Chapter Text
“I can’t believe you guys are taking me to a bar when I’m wearing a polo shirt and khakis,” Anne complained.
“I can’t believe you’re not drinking and are still making me be the driver,” Sasha retorted, sober and not enjoying it. “Besides, Anne, you look cute in your uniform.”
Anne flipped Sasha off and gave her a sideways smile. Sasha chuckled. Marcy had flown into town and they and Sasha had whisked Anne away to celebrate her birthday as soon as she’d gotten off work. Anne had already cried once when she saw them and almost did again when she saw their birthday gifts (handmade frog earrings from Mars and a colorful eyeshadow palette from Sasha). She knew how she got when she was drunk. She didn’t need to get any more emotional than she already was.
“Wowwww Sasha, we just got here and you’re already flirting with Anne,” Marcy said tipsily.
“Oh my god Marcy we got here, like, twenty minutes ago. How are you already drunk?” Sasha said indignantly.
“Oh come on Sash, we already knew they were a lightweight,” Anne replied teasingly, bumping her shoulder against Sasha’s.
“Hey, Sasha,” Marcy said, pointing their finger at Sasha, “you still dating that one guy? He was even more of a lightweight than me.”
“Ugh, no, he was a jerk. He saw me reading your webcomic and started complaining about how childish comics were and acting like they were a waste of time, so I dumped him.”
“Awww, Sashy, do you love me that much?”
“You know it, babe,” Sasha replied with a wink. Marcy whistled.
“I’m pretty sure 13 year-old me would’ve actually died if they'd heard you say that,” Marcy said, gesturing with their straw in the air. “I don’t know which was more embarrassing, my crush on Sasha or Sasha’s crush on Anne.”
“What,” Sasha said.
“What?” Anne exclaimed
“You knew?” Sasha said incredulously.
“Her what?” Anne said at the same time.
“Wait, Mars, you had a crush on me?” Sasha said with a devilish grin.
“Duh!” Marcy replied. “Every young lesbian gets a crush on at least one of their best friends. It’s, like, a rite of passage.”
“Aw, Mars, that’s so cute. Sucks for you, though, Anne, guess you missed out on that milestone. At least, as far as we know,” Sasha said with a smirk.
“Hang on! Can we circle back to Sasha liking me?” Anne said. She saw Sasha turn slightly red in the dim light.
“Oh, Sasha liked you forever,” Marcy said, waving their hand. “I figured it out a couple months before Anne’s thirteenth birthday.” Sasha furrowed her brow.
“Marcy how the fuck did you figure it out that early? I didn’t even figure out I liked Anne until months after we ended up in Amphibia.”
“Oh, it was simple! You two were exactly like Laurel and Durioth in the third installment War of the Warlocks. There’s this fight scene between them that you guys practically reenacted one time where…” they trailed off, watching Sasha and Anne smile and giggle at them. Sasha threw her arm around Marcy’s shoulders and gave them a squeeze.
“Classic Mars, being a cute little nerd,” Sasha said, lightly bopping Marcy’s nose with her finger. “How did it take us so long to figure out that you’re autistic?”
“Haha. Me and the bad bitch I pulled by being autistic,” Marcy replied, their words running together.
“Marcy, I have no idea what that means.”
“Hold up,” Anne cut across, “How did I not realize any of this? I was, like, the romance queen back in middle school.” Sasha and Marcy eyed each other and burst out laughing.
“No offense Anne, but reading a bunch of teen magazines in middle school definitely didn’t make you a romance expert,” Sasha laughed.
“Didn’t it take you until you were almost fourteen to realize liking girls was even an option?” Marcy asked with a smirk.
“LOOK-” Anne started as Sasha and Marcy continued laughing. “How was I supposed to know Sasha liked me if she never had the guts to ask me out, huh?”
“Ooohhh,” Mars taunted as Sasha scowled.
“I just didn’t think you were interested,” Sasha said haughtily.
“Mhm, sure,” Anne replied, unconvinced. “And you’re completely unphased about Mars liking you?”
“Oh c’mon, we already knew they were gay as fuck.”
“Haha, that’s true,” Marcy replied, raising their glass in the air and taking another sip.
“So wait Sasha, the guy you just dumped, was that…Chris?” Anne asked.
“Ha, no, I broke up with Chris months ago. I’ve tried going out with, like, three people since him.”
“Jeez, how do you meet so many people?”
“Dating apps mostly,” Sasha said with a shrug. “Sometimes I meet people at gay bars and shit.”
“Hm.”
“What, still not a fan of dating apps?” Sasha teased, bumping Anne lightly with her shoulder.
“Nah, not really my thing,” Anne admitted. She had tried them a handful of times but always ended up deleting them pretty quickly. She didn’t understand how people could figure out if they were interested in someone from just a few photos and a cheesy description. Feelings had always seemed to come slower for her than they did for other people.
“You date anyone since Juneau back in college?” Sasha asked.
“Nope, she was the only one. Guess I’m not as good at meeting people as you are.”
“Ah, don’t worry about it Boonchuy, anyone would be lucky to date you. Mars, are you and Fern still dating?”
“Hah! No. They broke up with me. They kept getting annoyed about how ‘unmotivated’ I was just because I was making my webcomic instead of using my degree,” Marcy replied, sipping more of their drink dejectedly.
“That’s bullshit!” Sasha replied angrily. “Your parents pressured you into going to college and you still managed to work your ass off and get a degree in five fucking semesters. You deserve a chance to do something that actually makes you happy. What’s their problem?”
“Eh, it doesn’t matter, we’re not together anymore anyways.”
“I know you didn’t really want to go, but I’m still jealous you managed to get a full ride to school,” Anne said.
“Oh you’re one to talk! Didn’t you convince that fruity government dude to cancel your student loans? You didn’t even ask him to cancel mine as well!” Sasha retorted.
“Uhh, ‘fruity government dude’? Do you mean Mr. X? I didn’t ask, he just did that on his own! Plus I’m pretty sure it was, like, illegal.”
“C’mon, I helped save the world too! Feels like the least the government could have done to thank me.”
“I think their idea of ‘thanks’ was not arresting us for all the property damage our fight caused. Look on the brightside, at least you managed to finish your undergrad and masters in four and a half years! I barely got through just undergrad in four years,” Anne replied with a sigh.
“Perk of not being in STEM, babe! At least some of my professors gave a shit about their students.”
“Is it weird that part of me misses it?” Marcy asked hesitantly. Anne and Sasha turned to them. Mentioning their problems with their ex seemed to have changed their mood entirely.
“Why would it be weird?” Anne asked. Marcy exchanged a glance with Sasha.
“I mean…you know how college went for me. Went because my parents wanted me to without really knowing what I wanted. Kinda just got in and out as fast as I could and spent most of the time hating myself. I never really had fun because I was working so much. But I also really loved doing research and learning so many cool things…” Mars said, trailing off.
“Would you ever want to…I don’t know, go back for grad school?” Anne asked.
“I’m not sure yet…” Mars said, wrapping their hands anxiously around their glass. “I’d liketo do more research, but I’m afraid the pressure will get to me again. I love making my webcomic and being able to work at my own pace, but I don’t know if it’s what I want to do forever.”
They trailed off again, staring into their glass with a frown. Anne put a hand on their shoulder and they started.
“Ah, sorry, I’m bringing the mood down, aren’t I?” Marcy said.
“No way!” Anne replied.
“Yeah, kinda,” Sasha said at the same time. Anne shot her an angry look.
“What?! You want me to lie to them?” Sasha shot back. Marcy gave a small laugh. Anne rolled her eyes as Sasha gave her a triumphant look. Anne was still surprised by how their dynamics had changed. When they actually ended up hanging out, she and Sasha still always managed to get on each other’s nerves, but it seemed like Mars and Sasha could never be mad at each other. She wasn’t sure how that made her feel.
“Well, I work tomorrow morning. You guys cool with calling it a night?” Anne asked.
“Works for me. Pretty sure Mars is gonna fall asleep at the table if we stay any longer,” Sasha replied with a grin. Anne laughed.
“Hey!” Marcy protested. “I could keep going the rest of the night if I wanted to!”
The three of them stood and made their way towards the exit. Marcy made it one step before tripping over nothing. Sasha grabbed them and placed Marcy’s arm around her own shoulder before they could fall on the floor.
“C’mon, Mars, let’s get you back to my place,” Sasha said. Marcy whistled.
“Ooohhh, back to your place, huh?” Marcy teased. Sasha met Anne’s eyes and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Anne rolled her eyes and smiled as Sasha wrapped her other arm around Anne’s shoulders as the three of them walked into the night.
Chapter 2: retrospection
Summary:
While driving home from the bar, Anne and Sasha discuss how their relationship evolved post-Amphibia.
Chapter Text
Sasha had only been driving for one minute before Marcy fell asleep in the backseat. He and Anne had been sitting silently side by side for the past five minutes. Sasha wanted to break the silence, but he was hesitant. Despite living in the same city, he and Anne didn’t see much of each other. They’d text and meet up every few weeks, but there seemed to be some kind of wall between them that he couldn’t figure out. He wasn’t sure where their relationship was at.
“So…” Sasha started, “it’s been a little while.”
Anne glanced over at him.
“Yeah…”
“I’ve…missed you. More than just lately.”
“You have?” Anne asked, sounding surprised.
“Of course I have,” Sasha said earnestly. “I know you needed space after Amphibia and I was fine giving it to you, but I never stopped wanting to spend time around you.”
Anne was silent for a moment and Sasha was afraid he’d said too much.
“I’ve missed you too, Sash,” Anne finally replied. “It’s just…I don’t know. There’s a lot to say about all of it. I’ve been wrestling with some of this stuff for ten years and still haven’t figured out how I feel about it.”
“Well, we have time,” Sasha said with a small smile. “If you’re up for talking about it, that is.”
Anne took a deep breath.
“Okay, so. I know I’ve never really talked much about what happened after I…died.”
“Yeah…”
“I don’t think I’m ready to yet. It changed my outlook on a lot of things. But between that and leaving the Plantars forever, those first few months back were…hard.”
Hard was an understatement. When they got back, they found out that Marcy’s parents had moved despite them being missing. Marcy’s grandparents still lived in LA, so the Wu’s had figured they would be around in case Marcy turned up. Since Marcy’s grandparents always gave them a hard time, Anne’s parents had let Marcy stay with them for a few weeks. Sasha technically went back to his parents, but spending nearly a year away from home and starting to figure himself out had made his parents even harder to be around. Sasha, Marcy, and Anne spent almost all their time with one another during those first weeks back.
During those weeks, they barely talked to anyone. Anne would talk quietly with her parents on occasion. Marcy hardly said a word. Sasha desperately wanted to speak, but could never find the right words to say, so he was mostly silent. It was the first chance any of them had to properly process what had happened in Amphibia and what they had lost. None of them knew how to talk about what happened, but they also couldn’t stand to be apart from one another. Sasha had always felt terrified of losing them forever if they spent more than a few hours apart. He’d had a hard time adjusting to the idea that they were all safe and that he didn’t need to fight and be strong anymore.
The day Marcy moved away, none of them said a word to each other. They had just clung to each other for a long time, nobody wanting to be the first to let go. When Anne finally broke the hug, it took everything in Sasha’s power to keep from sobbing. He’d never felt more lost than that day.
After Marcy moved, Anne withdrew completely. Sasha didn’t see her for over a month after Marcy left. It was weeks after that before they spoke. School started and all of their interactions were few and far between. Anne was different than Sasha had remembered, quiet and reserved instead of goofy and outgoing. At least, that’s how she was around Sasha. He’d seen Anne slowly start to act like her old stuff around other people at school and make new friends, but she was always withdrawn around Sasha. It had hurt more than he knew how to deal with. It took nearly a year before he and Anne were able to act somewhat normal around each other. They slowly began hanging out and talking more, but it had always felt like there was a limit to their closeness. They would talk more, hang out more, and then suddenly they’d hit some invisible barrier and Anne would pull back a bit. They were still friends, but they had never gotten back to the level they were at during the frog rebellion. The days when Sasha had fallen indelibly in love with her. Sasha had already accepted this for the most part years ago, but…
“When we were all living together at my parent’s house,” Anne started, “I just felt so stuck. After saying goodbye to the Plantars, I was scared to be apart from you guys, but I also felt like I was just living the same day over and over. Nothing was changing. I wasn’t processing anything that happened, I was just…existing. But I was too scared and overwhelmed to do anything about it.
“When Marcy left, something in me just kinda shifted. Things were still changing around me and even if it terrified me, I had to do something more than just exist. I started talking to my parents a bit more and it helped, but I couldn’t stand to think about Amphibia. It just hurt too much. So at first I just tried to avoid anything that reminded me of it.”
“Is…is that why you stopped talking to me?” Sasha asked tentatively. Anne looked up at him sadly.
“Sash, I- I’m sorry. I know that wasn’t fair to you. Being around new people finally made me feel like I could move on from Amphibia. Every time I was around you, I started getting dragged back into all the doubt I’d felt about leaving the Plantars behind. So I just…avoided it. Distracted myself by surrounding myself with new people. I know it wasn’t healthy or fair to you, but it felt like the only way to survive at first,” Anne said. Sasha glanced over at her and saw tears in Anne’s eyes.
“I mean, I won’t lie. It really hurt to suddenly be so distant from you after we got back, but…I get why you did it,” Sasha admitted. “Did it…did it make things easier?”
“Kind of? At first I was just throwing myself into any new relationships I could just to distract myself, but I eventually met people I actually liked being around and started to relax a bit. It took awhile, but I at least managed to sort of make peace with choosing Earth over Amphibia.”
“Well, I’m…glad you were able to find new people,” Sasha said vaguely, trying to keep his bitterness out of his voice. Despite his best efforts, he felt some of the old resentment he thought he’d worked through bubbling to the surface. He thought of those first months back on Earth, to when they started high school. Anne had found new friends quickly and it seemed like she’d actually cared about them. Sasha hadn’t. He’d surrounded himself with plenty of people freshman and sophomore year, but he’d never actually felt close to any of them. They only got to see one side of him, the side that was strong, confident, and in control. He’d shown Anne all the sides to himself and then he lost her. He hadn’t been in a rush to make that mistake again.
They pulled up to Anne’s building in tense silence. Sasha shifted into park, avoiding looking at Anne. He started as Anne placed a hand on his arm.
“Sasha,” Anne said. Sasha forced himself to face her.
“I never wanted to stop being your friend. I am so sorry I left you behind. I got so caught up in my grief that I didn’t consider what I might’ve been doing to you,” Anne said, gripping Sasha’s arm intently. “I never stopped caring about you and I’ve been wanting to properly reconnect with you ever since senior year of high school, I just…felt like I’d burned that bridge. I felt bad trying to run back to you right when we were supposed to go to college and branch out. I didn’t want to hold you back.”
Sasha met Anne’s eyes and felt his heart warm. Yeah, the start of high school had sucked, but eventually he also started meeting new people, even if he was slower at it than Anne. It had helped him move on in ways that he probably couldn’t have if had just stuck with Anne. He placed a hand over Anne’s and gave it a quick squeeze.
“Anne…it’s okay. We were dealing with a lot back then. No matter what we would’ve done, someone would’ve probably been hurt. I’m just glad you started doing better. And…I’m glad you always still cared. I know I did.”
Anne’s eyes softened as she smiled gratefully at Sasha. He felt that old familiar ache in his chest start to surface again.
“Do you think we could start hanging out again more? Like, even after Marcy goes back to the east coast? I mean, we live in the same city. I want to see you more than just once every couple months,” Anne asked tentatively. Sasha’s chest grew warmer. He reached out and took Anne’s hand. Their fingers intertwined.
“I’d really like that,” Sasha replied with a smile.
“You’re okay with trying to start again, just like that?” Anne asked.
“Of course I am. I’ll always want to be in your life, Boonchuy.”
Anne’s smile broadened. They stared at each other for a moment, hands still intertwined. The air around them felt heavy. Sasha’s heart beat just a little faster in his chest. Anne gave his hand a squeeze, then released it and climbed out of the car.
“Night, Sasha,” Anne said, giving a small wave and turning to walk into her building. Sasha stared at her back, unsure of what might have passed between them in the moment before Anne left the car.
“Ha, stare much?” Mars teased sleepily from the back seat as the apartment door closed behind Anne.
“Jesus, Mars, I thought you were asleep,” Sasha replied.
“Haha, nopeeeee. I saw you looking at Anne all gay and shit,” Mars said, their words running together.
“Shut the fuck up, Mars,” Sasha said, starting the car up again to take them back to his apartment.
Chapter Text
“Ugh, finally!” Sasha exclaimed, knocking back the shot of vodka he’d poured as soon as they’d gotten back to his place.
“Why are you drinking? We literally just got back from the bar,” Marcy said indignantly. They had woken up a bit after dropping Anne off.
“C’mon, Mars, I don’t work tomorrow! I want to have a bit more fun tonight,” Sasha replied. “I’m gonna get changed, so only look if you want to.”
Mars rolled their eyes and looked away as Sasha put new clothes on. His apartment was a cramped studio that was decorated as plainly as possible. The only piece of decoration was an old photo stuck to the wall above Sasha’s bed. It had been taken years ago by Mr. Boonchuy, just a few days before Mars had moved to the east coast. Anne, Sasha, and Mars had all fallen asleep on the couch. Anne and Mars had leaned against either side of Sasha and his arms were wrapped around both of them.
“Like the photo?” Sasha said, walking over and sitting next to Marcy on the bed. “Last time Anne was over here she complained about the lack of decoration, so I stuck this up.”
“Is one photo seriously your idea of decorating?” Marcy replied, thinking of the dozen posters on the walls of their own apartment.
“Look, Mars, I prefer to spend money on decorating myself instead of my apartment,” Sasha said, stretching out his arms to show off his tattoos. Marcy’s eyes widened and they grabbed Sasha’s arm excitedly.
“Woahhh, Sash, you’ve got way more than last time I saw you!” Marcy said, twisting Sasha’s arms around to look at them all. Sasha laughed as Marcy inspected all his tattoos. His right arm had two Amphibia herons done in traditional style in bright red-orange, teal, and black. Just below the crook of his right elbow were three diamonds, also trad, in pink, blue, and green. His left arm had Grime’s old blind eye symbol in solid black on his upper arm. Directly below it was one of his heron swords, interwoven with what looked like forget-me-not flowers. His left forearm had two intertwined olms. One his left thigh was another blind eye symbol, this one larger and filled with a variety of different flowers. His right thigh had his weirdest tattoo. It was a trad toad, but its eyes looked suspiciously like Grimes’s and it was wrapped in a banner that read “DAD”.
“Wait, there’s one more,” Sasha said excitedly, turning his back to Mars. He grabbed the neck of his shirt and pulled it off, revealing a huge tattoo on his back. This was another heron, but this one was an Earth heron done in intricate black lines with gray shading. All it had were wings, a head, and a tail. Its body was the massive scar down Sasha’s back. Instead of hiding the scar, though, the tattoo accentuated it, making the scar impossible to miss or mistake.
“Jeez, Sasha, I know we’ve been friends for years, but you can’t just take your shirt off in front of me!” Marcy said, their face warm.
“Dude what’s the problem,” Sasha replied, turning back to face Mars. They gave a small shout and covered their eyes.
“Sasha! That’s a bit much even for you,” they protested, face burning.
“Mars. I got top surgery, like, five months ago.” Mars opened their eyes. Sasha’s chest was flat, scars still clearly visible on his chest.
“Oh. Right,” Mars replied, feeling their face go back to normal.
“Haha, you were sooo red,” Sasha teased.
“This may come as a shock to you, Sasha, but I don’t really want to see my friends half-naked,” Mars replied in a deadpan.
“What’s to not want to see?” Sasha said, trying and failing to look casual while flexing. He really did look good, but Mars was wise enough to his games to not look impressed, even if they thought he was hot.
“Pretty good I guess,” Mars replied casually, raising their eyebrows.
“Only pretty good?” Sasha said, feigning disappointment.
“I’m sorry, I mean ‘wow Sasha, you are so cool and sexy and hot’,” Marcy replied in a montone.
“That’s more like it. Do you have any tattoos yet?” Sasha said. Marcy perked up.
“Yes! I got one on my thigh just a few months ago, let me show-” Marcy started, realizing they were wearing jeans that they couldn’t roll up high enough.
