Chapter Text
Max’s POV
Max sat on the worn porch, watching as the first golden rays from the sun brightened the dark blue hue of the early morning sky. The awe that bubbled within her chest did not fade, no matter how many sunrises Max got to experience. Though she could barely comprehend the basics of science, Max was fascinated with the workings of the world. Just as she was interested in finding the best way to permanently capture these moments in time. Her blue eyes were alight with wonder as she watched the sunrise while time slowly ticked by, but she did nothing more than fiddle with the old polaroid camera that was perched on her lap. Normally Max would leap at the opportunity to capture this moment… but she was too wound up to do the sunrise any justice.
Although she enjoyed the gentle briskness of the beautiful autumn morning, Max was not the type of person to choose to be up so early. No, she had been driven from her sleep by her nightmares- memories. Her nightmares that fixated on her memories that were twisted by her anxiety. No amount of time seemed to be able to heal what Max had experienced in highschool. The meds helped, and so did the breathing exercises… but the anxiety always lingered. It coiled within her like a snake those fateful few moments before it lunged for their prey. In this case, Max was the prey.
Getting disowned by her parents hadn’t helped.
She had grown close to both of her parents after all the shit went down in highschool. They had agreed to let her switch to an online school to finish her last couple years of highschool after begging them to let her drop out at seventeen. Max had considered the both of them to be her biggest supporters, and she had trusted and loved her parents more than anyone else in her life. Until a few months ago, at least. Until her parents had received an anonymous note in the mail that had outed Max as queer. The whole situation had caught Max completely off guard, though there was no doubt in her mind who had dropped the damning note in the mailbox.
Anyone who knew Max could account for the fact that she was a terrible liar. Her attempts to deny the claim that she was pansexual were quite pathetic, really. There had been a reason Max never told her parents about her sexuality. Ryan and Vanessa Caulfield were the average conservative American couple and though Max loved them more than anything, she had known that they would never accept her.
Still, she hadn’t expected to get disowned. Like disowned, disowned, kicked out of the house and left to fend for herself.
If not for Fernando, Max knew that she would have lost her shit completely. They helped Max through those first horrible couple of weeks after being outed, letting her crash at their apartment without need for explanation. Then when Max did explain what had happened, it was their embrace that she had cried into. It was then quickly decided that Max needed to get the hell out of Seattle so she could put space between her and her parents… Which somehow led to the decision to move to California. Max had been unsure to start with, California wasn’t exactly her vibe, but had eventually agreed that it was a good option. She would be able to find another job, and California had a reputable University of the Arts that interested her. One of the most alluring aspects to California was Kristen, however. Kristen had moved to California after finishing highschool and had been ecstatic when they had asked her if they could crash at hers while they sorted out their own place. Paying rent and bills, of course, depending on how long they ended up staying. Luckily Max had been saving up money - for no reason other than it made her anxious to spend it, and she enjoyed the security she felt looking at her bank account - from her job at the most adorable little cafe. Her parents had helped her get the job after she had finished with online school… Max did her best just to forget about that tidbit of information.
She was still in slight awe about living in California, despite already being here for around a month and half now. The whole thing was just so spontaneous. Max never did spontaneous, ever. In fact, Max would consider herself the opposite of spontaneous. If not for Fernando, Max likely would have ended up crawling back to her parents.
“Mornin- Shit, sorry! Thought you heard the door open!”
Max had been lost so deep in her thoughts that she had not heard her friend come join her. She startled, hitting her elbow against the wooden railing. Though superficial as an injury could get, it freaking hurt! Max rubbed her fingers against the barking pain, directing a grouchy pout in Fernando’s direction. “Dog, that hurts Fern!” There was a definite snark to her tone, though Max doubted she could ever feel true annoyance towards them.
“Sorry, sorry again dude… Would a cup of coffee make it up to you?” They extended the mug with an amused, but slightly bashful, grin.
Any plans to hold her injured elbow against Fernando were quickly abandoned when the bitter smell of coffee floated towards Max. She was not sure how many hours of sleep she had ended up getting… but it had definitely not been the recommended 8-10 hours. Maybe not even half of that. “Thanks,” Max said as she accepted the peace offering. She patted the wooden ground beside her and scooted over slightly to make room for Fernando. They plopped down beside her, not touching, but close enough for it to feel like they were. Max always appreciated how Fernando always respected her uncomfortableness around physical contact.
