Chapter Text
“You can do this.”
She hated these moments more than almost anything else. That yawning chasm of anxiety that opened up before her. All the fears and self-conscious hate came roaring back as if she was still in the hospital during those long months of treatment and surgeries and medication that never did a damn thing. Turning her gaze away from the doctors and nurses, trying not to notice how they might grimace or turn away in disgust at what she had become.
Damnable antennae and extra eyes eventually taught her that that didn’t do as much as she’d like to give her blissful ignorance.
She’d thought she’d gotten over this.
Accepted that she… looked like this.
Hell, given how her new abilities had even been useful from time to time, she’d felt confident even in her own body for the first time in years.
Then came the first press conference. The follow-up from her father which recontextualized his efforts to curtail Bio-weapon research with what had happened to her. Confirming things, spinning others, and, sad as it made her, trying to save some of his own legacy from political rivals that suddenly went after him for being ‘soft’ on the Legacy of Umbrella.
Soft.
As if he should have signed off on killing his own daughter to save face with some jackass from Texas whose claim to fame was that never used bounty system for BOWs. And had proceeded to rant and rave about how creatures like her were what it was “Made for.”
In a way it was almost liberating. She’d spent so much time trapped in her own mind, trying not to think too much or too long about how much her life had changed and how much of what she had thought she’d have that had been taken from her… so much time hating it, sometimes hating herself. Finding out that some people hated her even more, without ever having met her had been strange at first. Before the lies.
They weren’t scared of her for things she could do, or even things that had actually happened. Instead the misinformation, the lies, the Facebook viral stories that claimed to be from someone that had examined her or knew someone that had. They got more and more absurd. From mind controlling pheromones, to her having devoured the men she slept with like a praying mantis (that had bothered her more for insinuation she’d had anything resembling a sex life since college) to stating that she had to be fed a diet of human meat, live humans, human children-
She’d stopped looking at them after a certain point, hiring someone to handle the social media aspects of her new career while she worried more about how she’d fight this.
It hurt to say, but as much as her father had tried to do the best for her, it had over time forged a gilded cage even if by accident. The laws to stop BOW production left very little wiggle room for her own personal classification. That man ranting about how she should’ve been shot might be blowing hot air, but technically she remained in a legal gray area in much of the country. It was morbidly humorous when she’d been told that some of the European nations she’d visited just prior to her infection didn’t consider her human at all and had rushed through explicit laws banning her from stepping foot on their soil.
Given how the last time she’d spoke to Leon he’d mentioned something about variants of the Plagas being rampant as BOWs there she tried not to let that bother her.
Leon…
Strangely he’d been more of a support to her than even during the rescue mission now. For a long time his guilt over what had happened had prevented them from having an honest conversation about it, but once she’d found the confidence to force the issue it had come out at last. By the end she'd been fighting down her emotions, embraced in the arms of another person and surprised by how relaxed he was about it. Even her own father had trouble at times.
She tried not to think about what Leon must have seen and done to so desensitize himself that her body didn’t even seem to phase him. Or about the weird little crush she’d started to have before everything went to hell.
Ashley let out a long breath, her mandibles slightly tapping together as she stood up and started towards the stage. This was part of why she was doing this. In some ways it was the entire reason. She was inoculated by wealth and power from so much of what could have gone wrong, lucky beyond words to have found so many that could and would still offer her support and kindness despite what had happened to her. How many others like her had simply been shot and killed without a second thought because there had been no plans for recovery or idea on how to cure them? The research bans in BOWs in particular were a double edged sword, and one that was increasingly only used to harm the innocent. The Plagas, Tyrants, T-virus descended strains, lab generated BOWs and… cases that might have been like her own, were still happening. Not in major American cities of course.
Now it was just another part of the endless string of Third World problems. Something that some warlord in Africa or a highlight of the latest potential conflict in the Middle East. The Eastern Slav Republic had practically descended into ethnic cleansing using BOWs in three separate cases over the last five years. But as long as the Russians could pacify the situation with tanks or a NATO approved drone strike took out the problem it was forgotten about within a week.
More and more death, but almost no plans to do anything more. There had to be more they could do… more that could be done. If not for her (Ashley had long ago realized that she was never going to look at the world with only two eyes again) then for the next innocent infected and left to wallow in a body that slowly turned into something else no matter how much they wished otherwise.