“No, no, good ahead Mars, I don’t mind,” Sasha said playfully, implying Marcy should take off their jeans in order to show off their tattoo.
“Ugh, c’mon Sasha,” Marcy replied, realizing what Sasha was insinuating. They grabbed their bag and went into the bathroom. Mars emerged a minute later wearing shorts and a tank top, their fresh tattoo clearly visible. It was a green D20 with an olm coiling around it.
“Woah, Marcy, that looks awesome!” Sasha exclaimed. “But why the olm?”
“I was part of a prophecy issued by an olm, Sasha! There’s no way I ever want to forget that.”
“Cool location for it, too. Makes it easy to hide,” Sasha said.
“Hide?” Marcy said, confused. “Why would I need to hide it?”
“Ugh, right, your job doesn’t exactly require a ‘professional appearance’, does it?,” Sasha replied.
“Do you have to hide your tattoos at work?”
“I have to hide my tattoos, take out every piercing besides the earlobe, wear my hair down so my undercut isn’t visible, and I’m ‘strongly encouraged’ to dress femininely and only use she/her pronouns!” Sasha exclaimed angrily.
“What? Why?!”
“They want me to ‘maintain a respectable appearance’ to ‘reassure’ the kids’ parents and keep a ‘consistent and easily understable presentation’ so kids don’t get ‘confused and distracted’,” Sasha said bitterly. “Like, I don’t mind presenting femininely most of the time, but the fact that my normal self is considered so unprofessional really pisses me off. It’s not even the fault of the practice I work out of, honestly. Some parents wouldn’t let their kids see me if they clocked me as anything other than cis straight woman. If I can keep myself under wraps and help out a queer kid whose parents might not accept them, it kinda makes it worth it.”
“Woah…” Marcy said. Sasha winced.
“Ugh, sorry, Mars, I shouldn't have just dumped that huge rant on you out of nowhere. I love my job, I just get kinda pissed when I remember that not everybody has a job where they have to look ‘professional’.”
“Mhm,” Mars said quietly. They didn’t think Sasha had meant anything negative against them, but it still managed to bring up the doubts that were always playing in their head. How they weren’t using their degree, how they didn’t have a “real job”, how they didn’t have much of a plan for their future. Sasha looked at the downtrodden expression on Mars’s face.
“Hey, Mars are you okay? Here, let me grab you some water, I haven’t seen you drink anything but alcohol all night,” Sasha said, standing and walking to the kitchen. As he went, Mars stared at the scar on his back. It was the first time they’d seen it in its entirety, boldly highlighted by the tattoo around it. They grabbed the bed, twisting the sheets in their fingers anxiously and rocking back and forth slightly. They felt that familiar guilty feeling start to creep up on them. Sasha returned with a glass of water and sat down next to Mars again, looking concerned.
“Why’d you get your tattoo done like that?” Mars asked quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“It…it doesn’t hide your scar,” Marcy replied.
“Of course it doesn’t. I’m proud of my scars. They remind me of the things I’ve had to go through to get where I am today.”
“Things like…me hurting you?” Marcy whispered, looking down and continuing to rock.
“Marcy. Look at me,” Sasha said sternly. Marcy looked up. Sasha was one of the only people they could handle eye contact with.
“You didn’t give me this scar. You were manipulated and possessed and tortured. That was not your fault, okay? I’m proud of my scars because they remind me of the people I love and the people that are worth fighting for,” Sasha said. He reached a hand up to cup Marcy’s face and ran his thumb over the scar on their face. “If anyone should be sorry about leaving a scar, it’s me, okay?”
Mars gave a small laugh and leaned into Sasha’s hand. They held each other’s gaze for a second before Mars moved forward. They wrapped their arms around Sasha and nestled their head into his chest. They felt Sasha’s arms move around them and hold them tight. As they held one another, Marcy felt themself start to relax and start to get all the doubting voices in their head under control.
“Sash?” Marcy asked hesitantly, their voice muffled, “can we…just stay like this tonight?”
“Uh, yeah, of course we can, Mars,” Sasha said, slightly surprised. The two shifted until they were lying on Sasha’s bed, Marcy still wrapped in his arms. Within minutes, Marcy fell into their first peaceful sleep in days. They were too tired to notice that Sasha stayed awake for a long time, lost in thought.
Notes:
here's a link to two of the tattoos i designed for sasha, i'll hopefully be posting the rest of the flash sheet that i designed around sasha soon :) https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/fin-cae/689966829750403072?source=share
Chapter 4: drag night
Summary:
Anne, Sasha, and Marcy go out to a gay bar for drag night and things between Anne and Sasha take a turn.
Chapter Text
If Anne was being honest with herself, she was having a really hard time not staring at Sasha and Marcy. It was drag night at Sasha’s favorite bar and he had made Anne and Marcy come with the specific instructions to dress “as gay as possible”. They were certainly rising to that challenge.
Sasha was wearing a light pink short sleeve button down patterned with large skulls and flowers in black and white. His shirt was tucked into black jeans and he had left the shirt unbuttoned enough to show off his top surgery scars. His hair was tied up to show off his undercut and he had on sword earrings and a nose ring.
Marcy had on a light green t-shirt tucked into a pair of jean shorts. They were wearing an oversized floral-patterned green button down and a pair of black Docs to try and make up for how short they were.
Anne had opted for something a bit different than they had. She had a black halter crop that tied around her neck and middle back, leaving most of her back exposed. She wore high rise jean shorts and converse with her hair tied back to show off the frog earrings Mars had given her. She’d even broken out the eyeshadow Sasha had gifted her and had painted her eyes with a sparkly blue.
The three of them were standing near the edge of the room. Anne was dancing slightly in place while she sipped her drink. She and Sasha were listening to Marcy excitedly describe their plans for the next few chapters of their webcomic. They kept accidentally saying spoilers without even realizing. Every time they did, Anne saw Sasha smile at Mars fondly as they plowed on, oblivious. After a particularly big spoiler, Anne caught Sasha’s eye and they both laughed.
“Wait, what’s so funny?” Mars said, breaking out of their long-winded explanation.
“We’re just really excited to read the next chapter, Mars,” Anne said, winking at Sasha.
“Yeah, they sound awesome,” Sasha said. Marcy beamed at them.
“Aw, thanks, you guys. Sorry if I talked your ears off about it, I get really talkative when I drink, haha.”
“Well I’m just glad you’re having a good time,” Sasha replied. Something caught his eye on the other side of the bar. “Holy shit, I think that’s my ex, Robin! I haven’t seen them in months, I’m gonna go talk to them.”
Anne felt the smallest twinge of irritation as Sasha ran off before mentally chastising herself. There was nothing wrong with Sasha having a lot of exes or being on good terms with some of them.
“Damn, imagine being able to just hang out with your ex like that,” Anne said to Marcy as they watched Sasha and Robin hug and Robin start introducing Sasha to the other people in their group.
“He’s better at being a stereotypical lesbian than we are and he isn’t even a lesbian,” Marcy replied indignantly. “At least I had an embarrassing middle school crush on one of my friends. You’ve barely hit any of the stereotypes!”
“Well…” Anne started. Mars turned and stared at her with wide eyes.
“Oh my god, wait. Did you have a crush on Sasha too?” Marcy said. Anne laughed.
“Honestly, Mars, I still have no idea if I did or not,” Anne said. She had started to feel something towards Sasha when they were leading the rebellion, but she never had much time to dwell on it. When she finally had time to process her emotions, everything had just been so complicated. She had needed distance from Sasha and Marcy to deal with things properly, but that meant she never got a chance to figure out exactly what was going on between her and Sasha back then. By the time they started reconnecting, Anne felt like it was too late to go over their past. Anne looked at Marcy, who was staring at her with rapt interest, and felt herself turn slightly red.
“I was, uh, actually talking about you,” Anne said embarrassedly.
“What?!” Marcy exclaimed. “When was this?!”
“I guess it started back before we went to Amphibia? I don’t know, you were just really cute and always felt safe to be around? I didn’t even figure out that it was a crush until way later, anyways.”
“You couldn’t tell that it was a crush?”
“Not really? It’s always been kinda hard for me to figure out the difference between having a crush on someone and just, like, really enjoying being their friend. I mean, Juneau and I were friends for months before she asked me out. I hadn’t even considered that I might be into her like that until she did! Like, could you actually fall for someone without being friends with them first?”
“Anne. I see a hot woman and instantly fall in love with her,” Marcy replied. Anne laughed and bumped her shoulder against theirs, making Marcy laugh.
“Oh yeah? Fall in love with anyone here yet?” Anne teased.
“Don’t worry Anne, you’re definitely the hottest person here tonight, no competition.”
They both fell silent as they processed what Mars had said. Anne was still figuring out if she should read into Marcy’s compliment when Sasha walked back over to them.
“Oh wow hey Sasha what’s up!” Marcy exclaimed, trying to move past the comment they had just made.
“Mars, you’re not gonna believe it! Robin’s got a new partner and he’s, like, super into your webcomic! He had a pin of the logo on his jacket,” Sasha said excitedly. Marcy looked around eagerly.
“Oh my god, who?!” they asked. Sasha pointed.
“The short guy over there with the twists. Green shirt.”
“Oooh, I’m definitely going to say hi!” Mars said, running off. Sasha put a hand on Anne’s shoulder and leaned towards her so he could be heard better over the music.
“I’m gonna grab us some more drinks, okay?” he said. He returned a minute later holding two shots and handed one to Anne. He held his shot up.
“Cheers, Boonchuy,” he said before knocking it back. Anne drank hers as well. The music was playing loudly around them. A Harry Styles song was on. Anne leaned towards Sasha.
“Want to go dance?” she asked.
“Let’s go, babe,” Sasha replied, smiling. They left their empty glasses on a table and Anne grabbed Sasha’s hand, pulling him out to the center of the bar. She let go of his hand and raised her arms, dancing along to the music. Dancing was one of the things she always felt confident about. Anne loved to let loose and get lost in the music. She glanced at Sasha and laughed slightly. For as confident as he acted, he was still pretty awkward when he danced. He wasn’t terrible, but he wasn’t great either. Anne grabbed his hand again.
“C’mon, Sash, lighten up!” Anne teased while raising his hand up in the air. Sasha rolled his eyes with a smile and started dancing more.
Step into the light/So bright sometimes/I’m not ever going back.
They were both getting more into it now. Anne felt that last shot start to kick in. Her head felt lighter and her surroundings became less focused as she kept dancing. She danced as close as she could to Sasha without them touching, her hands and hips coming close to his but never quite making contact. She knew how Sasha could make her act. She had to be careful.
All the lights couldn’t put out the dark/running through my heart/Lights up and they know who you are/Do you know who you are?
The faces around her continued to blur as the song changed and the beat began building up again. Anne looked into Sasha’s eyes and felt the same heaviness between them that she’d felt the night of her birthday.
So give me all of your love/Give me something to dream about.
Anne felt herself moving infinitesimally closer to Sasha in spite of herself. Their hands brushed against one another, their hips bumps, and suddenly Anne found herself not caring what happened next. She felt Sasha’s hand lightly touch her back, bringing her in closer as he traced the bare skin along her spine. She brought a hand to his chest and let it linger too long, drifting her touch slowly down his side and to his hip.
Living in a daydream/Give me all of your love/Give me something to dream about.
They were dancing very close now, their faces inches apart, Anne’s tilted up slightly to meet Sasha’s eyes. She was definitely too drunk, she wasn’t thinking straight, but something in his eyes kept drawing Anne in. She heard the song fading out to a few piano notes in the background as she slowly reached up and traced a finger across the scar on Sasha’s cheek. She saw his eyes widen slightly.
“Hello friends! Are we having a good night tonight?” a voice boomed across the crowd. Anne leapt back in surprise and saw that a drag queen had walked out onto the stage behind her. The surprise had grounded her slightly and she flushed thinking how close she and Sasha had come to…well. She didn’t want to think about what might’ve happened next. She definitely didn’t want to think about who had instigated that situation. The crowd around her started to gather around the stage and cheer and Anne hastened to join in.
Mars found the two of them in the crowd and Anne overheard them eagerly talking to Sasha about how cool the guy they had just met was. Anne smiled to herself over Mars’s excitement but kept her gaze on the stage, determined to avoid Sasha’s gaze for the time being. She was scared of how easily she’d abandoned her own boundaries while they were dancing.
“We have a wonderful night of drag planned for you folks! I am so pleased to welcome to the stage the sweetest queen in all of L.A., Miss Peachy Queen!” the emcee called across the crowd. Out strode a queen dressed in bright oranges and golds as Anne and the crowd cheered.
Anne yelled along with the crowd through all the different queens that performed, keeping her focus staunchly on the show and away from Sasha. She slowly crept forward through the crowd so that she could tip some of the performers and keep more distance from Sasha. She felt a bit bad for suddenly avoiding Sasha like that, but she had already gotten too close to him once tonight. She couldn’t do it again.
“Alright, friends, we have one last queen for you tonight!” the emcee called out. They had already watched three queens and two kings and Anne’s voice was getting hoarse from cheering. “Introducing the most out of this world queen you folks have ever seen…Extrana Terrestrial!”
Anne gasped as none other than Mr. X strutted onstage. She was dressed in flashy silver thigh-high boots with a matching silver leotard. Her makeup was full of shimmery blues and grays and her hair was twisted into elaborate spires sticking out of her head. In her excitement, Anne turned to face Sasha and Marcy for the first time since the show started.
“Holy shit,” Sasha said. “Is that…?”
“Sureee is,” Anne said with a smile. Mars looked between them, confused.
“You two know her?” Marcy asked. Anne put an arm around their shoulder and stretched out her other arm dramatically.
“That, my friend, is none other than Mr. X, the FBI agent that helped us fight Andrias.”
“And the person that managed to get Anne’s loans canceled,” Sasha added with a smirk. Anne made a shushing gesture at him and the three of them turned to watch her performance. She was incredible. Anne was cheering the entire time, not even caring if she lost her voice.
As she neared the end of her performance, all the other performers from the night joined her on stage and then started making their way into the audience. Everyone started dancing alongside the queens. Anne joined in when suddenly Mr. X came up to her. She playfully trailed a hand down Anne’s arm and she snaked her body down into a crouch in front of Anne. She gave Anne a wink and then sprang up again to continue dancing through the crowd.
Anne turned to face Mars and Sasha and saw Mars dancing with one of the drag kings as Sasha watched with a fond smile on his face. Anne walked up to him and started to laugh as she watched Marcy dance.
“They’re, like, adorably terrible at dancing,” Anne said with a grin.
“So fucking cute,” Sasha agreed with a small sigh. They both gave each other a side-eye glance before quickly turning back to watch Marcy dance, their cheeks slightly red.
Chapter 5: nightmares
Chapter Text
Sasha and Marcy were riding the bus back from drag night and Marcy could hardly keep their eyes open. They were trying to pay attention to what Sasha was saying, but they were exhausted from spending so much time in a loud, crowded bar.
As soon as Anne had gotten off the bus, Sasha had broken into a disjointed speech about what had gone down between her and Anne that night. Mars was too tired to follow most of it. They had seen Anne and Sasha dancing together and yeah. It had been a lot, especially for two people that were supposed to just be friends. Mars knew it wasn’t entirely fair of them, but they had felt jealous seeing the two of them be so visibly flirtatious with one another. Flirting out loud was one thing- they and Sasha did that all the time. That was easy to write off. But Anne and Sasha’s dancing? They weren’t sure. They were too tired to think straight.
They distantly heard Sasha complaining about how she and Anne had just been dancing and how Anne proceeded to avoid Sasha for the entirety of the show and how she was sending Sasha “mixed signals”, but Sasha was too drunk and Marcy was too tired to make much sense of what was going on.
“Sasha. I’m gonna be real with you. I’m too tired to process any of what you’re saying right now,” Mars said sleepily.
“C’mon, Mars, if you fall asleep on the bus, I’ll have to carry you up to the apartment,” Sasha teased.
“Hmmmm. Sounds nice,” Marcy yawned, resting their head on Sasha’s shoulder. When they got to their stop, Sasha had to half drag them up the stairs as they sleepily dragged their feet. Once inside, they barely managed to kick off their shoes and change into a different pair of shorts before collapsing onto Sasha’s bed. At first, they’d felt bad that Sasha insisted on taking the couch while Marcy slept in her bed, but right now they were grateful.
They fell asleep almost instantly, but sleep didn’t bring the relief they were hoping for. They were instantly plunged into hazy memories that didn’t belong to them. Their limbs moved of their own accord, dragging Mars helplessly through scenarios that they couldn’t remember living through. They were sprawled across a throne and tossing a twenty-sided die to themself, they were maliciously taunting Andrias from the shadows, they were lording over the defeated rebels from the castle high in the air. They were threatening Anne at knifepoint, relishing in the chance to kill her. They were slicing Sasha open with their scythe, grinning vindictively at the blood dripping down her back. They were laughing cruelly as they commandeered their robot army, easily killing multiple humans with just a press of a button. They watched helplessly as a tank exploded on the street. Marcy was mercilessly dragged through these memories, feeling themself inflict pain and suffering, powerless to do anything to stop themself.
Marcy’s own laughter rang in their ears as they were pulled through recollections faster and faster until everything became a dizzying swirl of orange and red. They felt a thrill of fear dance through their chest as a grating voice rang across the whorling colors.
All these people you’ve hurt because you didn’t know how to live in the real world, Aldrich's voice resonated. And look at you now. Still uncertain of how to live in real life. Still drowning in the guilt of those you hurt. Pathetic.
The pain in Marcy’s chest spiked and they shot awake, clutching their chest. They were wracked with anxiety so hot and painful in their chest that they felt as though another sword had been plunged through their back. They rocked back and forth in bed, their heart pounding, barely able to think as the darkness pressed painfully in on them. They were soaked in sweat and felt suffocated by the heat of the blankets around them. They threw them off and stood, their entire body weak and shaking. Mars stumbled blindly towards Sasha’s couch in the darkness, desperate for any kind of human contact to help them escape the terror that was gripping them.
Sasha was sprawled face-down on the couch wearing only a pair of basketball shorts. Her back scar was only just visible in the dim moonlight. Mars took a shaky breath and felt another wave of anxiety wash over them. They took another breath and reached a trembling hand out to Sasha’s shoulder to wake her up. Sasha rolled to her side, blinking blearily.
“Mars?’ she whispered hoarsely. Marcy hugged their arms to their chest and shuddered slightly, struggling to speak. Sasha rubbed her eyes and sat up.
“Mars, what’s wrong?” she asked again. Marcy rubbed their arms anxiously.
“I, uh…had a bad dream. I don’t really want to be alone right now. Can you…?” they trailed off. Sasha looked surprised.
“Yeah, sure,” she said, yawning. She grabbed her pillow off the couch and tossed it onto the bed. She stumbled over and tossed herself onto the bed, clearly still mostly asleep. Marcy walked over tentatively and laid down next to her, but they couldn’t sleep. Sasha’s back was to them, her scar once again on display for Marcy to see. They felt their guilt creeping through their brain, keeping them awake, transfixed by the mark on Sasha’s back. Without thinking, they reached out and gently touched her scar.
“Uh, Mars?” Sasha said. Mars pulled their hand back quickly.
“Ah, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just-” they started, not sure what they were trying to say. Sasha turned over to look at Marcy. They normally hated eye contact, but something about Sasha’s eyes had always felt safe. They started to tear up.
“I know I already said this but I’m just so sorry I hurt you and Anne and so many other people and I don’t really understand why you both forgave me so easily and-” they said in a rush before breaking down sobbing. They heard the bed creak and suddenly felt Sasha’s arms wrap around them, hugging them tight. Mars rested their head on Sasha’s chest and started to get their breathing under control again.
“Marcy, we forgave you so long ago. What brought this up?” Sasha asked.
“It’s just…I know we all went through a lot in Amphibia, but you and Anne actually remember what happened. Everything that happened while I was possessed, I…get flashes of it sometimes when I dream, but that’s it. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to deal with it, it’s just…empty hurt. But I saw the news after we got back, I saw what happened, I…people died Sasha, and it was my fault. I did it. How can I ever…”
Sasha let go of Marcy and Marcy shut their eyes tightly, keeping their head tucked. They felt Sasha’s hand under their chin and they looked up.
“That stuff was never you, Marcy, okay? None of this “I” shit. Just because that thing possessed you doesn’t mean any of it was your fault.”
“What if there’s more I could’ve done to stop it?” Marcy whispered. Sasha reached over and squeezed their hand.
