Made a promise that, I'm gonna marry you, If we're both still single by, like, thirty-two

by somerandomgay

Summary:

sapnap was often asked why he moved in with dream. how he moved out, much less states away, at only nineteen. how he could do that to his family, his friends if he had any. how he left where he grew up and if he ever missed it.

the worst part was that sometimes, when his day had been especially bad or comments really got to him, he forgot his answer. on days like that he thought, maybe he was wrong, how could he do that? why didn't he go back?

most of the time, on days like that, he ended up crying in dreams arms.

Notes:

there will be other chapters, this ones just soft and nice:]

(there will be trigger warning added later)

title from best friend by Conan Gray

Chapter 1

sapnap didn't think he could ever forget the day it happened.

it had started out perfectly normal. he had stayed up too late streaming, so he didn't get up as early as he wanted but it was still only ten ish. he made his way downstairs to find dream sitting on a bar stool.

"hey, your up just in time. george just asked if he could call us both so I was gonna go get you."

sapnap nodded, walking around the counter, grabbing a monster from the fridge, a habit karl had gotten him into, and sat him across from dream.
cracking open the can, he looked at the taller expectantly.

"okay, okay. I'm going," he stated, then let the familiar ring sound through the the otherwise quite kitchen.
it only took two rings form the brit to pick up, much quicker then normal.

he immediately started talking before either of the others got a chance.

"guys, you'll never guess what email I got this morning."

sapnap laughed quietly at how energetic the oldest sounded, too much considering sapnap just woke up.

"what? you visa finally got excepted?" he asked jokingly.
he was met with silence. very loud silence.

"your joking," dream immediately accused, "there's no way."

george chuckled, "I would never joke about something so serious, especially with how much I know it affects you," he spoke so gently.

sapnap sucked in a breath, dream put down his phone and pushed back his chair, he started to pace.

"I have to get all the rest of my stuff into boxes, so that might take a bit, but I should be there by next week," george continued, " the week after at the latest."

sapnap sat his can down with a large clink.

"you not joking? your fully, one hundred percent, telling the truth," he wanted clarification, not that he thought george would ever do something so mean, still.

"I'm being one hundred percent, sap," at this point, the smile on the older brunette was obvious.

dream sat heavily back down, muttering a 'oh my god' before he put his head in his hands. sapnap's smile grew as he watched his best friends reaction. he put his hand out, just where the blond could see. it was quickly taken and squeezed

"you two better have my room ready by the time I get there," george was obviously trying to put the joking mood back in place. it worked as dream let out a quiet laugh, looking back up.

"it's been ready for a long time."

-

it only took two days for george to get all packed and another to actually get a plane. the three had been calling almost non stop, as both sides did the final things to get ready.
they had been on call as george got the confirmation that his apartment had been sold and almost the entire time george had been in the airport, pretty much up untill he boarded.

none of them had streamed sense the first call, which was not abnormal but there was a bit of suspicion on twitter, people like bad and puffy had noticed and asked but no one got a real reply.
just to be mean, they all tweeted out at the exact same time, with three almost identical messages that they wouldn't be live for a week or so.

twitter hated them.

they had decided it was best if just sapnap went to pick george from the airport, for fear of dream getting recognized. sapnap had bragged that he got the first hug but they were too excited that the dream team would be together for anyone to really care.

-

when sapnap entered the building, he was immediately overwhelmed. he wished he had brought his sound-cancelling headphones.
he moved himself to where george would come in, trying to stay as far away from people as he could.

he stood there for what felt like forever, but was probably only twenty minutes. he tried to back himself into the wall, ringing his hands out to the point where it hurt.

"you wanna get out of here?" although the unexpected voice made sapnap flinch, it also brought so much comfort. he whipped around to greet it, and was faced with a incredible familiar person.

the second sapnap's brain comprehended who and what was happening, he through himself at the brit and wrapped him in a incredibly tight hug.
after a couple minutes they untangled themselves, sapnap stepped back to really look at the other.

he looked exited but tired, which was fair seeing as he had just flown across a ocean.

"to answer your question, I really really do want to leave now," he said after a moment. the older smiled and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the exit.

"yeah I could tell, you look like you want to die."

the texan let out a undignified squawk but didn't fighting him.
sapnap took over leading when they got outside, though he didn't shake the hand still on his arm, and brought them to his car.

once they had gotten george's singular suitcase in the trunk, the rest of his things had been shipped, they got in the front.

as sapnap started up the car, george asked,

"where you actually okay in there?"

sapnap shot him a look and asked what he meant.

"well you just looked really overwhelmed and seemed more then happy to leave. which I get but I wanted to make sure you were okay," he explained.

and although sapnap was touched the other cared, he didn't feel the need to burden he before they even got to the house.

"yeah no, I'm fine. just lots of people and stuff."

though the other didn't seem convinced, he let sapnap avoid the conversation. the rest of the car ride was filled with much more lighthearted topics.

