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KJ is a lot of things. A lot of disjointed, exquisite, extraordinary things.
She’s also irritating as hell.
At times Mac has to take breaks from being near the other girl-- from her warm smile and delicate touches; from her dark stare that constantly seems to waver a beat too long. It drives her insane.
Erin thinks she is being dramatic. Which is shit advice for a best friend to provide you, but then again Mac doesn’t believe she could offer up anything better. Tiff merely rolls her eyes as if Mac has missed the solution to a 2nd-grade addition problem.
Either way, as overbearing as KJ can be at times, Mac always finds herself on nights like this wishing she could barge into the other girls' house and demand they hang out this instant.
So that's precisely what she does.
The first pebble misses the second-floor window entirely, the following two strike their target with a sharp ping! And the final stone smacks KJ square in the face.
“Yowch!” The girl hisses, rubbing her forehead.
Mac winces, “Shit, sorry.”
“Mac? What the hell are you doing here?” KJ whisper shouts, bending out of her open window to examine her friend down below.
“What, can’t a girl drop by to give her good pal a visit?”
KJ rolls her eyes, “Not at this hour when my parents are sleeping!” She hesitates, the peeved look on her face shifting to concern, “Is your brother bothering you again?”
Mac shrugs, “Same as usual I guess.” It isn’t a total lie. Dylan had been a complete prick that day, but it wasn’t the reason she’d decided to come here.
KJ sighs, “Do you want to come inside and talk about it?”
Not really, Mac thinks, but she starts climbing the side of the Brandman estate nonetheless. It isn’t her first time scaling her way to KJ’s room, but it is the first time she's done it with her parents in the bedroom downstairs.
“You’re gonna wake up the whole neighborhood with your grunting.” KJ quells, reaching out to help drag Mac inside. Her dark hair descends in curls around her face as she bends down. It is not in its usual ponytail, and from the fruity aroma tickling Mac’s nostrils, she can tell the other girl must’ve just taken a shower.
“Those rich pricks could benefit from a little excitement in their lives, don't you think?” Mac remarks, stumbling a bit upon entering the space.
KJ reaches out to stabilize her, Mac tries her best not to notice the chapstick spread across her pink lips as she steps back from her. “Not if it means they tell my parents about a mysterious figure sneaking into their daughters' room.”
“Ooh so I’m mysterious now, I’ll have to add it to my list of reasons your parents detest me,” Mac remarks, shoving her hands into her jacket pockets.
“They don't detest you, Mac. They simply don’t approve of your language, that's all.”
Ok, so perhaps Mr. Brandman overheard Mac calling their house an overpriced lump of shit one time, but that still didn’t leave an adequate enough explanation as to why she was barely tolerated on her weekly visits.
“Whatever, can’t win them all, I suppose.” Mac huffs, flopping onto KJ’s bed without further invitation.
“You’re the worst,” KJ says with a smile, nudging Mac’s muddy boots off the edge of her mattress.
“I know,” Mac grins, “Now go finish getting ready for bed Karina. Mommy and Daddy dearest would flip their shit if they knew you were up this late.”
KJ wrinkles her nose, “Don’t call me that.” She opens her door, “I have to brush my teeth then I’ll be right back. Behave yourself.” Mac sends her a salute, and then she's alone.
There’s a Smiths song playing quietly from the record player across the room. Mac doesn’t really see the appeal. Morrissey sounds like Kermit the frog.
She scans scan around the bedroom she has been in so many times before. Film and music posters hang all over the walls. There's a promiscuous magazine cut-out of Madonna taped to the vanity mirror, and a Rocky Horror Picture Show poster KJ’s mother certainly disproves of is tacked above the bedside table.
Mac flips through a few of the records and tapes KJ keeps in a large heap in the corner of her room. It’s mostly stuff Mac would only listen to if the other girl was making her. Sparkly stuff such as ABBA or shit like New Order and The Cure (which isn’t as bad, Mac just likes complaining). She snorts to herself as she remembers the phase Erin and KJ went through freshman year where all they listened to was punk rock and new wave. KJ had gotten the ugliest mullet Mac ever had the misfortune of laying eyes on, and Erin had attempted to cut herself a death hawk that ended up looking more like a crooked comb-over with sideburns.
