A Little More Brave

by linksofmemories

Summary:

Everything about Jake was warm. From his smile to his words to how he looked at Sunoo. With each summer day they spent in each other's company, Sunoo couldn't help but to fall for him again and again. He felt as if he could spend an eternity, sinking into Jake's warm embrace and forgetting about the rest of the world.

Notes:

Title taken from "Fearless" by Taylor Swift.

Moodboard

Sunoo wiped down the countertop for what must have been the fifth time in the last hour. It was the only thing that he could think of to do. It was too hot outside to greet customers and there weren’t any orders that he had to prepare. Except for Sunoo and his most loyal (and annoying) customer, the bakery was completely empty.

He had started working part-time there during his last year of high school. Once he graduated a few months ago, Sunoo’s part-time hours had turned full-time. The older couple who owned the bakery had decided to go to Jeju-do for a month, leaving the bakery in Sunoo’s more than capable hands. He didn’t know why they were vacationing in Jeju-do of all places. They were only trading one coastal town for another. Perhaps they just wanted to get away from work.

“Hyung.”

Sunoo jumped a bit in place, startled by the sudden voice. The only noise in the bakery was the music he was playing on the small radio behind the counter. It was on a station that played nothing but trot music. Sunoo could always change the channel, but he had become weirdly fond of the genre ever since he started working at the bakery.

“What is it?” Sunoo said, leaning against the counter so that he could see the small table in the corner. “Do you want something else?”

Only one person showed up every day to the bakery, besides Sunoo. He was a couple of years younger, but homeschooled unlike the other teenagers in their town. Riki’s family had moved from Okayama, Japan all the way to their small village about three years ago. Sunoo knew that Riki hated it here, but he never took it out on Sunoo.

“Can I get a glass of water?” Riki asked. “It’s so hot today.”

“Yeah, of course,” Sunoo said.

He had tried to convince Riki to help him out at the bakery while the owners were away, but he hadn’t caved. Riki liked to be pampered. Sunoo could tell that his family spoiled him. He definitely didn’t want to be the one serving others.

Sunoo poured a glass of water for Riki before bringing it to his table. He set it down and then picked up the plate that had once held a croissant sandwich. Riki was drawing on his tablet, his mouth turned down into a frown as he concentrated.

“What are you working on today?” Sunoo asked

He tried to get a peek of the drawing, but Riki moved the screen, holding it to his chest.

“It’s a secret,” Riki said. He turned the display off before grabbing the water and gulping half of it down. Sweat was beading at his temples. Sunoo made a mental note to turn the fan that sat on the counter in Riki’s direction once he went back to his post. “Are you closing early today? You should. No one is going to show up.”

“I can’t close early just because no one is here right now,” Sunoo said.

“The owners aren’t going to know,” Riki said. “We could go swimming.”

“I don’t like swimming,” Sunoo said. His stomach turned just at the thought of it. “I don’t mind staying here. You do know that you can leave at any time, don't you?”

“I know I can,” Riki said, slumping in his seat. “Can I buy something else then?”

“You can get whatever you want,” Sunoo said.

Riki didn’t stand up and go to the counter like Sunoo thought he would. Instead, he squinted at the glass display from a distance. Sunoo stepped aside so that he would have a better view.

“What are those little cookies called again?” Riki said. “The ones shaped like flowers that taste like honey?”

“Yakgwa,” Sunoo said. “How many do you want?”

“Two.”

Sunoo went to the front of the store, going behind the counter so that he could open up the display case. The bakery had originally started as a store that only sold Korean sweets. He used to come here so often with his mother when he was a child. About five years ago, they had started incorporating Western food into the menu as well. Sunoo had noticed the increase in popularity once that happened, but it seemed to have died down again recently.

“Here you go,” Sunoo said, handing the cookies over to Riki. He kept his hand outstretched though. “That will be ₩2500, please.”

Riki reached into the pocket of his shorts, rummaging around until he extracted a few coins. He counted them out before paying Sunoo. After counting them himself to make sure he had been given the right amount, Sunoo went back to the counter so that he could deposit the money into the cash register.

The front door opened just as he shut the register drawer closed. A group of high schoolers came in, laughing and talking amongst themselves. Sunoo instantly recognized them and he glanced over at Riki to see his reaction. He was staring, not at all hiding how transfixed he was by the new customers. It made sense that a young alpha would be hypnotized by a group of pretty omegas.

“What does everyone want?” the tallest girl asked. She had long black hair that went almost to her waist. “I can order for us.”

She listened as her friends all chimed off their orders, not even noting down what they were saying. They had all done this before. Sunoo was sure that she knew everyone’s order by heart.

“Let’s go, Jungwon-ah,” she said, linking her arm with the only male omega in the group.

He was just slightly taller than her, and Sunoo thought that if one of them had a late growth spurt, they would probably outgrow the other, once and for all. They approached the counter and Sunoo did his best to keep his attention on Wonyoung instead of Jungwon.

“Sunbae-nim!” Wonyoung said, leaning across the counter. “I haven’t seen you since graduation. How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine,” Sunoo said. “Busy. The owners are gone for a month, so it’s just me here.”

“That sounds like a lot of work,” she said.

They continued to make a bit of small talk while Sunoo hoped that it wasn’t too obvious that he was ignoring Jungwon. He couldn’t help but to glance over at him though, just to see how he was doing, physically at least.

Jungwon’s hair was a bit longer. He usually kept it short, especially during the summer, but it went past his ears now, almost reaching his chin. His ears were pierced and Sunoo couldn’t help but wonder who had gone with him when he had gotten them done. Had Wonyoung accompanied him? Did the entire group go together?

Wonyoung ordered for her friends and then paid as well, flourishing a credit card to him that he quickly swiped. As Sunoo got their order ready, he looked at Jungwon again. Did he have makeup on or was the light just playing tricks on him? Jungwon was wearing a skirt instead of pants for his uniform. He had never chosen the skirt over the pants before. It had always been perfectly acceptable for him to since he was an omega, but Jungwon had never wanted to.

So many things about Jungwon had changed over the past few months and Sunoo hadn’t been around for any of it.

He handed the pastries and drinks that they had ordered to them and then watched as they joined their friends. They were all so loud, laughing over inside jokes and gossiping about other students. Sunoo took his phone out of his pocket, checking today’s date. It was the last day of school before summer vacation started.

Sunoo remembered this same day last year. He had gone to the bakery with Jungwon, just the two of them, like it had always been. Sunoo had been a third year and Jungwon a second year. They had shared a slice of cheesecake and then went biking to the beach. It hadn’t been a very exciting day, but it had been special to Sunoo.

“Do any of you remember Sim Jaeyun?” one of the girls said, her loud voice carrying across the small shop. “He’s two years older than us. He used to live here years ago.”

“Don’t his grandparents own the grocery store in town?” another one asked. “Or, well, just his grandma now, I guess.”

Sunoo started to wipe down the counter again, doing his best to keep a neutral facial expression while he actively listened. It had been a long time since he had heard anyone mention Sim Jaeyun.

“That’s him,” she said. “He moved to Australia forever ago, but he’s coming back soon. His grandma told my aunt that he’s coming back for the summer, to help with the store.”

He went to the glass display case, opening up the back of it and pretending like he was taking stock, seeing if he needed to bring out any more pastries to fill up the case again.

“So, I got a little curious,” she said, “and I found his Instagram. Look at him!”

She pushed her phone toward her friends and they all leaned in, watching as she scrolled down the page. The reaction was instantaneous. Sunoo was quickly met with giggles and gasps and words of approval.

“That’s Sim Jaeyun?” another girl said. “He’s so good-looking now. And he’s coming to our town?”

“He’ll be here all summer,” the girl holding her phone said. “I think I might have to work my charms a bit.”

“Oh, really?” one of them said, snorting. “He’s cute, but he’s just a beta. Is he really worth it?”

“I’m looking for a summer fling,” she said. “I don’t want to marry him.”

This seemed to be the right thing to say, because it made the entire table burst into laughter. Sunoo took a cupcake from the case. He had just frosted it that morning when he had arrived at the bakery before the sun had even risen. Sunoo peeled the paper liner off of it, dropping it into the small trashcan by the register. He leaned against the counter as he took a bite.

“What do you think, Jungwon-ah?” Wonyoung asked. She had taken the phone from her friend and was now showing it to Jungwon. “Isn’t he cute?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Jungwon said. Sunoo had noticed that he had been rather quiet as the others gossiped. “I actually remember hanging out with him when he still lived here. He was always really nice to me.”

“He was?” Wonyoung said, her eyes sparkling. “What if you two reconnect this summer? That would be so romantic.”

Sunoo took another bite of the cupcake, his stomach starting to twist at every single one of Wonyoung’s words.

“I would like to see him again,” Jungwon said. “But I don’t like him like that. He was a good friend. That’s it though.”

“If you say so,” Wonyoung said, handing the phone back to their friend. “And I suppose it makes sense. Our Jungwon-ah is too pretty to settle for a beta.”

The entire group loved that remark, all of them agreeing unanimously. They reached across the table, patting Jungwon on the arm and cooing over him and saying that of course he could never be with a beta. Jungwon should only be with the most handsome, perfect, dashing alpha. Not a common beta.

Our Jungwon-ah. Sunoo remembered when he used to call Jungwon, his Jungwonie.

“You’re one to talk Wonyoung,” one of the girls said. “You could never settle for a beta either.”

“I think that I could,” Wonyoung said, tapping her lip as she considered this, “if it were true love.”

Once again her words inspired a chorus of approval from the other girls.

Sunoo had never had any strong feelings toward Jang Wonyoung. She was without a doubt the prettiest girl in their village, the prettiest omega as well. There were rumors that next year, as soon as she graduated from high school and came of age, that alphas were planning on flocking to their village to ask her if she would want to court them. The rumors seemed ridiculous, but Sunoo wouldn’t be surprised if they came true.

He always thought that she was nice. Her words were courteous and respectful. She was Jungwon’s friend now, so that was also a new addition to the thoughts he had about her. Jang Wonyoung was a good friend to Jungwon. That alone made Sunoo like her just a little bit more.

“You can all go ahead,” Jungwon said to the group as they stood up to leave. “I have to ask Sunoo-hyung something.”

“We’ll wait for you,” Wonyoung said, squeezing his hand before joining the rest of the girls outside in the summer sun.

Sunoo waited behind the counter, his arms folded over his chest as Jungwon approached him. He definitely didn’t rush, taking small steps toward Sunoo and staring down at his feet.

“Hey, hyung,” Jungwon said once he was at the counter. His hands were gripping the edge of it and he still wasn’t making eye contact. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine,” Sunoo said.

He didn’t offer anything else beyond that. Sunoo knew that his words sounded cold, and he wanted to fix them. Every single one of his instincts was screaming at him, telling him to apologize to Jungwon and do everything he could to make them be friends again.

Sunoo couldn’t do that though. Jungwon was the one who should apologize to him, not the other way around. He wasn’t the one at fault here.

“Is that all you needed to ask me?” Sunoo said after a long stretch of silence.

“Yeah, I guess,” Jungwon said.

He finally looked up at him. Sunoo could see Jungwon fully now. They were close and Wonyoung wasn’t there for Sunoo to look at instead. Jungwon was wearing makeup. It was pretty, subtle, nothing he would get in trouble for wearing at school. His cheeks were rosier than usual and there was a soft brown shimmer across his eyelids and his lips were glossy. He was so pretty. Jungwon had always been so, so pretty.

His eyes went down, peeling away from Jungwon’s face so that he could look at his neck. Most male students wore neckties for their uniform, while the girls and omegas wore bows. Jungwon had been wearing a necktie since elementary school, but now, just like how he had opted for a skirt instead of pants, he had a large bow tied under the collar of his shirt.

There was a glint of gold against Jungwon’s fair skin and Sunoo couldn’t stop himself from reaching forward. Jungwon jumped slightly when Sunoo curled his finger around the delicate chain of a necklace.

“Is this new?” Sunoo asked.

“Yeah,” Jungwon said. “Yeah, it is.”

At the end of the thin gold chain was a pendant. It was a single rose, the stem and leaves just as gold as the chain, but the flower itself was a glossy, deep red. Sunoo let go of it and it fell against Jungwon’s chest, resting against the bow instead of hiding under his shirt.

“It’s pretty,” Sunoo said. “Who gave it to you?”

It was a stupid question to ask. They both knew where it had come from.

“That’s none of your concern,” Jungwon said, tucking the necklace away so that it was out of sight. “I just… I just wanted to talk to you. We haven’t talked in months and – and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine,” Sunoo said. “I’m sure you’ve been fine too.” He looked out of the front windows of the shop, seeing the girls laugh amongst themselves as they waited for Jungwon. “You’ve got so many new friends. You’ve been more than fine.”

“I guess,” Jungwon said, shrugging his shoulders. “They’re really nice.” His eyes went back to the floor, his feet shuffling against the tile. “I don’t want to keep them waiting. I’ll see you later, hyung.”

“Bye, Jungwon,” Sunoo said.

He slumped against the counter again, his breath felt like it had totally left him. Jungwon stopped at the front door with his hand on the knob. Sunoo waited. He waited for him to turn around and apologize and to tell Sunoo that he couldn’t do this anymore. Being without each other for this long was torture.

Instead, Jungwon turned to Riki who was still drawing on his tablet and doing his best to seem totally uninterested in their conversation.

“Hi, Riki-yah,” Jungwon said. “Have you been having a nice summer?”

His voice sounded so much lighter, speaking to Riki instead of Sunoo.

“It’s been like any other season,” Riki said.

The short, clipped response was very typical of Riki. He never said more than he needed to. At first, Sunoo thought that it was because he was still learning Korean and wasn’t confident enough to form more complicated sentences. Now he knew that the short answers were just a part of who Riki was.

Jungwon had always been the exception to the rule though. Riki loved talking to Jungwon. The two had gotten along so well, but now it was almost as if Riki were letting Jungwon know whose side he was taking. Sunoo did his best to not feel too pleased about it either.

“Well, I hope you can enjoy it,” Jungwon said.

Riki waved one of his hands in goodbye, his eyes never leaving his tablet as he continued to draw. Jungwon left the bakery and the door clicked shut behind him.

“So,” Riki said once a minute or two had passed. “Did you two break up or something? Were you secretly dating, and you never told me about it?”

“No,” Sunoo said, rolling his eyes. “It’s never been like that between us. We had a fight.”

“I can’t imagine you two fighting,” Riki said. “What did you fight about?”

“It’s really none of your business.”

Sunoo picked up the rag he had been cleaning with and continued to wipe down the countertop.

-: ✧ :-

His laptop had only been turned on for ten minutes and the fan had already started. The computer was hot to the touch and the fan was concernedly loud, sounding like it was about to take flight. Sunoo had his earbuds plugged in and he was holding the little microphone attachment up to his mouth as he talked.

Sunghoon was on his screen, running his hand through his hair for the third time since their video call had started. Sunoo was sitting at the desk where he used to do his homework, his knees tucked up against his chest as he listened to Sunghoon recount what he had been up to lately.

“The last few months have been so crazy,” Sunghoon said. “I can hardly believe that any of it was real.”

Sunoo hummed in acknowledgement, nodding as he listened.

“I’m sure you’re happy to be home,” Sunoo said.

“I am,” Sunghoon said. He looked around, most likely taking in his small apartment. “This place is finally starting to feel like home to me.”

“Is this your way of telling me that you’re never coming back to Korea?” Sunoo asked. “The next time we speak, are you going to start trying to get your American citizenship?”

“Definitely not,” Sunghoon said, laughing. “I like living and training here, but I’ll come back to Korea eventually. Probably after I retire.”

Like Jungwon, Sunghoon was someone who Sunoo had been friends with since he was a child. He didn’t spend as much time with Sunghoon as he did with Jungwon, but they were still close. Sunghoon’s busy schedule didn’t prevent them from becoming friends. It didn’t put an end to their friendship either, even if they lived on different sides of the globe.

Sunghoon was a competitive figure skater who had been living in America for the past three years. He had moved there to train after changing coaches. Figure skating wasn’t the most popular sport in South Korea and the best coaches for the sport all lived in other countries. If Sunghoon wanted to continue improving, he had to move, and that was exactly what he had done.

“Five more minutes!” Sunoo heard a voice call out from Sunghoon’s side of the call. “The best breakfast of your life is coming up in five minutes!”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the smile on his face. Sunoo felt a twinge of jealousy in his chest. He had always been jealous of Sunghoon though, so he was used to the feeling.

“What’s he making for you?” Sunoo asked.

“Pancakes, I think?” Sunghoon said. He looked away from the camera and Sunoo imagined he was looking toward the kitchen. “And bacon, too. A lot of bacon. Maybe even too much bacon.”

“There’s no such thing as too much bacon!” the voice called out again and Sunoo couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re both so American now,” Sunoo said. “I had leftover samgyetang for breakfast.”

“He’s always been American,” Sunghoon said. “I just go along with what he makes since I can’t cook.” He rested his elbow on the table his laptop was sitting on and then placed his chin in his palm. “Samgyetang sounds good. I miss Korean food.”

“Don’t you have Korean restaurants close to where you live?” Sunoo asked.

“I do, but it’s not the same,” Sunghoon said. “Hopefully I can visit before the summer’s over. I wanted to while I was touring in Japan, but the dates never lined up and I never got the chance.”

It was at times like these where Sunoo felt so small, so insignificant compared to Sunghoon. He knew that it wasn’t Sunghoon’s intention. He would never do anything to hurt Sunoo, but he couldn’t stop himself from comparing them in his head.

Sunghoon was an Olympic figure skater. He had finished in 8^th place at the Olympics earlier that year. Then he placed 5^th at the World Championships just a month later. Sunghoon had been invited to perform at ice skating shows across the world afterward and he had accepted every offer he had received. Now he was finally back home, glowing and successful and ready to start training for the next season.

Sunoo had just graduated high school and he was now working full-time at a tiny bakery in their small village. He knew that he shouldn’t compare himself to Sunghoon, but it was hard not to.

“For you, my love.” The words were spoken in English, but Sunoo could still understand them.

A plate piled high with pancakes and bacon and eggs was placed in front of Sunghoon. He smiled before tilting his head up. Jongseong entered into frame then, quickly kissing Sunghoon before turning toward the camera.

“Hey, Sunoo,” he said, waving.

“Hi, Jay-hyung,” Sunoo said.

Sunghoon groaned in annoyance while Jongseong’s smile got even brighter. He was always delighted when Sunoo called him by his English name. Sunghoon hated it.

“How was work today?” Jongseong asked, taking a seat at the table next to Sunghoon. The laptop must have been pushed back a bit on their table, because Sunoo’s video was shaky for a moment. When it steadied, he could see both of them in frame. “It’s late there, isn’t it? Like 11pm?”

“It’s 10:30,” Sunoo said. “I have to be up early though to go to the bakery, so I can’t talk for too much longer.” He pressed his lips together, pouting slightly. Sunoo was grateful that the bakery wasn’t open every day of the week. He didn’t know how he would have managed all by himself. “Work was fine today. Jungwon stopped by.”

“He did?” Sunghoon said. He looked hopeful. Sunoo wasn’t looking forward to disappointing him. “That’s great. Did you talk things through?”

“No,” Sunoo said. “He was with his new friends. We didn’t really say much to each other.”

He watched as Jongseong and Sunghoon looked at each other, exchanging short and knowing glances. Sunoo hated when they did that. It was like they could speak their own secret language without needing to use any words. And it always made him feel left out.

“Wonyoungie and the other omega girls?” Sunghoon said. “They’re all really nice. You’d get along with them well.”

“I know,” Sunoo said. “They’re Jungwon’s friends though, not mine.”

“You and Jungwon are friends,” Jongseong said. “Best friends. You should all hang out together.”

Sunoo glared at them, hoping that they understood his own silent language now. They never took his side when it came to these types of things. Jungwon was the one they coddled, mostly because Jungwon was the one who had “always been” an omega.

“I don’t think Jungwon and I are friends right now,” Sunoo said. “He can spend time with whoever he wants to. Summer break goes by so quickly. He should enjoy it while he can.” Sunoo picked up one of the pens he had on his desk. It wrote in sparkly pink ink and it had been his favorite while studying. He never brought it with him to school though. Sunoo twiddled with it absentmindedly, just so that he could have something else to focus on. “He’s a third year now. He’ll graduate next year and move away from this town. I shouldn’t bother him anymore.”

“I’m sure Jungwon doesn’t feel that way,” Sunghoon said. He shifted in his chair slightly and Sunoo could tell that he was starting to become uncomfortable. They never talked about things like this. Jungwon was the person Sunoo went to when he needed to talk to someone about his worries and struggles. “Can I ask what you two fought about? What happened? Jungwon won’t tell me either.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sunoo said as he dropped his pen back on the desk.

“I think it does,” Jongseong said. “You two wouldn’t fight over nothing. You can tell us what happened.” He paused after saying his words, his eyes going back and forth between them. “Unless this is an omega thing. Should I leave? Are alphas not allowed in this conversation?”

“You can stay,” Sunoo said, rolling his eyes. “It has nothing to do with being an omega. And even if it did, I know that Sunghoon-hyung would just tell you all of the details later.”

