Chapter Text
With a satisfied sigh, Suigetsu held the sword up to the pale electric light. A job well done. He’d found the rusted blade in a storage cupboard, and despite having been in his collection for over a year, he'd found no time to clean it until now. The appalling state of the otherwise beautiful handiwork lurked as a nagging annoyance at the back of his mind, and even when he was set hard at work analysing data sets for hours in the lab, his thoughts would often wander to that sword, with its smooth wooden handle and the odd little carvings on the sheath.
It was Thursday, and for the first time that month, work ended early. Their schedule was tight: Orochimaru expected them to be ready by 6:30 am to check on all the experiments in the various incubators and tanks, take measurements, and write down results. The whole undertaking would take an hour and a half. This was followed by another check at 12:30 pm and one last one at 18:30. Any time in between was spent manually inputting collected data into the computer system, writing reports, analysing data sets, machine maintenance, and cleaning up any used equipment. In other words, they were doing the inevitable hard graft of boring upkeep that comes with working in the scientific field. Orochimaru, being an esteemed scientist, preferred not to waste his energy on such menial tasks, and left it to his three lab assistants.
At any rate, their chores were typically only done around eight in the evening. They made dinner according to the rota, and at that point none of them had much energy left to do any other activities, so Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo would more often than not get ready for bed immediately afterwards.
But on rare occasions, Orochimaru would dismiss everyone early. He never gave a reason why, he would only stride into the lab and say with his rasping voice, "You may stop for the day. Wash up the equipment and go."
This time Suigetsu certainly wasn't complaining. As he was rinsing out the burettes, his thoughts were only on that sword. The others had already left. Knowing this room contained no CCTV, he paced over to the cupboard where the non-hazardous chemicals were kept and removed a bottle of 0.5 mol/dm³ butanoic acid. Glassware was easy to steal; he grabbed a clean conical flask, decanted a decent amount of the acid into it, and stoppered the flask so he could stuff it into the pouch at his belt.
From behind there was a sound of a dry rasp against the tiles. Suigetsu's head whipped around, but there was nothing there.
A heavy, uneven breath escaped his chest. It must just have been his paranoia. He finished washing the last of the glassware, swept the floors as quickly as he could, and hurried out of the lab with a dry mouth and an erratic heartbeat.
The digital alarm clock on the bedside table read 17:48 when he returned to his room. It was strange having so much time on his hands. He pulled out his collection, which was held in a single scroll - small, but with powerful seals that allowed for a huge storage capacity. He unfurled it to the place where he kept his unfinished restoration projects and made the hand sign that would materialise the blade that consumed many of his idle thoughts. There it was: long, thin, and hopelessly rusted. But that was soon to change.
The rag from his maintenance kit was a dirty reddish brown colour and smelled faintly of lingering chemicals. He'd also stolen this at some point, though it was such petty theft he doubted anyone cared. Suigetsu wetted it with the stolen butanoic acid and rubbed each rust spot until the brown flecks dissolved and could be wiped off. It was slow, but satisfying work, and he found himself zoning out into a tranquil state where he felt no worries: there was only the sword, the rag, and the gradually disappearing rust. The satisfaction at his handiwork was a gentle one, not a feeling that had him grinning with excitement - just pure content.
It was a long time since he’d felt at peace, and he took a moment to savour it, twisting the sword, observing how it caught the light at every angle.
The peace, however, was short lived.
Out of nowhere Karin burst into his room. Suigetsu flinched and put the sword down.
"What are you up to? Playing with your toys again?" she said with a mocking lilt to her voice.
His lip curled in distaste. "That's none of your business. What do you want?"
Surprised at his unusually sharp tone, she said, "Sheesh, you're defensive tonight. Did I strike a nerve?"
"Piss off, I'm not in the mood for this. Just tell me what you want." He sheathed the sword and put it back in the scroll.
"Alright then, I will." She folded her arms. "Lord Orochimaru wants to see you."
Suigetsu's eyebrows furrowed. At once his thoughts turned to the stolen acid. Did he know? It was only then he realised the thing was in plain sight. Shit, he really didn't want Karin to see it. The probability of her snitching wasn’t 100%, but traces of the old prison warden mentality did remain, and being her former captive there was an element of trust Suigetsu could never give her.
She hadn't noticed the source of his anxiety yet; his best bet was to keep her attention elsewhere - keep her eyes from wandering.
"That's unusual. What does he want?" He stood up and took a step forward to make sure she was focusing on him.
Karin sighed. "Beats me. He wants you in his study by seven though, so you're gonna have to make dinner pretty soon unless you want to be late."
