Chapter Text
“Stop scowling, your face will stay that way,” Pandora teased, poking a finger into Regulus’s dimple. She tipped her head to the side and followed his gaze. “What did Potter do this time?”
Regulus swatted at her hand, then grimaced. “He hugged Sirius.”
Pandora frowned. “So? He always hugs Sirius, as well as the other two. Just an affectionate bloke, I suppose.” She studied Regulus’s face, eyes flitting across his features with interest, “This has gone on long enough, Regulus. I’m starting to think you fancy him.”
“Shove off. He’s a blood-traitor and a thief, I’m allowed to hate him,” Regulus snapped, turning away from her.
“I suppose, but why would you want to? It’s not like he’s doing it to spite you. Potter actually likes your brother. Why…I’ll never understand, but they’re best mates. Of course he hugs him,” Pandora pointed out. She glanced back at the four boys, lips twitching with amusement as she watched Remus shove James away when he leaned across the table to hug him as well. “That hardly makes him a thief.”
Regulus snorted derisively. “Sirius is a twat, but he means well. Potter is just rubbing it in my face that he’s taken my place.” He clenched his teeth as the name rolled off his tongue. Lifting his hand, he reached for his wand.
Like lightning, the Ravenclaw’s hand shot out and gripped his wrist. “Don’t even think about it. Last time you hexed him, they flooded the dungeons. I thought Rosier was going to start a full bloody war over it.”
“Evan had the right idea,” Regulus grumbled, ripping his arm from her grasp.
Pandora shrugged. “I suppose you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” She sighed, resting her chin on her hands and her elbows on the table. Her gaze flicked back to the Gryffindors. “I think he’s rather fetching personally.”
“What?” Regulus gasped, swiveling violently in his seat to face her. “Pandora!”
“Oh shut it, he’s gorgeous,” Pandora huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed. If he wasn’t such an arrogant prick, I’d give it a go.”
Leaning across the table, Barty flicked Regulus’s hand. “Oi! Don’t yell at her. She has a fucking point.”
“You too? Traitors, all of you,” Regulus shot back, wrenching his arm away and rubbing his hand. “Is everyone in love with him now?”
Barty leveled an annoyed look at him. “Just because he’s fit doesn’t mean he’s worth shagging. Don’t be rude.”
“Exactly.” Pandora nodded at Barty in appreciation. The long strand of blond hair she was twirling mindlessly fell from her fingers. “I wouldn’t, obviously, Regulus. I’m just appreciating-”
“Don’t,” Regulus grumbled, shoving his plate away. His appetite long deserted him since spotting the deep embrace between his brother and ‘the Potter boy.’ Against his will, his eyes trailed back to the pair, who were now shoving each other with grins that encompassed their faces.
“I’d rather have a go at you or your brother myself,” Barty taunted, leaning his arms on the table and shooting a mischievous grin at Regulus. “You Blacks are far too pretty.”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “I’m not shagging you, Barty.”
Narrowing his gaze, Barty licked his lips lasciviously and smirked. “Never say never, Black.”
Snorting a laugh, Pandora nudged Regulus’s shoulder. “Might do you some good. You’re so tense lately.”
“The offer stands,” Barty insisted, eyebrows wriggling suggestively.
Evan plopped down into the seat next to Barty and then froze, eyes flitting between the three of them. “What did I miss? This looks…disturbing.”
“Barty propositioned Regulus again,” Pandora supplied succinctly. She waved a hand dismissively at Evan’s horrified expression. “He said ‘no,’ of course, because Regulus can’t allow himself a bit of fun.”
“Loosen up, Black!” Barty insisted, reaching across the table to prod his shoulder.
Regulus huffed, leaning away from his touch. “Piss off.”
Pandora frowned, slipping her hand into his and squeezing. “We’re just worried about you, Regulus. You’re wound so tight, I’m afraid you’ll burst at the seams.”
His shoulders slumped and his eyes fluttered closed. “I know. I know. It’s just infuriating.”
“You could talk to Sirius,” Pandora suggested, tightening her grip on his hand when he flinched. “Come on, Regulus, he’s tried to reach out. You’re the one who pushes him away.”
Releasing an exasperated breath, Regulus covered his face with his free hand. He knew she was right, but it wasn’t going to help either of them. Sirius had tried, several times as a matter of fact. If he had half the courage his brother did, he’d have met with him too. The ringing shrieks of his mother still bandied about in his head, however. She’d warned him away from Sirius, and Potter. Her threats were never uttered lightly, she meant every word.
