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Alhaitham and Kaveh's relationship is well known throughout Sumeru. From harsh words spat at each other in fury while they were still students at the Akademiya to petty squabbles scrawled all over notice boards in Sumeru, from Port Ormos to The Akademiya. So when one of them is in any form of trouble, the residents of Sumeru know instinctively to contact the other to bail them out of trouble.
Therefore, it is not unusual for the Birmastan to come looking for Kaveh when Alhaitham received an injury from Archons knows where. However this time it is different, because Alhaitham is apparently asking for him instead of slipping away from the watchful eyes of the Birmastan to slide into their windows like a lowly thief trying to burgle his own home.
"Did he get hit in the head?" Kaveh asks incredulously, then pauses. Considering that the Birmastan is involved, it is a possibility. "Actually, just cut to the chase and tell me what I need to know."
The healer, a nervous little thing who trembles in the face of authority, hesitates. "We found the Grand Scribe collapsed in the middle of the Akademiya library. He suffers from no external injuries, but he seems to be missing some of his memories. He is currently under the impression that you are his next-of-kin."
Kaveh frowns. "He thinks I'm his brother? We don't look alike."
The healer fidgets on her feet, hands fumbling in front of her. "When he awoke, we asked if he would liked Mister Kaveh's assistance and were then alerted to his memory loss when he asked who you were. We... replied that you lived in the same residence and he took that as confirmation of your supposed marriage."
Kaveh draws a deep breath, filling his lungs, pinching the bridge of his nose to stave off his upcoming headache. Of course Alhaitham would be the only man able to drag his bloody, battered body from The Chasm to his own doorstep with little medical intervention, yet somehow knocks himself out reading in the safety of the Akademiya library and mistakenly assumes the man who is undoubtedly his biggest burden to be his biggest blessing.
He lets out the breath he was holding. "Did you try to tell him that I'm not his husband?"
"We did, but he grew visibly agitated and we did not want to distress him further."
Kaveh resists the urge to roll his eyes in front of the innocent healer, who is only her job of conveying information to him. Of course Alhaitham trusts no one but himself, even when he knows nothing and is objectively in the wrong.
If Alhaitham wants to believe they are married, there is nothing he can do to dissuade the man. In fact, why not make a game out of it? It is a prime time to see if Kaveh's skills at remaining incognito can rival Alhaitham's keen instinct. Alhaitham has always berated his honesty and generosity, claiming that such sentiments are weakness in the face of the natural order of life. Now he can witness firsthand how Kaveh's generosity benefits him too.
"What caused his collapse in the library?" Kaveh asks.
"Preliminary investigations are being done by the Matra, but we have no insight as of yet. As the Grand Scribe's emergency contact, you would be privy to the results of the investigation."
Kaveh nods. That makes sense.
(When they were both students, Alhaitham had filled in emergency contact forms with each other's details and submitted them to the Akademiya without Kaveh's knowledge and approval. Kaveh found out a few years later when one of the Matra appeared at the construction grounds of one of his projects, panting heavily while trying to get his words out in between breaths. He had not been living with Alhaitham then.)
"What do you recommend I do? Play along, or try to shake him out of it?"
"We will leave that to your judgement, Mister Kaveh. We feared that if we shattered what he believes is his reality, he would lash out at us. It is no secret that he was a contender for the position of General Mahamatra and although you have a Vision, I am not sure that you will be able to math him in straight combat. N-not that I don't believe in your skills, Mister Kaveh! Just, against the Grand Scribe..."
The truth is, Kaveh can hold his own against Alhaitham. They, or rather Alhaitham, insists on sparring from time to time to keep Kaveh's skills honed. Alhaitham insists it is because an enemy of the Akademiya might attack their home someday in pursuit of Akademiya secrets. Kaveh thinks it is ridiculous. The Matra will take care of it, plus who is Kaveh to Alhaitham, that they would target Kaveh personally?
Kaveh has no illusions, he is nothing but a nuisance to the Grand Scribe himself. A leech on finances, health, and patience. Alhaitham would be more than happy to leave him to whatever kidnappers deigned him worthy of being held ransom for the information Alhaitham holds.
Nuisance or not, Kaveh is not just Alhaitham's emergency contact, he has signed a contract that allows him control over Alhaitham's legal affairs should the man not be in the right state of mind, and this is such a case. Sort of. Not really.
However, Alhaitham is causing a lot of trouble for Kaveh. Kaveh will have to push off his beloved projects to babysit a grown man. His creative juices, stalled for the man who thinks only in a box that only has sharp angles.