"I'd rather not. I think I'll pass."
Karin looked confused. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? You can't just pass-"
"What I mean is, it's your turn to cook tonight."
It took a moment for it to click. "Wait... no, that's bullshit. Thursdays are your days." She scowled. "Don't think I'm dumb enough to get tricked into doing more work than I have to."
"Technically it's my day, but then again I did take one for the team when I volunteered to clean the tank room last week." He crossed his arms, mirroring her pose, and said mockingly, "Don't think I'm dumb enough to let you forget. I'll be cashing in that favour now thanks."
He was surprised when she didn't argue.
"Oh, right." Her arms dropped. She adjusted her glasses, embarrassed, and cleared her throat. "That. Fine, I guess I do owe you one."
She turned to leave, but stopped halfway with a curious backwards glance.
"Hey, what were you doing with that thing earlier?"
He stiffened, tried not to think about the flask. "What do you mean?"
"The sword, you were holding it up and looking at it real weird. Is it special or something?"
A part of him was relieved, but his expression became guarded nonetheless. "What's it to you?"
"Hey! For once I'm genuinely interested in your stupid hobbies, and all of a sudden you're being prickly about it."
"Are you really interested, or just bored and here to pick a fight?"
She let out an irritated groan. "I swear I can never get you to shut up normally, so why won't you talk to me now?"
"Because I'm not in the mood to humour your insults," he said.
She fell silent.
"Fine then, I'll go."
Karin slunk out the door with quiet steps. Suigetsu felt bad. He closed his eyes, and could just about hear the click of her sandals against the concrete floor of the hideout. Oh for fuck’s sake - he couldn’t let her walk off thinking he was mad at her, so he stuck his head out the door and called out.
"Oi! Forgot to ask - what's for dinner?"
She stopped, and without turning around she laughed and said, "That joke's getting pretty old by now. Take a wild guess, idiot." She tucked a stray hair strand behind her ear before she took off again.
Certain she'd turned the corner, he went back to hide the acid flask in his collection scroll. The churning in his stomach stopped as soon as he did, and he flopped onto his bed with a deep exhale.
That was close.
But as he lay there trying not to think, that tendril of nausea began to creep up the back of his throat again.
What did Lord Orochimaru want from him?
He hauled himself out of bed, shook his ringing head, and made his way over to the communal bathroom. It wasn't anything special, but it had everything you could need: sink, toilet, shower, cabinet containing basic medication. Suigetsu splashed his face with water from the sink. Looked at his face in the mirror. Was he always this pale? To be fair, he hadn't been out in weeks. Or was it over a month now? Every day was a blur in his mind, just the same mundane tasks over and over. Work, eat, sleep, repeat. Living in an underground bunker, the only way to keep track of time was when the lights in the corridor turned off at 10 pm sharp. Other than that, he simply had to believe that the clock was telling the truth. He screwed up his eyes, hard in thought, trying to remember the last time he had been outside.
We're in the clearing two kilometres northeast of the hideout. It's a cloudy day and Juugo is picking mushrooms. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here, but I thought it would be good to get some fresh air, so I made an excuse to accompany him. Something about making sure he wouldn't rampage, though it was a pretty bullshit reason: he hasn't rampaged in months.
At least Lord Orochimaru has enough sense to let us out once in a while. He knows that if we're cooped up inside a snake's nest of concrete for too long, we'll go mad.
Juugo stands up suddenly, and a flurry of movement - songbirds - erupts from the folds of his cloak. They were nestling comfortably against his body for quite some time, but now they scatter to the winds, chirping in discontent. He looks at me with that blank expression of his and I can tell something's bothering him.
'You alright?" I ask.
He nods. Picks up the basket, overflowing with small brown mushrooms. "Is it just me, or has Log been gone a long time?"
I take a moment to plan my response. "Dunno. Maybe."
"What if he's dead?"
"Log?" I laugh. "I doubt it. He's been so well engineered I'm pretty sure he's physically unable to die. He's made with like every genetic sample salvaged from the old hideouts. That's gotta be worth something."
Juugo doesn't look convinced. To be perfectly honest, I'm not either, but I think it's what I'm meant to say. I don't want him to panic, because that might set off a chain reaction of emotional responses which could end badly for us both, if worst comes to worst.
He hasn't witnessed Lord Orochimaru's fits of rage - not yet at least. Karin and I are the ones who have to clean up the broken glass every time his furious outbursts compel him to fling test tubes against the walls of his study.