A companionable sort of silence wrapped around them, Max more than happy to just sip at her coffee and watch the now waning sunrise. The coffee had the creamy texture that she preferred, while remaining bitter. She would always be a sweet over savory type of girl, but coffee was the one exception. If she was going to hardwire her body on caffeine, she wanted to also avoid dumping a shit ton of sugar in it.
She noticed Fernando fidgeting in her peripheral vision, and turned to face them. Max said nothing, taking another small sip of her coffee as she waited for them to say whatever was obviously on their mind.
“...Would you like to talk about why you are up so early?”
The question was loaded, and intense, but not pressuring. Max had talked to a few people about everything, including Fernando, and she knew they only asked to give her an opening incase she did want to talk about it. The gesture itself was sweet, and talking to people was sometimes what Max needed- but this morning felt more like a wallow-in-her-own-thoughts type of morning. She chewed on the inside of her mouth, offering her friend what she hoped was a reassuring smile. (It definitely wasn’t.)
“N-no, it’s okay. Just.. a bad night.” She couldn’t help the way her voice dropped, clenching her fingers around the mug in her hands. “I am interested in why you are up so early, though, it’s not like you to miss out on beauty rest.” Max teased, jostling her elbow into their side.
Mock outrage flashed in Fernando’s eyes, though they made no move to refute the claim. Her friend really did remind her of one of the main characters in an early 2000s movie with perfect hair and makeup and an immaculate style. Their hair was buzzled along the sides and longer on the top, curling into perfect brown ringlets that dropped into hazel eyes and accentuated the smooth angles of their face. All of Fernando’s outfits were stylish and bold, including the many accessories they used to ‘bring the look together.’ Whatever that meant. Max would readily admit that they were quite attractive, and had even set up a whole photo shoot for Fernando, who had been a very eager model.
“Well this staggering beauty doesn’t exactly feel like traipsing across half of California to arrive all hot and bothered to attend an important dance audition. K agreed to drop me off on her way to work, but she leaves sooooo early!” There was a slight pause. “She is gonna hook me up with a new dealer though, I have like nothing left from the stash I brought.”
Her nose scrunched in slight distaste. “Firstly, ew, secondly, good luck! I know that you will do just amazing, Fern”
“Y’know, I really don’t think you have the right to shit on cigarettes or weed anymore since you brought that vape.” They responded impishly, waggling their eyebrows at her.
Max supposed that was a… valid point. Though she didn’t use her vape that often, she had grown rather attached to it. There was something therapeutic in toking nicotine into her system until her anxiety felt like it might implode. No one seemed to understand her insistent explanation that it really did give her a sense of control. Max also found the different flavors of juice to be so interesting! She could think of any taste or food and the chances are that she would be able to try it out in vape form.
“...Or do you hold a grudge against weed from the time you greened out after having one cone?”
Her blue eyes widened in disbelief, and she contemplated shoving Fernando off the slightly raised porch. “Ughhhhhh!” She responded, shoving her flushed face into the crook of her elbow. She was never going to be able to live that one down. Deciding to try smoking had been a mistake for Max, point blank. She was perfectly content with her prescription medication, thank you very much.
Once Max had recovered from the embarrassing memories that had resurfaced and straightened back up, she realized that the sunrise had well and truly finished for the morning. She supposed that was her queue to start getting ready for the day. Tucking her camera into her armpit, Max accepted Fernando’s offered hand and clambered to her feet with a grunt. “Wowsers do I feel stiff and old.” She grumbled under her breath, which resulted in an amused noise from Fernando.
“You aren’t 21 for a couple of weeks yet, babes. If you’re old, what does that make everyone else…?”
The teasing was typical, and Max supposed that she had walked right into that one herself.
“It makes them mega old.” Max responded in a cool tone that she had never been able to quite master. It seemed to please her friend, however, and they smiled generously in her direction before the two of them meandered back into the house.
