frantic in how they clung to her.

Her attention was forced away, however, when Dana’s hands lifted from her lap and waist to cup her breasts. They weren’t gentle, but strong, and she felt the security of her girlfriend’s hold even whilst that very same hold made her chest sting from the aftereffects of being flogged. The position was as protective as it was unforgiving.

“Ahh,” she sighed through gritted teeth.

Dana’s fingers had found her nipples, and she had to work hard not to let herself get distracted whilst they were teased and pinched. She would’ve much preferred it if those fingers were elsewhere - like back inside her, for instance - but she knew better than to ask for anything before her task was complete. So she clenched her jaw, ignoring the sharp, almost electric sensation that surged through her sore nipples every time they were pinched, and fingered her girlfriend as best she could.

It didn’t take long for Dana to near climax. What little relief Stella felt at the thought she might soon be rewarded was quickly overpowered by the way that Dana rocked against her, using her breasts as leverage to grind against her hand and generally treating her body like a toy - something to be used for others’ pleasure. The objectification aroused her more than she’d normally dare to admit, but subspace helped her to let go of her own judgement. If Dana enjoyed her like this, then it couldn’t be a bad thing.

Her domme’s opinions were sacrosanct.

With that in mind, she arched her back just far enough to push her ass out against her cuffed hands. The slight shift forced her breasts harder into Dana’s grasp and her fingers deeper into her sex. When Stella’s legs spread a little to keep herself balanced, she felt the welts across her ass and thighs drag painfully against her calves and heels, but rather than shy away from the pain, she revelled in it. She thought selfish, dirty things. She thought about the next time she would go to work, with secrets hidden beneath her skirt and an undeniable pep in her step; she thought about the time and planning that had gone into all of this, the effort that Dana had gone to at her request; and she thought about how important, how revered, and how loved Dana made her feel at any and every opportunity - even when that opportunity came in as rough a form as this one.

Shuddering against her back and moaning loudly just behind her ear, Dana came around her fingers. Stella kept going throughout her orgasm, helping her along whilst her internal muscles convulsed and made her tighter. Still firmly in subspace, Stella felt giddy with happiness at being able to pleasure Dana this well. She’d begun to learn, as she grew more confident, that it was sometimes fun to challenge her domme’s authority, especially when that authority was reasserted in the form of a ‘punishment’. But she didn’t always want to challenge her, and sometimes it was just as fun to be obedient. She certainly got more praise that way.

“I think you proved it, honey,” Dana laughed breathlessly.

“Thank you, Miss.”

Dana leant back to release her hand and settled behind her once more, pressing lightly against her cuffed wrists and holding either side of her waist. “Time for your reward, my very good girl.”

The giggle that left her lips was ignored by them both. She was too busy watching Dana feel her way down her stomach. There was nothing Stella could do; her hands were - quite literally - tied. Her only option was to let Dana have her way with her. The mere thought sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

That shiver morphed into a tremble that rang through her entire body as the redhead forcefully pushed three fingers inside her at once.

“Fucking hell,” she gasped over the rattling sound of her cuffs, metal clinking against metal as her body unconsciously tried to escape.

“That’s not what I want to hear.”

Despite her ass feeling like it was burning and her brain blanking whenever she tried to think, she managed to say, “Thank you, Miss.”

“I know it’s hard, baby,” Dana cooed, thrusting hard and fast inside her. “I bet you’re sore and tired after everything we’ve done today. But you’re still taking this so well. I’m proud of you, and I love knowing that you’re all mine to play with.”

She tipped her head back towards the sound of Dana’s voice and felt lips press against her temple. Dana's kisses were as soft as her praise, and the contrast between that and her rough fingers was hopelessly arousing. Stella barely noticed her orgasm building until it was already upon her.

When it did arrive, she was swept away, squirming and whimpering whilst Dana took complete control. Wetness pooled at her entrance, collecting on the redhead’s fingers; sparks jolted down her nerves, electrifying her with passion; and simple pleasure drifted over her mind, drowning out any thoughts she might’ve been able to hold onto.

“That’s my good girl.”

“Yes, Miss,” she replied through panting breaths.

Her upper body swayed from the exertion of her orgasm, and she happily let Dana take her weight, sinking backwards until she was firmly resting against her chest. Down beneath where their bodies connected, she felt the cuffs move as they were fiddled with. One wrist came loose, then the other, and soon her ankles were free as well. Her cuffs were still in place, but the connector between them had been unclipped and tossed aside. She left her arms hanging limp by her sides whilst Dana nudged her forwards and loosened up her shoulders with a massage.

Feeling slightly delirious from physical exhaustion, it took her a while to remember what had been done to her body in order to make her this tired. When she did remember, however, she struggled off her knees and got up, moving fast enough that Dana had to practically jump off the bed to steady her when she inevitably became dizzy.

“Are you feeling okay?” Dana asked, putting a supportive arm around her waist and draping one of her arms across the back of her shoulders.

She nodded her head, trying to make words form in her brain. “The mirror. I- Uh- I want to see...”

Thankfully, Dana understood what she meant and helped her over to the wardrobe. Climaxing had briefly tempered her adrenaline high, but it was returning now, filling her with a nervous kind of excitement. It was like her body didn’t know whether she should be overjoyed or rife with panic. She hoped that discord would fade once she saw the marks that had caused this state.

As she pulled the door open, Dana stepped behind her, gently holding onto her hips and looking over her shoulder at her reflection. The mirror was affixed to the inside of the door, and she gasped at the sight before her as her body was illuminated by the light of the room. Facing it directly, she could only see the flogging marks on her chest. But they were more visible than she’d expected they would be. Pink lines zigzagged across her breasts, fanning out from either side of her where the tails had spread on impact. Her heart rate started to rise, but she ignored it, distracted by one of her girlfriend’s hands reaching up and tracing each line in turn.

She turned once Dana had finished and looked awkwardly over her own shoulder. The marks on her ass and thighs were far angrier than those on her chest, harsh and red from the force of the whip. They were possessive and territorial and absolutely everything she’d wanted from the scene. But her body didn’t seem to be on the same page as her mind. Her breathing followed her heart rate, speeding up even whilst she tried to get it back under control, and she closed her eyes in the hope that not being able to see the marks would help.

“Hey,” Dana said with audible concern. “What’s wrong?”

Once her eyes were closed, opening them again felt terrifying, and talking somehow even more so. She shook her head frantically whilst the rest of her body began to shake too.

“You’re safe. I’ve got you, honey. I won’t let anything happen to you.” Dana pulled her in and lifted both of her arms. She felt her biceps come to rest over her girlfriend’s shoulders and she cuddled closer instinctively, feeling Dana’s arms wrap securely around her middle right as the first sob welled up from her throat. “Hold onto me. Good girl. Let it all out.”

Burying her face into the crook of Dana’s neck, she gave into the overwhelming need to cry. Its origins were something to think about later, but for now, she completely let herself go, shedding ugly tears between shaky breaths, certain of only one thing. Dana would do as promised, holding her and keeping her safe until this was all over. For some reason, that overt care made her cry even harder.

Her sinuses were stuffy by the time her tears ran out, and she sniffled against sweet-smelling red locks, unwilling to let go quite yet. Dana whispered things in her ear whilst they stood there. She couldn’t remember a single word, but she felt soothed regardless. Her girlfriend’s soft, loving tone was calming in itself.

When she felt ready, she picked her head up and met Dana’s reassuring gaze. Her own eyes must’ve been damp and bloodshot, but they earned little reaction, just an added layer of worry in the redhead’s expression.

“I don’t know why I started crying.”

Dana gave her a sympathetic smile. “I have a few ideas, but we can talk about it later, unless you want to talk now?”

“Not yet,” she replied, shaking her head slowly. “Can we start aftercare, please?”

“Of course we can, baby. No bath tonight, your skin doesn’t need the irritation, but I want to take you downstairs and check you over. Then you can have ice cream and cuddles on the couch until you’re feeling better. How does that sound?”

She managed her own smile, as slight as it was. “That sounds good.”

“My good girl deserves good aftercare, doesn’t she?”

“But-”

“No,” Dana cut her off before she could refute the praise. “You haven’t done anything wrong. And anyway, I decide whether you’ve been good. You’re my perfect,” a kiss to the tip of her nose punctuated each adjective, “amazing, wonderful, incredible, good girl. You just need to accept that, because you’re not going to change my mind.”

“Okay,” she said shyly, dipping her head to try and hide the fact that her smile was widening.

But Dana didn’t let her off the hook that easily. One hand left her lower back to slip between their bodies and reach up under her chin, lifting her head.

“Your turn, baby. What are you?”

She whispered, “Your good girl,” only to find that it wasn’t enough. When she realised what Dana wanted and began to repeat the whole thing, she was forced to pause for more kisses, planted across her face this time. At least five or six were left on her cheeks when she hesitated in the middle, trying to remember all of the words that her girlfriend had used to describe her. “I’m your perfect, amazing... Wonderful, incredible, good girl. Happy now?”

“Very,” Dana laughed.

All of the affection had done its job, and she felt happy enough to join in with a fragile laugh of her own.

Having effectively picked up her mood, Dana helped slide her arms into the fluffiest of her dressing gowns and tied it shut before leading her downstairs. Nothing was asked of her except obedience, and she found the simple nature of following instructions to be rather comforting. Everything was taken care of, her included. All she had to do was listen.

She watched the redhead fill a glass with water when they reached the kitchen, which was soon handed to her with the instruction to take small sips until everything was ready for the minor first aid she needed. Leaning her hip against the worksurface, holding the glass with both hands, she silently watched Dana grab antiseptic cream, sterile gauze, and a pouch of saline from the first aid kit.

“Good,” Dana said, taking the half-empty glass out of her hands and setting it down. “You’re probably dehydrated, so you’re going to have some more water after I’ve done this.”

“I was promised ice cream.”

Dana jokingly rolled her eyes, but her relief at Stella’s improved mental state was clear to see. “And you’ll get it, after I’ve checked your ass and after I decide that you’ve had enough water. Deal?”

Rather than saying anything, she responded by turning towards the worksurface and untying her dressing gown. Dana rolled it up from the bottom, tucking it in beneath her arms once it was out of the way, and kissed the nape of her neck before kneeling down behind her. She tried not to flinch at the sensation of cold, wet gauze brushing over her skin, but her girlfriend still noticed her reaction. From then on, each touch was so gentle that it barely hurt, even when antiseptic cream was applied to every abrasion.

“All done.”

Standing up and returning to the nape of her neck, Dana nuzzled against her, making her giggle whilst the dressing gown was put back in place. The arms that slipped around her waist to tie the belt stayed right there, holding her for a moment.

She turned her head to ask, “More water?”

“Mmhmm,” Dana kissed the corner of her lips, “then ice cream.”

She finished off the glass whilst Dana tidied away the first aid supplies, then filled it up again to take into the living room. An unopened tub of her favourite ice cream had seemingly found its way into the freezer, and as an overly large portion was scooped out, she pretended to be surprised by the kind gesture. Dana’s general kindness was hardly surprising anymore.

“Are you not having any?”

“Stel,” Dana sighed, not a hint of malice in her voice. “I mean, baby. We’re sharing. I don’t know how you’d hold it for yourself anyway.”

Puzzled, she followed her girlfriend out of the kitchen. The reasoning began to make sense when they got to the living room. Looking at the sofa, it was suddenly clear what Dana was getting at. Sitting down normally would hurt her ass; she either had to be on her side or her front.

Dana put the bowl and spoon on the coffee table, took the glass from her to leave alongside them, then lay down and leant back on the armrest before she climbed on top. The position left her on her side with her head on Dana’s chest and her lower half tucked between her open legs, bent at the knee so her ass didn’t have to rest against anything. She had one arm free to use, but the other was mostly stuck between their bodies, and she was glad for her girlfriend’s forethought because her brain still wasn’t working at anywhere near full speed.

The spoon was pressed into her palm, and one of Dana’s hands held the bowl up for her whilst the other gently ruffled her hair.

“Thank you,” she said after swallowing her first, cold mouthful.

“You’re welcome. I think your blood sugar dropped during the scene, and that would explain why you felt worse after you stood up.”

After another spoonful, she offered one to Dana and replied, “I think you’re right. I was fine until I got up, but then I felt this overwhelming sense of panic. The scene was fun, so when I suddenly felt awful, it was really confusing. I would understand if you don’t want to try it again in future.”

“I trust you. If you say it was fun, I believe you,” her girlfriend leant forward to kiss the top of her head, “but from now on, and this goes for every scene, you’re having enforced snack breaks whenever I think you need them.”

The spoon clinked against her teeth when she giggled. “Controlling.”

“No, baby. Responsible.”

She finished off the ice cream in relaxed silence, comforted by the warm body that she was laying on and the fingers that delicately stroked through her hair. The unwelcome effects of her low blood sugar seemed to be dying down, and in their place she felt exhaustion that was nearly as powerful, causing her to feel increasingly tired. She hardly noticed Dana putting down the empty bowl and taking the spoon from her hand.

“Here.” Cold glass nudged at her bottom lip, “have some more water before you fall asleep.”

With the redhead’s back against the arm of the sofa, they were just upright enough for her to have a drink without needing to move. Her eyes closed whilst Dana set the glass down on the coffee table, and by the time she was tucked beneath the blanket from the back of the sofa, she was already asleep, unaware of how Dana cuddled her closer and smiled lovingly when she started to snore.

Notes:

well it's been just about centuries since the last chapter of this, sorry about that!!! I finished a degree, moved to the other end of the country, and started a masters that I'm now midway through. but I'm aiming to get back into posting a chapter every few weeks (ish? I'm making no promises haha) and I hope this was a fitting, rather sappy return to the NE universe. please let me know what you think, if you're so inclined, and I hope you enjoyed reading!! 💕💕

Chapter 17: Office

Dana moved around the house - getting dressed after her post-work shower, taking her most recent purchase to the bedroom, and generally tidying as she went. But her mind was elsewhere entirely.

The week prior, Stella had come home as she did any other day. Nothing was out of the ordinary. But when she’d joined Dana in the kitchen and slipped her arms around her waist from behind, the sleeve of her shirt had caught, sliding up to reveal the cuff around her wrist. Upon asking, Dana had learned that its usage apparently wasn’t limited to their home. She didn’t quite know why she’d made that assumption in the first place. It wasn’t in any of their agreed upon rules; it just felt like the sort of limit that Stella would want to keep in place, and she hadn’t thought to question otherwise.

“My decision to wear it isn’t about whether or not I’m with you in person,” Stella had explained. “It’s about whether, at any given moment, I would be willing to submit to you. The cuff is a sign that I’m in the right headspace, but honestly, I don’t want any more control than that. If I start imposing rules about when and where I use it, I fear it would take on more of a meaning. When you see it on my wrist, I don’t want you to think that I’m asking for sex. Instead, I want you to know that I will submit, should you choose to ask that of me. I trust you not to use that power inappropriately. You’re too protective over me to knowingly put me in harm’s way.”

She’d played with the cuff for a moment, absorbing Stella’s words, before telling her to sit on the edge of the kitchen table, dragging her trousers down her legs, and fingering her until she came. True to her word, Stella had been nothing but enthusiastic.

Since then, Dana had begun to take far more notice of exactly when and where Stella wore her cuff. It glinted in contrast to the scuffed metal of a shopping trolley, pushed up and down each aisle whilst they did their weekly shop; it bumped against her wrist bone when they held hands, strolling through a nearby park on a pleasant Sunday afternoon; and it accompanied Stella on all bar one trip home from work, only absent after a particularly stressful interrogation, following which she’d seen it return once Stella was suitably relaxed.

Although Stella’s enjoyment of submission was no longer novel, Dana continued to be surprised by the extent to which she herself enjoyed domination. The responsibility of it all didn’t feel so worrisome anymore, and now that she was more confident both within scenes and after them, she too was able to simply enjoy it. She’d learnt to trust her instincts rather than ignore them, and - partially, at least - she’d started to understand what Stella saw in her. It wasn’t mere luck that had landed her here; it was her loving, honest nature which had made Stella feel safe enough to tread this path with her.

The boost it gave to her self-esteem was an unexpected side effect, but a welcome one too.

On this particular evening, however, she wasn’t waiting for Stella to get home. The blonde’s car was at the garage for its MOT, so she’d offered to pick her up from work instead. Having finished tidying, checked the time, and made sure that her keys were in her pocket, she headed out the front door.

The drive was shorter in distance than it was in duration. She’d left early enough to beat the worst of rush hour, but London was hardly traffic-free at any time of day. When she got to Blackfriars and turned to drive alongside the Thames, the traffic practically slowed to a standstill, and she impatiently drummed her fingers against the top of the steering wheel, wondering whether or not she would remember to pay the congestion charge this time.

She had to park a fair distance from New Scotland Yard, but with sunny views and a light breeze, she didn’t mind the walk. Upon arrival, she passed through security and took the lift up to Stella’s office. Being former law enforcement had its perks; Stella hadn’t needed to do much convincing in order to get her access.

It was right outside the lift where she stopped abruptly as she took in the sight before her. Stella was out amongst the open-plan desks, in the middle of an animated exchange with her boss, and remained completely oblivious to Dana’s presence.

“You’ve got company, Gibson.”

At her boss’ comment, Dana watched her turn around, surprise flashing across her face before realisation swept it away. Apparently, the day’s work had consumed her enough to make her briefly forget her travel arrangements.

“Dana,” she called, walking towards her office. Her hand lifted to the door handle, displaying her inconspicuous cuff for all to see.

Dana’s mind began to whir.

Stella held the door and closed it gently behind her once she walked through. “Hi, darling.”

But the kinds of thoughts Dana was having gave her little respect for anything ‘gentle’. She stepped forwards, crowding her girlfriend against the closed door, and flicked the lock shut. Her gaze dropped, staring pointedly at the cuff; her heart raced, hoping Stella would be on board. Technically, she didn’t ask for permission. What she did was make her desires clear, giving Stella a chance to back out, a chance to unclasp the cuff and call off her advance.

This was new territory in every sense of the word.

Stella's eyes flitted from hers to the cuff and back again, barely moving with a slight nod of acceptance. She leant in to let her breath ghost along the side of the blonde's throat.

"Go stand behind your desk."

Obediently, Stella hurried around to the other side of her desk and awaited further instruction, her eyes darkening with arousal as she looked to her domme for guidance. Dana followed, slow and outwardly patient whilst Stella was becoming anything but. Reaching her, Dana stood behind her and took hold of her hands, placing them flat on the desk and forcing her to bend over slightly in the process. She pulled her skirt up around her waist and nudged her legs apart before kneeling down, face level with her ass.

Covered in whip marks and barely hidden by thin strips of lace, Stella’s ass was a sight to behold. The marks had faded somewhat since they were first made, but they were still clearly visible, and neither woman had expected quite how much they would come to love such a territorial claim until it was there to see on Stella’s skin. Ill-preparedness aside, Dana had no regrets about trying it. The only thing she planned to change in future was making sure that she had something sugary to give her after they were finished.

She pulled her underwear to one side and moved in closer, inhaling her building arousal.

“Try to stay quiet, baby,” she warned preemptively, “unless you want everyone to find out what a slut you are.”

Although Stella managed not to make a sound, Dana watched her holes clench at the terminology. She was less of a fan when it came to degradation, but she knew what a few well-timed words could do to her sub, and when used sparingly, they had even more of an effect than usual.

She wasted no time at all, sticking her tongue out to swipe up from Stella’s clit to her entrance. A stifled whimper broke the quiet, but it wasn’t loud enough to risk exposure, and so she carried on, pushing forwards until her tongue was pulsing inside her, wiggling against her inner walls and making her legs quiver. Her wetness steadily flooded Dana’s mouth and her thigh muscles contracted beneath Dana’s fingers when she gripped them to keep her close.

“Mmm,” she hummed, lips pressed against her sex such that every word came out mumbled. “You taste so good.”

Alternating between her clit and her entrance, she built her up to a quick but powerful orgasm, delighting in the grunting noises that were clearly her best attempt to avoid moaning outright. Dana knew that they shouldn’t stay here for very long; it would only arouse suspicion as to what they were getting up to. But she continued kneeling there until Stella’s orgasm had passed and her pooling wetness had been licked away.

Stella swayed a little when she stood up, so she wrapped both of her arms around her waist and held her until her legs were steady again.

Resting her chin on her shoulder, she said, “Well done for staying quiet. That must’ve been hard, but you’re my good girl. You always listen to me.”

“Thank you, Miss,” Stella whispered, holding onto Dana’s arms across her stomach.

“You’re welcome, baby. When I see you behaving this nicely, it makes me want to do all kinds of things to you.”

She chuckled when Stella’s ass started faintly grinding against her crotch.

“What do you want to do to me?”

“First,” she said, lifting a hand from Stella’s waist to tuck her hair behind her ear and speaking softly into it, “I want to take you home where I can play with you properly. Then, I want to tear all your clothes off. I’ll let you think about what might happen after that.”

“Take me home, please.”

“What a good idea, honey.”

Helping Stella pack up for the day, she smoothed out her skirt and picked up her coat for her to slip her arms into, then grabbed her bag before she could get to it. The blonde pretended to grumble about the control she was taking, but her shy smile and adoring gaze weren’t easily hidden. It was small moments like these that really solidified their mutual love for Dana taking charge. Beyond her office walls, Stella was known to be many things, and submissive certainly wasn’t one of them. However, within these walls - at least for now - her guard could be brought down without fear.

Before they left, she faced Stella and gave her a quick once-over, checking for signs of distress whilst reaching out to take hold of her day collar, asserting control yet again.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yes, Miss.”

She let go of her collar and pecked her lips with a chaste kiss. “Are you ready to be around other people? It’s okay if you need a minute.”

“I’m alright,” Stella replied with a more confident smile than before. “I slipped partially into subspace when you were... when you had me behind the desk. But knowing that I’m about to walk through the office has brought me firmly back. I’m fine, I promise.”

She didn’t hand Stella’s bag over; carrying it for her felt like the least she could do, but she did remain patient whilst they stepped out into the main office and Stella locked the door behind them. From there, they made for the lifts, and she waited to reach out until they were leaving the building’s reception and starting the walk to the car. A silent raise of her free arm prompted Stella to slip hers through the crook, and she smiled to herself at the ease with which they came together.

There was nothing uncouth or provocative about the pair of women, walking arm-in-arm through the streets of Westminster. None of their fellow pedestrians knew of what they’d just done, nor of what they planned to do at home, and she could see on Stella’s face that the anonymity was a comfort. By the mere act of leading their way, she was setting a dominant tone to their afternoon. But that alone, out of context, meant zilch. To those they walked alongside, they were just another forgettable couple to be skirted around by commuters in a hurry.

“This way,” she directed the blonde down a narrow side street.

When they got to her car, they climbed in and she reached behind herself to put Stella’s bag on the backseat before turning the key. Pulling out was made tricky by the car that had been wedged into the gap in front, but once they were clear and heading down the road, she moved her left hand from the gearstick to Stella’s thigh, pushing her skirt up out of the way. Though she was too busy watching the road to see, she felt fingers curling around her wrist. The grip was delicate in case she needed to snatch her hand back at any point, but it sent a clear message that her possessive touch was wanted.

That want was made clearer still when she stopped at a traffic light, giving her the time to turn and meet Stella’s lovestruck eyes.

“Come here,” she demanded, squeezing her thigh.

Stella leant in immediately, coming closer until their noses were practically touching and her seatbelt was squeaking in protest.

“Good girl.”

She kissed her slowly, passionately - or with as much passion as could be found at a four way junction - and watched the blissful smile on her face widen as their lips parted. The changing traffic lights forced her attention away. She brought her hand back to the gearstick and drove off through the yellow box, but as soon as she could, her hand returned to its rightful place across her girlfriend’s thigh.

“How are you feeling, baby?” she asked when they hit another crawling traffic jam. “I know this is all pretty new for us.”

Stella sighed wistfully and ran a hand over the back of hers, fingertips tracing over her knuckles whilst they clenched against her thigh.

“I feel good. I was a tad nervous when I first realised what you were thinking of doing up in my office, but I knew you would be careful about it. The lack of responsibility has been nice. Having you take control in a new environment was surprisingly exciting, and I think seeing you act like this may well be the closest I’ll ever come to understanding why chivalry makes some girls swoon.”

“Oh, really?” she laughed. “Am I your knight in shining armour?”

“Not quite,” Stella shot back, “but you are my loving girlfriend, and on occasion, my needlessly protective domme.”

“It’s not needless. Maybe you’re a sub who needs protecting.”

“Whatever you say, Miss.”

