Chapter Text
“Turtle Tank? Did you let your Mikey name it?”
Donnie scoffed. “Like Shellraiser is any better.”
Donnie inspected the side. “And I take it the sides here split apart to form two–”
“Cycles, yeah. I call ‘em the Shell Hogs”
“Nice work. The Shellraiser’s got a stealth bike for Raph, but only the one.”
“Couldn’t help but notice it’s uglier too.”
Donnie rolled his eyes. “You do what you can when you live in the sewer.”
“It’s not like I don’t live in the sewers too. Although, I do suppose, the ability to leave whenever I want and travel to places of commerce and industry to buy parts or steal from the Repo Mantis without being caught is a benefit you all, apparently, don’t have.”
“Repo Mantis?” Donnie pulled off his goggles to let them sit atop his head and looked at his counterpart. “Now, surely that one was Mikey.”
“You know, he actually named himself that. I find it so weird that you and your brothers seemed to have a direct role in interacting with or directly creating every mutant in your town.”
“And I find it weird that there’s an entire city of yokai where you and your brothers don’t look out of place and you all don’t pack up and live there instead of the sewers.”
Donnie shrugged. “New York is our home. We grew up here. Plus, there’s a lot of mystic stuff in the Hidden City, and you know Donnie D isn’t about that.”
“Speaking of which, switch goggles with me. I want to see if your… mystic whatever will work on a transdimensional body such as mine.”
Donnie obliged. “I gotta say, for a turtle whose world apparently doesn’t include mystics and magic and such, you’re remarkably cool with the whole other dimension turtles thing.”
“We’ve met ourselves before, a few versions.” Donnie tapped the red and blue lenses. “Wow, the craftsmanship on these is outstanding.”
“Hey, hey, hey, don’t smudge my lenses.”
“Relax, your goggles will be fine. And you said they can show mystic energies?”
“Of course.”
“Care to demonstrate?”
“Sure.” Donnie leaned back and yowled down the hall “April!”
“What?” She yelled back.
“Come here!”
“Just a second!”
Approximately fifty-six seconds later, both Aprils popped their heads in the doorway.
“What do you need, Donnie?” April asked, at the same time as April said “What’s up, D?”
“Can you bring me Mayhem?”
“You called me all the way in here just for that? He’s in the kitchen, why don’t you get him yourself?” April put her hands on her hips.
“I’m clearly very busy.” Donnie gestured towards his counterpart. “Someone’s gotta keep this crazy maniac out of trouble.”
April rolled her eyes. “I say yes to you way too often. Stay here a sec, ‘kay April?”
“Sure thing.” April smiled at the Donnies as April walked back towards the kitchen. “So, what kind of trouble are you two getting yourselves into?”
“We’ve just been comparing the craftsmanship of our vehicles,” Donnie said.
April laughed. “Sounds about right. Nice goggles by the way, Donnie. Or, I guess I should say, Donnie 1? My Donnie, anyway.”
Donnie’s face turned bright red, in a way Donnie wasn’t sure turtles should be capable of, and he spluttered aimlessly for a second. Donnie rolled his eyes and was very grateful when April entered a second later carrying Mayhem, who teleported into Donnie’s open arms at the sight of him.
“Here he is.”
“Alright, take a look at him through the enhanced goggles.”
Donnie didn’t respond except to keep gazing dreamily at April until Donnie snapped in front of his face and he shook his head, pulling the goggles down over his eyes. “Oh! I see. Fascinating. And it does this for all mystic enhanced items?”
“As far as I know, yes. If anything mystic has touched or influenced the object at all, these babies will pick up on it.” Donnie grabbed his goggles off his counterpart’s head. “It’s saved our shells a number of times.”
“According to you, though, your version of mutagen–”
“The stuff that’s in the oozesquitos, yes.”
“--comes from your Baron Draxum–”
“Or as Mikey calls him, Dad 2.”
“--who is a yokai, a being of magic, who created the ooze-whatevers–”
“Oozesquitos.”
“Using a combination of science, alchemy, and magic, yes? So in a way, shouldn’t all you mutants be considered inherently mystic as well?”
Donnie opened his mouth, and then closed it again without saying anything.
“Wow. I’ve never seen anybody shut Donnie up before,” April said from her spot leaned against the doorway and April laughed. “Maybe we’ll have to keep you around.”
“I’ll have you know that I am not stumped, no ma’am, I am simply postulating–”
“Yeah, whatever. Come on April, we should get back to the Caseys before they kill each other.”
April waved at the Donnies goodnaturedly before following her counterpart back down the hallway. Mayhem poofed away to follow them a second later.
“So there you have it,” Donnie said, snapping his goggles back on his head. “Do you have any– oh, brother.”
Donnie stayed staring at the spot April had just left. “Did you hear that? She called me ‘her’ Donnie.”