✦ ✧ ✦ ✧
Max stood in front of the ceiling to floor mirror, critically examining her appearance. She had never really been the type of person to care about what she looked like, but she had at least gained a meager sense of style before she dropped out of highschool. This ‘style’ consisted of slightly too large and faded mom jeans and a variety of button up tops. Today she had paired a pink button up top, rolled up at the sleeves, with her favorite blue jeans. She couldn’t help the subconscious hands that ran down her side, trying to figure out how her body would be perceived by the people around her. She shrugged on one of her less worn jackets overtop, practically sinking into the comfort that it offered.
Puberty had been rather disappointing for Max, as she remained short and slim as she had been during her youth. At the very least her face was sometimes pretty… sometimes. Perhaps a bit gaunt, but with the potential to be perceived as pretty. She had been growing out her hair for a bit now, too.
Her hair was also filled with jagged layers, and her bangs choppy, from one time when she was hanging out with Fernando and they thought it would be a brilliant idea to give her an at-home chop. It was supposed to be a wolf-cut or something, but it definitely didn’t look like one. She still liked it, though. The most notable change would have to be the small silver stud that gleamed on the left side of her freckled nose. Her parents had been unhappy with the piercing but Max was especially glad now that she had let Fernando and Kristen pressure her into getting it. If only to spite them.
Normally Max would just avoid judging her appearance before leaving the house but it was kinda important to do the opposite today. She had an important job interview for a totally indie art gallery a few blocks away. Of course it was just as a receptionist… but the prospect of being surrounded by all different types of art and media from acknowledged artists gave her the thrills. It was almost enough to drive away the gloom that lingered from her dream, though she kept catching herself picking at her skin without really realizing what she was doing.
It was important to her that she looked composed. She really, really wanted this to work out.
Expelling a breath of nervous energy, Max forced herself to turn away from the mirror. Her and Fernando had transformed Kristen’s living room into their own little bunker, with bedding strewn both on the couch and an air mattress that lay on the ground. She would feel more guilty for taking up the other girls space, but they were close enough that Max forced herself to just relax and be comfortable. It was a nice little house, anyway. Small and a bit worn, situated at the bottom of a quiet street- that just so happened to have an amazing view of the beach. Max was not sure how Kristen was able to afford the place honestly, but the age of the house might factor into that. Her friend had also just started a government paid job that had something to do with being a climate analyst. She supposed it would pay quite nice.
Max did hope that she and Fernando would be out of Kristen’s hair soon enough. Even if the other girl seemed completely nonplussed and had even offered to drop Max off at her job interview, as well taking Fernando to their audition. Wanting to go for a walk and explore, Max had gently declined the offer, but her heart had been warmed nonetheless. It made her anxious to wander California alone but she used the idea of photo opportunities to bully herself into being okay with it.
Of course the reassurance from Fernando and Kristen before the two of them had also been helpful at calming her nerves. It had also been joined with a gentle reminder to eat breakfast.
Right, breakfast. Sometimes Max forgot that a cup of coffee wasn’t actually considered breakfast, and that she needed to also eat actual food. Which was something Max should probably do now if she wanted good lighting for her pictures.
She quickly gathered all of her stuff into her bag first. The same bag that she had been lugging around for as long as she could remember and was too sentimental to upgrade from. Her excuse was that it fit everything she needed. Kinda.
Being pretty low maintenance had its benefits in regards to bag space. Being an aspiring photographer did not. Max absolutely needed to take her polaroid camera with her, for those shots that she wanted to keep for herself or needed a certain vibe that could only be captured with the rustic instant film. She also needed her more modern, though slightly worn, camera that she used to take most of her ‘official’ shots on. Max had convinced her parents to buy her the camera, which had been pretty flash at the time, because it would ‘benefit her future.’ Moreso Max was desperate to fit in and had been a bit of a suck up to her semi-popular friend group in high school.
Other than that it was just small stuff like chapstick, earphones, anxiety meds in case she had a bad attack, mascara, etc.
So yeah, she found a way to make it work.