“See anything you like?” A soft voice asks.
Mac shakes her head, placing the tape in her hand back to the original spot, “Nah, you’ve got one too many Fleetwood Mac vinyls.”
KJ smirks, taking a seat on her bed and motioning for Mac to join her, “Come on, I know you love Stevie Nicks.”
“She’s ok I guess,” Mac grumbles sliding next to KJ.
“So,” she starts, “you still wanna tell me what happened with your brother today?”
Mac evades eye contact. KJ almost never addresses any of her family members by name, despite having met all of them. She doesn’t know why. Maybe as some power thing-- or as a way to distance Mac in her head away from the rest of the Coyle family. Mac doesn’t enjoy having her friends over for obvious reasons, but there were moments after school when the other girls had been around when she needed to stop by for something or other. Nothing had ever happened during those brief times, but after her friends left Mac's brother or father would always spout a racial remark about Erin or Tiff, or make some unsavory joke about KJ and ‘her people.’ Mac would never tell her friends about these things-- they were keen enough to put the pieces together themselves, but it was still safer to keep them as far away from the rest of the Coyle’s as possible.
“Like I said, it’s not anything new,” Mac repeats, “He called me a dyke and told me to stay the fuck out of his room because I wanted one of his tapes.”
KJ’s expression hardens at her words, “I’m really sorry Mac--”
She doesn’t let her finish, “It’s whatever, man. I’m used to it by now. The dude is in his twenties and is still stuck living with our old man. Turns out me surviving means he never grows out of his deadbeat phase. Plus it’s not like half the shit he says is even true. Just ‘cus I wear guy close doesn’t mean I’m like a perv or some shit.”
Mac doesn’t look at KJ as she speaks. She knows her words aren’t truthful. Deep down, Mac’s aware her brother is right. And she's pretty fucking sure if KJ found out there wouldn't be nights like this anymore.
KJ doesn’t speak for a while. When Mac finally looks at her, there’s a solemn expression on her face. Her nails pick at the skin on her opposite hand, a nervous habit she’s had since they were in middle school.
“Hey, you alright?” She asks, rolling over to face KJ.
“Yeah, just thinking.” She answers, smiling stiffly. Then, “You don’t-- you don’t really think being… queer is something perverted, do you?” She speaks the word like it frightens her.
“My old man says so. That everyone… like that is going to hell.” Mac responds flatly, attempting to level the shaking in her voice. I’m going to hell, rings through her thoughts. Fuck, after everything she’s been through, Mac doesn’t even know if she believes in that shit. But then again, if time travel is real, who’s to say eternal damnation for having a crush on your friend isn’t too?
“Your dad isn’t right about a lot of things,” KJ notes gradually.
“So what, you’re alright with that kind of thing then?” Mac demands, tone harsher than she intended.
“I don’t think we’re in any position to be judging someone based on who they love.” KJ states, blinking quickly.
Mac runs her teeth across her bottom lip, “You know twelve-year-old me would probably flip my shit on you for saying that.”
For the first time since they started the conversation, KJ meets Mac’s eyes, “What would seventeen-year-old you say?”
She lets out a wobbly breath, “That you’re probably right.”
“You think?” KJ asks genuinely.
“I mean, I’ve known you long enough to trust your judgment. You’re usually correct about most things. As long as I don’t end up a lesbo, I don’t really care what other people do with their lives.”
KJ lets out a breathy chuckle, “I’m sure you'll end up with a real hunk of a fella.”
Mac’s stomach turns. She smiles smugly, “That's right.”
“His name will be like, Steve or something.” KJ grins.
“Gag,” Mac blanches, sticking her finger in her mouth, “if I end up with a dick named Steve please lobotomize me.”
KJ releases a full belly laugh, but it’s cut short as she remembers her parents are still home. In a whispery voice that tickles Mac’s ears, she responds, “It’s a deal.”
“You’ll definitely end up with some rich dude that has like, fifty yachts.” Mac continues, hoping KJ can’t tell how nervous she is with how close their bodies are, “I’m actually surprised you don’t have a boyfriend yet. You know Danny Wilks is totally in love with you.”
