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It was the absolute worst. The team had been through numerous trying times together, yet none had ever felt quite as hopeless as this.
Heaving a sigh, Kai turned onto his side. The rocky ground nipped at his skin, threatening to crush his bones every time he shifted.
Nothing felt comfortable. The ground was hard, the air was cool, and somewhere in the distance darkness, enemies waited to devour them.
The Realm of the Oni and the Dragon. Kai shivered.
Of all the places we could end up…
With another sigh that was a little more dramatic than it had to be, Kai gave up, opening his eyes and glancing to the side. Zane slept peacefully, and not for the first time, Kai found wished he, too, were a nindroid. Just seems so much easier sometimes.
Cole sat at the edge of their small fire, tending it as he kept watch. Every so often, he checked on the kid, who had also found sleep pretty quickly. It still boggled Kai’s mind that this was Master Wu. He was seventy percent sure Cole still thought of their little master as “Cole Junior.”
Another sigh tore from his throat, combined with a somewhat unnecessary groan.
Cole shot him a glare, silently warning him not to wake up any of their slumbering teammates.
“Sorry,” Kai replied, not quite feeling the apology. He carded a hand through his hair, flipping onto his back. “Can’t sleep.”
“You don’t say.” Cole shook his head, poking at the fire with his crooked stick.
“I might as well just take my turn now,” Kai went on, only half-whispering. Yet, he made no move to sit up, tossing to his right side with the vain hope that it would be more comfortable than his left. “You get some sleep. I’ll keep watch.”
A tight smile graced Cole’s face. “It’s okay. I’m good. I don’t think I could sleep, either.”
Kai nodded, draping a hand over his eyes. “This sucks.”
“I know.”
“I mean, we’re never gonna get out of here. We’re in a completely different realm, for crying out loud!”
Cole put a finger to his lips. “Shh!”
“Sorry,” Kai whispered, glancing at their young master, who despite stirring slightly, remained asleep. “I wish I could just, ugh! Like, just wish us back home, you know? Wish none of this ever happened in the first place. Wish it all away or something…”
“No, you don’t.”
The voice startled him more than he’d ever care to admit. Honestly, he hadn’t thought Jay was awake…
“What?” Kai glanced at Jay, who lay stock still on his mat. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cole stiffen. “Uh, yeah, I think I do. Anything to get out of here.”
“Trust me.” Jay’s tone was dull, possessing a lifeless quality not often heard coming from the jovial ninja. “You don’t.”
Kai barely had time to furrow his brows, much less time to speak before Jay stood up with a shiver and disappeared into the darkness.
Okay…
Sitting up, Kai felt something in his twist in his stomach, an echo of a conversation pricking at his mind.
… Right.
Cole heaved a sigh, moving to stand.
“No,” Kai said, already on his feet. “I’ll go after him. I… I think I know what this is about.”
The wary stare Cole fixed him with rattled Kai more than it should have. “You do?”
Swallowing, Kai nodded.
“You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay…”
“Oh, come on, Cole. You’re not the only one who knows everything.” He felt none of the confidence lacing his tone, but at least it seemed enough to convince the mighty Master of Earth. “I’ll be right back.”
Without waiting for a reply, Kai ventured into the blanket of night, hand ablaze with a makeshift lantern.
Finding Jay wasn’t hard—it never really was, Kai realized with a pang. The Master of Lightning sat against the ruins of the Bounty, arms wrapped around knees pulled up to his chest.
“Hey,” Kai greeted, voice soft.
Jay kept his gaze fixed on the darkness beyond. “Hey.”
“Mind if I join you?”
“I’m fine.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
Jay glanced at him, then. Though the look lasted only a second, his eyes told Kai all he needed to know.
That his assumptions were correct.
Kai steeled himself.
A shrug served as a silent invitation, so he eased himself down beside his friend.
A moment or two was all the silence Kai could stand before it became unbearable.
“Sorry,” he blurted, fiddling with the flames licking his fingers.
“For what?” Jay’s chuckle lacked its usual humor, taking on an almost sardonic aura. “You didn’t do anything.”