The least Alhaitham could do is provide Kaveh with entertainment, no? Alhaitham will likely regain his memories within a few days, maybe weeks, he will fume for a few days, they will have great sex, and things will return back to normal.
So when Kaveh strolls into the tents of the Birmastan and spots Alhaitham, and Alhaitham has the word husband ghosted over his lips, Kaveh does not tell the truth. Instead, he says, "What have you gotten yourself into, Haitham? My name is Kaveh, or have you forgotten that too?"
Alhaitham's face crumples. A sign of vulnerability. Kaveh can count on one hand the number of times he has seen Alhaitham show a sign of vulnerability in the decade they have known each other. It is a strange sight to behold even for one as familiar with Alhaitham as Kaveh.
"I'm so sorry. I will do my best to remember you and the life we have built together."
Kaveh forces a smile and hopes that if it does not fool the Birmastan and the rest of Sumeru, it will at least fool Alhaitham.
They take some time to fill in Alhaitham on the basic details of his life. He is Alhaitham, he is twenty nine years of age, he is the esteemed Scribe of the Haravatat. They even test his linguistic ability and find that he has not forgotten any technical knowledge, only personal details about his life.
For some reason, Alhaitham is more interested in Kaveh, so Kaveh tells Alhaitham about himself too. His name is Kaveh, he is thirty one, and he is a member of the Kshahrewar. He shows Alhaitham a picture of the Palace of Alcazarzaray, his pride and joy, and soaks in the light of Alhaitham's begrudging praise. He tells Alhaitham they met in the Akademiya, when Kaveh was twenty one and Alhaitham was nineteen, and how they have been almost inseparable since.
"Do you remember any of this, Haitham?" Kaveh asks, mostly out of curiosity.
Alhaitham shakes his head. "No. It all seems familiar, but it slips away when I try and reach out for any concrete memories. Talking to you, however, feels right in a way I cannot describe."
"You, the Scribe of the Haravatat, Darshan of lost languages and linguistics, at a loss for words?" Kaveh teases good-naturedly.
"Any attempt to literate affairs of the heart is futile. There are no words in any language that can describe the depth of my feelings for you."
A light blush spreads across Kaveh's cheeks. It is not just the words that fluster Kaveh but the way Alhaitham delivers them; deadpan, matter-of-fact, like loving Kaveh is not an illusion borne from his strange and mysterious affliction. "You don't remember me, but you harbour feelings for me?"
"I do," Alhaitham says. "Do you not believe me?"
"I believe you," Kaveh says, and he finds he is speaking the truth. "It's just hard to believe."
Kaveh notices Alhaitham's pace getting more sluggish, but the stubborn man himself does not admit to fatigue. So Kaveh does what is needed of him, gently guides Alhaitham back so that Alhaitham may rest in the comfort of his own home.
There is only one problem though. "Do we not share a bedroom?" Alhaitham asks.
Usually they are only intimate after the roughest of their fights, when harsh words turn to insults and physical violence against each other, when the only healthy way to let off steam is to fuck. But Kaveh cannot tell poor amnesiac Alhaitham that, so he omits this information in hopes that Alhaitham's own mind will fill in the blanks.
"When we are, uh, intimate, I sleep in yours. But otherwise we sleep separately," Kaveh explains. "You're an early riser and I stay up late working on things and thus wake up late as well. Also, you snore."
"I do not."
"How would you know if you're asleep when you snore and you've lost your memories?"
Alhaitham grumbles and pushes into his room without another word, Kaveh laughing behind him. His roommate's reactions are endearing when he does not take offence at Kaveh's teasing.
When Kaveh pushes out of his room the next morning, yawning and fumbling at his braid, he is greeted with a surprisingly cheery Alhaitham. Well, cheery by Alhaitham standards. "Good morning, Kaveh. I've made breakfast for us," Alhaitham says, gesturing to the spread on the table.
Kaveh's eyes widen. He knows that Alhaitham prefers to cook his own meals (something about controlling calories and sugar and salt?) but never has Alhaitham cooked breakfast for Kaveh before. "Thank you," Kaveh manages to say after a while.
Alhaitham hums. "You look surprised."
Kaveh recovers quickly. "Just caught off guard. You're usually out of the house before I wake up. I forgot you're on medical leave." Thankfully, Alhaitham does not question this further, shrugging off his apron and taking a seat at the dining table.
They eat in silence for a while before Kaveh pipes up. "So what are you planning to do today?"
