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As Jason's ex-girlfriend, Piper had always known how kind he was. Yet, she was still awestruck when she realized how selfless he could be for the one he loved most.
It was so pure - the way Jason loved Nico, that was.
No, Piper wasn't being jealous. Okay, maybe a little - just because that love was so, so sincere and noble, plainly devoted to the core that it left her unable to help but dream of the same for herself. Don't get her wrong, Shel was everything of a delight to her, but Jason made it as though Nico was the center of his world, a God to his martyrdom, for which he would offer his heart and soul if merely asked. Piper bet the blood of Aphrodite in her veins that it was the most altruistic, self-forgetting love she'd ever get to witness.
When they had yet to find the courage to face themselves and break free of Hera's manipulation, Piper had already had a feeling of Jason's affection for someone else. The spark that she'd seen lit up his soul every time he would let his mind wander hadn't been the same as usual. A flicker of tender indigo, so small yet warm nonetheless, a stark difference from the clouding rosewood he used to carry for her. A seed of love. The ignition of a flame. Piper didn't think Jason had recognized it back then. Yet, it burned livelily, all vibrant and scorching despite its humble size. She thought it was pretty.
The indication wasn't a reason for their split - gods forbid, no. That was their poorly made-up foundation built on divine interference to be at fault - but it had certainly given her more courage, enough for Piper to set herself and Jason free.
After their breakup, Piper didn't talk to Jason for a while. Although the decision was mutual, they both needed time to lick their wounds and space to learn how to breathe again. It took a few months for Shel's arrival to heal her enough that Piper felt comfortable enough to contact Jason again: a simple Iris Message on a Sunday morning.
As the mist gradually cleared only to reveal unusual darkness, Piper's heart flew to her throat and stuck there for a moment, until Jason's drowsy voice rang quietly.
"Piper?" He called, blearily blinking the light away while groping for his glasses. The headboard he was leaning on was of shiny brown mahogany, decorated with skulls and pomegranates. She caught a glimpse of the strangely familiar purple light, presumably from a nightlamp.
To her amusement, Piper realized that Jason was in Hades' cabin.
It surprised her that she didn't feel surprised about that fact. Somehow, it made sense to her, especially when she saw how much the indigo flicker inside Jason's soul had grown.
When she asked, the son of Jupiter reached up to adjust his glasses clumsily, suddenly looking sheepish in his residual sleepiness. "I kind of overworked and Nico, uhm, kind of threatened me to rest." Jason explained, a goofy smile stretching the scar on his upper lip. He seemed relaxed, utterly comfy in a pool of gray blankets, "He brought me here because he thought it would be easier for me to sleep without my father's statue staring down at me."
Jason's eyes shifted to the side, gratitude flooding the shimmering blues, brimming in the room's thick darkness. Although Piper had never been inside Hades' cabin, she could vaguely imagine Nico di Angelo sleeping soundly in the near bed.
She arched an eyebrow, choosing her words carefully. "It's kind of him to do that for you."
Immediately, Piper was rewarded with the tender feelings of an overflowing adoration blooming in Jason's soul, strong enough to ticker her Aphrodite senses from the other side of their rainbow call. It felt like when she was with Shel, albeit much richer. When Jason turned back to her, there were already prominent crinkles at the corner of his eyes, and his grin held so much satisfaction that it looked physically hurt.
"Yes, yes he is." He agreed a little too cheerfully despite his hushed voice, considering the compliment wasn't about him. "Nico has always been kind like that."
Piper practically heard the fondness drip from his voice. Wow, her mother would be elated.
Before the call, Piper had been nervous to see Jason still hanging up on their old relationship. She knew how deep his love could run. Now, though, as Piper examined her ex-boyfriend - defenseless and unmasked on a holiday morning, it seemed her worry was unnecessary, after all.
She couldn't help but match his grin with one of her own. "I can see you two are really close."
There was a stutter in the beat of Jason's soul. The purple light she saw inside him gleamed brightly before melting away into a wine color, glowing softly in the background. Piper blinked.