She stepped out from behind the curtain, seeing the crowd’s reaction. The sudden hush of voices followed by murmurs. The cellphones aimed at her, some at least trying not to be so blatant about it while most didn’t even bother. And always, always, so many that curled their lips in disgust. When she’d been by herself, away from the public she could pretend that maybe things were alright. That dressing up in the slowly growing wardrobe of rather heavily modified outfits that fit her well would be enough for them to see a person and not a monster. Hell, she got so used to herself that sometimes she’d actually think she looked good, enough contours of the human shape preserved that from the right angle you might actually still think she was a woman and not an insect like BOW.
At least she didn’t have that weird uncanny valley aspect that she’d seen in video footage of the ‘captured’ Tyrants.
But that was because there was no mistaking her face and body for human. Even that movie about insect aliens that had come out recently were in some ways closer to human in shape than herself. She wouldn’t know. She’d heard the plot involved a human turning into one and that had been enough to convince her she really wasn’t keen on finding out more.
Still she knew what she was dealing with. She’d prepared for it. People were scared, even the ones that didn’t buy into the most absurd conspiracy theories still didn’t understand that she was harmless. That the outbreaks at Raccoon City had come about from the need to cover up absurd volition of human experimentation and outright murder, not some inherent inability to look at these biotechnological horrors of the twenty-first century under a microscope without being possessed. Letting the shadow of that incident and the monsters, the true monsters who had been like that despite being every bit as human as those in front of her, prevent them from facing the truth before them wasn’t helping.
If anything, it was just perpetuating their crimes forward long after all of them had finally been put to death.
“Sorry for keeping you waiting,” Ashley said as she reached the podium. Controlling the slight motions of her antenna, not wanting to show how nervous she felt even if not many would realize what that meant. She’d gone with a pantsuit and skirt, the later of which a tad longer than normal for her. Some extra slits had been added to the slight spikes and edges of her legs didn’t rip at the cloth when she walked. “I won’t waste your time introducing myself since I think we’re past that. What I want to do is explain why I’m here today. We know that… that the Plagas is still out there.”
“And it’s not coming from me,” Ashley thought. This conference was about new tactics for the ongoing fight against Smart BOWs. Or more correctly just those that could be controlled and directed at others. As far as she knew (and the BSAA agents that had investigated these incidents) none of them were smart like herself. Just lab grown monsters or nearly brain dead once the transformation finished and likely with the vastly reduced lifespan to match. Special cases like herself were rare.
But not unknown.
“In the last six months there have been nearly two thousand civilians killed in BOW related conflicts. That number isn’t in the news as much because we like to pretend they weren’t. We say we treated them, or took them into custody. But there’s no treatment for nine tenths of the vectors for irregular mutations.”
“No treatment but a bullet!”
Ashley froze. Someone had stood up, a woman. Younger, not much older than herself if that. Her face was flushed and she was pointing at her angrily as he stepped out of his chair. For a moment she wondered if she might have a weapon. But the conference had metal detectors and she was pointing an airport coffee thermos of all things at her as she spoke.
“That’s the only thing that cures abominations like you!” she screamed out, rushing towards the stage now as her security moved to stop him. She’d unscrewed the top and was pouring the clear liquid all over their hands and a cloth as one of the guards came up to tackle her. Unable to get closer she threw the thermos onto the stage, towards Ashley were it broke open and the-
Saddler.
Red-eyes, glowing.
His voice, their voices, inside her.
Around her.
The buzzing, writhing hive that should have-
She reared back, hissing in wild panic, her mandibles spread wide and wings flared out. It must have looked terrifying as the woman that had caused it all went pale, easily tackled to the floor as Ashley backed away from the smell. Her antennas twitching madly and her whole body shivering. She… she’d thought she’d gotten used to this.
But she’d never encountered anything this strong before. A pheromone bomb, one of those little tricks they’d started using for ‘Smart BOWs’ from the Plagas strains or those that had been modified from Saddler’s research. Again, always the ways to kill the ways to hurt, that’s what propagated out. A dab of that and you could get a BOW to attack a specific target and ignore others. Different ones were even supposed to pacify some. Given how her heart was racing her entire body on edge that was clearly not what had been thrown onto the stage.
“You see? You see,” she screamed out as they started to pull her away and out of the convention center. “She’s not human. It’s a monster. Don’t let it fool you!”
One of the security guards came up to her, cautiously. Ashley looked up at them, thankful for their quick action. And stopped when she saw how his hands weren’t that far from his weapon. Of course. Of course they’d think she was dangerous, she was the monster.