Alhaitham laughs softly. Kaveh swallows, vowing to commit this moment in time to memory. "I think the better question is, what can I do today? I know nothing of my work in the Akademiya, only that it is highly confidential. I know myself. As much as I love you, I would not have shared any information about my work with you."
The words 'I love you' strike a guilty chord in Kaveh, but he brushes it away. "Well, I was planning to go to the Matra to give my statement about your whereabouts and whatnot and ask about the investigation. Then, well... I don't know. Maybe I'll do a bit of work at the cafe?"
"Can I accompany you?" Alhaitham asks. Kaveh agrees, especially since they do not yet know if Alhaitham's condition is an accident or an external attack on a high ranking individual in the Akademiya. If he does not come along with Kaveh, one of the Matra will likely tail him anyway.
They finish up their food and do the dishes together instead of fighting over who will do the dishes. Alhaitham's elbow bumps into him a few times while drying the dishes, and each time Kaveh's heart speeds up a little.
When they leave the house, Alhaitham reaches out for Kaveh's hand and intertwines their fingers, giving Kaveh's hand a quick squeeze. Kaveh feels his ears heat up. Archons, he is the one who is supposed to make a fool of Alhaitham, not the other way around!
The meeting with the Matra is terribly dull. The Matra do not even bat and eye when Kaveh and Alhaitham enter their building holding hands. They attempt to separate Kaveh and Alhaitham, but Alhaitham literally growls at them and they back away instantly.
Kaveh finds it surprisingly hot.
They ask Alhaitham question after question, to which the answer to all of them is "I don't know," because Alhaitham has lost his memories. They tell Kaveh that Alhaitham had been trying to decipher some sort of ancient rune in the library when it activated, causing the rune to take effect on Alhaitham. The Matra's investigations cannot conclude if this was an accident or a deliberate attempt on Alhaitham.
The Matra on duty gives their interlinked hands a pointed look, then bores holes into Kaveh with his eyes. Kaveh purposely misreads the look the Matra gives him and starts to rub circles on the back of Alhaitham's hand with his thumb. "I will protect him until your investigations have been concluded."
In response, the Matra on duty -- very unprofessionally if Kaveh might add -- sighs and leans back in his chair, head lolling over the back of the chair. "Do as you wish, Mister Kaveh. Lesser Lord Kusanali be my witness, you two do whatever you want anyway."
"No we don't," Kaveh retorts.
The Matra raises an eyebrow. "The message boards?"
"Message boards?" Alhaitham asks. Kaveh would almost believe the tone of his voice was innocent if it did not come from Alhaitham.
More importantly, Kaveh cannot let Alhaitham see the message boards. While the contents of their arguments can be construed as banter, it shatters the illusion of their perfect marriage. Though Kaveh could make the excuse that every marriage has its flaws. Hmm...
"If we're done here, let's go. Do you want to take a walk around the city or would you rather have a seat somewhere quiet?" Kaveh pulls Alhaitham out of the Matra premises and onto the streets of Sumeru.
"It has been an overwhelming day," Alhaitham admits. Secretly, Kaveh wonders how exhausting it must be for Alhaitham to even admit such a weakness. "Exploring the city is on my agenda, but I fear it cannot happen today."
"Fair enough. Let's go to Puspa cafe and order some coffee? That way, you can still look around and I can get some work done."
To his relief, Alhaitham nods. Kaveh guides them to an outdoors table and settles Alhaitham into a chair, ordering him to sit and not move while Kaveh gathers some items. Which of course means that Alhaitham must move from his spot because how dare he listen to Kaveh for once. And of course it means he finds Alhaitham in front of the Puspa cafe message board, eyebrows furrowed and lips in a tight line.
"To cut off your finances over such a trivial matter. How could I have treated you so poorly?"
Kaveh startles, head snapping towards Alhaitham. Alhaitham still does not look at him, eyes trained on the message board, rereading the lines written in his own handwriting over and over again.
"Haitham. Don't think too much about it, okay?" Kaveh starts, reaching out for Alhaitham's arm.
"To think is to live. If one still draws breath but ceases thought, can one really be considered alive?"
"Again, you and your semantics," Kaveh chides. "This is how we communicate, with banter and debates. We can never agree on one thing, but that is exactly what makes us compatible; we force the other to see things from a different viewpoint."
"We can do that without me holding your livelihood over your head."
There is nothing Kaveh can say against that, so instead he says, "Let the matter rest, Haitham. I promise it will make sense when you regain your memories."