“What I said.” Kai shook his head. “I wasn’t thinking.”
The way Jay shuddered sent chills down Kai’s spine.
“It was a throwaway comment,”—And he didn’t particularly like the way Jay’s voice shook. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
Even as he said it, Jay seemed to be trying to convince himself of the fact.
Kai took a deep breath. “Yeah? Then why are you out here all alone?”
“I’m not alone. You’re here.”
“Come on, Jay, you know what I mean.”
Another shrug. Super helpful, thanks.
“Look, you can deny it all you want if that’s what makes you feel better, but I’m sorry, okay? I know that phrase brings back bad memories for you and I shouldn't have said it. I was careless and I’m sorry.”
Somewhere along the line, Jay had stopped breathing, and Kai felt his own lungs begin to scream for air as well.
“How…” Deep trenches dug themselves between Jay’s brows. “H-How do you know that?”
Right… “Nya told me.”
Jay gave a slow, thoughtful nod as the trenches deepened—if that was even possible.
“Oh. How…” Jay swallowed, his gaze still fixed on a point off in the distance that, try as he might, Kai couldn’t identify. “How, uh, much did she tell you?”
“I don’t know. Not a lot, but enough, I guess. Just some stuff about a djinn, wishes, and an erased timeline.” About spiders and pirates and a torn-apart city. About weddings and death… About Jay getting captured, and the nightmares that still plagued the two of them. But, Jay didn’t need to know all that… So, Kai shrugged. “Enough to know I screwed up.”
For a long moment, Jay kept his mouth shut. The silence lasted so long, Kai began to wonder if their conversation was over. Serves you right for prying.
I wasn’t prying. I was apologizing.
Yeah? Look at him, you probably made it worse, idiot.
Just when Kai had made up his mind to let Jay be, his brother sucked in a small breath.
“It’s… hard, to talk about, I mean. Every time…” Jay tightened his hold around his knees. “Every time I think enough time has passed, something reminds me, and it all comes flooding back.” He shook his head. “Once I start thinking about it, I… I can’t stop, and… and I know it’s horrible, but sometimes… sometimes I wish you guys could remember it, too.”
“Honestly?” Kai heaved a sigh. “It sounds awful, but I would give anything to remember it. It’s not fair, that you guys have to remember all that junk when the rest of us don’t.”
Most times, he tried not to think about how long Nya and Jay had suffered alone, stuffing their secret down until they couldn’t shove it any further. That day on the roof behind the billboard was a long time ago…
“Have you…” He studied Jay for a moment, wondering if he should even continue. Oh, screw it. “Have you ever told anyone…?”
“Cole made me tell him.” And why didn’t that surprise Kai? “When we were all off searching for Master Wu.” Kai nodded, but Jay wasn’t finished. “I think that’s the only time I ever told the whole story. Like I said, it’s hard to talk about it… Really hard. I’m sorry I never told you.”
“Hey, it’s okay. Nya did, so it’s fine.” Jay shot him a skeptical look. “Really! We all have things we don’t like to talk about. And if you’re thinking I’m mad at you, you can just stop it right now, okay?”
He’d been going for a touch of humor; he’d wanted Jay to laugh. Instead, his brother sighed, glancing up at the cluster of stars above.
“I just keep wondering when it’s gonna stop hurting, you know?”
“Probably never.” This earned Kai another look. “I’m serious! Some things never truly stop hurting. They just hurt a little less as time goes on.”
“Are you speaking from experience?”
“... Maybe.” Heartfelt confessions were not his thing, but the ghost of a smile on Jay’s face made it all worth it. “You don’t have to tell me anything, Jay. If you never bring it up to me ever again, I won’t even be mad. But you don’t have to be alone, either. Okay?”
Slowly, Jay nodded. “Okay.”
Kai let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Leaning back against the broken ship, he followed Jay’s gaze up to the stars.
“Hey, Kai?” Maybe he was a little too invested in the stars because the whisper startled him.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
He felt a smile tug his lips.
So, their situation seemed a little hopeless. So what? At least Kai wasn’t alone.
And at least they would all be able to look back and remember what they went through.
Together.