“I mean it makes sense. You are the Donnie from ‘her’ dimension.”
“Her Donnie…”
Donnie shuddered. “It’s so creepy, this… thing you have for her.”
Donnie crossed his arms defensively. “It’s not creepy. I might be a mutant, but I’m a sentient being of the same age and maturity level. If things had been different– if I had been mutated from a mammal, perhaps, or something that would have anthropomorphized into a more acceptable appearance, you wouldn’t still be saying I’m creepy.”
“I don’t care about that. It’s just that my April is like my sister. She’s part of the family and always has been.”
“Our April is part of the family too.”
“Yeah, but in a more possessive way. You’re like, super possessive over her, bro. It’s a little off putting just my opinion please don’t hurt me.”
Donnie squinted at his counterpart. “Well, maybe I am a little protective, but it makes sense. You know how many times she’s been in danger?”
“Look, buddy, all I’m saying is maybe ease off a little. She clearly likes hanging out with you, but if you keep being so…” Donnie thought his words through carefully, and landed on “like this, you’re going to smother her. Nobody likes a smotherer.”
“I’m not smothering her. I just like being around her. She makes me feel normal.”
Donnie raised an eyebrow. “Normal?”
“Well, not like a giant freak for being interested in science and things. I mean, she gets to go to school, and learn new techniques from experts I’ve had to discover myself through years of trial and error alone in my lab. She gets to make friends that are into the same stuff she is and not wait to see if maybe one of them gets mutated or kidnapped or something so I can actually approach them. She gets to see the world during the day, go to the library, see the sun.”
Donnie scooched his lab chair closer to his counterpart and pressed his hands together. “Look, I’ll admit my knowledge of neuropsychology is more tuned towards the opening brains up and messing around mad scientist style and less towards the psychoanalytic, feel-good side– that’s Mikey’s area– but have you considered that you have terribly low self-esteem about being a mutant and are using this crush on April to mask your deep rooted desire to be a human that’s based in self-loathing?”
Donnie’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head. “Well– I mean– first– where do you get off saying that– because– it’s not–”
“Take your time.”
Finally, after much fumfering, Donnie sighed. “Maybe you have a bit of a point. My brothers don’t understand my interests, and I have nobody to share them with. Maybe my jealousy of Casey isn’t that April likes him– although he’s also a no-good reckless punk incapable of rational thought– but that he gets to be human, up on the surface, and I don’t. He could go with her to a museum and nobody would scream or call the authorities. What am I that any human scientist wouldn’t be better at? If I could be human– I thought about that, a lot, while making the antigen. On my brothers and I, of course, it’d just make us regular turtles again, but if I could find a compound close to our original mutagen that could enhance the anthropomorphizing process… then maybe…”
Donnie scratched his head self-consciously. “Look, man, I’m not so good with the emotions, or the touchy feely– maybe you talk to your brothers about this?”
“They wouldn’t get it. For them, being a turtle is great. They get to learn ninjutsu and skateboard and play video games and I like that stuff too, but–”
“But isn’t it rewarding when you make something incredible for them and they’re like ‘Oh Donnie, you’re fantastic, this is the best, you’re awesome’?”
Donnie chuckled humorlessly. “Those aren’t my brothers. With my brothers it’s more like ‘Hurry up and finish the mutagen’ or ‘Why didn’t you tell me there was a forcefield?’ or ‘Defuse the bomb faster, Donnie’.”
Donnie threw an arm around his counterpart's shoulders. “They really treat you that way? From the stories you all tell, they could not have defeated any of their villains without you, any step of the way. And aren’t you like, the medical guy too?”
“They don't see it that way. I’m like a resource to them. They don’t understand all the work that goes into doing all the things I do, so they don’t appreciate it. I mean,” said Donnie, “I can basically count on my fingers the number of times my brothers have told me I did a good job, and that’s not saying much because I only have six!”
“Listen, man, again, I am the wrong turtle to be telling this to. I’m not good with the feels. But if Mikey were here instead, he’d surely say ‘maybe you should tell your brothers you feel this way. Maybe they just don’t know that you feel like this’ So, that’s what I’ve got for you.”
“But it’s not like I mind making vehicles and compounds and such for them. Plus, they’d just call me a softie.”
“So?” Donnie’s arm around Donnie’s shoulders tensed.
“So, I don’t want to be a softie.”
Donnie pulled his arm away and sighed. He looked towards the open hallway and with a touch of his bo staff his door slid shut. “Can I show you something?”
Donnie looked a little startled. “Sure. Is it a secret?”
“No, everyone knows. I just don’t like to show it much.” With the press of another bo button, Donnie’s purple shell armor came off and hovered nearby.