She grinned at the pretend defeat in Stella’s tone and slid her hand even further up the inside of her thigh. “That’s right, honey. Whatever I say.”

Stella’s car being off the road meant that there was more space than usual in front of their house, so she was able to park right outside. With a firmly uttered, “Stay,” she got out and grabbed the handbag from the backseat before walking around the car and opening the passenger door. She put her hand out for Stella to hold and helped her up onto the pavement, smiling all the while as her display of mock chivalry had its intended effect. Beneath the blonde’s façade of rolling eyes and huffed breaths, the satisfaction at her gesture was clear to see.

As soon as the front door closed behind them, she set the next step of her loose plan into motion. Stella yelped when she shoved her up against the wall, but soon gave into her searching hands as they removed each item of clothing in turn. Quickly and efficiently, she worked, stripping the blonde down to nothing but her day collar and consent cuff.

“I told you I wanted to take you home and tear your clothes off,” she purred, pressing up against her and holding either side of her ass. “But you were so well behaved in your office, letting me use you and staying quiet the whole time. I think you deserve a reward.”

Stella whined and nodded in agreement. “Please, Miss.”

“What do you want, baby?”

She waited for an answer, tracing her fingers over what whip marks she could reach, and watched the cute, thoughtful expression that her girlfriend wore whenever excited like this. That was one of the things Stella had struggled with initially - the confidence to be sexual in a manner that wasn’t always suave and controlling. Seeing her now, so unbothered that she truly didn’t mind being viewed in this light, made Dana happy beyond belief. Little else could be more satisfying than watching Stella come into herself, into her own desires, without shame or worry.

“Remember the new toys that you bought? That set of plugs?” Dana nodded in response. “I want to try using one of them, please. And I want you to fuck my face.”

“At the same time?”

Stella jokingly scoffed, “If you want, Miss.”

“So that’s a yes,” she chuckled. “Let’s go upstairs.”

But as she pushed her towards the stairs, Stella paused to add, “Please don’t be gentle. I know you want to be careful with me after what happened last time, but I like how intense you’ve been today. It’s more psychological than anything; I want to be controlled.”

Without giving herself a second to question the decision, she reached a hand up into Stella’s hair and took a secure grip, slowly forcing the blonde to her knees at the bottom of the staircase. Standing behind her, she looked down at the naked woman, breathing deeply whilst a surge of arousal rushed through her own body. The sight was thrilling enough that she would’ve abandoned her plan to go upstairs if not for Stella’s requests. If it were solely up to her, she would’ve pinned her girlfriend down and fucked her right there on the floor, pressing her facefirst into the hall rug and filling her with as many fingers as would fit.

“Crawl,” she ordered, licking her lips as Stella leant forward to begin climbing the steps on her hands and knees.

“Yes, Miss.”

She gave Stella a head start, but it wasn’t out of anything as sweet as kindness. No, it was purely to give herself the best view - the perfect angle to watch her girlfriend’s marked ass and thighs wiggle on every step, knees parting as she climbed to reveal her soaking wet sex.

Following along behind her, they headed for the bedroom. Dutifully, the blonde crawled the entire way there, only stopping to playfully shimmy her hips when Dana reached down and gave her ass a light smack.

“Stay,” the redhead demanded again once they passed the threshold, placing a hand between her shoulder blades to push her chest down to the carpet.

Stella spread her arms and legs to either side for stability, but kept her ass up, leaving her completely on show. Although it was hard to avoid the draw of her body, as presented as it was, Dana stepped away to get out her play collar as well as the buttplugs and a bottle of lube. She wasn’t sure which size would be right because they’d never used these before, only the small dildo that she’d tried last time they did anal. But a darker, more dominant thought in the back of her mind gave her an idea for the future. At some point, she hoped to use all of the plugs on Stella, training her until even the largest could fit.

Setting aside that fantasy, she cleared her head and walked back over to the blonde. After putting everything within reach on the end of the bed, she knelt down and swung one of her legs over, straddling Stella’s upper back, and held her there whilst swapping her gold day collar out for her proper, leather collar.

“That’s better. There’s no hiding what this collar means.” She gently tugged on the back of the collar until Stella had to lift her head, then leant down to whisper in her ear. “It means you’re mine.”

Without moving, she kept the blonde under her whilst deciding which plug to try first. She wanted it to be small enough not to cause discomfort, but the very smallest one looked narrower than the dildo they’d already used, and so she picked the next size up, coating both it and Stella’s asshole with lube before leaning back to start pushing against the base. Stella had nowhere to go beneath her, and she relished the helpless movements of the body caught between her thighs, restless with needy energy whilst the plug gradually slipped further and further inside.

“Thank you, Miss,” her girlfriend whimpered once it settled.

“You’re welcome, honey.”

She stood up to admire her handiwork, loving how Stella remained perfectly in place whilst she walked around her and looked at the silicone base that stuck out between her asscheeks. Not giving her a chance to watch, she stood beside her ass and stripped off her own clothes, leaving them in a messy pile to be tidied away later. Then, she walked confidently back to the bed and sat down on the end, spreading her legs whilst finally making eye contact with her eager sub.

“You know what I want.”

Her smirk when Stella scrambled towards her wasn’t one born of shared enthusiasm - though she felt that too; it was one of power and satisfaction, like an expert predator watching their naive prey fall into a trap. Witnessing her girlfriend crawl across the floor, just for her. It made her feel special. Important. She’d felt the trappings of domspace in the past, but never to this degree. Never before had she felt so taken, so undeniably fueled by the urge to possess Stella above all else.

Upon reaching her, Stella knelt between her open legs and rested either hand on top of her thighs. She decided not to say anything, because there was nothing to say. The only communication necessary was that of her own hands reaching into blonde curls, combing them back into a makeshift ponytail, and holding on tight. Another look of adoration came with the force of her actions and what she wanted most was to see that expression shift into something blissful and mentally absent. She wanted to fuck Stella’s face until the woman couldn’t think straight, then fuck her body until she couldn’t think at all.

Forceful from the outset, she brought Stella’s head down between her thighs and groaned at the feeling of lips brushing her sex. Her girlfriend’s tongue poked out, wriggling between her labia and toying with her clit, but she used her grip and shoved down until the tip of that tongue was against her entrance, ready to be pushed inside when she pressed her palm flat to the back of Stella’s head.

She was aware of the hands on her thighs, ready to ease off if Stella asked for a break, but until that happened, she remained unforgiving. Her hips rolled, grinding herself against the blonde’s face; her hands clutched, refusing to give up any control whatsoever; and her gaze wandered, trailing down over Stella’s back to watch her squirming ass. From where she was sitting, the plug was hidden, but she knew it was there.

Their position reminded her of the very first time they’d done anything like this, back when Stella’s submission was a mere suggestion and their mutual enjoyment of it was a surprise to them both. Here and now, it felt like so much had changed since then. They’d gradually shifted from a hesitant moment of experimentation to this - a free use arrangement, collars, titles, whip marks, and buttplugs. Plus, though oral sex was hardly new, their shared love for this rougher side to it was one of her favourite discoveries yet.

She’d been uncertain about bringing up the whole idea to Stella in the first place, but she would be damned if she wasn’t grateful to herself for having done so now.

“That’s it, baby,” she moaned when her girlfriend’s nose scrunched against her clit. “Be a good slut and let me use you properly.”

Stella made some kind of noise against her, one that was too muffled to decipher, so she took it as agreement. In this moment, anything but tapping out was going to be taken as agreement.

When her climax washed over her, it felt like a taut band snapping deep in her gut. The reverberations travelled through her, singeing every nerve, sending pleasure across her body. Their echoes were smaller but no less pleasant, and she kept her girlfriend’s mouth against her sex until they finally dissipated.

She gently pulled Stella away, wiping the cum from her lips and praising her sweetly. “What a good girl. You know just what I like.”

“Thank you, Miss,” Stella replied in between licks to Dana’s fingers, cleaning up the wetness that had been wiped off her face. “I love being used for your pleasure.”

“And I love using you. Get up here.”

As soon as Stella stood up, Dana pulled her in, leaning to one side so that she could push her onto the bed before climbing on top of her. Blonde hair splayed out on the sheet beneath her head like a messy halo, looking so very unlike the perfect curls that had made up just one part of the immaculate presentation her colleagues had seen earlier in the day. No one else got to see this: those bedroom eyes that could stop a grown man in his tracks, those soft lips that still glistened with cum, and those hands that betrayed her desperation. Her fingers couldn’t stop moving, fidgeting, letting off the steam of her anticipatory energy.

But then they really did move, and it was Dana who was captivated as she watched Stella reach up above her head and hold onto the near edge of one of the pillows - in a sense, restraining herself.

“Hold that position, baby,” she demanded, moving to the side and dragging a hand down the blonde’s stomach. “You’re beautiful.”

Without knowing, Stella had given her inspiration for how best to implement a new idea she’d been mulling over. But she kept it to herself for now, choosing instead to press two of her fingers up against Stella’s entrance, revelling in how damp they quickly became. Their earlier tryst in the office was enough novelty for one day.

“Have you been wet since I fucked you in your office?”

“Yes, Miss,” Stella said, nodding furiously.

“In that case,” she leant down to kiss her and pushed both fingers inside her before whispering against her lips, “I should drive you home more often.”

“Please!”

She could see Stella going cross-eyed trying to look at her; their faces were still too close together. Smirking at her sub’s needy behaviour, she slipped her supporting arm beneath Stella’s back and trailed kisses down her exposed throat, beginning to thrust with the other hand until she heard a quiet moan.

Stella trembled around her stilled fingers as she spoke. “I want to hear how desperate you are.”

It didn’t take long for the blonde to react once she started fingering her again, filling in every moment of quiet with a mixture of guttural, satisfied noises and delightfully whiny sounds. It was as if her body kept swinging from one extreme to the other, shifting from overwhelmed and needing a break to underwhelmed and needing even more stimulation, responding to everything from the minutest curl of Dana’s fingers to the hardest, deepest thrust.

“Thank you, Miss,” Stella whimpered, writhing beneath her. “Ohhh, fuck. Thank you.”

“You’re going to come for me, aren’t you?”

Stella’s nod was just as furious as the last. “Yes, please.”

She pushed her free hand up the bed between Stella’s shoulder blades and grabbed onto the back of her collar, tightening it without actually choking her. The leather dug into Dana’s fingers and she could only imagine how Stella must’ve felt with it wrapped around her throat. The sight proved to be almost as intoxicating; Dana pulled her own legs in underneath herself so that she was kneeling by Stella’s side, hunched over with one hand beneath her neck and the other moving back and forth between her thighs, staring down at the adorably helpless look of arousal on her face.

As requested, her arms remained subserviently raised above her head. Dana managed to look away from her imploring eyes and knitted brow for just long enough to enjoy the view of her flexing biceps - a sign that Stella was trying her absolute hardest to obey her domme’s command.

That dominant voice spoke to Dana once more, the voice that she couldn’t quite bring herself to admit was her own. ‘Take her,’ it seemed to say. ‘She’s yours to play with. Fuck her properly. You know you want to. You know she wants you to. She asked you to control her. So, do it.’

She felt Stella’s thighs tense around her hand as the blonde drifted closer to orgasm. When she roughly forced her legs apart, the loud groan she heard confirmed that Stella was on exactly the same page as her. Neither one of them wanted her to back down from the severe tone she’d set.

In keeping with the scene’s unplanned nature, the thought of her next move came to her right as Stella climaxed. The rolling motion of the blonde’s hips travelled up and down her body, and Dana had to let go of her collar, but never stopped fucking her. Not whilst her inner walls pulsed, not whilst she shuddered through her orgasm, and certainly not whilst it began to pass.

Dana grinned upon hearing a surprised, “Oh!”

“You’re going to come again.” It wasn’t a question.

Light bounced off the thin sheen of sweat that was building across Stella’s chest, dancing to the pattern of her heaving breaths. Her body was clearly trying to drag in more oxygen, but it didn’t appear to be doing anything for her oversensitive quivers or the dazed look that clouded the otherwise tranquil blue of her eyes. All of her, in entirety, was at Dana’s mercy.

Her second orgasm was faster to arrive, but that was mostly due to Dana. She moved to kneel between Stella’s legs and hunkered down. Keeping two fingers inside her, she used her other hand to press against the base of the plug in her ass and started licking her at the same time. Dana’s gaze wandered the body laid out before her, her perspective anchored by her tongue, lapping firmly at Stella’s clit, whilst she indulged herself in watching the rippled after effects of abdominal clenches and the eager rise and fall of her sub’s breasts.

“You’re delicious, baby,” she mumbled, unwilling to move away for even a second.

Although her hand never faltered, coated as it was with Stella’s wetness, her tongue hesitated momentarily when she saw the blonde’s arms lift from the bed. They were pressed back down in a flash; Stella must’ve caught her own disobedience before Dana had time to react.

She gave her one last, “Good girl,” for the self-correction before determinedly shutting up and rewarding her properly.

It wasn’t hard for Dana to act as if she were enjoying herself, mainly because she most certainly was. She loved pushing Stella to this point. Being given the power to take someone who was normally so perfectly coiffed and decidedly reserved, and turn them into an unashamedly excited, obedient submissive? It was addictive. She felt the territorial need to claim Stella as her own and there was nothing better than knowing that Stella, this Stella, her Stella, needed it as much as she did.

‘She’s mine,’ was the only thought on her mind as she felt Stella unravel for the third time, dripping onto her tongue and tightening around her fingers.

After licking both Stella and her own fingers clean, Dana carefully removed the plug from her ass and shuffled back over to one side to set it on the bedside table, then helped the blonde to sit upright against the headboard. She dragged the duvet from the bottom corner of the bed and tucked her in underneath it before grabbing the bag she’d brought upstairs earlier in the day. From the bag, she took out a small carton of apple juice, which she then handed to a rather bemused-looking Stella.

“Drink it,” she said as she pulled the duvet up to slide beneath it and wrap an arm around her shoulders. “I think your blood sugar is fine today, but just in case.”

When turning the mostly confused and vaguely, comedically, alarmed expression from the carton to Dana proved fruitless, Stella huffed in defeat and got to work. Dana knew that it probably wasn’t necessary, but she felt a lingering point of guilt from their last scene, and she wanted - no, needed - to demonstrate to her girlfriend that she was taking responsibility and properly looking after her.

...even if looking after her came in the form of apple juice.

She decided against trying to explain herself. When she’d worked in paediatrics, fruit juice had been a go-to choice for raising blood sugar, but whilst watching Stella aggressively stab the straw into the carton and take a first sip, she knew better than to be anything other than gently encouraging.

“Good girl,” she praised, leaning in to kiss her temple. “I won’t ask you to do this every time, but if you’re okay with it, we’ll make this our back up plan. I want to know that I can keep you safe, whatever happens.”

Perhaps, she wondered, playing on Stella’s favourite aspect of submission might’ve been crossing the boundary from persuasive to manipulative. Although it was rarely declared in any outright way, she knew that her girlfriend loved being taken care of above all else. However, she decided, it wasn’t manipulative - or, at least, not immorally manipulative - to act in Stella’s best interests, and those definitely included staying on top of her blood sugar and general physical wellbeing.

Shaking her head, she set aside the mental gymnastics of justifying her actions and focused on what was more important.

The carton in Stella’s hands crinkled, its sides beginning to cave inwards from suction until the blonde finished her apple juice and passed it back to Dana. Not daring to embarrass her by saying it aloud, she quietly savoured the undeniably sweet image of her sub - collared, happy, and with a carton of juice in her hands.

“Why are you looking at me like that, Miss?”

“Hmm?” The empty carton joined the plug on the bedside table. “Like what, honey?”

Stella paused for a second to think. “Like you want to eat me.”

The comment surprised her, and she laughed as she tugged Stella closer, feeling a hand reach up to her face.

“Maybe I do,” she replied, dipping her head to catch Stella’s thumb between her teeth and softly biting down before letting her go. “I told you, you’re delicious.”

Despite this supposedly being the return to calm after the proverbial storm, she didn’t appreciate the dismissive eye roll that her compliment earned. She was still in charge, after all, and she wanted to be treated as such. Keeping Stella trapped with one arm, she lifted her other hand to her collar and looped a finger through the d-ring on the front, reeling the blonde in by her throat.

“Say it,” she ordered calmly, her features pulling into the sternest look she could muster. “Tell me what I want to hear.”

They’d been in enough similar situations for understanding to immediately wash over Stella’s face, and she did her best to ignore the warmth in her gut that ignited upon feeling her sub’s hastening breaths and hearing her eager gulp.

“I’m your good girl. And...” Stella faltered but was able to regain her confidence, “I’m delicious.”

She smiled and gave her a slow kiss as a reward for her response. “Yes, you are, baby.”

Stella’s eyes stayed shut as she drew back, lost in the moment, and Dana’s smile widened at the sight. She loved her always, but this side of her was particularly treasured. Free of all worldly constraints, all expectations, all stressors, and all worries; Stella never looked more beautiful.

“I love you,” she whispered, watching her eyes open at the sound of her voice.

“I love you too.”

Leaning back against the headboard, she let go of the collar and pulled Stella closer, making her roll onto her side. Blonde hair fell across Dana’s chest and hands reached out, taking hold of her free arm whilst the other stayed firmly around Stella’s shoulders.

Careful and focused, Stella played with her hand, gently manipulating her fingers and moving closer to brush her palm against her cheek whilst Dana watched quietly from above.

“You’re adorable, baby,” she couldn’t help but confess.

Stella glanced up, her face sporting a light flush of embarrassment.

“Thank you, Miss.”

Notes:

thank you as ever to Amber for your immense support with this fic (and the vast majority of my fics in general haha) 💕

Chapter 18: Reversal

Scrolling down the page, Stella looked at toys of every possible shape, colour, and size, none of which succeeded in distracting her from the woman leant against her shoulder.

With their recent explorations came intrigue for more, and she’d been surprised to find that looking at sex toys online and talking through possible scenarios felt as much like an innocent bonding activity as it did foreplay. If she’d only ever wanted to sleep with Dana, their relationship would never have developed past a single night together. It was her girlfriend’s mind and heart that she’d fallen in love with; sharing ideas and hearing her thoughts was rewarding in its own way. She was proud to be the person whom Dana wanted to share such things with, even if those things were of a rather scandalous variety.

Who was she kidding? She was especially proud of bearing witness to the scandalous workings of Dana’s mind. Colleagues had earned access to scientific intellect only. Whereas, what she was invited to partake in was most personal, most trusted, indeed.

“I like that one.” Dana pointed at one of the listings on-screen, a ridged dildo that had a base which would work with one of the harnesses they already owned.

She hesitated for a moment, taken aback by quite how thick it looked. Her emotions were hard to decipher. She didn’t know whether she was more nervous at the thought of Dana using it on her, or more excited by the prospect of being pushed in that way.

Although, she considered, who’s to say it was going to be used on her? The assumption was practically made without thinking.

“Stel?” She turned her head at the sound of her own name. “You’ve gone quiet.”

With a hearty sigh, she lifted her arm up to drape it around her girlfriend’s shoulders. “Sorry, I was just thinking. That’s all.”

“What were you thinking about?” Dana predictably asked, looking up at her with the kind of loving focus that she’d come to appreciate over the course of their relationship. No one had ever taken such a pure, uncorrupted interest in her before.

“I’m only now realising that, ever since I started... submitting,” she took another breath as if to ward off her nerves, knowing that whatever she said would still be awkward all the same, “to you, we’ve fallen into quite the pattern. It’s a touch heteronormative, or perhaps that view is biased by my own experiences, but normally whichever one of us is in charge ends up penetrating - for want of a less clinical term - the other. Lately, my darling, that’s been you. It’s not a problem per se, just something that I’ve become aware of.”

“I don’t need that to stay in control.”

“No,” she agreed, smiling at the manner in which Dana took the comment as an immediate challenge. “You don’t.”

The redhead reached over her lap and took hold of her other hand. For the briefest of moments, she thought the move was innocent. But then the sleeve of her robe was pulled up her forearm, revealing the cuff clasped securely around her wrist.

The move wasn’t so innocent after all.

“Take your laptop and put it on the dresser, then come back over to me.”

“Yes, Miss.”

Before she got up, she hugged Dana’s shoulders and planted a kiss in the centre of her forehead. The unfolding scene was completely unexpected, but that in itself was something she’d come to love about both their arrangement and her cuff. The possibility was there whenever she wore it. The concept of her body being so freely available would’ve scared her in any other context. But with her girlfriend, if anything, it had the opposite effect. Being available to Dana meant more than simply being used; it meant being open to acting with neither complex thought nor responsibility.

It meant being protected, in its own strange way.

When she stood beside the bed after moving her laptop, Dana shuffled across the mattress on her knees to sit in front of her. The robe she was wearing fell from her shoulders with ease once the belt was untied, and the pyjama trousers beneath it met a similar fate, dropping to land in a heap around her ankles when the waistband was pulled down over her hips. Their mutual excitement was palpable as the hem of her shirt began to lift - a feeling which was only strengthened when she raised her arms above her head, sharing deep and intense eye contact until the material of her shirt obstructed her vision.

She was left to stand there, entirely naked, whilst Dana went about preparing everything they would need for the scene. True to her evolving, subservient form, she didn’t dare question any of the decisions being made. At some point, she thought, it might be fun to try out more disobedience. Mostly, she wanted to see what sort of reaction she could provoke. A little discipline sounded more fun than it did scary.

For now, however, she chose to behave. Each sensation confirmed that choice as the right one to have made: the delicate sweeping of her hair over one shoulder, the warm breaths against the nape of her neck, and the comforting hold of leather around her throat as her collars were swapped.

“Mine,” Dana said, pressing up against her back and possessively squeezing her hips.

“Yours,” she whispered, already feeling subspace digging its welcomed claws into her mind.

Wet, noisy kisses marked a path from the edge of her shoulder, up along the side of her neck, and across her jaw to the corner of her lips. She turned her head, but it wasn’t long before her body was turned as well, and she gave in to the hands that manipulated her, leaving her to face her domme. Her arms lifted then, as she knew they were allowed to do, in order to wrap around Dana’s neck whilst those manipulating hands found their place in the dip of her lower back.

“You’re going to wear the strap,” she was told, “and you’re going to fuck me,” her gaze was drawn to the redhead’s lips, perfectly forming each word, “but I’m going to be in charge.”

Stella nodded, still entirely focused on her lips, and not even the searching fingers that slid down over her ass could pull her away. “Yes, Miss.”

Usually, being called a good girl meant the world to her. But, whilst she was being praised this time, all she could think about was the delectable puckering of Dana’s lips around the word, “Good.”

“-ening to me?”

She glanced up, confused. “Hmm?”

“I said,” Dana chuckled, firmly patting her ass, “are you listening to me, baby?”

“Yes.” She quickly corrected herself. “Now, I am. I got distracted. Sorry, Miss.”

Her honesty earned her a smile. “You’re dangerously cute when you get flustered.”

“Dangerously?”

Dana suddenly pulled her off-balance, taking on most of her body weight and leaning forward to speak into her ear, ignoring her surprised yelp. “I don’t know why, but whenever you look this cute, I react in one of two ways. Either, I have this overwhelming need to be as gentle with you as I can...”

“Or?” she asked, leaning against Dana’s chest and nuzzling into her, secretly hoping that the alternative option would be a far sight less gentle.

“Or,” came an aggressive, growly tone that made Stella flush with anticipation, “I want to own you. I want to use you. And when I’m done with you and you’re too exhausted to keep going, I want you to beg for more anyway, and you’ll do it, because deep down you know that you’ll do whatever I want.”

Her secret hoping turned to desperation. “And what if I don’t do what you want?”

An embarrassingly loud moan was ripped from her throat as Dana shoved her onto the bed, pushed her onto her front, and straddled her thighs, yanking her arms into place behind her back. The determination behind each word of the response was made clear by the cuffs that soon trapped her wrists.

“I’ll make you do what I want. I don’t need your permission.”

Even as Dana proclaimed such ultimate power over her, she smiled, feeling the careful removal of her consent cuff so as not to accidentally hurt her if it got caught beneath her leather cuffs. The act of the power exchange turned her on, but it could only do so because she had complete trust in her girlfriend to keep it as just that. An act. If ever she wanted it to stop, she needn’t do more than simply say the word.

“Okay, Miss,” she acceded, giving up control for at least the duration of this scene. “I’ll do anything you want.”

The redhead helped her to roll over and then sit up, positioning them both such that Stella couldn’t help cuddling into her side once upright. Her hands were soft again; one rubbed the blonde’s upper back whilst the other stroked her cheek.

“That’s my girl. Sometimes you just need an incentive to behave nicely, don’t you?”