“Regulus? You all right?” Evan asked, eyebrows drawn together in concern.
An exasperated huff sounded on Regulus’s left. “What have you lot done now?”
“I didn’t do anything.” Evan said, shrugging. He glanced at Pandora pointedly. “Right?”
“Reg is jealous of Potter again,” Pandora replied, smiling as Dorcas budged Regulus’s shoulder.
“Bloody hell! Why?” Dorcas groaned, rolling her eyes. “If you don’t pull your head out of your arse this minute, Regulus Black, I swear…”
“I am not jealous, especially of that…prat," Regulus scoffed. He pulled away from Pandora and stood up, straightening his robes. “I’m done. Just going to find a place to read.”
Pandora jumped to her feet. “I’ll come with you.”
“No, just no,” Regulus refuted, holding out his hands to block her. “I need to be alone.”
“Dramatic much?” Barty teased, arching an eyebrow skeptically. “The fearless Regulus Black running off to hide again. Can’t cope with a bit of ribbing.”
Inhaling deeply, Regulus steadied himself before glaring back. “Leave it or I’ll hex your eyebrows off again.”
“Alright, alright,” Barty acquiesced. “Go on then. We’ll find you later.”
Regulus nodded in acknowledgement and turned swiftly away from the table. He kept his chin held high as he snapped his spine perfectly straight, old habits he was in no hurry to forget. While his parents may not expect ‘great things’ from him like they did from Sirius, he still had a reputation to maintain. He would never admit it to anyone else, but Regulus felt wholly unprepared for the title of ‘heir’. If he was honest with himself, unworthy as well.
When his mother announced he was no longer welcome home for breaks when he refused to be hand-fasted to a girl over the summer, he was somewhat relieved. Not that the discussion was over, but he was given a temporary reprieve. With winter hols fast approaching, he faced a lonely two weeks in the castle, however. All of his friends were leaving.
Heading up the vast maze of staircases, Regulus allowed his mind to wander. At the beginning of his sixth year, he’d felt fairly confident that this was his year to prove himself. He’d spent his 17th birthday with his friends and ignored the letter from his parents reminding him of his ‘family duty’ as heir. While his celebration was a bit lackluster without Sirius’s usual chaos added to it, he was pleased to be an adult nonetheless.
“Reggie! Stop!”
Regulus rolled his eyes, annoyed that his brother chose now to accost him. He sped up, moving as fast as the impediment of his swaying robes allowed. Pounding footsteps followed him up the stairs, despite Regulus’s attempt to escape. Just as he jumped off the edge of one onto another, his brother leaped right behind him.
Sirius reached out and grabbed his arm as they landed, swinging him around. “Oi! Why are you running?”
“To get away from you!” Regulus retorted, spinning away and charging up the stairs ahead of him.
Sirius caught up to him immediately, matching his pace. “I heard about the Parkinson girl.”
Regulus ignored him, making a sharp turn at the top of the stairs. Sirius maintained his speed while ruffling a hand through his hair in frustration. They turned at the bend in the corridor simultaneously, but at the last second, Sirius gripped his shoulder and shoved him into an alcove. He propped his fists on his hips and glared, jaw tense as he surveyed Regulus critically.
“Why did you refuse?” Sirius asked. "Tell the truth for once."
“I didn’t want to marry her,” Regulus snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s reason enough.”
A deep frown marred Sirius’s face. “You’ve never refused them before though. Why now?”
Regulus pressed his lips together, revolted by the idea of sharing such a deep secret with anyone, let alone his estranged brother. He could hardly admit that the mere thought of marrying, and bedding, a girl made him queasy in theory and downright ill with deeper consideration. He was queer, and in pureblood society, that was worse than an Unforgivable curse.
Even though Sirius turned his back on his role as heir didn’t mean that he’d completely rejected pureblood ideology. He’d run to another pureblood family, after all. While the Potters were considered ‘blood traitors’ for consorting with muggles, their lineage still remained intact. It was logical to assume they held similar ideals.
“Reggie?” Sirius said, narrowing his gaze. “What’s going on?”