“There wasn’t,” Sasha said simply.
“I still hear its voice in my head sometimes,” Mars admitted. “I don’t even know if it’s real.”
“What does it say?” Sasha asked. Marcy shifted uncomfortably.
“Makes me feel bad for things,” Marcy mumbled. “Hurting you and Anne, trapping you in Amphibia, but…also stuff that’s happening right now.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“I don’t really know what I want to do with my life, Sash. What am I supposed to do when I finish up my webcomic? Go back to school? Get some kind of job doing comics or in the animation industry or something? Can I even handle a normal job? Is doing this webcomic just me getting stuck in my dumb fantasy world again? I just…I feel like such a disappointment, Sasha. I have a degree I don’t even use while you’re stuck with a bunch of debt, I don’t work a real job, my family thinks I’m a letdown…”
“Mars. You are not a disappointment. Your webcomic makes people happy. It doesn’t matter if it isn’t a “traditional” job, okay? Who gives a shit what your family or your ex thinks? Whatever you decide to do next, Anne and I will have your back. You’ll figure it out,” Sasha said. Marcy gave a small laugh and felt a few more tears leak out of their eyes.
“Thanks, Sash,” they said gratefully. They stretched out their arms and Sasha complied, wrapping them in a hug once again. As Marcy started to fall asleep in her arms, they felt Sasha kiss the top of their head. Warmth spread through their body as they finally closed their eyes.
Chapter 6: lunch picnic
Summary:
just a light chapter where marcy and anne get lunch together in a park during anne's lunch break
Chapter Text
almost there! / thanks for suggesting lunch, i’ve been holed up in sasha’s apartment working on my webcomic for like three days straight haha / i haven’t seen sunlight since sunday
Anne laughed to herself as she read these texts from Marcy. She and Marcy were meeting for lunch in a park during Anne’s lunch break. She had just found a spot to sit when she saw Marcy across the park. Their face lit up when they saw Anne. Anne broke into a smile at the sight of them. Marcy waved excitedly and started to run over. They made it about halfway before tripping and falling in the grass.
“Hey Anne!” Mars called excitedly as they sat down next to Anne, brushing grass off their clothes.
“Hey Mars! How’d you get here? Sasha let you borrow her car?” Anne asked.
“Haha no way, I think she might actually murder me if I touch her car. I just took an Uber. And look! I brought us some food!” Marcy said excitedly, lifting up the bag they had been carrying.
“Uhh, did our food survive you tripping?”
“Psh, I’m sure it’s fine,” Mars said, waving their hand. “I drop takeout on the ground all the time.”
“Sounds…delicious? So, how’s it been staying at Sasha’s place? Sorry I couldn’t offer up my place, but I don’t have anywhere you could sleep.”
“That’s okay, Sash’s place is pretty good!” Marcy replied. “She even let me take the bed so I haven’t been stuck sleeping on the couch.”
“Dang, Sasha’s sleeping on the couch until you leave?”
“Actually, Sasha and I have just been sharing her bed most nights.”
“Oh,” Anne said, furrowing her brow slightly. Did that mean they and Sasha were…?
“Oh, jeez, that’s not what I meant,” Marcy said, blushing slightly at Anne’s expression. “Sasha’s couch just isn’t very comfortable, you know? It's easier to just share.”
“Ooooh,” Anne replied, slightly embarrassed. She felt a bit ridiculous for jumping to that conclusion so quickly. She knew Sasha and Marcy had stayed closer with each other than they had with Anne, but that didn’t mean they had gotten together. Anne had been slightly surprised when she’d figured out how close Sasha and Mars had gotten after Amphibia. She had kept some distance from the two of them for the first year after Mars had moved, and the two of them had never seemed very tight beforehand. It had been surprising to see how their friendship had grown in her absence. She couldn’t help but feel a bit of jealousy over how easy things seemed to be between the two of them.
“Oh, Mars, guess who I saw at the aquarium this morning?” Anne said, trying to change the subject. “This guy I knew from freshman year that was with his husband and two year old daughter! Can you believe some people our age are already married with kids?”
“Meanwhile I still need people to remind me to eat proper meals,” Marcy laughed. “Were you two friends in college?”
“Eh, not really. We had a couple classes together, so we ended up talking sometimes. Never kept in touch or anything though.”
“Well I think it’s cool that you can just…reconnect with people you barely knew like that. I hardly even made friends during college. I don’t think people in my classes would even remember me, let alone want to talk to me,” Marcy said, slightly dejected. Anne reached over and gave their hand a squeeze.
“Hey, your college experience was a lot different than mine, okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Anne said with a small smile.
“I know, I know,” Mars said, trying to return Anne’s smile. “Sometimes it’s still hard to not be jealous of how good you are with people, you know?”
“Honestly, I don’t know if I’m as good with them as you think. I met a lot of people in college, but I really only made a couple of close friends. A lot of people just kinda went in and out of my life really fast,” Anne admitted with a slight frown. Anne was always meeting new people that she enjoyed being around, but things rarely turned to friendship. She’d find people in classes or at parties and get along well, but then the semester would end and they’d just disappear from her life.
“Sounds like you and Sasha kinda had similar experiences,” Marcy replied. Anne looked up in surprise.
“Really? Didn’t she make, like, a bunch of friends at school? I always saw her posting photos online with a ton of different people.”
“Eh, I don’t think she’d consider most of them friends. She just hung out with a lot of them because they were fun to be around or because they were friends with whoever she was dating at the time. There were only a couple people she’d actually talk about with me.”
“Huh,” Anne said, surprised. She hadn’t considered that Sasha might have some of the same struggles as Anne with getting close to people. For all the people that entered her life, Anne was still afraid of getting close to too many of them. Part of her still wasn’t over losing everyone she left behind in Amphibia. She wanted to protect herself from experiencing that pain again on Earth.
“I mean, it’s not like Sasha doesn’t have any other friends!” Marcy said in a rush. “Yesterday she introduced me to a couple of friends she’s known for six years or something and they were really cool and obviously people Sasha actually cared about, you know?” Anne laughed.
“Mars, it’s okay, I know what you were trying to say,” Anne replied with a smile. She had always assumed that Sasha just had a lot of friends, but what Mars was saying made more sense. Sasha wasn’t exactly forthcoming with her emotions. Anne realized that she wasn’t very forthcoming anymore either. She still had a few close friends from high school and college and had made a few more since graduating, but it took her a long time to connect with all of them. Way longer than it took her when she was young.
“Hey Anne, could I…ask you something kinda personal?” Marcy said nervously.
“Yeah, dude, what’s up?” Anne said, her voice slightly muffled by the food she was eating.
“Okay, so, at first I thought this was because we’ve done most of our communicating online since I moved and I know it can be hard for some people to be expressive online and I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, but now that I’m actually spending a lot of time with you in person, I’ve noticed that you’re…different than you used to be,” Marcy said in one long stream. Anne saw that they were tapping their fingers lightly against the ground.
“Different how?” Anne replied, scrunching her eyebrows.
“Just…a lot more serious. Like you don’t make dumb jokes or goof around or anything as much as you used to,” Marcy said, avoiding Anne’s gaze. They were now drumming their hands against their legs.
“Oh. um…” Anne started, feigning confusion. She knew exactly what Marcy was talking about, but she didn’t want to say anything about it. She was trying to figure out how to safely avoid the topic when Marcy spoke again.
“Oh, gosh, Anne, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it in a negative way. There’s nothing wrong with being more serious or anything, it’s just different than you used to be and I want to make sure you’re doing okay is all,” Mars said, wringing their hands slightly.
“It’s okay, Mars, I just…grew up a bit, you know?” Anne replied, trying to sound casual. She quickly ate some of her lunch to fill the silence as she tried to think of a good way to change the subject once again.
“Oh, did you hear about the new exhibit they’re putting up at the aquarium soon?” Anne asked. Marcy’s eyes widened in excitement.
“Oh my god, no? What’s it going to be?!”
“It’s going to be so cool, dude, you’re gonna love it. It’s all about how seaweed can be the ‘food of the future’,” Anne said, gesturing dramatically. “They’re going to have these super tall tanks with mini kelp forests inside and a bunch of displays about why seaweed is such a great crop and all the ways it can be used and stuff. I think they’re even gonna have samples to try and get people into eating it!”
“Woah, that’s awesome! Did you know that seaweed absorbs its nutrients through fronds rather than roots and that it doesn’t need fertilizer to be grown commercially?” Marcy said excitedly.
“Oh, cool!”
“Ooooh, I can’t wait to see it!” Mars said, flapping their hands. Anne smiled. Mars was too cute for their own good when they were excited about something.
“Maybe we could go see it together?” Anne asked hesitantly. “That way you can tell me any cool stuff they leave out of the exhibit.”
“Yes! Oh, I’m so pumped! When does it open?” Marcy asked. Anne’s smile fell.
“Oh, shoot, it won’t be open for, like, almost three more months. You’ll be back east by then, right?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” Marcy replied with a frown, looking at the ground. They hugged their arms to their chest. Anne finished her food and checked her phone.
“Hey, I’ve still got half an hour left of my lunch break. If you want, I can sneak you in for free and we can look around the aquarium a little before I get back to work?” Anne asked. Marcy looked up again, their smile back on their face.
“Heck yeah! Can we check out the sea jellies exhibit? I saw some photos online and it looks so cool!”
“Sure! But we have to stop by the sea otters on the way, they are so cute,” Anne replied, standing up. She extended a hand to Marcy and helped them stand.
“They might look cute, but otters are actually super messed up,” Marcy replied. Anne and Marcy started walking towards the aquarium entrance, hands still clasped. “A lot of male sea otters are super violent with females when they-”
“Noooo, don’t ruin them for me,” Anne said, cutting across Marcy’s words. She pretended to reach out and cover their mouth. “Let me live in blissful ignorance!”
They both started laughing. Mars tried to recall every positive fact they knew about sea otters and recited them as they walked hand in hand. Anne watched them with a smile on her face the entire walk.
Chapter 7: news
Summary:
marcy shares some news and sasha's reaction makes marcy angry (calling everyone who wants marcy to yell at sasha lmao they do a lot of yelling in this one)
Chapter Text
“So how was going outside for the first time in days?” Sasha asked. He and Mars were hanging out in Sasha’s kitchen. They had just finished cleaning it after the surprisingly good dinner Sasha had cooked for them.
“Really fun! Anne snuck me into the aquarium for free and we looked at the sea otters and the jellyfish! I’m just sad that the new seaweed exhibit wasn’t open yet,” Marcy replied.
“This is why you’ve got to come to L.A. more often, babe,” Sasha replied. “So many cool things you’re missing out on.”
“Hey, the east coast isn’t too bad!”
“Think you’d ever move back out here, or are you a full blown east-coaster now?” Sasha asked. Mars rubbed their forearm awkwardly.
“So, actually…I’ve been throwing this idea around for a little while now and I didn’t really want to say anything until I made a decision but I’m, uh. Moving. Here. To LA. In about two months. Surpriseee,” they finished awkwardly, waving their hands slightly in the air. Sasha stared at them.
“Wait. Are you serious?”
“Yes?”
“Holy shit? You’re moving back to LA?”
“Yes?? I don’t really know what I want to do with my life next and being here is going to give me the most options?”
“Dude! Holy shit!!” Sasha exclaimed, breaking into a huge smile. He ran over to Marcy and wrapped them in a huge hug, lifting them off the ground and spinning them around once before setting them down again. Arms still around each other, they met each other’s gaze and started laughing so hard that Marcy felt a few tears well up in their eyes. As they wiped their eyes, they felt one of Sasha’s hands move to their shoulder. Their laughter trailed off as they looked up at the expression on Sasha’s face. He was smiling at Marcy so softly that Marcy felt their face flush.
“I can’t believe it. We’re finally going to live in the same place again,” he whispered. Mars couldn’t reply. The look on Sasha’s face was so full of affection that Mars felt their brain short-circuiting. His arms were still wrapped around them, his face far too close to theirs, their eyes still locked together. Sasha slowly reached his other hand up to cup Marcy’s chin, delicately running his thumb across their scar. Mars felt their face burning. They still couldn't speak. They were usually immune to Sasha’s flirting, but this was so much more. Sasha tilted their chin up and Mars felt like their heart had stopped. Sasha leaned in and kissed them softly.
For a second, Marcy felt blissfully light. They kissed him back, their mind empty and their heart glowing. They felt a thought drop into the back of their mind and suddenly, it was as if floodgates in their brain had been opened. Marcy felt like they had been doused in cold water. They pushed Sasha away, their mind rushing so fast that they couldn’t speak. All the warmth they had felt was gone and replaced by a cold, empty feeling.
“Mars?” Sasha asked nervously, his arms still slightly outstretched. Mars took a step back and hugged their arms close to their chest, still struggling to speak. The thoughts in their head were swirling too much to make sense of. They squeezed their eyes shut, suddenly repulsed by the mere sight of Sasha. In the darkness, they were finally able to pick some words out of the tangle.
“I- I don’t want to be your second choice!” they managed to get out, and suddenly their thoughts clicked together into one devastating realization.
“Second choice?” Sasha said in confusion. “What are you talking about, Mars?”
Marcy wasn’t an angry person. Far from it. They hated confrontation, hated yelling, hated all of it. They couldn’t help but feel terrible when someone was angry at them. They were never in a hurry to inflict that same feeling on someone else, but at Sasha’s words, Marcy felt something inside them snap. The fact that Sasha was still oblivious after so long was too much for them to handle. They felt over a decade’s worth of anger rise up in them all at once.
“You’re in love with Anne!” they burst out. “I’m not completely oblivious, Sasha. I saw the way you two danced the other night, what you said in the car, how you flirt with her, how you stare at her, all of it! So why would you…what is…am I just the next best thing?”
“Of- of course not,” Sasha stammered, taken aback by Marcy’s anger.
“But you are in love with Anne, aren’t you?” Marcy replied fiercely. Sasha didn’t say anything, but the look on his face was enough.
“So what was the reason, Sasha?” Mars said, gesturing angrily. “Am I just some cute thing you get to fool around with? Another fling that you’ll ditch in a month because I can’t compete with her?”
“No, I-”
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?” Marcy furiously interrupted. “I’ve loved you since fucking middle school! I had such a big crush on you back then and I knew you never cared about me as much as you cared about Anne and it hurt! It hurt so goddamn much! But I stuck around and never complained because I was just so happy to have friends. And then we went to Amphibia and everything changed between us and I thought I’d fucked things up for good but somehow we came out of it okay! Then I moved and Anne practically stopped talking to me and I was so afraid that things really were over between all of us, but then you and I started talking more, and we actually became proper friends. For once we didn’t need Anne between us to even have a goddamn conversation! I didn’t even care if we never became more because I was so glad there was finally a real friendship between us!
“Do you have any idea how much our relationship has meant to me these past few years? There were so many times where I felt like I had nobody except you. You’re so much of the reason I’ve made it where I am today and am actually somewhat happy with my life! You’re my best friend, Sasha. I can’t believe you’re just…throwing that all away so I can be the next person you use because you’re too much of a fucking coward to tell Anne how you feel!”
Marcy’s breathing was heavy. They had never yelled like that before, never felt this much anger before in their life. They looked at Sasha and were startled to see tears welling up in his eyes. It had been years since they’d seen him cry. They should’ve felt bad, but all it did was make them angrier. Sasha was supposed to be the strong one. He had no right to be the one crying right now.
“Mars, please, it’s not like that,” Sasha said desperately, his voice breaking slightly.
“Then why did you kiss me, Sasha?” Mars loudly retorted.
“I- I don’t kn-”
“Bullshit!” Mars cut across his words before he could even finish. “You don’t just kiss your friend for no goddamn reason! You don’t just change everything between us without a fucking reason!”
Marcy stared him down across the kitchen. Sasha seemed to be at a loss for words. That only made Marcy angrier. Sasha was never at a loss for words. He always had something to say about everything. They turned and stomped over to the bed, where they started throwing their clothes into their suitcase.
“What are you doing?” Sasha asked quietly.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Marcy replied tonelessly. They continued gathering their things as Sasha watched silently from the kitchen. It only took them a few minutes before their bag was full. They hoisted it over their shoulder and made for the door.
“Mars, it's nearly midnight. Where are you going?” Sasha said, finally moving from the kitchen as Mars opened the apartment door. They ignored him and walked out the door. Sasha ran after them.
“Marcy, please, it’s late. At least let me drive you,” Sasha pleaded.
“No,” Marcy said forcefully, marching quickly down the stairs and towards the nearest bus stop. They heard Sasha following behind them, but he didn’t say anything else. They got to the bus stop and Marcy saw that a bus was coming in a few minutes. It was going to pass fairly close to Anne’s apartment and Marcy briefly considered going there, but decided against it. They didn’t like lying and definitely didn’t want to explain why they were showing up at midnight in need of a place to stay. They’d just find a hotel instead.
“Please, just…at least text me when you get somewhere safe,” Sasha said as the bus pulled up. Marcy was silent for a moment. The bus pulled to a stop in front of them.
“Fine,” Marcy replied as they climbed in. The door closed behind them. Marcy didn’t look back as the bus pulled away and Sasha helplessly watched it go.
Chapter 8: reconciliation
Chapter Text
Mars scoffed at the alert on their phone and decided to give the situation up. It had been nearly two days since they’d left Sasha’s place and they’d been staying at a hotel the entire time. They’d kept their promise to Sasha and texted him once they’d found a hotel. He hadn’t said anything in reply, but Mars had woken up the next morning to several hundred dollars from Sasha in their Venmo account. They’d sent the money back just a few minutes ago, but Sasha had already retaliated and sent it again alongside a text.
it’s my fault you have to stay at a hotel, the least i can do is pay for it / you need to save money if you’re going to be moving to L
Unfortunately, he was right. Mars made enough off their webcomic to get by, but they couldn’t exactly afford a hotel right now. They sighed and sent a text back.
fine / thanks.
It was only a few moments before Sasha sent another message back.
can we please talk about what happened? / i know you’re angry but i don’t want things to just be over between us
Marcy didn’t reply. They’d spent all their time working on their webcomic to avoid thinking about what had happened. They didn’t regret their anger or leaving, but they felt so alone. They hated how much they already missed Sasha.
Marcy stretched out their arms and flopped down on the bed. They did want to be with Sasha, but they wanted it to be real. They needed Sasha to want them for exactly who they were, not just because they were the next best thing. They didn’t see how talking things through could change that, but they also knew that nothing was going to happen if they stayed holed up in a hotel room. They picked up their phone.
okay / but you have to come to me
Sasha texted back immediately.
where are you staying?
Mars sent him the address of the hotel. Sasha gave the message a thumb’s up. Considering how fast he had replied to all of Mars’s previous messages, they assumed he was going to be there pretty soon. They laid back on their bed and thought about what had happened between them.
They hadn’t said anything in the moment, but Sasha’s apparent infatuation with Anne wasn’t the only thing that had stopped Marcy from kissing him back that night. Spending time with Anne again was causing some feelings to surface that Marcy didn’t know what to do with. They had loved Sasha so long that their feelings mostly kept to a dull roar in the background. What they were starting to feel about Anne were more fresh, more poignant. Marcy hadn’t figured out what they meant or what they wanted to do about them yet.
Soon, Marcy heard a knock on their door. They opened the door and saw Sasha standing awkwardly in the hall and holding a bag. For a second, they just stared at one another.
“I, uh, brought you some food,” Sasha said hesitantly, lifting up the bag slightly. “Figured you might not have eaten enough the past few days.”
Marcy realized he was right. They hadn’t noticed how hungry they were until now. They took the bag and sat cross-legged on their bed. Sasha sat down on a chair, watching in silence as Marcy ate their food.
“Thanks for the food,” Marcy said quietly when they had finished. Sasha nodded in reply but still didn’t say anything. Marcy stared at him.
“I thought you wanted to talk,” Mars said. Sasha looked surprised.
“I do,” he replied.
“So…” Mars started, waiting for him to say more.
“Sorry, Mars, I just figured you had more you wanted to say to me first,” Sasha said with a shrug. Mars sighed.
“Okay, fine. Sasha Waybright. I have loved you for so fucking long, but I made peace with the fact that you would probably never return my feelings years ago. I want to be with you, but not if I’m just the next best option. Not if I’m just some stand-in for who you can’t have. I’ve never been all that good at loving myself, but I at least know I deserve someone that loves me because I’m me. Loves me for everything I am. I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t know how we keep going forward if you can’t do that for me. I can’t just be some spontaneous regret that you try to move on from. I need to know why you kissed me,” they finished calmly. They crossed their arms as Sasha sat forward in his seat.