Sunghoon then did a terrible job of trying to convince Sunoo that he would never do that. It was impossible to believe him though. Jongseong and Sunghoon shared everything now, even secrets.

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,” Sunghoon said after a few more unsuccessful attempts to get Sunoo to talk. “Just let me know… I just need to know one thing.” He took a deep breath and suddenly Sunoo knew what he was going to ask before he even spoke. No other topic they discussed ever made Sunghoon so nervous. “It’s not because you’re trans, is it? It doesn’t have anything to do with that?”

“No,” Sunoo said without hesitation. “We didn’t fight about that. Jungwon would never do anything to hurt me that way.”

“Okay,” Sunghoon said, his shoulders relaxing a bit. “Good. That’s good. Well, it’s not good that you’re fighting, but at least it’s not about… about that.”

Sunoo didn’t want to talk about this with them. They had always been supportive, but he could tell that they were still being overly cautious, choosing their words too carefully and almost being afraid to say the wrong thing. He wanted to change the topic entirely, so he did.

“Are you excited for the new season, hyung?” Sunoo asked, putting all of the attention on Sunghoon now. “Have you decided the music for your programs yet?”

“Not yet,” Sunghoon said. “My coach wants me to do Carmen for my short program, but I really don’t want to.”

Sunghoon continued to talk about his training and Sunoo sat back in his chair, finally feeling like he could relax. Jongseong was listening along attentively, even though Sunoo knew that he had already heard all of the details that Sunghoon was sharing now. He ate his breakfast while staring at Sunghoon, his hand reaching out occasionally to push a strand of hair behind Sunghoon’s ear or to place his hand on the back of his neck.

Sunoo thought that Sunghoon looked odd without his courting collar on. He always wore it out in public, but since they were at home, and only speaking to Sunoo, a close friend, then it wasn’t needed. Sunoo wondered if Jongseong wanted Sunghoon to put it on or if he felt uneasy, with all of Sunghoon’s beautiful, fragile pale skin on display.

“Am I boring you?” Sunghoon asked.

He had been explaining how much trouble he was having with learning the quad flip, but Sunoo must have looked like he was spaced out. In a way, he was. His mind was having difficulty focusing lately.

“No,” Sunoo said, shaking his head. “I’m listening. Go on.”

Sunghoon didn’t seem convinced, but he continued on with his story. Jongseong had finished his own breakfast and was now cutting into Sunghoon’s stack of pancakes. Sunoo liked listening to Sunghoon talk about figure skating, but watching Jongseong try to feed Sunghoon while he was mid-sentence was much more entertaining.

He remembered the day Jongseong and his family had arrived in their town. It had been almost ten years ago, just a few weeks after Sim Jaeyun’s family had departed for Australia. Jongseong was an American whose English was better than his Korean. He had an abrasive personality and it didn’t help that he was a young alpha, trying to make new friends in their close-knit village.

Jongseong and Sunghoon were a year older than Sunoo, but the confrontation between them during Jongseong’s first week at school had happened in the lunch room, in front of everyone. Sunoo covered his mouth with his hand, trying his best not to laugh as he remembered a tiny Jongseong, insisting that Sunghoon married him.

“Now you’re laughing,” Sunghoon said, stopping his story again. “We can talk about something else.”

“I’m not laughing at you,” Sunoo said. “I’m laughing at him.”

He pointed at Jongseong who was holding a forkful of pancake in his hand, holding it level with Sunghoon’s mouth. Without wasting a single second, he took the opportunity to shove the fork at Sunghoon’s lips in an effort to get him to eat a breakfast that was much too sugary for Sunghoon’s personal taste.

“Why are you laughing at me?” Jongseong asked, smiling to himself as Sunghoon chewed the food he had been force-fed.

“I remembered something funny,” Sunoo said. “I was thinking about back in elementary school, when you asked Sunghoon-hyung to marry you.”

Jongseong’s response was instant. He groaned, tilting his head back in distress. Sunghoon had the opposite reaction. He started to laugh, his entire face lighting up as he recalled the memory.

“He didn’t ask me,” Sunghoon said. “He demanded me to marry him. He didn’t give me a choice.”

“I was eleven years-old,” Jongseong said. “I didn’t know what I was talking about!”

“Remember in middle school?” Sunoo said, ignoring Jongseong’s dismay. “When he yelled at you in front of the school gates that he was still in love with you? You told him that–” Sunoo’s shoulders starting to shake as he laughed. It was difficult to get the words out. “Sunghoon-hyung, you told him that he would get over it!”

Sunghoon and Sunoo both burst into laughter at the same time, no longer capable of holding themselves back. Jongseong had sunk into his chair, his eyes closed as he silently accepted his fate to be endlessly teased.

He always liked thinking back to when they were younger, when everything was so much easier. Talking to the two of them was comforting, in a way. It was because they never changed. Jongseong was still hopelessly in love with Sunghoon and Sunghoon was still equal parts amused and confused as to where his love came from.

Sunghoon leaned over once his laughter had calmed down. He kissed Jongseong’s temple in a rare display of affection. Sunghoon almost never instigated touches with him in public, even if the only “audience” they had was Sunoo on a low quality webcam.

“I’m glad you two can bond over my misery,” Jongseong said with his arms folded over his chest. “I made you breakfast.”

“You did,” Sunghoon said. He picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite. “Thank you very much.”

He placed his hand on Jongseong’s cheek, his fingertips stroking over the skin. Sunoo’s own laughter had died down and now he had taken Jongseong’s place of being the one who felt left out. He could only watch as Jongseong covered Sunghoon’s hand with his own before bringing it to his lips, and then kissing the pads of his fingers.

Their love hadn’t changed and Sunoo’s jealousy hadn’t either. He had never had feelings for either of them, but that didn’t stop him from feeling envious. No one had ever given Sunoo that kind of love and attention before. It was something he craved, but feared he could never have.

“Jay-hyung,” Sunoo said, interrupting their tender moment. He was finding it difficult to look at them. “How is the job search coming along?”

The question had the exact effect he wanted it to. Being unemployed was a sore subject for Jongseong, so it instantly brought a strong reaction. He groaned again, sinking even further in his chair. Sunoo knew that he should feel guilty for bringing up such a bad topic, but he couldn’t help himself. He needed the attention to be off on someone else, but he also needed it to not be focused on what he couldn’t have. And watching the two of them being madly in love was one of his least favorite reminders of exactly that.

-: ✧ :-

Sunoo couldn’t remember the exact moment when he realized that he wasn’t a beta. It was something that he had gradually accepted over time. When he was a little kid, he had played with Sunghoon and Jungwon without a single worry. They were so small and none of them knew what being an alpha or a beta or an omega even meant. The three of them were children and they were best friends and that was all that mattered.

It wasn’t until he was a bit older that he realized he couldn’t wear pretty dresses or bows in his hair like he wanted to. Sunoo’s only parent was his mother and she had refused to buy him pink sheets for his bed or even shampoo that came in a pink bottle, promising to smell of strawberries. He wasn’t allowed to sleep over at Jungwon’s house anymore. If he went to the beach with Sunghoon, they weren’t allowed to change into their swimsuits together. Sunoo could take his shirt off at the beach without being scolded, but if Sunghoon wanted to because it was too hot, he wasn’t allowed.

“Hyung,” Riki said, cutting into Sunoo’s reminiscing. “Can I get another one of those cookies? The one that’s covered in sesame seeds.”

“Sure,” Sunoo said.

He opened the glass case and took out two of the toasted sesame cookies, knowing that Riki wouldn’t be satisfied with only one more. Sunoo placed them on a napkin before delivering them to him.

Riki was working in his sketchbook today instead of his tablet. When Sunoo approached the table, he flipped back to the front cover, hiding what he had been drawing from Sunoo.

“Here you go,” Sunoo said, placing the cookies next to Riki’s cup of oolong tea. It looked like he had only taken a sip or two from the cup. “Do you not like your tea? I can make you something else.”

“You don’t have to,” Riki said. The tips of his fingers were black, covered in charcoal. “I can finish it. It’s okay.”

Sunoo nodded slowly before heading back to his post at the counter. Riki opened his sketchbook and then went back to work, his charcoal pen creating strokes on the blank page.

The glass case was still opened, so Sunoo closed it shut again. He tapped his fingers on the glass, thinking back to when he had came out to Riki. Sunoo didn’t even know why he had done it. It had been right after his fight with Jungwon. Sunoo had been so upset and Riki had kept asking annoying questions about why he was sad and Sunoo had just told him. He said it so plainly, that he wasn’t a beta. He was an omega. He was transgender.

Riki had paused for a second, his eyes looking so huge in surprise. And then he had shrugged and said, “Okay.” It was still Sunoo’s favorite response he had received after coming out to someone.

The door to the bakery opened and Sunoo stood up taller, putting on his best welcoming smile. He hoped that it wasn’t Jungwon and Wonyoung and their friends again. Sunoo didn’t know if he could handle that.

Walking into the bakery was someone who was so familiar to him, but who also felt like a total stranger. His hair was dark and shaggy and his skin was tanned from the summer sun and Sunoo felt his stomach do the tiniest of flips.

Sim Jaeyun really was back. And now he was standing right in front of Sunoo. It almost felt like Sunoo was encountering a celebrity in real life.

Entering the bakery behind Jaeyun was a small elderly woman who Sunoo instantly recognized. She was the owner of the local grocery store, and Jaeyun’s grandmother. Sunoo and his mother had attended her husband’s funeral a few months ago. He couldn’t recall seeing Jaeyun at the funeral service, but he must have been there.

“Good morning, Sunoo-ssi,” she said, approaching the counter and putting her hands on the corner of it, to steady herself. Jaeyun quickly sprang into action, placing a hand on her back so that he could support her. “I’m sure you already know what my order will be.”

“Two dozen gyeongdan?” he said.

“Yes,” she said. “Wrap the box in a pretty ribbon, won’t you? Something that will match the season.”

“Of course,” Sunoo said.

Gyeongdan wasn’t the most popular item they sold at the bakery. It had lost favor to the Western sweets such as croissants and sponge cakes and other pastries. Only the elderly residents of their village still bought the tiny, colorful rice cakes.

Sunoo didn’t know how to make them, so the owners had made plenty to store in the freezer so that he could still sell them while they were on vacation. Luckily for Jaeyun’s grandmother, he still had enough of the freshest batch, so he wouldn’t have to go to the freezer to fetch any.

“How long are you planning to work here this summer?” she asked as Sunoo gently placed the rice cakes into a large, shallow box. He arranged them carefully, making one row for each color. “I hope it’s just until the owners return. You graduated from high school, didn’t you? I’m sure you have big plans.”

“Not exactly,” Sunoo said. “I’m just focused on saving money right now.”

“You shouldn’t worry about something like that at your age,” she said, waving her hand dismissively. “Boys your age should only be doing two things: going to university, or going to the military.”

He hated the direction this conversation was taking. Jaeyun’s grandmother had never been one for small talk before. She always came in to buy her gyeongdan, comment on the weather, and then leave. He had only recently found out that she knew what his name was. Sunoo wasn’t sure what had made her start this conversation with him now.

“I want to go to university,” Sunoo said, feeling the need to defend himself from her sudden attack. “I’m working to save up money for it, so that I can live in an apartment.”

“The military will pay you,” she said. Her stern eyes luckily left Sunoo, choosing to focus on her grandson instead. “You would do well in the military, Jaeyun-ah. You would benefit from it.”

Sunoo couldn’t help but to look away from the box of rice cakes to glance at Jaeyun. He hadn’t heard him speak yet. Jaeyun had just been silently standing next to his grandmother while she did all of the talking.

“I’m not going to enlist, Halmeoni,” Jaeyun said. His voice was soft and accented and Sunoo could tell just from those few words that Korean had become his second language now. Jaeyun had been born here, but English must have been what he was more comfortable with. “I’m going to be an Australian citizen soon, officially. Why would I serve in the military of a country I don’t even live in?”

It sounded like a logical and reasonable answer to Sunoo. Jaeyun’s grandmother didn’t agree, if the way her lips turned down sharply into a frown was any indicator.

“My legs are getting tired,” she said. “I’m going to sit down. Wait here and pay for the order after Sunoo-ssi finishes.”

“Yes, Halmeoni,” Jaeyun said.

His grandmother handed him a few crumpled won bills and then went to one of the small tables to sit down. Sunoo placed the final rice cake into the box. They kept a few spools of ribbon in the drawer under the cash register for orders like these, so he opened it and took out two spools.

“I’m sorry about her,” Jaeyun said. “She can be… intense.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Sunoo said. “Plenty of people have told me the same thing ever since I graduated. They all like to question my life choices.”

Even the owners of the bakery didn’t know why he hadn’t enlisted as soon as he graduated from high school, since he didn’t have any university opportunities already lined up. He couldn’t exactly tell them that he was an omega, so therefore he wasn’t obligated to serve in the military. Sunoo wouldn’t be able to start that exemption process until he started taking omega hormones and got an official letter from a psychologist and… Sunoo shook his head. It wouldn’t do any good to think about all of that right now. He was getting ahead of himself.

“Well, I don’t think you’re making any bad life choices,” Jaeyun said. “I wish I had taken some time off once I graduated. I went straight into university.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad either,” Sunoo said.

He started to tie the first ribbon around the box, hoping that the blue and yellow ribbons were summery enough for Jaeyun’s grandmother.

“I have to ask,” Jaeyun said. “Do you remember me?”

Sunoo glanced up at him. He looked a little anxious. It made him appear even cuter than he already was.

“Yes,” Sunoo said. “You’re Sim Jaeyun. You broke the zipper on my lunchbox when I was eight years-old.”

He finished tying a bow with the blue ribbon and then reached for the yellow so that he could do the same with that color.

“I… I did do that, didn’t I?” Jaeyun said, scratching the back of his neck. “I didn’t think you would remember that. I didn’t think you would remember me at all.”

“You ruined my Pokémon lunchbox,” Sunoo said. “You’re not easy to forget.”

Sunoo had no idea what he was doing. He had planned on just greeting Jaeyun normally, not bringing up the past. Their incredibly juvenile past. He meant what he said though, and Sunoo always tried his best to be honest. Sunoo had never forgotten Jaeyun. He couldn’t. Sim Jaeyun was the first person he had ever had a crush on.

“I can buy you a new one,” Jaeyun said.

“You don’t have to do that,” Sunoo said, laughing.

“I should though,” Jaeyun said. “I should make it right.”

“It happened so long ago, sunbae,” Sunoo said. “You really don’t have to.”

He finished tying the ribbons on the box, his hands now resting on top of it. There was nothing left for him to do besides take the money from Jaeyun and send him on his way. Sunoo should have worked slower. He doubted there would be a reason for him to see Jaeyun again. His grandmother could make a box of two dozen rice cakes last for nearly an entire month.

“You can just call me Jake,” Jaeyun said. “‘Sunbae’ sounds weird too. We haven’t gone to the same school in years.”

“Jake,” Sunoo said, repeating the name. “Is that your English name?”

“Yeah, it is,” he said. “My friends never call me Jaeyun. It’s just my family that still does. Even my older brother calls me Jake. Heeseung does too.”

“Oh,” Sunoo said. “I guess I can call you that too.”

Sunoo hoped that his face hadn’t changed at the mention of Heeseung. He had no idea that Jaeyun – no, Jake – still kept in touch with him after all these years. It made sense that he didn’t know though. Sunoo didn’t know Lee Heeseung that well. He used to be indifferent to him, but lately he had garnered a strong dislike for him.

“Here you go,” Jake said, handing him the money his grandmother had given him. She was still sitting at one of the tables, looking outside a window at the bright, sunny day. “The colors you chose are nice.”

“Thanks,” Sunoo said. “She said she wanted something for summer. So, yellow for the sun and blue for the ocean? I tried my best.”

“I think it looks great,” Jake said. “I’ll see you around, Sunoo.”

“Bye, Jake-hyung,” Sunoo said, waving to him.

Jake had only taken a few steps away from him until he turned around again.

“Just ‘Jake’ is fine,” he said. “You don’t have to call me hyung. I’m not that much older than you.”

“Whatever you say, hyung,” Sunoo said.

He kept his tone light and he was happy to see Jake grin at his response. Jake shook his head, clearly amused with him, but not saying anything else. He joined his grandmother who was now standing next to the door, looking more than a little impatient.

Sunoo watched them leave with a hand on his cheek. His face felt warmer than usual, like he was running a fever, even though he didn’t feel sick at all.

“Are you drooling?”

The voice made Sunoo jolt slightly in surprise. He looked over to Riki’s table where he had closed his sketchbook and was sitting with his hands folded on top of it. Sunoo had forgotten he was even there. He must have been watching the entire interaction.

“Oh, shut up, Riki,” he said.

-: ✧ :-

Sunoo walked through the market with his mother, her arm looped around one of his while he had a canvas tote bag on his free shoulder. They had just arrived and sweat was already beading at the back of his neck. It was always so hot, right in the middle of the summer. He could barely stand it.

“Should we get some peaches?” his mother asked as they slowly entered the row lined with produce stalls. “Watermelon would be good too.”

“I like both of those options,” he said. “Do you want to split up? We can finish faster that way.”

“Why would we want to do that?” she said. “You spend all of your time at the bakery these days. I’ve missed spending time with my son.”

He had missed spending time with her, too. Sunoo just wanted to finish quickly so that he could get out of the sun. He didn’t tell her that though. She tightened her arm around his and they marched into the market, ready to visit each stall and check prices and get free samples.

Sunoo had never known his father. He knew that he had one, that there was a man who existed who had gotten his mother pregnant and then left. His mother had never given him any information about him and he had only asked a few times before realizing that she never would. It didn’t matter, he had realized once he had gotten older. His mother was enough for him. She had raised him all on her own. Even Sunoo’s grandparents hadn’t offered her any help.

Aside from Jungwon, Sunghoon, Jongseong, and Riki, she was the only person who knew he was an omega. After Jungwon, she had been the second person he told. She didn’t understand then, and he didn’t think that she still fully understood now, but she had accepted it. He supposed that was all he could really ask for, at least for now since it was still recent in her mind.

“Look at him,” she said, tugging on the sleeve of Sunoo’s t-shirt so that she could get his attention. He had been too busy inspecting peaches to see which ones were bruised. They could usually haggle for a lower price with those. “Sunoo-yah, you didn’t tell me that Jungwon had… blossomed.”

He would have commented on her strange word choice, if he wasn’t so curious to see what she was talking about. Sunoo looked away from the peaches to see Jungwon, just a few stalls down from them. Usually he went to the weekend market with his parents and sister, but Jungwon seemed to be alone this morning. Sometimes, if Jungwon spent the night at his house, he would come with Sunoo and his mother.

They never dressed up to go to the market. It always took place early in the morning on the weekends. Most people showed up in sweatpants and loose shirts, with no makeup and their hair hidden by a hat. Jungwon followed that unofficial dress code as well, but not today. Just like he was now wearing a skirt for his school uniform, he was trying something different at the market too. Jungwon was wearing white linen pants that were tight around his waist and a pretty floral patterned shirt with flowy sleeves. There was a small strip of skin showing between the bottom of his shirt and the top of his pants. Sunoo had never seen him wear anything like that before, especially not to the market.

“Oh my,” his mother said. She tugged on Sunoo’s shirt again.

He took his eyes off of Jungwon’s clothes and was finally able to see the bigger picture. Sunoo even heard a couple of gasps and whispers from other patrons. Standing behind Jungwon, holding a bouquet of roses that must have just been paid for at one of the flower stalls, was Lee Heeseung. His hair was short and he was dressed like everyone else at the market, in a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, in total contrast to how dressed up Jungwon was. Heeseung tapped on Jungwon’s shoulder and he turned around, not even looking surprised. They must have come to the market together and Heeseung had wandered off to buy flowers for him.

“I didn’t know that Heeseung had been discharged already,” Sunoo said, bringing his attention back to the peaches. “Last time I saw him was in February. He had been on leave.”

“Maybe he’s on leave again,” his mother said. “Or he’s finally been discharged. Why don’t you go and ask him? He’s looks close to Jungwon, so I’m sure he’ll tell you.”

“I don’t care enough to ask,” Sunoo said.

Finally, he started to bag up the peaches that he wanted, the ones with bruises and scrapes, a few that were a little too soft and wouldn’t be good for that much longer. He was hoping to get a discount, but the owner of the stall’s attention was on Heeseung and Jungwon, just like most other people at the market.

“Do you know if Lee Heeseung was discharged?” Sunoo’s mother asked the owner.

It took a few moments for the woman to respond. Her eyes were still locked on Heeseung and Jungwon, who were walking away from them now. Jungwon was holding the bouquet in his arms while Heeseung walked next to him, their arms brushing slightly since they were so close.

“I heard he was discharged yesterday,” the owner said. “He went straight to the Yang family’s house. He hadn’t even changed out of his uniform yet. I spoke to one of their neighbors about it. Lee Heeseung stayed in the house for nearly two hours before going back home.”

“Why was he in there for so long?” Sunoo’s mother asked. “What happened?”

