Chapter Text
I’ve never given much thought to how I would die. I knew it would happen, of course, and I wished to go in my sleep. Peacefully. I guess dying for my loved ones is a pretty good way too. Too late to really care about that though.
~
Personally, I'm not a big fan of the ultra sunny crisp-your-ass off weather that you get when living in Arizona. Being sweaty is the worst and I’m not a big fan of brown rocks and cacti as my only scenery. It’s nice to see the blue sky all the time though. I stand outside drinking in the sun and wishing it farewell. Since Mom got remarried it’s been killing her to stay here with me when she wants to be traveling with …Phil? I think his name is Phil. So I’m heading to Forks, Washington where the grass is green and the trees are greener. It’s a literal kiddy pool of a town, so small I doubt the maps even show it. But my Mom is miserable and the weather will be more my style so I’m going.
“Are you sure about this honey?” Mom rubs my shoulder trying to convince me to stay.
“Yeah, it’ll be nice to spend some time with Charlie. Besides, I’ll be close enough for in-state tuition for some of those really nice colleges you were telling me about.”
“Just call me all the time, okay? Text me everything. And if you want to come home you can okay baby?”
“Yeah, Mom I know.” She pulls me in for a goodbye hug and I swear I can hear her sniffling in my shirt. I pull back and grab my suitcase. Time to face my decision.
~
The flight was fine and I got lucky that the person sitting next to me had canceled leaving their spot empty. I spot Charlie midst the other people waiting and head towards him. I’ve never seen much of my features in him. Except for the same brown hair, and brown eyes. Other than that I looked like my mother.
“Hey good to see you Bells.” He smiled and gave me a one-armed hug, which went as awkwardly as expected but I appreciated the gesture anyway.
“Yeah, it’s been a while. Mom says Hi.”
“How is she?”
“She’s been good. She and Phil are really happy.”
“I bet you want to get settled so uhm let's go.” He led the way to the police cruiser immediately reminding me of my desperate need to get a car cheap and soon. Or at least a job to save up for one.
The ride back to Charlie’s house was quiet but peaceful. I stared out the window drinking up the trees and the greenness of it. It was so different from the rocks and cacti. It’s been so long that I just forgot how pretty living plants were. Charlie’s house is small but comfortable. I think. It’s been a while since I lived here.
“So your room is mostly the same, you can change the stuff if you don’t like it. You still like purple right?”
“Yeah, purple’s great Dad.” I trudge up the stairs all the hours of travel catching up with me.
My room was almost exactly the same. I don’t really understand the purple question, maybe because the bedding was purple? Eh, I have bigger problems than deciphering the meaning behind people’s comments. I start to work shoving my clothes in the dresser and organizing the desk. I had just barely finished re-arranging the desktop when the loud roar of a truck interrupts my focus.
“Bells! Come downstairs!” Charlie shouts and I hear the front door open and shut.
I quickly go outside to be greeted by Charlie and two almost strangers in a beat-up old red truck. One is in a wheelchair and looks like he could impart some wisdom unto an apprentice. He commands the area around him the wrinkles on his face showing that he earned that through his years. His son I assume since they have the same flawless russet skin and ebony black hair and is tall even though he looks young enough to be a freshman. They were familiar which was probably due to the fact that I had probably known them back when I would visit Charlie in the summers.
“Bella, you remember Billy and Jacob Black right?”
“Oh yeah. Hello.” I awkwardly wave in their direction. Billy and Charlie break off into a conversation and leave me to talk with Jacob. I immediately feel my face start to heat up. I mentally prepare for the awkward conversation ahead and try to find some sort of question I could ask, comment on his truck maybe?
“Hey.” Jacob scratches his head. Hey? What do I respond to a hey with? “Do you like the truck?”
“Umm yeah, it looks like it could survive anything.” I chuckle a little but it only makes the interaction worse. I’d like to pass away. Just like drop dead. He lets out a small snicker, which alleviates some of the awkwardness.
“Well, it’s yours, actually. Charlie bought it off us as a gift.” Well, that solves the car problem.
“Cool. How does she run? That's a car thing right? All of them are girls?”
“Yeah. She runs okay just don’t try to go over 60 mph, or umm else.”
“That's not threatening at all.” I coat the sentence with sarcasm to be sure he gets it. I don’t know how socially inept he is.
“Heh.”
Billy finally says something about needing to get back to the reservation and drags Jacob with him. Thank goodness, I need to finish getting my stuff unpacked. I have school in a couple of days and I want to poke around town some before I have to go. Survey the vibes before plunging into the wasteland known as high school.
~
There’s literally next to nothing in this town. There are a couple of small shops but other than that zilch. Nada. Nothing. I mean it’s fine, but also not really. I can use it as an excuse to hang out with people later. Be all “oh this town is so little let's go on a shopping trip to some bigger town nearby”. I drove past the high school while on my way to find all of the major spots in this town so I wouldn’t be so clueless when I needed them later.
I take my little toiletry bag into the bathroom and start to brush my teeth. It was good to take the truck for a test drive before school to make sure she worked. I felt tiny in it though. Making my already skeletal frame even smaller and or freaky. I’ve always been small, or petite as people put it when they were trying to be nice. Not even the cute kind, where you made up for your short stature with big boobs/butt. I was not fortunate enough to have anything in those departments. Flat as a pancake kindly remarked by the boys my age during school.