No.
NO.
She waved them off, stepping to the side and grabbing the microphone from the podium as she did. She walked as far as she could from the mess on the floor as the event organizers tried to decide if they needed to call in custodians, biohazard teams, or cancel the whole conference.
No, she wouldn’t let them win.
“This… this is what I mean!” Ashley said, louder, angrier than she might have wanted. But she was tired of being afraid, of being disgusted of herself and ashamed. Of seeing fear and anger and disgust reflected back at her. “The only ways we’ve gotten better at understanding BOWs and the work Umbrella started is in making them more effective killing machines. No ones able to legally study these and everyone doing it illegally just wants to make the next one easier to control, harder to cure, make sure that they turn out right…”
“And not like me.”
---
She made it back to the hotel before collapsing. Tearing off the clothes, not even caring that they cost entirely too much to be treated like that. But the smell, that stench of pheremones from the latest generation of modified, Dominant Plagas, covered them. She couldn’t stand it. She dumped them in one corner of the room, kicking them to the side as the first hissing sob escaped her.
She could still cry she’d found out. It was just harder now. No one really noticed, her eyes just looking a little moist while the real sign was how her antenna went low and… shivered. She stumbled into the bathroom naked, grabbing the strongest smelling body wash she could find and poured it over her. Turning the water on and collapsing into the bath. Her tail was pinched for a bit as she huddled close, kneeling under the water and trying not to think about what a failure that had been.
She’d almost lost control.
Though it hadn’t been like that woman had wanted… instead all Ashley had wanted in those moments as something primal and inhuman that had been implanted into her was to run/crawl/fly into some deep dank hole and be so very alone.
And in a certain way, that’s just what she did. Trying not to question why she even bothered doing this in the first place.
---
MutantSightings Board
♦ Topic: BREAKING: Plagas Attack on Ashley Graham
(Previously: Live-stream of Chicago Bioethics Conference)
Boards ►Bio-Terror Response
Page 37 of 45
►Romero (Moderator)
We’ve now gotten confirmation that the attacker was a member of the radical anti-BOW group Pure Genes. It looks like they got a sample of the extracted control pheromones from one of the third or fourth generation Plagas strains.
Remember, this is an active incident so keep it civil from here on.
►Sandwich-Man
Can’t believe that crazy bitch would do that to Miss Graham.
Mod Notice: I just said keep it civil.
►Sandwich-Man
Seriously? What else are you going to call someone like this?
►RememberRaccoon
Bug-chow looking at how Ashley reacted.
►Sandwich-Man
Like you’d look any better if someone threw a bioweapon at your feet after telling you you should be shot on sight.
►RememberRaccoon
Hey dude, I’m not saying it like that.
Frankly she should have bitten that loon's head off. Not like she was using it for much.
►Romero (Moderator)
Attacking someone, even if provoked, would sadly be the worst thing that could have happened. Thankfully she had better sense than you RememberRaccoon.
►RememberRaccoon
Sense or no sense, it’s not like she didn’t deserve it.
►RobertoH (BANNED)
DELETED
►Romero (Moderator)
This is your last warning RobertoH/Bug-Stomper. I’m tired of you coming into these threads and posting conspiracy theory nonsense or potentially actionable threats against someone.
We know it's you and the moderator staff here will just keep banning you. Find somewhere else to post your BS.
►RememberRaccoon
EDIT: Okay, I know it’s deleted now, but seriously. What is with these people? Ashley is like, the ONLY person publicly known to survive mutation and remain sane and alive. She doesn’t even look as messed up as some of the other cases (don’t infract me again, I’m not being weird this time!) yet they go after her twice as hard as talking about how to handle those zombie outbreaks we had?
WTF is their problem with her?
►Sandwich-Man
Because she’s right. We, as in our military funded and started the new bio-terror industry. Umbrella's original contracts were under the DOD, even if they looked the other way for plausible deniability. Her dad keeps trying to deflect it onto the company, but they didn’t make all those walking biological tanks for shits and giggles. They did it to sell to Uncle Sam.
And before it turned out that the kind of researchers that will do that to people for a profit might be so crazy that they’d do it for other reasons and it all blew up they damn well might have.
Now the worst of it’s always overseas and out of sight. And she comes up, telling you to look at it and think about how we’ve just banned any research of it stateside while every wannabe Axis of Evil manages to cook up a new strain of something worse.
Because the real answer is that there’s no money in saving those people.
And that’s why so many hate her so much.