She dropped her head to Dana’s shoulder and nodded lazily, giggling all the while. It was wonderful to feel this safe, this at peace. The world of submission had slowly but surely become her happy place. Subspace quieted her often rowdy mind to a degree that nothing else could. Whatever happened in the outside world, in here, in the little, tucked away bubble of their dynamic, she was free in every sense but that which Dana held over her. And unlike in the outside world, such freedoms were only taken with her own consent.

Despite the collar and the cuffs, or in fact because of them, she felt empowered.

That feeling didn’t fade, even as Dana moved her to the side of the bed and lifted her to her feet. She stood as she had at the beginning, only this time with her collar on and her hands cuffed behind her back, and allowed a harness to be strapped around her hips before laying her eyes on the final addition that her domme planned to make to her ‘outfit’.

“You look nervous, honey.” Dana opened up a nipple clamp with one hand and began teasing her breasts with the other. “Are you scared these will hurt?”

She swallowed at the sight of the glinting metal, remembering the only experience she’d had with them thus far, and unconsciously pushed her chest out to press Dana’s hand against her. “They hurt last time.”

“Poor girl,” the redhead cooed. “What did it feel like? Was it a bad kind of pain? Or was it a good kind, like when I spank you?”

“The good kind,” she muttered, unwilling to lie but not exactly pleased about telling the truth either.

“Thank you for being honest with me. I’m proud of you.”

Fury flashed across her face, temporarily sending her eyebrows furrowing downwards and pulling her lips into an angry pout. But all it got her was an amused laugh, and before long, it faded beneath reddened cheeks and fidgeting teeth, worrying her no longer pouting bottom lip. In quick succession, she’d gone from being irritated by the clearly deliberate tactic of using pride against her, to being unable to deny quite how much she loved hearing it, to being embarrassed about both how she’d reacted and how predictable Dana seemed to think her reaction was.

Just as she couldn’t deny a love for Dana’s pride in her, neither could she deny how being handled like this made her knees weak and her sex warm.

Try as she might to have spent most of her life convincing herself otherwise, deep down, she’d always longed to be known. To be understood. The one person who’d ever truly seen her had been cruelly taken away, and to protect herself, she’d looked for anyone but him. Her father. To seek his level of faith in her from another had always felt, to some degree, as though it would be a stain on his memory. An impossible task that would only serve to upset her and dishonour him. Instead, she’d done all she could to keep an emotional distance from those around her, be it in bed or otherwise.

This was different in absolutely every sense. Dana, and the relationship they’d found with each other, was entirely incomparable to her father in all but one regard. And that regard was the knowledge and acceptance with which she was loved. No one else had ever loved her, the real Stella, beneath all of the facades and walls that she’d been erecting since he said goodbye. In truth, no one else had ever been given the chance to know her in the first place.

Dana hadn’t so much been given the chance as had taken it, unknowingly ripping that choice from her with a nervous introduction and a shy smile. Stella had been smitten from the moment they met.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” she repeated, blinking away the nostalgia and recentering her focus.

“You’re distracted today. You know we don’t have to do this, right?”

“No,” she shook her head and leant in to kiss the redhead’s cheek, “I want to. I’m not upset, I promise. I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

Dana beamed at her, so confident and unreserved compared to the woman she’d first met. “I love you too.”

Silently, they both watched, captivated, as the clamps were attached to her nipples. The sensation was as she remembered - a not unpleasant ache. If memory continued to serve her well, then she knew that by the time they were taken off, that ache would morph into an underlying pain that undeniably fueled her pleasure.

With her outfit completed, she wasn’t exactly sure what would happen next. So when Dana grabbed the chain on her nipple clamps and gave them a light pull, she couldn’t stop the surprised squeal that bubbled up from her throat.

“Who’s in control, baby?” her domme asked, composed as ever, making a point of looking down at her clamped nipples and then back up at her face.

Her reply came out as a whimper. “You are, Miss.”

Dana’s smile changed then, switching from joy to heavy-set satisfaction. It stayed in place as they both stood there, strengthened by the increasing excitement in Stella’s eyes and the slow removal of the redhead’s clothes, coming off one by one.

“Get on the bed.”

She turned, unconsciously tilting her head as she tried to work out how best to follow the command, and ended up looking back for help. Their bed was rather tall and her hands were rather tied. If she tried hard enough, she could probably get up there, but it would be with neither grace nor decorum. Besides, a little helplessness didn’t bother her. Not when Dana was the one picking up the slack.

“Help me, please.”

“So polite,” Dana chuckled, taking hold of her arms and keeping her balanced whilst she climbed up onto the mattress.

“Thank you, Miss.”

Once she was situated on her knees, Dana joined her on the bed, ending up on all fours just in front of her and glancing seductively over one shoulder, somehow keeping a tight grip on the atmosphere of the scene all the while.

“Who’s in control?”

Her gaze drifted from the redhead’s face, down across her back, and lingered on her ass, captured even more so by a slight, teasing shimmy. “You are, Miss.”

Dana laughed and dropped her forehead down to the sheets. Her hair fell from her shoulders, obscuring either side of her face, and her back arched sinfully, getting herself into position.

“Go on, baby,” then came another wiggle of her perfect ass, “fuck me. You know you want to.”

As Stella leant forwards, spreading her legs for stability, the chain on her nipple clamps swung, making her groan at the sharp tug on her breasts and causing her to waver. But she managed to stay upright, and after that it wasn’t too difficult to tilt her hips and align the toy strapped to her harness with Dana’s entrance. Well, after a few tries anyway.

“Good girl,” her domme moaned as she pushed the toy in.

“Thank you, Miss,” she replied, cautiously bringing her hips back and forth until her pelvis was flush with Dana’s ass.

Tentatively, she found a rhythm, constantly tensing her thighs to keep herself stable whilst delighting in the happy groans that began to fill the air. She’d fucked her girlfriend with a strap before, too many times to count. Yet, somehow, this experience felt completely new. She felt nothing like she had in the past. Until now, she’d done this as Dana’s equal at the very least, and as the person in charge more often than not. But the lure of subspace and the feeling of being used for her partner’s pleasure gave the act an entirely novel air.

Dana was right; Stella was giving as opposed to receiving, but she was by no means in control.

As that realisation swept her mind, she felt a surge of wetness at the apex of her thighs. It made her wonder if the inner straps of the harness would be soaked through by the time she was done.

“Harder.”

The command was obeyed without a second thought. She rocked her hips and did exactly as she’d been told, trying her best to ignore the consistent ache in her nipples every time the clamp chain swung forwards. Whiny murmurs were swallowed down on every thrust, but she knew some must be getting through, and her assumption was confirmed when she heard the redhead laugh.

“Are your nipples getting sore?” Dana asked, shifting slightly to one side and reaching down beneath herself.

Nothing but the desired, subservient response even occurred to her. “Yes, Miss.”

“Mmm, I bet they are. But I still want more. Fuck me harder.”

Bracing herself for the pain, she buried the strap deep and grasped the connector between her cuffs, needing something, anything, to hold onto and think about other than the stinging sensation that barely faded between thrusts. Looking down at them, she saw how her nipples had flushed, ever-so-slightly darker than normal and still very much erect within their metal confines. A part of her hated it. A part of her loved it. And a part of her relished that confusion. She didn’t have to decide how she felt.

She didn’t have to decide anything at all.

“Oh, yes,” Dana moaned. “Just like that, baby.”

She maintained her speed, wanting to behave as well as she could, and noticed changes beginning to take shape in Dana’s behaviour. Trembles and shudders heralded the climax that was soon to arrive. The calf beside her left thigh brushed against her, rising from the bed, taut and restless. One of Dana’s arms was hidden, but Stella didn’t need the usual depth of her mental faculties to work out what was clearly happening. Not least thanks to the fingertips that occasionally drifted back far enough to tickle her inner thighs.

Her hips moved and Dana’s hand worked, and soon she felt the harness shift around her pelvis due to the pressure being placed on the toy. Despite being unable to feel the pulsing movements herself, she knew from experience that the redhead’s inner walls were rippling and convulsing around her strap. The feeling in her nipples faded into background noise. Nothing occupied her mind except giving her domme as much pleasure as she could.

“Ohhh, good girl!”

Hesitating for a millisecond, she made the difficult decision to go against her orders. Although she hadn’t been told to slow down at any point, she knew full well that Dana’s orgasm would be more satisfying if she opted for a few rougher, deeper thrusts, slowly dragging the toy almost all of the way out between each one.

In fact, the decision wasn’t hard at all. Not the decision to disobey, but the decision to do everything in her power to satisfy her domme. Future punishments for misbehaviour would never compare to the personal disappointment of knowing that she could’ve given Dana more pleasure, and had chosen not to. That choice seemed practically unforgivable. No, more than that, she simply couldn’t make it. Dana’s increased pleasure was the only possible path ahead.

What disobeying also meant, however, was that her nipple clamps no longer swung wildly. The chain settled against her stomach and the small twinges that she felt with every sensual roll of her hips made her grit her teeth, almost wishing for the pain of earlier in its place. Her nipples were desperately oversensitive; she would’ve flinched were a light breeze to blow through the bedroom. Everything was heightened now that she’d slowed down enough to make sense of it.

As Dana relaxed from her orgasm, she collapsed forwards onto the bed, unsheathing the strap and leaving Stella to awkwardly kneel there whilst she got her bearings.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

Stella relaxed down, sitting on her heels, and waited for further instruction. She would’ve liked to comfort the redhead. In any other scenario, she would’ve offered support and perhaps a hug, tucking Dana in beneath her arm and whispering aimlessly but sweetly. However, she was in no state to take control like that. She also knew that, even if she could somehow take off her own cuffs and reach out, the support wouldn’t be accepted anyway. As she’d been more than clearly told, the scene wasn’t over.

With the languid nature of a woman satiated, Dana rolled onto her back and trailed her gaze up Stella’s body. She did the same, though with perhaps a little less composure. Dana’s breathing was yet to return to normal, and her supple breasts swayed with every breath, tantalising and mouth-watering. She wanted to taste them, lick them, suck them. She wanted to be the one left heaving for air. The view lower down was no less sumptuous. The curve of her waist gave way to the swell of her hips, and the expanse between was as smooth and soft as anything. Her stomach wasn’t as toned as the muscles Stella had spent countless hours building in the pool, but that diminished nothing about its perfection. She wanted to rest her head there, feel Dana’s arms wrap so tightly around her that she couldn’t hear a thing, and drown out all in the world but their love for one another.

“Honey?”

Her eyes flicked up to her domme’s face, sheepish at having been caught staring. Dana smiled at her, honest and reassuring, and slowly rose from the bed to sit up in front of her.

“You did so well,” a hand reached out for her, fingers encircling one of the straps around her pelvis, “but I still want more.”

“How do you want me, Miss?”

Dana paused, her eyes becoming unfocused, and Stella wished more than anything that she could witness the images that must’ve been flashing through her domme’s mind.

“I want to ride you.”

Without further explanation, Dana got off the bed and came around behind her, pulling her legs out from underneath her and keeping a hand on her back so that she didn’t fall whilst being repositioned. She was made to sit on her ass with her legs out in front of her, and her hands curled into fists, pressing down into the mattress behind her for stability. It would’ve been easier if she could stretch her arms out, but the cuffs stayed where they were, keeping her reliant on Dana.

Having had time to get used to them, she hardly noticed her nipple clamps anymore. She knew the pain would return when they were taken off, but for now, it had dulled to being almost unnoticeable. It certainly wasn’t more noticeable than the woman climbing back onto the bed and straddling her lap, confidently looking down at her as if this were her only purpose in life.

To serve.

A hand wrapped itself up in her hair and she moaned gratefully as Dana tilted her head up and kissed her. It was slow and hypnotising, being kissed like that, and the tongue that slipped inside her mouth felt like it took all of the power she had left when it departed.

“Mmm,” the redhead hummed, eyes closing as her body descended and her sex began to take the strap, “that feels nice.”

Stella looked up at her in awe. “How can I make it better, Miss? I want to make you feel good.”

Reaching back, Dana grabbed Stella’s legs and tugged them apart, hooking under her knees and dragging them upwards until her feet were flat on the bed.

“Fuck me, baby. As hard as you can.”

Her hands shifted up the mattress, moving as far as they could until her shoulders started to protest, and she slid her feet further out to either side, giving herself as much area to work from as possible. The pose was awkward and not entirely comfortable, but she didn’t care. Any discomfort she felt was swept away by the hitched groan she heard when her ass raised off the bed and the toy pushed deep into her domme.

The speed and intensity were far harder to maintain like this than they had been when she was on her knees. It was more of a workout than she was used to doing in bed. But, however hard it was, she endeavoured to keep going, thrusting her hips and intently watching her reward - the enjoyment written clear across Dana’s face.

The redhead put a hand on Stella’s shoulder and slipped the other down, furiously stroking her clit whilst bouncing slightly every time the strap bottomed out inside her. Her body looked wrought with arousal and Stella couldn’t get enough.

Her second orgasm came about faster than the first, marked by a softly uttered, “Stop,” as she sunk down into Stella’s lap and rolled her hips to press the toy against herself.

This one was more gentle, more delicate, than the last. Dana was ethereal, her form divinely sculpted and her whispered moans gossamer as they drifted through the quiet room. As she settled, her lips, the stuff of plush fantasies, parted with a sigh.

“Good girl.” Her sumptuous, indulgent tone left Stella reeling.

Stella didn’t just want to serve her anymore. No, she had to serve her. Needed to. She needed to devote anything and everything to her. Only then, stripped bare of all materialities and lower, unimportant purpose, would she feel deserving, safe in the knowledge that she had nothing more to give.

“I adore you,” she whispered, her voice cracking with sincerity. Neither one of them commented on the tears that were pooling in the corners of her eyes.

Dana didn’t reply. At least, not with words. But the deep-set love that Stella could feel her giving off was a reply in its own way. Although their current approaches were antithetical, she knew without having to be told that she was adored just the same. Dana told her so often, and showed her so regularly. The words didn’t need to be said right now for her to still believe them.

Bringing her into a hug, the redhead leant down and unclipped her cuffs before rubbing her back and nuzzling against the side of her face, leaving her to giggle when lips tickled the outer shell of her ear. “I want to ride this pretty face.”

She nodded eagerly, unbothered by the laughter her enthusiasm received. “Yes, please.”

Her freed arms were pulled from behind her back to sit by her sides, clearing the way for Dana to push her down flat to the bed and shuffle up her torso. She watched, silent and happy, until a particular sensation drew itself out of her mind’s background noise and made its presence known once more.

“Oww,” she whined.

“Poor thing. Let me take those off you.”

The sympathy in Dana’s voice contrasted the excitement on her face, and Stella didn’t know which to trust as hands reached for the clamps still firmly clasped around her nipples. Gritting her teeth again couldn’t stop the sharp feeling caused by a rush of blood when the clamps were carefully taken off. Her arms were trapped within the hold of Dana’s thighs, straddling her waist, and all she could do was let out a pained sigh, both displeased and aroused by the almost electrifying sparks that jolted through her nipples.

“Is that better, honey?”

“I don’t know, Miss,” she answered honestly. “They still hurt.”

The clamps were chucked towards the bedside table and a hand came down over her face, stroking back her hair and petting her cheek fondly. “Do you remember what I said earlier? Is it the bad kind of pain? Or is it the good kind, the kind I know you like?”

Her honesty was begrudged then, even though Dana was right. Perhaps, it was begrudged purely because Dana was right. “The good kind, Miss.”

“I can make them feel even better. Watch.”

Wide-eyed and open-mouthed, she did as told, watching the redhead bend down to her chest and swipe her tongue across her nipple.

“Ahh,” she sighed, unsure whether the noise came from pain or pleasure, though she soon realised that it was probably both.

Moving from one to the other and then back again, her nipples were licked and sucked until the pain of the clamps had disappeared, overshadowed by wet heat and the bliss that she often found when being offered affection whilst in subspace. Being the object of her domme’s attention felt special. She felt special. She felt as if being deemed worthy of this affection was the highest praise there could be.

“How’s that, baby?” Dana murmured, glancing up from against her chest with half-closed eyes and a self-satisfied smile. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, Miss. Thank y-”

“Uh uh,” a finger was pressed to her lips, “don’t tell me. Show me how grateful you are.”

Although she kept quiet, Stella knew her eyes must’ve lit up at the reminder of what was about to happen. Dana smiled down at her too knowingly for her to have hidden her anticipation well.

When thighs rested on either side of her head and the intoxicating smell of arousal filled her nose, she felt, more than anything, at home. Her tongue got to work without deliberate thought and her arms - free now that Dana had moved - reached up to curl around the redhead’s thighs, wanting to smother herself with what could only be described as heaven.

Not Heaven in a Christian sense, but heaven to her. It wasn’t a place but a feeling, a comfort, a security. Nothing could get to her; she couldn’t be hurt here; she was safe. Carnally free. Her eyes fell closed and her mouth opened wide, wishing to swallow down as much of Dana’s transcendent, ineffable essence as possible. Any moans she heard were drowned out by her own. For the first time, though she wasn’t so consciously aware as to realise it, she felt truly beyond physical reality.

She wasn’t just caught up in pleasure, no; she had abandoned herself to it.

By the time that Dana came, squirting lightly against her lips and quivering above her face, she was nearly on the verge of coming herself. Untouched in physical reality, yet basking in metaphysical rapture.

“You really are grateful,” Dana said, lazy with post-climactic stupor in both body and tone as she swung her leg over Stella’s chest and sat to one side of her body.

Her eyes didn’t want to open, but she convinced herself with the reward of being able to gaze up at her domme. Although she had less direct cause, her voice was similarly heavy as she replied, “I am, Miss. For everything.”

Dana unclipped the strap harness and took it off her, setting it out of the way, before lying down against her side, propped up on one arm.

“You’ve been such a good girl today. You behaved so nicely.”

“Does that mean...” she shied away from actually asking, hoping that Dana wouldn’t force her to.

“Do I think you deserve a reward? Yes, I do, baby. But the rule still applies.”

Her frustrated pout was immediate and incredulous. “What rule?”

“I’m in charge, but I’m not going to fuck you. That’s your job today, isn’t it?”

“Fine,” she huffed, making the redhead chuckle.

“I just called you a good girl. Don’t start misbehaving now.”

Cautiously, she reached up to take hold of Dana’s hand, interlocking their fingers. The frustration hadn’t completely left her, but she was beginning to feel a hint of remorse. “Sorry, Miss.”

“It’s alright, honey. I think all of your good behaviour still outweighs the bad.”

The redhead lifted their joined hands to kiss the side of her palm, then let go of her, wrapping the hand she’d just been holding around her throat, above the path of her collar. The grip was secure rather than constricting, but she knew that, in time, fingers would surely press into the dips just below her jaw. Her inner thighs grew damp with arousal as she clenched them together. It would’ve been altogether Pavlovian had she not already been nearly dripping to begin with.

“You can start now,” Dana permitted, staring down at her and gently squeezing her throat.

Her hands explored her own body, teasing herself and helping to build up her nerve. She was exposed here. On show. The exposure of submission was one thing. However, that emotional vulnerability, that bravery to bare herself, wasn’t quite the same. She’d never suffered from any severe bouts of performance anxiety, but she’d never done much in the way of revealing herself either. Fine silks and delicate lace had always been her armour, allowing her to distract with detail and disguise her own apprehension. This visibility, this performance - as it could well be described, sent her brain whirring and her heart pounding.

Starting with her breasts, she gasped in oversensitivity, her head tipping back against the sheets and her neck revealing itself to her domme’s safe hand. Her nipples didn’t sting like they had earlier. Nevertheless, they were ready for her touch, damp with saliva and firm with arousal. From either side, she cupped her breasts and circled the pads of her middle fingers around her nipples.

Dana softened - in expression, not in the hand that controlled her - and kissed her temple. “You’re doing so well, baby. Keep going.”

She turned her head as far as she could, hoping to lose herself within the primal, hungry look in Dana’s eyes. And lose herself she very well did.

Blue depths compelled her, swirling with desire and rippling with thirst. Thirst for her. A primordial, uncontrollable need to see her come apart at her own hand. She sank willingly, falling, drowning, until those depths surrounded her, until nothing was real beyond her searching fingers and her trusted domme. The waters were warm but unforgiving, heated by loving sun but set frenzied by passion. Although she was too deep to feel the pull of the waves overhead, she fell prey to vicious currents, taunting her with moments of calm before hitting her with their full, brutal force.

Unknowingly, her hands had travelled further, the first two fingers of her right already pushing inside her whilst those of her left rubbed her clit with frantic, near delirious motions. When Dana choked her again, her fingers went from pushing gently to thrusting deep inside, as far as they could reach. Her eyes rolled back and a groan was released from somewhere deep in her chest.

It felt like she was being touched at her very core. The tips of her fingers brushed her g-spot and her chest rose from the bed, pushing herself up against the redhead’s hand. Her knees bent, her feet dragged up the bed, and she used that purchase much like she had earlier with the strap, fucking herself so hard that her wrist began to ache. At this point, she was so focused on making herself come that she could barely feel the pain.

“You’re nearly there,” Dana said. “I can’t wait to see you come.”

“Fuck,” she whimpered in response, her brows knitting and her eyelids fluttering as she brought herself to the edge.

As the climax hit her, she felt the dizzying rush of Dana’s hand clamping down on her throat, restricting her blood flow and heightening the orgasm that came crashing over her. Her body shook with overwhelming pleasure and her mind went blank but for the image of her domme’s face watching on. Her fingers slowed their energetic movements, only stopping once the peak faded.

Entirely limp apart from stray muscle twitches that ran down her thighs, she played little part in the redhead turning her onto her side and pulling her into a cuddle. Arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders and a leg draped protectively over her own; all she had to do was unconsciously nuzzle into the crook of Dana’s neck, letting out a blissful, satisfied hum whilst passion was replaced with calm and her immediate needs were taken care of.

Rambling praise was whispered against the top of her head, sweet and gentle as they lay there.

“I love you, my good girl. You were so brave to let me see you like that. You’re incredible. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. I’m proud of how safe I’ve been able to make you feel. I always want that for you. You deserve it, baby. You deserve to be treated like the special, amazing woman that you are. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk yet, I just needed to tell you that.”

“I love you too, Miss,” she managed to reply, the haze across her mind forcing her to speak slowly, “and you’re right. I deserve to feel safe. Thank you for making me feel like this.”

A choked, happy sob was quickly muffled against her forehead, and though she was still dazed, Stella was at least compos mentis enough to work out what the sound meant. She snaked her top arm out from within their hug and put it around Dana’s waist, tugging their bodies even closer and letting comfort be shared rather than merely received.

Once they were both slightly more put together, Dana rolled onto her back and brought Stella along with, cuddling her in against her chest.

“We’re going to buy that toy.”

She smiled. “Yes, Miss.”

“But first, we’re going to go downstairs and get some water.”

Lifting her head, she let Dana see the smile still on her face and took a moment to bask in the warm, caring expression that she got in return.

“Yes, Miss.”

Notes:

this chapter is brought to you by Judith Butler's discussion of Luce Irigaray's analysis of Plato's Timaeus in Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of ‘Sex’ (or rather, from my reading of that discussion given that I somehow doubt they had smutty fanfic in mind haha)

please let me know what you think! 💕 and thank you as always to Amber for all of your help 💕

Chapter 19: Edging

Rarely did Dana feel less patient than after a certain, much-anticipated package arrived.

Stella got home around the usual time, but Dana felt as though it had been days rather than hours, and she practically pounced on the blonde the second the front door was closed.

“I’ve got something to show you.”

A brief trip to the living room soon ended once Stella saw what she was talking about, and they both hurried upstairs to the bedroom, filled with excitement. Stella immediately began to undress whilst Dana opened up the package and laid the harness out on the bed in order to take a better look at it.

“Are you ready?” she asked, glancing up at her now naked girlfriend.

Stella smirked and walked towards her, confidently stepping in front of her and relaxing into her arms when she naturally wrapped them around her waist.

“Always, Miss.”

Dana rubbed the tip of her nose against the side of her throat and squeezed her close before letting go. “Be a good girl and stay still for me. I’ll need to adjust the straps to make it fit you perfectly.”

“Yes, Miss.”

Although she’d seen it before, Dana could never grow bored of how comfortable Stella looked - how entirely happy. The blonde stood there as directed with barely a trace of nervous energy or apprehension, only anticipation.

After undoing enough straps to put the harness on, she picked it up and draped it over Stella’s shoulders, buckling it loosely to keep it up before moving back in to tighten everything. Studiously, she adjusted each piece in turn, and never one to be unprepared, she delighted in the fact that both the teal leather and the gold buckles exactly matched the collar and cuffs that they already owned.