“I have no idea,” the owner said. “No one does. Whatever happened seemed to have gone well though. Yang Jungwon doesn’t have a courting collar on, but Heeseung escorted him here today, alone. His parents aren’t here to chaperone. It’s just the two of them.”

“And Jungwon hasn’t told you anything about this, Sunoo?” his mother asked.

“Not a single thing,” Sunoo said, shrugging his shoulders. He offered the bag of peaches to the attendant. “Ahjumma, can I get a discount on these? Some of them don’t look that great. Your selection today isn’t as good as it usually is.”

These words seemed to have made her angry enough to take her attention off of Heeseung and Jungwon. Sunoo instantly felt more at ease. Haggling at the market was much easier than hearing gossip about his best friend and the alpha who was a little too close to him, in Sunoo’s opinion.

It took him longer than usual to wear down the owner of the peach stand, but he eventually was able to walk away with a slightly discounted price and two free nectarines. He went through the market with a bit more pep in his step, excited to move on to the next stall to see what else he could negotiate.

His joy didn’t last long though. Instead of heading to a stand selling ears of corn, his mother swerved. There was a tiny table set up at the end of the row. Sitting on a stool behind it was a woman in her thirties, bouncing a baby on her lap. On display was a small selection of handmade jewelry.

“Hello,” Sunoo’s mother said, smiling at the attendant and her child. “Did you make these yourself?”

“I did,” the woman said. “This is my first time setting up here. I haven’t had much business though.”

“You will,” Sunoo’s mother assured. “We like to buy from people we know, but a lot of the villagers like to look at new things as well. Sunoo, come here. Look at this necklace.”

She held up the necklace for him. It had a long silver chain and at the end of it was a glass circle, almost like a window pane. Inside of it were a few pressed flowers, trapped in the glass. It was very pretty.

“It’s nice,” he said. “You should get it.”

“I think I will,” she said. “I like forget-me-nots.” Her eyes went back to the table. She picked up another necklace, almost identical to the one she was holding. Instead of small blue flowers in the glass, there was a single pink flower instead. “Is this a cherry blossom?”

“It is,” the woman said.

“I’ll buy this one as well,” his mother said.

Sunoo watched as she paid for the necklaces, silently wondering why she needed two of them. His mother didn’t wear jewelry often; it was usually something she saved for special occasions. He could understand why she bought the first one, since she really did seem to like it, but the second necklace didn’t make any sense to him.

Fortunately, he didn’t have to wait too long to understand her reasoning. As they walked away from the stall, she grabbed his hand and placed the cherry blossom necklace into his palm. The shop owner had wrapped it up in paper, but he knew which one it was.

“For you,” she said. “Consider it a late birthday present. I think…” She took a deep, slightly shaky breath before she smiled. “I think it’ll look lovely on you.”

There was a lump in his throat now. It definitely hadn’t been there earlier. Sunoo closed his hand around the necklace before nodding eagerly. It was the first time she had ever bought him something like this and he knew that he was going to cherish it forever.

-: ✧ :-

Sunoo sat on his bed, staring at the three unopened packages he had in front of him. He had been trying his best to save all of his money and spend only a little bit at a time, when it was absolutely necessary. That hadn’t worked out for him about a week ago. He had been awake past midnight and the internet and all that it offered him was so much more tempting at that time of night.

Before he could berate himself anymore for his poor financial decisions, Sunoo grabbed the first package. It was lightweight and soft and he instantly knew what it was, his face becoming warm. After midnight, he was not only capable of spending too much money, but he was also much bolder than he usually was in the daytime. Sunoo grabbed a pair of scissors from his desk and then carefully opened up the package before dumping the contents onto his bed.

There was a lot of pink, in lots of different shades and fabrics. A few other colors featured among the garments as well, but pink was definitely the most dominant color. Sunoo pressed his lips together, feeling embarrassed with himself because he didn’t realize that he had ordered that many. He put his arm on the bed, using it to sweep the individually wrapped pairs of underwear to the side. That could wait until later.

Sunoo grabbed the second package and used the scissors to cut this one open as well. He felt a bit more at ease, since the first package he opened had been the most embarrassing one. Once again, Sunoo dumped the contents on the bed, this time feeling a bit giddier. Everything in this bag was so nice. From the lightweight, flowy tops with lace trim, and floral and polka dot prints, to the pair of jeans that weren’t boxy and stiff, but were meant to accentuate curves and flare out a bit. He folded each article of clothing once he had held it up in front of his face, sighing over how pretty everything was.

More than anything, he wanted to try them on, but he couldn’t. It would only disappoint him, wearing such nice clothes, but not being able to wear them freely outside. Sunoo looked at the last package and wondered if he should save it for later. He knew what was in it and it was what he had been anticipating the most.

Before he could decide, he heard a door open. He lived in a small house with his mother. All of the rooms were close together, so he could hear everything clearly. Footsteps were approaching his room and he panicked, quickly shoving his purchases under his covers and then standing.

“Sunoo-yah,” his mother said when she opened the door. “I’m heading to work. Can you go to the grocery store today? We’re out of toothpaste. I think I left just enough for you to brush your teeth.”

“Okay,” Sunoo said.

He was standing in the middle of his room, with his hands behind his back. Sunoo didn’t dare look at his bed. He didn’t want to draw attention to it. If she thought that he was acting strangely, she didn’t mention it.

“I’ll see you for dinner tonight,” she said. “It’s your day off, so you should have fun today.”

Sunoo nodded, giving her a bright smile and waving as she slowly closed the door to his room. Once it was fully shut, he collapsed onto his bed, his heart beating quickly in his chest. He didn’t know why he was so scared. Sunoo didn’t think that she would make him feel bad for his recent purchases, if she saw them. He just wasn’t sure he was ready for her to see them.

After giving his heart a moment to calm down, Sunoo got ready for the day. The bakery was always closed on Monday, so he had the entire day to himself. Usually, he would call Jungwon and see if he wanted to make plans, but that wasn’t an option for him. He supposed he could plan his day as it went along. First, he could go to the grocery store to buy toothpaste and then he would walk around town and hope that another activity would present itself, to save him from potential boredom.

Sunoo went to the bathroom to wash his face and squeeze the very last bit of toothpaste from the tube so that he could brush his teeth. He combed through his hair and then went back to his room to decide what he was going to wear. Like all days in July, the heat was sticky and insufferable, so he knew that he should wear something light. He chose a white t-shirt and a pair of jean shorts. It wasn’t that exciting, but it would keep him cool enough so that he wouldn’t feel like he was suffering in the heat.

He glanced at his desk where he had placed the necklace his mother had bought for him at the market. That had been a few days ago and he hadn’t worn it in public yet. Sunoo picked it up, observing the tiny dried cherry blossom trapped in the pendant. It would be a shame to just leave it in his room, locked away from the world. He put it on and just as he was about to hide it under his shirt, he decided against it. The pendant rested slightly above his heart and against the white fabric of his shirt, it was difficult to miss.

Toothpaste was the only thing his mother told him that they needed, but he still went around the house with a pad of a paper and a pen, jotting down anything else he should buy. They only had two eggs left and they were running low on sesame oil as well. He went to their shared bathroom and inspected everything there, adding shaving cream to the list since they both seemed to be running low.

Eventually, he left the house with the grocery list and his wallet tucked away in his pocket. He stretched his arms over his head once he left their small front yard. Swaying from side to side, he let the summer sun warm him up. He didn’t care for the heat, but Sunoo did enjoy how bright and sunny it was during this time of year.

The grocery store wasn’t a very long walk from their home and it was mostly downhill. The bakery was farther away, so he always rode his bike, but since the grocery store was close, he decided to walk instead. On the way, he passed a few of his neighbors who were also on a morning walk. They greeted each other and Sunoo couldn’t help but wonder if any of them noticed his necklace. No one commented on it or gave him strange looks, so he assumed that they hadn’t noticed or they just didn’t care.

Sunoo arrived at the grocery store to see that the front door was open and that multiple fans were on inside, in an attempt to cool down the shop. Jake’s grandmother was at the register, sitting on a stool and fanning herself with a folded newspaper. He bowed to her in greeting and then ventured into the store to find the items on his list. In the toiletries aisle, restocking shampoo and conditioner, was Jake.

“Good morning, hyung,” Sunoo said.

Jake looked up from the shelf he had been restocking to face Sunoo instead. He smiled at him, bright and genuine and Sunoo’s stomach did a little flip.

“Hey, Sunoo,” he said. “What are you doing here so early?”

“My mom needed me to buy a few things,” Sunoo said. “I see that you’re working early as well.”

“Way too early,” Jake said. He straightened his back and rose up onto his tiptoes so that he could look over the shelf. Sunoo imagined that he was looking to see where his grandmother was. “My grandma doesn’t let me sleep in. If I’m late to work, she won’t make dinner for me.”

“That’s harsh,” Sunoo said. His eyes went to the shelf he was standing next to. There were a few different toothpastes so he scanned over his options. “At least you’re getting paid.”

“I’m not,” Jake said. “This isn’t paid labor, it’s family labor. That’s what my dad said, anyway. I was hoping my brother would come to help, but he was allowed to stay in Australia.” Jake held up his hands and started doing air quotes. “He’s ‘working on his thesis.’”

He rolled his eyes and then finished stocking the shelf he had been working on. Jake took a box cutter out of his pocket and opened up another one of the cardboard boxes he had placed next to him. This one was full of bars of soap.

“And you don’t have a thesis to work on?” Sunoo asked.

“Not yet,” Jake said. “I only just finished my first year at university. I don’t have any homework for the summer or any summer classes to take, so my parents sent me here to help out at the store.”

Sunoo grabbed the toothpaste that his mother always bought, one of the cheapest ones that promised less frequent trips to the dentist for teeth cleanings. He turned around to see that the shaving cream was right behind him. Sunoo picked up two cans, an unscented one that he used to shave his face and his mother’s favorite that smelled like mangoes. He hesitated for a moment, looking at the other options. Sunoo had started shaving his own legs and underarms recently. He usually used the same shaving cream that he used on his face, but he hadn’t realized how many other types there were.

“The purple one,” Jake said.

“What?” Sunoo said. He looked over his shoulder to see that Jake was sitting on the floor as he sorted through the different bar soaps. “What purple one?”

“It smells like lavender,” Jake said. “My mom uses that one. We have the same brand in Australia.”

“Oh,” Sunoo said. There was in fact a purple can of shaving cream right in front of his face. “I don’t really like lavender though. I think the scent is a little too strong for me.”

He hadn’t even realized what he had said until he heard something hit the linoleum floor. Sunoo looked over his shoulder to see that Jake had dropped a bar of soap in its little cardboard box. He picked it up quickly and Sunoo turned his head so that he was staring at the shaving cream again, his cheeks feeling warm.

“Coconut,” Sunoo said, grabbing the next one that he saw. “That sounds nice.”

Sunoo added it to his collection of purchases, cradling them all in his arms. He wished he hadn’t said anything and had just gone along with pretending that he was buying everything for his mom. It would have been easier that way.

He planned on leaving the aisle as quickly as he could, but Jake shot up to his feet.

“I can grab a basket for you,” Jake said. “If you’re going to buy anything else, you might have trouble carrying it all.”

“I can manage,” Sunoo said. “You don’t have to get one for me.”

“I want to though,” Jake said. “Just stay right here.”

Before Sunoo could protest any more, Jake left him in the aisle with his armful of toothpaste and shaving cream, and a box of bar soap at his feet. He came back less than a minute later with a metal shopping basket for Sunoo to put his items in.

“Thank you,” Sunoo said, taking it from him.

He was more than ready to leave when Jake spoke to him again.

“Your legs look really good,” he said.

Sunoo looked away from his basket so that he could stare at Jake, feeling more than a little startled by the random statement. Jake seemed to be equally surprised since Sunoo could see him mentally trying to come up with an excuse for whatever he had just said.

“I don’t know why I just said that,” was the response that Jake finally decided on.

“I don’t know why you did either,” Sunoo said. “Would you like to use the excuse that you’re still getting used to regularly speaking Korean?”

“That would be a great excuse,” Jake said, “and you’re very kind to offer it to me. But I… I just… You look nice. That’s all that I meant. I didn’t – I didn’t want you to feel embarrassed about what you said or about shaving your legs, because I think it’s cool. I don’t care what you do to your body. It’s your body and you look good and I’m… I’m making it worse, aren’t I?”

“A little bit,” Sunoo said. “I think I understand what you’re trying to say though, so… Thank you, hyung.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

Jake smiled at him and he looked so relieved, like the biggest worry of his life was that Sunoo might have misinterpreted his words. Sunoo returned the smile and then walked around him, heading to the actual grocery section of the small store.

As he got the eggs and sesame oil and a container of jangajji that was on sale, Sunoo thought about how handsome Jake was when he smiled and how adorable he was when he was flustered. It reminded him of back when they were in school and Jake had broken the zipper on his lunchbox. Sunoo wasn’t proud to admit that he had cried. It had been a birthday present from his mother and one of his most prized possessions. Jake’s – no, Jaeyun’s – entire face had lit up in panic as Sunoo cried. He had apologized so many times and even looked like he was about to start crying too.

It had been the worst thing that ever happened to him at the time, but even back then Jaeyun had tried his best to make it better. The lunchbox had had Vulpix on it, his favorite Pokémon. Jaeyun had told him that it was a sign that the zipper had broken. His lunchbox was ready to evolve into a beautiful Ninetales.

Sunoo put his hand over his mouth, trying his best not to laugh out loud at the memory. It was so ridiculous now, but at the time it had made him feel a little bit better.

He went to the counter and made small talk about the weather with Jake’s grandmother as she bagged his items. Sunoo grabbed the paper bag from her once she was done and paid her, before leaving the store. He had barely gotten the chance to walk out of the door, when Jake called after him.

“Sunoo,” Jake said, meeting him outside. “Can I ask you something?”

“Um, sure,” Sunoo said.

This was unexpected. Sunoo had thought that their conversation had ended inside. He wasn’t upset though. He liked talking to Jake.

“Do you work at the bakery every day?” Jake asked.

“No,” Sunoo said. “We’re closed on Mondays, so I won’t be there today. I’m there for the rest of the week though.”

“Okay,” Jake said, nodding his head and taking in this information. “So, if I wanted to see you, then I can just come to the bakery any day that isn’t Monday?”

“That is correct,” Sunoo said.

“And, if it’s Monday, could I text you, if I wanted to see you?”

He was asking for Sunoo’s number. Sim Jaeyun was asking for his number in the most roundabout way possible. Sunoo took his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it.

“Yes, you can text me,” Sunoo said, trying his best not to make his pleased smile too obvious. “I would like that.”

They exchanged numbers and Sunoo’s stomach was doing more than just one single, tiny flip. It was tumbling around now, competing for a world title.

“Friday night, will you be at the bakery?” Jake asked. “Will you be there until eight o’clock?”

“The bakery closes at six,” Sunoo said. “I’ll probably be home by seven.”

“Would you want to come to the beach instead?” Jake said. “There’s going to be a party there. It’s for Heeseung, since he just got discharged from the military. It’s his welcome back party. I’m going to be there and I’d… I’d like it if you were there too.”

Sunoo couldn’t think of anything that he would like to do less than go to a party that celebrated Lee Heeseung’s return to their town. Jungwon would definitely be there and Sunoo didn’t want to run into him. He didn’t want to see Heeseung either.

But, Jake would be there. And Jake wanted him to come.

“Is it okay that you’re inviting me to someone else’s party?” Sunoo asked.

“Heeseung won’t care,” Jake said. “He’ll be too busy giving Jungwon all of his attention.”

“That’s true,” Sunoo said, trying not to sound too bitter. “Fine. I can go. I don’t have plans for that night anyway.”

Sunoo never had any plans besides working, but Jake didn’t need to know that.

“Awesome,” Jake said. “I’ll see you then.”

“I guess you will,” Sunoo said.

He gave him a final wave and then walked away from the store, a smile playing on his lips. Sunoo didn’t even try to suppress it either. He was sure that he was going to keep smiling all the way home, even walking uphill.

-: ✧ :-

“Do a twirl for me,” Jongseong said, moving his face closer to the webcam.

“I’m not going to twirl,” Sunoo said.

“Yes, you are,” Jongseong said. “I’m awake at 6 AM to help you with this. Step back a little bit so that I can see all of you.” Sunoo took a few steps back so that his entire body was in view. “Good. Now, twirl.”

Sunoo sighed, his shoulders sagging with him. He did as Jongseong said, spinning around slowly in one full circle and then stopping again. Jongseong didn’t seem that impressed. Sunghoon had woken up with him to join them on the call, but he had fallen back asleep. His head was resting on Jongseong’s shoulder as he slept.

“You look okay,” Jongseong said. “Something is missing though.”

“I don’t have my shoes on yet,” Sunoo said.

“That doesn’t matter,” Jongseong said. “It’s a beach party. Just wear your sandals. You’ll take them off once you get to the beach anyway.”

“Then what am I missing?” Sunoo asked.

“Do another twirl.”

“Nothing has changed since the last time I did a twirl.”

“Just do it again.”

He spun slower this time, stomping his feet as he moved. Once he stopped to face the camera again, Jongseong was looking even more perplexed. Sunoo turned to look at himself in his own mirror. It wasn’t the most exciting outfit he could have worn. His mind kept going back to the clothes he had bought online recently. They were so much prettier than the ones he was wearing, but he wasn’t ready to wear them in public yet. Especially not in front of Jake.

Sunoo was wearing a sky blue shirt that was tucked into a pair of white jean shorts that were just slightly shorter than what he usually wore. He even had his cherry blossom necklace on and he had spent extra time on his hair, hoping to make it look stylishly tousled.

“Have you figured out what’s missing?” Sunoo asked. “Because I haven’t.”

“I’m not sure,” Jongseong said. “You look good, but it’s like you’re just shy of your full potential. I want to make sure you look your best.”

“Thanks, hyung.”

“This is a date, after all.”

If Jongseong had actually been in the room with him, Sunoo would have punched him. His face felt like it was on fire and he knew that his red cheeks were coming across the webcam, even if the quality wasn’t the best.

“It’s not a date,” Sunoo said. “It’s a party. A lot of people are going to be there.”

“Yeah, but this Jake guy specifically wanted you there,” Jongseong said.

“He’s a beta,” Sunoo said. “And he thinks I’m a beta too. It’d be pretty bold of him to ask me out on a date.”

“Isn’t he leaving at the end of the summer?” Jongseong said. “If you turned him down, he would just be leaving you soon anyway. There would be no lasting embarrassment that he would have to live with.”

Sunoo wanted to mention that Jongseong must know all about lasting embarrassments, but he bit his tongue. Jongseong had moved past that part in his life. He looked at Sunghoon who was still sleeping peacefully on Jongseong’s shoulder, sinking even further into the couch that they were sitting on together. Jongseong had everything that he had always wanted. All embarrassments now were minor compared to what he had gone through before to get to where he was.

“Well, I hope it’s not a date,” Sunoo said. “That sounds too complicated.”

“It’s only as complicated as you make it,” Jongseong said. “Earrings. That’s what’s missing.”

“I’m already wearing earrings,” Sunoo said. He touched his earlobes, coming into contact with the pair of small silver hoops he usually wore. “The camera quality is bad, so you probably can’t see them.”

“I can seem them just fine,” Jongseong said. “They’re boring though. You should wear something that matches your necklace.”

“I don’t really have any pairs like that,” Sunoo said. “Most of my earrings are pretty plain.”

“Can you borrow a pair from your mom?” Jongseong asked.

“I suppose I could,” Sunoo said. “She’s not home right now, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” Jongseong said. “Go see what she has.”

He knew that Jongseong wasn’t going to let this go, so Sunoo agreed. His mother’s room was right next to his, so it didn’t take him long to reach her jewelry collection. She didn’t have a lot, but there were a few pair of earrings that he had always admired.

Sunoo picked up his favorite. It was a pair of dangly earrings that had a single chain hanging from each stud. At the bottom was a small pink crystal, neither of the stones were the exact same shape, so it made the earrings a little unique. The color matched his necklace and they weren’t too flashy. He took out his silver hoops and replaced them with the drop earrings instead. Biting his lip, he went back to his bedroom.

“What about these?” Sunoo asked once he was back on camera.

“Those are nice,” Jongseong said. “They look good.”

“They do?” Sunoo asked. “It’s not too much? I don’t look weird?”

“You look great,” Jongseong said. “And if anyone thinks you look weird, then let me know and I can get on a plane. I’ll be there in a day or two and I can teach them a lesson.”

He held up a fist to the camera and Sunoo shook his head, hoping that he looked unimpressed.

“Hyung, everyone in this village knows you,” Sunoo said. “We all know that you’ve never gotten into a fight before. You’re too soft.”

“Maybe I’ve changed in the past two years,” Jongseong said. “I’ve gotten into a lot of fights since moving to the States.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“But they don’t know that.”

“Your last Instagram post is a poem that you wrote about Sunghoon’s fingernails,” Sunoo said. “Everyone knows how soft you are.”

Jongseong looked like he was about to argue, but Sunghoon stirred on his shoulder. They both stopped talking and watched as Sunghoon’s face scrunched up before relaxing. He nuzzled into Jongseong’s neck and Sunoo could practically see Jongseong start to melt.

