Chapter Text
*when we first met
Tell your best friend (s)he can slide too
7:21 AM; Location: GC Jitters
Ryan was in her favorite coffee shop waiting for her name to get called so she could leave. She was also discreetly checking out a stranger from across the room. She had been making mutual heart eyes with said stranger, a very attractive Amazonian esque woman for about a week now. But their interactions pretty much stopped at a smile and a head nod of acknowledgement so she was surprised when said woman actually approached her on this random, shitty Friday morning.
“Hi,” she said with a gorgeous smile.
Ryan stared at her for a few seconds as her brain lagged. She shook her head when she noticed that the pause was getting too long. “Sorry, hey.”
The woman’s smile disarmed her. “So, I’ve noticed you around here, and I was hoping I could buy your coffee today and… perhaps get to know you?”
Ryan balked. The hot stranger was actually asking her out. Now, on the inside she was very happy about that, but it didn’t show on the outside because she was completely caught off guard. She also wasn’t in a good mood, which meant she didn’t feel like socializing. Why did she have to approach today of all days? Damn it.
When Ryan continued staring at her, she could see the smile start to waver. So she did the only thing she could think of.
She let her down easy.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t actually live around here,” she said with a wince, her brain screaming ‘why?’ with every word she spoke. She meant to delay her, not keep her from ever asking again. “I’ve just been visiting a friend.”
“Ah. Okay,” the woman said easily. “Well you miss one hundred percent of the shots you don’t take, right?” she said, smiling once again as if she hadn’t just been rejected. Then she held her hand out. “I’m Sophie by the way.”
When Ryan shook her extended hand, she couldn’t help but notice how soft and smooth it was. “Leslie.”
The stranger gave her a weird look, but let go of her hand with a slow nod and a breathy laugh. Just then the barista called for a ‘Ryan’ and the woman in front of her smirked at her panicked expression. She leaned in slightly and lowered her voice to a mock whisper.
“I think that’s you.” She leaned back up, grin still in place as she walked away.
Ryan squeezed her eyes shut from the embarrassment of being caught up in her lie. Of course the hot stranger would know her name. They’d been in the same coffee shop making eyes at each other for who knows how long. This is why her ass didn’t like lying. Too much thinking required.
She tried to make eye contact with the stranger, named Sophie apparently, but she was too busy typing furiously on her phone. Ryan imagined that she was telling her friends because that’s what she would have done but there was really no way to be sure. All she was sure of was that Sophie was no longer paying her any attention. Which is fine because she read the signals she put out, but also not fine because she didn’t mean to put those signals out.
Ryan was glad people could read thoughts because her mind was a few thoughts away from spiraling. Whatever, she couldn’t deal with this right now. She got her coffee and dipped.
Ryan made a mental note to savor this cup of coffee because that was the absolute last time she was ever showing her face in that fine establishment.
5:02 PM; Location: Apartment
“Do you mind if I invite Luke over? Or do you want this to just be a girl’s night like we originally planned?”
Mary and Ryan were sitting on the couch of their apartment. Friday nights were usually a night where they made time for each other and generally hung out. Tonight they settled on a movie night.
Ryan looked up from her phone and shook her head. “Nah, Luke’s cool people.” She smirked. “Besides, who am I to stand in the way of blossoming young love?”
Mary choked on nothing then glared at her best friend as she cackled. “Luke and I are friends, Ryan! How many times do I have to say that?”
“You can say it as many times as you want. Doesn’t make it true.” Mary just glared at her with a faint blush on her cheeks so Ryan took mercy on her and decided to play nice. “Why are you running from your feelings again? You know he’s feeling you too so it can’t be an ‘afraid of rejection’ thing.”
Mary sighed. She did know that Luke liked her too, at least a little bit. Definitely more than a friend. “Things between Luke and I are so… easy. Hanging out with him, talking to him, all of it. It’s honestly so refreshing meeting someone and clicking like that right off the bat.” She looked over at Ryan before looking away again. “I guess I’m just terrified that if I go there with him, things will be just as bad as before. You know how terribly my last relationship was.” She groaned loudly and tossed her phone to the side. “Is that ridiculous? Because I feel ridiculous saying that out loud. This is so stupid.”
“Okay, first of all, no. That’s a valid concern for a person who went through a toxic on and off relationship for multiple years,” Ryan reassured her. “Hear me out and think about it this way for a second: Your bad relationship gave you the ability to recognize red flags better, right?”
Mary thought about it. “Yeah, I guess you can say that.”
“Then you already know what to look out for, subtle and not. Now, you’ve been talking to Luke for a couple of months now, right?”
“Going on five months, but yeah.”
Ryan blinked. “Damn it’s been that long?” She shook her head and got herself back on track. “Whatever, not the point. Anyway, has he given you and red flags?”
“People don’t just start off with their toxic traits on display, Ryan,” Mary pointed out. “He could be easing his way in, making me feel secure before pulling the rug out from underneath me.”
“Okay so not glaring red flags. Pink flags then,” she amended. “Things he says or does that gives you a little pause but don’t quite make you feel some type of way.”
Mary searched her mind for all of two seconds, and she already had her answer. “No,” she said smiling softly. “He’s really sweet.”