KJ’s smile falters, “Danny is a total dunce,” she shuts her eyes briefly, “...I don’t think I’ll ever actually get married.”
“Honestly me neither. I can’t have my street cred getting ruined by turning into some lovesick sap.”
The corner of KJ’s lip quirks up, “We could be like-- eternal bachelorettes together. Y’know, run away from this town and just do whatever we want for the rest of our lives.”
“That sounds great…” And frankly, it does. Mac would go anywhere, do anything, if KJ asked her to, “but what about Tiff and Erin? They’d be pissed if we left them here.”
“Well, obviously they could come too,” KJ answers matter of fact, like they weren’t even excluded in the first place, “But if they get married they have to leave their husbands behind.”
“Oh, for sure.” Mac agrees.
KJ beams at her, and they fall into a peaceful silence.
Mac studies the other girl, noticing not for the first time how much they’ve both grown since the Hell Morning of ‘88. Mac has always been scrawny for her age while years of field hockey have turned KJ into solid muscle. Sometimes (all the time) she catches herself staring at the other girl, unable to keep from noticing the way her forearms flex as she scribbles on a piece of paper, or the way her legs move while she's pedaling on her bike. Even now the shorts she’s wearing are making it very hard for Mac to not get distracted. So instead she looks at her face.
When she does, she finds that the other girl is already watching her.
KJ has always been pretty. If asked, anyone in Stony Stream would no doubt agree. But seeing her now in the dim yellow light of the bedside lamp, Mac is fairly certain KJ is the most beautiful person she’s ever laid eyes on.
Uncharacteristically, KJ is the first one to look away. It causes a funny bubbly feeling in Mac’s stomach.
KJ shuffles awkwardly away from her, diverting her gaze up to the ceiling, to the door, to her vanity, all the while twisting her fingers together against the fabric of her nightshirt.
“I-- I can go if you want,” Mac says eventually, sensing whatever the fuck kind of tension there was between them.
KJ jerks her head around to face her, eyebrows raised so high they’re obscured by her crooked bangs. “What? No! I don’t want you to leave.” She says louder than needed, especially considering she should technically be asleep by now.
“R-really? You seem kind of… tense.” Mac motions towards her stiff shoulders.
KJ swallows and does that thing with her eyelashes where they kind of flutter when she’s anxious, “I want you to stay. Really.”
Mac can tell there’s something she isn’t saying. “Okay.”
KJ licks her lips, sitting up a bit against her pillow. “Just— you remember that night at the party…? Back in 1999? Er, well I guess technically it’s—“
“You mean the night you nearly shattered my nose? How could I forget?” Mac scoffs.
KJ makes a face, “Yeah… sorry about that, by the way.”
“Past is the past.” Mac says, “Or the future, I suppose.”
“Yeah,” KJ exhales, “Anyways, that night I uh, I saw future me and one of her— or my— friends.”
Mac nods, “You said before she looked happy.”
“She did.” KJ says, “But that’s what scared me the most, I think.”
She feels her eyebrows knit together, “Why would seeing yourself happy scare you? Are you two in some kind of maniac gang in the future? Because I wouldn’t be surprised considering—“
“I think I grow up to be a lesbian, Mac.” The words tumble out in one big heap, “I think I’m a lesbian right now.” KJ inhales sharply, “Actually I—I know I am. I’ve known for a long time.”
Mac stares at her for what feels like an eternity. Probably only a few seconds. She blinks. KJ is no longer looking at her, but rather up at a framed photo of her and her parents sitting on the desk opposite her. Something like fear flickers in her brown eyes. Mac can’t even imagine what her expression must be right now. It takes her a moment to realize she’s been gawking at KJ with her mouth slightly ajar for what is definitely longer than what’s acceptable for a situation like this.
“Oh.” Is the only thing she manages to get out. She’s a little dizzy.