On the outside, Jason nodded at her, still smiling. "We are. It wasn't easy to get to it, but we're best friends now."
The son of Jupiter looked honestly delighted at the declaration, yet Piper couldn't shake the faint weeping in her ears. It sounded like a quiet ringing, seemingly insignificant but definitely there. Confusion seethed at her along with a little guilt at possibly saying the wrong words. Piper opened her mouth, yet Jason beat her to it.
"It seems we're due for a long catch-up. Just give me a minute to prepare and then I'll call back to you?" He proposed, already moving out of view in the process of extracting himself from the blankets. Piper noted how his gaze seemed to stray to Nico's side, making sure the boy wasn't wakened up by their conversation. "I have a lot to ask you as well."
Piper wanted to ask - just to appease whatever was bothering her - but there was no sound coming out of her mouth before she found herself nodding at him. Jason swept a hand through the mist and his figure vanished, leaving her with only a strange irritation to muse on.
Later, when they finally had a proper call in Cabin One, Piper still couldn't find the right words to ask Jason - neither about his feelings for Nico nor the strangeness she felt. Defeated, she let Jason interrogate her about her new romantic interest until they were both chattering freely, alternating between expressing congratulations and laughing at each other's faces as they used to.
It turned out, Piper needn't ask, for she soon saw the reason behind it all when she visited Camp Half-Blood, as promised to Jason.
When her eyes spotted the boys perching on the porch of Cabin Thirteen, one of the blond sitting unnecessarily the shorter black-haired one, Piper immediately assumed it was Jason and Nico.
To say she was dumbfounded to realize the blond was, in fact, not the son of Jupiter was an understatement.
Piper stopped dead in her track. She stood there, looking probably dumb a few feet away from the small group. Her eyeballs hurt from staring at Nico di Angelo and Will Solace, then at Jason's back, and then back at the other two.
Nico was the first to notice her. He glanced up and blinked, twice. Almost immediately, the other two followed his gaze, and all the attention was on Piper.
"Piper, you came!" "Oh, welcome back, Piper!"
The blonds chorused. Jason's entire face broke out in a wide grin as he got up to greet her.
"I promised, didn't I?" Piper masked her brief confusion to open her arms and the son of Jupiter happily accepted the hug. After all the mess they had gone through, Piper was still happy to see her ex-boyfriend's kind smile.
They patted their backs dramatically loudly like cheeky friends. When they let go, Piper met eyes with the other boys. Will Solace beamed gaily at her whereas Nico, always the reserved type, opted for a friendly wave and a little smile. Piper noticed Will's arm planted behind the son of Hades, barely halfway to a loose embrace. Nico didn't seem to mind. His cheeks colored a little when he caught her gaze on their posture, but he didn't move away.
Piper saw it without them saying anything - the soft glow that enveloped them in a merry bubble of warmth and infatuation. It felt like a summer afternoon.
Without much thought, she blurted out. "You two are dating?"
Apparently, that wasn't a fact often spoken out loud as Nico stuttered a little before nodding shyly. Unlike him, Will laughed freely at her sudden inquiry.
"Oh yeah, how you're doing, Piper? We're just peachy, thanks for asking!" He cocked his head to Nico's side with a grin, practically brimming with joy. "And yes, we're dating."
Piper's eyes instinctively snapped back to Jason. She searched through his soul, squinting past his smile only to feel the quiet ringing again: the dull weepings pricking her skin. But there was also... contentment? Piper was confused. Leaving out the little joy of their reunion, Jason's soul sounded pleasantly satisfied at the same time it felt wistfully sad. His smile didn't waver even just a bit as he watched Nico lean further into Will's embrace, his eyes only had reflections of the brunette's sheepish but happy face.
The sadness was barely perceptible. Truthfully, Piper supposed she could see it only thanks to her children of Love privileges. She was pretty sure Nico failed to do the same.
"Good for you two, then!"
It was hard to detach herself from the weird mix of melancholy, but Piper managed it to congratulate the couple sincerely enough. The ones who were definitely inadvertently hurting one of her best friends with their happiness. Nico's relieved winter-sunlight smile almost made it worthy. Almost.