“Then there you go,” Ryan said, leaning back and resting her case. “Luke is not like your pathetic ass bitch ass ex.” Okay so she still had some animosity despite it being well over a year. He should just be glad that she didn’t kick his ass like she wanted to. “And if it’s still too intimidating, you can always go so slow,” Ryan offered as a solution, but she saw that Mary was still hesitant. “I’m only pushing this because I can see how much you like him. You light up when y’all talk. But the decision is still ultimately yours, Mary. I’m not saying you have to date him if you really don’t want to.”
“Where do I even start?” Mary asked shyly, becoming more open to the idea. “How do I make the jump from friends to relationship?”
“You start,” Ryan began, reaching over to grab Mary’s phone and place it in her hand, “with inviting him to movie night.”
Mary smiled and pulled up her text threads with Luke to do just that. She hit send, and as she waited on the reply, she turned back to thank her friend. “Thanks, Ry, for the advice.”
Ryan smiled at her. “Of course.”
Mary perked up when her phone dinged to indicate a text but deflated upon reading the message.
Ryan cringed. “He doesn’t want to come?”
“It’s not that,” she said miserably. “He’s spending time with his best friend tonight. Apparently this is her last night in the city for a while.”
“Girl.” Ryan stared at her with a blank expression. “The solution is so simple.”
“What?”
“Tell him his best friend can slide too.” She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Mary looked unsure. “Huh?”
“Luke’s a chill dude so I bet his best friend is too,” Ryan said with a shrug. “If you want to see him, invite them both.”
Mary squealed and relayed the message to Luke. Ryan couldn’t help but smile at how happy Mary looked just from texting Luke. She didn’t mind making small talk with Luke’s best friend for a few hours if the end result was them finally getting together, something she was sure the best friend would agree with if she was any good.
“He said they’ll come through and asked if there was anything we needed them to bring,” Mary said with a giggle.
Ryan laughed quietly. Luke was just proving her point. “We should be good to go,” she said after a small silence. But Mary was already checked out and Ryan’s response went unanswered anyway so it didn’t matter.
A few short hours later, there was a knock on the door, and Mary looked at Ryan with a look of excitement mixed with fear. “They’re here!” she whispered loudly.
Ryan stared back at her with a raised eyebrow and a barely held back smile. “You want to open the door for them?” she teasingly whispered back, just as loud.
Mary’s eyes widened, and she rushed towards the door. She flung it open to see Luke and his best friend standing there. It appeared that she had just interrupted a private conversation between the two. Judging by the warning look Luke shot the woman, Ryan guessed it was him telling her to behave.
When Ryan’s eyes finally registered who the best friend actually was, she froze. “Oh shit,” she whispered. It was hot stranger from the coffee shop.
Mary appeared to be equally shocked. “Sophie?!”
Now Ryan was really confused because how the fuck did Mary know her too? This was some wild ass shit.
“Mary?!” Sophie turned back to Luke. “This is the woman you have feel—“ she abruptly stopped talking with a wince. “…finally befriended. I was definitely going to say finally befriended.”
Mary giggled and let them in. Luke elbowed Sophie in the gut while Mary was busy locking the door behind them. To Sophie’s credit, she took it like a champ, mouthing ‘sorry’ to him. Her eyes finally landed on Ryan and widened a bit. “Oh, wow. Is it just me or is the world getting smaller by the second?” she walked over to her and held her hand out. “Hello again. I’m Sophie.”
Ryan shook her hand slowly. “I remember.”
Luke and Mary exchanged confused looks. “Damn, first Soph and Mary, now y’all know each other too?”
While Ryan was trying to figure out a way to explain their weird situation in a way that was comfortable for everyone, Sophie took it upon herself to answer. “Not really. We’ve run into each other at the GC Jitters around the corner a few times is all.”
Luke nodded in understanding. “Oh yeah. I still can’t believe you drove all the way out there for two weeks straight, just for a girl who doesn’t even know you exist, only to get rejected.”
“Damn,” Mary laughed. “How far was the drive?”
“She lives right across the street from a coffee shop, but she saw a pretty girl once after she spent the night at her sister’s place so now she wakes up thirty minutes earlier just so she can drive out here for a chance to make eye contact.”
“You make me sound like a stalker,” Sophie muttered, shaking her head at him. Why was her best friend exposing her like this?
“You have to admit you were giving stalker energy.”
Sophie’s face was red as she avoided looking in Ryan’s general direction. She was going to kill Luke after she told him that coffee shop girl was Ryan who, by the way, was suspiciously quiet. Sophie wondered how she felt about the new revelations, but she wasn’t about to look at her face to check her expression. “Okay can we not embarrass me in front of new friends? Let them get to know me first, damn.”
“My bad,” Luke laughed and held up his hands. He had forgotten that they weren’t all friends yet since he was already comfortable with Mary and Ryan, having been to their place a few times before to hang out. “Oh I forgot to ask but how do you and Mary know each other?”
“She dated my stepsister for a while,” Mary explained.
“Yeah uh…” Sophie looked around the apartment anxiously. “She’s not here, right?”
“Wait, hold up, time out,” Ryan said, making a ‘T’ with her arms like a referee. “You’re Kate’s ex?”
“Also just known as Sophie,” she said with a grimace. She took another glance around. “Seriously though, is she here? Or will she be making an appearance?”
“You’re good,” Mary reassured her, laughing at the sigh of relief Sophie let out. “What’s wrong with seeing her?”
“Nothing normally, but lately, I don’t know, she got it in her head that we should give it another try. There’s only so many times I can let her down easy before I get mean. And I’d like to preserve our friendship so...”
“So you’re avoiding her?”
“Yup.”