 

-

when they pulled up to the house, sapnap glanced at george.

"you nervous?" he asked, knowing dream was.

george seemed to contemplate that, "no. I've none him for so many years. the same reason I wasn't nervous 'bout meeting you."

and honestly? that was some of the best logic sapnap had heard.

"I wish you had said that to me before we meet," he joked but felt almost bad for his level of anxiety.

"awwww, were you scared to meet me?" george teased.

the only answer he got was sapnap getting out of the car.

sapnap could hear the older laugh as he went to grad his suitcase, but he didn't really mind.

he walked around to george's door and open it, making some over exaggerated gesture for the other to get out as he rolled his eyes.

-

the two stood side by side on the front porch as sapnap got his keys out. he opened the door, pushing it open for george.

"welcome home," the second he said it, he regretted it. it was too sappy and that wasn't the type of relationship the brunettes had, but at the look on george's face made those thoughs pause.

he looked star-stuck, in awe.

sapnap followed his line of vision. he could just see the top of dreams head as he stared down to his phone in the kitchen. he was probably trying to distract himself, not that twitter was the healthiest way to do that.

the youngest shushed george as he quietly closed the door, dream seemed not to hear them, most likely zoned out.

they walked as close as they dared, before sapnap got this evil look on his face.
he pulled a nerd gun out of what seemed to be no where. when he shot dream, he got the exact reaction he wanted, dream jumping out of his chair.

he looked up to his two laughing friends and frowned for a moment before realizing. his two friends. george.

he had a very similar reaction to sapnap, immediately wrapping the shorter in a bone crushing hug. they stayed together for several minutes, sapnap almost felt like he was intruding. dream looked up from george's shoulder,

"why are you so far away?" he asked and beaconed the youngest over. the three of them stayed like that for a while.

the dream team, together at last.

Chapter 2

Notes:

hey besties

all of this was written before the face reveal I'm just lazy, but this seemed like a good time!!
(I'm joking, this is probably the worst time I'm so sorry)

for the first couple months that george was in florida, they didn't do much. now 'not much' was also dreams face revival and announcing that george was with them. but besides that, not much.

in about the third month karl had asked if he could come visit them, and all of them loved karl so of course they said yes.

everything had started out innocently enough. karl streaming with the three of them, satisfying twitter. they even recorded a few videos of them just hanging out, skateboarding and having fun.
they also got the chance to recorded a banter episode all together, having not done that since before george joined.

the same night as said episode, the four where sitting all together on the couch. george and karl were having some, apparently very exciting, conversation and dream was scrolling on twitter. sapnap would like to say he was involved, but after zoning out for too long, he didn't know what they were talking about. he was honestly content just listening.

"oh my god, you know what we could do?" sapnap took this seemingly new point in conversation to actually listen.

"what?" george responses to karl as sapnap cocked his head.

"so you know how the banter boys have been to london, where george is from, and sap has been to north carolina? well we should go to texas!"

sapnap barely heard george's reply of agreement. he didn't think karl could have such a bad idea.

"sap?" he was pretty sure that was george but he couldn't be sure. his hearing seemed to have stopped working.
as well as his breathing?
why couldn't he breathe? he needed to do that, why couldn't he do that?

why was everything getting so far away? why couldn't he feel the people who where around him a minute ago?

why did he feel like he was falling?

"-apnap. sapnap!" there was a hand on his shoulder. he could feel someone pressed up against him. "can you hear me, pandas?" he could feel himself nod.

"okay, I need you to open your eyes for me, can you do that?" he wasn't sure when he had closed them, but he did as the voice said. it was comforting. he knew things like this had happened before but the voice was just as nice.

"good good, your doing great," he looked up and was met with dream. the older was always so nice and grounding. his eyes provided something to focus on. "there you are. can you do the senses for me?"
sapnap nodded, he knew exactly what that meant.

"five things you can see?"

"you, blanket. couch, george, karl," he figured seeing their knees counted.

"good. four things you can hear?"

"breathing. clock. wind and birds," with how silent the house had become, he could hear what sounded like a robin outside.

"okay, three things you can feel?"

"your hands," one in his lap, the other holding his own. "chain, hoodie."

"your going so good, sap. two you can smell?"

"you, mint."

"last one, taste?"

"mint gum," his voice has gotten slightly louder, but he was still so quite, dream matched his volume.