Her focused approach did detour, however, whilst she fiddled with the straps around Stella’s breasts. She couldn’t help but toy with her sub a little, leaving her wanting more. Dana’s fingers stroked the outer swell of her breasts and her thumbs brushed across her nipples. A quick glance up at Stella’s face told her that her teasing had not gone unnoticed.

“Good girl,” she said, leaning forwards to kiss her sternum before moving on.

Right over the middle of her stomach, a large ring connected the upper and lower halves of the harness, matched by a similar ring over the centre of her back. Dana slipped both hands around her waist and pressed up against her chest, centring the rings in place to start working on the lower straps. She could feel Stella’s shaky breathing, hear her quiet panting, and see her body twitching, sensitive to even the lightest touch.

The panting was broken by a sudden gasp when she grabbed hold of the harness.

“I could tie you up in this,” she whispered, “and leave you there for hours, edging you until you’re begging to come.”

Much to her amusement, Stella groaned helplessly before replying, “Go on then. Do it.”

“Really, baby? Are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Stella said immediately.

If they’d been excited to begin with, they were frenzied now. She tightened up the rest of the straps and quickly led the blonde over to the wardrobe, opening the door so that they could both look at her in the full-length mirror. Falling into position, Dana stood behind her and took hold of her waist, watching over her shoulder as she looked at herself wearing the harness for the very first time.

“I love it,” Stella said after a minute or so, continuing to stare at herself and reaching up to feel the straps across her torso. “Thank you, Miss.”

Carefully, she lifted her hands, one cupping Stella’s jaw and the other gripping the back of her neck to turn her head, forcing her to look away from the mirror and towards her domme.

“No. Thank you, honey. I love how relaxed you are right now. You’re being very brave.”

“No,” the blonde retaliated, giggling at her frown. “You’re right to an extent. It’s taken a lot of work for me to gain this confidence. But it would be more than fair to say that you’ve played a part. Although I appreciate all of your praise, and I really do, you deserve credit as well.”

The dramatic rolling of her eyes was tempered somewhat by the grin on her face. “Fine. I’ll thank myself too. Are you happy now?”

“Yes, Miss.” Stella gave her a quick kiss before turning back to the mirror.

Letting go of her head, Dana held onto the straps on either side of her hips and watched her watch herself for a few more minutes.

“Are you ready, baby?”

“Absolutely, Miss.”

Having overcome the initial sight of Stella in her new harness, they moved towards the bed. Dana got out her collar, cuffs, and a hairband before turning to put them on, finding her on her knees, already getting into the scene. Her legs were spread slightly, revealing the straps that curved around her upper thighs; her hands were folded in her lap, fidgeting as they so often did when she was aroused.

Dana tied her hair back out of the way, swapped her necklace for her collar, and then said, “Arms up.”

Without a second’s delay, Stella raised both arms and held them still whilst her consent cuff was removed. Her leather cuffs were then fastened around her wrists, still unclipped from one another.

“Good girl. On the bed.”

Stella stood up and began to climb onto the bed, but paused on her knees to ask, “How do you want me, Miss?”

“Hmm.” Dana left her jewellery on the bedside table, then walked up behind her and gently pushed her forwards, tipping her at the waist until she was forced to lean on her hands. “Stay just like that. No.” Dana pushed her further, down to her chest, and brought her arms behind her back. “Like that.”

The ring that sat against Stella’s back was too perfectly placed for Dana not to clip her cuffs to it, restraining her there so that the most she could move would be to sink her hips down to the bed. She didn’t, however; she listened, staying on her knees and waiting patiently to be given another instruction. Leather straps ran across Stella’s ass, sitting to either side so that her sex was exposed, and Dana wondered how much better they would look with marks from her whip and bruises from her hand beneath them. 

“Remind me to make you wear this next time you misbehave. It’ll be nice having something to hold onto when I spank you.”

“Yes please, Miss,” came Stella’s eager response, accompanied by a small wiggle of her ass.

For that alone, she gave her sub a reward, smacking her ass with a precise, firm touch and revelling in her needy moan. The reaction excited Dana; if Stella was this on edge already, then multiple rounds of edging were going to be absolute torture.

“I thought about using toys on you,” she explained, getting up onto the bed behind Stella and grinding her clothed crotch against her almost nude ass. “But not today. I want to tease you until you’re begging for me. My hands. My tongue. I’ll make it up to you with as many toys as you can handle next time.”

“Promise?”

She laughed as she bent down over the blonde, fingers tracing up the straps across her back until they reached her collar, where they curled around the strip of leather and tightened it against her throat. Dana’s next words were spoken in a low purr behind her ear.

“Yes, baby, I promise. Next time, I won’t edge you. I’ll use every toy we’ve got. Instead of begging to come, you’ll be begging me to stop.”

She let go of the collar whilst Stella nodded hurriedly and clutched at the front of her shirt with her restrained hands.

“So eager,” she taunted as she sat up and grabbed Stella’s hands, forcing her fingers into the blonde’s grip to free herself.

“Always, Miss,” Stella repeated.

Taking that as a cue to begin, she sat down, spreading her legs to fall on either side of Stella’s body. Her hands took hold of the straps that ran across the blonde’s hips and her head dipped forward, her neck tilting so that she could swipe her tongue up Stella’s sex in a broad, sudden stroke.

“Oh!”

The surprised moan made Dana smirk. She leant her cheek against Stella’s ass and murmured, “You need to tell me when you get close, baby.”

“Yes, Miss,” Stella groaned, frustration at what she’d signed up for ringing through in her voice.

Moving back in, Dana licked her, slower this time, tracing the outer edges of her labia before venturing deeper. She teased her entrance, circling with the tip of her tongue, then dropped lower towards her clit. The blonde jolted forwards at the first gentle lap of her tongue, so she repeated the motion. Methodically, up and down, she teased Stella’s clit and listened to the whiny noises that began to build.

After another pass, thrusting her tongue into Stella’s entrance, she returned to her clit and earned her first warning.

“I’m close!”

Dana stopped immediately and cuddled into her from behind, head resting on top of her ass and arms snaking around to hug her thighs. “Such a good girl.”

Stella’s fingers brushed across her forehead and she lifted her chin, reaching up to kiss them softly.

Watching quietly, she waited until Stella’s body calmed from its near climactic height, feeling her muscles relax and her breathing slow. It took a while - long enough that she had to wonder if they’d be here all night. But if that proved true, then so be it. Nothing held more appeal than a night spent teasing Stella to the edge. Again and again. Unrelenting until Stella gave up. Or at least, that’s how she hoped the night would end. They did have work in the morning to consider.

“Round two,” she whispered, pressing a final kiss to her sub’s fingertips and sitting back for access.

She didn’t start so gently anymore; she wanted Stella to feel it, to feel the rising surge of desire in the knowledge that it would soon be snatched away. Her tongue pushed inside and her chest released a deep, lustful moan as she tasted the blonde’s wetness. Her hands grabbed trembling legs and her eyes fell shut, all sensory processing devoted to the feel of Stella’s body, the sound of her desperation, and the taste and scent of her arousal.

Whilst drinking her in, Dana didn’t feel quite so in charge. Ultimately, she held control, but with her face pressed against her sex, that hold was made up of the barest, fleeting grasp. She was nearly as much prey to her sub’s divine body as her sub was to her domination.

That loss of power made it all the harder for her to pull herself away when Stella whimpered, “Close.”

However, she managed it somehow, and she leant back in time to feel her own sex pulsing at the sight of Stella, watching a trickle of arousal leak from her entrance and drip down onto the sheets. Usually, it took more work than that to leave her dripping.

“You’re enjoying this,” she made her ass jiggle with another smack, “aren’t you?”

Stella’s gasp at being spanked quickly rolled into another moan. “Yes, Miss.”

She wanted to keep the mood positive, so she switched up her position as they moved into the third round, getting up onto her knees so that she could lay herself over Stella’s harnessed back and cuffed hands. She didn’t have a specific goal in mind for how many rounds they would get through; the only real aim was for them both to be satisfied, and she was more than satisfied already by the needy, whimpering mess that she’d managed to reduce her sub to.

Thrusting her hips, she grinded firmly against Stella’s ass and reached around to play with her breasts. Her mouth left wet kisses across the nape of Stella’s neck whilst her hands pushed against the mattress to cup her breasts, sliding beneath them and lightly squeezing just to feel her shudder, revelling in the power of being able to fondle her restrained body.

“Mmm,” Stella hummed, her back arching deeper to push herself against Dana’s hands and pelvis. “That feels nice.”

She smiled at the reaction and pressed her lips against the blonde’s shoulder blade. “Ready for more?”

Rather than give the usual response, she watched as Stella nodded slowly, feeling her body continue to rock with the unconscious drive of seeking pleasure. One of Dana’s hands slid across to grip the strap lying between Stella’s breasts and the other stroked down her stomach, all the way to her sex.

They both groaned as two fingers slipped inside her - Stella most likely from relief, Dana most certainly from the ease with which she was able to enter her. Wetness coated her tight inner walls, letting Dana thrust smoothly whilst continuing to slowly hump her ass. From either side, Stella was trapped in, willingly forced to take Dana’s searching fingers. Another delightful groan spilled from her when those fingers found their place, brushing against her g-spot and curling deep inside her.

Dana changed nothing, staying exactly as she was. She wanted Stella to be pushed to the edge from the slightest movement of her fingers alone; she wanted Stella so desperate and finely tuned to her touch that no more than a mere flick of her wrist was what stood between the torturous precipice and the sinful abyss.

“I’m close,” Stella whined in preemptive defeat.

“Shhh,” she soothed her, pulling out of her sex whilst nuzzling into the crook of her neck. “Good girl. You’re doing so well, honey.”

“Really, Miss?”

There was the faintest glimmer of hope in her sub’s voice, and she immediately knew what was needed. Stella wasn’t asking an honest question; no, it was a plea for the kind of sickly sweet comfort that only she could provide, and only when Stella was deep enough in subspace not to be embarrassed about liking it.

“Yes, baby,” she said. “I know how hard this is, and I’m so proud of you. I’ve got a reward for you later. But we need to finish this first. Just a few more rounds and I’ll let my good girl come. Then you can find out what your present is. Would you like that?”

“Yes, please!”

She laughed fondly at the sudden uptick in Stella’s enthusiasm. “Okay, my-”

“Uhh,” Stella interrupted before faltering, seemingly shy.

“What is it?”

“Can you,” Stella paused again, “can you call me a... slut? But in that tone of voice. The nice one.”

Shaking her head slightly in disbelief, she felt her smile widen as she cooed, “Do you like being my cute slut?”

“Yes, Miss.” Stella shocked her with an incredibly eager nod, jerking beneath her from the force of the motion.

“Is my slut ready to be fucked again?”

“Please, Miss!”

“So cute,” she mumbled against Stella’s neck as her fingers pushed inside.

Using her grip on the harness, she withdrew before slowly pulling Stella back onto her fingers. Wetness ran down her hand and smeared across the blonde’s inner thighs. Tauntingly, she stroked Stella’s g-spot with as light a touch as she could manage, toying and teasing until she heard a pleading whine. From there, she got firmer until her fingers were repeatedly burying deep and her palm was pressed against Stella’s clit.

Fidgeting hands tickled her stomach where her shirt had ridden up, and she masked her automatic flinch by pushing her own hand further up beneath Stella’s chest, pretending the sudden move was deliberate and wrapping her fingers around the front of the blonde’s throat. She didn’t squeeze; she simply kept her hand there, demonstrating her control without needing to work at it. The d-ring on the collar was nestled in her palm and her fingertips caressed the pulsing veins that ran down either side of Stella’s throat.

“What a good girl,” she whispered in Stella’s ear. “What a good slut. You’re taking this so nicely, baby, and I just want to keep going. You’re going to have to beg if you want to come. You know that, right? When it gets too much, and you can’t take another round, I’ll make you beg until I think you deserve it. Then, if you’ve been a really good slut, I’ll make you come so hard you scream.”

Stella whimpered quietly beneath her. “Oh, shit.”

Chuckling at the nervous resignation in her sub’s tone, she licked the outer shell of her ear before carefully biting down on her earlobe and humming in agreement.

It didn’t take long for Stella to near climax for the fourth time, and when she heard another resentful, “Close,” she let go, wiped her fingers clean, and sat up to look at the state she’d reduced Stella to.

From where Dana was sitting, Stella looked like she could barely hold herself up on her knees. Her body swayed from side to side, her ass shifting as she rocked, her arms tensing as though they could support her whilst cuffed behind her back, and both her cunt and asshole visibly clenched when Dana said, “You really do look like a slut.”

Slowly came the reply, “Thank you, Miss.”

Degradation had never been Dana’s preferred method for dominating Stella; when solely up to her, she chose softer praise to balance out the more intense experiences she was simultaneously subjecting her to. However, this new approach was far more appealing. Soft and degrading, all at once. Stella clearly liked it; she’d asked for it, after all. But Dana was starting to like it too.

She unclipped Stella’s cuffs from the harness, freeing her arms, and gently rolled her over onto her back. Her chest was heaving and her eyes were cloudy with submission, watching Dana and waiting patiently for her next instruction.

“Here.” She leant over to grab a water bottle she'd left on the bedside table earlier and opened it before lifting Stella's head and carefully bringing it to her lips. “I don't want you getting dehydrated.”

When Stella was finished, she set the bottle back on the bedside table and refocused on the scene. Perhaps strangely, it wasn't so much arousing as utterly charming to see her sub get right back into the moment with her. Stella lay there, biting her bottom lip, looking ready for whatever she had in store.

Her perfect little submissive, subservient only to her.

Her stunning girlfriend, more loved by her and more in love with her than she could truly fathom.

Her cute slut.

“You’re going to do it yourself this time, honey.”

Swinging a leg over Stella’s lower thighs, she straddled her and smirked as the seconds ticked by. It was both erotic and adorable to see her sub like this - higher functioning lost and brain muddled by submission, dressed in a harness that somehow made her look all the more perfect. This was her Stella, and hers alone. No one else even knew that this side of the woman existed.

“Yes, Miss,” Stella finally responded, lifting a hand to push it down between her thighs whilst continuing to stare up at Dana.

“That’s my good slut,” she praised. “You’re beautiful.”

After processing Dana’s words, Stella smiled and let out a giggle, though both were soon snatched away by a gasp when she began to finger herself. Her head tipped back and her eyes lost focus, marking the transition as she gave herself over to the pleasures of her own body.

Dana sat there whilst she drove herself higher, content to bask in her carefree attitude. Stella had a reward to come later, but this was Dana’s reward. A reward for cautiously and sensitively nurturing her girlfriend’s submissive nature, a reward for building an environment in which they could share this level of trust, and a reward for never once giving Stella reason to doubt her morals nor motivations.

She wasn't perfect. No one could be. Well, aside from Stella, she didn't think anyone could be perfect. But, apparently, she was safe enough and trusted enough for this. Unlike last time, Stella hadn't even hesitated, just listened and obeyed and looked dastardly sweet with a hand on her pussy and a relaxed, vacant sheen to her eyes.

When the time came, Stella stopped without protest.

“I’m close again, Miss.”

Her obedience warmed Dana’s heart, and she picked up Stella’s wet hand to drag it towards the blonde’s mouth, feeling the warmth in her heart spread in a rather more sinful direction as Stella dutifully licked her own fingers clean. She let go, but in such a willing state, Stella didn’t stop licking her fingers, keeping them in her mouth until Dana physically pulled them away.

“How do you taste, baby?”

“Good, Miss,” Stella said, another smile curling her lips.

“Mmhmm,” she agreed, “you always do.”

Without explaining herself, she took both of Stella’s hands and raised them over her head, clipping her cuffs together through the ring over the top of the headboard so that her arms were left hanging by her wrists, restrained above her. Afterwards, she lay down on top of her and cuddled her for a moment, giving her some extra comfort before they carried on with their evening.

Looking up at her cuffed wrists before glancing back down at her face, she said, “I need to make sure you can’t get away from me.”

Stella giggled again and made a half-hearted attempt to break free, yanking at her cuffs and sighing in pretend defeat. “I definitely can’t get away.”

“Good,” she murmured.

She raised herself up on her elbow and trailed her gaze across Stella’s face, taking in her expectant, hopeful expression.

“Ready for another round?”

“Yes, please!”

Stella’s enthusiasm brought about the same feeling in her, and she roughly shoved her hand down between the blonde’s thighs, pressing three fingers inside her this time. Eyes widened, then squinted beneath a furrowing brow, and then widened all over again.

“Thank you,” Stella moaned, squirming against her at the sensation of the abrupt fucking.

“You won’t be thanking me when I stop.”

As predicted, Stella became less and less agreeable the closer she came to her orgasm. Dana watched her, smirking at the tension that knitted her brow, and waited to hear the disappointment in her tone when she inevitably - if regrettably - obeyed the evening’s rule.

“Close,” Stella huffed, more annoyed than last time after a bout of sudden intensity.

The blonde’s bottom lip trembled as her expression morphed into a furious pout, and once Dana stopped fingering her, that’s exactly where her copious arousal was wiped, left smeared across her lips whilst she glared up at her domme. In any other circumstance, her intense glare might’ve been intimidating; Dana knew that it must regularly stop junior officers in their tracks. But here and now, it was hard to find anything about her intimidating whatsoever. The disastrously failed attempt to look anything other than adorable actually only served to make her even sweeter.

“My cute slut,” Dana said fondly, laughing as the mixture of praise and degradation immediately swept the fury from Stella’s face, replaced by adoration.

“Say it again, please.”

Dana leant down to lick the coating of arousal off her before kissing her between each word, loving how her lips puckered in anticipation. “My. Cute. Slut.”

On the last kiss, she felt Stella’s tongue poke out, and she managed to catch it between her teeth, refusing to let go until Stella grumbled - well, tried to grumble, a task made no easier by having her tongue halfway in Dana’s mouth.

“Do you want to keep going, baby?”

Stella sighed and nuzzled against Dana’s hand when she brought it to her face, softly stroking her cheek. “I think so, Miss. It’s... a lot. But I want to keep being your- your-”

Flushed with pride at how brave Stella was being, she cuddled back into her so that their faces were against each other, lips brushing along the edge of her sub’s jaw whilst her hand continued to stroke the opposite cheek. The position meant Stella couldn’t make eye contact, and she hoped that would be enough to push her over this last hurdle.

“Tell me what you are,” she whispered.

“Your-” After another brief hesitation, the last couple of words came out in a flurry. “Cute slut.”

Together, they shared a quick respite, letting Stella’s admission settle in the air. Dana grinned against her jaw, thinking about how the former word had almost certainly been harder for her to say than the latter. And yet, despite struggling, Stella had felt able to say them anyway.

“I’m proud of you. Thank you for trusting me.”

“I’m not going to thank you for edging me.”

Laughing at the segue, she let her get away with lightening the sentimental mood. “That’s fair, but I’m not done with you yet.”

She didn’t say another word, leaving Stella to work out what was next as she got up onto her knees and pushed the blonde’s legs apart. Laying down between them, she slung both over either shoulder and took hold of the straps around Stella’s hips, dragging her an inch or two down the bed, purely to show who was in charge.

Making a point of shifting her own body and finding the right position, she said, “I’ll be here for a while.”

Stella said nothing, but her head fell back against the pillows with a weary huff and her pelvis tilted upwards to give Dana more access, signalling the acceptance of her fate.

Starting with a light stroke of her tongue, parting Stella’s labia, Dana groaned at the state of her, feeling just how wet she was. Arousal still dripped from her entrance, ran slick across her inner thighs, and was already leaving a wet spot on the sheet beneath her. If that’s what had been made of her by their evening thus far, Dana could only dream of how wet she’d be by the time it was over.

Pushing Stella further than before, she built her right up to another whimpered, “Close,” in minutes, and barely gave her a chance to relax before going back in. She could tell from the way that thighs twitched around her head, from the sound of cuffs rattling as arms tensed, and from the writhing contortions of her sub’s body that they didn’t have much time until arousal would be overtaken by frustration.

Stella seemed like she could barely tell up from down or left from right by this point, but Dana had kept count and desperately wanted to aim for ten rounds. That is, she hoped, if Stella could make it until then.

“Fuck, I’m close,” Stella whined, her hips having taken on a constant rocking motion, pressing her sex up against Dana’s mouth.

Dana lifted her head up before Stella could seek out more stimulation and soothingly rubbed her hip. “Not long now, honey. Think you can last for two more?”

“I’ll try.”

Stella’s tone was preciously meek and unsure, in such contrast to her usual self. Dana felt giddy with affection, and though she rolled her eyes at her own reaction, she couldn’t stop the stupidly wide grin that appeared on her face. Nor could she deny the urge to kiss Stella’s inner thighs and relish the efforts of her adorably cute slut.

“That’s all I can ask, my very good girl.”

The next two rounds passed Dana by in a flash. Although - judging by Stella’s ceaseless whimpering and the manner in which her hips squirmed hard enough that she had to press an arm down across her stomach to keep her still - it passed a hell of a lot faster for one of them than the other. She tore herself away between rounds, fighting the desire to succumb to Stella’s whining and pleading. But soon enough, after they finally made it to ten, a helpless plea was exactly what did the redhead in.

Looking up at her, Dana watched her drag head up off the pillows, battling the heightened conflict in her body and begging quietly as a single tear broke through the defences at the corner of her eye.

“Please, Miss.”

Dana softened even more so than she already had, smiling sympathetically as she gave up on all notions of making the blonde beg any harder. “Alright, baby, I’ll make you come. You’ve earned it.”

Stella collapsed back down onto the pillows, languid with relief. But Dana wasn’t going to let her stay that way for long, not whilst trying to give her a fitting, rewarding climax for the edging she’d just put her through. Keeping one arm firm across her stomach, hand wrapped around one of the straps on her side, Dana positioned the other arm between her legs, pushing two fingers inside her whilst beginning to lick her clit again. A lewd, squelching sound formed at the end of each thrust, and Stella was even wet enough for a drip of arousal to run down Dana’s chin.

“Mmm,” she hummed against her, lips rumbling on her sex and causing her to moan.

When Stella tried to thrust up against Dana’s mouth, she used her arm to shove the blonde back down to the mattress, pinning her there and starting to fuck her harder for the disobedience. Two fingers became three, and they fucked her roughly, without mercy. Loud, unabashed moans filled the air and her body trembled beneath Dana’s hold, seemingly ramping itself up for the pleasure in store.

“Ohhh, fuck. Dana!”

That was the only warning she got before Stella broke, convulsing around her and squirting arousal across her face and hand, entirely lost to the most forceful climax she’d ever seen the blonde have. It felt like it went on forever, and not once did she stop licking or fingering to extend it all the more.

As Stella’s high did finally begin to fade, she sat up, wiped her face with the back of her hand, then shuffled forward on her knees until they were level with one another, where she lay back down on her side, draping her top arm and leg over her sub’s shivering body. She cuddled in close and rested her head on Stella’s bicep, leaving the cuffs on for now, before whispering gently to ease the comedown.

“I love you, baby. You’re amazing. You did so well tonight. I know how hard it must’ve been, but you were incredible. I could see how badly you were trying to hold on for me. You’re such a good girl. You’re my good girl, and I’m never going to stop saying how proud I am of you. You’re... You’re... Maybe I’ve run out of different ways to say it, but I’ll always be proud of you.”

Turning in towards her, a breath of air hit her face as Stella laughed silently through her nose. Tranquil blue eyes were still hazy with the depths of subspace, but they watched her up close, lazily mapping her features.

“I called you Dana,” Stella said, her speech slow and her voice cracked from shouting.

“Yes, you did,” she replied as she leaned further in and brushed their noses together. “But that’s probably the hardest I’ve ever seen you come, so you get a free pass.”

The hazy sea of blue disappeared once more behind closed eyelids as Stella breathed deeply and relaxed against her. “Thank you, Miss.”

“You’re welcome, baby.” She paused to reach her hand up to the blonde’s face, stroking her thumb across her cupid’s bow. “Remember, I’ve still got something for you. But I’ll stay right here until you’re ready.”

Stella hummed happily and kissed the pad of her thumb.

After five or so minutes spent simply absorbing her affection, Stella mumbled sleepily, “I’m ready now.”