“Woah, how did you–”
“All my tech is linked and communicates with a microwave transceiver using class C encryption protocols– and yes, you can be impressed, amazed, in shock, and in my eternal gratitude for gracing you with my presence and company later. But that’s not the point right now.” Donnie breathed in, and turned around. “This is.”
“Oh.” Donnie reached out his hand. “May I?”
“Sure.”
Donnie pressed his hand against Donnie’s shell. “But your brothers–”
“We’re all different kinds.”
“I suspected, since your Raph is so much larger than the rest of you. But to be a softshell–”
Donnie flinched.
“Sorry. Do you know what kind?”
“Spiny.”
Donnie pulled his hand away and with a touch to his goggles, Donnie’s armor popped back on.
“That stupid shell is why I built all this tech in the first place. When we were small and we’d roughhouse, they’d always have to be more careful with me. I’m fragile. I’m a softie, by design.”
“But you didn’t choose to be… that kind of turtle. You just are.”
Donnie shrugged nonchalantly, emotionlessly, as if it’s no big deal and as if he didn’t care at all. It didn’t work on Donnie. “It doesn’t matter. I’m still different. And so are you. But my brothers get it. And even before I had my tech and they had to go easy on me, they still loved me and included me. And if I lose my tech armor, they have my back– literally– until I can get it back. It sounds like your brothers aren’t showing up for you in the same way.”
“It’s different though, for me. There’s no reason I shouldn’t be stronger, less sensitive about these things, happy about being a turtle.”
“Who cares? The fact is that you’re not, and if they’re your brothers and they love you, they should be there. You should talk to them. Maybe go to your Raph–”
Donnie laughed. “Raph? No way, if I told him, he’d tell me to toughen up and kick my shell all the way to Jersey.”
“Oh, right, your Raph is insane. Well, insane in a different way than my Raph. Your Leo, then, maybe. About how you’ve been feeling.”
Donnie winced. “But won’t that be awkward?”
“All feelings are uncomfortable! I feel like I’m going to throw up right now! But you won’t feel better if you don’t and incessant self-hatred is probably not so good.”
“But–”
“Look, you’re a turtle of science, aren’t you? If you won’t talk to him because it’ll make you feel better, talk to him because if you don’t you might feel worse due to higher blood pressure, a weakened immune system, insomnia, or even heart disease caused by the combination of high cortisol and low blood flow. So…” Donnie said, rolling his eyes towards his counterpart, “talking to him would actually be making you a better fighter.”
“You know, that would’ve been more persuasive if you hadn’t sounded so sarcastic the entire time.”
“I am incapable of sounding sincere, but I assure you, with all the genuinity I am capable of, I mean it when I say I think this would really help you,” said Donnie , sounding entirely sarcastic.
“Alright, alright. I’ll consider it. Maybe I’ll make a flowchart, to ease understanding.”
“Uh huh.”
“You know, when we first landed here, we assumed you were like our other alternate dimension counterparts– goofy, bad at fighting, kinda weird. But I gotta say, you all have a really good relationship with each other. The only one of us capable of talking about feelings is Mikey, and we all blow him off whenever he does.”
Donnie shrugged. “I have six theories for why that might be the case, based off my initial glances of you and your brothers.”
“In a way, I envy you.”
Donnie scoffed. “Really? The ninja supreme, with the brains and brawn to conquer any villain, envies my layabout brothers and I?”
“I’m not the–”
“You kind of are. Even if what you say is true and you are the weakest fighter of the four of you, you’d still beat any of us in a heartbeat. Plus you’ve got all this tech skill and biochemical engineering mojo, and your inventions work–”
“Well–”
“I mean, I’m totally jealous of you! I can’t even shoot a basketball and my connection to the mystic is garbage. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my vehicles–” Donnie paused to take a deep breath. “Sorry, sorry. I’m working on it. Positive thoughts.”
Donnie put his hand on his counterpart’s shoulder. “Maybe we’re more alike than I thought.”
“That’s not comforting.”
Donnie drew his hand back and put it to his chin. “You know, being… the kind of turtle you are could have its advantages. Due to the flexibility of your shell, you could improve your agility and speed astronomically with persistence and training.”
“You had me until persistence and training.”
“Just… keep that in mind.” Donnie leaned backwards. “Sometimes things we see as weaknesses are blessings in disguise.”
“Ugh, you sound like Raph.”
“Your Raph is so much different than mine.”
“Yeah, either your Raph will eat my Raph or my Raph will coddle your Raph into oblivion.”
“I don’t think my Raph can be coddled.”
“I’m sure my Raph could find a way.”
Donnie shook his head. “So weird, how different dimensional variants of the same turtles can be.”
“Yeah.” Donnie scratched his arm awkwardly. “Well, I think that’s enough feelings for one day. Wanna try out my flight shell?”