“Because avoiding her is a great way to do that,” Luke quipped sarcastically while shaking his head. “Communication isn’t at all important.”
Sophie snapped her head around to look at him in disbelief. “Okay after all the pining I’ve witnessed from you, I don’t want to hear any relationship or relationship adjacent advice. Especially not about communication.”
“Fair,” Luke pretended to concede. “But can we redirect back to your coffee shop crush real quick?”
“She actually asked her out though,” Mary joined, causing Sophie to become smug.
“Thank you, Mary,” Sophie sung with a smirk on her face. She held up the bottle that neither Ryan nor Mary noticed she had been holding the entire time. “Luke and I went half on this. I know you said we didn’t need to bring anything, but it didn’t feel right showing up empty handed.”
Mary smiled. “Thanks, I’ll show you where to put it.”
She reached for it, but Sophie held it out of her reach causing her to frown.
“Or,” Sophie started, “Ryan can show me where to put it while you and Luke pick out the first movie of the night. It’ll be better that way.”
Luke frowned at her. “What are you talking about?”
“I have terrible taste in movies. I shouldn’t be trusted with movie picking decisions,” Sophie continued, ignoring Luke and focusing solely on Mary as she tried to look as innocent as possible.
Ryan caught on to what she was doing and immediately joined in. “Yeah and I really don’t care what we watch so I’d be pretty useless at picking the movie right now too,” she chimed in.
Mary frowned at her. “You’re literally the pickiest, most particular movie watcher I know.”
“Well, there you go,” Ryan said, gesturing with her hands. “My standards are too high. Either way, y’all should pick the movie.”
“Alone. Together,” Sophie sounded in. Luke shot her his warning look, but all she did was smile at him completely unfazed by it.
“Okay,” Mary said slowly with narrowed eyes. She caught on too, but she wouldn’t complain about more time alone with Luke. “Come, Luke. I guess we’re picking the movie.”
“Take as much time as you need,” Sophie said with a pleased grin. “Ryan and I will prepare the drinks and get the snacks and all that while you two get the perfect movie.”
“Look at that, another reason!” Ryan didn’t know why she was talking. “I used to be a bartender so I’d definitely be of better use in the kitchen while you two pick the movie.”
“Okay, Ryan, you already sold it,” Mary deadpanned. “Now you’re just overdoing it.”
Sophie snickered. “We’re going now,” she said while walking backwards towards the kitchen, prompting Ryan to do the same. “You two should just focus on each other.” She took an unnecessary pause. “I mean the movie.”
Luke rolled his eyes at his best friend’s cheeky grin. Mary shook her head, took his hand and dragged him away. Before they could get too far, he looked down at their interlocked hands then looked back at Sophie with a huge smile and shot her a dorky thumbs up with his free hand.
Sophie was still laughing softly to herself when she and Ryan got to the kitchen. To be fair, it wasn’t that far away. It was still an apartment after all.
“What are we doing with this?” she asked.
“We don’t have shot glasses so I guess we can sip from the cups,” she said gesturing to the red solo cups on top of the fridge. She didn’t know why Mary insisted on keeping them up there. They both were short as hell. Sophie nodded and did as told while Ryan got to work popping bags of popcorn for everyone else. She had prepared tortilla hummus cups for herself in advance plus a lot extra in case anyone else wanted some. She already knew that Mary did.
“Can I ask you something?” Sophie asked after a few seconds of watching Ryan move gracefully around the kitchen.
Ryan sighed. She knew there had to be a secondary reason for Sophie getting them alone. Of course she would want to talk about what happened at GC Jitters earlier. “Yeah, what’s up?”
“Mary is into Luke, right?”
“Listen, I—“ Wait, what? “Huh?”
“Because I encouraged him to make a move before the night is over. If things don’t go the way he wants them to, I want to be prepared.”
“Oh.” Ryan was so caught off guard that ‘oh’ was the best she could come up with.
“Yeah so am I going to be on the receiving end of passive aggressive quips for the foreseeable future or am I going to be accepting the award for best friend who ever best friended?”
“Uh… the award one.”
Sophie let out an audible sigh of relief. “Well that’s good news. I swear if this didn’t work out I would never hear the end of it. Especially not after my last attempt at playing matchmaker.” She winced at the memory.
It honestly wasn’t her fault. Stephanie Brown is a good woman. How was she supposed to know that she and Luke were rivals in high school?
Apparently they were both team captains of their high school’s debate team, and they always went against each other in the finals? And Luke’s school won the last year on a technicality that she somehow blames him for? She wasn’t able to piece together the entire story but she got most of it when they both ranted at her, separately for about a week straight.
Whatever. It really was a small fucking world. It was like everyone in Gotham knew each other.
They went back to silently preparing snacks, taking way more time than necessary for the sake of the budding romance in the other room. Sophie killed a few more minutes by taking out her phone and texting a few people back, but she really just wanted to sit down and relax.
It seemed like the shorter woman in the room sensed that she was about to leave the kitchen because Ryan placed her hand on top of hers and caught her eyes. “Hey, can we talk about what happened?”
Sophie frowned. “What with Luke and Mary? I thought—”
“It’s not about that,” Ryan said, closing her eyes for a second then opening them again. “I meant about this morning in the coffee shop.”
“Oh.” Sophie blew out a breath. “There’s not really anything to talk about, is there?”
“Isn’t there though? I lied to you.”
“Not a big deal.”
“Maybe a little bit of a deal though?”