Dana kissed her again before getting up, leaving her there on the bed whilst grabbing the marker she’d hidden in the chest of drawers. It was skin-safe and washable, and after finding inspiration online, she’d bought it immediately. They’d both enjoyed the effects of marking in the past, and she wasn’t uncomfortable with the thought of doing it again. At least, not with better aftercare plans in mind. But when she’d come across this idea, she’d jumped at the chance, realising that it might be a more gentle way to satisfy their urges during times when they weren’t up for the physical impact of whips or floggers.

Upon opening her eyes, the furthest Stella moved was to raise one eyebrow. “You bought me a pen?”

“This isn’t the present.”

She climbed back onto the bed and straddled Stella’s hips, looking down at the leather straps that criss-crossed over her body. The stretches of exposed skin between the straps gave Dana the perfect places to write.

“I know you liked being marked,” she explained, tracing her fingers along the outline of each patch of skin, loving how Stella’s muscles automatically tensed at the tickling, featherlight touch. “And this isn’t a replacement for that. It’s an alternative, for when you want me to mark you but you don’t feel like being whipped. This way, I still get to claim you as mine, but we can save the more intense stuff for when you really want it.”

“What are you going to draw?”

Smiling at Stella’s easy willingness, she waited for their eyes to meet before replying, “It’s a surprise, baby. You can find out when I’m done.” However, the instinctual drive to keep Stella relaxed and feeling safe made her add, “It’s nothing I haven’t already said to you today. There won’t be anything actually surprising, I promise.”

“Okay, Miss,” Stella said, matching her smile. “I trust you.”

That pure, heartfelt admission could always get her heated, and she tried to ignore her sub’s sweet giggles whilst failing to hide her own flushed cheeks and hastening breaths.

Letting out a deep sigh, she regained control and got to work, bending down over Stella’s torso and deciding where to start. In a fit of retaliation, she momentarily tickled the blonde’s neck with her lips. She was practised enough to quickly find the exact spot that would make Stella beg for mercy, and metallic rattling sounds cut through pitchy laughter as Stella tried to escape from her cuffs, but they fell silent again as soon as she pulled back, looking down with a knowing smirk.

“Behave,” she ordered.

A delightful, challenging sparkle lit up Stella’s eyes. “Yes, Miss.”

She started from the top, kissing the exposed patch of skin just below the highest strap on the harness. Moving down from there, she repeated herself, kissing Stella’s body before writing various words and phrases - anything that came to mind. The blonde remained still and pliant beneath her, besides a few muscles twitches when strokes of the pen hit particularly sensitive spots. Her recently discovered possessive streak took centre stage and she was enjoying the chance to sate it; Stella’s body was hers to explore, hers to claim, and her conviction in that knowledge grew with each line drawn.

Sitting back up over Stella’s hips, she said, “All done, baby.”

However, she soon found a problem with her plan. Stella couldn’t read any of what she’d written from there, and if they went over to the mirror, the reflection would show everything backwards.

“Do you mind if I take a photo, so you can see it?”

Stella thought for a few seconds. “Okay.”

Getting up yet again, she rifled through Stella’s discarded clothes to find her phone, then came back with it in hand, opting for Stella’s rather than her own so that the blonde had control over what happened to the image. She unlocked it and opened the camera before sitting down beside Stella on the bed.

“Smile for me.”

Perfectly, she managed to capture the moment at which Stella broke into a shy smile, and she briefly looked at the photo herself before unclipping Stella’s cuffs and handing the phone over. Stella rolled onto her side and she lay down behind her, spooning her with one arm wrapped around her waist, fingers teasing the metal ring over her stomach. Looking over her shoulder, she watched Stella zoom in to see each area in turn, and she read the words aloud as they lay there.

"Incredible."

"My good girl."

"Baby."

"My love."

"Beautiful."

"Perfect."

“All mine.”

Stella burst into laughter as the last few words came into focus, and she laughed along with, holding her close and whispering into her ear.

"I told you, baby, you're my cute slut."

"I didn't think you'd take to calling me that so fast."

She kissed the back of her shoulder and murmured, “It suits you.”

Dana’s hand fell from the metal ring as Stella put her phone on the bedside table and turned over to face her, smiling easily and snuggling in against her chest. She kept her arm over Stella’s waist and slipped the other between the bed and Stella’s body, hugging her properly. It had occurred to her beforehand that something like this might reignite their arousal, but all it really seemed to do was further ignite the already burning flames of their affection. She wanted nothing more than this - her sub, safe and happy in her arms.

“I want to stay here for a while,” she said. “But when we get up, do you want a bath or a shower tonight?”

Rather than respond with words, Stella buried herself in the crook of Dana’s neck and shook her head.

“Is something wrong?” she quickly asked, wondering how the mood had so suddenly shifted.

The blonde’s reply was quiet but reassuring, confessed against her neck in a wonderfully awkward tone. “No, I just don’t want to wash the writing off yet.”

A shameless grin appeared on her face and she rained kisses down on the top of Stella’s head; another muffled giggle only increased her fervour. She rolled onto her back, bringing Stella with her, and wrapped one of her legs around the blonde’s hips, unrelenting in her onslaught until she was satisfied. Although, she soon realised, she was unlikely to ever reach the point of satisfaction. Stella might’ve been collared, cuffed, and harnessed, but she was trapped all the same. Trapped by her heart.

“Okay, I won’t make you wash it off straight away. We'll go downstairs and get you a snack before we decide anything. But we can always do it again, if you want?”

“Yes, please.”

She squeezed Stella’s waist, and was about to relax when she heard, “Harder.”

“Ask me nicely,” she prompted.

Hands pushed against her torso as Stella lifted her head and let out her most infectious giggle yet.

“Harder, please, Miss.”

With an energetic growl, she tightened her grip whilst Stella collapsed back down on top of her, squirming in her arms, laughing against her chest, and clearly loving the chance to be silly with her.

Notes:

I wasn't sure about this one but I think I'm happy about the direction it ended up going in?? (the sappy direction, of course haha) but please let me know what you think! 💕

...also, when Dana said they're going to use every toy next time... Well, I don't know about every but they're going to use a lot...

Chapter 20: Toys

Anticipation.

That was the only word Stella could think of to describe how she felt. With a racing pulse and fidgeting hands, she waited as patiently as she could for Dana to come back downstairs and get her. Their last scene was enjoyable, no doubt about that, but having already learned of her fate for the next scene, she couldn’t help but immediately begin counting down the hours once the last scene was in the rear view.

“Yes, baby, I promise. Next time, I won’t edge you. I’ll use every toy we’ve got. Instead of begging to come, you’ll be begging me to stop.”

She knew Dana had been thinking about it nearly as much as she had. Planning, scheming, coming up with ways to push her beyond what they’d tried before. It had all come to a head earlier that day, when Dana had disrupted a peaceful Saturday afternoon by telling her that the plan had been finalised. As the redhead had clearly expected, she’d jumped at the idea, and so she’d been sent to the bathroom to prepare herself, having been told to wait in the living room after that.

Dana had promised that they would be using, “As many of our toys as I could fit into one scene.”

And whilst she sat there on the sofa, she could think about nothing else.

“Honey?” Dana called, heading through the open doorway. “Are you ready?”

She leapt up from the sofa. “Yes, Miss.”

“Someone’s excited.”

Her first instinct was to avert her eyes when Dana laughed at her, but she steeled herself and maintained eye contact, trying her best to be unashamed of her own enthusiasm.

“Yes, Miss,” she repeated. Despite being a little quieter, she was no less certain. “I am excited.”

Dana’s responding smile was rather less sexual than she’d expected it to be; instead, it was fond, as though her agreement wasn’t erotic but sweet. Having grown used to the way Dana saw her during most of their scenes, it should have come as no surprise. However, surprised she still was, and her unabashed approach faltered along with it.

Thankfully, Dana stepped in before she could lose all of her confidence. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs.”

She followed the redhead out of the living room and up the stairs, keeping one pace behind until they stepped into the bedroom, where she quickly got down onto her knees beside the bed. A box had been left on top of the chest of drawers, and she looked over at it curiously whilst Dana swapped her collars before helping her back up to her feet.

Her clothes were taken off next, and she continued to stare at the box, giving it the kind of intense focus that might let her see through to what was inside - if that were at all possible. When Dana put her clothes into the laundry basket and walked over to the chest of drawers, she hoped that her unspoken, insincere prayers had been answered.

But all that her domme pulled out were a few lengths of rope. The frustration must’ve been apparent on her face.

“Oh, baby,” Dana cooed, her tone sarcastic and amused. “Do you want to know what I’ve got planned for you?”

“Yes, please.”

Given how intense she knew the day’s scene could end up, it wasn’t the time to go in unprepared.

“First,” Dana eyed up the ropes before favouring one and leaving the rest on the bed, “I thought about putting you in your harness. But then I remembered how cute you look when I tie you up, so I picked ropes instead. This one’s going around your chest.”

She lifted her arms out of the way as the rope slipped across her upper back, and tipped her head down to watch it get tied in various knots around her breasts before looping over her shoulders.

“You do have one choice. Your nipples are getting clamped with something, but you can pick whether I use the metal clamps or some more rope.”

“How would the rope work?” she asked.

To demonstrate, Dana picked up a second, shorter piece and threaded it through the sides of the chest harness, then doubled back so that ropes ran directly across her breasts, above and below her nipples. They were pulled tight, pressing in against her flesh, and when she gasped, she could feel them gently restrict her chest. It didn’t stop her from breathing, but she knew the sensation would be constant and unavoidable as soon as she started panting later on. She quickly realised how inescapable it would be.

Her thighs clenched.

But then Dana grabbed yet another piece, this time snaking it through to wrap around both of the ropes over her breasts, tightening them together and leaving small gaps for her nipples. The result was rope clamps that were almost as tight as the metal ones she’d used before, and she knew that, with any movement, they would rub against her and make her even more sensitive than she already was.

“What do you think? This,” Dana gave a sharp tug to the side of the rope harness, causing the whole thing to tighten around her, “or the metal clamps?”

“This, please,” she whispered, staring down at herself with a mixture of shock and lust.

“I’m glad you like it, baby. I thought you would.”

With her chest harness complete, Dana started tying another length of rope around her waist. That one was taken down over her hips and tied off around her thighs, leaving the ends loose and dangling. The redhead slipped a few fingers between Stella’s skin and the ropes, checking that it wasn’t too tight anywhere.

“After I’ve finished tying you. I’m going to start with your ass. If you can’t take them all, it’s fine, but we’ve got two more sizes of plug that you’ve never tried, and I did promise that we’d be using as many toys as possible.”

She’d seen the size of the biggest plug when they bought it, and she didn’t have a clue how it was meant to fit inside her. It wasn’t massive by any means, but it was more than big enough.

“Okay.”

“After that,” Dana continued, holding her waist and acting ridiculously composed given the topic of their conversation, “I’ll get the first of the four vibrators you’re going to use today. Tha-”

“Four ?” she asked incredulously.

“Mmhmm, four.”

Taking a deep breath, she focused on the tight, relaxing sensation of her chest harness. “Okay, Miss.”

“Good girl. So, that one’s going in your pussy, and then I’m going to flog you. I won’t use the whip because I think that’ll be too much on top of everything else, but I know how much you liked it last time. This way, you get as much as I think you can handle.”

Gesturing towards her hips, she asked her next question. “And what are these other ropes for?”

“They’re going to hold the wand vibrator so I don’t have to. When I’m done flogging you, you’re going to kneel on the floor with the wand strapped to your thigh, and I’m going to fuck your face.”

Her mind was left reeling, trying to catch up to every step of the plan that Dana was laying out. Ropes and buttplugs and vibrators and floggers and then even more vibrators? She didn’t know what might be coming next. Another deep breath didn’t work so well to calm her down.

“Hey,” Dana said, gently snapping her out of her looming anxiety. “We don’t have to do all of this. You can say no to any of it, and you can always use your safe word if you need to.”

Without asking, she took a small step forward to end up right against Dana’s chest, leaning the side of her head on her shoulder. Dana didn’t comment, merely pulling her into a hug and rocking her slowly from side to side.

Whispering into the safety of her domme’s neck, she said, “Tell me the rest of the plan, please.”

“Next, I would put you back on the bed and get out the strap. I’d start with something smaller so you could get used to the feeling of that and the plug, and I’d use that palm vibrator we haven’t tried yet.”

She murmured her acknowledgement of what Dana was saying, though really she was far more focused on the soothing hands rubbing her lower back and the comforting scent filling her nostrils.

“When you’re ready, I would swap to a bigger toy, and I was thinking that we could try that gag you bought. But remember, you don’t have to agree to anything you don’t absolutely want. I’d put the suction vibrator on your clit for that one, and finally, I’d fuck you slowly with your glass dildo. Then apple juice and cuddles, and maybe a bath.”

Having nearly forgotten about the bit gag she bought a few weeks ago, it suddenly shoved itself to the front of her mind. A stressful day and a few glasses of wine down, she’d given in to the urge for some unnecessary online shopping, entertaining herself with the ersatz confidence of alcohol and a couple of sordid fantasies. To say Dana has been surprised when the parcel showed up would be understating it, but the gag had ended up ignored at the back of a drawer in their bedroom.

Or so she’d thought.

“Can I have a minute?”

“Of course you can, baby. Do you want me to keep holding you or do you want some time to yourself?”

She shook her head and grabbed the hem of Dana’s shirt, anchoring them together.

It wasn’t that she was against any of the ideas that Dana had come up with; rather, she was uncomfortable with just how much she liked them all. She’d gotten to a point of trusting this. This desire for submission and this feeling of safety when collared and held in her domme’s arms. She trusted that Dana wouldn’t judge her, she trusted the respect and care her body would be treated with, and she trusted her own agency in the whole process. But trusting the process and willingly acknowledging that she wanted to be tied up, fucked, flogged, and gagged were two entirely different things.

How had Dana described it? She needn’t agree to anything that she didn’t ‘absolutely’ want. As much as the reassurance calmed her, it hardly made her task any easier. In essence, by agreeing, she was therefore admitting just how deep these urges ran, just how ‘absolute’ her wants and wishes really were.

“I want it,” she breathed, barely speaking aloud. “I want it all.”

Saying nothing, Dana stopped hugging her and forced her hands from their grip, unfurling her fingers and making her let go. Her body was turned and pushed towards the bed before Dana stepped behind her. She climbed up onto the bed on her knees, allowing herself to be manipulated, and settled her chest down against the sheets when a hand pushed against her back, leaving her bent over and exposed. As though compelled, her arms slipped behind her back, and her forearms came to rest over her spine as she relaxed into position.

Her nipples began to sting, irritated by the ropes and sheets that rubbed against them.

“I could bind your arms as well. Do you want to be even more helpless?”

“Yes, please,” she replied with a brisk nod.

That’s what she needed. That extra bit of support. That constant reminder that control wasn’t worth fighting for because she could never win it back, however hard she might try.

Another rope was laid across her skin, wrapping around the full length of her forearms until they were held tight behind her back, freeing her in mind almost more than restricting her in body. She wiggled her arms to no avail, barely managing to even lift them from her lower back.

“Thank you, Miss.”

“You’re welcome, baby,” Dana said, slowly rubbing her ass. “I like knowing you can’t get away from me.”

Her body trembled with a light giggle.

“So do I.”

Moving around behind her, Dana gathered what must’ve been the supplies needed for the first part of the scene, setting a few things on the bedside table and then climbing up onto the bed to sit between her legs. Her ass got another deceivingly gentle rub; her breathing slowed as a combination of the ropes and her domme’s demeanour did their job.

“How are you feeling now?” Dana asked.

She didn’t need to think about her answer. “Relaxed. Safe.”

“And I want you to keep feeling safe, honey. But relaxed? I don’t know. We’ll see how relaxed you feel with a plug in your ass.”

Her giggle was louder then, bolstered by the compliment. She closed her eyes and wiggled her ass.

“Do it then, Miss.”

The mattress shifted, plastic crinkled, and before too long, a drizzle of cold lube landed between her ass cheeks. Dana chuckled when she flinched, but the noise soon faded into a groan as she spread her knees further apart and dropped her back into as deep an arch as she could manage, presenting herself to be played with.

The redhead’s voice didn’t fully recover from that groan, and she relished the deeper edge to it as she heard, “I was going to be nice by letting you start with one of the plugs you’ve already tried. But you want to be filled, don’t you?”

“Yes, please,” she confessed, whispering once again.

“That’s my girl. I’ll open you up with the one you’ve already used, then I’ll swap.”

More than a little giddy from the possessive praise, she let out a long, airy moan whilst the first of the plugs began pushing inside her. It was slick with lube and cautious with Dana’s care, but neither one of those factors made it any smaller, and though each thrust was gentle, the relentlessness of it advancing further and further into her left her feeling utterly powerless.

Subspace had already clouded her mind enough for feeling powerless to seem like a very good thing indeed.

When she neared the plug’s greatest width, she pushed back against Dana’s hand, nudging the last section in almost by herself.

Dana laughed. “Feeling impatient, baby? Did you want me to just shove it into your ass?”

“Perhaps,” she retaliated.

“Hmm.”

However, after being given a minute or so to get used to the size of the plug, she wondered whether she might come to regret her moment of cockiness in the end. Dana carefully removed it and she had barely any time at all before the second, bigger plug was starting to take its place. Clearly inspired by her misplaced confidence, she was offered rather less patience this time around, and she could feel her ass stretching to accommodate the plug’s unforgiving size.

Back and forth, Dana pressed it deeper inside her on every thrust, leaving her to kneel there and take it. Her body gradually adjusted to the stretch, but each time that happened, she was forced to adjust even more. It felt like there was no end in sight. The world around her faded to nothing beyond her domme’s steady breaths, the ropes holding her in, and the plug that seemed as if it might leave her ass forever changed.

It might’ve been nice to ponder how on Earth she ever ended up here. But she knew how; she had lived it. She’d willingly walked that path.

And even as it happened, even as Dana pushed her body to the very limit, absolutely no part of her wanted it to stop.

“All done, baby. You took that so well. How does it feel?”

Before she could answer with words, wetness dripped from her sex onto the sheets below. She didn’t think she’d ever felt more aroused in her life, and she was already diving far too deep into subspace to be even the slightest bit embarrassed about that fact. Unconsciously, her hips began to rock, searching for the angle at which she could get the most pleasure from the plug alone.

“Mmm,” she moaned, so overtaken by desire that even rubbing her sore nipples against the sheets felt wonderful. “More, please.”

Dana laughed again. “You know, you keep proving me right. You are a cute slut.”

“No, I’m your cute slut.”

Suddenly, weight came down over her back, lips claimed the skin behind her ear, a hand wrapped around the front of her throat, and two fingers thrust hard into her sex. She whimpered with pleasure and rubbed her ass against Dana’s crotch, feeling the plug inside her jolt at the sudden pressure put on its base. What mental faculties she had left disappeared temporarily, cut off by fingers squeezing either side of her throat.

“That’s right,” Dana growled, “you’re mine, and I can do whatever I want to you.”

“Yes, Miss!” she gasped once her throat was released.

Dana’s tongue swiped from the edge of her jaw to her temple, claiming her with a smear of saliva, and her hands balled up into fists as her desperation rose. The fingers inside her weren’t moving; they merely acted as another claim on her, another reminder that her body wasn’t her own. How she wished they would fuck her to the verge of passing out.

When it came out of her mouth, her plea sounded more pathetic than she’d intended it to, but perhaps that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Please, Miss,” she begged. “Please fuck me.”

As sudden and disorienting as the last change, Dana turned sweet once more. The hand let go of her throat, the fingers slipped out of her, and when she whined disapprovingly, her protest was met with a soft, “Shhh.”

“Do you remember what the next step was, baby? Do you still want to be flogged?”

“Yes, please.”

“Good girl. Well done for staying polite.”

Basking in the praise, she stayed there happily whilst Dana got off her and grabbed the items needed next. Somewhere along the way, it seemed the redhead had picked up a few tricks for making her behave. The bullet vibe was slipped into her without commotion, and as it rumbled to life, her groan went completely ignored. Her ass was too much of a distraction; at least, it felt like that from the way Dana firmly rubbed her with one hand whilst dragging the tails of the flogger across her skin with the other.

Without the sensitivity of being flogged, the sensation was actually rather pleasant. The tails were heavy enough not to tickle, but light enough to pass easily over her, moving almost fluidly as they trailed across her ass. Between that, the light vibrations buzzing through her core, and the plug occupying her ass, she felt overwhelmed in the most gentle way imaginable.

“I’m only doing twenty so I don’t tire you out for the rest of the scene. Are you going to count them for me?”

“Yes, Miss,” she moaned, clenching herself around the vibrator.

The first few strikes were tentative, clearly used as a chance to gauge her reaction, and so she responded as enthusiastically as she could. It wasn’t gently overwhelming anymore, but she didn’t want it to be. She wanted to feel the sharp sting of the flogger coming down on her tied-up body, the helpless squirming as the vibrations were turned up just a little too high to be comfortable, and the constant fullness of the plug in her ass, reminding her that she asked for this. Reminding her that she belonged here.

And, like always, Dana gave her everything that she wanted.

It was hard to believe she was only halfway through when, after a particularly rough strike, she cried out, “Ten!”

“Oh, baby,” her domme pretended to sympathise. “Is it too much?”

“Yes, Miss,” she whimpered.

“Do you want me to stop?”

She turned her head to press her face into the sheets, hiding as she admitted, “No, Miss.”

And with that, the flogging continued.

Her hips rocked, but it wasn’t so much deliberate as it was the outcome of her whole body writhing, pressing the vibrator up against her front wall and making her gasp for air between counts as she gave in to the all-consuming wave that loomed over her. The rope harness pressed shallow lines into her chest on each in-breath. She wanted to relax; she couldn’t. She wanted a break; she refused to give herself one. Instead, she clenched her fists and used whatever brain power she had left to think about what she’d be reduced to by the time Dana was finished with her. An utter mess, most likely.

On the last strike, the flogger’s tails cracked down across her ass, pushing a surprised cry from her lungs. Before she could follow it up with the required count, the shock triggered her climax.

Her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed down to the bed, unconsciously humping the mattress with every wave of her orgasm and grinding herself against the vibrator. The plug shifted as she changed position, and she could feel its girth pressing down on the walls of her sex, tightening her around the vibrator and leaving her even more sensitive in the height of her pleasure.

“Fuck,” she said when Dana pulled the vibrator out of her.

“Need a minute?”

Her cheek brushed across the sheets as she nodded slowly.

Gentle hands stroked the backs of her calves and up to her thighs, sensibly avoiding her ass and skipping straight to rubbing her upper arms whilst she caught her breath. Although the ropes had felt as constricting as intended, in her post-climactic calm, they now felt reassuring once more. Like a firm, unyielding embrace or a snugly wrapped blanket.

“Let me know when you’re ready for more.”

She replied with a quiet, “Yes, Miss,” and murmured happily when Dana lay down beside her, pulling her into a cuddle. Her head rested against the front of the redhead’s shoulder and a content expression lifted her features. One hand cradled the side of her face; the other reached around her back to take hold of her own hand, squeezing it fondly without ever moving to untie her. Her muscles occasionally jerked and her limbs were still shaky, but she found a passing tranquillity in her domme’s arms, and she savoured it even more for the fact that it was so very fleeting. A brief, still moment amidst an otherwise raging storm.

A few minutes later, she signed up for another onslaught. “Ready, Miss.”

“Thank you for telling me, baby.” Dana stroked a thumb across her cheek. “You’re being such a good girl today.”

“Thank you, Miss.”

“Do you remember what’s coming? Or do you want me to remind you?”

She thought, or rather, she tried to think.

“No, Miss, I don't remember.”

“Aww,” Dana said, her tone slipping from sweet to condescending. “Such a good slut. You don’t know what’s going on and you still want to be fucked.”

Giggling nervously at the harsh praise, she tucked herself into the crook of Dana’s neck and waited for a reminder of what was going to happen.

“First, I need to untie your arms.” A finger poked into one side of the gap where her forearms met within the rope bind, wiggling as if to demonstrate how well restrained she was. “Then, you’ll get down on your knees, and I’ll tie the wand vibrator to your thigh. I haven’t decided if I’m going to let you come. It might be more fun to fuck your face when I can see how desperate you are.”

As much as she appreciated her safety being paramount, she couldn’t help feeling disappointed at the thought of being untied. It made sense, and she knew Dana wouldn’t feel comfortable without giving her some way or other to tap out, but her disappointment persisted.

Helpless. Powerless. That’s how she wanted to feel.

“Please, Miss,” she said anyway, knowing her domme was right. “I’m ready.”

Dana stroked her temple and gave her a pleased murmur before reaching down and fiddling with the rope around her arms, staying quiet all the way until she was freed.

But as the rope fell, slinking from her back onto the bed beside her, she was told - no, ordered - to, “Get on your knees.”