The longer they stood here like this, the harder it would be for Regulus to keep his snarky facade in place. His brother was one of the few that could see through it with relative ease. Sirius’s expression softened as he reached out to grip Regulus’s shoulder. The urge to spill every bloody detail burned the back of his throat. Don't say it. He doesn't understand.
“Please? Tell me? Are you alright?” Sirius pleaded, his hand lifting to brush Regulus’s chin-length hair back from his face.
Huffing in resignation, Regulus nodded. “I’m fine, Sirius. Marriage is a step too far, that's all.”
Sirius inhaled deeply, eyes fluttering closed as he leaned forward to rest his forehead against Regulus’s like they used to, ages ago. His hands lifted to cup Regulus’s jaw firmly. The relief radiating off of his brother was equal parts infuriating and welcome. Regulus never could keep his emotions at bay with Sirius, he knew too well what buttons to push to rile him up or calm him down. It horrified him that even now that his brother’s simple gesture could release every bit of anger he’d clutched close to his chest.
Sirius opened his eyes slowly, ocean blue meeting steely grey. He studied Regulus for a long, silent moment before lifting his head. His hands still held the sides of Regulus's face.
“I need to know that you’re okay, Reggie. If I can do anything, I want you to come to me. Understand?” Sirius spoke quietly, but his fingers tensed against Regulus’s jaw. This is not a request, was his unspoken message.
“Oh, now you care about me?” Regulus snarked, pushing Sirius away. “Where was all of this concern last year when you abandoned me in that awful place to run off with Potter? Has the guilt finally caught up with you, Sirius?”
“I couldn’t do anything for you then,” Sirius defended, a deep sadness washing over his face. Regulus ached at seeing it so openly displayed. “I had to get out of there before it killed me.”
Regulus’s jaw worked stiffly as he chewed on the words he'd dreamed of spitting back with venom. “And fuck off to everyone else, right? No thought given to what would happen when you ran off? Or, who would suffer the brunt of their anger because of it?”
Sirius inhaled sharply, but didn't back down. He never backed down. “It was self-preservation, I admit that readily. I never thought they’d come after you. You were always their favourite, the perfect example of everything I did wrong.” He turned to the side and leaned against the wall of the alcove, tugging his wand from his pocket and twirling it idly over his fingers. “I wanted to take you with me, but I didn’t think you’d come.”
“I would have,” Regulus insisted, his hands in fists at his sides. “You never even offered! You just left me there to rot!”
“Reggie, I-“
“Don’t!” Regulus snapped, wrenching his wand out of his sleeve. “Don’t you dare pretend you thought about me, not once. We both know you didn't.”
With Regulus’s wand tip pressed to his throat, Sirius’s face fell. He gave Regulus a long, pained look before stepping back into the corridor. Chewing the inside of his cheek and nodding slowly, he sighed. “You’re right. I didn’t think about you, I just wanted out. I had to escape.”
Startled by the admission, Regulus lowered his wand and stared. He hadn’t expected such blatant honesty and didn’t have a comeback handy to defend against it. His throat closed as the defeated grimace on Sirius’s face. The truth hung in the air between them and his indignation faded to an all too familiar pang of rejection. His brother truly never considered Regulus in his plans, not even a passing thought. I hoped it was a mistake, that he simply didn't have time to tell me the plan.
“I’m truly sorry, Reggie,” Sirius said solemnly. “If you want to hex me…do it. I won’t fight you. I deserve it.”
Regulus’s shoulders slumped. “Tell the truth, Sirius. Why didn’t you take me with you?”
Sirius dropped his gaze to the ground, clearly ashamed. “I was afraid they’d come after me if I did. They’d already disowned me and replaced me as heir, but you? To them, you were worth pursuing.”
“You left me,” Regulus whispered.
“It’s not too late, Reggie. You can leave too,” Sirius insisted, reaching for him. He buried his hands in Regulus’s hair, gripping the back of his head and shaking slightly. “Don’t go back, come with me.”
Regulus closed his eyes, lifting a hand to clutch at his brother’s forearm. “Where would we go?”
“Well, the Potters said—“
“Absolutely not!” Regulus's eyes flashed open as his nails embedded into Sirius’s skin. “That’s the first place they’d look!”
“You’re an adult now, they can’t force you to go back.” His fingers curled tighter into Regulus’s dark waves. “They can’t stop you from leaving now. Please, Reggie, come with me.”