Sophie laughed softly and shook her head. “Ryan, it’s not a crime to be uninterested. Hell, I’ve fake named a few people before. It happens.”
Ryan sighed. “I just wanted to apologize for how I reacted when you approached me.”
“No apology necessary, I promise.”
“Still, I feel kind of bad. Especially since the lie was so obvious. I’m sorry.”
“You shouldn’t feel bad,” Sophie said, trying her best to reassure her. “It was good for me.”
Ryan looked like she didn’t believe her. “How could anything about that embarrassing mess possibly have been good for you?”
“It kept my ego reasonable,” she replied with a straight face. Ryan couldn’t take her seriously so she busted out laughing. “No, seriously! I was starting to feel myself a little bit too much. If I would have gotten your number? My ego would have gotten out of control for sure. You put me back in my place. Honestly, I should be thanking you for keeping me humble.”
“God, you’re so annoying,” Ryan laughed.
“Annoying, huh? That’s one of the defining qualities of a good friend.” She dramatically placed her free hand over her heart. “Ryan, is this the start of our friendship?”
“Shut up!”
“All I’m saying is that friends have their own inside jokes. Our very first one can be that time you rejected me in a coffee shop then gave me a fake name even though I already knew your real one.”
“RYAN WAS COFFEE SHOP GIRL?!” Mary screamed in surprise, causing both of them to jump at the unexpected intrusion. Luke was in the background laughing at the embarrassed look on his best friend’s face.
“Guess it’s not an inside joke anymore,” she muttered to Ryan, gently removing the hand that Ryan forgot was still on top of hers.
“Wait,” Mary grinned, “That means that the girl you woke up an drove an extra thirty minutes for was this head ass?”
“So we got a movie yet?” Sophie loudly asked, walking determinedly out of the kitchen and leaving Ryan to fend for herself.
Mary stared at her best friend. “You know we’re talking about this later, right?”
Ryan sighed. “I figured as much.” She wasn’t too mad though. She also had an inkling that Sophie was right about the start of their friendship.
*at 1 AM
Just got back out this way/You already got plans for the city/Call ‘em off, can you call ‘em off for me/You’re always going on and on
[20:37 PM] Ryan❤️: heyyy😊
Ryan pouted at her phone when she realized there was still no reply even though it had been two hours. She knew that Sophie wasn’t ignoring her. She was just preoccupied on her business trip. And Ryan wasn’t exactly upset about it. She just missed her. Very much.
Over the last few months, the two of them actually became really good friends as Sophie predicted. It started off as group hangs so that they could be friendly buffers for their emotionally cautious best friends. That was until Mary got tired of waiting on Luke and finally asked him out instead. The four of them still hung out sometimes, but now the two of them just enjoyed each other’s company on their own. Ryan learned a lot about Sophie, and she was both charmed and impressed by her.
Sophie worked for the Crows for a few years, doing her best to change things from the inside. She quickly gave up on that hopeless dream and left with a couple of other people. She now co-owned her own Private Investigation and Security Firm with a childhood friend of hers. It had been doing pretty well, specifically the last couple of years, hence the reason she was out of town—opening secondary offices and training facilities.
Ryan glanced down at her phone once more and sighed when there still wasn’t a reply even though it had only been two minutes since she last checked. She was crushing. Hard.
“Girl, get a grip,” she muttered, rolling her eyes at herself. This waiting by the phone act she had going on was bordering on pathetic, and she needed a distraction. Mary was out so she went to the living room to put something. Luckily, Ryan was able to find a show to get lost in. Before she even realized it, it was after one in the morning.
A smile overtook her face when she realized that she also had a text from Sophie.
[01:06 AM] Soph🥰: sorry i’m so late replying... just drove all the way back to Gotham but i’m home now
[01:11 AM] Ryan❤️: nah you’re good. I figured you were busy
[01:11 AM] Soph🥰: um excuse me ma’am why are you awake at this late hour?
[01:12 AM] Ryan❤️: 🌚🌚 wouldn’t you like to know
[01:12 AM] Soph🥰: 👀👀
[01:12 AM] Ryan❤️: girl anyway 😂😂 what you doing tomorrow
[01:12 AM] Ryan❤️: or later today i guess
[01:13 AM] Soph🥰: already got plans for the city
[01:13 AM] Soph🥰: ya girl been missed😂 got a few places I can slide
[01:13 AM] Ryan❤️: yeah I know bc i’m one of the people who missed you but you always going on and on🙄😒
Ryan bit her lip, wondering if what she wanted to say next was too much or not. Then she said fuck it and sent the message, ‘Mama ain’t raise no bitch’ mindset and all that.
[01:13 AM] Ryan❤️: call off your plans for me😂
Immediately after she pressed send, she put the phone face down on the bed and distracted herself with brushing her teeth. She needed to do something to calm her nerves after such a risky text. She finished up in the bathroom and turned off all the lights. When she picked up her phone, she had to do a double take.
[01:15 AM] Soph🥰: okay
She grinned when she reread it and realized that her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her. Ryan got into bed as she texted Sophie back.
[01:18 AM] Ryan❤️: wait fr? I was just playing
[01:18 AM] Soph🥰: nah, I got you
[01:18 AM] Soph🥰: I can push all my plans back to tonight so i can make time for you during the day
[01:18 AM] Soph🥰: or would you prefer me to push them up and come at night?