“I kissed you because I love you, Mars,” he said earnestly. “I love you more than I know how to put into words. I’ve loved you for years. And you’re right. I have been a coward. I never flirted with you to toy with you. I flirted with you because I was too scared to do anything more. You have been the only constant thing in my life for years. I never would have gotten where I am without you in my life. I am so fucking in love with you, Marcy Wu. When you said you were moving here, when I realized there might finally be a chance to have something more between us, I just…couldn’t help myself.”
“But you get how that made me feel, don’t you? Why it felt like you didn’t actually care about me, like you were teasing me instead of actually flirting, like you just wanted me to…fill some void?” Marcy retorted. Sasha shifted nervously.
“Yeah, I do. I’m so sorry, Marcy. I fucked up. It wasn’t fair of me to just jump on you like that. I understand if…if you think this has to be the end for us,” he finished sadly.
“I don’t want it to be,” Marcy admitted. “But what about Anne?”
“What about her?”
“You are in love with her, aren’t you?” Marcy countered. Sasha tapped his fingers and stood up. He paced for a few seconds before looking over at Marcy.
“Is…is it so crazy to say I might be in love with both of you?” he asked hesitantly.
“Both of us?” Mars replied with a frown.
“Maybe not in the exact same ways, not for the same reasons, but…yeah. Both of you. I’m in love with Anne, but I’m also in love with you, Mars.”
“You actually love me?” Mars asked quietly.
“Of course I do. How could I not? You’re smart, you’re passionate, you’re exciting, you’re just…you,” Sasha said, breaking into a smile in spite of himself. “You’ve been there for me like nobody else has for so many years. It wasn’t just Anne that helped me become a better person. You make me see the kind of person I want to be. You inspire me to be better.” Sasha sighed. “Look, Mars, I know I wasn’t thinking things through. I get it if you want us to take a break or-”
He stopped talking as Mars stood up from the bed and walked over to him. Now they were the one not thinking things through. It seemed so obvious now that Sasha loved them both, that loving both of your best friends might be the most natural thing in the world. That Sasha might not be the only one in love with two people at once. They would figure out the details later. They were done overthinking.
Marcy stood silently in front of Sasha. He was standing rigid in place and slightly flushed, apparently taken aback by Marcy’s proximity. Marcy grinned to themself slightly before cupping Sasha’s face in their hands and kissing him. For a second, Sasha was frozen in shock. Then, he wrapped his arms around Marcy and kissed them back, lifting them off the ground in his enthusiasm. Marcy wrapped their legs around him and Sasha moved until he was sitting on the bed, Marcy in his lap. They broke apart and looked each other in the eyes before starting to laugh.
“So I guess that’s a no to the break?” Sasha asked with a smirk. Mars laughed some more and pressed their forehead against Sasha’s.
“We’ll see, Waybright,” Mars whispered with a smile. “You still have to prove you’re dedicated.”
“I’ll take that challenge,” he whispered back, grinning as Mars took his face and kissed him again. Mars felt as though they were on fire, their heart burning with all the potential they saw for their future. Not just with Sasha, not just with Anne, but with whatever they decided to pursue next. For once, they weren’t scared about what might come next.
Chapter 9: reprieve
Summary:
Sasha and Marcy talk during the morning after they finally got together.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Sasha woke to the sunrise shining through the hotel window and blinked blearily at her surroundings. It took her a moment to realize she was still in Marcy’s hotel room, Macy curled on the bed next to her. Sasha carefully lifted the arm she had draped over Marcy’s sleeping figure, doing her best not to wake them. Sasha couldn’t help but wake up around 6:00 every morning, but they knew how much Marcy despised getting up before 9:00. She tried to get out of bed silently and winced as the bed creaked loudly underneath her. Marcy rolled over with a hoarse groan.
“Sorry, Mars,” Sasha whispered with a smile. She relished in being able to stare at Mars openly without worrying about what her feelings meant. Mars’s hair was a tangled mess, their t-shirt crumpled and half ridden-up on their stomach. They looked adorable. Mars groaned again, covered their face with a pillow, and flipped Sasha off. Sasha laughed.
“C’mon, get up. You can sleep all you want at my place and I’ll cook your favorite for breakfast.”
“Fine,” Mars mumbled into their pillow. “But if you’re making me get up this early, I’m making you answer all the questions I spared you from last night.”
“Alright, deal. Hit me,” Sasha replied. Mars slowly sat up in bed, stretching and yawning as Sasha started packing up.
“If you loved me and Anne for so long, why’d you date so many people?”
“Jesus, not pulling any punches, huh?”
“What happened to ‘taking that challenge’, hm?” Mars retorted sleepily.
“Fair,” Sasha said with a shrug. “I dated other people because I wanted to figure out what I wanted from a relationship and make sure what I felt was actually real. Also…I honestly didn’t think either of you would ever feel the same way. So part of it was also me just trying to move on. I kinda felt the same way you did- I’d rather have had you as just a friend than lose you entirely.”
“You seriously thought neither of us were interested in you? I’m almost positive Anne was into you at some point and obviously I was into you forever,” Mars said.
“Honestly, Marcy, you kinda intimidated me too much to ever think that was a possibility. And with Anne, I thought that ship had sailed in high school.”
“What do you mean?” Marcy asked, confused. Sasha turned slightly red.
“So, uh, you know how Anne and I drifted apart a lot in high school and how things were weird between us for a little while? Something kinda happened between us junior year that I never told you about…”
“Oh my god, what happened?” Marcy said, eyes wide. They sat up in bed and hugged their pillow in their lap, listening intently.
“Heh, so, it was the end of junior year and it was prom and I was feeling all, like, jittery and pumped up because I was wearing a suit for the first time and feeling really good, you know? So Anne and I had gone with different groups but neither of us had a date and we ended up hanging out a lot that night even though it had been a while since we’d talked. They played a slow song and I asked her to dance and she actually said yes and it was…really nice. Afterwards her group wanted to go out and she wasn’t really feeling it so she came back to my parent’s house with my group instead. We all hung out for a bit but eventually it was just the two of us alone in the house. We were, uh, kinda drunk and laughing and just having a good time for the first time in months and Anne was being kinda flirty and touchy and I just…you know. Couldn’t help it. So I kissed her.”
“Seems like a bad habit of yours, huh?” Mars said with a smirk.
“Maybe,” Sasha said, running an embarrassed hand through her hair.
“So what did she say?” Mars asked.
“Well, she didn’t say anything, but we were making out for the next ten minutes.”
“Oh my god, really?” Mars said excitedly.
“Mars you are way too into this,” Sasha teased.
“What?” Mars protested. “This is like a cliche fanfic featuring two of my favorite people. What’s not to love?”
“Nerd,” Sasha said affectionately, reaching over to bop Mars on the nose.
“What happened after?” Marcy responded eagerly.
“Well, her mom texted her and I guess that kind of startled her because she left really quickly before we could even talk about what had just happened. After that we had finals and then I was working like six days a week when the summer started, so it was a little while before I saw her again. I texted her a couple times, but I never heard back. When I finally saw her in person again, neither of us brought it up, so I figured she just regretted it and didn’t want to talk about it. Our relationship was already a bit rocky, so I was just too scared to ever try again.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah,” Sasha replied. They were silent for a moment.
“Wait, Sash…were you actually too intimidated by me to ever make a move?” Marcy asked.
“Uh, yes? You’ve always been able to see through my bullshit and you’ve started to call me out on it more and more. I kinda have to be vulnerable around you now and that terrifies me,” Sasha admitted.
“Wow, didn’t realize I was so scary,” Marcy replied sarcastically.
“You were highkey intimidating the other night, Mars,” Sasha said with a small laugh. Mars tried to smile, but it twisted into more of a grimace. They rubbed their arm anxiously.
“I’m sorry I yelled,” Mars said. “I don’t regret saying what I did, but I didn’t need to be so…loud about it.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, okay?” Sasha replied, sitting back down on the bed next to Mars. “It’s not exactly something you’ve made a habit of. You had every right to be pissed with me.”
Sasha reached out and gave Mars’s hand a squeeze before leaning over to kiss them gently on the cheek. Sasha laughed as she pulled back and saw that Mars’s face had gone red.
“Not used to this yet, huh?” Sasha said with a smirk. Mars didn’t reply. Instead, they grabbed Sasha’s shoulders and kissed her, slowly pushing her down onto the bed and shifting until they were on top of her. Mars pulled away and looked down at Sasha, laughing at the look on her face. She was bright red.
“You’re one to talk, Sash,” Marcy teased.
“Yeah, okay, you win,” Sasha grumbled, halfheartedly pushing Marcy off of her and sitting up again. Marcy giggled triumphantly.
“So…” Sasha started.
“So?”
“We’re hanging out with Anne again in a few nights.”
“Yeah?”
“Are we going to tell her about us?” Sasha asked. She saw Marcy’s face fall. Sasha wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Marcy seemed to be okay with the fact that Sasha loved both of them, but she wasn’t sure what Marcy wanted her to do about Anne. Telling Anne about them would change a lot of things. It might ruin what Anne and Sasha were just starting to rebuild. Sasha was prepared to commit to Marcy, but she didn’t want to lose Anne’s friendship in the process. She knew Marcy wouldn’t want to either. They both needed Anne as much as they needed each other.
“I…don’t think we should,” Mars said hesitantly. “At least not yet. I haven’t even told her I’m moving to LA yet, we’re both still trying to reconnect with her, we’re still trying to figure out what we are, I’m starting to understand how I feel about, uh…well, it’s just a lot all at once. I hate lying, I don’t want to keep secrets from her, but…”
Sasha squeezed Mars’s hand. They were right. Things between all three of them were still delicate. She and Marcy had to figure out how to navigate being together. It didn’t seem right to keep this a secret from Anne, but it seemed like the only way to keep them all together.
“Okay. We can figure out how to tell her once you’ve officially moved out here. It shouldn’t be too hard to keep it a secret until then, right?”
“God, I hope so,” Mars replied, resting their head on Sasha's shoulder.
Notes:
i turned that little sashanne side story into a fic! you can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40920981/chapters/102549084 for somr bittersweet high school sashanne stuff
also! my senior year of college is starting soon and i'll be doing so much shit so updates might get slower, but i'm determined to get at least one chapter up every two weeks. i promise i'll finish this fic, it's already all planned out, it just might take longer than i had originally hoped!
Chapter 10: bitter goodbyes
Summary:
it's marcy's last night in LA and anne, marcy, and sasha are celebrating, but anne still doesn't know that sasha and marcy are together
Notes:
lmao i've been meaning to post this chapter for Days and i keep forgetting oops
Chapter Text
The night was going smoothly, but Sasha still couldn’t help but feel awkward. He, Anne, and Marcy were all celebrating Marcy’s last night in LA at Anne’s apartment. It was a studio, even smaller than Sasha’s, but full of color. There were prints, pictures, and fairy lights covering the walls and houseplants on every free surface. It was bright and fun and comforting. It felt like Anne. It felt like home, even if it wasn’t his.
It had only been a few days since he and Marcy had gotten together, but it felt like an eternity. Everything between them felt so natural, so perfect, as though they had simply taken the long-overdue next step in their relationship. Getting to love Marcy so openly filled Sasha with a kind of joy and relief he’d never felt before.
Still, he was nervous. Logically, he knew Anne wouldn’t be able to see the change between them as long as they were careful, but that didn’t do much to ease his worries. If Anne figured it out before they were ready to tell her, things between the three of them could be irrevocably changed.
To make things more complicated, Sasha was making an active effort to be as platonic as possible with Anne. It wasn’t fair to Mars if he kept constantly flirting with Anne. It was time to grow up and move on from Anne.
“Sorry I’ve been so busy with work the past few days, Mars. I wish we could’ve spent more time together,” Anne said, handing them both drinks.
“It’s okay, Anne, I had a lot of fun every time we were together,” Mars replied with a smile.
“What have you been up to the past few days?” Anne asked.
“Oh, uh, mostly just working on my webcomic at a coffee shop near Sasha’s place while he’s at work,” Marcy replied. Their tone was even, but Sasha saw them tapping their fingers nervously against their leg. Nothing they’d said had been a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth. They spent all their time together as soon as Sasha was off work, holed up in his apartment to avoid any chance of being seen, savoring every moment they could spend finding each other.
“That sounds nice! You’ve been kinda quiet tonight, Sash, how’s work been this week?” Anne said.
“Oh! It’s been, uh, pretty standard I guess,” Sasha said awkwardly. The truth was, Sasha barely remembered what had happened at work that week. He’d had more important things to think about as soon as he got home.
“That’s…good?” Anne replied, furrowing her eyebrows. She set her drink down. “I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick.
As the door clicked behind her, Marcy grabbed Sasha’s shoulder and leaned towards him.
“Why are you acting so weird around Anne?” Marcy whispered.
“I don’t know, okay! I’m just nervous she’s going to find out about us and I’m trying hard not to flirt with her and shit,” Sasha hissed back. Marcy looked confused.
“Why are you trying not to flirt with Anne?”
“Because we’re together now?”
“Oh,” Marcy said, confused. “Do you want me to stop flirting with her, too?”
“What do you mean, ‘flirting with her too’?” Sasha replied, furrowing his eyebrows.
“I mean, do you want me to stop flirting with Anne? Does it make you uncomfortable or anything?”
“Since when do you flirt with Anne?” Sasha hissed.
“I flirt with Anne all the time!” Marcy replied in an incredulous whisper.
“Okay, fine, why do you flirt with Anne?”
“Because I like her, too?”
“Since fucking when?” Sasha replied in a loud whisper. Marcy cast a nervous glance at the bathroom door.
“I mean, I only figured it out pretty recently, but probably a really long time. Did I…not tell you?” Marcy replied quietly.
“No you fucking didn’t!”
“Oh. Haha. Oops,” Marcy replied. Sasha’s thoughts started catching up with the conversation.
“Wait, but if we both-” Sasha started, but stopped as he heard the sink running inside the bathroom. He quickly stepped away from Mars as Anne walked out again, his mind racing.
“Hey, what were you two whispering about?” Anne said with a small smirk. Sasha and Mars exchanged a nervous glance.
“Oh! Anne! Just, uhh, I had some news I wanted to tell you!” Mars replied anxiously.
“What’s up, Mars?” Anne replied, sounding concerned.
“I’m moving back to LA in about two months?” Mars said. Anne looked between Mars and Sasha, a smile starting to rise on her face.
“Are you serious?” she asked.
“Yes?”
“Oh my god, Marcy!” Anne exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. She lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Marcy excitedly, squeezing them tightly. Marcy’s face broke into a smile as they hugged Anne back enthusiastically. Sasha felt his chest grow warm as he watched. He was so in love with both of them.
“I can’t believe it,” Anne said happily. She pulled one arm away from Marcy and held it out to Sasha. He took it gladly and Anne pulled him into the hug, wrapping her arms around both of them.
“We’re all going to be together again,” Anne said softly.
~~~
“Are you sure you can get home safely?” Anne asked. Sasha and Marcy were about to head back to Sasha’s apartment after spending the evening at Anne’s place. Things between the three of them had felt more natural than they had in a long time. The revelation that they would all be together again had broken some of the tension Sasha hadn’t even realized was there. They had spent the entire evening laughing, telling stories, and just enjoying each other’s company.
“We’ll be fine, Anne, don’t worry. We didn’t drink that much. Besides, we have to be up early to get Marcy to the airport on time,” Sasha replied.
“Just be safe, okay?” Anne said. Marcy stood up from tying their shoes and Anne turned towards them, wrapping them in yet another hug. Marcy yelped in surprise.
“Ah, sorry, sorry, I’m just so excited you’ll be back soon,” Anne said, quickly releasing Mars. Mars smiled and wrapped their arms around Anne.
“So am I,” Mars said with a grin. Anne turned to Sasha and gave him a hug goodbye as well.
“I didn’t forget our conversation on my birthday,” Anne whispered in his ear. “Let’s hang out again soon, okay?”
Sasha didn’t reply, but squeezed Anne a little tighter in response. They broke apart and Anne gave him a nervous smile before leaning forward and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She turned to Mars and kissed their cheek as well. Mars’s face turned slightly pink, and Sasha could tell he was blushing too.
“Text me when you’re home, okay?” she said. Sasha and Mars gave her a nod before turning and walking out her door. They walked downstairs and down the street to the nearest bus stop in silence. Sasha checked for the bus on his phone and groaned.
“Ugh, bus isn’t coming for at least ten more minutes,” Sasha grumbled, leaning against the frame of the bus shelter. Mars leaned next to him and gently intertwined their fingers.
“Tonight was really nice,” Marcy said simply.
“Yeah, it…hasn’t felt like that in a long time,” Sasha replied with a sigh.
“Do you think it’ll still be like that after we tell her?” they asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” he said. They were silent for a moment. Sasha squeezed their hand. “Hey, it’s going to be okay. We have a few months to figure out what to say. We’ll make sure we don’t lose her, okay?”
Sasha knew it was risky, but he leaned over and gave Marcy a kiss. It was meant to be quick, but they were drunk on wine and new love. Marcy pulled him in deeper. They stayed there, blissfully lost in one another and uncaring of their surroundings until Sasha heard an unmistakable gasp behind him. His heart plummeted and his body went cold as he and Marcy quickly separated. Anne was standing there, staring at them in shock.
“Mars, you…forgot your…scrunchie…” Anne said, her voice hollow and quiet and trailing. Her hands hung limply at her side and the scrunchie fell to the ground unnoticed.
“Anne, we-” Sasha tried to say, his voice breaking.
“Are you two together?” Anne asked quietly. Mars and Sasha glanced at each other fearfully. Anne’s eyes began filling up with tears and she took a few stumbling steps backwards. Sasha found his voice.
“Anne, wait, please, we were going to tell you. Can we talk about this?” he pleaded, taking a step towards Anne.
“I-I’m sorry, I…I have to go,” she choked out. She turned and sped back towards the building. Sasha started after her and reached a hand out to her shoulder. Anne whipped around and shoved his hand away.
“Don’t fucking touch me, Sasha,” Anne snapped. Sasha froze. Anne turned away and ran into her building. Sasha heard a sob escape from Anne before the door slammed behind her. He turned shakily around, his skin like ice and his insides burning. He strode back to the bus stop and threw himself onto the bench.
“Fuck!” he shouted, placing his hands on his head. He felt close to panic, felt as though his limbs were disconnecting from his body. He closed his eyes tight as the heat of it all rushed through his body. “Goddamnit!” he yelled, slapping his hand down on the bench hard. The sound rang hollowly through the bus shelter. He barely felt the sting. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mars flinch, still standing in the same spot. His heart fell.
“Oh, god, Mars, I’m- I’m sorry,” Sasha said, all of the energy draining out of his body. He felt hollow. They’d fucked up and he didn’t know if they could fix things. Marcy didn’t reply, but they slowly reached out and laced their fingers with Sasha’s once more. They didn’t say another word to each other the rest of the night.
Chapter 11: distance
Summary:
it's been a week since sasha and marcy have heard from anne until sasha finally reaches out to anne to try and fix things between them.
Chapter Text
S - good talking w you last night / did you figure out what you wanted to do with the next chapter of the comic?
M - i did! / i’m getting it boarded out right now :)
S - nice! looking forward to the next update / so uh / didn’t ask last night but / have you heard from anne at all?
M - no :/ / you?
S - no. i texted her after i dropped you off at the airport but that’s it / think i should try again?
M - probably / i think a week between texts is enough time
S - i want to ask her to talk in person / is that okay?
M - yeah that’s okay / it’d be too long to wait until i get back
S - anything you want me to say? / or avoid saying?
M - you mean besides the fact that we’re both in love with her lmao
S - yes mars besides that / thanks for finally fucking telling me about that last night by the way :P
M - hey, you know i’m kinda bad at emotions, i wanted to be sure before i said anything :P / but nah / i think we should just be honest about everything except the “also in love with her” part
S - okay cool / texting her now
Sasha left her conversation with Marcy and opened her messages to Anne. She read over the last message she’d sent. It made her chest twist with regret and longing.