I look into the mirror and wipe off what little makeup I bothered with today. Just mascara. Usually, I put some blush and lipgloss on to hide the lack of color I have naturally. I figured since my expedition into society today was mostly a scouting trip I didn’t have to try. As much as I dislike the pressure to be pretty and palatable, I didn’t mind wearing makeup sometimes or fashion. Finished with my nightly routine I grab my stuff and head back over to the bedroom I guess is mine now. I drop my toiletries on the desk and flop onto the bed. I hope tomorrow doesn’t rain. I want to walk in the forest a little. Maybe… I ….
~
I have school tomorrow. I’m screwed. I check again at my schedule hopelessly trying to memorize it but failing. I don’t have a map of the school, since they forgot to send one apparently. So I don’t know where any of the buildings are, and I’m starting in the middle of the semester, and I don’t know anyone, and and and. I feel myself beginning to spiral around and around. Usually, I had my mother to vent but now I don’t even have her. What am I doing?! This was a horrible idea. What would she say? Make a plan or something? Okay, fine a plan, I can do that, I like plans.
“Okay first. Umm, I get to school, twenty minutes early.” I write that down on a notepad. “Second, I go to the office which is by the parking lot. I ask them for a map of the school and spout some excuse of being directionless and new which is true. Then I go back to my car, map out the day, and head to first period which by then will be just on time. Perfect. Now all I got to do is follow the plan.”
~
I arrive in the parking lot twenty minutes early, park in a good spot, and head to the front office. I wore an outfit that was warm, cute, and comfortable. I needed to at least for the first day try to appear like I belonged and wasn’t a complete stranger. The office ladies smile warmly at me and don’t seem to have any issues with me off the bat. I walk up to the nearest one.
“Hello, can I have a map? It’s my first day and I’m sort of bad with directions so it helps to have a map.”
“Of course sweetie. Have a good first day honey!”
I turn to leave and wave over my shoulder at the office ladies. I should make them some cookies or something. They probably don’t get paid enough to deal with the crap they do. I open up the map when I’m safely in the truck. Should I name her? Hmmm… Gertrude. Yeah, that fits. A nice name too. Walking through my day on the map, I finally feel better and can shake off some of the wobbly feelings. Not all since my day is not over and won’t be for a while. I cross off all the things I’ve accomplished on the list. Mentally sighing at the amount still to do.
I get out of Gertrude and lock her doors. I press the lock button a couple of times just to make sure she’s locked. I head off in the direction of my first class walking at the pace of everyone else, though I’d love to speed through. Speed others you, slow down. They already can tell you are different, don’t add to it.
I continue in that fashion, walk to the next class, sit, try not to be weird, rinse and repeat. The only deviation was fourth period, before lunch. I sat down in my seat and immediately was put off by something. Like something wasn’t quite right. Sitting next to her was a small, pixie-like, gorgeous girl. Her brown hair seemed so soft and was cut in a pixie style, matching her pixielike appearance. Her eyes were golden, deep pools of warmth and light. But the longer she stared, she could tell that the “something” off about this class was her. No one seemed to want to stay anywhere near her. They all leaned away, but like sub-consicousally. Weird. The question is why. Why wpuld anyone want to put distance between themself and this magical girl?
“Hi.” She says and adjusts her papers. She had caught my eyes and quickly looked away. Crap. I can’t just blank face stare at people! What happened to be normal?!
“Umm hi. I’m new.”
“I could tell. My name’s Alice.” Like wonderland? Was she ripped out of a book? That would explain the beauty.
“I’m Bella, sorry for uhm staring. I uhm. You’re just gorgeous.” DID I REaLLY JUST!? AAAAAAAA!!
“Oh thank you.” She delicately folds her hands over each other on the desktop. “You have wonderful eyes.” She makes direct eye contact now like she’s admiring them.
“Thanks.” I felt my face heat up, coloring my cheeks and giving me more embarrassment. Seriously! Get a grip! I need to calm down. Chill, a compliment was expected because that’s how it goes. You give a compliment, they scramble to return one. It didn’t mean anything. Change the topic. Ask her something. Anything. “Where do you find such pretty clothes? I looked around town the other day and couldn’t find anything cute.”
“Oh! I go out of town to shop. I’m really into fashion and things like that.” Yay, a common interest! I can safely talk about clothes for a while without needing to be awkward.
“Really? Me too! I’ve been looking for a cute shop to get some warmer clothes. I moved from Arizona and my wardrobe is lacking.”
Alice launches into a rant about how the stores around here are so outdated, and her favorite stores for different things. Time flies and the bell rings for lunch. How can it be lunch already? It feels like it’s been five minutes! What am I going to do? Who am I going to sit with? Can I eat in the library? Alice has already stood up and gathered her stuff. She must have noticed my lost expression.
“Hey if you want you can have lunch with me and my family. They’ll be nice I swear.”
“ooOkay. Thanks.” I try to shake off the trembly feelings.
“Anytime. We’re practically besties now.”
“Yeah.” It’s nice to have a friend. I softly smile and quickly grab my stuff before heading out the door with Alice.