[01:19 AM] Ryan❤️: night so you don’t have to leave to meet up with someone else
[01:19 AM] Soph🥰: ah, save the best for last, huh?
[01:19 AM] Ryan❤️: you already know wassup😂
[01:20 AM] Soph🥰: “this is the way”
[01:20 AM] Ryan❤️: you’re so lame💀
[01:20 AM] Soph🥰: i’m also tired so i’m about to crash, but i’ll be sure to text you tomorrow
[01:21 AM] Ryan❤️: 😌 bet
[01:22 AM] Soph🥰: good night, Leslie
She rolled her eyes at that one and wondered when Sophie would finally let it go.
[01:22 AM] Ryan❤️: omfg g’night, Sophie!
[01:24 AM] Ryan❤️: sleep well…
[01:24 AM] Ryan❤️: 😘
[01:25 AM] Soph🥰: ❤️
Ryan sighed happily as she settled into her sheets. She couldn’t wait to spend tomorrow night, later tonight rather, with her… friend.
*under your breath
I said yes to going out tonight/Oh I ain’t did that in a minute
“Where you going all dressed up?” Mary asked. She just walked into her best friend’s room to find her in the connected bathroom wearing a red skintight dress doing her make up in the mirror.
“I have a date.”
“Oh yay!” she squealed. “Sophie finally asked you out? Because I know your scary ass ain’t do it. I can’t believe neither of you told me!”
Ryan paused her movements for a second before resuming. It was brief, but nothing got passed Mary’s astute observations. “What was that reaction for?”
“My date is not with Sophie.”
Mary frowned. She must have heard wrong. “What did you say?”
Ryan put the finishing touches on then turned to face her. “How do I look?”
“Bad as hell like usual,” she replied honestly. “You’re definitely going to be turning heads tonight.”
“Good.” The attention would be nice. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing to want some every now and then. It was good for the ego.
“Back to the important thing. Who is your date with?” She had a thought and shrieked in disgust. “Please tell me that it isn’t Angelique! I will literally hire a hit man for her then order a psych evaluation for you.”
“Girl!” Ryan let out a loud and surprised laugh. “No it isn’t her, with your dramatic ass.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “Okay then I support you. Who is she then?”
“Remember Imani?”
“Oh, she’s cute and enjoyable to be around.” Mary opened her mouth then hesitated, unsure if she should ask. She meant what she said, she supported Ryan’s decision. That didn’t stop her from being a curios though.
Ryan quirked an amused eyebrow at her friend’s contemplative look. It honestly wasn’t that deep. “You can ask, Mary.”
“What happened with things between you and Sophie?”
“Nothing,” Ryan groaned. “That’s the point. I’m sick of the back and forth, the ‘will we won’t we’ of it all. I think I deserve a nice night out with someone other than my friends. I ain’t did that in a minute.”
“Okay that’s fair,” Mary said softly. “But have you stopped to consider that maybe the reason she hasn’t asked you out is because you rejected her the first time?”
“Wait, did Sophie say that? Is that really how she feels?” Mary looked panicked. Being best friends for years meant that they knew how to read each other. Ryan already had her answer, but she needed verbal confirmation. But before Mary could respond, her phone started to ring. Ryan narrowed her eyes. “Don’t you dare answer that—”
“Hey, Luke!” Mary said with an obnoxious smile directed at her best friend. “I have never liked you more than I do right now in this moment,” she said as she walked away and proceeded to exit the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Ryan huffed and went out to wait in the living room. She sat on the couch with her things but didn’t have to wait long because the doorbell rang shortly after. Thinking it was her date, Ryan grabbed her clutch and went to the door. She placed her hand on the handle, blew out a calming breath, and twisted it open with a soft smile.
It dropped a second later when she realized that it was not her date at the door. It was Sophie.
“Oh. Damn,” Sophie breathed out, stunned by the beauty of the woman in front of her. She didn’t realize she had been staring until she looked up and saw the smug look on her friend’s face. “Uh, sorry. You look, wow, I mean, uh… hey?” She had to clear her throat because her voice cracked on the hey.
Ryan couldn’t help the light laugh. She had never seen Sophie stumble and stutter like this before. “Hey, Soph.” She gestured for her to come in, and Sophie thanked her as she did so.
“Holy shit,” Sophie cursed under her breath after she passed by, still in awe. Her mouth felt dry for some reason. Her thirsty ass needed some water. “I’m fucked.”
Ryan was close enough to hear but nice enough to not comment. That didn’t do much though since she couldn’t keep the smirk off her face. It dropped at Sophie’s next inquiry.
“Where are you going looking like that? Hot date?”
The goofy grin on her face told Ryan that she meant it as a joke. She winced, and Sophie immediately clocked it, her smile faltering as slight worry came in. But Ryan answered before she could ask if she was okay.
“Yeah, actually…”
“Oh,” she said dumbly. Her smile completely dropped for a second before a confused one took its place complete with scrunched eyebrows. “You have a date.”
It wasn’t a question but Ryan answered anyway. “Yeah,” she quietly confirmed.
Sophie nodded to herself a couple of times then relaxed her face into a small smile, though it was a little strained. “Well, you look beautiful, and… I hope you have a lovely time.”
The real kicker was the sincerity in her eyes and in her voice when she said that. Ryan could tell she meant it, and that made her heart squeeze a little. She wasn’t an idiot. She knew that Sophie had some sort of feelings for her no matter how hard she tried to hide it and or play it off as a joke ninety percent of the time.