“I should go,” Jongseong said. “I’m going to see if I can get him back to bed.”

“Good luck with that,” Sunoo said.

“And good luck with your date.”

Before Sunoo could once again deny that he was going on a date, Jongseong ended the video call, leaving him with a blank screen. He sighed, leaning forward so that he could close his laptop. Sunoo had almost wished that their conversation could go on forever. He was nervous for the night and bickering with one of his friends was much less daunting than going to a party full of people that he didn’t know that well.

In school, Sunoo had been a social butterfly. Jungwon had always been his best friend, but he had had plenty of friends in his own year as well. He kept in touch with most of them through texting and social media, but he hadn’t seen them in person lately. Most were taking trips for the summer, or settling into their new lives as university students, or joining the military. Sunoo felt like he was the only one who had been left behind.

He left the house with just enough time to spare so that he would only be around ten minutes late. Parties like this never started on time and it usually didn’t matter when someone showed up. It wasn’t even a birthday party, so there would be no cake to cut or gifts to open.

The beach was close to the bakery, so it was best to take his bike. He decided to walk instead, knowing that that would add extra time to his commute. If he showed up even later, then less attention would be on him. Nothing was as bad as showing up to a party early and being one of the first people to arrive.

It hadn’t been long since the sun had started to set, so the sky was still covered in shades of pinks and purples and oranges. He looked up at it while he walked, enjoying the view even if the air around him was still stiflingly hot. His mind started to wander to Jake. Was this really a date? Or did Jake just want a familiar face at the party to rely on? Was Jake even interested in him like that? The two hadn’t spoken to each other in years. Their conversations since Jake had returned had been short as well. They didn’t have much to work on, but Sunoo knew that Jake wanted him to come.

And that thought alone was enough to give him some kind of hope.

By the time he reached the party, the sun had completely set. A bonfire had been lit on the beach and there was a small crowd of people standing around it. Someone was manning a grill and music was playing from a pair of wireless speakers. Once Sunoo stepped on the sand, he slipped his sandals off and carried them to the bonfire.

As he got closer, he was able to recognize some familiar faces. Heeseung was in the center of the crowd, his arm around Jungwon’s waist as he spoke to his friends. Jungwon wasn’t speaking, but he seemed to be listening intently to whatever Heeseung was joking about. He looked like a perfect omega tonight as well, just like he had at the market. Jungwon had on a dress that went down to his ankles, but had a long slit up the side. It was made of a satiny material, so it reflected the light of the bonfire. Sunoo thought that it made him look even more like a trophy.

“Sunoo!”

He tore his eyes away from Jungwon, looking into the direction of the person who had called his name. Sunoo smiled when he saw Jake standing by the outskirts of the fire, waving his arms at him. He noticed Jungwon turn to look at him too, but Sunoo didn’t look back at him. Instead, he went to Jake whose smile seemed to become brighter with every step he took.

“I was starting to think that you weren’t going to show up,” Jake said.

“Why would you think that?” Sunoo asked.

“You’re late.”

“I’m not that late,” Sunoo said. “And who shows up to parties on time?”

“I do,” Jake said. “I was here right at eight o’clock.”

Sunoo didn’t know why, but he wasn’t surprised by that at all.

“You seem like the type,” Sunoo said. He looked at the other partygoers. Most people were sitting around and talking. Some were waiting in line for food. “So, what are we doing?”

“Whatever we want, I guess,” Jake said. “I think they were talking about starting a game of volleyball soon, if you want to do that.”

“No thanks,” Sunoo said. “I don’t really like sports.”

“Yeah, you seem like the type.”

Jake started to laugh, clearly pleased with himself for being able to turn Sunoo’s words around on him. Sunoo didn’t mind it either. He liked Jake’s laugh.

“I’m going to get something to drink,” Sunoo said.

“I can get it for you,” Jake said. “What do you want?”

“I’ll take a beer,” Sunoo said.

That made Jake pause. He looked at Sunoo with his head tilted, almost like he was using all of his brainpower to calculate something.

“And you’re old enough for that, right?” Jake asked.

“Of course I am,” Sunoo said. “I’m 20. In Australia I would be,” he stopped for a moment, thinking of what his international age would be, “19. Isn’t that old enough to drink?”

“It is,” Jake said. “I just wanted to make sure.” His grin seemed to get even bigger. “I’m 19, too. I won’t turn 20 until my birthday in November. We’re the same age, so calling me hyung–”

“Hurry back, hyung,” Sunoo said, cutting him off. “I’m thirsty.”

It was like he couldn’t lose with Jake. Everything he said just made Jake laugh even louder. He was delighted by every word that left Sunoo’s mouth. It was a nice feeling, being so openly adored by someone. Sunoo couldn’t help but wonder if Jake would still find him so charming if he knew everything about Sunoo’s true identity. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind though. That didn’t matter. Jongseong was right. Jake was only here for the summer. He would be gone soon and Sunoo wouldn’t have to worry about him again.

The thought was both comforting and depressing.

“Here you go,” Jake said once he returned and offered Sunoo a glass bottle with the cap already off.

“Thank you,” Sunoo said, taking it from him.

He took a sip and instantly tried his best not to wince. Beer wasn’t his favorite drink, but it would have to do for the night. He had a feeling that being a little buzzed was going to help him during this party.

“Do you want to sit and talk?” Jake asked. “We could dance. No one else is dancing, but we could maybe get something started. The beach is really nice this time of night, so a walk–”

“Sunoo-hyung.”

And suddenly, whatever magic that had started to brew between them quickly fizzled out. Sunoo had been nervous for this night, but he had also been looking forward to it. He didn’t get much attention from cute boys he used to have crushes on. Getting to know Jake better was something that he had been excited about.

“Hi, Jungwonie,” Sunoo said, looking away from Jake so that he could face Jungwon instead.

Up close, Sunoo could see that he was wearing makeup again, similar to what he had been wearing a couple of weeks ago on the last day of school. His eyes looked like they had been lined tonight though, making them darker and even more defined.

“Can we talk?” Jungwon said. He glanced at Jake. “It won’t take long. Just a few minutes.”

Sunoo didn’t think that what they needed to talk about could be solved in such a short amount of time, but he was willing to give him a chance. He handed his beer back to Jake.

“I’ll be back,” Sunoo said.

Jake nodded and then Sunoo followed Jungwon. He walked toward the ocean, away from the party and the noise. Heeseung was still in the middle of his friends, laughing and enjoying being the center of attention. Sunoo wondered if he had even noticed that Jungwon had left his side.

Once they made it to the water, Jungwon fisted his hands into the skirt of his dress before lifting it. He walked into the sea, the water lapping at his ankles. Sunoo dropped his sandals on the ground before standing next to Jungwon, enjoying the feeling of the water and wet sand between his toes.

“I’ve really missed you, hyung,” Jungwon said. “This summer break hasn’t been the same without you.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Sunoo said.

They were off to an easy start. Sunoo had truly missed Jungwon, so admitting that wasn’t difficult for him at all.

“I know that I’ve been keeping my distance,” Jungwon said. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Wonyoung and the other omegas in my class.”

“And that’s great, Jungwonie,” Sunoo said before Jungwon could continue. “I’m glad that you have friends at school, even after I’ve graduated. They’re really sweet girls.”

He meant that as well. Sunoo had never been a jealous friend. He wanted Jungwon to be adored by as many people as possible. Befriending Wonyoung and her clique of fellow omegas wasn’t a bad thing at all in his eyes.

“Yeah, well, I’ve also been spending a lot of time with Heeseung-hyung, ever since he came back,” Jungwon said. “And I know that you’re mad at me because of that.”

Here they were, finally addressing the cause of their fight. The one and only major fight in their friendship had happened earlier that year. And Jungwon was choosing now of all times to discuss it with him.

“I’m not mad at you,” Sunoo said. “I’m mad at Heeseung, not you. When I think about you, I just feel… disappointed.”

It was the first time he had said it out loud. Sunoo hadn’t been able to tell anyone about his fight with Jungwon and the two of them haven’t really spoken in months. Everything that he had been feeling had been bottled up.

“Why?” Jungwon asked. “Why would you be mad at Heeseung-hyung? He didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong either. I know that you’re upset. I should have told you when it first started and then you walked in on–”

“I’m not upset that you hid it from me,” Sunoo said. “Actually, I am upset about that. That’s not the main reason though. I’m mad because he should know better. He took advantage of you.”

“No, he didn’t,” Jungwon said. “I’ve wanted everything we’ve done together.” He inhaled sharply and stood up taller. One thing about arguing with Jungwon was that he never made it easy for someone else to win. Jungwon was young and he looked small and defenseless, but he could take care of himself. Most of the time, anyway. “Hyung, you know how much I like him. I’ve liked him since I was five years-old and he’s finally paying attention to me. He doesn’t look at me like I’m a little kid anymore. I thought that you would be happy for me.”

Sunoo could perfectly imagine what Jungwon was like as a small child. They used to play together every day, alternating whose house they would go to. Jungwon lived in the nicer part of town, in a big house with a big yard to run around in, but he had never complained about coming to Sunoo’s much smaller home.

Jungwon had grown up next to the Lee family, who lived in an equally large and beautiful house. Sunoo couldn’t remember a time when Jungwon hadn’t admired Heeseung, the young alpha who lived next door who was three years older than him. Heeseung never paid much attention to either one of them. He was always nice, but it was clear that he didn’t want to be friends with little kids.

Sunoo wasn’t sure when Heeseung’s view of Jungwon had suddenly changed. He almost wished that he could go back to what it was like before.

“He should look at you like you’re a kid,” Sunoo said. “You’re still in high school, Jungwonie. You’re still a minor. You won’t graduate until next year. Heeseung has already finished his military service. He’s an adult. He shouldn’t be with you like this.”

“I don’t see what difference a year is going to make,” Jungwon said. “And he already talked to my parents, as soon as he got back from the military. They approved. He has their permission.”

“That’s… That’s good, I guess,” Sunoo said. He didn’t agree with Jungwon’s parents’ decision, but it wasn’t like he had more power than they did. “I’m just scared that he’s taking advantage of you.”

“He would never do that.”

“Jungwon, I walked into your room and you were on the bed together. He had his hand down your pants.”

And there it was, totally out in the open, the reason for their fight. It had been a week after Jungwon’s birthday. Heeseung had come back to the village since he had a few vacation days to use up before he was discharged in the summer. Sunoo didn’t even know that the two had any sort of connection outside of being neighbors. He had walked into Jungwon’s bedroom without bothering to knock, like he always did, to find the two of them on the bed.

It had resulted in Sunoo yelling and Heeseung hastily leaving and Jungwon sitting there, crying while trying to defend himself as Sunoo lectured him. He had to admit that it wasn’t his proudest moment. Sunoo could have handled it a lot better, but he still knew that he wasn’t in the wrong.

“Because I wanted him to,” Jungwon said, his cheeks turning red. “I asked him to. I’m not… I’m not going to be ashamed of what we did together. I like it when he touches me. I like being with him.”

“That’s not the point that I’m trying to make,” Sunoo said. “He’s an adult. You’re a–”

“Won-ah.”

Sunoo curled his hands into fists at his sides, his breath leaving him like it had been punched out. That was the end of his conversation with Jungwon for the night. They hadn’t made any progress and now he was feeling annoyed.

Heeseung walked behind Jungwon, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling Jungwon back against his chest.

“Why did you go running off?” Heeseung asked. “I turned around and you had disappeared.”

“I wanted to talk to Sunoo-hyung,” Jungwon said. “You were busy with your friends anyway.”

“I wasn’t busy with them,” Heeseung said. “You come first, you know that.”

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jungwon’s cheek. Heeseung waited for Jungwon to turn his head to look at him before he kissed his mouth next.

Sunoo lifted his feet out of the damp sand. He had sunk down a bit as the water had gone in and out on the shore. His sandals were where he left them, so he picked them up.

“Hyung,” Jungwon called out to him. He was tangled up in Heeseung’s arms. “I still want to talk.”

“Not tonight,” Sunoo said. “We can talk later. You know where to find me.”

He started to walk away, not wanting to spend any more time around them and ruin his mood. Sunoo should have known this was going to happen. He had so naively arrived at this party, thinking that he would spend the evening with Jake, and instead he had to listen to Jungwon defend his boyfriend.

Jake was where Sunoo had left him. He was still holding Sunoo’s beer, standing at the edge of the party. When he saw Sunoo approach him, he instantly relaxed. Sunoo imagined that the only people he knew at the party were Sunoo and Heeseung and, to some extent, Jungwon.

“Here you go,” Jake said, handing Sunoo his drink. He didn’t say anything as Sunoo took two large gulps from the bottle. “Did you two have a nice talk?”

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Sunoo said. He looked over to where an impromptu dancefloor had been made by a small group of people. “Did you mean what you said earlier? Do you really want to dance with me?”

“Of course I did,” Jake said. “I’m not the best dancer, so I can’t promise that I won’t step on your toes, but yeah, I want to dance with you.”

“Then let’s dance,” Sunoo said.

He dropped his sandals on the ground again, this time content to leave them there until the night was over. After taking a few more sips of his beer, Sunoo dropped the bottle as well before he took Jake’s hand and dragged him to where the others were dancing.

The playlist that had been selected was full of upbeat party songs, but Sunoo couldn’t bring himself to dance like everyone else. Sunoo put his hands on Jake’s shoulders and then wrapped his arms around them, leaning into him completely.

Jake was totally frozen at first, and Sunoo was worried that he had done the wrong thing, but then Jake’s hands were on his waist. His hands were so warm and Sunoo wondered if they were sweaty too, like he was as nervous as Sunoo was.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked, his breath tickling Sunoo’s neck as he spoke. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I’m fine,” Sunoo said.

He didn’t answer Jake’s other question. They swayed back and forth, not at all following along to the beat of the music. Sunoo heard a loud shriek and then a collection of cheers. He looked to the ocean, where Heeseung and Jungwon were still standing, this time much further into the water. A small crowd had gathered at the shore, watching as Heeseung lifted Jungwon into the air before spinning him around. Jungwon had been the one shrieking and he hit Heeseung’s shoulder before he finally set him down on his feet. The water came up to Jungwon’s hips as Heeseung took his face in his hands and kissed him.

Sunoo looked away, pressing his face completely against Jake’s neck now. The grip on his waist tightened and he felt Jake’s entire body stiffen in surprise.

“You’re shorter than me,” Sunoo said.

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” Jake said. His hands loosened their hold. They were now lightly massaging Sunoo’s waist, almost like he was trying to comfort him. “Is that okay?”

“I like it,” Sunoo said.

That was all that they said to each other for a while, both of them content to sway in silence while everything around them couldn’t be louder.

-: ✧ :-

The party changed things between him and Jake. Even though they hadn’t really had much between them to begin with. Still, he could feel some sort of shift. Jake started coming to the bakery regularly, usually after his shift was done at the grocery store. He worked there in the early mornings, stocking the shelves and helping with the afternoon rush before one of the part-timers came in to work.

Jake would come to the bakery in the late afternoon, entering with a broad smile and then ordering something different every time he came in. He had also taken a liking to Riki, so he would join him at his usual table.

Sunoo watched them from the counter, feeling a strange sort of fondness as he saw the two of them interact. Riki had been quiet at first, but now he also seemed to look forward to when Jake would stop by.

It was a rare cloudy day and the bakery hadn’t had many customers. Jake and Riki were sitting at their corner table while Riki tried to hide whatever he had been drawing in his sketchbook from Jake. It comforted Sunoo, knowing that he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t allowed to see Riki’s drawings.

“I have a question for you both,” Sunoo said as he walked to their table. He had brought a pot of jasmine tea with him, since that’s what both of them had ordered. Jake had finished his, but Riki’s cup still looked untouched. Sunoo wondered why he always ordered tea, if he never finished it. “How do you think I would look as a blond?”

The question was one that had been plaguing him since he was in middle school. He had been a little bit obsessed with idol groups ever since he was a kid, so whenever one of his favorite idols dyed their hair blond, he was amazed by how it completely changed their appearance. His schools had strict rules against students dyeing their hair, but now he was free. He had enough money to go to a nice salon. There wasn’t anything stopping him.

“I think you would look like yourself, but with blond hair,” Riki said.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re useless?” Sunoo asked.

“You have,” Riki said, unfazed, “a few times.”

“Well, I think you would look great,” Jake said. “It would really suit you.”

“Really?” Sunoo said. “You think so?”

A pair of butterflies had appeared in his stomach, flapping their pesky little wings. Sunoo almost felt like slapping his abdomen, as if that would make them stop. He knew that it wouldn’t. All it would do would make him look insane. It would probably hurt, too.

“Yeah, because you’re so…” Jake trailed off, his face scrunching up slightly as he tried to find the right word. “Sunny. And your name is Sunoo! You’re like the sun.”

Sunoo was grateful that he knew enough English words to recognize the word “sun.” He knew that it was a part of his name. Sunoo couldn’t remember anyone else ever making that connection before.

“I’m sunny?” Sunoo said, tilting his head to the side and playing dumb.

“I mean, you’re so… bright all of the time,” Jake said. “You’re cheerful. The sun is bright. Your name is Sunoo. Blond is a bright color. It makes sense to me. Does it make sense to you? Am I making sense?”

“Unfortunately,” Riki said.

“It does make sense,” Sunoo said, ignoring Riki. “Thank you, hyung. You’re so sweet.”

“Well, you make it easy,” Jake said. “It’s easy to be sweet around you. Toward you. You make me want to be… sweet. Nice.”

An entire kaleidoscope of butterflies had made their home in his stomach now. Jake’s words were so sweet in fact, that he felt like his teeth were going to start aching, but he didn’t mind. No one had ever spoken to him like this before. He had never felt so openly appreciated.

“I’m going to the restroom,” Riki said, standing up. His chair scraped against the floor as he pushed it back, the loud noise waking Sunoo up from whatever spell Jake had put him under. “Hopefully, when I come back, you two are acting normal again.”

He left the table, grabbing the restroom key that Sunoo kept on a hook behind the counter. Riki always made himself right at home at the bakery. If he went back to the kitchen one day and started helping Sunoo bake cookies, Sunoo didn’t think he would even be surprised.

“Should we take a look?” Jake asked.

Sunoo looked away from the now closed restroom door, bringing his attention back to Jake. His hand was resting on top of Riki’s sketchbook, his fingers tapping against the front cover. Sunoo had never considered peeking at Riki’s drawings. He was endlessly curious about what he was always working on, but it felt like an invasion of his privacy. Sunoo shook his head.

“We shouldn’t,” Sunoo said. “If he wants to show us one day, then I’m sure he’ll share it with us.”

“That’s what I thought you would say,” Jake said, leaning back against his seat. “I think I have an idea of what he draws all the time though.”

“What do you think it is?” Sunoo asked.

“You,” he said.

It wasn’t the most shocking answer. In fact, even Sunoo thought that it was a realistic idea. He had never gotten much affection from Riki, but he did come to the bakery nearly every day to draw. And every day, he refused to show Sunoo what he was sketching so diligently.

“Maybe,” Sunoo said. “It doesn’t seem impossible, but I’ve never wanted to assume.”

“Well, I have no problem with assuming,” Jake said. “I think he has a crush on you.”

“I wouldn’t take it that far,” Sunoo said. “He’s an alpha and I’m… I’m…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. Lying and saying that he was a beta was too hard. It felt like he was hurting himself every time he insisted that he was something that he wasn’t. He couldn’t say that he was an omega either. Coming out to Jake so casually didn’t feel right. “I just don’t think that’s the case.”

Jake wasn’t able to respond, because the restroom door and the front door of the bakery opened at the same time. Sunoo saw Riki exiting the restroom first, wiping his hands on his pants. His long hair was hiding his face as he looked down. Sunoo brought his gaze to the bakery’s entrance instead, ready to greet a new customer.

His usual welcoming smile died before he even had a chance to fully show it off. Lee Heeseung was standing in the entryway.

“Welcome,” Sunoo said in a tone that sounded anything but welcoming.

“Hi, Sunoo,” Heeseung said.

The two of them stared at each other, neither one taking the initiative to say anything more. Riki was the one to break the silence. He did it by dragging his chair across the floor again, a loud scraping sound filling the room as he sat back down.

“Do you want to order something?” Sunoo asked.

“No,” Heeseung said. “Actually, I’m here to speak to you.”

“All right,” Sunoo said. “Go ahead.”

“I was hoping we could speak in private.”

“I’m working,” Sunoo said, he gestured toward Jake and Riki. “I have customers.”

“You can talk to him,” Jake said. “We’ll be fine on our own. And if anyone else comes in, we can come get you.”

Sunoo liked how considerate Jake was, but now he found that he was hating that trait of his. Heeseung looked grateful for Jake’s help and Sunoo had to remind himself that they were friends. The two of them had stayed long distance friends for a decade. Sunoo had to control himself. He wanted to slap Lee Heeseung across the face, but he couldn’t. At least not in front of Jake.

“Fine,” Sunoo said. “Follow me.”