KJ makes a noise somewhere between clearing her throat and a nervous squeak. Her arms are crossed over her chest. Legs curled close to her body as if she were scared of making contact with Mac lest her skin catch on fire. “Yeah.” She laughs nervously, “Honestly before the whole time travel thing I kinda knew there was something wrong with me, but then at the uh-- that party you know, I saw older me and that ‘friend’ kiss— a lot actually they did it a lot— and I kinda freaked but you know it made a lot of sense and--”
“Good Lord Kaje, slow the fuck down!” Mac exclaims. Thoughts whirling like a spinning top.
“Sorry, sorry.” KJ croaks. She’s staring strangely at Mac, her eyes wildly scanning her face for any sign of disgust or anger or whatever else KJ is worried she might find.
Mac’s mouth feels dry as the Sahara Desert, “What do you mean it made sense?” A silly question, but she hasn’t had enough time to process the words KJ has just spoken in order to form a thoughtful response.
A quiet piece of Mac has always known she wasn’t straight. At first, it stemmed from Dylan always calling her some form of queer, then later on it shifted to the children at school. Mac never believed any of it, never even considered the fact they may all have been right until she met KJ. Even when they butted heads those first few weeks of knowing each other, there had always been something so magnetizing about being around the other girl. It had been as if she craved her attention, so in order to get it, Mac would purposefully antagonize her. Because it’s so much easier to be cruel than to address the way her heart never seemed to stop fluttering around KJ. Mac never had any interest in boys, and the reason for that became abundantly clear any time KJ would touch her arm and Mac would simply melt.
She can’t imagine what it must have been like for KJ to have everything ripped out of her like that. It took Mac years to figure out who she really is, and even now she isn’t so sure.
Sometimes you gotta look a little deeper and it’s all just really confusing. Is this what KJ meant when she spoke those words all those years ago?
KJ’s shoulders are like wooden boards. She wrinkles her nose almost indignantly, “I-- I’ve had crushes on, on girls before.”
Mac is going to explode.
The realization of the things KJ is saying finally hits her like a tidal wave.
There's a pause before she whispers, “You mean like… multiple?”
“Well… yeah kind of,” KJ fiddles with the silver chain hanging from her throat, “Most of them are small. But, uh, some are kind of… some of them last a lot longer.”
“How long?” Mac asks softly.
KJ turns to her, but her gaze isn’t focused on Mac’s face, “Too long.”
Before she can stop herself, “Do you have one right now?”
“Does it really matter?” KJ huffs, sitting up against her bedframe. Her tone is defensive.
“I guess not,” Mac says, mimicking KJ’s movement, “I can’t believe you’ve known for like four years and haven't said anything.”
KJ arches her eyebrows, “Well it’s not like I could! How was I supposed to know you guys would even be okay with it? Especially you. In case you’ve forgotten, you weren’t exactly the most open-minded person when we first met.”
Suddenly Mac thinks she may have crossed a line she wasn't aware had existed until now. Regret erupts through her chest. Years’ worth of memories filled with bigoted comments on her part flood her brain. Jesus Christ, I’m a dick.
“I don’t think that way anymore.” She admits timidly.
KJ sighs, eyelids fluttering closed as she rests her head on the wall, “I know, Mac.”
“And you know we’re good right?” Mac continues. KJ tilts her head at her expectantly, blinking open at her curiously, “I don’t think you’re a freak or whatever. I mean-- I do but not because you wanna suck face with chicks.”
“Shut up,” KJ giggles, pushing her friend away playfully. There’s a dusting of pink across her cheeks. Mac can’t stop the smile forming on her face.
The pair sit for a while, not saying anything. How is Mac supposed to make conversation when KJ Brandman just came out as a lesbian? How is she supposed to do anything but sit in shock over the fact KJ has known since the first week they met each other?
“So is it one of your private school friends?” Mac inquires, already knowing the answer before she asks it.
KJ frowns, “No, I don’t have any--”
“Someone from your team?” She asks again. The image of KJ drooling over some buff hockey babe pops up in her brain, and for a moment Mac feels a stab of jealousy over someone she made up.
“No,” KJ repeats.
“So the big one must be one of us paper girls then,” Mac says, trying to gauge KJ’s reaction from her peripheral.
KJ’s face is impossibly red.