When Ryan accepted the date, it was supposed to be harmless. Her and Sophie had been in their little flirt limbo for going on three months now, and honestly she needed to go out after the week she had. Things with Sophie were complicated, and she wanted easy for an evening. Though they were, admittedly, coming both sides, she wanted a night without all the mixed signals. A night with every intention clear and no guessing games.
Technically, Ryan wasn’t doing anything wrong. Both her and Sophie were still single. So why did it feel like she was betraying her? “Look, Soph, I—“
“Hey!” Mary said, coming out of her room. “You’re here early.”
Sophie turned from Ryan to smile at Mary. “Yeah, is that okay? My sister ditched me, and your place is close to hers. It was smarter to come straight here rather than go all the way home just to turn right back around.”
Mary waved her off. “You know you can show up anytime.” Then her eyes landed on Ryan and widened slightly. “Oh shit… This is awkward.”
Ryan rolled her eyes. Sometimes she wanted to smack her best friend.
“Well this is getting weird so I’m going to politely excuse myself to the bathroom,” Sophie said. She turned to do just that when Ryan called out to her.
“Sophie, wait.”
Sophie paused and looked over her shoulder at her. “Yeah?”
Ryan regretted it because what was she supposed to say? What was there to say? “I… thank you,” she settled on saying. “For what you said.”
Mary’s eyes bounced back and forth as if she were watching a tennis match.
“Of course,” Sophie smiled. It hurt that it didn’t even look fake. From Ryan’s perspective, that meant that she didn’t care about them being together as much as she hoped. “And I meant it. I really do hope you have a good night.”
*with clenched fists
Don’t let a lot of people in/But you get admission/I don’t let my walls down/But I see us building
Ryan opened her door, and, before she could greet her unexpected yet always welcome guest, Sophie marched in with a determined look on her face.
“Sophie! Just… make yourself at home,” she said, half sarcastically as she watched in confusion as her friend paced around.
Sophie stopped pacing and took several deep breaths. She looked at Ryan, opened her mouth, then shook her head and continued pacing. This process was repeated a couple more times before Ryan decided to step in.
Ryan grabbed her arm. “Please stop pacing. You’re going to give me motion sickness.”
Sophie stopped pacing and clenched her fists. Though it was rare, it was a move Ryan had come to recognize. It was a move that meant that Sophie was nervous which meant that it was a move that made Ryan curious.
“You went on a date last week,” she finally said.
Though it was said casually, the simple words instantly put Ryan on the defensive. She didn’t know where this conversation was going, but it couldn’t be good. Sophie had been kind of dodging her all week which was toeing the line of red flag in her opinion. It reminded her of all the times Angelique ignored her when she didn’t get what she wanted from her.
“Are we really doing this?“ she asked in disbelief.
“Just hear me out,” Sophie said gently, lip twitching as she got her feelings and thoughts together. “You went on a date last week, and… I was jealous. I came to apologize.”
Well that threw Ryan for a loop. “What?”
“I know I’ve been an asshole to you lately. Avoiding you and being short in text messages. I was just hurt because I kind of thought we were building towards something. But you have no commitments to me, and you’re fully within your rights to date freely. Obviously. And as your friend, I should have accepted that, but I didn’t.” Her facial expression told Ryan that she was genuinely disappointed in herself. “I’m really sorry.”
“Sophie…”
“That being said, if you’re okay with it, I would like to take you out on a date sometime.” She looked confident but her eyes gave her away when they widened slightly in response to Ryan’s eyes widening, but she wasn’t about to take it back. “Not even exclusively. I’m not asking for commitment, just a chance.”
Ryan was still gobsmacked as she watched Sophie take a small step closer to her. She wanted to reach out for her hand, but they were still a good distance away from each other and she hadn’t remembered how to properly form sentences yet, let alone move. “Sophie…”
“You obviously don’t have to say yes,” she rushed out nervously. “If you don’t want that, then I’ll be content just being your friend. I promise not to hide to lick my wounds again.”
Ryan nodded slowly and walked closer to Sophie and reached for her hands, causing her to finally unclench her fists as she met her halfway. “Can I think about it?”
“Of course, Ryan. Take as much time as you need.” A flash of hurt crossed Sophie’s features, but the sincerity never left her eyes. She gently removed her hands from Ryan’s and shoved them into her pockets. “Do you, um. Do you want me to leave? Give you a little… space?”
“No,” Ryan admitted. She noted the small smile that appeared on Sophie’s lips at the admission but asked anyway. “Do you want to leave?”
“Not really.” Sophie looked away sheepishly. “I know it’s only been a week, but I kind of really missed you.”
Ryan smiled. “I ‘kind of really’ missed you too.”
Sophie couldn’t hide her smile even as she ducked her head. “So, you want to watch a movie or something?”
“Yeah, but can I ask you something first?”
“You can ask me anything.”
“Did you mean it?” At Sophie’s puzzled look, Ryan was forced to elaborate. “Last week when I… you said you hoped I had a good time.”
“Yeah. Of course I meant it.”
Ryan frowned. “First, to clear the air, you have feelings for me, right? Romantic feelings?”
“You already know the answer to that,” Sophie said with a blush as she looked away. “Where is this going? Why are you asking me this?”
“Just answer the question. Please.” Ryan was tired of playing games. She needed to be sure, and for that to happen, she need Sophie to tell her straight up. No more mixed signals. No more hints and clues.