(It will, of course, make sense -- because Alhaitham and Kaveh were never married, they were never a couple. And thus there is nothing Alhaitham holds over his head, because whatever Alhaitham provides for Kaveh he is not obligated to give, and therefore is allowed to take away at any time.)
They settle into a routine. Alhaitham wakes up at the crack of dawn as he did pre-amnesia, makes Kaveh breakfast and asks about his plans. Some days, they head out for a walk and usually settle in either Puspa cafe or the tavern to order a coffee and do their work together. Most days they stay home and work in their separate rooms, to which Alhaitham will usually be the one to interrupt and ask Kaveh if he wants dinner.
It is the most civil they have been in almost ten years. It is all incredibly domestic, something that sets Kaveh on edge for some reason.
Is this a glimpse into a life that could have been, had Kaveh been a little less hot-tempered? Had Kaveh not provoked Alhaitham endlessly, had they not devolved from petty squabbles to fist fights and violent sex, would Kaveh have had an Alhaitham who remembered everything and treated him so tenderly?
Kaveh thinks; in another lifetime, he would have fallen in love with Alhaitham in the normal way. They would have dated like a normal couple, graduated separately and moved in together once Alhaitham was settled in his job. Maybe in that life, Kaveh would be able to strike a balance between his passions and his income, putting less strain on his relationship with Alhaitham. Maybe in that life, they would be able to sleep in the same bed without the awkward tension of having nothing positive to say about each other.
This is not that lifetime. Instead, Kaveh has pushed and pushed continuously until Alhaitham snapped. Their relationship is beyond repair, or at least, it was thought to be. Now they have a clean slate, as long as Kaveh keeps his mouth shut.
It is not a joke anymore. If Kaveh was being honest with himself, it never was. But Kaveh cannot be honest with himself yet, so he pushes down that feeling that he cannot identify and trudges on.
There is one boundary he cannot allow himself to cross. When Alhaitham pulls him closer so that their hips are flush against one another and leans in, Kaveh pushes away. "No," Kaveh says firmly, pushing the other man off.
Alhaitham stops. "Do you not find me desirable?"
Alhaitham is beautiful; this is a fact. He looks as if he was carved out of marble from Celestia's palace itself, chilled stone fashioned by the Gods themselves. Men and women alike fall over each other to vie for his attention. Kaveh does not know how Alhaitham does not notice the stares he receives on the streets, or perhaps Alhaitham does and is simply used to such attention.
"You are exquisite, Haitham," Kaveh reassures. "But I cannot be intimate with you with the knowledge that you do not have your memories."
Because to them, sex is a way to take out their anger and frustration on each other. In this eerily tranquil relationship, where they have little friction with one another (and whatever friction they do have is resolved unreasonably quickly with no lingering resentment), there is no need for sex.
But deep down in Kaveh's heart, he wishes that when he and Alhaitham have sex, that they would make love instead, the sort of fantasies Kaveh has only read about in fiction novels imported from Inazuma and Fontaine.
Kaveh, however, cannot be honest with himself yet. So he pushes the blame to Alhaitham's missing memories, which Alhaitham readily accepts, because he does not know any better.
Cyno is General Mahamatra and thus knows of the investigation into Alhaitham's missing memories. Naturally, he ropes Tighnari and Collei into paying them a visit in Sumeru City on little notice.
Alhaitham, the control freak that he is, immediately starts bossing Kaveh around to get groceries and clean whatnot so that they can cook a meal for their guests. Kaveh grumbles but relents; after all, he would like to treat his guests well and Alhaitham is the one who can cook.
Kaveh is delegated to dish washing when they hear a knock on the door. "General Mahamatra," Alhaitham greets as the door creaks open.
"Please, call me Cyno. I'm not here on official business."
"Cyno, then. Please have a seat."
Cyno steps in, places his staff by the coat hanger beside the door and shuts the door behind him. "Tighnari and Collei will be here soon. It's been a while since they've been in the city, so they're taking some time to stroll around the markets. I, however, am beat from a day of work." He stretches, sinking into the plush couch, a luxury item that Kaveh still cannot believe pre-amnesia Alhaitham allowed the purchase of.
Alhaitham spends a good few seconds staring, then coughs into his fist. "My apologies. By now, you must know of my missing memories. May I ask a few questions about our relationship?"
Cyno shrugs. The reason he came was because of Alhaitham's missing memories, not that Alhaitham himself knows. "Fire away."
"How did we get to know each other? Are we friends?"