“Oh my God, is it Tiffany?” Mac gasps, “You know her boyfriend in the future did seem kind of girly, maybe she is--”
“Mac can we please not do this right now--”
But she can’t stop. She has to know.
“Is it Erin?” KJ’s familiar spark of anger flashes across her face. The girl may look sweet as a cupcake, but Mac has known her long enough and is well aware she’s quick to flip her temper. She’s starting to think KJ might give her another wack to the face.
“What the fuck, no! It’s not Erin.” She spits, jaw jutting out.
“Jeez alright.” Mac relents.
KJ exhales long and slow. Her head falling to her knees. Where her ears are poking out from a mane of loose curls, Mac sees they’re tinged with pink. Neither of them speaks, but both of them are painfully aware of the only person left as a possible answer.
“Kaje…” Mac begins.
“Please don’t guess again.” She practically begs. Mac swallows. She has her trapped.
“... Is it me?”
Mac knows the answer before KJ says a word. Not because she’s the only option left, but because of the way her friend's chest heaves as her head shoots up from her lap to stare at Mac. She knows from the way her mouth opens and closes, choking on words she can’t get out.
KJ mumbles something along the lines of This is so fucking stupid, before running a pair of wobbly hands up her arms in a sort of self-soothing motion. She rocks back and forth a little, then in a strained voice blurts, “Can we just go to bed now?”
“Kaje I--” Mac reaches out in an attempt to comfort her, but the other girl moves backward with such force she almost tumbles off the bed.
KJ looks as if she's about ready to sprint out of the bedroom, and that’s all the motivation Mac needs to scrunch her eyes shut and rush--
“I’ve had a crush on you since we were thirteen.” The sound of blood rushing to her ears tells Mac enough about what shade of red her skin must be. Beside her, KJ’s side of the bed goes stone still. She can tell KJ is staring at her, she’s always been able to tell. KJ has a way of looking at you so strong it’s hard to breathe sometimes… or maybe that’s only Mac.
“You— you what?” KJ asks eventually, voice shrill.
“Don’t make me say it again dumbass.” Mac growls, squeezing her fists together.
“What the fuck?” KJ laughs breathlessly. She twists her fingers in her shirt so tightly Mac worries it might tear. She risks glancing at KJ’s face, but the girl is no longer staring at her. She’s not really looking at anything really, but Mac sees the gears in her brain turning. There’s a sort of hysterical smile threatening her lips.
“You’re joking, right?” KJ demands, facing Mac.
“What, you don’t believe me?” Mac asks in disbelief.
She shakes her head, “But, I thought you said you weren’t—“
“I fucking lied Kaje, obviously.” Mac shakes her head. Sometimes KJ can be so stupid. “I don’t really scream heterosexual do I? Christ KJ, look at me.” She gestures to her clothes. Yeah, not all girls who wear masculine clothes are gay, whatever, Mac gets the point. But it shouldn’t really come as any surprise that she is.
“You don’t think I have been?” KJ says it like a joke, but the way her eyes flick up and down Mac’s body three goddamn times tells a different story.
If cancer doesn’t kill her, the heart attack KJ has just inflicted on her definitely might. This is exactly the kind of scenario where Mac would need to take a break from being around KJ. To take a lap around the whole neighborhood. Fuck, she could take fifty laps right now if KJ’s stare wasnt freezing her to this spot. She really needs a glass of water and a pack of cigarettes. Multiple packs.
“You have hot arms.” She says quickly. It’s the only response Mac can muster. “And legs.”
KJ’s eyes grow wider, “I beg your pardon?”
“Why do you think I go to all your hockey games, doofus?” Mac snaps covering her face with her hands. Apparently being around KJ makes it impossible not to say the most embarrassing shit she possibly could.
“Oh my God, you actually do have a crush on me.” KJ says. Her voice is giddy, “I thought you were being nice by going to all those.”
“Why would I waste five bucks for a ticket every weekend if I was just being nice?” Mac snorts, removing her hands from her face.
KJ is staring at her so intently. Lips quirked up into a disbelieving smile, eyebrows raised expectantly. She was no longer trying to keep distance between them, instead leaning forward with such a fond expression Mac feels as though she might melt through the mattress and onto the floor.