Entirely unashamed of her enthusiasm, she scrabbled towards the edge of the bed and practically fell to the floor. A gasp broke from her lips as the plug lurched inside her. The carpet did little to cushion her knees from her eager, thudding drop, but she didn’t care in the slightest. That was a problem for later, and even then, it wouldn’t be her problem; at the first inkling she might be sore, she knew Dana would take care of her.

The redhead got up in a far more sedate manner, circling her slowly to grab the wand vibrator from the box of supplies, staring down at her all the while. She felt like prey as she knelt there, and she did her best to spur that feeling on. Her arms retook their position behind her back, restraining herself if she could have nothing more, and as Dana came to stand beside her, she saw her domme’s gaze drop to the clenched grip her hands were taking on her opposite forearms.

“Spread your legs.”

She shuffled her knees apart, obediently spreading her thighs, and though she tried her best to stay balanced, she was grateful for the hand that came down on her shoulder, keeping her from having to use her own arms.

Her arousal was thick in the air and she could nearly taste it as she looked down at herself, feeling more wetness collect at her entrance with every clench of her ass around the plug. Her chest didn’t heave quite so desperately as it had whilst being flogged, but she could still see how the ropes caged her breasts, somehow both soft and yet rough in their treatment of her. Rather like her domme.

Wordlessly, Dana bent down to plug the vibrator in at the wall, then knelt beside her, aligning it with the inside of her right thigh and pressing it up against her clit. The rope was unfurled from her and she did nothing but watch as it wrapped around the vibrator - a spectator to her own, erotic demise.

“Oh!” she cried, shocked at how suddenly Dana flicked the vibrator on.

“Baby.” She looked up immediately, tipping her head back as Dana stood up in front of her and slipped a finger through the d-ring on her collar. “I know you want to move. But you’re going to stay nice and still for me, aren’t you? You’re going to be a good girl and ignore how badly you want to grind against my toy.”

Her core tensed so hard that she began to tremble; her teeth found purchase on her bottom lip, desperately worrying her flesh whilst she stared up into her domme’s eyes and nodded, trying her hardest to ignore how the vibrator pulsed aggressively against her clit. Her pure need must’ve been clear to see.

“You’re perfect,” Dana whispered, looking down at her with what she would’ve called adoration in any other scenario. “I love you, honey.”

“I lo-” she paused before her words dissolved into a whimper, steeling herself for another attempt. “I love you, Miss.”

For a brief moment, it was as if absolutely everything faded away. She couldn’t feel the ropes, the vibrator, nor her own grip on her forearms. She wasn’t desperate; she wasn’t aroused; she wasn’t anything. All that truly mattered was the lovingly possessive smile on her domme’s face.

“My good girl.”

That simple statement was the fuel for her resolve whilst she knelt there, as still as her body would allow her to be, watching Dana strip before her. There was no fanfare to the act; it wasn’t meant for her pleasure. It was frankly utilitarian. But that unwillingness to draw it out let Stella in on a secret - the impatience for more wasn’t lost on either of them.

Once undressed, Dana perched on the side of the bed, beckoning her closer with a curled finger. She only needed to move a step forward, but shuffling on her knees made the process take longer than she’d expected. With every shift of her body, the vibrator bumped more firmly against her clit, and there was still nothing that she was allowed to do about it. She simply had to let it happen, save only for the determined grimace on her face.

She leant onto Dana’s thigh as soon as she got close enough, rolling her head slowly from the side until her forehead was pressed into the redhead’s flesh. Air filtered through in deep, controlled breaths. However, she knew that real calm wouldn’t be in her reach for a long while yet.

“You’re only allowed to hump the toy while I’m fucking your mouth. Any breaks - you have to stop. Understand?”

“Yes, Miss,” she groaned, relief close at hand.

Strong, confident hands brushed her hair back into a loose ponytail, using it to direct her head until her face was angled towards Dana’s sex. Vibrations travelled through her clit and she was so painfully near to easing them, but whatever she might’ve wanted, relief only came at Dana’s hand, and she was reminded of just how subservient she was when Dana held her there, inches from solace, for as long as they could both bear.

With a sudden force, she was pulled in, arousal coating her waiting lips and tongue as she moaned happily and thrust her hips forward. The vibrations were pleasurable now that she could move with them, needily rocking herself against the vibrator and channelling all of that pleasure into eagerly pleasing her domme, feeling the gentle shift of the plug in her ass with every forward motion. Dana tasted heavenly at the best of times. But this? After being teased and made to wait? This was even better. Her eyes must’ve closed at some point, she didn’t know when, and she didn’t need the hands that pressed flat against her scalp to keep her tongue deep in Dana’s sex. They stayed there regardless, holding her in and giving her a sense of grounding whilst her own emotions were giving her anything but.

Although, as she quickly realised, it seemed the vibrations weren’t overwhelming enough. Despite torturing her earlier and pleasuring her now, they couldn’t quite go the distance. Couldn’t quite give her what she so adamantly needed. Thrusting harder couldn’t make up the difference. Grinding slower couldn’t push her over the edge. It all just kept her there - dangling, almost.

She had to wonder whether it was deliberate, whether Dana could read her body so well by this point as to know exactly where the line could be drawn. Exactly how much pleasure to give her without also allowing her release.

With her body tied, her hips rocking, her ass plugged, and her face being fucked, she imagined that Dana could very well read her like that.

And, if she needed further evidence, she could look to how predictable her own reaction was. She groaned at the forced edging, but never once did her tongue relent. Ignorant to her own body’s desires, she remained obedient to a fault. Lapping at Dana’s clit, slipping down to her entrance, thrusting, curling, Stella was willing to the end.

A stifled gasp was her sole reward. Or perhaps instead, it’s the only sound she took any notice of. She was far too occupied by the surge of wetness that flooded her mouth, running down her throat much like the drop that slid from the corner of her lips. If she wasn’t allowed her own pleasure, then she could at least share in the pleasure that she gave to her domme.

Though she hadn’t needed a break, she assumed the initial rule was still in place, and she swallowed an unhappy groan as her hips stilled when Dana pulled her back by her hair. She hadn’t been able to come, but fighting the vibrations was still more difficult than giving into them.

“Good,” Dana sighed, watching her with a sated half-smile. “You remembered.”

“Please let me come, Miss,” she begged without hesitation.

“Stay.”

Her confused, annoyed whine got her a laugh. Otherwise, she was left ignored. The redhead stood up and stepped around her, heading for the chest of drawers, before turning back with a palm vibrator in one hand and a harness in the other, a moderately sized dildo hanging from its front.

It wasn’t part of the plan, and they’d never tried it before, but a thought occurred to Stella as she knelt there. She wanted to come, and she wanted to come like this, humping the wand vibrator between her thighs, but Dana’s rule meant that she could only do that if her mouth was being fucked.

Nowhere had it been mentioned exactly what would be fucking her mouth.

To ask for what she wanted, however, was another matter. Whilst she knew that the redhead wouldn’t judge her, a part of her was judging herself. To want this meant being honest - there was no physical pleasure to blame, unless she lied. She could pretend that the inspirational spark was all she lusted after, that this was a means to an end, an excuse to keep grinding against the vibrator. But as soon as the idea had come to her, she’d known it was more than that. She didn’t just want the physical pleasure that she was only allowed to have whilst being fucked, she wanted the psychological pleasure. She wanted the submissive pleasure of...

She wasn’t sure that she could admit the truth, even to herself.

Dana cleared her throat. She flinched, brought back by the noise, and saw that the harness was now snug around Dana’s hips.

“You’re distracted, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

How was she meant to say it? How was she meant to admit that she... Well, that she wanted to have her face fucked by a strap? No, it wasn’t just that. To act as if it was something being done to her was an omission in itself. She didn’t want to spectate any longer; she wanted to act. She wanted to hump the teasing vibrator between her thighs and she wanted to suck her domme’s cock until she couldn’t breathe beyond the release of a loud, shuddered moan as she came.

It was a bit ridiculous, really. So much trust developed, so much confidence gained, and yet one little moment of embarrassment was enough to send her hurtling back towards square one. Maybe it was just the way she was wired. Maybe some things were harder to ask for than others.

Walking back over, Dana returned to the edge of the bed, setting aside the palm vibrator and sitting down right where Stella wanted her. It didn’t make things any easier. Dana’s hands reached out as she bent forwards, one grasping the collar and the other toying with the control wheel on the vibrator. Meanwhile, Stella clutched at her own forearms and tried to look anywhere other than at the strap directly in her eyeline, worried that even a glance would clue Dana in on what she was still too nervous to admit.

But, try as she might, longing got the better of her. Her focus landed on the toy and, in the very next moment, Dana turned up the vibrator, causing her to release a feeble whimper whilst she fought herself to look away. Her conscious mind pleaded with her, telling her to look absolutely anywhere else, but her unconscious - or whatever part held sway over her desire - was simply too powerful.

She stared, bewitched, until Dana let go of the vibrator and lifted her chin.

“You need to ask for what you want. I won’t do it for you.”

Her legs shook from the raw power she was holding back, exerting control to the greatest extent that she could. If the vibrations had been torture before, they were agonising now, rumbling through her sex and testing her limits. But at least she still had a say in the workings of her body; despite her shaking, she could keep her thighs from thrusting and her hips from rocking. The full extent of her mind, on the other hand, was rather more difficult to rein in.

After taking a deep breath, she let the words fall from her mouth in a hurried, frantic tone. “I want to suck your...”

Her gaze flicked between the strap and Dana’s face, hoping that what she’d said would be enough.

Frustratingly, all it got her was a wicked smirk.

“That wasn’t a question. Try again.”

Her nails were biting grooves into her forearms.

“Please may I,” she said before hesitating, taking what confidence she could from Dana’s grip tightening on the collar, feeling it press into her throat. Her heart raced and her vision tunnelled, narrowing down until she could see nothing but her domme’s eyes. “Please may I suck your cock, Miss?”

“Yes, you fucking can.”

Dana’s aggressive enthusiasm pulled the slightest snatch of a laugh up from her chest, as much a gasp of relief as it was anything else. If Dana wanted this, then she was safe to want it too.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Letting go of her, Dana tucked a stray blonde lock behind her ear and leant back on the bed, presenting her with the strap. She wasn’t entirely sure how to begin; it had been more than a few years since the last time she did this, and she’d never done it with a dildo before. No, they’d all been real - if mediocre - dicks in the past, and mostly attached to dicks as well. Enough teenage experiences of a sudden hand on the back of her head, pushing her closer without warning, had left a bad taste in her mouth that was fouler than simply ‘unwashed’.

And so, with the utmost confidence that Dana would never dream of doing something like that, she leant forward.

Poking her tongue out, she looked up into the redhead’s eyes as she took her first, tentative lick. It tasted like silicone, not that she should’ve expected any different, but the powerful gleam that appeared in Dana’s eyes was a far sight more delicious. Excited to watch that gleam grow, she took another lick, swiping her tongue up the lower side of the dildo.

As she got into a rhythm, her hips started moving again, rocking in time with the nodding of her head as she worked her tongue over the dildo, coating it with her own saliva. Dana was seemingly giving her the freedom to simply explore this new experience for now, and though she enjoyed the opportunity to do as she pleased, she soon craved direction.

“Miss,” she said after flicking her tongue off the head of the toy, “please fuck me.”

“Put your hands on my thighs.”

“Bu-”

“I wasn’t asking.”

She pouted furiously, but moved her arms at the same time, reaching up to place both hands on Dana’s thighs.

“Good girl,” Dana praised, bending down to turn the vibrator up even higher - now well able to trigger her climax if only she was allowed to grind against it. “I know you could’ve moved your arms if you needed to. But we’ve never done this before, and I don’t want you panicking and forgetting how to tap out. With your hands already on me, it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Although she said it with a huff, her, “Thank you, Miss,” was really quite sincere. Dana looking out for her wellbeing always made her feel warm and fuzzy in a manner other than pure arousal. She felt cared for, even as she knelt there with a vibrator between her thighs and a dildo in front of her face.

“I’m just going to hold your hair until I know you’re comfortable, then if you still want more, you can ask for it.”

She nodded, gripping Dana’s thighs with both hands, and sighed happily as fingers stroked through her hair to pull it back up into a ponytail.

Parting her lips, she took the head of the dildo into her mouth, conscious of how it pressed down on her tongue as she got used to the feeling. The slick coating of her saliva helped it to slip deeper, and she played with the first couple of inches, bobbing up and down until she got her bearings. Dana’s fingers tickled the base of her scalp whenever she lifted her head, reminding her of her audience.

She moved her hips again once the initial novelty wore off, following the same rhythm such that the vibrations were strongest whilst the strap was at its deepest. But every time she took it into her mouth, she found herself wanting more.

Dana smiled down at her as she raised her head, fondly playing with her hair whilst she caught her breath.

“Can I have more, please?” she asked, her confidence blooming from the sheer submission of the act. “Please, Miss. I want you to fuck me.”

“Okay, baby. But if we’re doing this, I want you to come with my dick in your mouth.”

Her hips lurched forwards before she could stop them, reacting to her domme’s command.

“Yes, please,” she said eagerly, not that her enthusiasm needed to be made any clearer.

Hands pressed her head back down towards the dildo, and she opened her mouth willingly, letting Dana push her further and groaning happily from the loss of all control. Her thighs tensed as she humped the vibrator, feeling how easily it moved against her thanks to her own wetness. She knew that, after the build up she’d been put through, her orgasm was sure to leave her a loud, trembling wreck.

Between reprieves to get her breath back, she could sense Dana’s enjoyment from how the pressure on her scalp slowly increased. At first, the dildo landed just far enough to sit on her tongue, but as time went on, Dana fucked her mouth deeper and deeper until the tip was nudging into her throat. More droplets of saliva spilled down the strap’s length and a tear fell from the corner of her eye when the tip mildly triggered her gag reflex. But before her domme’s confidence could waver, she used her own, whimpering performatively - muffled as it was - and clutching at the flesh beneath her hands whilst speeding up with her hips, demonstrating her satisfaction in every way that she could.

“Mmm,” she heard from above. “Take it. That’s my good girl.”

Perhaps she would’ve come right then anyway. Perhaps the pleased, commanding sound of Dana’s voice had nothing to do with it. But she didn’t think so, especially not when that sound was the sole thing on her mind as she tipped over the edge and buried her face in Dana’s lap. The dildo was thick and heavy in her mouth, the vibrator was unrelenting against her clit, and the garbled noises of her own satisfaction were ringing in her ears.

It was paradise, if only paradise could ever be so sinful.

As soon as she raised her head, Dana leaned down to turn the vibrator off before wiping her face, cleaning up the stray tears and saliva that her antics had left behind. Her body was exhausted from her lengthy ordeal with the vibrator and her core muscles felt like they were about to give in, leaving her in a heap on the floor.

However, as she probably could’ve expected, Dana didn’t let that happen. Once the vibrator was untied from her and set aside, hands slipped under her arms and hauled her upwards, helping her to straddle Dana’s lap. She sank down on aching knees and collapsed forwards into a hug. Despite the ropes still knotted around her chest and hips, she took comfort from the press of her domme’s warm, naked body against her own. The strap nestled firmly between her thighs and the unforgiving plug settled in her ass, but in her post-climactic haze, all she really cared about was Dana’s touch. The rest was secondary.

She used what strength she had to wrap her arms around Dana’s neck, cuddling in closer.

“I want to fuck you right here.”

That’s all the warning she got before Dana grabbed her hips and lifted her over the strap. Between the saliva on the dildo and the wetness collecting at her entrance, it slipped inside her with ease, and as she sank down once more, it filled her perfectly. The plug in her ass made for a tighter fit than usual, but she was so relaxed from everything she’d already been through that her body didn’t struggle to accommodate both toys. The plug moved, jostling for ever decreasing space inside her, and she let out a quiet moan as she nuzzled against the side of Dana’s face.

“How does it feel, baby?”

“Tight,” she said, barely more than a whisper. “I like it, Miss.”

“Good,” Dana murmured. “Let’s get you used to this one, and then we can find out how tight you feel when I swap to a bigger toy.”

Her giggle then was nervous, but she was more nervously excited than she was actually concerned. “I don’t know if anything bigger will fit.”

“I’ll make it fit.”

The resolute ownership would’ve made her blush if her cheeks weren’t rosy to begin with, long since coloured by a mixture of arousal and exertion.

Marking a distinct change from earlier, there was nothing urgent or frantic about the way that Dana fucked her now. The hands on her hips kept her steady, holding her down so that the strap stayed deep inside and moving her only enough to grind against Dana’s pelvis. She knew this was preparation for the next step, but she enjoyed it nonetheless, and she sighed with pleasure when one hand snuck around to toy with the base of the plug, moving it back and forth in her ass to stretch her even more. There was still enough lube on the plug to keep the feeling pleasant, and she found a particular eroticism in the dichotomy of the act.

Here she was, in her lover’s arms, touching and feeling and loving with every breath.

Here she was, in her domme’s ropes, collared and filled and played with to her heart’s content.

She gladly let Dana control her body, and when the time apparently came for more, she sat patiently whilst the palm vibrator was placed between them, positioned against her clit and held there by her body weight whilst the strap stayed sheathed inside her. The vibrations would be too much for her oversensitive sex and she knew it, but she also knew that it was out of her hands. And that’s how she wanted it to be.

Predictably, she was right. The vibrator turned on and she squirmed at the very first sensation, unconsciously scrunching her nose against Dana’s temple as she fought with herself not to move away.

What she hadn’t predicted, however, was that hers wouldn’t be the only reaction.

Dana’s sudden moan sounded almost as surprised as she was upon hearing it. Seemingly, the vibrations that so overwhelmed her were strong enough to be felt through the harness. She shimmied her hips in spite of herself, swallowing down the desperate over-stimulation caused by pressing herself against the vibrator, and began grinding slowly, working to pleasure Dana rather than herself. She couldn’t stop her whiny breaths and oversensitive squirms, but she could do her best to ignore them whilst pleasing her domme.

Her arms were pulled down from Dana’s neck, wrists held behind her back as they both picked up the pace. She bit her bottom lip as if that slight pain might’ve honestly been able to distract her, and tried to focus her thoughts on every faint sound that she heard from Dana, each one giving her another reason to see this exhausting act through. Being restrained helped to a degree, reminding her of her place in their dynamic, but more than that, the desperate grip of the redhead’s hands on her wrists told her just how good a job she was doing. Signs of pleasure were their own reward.

Despite her body being far too highly strung to allow her another climax yet, she could feel how close Dana was getting. Pitchy moans, heaving breaths, bruising fingers - they all pushed her to keep going.

“Baby,” Dana groaned, clearly on the verge.

Her voice was shaky as she spoke, but she assumed that would only add to Dana’s enjoyment. “Please, Miss. Please come.”

It was a plea, not a command. It was desperate and needy and the furthest thing from assertive. It was the polar opposite of just about everything she ever said outside of the safe, sheltering walls of their home.

To anyone but her domme, it sounded nothing like her at all.

Dana, however, welcomed her desperation with an even tighter grip on her wrists and relished her neediness with a sharp thrust, pressing her entrance to the very base of the strap. Rather than obeying a command, Dana rewarded her plea. A shuddered groan was heaven to her ears and sudden, jerky tremors travelled from one body straight through the other. The feeling of Dana coming against her was almost good enough to make her forget about the vibrator.

As soon as it was over, thankfully, she didn’t have to think much more about that last part. Dana pulled the toy out from between them and switched it off before chucking it to one side, then let go of her wrists to wrap her up in a constricting, near-breathtaking hug.

“Mine,” Dana muttered, nuzzling against the side of her throat. “My good girl.”

Those few, precious words could melt her all the way down to a mere puddle even when she wasn’t deep in subspace. But now? Now, they sapped all true thought and reason from her mind. Now, as she sat there, they rid her of everything but desire. Now, held, filled, plugged, they reminded her of what made this so special.

It was hard to tell how long Dana kept her there. It was hard to care, really. She stayed where she was until told otherwise and she followed every instruction to the letter, obedient to a fault.

With more than a little guidance, and a certain amount of physical help, she was made to sit up against the headboard and sip from a bottle of water whilst Dana sorted out what they would need next. She could feel the wetness ever present between her thighs and the change in position made it impossible for her to ignore the plug, but unlike the way her brain usually worked, feelings didn’t turn into anything more conscious. Subspace was too all-encompassing to allow for that; proper thinking was best left to her domme.

“Ready for more?” Dana asked, coming to sit beside her.

She nodded as she swallowed her last sip, before passing the bottle over to be...

She’d practically forgotten about it by the time it left her hand.

Dana gently pulled her down by her waist, and once she was on her back, hands got to work on the loose ropes around her hips. After wrapping more loops down her thighs, Dana tied off the excess ropes on either leg and brought them up to her chest, lacing them through either side of the ropes tied across her breasts. Tightening them pulled her thighs up towards her chest, exposing her to her domme, and when Dana let go after securing them with knots on both sides, it left the weight of her legs pulling on the chest harness and moving the ropes against her sore nipples.

Wincing slightly, she looked up into Dana’s eyes.

“Does that hurt, baby?”

She nodded again.

“Do you want me to make it stop?”

She shook her head.

“If you don’t feel like talking,” Dana said, reaching for something beside her. “Maybe now’s the time to try this.”

Lifting it up in front of her face, the bit gag she’d bought a few weeks ago dangled from Dana’s fingers.

Yet again, she simply nodded.

“Here you go, baby.”

Dana took hold of her jaw, gently opening her mouth, and pushed the bit between her teeth before carefully lifting her head and buckling the leather strap closed. The black silicone tasted of nothing and the bar was just narrow enough to not feel uncomfortable, though that might also have been because of quite how relaxed she was. No part of her was tense, jaw included.

“Can you shake your head for me?”

A mess of blonde curls rustled beneath her. Smiling all the while, Dana leant back down over her to kiss her forehead.

“Good girl. I’m going to keep watching you the whole time you’re wearing that, okay? If you want me to stop, you can tap me like normal, or you can shake your head. I’ll stop either way.”

One last nod was all that was needed from her for Dana to carry on, affectionately patting her cheek before moving to sit just below her on the bed. Tied there with her knees pulled up to her chest, she didn’t exactly have the best vantage point, but she didn’t need to see. And she’d forgotten most of the plan she was told earlier, lost to wherever the rest of her usually sharp mind had disappeared off to, but she didn’t need to remember. Whatever was about to happen would probably be intense; she knew that much. Whatever was about to happen, Dana would take care of her; she knew that for certain.

As she lay there, mindlessly flicking her tongue across the back of the bit, that was all she really needed to know.

There was a plasticky sound that she couldn’t quite place. Then, wet fingers began to tease at her asshole, smearing lube as they went. Either side of her, her own fingers toyed with the bedsheet, helping her to ease the restlessness of anticipation once she finally worked out what would be coming next. She whimpered her way through the slow stretch, feeling emptier and emptier as Dana pulled the plug from her ass.

“So good for me,” Dana cooed, her tone addictively sweet. “Just stay like that, baby. Nice and relaxed.”

After another pause, she felt as Dana pressed the biggest plug against her and began to pulse it in and out. Despite being thoroughly coated in lube, the size remained imposing. By the time she stretched to what had been the widest point of the last, smaller plug, she felt strangely exhausted, as though purely the act of taking something so big was tiring in itself. Fighting to stay relaxed, she could feel it slipping even deeper and she didn’t know how she was going to cope.

“That’s it, honey.”

She moaned in relief, screwing her eyes shut.

“Oh, you need me to talk you through it?”

Clutching at the sheets, she nodded furiously.

“Nearly there, baby. You’re taking it so well. You’re doing everything I tell you and listening so nicely. I bet it feels big, doesn’t it? But you can take it. I promise. You’re my perfect... My perfect little slut. You’re going to be so tight around my strap when I fuck you. You’ll like that, won’t you? You want to be wrapped around my cock, filled in both holes, all tied up, with those big blue eyes looking up at me while I stretch you over and over again.”

Each word sounded more breathless than the last and she could feel wetness dripping from her entrance as she drank in Dana’s growing excitement.

“You’re almost done, my good girl. Bite down for me.”

The moment she clenched her jaw, gripping the bit between her teeth, Dana slid the plug all of the way in. As overwhelming as it was, the sensation stayed just this side of intense pleasure versus uncomfortable pain. Nonetheless, she gave a muffled cry. Her fingers yanked at the sheets below and her nipples burned between ropes when her thighs trembled. The widest point was through, but she could still feel it there, sitting inside her, filling her, leaving her even tighter for the next step.

“Open your eyes.”