"Oh, getting straight to the point, eh? Not beating about the bush? Get it? Beat from a day of work, beating about the bush?"
Alhaitham, bewildered (by Alhaitham standards, that is), looks at Kaveh for help. "Yes, he's always like that," Kaveh replies.
"You're no fun," Cyno mutters, then straightens himself. "To answer your question seriously, we are colleagues in the Akademiya. We do not often agree but are able to deal with each other civilly."
Alhaitham nods solemnly. "Just like myself and Kaveh, I expect."
Cyno's face turns to stone. Kaveh goes back to his washing, because seeing Cyno's facial expressions is going to put him more on edge. "We studied under the same Darshan as well, if that helps," Cyno offers, changing the topic swiftly.
The two launch into an epic discussion on semiotics while Kaveh finishes up the the dishes and eventually joins them. Admittedly, Kaveh feels a little left out of the conversation, though he is able to pick up on a few things from his bickering with pre-amnesia Alhaitham.
Eventually, Tighnari and Collei arrive, and they too are subject to Alhaitham's questioning, although there is little common ground between them; Tighnari is Amurta and years younger than Alhaitham, and Collei does not intend to study at the Akademiya at all, preferring to devote her life to fighting The Withering.
After finishing his meal, Alhaitham stands up. "My apologies. I must retire early; I must meet the Sages before dawn for them to assess my suitability as Scribe. Kaveh, my heart, I'm sorry that I cannot prepare breakfast for you tomorrow, but I hope the leftovers will suffice." Alhaitham presses a light kiss to Kaveh's forehead, one hand cupping Kaveh's cheek tenderly. "Good night, love. Have fun with your friends and rest well after."
"Good night, Haitham." When Kaveh turns back, everyone is agape at him.
"You have made a huge mistake," Cyno says, with much emphasis on the word 'huge'.
"I second this. Kaveh, what are you doing?" Tighnari pulls on his ears. "I know Alhaitham's a bit of a prick but even he doesn't deserve this."
"Even if you do not harbour feelings for Alhaitham, what of Alhaitham himself? He's the happiest I've seen him in literal years. What do you think is going to happen to that happiness when he finds out that your 'love' for him," Cyno draws air quotes around the word 'love', "is simply a means to your entertainment?"
"It's... not."
"Not what?"
"Not entertainment. Not anymore," he mutters.
"Oh by the Greater and the Lesser Lord, you've caught feelings," Cyno laments, sinking down in his chair.
"Caught feelings? You mean to imply this is a recent development? No, the two of them have been pining for each other for almost a decade now," Tighnari snarks. crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "Love at first sight, one would say, except even the most toxic mushrooms that could kill a man from a distance with its spores pale in comparison to the toxicity of the relationship of one Alhaitham and Kaveh."
"It's not that bad," Kaveh mumbles.
"It is," everyone choruses, including sweet little Collei. Traitors, the lot of them.
"You were emotionally and verbally abusive to each other. Look at me in the eyes and tell me it did not escalate physically."
Kaveh tries, he really does. But he remembers looking at himself in the mirror, desperately trying to figure out how to use the paints and powders that the ladies use to cover their blemishes to cover the dark ring around his eye where Alhaitham hit a little too hard. He remembers having to hide handprints on his neck with turtlenecks in the summer, having to tug down his sleeves when they billow in the wind in fear of showing the mottled bruises that decorate his wrists like bracelets.
He can never admit this to Cyno, his friend. Because his friend Cyno is also General Mahamatra, and should any form of abuse be reported to the Matra, they are obliged by law and duty to bring that to justice.
But no one understands. It is not abuse, there is no justice to be had. This is how Alhaitham and Kaveh communicate, this is the only way they know how to communicate. They have each other in their darkest times and that is more than Kaveh could ask for. Who else would be willing to shoulder a six hundred thousand mora debt with him while paying off a house and having a freeloader in their home?
Kaveh looks away. "Why does it matter? We're happy now."
"Financial abuse is a thing too. Doesn't he hold your shelter over your head?" Cyno pauses. "Haha, get it? Shelter? Overhead?"
"Not now, Cyno," Tighnari snaps, stomping on Cyno's foot under the table. Cyno winces but has the brain to not protest.
Kaveh shakes his head. "He doesn't threaten to throw me out. He just doesn't pay my tab at the tavern or cafe for a month."
Cyno and Tighnari exchange a look. "That's... still not any better, especially if it's on short notice. Especially since he knew of your financial situation."