“Quit looking at me like that.” She mumbles. She doesn’t turn her head away from KJ though.
“But I like looking at you.” KJ says simply, tilting her head like a puppy. “I can’t believe you really like me.”
“Uhg, you’re so annoying.” Mac groans, shoving the other girl away. (I’m actually in love with you).
“Hey!” KJ chuckles (I’m in love with you too), giving Mac a push of her own, “You’re the annoying one.”
“Oh it’s on, Brandman.” Mac jabs KJ in the side, earning a soft yelp from the other girl as she attempts to stifle her laughter.
Mac attempts to tickle her again, but KJ is prepared this time. She reaches out and grabs onto Mac’s arm. She’s a lot stronger than her, which makes it very easy to pin her down and taze Mac’s rib cage, causing a bubble of giggles. KJ immediately places her hand over Mac’s mouth.
“We’re gonna wake up my parents.” She shushes. Her breath on Mac’s neck causes a full body shiver. She drags her hand away from her mouth. Fingertips lingering a millisecond second too long.
Then they’re staring at each other. Everything else— the room, the fact KJ’s parents are merely a floor away, all her worries about family and the future— everything falls away until the only thing on Mac’s mind is her.
For some reason, the memory of her and KJ sitting together on Mac’s thirteenth birthday pops into her head. KJ had given her orange juice. She said she wanted her to start being healthy. She told Mac she didn’t want her to die or waste what little time she had left. The look KJ had given her then was the same as the one she’s giving her now. A mix of fascination and longing.
I think you’re worth a shit.
KJ’s hooded eyes drift from staring into Mac’s, down to her nose, before finally landing on her mouth and staying there. Before Mac has the chance to react, KJ is leaning down, closing the space between them.
Her lips shake as she presses them against Mac’s mouth. The skin around them is kind of sweaty, which would be gross if it wasn’t KJ fucking Brandman. It’s also the most crooked kiss ever, and their noses are bumping together awkwardly.
It’s perfect.
KJ pulls back after a few seconds. Mac misses the feeling immediately.
KJ blinks, and then a wide smile breaks through her expression like the sun on a cloudy day. She opens her mouth and no doubt says something dumb, but Mac is so distracted by the pretty blush on her cheeks and the way her gaze keeps flicking to her mouth that she doesn’t hear a thing.
Before she can think better about it, Mac cups the curve of KJ’s jawline and pulls her in for another kiss. It’s a tad desperate, but fuck so is Mac.
KJ responds to the kiss with a noise that lands between a giggle and a softer sound Mac has never heard before, but decides she likes very much.
This kiss is much longer. Less messy but still clumsy considering neither girls have ever done this before. KJ is clutching onto Mac’s shoulders as if they’re the only thing stabilizing her. Mac is so lightheaded she’s surprised any coherent thoughts are able to form— though admittedly at this point the only thing she can actually focus on is KJ practically making out with her.
Mac pants into the other girl's mouth, pressing her forehead onto KJ’s as she kisses her harder. She isn’t sure how long they go on like this, but eventually the small gasps of air they get between kissing isn’t enough, and they both pull away for good.
“Holy shit,” KJ gasps, eyelids droopy and wrinkled by a lopsided grin. Her lips are swollen and pink. Mac wants to kiss them again, but holds back to get her own bearings.
“Yeah, holy shit.” Mac inhales dreamily.
“I get why future me was so smiley now,” KJ chuckles a bit out of breath. Her hands fall away from Mac’s shoulders, and down to her knees. The skin there burns with the contact despite being beneath a layer of denim. KJ rubs soothing circles with her thumbs. Whether it’s supposed to calm Mac or herself, she isn’t sure.
Mac is about to joke about the possibility of KJ leaving her for whoever her future girlfriend is in ‘99, but considering the way she’s looking at her now, pupils blown and loving, Mac decides it’s something she won’t have to worry about anytime soon.
“You’re a dork, you know that?” Mac says, taking each of KJ’s hands into her own.
“Yeah but now I know you’re into it, so it’s only gonna get worse from here,” KJ teases. God, she’s so lovely.