She followed the command quickly enough to watch her domme rebuckling the harness that now held a much bigger toy than before. A toy so big that it was almost...

Well, a little scary? Intimidating, at the very least.

“Oh, baby,” Dana whispered, catching the look in her eyes and immediately bending down over her. A palm cupped her jaw and fingers stroked down her temple. “So pretty. And all mine. You’ll still be mine whether or not I fuck you again. You know that. You know I’ll take all of this off and look after you, if that’s what you really need. And you know I’ll keep going if that’s what you want. I’ll be slow and gentle and treat you like the precious little slut you are.”

Her gaze flicked back and forth between Dana’s eyes, tears pooling in the corners of her own as she soaked up the filthy, caring, possessive affection. Their faces were only inches apart and even if she’d had the strength to lift herself up, she wouldn’t have been able to kiss Dana anyway.

The redhead must’ve seen that desire as easily as the rest.

Dana closed the distance between them to place a delicate kiss on her cupid’s bow before lifting away and looking at her again. “What’s it gonna be, baby? Do you want me to keep going?”

She felt as confident in her choice as she did in the knowledge that she had a choice at all. If anything, the latter strengthened the former.

Were she to say no - or shake her head, in fact - then Dana would take off the harness, the gag, and the ropes without a single complaint. Arms would hold her and words would soothe her and Dana would ask nothing more of her than whether she wanted the plug out now or later. The duvet would probably get tucked in around her shoulders and kisses just as delicate as the one against her cupid’s bow would fall upon the crown of her hair when she nuzzled into the safest place on Earth. The crook of Dana’s neck would be warm and comforting, and the fingertips drifting across the back of her head would be featherlight, whilst the arm around her waist would remain firm and steady, keeping her right where she belonged.

Were she to say yes with a nod, however, Dana would be just as sweet in a rather more sinful way.

As her domme so fondly watched her, she nodded.

“Okay,” Dana said, still stroking her face.

Dana gently took hold of her hands and raised her arms up above her head, one palm holding her there to pin her wrists at the top of the pillow. The weight of the toy rested against her stomach as Dana moved and the ropes around her chest confined a pounding heartbeat and frantic breaths.

“Shake your head again for me.”

She didn’t think; she just obeyed.

“Good girl. I’ll stop if I’m concerned anyway, but otherwise, all you need to do to get me to stop is shake your head. Just like that. Or you can tap me; I won’t hold you tight.”

She nodded, preening as her domme smiled down at her.

“My little overachiever.”

Kneeling in the cradle of her rope-splayed thighs, Dana leant on one elbow planted above her head whilst reaching down between her legs. The toy slid from her stomach, the tip dragging across her skin, and she flinched, wide-eyed, as it bumped her aching clit.

“I’ll start slow, honey,” Dana promised, panting slightly. “Don’t want to ruin your pussy before I make you take the whole thing.”

She’d wanted to watch. She really had. She’d wanted to obey. She truly had. Dana hadn’t said anything about being allowed to close her eyes again, and besides, it wasn’t everyday that she could look down her own body, past the ropes and the thin sheen of sweat, to watch the largest dildo they owned gradually disappearing at the apex of her thighs. It probably would’ve seemed like some kind of illusion.

The only magic part of all of it, however, was the rush she felt when Dana practically stretched her open. The rush that sent her toes curling and her head tipping back, closing eyes rolling as she moaned around the gag between her lips. It was the exact opposite of a disappearing act. Every single inch made its presence known, pushing up against her tight walls and jockeying for space inside her, fighting with the plug still firmly present in her ass.

She felt. That’s all.

Not even a single word could be pulled from the jumble of pure feelings that made up her thoughts, or the closest thing that she had to thoughts anyway.

The heat of Dana’s body came blissfully closer with each buried length of the strap and the combination of taut ropes and weight across her wrists grounded her like nothing else could. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t come up with words to describe any of it; the gag would’ve stopped them from forming. All that did matter was feeling every painfully perfect moment, one after another. Ripples of pleasure triggered squeezing muscles, tightening around both the strap and the plug, whilst nonsensical sounds fell muffled from her parted lips.

“Ahhhh,” she sighed as Dana’s body finally met flush with her own.

Warm flesh brushed the very tips of her sore nipples as her back arched.

“My sweet little slut.”

A barely conscious yet entirely eager nod earned a laugh.

“Think you can take more, baby? Just a little more, I promise. For me?”

She at least vaguely understood what was being asked of her, which was about as good as it was going to get. The time for real thinking could wait until she was back to her usual self again. For now, thinking was Dana’s problem. Either way, she trusted Dana to stop if things went too far.

What she’d gathered was that agreeing would mean more of whatever these good feelings were, and disagreeing might stop them.

The answer was simple then. Wasn’t it?

“Slow down,” Dana chuckled. “You’re gonna hurt yourself if you nod any harder than that.”

Arching above her, she felt cool air spill between their parted bodies as her domme made space between them. Had she not been tied up and pinned down to the bed, she might’ve been inclined to follow, to chase Dana upwards and wrap her limbs around the woman, to sacrifice not even a square inch of the contact she craved. But for whatever reason, she wasn’t allowed to, and she’d been fucked so far out of her usually curious mind that she honestly didn’t care to know why.

“Ughhh,” she groaned out from behind the gag as a pulsing sensation surrounded her clit.

“That’s my good girl.”

Dana pressed the vibrator down against her and turned it up a few levels, jumping from a barely-there pulse to a confident throb. Her body ached from everything that had been done to her, shaking within her roped confines from both exhaustion and pleasure, whilst the steady warmth in her gut began ticking over again. The overwhelming scene had done something akin to hypnosis; by this point, her domme probably could’ve just told her to come and she would have. Swollen flesh and rope-rubbed, flogged skin was there to be used and fucked and toyed with however Dana thought best.

Wet, filthy sounds marked out the slow but purposeful rhythm of the strap, forcing her to take it all on every stroke. There was no escape from the relentless fucking. There was no escape from her patient domme.

“Mmm,” Dana hummed, “your pussy’s stopped fighting me now. Maybe I’ll make it take my fist sometime soon.”

That sounded nice to her, in her pleasure-addled, submissive haze. Having some part of Dana that far inside her was heaven to her ears.

And then the rhythm changed.

It didn’t change so much with a bang as with a slap - the sharp sound of Dana’s hips meeting her arousal-smeared skin. Driving the strap into her, Dana’s hand dropped from her wrists to her collar, fingers curling around to grab hold of the leather as the vibrator hit a new peak and her body welcomed the onslaught with a rush of wetness.

Although she’d wanted to reach out not so long ago, her arms stayed exactly where they’d been put. This wasn’t like the times where she’d played an active part. It wasn’t one of those scenes that warranted giving back what Dana gave her. No. Perhaps it had been different at the start, but now it was about lying there and being fucked to within an inch of her life by the woman she adored.

She could do that.

Truthfully, she couldn’t do anything else.

Rope pressed pink lines into her skin and tortured her nipples with every bounce of her back as Dana pounded her into the mattress. Silicone held firm against her teeth as she bit down on her gag. Yet more silicone kept her ass full to the point that she could still feel the stretch. Even more silicone spent more time deep inside her than it did out, ramming home on each thrust and leaving her achingly desperate in those brief moments of emptiness.

Against her clit, the vibrator pulled a sudden orgasm from her tired body. She cried out helplessly, groaning her way through a surge of pleasure that shook her already shaking muscles. Though it must’ve been obvious, Dana didn’t even hesitate. Every deep thrust was as certain as it had been and, if anything, the vibrator was held even tighter against her clit than before.

In another headspace, she might’ve fought the over-stimulation. Her clit nearly hurt as the climax receded and the jittery energy the whole thing gave her was uncomfortable at best. But her domme wanted this. And wanted to do it to her, specifically. She was a good girl. A good slut. She could take it. She could handle anything her domme wanted to throw at her. Nothing would be too much. Her domme wouldn’t allow that. So anything that did happen was just this side of manageable.

Leaning back down over her, Dana’s hand left the collar to press against the pillow beside her head.

“So fucking good. And all mine.”

Still barely recovered from the last one, her next orgasm left her a quivering mess. Well, more of a quivering mess than she was already. Her core squeezed tight and her overworked nerves tingled all the way down her limbs. The wet patch she hadn’t noticed forming under her ass suddenly became obvious as it spread further, practically a puddle beneath her, whilst more arousal dribbled down over the base of the plug to add to it. Her throat grew sore from a hoarse shout. When she fell silent, it left the phantom pressure of the strap she’d had down there earlier.

“Breathe, baby.”

Dana was suddenly beside her, smoothing her hair back. The strap was gone and it felt like the plug had been taken out too. The ropes, meanwhile, were as tight as ever. The press of knots against her chest was the only thing telling her that she was panting hard.

“Hmm?” she murmured, though she probably wouldn’t have made any more sense a few seconds later when Dana unbuckled the gag.

Fingers massaged either side of her jaw. “I said breathe, honey. I’ve got one more toy I want to use on you, but I’m not moving until you calm down.”

The command sounded like a sensible idea, and really, she would’ve done whatever Dana told her to anyway. Her chest slowed to a deliberate pace and she turned her head towards the sound of her domme’s voice, loving the feeling of a palm gently cupping her cheek.

“Good girl.” Dana bent down to kiss her forehead. “This one will feel different. That’s why I left it until the end.”

A short trip across the room left her being presented with a bowl on Dana’s return. She hadn’t seen it when she came in earlier. The box on the chest of drawers must’ve been too distracting. Once she saw it though, it certainly held her attention. Sat inside, nestled in ice water that was really more water than ice by now, was her glass dildo. She hadn’t used it in a while; it was just a little too big for something that hard. But apparently her domme disagreed. Or perhaps she’d been used well enough already that it wouldn’t be an issue. Either way, she wasn't a fan of the idea, and whilst she knew in her heart that she'd let Dana do it regardless, she couldn't help but frown.

“I thought you’d probably be sore by the time we got to this, and I’m not saying it’ll feel better,” Dana chuckled. “I know you’re gonna be sensitive. But it might help a bit.”

Pouting her way through the lingering tension in her jaw, she looked up at Dana and simply asked, “Seriously?”

“Look, baby, you’ve been so good today that I’ll let you get away with being a brat for now. I don’t really want to punish you after everything else I’ve put you through anyway. But this isn’t a democracy, and you’re literally tied up and helpless. So complain all you want. Unless I hear your safeword, I plan on ignoring the rest of your whining and fucking you until I decide to stop. You got that?”

The sudden shift in Dana’s attitude swept the pout straight off her face. Her eyes went wide and her aching clit throbbed. In an instant, she fell back into the woozy, obedient submission that she’d lost herself to before. That small spark of defiance vanished entirely.

“Yes, Miss,” was all she could say.

It earned her a slow, pleased smile.

“Nice to know there’s an off switch when you’re being a brat. I guess I just have to fuck you hard enough first, and then I can make you be my good girl.”

That woozy, obedient submission stopped her from even considering that it might’ve been rather pathetic to just repeat, “Yes, Miss.”

Still clearly amused, Dana climbed back onto the bed and settled below her with the bowl to one side. She couldn’t see much, and she hadn’t been told she was allowed to move, so she had to settle for the sight of red locks moving around until a flash of cold stole the air from her lungs.

“Shit.”

The dildo had only brushed the inside of her thigh and that was way too much already. Her legs drew up tighter against her chest, and when she tried to relax them, the tug of pressure on her nipples made her flinch yet again.

“Keep still,” Dana warned, “or I’ll drag this out for even longer.”

Nodding aimlessly up towards the ceiling, she turned her arms to clutch at the pillow her hands were resting on and tried her absolute best to let her domme use her.

“Uhh- Fuck!”

The freezing cold head pushed into her entrance, setting off a wave of excruciating pleasure that ran deeper and deeper into her core the further Dana thrust the toy. It couldn’t have been more than a couple of inches deep, but she could feel it everywhere. All those nerve endings that had been teased over and over throughout the scene came alive with such an intensity that she could hardly bear it. The only thing stopping her from giving up was Dana’s little pep talk - if it could be called a ‘pep talk’ - and she held the calming, controlling words in her mind like they were a lifeline.

Instead of her own thoughts, Dana’s voice was there in her head whilst the ice cold toy pushed her to her limits.

‘You’re helpless.’

‘You’re getting fucked until I decide to stop.’

‘I’ll make you be my good girl.’

“Ohhh, please,” she moaned when lips wrapped around her sore clit.

The heat of Dana’s mouth was the polar opposite to the chill of the glass. Every few strokes, it was slipped out and dunked in the ice water, only to slide back inside her and cool her sex down to near freezing. All the while, lips surrounded her and Dana’s tongue flicked over her sensitive flesh, each swipe more maddening than the last.

Ice water mixed with the arousal dripping from her entrance, running over her clenching asshole, and she tried desperately not to squirm. She’d been told to keep still. She damn well didn’t want to disappoint. No matter how much her body yearned to writhe against the damp sheets below, she wasn’t going to let it happen, not when her domme had commanded otherwise.

When she came for the final time, it felt as though her body knowingly gave up. Gave in. She’d given her domme everything and all that was left to do was sink into uncomfortably damp sheets. What that last climax swept her up in couldn’t have been described as pleasure. No. It was sweet, soothing relief. It was the promise of being put back together after a series of shattering breaks. It was the certainty that Dana would see her through to the other side.

Unable to think about anything deeper than what was right in front of her, she noticed the film of sweat covering her skin when Dana began fiddling with the rope harness. Slack thighs dropped towards the bed with each untied knot, and before long, she was free to be manhandled onto her side and into a cuddle. She didn’t think she could move and she didn’t bother to try. That wasn’t her job.

“My good girl,” Dana whispered, pulling one of her arms down from above her head to gently kiss her palm.

That felt good.

Summing up the monumental will to talk, she quietly asked, “More, please.”

Dana rubbed circles across her back, fingers skating over the faint lines where rope had met skin. “You don’t need to ask for praise, baby. I’ll always give it to you. But even so, I’m still proud that you were able to ask. You were so good today. You listened - mostly - and you did everything I told you to. It was a lot; I know that. And the only thing I’m going to ask you to do now is let me take care of my good girl. Can you do that, baby?”

Her forehead bumped against Dana’s shoulder as she nodded.

“Good. I’m going to sit up, and then you can sit on my lap. Does that sound okay?”

Thankful for how easy Dana was making it, she nodded again and let herself be helped upright. Sitting sideways in the slight gap between Dana’s thighs, she cuddled back in, relaxed as she waited for whatever would happen next.

Passively, she watched Dana grab a carton of apple juice that had apparently been on the bedside table, tear the straw from the carton, and insert the straw before handing it over to her.

“Drink it,” Dana told her.

So she drank it.

The carton crinkled in her hands as it emptied, and she buried herself deeper and deeper into the crook of Dana’s neck all the while. Strong arms stayed wrapped around her body and the rhythm of gentle breaths guided her own.

“I- I think I’m hungry?” she asked a while later, holding the empty carton out.

The truth was that she didn’t fully know. Between the haze and the warmth and the overwhelming sense of security, there had been a flicker of... Something? Her body had pretty much given up trying to work out what was going on multiple toys ago, so any kind of awareness now was a guess at best. Dana would know though, she assumed. Her domme would know exactly what she needed.

“That was a workout,” Dana chuckled, taking the carton from her, “so I’m not surprised. Maybe tonight we’ll have a shower to make things faster. Then we can go downstairs and get started on dinner. What do you think, baby?”

That was a little unusual. The routine was normally that she’d be asked to pick one or the other, not be given a suggestion like that. But it only confirmed what she already knew, because having to make a choice right now might’ve been too much to deal with, and Dana simply noticed and avoided the problem before it could develop.

The dreamy quality to her voice matched the weightless feeling in her chest.

“I love you.”

Dana laughed and squeezed her tighter. “I’ll take that as a yes. And I love you too, baby. You’re my good, beautiful, funny, thoughtful, perfect girl.”

“More, please,” she asked again.

A hand on her jaw carefully pulled her from the crook of Dana’s neck, and lips soon left countless invisible claims across her face, every kiss both merciless and relentless and exactly what she wanted. Gentle caresses to closed eyelids. Firmer touches to flushed cheeks. The wet swipe of a tongue darting over her temple.

“Mine,” Dana began to whisper. “Mine. Mine. Mine.”

Her giggle was slightly breathless from the onslaught. “Yes, Miss.”

Cradling her close, her domme tucked her back into the cuddle with one last kiss to the top of her head.

“I don’t want to change our normal aftercare routine too much, but now I’m thinking it might be too soon to take off your collar. Today was a lot, wasn’t it?”

“Not in a bad way,” she replied, rubbing her cheek across Dana’s collarbone.

“I’m glad, honey. But we’re still going to take things slowly tonight, okay?”

“What will we do?”

“First, I’m going to take you to the bathroom and clean you up. We’ll still have a shower before we go to bed later, but this way you get to keep this,” Stella felt a hand wrap around her throat, over her collar, “on for as long as possible. I don’t even want to take it off for a shower, and I know that you know it’s not meant to get wet, so I don’t want to upset you by doing that either. Then we’ll go downstairs for dinner because what kind of domme would I be if I didn’t feed my good girl after she’s told me she’s hungry? I’ll cook and you can sit at the table and look pretty.”

It was a testament to quite how deep in subspace she still was that she didn’t realise Dana was clearly making the plan up on the spot. She just sat there, listening to her domme, drinking in every word.

“What are we having for dinner, Miss?”

Nails gently scratched at the nape of her neck. “Well, you can pick when we go downstairs if you’d like. Or I can choose for you.”

She snuggled in even closer. “You choose.”

“Okay, baby. Let’s have pasta.”

“Yes, Miss.”

For however long they sat there, she stayed right where she was, held safely in Dana’s arms. The rest of her life was barely a glint in the back of her mind. Even the scene they’d just shared didn’t matter all that much. Nothing did. Nothing but Dana’s hands on her skin and the steady rise and fall of Dana’s chest against her own. Her body felt heavy in the way that it might under thick duvets and blankets on a cold winter’s night, tucked up in the warmth beneath. 

When Dana apparently decided that she was ready to be moved, she found herself being helped up off the bed and slowly walked to the bathroom. She was held, turned, and gently cleaned with a damp washcloth, all without having to say a word. Dana spoke for her, praising her for the smallest of things and guiding her the whole way through.

“Still hungry, baby?” was the question to break her accidental silence.

“I think so?” she asked in response, looking to Dana for the answer.

Dana had all the answers.

“Well,” she heard as a soft robe slid up her arms, “I’m feeling hungry now, so why don’t we eat anyway? I worked you pretty hard today, honey.”

“Okay, Miss.”

Pressing up against her back, Dana slipped both arms around her waist to tie the robe’s belt and left a kiss on the edge of her jaw.

“That’s my girl.”

Once they made it downstairs, Dana quickly grabbed a cushion from the lounge before taking her through to the kitchen and setting it on one of the chairs at the table. Within moments of carefully sitting down, a glass of water was placed in front of her, and she reached for it under the watchful, expectant gaze of her domme.

“Don’t drink it too fast, but I want it finished by the time dinner’s ready.”

After her first sip, she replied, “Yes, Miss.”

“Good girl.”

It was only once Dana started cooking that she really had the time and mental space to think. Her mind wasn’t quite so clouded over as it had been, and through the dissipating fog of submission she began to sense the unwelcome return of her faculties. She didn’t want them. Not now. Not yet. The scene had been too much and this felt like too soon. A slow fading of subspace was always her favourite way to finish a scene - her mind calm and her thoughts unhurried as they came back to her. But she could already tell that it wasn’t going to be like that today. The last thing she needed after being fucked to the point of exhaustion was the sudden blow of her own frantic brain.

Dana could help; she was sure of that. But Dana was at the stove on the other side of the room, and what couldn’t have been more than two metres felt like miles. She met occasional comments with murmurs of agreement and she knew it probably looked as though she was alright. There was no reason to question anything. The initial swirls of her brewing panic were all still in her head. It was up to her to stop them getting any further.

Perhaps she could give it a try?

“Miss?” she asked quietly, leaning heavily on the table as she stood up.

Dana kept stirring the saucepan in front of her, but reached her free arm back, holding her hand out in invitation. “What is it, baby?”

Bubbling sauce and shuffling feet were all that kept them from silence as she hesitantly walked across the room. It felt a little stupid now. Honestly, what had she been thinking? Dana was right there, for goodness’ sake, so needing to be even closer was just pathetic.

Dana glanced back at her just in time to see her shaking her head.

“No? I’m not sure I understand.”

“No,” she repeated somewhat unhelpfully, taking Dana’s hand with both of her own and sidling up beside the woman until she could lean her cheek on her shoulder. “I wasn’t answering you. I was disagreeing with myself.”

“About what, baby?”

“That... That it’s not... pathetic to need you when I’m struggling.”

Letting go of her hands, Dana gently moved her until she was the one standing at the stove, pressed a spoon into her right hand, and hugged her from behind whilst she obediently took over the stirring.

“I’m glad you know that, baby. There’s nothing wrong with needing a bit more support when you’re feeling like this. Do you want to tell me why you’re struggling?”

As clear as the feelings were inside her, she barely knew how to articulate them.

“My brain feels like it’s working too fast? Too quickly?”

“Okay,” Dana replied, lightly rubbing her robed stomach with both hands. “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you just need me to be here with you?”

That was a hell of a lot easier to answer.

“Just you.”

Lips brushed across the skin behind her ear. “If you’re feeling fragile, then I guess I just need to be extra careful with you. I think I can manage that. Thank you for letting me help, baby.”

Only briefly letting go of her to add some pasta to a pan of boiling water, Dana guided her through until she was putting everything together and dishing it into a couple of bowls. Beyond the occasional praise or compliment, there was just one thing she was tasked with thinking about at all.

“Remember, baby, we can do this part by itself. It doesn’t always have to be after everything else. We don’t need to have sex for me to take care of you.”

“I know, Miss.”

She was still thinking about it whilst being sent into the lounge with cutlery and her forgotten glass of water, she was still thinking about it after being invited to curl up on Dana’s lap when they nestled into a corner of the sofa, and she was still thinking about it as she used her fork to move a few less than appetising pieces of broccoli around in her otherwise empty bowl.

Although she wasn’t particularly fond of broccoli, she’d never really had a strong opinion either way until now. But something in the weird headspace of having one foot in and one foot out of submission left her feeling fussier than usual. Quite simply, she didn’t want to eat it.

The word ‘yucky’ might even have come to mind.

Not that she’d ever admit it.

“Finish your vegetables,” Dana told her, not bothering to hide an amused smile.

“I don’t want to.”

Her tone of voice sounded far stroppier than she would’ve liked.

“Finish them,” Dana told her again, “or you can’t have ice cream later.”

Leaving her almost empty bowl on the sofa beside Dana, she turned in towards her and cuddled into her shoulder before muttering, “I can do what I like.”

It wasn’t exactly the strongest of arguments, nor one that did anything to dispel the childishness of the last few minutes.

There was a tiny, hopeful window where it seemed as though her terrible argument might have actually worked. No comeback. No command. Dana said absolutely nothing.

But then the tines of a fork bumped up against her lips, and before she could challenge her own nature, the weight of submission that still lingered over her pushed her to open her mouth and give in to her domme. Annoyingly, she could even feel herself preening at the sound of a rewarding, “Good girl.”

Rather than the lonely broccoli from her own bowl, she realised as she was chewing that she must’ve been fed from Dana’s bowl. She had to concede defeat over the broccoli, sure, but it was accompanied by pasta too. Another forkful followed the first, and then another, and after three, she was apparently done. All that was left was to obey one final instruction by leaning over to grab her glass of water from the coffee table.

“Sometimes,” she hesitated, cuddling closer into Dana’s lap, “I think it would be nice.”

Dana ran a hand across her upper back. “What would, baby?”

“This part, without everything... Without the sex.”

“Whenever you want it, all you have to do is ask.”

She took a slow sip. “The gag was a lot.”

No comment was made about the jumbled nature of what she was saying; Dana simply moved on to the new topic with her, keeping up with whichever feeling surfaced next.

“Do you want to talk about it now? Or do you want to leave it until tomorrow?”

“I- I think both?” she replied. “I liked it, but it was... intense. That’s all I have to say right now, actually. But I do want to talk about it when I can think properly.”

“Thank you for telling me.” Dana carefully took the now empty glass from her and, once it was out of the way, offered her a hand, smiling slightly when she looked up in confusion. “Normally you like playing with my hands when you’re... like this.”

“Like what?”

Though even as she asked, she gave in to the unconscious urge to take Dana’s hand between her own and begin gently fidgeting with it.