"I was lucky he let me stay in the first place," Kaveh points out.
There is silence around the table for a while. "If you tell me, I can help," Cyno pleads, no, begs.
"I don't need help," Kaveh replies, a warning edge to his tone. His patience is waning and his tongue is sharp, and he urges to test the edge of his metaphorical knife against the next person who wrongs him.
Tighnari sighs again. The noise grates on Kaveh's nerves. "Look, I don't know how you're going to do it, but at the very least you need to tell him before he gets his memories back."
"Maybe he won't get his memories back," Kaveh spits.
"Even if he doesn't get his memories back, it's the right thing to do."
"Stop!" Kaveh roars, slamming his hands on the desk. Kaveh is not as built as Alhaitham, but he is still a Vision wielder; the table cracks slightly under Kaveh's strength. "Just, stop telling me what to do and what not to do. I'm happy now, isn't that enough for you? Why must you come here and ruin it? Why are you trying to break us apart?!"
Tighnari opens his mouth but Cyno pulls him back by the shoulder, shaking his head. "Let's leave. We've done enough here." To Kaveh he says, "We're sorry for overstepping our boundaries. We'll be taking our leave now. Collei, let's go."
Cyno ushers them out, but not without a last, mournful glance back at Kaveh, who is trembling so hard with anger that the table trembles with him too. Cyno shuts the door behind them, and Kaveh is left alone.
The next few days send Kaveh into a downward spiral. Alhaitham's meeting with the Sages does not go well. He is fired in all but name, refused a position in the Akademiya under "persistent medical issues" and put on permanent medical leave until further notice. This leaves Kaveh's income as their only source of income.
Now, Kaveh himself does not mind surviving on minimal income. But Alhaitham is reliant on him now. And this is Alhaitham, who he has spent the last ten years with, who has supported him through thick and thin, who has taken Kaveh in when he had no one. Now Alhaitham is the one in need of help and it is up to Kaveh to help him.
Cyno's and Tighnari's words ring in his mind still. That their relationship was borne of toxicity, that their lives are forged upon a lie, that they would be happier apart. But who is Kaveh without Alhaitham? Kaveh does not know. He knows of his dreams, of his whimsicality, of his generosity. But they are always traits drawn in comparison to Alhaitham; down to earth, practical, fair Alhaitham. Who is Kaveh, then, without his standard of measure, the man who he spends most of his time with and constantly compares himself to?
On this day, Kaveh is trapped in his own mind. Financial worries and ugly feelings overwhelm him, and Kaveh decides to cope by drowning himself in work. The moment he awoke, he started on a paid project for the Eremites; a tent that provides shelter and protection from the elements and hostile creatures, but is also lightweight and foldable.
A soft knock on the door breaks Kaveh out of his concentration briefly. "Kaveh, it's time for dinner."
Is it already time for dinner? He could have sworn he just skipped breakfast an hour ago. Kaveh does not respond, choosing to refocus on his sketches and drawings.
The knocking continues. "Kaveh? Are you there? May I enter?" Kaveh scoffs. The brute thinks of them as husbands yet still requests entry to a room in the residence in his name.
"I apologise for the intrusion, I'm coming in. I'm worried about you." The door opens, and Alhaitham stops in his tracks. "What is this?"
Of course the first thing this control freak takes note of are the papers strewn haphazardly all over his room. "Working," Kaveh mumbles, crumpling the piece of paper in front of him and tossing it aside. A failed prototype. "I'm not stopping until this is done."
"You need sustenance," Alhaitham insists.
"No, I need to finish this." Alhaitham is stubborn, but Kaveh is stubborn too.
Alhaitham leaves, and for a while Kaveh thinks he has won. But Alhaitham comes back with a plate of Panipuri,
"Open," Alhaitham urges, prying open Kaven's mouth with the tips of his finger. Kaveh obliges, partially because he is too absorbed in his task, and partially because Alhaitham is physically stronger than him. Alhaitham slips the ball of Panipuri into Kaveh's mouth expertly, guiding Kaveh's jaw shut again. "Chew," he commands, and Kaveh follows. Alhaitham waits for Kaveh to swallow the ball before he starts the process again with a new ball of Panipuri.
"Talk to me," Alhaitham urges in between feedings.
"I need to pay for the house payments, but the jobs that pay don't spark my creativity," Kaveh says absently.
Alhaitham frowns. "If money is an issue, I am willing to support you. More importantly, did your friends say something to upset you? I overheard shouting, but I did not wish to overstep any boundaries."