Having now slung her bag over her shoulder and tugged her small feet into her old pair of Doc Martens (a birthday present from her parents a couple years back) she headed into the kitchen area. There was a slight queasy feeling in her stomach that felt like worms, but she forced herself to ignore it. For a long moment Max just stared at all the options that she noticed. Cereal, toast, porridge…
Max could feel herself becoming more overwhelmed the more she stared at all the options. She knew that the longer she remained frozen on the spot like a deer caught in headlights, the less likely she was going to be able to make a choice at all. Her hand jerked out, selecting a slightly squishy apple from the top of the fruit bowl. An apple could qualify as breakfast. Even if it was slightly squishy.
Deciding just to eat her apple while on the go, Max turned away from the kitchen and hurried out.
✦ ✧ ✦ ✧
Navigation was about as much Max’s strength as was hand eye coordination. Luckily Max was able to just punch in the location on her phone's map system, put her faith in it, and follow along. She was glad that she decided to walk to the interview as it turned out the gallery was situated at the top of one of the more low key shopping streets. Max had left early, worried something might delay her and cause her to be late, so she should definitely have time to pop into a store or two that piqued her interest.
For now Max just focused on observing her surroundings as she walked, taking the occasional small bite out of the apple and trying not to make a face. In her defense, fruit did belong in the fridge. A cold, crisp apple was much more enjoyable than a warm, mushy one that had been sitting on a bench.
Her other hand rested lightly on top of the polaroid camera inside her bag. Just in case Max saw something that she wanted to capture in the spur of the moment. Having been in California for a bit now, Max had to admit it was growing on her. It definitely wasn’t her state of choice, but it was okay. She had worried that she would stick out of place like a sore thumb, had stereotyped California to be full of blondes with an addiction to plastic surgery, but it was almost the opposite. There were just so many people here! So many people, all with different styles, stories, and secrets. Max had spent one afternoon just geeking at everyone who walked past her. She wanted to find a way to deconstruct the way California was viewed to focus on this individuality she saw, but wasn’t entirely the best way to do that. Max preferred to take photos of animals and nature, that sort of genre. Not people. The photoshoots she had done with Fernando and some of her other friends had definitely been fun, though. Maybe she would be able to find a way to incorporate that into her current idea.
She was slowly munching through another bite of apple when a bird caught her attention. Max was not sure what type of bird, but its feathers were a striking velvety silver - really gray, but Max was a dreamer - color. The feathers on its head also stuck up, making the bird look like it was wearing some sort of weird hat. Chucking inwardly, Max gently placed the remains of her apple in a nearby bin, and approached the bird with her polaroid camera in both of her hands.
The bird was clinging vertically to a branch, showing mighty strength for such a small creature. Max liked how the bird's attention was focused off into the distance. Like it was watching out for something that she couldn’t see. The sun had started to creep up through the sky, which was absolutely perfect for Max. She bent down awkwardly, huffing slightly, and positioned her camera towards the bird. The rays of light from the sun were visible from this angle; Radiant beams that highlighted the nobility of the bird.
Max decided to go for it and take the shot. The familiar nose sounded and she hovered as she waited for the photo to slip out. It was a tense few minutes of waiting after the photo did slip out, Max chewing on the inside of her mouth to dispel the energy that was gathering within her.
Once the photo had developed she peered at it for a long time with a critical view. The photo was… good. She supposed. Max could never quite shake her photos not meeting the expectations she set for herself. Sure the photo was good, and Max knew what she was doing, but she always felt more than a step away from great . Like her photos were missing some crucial element that every other photographer somehow seemed to have.
Despite her disappointment in her own work, Max had always found this type of photography natural, similar to breathing. Max preferred to just take photos in the moment. Her trained eyes could look at something and analyze it in her mind as if it was already a picture. That way she could know if it would be worth actually taking the photo or not. She was also easily inspired, finding beauty in the quietness of nature.
Max had come to realize that California had a different type of nature. Perhaps it was the close proximity to the beach and the raging ocean, but nature seemed more angry here. Like there was a constant energy thrumming through it. She hadn’t decided if that was a good thing or a bad thing yet. Not that there was much wild nature in California, anyway. It was far too built up for that. All the vegetation was domesticated and well-mainted, or destroyed all together for development. Which was quite sad, in Max’s humble opinion.
She slipped the photo into her bag with a sigh, intending to stick it in her journal later, and continued on to the art gallery.