He didn’t give Heeseung even a single second to respond. Sunoo headed to the back of the bakery, where all of the actual baking took place. He held the door open for Heeseung and then let it swing shut as soon as he was inside the kitchen. Sunoo went to the large refrigerator, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest. He tried his best to look intimidating, but he had a feeling that nothing about him could intimidate Heeseung. Very few things could scare an alpha who already had everything.

“Can you talk to Jungwon?” Heeseung said. Sunoo appreciated that he was getting straight to business. “He hasn’t been the same ever since you two talked at my party. He really misses you.”

“I miss him too,” Sunoo said. “But he should be the one talking to me about this, not you.”

“I know,” Heeseung said. “I’ve told him that, but I think he’s nervous, or scared, or… He told me that he doesn’t want to lose you.”

Those words were what made his cold façade crack slightly. His bottom lip fell and his arms that he had tightly crossed over his chest loosened just a bit.

“Do you know why we’re not speaking to each other?” Sunoo asked, trying his best to regain his footing. He couldn’t fall apart from just a single sentence. Sunoo knew that he was stronger than that. “Has he told you?”

“Yeah,” Heeseung said. “It’s because of me. That’s why I’m here. I want to convince you that you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“I think you’re overestimating yourself if you think one conversation with you is going to convince me of anything,” Sunoo said. “You’re an adult. You should know better than to get involved with a high schooler. I’m not going to change my opinion on that.”

Heeseung sighed, running a hand as best as he could through his short hair. Sunoo hoped that he was planning on growing it out now that he was out of the military. He didn’t think that the short cut suited him that well.

“I get it,” Heeseung said. “I would think the same thing as you, if I were an outsider. I understand–”

“I don’t think you understand anything,” Sunoo said. “I’m not an outsider. I know Jungwon better than you do. He’s my best friend. He’s like family to me.”

“I know,” Heeseung said. “I know that. I know how close you two are. I…” Heeseung inhaled deeply, like he was trying his best to center himself as well. “I didn’t plan any of this, if that makes you feel better. It’s not like I’m some creep that targeted him when he was a little kid. I’ve barely paid any attention to him. I’ve always known that Jungwon was an omega, but I didn’t even view him as an actual omega until last year. This happened all at once for me. I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with him.”

“You couldn’t stop yourself from fingering him as soon as you got the chance either, could you?” Sunoo said.

The shocked look on Heeseung’s face was satisfying for only a few seconds. He couldn’t enjoy it for much longer. Sunoo couldn’t have this conversation with him. It didn’t matter what Heeseung said, nothing was going to change Sunoo’s mind about him.

“Sunoo-hyung.” There was a knock on the kitchen door. Sunoo felt himself instantly relax. He went to open it and saw Riki on the other side. “There are customers out here.”

“I’ll be right there,” Sunoo said, giving him a smile.

He looked back at Heeseung who looked just as hopeless as he did when he had first entered the bakery. It seemed that whatever he had planned out hadn’t gone accordingly at all. Sunoo couldn’t find it within himself to care.

“If you’re not going to buy anything,” Sunoo said, “then I think you should leave.”

The small victory of seeing Heeseung leave the bakery with his head hung and his shoulders slumped would give him enough energy to work through the rest of his shift. That was all it would provide him with though. He didn’t think he would be able to fully be at ease until he was able to have Jungwon back in his life, ideally without Lee Heeseung.

-: ✧ :-

“You stayed late today,” Sunoo said as he locked the door to the bakery’s kitchen. He had already finished cleaning up the front room, so all that was left to do was turn off the lights and lock the front door. “I’m sure your grandma didn’t bother cooking dinner for you tonight.”

“She definitely didn’t,” Jake said. “She doesn’t like to wait.”

Sunoo had wiped down the tables and put the chairs up, so Jake was leaning against the counter since he had nowhere to sit. He followed Sunoo to the front door, watching as Sunoo flipped the light switch.

“You should have said something,” Sunoo said when they walked outside. “I could have made you dinner.”

“I didn’t want to bother you with that,” Jake said. “Mostly because I get the feeling that I’m going to bother you with something else very soon.”

“That’s a weird thing to say,” Sunoo said. He locked the front door to the bakery and then twisted the handle, just to make sure he had locked it correctly. Old doors like this one could be tricky. “What are you going to bother me with?”

“I was wondering if you would want to go on a walk with me,” Jake said. “I know you’ve been standing all day, so I’m sure your feet are tired.”

“They’re not that tired,” Sunoo said. “A walk sounds nice. It’s not too hot today.”

Jake grinned and Sunoo thought that he looked so handsome when he smiled. He then realized that that must mean that he always thought that Jake was handsome, since he was almost always smiling. Sunoo couldn’t help but to wonder why Jake liked spending so much time with him. Their town wasn’t the most exciting, but there were plenty of things more interesting to do than sitting in a bakery all day.

They weren’t far from the beach and walking on the sand was definitely more appealing than walking on the old concrete sidewalks that were uneven and riddled with cracks. The walk to the beach was a short one as well. Neither of them spoke and Sunoo was enjoying the silence. To him, silence that was this comfortable was a sign that a relationship had reached a whole new level.

Sunoo was wearing sneakers today, so he took them off right before they reached the sand. He took his socks off too and then tucked them into his shoes. Sunoo didn’t bother carrying them with him, content to leave his shoes where they were. He could return for them once their walk was over. They had to come back in this direction anyway. His bike was still at the bakery.

“You’re taking a risk,” Jake said, taking his shoes off as well. “What if someone steals them?”

“No one is going to steal my shoes,” Sunoo said. “They’re old and I don’t have any enemies. Everyone knows better than to play a prank on me.”

“Is that because you’re so nice,” Jake said, “or because people know that you’re capable of getting revenge?”

He pretended to think over Jake’s question, tapping his chin as he did. Sunoo didn’t need to look at Jake to know that he was grinning, amused by Sunoo’s antics.

“Both,” Sunoo said.

“I thought so,” Jake said.

They continued their walk on the beach, passing by families and couples out for an evening stroll. Sunoo greeted everyone he recognized, bowing and waving when necessary, giving lighthearted hellos and goodbyes. Jake stayed silent next to him. Sunoo could tell that he was getting closer to him as they walked farther down the beach. The distance between them had disappeared and their arms were brushing against each other as they walked.

“I didn’t want to come back this summer,” Jake said. “I actually swore that I would never come here again.”

“Why?” Sunoo asked.

He wasn’t at all thrown off by Jake suddenly speaking, breaking the silence between them. Sunoo had assumed that he had proposed this walk just so he could tell Sunoo something that he had already planned out. He figured that Jake had been so quiet since he had been silently working up the nerve to start talking.

“I last came back here two years ago, to celebrate New Year’s with my grandparents,” Jake said. “I don’t think I saw you then. We didn’t stay long and Heeseung was the only friend I spent time with.” Jake looked out at the ocean while they walked and Sunoo wished that he would turn his head to look at him instead. “It was a nice trip. I didn’t have much of a relationship with my grandparents, since we moved to Australia when I was so young. My dad missed them though and my grandpa was starting to get pretty sick.

“I can’t remember exactly how it happened,” Jake said, “but somehow my grandparents found out that, at the time…” Sunoo could see his jaw start to clench. “I had a boyfriend. He was a beta, too. I think my brother let it slip. He’s never admitted it though. It doesn’t matter how it happened, I guess. They found out and my parents tried to say that it was a misunderstanding, but I hate lying, so I… I just let them know. My grandma didn’t say anything. She still doesn’t mention it. My grandpa was so mad though. I barely knew him and he was yelling these horrible things at me. He died earlier this year and I didn’t even go to the funeral. I hadn’t spoken to him since that day.”

Sunoo reached forward, unsure of what to do. His heart ached for Jake, but he didn’t know how best to comfort him. Sunoo settled on taking Jake’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together and hoping that the contact was all right.

“I’m sorry,” Sunoo said. “That’s awful. I hate that he said those things to you.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jake said. “I’m over it now and I wanted to tell you, because… because I’m so glad I decided to come back. I got to see the first boy I ever had a crush on. And I’ve gotten to see him every single day and my crush has become so much worse than it was before.” He paused. “That wasn’t the right word. Better. My crush has gotten better. Stronger. Not worse. Nothing about it is bad.”

“Wow, hyung,” Sunoo said, cutting him off before he could ramble for any longer. “I had no idea you felt that way about Heeseung.”

His heart was pounding in his chest and Sunoo was feeling so hopeful. He was so light, that he felt like he could soar into the sky.

“I’m not talking about Heeseung,” Jake said and Sunoo was relieved to see that his smile had returned. “I’m talking about you. I like you so much. Ever since I came back here, I can’t stop thinking about you. And I hope that I haven’t been reading all of these signals wrong, because if I have, then I definitely give you permission to push me into the ocean, but I think that–”

“Do you like me because I’m a beta?” Sunoo asked before he could stop himself.

The last thing he wanted was to ruin the mood, but he knew that before this could go any further, he had to tell Jake the truth. The fluttering in his stomach was turning heavy now, as he thought about what Jake’s potential response could be.

“What?” Jake said. “No. I like you because you’re you. You’re Sunoo.”

“But you mentioned that you had a boyfriend who was a beta,” Sunoo said. “You’re attracted to male betas?”

“Yeah,” Jake said. He seemed confused. Sunoo couldn’t blame him. “I told you that so that you would know that I’m not straight. I was also hoping that you like male betas too, because, well, that’s what I am.”

“I do like them,” Sunoo said, squeezing Jake’s hand in his, using the touch to ground himself. “But I’m not a beta.”

Jake looked even more confused. Sunoo was not doing a very good job at making this easy for him. That was all right though. He could explain it better. Right now, his priority was making this easy for himself.

“I haven’t told that many people,” Sunoo continued, “but I’m trans. I’m an omega. So, if you only liked me because you thought that I was a beta, then–”

“I like omegas too,” Jake said. “I like anyone, actually. I’m not picky. Alphas, betas, omegas are all fine with me. I just like people and I like you and–”

Sunoo had never enjoyed interrupting someone so much in his life. He moved forward, pressing his lips against Jake’s. It wasn’t that refined, but that didn’t matter to Sunoo. Jake’s mouth had been partially open since he had been speaking. Sunoo knew that they were lucky that their teeth didn’t come into contact.

They were both still for a single second, perhaps even the longest second of Sunoo’s life, before Jake threaded a hand through Sunoo’s hair and tilted his head to the side. Jake’s other hand went to the small of his back, pulling him forward as they kissed. Sunoo had never done this before, so he trusted Jake to lead him. His hands clutched Jake’s t-shirt and he pressed even closer to him. He wanted all of the space between them to disappear. Sunoo wanted to be as close as possible to him.

Their lips were separated for a moment and Sunoo thought that Jake was going to say something, but he chose to kiss him again. Sunoo opened his eyes slightly while they kissed, so that he could see Jake’s face. His hair was covering his forehead and his eyes were shut and Sunoo could see the beginning of a warm flush on his cheeks. He couldn’t examine him any further though, because his own lips were being coaxed open and Jake’s tongue was pressing against his and suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

Sunoo took a step back, his hands still fisted in Jake’s t-shirt as he did. His heart was beating so loudly that he could hear it pounding in his ears.

“Sorry,” Jake said. He was breathing heavily as well. That made Sunoo feel better. He knew that Jake most likely had a lot more experience than he did. “Was that too much? Was that okay?”

“It was perfect,” Sunoo said. Maybe he should have cringed over how corny that line was, but he couldn’t find the will to do so. He was telling the truth. Everything about that kiss had been perfect. “And, you’re the first person I ever had a crush on, too.”

“Really?” Jake said, grinning. “I didn’t ruin my chances when I broke your lunchbox?”

“No,” Sunoo said. “You didn’t ruin anything.”

“So, you still like me?” Jake asked.

“Yes,” Sunoo said and he couldn’t help but to giggle as he said it. “I like you very much.”

Jake kissed him again and this time he was more prepared for it. Even though he had been the one to kiss Jake first, he still hadn’t been entirely ready. His body had moved on its own, acting on its sole mission to kiss Sim Jaeyun as quickly as possible.

This time was different. Sunoo leaned into him more. He wound his arms around Jake’s neck instead of clinging to the flimsy fabric of his t-shirt. When Jake’s hands travelled down to his waist and then to his hips, he didn’t startle. And when Jake’s tongue went back to the seam of his lips before pushing into his mouth, he didn’t move away.

-: ✧ :-

Sunoo once again found himself staring down at a package that he had ordered online. It wasn’t a new order that had recently arrived. It was the last unopened package from his previous shopping spree. The other two bags were on his bed as well and he stared at them all with a pair of scissors in his hand.

He didn’t let himself think for a single second longer. Sunoo grabbed the package and cut into the plastic bag, opening it up and then dumping the contents on to the bed. Unlike the other packages, that contained multiple articles of clothing, this bag just had one single piece. It was exactly what he had been looking for though.

Jake had asked him out on a date, officially. They weren’t going for a walk on the beach. The plan wasn’t to meet at the bakery and make out in the back room. It was going to be a real date. Jake had gotten permission from his grandmother to drive the family’s car and he was going to take Sunoo out of town to the closest city so that they could have dinner together. Sunoo knew that a dinner wasn’t that exciting to most people, but to him it was something he had only dreamed about.

He was looking forward to spending the evening with Jake, but he was also excited about what he was going to wear. They were going to a different city that would be full of strangers. If Sunoo dressed like an omega, no one would question it. They would have no idea that this would be his first time wearing a dress.

Inside of the bag was the first dress that he had ever bought. It was a soft blush pink and went down to his knees. At least, it did on the model on the website; he hadn’t actually tried it on yet. The capped sleeves were puffed and it had an open neckline and it cinched at the waist. He spread it out on his bed, running his hands over the smooth material of the dress. All he had to do was walk out of his front door, past their gate, and onto the street where Jake’s car would be waiting for him. It was a short walk, one that he had made countless times before, but never had it ever felt so daunting.

He changed into the dress before he could stop himself. Once it was on, he didn’t dare to look at his reflection in the mirror. The dress fit. It wasn’t too tight and getting it on had been easy. He was even flexible enough to reach behind him and pull up the zipper in the back. The boxer briefs he was wearing under it didn’t feel right though. He had no plans of taking this dress off until he was safe and at home, so no one was going to see what he had on underneath, but it still felt wrong.

Sunoo grabbed the first package he had opened, reaching his hand inside and taking out a pair of panties. He hadn’t tried any of them on yet. Sunoo had a feeling that they wouldn’t fit, despite ordering a larger size than the online measurements suggested. Cis omegas all had vaginas and he definitely did not have one, even though he had plans to one day have bottom surgery. That was still far in the future though, so for now, he had to deal with what he had.

He pulled on the pair of panties, the satin material feeling so smooth against his legs. They were a little tight, but he didn’t mind it. Sunoo kicked his discarded briefs to the side. He knew he would still wear that type of underwear, mostly since they were more comfortable, but for a special occasion like this, he felt like it required a change.

Sunoo grabbed his cherry blossom necklace as well as the earrings he had “borrowed” for the beach party, but had never given back. After completing his outfit, he finally turned to look at himself in his mirror.

The person staring back at him was totally recognizable. He didn’t know why he expected anything different. All he had done was put a dress on. It felt like a significant change though. He liked what he saw too. Sunoo couldn’t remember ever liking his own reflection so much before.

His new, and only, dress had pockets, so he was able to put his phone, keys, and wallet in them. He hadn’t bought any shoes to go with the outfit, but his sandals matched it well enough. That could be his next purchase, he supposed. And then he quickly berated himself, because there were a lot more important things for him to spend his money on.

Sunoo left his bedroom with the plan to wait on the living room couch until Jake arrived. If he waited for him in his room, then he might be tempted to change his clothes.

As soon as he closed the door to his bedroom, the front door of the house opened. He stopped, feeling frozen on the spot as he watched his mother walk in. She took her shoes off at the door and then looked up. Their eyes met and they both stopped, staring at each other.

Eventually, her gaze lowered and she looked at what he was wearing. Panic flared inside of him, but it was quickly extinguished. She was smiling.

“You look nice,” she said. “Do you have plans for the night?”

“Yes,” Sunoo said. He placed a hand on the wall, keeping it there in case he needed to steady himself. “You know how I’ve been spending a lot of time with Sim Jaeyun lately?” She nodded. “Well, he asked me out on a date. We’re going to dinner in the city. He’s going to pick me up soon.”

“Oh,” his mother said. Her eyes looked like they were sparkling. “He’s handsome, isn’t he?”

“A little bit,” Sunoo said. “Well, actually, a lot. He is really good-looking.”

“Very good-looking,” she agreed. “What time are you leaving?”

“He said he would pick me up at 7:30,” Sunoo said. He got his phone out of his pocket and checked the time. “So, in about 15 minutes. I was going to sit on the couch while I waited.”

She looked at her own watch. Sunoo didn’t know why since he had just told her the time, but maybe she just did it out of habit. She walked toward him and took both of his hands in hers. His mother was considerably shorter than him, so he had to tilt his head down to be able to look at her.

“Can I do your makeup for you?” she asked. “I don’t think I can do anything trendy. I’m sure people your age do makeup differently than I do, but I’d still like to try, if that’s all right.”

“I would really like that,” Sunoo said.

He tried not to become too emotional as he followed her to her bedroom. She had always accepted him, but this felt different. Sunoo sat down on the stool that she had in front of her vanity table. He had always wanted one in his room as well, but he needed space for a desk instead.

His mother opened up her makeup bag, looking through the different products. She didn’t wear much makeup herself, so they had limited options. Sunoo didn’t care though. She could put blush on his cheeks and then call it quits and that would be more than enough for him.

“The last time I did someone else’s makeup,” she said as she knelt in front of him, “was when I was in high school myself. It’s been twenty years since then, so I’m a little out of practice.”

“That’s okay,” Sunoo said. “Whose makeup did you used to do?”

“My best friend’s,” she said. “We weren’t allowed to wear makeup in school. Once classes were over, we would go to each other’s houses and do our makeup together. We didn’t go out anywhere, we just did it because it was fun.”

She started to apply powder to his cheeks and he closed his eyes, even though he hadn’t been instructed to. There were so many things he didn’t know about her. He had no idea who the best friend she was talking about was. His mother had gotten pregnant with him right after she graduated high school, so he imagined she had to have left so many old relationships in the past. Sunoo hoped that she would tell him more about her life later. He wanted to know everything about her.

“You shouldn’t keep so much in your pockets,” she said. “Most pockets for dresses like that are so flimsy. I would only keep lip balm in there. Or something else that’s really light.”

“Where am I supposed to keep my phone then?” Sunoo asked. “It’s too hot to bring a jacket.”

“You can borrow one of my purses,” his mother said. She touched his earrings. “You’re already borrowing these.”

“Sorry,” he said. “I should have asked.”

“It’s all right,” she said. “Just be sure to ask next time.”

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he knew that it was most likely from Jake, telling him that he was there. He didn’t have to say anything to his mother since she had heard it as well.

“He can wait outside for a few more minutes,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with building a bit of anticipation.”

Despite saying this, she still worked quickly to finish. Once she was done with his makeup, she went to her closet and asked him what color his shoes were. Sunoo told her he was going to wear his white sandals, so she retrieved a small white cross body bag from her collection. He put his phone, wallet, and keys in it. Before he could clasp it shut, she dropped a tinted lip balm into it as well.

“Let’s see what the damage is,” he said, turning to look at her mirror.

“Don’t joke around,” she said. “I tried my best. If you don’t like it, you can wash your face.”

Washing his face wouldn’t be necessary. The makeup she had done was incredibly subtle. His cheeks were a bit rosier and his eyelashes were darker and his lips were shiny. It was simple and he doubted that Jake would be able to tell he was wearing makeup, but Sunoo knew that it was there. And that was all that really mattered.

“I love it,” he said. “Thank you, Eomma.”

He put his arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug. She patted his back and Sunoo swore that he could hear a sniffle from her. He couldn’t blame her since he also felt himself getting a little emotional.

“Have fun tonight,” she said. “You’re an adult now, so I can’t give you a curfew. Just be sure to use protection.”

“Eomma!” Sunoo whined.

“I’m being serious,” his mother said. She held on to him even tighter. “I know you can’t get pregnant, but you don’t know where that boy has been and who he’s been there with.”

“Eomma, it’s not going to even come to that,” Sunoo said. “We’re just getting dinner.”

That didn’t seem to reassure her at all. If anything, it seemed to make her even more nervous. They walked to the front door together. It was a short walk, but it was still long enough for him to ensure her that he had no plans to have sex tonight. He wasn’t able to convince her, but she did seem slightly more at ease.

Sunoo’s white sandals were by the front door, so he slipped them on before taking one last deep breath. He just had to walk from their door to Jake’s car. It was silly that the one thing he was most worried about was walking for less than a minute, in the same path that he walked every day.

He put his hand on the doorknob and then twisted it, opening the door only to come face-to-face with Jake. They were both surprised, neither one of them expecting the other to be there.

“You were going to wait in your car,” Sunoo said because it was the first thing that came to his mind.

“I texted you and you didn’t answer,” Jake said. “So, I just thought that I would come to you.” His eyes fell downward and his mouth fell open slightly. “Wow. You look great.”