Kaveh's heart breaks. All he has done is lie to Alhaitham. But what else can he do but continue to lie to Alhaitham? Should he say that his so-called friends have condemned their relationship? Should he tell the truth, that they were never a couple in the first place, that Kaveh has been manipulating Alhaitham to catch a glimpse of the happy life they would have led had Kaveh been more well behaved?
Instead, Kaveh says, "Haitham, you don't remember this but I'm in severe debt. You'd been paying my rent for the past year. You can't work for the Akademiya, which also means you're not drawing a salary. I know you have savings, but how long will that last us? At the very least, you shouldn't have to sustain me as well."
"I see."
Kaveh blinks. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"
"Yes. The solution is simple, no? I simply need to find a job." Alhaitham strokes his chin. "I have been told that I pose quite the intimidating figure. Perhaps I could take on some commissions."
Kaveh gapes. "You. You getting a job. As an adventurer. You're taking commissions. By the Lesser Lord, am I dreaming?"
"Was a lack of income not the source of your stress?" Alhaitham queries.
"Yes, but you're you. You're devoted to the Akademiya. Your life's work, the Haravatat," Kaveh protests.
"I do not remember my life's work. However, the man who has stood by me ever since the beginning of my memories is in distress. How could I stand by without helping?"
Kaveh's heart lurches.
Even if he doesn't get his memories back, it's the right thing to do, something whispers in the back of his mind. It sounds suspiciously like Tighnari's voice.
Their financial situation is not good, but it is significantly better. Alhaitham does not earn as much as he did when he was the Scribe, but he earns enough to sustain himself.
He wants to shove it in Cyno and Tighnari's face, the fact that he contributes the larger amount of money now. Financial abuse? No, this is an equal partnership. When one party cannot hang on, the other party picks up the slack while waiting for their partner to get themselves together, as all healthy partnerships should.
One day over dinner, however, Alhaitham breaks the silence with a blunt statement. "We did not get along before."
Kaveh smiles ruefully. Even without his memories, he is still Alhaitham. He does not mince words, nor does he beat about the bush. "No, we did not," Kaveh confirms. "But we get along now, isn't that enough?"
"I have a theory."
Of course Alhaitham has a theory about their relationship, the one Kaveh does not want to unpack now, because unpacking it means unpacking all of Kaveh's feelings and he is not ready to face all of that yet. "You Haravatats, always with your noses in a book," Kaveh scoffs instead.
"Technically, this is Vahumana theory," Alhaitham counters.
Kaveh waves a hand in dismissal. "Semantics. I know you took so many modules under Vahumana that you could have chosen to graduate as one."
Alhaitham ignores him. "The study of love languages. I believe it will prove useful to us."
"And this is related to us, how?"
Alhaitham slides a book across the table The Five Type of Love Languages and Their Place in Relationships, the title reads. "There are five types of love languages. I theorise that my love language is acts of service and physical touch, while yours is quality time and to an extent, words of affirmation."
"And?"
"Indulge my curiosity. Before I lost my memories, what was the main cause of our fights?"
Kaveh takes a deep breath. Holds it in his lungs. Breathes out. "Many reasons. We have a lot of conflicting views over things. I didn't do the dishes or clean up after myself, and all you did was nag at me to do so."
"Is that the full story?"
Kaveh bites his lip and looks away.
It is now Alhaitham's turn to sigh. Nonetheless, he does not call out Kaveh on his non-answer and presses on. "I suspect that past me saw the inaction as a lack of appreciation, and past you saw the jabs I made at you as a personal attack."
"Were they not meant to be?" Kaveh retorts, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Kaveh, please."
Kaveh falls silent. "I'm sorry. Feelings that aren't anger are hard for me to process."
"I know, and that's okay." Alhaitham takes Kaveh's hand and lays it over the cover of the book. "It went wrong in the past because we did not communicate the same way. You craved to spend time with me, even if it was banter over the most inane things. I wanted you to do something for me, even if it was as simple as tidying the house."
Kaveh breathes. "I make a habit to tidy the house now. So there should be no issue, yes?"
"Humour me and keep the book."
Kaveh keeps the book. There is little he could deny Alhaitham.
Somewhere along the way, Kaveh made up with Cyno and Tighnari, though things are still tense when Alhaitham is around. Alhaitham seems to sense this and makes himself scarce when they come around, which Kaveh is immensely grateful for.
He gets more contracts and bigger projects offered to him, and Alhaitham has taken to exploring the Chasm for runes that he alone has the expertise to decipher. As a result, they spend more time apart, but it makes their time together all the more sweeter.