Later, Nico and Will let them leave for their catch-up. Piper eagerly dragged Jason away. Nico gave them a little wave, lips curving up in an amiable smile. Jason had the heart to look sad at having to leave him.
Jason didn't deny it. He didn't even look embarrassed at Piper's obnoxiously positive assumption.
"Yeah, I'm in love with him."
The son of Jupiter admitted to her in that genuinely truthful voice and with a perfectly calm face. No shying away and unquestionably unafraid, he proudly acknowledged his crush on Nico di Angelo as if it was a prize, a blessing, the laurel wreath for all his heroic acts, something along that line, for him to receive. The love - because Piper was damn sure it was love at this moment - burned fiercely inside him: a beautiful, dazzling, breathtaking fire of utmost passion and deep adoration.
Incredible. Really. Piper didn't expect such passionate affection. Damn Jason Grace and his talent for making everything a heroic tale.
She had to admit she was awestruck, just for a moment, enough to question what Nico could have done to have the Roman hero pine after him like that. Perhaps Piper should pity herself for not being the receiver of that intense love when she'd had the chance. But Jason was smiling to himself again, surely at the mere thought of one Nico di Angelo that had been stirred up by their conversation - not like Piper thought he would ever stop thinking about the boy - and that made it so hard to feel anything except admiration.
Excuse her. Piper was a child of Aphrodite. Having mother issues didn't mean she was unable to marvel at a great love.
That great love would have been ideal - had it been reciprocated.
"Would you tell him?" Piper asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.
Jason shook his head - a slow, unhurried action that got Piper to wonder how much it hurt him more than he let on. "He's happy with Will, no need to sabotage that."
The fire dimmed, pulsating barely enough to be felt. Piper couldn't repress the heavy sigh. "Oh, Jason..." She placed a hand on his shoulder, hoping to soothe the scorch marks. "It isn't sabotaging if you just want to speak your feelings."
But Jason only turned to her with a grateful smile. "Thanks, Piper. But it's fine. Really." He said, effectively cutting off the topic as if the fire deep in his soul hadn't been aching, pricking Piper's skin like thousands of tiny needles. His eyes glazed over, hovering across the windows at something else.
Piper thought of Nico and Will sitting side by side on the porch of Hades's cabin, the son of Hades with sparkling eyes as if all the horrible, trauma-induced things he had gone through had dissipated, leaving not even a dampening shadow. He looked happy. They looked happy. Hell, half a day ago, Piper still thought Nico di Angelo had lost his capacity to experience joy.
And that just made her sad. Much, much less than it did to Jason, though. Piper was sure of that.
Even without the resonating ability, her chest still hurt just by watching the longing look in Jason's cloudless skies.
Jason Grace was a man of fortitude. And also a master of disguise at that. Piper discovered the latter in a heart-wrenching way.
Hadn't it been for the love she could still see burning inside his soul, Piper would have bought the relaxing, enjoying facade Jason planted on his face as he traded light conversation with the young couple. His expressions betrayed nothing but contentment, sometimes sparkles of amusement at Will's antics or Nico's morbid jokes. They were everything one would expect to feel in lovely afternoon picnics such as that they were doing.
Except for the out-of-sorts humming that kept ringing silently in the back of Piper's head, hard to notice but pretty much indelible.
Now aware of her best friend's one-sided attraction, it'd started to become more and more difficult to enjoy the pleasant scene brought by Nico di Angelo and Will Solace. Don't get her wrong, Piper was very much happy for Nico to come out of his closet and find himself a nice boyfriend. Will Solace was everything of a kind gentleman, utterly sweet and caring much enough to respect Nico's choices - a sample for a perfect partner. Nevertheless, Jason was Piper's closest friend besides Leo and she was just as mortal as she was half-god. Her human pettiness made it hard to maintain an objective point of view.