“Thank you,” Sunoo said, feeling himself blush. Jake looked nice too. He was wearing a white button up shirt that was tucked into a pair of navy blue trousers. Sunoo imagined he would be complaining about his choice before the end of the night. “You kind of look like a waiter.”

His comment forced a surprised laugh out of Jake, so Sunoo assumed that he hadn’t taken it too far with his joke.

“I was thinking the same thing when I left the house,” Jake said. “Do you think I should change?”

“No,” Sunoo said, shaking his head. “I was just kidding. You look perfect.”

“If you two have reservations, I would recommend leaving now,” Sunoo’s mother said. He had almost forgotten that she was still standing behind him. Jake also looked surprised by her presence, but he was quick to bow and introduce himself to her. She waved him off, clearly not interested in any formalities, at least not now. “Have fun, you two. I expect him back home at a reasonable time.”

“Yes, of course,” Jake said.

“Don’t listen to her,” Sunoo said, exiting the house and taking Jake’s hand in his. “She just told me that I don’t have a curfew.” He all but dragged Jake down the front path and to the street where he was parked. “Don’t wait up for me, Eomma!”

She didn’t respond with words, but he could hear her laughter before she shut the front door.

Jake had left the car unlocked, so Sunoo was able to slide into the front seat without waiting for him to unlock the door. He put his seatbelt on and then settled in, his nerves slowly starting to fade away. Jake got into the driver’s seat and then grinned at him when he shut his own car door.

“This restaurant has really great reviews,” Jake said. “And it’s not too expensive. It’s fancy, but it’s not the fanciest place in the world. The menu is online and the prices looked okay. I can pay for you, if you want me to. It’s not a problem. We haven’t talked about that though, have we? Would you be insulted if I paid? Do you want to split it in half?”

“We can decide that once we get there,” Sunoo said. He leaned over the center console and kissed him. Jake’s slightly panicked expression instantly relaxed. “I’ve been really looking forward to tonight.”

“Yeah,” Jake said softly. “Me too.”

Once he turned the key to start the car and put it in drive, he reached for Sunoo’s hand, holding on to it as he peeled away from the curb. Sunoo placed his other hand on top, sandwiching Jake’s hand between his own so that he couldn’t escape. His hands were warm and tanned with a few callouses. He thought about what it would be like to feel them on his bare skin, like his thighs or even his hips. And then he quickly banished those thoughts from his mind. They were not going to do anything like that.

It took almost an hour for Jake to drive to the nearest city, but Sunoo didn’t mind. They had to make a late reservation because Sunoo couldn’t close the bakery early. It was Sunday and since he didn’t have to work tomorrow, it was the perfect day for staying out late. He wouldn’t have to wake up early in the morning. Jake could have him back home as late as he wanted. And that thought alone made nothing but more inappropriate thoughts come flooding into his mind.

He was grateful when Jake started talking about a group of middle schoolers who had showed up at the grocery store that day. Sunoo listened along, making comments when he needed to so that he could show that he was actively listening. He loved hearing Jake talk. His accent was so soft and sometimes he forgot a word or said a sentence in a strange way that made his entire face scrunch up. It was adorable and Sunoo liked helping him find the word that he was looking for.

“Can I ask you something kind of personal?” Jake asked as he drove.

“You can ask it, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll answer it,” Sunoo said.

“That’s fair,” Jake said. “Well, I was just thinking about this yesterday and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, so I knew I had to ask. Have you gone on a date before?”

That was the least daunting personal question that Sunoo had ever been asked. He even smiled because he thought it was almost sweet, how Jake had stressed himself out over it.

“No,” Sunoo said. “This is my first date.” He squeezed Jake’s hand in his lap. “You were my first kiss too, in case you were wondering about that.”

He hoped that Jake didn’t think that was weird. Sunoo knew that most people put a lot of pressure on their “firsts.”

“Oh,” Jake said. He was smiling, but then he wasn’t smiling, most likely trying to suppress it. And then his grin came through again, when he had given up on trying to keep it hidden. “That’s, uh, cool.”

“You’re really pleased, aren’t you?” Sunoo asked.

“Kind of,” Jake said. “Just a little bit.”

Sunoo leaned back into his seat, turning his head to the side on the headrest so he could watch as Jake drove. Everything about Jake was so cute, and seeing how happy he was at hearing that he was Sunoo’s first kiss somehow made him even cuter.

Jake continued to talk about the different customers while Sunoo listened to him. He knew who most of the people in Jake’s stories were, even if Jake didn’t mention or know their names. Sunoo knew everyone in their town and a lot of them came to the bakery as well. He could easily put a face and a name to the individuals described in Jake’s retellings.

They arrived at the restaurant and all of the ease that Sunoo felt in the car started to leave him. He became anxious again. This was a city that he hadn’t been to often. It was a restaurant that he had never been to before and he doubted he would know anyone in there, but he was still nervous.

Jake got out of the car first and made his way around to Sunoo’s door, opening it for him. He was such a gentleman. Sunoo wondered if his mother had taught him to do that, or if it was something that he had picked up on his own. He unfastened his seatbelt and then took the hand that Jake was offering to him.

The restaurant was a tiny Italian place located on a street corner. It had a small parking lot and since it was so late, most of the spaces were open. Jake had managed to park right next to the door, so the walk inside consisted of just a few steps.

“This place is nice,” Sunoo said once they entered. The lighting was dim and each table was covered in a pristine white tablecloth and a single, flickering candle. “How did you find out about it?”

“I went on Naver and searched for the best restaurants in this city,” Jake said. “It was on a Top 10 list.”

“You’re so practical,” Sunoo said.

Jake checked in with the hostess and then they were led to their table. It was right in the center of the dining area. Usually, Sunoo didn’t mind the extra attention, but now he felt self-conscious. It was a small restaurant and there weren’t many tables. They were also the last reservation for the night, he assumed, since it was late in the evening. There weren’t as many people around to hide him from view.

“You look so beautiful,” Jake said once the hostess had left them with menus and full water glasses. “I don’t think I said that earlier. And if I did, then it’s definitely worth repeating.”

Sunoo kept his eyes on his menu. He didn’t think he could look directly at Jake. His cheeks were burning at the compliment and Jake sounded incredibly earnest.

“Thank you,” Sunoo said. “You look beautiful tonight, too.”

He had meant it as a silly compliment, but Jake’s warm chuckle let him know that he took it to heart. Jake reached across the table and took Sunoo’s hand. He brought it up to his lips, kissing his knuckles. It was a move that he had seen Jongseong do to Sunghoon countless times before. He always thought that it was a bit cheesy, a bit too much, but now he couldn’t help but love how affectionate it was. Jake wasn’t shy at all and Sunoo really liked that.

Since there weren’t many other tables to serve, their food came soon after it was ordered. Sunoo ordered a glass of wine with his dinner as well, but Jake stuck with water since he was driving. It should have just been a simple rejection. Jake apparently felt the need to defend his completely reasonable choice to not drink, because he “had to keep Sunoo safe.”

“Do you go to restaurants like this in Australia?” Sunoo asked as they ate. He had ordered a pasta dish that was much smaller than he thought it would be, judging by how much it cost. “All of the restaurants we have in town only make Korean food, aside from the bakery and one Chinese place.”

“Yeah, I do,” Jake said. “Pretty often, actually. There’s a lot of variety in Brisbane. I usually only eat Korean food when I’m at home and my parents cook for me.”

“That must be fun,” Sunoo said. “I’d like to live in a big city. I want to move to Seoul when I go to university, but that’s just a dream at this point. I’ll be lucky to go to school in a city like this.”

“You should visit me in the fall,” Jake said. “I can show you around and introduce you to all of my friends. I’m sure they’ll love you.”

Sunoo paused. He had been spinning his fork on his plate, collecting as much pasta as he could for one bite. They had finally arrived at the one conversation he didn’t want to have with Jake. Once the summer was over, Jake would be going back to Australia. He would be continuing school and Sunoo would be stuck at the bakery.

“I don’t speak English,” Sunoo said. “I wouldn’t want you to translate for me all the time.”

“That wouldn’t bother me,” Jake said. “My friends are really cool. They’re all patient. They would understand.”

“I’m sure they’re very nice,” Sunoo said. “Plane tickets are expensive. Hotel rooms, too. I don’t think I could afford it.”

“I can help you pay for the plane ticket,” Jake said. “I’m not living in the dorm this year either. I’m getting an apartment with a couple of my friends. You could stay with us.”

He dropped his fork, the clanging sound it made once it hit the plate gained him the attention of the few other diners in the restaurant. Jake stopped eating as well.

“Hyung,” Sunoo said. “What kind of future do you see for us exactly? How do you think this is going to continue, once the summer is over and you go back to an entirely different continent?”

“People do long-distance relationships all the time,” Jake said.

“And is that what you want?” Sunoo asked. “I didn’t even know that we were in a relationship. I thought we were just two people who liked each other. You haven’t officially asked me to be anything and I haven’t asked the same from you either.” He reached for his wine glass and took a sip, his hand starting to shake as he put it back down. “My priorities are so different from yours. I lied to your grandmother when I said I was working to save up money for an apartment. I’m actually working to save up money so that I can transition. I need it to happen as quickly as possible. I’m not in school, so the military could send me a draft letter at any moment. I need to start hormone replacement therapy and I need to see a psychologist to get an official statement. I can’t do that in the town where we live. I need to go to a bigger city like this one. I don’t have a car or even a driver’s license, so I’ll have to take a bus and that costs money. Seeing doctors costs money, the drugs I need cost money. I can’t – I can’t go to the military, hyung. I’m terrified of it.”

There was a basket full of breadsticks in the middle of their table. Sunoo reached for it, tearing off a large piece of bread before stuffing it into his mouth. He chewed, finally making eye contact with Jake as he did.

Sunoo hadn’t expected Jake to look so shocked by his little speech. He had done it entirely in a sort of whisper-shout. Sunoo didn’t think anyone else had heard what he had said, but he imagined he had looked dramatic while he spoke.

“I’m sorry,” Jake said once Sunoo went back for the other half of the breadstick. “I wasn’t thinking about any of that. I didn’t even really realize… I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just really excited about the idea of you coming to see me, but I guess that’s not really possible, huh?”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Sunoo said. “I would like to visit you, too. I just don’t think I could make it work.”

They continued to eat in silence and once their waiter came back to the table, asking if they wanted any dessert, Sunoo had nodded. He pointed to the tiramisu on the tiny dessert menu and then watched as their waiter took their dinner plates away.

Jake reached across the table and took Sunoo’s hand in his once more.

“Is there anything that I can do to help?” he asked.

Sunoo smiled at him. He was sweet to ask that, but they both knew the answer to that question already.

“No, not really,” Sunoo said. “You can just support me.”

“Okay,” Jake said, nodding his head. “I can do that.”

They didn’t talk about any future plans for the rest of dinner. It was Sunoo’s turn to talk about strange customers he had encountered at the bakery. They talked about them while sharing the tiramisu. Jake ended up paying for the meal. He tricked Sunoo by saying he had to go to the restroom. Sunoo had checked his phone for any missed messages while he was gone and when he next looked up, Jake was talking to their server with his wallet in his hands.

When Jake came back to their table, Sunoo was glaring at him, but he didn’t seem too bothered. Jake just laughed at him and Sunoo guessed it was because his glare looked cute, not intimidating.

They left the restaurant and Jake opened the passenger door for him so that he could get in. Sunoo settled into his seat, placing his hands over his stomach. He was pleasantly full. Sunoo definitely didn’t think he could eat any more, but he wasn’t so full that he felt sick. Jake got into the car as well and Sunoo expected for him to start driving since it would take nearly an hour to get back to the village.

Instead of driving, Jake reached toward the glove compartment. He unlatched it and let it fall open in front of Sunoo. Like most glove boxes, it contained lots of paperwork, but on top of that was a small box wrapped in a white ribbon. Jake took the box and handed it to Sunoo.

He stared at it, holding the box in his lap.

“I didn’t get you a present,” Sunoo finally said.

Jake smiled. “That’s okay. Gifts on first dates aren’t really traditional, unless they’re flowers. I wanted to get you something else though.”

Sunoo could recognize a jewelry box when he saw one. He untied the ribbon and then found the latch on the box, opening it. The bracelet he found inside wasn’t surprising, but what took his breath away was the tiny charm attached to it. He held it up to his face so that he could see the Vulpix charm more clearly.

“I know it’s not as cool as a lunchbox,” Jake said, “and it’s taken me over ten years to repay you, but I hope that it’s okay.”

“Can you put it on me?” Sunoo asked.

He offered his wrist to Jake and then the bracelet as well. Jake wasn’t the best at closing the small clasp, but after a few tries, he managed to secure it in place. Sunoo leaned over and kissed him once he had finished.

Jake didn’t hesitate before he reciprocated. He kissed him back and Sunoo could taste the espresso and chocolate on his tongue from their dessert. One of Jake’s hands reached forward, resting on Sunoo’s bare thigh. His dress had ridden up slightly once he sat down, so more of his skin was on display. Jake’s hand crept up his leg, his fingers coming into contact with the hem of his dress.

“Thank you, hyung,” Sunoo said. “I really love it, even if it’s not a lunchbox.”

“Good,” Jake said. “I’m glad.” His hand remained on Sunoo’s thigh, his fingers stroking over his skin. Sunoo felt like his heart was going to burst through his chest. “Do you want to find a place to park? Somewhere more private?”

He didn’t have to elaborate. Sunoo knew exactly what he was asking. On any other night, Sunoo would have turned him down. He would have sweetly kissed him and then asked for him to drive back home. Tonight felt different though. The wine from earlier had his stomach feeling warm and the gift was making him feel even warmer. His mini-breakdown in the restaurant was also making him realize that he didn’t have much time left with Jake. Sunoo wanted to experience everything that he could with him, and Jake had never given him any reason to be afraid.

“Okay,” Sunoo said. “I’d like that.”

Jake didn’t know of any spots though, so he got his phone out, searching for parks and secluded parking lots while Sunoo watched. It broke the tension a bit, watching as Jake desperately searched for a place where they could have some privacy. Maybe it would have been awkward to other people, but it made Sunoo relax. Sunoo liked how genuine Jake was. He never pretended like he was a cool, suave guy who had everything figured out. It made Sunoo feel more comfortable around him.

Eventually, he found a spot on his phone that seemed to work for him. Jake started to drive and Sunoo leaned back into his seat once more. He looked out the window as he watched how the city lights slowly turned into the countryside. The only lights guiding their way were the headlights of the car, the occasional lamppost, and the stars and moon up above them.

“Are you planning on murdering me here and dumping the body?” Sunoo asked once Jake turned his car onto a rocky gravel road. “My mother knows that you’re the last person I was seen with. She won’t let you get away with this.”

“I’m not going to kill you,” Jake said. “Even though I do realize that saying that makes it seem like I am going to kill you. So, hopefully you can trust that I won’t.”

“You’re not very convincing,” Sunoo said. “You would make an awful lawyer.”

“It’s a good thing I’m studying to be a physicist then,” Jake said.

He drove slowly on the road, leaving Sunoo in suspense until they came to a large open parking lot. There weren’t any other cars there. It must have been closed for the night, but no guard was around and there wasn’t a gate keeping them out. Sunoo didn’t mention again that it would be the perfect spot for a murder.

Jake parked the car and then twisted the key, turning it off. The headlights went off as well and the lights inside the cab came on. Neither one of them said anything. They sat in silence for a bit longer, until the lights inside the car turned off as well. The parking lot wasn’t lit at all, so Sunoo could barely see. He opened his car door to turn on the lights again.

“Do you want to go to the backseat?” Jake asked. “We could walk around a bit outside, but I don’t think it’d be very safe since it’s so dark.”

“Going to the backseat is fine,” Sunoo said, trying not to sound affected by the proposal.

He stepped out of the car, stretching his arms up into the air and silently yelling at his heart in his head. Sunoo didn’t think internally shouting at it would make it calm down, but it was at least worth a try. He opened the door to the backseat and slid inside. Jake joined him and they were once again sitting in an awkward silence.

“What is this place?” Sunoo asked.

“It’s for a hiking trail,” Jake said. “I think it’s attached to a bigger park, but I thought that the main parking lot would be more crowded, or at least under surveillance or blocked off.”

“This is definitely private,” Sunoo said.

Jake placed his hand on his leg again. His touch was gentle and light. It made goosebumps appear on Sunoo’s arms. His eyes hadn’t adjusted to the darkness yet, but Sunoo could still make out Jake’s outline in the dark.

“Your skin is so soft,” Jake said. He moved forward until his nose was brushing against Sunoo’s. “I think about touching you all the time. I can’t restock the shaving cream without thinking about you.”

Sunoo snorted, his lips pressing together so that he wouldn’t laugh. He didn’t think he would ever get tired of Jake’s honesty.

“And what does it make you think about?” Sunoo asked.

“Putting my hands on you,” Jake said. “I think about kissing your legs right after you’ve shaved. About helping you shave in the shower or in the tub, if you’d let me.” His free hand went to Sunoo’s other thigh, both of them moving higher until they were at the bottom of his dress. “You look really pretty tonight. I love this dress. I love how you look in it.”

“You do?” Sunoo said. He could barely recognize his own voice. It sounded so small.

“Yeah,” Jake said. “Kim Sunoo, you look like a dream.”

Their lips came together in a kiss that made sparks fly behind Sunoo’s eyelids. He brought his hands up so that he could cup Jake’s face, the pads of his fingers brushing over his skin. Jake’s hands stayed on his thighs and Sunoo wanted to tease him about it, to ask if he had a fetish for his legs. He couldn’t bring himself to put those thoughts into words though. Jake’s mouth made its way to his jaw and then neck, his teeth scraping against his skin. Sunoo held onto his shoulders as his entire body felt like it was in danger of trembling.

Once Jake moved his hands farther up, going under his dress and toward a place Sunoo wasn’t ready to face yet, Sunoo was brought out of his daze.

“No,” he said, the short word being all that he could currently manage. “No more than this. Not right now.”

“Okay,” Jake said. He pulled away from Sunoo’s neck and kissed the tip of his nose instead. “Whatever you’re comfortable with. This is more than enough for me. I love having you like this.”

Those words were all Sunoo needed to hear to be able to relax again. He melted into Jake’s arms once more as their lips joined in another kiss. Sunoo didn’t think he had ever in his life felt so safe.

-: ✧ :-

Their trips into the city didn’t end there. Over the last week, they went five more times. Jake drove them while the sun was setting and Sunoo was able to start making his way through the clothes he had bought online. He hadn’t worn the dress again, but the fitted jeans and blouses were all getting a chance to live outside of his closet. The one thing he wore every day was the Vulpix charm bracelet. Sunoo never took it off.

While they were in the city, they went to different restaurants and shops. They saw a new movie as well and Jake held his hand from the very start to the ending credits. It was addicting, being able to form a new life where no one knew who he was. Sunoo didn’t gain any weird looks because of his clothes or because he was with Jake. Everyone looked at him and saw an omega. It was everything that he had ever wanted.

On their way back from the city, they didn’t always stop at the empty parking lot next to the hiking trail. Sometimes they were too tired, or Sunoo simply wasn’t in the mood. But when they did stop, all of the previous awkwardness between them started to disappear. Sunoo had gotten so bold lately that he felt comfortable sitting on Jake’s lap as they kissed, letting Jake put his hands on his ass over his jeans.

Tonight, they were returning from another one of their trips. They had stopped at the parking lot and Sunoo swore that his lips were going to be swollen in the morning. It was as if Jake had refused to let him go, always bringing him in for one more kiss and promising that it would be the last one. He had said that at least four times tonight.

“That’s weird,” Jake said, breaking Sunoo out of his thoughts.

They were back at the village now. Sunoo’s home was on the other side of town, so they still had a bit of time before they had to say goodbye for the night.

“What is?” Sunoo asked.

“Someone’s walking,” Jake said. “It’s so late. Why is anyone out at this time of night?”

“Slow down,” Sunoo said, rolling down his window. “Let’s see if they need help.”

“Are you sure?” Jake asked. “What if it’s a trap?”

“You are such a city boy,” Sunoo said. “Nothing like that ever happens in towns like this.”

He knew that that wasn’t exactly true, but he did want to see who was out so late at night. Sunoo hoped that it was someone just out on a nightly stroll since it was too hot during the day to go on a walk. Jake slowed down, but didn’t come to a full stop, letting the car roll on its own as they approached the person walking.

Sunoo instantly recognized them.

“Jungwon?” he said, sticking his head out of the car window. “What are you doing out so late?”

Jungwon’s arms were wrapped around his middle and he was once again dressed as prettily as a picture. He startled only slightly once Sunoo called out to him. Sunoo was sure that he had heard the car approach, but hadn’t expected someone to speak to him.

When Jungwon turned his head to look at him, Sunoo saw that his eyes were red. He had been crying.

“Hi, hyung,” Jungwon said. He wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of the cardigan he was wearing. It did nothing to hide his tears. “What are you up to?”

“That’s what I asked you,” Sunoo said. “Do you want to get in the car?”