S - hey anne. just dropped mars at the airport. i’m sorry about how things went down last night. if you’re up for talking about it just let me know (read)
She sat there for several minutes, typing and deleting her next message. She finally settled on…
S - hey. wanted to reach out again. whenever you’re ready to talk, i’ll be there. i don’t want this to be the end for us.
Sasha flopped down onto her bed, splaying out her arms. She knew she should get ready for work, but she felt stuck in the seemingly futile hope that Anne would text back. She had been trying to act normal, trying to put on a brave face for Marcy, but the uncertainty had left her feeling empty inside. Sasha felt a thrill of fear and excitement shoot through her body as she heard a text come in. She snatched her phone off the bed and saw that Anne had replied. Her heart clenched.
A - hey / when do you get off work today?
S - i’m off at 6:00
A - i get off at 6:30. can we meet after?
S - sure / do you want me to pick you up from work?
A - that works. maybe we could grab dinner and eat in that park near my place?
S - sounds good / i’ll text when i get there / have a good day at work
A - thanks
Sasha sighed, staring down at her phone. That hollow feeling was being replaced by a bubbling sense of anticipation. She shut her phone off and stuck it in her bag. She couldn’t spend all day obsessing over what might happen tonight. Whatever was said, whatever Anne wanted to do, she just had to accept it.
~~~
hey mars / about to pick up anne from work so we can talk / i’ll lyk how it goes later
Sasha was parked outside the aquarium entrance, waiting for Anne to get off work. She drummed her fingers anxiously against the steering wheel until she saw the door open and Anne walk out. Her heart swelled. Anne had changed out of her uniform. She was wearing a green crocheted bralette with a white and green floral patterned skirt and brown strappy sandals. Sasha realized she was staring and shook herself mentally. It didn’t matter how gorgeous Anne looked, it wasn’t fair to Anne or Marcy if Sasha started flirting with her. Today was about fixing things as best she could before she and Marcy told Anne how they felt about her.
“Hey,” Sasha said awkwardly as Anne got into the car.
“Hey,” Anne replied slightly distantly.
“How was work?”
“Pretty good. A couple of elementary school groups came through today.” Anne laughed slightly. “I don’t know how you work with kids every day. They’re sweet, but they’re exhausting. Makes me feel bad for everything Sprig and I put Hop Pop through.”
“Kids are a fucking nightmare,” Sasha corrected with a laugh. “That’s why I only work with one of them at a time. I could never handle a whole group of them like that.”
Anne laughed softly once more but didn’t reply. They drove in silence for several minutes. Sasha wanted to say something, but she couldn’t think of anything to talk about. She allowed herself a quick indulgent glance over at Anne. She was gazing the other way, her curls blowing in the wind, the sun gently glowing on her skin. She made Sasha feel light and free. Sasha turned back towards the road and resigned herself to a silent journey.
As they finally got their food and walked out to the park, Sasha felt herself get more and more anxious. Explaining things to Anne without revealing how she and Mars felt about her was starting to feel impossible. The impending guilt of having to lie to Anne made her stomach twist. They sat down under a tree and started eating their food in silence.
“I’m sorry I ran off like that,” Anne said suddenly. Sasha looked up in surprise. “I know I should’ve given you a chance to explain, I was just…really caught off guard.”
“You don’t need to be sorry, Anne,” Sasha said. “That definitely wasn’t how we wanted you to find out.”
“I know, I just feel like I have to…I don’t know, justify my reaction?” Anne sighed. “It was like…I knew you and Marcy stayed in better contact with each other than I did with either of you, but it really hit me hard in that moment, you know? I guess I just felt left out?” Anne laughed halfheartedly. “Which I know sounds ridiculous, haha, it’s your relationship. Nothing for me to feel left out of or anything, right?” Anne sighed. “Honestly, I was also pretty angry at first. It felt like the two of you had been lying to me for all of Mars’ visit. I know that’s not entirely fair to you guys, but…”
“Anne, it’s okay. I probably would’ve been angry if I were you. I know all of this is kind of…weird,” Sasha replied.
“I don’t think it’s weird, it was just…unexpected. I feel like I should’ve seen it coming, like not seeing it coming somehow made me a bad friend. I don’t know. I knew you flirted with Mars a lot, but I just thought you flirted with everyone. I guess I never saw that things were a bit…different between just the two of you.”
Already Sasha was stuck on how to respond. It would be so easy to say that it wasn’t different, that she flirted with Anne just as much as she did with Mars because she loved them both, but she couldn’t. She tried to pivot.
“Well, it…took us a long time to even figure out there was something between us. I was so scared that I’d lose Mars that I never tried anything. They thought I was in love with…someone else,” Sasha said, choosing her words carefully, hoping that Anne might be able to read through the lines and realize Sasha wasn’t just talking about Mars and herself. Sasha glanced hopefully over at Anne, but she was gazing towards the ground with a small frown on her face.
“Heh. It’s kind of funny you said it like that, that you were ‘too scared to lose them,’” Anne said, smiling mournfully. “The idea of losing the two of you has been, like, the only thing I’ve been able to think about all week. Some part of me is just afraid you guys are going to forget about me, I guess?” Anne gave another weak laugh and looked up. Sasha was startled to see she had tears starting to form in her eyes. Anne hastily wiped them. “Woah, sorry, I’m being silly. I’m happy for you guys, really.”
“Anne,” Sasha started softly. She knew Anne was playing down her own feelings. She wanted so badly to take Anne’s hand and reassure her, but she stopped herself. “ We were scared of losing you . Things between me and Marcy happened really quickly. We only got together, like, three days before their flight back home. We thought that if we told you too soon, it’d just ruin things between all three of us. We’re so sorry for keeping it from you and for how you found out. Believe me when I say the last thing Marcy and I want is to lose you.”
Sasha looked into Anne’s eyes. There were still tears there, but this time Anne didn’t wipe them away. She smiled softly before reaching forward and pulling Sasha into a hug. Sasha hesitated only a moment before hugging her back. They held onto one another for a few moments, both relaxing into each other’s arms.
“Thanks, Sash,” Anne whispered into Sasha’s ear. She pulled back and held one of Sasha’s shoulders at arm’s length. “Wait, did you two seriously only get together, like, a week and a half ago?” Anne asked with a laugh.
“Uhhh,” Sasha said, rubbing the back of her neck. “Yes?” Anne laughed again, sounding relieved.
“I honestly thought you guys must’ve been together for months without me knowing. Guess that helps explain my reaction, heh,” Anne said.
“Yeah, it was kinda…unexpected,” Sasha replied sheepishly.
“Oh yeah? What happened?” Anne said with a smirk.
“Uhhh,” Sasha started, turning slightly red. She was well aware the way things had gone down with Mars were reminiscent of what had happened between Anne and Sasha back in high school. “They told me they were moving back to LA and I may have gotten too excited and kissed them?” Anne laughed.
“Oh my god, Sash. How’d Mars feel about that?”
“Honestly, they were really pissed with me for a couple days,” Sasha admitted. “They thought I was just messing with them or something.”
“Did they chew you out?”
“Oh yeah. I don’t think I’d ever seen them that mad before,” Sasha replied. Anne laughed.
“Good for them, taking you down a few pegs,” Anne teased. Sasha flipped Anne off and tried to look annoyed, but she couldn’t help smiling.
“Are we…good?” Sasha asked hesitantly. Anne was silent for a moment.
“I think it’s still going to take me some time to get used to it but…yeah. I think we’re gonna be okay,” Anne said with a soft smile. Sasha felt warm reassurance spread through her body. In her relief, she found herself staring softly at Anne. She hastily looked away and stood up.
“Want me to drive you home?” Sasha asked, extending a hand down to Anne. Anne took it and Sasha pulled her to her feet. Anne’s hand lingered for a moment in Sasha’s before Anne pulled away.
“Thanks, Sash,” she said. And although she was smiling, Sasha could still hear the traces of sadness in her voice.
Chapter 12: processing
Summary:
anne knows she should feel better after her conversation with sasha, but even after texting with marcy, she's still having a hard time figuring out her feelings
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Anne’s head was swirling with conflicting emotions. She hadn’t been lying to Sasha today, she was happy for her and Mars, she did want things to be okay between the three of them, but…she didn’t know. There was some sorrow, some emptiness, some ache that she couldn’t place that kept her thoughts stuck in a dark, crushing, cold. Her heart felt stuck at the bottom of some unnamed ocean and she couldn’t find a way to surface.
She had tried to put on a good face today, but she had a feeling Sasha had seen through her forced cheeriness. Anne so badly wanted to feel excited for them, to take this change in stride and find a way to grow together through it, but something was holding her back. She chastised herself for acting so immature. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if she just moped around for no reason.
Anne grabbed her phone and scrolled to her last texts with Marcy. The last time they’d talked had been the day before Marcy flew back east, just barely over a week ago. It felt like an eternity. She started typing out a message. It was late at night, even later where Marcy was, but Anne figured they were probably still awake.
A - hey mar mar / sasha probably already told you that we met up and talked about things today / im sorry for running off like that last week. i was pretty caught off guard and i didn’t realize how recently you two had gotten together, so i thought you’d been lying to me for a while. sorry i didn’t hear you out sooner. i’m so excited you’re moving back here and i don’t want to lose my friendship with either of you.
Anne considered saying something about being happy for Sasha and Marcy, but she decided against it. Somehow it felt worse to stretch the truth with Marcy, to put those disingenuous feelings on paper rather than just flippantly throwing them out in conversation. Her phone buzzed only a few moments later.
M - hey anne! / good to hear from you :) / i totally get why you got upset, you don’t need to be sorry / are you sure you’re doing okay?
A - haha yeah, it’s still a big change to process, but i’m doing okay
The half-truth still made Anne’s insides twist with guilt, but she shoved those feelings down. Whatever was going on in Anne’s head, she didn’t want to make it Marcy and Sasha’s problem to deal with.
M - hey, you know what i realized yesterday? / i’ll be back in LA when that new aquarium exhibit opens! / we’ll be able to go see it together!
Anne’s heart lifted slightly. Despite Mars and Sasha’s reassurances, part of Anne had still been worried that she’d be left behind entirely. Knowing that she and Mars would have something to look forward to, just the two of them, helped dispel some of that crushing cold.
A - oh yeah! that will be fun :) / oh hey / how has searching for an apartment been going?
M - i might have found a place i can afford! / oh speaking of which / would you be able to help me move into my new place when i get back? / i feel like the whole process is going to be super overwhelming for me haha
A - of course! just lmk when you figure out what day so i can take off work :)
M - thanks anna banana, you’re the best <3
Anne felt her heart twist sadly and she looked away from her phone. It didn’t make sense. Nothing about this conservation should make her feel so bereft. Here it was, physical proof that Mars wasn’t going anywhere, that they still loved Anne and wanted to be part of her life, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Anne still felt melancholy. She sent a heart back and put her phone down. She laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling.
She needed to figure out what was going on in her head. She didn’t want a repeat of high school. In her struggles to process her own grief, she had pushed Sasha and Marcy away. Things had still ended up okay for them- they had needed that time apart to grow up. But if Anne pushed them away now, it might be harder to find her way back to them. Whatever she was feeling, whatever was making this so hard, she had to work it out. As a tear trailed down her cheek, Anne desperately wished she understood why it was falling.
Notes:
shorter chapter this time! working on writing 14 right now and it's gonna be fairly long bc its a big one, hoping everything after that chapter will get written pretty fast! lot's of stuff im really excited to write coming up soon :)
Chapter 13: the plan
Summary:
Sasha and Marcy try to figure out how to confess their feelings to Anne
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Shit,” Marcy said, noticing the time. They’d been researching ideas for their webcomic and had gotten sucked down a rabbithole. Marcy pulled up Discord and jumped onto a call with Sasha.
“Hey Sash!” Marcy said, waving. “Sorry I’m late, I was looking up some references for plants I could use in the webcomic and I found this one really cool plant and got super distracted looking up information about it.”
“Oh yeah? What was the plant?” Sasha asked with a smirk.
“Ooh, okay okay, so it’s called Monotropa uniflora but its common name is ‘ghost plant’ or ‘ghost pipe’ and it doesn’t have any chlorophyll, so it's completely white! It’s something called a ‘mycoheterotroph’, which means it gets all of its food through mycorrhizal networks. It’s a parasite on the fungi it relies on! It-” Marcy trailed off, looking at the expression on Sasha’s face. She had such a sappy look on her face as she listened that Marcy couldn’t help but laugh appreciatively. The fact that Sasha could always listen to their rambling made them feel so loved. Sasha blinked and looked confused.
“Wait, what’s so funny?” she asked. Marcy smiled to themself.
“Oh, nothing, you just looked really cute,” they replied, waving their hand.
“Aw, thanks, Mars. So, how’s packing going? Think you’ll be ready to move next week?” Sasha asked. Mars looked off to the side at the mess of half-packed boxes strewn around their room.
“Uhhh…I’m working on it?” they said with a shrug. Sasha laughed.
“Well, Anne and I are both taking the day off work to help you unpack when you get here, okay?”
“Heh, thanks, Sash,” Mars replied. “Speaking of Anne, have you two seen much of each other the past few weeks?”
“We’ve hung out a couple times, yeah,” Sasha said vaguely. Mars wasn’t sure how to interpret that.
“How has it been?” Mars asked.
“It’s been good? It was still a bit awkward at first, but we’re pretty much past that now, I think,” Sasha sighed. “Anne has just been kinda sad every time I see her, but she’s trying to hide it. I don’t really know why.”
“Do you…think it’s because of us?” Marcy asked with a frown.
“I don’t know. But if it is, we need to tell her soon. I don’t know if that will make things better, but…”
“At least everything will be out in the open,” Marcy finished. They sat in a pensive silence for a few moments.
“Sooo,” Marcy started. “I had a few ideas for how we should tell her.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Alright, so I’m thinking we should do it about two weeks after I move so I have a chance to settle in and hang out a bit with Anne because diving right into a love confession after not seeing each other in person for two months seems like a bit much, you know? And I was thinking about the best place to do it because we don’t really know how she’s going to react and doing it in a super public place might not be the best idea, so I figured the park near her apartment would be a good idea! We could do a whole picnic there and maybe bring her flowers or something like that. We could just have a nice relaxed lunch and then once we’ve all eaten, we can tell her how we feel!” Marcy said in one long stream.
“Shit, Mars, I think you have more than just a few ideas,” Sasha said with a laugh. “But I like it.”
“I was also thinking we should maybe…prepare what we want to say?” Mars said hesitantly.
“What do you mean?” Sasha said with a confused frown.
“Well…I kinda tend to ramble a lot and I’m not always very good at expressing my feelings and you can be kinda…impulsive? I mean, heh, you did kinda kiss me and Anne instead of actually, you know, telling us how you felt,” Mars said with a nervous laugh. Sasha inhaled slowly and Mars was afraid she was about to get angry. Instead, she raised up her hands in a surrender.
“Okay, fair, I can’t really argue with that,” Sasha admitted with a scowl.
“Ah. c’mon Sash, I just really want this to go well!” Mars pleaded. Sasha smiled slightly.
“Nah, it’s okay Mars, I’m not actually mad,” Sasha said with a sigh. “You’re right, we need to do this properly. We can’t afford to fuck it up again.” They were both silent for a moment.
“So…should I make us a Google doc to work in?” Mars asked. Sasha burst out laughing.
“I can’t believe we’re actually writing a script for this,” she said.
“It’s not a script!” Marcy protested. “It can just be a few bullet points so we make sure we say everything we want to say!”
“I know Marce, I’m just teasing.”
“Oh. Great! Then let’s get started!” Marcy said, cracking their knuckles.
~~~
Marcy looked up from the document they were typing in and was surprised to see how late it was. They’d gotten so focused on figuring out what to say to Anne that they’d completely lost track of time. Sasha had already dropped off the call over an hour ago because she had work the next day. Marcy looked over what they’d written and groaned.
Their writing style had never been very strict. It was one of the many things they’d hated about college- all that pressure to write everything as professionally and concisely as possible, trying to find that line between too cold and too casual. They preferred a looser style, writing things however they thought them even if it wasn’t the most put-together. It was what made them good at writing dialogue for their comic. If they tried too hard with what they wrote, they just over-thought things and never got anything done.
Marcy sighed. They didn’t like thinking about college. It usually sent their thoughts on a downward spiral until they were overanalyzing every choice they’d ever made. When they were younger, their over-confidence nearly fucked up a lot of things for a lot of people. After going through that, their brain had ricocheted too far in the opposite direction. Marcy had found themself drowning in uncertainty at every turn. Every decision had left them plagued with anxiety, afraid to rashly make a bad call that would get someone hurt. It was why they’d ended up going to college even if they didn’t really want to. The thought of turning down a full scholarship to pursue something as uncertain as art had been too overwhelming. It hadn’t helped that their family had been pressuring them to pursue academia ever since they were young. Things had gotten a lot better since graduating, but it was still hard sometimes.
They shook their head. It wasn’t doing any good to sit here worrying about the past. Mars was happier now. They were rebuilding the confidence they had in themselves, relearning to trust their own abilities and let the future take them wherever it would. Hell, right now they were figuring out how to lay their entire heart out to Anne. Something like this would have been unthinkable for Mars a few years ago.
Mars again looked at the long rambling strings of thought they’d typed out. This time, it made them smile. What were they so worried about? This was Anne they’d be confessing to. Anne, who seemed to know everybody’s heart better than her own. Anne, who saw the good in people even when they couldn’t see it themselves. Anne, who could forgive and love and laugh and smile in a way that wrapped your very heart in her warm embrace. They didn’t need to overthink this. They didn’t need to make it perfect. They just had to speak their heart and Anne would hear it.
They almost deleted everything they’d typed but decided against it. Even if what Mars had typed was too long and winding to be helpful, it was the truth of how they felt about Anne. They wanted to keep it safe, even if just for their own sake. They closed their laptop and stretched before flopping onto their bed.
It was strange to think that they’d be leaving this apartment in just a few days, forever exiting a place they’d spent so much of their time. The once-familiar space was already starting to feel uncomfortable in its half-packed state. It should’ve made Mars feel anxious, but they felt more ready for this change than they ever had before. There was so much waiting for them in LA. Maybe a lot of things were uncertain, but they knew there’d be two people they could always count on. And that was enough.
Notes:
i've officially worked through my backlog of chapters and am still working on writing 14 (it's gonna be over 3000 words and its arguably the most important chapter, so it's taking me more time), so hopefully more chapters will be up soon if i find the time to write! 14 and 15 are kinda gonna be the climax to the story with 16-18 wrapping everything up. hope y'all enjoy! these last set of chapters are def my favorites.
Chapter 14: confession
Summary:
Sasha and Marcy finally tell Anne how they feel
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Anne tapped her fingers absently on the seat as she stared out the bus window. She was on her way to meet Sasha and Marcy and she had a bad feeling that they were about to talk about something big. Their texts had been vague, but Anne knew them too well. She didn’t know what it was, but today seemed important.
It’s probably some stupid relationship shit a cynical voice said in her head. Anne tried to brush that thought away. It had been happening a lot lately, ever since Marcy had moved back to LA. She found herself thinking about Sasha and Marcy with undeserved twinges of irritation and resentment. It wasn’t as though things between them had been awkward. Far from it. In the few times they’d hung out since helping Marcy move, things had been shockingly normal between them all. Anne had never felt pushed away or unwelcome, never felt like a third wheel, but it didn’t seem to matter. She felt annoyance flash through her whenever she thought about them.
She thought back to the day they’d moved Marcy into their new apartment. Sasha had planned everything as meticulously as he could to help make things easier for Marcy. Anne had expected to be working so hard that there wouldn’t even be time for awkwardness, but Sasha, anticipating everyone working themselves to the point of exhaustion, had forced them to take an hour off and go out for lunch. Anne had wanted to stay mostly quiet during lunch, but Sasha and Marcy kept bringing her into the conversation. It had been nice- nothing had felt forced between the three of them, and Anne had actually found herself having fun. But there had been a moment when Marcy started going on about Qin dynasty art and Sasha started staring at them. Anne didn’t think for a second that he cared that much about ceramics. But it didn’t matter. He was spellbound. The look on his face as he listened had been so captivated and soft. It should’ve made Anne feel good, seeing her best friends so happy. But all she’d felt was that unwarranted stab of irritation. She’d brushed it off in the moment.