The walk was actually quite peaceful. Max ended up sticking her earphones in to listen to music. It helped her ignore the bustle of people around her as the streets became more populated. When she felt the inspiration she was quick to snap a picture but for the most part she just enjoyed her walk. Autumn had to be her favorite season. The world became infinitely more beautiful when the color palette shifted into terracotta oranges, burnt yellows, and mellow browns. A slight heat from summer lingered in the air, warming her face as she walked. Californias autumn would never compare to Seattles autumn or Oregons autumn, though.
Time passed surprisingly fast, and Max reluctantly removed her earphones to reemerse herself with the world.
The street was winding, with small stores crammed along it. She expected herself to be overwhelmed, but found she actually wasn’t. The people around her walked with a quiet sense of urgency. Focused. It was quite different to the popular landmarks Kristen had dragged her and Fernando to. At those places the hum of energy from the tourists always threatened to trigger her anxiety.
Max decided that she would quite like to work on this street. She could see the smooth white exterior of the gallery up ahead, sparking a thrum of nerves inside of her.
Tapping at the smooth skin on the inside of her wrists, Max took in all of the stores. It felt like there was everything you could possibly imagine. From cafes to clothing boutiques to hippie looking jewelry shops. She made a mental note to drag Fernando here the next time they were bored and had too much time on their hands.
Dog, she had the best picture idea. Max longed to stand directly in the middle of the road so she could snap a picture of the stores on each side. The potential image already loomed in her mind… Not that she could actually take it. Though the road really wasn’t that busy, Max found herself sweating at even the thought of all that attention on her. Walking into the middle of the road to take a photo would definitely draw some curious looks.
She settled on snapping a photo from a diagonal angle. Max wanted a reminder on how she felt looking at this street for the first time.
Her critical eye inspected the photo once it developed, her gaze snagging on something she must have missed from her own observations. Max glanced up in search of… Yep! A cool looking music store. It was one of the smaller stores, more like a box, but Max found herself instantly excited. She had been hoping to finally get a vinyl of Syd Matters ‘Someday We Will Foresee Obstacles’ album.
…It was honestly surprising that Max didn’t have one yet. It had been her favorite album since she was a teenager.
A glance at her watch confirmed that she had more than enough time to peruse the store, and she headed over with a slight pep to her step.
✦ ✧ ✦ ✧
The inside of the store was pretty much what Max had envisioned. The walls were made of stone that were once painted a deep blue, now fading and chipped, which worked nicely with the soft gray color of the ground. It had a rustic sort of charm that she liked. Posters of various artists and bands were layered onto the walls, and there was a faint smell of cigarettes lingered in the air. Max’s nose scrunched slightly in distaste.
She quietly made her way through the store, her arm outstretched so her fingers could trail the shelves of CDs and tapes. Max was definitely not cultured when it came to music, too afraid to explore outside her indie bubble, but the vibe of the store was right up her alley. Enough so that she could feel herself relaxing more than she normally did in public places.
Max managed to locate the vinyl section at the back of the store, a small smile on her face. Humming quietly to herself, Max wandered on over. There was no one else in the store so she felt comfortable enough to just browse and take her time.
As her blue eyes scoured the shelves an image popped into her mind. A lamp was switched on in the corner, casting a deep artificial light over everything nearby. The way it highlighted the sharp angles of the shelves while making the dark walls of the store glow could only be described as magical. Max fumbled frantically for the polaroid camera in her bag. Once the camera was out she was careful to position it at her eye level, taking her time to make sure the shot was perfect, before clicking down on the button.
A moment after the familiar snap sounded, a rough (and also kinda familiar) voice drawled out behind her.
“Watch-ya doing?”
It was close enough behind her that it caused Max to flinch forward and bump into a display case. She was lucky not to knock anything off onto the floor.
“U-h… What??” Max stammered, her face flushing a brilliant shade of pink as she turned to face the person behind her.
The amount of effort it took Max to keep her jaw from dropping was obscene. Standing in front of her was, to put it crudely, a drop-dead gorgeous woman. Her short hair was an electric blue that poked out from beneath her beanie, framing an attractive face that was decked with piercings. From what Max could see; a right eyebrow piercing, a septum, an uncountable amount in her ears, and… Dog, snake-bites. Max really had a thing for lip piercings. She couldn’t help her eyes from dropping lower to fully take in the person standing in front of her. A necklace poked out from beneath a black polo shirt. A polo shirt that had the name of the store embroidered on it. Right, she must work here. Max couldn’t help but notice a tattoo that snaked up a nicely muscled right forearm.
