I Am Tsukasa Tenma Little Sister

by rainiswriting

Summary:

Saki is trying to find her role in the new world

Notes:

HELLO IM ALIVE, the fanfic I promised back in JUNE is finished in AUGUST I'm sorry it's only 3k words but like there's going to be more I promise.

Here are some updates: basically I've been trying to get to college and was rejected thrice I know I said on Tumblr I was denied twice but then I looked back and realize it was thrice whoops, but I finally got accepted into law school! and those documents are sheesh.

Thanks for being patient with me I also decided to enter two writing contests in my country so updates or stories gonna be a bit more delayed, I'm thankful for the support and patients you guys have for me, and hopefully, you enjoyed this!

(Apologies in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes)

(FYI the song saki played in the piano is Krank by Yoh Kimayama, I know the whole song isn't on piano but I really want to put the song here)

Nothing could ever trade Sakis' older brother.

She’s Saki Tenma, the little sister of Tsukasa Tenma, a self-proclaimed star, yet to her. He’s not. tsukasa has done so much for her both in her old and new worlds. He was an actor who cheered her up when she was sick and weak, and even when the role was reversed, he still acted on top of the hospital bed with the goal of making her and everyone around him smile.

No matter what world Tsukasa was still willing to play the role of Saki Tenma's older brother.

But then, what’s her role in this world? she used to be a sick child but now she’s not, but she’s also not the actor who cheers up her sick brother, so what is her role in this world if Tsukasa acts the same no matter what?

Saki concludes that no matter if she’s sick or healthy, she’s still useless.

After her first experience of almost losing her brother (in the new selfish world she created), Saki wants to play the role of the doting yet loveable sister that made her sick beloved brother smile. She won’t even be near as talented as Tsukasa, but if it makes him happy, Saki will be satisfied either way.

But that plan was immediately thrown out the window when she discovered that Tsukasa is still passionate about acting and creating shows. He still wants to make people smile even when he’s in pain. How can Saki, who takes too much from him, take this away from him too?

Days after the accident, she sat alone in her empty house, sitting in front of the beautiful grand piano in their living room. This is the first time she’s played it in years.

But not her from this new world. Her hands were rough, probably from hours and hours of playing the piano, filling in the silent house.

At first, Saki was scared that she might accidentally switch places with the Saki from this world, the healthy one. But in a way, if they did switch places, maybe the saki from this world would be thankful to see her brother alive and happy, even if she needed to suffer. How selfless her other self is.

And the more of this world's memory fills her brain, the more she forgets about her other world. She knows that slowly she’ll be the saki that has previously lived here, forgetting about being the sick little sister who everyone had abandoned except her family.

She knows she had a role here somewhere as Tsukasa's little sister. She had to. If not, then what’s the point of her being healthy?

"𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺." Saki cringed at her other self, those memories of Saki praying to take away her brother's pain no matter what. As long as he woke up the next day able to do another show, she’d do anything for her brother's happiness.

Maybe that’s why they were able to swap places; one wished to take away her own pain, while the other wished to take away her brother's pain. She hoped the other would treat her brother with care, even if her brother from this world is technically not her brother, she’d protect him because he’s still her brother.

She exhales, letting her fingers fly over the keys in a familiar gesture. What is she playing? She never has enough time to play a lot of songs because she is mostly sick, but now she can.

Her fingers move to play a melody that for some reason she knows by instinct. She remembers her other self playing multiple pieces, even writing her own songs.

For Tsukasa.

"There is no light here, And certainly no words either."

She sang. It was a song made by one of Hatsune Miku's producers. She’s not Ichika, who is familiar with every song Miku has sung. But in this world, it’s different. She’s able to see Ichika every day, so it’s obvious why she would know this song by heart.

“What should we do, After realizing this?”

She was too young to experience death every day. Tsukasa was too young to lose his little sister. Both were too young to experience something like this even in this world. She realized that one day her brother might die, and Tsukasa, who stayed, woke up late at night afraid that he wouldn’t wake up the next day.

What can two children do?

“All we can do at our ending is…”

She wondered about her healthy big brother. Did he come to terms that there was a possibility of a bad ending? The ending in which the prince, despite his best efforts, was unable to save the princess, the ending in which he awoke to the news of his sister's death. Did he accept that so easily? She’s jealous.

Maybe he didn’t, and never will. He’ll learn to move on, but the pain will still be there.

for saki? She doesn't know. She’s waiting for the cold and empty house to be filled with her brother's loud and prideful laugh. He always did, even in the hospital. He lights up her world so easily and she dreads the day he won’t open his eyes.

“Don’t think about that.”

She let out a shaky breath. How could she think that her brother was that weak when every day he believed in her? He believes she’ll get better and go home; he believes that she’ll go back to school despite her own doubts.

And yet a few days in her brother's shoes has rendered her weak, weaker than any of her fever ever made her. but no more.

“My body is torn up, The lotus has bloomed and already shaken free.”

She plays across the piano keys as if she has played the song a million times. She has been freed from the poison that was her body, and the price for her selfishness was her brother. What seemed to be a blessing was turned into a curse.