"you want a hug?" honestly dream was a godsend. he always knew what sapnap needed. he answered by crawling into the olders side and pulling himself into a ball, dream wrapped his arms around him.

it was sort of sad, in sapnap's opinion, how well dream knew how to deal with his panic attacks. not that the blonde didn't have his own, which sapnap knew how to calm him from, but that was different.
for dream, lots of different things triggered him, for sapnap it was always the same. whenever texas, his childhood, his family was brought up. no matter how innocently, sapnap could never handle it. he had learned how to put said attacks off, which was good for when things were said on stream, but it never stopped them.

the worst ones were on days when family members decided to contact him. his siblings weren't very bad, he could talk to them and not have a full blown breakdown. they were respectful of him and knew why he left. most of them do the same, just in a better way.
when his mother or father, or god forbid his grandparents, tried, those were the days when he stopped being able to function.

it hadn't happened all that many times, but still far too many for sapnap's taste and had caused about eight number changes.

he would say, despite the fact that they were all horrible, his father was the best. the man was blunt, angry but in a way that everyone knew he was. he always had been.

while it was bad, it was sorta refreshing. his mother and everyone else acted nice, like they cared, only to lash out at unexpected times.

his grandparents, on both sides, were the same. they would try to start conversations, like they still loved him, like they ever did. they'd ask simple things, make him think he could answer without it becoming a big thing.
he had learned not to respond very quickly, as it only escalated it.

if he didn't answer, they would start to be more rude, demanding. they would get to the point where it felt like they were with him, actually in the room screaming. the best part was how when one of the said anything, the others weren't far behind.

his mother, how for so long had been so nice to him, was the worst. she would start out so nice and respectful, even sometimes going as far as to apologize for how they reacted. if he ever he responded, which he hated to admit how much he did, she was kind. after a bit she asked him to come back "home" as she called it, like he was still welcome.
she tell him, if he could just be good again, they would love him and invite him in with open arms.

and honestly, he probably taken her up on he offered three times over, if not for the constant dead naming and misgendering.
all the "oh catherine, sweetheart. you where such a good girl, what happened? why don't you come home?" did the trick, stopped him from packing his bags and running home to mommy.

he had a home here now, in florida with people who love him. who don't dead name him, and maybe because most of them don't know it or that he's trans. but he'll tell them at some point, and he's sure they won't care.

dream know it, all of it. he know the name, the story. he knows when they message. he knows how to comfort, he cares.
he gave sapnap a home, almost as soon as he bought it, sapnap being the main reason for said investment. he knows what they were like, how bad they got, and how they still are.
dream is the reason sapnap is still alive, and he knows that too.

he knows the ins and outs of sapnap's transition, even giving the younger a couple of his t shots. he know just what to buy when sapnap's period decides to make an appearance.

dream has always been there for him. sapnap, no matter how selfish it is, is glad dream was still with him.

"am I allowed to ask what that was?" karl's voice broke through the silence.

dream looked down to where sapnap was. "are you comfortable with them knowing? you can say no," sapnap only nodded for response. dream looked at the other two, seemingly studying them.
"ok. so you know how sapnap is from texas?" sapnap stiffened at the word, the others nodded. "so essentially sap didn't have the best of experience with everything there, george you know a small bit of that, and he gets panic attacks when he thinks about his, well, childhood."

sapnap didn't really like it when dream referenced to all of it as "his childhood," it made it sound like all of it was bad

"oh, oh I- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to trigger him, I'm so sorry." sapnap's heart clenched at karl's voice. he sound so sad and remorseful, sapnap hated that that was his fault. karl was a ray of sunshine, he didn't deserve to be hurt.

he leaned a bit out of dreams arms, offering his hand to karl. the other took it, moving a bit closer, george beside him.

"I'm so so sorry, sappy. I didn't know," the older squeezed his hand. "we definitely do not have to go there, it was a dumb idea."

sapnap would love to agree, but it made sense.

"what?" he looked to see dream looking at him, "you're doing that one face, what are you thinking bout?" on days like this, sapnap loved how well dream knew him.

"well, I don't know. maybe it's not a horrible idea? it wasn't that bad, yknow?"

dream pulled him completely back into his side, karl moving his hand to be on sapnap's leg. "you are a fucking dumbass. it was that bad, I really don't think you should go back."

sapnap sighed, "ok ok, yeah that was bull, but maybe I still should? maybe they'd leave me be if I went back?"

dream wrapped himself around the younger, letting him rest his head in his neck. "honey they'd try to keep you there. we can't have that, I need you," sapnap let out a little laugh at that, but he knew the other was serious.

Notes:

heyyyy!!!!!

so if you don't know what I'm talking about, you should, but I really don't know what to say. the situation is fucked, dreams a bad person, are we really surprised? I'm not particularly, he done lots of stuff in the past that I never forgave him for, and there is proof this time too.

I can't say I'm a dream supporter, I think I've watched one of his videos. I don't know if I'll write about him again, but if I do, it'll be a character and not CC him.

I'm also not sure if finishing this story is a good idea, it's about sapnap but still involves him.
do people want me to? if a do it'll take awhile

I can't help but think what all this means for his friends, if they knew and did nothing that makes them just as bad.

anyways, have a great rest of your day ig

(edit: I'd just like to say I have no clue what I'm talking about. go look into things yourself and never base your opinion on things I say:] be responsible besties!!)