“No,” Jungwon said. “That’s okay. I’m just going to Wonyoung’s house. I’m spending the night with her.”

“It’s past midnight,” Sunoo said. “And you don’t have an overnight bag with you.”

“It was a last minute decision.”

Sunoo put his hand on the door handle, but Jake shouted at him before he could open it. He didn’t say any exact words, he just let out one loud scream.

“What is wrong with you?” Sunoo asked.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jake shot back. “You can’t step out of a moving car.”

“You’re barely moving,” Sunoo said.

“It’s still dangerous.”

“Just come to a complete stop then.”

Jake did as he was told. Jungwon had already stopped walking, standing on the sidewalk with his arms wrapped around himself. The sleeves of his sweater were covering his hands.

Sunoo got out of the car once Jake had put it in park. He went to Jungwon and placed his hands on his shoulders, silently hoping that he would still be allowed to do that much for him.

“Hyung, you look nice,” Jungwon said. “Is that a new shirt?”

“Yeah, it is,” Sunoo said, looking down at himself. He had completely forgotten what he was wearing. His mother and Jake were the only two people who had seen him in his new clothes. He didn’t mind that Jungwon was seeing him like this as well though. “That doesn’t matter. What are you really doing out this late?”

“I told you,” Jungwon said. “I’m going to stay at Wonyoung’s.”

“And I believe that,” Sunoo said. Wonyoung also lived in the same neighborhood as Jungwon and he was walking in the direction of her house. “But why are you crying?”

“I watched a really sad movie and–”

“Don’t lie to me,” Sunoo said. “Please, don’t do that. I know things between us aren’t great, but I can’t have you lying to me.”

He watched as Jungwon seemed to crumple right before his eyes. Jungwon took a deep breath and Sunoo knew that he did it to stop himself from crying again, but it didn’t work. Tears rolled down his cheeks and Sunoo instantly reached out so that he could wipe them away.

“He broke up with me,” Jungwon said. “He said… He said that he made a mistake.”

“Oh, Jungwonie,” Sunoo said, taking Jungwon into his arms. He brought his hand to the back of Jungwon’s head, petting him as he cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Sunoo wasn’t sorry at all that Heeseung had ended things between them, but now was definitely the wrong time to tell Jungwon that.

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” Jungwon said. “Everything was fine. But tonight, he just said that we should put things on hold. He said that I could stay until the morning, but I needed to get away from him. I already told my parents I was staying the night at Wonyoung’s, so I texted her and–”

“It’s all right,” Sunoo said. “You don’t have to tell me all at once. Just breathe for me, okay?”

Seeing Jungwon like this was actively breaking his heart, but he was also a little bit relieved. Jungwon was speaking to him again. He was relying on Sunoo just like he had before.

Sunoo moved his hands to Jungwon’s back, moving them up and down as he soothed him. Jungwon’s cries eventually calmed a bit as well. He was still shaking though and Sunoo couldn’t help but wonder if he was getting a cold. Jungwon was trembling while wearing a sweater, and it definitely wasn’t a chilly night.

“You should text Wonyoung and tell her that you’re staying with me,” Sunoo said. “It’s so late. Let her go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Jungwon asked.

“Yang Jungwon,” Sunoo said, cupping Jungwon’s cheek before pinching it gently. “I’m always sure about you.”

He managed to usher Jungwon into the backseat of the car. Jungwon even let him fasten his seatbelt for him. Jake started to drive without a word from Sunoo, having listened to their conversation and already knowing where he needed to go. Sunoo watched as Jungwon texted Wonyoung, sniffling as he did. He patted at Jungwon’s cheeks with the back of his hand in an attempt to dry up his tears.

“Did I ruin your date?” Jungwon said. “This is a date, isn’t it?”

“It was a date,” Sunoo said. “The end of one. Jake-hyung was just driving me back home. You didn’t ruin anything.”

As they sat in silence while Jake drove, Sunoo started to become irrationally paranoid. Could Jungwon notice how swollen his lips were? What if he had some kind of secret sixth sense and he knew exactly what they had been doing in this backseat, less than an hour ago?

Sunoo shook his head in an attempt to erase those worries from his mind. There was no way Jungwon could know what they had been doing. And if he did, Sunoo wasn’t ashamed. He had nothing to hide from Jungwon. Sunoo had always been open to him about everything.

Jake stopped the car in front of Sunoo’s house. Jungwon got out of the car first and Sunoo followed him soon after. He went to the driver’s side though, leaning down when Jake rolled down his window.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Sunoo said.

“I would like that,” Jake said, “but if he needs you all day tomorrow, then that’s fine. I might hang out with Heeseung and see if I can figure out his side of what happened.”

“And then we can get together and compare our notes,” Sunoo said, liking that idea. “We make a great team.”

“We really do,” Jake said.

Sunoo leaned down even more, kissing Jake quickly. Jungwon had already entered the gate and was more than likely waiting for Sunoo at the front door. Sunoo didn’t want to keep him waiting for too long.

“Good night, hyung,” Sunoo said.

Jake wished him good night as well, and then he was driving away. Sunoo stood at his front gate and watched the taillights until Jake’s car was out of sight. He joined Jungwon at the door, unlocking it and then heading inside. They both slipped their shoes off and then Jungwon was making his way to Sunoo’s bedroom. It was almost as if they hadn’t been apart for nearly six months.

Sunoo entered his room after Jungwon, closing the door behind him and then going to his closet. He got a set of pajamas out for both of them. Jungwon went to the bathroom first and the two fell into a nighttime routine that was effortlessly familiar. They had had countless of sleepovers before. It didn’t matter how much time had passed since their last one. A routine like this would never leave them.

When they had both changed clothes and brushed their teeth and washed their faces, they got into Sunoo’s small bed together. Jungwon curled up against his chest and Sunoo played with the ends of Jungwon’s dark hair.

“Tell me about you and Jaeyun-hyung,” Jungwon said. “I feel like I missed everything.”

Sunoo knew that whatever had happened between Jungwon and Heeseung was what they should really be discussing, but he didn’t mind the slight detour. He liked talking about Jake. Bragging to Riki and his mother was fine, but it didn’t compare to talking to Jungwon.

He started at the beginning, not wanting to leave a single detail out. Sunoo told him about how Jake stopped by the bakery, about how he ran into him at the grocery store and Jake asked him to come to Heeseung’s party. He told him about the long forgotten Pokémon lunchbox and the charm bracelet Jake had used to redeem himself. The walk on the beach where they came out to each other and then kissed for the first time. The tiny Italian restaurant and all of the other trips into the city. He even told Jungwon about the empty parking lot and the time they spent in the backseat together, while sparing just a few details. And then he told Jungwon how he didn’t want Jake to go back to Australia.

“I’m happy for you, hyung,” Jungwon said in a soft voice once Sunoo had told him everything that he could think of. “You deserve someone who makes you happy.”

“So do you,” Sunoo said.

It was his way of bringing the attention back to Jungwon. Sunoo had shared all that he needed to. It was Jungwon’s turn now.

He didn’t seem too pleased by this turn in their conversation. Jungwon groaned, pushing his face against Sunoo’s shirt and trying to make himself look smaller. It didn’t work on Sunoo though. He tugged lightly on Jungwon’s hair and when Jungwon tried to swat his hand away without looking at him, Sunoo could only laugh.

“Can we talk about it later?” Jungwon asked.

“No,” Sunoo said. “I’m not tired yet and I don’t think you are either. And you should talk about it now, while you don’t have any time to come up with an excuse.”

Jungwon was quiet for a while. Sunoo didn’t push him again. He placed his hand on Jungwon’s back, tapping his fingers against his borrowed pajama shirt until Jungwon finally turned his head. Once Sunoo could see his face again, he saw that Jungwon was pouting. His eyes were still a little red and puffy, but Sunoo thought that he looked as adorable as ever. It took most of his self-control to not start cooing at him.

“He said that I should focus on my last year of high school,” Jungwon said. “He’s a distraction for me and I’m a distraction for him too. He’s going to start university soon.” Jungwon took in a shaky breath and Sunoo could tell that he was going to start crying again. “Why did he even… Why did he kiss me in the first place? Why did he tell me that he liked me if he was just going to leave me in the end? I don’t understand him. I don’t even think he really liked me. He was probably just playing with me.”

It broke Sunoo’s heart, seeing Jungwon so upset. And he was about to break his own pride, since there was something he had to say. He didn’t care for Lee Heeseung and he didn’t want to do anything to help him, but Sunoo knew that Heeseung wasn’t a liar.

“Of course he liked you,” Sunoo said. “It’s impossible not to love you, Jungwonie. I’m sure he was scared of how much he liked you.”

“He’s a coward then,” Jungwon said.

Well, Sunoo wasn’t going to argue with that. He didn’t approve of Jungwon’s relationship with Heeseung, but that didn’t mean that he wanted Jungwon to be so heartbroken. Sunoo continued to stroke his hand up and down Jungwon’s back.

“He invited me over to his house tonight,” Jungwon said. “I told my parents I was spending the night at Wonyoung’s place. Heeseung’s parents are out of town, so I thought – I thought that he was finally going to give me a courting collar and that we would… be together, fully.” His face turned bright red as he said those words and Sunoo had never wanted to hurt Lee Heeseung more in his life. “And things were going that way, but I guess he changed his mind. He doesn’t want me.”

“He does want you,” Sunoo said, once again hating that he was somewhat defending Heeseung. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I don’t think he was faking anything. I’m sure tonight he just realized something. He realized that you’re too young for him, or that your lives are in different places. It’s not the right time for you two.”

Jungwon tightened his grip on Sunoo’s shirt. The corners of his lips turned down into a little frown and his eyebrows bunched together.

“Then why did he even approach me at all?” Jungwon said. “Why couldn’t he have just left me alone?”

Sunoo bit his tongue. Now was not the right time for an “I told you so.” Maybe he could get one out tomorrow morning though.

“Because sometimes it’s easier to act before thinking things through,” Sunoo said.

He thought of Jake. Sunoo didn’t regret anything they had done together this summer. He would do it all again, if given the chance. But he also knew that his future heartbreak was guaranteed. And there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening.

-: ✧ :-

Sunoo leaned against the counter at the bakery, watching as Jungwon and Riki sat together at the little corner table, laughing over something Jungwon had shown him on his phone. It was mid-afternoon and Sunoo was counting down the minutes until Jake finished work at the grocery store and came to meet him at the bakery. Jake’s summer vacation was slowly coming to an end. There was only a week left until he would pack his bags and take a flight back home. Sunoo still didn’t know how he was going to say goodbye.

“What are you two laughing about?” Sunoo asked once he approached Jungwon and Riki’s table.

“It’s just a dumb cat video,” Riki said.

“Hey, it’s not dumb,” Jungwon said. “You thought it was funny!”

“I thought that you thinking that it was funny, was funny,” Riki said.

Jungwon’s face scrunched up as he took a moment to dissect Riki’s sentence. Even Sunoo needed a moment to understood what he had said. Once Jungwon was done thinking about it, he shoved Riki’s shoulder. Riki didn’t even budge and he laughed at Jungwon’s attempt.

“Still watching cat videos, Wonie?” Sunoo said. “Haven’t you moved on from that?”

“No,” Jungwon said, holding his head high in the air. “They’re still funny to me.”

Sunoo smiled, rustling Jungwon’s hair. It was then that he noticed that Riki’s sketchbook was open. He must have felt comfortable enough with Jungwon to let his guard down. Sunoo was about to let his curiosity get the best of him and allow his eyes to wander, but the front door of the bakery opening stole his attention again.

Wonyoung came walking in. Sunoo could see the rest of her friends waiting outside of the bakery, fanning themselves with their hands to help combat the heat.

“Jungwon-ah,” Wonyoung said, lighting up when she saw him. “We’ve been looking for you. We’re heading to the beach today, since it’s our last day before school starts again. Aren’t you going to come with us?”

Jungwon immediately glanced at Sunoo. He looked worried, and Sunoo wasn’t sure why. They had only recently started talking to each other again. Once school started for Jungwon, Sunoo was going to see him even less. Maybe he was worried that they weren’t going to have a lot more time together. He had nothing to worry about though.

“You should go,” Sunoo said. “That sounds like fun.”

“Okay,” Jungwon said. He seemed relieved, now that he had Sunoo’s approval. “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Great!” Wonyoung said. “We have to celebrate the last day of summer break.”

She took Jungwon’s hand in hers once he stood up, lacing their fingers together and then swinging their joined hands back and forth.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, hyung,” Jungwon said. “Bye, Riki!”

“Bye, hyung,” Riki said, waving to Jungwon as he left.

Wonyoung stopped right at the exit, her hand on the doorknob. She turned her head to look at Sunoo.

“Sunbae-nim,” she said. “That shirt is really cute. Where’d you get it?”

For some reason, Sunoo didn’t register right away that Wonyoung was talking to him. He looked down at his shirt. It was one that he had bought online recently, only having arrived in the mail yesterday. The shirt was pale green with ruffled sleeves. He hadn’t really been thinking when he got dressed that morning. Sunoo knew that he needed to wear something lightweight and comfortable, and this shirt seemed to fulfill that for him.

“I’m not sure,” Sunoo said. “I bought it online, but I can’t remember the name of the store.”

“Could you check for me later?” Wonyoung asked. “And send me the link?”

“Sure,” Sunoo said.

“Yay!” Wonyoung said, waving her hands excitedly. “Thanks, sunbae-nim!”

She was gone after that, dragging Jungwon along with her. Once they were outside with the other omegas, they all gathered together in a small group, bouncing up and down and talking cheerfully. It was their last summer vacation as high schoolers, so Sunoo imagined that this day had a lot of meaning for them.

He looked away from them and brought his attention back to Riki. Instead of staring at the group of pretty omegas outside, Riki had been gazing at Sunoo. Their eyes met and Riki flinched, looking at his sketchbook instead. He realized that it was open and he jolted again, grabbing the front cover and trying to close it.

Sunoo sat down in the seat across from him. He rested his chin on his palm, watching as Riki tried to close his sketchbook as quickly as possible.

“Can’t I see what you’ve been working on?” Sunoo asked. “At least one drawing. Please?”

Riki placed his hands on top of the sketchbook. They slowly closed into fists, gripping the cover of the book. It wrinkled it slightly and Sunoo reached across the table. He placed his hand over Riki’s in an attempt to relax his hands, but he only made Riki jerk back instead.

“You haven’t looked inside, have you?” Riki said. “When I used the restroom or if I stepped away for a second, or–”

“Riki-yah,” Sunoo said. “I haven’t seen anything. That’s why I’m so curious, but you don’t have to show me if you don’t want to.”

He expected that to be the end of it. Sunoo pulled his hands away from Riki. There were a couple of dirty dishes on the table, from both Jungwon and Riki. Sunoo grabbed an empty plate just as the sketchbook opened.

Riki flipped through the pages quickly, working his way toward the middle of the book. Once he had settled on a drawing, he flipped it around to face Sunoo and then pushed it toward him.

Sunoo wasn’t surprised to see himself on the page. He was standing behind the counter, his eyes downcast and his mouth smiling. His surroundings weren’t that detailed. The cash register was missing from the countertop and the glass case that was filled with pastries was empty. All of the effort Riki had put into the drawing had been focused solely on Sunoo. He placed his fingertips against the corner of the page where it was still blank. Sunoo didn’t want to smudge the drawing in any way.

“I needed practice drawing people,” Riki said, “and I’m here every day and you’re here every day.”

“Well, it’s a very nice drawing,” Sunoo said. “It’s very flattering, too. No one has ever drawn me before, so–”

“I also think you’re the prettiest omega I’ve ever seen.”

Riki spoke so quickly that Sunoo wasn’t sure he had heard him clearly. It sounded muffled as well, but Sunoo was almost positive that he knew what he had heard. Riki was scratching the back of his neck, his head turned down as he picked at the corner of his sketchbook. Sunoo leaned forward, wanting to ask him to repeat what he said, when the door to the bakery opened.

He stood up, ready to greet the new customers. It turned out that he didn’t have to though. They greeted him first.

“Sunoo!”

The bakery’s owners walked in. They had big smiles on their faces and their arms were outstretched. When they approached Sunoo, they patted him on the shoulder and the top of his head.

“You’re back early,” Sunoo said. “I thought you weren’t arriving until the end of the week.”

“We cut our vacation short,” one of them said. She was a short omega with curly hair and round cheeks. Her mate was the exact opposite, being a tall alpha woman with a sharp bob haircut. “We missed being home. And we missed you too.”

She put her hands on his forearms before taking a step back to look at him.

“You look very lovely today, Sunoo,” the alpha said.

“I do?” Sunoo asked, tilting his head to the side. “I don’t think I look any different than I usually do.”

“Well, I think you look like you should be enjoying the sunshine,” she said. “Why don’t you go ahead and leave? We’ll pay you for the full day. Let’s close up early today.”

That sounded like a fantastic idea to Sunoo. He smiled at them both, bowing in gratitude and promising to listen to the stories about their trip tomorrow. Once he was done speaking to them, he went back to Riki’s table only to find it empty. At some point, Riki must have packed up his things and left.

He made a mental note to text Riki later, but right now he just wanted to see Jake. Sunoo grabbed his things from the backroom and said goodbye to the owners one more time before he headed out. He grabbed his bike that he had left outside the bakery and swung his leg over it. If he hurried, he would be able to meet Jake at the grocery store right as his shift ended.

It had been awhile since he had biked home from the bakery on his own. Jake would come to pick him up every day at the end of his shift, so they would leave together. The path was familiar to him and he easily rode through the streets, the summer sun shining down on him.

Sunoo made it to the grocery store just as Jake walked outside. Taking his feet off of the pedals, Sunoo started to step onto the pavement, walking with the bike as he approached the store.

“Hyung!” he called out cheerfully.

Jake noticed him right away. His face broke out into a wide smile as Sunoo stuttered to a stop, planting his feet on the ground right next to Jake.

“What are you doing here?” Jake asked as Sunoo lowered his kickstand. “Shouldn’t you still be at the bakery?”

“The owners came back from their trip,” Sunoo said. “They said that I could leave early, so I wanted to come surprise you.”

Sunoo got off of his bike and was instantly brought into a hug. He laughed as Jake held on to his waist, pushing his face against Sunoo’s neck.

“This is the best surprise,” Jake said, his voice muffled against Sunoo’s skin. “Today was awful at the store.”

“What happened?” Sunoo asked.

“I dropped two watermelons and I had to clean them up,” Jake said. He pulled away, gazing at Sunoo’s face with his warm eyes. “My grandma was so mad, but that doesn’t matter now. What do you want to do? We could go to the beach. I could ask my grandma if I can borrow the car and we can go to the city. We can do whatever you want. You decide.”

“That’s a lot of pressure,” Sunoo said. “What if I make the wrong choice?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s impossible,” Jake said. “There are no wrong choices.”

He held on to Sunoo’s waist as he thought over his options. Jake had never been shy when it came to affection in public. Neither of them had made a public announcement that they were together, but they didn’t hide it either.

“Let me drop off my bike back at my house first,” Sunoo said. “Then I’ll decide.”

“Works for me,” Jake said. “I’ll come with you.”

The walk from the grocery store to Sunoo’s home was mostly uphill. Jake took his bike from him, rolling it along as they walked. Usually, Sunoo would complain about this trek, but today it didn’t bother him. Jake’s company always made him feel so energized.

“I always keep it just inside the front gate,” Sunoo said once they arrived. He opened the latch to the gate and then stepped aside so that Jake could roll it onto the grass of their front yard. Jake leaned it against the fence and Sunoo could see sweat forming on his face. “Do you want to come inside? I can get you a glass of water.”

“That’d be nice,” Jake said. “Thanks.”

Sunoo unlocked the front door and then walked inside with Jake right behind him. His mother was at work still, so it was quiet. He took his shoes off and watched as Jake did the same before walking toward the kitchen.

This was the first time that Jake had actually come inside his house. He had picked up and dropped Sunoo off multiple times before, but this was his first official visit. Sunoo used to hate having friends over. The house was clean. There wasn’t much clutter, but he used to be embarrassed by how small it was. Now, he didn’t care as much about what other people thought. And he knew that Jake would never judge him.

“Here you go,” Sunoo said after he poured two glasses full of cold water from the pitcher they kept in the fridge. “I can’t wait for autumn. I feel like summer is never going to end.”

“I wouldn’t mind a never ending summer,” Jake said. He took a sip from his glass before looking around the kitchen. “You know, it’s winter in Australia now.”

“Really?” Sunoo said. “How does that work?”

“The seasons are kind of reversed there,” Jake said. “It’s because Australia is in the southern hemisphere. So, it’s cool there now. Or, well, as cool as it can get in Australia.”

Sunoo had never thought about that before, about how countries on the other side of the world even had different seasons. He thought that was something that was universal for everyone. Sunoo watched as Jake finished his water and then took the glass from him, putting it in the sink. He had only taken a few sips from his own glass, so he kept it on the kitchen counter.

“Have you decided on our plans for the rest of the day?” Jake asked. “I really wouldn’t mind going to the beach, but trying a new restaurant in the city also–”

“Do you want to see my room?” Sunoo asked.