“The sunlight is fading away, I’m stupid I’m annoying.”

If Saki compared Tsukasa and the sun, her star would win even on those sunny days in the hospital. She didn’t feel as happy when Tsukasa was performing. It was stupid of her to make that wish.

“What an odd life.”

Who knows how a sick child's wish was heard and twisted in such a way? She simply wants to be healthy and normal. That's all she ever wanted. Why did life twist her wishes like this?

“But that’s my one and only value.”

Did her other self play for the same reason Tsukasa acted? How to make her sick brother smile despite him already filling the role? She could see how music could make him happy; music may not be able to cure Tsukasa's illness, but the happy look on his face will be worth it.

“Even this tear-soaked night is terribly oppressing me for now I don’t get it.”

Saki had cried silently in the lonely hospital late at night so no one could be worried, and she had cried in the lonely house late at night with no one to worry about, truly a pitying cycle.

“Butterfly, All alone again, Inside a box, Crying.”

She could cry as much as she wants, but she will play and make music for the sole purpose of making Tsukasa happy. She won’t show her pain and loneliness to make him worry. Tsukasa's role will never change, but that doesn’t mean Saki's role will stay the same either.

“That old music you made starts to dissolve, And just like it dissolves, I head to the sweet paradise, That you evaded, The reward was a painless love.”

“When the shadow that won’t allow us to spend our days alone like this, Changes color, We can reconsider if we really should stay in isolation.”

“There is no light here, And certainly no words either.”

“What should we do after realizing this?”

“All we could do at our ending is laugh.”

The song wasn't even finished when she decided it was enough for her; perhaps one day she'll find the courage to finish it, but for now, she'll let her singing voice choke up as she sobs.
—✩—

"And the villagers rejoice! And the animals follow along, cheering! The wizard was able to make the stoic and cold king laugh and smile! Oh, how effervescent his laugh was! "

"effervescent? Can’t you use normal-sounding words for once? " The split-haired boy and the pigtail instead shushed him despite the story already ending. "Come on, Tsukasa-senpai, you use words that only people in the nineteen hundred use."

"Well, when writing a story, using the same words over and over again might make the audience bored! so I took the liberty of expanding it! " Tsukasa closed the notebook. Compared to a few weeks ago, after the accident, no one dared to talk about it, Tsukasa looked better. His fever has gone down and his breathing is stable enough.

"As usual, Tsukasa-senpai shows are always shining bright, "Saki nodded enthusiastically. Both have a starstruck look. Akito cares about his partner and his new friend (?) Saki, and he’s concerned about the amount of admiration and worship these two have for this blond-peach-haired weirdo.

But in a strange way, he understands, because Toya did say that Tsukasa had saved him in his darkest moment, and without Tsukasa, he might not have met Toya at all, and the guy is growing on him after visiting him every Sunday with Toya for three weeks now.

After the accident, he had never seen toya so…lifeless before, Toya has always been someone who can’t express himself well, but in that moment, everything in Toya falls apart. Even the cheerful blond that radiates the sun was falling apart.

‘𝘏𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘷𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮.’ Akito admires Tsukasa (but he’ll never admit it). He’s the one that should be entertained, risking his life every day, and yet the guy is still willing to create these shows for the simple smile of his friends and family.

Akito can respect that.

"That story was so good!" The girl almost squealed and almost immediately changed her tone, "Now it’s time for you to rest! I’ll be staying over today since it’s Saturday! " It almost terrifies him how fast the girl can turn from the typical adorable little sister to the strict and mature little sister.

But well, her brother is Tsukasa Tenma. The guy who can’t let himself loose even when he needs it.

"What?!" "No fighting against this, my dear brother. I brought my clothes and, plus, mom and dad said it's okay! " She said, putting her hands on her hips. He tries to deny it, saying she should just sleep over at Ichika or Honami or Shiho rather than at some hospital, but his sister is as stubborn as him, and because he’s weak, once again, Saki has won.

"And another point for the sister," Akito cheered. He and Toya had witnessed a decent number of these sibling fights. There is a significant difference between the fights he and his sister would have, but they are entertaining because Tsukasa spends the majority of the time losing.

"Tsukasa-senpai, you should let us take care of you. It’s not bad to ask for help, you know." Tsukasa locked eyes with the three while Toya and Saki were staring at him with puppy dog eyes. Akito just stares naturally. He did agree with Toya; this guy should let himself go, even for a bit.

Tsukasa has a soft smile. He can’t help but feel so lucky to have so many people that care about him and will always be there for him no matter what, but that’s exactly why he feels like he’s pulling them back because they’ll drop everything to help him. He feels useless being treated like this.

Useless as a son, an older brother, and a senpai.

"I’m glad you guys cared so much. Truly I do and you three have done enough for me already, I promise.” Tsukasa is strong, maybe not physically, but he’s strong mentally. For the sake of his friends and family, he would try his best to survive even though it was painful.

Saki knows how he feels. She went through the painful process before, the feeling of being a burden and the desire to be normal. She knows it all (the way she’ll cry silently in the lonely hospital room, for a split second she wonders if Tsukasa also cried after masking all the pain in front of them.)