Mac shrugs, “Guess so.” And normally she’d give some snarky comeback, but right now all she wants to do is sleep… and maybe cuddle with KJ too but mostly sleep.
After attempting to hold back a yawn, KJ clocks her exhausted demeanor.
“Do you wanna borrow some pajamas? Sleeping in jeans can’t be comfortable.”
Normally, Mac would decline her offer. Sleeping in KJ’s oversized clothing does sound nice however, especially if they smell like her. So she says yes, and KJ gives her a night shirt and some fluffy pink pants (she told Mac she looked cute in them so of course she wears them even though they’re horrendous).
After the lights are out and the two of them are tucked into bed, KJ whispers, “I still can’t believe tonight is real. It feels like a dream or something.”
“You dream about me?” Mac teases. Her heart skips a beat at the idea though.
KJ (who’s already taken position as the big spoon) nestles closer to Mac, tucking her head into the crook of her neck, “Would it be creepy if I said yes?”
Yet again, Mac’s chest is like a million fireworks, “No… I dream about you too.” She can feel KJ smile into her skin. “You’re my favorite person.”
KJ presses a gentle kiss to Mac’s cheek, “You’re my favorite person too.”
Mac falls asleep that night feeling happier than she ever has in her whole life.
***
When the warm morning sunlight wakes her the next day, she finds herself tangled beneath KJ’s long limbs. There’s a brief moment where Mac isn’t sure how she got here, but as soon as the memories of last night reappear in her head, she gets very sweaty very quickly.
It appears to be rather early, and the fact KJ is still sleeping (and snoring very loudly) on top of her, tells Mac that her parents have yet to find her in their daughter's room.
I wonder what they’d think if they found us like this. KJ doesn’t have the best relationship with her parents. She doesn’t talk about them very often, but Mac has gathered enough context clues to decide they’re too caught up in what Stony Stream thinks of their family to care about the things that make their daughter happy.
“Kaje,” Mac nudges her shoulder, “KJ you got me in a death grip. I’ve gotta get going.”
The girl mumbles something in her sleep, but rather than move away, she tucks her face deeper into Mac’s shoulder. It makes her heart beat so fast she’s surprised it hasn’t awoken KJ yet.
“Come on man,” Mac chuckles lightly, “you’re gonna get us caught if you keep me here any longer.”
With her eyes still closed, KJ grins groggily, “I don’t want you to go yet.” Her voice is deep with sleep, and a bit raspy. It’s almost enough to convince Mac to stay.
“I know, but I gotta,” Mac repeats, playing with a strand of KJ’s hair.
“Only if you wear those pajamas home.” KJ says, finally opening her eyes.
Mac groans, “Whatever, weirdo. I’ll see you later today alright? We’re hanging with Tiff and Erin, remember?”
KJ nods, sluggishly removing herself from Mac with a reluctant frown.
Mac climbs out of bed and begins gathering her belongings. She’s about to say her goodbyes and exit KJ’s room the way she came in, when the girl herself hops out and walks over to her.
“You forgot something.” KJ points out in a sing-songy voice, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet.
Mac wrinkles her nose, “Huh?”
Then KJ is bending down to peck Mac on the lips, and everything inside her turns to jelly.
“See you later.” KJ says sweetly as she pulls away, sending her a pair of awkward finger guns.
Mac exhales wistfully (she’s in love with a total nerd), “Yeah, see you.”
She doesn’t end up going home for a while that morning. Instead she rides her bike through town, still dressed in KJ’s fuzzy pink pants, with the realization that this is real crashing down on her over and over. Mac is alive, she’s happy. And for the first time ever it feels as if she’s earned it. KJ loves her, and Mac loves KJ. And if the world somehow ended right now (or the time war rolls around again or her luck runs out) she thinks she could die happy in this moment with no regrets.
***
(Tiff and Erin clock the two of them immediately when the four paper girls meet up at the park that evening. It’s not like they even tried to hide it. Mac couldn’t seem to remove herself from KJ’s side, and KJ couldn’t seem to stop looking at Mac like she hung the sun and the moon and all the stars in the sky. Tiff calls it obnoxious, Erin says it’s not much of a change. Mac pays them no mind. Life is good.)