She had to wonder if it bothered Jason as much as it did to her. The son of Jupiter didn't appear adverse to the loving scenes between Nico and Will - as someone with an unreciprocated love should have done to everything involving their crush. No, he never turned down Nico's invitation to join their gatherings. He didn't make excuses. He referred to those small picnics as his time of relaxing after work as though his soul hadn't missed a note every time Nico subconsciously leaned over Will.
It hurt. It damn hurt. Piper knew that because Jason's fingers would twitch a little when Will casually threw an arm behind the son of Hades and he had to avoid reaching out the same way by pretending to pop his stiffened joints. His smiles sometimes dropped a minuscule when Nico wasn't looking, seemingly too much for Jason to keep up his facade. His soul hummed forlornly in Piper's ears. Still, he didn't pull away. Jason never pulled away.
Why? Piper had no right to speak for the son of Jupiter, but she could tell it was because Nico's face would fall if Jason said no to him. His nod looked jerky and weak. A subtle gloom clouded the stars in his eyes as the pleasant curve on his lips morphed into a dispirited 'Oh'.
And if there was anything Piper had learned in her short visit, it was that Jason Grace, son of Jupiter, one of the Seven, the Legionaries' hero, could stand against many things - from monsters to Giants and Titans alike - but not just a speck of sadness on the son of Hades's face.
He would forfeit without hesitation if it meant for the smile on Nico di Angelo's lips to keep blooming.
Even himself, apparently.
Piper realized it in the middle of her and Nico's heartfelt conversation. It was supposed to be a small, sweet bonding session between two queer kids. The son of Hades had a hard time coming to terms with his sexuality - being born in the 30s Italy did that to you, pretty severely might Piper add, and it wasn't like his first romantic experience helped - and that just made his and Will's relationship more beautiful, more praise-worthy, precious even.
And then Nico, with embers of the past flickering in watery eyes and old wounds weighing on the trembling curve of his lips, looked at her and smiled brightly.
"Jason helped me a lot with it."
The forlorn tune picked up in Piper's mind. She tried to ignore it. "Yeah, he did?"
Nico's gaze returned to the bonfire. This time, the remembrance didn't seem excruciating to him, to the point that Piper would say it was kind of fond. "He was the first to know after Bianca. I was internally freaking out the whole time, but Jason acted like I wasn't a freak-"
"You aren't."
Nico laughed, a clear church bell-like sound. Piper wondered how much of that was Jason's doing. "I know, he's made it pretty clear. It's what helped me overcome myself."
He turned to her, suddenly sheepish and shy yet no less shining. Gratitude shone in his reminiscing gaze. He chuckled, or giggled, or smiled, Piper couldn't tell anymore. "Jason helped me with... uhm, the whole thing with Will, too, you know."
No, I didn't. Piper wanted to reply like that, wanted to ask, Did you know how much it hurt him? She imagined Jason sitting by Nico's side, his kindness muting the weeping of his hurting soul and twisting the words he must have so desired to speak out loud into what Nico so needed to hear. Because he would do everything for Nico - including pushing him away, into another's arms and killing himself alive in the process. Jason was just too kind.
And Piper didn't know whether the gratefulness carved deep in the son of Hades' eyes - his godsent platonic adoration, his infuriatingly pure friendship - made it better or worse. Nico loved Jason, Piper knew, but it wasn't in the way Jason wished. And she dreaded to guess whether it made Jason's heart swell or crack every time Nico smiled at him, fondness clear in his gaze, tragically not quite special as for someone else.
Nico, the blissfully oblivious object of affection he was, launched into a long tale of how his best friend had given him advice on his love life, perfectly unaware of the character's feelings. Jason reassured him of the mixed signals. Jason encouraged him to talk things out with Will. The son of Hades recited Jason's words like an angel's message of guidance. Oh, if only he'd known who was the angel in Jason's eyes.
Piper's chest ached for the son of Jupiter. Her throat ran dry, she wondered if Jason would be mad if she spelled it out for Nico right then and there. It hurt too much to watch.
Still, Piper lamented in silence.
It was after midnight when Piper finally arrived at Camp Half-Blood. The sun had yet to rise, thick silence wrapped itself across the infirmary and Jason's breaths had already evened out the minute she collapsed on the chair by his bed.