“Well, I’m not allowed home for breaks anymore,” Regulus admitted, trying desperately not to lean into his hands. It had been so long since Sirius held him like this and really looked at him, saw him. “I don’t want to stay at the Potters, Sirius.”
“Just stay for winter hols! You don’t have to decide anything right away. They're good people, and our parents will never know,” Sirius said, ducking his head to catch Regulus’s eyes. “At the end of term, I’ll get a place for us. Let me try to make it right, Reggie. Please?”
Is this the only way? Can I actually go with him this time? He wanted to leave, more than anything, because returning home meant appeasing their parents. That was the reality of his situation, no matter how he twisted and turned it in his head. Regulus's options were severely limited.
Sucking in a stuttering breath, Regulus nodded. “Alright, fine, but I still don’t like him, and I never will.”
Sirius grinned. “James is an acquired taste, I’ll give you that. He grows on you though, if you let him.”
“I won’t."
Sirius pulled him into his arms again and squeezed tight. “That’s alright. You don’t have to.”
Relieved, Regulus sank into his embrace and pressed his face into Sirius’s shoulder. This was a dangerous proposition, and if it got back to his parents, they would punish him violently. If he didn't, he'd have to marry into misery.
He forcefully pushed the rush of fear from his mind when Potter’s voice echoed down the corridor. Regulus refused to let that utter twat see him fall apart. Besides, this break was his one and only opportunity to banish that brother-imposter back into his place, as a mere friend.
“Oi, Sirius! Why did you run off?” Potter called, running down the corridor.
Sirius stepped back from Regulus and pulled him out of the alcove and into the light. Flashing a triumphant grin, Sirius clutched the side of Regulus’s neck fondly. “Guess who’s joining us for hols?”
“Really? That’s brilliant!” Potter enthused, bounding down the hallway toward them. “Mum will be so surprised!”
Regulus was startled by his eager response. Potter was quite dense if he hadn’t realized that they were adversaries. Sirius must have mentioned to the arrogant twat how close they used to be, and he was determined to get that closeness back, Potter or no Potter.
Practically beaming, Potter came to an abrupt stop and rocked on the balls of his feet. That painfully bright smile spread across his lips as he met Regulus’s scrutinizing gaze. His hazel eyes sparkled with delight as he ruffled his curls carelessly. I can see right through him, if I try. He's so naive to expose so much.
“Hello, Regulus,” Potter said, holding out his hand.
“Potter,” Regulus replied, nodding curtly and ignoring his hand.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Don’t be rude, Reggie. He’s not that bad.”
Potter smirked, dropping his hand to his side with a shrug. “Can’t blame him for being intimidated, Sirius. I am something of a legend around here. Master prankster, Head Boy, and Gryffindor's star Chaser, after all.”
“Oh? Do you play quidditch?” Regulus asked, blinking slowly. He did his best to project innocent confusion, enjoying the disbelief flitting across Potter’s face. That will bring his ego down a peg or two.
“I’m Gryffindor’s Captain!” Potter huffed, staring at him incredulously.
Shaking with silent laughter, Sirius leaned forward. “He’s taking the piss, mate. I'm sure he knows. Reggie is Slytherin’s Seeker.”
“I knew that,” Potter replied, meeting Regulus at his level with eyes narrowed behind his glasses. “You’re pretty good too.”
“Mmm, I know,” Regulus hummed, nonplussed.
Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter and leaned back against the stone wall. “Don’t let his innocent act fool you, James. He has claws, and bites.”
Eyebrows soaring up his forehead, Potter eyed Regulus with renewed interest. “Oh?”
Annoyed, Regulus focused his gaze past Potter. A coy smile slid across his lips as a tall, lanky distraction passed on the stairs. “Is that Lupin I see? Clever bloke, that one. Will he be over for hols too, Sirius?”
Sirius jumped and waved at Lupin, like an eager child. “Remus! Over here!”
Regulus was well aware of his brother’s attempts to impress the tall bloke, and wasn't afraid to use it to his advantage. Plus, he was rather curious about what Sirius saw in Lupin. He's so plain and kind of creepy.
As Lupin loped down the corridor with his hand raised in greeting, Regulus noted that disappointment flashed across Potter’s face. His expression quickly shifted to his ready grin as he spun around to greet Lupin. It was amusing how easy it was to deflate Potter’s confidence. Regulus hadn’t even tried to be mean, just feigned disinterest. This was going to be laughably easy.