One year in, and Alhaitham still has not regained his memories. He retains all the theoretical knowledge, like how to decipher runes and the linguistics of dead languages and how to survive in the rainforest, but he cannot remember his Akademiya days and how he met Kaveh and anything that involves him personally.
Kaveh is not-so-secretly relieved. He is sure by now that the entirety of Sumeru considers his relationship with Alhaitham a live action drama show that is threatening to blow up on them both. He wants to prove them wrong, to show them that they can work things out together.
"I think I may never get them back," Alhaitham says one day. "I'm sorry."
Kaveh raises his head from his sketchbook. "Why do you say so?"
"You lost your husband."
"You're right here," Kaveh points out.
Alhaitham crashes on the sofa beside him, snaking an arm around his waist. "What is a person without their thoughts, their memories? The man you fell in love with is no longer here. I wear his face and share his name, but I am not him. I may never be him again."
Kaveh lays a hand on Alhaitham's chest, feeling his muscles through his shirt. "He thinks. He feels. He is right here. He made a decision to trust me with his vulnerability and let me help him. He returns my affections. He is kind to me. In return, I support him through his toughest times and helped him be a better man.
"Perhaps you are not the Alhaitham I met in the Akademiya and moved in with, but who is to say that is a bad thing? Perhaps the past is best left in the past."
"Was our relationship truly that bad?" Alhaitham whispers into Kaveh's hair. "I overhear bits and pieces of gossip sometimes, and it all seems blown out of proportion. But what if that was the reality, and we are the ones in denial?"
Kaveh shrugs. "I was told it was an unhealthy relationship, although I still do not think of it as such. But against all odds, we have redeemed it and are thriving now. What does the past matter when you are here with me, safe and sound?"
They bask in each other's presence, soaking in each other's warmth. For a moment, everything is alright.
"So will you finally lay with me tonight?" Alhaitham asks, breaking the silence.
Kaveh barks out a laugh. He wishes that Alhaitham would never change. Kaveh leans forward, lips brushing against Alhaitham's. "Yes, I will lay with you. Let us mark this day as our second anniversary, the day we fell in love with each other again."
And when Alhaitham holds him, Kaveh thinks, oh, this is what making love feels like.
Kaveh awakens the next day with sunlight streaming in through Alhaitham's (their, theirs now) windows, illuminating a note that sends chills down his spine.
I remember everything.
He starts to shake violently. His breath quickens. His brain cannot focus. By the time he has stopped shaking enough to climb out of bed and get dressed, the sun is at its highest point in the sky.
Kaveh waits on the couch for Alhaitham to return, sketching imperfect prototype after prototype. He ignores the emptiness in his belly and the nausea he feels. Nothing except Alhaitham matters.
Kaveh waits for Alhaitham for two days and two nights, but Alhaitham does not return.
Bonus:
Alhaitham comes back home later that night, when he is restless and cannot sleep, his thoughts filled with Kaveh.
Kaveh had cried himself to sleep, as evidenced from the tear tracks on his face and his puffy eyelids. "Silly man," Alhaitham mutters under his breath. What right did Kaveh have to cry when he was the source of deception?
Yet Alhaitham still finds himself taking Kaveh's sleeping form into his arms and carrying the man to his own room, tucking him into bed. He presses a soft kiss to Kaveh's forehead, pulling the covers over his shoulders, and heads back to his room to fall asleep.
And when Alhaitham wakes up early in the morning, he cooks two portions of breakfast and an extra portion intended to be Kaveh's dinner, because both the Greater and Lesser Lord know that Kaveh will not eat when he is in one of his Moods. For good measure, he even finds the time to make Kulfi for dessert to lure Kaveh out.
Without thinking, Alhaitham grabs a pen and a piece of paper and scribbles down a message for Kaveh. There is Kulfi in the cryo box, it reads. Hopefully it will allow Kaveh to notice the boxes of actual food that Alhaitham left for him.
When Alhaitham comes back, the sink is clear, giving him the impression that Kaveh has not yet emerged from his cryptid hideout. But when he opens the cryo box, the food is gone. On the table, scribbled under the note Alhaitham had initially left, in Kaveh's handwriting, was a sentence.
I did the laundry and dishes.
Love languages, Alhaitham thinks. Acts of service, words of affirmation. Honesty, communication, the basis of a relationship.
Thank you, Alhaitham squeezes below that line. I appreciate it.