Later that night, after everything had finally been more or less moved in, Sasha and Mars had fallen asleep on the couch next to each other. Anne had watched them, Mars’s head against Sasha’s shoulder, hands lightly twined together, legs overlapping. She had wanted so badly to smile at that moment between them, but she couldn’t. The more she had watched them, the more she’d drowned in an overwhelming sense of sorrow. She had tried so hard to stop the tears from coming, but they had risen up inside her and wouldn’t stop. Even though there wasn’t a bus for twenty minutes, she’d escaped silently from the apartment and waited outside, shivering in the brisk air. She’d forgotten her coat on Mars’s couch, but going back upstairs wasn’t an option. She couldn’t bring herself to face that quiet moment of peace that she so desperately longed for.
And maybe that was the source of all the confused feelings she’d been having. Even though she was only twenty-three, the loneliness she held felt like it would last her entire life. Maybe even after her life had ended. Anne knew she was quick to care for someone but slow to fall in love. She wanted to be patient, but sometimes…sometimes she felt like it would never happen. That she’d never find someone to share life with because Anne’s life was so drastically different than everyone else’s. That she was too burdened with the knowledge of her own life and death to ever be able to share that with someone else. That the only people she had ever even considered telling had found each other and she didn’t know if there was room for her secrets anymore. Anne wanted that to be the whole story, but even that didn’t seem to encompass what she was feeling.
This pattern of confusing feelings had marked the past few weeks. Sasha and Mars would suggest doing something together, Anne would cautiously agree, she would end up actually having fun, and then…something would happen. There’d be some small thing, a fleeting glance, a brushed hand, a kiss on the cheek, and the sight of it made Anne’s insides twist. She couldn’t make sense of what she was feeling, some strange roiling blend of jealousy, sorrow, longing, and heartache that never mixed together into a concrete answer.
It wasn’t that Anne wanted them to break up. She didn’t know why them being together had her feeling so mixed up, but the idea of them splitting apart somehow felt even worse. God, I hope that’s not what today is about , Anne thought. I do not want to mediate a breakup between those two.
Was that really what today was about? Anne didn’t think it was likely. Did they just need relationship advice? Were they in a fight and wanted to get Anne’s opinion? She hoped not. She was not about to get stuck in between their issues.
Anne sighed as she watched the city pass by. She didn’t know why she was assuming today had something to do with Sasha and Marcy’s relationship at all. They had just asked her to meet them at this park and had refused to elaborate. Maybe Sasha had gotten a dog. Maybe Marcy was celebrating starting the final arc of their webcomic. Anne didn’t need to blow this out of proportion before she even saw them.
Anne pulled the cord for her stop and stepped out of the bus, gazing around for any sign of her friends. She looked at her phone and saw they’d sent her a text a few minutes early, saying they were set up under a tree at the northwest corner of the park. Anne started walking in that direction towards two seated figures she assumed were them.
As Anne approached, she was surprised by what she saw. Mars and Sasha were sitting on a picnic blanket. There was a bouquet of pink and blue flowers and a few trays of sliced fruit laid out in front of them. They were dressed nicer than Anne had expected. Sasha was wearing a sleeveless black turtleneck tucked into burgundy pants with a pair of black docs. His hair was pushed behind his ears to reveal black heart-shaped earrings. Mars’s outfit stood in a nice contrast to his, their light green and white button down tucked into light jeans and completed by their jean jacket. They’d tied their hair back except for a few strands of hair that hung delicately around their face. Anne glanced down at her own outfit. High-rise jean shorts, a white/light blue/light green/dark gray striped button down, brown sandals, and white cat earrings. She knew Sasha and Mars didn’t care what she wore, but she was still glad she hadn’t shown up in a t-shirt.
They both waved when they saw Anne approaching. Anne waved back with a slight frown. Sasha looked nervous and was doing a bad job of hiding it. Mars looked calm and happy at first glance, but Anne noticed them tapping their fingers lightly in their lap. She sat down opposite them on the blanket, even more uncertain about what was coming.
“Soooo,” Anne started. “Are you guys gonna tell me what the hell this is all about?”
Anne had meant to sound lighthearted, but her words had come out bothered instead. Sasha looked even more nervous as he glanced towards Mars.
“We, uh, have something we want to tell you,” Mars said with a glance back over to Sssha.
“What did you want to tell me?” Anne replied. She still didn’t know what to make of this.
“It’s…kind of a lot. Do you want to eat a bit first? I tried to cook something but I got a little bit distracted by this debate that was happening on the Vagabondia Chronicles Discord and it got totally burnt. So I brought this fruit instead!” Marcy said.
“Oh, uh, I’m not super hungry,” Anne lied. She was feeling uncharacteristically dismissive. She just wanted whatever this was to be over.
“Oh, uh, okay!” Marcy said nervously, looking over to Sasha. “Sash, do you..”
“Uh, yeah okay, guess we can just…dive right into it,” Sasha said awkwardly. He took a breath.“So I know that ever since Mars and I started dating, things between the three of us have been a bit…different. Mars and I have been trying really hard to keep things feeling normal, but that’s never felt totally fair to you. Things have changed. We need to talk about it,” Sasha said seriously. They were all silent for a moment.
“Okay, so…are we gonna talk about it?” Anne asked. She didn’t feel like trying to take the lead in this conversation if she didn’t know where it was going to end.
“Oh, uh, sorry, I wasn’t sure if there was anything you wanted to say first,” Marcy replied.
“No,” Anne said. That was a lie. There was so much she wanted to say, so much frustration and sadness and confusion and isolation that she was feeling, but no matter what words she tried to plan in her head, none of them seemed to strike at the heart of the problem. She didn’t even know what the heart of the problem was.
“Are you sure?” Sasha asked. Anne nodded but didn’t reply.
“Alright,” Sasha said with a shrug. “So I guess everything that changed started a couple months after Marcy moved, way back in middle school. Before Amphibia, you were probably the only thing keeping Marcy and I together. I mean…you know what I was like back then,” he said with a small grimace. “After they moved and I was still trying to figure out how to live on Earth again, we started texting a lot. Honestly, until maybe junior year of high school, they were pretty much the only person that I talked to that I actually cared about. Even when we started making other friends, we talked all the time because we’d finally realized we actually liked each other for each other, you know? We’d never realized how much we had in common or how much we needed each other before. And that just…never changed. No matter where life took us, we always had one another to turn to. Somewhere along the line, we fell in love with each other without ever really realizing it. When it finally felt like something could actually happen between us, well…you know what happened next.”
Anne was quiet. In her grief, she needed a break from Sasha and Marcy, and that was what had pushed them together, what had led to…this. If she hadn’t pushed them away, then…what? They wouldn’t have gotten together? Maybe they wouldn’t have even gotten close? Is that really what Anne wanted for her best friends? To be the most important person to either of them, to be the glue holding them together? To be so needed by both of them? Was she really still so selfish? Was it even that selfish to want to be so needed by her best friends? Anne’s thoughts were swirling and she couldn’t pick anything rational from the midst.
“But none of that would’ve happened without you, Anne,” Marcy said, cutting across the roil in her mind. Anne looked into Marcy’s eyes and clung desperately to the light shining in them.
“You’re the one who taught me to love people how they need it, not the way I want it,” Sasha said. “You showed me how to forgive and…how to earn the forgiveness of others.”
“Anne, you showed me how to see and love people for who they are, but also how to love and value myself for the person that I am. You remind me that I deserve to be loved as much as anyone else,” Marcy said.
“We wouldn’t be the people we are without you, Anne. You’ve changed our lives. When we thought we’d lost you…” Sasha trailed off, looking at Marcy.
“It was the scariest moment of my life,” Marcy said simply.
But they had lost part of her that day and they didn’t even realize it. Anne lost a part of herself that day. She’d faced her destiny more plainly than anyone ever had before and still somehow came out of it a thirteen year old girl with the rest of her life left to live. And how could she ever fully live a life that slowly marched towards a marked, inevitable, and utterly lonely end? How could any of it ever feel worth it when she knew what was waiting at the close? She so desperately wanted to love people, to find joy in every person she met, but how could she when she knew that they’d all eventually be ripped away from her? Losing Wartwood had crushed her. Losing the Plantars had been unbearable. How could she go through life, constantly reliving that ache, only to be broken even more by the knowledge that it would all get worse the sooner she got to her death?
“I know we said that we didn’t want this to change anything between the three of us, but that isn’t really true. Things are changing, and we don’t want them to change in a way that makes us lose you,” Sasha said, cutting across Anne’s despairing thoughts.
“We want you to always be in our lives, Anne. However that looks, whatever form that takes, we just want you to be there,” Marcy said earnestly.
“But…we realized there’s one way we want you in our lives more than anything,” Sasha said, starting to look nervous once more. Anne frowned. Something in her chest bubbled warmly with anticipation, as though her heart knew where this was headed before her mind had a chance to catch up.
“So…” Marcy said, then paused. They glanced at Sasha. “Wait. I feel like I’m forgetting something.”
“No, I think that was everything we wanted to lead with,” Sasha countered.
“I just want to make sure!” Mars replied. They reached into their jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of paper that they unfolded. Sasha learned over and they scanned it together.
“Did you two…write a script for this?” Anne asked incredulously.
“No,” Sasha said.
“Yes,” Mars said at the same time. Sasha shot them a look.
“It’s not a script! It’s just…a few notes,” he said defensively.
“An outline!” Mars added excitedly. Sasha groaned. Anne almost laughed, but stopped herself. They were both hopeless.
“Okay, so that was the lead up to…?” Anne questioned, trailing off.
“Um! We, uh,” Mars started. Mars and Sasha gave each yet another nervous look. Sasha’s face was quickly turning red and Mars was starting to look flushed as well.
“We…we don’t just want you in our life as our friend,” Sasha stammered. He was sweating.
“We want things to be all three of us. Together,” Mars added. They were drumming their fingers aggressively against the blanket.
“What do you mean?” Anne asked, and that feeling in her chest grew. She thought something in the back of her mind might know the answer, but it was as if her brain had turned off. She needed to hear it out loud.
“All three of us. Together. Dating,” Sasha managed to get out.
“All...all three of us?” Anne asked quietly.
“Yes,” Sasha and Mars quickly said in unison. They stared at her anxiously.
“I-” Anne started, but she had no idea what she was trying to say. Her brain was moving too quickly for words. She could barely see the two of them sitting in front of her. Was it possible that all this time, her best friends had been in love with her and she’d never known? Or had some part of her known all along? Did she love them back? Was this it, the answer to all the confusion and anger and desperation that had been plaguing her? She didn’t know. It was all too much.
“I-I’m not sure,” Anne managed to get out. Mars and Sasha’s faces fell slightly. She wished they’d look away, look anywhere but towards her. She felt a flash of annoyance in the tangle of her emotions. How could she give them an answer so quickly? She was watching more than fifteen years of friendship reformulate before her eyes.
“I just- I thought you two were- do you both actually love me?” Anne asked doubtfully.
“Of course we do,” Sasha said earnestly.
“How could we not?” Mars said with a small, sad smile.
“But-” Anne stumbled, gesturing between the two of them. They glanced at one another.
“Anne, I’ve loved you since we were thirteen,” Sasha replied with a wistful smile. “Even when we didn’t talk much, even when I dated other people, part of me always just wanted to come back to you.”
“Honestly, I think I’ve loved you since we were little kids,” Marcy said, laughing slightly. “The longer I knew you, the harder I fell. Loving you just felt so natural that it took me years to figure out what it really was.”
“I know Marcy and I ended up together first, but it…took us a long time to find each other. But you?”
“We’ve always loved you, Anne. You’re our favorite person in the world,” Marcy said softly.
Anne still didn’t know what to say. Sasha and Marcy were digging up the broken pieces of all the feelings Anne had spent years hiding from. She was barely ready to take them, let alone put them together into an answer she could hand back to them. She wanted to take them gingerly, clean them, caress them, go slow so she wouldn’t cut herself on the edges. She wanted to look them over, figure out which way they were supposed to fit together, and stick them back together with care. She wanted time.
“I love you guys too, it’s just…I don’t know if I’m…” Anne started. She took a deep breath. “I need more time. It’s a lot to think about. I can’t give you an answer yet.”
“It’s okay, Anne,” Sasha replied.
“We didn’t really expect you to know right away,” Marcy said kindly.
“Really? You guys have been, like, staring at me this whole time,” Anne replied. Sasha and Marcy immediately blushed and looked away. Anne couldn’t help it this time. She laughed. Even in all her confusion, the two of them still made her happy. All that resentment from earlier had already disappeared. She wasn’t quite sure what feeling had replaced it. Anne stood.
“Well. I’m gonna head home,” Anne said. She was surprised by her own calm. She still didn’t know what she was feeling, but the turmoil of before had been replaced by a quiet sense of purpose. She felt like she finally had a destination, even if she didn’t know what it was yet. “I’ll let you guys know when I’ve…figured things out.” She turned to leave.
“Wait!” Sasha said, grabbing the flowers and standing. He held the bouquet out to Anne expectantly. Anne stared at the flowers, then at him. Behind him, Marcy put their head in their hands. Anne resisted the urge to scoff. Then she realized she didn’t care and rolled her eyes at him. Anne took the bouquet from Sasha and he beamed. He looked over his shoulder and smiled triumphantly at Marcy, who was staring at him with amused disbelief. Anne snorted and shook her head before turning and walking away, staring absently at the pink, blue, and green in her hands as she went.
Notes:
sorry i've got so much on my plate right now so this took a hot minute! i'm about halfway through chapter 15 right now so hopefully i can keep posting a chapter every week and a half or so >:)
but yes! this chapter and the next delve into a lot of what i imagine anne has been going through for the past ten years so i hope y'all enjoy :)
Chapter 15: dear sprig
Summary:
Anne finally opens up to her three best friends.
Notes:
thank you to everyone who's been reading this! i honestly went into this just wanting to write this for me, so the fact that people have enjoyed it and left such kind comments means the world! this is kinda the climax of the story? the last three chapters will be wrapping things up nicely :) semester is getting more intense so writing might get even slower, but it'll happen eventually!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The last three days had been calm. Quiet. Almost shockingly so. Anne had spent the past few weeks feeling like she was drowning, constantly struggling to keep her head above the sadness that threatened to pull her down in its depths. After Sasha and Marcy’s confession, she’d found herself someplace new. It felt like wandering alone through a forest- maybe it was a bit lonely, maybe the fear of being lost sometimes crept in, but it was also peaceful. Full of life. Anne could see the sun peeking through the canopy as she went.
Now, she’d found herself in a clearing. She wasn’t out of the woods yet, she didn’t have a complete answer, but she could see the sun. That was enough. She sat down at her computer and started writing a letter to her three best friends.
Dear Sprig,
This letter is going to be a bit different. I wasn’t in a very good place when I wrote to you a few weeks ago. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve been in a very good place for a long time. But I think I’m starting to figure things out. I think things are going to get better. But I’ve got to take the first step towards making that happen.
So I know I said these letters would only be between us, but…I’m showing this one to Sasha and Marcy. Just them. Just this one letter. Then it’s back to just being between us. Or…just between me. For now. I’m still holding onto the hope that I can give you these someday. A written history of all the things you’ve missed in my life. Almost ten years of sharing some of my hardest feelings only with you, and I’ve still never technically told anyone. But the things I’m going to say in this letter…I have to stop carrying them alone. Or else I’m never going to live. Not fully. Not properly. Not happily. I have to let myself share this burden.
So I guess you need some background. A lot’s been happening lately and it’s all kinda the reason I’m finally ready to talk. You know that Sasha and Marcy started dating and I had…mixed feelings about it. Maybe mixed is an understatement. Suffice to say, I was not dealing with it well and I didn’t really know why. At first, everything just kinda blended together into feeling sad. Then I started to get angry. Every time I was around them, I’d just kinda bounce back and forth between feeling pissed and feeling…empty. I wasn’t really getting over it because I didn’t fully get why everything was making me feel so bad.
And then, three days ago…they asked me out. Sasha and Marcy. They said that they were in love with each other, but they were also both in love with me. Which was…yeah. “A lot” feels like an understatement. Like, how does someone even respond to that? Well, I know you’d want me to immediately say “no,” especially to Sasha, but unfortunately it’s not that easy. I do love them. I love them more than almost anyone else. Which is why I need to finally start talking about everything that’s happened.
I guess I’ll start with the stuff you sorta already know. Leaving Amphibia. The weird thing is, I felt so confident that I was making the right choice that day. It was like…I had already accepted that I was going to die. I had already decided to say goodbye to everyone, on Earth or on Amphibia. So when I got a…second chance, I did what I thought was “correct.” I’d gone to a new world, become a hero, saved the day, and then…I was supposed to go home, right? Amphibia wasn’t my world, I had a life waiting for me on Earth, so going back was the “right” thing to do. I never thought about what home really meant to me. Not until I had already made my choice.
When I got back to Earth, I just kinda…shut down. For a long time. Earth wasn’t really home anymore, but neither was Amphibia. Home was people. It was my parents, it was Hop Pop, it was Polly, and it was you, Sprig. My best friend. I had to choose only half of my family, half of my home, and I just got kinda stuck in the fear that I’d made the wrong choice. But it was too late, right? It didn’t matter if I realized I’d chosen wrong because there was nothing I could ever do about it. I couldn’t keep thinking about you. I couldn’t keep thinking about all the people I’d left behind forever. So I just…ran away from it all. I stopped talking to Sasha, I stopped talking to Marcy, and I never talked to anyone about what happened in Amphibia. Anything that reminded me of what I’d lost just hurt too much.
So that was part of it, I guess. I pushed everyone away because I couldn’t handle being reminded of all the people I’d chosen to leave behind. After about a year, I started making peace with the choice I made. I finally opened up a bit to my parents, I started reconnecting with the Thai community, and…I started writing to you, Sprig. All of it helped. Slowly. It still hurt to think about you all, but the pain started to twist into something more bittersweet. Even if I wasn’t physically there with you anymore, I still had everything I’d learned, all the memories I’d made.
So I decided to try to live again. I made new friends, I tried new things, I pushed myself. But I was never completely back. I was still running from some things. I was still scared of Sasha and Marcy. They were the only two that knew I’d died and come back. I never even told my parents. I couldn’t. I haven’t been able to tell anyone for ten years. Not even you, Sprig. What happened then…I still don’t know how to live with it. I’ve been doing my best, I’ve been trying to carry it alone, but I can’t anymore. All it’s ever done is drag me down, pull me away from living life as fully as I want to. I don’t know if telling people is going to change that. I don’t know if it’ll make it easier. But it’s all I have left.
When I made the decision to use all three stones, I died. Completely. My body crumbled to ash and I was gone. The body I have now…well, let me just walk you through everything that happened.
After I died, I woke up in front of a little house that was floating in space. I went inside and I met someone. They calmed themself a “cosmic deity” and…they took the form of Domino. Like, the cat. Seriously. Didn’t want to get pet, though, which sucked. Like, c’mon dude, I JUST died. Least you could do was let me pet my precious baby cat. Uh. Anyways.
They said that they were the Guardian of all the worlds in the multiverse. Like, seriously. I don’t actually know what that job really entails, to be honest with you. But they were powerful. And old. Like, probably millions of years old at minimum. And they’d created the stones. Why? Why make something so powerful and dangerous and place it in the hands of people bound to exploit it? As a test. A goddamn test. They wanted to see if mortals could handle that kind of power and use it for good, and once they found someone that did, well. They could retire. They could hand the title of Guardian of All The Worlds to someone else.
Well. I passed. I was the first. Those stones had spent thousands of years enabling so much suffering in the name of finding the Guardian a replacement, just for them to try and hand the title to me. A fucking thirteen year old and, apparently, the only good thing to come out of that bullshit system in ten thousand years. And they were trying to shove this all on me right then and there. One good choice, and suddenly that qualified me for nearly infinite power and wisdom that was apparently so unbearable that the old Guardian wanted to quit.
So I told them that. I was thirteen. For every good choice I’d made, I’d made dozens of bad ones. I’d just died, just said goodbye to everyone I’d ever loved. I wasn’t qualified. I wasn’t ready. I was young and alone and scared. So they gave me a deal.
The Guardian made a copy of my body when I died. I don’t know exactly what that entails, to be honest with you. Like, I don’t THINK it makes me a zombie, but who knows? So they gave me a choice. I could use the copy of my body and go back. I’d live a full life. I’d grow more, I’d learn more, and when I died, I’d take the Guardian's place. How do I know I’d live a “full” life on Earth before dying again? It told me when I’ll die.
