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"i'll hold you forever, my dove." venti's voice is so very gentle.
his kisses warm my face, despite how completely cold the fingertips against my jaw feel.
i rest my face into the crook of his neck, feeling as his arms wrap around me and pull me closer to him.
there's a faint scent of alcohol and something sweet. i find it comforting. i just want to stay here forever. my legs are far too tired, and my joints so sore. i feel bruised and battered. my body is content ending my travels so long as i can be near him though. my mind and heart must disagree though.
i wonder if he's so good at soothing me because he's an archon, or is it experience? i assume it's just an immediate positive reaction from myself.
when's the last time i cried before this? the flow of tears felt like it lasted for hours. now my cheeks feel hot, and my eyes feel heavy and tired. i'm surprised venti would even kiss my face, given how salty it likely is.
finally breaking down from everything makes enough sense. the moment i collapsed into the bed in my teapot, letting my aches be at ease, for once shedding myself of my tattered clothes and wearing something worth sleeping comfortably in. and then i laid facedown...and i just cried.
why did I start crying after all this time? was i just that tired? was it feeling safe enough to let it out?
i thought i had been quiet enough. i only had a few companions who came and went as they pleased, if anyone else was here that wasn't paimon or me, i didn't want to disturb them and embarrass myself while i was at it.
but venti doesn't work like that. he just knows these things, i guess he can read me that well now, maybe because i consider mondstadt my "home." i'm unsure how long i had been crying into my bedsheets before i felt a hand run gently over my head a few times. i looked to the side, seeing venti crouched beside my bed, his hand resting on my hair now. he tilted his head and frowned at me with concern.
"i'll play you a song, traveler." he thumbed a tear on my cheek away.
venti let me awkwardly rest my head on his shoulder while he strummed his lyre. he was probably waiting for me to talk about it at my own will, but i guess that didn't happen. i fell asleep.
a series of events leading to how things are now.
this is the closest i've been to venti, practically cuddled into him. i don't care though, it's not that embarrassing. he's kissed my hands and face, and even my lips, but this would be the first time i had let him hold me.
"i miss her..."
it came out of nowhere, but i said it. the words had been struggling to escape my mouth for hours now. but venti seems to understand, he seems to know exactly what i meant.
the way his eyes look into mine is a way i can't really describe, but i think i have stumbled into barbatos' arms. he cups my cheek, ever so gently. venti hums as he gives my cheek a few strokes of his thumb, "if there's anything all walks of life can agree on, it's the pain that comes from loss."
the ache in my chest dropped to my stomach. it feels worse.
"and it's hard to come to terms with..." he mumbles. "but you are doing the very best you can, aether."
aether. aether. when's the last time someone called me aether? lumine. that hot feeling pools up in my eyes again as i grip onto the sheet below me. tears threaten to spill out again, and i know venti knows, and yet i still feel like hiding myself away in shame.
"why did you call me my name?" i practically choke on my words. i'm falling apart once again, for a second time.
"maybe i like saying it..." venti's eyebrows furrow as he looks at me with an unreadable expression, wiping away a stray tear that slides down my cheek. "everyone calls you traveler, or the traveler. not that that's wrong...you are a traveler." he pauses and takes a breath. "but...if you never hear your own name, might you forget who you are?"
i don't quite understand what he means, but i don't get the chance to ponder that.
"at the very least that name keeps your tie with your sister. if i were to just call you traveler, that's only binding you more to the fact you are a traveler of this world. it makes it sound like that's all you are. you're here for a reason, aether. you're here to find her before you are here to do anything for anyone else in teyvat." he takes ahold of my face with both hands. "you are a lot of things. you hold many titles. but don't forget who you are. you're so very strong, and so capable...you will find her. you will reunite. but it's okay you've become so wrapped up in everything else, of course you're tired. you need rest."
i'm choking up again as i nod, fighting back tears that are spilling anyways, despite my efforts. i feel pathetic that a god is comforting me, ME...but it's true i am a man of many titles, and yet they don't change it that i am still just aether in the end.
"thank you, venti." i hesitate for a moment before giving in and letting my head fall to his shoulder.
venti gently undoes my braid as he speaks, "i'm an archon, and no how matter many mortals and other gods i have lost...it still hurts." i feel as his fingers gently run through my hair...i sigh, i can't help but feeling a least bit content now.
there's nobody else who tries to understand like he does. if anyone knows that you feel empty losing the person who looks exactly like you, it would be venti. to him i am more than the traveler. and i hold that knowledge close to my heart.
i can feel venti's heartbeat as i pull him into a hug, my arms wrapped tight around him. i didn't know he had a heart...well, a physical one. it's comforting, grounding almost. my mind feels fuzzy again, perhaps from crying or exhaustion.
i miss lumine, but i don't think i quite miss home. i might not hold much memory of it, but even then lumine and i were outcasts, i know that much. it feels nice to be praised so highly here, even if i work so hard for that praise. at least here, i have venti, and paimon, and actual friends and companions. they may not always understand, but they care.
i absentmindedly find myself laying right against venti's chest, content to be held in his embrace. i'm tired...my eyes hurt. but things feel a bit better. not for forever, but for now...
"venti?"
he hums in response.
"i, uh. i love you..." it feels nice to say. i have been holding those words a while now, they might as well come out now.
venti is silent, and maybe i've messed up by saying that. no matter if i am romantically involved with him, maybe it's not right to tell an archon you lo-
"i love you too, my dove."
oh...i can't help but smile, and close my eyes. he loves me too. we have both been alive so long...love comes and goes, he knows that as much as i do...but he loves me too. i think for a moment in silence, there's that thought hitting the corners of my brain again and threatening to materialize itself. but there's no reason it shouldn't. not now. when i think about it, there's no reason.
i move myself up closer to venti and rest in the crook of his neck,
"when i find lumine...i want to stay here. i don't want to go back home. i don't want to be a traveler of teyvat..." i pause, feeling the weight of venti's gaze on me. "i would be happy to call here my home..." i was ready to say that, and surely he will understand why.
everything goes silent for a moment, and then i hear venti giggle and feel the rumble of it against me. i feel like sighing to hear him do that...it almost feels like a reassurance. even if i don't know why he's giggling.
venti cups my cheek, and presses his forehead against mine. "and would you be a citizen of mondstadt then?"
oh. that's why he was giggling. i can't help myself, i smile at that and scoff playfully at his words, "of course i would. i like it here the best..." i press my lips against his for a moment. "you're here."
venti is giggling again and practically grabs me in a hug, "awe...i'm your favorite then?"
of course he's my favorite. he looks at me with bright eyes, they're so comforting to gaze into, i have made that conclusion. "i thought that was clear enough, venti, i don't go kissing other archons."
he gasps in offense, although so dramatic i know he's only joking. venti squishes my face between his hands and rubs his nose against mine, sounding excited as he speaks now, "i would hope not! i'm the archon of freedom and all, but you're mine to kiss, you know."
"you're a dork..." i mutter to myself. i feel warm inside hearing those words from him. it's almost like...a high honor, a high honor for an archon to say you're his in any form. even if venti is an archon though, i still can't see him as simply barbatos or venti on their own. he's complex, all archons are, all mortals are, all immortal beings are too.
"perhaps i am, aether, but i get away with it pretty well." venti smiles, then leans in and presses his lips to mine...a longer kiss than before, and maybe i don't want to pull away this time. i'm quite content with it, i think wrapping my arms around his neck gets that message across too.
to him i'm not just a traveler, but maybe that's because he already knew i didn't plan on leaving.