Sophie took a breath as she looked up to meet Ryan’s eyes, but her blush didn’t fade away. If anything, it intensified. “Yes, Ryan. I have romantic feelings for you.”
And Ryan figured as much, but that’s also what she wasn’t understanding. Her frown deepened. “Then why on earth would you say that you wanted me to have a good time? How did you actually mean it?”
It was Sophie’s turn to frown. “I’m not sure I really understand the question. Just because I was bitter about your date doesn’t mean I wanted you to be miserable on it. You deserve to be treated right.”
“Even if that meant I found someone else? Shit, what if after the date I agreed to keep seeing her?”
Sophie tilted her head. She wasn’t aware of that information. “So… You’re not seeing her anymore?”
Ryan shook her head. “It was a onetime thing. It just didn’t feel right.” ‘Because she wasn’t you.’
“Oh.” Sophie looked bewildered. “Well. I can’t say I’m mad about that,” she grinned. But when Ryan narrowed her eyes, she sighed. “Look, Ryan, I know I’ve probably been confusing you. Flirting with you but not making my intentions clear. And, to tell you the truth, I didn’t even know what my intentions were—if I wanted to be the one to cross that line or not. But then you went on that date, and it got me thinking. If someone were treating me the way I was treating you, I wouldn’t take them seriously either. I mean why would you consider me when all I’ve been doing is messing around?”
“I did consider you,” Ryan admitted. “But I didn’t know if you really considered me.”
“Well I’m changing that. I’m here to tell you that I’m definitely interested. And if I still have a chance, I want to take it.”
Ryan rolled the words around in her head. She didn’t know why she was hesitating. This was what she wanted. If Sophie had said these words just a week or so ago, before her date, she would have jumped at the chance. But part of her couldn’t help but wonder if Sophie only wanted her because someone else showed her interest. Angelique would do that all the time—be negligent then become the perfect girlfriend at the prospect of losing Ryan to someone else. Then when the “threat” was gone, she would go back to her old ways. Would Sophie go back to the shitty behavior she displayed the past week if Ryan entertained someone else again? Or if Ryan did something that upset her?
Logically, Ryan knew it wasn’t fair to compare them. The thought of Sophie being anything like Angelique was laughable. For one, Angelique never would have apologized and she never would have seen her behavior as shitty because it was always Ryan’s fault somehow.
But still. Just like she told Mary to, Ryan had to learn from her past, and this was weird behavior.
“How about you think about this later? I know you have a lot to think about, but it doesn’t have to be right now.” Sophie reached out for Ryan’s hand and looked her in the eyes. “Just know that I’m not going anywhere… even if you decide you just want to be friends. Okay?”
“Okay,” Ryan smiled. Sophie didn’t know it yet, but she just solidified her decision with that one reassurance. “Let’s watch a movie or something.”
If Ryan was being honest, she had kind of been waiting for Sophie to mess up. Angelique was always in the back of her head, reminding her just how much relationships could hurt if you weren’t careful. But this entire exchange just reaffirmed that Sophie was cut from a different cloth. There was no way she would ever hurt Ryan on purpose. Sophie wasn’t malicious or spiteful, and she had no nefarious ulterior motives.
Right then and there, Ryan decided that one regretted mistake wasn’t enough for her to write someone off, not someone as genuine as Sophie. It was time for her to let go and stop overanalyzing and looking for red flags. It was time to let the pain of Angelique go. It was time for a clean slate. It was time for Ryan to let someone else into her heart.
Sophie specifically.
*before our first kiss
Wait, what did you do to me/Way past infatuation/This connection that we made
“I had a really good time,” Sophie said, looking at Ryan with a soft smile.
They were currently standing in front of Ryan’s apartment door. Sophie was dropping her off after their first official date. It started off a little awkward, but they quickly realized that it was just hanging out, and that was something they did all the time.
Sophie took Ryan to a mini golf place then to get food. When the new ‘Golf Goers’ opened up not too far out of the city a few weeks ago, Ryan mentioned she had never been. Sophie naturally remembered because she hung onto almost every single word out of the other woman’s mouth. It was a really sweet gesture that meant a lot to Ryan, especially considering that the comment was so off handed that she herself had forgotten she even said. The fact that Sophie took her there showed her that Sophie actually paid attention to the things she said.
The best thing about the date was the easiness of it. Since they were already so comfortable with each other, things flowed nicely when they got into their rhythm. The vibes were there as well as a lot of laughs, as usual, but there was also something deeper. The flirting, for one, had been amped up now that neither of them were holding back. Ryan couldn’t help feeling a little scared yet excited for the way Sophie made her feel. She had never felt this way so early on. This was just the first date, for fuck’s sake.
Even though it had been several hours since their evening together began, the night ended far too quickly for both of them, and now here they were, at the end of the date standing in front of Ryan’s front door.
Ryan smiled back at her. “Me too. It was really fun.”
“So,” Sophie said, taking a small step closer. They were only a couple of inches away from each other now. “Can I do it again sometime?”
“Take me out?”
“Yeah. I’d like to. If you want me to.”
Ryan tried to play it cool, but the way she was cheesing gave her away in a second. What was this woman doing to her? The effect Sophie had on her was addicting. “I think that’s something I can get behind.”
Sophie couldn’t help but laugh. “Cool. Okay then.” To Ryan’s disappointment, she took a step back. “I’ll text you?”
“You better.” Sophie just smiled wider and turned to make her exit. Ryan stopped her, and when she turned back around, she was in her personal space. “You’re not going to kiss me?” she pouted.