So, yeah. Burden of knowledge and purpose and my own mortality and all of that. I know when I’ll die, I know what eternity will look like after I die, and in the meantime, I get to live in a body that may not even be “mine” while my fate constantly looms over me.
That’s it. That’s why I don’t connect with people like I used to. That’s why I push everyone away. That’s why I pushed Sasha and Marcy away. Because it feels like there’s no point. And I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard to feel like there’s a point to all of this. To life. But I can’t. How do I make connections, form a community, fall in love, any of it, when I know it’ll all be ripped away in the end? When I know that I’ll be doomed to a fate that is so intensely lonely that even godly powers don't make it any easier? If I keep my distance from people, at least that might make it hurt less when the end comes, right?
But I’m sick of it. I’m so goddamn sick of it. I am so sad so much of the time. I’m lonely. I want to love people, I want to live joyfully, I want to make mistakes and have fun and fuck things up and not feel the weight of the universe behind every choice I make. But I don’t know how. Not alone.
And I know this is so much bigger than what Sasha and Marcy asked me, but somehow that was the tipping point. Ever since I took those three stones in my hand, I’ve felt so much pressure to always make the right choices. To grow up. To be mature. Because if I don’t, it’s not just my own life at stake. It’ll be the universe. And falling right back to the people you found as a little kid isn’t growing up, is it? Isn’t that just me clinging to the past, holding on to some old version of myself that I need to let go of in order to fulfill my potential? I told myself that I had to mature, had to move on. I couldn’t be in love with my childhood best friends. I couldn’t.
But I am. Goddamnit, I am. I am so in love with both of them. And I am so tired of running from it. Love isn’t just a feeling, Sprig. It’s a choice. And somehow we keep choosing each other time and time again. They haven’t always been the easiest to love. God knows I haven’t been either. But somehow, we’re still okay. We still find each other.
So, Sasha and Marcy, I guess that’s my answer. Yes. I want to try. I want it to be the three of us, back together again. But I guess it won’t be the same as before, will it? We’ve all changed a lot. I think I’m only just starting to appreciate how much. In some ways it feels like we’re completely different people, but in other ways it feels like we’re exactly the same. Weird, huh? Do people ever actually change, or do they just do better than they did yesterday? I’m not sure. Maybe it doesn’t matter. Maybe we just need to choose to try.
I guess that’s what I’m doing. I’m choosing to try. I’m choosing to live. I’m choosing to love. And I know it’s not enough to just say that. That won’t magically make things better. But it’s a good start, right? To finally open up again. To try living in the present. To reclaim all the old parts of me that I want back and reshape them to match who I am now. Maybe that’s not a complete answer, but it’s enough to start.
Don’t worry, Sprig. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t think I’ll ever stop writing to you. The more time passes, the harder it is to believe that I’ll see you again, but…I’m not giving up hope. I’ve got…well, I won’t say how many years, but I’ve got a lot of time left. I know I’ll find my way back to you someday. In the meantime, I have you in my heart. Keeping me going when things are tough. And it’s the best gift in the world.
Love,
Anne.
~~~
Watching them read the letter was maybe one of the most nerve-wracking things Anne had ever done. Sasha and Mars sat on her couch reading it while Anne sat in a chair across from them. She could tell exactly where they were in the letter based on their expressions. Surprise, apprehension, nostalgia, sadness, and then…horror. And the looks of horror kept growing. They looked up at her, their eyes stunned and wide, but Anne silently gestured for them to keep reading. She wanted them to see it all before they said anything.
And as they read, the looks of horror didn’t disappear, but Anne saw a warm sense of hope start to rise on their faces. Their eyes scrunched and they smiled sadly at the words before them. Anne watched Sasha try to quietly wipe the tears from her eyes. And then they finished and looked up and Anne met their eyes for the first time in days. All it took was one look and Anne broke.
Sasha and Mars reached out their arms and Anne collapsed into them. She sobbed. There was nothing else left to be said, nothing else left hidden. All she could do was finally, finally cry into the arms of her best friends. And there, wrapped in their warm embrace, sobbing into their shoulders, feeling a soft kiss being pressed into her curls, Anne finally started to feel like things might be okay.
Notes:
hope y'all enjoyed! i've always loved the idea that anne did something to "keep in contact" with sprig even after they left amphibia and i wanted to find a way to make her friendship with sprig an important part of the story even if he isn't physically in her life anymore.
also i'm gonna be annoying and plug my amphibia playlists lmao (songs are in an intentional order!).
sashannarcy: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4URQa5vba156VwJIY4EaMb?si=4bb0069fad9b4d1f
sashanne: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5SGSDJrnzNhUMjYKTMfmbu?si=6a34a5a46d6d4daa
Chapter 16: museum date
Summary:
Anne and Marcy go on their first proper date to an art museum
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Anne thought over the past two weeks as she rode the bus to her date with Marcy. She was still adjusting to her new reality- the fact that Sasha and Marcy finally knew everything that she’d been going through, the fact that Sasha and Marcy were her…partners? It still felt weird to think about all of it, but it also sent a little thrill through her chest every time she remembered. It was still terrifying to be known so plainly, but so far it felt better than hiding. Anne sighed and thought about the conversation she’d had with her parents a few nights before.
She’d finally told them everything that had happened after she went back to Amphibia. This time, she did her best to explain it all to them out loud. It had been easier to talk about now that she wasn’t carrying it alone. They were…surprised, to say the least, but they took it well. Anne could tell it was a lot for them to take in, but everything they said had helped her feel a bit more normal. Anne smiled to herself. It never stopped surprising Anne how her parents found ways to support her through even the weirdest of times. Her dad had already started joking about Anne giving him the powers from his favorite video game and her mom tutted about the ridiculous test that the Guardian had come up with. It meant more than Anne knew how to say. It made the whole thing feel a bit smaller. It reminded her that she was still human.
Funnily enough, she still hadn’t told her parents that she was dating Sasha and Marcy. Somehow, that felt harder than saying that she was literally becoming god after she died. It kind of made sense- the three of them were still figuring things out. The night Anne had given them the letter was too emotional for Anne to do much more than cry. She hadn’t wanted to be alone, so Marcy and Sasha spent that night at her apartment. She and Marcy had shared her bed, same as they had when they were little kids, and Sasha slept on the floor next to them.
When they woke up the next morning, they had talked more. It had mostly been about their relationship. Anne knew they probably had more questions about all the Guardian and dying stuff, but she’d needed a break. She had wanted to try focusing on the present for once.
So she told them that she wants to go slow. Really slow. She knows this is what she wants, but that doesn’t mean it's not a lot to adjust to. She’s fine with Sasha and Mars still doing their thing at their own pace. Anne lost a lot of her impulsivity after Amphibia, but Sasha and Mars still tend to dive into things straight on. Honestly, Anne wouldn’t be surprised if they got engaged within a few months. That’s just how they are. But that’s definitely not how she is.
So, they’re going to keep some things normal, at least for now. They’ll all hang out like they used to, keeping things platonic on Anne’s end. Jumping into dating two people, even her best friends, is a big jump. So right now she’s going on a date with Mars. Just the two of them. They had both laughed about Anne keeping Sasha waiting longer than Mars.
Funnily enough, their first date isn’t the aquarium. The new exhibit got delayed a few months and neither of them wanted to wait that long. Anne perked up as the bus stopped outside the art museum. She could already see Mars sitting on the museum steps, tapping their feet as they waited. Anne dashed off the bus and made their way towards them.
“Hey Mars!” Anne called excitedly as she got to the stairs. Mars looked up and grinned, jumping to their feet and stumbling in their haste to greet Anne. Anne grabbed their shoulders to keep them from face planting into the concrete.
“Haha, whoops. Thanks Anna banana!” Marcy said with a chuckle. Anee laughed and pulled them into a hug that they enthusiastically returned.
“Okay, so, Anne, how much do you keep up with the exhibits here?” Marcy asked as they broke apart.
“Uhh, not that much, to be honest, why?” Marcy’s eyes shone.
“Welllll, I think you’ll really like the last exhibit we go to,” Marcy said with a sly grin.
“Ooh, what’s it going to be?” Anne asked excitedly.
“Nope! No spoilers!” Marcy announced before turning towards the entrance. “C’mon! There’s so many sections I want to visit!”
Anne followed after them gladly. She was grateful Marcy hadn’t tried to hold her hand, even if it seemed like the natural thing to do. They’d held hands hundreds of times before, a lot less since Marcy had moved, but it felt different now. Not just because they were together, but because Marcy knew that Anne's body…well. It wasn’t the same hand Marcy had grown up holding. Anne wanted it to happen on her own terms and she was glad Marcy was leaving it entirely up to her.
Anne was feeling a bit nervous as she followed Marcy into the museum, but it melted away as they led her to the first wing. Anne had never thought of herself as much of an art person, but the works Marcy was showing her took her breath away. Piece after piece moved Anne in ways she didn’t know how to express. And there was Marcy the whole time, telling her the beautiful and tragic backgrounds of all of their favorite works that they were finally getting to see in person. If Anne hadn’t been so enraptured by the art, she might’ve spent the whole day watching Marcy gush about all the pieces around them. After a few hours, Marcy turned towards Anne seriously.
“Okay, Anna banana. Do you trust me?” Mars asked.
“Uhhh…yes?” Anne said, uncertain where this was going.
“Okay, good,” Mars said, holding out their elbow for Anne to link into. “Now close your eyes and follow me to the surprise exhibit!”
Anne did as she was told, letting herself be pulled along blindly by Mars’s arm into the next room. She felt it get louder and brighter as they entered. It seemed to be stuffed with people and full of light.
“Okay, open your eyes!” Mars said excitedly. Anne opened her eyes and was speechless. It was full of frogs. Massive sculptures, some as big as she was, on white podiums throughout the entire room. They were some of the strangest frogs Anne had ever seen- spindly metal smoothly transitioning to bulbous colorful glass that sparkled in the sunlight streaming in from the skylights above. All their features were exaggerated, limbs shrinking down to thin metal shafts before ballooning again into massive, vibrant glass bubbles.
“It’s amazing,” Anne whispered softly.
“You like it?” Mars asked, watching Anne with a smile on their face.
“I- I love it,” Anne sighed, spinning around to scan the room. There, on the other side of the room, was a bright pink frog. Anne gasped and grabbed Mars by the hand, pulling them towards the frog that felt so familiar.
“Heh, I thought you’d like this one,” Mars rattled off as Anne tugged them along. “This was actually one of the first pieces the artist made in this series! They were really inspired when they realized just how bright and colorful some frogs are and they really wanted to capture that vibrancy in something three-dimensional to really exaggerate and show off how freaky some frogs’ features are! Their very first piece was actually…”
As they kept talking, Anne felt more and more aware of Mars’s hand in her own. It had felt so natural to grab it in the moment, but as they stood, Anne couldn’t help thinking. Did Mars realize these weren’t the same hands they had grown up holding? Could they feel the difference? Were all those memories they had in some way gone with the flesh that had turned to dust?
“Anne? Are you okay?” Mars asked, noticing how Anne’s excitement had been so suddenly extinguished.
“It’s nothing, I just-” Anne started, then stopped herself. No more running. She had to start being honest with the people she loves. “It’s just…” Anne gestured with their clasped hands. “Something about this still scares me, you know? These aren’t the same hands you used to hold…” Mars’s eyes widened in realization, then softened.
“Maybe they’re not quite the same, but…I know they’re still yours. I can tell,” Mars replied with a soft smile.
“How can you tell?” Anne asked quietly.
“I’m not sure. But even if I couldn’t see you, I would know which hands are yours,” Mars rubbed their thumb on Anne’s knuckles. “You’re the same Anne I’ve always loved.”
“I’m still so scared of all of it, Mars,” Anne said.
“The future?” Mars asked. Anne nodded. “I’ve…been scared of the future a lot, too. I know it’s not really the same, but I’ve spent the past few years scared of what I might do after I wrap up my webcomic. I still am, to be honest with you. I don’t know what I want to do next, and it’s hard to know what will be ‘worth it’ in the end. But…I’ve got you. I’ve got Sasha. It’s okay if I don’t know what’s coming next or if I make a big mistake. I just have to live and let myself…exist in the present, you know? Try to find happiness with whatever is happening now instead of always worrying about what’s coming next. I know that’s not always easy, but…we want to help you. Sasha and I. We want to do whatever we can to make the present feel happy.”
“Thanks, Mars,” Anne said, squeezing their hand softly. “I’m just…scared I’ll never be ready for it, you know?”
“Well, you’ve got time, right? And besides, when the time comes, you can always just say no, right?” Anne turned towards them, confused.
“I…what?” Anne said.
“I mean, what’s to stop you from saying no again, right? If you’re not ready? I mean, you’ll already be dead anyways, so it can’t exactly dangle that threat over your head. Unless…is there a hell? Can it send you to hell if you say no? Or like…super-hell? Is that even a thing? I mean, hopefully not, that’d be a really dick move coming from the “guardian of the universe” but I guess you can never be sure with these god-types…”
“I…I’d never thought of that,” Anne said, eyes widening. And weren’t they right? When it came down to it, if she still wasn’t up for the job, why couldn't she just refuse again?
It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Why had it never occurred to her that maybe her future wasn’t set in stone? That she still had power over her choices? Getting a second chance had made things seem so definite, but were they really? Maybe Anne had some control over her life after all.
Anne felt impossibly light, younger than she had in ten years. She hadn’t realized just how old she had felt, as though every day her inevitable future was just around the corner. She was just twenty-three! She had so much time, so much life to live. Wasn’t she still just human? Weren’t these still her hands, still Mars’s hands clasped in hers, the same hands they’d held so many times as little kids? Anne suddenly found tears pouring down her face. Wasn’t it just so beautiful to just be alive?
“Anne, are you okay?” Marcy asks, dropping Anne’s hand. Anne can’t even answer. She just reaches down, clasping both of Marcy’s hands around her own and lifting them up between them, smiling as she continues to cry.
“I just…never even thought that I could say no,” Anne managed to choke out. Marcy smiled softly and Anne wrapped them in a tight hug, trying to say everything she couldn’t put into words.
As they broke apart again, they held hands once more and Marcy led her around the exhibit. Tears kept quietly streaming down her face as they looked at all the sculptures. Anne was getting a few strange looks from people, but she didn’t care. She felt more alive, more free than she had felt in so long. Why should it matter what other people think? As they looked at a purple frog, Anne thinking about what Polly might look like now that she’s grown, a kid walked up to Marcy.
“Uh…is she okay?” the kid asked, pointing at the tears shining on Anne’s face.
“Oh, Anne?” Marcy replied. “She’s fine! She just really loves frogs.” Anne started laughing and couldn’t stop, especially when Marcy started laughing alongside her. Their laughter echoed around the room, drawing disapproving stares from some people standing nearby. They half-ran out of the exhibit and into the gardens, certain that they would end up kicked out if they kept making a scene inside the museum.
They sat down on a bench together, their laughter finally trailing off as they met each other’s eyes. It seemed like the perfect moment for Anne to kiss them, and yet…
“I feel like I should kiss you right now, but…I don’t know if I’m ready,” Anne admitted quietly. Marcy squeezed her hand.
“That’s okay, Anne. You don’t have to be ready yet,” Marcy said with a smile.
“I know, I just feel bad! I already kissed Sasha back in high school and now I’m still making you wait!”
“Well, unlike Sasha, I’m not gonna get all jealous and upset, okay? I’m just happy I get to go on a date with the Anne Boonchuy!” Mars replied. Anne laughed.
“Oh man, how upset was she that I was going on a date with you first?”
“She tried to play it chill but she was definitely a bit jealous,” Mars replied with a chuckle. They both started laughing again before Anne abruptly pulled Mars into a hug.
“Thanks, Mars,” Anne whispered softly into their ear.
“What for?” they replied, surprised.
“Just..helping me feel normal again,” Anne said. Mars squeezed them back.
“I love you, Anne,” they said quietly. “Don’t feel like you have to say it back yet or anything, I just wanted you to know-”
“I love you too,” Anne said, cutting across their words. And she meant it. She didn’t have to be ready for everything that went with a relationship to be able to say that. It was just something that had always been true and always would be true. Mars let out a breath and sunk deeper into Anne’s arms. Anne and Mars pressed more than fifteen years of love into the tight embrace they held each other in, the pressure conveying more in that moment than words ever could. They clung to each other for a few moments more before standing, clasping their hands once again. They made their way back through the museum and out to the street silently.
They rode the bus in a sleepy quiet, their hands still intertwined, Mars’s head on Anne’s shoulder and Anne’s head on theirs. Anne stared at the fading orange sunlight as Mars traced lazy circles with their thumb on Anne’s hand. In the darkness of the bus, the sun fading outside and the engine humming quietly beneath them, it felt as though nobody else in the world existed except for them. Mars blinked and winced slightly as the flat bright bus lights suddenly lit up around them, bringing them back to reality. Anne squeezed their hand and turned, placing a gentle kiss on top of their head. Mars nestled tighter into Anne’s shoulder and they held each other in a dreamy peace as they rode home.
Notes:
last few chapters are going to continue to roll out slowly but i'm hoping the last two chapters will be done and posted by christmas! just gotta get through finals/final projects >:) also lmao not this hitting exactly 29000 words thats very sexy looking
Chapter 17: beach date
Summary:
Sasha and Anne go on a date at the beach.
Notes:
cw: brief mention of transphobia in the middle of the chapter
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Anne was standing outside her apartment and looking down at her phone, waiting for Sasha to pick her up for their date, when she heard something rumble to a stop in front of her.
“Hey babe, ready to have some fun?” Sasha called out. Anne looked up and laughed. Sasha had pulled up on a motorcycle and was clearly trying as hard as he could to look cool.
“Oh my god, you’re such a dork,” Anne replied with a smirk.
“Hey, Mars said this would look hot!” Sasha retorted.
“ Preeetty sure they were just teasing you, Sash,” Anne said.
“Psh, it’s fine,” Sasha said, waving his hand, but Anne was pretty sure she saw him blushing under his helmet.
“You ready to go?” Sasha asked, tossing Anne his spare helmet. Anne caught it and looked up at him suspiciously.
“Uh, don’t you need a license to drive those?”
“I mean, like, yes , but it’s fine, I know what I’m doing,” Sasha said casually.
“Mhm,” Anne replied skeptically. “Just like I ‘knew what I was doing’ when I almost got Sprig and I killed on Bessie when I was thirteen?”
“Nah, girl, I’ve taken classes,” Sasha said. Anne gave him a doubtful look. “Okay, my friend Caleb gave me a few lessons and he’s letting me borrow it. It’s no big deal!”
“Might be a big deal if we crash and die. Who’s gonna make sure Marcy remembers to eat if we’re not around, huh?”
“They’ll be fine, they survived without us for ten years. Besides, I thought you weren’t supposed to die for a long time?” Sasha countered.
“Hm, true, true. What about you, though? Domino didn’t say anything about you or Mars.”
“I’ll be careful, I promise. You ready?” Sasha said. Anne smiled and put the helmet on, climbing on behind Sasha. She’d been giving Sasha a hard time, but she was secretly excited to ride on a motorcycle. Anne wrapped her arms around Sasha's waist.
“Ready?” Sasha called back. Anne squeezed him slightly in response and they kicked off. The ride was slow at first as they slowly picked their way north through LA traffic. They were trying to get a little ways away from the city and find a beach to swim at. Anne hadn’t gone swimming since her bottom surgery and Sasha had only been cleared to swim again after his top surgery a couple months ago. Anne was jolted from her thoughts when Sasha suddenly braked.
“Hey, fuck you, buddy!” Sasha shouted at the truck that had evidently just cut them off. Anne glanced up and rolled her eyes. The truck had a bunch of American flag bumper stickers and a pair of plastic truck nuts hanging from the hitch.
“Nice balls, dickwad, you trying to compensate for something?” Sasha called, making up for the lack of horn on the bike by continuing to shout. Anne started laughing.
“Oh my god, Sash, do you want them to pull a gun on us?” Anne joked. Sasha snorted and stopped yelling. As they continued north, they stopped hitting so much traffic. Sasha started to speed up, the landscape whipping past them in a blur and the wind deafening in their ears. Anne was loving it. While they were speeding down an emptier stretch of road, Anne let go of Sasha with one arm and stuck it out sideways into the breeze.
“What the hell, Boonchuy, hold on!” Sasha shouted, alarmed.