The question took them both off guard. Jake was startled because he hadn’t been expecting it at all, it seemed. Sunoo was taken aback by his own boldness as well. It was something he had been thinking about more often lately, but he didn’t think he could ever be so straightforward about it. He was surprising himself so much these days.

“Uh, sure,” Jake said.

Sunoo reached for his hand, intertwining their fingers before leading Jake to his bedroom. It was another space that he used to be embarrassed to show others. In the past, he definitely would have been mortified to show it off in the state that it was in now. Sunoo usually kept it neat, but his bed was unmade and his closet door was open, showcasing his chaotic collection of clothes.

He closed the door behind them once they entered and then let go of Jake’s hand, freeing him to move as he pleased.

“Your room is so…” Jake said as he walked around the small space. He stopped at a bulletin board Sunoo had hung up above his desk. There were a few photos tacked on it. Most of them were of him and Jungwon, or of his mother. “It’s very Sunoo.”

“And is that a good thing?” Sunoo asked, sitting down on his bed.

“It’s the best thing,” Jake said.

His short tour of the room ended with him standing in front of Sunoo, looking down at him while Sunoo stayed seated on the bed. He was nervous, but at the same time, Sunoo couldn’t help but to feel oddly calm. This was the first time he had ever even thought about doing something like this with another person. Jake was the best option though. Right now, he was the only person Sunoo wanted to trust with this side of himself.

“Do you want to sit next to me?” Sunoo asked.

“Yeah,” Jake said, his smile coming easily. “I do. I just want to make sure that I’m not reading this wrong.”

“You’re not,” Sunoo said, patting the mattress next to him. “I want you to touch me, hyung.”

That seemed to be enough to put an end to any doubts that Jake had in his mind. He joined Sunoo on the bed and took Sunoo’s hands in his. Jake’s palms were sweaty and Sunoo wasn’t sure why that made him feel even more at ease.

“We should talk about it first,” Jake said. “We should talk about what you want and what you’re comfortable with and I… I’ve done this before. Not with you, obviously. But, with other people and none of them were trans and I don’t know if there are certain boundaries that you want to set up or… Am I making sense?”

“Yes,” Sunoo said. He couldn’t stop himself from chuckling at Jake’s long rambling speech. “You’re making sense. And I appreciate how much thought you’ve put into this.” Sunoo pulled his legs up onto the bed, crossing them and making himself as comfortable as he could. He grabbed Jake’s hand and then placed it on his knee, letting him feel his bare skin since he was wearing shorts today. “I know that you don’t care about what I have between my legs. But I… I don’t really like what I have, if I’m being honest. I do plan on, one day, having surgery to actually look like an omega there as well. Right now, I’m comfortable, um, touching myself there, but I’m not sure if I’d like you to.”

“Okay,” Jake said, nodding his head. He had been listening intently to every one of Sunoo’s words. “That’s fine.” His hand moved up Sunoo’s thigh, gently stroking his skin. “Can I suggest something then? You can turn it down, if you don’t like it.”

“Go ahead,” Sunoo said. “I want to know what you like and don’t like, too.”

Jake grinned at him. It was Sunoo’s favorite expression that he made. He always looked so handsome and boyish when he smiled like that.

“I’d really like to…” Jake started. “Can I… Would you let me fuck your thighs?”

The question took Sunoo so off guard that he couldn’t stop himself from making a strange gasping sound that got stuck in his throat. It must have terrified Jake since his eyes widened to become as big as Sunoo had ever seen them.

“I take it back,” he said. “Forget I said that. Erase it from your mind, Kim Sunoo. I never said those words.”

“Yes, you did,” Sunoo said. His voice still sounded a little thin, even to his own ears. “You can’t take that back.”

“Well, too late,” Jake said. “It’s been taken back already.”

“No, it hasn’t,” Sunoo said. He reached forward, holding on to the sleeves of Jake’s shirt, almost like he was afraid that he was going to run for the door. His own face was warm and anticipation was swirling in his stomach. “You can’t take it back before you… elaborate.”

“Oh,” Jake said. He blinked a few times in surprise, his mouth falling open slightly. “Okay. Uh, sure.” Jake also brought his legs up onto the bed so that they were now fully facing each other. Sunoo was still holding on to Jake’s shirt. “I was just thinking that, if you’d want, you could be on your… hands and knees.” He said the last few words very quickly and in one breath, but Sunoo could still understand him. “And I’ll be behind you with my hands on your waist or hips and I can, like, use some lotion or lube, if you have any, on your thighs and you could put your thighs together and I would… fuck them.” Jake then started to nod, almost like he needed his self-approval for his own plan. “You said you were comfortable touching yourself, so you could do that and my, uh, dick would kind of rub against you and that would feel good too. For you. I hope.”

Jake looked terrified. Sunoo had no idea why. It was a good idea. Sunoo shifted on the bed a bit, feeling his core slowly fill with heat. Jake’s words had been so clinical. There wasn’t really anything sexy about them, but it was still enough to light a fire inside of Sunoo.

“I would like that,” Sunoo said. He moved forward, placing his hands on the mattress and rising up to his knees. Sunoo leaned toward him so that their lips were mere centimeters apart. “I think we should do just that, hyung.”

“Yeah?” Jake said. His hands moved up Sunoo’s legs, until they rested on his hips, his fingertips settling on the top of his ass. “If I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, or if you want to stop, just tell me.”

“Okay,” Sunoo said. “I will. And you’ll let me know too? If you want to stop?”

“Of course,” Jake said, grinning again. That really was Sunoo’s favorite grin. He felt a bit possessive in that moment, hoping that Jake never showed it to anyone else. “Is it okay if I look at all of you?”

It was a question that Sunoo hadn’t been expecting, but he found himself grateful for it. He pressed his lips together, thinking it over before speaking again.

“Waist up is fine,” Sunoo said. “But from below… I don’t want you to look at me from the front.”

“Sounds good,” Jake said. “I can definitely keep my eyes to myself.” His expression became playful and Sunoo braced himself for what he was about to say next. “I really just want to see your ass, so that works for me.”

Sunoo gasped, scandalized as he hit Jake’s shoulder. This made Jake laugh, the loud sound echoing in the small room. He grabbed Sunoo’s wrist and then pulled him until he fell backwards, Sunoo lying on top of him.

“I’ve never bought into your innocent, boy next door image,” Sunoo said. “I always knew you were a pervert.”

Jake laughed again, totally unharmed by Sunoo’s words.

“You like me like this,” Jake said. His hands came down so that they were on his hips and then they headed further down, cupping Sunoo’s ass. “I know you do.”

Sunoo couldn’t find it within himself to argue with that. He surged forward, kissing Jake for what felt like the thousandth time, but was surely the first time when they were in a situation like this. They had made out plenty of times before, but their clothes always stayed on and they were able to end it before it was taken too far. This time couldn’t be more different. Jake was already tugging on the bottom of his shirt.

Once Sunoo’s shirt was over his head and dropped on the floor, he sat up, settling on Jake’s lap since he was already straddling him. Jake’s head was on his pillow, so he had a perfect view. His hands were still on Sunoo’s thighs, but his eyes were focused on his chest now.

“You’re so pretty,” Jake said. He moved one of his hands, sliding it up Sunoo’s stomach and then settling it on his chest. Sunoo shuddered a bit when Jake’s thumb brushed one of his nipples. “Can I ask another–”

“Go ahead,” Sunoo said. “You can ask me anything.”

Jake didn’t speak right away. He continued to touch Sunoo’s chest, his fingers experimenting with different tactics as he teased his nipples. They weren’t that sensitive, which Sunoo found disappointing. He had always liked the idea of someone touching him this way, but it wasn’t as intense as he thought it would be.

“After you start HRT,” Jake said, “is your chest going to get bigger?”

“Just a bit,” Sunoo said, laughing. “Male omegas don’t have very big chests, so I’ll probably stay pretty flat. But, I’ll have more fat there.”

“Nice,” Jake said. He sounded like he was almost in a daze. One that he quickly woke up from. “Interesting, I mean. The human body is really–”

“Come here,” Sunoo said, reaching for Jake’s face and then bringing their mouths together.

He loved how curious and accepting Jake was, but he didn’t want to hear about all of that right now. The questions weren’t unwelcome. Sunoo was becoming impatient though. He tugged at Jake’s shirt as well, pulling it over his head once they separated from their kiss. Once it was off, Sunoo went right back to kissing him. This was where he felt the most comfortable. Kissing Jake was something he felt fully confident in.

Jake took the initiative when it came to taking his own shorts off. He unbuttoned them and pushed them down his legs before taking his boxers off as well. Sunoo tried his best to keep his eyes looking forward, focusing on Jake’s eyelashes or his nose or–

“You can look,” Jake said. “I give you permission to look at whatever you want.”

Sunoo quickly looked down. Jake’s hand was around his cock, slowly pumping himself. He wasn’t fully hard yet, but Sunoo still had the urge to touch him, his own hand feeling as if it was itching.

“I have, um,” Sunoo tore his eyes away. He reached toward his nightstand and opened the top drawer. Inside was a bottle of lube. “I have this.”

“Good,” Jake said. His chest looked as flushed as his face did. “Great. You have that and I have… one second.”

Jake’s shorts had fallen onto Sunoo’s bedroom floor, but Jake reached down to grab them again. He reached into his pocket and took out his wallet, and then took out a condom from the pocket of his wallet, as if his shorts were a very strange version of a nesting doll.

“Do you always carry that around with you?” Sunoo asked.

“Not always,” Jake said. “But lately I’ve started to.”

Sunoo glanced at the wrapper and felt a bit of relief to see that it was a Korean brand. The logo wasn’t in English. He had bought it here. It wasn’t something that had lived in his wallet since he was last in Australia.

They started kissing again and Sunoo returned to a state of being at ease. His hands moved freely across Jake’s skin, coming into contact with his chest and back and even down to his ass. Jake was always warm, but now he felt like he was burning. He imagined that his body felt the same to Jake.

Sunoo was so aroused, his entire body waking up and coming alive to each one of Jake’s touches. His face and chest felt flushed. His stomach was twisting and turning. And he was hot between his legs. After undressing fully as well, Sunoo tried to keep that part of himself away from Jake, moving his hips back so that they wouldn’t touch.

“Do you want to turn over for me now?” Jake asked, his voice sounded almost hoarse as he spoke against the skin of Sunoo’s neck. “We don’t have to if you’re not ready yet.”

“It’s okay,” Sunoo said. “I’m ready.”

Jake gave him some space and Sunoo instantly missed his touch. He hadn’t imagined that the temperature around him would drop so suddenly as soon as Jake backed off. Sunoo looked at him before he turned around. Jake was sitting back on his heels with his eyes closed. His cock was hard and curved up against his stomach. With every breath he took, his chest seemed to heave.

Sunoo got on to his hands and knees, keeping his legs pressed together as much as he could.

“You can look now,” he said.

Not a second later, he heard a loud exhale from behind him. And then he heard a few phrases in English that were most definitely swear words. Sunoo felt hands on his hips next and then Jake’s chest was pressed against his back. His cock brushed against Sunoo’s ass.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Jake said, his hands squeezing Sunoo’s hips. “So fucking beautiful.”

Jake kissed his neck then, littering it with kisses and then traveling down his back with his mouth. Sunoo did his best to support himself with his hands, but each kiss made his body shake. He saw Jake’s hand grab for the bottle of lube that had partially hidden itself in Sunoo’s tangled sheets.

Sunoo closed his eyes, bracing himself for what happened next. He didn’t want to look at Jake, so he focused on the sounds instead. A lid was being uncapped and then there were wet, slick sounds, most likely because Jake was warming the lube up on his hand. Then, he felt it. Jake’s hand went between his legs, smearing lube onto his thighs. Sunoo trembled and finally gave up on staying on his hands. He lowered onto his elbows instead, not caring how he was practically presenting himself now.

There were a few more slick sounds, but Sunoo tried to focus his hearing on something else. His own heartbeat was loud in his ears. Sunoo wanted to hear Jake though. He wanted to hear the soft moans he made and how every single breath he took was unsteady.

Sunoo felt Jake’s cock press against the seam of his thighs. His body froze.

“Did you put–”

“Yeah,” Jake said before Sunoo could finish his question. “I put it on. Don’t worry. I’ll keep you safe.”

He kissed Sunoo’s shoulder, squeezed his hips, and then pushed forward. His cock was in the middle of Sunoo’s thighs, not high enough to make contact right between his legs.

“Can I go higher?” Jake asked.

Sunoo considered it for a moment. It would feel better. He would get more out of it. Jake wouldn’t judge him or care.

He wasn’t ready for that though.

“No,” Sunoo said. “Stay right here. Right where you are is fine.”

“Okay,” Jake said. “Just don’t forget about yourself. I want you to feel good, too.”

Sunoo didn’t think he could forgot about that, even if he wanted to. He allowed Jake to continue though, letting himself get lost in the sounds that Jake was making. Sunoo focused on his warm hands gripping his hips and the feeling of his cock sliding against the sensitive skin of his inner thighs.

He gripped his pillow and then slowly lowered himself so that his chest was resting against the bed. Jake kept moving and Sunoo squeezed his eyes shut before he touched himself. He only focused on the most sensitive part, ignoring the rest. The moan that forced its way past his lips sounded much too loud, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to feel embarrassed anymore. Sunoo was going to let his body feel whatever it needed to in this moment.

It all became too much for him. He didn’t last long, but he hadn’t expected to. Jake’s rough breathing and quick, unevenly timed thrusts told him that he wasn’t alone. Sunoo pushed his face against his pillow, digging his nails into the fabric as he came undone.

Jake followed soon after and they quickly became a mess of sweaty limbs on Sunoo’s bed. He tried his best to catch his breath. Jake’s chest was still pressed against his back. He brushed his nose across Sunoo’s skin, starting at his jaw and ending at his shoulder. Jake’s hands were still on his hips when he nipped at Sunoo’s neck, in a poor imitation of a mating bite. It made Sunoo squeal and blindly reach behind him. He came into contact with Jake’s side and managed to slap him lightly. Jake laughed before burrowing his face against Sunoo’s neck.

“Was that good?” Jake asked. His voice had never sounded so small. “Was that good for you?”

“Yes,” Sunoo said.

He turned onto his side so that he could face Jake. The smile Jake gave him could only be described as dopey. All Sunoo wanted to do was to kiss him and, realizing that there was nothing holding him back from doing so, that was exactly what he did.

-: ✧ :-

“Let’s try another pose,” Sunoo said. He changed his footing a bit and then looked off into the distance. “Do I look like I’m waiting for my lover to come back from the war?”

“Sure,” Jungwon said, taking the photo. “We can go with that.”

Sunoo reached his hand out, hoping to look like he was longing for something far away. Then he stopped posing and went to Jungwon’s side. He watched as Jungwon swiped through his camera roll, showing Sunoo the photos.

“These are really nice,” Sunoo said. “Can you send these to me?”

Jungwon was already selecting each photo and then tapping on the message icon. A few seconds later, Sunoo heard a ding come from his purse. He picked it up from where he had sat it on the ground and then reached for his phone, pleased to see the notifications from Jungwon.

“It really does suit you, hyung,” Jungwon said. “I had no idea you would look so good as a blond.”

“Me neither,” Sunoo said. “I’m glad it worked out. I didn’t want to have to pay for them to dye it back to black.”

As soon as they exited the salon, Sunoo had posed outside next to a fence that had tree branches sticking through the gaps. It wasn’t the most scenic spot for photos, but he couldn’t wait. Jungwon had been more than willing to act as his photographer as he posed.

He was grateful that Jungwon had come with him at all. Sunoo had arrived at the salon by himself, but Jungwon had shown up for the last hour, since school had just let out for the day. They were walking through town together now, their arms linked.

Sunoo had one more destination until he could head home. It was one that he had been dreading for so long, but now it was time for him to face it. He didn’t want to have his hair dyed now, but the stylist in their town only had a Monday time slot open for today. Jake had insisted as well, so it wasn’t like Sunoo could turn it down.

“Are you going to be okay?” Jungwon asked.

“Probably not,” Sunoo said. “I’m going to need you to be available tonight. I plan on crying for at least three hours.”

“We can video call Sunghoon-hyung too,” Jungwon said. “He won’t cry with us, but Jay-hyung will. All we have to do is mention that Paolo guy and he’ll start bawling again.”

Sunoo slapped his hand over his own mouth in an attempt to muffle the loud shout of laughter that escaped him. It didn’t work that well, but he had at least tried his best.

Paolo was an Italian ice dancer who trained at the same rink that Sunghoon did. He had taken Sunghoon on a few dates, two years ago, before Jongseong had decided to fully lose his mind and move to the States to confess, one last time, to Sunghoon. Sunoo was glad that it worked out for them. He didn’t think Jongseong could survive the humiliation if Sunghoon had turned him down again.

“I thought we all agreed to never bring up Paolo again,” Sunoo said. “You better not say his name in front of Jongseong-hyung during our call tonight.”

“I’ll try my best not to,” Jungwon said. “I can’t make any promises though.”

Sunoo was glad that Jungwon was back to his old self, for the most part at least. He was cracking jokes again and teasing their friends whenever he had the opportunity. The uniform skirts had officially replaced the pants though and Sunoo could still see a gold necklace peeking out from under the collar of his shirt. What Jungwon had gone through was still sticking with him, but Sunoo was grateful to have his friend back.

“Sunny!”

Just the sound of that voice, and the silly nickname, was enough to have Sunoo’s heart soaring. He looked toward the source of it and he couldn’t stop a smile from forming on his lips. Jake was standing next to a taxi. His broad grin was matching Sunoo’s. And that was the first twinge that Sunoo felt in his heart.

“I’ll go ahead,” Jungwon said. “I’ll meet you at your house, okay?”

“All right,” Sunoo said.

Jungwon gave him a reassuring smile and then unlinked his arm from Sunoo’s. He walked forward while Sunoo stayed in one place. Jungwon approached Jake with a smile and they exchanged a few words before Jungwon was continuing on up the road.

Sunoo moved then, his feet feeling heavier with every step.

“Wow,” Jake said once Sunoo was close enough to reach out and touch him. “You look amazing.”

“You like it?” Sunoo asked.

“So much,” Jake said.

He brought his hand up to Sunoo’s hair, playing with a few of the now blond strands. Sunoo felt a lump form in his throat and he could see Jake’s bottom lip start to wobble.

Jake took Sunoo’s hand. It was the same hand that had the Vulpix charm bracelet around his wrist. His thumb brushed over the charm and Sunoo tried his best not to let the first few tears fall from his eyes.

“I have an appointment next week,” Sunoo said. “It’s with a doctor in the city. It’s just a consultation, but it’s a start.”

“That’s incredible,” Jake said. “I’m so happy for you.”

They stared at each other then. Sunoo was barely holding himself together. It was like he was just waiting for Jake to do something that made him fall apart.

“Can I kiss you?” Jake asked. “Please tell me that I can kiss you.”

Sunoo didn’t trust his voice. He nodded and Jake took his face in his hands, kissing him soundly on the lips. Sunoo didn’t care that they were standing in the middle of the road during the daytime. Anyone could see them, but that didn’t matter to him.

Jake pulled away from him. He took a deep breath and Sunoo thought that he was going to speak again, but he went in for another kiss instead. This kiss had a sense of urgency to it. His lips were almost harsh as they pushed against Sunoo’s mouth. He held onto Jake’s shoulders as they kissed.

Eventually, Jake pulled away. Sunoo could clearly see the tears in his eyes now.

“I have to go,” he said.

“But I don’t want you to,” Sunoo said, finally breaking down.

He sobbed, his hands clawing onto Jake’s shoulders. Jake pulled him into his arms and Sunoo knew that he was crying, without having to even look at him.

“This isn’t the end for us,” Jake said. “I refuse to let it be the end. I’m going to find my way back to you.” He pulled away again, looking directly into Sunoo’s eyes. “I adore you, Kim Sunoo.”

There were too many things that Sunoo wanted to say to him. He couldn’t even begin to think of how to bring those thoughts into words. Sunoo was also crying too hard to say anything coherent. He knew he would look back on this moment and regret not at least trying, but for now, he had to settle with what he was capable of doing.

“I’ll see you soon?” Sunoo said.

“Yeah,” Jake said, giving him a watery smile. “Really soon.”

Jake kissed him one last time and then he was pulling away for good. Sunoo stood, rooted to the spot, as he watched Jake get into the backseat of the taxi. The door shut and then it was driving off. Sunoo felt like a piece of his heart was leaving as well. He waited until he couldn’t see the car’s taillights anymore.

Sunoo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. And then, he started to walk, making the journey uphill to where Jungwon was waiting for him at home.

Notes:

I wrote this story because I love these two together and on Sunoo's birthday, I panicked and wanted to write a SunJake fic. Obviously I wasn't able to get this fic done in time for that, but I finished it during the summer, so at least I'm posting this in the correct season.

I love this fic so much and I am so glad I can finally post it. I know it's kind of an open ending, but I do want to visit this verse again sometime. I might write companion pieces about other couples, or come back to SunJake with a sequel. It won't be any time soon though since I have a lot of other fics I'm working on.

Thanks for reading!
Erin
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