Her eyes flicked back up to a now frowning face. There was now a weird gleam of intensity in those bright blue eyes.
Max was instantly self-aware of every aspect of her body, her breathing becoming rapid as she played anxiously with a stray brown lock of hair.
“Um..” Max began, but wasn’t quite sure where to go from there. Then recognition dawned on the woman's face.
“...Max… fucking … Caulfield!”
Her brows furrowed. How did this stranger know her name? Max hadn’t made any friends - yet - in California. She was opening her mouth to stutter an unsure response when it hit her. The woman in front of her was so, so different… but Max recognized the structure of her face. Recognized those light eyebrows that hinted at strawberry blonde roots. There was also a familiarity in the way Max had to slightly tilt her head backwards to meet those eyes that were as blue as the sky on a clear summer’s day.
Chloe had always been so much taller than her.
Max stood there like a complete dork, her mouth hanging right open. Her mind was struggling to comprehend what- no, who, was in front of her. Chloe Price, her childhood best friend, in California. Who was also a very attractive young adult that Max had just been blatantly eyeing up. Max’s heart was beating so rapidly that she thought it might explode. Somehow it was in a good way, though.
After an extremely long pause that was definitely longer than appropriate, Max managed to weakly pull her shit together. “....Chloe?!” Her voice was a combination of utter shock, joy, and wariness.
She didn’t need to be psychic to know that Chloe must hate her after how everything had gone down after her fathers death. Max had been a really, really terrible friend.
The two stood in an intense sort of silence. It grew uncomfortable enough that Max blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.
“Wowsers, you got tall tall! ” Amongst other things.
Max realized exactly what she had said moments later. Her face growing an even darker shade of red, this time out of mortification.
Electric laughter burst from her old friend, who had to clutch at her stomach. “Eight years and you’re still Max-fucking-Caulfield.”
She couldn’t help but sniff indignantly at that, crossing her arms over her stomach.
“No need to get all pouty down there tiger, I just can’t believe you still say wowsers! ”
“I’m still waiting for it to catch on.” Max had meant it as a light-hearted comment to hopefully stir up banter between the two of them as old best friends. It had the opposite effect however, an emotion that Max couldn’t read darkening Chloe’s face.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that not every single thing would change after eight years, huh?”
There it was. The exact sort of bitter comment that Max had been anticipating. Still… It hurt. A lot. Even after all this time Chloe still seemed to know how to hit her where it really hurt. She could feel a knot of tension forming in the center of her spine, as well as a knot of guilt within her stomach. Max had no excuse for how she had treated Chloe. Sure, shit had gone down in her own life, but that was not until a while after she moved to Seattle. She should have been reaching out to Chloe the moment her family had pulled out of Arcadia Bay. Hell, from the moment her family had left the funeral.
…But she just hadn’t . Max couldn’t explain the way that she had felt. The stress she felt when she picked up her phone to text or call her best friend only to realize that she had no idea how to find the right words to talk to her. What the right words even were. It had quickly gotten to the point where it had been way less stressful to not open her messages with Chloe at all. To let their friendship tear apart.
Max wished she could go back in time and change it all.
“...Chloe, I’m sorr-”
“Quit the shit, Caulfield, I don’t want to listen to some bullshit apology. You were happy enough to leave our friendship eight years without a text or call.”
The words were sharp. Max knew that she deserved to hear them. That weathering this anger was the very least she owed to Chloe. So she said nothing, chewing anxiously on the inside of her cheek. Waiting to see what Chloe would do or say next.
Eventually, the other girl seemed to calm. Her fists had unclenched and a more nonchalant expression masked over whatever she was truly feeling.
“Whatever, no point dwelling on something that can’t be changed. Tell me, what is Max Caulfield doing in Cali anyway? Can’t imagine this place being your vibe.”
“O-h.. Ah.. I live here?” Max said, though it sounded more like a question than an answer. Yeah, she did live in California… But she didn’t really have a home here. It didn’t feel like she lived here.