“Hey, I know I’m not dying today!” Anne called back, but she wrapped her arm back around Sasha. Anne watched the world blur past them. It was strange to think that just a few weeks ago she hadn’t told anyone her secret. Now she was able to joke about it without trepidation. She felt like part of the child that had been lost to dust all those years ago was starting to come back. Anne was more joyful, more impulsive, more adventurous than she had been in a long time. She had grown up, sure, but she was starting to embrace some parts of the inner kid she’d spent so many years running from. She hopped off the bike excitedly as they finally pulled up at a beach.
“So I’m guessing you enjoyed it?” Sasha asked and he climbed off.
“Oh yeah. You’re gonna have to take me out on one of these again, Waybright,” Anne teased back.
“Bad luck, Marcy’s got dibs on the next time Caleb lets me borrow this,” Sasha replied as they started walking towards the beach. “Mind if we find a spot a bit further down the beach?” Sasha asked, eyeing the crowds in front of them.
“Yeah, for sure. Not in the mood to deal with people?” Anne asked.
“Ugh, definitely not. Apparently the feminine appearance minus the boobs leaves cishet guys very confused about whether or not they’re supposed to find me hot and they try to make that my problem,” Sasha said, rolling his eyes.
“Have people actually given you shit before?” Anne asked.
“Oh yeah. Couple months ago I was at the gym and this insecure dick kept flirting with me. I ended up taking my shirt off while I did my cooldown run at the end and he got super pissed about me ‘baiting’ him or some shit like that.”
“Ugh, I hate when that stuff happens. It’s ridiculous how many cis girls got super weirded out when I mentioned I was trans,” Anne replied with exasperation. “What happened next?”
“He got kicked out of the gym before I could fuck his shit up,” Sasha grumbled.
“Okay, tough guy,” Anne teased as they walked. “We’ll steer clear.” After about ten minutes, the crowds started to thin out and they set down their stuff. Sasha pulled off his shirt and pants and was left wearing only an exceedingly short pair of pink swim trunks.
“Going with the modest look, I see,” Anne joked.
“Gotta leave something for the imagination,” Sasha replied with a wink. Anne rolled her eyes with a smile and pulled her own shirt off. She’d tried wearing a bikini once after bottom surgery, but it wasn’t really her thing. She opted for something closer to a sports bra and shorts instead.
“Hey, Anne, could you get my back?” Sasha asked, tossing her the sunscreen. Anne looked up and got her first proper look at Sasha’s back tattoo. Marcy was right- he did look really hot.
“Woah, Mars was not kidding,” Anne said to herself, blushing slightly.
“What was that?” Sasha asked.
“Uh, nothing,” Anne replied, going more red. She wasn’t about to inflate Sasha’s ego by admitting she and Marcy had been texting about him looking good behind his back.
“Do you still do sword training?” Anne asked as she finished, noticing how strong he was.
“Yeah, sometimes. You?” he replied.
“See for yourself!”
“What-” Sasha said, turning around to find a long stick being tossed in his direction. He barely managed to catch it. “Jeez, how’d you find these so fast?”
“En guarde!” Anne called back, taking a swing in response.
“Jesus!” Sasha exclaimed, nearly falling into the sand to block Anne’s first strike. He caught his footing and swung back, but Anne dodged away easily. They kept sparring back and forth, laughing, until suddenly Anne swung low at Sasha’s ankles. He managed to jump away, but lost his footing and fell back into the sand with a shout. Anne leapt forward and pointed her stick at his chest dramatically for a moment before starting to giggle. She stuck an arm out and pulled Sasha to his feet.
“So I’ll take that as a yes?” Sasha asked, trying in vain to brush the sand off himself.
“Nope!” Anne replied cheerily. “That was all tennis, baby!”
“Damn, maybe I should be trying out tennis instead of boxing.”
“You do boxing now?” Anne asked in surprise.
“I’ve been giving it a try, yeah. It was Marcy’s idea.”
“You like it so far?”
“It’s pretty fun. You and Mars should definitely come with me sometime!”
“What, so you could beat us up?”
“I was kinda thinking the opposite. What better way to deal with all the times I’m going to inevitably piss you and Marcy off?”
“Well, at least you’re self aware,” Anne said sarcastically. “Is hitting each other to handle our disagreements your expert recommendation as a mental health professional, then?”
“Okay, there’s a little more to boxing than just ‘hitting each other’ you know,” Sasha replied.
“Okay, deal. But …you’re gonna play tennis with me in exchange. Or maybe we can make it more fair and have you and Mars team up against me?”
“Alright, bet. What do you think Marcy will have us do to make up for all the exercise we’re gonna be dragging them into?”
“Either a tournament of that one video game they’ve been into lately or a bug-hunting quest,” Anne replied. Sasha laughed.
“Honestly, I’d do either of those even if I didn’t owe them,” Sasha admitted.
“It’s really great having them back again,” Anne agreed. Sasha smiled sheepishly. They were both down bad for Marcy.
“Okay, enough being sentimental, I haven’t gone swimming in eight months and it’s hot as fuck out here!” Sasha declared. He started running towards the water, grabbing Anne by the hand and spinning her into tow as he passed. Anne chased after him, crashing into the water after him. They both dove under the water right away, reveling in the chance to finally swim in a body that felt like home. Anne surfaced and spread her arms, floating with her eyes closed and the sun beating warmly down on her face. Suddenly, she got doused in water. She stood up, blinking water out of her eyes, and saw Sasha looking guilty.
“Oh, that was a mistake!” Anne said fiercely.
“Shit.” Sasha turned and tried to run the best he could through the water. Anne reached down and grabbed a handful of wet sand. She launched it towards Sasha and splattered it across his back before he could make it to shore. He grabbed his chest dramatically and fell backwards into the water. Anne laughed and swam over to him.
“Okay, truce?” Sasha asked as she approached.
“Uh, pretty sure you started that last one,” Anne replied. Sasha grinned slyly before they both dove back into the water. They swam for nearly another hour until they both got tired and started to head for the short. As they walked, Anne gasped and grabbed Sasha’s arm.
“We should look for shells!” she exclaimed.
“Isn’t that supposed to be bad for the local ecosystem, Miss Biologist?” Sasha replied.
“Okay, first of all I’m a herpetologist, and besides, I’ll only take, like, five!”
“Uh huh, you ‘only take five,’ and then so does everyone else at the beach every single day until…”
“Shhhh, I know, I know, but look how pretty they are!” Anne said, reaching down to grab one. “Plus we can bring them back to Marcy and they can help us figure out what they came from.”
“Are you gonna use making you and Marcy happy as a way to get me to do whatever you want?” Sasha asked.
“Glad you’re catching on,” Anne teased. “Oh, look at this one!”
They walked further and further down the beach. Anne kept finding new shells she liked, handing them off to Sasha until his pockets were full and the sun was sinking. She smiled as she picked up a blue-tinged one. She was reminding herself of Sprig and his excitement over gifting a blue moon shell to Ivy.
“Okay, Anne, this is definitely more than five,” Sasha said after they’d walked more than half a mile down the beach.
“Fineeee. Let me see them, I’ll pick out my favorites,” she replied. Sasha spread them out in the sand and Anne kneeled down.
“Oh, definitely keep that one,” Sasha said, pointing towards a pink-tinged one. “It reminds me of the shell on Marcy’s old Newtopian cloak.”
“Oh yeah! Do you know if they still have any of their stuff from Amphibia?” Anne asked.
“Not sure,” Sasha replied. “Some of it might bring back some hard memories for them.”
“Yeah, that makes sense. Do you have anything?”
“Oh yeah, my old blue heron sword from Grime is still around. I think it’s at my mom’s place or something.”
“What! You should totally hang that up at your place. Your apartment looks so boring.”
“Hard to compete with your place. Not all of us can keep, like, twenty different house plants alive at once,” Sasha retorted. “You still have anything from Amphibia?”
“Oh yeah, I stuck my old breastplate on one of my mom’s weird ‘Anne dolls’ that she made while we were gone. Pretty sure it’s still at their place.”
“I’m sorry, ‘Anne dolls?’”
“Mmmmhm. My mom made a bunch of life-size statues of me when we first disappeared as a ‘coping mechanism.’ I tried to make her get rid of them years ago but I’m pretty sure she still has one in the garage.”
“That’s…”
“Yep,” Anne laughed. “Okay, these five. Carry them for me?”
“Yeah, okay,” Sasha said with an exasperated smile.
“Thanks, Sash,” Anne said. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before turning and running down the beach. “See you back at the blanket!” she called over her shoulder.
“Hey!” Sasha shouted before taking off after her. They ran through the shallow waves, the thin sheets of water glowing orange in the dimming light. Sasha trailed behind Anne, close enough to feel the spray she was kicking up in her wake. Anne pivoted into the dry sand, finally slowing down as she got to their things. Sasha was right behind, placing a hand on Anne’s shoulder to slow himself down. They were both laughing and out of breath, Sasha’s hand still resting on Anne, his other resting on his knee as he bent over in exhaustion.
“You’ve changed,” Sasha said between breaths. “Or, well, you’re more like you used to be.”
“Oh, yeah? How so?”
“You’re…happier. Happier than I’ve seen you in a long time.”
“I am happier,” Anne replied quietly. Sasha met her eyes and she felt that old familiar tug in her chest. After all this time, she was finally ready for what her heart had wanted for ten years. She placed a hand on his cheek, softly rubbing a thumb over his scar before kissing him gently. She pulled back and giggled at the surprised expression on Sasha’s face. Sasha placed his arms on Anne’s waist before pulling her closer and kissing her back. They stayed like that, swaying slightly on the shifting sand beneath until Sasha finally pulled away.
“I never thought this would actually happen,” he admitted quietly.
“Really? Why?”
“Part of me never thought I’d deserve you,” Sasha said softly. “You’re just so…so you. So good. I wasn’t sure if someone like me could be enough to get your love back.” Anne laughed softly.
“Do you know when I first fell for you?” Anne asked.
“Uh, like, three months ago?”
“Nope. When we were thirteen,” she said. Sasha’s eyes widened in surprise. “Back during the Wartwood rebellion.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
“But, I-” Sasha started, struggling to find the words.
“It wasn’t because of anything you said,” Anne confessed. “I still couldn’t really trust your words. It was how you treated everyone in Wartwood. You loved and fought for them with your whole heart, and I could tell how much they loved you back. That wasn’t something you could fake. You earned their love and their loyalty and, well. That was enough. It just…wasn’t the right time.”
“And now?” Sasha asked softly.
“And now…” Anne whispered before kissing him once more. The waves crashed behind her, the last of the sunlight danced on the water, and Sasha’s arms tightened around her back. It was time.
Notes:
oops hello i'm finally back after finishing my second-to-last semester of college! miraculously not burnt out from writing after writing research papers and reports and such. we love engineering.
last chapter will hopefully be done before christmas!! i should also be posting a stand-alone one-off sashanne college fic sometime soon as well (it is written in my head just needs to be written on paper) so like,,,,idk look out for that if you want!
also i will once again be annoying and share my sashanne playlist (it is five hours long lmao, listen to it in order!) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5SGSDJrnzNhUMjYKTMfmbu?si=687a38552149466f
as always thank you for reading xoxo, i'm excited to finally write the last chapter :)
Chapter 18: a new chapter
Summary:
it's been a few months since Anne, Sasha, and Marcy all officially got together and Anne is writing to Sprig to tell her about how her life has been going the past few months
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Dear Sprig,
Hey dude. Sorry for taking so long to write- I think it’s been like two months or so? A lot’s been happening lately. A lot of good. I’m…happier than I’ve been in a long time.
Okay, so remember that coworker I mentioned, Kabir? The one who was being *super* friendly and I was worried he was trying to flirt? Turns out I had him WAY wrong- he’s gay! And he’s really nice! He’s just super touchy so I kiiinda got the wrong idea, haha. We’ve been getting lunch together a lot lately. He works with the sharks and he’s been telling me a lot about them (and I’ve been telling him a lot about frogs)! Marcy has been loving hearing all the shark facts I’ve been learning- I’ve got to introduce the two of them sometime.
Speaking of Marcy- guess who got a new job! Living in LA is really expensive, so they needed to make more than they were earning from their webcomic. They started working at a store that sells, like, board games and figurines and stuff, and they LOVE it. I’m pretty sure they’re making friends with, like, a quarter of the customers that come in there. They’ve gotten more invites to join DnD groups than they can handle. Some people are a little bit *too* friendly with them, though- they’ve had almost ten people give them their number so far! Marcy always gets caught off guard and forgets to tell them they’re already dating TWO people. Sasha’s getting jealous- she’s threatening to tattoo “TAKEN” across Marcy’s forehead if people keep flirting with them.
It’s funny to think Marcy used to be so worried about making friends and connecting with people, even just a few months ago. I think being farther away from their family is finally letting them feel comfortable doing what *they* want to do in life, and that regained confidence is showing. It makes me really happy, Sprig- they’re so loved by so many people and I’m glad they’re finally starting to see that themselves.
Speaking of tattoos…Sasha and I surprised Marcy with a gift a few weeks ago. They started talking about how it might be fun to become a tattoo artist, but they weren’t really sure where to start or how to figure out if it was something they’d really be into. Soooo…Sasha and I bought them a tattoo gun! And a bunch of fruit to practice on. Turns out citrus fruits are pretty good for tattoo practice. And before Hop Pop freaks out about wasting good produce- we picked out really old ugly fruit that probably wasn’t going to be bought anyways! I’m sure all those hard-working citrus farmers will forgive us for our sins against produce!
They got SUPER into it, and within, like, three days, they’d already given Sasha a new tattoo on her leg. I’m pretty sure Sasha’s gonna end up with her entire thigh covered in “Marcy and I were just bored and/or high” tattoos within a year. Even if this ends as more of a hobby for Marcy rather than a career, I definitely want to get a couple of tats from them as well!
So, on a slightly more serious note- I’ve finally told my parents everything. Everything that happened in Amphibia, everything I went through after, the letters I write to you, and how Marcy, Sasha, and I are all dating now. I’m sure you’re not surprised, but they were supportive about all of it. The whole I-died-and-might-become-god thing was definitely a weird conversation to have, but somehow that was easier than telling them I was dating Sash and Mars. My dad keeps making jokes about the things I should do when I’m god. My mom even started scolding the real Domino about putting all that pressure on me, haha. I don’t think she quite understood that the Guardian just *looked* like Domino. My *real* precious baby would never do something to make me that stressed. Or turn down cuddles. Oh yeah, and my mom really liked the idea of writing letters to you. I think she’s going to write one to you as well! Guess you’ll always be her son, haha.
But yeah, somehow telling them about my, uh, *two new partners* took me longer than anything else! I thought they’d be at least a *little* surprised, but NOPE. Apparently my mom had a bet going with my dad since I was 14 that I’d end up dating Sasha at some point. My dad was betting on Marcy. Guess they both won, haha. They figured out we all had some kind of feelings for each other before we did! Honestly, I’m glad they never said anything- we needed to figure it out on our own time. I think any of us trying to date in high school would’ve been a DISASTER, haha.
It’s kinda funny how our relationship is turning out. I think I spent the first few weeks still feeling like an outsider in Sasha and Marcy’s relationship. It wasn’t like they didn’t try hard to include me- it just took me a bit to accept that they really loved me, that they really wanted me there, that it really was okay to be in love with people I’d known for most of my life. But I finally got there. It’s so much easier than I ever expected. Sure, Sasha and I still bicker about stupid shit, Marcy gets wrapped up in their own projects and forgets to be a real person, but it’s good. It works. We work. We’re happy. I’m happy.
Sasha and Marcy are definitely moving way faster together than I am, but that’s okay. It took them an astounding four months of being together and two months of Marcy spending nearly every night at Sasha’s place before deciding to just move in together to “save money.” Mhm, sure. I don’t mind, though. I like taking things slower and having a place of my own. Plus they have wildly different sleep schedules and Sasha only has one bed, so I *definitely* don’t need to be around to see how they work that out, haha.
Okay, sorry, I know I keep talking about Sasha and Marcy! I’m not really used to them being such a big part of my life and…it’s exciting. It’s so different than things ever used to be, like even beyond the whole *dating thing*. We grew up being way too dependent on each other, then were barely part of each other’s lives for nearly a decade. I mean, Sasha and Marcy texted each other a lot, I talked to them both sometimes, and we’d all get together every once in a while, but we mostly did our own thing. We learned to live our own lives, figured out who we wanted to be, and now…we’ve chosen each other again. We have our own lives, our own passions, our own aspirations, but now we’re choosing to share them. To keep growing together. It’s funny how we’ve found each other again, but we’ve grown so much that it almost feels like something new. Sometimes it feels like we’re not the same kids that saved Amphibia, and sometimes it feels like nothing’s changed at all.
I’m doing a lot better than I had been for a long time, Sprig. Sasha convinced me to give therapy another try and it’s been helping a lot. It’s still tough to talk about everything I’ve been going through since I can’t really explain the otherworldly talking frogs that I miss with all my heart or the weird anime powers that almost cost me my life or the literal god that took the form of my cat, or, well, you get the idea, but it’s still been good. I’ve been getting better at…letting myself live life, I guess. I’m making connections, making mistakes, taking risks, and just…having fun. Finally. I’m only twenty-three, dude (and you’re twenty-one! What the hell!)! I’ve spent the past decade feeling so goddamn old because of all this Guardian shit that I felt like I couldn't enjoy life half the time! It still overwhelms me to think about all of it sometimes, but…now I have Sasha. I have Marcy. I have my parents. I guess I never realized just how much it would help me to finally share it all.
So, yeah. I’ve been getting lunch with Kabir and getting to know more of my coworkers. I texted some friends from college that ended up in L.A. and we’ve been catching up. I’m trying to meet new people, but I’m not beating myself up too much if it doesn’t work out. I’m making more of an effort to see my parents and actually talk about what’s going on in my life. I’m being goofy and not worrying if it makes me look immature. I’m staying out late even if I have work the next morning. I’m going to parties and maybe drinking a bit too much and not worrying if I’m a little irresponsible. I’m having fun, I’m taking risks, I’m fucking up sometimes, and I feel more alive than I have since I left you behind, Sprig. But don’t worry dude, I still miss you every day. You’ll always be my best friend. Nobody’s taking that spot.
I still have Terri’s number and I text them sometimes. They got their PhD a few years ago and stayed in California to continue their suspiciously well-funded research projects. I think Mr. X has something to do with that, haha. They aren’t able to focus all their time on inter-dimensional stuff, but I know they’re gonna figure it out someday. We’re going to see each other again, Sprig. I know it. And until then…I just hope you’re happy, dude. Whatever you’re doing, wherever you are, I just want you to be enjoying life. I finally am. And it’s amazing.
Love you forever,
Anne
Anne set down her pen and leaned back in her chair with a sigh.
“Done with your letter?” Sasha called from the couch.
“Yep!”
“Then get over here, girl! I’m pretty sure Marcy is going to actually explode if we wait any longer to watch the new season of Hacksaw Woman,” Sasha joked.
“Hey, the people on my discord server are terrible at flagging things, I can’t risk seeing a spoiler!”
“You could just start without me, you know. I always need Mars to explain the episodes anyways,” Anne said.
“Nah, it’s more fun with you,” Sasha replied.
“Plus I need you to gush about the romantic parts with me! Sasha only cares about the gore.”
“Hey, not true!”
“It totally is true!”
“Alright, alright, I’m coming!” Anne replied with a smile. She made her way to the couch, squeezing into the small space left between Sasha and Marcy. Sasha draped her arm around Anne’s shoulder and Marcy leaned their head against her shoulder. As Sasha started the show, Anne closed her eyes. She didn’t feel stuck in the past or afraid of the future. For all they had been through and all the life they’d lived, somehow it was just the three of them again. And that was enough.
Notes:
thanks y'all for reading! i've had a lot of fun chipping away at this for the past half year (lmao the way i originally wanted to finish this in august) and i really appreciate all the kudos and comments i've gotten! i really just kinda wrote this for myself and never expected it to get much attention, so i genuinely appreciate the kind things y'all have said. thank you!!! hope y'all have enjoyed the story :-)
got a short college sashanne fic i'm planning to write soon and i have two ideas for amphibby au's that i probably won't actually write but who knows! entering my last semester of college and am (hopefully lmao) starting a full time job this summer so like,,,,,,time for hobbies?? who knows!
happy 2023 hope y'all have a good year <3
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