Piper could never find the darkness anything but nerve-wracking, yet Jason's face made the elongated night seem almost enchanting. In the light of dimming candles, his unconsciousness appeared no different from the ivory statues carved timeless on the walls deep in some buried temple, very much alive whilst just as much wilted away.
She tried not to think about how Jason was looking restful on the bed, between white sheets and hazy shadows that were painting little shapes on his color-drained features. Too restful, perhaps. His chest rises and falls in tune with the dancing shades. The ghostly crooked fingers reached out to him in gentle gray strokes akin to coaxing a child into their embrace. The air grew cold in Piper's throat.
"Don't worry. He'd pull through." Will Solace's voice rang through her mind, soft and firm.
Piper watched as the healer sluggishly made his way to sit next to her, slumping a bit on the wooden chair, yawning and knocking out a weary sigh in the process. He looked like a withered sunflower. Apollo's children had never been the brightest without the sunlight's presence, but hours of exerting himself to get Jason out of hock had certainly taken a toll on him. Piper didn't want to think about the implication of the injuries' severity.
Jason was always kind. Moreso when it came to one Nico di Angelo, Piper couldn't deny it if she tried. And now she wished he would stop being reckless for others' sake and start thinking for himself, for once. Seeing Will only turned her twisted thoughts louder. Good thing he didn't have mind reading ability, otherwise she wasn't sure even such a good-natured healer like him could cope nicely with whatever Piper had in her head regarding his little boyfriend.
"I know, Jason's tough. He wouldn't be defeated that easily." She tried for a light-hearted chuckle but it only sounded forced to her ears. Her vision blurred slightly. "Hell, he killed Giants and beat Gaea." He has been hurting all this time and he still smiles. "This damn thing won't keep him down for long."
There was a thought in the back of her mind, devastating and sad. The words swirled, resounding, whispering in that haunting voice of her mother's. Oh, dear, love can destroy a lot of things. Piper ignored it. She didn't dare think of it.
Will looked at her as if he knew something she didn't want him to.
"Jason won't give up, Piper."
He spoke with the absolute finality of a sun that would surely come after the cold long night. He shouldn't have. He wasn't cursed with Aphrodite's stupid love sensor, didn't see the fire eating up his best friend's soul at the same time his unrequited yet willing love plagued his soul with persistent saddening melodies. He shouldn't be talking all sagely like he understood everything when he was the one contributing to Jason's pain---
"He wouldn't leave Nico like that."
The words went quiet in Piper's mind, replaced by alarm bells flaring. She stared at the son of Apollo. One look into azure eyes and she knew he knew.
"How..." She croaked.
Will's smile was kind. He didn't seem bothered nor jealous by the possibility that another had a not-so-platonic affection for his boyfriend. He only looked sad. Piper failed to pinpoint what exactly he was sad for. "It isn't that hard to notice something you also have, you know."
Of course, Jason just had to love immense enough for a non-Aphrodite to find out. Damn him.
"Does Nico know?" Piper didn't know what answer she was hoping for.
"No, he doesn't."
Regardless, Will's reply tasted bitterly relieving on her tongue. Piper sagged on her chair, an arm covering her eyes. How ironic. It wasn't even supposed to be Will Solace. Piper couldn't bring herself to appreciate Nico's stupid oblivion, even if it was what Jason so much wanted. How could Pipper deal with all of this?
It's exasperating. It's maddening. It's hurt to watch. Jason and his pure, chivalrous, bottomless, selfless love. She had thought taking a shot for the one you loved was peak dedication. No, Jason Grace was a spectacular man, and everything he did was simply majestic, meritorious, astonishing to the point of incomprehensible.
Jason wouldn't leave Nico like that. Of course he wouldn't. Of course the first and foremost reason he gripped so tight to the thread of life was for the sake of Nico di Angelo's happiness - his great love, his angel, his god. For him, Piper had no doubt the son of Jupiter could die with a smile on his face and wrestle the Fates to come back to Nico's side if the boy so much as shed a single tear.