“I don’t know how to describe it. When you’re still submitting, but it’s not as deep, and you’re not turned on. I think it's cute. It’s just something you do pretty often.”

Pliant fingers curled under her touch as she moved them this way and that.

“I guess I do.”

Notes:

damn it's been so long that since the last chapter I literally went to the other side of the world for like a month and a half?? it turns out meeting fandom friends irl is great and going to Mardi Gras with one of them is even better, and the last few thousand words of this chapter were written with the help of a lovely apartment balcony near Bondi Beach (brb after I petition Australia to somehow move closer to Europe so I can visit more easily)

thanks as ever to Amber, but especially for this one because at a certain point I'd reread it too many times and the words stopped word-ing, which wasn't exactly ideal haha

the logistics of trying to include as many toys as I feasibly could without getting uber repetitive stumped me for a while, but I think I got there in the end. I'd love to know what people think, or which toy was your favourite! 💕

(alsooo the next chapter - or maybe the next 4 or 5 👀 - are already written (pinky promise), I just got reeeeeeaaaaally stuck on sorting out this one and editing it. I'm looking forward to sharing the next few 💕💕)

Chapter 21: Stripping

The soft thud of heels coming down the stairs marked Stella’s entrance, and Dana turned her gaze to the open doorway, openly and unashamedly staring.

Stella’s attire was nothing out of the ordinary. A simple, cream silk shirt. A form-fitting, black pencil skirt. Matte black heels. Well, they were her highest heels. And her normally bare legs were clad in low denier, black silk. Plus, there was a certain gold cuff around her wrist. So, it wasn’t quite ordinary. But it was close enough to send an illicit thrill up Dana’s spine.

Not least because it was exactly what she’d asked for.

Of all the things they’d tried so far, this was one of the first to be entirely her idea. Despite Stella’s willingness, she knew that the blonde was only doing it for her sake. She’d checked in multiple times, made sure that Stella wasn’t secretly uncomfortable, but ultimately, the matter merely ran as deep as a lack of interest. Stella had told her, frank as could be, that her pleasure was a good enough reason in itself, before reminding her that she’d already done the same with other suggestions and thus, really, it was only fair to repay the favour.

“I’ll be honest, darling,” Stella had said, “I’m a little nervous about the performance aspect of it all. But I’m not entirely against the idea. If what you want is a striptease, then that’s what you’ll get.”

Watching Stella walk across the room and kneel in front of her, she knew trust had been the right choice. Right, because she could tell from the blonde’s body language that slight nerves were the only thing plaguing her. Right, because she was already aroused from the mere thought of what was about to happen. The hem of Stella’s pencil skirt slid up her thighs and Dana’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip, imagining her hand slipping beneath the tight fabric.

“Ready, baby?” she asked, a husky quality to her voice betraying her arousal.

Stella took a moment to respond, tilting her head and clearly sizing up Dana’s reactions, before smiling with such a faux innocence that it managed to look more wicked than a smirk. Her eyes were bright but getting less clear by the second, clouding slowly as she descended into subspace

“Yes, Miss.”

She leant forwards to swap the gold chain around Stella’s neck for the leather collar that she’d already been clutching, then reached over to set the necklace aside on the coffee table. Refusing to look away, she smiled fondly as she watched her sub slowly roll her neck, feeling out the confines of the collar with closed eyes and a relaxed expression. The slight nerves that had pulled tension through Stella’s brow melted away in seconds; serenity was the only thing left in their wake.

“I love this.”

Despite Stella’s words sounding faint, their meaning was anything but. Her eyes stayed closed, her expression stayed relaxed, and as faintly as she’d just spoken, her shoulders slumped, relieved by her submission.

“So do I,” Dana said, lifting her hand to Stella’s cheek.

She was as much a captive then as Stella, losing herself to the intoxicating trappings of domspace whilst her sub instinctively leant into her hand. The world stood still as she felt the soft, sweet perfection of Stella’s lips brushing across the base of her thumb. The world ceased to exist entirely as fingers grasped her wrist, anchoring their bodies together so that she could feel the corner of those dastardly perfect lips pull into a smile against her palm.

After a few seconds spent simply basking in the moment, Stella’s eyes opened and her fingers let go of Dana’s wrist, both of her hands instead lifting to be helped up off the floor. The redhead took them, holding her steady as she got to her feet, before letting go and reclining back into the sofa, readying herself for the show.

“I’ll tell you what to do,” she said, her eyes blazing a slow, indulgent path up Stella’s clothed body. “You just need to be a good girl and listen.”

Stella straightened her shirt, the blissful smile still lingering on her face. “I think I can do that.”

She slipped her hand into her pocket, pulling out her phone, and watched Stella’s face as the speakers on the far side of the room started up, pumping Etta James’ voice through the air. Picking the music had taken her a while; she wanted to set a nice tone, one that was as playful as it was comfortable. Given the right circumstances, she’d seen just how playful Stella could get whilst submitting, and she was doing her best to encourage that attitude.

To her delight, the blonde carried on smiling down at her. And if she looked a little closer, was that a hint of mischief peeking through?

“Take off your shirt. Slowly.”

“Yes, Miss,” Stella said, the final consonant hissing through her parted lips as her hands raised to the highest button on her chest.

Dana’s eyes never left her fingers, watching them move and curl around her shirt buttons, obediently dragging the process on until neither of them could stand to wait any longer. With each button, Stella would linger just long enough, before finally flicking it open in time with the music’s brass-heavy beat. Then Dana was made to wait, victim to her own instructions, whilst Stella’s delicate, dextrous fingers trailed another couple of inches, falling to the next button and starting the process all over again.

She sat there, staring, her foot tapping unconsciously and her chest moving with deep, anticipatory breaths.

The shirt hung closed even after the final button was undone. But when one side was pulled open, whilst her focus was on the lingerie beneath, she caught Stella biting her lip in her periphery, merely adding to the perfect view in front of her. The lingerie was new; she could tell as much from the fact that she’d never seen it before. Black lace covered the breast that had been revealed, and when Stella lifted her arms to pull the bottom of her shirt out of her pencil skirt, the stretch revealed another band of that same lace, barely hidden by the waistband of her skirt once her arms came back down.

“That looks good on you. I can’t wait to see the rest.”

“I bought it for this,” Stella replied, running the tip of her middle finger across the lace cup’s edge. “For you.”

Her automatic response was louder than she would’ve liked, but her sub’s cheeky, confident giggle made the groan worthwhile.

“Shall I keep going, Miss?”

“Yeah, baby. Keep going.”

Stella looked remarkably pleased with herself for earning the reaction she’d gotten so far, and the sight made Dana just as pleased. She’d done it. She’d got it right. She’d created this environment and now she could reap the reward of watching her sub thrive. Stella’s playful demeanour refused to fade. If anything, it blossomed further still. She watched as the other side of the shirt was pulled open, as it was pushed off the blonde’s shoulders, and as it was shimmied down her arms to be whipped across the room. The shirt disappeared from her vision as soon as it left Stella’s arms; nothing so trivial as a piece of fabric was about to stop her from flicking between the grin on Stella’s face and the sumptuous curves of her lace-covered breasts.

Although it was hard for her to think that Stella could look any more perfect, that feat was achieved by the flash of teal leather she saw every time her eyes flicked from one sight to the other, reminding her that not only was Stella perfect.

Stella was hers.

“What would you like me to take off next, Miss?”

She took a minute to respond, too distracted by Stella’s hips swaying in time with the music to immediately come up with an answer.

“The skirt,” she said, forcing her gaze all the way down the blonde's stocking-clad legs. “Do it slowly again. I liked that. And keep the heels on.”

Stella glanced down at her own body before looking back up into Dana’s eyes, hands planted on her hips and thumbs slipping beneath the edge of her skirt. The gold around her wrist glinted in the light. “Yes, Miss.”

“Good girl.”

Clearly relishing the praise, Stella closed her eyes and tipped her head back, listening to the last song fade and a new one begin. Her movements took on a more performative edge with this next song, and Dana was captivated as she took hold of the zipper on her skirt. It slid down in jerky, rhythmic motions, unzipping with the beat of the music, and that’s when Dana got to see quite how confident she truly felt.

Her lips moved, but she didn’t go so far as to sing, letting the music go undisturbed whilst she mouthed the words.

“And I just wanna make love to you.”

But before Dana could give her anything in the way of a reply, she turned around.

Dana’s confusion at the turn lasted only until Stella’s hands grabbed either side of her skirt. She spread her legs slightly and bent over, presenting her ass and giving Dana a wiggle as she pushed her skirt down. The fabric bunched, pressing into her flesh from how tightly it clung to her.

The first thing Stella revealed was the suspender belt that the redhead had already caught a glimpse of, but now she got to see the whole thing. Or the back, at least. It looked to be made out of the same lace as Stella’s bra and it sat right in the curve of her waist, exactly where Dana wanted to grab her and give up the whole charade, fucking her until she screamed loud enough to drown out the music entirely.

It had all been Dana’s idea in the first place. But in trying to remind herself of that, her resolve weakened even more, because it reminded her of something else too. Stella was doing this purely for her.

Stella had bought a new set of lingerie with the sole intent of her seeing it. Stella had fought back nerves just to please her. And now? Now, Stella was so obviously enjoying putting on a show for her that she could see the blonde dancing from side to side whilst dragging the skirt down her thighs.

Getting back to what she’d been doing until her urges almost got the better of her, she hummed in appreciation, watching Stella’s ass jiggle as the skirt fell to her ankles. The matching thong hid as little as it possibly could, and it gave Dana an opportunity to prove she still had some faint degree of self-control. Because if anything was going to unleash her barely contained arousal, it was the tempting sight of those suspender straps, barely digging into the plump swell of Stella’s ass before running down to hold the stockings up across her thighs.

“You look incredible.”

She clenched her own thighs together when Stella swept her hair out of the way, straightening up to turn her head and reply, “Thank you, Miss.”

“I mean it, baby.” She focused on Stella’s heels as the skirt was kicked off, noting that they stayed on as requested. “It’s taken all my self-control not to fuck you already.”

“And miss the rest of the show? Surely, you wouldn’t want that?”

Unsure whether to smile or shake her head at her sub’s seductively playful attitude, she opted to do both. “No, I wouldn’t. But now, I want you to come over here.”

Stella turned back around and cleared the few steps between them, coming to stand just in front of her knees and returning those delicate hands to those gorgeous hips. She had to just sit there briefly, taking in the view. She couldn’t stop herself from staring. With her intelligent, accomplished, beautiful sub practically at her fingertips, collared and decked out in lingerie for her pleasure, she felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

“I love you so much,” she said, beside herself with elation as she leant forwards and stroked her hands up the outside of Stella’s thighs.

Her hands moved further, reaching round to undo all of the suspender straps as she heard Stella say, “I love you so much too, Miss.”

Without meaning to, she leant closer, and before long, her forehead came to rest against Stella’s front, eyes level with the waistband of her thong. A giggle sounded above her, but she ignored it, busying herself with lacing the suspender straps beneath the thong so that it could be taken off without having to remove anything else. She clipped the suspender straps back onto the stockings and, after pressing her lips to Stella’s damp, lace-covered sex, sat back up to give her next instruction, spreading her legs so that Stella could get between them.

“Turn around.”

She was met with Stella’s ass once her instruction was obeyed. On impulse, she teased the blonde with a sudden swipe of her tongue across her ass cheek, chuckling when her actions were met with a flinch and a surprised whimper.

“Bend over.”

She helped with that one, lifting to plant a hand on Stella’s llower back and gently pushing her over.

“That’s my good girl.” Both of her hands wrapped around the fronts of Stella’s thighs. “Now, baby, take off your panties.”

It pleased her to see Stella repeat what had been done with the skirt, prey to the music as the thong made a slow descent over her ass and down her thighs. She loosened her grip so that the wet fabric could get down past her hands, but quickly grabbed hold again, clenching the flesh of Stella’s silky, stockinged thighs in her grip and listening to the intoxicating sound of her sub’s breathy moan at being held so possessively. With Stella bent over, she could see her sex, glistening with wetness and flushed from arousal, more than ready to be fucked.

She couldn’t wait any longer.

She spun Stella around, nearly knocking her off-balance, and yanked her onto her lap, waiting only for her to get into a comfortable, straddled position before finally grabbing her waist right over the suspender belt. Stella sank willingly onto her thighs, grinding down against her in time with the beat.

Plush lips. A wide smile. Black lace. Teal leather. Wavy blonde curls, tumbling down over her shoulders. Tensing muscles. Eyes brimming with enthusiasm.

“You’re so...” Dana surprised herself then with the word that came to mind. “Powerful.”

“Oh, really?” Stella giggled, slipping her arms around her neck.

Copying the move, she held Stella’s waist in her arms and urged on her rhythmic grinding. “Mhm, baby. I was hoping you’d enjoy yourself, but I didn’t think you were going to have this much fun.”

“I didn’t think so either. Thank you for suggesting it, Miss.”

“Trust me,” she said, dropping one hand from Stella’s waist to press it against her sex, loving how quickly it became coated in arousal. “The pleasure is all mine.”

Stella went to laugh at the phrase, but she thrust two fingers inside her before that could happen, watching her lips part with a near silent gasp.

“You’re not done yet. Take off your bra.”

“Yes, Miss,” Stella moaned, rolling her hips to push Dana’s fingers deeper.

The blonde’s cunt was slick and hot around her fingers, inner walls pulsing with need as she curled to brush across Stella’s g-spot. Despite a few helpless shudders, Stella made good on her instruction, and she rewarded the obedience with slow, satisfying strokes of her fingers whilst Stella reached behind herself to undo her bra.

A strap was pushed from one shoulder, then the other, and she smirked as Stella held the lacy cups to her breasts with trembling hands, trying to maintain her seductive approach even whilst clearly succumbing to the work of Dana’s fingers.

“Take. It. Off."

Each word came out between sudden, harder thrusts, spoken in such an unexpectedly biting tone that it made Stella jerk against her.

“Yes, Miss!”

Stella flung the bra aside, revealing her nude chest, and Dana lurched forwards, sucking one of her nipples into her mouth whilst wrapping the suspender belt around the hand on Stella’s back, pushing her into her mouth and down onto her fingers in one swift motion. When the lacy belt dug into her fingers, she gripped it even tighter. She’d worked so very hard to control herself, but she was foolish to have ever thought it could last, not with her sub looking like this, acting like this, tempting her aggressively sexual urges right to the forefront of her mind.

“Mmm,” she moaned through a mouthful of Stella’s breast, her head dizzy with need and her body electrified with hunger.

The music was quieter then, or perhaps it was just her. Perhaps she couldn’t hear it over the thumping of her heart and the whiny breaths that caressed her eardrums like a calling of the divine. Nails scraped against the back of her neck, scrabbling for purchase against her, and she retaliated in kind, biting down with what care she could muster and groaning at the thought of what she would leave behind. The one thing that might’ve been able to make the blonde look any more alluring than she already did was this: Dana’s undeniable claim to her littering her chest.

And how downright sinful it looked when Dana managed to drag herself away.

Stella knelt there, straddling her lap, gladly taking her fingers and watching her with furrowed brows and a hung-open mouth, squirming as she cast her eyes to her own creation. That black lacy bra had fit the blonde as though it were made for her, but nothing could compare to how fitting these patches of red and pink looked. How utterly right. How naturally they marked her. How completely Dana owned her.

Reminded of that ownership, Dana took it upon herself to remind Stella of the same. “You were meant to be performing for me, baby, but I’m doing a lot of the work here. Come on, ride my fingers like a good girl.”

“Yes, Miss,” Stella said without hesitation.

She let go of the suspender belt, dropping to fondle Stella’s thigh once more, and stilled her other hand in her lap. She was going to make Stella work for her satisfaction. Although, she knew she would’ve been kidding herself to assume that Stella needed to work hard for that satisfaction. Whatever power she might’ve held, Stella remained her weakness. And, when it came to that weakness, she wasn’t difficult to please.

The beat of the music returned. Or Stella’s movements returned it to her attention anyway. Rocking in her lap, she watched her sub ride her fingers like the good girl she’d long since been head over heels for. Stella’s hands retreated from her neck, lifting to tease the marks she’d just left on her chest. Soon after, they moved again, sliding beneath to cup the undersides of her breasts whilst thumbs teased her pert nipples and the occasional smear of Dana’s saliva caught the light.

“Ohh,” Stella sighed, “you feel wonderful.”

“Oh, yeah?” She pressed her palm to Stella’s clit.

The blonde writhed in her lap, nodding vigorously and pushing down onto her hand.

“Are you going to come for me?”

Somehow, Stella nodded more violently than before. Dana watched the force of it move through her heaving breasts.

“Good girl,” she cooed, power coursing through her when Stella whimpered from the sweeter sound of her voice alone. “You’ve behaved so nicely for me, baby. You did everything I asked. And I always make sure you’re satisfied, don’t I? I always give you what you need.”

“Yes, Miss.”

“Come whenever you want.”

“Thank you!”

She grinned as Stella’s eyes screwed shut, muttering under her breath, “So polite.”

Wetness soaked her hand, lewdly squelching every time that Stella moved, grinding against her palm and convulsing around her fingers. Stella’s breasts bounced on each thrust and Dana licked her lips, unable to stop her own hips from rolling, pushing her fingers even deeper into her sub.

“I’m close,” Stella whined. “Fuck, I’m close.”

“I’ve got you. Come for me.”

Dana watched, enraptured, as the blonde just about fell apart on her lap. Stella’s cheeks twitched, her abdominal wall clenched, her fingertips pinched her nipples, and her cunt tightened around the redhead’s fingers. A slew of loud moans spilled from her lips and the pleasure racked her body so hard that she looked fit to collapse once it was over.

But it wasn’t enough. Not for Dana. Not after letting her have so much power earlier on.

Stella let out a sudden, high pitched gasp as Dana roughly curled her fingers. She slid her hand round to support the blonde’s back again and fucked her as hard as she could, forcing her straight into another climax and groaning alongside her as a rush of wetness squirted from her entrance, running down Dana’s tense, thrusting wrist. Stella’s eyes opened wide and she met their hazy, submissive stare with her own. Predatorial. She kept going, kept making Stella cry out with abandon, until she felt the muscles against her other palm start to give, at which point she drew back, finally letting her sub sink down against her chest, trusting and pliant on her lap.

“You had to remember who’s in charge,” she murmured, wiping her fingers clean before cuddling Stella close. “I couldn’t let you have all the power, could I?”

The blonde huffed a breathless giggle against the front of her shoulder. “No, Miss. You’re in charge.”

“That’s right, baby.”

Once Stella had been given ample time to calm down, safely tucked within her arms, she felt her wriggle slightly, starting to get impatient.

“What is it?” she asked quietly. “What do you want now?”

“I already came twice, but you haven’t come yet.”

Dipping her head, she pressed her lips to the crown of blonde hair beneath her chin and squeezed Stella’s waist in response to the sweet intention. “Do you want to fix that?”

“Yes, please.”

Stella made a tiny, adorably displeased sound when she helped her up, but it faded as soon as she guided her to her knees on the floor, looking down at her with a proud smile.

“Take my pants off, baby.”

Like a flash, her mind went to the very first time, remembering how Stella had knelt in front of her and tugged her trousers down with an eagerness that had taken her breath away. This time was different. This was comfortable now. Usual, even. Stella’s attire was new, but that was it. A suspender belt, stockings, and a pair of black stilettos were their only novelty, and she couldn’t exactly describe her brilliant detective choosing to wear heels as a novelty to begin with. The collar around her sub’s throat and the cuff around her wrist merely added to the view.

“Miss?”

“Hmm?” She refocused, realising Stella had managed to pull both her trousers and underwear out from under her and down to her ankles. “Good girl.”

Her clothes were kicked off to the side, left to be tidied up later, and she slouched down on the sofa, tilting her pelvis upwards and feeling cool air hit her damp sex whilst Stella looked on, eager as ever. The blonde’s expression was alert, fingers absentmindedly fidgeting with Dana’s knees, waiting as patiently as possible for the next instruction.

“I want your fingers, but I want you to lick me as well. Think you can do that?”

Stella’s gaze dragged away from her sex to look up at her, lips curling into their widest grin yet.

“Yes, Miss.”

“Go on then. Make me come.”

As she spread her legs to give the blonde some room, a cold shiver ran down the sensitive skin of her inner thigh; Stella’s wetness must’ve soaked through her trousers.

Before she could give that piece of knowledge much thought, a deep groan rose up from her chest as Stella took her first lick, moaning performatively against her cunt and immediately going back for seconds. Not long after, a finger began pushing at her entrance, tentatively warning her as though seeking permission. She thrust her hips, pressing Stella’s finger in up to the first knuckle.

“Fuck me, baby,” she demanded.

And fuck her Stella very well did.

A second finger joined the first, burying itself inside her whilst the blonde lapped at her clit and nuzzled straight into the apex of her thighs, getting as close as could be. Stella’s nose scrunched, seemingly tickled by the trimmed curls across her mound, but that wasn’t enough to cool either of them from their respective highs. Stella’s high - one of determination to please her, to live up to the title of being her good girl. Her high - one of heady, overwhelming arousal, the kind that she knew would leave her nearly as dripping wet as she’d made her sub.

That arousal pumped through her veins, warming her from the inside out and igniting tremors down her body as she gave herself over to it. Whatever their roles, Stella had always known how to fuck her, and that experience wasn’t lost in submission. The fingers inside her angled themselves for her downfall and the tongue on her clit teased her until she was hanging over the edge, barely clinging on by her own fingertips, needing that last, final push to surrender.

When Stella moaned again, the rumbling vibrations that travelled through her sex were what did it. They didn’t offer her a gentle push; they shoved her over the edge, leaving her to fall into bliss whilst the blonde carried on fucking her throughout her climax.

By the time that she regained logical thought, Stella had switched to light, soft licks, having removed the fingers inside her to happily clean her up in the aftermath.

“Good girl,” she said, her voice drowsy and low.

She’d already noted it enough times for one night, but this, she decided, was her sub’s cutest smile yet. Beaming from the opportunity to please her. Lips smeared with her cum. She couldn’t imagine a better sight.

“Come here.”

Stella clambered back up onto the sofa, legs draped sideways over her lap, and leant in against her chest the moment that she allowed it. Dana reached for her heels. They slipped off her feet and landed on the floor with a thud similar to that of the stairs when this all began, and she pulled Stella in for a hug as she thought back on their evening. Reminiscence didn’t need to wait long to be enjoyed.

A hand fell to Stella’s thigh, plucking at the top of one of her stockings.

“I know I told you already, but you look incredible.”

The blonde laughed, warm and rich. “I don’t mind being told again.”

“You,” she repeated, earning yet another laugh as she pushed Stella down onto her back and climbed on top, one hand leaning on the cushion above her shoulder whilst the other still held her thigh. “Look. Incredible.”

Her arm was forced to move if she wanted to keep her hand on Stella’s thigh. Legs wrapped around her hips and brought her down as they both lay there on the sofa. She rested her weight on Stella’s chest, still fondling her thigh, and took a deep, relaxed breath as fingers brushed through her hair, nails scraping over her scalp. Her eyes closed when her head turned, nestling into the valley between the blonde’s breasts.

Stella mused overhead; she was delighted by how peaceful her voice sounded.

“I think I’d conjured up this idea in my head of how exposing it would feel - stripping for you. But, as I was doing it, all I could see was how much you were enjoying watching me. I felt... empowered and submissive at the same time, as though I only had as much power as you wanted to give me. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt like that before. I’ll admit, it was rather fun.”

“Honestly,” she murmured, muffled by a refusal to get any further from Stella’s body and warmed by the pride of having been able to make her feel empowered, “I didn’t know whether I wanted to give you more power, or take it away completely. I’m glad you had fun, baby. I did too.”

“Well, I look forward to seeing what you decide to do with me next time. That is, if you want there to be a next time?”

A low growl rumbled through her throat, though it was soon overpowered by a light giggle which made her reaction even stronger. She pushed herself up, letting go of Stella’s thigh, and planted her forearms on either side of Stella’s head, pretending to snarl just so that she could hear her giggle even louder.

“I definitely want there to be a next time.”

“Okay, Miss,” Stella replied with a smug, amused grin, hands clasping together at the nape of Dana’s neck. “Whatever you want.”

Notes:

for this chapter, I was going for short and (hopefully!) sweet. honestly, playful Stella is maybe my favourite of all the various moods in this fic

thanks for reading! and I hope this tides you over for smutty times until chapter 23, because next chapter things are getting decidedly gentle

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Novel Explorations