It's just as surprising to me each time I see it. I'm so used to thinking of him as this infallible creature - one with perfect control over his emotions, who can cover anything with that amused smile and sick glint in his unnaturally yellow eyes - but for each year I spend here I'm amazed more and more by the difficulty with which he controls his temper.
He hates not being in control more than anything. That's what sets him off - every time.
I hear an echo of him hissing at me to hurry up, while he leans on his desk with hunched shoulders that quiver in anger. And as I sweep up the shards I can hear him muttering under his breath: how he's going to kill that lab rat when he returns, and that if only he could leave the hideout he would go out there and find Log himself.
Juugo may be unaware of what's going on, but he's not oblivious to the tense atmosphere that’s been choking the hideout ever since Log disappeared. His intuition is telling him something's wrong, and though he's right, I don't want to be the person who tells him that.
That's not part of my job description.
"Come on, let's go back. It's about to rain," I say.
That much is true - I can feel the air getting thicker around me, and a distinct moisture clings to my skin as though it's trying to tell me something. Probably something like 'go inside', and my adult sensibilities urge me to listen, but something else, some deep instinct makes me want to lie in the dirt and let the cool rain melt into my skin, just like I used to when I was a kid.
The memory fizzled out like a piece of lithium in water, and Suigetsu was left staring at his reflection.
"I reckon you need some sunlight," he said with an ironic grin to that pale, sickly looking creature staring back at him. It grinned too, but didn't respond. He added, "I might try and bring the whole 'going outside more' thing up with the boss - broker some kind of deal you know, but that depends on the circumstances. After all, we could be in trouble."
Trouble, huh?
He towel dried his dripping face. Frowned. There was no way Orochimaru knew, right? And even if he did, stealing a small amount of a chemical for personal use wasn't that big of a deal… right? As far as Suigetsu was concerned, he’d contributed far more with his labour value than he was paid, so stealing from his employer was justified. He was just giving himself a tip.
That's right, a tip. Nothing wrong with that. Waiters got them all the time, so why shouldn't he?
He satisfied himself with that explanation. Still guilty about being mean to Karin earlier, he decided to make his way over to the kitchen and be sociable for a bit. That should cheer him up - then he wouldn't have to think about Orochimaru or Log or any of the other things that gnawed at his consciousness.
The half open door to the communal kitchen spilled warm light and a radiating heat into the cold stone passage, as well as the smell of freshly cooked broth that made Suigetsu realise just how hungry he actually was. Perhaps that explained the sinking pit that churned in his stomach, rather than apprehension at being busted for his little shoplifting spree. He smiled and grabbed the door handle with a joke ready on his lips, expecting the normal jovial atmosphere inside the kitchen - laughter and complaints about small things that weren't all that important in the grand scheme of things. The door swung open, and before he could deliver his carefully thought out punchline, he noticed something was wrong.
Karin stood by the stove, ladle frozen in hand, and Juugo sat resting his elbows against the table’s surface. Deep in thought, it took them a moment to even register his entrance.
When they did, they made no effort to hide their bothered expressions.
"Hey there," he said tentatively, "smells like dinner's ready, huh."
They both knew him well enough to recognise the question printed all over his face, and he knew them well enough not to ask: they would tell him when they were ready.
Karin unfroze, dipped the ladle into the pot of broth on the stove, and transferred a generous helping into a wooden bowl from the stack on the kitchen counter.
Her hands trembled when she handed it to him. "Log's back."
He looked down, didn't even reach for the bowl.
So after four months the lab rat decided to return.
Orochimaru was gonna want to interrogate Log first thing. And he would be furious, that much Suigetsu knew. From the shaky clatter the bowl made when Karin put it down, he could tell she was aware of this too. Had she already witnessed it?
He didn't want to ask. Didn't want to know the answer to that question.
So instead he murmured, "I see."
"I-" Karin began to say something, but trailed off. Suigetsu understood. He took a spoon out from the drawer by the sink, sat opposite Juugo, and began to eat.
Karin dished up for her and Juugo and seated herself as well. She raised a spoon of the steaming hot soup to her mouth, blew on it, frowned. Put it back down. "I'm not sure if he still wants to see you."
He pulled a face, both at her words and at the broth that burned his tongue, leaving it raw and stinging. "Figures. I'll scope the situation out before knocking."
"And... just be careful."
"I know."
They ate in silence and put their bowls in the sink once done. It was Juugo's turn to wash up, so he did that while the others lingered round the table, unwilling to speak but also not quite ready to leave.
Nobody said another word to each other that night. They figured it was safer that way.