They were demigods whose lives were made all the more unwanted and precious by their ephemerality. Her best friend had practically dedicated his life to Nico di Angelo.
She could see it now. Jason Grace loved so genuinely, so immensely, so intensely that he didn't even consider himself in the picture. He loved Nico as if that was the air to his forsaken lungs. His priority had always been Nico - and Nico's happiness - whereas he himself wasn't included in the ranks. Nico could ride off into the sunset with Will and Jason would happily play his best man despite the hollowness in his chest. All willingly.
His love was nothing like what Aphrodite, or Eros, used to tell Piper. The absence of selfishness astounded her.
Piper shouldn't be surprised at this point, seriously. If there was anyone capable of exceeding the gods' fickle scale, it would be Jason. Even Will Solace had figured it out before her.
The healer didn't say anything for a while until he patted her shoulder gently and left with an unharmful "I'm gonna check on Nico. Call up one of my siblings when you feel like taking a nap, alright?"
Perhaps what Piper should have paid attention to was the indication that Nico was, too, suffering from Jason's injuries. But the only she could hear was the ringing bells in her head and Piper jerked to grab Will's arm just as he started shuffling to the door. He took only one look into her widened eyes before softly reassuring her.
"Don't worry, I won't tell him. Unless Jason wants me to, that is." His gaze was gentle but his tone was serious. Piper was grateful for that. She couldn't guarantee what she would do if he started laughing at Jason's secret.
Part of Piper briefly considered if it would be better if Will - or her, for that matter - told Nico everything, just to save Jason's undying love from dying pitifully, a meaningless consolation for his unacknowledged sacrifice even. She squeezed the healer's arm, nails digging into his skin.
But that wasn't what Jason wanted, was it? And contrary to popular belief, being a child of Aphrodite didn't grant Piper the right to speak for others' feelings.
Piper let Will go with a jerky nod. The son of Apollo didn't mention the moon-shaped crevices on his forearm.
Nico arrived with his boyfriend shortly after dawn, and Piper took a guilty little joy from seeing his red-rimmed eyes and bone-tired wave. His expressions mirrored Piper's worries. The son of Hades was just as devastated as her - if the way Will subtly fretted over him was any indication.
They brought breakfast for Piper and she sat with Nico, trying to ignore the gloomy topic by idle chat whilst Will worked on checking over Jason. The infirmary was bursting with shoutings and wails, Nico played the perfect role of an unattended party. His gaze never strayed away from Jason's sleeping form, seemingly seeing more than what met the eyes. Piper vaguely recalled he could sense people's life forces. Maybe it was similar to her Aphrodite sense.
You and me both, buddy, she thought mirthlessly.
The next time Piper entered the sterile-smelling room past midday, Nico was nowhere to be seen and Jason was thankfully awake, fully conscious, and normally perceiving. His soul sang merrily, undoubtedly a residual effect from Nico's visit. His face had gained back the blazing vigor and he looked almost healthy when he waved at her from the bed. Will was right after all. Piper couldn't help but crush Jason in a tight hug.
It was all routine after that. Jason's tendency for life-threatening situations wasn't new and Piper was used to him basically crawling his way out of death's hands. That was to say: had it been not for Will's firm establishment of "No violence in the medical environment (unless required)", she would have bashed Jason's head into the wall.
There was only one thing to ask. Fortunately, Nico was busy grabbing lunches for all of them.
"Are you planning to tell him before you die, Jason?"
She might have sounded too exasperated. Piper couldn't help it. She watched Jason fall silent again, his lips a thin, unshakable line. The tune hummed softly.
Piper heard the answer before he even shook his head or opened his mouth.
It didn't hurt her as much as the first time, knowing Jason was the happiest as long as he got to love Nico. Maybe years after this, she would have a chance to sit Nico di Angelo down and tell him everything he deserved to know - those that Jason deserved to speak up. It didn't matter how Nico thought of it, such a great love shouldn't end up in darkness.
But for now, Piper had to resort to watching Jason's soul light up in shimmering indigo and listening to the wistfully dulcet melody it sang.