“No shit? Did your ‘rents move up here too?”
“Nope. I moved up here to live with some.. Uh.. friends.” She mumbled, her blue eyes darting anxiously around the store. The whole topic of ‘friendship’ seemed like a taboo topic when it came to Chloe. Sure enough, the taller girl had tensed up again.
“Right.”
There was an awkward pause that lingered between them.
“Sooo, are you going to buy anything or what?”
The abrupt change in conversation made Max dizzy. She supposed they were done catching up, then. Trying to calm the tremble in her hands, Max twisted around and picked out the vinyl she had been eyeing up before. “Just this, please.” She found herself unable to raise her voice above a choked murmur and had to fight the urge to inhale sharply through her nose.
“One vinyl of… ‘Someday We Will Foresee Obstacles’ coming right up. Damn Max, you still listen to this hippie shit?”
Max watched helplessly as Chloe plucked the vinyl out of her hands and strutted away. She took that as her cue to follow, albeit a bit hesitantly. “...Not all of us can be edgy punk stars like you, Chloe.”
“Spot on dude.”
She dug into her bag, searching for her card while Chloe scanned the vinyl. Locating the flimsy card was a relief- but only for the briefest moment. Once Max had the card gripped in her skinny fingers she realized that she had nothing else to put her nervous energy into. That was definitely not a relief.
Especially when Chloe gestured for her to swipe her card and Max realized that this was it. This was her big reunion with her childhood best friend. Once she left the store Max might not speak to Chloe for another eight years.
The realization that she did not want that to happen again was startling. Max wasn’t sure… She wasn’t sure what she wanted, or even what she deserved , but it was more than this.
“Helllooo, earth to Maxine”
Max jerked back to the present, managing a half-hearted glare in Chloe’s direction. “You know I don’t like to be called that.” She responded, hands still shaking as she swiped her card through the machine.
“Exactly.” Chloe said, handing her back the vinyl. “You should be able to fit it in your bag, aye? I remember exactly how much of a shit you would kick up about plastic baggies.”
“Yeah. Thanks.” She responded, slipping the vinyl into her already rotund bag.
Max couldn’t help but hesitate for a few seconds, torn. Her blue eyes searched Chloe’s face, flicking between the smirk on her lips to the bemused glint in her eyes. Realizing that the right words still weren’t going to come to her - Max wanted to curse out her stupid brain - she turned away from her old friend and walked out the door. No farewell, it didn’t seem right.
She lasted a dozen or so steps before stopping. Her heart still thumped wildly in her chest. Max hadn’t realized how much she had missed Chloe’s presence in her life. How she had missed her friend's spirit and love and compassion. Perhaps she was also struggling to come to terms with the fact Chloe was no longer a gangly fourteen year old and now a quite attractive adult who had grown up without her. Max was just really freaking confused.
An idea had formed, however, and she acted on it before she could give herself the chance to chicken out. Max searched through her bag for a photo she had taken earlier of the most vibrant blue butterfly, clutching it tight to her chest. She thought Chloe would like it. Blue was definitely her color.
Turning around sharply, Max hurried back into the music shop. In her haste she burst through the door a little too eagerly, wincing at the sharp bang that sounded as the door slammed shut. It caught Chloe’s attention, at least, who stood alert at the counter.
“...Max?”
Max swallowed the lump in her throat. “Do you have a pen?”
Chloe gave her a look but wordlessly slipped a hand into the pocket of her ripped jeans and handed her a chunky black marker. Trying to ignore the burning in her cheeks, Max scribbled down her number onto the back of the polaroid.
She then straightened up from her hunched position, handing back both the pen and the photo. Before Chloe could make a comment, Max blurted out her explanation in a rush.
“I k-know I’ve been a terrible… shitty, friend.. You have every right to be mad. To n-never want to talk to me again. But- but here is my new number. If you ever want to, n-no matter how far in the distant future, text me.” Once Max had finished she felt like she might feel physically ill. Not wanting to know how Chloe would react, she turned away.
“Bye, Chloe. It was… really nice talking to you again.”
With that Max Caulfield fled from the store like the coward she was, forcing herself to push away all her confusing thoughts and feelings towards Chloe until she got through this interview in one piece.