“I mean…” Sophie blushed and stammered, causing Ryan to giggle. “You want me to?”
Ryan bit her lip to reign it in. Sophie was being so adorable right now. “You’ve been so smooth all night, but you’re too shy to kiss me? You’re so cute.”
For some reason, Sophie took that as a challenge. She wasn’t cute, damn it, she was sexy and badass. Of course, she knew that the two words weren’t mutually exclusive, but they felt like it in the moment.
Ryan noticed the slight shift in her demeanor and thought she offended her until she looked into her eyes and saw nothing but determined confidence. Her eyes widened slightly before closing as Sophie gently gripped her chin and pulled her into a heated kiss. Her hands gripped at Sophie’s waist as she moaned and pulled her closer. The kiss came to a natural, softer close after several long seconds, but neither of them moved from their positions except for when Sophie let go of Ryan’s chin.
“You’re going to fuck me up,” Ryan quietly said against her lips before kissing her again. Her arms moved up to wrap around her neck and she leaned back a little so that she could look into her eyes with a bashful smile. “I can already tell.”
“Oh yeah? How’s that?” Sophie asked, equally as quiet. Her brain was still spinning from that kiss.
“I already can’t stop thinking about you, which is very annoying by the way.” She playfully rolled her eyes then smiled to show Sophie that she wasn’t really bothered by it at all. Ryan’s face became more serious as her eyes dropped to Sophie’s lips. “Then you go and kiss me like that… ”
Ryan was both surprised and not surprised by their chemistry. She really liked Sophie, and this date just amplified those feelings. She honestly didn’t think she could be more into Sophie, especially not so quickly, but seeing that softer, more intimate side of her changed everything.
Sophie couldn’t help the smile that broke across her face, but she tried to contain it as best she could. She did an exceptionally poor job at it. “I’m sorry you have to go through that.”
“No you’re not!” Ryan laughed, finally breaking away from the intoxicating woman in front of her.
Sophie neither confirmed nor denied verbally, but her growing smile said it all.
*that I wasn’t meant to hear
Oh, you’re falling for me/Oh, baby, I caught it/Ooh we can be/Whatever you wanna call it
Ryan smiled when she saw that she was getting a call from Sophie. “Hey, Soph!”
She frowned when there was nothing but shuffling on the other line. It sounded like Sophie was talking to someone else. Realizing that this was a butt dial, Ryan was about to hang up until she heard her name. That made her stop as her curiosity got the best of her.
“Shut up, Jay.” Ryan could practically hear the eye roll, and it made her laugh.
“I’m just saying I’ve never seen you as down bad as you are for this Ryan chick. So?”
And Ryan couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but this woman… her voice sounded vaguely familiar. Had they met before? She honestly wouldn’t be surprised. Like Sophie said, it sometimes felt like everyone in Gotham knew each other or someone adjacent.
“So what?”
“So when do I get to meet her?”
“I don’t know, Jay. Maybe in a couple of months or something.”
“Couple of months?!” The other woman, ‘Jay’ apparently, sounded offended. “I want to meet her now!”
“We’ve only been on a couple of dates. No way I’m introducing her to my crazy ass little sister this early.”
For some reason, at that exact moment, everything clicked into place, and Ryan’s eyes widened at her sudden realization. How did she not figure that out sooner? Sophie told her she had a ‘crazy ass little sister’ named Jordan. She just didn’t realize that it was the same Jordan who she occasionally did volunteer work for and with at the Community Center. It melted Ryan’s heart to know that she was a topic of discussion among the most important person in Sophie’s life.
“Damn only a couple of dates? And she got you sprung like this already?”
“I know,” Sophie laughed. “We’re not even official yet but something about her… I know it’s crazy fast.”
“First of all, y’all were friends for literal months before y’all went out, and that’s not counting your little trip into stalker town when you drove thirty minutes to stare at her—”
“—oh my fucking—”
“—so whatever you’re feeling isn’t crazy or too fast. Second of all, if she can put that goofy ass grin on your face, I wanna know about her.”
The silence continued until Jordan got too impatient. It was only about thirty seconds of quiet, but even so. Ryan was grateful for her impatience.
“Girl, spill already, damn!” Jordan laughed. “You know you want to.”
“Ryan’s just…” she trailed off with a happy sigh. Ryan could just picture the content look on her face, and it made her smile grow. “I really like her. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s probably way too soon to say, but… I think she might be the one. I can really see myself falling for her, Jay.”
“Sounds like more than that,” Jordan joked. “You look like you’re halfway there already.”
There was dead silence. After a little while, Ryan briefly wondered if they stopped talking because they realized she was on the line.
“Soph… are you in love with her?”
“I—“
Heart pounding, Ryan quickly hung up the phone. She didn’t want to overhear whatever Sophie was about to unknowingly confess. That wouldn’t be right. She wanted Sophie to be able to tell her face to face. That didn’t stop her beaming smile though. She already knew that Sophie cared about her—she showed it every day—but this accidental confirmation made Ryan positively giddy in a way she couldn’t recall ever feeling before. She was still cheesing hard as fuck as she shot off a quick text.
[12:51 PM] Ryan❤️: date night tomorrow?
[12:56 PM] Soph🥰: just give me a time and a place😊
Ryan smiled and held her phone to her chest. Sophie wasn’t the only one sprung. She wouldn’t be able to get the goofy grin off of her face anytime soon.