"Oh, I’m so sorry, but it’s almost time for our show at Weekend Garage,” Akito said, a bit guilty, especially because of Toya's disappointed realization too. "Oh," he said, biting his lip nervously. Tsukasa instead gave them an encouraging smile.

"Well then, don’t just sit around! You can’t disappoint your audience now! " Tsukasa made a shooing motion to the two of them. Akito looked slightly annoyed while Toya looked worried until he made eye contact with a determined-looking Saki.

"Well then, I leave the chief in the hands of you, commander Saki!" Toya looked so serious, Akito almost burst out laughing, while Saki looked equally as serious. "Roger that, Commander Toya! The chief is in good hands! " Tsukasa clapped enthusiastically at his two fans, who were playing the role of knights perfectly (at least to him).

"Go, commander toya! Show the audience the best performance you have ever made! I will be here waiting for you! " Toya and Saki both saluted Tsukasa (or chief), despite Akito's opinion that it was a little too dramatic.

Akito had to mentally restrain himself from dragging Toya away from his beloved senior, luckily they were able to walk out of the hospital without any dragging or kicking.

The door closed with a gentle click and Tsukasa stared at it with a distant look. "It must be nice... performing," he mumbled. Maybe he expected Saki to not hear it because of how quiet it was, but Saki heard it.

"Don’t worry, big brother! I know you’ll perform one day! " She once again grips his hand, Tsukasa's hand is warm, and that comforts her more than anything. Tsukasa gives his sister a gentle smile.

But he didn’t agree.
—✩—

It’s been a year. She’s been in this world for a year.

Well, technically she’s graduating from middle school soon to enter high school, the same school her childhood friends are entering.

This isn’t fair; she wishes every night, over and over, to fix this horrible mistake. She was supposed to be hospitalized with no way out, not Tsukasa! While she’s out there enjoying herself, Tsukasa is still stuck in that white wall prison. The smallest bit of hope of getting better seems to be lost.

She took the role he used to take, after school and weekend visits, making him smile by watching his shows, pampering him, and taking care of him the same way he did, but why? He still looked so sad no matter how much she tried. Why is she still so weak?

“There’s no difference between you from before and now” her reflection stared at her, both of them realizing that the person there is still a horrible sister. She looked down at her hands, which had become rough from playing piano from morning to night.

But that’s okay for her brother, who enjoyed her playing. He enjoyed her music the same way she enjoyed her shows and enjoyed his acting.

It happened four months after the switch (she counts every day) she recorded a song of herself playing honeymoon un Deux Trois because she never had the chance to practice as much as Tsukasa, but things have changed, and she wants Tsukasa to be the first to hear it.

"Saki, these sound beautiful!" His eyes sparkled. Usually, his cheeks are red from fever, but this time it was from how stretched out his cheeks are. He’s smiling. He’s happy.

Because of her music.

Is this how Tsukasa felt when he saw her smile at his shows? The smile of his dear sister, free from worry and dark thoughts, makes him determined enough to make her smile every single day, no matter what.

She understands now, that this is her role as Tsukasa Tenma's little sister.

She played and even started writing her own music, sending it through messages, or just outright giving her phone to him during visits; the way his whole form shines every time warms her heart, and he’ll repay her with a show that’ll leave her giddy and happy.

It had become a routine, a cruel one in her opinion because it never changed; the shows and music changed, but the scenario did not. She wished she could perform with her brother; perhaps they could play as Peter Pan and Wendy to a place where no sickness would ever befall them as they performed music and shows to the forest animals every day.

And here she is sitting beside Tsukasa's bedside with Ichika, Honami, and Shiho of course with their parents too, what’s the special occasion? On their graduation day, saki wanted to visit Tsukasa before going to a small get-together at ichika place but the three wanted to tag along so Tsukasa could congratulate them.

"Huaaaa you guys, congratulations!" Tsukasa let out a comical cry as he hugged Saki as tightly as he could. “I can't believe my little sister is so grown up now! I’m so proud!” Their parents chuckled at their children (Ichika, Honami, and Shiho are basically their children too at this point).

“Thanks, Tsukasa-Kun!” Honami put down the fruit basket they picked out earlier.

"He’s as lively as ever" Shiho scoffed at him, still sobbing dramatically but not putting Saki in a death grip, just squeezing her hands.

Despite that, she has a gentle smile watching the two (and maybe a bit of jealousy).

"We hope you liked the fruit! We picked the best in the market! " Ichika tries to match the energy in the room that is being radiated by the two Tenma's, but that’s impossible, but there’s no harm in trying.

The kids talked while the older Tenma's smiled to themselves. Finally, Saki's father cleared his throat. "Well, we have some good news for all of you too!" he said.

All eyes are on him now, as his mother stands up, jumping up and down on the balls of her feet, overjoyed with the news they have in store. Saki's heart skips a beat; is this what she thinks it is?

The two looked at each other and finally, with a small jump and jazz hands, they announced.

"Tsukasa, you're coming home tomorrow!"

At this moment Saki makes an oath not to mess it up again.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! I don't know why I added the jazz hands

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 3 of Showing off 88 ways